> A Collection of Speedwrites > by Dashie04 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Apart From My Kin > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ponies weren’t necessarily looked on kindly by Changeling kind. They used to be seen as little more than a source for love and food. Recently, that had changed, Changelings had become more ponylike, and also changed their appearance completely. They changed their appearance into fantastical colors. Then there was me. I was taken away from my hive as they all changed, and I couldn’t quite find it in me to quite forge a connection. The ponies who’d taken me seemed to love me, but I couldn’t. All of the love wasn’t shared equally. I’d heard stories about my old hive, and how they shared love with one another. They were all these beautiful colors, and I was simply alone. They didn’t really treat me as a Changeling, more of a pet. I wanted to be with my old hive again, Changelings who loved each other and Changelings who were treated by ponies as proper ponylike creatures.  I couldn’t love somepony back who treated me as a pet, it makes me wonder why they ended up taking me in the first place. Was I young and shy, and couldn’t speak up, or did they just see me as a pet? Something to show off to everypony else? Whatever the case, I wasn’t any sort of beautiful color, I was black, and my hooves were still ragged and torn. As much as my captors loved me, I didn’t love them, there was no love shared between us. I got up from the bed I laid beside and stepped on out into the main part of the house. Nopony was home, and I realized I didn’t care. I stepped out, and I made my final choice. I needed to go out there and find somepony who would treat me like a pony equal instead of a novelty that was something they salvaged from a warzone up North. Somepony who might love me, carapace, holes, and color be damned. I wrote out a candid letter, just like I know my captors did. If you’re reading this, I’ve gone away. I’m running away to simply live my life as a pony equivalent. I don’t want to be treated like a pet anymore, I need to find a place where I can live peacefully. I know how much you’ve done for me, but it’s not enough. I’m leaving, after being alone for so many years. -Slate, your Changeling > Shattered Dreams and Broken Wings > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I can’t believe it, my brother, the one I’d called my friend, had left me. I’m all alone, with shattered dreams and broken wings. Falling, that’s all I feel, that’s all I’d been feeling for years. I don’t know why I didn’t cut him off earlier before he could cut me off, because whenever I was around him I felt positively miserable. Now, I’m sitting alone, in a Cloudsdale alleyway. Xephyr was my brother for the longest time, he raised me when my parents dropped out of my life. We never found out what happened to them, nor did I even find out who Xephyr’s were. All I knew was that we were both alone, and we bonded over that. He tried to get me flying, but I never seemed able to make it. Nevertheless, he knew I could fly someday, and so he enthusiastically continued trying. I’ll never forget that orange coat for as long as I live, we made so many memories together. The more Xephyr tried, the worse I got, so he took me to get a diagnosis, or a flight plan, or anything that would’ve helped me get up and going. When the doctor came back, the verdict was clear and concise. The words still reverberate in my skull, even so long after they were said. “Scootaloo, you’re never going to fly. Your wings will never fully develop.” Right that moment, I knew what I felt. Shattered dreams, and broken wings. I walk deeper into the Cloudsdale alleyway, absentmindedly kicking a can. Me and Xephyr never had a permanent place to stay, but we tried to make the most of it. Now, it was much of the same, but all I could really do was walk around Cloudsdale and scrounge what I could get.  Bored, I think back to what happened after that diagnosis. Me and Xephyr never had much of a home, but we thought we were home when we were together. However, after that diagnosis, Xephyr changed. Stunted wings had always been a bit taboo in Cloudsdale. It’s a rare affliction, and ponies desperately tried to avoid mentioning it. This led to an adverse reaction whenever stunted wings were brought up. So, when Xephyr looked at me, all I could was uncertainty. He wasn’t comfortable around me, because he, like most Cloudsdale ponies, tried to avoid ‘stunties’, as the pejorative tended to be. Everytime I looked at him, I felt the same feeling I felt in the doctor’s office. Shattered dreams, and broken wings. Now, when I walk through Cloudsdale, many ponies still try to avoid me. The same idea is clearly evident. They usually give me what I ask, but it’s only because they feel they have to.  The moment they’re done, they usually go on and pretend like that interaction never happened. That’s why I tend to go at it alone. If nopony wants to respect me, I may as well not interact with them. I kick the can off to the side and continue walking to nowhere in particular. A place to rest, maybe? There’s no place to call home, but I suppose I can find a place to rest for a while. I just want to find a place that isn’t this alleyway. Walking out, I go on a main road. Out of the corners of my eyes, I notice a few ponies walking about. When one looks at me, they look away almost immediately, but their eyes can’t help but come back to me, over and over again. It makes it feel even worse. The fateful day when Xephyr finally left was nothing climatic. He just… left, he left like he didn’t want anything to do with me. My stunted wings were actively a detriment to the relationship.  There was no note, or anything else for that matter. I just woke up one morning and he wasn’t near me. I’ve never found out where he went. I just know that despite my discomfort with him, his leaving still felt like a knife twist in the ribs. It isn’t healthy, and I know it isn’t, but I can’t just leave the memory of him behind. I constantly have to keep my thoughts coming back to Xephyr, my brother. And everytime it feels exactly the same. I feel those feelings both in regard to my brother and his leaving. I can neither bring myself to be with him nor cut him out of my life. It feels terrible. He’s forever in my mind, and I want the terrible relationship back. The one where I was glared at for having stunted wings, the one where I was left behind like a discarded piece of furniture. But I want the life back where I wasn’t alone. I sit down in the alleyway across the main street, and I start crying. Why did Xephyr leave me? Why did I have to want him back? Why did I have to, of all things, have stunted wings? Why couldn't Cloudsdale and my relationships be fair? Shattered dreams, and broken wings. That’s all I feel, and all I presume I would. I lie down in the alleyway. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a cyan streak across the sky, above the alleyway. An admirable sight, but not one that would make me feel any better. Not unless it was a pony who decided they wanted to actually be a pony I could look up to. I’d already had enough of those though, one broken pedestal was enough for a lifetime. I close my eyes, and attempt to go to sleep. It was all I could do, really. However, on the edge of consciousness, I hear a raspy voice speak. “Hey, kid, what are you doing out here?” I open my eyes, her coat is cyan, and her mane is a striking rainbow. “I’m Rainbow Dash. You?”