If You're Already Dead?
The setting sun hammers down on us as we rattle along the tracks. Thank Celestia for magical automation. I dunno know what I'd do if the trains were stopped, too.
There ain't nothin' I can do anymore. Just gotta wait it out, I guess. Hope it'll work.
"Damn. It really is cold out here, ain't it?" I ask as I gaze out the open doors of the musty boxcar we're in. It don't surprise me when I hear no response. My eyes brush over the trees whizzin' by. I hope it ain’t too bad up in the north.
I don't wanna look down. I know what she looks like, and I know it ain't good. Nothin' good ever comes from those things. And nothin' good 'bout what we did, neither. But she's still breathin', and if she can hear or see me, she should know she ain't alone.
Damn it, I don't wanna see what I done. I've seen it enough. More than enough, really. I know she must be takin' it real hard. But… she is still breathin', right? The constant chuggin' of this Celestia-forsaken train is all I can hear. I wanna tune it out, but I can't focus enough.
I try to distract myself with something. Anything that I can see. The air is cold, but there ain't any snow just yet. We gotta get to the snow before I know we're actually gettin' closer. We've been on the train for hours, although the ride always seemed shorter before all this.
Shit.
I really don't wanna look.
But I gotta. I shuffle awkwardly as I sit near the edge before glancin' down next to me. I shiver.
Once sky-blue, Rainbow's coat is now stained with drying blood. The bandages where her wing used to be are gonna be needin' replacing some time soon, but we don't have any extra. At least she's awake now. Musta been plumb awful for her.
I grimace at the sight. I can see her sides heavin', which is good, but her stare is empty and her chin rests firmly on the floor. Not even the shakin' of the train causin' her teeth to chatter prompts her to move. Nothin' except her body keepin' itself barely alive.
I wonder if it'll give out sometime soon. I really hope it doesn't, I need her here with me. I need her to be okay. I need her to make it so I can keep her with me. But for now, she's layin' on the ground next to me.
Still, though, at least she actually is right there next to me, although she's probably barely aware of where she is. Sometimes, she responds to what I say with a grunt, but I dunno if she actually knows what's goin' on. I sigh and look away.
"Yknow, you owe me, Rainbow," I say over the metallic chuggin' of the train. "I got you outta there alive. Only a chomp taken outta yer wing, too."
She doesn't respond, or even move. Why am I talkin' to her?
Cause she's still alive. Gotta keep her that way.
"I know ya said ya didn't wanna remove it, but I figured if we removed the area of the bite, the… the infection, or whatever it is…" My voice trails off.
I can't even bring myself to believe my own claim, but I hope it's true. It might have saved her, maybe. But what if I done screwed her over? A chill runs down my spine at the memory.
My hooves are stained red with her blood. I ain't a stranger to havin' to get dirty, but I've never been covered in somepony else's blood before. Least, not like this. Only a few times has anypony really gotten hurt near me, but I don't usually deal with it if I ain't alone. Never been good at first aid.
The train takes an unexpected bounce, sending me barrellin' forward. I catch myself with an outstretched hoof and turn to make sure Rainbow is okay. The hop turned her on her bad side. She doesn't even whimper as her wound presses up underneath her, although I know it's gotta hurt. She's just so… so out of it. Just like…
No, that already happened. No use thinkin' 'bout it. I turn back to Rainbow. I gotta help her.
I don't wanna touch her anymore. I'm afraid I'll hurt her more than I already have. But I gotta do it this time, just like I had to do it that time. With my legs as steady as I can get 'em, I stand and shuffle closer to Rainbow. Her eyes turn to glance at me, which is a relief. Her head still stays facin' forward, but at least she could tell I moved.
"I'm gonna move you back on yer stomach, alright?" I dunno if it helps any to talk, but on the off-chance it does, I do it. "It'll only hurt more if ya stay restin' on that wound."
I carefully wrap my forelegs around Rainbow's body and pull her back so she's restin' on her belly. As I do so, she squints and her features tighten a bit. I know it hurts her, but she definitely don't show it much. I dunno if she really can.
Despite my assumption, Rainbow Dash groans a little bit, catchin' me off guard. I turn to look at her face to see her still staring at the landscape blur by. There's something different though. I think she's cryin'.
Alarmed, I settle down to her level and keep one of my hooves wrapped around her back. "Dash, you alright?" I grimace and use my other hoof to brush her mane away from her face. She's pale and her eyes are red. I don't remember if they were like that before. Maybe it's from the crying?
Rainbow Dash lifts her head a little bit and weakly opens her mouth. Nothin' but a strained whimper and foamy, bloody saliva comes out as she coughs. Her jaw moves as if she were tryna speak, but she can't make any words. Her eyes shut with the effort, but nothin' happens.
The blood isn't new. It's only happened a few times in the past hour or two, but it's definitely gettin' more and more frequent. I just hope this is as bad as it gets, although… I know it ain't.
I sigh and wipe around her mouth with my hoof. It's a major upgrade from before, the fact that she's even tried to say something, but she still hasn't been able to say anything. "Take it easy. You're still hurtin'."
I give her a smile. Don't know it does anything for her, but it’s better than nothin'. I shake the bloody foam off my hoof and follow her gaze out of the boxcar. The slowly setting sun casts an orange light on everything, and I almost feel serene. At least now Dash looks like she's got some life in her. Golden hour really makes everythin' more beautiful. That's what Rarity used to say.
Feels stupid even thinkin' that right now.
Rainbow Dash rests her head back on the dirty floor, somehow looking more exhausted than ever. It's already been almost a day since she got bit, and I'm gettin' worried.
I've seen it happen before. Ponies get bit and come nighttime, they turn.
I dunno if they're even really alive at that point, but I know they're strong as an angry bull. It's like they don't care about anypony else anymore, not even themselves. They bite. They've got these fangs and they bite like a rabid dog.
I turn to look at Rainbow. They got her, too. But we were quick. We got rid of the wing they got 'er at. I think… I think that'll help.
There's no way to cure it, far as I know. But I heard on the radio that whatever's happenin' hasn't really affected Canterlot yet thanks to the shield and safety precautions over there, and they're workin' on a cure at the Crystal Empire. No word on if it works, though. I hope it does.
They don't usually come out durin' the day time; they usually get ya at night, and you've got til the next night before anythin' bad starts happenin' to ya. We made sure to get on the first train to come by. This one leads up north to the Crystal Empire. I hope things are better up there and I really hope there's even some kinda chance of a cure.
Rainbow takes in a shaky breath, and I turn to look at her. The tears've stopped, and she looks like she might fall asleep. I don't think that's a good thing, especially now that the sun's goin' down.
I rub my cheek against hers in an attempt to soothe her and keep her awake. I gotta stay strong for her so I push down my own set of tears. "Come on, sugarcube… Stay awake. Come on, just a little longer. We're almost there."
Rainbow shudders. "A… Applejack…"
My entire body goes rigid. She's barely said a word since this morning, and especially nothin' for the past few hours. I didn't even think she could. I don't say anything. I can't. I want her to keep talkin', so I fix my attention on her.
She takes in a breath before coughing out blood. "Applejack," she groans, "it hurts. You gotta… you gotta help me…"
I frown as she turns away to cough up more blood. Her entire body spasms and I don't know what to do so I hug her closer to me, making sure to be careful with her wound.
It's gettin' worse. "I know, Dash, I know. But you just gotta hold on. We're almost… almost there."
"What h-happened to the rest of us?"
I look down at my bloodied hooves. It all happened too quick. I don't even know how to explain it because I didn't see it all happen. "One moment they were there and the next…" My voice cuts off. I'm not sure why. "Don't you remember?"
Rainbow Dash weakly shakes her head.
I really don't wanna talk about it, but she deserves to know. "Well… I guess she didn't tell us, but… once it 'came night, Pinkie began turnin'.” I frown, the image of a snarling, bloodthirsty Pinkie Pie flashing in my mind. “I dunno how she hid it for so long but all of a sudden she was spittin' up blood and stumblin' around and then soon as the moon came up, she attacked. Them dang fangs were about the biggest I've ever seen on anypony.
"She got you, Dash. You were so brave. You helped Fluttershy escape. Pinkie wasn't alone, though." I bite my lip and look away. "There were so many of 'em, and nothin' we did could stop 'em. They got 'em all, Dash. We had to go…"
I swallow a sob as Rainbow Dash turns to look at me, bewildered. The tears in her eyes come back. "Y-you left them behind?"
"There was nothin' I could do," I plead. My sentence ends in a cough, which turns into the sob I had swallowed. "Ya gotta understand."
Rainbow Dash grimaces. I haven't seen her express emotion like that in what seems like forever, but it was really just a day. "But you saved me," she points out. A low, wet growl hangs under every word. "Why?"
I let my eyes drift over Rainbow's features. She's covered'n blood, her mouth still dribblin' bloody saliva, but that don't matter to me. She's still my Rainbow Dash. I blink slowly, not sure if I'm frowning or smiling. "You know why."
I find myself still holdin' Rainbow to me which can't be comfortable for her so I let her go. Rainbow doesn't say anything more, instead she grinds her teeth together like a toothin' puppy. I don't think she even realizes she's doing it.
I wanna say something, but a thud on the roof of the train car stops me. We both tense up. I slowly rise to my hooves, and the hair that isn't plastered down by dry blood on my back stands on end.
Everything is perfectly still, except for the constant movement of the train. The thudding stopped, but then again, it could just be the clanging of the train tracks that ain't letting me hear. I just hope it's nothing.
Thud.
It isn't nothing. It's something. A few more thuds shake the roof above us, and I duck further into the car in response. I wish I could close the doors, but then whatever is up there will know we're in here.
I hold my breath, as if that would help. It seems like there's a lot of things up there. I dunno what they are. Vampires? Zombies? Some awful mix o' the two? I just call 'em things. I don't want those things gettin' down here. One of em already got Rainbow. I need to stay alive for her. I need to find her a cure before it's too late, but time’s runnin' out.
I just gotta keep it from runnin' out faster.
They're walkin' around up there. These must be the ones that can fly, then. I dunno if that's any better. They're kinda dumb, at least. I'll hold on to that.
Rainbow's breath hitches under me. I didn't notice I had moved to stand over her. I just wanna protect her. I look down between my legs. Rainbow's still resting on her belly, which is good, but her hooves are now scrambling away at her face. She's making too much noise, so I try to shush her, which only elicits a sharp hiss from her.
I curse under my breath as the banging from above stops. They heard us. Shit.
One of them swoops in from the top faster than I could even notice. I get knocked backwards by the impact and slide on my back to the wall. I immediately jump to my hooves, and find myself surrounded by three of those things. I know them. One of them is that mare who likes strawberries, and the other two are those twins. They seem hurt, which I figure is the sun's doing. Those things don't do well in the sun.
The more they stay in the shade, though, the less frazzled they appear. I gotta get 'em out of here. They all lunge at me at the same time, so I duck and push my way out. I'm bigger than them, so I easily out brawn them.
But I still gotta be careful, I can't get bit. They at least seem to be ignoring Rainbow Dash, who is coughing up more and more blood as she tries to get to her hooves. I frown and jump up a stack of boxes in the corner. "Dash, stay put!"
She doesn't listen. One of the things—Flitter, I think, or at least what used to be her—gnashes its jaws at me, long razor sharp fangs threatening to tear me apart. I panic for a moment, finding myself cornered with the three of them coming at me. I look around desperately, my gaze quickly flicking around the car and back to Flitter, who leads the group.
There's nothin' I can do.
I scream as it lunges at me. I await the piercing feeling of fangs into skin, the burn of pain, the sound of flesh ripping, but none of it happens. Instead, I hear a grunt and a hiss, and Rainbow's taken it down with her. I gawk for a moment before giving Cloud Chaser, who was actively tryna bite me, the hardest buck I've ever bucked and launch her into Strawberry Sunrise, sendin' them both clean across the train car and into a pile of wooden boxes.
As good as that felt, I need to help Rainbow. I ignore the pain in my hindleg and jump down the pile of boxes, landing awkwardly. I hobble over to where she's barely keepin' Flitter at bay with her own set of growing gnashing fangs. Bloody foam drips from the edge of Dash's mouth as she growls and pushes Flitter down.
I run as dang fast as my legs allow me and bodyslam Flitter away from Rainbow Dash, who falls forward. The bandage I used to keep her wound safe falls off, exposin' her haphazardly stitched wound and her missin' wing. I was never good at that sorta thing anyway. Damn it, I wish I had taken Big Mac's advice to learn from him.
The light from the setting sun goes from a warm orange to a deep red, reminding me that there's only so much time left. But it's enough! It's gotta be. I desperately look at Rainbow Dash, who's bitin' at nothing and writhing on the floor. The filth from the boxcar ground has gotta be gettin’ in her wound, and I wonder if that even matters anymore.
Her make-do stitches are fallin' apart now and blood starts to flow from her wound again. I wanna tell her to stop, that she's only makin' it worse, but somethin' tells me she ain't fit to listen right now.
I jump over her and barricade myself between her and the three things huntin' me down. They shake debris off their heads and bare their teeth at me. I ain't ever seen fangs so big, not even on the bigger animals that Fluttershy used to have around.
Every alarm in my body is ringing, telling me to run, to save myself, but I hold my ground. They gallop at me, Flitter and Cloud Chaser stayin' straight on at me, while the one that was Strawberry launches itself in the air at the last moment. I scream in rage as I get pinned down by Strawberry. I'm stronger than 'em, but I'm exhausted.
I writhe around, managing to barely evade their chomping jaws. Strawberry hisses, spraying me with spit, and the anger inside me builds up, contrasting with the now freezin' air. We're so close. Just gotta stay alive. Gotta stay alive and make it out alive or else the others were left in vain.
I regain my energy and kick it off of me with a grunt. Strawberry shrieks as I do so, wings flaring. I'm afraid it'll fly again, so there's only one thing to do. I buck, aiming for its head. I don't know what I hit, but my hooves make contact with something solid and it goes flyin' off the edge.
Flitter and Cloud Chaser rear up, trying to get leverage, but I'm done with it. I run forward screamin' and whip around, actively confusing them. In their hesitation, I gallop back at them full speed and headbutt Cloud Chaser, who falls back with a grunt. It slides near the edge of the train cart, but before I can push it off, Flitter shoves me, narrowly missing my shoulder with sharp fangs.
I yelp and make sure that Rainbow is okay, before jumping backwards and away from her. They might be ignorin' her, but I still gotta make sure she's safe. I stare them down, and they open and close their jaws like wild animals. At least there're only two of them left.
Flitter is the first one to come at me. I steel myself and widen my stance, fully intending to take the brunt of the hit head on. The closer Flitter gets, the wider those jaws open. I bare my teeth back at it, although mine ain't sharp like theirs.
Right before it gets to me, I sidestep, causing it to stumble where I once was. It hisses, and as it turns around, I use that as a chance to ram full force into it. Her? I dunno what to call these things.
Flitter stumbles off, but uses a strong pair of wings to stay balanced. I'm good at one thing, and I decide to use that to my advantage. In the split second before Cloud Chaser gets to me, I give Flitter a buck right to the chest. I feel a satisfying crunch as it goes flying off the train. There's no scream this time.
Cloud Chaser lets out a roar of some kind, kinda like a screech. I step away from the edge. If I fall… well I don't got any wings to keep me up, that's for darn sure.
Maybe I used to be able to do this all day, but I'm startin’ to feel tired. I breathe heavily, tryna catch my breath as Cloud Chaser grunts and groans and hisses. I wonder why it doesn't just attack me, but I'm not complainin'.
I don't wanna be attacked again, so I figure I'll just get it over with and get it outta here. I gallop forward and roar in rage. I just want to save Rainbow. "You no good flank-bitin' snake!"
I tackle it, sending us both rolling to the ground. Jaws clamp and bite at me, but I keep her – it enough away from me with a hard shove. I push Cloud Chaser to the ground, pinning it down by the throat with a blood stained hoof. It growls and chokes and coughs, trying to bite at my leg, but can't reach.
"You disgustin' pile of shit," I spit at it. It writhes under my weight, and I almost feel sorry for it. Almost. "You're the ones who gave my friends trouble! You're the reason Dash is like this!" I shove harder down. The noises it lets out are something I wish I never heard.
Behind me, Rainbow coughs. I can hear the wetness behind it. She whispers my name, but I don't look.
"You stupid vermin," I hiss. Cloud Chaser's stopped strugglin' under me, but continues to stare at me with somethin' primal... something no real pony should have in their eyes.
"It's not her fault," Rainbow wheezes behind me. "Just… g-get her out. Please, Applejack… This isn't like you."
Everything inside me stops. I don't want her to think I'm like them. Cloud Chaser starts writhin' under me again. I clench my jaw and loosen my hold on her just enough so I can roll us back over, putting her above me. I kick it backwards, completin' the roll. Cloud Chaser goes off the edge of the train and slams into a pole with a loud clang.
It screams as it hits the snowy floor, the train quickly leavin' it behind. I spit out the opening.
The sun is barely peeking over the horizon, the light slowly disappearing with it. I stand, heaving, and look at Rainbow Dash, who’s gasping for breath on the ground. Fresh, bright red blood contrasts the dark maroon of the dry blood from before. I set my jaw and push the cart door closed as the sun fully sets. The only light comes from the lantern I brought from the last place we were in. I’m glad I brought it.
Rainbow Dash coughs. I can't tell if the blood came from her mouth or from her wound; it's everywhere.
I throw myself on the floor next to her. I dunno if I'm sweatin' or cryin', but something is stinging my eyes. "Rainbow…"
Rainbow Dash grimaces, her face paled with pain. The fangs she now has are as big as they were on the other three. She looks wildly at me. "A… Applejack…" Her voice is barely a whisper, and it breaks my heart. "Please don't let me turn…"
"We're almost there," I plead. "Just… just hold on."
"Applejack, please," she barks. Blood sprays out her mouth. "I don't wanna hurt you."
"I… I bet they have a cure," I try, freely cryin’ now. My leg stings. I know what happened, but I don't wanna tell her.
"You're… you're not a liar, AJ," she whispers. Her entire body trembles as she speaks. "If you love me… just…"
She coughs. Dark blood sprays out in front of her. I dunno how she's even alive with all the blood she's lost but then I realize that she's probably not going to be alive much longer. I just wish that meant she wouldn't need to suffer more. I nuzzle her, getting her blood all over me. I know what she's asking for, and I know she's right.
"I love you so much, Dash," I murmur into her fur. She's still shaking, but I know it ain’t from the cold.
Rainbow Dash wraps her forelegs around me. I'm surprised, I wasn't sure that she could even move like that. Carefully, I hug her back, making sure to hold her as tight as I can in a way that won't hurt her. I can feel her tremblin' gently. I wonder just how much pain she's in.
She coughs, sprayin' blood down my back, but I don't care. Rainbow Dash nuzzles further into my neck and her body rattles with sobs. "I didn't mean for this t-to happen," she cries.
"I know," I whisper back to her. "I know, Dash."
The train jumps, forcin' her back onto the floor. I shakily stand. She can barely look up at me, but she does it anyway. She begins gnashing her jaws, pleading for me to just do it before it's too late. I turn away from her, my hind legs in front of her head.
"I'm sorry," I whisper, shutting my eyes tight.
There's a loud crack as I stop her from turning. Her body thuds, and blood pools at my hooves. I'm too afraid to look back.
I know what I did, and I know it ain't pretty. I fall down onto my belly, my hindlegs aching and burning and stinging from the fresh blood entering my wound. I start cryin', really cryin'. I sob like I've never sobbed before. Everythin' that happened over the past two days finally catches up to me and I sob alone. My tears fall on the floor of the train and mix with her blood.
The train slows to a stop just as I've run out of energy to even keep cryin'. I lie on the ground in a pool of blood that ain't mine. I know that Dash's body is behind me, so at least in a way I ain't truly alone.
But in the way that matters, I am.
We've reached the Crystal Empire. Even in the enclosed boxcar, I can see my ragged breaths turning to small clouds in front of me. I feel hot, though, like steam should be flowin' off of me.
I'm bit, but I don't make a move to get off. I know there's no cure. There was never any point. Just some misplaced hope. There ain't a fix. Not for her or for me. At least she won't turn into one of 'em.
I close my eyes and wait for the train to start movin' again.