> Love On The Brain
>  by XerricklaMerrick
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter 1 - Habits (Tove Lo)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It's amazing, the kind of habits you pick up when you're all alone." 
She hadn't meant to say it out loud. That was when she knew something was wrong. It had come out bitter, almost slurred. It had to be a mistake because the last time she checked, admitting to any fault was so far below her station that it never crossed her mind. Confusion swirled in her head and on her tongue. No, this was wrong. Wrong for her. What had happened to her? Time was, she could have had an army of suitors at her door, waiting to be used by her. Or uppity noblemen thinking to take advantage of her. Or a legion of fans trying desperately to sneak backstage and get a piece of her. What had become of her? And why was she so wet? Her mouth was filled with a taste like stale cinnamon. 
"What?" Adagio Dazzle blinked the green haze from her eyes, and she looked down. "Ah. Right." 
The man slumped over at her feet had fog in his eyes and drool running down his chin. He'd be out for a while, like they always were. Adagio's mind focused, and she remembered where she was.
A somewhat drunken man had met an impossibly gorgeous woman with prodigious hips and flowing orange curls sitting on his favorite barstool. He'd given her a couple of sloppy compliments. She'd given him a short giggle, a light conversation, and a lascivious look, and then they were in the alleyway behind the bar. 
She'd pawed at his chest and purred out promises as her knee rose between his legs. The city lights peaking into the alleyway danced over her voluptuous form. He'd moaned and bucked his hips and called her baby. She'd laughed and unzipped his fly. He'd stared into her haunting magenta eyes, and then a stream of greenish energy came flooding out of his mouth and into hers. He tasted like too much cinnamon whiskey. The siren drank deep of his emotions. Maybe too fast, because she stumbled as her head was flooded with them. 
Confusion, anger, humor, arousal, so much arousal, all raged across her palate like a storm-thrashed sea, coating her tongue. And then she had caught herself lamenting her life as of late and the indignity of it all slapped her out of her emotional stupor. 
She spat at the ground. It had been barely a mouthful of feelings. She wiped her boot muck on the man's sleeve. 
"It will have to do." She had to get moving; couldn't get caught again. He wouldn't remember most of this, but he was the third man she'd drank in as many weeks. If she didn't take a break, there'd be too much hearsay about her to keep operating in this city. Her heels clacked loudly on the pavement as she strode out of the alley, a slight stumble in her step.





The City of Canterlot was about what you'd expect if you were a cynic. A big, gaudy ugly thing, straight steel and sun warped glass and towers and all that, and an uppity population filled with some of the biggest pricks in all of the good ol' U.S.E. It was a town built on broken promises. 
Buck remembered. The adults had said that it was the land of opportunity, that there was always work and possibility in Canterlot. When you left high school, you'd be ready to take on the world. 
That was about eleven years and seven shitty jobs ago for Buck. He remembered all the shiny graduation banners that showed Canterlot as an equally shiny metropolis, and it probably was one at some point. Now, however, in the late spring rain, in his apartment room on the west side, at his desk, all Buck could see was a waste of potential. 
"Or maybe that's just my reflection. Damn. Damn, that's brutal why did I write that?" He muttered.  
His room was dark, lit up by only his desk lamp and the light of his PC. When did it get so dark out there? How long had it been raining? How long had he been writing? He squinted through the dark at the clock on his wall. Then he remembered that the clock had been broken for two weeks, so he checked his computer's clock instead. It was 2:30 am. Half-hour past his bedtime. 
"And what've I written in that time?" He said, cracking his back. 
It was a five-page manuscript of emo poetry. Decent emo poetry, he guessed, but it was supposed to be a feature about a young woman making it onto the CCU track team, a historic first for Canterlot City University. The notes from the easy-ass interview were on the corkboard behind the desk. He'd forgotten they were there. He'd forgotten he was there, too. Instead of doing his gig, he'd just sort of zoned out and listened to the rain. 
He'd been thinking about the number 30. Thirty was a dark and devious figure waiting for him like a bandit down the road. It had been preparing to spring out and smack him in the back with a baseball bat. 30 was waiting for him, and Buck had been trying his best to take his time walking down that road. He believed that if he squinted, he could just barely spot 30 waving a sign that, helpfully, had a cheery message printed on it to the tune of "Past Your Fucking Prime." 
So he was depressed, that was it. 
"Great. Just great. No article, still no girlfriend, just another wasted night." He groaned into his hands as they covered his face. Buck was a bundle of aches and pains. He had been sitting in that "shrimp" position for way too fucking long.  Being a washout was exhausting. 
"At least I have you to look forward to." He turned to look at the little slice of hope he had on his wall. A poster showing a sunny shore. The words on the bottom of the poster read "Lord Hoof Island". Next to that name was an image of a shining black opal, and beneath that was a stool with a jar nearly full to bursting with cash. Buck smiled and yawned. His knuckles cracked as he flexed his fingers. It would all be worth it. 
Buck decided, rather diplomatically, to jerk off, go to bed, and actually write the damn article in the morning. He grabbed a small bottle from under the desk; might've been cider, might've been warm beer, and he headed for his bedroom.





Adagio cursed the sun and everything it stood for. She glared hatefully up at the skylight in her bathroom and nearly slipped on the tile as she tried to hobble out of her tub. The one she'd been sleeping in. Alone. 
"Eergh. Disgusting. Those emotions gave me a hangover. What a pathetic excuse for a man." She hissed, painfully. Her foot was asleep and her hair was a damp, tangled mess. She shifted, then winced and looked down. She had thrown up in the tub at some point. 
After a deep breath, a quick shower, and an extended bath, Adagio picked herself up and toweled off. Revolting. When had things gotten like this?  She stumbled to wrap a robe around herself, then sat heavily before her mirror and started her meticulous hair routine. A platinum record hung next to the mirror. It had Sonata's name on it. Was it months or years since then? Adagio's tongue tasted like stale regret, but that couldn't be the case, because she was perfect and regret was for the imperfects of the world.
As she popped open a bottle of clarifying shampoo and wet her luxurious orange locks, she looked over her voluptuous body. Her second-best asset. 
Adagio had been a terror in her time, her beastly emphatic magic granting her sway over all in her path. Her ability to drain the emotions and magic of others gave her near-immortality and agelessness.  But even now without her magic, the greatest tool in her arsenal was her power of observation. Minute details captured in the twitch of an eye, with all knowledge easily turned into options. 
This was not magic, nor an inborn trait; it was the razor-sharp scrutiny that could only be crafted over centuries of practice. She was always the smartest of her generation, and she knew to trust her own judgment. This is why she was hit with a wave of sour disappointment as her keenly honed insight told her that she was dangerously close to getting fat. 
But of course she was! The food in this wretched city had turned increasingly awful in the last decade. Thousands of good little workers shuffling lamely to their dead-end jobs, too numb to get mad about it anymore. Whenever she wrung one dry just lately it was like eating junk food, but it was the easiest prey she could get. Her personal magic stores were suffering more than ever, her own emotions were starting to slip, and her body had taken to it poorly. 
Her breasts had swelled, as had her waistline. Her thighs became just a bit more prodigious, and her legendary cheeks nearly hung over the sides of her bathroom chair. Instead of the petite physique she had strutted in for thousands of years at the peak of her power, she more resembled a rich soccer mom in her early thirties. 
Without a steady stream of mana to tap, her body had begun aging. She stood. Turned as she blow-dried her hair. Terror struck in the form of a mental image; her pristine form sagging into a hanging curtain of geriatric flesh; a fate worse than death.
Adagio Dazzle sneered, plucking a bottle of hair dye from the rack next to the sink. 
"Well then. There's nothing for it. This unbearable cities' flock is too full of numb angst to feed me properly." 
She wiped the sleep from her eyes and crossed her suite into her bedroom's walk-in closet. Everything was slightly out of place; colored garment sections bleeding into others, ensembles dissected, separated, and never reunited gazing at each other with detached longing from every shelf. Her eyes drifted past an old pirate flag on a high shelf. It had been Arias'. Those were the days.  
Adagio was inching closer and closer to losing control, and she was entirely bereft of someone to lean on and find her balance. 
"I need a better vintage. Someone more long term, with some real emotional depth...some charm." 





Buck woke up with his dick out, but that was nothing new. His phone alarm had kicked him out of his shitty night's sleep, marking that it was around brunch and therefore time to start his day. Fuck, his back was sore. So were his feet. 
He bumbled through throwing together a basic breakfast-like thing and was about to sit at his desk to write that fluff piece he'd put off when his doorbell rang. 
Buck opened it with toast in his mouth, his glasses askew, and was met with a smiling grey face, a slightly shaggy head of yellow hair, and an off-center pair of equally yellow eyes. Buck was extremely glad he had remembered to put on his pj's before answering the door. 
His neighbor Ditzy Doo was just about the only decent person in this complex, and she giggled, reaching out to adjust his glasses. Ditzy Doo was also a kind of stringy, waifish woman. She had violin hips and she bounced on her heels in a way that was at once both nervous and a little whimsical. She also had a very generous bust that gently threatened to pop one of the buttons on her candy-striped delivery uniform. Buck caught himself staring and focused back on the cheery eye that she had on him. "Hey Ditzy, what's the word?" 
"Hm? Oh! I'm about to head out, Buck. I just wanted to make sure to ask you if you're still going to babysit Dinky on Wednesday night? I have some important work." 
"Right, yeah! I remember, I've got it marked on my calendar." That was four days from now. Today was Saturday, he was pretty sure.  
"Oh! Okay, okay, good! I just wanted to make sure because you know, you told me you have trouble remembering that sort of thing and, but, but, that's okay! You're a great babysitter and Dinky loves you, I just-" 
"It's alright, Ditzy. I get where you're coming from." Buck said, patting her shoulder. He yawned, then. Ditzy clammed up, her expression scrunched.
"Oh! And, um, remember how you said that you were thinking about maybe dating again sometime soon?" 
"...Yeah?" Buck blinked. 
"Well...look at this! Uhm...hold on..." Ditzy said, reaching into her satchel and rooting around. She produced a flyer, which claimed in a few words that the local diner and bar was going to host a speed-dating night. 
"Does this say it's tonight?" Buck said, lowering the flyer. 
"Yeah! I know you don't work tonight, so I figured you'd wanna go and check it out!" Ditzy said. "You know, go, uh, shmooze and make some moves and maybe meet a special lady?" Ditzy said.
"Uh...hm. Yeah, sure, why the hell not. I'm, I'm not gonna really get my hopes up, but it'll probably be fun." 
"No, no, don't say that, Buck! I'm sure things will work out! You just have to keep swinging!" Ditzy curled her fists with determination. "You gotta at least try, right?"
"Say, Ditzy, what time you off work?' Buck said, scratching the back of his head. 
"About seven...why?" Ditzy said. Her fists were down, and she was twirling a little lock of her hair with her finger. 
"Well, I'm not gonna expect much from speed datin', but I figured I could tell you how it went when I got back. You know, you and Dinky and me, hang out? It's been a while, and I could really use a friend right now, you know?" Buck shrugged. Ditzy blinked twice as if taken aback. 
"Oh, um, sure! We can, yes we can do that! You just go out and have fun, and I'll see you back here after!" And with that, she spun on her heels and quickly made her way down the hall. 
"...Alright, Ditzy I'll see you later!" Buck called, but his energetic neighbor was already off. 
Turning back into his apartment, Buck heard the familiar sound of a bumbling step, followed by a tumbling step, then a loud thump coming from the stairwell. Buck was about to inquire, but then he heard Ditzy's shaky voice.
"I'm okay!" Echoed up the stairs, then the sound of feet scattering outside. 
Buck smiled, shrugged, and closed his door.

Back at his desk, Buck cracked his knuckles. There was a little paper heart hanging next to the window. It said "Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, to our bestest muffin buddy, from Ditzy and Dinky!" in some kind of pink, sparkly gel pen. Buck smiled, and not ruefully. He'd been living next to Ditzy and Dinky for about two years now, and in that time he'd kind of turned into the man of their house. 
Ditzy was a single mother, she had it hard, so Buck helped her out when he could. He was strong and handy, and so whenever there were grocery bags to carry up the stairs, or a light bulb that needed replacing, or a night where another babysitter bailed, there he was. He smiled. 
With Ditzy and Dinky and his friends over at CCU, he wasn't alone. Just lonely, and horny. He shook his head, set his timer. 
"Focus. Article. Track team. College history of sexism. Go." He let his fingers fly across the keyboard. 





The streets of Canterlot were bathed in dying light. The dazzle reflecting off the windows of a nearby
skyscraper stung Adagio's eyes, even with her sunshades on. As usual, she was dressed in a sexy little number. She wore a pair of dark purple stilettos. 
It had taken her centuries to perfect the art of strutting in heels, and so she moved with practiced poise, her strategically ripped jeans squeezing at her rolling hips. Her dress was a lavender-colored sleeve off-the-shoulder situation that showed off the delicate curve of her clavicles and shy, peeking cleavage. It had a trailing pattern of orange strawflowers that drew the eye down to her hips. A cute little studded choker with a leash ring wound around her neck, wordlessly speaking volumes about bedroom predilections; a whisper of an invitation. 
But that was her typical Saturday look. It tended to draw in guys who pretended to be nice. 
The cherry on top was that she had taken the time to carefully and fully dye her hair a blazing red. It had taken all day. Since she was wearing it down, the tips of her tresses nearly touched the ground. Her hair matched her lipstick, and the slight highlights over her eyes, right behind her reading glasses that darkened in bright light. 
She looked like a librarian who only discovered yesterday to her absolute shock that she fit the "hot" descriptor quite well, and in an equally miraculous revelation, decided that she wanted to waste her precious time on some disgustingly sincere man for the evening.
In other words, she was a flawless lure for the shallow pool of minnows she was entering. She strutted through the door of the bar, wordlessly filled out the speed dating application, and patiently sipped on an ice tea as desperately hopefuls slowly stepped into line. 
It was time to play the game. She ended up being somewhere in the middle of the rotation. 





So had Buck. 
He was nervous as all hell. He always was with things like this, and after he filled out his form, his brain started doing that shitty thing it does whenever attractive women were close by. He recognized a few pretty girls he'd seen around town. He even knew a couple of names. Immediately, his head filled with derogatory statements. 
"None of them will want you. None of them could want you. You're too damn complicated. You talk too damn much. You'll bore them. You're too sensitive. You walk too fast. You'll tire them out. You're just too fucking horny for them-" 	He shook his head, like shaking out an etch n' sketch. 
Uh-uh. Not tonight. He was determined to enjoy tonight. What was the harm with talking to some bachelorettes? This was his night to cut loose, just a little bit, and if he got blown off, so what? He'd still be able to hang with Ditzy and Dinky and talk about how shitty things turned out, so it'd be fine. And the best-case scenario? He might meet a girl with some real character or even get proper laid for the first time in...a while. He frowned. 
"Don't think about that. Just, be normal, and have a good time. Hey, wait, is that Scoots?" 

Leaning on a wall, looking about 1/4th as nervous as him, Buck saw his acquaintance Scootaloo. 
She was frowning at her application and occasionally looking up with a smile for people passing by. She was an especially short girl, barely 5'1" and a couple of years younger than Buck. Her cute bobbed hair had a few pink ribbons strategically placed in the bangs. A crop top and a blue skort signaled to the bar that Yes, she was indeed a girl, and surprise, she was available. Buck rolled up to her. 
"Hey, Scoots!" She startled briefly, then grinned as Buck leaned on the wall next to her. 
"Hey, Buck! What the hell are you doing here?" She chuckled, giving him a fist bump. "This is like, the first time I've seen you outside of work! Or game night." 
"Weeeell, my Ditzy said I oughta check out this speed datin' thing, and so here I am. If I'm being honest, I'm kinda freaking out." 
"What, really?" 
"Little bit," Buck said, pinching his fingers together. "Like this much. Pretty girls, you know, they get my blood pumpin'. 
I don't wanna slip and say some embarrassin' shit." 
"What? Are you for real, Buck? You're like, one of the chillest guys I know. I wouldn't even know you were Into girls if you didn't play a bard all the time! Why don't you pull out some of those ridiculous charisma rolls for tonight?" 
"C'mon, Scoots, they don't want to hear that corny shit." 
"No, not the thees and thous and whatever. I'm talking about the confidence, man! You just have to come at 'em like you own the place, flash that shitty grin you have, and talk like sorta low. Maybe growl a little, rawr." Scoots put a curled hand up in a gesture that Buck thought was meant to ape a feral beast. Instead, it was more like a lethargic kitten.
"Scoots. Come on." Buck said, rolling his eyes.
"No, you come on!" She elbowed him in the ribs. "We're here to have fun, so have fun! Show 'em you got balls! What, did you lose 'em, big guy? You need help finding 'em?" She said, miming a look through a pair of binoculars at his crotch. Buck chuckled. 
"Such an asshole. No, I got my balls, alright, hands off! Oh hey, I finished that article about you, and the track team. How's that going?" 
"Sore." 
"Really?"
"Yeah. All those dudes are sore because I blew the ass off their sprinting records. They couldn't catch me to save their lives!" 
"Hah! Is, is that good?" 
"Yeah, man! It's fine. Just like you're going to be, tonight. So loosen up!" She said. 
"Alright, alright, don't push! Hey, I'm hanging out with my neighbor and her kid after this. You wanna come with? We can throw on somethin' scary once the kid's asleep." 
"Dude, yes. We should totally hang out. But in exchange, when we get halfway done with this, promise me that you'll rag on the worst ones you've talked to, so I can do the same with mine." 
"Oh sure, it'll be like a pit stop. Say, what name did you put down for your pseudonym?" 
"Oh, right, right, I should probably pick one...There. How's that?" Scootaloo said, holding up the paper with pride.
"Chillwing." Buck said, flatly. 
"Yep." Scoots smiled. 
"Chillwing, as in your Rogue." 
"Yeah!" 
"Chillwing, as in the rogue that you play every single Tuesday game night." 
"Yuh-huh." 
"Okay, but Why, though?" 
"Hey man, you can't beat perfection! Chillwing just happens to be the name of a sexy, badass, knife throwing lady, and I'm gonna take that sexiness forward tonight! Uh, minus the knives." 
"Always with the knives with you. Okay. Alright, whatever. Are we supposed to be ordering drinks, d'ya know?"





Adagio Dazzle had been watching the room fill slowly with potential prey, orbiting around the bar and waiting for the event to start. The room stank of desperation. 
The ladies of this city must have been possessed of exceptional patience, or especially low standards because there were some poor specimens on display tonight. Uppity Blue Blooded snots, a man likely quite disgustingly Rich and too old and married for this venue, a man who was painfully average and Normal and hadn't she seen him before, somewhere? Adagio couldn't remember. She made sure no masculine eyes were on her as her own threatened to roll straight out of their sockets. 
Tonight couldn't be a bust. 
There had to be some decent food in this wretched town! Adagio sheepishly fluttered her eyelashes as another man walked by. He squared his shoulders and barely registered her. 				
"Too uptight, that one. Come on now, this is a number's game, there must be...Ah!" Adagio raised a hand over her mouth to cover her devilish grin. She spotted a strapping man talking to a girl who looked like she could be his little brother. 
He had wide, sharp shoulders and a noticeable cut to his muscles. His skin was dark violet, his thick, textured hair a mulberry color with a shock of light blue running through it. It was pulled into a puffy ponytail with a...pink scrunchy? A mistake? Perhaps he had rushed over here. Perhaps he just liked pink. A sensitive type? 
His face was soft and firm and just a bit sun-beaten; the qualities of an excellent stool. He had the sort of stubble that would tickle at the inner thighs. His frame was stocky and rugged; not the marble cut features of a model, but the wide and sturdy build of a workhorse, with Clydesdale calves to match. His long arms ended in fingers that had a pleasant, filling thickness. 
He had on a plaid shirt that slightly hugged his barrel chest. Beneath was a black tank top that was bereft of any graphics displaying his interests, which was excellent because Adagio couldn't be bothered to care about them. He had simple blue jeans under that, with a curved line in the front that suggested about a handful and a half. 
His eyes were the color of burnished gold behind his glasses and they looked tired. Sleepless? Anxious, perhaps? A night person? Nervous around women? Perhaps not. He was carrying on a conversation with that girl, and by the way she was chuckling, they either knew each other before tonight or she had "accidentally" brushed his thigh just now. 
Adagio saw him take a slow look about and managed to time it just so.

Buck was taking a casual glance around the bar. It looked like things were about to start, considering the crowd that was shuffling over to the line of tables. Lots of confident-looking dudes in here, too, and maybe half as many confident girls. A lot of them were starting to look like they might regret the night. He was just hoping he could maybe make some of them laugh when he saw Her. 
She'd been yawning cutely across the room when his eyes fell on her, and she just happened to toss a sidelong glance in Buck's direction. Her eyes trained on him for a moment that felt like years. She blinked her long eyelashes and then an impish curl slid across her puffy, painted lips. She puckered those lips and made a little kissy sound at Buck and then turned to find her table, giving Buck a sideways view of her absolute dump truck ass as it and her bouncing red locks sashayed away. 
"Holy fuck." Buck murmured, absolutely shook. 
"What's the matter?" Scoots said, tilting her head. 
"That's...the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my entire fucking life." 
"Whuh? Where!?" Scoots said, looking around. 
"There. Red hair. Stilettos. Thick. With like five 'C's." Buck pointed surreptitiously. In response, Scootaloo peered around in a way that almost approached the idea of subtlety. 
"...Oh damn. Damn! Buck, are you sure?' 
"'bout what?" 
"You sure you want to swing for her? She's like...aggressively out of everyone's league, here." 
"Scoots!" 
"I'm just sayin' man! Just...nah, screw it. Just have fun. What's the harm?" 
"Yeah...what's, uh, what's the harm?" Buck said, his hands quivering a bit. 
"Look, let me scope her out." 
"What?" 
"Dude. I'm on the dude's side tonight." 
"What?"
"I'm lookin' for girls tonight! I'll do guys on the next speed dating thing!"
"...what?" 
"Look. Swap numbers with me. I'll be ahead of you in line. I'll talk to her before our pitstop, get a lay of the land, you know? And then I'll let you know what her deal is, 'kay? I've got your back." Scoots hooked a thumb at her face.
"Wingman Scoots. That's a...that's a new one. Alright. Sure." Buck shrugged.
"Yeah, see! It'll be fine! Uh, what're ya doing over there?" Scoots said. Buck was a few steps away, at the bar. 
"I'm gettin' a tequila sunrise, because I'm terrified. Ya want one?"





The air in the diner was heavy with awkward attraction and low excitement. It tasted like cheap dimestore candy. It helped Adagio to focus. 
A few sessions down, she was already exhausted with the fodder in this speed dating line. They were the usual suspects of big eyes, small brain sort of men she'd been preying on for the last while. The common clay of Canterlot City. Idiots.
As she tittered and mumbled her way through this parade of dullards, she occasionally leaned forward in a faux flirtatious way and snuck a peek at the cute one she'd caught in her sights earlier. 
He looked like he was having at least a little fun, but the way half the girls he talked to started to look exhausted or yammered on without him saying a word told Adagio that he wasn't especially good at shaping the conversation. Good. That would make things easier. 
Adagio would lean forward with a slight tilt of the head, waiting for him to nervously look down the row of tables, and she would flash him a grin and he would sit bolt upright and out of her sight. 
"Much, much easier." Adagio murmured, and then she caught herself and pretended to laugh at a joke about her ample cleavage coming from across her table She kept a side-eye in his direction. 
She wanted him to know that she was circling him like a shark. 

Buck had ordered and quickly downed a double shot in his drink, and so was instantly kind of drunk. He considered this a net win because if he really ballsed it up tonight, he probably wouldn't remember. 
To his lack of surprise, the first couple of rounds were kind of trash. He rambled about his hobbies and his writing and all of that, and the girls had been very polite and let him talk. Mostly. A white and purple-haired woman with a sharp nose and a sharper frown asked him if he ever shut the fuck up about old bands before calling him a dweeb and getting up from the table. That was a miss, so Buck pivoted by trying to be cool and listening more than talking. 
This also backfired on him, because that made him seem like he didn't have anything to say, and that was especially boring. Or perhaps he was simply mute. The inquisitive older woman with the purple blazer and the harsh eyes didn't seem to care which, but her tune shifted as he invited her to rant about her office job. She seemed to lean into the conversation after downing her own drink, but her friend had to come and save her from drunkenly leaning right out of her chair. 
The next chair was empty because its occupant was sitting in the lap of the last guy she'd been talking to. That guy had the scrunched face of someone smelling absinthe breath for the first time. Always nice to see Berry Punch, honestly. 
All the while, Buck kept stealing glances at the mystery woman he had seen earlier. Well, he thought he was being stealthy and all, but it seemed like every time he caught a glance at her, she was sizing him up, or adjusting her hair with her chest pushed out, or lightly tracing circles on the table grain and grinning at him. He was not so drunk that he was seeing things; she was clearly signaling him. And in response, his chest was signaling something in morse code, but Buck was able to calm down just a bit despite the red-haired woman's proximity when Scootaloo tapped him on the shoulder. 
The partner across from her was half asleep. The strikingly familiar woman across from Buck had dark purple hair and an expression blanker than a canyon wall. "Hey, uh, do you-" Buck started. 
"No." She interrupted. "I don't mind, that is. I was just thinking about leaving." She said as she idly rolled a small stone in her palm. 
"Thanks, Maud. Nice seein' ya. Oookay. So Scoots." 
"Yeah." Scoots said, looking about, a bead of sweat on her forehead. 
"What's...What's the scoop? You talked to her, right?" 
"Oh. Oh! Yeah, I did. Man. Buck, listen to me." 
"Okay?' 
"She's into you, man. I'm not kidding. She dressed me right the heck down when I sat, and asked how I know you. 
"...Is this a joke?" 
"No! I mean, probably not. She's like...she's intense, Buck. Couldn't get a read on her at all. Seems kinda familiar, but I don't know from where. But I see the way she's looking at you. She's gonna eat you alive, man." 
"Okay, stop. She's not a monster, she's just a very beautiful woman, and she probably wants to tease me a little, give me a fake number and then have a laugh." 
"I seriously doubt it, dude. She's on a mission." 
"Whaddya mean?" 
"I dunno, man, I dunno! Just be cool." 
"...I'll try?" Buck said, scratching his head. He took a deep breath. "I mean, that's all you can do, right? Just try and enjoy the night, and be suave and don't be weird. Just...be cool and charming. Right?"

"Oh yes, I'm sure charm is exactly your area of expertise, handsome." Adagio purred. The cute one looked like he was focused on psyching himself up, and didn't notice the line moving. Adagio now sat across from him, and before he noticed her presence, she had scooted her chair back and strategically crossed one leg over the other. His eyes darted down and then away like a pair of desperate little fish. 
"Uh, uh, h-hey! Hey, it's nice to finally meet you after, you know, seeing you across the bar." He stammered. Waves of nervous excitement washed off him in a mist. It tingled, like pop rocks. 
"Yes, I couldn't help but notice you talking to your friend? I assume?" 
"Yeah, uh, yes. She's an acquaintance of mine, from work." His voice was a warm baritone, oddly a bit squeaky. Late bloomer, he had to have been. 
"Yes. She's a bit of an...eccentric. I wasn't expecting her to be so skittish!" 
"Uh?" 
"Yes. The moment I mentioned you, she broke like a dam and started telling me how you're 'Like a really good guy' and 'Nice in a dorky sorta way'. You'd think she was being interrogated, the poor thing! She was certain that I wanted to know all about you." She fixed him with that gaze she had that villages burned beneath. 
"She did? Uh, do ya?" 
"Is that surprising? That a woman would take a sudden interest in you?" 
"You'd be the first one tonight." Ooh, self-deprecation. It tasted like an old scar, or several.
"Let me start simple." Adagio said, fluttering her eyelashes. She cast her line.
"...Simple is good." 
"It can be, yes. Tonight, you can call me Heart Song." She said. 
"Ah, and you can call me Soulful Serenade." He smiled a bit as he said that. Good. Now watch the bobber. 
"It's lovely to finally see you up close. I'll have to savor my time with you." Adagio said, offering a hand to shake. He blushed and smiled. An ember. 
"Well, uh, maybe don't savor me too too much, we've only got a couple of minutes!" He said, taking her hand. 
She giggled at that. He had a bit of humor. A light and sugary flavor, like cotton candy. 
"Ooh, quick quips? I've yet to see that tonight. This should be fun." She said, with half-lidded eyes. 
"Ah, well, my jokes can be fast but pretty lame." There it was again, that thin, salty taste. Her prey straightened up his back. "Sorry. Let me start over. It's Soulful Serenade. And you have to forgive my nervousness. To be frank, you're just about the most gorgeous woman I've seen in this city and that's caught me off guard. But!" He said, dropping his tone a bit lower. "It's an inimitable pleasure makin' your acquaintance, and I've got no intention of wastin' your time tonight." 
With that, Buck took his time planting a gentle kiss on the back of Adagio's hand. The slightest blush crept onto her cheeks. 
What was that? Adagio thought. What had she tasted just now? It was like a warm summer breeze. He was confident, actually, just a little unsteady. That smile. Does he...does he know how to play the game? Is this his stance? 
"Well...I will make sure that you don't leave disappointed either." Adagio said, lowering one leg and sliding the other atop it. She caught Soulful's drifting gaze, but he swiftly snapped to attention. A dab of savory temperance. "Though I must ask; the most beautiful in the city, really? How am I not the most gorgeous woman you've seen in your life?" Adagio said with a toothy grin. She rested her cheek in her palm. 
"Ah, well, l-let's save that value judgement for after I get to know your personality, huh?" Soulful stammered. 
"Aren't we presumptuous? And what if I turned out to be a vicious old hag, what then?" 	
"Well, you're gorgeous and you sound really witty, so even if you happened to have a mean streak, it would just mean that you aren't completely flawless." Soulful smiled easily. 
"Oh? Is that so?" Adagio said. 
"Exactly. The most beautiful things in the world are flawed. Like...snowflakes, or rough drafts. You can't expect every little detail to be perfect, like the curve of those hips." Oh, a fine parry. Was he a bit drunk? His feelings were starting to come down in waves. Wiggle the lure, don't scare the boy off... 
"Ah? Oh! Oh, my! Well, Mr. Serenade. You're sharper than you seem." 
"...Thank you?" Oops. Honey. Not vinegar. 
"That is to say, you have a way with words. You wouldn't happen to be a poet or a scribe, would you?" Adagio said. Soulful Serenade tilted his head. 
"Oh, uh, yeah, I write articles for a livin', at the moment." 
"At the moment?" 
"Yeah, I've always wanted to do fiction, y'see." 
"Is that so?" Adagio pushed, gently. 
"Yeah, gettin' short stories around is easy enough, but gettin' novels published is a whole lottery on its own. 
It's a number's game, really." 
"Oh, a novelist, are we?" 
"A lil' bit of everything. Poetry, some song lyrics and novel type stuff, yeah." 								 
"You sing?" Adagio didn't have to feign her intrigue this time. 
"Ah, well, not seriously anymore. But I used to, and play a lil' piano. Used to street perform, a million years ago. Took me a while to figure out I wanted to write, you know?" 
"Oh! I knew you had a certain look about you!" Adagio said. 
"Huh?" She saw him notice her hand creeping slowly toward his on the table. He smelled like excitement now, and in the back, Adagio sensed a rising flare. 
Adagio leaned forward, showing a slight bit of cleavage. Drag him in. 
"You're a virtuoso. A man of many talents. A silver-tongued bard." She purred. Soulful's hand went up to scratch his head, reflexively, escaping a brush against Adagio. 
"I mean, I wouldn't go as far as to call myself a bard, but I do play one on Tuesdays." His chuckle was cut short by a small gasp. Adagio's high-heeled foot slid with intentional slowness up the inside of his leg. 
She had won. 
Bards were always the easiest to snare, and they often could last for weeks before giving out. All she had to do was get him to show his impish, vicious little colors, and then she could begin her feast in private. 
"Well, Mr. Serenade, I would love to take a peak at some of your manuscripts, perhaps have you recite some poetry, or even...make you sing for me?" Adagio growled. Her eyes locked him in a hawkish gaze and her pinky reached out to lightly caress his. Meanwhile, that wandering foot she had under the table was gently sliding toward his crotch. 
And there it was. Adagio saw it in his eyes and tasted it in the air. For one moment, there was only lust. The thirst in his eyes burned back into her. It was like standing next to a pyre. His funeral. It made Adagio shudder, just a bit. 

He saw it. He grinned, and for that moment, she saw the flicker of a flame in his smile. And then just as quickly, it vanished and that restrained nervousness settled back in. 
"I uh, I...wow, uh..." He looked to his left and saw his little wingman giving him a thumbs up. "That's, um. Okay, wonderful as that sounds..." Soulful Serenade turned his hand to gently cup Adagio's. His hands were big and warm and shockingly soft, like his eyes. "I'd...really like to get to know you more before we get to all that." 
A taste of warm chocolate, semi-sweet. There was a patient pride in him and curiosity. He was telling the truth. Not just a boy, then. A man. 
"And I just know that you wouldn't be satisfied if you didn't get to talk about yourself tonight. Am I right?" He said, placing his other hand over hers. 
Warmth. Why did it still taste so warm? He was on the defensive, but he was pushing. In his eyes, there was still a bit of that sharpness. 
Adagio felt her own eyebrow quirk, saw him smirk. A jab. A challenge? Fine. She smirked at him down her nose. 
"Well, come on, then." She said, slowly pulling her hand away and quickly standing up.  
"Huh?' Soulful said. "Whaddya mean?" 
"We're leaving. You are taking me on a lovely evening stroll to the nearby pier, and we will continue this conversation without the rest of these gawkers." Adagio said. 
"Yeah?" Soulful said, bemused as he scooched back his chair. 
"Yes, I think so. The next man after you smells suspiciously like a tub of jelly, and the women after me aren't worth your time." Adagio said, taking Soulful's arm. She subtly pressed her breasts against it and let her eye wander along his upper features.
He smelled like cologne that was only slightly cheap. He had a mole under the corner of his right eye. He was warm. 
He looked away, probably to check on his wingman. She was in the middle of cracking up at her own joke. He winced at a sharp nail on his cheek, gently turning his head to look down at Adagio. She was about a head shorter than him, looking up. Her hawkish magenta eyes caught him again. 
"Shall we?"
"We shall." He smirked. The two of them sauntered out of the diner together. Adagio surreptitiously tossed a handful of numbers from her purse into a potted plant by the door. 
Down near the end of the line, Buck's neighbor Ditzy Doo looked positively shattered for a moment and then left out the other door. 





Buck always preferred Canterlot City nights. The blistering day heat gave way to cool breezes after the sun went down, and he always had an easier time thinking with the lights of the city in front of him. At the moment, though, he was having a hard time thinking of anything besides Heart Song, the mysterious woman with the fire engine red hair and the sharpness in her eyes. The slight tumble in his steps reminded him that he was still drunk, and that made him hope that this wasn't an elaborate plan to steal his kidneys. 
For the few minutes they'd been walking, Heart Song had hold of his arm, and her breasts were lightly bouncing against it with each step. This was the most distracting thing that Buck had ever experienced, and he'd sat next to Pinkie Pie in sophomore math. Was this actually happening? If it's not, I don't want to wake up, he thought to himself and thanked whatever gods were watching that he hadn't blurted it out. 
"So, uh, the pier, huh? You like the water?" Buck blurted out instead. Relax, he thought to himself. Things are going good. Just walk straight. 
"Ooh, absolutely. There is nothing so beautiful in the world than a great body of water. The fury of the waves, the mystery of the depths, the sparkle of the surface...it's poetic, truly. I...come from beach folk, so I suppose it's only natural that I love the water."  
"That's funny. I come from a port town, so the ocean was always in my backyard too, so to speak." 
"Oh? May I guess remote deep south, from that accent?" 
"Outskirts of a meltin' pot city, but yep. Way down there. Yeah, rain over the ocean is the most soothing thing in the world to me. Watchin' raindrops slowly slide down my window, or finding interestin' odds and ends in the sand. At the beach, the scenery is always changin', you know? It's both chaotic and reliable. Violent and gentle. Gorgeous, in a million little ways, all the time." Buck sighed as he and Heart Song strolled along the wall separating the sidewalk from the beach. Buck looked over and saw a look of near shock on her face that she quickly tossed aside in favor of a devious grin. 
"A poet indeed, Mr. Soulful Serenade. That's about as apt a metaphor for nature's greatest wonder as I've ever heard." 		 
"Then why do you look disappointed?" 
"Oh, I'm not, that was lovely. It's just, it wasn't too long ago that men would tell me all sorts of parables and poems about beauty and the sea." 
"Yeah? Did you used to host poetry slams or somethin'?" 
"Oh no, they came to talk about my beauty and compare it to the beauty of the sea." 
"Ah."  
"Indeed." 
"Oh, I get it." 
"Hm?" 
"Fishin'. You're fishin'. You must be gettin' comfortable with me." Buck chuckled. 
"Oh, you're terrible! Baseless accusations and nautical puns?" She said it haughty-like, but he could see her smile peeking from behind her hair. 
"Yeah, I can see that you're real upset, cry me a river." 
"Ohhh, gag!" Heart Song lightly smacked Buck on the chest. 
"Hey now, with the hands! Naw, but seriously, I think I've got one. A sea-based compliment." 
"Is that a fact?" 
"Yeah. You wanna to hear it?" 
"I would. But be advised, any who bring me bad compliments or worse puns will be tied to a boat anchor so they can brine for my next meal." Adagio said with a wry smile, curling her hand like a claw. 
"Oooh, spooky. Okay, but lemme try." 
"Well?" Buck stopped and turned to her. He took her hand again. 
"Miss Heart Song, your eyes are like a far flung constellation over a dark and beautiful sea, guiding me to the warm shores of an exotic new place." 
"Ah..." She closed her eyes and smiled triumphantly. 
"Or guiding my ship to be smashed against the rocks on the shore. Not sure which." 
"Pffft-hahahaha!" She laughed, finally, at that. Almost hysterically. Buck had to stop walking to let Heart Song catch her breath. She had to cover her mouth, while he grinned like a stand-up comedian. 
After a moment, she finally stopped giggling and stood up, wiping the bangs from her face. Her face was red, and for a moment, she wouldn't look at Buck.

Adagio hated this. He had actually managed to make her laugh. She couldn't tell if he was particularly prescient and too intrigued for his own good, or an actual idiot who just happened to be on the ball today. It didn't matter, she supposed.  She was quietly furious at the blush on her cheeks. The night was cool, but where they were touching, she could feel a warmth spreading through her. A heat that she almost feared to approach. This wasn't fair. He was her prey, she couldn't let this "Soulful Serenade" get his licks in like this. At least, not without her permission. She adjusted her smile, looked up at him, and then leaned her head on his shoulder again. 
"You're silly, Mr. Soulful." 
"Nah, the world is silly. I'm just observant. For instance, I can see that you have a wicked sense of humor. And nautical theming, I guess? I bet there's a spooky pirate flag somewhere in the back of your closet and you're just mortified by that." 					
"Oh, How dare." Adagio said, flatly. He was definitely still drunk. 
"Sorry, did I touch a nerve? Madame, if I may be so bold, you have badass lady pirate captain written all over your face." Sass, adulation. It was like spiced rum. And again, that warmth was coming off him. 
"Well, if you keep this up, you have the makings of an excellent cabin boy, Mr. Serenade." 
"Aw man, not even a quartermaster?" 
"Hush. The cabin boy gets all sorts of special privileges." Adagio said, tracing sharp little circles on her guests' chest. Gentle, draw the knife slowly.  
"Y...yeah?" Adagio saw heat creeping into his cheeks.
"Oh yes. They have a special relationship with the captain. They can visit her quarters...and even go below decks." She said. Her hand wandered up and lightly brushed the back of his neck. That heat was rising. More. She wanted to touch it. Feed it. Adagio could see her predatory grin reflected in Soulful Serenade's gold-colored eyes. 
"Are...are you asking me on a second date...?" He said. A taste like a piece of hardtack. She was being too gentle. 

"No." Adagio said, and then she pulled him into a viciously passionate kiss. She didn't bother leading up or trying to tease him into it. Her tongue was in his mouth and it was ravaging his. She scratched the back of his neck with her nails, and for his part, he began to push back with his own tongue. Adagio squeezed his bicep and pushed down on it gently, urging him to reach, and he did so, squeezing a handful of ass. Adagio moaned low and thirsty in his mouth. His heat was blazing into her. He tasted like old sugar and agave. Her nails got caught in his hair, and she pulled him closer, pressing him up against the sea wall. 
She could taste him wanting her as her vision turned green. 
She felt a shudder run through him. 
She caught herself. Adagio Dazzle was far from done with this man. She hated him for making her want him. 
She pulled away from the kiss, gently digging her nails into his shoulder and stroking the hand that was groping her ass. He was breathing hard. 
"I...oh man...uh-" Adagio's finger went up to his lips. There was no more room for compromise in her eyes. 
"You are coming home with me. Now."
> ((Explicit)) Chapter 2 - Like A Virgin (Madonna)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

This had to be a trick, right? Buck was coming down from the drinks he'd thrown back before speed dating, but he was still tipsy. He'd signed up under the name Soulful Serenade. He'd been strolling along the beach wall leading to the Canterlot Docks. He'd been getting cozy and jokey. Then he'd been ushered urgently to a skyscraper of a hotel and into an elevator. And all of this with the most impossibly gorgeous woman he'd ever met. Her pseudonym was Heart Song, and he'd known her for only a couple of hours. She was all over him.  
It had never been like this; his past hookups, he'd always been the initiator, he'd always fight against his own anxiety to make the moves, and he'd always taken charge, but this was different. 
She wanted him. He'd never felt so damn wanted in his life. Her back was to him, and her glorious ass had him pinned against the elevator railing. She was standing on her toes to lightly nibble at his chin, stroking his stubble. His hands were sliding up and down her stomach. She pecked gently at the corner of his mouth.  How long had they been going up? How had his evening gone this good? He was feeling a little dizzy. 
"Are you sure you're alright with this? I mean, you barely know me and-" He stammered. 
"Are you trying to get away, now?" She growled. Her hair was red as blood. Her eyes a piercing magenta. She turned and pressed her breasts, easily a D cup, against his chest. He could see straight down her off-the-shoulder dress. A yellow abyss. "Are you afraid of me, big boy?" She said, in a low voice. Her hands laced behind his neck. Buck couldn't look away. She smelled sweet and sharp, like ocean spray. 
"That's not what I mean, I-" Heart Song pulled him down to purr in his ear. 
"Doubts? Now? After coming this far? I don't think so. I see you, Mr. Soulful. I smell you. And you smell like a stallion looking to rut. Do you honestly think I'm going to let you go, now?" She said, nibbling on his earlobe. What was that? Buck thought he saw a bit of green in the corner of his eye. Heart Song hiked a knee up and pressed herself against him. Without thinking, Buck reached down and grabbed a handful of ass. "Mmm...yes. You adore me, don't you?" 
"Fffuck yes." 
"And you want me. Say it." She growled. 
"Yes!" He said, and then his lips were on hers. She squeaked in surprise at that, and at Buck's fingers as his hand slid down her ass and started fondling, reaching. He grabbed her wrist and she moaned in his mouth as he greedily dug his fingers in. A moment of haze. 
He blinked and pulled back, almost recoiling. Control yourself, man! 
Heart Song looked at him, licking her pillowy lips. A strand of red hair was in her face. He couldn't tell if the look in her eye was thirsty or murderous. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-ahh..." He was cut off by her grabbing his crotch roughly, a sharklike grin on her face. 
"No. No apologies. Not tonight. Tonight you will show me what you've been holding back, Mr. Soulful Serenade. All of it." She said. Her crushing grip turned into a light, persistant caress. 
"I...can be a lot to handle." Buck said. 
"I can feel that." Heart Song said. The elevator dinged. Buck didn't get a good look at the hallway, because Heart Song was walking backward, tugging on the hem of his pants toward what he guessed was her suite. She kept her eyes on him, unlocking the door with her free hand. The door swung open. She went back to fondling his crotch. "Now, Mr. Serenade, how would you like to come ins-" She froze mid-sentence. 
Heart Song looked over her shoulder into her suite. She looked back to Buck. 
"One moment." She spat. Then she ran inside the threshold and slammed the door in his face. 
"Huh?" Buck said. 





"No, no NO! This place is a disaster, how could I let it get so bad?" Adagio murmured as she frantically stormed into her apartment. She kicked the stilettos off her aching feet. She started sorting. A pair of pants over a chair arm here, a just-finished cartoon of milk on the kitchen counter, a pillow out of place on the couch. In her recent malaise, she'd somewhat neglected her basic household upkeep, and so she quickly and quietly started putting things in their rightful place while she sorted through her thoughts. 
"I'm burning. This isn't right. This isn't how it's supposed to be...!" Adagio muttered. She was combing back the lock of hair that had fallen into her face in the mirror. "I don't...I rarely. I don't sleep with prey, I don't even think about it when I feed, I...they just offer themselves up and I take and I don't need to-I never Need to..." She muttered. She was pouting in the mirror. She had always simply taken what she wanted. Her eyeshadow was a bit off. She touched it up. 
"I never, no, I...on some special occasions, when the mood strikes me, I might..." She wiggled in her seat as she adjusted her posture. She felt a wetness between her thighs. She was soaked. "How did this happen? He must have done something. I can't let him see this place out of sorts, he needs to see I'm perfect, so-" So what? 
Adagio's mind was speeding dangerously away from the point. She had gotten him to want her. He wanted her as a man wants for the ocean while in the middle of a desert. She was going to drink him.  Keep him here and wring the feelings out of him until he was a drooling lobotomite. But this was wrong, she couldn't be like this. Adagio reached down and touched herself gently. A boiling furnace. A deep sea vent. Heat. 
She simply wasn't used to this. This wasn't control. Why did he have to taste so damned good? Adagio stood up in front of her mirror. She was thinner than this morning. Was she truly so hungry? No. Not thinner. Trimmer. The sag was gone. There wasn't a single blemish on her light yellow skin. She was perkier. "Ooooh...ohhhh, no." She frowned. She needed him. So badly, she needed him. 
Wait. 
How long had he been waiting outside her door?





Buck was about to check his phone. It hadn't been that long, really, but Heart Song had slammed the door in his face, and he was starting to worry. For a moment, he felt clarity through the booze and hormones. Holy shit, this hallway was fancy. Heart Song must be rich or something to rent out a room in a place as nice as this. What the hell was going on? He rubbed his eyes and found he was still there, still standing in a ritzy hotel hallway pitching a tent in his pants. It looked kinda familiar. He was just about to knock when he heard Heart Song's voice on the other side. 
"Are you still alive out there, Mr. Serenade?" She said. 
"Yeah. Still here." Buck tried to sound low and cool. He heard her chuckle on the other side. 
"Excellent. Well, as I was saying..." The door slowly pulled inward, revealing a stark naked Heart Song leaning against the threshold. Her hand went from the doorknob to tracing down the side of her incredibly wide hip. Her puffy nipples stood out from her silver dollar areolas. Her thighs were thicker than her waist. She took a slow, wide step and let her thighs spread. A thin stream of clear liquid rolled down her leg. She had the devil's eyes. 
"How would you like to come inside?" She said, biting her lip. Buck didn't need to be asked twice. Her arms were back around his neck as he slammed the door behind him. She was biting his lip now. "Go on...I know you want to. Grab it." Buck's hands took two full handfuls of Heart Song's ass. The cheeks wobbled as his hands roamed, squeezing and massaging. She let out a husky moan. "It's always this behind, isn't it? It's what you men gravitate to." 
"It's incredible..." Buck muttered, in awe. She was pulling him into the living room. Wasn't it a little hot in here? There was a bit of sweat rolling down his face. She let her tongue loll out of her mouth and licked that bead of sweat straight off his cheek. Buck was shocked at how long it was. 
"Aahhhnnnn...mmm...gods, you're delicious." They were against a wall, and she was unbuttoning his plaid shirt. She dragged her nails down the black tank top underneath. "Tell me...what about me do you find delicious? What's your favorite part?" She reached behind her back and pressed his hands into her ass, pressing her sopping crotch against his leg. Oooh, fuck she was wet.  "Is it this...?" She grunted, rolling his hands over her ass. 
"God...damn..." Buck growled. 
"Or this...? Mmmm..." She took his hand between her legs and rolled her hips against it. She was burning up down there. "Or these...?" She took his other hand and made it fondle her breast. It was way more than a handful, like Buck initially thought. His fingers sunk into it and then slid up along it as Heart Song moved his hand, his thumb at the corner of her mouth. "Or these?" She said, nibbling ever so gently on his thumb before taking it into her mouth and suckling on it with a surprising amount of force. She didn't break eye contact with Buck as she did this, her gaze smoldering. 
Buck was starting to moan as she pressed a knee to his crotch. Damn, she knew how to multitask! Then he blinked and looked down at her. "Your eyes." 
"Hm?" Adagio tilted her head, letting his thumb free with a wet pop. "What was that?" 
"Your eyes, Heart Song. Your eyes are like purple whirlpools, threatening to drag me in. I can't look away from them, they're gorgeous." 
Adagio full-on blushed at that. The emotion tasted like rich, creamy chocolate. He was doing it again. She couldn't get caught up in his rhythm. She had to stay in control and wait for the right moment to strike. That's right, focus. This is your lair and your prey. Let him think he has the advantage, and break him down piece by piece. Her guest was surely about to launch into a monologue about her beauty, but Adagio cut him short. She turned and pushed him playfully, causing his ass to land on her couch with a poomf. 
The couch was a lavish, cushy leather affair. It was wide and long enough to act as a bed on its own. Before he could react, she was on her knees in front of him, between his legs, undoing his belt clasp. 
"Oh, oh, wow. Okay. Just..." Soulful Serenade simpered, in a daze. She would get him this time. It had certainly been a while, but her craft had been perfected over centuries. All she needed to do was-Oh. No sooner had she undone the top button did her guests' dick flop out of his jeans and onto her face. It was longer than her face. It was already fully erect, and it has hot. By the gods, she could see his heartbeat.
"Ohh..." She cooed. Her eyes trailed down the thick, pulsing present that she'd just unwrapped. 
"I told you, I-fuck!" Her guest started to protest, but Adagio grabbed the base of his dick and squeezed. 
"No." 
"What?" 
"No. Tonight, this is mine." She gave him a look that showed this was a demand more than a statement. Her small hand had a hard time fitting around his cock. She gave it a few experimental pumps. The head was the color of plum. He hummed contentedly as her other hand began tracing along its length. "How you manage to keep this hidden in there, I'll never know..." She said. 
"You don't have to flatter me, it's not that big." He muttered. It was something like eight and a half inches. She rolled her eyes and traced her tongue down the shaft, torturously slow. She pumped him slowly and licked his heavy balls. She took a deep breath of his musk. She tasted that heat of his. It left a heady, sweet, and spicy taste on her tongue. She suckled on his balls gently, still pumping and squeezing him. His protestations were gone. He was simply watching her work now, in awe. She giggled around his sack, collected some spit in her mouth, and then slid her tongue back up the length of his cock, tracing around the head. He moaned and reflexively grabbed a handful of his undershirt. 
"Fuuuck..." He liked it slow and sloppy, she could tell. Easy. She drooled down his cock, spreading the spit with her pumping, fondling hand. She peeled back his foreskin and tickled the underside of his cock head with her tongue. His moans rose in pitch. A weakness! She licked under his cock head more insistently, then suckled it, her lip catching underneath it. "Holy fuck, you're a pro..." She knew he could feel her chuckling reverberating through his cock. 
She sucked harder, drooling more over it. It was girthy, barely fit in her mouth, but she couldn't let him know that. She simply cooed softly around his cock and kept sucking, establishing a rhythm of her own. She stroked his lubricated length as she lavished his cock head with affection. Her breasts lay heavily in his lap. His eyes blinkered briefly with green light. Wonder, shock, relief. Rising tension. And that heat. It was ambrosia to her. 
She pulled back a bit, sliding her tongue up his frenulum in a come hither motion. He gasped. She flicked it rapidly with the tip of her tongue. He moaned. Why hadn't he come yet? She stroked him harder, assaulting his frenulum with her tongue, a determined shine in her eye, but for all his moaning and bucking, she could tell he wasn't close. She suckled on his tip, rolled her head around for a moment, then slowly pulled her lips away from it with a wet pop. He was near breathless. "Heart Song...holy shit..." 
"Hush. I'll need your help for this next part." She purred, her index finger tracing up his wet length. She spit on his cock head and started pumping it slowly again. 
"Oh, okay...alright." He said. 
"Give me your hand." She said, and not bothering to wait for him, took it. She raised his big meaty paw and gently, sweetly kissed his palm. Where had that come from? Then she placed his hand on the top of her forehead. "I need you to help me get down there, handsome." She said, eyes half-lidded.
"Huh? But-" 
"Shhh...don't worry about me. I just need you to take a little control, grab a handful of my hair, and Fuck. My. Face." She dropped those words into his lap, and then went down again, drooling and tracing her pillowy lips up his length. Then, she opened her mouth wide and stuck out her long tongue with a sweet sigh, letting his cock sit on it. Her breath was hot and hazy. She wiped her hands on his pant legs and rested them gently on his thighs. 
"Ahhn~" She looked up at him, prideful and pleading. Buck couldn't resist. He took his free hand and hooked a thumb into the corner of her mouth, spreading her lips even wider. He gave a slow, experimental pump of his hips and Adagio could see the bemused shock in his eyes as he realized she wouldn't gag. And there it was again. The sharp heat in his eyes, like a fireplace poker. Adagio quivered. She lightly licked the underside of his cock, defiance in her eyes. A dare. He didn't need to be told twice. 
He started to thrust, lightly at first, gently, but then more insistent, his hand catching a snarl of her silky, curly hair. He pulled her toward him and she rolled her tongue and moaned around his cock. She stroked and squeezed his thighs as he thrust upward and forward into her throat. Her eyes watered slightly, but she would not gag. She had learned to suppress that particular reflex centuries ago. 
His thrusts were getting greedier, more forceful. His tender moans were turning into low, groaning grunts as he violated her throat. Easy. He was easy. What had she been worried about? 
She paused for a moment, pulled back to suck him hard but he wasn't having it. He yanked her forward on his dick, rolling his hips faster. He tasted like liberation. An embarrassed king finally given his bounty. A bitter streak of trauma crossed Adagio's tongue. 
Was it guilt? What did he have to be guilty of? She looked up to him, her eyes watering. His was a look of concentration. He was biting his lip. Why did he look so calm? This would not do. 
Adagio tapped quickly at his thigh. She still needed oxygen to breathe. He let her go, and as she dragged her lips off his now properly glazed cock, rivulets of saliva running from it to her lips, she gasped in a deep breath. It was not the labored breathing of an unpracticed whore, it was the steady, counted breath that she had always used to catch and calm her nerves. 
"Are you alright?" He panted down at her. She was noticing a pattern. He was nice. Too nice. He was far too careful and considerate with her. He was slowing things down. She glared up at him hatefully and he blinked in clear confusion. Adagio Dazzle would not be patronized. She threw his knees open, then in one motion, she took his entire length into her mouth, glaring up at him all the while. Her hands reached under his thighs to squeeze his ass, and she rolled her head while her nose pressed against his stomach. Spittle was pooling in his lap as she took all of him. He threw his head back and swore, his knees shaking. "Fuuuck, FUCK!" 
Adagio was just getting started. She bobbed her head up and down, rattling his cock in her throat, kneading his ass. She moaned around him, felt him quiver. No room for shame or consideration. She was furious with him, but his feelings tasted so fucking good, like rich, milky chocolate and hot spice. She milked his cock furiously, breasts bouncing, her chin slapping against his balls.
His face was screwed into a look of pure bliss, his fist in her hair dragging her in over and over. He moaned. He bucked his hips. He wasn't cumming. Why wasn't he cumming? Adagio felt a twinge of panic unsettle her spine. He was tensing and pulsing and groaning, but she could taste him, he still wasn't close. This was unthinkable. She wrenched his hand out of her hair and pulled off him, slowly torturously, then glared at his stupid, fat cock as it twitched in front of her. 

Buck looked down at Heart Song dumbly. That was the best fucking blowjob he had ever gotten. He was harder than he'd been in years. She was amazing. She slapped his cock. "Oh man, I-Ow! Why!?" She was pissed. Had he done something wrong? She caught his dick in a vice grip and those purple whirlpools of hers called him to the abyss. 
"Why? Why haven't you come yet!?" She spat, wiping her mouth with a forearm. She was standing up now, leaning forward, her big breasts hanging. She was up in his face. 
"Oh, uh, hahh...okay, listen. That was incredible. You're incredible! I just-" 
"What. You just What, exactly!?" She growled. 
"I just take a while, alright!?" 
"Excuse me?" She squeezed the base of his cock. Her grip strength was terrifying. 
"T-T-T-Training! I trained! I, uh, I'm a people pleaser, you know? I just last a while, so you can enjoy yourself!" He squeaked. If Buck's face could get any redder, it would. Time seemed to have stopped as he looked up at Heart Song. Her eyes were wide, mouth slightly agape. And then, it closed. Then, it spread across her face, a smile so viciously sharp, Buck instinctually shuddered. 
"Pffft-heheheheheee!" Heart Song let go of his cock and put a hand over her face, and laughed. It was less of a laugh, really, more of a gleeful, impish giggle that made her tits wobble and shake. "I was right about you." She said, smirking. 
Then, she straddled Buck on the couch, her glorious ass pooling in his lap. Her hot, sopping wet pussy was against his cock. It winked against him-a small, tender kiss. A steadying hand on the back of the couch, behind his head. Her forehead was against his now. All he could see in his periphery was her locks of red, curly hair. All he could see in front of him was the hunger in her eyes. 
"You are a stallion looking to Rut." She said. She grinned evilly as she shifted her weight in his lap, grinding against him. "A trained stallion. A Buck." She lifted her hips, reached down, and lined him up with her drooling cunt. She was burning up down there, he could feel it. 
"W-Well, actually, friends do call me-" 
"Shut up." She slammed her hips down and took all of him inside in one brutal drop.

Oh no. No, no, no, no. This couldn't be right. Adagio was silently panicking. She saw stars and she shuddered, briefly.  His dick felt so much thicker inside her. She had stuffed his entire cock inside her in an instant, and this was a mistake. She could feel every vein on his cock with every fold of her cunt. His length was more than she thought. Their pelvises were touching. He fit her just right.
Just right. 
His cock was perfect for her, and in that instant, when they connected, she felt a rush of oxytocin and dopamine flood her brain. Her vicious grin went dopey for a fraction of a second.  She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate. 
"Ooooohhhh...." She cooed. She adjusted her hips just slightly, felt a tingle in her spine. His lips brushed hers. He kissed her. It was so light and sweet, it was shocking. Her knees shook. She had come. Just a tiny, little bit, but she had definitely come just now. From a kiss.
His hand reached down and sunk into her ass cheek. Adagio blinked. He was looking at her now. A wave of that chocolatey emotion crashed over her. It was minty. He was still being tender with her. He was still underestimating her. 	 
She rolled her hips sharply, and he gasped. She reached back and placed a steadying hand on the couch cushion beneath them, between his legs. Her other hand was holding on to the back of his neck. She bucked her hips. Hard. She didn't bother with the lead-up. 
She was going to conquer this man. Her ass rolled furiously against his thighs and she dug her knees into the couch and she rutted him. Her hips were like a wrecking ball, and soon the suite was filled with rhythmic, wet slapping sounds. She moaned. She pressed her breasts into his face, and he in turn fondled her ass and ran his tongue along her teat, searching for a nipple to suck. The heat was blazing in her stomach, near overwhelming in its intensity. She listened to that fire. She squeezed around his cock and slammed her hips into him, faster and faster. 
"You are going to come inside me..." She snarled. Her guest looked up to her from where his face was being held captive in her rack. 
"Whuh?" 
"You are going to come inside me!" She demanded it. 
"But what if-" 
"You can't. It's safe." 
"But-" 
"You! Are going! To COME INSIDE ME!" She roared, whipping her hair back as she picked up the pace. Her voice was hoarse, breathless. He was holding on to her for dear life. He was pulsing, tensing. She was relentless. She kept milking him, hard and fast, pressing his face into her chest. She was on the edge again. A wave about to crash down. Her knees were shaking. 
"Fuck, fuck! Holy fuck!" He was moaning. She was breaking him, finally. A part of her wanted to slow down, but another part, the primal predator of the abyss knew that there was a time to play with your food and a time to savor it. She leaned forward, her ass cheeks wobbled and slapped against his legs, their moans rising together. 
This was it! She gritted her teeth, dug her nails into his shoulders, and stared into his eyes. The familiar green haze had come. She had him. She rolled her hips against him harder, faster, trying to throw him over the edge, into the abyss. 
She opened her mouth wide, and the green haze blasted into her gullet like a torrent. It was like a fire hose of molten, spicy chocolate. This wasn't the usual mucky lust she drank from her prey. 
Something was wrong. 
Her knees buckled as she rolled her hips. Her thighs quivered. She could taste him falling in love with her. 
Her dorsal fins unfurled, they were gossamer and delicate and they fluttered as she shuddered on top of him. She felt ears springing from the top of her head. He was coming, she knew it. He was flooding her with his burning love.  
But then She came instead, screaming. A roar from the deep. A tsunami. Everything was crashing in on her. It was violent, her hips spasming and slapping desperately against his. His passion surged into her mouth, his raw yearning filling her. 
She was choking on it. It was too much--how could there be so much!? She kept coming, the waves of pleasure were battering her, capsizing her. She screamed. She sank. 

Buck felt like he was dying. Or dreaming, he couldn't tell which. Heart Song was riding him for all he was worth, and he had started to bounce along with her frantic rhythm, savoring every vicious stroke of her hips. He thought he was blacking out, but the immense pleasure he was feeling kept him in the moment. He couldn't see. He wasn't sure where he was anymore, except trapped in the feeling of her. All over him, all around him. It was like being devoured. 
Then she screamed, a banshee wail, the like to shatter glass. And she spasmed and her thrashing, wet cunt crushed him and milked him and she dug her nails into him. She was cumming so fucking hard!
And then she was off him. Buck blinked. He hadn't cum yet. Heart Song was laying next to where he was sitting on the couch, mewling, shaking. There was a pool of sweat and other fluids on his lap and on the cushion underneath. He was still hard as steel. Her gorgeous, glorious ass was facing him. She was panting. He couldn't see her face. He hadn't cum yet. 
This wouldn't do, he thought. It was distant, that thought, somewhere in a cage in the back of his head. A dark voice that rumbled like thunder over the ocean. He hadn't cum yet. Her ass moved with every heaving breath she took. Her cunt was glistening, dripping. He wasn't thinking of much, really. His brain was full of fuck. 
And He Hadn't Fucking Cum Yet. 

Adagio was caught in a rapturous, trembling afterglow. Figuring out exactly what had just happened could wait. Talking could wait. Pride could wait. She was in an ocean of heat and sensitivity. Her tender nerves seemed to sizzle as she adjusted herself, slightly. "Oooohhh...ooookay..." She mumbled, her inner thighs soaked and hot. And then she felt his hand grab her ass, firmly. "Ah...?" She looked over her shoulder, but all she could see was her own hair. 
That firm, strong hand traced the curve of her ass and settled onto her waist, holding her still. "Hm?" Adagio was dazed. She had forgotten herself. But as she felt his still hard cock slap her other ass cheek, she remembered where she was. "Whuh-wait, wait!" She was panicking, out loud now. She looked ahead of her, stretched forward, reached out. 
"You runnin' away from me?" That vice at her waist pulled her back. She could feel his cock sandwiched between her cheeks. She heard him growl. It was different than before. Low. Like an alligator drifting toward her in the water. "You said it, and you meant it. I know you meant it. You told me to cum inside you." His words dripped with intention. 
The chocolate taste of his emotion was different.  It was like thick sea salt. Hot. His finger traced a firm line down along her spine. She yelped as his hand connected hard with her ass again. "Wait..." She mumbled. She reached out, pulled a pillow to her, almost scrambling. She hugged it to her chin. She arched her back. 
"Please...Fuck me." She squeaked. 
"No."
*SLAP*
"I'm going to Breed You!" 

And then he was inside her, all at once. He didn't waste any time. She squealed and shuddered around his cock, and he slammed it into her, her prodigious ass cheeks rolling and wobbling under his assault. It was a burning paradise inside her. She was fucking perfect. He let himself go. At first, he gave her short, brutal strokes, holding her waist as she bit the pillow, but then he fell over her, his hands on either side of her head. He got into the prone bone position and started slowly, roughly scraping his cock inside her, pushing up against her cervix, and grunting over her. He was coated in sweat. He didn't care how long it took. 
He was going to use her perfect fucking pussy to get off, and he was going to get off, Hard. 

Adagio was falling apart. First she was biting the pillow to hold back her squeals, but that only seemed to egg him on, and he started grinding his cock against her walls.  She felt the edge of his tip press insistently against her cervix as he ground deep inside her. A light touch from a heavy blow. 
He was an animal! She could hear him huffing like a bull over her shoulder. And he felt so fucking good! His cock was like a battering ram, trying to knock her walls down, and it was working. Adagio's whimpered into the pillow she was biting.
He couldn't be allowed to know how he was making her feel. He was spoiling her.  
Down below, she was flooding around him, making wet squelching noises as he worked her over. "Listen to you down there...! He grunted. "That's that good pussy sound!" He had been hammering her for some time, but when he started grinding against her, her legs in turn started to quiver. She was already on the edge again. She could feel sweat pooling where his body touched hers. 

"C'mere!" He growled under his breath, and suddenly he was pressing into her back. His arm came around under her chin, the hand of that arm grabbed her shoulder. She felt his other hand grab a fistful of her hair near her scalp. He had her in a chokehold. He was taking in the scent of her hair in deep breaths. She felt his cock pull back. His hips were lifting. 	
"Ah...huh?" Adagio panted. His hips dropped. His cock slammed down into her pussy like a guillotine. It shook her whole body.  She felt that ramming rod slam into her, hilting all the way. She squeaked at first, but as he continued this brutal assault, her squeaks became squeals, then yelps, then screams. 
He was relentless! She had never been pounded so hard in her entire long life. Her eyes were watering again, her teeth were gritted, her face flushed. She could feel his cock tensing again, getting harder--how could it get any harder!? He was speeding up. Her wobbling ass barely cushioned his assault. His grunts turned to desperate barks. He was cumming. So was Adagio. She reached up, squeezed the bicep around her neck. 
"Pleasepleasepleaseplease" she moaned. "Please come inside me...!" He yanked on her hair. His hips slammed into her with the finality of a crashing train. He roared. 
His cock spasmed and flooded her with wet warmth. Adagio closed her eyes and let loose a low, shuddering wail. "Ooohhhahhhh....!" Her whole body quaked. She came again.  
Buck kept coming. His breathing was heavy and wet and labored. His cock pulsed desperately inside her as he unloaded. Adagio smirked through the haze. She rolled her hips upward, against him, grinding him against her inner walls. 	 
"Mmmm~!"  He spurted again, and again, grunting softly while Adagio milked him. His grunts became moans and then whimpers, every spurt coming with a weakening thrust. 
He was spent. He kept twitching inside her as he slid over to the side, against the wall of the couch. His grip on her neck loosened until his beefy arm was nothing but a pillow for her. Adagio reached over and pulled her red tresses up and away from his face. His hot breath was on the back of her head. 
She pulled his other arm around her, draped it over her waist. He was warm. She was floating in a pool of cooling satisfaction. It was a soft summery sweetness, like a pitcher of tea. Her guest, Soulful Serenade tried to pull out, gently. He was still pulsing hard and trying to catch his breath. 
"Noooonononono. You stay there...just...let's just stay like this." She hissed, pressing her ass against his lap. He was mumbling something. 
"You...you're amazing." He said in between light kisses on the back of her head. His big, strong hand took hers, squeezing it gently.
"I know." She said. 
There would be talk, tomorrow. Questions. She would have to decide what to do with him. 
But that was tomorrow. 
Tonight, there were no regrets. 
Tonight was nothing more than what Adagio deserved.
Satisfaction.
> ((Explicit)) Chapter 3 - Maneater (Hall and Oates)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Home was cold, and dark. The surface was so far away as to be mythical. In Home, light was danger. Light was a lure. Up there, it was life. Adagio floated safely in the dark. She could feel the bubbles rising from her gills. They were like a breadcrumb trail that would lead her to shores unknown. She had to ignore them, she knew. The surface was heat, and pain. And fools. Prey, easier and bafflingly more difficult than any small, wriggling thing in Home. 
The rules were different up there, ever-changing like the tide, but the rules of Home were like continental shelves; stony, eternal, glacial in their movements. Imperceptible, they were, but if you spent any time in Home, and that is to stay, if you came to Home and stayed alive, you knew the rules. 
The rules made sense. They were simple as pisswater and vicious as a riptide. Stay out of sight of those that are bigger than you. There were always bigger things down here. Draw your prey in, let them come to you, then strike. 
Remember Fear is your ally, the only other one you had was Dark. Home was vast, but only for those that could swim fast. The slow and the weak would find its depths crushing, suffocating. But those that shined at the art of angling could rise to the top of the food chain, and stay. It was those specimens that referred to it as Home. To all else, it was simply the depths of the ocean. 
Adagio remembered as she floated in the chilling embrace of Home. It was far from warm and firm beds and warm and firm bodies. It was dark and she was feared and so she was Safe. She felt a ripple, turned to look, but saw nothing. 
Bubbles. 
Bubbles? Something had come down. And so Down she looked. Down was the only direction here, really. The strange bubbles rose from down there. Then something grazed her, it fell so close and so fast. She saw the blood, but she barely noticed it. 
She had to know. 
So, she dove and kicked and fluttered along the trail of the bubbles, and then she saw it. 
A harpoon. How could it have come down so far? She approached it, fins out. It was warm. No, it was hot, like a geothermal vent. Red hot, boiling. Bending. 
A cold fear shuddered through Adagio's scales. This thing had intruded into Home. Where could it have come from? It didn't make any sense. She reached. It didn't feel hot. It was pleasant. Soothing, even, a reprieve from the crushing cold of Home. She ran her fins along its firm length. 
It flared, burned. Her fins sizzled. She screamed, tried to pull away, swim to safety in the dark distance of Home, but her fins had melded to it. She howled and twisted and the bubbles flooded out of her and up and away. The harpoon bent and melted,  and a pair of wickedly sharp steel hands unfolded from it, and like a lover's touch, they tenderly enfolded her blazing fins. She was burning. Home could not protect her. The pain was unbearable. The heat. The HEAT!

Adagio Dazzle awoke in a state of disarray. 
She knew, almost instinctually that her hair was a disaster. She was on her couch.
She was breathing heavily, she touched her neck and found that her pulse was racing. She thought she'd felt pain and terror, but the memory of the dream was slipping like dry sand through her fingers. And then it was gone. Why had she gotten all worked up? She stirred and felt an old, familiar soreness between her thighs. "Ah. That's right." She didn't feel a set of arms around her or morning wood prodding her back. Instead, she felt a thin sheet draped over her nude form. Perhaps he was a gentleman after all. 
Was. He was gone. 
"Good." Adagio murmured, rubbing her eyes. Perhaps she had intimidated him or perhaps he was just one of those types to hit and quit, but he was no longer within her sight. That made this quite a bit easier. If he remembered having his energy drained then he would have foolishly tried to kill her in her sleep or would have escaped at his earliest convenience. Adagio recalled distantly that he seemed hesitant and even a bit skittish before she had lured him into her parlor. 
It's likely he simply ran after waking up. But he had been gracious enough to fetch a sheet to throw over her. "How sweet." Adagio stretched and felt that tender, pleasant aching. Her jaw was a bit sore as well. The boy had been a bit of a mouthful. Almost a shame he had to leave. She enjoyed his warmth, and his arms and his...wait. 
Adagio didn't feel tired. For the last five months, she had awoken feeling like she'd blacked out in a bar because of the tepid, sickly emotions of her prey, but not now. 
Now...Adagio picked herself up off the couch, stretched her arms and legs, and quietly strolled to her bathroom. She stood before her standee mirror and pulled her hair into a low-hanging ponytail so she could see past the blood-red mane. 	"Oh...ohhh...!" Adagio turned, contrapposto. Did a little spin. Bent forward, then back. A look of shock was replaced with rapturous joy and then wonder. 
The paunch that had been building for months was eradicated, replaced with a smooth belly with no sag. Speaking of sagging, her breasts had none. They were perky and a bit smaller than they had been last night. Her hips were just as voluptuous as ever, and her ass had taken on its classical, flawless curve and bounce. 
She was shorter and leaner. Her piercing magenta eyes had a slight glow to them, and even her hair had a near ethereal shine. She ran her hands over her face, felt the pure smoothness of her skin, finding not even a single wrinkle or blemish. Every part of her had a slight pleasant plumpness. Besides her ruined makeup, she was gorgeous. 
Adagio Dazzle; back in her prime. 
"I'm...I'm flawless again...he...that night...hm." Adagio muttered. She had choked on the amount of emotional energy Buck had put out the previous night. Love and lust had melted together into a veritable firehose of magical power, and she had drunk her fill when she came on top of him. And then he had just kept going until he was satisfied. Adagio ran her hands tenderly along her mound of venus. The soreness did not stop in her thighs. The man had railed her like an animal, and she had loved every second of it. Adagio saw a blush creep into her cheeks in the mirror. When was the last time a man had treated her to such a fine meal? She genuinely couldn't remember. 
"And you let him escape, Fool." She said, absentmindedly. Adagio's mind snapped from its wandering. That boy, Buck; he was prime prey. He had more magic than she could take all at once; he was bursting with it. She had caught a true prize on her line, and he had gotten away. Adagio could feel her smile falling, breaking into a pout. 
"Doesn't matter at the moment, does it? He must live in this disgusting slum they call a city, so I'll be able to find him again if I'm patient and careful." The thought was cut short. She heard the sound of someone rifling around in the kitchen, then the stove clicking on, and finally a sumptuous musical sting that broke into a heavily processed and reverb-heavy instrumental track. 
Some ballad or somesuch, one of those genres she was unfamiliar with. Likely had 'Wave' in the title. The hunt was still on. He had never left. Adagio could see her eyes flash red in the mirror as she plotted her next move. She would need to get just a bit dressed in a hurry. 

Buck bobbed his head slowly. He'd turned on his phone to listen to some chillhop while he made breakfast. Before then, he'd been amazed at where he had woken up. He had a slight hangover at sunrise, but what else was new? This suite looked hideously expensive. 
The walls were paneled with smokey fucking marble, for one, giving the whole place an almost Parthenon sort of feel. The eastern wall of the living room leading into the kitchen was made of a few impeccably large windows that ran up to the 20-foot ceiling. The curtains were dark blue, as were the seats flanking the dining table next to it, as were the cushions on the stools in front of the breakfast nook. The kitchen was larger than his room back at home, with a wide marble-topped island in the center, a big fuck-off fridge that had some Darth Vader shit on a panel on the main door.  Buck could have sworn that the couch on its own was bigger than his bed, and he saw that there was a TV monitor of improbable size hanging from the wall across from it. And all of that on its own was impressive, but then there were the knickknacks everywhere. 
The suite looked like a museum. A museum in a country with a history of colonization. Buck spied spiritual African masks, probably Namibian by their design, he saw a gleaming bronze shield and gladius, a weather-beaten cutlass, spears, axes, just a whole damn lot of medieval weapons. He saw an impressive shelf filled with records and an honest-to-goodness gramophone next to it. There were also a few impressionist paintings hanging. Buck was well-read, hell, he'd gone to school for an art degree, and so in his educated opinion, Miss Heart Song must have been stupid fucking loaded or very, very good at stealing from the Smithsonian. 
Either way, he did his damndest not to touch a single thing. Strangely, he also noticed there weren't any photographs of Heart Song or anyone else sitting around. 
The place was cold, too. He didn't find the thermostat, but he guessed it was close to 60 degrees considering how his bare feet touching the kitchen tiles sent a shock through him. Buck took a moment to gather himself, and after using a sheet he found in the living room to cover Heart Song,  he had resolved himself to the task of making breakfast.  
Now here, he'd been before. He'd hooked up with a cute girl, and after he'd try to hang around or get a number and they'd blown him off, saying he was 'Real Nice' but they weren't looking for a relationship.  
To be fair, Buck hadn't been looking for a relationship last night, but he had woken up next to the most beautiful woman in the world after having the best night of sex he'd had in...had to be a year and a half, probably longer. And she had been extremely interesting. 
And she was wealthy, apparently. And she made him cum like a fucking fire hose. She was miles out of his league. He knew that, of course, but he was going to put his best effort into getting to know her. 
And so he leaned into Plan A: A Good Ass Breakfast. 	
It was hard to reject a man when your face was stuffed with pancakes and eggs, he reasoned. Buck had rummaged through cabinets that were surprisingly sparse on cooking ingredients and shockingly overfilled with expensive looking wines. It was standing room only on the wine rack by the cupboard, so Buck guessed that made sense, but holy shit, was she planning to drink herself to death or what? This couldn't be a collection for show, it was in the fucking cupboard, so logically--stop. 
Nope. Don't get distracted. You could ask her about that. It could be a conversation starter. There was blessedly enough pancake mix and eggs for two people, and Buck managed to find some other cooking tools and ingredients he'd need. This week was full of small miracles, he guessed. Buck had a recipe saved on his phone for just such an occasion. The eggs would be thoughtless. But the pancakes? He was going to blow her mind, he thought. After something like a half-hour, Buck had prepared a stack of thick, fluffy souffle pancakes. He melted a bit of butter and got some syrup into a bowl and set them on the table. They were maybe just the slightest bit burnt on the bottom, and one had a little angle to it from when he fucked up the flip, but they tasted better than sex when he sampled, so he figured he was golden. 
With the hard part done, Buck started to work the first scramble in the pan when he suddenly felt his arm being lifted like a toll booth barrier. Heart Song was up, and she was in some kind of soft pajamas. A sleeveless lavender colored top and a matching set of adorable shorts hugged her round, glorious ass. Both of them had images of little goldfish on them. Heart Song had slipped between him and the stove and was grinding against him ever so gently. 
After a few seconds of silence, she said "I prefer my eggs sunny side up." in a tone that was more command than suggestion. 
"No problem. This one can be mine." Buck said. "Do you like, uhh..." Do you like drinking? Are you into vintage wine? Were you drunk this whole time? Buck's thoughts raced, but his mouth was blessedly taking a stop to admire some flowers on the side of the track."...pancakes?" Buck said, flipping his scramble onto a plate. 
"Oh, absolutely. Those look great." 
"You can go ahead and dig in, I'll have your eggs in just a little-ah...ah...okay..." In the space between quips, Heart Song had reached out and grabbed his wrists. She pulled his arms around her and sighed contentedly. The embrace pressed her ass more firmly against his crotch. 
"You're warm." 
"Y-Yeah. This place is kind of cold, and so are you. Did you need a blanket-or?" 
"Now why would I need that when I have you to warm me up?" Heart Song purred. She reached up slowly and began to stroke Buck's chin. Was she shorter? She'd been about a head shorter than him, he'd thought but now it seemed like she had to reach a bit to get at his face.

Adagio stood on her toes to reach up and tease her prey. His jawline is pleasantly round, she thought. 
"Did, uh, did you get shorter?" He said. 
"I was wearing platform heels last night. I'm quite petite, as you can see. Go ahead." She said. She turned to paw and pet at his chest. With her permission, he started preparing her eggs. He was quite focused on the task, not looking at her at all. 
"Huh. Well, you were definitely killing it in those heels." 
"Mm. Thank you for noticing. Are you going to ask me?" 
"Ask ya what?" 
"Ask me if you've made a terrible mistake, if I'm younger than I look?" 
"Uh...No? You seemed pretty...mature and in control last night. There's no doubt in my mind that you're a grown-ass woman who knows what she wants." 
"Oh, you're no fun! You wouldn't believe how often I get carded at clubs. That's the reason why I tend to dress up a bit, it usually helps." 
"Ah, well y'are pretty small." 
"Is that going to be a problem for you, daddy~?" Adagio purred. She leaned up and licked the underside of his chin. He still tasted like sweat. And a dash of anxiety. And that bit of spice in the back. Lust. He was trying to hide it, but it flared as she pressed her chest against him. 
"Woah-ho, that's uh, wow. New bit, huh? Last night you had the whole sexy librarian thing going, and now it's this? I, uh, that's a curveball, Ms. Heart Song." A warm, dark blush crept into his purple cheeks. Adagio felt powerful, immortal, and she loved to play with her food. He responded well to teasing, and she doubted there was anything in him that would resist her advances. 
"Oh? And how do you feel about curveballs, Mr. Serenade? Am I bit too wild for you?" Adagio said. She kneaded at his chest, giving him a cattish grin. His pectoral muscles were firm. He looked down at her then and chuckled. 
"I was just about to say that I've never seen curves like those, but I'm sure you get that a lot. You're a god damn knockout." Love, then. Sweet chocolate. And lust. Cinnamon and spice. A flame flickered in his eye for a ghost of a second. Adagio's grin became devilish. She was going to have some fun with this one. 
"Oh, you're sweet and smooth when you're sober. That's interesting." 
"Was I not when I was drunk?" 
"No, no, just...hm, easier."  
"Easier?" 
"Adorable. Eager. I think that if you had gotten into my wine before I woke up, I would be bent over the breakfast nook right now." Adagio said. She smirked matter-of-factly. She tasted his nervousness. Perhaps a bit of tangy, acidic shame just below the surface. 
"Ah, well, that's...well, if I did that, your breakfast would get cold, and you'd never forgive me for that, now would ya?" He said. He took a step back from Adagio and plated a flipped egg. "There you go; sunny side up. Now, how about you tell me if this breakfast is as good as it smells?" He said. He stepped around the nook and pulled a stool out for Adagio. 
He's covering something, she thought as she graciously sat on the stool. Overdoing it with the gentleman routine. What is he hiding? Buck passed Adagio a plate and waited expectantly for her to take a bite. Adagio gave a polite grin, then tore off a bit of fluffy pancake and popped it into her mouth. 
It was like she'd taken a bite out of an orgy. It took a great deal of self-control to not begin shoveling this treat into her gob, but she couldn't hold back her small, contented moans as she tucked in. "S'an old recipe my sister perfected back in the day. Good, right?" He said. Adagio tasted a thin, misty flavor of hope in him. She held a finger up to his lips and savored the cake in her mouth. She closed her eyes. And coughed. He slid a glass of milk to her and nodded. She drank almost half of it in an instant. 
"Ahh...I must say, you're full of surprises, Mr. Soulful Serenade. Truly a treat!" 
"Ya mean the Pancakes, the Sex or Me?" He said, blinking. 
"...Yes." Adagio said, patiently. 
"It's Purple Prose, by the way." 
"What's that, dear?" Adagio said. She had taken another slice of heaven into her mouth and was savoring it. 
"My name. It's Purple Prose, but my friends just call me Buck." He said, almost sheepishly. Adagio took a hasty sip of milk before she could spit take. 
"They call you 'Buck'? After your performance last night, I certainly believe that. Tell me, how many of your friends have you slept with, 'Buck'~?" 
"I, uh, I don't really tally that kinda thing." Another flash of shame. Interesting, if a bit concerning. He hadn't answered the question.
"It's not what you think, anyway. I got the nickname when I was just a little itty-bitty." 
"Oh?" Indulge him.
"Yeah, get this, when I was about four years old, I was making a castle in the sand box at the neighborhood playground, right? And these kids, had to have been a coupla' years older, were rough-housin' nearby. Well, one of them rolls into the sandbox and decides to jump on my back. According to my Mom, I got on all fours and started bucking and prancing like a donkey, like it was the most natural thing in the world, and the kid got thrown off, clear outta the sandbox and onto the wood chips! She said to 'Ease off there, Buck!' and laughed and the name just kinda stuck on me. Pretty wild, huh?" 
Adagio was suddenly struck with the image of this full-grown man with a bunch of toddlers on his back, undulating and neighing like a deranged pony until the children were sent flying into the air. Incidentally, Adagio threw her head back and got caught in a laughing fit. Buck joined in, yucking it up. 
"Yeah, see? Nothin' perverted at all!" 
"Yes, well, I happen to know for a fact that you live up to your name. In spades, Buck." Adagio said, reaching across the nook and drawing a little circle on the back of his hand with her nail. 
"So, uh, did you sleep well?" He said, changing the subject. He's dodging. He's scared of you. Adagio took the opening to let out a cute, sheepish yawn with a hand before her mouth. A classic maneuver. She tasted the sweet marshmallow flavor of Buck's affection for her rise.
"I did, I slept wonderfully in your arms, Buck. I remember having an odd dream, but none of the details." 
"Huh. That's funny. I dreamed about some spooky Dagon shit. I was falling into like, a boiling ocean, and then into this yeeeuuuuge vertical vagina mouth ringed with these dagger teeth and it sounded like-" Buck immediately fell into a dramatic reenactment, pantomiming the gnashing teeth with his hands. He stopped short. "-well anyway, it was some big spooks. Not sure why the hell I'd dream about something like that. Sorry, am I creeping you out?"  

Buck tilted his head at Adagio, her expression like that of a cow looking at an oncoming train. She snapped out of it and raised an eyebrow at him. "You are...quite the storyteller, aren't you, Buck?" Huh. She'd said his name like three times, now. She was trying to remember it. That's a good sign, right? Had to be. Also, she seemed, like, horny as all fuck, and that alone was like a breath of fresh air. Dumbass, she asked you a question. 
"Oh, well, I am a writer. Think I mentioned that last night. Well, I call myself a writer, and sometimes I get paid to do it. To write, that is, I don't do it full time exactly, but I'd like to!" Buck rambled. Focus, man, don't sperg out on her. She's taking an interest in you, and it's not too late to screw it all up. "Articles, 's what I do. But I've always preferred fiction.		 
"I had you figured for a bard. You must have an endless amount of anecdotes to tell." Heart Song said. She had an elbow on the counter, resting her cheek on a hand as she quietly ate her breakfast. 
"Oh yeah, I've led a needlessly interesting life." Buck chuckled and finally began to eat as well. The eggs could have used more salt. Damn. "Say, uh, could ya tell me Your name, Heart Song?" He saw her freeze for a moment. Her eyes flickered away to do some mental calculations. Uh oh. 
"...Heart Song will do just fine for now, Buck. I don't know if I exactly trust you enough with my name; you wouldn't believe the kinds of ne'er-do-wells that you attract when you're like me." 
"Oof. I can imagine. Wouldn't want to get doxxed, or stalked....I get it." He did. Get it, that is. Writing articles for a living meant presenting strong opinions on the internet, and that meant hate; random, constant hate from seemingly nowhere. Coincidentally, Buck had started operating under a VPN after a few months' publication, and that had done his heart good. 
"Heart Song it is, then. It's a beautiful name, anyway. A good choice. I saw you had an impressive music collection. D'ya sing?" Buck pointed with his chin toward the living room. A sour look crossed Heart Song's face as a pregnant pause settled in. Oops. 
"...yes, I did, as a matter of fact, but I haven't in a long time." 
"Don't wanna talk about it?" Buck said, genuine concern in his voice. Don't be a dick. Tiptoe, Buck. 
"Do you typically make breakfast for the people that you lay with, Buck?" She said. Buck choked a bit at that. He could see a bit of tooth in Heart Song's grin. 
"Ah, only the ones that I really wanna talk to, after. You're really interestin', Heart Song, and I'd be an idiot to hit it and quit it." He had been smiling, then he frowned. "I..." 
"Yes, Buck?" 
Buck took a deep breath. Cards on the table. "Look, I really like you, Heart Song, a whole lot. And I'd like to get to know you better. 
"Well, aren't you sweet? Why don't you tell me what it is you like about me so much?" Buck took a moment and then a little grin crept onto his face. 
"Hmm...I will. But tell me, Heart Song, d'ya like me?" 
"I wouldn't mind if you hung around for a little while, Buck. You're very amusing." 
"Am I?" 
"Yes. You have a...unique perspective, and in the night I've know you you've failed at any point to be boring." Heart Song said. She'd polished off her breakfast. Buck hadn't even seen her do it. It was those eyes, must be. He felt a little bit like he was walking off a path in a forest when he looked at them. 
"I see." Buck said. He collected the dishes, placed them in the sink.  

Adagio stared at Buck's back as he set the dishes to soak. He was wearing an undershirt and the jeans he'd worn the previous night. She hadn't exactly been paying attention before, but the man was well built. His shoulders were wide and sharp, and she could see his back muscles working as he reached to turn off the water. He had a bubble butt, but she had felt it last night; it was toned, and she could make out the clear curve of his leg muscles in the tight jeans. He was on the paunchy side, but he was made of muscle; Strong in the classical sense.
A body built through years of labor, no doubt. He was a hard worker. 
He'd been working hard this morning to impress her, she could tell. And he was anxious. Excited. She could taste it. If she was going to secure him as a proper food source, she'd have to meticulously break down his walls, make him comfortable with her and appeal to him. 
He seemed to like a good conversation, he seemed to enjoy a bit of sass, he liked music and writing, and most importantly, he was enamored with the curves of her body. He was the straightforward type to be sure. Easy to play with. 
She would have to reel him slowly and gently, and he'd come to her, she was certain. With this battle plan in mind, Adagio raised her arms over her head, pushed out her chest, and let loose another tactical kitten-esque yawn. Buck looked at her over his shoulder and almost dropped a plate. Adagio hadn't bothered to put on a bra, and, well, it was cold in here. She preferred it that way. 
"Well, Buck, this has been a lovely breakfast. I hope I'm not cutting into your time?" 
"No, no, I'm open all morning. I could hang for a bit, if you'd have me." She snatched the meaning between his words. 'It could all wait, for you.' That sweet cotton candy taste was coming off him. He was being genuine. 
Adagio rolled her neck, slowly. She still felt sticky and disgusting after last night's escapades. A bath was definitely in order, but she couldn't risk letting him see the dye bleed out of her hair. She decided to play with him a little, then give him her contact information before sending him on his way. A pleasant morning, in other words. It had been a while since she'd had a pleasant morning. Buck was walking over to her, drying his hands with the dishtowel. 
"You uh, didn't answer my question, Heart Song." He said. 
"Oh?" Adagio rolled her stiff shoulders. She winced. 
"I asked if you like me. And uh, would you like to get to know Me better?" Timid. Hope and anxiety mixed together. It wasn't an especially good flavor. Salty and sweet. 
"That depends on a few things, Buck. Could I ask you for a favor?" 
"Yeah?" 
"I know from last night that your fingers are strong and tender. Would you mind giving me a little massage?" She reached back and moved her hair out of the way, showing off the back of her neck and shoulders to him. She looked back at him and smiled, sweetly. A classic maneuver. 
"Oh. Oh! Sure." Buck said. There we are. Back to that sweet, chocolatey affection. Adagio sipped that energy coming off him like a fine wine. Or chocolate milk, as it were. Buck stepped behind her and reached out with his hands. Adagio snatched them out of the air beside her and gave him a sharp grin. She squeezed his forearms. My, he was a strong one, wasn't he? 
"My shoulders, dear." She purred. A twist on a classic. 
"Oh, I wasn't uh, I was going for your shoulders, I didn't mean to look like-" Adagio laughed. She looked up at Buck and winked at him. 
"Would you relax? I'm just having a little fun." Buck was blushing, of course. That heat was emerging, slowly. 
"Ah. Well." Buck said. He didn't laugh. His hands landed on her shoulders.  She saw his own shoulders drop and relax. 
"You can touch me wherever you want. Buck." She put a hard 'K' on the consonant, fixing him with a smoldering look. Another twist, this time of the knife. She went back to staring innocently across the breakfast nook. She heard him let out a slow breath, and whisper "holy shit" under his breath. She had him. She felt his fingers squeeze her shoulders. He rolled them slowly in his palms. Then he slid those big, strong paws up to her trapezius muscles. She hissed. 
"Tender." She said. 
"Stressed?" He asked. 
"Tired." She said. 
"Mm. I know about tired. Here." He pinched her trapezius gently and began kneading it like dough. Adagio gave a little sigh and let her shoulders slump. "There you go...I've got you." Buck said, a little over a whisper. He was working methodically, his hands felt experienced and careful. He was treating her tenderly. She was beginning to like him. 
"You can be a bit rougher, Buck. I'm not made of glass." 
"Gotcha." He let go and then began to knead into her with his knuckles, dragging them back and forth over the tender muscles. 
"Oooohhhh...that's it...you've done this before." Adagio purred. 
"Ah, I'm an old hand at this. You startin' to feel a little better?" 
"Mm. Yeeeessss....Do you think you could attack my neck, next?" She felt, rather than saw him blush. 
"Sure." He said. He removed a hand, placing it on the counter by her side, and began to massage the back of her neck, then the sides, with his thumb and forefinger. 
"Nnnmmm...that's good~," Adagio said. It was half a moan and half a song. His fingers were firm as he dug into her neck. She reached over to slide a hand over his on the counter. She laced her fingers in his. He lifted her hand and kissed it gently, then pulled his own hand back. 
"Alright...relax." He said. Then he grabbed Adagio's head on either side and jerked it left, then right. She heard it crack and tension flooded out of her. Then Buck gently rolled her head and Adagio let out a deep sigh. She could feel him brushing against her ass, but she was too relaxed to care much. Adagio closed her eyes and let herself float on the sweet adoration that was rolling off him. His fingers were in her hair, scratching and massaging at her scalp. She let out another dreamy sigh. There was nothing for it. She would have to keep this one. 
"You good?" Buck said, taking his hands away from her head. "Any better?" 
"Heavenly. Don't stop." 
"Huh?" Adagio had grabbed his wrists. She wasn't looking at him, but she sat up straight and leaned against him. 
"Don't stop touching me, Buck." A whispered command. She tasted the rising heat as he began to run his hands along her shoulders and her biceps. "Good boy~," Adagio said. Buck sucked on his teeth. 
"I'm not lookin' to be housebroken, Heart Song." 
"Yes, you've clearly been trained quite well, already." Buck stopped massaging. He was still. 
"Look, I...I don't like bein' talked to like that. I'm a grown man, Heart Song, not a puppy." Alarm bells rang in Adagio's head. She tasted acrid shame in her throat, strong now. He'd been hurt before, certainly, and it was something to do with pampering. She would have to be more careful. 
"I'm sorry. You're right. You aren't a pet for me to play with. You're a big, strong man, and I should treat you as such. I suppose I'm just being a little distant." Adagio said, softly. Just as softly, her fingers trailed up one of his arms. 
"...I get it." 
"Do you, now?" Adagio said, looking up at him. A look of disgusting, touching concern had taken over the man's face. "You're being evasive, Heart Song, and not because you're scared of me." 
"Certainly not, Buck." 
"You're being careful because you don't wanna get hurt. Emotionally. You don't want me to be another person that comes and does as he pleases and makes a mess, and leaves. I get it, trust me, I do. But I'm not like that, I promise." Wet warmth. A taste like salty tears. Was he crying? "I'm not like that." He said. One of his big meaty hands was on her shoulder again. His touch was feather-light. He really did think she was made of glass. 
"Come here." Adagio gave him a tender smile, then reached up and pulled on the back of his head. She kissed the corner of his mouth. "I like you, Buck. Because you're cute, and sweet, and sincere." She squeezed his arm and pulled him into a kiss. She would remember this kiss. She had never kissed a man with such care and tenderness. He gasped a bit as their lips touched, then he gently reached up to cup her throat with his hand. She tasted his love bubbling over. She also felt that something from before pressing against the small of her back. There was a warmth of her own creeping over her skin. 
He pulled away from the kiss and looked down at her. She could feel his heart racing in his chest. He was hesitating; waiting for permission. His eyes were gold and shiny. Beautiful, even with the bags under them. He hadn't been ready for that. Good. Adagio pulled on his arm and guided his hand to gently cup her breast. She smiled sweetly at him, raised an eyebrow. He chuckled. Chocolate again, and spice. 
She had him. He kissed her forehead. "You know, I think ya like me for another reason." Buck growled. Adagio went back to looking across the counter, a knowing smile creeping onto her face. 
"I swear I have no clue what it is you're inferring, Buck~," She said. She shifted slightly in her seat, pressing just a bit more of her ass against him. Buck's other hand squeezed her shoulder, then began to drift gently to her back. 
"Remember what I said last night? 'bout imperfections?" Buck said. He scratched slowly at her back, his hand falling slowly, tracing along her spine. 
"Nnnmmm...why yes. I think you said you were fond of imperfections, isn't that right?" Adagio said. She bit her lip. "You said that there was beauty in them." She was expecting him to make a joke about her personality, again. 
"Well...if fine china had a crack like this, it'd be filled with gold." Buck chuckled and grabbed her ass with one hand. Adagio squeaked as he groped her. His hand wandered, slowly. "Fuck...fuck, you're beautiful..." He whispered. 
"Oh? Just noticing now?" She giggled. 
"Can't help but notice...mm!" Buck said. He sounded a bit distant. Lost in thought. His hand squeezed and kneaded and rolled around her tender bottom. Meanwhile, the hand she was holding had found her nipple, and it was pinching it gently. Pulling on it beneath her pajama top. Fuck, but he did know what to do with those hands. "I think you like me because I've shown that I can take care of a woman, Heart Song. I think you like me because I admire you the way you deserve to be admired." Buck said.  
*SLAP* 
His hand fell onto her ass with force. Adagio jumped and let out a moan. An involuntary moan. She sucked in her lips for a moment. She quivered. 
"Ooh, she likes that, don't she?" Buck murmured. 
*SLAP* 
"Ahhn~!" Another smack to the rear, in the exact same spot. Adagio felt her face flush. She hadn't meant to-
*SLAP* 
Another slap, another squeal from Adagio. She felt his fingers trace along the spot that he'd smacked. It was sensitive now. Adagio shuddered at the sensation of his feathery touches brushing along the sore spot. Now it was her heart that was racing. Buck's hand fondled her nipple, rubbing it tenderly, his other hand caressing her ass through the pajama bottoms. 
He paused. 
Adagio blinked. Why had he stopped? 
"Heart Song I...before anything else, I need to explain. Just listen." 
"Mm." Adagio hummed. 
"I got this thing called hypersexuality. Sex is...important to me. Critical, even." 
"...I see." 
"But I want you to know that you aren't obligated to cater to that, just-" 
"If I happen to want to keep you, I need to be considerate of your needs." Adagio looked up at him again. She ground her ass on him with a lecherous grin.
"Uh, y-yeah...do you...do you wanna...keep me?" Hope. She tasted it. A mist of sweet candy. Adagio swirled a lock of her hair around a finger.
"I haven't decided yet. But finishing what you started down there would be fine encouragement, I think." She purred. She pushed him away, then got up from the stool, leaning over the kitchen nook. Her pajamas, already wet at this point, she slid down her hips. 

She was glistening down there. Her ass was perfectly shaped. Round, wide, thick, and smooth; fucking glorious. Like it was made for him to admire. Her puffy lips were squeezed by her thick thighs. She wiggled her ass at him slowly, giving him a look over her shoulder. He could see the red mark where he'd slapped her cheek. He could feel himself salivating. 
But, he thought, he had to take it slow. Warm her up properly. He ran his hands along her cheeks, groping and squeezing them, and began planting tender kisses on the red mark. She was unbelievably soft. She cooed and shivered at that, so he began to lightly drag his tongue along it, then suckle on the spot as his hands wandered. 
"Ahhh...mmm..." Heart Song moaned under his ministrations. His hand traced along her inner thigh as his lips wandered toward the crack of her ass. He planted a kiss and a little nibble right where her cheeks split. His fingers started to tenderly fondle her lips. His fingertips found her wet entrance, then traced down along the valley until it found its destination. His tongue tickled her puckering asshole as his fingers caressed her clitoris. She moaned, and he felt the vibration in his mouth. 
His other hand slapped her opposite cheek. Gently, this time. 
"Sssss...harder." 
"Mm?" Buck was tracing his tongue along her tender ring. 
"Hit me harder...!" Heart Song hissed. Buck obliged. 
*SLAP* 
Her ass jiggled in his face as the blow landed. She moaned, louder that time. Rough. She liked it rough. Got it. Buck dug his tongue into her, pulling her cheeks apart to get better access. He slipped his thumb into her hot, wet entrance, and continued to lavish attention on her clitoris with his index finger. He pinched and fondled down there, gently searching for her G spot. It didn't take him long. He felt her tensing around his tongue as he prodded her from two angles. 
"Mmm...yes, adore me..." She moaned.  He did. He dug his tongue in deeper and spun it in wide circles, trying to open her up more. Meanwhile, he squeezed her clitoris at the root and the tip, rolling his digits against it. He had begun to slide his hand back and forth, along the beat of the music that was playing in the kitchen. It was slow and sweet and tender. 
He hummed softly as he tasted her, and the vibrations on his tongue made her shudder and moan even more. To Buck, she was a fucking buffet. He licked her faster, more insistently as he pistoned his fingers into her lower lips. He gained speed slowly, then as she started to quiver and build-up, he pulled back. 
"Oooh, you tease!" Heart Song said. Then Buck had stopped licking her and stood up. His middle finger joined with his index, and together they rolled and pressed against Heart Song's clitoris while his thumb continued its work at the root. 
"Hm? What was that?" Buck said. He placed a hand on the counter and leaned over her. His fingers picked up more speed. 
"You're...mm...you're...ahn~you're teasing me!" Heart Song was trying to look away. Buck smirked and took her chin in his free hand, making her face forward.  She was bright red, biting her lip. 
"Am I, now?" His thumb plunged into her harder. She squeaked in a shaky voice. 
"Y-yes! Yessss...you are...!" She moaned. He pinched inside her again. 
"And? Issat a problem? ...you want me to stop?" Buck said. He planted a delicate kiss on her cheek, then pulled his thumb free of her. His fingers were soaked. He held them up to her. "Somehow, I don't think you do." Buck growled. Heart Song glared at him, hatefully. "Oooh...fuck, that's a good look for you." Buck said.
Heart Song grabbed his undershirt at the chest. She glared into his eyes. "Finish what you started, Buck." It was low and husky, the way she said it. Another command. 
"Yes ma'am." Buck said with a smirk. He moved behind her, gently slid his thumb back in, and went back to eating ass. First, he nibbled at her cheek, then stuck his tongue just inside her tight little hole and licked furiously. 
"Mmmn! Good boy...good boy-AH!" Heart Song hummed.
*SLAP*
After a few seconds of this, Buck pulled out an old favorite. He tensed his wrist and forearm muscles hard so that his whole hand vibrated. This technique had won him a few mario party minigames back in the day and was also pretty damn good at mimicking a vibe. He pressed and rolled his fingers against Heart Song's clitoris as his hand vibrated, and began to rub his thumb back and forth inside her while he voraciously ate her ass.
"Ahhh...? Aaaannn....AHH! Buck, BUCK!!!" Adagio's moans became screams. Buck kept at it, humming and growling as his tongue explored her asshole, his hand moving like a blur. Adagio climaxed with a haunting melodic shriek that hurt Buck's ears. Her whole body shook, and Buck kept rubbing her clit as she rode it out. Her hips bucked back against his fingers as she screamed and quivered. 

Adagio had stopped thinking for a bit there. He had surprised her with his technique. The man had experience, no doubt and he had taken control as if it were a simple matter of course. In the span of a bit of foreplay, he had gone from worshipping her ass to owning it, and now as Adagio was coming down, panting and shivering, she realized she may be in a little bit of trouble with this one. He was planting little kisses along her cheeks, running his hands all over them, bathing her in affection. "Mmmnnn...Buck, who's the little devil that taught you how to do that...? I have to thank her." Adagio mewled. 
"That's...that's experience. I said sex was important to me, didn't I? Wouldn't make much sense if I was bad at it." Buck said, plainly. He ran from that question with his arms flailing. Interesting. Adagio's frazzled nerves were coming back to her. Her legs were quivering. "You okay, Heart Song?" Buck said. His hand was petting sweet circles on her abused ass. 
"Ooh, Buck. I'm far more than that." Adagio said. She felt invincible. The energy he was bathing her in was invigorating. She was so hot, she felt like she was melting into a pool of chocolate. 
"I'll say. What was that shriek, like, like a Mezzo C5? Good god, woman." Oh, wonderful. He was getting cocky, now. Spicy. She was beginning to hate that she craved him. But no, he was a simple man, wasn't he? She simply had to remind him who was in charge. 
"Buck...take a step back." Adagio said. Buck let go of her and gave her some space. Adagio took her time slowly pulling her pajama top over her head, tossing it to the floor. She kicked off her bottoms as well, then placed her hands on the stool, leaning over it and presenting her ass to Buck. "You've been very sweet to me, Buck. But I know you won't be satisfied with simply hearing me sing. Come here and use me." He liked it simple and direct, she knew that by now. 
Buck wordlessly removed his jeans, then he stepped behind her, his hands rubbing her delicately arched back. "Are you sure, I mean, aren't you still sensitive?" Buck said. 
"Don't you underestimate me, Mr. Purple Prose. I'm a big girl. I can take you." 
Buck didn't say anything in response. He lightly slapped her ass cheek with his cock, began to lightly prod at her back entrance with his fingers. Adagio shuddered and looked back. "That's...! Anal is off limits for now, sweetheart." She said. 
"Ah, fair enough." Buck smiled. Adagio could feel a distant sullenness in him. He truly was an ass man after all. She had a carrot to dangle. 
"That isn't to say that I won't ever let you...just...you'll have to impress me, first." 
"Impress you?  I haven't already?" Buck said. There was adorable indignation in his voice. Adagio giggled and looked back at him, defiant. 
"Do you really think you have?" Her voice was the edge of a razor as she surgically sliced at his pride. 
"Is that a challenge, Miss Heart Song?" He accented the word challenge. Adagio couldn't tell if that was intentionally silly or if it was his actual accent. She grinned at him. 
"No. I'M the challenge. Now shut up and fuck me, Buck." Adagio closed her eyes as he penetrated her. She was making a map of his cock in her mind. It was thicker in the middle than at the base. It was long enough to press against her cervix when fully hilted. It curved upward a little and twisted the slightest bit to the left. It felt so fucking good. 
Buck didn't waste any time getting up to speed, but this time Adagio would not be caught off guard. She had to stand on her tiptoes to get the right elevation, but once they were properly lined up, she moaned and threw her ass back at him. She caught up to his rhythm, and the wet slapping sounds of their lovemaking filled the suite once again. 
This was so much more manageable than the huffing bull that had ravaged her last night. What was different? He couldn't have been that drunk, last night. Was he holding back now? How sweet. Adagio wanted to roll her eyes, but then they rolled up into her head instead. 
Buck had gently grasped her neck and was pressing down on her carotid arteries with his thumb and forefinger. Oh yes, he definitely had some useful experience. Adagio's head felt light and tingly as Buck picked up the pace. He wouldn't last, she thought. 
She squeezed him with her lower lips and mewled at him over her shoulder. Buck's other arm had wrapped around her stomach. He held her delicately, seemingly afraid to squeeze her. His muscles were tensing, both inside her and out, and after a much shorter duration than Adagio expected, Buck shuddered and gasped and came inside her. 
Instead of throwing her head back to moan as she felt thick strands of cum shooting into her, Adagio lowered her head and hummed softly. She wiggled her hips against him, just as she did last night, wringing him out. His emotion surrounded her. Lust. Love. Fear. Lust. Lust. Shame. Love. It was a strange combination of flavors. Adagio wasn't sure how to assess it. But it didn't matter. She would have plenty of time to figure him out. She was certain that he would keep coming back if it meant getting to be inside her. 
"Ahh...oooh, Buck, but you do come a lot, don't you?" Adagio said in a breathy tone. 
"I usually don't...not that much and not that hard. Maybe you're just special. A cut above." 
"Just one?" Adagio said. A double entendre. She wiggled her ass around playfully, shuffling him inside her filled snatch. Buck gasped and whined for a moment. 
"Ah ah ahh...still, still sensitive...ahh...!" He simpered, pulling out. He had a sheen of sweat on him. 
"Oh, you've gone and gotten dirty again. Would you like to wash up before you leave?" Adagio said, standing up straight and letting him fall out of her. 
"Before I leave?" 
"Yes, Buck. As much as I would love to spend all day with you inside me, I have my own affairs to take care of, least of which is the matter of this unruly hair." Adagio said. She traced a finger on Buck's chest. She licked the sweat from her fingertip, slowly, never breaking eye contact. 
"I...see." Adagio felt a cold rain patter onto her. Sad was comforting, sour, and persistent. Adagio was instantly upset at how familiar sad was to her. She frowned. 
"That isn't to say you aren't welcome back, Buck." 
"Yeah?" 
"I meant what I said." Adagio said. She felt him get intensely, graciously happy. His face didn't show it much, but he couldn't hide from her. He tasted like sweet lemonade in that moment. 
"When will I see you again, Buck?" Adagio said. 
"Oh, well, my schedule is pretty weird. I'm off on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, also Saturdays." 
"So you're working today?" 
"Yeah. The night shift." 
"Ah, so you're a night person? Excellent. I am as well." Adagio smirked. 
"What, uh, what's your schedule like?" Adagio frowned. Her schedule just lately, or perhaps for a while, was draining the horny out of morons in back alleys, feeling sorry for herself until she fell asleep and then sneering through her hangover the following morning. Alcohol was frequently involved. 
"...you didn't answer my question, Buck. When will I see you again?" 
"Uh. Hm. Tuesday? I play games with my friends on Tuesday nights, but until then, I'll be all yours." 
"Oh? Is that a promise?" 
"...If you'll have me." Anxiety. It was sticky and savory and not especially pleasant. This wouldn't do. Adagio grabbed Buck by the front of his tank top, pulled him to her, and kissed him. Open mouth, tongue. She rubbed his chest tenderly as she pulled away. 
"Do you want to have me?" Adagio growled.  Buck blinked, his face flushed. 
"Uh...didn't I just have you a minute ago?" 
"Cheeky." Adagio said. Buck smiled. 
"I'll go get washed up." He said. Adagio watched him turn the corner, heard him close the bathroom door. Heard a muffled "Wow" as he stepped inside and turned on the shower. Adagio's shoulders slumped and she sank down onto the stool behind her. She blew a strand of hair out of her face. 
"He's going to be a challenge." She muttered. She felt exhaustion crawling up her back. She was still sore down below. That feeling was warm and pleasant, as was the feeling of his essence dribbling slowly down her inner thigh.

After Buck got over how opulent the bathroom was, he took off his clothes and glasses and took a brief shower. He turned it up to a near scalding heat. He still wasn't sure if he was dreaming or not. It sure felt like he'd gotten super laid the previous night and this morning, and that the woman was impossibly fucking gorgeous and somehow into him. But that wasn't right. This was Buck's life. And in Buck's life, this kind of shit didn't happen. I mean, getting honestly laid happened sometimes...not for a while, but sometimes! 
But not with women like this. She was so out of his league she was playing a completely different game. God, she was so FUCKING HOT. Buck thought this as he stepped into the steaming shower. The water was fucking hot too, but it hadn't given him this rager of a boner. No, that was her. He had been thinking about her eyes. 
He had to collect himself. Be a big boy and be cool about this. This was a good thing. No reason to overthink it...but holy shit, she seemed like she was fucking loaded. When he asked about her schedule, she didn't say anything. Trust fund? Stocks? ...Landlord? Fuck, he hoped she wasn't a landlord. Gross. Either way, holy shit. He had woken up with his kidney still inside him, so this wasn't a scam. 
Was it? 
What if this was actually a prank? Or some fucked up game that wealthy people like to play? He would probably leave this place and never see her again. He guessed that wouldn't be so bad. He'd gotten his dick wet, after all, and she'd been AMAZING, and no one could take the memories away from him. 
Could they? Did he pass out a bit before the second round last night? Shit. He had been about to cum, and then she came on top of him and he'd shut his eyes. Had he? He couldn't remember. Didn't matter. He had cum his brains out after that. And then just now. The woman was insatiable. At least as horny as he was most of the time. That was a miracle on its own. 
Buck was monologuing in his own head as he washed the smell of sex off. He checked his phone after a bit and realized he had been showering for an amount of time that would almost be funny if it wasn't rude. He was using all of her hot water. So, he got out, shut it off, dressed quickly. She wasn't in the living room when he stepped out. 
"I'm going!" He said. 
"Tell me when you're coming, darling~" Her voice carried from inside her closet, he guessed. Buck's face scrunched in disgust. She'd called him darling.
Buck left then. Once he hit the ground floor, he was blown away by the discovery that this was that big fuck-off skyscraper about a district over from his place. 
"Holy shit, wait, this is where Sunburst lives!" Buck said to himself. Sunburst had a trust fund, but he still had to work part-time for spending money, because the rent was nuts. Sunburst was also Buck's best friend. Buck meditated on this on the way back home. "She's got to be loaded. That suite was even nicer than Sunbursts'..." 
Buck's hand was on the handle of his apartment when he realized that he had left his glasses on the bathroom sink.  
"Ah, piss." 

"Piss, piss, piss this stuff is stubborn." Adagio tutted in her bathtub. She was trying to wash the fresh dye out of her hair. She had an appointment later in the day, and she knew that fire engine red hair would be taken as a similarly red flag in the interview. Snooty office workers; she knew the type. But the dye was surprisingly persistent, and she had to work patiently to wash the sheer volume of it out of her flowing, curly locks. It was taking forever.
Time was a funny thing to an immortal siren. She liked to laugh at Time as she danced circles around it. Sometimes Time would get her back, though. Like now. Had she been washing her hair for 15 minutes or 25? 
After what seemed an endless ocean of time, she popped out of the shower to look in the steamy mirror and saw that she had finally worked the red out of her glorious orange hair. The strands shone in the skylight's gaze like the scales of a koi fish. She was beautiful. She had always been beautiful, but now she was in her prime again. 
She felt power tingling on the tip of her tongue, the tips of her fingers, and other sensitive tips of things. This was because of Him. He was a living tidal wave of magical energy. If she kept him chained up and properly maintained, she could use him to take over the world. 
Well, perhaps not. Empires never lasted, after all. Perhaps just a portion of this city. Or she could take him on the road and find a lovely little village. One near a beach. Yes, definitely. She could start all over, she didn't need Aria or Sonata; all she needed to do was get that boy in a net and never let him go. Perhaps she'd cancel her appointment. She wanted to spend the whole day just rubbing her skin and feeling how smooth it was. 
She filled the tub, transitioning from warm shower to nice cool bath. Adagio soaked, dragging a comb through her hair. This was her meditation. But no, she couldn't count on Buck's power source. Even if she kept him hypnotized constantly, he would struggle against being used as a battery. And hypnotized humans would always give diminishing returns when it came to magical energy. 
Hard to be filled with emotional power when you were stricken with temporary catatonia. He'd just become dead weight over time, and then she'd have to find someplace to dump him. An asylum if she was feeling charitable. Oh, but she liked him! He was warm! She would have to get her hooks into him slowly, over a short period of time, perhaps a couple of years. 
If she could get him properly addicted to her, he'd do anything for her. She could tell that just by looking at him. And he was so sweet and hesitant. She'd have to break him of that if she meant to tolerate him during her conquest. Adagio frowned. She stood and reached for a towel. 
"He's going to be so much work." She grumbled. She wasn't ready to want him so badly. 
"But worth it." 
Just as the words left her lips, the handle of the bathroom door turned.

Buck hadn't said anything. He'd been thinking too hard. The door to Heart Song's suite was unexpectedly unlocked so he hadn't had to knock. He assumed Heart Song was in her room, so he leaned on a habit he'd thought he'd lost and moved silently across the suite so as not to disturb her. His glasses were on the bathroom sink, he was sure, and his vision was blurry. He could see light coming from under the bathroom door. Ah, she was bathing. Well, he'd just pop his head in, grab his glasses and apologize for bothering her. Maybe say something about her ass. He hoped he would get to see her ass again. 
He opened the door, blindly grabbed his glasses. "Hey, sorry to bust in on you, but I forgot my glasses, and I kind of need them to exist, so-" Buck wiped the steam from his glasses as he spoke. 
"Hm?" He heard Heart Song murmur in surprise. 
Buck had gone stock still. 
He saw her. 
She was like venus rising from the ocean. She was truly the most gorgeous woman he'd ever seen; that hadn't changed. Her hair reached down to her ankles. Her hair. It was kinky and curly and wavy at the same time. It shined like the wings of a fucking monarch butterfly. Orange. 
Orange? Wait. 
Buck remembered. He remembered tasting blood in his mouth after getting into a fistfight in the middle of Canterlot High's music room. He remembered being booted out of a talent competition. He remembered being part of a loud crowd and seeing an unbelievable spectacle. 
Three gorgeous girls in an epic battle with the seven Rainbooms. 
Sirens. 
That's what they all said, after. Sirens; powerful enough to charm the entire school and drain them of their life energy. He had almost fucking died in a mosh pit because of these things, and their leader, the one he'd hyperfixated on for a whole week after, the one that called the shots? She was standing right in front of him. She looked exactly the same as she had looked then. Petite and curvy and powerful. 
Adagio Dazzle. Leader of the Dazzlings. A Siren. Her magenta eyes were wide with shock. 
She opened her mouth to speak. 
Buck bolted. 

Adagio waddled into her pajamas on the bathroom floor as quickly as possible. This was not the first time she'd had to scramble into a cute outfit and then get sprinting. Her thoughts were slow and calm. They were always this way during a crisis. 
How long had it been since the last time she'd been caught? Not since the Battle of the Bands surely, and not since 1826 before then. The Dazzlings had been pirates, then. Good times. These thoughts floated through Adagio's head as she ran for the door. She heard the sound of the elevator dinging. She ran into the hallway and saw that the elevator was coming up. Adagio gritted her teeth. 
His escape was cut off, but he was going to run the corridor to get away from her. Likely look for a fire escape. He'd be able to run a circuit of the hallways and catch the elevator. That had to be his plan. Clever boy. Or perhaps he was just panicking. She heard Buck stumble and slap the wall as he rounded a corner. Her senses were sharper than they'd had been for months. She smelled his sweat, and she tasted his fear. 
Fear. It was salty and supple like a raw steak. It made her drool. Adagio smirked and wiped her mouth. She ran in the opposite direction that Buck went.

"Shit, shit, Shit SHIT!" Buck muttered. The damn elevator hadn't been there. He'd pounded on the button, but this place was so fucking huge it would take a while for it to get up here. What fucking floor was this, even? He cursed himself for not paying attention last night. 
Wait, no, his head was full of fuck at the time, he couldn't be mad about that, it was her. She had-"FUCK!" Buck slipped on a puddle on the floor. He skidded and smacked into the water fountain, which was currently pissing a deluge of water onto the carpet around it. Buck almost hit the carpet face first but scrambled on all fours for a second before he continued hauling ass down the hall. 
Wait, wait, this is the same place where Sunburst lived! Buck thought Sunburst lived a bit lower down in the building, which really meant that he had to get into that fucking elevator. Or the stairs, whichever came first. Just as Buck considered this, he heard a sound like a reciprocator turning on and was immediately pelted in the face by something cold and wet. The ice machine was going fucking nuts, spewing a scattershot of ice cubes at him. 
"What the fuck is wrong with the water features in this place!?" Buck grumbled. The ice machine spat at him. Buck stopped to kick it, seemed to remember himself, and started running around the corner. And there she was. She was strolling down the corridor in his direction, having just passed the staircase in her adorable pajamas. She was still wet from the bath, and her hair dripped water onto the floor. Adagio smiled a shark's smile at him as she caught his eye. Her arms were outstretched. Her eyes were red. 
"Buuuuck~Where are you going, Buck~?" Adagio sang. Her voice was fucking gorgeous, Buck thought. Without thinking, he had begun to walk towards her, but then turned on his heels and ran the other way. 
"Nopenopenopenopenope!" Buck simpered. Where the fuck were the stairs? Shit, shit! She was in front of them. Fuck, if he ran this way, she'd just turn around and block off the stairs. If he, shit, shit shit, if he ran for the elevator, she'd get there before him. Why the fuck had he run to the LEFT when he got out of her suite? Was he fucking stupid!? No, he wasn't, exactly, but what he was about to do certainly Was. 
Buck spun again before he hit the water fountain. Fuck, his socks were wet, he hated that! He dashed straight at Adagio, catching her off guard. Her pupils dilated and she tensed her body as if to pounce. He could see her nipples through her pajamas. Adagio grinned as if sensing his distraction. Buck let out a deep breath. He stopped and held his arms out. "Nowhere...I'm not going nowhere." 
Adagio surged forward like a torpedo. Time slowed. She looked like she meant to tear out Buck's throat, but midway through the pounce, Adagio's face changed for just a moment. A flicker of a frown. And then Buck ducked and caught her and used her momentum to flip her over his head and behind him. There was a loud thud as Adagio connected with what Buck assumed was wall. He was too busy running to check. He slammed through the door to the stairs and then started tearing down them, two steps at a time. 
It was a spiral staircase, of course it fucking was, just slow me down while Jaws back there catches up, he thought. Buck could hear her feet slapping on the stairs, up and behind him. Then the sound stopped, and what seemed like a whole bucketful of water rained down on him. Buck instantly slipped and nearly tumbled down a few flights, saved only by catching the railing in one hand. 
Buck spluttered and looked up to see Adagio, hand outstretched in his direction, standing on the guard rail. She seemed somehow wetter than before, drops running down her chest and soaking through her pajamas. I'd be hard as fuck if this wasn't so terrifying, Buck thought. He scrambled to pick himself up and keep bounding down the stairs, but his feet kept slipping. Buck swore under his breath as Adagio leapt down, landing perfectly in front of him with a wet slap. 
Despite the incline, she was motionless as a gargoyle on the railing. Her blood-red eyes blinked. She was incredibly close. She looked Buck over for a moment. 
"Buck?" She said. It was almost innocent. Buck blushed, then started running again. Adagio tried to slash him with her nails but Buck was too quick. He had run down a couple of stories while Adagio had bounded on the railing with the sureness and grace of a gymnast. 
Floor 7. Sunburst's floor. 
He had a chance. Buck hustled through the door and shut it behind him, managing to catch Adagio with it before she could nab him. He heard her snarl in a disturbingly melodic tone. He scrambled down the hallway. His lungs were burning. He ran around the corner and stopped, panting. 
"Wait, shit, if I get Sunburst, she'll just kill him, too! Fuck, fuck, fuck! But, but at least we'll have a shot if there's two of us, right?" He covered his mouth as he heard Adagio enter the hallway. 
"Buuuck~...Buuuck~ Don't run away, Buck...come here...let me talk to you, reeeeaaaal close..." Adagio's voice started up in alto and then took a deranged leap into a near baritone growl. Her voice was getting closer. "There's no use in hiiiiding...I can smell your FEAR, BUCK~!" Adagio shrieked. Her feet pattered wetly as she dashed. Buck was already around the other corner by the time Adagio came around the one he'd been hiding at. He was pounding on a door. 
"SUNBURST! SUNBURST FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK OPEN UP!!!" Buck screamed. 
Inside Sunbursts' suit, a sneaker bounced with a foot at the end of a long, feminine leg crossed over another. The laptop that was bouncing on the knee was showing a Stevie Nicks music video. A pair of headphones sat on a nodding head. No help. Buck looked right and saw certain death in wet pajamas strolling toward him. He looked left and saw a dead end. 
He looked around and saw doors and plate glass windows. Could he fight, maybe? No, she had daggers for teeth, she'd rip his throat out, probably. Could he reason with her? She'd hypnotize him or some shit. Couldn't split, either. Nowhere to run. He backed up slowly as Adagio crept toward him. She wasn't smiling anymore. Her red eyes were wide. 
"Buuuuuck~ Come here, Buck...don't run, Buck...let me taste you, Buck." She said. It was high and unearthly and it sounded far away. Her hair was floating around her head, rippling as if she were underwater. The water she was dripping to the floor rose and floated around her gorgeous body. She held her arms out again. She was soft. Her eyes. Fuck, her eyes. 
"Well...if I'm going to die today, at least I'll be killed by the most gorgeous woman in the world." Buck said. He chuckled. Mom was right. He closed his eyes. Adagio tilted her head. She blushed. She blinked. Her eyes were magenta, again. She reached out. Her hands brushed Buck's face. He shuddered. 
Adagio's gaze drifted down Buck's body. 
She giggled, then chuckled, then began laughing. It was not maniacal; it was hysterical. Buck winced, then opened an eye and looked at her. Adagio had thrown her head back in a horse laugh, her teeth and gums showing as her body shook with laughter. 
"Hahahhah! I, I cannot BELIEVE that you have an erection right now!" Adagio said between laughing fits. There were tears rolling down her face. Buck began to chuckle, awkwardly. 
"Ah..heh heh hehhehh..." Then he heard a creak, then saw the door to Sunburst's suite turn in. 
"Hey, can you guys keep it down?" It wasn't Sunburst's voice unless he'd become a girl recently. A girl with legs for days and dark purple hair and a slightly tacky beanie. Her skin was an exceedingly pale lavender color, and her scowl spoke volumes. "You're REALLY loud. What the hell is so funny?" Buck and Adagio looked back at the woman, then at each other. 
"That's...Sunburst's suite. Who're you?" Buck said. Adagio had moved to hide behind him. Probably because she was soaking wet and her nipples were bleeding through her top. Also, she'd been trying to kill him. 
"Uh, I'm Starlight Glimmer. Sunburst's girlfriend?" 
"Oh. OOOOHH! Oh, shit, is that right?" Buck grinned. He walked forward and offered his hand to shake. "Hey, I'm Buck! It's nice to finally meet you! Sunburst probably mentioned me; he's my best friend." Starlight kept her arms crossed. Buck noticed she was a bit taller than him. 
"Uh-huh. Well, Buck, why is your girl there howling with laughter outside my door?" 
"Oh uh-" Buck looked back at Adagio. She was twiddling her thumbs, looking like she was about to melt into a puddle on the floor. "Well, uh, we were looking for the water fountain, and then it malfunctioned. She was just having a laugh at uh...at uh how wet we got. Pretty silly stuff." Buck bullshitted. Starlight raised an eyebrow. 
"I mean, you look more stupid than funny right now, but whatever gets your goat. Could you keep it down?" 
"...yeah. Say, how's Sunburst doing this week? I'm not going to see him until Tuesday." Buck said. He started trying to make small talk while Starlight sandbagged him. After a few seconds, Starlight happened to catch sight of Adagio while rolling her eyes. Those eyes narrowed as she pushed Buck aside.
"Oh. I get it, now. It's You. Adagio Dazzle." Starlight said. Adagio stopped trying to hide and stood up straight, raising her chin with defiance.  
"Yes. It's Me. Lovely to see you again. Bitch."

Adagio remembered Starlight Glimmer the way you remember a bee that stung you a few years ago. She'd stalked the Dazzlings during their comeback tour for a while, then started asking interview questions to Aria, who in turn that night had broken the uppity cunt's leg. It was hilarious in the moment, but the woman had proven capable of following them and sussing out their hiding spots even across state lines. She was stupid and likely quite dangerous. And now, Adagio was alone. 
"Do...do y'all know each other?" Buck said. Starlight looked at him, half worried and half annoyed. Adagio groaned. 
"Yes, Buck, we're acquainted. She's a bitchy friend of my sister's." She said, pinching the bridge of her nose. 
"Yeah, I know this one well enough to tell you that she's dangerous, and you should get away from her." Starlight said. Adagio saw Buck raise a finger; she could taste him prepping a sarcastic retort. He tasted of salt. Then it melted away, and Adagio felt herself blush. Love. She tasted a little drop of chocolatey love. 
"Yeah, I've figured that much out, uh, Starlight, right?" 
"That is my name. The one I just told you, yes." 
"Uh-huh. Well, look, Adagio? She's fine. I'm fine. A little wet from the water fountain, but fine." Buck said. 
"Did you sabotage the fountain with your freaky fish magic?" Starlight glared daggers at Adagio. 
"She didn't do nothin', lady. No need to worry. It's fine. She's fine." Adagio said nothing. It took everything she had to not look shocked. What was he doing? What was Starlight planning to do? 
"Is that so? And you're not being mind-controlled right now?" 
"Do I look like I'm being mind-controlled?" Buck said, spinning a finger next to his head. 
"No, you mostly just look like an idiot." 
"Hah, well I get that a lot." 
"I bet. Listen, Adagio? If I find out you're out here causing trouble-" 
"You'll What? Hobble after me? How's the knee, by the way, Starlight? Tender?" Starlight looked like she was about to throw a punch, then thought better of it. Buck took a measured step between the two women. 
"What I will do is call the Rainbooms and tell them that a dangerous magical entity is still prowling around Canterlot, likely suckering in dumbasses and swallowing their souls."
"That's not even what I do. I don't 'swallow souls', I drain emotional energy and-" Adagio began.
"Wait, wait, wait! Starlight, you know Sunnybun and them?"
"...Yes, I do. Do you?" Starlight squinted at Buck. It was about the same look you'd give to your dog if it one day decided to beg for food in braille. 
"Yeah! Have they never mentioned me?" Buck looked genuinely hurt for the briefest of seconds.
"No. You never came up." 
"'kay, well, we go way back. I'm pals with 'em. Most of 'em. Dashies' kind of a douche." Buck said, flatly.
"Ah, so you do know them." Adagio muttered. She was doing her very best to not evaporate into an embarrassed mist. This situation was growing more complicated by the second. 
"Okay, well, if I tell them that you're in danger of getting eaten by a succubus-"
"I am a SIREN."
"-by a BITCH who eats other peoples' feelings, and her own, judging by her waistline, they will come down here and handle the situation." 
"Listen here, you slimy little panty stain, I am about two seconds away from ripping your smarmy little nipples off and--"
"WOAH HEY, Hey, well, let's not get all nasty, ladies! It's about time we head out. I'm all wet and it's cold in here, and look at Adagio, she's shivering! C'mon, lets go get toweled off, huh? You can go first." Buck said. He took Adagio by the hand and guided her quickly away from Starlight. 
They were already a little ways down the hall when Starlight said; "Hey, wait, I'm not-" 
"But we are. Take care~!" Adagio said. She took Buck by the arm, then winked at Starlight and stuck her tongue out. Starlight sneered, and Buck and Adagio turned the corner as she flipped them off. 

Buck and Adagio had crested the stairs, gotten back to Adagio's floor. They were both cold, damp and confused; Adagio perhaps just a bit more on all fronts. Her hair was clinging to her skin, and she was dripping on the carpet. She hated being wet above water; it made her feel like a cat who fell in a pool. 
"What in the name of Tartarus was that?" Adagio muttered under her breath. 
"I was gonna ask you the same thing." Buck said. His hands were shaking.
"You defended me, back there."
"Oh shit, did I? My head was filled with thoughts on how my best friend is dating what in my estimation appears to be a total cunt. Also, a lotta adrenaline." 
"...You still have a boner. Unbelievable." 
"Did you see her legs?"
"Are you being funny, right now? What I'm trying to ask is why? Why did you defend me?"
Adagio fumbled for her keys, then stuck them into the lock to her suite.
"Well, I know what the Rainbooms can do to people."
"Do you know what I can do to people, Buck?" Adagio said. It was frank, conversational, like asking after the weather.
"...You were trying to kill me back there." 
"I was trying to silence you. I wasn't going to kill you."
"Oh, well that's a relief."
"At most I would have drained you of your emotions, leaving you mindless and empty of all magical power or thoughts. Then, you wouldn't be able to tell anyone that you discovered a siren in their midst." Adagio stepped into her apartment. "But it doesn't matter now. That bitch is aware of my existence, so measures have to be taken--" She looked behind her. 
In the place of Buck was the sound of his feet running down the hall, followed by the elevator dinging. Adagio blinked once, twice, then ran a hand through her hair. "Well, I'm going to get dry, anyway." She murmured.
> Chapter 4 - Close To You (The Carpenters)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The tragedy of all this, really, was that Buck had just gotten clean less than an hour ago and now he was soggy and dirty and miserable. And sweaty. From running. He had spent most of the trip home running like he stole something, earning concerned looks from the pedestrians he passed on the way to his crummy apartment. Didn't matter, he thought, he was alive and thoroughly un-lobotomized, and that was an overall victory for the day. After three or four blocks and the threat of an imminent athsma attack passed him by, he slunk down onto a bus station bench to catch his breath. He looked around. 
She wasn't following him. That's good! But she could easily find him, probably by scent. That's bad. But she didn't know where he lived! That's good! But she knew where Sunburst lived now, and she could rip his dick off and force him to tell her where Buck lived. That's bad. But she hadn't killed him! She wasn't even going to! That's good! But she was also an emotion draining vampire fish lady who had just admitted she might drink his brain with a fucking bendy straw.
"That's bad. This is fucked. Everything about this is Fucked...!" By now Buck had begun shuffling away again, and soon his shaky hands were rattling his keys in the lock to his apartment. "I fucking knew things were going too well, too fucking good to be true. Why in the mother of fuckety FUCK did I think a chick like her would be into me? Use your fucking brain, Buck, for ONCE!" He was pacing the floor of his apartment now, hand on his forehead. Sweat was rolling down his face.
"Alright, alright, alright so you managed to play it cool through all of that, but what do you do now, smart guy? What the fuck're you going to do now!? She's a monster and you know that now so she probably can't let you live...but no, she did let you live. Why? What the fuck is she planning now? What if she comes after my friends, or, or she finds me on social media and goes after my folks!? Fuck, fuck, I can't be responsible for this, this is bullshit, I thought I was done with magic and now...fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!" 
Buck was sitting against the wall of his living room now, head in his hands. Catastrophic imagery was running through his head. His family lobotomized, his friends killed, him chained up and being used for whatever Adagio wanted. His sweat was starting to soak his shirt. He was shaking. 
What was he going to do? 
What Could he do?




The morning was quietly shuffling forward as it does on the weekdays. It was a warm sort of morning, the kind that warned of a day that made you glad for shade and for fans and ice cubes and water over everything else. It was going to be a hot one. 
One had to be very careful with weekday mornings. It was easy for one to stop and relax and try and take advantage, but then lose track of time and be late for their responsibilities. 
This had been the case with Ditzy Doo so often that she always planned to give herself an extra hour during the morning, just for transit time in the worst case, or some time to dilly-dally in the best. Dinky had already gone off to school by now, and Ditzy's shift was set to start at noon. She had time. 
This was Ditzy Doo's time.
She decided this morning to get a jump on her latest craft project. She lounged in her bed on top of her little mountain of pillows and pulled her yarn and she worked. Here in her own space, she felt like a beautiful countess in a Jane Austen novel, or something. She was graceful and still and in control. 
This was how she cleared her head for the day; if she could get out her silliest thoughts and urge to create, she'd have little trouble getting through her monotonous deliveries. 
Well, they were usually monotonous, sometimes they were really confusing. It was amazing how people waiting for a package lost all of their patience when it was being delivered, she thought. Her needles moved meticulously, automatically. 	
A woman had to have her hobbies, or in this case, a side hustle, if she wanted to survive single-motherhood. Her etsy store was doing pretty decent this month. She might be able to afford a surprise for Dinky if it kept up. 
Maybe even something for Buck. She didn't want to think about him, right now. He was invading her space. The thoughts of him, anyway.
Ditzy Doo sighed and bit her lip. She balled up her fists for a moment and set her needles down.
This was not the first time Ditzy Doo had been depressed over Buck. Their shared apartment complex had disgustingly thin walls; some folks had joked that a good right hook was all you needed to make a peephole. Ditzy Doo happened to be Buck's next door neighbor, which meant that there was a thin wall between their bedrooms. As Ditzy Doo sat on her bed, knitting to get her mind off things, she laid her head against that wall. It wasn't the only wall separating her and Buck. 
Knitting usually helped. Ditzy Doo wasn't one for pride, but she was good with her hands. She was excellent at knitting. Her most popular product was yarn dolls of various characters. Stuff from cartoons, video games, what-have-you. 
That had been Buck's idea.
Buck was...sweet. He was helpful, and he was kind to her and Dinky. Ever since he showed up a couple of years ago, he'd been nothing but helpful and kind, and in time, Buck and Ditzy Doo had become the best of friends. Friends. Ditzy Doo knew this was a lie, of course, they were far more than friends. Buck had occasionally supported Ditzy Doo financially, or fixed something she broke, or covered for her at work or...well, he'd also been a missing masculine presence in Dinky's life. 
Ditzy was very glad for this. She was happy that Dinky knew a man like Buck instead of her biological father. Buck and the Doo's were almost family, honestly. But then, if she and Buck had been family, then Ditzy Doo's feelings for him would be wrong. 
It had felt just a little wrong the first time she pressed her ear to the wall and listened in on Buck's ramblings. He had been stuck in the middle of a chapter of some light novel project he'd been pounding away at for weeks, and he was at just about his wit's end. Ditzy had remembered then the time Buck had shown her how to hang her laundry up when the coin op downstairs broke. His solution had been to stretch a line from the bike hook on Ditzy's patio all the way to the one on his own, and tie it with a special knot.
Buck was one for creative solutions, but Ditzy, she liked things to be neat. She didn't like being put on the spot, it made her nervous and when she got nervous she just couldn't shut up and then people would tell her to shut up. She had heard Buck pacing back and forth, mumbling about some kind of worldbuilding tidbit or somesuch, and was getting frustrated because it conflicted with the...something. Buck had explained it later, but Ditzy hadn't been totally paying attention. She liked the way his voice sounded when he ranted like that. It was almost rythmic, like light but intense rain. 
Buck always seemed like he was building up to something, and that something was usually a manuscript that would later get rejected. And just when Buck started to feel dejected, Ditzy Doo would swoop in there to cheer him up! Sometimes bearing half a muffin from work, or a story about her deliveries, or just someone to talk to and bounce ideas off of. 
That was always Ditzy's favorite; brainstorming. Buck would always suggest the strangest ideas for craft projects to sell, and Ditzy would open up on some of the creative things that Dinky came up with, or some ideas of her own. 
Buck would take every idea, no matter how asinine with the utmost seriousness, and try to turn it over and take it apart. Ditzy loved to see him stroke his chin and pace around as they ping-ponged thoughts back and forth. Buck was a genius; Ditzy genuinely believed that. He had so many incredible ideas that sounded like they would make a great book or a movie or a pattern on a scarf.  The world just didn't know, yet. But when they did, look out! 
That thought saddened Ditzy a bit. If Buck was Discovered, then he would probably have to move away. And that would be a tragedy. Regardless, Buck's creative energy was infectuous. Unfornately, that wasn't the only type of energy he put out. 

Ditzy Doo's love language was Acts of Service. She showed her love for people by caring for them, and she figured Buck was the same way, because he always put everyone else first. Buck always seemed to be finding new ways to help Ditzy and Dinky out, and to repay him, Ditzy Doo would sometimes take his trash out when he wasn't home, or dust his bookshelves or some such. 
Buck trusted Ditzy Doo. That was a rare thing, Trust.  He had given her two copies of his apartment's keys so that she and Dinky could come and go as they pleased. He simply said to always knock. "You never know what I could be getting up to in here!" He'd say. 
Ditzy knew, of course, what he got up to. 

It was a little ways into Buck's first year in that apartment when Ditzy Doo first heard him. She wasn't sure at first what it was. A soft, rhythmic hum that she heard while in bed. She had looked around her room for the source of the noise. Eventually she realized it was coming from Buck's room; it had to be. She didn't want to spy; she really didn't, but what if Buck was in trouble? Maybe he had a medical condition and Ditzy should be on the lookout! So she pressed her ear to the wall and then tried not to squeak too loud when she realized what she was hearing.
Ditzy could hear Buck moaning softly, facing the wall. "Ah..ah...ah...mm..." It was muffled, but Ditzy knew that Buck wasn't even a foot away from her at the moment. She could almost feel his hot breath on her face. He started grunting, and he murmured a name that Ditzy couldn't make out. She heard him gasp and swear under his breath. Something about getting It on the wall. Then he'd gotten out of bed, presumably for some tissues. Ditzy was, of course, beet red. She wondered what she should do. Tell him that she could hear him so maybe be a little quieter? No, he'd hate her if he found out she was spying! Maybe, maybe make a joke about it? Buck liked jokes. But no, Ditzy didn't want to make fun of him. What if that made him think she's a prude? 
She wasn't. A prude, she, she could get dirty every once in a while like any other pony. She understood. She had needs. There was nothing to be ashamed of, after all, he was a grown man and he had needs, too. Maybe it was better she not say anything. Just keep it secret. What was the harm in that?
It didn't end there, of course. Ditzy's ears perked up as Buck lay back on his bed. And the red on her face only deepened as she realized he was going for a second round. It took him longer that time to...to fire off. Ditzy noticed that his voice turned squeaky when he finished. It was cute.  
What wasn't cute, though, was when Ditzy heard Buck start to whimper, and then weep. This was so private, she thought. He was quieter when he wept than when he came. Like he was trying to hide it from the world, he sobbed so quietly. Ditzy didn't know why he was sad, but she knew that the next day she would ask him if he was okay. This began a trend that started off alarming, then became routine. 
At bed time, Ditzy Doo would sit up in bed after knitting and just wait for Buck. And like clockwork, every day, he would lay down in his bed and he would masturbate. Sometimes he would do it to pornography, and sometimes he would forget to put on headphones. It sounded like he preferred porn where the sex was rough. Ditzy didn't understand this. Buck had always been so sweet and kind to her, he didn't seem like a brute. Even though he had those...muscles, Buck had always been gentle around Ditzy and Dinky. But then...it was his fantasy, so it was better not to judge. If that's how he...how he liked to do it, that was fine. It was his business. It was around this time that Ditzy Doo would occasionally masturbate while Buck did the same.
It had started simple. Innocent. A wandering hand here or there, wandering while Ditzy focused on listening to Buck, and then it drifted to some places and, well, Ditzy Doo wasn't a prude, after all. She wondered what Buck would think if he knew. Would he think she was a bad girl? Would...would he like that? Would he call her a bad girl while he...
Ditzy Doo wanted to know, so badly. She would try everything to get Buck to notice her. She had strong features in the front, she knew that, boys had always been interested in those, but Buck, he was sweet. 
Ditzy had noticed Buck hastily looking away from her chest whenever they talked, or biting his lip when she turned, or smiling when she touched him. He saw her as a woman, at the very least. She wondered if he ever noticed her noticing him. 
She would come to his apartment sometimes and wear the top two buttons open on her blouse, or wear some especially shiny shoes. Or she would sit next to Buck, close enough that he could smell her nice new shampoo. He'd commented on that, said sea spray was a good smell, and she'd never stopped using that shampoo since. 
She liked it when he complimented her. He would always say the sweetest things, notice when she put more effort into her hair, or comment that she was wearing a nice color. He was patient, too. On a particularly bold evening, Ditzy had come to Buck's apartment in a cute little black skirt. She wasn't wearing panties underneath. Buck had been in a musical mood that day, so he and Ditzy sang to each other. Ditzy wasn't any good at it, she was practically tone deaf. But, hearing Buck croon and purr at her so sweetly with his dark honey voice had...it had excited her, and she had to excuse herself to the bathroom to get it together.
Buck had waited for her, sitting patiently for almost twelve minutes while she furiously took care of her concern in the bathroom. When she came out, Buck had smiled and asked her if she was feeling sick. He cared. Ditzy had said she was fine, but she was getting a little hoarse so she was going to make them some tea. Buck had said "That's okay, Ditzy, just take a seat. I'll handle it. Ya like two sugars in chamomile, right?" He remembered. 
Ditzy had stood up and confessed to him, then. 
She balled up her fists to emotionally brace herself and told him. "Buck, I really appreciate everything you do for me and Dinky! You're a really, Really good guy and I don't know what I would do without you!" It hadn't come out right, exactly, but she'd hoped her feelings got through. They didn't. 
"That's...that's really sweet, Ditzy. I'm glad that out of all the crummy people in this complex, I somehow ended up living next to a really wonderful family. Things've been hard on me and...well, thanks for being here. You make everything better, just by showing up."  
Ditzy hadn't said any of the words she had meant to. Buck, I want to go on a date with you. Buck, I think you're handsome and smart and I want to...Buck, you're so sweet and I really like you and would you maybe consider taking me to dinner sometime? Buck, I hope you don't think this is too forward, but I really, really want to kiss you right now.  Buck, I've been masturbating to you for months, and I really think you should take a peek under here. Please? 
In the space of Ditzy standing there, blinking and regretting, Buck had crossed the room and pulled her into a hug. Buck gave Really good hugs. The whole world seemed solid and warm and content when Ditzy was in Buck's arms. He squeezed her firmly and gently, and Ditzy took in his unique scent. Buck always smelled a little like sweat and a little like cologne and he was so warm. She liked him, so much. She wanted him.

Ditzy had been shattered for an entire week the first time she heard Buck having sex. It was Berry Punch. She knew Berry Punch, sorta. She had a reputation. Buck had apparently heard of it. He was sweet talking her in his room. Well, sweet in the way that crushed oreos are sweet. It was dirty. He growled at her about how she'd been all over him on the dance floor. How her tongue tasted like licorice. How he liked how direct she was. 
No! He liked it direct! Ditzy was so stupid! Berry Punch had said something dumb about liquid courage, and then Ditzy heard her lips on his. She sounded like she kissed sloppily. Gross. There was the jingling of belts or jewelry, and then Berry Punch had started moaning up a storm. Buck's muffled moans told Ditzy that he was eating Berry Punch out, and he was apparently pretty good at it, because Berry Punch would not shut up.
She moaned loud and she probably threw her head back because there was a bonk on the wall that made Ditzy Doo jump. Buck came up for air and said: "Hey, could you turn it down a little? My neighbor's room is on the other side of that wall. She could be in there." Berry Punch had laughed and said; "Whatever, man. Let me get on that big ol' sausage dick." 
Ditzy Doo gasped quietly. She had always suspected that Buck was big down there...not that it would change her mind if he wasn't so big, but, well, she had just heard Berry Punch appraise it and...Ditzy felt a little happy about that. She began touching herself as Buck's grunts and Berry's husky moans started coming from the other side.  
Buck had said something about Berry Punch looking a little winded, and if she wanted to switch up. There was a moment of silence, and then Ditzy heard shuffling. Now it was Berry Punch's voice against the wall, and Buck's huffing and grunting just over her. Ditzy could imagine Buck, all covered in sweat, thursting, and groaning, and...but then something happened. Berry Punch coughed, and then she wretched and...well, Buck's groaning stopped and there was a patter of feet and Berry Punch was apoligizing, sorta, about the sheets and the pillow and she was also laughing a little and Buck was muttering that it was fine, just go have some water, please, just have some water.
Ditzy would answer the door half dressed in pyjamas as a rosy cheeked Buck asked her if he could borrow some bleach for his laundry. Said he had spilled something and he was sorry to bother her so late. Ditzy Doo had given it to him of course. He needed her, so she was there. Ditzy would hear Buck seeing Berry Punch another time after that, but it was more brief and awkward. 
Ditzy didn't like Berry Punch. She didn't really seem to care about much of anything, let alone Buck's feelings. She would insult him from time to time in a way that was shockingly mean, and then laugh it off when he asked her to lay off. Her presence in Buck's life was mercifully brief. That made Ditzy breathe a little easier. There were others, of course, even briefer relationships more salacious than Buck cared to mention and too numerous for Ditzy Doo to count. Buck had kept trying, it seemed, and then he just stopped.
Then there was...well, there was a night when Buck was horribly depressed and he'd started drinking and he hadn't stopped. Ditzy Doo had come home to her apartment to hear Buck turn some music up, and when she went to ask him to dial it down some, she found him curled up in a ball on top of his bed, weeping and shaking like a lost child.
Buck was falling apart, that night. The way he talked it sounded like he was carrying the whole world on his shoulders. He kept apoligizing, saying that Ditzy shouldn't have to see him this way. Ditzy held him tight to her chest. She had never been so intimate with him. She told him that it was fine, she was here for him, even in times like this. Buck wailed that he didn't want to be a burden, but Ditzy wouldn't hear of it. 
She just rocked him gently and said that she would be here when Buck needed her, and that time was now. She said she didn't think any less of Buck for crying, said it was brave. 
And like that, Ditzy gently lifted Buck out of his funk and they had talked about it. Buck had said that everything had just sort of piled on him. His failures. The struggle with the rent. The rejected projects. Berry Punch. Her, the one before. He was just so tired, he said, tired of feeling miserable for trying.  
Ditzy had said then that trying is the only way to make things happen. He had told her that. Ditzy said to Buck that Berry Punch just been a mistake, that's all, and that things would be better next time. Buck said he wasn't sure he Wanted there to be a next time. He wanted desperately to learn to be okay with himself without hanging his emotions on someone else, he said. He was tired of getting hurt, too. 
Ditzy had felt almost insulted by that. Wasn't he hanging his emotions on her, right now? Hadn't they been supporting each other emotionally since shortly after Buck came to this place? No, but, this wasn't about Her feelings. She was here to help Buck. 
So, Ditzy Doo had Buck run her through a muffin recipe she had found, and the two warmed up with some cocoa and chatted in the kitchen and then the living room couch. She had fallen asleep with her head in his lap. He was warm, and firm, but soft, down there. He was pure comfort. He felt Right.

It had been some time since then. Just a day ago, Ditzy had recommended Buck try a speed dating event nearby at the last minute. She was going to surprise him by showing up dressed all nice, and she would have confessed to him and really given it her best shot. But that's not what happened. Instead, Buck had talked to Her, first. The woman with the red hair. She was bad. It was obvious to Ditzy, she had that look in her eyes. Like a cat burglar. She was beautiful, and vicious. And she had caught BUCK. 
Ditzy could see how nervous she made him, and she was a flirt. She petted him up and purred at him and fluttered her eyelashes and then Buck, poor Buck had gone off with her before he even Saw Ditzy Doo. This was not the first time some...some loose woman had sunk her claws into Buck, and Ditzy could guess how things would go. It would take a little time, but it wouldn't work out. She'd be mean to him, and he would get hurt, and then he'd come home and be down about it and Ditzy would be there. 
Like always.

That's why, when Buck came home the next morning before Ditzy Doo had gone to work, she was surprised. She heard his door open and shut with a creak, and then his feet pacing the floor. He sounded frantic. He was mumbling. 
What happened?
Ditzy stepped outside and placed her hand on Buck's door. Like always, she knocked twice, waited. He didn't call for her to come in. He didn't say anything at all.
Like always, Ditzy Doo stepped into Buck's cozy little apartment to check in on him. She heard something glass hit the floor and shatter. He was in the kitchen. Something was wrong. 
"Buck? Buck, are you okay?" Ditzy crossed the living room quickly, to the kitchen, and she gasped as she saw Buck. He was crouched on the floor in front of the sink. His shoulders were shaking. He was trying to pick up the pieces of a broken glass with his bare hands. He was bleeding.
"Buck?" Ditzy stepped over to him carefully. "Buck?" Buck wasn't listening. He was mumbling to himself. His hand was bleeding. He was shaking. "Buck!" Ditzy said. Buck stopped and looked at her. He was a mess. He looked terrified, like he'd seen a ghost. "Ditzy? Oh, oh, hey. I'm just trying to clean this up, I...listen I'm...I'm okay, Ditzy, I-"
"No you are NOT, Purple Prose, you are having a panic attack!" Ditzy said. She used her Mom voice for times like this. It was important. Buck blinked and looked around. He was hyperventilating. Ditzy reached out to touch him, and he flinched away from her. 
"No, no, no, wait, WAIT!" Buck shouted. Ditzy Doo shook and shuddered. 
He was scary when he yelled. Ditzy took in a deep breath. He was frightened. He wasn't lashing out, he was backing away. Something had scared him.
"Buck, you're bleeding. Listen, it's going to be okay. I'm here." Ditzy folded her hands over her lap. She made sure Buck saw that she wasn't going to touch him. She spoke carefully, but with authority. "Buck, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm helping, okay? I'm helping. Where are you standing right now, Buck?" 
"In-in my kitchen." Buck's eyes were wild.
"That's right, Buck. What does it smell like in here?"
"It...like, like soap because I cleaned in here the other day." He was shaking.
"Right, right! What color are the dish towels?"
"They're...they're blue." He took a shuddering breath.
"Mhm, mhm. What color is my hair?"
"It's blonde, Ditzy." Buck's breathing was starting to level out. 
"How does your hand feel?"
"...It hurts."
"Would you mind if I took care of it, Buck?" 
"I wouldn't...Thank you." Ditzy Doo took Buck's other hand tenderly. She cupped her hand in his, like they were school kids. She pulled him to the living room and sat him down, then ran to the bathroom and came back with bandages.
"It's okay, Buck. I'm right here with you, okay? I'm here." Ditzy soothed, gently using tweezers and bandages to tend to him. She cleaned him up, made sure the bandages were good and flat to the skin. She'd done this for Dinky more times than she could count. She and Buck had that in common; they were always on the move, and so they were always getting little nicks and scrapes. His hands were sturdy and strong. He was still shaking.
"Breathe, Buck. Count to eight. In. One, two, three..." Ditzy directed. Buck followed and he began to come down.
"Thank you, Ditzy...I don't know what I'd do without you. I-I dropped a glass." 
"Because your hands are shaking. Why are your hands shaking, Buck?" Ditzy said, slowly.
"Because I'm freaking out, Ditzy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, you must be going to work right now and I'm over here being-"
"Shhh...I'm here right now, Buck. I'm here for you." Ditzy said. She patted the hand she was holding. She laid her head on his shoulder. He was warm. "Buck, what happened? Did the speed dating thing not work out? You didn't come home last night."
"Oh, that's right, I was supposed to come over after! I'm sorry Ditzy, I didn't mean to bail on you, I just got a little caught up and..." Buck stammered. Ditzy could feel his heart hammering in his chest. 
"It's okay, Buck. I'm not mad at you. I just want to know what happened."
"I met a girl, Ditzy."
"Mhm." Ditzy closed her eyes and nodded. She sucked her lips into her mouth. She was practicing patience.
"And she...she's...well, she scared the hell out of me, Ditzy. Really freaked me right the fuck out, and she's, she's a mean one, and I don't think I was ready for that, and it was just...things got weird and I'm freaking out, Ditzy, I'm freaking out!" 
"It's okay, Buck. She's not here. I'm here. I've got you, Buck." Ditzy squeezed Buck's hand, nuzzling her cheek against his shoulder. He wasn't telling her something. He smelled a bit like an unfamiliar perfume. He was wet with cold sweat. Oh no. 
"Did she hurt you, Buck?"
"No, Ditzy, I'm okay." 
"You're shaking, Buck. Did she hurt your feelings?"
"No...no, things were just...just off. Strange. Things got really really strange. Freaked me out."
"Okay." Ditzy didn't want to ask the obvious question. This was Buck. He had a weakness for bad girls, she was discovering. That woman had plucked him up from speed dating and did something to him and now he was a nervous wreck. Buck's eyes were darting around the room, like he was looking for an exit. That was the look he got when he was thinking really hard. Ditzy frowned. He was thinking about That Woman. 
"Buck, you're alright. It's over, you're safe, and I'm here. Do you want me to get you some water?" Ditzy reached up and looked into Buck's golden eyes. She touched his cheek. It was as light a touch as she could make. A question.
"Sure, Ditzy. I'd like that. But the glass, you have to be careful, you might get hurt. Because, because I dropped a glass in there...I'm so fucking clumsy, I'm sorry Ditzy."
"Hush. We can clean that up, it's okay. Accidents happen, Buck, you always tell me that. Let me take care of you." Ditzy said. It was matter-of-fact. Distant and matronly. He was almost like a child right now. She stroked his cheek, wiped the tears away with her thumb. She smiled at him. His smile was beautiful.
Ditzy got up and came back with a glass of water. With ice. She sat down next to Buck, scooched a little closer so that their hips were touching. "Small sips, Buck." She said, handing him the glass.
"Alright." Buck said. His hands were still shaking a little, but he was calming down, Ditzy could see that. Good. 
"Buck, would you do me a favor?"
"Anything, Ditzy, anything."
"Take one of those ice cubes and chew on it." 
"Huh?"
"It'll help, I promise. It's, it's like...tactile and it'll get your mind off of things." Ditzy had practiced the ice cube trick when she was spinning out, and it had always helped to ground her. Buck needed some grounding about now. "Here. Say 'ah'."
Buck followed her instructions, and Ditzy gingerly popped an ice cube into his mouth. His lips closed briefly around her fingers. His lips were thick, and soft. Ditzy wanted to reach up and just run her fingers along them. 
Ditzy watched Buck chew slowly. His eyes closed as he rolled the ice cube around in his mouth. His shoulders dropped. Ditzy rubbed his back in big, gentle circles. "You're okay. You're okay." She said it like a mantra.
Buck sighed. Ditzy smiled up at him. Here was the hard part.
"Buck...did you spend the night at that woman's place?"
"Y...Yeah, Ditzy, I did." He hesitated. He was ashamed. It wasn't his fault, she wanted to say, but another part of her was furious. Of course he had, of course.
"Well, did you leave anything there, Buck?"
"...No. I've got everything." 
"Okay. Buck, you have work tonight. Do you want me to call in and say that you can't come?"
"No, no, I'm not going to do that to you guys. I'll be okay to work."
"Are you sure, Buck?" Ditzy couldn't remember the amount of times she'd asked Buck if he was sure about something, and then he'd cracked. Buck shook his head.
"I'm sure. I'll be okay, I promise."
"You're going to be okay, Buck?" Ditzy said. He still wouldn't look in her eyes. He looked so frightened, and vulnerable, but he sniffed and nodded.
"I'm going to be okay, Ditzy. Thank you for this." He said. He smiled. Ditzy felt her heart flutter. 
"It's okay, Buck. I'm here, you know that! We look out for each other, don't we?" Ditzy said, smiling.
"That we do, Ditzy. That we do." Buck said. Ditzy booped his nose. He chuckled.
"And don't you be afraid to come to me when you get like this, okay?" She chided him. She knew him. He would never admit it, but he liked it when she was overbearing. He wanted so badly for someone to take care of him, she knew. 
"Okay, Ditzy. I won't. I mean, I will. Yeah." Buck said, stumbling over his words.
"Well...I still have to go to work, but if you want, I can sit with you for just a little bit longer. Would you like that, Buck?"
"You don't have to do that, Ditzy. I don't want to make you late."
"No, no, I always show up early anyway. You'd just make me late to being early! It'll be fine."
"I...okay, Ditzy. Yeah, I'd really like to just sit here with you for a little while. It's okay, right?"
"Yeah Buck, it is. I'm here." Ditzy was gently wiping away the tears on his other cheek. He wasn't touching her; he almost looked like he was afraid to touch anything. Poor thing. 

"...Buck, come here." After a moment of sitting in silence, looking away, Ditzy turned to Buck once more. He tilted his head, finally looked at her. He was so close. She could feel his breath on her face. "Buck..." Ditzy said, eyes half lidded. She reached up to touch his cheek. 
"Yeah, Ditzy?" His lips were so soft. His eyes were bright and beautiful. His shoulders were so wide. He was so vulnerable. Ditzy pulled him close.
Then, she leaned back and away, pulled his head into her lap. He shuddered, in the way a cat shudders when you surprise it with a pet to the back. He went stiff for a second, then sighed and relaxed. She pet his hair, scratched his scalp, gently. This was enough for right now. It had to be. He needed to feel secure. This wasn't the time for...
"You're safe with me, Buck. It's okay." Buck and Ditzy would stay like that for a little while. He had finally stopped shaking. Ditzy's thighs were small, but she hoped they were soft enough for him. He didn't complain. The room was filled with a sweet, contented silence between them.
And then, like always. Ditzy had to go, and leave Buck alone.
> Chapter 5 - 9 to 5 (Dolly Parton)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Buck came to Canterlot, he was a teenager, and he had the vain hope that the summers here would be breezy and fun, unlike the suffocating humidity of his home. He was half right. The summers in Canterlot City were humid and stuffy, and as time wore on, they grew blisteringly hot.
Buck thanked all his lucky stars that he worked in a nice air-conditioned building as he rode the bus to work. And then summarily cursed those stars when he realized that the AC was out at Sugar Cube Corner. For fuck's sake, today was already bad enough, but now it seemed he would have to spend the first few hours of his shift living in sweaty buttcrack city while he waited for the sun to go down. Another day in paradise. At least there were ceiling fans. 
A lot of people said that Sugar Cube Corner had made the neighborhood nicer over time, and to Buck, that made a lot of sense. Sugar Cube Corner was a stubby little reprieve from the hustle and bustle of uptown Canterlot. It was a mom-and-pop shop that refused to be bought out or defeated by the towers of glass and steel around it, and by now it had become an enduring local flavor. In a way, Buck was proud to work here. Most of the time, though, he'd prefer to be at home slaving away over a hot word document.
Today, Buck was out of sorts. He wasn't sure what he was going to do about Adagio, so he did his best to put the events of last night out of his mind and focus on the cold monotony of working the front desk. He was good at slinging candy and snatching tips. To his left stood Scootaloo, who after trying to poke some answers out of him, was content to speculate about the previous night's events, to Buck's chagrin.
"So she ripped off her face, and surprise! She's a bog witch come to suck out your soul, and you spent the whole night running and saying prayers until the sunlight melted her down into sand, or something?" Scoots said. She was casually rolling a pen across the front counter.  
"No, Scoots. That's not what happened. What happened ain't for work, okay? I'm not talkin' about this."
"Why are you being so cagey? Did you score or not? You can tell me!" 
"Scoots, I promise I'll tell you.  Just not at work. Not with Mrs. Cake and Pumpkin right there in the kitchen...you know I'm on thin ice already. I don't wanna screw this up; I still need this job. "
"Aww, you're no fun!" Scoots said, pouting. This was an all-time classic Scoots maneuver. She'd pull this on the rare times when a GM said "No", or when someone told her to ease up on the Mountain Dew. 
"No fun is fine by me. No fun is simple." Buck said, yawning. "If it's all the same to you, I'd rather put it from my mind. S'easier that way."
"C'mon, Buck, it couldn't be that bad! Are you gonna see her again, at least?"
"Doubt it, Scoots. I severely doubt it."
*DING DONG*
"Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner!" They said in cheery unison.

The front door chimed with a song that Buck was pretty sure Pinkie Pie had written herself a while back. She didn't work here anymore, she had left a few years ago to properly get into the event planning business. Still, her fun and fancy-free influence could be felt everywhere in Sugar Cube corner, from the pink and white tiled floor to the silly names of most of the treats to the bubblegum pop that played over the speakers, to the pinkish paint that lined the front door. Standing in that threshold was a terribly familiar and curvy form. 
"Fuck no, fuck no..." Buck muttered. It was like a prayer.  He knew that prayer wouldn't save him, of course. Adagio  Dazzle had just entered Sugar Cube Corner. She was wearing a white business shirt with poofy sleeves and a black skirt. Her hair was up in a professional-looking beehive style.  That white shirt looked like it was having a hard time with the heat; it was lightly soaked with sweat and Buck could almost clearly see the outline of something lacy beneath it. She was wearing a pair of mirrorshades, and a spaghetti strap purse.  She sighed in contentment as she stepped under the ceiling fan.
Adagio startled for a moment when she noticed who was standing at the counter. Then Buck watched as a smile crept across her face. It was slow, like watching blood spread over the surface of a lake, and it made Buck's stomach feel heavy and low. Her heels clacked with purpose as she strode up to the counter.
"Well, well, well. If this isn't a spot of serendipidty?"  She placed her hands on her wide hips and grinned.  Her hoop earrings wiggled as she tilted her head. "This is the job that you mentioned?" Adagio said. 
At first, Buck's eyes shifted to Scootaloo, whose own eyes were a mask of sheer terror. She was also blushing. 
Buck was going to say something sarcastic, but then he found he couldn't look away from Adagio. It seemed like her gaze would find him no matter where he went, even from behind sunglasses. "Uh, yeah. This is, uh, this is where I work." 
"I knew you were sweet, Buck, but I didn't know you worked as a confectioner. How...appropriate." Adagio said, without a hint of irony.
Buck let out the breath he was holding. He couldn't help himself. He started chuckling, then laughing hard like Adagio was a stand-up comedian. He laughed straight at her face, and once he wiped the tears from his eyes, it became clear to him that Adagio hadn't been expecting that response. She had an eyebrow raised, and she was lowering her shades. The tension in the room shattered like sugar glass.
"Puns! You bring puns into my place of work!? Have you no shame!?" Buck said, giggling. 
"Word play! Honestly, you're infuriating." Adagio said. Her tone was testy, but there was a smile on her face.
"Well, since you just bulldozed through the ice, uh, what can I get for you? Please say something in the display case." Buck said, adopting his customer service voice. Adagio looked a little befuddled at his code-switching. She seemed to play along.
"Ah, well, I happen to have business in this district today, and I thought I would tuck in and have a snack, maybe a cup of tea? Anything to get out of the heat." Adagio said.
"Alright, well, are you looking for something savory or sweet?" Buck asked, cheerily.  
Adagio leaned forward. Just enough it seemed for Buck to get a glimpse of her cleavage through the open top buttons of her shirt, but not so much that it looked all that suspicious. To Buck, it seemed measured, strategic. 
"It looks like there's a sweet and savory snack standing right in front of me~." She purred. 
"ohmygodshe'slikesupercorny" mumbled Scoots from the spot in the corner where she was trying to meld with the wall.
"Do you have a preference? I could give you like a sampler, or-"
"Oh, I've already sampled you plenty, but I wouldn't be opposed to another serving, Buck." Adagio said.  
Buck could FEEL Mrs. Cake's hackles rising behind him. It was a sort of heat rising up and radiating from the kitchen nook, bleeding into his cheeks. He thought to himself that this must be exactly what Adagio wants. He couldn't run from her here, so she was toying with him. He didn't want to play this game. He leaned forward and whispered. 
"Listen...can you not do this here?  You could get me in a lot of trouble, so please. Dial it back, okay?" He said it urgently, almost pleading.
Adagio seemed genuinely surprised at this. Her face cycled through a few emotions at once. The only one Buck picked up on was a little smile behind a hand covering her mouth. It was the face of someone who almost walked in on someone else having sex. Impish. That was the word.
"Understood, Buck. I'll be on my best behavior, then." Adagio stood up. She smiled. It was sweet and threatening like a sheet of cookies straight out of the oven. Buck did his best to handle it with care.
"Do you have any preference on sweets?" Buck said.
Adagio tapped her chin innocently, her eyes wandering in thought. "Blood Orange Tart. My absolute favorite." She said.
"Got it. Scoots!" Buck said, and Scootaloo scrambled to grab a pastry out of the display case in much the same way a raccoon would scramble for the same pastry if it was in the garbage. 
"And a nice black tea, please." Adagio said. Her eyes were searching Buck's face. He found that he wasn't nearly as nervous as he probably should be. It was like seeing a great white shark at the aquarium. 
A thin veil separated them, and were it not there, Buck would be in danger. Well, then, sharks weren't all that deadly unless provoked, but the look in Adagio's eyes said that blood was in the water. Buck felt a lump in his throat as he rang up her order.
"That'll be five bucks even, ma'am." Buck said. His voice cracked, just the slightest bit. Adagio breathed in as if sampling a rose. "You didn't follow me here, did you?" Buck said, low and quiet. Adagio slid a fiver into his hand, letting her long, sharp nails linger in Buck's palm before pulling them away. She smirked and maintained eye contact for a few silent seconds. Buck felt like he was being surrounded.
"As a matter of fact, Buck, I actually am here on business. It's not all about you; I intend to be a copy typist for the firm a few doors down by day's end." She was wearing a darker shade of red on her lips today, Buck noticed. She looked as if she had been drinking blood. "I'm well beyond qualified for the position."
"Oh, well, that's cool. Do you do computers?"
"Pardon?"
"Computers. You said you were going for copy typist?" 
"Yes, I've got a decade's worth of experience with typwriters, and I've taken two relevant courses."
"Typewriters?"
"Did I stutter, Buck?"
"Huh. Well...uh, good luck!" Bucks said.
"I won't be needing it. But thank you." Adagio said. Buck passed her the little bag with her tart inside. "Excellent. And my tea?"
"Right here!" Scoots squeaked. And then a chair squeaked loudly as Scoots pulled it away from one of the tables near the front window. The steaming cup of tea was on that table. 
"Ah, she's a sweet thing as well. I'm going to go ahead and enjoy this little delicacy and I will have my tea and that will be that, Buck." Adagio said. Her voice was almost tender.
"Well, thank you for your patronage." Buck said.
"But! The customer service here is just divine. I think I may have to make this my usual lunch spot. After all, I'll be nearby during the week. Almost right next door." She said. She grinned that shark grin at Buck. He felt his heart skip a beat. That smile was sadistic. He'd seen it last night. 
Adagio turned slowly, then sashayed to her table. This would be so much easier if she was a horrifying monster, Buck thought to himself. No one could blame me for running for my life, then. Instead, he was being stalked by a monster woman who could hypnotize him with her ass. Just his fucking luck. 

"Oh, Buck, dear? Could you come back here for a moment?" It was Mrs. Cake, from the kitchen. Her tone of voice brooked no argument. Buck sighed very quietly to himself.
"Scoots. Could you man the counter?" Buck said. Scoots for her part was very focused on keeping her head down and her eyes focused on the end of the broom that she was pushing. She quickly stepped over to the counter, gave a thumbs-up, and tried to escape Adagio's eyes and grin while standing still. It looked very difficult. 





Buck made his way to the back kitchen, where Mrs. Cake was working. She was rolling some dough, doing a bit of prep ahead of time. Mrs. Cake was a gorgeous, corpulent woman. She was thick in just about every way, and she seemed almost incapable of showing her age. Aside from the crow's feet around her eyes, Mrs. Cakes' professionally coifed swirly pink hair and her smooth blue skin marked her as the woman of the house and this establishment. Her voice bespoke motherly authority. She was used to having things her way, and her way was usually the Right way. Her sweet little daughter Pumpkin Cake, who had been working hard lately at climbing over the age of 5, was helping her mother in the kitchen. 
What this meant was working on her coloring book in the corner of the kitchen, for the most part, and otherwise fetching things from low cupboards when Mrs. Cake needed. "Hi, Buck!" Pumpkin said, waving her hand rapidly, without looking up from her coloring. Her straight orange hair was a little all over the place today. "Hiya, Pumpkin." Buck said, smiling. His smile cut off as Mrs. Cake addressed him.
"Buck, do you know That One out there?"
"...only somewhat, Mrs. Cake." Buck knew better than to lie. Mrs. Cake's hands moved to her aggressively wide hips.
"But you're acquainted. May I ask how, Buck?"
"We...we met at speed dating."
"...I see."
"Yeah...I don't know her all that well. She's here by coincidence; got a job interview nearby." Buck said. He was beginning to sweat. This was exactly the kind of conversation he wanted to avoid today.
"Buck, you can relax. You aren't in trouble. Yet. Is this going to be another Berry Punch situation?"
"No ma'am, absolutely not, ma'am." Buck was in no way capable of relaxing. He was on thin ice. He'd been on thin ice for something like 6 months. "I don't even know if she took a car here-" Mrs. Cake narrowed her eyes.
"And, and even if I did, I wouldn't be getting into that car, and certainly not right after my shift."
"Yes. Because you were told expressly that there was to be no canoodling on these premises, which includes the parking lot."
"Yes, ma'am." It had been Berry Punch, a while ago, shortly before she and Buck's 'not-a-real-relationship' had become 'not-much-of-fucking-anything'. Mrs. Cake had wanted to fire Buck, but he was a friend of the family, and Mr. Cake was very fond of him. He was friends with Pinkie, anyway, and Pinkie had never steered them wrong. She had vouched for him.
"Because we have a reputation to uphold, you understand." Mrs. Cake said. Buck nodded. There were several things that he would have said in alternate versions of this conversation. He thought of a few of them on the spot. Something to the tune of twice as many high school girls coming to the store when he was working, the tips he managed to squeeze out of people every shift, or how neither of Mrs. Cake's two children looked anything like Mr. Cake, but the stores' reputation was on the line, and Buck didn't want to impugn on that at all, no siree. 
"Yes, ma'am. No funny business, here." Buck said, simply. Mrs. Cake wasn't one for arguments; she was one for lectures, and Buck was desperately hoping that this one would end soon. Another part of him, though, felt safer in here with the stern woman and her daughter as opposed to swimming in the shark tank outside. 
"Very good, then. Are you alright, dear? Ditzy Doo said earlier that you were feeling out of sorts." There was genuine concern in her voice. The bad cop fell away, and the matronly owner of Sugar Cube Corner took her place once more.
"I'm fine now, ma'am."  Buck lied.
"Well, alright then, Buck. That's all I wanted to ask." Mrs. Cake said. She smiled and gave Buck a nod before returning to her prep work. Buck turned to head back out onto the floor. His gaze happened to peek out the kitchen nook and onto Adagio, who somehow was already looking in his direction with a devious smirk. Buck shuddered. "And Buck?" Mrs. Cake said.
"Ma'am?"
"...You're a fine man, Buck." Here it comes, Buck thought. "You've just been unlucky, is all. You seem to attract bad girls. Be careful, dear. That axe has a bit of a cold edge, as my mother used to say." 
"Yes ma'am. Thank you ma'am." Buck said as he stepped out of the kitchen.
"I think you're smelly!" Pumpkin Cake said.
"She doesn't mean that, dear."
"Yes I do!" Pumpkin said, smiling and waving as Buck left the kitchen.





Buck stepped back out front just in time for Scootaloo to start elbowing him in the ribs. "Buck! Buck, holy shit, you slept with her, didn't you, you totally did didn't you!?" She whispered. Adagio was sitting on the other side of the room, sipping her tea and looking out the window. She checked her watch.
"Scoots, don't. Chill the fuck out." Buck said, wondering who the fuck still wore a wristwatch in the current era. Adagio didn't seem to be paying any attention. Her gaze was looking out onto another world. Or maybe she was watching the finches in the tree across the street, Buck wasn't sure. But he felt something in him stir as he looked at her. She wasn't smiling. Her eyes were wide, and she was framed in the light coming through the window in this moment of gentle repose. She was like an oil painting; a living embodiment of the classicism that Buck had had to study in school. Buck put a hand to his chest. His heart was racing. She was gorgeous.
At that moment, Adagio sniffed the air and turned to look at Buck. A look of honest bewilderment crossed her face as she looked him over. Then, as if emerging from an abyssal cove, that shark grin came back. Scootaloo went silent again, whereas Buck tried and failed to act casual. Adagio got up from her table and sauntered over to the counter. There was a brief flash of remorse in her eyes as they slid down from Buck's face and onto his bandaged hand.
"Buck...is your offer from this morning still valid?" She said. Her grin was fading. There wasn't any edge in her voice. If anything, it was breezy and timid.
"Huh? What do you mean?" 
"You said that..." Adagio stopped for a moment. Buck counted the seconds as she drew in a breath and held it. "You said that you 'Really like me and you'd like to get to know me.' Is that still the case?" Adagio said. Buck couldn't tell if this was an act, or a scheme or something. Adagio's hand rose slowly and touched her heart, as Buck had just done. She didn't seem to notice it happening.
"...Can I level with you?" Buck said. He leaned forward, almost conspiratorial in his approach. He made the eye contact, this time.
"Yes, Buck?" Adagio said. 
"I'm terrified of you." Buck said. Adagio's eyes darted away.
"Ah. Well, you certainly should be." Adagio said. No shark's grin, this time. Just a statement of fact.
"But yeah. I do, genuinely still feel the same way I did this morning."
"Ah." 
"And I'm way more scared of that fact than anything else." Buck thought for a moment to try subterfuge, but he knew that being painfully honest was more his style. Why pretend, with her? She'd seen so much of him already. 
"Afraid that you still like me?" She had paused for a moment to emphasize the end, there. Scootaloo would later tell Buck that Adagio was bouncing on her heels at that time, only a little bit, like a nervous school girl.
"Afraid of getting in over my head with a girl like you."
"Oh, trust me, there are no girls like Me, Buck." A flash of teeth. 
"Would you believe me if I told you that you're not the first one to say that to me?" Buck said it flatly. It wasn't a challenge. He could see his reflection in the windows of Sugar Cube Corner. He looked so sad when he said that, he had to check himself. That look was bad for business. 
"Would you like to see me after work, Buck? I could come and pick you up if you'd like." 
"I'd rather wait for another day. We should sit somewhere in the sun and chat, I think."
"Somewhere where other people can see you, you mean?"
"Yeah, exactly." 
"Fair enough. Well then, I'm going to go and get that job. How about you meet me under that tree when you get off work?" Adagio said, pointing. The tree had a park bench beneath it. Sugar Cube Corner was on the edge of Canterlot's Center Park, which was a sprawling four-mile stretch of greenery that took up most of the core of the city. Buck thought to himself that it wouldn't be long until they'd have to start serving ice cream cake again; summer was coming and that meant park goers on the north side of Center would be coming here to cool off. 
Adagio raised an eyebrow at Buck. He'd zoned out for a second there. "That won't be until after the sun goes down. I'm off around 9:30." Buck said, dragging himself back into the conversation.
"That's fine."
"No, it's not. I'm not meeting you in the park after dark."
"Ah, right." 
"How about you come around in about two hours? That'll be my lunch break." 
"That will do, Buck." Adagio said. She looked him up and down very slowly, and then without another word, she turned and her clacking heels carried her out of Sugar Cube Corner.





"Okay, but Buck, what the heck is going on?" Scootaloo said. She had returned from wherever she had managed to hide in this open and brightly colored dining area to stand next to Buck. 
"Are you going to freak out if I tell you?" Buck said. He glimpsed himself in the window once more. He looked exhausted.
"Yeah, probably." Scootaloo said. Scoots was honest. Buck liked that about her, usually, but today her glibness made him pinch the bridge of his nose and groan.
"D'ya remember the...dy'a remember the Battle of the Bands, Scoots? Remember, you and the girls did that sick glam rock jam that you wrote?" 
"Woof...that was a million years ago, but yeah. So what?"
"You remember the Dazzlings?"
"...sorta, yeah. They were like magic pop divas, right? Hypnotized everyone, or something."
"Uh huh."
"Yeah, what about them?"
"Scoots."
"Yeah?"
"Scoots, that was their leader." Buck had to move fast. Scootaloo was vibrating like a damn dryer on max settings and her fists were shaking. She had tried to scream "YOU'RE DATING A SIREN!?" but Buck managed to clap his hand over her mouth before she could get it out.
"Shhhh! Keep it down! No I'm not dating her, we're just going to talk...!" Buck said, taking his hands away. 
"OhmigodohmigodohmigodBuck! Buck, you're crazy! She's going to eat you alive!" Scootaloo whisper yelled. 
"No she's not, Scoots. I think we have an understanding." 
"Oh, okay...wait but that means....YOU HAD-" Buck covered her mouth again. She had meant to finish "-SEX WITH A SIREN!?". 
"Scoots, I am begging you to be cool about this. Don't yell. Don't tell nobody about this. I mean, Sunburst already knows, probably, but don't tell no one else, alright?" After Scoots nodded, Buck let her speak.
"I mean, who else do you even know in town, Buck? The Cakes? Donut Joe?" Scootaloo said. Buck's eyes squeezed shut. He really was exhausted.
"Just don't tell Quibble. He'll start being an asshole about it."
"What do you mean start?" Scoots said.
"Hah, got 'em. Naw, but seriously, can I ask you to just...like, just watch out for me? We're going to be at that bench over there, and could you just keep an eye on us, so she doesn't try nothin'?" 
"Sure Buck. I've got your back!" Scoots said. She raised a respectful if insistent fist to bump. Buck acquiesced. Scoots was a bro at the end of the day. 
"Thanks, Scoots. I appreciate you."
"Yeah, yeah, but...what was she like?"
"Huh?"
"You know, like last night? What was she like?"
"For fuck's sake, Scoots!"
"What!? What's wrong with asking!?"
*DING DING*
"Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner!" They said in unison. 





Two hours passed like that. Buck refused to go into detail about his night with Adagio, half out of bashfulness and the other half out of fear for his job. Mrs. Cake had always held the rule that smut talk should be reserved for outside spaces and after hours, and Buck respected that. Mostly. His break came along and within moments of him sitting down on that bench, Adagio was on the other side of it. A short bar of metal and a huge pile of anxiety separated the two. 
"Buck?" He heard her say. "Why aren't you looking at me?"
"It's hard to focus when I'm looking at you."
"Why is that, Buck?"
"Because I'm afraid of you. And because you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." Buck said. He was watching the birds in the tree overhead. 
"I'm not going to bite, Buck, unless you ask me very nicely." Adagio said. Buck snorted at that. 
"Your teeth were like daggers this morning. Be honest; were you going to try and eat me?" 
"...No, Buck. I told you already that the worst I would do is-"
"Lobotomize me and suck the emotions out of my comatose body." Buck said. His hands trembled. 
"Well, I'm not going to do that either." She said. 
"You're not in disguise today." Buck said. He was trying to steady his breathing. He was failing. 
"There's no point in hiding, now. You and that Starlight creature have properly blown my cover. I assume the Rainbooms have been informed?"
"I haven't called them, No. But Starlight might have." Buck's leg was twitching. He couldn't seem to sit still. That was nothing new, of course, but he was trying to come off as cool. He was failing at that as well. The Rainbooms were a card he could play if everything went wrong, sure, but he didn't want to call them for his own reasons. 
"Then I'm on probation, is that it?"
"Never said that. S'not my job to watch you and make sure you don't do what Sirens do, whatever that is." 
"We sing, Buck."
"You chased me around a hotel." 
"I did that because you ran."
"I ran because I recognized you. I know what you can do." Buck remembered the beating he got in the pit at the battle of the bands. If the Dazzlings hadn't been stopped, he'd have been beaten to death. He was sure of it. He looked across the street, through the window of Sugar Cube Corner. 
In the art of subtlety, Scoots was a dadaist. She was sweeping the floors or trying to look like she was. She was mostly pacing back and forth in front of the window, waving a broom. 
This was comforting to Buck; if things went south, he knew that Scoots could make enough noise to bring the whole block over here.
Adagio was quiet. Buck imagined a great lake, the kind that always had waves on it, and how scared he would be if the waves suddenly stopped. He snuck a glance at Adagio, expecting her to already have her eyes locked on him with that thirsty look from before. But that's not what he saw.
Adagio was sitting with her hands in her lap, and she was looking off in the distance. Buck knew that look. 
For just a moment, past her curly orange locks, Buck could see Adagio's lip quivering. She closed her eyes and held a breath. She spoke without looking at him.
"Buck. I'm not going to hypnotize you, or put you in a coma. I'm not here to hurt you, Buck, I swear. I didn't come to intimidate you, or to silence you." She said.
Buck leaned forward on the bench, trying to catch Adagio's eyes. She looked away quickly. 
"Then why did you come here?" He said.
"...I was wrong, this morning. I reacted...well I reacted in a drastic way, and I'm sorry for scaring you." She said. Her hands grasped at her skirt. 
"Ah. Well, apology accepted." Buck said. He smiled as Adagio turned to him in bewilderment. He sat up, and looked at the sky. "I get it. I do. You're incognito here, and I caught you. You panicked." He reasoned. He wanted to hate her, to be scared of her, to run for his life. But now he knew he couldn't.
"Well...yes, maybe at first I did chase you because I panicked. But."
"But?" Buck said. He looked down at Adagio and saw that she looked away when he did so. She seemed so small.
"But that's not the whole reason. I...I chased you, Buck because I didn't want you to go away."
"Huh?" Buck said. Adagio was quiet again. Buck saw her grit her teeth. 
"I hate this." She mumbled. 
"What d'ya mean?"
"I hate this! I'm supposed to be...this isn't how I'm supposed to be. I'm supposed to be in control. And I'm here, falling apart on a park bench...! Do you have any idea how hard this is?"
"Uh...no?" Buck said. Adagio looked up at him sharply then. There was a twinkle of tears in the corners of her eyes. 
"I'm alone up there, Buck! I'm tired of this horrible town and I'm tired of being alone! And I found you, Buck, I found you and I took you home and you...you...!" Adagio began to ramble. Buck didn't shrink away from her, this time. He just listened. "And you were so good, Buck! You're just this...this good thing that I found, Buck and the way you taste is just...well. I...I chased you Buck, because I knew that when you saw me for what I am you would run, and I'd never see you again, and I can't accept that, Buck, do you understand?" She said. In between that tirade, she had begun to reach out to him, then planted her hand back in her lap. She seemed afraid to touch him, now.
"You chased me because you were lonely?" Buck said. It was barely above a whisper.
"YES!" Adagio screamed it. 
The birds in the tree above them flew away. Pedestrians on the other side of the street looked askance at them. Buck smiled and waved at them, then looked back at Adagio. She was breathing heavily. She looked terrified. "I'm not going to hurt you, so please, don't run from me! I really, genuinely want to get to know you and...and spend some time with you." She said. She was blushing, now. 
"Oh. Huh...uh, wow, I uh...are, are you asking me on a second date?" Buck said, scratching his chin. Adagio put her head in her hands and groaned. Then, slowly, she started giggling. It took her a few moments to respond.
"Yes, Buck. I'm asking you out on a second date. Do you have a preference on where we go?" She said, wiping a tear from her eye. She had managed to scoot a little closer to Buck. Adagio's hip was against the metal bar. She was smiling, now, the sun filtering through the leaves was dancing in her orange hair. 
"Uh, hell, uh, I dunno, how 'bout karaoke?" Buck stammered.
"You want to hear me sing, knowing that I'm a Siren?" Adagio said.
"Fuck yes, I do." Buck smirked. "And I bet you want to hear me sing, too."
"Ooooh, confident are we?" 
"I ought to be. I'm pretty damn good at it." Buck said. 
"Buck."
"Yeah?"
"I mean it, Buck. I want to get to know you. We should date, at some point."
"Isn't that what we're doing?"
"I know how sudden this is, but I mean we should Date date Buck. I want you in my life."
"Oh. Ohhh! Oh, wow!" Buck's hand flew to his forehead.
"I won't ask you twice, Buck."
"...I...I'm not saying yes, to that. But, we can go on a couple of dates and see how it works out, okay?"
"...fair enough."
"And I have some ground rules."
"Oh, good. So do I."
"No causing me harm, alright? No breaking into my house, no more crazy murder chasing, no hurting the people I care about. And 'No' means 'No', understand? If you or I says 'No', that's it."
"Is that all?"
"We can come up with more as we go. But boundaries matter."
"Understood. As for my rules...no spilling your seed inside another woman."
"Uh...is uh, is that it?" 
"That's it, Buck."
"...Okay. Well, if we hit up Donut Joe's on Wednesday night, we can catch Open Mic night. Then we can show off."
"Mmm, I've seen you show off already, Buck. I can't wait to see what you have in store for me tomorrow. Entirely coincidentally, would you like to come back to my place and...spend the night?" Adagio said. The predator was creeping back into her smile. She reached out with intentional slowness, placing a gentle hand on Buck's chest.  She squeezed his pectoral muscle slightly. 
Buck full-on blushed. Her hands were so small and delicate, he realized. "If...uh, if it's all the same to you, I think I'd rather take things a little slower." He said.
"Buck, you literally came inside me last night." Adagio pouted. 
"Yeah, well, I'm still kind of freaking out about that, a little bit. I'm not saying we won't do it again, I'm just saying I want to take it easier, okay? Baby steps." 
"...Fine." Adagio said.
"Hey. Earlier, you said, uh...you said you could smell my fear. Is that true?"
"Smell is not entirely accurate. I can taste the emotions of others with a high amount of accuracy." Adagio said
"Huh. Well, what do I, uh, taste like now?" Buck said.  
Adagio slid a hand around the nape of Buck's neck and pulled him closer. She leaned in and took a deep sniff at his neck, then shuddered. When had she crossed over the bar in the middle of the bench? Buck hadn't seen that.
"Mmm...You taste like so many things...affection, fear, lust...so much lust! And greed. You know what you want, and it isn't just one thing. I guess that makes you a bit different from the men in this city. You taste goooood, Buck...." Adagio groaned.
Buck had gone red from the attention. Adagio's eyes were smoldering. They darted down to Buck's hand in his lap and saw it was still shaking.
"I'm not going to hurt you..." She whispered. Buck stood up.
"I'll meet you at Donut Joes tomorrow night. I gotta get back to work." Buck said. Adagio stood and placed her hands on his. A light, surface-level touch. Her hands were soft.
"Thank you for hearing me out, Buck. It was very brave of you."
"Same to you, Adagio." Buck said. It wasn't bravery, he thought to himself. You're way too interesting and sexy and scary to let go. He wanted to say that. He didn't. He just smiled and nodded to her.
"I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow!" He said. 
Buck's hand slid out of Adagio's as he moved to cross the street. He could feel her eyes on him as he walked away. She didn't say anything, and when Buck re-entered Sugar Cube Corner, she was gone.
Buck wasn't sure just what in the name of Jupiter's balls he'd just signed up for, but he realized as he clocked back in from his break that he was far more excited than scared now. A part of him thought he ought to be worried about that.
The rest of him just kept thinking about Adagio, her eyes cast demurely down as she bit her lip, sun dappling in her curly orange locks. Now the day was difficult for a different reason. He truly could not get her off his mind.
> Chapter 6 - And So It Goes (Billy Joel)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Adagio was disgustingly cheerful this evening. She was getting properly dolled up with her natural hair, dressing exactly as she pleased without any consideration for subterfuge or disguise. The sun was setting, the dying light falling away from her bathroom's skylight, bathing her in a golden glow. Adagio grinned in the mirror. She hadn't noticed yesterday, but her thigh gap had returned. Her thigh gap had been critical in her past more than once. A tiny, tantalizing window that gave pause to men and women alike. She chose a pair of viciously tight, dark purple jeans that would show off her hips and thighs. They were strategically ripped up the sides of the legs; from the '90s, she thought. 
She hadn't had this feeling in months-or was it years? How long had she been alone in her little temple in the sky, collecting dust with her effects?
Wallowing in self-pity. 
Disgusting. It didn't matter now, truly it didn't. She was going to be with Him tonight. He would be a shield for her, an arm to hold that would carry her with grace and style through the petty social pressures of Canterlot. 
He didn't know her. He was terrified of her, and rightfully so, but she had seduced him a second time, yesterday. She hated that she'd had to open up a bit to do it, truly, but it had been the right move. She let him see a tiny peek of her, who she was, and he'd fallen into her. It was sloppy, yes, but effective. 
He didn't trust her, very definitely, and he shouldn't. But she had proven too interesting for him to resist. And that wasn't even mentioning the sublimity of her form. This was her favorite way to win. She'd barely lifted a finger, hadn't had to cast a spell. 
His affection yesterday had been restrained. That was on purpose, she suspected. He was guarded, confused about what he was feeling. His love had been a drip-feed. She would get him tonight. How old was he? She'd forgotten to ask. She guessed he was mid-twenties at best. What was that in pony years? Was there a difference? He was probably pushing 30. The '90s would do, tonight.
Adagio was brimming with the power she had drained from him, still, but it was depleting. Her stomach wasn't rumbling, but she knew that soon she'd be hungry, even after the snacks from yesterday. 

Adagio counted her victories. She'd had two this week. Well, one. Buck was a work in progress; he was more complicated than she'd expected. She'd had to compromise for him, just a tiny bit. The interview in contrast was simple. 
This was the oldest scheme that Adagio had used since the Information Age began. A 'high level' opening in a company that required little more than sitting around and counting. A rich, pampered old buffoon in the CEO's seat looking for some toy to throw around so he could feel something again, only picking up applications from pretty young things; the less qualified the better. Adagio was over-qualified, of course, and there was zero doubt she was like a blazing sun compared to the other little fireflies that had applied. 
She'd walked in asking for an application, and later that evening she had received a callback. 
The heat had worked in her favor; her shirt was a few gentle steps away from being see-through due to her sweat, and the blush in her cheeks gave her a decadent glow. She was appetizing, in other words, and stupid old men were always hungry.
Filthy Rich certainly looked hungry. He was a glorified pencil pusher whose company sold...uh, real estate? Or was it paperclips? Some banal griffonshit industry that did nothing but eat and spread and eat and rot. Filthy Rich was a sharp chinned man who had the bearing of a dragon and the temperament of an old donkey with a trust fund. He had cracked after exactly ten minutes into the interview. She had barely said a word to the man before answering the usual questions.
I've been new in town for a few months and I need a big break. I came from a little town on the other coast, but Canterlot is my big shot. I'm trying to work my way up to my own entrepreneur enterprise, and I want to learn proper business here. Yes, I'm very good at math, and spreadsheets are easy for me. Yes, I can type very fast and follow dictation. No, I don't have contacts, but you can look at my portfolio. Yes, I'm staying in town. 
His lust and greed tasted like stale black tea. Cold and irritating and worthless.
Adagio had spent the interview delicately crossing her legs, looking around the room with a sort of awe so compelling it was hard to act out, and occasionally fluttering her eyelashes at the grey-haired moron behind the fancy desk. The opening had gone up recently. He'd very likely almost gotten in trouble with the previous accountant. He was wearing a wedding ring. Adagio's racket was old and easy, just like him. She guessed at a couple of months, and it would be done. All she had to do was do math and look pretty and look away for just a little bit. Easy. 

Tonight would be easy, too. Now here was a project that she would savor. Her move yesterday had been bold; impassioned, but now she needed a bit of distance and a little dangle. She was the perfect lure, she thought, pulling out an old favorite from her closet. It was a leather vest, mulberry color with the bright gold clasps and the studs on the shoulders. A killer. Same with the boots. As a matter of fact, Adagio was very, very certain that these platform combat boots had been used in at least one or two street fights while the Dazzlings had toured. Vicious little spats on the road. They'd never used bodyguards, not even once; what was the point? And so idiots in bars and especially "devoted" fans had occasionally decided to try their luck with the Dazzlings. Their desperate flailing as they were beaten to a pulp was Aria's favorite joke.
A bitter taste stuck to Adagio's tongue. She was alone. But not tonight. Tonight she was going to get him. She would not be alone tonight.  
The hard part was and always would be the hair. Her brilliant amber crown was finally allowed to fly free again. It never tamed easily; an animal unto itself, but tame it she would. Her hair was two days dry, so she made use of another absolute classic. She grabbed her detangler brush and her flat iron and went to work. 

To the surprise of fuck-all nobody, Buck had spent the shift before his date stressing the fuck out. He'd also spent the morning before his shift stressing the fuck out in his apartment, but a little bit louder. What the hell was he thinking? He wasn't going to impress Adagio fucking Dazzle with his karaoke singing ass. She was a fucking pop diva! A professional! And Buck was a professional nothing, and so he'd had to stand in front of the mirror and psyche himself up just to get a change of clothes ready and figure out a song to sing. He wanted to call Ma about this, honestly, but he knew she'd be pissed that he was going for another bad girl. Okay, well the last one he'd called her to cry about wasn't really a bad girl, so much. She'd just left. The one before had too. But then she was a professional too, wasn't she? He guessed she was, now. What had Rara liked? She liked it when he sang funk and really got into it. He caught himself missing his time with Coluratura for a few seconds or minutes. 
He had to focus.
After jerking off and having some breakfast that he'd almost forgotten about, Buck leaned on his Mom's wisdom; "If her standards are high and you don't meet them, then you don't have to worry because she'll pass you over. If they're low and you exceed them, you don't have to worry because she'll raise them for you." Adagio did actually want to see him, after all. She'd asked him out. So, really, all Buck had to do was just be himself and try not to drop anything. Or talk too much. Or fuckin'...god damn it. 
Before he knew it, he was standing outside of Donut Joe's at 9:40 at night. He'd put on an old date getup, which was basically just a black tank top with an open red plaid jacket over it and some tight jeans that would leave a mark on his hips the next day. His hair was back in a high ponytail save for the bangs on the left side of his face which he'd two-stranded and let loose. The bangs puffed up and out, kind of like a rooster's comb. He thought it bespoke confidence; made him feel like the cock of the walk. He was, here, wasn't he? He looked through the window and saw someone belting out "I Wanna Dance With Somebody". They weren't super great sounding, but they were obviously having fun because the crowd was way in on it. Good. They were warmed up. "I've got a shot at not fucking up tonight! That's a change of pace, better fucking capitalize." He said aloud to himself. He took a breath. He was going to be fine, he thought. And then he stopped thinking completely for a moment when he saw Her.
Adagio looked like something out of the grunge music videos he'd seen as a kid. The kind that left little marks on his psyche that would bloom into fetishes during his teen years. She was wearing tall-ass boots and a pair of ripped jeans. He could see her belly button. Her vest was all cleavage and studs. There was a choker around her neck. 
Her hair! Her orangey bangs were up in an adorable bob, with a pair of space buns on top of her head. She had trailing curly golden bangs framing her face that swished down past her shoulders, and the rest of her hair followed behind. 
She had been leaning against the wall, checking her phone when she saw him seeing her. She smirked, and Buck realized that her makeup matched her clothes; dark purple. Her lipstick was almost black. She turned to him, winked. He could see her fucking thigh gap, holy SHIT.
"Fucking hell...Scoots was right. She's going to eat me alive." He muttered. He felt himself waking up inside his pants. He had to play it cool. Adagio was striding towards him. Someone stepping into the diner wanged his shoulder on the threshold on the way in. He'd been distracted by her. So was Buck. He couldn't help it. Everywhere he looked at her was danger and lust.  Every part of her was sizzling hot, to him.
"Ooh, you got dressed for me! Buck, you look like you're going to set something on fire behind the diner." Adagio said, looking him up and down.
"I-Is that good...?" Buck stammered. 
"Mmm...you look charming and a little dangerous." She said. She walked around him, slowly. He jumped a little as the tips of her fingers brushed against his ass. Buck turned to her.
"And you look like you're going to swallow me whole. How in the world do you keep finding new ways to be gorgeous and terrifying?" Buck said. He held a hand out. Even in the light coming from Donut Joe's fluorescent sign, he could see her blushing.
"Oh, it's an art form, Buck." Adagio said. She took his hand, stitched her fingers in his. She squeezed, and her sharp purple nails scratched lightly against the back of Buck's hand. He raised her hand and kissed the back gently.
"That I know. An expensive one, too. Are those boots Poster Girl? They've gotta be a few decades old." Buck said. He held open the door for Adagio. A couple of people stepped through. 
"You know fashion, Buck?" Adagio blinked.
"Enough. I know enough fashion, definitely." Buck said. "C'mon. I've got my usual booth lined up. They know me here."
He placed a tender but insistent hand on the small of Adagio's back and guided her into Donut Joe's. It was a diner with a happy hour that a few years back had set up a karaoke stage. As a result, it had become a popular hookup spot. It even held some concerts for a few underground bands. 
Buck's kinda place. 
As Buck and Adagio pushed through the crowd, Buck put up a fist and a smirk at the eponymous man behind the front counter. Donut Joe was a redwood trunk of a man; all boxy and barrel-chested, not unlike Buck. He was wearing a bowtie that was maybe 20% rhinestone and 80% hilarious, but that was his style. Donut Joe hooked a thumb at the booths. This was an old ritual by now. He held up his wireless mic and gave Buck a quizzical look. Buck mouthed out "Later." Right now, he just wanted to sit with his date and enjoy the atmosphere. The last song had ended, and Buck could see some woman with blue skin and toothpaste-colored hair was swaying and sighing into a rendition of "Tied Together with a Smile". Buck hated Taylor Swift, but he was about to talk over it, so it didn't matter. 

As Buck and Adagio made their way to their booth, they failed to notice two sets of leering eyes across the room. One pair was a piercing blue color, and they looked on with bitter skepticism. The other pair was an aqua color and set behind a pair of slightly wobbly glasses.
"For the last time, they aren't going to notice us! She hasn't seen me even once since the other night, and he's kind of oblivious in the first place." Starlight said. The extent of her disguise was basically a grey hoodie and some black jeans and that was about it. She munched very seriously on a curly fry as she scoped out Buck and Adagio's date. They looked like they were laughing. Fucking gross.
"Well, sure, but you had binoculars before, and now we're in the same room as them...! And hey, lay off Buck, he's a really thoughtful guy." Sunburst said. His frame was like that of a featherweight boxer but without the muscles. His hair was well brushed, but not well combed; the dark orange sorta wavy bangs always a little bit in his face. He had a goatee that he swore by and this was a hill that he was prepared to die on. Tonight he was wearing a navy blue jean jacket.
"Yeah, he looks real thoughtful. He's thinking really hard about her cleavage right now." Starlight spat. This was true. Buck's eyes kept slipping south while he and Adagio chatted and pushed through the crowd. Adagio didn't seem to care.
"Oh, right, that's Her. Man, poor Buck...getting mixed up with someone like her." Sunburst said.
"Right, and that's why we're here. She's an evil sea witch. If she pulls something I can stop her and you can get Buck out of here." Starlight said. It was taking them some time to make it to the booth. The diner was packed. She was whispering something in his ear.
"Babe, are you sure she's dangerous? She seems like she's just here to enjoy herself."
"Trust me, Sunburst. She's overflowing with magical energy, She's powerful, and it's got to be coming from somewhere, so we need to figure out the how and where, and also watch out in case she goes postal. This is normal monster busting stuff."  
"Really? Because it feels a lot like stalking a nice woman who is into my best friend."
"She is not nice, Sunburst, she's an emotion draining vampire who happens to have your friend on a string right now, and she's wearing Goth Boots to a karaoke bar."
"Okay, well, are you going to finish those fries?"

Adagio was surprised. When Buck had seen her in her battle armor tonight, he hadn't swooned. His lust had flared up, but then it eased as they stepped into the long diner. As a matter of fact, she now tasted awe on him, and far less lust. He was looking at her like a marble statue in a museum, a distant, reverent affection. He thought she was a piece of art. And he was right, of course, but she could be far, far more than something pretty to gawk at. 
Buck wasn't looking at her at the moment. As they strode over to their booth, people were waving to him; the regulars of this place, she surmised. They were dropping him nods and he was shooting finger guns. They were waiting for something. The rest of the eyes that they passed trained on Adagio, which was natural. She sipped and sampled at their attractions. There was much lust in this place, that was true, but it seemed that Jocularity was the flavor of the night. She wondered if Buck's presence had something to do with that.
She sat across from him and picked up her menu, which was a slightly depressing parade of pun names for greasy dishes. She said a hail mary for her hips as she decided on a side of fries, hopefully in their smallest size. An extremely nondescript waiter came and took their orders and menus, saying practically nothing to Buck. "That server seems almost afraid of you, Buck." Adagio said.
"Norman? Nah, he's been serving me for a coupl'a years. He just knows me, knows I don't...uh...I don't really like to be served, you know?"
"I don't. What do you mean by that?"
"I dunno, I guess I'm just not super comfortable with being waited on hand and foot."
"Well, why not, Buck? That is his job, isn't it?" 
"Sure, but, I dunno, I'm not fond of the royal treatment. Makes me feel, makes me feel put on the spot. I don't, uh..." Buck looked away for a moment. Adagio waited for him. He tasted thoughtful. Reticent. He was a Bard, certainly, but he had to look for the right words. Was he composing a verse? "I don't think I really deserve that kind of thing." Buck admitted. It was just a bit above a whisper. Shame. Adagio tasted his shame. What in the world had he to be ashamed of?
"Well, that's preposterous. You pay for your food, you're especially handsome and sweet, I presume you tip well?"
"...yep."
"So you deserve to be treated well." Adagio said. She struck the table with her nail for emphasis. 
"If you insist. Man, I didn't have you pegged for a princess type. That's new." Buck smirked. Adagio's eyes lit up for a moment. He thought she was an absolute monarch.
"Nothing new to Me, Buck. I know my worth, and it's far more than anyone else in this little cesspool." Adagio huffed, flipping her hair. 
"Oof. Cesspool? Do you mean this diner, or the city...or the country?" 
"Canterlot. It's not even close to the Canterlot I knew." Adagio said.
"Uh...?"
"I told you, Buck. Older than I look." Adagio said, smiling. Their food came back quick as a whip. This was an old routine for Buck, it seemed.
"Oh, so you lived in Canterlot way back in the day, then?"
"In a manner of speaking. My Canterlot is separated from this one by a bit more than just time."
"Oooh, mysterious!" Buck said. He'd ordered a maple bacon burger. Adagio wondered how he maintained his physique. Well, this must be an occasional treat, this meal, otherwise, he'd be more than just a bit paunchy. He took a big bite right out of the center. Adagio began picking at her fries. 
"You know, I'm surprised, Buck. I expected you to still be frightened by me. You're remarkably calm, considering the circumstances." Adagio watched Buck as he chewed and stroked his chin, his eyes on the ceiling. It reminded Adagio a little of how donkeys chewed hay. Would Buck have been a donkey? No, no, definitely a pony. Not sure which breed.
"Oh, I'm still real intimidated by you. Not often I get to walk in here with the most gorgeous woman in the world." Buck said, after swallowing his bite.
"First time?" Adagio smirked.
"Yeah. But no, I'm not afraid of you so much, now." 
"Oh?" Adagio frowned. 
"Well, yeah. You said you wouldn't hurt me, and I believe you." Buck said. He reached out to touch Adagio's hand. She pulled her hand back. No. She wouldn't let him take the initiative here. She drew her wit. 
"Even knowing what I am, now, you trust me? Do you think that's wise, Buck? You heard that purple idiot; I'm a monster. Shouldn't you be frightened?" Adagio said. He was growing far too comfortable after their meeting on the bench. He was cuter on the back foot, like most men. 
"You're not a monster, Adagio, you're just built different from me." Buck said it like it was the most natural thing in the world. His smile was sweet. And patronizing. 
"I am a devilish beast of the abyss from another world. 'Built Different' doesn't begin to describe it. There was a time when men would flee from my sight, and others would run at me with open arms. What makes you think I won't kill you once I've had my way, Buck?" Adagio made sure to show a bit of tooth. She saw the briefest flash of red light on Buck's face. Her eyes must have blinkered for just a moment there. Adagio grinned wider. She was built for drama, she knew. She was in her element.
"Ooh, I know this one! 'In place of a Dark Lord you would have a Queen! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love me and despaaaaaair!" Buck said. His eyes rolled back in his head and he gestured like an old thespian. Adagio was dumbfounded. She sniffed the air and found humor. Like a sticky banana taffy. It reminded her of Sonata. 
"What, aint'cha seen Lord of the Rings?" Buck said, grinning. 
"I read it, oh, ages and ages ago."
"Are you for real?" 
"You're mocking me, aren't you?" Adagio said. 
"What? No! Yeesh, there's a frown that could make a lemon pucker. Listen. I Know you aren't a monster. A monster would'a smeared me across the walls of that hotel to keep her secret. A monster wouldn't have opened up on me like you did on the bench, before." Buck said. He was counting on his fingers. Adagio blushed when he brought up that damn bench. She'd let out a little too much, it seemed. He wouldn't catch her lacking like that again. "A monster wouldn't have respected my boundaries at Sugar Cube Corner." He finished.
"Perhaps I'm simply not the kind of monster you were expecting. I could still drag you under the water, kicking and screaming." She leaned forward and grinned at him. He looked nonplussed.
"Your bathtub ain't that deep, 'dagio." He said. Ooh, she didn't like it when he acted cute like this. 
"I could still eat you, Buck." Adagio growled.
"Ooh, threaten me with a good time! Do I have'ta ask nicely?" Buck purred. Adagio bit her lip. He was quite a talented duelist after all.
"You're incorrigible." Adagio huffed, looking away to hide her smile.
"My ma called me hard-headed, but sure. You like me anyway, though, don't you?" This time when he touched her hand, he looped his pinkie in hers. Adagio could feel an intense heat creeping into her cheeks. It was coming from him, of course. Bald affection. 
He thought she was cute.
"If I didn't, you certainly wouldn't be here with me right now, Buck." Adagio hissed.
"Mm. It's an honor, by the way." Buck said, smiling. She could feel him smiling. She refused to look at him.
"Isn't it?" Adagio said.
"Yeah. Out of all the guys in this town, I'm the one you didn't leave out in the cold." Buck said. Adagio turned to him, then.
"Buck, you couldn't possibly imagine the amount of cold, dead men I've left in my wake."  She fixed him with a glare. His pinky finger twitched away from hers. She grabbed his wrist.  
"Rrr...Right. But they were all bastards, right?" Buck assumed aloud. Adagio's smile crept back onto her face.
"Oooh, Buck...no, Buck. I have been hunting for thousands of years, Buck. And I've had plenty of practice gobbling up good little boys, just like you." Adagio's voice dipped low, dripping with menace. Buck went a bit pale. There it was. Fear. He tasted sublime. 
Adagio started laughing. She snorted. "Kidding! I'm kidding, Buck!" She said, flapping her hand at him. 
She was lying. 
"Mother of fuckin' mercy, woman." Buck said. His clenched knuckles were as pale as his face.
"You're half right, by the way. I do mostly pray on bastardous idiots. I go to bars from time to time, smile and wiggle a little and suddenly they flock to me like lost little lambs."
"Uh...huh."
"And then I drink them, Buck." Adagio said, licking her lips slowly. 
"That's...do you need to do that?"
"Yes, of course, Buck. I need to eat to live. And sometimes I want a snack."
"That's fucked up."
"That is what I Am, Buck. A predator. Did you forget?" She said. 
"But you can eat food, right? You don't need to drain people's emotions, do ya?"
"I do. I'm not myself unless I have a somewhat consistent stream of emotional energy, which I need to drain from people. If I don't, I'll die. It's simply who I am. A monster." 
"You're not a monster, Adagio." Buck said. His hand was shaking. 
"And what would You know, Buck? Hm? You don't know what it means to be a beast, Buck. To pursue, and to catch and to have your way...it sustains me. And even if it didn't, the thrill of it alone would be enough! You're human; you could never understand." Adagio said. Her smile was gone. Bucks eyes fell away from her and onto his plate.
"You'd be surprised..."  He mumbled.
"What was that?" Adagio said. She'd heard him, of course, but she wanted him to say it. 
What was he holding back from her?
"I said, You're more than That, Adagio. I know that much."
"...You don't fucking know me, Buck." Adagio spat. She crossed her arms.
"Yeah. That's why I'm here." He sighed. He looked at her then, and his golden eyes seemed like distant stars. What was she doing? She had come to reel him in, not push him away! Adagio closed her eyes, took a breath. Counted to ten.
"Let me show You, Buck." Adagio said. It was more of a growl, now. The gentle warning of a rattlesnake about to strike. She was being polite. Restrained. But he was underestimating her, and if this was going to work; if she was going to have him, that wouldn't do. He needed to see her properly for what she was. Adagio got up and went to Donut Joe at the counter. She spoke a few sweet and urgent words, and he looked over her shoulder at Buck, who gave him a nervous thumbs up. 

"Hey hey, ladies and gentlemen, tonight we've got a real treat for you!" Donut Joe's gravely voice came through the speakers. "The self-described Terror of the Deep, the Wicked Witch of the Waves, come back to Canterlot to cast a spell on all you Poor Unfortunate Souls! Give it up for Adagio Dazzle!" The crowd was instantly hit with a wave of confusion. Some knew the name, most didn't. And then they saw Adagio strutting up the mic stand, and they began to cheer as they should. 

Adagio's selection for the night was a relatively recent addition to her repertoire, but Buck didn't know that. He saw her step up to the mic and slowly look around at the cheering bar. 
She blew a little kiss as the cheering slowed, then cracked her neck close to the mic so everyone could hear the popping noise. 
Dead silence trailed behind that sound. Adagio gave them all her sharp, toothy grin. And then she fixed her eyes on Buck. The song began, and Buck knew instantly that he was in trouble. He knew this song. Hell, he had used this song, a while back. And now, she was turning it on him. I Know I'm a Wolf, by Young Heretics. The opening piano notes chimed softly, eerily. They were like a dirge. Adagio's gaze reached out slowly, snatched Buck's attention up, and refused to let it go. 

"Dear Rabbit, my legs are getting weak, chasing you.
The snowfields wouldn't seem so big, if you knew...
That this blood on my teeth, it is far beyond dry.
And I've captured you Once, but I wasn't quite right."
Adagio's voice began high and sweet and tender, but as the song slowly crept along, her voice got lower and huskier. She was moving, stepping so slowly toward Buck that it was like she was floating.
"Now I'm telling you, that you'll be Safe with Me~"
A haze was slowly misting off her. Her eyes blinkered with that red light, just briefly, and then Buck could feel it happening again. The atmosphere in the diner was changing.

Adagio kept her gaze on Buck. He would not be escaping tonight. With each breath between bars, she could taste the arousal stalking through the bar. Lips being bitten, knees turning inward. Sweat. Heat. They all wanted something, probably didn't know what exactly. She knew what she wanted, however. Her steps were measured and silent. Her hips swung like a pendulum. She approached her prey. 
"And rabbit...my claws are dull now, so don't be afraid.
I could Keep You Waaarm~
As long as you can just try...to be braaave~!"
The notes came out as a growling moan. The sound of pillow talk and hollow promises. A song of pure lust. She began to lose herself.
"Yes I know I'm a Wolf, and I've been known to bite.
But the rest of my pack...I have left them behiiind..."
She was upon him now. She didn't know when she crossed the room, but she was in front of him, leaning forward. The only thing separating them was a bit of space and the microphone. Her finger came up to his chin like a vulture's talon. She tilted his head up to face her. He was sweating. She could taste how hard he was. Wait.
"And my teeth may be sharp, 
and I've been raised to kill,
But the thought of Fresh Meat
it is making me iiiill~"
She was staring at Buck. Smoldering. She was in control of this place, now. He had gone from In Love to Terrified to Comfortable all too quickly, and she was correcting that. Right?
"So I'm telling you, that you'll...be...safe...with..."
And then the note came. Adagio felt like she was dying of thirst. She breathed deep of all the lust and envy and greed in the diner and let fly with a banshee wail. The word was supposed to be "Me". 'Safe with Me', but Adagio howled and shrieked in a beautifully haunted way that made the entire room shudder. People toward the back of the crowd were touching each other. Some were excusing themselves. The bridge came. Adagio opened her eyes. Somewhere in the crowd, there was fear. But it wasn't coming from Buck. Her gaze caught him again. He was watching her with wide eyes.
"So Rabbit...please stop looking the other way.
It's cold out there...so why not stay here
under my taaaaaaaaail~?"
The last note drifted and died a quiet death on Adagio's tongue. Somewhere in the back of the bar, something small and powerful shattered. The room was silent. Buck was staring at her. He should be ready to run or to pounce. He was neither. Through the haze of sexual energy in the room, Buck's emotion shone like a spotlight. His golden eyes were filled with awe. And then it all broke down. Buck raised his hands in front of his chest. He began to clap, slowly.

And Adagio tasted the energy in the room change. Buck stood and clapped harder, and a smattering
of applause murmured through the room. Then someone whistled and someone shouted and then the whole bar erupted into uproarious applause. Adulation. Amazement. Amusement. It rained down on Adagio like a shower of sweet confetti. She hadn't felt this way since the last concert that she and the girls had performed. 
And there, still, from Buck, Awe. Love. He cheered for her and rolled his fist in the air and rallied the crowd. A standing ovation. How long had it been? 
They Adored her. 
Adagio was lost in it, for a moment, then she curtsied to the diner and she blew kisses and she sidled into the booth, sitting next to Buck this time. He didn't look afraid; he was grinning. 
He should be afraid of me, she thought. Instead, she could taste him bubbling over with amusement and affection and love. Amazement, and far, far in the back, that rising lust was holding it all up. His feelings tasted like a banquet, all spilling out from behind his golden eyes, and for the briefest moment, Adagio was lost in them.

"Can I kiss you?" 
"Hm?" Adagio was in a daze. She had heard maybe two or three words that he'd said. 
"I'd very much like to kiss you right now, Miss Adagio Dazzle." Buck said, slower. Everything seemed to be slower right now. Adagio's thoughts certainly were. What was different, here, exactly? Her tongue had been in his mouth only a day ago. Why was she getting nervous? Her cheeks were burning. She smiled then, and she saw Buck's eyebrows fly up. His smile deepened, and she felt herself surrounded by his Love. She nodded to him, leaned up, and puckered her lips. 
Buck slid a big meaty arm around Adagio's shoulders. He cupped Adagio's chin in his hand and pulled her close. She placed a hand on his chest. Pushed just a bit, the tiniest bit of resistance. He leaned in. His lips were soft as pillows, and as they touched Adagio's own she realized why this felt so different. This was their first Real Kiss. It wasn't the sloppy drunken affair they'd had a few nights ago, this was Buck's kiss. 
It was like feathers dancing on Adagio's lips, though that may have just been his stubble. So tender and so small and so fast it felt like a question. Like he was asking for permission. Adagio could feel his heart pounding under her hand. Somewhere far away, the bar was cheering and wooing. 
She answered him. She leaned in further, kissed him forcefully. She kneaded his chest with her fingers. He was so warm. Buck whined softly against her mouth, and began kissing her more urgently; sweet, fierce little pecks, peppering her lips. He was letting himself go. His hand on her chin reached up, his fingers slid up into her hair.  Adagio pulled him even closer by the tank top. She bit his lip. She moaned softly against his mouth. His other hand was holding the small of her back.
She began to Drink. His love tasted like chocolate and mint and gold leaf, and there was so much of it. It was growing hotter, his lust far below like a furnace coming to life. She was trembling. The tip of his tongue touched her lips. He hummed softly, whined. The man was starving for love. Starving for her. 
Adagio wanted to do more, would have done more, but Buck pulled away, leaving Adagio breathless and love drunk. He reached out with a gentle thumb, he traced her bottom lip. She had seen the look in his eyes before, somewhere. She couldn't remember. It frightened her, that look, but not as much as the words that came next. 

"I See You, Adagio Dazzle." Buck said, and Adagio felt the world rising up to meet her. Like she was falling. And then she heard another voice. 

"Alright you animals! Alright, settle down!" The voice was halfway between a rock tumbler and a jersey accent. It was the diner's owner. What was his name? Where was she? "Next up we got a local favorite!  Our hometown hard lad, our very own Karaoke King finally come back to rule the roost! Give it the fuck Up! For BUCK!" He shouted. The bar erupted into cheers once more, and Adagio felt another wave of adulation rock her. 
"Wait, you're the 'What' King?" Adagio said, dazed.
Buck had already scooched out the other side of the booth. He smiled at her. Winked. He took slow steps to the microphone, shooting finger guns and waving at the crowd. Adagio could feel it. They adored him. 

Meanwhile, Buck was screaming internally. He was running at full sprint away from the booth, in his mind. That was...that was the first time he'd kissed her. She'd kissed him before, but not like this. He'd gone in, and...it was real. 
Holy shit. 
Neither of them was drunk and she'd let him kiss her. She'd wanted to kiss him. His cheeks hurt from smiling so hard. He felt hot and embarrassed, but as he stepped out of the booth and into his kingdom, the heat cooled and he was back to smirking and nodding at the good folks in Donut Joe's. 
"You the man, dude!"
"Letrostski." Buck said with a dip of the head. He was a good guy, that Jeff. 
"Knock 'em dead, Buck!" Buck gave a thumbs up. Brown Betty, was that her name? Related to AJ, he thought.
"HAVE MY BABIES, BUCK!" 
"Heeeyberrypunchniceseeyoumaybegoeasyonthescotchhuh?" Buck mumbled. He stepped up to the mic.
He opened his mouth to speak, but the crowd was still going. He hoped desperately that Adagio couldn't see his knees shake as he took a deep breath.
"Alright SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Buck shouted into the mic, smiling. Chuckles rolled through the crowd as they quieted down. "Hey, y'all know what I'm about, guys, but tonight I'm not doin' my usual sexy clown shoes routine!" Buck said. There were scattered "Awwws..." around the bar. He smirked and pointed. "Sorry y'all, but it looks like all the sex appeal in the city's been reserved for that one over there!" 
He saw Adagio startle and give a diplomatic wave as she was showered with cheers and whistles. "Amazing, right? So no sexy from me tonight, sorry! Instead, I'mma need y'all to help me out on this one. By shuttin' up! Because this song isn't for you guys! It's for Her. It's a sappy-ass oldie called 'And So It Goes'. Hit it, Joe!" 

https://soundcloud.com/user-172575235/and-so-it-goes-buck-edition-acapella

From Buck's exuberance and the crowd's reaction, Adagio had expected Buck to tumble into something spirited and jocular, maybe a Bruno Mars or Journey, or some other song that amateurs liked to sing in bars. Instead, Buck began humming softly to a gentle piano staff. The bar fell away again, and Buck lifted the chair sitting behind the microphone, unhooked the mic, and sat. 
"In every heart, there is a room. 
A sanctuary safe and strong.
To heal the wounds of lovers past
until a new one comes along."
His voice was in a register lower than the original track. He sang in a deep, honeyed baritone. His half-lidded eyes reached to Adagio across a dark sea. 
"I spoke to you in cautious tones...
you answered me with no pretense.
And still I feel I said too much
my silence is my self defense." 
Buck took a deep breath. Wait. Was he singing about the conversation on the bench? Was he singing about her or himself? Adagio pondered this as Buck's voice rose miraculously into a raw tenor falsetto.
"And everyyyyyy tiiiiime I held a roooooose...
it seems I always felt the thorns..."
His voice was so close to cracking, she could tell, but he rode the brief crescendo elegantly as the crowd whooped.
"And so it goes, and so it goes, and you're the only one who knooooows~" A pause. The sweat on his brow shined in the little spotlight. His voice. When she heard him sing, she could see him. 
"But if my silence made you leave
then that would be my worst mistake."
He was this treasure box, all wrapped and tied up, sitting at the bottom of a trench.  
"And so I'll share this room with you, 
and you can have this heart to break."
Some damn fool had carelessly dropped him overboard. Buck's head turned away, and he shut his eyes.
"And this is why my eyes are closed
it's just as well for all I've seen.
And so it goes and so it goes
and you're the only one who knooooows..."
And Adagio had found him, and he was going to be Hers. Buck had risen from the chair. He walked across the sea, straight to her. She tasted the air around him. He was so vulnerable, now. 
Love, acceptance, love, patience, love, fear, love, hope. They drifted into her on his voice. 
"So I would choose to be with you.
That's if the choice were mine to make."
He chuckled, just a little at the end, there. She wanted him so bad.
"But you can make decisions too,
and you can have this heart to break."
He was leaning over her now. When had he gotten so close? He seemed a giant to her, then. A towering lighthouse over  a stormy sea. She didn't want to taste it, but she was surrounded by it. Love. She felt invincible and small in his shadow. He turned, the melody drifting away as he walked slowly back to the microphone stand. She was glad for that. She felt like she was going to melt under his gaze.
"And so it goes and so it goes...
and you're the only one who knows."
The refrain was was sweet and delicate. Like his kisses. And then, silence. But not for long.

The crowd blew it's top. The cheering honestly hurt Buck's ears, it was so fucking loud. The crowd closed on him as he made his way back to the booth.
"Lover boy! Lover boy! Ooooohhh!!!" *THUMP* Buck stepped over Berry Punch, giving high fives and fist bumps.
"Jesus dude just fucking marry her already!" Buck laughed and stepped and slid through the crowd.
"Buck you gotta show me how you did that high shit, man!" Buck was nodding and smiling, pushing his way through until the sea parted and he saw Adagio looking at him the way a cow looks at an oncoming train. Her whole damn face was red. Okay, so he did a good job. Phew. 

At the back of the bar, Starlight Glimmer was seething. "You saw that! You saw that, right!? She cast a spell!"
If she'd been shouting, it would have been a shriek. Instead it came out as a hissing whisper shout. She was staring at Sunburst, who eyes were wide. He was looking at Buck and Adagio. 
"I don't know, Starlight, it just sounded like a really sexually charged song." 
"You had a boner through the whole thing!" 
"You would too, if you saw that and also had a dick, Starlight." Sunburst said. "Are you blushing?" He smirked. Starlight pinched the bridge of her nose. 
"Yeah, well every other guy in here also had a boner. At the same time! I'm telling you, that was enchantment! Didn't you see the red eyes?" 
"No, mostly just her hips." Sunburst said. He zipped his yap when he saw the murder in his girlfriend's eyes. 
"Well, well, you tell me, is Buck acting funny? He's nothing like the way you describe him! Isn't he supposed to be, like anxious and nerdy? He was up there killing it!" Starlight huffed. 
"He's in his element. He likes to perform, Starlight. He's got other hobbies besides jerking off and writing articles, you know. He's like an entire human being." Sunburst said. His dry wit seemed to light a bulb over Starlight's head. 
"Well look at his goofy face! You told me he's often depressed, right? Have you ever seen him this happy?" Starlight flapped an impatient hand at them. Sunburst squinted, then smiled. 
"No. No I haven't."
"So you agree! She's got him under her spell!" Starlight said. Buck and Adagio were chatting while the bar crowd fawned over them. 
"...No, Starlight, I don't think so."
"Huh?"
"I think he's just in love."
Starlight frowned deep, then reached into her pocket. She'd had a charm in there, just in case their was funny business.
It was a charm of protection, a little crescent moon made of quartz that she'd put an enchantment on. It was broken.

Someone, somewhere in the crowd had shouted "Duet!" and then everyone around Adagio was chanting it. She saw Buck look around and then shrug his shoulders, helplessly,
"You uh...d'ya know Redbone?" He said, scratching the back of his head. Adagio smiled. She didn't want to say anything, because her voice would be squeaky and mousey, she just knew it. She felt feverish, suddenly. She nodded to Buck. He took took her hand and grinned, pulling her up to her feet.
"Sweet." He said, turning around. "Hey Joe! Hit me with the usual!" He shouted. 
The crowd cheered as the first twanging notes of "Come and Get Your Love" started blasting out of the speakers. Buck pulled Adagio out onto the dance floor, reached back and grabbed the microphone. He began, and then held the microphone between them. Adagio grabbed his hand over the mic and sang the next stanza right back. 
They twirled around each other; one dancing while the other sang. It was silly and Buck's voice cracked once or twice, and Adagio almost stepped on his feet but it was funny and loud and Adagio giggled and spun into Buck's arms and they shoulder-rolled together and caterwauled and as they were catcalling the chorus back and forth at each other, Adagio realized that this was going to be a far more difficult project than she had anticipated. He had swept her up in his rhythm, literally swept her off her feet! He could spar and he could sing and he was genuine and she hadn't had so much fun in so so long. She didn't just want him. She needed this.

Across the diner, Starlight stormed out the door with Sunburst on her heels, dragging him by the wrist, while Buck and Adagio tore up the dance floor, gyrating and laughing and tossing the melody back and forth playfully. The crowd had gotten in on it, singing and screaming the line "COME AND GET YOUR LOVE" while Adagio and Buck scatted out the end of the song. Their shoulders were bouncing and their hips were touching and then she was grinding on him and then she reached up and...
She didn't know when she started kissing him. She hadn't asked, like he had. Her kiss was ravenous and thirsty and demanding, not needy and sweet and honest like his. She groaned into his mouth and pressed up against him. Her tongue invaded his mouth in a matter of seconds, licking the back of his teeth. She felt his hand on her stomach squeeze as the crowd went nuclear around them. 
"HOOOO BOY Lookit that bacon sizzle! Let's hear it for the power couple, huh!?" Donut Joe said over the speakers. 
The crowd just kept going crazy. Buck and Adagio separated slowly, her hand trailing down his cheek as she pulled away. Buck could almost swear that she had hearts in her eyes. She was glowing in the light of the diner. 
"Well, go on." Adagio said.
"Huh?" Buck tilted his head. The crowd was parting, letting them pass as they walked toward the back door.
"You look like you're dying to ask me something." Adagio said. She looked like she was walking in a dream, Buck thought. He hadn't seen her like this before. She was lightly running her fingers up and down his arm. 





The sounds of the bar were cut off by a door slamming. It was cool out here.
"Well, uh...first I want to say that you were great up there. I mean, I expected you to be very good, but you sang into my soul up there and-"
"Buck. Relax. I'm already impressed. You have talent, and more importantly, skill. What do you want to ask me?" Buck leaned down, whispering in her ear.
"Would you mind telling me about it?"  He said. Adagio deftly turned and lightly backed Buck up against the brick wall. Buck was certain it looked like they were making out. Adagio ran her hands along his chest. 
"About what, Buck?" She said, softly. She sounded lost in thought. 
"Your life, Adagio. Your story. You're the most interesting person I've ever met and I just..."
"You want to know me, Buck~?" She said softly in his ear. She stood up on her tiptoes and nipped at his ear lobe, giggling when he gasped. 
"Y-Y-Yeah. I want to know how you got here, and everything that came before and after that."
"That is...a long story." Adagio said. She kissed the side of his neck slowly, putting pressure on it so her lipstick would leave as much a mark as possible. At least, that's what it felt like. Was she trying to mark him? Was that a Siren thing to do? 
"Well, you don't have to tell it all at once."
"Are you asking to come back to my suite?"
"...Yeah." 
"Of course you're welcome to come home with me, Buck~. Anytime you like." Her hands slid around his waist and started gently feeling up his back. Buck was getting hot, and hard.
"So you can t-tell me your story. And, maybe we could cuddle some?" Buck said. Adagio pressed her nose against his chest and took a long sniff. Her knee was rising slowly between his legs. 
"Yessss, Buck. Whatever you want...oh, but." Adagio said, taking a step back. She put a finger to her chin in mock concentration. She couldn't hide her smile. "...it Is a private matter. What will I get if I tell you?" She said, tracing a circle.
"Well, you'll get my gratitude." Buck said. Adagio frowned. Fuck, he couldn't fight that frown, it was fucking adorable!
"And, and I'll make you breakfast again, how about that?"  He felt his pants tightening, the button straining like it was about to pop off like a fucking rifle round. 
Why was he so nervous? What the hell was going on, he thought he was being mister smooth tonight and now, well shit. He'd said he'd wanted to take things slower before, but that line of reasoning was getting so flimsy that soon the button that shot off his pants would shatter it as it left the fucking atmosphere. 
Adagio was grinning now. She was hugging him, looking up at him with a viciously smug smile. 
"And...?"
"What, uhhhh...what else do you want?" Buck said. 
Adagio's eyebrow raised. Her smile turned toothy. She had him.

Within the next thirty minutes, she was belly down on her bed, groaning and begging and whimpering 
to Buck, who was looming over her back.
> Chapter 7 - Just a Closer Walk With Thee (Selah Jubilee Singers)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Adagio was biting the pillow beneath her. She was naked and wet and hot. Her whole body was blushing, her nails scraping the sheets. "Mmmnnghhh...! Mmm...AGH! Wait wait wait, Buck...ssss....mmmnaah...!" She was groaning and shuddering. Her eyes were screwed shut as she quaked. Buck was above her, breathing softly. 
He pushed, gently but firmly and Adagio yelped. 
"...you okay, Adagio? Is that good? Am I hurting you?" Buck said. His concern was touching, honestly and she wanted to tap out, but she Had to endure this. Her throat was hoarse from moaning and squealing. She let the pillow go free and gasped as he pushed in deeper. 
"I'm...I'm f-f-fine, Buck! Keep, keep going! It's fiiiIIIINEEEEEE...!!!" Her sentence broke into a squeal and then a muffled scream. Her leg kicked up and tapped Buck's back as he worked her. He let up briefly and reached over to wipe a tear from her eye. 
"We don't have to go hard, you know, if I'm hurting you, we can-"
"SHUT UP!" Adagio screeched, glaring at him over her shoulder. "Don't you dare stop!" A command. If he truly respected her wishes, he wouldn't stop. He didn't. Adagio felt pain and pleasure shoot through her as he dug in deeper. She was trying to control her breathing, but it instead came out as ragged, desperate gasps as Buck kept going.
Despite her bravado in the moment, Adagio planted her face back into the pillows and she screamed in agony and ecstasy. He was going harder and faster, back there. Now it seemed like a challenge to see how long she could endure this. Adagio refused to be defeated, even face down with Buck behind her. He had only been down there for five minutes.
"You're really cute like this..." Buck said. Adagio drank in his emotions if only to get her mind off the overwhelming sensation. Love. Of course. But more than that, sugary affection and amusement. He didn't want to do this if it hurt her, but he liked to see her this way; squealing and quivering and breaking before him. A little notebook in the back of her head stored this for later, while the rest of her screamed curses and adulations and Buck's name. 
"Fuck...ssss...mmnnaaAAH! Buck, mm! Buck, why are you so good at this!?" She squealed. Fuck. She hadn't meant to say that out loud. She tasted his pride swell. It was like a hearty, savory steak. She groaned as Buck began to go lighter and faster. Her body was bouncing, her toes curling. 
"Years of practice, hun." Buck said, nonchalantly as he pressed in hard again. Adagio's back arched and she screamed.
"Who, who the FUCK made you practice this!?" Adagio said after she finished wailing. He was still going. How? How was there more? 
"...you know, you asked Me to do this to you. You seem to be enjoying yourself, but if you're really hurting then we can stop, Adagio. I won't be mad, or anything." Buck said. She felt his hand wander and stroke her side. Pity. Caution. Concern. Adagio felt something tiny in her snap like a twig. 
"Oh, don't you DARE patronize Me, Purple Prose!" She spat. "You are going to get IN THERE, and you are going to FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED...!" She said. Her knees were turning in.
"...Alright, you asked for it. Take a deep breath, now." Buck said. It was a brief warning, but Adagio obeyed.
And then she felt the wind knocked out of her as Buck pressed in hard and suddenly. It was like a punch. There was a loud snapping sound and Adagio went totally limp for a moment as Buck finished cracking her back.

"...you good, Adagio? I've had painful massages before, but I think you've got even me beat when it comes to knots and sore back muscles." Buck said. 
Adagio had gotten all sweet on him after karaoke, and they'd gone back to her suite. She had agreed to tell Buck about her life and times, but in exchange, Buck would have to do Something for her. That something had turned out to be a full shoulder, back, and legs massage. She'd liked what he did the morning after they'd met, and she wanted him to give her the works. And so he had. 
Buck had put his practice to good use, rolling and kneading and pinching and stretching Adagio's muscles. The poor thing was full of knots and stress, especially in her trapezius and especially especially in her lower back, which was basically a fucking minefield of muscle soreness. Even now, she was groaning face down in her pillows while Buck ran the heels of his palms around the sore area. 
"Mmmm....thankyouthankyouthankyou..." Adagio moaned under her breath. Fucking adorable, she was.
She was also soaked down between her thighs. Buck had discovered through the course of his ministrations so far that Adagio had to be some kind of masochist, at least a little bit because instead of just screaming bloody murder, she'd been quivering and moaning and gyrating the whole time he worked her muscles. Her right arm was up, pinning her tresses of hair to the bed above her head, while the other dug into the sheets. Her back was soaked with sweat from the exertion, her pale yellow skin shining in the dim light of her bedroom. Her skin was flawless. Buck had been amazed at how smooth and plush she was as he ran his fingers along her tender back. She cooed softly in relief as he stroked her up and down, as gently as he would a kitten.
"Aaaaaaahhh....You're so sweet, Buck~." She sighed, dreamily and dumbly. Okay, good, she wasn't pissed at him for really working those knots as she asked. This wasn't a test. God, she was fucking gorgeous from the back! There was a smattering of tiny freckles on the back of her neck and on her shoulders, and she had a tan line around her neck. Man, she really liked chokers. Buck's eyes wandered helplessly and got lost in the curve of her hips and...wait, were those dimples? 
"Huh. Well would you look at that..." Buck mumbled. Buck was still fully clothed, though he'd taken his plaid shirt off, leaving him in his black tank top as he saw to Adagio's needs.
"Mm? At what-ah!" Adagio squeaked. Buck had found the dimples, right above where her lower back began to properly slope down, and he found that his thumbs fit in them just about perfectly. He was grabbing where love handles would be on Adagio if she wasn't a flawless fucking marble statue of a woman, and his hands seemed Designed for the task of holding her by the waist. Adagio hissed as he pressed his thumbs in.
"ssssSSS! Tender Buck, tender...!" She simpered. 
"Sorry 'bout that..." Buck said. Buck's eyes were strolling casually downward again, and his vision was eclipsed by Adagio's glorious fucking ass. He wanted to do fucking EVERYTHING to that ass. "...sorry, you're just-"
"Sweaty?" Adagio giggled. 
"Fucking Gorgeous."
*SLAP*
Buck's hand came down on Adagio's asscheek with a firm and affectionate slap. Adagio yelped at his surprise attack. Buck then grabbed a handful of ass and squeezed. He licked his lips as Adagio let out a low, shaky moan into the pillow.
"Cheeky...!" She said. 
"Yeah you are." Buck said.
*SLAP*
"Aah~! You stop that!" Adagio barked suddenly. "I'm a mess!"
"Yeah, that's fine, so am I." Buck said. He laid down in front of Adagio then. Smiling at her as he looked into her eyes. Usually, they were a pair of magenta gemstones that threatened to drag Buck underwater like a riptide. Right now, they were slightly delirious from the exertion. She was panting and a strand of hair had fallen onto her face, caught in the corner of her mouth. Buck reached out to tenderly tuck that strand behind her ear, then stroke her hot cheek.
"Hello, handsome." Adagio giggled, biting her lip.
"Hiya," Buck said, casually. She was the most beautiful woman in the world. "You wanna take a break? I still need to hit the low spots, but you look exhausted. 
"Nooooo I want you to keep touching me all night~!" Adagio purred. She giggled again, her chest rattling. Her hand was running up and down Buck's chest.
"You sure you're okay, Adagio?" Buck said.
"Just a little love drunk, Buck." Adagio chuckled. Her hand was wandering lower.
"Is that like a real thing, with you?" Buck said. Adagio hooked her fingers in his belt and pulled him just a bit closer to her. Her hard, naked nipples pressed against his chest. Their foreheads were touching. 
"It is, Buck. Emotional energy is the basis of all magic, and it's often more art than science...mm...mm...hello there, what's this...?" Adagio purred. She was poking and groping at Buck's stomach. Buck breathed in and flexed his abs, hardening his gut, and Adagio's eyes lit up as her fingers pressed in and felt his muscles. 
"Go on." Buck said.
"Well, when you drink emotional energy to store in your body, if it's from an unfamiliar source, you won't have any defense against it. It's like...it's like, oh, having a mixed drink for the first time. One with rum, perhaps." She said. Her nails lightly ran up and down Buck's chest and stomach as if he were a scratching post. 
"So I'm making you drunk...with my emotions?" Buck said. Adagio nodded and bit her lip harder.
"Mhm. Yooooou...you taste like...chocolate and mint and...hot spice!" She said, tittering as if she told a dirty joke in 5th grade. 
"Oh my god. You are fucking ADORABLE like this!" Buck exclaimed, sitting up. His smile was like a kid in a candy store. The last time he'd smiled like this was when he'd gotten a Gamecube for Christmas. Fuckin' Smash and Sunshine and Double Dash baybee. Best Christmas/Birthday combo ever. Focus, man, look at her! Adagio had taken that lock of hair back and was rubbing it against her lips and looking at Buck with an almost shy glint in her eyes. She had pulled the cover over her. She'd never struck Buck as the modest type. "Uh, do you need water? Are you gonna be okay? ...Are you gonna get mad about this later?" 
"Yes, yes, and ohhh my yes." Adagio said. Buck rose to get her some water. Adagio grabbed his belt again and pulled him back down to the bed with a light thumping noise. "No! You stay, Buck. Stay here with me~!" She said, in a sing-songy voice. 
"Uh, how am I supposed to get you a drink if you're holdin' onto my pants?" 
"Staaaaaay!!!" Adagio pouted. She grabbed his arm and pressed her breasts against it, bouncing them for emphasis.
"Alright, alright, I'm not going anywhere, hun." He said. He wanted to act cross, but she was so cute, and he could not stop smiling right now. Adagio kissed his shoulder and nuzzled her nose against it. Her fingers slid against his bicep slowly, and she cooed and leaned down to nibble on it.
"Mm, mmmhmhmm! Big strong muscles...look at these big tough muscles, Buck! Mmmm..." She was planting sweet little kisses on his bicep. 
"You're into muscles, Adagio?"
"I'm into you, Buck!" She squealed, and she hopped up. Her hair smacked him in the face as she plopped into his lap, and she had to pull it apart like a curtain to look up at him. She looked so small like this. He watched her study his face, her eyes filling with glee as her cheeks rose and a big grin split her face. She hugged herself against him and rubbed her cheek against his chest. "Hehehehee! Big strong Buck...big strong Buck~!" She sang. 
"Oookay, not at all what I was expecting out of you tonight." Buck said. Adagio pressed her nose into Buck's chest hair and too a looooong deep sniff. Her whole body shook as she inhaled his scent. Buck could feel her blazing down below against his lap. Buck just ran his fingers through her curly orange hair and wondered how she kept it so wavy and silky when his was a nappy mess at least half the time. She cooed softly against him.
"Ooooooohhhh...keep doing that, Buck...slower...please?" She said. She looked up at him, planted her chin a bit painfully against his chest, and stared into his eyes with a little smile on her face. Buck slowly dragged his fingers through her hair. "Buck...?" Adagio said, blinking.
"Yeah, hun?" Buck said, smiling. 
"Will you kiss me, Buck? Kiss me like you did back at the diner? You kiss like a bunch of little guppies, Buck! So sweet and needy...do you like needy girls Buck? Do you like me? Will you kiss me like before, Buck, pretty please?" Adagio said. Her fingers drummed against his chest as she rambled. Buck grinned. He would have a little fun with this. 
"Okay, sure I can. But back up just a little bit. I wanna make it special, 'kay?" Buck said. Adagio scrambled out of his lap, sat criss-cross applesauce, and nodded frantically, sending another couple of locks into her face. Buck reached out and took Adagio's hand.
"Okay, hold still now, alright?" Buck said. He crept close to Adagio and waved the hair out of her face. She nipped at his thumb playfully. "Come here..." Buck said, softly. Adagio leaned in. There was a big, goofy grin on her face, and she was practically shaking. Buck cupped her chin, tilted her head away, and then took a moment. 
He thought about the look on Adagio's face as she gazed out the window at Sugar Cube Corner. Her fidgeting hands when she was on the bench. Her eyes when he sang to her just a little bit ago. Her uncontrollable laugh in the hallway of this very hotel. Buck thought of the tiny little glimmers of Adagio that he was coming to adore. 
And then, with all the tenderness he could muster, Buck planted a sickly sweet kiss on Adagio's cheek. She recoiled as if she'd just had an electrical shock, and she giggled and shut her eyes. Then she leaned her chin toward him again, sucking her lips in to try and hold her laughter. Again Buck pecked her on the cheek, and she shook and she squealed and came in for more. Buck put an arm around her waist and started showering Adagio's cheeks and forehead and chin with sweet kisses. Every one of them seemed to push her down onto her back, but her grip on Buck was strong so she took him with her. 
He was looming just above her, watching his emotions tickle her, her hands on her rosy cheeks, her thighs rubbing together, her eyes shut. She wasn't just adorable, she was fucking precious. 
"Buck..." Adagio purred softly. Her hands came up and laced themselves at the back of Buck's neck. Her leg came up and her knee started to prod him gently. "Buck...will...will you fuck me like this, Buck? Pretty pleeeeease, Buck?" Adagio said. She was trying to pull him in for one of her vicious, thirsty kisses. Buck didn't have to think about this. He gave her a remorseful smile.
"No hun, I won't." He said. He patted her head. 
Adagio looked like she was about to break into a schoolyard tantrum. "Aaaaawwwww! But, but, but, why not Buck!?" She said, frantically. Buck scritched her chin and she moaned and closed her eyes. 
"Adagio, you're not yourself right now. You said it yourself; you're intoxicated. I'm not going to take advantage of you like this." Adagio's little hand reached up and moved Buck's to her cheek. She hummed softly and nodded. "If you want me to fuck you like this, you gotta ask me when you're sober, okay?" Buck said, slowly.
"Mmhm..." Adagio said. She seemed a bit lost in thought. She was nibbling on Buck's thumb. 
"I think I need to get you some water and leave you alone in here for a bit so you can collect yourself, okay?" 
"Mmmmnnnn...." Adagio moaned around Buck's thumb. She was suckling on it, rolling her tongue around it. 
"...stop that, hun. I'm gonna go get you that water. Will you say here for me? It would be a big help." 
"Okaaaay!" Adagio said, cheerfully. Buck's thumb escaped her mouth with a wet pop, and he wiped it on his jeans as he got up. 
"There's a good girl." Buck patted Adagio on the head and she nuzzled up into it. Buck turned and tried to make sure she didn't see how hard he was.
"Buck...!" Adagio said, urgently. When Buck turned, she was reaching out to him from the bed. She was covering herself with the sheets again, and her beckoning hand pulled back to twirl one of her bangs around her finger. "Buck...I like you, Buck...! I like you a lot, okay!?" She said.
"I know you do, Adagio. I know." Buck said. He thought he might cry as he shut the door.

Buck ended up leaving the glass of water in front of the door. He sat on the couch and drank his own glass while he waited. After a bit, he heard the latch click and the very soft whine of the hinges, then a quick little slam. He looked over his shoulder from where he was sitting on the couch and saw that the glass was gone, and he smiled and laid his head back. Let her come down. Check on her in an hour or so. 
"It couldn't hurt to take a little nap, right?" Buck set a little alarm on his phone, then closed his eyes.

Adagio wasn't in her bed, anymore. She had left a trail of pillows and velvet blankets in her wake, leading into her bathroom. She hadn't run the water. She just curled up in the tub and hugged a pillow to her chest. Buck had just rested his head on it. It smelled like his cologne and his sweat and some kind of light charcoal. Buck's smell. Adagio took another deep sniff of it, and sobbed, softly. 
She was coming down, truly. 
This wasn't how it was supposed to go. This was turning into one of the strangest, most emotionally charged weeks of her life, and at no point did she think that maybe she wasn't ready for this. It had been so long since she'd been on a date--an actual date and not an ambush. He was just a man, so why was this so hard? She was angry at herself for getting caught lacking, and she was angry at Buck for being so patient and sweet and she was angry at the diner for making for such an excellent stage and she was angry at Buck for being fun, and a good dancer, and...this was all his fault!
"NAHH!" Adagio shrieked and hurled the pillow away from her. It sailed out through the bathroom door and landed somewhere unimportant with barely a sound. She hugged herself tightly and cried against the wall of the tub, her shoulders shaking. She prayed that Buck didn't hear her in the living room. 
He could not see her like this. 
Never, ever. 
She was pathetic. She had been suckling off his emotional energy like a starving kitten and he'd taken it in stride and given her water and privacy. He had complimented her. He was so warm and her cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing with him and Oh Gods, she couldn't do this, she couldn't do this! 
The plan, what was the plan? What was the play? He was sweet, wasn't he? He would probably play it off so as not to embarrass her, the sanctimonious prick. Tell her it's not a big deal if she brought it up. Did he forget in the space of the date that she could kill him by looking at him? Was he so foolish as to think that she would just fall in line and swoon and fawn over him because of a decent song and a good dance? Were her standards truly so low that she was considering deviating from her plan to groom him into the perfect magical battery? What would she do instead?

Buck was right, in a way. Adagio wasn't herself at the moment. She took her breath back. She sat still. 

Adagio's thoughts began to race. She started turning everything over in her head to get at all the angles. 
If she tried to cast a spell on Buck and it failed, then he would run and call the Rainbooms down to slay her. 
If she cast a spell on Buck and it succeeded, then his friends and that little slag Starlight would call the Rainbooms down regardless. 
If she cast a spell on Buck and it succeeded but she hid him here, his sudden disappearance would tip off his friends that something was wrong. 
Killing Buck was out of the question. Killing anyone was out of the question, really. A shame.
So she couldn't get him ensorcelled, and she couldn't remove him from the equation...
Adagio sat up.
She had to limit her exposure, build up a resistance, learn to process his emotional energy...for that, she'd have to get used to the taste, and to do that...she would have to understand his emotional responses, his psychology, his baggage. 
She had to master Buck inside and out. Make him vulnerable and learn everything she could about him. 
Otherwise, she could never use him properly. 
"What does that mean?" She mumbled. 
I have to ask him out on another date in a week or so...but still, visit him and communicate with him...I need to understand him and adapt to his emotional energy. I need to dance around him, be cautious and careful, keep him at arms' length because if I keep letting him close, he'll smother me in magical energy over and over again. Adagio thought.
She had risen from the bathtub, she was pacing the floor. 
Conclusion?
"Lean into it. Mean girl act, hot and cold. Space your time out, set him up, figure him out and you can break him."
She mumbled the words as she washed her face. Adagio was always the best at using men, even if Sonata was better at nabbing them. 
"Control the pace. Ask questions. Find his flaws, foibles, fetishes." She said, almost robotically. She was before her mirror now, her detangler brush dragging slowly through her hair.
Adagio put on her pyjamas. Her armor. "Give him just enough that he keeps coming back. Use what he gives against him. Understand him. Then wear him down." She said. Was she commanding herself or simply giving advice? It didn't matter. Adagio smiled at her ravishing reflection.
Her eyes glowed red for just a second as she finally remembered who Adagio Dazzle IS.
She was going to conquer him.

Buck couldn't remember the last time he dreamed. His sleep for the last few years had been fitful and empty. Some nights he would simply close his eyes and try desperately to catch some rest while his brain automatically sorted through every mistake he ever made. He thought in those times that this was the real difference between being depressed and being burnt out. 
He would forget this lesson the following day, of course, as he shuffled out of bed, his eyes stinging, back sore. I'm just in a slump, he'd say. Things are going to get better, he'd say to himself. And then he'd throw back a whole-ass iced coffee and shuffle off to be extremely pleasant and patient to customers for the majority of his daylight hours.
Buck had almost forgotten what it was like to sleep for the sake of rest. He was blown out like a tire; the emotional labor and thrills of just being in Adagio's presence made him feel like his brain had been running a marathon. 
But fuck, his Dad had always said the best sleep came after really busting your ass, and he was right. Buck couldn't keep his eyes open. 
So, he floated in that dreamless space and he dozed and he snorted, his head back on the couch. 
It was cold in Adagio's suite, sitting on this couch felt like lounging in a swimming pool. As he let himself drift, his anxiety reached out and pinched at him through the haze. She's insane, and you're a fucking idiot for going through with this. She's going to kill you, suck your soul out through your dick, and she is going to kill you, you fucking clown. Think, for one moment about what you're doing. Mom was right about bad girls; you just can't fucking help yourself, can you? Buck thought then that Adagio fucking Dazzle was obviously fucking more than a C-grade succubus. Adagio fucking Dazzle is the most incredible thing to ever enter his life. He didn't like being this vulnerable around her. 
She was trouble, fucking clearly, but she was more than teeth and menace; she had a beating heart. She looked so fragile like that, how she was in the bedroom. He'd tugged on her mask just a little bit, and he'd fallen seven fucking stories into a part of her that he could tell she wanted to hide. 
Because Buck knew that Adagio Dazzle was a bad bitch. The world knew. But even bad bitches needed a break every now and again. Buck wondered which version of Adagio was more 'real.' The disney villain that had been crooning at him at the beginning of the night, or the love-starved kitten that had been clinging to him just now? He wasn't sure.

What he did know is that he wanted to see more. Needed to.

And then suddenly Buck was falling. In that dark and dreamless place, his heart skipped a beat as his consciousness dropped into freefall, his body shuddering him out of his well-earned rest. It was as if an icy hand had reached up and grabbed a hold of his neck, hauling him out of sleep and tossing him on the deck of a ship. Buck jumped and held his hands up in defense.
"Buck?" And then he looked past his shaking hands and saw her. She was leaning over him, wearing those lavender pyjamas with the cute little goldfish on them. Her magenta eyes were wide with concern. She was reaching out to him. 
Had she touched him? 
"...oh man, sorry if I startled you there. I was having a nap."
"Oh, did I interrupt a dream?"
"No...more like a dream just interrupted my sleep."  He said, smiling and yawning. He had hesitated there. He wasn't sure how corny he was allowed to be around her. 
"How do you do that?" Adagio said, snorting out a little chuckle.
"Whatcha mean?"
"How do you just have one-liners like that ready to toss, even in your sleep?"
"Adagio."
"Yes, Buck?"
"Have you seen you? I could do this all day." Buck said. He sat up and stretched. Adagio smiled and crossed her arms. Okay, good, Buck thought. Corny was good. 
"Oh, you flirt." Adagio said. She sat down on the couch, about a cushion away from Buck. Compared to how she was on her bed, the distance felt like miles. Had he upset her? Shit. What did you do, Buck?
"Oh, I'm the flirt now? Were you hearing yourself in there?" Buck's laugh died after taking a few paces out of his mouth. It looked around and realized it had run into a minefield. Adagio was silent for a bit.
"Yes, That...well, that's what happens when you go and spoil me, Buck." She was flirting, right? Why did that sound like a warning?
"Spoil you?" 
"Yes! Spoil me! You spoiled me tonight, and I melted into a little puddle of giggles and kisses, alright!?" Adagio said, her hands reaching out to frame the words in front of her. 
"Ah...well I liked it."
"Oh, I bet you did, Buck."
"You were precious like that!"
"Stop right there, Buck. Not another step closer." Buck hadn't moved, and somehow the space between himself and Adagio seemed to be lengthening. "I...appreciated your tact and care when you realized I was inebriated." 
"Oh, shit, well, look, it happens to the best of us." Buck said. Adagio raised an eyebrow. Overdoing it and getting too too drunk, ya know? That's alright."
"It is not alright."
"It happens to everyone!"
"You know that I'm pretty far removed from being 'everyone', Buck." 
"Okay, well I'm sorry. I didn't know that I could get you drunk just by being sweet on you. I'll be more careful...?" Buck said. He wasn't sure how he could stop himself from being sweet on Adagio. Fuck, he wanted to hold her right now. 
"No, you stop that over there! I can taste you pining." 
"What." 
"Ah, right, I never explained." 
"Explained what?" 
"Don't worry about that. Would you be a dear and go pick us a bottle from the wine rack?" Adagio snapped, waving her hand at Buck. Buck could feel the bags under his eyes getting heavier. She was reminding him a little bit too much of his past. Buck closed his eyes for a moment, frowned, and then got up and went to the kitchen. His eyes trailed along the floor. This was familiar.

Adagio examined her nails nonchalantly, taking a peek at Buck's swiveling ass as he loped over to the kitchen. She turned away as he looked at her over his shoulder. 
"How 'bout chardonnay?" He said, glasses clinking in his hand. What had that been, just now? For just a moment, Buck's feelings tasted like licking the side of an anvil. Something heavy and shameful and tired had settled over his shoulders, and Adagio could smell his exhaustion, though he hid it well. Just what in the world was bouncing around in that head of his? 
"Adagio?" 
"Yes, Buck?" She said, blinking.
"Chardonnay?" He held up a bottle.
"Yes, that sounds lovely." And with that, a cork popped behind her, and Buck came back around with a pair of glasses. One was a bit more filled than the other. Adagio snatched it from his hand and gave him a sheepish smile.
"Buck..." Adagio said, slowly after a long sip. Then she nearly wretched as a spear of sadness tore into her tongue. Buck was looking away from her, down the hall. He was standing, a hand in his pocket and he was giving off such a thick haze of melancholy that it made Adagio shudder as if she'd just swallowed half a lemon.
"Here it comes..." Buck said under his breath. He probably thought she couldn't hear him. Ah. So he'd had this talk before. 
"Buck, it's been wonderful, these last few days with you."
"Uh, you tried to kill me, Adagio. And then you showed up at my work to paw me around, and then you eye-fucked me at karaoke." 
"Yes, and besides the chase, you enjoyed every moment of it." Adagio said. She punctuated her claim with a sip, catching Buck in her stare. He looked at her like a kicked puppy for a moment, then smiled a thin and patient smile. 
"Yeah, that's fair." Buck said. He sat down on the couch, further away than he was before. He was staring at one of the bookshelves. He tasted like he was trying to disappear. 
"And that was all lovely, but you should know that the accounting position I took is full time, and I simply won't have as much time for you in the week after tonight." She said it in her old receptionist's voice. It came out cold.
"Uh-huh. Yeah, you already know my schedule." 	
"And personally, I think that's good. If I let you hang off me and shower me with sickly sweet affection all day, I'd never get anything done." 
"...Are you saying you want me to like you less?"
"I'm saying that your affections are overwhelming me, and I need space, Buck." Adagio said. The way he clenched his fists and closed his eyes, you would think he was having a migraine. His sorrow turned to stale, salty old frustration in an instant. Of course, of course. The poor little puppy had been here before. How many women had turned him away because he was "too nice" she wondered? That was a shitty old ailment that plenty of men liked to wail about, but it wasn't this exactly. The man was just open and sweet, and Adagio hadn't been ready. 
She was being diplomatic, but as Buck turned to her, the look on his face showed her that all the nuance was flying over his head. He thought...oh dear.
"So you want me to leave. This is the part where you tell me I'm a real great guy and all, but I'm way too on all the time, and you just want to keep your options open." Buck said as if reciting a receipt. Poor thing. 
"That's not what I'm saying at all, Buck. Come here and sit with me. Please." Adagio said, patting the space next to her on the couch. Buck looked toward the door for a moment, then his shoulders rose and he scooched over next to Adagio.
"You said you're not afraid of me, right Buck?" Adagio said, low and tender. He still wasn't looking at her.
"Yeah." He said. He twitched as Adagio's fingers lightly caressed the back of his hand. She leaned close to his ear. 
"Then come closer, Buck..." She purred. She watched and tasted the sweet-spicy heat spread across his cheeks. Good boy. He could be trained, she thought as he looked at her and sat up, scooching and leaning closer. A wry smile had snuck onto his face. Adagio took his hand in both of hers and laid her head on his shoulder. He was smoldering now. So warm. 
"I don't want you to leave, Buck."
"You don't?" No, what she wanted was to sit in his lap and spend the rest of the evening sampling and tasting and teasing him until he melted away like a well-appreciated popsicle.
"No, Buck." Adagio said, softly. She squeezed his hand. "I want you, Buck. Is that not clear?" She traced a finger up his arm and sighed softly. She tasted a little spike of peppermint in him. A dash of sudden exuberance. Had his heart just skipped a beat? 
She understood. Wanting to be wanted, by the right person. It was such a specific feeling, one that everyone; even homewreckers like she herself felt. Adagio could feel it in him. He had gotten her love drunk, but only because he'd been starving for so long. For this exact flavor that only she could bring. Wait. What's that? 
"Don't you want me, Buck?" She said, reaching up and turning his face toward her. 
Adagio almost recoiled. There were tiny, sparkling tears in the corners of Buck's golden eyes. She was overwhelming him. Somewhere far away inside her, she felt guilty for making the man cry. But then, if she was going to conquer him, it would have to be give and take. This was one small gap in his defenses that she could slither through.
"I wanna know you, Adagio." He said, lifting her hands and slowly kissing the knuckles, one by one. She felt his love reaching out. She felt a saccharine giggle rising in her throat, and she strangled it in the crib.
"Ah, right, you asked about my story, didn't you? Are you sure you want to hear it? Like any life story, it's strange and confusing and full of little pornographic details." Adagio said, smirking.
"...yeah, well, so are you, and yet here I am." Buck said. Adagio couldn't help but cackle at that. 
"Hah! Alright then, how about a little quid pro quo, then? My story is especially long, and likely won't fit into an evening alone. So...we can meet and I can tell you the tale in pieces and you in turn can tell me about yourself. Does that sound fair?"
"You want to know about my life?" Buck said, incredulously. 
"Yes I do, as a matter of fact." Adagio said.
"I mean...there isn't--well there's stories of course, but I'm not that-"
"I know you're a wordsmith, Buck. A bard. You've been slinging sweet little adulations at me since we met." Adagio said. One of her hands let go of Buck's and surreptitiously slid its fingertips along the curve of his thigh. 
"Oh man, I uh...I don't know about all that." Buck said. Sugary bashfulness. A chocolate shell around a shocking, decadent raspberry sorbet. Adagio bit her lip. This was more like it. She squeezed his thigh, then slid back into his lap.
"You're a writer, are you not?" She said. He was trying to run from her gaze, but he was backed into a corner. Gods, she loved watching him squirm. Her fingers traced up his stomach and to his chin. She would not let him look away. 
"...yeah..." Buck said. Adagio pursed her lips as they crept closer to his. 
"Well, I'm certain that you can tell stories as well as you kiss, Buck~." She said. Her nails scratched deftly at the sides of his neck. They trailed along his trapezius, feather-light, then his collarbone in a torturously slow trek. She felt him awaken instantly, hot and hard between her thighs.
Oh yes. It was abundantly clear to Adagio that Buck wanted--NEEDED desperately to be handled with care by a confident woman. He was panting softly under her touches. 
"I uh, well I'm unproven, you know, never published, or anything like-" Adagio grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him closer, her eyes ripping into him. 
"Are you calling me a liar?" She hissed. She didn't let him argue. She pounced. Her kiss was brutal and greedy and possessive. Adagio's eyes rolled back for a moment as Buck's sugary love and boiling lust flooded into her, then she pulled away swiftly.
Buck was breathless, breathing hard. 
Adagio fixed him with an evil grin, then she leaned in and planted a tender little peck on his lips, held him there for a moment, then tapped his lips with her tongue and sat back in his lap. She studied his expression. She sipped at his emotions. He was scalding now, bubbling over with lust. 
"Woman, if you keep coming at me like this, I'm going to turn you every way but loose." He growled. Adagio gasped as his hands grabbed and groped at her ass. Adagio kissed his forehead, then made to kiss him again before quickly hopping off his lap.
"Later. Right now, I want you to tell me a story. So start." Adagio said. She leaned forward and poured another two glasses, then passed one to Buck. He didn't taste disappointed. He tasted patient and embarrassed and thirsty. She watched Buck take a sip, then lift his head to stare at the ceiling. 
"Well...it's a long story."

Purple Prose was born on the winter solstice at the New Horseleans Charity Hospital in the Hayseed Swamp region. In the time since, he would generally say this was a bad move because much of everything that came after was just a little cursed. 
Buck's early years were filled with little misfortunes, which taken on their own by a child would amount to about nothing, but even a pile of pebbles can crush bones when it gets big enough. In retrospect, Buck, who had always thought of himself as being chronically unlucky was actually pretty damn lucky after all.
Lucky to be alive. 
First, it was the asthma, he said, then the dust allergy, and then a shockingly high number of instances when his young life was put in danger. Buck joked that he had been hit by just about everything that could swing in the Hayseed region by the time he turned twelve. 
This included but was not limited to; 
One opening door to the face on the last day of daycare. That is to say, it became the last day of daycare; his Mother had insisted.
A ceiling fan that his father had accidentally tossed him up into at age 2.
Three baseballs in the span of ten minutes at age 3. He was never good at sports, but he sure did try.
Half the contents of a bookshelf in his mother's study at age 4. He wanted to see what was on the top shelf, so he'd started climbing it. He hadn't cried. He loved books, and he was more worried about their spines than his ankle which had had to be splinted.
The stubby little fists of four different children by 6 years old. He was sensitive, and a crybaby, so he was picked on. He'd hurt them much worse. 
The ceiling fan again, but this time because it fell from the ceiling at 7 years old.
A literal fucking alligator during a fishing trip, which smacked him accidentally with its tail at 8. He'd also taken a couple of fish hooks in the back during that trip. He never really got the cast right, but he loved loved loved the taste of catfish.
A falling microphone stand at 9. He had really enjoyed learning to sing, but he had a natural stage presence that to the layman looked like a lot of flailing about and occasionally smacking into equipment.
Another ceiling fan at the local hardware store, entirely unrelated to the previous one but somehow the same model at 10.
His own head against his desk later that year, during homework. A calamitous sound from the other room apparently because his sister ran into the room to check and started screaming when she saw he was bleeding. 

That had ended up being a whole production, Buck remembered. His Mother had lifted him, even at ten years old, and had started running in the direction of the hospital before his father had gotten them all into the car. 
The pediatrician was ready to diagnose it as just an unlucky fall, but when Buck was asked what happened, he'd explained with the kind of glibness that only a 6th grader can muster that he didn't want to do his multiplication tables because they wouldn't stay in his head.  Buck didn't understand why this was a big deal. He had cried at Neverending Story and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and he had been terrified of Carrie. He had wept, WEPT, for days at the last scene of the first Pokemon Movie. 
But taking hits? That was normal. He had tried to use the hits to get out of something because when he got hit, he'd usually be brought somewhere else, and his parents would stop and pay attention to him. 
Buck hated math, and even now, dragging his feet toward thirty, abstract numbers in any configuration above a 9th-grade level would confound him. 
And to this very day, he had never managed to memorize the multiplication tables.

Buck blinked and his head snapped forward. He hadn't meant to say that. He looked down at Adagio, who was lightly running her fingers along his thigh. She was staring at him, the pupils set in her normally sharp eyes having dilated out to resemble an adorable kitten having an existential crisis. He had her undivided attention.
"That's a really embarrassing thing to admit...but it's true." Buck said. He was searching for something in Adagio's face, but he kept wandering in awe among the gorgeous landmarks, getting lost. 
"Buck, there's nothing wrong with recognizing your limitations." Adagio said, blinking slowly. 
"Well, that's the problem. My Mom didn't see a limitation."

Buck's father had to leave, begrudgingly, on an expedition, leaving little Buck with bandages around his head to sit out a few days of school in recovery. A thought had been floated to Buck's mother in the emergency room, which she had vehemently denied, and so through those days, after she had finished her work, she would come into Buck's room before bed and watch cartoons with him, and tell him that nothing is wrong with him and that he was brilliant, and that he just needs a proper tutor. 
Buck spent those days off happily inhaling books from his mother's massive collection, drawing and playing video games, and not doing math. He had been told that harming himself wasn't a good thing to do, because it made his family worry, and he had accepted that. 
His sister treated him no different than before. They sat and watched their cooking shows and they laughed and it was fine. Buck didn't know or think anything was wrong with him. No one told him anything was different about him.
But there was. 
And yet his parents called him a genius and he was in a couple of gifted classes and despite his bruises, he was still curious and happy and odd and that was fine. His mother would force him to practice basic math on weekends, something he despised far more than taking his medicine for the day. 

Little Buck was a ball of energy, always ready to run off and climb anything he could scramble up to see the view from the top. He spoke in precocious little observations and didn't seem to have any filter separating the literary works he constantly had in his hand. 
This had gotten him in trouble once or twice, like when he asked about why the bible didn't have anything to say about Dante's Inferno, and why was it that there was such a difference between Disney's Hercules and the Heracles he had read about, but this was all fine and well so long as his teachers were patient with him. Not all of them were, of course.
At one point in 6th-grade english, Buck had spent the better part of a book report talking about how the movie version of Wizard of Oz didn't really resemble the books, but Return to Oz was spot on even though it was really scary, and really if you looked at it hard, The Wiz was probably a better adaptation than the old movie at least because it was scarier to see this stuff in person and on stage and and and and then the teacher, who had been tapping his watch at Buck for the last ten minutes slapped his hand on the desk and grumbled at him to get to the point, there were other students waiting to talk. 
Buck had simply set his paper down on the man's desk, sat in his seat, and refused to say anything to anyone for the remainder of the school day. His mother had said some low, terse words to the principal after being called in, and Buck had to have a careful talk about the structure of standardized education which he wouldn't understand in retrospect until he was in high school. 
Buck shone brightest in the arts. Because his attention span for anything besides entertainment or expression was similar in length to a gnat curled up in a ball, he adored being able to bounce between subject matter and techniques and art appreciation. He loved drawing of course, but in each moment he spent inside the studio classroom, he found new loves in different mediums and genres, and ideas. Buck was all ideas and questions and crushes.
It was funny, every teacher outside of art tended to look at Buck as an irritating little busybody, but as soon as he made it to his art class he could sit for hours and hold a conversation while painting or sculpting or whatever it was that day. If it was interesting, it held his attention indefinitely. If it was boring, he was unable to even get started on it. 
Some teachers called Buck a little visionary, and Buck loved bringing good grades home so his parents would praise him, but it was always an uphill battle. One can't fill a report card with Art alone, after all. 

None of that mattered to Buck, at the end of the day. All the child wanted to do was run and jump and explore and read and draw and write and ask question after question after question. While his sister was a sweet and patient, convenient child, Buck was bouncing off the walls. He seemed to all adults involved to be one of those kids that would grow up into a trailblazer; the kind that had more trophies on the shelf than just the participation ones. 
And New Horseleans was the exact right place for a child like Buck to explore, with supervision. After all, the city was a dark, haunted place fueled by alcohol and prayers, and tourist money. It was also a grand point of congregation for artists and naturalists and occult investigators and yet more kinds of visionaries and scholars. It was a place of jocularity and generosity and festivals and wailing brass instruments and loud drums. A world of strange magic and wonders both natural and seemingly supernatural. And every kind of person and flavor in the world. A melting pot of art and culture. Buck's home.
Looking back, Buck thought of it as a sweet dream; his childhood. Adagio was right; the further away you got from those memories, the more ethereal they became. However, he would always remember the next part. He couldn't help it. 

Back in the present, Buck pulled himself out of those happy memories again. He saw that he'd drained his glass of chardonnay at some point, or maybe Adagio had. Adagio for her part had adjusted at some point to sit with her legs up and across Buck's lap, reclining against the armrest of the couch.
"It sounds like you were absolutely precious, Buck." She said. Her expression was not unlike someone who had just read a very embarrassing Tinder profile; she was in a weird middle space between curiosity and laughter. 
"...are you making fun of me? I was the problem child, even though I tried to be good. Shit, man, my parents had no end of grief with me around." Buck said. It wasn't anger, really.
"I doubt that. From what I hear, human parents are meant to love their children even if they like to climb trees and hate math." Adagio said, smiling. 
"Am I boring you? You can tell me if I am." 
"Buck, relax. I'm having fun." Adagio said. She poured the remainder of the fizzy booze in her glass into Buck's, then topped hers off with the rest of the bottle.  "Has anyone ever told you, you get the strangest look when you talk about your childhood? You look like a veteran who's seen something truly monstrous, even though you're talking about treasured memories." 
"Well, uh, the thing about looking back is that every time you do it, you see the past in a different sorta way."
"Oh? Is that what it's like for those that don't record their own memoirs?"
"...Do you really not feel any different when you remember your past? Doesn't your opinion change on the important bits, the further you go? You've been going for a while, you have to have changed your mind at some point." Buck said it slowly, stopping every few moments to think. It felt weird to conjugate about these things in front of someone else. But then, Buck never really liked talking about his past. Too much heartache.
"Hm...hm, well, I like to think my vision has a bit more clarity than the average human, Buck. But I'll explain the how later. Right now, we're talking about you. You can continue." 

Buck looked down at his hands. He hadn't even noticed them reaching down to run along Adagio's gently curving calves. Her pyjamas were cashmere soft.
Buck reached over and drained his entire glass of chardonnay. 
"That oughta make this a little easier." He said. He saw Adagio tilt her head. 
He closed his eyes. 

The scary thing about storms is that you always know when they're coming. Tropical storms were a normal part of summer life in the Hayseed Swamp Region, and so New Horseleans was constantly braced for the hurricanes that would come barreling up the coast. Storms had always made Buck comfortable as a child. The rain pattering on the window and the rumbling of thunder was like a shot of melatonin to the brain for him. So when they got tape-up-y'alls-windows bad, he was often excited to sit by the window and watch the storm thrashing the world outside.
The hurricane forming out in the gulf was promising to be the storm of the century, and the household was of two minds. Buck's mother was adamant that they evacuate. Think of the children. Buck doesn't even know how to swim, yet, what if it's a disaster out here? 
Buck's father was sure that whatever happened, they would make it through as a family. All of their
possessions were here, and while he'd like to evacuate, it would take a couple of days to move everything into public storage. He wasn't against getting out of dodge, but he wouldn't let this destroy their home. Buck's sister was simply scared of what might happen. Buck was scared too, but being next to his Dad made him feel much better. Buck wanted to stay with his Dad. 
Buck's mother made his father swear that he would protect their son, no matter what it took. His father swore up and down of course, that Buck would be kept safe. He said that the house would be here when they got back. 
Buck felt unnerved as he waved to his mother and sister driving away. His father patted his head, saying that it would be okay. 
The storm was fierce already, but as Buck and his father spent nights fortifying the house and putting things in tupperware containers, Buck could hear it getting even worse. The windows rattled as he fell asleep. The rain was all around him, but he trusted the rain. It had always been soothing and cool before. His sleep was fitful, with him tossing and turning before finally settling belly down with one arm dangling off the bed.
Buck woke the next morning. His arm was half-submerged in water. So was his bedroom. The whole world was wrong. 
The water smelled foul and the summer heat was in his room and his mattress was wet and squishy and he started to scream. He heard a splashing sound somewhere else in the house and the sound of his father barking for him, saying he was coming and everything was wrong. 
His father came for him through the waist-high water and Buck could hear a wet hissing sound like a tub draining and his father was telling him they had to go, the water was coming up through the floorboards and it's going to be okay buddy just get on my shoulders and it's going to be okay. Something sounded like screaming outside.
Buck's father had carried him up to the attic where there was a hatch to the roof, and this was the moment that Buck would remember until the end of his life. This was the moment when his childhood came to a screeching halt. 
What Buck remembered sticking out to him first was the noise. Normally the world after a storm was a quiet place with little more than the whispering shuffle of wet leaves. As Buck climbed out onto the roof of his home, he heard a wail. He'd later describe it as a sound like wolves screaming. The high winds in the wake of the storm were surging through the telephone wires in front of Buck's home, and the result was a horrific keening howl that shook his eardrums. 
Then Buck looked around, and he was suddenly very sick. Buck's entire childhood world was halfway underwater. Everywhere as far as he could see was water. Water up past windows and car doors and street signs. The sky was grey and the world was wrong and then Buck smelled it. 
It was a stench like low tide at a garbage dump. It was salty and disgusting and rotten and humid. Buck would later say it smelled like wet death. 
And then Buck looked again and he saw them. 
There were bodies floating in the streets. Tens of them across the street and down the block and around the corner. 
His neighbors. And Buck had gone back to retching and crying and gasping at the same time. His legs buckled and then his father was holding him and rocking him and saying he was sorry. 
There is nothing in the world that can prepare a 12-year-old to see their world destroyed before their very eyes. 

Escaping was easier than expected. Buck's dad had a flatboat in the backyard for fishing, and it was easy to float it over to the roof. Buck's dad had spent most of the day finding things that were undamaged enough to salvage and light enough to bring with them. He told Buck that they were going to ride out and find uncle Cattail and they would be okay,
maybe even get some fishing in.
Buck's dad had prioritized filling a backpack with books for Buck to read. All sorts of adventures were in there; stories by Gaiman and Pratchett and Hickman and King and Adams and Cussler and Buck's dad had even managed to grab some of the comics and manga from the top shelf in Buck's room. Those books would keep Buck safe from dark thoughts throughout the journey. They wouldn't protect him from the mosquitos, thirst, or heat all that well, but he was glad for them anyway.

"You can't...there's no way to be ready for a calamity, Adagio. I'm sure you understand, you've been around, but...it wasn't the destruction. Infrastructure can be rebuilt, repaved, reinsured. The nightmare was the phone calls. We landed at my Auntie Zecora's place in Canterlot and she let us stay. She ain't really my aunt; she's a close friend of my parents. Mom and Sis were already there, of course, and Mom had some fuckin' words for Dad, let me tell you. And Dad bowed his head and he apologized and I think now, I think now he was cryin' then. Because he had been so sure, but he was wrong, and now I'd seen things I couldn't unsee. 
But the calls...when you escape something like that, and you know your home is gone, there's just this shock, you know? What are we going to do? Where are we going to go? And there's another question, too, one that keeps getting answered over and over." Buck said. 
He had wrapped his arms around his legs, which were close to his chest on the couch. He was facing straight ahead, speaking urgently and quietly. Adagio could see him shaking. His eyes were looking somewhere far away, the place that marooned sailors looked right after being rescued. He tasted like cold fear and salty tears and sharp, rising anxiety.

"My Mom was...is a community person. Being an expert in history and genealogy down south is a big deal, so she had contacts all over New Horseleans--all over Hayseed! She knew everybody and she was always an organizer so it must've seemed natural to them to reach out, and then once somebody back home got in contact she started getting calls from concerned parties and neighbors who made it out and...and at first, at first it was a relief, you know? People were alive.
But I watched my mama start falling down from hopeful to all broken up. People were calling to tell her who was alive. That meant that most folks was dead. Ma kept a tally. This was a historical event. But I don't think she recovered from that and...and...and everything was gone. My favorite book store and all my classmates at school and the park with all the crate myrtles and my neighbors. Everything was gone. The whole world had gone wrong." Buck's tone was getting lower. 
Adagio could see the horror pooling in his eyes and dripping down his cheeks. She had stood in the ashes of villages sacked by pirate raids. She had splashed in the wet pools of a small and vicious settlement that she and her sisters had drowned with their magic. She'd had ships and homes and hideaways destroyed, but never had it been personal. These things are never personal, and one could always pick up and go if their family was with them. She knew that humans placed much more value in their living spaces. That was their home. 
Buck's home had been taken from him. It wasn't personal. One day it was just gone. And it was becoming clear now, that Buck had felt homeless and helpless since that day, somewhere in the back of his head. 
Buck was a lost little boy. 
"Pop went back home with Uncle Cattail. Folks were still there, after all, and once the floodwaters receded, they would need someone like him in the city to offer aid and coordinate folks, and that was nothin' to say about the conservation effort; the damage to the wetlands and the flora and fauna and all this and Ma just fuckin' exploded at him saying that he just wanted to go back and be a hero when he should be stayin' with his family and Pop said they need me down there and that he would come back, she knew that he would. 
And he did. He did come back now and again, he did but there was always more work down there. More people needing to be healed or taught about the wild stuff out in the green or what plants to use for what on what and it just never ended, man, and I feel like I didn't get to spend a year with Dad again until I was already out of high school and I missed him all the time, and...fuck. Everything was wrong." Buck's voice was quavering with the tears. Adagio felt a weight of apprehension settle onto her shoulders. 
What was the play here? What could she get from...from making him talk about this? Why had she done this? He tasted like panic. The kind that comes from a starving animal being chased. He was back there in the aftermath, and he was in the years right after and he was nowhere, all at the same time.
"I been back home a few times, now. Last three years, I've been making it a habit to go back at the end of the year for Christmas and my birthday party and...I have to stay at the estate, because if I go out and see the city I'm just going to see that it's still wrong. Even though it's recovered and people came back and...everything is still wrong. Parts of the city are still a ruin, because the local government only cares about the tourist spots. You go off one of the main thoroughfares and suddenly you're in a third-world country. Fucking...fucking fuck...it's different, and it can't go back. Not ever." Buck was mumbling now, his eyes wide with fright. Fury and terror and fear, so much delicious fear and horror dribbled off Buck in shadowy waves. Adagio couldn't help but taste the song of his exquisite despair. 

Buck's head was in his hands. His shoulders were quaking. "...I miss my Dad." He whimpered. 
And then Buck let out a choked, rattling sob, and Adagio was holding him. His cries were that of a child that has realized truly what 'lost' means. There was so much sorrow coming off Buck, now. It was a sprawling lake of funeral flowers and wet books and dried blood. Adagio saw that he was helpless and pathetic; all at once, a weak little child had emerged from the heart of the man who had been inside her this week. 
Adagio thought she'd be disgusted. But truly, she pitied him. That, and something else. She held him to her chest and let him cry. She held his sorrow inside and sat in it with him. She could feel the hot tears smearing her mascara. 
Adagio began counting. Buck took twenty-three minutes to stop crying, and another six to speak again. 

At that time, Adagio was slowly turning this situation over in her head.
What would she say to him? What was the play? How could she even be thinking of taking advantage of him right now? 
Buck was breaking in her arms. Adagio decided that there were no words for this. 
She simply held him and rocked him and hummed softly and when he finally emerged, his face as red as his eyes, he looked up into hers and must have seen that she was weeping with him. Buck shut his eyes hard and opened them again. He looked at her like she was something in a dream. 
"Are you okay?" He asked.
"I will be, Buck. Are you calm?" Adagio said. She spoke as she would to a child.
"...yeah. I am. I haven't gotten to talk much about this with anyone. They wouldn't understand it up here in Canterlot. They'd treat it like...like hot gossip, you know? People know where I'm from so they can tell what I've been through but...how do you explain something like this, I don't..." He trailed off.
"You don't have to explain anymore Buck. I understand. You know tragedy, and tragedy is something that latches on to you and weighs you down." Adagio said. 
"Yeah." Buck said. "I'm sorry that I fell apart like that, that must've freaked you out." He was coming back.
"No, no, Buck. It's fine. I asked you to tell your story, and you did."
"Oh, no that's my childhood." 
"What do you mean?"
"Adagio, I'm 28. Other things have happened to me since I was 12. I went to high school, and saw you, I met the Rainbooms, you know? Life stuff." Buck said. Adagio blinked and did some mental calculations. Right. He wasn't a child. He was a man, by human standards.  She'd forgotten there, for a second. 
"Ah. Yes." Adagio said. "I recognize it may be hard to talk about this if you-"
"I...I honestly feel a lot better. I mean, you actually listened to me." Buck said.
"Well of course, Buck. I said I would, didn't I?" Adagio said. She was idly running her thumbs along Buck's cheeks. She was wiping up the tears. Buck took her hands.
"Thank you. I promise; the teen years are more funny than sad."
"Well, I hope so, Buck. You certainly don't seem like a complete wretch, so I have to hope that you've enjoyed some good times." Adagio said. She took a breath. She was coming back, too. 
"Er...well, yeah. I uh...do you want to talk about your past, now?"
"No Buck, I would like to take a bath. But that can wait."
"You sure? I think I got snot and tears on the front of your pyjama top."
"Focus, Buck. That..." Adagio stopped. Calculated. Closed her eyes. "...that was a brave thing you just did. You seem...you seem tough and inflexible but you're hurt. Sensitive. Am I right in saying that, Buck?" 
"...yeah. That's about right." Buck said.
"And you like to be in control during sex, don't you Buck?"	
"I...I mean, yeah. Hypersexual and all, it makes me feel calm and excited at the same time to take control in the bedroom. What's that got to do with this?" 
"Buck. I'd like to give you a little gift."
"A gift?" 
"A memory. I can see how hurt you are by your memories of childhood. I just want to give you a positive memory for tonight."
"Yeah?"
"Because you only beat the bad memories by piling good ones on top of them." Adagio said. She took Buck's hand.
Buck chuckled. "Laissez les Bons Temps Rouler." He said with a smile.
"Uh?"
"Let the Good Times Roll. S'somethin' that folks like to say down south. Basically what you said. Beat the bad times by havin' more good times 'n you can count." He said with a lazy drawl. Somewhere in that flashback, he had reached shoulder down into the flood water and pulled out a deeper accent. He must've kept it hidden. 
"Yes. Yes! Exactly, Buck, exactly."
"What...what, uh, did you have in mind?" Buck said. He sniffled and wiped his eyes with his shirt. Adagio resisted the urge to boop his nose. Take him seriously right now. He's vulnerable. Use this. 
Adagio lightly caressed the back of Buck's hand. He really seemed to like this sensation, she said to herself. She saw him smile small and sweet as she held his hand. "Something special. You gave me a gift in sharing the first part of your story. No one else could tell it like you. A unique experience; something more valuable than gold and jewels, Buck. So to thank you, I'm going to give you a unique experience in return." She said. Her grin went from soft and caring to malicious in the space of a sentence. Buck shrunk away the slightest bit.
"Will it be sexual?"
"Yes, that's what I was thinking, Buck."
"Oh, thank fuck. I'm exhausted." He said, chuckling. He scratched the back of his neck. There it was; the accent that Adagio was acquainted with. Like a trimmer more posh copy of the color of Buck's home on his tongue. Adagio couldn't help but laugh at that reaction. She caught a glimpse of Buck looking wounded for a split second, then he started laughing too.
"You're a strange man, Purple Prose." Adagio said, wiping away a tear, giggling. 
"Yeah, well, I get that a lot. But hey, I'm never boring!" He said, grinning. They smiled at each other for a moment. Adagio was still holding his hand. 
"Well, Buck. How about you go and wash your face and then meet me in my bedroom, hm?" 
"Sure thing." Buck rose from the couch, and Adagio heard something pop in his shoulder as he stretched. Then a similar pop in his neck as he rolled it slowly. His shoulders slumped with weariness as he turned and headed for Adagio's bathroom. 
"And Buck?" Adagio said sweetly as she began clearing the coffee table.
"Yeah?" She heard him say from around the corner.
"No clothes." She said, depositing the glasses in the sink.
> ((Explicit)) Chapter 8 - Hurt (Christina Aguilera)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You don't have to be nervous. I'm going to take care of you, Buck." Adagio said, without looking up. She was leafing slowly through a book that at this point was beyond antiquity. Diagrams of odd creatures, calculations and runes covered the pages as she searched. She hadn't needed to look up. She could taste Buck's subtle anxiety as he fidgeted on the edge of her bed.
"No, it's...I don't usually Start naked. Usually the clothes come off during foreplay, not before it, for me." He said. He was nervous, certainly. But he was also curious and excited. His feelings drifted to Adagio with a taste not unlike salted caramel. It was a low and subtle taste; he was trying to hide it. Play it cool. Adorable. 
"Are you cold? It Is a bit chilly in here. You can bundle up, if you'd like." Adagio said. She kept flipping. She knew the spell was in here, somewhere. She spoke the names as the pages turned. "...Flash's Burst of Speed...Rockhoof's Unending Endurance...Meadowbrook's Heal Bloom...Starswirl's Audacity-good lord, but Stygian was a petty little thing, wasn't he...?" She mumbled. "Ah! Here we are." 
"What's that book, by the way?" Buck said. 
"Oh, this? An old gift that I've managed to hang onto. It's one of my favorites, though it's been mostly useless until just recently." Adagio said. She stood, holding the book in one hand. It was bound in thick black leather, from a time before leather could be dyed as dark as this. She could only guess at what sort of creature had to be flayed to make it. 
"Oh, a gift from a friend?"
"Not as such, no."
"Oh..." Adagio felt Buck deflate. She grabbed a piece of chalk from her nightstand.  Adagio kneeled down and began to carefully draw some lines, runes and patterns on the floor. "I need to adjust the incantation a bit..." She mumbled. 
"What're you doing, there?" Buck said. Adagio looked up. The only thing covering Buck was a blanket over his lap. What did he have to be modest about?
"I'm getting it ready, Buck."
"Oh, the "Experience"?"
"That's right." She licked her thumb and used it to erase a line or two. Get it right the first time, she thought. You don't want something like this to misfire. "Buck, tell me. Do you happen to know anything about magic?" A geyser of fear. She drank it in and found herself distracted for a moment.
"...I know that magic ain't nothin' but trouble. It doesn't come from here, and it can destroy lives. And protect them, I guess" He spoke slow and careful. His breath smelled of anxiety. Was he afraid to offend her? Precious. Adagio continued on with her prep. 
"Well, that's not innacurate. Magic is the element that bridges art and science and scholarly pursuits. It is...what makes a world wonderful. It can also make the world dark and chaotic. It is power incarnate."
"...and also trouble."
"Yes, but so am I, and yet you're still here." Adagio said. She looked up at Buck with a smoldering gaze. His frown shifted up. 
"Hah, well, I'm starting to think you're worth it." Buck said, quietly looking away. Honeysuckle. He really did admire her.
"So sweet. Well, what I'm going to do is cast a spell on you, Buck. Don't look at me like that! It will be entirely temporary, and if you feel uncomfortable we can reverse it right away. You're safe." Adagio said. She crossed the room and placed a hand on Buck's shoulder. "You can trust me."
"I can?" He sounded genuinely confused.
"For a few minutes, certainly." Adagio chuckled.
"A few Minutes!? I thought this was about sex?" Buck said, alarmed.
"It is, Buck it is! Just...just relax. You won't be disappointed. Now, listen. Spells draw power from natural magic sources and are directed by emotional intent. I'll need you to relax and try to focus a bit for the spell to work."
"Uh, but I don't think we're close to any natural sources of magic, Adagio. It ain't from this world, and it only ever pops up when some bullshit is afoot." 
"That's not entirely true, Buck. It can be tapped and used if you have the right knowledge and skill, even if it's thin. Equestrian magic has been steadily dripping into this world ever since..." 
"Ever since that pony version of Twilight came over, right?" Buck said, quickly. Adagio froze. How much did he actually know? She looked at him, squinted. He smiled, raised an eyebrow. 
"You know Twilight Sparkle?" 
"I mean, everybody does, sorta? But also personally, yeah. We're acquainted. Did you think I was bluffing at Starlight when I said I knew the Rainbooms?" 
"How do...no, nevermind, let's stay on track. Get into the circle, Buck." Buck carefully stepped into the spell circle, stark naked. Adagio took her time looking over his form. 
"Now, Buck, close your eyes, and tell me the emotions you experience when you have sex..." Adagio said. She stepped forward and started running her hands up and down Buck's back, scratching him gently with her nails.
"I...uh...oh man, well, I feel calm. My anxiety melts away, and I get to do something I'm good at. It feels good to express myself and...you know, cut loose." Buck said. Adagio started rubbing his hips. She pressed up against his back, dug her fingers into his waist. 
"Mmm...and what else?" He was warming up. His Lust was rising, slowly. Adagio reached down blindly. Something else was rising as well. She planted a few small kisses on his back. The hair tickled her nose. 
"I feel strong, and vulnerable and hot and cool all at the same time. In control, but...open." 
"Does that embarrass you, Buck?" Adagio said. She began to lightly stroke along his awakening length. She could feel his heartbeat as he swelled.
"Ah...mmm...maybe a little. But that's okay. Because when you open yourself to someone like that, there's always a little bit of trust, you know? Say, uh, what's the name of the...ah, ahhh...the spell you're about to cast?" Buck said. He was squirming a little. Adagio squeezed him, then took a step back. She lifted the book, pointed a finger at Buck.
"Mistmane's Tantalizing Transformation." Adagio said. There was a flash of reddish light and a sound like a coursing river. Buck's body was enveloped in a cocoon of light blue flower petals which unfolded slowly before disappearing in a shower of sparks.

It felt like every muscle in Buck's body had fallen asleep, filled with that strange, painful static. He thought he would wobble, but some kind of force was holding him up. Lifting him off the ground. He was floating in the air, surrounded by something that felt like cool, fresh river water. He thought he heard the sound of a stringed instrument somewhere far away. Then he fell to the ground slowly, doubling down on all fours. He let his breath go-he didn't realize he'd been holding it. The numbness slowly wore off.
Buck heard Adagio gasp as he started to pick himself up. Then she giggled. Oh man, that couldn't be good. What the hell did he let her do to him?
"Don't open your eyes yet, Buck...! One moment." Adagio said, and then Buck heard her footsteps go and come back with the sound of some lightly squeaking wheels. The squeaking stopped in front of him. He felt lighter. Much lighter. 
"Alright. Now, take a deep breath...and look." Adagio purred in his ear. Buck opened his eyes. He saw that Adagio had pulled a standee mirror on wheels in front of him. He lost his breath when he saw what was staring back. 

Adagio covered her mouth to hide the big dopey grin that was forming. She knew the species but had no idea which breed he would become. Buck had become something nostalgic and pleasant, and a bit pathetic. She was enamored immediately and tittered a bit with excitement at her new toy.

Buck had been transformed into a Pegasus pony. His golden eyes blinked rapidly as he looked himself over in the mirror. His wings unfurled with shock. They were larger than Adagio expected. Buck's grape colored skin had become fur, his ropey arms now stubby hooves, his mulberry hair now a curly mane and tail with a wide light blue streak running through. They both nearly touched the ground. Buck began to nervously pace around in circles. Adagio gasped. He didn't have a cutie mark! Now what could that mean? Then her eyes crept down and she bit her lip. He was much bigger down there in this form. He was definitely still hard.
Buck was beginning to hyperventilate. Adagio crossed her arms, standing at his side, smirking.  Buck looked at her, his golden eyes were wide. Wider than any human's. "It's not permanent Buck, it's just for a little while. Breathe." She said, flatly. Buck nodded and closed his eyes. He focused on settling his breathing. Adagio could taste him cycling through emotions, too fast for even her to read. 
"You...turned me into...a pony." He said, squinting in the mirror. His glasses slipped down his snout and hit the floor. Was his voice a bit higher? No, must be her imagination. 
"Yes, that's right, Buck."
"My knees are backwards! Okay...okay...you weren't kidding about givin' me a 'unique experience'. Last girl who said that just poked at my prostate for a while." He said. Adagio snerked. 
"Adorable. No, Buck, I think you'll find this unforgettable. And I could...I could get at your prostate, if you ask me very nicely." She said. She saw Buck blush. He was trembling.
"I have many questions." Buck said, his voice as unsteady as his stance. Buck reached down and slapped at his glasses. They skidded across the floor. Then, carefully, with both hooves, he awkwardly picked his glasses up and put them on, just for them to fall off his face again. He squinted at himself in the mirror. Adagio plucked his glasses from the floor and set them on her night stand, giggling.
"Well, it's clear to me that you miss being small and precious, so tonight, I'm granting your wish. As for what I'm going to do to you..." She growled. She cupped his face in her hands and smiled evilly at him. "I'm going to spoil you, Buck~."  She said. Buck's eyebrows flew up.

"You're going to top me?" He said. Adagio pushed him lightly with her palm. Buck immediately fell over, just catching himself with a stray hoof. His wings flapped and reached out, trying to balance him. 
"Just try and stop me." Adagio said. 
Buck bumbled up to his feet-hooves, they were hooves, holy shit, how did you even work these things? This kinda thing never came up at game night!  He wobbled a bit as he cantered over to Adagio. "This is different...I feel like a stiff breeze could knock me over!" He said. He felt himself brush the ground. "Man, speaking of stiff..." He said, looking down between his legs. 
"Oh, you're just the cutest thing! Come here!" Adagio squealed. She lifted Buck in her arms like a medium sized dog, then tossed him onto her cushy bed. Buck bounced a bit into the air, his wings flapping erratically as he landed. He was on his back, spread eagle, standing at attention. Adagio was looming over him in an instant.
"And look at This handsome fellow...I didn't think you would be all that bigger as a pony, but...mmm...look at it throb..." Adagio said. Buck shivered as Adagio's fingers took a long and ponderous walk up his shaft. It was true; he was much bigger as a pony, but also more sensitive. A light and breathy whimper came sprinting out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Adagio stopped and looked at him. Buck had seen that look before. It was the same look that girls got when they saw a video of a kitten on fucking Instagram. 
"Hold up, Adagio..."
"Well, well, well~. What have we here...?" Adagio purred. Her index finger slowly traced around Buck's new medial ring. Buck's hips rose and he sucked in his lips. He hummed softly under her touch. Adagio sat down behind him on the bed, scooping him up into her lap. Her breasts rested heavily on his head. 
"Adagio, this is...mnngh...! I'm, uh...ahhh...I've having second thoughts, I don't think I-" Buck mumbled, twitching. Adagio squeezed his shaft, giving him a couple of slow pumps. Her fingers couldn't fit all the way around his girthy horse cock. 
"Shhh...no talking, no touching...just let me take care of you, Buck~." Adagio slid her fingers up to Buck's flared cock head, rolling them back and forth over it. This was an exotic experience; using human hands to fondle a pony. Adagio doubted either of her sisters had ever felt something like this. He was hard and hot, and the texture of his new cock was smooth to the touch. No hair here, now.
She could feel him dribbling precum onto her fingers. Buck's hind leg twitched while a breathy, nickering moan came out of his mouth. Adagio cooed softly and used her free hand to support him, stroking at his chest fur. "You're so soft like this, Buck..." She said. 
"Mmm...nnn...ah! Wait, wait wait...!" Buck moaned high and soft. Adagio pumped his cock slowly, letting him watch as her hand traveled up and down in a twisting motion. 
"Is that good, Buck? Your new cock seems more sensitive, doesn't it? Did you know that most ponies are precious little quickshots?" Adagio said. She stopped stroking his chest and reached down to fondle his heavy orange-sized balls. Buck gasped as Adagio rolled her fingers around his sack. "So heavy and warm, Buck...Are you getting close already...?" Adagio pumped him faster. She squeezed his balls as Buck moaned and squirmed. His face was covered by her breasts as he panted heavily. His cock was flexing in her hands. 
Adagio hiked up her knee, making Buck sit up in her lap, between her breasts. She gave his balls a light slap, then started rolling her palm over Buck's cock head, smearing his precum all over it. She pumped him faster. Buck quivered and his voice rose again in pitch. He was bucking his hips and squealing.
"Good boy, good boy...don't hold back..." Adagio whispered sweetly in his ear. Oh, the things she was going to do to him...
"Ahh! S-Stop! Nnnnaagghhh....!" He moaned between fluttering breaths. He was hiding his face in his hair.
His wings flapped desperately with every speedy pump. "What's the matter...? Are you gonna cum, Buck~?" Adagio said. A few feathers fluttered from his wing. She was breaking him, finally. His cute little front hooves were holding onto her arms for dear life. Adagio's slid one hand up, running her thumb back and forth over the back of Buck's flare. Her other had went down and squeezed and twisted and tortured Buck with short, rapid thrusts. 
"No, please, fuck...fuck...FUCK! MMMM!!!" Buck groaned in Adagio's lap. There. Now, all he needs is a little push...
"What are you waiting for...don't you want to come, Buck? Are you gonna cum for Momma, Buck?" She nibbled lightly on his ear. Buck screamed and he blasted a white stream that splattered onto the carpet a foot away. Adagio kept pumping, feeling his cock strain and watching Buck shake as he came again and again. Adagio thought distantly that she may need the carpet steamer after this, but more urgently she sampled the sweet, succulent emotion that was radiating out of Buck. Chocolate and spicy lust and shame.  He was still coming while Adagio cooed in his ear. 
"Oooh...ooh! Good boy, goooood boy!" Adagio said. She stroked Buck's hair as he finally started to come down, his semen dribbling down his cock. Adagio slid her finger up, earning a gasp from Buck, and sucked on it, tasting the dollop of cum she had collected. He was saltier than she was expecting, honestly, but no less sweet than she wanted.
Buck was a panting mess in her lap, his eyes glazed over. Adagio lifted his lithe pony form and set him aside. 

Buck was in another fucking universe. He had come hard when he plowed Adagio on the first night, but this was different. He didn't know he Could get off with just a girl's hand before tonight. And it had been so fucking fast and easy...he was still shaking from it. No, but it wasn't really the handiwork, was it? It was letting her work him over, and her voice...holy shit her voice. He hated how turned on he was right now. He needed to stop, catch his breath and discuss this.
Buck was just catching his breath when he heard the sound of cloth rustling. "Buuuuuck~" Adagio's voice reached out and pulled him by the throat. He looked up. Adagio's was standing, her feet on either side of Buck's head. She was dripping wet, and her eyes burned as she looked down at him. "How long do you think you can hold your breath, Buck?" Adagio said. Before a single word could leave Buck's mouth, Adagio had dropped her hips onto his face. 

Adagio's cunt tasted a bit like perfume and mostly like heat and salt and sweat. She was soaking wet. A soft and curly lawn brushed against Buck's nose as Adagio rubbed her scent all over his face. "Go on, Buck...show me that silver tongue of yours..." Adagio growled, somewhere far away. Her pillowy thighs squeezed his snout as she rubbed against him. Right. She was setting the pace. Buck reached up to try and push her off, but her thick, squishy hips may as well be made of stone.
Buck stuck his tongue out and traced along Adagio's labia, tickling and teasing. He felt Adagio's chuckle reverberate through her body. Buck didn't want it like this.
"Ooh, Buck, you think you're in control?" Adagio grabbed his ears and pressed her weight against him, cutting off his air. Buck began to lick up and down her slit, moaning softly. "Good boy..." She said. She sat up and rolled her hips in slow circles against Buck's tongue. 
"You love the taste of me, don't you Buck~? Do you want more?" Adagio said. Buck focused simply on pleasuring her. 
Just get it done. He dug his tongue into her hole and rolled it in circles, opposite to Adagio's motion. Her body quaked and she moaned, squeezing his ears like handlebars as she rode his face. Eternity ticked by in the back of his head.
Buck pressed his tongue to Adagio's clitoris and let loose a growling moan. The vibration caused Adagio to moan and twitch. If he was going to let her top him, Buck would do his damndest at least to power bottom well. He twirled his tongue lightly around her clit then pressed in and growled again. 
Adagio's thighs squeezed his face and he felt her double over, planting her hands over his head. She started bucking her hips forward hard, using Buck as a sex toy. Her quips stopped and she simply moaned and crushed Buck's face with her thighs. 
He was running out of air. 
He hoped she'd finish soon. He started licking her clit as hard and fast as possible. He didn't think he'd be able to throw her off in this body. He was starting to panic. He felt her trembling and moaning louder, her thrusts getting harder and more desperate.

Adagio's mind was emptying. It had been so long since she'd gotten to ride a face like this. She tasted just the right amount of fear coming from Buck as she ground her snatch into his face. He was whimpering now, far beneath her where he belonged. But what a talent he was! He had dove right in like a good boy, and he was lashing her clitoris like it was the sweetest candy. She was the best thing he'd ever tasted; she had to be. She was grunting and grinding moaning on him. She was so, so close, dancing right on the edge of Buck's tongue and the best orgasm she'd had all week. Buck's fear and adulation swirled into her. 
So close, so close so close, right there! 
She dare not speak now; she couldn't let Buck know how well he was doing, he would have to be conditioned slowly, trained up even more. Not simply an excellent battery but an excellent sex toy as well! Nothing less could suit Adagio Dazzle. 
Adagio was groaning and shaking and roughly grinding against Buck's face, a hair's breadth from drowning the poor boy, when she felt his cute little hoof tapping her thigh. She didn't taste any adulation. Just fear and fury rising together.
Adagio stopped and lifted her hips. Buck spluttered and coughed and gasped for breath, his fuzzy chest spasming. His eyes rolled about the room in panic for a moment before training on Adagio. He looked adorably pathetic. Adagio tried not to laugh. "Buck, are you alright-" 
"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM!?" Buck said, getting off the bed. His wings flared and he pointed an accusing hoof at Adagio. She jumped when he shouted, but crossed her arms and glared back at him.
"What are you talking about?" Adagio said.
"When I said wait, did you hear me at all?"
"What?"
"I asked you to fucking stop, and you ignored me." Buck growled.
"I thought you were being cute, and hesitant." Adagio said, coldly.
"I was hesitant because this is freaking me out! Why the fuck didn't you stop when I asked you too!?" Buck shouted.
"I was enjoying myself. You were enjoying yourself." Adagio said.
"You're not listening to me. At fucking all. Change me back."
"Excuse me? I was giving you a gift, Buck!" 
"I SAID CHANGE ME BACK RIGHT FUCKING NOW!" Buck screamed. Adagio shuddered, then sighed and snapped her fingers. He tasted like genuine, seething rage. 
With a quick flash of light, Buck was restored to his original hunky physique. He wasn't hard anymore. Buck walked quickly to the bathroom and came back with his clothes bundle. 
"Now Buck, listen, I'm sorry you feel affronted-"
"You're sorry I FEEL that way?" Buck spat, pulling his pants up. Adagio felt fury rising back behind her eyes. Her brow furrowed. She stood.
"Yes, but if you're going to act like I hurt you then-" Adagio started, but Buck rounded on her again. He closed his fists and dropped them to the side.
"No, you know what? I'm not having this conversation with you. I didn't come here to be used, or talked down to." Resignation. His anger was getting doused with a stream of sadness and resignation. "Leave me alone, Adagio." Buck didn't bother buttoning his top. Adagio felt her own anger deflate for just a moment as Buck turned and walked out of the bedroom. 
Then Adagio's anger spiked as she thought that all she need do is cast a spell. Just a little hypnotic suggestion, or a show of force fueled by his own love. Love. He had felt love, before. 
Adagio pulled the sheet around her and ran after Buck. 
"Buck, wait! Listen to me, I didn't mean to hurt you." She said it high and urgently. A part of her, an important part, denied this emotion. But her hand moved on it's own to touch Buck's shoulder. He recoiled away and fixed her with a furious look.
"DON'T! Don't touch me right now." Buck said. His glasses were back on, and he was putting his keys in his pocket. He turned to go to the door. Adagio couldn't feel this. She felt her lip quiver.
"Buck, wait, don't go." Half-hearted pleading. She was losing herself again. His hand was on the door. This is your last chance, fool. 
"I'm sorry!" Adagio sobbed. Buck turned and looked at her. Looked at her for a while. He closed his eyes. Resignation. Anger. Patience. Not calm. Resolve.
"Adagio...do you mean that? Do you actually care?" He said. His hand hadn't left the doorknob. Adagio nodded her head, slowly. She dared not utter a single word. 
"Then listen. I'm pissed right now. Stay away from me. I don't...I can't look at you right now. I'm going to leave my number here." Buck said. He pulled a tiny notepad and an average pen out of his front pocket. He wrote down some numbers. "I'm not giving you my address yet. I don't...I don't feel safe with you, do you understand?" Adagio felt her cheeks heat with a dripping stream of tears and shame.
"Call me in a couple of weeks, okay? Let me cool off, and then we can talk about this. I'm not forgiving you, yet." She could see tears in his eyes as well. Anger. Frustration. Resignation. Adagio knew an old wound when she tasted one. She had dug too deep too fast. 
Adagio watched as Buck ran a hand through his hair, trying to straighten himself out and mostly failing. His hands were shaking. This was apparently a thing that they did quite a bit, she was noticing. 
"Buck..." Adagio said. She had sunken to her knees.
Stay with me.
Please don't leave me. 
Not again.
Please.
"Don't." Buck said. The door slammed. 
Adagio was alone again. She could hear the clock on her wall ticking. She had never felt so ugly. 
Adagio slid down onto the cold floor. It felt good. Like Home. She was sinking now, feeling the hot tears pooling under her cheek. She waited until she thought that Buck would have to be in the elevator by now.
Adagio screamed.
> Chapter 9 - Cartoons and Vodka (Jinx Monsoon)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Adagio was in the damned tub again. A bottle of wine rolled across the floor and took a rest up against the bundle of clothes she had hastily left there. She had thrown in a bath bomb this time; which meant that this was serious. She liked to drink during times like this because it slowed her thoughts down, and it took quite a bit of poison to slow her down properly. This was the reason why there were two other empty bottles on the floor.
Perhaps that was a foolish idea tonight, because her thoughts were all about Him. The word was overwhelmed, Adagio thought, distantly, but that couldn't be true. Adagio was the master of her own world; overwhelmed happened to other creatures, never to her. 
And yet here she was sulking and drinking and floating in a cold bath feeling like she'd lost it all. 
It was a mistake.
You don't make mistakes, dear.
But a mistake is just what it had been. She had tried to give Buck a gift, and she'd drank him in a bit too much and she went overboard and now...nothing. She was right back to where she started. 
The monster sulking in its lair.
Drinking in a bathtub, alone. Her third bottle was half empty now. 
She had just meant to unwind with a nice warm colt, and she'd instead unwrapped herself to reveal the beast underneath. 
He hadn't seen a monster when he'd turned to her. He was surprised, the fool.
Adagio had fooled Buck into thinking he was safe with her, and she had wronged him at the first opportunity.
Wronged? Since when did Wrong factor in anymore? This whole miserable human-filled world was wrong. Everything about it was wrong. She'd hidden from it as much as possible, but it was true. 
Perhaps it wasn't worth conquering after all. It was a mistake to think so. Another one.
The drink was warm in her cheeks as she meticulously bathed. Adagio knew that shame could never really be washed out, just covered, but she would try her best.
Try? Since when did Adagio Dazzle have to try?  She had tried with Buck, but he was like a hot tub filled with sake. She had barely dipped into him and his heat had soaked into her skin. Love drunk. She called it love drunk. This could not, under any circumstances, be love. 
Humans didn't deserve love. They were hideous, brutish things, more savage than a minotaur and consistently less impressive. Gods, she was tired of looking at humans.
Buck was just a human. The idiot was overflowing with magic, but he was just a man. Nothing more than a useful pawn. But what had she wanted him for? What would she even do with the power he held? Did she think they'd come back if she became powerful again? Aria didn't answer her calls, and Sonata didn't need her. 
Hell, Sonata was doing better without Adagio. This world truly was backwards. 
It didn't matter, she supposed. Buck was sensitive, and he was gone. 
What had she done to him that was really so terrible? His face then, his face was so twisted and hurt. She'd hurt him.
No, she hadn't. He was perfectly healthy. He had quit because he wanted control. He liked seeing Adagio love drunk and helpless and giggly. He wanted to take advantage of her, the way that men do.
"You know that's not true." The words bubbled out of her and onto the surface of the water. She'd chosen a dark and starry bath bomb. Her words rippled across the surface. It looked like a lake reflecting the night sky.
Adagio felt small. She had felt small in his arms and she had felt small with him inside her and she had felt small when Buck sang to her. 
"It was a gift to myself, wasn't it?" She had wanted to feel in control again. Buck had taken that from her, and he wasn't even trying to. Wasn't he? He just wanted a pretty little slip of a thing to throw around. She had proven too sharp and vicious for that, and he had rejected her. Was this really so much of a surprise? 
"That's not what happened!" Adagio threw the wine glass across the room. It shattered somewhere between the toilet and the mirror. And there were the tears again.
He hadn't rejected her. He wanted her so badly it ached in him. He was starving for her, she had been tasting that every moment he was near. 
He was hurt. He had opened himself to her, shown only some of his scars, and she had hurt him all over again. How could she face him after that? Why did she even care? She didn't need him. He was just a dalliance. A treat. Adagio Dazzle didn't need anyone. She was doing fine on her own. She had what she needed. A roof, clothing, food, security. 
She sunk under the water and hugged her knees to her chest. 
She was so tired of crying.
Later on, Adagio couldn't tell anyone how long she'd been in that tub. It might have been hours or days. 
When she emerged, she still didn't know what to do about Buck. But she did know that she needed to go to work. 





Buck, for his part, was not so much despondent as just tired. Buck had walked home alone and gone to bed and then gone straight on back to work the next day. He hadn't had much to say to Ditzy Doo that day, and he had glared at Scootaloo until she stopped asking. He hadn't gotten much in the way of tips, either. Tired. Buck reasoned that he was just tired.
That was a lie. 
He was lying to himself, again. Tired was for double shifts and sore backs. Tired was hot skin and sweat and cool ground and water. Tired was good sleep. 
Buck was burnt out. Because, fucking fool that he was, he had let another bad girl hurt him. 
He wanted to call Ma, but he knew what she'd say. Could she say 'I told you so' even when they hadn't talked about it before? Buck believed his mother could pull it off. Had he slept? He wasn't sure.
He wanted to talk to Sunburst. He would know what to do; he always did, but Starlight was probably at his place, and she would use Buck's experience as a cudgel against Adagio. 
So what? She'd hurt him. She didn't listen to him-she blurred the line of consent and she had...she didn't care about him. She had used him. Like Berry Punch. Like Her. Like the rest. He missed Coloratura. He missed his Dad. He needed someone to listen to him.
"Buck, what's going on? It's like 2am, isn't it your bedtime?" Sunburst's voice over the phone was groggy and patient. He was a morning person. Buck was cutting into his sleep. 
"Hey, man. I can't explain right now, but I need to talk to you. Can we talk later, tomorrow?" Buck said.
"You mean today?" Sunburst said. 
"Yeah, smartass. Today. Later. Please?"
"You know I'm in your corner Buck. Is it about Adagio?" So he knew. Sunburst let the sentence drop, and Buck had a hard time catching it, holding it in his hands. His voice started to quaver again.
"Y...yeah, man. It's about Adagio." 
"Okay. So, drinks, then?"
"I don't think that's gonna help, Sunburst." 
"No, I mean for me." Sunburst snickered. Buck smiled, at that. 
"Alright, sure. Lobby at the bottom of your place? There's a bar there, right?" 
"That's right. Are you going to be okay for the night, Buck? Do you need me to come over?" 
"No, man, no, I'm alright. She didn't...she didn't hurt me."
"...It sure sounds like you're hurt, Buck." Sunburst said. Buck couldn't hide from his best friend. 
He could trust Sunburst.
"Yeah, well I still need to keep working. The world isn't going to stop just because I had a bad night."
"You sound exhausted. Maybe you should call in and say you won't make it? Mental health day, you know?" 
"No, no, you know that we're always understaffed over there." Buck scratched his head. When he blinked, it hurt. 
"The Cakes keep you understaffed, Buck."
"Point is, they need me at work. I'm not gonna bail."
"Okay, well, get some sleep. Things will look better in the morning."
"Will they?" 
"I don't know, but at least you'll be fully awake. That usually helps me see things clearly, after all." Sunburst's version of sass always warmed Buck up. It was matter-of-fact and endlessly caring. Honestly, that was Sunburst as a whole. 
"Alright, man. I'll see you around, uh..."
"Five?"
"Six, I think. Gotta go home and get changed, maybe have a bite to eat."
"Right. Six, then. Just meet me in the lobby." 
"Okay. Thanks for picking up, Sunburst."
"Anytime, Buck." 





The new job was lacking any measure of challenge. Adagio dressed nice and ran her numbers and looked pretty. It was hectic work, of course. The number crunchers in this building had no semblance of teamwork, and so the numbers were a bit of a mess. Not a puzzle to think through; the spreadsheets of this place were more like a big pile of laundry scattered across the floor. The only thing to do was sort through it. 
It was also very clear that a few of the upper positions in this tower were embezzling quite a bit, and Adagio couldn't guess if Filthy Rich was allowing this to happen due to negligence or simple corruption. It might have been both. Easy.
Filthy Rich was a daft old fool who had spent a lifetime getting what he wanted. Adagio's plan was ruthless and simple. She had to quietly seduce him;  it never took much with men like him. A lingering glance here, a professional smile there, and then when the old bastard was properly fluffed up on entitlement, he would make a move and Adagio would have a choice to make. She could threaten him with court and take a sweet little settlement under the table, or she could enchant him very briefly and have him sign a blank check. 
She probably had enough magical energy in her still to erase his memory of the event, thanks to Buck.
Buck. Damn it. 
She had to pass that wretched little spit of a sweet shop on her way to work every single day. She hadn't been inside since the first time. He didn't want to see her. 
Except he did. She could taste it. She would double around the building instead of crossing in front of the windows, and she'd lay a hand on the side door and she would reach out for him. Each and every time, she recognized his taste, and each time he tasted like stale regret and exhaustion and sad sad sad. 
And somehow, under all of that, he still tasted like love.
Once she saw him run after one of his co-workers, a chesty little thing who had bumbled the hat off her head on her way out. Buck broke into a quick jog to catch her, planting her hat tenderly on her head. Adagio tasted affection and care. That one with the crossed eyes; she wanted him. Her nervous laugh was ugly.
But Adagio could taste Buck's longing. It was faint and far away, but it was there. 	
He wanted to see her again, but he was too upset right now. 
So Adagio waited.

An eternity seemed to pass, and Adagio felt the energy of Buck's love bleed out of her. She had forgotten for the briefest moment what it felt like to be weak. She was going to practice so many spells...but if she did that now, all she would get was hunger and exhaustion. She had to hold on to the piece of Buck still in her. She felt her body slowly turning back to the way it was during her slump. 
She definitely didn't want to go scrounging for scraps at the local bar scene again. She felt above that now; wondered why she ever thought that was acceptable. 
She craved him. How was she going to get him back?
She was pondering this, staring at the bottom of a wine glass. The hotel where she lived was quite upscale even by the lofty standards of Canterlot. It was almost a resort, honestly, but Adagio had rarely needed to use its amenities. Not tonight. Tonight she felt if she didn't stop thinking about Buck she would keep drinking until she emptied her wine cabinet or very eventually died of blood poisoning, whichever came first.  
At least here they would cut her off if she fell from her stool. It was a bitter, comforting thought. As she rolled the splash of white wine around the bottom of her glass, she tasted a bit of cold fear in the air, then anger, then patience. 

Adagio whirled around on her stool, hoping desperately that Buck had come to find her, that he was looking to talk now, that it was okay, he forgave her, he loved her, that he would-and then she deflated as she saw orange skin, a goatee and a pair of big round glasses. 
He was stringy and a bit frazzled and doing his best to look stern at her.
"Yes, can I help you?" Adagio said. 
"Uh, well, uh..." He stopped to gather himself. Did she know him? She severely doubted it.
"If you're looking for a date, it'll have to wait." Adagio said. She flipped her hair and downed the rest of her glass, twirling her finger at the bartender who poured her yet another. 
"No, no, I'm not here for a date. I noticed you sitting here, and I think we need to talk." The young man sat at her side. He spoke quietly, his voice carrying a nasally, rubbery tone. If Buck was something like a slightly scruffy creative writing teacher, this one was more of a physics tutor, she thought. Why was he still here?
"You and I, we need to talk? For what reason, exactly?" Adagio said. She sipped at her glass.
"I'm Sunburst. Buck's best friend? I'm also dating Starlight Glimmer." The bartender ducked out of the way as Adagio had a spit take. 
"Excuse me!?" 
"I vouched for you, you know. I told Starlight that you weren't causing Buck any harm, that it was good he was finally seeing someone again." Sunburst said. He tasted like slow, rising anger beneath a lid of temperance.  The bartender quietly slid him a mojito. Sunburst nodded to him with a smile, then he turned back to Adagio with a grim look. "Buck told me about what happened." He said. 
"I see..."
"And because I care about him, I want to know what happened from your perspective. I want to know why you hurt my best friend." He said. His tone suggested that he would not be turned away from this line of inquiry.
Adagio could have boiled the blood in his veins with the amount of magic she still had inside herself. Her temper flared. Explain myself? What made this shrimpy little...librarian think he had the right to ask that? How far had she truly fallen?
"...It was a miscommunication."
"These kinds of things often are."
"I tried to give him a gift; to treat him. He opened himself up to me, and I lost myself a bit and...and I took advantage of him, and I went too far. He asked me to stop, but I refused to hear him." Adagio could taste the cold fury coming off Sunburst. It sat behind a protective instinct that she thought only came from family, be they blood or found. He was here to protect Buck from her. 
"Buck...he doesn't want to feel used. He had a previous relationship where that's all that ever happened. You understand, don't you? He's more than just a sex toy. You get that, right?" Sunburst was being very careful. Adagio was inwardly thankful for this, but she refused to show it. 
"I know, I know, I know. I didn't mean to do that. I lost control, and I'm very sorry about that."
"Uh-huh."
"You're his friend, right? Has he talked to you about me?"
"Of course." Sunburst said. Adagio felt excitement flutter in her stomach.
"Well, well, what did he say? Wait, wait, no, what's his favorite food? How does he like to entertain himself!? What are his hobbies? Favorite color? Does he like sweets, or does he just make them? What's his favorite position-"
"Okay, I'm going to stop you right there! I'm not here to gossip. I came here because I need to know where you stand in all this. Starlight is certain that you're trying to eat Buck alive. Are you?"
"...No." 
"Then what do you want with him, Adagio?' Sunburst asked. It was a simple question, but for Adagio it was like a wrecking ball smashing into a dam.
"I don't knooooooow!!!" Adagio put her head in her hands and let fly a low, pitiful wail. "I just don't want him to hate me! I want to see him again! I don't care what happens next!" Sunburst had caught her off guard and slightly drunk, the bastard. She was a mess. She tasted Sunbursts' genuine concern. He was filled with it. 
"...okay. Well, I have good news and bad news, then. Buck will probably forgive you. He's crazy about you."
"He is...?"
"You have no idea, do you? You two have more in common than I thought." Sunburst said with a chuckle. "He was so excited to talk to me about you. I mean, not about this situation, but about you."
"Do you-do you think he'll let me see him again?" Adagio hiccuped. She looked at Sunburst, expecting a bemused expression, but he was deadly serious. 
"Well...maybe not. Buck is sensitive, and you really hurt him, there. So what I suggest is you show him some of yourself. Be vulnerable. And apologize."
"I said I was sorry!"
"That's not the whole of it, though. You have to say something like "I'm sorry I hurt you." You have to own it. And then; "I promise it won't happen again." And then you have to follow through. Respect his boundaries. If you can't do that, you aren't worth his time." Sunburst said. 
"Excuse me?" Adagio hissed.
"Buck...he's had more than his fair share of women that want to use and abuse him. He doesn't need that. If that's what you are, then he won't bother with you." Sunburst said. "He shouldn't, anyway. Starlight thinks that you want to suck his soul out and use it to destroy the world. I think that's a bit silly; he's just one man, but he's also my best friend. I refuse to let you hurt him again. So I ask again, what do you want with Buck?" Sunburst was a shield, she realized. Adagio looked him over. He was holding his drink gingerly, and he was making eye contact, and he was shaking just a little bit. She tasted his fear, and it was eclipsed by his determination. He would not back down, not when it came to Buck.
Adagio hated this feeling. She respected the man's resolve. She tempered her own.
"I...I just want to see where this goes. Buck, he's..."
"A good guy."
"Yes! And I think that a good guy is what I need right now. Does it have to be anything more than that?" Adagio said. She gritted her teeth at the end of the sentence. This was harder than she thought it would be. 
"Can you promise me that you won't hurt him again? Can you swear that you'll work through this? Because Buck is so much more fragile than you think. Just because he looks tough, that doesn't mean he's made of stone." Sunburst said. 
"I swear. I'm not going to hurt Buck again. He's different, isn't he?"
"He's one of a kind." Sunburst said. He looked at the ground for a moment. "Do you want to see him? I can come with you." Sunburst put a hand on Adagio's shoulder. He smiled. Adagio grabbed her drink, threw the whole thing into the back of her throat, and took a breath.
"Yes. Can we do that?" She paused. "Please?" 
"Sure. Just call him up. He's calmed down by now." 
"Are you sure, it hasn't been long..."
"It's been two and a half weeks. And he's miserable." 
"Oh..." Adagio pulled the phone from her pocket. She hit Buck's contact and her finger hovered over the call button. "...but what should I say?" She said, desperately. Sunburst pinched the bridge of his nose. 
"Just...say, Buck, it's me, I'm genuinely sorry and I want to apologize to you. Can you tell me when you're free? Don't be creepy, or anything, just be honest." Sunburst said. Adagio looked at her phone, then back to him. He was giving a thumbs up. 	Adagio hit the call button. She heard a click.
"Hello? Who is this?" Oh no. Oh no, he had actually picked up, he wasn't supposed to do that! "Hello?" No no no no no this was all wrong no stop, stop spiraling, just talk to the man! "Is anyone there?" Adagio felt fear grip her heart. She looked at Sunburst, who was still giving a thumbs up, but now looking concerned. 
"Buck! Buck, it's me, it's...it's Adagio."
"Oh." 
"Pleeeeasedon'thangup."
"...okay?"
"Listen, Buck I..." Adagio looked at Sunburst. "I...well, I'm sorry Buck. I wanted to call and say I'm sorry and I didn't mean to hurt you, but I know that I did." Adagio stammered. She felt embarrassment flush her cheeks. Sunburst was nodding his head, rolling his hands at her to keep going. "I pushed you too far when you were vulnerable to me, and I know that there's nothing I can do to erase that..." Adagio was simpering now. Sunburst was still nodding, but more slowly. "But, I don't want that to be the version of me that you know, Buck. I'm better than that. I promise. And you deserve better than that, Buck!" Adagio put a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide with shock. Sunburst looked just as surprised. 
Adagio held her breath.
"...okay." Buck said. She couldn't taste him. Adagio hoped that he was feeling forgiving. 
"Could I please see you sometime soon?" Adagio said. Her words tiptoed slowly, trying to navigate this minefield. 
"...Yes. If we're with other people." Adagio felt herself grow heavier with shame. 
"Understood, Buck. Where can we meet?" Adagio said. 
"Uh...how about my place, I guess?" Buck said.
"Okay, I'll be there. Can I bring Sunburst?" 
"What? Sunburst is there?"
"Hey Buck!" Sunburst said, cheerily.	
"What the fuck, Sunburst, did you talk her into this?"
"OopssorryBuckI'mgoingthroughatunnelIcan'thearyouseeyouonSaturdaybyyyyeeee~!" Adagio rambled. 
Rather than stow it in her pocket, she whipped the phone across the room where it shattered against a pillar. A member of the hotel staff with a broom and dustpan immediately walked over to clean it up.
"Oh hey, isn't that Norman, from Donut Joes?" Sunburst said.
"I cannot BELIEVE that worked!" Adagio said, hands waving incredulously.
"You mean talking to him?"
"...yes!" Adagio said. She held up her hand as another drink was offered to her. 
"Maybe you should try it more often, you think?" Sunburst said.
"What? Absolutely not, that was exhausting." Adagio said. Sunburst slapped his forehead.





The end of the week came, and so too did the fated day. Sunburst had had to explain to Starlight that she could come to the next one, this was just a trial thing, a little get-together. A guy's night. Starlight had told Sunburst that he already has a guy's night where he plays Ogres and Oubliettes. Adagio was shocked that this didn't turn into a fight as Sunburst explained it. He was already in his pyjamas, driving himself and Adagio down the way to Buck's place. 
"So, what kind of lovely little estate does Buck live in?"
"Estate?"
"Yes, what sort of sweet little abode does Buck hang his hat in? He owns a house, doesn't he?"
"...what?" Sunburst's eyes were on the road, but Adagio saw him stifle a laugh.
"What do you mean, 'what'? Buck is clearly an exceptional individual, cultured and talented, surely he lives in a delightful little cottage or a studio loft?"
"Prepare to be disappointed." Sunburst said. They pulled into an apartment complex overlooking a small copse of trees. Everything was wood-paneled and blocky. The windows had venetian blinds, dear gods.
"A little Lynchian, Right? You know, the first thing Buck said when I came to visit place is that it looks haunted." Sunburst said, with a chuckle. He pulled into the parking lot. There were some skid marks on the ground, and a dumpster down the way that was well graffitied, and by the look of things, had definitely been set on fire once or twice. 
"Oh." Adagio's mental image of Buck sitting on a balcony overlooking Center Park with a beret on his head and a paintbrush in his hand was scurrying away with the raccoon she saw crawling out of the dumpster. 
She stepped out of the car, wishing she was in her bathtub at the moment. She was wearing a T-shirt with Joan Jett on the front, and sweatpants. Sunburst had encouraged her to keep it casual. Adagio had elected to go without a bra; she refused to go to Buck's place without properly armoring up first. "So Buck lives here. In this...cozy little place." Adagio said through gritted teeth.
"I mean, it's not so bad. Because, like you said, Buck lives here." Sunburst said, giving Adagio a nudge. There was definitely a wide standing pool of vomit on a nearby curb. Adagio shuddered. What had she gotten herself into? She'd rather there be a body there. It was easier to step over a body. 
"Which one does Buck live in?" Adagio said, eyes straight. 
"Follow me, he's up on the second floor." Sunburst said. They wandered up a stubby little flight of stairs, Adagio ignoring the wolf whistle from some blonde, red-skinned reprobate as they went. It smelled a bit like stale piss in this hallway. Adagio clenched her jaw. This will be worth it. He'd better be worth it. 
Sunburst brought Adagio up to a numbered door, then knocked. "Oh, wait, did you want him to see you when he answers the door?" Sunburst whispered.
"Why would I want that!?" Adagio whisper-yelled. 
"So you can apologize to him, Adagio. Mean it, get it out of the way."
"What? I'm not mentally prepared for that! What if he doesn't want to hear it? What if he's still afraid of me?" Adagio hissed. Sunburst squinted at her from behind his glasses. 
"Well, you're going to have to do it at some point tonight." Sunburst said. Adagio looked at the ground, crossed her arms. "I don't think I can do this." She mumbled. 
"Do what?" Buck said, behind her. Adagio startled and squealed.

Buck had gotten his resolve up and gone down to the corner store to gather the ingredients of a good night. He wasn't sure what exactly Sunburst was planning, or what Adagio would do, but he knew that alcohol and soda and chips were probably very necessary for the night's events. He was carrying a stack of these items up the stairs when he noticed that Sunburst and Adagio were standing outside his apartment. Oh shit. This was actually happening, wasn't it? He felt his pulse quicken instantly. He wondered if Adagio even knew how to apologize. She'd done a decent job sounding sincere over the phone, but Sunburst probably put her up to it. 
Damn it, Sunburst. Buck caught himself resenting Sunburst for being such a good friend. He hoped that they weren't in danger tonight, bringing Adagio over. This was a stupid idea, wasn't it?
But then Buck saw Adagio look at the ground and doubt. She was whispering urgently to Sunburst. She looked scared. Buck took a deep breath, and a part of him said then that this would be worth it.
She was trying. He might as well try his best in return.
She'd screamed a little when he rolled up. Oops. Stupid quiet footsteps!
"Hey, uh, Sunburst, my hands are full here, can you get my keys out of my pocket?" Buck said. He turned and pointed his hip at Sunburst, who reached into his back pocket to grab his keys. He saw Adagio watching this exchange with open fascination. Weird. 
"What's all this?" Sunburst said, unlocking the door.
"Snacks, for tonight. There's not really a plan, is there? I figured we may as well get like a little drunk and watch cartoons or somethin', I dunno." Buck stole a glance at Adagio. She wouldn't meet his eye.
"Cartoons?" Adagio's curious voice sounded miles away, barely a squeak. 
"Oh? We're in for a treat, then!" Sunburst said. You need a hand with those?" He stepped aside and let Buck in.

Adagio quietly shuffled into the little space after Sunburst and Buck. She couldn't look at him. Sunburst gave her a glance over his shoulder, tilting his head at Buck. Adagio glared at him hatefully, then looked away.
"Just make yourself comfortable!" Buck said for a million miles away. Adagio took a slow look at Buck's apartment.
What she saw was a shrine to discarded hobbies. Buck had a modest TV set up with what she distantly recognized as some video game consoles that children liked to play. A Nintendo something-or-other, she thought. There was a coffee table in front of an old couch that looked like it itched, slightly. Adagio saw scattered clues to Buck's goings-ons; there was a weight set in one corner, a dust-covered electric piano leaning on one wall, a small wooden box filled with shiny rocks, and what looked like a poorly made replica of a sword against a hat rack that had some hoodies and a peacoat hanging from it. There were no paintings or pictures on the wall. Across from her, Adagio saw a large window overlooking a scenic view of the disgusting parking lot she had crossed. 
Next to the window was a desk that looked like it could be adjusted. An office chair sat before it, one that had an impression in the seat that Adagio recognized as the imprint of Buck's ass. There were two or three mugs of definitely cold tea sitting on the desk, scattered papers and writing implements, a laptop computer, it looked like, and sticky notes scattered and hung all over the place. They said things like 'Abandon perfection' and 'Remember that drafting is just explaining the story to yourself' and 'for fuck's sake clean up these mugs before they come over'. 
Across from the desk on the other side of the window were three cheap-looking bookshelves that appeared to be standing room only. A truly eclectic collection of novels and instructional drawing books and comic collections and some self-help books. Poetry books as well, and Adagio saw on a separate shelf were books of various shapes with names like 'Ogres and Oubliettes', 'Numenera' and 'Shadow of the Demon Lord'. There were stubby little books with big-eyed characters on them sitting on a stubby little shelf. The toppest shelves of the largest one were dominated by weighty tomes with names like 'The Art of Overwatch'. 'One Piece Color Walk' and 'The Impressionists and their Legacy.' Adagio had so many questions.
"Hmm..." Adagio hummed in thought. She heard things being set down in the hilariously tiny kitchen across the apartment. Her eyes slid back to the desk. She looked down below the desk and her eyes lit up when saw a shoebox that said "Good Vibes" in marker on the top hidden in the corner of the desks' shade. 
Adagio squatted down and opened the shoebox, expecting to find evidence of a kinky little fixation of Buck's, and frowned when she found a few plastic containers with labels like 'CBT' and 'THC' on them. Never in her life did she think she'd be disappointed to find drugs instead of dildos. Well, then again, hadn't Buck said that a girl had gotten at his prostate before? Perhaps he had simply gotten his boxes mixed up. That sounded plausible. 

"Are you going through my stuff?" He was behind her again. How did he keep doing that? Adagio rose to her feet and began stammering in the same motion. Apologies and excuses dammed up on the tip of her tongue.
"I-I-I didn't, I mean, I didn't mean to, I...sorry?" She said. Buck's face was stern as he looked from her to his desk. A shadow of cold horror crossed his face.
"Did you look at my search history?" Buck asked, with the stillness and patience of a hanging guillotine.
"...your what? I-I mean, uh, no?" Adagio said. She was now anxiously tapping her index fingers together. Buck sighed.
"D'you normally rifle through people's things when you visit, or am I just special?" Buck said. Adagio didn't have an answer. She looked at her feet. "If you wanted to know my interests, you could just, y'know, ask me." Buck said. Adagio nodded her head. Buck turned to head back to the kitchen. I'm screwing this up so bad already, Adagio thought.
"Actually, Buck, I think Adagio wanted to say something to you, isn't that right?" Sunburst said from the kitchen. Adagio glared over in his direction just to see Sunburst waving his hands urgently at her, giving her the kind of look you gave to a small child who refused to take a nap. "Go on." He mouthed out.  Adagio put her fingers to her temples and shut her eyes.

"Buck." Adagio said. She was getting used to the feel of his name on her tongue. Buck turned around and looked at Adagio. His face was terrifyingly blank. She couldn't get a read on his emotional state. 
"Buck, I'm sorry for what I did. I, I hurt you and I didn't listen to you and I took advantage of you, and I'm sorry. I understand if even after tonight you don't want to see me, but I need you to know that I'm truly remorseful for what I did. You deserve better treatment than that." It was hard to look at him. His lighthouse eyes were shining down into her. There was nowhere she could hide, so she squared her shoulders and looked back at him. "I don't expect you to forgive me, but I promise you it won't happen again." 
"...okay." Buck said, simply. He turned and stepped back into the kitchen. Adagio looked at Sunburst. He was smiling and nodding at her. Adagio shrugged at him, gestured at Buck. Sunburst nodded again. 
"Okay? What does that mean, okay?" Adagio said. She followed after Buck.
"It's okay. I forgive you, Adagio."
"Just like that!?" Adagio said. She noticed her own tone rising in indignation. Buck turned to her and smiled. 
"Just like that." His eyes were gentle and warm, but then they flickered to stern. "I'm letting this go, Adagio. But understand; you're on probation." 
"What does that mean, exactly?" 
"I'm giving you another chance. Because I really do like you, Adagio." Buck said. He stepped toward her. Adagio took a step back. "I want to be able to trust you." He moved closer again. Adagio stepped away, but Buck kept approaching. Adagio felt fear coursing through her. Her own fear. He was a tidal wave.
"And I know that you want me to trust you, too. You want to be better, I know you do." Buck said. Adagio's hip bumped into the couch. She was running out of space to retreat. Buck was starting to look concerned. 
Stop that. Please.
"So I'm letting you stay in my life. Do you want to stay?" The dam behind Adagio's eyes was cracking again. She tried to step back and her back instead found the wall.  
"Yes." Adagio choked out.
"Do you like me? Do you want to try being my friend?" Buck asked. His smile was small and soft. Adagio wanted to touch his lips. She wanted to hold him. She wanted to do much, much more with him. 
But 'friends' sounded wonderful.
"Yes, Buck. I do." Adagio said. It was a whisper now. 
"Then it's okay." Buck said, simply. He smiled and patted her shoulder. 
She believed him. She thought that her knees might buckle under her. Don't start crying again. No pity, tonight.
"You okay?" Buck asked. She nodded at him. "Okay. You want to sit down while I finish getting things together?" Buck said. His big strong hand had shifted to the small of her back again. His warmth was spreading through her. 
"Mhm." Adagio hummed. She sat on the couch and she watched Buck's every move as he headed back to the kitchen.

"Hey! Hey you, you stop that! I'm the one hostin' tonight, so you don't get to do any work!" Buck shouted at Sunburst, who was washing what looked like a couple of pots and a baking sheet. 
"Aw come on Buck, let me help at least a little."
"Fuckin' scram, Sunburst! Stop cleaning and go sit down! Go on, git!" Buck said. He was smiling. So was Sunburst.
"Jesus man, are you crying...?" Sunburst said. He must've thought Adagio couldn't hear him.
"Shut up, Sunburst!!!" Buck said. "Go shut up over there! On the couch!" Buck pointed.
"Fine, fine, I'm going, don't hit!" Sunburst said, hands up. He chuckled as he flopped onto the couch.
"Thank you!" Buck said. He swiftly gathered up a bowl of doritos and a bowl of fritos, setting them on the coffee table. Then he ran back to the kitchen. 
"Y'all! What's your first round gonna be? We got vodka and rum, and we've got coke and mountain dew!" Buck said. Vodka and mountain dew sounded cursed, so the answer was obvious. Buck came back after orders with three rum and cokes. Then he scurried back into the kitchen, coming back with a plate that had...Adagio gasped; a bunch of blood orange tarts, the same as what she had at Sugar Cube Corner!
Buck brought out the delectable treats and placed them before Adagio and Sunburst. He looked at them, sheepishly.
"It's my first time making them at home, so don't be a dick." Buck said. Adagio had taken one into her mouth before he even finished the sentence. The crust was grainy, but the filling was tangier than what she'd had before. 
"I...prefer my crust to be fluffier." Adagio said.
"Ah." Buck said. She tasted his dejection. She frowned.
"But, but the filling is amazing!" Sunburst said, quickly. 
"You think so?" Buck said. Hope.
"Yes, absolutely! Just a tiny bit more practice, and they'll be perfect. You have a real talent for this, Buck." Adagio said.
"Aw man, that's nothing. You should see the kinda stuff my sister puts together. She taught me everything I know about sweets." Buck said. He bashfully turned away, grabbed some little disposable plates from the kitchen, and set them on the table. "Okay, done. So what are we watching?" Buck said.
"Well, I don't know. Adagio, what kinds of cartoons do you like?" Sunburst asked. Adagio had a mouthful of tart in that moment. Cartoons. Cartoons were those things that children watched, right? She didn't own a television; the one in the living room of her suite belonged to Sonata. What was the play, here? She could lie about it, but somehow that seemed like a hilarious faux pas considering the amount of illustrated characters on Buck's bookshelf. 
"Uhm...that is to say...I...don't...know? I don't really watch cartoons." 
"What!?" Buck said, finally sitting down. Oh no. Had she offended him?
"Uh-oh." Sunburst said. "Media arts and Animation was Buck's major." He continued.
"Until I quit." Buck corrected. "I know you don't have a computer..."
"WHAT!?" Sunburst said. Adagio cringed.
"Do you like, not know anything about cartoons or do you not like them?"
"I don't...I don't know, I haven't really watched any." Adagio admitted. She cringed again as the two men gasped in awe. 
"You're joking!" Sunburst said. He was looking at Buck, incredulously.  Adagio felt something sunny and lemony bubbling up from Buck. 
"Look at his face, look at his face!" Sunburst mouthed out. Adagio turned her head and saw that Buck had his hands put together in a prayer position in front of his mouth. He was smiling ear to ear. His eyes were wide.
"Uh..." Adagio's eyes flitted from Buck's face, then to Sunburst's, then back to Buck's in panic. 
"Adagio!" Buck said, urgently. He took her hands in his. Adagio's eye twitched. She blushed. She was completely lost, and a little terrified and perhaps teeniest, tiniest bit turned on. 
"Yes Buck!?" Adagio said.
"Would you like me to introduce you to the wonderful world of nerd shit?" Buck said.
"...yes?" Adagio said. 
"Starting with animation, obviously?" Buck said. It was urgent like he was asking for life-saving surgery or a comfort salad. Adagio looked to Sunburst. His smile was almost as big as Buck's. No help. Buck's hands were trembling around Adagio's.
"Am I going to regret it if I say 'yes?" Adagio squeaked. Buck looked quizzical for a moment, seemed to run some numbers in his head. He looked to Sunburst for guidance.
"Yes?" Buck asked.
"No!" Sunburst said.
"No? Maybe?" Buck asked.
"Maybe. A little." Sunburst said.
"A little?" Buck said.
"Maybe." Sunburst said.
"Maybe." Buck said to Adagio, with finality. This told her exactly nothing about what she was signing up for.
"...okay." Adagio said. 
"Yeah?" Buck said.
"I said Yes, Buck!" Adagio said, annoyed. 
"Excellent. Sunburst! Disney or Ghibli first?"
"Disney! I wouldn't mind hearing you sing tonight." Sunburst said, already drinking from his glass.
"What?" Adagio said.
"Rad! Let's do it. Moana?" Buck said.
"Moana!" Sunburst said.
"Moana?" Adagio said.
"YEAH!" Buck said. He and Sunburst high-fived. 

Adagio learned a few things that night. For one, Buck really loved talking over animation. Sunburst had had to tell him to let Adagio enjoy the film instead of talking about the specific animation and compositing and cinematography techniques on display, or the subtleties of the scripting or wondering how the "boards played out" whatever that meant. A bard would always be a bard, no matter the medium, it seemed.
He refused to be quiet during certain musical numbers, however. As soon as the song "You're Welcome" started up, Buck was on his feet, singing along and posing and dancing. And that was before he had gotten drunk. Adagio fell head over heels in love with the villains of the disney films she was shown, especially a certain sea witch who swam and sang and caroused and coerced with charm and charisma. Buck had spent that whole musical number smirking at Adagio with his arms crossed, but she hadn't noticed. She was absolutely enraptured. 
They had taken a brief break from movies then, and had switched gears to some...sort of thing called 'Centaurworld' that Buck seemed to like a lot. It was a colorful and extremely inventive mess about a fierce equine woman traveling with a gaggle of absolute morons. How nostalgic. When Buck said he thought this was what Equestria was like based on Sunset's testimonials, Adagio admitted that that assessment was not entirely inaccurate. 
At some point during the goings-on, Adagio managed to sit on the floor between Buck and Sunburst, and while some kind of visual spectacle about a goldfish turning into a little girl was playing out in front of her, she had felt Buck reach out and start lightly caressing her hair. Was he patronizing her, or could he just not help himself? He never even seemed to notice that Adagio was without a bra.
Adagio decided that she definitely did enjoy animation, especially when Sunburst mentioned that Buck apparently had a 'big fuck off hentai collection' which seemed to make Buck nervous for a half-second before he threw back a shot of rum and said that it was 'waaaaay bigger now since you last saw it'. Adagio didn't know what hentai was; it sounded a lot like a dick joke, but Buck explained it was animated pornography and 'shut up Sunburst it's ART!'.
The night progressed at a silly and jocular pace, Adagio bathing in the intense platonic camaraderie between Buck and Sunburst. She could swear they had to have been married in a previous life. As the alcohol kept flowing, it carried Buck and Adagio's reticence downstream. Sunburst refused at any point to let the conversation get awkward. Sunburst seemed to have a weird reference to him and Buck's friendship for every situation. At least once he got Buck to start rambling in a humorously angry voice just by saying the word...THACO? They had spelled it out, but Adagio didn't understand what an Armor Class was so it all sailed right over her head. She caught herself feeling jealous of their enduring bromance, but they never excluded her. In fact, Buck seemed keenly interested in hearing her opinions and impressions about the films that were presented to her. She couldn't comment on the technical aspects, but her mind was abuzz with costume ideas and thoughts about the musical numbers and the drama, the drama! 

At some point later on in the night, Adagio and Sunburst were washing their glasses out in the sink, getting ready to switch from rum to vodka, when Sunburst started chuckling. 

"Do you see it yet?" Sunburst said, cryptically. She could see the pleasant heat in his cheeks from the drink. 
"See what?" Adagio said, rinsing her cup.
"Buck. Do you see it in him? He's...he takes a long time to open up to people."
"He does?"
"Well, you're an obvious exception, but usually he takes a while to open up to people and show them what he actually is. Do you see it, yet?" Sunburst said. He chuckled to himself like he was telling a very private and very intertextual joke.
"...I'm not sure what you mean. What Buck actually is? What is he, exactly?" Adagio said. Her words slurred just the tiniest bit. It was nice. 
"Ooooh, Adagio. Can I call you Adagio?" Sunburst said, smirking. 
"That is my name, yes." Adagio said.
"That's Buck's secret, Adagio. When he gets used to you? He's the most affectionate man in the world."
"Excuse me?"
"Hey Buck, babe, I could use some love right nooooow!" Sunburst shouted. Buck, who Adagio was very certain had been sitting upside down on the couch watching some Looney Tunes, was suddenly behind Sunburst. He wrapped his arms around Sunburst and lifted him up, rocking him back and forth. Adagio could swear she heard Sunburst's back crack.
"Hnnngh! Izzat good enough?" Buck said, smiling. He was holding Sunburst up in his arms. He made the man look weightless. 
"Yes, yes, feeling very loved now, thank you!" Sunburst said, laughing. He patted Buck's beefy arm and Buck set him down gently. "See what I mean? He's full of love!" Sunburst said.
"Thish isn't even my final form!" Buck said, patting Sunburst on the head.
"Okay, Adagio, you try. He likes you, I think, so it should work. Wait. Buck!?" Sunburst said. Buck had in the space of Sunbursts' sentiment gone over to his desk to pick up a fidget cube that he was now messing with. 
"Huh!?" Buck said. Adagio looked at him incredulously. How does he move so quietly?
"Buck." Sunburst said. He smirked at Adagio, then stood behind her and grabbed her shoulders. "Buck, you like Adagio, right?" Sunburst pointed at her for emphasis, poking her cheek lightly. Adagio wished that looks could actually kill. 
Buck for his part put his hands on his cheeks and giggled like a schoolgirl. "I-I-I dunnooooo....!" Buck said, almost demurely, if the role of 'demurely' was played by a very drunken actor in an off-broadway play.
"What, Buck, c'mon, I know you like her, don't pretend!" 
"Oh, hey, Scoots, when did you get here?" Buck said. Scootaloo was standing next to Buck now, apparently, and she was also apparently at this party. She had a bottle of hard cider in her hand. Adagio found this adorable because it was clearly half empty and she was drunker than Adagio was.
"He's CRAZY about you, lady! Did you know that!?" Scoots said, half focused on Adagio and a quarter focused on not spilling her drink. The rest of her focus was waiting to be picked up on a curb somewhere. "You gotta know that, I mean look at you!" Scoots said. 
"Awww, is she flirting?" Adagio said, looking at Sunburst. Sunburst shrugged. 
"No! A little! I'm not on trial here! Buck! Buck likes you, I swear!" Scootaloo said. She ran around to Buck's back and started pushing Buck in Adagio's direction. It would have been entirely ineffectual were Buck not drunk. In this instance, Buck was jostled by the small woman in the direction of the kitchen where Adagio was drying her hands. She couldn't decide if this was terrifying or all according to plan. Buck was smiling apologetically. Was that it? Or was he just smiling at her? It was hard to tell. 
"Do you want to try it, Adagio? Just ask him." Sunburst said. It was probably meant to be a stage whisper. Adagio looked at her feet, then at Buck. Scootaloo was trying to climb up his back.
"Buck?" Adagio said. The blush was from the drink. It had to be. This was such a nothing conversation. Why was she so nervous, now?
"Yeah, Adagio?" Buck said. Scootaloo was nibbling on his bicep. Buck grabbed her with both hands and then Scootaloo squawked as Buck casually threw her onto the couch. 
"Can I have some love, Buck? Just a little bit?" Adagio said. She held out her arms. 
"A little bit? That's like, that's like a big ask, from me." Buck said, scratching his chin.
"It really is. He's a big ol' lap dog, that one!" Scootaloo said. Adagio saw her finger raise from the couch, then flop back down. 
"Shut up, Scoots!" Buck said, quickly.
"Love you too, big guy!" Scootaloo said.
"But, yeah. I think I can do that." Buck said. He stepped over to Adagio. Her heart was racing. She hadn't put her arms down, she realized. Buck slid his arms around her shoulders, pulled her to his chest. He was so gentle! Adagio squeezed him and sighed. It was a really good hug, Adagio thought. She wished she had better words for it, but she was thoroughly poisoned already, and now a wave of sugary affection was seeping into her dummy brain and making it dummier. Adagio peaked over at Sunburst, who was walking over to the couch with a glass of water for Scootaloo, leaving Adagio to cling to Buck in the kitchen. 
"I'm so glad you apologized." Buck whispered. "I didn't want to stay mad at you." He said. 
"S...stop making me cry, you big...dummy...!" Adagio said. Her hands clutched the back of Buck's tank top. Her tears wet the front. "Please tell me this is okay. I'm allowed to be here, right?" Adagio murmured.
"You are. I want you to be here." Buck said. He was quiet for a moment. "Do you really, actually want to get to know me, Adagio?" Buck said. She felt his whole body hitch for just a second. She nodded against his chest.
"I really, actually do." She said, and it...it was true. 
"And you're okay with going slow...? It's going to be weird. I'm weird, and I'm...a lot. You're okay with being my friend first, right?" Buck whimpered. Adagio looked up at him. He was crying too, now. It was her fault. But, she knew that she could fix this. She'd been doing it all night.
"Mhm. I'm okay with going slow, Buck." Adagio nodded. She smiled at him.
Buck's smile crumpled, and Adagio thought for a moment that she had said the wrong thing. But she tasted him, and he tasted like relief. The kind of relief that comes at the end of a hard day and the beginning of a warm bath.
He wanted to ask her something else. She could see it on his face, but she also tasted that he was terrified. Adagio kept smiling, as sweetly as she could. There was a deep hurt in his eyes. 
This wasn't her; someone else had done this to Buck. 
Whoever it was, she would destroy them if she ever had a chance. 
"We can take our time, Buck." Adagio said. She wasn't sure if it was the right answer. Buck leaned down and kissed her forehead. It was like fireworks went off in her brain. Adagio felt unsteady like she would faint, but Buck held her up. He wouldn't let her fall.

"Hey, do you guys wanna watch some anime, next!?" Scootaloo shouted from the couch. She was holding up a small and shiny cardboard box. It had the image of a bunch of stuff on it, predominately a screaming man with a pompadour and the words 'Space Dandy' on top. 
Buck let go of Adagio and quickly wiped his face. She refused to take her arms from around his waist. Buck looked down at her for a moment, then put a hand on her shoulder and looked deadpan at Scootaloo and Sunburst. 
"Fuck yeah." He said.

And so Saturday Night Cartoons and Vodka became a weekly event at Buck's place. 
Every Saturday, Sunburst and Adagio and Scootaloo came over to Buck's little rat shit apartment, and they would drink and complain about things and watch cartoons, movies, and other assorted media. Every time, Adagio would be introduced to strange and incredible new worlds, and she would listen to Buck ramble about animated storytelling, and Scootaloo make jokes that were as bad as they were loud, and all the while Sunburst somehow managed to keep a coherent conversation going between the four of them. 

Weeks passed like this and Adagio found she was very comfortable with drinking in a room full of platonic affection on a weekly basis. Buck's love came in large volumes, so it was wiser to swim on top of it rather than drink it. It was cozy. Adagio liked cozy. She slowly felt herself picking up on the nomenclature of the group, and even a few inside jokes. Eventually, however, Adagio had the sobering thought that she was getting comfortable with the idea of Buck being her friend. 
This would not do.
> ((Explicit)) Chapter 10 - Sexual Healing (Marvin Gaye)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buck was having a good time hanging out with Adagio. He was also having a very difficult time with himself. Buck really, truly enjoyed having Adagio over. She was funny and strange and extra. Kind of like Buck himself, but she had a cutting wit and a strange willingness to indulge his ramblings and explore other people's interests. After their first few dates, Buck hadn't expected Adagio to be the patient type, but she easily slid into the shared dynamic of Buck's friend group and ingratiated herself with Sunburst and Scoots. Hell, Buck was pretty sure Scoots was in love with Adagio, or at least super horny for her. It was hard not to be. 
Hard. Buck found himself getting hard every time he looked at Adagio. It took little more than a glance, and it didn't help that Adagio seemed to adamantly refuse the very idea of wearing a bra while at his place. She was getting comfortable with him, and that allowed Buck to sort of let his hair down and open up some. And she hadn't rejected him for that. 
On the contrary, she seemed excited to dive into him and share space with him. When was the last time someone he'd dated had treated him this way? It had to be Rara, right? Coloratura was more than a decade ago, though. Ditzy Doo listened to Buck, that was true, but she'd never hit on him or anything like that. Kind of a shame, honestly.  
But Adagio, she was something else. She didn't just indulge him; she was thirsty for his attention. She had been remarkably well behaved as well; he'd expected her to try and get all over him, but she wasn't nearly as horny as she'd come off the first couple of nights, and she instead simply palled around.
And she was so fucking hot. Buck couldn't help but notice. 
Yes, Buck spent private time thinking about how he could grab just one of her ass cheeks with two hands, how her nipples were cute and puffy, and how when she started talking about the fashion of an anime character or the choreography of a musical number, her eyes would light up. She would start talking with her hands, and she would smile this genuine, radiant smile and fuck...fuck he wanted her so badly, but he had said he wanted to take it slow. 
And he had meant it, and this was a good thing, it was! They were getting to know each other, and Buck was getting better at making those Blood Orange Tarts that she liked, and they, like, they hugged a bunch, and she was soft and small and adorable and so, so fucking hot all the time, how can a woman be that fucking attractive and also exist and also also be interested in him? It was unreal. 
Buck couldn't believe that she was real, sometimes, when he was trying to sleep. He could believe even fucking less that this was going well. A part of him was still scared of her. Despite Buck's own protestations, she was still a devious little thing who could read him like a book. She noticed everything, it seemed. 
Buck saw when Adagio noticed him getting hot under the collar. She would slowly look him over, and that evil little grin would sneak onto her face, or she'd look over her shoulder at him and wink, maybe give the slightest shift of her hips. Buck couldn't tell if this was her teasing or if this was just how she was when she got comfortable. He wanted to be optimistic but didn't know which interpretation was more enticing.
Adagio would sit next to Buck with their hips touching or ask him about something with her arms around his neck while he was sitting down. Instead of asking for a remote or controller, she would lean over Buck to reach for it. She would pass him a cold glass of something, and their fingers would touch, and she would just...just look at him, and he would start falling to pieces, and she knew, she had to know. She was the most beautiful woman in the world, and she was becoming Buck's friend, and it was incredible. It was what he needed. 
But it wasn't what Buck wanted. He was obsessed with her. He couldn't be bothered with pornography for a while because Adagio was everything he needed in terms of fantasies. He jerked off to her exclusively, and he felt so fucking guilty about that. They'd had sex already. Why was he going crazy over this? 
It was because he wanted more. He wanted to do everything with her and to her. Buck couldn't admit this to himself. He didn't want to think about a woman this way. She was a living, breathing being, and she deserved to be treated with respect and care, and so he tried his best not to let his fantasies on. He didn't want to complicate this. 
There would maybe be time for the fuck shit later, but right now, he was determined to take things slow. Slow was good.

Saturday Night Cartoons and Vodka had taken a somewhat odd turn just recently. Adagio had gotten tired of hearing Sunburst and Buck talk about One Piece around her, and so they'd had a screening, and now One Piece was the literal only thing Adagio wanted to watch. I mean, this made sense in Buck's head. 
Adagio was a girl for details, and One Piece was a story full of tiny moving pieces and turning gears. Also, it was nautical themed, and Adagio ate that shit up. Buck hadn't pegged her for a pulp adventure lover, and especially not a shonen lover, but something in the show really spoke to her, and she had straight-up jacked his old straw hot jolly roger tank top to wear at these parties, and she had looked too damn cute in it, so that was that. 
That had been a couple of weeks ago. Every night when they were wrapping up, Adagio would look at Sunburst, her ride home, like a little kid getting dragged out of a scholastic bookfair, and she would smile sadly at Buck and then leave with trepidation. 
Last night, she asked Buck if she could just...just stay up and watch some more and sleepover. 
Buck had told her it was fine, just turn the TV down so he could sleep, and he'd set her up on the couch with a blanket and pillow. He didn't think she had the capacity to look so grateful, and it melted his heart when she'd thanked him for that. That was a few hours ago.

Buck awoke in the middle of the night to a distant, quiet sobbing. It was coming from the living room. Oh shit, something had happened. Was she hurt? Had he said something in his sleep to upset her, like really loud? Well, he had to go and check. Buck got up and pulled on his pyjamas and glasses, and he poked his head out into the living room. Adagio was sitting in front of the TV like the little girl from poltergeist. Buck rubbed his eyes.
On the TV, the show had gotten to Enies Lobby; a big turning point both for the story and the party of protagonists. The Straw Hat Pirates, a ragtag crew of misfits and oddballs, were standing in a line across from an intensely powerful group of government assassins who had their crewmate Nico Robin hostage. Nico Robin, a beautiful and intelligent woman who was hated by the world. The Straw Hats were prepared to go to war with the whole world to save her. Adagio sat stock still as Nico Robin wept on screen. Oh fuck. 
Buck remembered that the 'I want to live' speech had destroyed him for a few hours after he saw it back in the day. Buck crept forward a bit, then was caught by a sudden yawn. 
"'dagio? Babe? Y'alright? It's like three in the morning." Buck said groggily. Adagio shuddered and turned her head toward him slowly.
She was a mess of red cheeks and rolling tears and a quivering lip.
Oh fuck me, Buck thought to himself. This poor girl. I let this woman come into my house, and I exposed her to anime, and now I've ruined her.
"Are you okay?" Buck said, reaching out. Adagio quickly covered her face, sniffling and trying to clean herself up with the back of her arm.
"I'm okay." She said. Her tone was firm, but her voice was unsteady. She wouldn't look at him.
"You don't sound okay." Buck said. His hand landed gently on Adagio's shoulder, and she scattered away from him in an instant. He could have sworn for a moment that her eyes glowed red, but then she seemed to relax. Her shoulders dropped. 
"Buck, you mentioned once that you have a sister. Do you ever talk to her?" Adagio said. She sniffled and scooched over to sit next to him, pulling her knees up to her chest. Her eyes were staring off to a place somewhere beyond the TV.
"My sister? Yeah, o'course. Well, I mean, I forget to call a lot. I'm not super good with schedules or...or picking up the phone, but we talk sometimes, yeah. It's been a lil' while. I oughta call her."
"You should. My sisters never call me." Adagio said flatly. 
"I'm sorry to hear that. That's the other Dazzlings, right? I didn't know you were actually, like, related."
"We're...what's the word they say, here?" Adagio said, pointing at the screen. 
"In One Piece? Oh, uh, Nakama. Someone closer than family. Like the Straw Hat Pirates."
"That's us. That's what we were."
"You guys were pirates!?" Buck said. Adagio closed her eyes and gave a bitter chuckle.
"Well, yes, but actually no." Adagio said. Don't laugh, Buck thought to himself. Don't you dare fucking laugh at this woman, Purple Prose; she ain't even seen that movie.
"We were privateers, in this world, after...after everything happened. Mercenaries."
"Oh man...that sounds really cool. How've I not shown you the Pirates Trilogy yet? Fuck." Buck mumbled.
"But we were nakama, too. Inseparable." Adagio said. 
"...what happened?"
"We got into a fight very recently. Recently for us. It might have been years ago now, who's to say? And Aria left...and then Sonata." Adagio said. 
"I'm sorry, Adagio," Buck said. He looked over to her and saw that her hands were clasped over her mouth and her shoulders were hitching. He started to get up to go get some water and a washcloth, thinking she might vomit, but instead, she let out a low, sobbing whine. 
"It was my fault...! I was weak, and everything was wrong and I couldn't fix it, Buck! And they left me, and it was all my fault!" Her sentence wavered and fell apart into ugly crying. She fell into Buck's lap, and she held her face in her hands, and she cried, murmuring that she was sorry. 
"Hey, hey, it's alright..." Buck soothed. Buck stroked her hair, and they just stayed like that for a little while. He could feel Adagio's tears soaking into his lap. 
Eventually, Adagio came back up, a sniffling mess, and Buck was struck by how beautiful she was, even with egg on her face. Adagio blinked and looked at him, confused.
"Do you need some water?" Buck said. Adagio crossed her arms and looked away.
"...yes. I'm still drunk." Adagio said simply.
"Alright, come on." Buck said. He got up to his feet, then offered a hand to Adagio. She looked at his hand like it was a bear trap for a moment, then took it and let Buck haul her to her feet. She was unsteady, but Buck caught her around the waist and guided her to the kitchen. When the light turned on, Adagio hissed and covered her eyes. 
"Sorry, sorry! Hang on..." Buck said. He filled a couple of glasses with ice and water, then shut the lights off again. "Here." He passed a cold glass to Adagio. She hadn't let go of his hand.
Buck tugged Adagio along to his desk, and he turned his lamp on, facing it down.
"Just a little light is okay, yeah?" Buck said. Adagio nodded. Buck stood there, holding her hand and staring out the window. He had remembered that she could smell, or taste--whatever it was- -his emotions, and so he tried to suppress them, tried to be empty and comfortable for her. She was hurting, and he didn't want to tell her that he wanted her, that she was beautiful even when she cried, that he was fantasizing about her, but she needed to feel safe right now, not hounded...and then as he banished those thoughts he turned and saw Adagio was staring at him.
Adagio's eyes were gentle now, and she looked at Buck like a surrealist painting; she was confused and perhaps a little bit amused. She seemed to take a moment to consider things; then, she went back to looking straight ahead, taking a sip of her water. 
Out past the window, the parking lot was still, save for an epic battle over by the streetside between an alley cat and a raccoon. Buck winced as he saw the cat tear a piece of cheese out of the raccoon's mouth. Buck wondered if a raccoon could throw a decent punch. He was not disappointed. Buck felt Adagio's hand squeeze his ever so slightly.

"Buck...what are we doing here?" There was something very sad in her eyes; still, Buck saw.
"Whaddya mean?" Buck said.
"You know what I mean, Buck. It's been weeks-I can tell that you're not actually stupid." Adagio said.
"Hm. You sure about that?"
"It's been weeks, a wonderful run of weeks, mind you, and in that time I have been watching you dance around me, wanting me and pining for me and holding yourself back, when I'm literally sitting right here next to you. You know that I want you too, and you know that I can take what you dish out. Why are you pretending that we're just friends, Buck?" Adagio said.
"See, there's the problem, right there. There ain't no 'Just Friends' Adagio. Friendship is a type of love. Platonic affection is real, and it's deep, and it is love, and there's nothing wrong with lovin' someone that way." Buck said. He tried to pull his hand away. Adagio wouldn't let him. Her grip tightened.
"You're dodging the question," Adagio said simply.
"Friendship is valid, s'what I'm saying. S'not lesser than sexual attraction or traditional romance."
"I know that. I've had friends, Buck. I like your friends." Adagio said. 
"I hope so, because they're you're friends too, now." Buck chuckled. 
"I've been trying very hard, Buck. For you. Did you know that? I've been trying to listen to Sunburst and learn a little."
"...yeah?"
"Yes. Sunburst is a very good communicator. It's not so much that he always knows what to say, exactly, but he knows how to make people feel like they can speak openly around him. It's an excellent skill to have." Adagio said, taking another sip.
"Yeah, it is, isn't it?"
"I'm jealous." 
"Oh?"
"When you talk to him, I can barely keep up. You're a completely different person with him. You're open and honest and...loud. And funny. And affectionate. I caught myself wondering where all of that came from, and where that passionate man goes when you're talking to me."
"I don't mean to-"
"Why are you holding yourself back, Buck? What are you so afraid of that you can't show yourself to me?" Adagio said. She was looking at him now. He didn't look away.
"I could ask you the same question." Buck said. 
"I've already told you what I am, Buck." Adagio said.
"You're not a monster, Adagio." It was then that she looked away. Her brow furrowed.
"...do you think I'm a slut?" She said. Her hand slipped loose of his. "Is that what this is about? Are you ashamed to be around me? Do you think that I think about nothing other than sex, Buck? Are you afraid of that?" She crossed her arms and glared at him.
"What? No! I'm...I'm an open-minded guy! You can do whatever you want." Buck said. 
"Except you. I can do whatever I want except for you. Because you want to take things slow."
"Yes. I do." Buck said. Adagio groaned.
"I'm not...listen, out of the three of us, the Dazzlings, I was always..." The words got stuck in her throat.
"Go on."
"I was never the promiscuous one. I was charming and tantalizing; that's just the role, but unlike Sonata, I didn't have to have sex to get what I wanted. There was no need for it. What was needed from me was control, and care and...peace. I kept the peace, and I ran the numbers and I made sure the whole operation kept moving forward."
"That sounds like a lot of pressure."
"Yes! Yes it was, and I wasn't a sex fiend, like Sonata, I was strong and sturdy and-"
"Reserved?"
"Subtle. I was never a thirsty little sheep, drooling over handsome men and sitting around waiting for them to take me. This isn't what I'm like. It's not just because it's been a while. It's you."
"Listen, I'm not trying to--wait, you think I'm handsome?"
"And here I am, standing in your apartment with my nipples showing, and you're standing there pretending like what we have is platonic!" Adagio's hand had curled into a fist. She placed her drink down on Buck's desk and clasped her hands together. She closed her eyes. "You act like I'm going to melt away like sugar in the rain if you touch me. And you're the one who did this to me, Buck!"
"What?"
"I wasn't like this before! I wasn't...you came into my life, and you-you made me crave you and then you just turn around and start bottling it up like you're ashamed of me!" Adagio pointed a finger at Buck and poked at his chest. Then, she took a breath and pulled her hand. She turned away from him.
"Adagio, I'm sorry, that's not what this is. I'm just afraid that-"
"Of what, Buck!?" Adagio rounded on him again. Her eyes were glowing red, and Buck could see now that she was properly furious with him. He felt his frustration push him forward. Adagio was trying to hide how mad she really was. She looked away, trying to appear aloof.
"I'm afraid that if we just have sex, you're going to get bored and throw me away! You're going to see-no, look at me, Adagio-you're going to see that I'm this...this fucking anxiety-ridden nymphomaniac, and you're going to get tired of me, and you're just going to throw me in the trash like She did! You say you want me, and you say you can take me but you don't know that!" Buck shouted. 
There was silence. 
Buck walked over to the couch, and he plopped down, and he put his drink aside and his face in his hands. He felt a hot tear roll down his cheek. 
You're crying again, you idiot. She's trying to talk to you, and you're crying. Again. 
"If it's just sex, if that's all we are, then I'll have to admit that it's all I'm good for." 
He felt the couch shift as Adagio sat down next to him. She's going to tell you to calm down. That is isn't that serious. That you're overreacting. Buck cringed as he felt Adagio place a tender hand on his back. 
"Who was she?" Adagio said.
"I don't want to talk about that...I'm sorry," Buck said.
"I understand." Adagio said. "Buck? I understand. Look at me, Buck. Don't hide." Adagio pulled Buck's hands away and lifted his chin. She smiled and stared into him. "I know what you're going through." She said.
"You do?"
"You...Buck, are a passionate man. You very obviously love deeply and furiously, and you've been punished for it. You don't want to let that happen again, so instead of being yourself, you live in this world of cardboard, and you feel like if you cut loose, everything will fall to pieces. You shrink yourself down into a convenient shape so people will accept you, but what you don't understand, Buck, is that it never ends. You'll just keep shrinking and hiding until that's all you know how to do. Do you know what they call something tiny and precious that holds things together and makes them work?"
"...a cog in the machine." Buck sighed.
"Yes! And that's not we are, Buck! You're a marvel, and I am sick and tired of seeing you hide from that. I'm tired of seeing you hide from me. I want you to just be here, in these moments without having to stop and fret and wonder if it's right." Adagio said. More tears. Buck's vision swam and went blurry. 
"...I don't deserve you." Buck murmured.
*SLAP*  
Buck's glasses hit the carpet. His cheek stung. He looked at Adagio in shock and saw that she was shaking furiously. Now her tears were back, too.
"Don't you say that. Don't you dare say that to me, Buck...! Don't you DARE act like this is a mistake!" She growled. Buck touched his cheek and winced. 
"...I'm sorry, I-"
"STOP APOLOGIZING TO ME!" Adagio shrieked. Buck was silent, then. He wouldn't meet her eye.
"Oh no no no, Buck, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that." Adagio simpered, coming close and touching his cheek. 
"Please don't hit me." Buck said, quietly.
"I know, I know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." Adagio said.  
"I know." Buck said. "I can't do this with you. You say you want me to open up, but if I do, you'll take advantage of me. You can't say you want me to be vulnerable just so you can punish me for it."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lash out, and before, I didn't mean to...do what I did."
"You can't just say you're sorry! You have to be better! If you mean what you say, if you want us to be...to be anything, you have to be better! Otherwise, how am I supposed to trust you?"
Silence. Adagio stared at her own hands as if she were looking over the edge of a cliff. She shuddered and bit her lip. She took a deep breath.
"Can we start again? Please?" Adagio said.
"Mhm." Buck said. Adagio sat up and wiped her eyes. It didn't help. "Go on. You were saying that you're mad at me. For hiding."
"I'm not mad at you, Buck. I'm mad for you, because I can see how frustrated you are. You are so scared of letting yourself be yourself, I still feel like I don't know the first thing about you."
"I'm a lot to handle. You got love drunk just from me hugging and kissing on you." 
"I have been feeling you ache for me from across the room for weeks, Buck. I can acclimate." 
"I'm over emotional, and I'm horny all the time."
"And those are two things that I like about you. You know I'm horny too, Buck."
"I over-explain things. And, and I walk too fast."
"Buck."
"And I screw up dates and times, and I forget things."
"Buck! Stop. Look at me." Adagio took his face in her hands.
"I'm lookin'. I'm lookin'." Buck said. Adagio's eyes weren't smoldering. Instead, he saw determination there.
"Buck. Tell me you want me. If you want me, then you shall have me. Do you want me, Buck?" She said, slowly. Buck's hand rose to touch Adagio's on his cheek.
"...yes. More than I've ever wanted a woman." Buck said, simply.
"That's better." Adagio smirked. "What do you want to do with me, Buck~?" She purred.
"I...I want to take you to the Aquarium." Buck said, smiling.
"What?" Adagio said. Buck chuckled and took her hands in his and rubbed the backs of them with his thumbs.
"I want to take you to the aquarium. And, I want to go hiking with you, and I want to go to the museum and look at antiques with you, and I want to sing with you and I want you to tell me about your life and I want to just sit here and hold you. I want you to come to Game Night with me. I want you to sample my weird desserts and I want to watch you walk by from the window of Sugar Cube Corner." Buck rambled, excitedly. He saw Adagio's flirty grin turn into one of bemusement and maybe a little bit of confusion.
"And I want to listen to you laugh! Your laugh is so loud and sweet and...kind of evil! I want you to stand in front of me while I make you breakfast again and I want to tell you bad jokes and I want to see you in the other outfits in your closet!" Buck said. He leaned forward. Adagio shrunk away, just a little bit. Amusement was losing the tug-o'-war with confusion.
"And that! I want to watch gears turning in your head! I want to listen to your heart beat."
"Okay...?" Adagio said. She was blushing, now, it was all over her face and down her neck. She didn't pull her hands away. She wasn't running from him.
"And...I want to watch you strut around my apartment in your panties. I want to pin you down and kiss your stomach. I want to sneak up behind you and slide my hands under your shirt. Fuck...I want to catch you around the waist and hold you and press my crotch against your ass. I wanna do fucking EVERYTHING to that ass. I want to kiss your neck and I want to leave a hicky there. I want people to fucking know." He saw Adagio bite her lip. 
"Oh? And what else, Buck? What else do you want to do to me?" She said. She scooched closer to him. Buck saw the embers in her eyes.
"I want...I want to spend hours with you pressed up against me while I grope your ass. I want to wake up with my cock in your mouth. I want to look at porn with you and watch you getting hot and bothered. I want to cum in your mouth and your pussy and up your ass. I want to trade fetishes with you, and explore this...whatever this is. With you. I want to fuck you in the shower." Buck growled. He reached down, and Adagio gasped as he grabbed her thigh and squeezed. She leaned in close, sighed in his ear.
"Yes...and what else do you want, Buck?" She said. Her hand landed delicately on his chest. It began to make a slow and torturous descent downward, her nails dragging. It made Buck shudder. He grabbed her wrist. Gently.
"I want to take you to my bed, right now, and treat you right. I don't mean the berserk shit from our first night."
"Ohhh~?"
"I want to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Like a Princess. ...I want to make love to you, Adagio Dazzle." Buck said.

All time in Adagio's world stopped. A princess. He'd called her a princess. A princess was a monarch with magical powers beyond anything else in Equestria. A princess was power incarnate, and beauty and grace. A princess was pampered and adored and beloved. A princess wanted for nothing. Buck had said he wanted to treat Adagio like a princess. Had he been holding back, even when they were having sex? That couldn't be possible. Adagio's cheeks were burning.
"Call me that again." Adagio whispered. Buck's hand squeezed her thigh. He smiled.
"What, your name?" He said. Adagio rolled her eyes.
"No, Buck. The other thing." Adagio leaned back, held her hand up to her ear like she was deaf. "You want to treat me like...?" She started.	
"A princess." Buck finished. He spoke it in a growl so deep and rolling that it almost sounded like a croak. Adagio was surrounded by his adoration, but it was just a small pocket of cool air in a firestorm of lust that she was floating in. 
"Mmnn...I think...I like that, Buck." Adagio said. She stifled a giggle. A distant and hollow part of her mind spoke up. She had been getting acclimated to Buck's love from across the room, but she could already feel an uncontrollable affection bubbling up in her. He was poison for her, truly he was. And he called her a princess. It suited her. Perhaps he had the makings of a good minion after all. This was the play. Build him up. 
"And what kind of treatment exactly will your princess get, Buck...?" Adagio said. Buck drew closer and started kissing her neck. His hand slowly slid up her thigh.
"Mmm...let's see." He punctuated his words with little nibbles, trailing down. "I think I'll pick you up in my arms and lay you down on the bed...put on some good love makin' music...then show ya exactly what this tongue can do." Buck said. He stroked Adagio's inner thigh. She quivered as he nipped at her collarbone. 
"And...then...?" Adagio moaned. Oh, so this was his wheelhouse.  Adagio's thoughts were slowly sinking below the surface of her mind as Buck showered her with affection.
"Then, after you came, I would tell you to lay back and let me do the work...I'd tease ya and play with ya while you were still nice and hot and sensitive..." Buck growled against her neck. His fingers had found her lower lips. They were trailing and tracing with featherlight touches against her crotch. 
"And...?" Adagio panted. What if she just...let him take control?
"And then I would give you just the tip. Sweet lil' cock kisses right at the entrance..." Buck said. His middle finger slid down and prodded lightly at Adagio's entrance through her panties. Buck's kisses at her clavicle were tender and slow.
"Mnngh...and then what, Buck?" Adagio said. Just for one night, let the man have his way. What harm could that do?
Buck nibbled and suckled gently on the base of Adagio's neck. His prodding and tickling fingers squeezed Adagio's labia up around her clitoris. She shuddered and ran a hand through his hair. A tiny voice rose in her head and spoke up. She had been right about him. He was a devil. Who exactly was corrupting whom, here?
Buck's lips pulled away from Adagio's neck with a little pop, and his tongue gently touched the sensitive spot that was leftover. He had marked her. Buck's golden, burning eyes came to meet Adagio's again. She felt his thumb press at her clitoris through her now-soaked panties. His smile was one that Adagio had seen in the mirror before. 
It was trouble. Adagio drew closer, so close that their lips were almost touching. 
"...what else, Buck~? What else do you want to do to me?" Adagio said.
"And then I'd, I'd..." Buck threw his head back and yawned. 
It went on for a long time. When he finally finished emptying his lungs, Buck blinked slowly and looked at Adagio again. "I think what I want to do right now, is go to bed." 

Adagio couldn't quite describe her emotions in that moment. Her best approximation was something like several windows breaking at once. The thoughts she'd had that were burning down in Buck's lust, the thoughts that had soaked her panties and quickened her breath, those thoughts were coming back up to the surface, and they all said the same thing.
"How dare you." Adagio said, breathless. Buck scratched his neck and stood up. Adagio heard something in his hip pop.
"Well, I'm emotionally exhausted and it's like 4am now. I've got an early start tomorrow, so I oughta get some decent shut eye. I'll be up around 10am, I think. Maybe 9." He rolled his neck slowly.
Adagio was seething. He truly was a devil. She saw Buck look askance at her and freeze for a moment.
"Oh. Oh, no, listen, I'm not going to leave you hanging. C'mon." Buck said. He effortlessly pulled Adagio to her feet. 
"What? What are you doing?" 
"You're sleeping with me tonight. That's what you wanted, yeah?" Buck said. He was already pulling her toward his bedroom. "Look, I'm real sorry, but I do actually need to sleep. But we can still fool around if you like." 	
"Oh, you're going to owe me for this one, Mr. Purple Prose. A gentleman doesn't leave a lady in a state like this." Adagio hissed. She planted her feet on the carpet and squeezed his hand. When he turned again, he saw her glaring. He grinned.
"Do you see any gentlemen here?" And then the world twisted a bit as Buck slung Adagio over his shoulder. "I said we could still fool around, and I meant it. I'm just as wound up as you." He chuckled. 
"Wha!? You...!  Put me down, you beast! Just what are you going to do!?" Adagio demanded. Buck closed the door with one hand. Adagio was hanging over his back like a sack of potatoes, dangling helplessly. She yelped as Buck slapped her ass, and then again as he tossed her onto the bed. As she rolled over onto her back to glare at Buck with proper indignity, she saw that he had already taken his pyjama pants off. He was standing at attention and giving her an evil smile.

"Quickie?" He asked. 
Adagio couldn't get her own pj's off fast enough. Literally. She frantically wiggled her hips, trying to move the waistband, but Buck roughly hauled it and her panties down her thighs and hiked Adagio's legs up. 
"Is that a 'Yes'?" Buck asked with what seemed like practiced glibness. Adagio was at a loss for words. It had been weeks. She had forgotten how Buck behaved when he was in control.
"Please." She squeaked. Her bottoms were left to dangle off one leg as Buck pulled Adagio to the edge of the bed. Her calves were on either side of his head. He kissed her right calf tenderly, then slid his hands up and down, fondling her thighs. He let her right leg go, dropping it to his side as he planted his knees on the bed. Adagio felt his cock flop onto her wet crotch. She looked down from Buck's molten gold eyes and saw him lightly slap his cock against her. 	"You've...mnngh...you've been staring at me across the living room for weeks...are you going to make up for it all at once...?" Adagio said. Buck was gently rolling his hips, pressing his tip against her clitoris with one thumb while he grinded against it. He felt so hot, Adagio worried silently that she would catch flame like a vampire exposed to sunlight when he penetrated her. Wait, he was saying something. 
"Hmm...no...that would take hours, and I really am tired..." Buck said, from somewhere far away. Adagio's nerves tingled as Buck's dark purple cock head peeked out from his foreskin and rubbed against her clitoris. She stifled her moans as Buck coaxed and teased her. Wait.
"...hours!?" She gasped. She looked back up at his face and saw no sign of a japery or bravado. He had simply said it as a fact. Buck frowned and his eyes drifted away for a moment.
"...no, you're right. Days." He said, finally. Then he adjusted himself and pushed inside her. It was slow and torturous, but he hilted himself gradually in her hot, aching cunt, and Adagio felt him fill her once again. 
Finally. She felt and heard Buck's breath hitch in his throat. 
"Fuck, you're burning up in here..." He mumbled. His hand squeezed her thigh.
"You...you kept me...waiting...!" Adagio panted. Buck was rotating his hips, making tiny micro-adjustments that sent sparks up Adagio's spine. He pulled his cock back slowly, dragging a pathetic whine out of Adagio before she could catch it. Her hand reached out reflexively to clutch at his hip like her whole body was afraid of being hollow.
"Aw. You missed me..." Buck growled. There it was again, that low, alligator roll in his voice. Adagio shivered. Buck stroked her arm with his free hand, then gently took her wrist and held on to it. His hips fell back, sliding his dick halfway out. Adagio suppressed another whine. 
"Now, here's the tricky part. We haven't done this position yet, so I gotta find just the right spot...is it here?" Buck said as he brought his hips roughly forward, shoving his cock into Adagio. She let out a yelp. 
"No? Okay...how about here...?" He growled. He adjusted his aim and pressed his hard cock in at a lower angle. Adagio squeezed his wrist and gasped. 
"No, that's not it either...hang on..." Buck leaned his upper body back a bit. He slid the hand on Adagio's leg up under her knee and pushed it forward toward her chest. 
"Is it here?" Buck slammed his cock in at an upward angle. He ground against Adagio's g-spot and rolled his hips back and forth with a viciously slow pace. Adagio moaned loudly at his ministrations, but the sound was cut off by Buck's thumb in her mouth. 
"Mmph!?" Adagio squealed around Buck's thumb. He didn't stop his thrusting or even slow his pace. He punctuated a series of long, slow strokes with singular ramming thrusts.
"Shhh...my neighbor is sleeping just past that wall." He said, nodding at the wall behind the bed. He slammed his cock forward again, forcing another muffled yelp out of Adagio. "Can you try and keep the volume down, Princess...?" The word again. Adagio moaned and smiled around his thumb, rolling her tongue against it. She nodded. He slammed into her again.
"Good. Now hold on..." Buck said. Adagio steadied her hand back on Buck's hip as he slid his thumb out of her mouth. Now properly lubricated, Buck reached down and started lightly stroking Adagio's clitoris as he pounded her.
He established a deliberate rhythm, each thrust bringing his hips smacking into Adagio's while he tenderly teased her clit. The difference in the pounding at her root and the caressing at its top made Adagio shudder and groan as her whole body rocked. She clasped her hands over her mouth as Buck worked her over. He was playing her like an instrument. How long had he been practicing this!? 
Buck would occasionally gasp or let out a small moan, but he seemed completely unmoved by the desperate squeezing and wringing that Adagio was giving him down below. He just kept slamming his cock into her wet hole, neither slowing down nor letting up on his consistent rhythm. This was a practiced and deliberate assault.
"Mm...mm...mm...there, now, is that good, Princess?" Buck said. Adagio nodded frantically, groaning from behind her hands. "I'd love to treat you like this for a while longer...but it's late...so I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to tie this up..." Buck said. What did he mean by that? Adagio was already getting close, and it had only been a few minutes, ten at most. He wasn't even slowing down. On the contrary; as soon as Buck finished his sentence, he batted Adagio's hand on his hip aside, lifted her other leg, and started rapidly pounding upward into Adagio's g-spot. Adagio's hands fell away and she bit her lip to hold back her frantic cries. 
In Adagio's throes of ecstasy, she distantly detected that this pace too was consistent. No ragged, wild thrusts like the first night, but a fast and vicious pistoning into her snatch. Buck's hips slapped loudly against the bottoms of Adagio's thighs. He was taking measured breaths, like a long-distance runner. Adagio saw his eyes closed in concentration. She, on the other hand, couldn't concentrate on anything other than the fireworks going off in her head. Her hands wandered and caught in her hair as she focused all of her mental processes on not screaming Buck's name. Buck let go of her legs, let them squeeze at the sides of his face. He reached down and pinned Adagio's wrists to the bed and started thrusting even harder. Adagio let loose a few small, murmuring whines in time with Buck's cock slamming into her. "Mnn....nnghh...MMM!" 
"Yeah? ...tell me some more, Princess..." Buck grunted. He didn't slow down. Every single slap of their hips pushed Adagio closer to the edge.
"So close, Buck...! So...clooooose!" Adagio gasped. She heard Buck's low chuckle. He let go of one of her hands and rolled his thumb over her clit again, then pressed down on it. Adagio's entire body shook.
"Is that right...? Just close...? What's the matter? Are you waiting for permission?" Buck said. The pounding stopped. Adagio blinked in a lust-addled daze, feeling Buck's hot, hard cock shift positions inside her. Buck spread her legs open and laid forward in the space between them. He pushed Adagio's body backward, deeper into the bed, and suddenly the tips of their noses were touching. His thumb was still slowly stroking her clitoris.
"Hm...?" Adagio looked at Buck, her eyes searching his face. Why had he stopped? Buck's hips hitched forward and buried his cock completely inside her. It just barely, tenderly touched her cervix.
Adagio gasped as Buck's hand reached up and pulled at a fistful of her hair, right at the roots in her scalp. "Ahhgnn..." She let out a shuddering moan. She didn't know she liked having her hair pulled. 
"You need me to tell you, Princess, is that it? Command you?" Buck said. His lips were next to Adagio's ear, now. Adagio's legs wrapped around Buck's waist. Her hands slid up his back and her nails dug into him as he slowly rolled his hips. He was teasing her again. Adagio's moaned were now muffled by Buck's collarbone. She kissed along it, slowly, sweetly. She desperately bucked her hips up against him. 
"Pleasepleasepleaseplease...let me cum...Buck." It was hardly even a whisper.
"Cum, Princess." Buck bit down on the hickey he'd left before and his hips became a blur as he savaged Adagio. She squealed against his shoulder as he broke her down, his hand between their pelvises, rubbing her clitoris furiously as his cock pounded her with short strokes. A clever and miserable part of her mind screamed that this was all wrong, it can't be like this, she can't be feeling this. That voice drowned in a sea of fire. Buck's never-ending lust flooded into Adagio and replaced every cogent thought. All Adagio could do was hang on to him while her feet flopped helplessly in the air. It took no time at all. Adagio came, screaming against him with her thighs squeezing him, her pussy desperately trying to wring him out as her whole body shook. Adagio's head went blank and fuzzy as she came harder than she had in weeks. 

And then he was off her, laying at her side and gently running a hand through her hair. As Adagio returned to the world, she was immediately hit by the waves of Buck's love that were cradling her. Every edge of her body tingled and she knew she was a hot, wet mess between her thighs. The world she re-entered was a blissful one, with Buck's warm, wandering hands and soft blankets and the light, tingling afterglow.
Wait. 
Adagio looked away from Buck's loving gaze and carefully touched her inner folds. She raised her fingers to her eyes and squinted. She frowned.
"Did...did you not cum, Buck?" Adagio said, her eyes narrowing. Buck was currently preoccupied planting tender little kisses on Adagio's forehead.
"Mm...you are so fucking pretty like this..." Buck mumbled. His hand slid down and lightly squeezed Adagio's ass. He turned his head away and yawned.
"Buck? Buck. Look at me, Buck." Adagio said. She grabbed Buck by the chin with her thumb and index finger and pulled his face toward hers. 
"Buck." Buck kissed her lightly on the lips. Adagio felt the intoxicating affection surge into her brain. "Buck! Answer me. Did you cum just now?"
"Hm? No, why?" Buck said, groggily. He went in for another kiss. Unbelievable. Adagio put a finger to his lips. 
"No." She said simply.
"...no kissies...?" Buck whimpered. Adagio groaned and pawed at his chest and kissed him tenderly.
"Mmmm...but no. I don't accept this." Adagio said, pulling away. Buck scratched the side of his neck.
"Whatchu mean?" Buck asked. He yawned again.
"I refuse to accept that you didn't get to cum when you just ruined me with a 'quickie'. Get your cock out, Buck." Adagio commanded. 
"Babe, I-do you like it when I call you babe? Is that okay?" Buck asked. Adagio crossed her arms and pouted.
"I do. It's adorable and it makes me feel admired and precious." She grumbled.
"Okay, good." Buck said, blinking slowly. "Babe, it's okay not to cum during sex, sometimes. It's not a competition..." He said. Adagio sneered at him. "I was trying to do you a solid back there, it wasn't about me, okay? S'not a race or...anything...ahh..." Buck trailed off. Adagio smirked as her fingertips deftly caressed his cock, which was already hardening again.
"Hush." Adagio said.
"Babe, you don't have to-"
"But I will. Call it a point of pride. I'm not going to let you keep upstaging me like this." Adagio said. 
"'dagio, I just said-fffff...mm...!" Buck's protests met an untimely end at the tips of Adagio's fingers. They slid over Buck's cock head, back and forth as Adagio's other palm daintily cupped his balls.  
"Let me pamper you, Buck. Let me give you a reward for how sweet you've been..." Adagio said. She shuffled down until she was eye level with Buck's instrument. It pulsed and menaced her with its girth. A challenge. 
Adagio peeled back Buck's foreskin with one hand, gently fondling his balls with the other. This horrible battering ram of a cock had tried to conquer her again tonight. If Adagio's skills in the bedroom were deft and succinct like a foil, this tool was more akin to a craftsman's hammer. Buck's style seemed to be methodical and practiced, but strong and burly. This fat, slightly curved bitch breaker of his was the perfect tool for that. She gave his frenulum a sweet and longing kiss, and a tender lashing of the tongue. She had missed this stubby invader. Buck hummed softly. 
Adagio squeezed Buck's balls as she formed her strategy. Last time, she had tried to strangle Buck's cock with her throat. This was a tried and true plan of attack that had never failed. That was until she tried it on Buck. It seemed that force wasn't the way to break him. A more subtle approach was necessary. 
Adagio mimicked the tiny little pecks that Buck had given her on their second date. She planted affectionate kisses down his shaft then started licking small circles right at the base. She stroked his tip slowly with a gentle grip. She felt Buck's cock tensing in her hand. He was still wet with her essence. Adagio took a small sense of pride in that. After weeks of waiting, her scent was finally on him again. Buck groaned softly as she tended to him. His voice sounded breathy and delicate. Almost shaky.
"Mm? Are you...are you serious?" Adagio mumbled, around Buck's sack. She stopped kissing and suckling for a moment and began rapidly, roughly sliding her hand up and down Buck's shaft. She watched his expression. Buck bit his lip and grunted, but his cock stopped tensing. 
"...really now, Buck? Is that all? That's what you like down here?" Adagio murmured. She slowed her pumping and dragged her tongue back up to Buck's cock head and then licked it slowly, dipping down a bit to lick the back of the head. She lightly caressed Buck's balls as she did so. Buck shivered and gave a closed-mouth whine. Buck nodded frantically.
"Gentle edging gives me a hair trigger, alright?" Buck admitted. Adagio giggled softly with her lips wrapped around Buck's cock. Excellent. 
Buck moaned softly as Adagio suckled tenderly on his cock head. She loved his taste. Like spicy, salty chocolate. His burning lust rolled along her tongue with his precum and Adagio slurped at it slowly and hungrily. So Buck's true weakness was being treated tenderly? An extreme gap in the Bard's defenses that she would be certain to exploit. Adagio could feel herself growing wet again. 
"I'm close, Adagio...! Sss...nnnggh...!" Buck groaned. Adagio popped his cock out of her mouth and began stroking him quickly and gently. Her other hand traced her index finger right at the very tip of his cock head, swirling it around in slow, feathery circles. She felt Buck trembling and watched him gasp and grunt. Buck began to lightly pump his hips along to Adagio's stroking rhythm. 
"Ooooh, look at you...!" Adagio said. "Are you going to cum, Buck?" She purred. Buck nodded his head frantically. "Mmm...Buck, look at me." Adagio said.
Buck looked down to get caught in Adagio's devilish stare. She opened her mouth and let her tongue loll out, then she jerked Buck off swiftly while the underside of his cock was rubbed against her tongue. "Mnnnaaahhh..." Adagio sighed. 
Buck came instantly, and he came all over Adagio's face and in her mouth. It was not a shout or a grunt but a delicate gasp as his body shuddered. Buck covered his mouth as his cock shot thick ropey strands onto Adagio. She closed her lips around his head and suckled gently, milking Buck of every last drop. Adagio juggled her fingers around his balls and savored every pump that she felt coming from them. "Mmmmm...." Adagio swallowed. 

Adagio slid back up next to Buck, stroking his thigh. There. Now both of them had won a round and there was no need for competition, she thought. She smirked with earned pride and accomplishment as Buck's jizz dribbled down her chin.
Buck, a panting mess, reached over and produced a tissue from a box next to his bed. Adagio imagined that box was always full.  She graciously wiped her face, then tossed the tissue back to Buck who winced at it and dropped it in the wastebasket. He was still catching his breath. 
Adagio laid her head in that perfect spot under his shoulder and lightly pet Buck's stomach and chest. She slid a leg up and cuddled up against him. "That was incredible." Buck said with a lazy, astonished drawl. He yawned loudly and stared at the ceiling. Adagio hummed and traced her finger through his chest hair. 
"Mhm. Now, isn't it nice to just cut loose, Buck? Don't you feel better?" She said.
"Pretty sure I'm gon' sleep real well." Buck murmured. His hand was squeezing Adagio's shoulder. He pulled the blankets over them. 
"What are you doing tomorrow, Buck?" Adagio asked.
"Well I was gonna-" Buck began, but his sentence turned into a laborious, muttering yawn then trailed away into the ether. 
"Go to sleep, Buck." Adagio said. She closed her eyes. 
He could be conquered, she simply had to treat him a certain way in bed, and she could make him fall to pieces. He was a talent to be sure, and Adagio decided that if his performance on a "quickie" was like that, she was going to have ample fun with him. She felt a lingering sense of light shame for that thought. He was changing her. Adagio's smile turned into a tight, pressed frown. 
But no, Adagio Dazzle was no one's whore. Adagio Dazzle did what and whom she pleased. Buck was not going to break her, she was here to break Buck, and so she decided then that if she truly wanted to keep him as a minion, she would have to attack him on his terms, make him see the person that Adagio saw him as. A sublime but moldable man that could keep her fed through his pitifully short life. Buck truly was precisely what she needed.
Adagio quickly formed a diabolical plan for tomorrow morning that would ingratiate herself to Buck. Now that they were on intimate terms again, it was time to leverage that privilege. 
Sunday would belong to Adagio, and with that thought in her head, she drifted off to a night of blissful sleep.
> Chapter 11 - Let's Face It I'm Cute (11 Acorn Lane)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Adagio wailed in terror and agony as she was dragged up by the blazing harpoon that had snared her. The dark, safe coldness of Home was falling away beneath her fins. She screamed as she saw the sun shimmering on the surface of the water. When she emerged, she was in a human form.  
Where was this? An island. Somewhere remote where no one could hear her scream. 
Ahead and above was a volcano, and it rumbled a warning before a series of dark and ashy tendrils of stone or perhaps clay ensnared her limbs. They began to lash and slide over her sensitive areas, her nipples rolled and stroked while her clitoris was lightly tickled. The tendrils flipped her and slapped her ass until it was red and tender. Adagio begged for help, but the tentacles penetrated her mouth. Her muffled screams hitched and melted into moans as squirming tendrils invaded her vagina, coiling, wriggling, and rubbing against every fold and bump inside her. Adagio was flipped over onto her back, suspended in the air over the ocean before the volcano. The grey skies darkened and sparked with lightning as a massive demonic figure rose from the mouth of the caldera, lava pooling around its knees. It had rippling muscles, goat horns on its head, and a pair of massive wings. The tentacles were coming from where a tail would be. The tendrils in Adagio's mouth opened to let her speak, just so she could cry out a desperate plea to stop. 
The demon smiled at her. Laughed, not maliciously, but sweetly. Its eyes blazed like a forest fire, as did its massive, red hot cock. 
Adagio felt a blazing of her own deep inside her stomach, and a horrible thought squirmed into her skull. 
She wanted this. 
Adagio's ass was pointed at the monstrous shaft that was the size of her whole body. The searing, burning cock tore into her. Adagio's vision whited out with both pain and pleasure as she screamed her soul out.
She awoke. 





The morning sun; Adagio's eternal nemesis poked her in the eyes until she turned away from it, grumbling. She thought perhaps if she simply ignored it, the new day would go bother someone else. This, of course, proved to be wishful thinking, as the sounds from the copse of trees behind Buck's apartment complex made it impossible for Adagio to grab on to the dozing peace she had been torn from. Outside, birds screamed in horrible joy at the hateful glaring orb in the sky while squirrels, raccoons and other awful things carried on a nonsense cacophony. Nature's conversation was a loud, arrogant mouth salad up on the surface, and this was the main reason why Adagio lived in a soundproofed suite high above the city. This was also why she tended to be grumpy in the morning; she'd rather wake up hungover in a bathtub then let the sweet voice of morning shake her like a disobedient infant. Why did this world have to be so damned rude?
Adagio stretched and let loose a yawn that escalated into a sort of quiet, frustrated scream. She was coated in a cold sweat. She'd had a nightmare, definitely, but her indignity at being awoken by the sun was pushing that horror out of her head. The dream tumbled down a crack in the back of her mind, and it was gone.
Adagio blew a strand of curly orange hair from her face. She sat up, felt a slick squish between her thighs, and realized that she'd woken up wet. She tossed the blanket off to check. She was hot and achey; grumpy, wanting and frustrated.
Where was Buck? Last night she'd finally had her way with him after watching him tiptoe around her for weeks, and now, instead of being there to care for her in her time of need, he was...somewhere. Somewhere besides where he should be, which was between Adagio's thighs. This was his apartment. Where in the world had he gone? 
Adagio got out of bed scratching her stomach and waddled over to the window. The light streaming in from behind the venetian blinds hurt her eyes. She reached and found that the window had been opened to let a cool night breeze in, but now the stale stuffiness of the Canterlot spring morning was creeping in instead. Adagio grunted with disgust and closed it. 
Over in Buck's tiny closet of a bathroom, Adagio was glad for his hair texture. He had a variety of hair care products crowding the bathroom sink that she could use to detangle and tame her magnificent orange mane. Adagio realized to her horror that because Buck's bedspread was neither silk nor magical, her hair was clumping up in horrid nappy tangles. She sighed. The things she did for this man. As Adagio combed and pulled and coifed, she heard the sound of footsteps in the kitchen area. 

My, but the walls were thin in this place! There was a faucet running, then a clanking of pots and pans, and finally the sound of something sizzling over the stove. So there he was. He was cooking for her, just as he had the morning after their first date. Perhaps she wasn't angry at his absence in bed, after all. There was always the couch after breakfast.
The bathroom faucet ran with a cooling stream, and as Adagio washed her face, she went over her battle plan. 
Buck had done quite a bit of work for her, in retrospect. He had allowed her into his home, miraculously, and given her a forum with which to infiltrate his friend group. He had shown his interests to Adagio, and put her in front of a horribly addictive pirate show that he was passionate about, so now they had something to talk over. 
There was a swinge of pain behind Adagio's eyes. She was still a bit hungover. She swore to herself that she would go light on the alcohol next Saturday, for her own sake. It was so easy to get caught up in the festivities when you were with good company. 
The drink had sunken into her, and she had lost control in the middle of the night, watching that obnoxiously poignant show, but this had worked in her favor. There were no mistakes here; Adagio was simply a method actor. Buck was the caring type. This meant that Adagio's vulnerability could be a weapon to use on him. A powerful one. 
Last night had been a victory. Buck had let her sleep against him, and before then, they had...well. Adagio knew that she couldn't get cocky. She was still on thin ice after what she pulled previously, even if Buck played it off. He had grown a bit wary, and getting him to open up, in turn, would be difficult. Therefore, today called for a tactical approach. Adagio would help Buck to clean the mess leftover from the night's events, and Buck, seeing her dedication and kindness would take her into his arms and thank her, and practically beg her for a third date and potentially some of that cunnilingus from the morning after their first night. Adagio felt her stomach flutter at the thought. She adjusted her flowing locks and saw the hickey that Buck had left on her.
That hickey made her feel truly powerful. Perhaps it was simply the result of laying in Buck's arms once again or even just the love and lust he had bathed her in before that. Like her dream, Adagio could already feel Buck's saccharine affection bleeding out of her. She would need him again, and soon.

"No. You can't get too attached. Remember what you are." Adagio said to her own red-cheeked visage in the bathroom mirror. She needed to stay focused on the task at hand. "This is simply a long game with a worthwhile prize at the end."  She wanted Buck for power, pure and simple. Everything else he had to offer was just icing on the cake. She winced as another small wave of dehydrated pain pressed against her temples.
She wondered; if she moaned to Buck about a headache, would he give her another one of those orgasmic massages? It had been ages. Adagio rolled her neck and felt something pop. 
Relationships were always the same. There was the lover and the loved. The used and the user. The winner and the loser. Adagio was going to win this game. Buck just didn't know that he was the prize. 
She put a leg up on the bathroom counter, got up on her tiptoes, and looked over her form. 
She was gorgeous, to no one's shock but everyone's appreciation. Had she put on the slightest bit of weight? Adagio couldn't tell. She ran her hand over her stomach. It didn't feel much different at all. No. Must have been her imagination. 	She noticed distantly that there was a little plastic box sitting on the back of the toilet marked 'makeup'. Hm. Hell. She had forgotten to bring makeup, but then she hadn't intended on sleeping over. She supposed it didn't matter. Buck didn't seem to care if she had makeup on or not. 
Adagio heard the clack of a cabinet closing in the kitchen. It was time to make her entrance. 
She didn't want to miss breakfast, after all.

Adagio heard a cheery drumroll and a light, bouncy trumpet solo introduce a jazzy tune as she rounded the corner to the kitchen. She was armed as before with Buck's straw hat jolly roger tank top, a pair of frilly panties, and no bra. The smell of cooking ham tantalized her nose while a jaunty cello riff filled the apartment. Ooh! She might be able to coax a dance out of him, that would be effective. Buck liked to dance, didn't he? Perhaps he just liked to dance with her. Adagio took a breath and shook her arms out and put on a perky smile. She took the kitchen stage. 
"Good morning, Buck."




Buck was having a fantastic morning, which was pretty rare. Adagio had opened up on him in such a sweet way last night. Now the both of them could say they had cried in front of each other. That bond sounded good to Buck. He felt he could actually be vulnerable with her, a little bit. That was a change, wasn't it?  
He had things to do. Buck had left a sticky note on Adagio which explained what he was up to, and then he'd carefully untangled himself from her and got out of bed. She snored a little bit, which was precious. 
Buck wondered idly as he got dressed if she could smell his emotions in her sleep. If he felt too much affection for her, would it be like waking up to a nice-smelling fart? This was a pressing concern, but not as important as getting himself together. Sundays were not for rest in Buck's book. In the last year and a half, he had put in the work to try to inch toward being healthier. He had been doing Ring Fit and weight lifting and just recently, jogging. He had a history of asthma, and so the running was pretty miserable for him. This had only strengthened his resolve, though. He was always a guy that had a lot of endurance, and so jogging regularly could only make him better. 
Exercise was its own reward, really, that's what Dad had said, and so every Sunday Buck would do his routine and drink his water and have a cobb salad for breakfast and a PB&J for lunch, as a treat.
At the moment, he was panting and sweating and working his way up the steps leading down into the amphitheater area of Center Park. There were other folks about, and he hoped they couldn't tell that he was fighting for his life. He tried to remember his breathing as he started prancing up the steps, his knees bouncing high. It would be a good day, he was sure of it.





Meanwhile, back at Buck's apartment, Adagio had frozen mid-step. Her gaze was locked on a pair of bright yellow eyes. Well, a single eye. The other one seemed to be studying something on the kitchen wall. Those eyes belonged to a thin and chesty blonde woman who at the moment was dressed in a modest and flirty ensemble from...the '50s? She had on a black blouse with white polka dots and an above-the-knee light blue skirt that had little bubbles embroidered on the side. All of this was behind a plain white apron, the outfit sitting like a bouquet of flowers behind a back. 

A disgustingly cute outfit, Adagio thought. They had said "Good morning, Buck!" at the exact same time and in nearly the same tone of voice. Wheels spun in Adagio's head as she assessed the situation. Cooking breakfast. A cute ensemble. Hair up in a ponytail. Swing music!? This little trollop had come to seduce Buck, in the most outdated and circuitous manner possible.
"And who are you, exactly?" Adagio said, down her nose. The shock quickly bled out of the woman's face, replaced by the expression a bear makes from the inner threshold of its cave.
"I'm Ditzy Doo, Buck's next door neighbor. You've...seen me before, right?" She said. Her voice was high and breathy and bumbling. It certainly fit her dopey appearance, Adagio thought. Ditzy Doo turned to continue working over the stove.
Ah, yes, the girl next door. Adagio had spied her before, but always when she was drunk or distracted or both. Ditzy Doo had occasionally come to ask the party to be a little bit quieter or request to borrow some napkins or some such or flutter her eyelashes at Buck. Good lord, she did come to seduce him! Adagio couldn't blame her; she knew what Buck was capable of, but still, the sheer audacity of it all. 
"And I've seen you too. You're Adagio, right?" Ditzy Doo said. She was focusing intently on flipping the ham in the frying pan before her. Adagio didn't like the way she said her name. Like scraping grease into the trash. Was she imagining things? It didn't matter. She wanted this woman out of her space. Buck's space. Her territory!
"Yes. Adagio Dazzle, leader of the Dazzlings." Adagio said. She tossed a hand through her curly hair and smirked. 
"Hm." Ditzy Doo said. 
Adagio took a look around the apartment. It was still in disarray from the last night's festivities. There were still unfinished drinks and plates just lying around. It had been a fun night. 
"...Well, it's a pleasure to meet you. It is odd, though, I don't believe I've ever heard Buck mention you." Adagio said. She felt a touch of anger and sullen resignation coming from the kitchen. 
"No, that makes sense. I haven't seen you around until just recently. Have you known him long?" Ditzy said. Adagio could swear she saw the ghost of a smile in the corner of her mouth. 
"Not especially, no. We met rather recently, and we got along so well that he insisted that I attend a new tradition of his. Cartoons and Vodka. It's been an absolute blast, let me tell you." Adagio said. She hadn't moved from her spot. Ditzy Doo was moving slowly but busily around the kitchen. Adagio saw her place some bread in the toaster. "Tell me, why haven't you attended any of these get-togethers? Wouldn't Buck be delighted at your company?" A swift jab. How would she react?
"Oh, no, I couldn't. I have my own hobby to do on Saturday nights. I can't just bum around Buck's apartment on the weekend! I have other things going on." Ditzy Doo said this casually as she shook a bit of pepper onto the ham. Adagio saw her reflection on the back wall of the stove frown for just a moment, then the slightest curl of the lip sneak onto her face. 
"Ah, well, I'm glad to hear that you're comfortably busy. I'm sorry if you don't get to see Buck as much, but I can assure you that he's having an excellent time as of late regardless." Adagio tittered.
"Well, that's good. I'm glad Buck is getting to enjoy himself again. Until just lately he's been sorta miserable!" Ditzy Doo said, cheerily. Miserable? What did Buck have to be miserable about? They had been spending time together, he-oh, no, but then Adagio had hurt him, and before that, she had tried to kill him, just a little bit so...wait, was she rubbing that in Adagio's face? What was her game, here?
"Yes, well, it's important to me that he be cheery. He's a good man, and he deserves to be around people that make him happy." Adagio said. "It can be hard some times, he's terribly thoughtful."
"Oh, I don't find it hard at all! Buck is really a sweet man when you get to know him, and he's easy to make happy. All Buck needs is a sympathetic ear and a good meal, and he's right as rain." Ditzy Doo said. She plated the ham and jumped for a second when the toast emerged. She began buttering the slices after placing another set in the toaster. 
"I suppose that's a part of it. Buck is a complicated and layered individual. And the poor man has needs that he barely even acknowledges. He needs someone bold in his life to help him unwind. I for one am glad to be here for him." Adagio said it slowly. Sweetly. She could taste Ditzy Doo fill with thin anxiety. Good. 
"...Did you need something? I'm cooking brunch for Buck, but I can absolutely make something for you if you aren't going anywhere!" Ditzy Doo's cheery pitch somehow grew even brighter. Adagio sniffed. Oh, oh, she was furious about Adagio. But she was doing an excellent job of hiding it. Ditzy turned from the stove to smile at Adagio. "I'm actually pretty good at guessing what to feed people. Let me think..." She said, her one focused eye traveling down Adagio's form, then back up. Ditzy put a hand on her hip. "...a salad, maybe?" 	
Oh. This bitch. It was going to be like that, then? Very well.
Adagio wondered if Buck had learned to repress his emotions via osmosis just by spending time with this one. How much time had Buck been spending with this one? Hopefully not enough to express himself exclusively in snide little remarks. Although, on him, Adagio thought, that might be quite cute. 
"Oh no, I don't need anything to eat at the moment. I was planning to ask Buck to dinner tonight. Do you have any recommendations about what he likes?"
"Oh, no need, I was gonna surprise Buck with a nice stew tonight after work. He likes things to be savory, typically. Aside from his sweet tooth of course. Buck loves his sweets." Ditzy Doo chuckled. He did?
"Ah, yes, Buck is fond of things that are nice and savory and thick." Adagio said. 
"Right! Well, did you plan on hanging out with Buck before work? I didn't know there was a plan for today." Ditzy said. 
"Oh, our little sleepover was impromptu. Buck's bed was just so cozy, I couldn't resist curling up with him and drifting off." Adagio said, inspecting her nails. Ditzy Doo's cold hatred was palpable and delicious. Vanilla ice cream, Adagio thought. Actually, that was a fine way to describe this one; painfully vanilla.
"As a matter of fact, I was going to surprise Buck with a delectable desert--catering to his sweet tooth, naturally-- as thanks for allowing me to share his bed. Likewise, I intended to help him clean his apartment, but he seems to have run off." Adagio was half-lying, of course, but she leaned over to start picking up empty glasses and plates. May as well commit to the bit. 
"Oh, what were you thinking of making?" Ditzy Doo poked. Adagio frowned. She froze, halfway between bending over and collecting dishes. Sonata had been the cook of the group. Adagio was a survivor, so naturally, she had workable skill around the kitchen, but she had never prepared a dessert in her life. They were unnecessary. The little slag had caught her out in the open. Still, cooking was simple. All one had to do was gather the right ingredients and follow a recipe. What was in the case at Sugar Cube Corner that looked simple? What constituted a 'simple dessert'? Think, Adagio, think!
"Angel Food Cake?"  
"Uhm, not to be rude, but there's something attached to your butt...?" Ditzy Doo said. Adagio straightened up in an instant. She slapped at her butt, and her hand came back with a sticky note that Buck had somehow gotten onto her without her noticing. It said "Gone joggin' early. Got work tonight, but willing to hang after workout." He had very intentionally written the apostrophe for his accent on the note, and Adagio couldn't decide if she found that endearing or irritating. She leaned toward the latter. Everything was irritating at the moment.
"Apparently, he went to jog early. I suppose it's a nice morning for it." Adagio looked out the living room window and found that there was an adequate amount of cloud cover for a sunny day. It also looked like it was going to be hot out there. She decided then that she wouldn't try to travel much if she could help it. 
"Ah, that's Buck. So full of surprises!" Ditzy said, giggling. "Did you know, he hates being given gifts? That's why I always try to surprise him with gestures like this; he wouldn't take them otherwise!" Ditzy's cheeriness at the mention of Buck was beginning to chafe at Adagio. She didn't have time for this. At any moment, Buck was going to come bounding up the stairs, cock waggling in his running shorts like a slutty little eggplant, and Adagio was not keen to share him. Not with this woman.
"Is that so? Buck seems like more of an opportunist to me." Adagio said, casually. She saw Ditzy Doo freeze.
"In what way?" Ditzy said, slowly. She had paused in the middle of putting together what looked like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Oh, how delicious; she didn't really know Buck.
"Oh, from what I've experienced, Buck has little issue taking what he wants, given the right prompt. That's all I mean. He's a good man, after all. A passionate man. Honest." Adagio purred. She placed some plastic cups and plates into the trash. She didn't bother looking at Ditzy; she could feel her seething. 
"Honest. Yes. Buck is very sweet and earnest. But, he has a bad habit of falling in with..."
"Yes?"
"Mean girls. So I'm very glad to see that you're here supporting him and being kind. He needs kind people around him. He's had enough of mean girls." Ditzy said, icily. She began placing the fried ham and some slices of what looked like pepper jack cheese between the next round of toast that popped up. She put the peanut butter and jelly sandwich onto a small saucer and stepped around Adagio to place it on the coffee table, as well as a tall glass of apple juice. When had she poured that?
Ditzy then went back to the kitchen and wrapped the ham and pepper jack sandwich in shrinkwrap before placing it in the refrigerator. "A nice surprise for later." She mumbled. Her anxiety seemed to wash away a bit, replaced by the same protective instinct that Sunburst had shown in the bar. Was this one not the usurper that Adagio expected? Perhaps she was just trying to be helpful, and perhaps get a little attention from big, sweet Buck in the process. 
Adagio could respect the hustle, but Buck was hers, and so Ditzy Doo would have to get out of the way regardless of her intentions.
"I'm sorry, did you need help with the cleaning? You have a lot of hair, so if you need to put it up, I could lend you a tie or something if that would help?" Ditzy said. She reached into her skirt pocket (!!!) and produced a couple of scrunchies. "Buck is always losing his scrunchies, somehow, so I carry some around just in case." Ditzy said, smiling.
"Oh, that's quite alright, there's just a few little odds and ends left to pick up." Adagio said. She placed the glass pieces in the sink and wiped her hands. 
"Oh, you weren't just going to leave it at that? There's still the vacuuming and the dusting and wiping the table!" Ditzy said. How many times had she snuck into Buck's house to clean!? Adagio narrowed her eyes at Ditzy Doo for a second. 
"Why, no, I wasn't going to leave it at that." Adagio lied. "You seem rather knowledgeable about cleaning Buck's apartment. Tell me, did you say you were his neighbor, or his maid?" Adagio said. Ditzy Doo snorted, the fool. That was meant to be an insult, not a joke.
"Ah, well, Buck needs a bit of help now and then, and so do I. We support each other; it's just the sorta relationship we have. Buck forgets to clean sometimes, and I-"
"You...sneak into his house and give him a good shine and polish?"
"What? No, of course not!" Ditzy Doo said, blushing. Ah, so she was the nervous sort. Likely not a threat, really. "I don't need to sneak in; Buck trusts me. I have a spare key!" Ditzy said. She had already begun gathering bits of trash. 
Adagio briefly considered the possibility of learning a transmutation spell to turn this little heifer's guts into snakes, but the thought passed. If this woman well pleased, she could come and interrupt Adagio's precious little time with Buck during the week and ruin her steadfast pace. This was unacceptable. Adagio turned in search of a vacuum cleaner and eventually found it hiding in a corner of the living room. 
"Tell me, Mrs..." Adagio trailed off.
"Miss, actually. Ditzy Doo." She said, picking up a feather duster from under the kitchen sink. 
"Oh, certainly. Tell me, how did you and Buck meet?" Adagio said, casually.
"Funny story actually, I was picking up my daughter Dinky from-" Adagio turned on the vacuum cleaner and cut Ditzy off mid-speech. When Ditzy turned to glare at her, Adagio made a yawning motion, then pointed at the vacuum, then to her ear. Ditzy Doo gritted her teeth and turned away. Adagio made some motions around the living room floor. She wasn't exactly sure how this machine worked; she had usually pushed this kind of labor off on Aria. Ditzy Doo turned to look at Adagio's work and saw her moving the vacuum cleaner in a loose circular motion in front of Buck's desk. She swiftly got up and slapped the switch off.
"Stop! You're gonna suck up Buck's papers with that thing! There could be important notes in there!" Ditzy said. Adagio could taste that her concern was genuine, if ridiculous.
"Important notes? On the floor?" Adagio said. Ditzy Doo daintily kneeled down and picked up a small stack of papers that was under the desk, placing them out of harm's way.
"Yes. Buck has a unique artistic process, and it can get a bit messy. That's why he needs some housekeeping now and again." Ditzy chided. "You need the handy vac to get under there, anyway." She said. Ditzy Doo crossed the room and grabbed the handheld vacuum from where it was hanging on the hat rack. What? She bumped it with her breasts as she turned, and had to stop and steady the rack before it fell over. Ditzy peeked at Adagio indignantly, straightened her blouse, and then stepped over to her.
"Do you mind? I need to get down there."  Ditzy said. Adagio stared at her for a full three seconds, then stepped aside. Ditzy's obnoxiously large bust slapped lightly against the lip of the desk as she got down on all fours. 

Adagio took a moment to appraise the woman's curves, feeling a great deal of comfort and security in her own form, then started the vacuum again and pushed it thoughtlessly around the living room. 
Just how far had this one gone with Buck? Adagio sensed a deviousness in Ditzy Doo. Something about her neighborly defense against Adagio didn't read right. She was a self-interested little thing, and if her interest was in Buck, why had it been so easy for Adagio to snare him? It was simple, Missus Ditzy Doo here hadn't managed to catch him herself. How?
Adagio saw Ditzy Doo stand, then, and as Adagio stealthily watched her switch to the feather duster to get at the bookshelves, she saw Ditzy Doo lean far down. 
She wasn't wearing any panties. 
Adagio saw the entire relationship between Ditzy and Buck laid bare in an instant. The cowardly little slag had definitely come here to mark her territory. No, wait, she didn't know Adagio was here. She was going to make a half-hearted attempt to seduce Buck, likely by standing around like a lesbian sheep, waiting for Buck to realize that she is, in fact, a woman. And poor, dense Buck had never even noticed. How many times had Ditzy repeated this pathetic little dance? It would be sad if it weren't so hilarious. 
Adagio cackled with relief. Ditzy Doo shuddered and spun around, looking briefly like a terrified small dog. Adagio couldn't believe she had almost been intimidated by this creature.
"What's so funny?" Ditzy Doo said, hands on her hips. Adagio strode forward and smirked at Ditzy, lowering her voice.
"Oh, nothing. It's just I was worried for a moment that you were here to get in my way." She said, crossing her arms.
"What?" Ditzy blinked.  She stank of co-dependence. And seaspray shampoo.
"Nothing at all, dear. Do you know where Buck keeps his surface cleaner?" Adagio said. Ditzy's eyes slowly squinted at Adagio. 
"...Under the sink." The dense creature said. Adagio turned around, a few strands of her hair lightly smacking Ditzy's shoulder. She grabbed a colorful bottle and a piece of scrap cloth and then moved to spray Buck's TV stand when Ditzy snatched the bottle out of her hand. 
"That's degreaser." Ditzy said, sharply. For a split second, the spindly-armed girl's eyes both focused on Adagio, then she blinked and they walled once more. Pity. It had to have been pity, the reason Buck would let her come here and clean his messes. 
"...so it is. Right, this is used for cleaning up the ugly mess you left on the stovetop. My mistake, I must have spaced out for a moment. I was wracking my brain for an answer." Adagio said, stepping away. While she talked, Ditzy returned to her fastidious dusting of Buck's writing area. 
"An answer to what? If you have questions about Buck, I can answer them. I...we know each other real well." Ditzy said, quietly.
"Right. I expect only you can answer this question, Miss Doo. I can tell that Buck is a complicated man, but in certain regards he's very simple." Adagio said, casually. She peaked at Ditzy and saw a rueful smile spread across her face. 
"Yeah, that's Buck. One minute he's writing a thesis about critical film theory, the next he's forgetting to pick up his mail. I like that about him, though." Ditzy said. Oh, gag, there was a little blush in her cheeks. 
"What I mean is, when it comes to certain...recreations, Buck is remarkably straightforward, wouldn't you say?" Adagio said, drawing her wit. "When Buck finds something intriguing, it seems that he'll go for it single-mindedly as if it were the only thing  in the world that matters." Adagio said. She was wiping down the stovetop, wincing as she looked over the smudged rag before dropping it in the trash. 
"Mmhm. That's my Buck. He can't help himself--it's either all in or no interest. No in-between with Buck..." Ditzy said. It was low, and a bit mumbling. Adagio could feel her own smirk grow more sinister. 
"Yes, that's right. And that's what I wanted to ask you, Ditzy Doo." Her steel flashed.
"Hm?" Ditzy was dusting the lower window frame now, but she looked back quizzically at Adagio with her stupid, off-center doe eyes and her dangling udders.
"Ditzy, we both know that Buck is a sex fiend. Why do you sit around waiting for him to lay you when you know that all you have to do is bend over and ask?" Adagio watched as Ditzy's confused, somewhat suspicious expression shifted to one of seething fury. Adagio had found a nerve to stab, and now Ditzy's face was turning red with equal parts embarrassment and anger. Ditzy stomped toward Adagio.
"You...! What are your intentions with Buck!?" Ditzy demanded. Adorable. Outdated. Like an antique teddy bear, this one. Adagio raised a cocky eyebrow and gave a smarmy smirk. 
"I want him. It's just that simple. I know that you do, too." Adagio growled. She crossed her arms under her breasts and pushed forward into the taller Ditzy, who stumbled backward a bit. Ditzy Doo's back touched the bookshelf as Adagio's breasts and hers met between the two of them. "And so, I'm going to take him from you, Miss Ditzy Doo, and I'm going to keep him from you, and I'm going to enjoy every moment of it. He belongs to me, and no one, especially not a sniveling little wannabe housewife with a lame eye is going to stand between me and What. I. Want."
"What...what is wrong with you!?" Ditzy said. She was keeping her voice low. Why? In case Buck appeared out of thin air in his living room?
"Oh, nothing's wrong, dear. In fact, everything is going swimmingly! Buck is going to be mine, and there's nothing you can do about-" 
"Get out of my way." Ditzy said. Somehow, it sounded like a threat. Adagio could see there were tears in her eyes. Pathetic little wretch. Ditzy Doo moved around Adagio and made for the door.
She tripped forward in an instant, slamming into the wing of the coffee table and catapulting both the sandwich and the juice across the apartment. Adagio's outstretched foot was mostly incidental. Ditzy Doo was a bumbler, after all. Pratfalls were to be expected. What wasn't expected was this; the moment that Ditzy Doo fell, the door to Buck's apartment clicked and swung open.

"Uh...huh. Well, I guess it's a shower and not a towel off, huh?" Buck said. The sandwich had landed on his forehead and now it was trailing down the side of his face. The juice was everywhere, including the front of Buck's shirt and pants, the threshold he was standing in, and the carpet beneath it. Buck dabbed a bit of jelly from his chin and idly licked it off his finger. "Mm. Well, I guess that's on me. I was just thinking I wanted a pb&j." Buck smiled for a moment at Adagio, then looked at the floor and saw Ditzy Doo crumpled up. "Uh...Ditzy? Y'alright?" 
Adagio looked down and wondered if her eyes could see the back of her skull. Here it comes. Ditzy Doo's shoulders were shaking. She started to pick herself up, shuddering. Adagio heard a sniffle and a whimper, and immediately Buck was kneeling at Ditzy's side, helping her up. There were already tears streaming down her face. 
Buck's face and taste were filled with remorse and gentle care. As Buck helped her up, it became clear that Ditzy had the makings of a bruise going down her arm. "S'alright...Let's sit you down, and I'll get you some ice, alright?" Buck said. He handled Ditzy like she was made of porcelain. The way Ditzy Doo was shaking, Adagio could be convinced that her spindly limbs were made of glass. "Can you move it? Try. I'm here, don't-don't worry..." Buck soothed. Ditzy Doo slowly levered her arm and rolled it. "Okay?" Buck asked.
"I'm f-fine...nothin' broken. I fell, that's all." Ditzy whimpered.
"Alright, then it's probably just a bruise. You know what to do with those, right?" Buck asked.
"Stay off it. Be careful. Keep it elevated." Adagio said, casually. 
"Oh, hey. Adagio, could you get me some ice in a hand towel?" Buck said. Adagio was irritated at his chivalry toward Ditzy Doo, but then he looked at her, and for the briefest of moments she felt a rush of endorphins as Buck's love seemed to flood the world. 
A glance. 
He was sweaty and sticky and exhausted, clearly, but here he was tending to his sniveling neighbor like she was a kicked puppy, and he had looked at Adagio. 
It was just a glance, and it seemed he had composed a hundred poems, sung a thousand ballads to Adagio's glory, all in one singular instant as his eyes fell upon her. It seemed that Buck had missed her on his run. How had Adagio never noticed it before? Or was Buck simply holding back his emotions until now? He loved her. It was simple and raw and overwhelming.
"-dagio? Adagio? Hey? Can you help us out, please?" He was talking. Focus.
"Yes, of course." Adagio said, halfway out of the room. She gathered up a clean-ish smelling towel from Buck's bathroom and then had to stop and put a hand to her chest before she reached into the freezer. Her heart was pounding. She glanced over her shoulder. She tasted Buck's care for Ditzy Doo. He was smiling at her tenderly. Ditzy Doo's eyes were trained on the bit of couch space between them, it seemed. He wasn't even looking at Adagio, so where was this sudden surge coming from? Focus, now. He made a request of you. Play the part. 
Adagio bundled up the ice and passed it swiftly to Buck.
"Hold that." Buck said. He gave Adagio a grateful look and plucked a roll of tape off his desk. Adagio crossed her arms and looked away. Ditzy Doo patiently held the towel to her arm, then let Buck gently wrap it up. "Notta doctor here, but I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that if it swells up after this, you gotta get it checked out. it don't look all that bad, though. Just don't go flailing your arm into stuff, and you'll be fine." Ditzy Doo nodded as Buck lectured. She wiped the tears from her face.
"I think I'll be okay to work." She said.
"I dunno, Ditzy, you might have to use a sick day or two. Does it hurt bad?"
"I'm okay, Buck. I promise." Ditzy said. 
"...alright, if you're sure." This sounded like an old song and dance. Adagio didn't have to speculate why Buck had been ready to administer first aid. Ditzy Doo was a klutz. 
"She said she's fine, Buck. Give her a bit of space." Adagio suggested. Adagio saw a pensive look in Buck's eyes. Buck looked around his space, saw it cleaned, and frowned.
"...were you guys in here cleanin'?" Buck said, finally.
"Mhm." Ditzy Doo smiled.
"Ditzy, you know you don't gotta do that, right? I can clean up after myself, you know?"
"Yeah, but you're busy and you've been workin' hard, I thought it might be nice to surprise you!" Ditzy Doo said, disgustingly cheerfully. Buck looked to Adagio. Fireworks, again, but lighter this time.
"Are you okay, Adagio? You look flushed. D'ya need me to turn on the fan?" Adagio looked away.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Buck. What about you? You're an absolute mess at the moment." Adagio snarked. Buck looked down and saw his ruined black tank top and grey athletic shorts. He laughed.
"Oh, yeah, that's right! Hah, well, oh shit, Ditzy, did I get any mess on ya? Your hair okay? Izzat a new skirt?" Buck asked, suddenly getting up and moving away from Ditzy Doo. He carefully perused the couch for any sign of his mess. Ditzy gave herself a brief pat-down, then smiled and shook her head at Buck. Then, she leaned over and gave Buck a tender kiss on the cheek. It was as if an invisible hand had reached over and straightened Adagio's spine. It was like a tiny little spark of pink sugar on her tongue. It was sweet and loving and protective, that kiss. Like some kind of magical ward that a grandmother would leave on their sire. It tasted like a warm cookie. It was disgusting. 
"Cool, cool. Okay, well, I'm a fucking jelly-smeared disaster now, so I'mma go get cleaned up." Buck chuckled. On the way to his bedroom, he turned. Snapping from her blinding rage, Adagio's eyes searched Buck's form quickly like she had forgotten his dimensions. "Oh, right, I guess I'm late to the party, but Adagio, this is Ditzy Doo. She's my neighbor and confidant; one of the best damn people I know." Buck said. Adagio gave Ditzy a half-hearted finger wave. More than she deserved, in other words. "And Ditzy, this is Adagio Dazzle."
"The pleasure is all yours. Buck and I are-"
"Friends." Buck finished.
"Excuse me?" Adagio said, her tone turning sour in an instant.
"Good friends." Buck said, smiling and nodding. 
"...what?" Ditzy Doo said. "I thought that you two were...a thing?"
"A thing? Are we a thing...huh...I don't actually know. Whaddaya think, 'dagio?" Buck said. Adagio did some quick mental calculations. The last time she checked, humans tended to decide if they were "going steady" after three or four dates. Common knowledge would suggest that they date for an average of 3 months before they stop being able to maintain whatever facade they put up to get a partner in the first place. It's at that point that most relationships fall apart. While she and Buck had had intimate physical contact and some rather intimate conversations, in truth they...
"Ditzy, check it out. She's doin' this thing where she like freezes up? And she gets this tiny lil' frown and I think she's doin' like a Sherlock sorta thing? Like I think she's monologuing in there."
...had only been on two dates. She was going about this whole thing backwards, it seemed. No wonder Buck seemed anxious and disoriented, this was all rather atypical. What was his exact train of logic on this? Wait, he's not anxious right now, is he? Is that because of Ditzy? How close were they, actually? Was she an actual threat, or was Adagio just projecting?
"Yeah...that's...that's kinda odd, Buck."
"Is it? I think it's adorable. Hey. Hey!" Buck said, somewhere miles away.
Well, this wasn't really a shakeup. Buck was still afraid of her, probably, so committing to the 'dating' label might be too much for him at the moment. He truly was an anxious thing, wasn't he? So then what's the play, here? Should I-
"Adagio! Babe! Hey!" Buck said, a bit louder. Adagio snapped out of her dissociative episode as Buck's hand touched her shoulder lightly. "Hey, I know you're doin' like the "equalizer" thing, or whatever, but I actually wanted your opinion?"
"Ah yes, uhm...No."
"No?"
"No, we aren't dating. We've only been out together twice, and Cartoons and Vodka simply doesn't count because there are other people there. Dating implies that we've been having frequent quality time alone." Adagio said, crossing her arms.
"And while I must say our alone time so far has been...quality." She said, smirking at Buck. 
"Aw shucks." Buck said, without a hint of sarcasm.
"It has also been very brief. Buck and I aren't anything serious, it seems."
"Well, I dunno about that. I do really wanna get to know you, Adagio. And I think you wanna get to know me too."
"What do you mean? I know everything about you already!" Adagio said, indignantly.
"What's Buck's favorite color?" Ditzy Doo said, striking Adagio square in the stomach with her verbal jab.
"Uhmm....hmm...ahh...fair enough." Adagio said, shrugging. 
"How about next Sunday?" Buck said.
"Hm? What's that, dear?" Adagio said. 
"You been hangin' out at my place every Saturday watchin' whatever I put in front of you. How about we do somethin' you want to do?" Buck said. 
"Oh. Oh! You want to explore one of my hobbies, Buck?" Adagio said. 
Panic. Bald panic rose in Adagio's very core. What hobbies had she been getting up to just lately besides sulking in her bathtub, getting drunk, and just recently getting hopelessly addicted to a new kind of genre fiction? Oh, this was her academy days all over again!
"Yeah! I wanna see what you do for fun!" Buck said. Fun. What I do for fun? What do people around here do for fun? Adagio liked to do Sudoku puzzles in the morning, those were fun. Well, fun-ish. Well, they were a challenge--a very slight one. If Buck found out that Adagio spent most of her day either working or scheming, he would think her an unrepentant work-a-holic at best, and an extremely boring bimbo at worst. This morning was veering dangerously off-track.
"Hahaha, well I don't think I can wait all week. I want to spend more time with you Buck, not sit around waiting for you to come to me! Again!" Adagio said, waving her hand as if the conversation were a puff of smoke that she could banish. "What, uhm, what about Tuesday? You have those days off, don't you?" Adagio said.
"Tuesday is game night with the boys." Ditzy Doo said, tapping her foot. She refused to look at Adagio now, it seemed. Adagio could taste her anxiety and her hatred and her care for Buck, all snarled and tangled up and dripping out of Ditzy. 
"Plus Scoots." Buck said. Adagio looked between Buck's smiling face and Ditzy's far-off stare. She smiled. Twist the knife, dear. 
"Well, I'm not waiting until Saturday to see you again, Buck." Adagio said. 
"Uh, what about your lunches at the shop?" Buck said. Adagio stepped up beside him and bumped him with her hip. "Oh, quality time. Right?"
"Alone time, Buck. I want you alone." Adagio growled. She raised an eyebrow at Buck and caught his eyes. Just a small lick of the lips, and she could feel the embers of Buck's lust awakening. It was quiet and warm. Good. No need to further inquire about my off time.
"Oh...oh! Well, uh...hm. Well, if you want, you could come to Game Night with me!" 
"What?" Ditzy Doo said. 
"Oh, I wouldn't intrude on your sacred time with the boys!" Adagio said in mock concern.
"Naw, naw, it's no trouble. I wanted to invite you anyway, since you seem like you'd be a natural at roleplaying. And after, we can, uh, I can take you out to dinner. Well, then again, it'll probably be late by then, uh..." 	
"I'll accept takeout." Adagio sighed. "For you." 
"Alright then, that sounds like a plan!" Buck said. He was playing it cool, but Adagio was learning. He tasted like raw excitement, like a child that brought their dog to show and tell. He was going to show her something at Game Night. "And then we can do your thing come Sunday, okay? I'll take the day off and everything."
"Hah, right, oh, yes, uhm. My thing. That I do...for fun." Adagio muttered.
"Oh, speaking of dinner, Buck, I don't know if you got the text but there's been a...somethin' downtown. Sugar Cube Corner is closed for the evening!" Ditzy said, perking up.
"Oh, shit. What happened?"
"Something about a sinkhole? In the street?"
"'scuse me?"
"I dunno, but Mrs. Cake said we would have to wait for it to be patched before we can come back to work. She's counting it as paid time off, don't worry." Ditzy Doo you idiotic, wonderful pawn. You just saved me, Adagio thought.
"Uh, is that going to pull out of our PTO for the year? 'cause I need that to go see my folks around the holidays..."
"I dunno, Buck." 
"Okay, well...that's weird, but sure. That means I've got the day off!" Buck said, brightly. He looked at Adagio, expectantly. Oh gods, no, don't ask me again, please. Adagio cringed. 
"Yeah! And, Buck, guess what?" Ditzy Doo tittered. Adagio rolled her eyes.
"Whazzat?" 
"I'm making your favorite stew tonight!"
"Get out! Man, I must've died while jogging and gone to foodie heaven!" Buck said. 
"And, as a bonus, I'm making you a surprise dessert, Buck." Adagio said. She reached out and lightly caressed Buck's backside. He blushed. Oh. So he liked that, did he?
"Is it...uh...is it gonna' be a sexual kinda dessert?"
"What? No, I...well...hm." Adagio hadn't considered that. With a brief glance at Ditzy, Adagio boldly grabbed Buck's crotch through his pants and squeezed it tenderly. "Do you want it to be, Buck~?" She said. Ditzy Doo's rage was delicious. She had to stop making this so easy. 
"Ahhh...hah...well, uh, it'd be rude to just kick out my house guests after dinner, especially when they're cooking, so-ah!" Buck mumbled. Adagio squeezed. Ditzy seethed. 
"I'm not hearing a noooo~" Adagio said in a sing-songy voice. 
"No, no, you cut that out!" Buck chuckled, batting her hand away. "Chill out on that, huh? The sex stuff is obviously making Ditzy Doo uncomfortable." He said, giving the wannabe housewife an apologetic shrug. "She ain't into that stuff, so maybe put a lid on it, huh?" He murmured in Adagio's ear.

Oh. Oh, no, oh the poor thing. Oh, Ditzy, Buck thought that the simpering little coward was celibate! Adagio felt Ditzy Doo's chances with Buck sink into the ocean; a smoldering wreck. What had Adagio even been worried about? She was hopeless. "Hey, actually Ditzy, how are you gonna stir that soup with that shiner on your arm? Won't that hurt?" Buck said. 
"Oh...oh...that's right, I..." Ditzy Doo spoke from her social shipwreck. She sounded hollow. Adagio realized then that she had an opportunity to salt the earth, here. She wanted to crush all of Ditzy Doo's hope, and she had all evening to do it. 
"Oh, not to worry, Buck can help you with that while I handle dessert!" Adagio said. There was a blank silence in the room. Adagio looked between the two.
"I uh...yeah, I could help!" Buck said.
"Are you sure, Buck? I know you have trouble with-"
"No, no it's fine. I'll be fine as long as I follow your instructions. I won't touch anything you don't tell me to." Buck said, quickly. Adagio held her tongue. Too easy. 
"Okay, if you're sure..."
"I'm sure. 'dagio, could I ask you to go with Ditzy for the groceries? I don't see no stew fixins' so I assume you haven't got 'em, yet?" Buck asked, smiling at Adagio. Adagio blinked and blushed and melted a little. She wasn't sure why. 
"...yes, I can. Now please, Buck, there's peanut butter in your hair, so stop being helpful, and go get clean!" Adagio said. She slapped Buck on the ass as he turned.
"Alright, alright! I'll probably be about done with my workout when you get back!" Buck said, chuckling his way into the bedroom. He poked his head out. "And don't worry about the mess in here, I'll take care of it!" He said. 
"Go on, shoo!" Adagio said. There was heat in her face and a nervous tapping in her foot. She turned to look at Ditzy Doo, who had been staring at Adagio's back with an expression halfway between bemused and horrified.
"You...you're blushing." Ditzy said. Adagio wordlessly trotted into Buck's room and came back out wearing a pair of sweatpants with the drawstring pulled all the way out, and one of Buck's plain grey hoodies. She slipped her shoes on in a manner that she hoped was menacing enough to erase that observation from the world. 
"Let's go." She said. Now it was her that wouldn't look at Ditzy.





Ditzy Doo's hands sat clutching 10 and 2 like a suddenly sentient crash test dummy, trying to hold herself together. They had taken her car, and Adagio was sitting slumped halfway down the seat like a moody teenager, seatbelt never buckled. She looked like she was doing that monologuing thing that Buck mentioned. Ditzy Doo decided to give that a try. 

Ditzy Doo loved mornings. The calming chorus of the birds outside her window was one of the best features of living in her crummy apartment, the other being Buck. She loved to rise with the sun and take a little time to have a soothing cup of tea or scroll on her phone, or start a project or watch just a bit of trash tv before gearing herself up to convince Dinky for the morning that going to 1st grade was both a good idea and something she wanted to do while fully clothed. 
This morning, what she thought would be a good morning, had gone mad. This homewrecker sitting next to her had come strutting out of Buck's bedroom like she owned the place and also that hoodie she's wearing-that's Buck's hoodie! She's not even wearing a bra! Adagio had been blushing for the entire ride so far, and only now Ditzy could see that it was finally starting to run out of her cheeks. What's her deal? Well, it was hot out. But still; one minute she's acting like a villain from a disney channel original movie, and the next she starts hesitating and waffling when Buck is around? How did this happen? Where did she even come from? Ditzy didn't know, and maybe it didn't matter, but this girl was trouble, and not like Berry Punch was trouble, no, this girl was a schemer and probably not drunk most of the time. Then again, every time Ditzy had glimpsed her during cartoon nights, she was definitely sorta wasted. But not this time, no, she had spent the night with her claws all over poor Buck and then came out in the morning looking like the cat that caught the canary. Ditzy wished that Adagio was just a lush like Berry Punch. Then Ditzy Doo could calmly remind Buck that alcoholism is bad and maybe ask if he wants to have tea sometime? Buck liked his tea sweet. Sweetie. He was too sweet. Buck needed to learn how to say 'no' to women like this! Luckily, Ditzy Doo was here to save the day. She wasn't about to let this orange cheeto lookin', no bra having, man-stealing...MEAN little-
"You do realize I can see you staring at me, right?  Just because you're wall-eyed doesn't mean the lazy one is invisible." Adagio spat, finally sitting up.
"I'm not staring, my eye just does that when I look forward."
"Oh, so you can't help it?'
"Yeah."
"How dreadfully uninteresting. Listen, Miss Doo, you don't like me, and I think your skirt is tacky. But for Buck's sake, I think it's best that we handle this evening with civility and grace. We should put our differences aside, at least for right now." She said, staring out the window. Ditzy Doo let out a sigh. She was mean, but also sorta reasonable.
"Really? I mean, bad taste on the skirt, everybody loves bubbles! But anyways, I'm on board, if you would maybe tone it down some with Buck-"
"First of all, I was lying about the truce, but secondly, what do you mean 'tone it down'? I barely even touched the man!"
"You grabbed his crotch!"
"And he loved that, didn't you see his face?" 
"You literally told me that you wanted to make him yours, and you keep making...sex eyes at him!"
"What do you mean?"
"You're doing it right now!"
"This is just what my face looks like, dear. If it's sexy to you, that's a 'you' issue." Adagio said. Now it was Ditzy's turn to blush furiously.
"And you're not even wearing a bra!" Ditzy squealed. Her 'civility and grace' was mostly focused on not running people over. Sometimes her sight would drift and she'd swerve a little, and that was on a good day. 
"And you're not wearing panties. So honestly? I think you're the one that should tone it down, Miss Ditzy Doo." Adagio said. Ditzy Doo's civility and grace were shattered as she felt a whole body blush coming on. "What, are you not even going to try defending yourself on that one? Even with the whole 'pure housewife' aesthetic that you're doing with that outfit?" 
"...OH HEY LOOK AT THAT WE'RE HERE AT THE MARKET!" Ditzy Doo shouted before killing the engine and jumping out of the car. She wondered if there was anywhere nearby she could take a cold shower.  





Ditzy Doo didn't need the extra arms, really. Buck's kitchen was basically an extension of her own, and she only needed a couple of things. She had a grocery basket hanging on her not-bruised arm and was currently looking over some onions in the produce section. Adagio was idly flipping through a magazine several paces behind her. Ditzy Doo hadn't said a word to her after getting out of the car, and when she'd look up, Adagio was somehow always ready to catch her with an evil grin over the copy of "Millionaires Monthly" she was scanning. How does she do that? It didn't matter. Just focus. Dinky likes little potatoes and Buck likes bacon in his stew. It was going to be a nice night, whether or not the poofy little social monster wanted to muss it up; Ditzy was determined to make it so. As she finished collecting her odds and ends for the night, Ditzy turned to Adagio.
"Aren't you gonna get the things you need for your cake?"  
"Oh, yes, that's right. The dazzling dessert that I'm making for Buck! Right. The...particular ingredients elude me, actually." Adagio said. She fidgeted a bit. What's she on, now?
"Angel Food Cake, right?"
"Yes, that's the one!" 
"So what's the holdup?"
"Oh, nothing at all, I was just trying to be polite and wait for you to be done with your errand, first!"
"Okay, why? There's two of us. You could just look up the recipe on your phone, get the stuff and then meet back up at my car." Ditzy Doo said. She was already heading toward the checkout line.
"...right." Adagio looked about for a moment, like she'd been caught shoplifting, then she sucked her teeth and looked to Ditzy helplessly before glaring in the opposite direction. "I'm a bit...between phones at the moment." 
"What?" 
"Well, my previous phone is indisposed and the new one is in the mail, so I can't exactly look up the recipe."
"It's...angel food cake is just a sponge cake and some berries. Maybe a little sweet cream on it if you're feeling extra. Just go get a sponge cake packet and read the instructions on the back." Ditzy Doo rolled her eye. She saw Adagio try not to laugh as the other eye rolled in the opposite direction. "Haven't you done cake before?" Ditzy asked. 
"I have plenty of 'cake' to go around already, thank you, now move aside." Adagio stormed off in a huff.

Ditzy Doo was beyond done with this woman, yet she couldn't help being curious. The other girls before hadn't given a single toot about Buck. They had swaggered into his home, made a mess, and then wandered away when they realized he wouldn't let them ruin his life. Buck knew better than this, right? But then, Ditzy had seen the way Buck looked at Adagio. And Adagio had gotten all flustered like a schoolgirl. Adagio lit up in front of Buck the way Ditzy had during the first year she had really known him. That was real, wasn't it? Malicious as she seemed, no one could fake that reaction. Everything else about her was like a villain from Dinky's Saturday morning cartoons. Right. It didn't matter how she acted around Buck, really. It was obvious to Ditzy Doo that Adagio Dazzle had come to hurt Buck; to try and control him and abuse him. Buck needed someone to protect him. Ditzy Doo searched around the store after loading her car and found Adagio squinting at the side of a box of cake mix while pushing a cart around which was filling up with ingredients. Ditzy Doo took a deep breath. She'd had time to think of what to say. 
"This isn't going to work, you know." Ditzy said it as coldly as possible. Adagio slowly turned to regard her.
"Excuse me?" She growled.
"I said, this isn't going to work. The cake, I mean. Buck works at a sweet shop. He isn't going to be impressed by something so basic." Ditzy said.
"Speaking from experience?" Adagio spat back. Ditzy Doo felt her teeth grinding for a moment, then steadied herself. Don't let her win.
"What I'm saying is, whatever you plan to do with Buck, it won't work. Girls like you...you all think he's dumb. Or gullible, but he's not. Buck is nice. He's patient, and he keeps giving people like you the benefit of the doubt. And then they toss him into the garbage when they get bored with him."
"There's no one like me, Miss Doo," Adagio said, grinning.
"And then there's that. You're arrogant. You know what I think?" Ditzy said.
"Thinking? You? Oh, honey, don't strain yourself for my sake!" Adagio said.
"What I think is that Buck won't let you abuse him. So you're pretending to be nice to him to wring something out of him. And the moment you stop pretending, he's going to see you for exactly what you are." Ditzy crossed her arms. Adagio gave a sharp grin. She got a bit closer. It felt like her gaze was trying to rip Ditzy apart.
"Ohhh? And what, pray tell, do you think I am, Miss Ditzy Doo?" 
"A parasite. A tiny, vicious little thing trying to suck as much blood out of Buck as you can before he catches wise and swats you off." Ditzy said. Adagio tilted her head so swiftly and sharply that Ditzy heard a little crack. The woman's eye was twitching, and her lips were moving but no words were coming out. She looked halfway to unhinged, but Ditzy Doo would not be daunted. "So you can strut around his apartment and paw him up all you like. It's only a matter of time before you show him your true colors, and then he'll throw you out. No matter what kind of damage you do to him, the people that love Buck will be there to help him heal. Because unlike you, he actually needs us." Ditzy Doo finished. She hadn't blinked or looked away from Adagio. She watched the face of Buck's lover twist into a scowl of cold, unending hatred. Ditzy felt as if she were looking at the ocean at night. 
"I could kill you by looking at you." Adagio said it, not with menace, but as a statement of fact.
"If you did, Buck would never talk to you again." Ditzy said, simply. "You don't need all of those ingredients by the way. It's cake mix; you just add water." With that, Ditzy Doo turned and headed for the parking lot.





By the time they got back to Buck's apartment, Adagio had mumbled seventeen different curses in six different languages. She felt utterly defeated for the first time in literal ages. Ditzy Doo didn't say a word the whole car ride back. The basic little bitch had caught her. She was like a guard dog; too stupid to be intimidated and too stubborn to be negotiated with. She would stay a thorn in her side for as long as she pursued Buck. 
It was war, then, pure and simple. 
Adagio saw Ditzy Doo knock, try the door handle, then open it. Adagio had gotten used to barging through Buck's doors whenever she felt like during parties. Ditzy Doo's delicacy took her by surprise. Adagio was hit with a confusing wave of emotions as the door opened. Determination, joy, exertion, and love, all mixing together in a sweat-soaked haze. She heard Buck shout something, then she scrambled into the apartment to see who he was with. 
Buck was standing in front of his tv in a fresh set of clothes. He was running in place, holding some kind of plastic wheel in his hands. There was what appeared to be a smaller clone of Ditzy Doo right alongside Buck, copying his every move. "Almost there, Dink! Final stretch, c'mon, let's push it!" Buck said, between heavy breaths. 
"Okay!" The little Ditzy said. She looked like she was having an easier time with the breathing, but her feet were sort of kicking forward instead of staying under her knees with each step. She was wearing a pair of somewhat baggy grey overalls and a simple white shirt underneath. Her hair was the same blonde as Ditzy Doo, but with a cream-colored edge, and her skin was a pale purple. Actually, in a way she looked remarkably similar to Buck. 
Buck's dark purple skin glistened with sweat as he and the little one counted their high-kneed steps out loud. "One! Two! Three! Four! Five!" They said in unison. There was a twinkling sound from the TV, and then a peppy voice said: "Now turn your exercise into experience points with a victory pose!" 
"You ready, Dinky?" Buck said, turning to the child. She gave him a thumbs-up, practically bouncing on her heels. They smiled and nodded at each other, then they slowly lowered into a squat. 
"Hold it...hoooooold it...!" The little one said. Adagio watched Buck's body compress down like a spring. He looked incredibly solid and powerful like that. His calves flexed and bulged. They looked like they could cut glass. 
"Release toward the sky!" The voice on the TV proclaimed. Buck and the child then sprung up and did a bit of a hop, stretching their bodies and reaching. 
"Yeeeaaah! We did it Dinky, we did it!" Buck said. He lifted the child, Adagio supposed her name was Dinky, up into his arms and spun about with her. He nuzzled his cheek against hers.
"Noooo Buck, nooo your beard is all fuzzy! It tickles!" Dinky squealed.
"Oh, sorry, Dink. Here, is this better?" Buck said, with a silly grin. He blew air into Dinky's cheek, making a raspberry sound. The girl squealed and kicked. 
"Lemmie down, lemmie down!" She demanded. Buck set her down and patted her head.
"Wait, wait, no, I wanna go up! Do the flippy thing!" Dinky said, clapping her hands.
"Oh, ya mean this!?" Buck said. He picked up Dinky under her arms, then flipped her around and caught her ankles. He then spun the tiny child and let her hang by the ankles behind his back while she squealed and laughed. Buck spun her again, then tossed her onto his couch. "KABOOOM!" Buck yelled, kneeling down to tickle the energetic little tyke. Dinky screamed and thrashed about and laughed like a deranged muppet. 
Adagio felt a surging rush of sheer maternal love charge past her. She looked over and saw Ditzy Doo with an expression of the most disgustingly pure adoration Adagio had seen in recent memory. Gears turned in Adagio's head. That child was definitely Ditzy Doo's little crotch spawn. Why then was she a similar purple color to Buck, and why was he handling her so well? Just what in the world had Buck not told her about this relationship!? Adagio began to silently panic for the third or so time today. She felt exhausted as Buck finally finished tossing the toddler around.
Buck stood and put his hands on his hips and spoke. "Alright Dinky, that's it for today! We did a whole buncha real tough exercises, so you know what it's time for?" 
"It's juice time!" The child was on her feet in an instant. 
"Uh-uh, Dinky! What do we always do before and after exercise?" Buck said, sternly. Dinky scratched her chin and seemed to think hard about it.
"Uhm...uhm...we...drink water?" 
"Yeah! What else?"
"Ooh, I 'member! We stretch!"
"That's right! You're so smart, Dinky, I would'a forgot!" Buck said, slapping his forehead. He gave Dinky a knowing smile, and the two of them did some rudimentary stretches according to instructions on the TV screen. Adagio got a glorious view of Buck's legs and backside as he touched his toes. Buck looked over and noticed her, finally, as if he could sense her rising thirst. "Oh, hey ladies! Back already?" Buck said, standing up straight. He rolled his arm, smiling.
"It's been like two hours. Have you been exercising the whole time, Buck?" Ditzy Doo said.
"Naw. I was takin' a nap, then Dinky showed up, so we did some coloring, then I remembered that it's Sunday, so I got back to exercisin'. And you know Dinky likes to join me on that! Don't worry, it's still nothin' too-too strenuous, just the easy settings on Ring Fit." Buck said. 
"Yeah, Mama, Buck's right, it's fine, we just-" Dinky began before she swooned and plopped back down on the couch. She landed in a position that looked anything but comfortable. Adagio wondered if the child had an aneurism, but then she looked at Buck and Ditzy. Ditzy Doo was giggling, while Buck was counting down on his fingers. When he hit "one", little Dinky began a snore that sounded like a small army of feral piglets. 
"And that's nap time for Dinky." Buck said. Buck scooped the girl in his arms and brought her into his bedroom, then came out, wiping off his face with a towel. He shut the door as quietly as he could with the squeaky hinges, then rolled his neck with a quiet pop. 

"Oh, Buck, you must be exhausted! Do you wanna massage?" Ditzy Doo said, verbally stabbing Adagio in the ribs. Ah, that's right. Ditzy Doo was Adagio's worst enemy today. She'd almost forgotten. 
"Nah, that's alright. I assume y'all are gonna need some help with all the groceries?" Buck said.
"Actually, uhm...we don't. Adagio has them." Ditzy Doo said. Buck's eyebrows flew up as he regarded Adagio. She smirked and flipped her hair. 
"What? You think a woman like me is afraid of a little footwork?" Adagio said, raising the heavy grocery bag on her quivering arm. She could feel Ditzy roll her eye. 
"Well shit, I dunno, ya might break a nail or somethin'. Or slip a disk. That looks like more than just stew fixin's. Didja get extra?" No, no wait, follow-up questions were Adagio's worst enemy. How could she forget? 
"Well, after looking at the ingredients list I decided to try it from scratch instead of-"
"Adagio read the ingredients list instead of the instructions on the cake mix box. Sound familiar?" Ditzy Doo said, the little rat. How dare she!?
"Oh my god, you did, didn't you!?" Buck covered his mouth and started wheezing. "That's amazing!" He guffawed. No no no...a chill ran up Adagio's spine as she turned her red face to Ditzy Doo. The woman had her arms crossed, a smug look on her face.
"Last year, Buck decided he wanted to make Dinky a birthday cake, but when he grabbed the box of mix, he also read the ingredients on the side instead of the instructions on the back...we had birthday cake for dessert for a while after that, which was fine with Dinky and not so fine with my diet." Ditzy said. She had the grace to not laugh in Adagio's face, but the very thought that she had to restrain herself made Adagio want to set the woman's hair on fire. 
Buck had tears in his eyes, but Adagio could taste the joy coming off him. "Hey, hey, in my defense I had a lot on my mind at the time! Oh my god I thought I was the only person in the world that could make that mistake! C'mere, you!" Buck wrapped his arms around Adagio's waist and lifted her up, laughing. Adagio dropped the bag of groceries. This was all wrong. Adagio Dazzle did not make mistakes, and she certainly did not make them in front of her potential minions and their chesty, co-dependent neighbors. 
"Wha-you...! Put me down! You still reek of sweat! And peanut butter! I didn't mess up, I just decided to challenge myself!" Adagio pouted. Buck set her down gently and put his hands on his hips.
"C'mon Adagio, I'm not that dumb. We all make mistakes." Buck said. Adagio's gaze wandered away from Buck's dumb handsome smile and over to Ditzy Doo, who was now walking to the kitchen with the grocery bag. She was seething again; it was an adorable and delicious hatred, like a burnt marshmallow. A treat. And so was Buck. His own affection for Adagio was growing intensely. He very obviously wanted to hold her again. "Hey, you remember what I said about imperfections a while back?"
"Oh, yes, let me try to remember...something about how if my ass was a teapot, it's crack would be filled with gold?" Adagio said, in a stage whisper. Another peak of rage from the jealous bitch putting things away in the kitchen. Exquisite.  
"Oh shit, I said that? That's a good one. But yeah, no need to be embarrassed! I'm not about to judge you on something like that, and neither is Ditzy." Buck said.
"Buck?"
"Yeah, 'dagio?"
"Come here, Buck." Adagio said. She waggled her finger at him in a come hither motion. 
"Hm?" Buck tilted his ear toward Adagio. She snatched him by the chin and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck. She tasted Buck's shock and lust mixed with the fury coming from the kitchen. It was like a sweet electrical burn on Adagio's tongue. Buck's fingers found their way to Adagio's hips and dug in as she licked his lips. Then, he lightly pushed her away, smiling apologetically. "Hey, hey now, chill out on that, okay? I've got a guest over." Buck whispered.
"So let her watch. I'm your guest too, am I not?" Adagio whispered in his ear. 
"Ooookay, okay, I think someone needs a cold shower." Buck said. He placed his hands on Adagio's shoulders and took a step back. Adagio pouted her lips and fluttered her eyelashes at him.
"Only if you join me, Buck..." She said. Adagio saw Buck bite his lip. She looked down and saw his stiffening cock shift in his pants as he took a few more steps back.
"Adagio, cool off. I mean it." He said, crossing his arms. Adagio smiled sweetly and winked at him.
"If you insist." She said. Adagio's gaze drifted briefly to the kitchen just in time to see Ditzy Doo look away. Pathetic. "Actually, I think I'd like to get a jump on dessert, if it's all the same to you. Angel Food Cake is best served with a slight chill, so letting it sit in the icebox before dinner would do it some good." Adagio said. 
"Oh, uh, sure thing. Lemme get out of your way!" Buck said.
"...icebox?" Ditzy Doo wondered. 
"Oh, no, Buck, you're fine. I'd like you to help me in the kitchen, actually." Adagio said. "It's Ditzy Doo that's in the way."
"What?" Ditzy Doo glared at Adagio.
"Why don't you go take a nap with your daughter while Buck and I get started, hm?" Adagio said. 
"Are you sure, Buck? I can-" Ditzy talked past Adagio.
"He's supervised, not to worry! I'll be watching him very closely." Adagio said, making a show of looking Buck up and down. 
"...It's cool, Ditzy. Go on and cuddle. Y'obviously deserve a break; I'll handle this." Buck said. Adagio saw Ditzy's concerned frown shift slightly to a small smile as she looked at Buck. 
"Alright, Buck." Ditzy said, and then she was gone. Adagio cleared her throat.
"Well then, Buck, would you kindly fetch me a wooden spoon? I have no clue where you keep things in this place. I think I saw a hand vacuum on the coat rack." Adagio said, pulling a mixing bowl from a cabinet after a moment's search. Buck wordlessly set a wooden spoon down next to her. "I think I'm going to start with the mix after all, then move on to baking it from scratch next time. No need to overcomplicate things..." Adagio said. Buck said nothing as she measured a cup of water. "Well, you're terribly chatty, all of a sudden." Adagio said. She turned and saw Buck's anger. It tasted like hot and sour soup. He was genuinely upset with her.
"Do you think I'm blind, or just stupid?" Buck said, in a low whisper.
"Excuse me?"
"Adagio, Ditzy Doo is obviously uncomfortable with all the sex stuff. I made that clear." Buck said. "So why're you all over me? What's your problem? Why you torturin' my neighbor?" Buck said.
"Me!? She started it! You should have heard the things she said to me out of your earshot.  She said that I'm arrogant."
"I mean..." Buck gestured broadly at Adagio.
"She said I was just another in a long line of 'mean girls' come to abuse you."
"She...she's trying to protect me, Adagio, you have to understand. I've made mistakes, I trusted girls that I shouldn't have, and did things I shouldn't have and I was hurt for it, and Ditzy was there...she's just tired of seeing me hurt." 
"And now you're making excuses for her. She's trying to make a rift between us!" Adagio whispered.
"Adagio, Ditzy ain't like that. It's 'cause you're new, and scary. That's all. If I explain things to her, she'll lay off." 
"Buck, do you honestly think I care what she thinks? You're underestimating her; she is going to come in here whenever I'm not around and poison our relationship. I know her kind." Adagio hissed.
"No, I'm gonna get her to apologize. I ain't about to sit here and let you two do this mean girls shit when you could be talkin' it over like adults. Ditzy is my friend, Adagio. She'll understand." 
"If you insist."
"And you're going to apologize too."
"For what, exactly?"
"For antagonizing her. You're gonna say you're sorry and we're going to talk about this, and everything'll be fine." 
"And if I refuse?" 
"I won't even touch your cake." Buck said, looking down his nose at her. Adagio blushed and crossed her arms and turned her back on Buck. Was that wordplay intentional? He wouldn't dare. 
"As if you could resist..." She mumbled. She poured the water and stirred the cake mix. She felt Buck's anger soften. And then she felt Buck's big meaty arms wrap around her from behind. Buck started rocking her side to side.
"I'm sorry she insulted you." Buck said, softly.
"She called me a parasite, Buck. She despises me."
"She's just scared for me. You have to admit, you're pretty intimidating sometimes...but you're right. I'm gonna have her apologize."
"I'm not trying to bring trouble into your home, Buck. We can just let this go." Adagio said. Her eyes were on the cake mix, but she sipped at the sweet, tender love that was beginning to swell around her. She hated that she couldn't stay mad at him.
"Hm. You're nothin' but trouble." Buck said, chuckling. "Didja know you're beautiful when you pout like this?"
"I'm not pouting." Adagio said. Her frown fought valiantly against the smile that was trying to emerge. 
"You have the cutest smile...and you're even laughing, now...!" Buck murmured.
"What are you talking about-" Buck blew a raspberry into Adagio's neck, forcing her to cackle mid-sentence.
"God, you have the evilest fucking laugh!" Buck chuckled.
"Stop that! You're acting like a clown!" Adagio giggled.
"Shh...and you're acting like a brat. What do I gotta do to get you to play nice?" Buck said. He kissed Adagio sweetly on the cheek. 
"Hmm...beg my forgiveness."
"For what!?"
"She kissed you."
"On the cheek!" 
"On your hands and knees. If you beg on your hands and knees, I think that will satisfy me." Adagio smirked.
"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't ya? Me on my hands and knees." Buck whispered. He kissed down Adagio's neck.
"It would be a good start~." Adagio said. Buck found the hickey he had left, and kissed it gently. Gave it a bit of a nibble. Adagio bit her lip. She felt warmed by a campfire, or a chocolate fondue fountain. 
That's right. He had missed her on his run.
"Okay, fine. I'll apologize." Buck said. He hadn't stopped swaying Adagio back and forth.
"Well...? I'm waiting, Mr. Purple Prose." Adagio said. She closed her eyes and smiled, triumphantly.
"Helloooo my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gaaaal~" Buck sang. It was low and private and silly.
"Oh, you bastard."
"Send me a kiss by wire. Baby, my heart's on fiiire!
If ya refuse me; honey you'll lose me
Then you'll be left alone.
Oh baby, telephone, and tell me I'm your own..."
Adagio twirled and lightly pushed Buck away by his chest. She put her hands on her hips and tapped her foot to a silent beat. 
"You call me on the telephone, you tell me that you're all alone
I knew that you were lying through your teeth-you dirty rascal!" Adagio sang.
"Oh boy." Buck said on beat. 
"How can you expect me to believe the lies you hand me?
You've been out with that blonde again, now do you understand me?
You broke my heart and made me cry with every phony alibi 
but I could see the lipstick on your shirt-you dirty polecat!
Telephone, and tell me I'm your own...!" Adagio sang. She huffed and posed dramatically with a hand on her forehead. Buck closed the distance with a step and caught Adagio with a hand on the small of her back. Adagio's smile won the battle as her own hand slid to Buck's shoulder. Their free hands linked and Buck danced her around the kitchen as he sang.
"Well, I'm sorry that I made you blue
It was a beastly thing to do
I never should've hurt you like I did
(with Lil the barmaid)
If you take me back again, I'll never ever wander.
'Cause when I did I found that absence made the heart grow fonder!
So cross my heart and hope to die, I'll never tell another lie
I'll mend your broken heart as good as new-my little cough drop.
Telephone and tell me I'm your own." They danced back and forth to the quiet melody. They hummed the last refrain together; Buck warm, round baritone complimenting Adagio's sweet, fluttering mezzo-soprano. They came to a stop with Adagio's back against the counter. Their foreheads were touching.
"There, now. Even if dinner ends up bein' a disaster, we'll have a nice memory of today." Buck said. 
"You are the corniest man I've ever met." Adagio said, her eyes half-lidded. Buck's hands wandered down to Adagio's ass, squeezing softly. Roaming. The campfire burst into bonfire. 
"Hmm...maybe. I'll stop being corny when you stop liking it." Buck said. He lifted Adagio roughly by the ass and planted her on the countertop. Now she was a bit taller than him. "Now, will you please promise me that you'll play nice with my neighbor?" Buck said, taking Adagio's hands in his.
"No. I'm still mad at you." Adagio huffed, looking away.
"No, you're not. You're mad that I made you smile." Buck said. He kissed the cheek Adagio had turned to him. Damn him. Reading me like a book! "Adagio, come on. You know the song; 'If you wanna be my lover, you gotta...?" Buck started.
"...be willing to swallow." Adagio said, grinning. 
"Oh my god. Friends. You gotta get with my friends, Adagio."
"I get along fine with your friends, Buck! Scootaloo wants me to use her face as a stool, and Sunburst agrees with me that Zoro is better than Sanji." 
"Y'all are crazy."
"And you are dodging the issue. That woman can come in here whenever she wants and disrupt us. I haven't had you alone all day." Adagio felt a haze of blazing heat wash over her. Buck was smirking. 
"Well...we're alone now." Buck said. His hands let go of Adagio's and instead reached around to grope at her ass. "If you just wanted attention, you could'a asked..." He squeezed and sunk his fingers in. 
"What...do you think I've been doing...since I got back...?" Adagio groaned as one of Buck's hands drifted up the small of her back. It slid under the hoodie and shirt covering her.
"Did you steal another one of my hoodies?" Buck said. He drew even closer, pressing his crotch against Adagios. She wrapped her legs around his waist. Adagio squirmed as Buck's other hand slipped under her top as well--this time in front. 
"I had to cover up some when I went out...mm...ah!"
"Because you refuse to wear a bra when you're at my place." Buck said. His thick fingers had found Adagio's left nipple. They were pinching and pulling. Adagio moaned softly. She leaned back, putting a steadying hand behind her, and lifted up the hoodie and shirt, letting her breasts slowly drop in front of Buck. A forest fire blazed behind his golden eyes. Adagio looked away as demurely as she could.
"They aren't as big as hers..." She whispered.
"I ain't lookin' at hers." Buck said. He took Adagio's free nipple into his mouth while his hand continued to play with the other. Adagio's hand stroked Buck's hair as he dug in. But of course, he'd be talented at this as well. Why was that even a question? Adagio's thighs squeezed around Buck's waist, her breaths growing short. Buck's tongue twirled around her nipple, while his fingers tugged and twisted the other one.  Adagio tried to stay in this blissful moment, but something caught in her head, and her thoughts kept drifting toward it. 
"I can feel your eyes on me from across the room-you can't fool me...You would never admit it, but you love having easy access to me when I'm here, Buck." Adagio said. Buck bit down gently on her nipple, suckling on it. "You dream about having your way with me all over your apartment. And that's silly, Buck. You can fuck me wherever you want. Why limit it to here?" She tried to push the thought away by riling Buck up. She was already hot and wet.
"Do you want me to fuck you on this kitchen counter?" Buck growled. Adagio's smile dropped.
"...do you think I'm a parasite?" Adagio said. Oh no. She could feel it. A genuine tear was pooling in the corner of her eye. Buck stopped immediately and searched her face. His lust puttered out in an instant. 
"No, Adagio, I don't." Buck said. He reached up to wipe away Adagio's tear, but she caught him by the wrist. 
"Look at me. Do you think I'm going to throw you away, Buck?" Adagio said. She saw Buck's lip quiver, then he turned away. 
"I think...that your cake mix is clumping up." Buck mumbled. He retreated to the mixing bowl in two steps and started to move the spoon. 
Adagio wanted to be furious. She wanted to shriek at him and tell him that she's not another bimbo come to wring him dry, but that was wrong, wasn't it? They were right about her. She wanted to use Buck. What was really the difference between Adagio and the other "mean girls"? 
Time. 
They had gotten bored with him or kicked him to the curb when he stood up to them, no doubt. But Adagio needed Buck for the long game. She did want to siphon him over time, but not for his attention or money or muscle. She needed his magic. Human lives were both horribly short and agonizingly long, in a way. Adagio wondered how many years she could squeeze out of Buck before he keeled over. How long before his love turned to fear? Adagio had to make this last; fear was delicious but never sustainable. And it seemed like Buck's love for her was bottomless, the over-emotional fool. Perhaps what Adagio really needed to do was pull a few pages from Buck's own book in order to keep him.
Adagio scooted off the counter. She stood behind Buck and placed a hand on his back. He shuddered for a moment, then seemed to relax.
"Buck...do you want me to leave?" Adagio asked.
"No. I-I want you to stay here, and be mean and needy and beautiful and wonderful." Buck said. Adagio wrapped her arms around Buck's waist and squeezed him. He tasted like a little drop of hope in a cold, salty ocean of despair.
"Do you want me, Buck?" Adagio said.
"Yes." Buck said.
"Then you shall have me, Buck." Adagio said.
"Will you please try to make good with Ditzy Doo?" Buck said. Adagio grimaced. Perhaps he knew how to play the game after all. 
"I'll do it for you, Buck." Adagio sighed.

Buck and Adagio worked on the cake together, and miraculously, the rest of the evening was peaceful. Buck didn't have a funnel pan, but he apparently knew a trick involving a glass of water that would make a regular deep pan work. His sister taught it to him, he said. Eventually, Ditzy Doo came yawning out of Buck's bedroom, and while Adagio thought in the back of her head that she'd have to roll around in Buck's sheets to erase the woman's stench, she stayed amicable toward Ditzy Doo. After a word with Buck, Ditzy apologized for what she said, and Adagio grumbled out something like an apology that Ditzy accepted. 
The stew came out good, if a bit over-seasoned. It was odd watching Buck stand around awkwardly, waiting for Ditzy to give him orders that mostly involved stirring or taste testing or getting something off a high shelf. Adagio didn't understand why he was so anxious about cooking food when he had consistently managed to make tarts that were slowly starting to get good.
The angel food cake came out fantastic. Adagio's eyes lit up when she tasted it and found that a bit of Buck's love had somehow been baked into it. This warranted an investigation, but later. Even Ditzy Doo seemed impressed with the cake.
Little Dinky stayed in Buck's room for the rest of the night. Ditzy explained that Dinky was just shy around new people, but Adagio knew the truth; she could taste the little girl's fear as she occasionally peaked out at the table. 
The evening went on in an agreeable fashion. Adagio could still taste Ditzy Doo's territorial feelings beneath her sweet facade, but she chose not to prod at it.
At the very least, Ditzy Doo would not be at Game Night.
Game Night would have its own complications.
> Chapter 12 - The Bard's Song (Blind Guardian)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was on Monday that Buck realized the following Game Night was going to be insane. It was an otherwise totally normal Monday closing shift at Sugar Cube Corner, which is to say, it was dead once noon rolled around. Not even Mrs. Cake worked the kitchen past noon on Mondays. After all the donut buyers in the morning, the only customers that would roll in on a Monday was the very occasional office worker not on a diet and cops, once in a while. 
The cop that came in today had snatched the donut out of Buck's hand and responded 'Have a good What!?' after Buck had wished him a good one.
Buck didn't like cops. The Cakes didn't like cops either, because cops didn't like Pinkie Pie, and they were about the only folks in Canterlot that didn't like Pinkie Pie. 
It was about 5 o'clock; one hour to pre-close and Buck was doing his human scarecrow thing when Scoots looked up from the cups she was tastefully stacking and had an epiphany.

"Buck, holy shit, you never answered my question you doof!" Scoots said, flashing a familiar grin.
Buck rolled his eyes; apparently they were going to have this fucking conversation today, then.
"How come you wanna know so bad, Scoots?"
"I-I dunno, I mean you're all smiles when she's around and-"
"That's 'cause she's fun to be around, Scoots."
"Well, what's the big deal? I'm just curious is all..."
"Alright, well, if you wanna know so bad then ask her. That's her own damn business, okay?" 
"Why are you so cagey about this stuff, Buck? Seriously, name me one other guy that wouldn't brag about-"
"Sunburst. Sunburst wouldn't."
"Okay, fair."
"Scoots...listen; 'dagio's been hiding out for a long-ass time, and she's already got a nasty reputation. I know for a fuckin' fact that you can't keep a secret, and if how she is during sex starts getting around, people're gonna talk. And then she'll only be known for two things; fuck shit and being a villain. D'ya really want that?"
"...no." 
"Alright. Then I'm beggin' you to leave it at that. She's more than a hot fuck, okay? We all are."
"Okay, Buck." 
An itchy, pregnant pause settled between the two co-workers. 
"Hey, do you think if we T-pose up here at the counter, people will be too intimidated to come in for the rest of the day?" Buck said, spreading his arms.
"That's the dumbest thing I've heard all week." Scoots said, mimicking the pose immediately. The tension was shaken apart as the two shook their heads, chuckling.
"And ya know, Adagio's actually really sweet under all the bluster. You've seen her choke up during Beauty and the Beast. She's got more layers than just scary and horny." 
*DING DONG*
Buck and Scoots' customer greeting came to a skidding stop as the clacking of Adagio's heels drowned out the 90th replay of "Coinky Dink World" for the day. She was off in a way Buck hadn't seen before. Her yellow skin was even paler than usual. Something about the way she was moving was slick and at the same time stuttering, like she was floating while only pretending that her feet touched the ground. She looked hungry, or maybe just a bit thinner. Adagio stood before the counter, her eyes drifting sluggishly from Scoots to Buck. For a nightmarish few seconds, Buck imagined Adagio's mouth opening far too wide, showing far too many rows of needle-like teeth. Instead, Adagio tilted her head slowly...and then spread her arms out in a T-pose just like Buck and Scoots were doing. 
Buck's held breath exploded into a guffaw as Adagio stood before the counter, arms outstretched, whereas whatever Scoots was going to say next was thrown through the windshield as she crashed to the floor in hysterical laughter. 
Buck caught himself wiping a tear from his eye, stifling his giggles as he saw the sheer cold menace on Adagio's face.
"...I thought you were doing some kind of bizarre human greeting ritual." Adagio said through clenched teeth. Her voice had a slight echo to it, Buck noticed. When she tilted her head, her curly orange hair took a while catching up, floating slightly around her skull as if she were underwater.	
"No, no, it's just a dumb fad, babe, holy shit, that's the funniest thing I've seen all month." Buck failed to catch his wheezing as Adagio glared at him.
"A fad? A fad. Smiling in photographs was a fad! Wearing underwear was a fad--wearing hat pins was a fad! I miss hat pins...they were perfect for a modern lady on the go. They were also perfect for stabbing aggressive men in the street. Or obnoxious onlookers..." Adagio growled, slowly turning her gaze on Scootaloo. Buck had never seen Scoots move that fast outside of the track. She was on her feet in an instant, over at the espresso machine.
"How're you doing that thing with your hair...?" Buck said. Adagio slapped a wad of crumpled up stripper bills on the counter. 
"Tart. Espresso. Sixteen ounce cup."
"Uh, how many shots...?" Scoots said, sheepishly, cup in her hand
"Put the cup under the spout. I'll tell you when." Adagio growled, standing behind Scoots. Buck counted the cash as the machine sputtered and whirred. 
Scoots glanced back at Adagio, then turned her head quickly as the grinds were tamped.
A shot was poured. 
Then a reload, and another. 
Another. 
Another. 
Another.
Buck counted the seconds. He could imagine the cold sweat running down Scoot's brow. He could see an equally cold grin touch the corner of Adagio's eye from the back. He dared not let his gaze drift down Adagio's back; she might get offended. Or take it as an invitation. 
"When." Adagio said. "And a bit of foam on top. And two pumps of vanilla, there's a good girl..." 
"I uh, I got your tart over here." Buck said. Adagio spun on her heels with her cup of searing hot caffeine, took the tart in one hand, then maintained eye contact with Buck as she downed the entire abominable latte in one drag. She took her time with it. Buck watched, wide-eyed as a bit of black dripped slowly down her chin. "Hooooly shiiiit." He whispered. 
Adagio licked her lips, then gave Buck that shark's grin of hers. She shivered and leaned toward Buck over the counter. She hadn't blinked yet. 
"Buck...would you mind giving momma just a little bit of sugar?" Adagio said. Her dulled magenta eyes were shaking. 
"Uhh...oof. Rough day, huh?" Buck said. Adagio gave a slow, and deliberate nod. Her orange mane glowed in the fluorescent lights, floating about her head like a halo. A terrible beauty, like a statue of medusa.
Buck looked over his shoulder. He knew that Mrs. Cake wasn't in, but he looked anyway almost on instinct. Instead of his boss, he saw Scoots duck her head behind the kitchen nook. Buck smiled, and came around the counter, holding his arms out to Adagio. 
"C'mere, babe."
Buck was expecting a pounce, but instead, Adagio wrung her hands together and crept toward him like a self-conscious kitten. Then she wrapped her arms around him, lightly scratching his back with her nails. She took in a shuddering breath at his chest, and Buck saw her hair seem to deflate and begin adhering to gravity again. 
"Hey...I'm up here." Buck whispered. Adagio looked up, and Buck saw her parched expression. Her face looked a little gaunt. She closed her eyes and puckered her lips. She tasted like coffee and vanilla. For a wonderful eternity of a few seconds, Adagio kissed Buck, clinging to him. His hand trailed through her hair and she pressed herself against him. Buck peeked at her and saw her eyes closed as she savored him. He couldn't believe she could be so gentle. But it didn't last. 
Her nails dug in, and her tongue found his, and soon Buck found himself with his back to the counter, and Adagio's thumb in his waistband. Buck saw a little blinker of green light on the edges of his vision.
"Babe, babe, babe, babe! Hey!" Buck said, grabbing Adagio's hands. Even with his head turned away, Adagio began nibbling at his clavicle, giving off a shrill giggle as he pried her off. "Alright, alright, heel!" Buck grabbed Adagio's shoulders and roughly pushed her back. 
Adagio blinked, and looked at him. A look of fleeting remorse crossed her face, followed immediately by a waving, bowing sort of grin. Adagio seemed like the type of girl that heard applause when she entered a room.
She was back. Buck gave her a bashful smile. 
"Not at work, okay? Man, they must've put you through the wringer today." 
"I...ughhhhh...!" Adagio groaned. Yeah, she was back. She pushed away from Buck, plopped down at her usual table and started picking at her tart in the manner of an especially dainty seagull. "You would not believe what they're making me do over there!" Adagio squawked.
"Uh, Excel spreadsheets?"
"YES! But it's not just that, Buck. There's a new hire on the floor. One that outranks me. A haughty, rusty rake of a woman named Harshwhinny. She's done nothing but harsh my mellow for the last three days. I've been wading through chest-high stacks of paperwork with no end in sight! Half of those sheets were from a completely different branch!"
"Was that 70's slang? ...And a pun?" Buck said. Adagio stuffed the rest of the tart in her mouth and crossed her arms. "Okay, so you've got a new shit boss, and that's on top of the shit boss you already had, so work is like a shit sandwich right now." Buck said. "There anything you can do about it?" 
"I could quit." Adagio said, flatly. 
"I mean, sure? Why'd you take that job anyway? I've seen your place; you're obviously loaded already." 
"Sometimes, Buck, it's nice to have some spending money that doesn't come out of your savings. You wouldn't understand." Adagio said, laying her head on the table. She smiled as the cool metal touched her cheek.
"Yeah, no, I really wouldn't. I'm livin' just enough for the city over here." Buck said. Adagio didn't look up.
"You should get a little nest egg on the side, Buck. The bohemian life doesn't suit you." Adagio said.
"Pfft. Sounds like the kinda thing rich people like to say at cocktail parties. Let me just wave a wand and get myself a trust fund." Buck said. He wiggled his fingers and made a fart noise. "Oops! Looks like all I got is student debt!" 
"You're adorable when you bitch like that, Buck..." Adagio hummed. Buck thought for a second to say something untoward, but in that moment Adagio's eye flicked open and managed to stare him down single-handed.
"You need anything else?" Buck said, back behind the counter. 
"A cool bath and a glass of champagne...but no, no, I'm quite content right here, thank you..." Adagio yawned. Buck believed that she could have fallen asleep right there, but then her phone buzzed. Adagio groaned and sat up. "And there's the end of my brief break. Back to the trenches with me." She said. 
"Ah well, it was good seeing you, 'dagio. You want one for the road?" Buck said. His arms were half open by the time Adagio got behind the counter to squeeze him. She felt warmer now. 
"And Scootaloo, darling?" Adagio raised her voice. 
"...yes ma'am?" Scootaloo squeaked from some corner of the kitchen.
"Thank you for the coffee. And keep Buck warm for me until tomorrow night, would you?" Adagio said. Buck, as usual, watched her leave with rapt attention. 
"...oh shit that's right! She's playing with us, isn't she?"
"Yeah, Scoots. You know, for someone who's 'just curious' about Adagio, you sure do fucking run with your arms flailing when she enters the room." Buck said, dodging a punch to the shoulder. Scoots slumped over the counter in a way that looked uncomfortable; the kind of lounging you tend to get from cats in a tree. 
"I don't get how you manage her. She's like...like a lot, man." Scoots said. Buck leaned over the counter next to her, his head supported by his hands. He sighed. 
"She is a lot, yeah. And I don't 'manage' shit. She pretty much does as she pleases. She just needs hugs and an open ear and some big sloppy kisses from time to time, just like a lot of folks. We're about the same in that way, but she needs it to live." Buck said. He was staring at the construction site across the street. A whole-ass tent and a chain link fence to cover up a big fuck-off hole that stretched from the middle of the street to the edge of Center Park. 
"Man, I could use some big sloppy kisses..." Scoots mused, distantly.
It was a shame. The bench that had been there was special to Buck. Well, it was now, anyway. He probably should've kissed Adagio when she opened up, then. He wanted to kiss her again right now. He could still taste a bit of the espresso from her lips. Bitter.
"Buck? Hey, earth to Buck? You in there?" Scoots was lightly kicking him with the side of her heel. 
"Huh? Oh, uh, sorry Scoots. I was zonin' out there, I guess." Buck said. "Did you, uh...did you want some big sloppy kisses? Is that why you're all bummed out?" Scoots sighed and scratched her head. She rolled over on the counter and stared at the ceiling.
"I mean, yeah, sure, but that's not it. I just...I dunno, it's gonna sound stupid."
"Oh, mercy me, listenin' to Scoots say something stupid at work? Geez, is it Monday already? Oh look, it sure fucking is!" Buck said. He failed to dodge Scoot's elbow to his ribs, but that didn't stop him from laughing. "Alright, alright, no hitting! Look, what I'm sayin' is, nobody is about to come in here, so you might as well spill, Scoots. Go on. I'm listenin'." Scoots turned her head to Buck then, and he noticed, maybe for the first time that her eyes were a sort of royal purple color. Buck's favorite. Huh. She had a mole under her right eye. She had an imploring look in her eyes.
"You mean it?" She asked. Her humor had run off somewhere.
"Always, Scoots. Fess up." Buck said. 
"...I'm bored! Sweetie is on tour and Applebloom is down at Appleloosa Tech doing whatever the heck undergrads do, and I'm here just..."
"Shattering school sprinting records?" Buck offered.
"Running around in circles." Scoots groaned. 
"You miss your squad. I get that. I felt the same way when the Rainbooms split up, even though I wasn't really-"
"I miss going on adventures! I miss getting lost with them and having to find the way back! I miss...I miss the hugs and the fun and the weirdness of it all! I miss trying new things. You and Sunburst are like my only friends, now." Scoots said, gesturing broadly at the ceiling.
"...I hate to say this, but why don'cha get Dash on the line? Call her and see if she'll come and visit?" Buck saw Scoot's face turn sour.
"She's too busy doing 'olympian stuff' to pick up and...man, I'm pretty over the whole Rainbow Dash fan club thing."
"...okay, well what about family?" Scoots' uneasy silence was all Buck needed to hear. He'd made that silence before, though maybe not as intensely. "Well...you know, me and Sunburst go grocery shopping on Wednesday, and we usually hang out after. if you want, you're more'n welcome to come along and just chill out." 
"...Really?"
"Sure, Scoots! You know we like hangin' out with you. I wish you would'a said somethin' sooner. Would could go hiking, or hit the beach or some shit. You know, when we've got the money for it."
"Well, that sounds kinda nice, but it's still...I dunno. You're lucky, Buck! Adagio is all over you and she's weird and scary and fun! I'm over here just training and working and working and training going in circles and circles and circles. It makes me feel boring, you know?"
"'kay, well, what it sounds like is you're burnt out, and you're in a rut and you need a shake up. It's funny, my life has gotten real complicated all of a sudden because of Adagio. In a way I'm glad for this job because there's structure to it. Keeps me at least a little sane, you know?"
"I just wanna get weird again! You know?" Scoots voice seemed to be shrinking a little. "I just...I just wanna feel needed again. You gotta understand what that's like, right...?" Scoots said. She had turned away. Buck stood, then, and saw how small Scoots really was. She was all curled up.
"Yeah...yeah, I really do, Scoots. I get it. You know what I think you need right now?" Buck said.
"What?"
"A hug. And you're in luck, 'cause I give real good ones. Bring it in, lil' sis. Right here." Buck said. For the third time that day, he held his arms out. Scoots sat up, looked excited for just a moment, then looked away, almost demurely. 
"Are you sure? I know this's sappy stuff, and...you know, I don't wanna make you feel weird."
"Scoots, it's fine. I won't be weird about it, I promise." Buck said. He smiled at Scoots and saw the second guesses cross her mind and fly away. She leapt up into his arms and wrapped her legs around him and squeezed him like a saibaman. She had a strong grip for such a small woman. She was light as a feather, smaller even then Adagio. Buck supported her meager weight and hugged her right back. He could feel a very slight moistness on his shoulder, and it hit Buck that this wasn't all that different from when he had hugged Adagio. Scoots wasn't trying to get him out of his pants, of course, but she clung to him like she had been touched starved; probably because she was. 
It felt like Scoots had been squeezing him for minutes at a time when she finally spoke up again.
"...Is this weird? This is weird, isn't it?" She mumbled.
"No Scoots, it's not weird. I've got you, okay? You're not alone on this one." Buck said. Scoots let out a deep breath.
"Okay...wow...wow, you were right. You do give good hugs."
"Yeah, see? I'm also good for head scritches. This hug is on the house, by the way." Buck said. Scoots pulled her head from his shoulder and frowned at him incredulously.
"What, you're going to charge me for hugs, now, cheapskate!?" Scoots laughed.
"Naw, I only charge for tongue." Buck laughed.
"Well, I do feel better. Man, Buck, I don't get why people talk about you like that. You're actually a really nice guy." Scoots said. Her smile had come back, and she hadn't let go. Her arms were around Buck's neck.
"Hey now, I'm a 'Good guy'. Not a nice guy. There's a difference." Buck smirked. "What...what are they sayin' about me now?" Buck said. Scoots looked away, then. 

*DING DONG*

"Oh, Buck? I wanted to ask if you wanted to do that 'character generation' thing tonight or tomorrow before the game. I also wanted a nice tall glass of cider, if it's not-oh. Well. Well, well, well, what have we here~?" Adagio said. She had been digging in her purse, presumably for more cash, as she came back into Sugar Cube Corner. But then, she looked up and saw Scootaloo, her fingers laced behind Buck's neck, her legs around his waist, with Buck holding her up. Buck felt his blood run cold.
"Uhhhhh....this ain't what it looks like?" Buck said. He wondered if he got a running start, could he charge past Adagio and leap into the sinkhole across the street. The fact that he couldn't tell if Adagio was amused or enraged terrified him more than anything. Scoot's face was close to his, and he could see her pupils dilating. At least the two of them would be terrified together.
"And what exactly does it look like to you, Buck? Because to me, it looks like you're about to impale that poor little creature on your cock and then vigorously practice your squats." Adagio said. She was smiling. Was that good, or bad? He had seen that smile when she was chasing him around the hotel. Bad. It was bad. 
"Uh...it, uh...look, Scoots is feeling down, so I wanted to give her some hugs, you know? Just a little bit of sugar, like...like with you, babe!" Buck stammered. He could feel Scoot's legs shaking around him. 
Adagio was once more leaning over the counter. Her smile was turning as sharp as the look in her eyes. 
"Oh? Like with me, you said? So, you've tasted her tongue, then? Am I interrupting your Monday routine, Buck? Or is this a brand new rendezvous?" Adagio said with wicked glee. Properly entering panic mode now, Buck leaned on a mantra he had developed back in high school. It had literally never worked even once, but it was always worth a try. Don't get a boner...don't get a boner...
"No, no, no tongue here, not even a little kissing, just normal, platonic huggin'!" Buck said. He couldn't seem to look away from Adagio's gaze, which was looking more and more like a dagger extending from behind a magenta curtain. "Look, Scoots is feeling lonely, so I was offering--"
"Offering to bend this sweet little birdie over the counter and make her sing, Buck?" Adagio slapped her hand on the counter. She leaned even closer. "It's funny, Buck, I knew that you were good at filling holes, but I had no clue you were so talented at digging them." Adagio said. 
"No, well, that's not--Scoots help me out here!" Buck said, looking to Scoots. Buck was stricken with a jolt of terror as he saw that Scoot's own horrified visage had shifted. Instead of looking scared, Scoot's face had curled into that classic grin that means in no uncertain terms that she was about to make everything worse. 
Scootaloo pulled Buck's face into her chest and put the back of her hand to her forehead in a fashion that was probably dramatic back when films were black and white and men dressed like Mr. Peanut. Buck noticed, not for the first time that Scoot's breasts were very small and very cute at about the same time he felt her thighs squeeze him.
"Oh no, Buck, your crazy girlfriend has found out about our affair! Whatever will we dooooo~?" Scoots proclaimed to a studio audience made up exclusively of herself. She shimmied slightly to keep her balance, then looked down at Buck with a shocked grin. "Dude, do you seriously have a boner right now?" It was at that point that Buck unceremoniously dropped Scootaloo to the floor. Her stack of cups on the counter collapsed like a house of cards. "Ow, hey!" 
Buck held up a finger to Scoots, and placed his hand onto his forehead. He could feel the heat in his face. Through his fingers, he could see that Adagio's shark grin had been replaced with a more cattish one. It was no less predatory, but the slightest bit cuter. 
"Adagio, babe, there ain't no funny business going on, I promise. And I'm more'n happy to come over to your place tonight and help you with chargen. Shouldn't take long, since you're good at math an' all." Buck said. He didn't want to smile, now, especially not with a boner in his place of work, but Adagio was making it hard.	
"Ooh? Asking me out for the evening now, Buck? Wouldn't you rather have your precious little ingénue~?" Adagio sang. She had crossed her arms under her breasts now, and was displaying a cocky quirk of the hip.
"Uh-oh, look out Scoots, she's quoting Phantom at us, we're in it now!" Buck laughed, helping Scootaloo up. He saw her eyes slip down him for just a second as he hauled her to her feet. "She's just jokin' around, it's cool Scoots." Buck said.
"Uh, what's an...uh, ahn-gen-new?" Scootaloo said.
"A disgustingly innocent and often virginal maiden, typically used as a stock character in plays." Adagio rattled off, striding around the counter. "Sound familiar, little girl?"
"I'm 25, you old hag." Scoots spat. Oh shit. Buck thought. 
"What? I thought you were in your earlies?"
"Buck, I was a Sophomore when you were a Senior! Come on, man, I'm not a baby!"  Scootaloo said. Now it was her turn to cross her arms.
"Well, Buck, frankly I couldn't care less if you decided to break this little bitch. We've already set our rules, haven't we?" Adagio said, getting over her shock. She strode and talked past Scootaloo, lightly trailing a finger in her hair as she passed. Scootaloo shivered and briefly seemed to forget her offense.
"That...that we have, Adagio. So you're not feeling threatened then; you just like watchin' me squirm, don't you?" Buck said. Adagio beckoned him with a finger, and when he leaned down, she began lightly tracing his collarbone. 
"Oh gods yes. Your fear is almost as delicious as your affection, Buck~" Adagio said. Then she yanked Buck's collar down and began nibbling and suckling on his collarbone. Her hands roamed to grab Buck's ass and pull him against her. Fuck, her grip was strong, Buck thought as he tried not to moan in front of Scootaloo. He failed.
"Nnngh...mm...babe...hey...c'mon, cut it...ahh!" Buck moaned, and as he finished his protest, Adagio's lips pulled off his collarbone with a little pop. She caressed the hicky she had just left and cupped Buck's chin with her fingers.
"You know well enough that I'm a peerless lover, and it's obvious that this little pixie wouldn't have the slightest idea of what to do with...all of this." Adagio's other hand trailed around the bulge in Buck's pants. "So no, I'm not in anyway feeling threatened. We aren't 'really dating', after all." Adagio said. 
"Ohh man, she's got you whipped! That's just--hey wait, whaddya mean I wouldn't know what to do with him!? Buck's a big ol' creampuff; I can take him!" Scoots said, hooking a thumb at herself. Shit shit shit shit, Buck thought as Adagio's sweet and mocking smile turned murderous. As Adagio turned toward Scoots, Buck could see her hair starting to float and flow as if it were underwater again. Buck was certain that Adagio was making her voice echo on purpose.
"Was that a challenge, little birdie?" Hissed the Something that looked like Adagio. Buck skidded around and stood in front of the now freshly horrified Scootaloo.
"Nope, no it wasn't, absofuckinglutely not! I am vetoing this whole-ass conversation, you stop teasing Scootaloo and you stop encouraging Adagio!" Buck said, pointing. "We are not repeating yesterday!"
"Uh, what happened yesterday?" Scoots said.
"Nothing." Buck and Adagio said in unison. Buck saw that she was looking normal once again.
"Doesn't sound like nothing." Scoots huffed. 
"Both of y'all can save your bickerin' for the table! 'dagio, do you want me to come over for chargen or not?"
"Hmph. Do as you please, Buck." Adagio said, looking away. Her hair slapped Buck in the face a little. Was that new conditioner? Buck pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Ooooohmygoood this is my life now..." He lamented under his breath. "I'm coming over tonight and we're going to set it up. Okay?"
"If you insist." Adagio said, over her shoulder.
"Can I come?" Scoots squeaked.
"Can you--wait, why? You already have Chillwing, who I know you're gonna play."
"No, I mean, can I just, sorta hang out with you guys?" Scootaloo said, hands behind her back. Buck looked at Adagio, who was looking at Scootaloo like a child seeing a kitten for the first time. Both of her hands were on her cheeks. That look seemed like every kind of trouble imaginable. 
"I uhh...look, Scoots, it's gonna be just character stuff, and you'll probably get bored." 
"Oh. Okay." Scoots said.
"And Buck is going to carry me around the apartment and call me 'Princess.'" Adagio said, halfway to the door.
"'scuse me?" Buck said.
"I demand it." Adagio said.
"Ah." Buck said.
"No, I get it, you guys want to be alone. Don't sweat it." Scootaloo murmured. She grabbed a broom and started knocking around the cups that were now on the floor. Buck wanted to say something, but then he saw Adagio open the door, then look at him over her shoulder and mouth out the words; "I like her." 
It was at that precise moment that Buck understood that Game Night was going to be a shake up. A small part of himself that he had hated before Adagio came into his life made him smile. He also realized that he was standing in the middle of his workplace with a boner. 





One evening, one morning and a lot of talking and basic math later, Buck and Adagio stood before Sunburst's suite. 
"Can you promise me that you'll be on your best behavior tonight?" Buck said. His hand had touched the knob to Sunbursts' suite, but then he had frozen over and turned to Adagio with a severe look.
"And what exactly would my 'best behavior' entail, Buck?" Adagio said. Buck had to think about dirty deeds by degrees. Adagio's smile was distracting him, as was her trailing finger on his arm.
"...well, no fighting with Starlight Glimmer, for one. You know she's lookin' for an excuse to swing on ya, so don't give it to her." The both of them were wearing their Saturday night outfits, which were basically pyjamas. Adagio had uncharacteristically elected to wear a bra to this event, perhaps mostly for the sake of Buck's own focus at the table more than modesty.
"What if I insult her hair, instead?" Adagio tried.
"No. That's a bad. No sniping. If you feel like you gotta clap at her, just be nice, alright?" Buck said.
"Nice? I'd rather say nothing at all to her."
"That's fine. And could you lay off Scoots? She's kinda goin' through it right now." 
"As long as she doesn't try to snatch you away from me, Buck."
"Adagio, come on, you know she isn't like that."
"So you say, Buck. She seems to have taken an interest in us. It would be foolish of me to ignore her completely." 
"Just...just don't bitch at her, okay?"
"Agreed. Now, is there anything else?" 
"Yeah. I wanted to thank you for coming out with me tonight. You didn't have to, and I promise we'll do your thing at the end of the week, okay?" Buck said. His hands were on Adagio's hips as he tenderly kissed her forehead. "I know tabletop games can be real weird to do for first-timers." He said.
"Oh, just try and stop me, Buck." Adagio was about to claim a ravenous kiss from Buck, but as she cupped his chin, the door clicked open.
"Oh, it's you two. Do you actually have to talk right outside the door? Again?" Starlight Glimmer said. She was wearing a set of simple blue pyjama pants, a black top with little constellations on it, and the same dark purple beanie that Buck had seen before. Her bangs were up in rollers.
"Hey Glimglam, nice seein' ya." Buck offered. 
"Yes, it's good to see you finally putting some effort into your hair. I'm sure it will look divine after a few day's beauty sleep." Adagio said. She pushed past Starlight with little effort. She pulled Buck along by the hand, who whispered urgently in her ear.
"Babe. C'mon." Buck said, squeezing her hand. Adagio rolled her eyes. 
"That is to say, even for pyjamas, that little starry top is adorable. The motif suits you very well, Starlight." Adagio said with a smile that mimicked jocularity quite well. Starlight's eyebrows flew up at that. then she squinted. 
"Yes, well, uhm, thank you. I hope your...whatever this is tonight, goes well." Starlight said.
"Oh yes, the game is sure to be a ton of fun. Will you be joining us?" Adagio said.
"Nah, Glimglam just sorta hangs out while we do our thing." Buck said.
"Ah. Well then, I wish you luck with your slothful lounging, tonight! You deserve some rest. You look...tired." Adagio said.
"...right. And good luck with your riveting night of yelling at pieces of plastic!" Starlight said, with a fake laugh. 
"Oh, I don't need luck. But I'll wish you some anyway. I sincerely hope that you find whatever you're looking for when you glare at my back." Adagio said.
"Babe." Buck said.
"Yeah? Well I hope you have a wonderful night." Starlight seethed. She took a step toward Adagio.
"And I hope your week goes swimmingly!" Adagio sneered. 
"And I wish you the best in all of your evil little endeavors this year. Slut." Starlight growled. 
"Starlight..." Sunburst warned, from the table. 
"Yes, and I hope that you manage to finally fit the bags under your eyes into the trunk of your car, Bitch." Adagio smiled.
"Alright, alright, break it up!" Buck said. He took Adagio by the waist and guided her swiftly to the table, where the other players were waiting.





"So I says to him I says; Beholder!? I'm looking right at her, and she's barely a five! So anyways it starts shootin' disintegration beams and--WOAH! Check it out!" 
It had been three weeks. That was way too damned long to be lost in a dank-ass place like this. Three weeks of sore feet and sore-rer fingers. He had bandages on his fingers, actually, and blisters under those, and that hadn't really slowed him down. No, what slowed Dangle down was the fact that he was running out of jokes. It was only a matter of time before it would be just him, his steel guitar and a little notebook with "Truly Heinous Yo Mama Jokes" on the front, and then where would he be? A party like this couldn't be kept alive with Vicious Mockery alone. 
That still wasn't the worst part about being stuck in here. The worst part was that he, Dangle, bard among bards, he of the firm yet tender fingers, had already forgotten the name of that cute barmaid that had been jiggling and stomping her way around the tavern before they headed off. Minotaurs had to have spines of stone to carry a rack like that, he reasoned. Where was he? Right. The chamber.
Before Dangle's eyes stretched a massive antechamber of stone, it's vaulted ceiling rising out of sight. Between the black void above and where Dangle stood were floating polyps of light that bathed the chamber in a dim, unearthly glow.
"Pyreflies, do you think?" Came a gruff voice to his right.
"Maybe Parasprites?" Came a high voice to his left.
"Doubt it. There's greenery in here; wouldn't be if they were Parasprites. Wouldn't be anything alive." The gruff voice said. He was right. There were leafy vines crawling up the walls, likely all the way up to sunlight, and much thicker ones leading down into the waters ahead of them. An underground lake.
"Chillwing, you hear any running water?" Dangle asked. To him, there was nothing but the dripping of the stalactites and his own voice. Somewhere far away, a bit of plastic hit a table. 
Dangle looked to his left. Beside him hovered his truest partner in crime. 
She was a Batpony, barely legal by Dangle's standards, but beautiful nonetheless. Her fur was such an abyssal midnight blue that it was nearly black, whereas her mane was blue, yellow, cyan and pink, like a reverse rainbow. Her hood had been pulled down for much of this lengthy expedition, and so her big fluffy ears twitched back and forth as she searched for sound. Dangling from her hips was a belt full of vicious stiletto knives, and below that on her tight flank was her cutie mark; an open eye above a cloak and dagger. To Dangle, that mark signaled that Chillwing was the best at something that was especially unpleasant, provocative and expensive. 
So far, Chillwing had lived up to that mark. Never once had she failed to impress, nor get their little motley crew into heaps of trouble, often over loot.
"Yeah...this isn't a lake. It's a spring. The water is fresh, and it's coming from somewhere and goin' to somewhere else. Could be a way out?" The petite Batpony said. Her small, sturdy wings ceased their flapping and she landed soundlessly on the ground, her slitted ruby eye looking to and fro for any aggressors. Or perhaps coin. The other eye was long gone, with nothing but a crisscrossed scar to denote it's passing.
"We're not looking for a way out; we're looking for some kind of artifact. This room is already useless--let's double back round and find another. We need to keep moving." Gruffed the gravely voice to Dangle's right. 
Hillbreaker was, by Dangle's estimate, a total tool, but by a fortuitous quirk of fate, the grizzled, plate mailed Earth Pony happened to be something of a multipurpose maul. He knew how to swing one, as well. 
His muscles looked as if they were hewn of stone, likely because as Dangle understood, they partway were. Some slate furred variant of Earth Pony from a far off mountainous region, or an out of print splat book. He was sturdy and tough, and his name spoke of his monumentous strength. On his back he carried an arsenal of melee unpleasantries designed to pierce, slash, rake and crush everything in his path. On his flank was a cutie mark that showed a pickaxe shattering a boulder. 
"Or at least let me get down there to see how useless this room is and get it over with."
The stallion was hell-bent on completing the party's mission, even if it meant sinking to his death in an underground spring. A dark part of Dangle would be content with that; at the very least he couldn't hear him grumbling under the water. Then again, he wasn't even sure if Hillbreaker could drown. Dangle was certain, however, that it would be a few day's work just trying to haul his silly ass out of there. Probably just make the big lug complain some more. 
"Speak for yourself, man. My hooves have never been more sore." Chillwing whined, sitting on the craggy floor.
"That's because you didn't go for the iron horseshoes in town like I told you to. You can't fly forever in a place like this." Hillbreaker grumbled. 
"Well, while we're here, we might as well see if we can't make some kind of progress. Chillwing, are there any structures down there? The water is too murky for me to see past the surface." Dangle said. He covered his ears and braced himself just in time for Chillwing to unleash a ghastly shriek that reverberated through the chamber and Dangle's bones. Through his wincing gaze he saw Chillwing lift an ear to follow the echo, eye closed in concentration. 
"...there's like a whole uh...like a pyramid but sorta blocky, down there." Chillwing said, once the ringing stopped. 
"You mean a ziggurat, hun?" Dangle said.
"If you say so!" Chillwing said, shrugging. 
"Doesn't matter what it is if we can't reach it." Hillbreaker said. 
"Aw, don't be such a pessimist, Hillby!" Dangle said.
"Are you ever going to stop calling me that?"
"It's either that or your real name." Dangle said. 
Two men across a table from each other argued briefly about canon, and neither won save for the one that was smiling.
"This is the first source of clean-uh-cleanish water that we've found in this horrible place! At the very least we can boil some up and fill our water skins! Besides, this place smells a bit like magic. I'm sure if we put our heads together, we can find some way down there! Could even be treasure in it for us if we look hard enough." Dangle said, with a smirk. 
Dangle heard Chillwing's hooves rapidly tapping on the stony floor; it was a little quirk of hers that came out whenever there was loot on the table. 
"I'm in! I'm in!" Chillwing said.
"Right, well, it sounds like the 'yays' outweigh the 'neighs.'" Dangle said, to the groans of both his compatriots. "Let's have a look." Dangle peered into the water before him. He was struck, as he was every morning, by the beauty of his own reflection. He was an akita breed diamond dog, or should he say a diamond in the rough, because he had been blessed by looks that turned heads in every town he visited. His fluffy fur was light pink at the belly, legs and face with a red streak down the side, while on top it was cream colored. A shock of white mane adorned his head, giving him the appearance of an especially handsome strawberry shortcake. He wore a black dandy's vest with pink pinstripes, his ears and tail were always brushed to perfection and he carried a polished steel guitar that served as his spell focus.
At this very moment, after prevailing mightily against his own vanity, Dangle readied his guitar and plucked a few strings to get his mojo working. His emerald eyes glowed for a moment as he reached out to feel the magic in this room. There was magic in the lights above...magic in the vines...a great deal of magic emanating from the ziggurat, and something else. Something powerful and close by. 
Dangle shrunk back from the spring, taking a defensive stance. 
"Hey kiddies, ready yourselves to get wet and wild, because something's coming!" He said. Chillwing immediately took to the air; ready to let daggers fly, while Hillbreaker drew his pike into his teeth. Dangle, as always, was prepared to support, his fingers strumming in a manner he thought was menacing. 
The spring water rippled and bubbled for a moment, then a splash burst from the surface, scattering glittering droplets all over. The form of the figure that landed before the party glowed so brightly that it was hard to make out. Well. Dangle could tell immediately that it was female. He had a sixth sense about these things. 
There were long fins and a trailing fish fin that retracted into an elegant horses' tail which was no less long and magnificent. The dazzling light show dissipated as back fins spread into a pair of feathery wings, front fins morphed into the talons of a bird and an equestrian head was taken over by a small, sharp beak. 
The face of the stacked minotaur barmaid took a dive off a cliff in Dangle's mind as the creature before him shook the water from her voluminous purple mane. Her fur was a bright green, speckled like a thrush with purple spots. Her eyes were a piercing orange color, and around her neck was a choker bedecked with pearls and sea glass. This majestic creature, somewhere between a betta fish and a griffon, spoke with a voice that sounded like the lead-up to a musical number.
"Finally, some travelers who look to have true mettle! Tell me, adventurers, will you hear of my plight?" 
"A hippogriff, really?" Hillbreaker said. 
"How do you know that?" Buck said. 

"I said how do you know that? What's that piece of paper you got in your hand, is that the script?" Buck said in a dry and mumbling voice. 
Adagio didn't understand it, but she was absolutely certain this was a reference to something she simply didn't know about. Buck did that a lot. What he didn't do much of was argue, and yet, here he was. 
The man sitting across from him folded his arms and scowled. He was a paunchy thing, not entirely unlike Buck, but in the opposite direction. Whereas Buck was all barrel chest, Quibble Pants was more...gut. He had an orangey-brownish skin tone and black hair with what Adagio assumed was natural streaks of grey in a bit of a gradient. Stress, perhaps? He was wearing what Buck had explained to be a "Warhammer 40k" t-shirt. This was in apparent contrast to Buck's "Adventure Zone" shirt. The fact that they were wearing these shirts was "all anybody needed to know about their tastes" according to Buck. He had then elaborated, of course, calling Quibble Pants creative names like "My actual fucking nemesis" and "a dongly-bongly rules lawyer."
"Everybody knows what a hippogriff is, Buck." Quibble Pants said.
"Yeah, sure, everybody does. But does every creature? Dude, hippogriffs are supposed to be legendary. How in the blue fuck would a guy with no arcana check know what one even looks like?" Buck sneered.
"Because it's obvious."
"What ain't fuckin' obvious to me is whether or not you know when you're metagaming, of if you just don't care." Buck said. His energy tasted like an extra sour lemonade, and that tipped off Adagio that despite his frowning, the man was indeed having fun. What she tasted from Quibble Pants was a little bit more like stale tea with a cup of lemon mixed in. If you set those pitchers side by side, you probably couldn't tell the difference, but Adagio could taste that Quibble Pants seemed to genuinely despise Buck, a fact which so far had been a source of endless entertainment.
"So, what, I'm supposed to act all amazed because she's a weird alien creature, like 'oooh, ahhh!' when it's obvious what she is?" 
"I mean, to be fair, that would probably be breaking character since Hillbreaker's only two emotions are 'Bitchin' about literally everything' and 'WAAAAAGH'!" Buck said, doing an impression that sounded more yak than pony. "But yeah, if you could do some roleplayin' today, that'd be pretty cool. No pressure though, man." Buck said. Adagio had never in her life seen a man passive-aggressively tune a guitar, but here she was, stifling a laugh. She hadn't known Buck could play guitar, and had yet to be convinced that this was true.
Adagio wondered idly if she had something that could make her character's entrance even more dazzling. Her eyes flitted and skipped over the sheet of small numbers and figures. When Adagio had compared it to a spreadsheet, Buck had hissed like a fruit bat.
The shocking thing about all this had been Buck's excitement. When he'd come over the previous night, he'd laid a stumpy, somewhat hefty tome on the table, and had taken a dramatically deep breath before introducing the concept. 
Adagio noted that it was typical form for men to proselytize about sweatier men carrying a ball to and fro after taking that breath. To her dawning amusement, she found that Buck instead cashed out his enthusiastic rambling for the day on an activity which he described as being one third plastic dice, one third yelling out bad voice impressions and somehow an additional 80% pretending that you know how to fight. It sounded distressingly similar to a 5th grade production of Hamlet, but likely involving more doritos than any logical being would consider appropriate. 
Then, Buck had opened the book and Adagio found herself with far more questions than Buck could answer. Ogres and Oubliettes was apparently filled with terminology, paraphernalia and imagery that came straight out of Equestria, with a few small changes for what Adagio assumed was the sake of legal distinctions. Here was a calendar-esque painting of the three primary species of pony, wielding weapons that were outdated by centuries and laws. The one in the center of the group, Adagio assumed he was a sorcerer, bore a striking resemblance to the pointy-hatted individual that Adagio despised more than any other in her home plane. Adagio came to a few conclusions then, none of which she liked, but that sort of speculation would have to wait. She was due to perform, after all. 
Adagio had chosen a Sorcerer without hesitation, as well as the only player race that was appropriate to her particular majesty. Adagio was a bit troubled by Buck's seemingly encyclopedic knowledge of the spells of this game; obviously inspired by actual equestrian magic, and very amused when he insisted that she take a feat that would give her access to what he professed to be his favorite and most used cantrip of the entire list. 

Adagio grinned at Sunburst from her spot at the table, strategically sitting between Buck and Scootaloo.
"I would like to cast Prestidigitation."
Sunburst seemed thankful from behind his painted cardboard barricade. Adagio had given him a reprieve from Buck and Quibbles' bickering. 
"Sure thing. What do you want to do with it?" Sunburst said. The table went quiet as he spoke.
Adagio checked the list of features on this particular spell. She distantly detected Quibble Pants rolling his eyes.
"I would like to give my mane and tail a slight shimmering effect like sunlight through mist. And I would like to not turn this feature off under any circumstance." 

Dangle grinned as he watched a cantrip flawlessly displayed before him. He'd learned it in Bard's college and made use of it in bars and...other circumstances enough times to understand its purpose. "Ah, Sparkly Bits! A classic cantrip!" Dangle said, paw to his chin as if he were appraising a painting. The hippogriffs' mane shimmered and dazzled with sparkling lights. 
The hippogriff had settled into a dramatic pose, her glittering mane waving in an invisible breeze. 
"Ah, so you know Prestidigitation! I must be in the gods' eyes to meet a man of culture in such a musty place!" The hippogriff said. An alternate universe over, the whole table sans Adagio started giggling; even Quibble. Buck slapped his hand on the table and wheezed for a moment before he could respond. Adagio gave him a patient frown.
"A man of culture...yes, I think I rather like that title. It's, ehm, very descriptive of my proclivities." Dangle said. 
"I am Tidepool Toccata; sorceress of the shallows." The hippogriff said.
"Can we call you Tidy?" Dangle said.
"You may not." Tidepool said, fluttering her lashes at the Bard.
"I'm gonna." said Buck.
"You will not!" said Adagio.
"Nah, I will, otherwise I'mma call you Tiddy, an' I know you don't want that." said Buck.
"I came to this place, like any enterprising adventurer, to seek the treasure of the vile lich Skullgore. I made great progress, but regretfully found myself bound to this watery chamber without access to my offensive spells, unable to even escape on my own! Below these waters is a dread ziggurat with a monstrous guardian. If you brave heroes can shatter the jewel which lays in the heart of the temple, my curse will be lifted, and I would be happy to accompany you on your travels!" Tidy said. Adagio tossed away the cue card that Sunburst had given her. She would have to thank him later for giving her such a convincing buy-in to the adventure. Buck had called this excellent GMing. No one had yet explained what a 'GM' even was to Adagio, but she was catching on quick, as usual. 
Dangle was in the middle of saying yes when Hillbreaker put a fore hoof out in front of him, standing between him and the glamorous hippogriff.
"Hold on there. How do we know we can trust this sea witch? She could be an agent of Skullgore; come to impede our mission." Hillbreaker growled. 
"Wh-what? But we're so lost! And she's so hot! And we're SO LOST!" Chillwing whined.
"No, wait, you know what they say about broken clocks! Hilby is right." Dangle said.
"He is?" Scootaloo said.
"I am?" Quibble said.
"He is," said Dangle "at least right that we shouldn't trust every beautiful stranger we come across. That's how you met me after all and look at me! An absolute scoundrel!" He said. "I happen to know that sparkly bits is most often used by dastards and swindlers. What insurance do we have that you won't just run off the moment we free you and, oh, I don't know, steal our small change?" Dangle finished, his own claws sparkling and wiggling for dramatic effect. 
Adagio asked Sunburst if she needed to roll for persuasion. Sunburst said yes, for HIllbreaker and Dangle. Adagio remembered the instructions that Buck had given her; ask, then roll, then play it out accordingly.
"Well, handsome, I can assure you that I'm neither foolish nor suicidal. Traipsing about this place on my own, even with my considerable arcane might, is what got me trapped here in the first place. Secondly, while you look a bit too...scruffy to have much in the way of pocket change, I can provide the map that I have created of this place. It can guide us to one of the treasure rooms that I have left untouched. Is that incentive enough?" Tidy said.
"I say we help her!" Chillwing said. 
"Why would you just leave treasure laying around?" Hillbreaker grumbled.
"Oh yes, let me just fill a sack with loud, clanking bits of heavy metal and ferry it about in a wheelbarrow! Perhaps if it has a squeaky enough wheel, I can use it as a diversion for the hordes of monsters that stalk these halls!" Tidy said, grinning at Hillbreaker. "I travel light, and I'm charting these halls for a reason; once Skullgore is gone, I can make as many trips as I need to loot this place."
"Damn. Damn, does sarcasm count as diplomacy or intimidation?" Buck said. 
"She knows how to loot! I say we help her!" Chillwing said. 
"I'm with Chillwing." Dangle said. "That means you're outvoted, Hillby."
"Well, there is a bit of a wrinkle. I can't break the artifact that holds me here. It is immune to magical damage, and I'm not one for physical might. I assume this mountain on four hooves could assist with that? I can cast an enchantment that will allow you to walk along the bottom of this spring without getting your hair wet. You'll also be able to breathe." Tidy said. Hillbreaker snorted in answer. 
"I say we help her!" Chillwing said.
"Right, right, it's coming together. Now, we just need someone vigilant and focused to help Tidy's cause here..." Dangle said, closing his eyes in concentration.
"I'll do it!" Chillwing said.
"Yes, someone with a perceptive eye and the speed to react with all swiftness..." Dangle continued.
"I volunteer!" Chillwing cheered.
"Right, so you agree! You'll go down with Hillbreaker and make sure nothing happens to him while he breaks the thingy, and I'll stay up here and protect Tidy while she casts her spell!" Dangle said. Chillwing flopped onto the ground next to Hillbreaker and began crying loud, ugly tears. Hillbreaker gave Chillwing a pat on the back that was meant to be comforting, but was more like getting butted by a chunk of rebar at a construction site.
"Yes, the puppy here has the right of it. This will be a ritual that requires concentration, and I must not be interrupted if you value the dryness of your lungs." Tidy said. She snapped her claw and a resplendent staff of coral and pearls appeared floating in her palm. 
"Bat and pony, swift and savage, let me grant you Watery Passage!" As she breathed out the last of the incantations, Tidepool nearly sung the name.
A soft breeze arose in the chamber. Tidepool Toccata's svelte form was enveloped in a quivering rainbow pattern like the surface of a soap bubble. Then it floated off her and surrounded Hillbreaker and Chillwing, who looked on in amazement.
"Impressive rhyming. But 'puppy'? Really? No one has called me puppy since my mother!" Dangle said.
"Oh, is she the last woman you had sex with?" Tidy snapped back.
"Shots fired!" Chillwing said as she and Hillbreaker leapt into the murky pool, surrounded by a bubble of arcane energy.
"No, actually I'm quite certain it was your mother." Dangle said. "Regrettable that she's a flounder." 
"And why is that? Do you have an issue with flounders?" Tidy said.
"Flat as a board." Dangle said, waving his hand in front of his chest. Everyone around the table laughed, aside from Scoots. 
"Take care that you watch over me, puppy. Tell me, why did you send the little birdie away? Did you just want to get me alone?" Tidy said. Her eyes were closed in concentration as she mocked maintaining the spell, but Buck could see the smirk on Adagio's face.
"Perhaps...I didn't want them to see me stumble over my words as I composed a sonnet." Dangle said. He backed up toward Tidy, looking left and right, guitar at the ready.
"Oh? A sonnet? Whatever for, mister puppy bard?"
"For your beauty, of course." Buck said. His hand slid over to touch Adagio's thigh. She peaked at him sharply. Her grin widened. 
"Ahhh...well. I suppose I'm in good hands, with you?" Tidy said.
"Ah yes, we haven't been introduced. I'm Dangle, man of culture, plucker of strings, he of the firm yet tender fingers! If you're looking to be handled properly, I am the exact bard for the job." Dangle said. Buck accentuated this speech with a quick and silly guitar riff. 
"Well, Mr. Dangle Puppycakes, feel free to finger away as you please, just don't do it right near me. I need to concentrate." Tidy said. 
"I can finger in whatever location you want, love." Dangle said, prancing away. "But in exchange, would you show me how you polish the knob on that wizard's staff of yours?" Dangle said.
"Oh, I'd be happy to demonstrate, if we get out of this mess." Tidy purred.

"Can we get on with it!?" Quibble said to the whole room.
"Is your last name really 'Puppycakes'?" Scootaloo snickered.
"Naw, but that's a better name than what I came up with!" Buck laughed.
"Well, congratulations Buck, because now that's canon!" Sunburst chimed in. Buck erased a line on his character sheet and then filled it back in.
"Ohh, you've done it now, Buck. I am going to call you 'Puppycakes' until the end of time!" Adagio said.
"Go ahead, that sounds adorable!" Buck said, calling her bluff. His grin widened as Adagio frowned.
"So we jumped into the spring. What do we see down there?" Quibble said.
"Yeah, is there any loot?" Scootaloo said. 
"Beneath the murky waters of the underground spring, your vision is impaired by floating algae and the like. The water is opaque, and you can only see a bit around you, but you can make out a couple of closed storm drains recessed into the eastern and western walls of the spring. Ahead of you is that pyramidal structure that Chillwing pointed out earlier. It has a clearly open entrance." Sunburst said.

Hillbreaker drew his trident into his teeth as he and Chillwing marched forward. The bubble of energy around them formed a protective barrier that let no water seep through. It was disturbingly quiet inside the bubble; so quiet in fact that they could hear their own heartbeats.
"Uhm...I wanna use Sonar to check the environment again!" Scootaloo said.
"No, wait--" Quibble said, but Sunburst cut him off.
"Your screech bounces around inside the bubble, hammering into you both. You need to make a constitution saving throw or risk taking damage from the sound." Scootaloo's dice hit the table. A seven. Quibbles' dice, scooped into his hand the second it hit, had rolled 15. 
The loud buffeting sound tore into Chillwing's sensitive ears and dazed her. Hillbreaker rolled his eyes and carried on.
"Don't do that in here, rogue! This thing is insulated so your scream has nowhere to go but back in our ears!" Hillbreaker rumbled. 
"Riiiight, riiiight..." Chillwing mumbled, her eye spinning in it's socket. She trundled after Hillbreaker as he stepped up to the foot of the ziggurat. From here, it was clear that it had an open top, but some shimmering force field was blocking it off.
"Hrrm. More blasted magic. Right, well, I suppose we're taking the front door." Hillbreaker grumbled.
"What!?" Chillwing shouted, dazing herself all over again as it bounced back. 
"Just follow me! Do you see anything strange around here?" Hillbreaker said. A d20 hit the table.
"Uh yeah, those big thick vines going across the floor and up the wall look like they're coming outta here! That's pretty weird."
"Is that useful to us?"
"I dunno."
"Well then, it doesn't matter. Are you going to take point?" Hillbreaker said.
"Right." Chillwing said. She shook her head and moved past Hillbreaker. As they entered the interior of the ziggurat, they looked up and saw that at the top of the lengthy staircase, a bright green light was shining down. Chillwing's ears twitched in the direction of some distant and incredibly soft sound. 
Another dice was rolled. 8. No good. 

Meanwhile up on the edge of the spring, Tidy maintained her spell as Dangle kept watch. 
"So are you at any point going to tell me why you're really here, Tidy?" Dangle said.
"It's Tidepool Toccata, and I've already told you what I'm doing here." The hippogriff sneered.
"Yes, and what I'm saying is that I don't buy it. I can tell that you're a fishy filly of breeding by the way you carry yourself, and your jewelry and focus indicate a certain degree of generational wealth. What in the world would you want with gold and diamonds when you have them at home?" Dangle said. 
"For your information, my family estate is currently locked inside a time curse that was cast by Skullgore when they refused to serve him. I need to defeat him to set them free. And, to be perfectly frank, I'm not keen on marching around this dungeon any more than I have to, when I know a safe and swift way to get back out into daylight and then the nearest inn. This place is more of a bolero than a ballade, if you catch my meaning." Tidy said. 
"That's funny; Chillwing and I were just outnumbering Hillby about that. We'd love to add your vote to the pile, I assure you. I could use a hot bath and a warm bed." Dangle said.
"Well, that may be a bit of a problem, Mr. Puppycakes." Tidy said.
"Is that so?"
"Oh, it is. You see, all of the beds in that inn are twin-sized. We'll have to squeeze together in order to fit. It might be a little too tight for you." Tidy purred.
"Man, if I had a shilling for every time I've heard that!" Dangle laughed.
The flirting between the two magicians was so intense that they failed to notice the peril above them. 
A bundle of ghostly light struck Dangle in the chest like a gutter ball from the gods. As he looked up, barely staying upright, he saw more of the blazing spheres floating down toward Tidy and himself. Menacingly. 
There was a searing pain in his chest from where he'd been hit. His vest was singed. A dice was rolled, and in response to the attack, Dangle underhanded a secreted dagger at the offending glowing blue ball. It passed harmlessly through the mass and then splashed into the spring.
"Ah, piss! They're incorporeal!?" Dangle said. To his player's left, a dice was tossed.
"They are wisps, bard! Non-magical attacks won't even tickle them! Take care they don't come after me; I can't concentrate and shrug off blows at the same time!"
"Is that right? Why didn't you say so!?" Dangle said. He ripped a great splanging chord on his steel guitar, and with a boom of sound before him, he scattered a group of the ghostly flames apart. More still were drifting down from the top of the chamber.

Down in the sunken ziggurat, Hillbreaker and Chillwing crept up and along the lengthy stone staircase. They followed the green glow, for there was nowhere else to go. 
"Huh. I was seriously expecting us to get attacked down here." Chillwing said, idly flipping a dagger around.
"We're at the bottom of a lake. I wouldn't tempt fate." Hillbreaker said. Another dice hit the table. Chillwing stopped short for just a moment. There it was again. It sounded slow, and almost rhythmic.

"Where are they even coming from!?" Dangle said, blasting another grouping with Thunderwave. Buck knew how it could be with lengthy rituals, so he tried to prompt Adagio with something to do. Arcana checks. Her sparkly purple dice hit the table.
"They're just motes of magical essence; a byproduct of the artifact inside the ziggurat!" Tidy said. Buck raised a middle finger at one of the wisps in a half-hearted attempt at vicious mockery. Buck's dice failed him and so the wisp smacked into Dangle's arm, leaving what would surely become a welt given time. "They are also mindless, so insulting them isn't going to get you anywhere." Tidy said. Dangle raised an inquisitive finger. "Flattery won't get you anywhere, either." Tidy said. 
Dangle put his finger down. He kept moving to intercept and catch as many wisps with his thunderwave as he could, but eventually, his luck ran out. Dangle failed to knock a wisp out of the air, and it zoomed out of his reach and smacked Tidy right in the ribs. Dangle heard a sickening crack as she fell. A critical hit. The shimmering glow around her staff dissipated instantly.

Down in the ziggurat, Chillwing and Hillbreaker suddenly found themselves paddling upwards for dear life. Well, Chillwing was swimming up toward the green light. Hillbreaker was sinking like the stone that he was. Chillwing sped up to the surface as quick as a tuna, took a great and gasping breath, then dove back down. 
Her form was small and frail, but with the reduced weight thanks to the water, she thought she might be able to push Hillbreaker back up. The stony colt seemed to get the picture, and he pointed wordlessly to the stairs that they had been walking on. With a great deal of effort, the two adventurers breached the water inside the ziggurat. They were coughing and panting, but this was a good sign because it meant that they were indeed alive. "Last time I trust a sea witch..." Hillbreaker grumbled.	
"No, it's the last time we let you anywhere near water without a rope around you! You weigh like ten anvils!" Chillwing spluttered. Her nagging ceased as her eyes fell on the largest emerald she had ever seen. It itself was like a ziggurat in shape; angular and well cut, floating in mid-air above a pedestal of stone. Chillwing licked her lips and crept toward it, just in time for Hillbreaker to lift her by the scruff of the hood and pull her back.
"We came here to destroy that thing, not steal it. Stay focused." Hillbreaker said. He drew his signature maul, which thumped onto the stony floor. It appeared that there was an air pocket right at the top of this altar, albeit one powered by magic of some sort.
"Hmph. Fiiine. It looks weird anyway." Chillwing said. The resplendent emerald was set in a golden base that looked something like a spider or an octopus with trailing legs. "So what's the plan? You gonna analyze it for it's breaking point, or some other miner sorta thing?"
"I was thinking more the traditional approach." Hillbreaker said, raising his maul. As he brought it down, Chillwing heard that distant hammering sound once again, like the beating of a massive drum. It sped up to a breakneck beat as Hillbreaker's hammer fell. The shimmering bubble of force surrounding the pair burst, and in an instant, Chillwing and Hillbreaker were sent careening into the walls of the ziggurat as the water all around them rushed into the empty space.

"Woah! Can I use Uncanny Dodge to half up the damage?" Scoots said.
"...the damage from the water smacking you against the walls?" Sunburst said.
"No way, that only works on attacks from attackers you can see!" Quibble quibbled.
"Isn't there water all around you? Surely the batpony could see the water before it fell in." Adagio helped.
"I'll allow it." Sunburst said. "You both take six points of bludgeoning damage as you are knocked against the walls, half for Chillwing. The emerald stays floating in it's position above the dais. What do you do?"
"Chillwing, go and grab the jewel and bring it here so I can smash it!" Hillbreaker said.	
"How do you say that with a mouth full of water?" Sunburst said.
"I gesture at the gem with my spear and then nod at Chillwing!" Quibble retconned.
Chillwing got her hooves behind her as the wave carried her away, allowing her to bend her knees and blunt some of the impact as she hit the wall. She saw Hillby gurgle something, then point with his spear, then finally tap something out in morse code, maybe? After a moment, Chillwing kicked off the wall, using her leathery wings to guide herself, then in one elegant and arcing motion, she came back to Hillbreaker with the gem in hand. The ziggurat began to rumble.

"Shit. Shit. Shit! Fucking hell, not the face!" Dangle said. He had taken a total of five or six wisps to the chest and one to the face at this point. He was standing over Tidy's prone form, protecting her both with spells and his body. It seemed like there was no end to the wisps.

"'dagio, that was one hit. Did you dump Con?" Buck said.
"I maximized the exact stats that you said a caster needs, Buck!" Adagio said.
"Min-maxing, of course."
"What's wrong with that, Mr. fourteens across the board?" Quibble said. 
"Oh, you wanna get in on this? You wanna explain how you rolled eighteens in Strength, Con and Dex?"
"I got lucky, what do you want?"
"How about you roll on the fucking table instead of into your hand?" Buck said. The two men glared at each other across the table. For a singular second there was a slight flash of green in their eyes.
"Sure, when you stop bullshitting for Inspiration! Sunburst lets you get away with everything!" Quibble said.
"You wanna see some bullshit? You wanna see that patented Purple Prose bullshit? You wanna fuckin' pvp after this? We can pop it off right here." Buck said. 
"Guys, guys, there's no need to escalate. Dangle, the wisps are still swarming around you and Toccata. What do you do?"
Dangle weighed his options and came to the quick conclusion that he would just have to take the assault and heal Tidy. After all, this was far from the first time he'd had to take balls to the face. He bent over Tidy's prone form, and while the wisps rained down on him, he whispered in Tidepool's ear.
"Hey, hey Tidy, why do wizards like fireball so much?" 
"Whuuh...what?" Tidy mumbled.
"It's a well-rounded spell!" Dangle said. A brief strumming of the lute to accentuate the joke, and Tidy's welt blinkered out of existence. A wisp crashed once more into Dangle's face, and while he picked one of his teeth up from the floor, Tidy rose to her feet. Behind her, the ziggurat breached the murky surface of the water. Hillbreaker's maul fell in a headsman's chop, a tinkling crash filled the chamber, and then Tidy's staff began to float before her. 
"That was terrible, firstly. Secondly, I'm flattered that you would let your smile get ruined for my sake." Tidy said, smiling radiantly.  
"Ahm still missin' like three teef!" Dangle mumbled.
"Thirdly; duck. Vicious burning floating fey, brace yourself for my Color Spray!"  The staff spun and the pearls glowed with rainbow lights and a strobing spectacle blasted forth and annihilated the swarm of wisps surrounding the duo. 
"Do you actually need to rhyme when you cast spells or are you just being extra?" Dangle said, picking himself up off the floor.

"Do you actually need to make dad jokes when you cast Healing Word?" Scoots said.
"The fact that you complain is the reason I will never stop." Buck said, flatly. 

The wisps over their heads puttered out of existence with a sound not unlike a wind chime falling down. The ziggurat rumbled and shook and seemed to drift as it lifted above the water. Dangle ducked a grumbling boulder which crumbled to the ground in a pile of weapons, then held his arms out to catch Chillwing. 
"The hell was that!? Did you guys break the thingy!?" Dangle said, setting the lithe batpony down. 
"Uhh..." Chillwing pointed with a hoof in the direction from which she had been thrown. There was a horrible tearing sound as the thick vines rent themselves from the wall and began to haul the ziggurat in the direction of the bewildered party. The vines, each as thick around as an oak tree slammed the ground before the spring, then reared up to reveal six or seven crocodilian heads made partly of plant matter and mostly of gnashing teeth. In an instant Chillwing understood.
"Oooh, it's like a swampy, snakey sorta..." Chillwing said.
"The ziggurat is a fucking hydra!" Dangle shouted.





"And with that, we're going to take our mid-session break. When we get back, we'll roll initiative!" Sunburst said. He rolled his neck and stood up from behind his screen. 
"Ah, good. I need to stretch my legs." Buck said. He was half a stride to the door when Quibble spoke up.
"Where're you going? We've got to think of a strategy to deal with the boss!" Quibble Pants said.
"Don't worry, I've already got somethin' in mind for that. A classic." Buck said.
"Yeah? Do you want to share your brilliant strategy with the rest of the class?" Quibble said.
"Sure. In character. When we get back from the break. The break that we should be taking right now." Buck said. He was back at the table.
"Actually, I think we should--" Scoots piped up. Adagio clotheslined her sentence with her own thought.
"I think Buck has the right of it. We should keep the strategy inside the scene. We don't know what that thing is capable of, or what its weaknesses might be. It's pointless to speculate." Adagio said.
"It's a hydra. You crush them or light their stumps on fire when you cut their heads off, or hit them in the heart enough and they go down." Quibble huffed.
"Sure, except for the part where there's nothing to crush it with, if we light it up it'll just go underwater, and their heart is covered by a whole-ass stone pyramid." Scoots said.
"Ziggurat, dear." Adagio corrected.
"Whatever. Point is, we won't know what to do until we get an arcana check on it or somethin' so why bother making a plan right now?" Scoots finished. Adagio smiled as she heard the irritation creeping into the little cherub's voice.
"Of course you'd side with Buck." Quibble said.
"Yeah, it's 'cause I'm right. Lighten up and take a break, man. I'm gonna take a stroll. Y'all want anything from the store?" Buck said. Adagio frowned. There were footsteps behind them, then the sound of the suite's front door clicking.
"No." Quibble said, popping a soda open.
"Cranberry juice? And, uh, gummy worms!" Scoots said. 
"Sure. 'dagio? Snacks?" Buck said. 
"Nothing for me, Buck. I'm built for comfort, but I'd like to keep my speed." Adagio's eyes lingered on Scootaloo for a second as she stood. "Actually, Buck, you can put me down for some grape juice." She said. Adagio slipped her arms loosely around Buck's waist from behind and gave him a little squeeze.
"Uh...cut the gummy worms, I guess..." Scoots said under her breath.
"Feelin' thirsty?" Buck said.
"For something tall and sharp and sweet~." Adagio said.
"And purple, I'm guessin'." Buck said. He caught Adagio's hands before they could slip downward.
"Always, Buck." Adagio said. Buck felt Adagio's fingers glide surreptitiously over his backside as she turned for the kitchen.
"Don't you guys ever turn that off? Sheesh." Quibble said, looking up from his notes.
"Hah, nope, not really. Is that making you uncomfortable? Because I can dial it back." Buck said. Quibble Pants swatted at Buck's hand as he went to pat the man's back. 
"I don't care, as long as it doesn't hold up the game." Quibble grumbled. Buck's shrug left the suite. A pair of crossed arms was waiting down the hall and around a corner for him. 
"Buck." Starlight Glimmer said. It was a few miles off course from amicable, but it was fine, because Buck could give directions.
"Hey Starlight. I'm doin' a store run. You want anything?" Buck said, passing her by. Starlight simply stepped around in front of him. He had almost forgotten that she was taller than him. He had to look up to raise an eyebrow at her.
"Are you blind, or just stupid?" Starlight said. Wow. Deja vu, Buck thought. 
"I'm cravin' gummy sharks. Get outta the way, Glimglam." Buck said. 
"Don't call me that. Buck, can't you see that Adagio is using you?" 
"Walk and talk, Starbright. How d'ya figure?" Buck said, stepping around her.
"You're doing this on purpose."
"Yeah, I am, because you won't lay off," Buck began.
"..." Starlight frowned.
"Heather." Buck finished.
"Look, Adagio is an actual monster. She's a siren, Buck. A legendary creature that sings to lure in hapless morons and hypnotize them, or drain them of their emotions." Starlight said, following.
"Yeah, you can take that and file it under 'shit I already know'." Buck said.
"Well if you know what she is, why are you dating her!?" Starlight said.
"We ain't dating yet. We're just figuring things out. She does act out sometimes, but I think she's just testing the waters. That's normal." Buck said.
"Yes, so she can figure out how to manipulate you better! You have to see that. She is draining your emotions so she can store up her energy and do...something, I don't know!" 	
"I don't think so. She...she's always thirsty for it. I don't think she can actually hold it all in for very long. It's like me and sugar. Enough of it will make my serotonin level out for a bit, but it don't last." The elevator dinged, and Starlight still wouldn't leave him alone. 
"I see...but that doesn't make her any less dangerous, Buck! She could kill you whenever she wants!"
"But she won't."
"You can't know that."
"I do, though. We have a deal. She won't hurt me, because she agreed not to. She likes me." Buck smiled.
"Yeah, sure, Buck. She likes you, just like the girls at hooters like you, and strippers too."
"No, the girls at hooters like me because I tip well, and the girls at the Saucy Saddle like me because I was a bouncer there for a little while." Buck said. 
"I'm trying to help you." Starlight said through clenched teeth. "Adagio is up to something. Every time I've put feelers out, her readings have been showing a massive amount of equestrian magic just leaking out of her. Do you have any idea where she's getting it from? You've spent a lot of time with her, right? What is she doing with it?"
"You can sense magic?"
"With the right tools, yes."
"Okay, well if Adagio does something apocalyptic, you let me know and I'll say that you were right from under the rubble. But until then, lay off. I can see you glarin' at her over the couch, and so can she. She's tryin' to act normal. Give her a fucking chance."
"She's just manipulating you, Buck! That's what sirens do! She's a monster!"
"Will you STOP FUCKING CALLING HER THAT!?" Buck shouted. Buck looked hastily around the lobby for a second before he quickly began walking again. Starlight waved and smiled to the guests and followed right after Buck. 
"What exactly is your problem, Buck!? What do I have to do to get you to listen to me?" Starlight hissed. Buck clenched his fists and turned to her. He honestly looked like he was going to throw a punch, but then he let out a breath.
"You can stop calling her a monster, for starters. You think I'm dumb as hell, and maybe I am, but I know people well enough to know that if you call someone a monster their whole life, they'll start believin' it...look, Adagio is mean, yeah. And scary. But she's also thoughtful. When I set boundaries, she respects them. She actually enjoys spending time with me. I mean, fuck, she's up here playing O&O because I asked her to. She, she fucking apologized when she screwed up, and, we've fucking cried in front of each other. She is trying so hard to understand me, even though I'm...a lot."
"She's grooming you, Buck. She just wants your love."
"And what's so bad about wanting to be loved, huh!? I get that she's done some bad shit, but at the end of the day, Starlight, Adagio is just tryin' to get over all of that and build somethin' new. And she picked me, of all fucking people, because I've got a lot of love to give and that's all the woman wants; to be loved! Is that so wrong?"
"It is when you drink people. At least let me give you something to protect yourself. Sunburst is worried about you." Starlight said. She had one hand on Buck's shoulder, the other in her pocket. 
"Now who's being fucking manipulative? Don't you try and use Sunburst as a cudgel against Adagio. Sunburst trusts me to make my own damn decisions." Buck shrugged his shoulder roughly away from Starlight.
"You're making a mistake."
"Well, it's my mistake to make. "
"Ughh! Why do you have to be so obstinate about this!?"
"'dagio called me 'incorrigible'. I like that more." 
"Buck, she is gaining a lot of magical power from somewhere. I don't know where, but if you take a charm home with you and stick with her, we can find out and-"
"I'm gonna haveta stop you right there. You are not using me to spy on Adagio, and this conversation is over. You can get back at me when you wanna apologize. Now leave me the fuck alone. Only reason I tolerate you is you're datin' my best friend." Buck said. 





So far, this little experiment had been half a success. Adagio had been surreptitiously prodding at the table to rouse their ire. It had been slow going. Sunburst may have been new to running a game, but he was an expert mediator. Buck had been easier; all Adagio had to do was weave a subtle enchantment and point him at Quibble. She hadn't bothered with Scootaloo quite yet. The poor thing wasn't quite herself tonight, and Adagio wanted to wait for the right moment to poke her. This was a strategy that the Dazzlings had made use of very often in the last few decades. Weaving a simple spell in a public place and watching the puppets dance. All they had to do then was sit back and sip at their energy. Humans were irritable things by nature, and so a minor enchantment was all it took to get them to bicker. She'd had to reapply the enchantment on Buck a few times; it seemed that he tended to deflect anger with humor; even his own. 
Buck. Every time she turned the man over, there was another side to him, like the d20s they were rolling. Adagio knew that Buck was something of a savant when it came to a verbal duel, but she had no clue until tonight that he could throw barbs. The man had an unprecedented mean streak, and it tasted like...oh, like a cherry vodka sour. Sweet and sour and quick and punchy. Delicious. Adagio would have to try provoking him like this in the future.
On the other hand, Buck's opponent Quibble Pants had proven a bottomless source of salty dissatisfaction. She wondered if the women in his life came away feeling the same. 
Regardless, Adagio had been slowly getting her fill over the course of the evening, and it seemed like she wouldn't need to push much to get a fist fight going. That would be a bit too much, she thought. Better to ease off now before the watchful eye of Starlight fell upon her. Adagio had tried tasting her before, and there was little more to be gleaned besides the fact that she had zero magical power outside of the usual emotional trickles, and she was angry all the time. What would the lanky bitch even do? Yell at her? Call her mean names? Adagio wondered why she ever considered Starlight a threat. 
After exactly one trip around the corner, two elevator rides and an armful of treats, Buck returned to the suite just as everyone was sitting back down at the table. Well, everyone save for Quibble Pants, who hadn't moved an inch. 
Adagio gave Buck a tender kiss on the cheek as she plucked the little bottle of juice from his hand. She noticed Scootaloo roll her eyes. Interesting. 

With the snacks dispensed, Sunburst set the scene from behind his screen.
"You've broken the curse on Tidepool Toccata, but the ziggurat has revealed itself to be the guardian of this chamber! It's many fanged mouths dribble a caustic red fluid that hisses and pops as it touches the stone floor. The beast unleashes a ghastly shriek; declaring wordlessly that it is the final challenge of this room. Let's roll for initiative!" Dice hit the table one after the other in an excited clatter. Quibble showed the dice he scooped up had rolled an 16. Scoots had a 13. Adagio was an 8, and Buck a measly 3. 
"Shit! Guys, I've got a strat; I think I can finish this with one spell, but I need to heal first, otherwise Dangle won't live to cast it." 
"Need me to run interference, big guy?" Scootaloo said, smiling.
"Yeah, you know it, Scoots. 'dagio?" 
"As if you need to ask, Buck. Tidepool owes the group a debt of gratitude; Dangle especially. She'll defend him better than either of the others." Adagio said, flipping her hair.
"I attack the closest head with my battle axe."  Quibble said. Once again, the man was giving off traces of barely restrained frustration, but also, a familiar devious glee.

Dangle was just about to say something charming and clever, but before the words could leave his lips, the boulder covered in weapons that he had dodged before happened to pick himself up, and in a great galumphing stampeding motion, he dove for the nearest reptilian head and lopped it clean off at the neck. The offending head hit the floor with a sound like a pumpkin that fell from a second story window, it's acrid red fluid splashing up and hissing into the floor. 
"Action Surge! I use my second attack to go for another head!" Quibble said.
"The hell are you doing? We have no idea what that thing is!" Dangle said.
"Yeah, so Hillbreaker has no reason not to start swinging, right!?" Quibble said, smirking.
Hillbreaker roared, and the scooped dice showed a roll of 16. Another hit, and another fanged head hitting the ground. 
"Am I remembering right, that talking is a free action, Sunburst?" Adagio asked.
"It is!" Sunburst said.

"Fool! At least let me try to identify this creature before you hack into it like a deranged landscaper!" Tidy said.
"The party watches in horror as the green stumps left over from Hillbreaker's assault slowly twist and quiver and bloom into two smaller reptile heads each, while the two on the ground charge at you, dragging themselves along with their ragged, viney tendrils! Hillbreaker and Chillwing, they're attacking the both of you!" Sunburst said.
Chillwing just barely managed to flit out of the way of the gnashing jaws that had come bearing down on her, but a few red droplets managed to fleck onto her exposed arms, hissing and popping and earning a shriek from the batpony. Hillbreaker was far less lucky. The jaws closed around his whole form and snapped him up, the severed head thrashing and rolling him like a ghastly crocodile. Hillbreaker's reaction was little more than a grunt as he struggled to break free.

"Hillbreaker is caught in the gnashing fangs of the head! He takes...thirteen points of piercing damage, and six acid damage!" Sunburst said.
"Jesus Christ how terrifying." Buck said.
"What the hell!? That's not what hydras do!" Quibble said.
"Uh, trying to tear you apart and melt you with acid kinda sounds like exactly what hydras do?" Scootaloo said. Adagio snickered right along with Buck. 
"No, I mean the severed head thing! How was I supposed to know that would happen!" Quibble demanded.
"You weren't. Surprise!" Sunburst said.
"That's why you should have waited for just a moment so that I could attempt to identify it." Adagio said.
"That would've taken too much time!" Quibble said.
"Well, now you're gonna be a stone for this thing's gizzard, so I think you oughta check your watch while you're in there." Buck chuckled. Quibble's already sour energy bubbled up and nearly made Adagio's eyes water. Mixing that with Buck's humor was a strange combination of sour and sweet.
"Well, the rest of the heads are going to attack, and there's enough of them to target the whole party. I'm going to roll those." Sunburst said.
"Tidepool is going to use the Shield spell as a reaction, and she is going to use her Expanded Spell feature to make it encompass the whole party!" Adagio interjected.

Dangle considered becoming a cleric if his hasty prayers could stop him from being digested in an instant. He closed his eyes and cringed as the heads of the guardian beast came hissing down at his little motley crew. 
"Gnashing teeth will break and yield when struck against my mighty Shield!" Tidy said, hastily. 
When Dangle opened his eyes, he saw that the creature's many strikes were being turned away by a set of shimmering shields of energy. Each of the party members had their own private bubble to shrug off blows. 
"Woah-ho-ho! I thought Sorcerers were all attack all the time! You're a utility caster!?" Dangle guffawed.
"What can I say? The sea holds many secrets and surprises, Mr. Puppcakes." Tidy winked.
"You guys, I think I heard something sus down in the ziggurat. I wanna check it out, but there's no way I can dodge all of those heads!" 
"What are you talking about? You're protected by my magic! Are you doubting my arcane powers?" Tidy said. Adagio sounded genuinely offended.	
"Yeah, sure, but it's a numbers game! The bubble can shrug off maybe one or two hits, but they're all gonna get a turn if I fly through them! One of them is gonna get lucky, and I can't take hits like that! But look, I betcha these things don't like fire, I mean they're made of plants, right? Do you think you could light my knives on fire or something so I can put the hurt on them?" Chillwing said. 
"Hmph. And why should I do that instead of incinerating them all with a fireball?" Tidy pouted.
"At this range!? You'll fry us all, woman!" Said Hillbreaker, who was currently preoccupied with bench pressing the jaws open around him.
"I hate to say this, but Hillby is right. This is your show, Chillwing. I trust you." Dangle said. "Will you help her, Tidy? If you do, we can call it square for my missing teeth, huh?" He offered.
"If you insist." Tidy said. 
In the meantime, Chillwing flew to the aid of Hillbreaker. She stabbed and slashed and sneak attacked the head that was trying to tear into him, but it was like cutting through a thick curtain of kudzu; there was some damage, but not much. 
"Your knives deserve a swift upgrade! Try again with a Flaming Blade!" Tidy incanted, and one of Chillwing's daggers ignited into a blazing scimitar of fire. "Now be quick, little birdie! Every moment I maintain that spell is a moment that I'm not defending Dangle!" Tidy said.
"That one was almost a stretch! Not very used to casting helpful buffs on other people, huh?" Dangle teased.
"I am obviously the most helpful party member of this outfit by far! When will you start pulling your weight, oh mighty bard?" Tidy huffed. 
"Yeah, you know, that's fair. Hey, let me ask you something. What did the ettin say to the bard with the broken lute?" Dangle said, through a shit-eating grin.
"Oh no." Chillwing said.
"One head said; 'Hey, I thought bards were supposed to be useful!' and the other one said; 'Yeah? I thought they were supposed to be instrumental!'" Dangle's bruises and burns evaporated in a puff of smoke and the sound of someone in the audience coughing. Buck had rolled low on the heal, but it would have to do.
"Uggghhh!" Hillbreaker groaned in disapproval at the world. 
"That's it! That's the worst one yet!" Chillwing said.

The table turned to look at Adagio, who after trying desperately to wipe the tears in her eyes, very nearly fell out of her chair from laughing too hard. Buck's mouth dropped open, then curled into a gaping smile.
"Holy shit, holy shit you guys I got her with that one! Ayyy!" Buck said, spraying the table with a round of finger guns. 
"You're not getting inspiration for that." Sunburst said with a smile.
"Hah!" Quibble cackled.
"Aww man!" Buck said.
"Back to the top of the round. Quibble, Hillbreaker is restrained by the head that's biting down on him. I'm going to need an athletics or an acrobatics check for him to get out. What will it be?"
"Oooh, acrobatics! I wanna see Hillby cartwheel out of there!" Scootaloo laughed. 
"Yeah, yeah, definitely! Now that's what I call a 'Rolling Stone'!" Buck said. The elbow that he nudged Adagio with seemed to knock over some dominoes that eventually smacked into her funny bone, because she immediately started laughing again, almost spitting out her grape juice.
"Stop, stop, Sonata, these are terrible!" Adagio coughed. She covered her mouth and blushed.
"Uh..." Buck said.
"It's going to be Athletics." Quibble said. A roll and a scoop showed a positive result, once again. 
Hillbreaker's stony hide was pockmarked both with bite marks and acid splashes. He managed to pry the fanged maw off and push it aside with considerable effort.
"I'm going to smash it with my maul!" Quibble said.
"Wait, friend! That isn't doing much! How about you take out that shield of yours and go on the defensive? The more attacks we draw, the less of the heads will go for Chillwing!" Dangle said.
"Don't tell me what to do, you little red haired runt!" Hillbreaker grumbled.
"Do you want us all to die? If not, listen to the idiot bard!" Tidy said. 
"I attack the head." Quibble said. A roll and a scoop. "I use Action Surge, and I do it again." Another roll and a scoop. Two hits.
Hillbreaker's maul came down with two earth-shattering strikes. The guardian's severed head was splattered across the ground like a watermelon under a steam roller. It twitched once, then gave off a death rattle and accepted its fate as a pile of mulch. Hillbreaker hefted the weapon over his shoulder and turned to the other heads, only to remember that two more had grown from the stump that he had severed before. 
"Is face-palming a free action?" Buck grumbled.
The beast reared back all of it's heads, and made a sound akin to a clogged sink, a horrible retching gurgle that became a watery screech as each head vomited a stream of boiling red acid in unison. The horrid, sizzling fluid washed over the arcane bubbles that were shielding the party, but a few drops dripped onto Hillbreaker, Dangle and Tidy, making them all cry out in pain.
Chillwing charged through the air, and with a slash of her flaming blade, the beast howled in agony as one of it's heads was instantly reduced to a shower of ashen plant matter. 
"Action surge. I'm going for another one!" Scoots said.
"What the hell?" Quibble said.
"I multiclassed into Fighter, remember!?" Scoots said.
Chillwing's blade came to bear through a swooping pirouette that bisected and immolated another head in an instant.			
"I charge for the chamber at the top of the ziggurat!" Scoots said.
"Yeah, fuck 'em up!" Buck cheered. Sunburst made some rolls.
Chillwing valiantly dives toward the ziggurat, just barely managing to avoid the snapping fangs of the guardian before disappearing into the darkness!" Sunburst said. 
"Awesome! What do I see?" Scoots said.
"We'll get to that on your next turn. Adagio?" Sunburst said.
"Tidepool Toccata is going to cast Blink." Adagio said. She quickly jotted a note down on a slip of paper and passed it to Sunburst. Sunburst inspected it in a blink, then nodded.  
Dangle, finally patting off his vest and hair as they sizzled, had only taken his eyes off Tidy's rear for a brief second, and now it was gone. 
"Easy come, easy go, I guess." Dangle said.
"I told you! I told you not to trust that hippogriff!" Hillbreaker roared.
"Yeah, yeah, you were right. Drinks're on me when we get back to the tavern for that."
"We are not going back to the tavern! We've barely made any progress in this place as it is!" Hillbreaker said.
"Hillby, honey, we'll have plenty of time to argue about this when we're dead. Can I count on you to prevent that from happening!?" Dangle said, hastily tuning his lute.
"Fine, fine, but whatever you're going to do, bard, you had better do it quickly!" Hillbreaker said.
"Right." Dangle said, sitting cross legged on the stony floor. 

"Alright, Buck. What've you got?" Sunburst said.
"Oh yes, I'm sure we're all dying to see your ace in the hole, Buck." Adagio said.
"I'm going to cast Sleep. If I perform it right now, will I get inspiration?" Buck said, taking the beat up old guitar in his hands.  
"What, seriously?" Scoots said.
"...I'll allow it. Do you want to burn that inspiration right now?" Sunburst said.
"Nah, I'm gonna keep it in my back pocket." Buck said, tapping his nose.
"Are you seriously about to sing, right now? I've never heard you sing!" Scoots said, clapping and bouncing in her seat.
"What, seriously? How does that even happen? Man, you're right, we do gotta hang more, Scoots." Buck smiled. 
"Do you know how to play that thing, Buck?" Adagio said, gently.
"I can play a few songs! Like...like three or four." Buck said. 
"Well, Buck, how about this. If you perform the song, then Dangle will play it out, and it will take a turn to cast the spell. But, if you do it like that, you'll get to roll with advantage!" Sunburst said.
"What? Oh, come on! How is that fair!?" Quibble shouted.
"Same team! So I guess I'm gonna sing it on my next turn then?" Buck said. 
"Yep. Top of the round! Hillbreaker, what have you got?" Sunburst said.
"Total defense, Action Surge, Second Wind." Quibble said.
"How many Action Surges do you even have?" Buck asked.
"That was my last one for the day." Quibble said.

Almost every time a head struck, it was turned away by Tidepool's bubbles of force, or Hillbreaker's intercepting shield, but the acid was splashing over the earth pony and steadily wearing him down. It was only a matter of time before his defenses would buckle. "Bard, if you're sitting down for a nap, I swear I'll kill you myself!" Hillbreaker grumbled.
"I'm warming up! Don't break my focus, Hillby!" Dangle hummed. His eyes were closed as his fingers wandered over the familiar strings of his guitar. "Don't listen to him, baby, we've got this..." Dangle cooed at the frets. Concerned looks from around the table surrounded Buck as he kissed the top of the old guitar. 
Meanwhile, Chillwing was flying down into a dark green abyss. There had been a series of slots near the top of the ziggurat's staircase from which the viney heads of the guardian were coming from. Chillwing followed her ears, eye closed until she was confronted with a frantic beat that reverberated in her skull. Before the curious batpony there was a closed off chamber filled with vines, all emanating from a beating heart that looked more rosebud than flesh. She brandished her flame blade and charged forward, but the thrashing of the beast caused the chamber to rock and rumble, and Chillwing was sent careening into the wall instead of striking true. Every time the batpony got to her hooves, she was thrown straight off them again by the thrashing chamber, all the while the thin vines around the heart began to stir and hiss like cobras. "Damn! Dangle, whatever you're going to do out there, you had better do it fast!" Chillwing said, to no one in particular. 

Adagio passed another note to Sunburst, who nodded and spoke up. "Tidepool is nowhere to be found, meanwhile the heads of the guardian continue to come after Dangle and Hillbreaker out at the side of the spring. So far, Hillbreaker has managed to keep you alive, Buck, but he's taking a heavy beating. It's now or never; you've got the stage." Sunburst said.
"'dagio, can I borrow a hankie?" Buck said, eyes sparkling with mischief.
"Whatever for, Buck?" Adagio said, passing him a handkerchief.
"Oh, you know; drama." Buck said.
"Remember, you've got advantage!" Sunburst said.
"Right." Buck rolled the two dice at once, and as they came to rest just in front of the GM's screen, Buck quickly placed the handkerchief over them. "I'm gonna play it, now. And Scoots, when I finish, I want you to reveal the rolls, alright?" Buck said.
"You got it, Buck!" Scoots said, stars in her eyes. Adagio crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow to Buck. She would remember this. 
"Here we go." Buck said.
*PLUNK*
"Shit! Hold on."
*SPLANG*
"Hold on."
*SPLANG*
"Fucking...hold on, hold on..." Buck said.
Buck's fingers fumbled blindly in the dark as they searched desperately for the chords they were looking for. After a few tries, by some miracle of fate, Buck found those chords, and let out a breath. 

https://soundcloud.com/user-172575235/dream-a-little-dream-of-me-bucks-cover

"Got it. Alright, here we go." He strummed out a sweet and steady old tune. He sang.
"Stars shining bright above you.
Night breezes seem to whisper, I love you.
Birds singing in the sycamore tree,
Dream a little dream of me..." 
This was different. Buck's voice was sweet and playful as Adagio expected, but it was also tender and gentle. Adagio had marked Buck as a baritone during karaoke, but now she wasn't sure. His range was higher and wider than she thought. The song sounded like a soft hand stroking a cat's back at sunset, or a first kiss on the last night of summer.
"Say nighty-night and kiss me.
Just hold me tight and tell me, you'll miss me.
When I'm alone and blue as can be...
Dream a little dream of me."
Or a lullaby. Of course it would be. Why would Adagio think otherwise? Buck's eyelashes fluttered as he crooned, caught in the musician's trance. The world seemed to sway and rock to the melody. 
"Stars fading but I'll linger on, dear! 
Just craving your kiss.
I'm longing to linger til' dawn, dear.
Just saying this..."
Scootaloo was absolutely enraptured; hands clasped over her mouth. Sunburst bounced his head slowly to the song, while Quibble Pants blinked groggily. Adagio looked over to the couch where Starlight Glimmer had been pretending to ignore them all evening, and couldn't see her peeking. Adagio's own eyelids grew heavy. 
"Sweet dreams til' sunbeams find you.
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you.
But in your dreams; whatever they be,
dream a little dream of me..." 
Time seemed to get caught in a haze of distant stars for just a moment, then Adagio blinked, and Buck had already finished the refrain. His voice trailed away, and his head drooped into about a quarter of a bow, then he smiled at Scootaloo. "Alright Scoots! Show us what I rolled!" Buck said. 
"You got it!" Scoots pulled the curtain up to reveal...a seven.
And an 18! 
"HOLY SHIT! That would'a been real embarrassin' if I ballsed up the roll!" Buck said, wiping his brow. Adagio clapped incredulously, while Scootaloo clapped with twice the enthusiasm. 
"Buck! That was crazy, how'd you learn to sing like that? Can you teach me? Can you teach me how to sing!?" Scootaloo said, bouncing in her seat.
"...didn't you do lead vocals for the crusaders back in the day, Scoots?" 
"Can we focus?" Quibble Pants yawned. 

Dangle rose as his song trailed up to the ceiling. Before his eyes, to the shock of Hillbreaker, the guardian of the underground spring's many heads had settled on the edge of the water. They were snoring their way through a blissful slumber.
"...I can't believe that worked." Hillbreaker grumbled.	
"Well, anyway, here's Wonderwall." Dangle said, but Hillbreaker put a hoof to the guitar strings before the bard could start strumming again. "Hah! Sorry, couldn't resist." Dangle flopped onto his back, chuckling. 
"Where in the hell did that coward witch blinker off to? She and I need to have some words." Hillbreaker said. His shield was partway dissolved, as was his armor. The shielding bubbles that had protected Hillbreaker and Dangle were gone, and somehow, Dangle had come through the battle relatively unscathed.

"Actually, yeah, where the hell did Tidy go?" Buck said to Adagio. He looked to his left and saw a vicious grin. 

The ziggurat had finally finished bouncing and crashing around. The vines in the heart chamber lashed out at Chillwing, but the batpony was far too swift and dexterous to be touched by them. She brought the blazing scimitar; her new best friend, around in a sweeping arc, and just as it was about to slash the great glowing bud cleanly in twain, it puttered out of existence. Chillwing peeled herself off the wall, looking around.

"Hey, what gives!?" Scoots said. 
"Tidepool broke her concentration and let the spell peter out." Sunburst shrugged, putting the note down. 
The table went silent.

"Well, well, well, little birdie, I must commend you for your performance!" Chillwing blinked, and suddenly Tidepool Toccata was standing across from her in the chamber of crawling vines. She had a knife drawn, and seemed to be shaving some plant matter off the pulsating bud in the center.
"Wait, you teleported in here...? You could have done that at any time!?" Chillwing balked.
"Oh, of course, but I would have had a much harder time getting in without all of you to draw the guardian's attention, let alone the vines in here. I must say, I underestimated you, little birdie~" Tidepool said. She collected the petals that she had shaven off the great pink bud. Vines came hissing toward the hippogriff, but purely by reaction, Chillwing slashed them to ribbons as they passed her by. "You've been extremely useful. I think I might be growing fond of you..." Tidepool purred. She took the phial in her wing and secreted it into her saddle bag, backing up to the edge of the chamber. "And besides, I didn't want to lose every living trace of this magnificent creature after it was immolated."
"Immo...im...you mean burnt up? But you just got rid of my sick flaming sword!" Chillwing said. 
"Well, yes, of course I did! After all, I wanted to make sure." Tidepool said. She took her staff in claw and pointed it toward the bud. A white hot orb of light gathered at the tip, expanding into a rictus, fanged face with two blazing eyes. Tidepool smirked at Chillwing.
"Make sure of what?" Chillwing said, shrinking back.
"I wanted to make sure there was nothing left but ash. You might want to get clear, darling." Tidepool said.
"Hey, hey, wait, let's not be too hasty! You didn't even rhyme this time!" Chillwing said, frantically flapping toward the way she came in.
"Sue me." Tidepool shrugged.
Adagio threw a handful of dice at the table.

The sound of a miniature apocalypse quaked the entire chamber. Hillbreaker raised his thoroughly ruined shield to protect from whatever high explosive had just detonated, and took a few pebbles in the face for his trouble. 
Dangle rolled over onto his belly and covered his head. A small, charred form came screaming like a literal bat out of hell and landed on his back. Chillwing rolled off Dangle and onto the floor, coughing up black soot. 
"Chillwing? Chillwing, what the hell happened in there? Are you okay!?" Dangle said. Hillbreaker, for his part, was lamenting the fact that the fanged head made of vegetation that he was to claim as a trophy was now a smoldering pile of burned leaves and singed stone. And so were the other heads...and so was the ziggurat. The rattling of ancient and rusted chains broke through the ringing in Dangle's ears, and he looked over the side of the spring to see the water rapidly running out of it and into a set of grates on either side of the pool. It looked like they were tunnels. The quick way out that Tidepool had mentioned? Where the hell was Tidy's sweet ass? There was no way in the Nine Hells that Chillwing had caused that explosion. 
As if summoned by the bard's own dirty thoughts, Tidepool Toccata appeared between Dangle and Hillbreaker, entirely unharmed and unsinged. 
"Oh, there you are. Say, uh, what in the name of Celestia's shiny codpiece was that fucking explosion!?" Dangle said. 
"Oh, that was a little known spell called "Fireball." I had to make sure the guardian was dead. And it is! Reduced to dry kindling, and oh, would you look at that! I've secured our exit as well, how very kind of me, wouldn't you say?" Tidy smiled.
"But you crispified Chillwing in the process! She looks like a batpony briquette!" Dangle gestured.	
"I'm okaaaaay....I dodged it...only took half of all those d6's..." Chillwing groaned. Dangle had never seen someone do a shaky thumbs up with a bat wing before, but there was a first time for everything. Tidy shrugged.
"Occupational hazard. She's a rogue! She's used to things exploding when she touches them!" 
"Gi....giggity..." Chillwing mumbled.
"Okay...well...well shit, I guess that's a job well done, then. Come on, team! Let's have Tidy guide us out of this musty place so we can go back to town and get some drinks! And burn cream! But mostly drinks. And a bed. Gods, I could use a bed." 
"Yes, we could. I'm glad you agree." Tidy said, turning toward the stream at the bottom of the hole that took up half the room.
"Ah, grade 'A' flirtation. Goes down smooth." Dangle said. "Oh, hang on." Dangle plucked a few strings, then a floating disk of force elevated Chillwing and followed behind Dangle like a balloon on a string. 
"Mm, I hope that you do as well, Mr. Puppycakes." Tidy said.
"Hold it right there! Have you people gone crazy!? We just made our first real progress in this place in the last two weeks and you want to just turn around and go back to the inn!?" Hillbreaker said. He stamped a hoof, and Dangle could swear the room shook just a little bit. 
"Yeah. I got blisters on these fingers, Chillwing is a fucking yule log, your shield and armor are all banjaxed, and I just became sober! We need to get some rest that's not on a stony floor or a tiled hallway! Beds! Drinks! Women! Did you forget what the outside world is like? It's only been a little while."
"That's my point; we need to keep moving on. We can rest and you can heal. Think; the more we wait, the more powerful Skullgore gets! Lives are at stake, man!" Hillbreaker said.
"Perhaps the stone pony has a point..." Tidy slid in.
"Yeah, lives are definitely at stake. Ours. We're all exhausted." Dangle said.
"Oooh, but then again; soft pillows and tight squeezes..." Tidy instigated.
"No. We need to get this done. With that insane sea witch, we can fast track our way to Skullgore and finish him off already!" Hillbreaker said. 
"Or we could kick his door in and then collapse from exhaustion! You wanna do the skeleton dance for the rest of your un-life? No? Then let's get the hells out of here and regroup!" Dangle said. He turned away from Hillbreaker, and the head of a maul thumped to the ground next to him. "You...don't want to do this, honey." Dangle said. 
"No, I think I do. I've been listening to your fluffy, smarmy ass blow hot air through every step of this trip, and I'm sick of it. If I break your legs, you can at least still play the lute. I'll just have to drag you." Hillbreaker rumbled.
"I'm telling you, Hillby. You don't want to dance this dance with me. I'm a bard, for fuck's sake." Dangle said, motionless.
"Yeah? So what? What are you going to do, seduce my maul? What can a bard really do, runt?"
"Well, I can spout interesting trivia for one thing." Dangle sighed. "For instance; did you know that my steel guitar counts as a heavy club? EL KABONG!" Dangle screamed.

"Do I get a surprise round on him?" Buck said.
"No, I think it's fair to say he was expecting cartoonish retaliation." Sunburst said. Buck tossed his d20 at the table.
"Doesn't matter, 'cause I got an 19 total!" Buck said.
"Hah! My AC is 21!"
"Your AC is 21 with your shield." Sunburst said.
"Yeah, so?" Quibble said.
"So, your shield is destroyed, Boulderbro." Buck said. 

*SPLANG*
Dangle's steel guitar collided with the side of Hillbreaker's head and actually sent the stony earth pony stumbling a bit. It had been a hard battle, after all, and he was already under half HP when it started.  Dangle disengaged, then. He knew better than to be in the splash zone when Hillbreaker started swinging. This was a mistake.

"I charge at him!" Quibble shouted, throwing his dice at the table. He didn't bother scooping, this time. "I want to bash him into the dry spring!" Quibble said.
"Wha-you're going to take the fall damage too you fucking idiot!" Buck said.
"Yeah, but I can take it!" Quibble said. "16! I hit!"
And off the cliff Dangle and Hillbreaker went. An acrobatics roll was thrown and scooped. Hillbreaker managed to leave only a small crater in the base of the spring. He was clearly worse for wear, but he picked himself up and readied his maul once more. Hillbreaker looked up to see Dangle floating down at about a 4th of the speed with which Hillbreaker had hit the ground. 
"I have Feather Fall, you silly bitch!" Dangle said. 
"Oh for the love of-sea witch! Support!" Hillbreaker barked. 

At the top of the cliff, Tidy reached into her saddle bag and produced the healing potion she had started the game with. She gave it a limp-wristed toss into the dry spring, in Dangle's direction. There was the sound of a cork being popped, then Dangle saying "Thanks, babe!" followed by Hillbreaker shouting a string of especially obscene words in the language of giants. 
"Aren't you going to stop this...?" Chillwing said from her floaty disc.
"And put an end to all the fun? " Tidy said, sitting on the edge of the cliff.
"...can you at least turn the disc so I can watch too?" Chillwing whined. Tidy grabbed the edge of the floating disc and gave it a pull. Chillwing frowned while the disk spun around like a rolling chair.
"You are the absolute worst." Chillwing grumbled, while at the table, Adagio tried not to laugh. 

A foursome of magical darts that were very definitely in the shape of erect pony penises smacked Hillbreaker about the face. "Hah! Magic Missile!" Dangle said as he got close to the ground. The round reset.
"Oh, nuts to this." Hillbreaker grumbled. He hurled a javelin at Dangle. A toss. A scoop. Another 16. 
"Is anyone else seeing this? For real?" Buck said, gesturing at Quibble. 
The javelin struck Dangle in the shoulder, pinning him to the stone wall behind him. 
"Oh come on!" Dangle shouted. He coughed up blood. Hillbreaker trotted up to Dangle, a smug look on his face.
"Do you surrender, bard?" Hillbreaker said.
"Oh yeah, sure, let me think about it, uh-EL KABONG AGAIN, BITCH!" Dangle screamed.

"I'm gonna use that Inspiration, now." Buck said. A d20 was rolled, as was a d4. 
"Oof, you needed that!" Scootaloo said. She was munching on the gummy worms that Buck had gotten her, despite her previous protest. 
"That's a 19 on the dot, Buck. Well done!" Adagio said. 

*SPLANG* 
Dangle's steel guitar sang it's song of fury as it went right upside Hillbreaker's head. 
"Hah! Not bad for a one armed runt, huh!? I knew those years of jerking it in Bard school would come in handy!" Dangle said. This time, Hillbreaker nearly keeled over entirely, but he caught himself mid-fall, snarling at Dangle.
"I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!" Hillbreaker roared.

"I take my maul and I smash that fucking guitar!" Quibble shouted.
"Oh, you bitch!" Buck screamed, rising from his seat, teeth gritted. Adagio had to duck her head out of the way to not get smacked by the arm of the guitar that was hanging from Buck's shoulder. 
Quibble lifted his dice. "What's the AC on a non-magical small object?" Quibble growled.
"It's, uh...well, it's hollow, but it's made of steel, so I'm going to say you'll need to hit a 14 and do about 10 damage to smash it." 
"Easy." Quibble said. He tossed the hit and damage dice for his maul, then when he went to scoop them, Buck snatched the man's wrist with a speed that shocked Adagio. 
"Let them sit on the fucking table, Quibble." Buck said. Quibble looked terrified for a half second, then his eyes snapped down and he smiled. It was a 15 for the hit, and the damage was a full 12. 

The maul crashed into the guitar like a meteorite and shattered Dangle's lighthearted countenance. Dangle screamed like his leg had been chopped off and let his head drop, a tear rolling down his cheek. 
"There. I killed your stupid fucking guitar. Now, do you yield, bard? Or do I have to break something else?" Hillbreaker was just as bloodied and twice as exhausted. He dropped his maul to the side, it's work done.
"That was my father's guitar, you limp dicked chunk of talc...!"   
"Ooooh...are you gonna cry, now?" Hillbreaker laughed.
"I AM GOING TO RUIN YOUR FUCKING LIFE!" Dangle screamed. 

The table was silent. Cringing. It was a fair guess that none of them save for maybe Sunburst had heard Buck yell so loud before. Starlight startled out of her slumber and rolled off the couch. Everyone looked shocked, even Adagio. Everyone but Scoots. Scoot's eyes were wide, but behind the hands in front of her face, she had a small smile. 
Buck reached into the backpack next to his chair, and produced a bag made of chainmail, sealed with a purple ribbon. He plonked it onto the table and started rattling around in it with his hand. He didn't break eye contact with Quibble. He produced a d20 that looked smoky and dark blue like a storm cloud. 
"Oh, wow. I know this one. That's Buck's lucky d20." Sunburst said. Buck nodded, kissed the d20, then closed his eyes. He tossed the dice onto the table. Surreptitiously, Adagio twirled a glowing finger behind her back. The dice landed and came to a stop. Buck opened his eyes, and Adagio saw an epic tale play out behind them. Finally, for this moment, Adagio could see Buck. Who he truly was. The smarmiest smirk that Adagio had ever seen outside of a mirror curled up on Buck's face, and the thirst in his eyes was unspeakable. Adagio rose. She didn't know why. Perhaps it was deference, perhaps she simply thought it appropriate.
"Sunburst. You wanna confirm that, for me?" Buck said.
The dice had landed on 20. Adagio's hand touched the small of Buck's back. He didn't react. Even Starlight Glimmer was watching, now.
"That's a natural 20. But what are you going to do with it, Buck?" Sunburst said. Adagio could see that he already knew the answer. Here was a familiar smile. A private message between siblings. Buck's grin spread triumphantly across his face.
"Vicious Mockery." Buck said. 

Dangle's eyes spoke a tale of conquest and blood. Of destruction and turmoil and trauma. And endless victories. He reached, one-handed into the front pocket of his dandy vest. And produced a little notebook.

At the table, Buck pulled from his backpack a small, nondescript notebook with a leather cover. As he raised it up and undid the little latch, Adagio could see that there were words written on the front in white paint, in a careful, calligraphic cursive. The notebook read; "Truly Heinous Yo Mama Jokes."
"Are you being fucking serious right now!?" Quibble said.
Buck looked a Quibble, unblinking. He flipped through a few pages, then read one, smiled, and ripped it out. As he spoke, he tossed the page to the ground.

Dangle cleared his throat. The page he had torn out began to smolder and catch flame.
"Yo mama's so fat she brought a sleeping bag to pizza hut!" Dangle said.
A chunk of the ruined ziggurat nearby suddenly burst as if detonated from the inside. 
"What in the world...?" Hillbreaker said, incredulously.
"Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born yo grandmama was arrested for bestiality!"
It was like a whip crack. A sonic boom that crashed into the side of Hillbreaker's face. A tooth went flying. 

"Hey, wait, keep it in character, Buck! This is O&O!" Sunburst said.
"Right, right, my bad. Here." Buck said.

Dangle tore the javelin from his shoulder and took a stomp toward Hillbreaker.
"Yo mama's so dirty they called her taint Tartarus!" Dangle said. The ground cracked beneath his feet. Hillbreaker was belted again, in the opposite direction.
"Yo mama's so fucking stupid she made a Mind Flayer starve!" 
A burst of force knocked Hillbreaker on his ass. A chunk of his breastplate disintegrated.
"Yo mama's so ratchet a changeling won't impersonate her!" Another page torn out, set ablaze as it was used. Dangle delicately stepped over his ruined guitar to scream at Hillbreaker. 
"Yo mama's so lazy she got a negative initiative score!" Now it was like Hillbreaker was being lifted by invisible hands and just as quickly getting dunked directly into the stony ground. A new crater was forming under him. 
"Yo mama's so fat she beat the tarrasque at a pie eating contest!" 

"Why does he have so many of these...?" Adagio mumbled. This spectacle was beginning to feel like something between a standup routine and a slaughterhouse. She felt a hand on her arm, and saw Scootaloo slowly shaking her head. She was right. They dared not stop Buck now. 

"Yo mama's so fat she needs to cast Feather Fall when she rolls outta bed!" Dangle screamed. Hillbreaker was barely conscious, looking like he had gotten into a fist fight with his own maul, but Dangle was holding him by the edge of his ruined gorget, yelling directly into his face. 
"Yo mama's so ugly she turned a beholder into a don't-look-at-her!" An invisible strike like that of a giant's club. Hillbreaker's armor was starting to look like crushed aluminum.
"Yo mama so old, liches keep askin' for her number!" Dangle dropped Hillbreaker then walked a few paces before turning around. "IT'S FUCKING SEVEN!" Another titanic crash. Dangle walked away from Hillbreaker, who at this point was groaning and writhing in pain in a small crater that was starting to fill with his own blood and tears. 
Dangle tore one last page from his notebook, tossing it over his shoulder. It landed on Hillbreaker's quivering chest, slowly being reduced to embers.

"Your mother has a job and is a contributing member of the kingdom." Buck said.
"What?" Quibble said.
"As a CR0 NPC." Buck finished.

Another explosion sound rocked the chamber, but it was accented by honking horns, confetti cannons going off, and an obnoxiously deep voice saying "OH DAMN". The crater that Hillbreaker was laying in was pounded into a burning impression of a giant hand flashing a giant middle finger.

"You take 20 psychic damage, Hillbreaker." Sunburst said.
"Non-lethal." Buck said, sitting down.

"Hey, hey Tidy! You wanna help me scrape Hilby off the ground and load him onto the disc!?" Dangle shouted up at the rim of the spring. Tidy pushed the disc over the edge, and as Dangle watched it gently float down with Chillwing, the sorcerous hippogriff appeared at his side. She was about to speak, probably to flirt or exult the bard, but his doggy ears were down at his skull and there was no wag in his tail. He lifted the pieces of his broken guitar and gingerly wrapped them in a bit of cloth from his bag, then he stood.
"I need a flagon of mead." Dangle said.
"WAAAAAAGH!" Hillbreaker came screeching at Dangle, spear in hoof, ready to pierce the diamond dog's heart from behind.
A dice was rolled.
Hillbreaker clattered to the ground in a heap. Behind him, holding a now bloodied brick from the ziggurat, was Chillwing, who gave Dangle a thumbs up before collapsing in the other direction.
"Sneak attack." Chillwing mumbled.

Several hours and several more flagons later, Hillbreaker awoke at a table in the Inn that this whole adventure had started at. By the lack of light from outside, it looked like it was around the time that the bar usually closes.
"And I says; Didja hear about the windigo that stood up her date? I guess you could say she got...cold feet!" Dangle said, from across the table. The table groaned as he put his feet up, as did the other party members.
"They don't even have feet!" Tidy seethed. 
"And what's the deal with Griffon food!?" Dangle started.
"STOP." Chillwing blurbled from the bowl of stew she was trying to drown herself in. 
Dangle's ruined spell focus sat in the middle of the table on a tarp, it's strings splayed out like a dead spider, it's body cracked in half. Hillbreaker winced. Not because of the guitar, but because he had just recently suffered through about four more concussions than was recommended by his local cleric. 
"Ughhh...I feel like I got stepped on by a hill giant..." Hillbreaker groaned.
"More like stepped on by yo mama, Hillby." Dangle said.

"Four points of psychic damage." Sunburst said.

"We're at the Inn, which is where the party agreed to go. We were waiting for you to wake up so we can go over the plan for the next run at the dungeon." Tidy said. She looked no different from before, her mane waving and sparkling in an constant invisible breeze. 
"Yeah, and taking baths and getting healed, and eating food and stuff!" Chillwing said, coming up for air. She was no longer covered in soot.
"Healed? Well...why am I still beaten up?" Hillbreaker grumbled through his aching head, ribs, and everything else.
"Because we haven't decided what to do with you, and I didn't want to take any chances on you turning on us again. Look, Hillby." Dangle said.
"Hillbreaker."
"Magnus. Listen. I'm not going to apologize for beating your asshole inside out, but I will apologize for throwing your ideas out. I get it. You have a legacy to uphold as a pony who gets things done, and it is important that we take down the douchebag lich Skellebrimbor, or whatever." Dangle said.

"You are definitely doing that on purpose!" Starlight shouted from the couch.

"Point is, I don't disagree with your bottom line, but you're out of your damn pebble filled mind if you think we're going to try and shotgun an entire fucking liches' lair in one go. If you want to kill yourself like that, I've heard of worse ways to do it, involving gelatinous cubes. Or parasprites. But none of us want to die in there, so we're going to take breaks and space out our expeditions like sensible grave robbers!" Dangle said. "We're not made of fucking stone, Hillby." 
Hillbreaker gave Dangle a flat look. Tidy giggled.
"So are you down to be a team player? Even if you say no, we'll heal you up as long as you sign this restraining order." Chillwing said. 
"I personally couldn't care less. You seemed competent until you turned traitor. You have a lot to prove." Tidy said, crossing her arms. 
"...If you swear that we're going to get this mission finished, then I'll play along." Hillbreaker said, finally. The group voiced their approval. "Now will you heal me, already? Several things are bleeding inside of me." 
"Nope." Dangle said.
"What do you mean 'nope'!?" Hillbreaker thundered.
"What is sounds like. Nope. There's one order of business to attend to, first." Dangle gestured to his destroyed focus in the middle of the table. "You're footing the bill for this." Dangle said.
"Eeargh, fine, fine, just grab a few gold pieces out of my pack, alright?" Hillbreaker said. Dangle reached in and grabbed a small handful of golden bits. 
"And what do we say?" Tidy hummed.
"I'm sorry for breaking your spell focus..." Hillby mumbled.
"Good boy." Tidy said, patting his head. 
"There we go. All's well that ends well, I always say!" Dangle said. He rose from the table and stretched his arms.
"You've literally never said that until today. Chillwing said.
"And Hillby?" Dangle said, leaning over the earth pony as Tidy began casting a healing spell.
"What." Hillbreaker said. 
"If you ever fuck with me like that again, I will erase your name from fucking history.  I will write a children's rhyme called 'Hillby The Traitor' and children will sing of your stubborn idiocy for long after your bones have turned to dust. Your children's children will be known as the descendants of Hillby the fucking traitor and I will make sure you understand the full, abominable weight of that state of being before I allow you, finally, to die of despair." Dangle said. Tidy and Chillwing and Hillbreaker all looked at him as if his head had sprouted wings.
"That's what a bard can do." Dangle said, winking. Then he put the coins away, wiggled his fingers over his steel guitar, and cast Mending.

Back at the table, Buck was standing over Quibble Pants. The two men were glaring daggers at each other, and Adagio was sitting there, biting her lip, just the same as Scootaloo was, wondering what would happen next. She hadn't had to cast a spell at all after the break. The two men looked ready to start trading blows. 
"Uh...guys?" Sunburst said. 
Buck and Quibble pants shook hands and smiled. Then their handshake became harder and more violent, and the two of them threw their heads back and started laughing hysterically.
"I told you! Didn't I tell you guys? Adagio is great at this! She fucking came in here and shook everything up! Holy shit what a good fucking game!" Buck said. He slumped back into his chair, patted Adagio on the shoulder. He tasted like sweet lemonade and taffy and perhaps a bit of whisky. All of his hostility had evaporated into the ether.  
"And that's tonight's game! Everyone levels up, and everyone gets a point of inspiration to carry into the next session!" Buck and Quibble Pants high fived, Adagio grinned and Scoots quietly began working on her character sheet.

The rest of the table talk passed amicably, and after thanking Sunburst for hosting, Adagio and Buck took their leave.
"You're bein' extra clingy tonight. Any particular reason why?" Buck smiled. Adagio had been holding his hand under the table since the end of the fight and now she was hanging off his arm. 
"Oh, I'm just surprised at you, that's all. But more to the point, I'm waiting." Adagio said.
"Yeah?" Buck said.
"Wouldn't you say I've been on my 'best behaviour', Buck?" Adagio said. 
"Hmm...yeah, mostly. You done good, 'dagio." Buck smiled. The elevator dinged. They waited.
"And...?" Adagio said. Her finger traced little circles on Buck's ass as she pressed her breasts against his arm.
"Well...what do you want for a reward, Adagio? You still haven't told me what you want to do for our other date." Buck said. Adagio frowned. 
"Hmm..." Adagio hummed. This again. She had to have a hobby to present to Buck, she just didn't know what it could be. Something they could both enjoy that she could easily fake for a day. 
"I want in!" Scootaloo said. Her arm was stopping the elevator door. With some difficulty, she squeezed inside.
"What? What are you doing here?" Adagio said.
"How did you catch up so fast?" Buck mumbled.
"Sprinter, Buck. She's a sprinter. Try to keep up. What do you want, Scootaloo?" Adagio said.
"Look, it's obvious you guys are getting up to something, and I wanna be part of it!" Scoots panted.
"We're not-" Buck started, but Adagio pinched his lips together and smiled.
"And why exactly should we let you play with the grownups , little birdie~?" Adagio said.
"Because I'm booooored!" Scootaloo whined. "And, and because if you don't, you'll be proving that you really are intimidated by me! So there!" Adagio turned slowly to Buck, and he saw the eyes of a god of mischief. And blood. She smiled at him sweetly all the same. 
"So it's a challenge, then. Buck, I've decided on what my reward will be." Adagio said. Wickedness dripped from the tip of her tongue. She licked her lips.
"Oh no." Buck said.
"For my reward, I would like you to break her. With your cock." Adagio said. Buck's jaw dropped. Scootaloo covered her face, which was now far more red than orange. Buck put his hands before his face in a prayer position. He looked down at Adagio's gleeful smile.
"Woman." Buck grumbled.
"Yes, Buck?" Adagio purred.
"...what in the Name of CHICKEN FRIED TARNATION-"

In Sunburst's suite, a small object in Starlight Glimmer's back pocket began to vibrate and glow. The sensing talisman she had planted on Buck during their little talk was working.
"A spike of magical energy around Buck's location. Adagio is up to something." Starlight said. 
"Are you sure she's not just letting off some steam? She was very restrained tonight." Sunburst yawned. 
"She's up to something, Sunburst. And I'm going to find out what. Come on. I bugged her bedroom so we can monitor what's going on." Starlight said. She opened a door marked "Study Room" in Sunbursts' suite.
"You did what!?" Sunburst said.
"Whatever she's got going on, I'm going to get to the bottom of it. I have reason to believe that she's keeping a spell source in her bedroom, but I couldn't find it when I checked around. It wouldn't be at her work, and it wouldn't be at Sugar Cube Corner, or Buck's apartment." Starlight said. She stepped into a room that was primarily dominated by books that had little in common with one another. On the far wall was a writing desk covered in notes, and just above it was a corkboard covered in pins and connecting strings. 
"Starlight, this is getting out of hand. I think Buck is right; Adagio isn't trying to do anything nefarious. She's mean, sure, but she's just drinking in Buck's emotions because she needs them to live. If you would just give her a chance, you might see eye to eye." Sunburst said. Starlight sat heavily in her rolling chair and set out a few trinkets. She began writing symbols and runes on the table in chalk.
"Sunburst, she's a monster from another dimension. We can't afford to sleep on her, because if she gets out of control, it's the city that's going to suffer." Starlight said. She set a cup of coffee down on the desk.
"I just don't like all this cloak and dagger. We're not spies, Starlight, and I'm not going to spy on Buck." Sunburst said.
"...I understand, Sunburst. I get it, but we're the only defenders that Canterlot has right now. Buck didn't want to play ball, so I'm doing what I need to. Every piece of information I can get about Adagio is a potential weapon we can use against her." Starlight said.
"Well, didn't you say you heard Buck asking Adagio to behave? She was restrained and almost respectful at the table. You have to at least note that she's making progress. She was genuinely good all night." Sunburst said. He draped a blanket around Starlight's shoulders, kissing her forehead. As he closed the door behind him, he heard Starlight mumble.
"The night is still young."
> ((Explicit)) Chapter 13 - Fear and Delight (The Correspondents)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Starlight Glimmer was used to being late to the party. She had been behind on most endeavors in her life, in a variety of different ways. In the study room of Sunburst's suite, Starlight Glimmer yawned. The specific late it was at the moment was late at night.
How long had Starlight Glimmer been at this? Whenever she yawned in the middle of her work, this thought would rattle around in her head like a ball bearing in a whistle. It had to have started when she met Sunset Shimmer. 
Magic had done nothing but make her miserable, and so she wanted to use it for something good. Use it to defend and to help and to heal. She remembered the lectures, and the incredible demonstrations at Sunset's hands, and then when Starlight knew that she was ready to try after she had spent weeks in study and preparation, she had reached into the ether, and the ether turned away. 
Sunset had said that she was simply having a hard time getting to grips with the theory, or the feel, but Starlight knew. She knew that this was just another failure, and when Sunset had tried to gently tell her that magical potential was different among all humans, that this force was unnatural in this world, that just because she couldn't naturally channel it, that didn't mean she couldn't harness it...well. 
It had been ugly. Starlight had gotten ugly, then loud, and then inconsolable.
The feeling of rejection on that day would always sting; a scar on her mind that just couldn't be properly treated. She had a few of those, really. Magic. Fillydelphia. Her father. 
No matter what life threw at her, Starlight Glimmer had never failed to disappoint. 
And while Starlight knew that she was indeed a disappointment, she also knew that she was cunning and analytical. She knew the theory. She could run the calculations, perfectly recall runes and calligraphy and ingredients. 
If the world had decided that Starlight Glimmer would never be a sorceress, she would be a warlock instead. 
When Starlight and Sunburst had finally reunited, things started clicking into place. She had her sources and fences, she had a safe space, and she had Sunburst, and Sunburst was brilliant in all the ways that Starlight simply wasn't. He could find things, make connections that were invisible to Starlight, and he could interpret data from the most esoteric sources.
And, as a bonus, the two of them were deeply in love. 
Starlight had no natural sway over the force of magic, and since magic was incredibly scarce in this world, it meant that she needed to get creative. With Sunburst's help, she had scoured ancient records and lore and had discovered a laundry list of materials and trinkets that could be used to channel, focus and store equestrian magic. Long-lasting and powerful somatic components were elusive and expensive, but the most basic sorts, which would disintegrate after use, could be obtained on a budget. A warlock had to be economical to get things done.
She was good at this; she needed to be. The Rainbooms were long gone; scattered around this country and others on their own private endeavors. The greatest heroes of their time had grown up and gone their separate ways, and without them, Starlight and Sunburst were the only things standing between Canterlot and the sporadic magical threats that threatened the city. 
Things had been somewhat quiet since Starlight had come back to Canterlot; a crazy magical happenstance here and a magically mutated animal there. 
She had moved in with Sunburst after about two years of living in a little rat shit apartment, and with them working and living together, she had been confident that Canterlot was safe because she made it so.
Then She had resurfaced. Adagio Dazzle. Leader of the Dazzlings. A siren. A soul-sucking monster, in other words. When she had sent after Sunset Shimmer about this, Starlight had received a weighty tome in the mail titled "Legendary Creatures of Equestria". It spoke of the sirens as three nightmarish sea creatures that drove ponies mad and bathed in pools of their blood. The book had clearly been touched by equestrian magic itself, so Starlight knew it had to have come from Twilight Sparkle. The other one; the pony Princess.  
There was so much more she didn't know. There was always more that Starlight simply didn't know. 
And she was so incredibly tired of obsessing over this bitch. 
She had just shown up out of the blue in the same hotel that Sunburst lived in, and she was dripping wet and some moron was defending her for some ungodly reason. Maybe magic, maybe idiocy; it didn't matter.
Adagio Dazzle had appeared for the second time in her life, this time right outside her door, and Starlight had thought then that the monster wanted to finish what she started. 





Adagio and her horrid brood were her first targets. Sunset had instructed Starlight simply to monitor their behavior and see how they were shaping up. She stalked them for a bit, using protective talismans to avoid being charmed, and what had Starlight found? Three washed-up C-grade celebrities trying to squeeze some affection out of their hardcore fans. 
They were doing a "tour" out in the boonies around Appleloosa. It was strange; the affection they sucked out of the audience registered as barely a trickle to Starlight's sensing talisman, and the Dazzlings hadn't made any excessive moves, but she still felt on edge. Starlight had tried confronting them, a little bit, earlier. 
They were supposed to be on the level, and Sunset had told her that they would probably be something like amicable if she just talked to them. She had tried to ask the purple one; Aria Blaze some things when she'd caught her alone while the other girls were packing their van, and Aria had grumbled a string of expletives to drive her away. Well, Starlight thought, that explains their lack of popularity.  
Even the fans were tired of them, and The Dazzlings knew. They argued about it in their van every single night. At least that's what Starlight heard when she listened in on them from the outside. They were bitchy, sure, but they were a non-threat, it seemed, and just as Starlight was breathing a sigh of relief, a particularly nasty spat between the Dazzlings had managed to crack her warding talisman. 
It was a dark and moonless night, and Starlight had tried to run to the distant Appleloosa skyline through the endless brush.

Aria Blaze was the one that caught her. She was a twin-tailed, thin-waisted woman who always wore something with ripped sleeves. She had grabbed Starlight by the collar, and then the whole world flipped, and then the purple bitch was standing above her. Her trailing, green-streaked purple twin tails reminded Starlight of her own hair, but she didn't have time to muse over that. 
First, it was a kick to the face. A crack and a squelch from Starlight's nose. Broken. As Starlight tried to staunch the blood that was rapidly ruining the front of her shirt, Aria took her by the ankle and started dragging her through the patchy terrain back to the van. The siren hadn't said a word.
Starlight begged for her life, then. She knew they were going to kill her. Rocks and broken glass and shrubbery raked at Starlight's sides, and then she was tumbled onto the cold asphalt under a street light. They were miles away from Appleloosa. Starlight was alone. She didn't know when it was she had started crying.
"Please, please don't kill me, I'm sorry, please, my name is-" Starlight whined, but Aria's hand closed her mouth and squeezed her jaw. The siren hauled Starlight up to her feet as if she were weightless. How could a woman with such thin arms be so strong? Starlight couldn't ask. She was whimpering and sobbing into Aria's hand when the siren growled in a low, husky voice. 
"I don't give a fuck who you are." Her cheeks were sunken in. "Look at me. Stop crying! Look at me." Aria said. Starlight tried to focus on Aria through her tears. "I've seen you around. You...you're not a fan, are you? No, look at that shirt; you're got no taste." Aria frowned. Her voice was somewhere between a grungy valley girl and a slasher villain. Sunset had said that Aria was a schemer like Adagio, but the most ambivalent of the three. "No, no, I know you; you were the one bugging me before! What, was me telling you to fuck off not enough!? You we're listening in on us, weren't you? So you gotta know what we are. Everybody does, now." Aria said. She took her hand away from Starlight's mouth and squeezed her wrist instead. Her grip was crushing.
"Please don't kill me, please, I won't spy again, I promise, please..." Starlight whined.
"Stop fucking crying!" Aria snarled, leaving Starlight no option other than to whimper and hold her nose. There were a lot of insects around this light post, and while they buzzed around Starlight, they gave Aria a wide berth. Like they knew to be afraid. "Like I care what you want, or what the fuck you're doing here." Aria said. Starlight yelped as Aria slapped her face. 
"Look at me, bitch. Look at me. I'm fucking starving." Aria said. A new wave of panic clutched at Starlight's throat.
"No no no, please don't eat me-" Starlight started, but her pleading caught in her throat as Aria slapped her again. 
Starlight fell backward onto the ground, clutching her stinging face. 
"If you don't SHUT THE FUCK UP I'm going to rip your fucking legs off!" Aria screamed. Aria reached into her pocket and threw something metallic at the ground in front of Starlight. "Get up." Aria growled. Starlight picked herself up off the ground, sniffling and hyperventilating and coughing.
"Now pick it up." Aria said. "I said pick it THE FUCK UP!" Starlight scrambled to grab the thing at her feet that was shining, half out of the glow of the street light. "You know what that is?" Aria said.
Starlight nodded. It was a bowie knife. Her hands shook around it. She didn't really know how to hold it. 
"Good. You might be something other than fucking useless, then. I'm starving. And you're going to feed me. So now, I want you to take that knife and try to cut my fucking throat with it. The only way you're gettin' away is if you kill me."
"No, please, I don't want to do this, please-" Aria had closed the distance in the space of a blink, and her fist had smashed into the side of Starlight's jaw. Starlight's world was dark for a blink, then her head rocked off the pavement. 
"Can't you do anything other than whine!? Get up! Get mad!" Aria shouted. Starlight rolled painfully, trying not to nick herself with the knife. One of her eyes was swelling shut. Her mouth tasted like blood. She refused to pray. It wouldn't do anything. She'd had exactly one escape plan, and if she used it now, it would never work. She got up, again. 
She was mad, honestly. She was mad at Aria for hurting her, but she was madder at Sunset for sending her out here, and mad mostly at herself for letting this happen. She tried to pull that anger together, to wad it up and throw herself with it. She stabbed and flailed with the knife in Aria's direction. She heard the bitch laugh as she stepped aside. Another slap to the face. A punch in the ribs. Aria was hitting her even harder and faster than before. 
"Theeere you go. Come on, come on, FIGHT ME!" Aria laughed. Starlight screamed and tried to stab the siren in the heart, but Aria kicked her foot out from under her, and then her chin was busted on the road. Starlight was told later that she nearly bit through her bottom lip at that moment. She hacked and gagged on her own blood. Aria was chuckling somewhere behind her, but then she suddenly stopped. 
Another one. Starlight saw that this one was Sonata. The ditzy one, according to Sunset Shimmer. Sonata looked at her as one looks at a road-kill squirrel. The distant pity hurt so much more than the bruises, Starlight thought, foolishly. Sonata's eyes were the color of crushed raspberries, her skin a ghostly blue, and her lips were up in the tiniest of smiles. 
"What'cha doin', Aria? Is this a new toy?" Sonata said, looking past Starlight.
"Yeah, and I called dibs! I'm sorta busy right now, so can I ignore you some other time, Sonata?" Aria snobbed. 
"Didn't Adagio say not to hurt anybody?" Sonata said with a tilted head.
"Please don't let her kill me! Please! I-AGGGHHH!" Starlight screamed in the wake of a cracking sound just behind her. The pain was immeasurable. She scrambled onto her back and saw a new bend in her leg. 
"Ugh. Now it's screaming. See what you made me do?" Aria said. "You ruin everything, Sonata." 
"Nuh-uh! I can fix stuff! Lookie!" Sonata said. She waved a hand, and Starlight screeched once more. A wave of bluish energy washed over Starlight's leg, and her tibia magically corrected itself. Starlight's throat was going raw. Aria was squatting over Starlight's legs, glaring at Sonata. 
"I said I called dibs, so I get to mess with it!" Aria said. Starlight saw Aria's fist raise only a couple of inches above her leg, then snap down quickly and break right through it again. Starlight had a single thought as she screamed. She couldn't let herself pass out. Who knows what they would do to her? Stay focused. Think about escape. Starlight's rational side was smothered by a fresh spike of pain as Aria effortlessly punched her ankle out of alignment. Through the haze, she could see Aria's sallow cheeks filing in. 
"Aria, cut it out, you know you're not supposed to do that!" Sonata said. She waved her hand again and Starlight's screaming caught in her throat. All she had room for was a ragged gasping sound while her fractures twisted and knitted back into place. She could see ugly purple bruises covering her leg.
"Oh yeah? What're you going to do about it, Sonata? You gonna stop me? You? Nobody's favorite?" Aria said. She crossed her arm and stomped down for emphasis. Straight down onto Starlight's knee. Starlight screamed so hard she vomited onto the asphalt. 
"At least people have an opinion about me! You're the alto; people don't even know you exist!" Sonata wiggled her fingers, then put her knuckles on her hips and stood her ground. Starlight's agonized wheezing was her only answer as her knee reset beneath Aria's heel. She spluttered the blood and bile and tears out of her mouth, her eyes darting around, looking for any obvious way out of this. She couldn't believe how weak she was. 
"Yes they do!" Aria said. She kicked Starlight right in the ribs; a cracking, brutal pain in the chest. 
"Do not!" Sonata jabbed. She seemed to forget to heal Starlight on that one. 
"Do too!" Aria said. And they bickered back and forth as Starlight tried to restrain her sobbing. 
The argument between the two sirens came to a dead stop. So did the gibbering hum of the insects all around them. Even the wind seemed to hush into a whisper until nothing but the sound of clacking heels filled the world. Starlight looked down the road.

Terror came striding out of the darkness with a set of purple stiletto heels, wide swiveling hips, and glowing red eyes. Adagio Dazzle's hair was wrapped in a twist, a silk cloth covering it. Starlight had interrupted the Dazzling's nightly routine, clearly, because Adagio had a glare on her face that only a precise but broken schedule could make. There was a bottle of water in her hand.
"What do you think you're doing? Aria, Sonata, is that the one that was spying? What are you doing to that human, there?" Adagio's voice was slow and nearly yawning. Murder waited in the rafters above this sleepy messenger, Starlight could tell.  
"Adagiooooo, she's doing it again! Aria is out here torturing people without your permission!" Sonata trilled. Her tone was almost gleeful. 
"You little rat...!" Aria growled. She took special care not to strike Starlight again, but Starlight could feel the purple-haired siren's glare bore into her. 
"And, what, Sonata, you were here teasing her? Arguing again, is that it?" Adagio said. Her tone was that of an exhausted mother at the end of the day.
"Well, well, no, Sis, I was trying to heal her up, and I was telling Aria that we don't do that stuff anymore!" Sonata simpered.
"Is that so? Because it sounded like you two were bickering, as usual." Adagio said. Was that the ghost of a smile? No, it couldn't be.
"It was just Sonata being the worst, that's all. I was out here dealing with this thing-" Aria started.
"No, no, I can see now, you were playing with your food, Aria, because--and this is in spite of my repeated warnings--you just can't seem to stop being a bitch to the poor little humans." Adagio said.
"See? Toooold ya!" Sonata said.
"Shut up, Sonata!" Aria grumbled.
"No, you!" Sonata said.
"Enough!" Adagio barked. The two sirens straightened up and went quiet. "Sonata. Heal this one. Do it properly now. Aria, go take a walk. I think I heard cows off in that field. You can entertain yourself with those, if you want, but you are not to touch any more humans without permission, understand?" Adagio said. 
"What? You can't be serious!" Aria whined.
"Did I stutter?" Adagio said, banishing Aria with a wave of the hand. 
Aria grunted and ran into the darkness off the road. Within a few seconds, the abominable sounds of cattle being slaughtered echoed on the breeze.
Starlight felt a million tiny pains as Sonata ran her hands through the air above her body. A feeling like acid rain pattered against her wounds, little droplets of arcane energy dripping from Sonata's palms. When half the work was finished, Sonata squatted down and took Starlight's hand with the gentility of a battlefield nurse. Her eyes were tender and distant. Sonata reached and ran her hand down Starlight's ruined leg, and the pain soothed into a dull ache. Then Sonata went to try and bend Starlight's leg, and Starlight screamed in agony. 
"Can't fix the leg all the way, Sis. Aria beat it up real bad..." Sonata said. 
"Will she walk again?" Adagio said.
"Probably. But not, like, good, you know?" Sonata said.
"Fair enough. Move." Adagio said. Sonata stepped aside. Now it was just Adagio looming over the barely conscious Starlight Glimmer. Adagio's eyes slid along Starlight's body briefly, then she sighed and shook her head. Her eyes met Starlights. "You'll have to excuse them; they're idiots." Adagio said. 
"Thank you for-ghhk!" Starlight began, but then the heel of Adagio's shoe pushed into her throat.
"No. Human, you will speak when I ask you direct questions. You will answer my questions, preferably. That is to say, answering my questions would be preferable for you if you want to escape this mistake you've made. Have I made myself clear?" Adagio said. Starlight nodded frantically. "Good girl." Adagio said. 
Adagio removed her foot from Starlight's throat and took a step back. She took a sip from the water bottle in her hand.
"Stand up." Adagio said. Starlight rose carefully and delicately. She could indeed stand on her busted leg now that it was healed, but it felt as if she had run a few dozen marathons on that leg alone. Her tears simply would not stop. "Who are you, human girl?" Adagio said.
"S-S-Starlight Glimmer...!" Starlight sobbed.
"Why are you spying on us, Starlight Glimmer? Tell the truth, now. I don't tolerate liars." Adagio said. her tone kept even, but there was the tiniest echo in it. "What exact information were you trying to steal?" Adagio had taken a step back, and her head tilted up to loose another yawn. Now was her chance. 
Starlight Glimmer reached into her pocket and spoke an incantation in ancient ponish. She disappeared. The talisman she had brought as a backup would stop her from being seen or heard, so all she had to do was get clear. She couldn't risk running through the field; the rustling plants would be a dead giveaway, so she simply limped down the road in the opposite direction of the Dazzlings; toward Appleloosa. Her leg hurt so fucking bad, but she wouldn't let that stop her. She had gotten away, and she was going to tell Sunset Shimmer that the Dazzlings were anything but reformed, but her thoughts ceased as she fell forward and smashed her nose on the road. She felt a light but insistent tugging on her non-abused ankle. She was being dragged back.
Starlight flipped over and frantically clawed at the rope around her leg, but her hands came away wet. It wasn't made out of fiber. It was water. She looked up, and as Adagio strode out of the shadows, Starlight saw that the water in the bottle she was carrying had formed a lasso of sorts that had snared her ankle. Her hands passed pointlessly through it as she was pulled along the ground. Adagio spun her finger in a reeling motion. 
"Oh, honey. That's three strikes. Your first mistake was spying on us." Adagio said.
"Help me! Someone please, please, anyone help me!" Starlight wailed. 
"The second was interrupting my beauty sleep." Adagio said. Starlight saw Aria Blaze step back out onto the road. Her hands and boots were coated in dripping blood. 
"And the third was thinking you could get away with just a little...hedge magic. I can smell your fear, Starlight Glimmer. You stink of desperation and terror and...something to prove. Oh, how cute!" Adagio giggled. Sonata and Aria flanked Adagio on either side. 	
"But you're in luck. I'm not like my little sister, here. I'm not going to hurt you. But you are going to answer my questions, and since you pulled that little stunt, I'm done treating you nicely." Adagio said. The whip of water lifted Starlight up into the air by her ankle. She was hanging upside down in front of the three dazzlings. Aria was grinning. Sonata was licking her lips. Adagio's smile was a thin, curling, murderous line. 
"Yes, I think you're going to tell us exactly who you work for and what your purpose here is, and then, we're going to let you go, and that will be the last we see of you. You intruded on us. You realize that, right? This is your own fault." Adagio chided. "And we are oh-so thirsty, and you are just overflowing with fear, Starlight Glimmer. So before I start our interview, I believe the girls and I are in desperate need of a drink. What do you think, girls? Dinner and a show?" Adagio said. The other Dazzlings said nothing. Aria nodded. Starlight Glimmer could do nothing but shake and mumble in terror.
"Good. Now, Starlight Glimmer, it's good that you've had time to warm up..." Adagio purred. Her eyes widened while her pupils narrowed into blood-red slits. Her teeth extended into dagger points and her jaw widened. Her hair floated about her head. When she spoke, Starlight could see that there were rows of teeth in Adagio's mouth. A strange green haze penetrated Adagio's field of vision from all sides. She thought she was out of screams. She was wrong. Adagio Dazzle's voice shook the entire world.
"LET'S HEAR YOU SING!"





Starlight awoke with a start. Her heart was threatening to beat straight out of her chest. She looked around to find she was surrounded by safe, comfortable books. Sunburst's desk was in front of her. Her corkboard. Her spell circle. Sunburst's blanket around her. 
Starlight wished that was a dream, but she ran a hand along her left leg and felt the hard metal bits just below the surface. After years of physical therapy and expensive surgeries, Starlight Glimmer could indeed run and jump and do all the things she could do before that day. But she would never do them as well as before, and she would never be without leg pain, at least a bit of it. 
Some wounds simply could not be healed all the way, no matter what you did.
Where was she? She had wished she had told Sunburst or anyone besides Sunset Shimmer about that night for that matter, but in truth, she was angry at herself then. Ashamed. 
That night...the Dazzlings had been weakened that night. Starving. That was what Adagio could do just feeding off the fear of one person and the trickles of adoration from her dwindling fanbase. The Adagio she had seen today was overflowing with magical energy. The readings seemed to indicate that it was leaking out of her at a rapid rate, but every time Starlight had cast a sensing ritual, it came back with terrifying results. Adagio had been replenishing her magic stores regularly. Maybe it was Buck, that horny idiot's affection for her, at least in part, but he was only one man, after all. He was just a patsy that she was using as a shield. Buck didn't know any better, that's all, so Starlight couldn't be mad at him.
She had seen worse things happen to people caught under the sway of corrupt magical manipulators; Buck was getting off pretty cleanly, all things considered. Things could be so much worse, and Starlight knew it was only a matter of time before they got there.
Adagio Dazzle had been the second magical menace that Starlight Glimmer had failed to stop, but she would not be the third.
"Focus, Starlight. You've got this. All you have to do is pay attention." 
If Adagio Dazzle had a spell source hidden somewhere, it could be only one of three things; a magical artifact, a portal to Equestria, or a score of kidnapped people. Options B and C would have been obvious when she checked the suite. It had to be A.
Soon, Adagio Dazzle would tap that source, and with Starlight's aura scrying spell, combined with the signature sensing talisman she had planted on Buck during game night, she'd be able to figure it out.
Adagio Dazzle was a monster. Starlight hunted monsters. This time she would be ready to strike when the time came. Things would be different.
The spell circle had been giving off a flickering glow, showing a glowing phantasmal cube of a diagram. There was a bed, a closet, a chest of drawers, and an adjoining bathroom. 
Adagio's room. Starlight had made sure not to disturb anything when she took a look around before. Adagio had to have hidden her artifact in there. It was her most secure sanctum. The only question was where? Starlight yawned, and when she finished, the illusory map had picked something up. One short figure with a yellow, glimmering aura. It was leaving a trail of ether in its wake. Adagio and her leaking faucet aura. Finally. 
But then, there was another. A taller figure, with a reddish-orange aura like a flickering flame. That had to be Buck. She had taken the poor man home with her again. What was she going to do? Probably drain him of magic, like she did whenever they kissed. This was her nightly sip of wine, then. 
Wait. What was that?
Adagio's silhouette touched Buck's, and Buck's sat on the bed. They stood and faced each other for the moment, Buck gesturing with his hands. They were talking. Adagio had a hand on her hip. Buck was shrugging. And then, Buck's silhouette made a motion with his arms that Starlight didn't recognize, exactly. It was a slow crossing of the arms in front of his stomach, then a lifting. Adagio leaned over him and put her hands on him, and pushed him down. She was on top of him. Their faces touched.
Oh. Even through her exhaustion, Starlight could see what was going on. She thought then that she should look away, then remembered that this was no time for modesty. Adagio was stripping Buck, climbing on him, kissing him. Their silhouettes tangled, and Adagio's seemed to undulate on top of Buck's for just a bit, she pulled on his top, sat up, and adjusted herself. They kissed again, this time for a bit longer, then Adagio got up and stepped out of frame. Where was she going? 
Starlight yawned. She really was tired. She had even conked out on the couch for a bit earlier during the Ogres and Oubliettes game. She'd been losing sleep because she'd been studying and scouring with Sunburst for more magical theorems or any other information that could help the cause. And she'd been making plans and backup plans to deal with Adagio. 
Adagio, besides being her usual brand of bitch, had behaved well during the game. She didn't seem to cast any magic when Starlight used a sensing spell on her; just the usual magical trickles. Buck had asked Adagio to be good...and she had. It must have been difficult for her to act like something other than a horrible little lamprey for one night. Maybe she was extra thirsty? 
The aura map shimmered, and Adagio came back into the room, but she was pushing someone along, it looked like. An aura that was light purple and wispy. Who...? No. No, no no! Oh no, she had gone with them! It was Scootaloo!
Starlight swore under her breath. Of course. Adagio was extra thirsty, and now she was preying on poor, sweet Scootaloo for her magical energy! Buck was already under her thrall, so now, like a vampire, she was moving on to new prey! They were just standing there. Adagio had her hands on Scootaloo's shoulders, but the young woman's aura was flaring and pulsing. What were they doing to her? Starlight needed to know. She frantically reached into her little box of trinkets and pulled out a small set of moth's wings. She crumbled them up in her hands, whispered the enchantment in old ponish, and sprinkled the dust over the aura map. 
Scootaloo was kneeling in front of the bed, where Buck was sitting with his legs open. Adagio was behind her.
The moth dust floated and swirled into the aura map. There was a warbling, crackling sound, like an out-of-tune theremin. Then voices.





Just a bit earlier and up several flights of stairs, Buck, Adagio, and Scootaloo were rising in a fancy elevator. Scootaloo was covering her red face. Adagio had a look of impish delight on hers. Buck on the other hand was red in the face for a different reason. Buck had just finished firing off a barrage of words that were not quite expletives which rose in pitch and ridiculousness before Buck had to stop and take a breath. Some nonsense about pushing the envelope and being a bridge too far and how in the world is your dastardly plan watching me fuck poor Scoots into a crater and Scoots why aren't you saying anything? Adagio had slowly taken Buck's hand in hers and nodded along and smiled.
Now Buck was breathing heavily. He put a hand up to his chest.
"Buck. Breathe. Didn't you tell me you had asthma? Relax." Adagio said. She rubbed Buck's back. 
"Babe, you're out of your mind. I'm not about to "break" Scootaloo. That ain't the kinda relationship we have. We're co-workers!" Buck said.
"And what of it? You two are awfully close for simple co-workers, Buck, and she has been sneaking peeks at you all night. Personally, I don't think her little play-acting yesterday was entirely facetious. Isn't that right, little birdie?"
"Wh-what!? I wasn't...I didn't-No!" Scootaloo simpered. 
"And besides, Buck, I'm thirsty." Adagio said, pouting.
"We all know that, 'dagio." Buck said.
"No, Buck, I mean I'm thirsty. You were so focused on easing me into the game yesterday and today, you didn't even bother touching me, let alone give me the adoration that I need. I'm deprived, Buck!" Adagio said. She swooned into Buck's arms and stroked his chin. "But watching you put this uppity little cherub in her place would surely make up for it..." Adagio purred. 
"It's been a day, Adagio, and you drank me twice yesterday. You're not foolin' nobody." Buck said. Adagio crossed her arms and frowned at him.
"Well, little Scootaloo's scent is still all over you from yesterday! And..." Adagio sniffed. "And Starlight Glimmer? Did you have sex with that horrible creature when I wasn't looking!?" Adagio said, reeling from Buck in horror.
"What? No, fuck no! She tried to talk at me about you during the break!" Buck blushed. 
"Oh? Is that so? Well, what did she say?"
"She asked me to spy on you, Adagio. She says you're leaking magical energy, and that you're dangerous." Buck said. The elevator dinged. Adagio hadn't let go of Buck's arm. As they walked down the hall to Adagio's suite, Scootaloo quietly followed behind.
"And? What did you say?" Adagio said. All humor had left her voice, replaced by a dripping, seething hatred.
"Whaddya think? I told her to fuck off." Buck said, glibly. "You haven't done anything wrong, hell, you've been sweet lately. I told her if she won't give you a chance, then I don't want to hear from her, period. That's all." Buck said. Adagio closed her eyes and focused. Honey and lemon. A simple, soothing flavor that was just as sweet as it was tart. Buck was telling the truth, and he was trying to soothe her at the same time. Adagio frowned. Since when was Buck her keeper? He was defending her, which meant, of course, that he wanted to keep her safe. Was he underestimating her? Did he think she couldn't handle aggressors like Starlight on her own? And then there was Scootaloo, who was clearly trying to muscle in on his schedule. Adagio's alone time with Buck during the week was under threat. Something had to be done. 
"...I don't need defending, Buck. I can handle myself." Adagio said, finally. They were inside her suite, now.
"I know that, I know. But Starlight is obviously fuckin' terrified of you. She was willing to come at me; the person closest to you right now, to try and get at you. I was just making sure she knows the score. I ain't sellin' you out. You haven't done anything wrong in the first place!" Buck said. He pulled Adagio against him and wrapped her in a hug from behind. There it was. Adagio let his love for her soak into her skin. She felt the tension slack from her shoulders. The sudden rush of serotonin and magical power made her just a bit lightheaded. 
"I'm sorry if I upset you." Buck finished.
"...I am upset. But, Buck, do you know what would cheer me up?" Adagio said. She traced a line down Buck's forearm.
"What's that, babe?" Buck said. She felt a tiny flicker of heat in him. Adagio turned and placed her hands on Buck's cheeks. She smiled as softly and sweetly as she could, and looked into his luminous golden eyes.
"Buck, it would really cheer me up if you would take Scootaloo to my bed and fuck her until she runs out of breath~" Adagio purred. Buck's face crumpled up and his creeping blush broke into a sprint across his face.
"Oh my god, Adagio, I am not taking Scoots to bed!" Buck groaned. 
"The couch, then? That's where you broke me down on our first night!" Adagio smiled.
"...No!" Buck said.
"Then how about at the breakfast nook? Remember when you-"
"Adagio, this is just...look, you know what I'm like when I get goin', okay? This's weird, and Scoots is tiny. I don't even fucking know how much I can fit in her, let alone...and you ain't even asked her what she thinks about it! Scoots, Scoots, help me out here! You're not tryin' to get fucked tonight, are you? You just wanted to hang!" Buck said, gesturing at Scoots. His Hayseed drawl was sliding back in.
"Oh, so that's what it is? You guys think I'm gonna just fall apart when big ol' Buck comes at me? I'm not made of glass! I can take him!" Scootaloo said. Her foot was tapping rapidly at the floor. She was putting on a tough face, but she was in the middle of a full-body blush.
"Scoots, I thought you were into girls?" Buck said.
"I'm bi, Buck! Do you only listen to every other word I say?" Scoots said. Adagio giggled, then stifled it as Buck gave her a sour look.
"Okay, fair, that's on me. But Scoots, come on. You're making that same face from when you said you could beat me at Third Strike. You don't have anything to prove here, s'what I'm sayin'." Buck said. "And you don't have to have sex with me to hang out, okay? I wasn't kidding yesterday about including you in more things."
Adagio could sense Buck's lust easing off as he soothed Scootaloo. That honey lemon flavor was starting to fill the room.
"That's beside the point, Buck! You said that I would get a reward if I behaved during game night, and I've chosen that reward. I want you to savage this little ingénue until she thinks twice about climbing all over you in my presence." Adagio huffed. 
"Are you serious, Adagio? Scoots was just joking, yesterday! We're not having an affair!" Buck said.
"Well, even if you were, you wouldn't be, because as you've established, we aren't 'really dating'." Adagio said, looking away. Buck started rubbing his temples.
"Adagio, I'm taking you on another date this Saturday. Or I would, if you would tell me what you want to do already, so I can budget!" Buck said. 
"Yes, and we can get to that as soon as you've reduced this one into a quivering, soaking wet mess." Adagio said. She was checking her nails, now. 
"Adagio, cut it out. You can't just launch me at girls like a dildo out of a fucking T-shirt cannon. What if I hurt Scoots?"
"You won't. You're very sweet, Buck. Too sweet. You keep underestimating the women in your life; it's sweet in one way and obnoxious in every other. It's also a weakness that you seem to guard jealously for some reason. Maybe if you have a nice, selfish tryst with a fragile little waif, you'll finally see that I can take you properly and stop holding back." Adagio said. Buck was now leaning over her, hands on his hips, while Adagio was glaring up at him, cross-armed. 
"You passed the fuck out on our first night, Adagio." Buck growled. 
"I wasn't ready, then. I'm more than prepared now, but even still, I'd like a demonstration." Adagio snapped back. 
"Why do you think that sex has to be berserk shit all the time, 'dagio?"
"I don't. We simply have a score to settle." Adagio said. Buck's nose was almost touching hers. His soothing sweet emotion was running hot again. Perfect. 
"Are you tryin' to get me to bend you over the table, right now?" Buck said. 
"Maybe, Buck, if you'd stop dancing around and just fuck me. Adagio purred. 
"Oh, that's IT!" Scoots shouted. Buck and Adagio broke out of their trance and glanced at her. Scoot's pout had dropped into a snarl. "I'm sick of you guys talking past me!" Scoots said.
"Are you still here?" Adagio grinned. 
"Shut up! Buck, Adagio is right about one thing; you are underestimating me." Scoots said.
"You see? She wants you to break her!" Adagio nodded.
"And you're underestimating me, too! I'm not a virgin and I'm not a fragile little bird and I'm not a new engine, or whatever the fuck!" Scoots said.
"Wow, that one wasn't even close." Buck said.
"I'm a grown woman who can make her own stupid decisions! So Buck, I know you're trying to be sweet and caring and all that, but get over yourself! It's just a dick. I can handle a dick." Scoots said, raising an eyebrow. Buck shut his mouth. 
"See?" Adagio jabbed.
"And you. I'm not scared of you." Scoots said, pointing to Adagio. 
"Oh, yes you are." Adagio said. She took a step forward, straightened her back, and squared her shoulders. She was already taller than Scoots at a slouch, and now her shadow fell across Scoot's face.
"Okay, I'm real scared of you, sure, but I'm not going to fall to pieces just because Buck sticks it in me! I bet...I bet I can make him cum faster than you can!" 
"What." Adagio said. Buck slapped a hand over his mouth. 
"You heard me! I've seen Buck melt at work just from looking at your ass when you walk out! I could take him easy, and I bet I can do it better than you can! I can make him cum twice!" Scoots said.
"...I see. So you agree, then." Adagio said, smiling at Scoots. 
"Huh?"
"A wager, sweetheart. We'll take turns. If you can make Buck cum faster than I can, then...oh...I don't know, what exactly do you want?" Adagio said.
"I...uh...I want Buck to carry me around for two weeks! And, uh...and call me Princess Scoots! And I want you to admit that you are threatened by me and you're scared that I'm gonna steal Buck away from you with my rockin' bod!" Scoots said.
"Ohohoho! A bit of fire in this one, I see! A shame about the leg shaking, however. It somewhat lessens the impact." Adagio said. Scootaloo's legs were indeed shaking, but she had put on a brave face. Adagio leaned forward. She lightly traced along Scoot's jawline and tilted her head up to face her. "And if I win? You're going to be my servant for those two weeks. You'll have to follow my every command. Every. Single. Command." Adagio purred. Scootaloo's bravado sunk into a mire of babbling and blushing and quivering.
"Holy shit! D'ya need me to getcha a mop, Scoots? An' a bucket that says 'Sub Juice' on it?" Buck laughed. 
"No, no, I think a little maid's uniform that says 'Sub-Servient' on the cap is more her speed!" Adagio tittered. 
"Oh, that's mean, babe!" Buck said. 
"Both of you shut up! So I'm a sub, so what? Buck is a sub, and you don't hear me makin' fun!" Scoots said.
"You think I'm a WHAT-" Buck started, but Adagio turned him around, pushing him towards her room.
"Now, now, Buck, let's not get all worked up, remember your breathing! Come now, let's go and get ready!" Adagio said. 
"Wait, I haven't agreed to this!" Buck said.
"Ughhh...okay, Buck, what is it you need in order to commit to this?" Adagio groaned. Buck turned around and looked Scoots over. She was still shaking, but she seemed more steady now. 
"You can't cast spells on her, and you can't stop me from cumming when it happens. You don't get to make it harder on Scoots. Got it, 'dagio?" Buck sighed. 
"Agreed. But since you're the goal, Buck, you don't get to touch or move unless you're told to. No interfering, and no going easy. Unless Scootaloo or I asks you to do something, you do nothing, understood?" Adagio said.
"Yeah! It's only fair!" Scoots said. 
"Okay, fine, fine. Scoots, you're the guest, so you get to go first." Buck said. 
"Oh...oh! Uh, yeah, sure!" Scoots said, giving a somewhat shaky thumbs up.
"Oh, how dare. Fine then, but I get to fluff you up. In private. You wait out here, little birdie, and I'll come fetch you soon enough. You may want to mentally prepare yourself." Adagio said. She pinched Buck on the ass and ushered him inside. 

"You said your room is soundproof, I think, right?" Buck said. He watched as Adagio adjusted a dimmer switch and turned another knob that seemed to change the colors of the lights. Fancy!
"More or less, yes. What do you think? Blue lights? Red?" Adagio said. 	
"Purple, definitely. You wanna tell me just what in the fuck this is actually about? Why are you poking Scoots like this?" Buck said. The lights recessed in the ceiling bathed the bedroom in a luscious lavender glow.
"No, darling. You're the one that's going to be poking her." Adagio smiled. She placed a hand on Buck's shoulder and had him sit down. Buck immediately sunk into the ultra-plush cushion. It was like sitting his ass down on a cloud; he thought he would sink right through it to the floor. 
"No, seriously. What are you on?" Buck said. 
"Do you really want to know, Buck?" Adagio said. She was pulling her hair into a ponytail as Buck lifted his shirt off. 
"That's why I asked, yeah." Buck said. His glasses got caught and the neck hole was stuck over his head. He couldn't see. After struggling for a few moments, he felt Adagio push him firmly down onto the bed then her breasts sliding along his chest, and finally Adagio settling in his lap. 
"I'm being nice, Buck." Adagio said. She whispered it, right next to his ear. She scratched lightly at Buck's chest and ground her hips against his in slow, light circles. "You said it yourself; Scootaloo is 'going through it' and she's in need of attention. But she also clearly wants to be taken seriously, and also, she wants to be...handled. She doesn't feel like she's being seen, and so, I'm putting her in an arena that will let her simply be herself and cut loose without any judgement. Sound familiar?" Buck felt Adagio's weight shift, and her voice was far away again. "I'm also trying to teach you a lesson, Buck." Adagio said. 
"Yeah? What's that?" Buck couldn't see her, but Adagio's lips found his. She didn't kiss him; instead, she let her lips brush up against his and sighed sweetly. Buck's nerves were electric; Adagio was getting even better at the tender treatment. She kissed right at the corner of his mouth. Buck felt Adagio sit up in his lap and then there was a slight shuffling of cloth. Her weight adjusted in his lap, and he felt her ass shimmying against his crotch.
"Just because someone is fragile, that doesn't mean they're weak, and even if they are, that doesn't mean they don't like to be broken every once in a while" Adagio's voice was in Buck's ear again. She was laying on top of him and grinding. He felt like he was shackled to the bed. "Now, can I have your opinion about something, Buck?" Adagio purred.
"Sure, babe. Anything." Buck said. Adagio pulled the shirt from his head and sat up, straddling his lap. 
"How do you feel about fishnets?" Adagio said. Her eyes were half-lidded, and in the space of their conversation, she had styled her ponytail into a low bun. She'd switched into a set of frilly black lingerie, long fishnet gloves, stockings, and garters. Her thick thighs were just slightly overflowing the tight fishnets. Adagio turned in Buck's lap to reveal a thong that barely peaked over the crack of her big round ass cheeks which were spilling over Buck's own thighs. 
"Holy mother of fuck, woman, I can only get so erect." Buck mumbled in awe. 
"I did a little googling around after that conversation last week. The one about Nico Robin, and bondage?" Adagio said. She turned in Buck's lap again and laid atop him. 
"Y'all ain't about to tie me up." Buck said.
"No...as long as you behave, Buck." Adagio said. She took Buck's hands and placed them on her ass. Buck squeezed and fondled her greedily. Adagio cooed in his ear. 
"God damn...I almost wanna leave Scoots out there and keep you to myself." Buck said. Adagio gasped as Buck slapped her ass with both hands.
"Naughty boy! Now that wouldn't be very sporting, would it? This is supposed to be a competition!" 
"Believe me, babe, you're in a league of your own. But, I'll play along if it means you're gonna crawl all over me like this. Fuck...fuck...look at you..." Buck's words trailed off as he stared down Adagio's cleavage, his hands roaming. He was burning up, and Adagio was too by the feeling of her crotch pressing against him. "Can...can I kiss you, Adagio? Is that alright?" Buck said.
"Yes, Buck. Of course you can. Why would you even ask?" Her lips met his properly, but it was Buck's tongue that invaded Adagio's mouth, and his squeezing, groping hands that pulled her close, and his grunting moans and his needy heat that flushed Adagio. Buck wanted to stay like this forever, but after a few moments of sucking face, he heard a familiar voice from under the door.
"Uhhh...you guys gonna let me in...?" Scoots called. Adagio pulled away from Buck and scooted off him. Her finger trailed down his crotch.
"I think you're plenty 'fluffed' enough. Are you ready, Buck?" Adagio said. She was standing, looking over her shoulder at him. Buck could not take his eyes away from her titanic fucking ass. Mustering all of his meager focus, he dragged his eyes back up Adagio's form, caught them as they tried to make a suicidal plunge back down, then managed to give Adagio a nod. 
Adagio disappeared briefly past the door, then Buck heard Scoots squeal, then the rapid tapping of feet, which stopped in an instant. Adagio carried Scootaloo into the bedroom by her shoulders then set her down on the floor before the bed. 	
Scoots was shaking and her legs didn't seem to want to work, but Adagio held her up. Buck sat up a bit on his elbows. 
"You okay, Scoots?" Buck said.
"Yeeeaaaahahaha...! I'm cool! We've come this far, so there's no room for second thoughts, right?" Scoots said in a shaky voice.

If one were to pull back the curtain and step into Scoot's red-faced dissociative episode, they would see that she was, as a matter of informed opinion, wheeling around a big fuck-off wheelbarrow of second thoughts.
First of all, there was the obvious thing. Scootaloo was a conventional bisexual woman, which in simple terms meant that she was attracted to a lot of male celebrities and terrified of women. The second was that, yes, Scoots had sexual experience, but it was probably a drop in the ocean compared to what these two had been getting up to, and she'd never actually, you know, been with a guy before. The third was that Adagio Dazzle was the most attractive woman to ever sashay across Scoot's field of vision, and she damn well knew it. 
When Adagio came out of the bedroom, she was suddenly wearing fishnets, and she was looking at Scoots like she was going to thoroughly enjoy burying her body on a beach somewhere. Scoots, on the other hand, was staring up at Adagio like her fight or flight response was experiencing packet loss. When Adagio lightly touched Scoots on the shoulder, it seemed that Scoot's mental wi-fi finally connected to her legs, and she had tried to take off running.
Adagio had lifted her pretty much effortlessly, and then carried her into the bedroom, and now Scootaloo was on the floor in front of the bed, kneeling between Buck's jean-covered knees, and she was trembling in absolute terror. 
Scoots hated her mouth for saying the things that she had wanted to say, because now she had to own up to those words, and she was scared as hell and very, very wet. Not in the bad way, though. In fact, she was hot and itchy and needy and those feelings were usually reserved for the bathroom at work every once in a while and like three nights out of the week in her dorm. 
It was a co-ed dorm before her roommate had to move out for a family crisis, actually. She missed Bulk Biceps. He was the roommate. Besides Buck and Mr. Cake and Sunburst, he was like the only decent guy she knew, and he played a great pacifist cleric. Scoots had assumed that Buck was a kinda creampuff like Bulk was this whole time, but by the way Adagio had laughed and sneered, she was starting to think that was a miscalculation. 
Buck's bulge was a dirty Christmas gift from hell that she was going to have to unwrap if she was ever going to get through this. Her eyes roamed over it and tried to make some guesses, but she could never tell these sorts of things. She honestly hadn't really thought about Buck that way until he started seeing Adagio, but the way she seemed to crave him and the way he looked at her...she wanted to be seen like that, too. Scoots...she wanted to be needed. That's what this was all about, wasn't it? Was Buck saying something?
"Scoots? Your safe word. Just in case, what is it?" Buck said from three million miles past the zipper road to the great bulge ridge.
"Uh...it's uh...you're gonna laugh." Scoots said. Rainbow Dash had laughed, She remembered.
"Yeah, maybe, but I want you to feel safe." Buck shrugged in the background of the biopic that Scoots was writing about his pants bulge. 
"It's Run. You know, like, like run, like get outta there, run." Scoots mumbled.
"That's...that's more alarming than funny, but sure. Run. Got it. Okay." Buck said. His smile was like the morning sun over dick mountain. He really was a good guy. Scoots couldn't help but smile back. He tried to give you an out before. That's because he was underestimating you, or being sweet, probably both. That's right, he didn't think you could handle this! The way Buck talked to Adagio, he probably didn't think she could handle him, either. Scoots wondered then just how true the rumors were about Buck, and she got worried all over again. 
"Ooh, don't be scared, little birdie~. I promise, this won't hurt. Do you need a bit of guidance?" Adagio offered. This was in no way helpful. Scootaloo tried to rub the blush out of her cheeks, but it didn't help. Buck was standing up now. Adagio had asked him to, Scoots thought. She hadn't heard that. All she could hear was her own quickening heartbeat. 
"I know what I'm doing!" Scoots said. She absolutely did not. Scoots reached up with trembling hands and tried to undo the button on Buck's pants and for some reason, this was the hardest thing in the world, but she did it, she managed to get it open and she pulled down the fly and Buck felt really, like really warm, and he was fuzzy in there, and her hands got into his waistband and she pulled and pulled and his pants weren't coming down and she was fucking this up she was fucking it all up already!
"Scoots? Y'allright?" Buck said. No, no, don't look at me like that! If I take too long he's gonna stop being hard and this is just so embarrassing. But then, Scootaloo saw Adagio's yellow, fishnet gloved hands cover her own orange grabbers, and a pair of super soft breasts on her back, and a cheek against hers. Adagio was cool to the touch, and the feeling of her heartbeat alone made everything seem to slow down.
"Breathe. It's okay..." Adagio whispered. Scoots gulped, and Adagio helped her to tug Buck's pants down. 
Buck's big, fat, purple dick flopped onto Scoots' face. It seemed like it was about a million inches long since it eclipsed her vision. Half of Scoot's face disappeared in the shadow of Buck's cock, and she could feel herself shaking again. 
"Buck, would you please sit down and let the little birdie take care of you?" Adagio said. Buck obliged, and his cock, instead of darkening the world, was now pointing straight up at the ceiling. He was hairy down around the base, Scoots noticed. He was also uncircumcised which...Scoots was pretty sure she had never seen that before, actually. It looked more manageable from a bit farther away. She'd had smaller things in her pussy and bigger things in her ass before, definitely! She could do this! "Go on, then. You know what to do. Get him nice and wet..." Adagio purred. 
Wet. Wet? Right! Wet! Lubrication was a good thing, hahaha holy shit is that thing going to even fit inside? Scoots would have to burn that bridge when she got to it. She shuffled forward, Adagio right behind her and she opened her mouth. She leaned in...and closed her mouth, and she tilted her head, opened her mouth again, then closed it again. Where to start, where to start? What was the right angle for this?
"...Scoots?" Buck said. She could see his heartbeat. Even through the foreskin, Scoots could see a thick, angry vein going up Buck's length. He was fatter in the center of his cock, and there was a little curve to the left.
"Hush, Buck." Adagio said. There was a clear bead of precum right at the tip of Buck's cock. It was tiny and kinda cute. "...go on and taste him, little birdie...he's being very patient, right now, but...can you tell? He's so excited to break you." Adagio said. 
Scoots let her tongue out of her mouth and she leaned in and she licked the tip of Buck's cock. It was salty and the tiniest bit sweet. Did Buck like pineapples? That was a thing, right? Scootaloo pondered this as she lapped at Buck's cock head, then let her tongue wander all over his length. In a few spots around the head, Buck's cock twitched when Scoots' licked him. Her tongue traveled down to the base and then back up again. Was this good? Was it working? Scoots couldn't know. Her hand rose up, guided by Adagio's, and her fingers slid along the vein on the side, down to Buck's balls which felt odd and a little bit heavy and smooth but hairy at the same time. Adagio squeezed with Scoots' hand and Scoots felt and heard Buck's breath hitch for just a second.
"The head. Little circles...there's a good girl..." Adagio cooed. Scoots swirled her tongue around Buck's tip, and she clumsily fondled his balls. She felt his cock head press against her tongue and she looked down and realized that Adagio was holding it at the base. Adagio slapped Buck's cock head against Scoots' tongue and giggled when Buck moaned.
This is working! Scoots thought, but Adagio was helping, and wasn't this supposed to be a competition? Scootaloo batted Adagio's hand away and tried to focus on the technique. Wet. She needed to get him wet. Scootaloo stopped licking Buck's cock head and gathered some spit in her mouth, then slid her lips up and down the sides, slathering spittle in her wake. She let her wet tongue drag all over Buck's cock, then she slid her hand up and down with a gentle grip, spreading the spit around. Buck laid back then and moaned softly. 
"Do you think you can fit his head in your mouth...?" Adagio whispered. Scootaloo mulled it over, then shrugged and opened her mouth as wide as possible. As the thick, dark purple cap approached her mouth, Adagio grabbed Scootaloo by the back of the head. She stopped her. "Mind your teeth. He's sensitive." Adagio hissed. Scootaloo shrugged Adagio's other hand off her shoulder and tried to sorta...sorta fold her lips over her teeth so they wouldn't scrape. It was difficult, but as she pushed forward and felt Buck's cock head fill her mouth, she felt a soreness starting to form in her jaw. It wasn't super unpleasant or anything, but she was surprised at how difficult it was for her to fit Buck's cock in her mouth. Scootaloo tried to force it, pushing in even deeper, but she coughed around Buck's cock and pulled back, gasping for air. 
"You're on the clock, little slut. What? Do you need me to take care of him for you? Isn't this supposed to be a contest?" Adagio said in Scoot's ear. Every time Adagio spoke, it was like a little electrical shock ran through Scoot's nerves. Scoots looked left and saw a smartphone propped up on a chest of drawers. It was keeping track of the time. It had been about three minutes. She needed to get this show on the road if she wanted to have any hope of getting Buck off. Scootaloo took a deep breath.
"Buck?" Scoots said. She tried to sound commanding, but her voice cracked, a little bit like Sweetie Belle's used to do. It was squeaky, but she powered through the embarrassment. 
"Yeah, Scoots?" Buck said, sitting up. 
"Buck. Fuck my face." Scoots mumbled. She pointed to her jaw and opened her mouth.
"Uhh...you sure?" Buck said.
"Buck, she made a command of you, and she's waiting. Don't stall, now. Give her what she asked for!" Adagio barked.
"Alright, alright, uh, how deep are we talkin'?" Buck said.
"Just! Just stand up and spread your legs, okay?" Scootaloo said. She shut her eyes and tried to remember. She'd been here before, sorta. Once or twice, or maybe three times, when no one was around, but she'd been here. Just relax your jaw...
Buck got up and his cock booped Scoots briefly on the nose as he towered over her. Scoots shimmied between Buck's spread legs, and took his big meaty meat paws and placed them on the sides of her head. 
"C'mon, Buck, just...ah...mmm...mmm...!" Buck immediately started petting and scritching her hair, and for a moment, Scootaloo felt every ounce of tension leave her body. She started making little contented hums, but she heard Adagio giggle behind her again, and she remembered what she was doing. Scoots opened her mouth again, grabbed Buck's cock, and angled it down to her mouth. Buck tilted his head at her but Scoots just nodded and gave him a glare. 
Then Buck slid maybe half his length into her mouth before it hit her throat. Scootaloo coughed and gagged around Buck's fat dick, and he immediately pulled it back, but Scoots blinked the tears from her eyes and grabbed Buck's thighs, and pushed up into his cock, burying it as far as she could into her throat. She knew this part; she had read about it online! Scoots coughed again, but she steadied herself and swallowed around Buck's cock. 
"H-Holy shit..." Buck mumbled. His hands stroked Scoots' hair as she choked on his dick. Scootaloo's gagging and groaning as her throat was filled was her only response. 
"Ooh! She's a natural! Color me surprised. You sure do know how to pick your friends, Buck~" Adagio said. Did his cock just tense?
"Hey, don't go pinnin' this on me! You're the whole reason she's sucking me off right now!" Buck snapped.
"You're welcome." Adagio said. "Isn't it wonderful to be serviced by a cute, willing little bitch? Are you getting close?"
"What? Nah. We just got started. Scoots, you okay down there?" Buck said, concern on his face. Scootaloo blinked back her tears and gave a thumbs up. Her hands then went down to the floor and she leaned forward to try and take just a little bit more. She still wasn't close to her nose touching Buck's stomach, but her jaw was getting sore and the violating feeling in her throat was indescribable. Scoots knew she couldn't keep this up, so she hoped that Buck would really lean into it, but he was hesitating. Scoots pulled off and took a few shaky breaths. 
"Well, this is an admirable effort, but Buck is a harder nut to crack than you think, little birdie. You're going to have to do better than that...!" Adagio purred. Then her hand was on the back of Scoot's head. Without hesitation, Adagio pistoned Buck's cock into Scoot's throat while she squealed around it. Scoots looked up to Buck's face and saw him gritting his teeth, his knees shaking.
Scoots tried to gather more spit on her tongue and lubricate Buck even more as her face was bounced all over his cock. 
"Oooh, is that good, Buck? Don't you love making her yours? Are you going to cum for sweet little Scootaloo?" Adagio moaned. Her hand was a vice, and as Scoot's head was wrenched violently back and forth, the sounds coming from her aching jaw turned from muffled squeaks to a lewd, wet glarking choke. 
"It's sooooo fucking good, but I need ahh...hmm...Scoots? Scoots, take a breath...!" Buck said. Adagio yanked Scoot's face off his cock. She sucked down air like she just swam up from the bottom of the ocean, rivulets of spit trailing between her lips and Buck's cock. She coughed and swallowed the spit in her mouth, and looked at Buck imploringly. "Fuck, you're cute." Buck mumbled. He stroked Scoot's hair again, and she shivered and smiled. "I just...I just...I need you to have a good time, too." Buck admitted. 
"Huh?" Scoots blinked and looked over at Adagio, who had a dopey, trembling smile. Her hands were over her heart and she was blushing deeply. 
"I think what Buck is trying to say, is he can't get off if you aren't getting off. And so..." Adagio reached down and undid the button on Scoot's shorts. She lightly guided Scoot's hand down to her wet crotch. "Let him have his fun...but touch yourself while you're at it, little ingénue." She took Scoot's chin in her hands and planted a kiss on her cheek. 
"And, uh, turn to the side a little, so I can see." Buck said. Scoots moved a bit, then sat back down and opened her mouth. Buck's cock was perpendicular to her face, but he stuck it into the side of her mouth, and Scootaloo felt his head pushing on the inside of her cheek. Buck started thrusting again, hand holding Scoot's head steady from the top as he quickly slid his cock back and forth. This was way more manageable! Buck's groans got higher in pitch, he was almost sighing as he looked down at her with half-lidded eyes. Scoot's own eyes slid over to Adagio, who nodded at her enthusiastically. 
"Oh, now this is different! I haven't seen this, before..." Adagio purred. Her hands were off Scootaloo, letting her take control of the situation. Scoots began lightly running her tongue along the underside of Buck's cock, earning a gasping moan from him. His thrusts got even faster, while Scootaloo moaned around his cock. Her fingers were moving on their own, digging into her panties. Her sopping wet shlicking noises caught up to Buck's frantic pace, and before long, she felt Buck's cock tensing in her mouth. He sounded near breathless.
"Yes, yes! There! Now, come here!" Adagio said. She pulled Scootaloo off Buck's cock and angled her head-on with it. Before Scootaloo even knew what was happening, Adagio's hand was on her wrist and Scoot's fingers were around Buck's shaft and his head was dribbling precum onto her tongue. "Open wide, little birdie~! Look at him. Beg him for it!" Adagio trilled. Scootaloo made eye contact with Buck again, and she moaned as her fingers rubbed her clit and she jerked him off light and fast, and in an instant Buck was gasping and his cum was squirting all over her tongue and her lips and her face. 
"Ahnn...ahnn...ahh!" Scootaloo moaned and she wrung Buck dry. 
After a few spurts, Buck's pulsing finally stopped, and he collapsed back on the bed, spent. Scootaloo just sat there for a moment, cum slowly dripping down her face. She closed her mouth and tasted it for just a second before she coughed and spit it up into her hands. It was bitter and slimy. "Blehck!"
"Oh, look, you've made a mess. Just a moment...here." Adagio chided. She was up and then she was back with a couple of tissues in her hand. She dropped them in Scootaloo's lap. 
There was a beep, and when Scoots looked again, Adagio was sitting on the bed, checking her phone with one hand and stroking Buck's thigh with the other. Adagio showed Scootaloo the phone. 
"Thirteen minutes. Congratulations! That's only a few minutes more than the time it took Buck to climax on our first night! Of course, we were both a bit drunk then, but semantics, little birdie, you've performed adequately." Adagio clapped her hands in a slightly patronizing way. 
"Wha-really?" Scoots said. She'd had Buck's cock in her mouth for thirteen minutes!? No wonder her jaw was so sore.
"Yes, really. You've done wonderful for an absolute amateur at handling this man. Now...ehm...Buck?" Adagio halted, frowning.
"Yeah, babe?" Buck panted.
"Breathe, Buck. Why are you going soft?" Adagio said. She slipped a finger under his deflating shaft and flipped it over. Then she smirked and pawed it around a bit. To Scoots, it looked like a tiger playing with a cat toy.
"Well, guys usually do that when they cum, Adagio," Buck grumbled. Adagio blinked and stroked her chin as if this were a brand new theorem to her.
"Ah, yes, that's right. The refractory period." Adagio said, finally.
"Yeah...I'm gonna need a lil' break and some water, and-ah! Ahh, ah, okay, okay, I guess not then, what're you-fffuck, fuck, babe, I'm still sensitive!" Buck said. Adagio leaned down and began softly kissing up and down Buck's cock.
"Mm. Mm. Mm! I know you have more in you, Buck." Adagio giggled. She reached down and squeezed his balls. "And I know that you're way too considerate to leave a lady waiting!" Adagio kept pecking and suckling gently, and as Buck began to rise again, she straddled his waist and planted her hands on his chest. 

Adagio eyed her big, precious teddy bear with his golden eyes and his sweet, high gasps and his fat cock and his...oh. Oh, she was more than just a bit worked up from watching Scootaloo taste him. No, at some point, Buck's eyes had started flickering to hers, and his adoration and lust and love mixed together and began to surround Adagio. She was already feeling a bit tipsy from just him looking at her, and now she was on him and she was going to make Scootaloo watch as she claimed him. 
"Babe? Can...can I-" Adagio's lips stopped Buck's question and crushed it between their tongues. She drank his lust down and grinded her wet snatch against his stiffening cock and she was so thirsty! Buck's rich affection boiled her blood and made her hot and achey deep inside. She wanted to devour him, but she heard a beep behind her and caught herself. Scootaloo had started the timer. 
Adagio begrudgingly pulled her lips away from Buck, biting his lower lip and pulling on it before letting it slide out of her mouth. Adagio started to sit up, but Buck reached up and grabbed her shoulder, and pulled her back down. Now it was like he was drinking her; these were not the sweet little pecks that Adagio had come to savor, this was a huffing, starving kiss. His hips bucked up against her and Adagio moaned and rolled against him, and for just a moment, she let him have his way. 
But then, Adagio pushed Buck down and away and sat up. Her hands sat on his chest, pinning him down properly, and she began gyrating against him, with deliberate slowness. "I've been studying you, Buck. Did you know that? Did you know that I've been listening and paying attention?" Adagio said. She smiled at Buck with masterful malice, but all he could give her in return was a sweet and loving smile. There was no fear in him, just thirst and joy and awe. He adored her. 
"Well, I mean, you changed into fishnets, and I'm pretty sure if you fuck me in them, my soul is going to jump out of my body. I mean; fuckin' garters, Adagio? Holy shit, the way your thighs are fuckin' muffin topping in them just a lil' bit and that bun in your hair and, I just-" Buck rambled.
"Hush now. That was a rhetorical question. I just wanted to share what I've learned. Aren't you curious, little birdie? Don't you want to know what Buck likes?" Adagio said. By now, Scootaloo was sitting on the far edge of the bed, watching with rapt attention, but when Adagio addressed her, Scootaloo simply looked away and pretended she couldn't hear.
"Buck has many weaknesses in the bedroom, it seems, as do most. But Buck...Buck one of the things that you are most vulnerable to...is variety. " Adagio rolled her hips forward and let her squishy, crushing thighs and the slick silk of her thong slide along Buck's shaft. A tiny moan escaped his lips. Adagio's hips slid and pressed and squeezed down on Buck's cock. "Look at you...you've said as much already. You want to do everything to me." Adagio said. The words were ambrosia on her tongue. There was a quavering echo in her voice. She leaned forward and let her forehead touch his. 
"Buck...do you want to start by fucking my thighs~?"





Down several flights of stairs, and just above a set of blazing red cheeks Starlight's eyes were wide. Even for her, this felt perverse. She was expecting...what in the world was she expecting? She had thought that Adagio would do some kind of spell, or enchant Scootaloo in some way, and Buck would just sit there, hypnotized like something out of Dracula. But that seemed pretty stupid now since all that had happened was that Scootaloo had been between Buck's legs for a while and Starlight got to hear her gagging and Adagio, she was just egging her on. 
This felt a little like entrapment, but it seemed mostly like just a particularly raunchy night, and...and, wow, I mean, yes, Adagio was all over Buck, but Starlight thought that was because she was cozying up to her thrall, getting him comfortable, but this, she didn't need to do this, did she? What exactly was Adagio playing at? 
Over the course of this liaison, Buck and Scootaloo's auras had been flickering and glowing more intensely. This made sense since magic and emotion worked hand in hand and they were obviously excited, but from what Starlight could see, Adagio was draining Buck slowly and gradually, at least at first. 
But when she got on top of him, the magic passing between them suddenly spiked. Where was the artifact? Boy, Buck was a real moaner, wasn't he? He sounded kind of...girly? 
Focus. Starlight needed to stay focused. 
She reached down and produced a notebook from Sunbursts' desk, and when she came back up, she saw that Adagio was up on her knees, reclining back against Buck, who was thrusting against her. How do they just keep going like that!? Focus! Auras. Monitor their auras. There has to be something to this...





Scoots watched with pure, morbid curiosity as Buck's hips smacked against Adagio's ass from behind. His hands were groping her breasts, and Adagio had a hand on his head to steady herself as she ground her hips back into him. Buck's cock head was peaking out just the slightest bit through Adagio's pillowy thighs as he thrust desperately, grunting with his chin on Adagio's shoulder. 
"You see? Buck is just a man, and the end of the day. No need to be frightened, little birdie! He just wants a woman to let him do as he pleases, someone soft and thick and sturdy...ooh, ohh was that a bit of a hitch, Buck? You're loving every moment of this, aren't you? Tell me, little birdie, do you think you can get Buck to make this sound?" Adagio said. Her hand slipped down between her thighs, and her fingers tickled Buck's cock head as it came through. 
Buck stopped thrusting at that and made a sound like a strangled cry. He shut his mouth quickly and grit his teeth, squeezing Adagio's breasts as she teased his tip, wiggling and grinding her hips against him. 
"You see, Buck? You worry so much about breaking me, and it's sweet, it really is, but did you never spare a moment to think that I might be just enough woman for you? Hmm...?" Adagio bucked her hips back against him hard. 
"Ahh...nnggghh!!!" Buck's cries almost sounded panicked to Scoots. His face was red and he was clinging to Adagio and panting into her neck. 
"Yes, sweetheart, that's a very cogent point. I know it's hard for you to be so vulnerable, especially in front of your precious little co-worker, but this is just an appetizer, Buck. Didn't you say you wanted to cum in my pussy...in my mouth, and in my ass...?" Adagio said. Her hips were dipping forward and back with a jerky, unsteady pace.
"Are...nnn...are you gonna let me fuck you in the ass!?" Buck said. It was like a dog smelling a treat. His eyes went wide. Adagio rolled her fingers in little circles over his tip. 
"Mm...no. No, not today, I don't think so." Adagio said, smirking.
"Aww..." Buck whined.
"Now, don't pout! Here, let me go. I do have something special planned for you." Adagio slipped free of Buck's grip, and she laid down with her head hanging over the side of the bed. Scoots saw Buck's lustful glare slide over every curve of Adagio's body as she reclined. "Look here, Buck; this time you're going to fuck my face. And don't you dare even think about holding back! I want to show the little birdie over there precisely how it's done." Adagio said. 
"Adagio, you don't have to show off like this, we all know you're a bad bitch..." Buck mumbled. Scootaloo noticed that he still stood over her, hard as a rock, as he complained. 
"Oh? You still think that tonight is about me? That's adorable, Buck. Come here." Adagio said. She reached up and grabbed Buck's ass, squeezing and pulling him forward. She kissed the underside of his cock head. "The only reason we're here right now is because I wanted to treat you, Buck." Adagio said, smiling up at him.
"...this really is you bein' nice?" Buck smiled. 
"Clock's ticking, Buck. Get to it. Ahhhhnnn~" Adagio closed her eyes and opened her mouth, allowing Buck to easily slide his cock in. Scootaloo watched with dull shock as Buck pushed forward--or was Adagio pulling his hips?--and hilted in Adagio's throat with his balls touching her nose. Buck let out a deep breath and shuddered. Adagio's hand wandered down, and she started playing with herself. 
Several floors down, Starlight Glimmer resisted the urge to cover her eyes. 
The room was getting hotter, it felt like. Adagio gave Buck's ass a squeeze, and then she pushed his hips back until he was only halfway inside her mouth. Then she roughly pulled him right back, ripping a moan out of Buck. Buck fell forward a bit, having to steady his hands on either side of Adagio's body. He started giving hard, short thrusts, and his voice dropped into a rolling, grunting pant as he fucked Adagio's throat.
Adagio was right; he had been holding back. Adagio wheezed and gurgled around Buck's cock, his balls slapping against her face as he kept plowing into her.
Scootaloo could see the bulge of Buck's cock sliding back and forth through Adagio's upturned throat, and by the way her legs trembled and squeezed her own hand between her thighs, Adagio was taking a sadistic joy in being used like this. 
Maybe, Scoots thought, they weren't so different after all.
Buck looked like he was caught between total ecstasy and the beginnings of some sort of werewolf transformation. His grunts were turning into ragged growls as the thrusting of his hips became a cruel, greedy pistoning motion. 
Scootaloo could see Adagio's eyes rolling back. She hadn't stopped to come up for air. As Adagio's body shook from Buck's pounding, her hand slowly slid down his ass, her fingers between his cheeks and then...
Buck shuddered and his hips slapped into Adagio's lips once, twice, three times, and then he roared and came to a shaking stop. Adagio's throat twitched as she swallowed and teased him. Scootaloo saw Buck's ass muscles flex over and over again as he grunted until finally, he seemed to come back to himself and step back.
As Buck's cock slurped out of Adagio's mouth, the look on his face shifted from pure satisfaction to remorse and then confusion. Adagio took a breath as Buck's head popped out of her mouth, then she grabbed his ass and pulled him, refusing to let go and she suckled on his tip. 
"You have got to be kidding!" Scoots said. She shuffled over to Adagio and Buck, who looked like he was having his soul sucked out. "How is she even...she's still...WHAT!?" Scoots simpered. Adagio giggled, earning a shuddering moan from Buck, and then flipped over and kept suckling. Her hand squeezed and slid along Buck's cock like she was wringing out a tube of toothpaste. "That is ridiculous! Adagio, you're amazing!" Scoots finished. 

Somewhere close by and yet a million miles away, Starlight Glimmer broke through her own personal demiplane of lewd embarrassment and wrote "Actually a Succubus???" in a notepad, underlining it several times.

"Babe, babe, okay, okay stop, really reeeally sensitive, startin' to hurt, babe...babe!" Buck was tapping at Adagio's shoulder, but she kept suckling until finally, with great difficulty, Buck managed to pull his cock out of her mouth and place a hand on her forehead as she tried to pounce back onto it. Scootaloo stopped the timer. Eight minutes. 
"Eight minutes!? Hax! I call hax! How did you hold your breath for so long!? Are you using magic!?" She pointed an accusing finger at Adagio. Buck took a stumbling fall onto the bed. He was smiling. 
"Naw, Scoots, she's just gettin' better'n better at wringin' me dry. I need to step up my game, holy shit." Buck said. He closed his eyes and sighed. 
Adagio rose and wiped off her mouth, then licked her fingers. She sucked her teeth as if she'd just enjoyed a three-course meal, then turned to Scootaloo, held up a cocky finger, and burped loudly. She covered her mouth immediately and turned red. Buck burst out laughing.





The enchantment that Starlight had cast on top of the aura-scrying map was beginning to fade. Moth wings were fragile and extremely temporary. The sound was cutting out. She heard a burp, and then laughter, but it was starting to sound like a phone going through a tunnel. Starlight scrambled into the desk for more, but she was out of distant spying trinkets for the week. She cursed under her breath. It was going to be all eyes, now.





"Yes, well, as per our arrangement, Little Birdie..." Adagio crawled over the bed to Scootaloo on all fours. Scoots' outrage turned to fear in the blink of an eye. She turned her head to Buck, hoping that he'd save her, but his eyes were closed in contentment. She was on her own. When Scoots looked back, the only thing she perceived was Adagio's vicious magenta eyes, her long curly locks, and a hungry smile. That, and Adagio's breasts pressing against hers. 
"For the next two weeks, you belong to me." 





"Did I hear that right?" Starlight Glimmer had said it aloud. The moth dust had completely evaporated, but she heard what Adagio had said, alright. 
She wrote it down, circled it, drew some lines coming off it. 'You belong to me.' And then 'Enchantment ritual?' 'Scootaloo is a thrall?' 'Dark Magic'? Starlight supposed that the Sirens were all dark magic, but Adagio's aura hadn't flared much at all when she said that. 
Scootaloo's had, and Buck's had especially. 
Buck's flaming aura had been flickering and spiking in sudden bursts since Adagio returned to the room. He was obviously enjoying this much more than he let on. Had she enchanted him like this as well? Was she building an army of sex slaves!? Damn it, it was just more and more questions. What was the goal, here? Scootaloo's aura was almost the opposite of Buck's. It seemed to be shrinking but growing brighter, and somehow more transparent. Adagio's was like an inflating water balloon with a hole in the side.





"Oh shit, you were serious about that?" Buck's took a glance over at the two women and saw Adagio's lips on Scootaloo's. Scoot's hand was pinned to the side, while the other gripped the bedsheets. Adagio's sidelong glance told him everything he needed to know, and as he adjusted himself to watch her work, that glance turned gleeful. 
"Ooh...oh...oh..nnn... " Scootaloo shivered as Adagio's nails dragged down her side. Adagio's lips were on Scoot's neck, now. "Okay, okay, so this's happening now, I guess...!" Scootaloo said. Adagio's hand clapped over the tiny woman's mouth. 
"Right. The rules. While we are in private, You, little birdie, will only speak to me when I give you permission, or in answer to direct questions. Before then, the only sounds I want to hear out of your mouth are those cute little mousey moans or 'Yes Mistress.'  You will do as I say, even if I tell you to pleasure Buck." Adagio said, winking in his direction. Buck pointed a bewildered finger at himself, eyebrow raised. 
"When not in study, practice or work, you will be at my side, and I will use you as I please. Do you understand?" Scootaloo's terror-filled eyes dropped into a lustful, obedient flutter. She nodded, quickly. "Good girl." Adagio ran her fingers through Scootaloo's short purple hair. 
Scootaloo nuzzled her head against Adagio's fingers, her eyes rolling back, closing. "Oh? Oh, look at this, Buck! What was the word you used? 'Scritches'? Oh, she just loves scritches, doesn't she?" Adagio cooed. Buck stifled a chuckle as Adagio scratched Scootaloo's chin like a puppy, then he had a thought.
"Scoots, you know you don't gotta do this if you don't want to, right?" Buck said.
"sssshutupBuckjustlemmeenjoythis...!" Scoots muttered as Adagio's nails dug into her scalp. Adagio pressed her breasts into Scoot's face, pinning her to the headboard.
"Bad girl! What did I just say about speaking out of turn? Honestly, if you're going to break the rules right off the bat, I'm going to have to discipline that rebellious tongue of yours..." Adagio said. She wobbled her breasts in Scootaloo's face, then pulled back and let her breathe. 
"Lay down." Adagio commanded. The red-faced, mewling Scootaloo waddled downwards like a rare species of bird, and the second the back of her head touched the bed, she was surrounded by Adagio's glorious thighs. "Eat. You will stop when I say so." Adagio said. She was looking at Buck, but she lightly patted Scoot's forehead. "Yes? You look like you have something to say, Buck." A smirk crossed Adagio's face as she settled into the throne she had made of Scootaloo's face. 
"Well, I was going to say that I didn't figure you for the jealous type, but we both know that's a fucking lie." Buck said. He was reclining with his head propped in his hand, elbow down. "I also wanna say that your bed is the most comfortable thing I've ever laid on, present company excluded." 
"Flirt." Adagio giggled. Then she hummed softly and stroked Scootaloo's hair. Scoots was lapping at her slowly, seeming to savor every taste. Buck couldn't blame her. "And what of it? I like to guard my treasures, Buck." Adagio said. Her hips rolled slowly and delicately against Scootaloo's eager tongue. 
"Well, uh...I guess I want to know what you're trying to prove, here? You said this's a treat for me and all, and I know you mean it, but there's a message here that I'm not picking up, and I just wanted to be honest about that. Can we just skip the guesswork? What're you tryin' to say?" Buck pondered. His hand reached out and idly stroked Adagio's thigh. 
"Well, to be perfectly frank, Buck, I wanted you to understand a simple concept..." Adagio began. She was doing it again. A finger twirling in her bangs and a glance away, even as Scootaloo swirled her tongue over her clitoris, Adagio had a hard time with this kind of thing. Buck thought it was incredibly sweet that she had to think about it. She was choosing her words carefully. Finally, she presented them.
"Buck...you are surrounded by good people. I suppose I'm just jealous that you have such a close and comfortable bond with them. Even your neighbor and her child know you more than I do, and just lately I've been feeling like an alien invader."
"Princess, you're literally an alien invader." Buck snarked.
"I'm trying to be genuine, will you hush!?" Adagio barked. Buck nodded. "I...think that you were right. That things have been strange and quick and maybe I have been a little less than considerate of your needs. I wanted to try and think about a gift that would really suit you, and more than anything else, one that would show you that..." Adagio trailed off. She wasn't looking at him. Buck got up then, on his knees, and took Adagio's hand. Kissed the back, softly. Adagio looked at him and remembered to breathe. "I wanted to show you that I'm not just another 'bad girl'. I can give you things that no one else can. I can give you the whole world, and more, Buck. I know you're frightened of me, but I need you to tell me right now that...that you'll give me a chance, regardless. Please." 
Adagio had started confident and careful, but as she spoke, her tone shook and buckled and crumpled into a quiet plea. Scootaloo's hands were on her thighs. Buck could see himself reflecting in Adagio's eyes.
"You were trying to impress me?" Buck said. Adagio's blush deepened and she looked down. She smiled. "You came to game night and humored us all, and you roped Scoots into a threesome, and you put this get up on and all of this because you were worried...about what?" Buck said.
"I was worried that you were going to realize that I'm more trouble than I'm worth." Adagio said it without thinking, then she covered her mouth and looked at Buck as if he were a nuclear explosion strolling down the block. She watched Buck as his expressions turned and ticked like the hands of a clock. Outrage, first. Then confusion, remorse and shame, and finally, finally, love. 
It was a burning passion, held in his heart. A tiny sun. She felt it and tasted it and it was so blinding and blazing that her eyes teared up and she had to shut them tight. 
"...I'm taking you to the Aquarium on Saturday. We are going to have lunch at a spot I know, and we're going to spend the day at the boardwalk, and the Aquarium is at the end of it. Adagio? Adagio, look at me, right here." Buck said. He put his hands on her cheeks. "You are going to relax, and talk about your past, if you feel up to it. And you're going to wear something nice, and so am I, and it's going to be a great day, and at the end of it, I'm going to bring you to this bed, and I'm going to spoil the fuck out of you." Buck said. Adagio could feel his hands quivering as he spoke. 
"Okay." Adagio whispered.
"Okay? I'm not taking 'No' for an answer." Buck said. 
"Yes. I will allow you to take me to the Aquarium. Naturally, I will pay for everything, and the two of us will spend the day as we please." Adagio said. She smiled at Buck down her nose. 
"You don't have to-"
"But I will. And that is all there is to it, Buck." Adagio finished. 
"Alright." Buck said. "Hey."
"Yes?"
"Can..." Buck muttered. Adagio's lips strolled over to his and hung around for a little while. From this tiny kiss, Adagio felt like she could crack the world open with the tip of her heel. 
Power. Adagio could feel it coursing through every pore. Their eyes were closed as they kissed, and so Adagio hoped that Buck couldn't see her fins unfurling, or the equine ears poking up out of her hair.

Starlight Glimmer covered her eyes. Buck's aura had blossomed into a roiling pillar of flame, and the flare of it threatened to blind her. When the spots cleared from her vision, Starlight saw that the lines she had drawn on the desk were fractured in a way that it looked like a firecracker had gone off. 

Scootaloo tapped frantically at Adagio's thigh. Adagio spread her knees and rose, allowing Scootaloo to gasp for air. 
"There, now, you may speak. What have we learned?" Adagio said. She looked like her normal self, now that the kiss was broken. 
"That you guys have a funny way of planning dates and also can I come too?" Scoots said, stretching and flexing her jaw. Adagio looked to Buck, who shrugged and smiled.
"...I'll allow it." Adagio said. 
"Woohoo!" Scoots said. Her fists shot into the air. 
"Now, Buck, there's a perfectly willing slave between my legs. Would you like to make use of her?" Adagio said, pawing at Buck's chest.
"Uhhh, Scoots, are you cool with being objectified like that?"
"Ugghhhh! Yeah, Buck, I am! Will ya stop thinkin' so hard, already? You're sucking the fun right out of the room!" Scootaloo groaned. 
"Wow, rude. Alright, so it's gonna be like that, huh? Fine. Fine, you see this, right here?" Buck said. He make a wiggling motion with his fingers right at his ankles, then stretched his arms out spread eagle, and opened his hands. "Boom. See that?  Trainin' weights're off, Scoots!" Buck said. He shuddered as he felt Adagio's silky fingers slide along his dick, which in a manner that was in no way coincidental, had ballooned back up to full power. 
"Oh? Finally getting serious, are we?" Adagio said. She moved off Scoots and let her sit up. 
"Wait, what? I thought the contest was over?" Scoots said, twiddling her thumbs.
"It is. And now I'm wound up, and you've gone an' pissed me off. So now, do you know what's gonna happen, Scoots?" Buck said. Adagio crept up behind Scootaloo and placed her hands on her shoulders. 
"Uhh...what?"
"Now Scoots, me an' Adagio are gonna fuck you silly." Buck said. "'dagio, shut her up." Buck snapped. Adagio turned Scoot's head to the side and began tongue fucking her mouth. "Uh-uh. No touchin', Scoots." Buck said. Scoot's tensing hands fell to her sides and balled into fists while Adagio sucked on her tongue. Buck reached out and pulled on Scoot's cargo shorts. With one smooth yank, Scootaloo's pants and panties were off. 
"Mmmph!?" Scootaloo tried to form a question, but her lips were so occupied with wrestling Adagio's that she had no time or space for it.
"'dagio, she looks plenty wet, but how 'bout'cha make sure?" Buck growled. He had put on the devil's grin and was certain it would not leave him for the rest of the night. 
Adagio's hand swan dived down Scoots' quivering frame and her fingers began to play with the adorable puffy vulva below. One finger slid into the valley while the other two squeezed down on either side. Scoots' eyes closed and she moaned into Adagio's mouth. 
"Take your time on that, babe. We want her nice and slick." Buck said. He sat back against the headboard and watched. 
Adagio followed, maneuvering Scootaloo so that the both of them were kneeling with their knees on either side of Buck's waist. 
"She's lookin' a lil' warm. Do me a favor and get'er tops off?" Buck said. Scootaloo gasped as Adagio's lips left hers. Adagio kept fondling Scoots with one hand, while the other slid under her shirt, undid a clasp, and then yanked everything over her head and straight off. "Woah, check that out!" Buck said. Scootaloo immediately went to cover her chest, but Adagio grabbed her wrists. Before Buck was a set of small breasts that looked to be about the size of a pair of perfect little handfuls, and the tiny orange nipples featured a pair of silvery bar piercings. 
Buck sat up, and his fingers started sliding up and down Scoots' chest. He traced her nipples in little circles with his thumbs, then pinched and pulled lightly on the bars. Scootaloo moaned then, and Buck tried not to chuckle as he realized her breath smelled a bit like Adagio and a bit like gummy worms. 
"Hands at your sides, little birdie~" Adagio hissed. Scootaloo shut her eyes and let her hands drop. She couldn't help but moan and Adagio prodded her opening with a finger from below, while two fingers worked her clitoris from above. Buck's tongue ran laps around her right nipple and at the same time, his fingers pulled and twisted at the left. 
"I can take it...I can take iiiit...!" Scootaloo's mumbled mantra rose into a high-pitched squeal as another of Adagio's fingers spread her open and squeezed inside.
"Hey, Scoots?" Buck said. His pinches and squeezes softened into caressing flicks. 
"Oh! Uh...h-hey, Buck!" Scoots panted.
"Hey, I haven't said it before, because, well, it's pretty weird. But you know what?" Buck said. He pressed down on her nipples, earning another squeal.
"W-w-what?" Scoots said.
"You're really pretty." Buck said. His lips pressed against hers for a moment. Scootaloo's thighs quaked. Adagio giggled.
"Oh, I think she's ready for you now, Buck." Adagio said.
"Yeah? How'd'ya figure?" Buck said, stroking Scoot's hair. 
"Remember our first night, Buck? How I rode you until I came?" 
"How could I forget?"	
"Well, Buck, Scootaloo just came, and she is a sopping, drooling mess down here."
"You wanna copy our first night?"
"In a manner of speaking. Why don't you lay down, Buck? Let me do the work." Adagio said. She pressed a hand against Buck's chest and he let himself flop back down onto the bed, his member giving a readied salute of a throb as Adagio positioned Scootaloo right over it. 
When her bottom lips kissed Buck's tip, Scootaloo looked around as if awakening from a dream. Buck smirked at her, and the sweet venom in Adagio's smile made her heart race. Adagio's hands were on her hips, making Scoots swivel them in small circles. 
"Fffffucking hell...Adagio, she's burning up!" Buck said. A tiny push from Adagio. The head pressed insistently against Scoots' drooling entrance. 
"I can take it...I can take it...I can take it...!" Scootaloo said. 
"Interesting theory." Adagio hummed. She bowed her head and slid Scootaloo's arm over her shoulders. Adagio reached down and spread Scootaloo's lips. Another push and Buck's cock head slid laboriously into place. 
"Hooooly shit...babe, she's tiny! It's so fucking tight!" Buck groaned. He reached out and covered one of Adagio's hands with his own. Scootaloo sunk further down and Buck shuddered. 
"Ooohhh nononono...ohhhhkaay, okay it's thick, it's thiiiick~!" Scootaloo squealed.
"Okay, stopstopstopstop!" Buck hissed. Adagio lifted Scoots's back up.
"Something the matter, Buck?" Adagio said.
"Oh, nothin' at all, except that I'm still sensitive, and being inside Scoots feels like fuckin' a panini press!" Buck grumbled.
"Wha...hey!?" Scoots said.
"No, no, in a good way. I'm just tellin' Adagio so she knows what's up." Buck said. He traced his thumb up Scoots' stomach and pressed gently against her abs. Every part of her was tight and smooth.
"Oh? Oh, I see. So you don't think you'll last, Buck?" Adagio said.
"Not long. You get what I'm sayin'?" Buck said. His thumb slid down past Scoots' belly button.
"Yes, I think I do. No holding back, then?" Adagio grinned. Scootaloo looked frantically between the two.
"I'll tell ya when." Buck said. 
"What're you guys talking about? What are you gonna do?" Scoots squeaked.
"This." Adagio said. 
Scootaloo's hips slammed all the way down onto Buck's shaft. About a fifth of Buck's cock didn't fit and Scoots hilted and screamed. She covered her mouth with a hand and her eyes rolled as Adagio began bouncing Scootaloo furiously on Buck's dick. 
"Ohmigoshohmigoshohmigosh!!!" Scootaloo rambled while Adagio pistoned her up and down. Buck's thumb found it's mark and started to twirl lightly against Scoot's clitoris.
"Good girl, good girl! Look at how well you're taking him!" Adagio praised.
"Buck, Buck, you got too much dick, broooo!" Scootaloo gasped shakily.
"Oh fuck, that's weird! That's fucking weird, don't say that!" Buck grunted.
"You are henceforth only allowed to refer to him as bro in the bedroom!" Adagio laughed.
"oOOOOkaaAAAAYYY!" Scootaloo squealed. Her nails were digging into Adagio's shoulder.
"Why would you do that!?" Buck said.
"okayokayokayokaygonnacumgonnacumgonnacumagain!" Scootaloo's tongue was starting to hang out of her mouth. Adagio started going even faster. 
"Fuck, fucking hell she's going ballistic! Hey, hey, babe, do me a favor!?" Buck groaned. Now his hands were on top of Adagio's, just trying to steady himself.
"Yes Buck, what is it?" Adagio said, patiently. 
"Babe, gimmie a nice, breathy 'Ara ara'...! She loves that shit!" Buck said, gritting his teeth.
"WHAT!?" Scootaloo shrieked. Adagio smiled and rolled her eyes.
"~Ara~Ara~" Adagio slammed Scoots' hips straight down, and Buck watched as Scootaloo's eyes rolled back. Buck had expected a scream, but instead, Scoot's hands flew up to her cheeks and her thighs squeezed in and her whole body gave a buzzing shake, her breath coming out in a trembling gasp. 
"Okay, okay, fuck, get her off!!!" Buck said, and when Adagio dragged Scoots off his cock, he erupted all over her thighs. Buck's seed shot up onto Scoot's stomach as she fell out of Adagio's grasp. She collapsed to the bed, her hands now down, holding onto her snatch as she quivered and tried to catch her breath. 
Adagio slid over to Buck and kissed his cheek. 
"I am not ready to have a conversation with you about polyamory." Buck said. Adagio laid her head right under his shoulder and cuddled up to him. 
"That's fine, because I wasn't asking." Adagio said. She scratched gently at his chest hair, wondering what that word actually meant.
"Scoots? ...y'allright?" Buck said.
"I'm f-f-f-f-fiiiine!" Scoots vibrated. 
"Okay, well, you should probably go use the bathroom. Come back if you wanna cuddle, okay? I guess you're spendin' the night--can she spend the night, Adagio?" Buck said.
"Why are you asking me, Buck?"
"Isn't she supposed to be your pet for the next two weeks?" Buck said. His fingers stroked the small of Adagio's back.
"Ah, yes, that's right. Yes, she can sleep over." Adagio yawned and closed her eyes.
"Yaaaay..." Scoots quavered. 
When Scootaloo waddled back from the bathroom, Adagio watched with groggy amusement as Buck doted on her and asked if she was hurting anywhere or if that was too hard, or if she needed any water, and Adagio laughed as Scootaloo wordlessly slid in between the two of them under the covers. 
As Buck and Scootaloo drifted off, Adagio was left with an unsettling conundrum. She had promised to share her past with Buck, and now there was a deadline. On Saturday, she was going to tell Buck who Adagio Dazzle was, and who she is now. She would need to take some time to decide what precisely to tell Buck. Adagio Dazzle had crossed an ocean of time trying both to deny her past and cling to it. And now Buck wanted to know it. Perhaps it would be better if she called the whole thing off. Buck would understand if she simply told him it was too painful to talk about. 
Adagio's eyes searched the darkness above the bed, and its only answer was the dark embrace of sleep. 
Sleep was good; it reminded Adagio of the cold safety of Home. Except now, she was sidled up to a flickering fireplace of a man.  
Adagio was warm and exposed.





Starlight Glimmer wondered if there would be any sleep for her tonight. Her pencil moved across the page with a schizophrenic bounce, scribbling and circling and crossing out. Her phone beeped beneath her other finger, and then the printer beneath the desk whirred to life and vomited up a sheet of paper. 
A tack in the board. A new addition. 
Starlight had been wrong again, and behind, but she was catching up. 
Starlight's lips turned up in a grin just briefly, then a deep frown as she took down notes.
There were more questions of course, but she had stumbled on a secret; one that she was sure Adagio didn't want anyone to know. 
Starlight had thought that Adagio was just using Buck as her current idiot shield, but the aura she had just seen was hideously powerful and unstable. It shorted out her talisman prematurely, and it supercharged Adagio with a single kiss. 
Adagio had been fawning over Buck and petting him up. She must have been terrified of him, trying to earn his favor; and for good reason.
Starlight Glimmer had thought that Adagio Dazzle was the greatest living threat to Canterlot, but she was wrong.
The true danger was Buck.
And now? Starlight had to decide what to do with him.
> Chapter 14 - Dancing On My Own (Robyn / Calum Scott)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everything in the world seemed determined to ruin Ditzy Doo's week. It was Wednesday morning, and she had the night shift today, along with Buck and Scootaloo. This was a change of pace; Buck had picked up a shift today to work the counter in place of Mr. Cake, while Ditzy was set to flex; switching between the kitchen and the front. They were both of them hurting for money, it seemed. 
Ditzy had just put Dinky on the bus and was sitting down to craft and decompress. For a bunch of reasons, this was hard. One of them was that it was hot as hades today, but another was that this week was unfolding into an ongoing book about Ditzy's stressful life.
Chapter 1: First, Dinky had been held in detention for reading under her desk in class. This was nonsense to Ditzy. For one, Dinky had dyslexia bad, so reading was a struggle in the first place, but she did her best. She had been reading a short story for her English class under her desk during history, apparently, and also apparently, the teacher had taken umbrage with that despite the fact that Dinky had already finished her work for the day. 
This was probably some private fight between teachers, but why involve Dinky in it? She had done a good thing; gone out of her way to try and study ahead, even though it was hard and she was punished for it! Detention was also total hogwash to Ditzy Doo. Kids have so little time to be kids and it's the job of adults to make sure they get as much of that time on their terms as possible, but you take time away from them when they step out of line? Didn't make any sense.
Chapter 2: Mr. and Mrs. Cake hadn't listened to her when she told them that they should stock up on some nice cold treats or maybe even invest in a better freezer or get the one they had fixed. 
"Honestly, I may be wall-eyed but even I could see what was coming", she murmured. What had she said? She said that the summer was going to come sooner than later and people were gonna be lookin' for ice cream, not cupcakes and then that ice cream joint around the west side of Center had opened up and would you lookit that, all of those loyal customers went and vamoosed right over there for the ice cream that Ditzy had said they should get over at Sugar Cube Corner! 
Whoops! 
Now sales were down and so were tips and that had thrown out Ditzy's plan to treat Dinky to a trip to the zoo to make up for detention! Ditzy was currently half-hitching a bunch of aspiring friendship bracelets that Dinky wanted to give out at recess. Dinky didn't have many friends, sadly, and her few friends were members of the faculty, her own mother and Buck. Dinky had wanted to go out into the woods and find little animal bones to put on the bracelets, and for the life of her, Ditzy couldn't figure out a way to explain why that was inappropriate.
Chapter 3: Ditzy was so busy the last two weeks that she had only had time to shower and not take baths or even try a single one of her homemade bath bombs. This was a tragedy because baths were how she really soothed herself, and also because without soaking in warm water, her back was starting to really act up again. What was it about crossing the 30-year-old threshold that made your spine suddenly decide to rebel? Her breasts had a lot to do with it; they had a lot to do with a lot of the troubles in her life, but it wasn't their fault that every bone in her body seemed to pop when she did her stretches. Maybe she'd take a bath today before work. It might be true that she'd just get dirty again during her shift, but she'd be able to get through it and she would smell like lavender and daffodils and that would make people more forgiving if she dropped their cake, right?
Chapter 4: Ditzy had been seeing less and less of Buck just lately, and she knew every single reason why, because she'd been trying to ignore them as they buzzed around her head. Ditzy felt guilty when she threw the weave at the floor. She tried to glare her fists back into hands, but it didn't work. It didn't work, because she was furious. 
The bulb in her closet had burnt out, but she was too short to reach it and she didn't have a step stool, and if she tried to stack things to get at it, she would definitely fall and hurt herself. She needed Buck for that. She had been sleeping with a pillow over her head on Saturday Nights because Buck had been hosting his loud friends and nursing booze and watching cartoons. She had been trying to not think about last Sunday, when she had tried to doze in Buck's bed next to Dinky, and had heard Buck and Adagio whispering and then singing and then canoodling in the kitchen. He had gotten Adagio to apologize later on, that was what the whispering was about, but Adagio had the poor man on a string; apologizing for nothing and soothing her and...and Buck had sounded excited under his breath, and Adagio had moaned and purred at him and Ditzy Doo couldn't stand this.
Buck was just trying to live a happy and normal life, and so was Ditzy and Adagio just dropped in from outer space and she stank like magic and she was ruining everything.
This was going on for way too long; Buck should have gotten wise by now, shouldn't he? Adagio was poison and she was going to run him through the wringer and try to use him all up. Wasn't that obvious? She had to have a real talk with him about this. He was spending more time with Adagio, now, and they had a date at the end of the week and they were probably gonna kiss! and hold hands!! and she was so, so mean and why couldn't Buck see it!!!? Ditzy Doo's fists pressed against her closed eyes and she shuddered and tried not to sob. 
But Ditzy Doo should have known better too, shouldn't she? She had learned in little ways the things that Buck liked in girls, and Adagio was probably a whole bunch of them. She was confident. That was probably the thing. She acted like she owned the whole galaxy and for SOME REASON Buck couldn't stay away from her, even though she was just a cruel, angry little leech who didn't know the first thing about baking, and...Ditzy Doo stopped that thought. 
She wasn't being fair, and she hated how ugly that made her feel. She just wanted to tell Buck how she felt and hug him a lot and now she felt like if she didn't do something drastic, she'd never get the chance because she had let Adagio waltz into his life because she had gotten lost on the way to speed dating and this was all her fault. 
Buck liked girls who were confident and direct and...nasty? Ditzy Doo guessed that was a word for it. Adagio was nasty. She looked at Buck like a piece of meat! And that wasn't fair, because Buck was a whole three-course meal and no Ditzy, no that's super reductive and also real corny, just stop it and get back to the bracelets, you're wasting your free time thinking about this!
But was it a waste? Her concerns had to be valid because she had come in to do a little dusting and check on Buck and he wasn't home, which meant that he hadn't made it back after guy's night and Adagio had been invited to that, so he probably went home with her and...and Ditzy Doo was crying now. Stupid. Stupid, cowardly little thing she was, all she could do was cry and moan and, and KNIT while another woman was laying under the man that she loved, waiting for a chance to bite his head off. 
What was she going to do? What could she do? 
Ditzy Doo had a plan. She was going to try and get Buck, but it was taking some time. She had started taking dance classes down at the rec. Swing and jazz, specifically. Ditzy Doo liked jazz music, and she really liked electro swing. She knew Buck liked it too; he listened to it all the time when he was writing, and like, stuff with 'hop' and 'chill' and 'wave' and 'lo-fi beats to study/relax to' in the name.	
Ditzy Doo was going to get good at dancing, and then she would surprise Buck with an invitation to, I dunno, like a dance club, or something, and she would show off and he would just fall right in love with her on the spot, because she knew something Adagio didn't; Buck loved to dance, and he really really liked girls that could dance, Ditzy remembered he mentioned that sometime, maybe it was this year, maybe it was when they met briefly back at Canterlot High, but it was marked important in Ditzy's mind, so it was true and she was going to get him, but it turned out that dancing was hard when you were a natural klutz, and the going had been slow. 
But, it also turned out that learning to dance was actually really fun! And Ditzy had had a good time learning steps and chatting with the other ladies and twirling and prancing, and she really was starting to get good, but then she would come home after her class on Saturday and she would hear Buck and everybody else having a good time and she would get so jealous it hurt her eyes. 
Buck hadn't invited her to Cartoons and Vodka, and he hadn't invited Dinky either, and she understood, there was alcohol and that wasn't appropriate for a minor, but why not Ditzy? Was she not 'cool' enough? Well, Buck had said he knew that Ditzy was tired at the end of the week and that was true, but it would have been nice to be asked, at least. Ditzy Doo could be cool! She could hang! What was she even doing? Buck. She was being upset about Buck, again.
Ditzy Doo couldn't dance Buck off his feet if he spent all his time in Adagio's arms. The two weren't even really dating, how had she gotten so close, so fast? It wasn't fair. It had taken Ditzy a few months to peel through Buck's layers of introversion, but this witch had just kicked his door down and now he was kissing her feet. It didn't make any sense, and Ditzy was tired of thinking about this, she hadn't even had breakfast yet! 
Ditzy Doo's stomach rumbled as she picked herself up from the half-done bracelet pile and rolled her wrists. A nice cup of tea and some eggs would make this crummy morning a lot better, she reasoned. She grabbed her phone and turned on some nice, bouncy swing music.
She opened the window in her bedroom. This was a morning for a breezy floral sleeveless button-up tee and a fun little pair of stripy spandex shorts. Wearing something cool and flirty would make her feel better, definitely, she thought.
It didn't, of course, but she felt cute now, and that was a win, she guessed. What's that smell?
Ditzy Doo stepped into her kitchen just in time to see a haze of smoke filling the air and hear the fire alarm going off.





If Buck was being honest with himself, and he always was, painfully so, he had to admit something. He was fucking exhausted, and not in the normal mid-week in capitalist hell way. His social batteries were running on fumes, and his head hurt and if he was being real, his balls were aching from cumming so hard over and over again. 
Adagio had been nice enough to drop him off at home, but it had come at the horrible cost that she did it in the morning when she was on her way to work and as Buck was waving her and Scoots off in front of his complex, all he could think was that he was several hours too early to exist. While he had slept like a narcoleptic bump on a log after railing Adagio and Scoots, he still felt like he'd need to sleep for a few thousand more years before he was fine again. 
Buck had managed to make it home without forgetting his keys, which was pretty sweet, but what wasn't as sweet was when he did his budgeting for next week. Turns out, because tips were all fucked up, he was losing his tug-o'-war with the electric company. He was going to have to either stop hosting Cartoons and Vodka nights or just accept that next month was going to be one without lights or a freezer to stick his head into when it got this fucking hot again, and it would.
Buck looked over at the jar of cash on the stool by the door. He couldn't start picking into his vacation savings. The world was too cruel for that; he would need to get away and finally, finally let himself relax on a beach on the edge of Lord Hoof Island one of these days, and if he started nickel and diming out of that jar it would never end and then he'd be back at square one. 
For fuck's sake. Buck had put out three different articles the last two weeks and none of those lines had even fucking wiggled. He was going to have to go and buy a buncha trash ramen during groceries before work, and that would be a really fucking embarrassing thing to do in front of Sunburst. Buck was so tired of being ground down under the heel of this fucking city. At least Adagio had offered to pay for their date; thank fuck for small mercies, but rent was a ticking doomsday clock and Buck didn't have the luxury of a bunker to run to. His only other option for quick cash was entirely unthinkable.
The worst part was that Buck, against all odds, was still fucking horny. He had genuinely wanted to go a few rounds when he woke up hot and hard, but Scoots had said that she wasn't as horny as the two of them and had politely said 'No' and Adagio had places to be, despite her favorite place at the moment being impaled in Buck's lap. So that was also a no, and now Buck was home and he was tired and frustrated and sweaty and he was having the genuine, horrifying thought that it was probably too warm to even jerk off without getting sweatier. Canterlot's spring was bullshit. 
Maybe he could go and hang out with Ditzy Doo. There was no central air and heat in the apartments this far north, why would there be, but Ditzy had a pretty fucking sexy fan in her living room, and she liked to do lemonade this time of year and a nice, tall, wet glass of that was making Buck's nipples hard just thinking about it. Well, that was a weird, but not inaccurate thought, Buck said to himself. 
Also, Ditzy was there and Buck hadn't seen her in a bit. Ditzy Doo was, to put it bluntly, the most peaceful space in Buck's life and he wanted to see her badly if only to remind her that he was alive and okay and try to confirm the same from her. She'd been busting her ass with overtime at work since that broken window last month and he felt so fucking bad for her. 
Ditzy Doo was a tough, wonderful woman, but she was also human. Buck needed to remember to make her some nice new muffin recipe or just let her ramble without interruption for a while. That would be nice, to just breathe and relax for a bit instead of living in a supernatural porn drama for just one morning. He might even make it this morning if his brain would stop trying to take a crap in his soul for one minute. 
He needed to ask her something, anyway.
There was also the pressing conundrum that he was now sitting on his couch hard as a fucking rock, and he didn't want to go waving that in Ditzy's face when he knew that she wasn't comfortable with that stuff. He thought he might put a shirt on and cover up. Did Ditzy have a problem with dude nipples? Buck didn't know. 
Man, those dresses that Ditzy wore were always super nice and breezy. He wondered if he paid her or offered a favor, would she make him a nice short one that he could wear while jogging. He always ran too hot when he jogged, and going with a skirt would probably pay him back with a cool breeze between his legs. 
Ditzy was good for skirts and she looked damn good in them, fuck. Actually, Ditzy very subtly had amazing fucking legs, and every once in a while she would come over in a short skirt and some cute-ass kneesocks and Buck would have to actually go out and pace around in the parking lot because fuck, man! Fuck, this wasn't helping. He'd just have to tuck himself if he went to see Ditzy Doo, because he was feeling needy, now. God damn it. 
Buck sighed and stood. His normal exhaustion was layering with the weird new exhaustion of the spaces between being around Adagio, and the result was that he just needed a bit of recovery time. He would have to tell everyone that Cartoons and Vodka was too expensive for him, and that was sad, but at least that would mean that his Saturdays would open back up, and then they could become his hermit nights instead, and that was probably the best for his introverted ass. 
Buck had just resolved himself to the task of pretending to be normal and going to see Ditzy Doo when he heard the screech of her fire alarm going off right next door. 





Ditzy Doo threw her oven mitts to the floor and flapped a frantic towel in front of the kitchen window. She'd managed to get the oven off, sure, but the place was filling with smoke that she needed to get rid of if she was ever going to get the wall demon to stop screaming. The keening wail of the fire alarm made her ears sore as she tried to banish the weird brown smoke, and she was just about to pull out the faucet and start spraying when she heard her door slam open.
"Ditzy, move! I got it!" She knew it was Buck. He had said it urgently, but he hadn't yelled because he knew that would freak her out. Ditzy stumbled out of the way, and then heard the hissing of the little fire extinguisher that Buck had in his hands. "Go get the rubbin' alcohol from my bathroom, alright? We're gonna need it for the powder!" Buck said. He had snuffed the blaze and now he was waving at the smoke with a big, wide newsprint sketchbook. The smoke was backing off.
When Ditzy got back, Buck was standing under the now silent fire extinguisher, wiping his brow. She had to take a moment in Buck's bathroom to steady herself before she came back with the square shaped bottle. 
She had needed help, and then Buck had swooped in like a superhero and saved the day and her heart was beating so fast! He was adjusting the waist of his pants and he was yawning, and he looked tired and oh no, had she woken him up just now? When did he get home? Did she ruin his brief moment away from work and Adagio? 
"Ditzy, are you okay? Nothin' burnt? The hell happened in here?" Buck said. He was looking Ditzy up and down and walking around her and he wasn't checking her close, he wasn't touching her and she wanted him to touch her so bad but he was being sweet so can we just focus a little?
"I'm okay, Buck! It's uh...well, it's gonna sound silly, but I forgot that Dinky was messing around with shrinky dinks this morning before school and I think she might've...she might've colored them with crayons and well, she also forgot to tell me she was doing that, so here we are."
"Okay, but you're not hurt, right? How're your hands?" Ditzy felt a shock come barreling through her brain as Buck inspected her. He was holding her hands so gently, it was like he had picked up a fallen baby bird, and he was fighting panic away from his face and Ditzy Doo couldn't help herself, anymore, her arms flew around Buck's neck and she squeezed him. 
"Oh, oh! Okay, okay, hey, it's alright, Ditzy. C'mon, let's get you sat down." Buck soothed. He was sweaty and warm and soft and...firm? Ditzy thought long and hard about long and hard things as Buck sat her down on the couch. He patted her shoulder and threw his head back and breathed a sigh of relief. 
"I'm so fuckin' glad you're okay, Ditz!" Buck said. He rubbed his eyes, then.
"Buck! Language!" Ditzy had said it on instinct, but she shut her mouth immediately. Dinky wasn't home, so it didn't really matter.
"Right, right, sorry. I didn't mean to offend. M'just relieved, that's all." Buck said. "You got the rubbing alcohol?" He had a hand on his forehead, over his eyes. 
"Yeah, Buck, I got it." Ditzy said. She tilted her head at him.
"Okay, that's good. I dunno about the tray I saw in there, but cleaning all the powder from the foam in there is gonna be a bitc--a whole production, prolly, and it would'a been worse without alcohol. We're gonna need garbage bags and scrubbers and thick gloves if we're gonna get done with it before work." Buck sniffed. 
"...Buck, are you okay?" Ditzy said. She gasped slightly as Buck's hand fell away from his face.
"Yeah, I'm okay. I was scared, you know? I heard that alarm next door and I thought what if you were in here or god forbid, Dinky and it freaked me out, 'cause I don't know what I would do without you guys and I guess it really scared the hell out of me, you know, Ditzy?" Buck simpered. He breathed through his mouth and tears were gathering at the corners of his eyes. One of them slid down his cheek and dripped from his chin. 
"Buck..." Ditzy wanted to reach out.
"Haha...what the hell? Am I seriously cryin' right now? God, I'm sorry Ditzy, I'm sorry about this, I'm just relieved that you're okay, you know, I'm sorry." Buck said. He started to wipe his face, laughing. "I'm sorry, I can't get it to stop. Lemmie get outta your way for a bit. I've got the stuff we'll need for cleanup, don't worry, I got this, I just need to calm my stupid ass down..." Buck was on his feet, but Ditzy caught his hand before he could run away. She had been here before.
"Buck...it's okay. Come here." Buck plopped back down on the couch and covered his eyes with his right hand. He didn't let go of Ditzy's hand in his left. How could we be here again so soon? Buck was falling apart, and he couldn't be this shaken just from a little smoke. He couldn't be this upset over Ditzy. "Buck, is it okay if I hold you for a little bit? Just for a little while?"  Ditzy offered. Buck took a deep breath and he nodded behind his hand.
Ditzy Doo's hand slid gently up Buck's arm and onto his shoulder, then around to his back, and up to his head. Ditzy Doo pulled on him and turned him gently until his face was buried in her chest. Safe. Ditzy shimmied closer to him and pet his hair and let her head lay atop his. Buck's shoulders shook and his breath shuddered but it was okay. It was okay because she was here and he was safe and they were both going to be okay, because they had each other.
"Is not just the scare, is it?" Ditzy said it quietly against his head. Buck shook his head against her. "You've been stressing out again, and you're tired, aren't you?"  Buck nodded. "Okay. It's okay, Buck, I'm right here, it's okay." Ditzy said. She felt that if she let him go, he was going to fall apart like a house of cards. She squeezed him, instead. She was starting to feel a bit bolder.
"Buck...it's Adagio, too, isn't it? Has she been stressing you out, too? Or is it just hosting people, or is it work?" Ditzy tried.
"S'not her fault I'm like this. It's nobody else's fault." Buck whined. Ditzy scratched his scalp, back around his ponytail.
"It's not your fault either, Buck. You just need to pace yourself a little more, and maybe take things a little slower, huh?" Ditzy said. Buck took a wet and shaky breath and nodded. His arms were around Ditzy's waist. He was so tired, and Ditzy understood; she understood better than anyone what living in 'tired' meant. And so, she knew what he needed. 
"It's going to be okay. Buck? You hear me? It's going to be okay..." Ditzy said. She wanted to sing him a lullaby, but she was no good at that sorta thing. Instead, she summoned up all of her courage and she kissed the top of his head, over and over again in a little patter. Eventually, Buck pulled himself off Ditzy Doo. He sat up, red-faced and sniffled. 
"I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm sorry." Buck said. Ditzy pulled him back to her and kissed his cheek and let her forehead settle against his. Her traitorous eyes slipped down to Buck's lap for just a sec and came back up with a little piece of information that Ditzy really didn't need right now. 
"It's okay, Buck. I'm here." Ditzy whispered. She made sure he could see her smiling. She was right all along. This was how she would fix the distance between them. She was still his neighbor, and he knew that he could rely on her, and she loved him so much, she took his cheeks in her hands, and her lips touched his, finally, and he wasn't pulling away, he was touching her, and...but no. None of that happened. 
Instead, Ditzy Doo nuzzled her forehead against Buck and listened as his breathing finally evened out.  

"Well...well, it's gonna be a bit before the oven cools enough to clean, I'm pretty sure." Buck said. "There anything else I can do for you around here?" Buck was reaching out, trying to find normal again after he embarrassed himself so badly in front of Ditzy Doo. He hated that he kept just being a fucking wreck in front of her. She must have thought he was a big fucking baby. He needed to be something like a man. Ditzy's smile didn't seem all that judgemental to him; she was being extremely patient, and he was both happy for that and angry that she had to be.
"Oh! Um...actually, yeah, there is. The, uh, the lightbulb in my closet is out and I'm too stubby to change it." Ditzy laughed. "Could you...?" She said.
"Sure thing. Where's the spare?" Buck said. This he could do without fucking crying, surely. 
"It's on the top left shelf in there, you can't miss it." Ditzy said.
"Ah, well, if you could show me, that'd help. I got no confidence in my ability to find stuff, 'specially when I haven't seen it before." Buck said, scratching his head.
"Is that a...a ADHD thing?" Ditzy said. She was pulling Buck by his hand to the bedroom.
"Yeah. Object permanence's one thing, but when I don't know what it looks like, I cain't even start to look for it." Buck said. He tried to stifle his drawl without even thinking about it. Ditzy's hand was really soft, and she was in a really cute getup today, he noticed. She was probably planning to go for a walk or something when the alarm went off. That was a shame. Maybe if he worked fast, she could still have some of the morning or noon to herself. 
Buck was standing in the closet, now. The room was well lit, but the closet was obviously kind of dark. Ditzy Doo handed him the bulb, but he looked up and frowned.
"I'm gonna have'ta stand on my ottoman." Buck said. "Can you grab that? The short, thick, kinda fuzzy thing in front of my couch?" Ditzy had been facing away, looking at the floor.
"Right, right, right! Thick, and uh, uh...kinda fuzzy." Ditzy said, wandering off. Good fucking job, Buck. You made her uncomfortable.

"Hold her steady, okay? There's wheels at the bottom." Buck said, up in the darkness of the closet. He'd stepped up on the footrest and below, Ditzy Doo was holding on to it and looking up. He seemed giant from down here. Like 'A' giant! Tall, he was kinda tall, that's what Ditzy had meant to think, not the other thing. She had tried to sort of scoot around to his other side to get a less distracting angle, but Buck had a nice butt, and that just wasn't fair. 
"How's Dinky doin' in school?" Buck said it casually, a few million miles away, and Ditzy was thankful for the rope he'd offered her so she could climb back into a normal morning. 
"It's lookin' like 1st grade is going to be rough on her." Ditzy said. Why was he taking so long to screw in the bulb? Was he waiting for something? Wait. Wait, was he waiting for Ditzy to make a move? Did he know? Is that why he's hard? Ditzy stuffed the thoughts into the back of her head. 
"I'm sorry to hear that, Ditzy. I had a lotta damn trouble early on in school...and later on, and pretty much the whole time, actually. Some folks just ain't made for standardized education. But hey, it's still early, I'm sure with time and the right attention, Dinky'll get on her feet and it'll be smooth sailin'. She's quick, you know? You've got a clever girl, Ditzy. When Dinky sits down and starts scribblin' and doodlin', I see my sister back when we were little, and my sister's a genius. Dinky's a curious thing, and I don't think a rough first year's gonna put that fire out, you know?" Buck said. He mumbled something then, wondering why he was having such a hard time getting it in.
"Dinky is going to be fine, I'm sure, but right now I think she needs to get used to being around other kids. I think that's the real ticket. She can't spend all her time here or being babysat or looking for dead stuff in the woods." Ditzy said.
"Do, uh, do those things gotta be mutually exclusive?" Buck said. He covered his eyes as the new bulb finally lit up. 

The light was so furiously bright that it caught Ditzy right in the eyes, and her hands shot up to rub them and suddenly Buck was wobbling and the ottoman was rolling around the floor while Ditzy chased it, and Buck had fallen, but it was fine, because he'd fallen onto the bed! And Ditzy was there, she'd tripped on the ottoman, and her hand had fallen in a very embarrassing and convenient place and Buck and her, they looked up from where she was squeezing him, and they blinked and Buck smiled. 
"You uhh...seem pretty curious about that. You...wanna take a look inside?" Buck said it careful, low and growling. Ditzy didn't need to be asked twice. She giggled and bit her lip and pulled the zipper down...
And that also didn't happen. 

"Well, I don't want the other kids to make fun of her. I know what it's like being the weird kid, and I don't want that for Dinky." Ditzy said. Buck hopped down from the footrest and scratched his chin.
"Well, hey, that makes two of us, huh? Tell ya what; Dinky can be as much of a weird kid as she wants, and we'll just make sure she's the right kinda weird, ya know? Bein' weird ain't a curse, really, it makes some'a the most wonderful people in the world. Like you." Buck said. He patted Ditzy's shoulder as he passed her by, and she thought she might start crying, then. She had a man in her life that supported her and her daughter without compromise, and he was here fixing up her mess, and all the while he was going through a stressful time on his own, and what was Ditzy doing? She was sizing him up and thinking about making a move. What in the world was wrong with her?
"Man, it's hot. Say, Ditzy. I dunno if you set up any of that lemonade you make, but if you want, I could go and deal with the mess in the oven while you sit back'n have a glass. So long as you save one for me, of course." He was wiping his brow and looking back at her from the doorway with a warm smile. That was right. Nothing was wrong with her, it's just that the man of her dreams was in here and he was sweaty and hot and bothered and stressed and he was being very nice and and and...
"Oh, well, uhm, I haven't made any this week, but I can put a pitcher together and put it in the freezer for a little bit while you work, no trouble at all, I was, I was just thinking I should get some lemonade going, hahaha!" Ditzy said. She actually pushed past Buck through the threshold and kind of almost knocked him over with her breasts as she went by. Ditzy was leaning down into the refrigerator for lemons before Buck could respond.
"You sure? I don't wanna impose," Buck was saying, somewhere behind her. She heard him tear off a garbage bag and startled and hit her head on the fridge ceiling when she heard the weird, rubbery crack of it being shaken out. Buck's hand was on her back as she held her head, wincing. She imagined in that second that Buck's hands were both there, and they slid around her sides to her chest, and...
"Sorry, sorry! I'm not tryin' to startle ya. You okay?" He said.
"I'm okay, don't worry! Just a little bump, that's all! Here, do you like it sweet or more sour?" Ditzy asked a question she knew the answer to already because she desperately wanted to keep this casual conversation going. If she started taking long, awkward pauses, Buck might think he was making her uncomfortable and then he'd rabbit away. 
"Sweet, definitely. Sweet would do me just fine." Buck said. Ditzy giggled in a way that she hoped came off and normal and not nervous.
Once the foam had been collected into trash bags, which Buck disposed of, the only thing left was to scrub out the oven. Buck was on that weird footrest again, this time using it as a bench to lay on while he scrubbed the ceiling of the oven. He had been right about the rubbing alcohol. The powder was coming out in big, runny clumps once Buck started scrubbing,
For the lemonade, Ditzy stirred in both honey and sugar, which was exactly how Buck and Dinky seemed to like it, and was very glad that Buck couldn't see her occasionally turning to gawk at his bottom half while he scrubbed in there. The poor thing was soaked in sweat now, but it seemed at least his...swelling had gone down. This was a good thing, right? Right! Right. She watched as Buck's hands came out from the oven and dropped the rag and bottle of alcohol the short distance to the floor, then press on the top of the oven, stop, then cross over his chest in contemplation.
"Hey, Ditzy? ...Could I maybe get some help in here?" Buck echoed from the depths of Narnia. Ditzy had lost focus at some point and shuddered back into reality as Buck spoke.
"Sure, Buck! What do you need?"

In the auspices of cheesy porno setups, it can be said that one of the most classic and most popular is that of the "stuck in the fucking wall" scenario. As the awkward twin sister of the glory hole,'stuck in the fucking wall' is a scenario wherein a hapless individual gets inexplicably trapped in a space that they somehow managed to squeeze into, but cannot get out of due to ineffable forces. Those forces of course, are the denizens of that legendary fey realm known as the 'pornographer's writing room' which is a place known to be filled with magical individuals who have the miraculous ability to draft with one hand. 
A less explored sub-genre of this little chestnut of the film industry is the 'housewife trapped in whatever the fuck crevice of the home while doing housewife things and then, I dunno man, like her stepson just gets up in there while she's stuck' genre, which was similar to that one video that Buck used to have saved on his external hard drive with the japanese woman in the elevator door, which he deleted when he got to the age where school girl uniforms began to disgust him. 
The former scenario, the one with the housewife, was the situation that Buck found himself in, except he in fact was the housewife, and it was sweaty and hot instead of being sexy because, as it turned out, the small size ovens in these horrible fucking apartments were just big enough for him to fit his big stupid shoulders in, but didn't really have the clearance that would allow him to slip out unless he could remove his arms, and even then it would still be a big hassle. These were the thoughts running through Buck's head as he wondered precisely how to phrase his question without making things awkward. He took a breath and made his best attempt.
"Ditzy, I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm stuck in your oven, and it smells like a barbershop in here, and I think the fumes from the fire retardant foam are startin' to make me dummer'n usual." 
"Oh...oh no! Uhm, how can I help!?" Ditzy said.
"I uh...I'm thinkin', uhhh...uhh, like dish soap, and you're prolly gonna need'ta yank me outta here." Buck drawled. It occurred to Ditzy that Buck's shoulders were indeed wedged in the door of the oven, and he was gesturing with his hands as if this were a perfectly casual situation, but at some point, he had gotten hard again and she didn't really know how to process that, so she just grabbed the dish soap and put it in one of his groping hands. "No, no, I don't think...I don't think that's gonna work, logistically.'Cause I been gettin' at the walls of this thing, but I don't think I'm gonna be very accurate at squirtin' dish soap on my shoulders and really gettin' it in there. And, and I know this's gonna be awkward, 'cause it looks like my old friend 'no reason boner' is crashin' the party, but I think you're gonna haveta get in here and give me a little shine, you know? Not the boner! No, I mean the shoulders, I need ya to get soap on my shoulders-- am I articulatin' this right?" Buck rambled. 
"You want me to crawl in there and rub soap on your shoulders so you can slide out?" 
"I mean, yeah, and I'm gonna ask ya to not be awkward about it, but--and this's the inappropriate bit--but due to my understandin' of spatial dynamics, you're gonna have'ta crawl in on toppa me to do it?"
"Oh...uhmm..." Ditzy Doo blinked and for one beautiful, horrible moment, her eyes focused squarely not on the situation in her kitchen, but on the situation in Buck's pants, and to her profound embarrassment, came to the decision that she was not only not opposed to getting all up on Buck's lap, but this was, as a matter of fact, something that she was so excited about that she simultaneously wondered if she ought to excuse herself and also does Buck do hands cupped or fingers stitched during coitus? She bet fingers stitched; he was a sensitive type, and she definitely saw him holding hands like that with Adagio. "No, no, it's okay, I'm coming in!" Ditzy said, finally. If Adagio were here, Buck wouldn't be in this situation, because Buck very probably wouldn't have left the bedroom after just screwing in the lightbulb. 
"Okay, okay, don't, just, alright..." Buck mumbled. It grew darker inside the oven as Ditzy Doo waddled over Buck's prone form and squeezed in, her breasts smushing up against Buck's chest. Ditzy groped around blindly, poked Buck in the eye maybe two or three times, then carefully followed the curve of his jaw, then his traps, and finally arrived late for her appointment at his shoulder with the bottle of dish soap in hand. "Hah, well, I betcha didn't expect to spend the mornin' on toppa me like this, but you know, I'm glad it was you instead of the handyman." Buck joked, to no one's laughter. "You're hands are real soft; what kinda lotion do ya use, Ditzy? Gotta get me some'a that." 
"It's uh, it's an old recipe I do at home. Coconut oil and almond oil'n...stuff." Ditzy couldn't see much in here, but she was sure that if there was a mirror, she could see her face heating up. She wanted to tell Buck to please stop talking, but she was trying to stay focused on applying the soap with her fingers. This was awkward enough already without Buck...admitting...that he didn't mind...Ditzy being on top of him? Well, Ditzy supposed he didn't have to admit it, when she could feel his approval between her legs. 
"Really? Man, everytime I turn my head, you've got another little craft goin' on. You can, uh, I think you've got me good and lubricated there, Ditzy. Again, sorry 'bout this. Hey, bright side? I bet you're oven's never been this clean!" Buck chuckled. Ditzy had gotten caught up feeling the curve of Buck's shoulders against the oven walls. 
"Right...I'm just gonna..." Ditzy slid out of the oven with intentional slowness. Something in her said that if she let her breasts drag along Buck's body, the whole situation with Adagio would end sooner rather than later. She crawled off Buck and sat for a moment, between his legs, her girls sitting heavily in his lap and she began to think very quickly. Buck liked girls that were direct, and she saw him; she saw him blush when Adagio said corny porno lines at him. What if...what if Ditzy just happened to take advantage, just this once? Buck at the very bottom of everything was a simple man of simple pleasures, even if he liked to overthink. What if Ditzy just...just made things really simple?

"I know you're stuffy and uncomfortable in there, Buck, and I know you're stressed, but I think I know a way to help the both of us relax." Ditzy said it almost experimentally. The intention felt alien on her tongue. The rest felt natural. 
She slid her hands under her breasts and saw Buck's chest rise as he sucked in a breath. His zipper came down, and as he slipped free under the weight of Ditzy's heavy top, he went silent. She knew there would be questions, later. And probably apologies. But this made sense. 
Buck had been waiting for her to make a move all this time, it turned out because he didn't complain as Ditzy undid the button under her bust and let Buck slide right in. 
He didn't complain when Ditzy squeezed her breasts on him from either side and if he was going to complain, his words crumbled into a low moan as Ditzy began to slide her breasts up and down and let them slap into his lap. 
This was how she would win. Adagio thought that she was the only one who could play slutty, but Ditzy Doo knew what boys liked. She knew that Buck liked her, and she knew one other thing; when Adagio was off at work or off in that ivory tower of hers, Ditzy Doo would be right next door. She could come and comfort Buck in ways Adagio simply couldn't, and she could do it almost whenever she wanted. She could prove to Buck that he didn't need a bad girl; he just needed a good girl with even better technique. 
It was only a matter of time before Buck's hips began to jump in time with Ditzy's rhythm, and suddenly Ditzy didn't have to do anything but hold the girls steady and let Buck finish on his own. She would take him to bed, then, and she would show him everything he was missing and they would be happy, finally, because they would be together. 
It would be different, this time. 

But then, of course, none of that happened either. 

What happened instead is that Ditzy got up and grabbed Buck by the legs, and after a bunch of grunting, she finally got Buck to slide free. He smacked the back of his head on the tile, but he waved it off and said it was better than taking his meals inside of 'oven penitentiary' and Ditzy had given off an ugly, snorting laugh. 
They were standing in the kitchen, now, and after the two of them munched on some sandwiches that Ditzy had in the fridge, Buck had downed two glasses of lemonade, and Ditzy was about to pour another one when he spoke up again.
"Man, Ditzy, I wish I could drink this all summer...actually, hey, how 'bout a lil' quid pro quo? If I buy the lemons and sugar and stuff, will you put a pitcher of this in my fridge at the end of the week? Then, I guess I'll go and get some more ingredients, I guess, and we can keep it goin'!" Buck said.
"That sounds kinda expensive, Buck." Ditzy said. One of her eyes was already refusing to look at him, while the other just kind of wandered around.
"No, no, lemons're cheap this time o' year, and it's only gonna get hotter. Having your lemonade on tap would be a godsend!" 
"Okay, if you insist, I can make that happen." Ditzy was mumbling it now. She had stopped blushing about her little fantasies and had settled into a cold sort of distant shame. Adagio and Buck weren't 'really dating', sure, but even getting into the headspace of that little homewrecker made Ditzy feel slimy and gross. 
"Well, is there anything I can do for you in exchange?" Buck said. 
"Just don't get stuck in anything else. We got work tonight." Ditzy said, earning a laugh from Buck.
"Oh, jokes, now! Man...I'm sorry about the oven thing, don't know what I was thinkin' climbing so far in there. I guess the real lesson is that I shouldn't be up at hours before 11am, even if it is to stop a fire. I dunno how you mornin' people do it." Buck punctuated the sentence with a yawn that hung around a little too long. 
Ditzy checked the little cuckoo clock she kept on her wall. It had been a gift, and she had unceremoniously torn out the mechanism that made it screech when the hour turned over long ago. It was about a quarter past 8 now. 
"Buck...if you like, you know, as thanks for all your help, I could...I could let you take a nap on my bed and get the fan on you. Would you like that?"
"Really? You're okay with some strange man who smells like dish soap rolling around on your bed?"
"You're not a stranger, Buck. It's okay!"
"Well, I'm pretty strange, but sure, I don't wanna look a queen sized gift bed in the mouth. Or, uh...that one kinda got away from me. I'll be cleverer after the nap, maybe." He was already shuffling toward the bedroom. 

Buck looked like he belonged in that bed. The second he laid back and closed his eyes, Ditzy could see him on the other side of Dinky from her, stroking the child's hair and smiling at Ditzy with those big golden eyes. Ditzy set the fan to max and shut off the lights and closed the shutter, and for the first time in a while, Buck looked like he was at peace. She wanted to join him, and touch him and be on top of him again, but it just didn't seem right to disturb him, now, but before she could leave, Buck sat up.
"Hey, actually, Ditzy, I wanted to ask ya somethin'. A favor. Well, one more, besides the lemonade. I've got an old jacket in my closet; a red leather one. It's got a ripped sleeve, and I was wondering if you'd sow it up?" Buck said. 
"Oh, sure! Uhm...when do you need it?"
"Saturday. I'm...going on a date with Adagio and I wanted to dress nice, you know?" He said it like he was admitting to a dirty secret, like chewing gum in church. He looked away when he said Adagio's name. The bane of Ditzy Doo's existence. Ditzy let her hands open and relaxed her jaw and took a breath.

"Yeah, Buck, I can do that." Ditzy said, taking care not to grind her teeth. "Can you do something for me?"
"Anything, Ditzy. Name it." 
"Scooch over. Actually, no; just sit right there. I'm gonna nap with you." Buck looked a bit nervous, but Ditzy was beyond caring now. She laid down next to him, then slid an arm around his waist before he could move over and pressed her breasts against his side. Her leg lifted over his and locked him in place. 
"Uh...are you sure this is comfortable for you? I mean..."
"I'm tired too, Buck. And stressed. I wanna nap too, and you're comfy and warm." Ditzy said, nuzzling against Buck's chest, and she said it with the finality of a mother wishing her child goodnight at an hour past their bedtime. 
"Well sure, but I didn't think you'd be okay with somethin' like this. Its'...you know, intimate." Buck yawned. Ditzy looked up at him and smirked.
"Oh, I get it. You're comfy with me straddlin' you when you're in my oven, but if we get cozy on my bed, it's too much? You really are a strange man, Buck." Ditzy giggled. She patted his chest lightly, playfully. She watched a blush rush into Buck's face. A blush that she had caused. 
"No, no, that's not what I meant, I guess I thought that you didn't wanna, you know, touch me? I always feel like I'm kinda in the way when I'm over, like you're havin' to step around me, you know? No offense, I just didn't think you were the cuddly type, that's all I'm sayin'." Buck said. Ditzy closed her eyes and listened to his heartbeat pick up. She decided to push just a little bit more.
"So you think I'm scared to touch you?" 
"No, no! I just didn't think you'd want a man to just come in and start huggin' on you, you know? That's not really how neighbors act. I can be kinda touchy-feely, and I didn't wanna put that on you when I know you're not into the physical stuff, you know?" Buck was stammering now, and Ditzy was starting to understand why Adagio seemed to enjoy pushing him around. She had seen Buck be aggressive and flirty, and she had heard him control things in the bedroom through her wall, but this big marshmallow she was holding was completely new.
"Buck, relax. I'm not gonna bite. I'm okay with touching; because it's You. I trust you, Buck. You don't have to be scared of being yourself around me, okay? You're safe." Ditzy said, maybe more to herself than to Buck. She reached up and draped his arm around her and smiled up at him. "You see? It's okay." 
"...okay, Ditzy. I...I'm gonna have to go out for those groceries soon."
"Just...five--ten more minutes, Buck. I just wanna enjoy this with you. This is nice, isn't it?" Ditzy yawned.
"It is." There was a blessed, comfortable silence, then, but Ditzy felt compelled to break it after a couple of minutes.
"Buck...it's going to be okay."
"Huh?"
"It's going to be okay. No matter what happens, it's going to be okay, because your friends are here for you, and I'm here for you. No matter what. You're going to be okay, Buck." Ditzy said. 
She scratched gently at Buck's chest as she spoke, and she hoped it wasn't too corny, but it needed to be said. Buck needed to hear that, and Ditzy knew it. His arm slid back and he squeezed Ditzy's shoulder.
"You're really a marvel, Ditzy. I always feel so helpless around you, because you make me feel safe, and...I just wish there was something I could do to pay you back for everything you do for me. Please, if you ever need anythin', please just tell me and I'll do whatever I can. I mean it, Ditzy. Just name it." Buck said. He sounded a little choked up. Ditzy Doo's hands once again closed into fists. They shook for a moment before she caught herself. 

"Buck?"
"Yeah, Ditzy."
"...I can think of one thing." 
Ditzy slid over on top of Buck, straddling his waist. She suddenly found herself face to face with him, one hand on his chest. She rose and she slid forward and she smiled at his confusion. Buck blinked slowly as Ditzy drew close, and finally, after a million years of watching him and two years of listening to him and one naptime of clinging to him, finally, Ditzy Doo's lips found Buck's. It wasn't a sigh that came out of Ditzy as Buck's plush, thick lips came to hers. It was barely a whimper. 
Ditzy sniffled softly as she kissed him and her hand trailed up and touched his cheek and she could see the shock in his eyes disappear just as they closed. Buck's hand squeezed her shoulder, and the other touched the small of her back as she pressed into him. She had been starving for him for so long, and she wanted to stay in this moment forever. 
Buck...he was kissing her back! Ditzy Doo's arms slid around his neck and she tilted her head to kiss him deeper and sweeter. She thought he might melt beneath her, so she kissed him gently, but not chaste. No, she could feel Buck's hardness between her thighs and her own hips rocking slowly as she claimed him. It was like she had pulled him from the oven, he was so warm and sweet and tender and she pulled back for a moment to breathe and dove back into him and touched the softness of his hair and tasted the sour-sweet on his tongue and it was so right. 
Everything was right; finally.

After a blissful, wonderful few moments of loving him with all her heart, Ditzy Doo finally pulled her lips away from Buck's and looked into his eyes. His gaze sprinted through hazy affection to dread and shame and then confusion, and his eyes looked into hers, looking for an answer that was evident to the whole world. 
Ditzy Doo had kissed the man that she had been in love with for two years and a million centuries. 
Buck's lips parted, and he took a breath, and his hand shrunk away from the small of Ditzy's back, and he looked around like he was searching for the right words in the corners of the ceiling and Ditzy Doo felt a bomb go off in her head as she realized that this wasn't a fantasy. 
Ditzy Doo had actually kissed Buck, and he had kissed her back and he was starting to process this, and oh god oh god what did you do Ditzy WHAT DID YOU DO!?
Ditzy Doo shot up and away from Buck's face, and she scrambled out of his lap and covered her face and then the apologies started coming, a thousand sorrys that she had no idea how to articulate, but Buck's hand was on her wrist and it was gentle and he took her hands in his and he looked at her and there wasn't any anger. 
"Ditzy...it's okay. I...listen, this is a conversation we need to have, because...well, I didn't think you saw me like that, and that's, that's a lot to process...okay?" Buck said. He pulled Ditzy very gently down, and she sat next to him on the bed, and she was doing a very good job of not bursting into tears, but maybe that was because Buck was holding her hand now, and she was right. He had stitched his fingers in hers and his hand was so warm. "Listen...if you don't want to talk about this, that's also okay. We can...we can say this was just a lil' accident in the heat of the moment, and we don't have to--" 
Buck was cut off mid-sentence because Ditzy was kissing him again. She held onto the front of his tank top and kissed him deep and hot. This was not a mistake. It couldn't be. 
Buck pushed Ditzy back, very gently but firmly, and Ditzy could feel his hand shaking. 
"Okay, okay, okay...not a mistake. Okay, okay, I got that. Okay...wow...um... This...I'm gonna need some time on this, okay?" 
"Please don't be angry, Buck...!" Ditzy managed to squeak it out from behind her hands.
"I'm not, I'm not, I just...I just need to go and get those groceries, okay? I'll...see you at work." And then Buck was out the door, and Ditzy fell over onto the bed and curled up and wept because Ditzy knew that right now she had to leave him alone again.

Like always.





"Ice cream man, give him a hand
the greatest man in all the land!
Give him a hand, he's got scoops for hands
the ice cream scoopin' man!"
The fluorescent lights of Barnyard Bargains always hurt Scootaloo's eyes. It didn't matter too much at the moment, because she had come to a stop behind the shopping cart she was pushing and was staring in confused anxiety at Sunburst from under the shade of her hoodie. 
It was still Wednesday, around 1 pm, and Buck had invited Scoots to come and bum around the supermarket with him and Sunburst while they got their food and caught up with each other before Buck and Scoots went off to work. 
This seemed like a totally normal thing to do, but the normalcy was ghallagered across the linoleum floor as Buck picked up a tub of ice cream from the freezer section just in time to catch up with the song that Sunburst was singing. 
"Freezer box chest, fastest scoop in the west!
His ice cream is the best!
There's no contest and might I suggest
it's his ice cream to ingest!"
The two grown men did not sound especially good as they sang what sounded like an ice cream truck song from another dimension. Scoots pulled the strings in her hoodie and tried to erase herself and the blush on her face from reality as the two began to sing in unison, if not in much of a harmony.
"He's got all your favorite flavors like
Butterrumple Butter-Berry
Give me more of 
Double-Triple-Dipped Dinosaur Cherry
Wumple Dumple Happy Sprinkle Shoe Cream Pie
Platypus surpriiiiise!"
Now their arms were around each other's shoulders as Buck spun the carton of mint chocolate chip on his finger like a basketball and people were looking and oh my god you guys are in public what're you DOING!?
"Boom! Touchdown!" Buck said as he dunked the ice cream tub into the basket. "Up top!" Buck said, holding a hand up to Scoots. She was considering a daring escape plan involving the vents in the ceiling and was therefore preoccupied, and so Buck happily high-fived himself instead. 
"What is wrong with you guys?" Scoots groaned. Buck was being the opposite of how he was with Adagio and maybe fifty degrees goofier than he was at work. About maybe ten percent less silly than he was at the table, and overall things weren't looking good for Scoot's "Not being a total fucking goofus" portfolio this quarter, better to just burn the whole supermarket down and start over.
"What do you mean? It's just guys being dudes." Sunburst said it in that nerdy, analytical way that he said just about anything like he was correcting an answer on Scoot's math homework. 
"Hey, hey, you said you wanted me to teach you singin', right? Well, this's lesson one! Singin' is not something you just do on a stage in front of people. Singin' is expression; it's gotta come oozing outta your soul in the grossest way possible. Singin' can be about anything and it can happen anywhere; the self-checkout line, the bus stop, your shower, on the can, anywhere, and if you wanna get good, you first gotta get comfortable doin' it where ever ya feel like." Buck said it to Scoots, and to her dismay, the advice made a kind of sense. 
"So you just make stuff up sometimes, then? That's what singing is?" Scoots said.
"Oh, we didn't make that up. That was a real song made by real robots." Sunburst said. 
"Hon, whaddya think about chimichangas for the next game night?" Buck said, holding up a freezer-burned package.
"What? Those are gross! We should do taquitos!" Sunburst admonished. 
"You know, you could stand to learn to respect my tastes if you want this marriage to last the week!" Buck said, grinning. 
"Honestly, dear, when it comes to food, you're like a twelve year old kid!" Sunburst said, slapping at Buck's back. Buck put his hands on his chest and dropped his jaw in mock shock.
"Oh, how dare. I can't believe what I'm hearing! I'm taking the kids!" Buck said. Now he was standing behind Scoots with his hands on her shoulders. She desperately wished she hadn't come out today. It would have been better to just go straight to the kitchen and cryogenically freeze herself in the walk-in then be a part of whatever this was.
"Ugh, my mother was right about you all along!" Sunburst laughed.
"Screw you, Sunburst, I fucked your mom!"
"That's true!"
"What?" Balked Scoots.
"And I fucked your mom, so we're even!" Sunburst said, crossing his arms.
"WHAT!?" 
"'Cause I'mma mother lover-you're a mother lover, you're a mother lover, we should fuck each other's mothers!" Buck sang.
"Fuck each other's Moooooms~!" The two men sang in unison.
"What the...is this what you two are like when no one's looking!?" Scootaloo looked to Buck and Sunburst, who were now midway through a giggle fit. They looked at her at the same time, then at each other, and started to laugh harder. 
"Well, I mean, yeah, but I'm also havin' a weird mornin' so I thought I'd pay it forward." Buck shrugged. "Anyway, this's about what'cha signed up for, so no complainin' now!" Buck said. 
"No, no, I'm definitely gonna keep complaining." Scoots said. 
"So if you can't host Cartoons and Vodka, do you want to do it at my place?" Sunburst said. Scootaloo let her eyes wander through the frozen treats and wondered if she should grab some popsicles if it was going to get hotter out.
This morning she had sat in the back passenger seat of Adagio's fancy sports car with a particularly hollow look on her face. It was the look of a girl who had fallen down the rabbit hole and was surprised to find that she liked what she saw down there. Buck had quietly asked Adagio not to comment on it, and she had simply reminded Scoots to come by after work. 
"What, and try to enjoy the night with Starlight glarin' at me and Adagio the whole time? Fuck off." Buck said. "Uh, no offense."
"None taken. We've talked about it, a little bit, and Starlight did say she was going to back off some, but I get it if you don't want to hazard another round of "compliments" between her and Adagio. It's just a shame; I really liked spending Saturday nights like that. And besides, I just got a nice new loose leaf tea pot to try, so no one has to drink any more gross lipton pisswater!" Sunburst said.
"Hey, I resemble that remark! I drink that pisswater when I'm writing, and I marginally tolerate it!" Buck said, throwing one of those boxes of tea into the cart. When they'd met at the supermarket, Buck had looked lost in a sort of bewildered way, but he had brightened up when Sunburst started talking. 
"Why don't you ask Adagio, Buck? I'm sure she'd be willing to host for you, and her place is sweet!" 
"Ionno, Scoots. Somethin' tells me I'm about to be in an argument with her, and I don't wanna impose right now." Buck said. He reached his arm into the aisle and super-market swept a bunch of packages of top ramen into the cart. Scoots noticed that he wasn't making eye contact with either her or Sunburst as he did it.
"Wow, really? You guys seemed alright last night, is everything okay?" Scoots said.
"I...I'm not sure it will be. So when she shows up at work, and you know she will, please don't be all Scoots about it."
"What? What're you talking about? I'm cool, I'm super cool about this stuff!" Scoots blustered.
"You like to yell when people tell you shocking stuff, that's all I'm sayin'. It's like the opposite thing to tellin' your secrets to the hole in the ground, which I guess is like sayin' it over the intercom." Buck said.
"He's got you there, Scoots." Sunburst said. He was flicking through his phone. "Oh, well, looks like my place might be on the table after all." Sunburst said.
"How'd ya mean?"
"I just got a message from Starlight. She's saying that there's been some reports around Sugar Cube Corner, actually, and she wants to go and investigate. She likely won't be around the suite for a week. " Sunburst said.
"You tell her she better not spy on me while I'm at work! Literally nothing interesting happens there!" Buck said.
"That's not true, it's always interesting when Adagio comes in!" Scoots said, chuckling.
"No, no, it's not you guys, it's something else. Something about sightings of a weird, slender figure in Center Park."
"Spoopy. We talkin' Sirenhead or Slenderman?"
"Probably not a meme monster." Sunburst rolled his eyes.
"Okay, well, my plan is to stay out of it. It'll be nice to not have Glimglam glarin' at Adagio or badgering me, for once."
"Buck, I know that Starlight can be a little abrasive, but her heart's in the right place. She's trying to protect the city, and that means protecting all of us from supernatural threats."
"No, I get it, I really do, but what I'm saying is I don't want her to start a fight with Adagio. Starlight will lose." Buck said. It was checkout, now, and Sunburst and Buck were at opposite stations. Their backs were to each other. 
"I don't know about that, Buck. Starlight has been at this game for a while. She's a lot stronger than you think."
"Well then, Adagio will lose, and that's just as bad."
"Is it?"
"Yes! She's...she's not the monster that Starlight makes her out to be, but anyone will lash out when they're cornered. I don't wanna see it come to that. The tension is exhausting, and I'm sick of bein' caught in the middle. And then there's the part where Starlight treats me like I'm fuckin' stupid."
"She thinks you're naive, Buck, not stupid." Sunburst said. Scoots watched as the two men seemed to slow on their item scanning. She hadn't heard or noticed any of the stuff they were talking about before, nor had she heard Buck speak so seriously with Sunburst.
"Same difference. She acts like I don't know the risks like I'm not scared as hell that I'm making a mistake here.
"If you're scared, why are you still courting Adagio, Buck? If she really scares you, why don't you just run?" The two hadn't looked at each other. They were walking side by side to Sunburst's car. 
"Run? Where the fuck would I run, man? Adagio knows where I come from, and I wouldn't put Mom and Mamaw in danger. I wouldn't wanna run to my sister's place for the same reason. It's not that kinda scary, Sunburst. I don't fear for my life so much with her." Buck said. Scootaloo hadn't said a word. She was just quietly passing groceries to Buck and Sunburst. They each had a little pile of goods on either side of Sunbursts' trunk. 
"Well good, because if she threatened you, Starlight and I would deal with it." Sunburst said. There were a few clicks, and then the three of them were in the car. Sunburst didn't start the engine. "What are you scared of, Buck? You can tell me."
"I'm scared...that I'm never going to have a normal life, now. I thought I'd gotten away from magic bullshit, but then it came knockin' at my door. I'm scared that Adagio is gonna realize how little I have to offer and she's just gonna fucking kick me to the curve, and I'm also scared of the alternative; what if she wants to keep me, and then I have to keep her fed on my emotions for the rest of my life? I don't know which is worse, and that freaks me out too! And I barely even know her! When we're alone, she tends to wanna jump on my dick, and when we're together, she's fuckin' antagonizing my neighbor, or Glimglam or you know, whatever the fuck that was with Scoots, and it's exhausting! I don't think any of this is who she really is, Sunburst. I think she has a lot to unpack and I think she's hiding it all from me."
"Look who's talking." Sunburst said. Scootaloo actually shivered then. She saw Buck turn to Sunburst and there was the look of a man who had seen too much and had said too little. Buck looked so old and so tired and so, so angry and resigned at that moment, that for the duration of it, Scoots wasn't sure if the Buck she knew was even real. It was terrifying, sort of, but it was mostly just sad.
"You want to know her, don't you?" Sunburst said, finally. He hadn't looked at Buck.
"Yeah."
"And it's because you can see that she's been through quite a bit, maybe more than you; probably more than you. And you can see that she's this strange, wonderful thing that shines with this light that you can't find anywhere else in the world, and when she looks at you, nothing else matters; nothing at all. She's a mystery and she's a renaissance painting and she's powerful and she's scary and she's everything else." Sunburst said it as if reciting a poem. Scoots supposed that's just what it was. 
"...yeah, actually. How'd you know that?" Buck said. Sunburst looked at him and smiled.
"I know, because that's exactly how I feel about Starlight Glimmer." Sunburst said. "And because I know how you feel, I'm going to support you on this, even knowing that it's dangerous. Because you're my best friend, and I love you." Sunburst said. 
"I love you too, man." Buck said. The two shared a deep and meaningful bro hug.
"Do you love her, Buck?" Sunburst said.
"...Please don't ask me that, I really don't know."
"That's okay. You said she was going to tell you about her own past on your date, so you have to make sure that you provide her with a comfortable emotional space for that. She did that for you before, so you owe it to her." Sunburst said. 
"I don't think she's gonna wanna talk to me after tonight." Buck sighed. His safety belt clicked.
"Why's that?" Scoots said.
"...'cause Ditzy Doo kissed me this morning, and I'm gonna tell Adagio when I see her." Buck said.
"WHAAAAT!?" Scoots shrieked.
The engine started, and they were off.






Working at Sugar Cube Corner tonight was like dragging a cinder block on a string through an acidic bog. That is to say, a cinder block is heavy, but not the heaviest thing in the world, and an acidic bog is gross, but with the proper galoshes and a general understanding of where to step, it isn't too terribly treacherous, but doing these two things at the same time was the closest thing to a guarantee that you were going to have sore arms and the bottom of your soles dissolved by weeks' end, and to be perfectly frank, the wet socks was probably the worst part of it aside from the smell. 
The freezer was broken, just like last summer, and also like last summer, no one had caught it until there was a standing pool of water leaking into the kitchen, and that wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for the fact that the Cake family liked to use that freezer for their own groceries on the shelves just below the preserved treats, and the result is that Buck's socks were now definitely going to smell like ham and cabbage and concentrated yuck until he cleaned them or burned them in a ritual bonfire. 
He was leaning toward the latter as he finally finished push-mopping the offending puddle out the back door and realized that he didn't have a change of socks, and so the rest of his closing shift was going to be dealing with that situation on top of the one in which Ditzy refused to look at him the whole time. 
"Alright, y'all, it's finally cleaned up, and we're just about to hit pre-closin' time. You think anybody's about to come in?" Buck saw Scoots look out the door and into the night, then look back and shrug. Ditzy, who had been working the counter, seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Buck saw one of her eyes creep at him for just a second. 
"Haven't seen Adagio all day. That's pretty weird, I guess, but no, I think we're in the clear, Buck." Scoots said. Buck noted that throughout today's scheduled misery, she hadn't managed to prod either Buck or Ditzy about details from this morning, and Buck would be sure to tell Adagio not to push Scoots too hard for the remainder of her two weeks in servitude if indeed Adagio ever forgave him and also miraculously decided that she would speak to him again.
"Alright, well, I'm gonna sit down for a lil' bit, and then I'm gonna start doin' trash. Anyone opposed?" Buck said, already taking a seat at one of the metal tables. He saw Scoots shake her head, and he saw Ditzy Doo not look up as she counted the till. Ditzy's face bore the smallest, thinnest of smiles all day, and Buck wasn't sure what it meant. He hoped that she didn't think he was mad at her. Buck took his glasses off and let his eyes close for the span of a rambling internal monologue.
He had a lot on his mind; what the fuck else was new, but at the present moment, a moment that seemed to stretch on from the beginning of his shift until now, he had been thinking about that kiss and how, maybe, he'd been wanting it to happen for a while. He liked Ditzy Doo, he really did, and he had been sure that she wasn't into him like that. 
He tried to go back in time and observe clues about this kiss, this kiss that had felt and tasted like something that had been building for a while, and he started taking notes. Ditzy listened to him, and that was a miracle, but she also did him favors and let him ramble and supported him and she had been more than willing to let him cry on her. 
Every time he had gone to her for comfort, she had known what to say, and Buck had awoken many times to the smell of her charming his morning with a home-cooked breakfast. Ditzy Doo had all but taken the role of a part-time housewife in Buck's life, and now he was kicking himself for not seeing it. 
She wasn't just protecting him from Adagio; she wanted to love him. She wanted to love him, and Buck had never known, and he thought then that maybe if he'd been more open with her, maybe if he told her the things he'd gone through, maybe if he'd been bold instead of just sitting around and suffering, maybe none of this would have happened. Maybe he and Ditzy would be together, and maybe he would be Dinky's step-dad, and maybe, just maybe, he would have never met Adagio. That thought made his heart poke up at the floor of his brain's shitty studio apartment with a broom handle. It hurt badly to think like that, which is why Buck's douchebag brain usually saved those kinds of thoughts for when he was trying to get some sleep. Did he love Ditzy Doo? 
Yes. He loved that woman dearly and fiercely and he wanted nothing more than to try and make her happy, or at least content. For all the both of them had been through, when they were together, it was all fine. But was it the same loud, blazing feelings he had for Adagio? 
No. No, what Buck felt for Adagio was a searing longing that he knew was special to her. If Buck loved Ditzy Doo the way one loves a beautiful, fragile doe that they saw while hiking, standing still and hoping that they didn't frighten it into prancing back into the brush, he wanted for Adagio the way a thirteen-year-old wants for his first waifu. 
It was a messy, shameful, certain feeling that what you were reaching for wasn't real and could never love you or even know you, but Buck had reached out and Adagio was there, and she wanted him back. She might have even wanted him more than he wanted her, and that thought made Buck want to get up right now and go find her.
Buck was four hours into the stale purgatory of food service, and he still hadn't figured out just what to say to Adagio. He hadn't broken the rules, technically, but he definitely knew that he had cheated on her, and he hated himself for that. Above all, he didn't want Adagio to be angry at Ditzy, but he knew she would be, and so he resolved to be the lightning rod that would protect his neighbor from the storm of Adagio's jealous rage. He was terrified, frankly, but his father had told him ages ago that men speak after they have finished listening, and so he would tell Adagio, then listen, and then decide what to say. It was all he could do.
Buck heard a little chuckle, and when he looked up he saw that Scoots was doing a sort of awkward, peanuts-esque shuffle to the little jazzy tune that was currently crackling through the speakers of Sugar Cube Corner. Ditzy Doo had laughed, and Scoots had laughed with her.
"What? No one ever taught me to dance, either!" Scoots said. Buck was so damn glad for this tiny woman in his life. He finally had something to talk about today.
"Yeah? I could teach you, like, a little of that, I guess. You wanna learn the charleston?" Buck said, getting to his feet.
"Woah, really?" Scoots said. Immediately, her hands were balled into shaky little fists and her toes were tap-tapping on the floor.
"Yeah, totally! Check this out; step forward on your left, right? Like this." Scoots followed Buck as he stepped. "And now tap with your right, and then go back with your left and then tap with your right. Watch me; forward and a tap and a back and a tap! Forward and a tap and a back and a tap!" Buck demonstrated, snapping his fingers. He saw Ditzy look up from the till with a tilt of the head.
"Forward and a tap and a back and uh...like this?" Scoots took a few tries to catch up on the rhythm of the step, but she got it after Buck moved beside her to demonstrate.
"Yeah, yeah yeah! You got it! Okay, now, lemmie hit you with the swivel. Get the balls of your feet on the floor and do this with your heels; in and out and in and out..." Buck stood in place and bent his knees and swiveled his heels inward, moving on his toes, then back out again, back and forth. Scoots carefully, a bit clumsily mimicked the step, swiveling her heels in on time with Buck.
"Good! Now, we're gonna put them together. Now step with me! Forward and in and back and in and forward and in and wow, you got it!" Buck said. Scoots was positively beaming when Ditzy stepped to her other side.
"Actually, Buck, girls do it a little like this; Scootaloo, put your arms up? Like so..." Ditzy stood behind Scoots and lifted her arms, then back at her side, she did the step while flipping her heels up high and dainty.
"Woow, okay, okay, I got it I got it!" Scoots said. She was a natural. Scoots caught up to Ditzy's pace and the two of them laughed and pranced. 
"Hey, Ditzy! I didn't know you could dance! Okay, Scoots, another thing is the arms. You can do it with them out like that, but most folk's'll get 'em swinging from side to side or back to front, like this!" Buck did the step, his arms going left and right like an upside-down metronome, but then he switched it up and his hands were pumping back and forth. He had naturally broken into jazz hands and would have looked rather dapper several generations ago. 
"Oh, well, there's a bunch you don't know about me, Buck!" Ditzy was giggling as she danced over to Buck, and the two of them pranced back and forth, and the troubles of the day washed down like suds in a drain, and Scoot's flailing arms and all of Sugar Cube Corner went with it and it was just the two of them laughing and it was fine; everything was fine until Buck saw Ditzy Doo stop and blush and quickly run back behind the counter, the doe retreating into the woods, and he remembered where he was.
"Haha! Well, this's a start, but I don't think it's gonna be all that useful unless I find a time machine! But thanks, this's fun!" Scoots said, she was fancy dancing with great vigor now, and from what Buck saw it was like she'd been doing it her whole life.
"Yeah, yeah yeah, no sweat! There's a bunch of other little moves to the charleston o'course, but that's the main one. Man, you learn fast! I had to trip and bust my ass on the dance floor like four times before I could do it!" Buck chuckled. 
"Oh...hahah...me too..." Buck heard Ditzy say it while she tried to pretend that no one could see her blushing. 

Buck grunted as he swung the last of the garbage bags into the dumpster down the alley at the side of Sugar Cube Corner. At the very least, the cool Canterlot Nights wouldn't start letting him down until Summer's heat crept fully in. His arms were tired from mopping and brushing and charlestoning, but it was fine, the day was almost done. Wait, no, it wasn't fine. The day was almost done, and Adagio hadn't come in, which meant either work was busting her chops or she was somehow psychically pre-irate at Buck.

Buck wiped his hands on his pants and turned and Adagio was there and it was all Buck could do to cover his mouth instead of screaming bloody murder. Her eyes shone in the dark of the alleyway like a wolf's gaze in a darkened wood, and that red light was all Buck could see inside her silhouette. But then she stepped into the dingy yellow glow of the alley light and there she was. She was thirsty and she had bags under her eyes and her arms were out in a quiet, needful way.
"Buck? Please?" She hummed with a soft reverb and stepped forward, and before he even knew what he was doing, Buck had his arms around her and he lifted her up and supported her by the ass and she was squeezing him and breathing him in and her lips were next to his ear, and he could swear that her hair was floating around them and closing him in. That was the other thing, wasn't it? She needed him, and it felt so good to be wanted and needed by something so beautiful and terrible. 
The moment didn't last.
Adagio stopped her nuzzling and contended humming and let her feet drop back down to the pavement. She stepped back and Buck saw her eyes wander quickly across him, assessing the damage with a few sniffs until finally, her arms crossed and her hip cocked and her lip trembled.
"You smell like her." Adagio spat. Buck breathed deep and steadied himself. He was glad, in a way. He couldn't hide his feelings from her, and that meant honesty was the only path. 
"I was with Ditzy Doo this morning." Buck said. That wasn't the right words. He saw Adagio maintain her stance, but not her composure. Her nails dug into her crossed arms.
"Did you break our rules, Buck? Don't lie."
"I didn't. And I wouldn't." 
"Come here, Buck." 
"Adagio-"
"Come here." Adagio repeated. Her eyes blinkered red. Her smile had retreated somewhere at the trembling corner of her lip. Buck felt a bead of sweat roll down his back. Adagio seemed to taste his fear, and she blinked, and her glare softened. Her lips parted like she was going to speak, then she stepped forward. Her hands touched the brick wall of the alley behind Buck, trapping him on either side, and she leaned up and kissed him. 
Adagio's breasts were against Buck's, and her knee was between his legs, but this kiss was forceful and in no way sexual, and Buck understood immediately that she was looking for something, and his hands held her shoulders and he kissed her back, and this too felt right.

Out of the intimate space that Buck and Adagio were sharing, past the mouth of the alley and across the street, a camera shuttered. Neither heard it nor saw the shape that held the camera as it snuck off and further out of sight.

"She kissed you, didn't she?" Adagio said, finally. She hadn't let Buck go. She was still surrounding him.
"...I kissed her back. This isn't her fault." Buck said.
"And still, you're making excuses for her."
"No. I'm making sure that you know that I was wrong, too."
"But you didn't break the rules, Buck. You know my one rule, Buck." Adagio said. She was shrinking away, now. Her eyes were studying something in the dark of the alley. Buck saw her expression crumple a bit when he touched her cheek.
"And I also know enough about you now to know that this hurts."
"I am going to tear the envious little eyes right out of her skull." Adagio trembled, turning away. 
"Adagio, stop, please. We can talk this through." Buck's hand brushed her wrist.
"Don't touch me! Don't you dare touch me right now, Purple Prose!" Adagio retreated into the dark of the alley, away from the door. Her back was to him. A small, mousey part of Buck thought that he could get a head start if he started running, her hair was doing that floaty thing again, and if you just cross the street or go grab Ditzy and blow, you might live another day at least, but Buck stifled that voice and sat in the silence of Adagio's anger instead. 
"I'm sorry."
"Oh, I know you're sorry, Purple Prose. I can taste that, and all the other sad, self-defeating, petty little feelings that you're ankle deep in. I can taste that you're stressed and I can taste how badly you want to fix this, Buck, but you know what I don't taste? I don't taste anger, Buck. I don't taste consternation from you, and do you know what hurts me the most, Buck?" In the darkness, Buck could see her knees shaking. 
"What?" Adagio turned, and her hand reached out into the yellow light to point a quivering finger in Buck's face, and behind it in the darkness, Adagio's eyes weren't that burning, hungry red, they were a beautiful, tear touched magenta again.
"I don't taste regret. Not even a tiny little drop."
"...No." Buck said, and Adagio was there again, and her hands were gripping his shoulders and there were tears running down her face and her teeth had sharpened and she was choking the words out as best she could.
"Do you love her, Buck? Tell me. Tell me right now!" 
"I didn't say that, Adagio." Buck's eyes slid away.
"Do you love her!? For how long!?" 
"I don't know, Adagio, I don't know! I'm confused, I'm sorry!"
"...you're not lying. Then why? Why did you kiss her back, Buck!? WHY!?" The tears were filling her sight, now, and she blinked through them, over and over to keep focus on Buck.
"She makes me feel safe, Adagio. She's my neighbor, and when I'm with her, I'm safe, and I can be myself and...I'm not afraid. She knows me. Almost better than anybody, and I just...I needed that this week, and I'm sorry." 
"You needed that? You needed that because you're stressed..." She sniffed him again. "And you needed that because you needed a break...from me." Her forehead was against his chest, now. Her shoulders bounced with her gasping sobs. 
"It's not just you, Adagio, it's a lot of things."
"Not just me." Bucks hands were hovering around Adagio's shoulders.
"This isn't your fault."
"No, no, it is. This is my fault, because I found you, and I decided that I wanted you, and I haven't a single clue how to keep you, and so you fell into the arms of another woman, and all she had to do was kiss you."
"Adagio, stop. That's not what I'm saying."
"What do you mean you can be yourself around her? How much are you holding back? Why aren't you touching me? Why aren't you holding me right now!? I can taste how badly you want to touch me!" Adagio was moving away again.
"You told me not to!"
"You should know better than that." Buck gave a labored sigh, and when he'd halfway wrapped his arms around Adagio, she pushed him away with a hiss. "Stop! You stink of self-loathing and pity! Are you pitying me now, Buck!?" 
"No! I just want to know what you want!?" 
"I want you to stop hiding away from me! That's why this happened! You're always holding things back from me, you're always going easy, whoever you are in there is always just out of reach and I'm sick and tired of it! Show me who you are, Purple Prose!" A flash of anger. Buck could feel it knocking urgently at the back door of his heart. 
"You first! I don't even really know who you are. Everything before the battle of the bands, I don't know any of it. I told you about my childhood! That's the start of it, and it's a whole lot fucking more than you've told me!" Buck was trying hard not to yell at this woman, this incredible woman that he had wronged.
"You don't want to know me, Buck. If you come to know who I am, you'll learn to hate me." Adagio growled.  
"Try me. I'm not scared of you, Adagio."
"Yes, because you're an idiot." Adagio turned to leave the alleyway.
"Is that what I have to be?" 
"What?" She stopped. She didn't look back.
"Is that what you think I have to be to fall in love with you? An idiot?" Buck's arms were crossed. Adagio looked back at him, and then her finger was poking at his chest again.
"You know what? Yes, Buck. You would have to be an idiot. You're an idiot for coming to my bed, and you're an idiot for talking to me after I chased you around the hotel, and an idiot for taking me out on a date, and you're a fucking idiot for letting me come to your apartment after I hurt you, and a damned fool for bringing me to your game night, and you are the dumbest man in the whole world for looking at me the way you do. Only an idiot would see a glimpse of what I am and not run screaming, and here you are, Buck, here you are! You know what? I'm glad. I'm glad that I managed to stumble over a thing like you, Buck, because you know what? Without Aria and Sonata around, I didn't have anyone to get furious at! Every time, I see you, Purple Prose, it's like I'm playing a game of dragon chess with an octopus that doesn't know the rules, and is somehow still winning, and I'm tired of pretending like I don't see you fraying at the edges to accomodate me and this...this thirst, and you're an IDIOT if you think you can handle me!" The poking at Buck's chest had grown angrier and indignant, until finally, Adagio had dragged Buck's collar down to properly menace him.
"Stop yelling at me." Buck said, and Adagio let him go. 
"You're impossible." Adagio finished. She rolled her eyes, but she wouldn't look away, now. Buck shook his head.
"We're the same." 
"No, Buck, we're not. We are two completely different species."
"No, I mean we're both stubborn. You know what, Adagio? You're right about one thing; I am fucking tired. I'm tired of you trying to treat me like a sex toy, and I'm tired of you acting like you're the only one that this relationship is happening to! You want to see me, Adagio Dazzle? Fine! Purple Prose gets mad! And he gets fucking stressed, and tired and he has his fucking moods, alright!? He gets confused and he gets horny and he makes mistakes!" Adagio was backing up now, but soon Buck was leaning over her, his arm on the wall above her head.
"You wanna make this difficult!? Fine! Difficult is the only fucking way I know how to do things! You are not about to bark and sneer and run me away, Adagio Dazzle. You wanna see stubborn? You are going to tell me about yourself, and I'm going to knock your walls down and I'm gonna see you, and I'm not gonna run. I'm keeping my promise; I'm taking your pretty ass to the boardwalk and the aquarium and Scoots is gonna be there, and you're gonna tell me about it, and that's what it's gonna be, you understand? Since you're so sure that I'm too fuckin' weak for you, you're gettin' a fight."
"Same to you; Mr. 'you can't handle me in bed'." Adagio said. She was smirking, now.
"And that! I wasn't kidding. When we get back to your place, I'm going to treat you up, and you're gonna get proper love drunk, and I'm going to break you down, Adagio, because now you've pissed me off."
"Ooooh, big words for a man who has to ask to kiss me!" Adagio teased. "You think I'm scared of this little guy down here?" Her fingers traced along his crotch. 
"You look scared every time I whip it out, Princess." Buck's fingers grabbed Adagio's chin and held her wandering gaze.
"I'm not scared of you, Buck."
"Oh? Then stop fucking running from me into sex and haughtiness and whatever the fuck you've got going on with Scoots."
"She's just for fun; stop reading into it, Buck."
"Good, 'cause I'm not fuckin' sharing you, Adagio. On Saturday, I'm gonna hear your story, and then I'm gonna make you scream my name." Their noses were touching. Buck could hear Adagio sucking drool back into her mouth as she spoke. Her eyes were sharp and needy.
"Mmmm...I like it when you're mean like this, Buck."
"Yeah? Then prove it. "
"Oh, you think you're going to break me on Saturday?" 
"I know I will."
"Fine. It's war, then." Adagio said. She pushed Buck away and strutted out of the alleyway.

"...I really am sorry about this morning." Buck said. Adagio turned around then and power walked back to Buck. She glared into his eyes and grabbed him by the back of the neck and tongue kissed him like it was their first time. Buck's hands slid down to grope her ass while she explored his mouth, and it was like Buck had found an oasis with an orgy happening in the water. Everything about her felt and tasted so fucking horribly right.
Eventually, Adagio pushed Buck away with a dainty press of the fingers against his chest.
"I've already forgotten the whole thing, Buck." She said, grinning evilly. Buck watched her swiveling hips as they retreated around a corner into the night. 
'Well then. Saturday was going to be interesting', Buck thought. He had others, like 'What the fuck just happened?' and 'I should probably let myself go soft before I head back in.' and 'Fucking hell, what am I going to do with my hair for Saturday?' He didn't think of the smile that Adagio had infected him with. It was fiendish and sharp and wanting.  
Ditzy Doo saw it. From where she was watching across from the door to the alley, through the little round window, she had seen everything. She had even heard a little bit of it, and as she quickly scrambled to shutter the store windows and wipe off the countertops, she thought about the kiss that Adagio had given Buck, and she thought about how she'd ducked her head when Adagio's turned slightly to look through the window. And she thought about that smile on Buck's face.
It was mean.
Thirsty.
That smile that Buck had reminded Ditzy Doo of something truly awful, and a terrible thought hung itself up in her mind and rattled loudly in the breeze.
She wanted desperately for Buck to make that smile at her.
> ((Explicit)) Chapter 15 - Do It All the Time (I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The most difficult day of Adagio Dazzle's life was the day that Starswirl the Bearded and his so-called 'Pillars of Equestria' banished her and her sisters to this wretched world, which was a yawning chasm empty of magic and filled to the brim with barbarism. 
The most difficult day of the century was the day that the Dazzlings were soundly defeated by a loose collection of teenagers with magical powers, who by all accounts should have been squabbling and murdering each other under a hollow stage instead of rallying against them.
The most difficult day of the decade was when the Dazzlings split; not as their typical break from each other between stretches of time, but in an angry, heart-rippingly painful breakup that tore Adagio Dazzle's family apart.
No pain in Adagio's life could compare and none had before; not getting stabbed or impaled on the battlefield, not getting burned as a witch, not being made to starve in an oubliette, nothing had ever or could ever hurt her as much as those times when her very life's purpose was challenged, or when her sisters abandoned her. 
And yet, now, somehow, as Adagio prepared herself for her date, she felt that she was about to embark on the most perilous performance of her career. She had blustered to Buck in the alleyway next to his workplace, doing everything she could to stay on top of the situation and keep him from running away, but now it seemed the day's goal was the opposite.
As she carefully plaited her orange mane, lit by the morning glow of her bathroom's skylight, she went over every angle of what she wanted to accomplish today. It was a surprisingly complex performance, and though she would never admit it, she was genuinely terrified of flubbing her lines.
Buck, the wonderful idiot, had finally cracked and challenged her outright. He was tired of Adagio's misdirection and distraction, and he had boldly cut right into her, demanding that she finally tell him about herself instead of pulling him along on a string. 
This was going to be much more difficult than she thought it would be, and in retrospect, while she had no shame in her life up to a certain point, there was no way to spin herself as anything less than what she was.
Adagio Dazzle was a blackhearted scourge of Equestria, and her reign of terror alongside her sisters was the stuff of legends. How could she twist this to her own ends and not have Buck run screaming from her in the process?
The answer was that she couldn't. And so, today was going to be not simply a test of her own composure, but a test of Buck's will. She had never gone so far nor put so much effort into a man before, and she wanted to know if Buck was actually worth the trouble. 
Would he run from her after finally knowing what she was--what she is?
Or would he foolishly try to brave the force of nature that is Adagio Dazzle and allow her to dash him against the rocks on the shore?
Who was to say?  
He adored her; she knew that much, the man was absolutely crazy about her.
Or perhaps he was mad in general. A normal man would know better than to court a monster.
But then, Buck was not a normal man, was he?
And therein lay the rub; Adagio needed him even more than she simply wanted him. With Buck in her arms, she would not have to go hungry, nor be alone with herself.
With Buck, Adagio was safe and secure, and the thought that those feelings came from lusting after a human man was acid in her veins.
She hated him, and she loved everything about him, and she despised that she needed him and she was happy to want him because Buck very genuinely and very sweetly wanted to understand her, and no one understood Adagio Dazzle, not truly, not even her own sisters. 
Adagio wondered sadly if Buck would be the first man to survive more than a year with her.
A quiet, lonely, wretched little piece of foundation in her heart desperately wanted this to be the case. 
As Adagio tied her lashing french braid with a rich purple ribbon, she also wanted sweet little Scootaloo to be here with her. Scootaloo had said she would meet them at the Boardwalk after gathering her clothes and effects for the date. This was a shame because she was sure that having a willing slave lapping tenderly at her labia as she planned for the day would make everything easier. 
In Adagio's mind, Scootaloo's tongue turned to Buck's, and then his length, then his girth stretching her and his warm, firm hands and the roll of his voice in her ear and the feeling of him grunting and pounding into her and she slapped at her own cheeks. 
Buck liked to slap her other cheeks.
Another slap to the ones on her face. She needed to focus.

It was very likely that Buck would give up on her today. 
But there was also a small percentage of a percentile that Buck would hear her tale and see the wicked bitch of the deep and choose to dive into her instead of shrinking away. What a wonderful world it would be, for a simple, narrow-minded human to simply leap into her jaws instead of having to be chased. 
What was today going to be, really? 
Today was going to be a duel. 
A fight between Buck and herself and possibly the rest of the world. She was peeling off another mask in front of this poor man, and there was a monster beneath it, and he had to know that, and yet she knew he would be there waiting for her, wit at the ready, because Buck was right.
The two of them were both just as stubborn as the other. The thought plucked a cackle out of Adagio's throat.
Buck was stubborn enough to throw himself on Adagio's blade, and he would have smiled at her while he bled out and apologized for the flecks of red on her boots. He thought he was in love with her.
He was wrong.

No human could ever truly love a thing like Adagio Dazzle.

There was also another matter. His neighbor had seduced him, and Adagio was distantly upset at herself for allowing this to happen. If Buck ran from her, it was very likely that Ditzy Doo would run with him, child in tow. And then she would win. Unacceptable.
As Adagio slipped on her undergarments for the day, she realized with a startle that her hand was fondling the bridge of her collarbone. It was the spot where her precious amulet had sat.
With it, Adagio could have drunk Buck's very essence down and fed on it for centuries; his magic was that potent, but without it, all she could do was choke and try to learn to acclimate to his pressure. 
He was like an ape with a rocket launcher; that is to say, Buck was immensely powerful in a sense, and completely incognizant of it, and therefore monstrously dangerous. If Adagio didn't claim him, it was only a matter of time before someone else did, and used him to his full extent. That was another unacceptable possibility.
It was better to keep him close and placated than to let him wander. 
How's that working out for you, Sis?
It was Sonata's voice, in her head. Sonata would have laughed at her for even catching such feelings for a 'dumb boy' and Aria would have offered to hobble him so he couldn't run away. They would try to help and likely rip him apart like a rag doll in the process.
The bitterness in Adagio Dazzle was happy that her sisters couldn't see her now, working so hard to keep a man that was clearly beneath her. 
She wished he was right beneath her just this moment. Adagio wanted to be holding Buck right now, and she wanted it so badly that it stung her eyes and ached in her belly. Or perhaps she was just hungry.

In all honesty, dreading about it was pointless. Adagio Dazzle was the most talented schemer on this wretched plane, certainly, but at the end of everything else, she always had one singular plan.
She donned her battle armor for today; a saccharine, spitefully appropriate outfit that would surely tickle Buck's fancy, and she looked at herself in the mirror and checked her waistline, and raised her chin.
Adagio Dazzle would do whatever it took to stay on top, and she would look gorgeous while doing it. 
She was ready. 
She hoped that Buck was ready for her.





When Buck awoke on Saturday morning, the first thing he did was psyche himself up in the mirror. 
Well, that's not true; what Buck actually did first was what he always did when he had to get up early, which was to quietly curse every single thing about the sun and the fact that he was awake, and wonder what he had done to deserve it.
Buck had stuck his dick in an isekai villain is what he'd done, and now he was taking her out to a nice afternoon on the boardwalk, and that wasn't even the weird part.
The weird part was that he was so deeply invested in this woman, and this was technically only their third date.
His Dad would have found that hilarious. Dad would have navigated this better; he could navigate Mom without directions or a map, and that was a feat he used to perform every day, somehow. 
Buck was terrified of today, but his Dad would've known what to say to him. He imagined his father's strong, certain hands applying oil to his hair and steadily pulling at him with a detangler brush.
Buck's father had a mantra he would speak when he knew that the day would be difficult. Buck had forgotten it from time to time as he was forgetting himself under the pressures of the world, but he would always find his way back to it. 
The words were like magnetic north on a compass. 
"No matter what goes wrong, the best thing that you can choose to be is a Man, son." The words marched out of Buck's mouth line by line like a military parade.
"A man is kind." Buck combed his hair. Even strokes, straight down. No ponytail, today.
"A man listens before he speaks." Buck washed his face and shaved. No eye-boogers. No dirt. No stubble. Not today.
"A man is honest." Buck applied his foundation. Not even a single blemish. 
"A man trusts his people." Buck applied his leave-in. How many times had his mother told him to let it air dry? The air around the boardwalk would do fine, he thought.
"A man gives freely of himself." Buck put on his eye shadow. He was going to be fierce today. His sister would've been proud.
"A man laughs loud, and often." Buck put on his undershirt. It was a black tank top, his usual under armor. Tried and true; a support beam for his outfit. 
"A man stands his ground." Buck belted his pants. The belt was red. It was going to match. There was a certain word coming up, one he had been terrified to utter in relation to Adagio.
"A man loves." Buck looked around. Right. The jacket. Ditzy Doo had said she would fix the sleeve for him, and when Buck stepped into the living room, to his shock, he found it hanging on the coat rack next to the closet. The sleeve had been mended with pink string. Ditzy Doo knew that Buck liked pink. Even when things were strange between them, she was still in his corner. 
"A man believes a woman." Buck was going to see Adagio today. He knew she didn't want to show herself, but he had pushed and insisted and called her out. He was scared that she would hide from him as a cat hides under the bed when it's time for a flea bath. Buck wondered how many scratches he would get for reaching out today.
"A man is a pillar that holds up a piece of the sky." Buck would not let himself crumble. He needed to show Adagio that she could trust him and lean on him instead of hiding behind all the nastiness. He just knew that if he dug in deep, he would get to see that incredible, beautiful, vulnerable woman that had been peeking at him from just below the surf. 
He was sure that if he just stood firm and held out his arms, Adagio would come to him.  

And then maybe things would change. 

One more piece to the puzzle; Buck put on his sister's old bracers back from her punk phase. They were spiky on top and had narrow clasps on the inward side. They were both stylish and functional, and Buck was sure that his sister had used them to defend herself before. 
She'd passed them down to Buck after she'd come back, after everything that had happened, because for some reason, she had remembered that he thought they were cool. 
Buck's sister was so much stronger than him. He really should have talked to her about all of this. Putting on her bracelets made Buck feel like she was right behind him. It made him feel like he really could do this. 
As Buck stretched and did his last check in the mirror, he told himself that no matter what happened, he was going to survive, and he was going to figure it out. 
He owed it to himself and to Adagio to give it his best today. He owed it to his father, too. 
Today was going to be hard, definitely, but no matter what, Buck would do what he always did; make it through, have a laugh, and maybe, just maybe have a round of applause at the end. 
What's the worst that could happen?





Scootaloo didn't have even the foggiest idea of what in the hell was going on today, but what she did have was a pocket knife, and that meant that at the very least she could stab her problems if they got especially grody. Today was the day of a date between Adagio and Buck, and Scootaloo, after being railed by the both of them, and managed to crowbar her way into it as a third wheel. 
She never understood why people used that term as an insult. Who doesn't like a nice, sturdy tricycle? Whatever; at least the day wouldn't be boring. Adagio had been acting weird about it last night; while Scootaloo was dusting her shelves, she'd caught glimpses of Adagio reading from what she called her journals and twirling a wine glass like Dracula waiting to start a boss fight.
Her diaries were these weird, thick little books bound in something that Scootaloo didn't want to guess at, and Adagio had gone through a bunch of different emotions reading through them. That was last night.
This morning, Scootaloo had showered and shaved and actually combed her hair, which was a pretty rare thing. It's not like she didn't like combing her hair, it's just that she played this deadly game in the morning where she would groan and plant her face back into the pillow when she knew she had classes soon, and would then have to run like a magical girl with toast in her mouth to make it on time. Coincidentally, there was no time in this routine for brushing and combing; she could do that in the shower when she got back from practice.
It seemed like everyone was tense about tonight; Buck, Sunburst, Adagio, probably Starlight for some reason, and even Ditzy Doo. Ditzy had gone real quiet after Buck went out to do the trash, and that was probably because she was spying on him. Scootaloo had gone out into the parking lot just after closing a few minutes later, and Adagio had also seemed antsy.
Scootaloo didn't get it; what was the point of all this pomp and circumstance? Buck liked Adagio and Ditzy Doo liked Buck and Adagio hated Ditzy Doo, probably and they couldn't, like, snap Buck in half to share him, so why not just have a night together to settle their differences. It had worked on herself just the other night, right? 
I mean, yeah, Scootaloo was now Adagio's maid for two weeks, but the night before, she had cum her brains out the back of her head, and doing the sub servant thing with Adagio was actually really hot, so everything had worked out. Something was weird about today, though, like talking about Adagio's childhood was going to be this whole big deal, but Buck was a sweet guy, and he would listen to her, and he had a big dick. Why was Adagio so unsure about this? Why was Buck? Why was everyone in Scootaloo's life so weirdly withdrawn about this stuff, besides Sunburst, she guessed. 
Maybe she'd have to be Sunburst today like he was on game nights; she'd have to mediate and keep things fun and moving.
Whatever. Didn't matter; it was gonna be a fun day, and no matter what happened, she could take comfort in knowing that she did, in fact, have a pocket knife, and she was gonna look bomb as hell.





To Buck's genuine surprise, the forecast today was sitting at a warm 75 degrees with moderate wind. A perfect day to be wandering around on the boardwalk with the ocean breeze in your hair. Even this far north, it seemed that spring was code for summer and summer was code for fire season, but Buck didn't have time to ponder any looming environmental catastrophes. 
He instead pondered what sort of ice cream Adagio would like. Buck bet it was something textured and complicated, like a rocky road that she could chew on. He was on the far end of the Boardwalk, where the shops gave way to the massive wall belonging to the Canterlot Aquarium's big habitat tank. It was a grand mural of whales and octopuses and rays and other sea life, with a massive shutter that would be opened at set times of the day to let passersby gawk at the actual sea life inside. It was closed at the moment, which was a shame because Buck always liked to catch a peek at the octopus in the small pool. He liked octopus. Octopi? 'He liked octopi' didn't sound right in his head. Buck shook his head, trying to erase his brain fog like lines on an Etch n' Sketch. He needed to focus.
The plan for today was a little roundabout; Buck would meet Adagio and Scoots here at the aquarium, then they would walk along the boardwalk and look at all the cool carny stuff and arcades and food stalls, and they'd hit this restaurant that Buck knew on the other side for lunch. 
Buck looked out past the sea wall and saw all the folks having a good time out on the beach. Man, if things worked out, he had to get everyone out to the beach on a day in the summertime. Funny how it was called a sea wall when this wasn't the sea. It was Lake Michigan, but then, not everybody could grow up with seawater a short drive away. 
As he watched the water sparkle, Buck took a deep breath of the lakeside air, and he felt like he could actually do it today. The beach always made him feel at home, no matter where it was. 
He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of fun out in the water. No hurricanes up here, either, though there was a cyclone apparently back when Buck was a baby. Old folks around here still talked about that. Buck wondered if a cyclone was something you prepared for or ran from. Was there warning, like a hurricane, or did it sneak up like a tornado? Buck didn't know, he'd have to look it up.
When Buck opened his eyes, he saw the cyclone that had recently blown into his life standing before him. She was impossibly beautiful and dangerous, and beneath the brim of her hat, Buck saw a vicious curve of the lip. 

Adagio was wearing a wide-brimmed beach hat with a pink band that ribboned in the breeze behind her. There was a corsage of anemone flowers and hydrangeas on it, fastened by a wickedly sharp hat pin. Buck cursed himself for not being up on his flower symbolism. Beneath was a lavender-colored maxi dress, the flowery embroidered points swishing around her knees. Her waist was tied with a golden-colored belt, and a transparent white shawl was draped around her shoulders. She was wearing some surprisingly sensible dark purple shoes with yellow ribbons, and god damn it, she had on a set of striped monochrome kneesocks that teased Buck with a flash of her thighs on every step. She'd styled her hair into a gorgeous trailing french braid that fishtailed at the end behind a dark purple ribbon.
Adagio looked like a beach witch come to survey her territory after a thousand-year slumber; like she owned this fucking place and everyone ought to stop and kiss her feet as thanks. 
Buck could tell that Adagio was going to make today hard because she was making him hard and she hadn't even done anything yet. 
Buck pushed off the shutter behind him as it stirred to life. With a clinking, rattling racket, a portion of the mural lifted up to reveal a myriad of sea life inside of the tank. The water shimmered in the spring sunlight, dappling Buck with a shifting, waving dazzle.
As Adagio's head cocked in Buck's direction, the man smirked as the woman froze in place. There was shock in her eyes. Maybe it was because she didn't expect Buck to clean up nice, but he knew this expression by now. It steadied him. Adagio's pretty lashes fluttered and her lips pursed and then she quickly hid under a cocky grin. Adagio had been pleasantly surprised, and she didn't want to show it. 

Adagio didn't know what she was expecting from Buck, but it wasn't this. How in the world did this man keep surprising her?
Adagio hadn't yet seen Buck wear any shoes aside from beaten-up sneakers, yet here were a pair of shined red dress shoes with black laces, one lazily supporting Buck while the other sat up against the tank wall he was leaning against. Black jeans that hugged his clydesdale calves and suggested a certain tightness in the front just beneath a red belt. On Buck's broad shoulders was a jacket of weather-beaten red leather, the hem dangling around his midriff. Underneath was Buck's signature casual black tank top. And then there was his face. 
Buck had let his hair hang down for the first time in Adagio's recollection; a thick, plush curtain of curly mulberry waterfalls that dangled nearly to his collarbone. His shock of light blue trailed down, covering his left eye, and above his right, Adagio could see that Buck had taken care to paint a dramatic orange egyptian shadow. With that orange swish framing it, Buck's golden pupil looked like the feather of a phoenix. 
Was that intentional symbolism, like the flowers in her hat? A little arrow of intention, burning from the corner of his gaze? Adagio guessed it had to be; burn me down and I'll rise again. Can you handle my flames? Buck looked dangerous, but not as dangerous as his bracers.
They were dark purple and spiked and looked exactly like the kind of thing Adagio could find in her own accessory drawers. Another message. Buck had gone ahead and shackled himself for Adagio, but those bracelets looked plush and comfortable and mean. They suited her better than they suited him, and of course, it made sense, because who else would be hanging off his arm today? Buck's sharp grin told Adagio everything she needed to know. 
Buck looked like something dastardly and man-shaped that had strolled right through the gates of Tartarus while no one was looking. He was vicious and soft and blazingly tempting. It seemed that if Adagio wasn't careful, Buck would take her by the hand and drag her, giggling and cooing, straight back down into the underworld and she would close the gates behind them without even needing to be asked. 
This was a show of force.
Adagio was not so foolish as to underestimate this man, but she would also not be daunted by petty threats. She maintained eye contact as she approached him, hands behind her back. She watched his eyes trail all over her form and saw his grin grow more vicious by the second before she took the initiative and touched his chin with her fingertips. They trailed up and slid through his hair. It was monstrously, horribly soft. She grinned in Buck's face and delivered the first blow, touching his cheek.
"My...what a handsome seat. Is it taken~?" Adagio felt the heat wash through Buck. His devious smirk broke into a wide, bashful chuckle. He took Adagio's hand, kissed the knuckles, and then refused to let go. 
"That's it. That's gotta be the strongest pick up line you've thrown at me. You been savin' that one?" Buck laughed. He didn't look away. He hadn't even stopped leaning on the wall.
"Yes. I like to keep it in reserve for when I want to smudge a boy's makeup with my thighs, Buck. You look positively ravaging."
"Uh, d'ya mean 'ravishing'?" 
"Did I stutter?" Adagio tried to pull her hand away from Buck, but he held it gently and firmly. Embers were falling into Adagio right off the bat. Her other hand rose and touched his chest. 
"Mm, compliments. I'm not used to that from you. Are you trying to distract me?" Buck said. 
"Whatever do you mean, Buck? Distract you from what?" His heartbeat was slow and his breathing was even. He wasn't even shaken!
"From the obvious thought, o'course."
"Oh? And what's so obvious to you?" Buck let her hand go, and a fragment of her mind told Adagio to run, run now before it's too late. Buck's hands slid to her cheeks, and he leaned down under the shade of her hat's brim. 	
"It's obvious that you dressed absolutely fuckin' incredible for me, and I'm not sure if I can wait until we get you home to spoil you properly." It was sweet and honest, and Adagio could feel her heart flutter when Buck slowly kissed the tip of her nose. The flame of Buck's lust was a tiny pilot light, but his love was a fuel that made it blast into Adagio like a backdraft.
Adagio had to grab Buck's shoulders to hold herself up. 
"Woah...um, did you know that your eyes could glow pink? I've never seen that before..." Buck said it with disgusting concern. 
"You...! You're seeing things, Buck!" Adagio turned away in defeat. Buck's hand caught hers again, just her ring and pinky fingers in his. She tasted his disgusting exuberance; like he'd just unwrapped a surprise gift.
"There were hearts in there." Buck said. A flat statement of fact. That didn't make sense to Adagio. It couldn't be true, but he tasted of truth and her heart was trying to break out of her rib cage with a sledgehammer and perhaps it was just a bit too hot out here? 
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Buck." Adagio said. The gulls on the lake seemed to be laughing right on the edge of her execution ground. 
"You always say that." Buck said. He was off the wall, his lips by Adagio's ear. His arm around her waist. "I noticed, you say that whenever you get flustered. It's fuckin' adorable." Buck murmured.  How could he do this to her? Adagio had come in with a powerful opening move, and Buck had effortlessly parried and thrown her to the floor. Now his fingers were sneaking between hers and he tasted like an ocean of caramelizing sugar. His smooth cheek nuzzled against hers. 
"I am not flustered by you, Purple Prose." The icy venom in her veins melted under the searing heat of Buck's affectionate chuckle. 
"If you insist. Hey, I wanna ask you somethin'..." Adagio reached out to keep her hat from falling off as Buck turned her chin toward him. Under the tiny bit of shade, she could see the pink glow bouncing off Buck's gold eyes. The imploring, open curve of her bottom lip. The burning blood in her cheeks. No. Please, no. Not already. We've just started, Adagio thought as Buck smiled down through her.
"What?" Don't. This isn't fair! Adagio's soul screamed as Buck's heat surrounded her. If he did this now, his love would char her bones into black ash.
"Can I kiss you?" Adagio's lips were already puckered. Her eyelids were falling. She was falling. 

"Hey guys! There you are!"  As Buck pulled away to wave Scootaloo over, Adagio thanked the gods and their capricious little mercies for saving her. The short orange sprinter came running up to them in a tight black sleeveless crop top with a matching pair of running shorts, crocs on her feet, and a blue transparent visor over her eyes.  
"Hey hey, Scoots! You're lookin' butch!" Buck smiled. Scootaloo gladly accepted the high five he offered. 
"Yeah, and you look like some kinda project runway finalist! What the hell happened?" Scootaloo laughed.
"How dare. Buck looks absolutely delicious!" Finally, an excuse to get irate. Adagio would have to reward Scootaloo for this later on. She had saved her again.
"Nah babe, I think that was supposed to be a compliment?"
"Eh, column A, column B." Scoots waggled her hand. 
"Nice. Well, uh, we've got a whole boardwalk to check out before we go into the Aquarium. I just wanted us to meet here so y'all know the buildin'. That way if we get separated or split into groups, we can meet up here around 3ish."
"Oh, we're not splitting up, Buck." Adagio said, crossing her arms.
"No, I mean, like spatially."
"Like I said. We won't be splitting up."
"Uh-" Scoots started.
"Because you won't be able to keep your eyes off me." Adagio said, summoning her best demonic grin.  Buck gave that horribly genuine smile in return, then squeezed Adagio's fingers in his.
"Why limit it to just my eyes, Princess?" Buck growled. The bastard was good at this! She wasn't going to rattle him with flirtation alone. Good. No, this is good. Today is a test of his will, after all, and so far, he's passing fine at the art of the verbal skirmish. Let's test his range, shall we?
"Oh, gag! Are you guys gonna be like this all day?" Scoots said, sticking out her tongue.
"Well, yeah. This's a date, Scoots, and look who I'm with! Any man'd shower her with praise, and I got a pretty big-ass tank for that." Buck shrugged. "You're also lookin' good, if I wasn't bein' clear before." 
"Hey, thanks! What're we gonna do first?" Scoots said.
"Well, the big deal today is Adagio telling her story, so mainly, my plan is to listen. We'll take breaks when she wants. Sound good, babe?"
Adagio, who had lowered her head to conceal her blush, simply nodded.
"Well, you guys can have fun with that, I think I'm gonna be, like, around, you know?"
"Gonna wander some before we do lunch?"
"Yeah...long stories tend to get me all 'dozey' you know? No offense. You okay, Adagio?" Scoots stepped forward to look up at Adagio's face, but Adagio refused to be seen like this. Damn him. Damn him for making her feel this way! 
"It's a bit warm. Could we find a shady bench to sit on?" Adagio said, quietly. 
"Yeah, that's a good plan. Anyone up for ice cream?"
"Ooh! I'll get it!" Scoots said and immediately started jogging away. She doubled back around, running in place. "Uh...does anybody have cash? I think the stand is cash only."
"Here. We'll be right over there." Adagio handed Scootaloo a twenty-dollar bill, then gestured at a shade cooled bench overlooking the beach.
"Get me a mint chocolate chip, yeah? Tell them no nuts; that stand goes a little crazy on the nuts." Buck said.
"Sure! What about you, Adagio?" 
"...I'll have a rocky road, thank you." 
"Hah!" Buck tossed his head back and let fly a cackle.
"What's so funny?" Scoots said, looking back.
"Ah, nothin'." 
As Adagio led Buck by the hand to the bench, neither they nor Scootaloo noticed a slight rippling through the water behind them, nor the bizarre sight of one of the rocks in the tank suddenly shattering apart as if hit by a slow-moving explosion. 





Starlight Glimmer slurped her coffee with all the grace of a med student cramming for mid-terms. Sunburst, without saying a word, reached out and dabbed at the corner of her mouth with a napkin.
"And you're sure you're up to this?" Sunburst said. He was wide awake, wearing a pair of sunshades and loose-fitting sleeveless sort of scruffy thing that said 'Jersey Devils' on it. 
"I'm fine. I didn't stay up that late, stop worrying." Starlight snapped. Starlight Glimmer was somehow able to be cold during a warm spring day at the boardwalk, and therefore was wearing a nondescript blue hoodie and a pair of grey jean shorts. She was blinking slowly through a pair of binoculars, observing Buck and Adagio from down the boardwalk at a nice little cafe.
"How late is 'not that late', Starlight?" 
"About three in the morning." Starlight yawned. As she squinted at Buck and Adagio, she could tell there was some tension. Adagio was staring at the ground like Buck had said something unexpectedly mean, and Buck was just sort of looking straight ahead. Then he pointed at something, and Adagio sat up at attention.
"You still haven't told me what you found out there, or why it's so important you follow them today. You do realize that spying on people isn't okay? We've talked about this?" Sunburst said, between sips of a smoothie.
"Adagio doesn't count as people, first of all. Second, it's important for a number of reasons, but they sort of tie into what I looked at last night. Do you want the cliffnotes?"
"Sure. What were you looking for, last night?" 
"Mothman." Starlight said with absolute seriousness. Sunburst coughed into his straw, which stabbed at the roof of his mouth, seemingly taking offense.
"What!?"
"Well, probably not Mothman, but that's what people online are saying it is. I'm not convinced."
"What do you think it is?"
"Testimonials say that some kind of creepy, somewhat humanoid thing crawled out of a sinkhole across from Sugar Cube Corner. No one got a good look at it, but there was a polaroid photo that someone recovered." Starlight pulled out her phone without lowering her binoculars, then tapped it a couple of times. 
"Wow...that's...that's pretty compelling." Sunburst said. What he was looking at was a blurry jpeg of a dark, emaciated figure. It had glowing eyes and a thin neck, but because of the distance from the camera, the top of its head and below its arms weren't visible. It didn't actually look like it had arms, it looked like it had a spindly limb inside of a very large wing of some sort. It was hard to tell. 
"A person claiming to be an eye witness said that this thing swooped up a college kid, then flew off into the night without even making a sound. Freaky stuff. But that's not what's weird about this."
"How is that not weird!?"
"What's weird is what was at the scene. If there's another monster loose in Canterlot, it's my job to track it down. Except there were no tracks, I guess because they were on the sidewalk when it happened, and using a sensing talisman gave me a signature I didn't exactly recognize, but it led me back to the sinkhole. What do you think I found in there, Sunburst?"
"I don't know. What was down there?"
"Equestrian magic. A big reading of depleted equestrian magic was down in that hole. It was like...like that metallic oxygen smell that comes after a lightning bolt hits. So here's my theory; this thing came from equestria, because a rift to equestria opened in that sink hole. And do you want to know something else? I know what caused it."
"Oh, well that's good news!"
"It's not. It's really, really not." Starlight shook her head and raised the binoculars once more. It looked like Buck and Adagio were having some sort of disagreement. What were they arguing about?





"Look, you don't have to get all up in arms about it!" Buck said. His hands were up in defense.
"What exactly are you trying to say, Buck?" Adagio hissed. 
"I'm sayin' that poofy sleeves are god damn atrocious on anythin' other than like a princess gown, and even that, I think is pushin' it. No swimsuit should have built in floaties!" Buck said.
"You have absolutely no taste, Buck." 
"Oh yeah? Is that why I'm out here sittin' next to your pretty ass?" Buck spat. Adagio blinked as if she'd just been slapped in the face with a trout. That question tasted like fresh lemonade; the way Buck had tasted for most of game night.
"What did you just say to me?"
"Oh nothin'. Just provin' a point." Buck was reclining on the bench with his arm back behind Adagio's shoulders. He had one leg over the other.	
"Fine then. Prove your point; how do you feel about the shoes on that one?" Adagio pointed to a lovely couple of girls who were strolling arm and arm down the walk. 
"Which one?" Buck said, squinting.
"The one with the minty skin. Cyan and white hair."
"Next to the blue and pink haired one?"
"Yes, Buck. It's nice to find out you're not entirely blind, just a bit tasteless."
"Oh please. Who in the hell wears kitten heeled pumps to the boardwalk!?"
"Someone with a modicum of style, perhaps?" 
"Fuck off."
"And what would you know?"
"'bout fashion? I know enough. Enough to guess that the tags of them shoes prolly say 'tacky' instead'a 'gucci'."
"Oh, you sassy bitch. Honestly, you're one to talk! Who wears a black tank top in spring?" Adagio smirked.
"Black's always in season, 'dagio." Buck growled.
"Certainly, but I think you might want to take a leaf out of little Scootaloo's book and attempt a crop top." Adagio baited.
"You really think I could pull that off?" Buck bit.
"No, but it would be fun to watch you try. And fail." Adagio patted Buck's knee in a manner she hoped came off as patronizing as possible. This was much more manageable. Buck made her burn up like dry kindling when he was romantic, but sassy Buck was something that Adagio could understand.
"Oh wow, that's rich, comin' from you."
"Pardon?"
"It's just I've only ever seen you try and fail at one pattern, but you do it almost every Saturday. Tell me, what the fuck is your deal with leopard print tights?" Buck jabbed.
"They're meant to look fierce, Buck." Her hand returned to her lap, curling into a fist. 
"Naw, my eyeshadow is fierce. Them kneesocks you're wearin'? Fierce. Leopard print was fierce when people saw them in pornos back in the 80's, and barely even then." Buck chuckled. His scorn was sharp and sour and delectable.
"Who do you think you are, giving me fashion advice? If I let you dress me, I'd look disgusting!"
"At least then, your outfit'd match your personality." Buck said. Adagio's head snapped over the glare at him.
"Fuck. You." It came out like the warning of a rattlesnake.
"Well, fuck you too!" Buck turned to Adagio and leaned forward.
"Fuck you, Buck!" Adagio's teeth were showing sharp, but Buck wouldn't back down, despite the dare in her eyes.
"Fuck you!"





"Now they're yelling at each other. Wow. People are looking. Guys, you're in public." Starlight said, below her binoculars. Sunburst was leaning over the table, head in his hands. He was trying to process what Starlight had told him about his best friend a sentence ago.





"FUCK YOU!" Adagio screeched. She was in Buck's face, now. She was smiling viciously.
"No, FUCK YOU!" Buck yelled. Adagio's sight was filled with his blazing gold eyes.
"Fuck you."
"Fuck. You." Buck hissed.
"Fuck you..." Adagio smirked. Her hand had found Buck's chest.
"Fuck you." Their foreheads touched.
"...fuck you~" She purred, pulling at his collar.
"fuck..." Buck's insult petered off as his lips found Adagio's. And then her tongue. He reached down and stitched his fingers in hers as she kissed him greedily and furiously,
"ICE CREAM!!!" A suddenly arriving Scootaloo snapped Buck and Adagio away from each other. She had a little travel tray of ice cream cups.





"You have got to be kidding me." Starlight groaned.
Sunburst stood and made to stride in Buck's direction. Starlight couldn't tell if he was angry or just determined, but she caught him by the wrist. 
"I'm going to tell him."
"No! Not now! Not when she's there!"
"Why not!?"
"Sunburst, think. It all makes sense, doesn't it? Adagio isn't after Buck for his looks or his dick and definitely not his smarts. She's after his magic! That's why she's been chasing him so hard! But Buck obviously doesn't know that!"
"Which is why we should tell him."
"No, Sunburst. Sit down. Hear me out." Starlight let go of him and patted the seat. Begrudgingly, after a glance over his shoulder at Buck and Adagio, he sat. "Adagio has been drinking Buck, but she's leaking magic. She can't keep his magic inside her, so she's been tapping him over and over again. Not enough to drain him completely, but not too little that she starves. Why is that, Sunburst?"
"...it's because she can't contain all of his magic."
"Yes! She can't drain him all the way, so she's chosen to groom him instead. She's been leading him around, petting him up and keeping him interested in her, all the while, trying to worm her way into his life, because he's probably the best food source she could find in Canterlot! So what do you think will happen when Buck finds out that she's only after him for his magic?"
"...he'll be heartbroken."
"Yes. And what else?"
"He'll leave her."
"Right. And if that happens, Adagio will have lost her meal ticket permanently, and all thanks to us. Now, she may not be able to keep all of Buck's magic in at once..."
"...but she can hold enough to be a huge threat to us or anyone."
"Exactly. Now listen, Sunburst. I love you. And because I love you, I want to support you in caring for Buck. He's not a bad guy, and he deserves better than this. We both agree on that, right?"
"He's...yes. He's my best friend, Starlight."
"I know. So we have to play this careful and cool. The only way we're going to finish this is to weaken Adagio enough that Buck can get away safely, okay?"
"But wait, hold on. Adagio wouldn't attack Buck just because he broke up with her!" Sunburst said. Starlight raised an eyebrow at him. "Okay, fair, but when do we tell him? If he's so full of magic that he can open rifts to equestria, he needs to know, otherwise everyone around him is in danger!"
"We'll have to get him somewhere safe, protected from Adagio, so we can teach him about magic proper. Then we can figure out how to suppress his magic reserves to a safer level. Think about what he could do with all that power, Sunburst. Buck's a good guy, right?"
"Of course!"
"Well, imagine if he was on our side, as Canterlot's protector. Monsters like Adagio would never even try to come near us!" Starlight said. For the first time in a long time, Sunburst saw her smile.
"That's...let's just focus on watching out for him."
"Why do you think I brought the binoculars?" Starlight looked through them just in time to see Adagio's glare snap over in her direction.





"Babe, it's alright. I don't wanna make a whole thing outta this. It's not a big deal."
"Nonsense! They wronged you! They didn't listen, and they're ruining our date."
"I dunno, Adagio. I think he's right; you're overreacting." 
"No, I'm setting the record straight. They're not going to get away with this!"
"Adagio, chill out, they mean well-"
"EXCUSE ME!? He very specifically sent an order that asked for No Nuts on his ice cream! He would like another, this time made correctly, thank you!" 
Adagio said it in her best impression of the royal canterlot voice. The nondescript individual behind the register at the ice cream stand nodded frantically and put together another cup, this time with two scoops for the trouble. Buck, who was covering his face with one hand, and being dragged along by Adagio's death grip in the other, just shook his head.
"Sorry, Norman." He said, taking the cup from the man's shaking hand. Scootaloo snickered as the trio walked back to the bench. 
"See, I thought you were just gonna bitch at Me today. You didn't have to do my mans like that, 'dagio."  Buck said. He was licking at his mint chocolate chip ice cream in a measured if undignified way. 
"Hmph. You deserve to be treated with respect, Buck. You had better start demanding proper treatment if you want me to let you keep hanging around." Adagio was scooping daintily at her rocky road with a little plastic spoon.
"Oh yeah? Is that what you've been showin' me? Respect?"
"I'm showing you who I am, Buck. That's what you asked of me, isn't it?"
"Fair enough. So is it storytime, then?" 
"Hold my visor. And, uh, my phone. And my wallet!" Scootaloo said, having just finished inhaling her tutti frutti.
"Where're you goin?" Buck said. Adagio took the things that Scoots had dropped into Buck's lap and placed them in her purse.
"I'm gonna go jump in the lake!" She was already a few yards away. 
"...does she know that water's colder'n a witches tit?" Buck said, looking at Adagio. She grinned as he heard a distant splash, then a sound like a cat being thrown in an ice bath. 
"She does, now." It was funny, how nostalgia can creep up on a person, Adagio thought. The day was feeling terribly familiar; traveling around with a brash idiot on one side and a jocular idiot on the other. This was the right feeling for talking about her past. It would help her to stay in the tale. Adagio flipped open a little notebook from her purse.
"You took notes? Oh, wow." Buck mused. Adagio unscrewed the lid of a vial of some strange pink-orange liquid, sprinkled a bit on her wrist, then put it away. Her downcast eyes slid over to Buck.
"Being long lived...has a deleterious effect on the memory. You can't fit everything you've ever experienced in your head, not even when you're a short-spanned wretch, like humans are."
"Rude."
"Hush. It's considered a point of honor not to meddle with the diaries of magical creatures, because they contain their lives, even when their minds fail to do the same. If I'm to tell you my story from the start, I'll need to go there, first. We all have our little ways of triggering memories. This is mine." Buck sniffed at the wrist that Adagio proffered, then gagged and turned his head away, earning a giggle from her.
"What is that stuff!?" Buck wheezed.
"Oh, a few things. Seaweed essence, ocean salt, ambergris. Nostalgic scents."
"Please don't ever wear that around me. I feel like you just singed off some'a my nose hairs!" 
"As I said; no taste."
"What, no taste for whale vomit!? Yeah, naw, you can miss me with that." Buck said.
"Are you going to let me finish?"
"I thought you were getting started." 
"Stop talking, Buck. It makes you sound stupid. May I continue?" Adagio said, smiling sweetly. Buck's eyes narrowed in a fashion that indicated he would remember that crack and likely pay it forward in the near future. Adagio ignored his scent and took a deep sniff of the perfume. She closed her eyes. 
She remembered.





The scents contained in the perfume were a deliberate choice. They smelled both of the shallows and of the deep, for it is to both worlds that Adagio was born. In that hazy, misty-eyed place between stories and dreams, Adagio remembered her very first moments. 
The world was pain, and salt and heat and cold, all wrapped into one. The world was the screaming despair of an infant with no mother to lift her. 
The world was others, it was shouted commands and wide-eyed shocks. It was nets and ropes, and the pulling of sure fins and gentle murmurs.
The world was the foam of the surface, the thrashing of the weak, and the feeling of water flowing through gills. 
The world above was filled with stark, blinding light, and as the newborn was saved from a miserable existence in captivity, she looked up and saw the brutality of the surface dancing away as she was taken down down down into the cold, safe embrace of Home.
The earliest memories of a child are always the most ethereal of all life experience. Adagio found this funny, considering how foundational they were. In retrospect, one can take lessons from earlier times, but what of infanthood? What possible advantage could be gained from staring back into the unsteady wiggling that came with first learning to swim, or the sounds of the village singing, or the ache of an unknown parent?
What Adagio remembered most clearly was this; it had been the one overseeing the nursery who had answered her first and most pressing question. 
Adagio's mother had broken the rules.
Hippocampus, the masters of the deep, neither pony nor seahorse but something in between were known to wander beneath the waves and the bravest of them in ages long past wandered atop them, but in Adagio's time, the Kingdom of Seaquestria was but the daydream of a later ruler. In her days, in the nameless nation of the Hippocampus, her people had no borders save for the one above. Beyond the shimmering surface was a world of barbarism, hatred, and foul magics. It was a world of monstrous aberrations, a choking, breathless realm with a sort of infectious heat known as Flame that would obliterate all in its path to sate its hunger.
Her motives could only ever be guessed at, but in her darker moments, the little fry that would become Adagio Dazzle had to assume that her mother wanted to try raising her daughter in the shallows so that she might taste the wonders of either side of the surf. But something had happened, no one knew what, and when the lonely yellow hippocampus arrived screaming and singing into the world, her mother had already departed to the next. 
In theory, this mattered little. After all, hippocampus have no name save for the one they are given by the regent when they came of age, and no families save for the village as a whole. Those without mothers and fathers were in good company, or so the little fry was told. 
Learning the rules was difficult for the little yellow fry. It was all so overwhelming for her. The power of the hippocampus comes from their voice, and so all little frys are taught first to sing their emotions. There was a song for 'Food' and a song for 'Frustration' and a song for 'Lost' and every other feeling, and it was known that should a little fry sing loud enough, there would surely be another hippocampus to hear them and fly to their aid, for that was their way. 
The first song that the little yellow fry ever sang was the song of 'Fear', and in the days that followed, that same song would in turn follow her every move. 
The little yellow fry didn't have much in the way of voice; for those lacking in magical power would always be deficient in the art of Song, but it seemed she gained a keen awareness in exchange. She could sense the songs of others before they were ever sung, and hear them from leagues away, and taste even the best-concealed intentions. The other young frys could never sneak up on her for tag, nor escape her at hide and seek, for the excitement in their hearts was like a drumbeat that led the yellow fry straight to them. In time, their bemusement turned to fear, and then to a cold, distant hatred, for even though the little yellow fry's song was faint, she was far too aware and far too clever to be bested in any other category.
It didn't matter. She didn't need them, and she didn't need a powerful song, either. She was content to wander and discover without the whistling and caterwauling of others to slow her down. Even the adults feared her, and it wasn't long before the intoxicating taste of fear became too much for the gifted fry, who would retreat from the bustle to find a darker corner of Home. There, she could find peace.
Or so she thought. 
It is a fact commonly known but rarely articulated that when an introverted individual seeks solitude, there will inevitably be an extrovert or two that will grab them by the ankle and drag them screaming into a social situation, all while asking why the introvert is so quiet so often. 
This disturbance came in the form of a bubbly, bumbling blue idiot of a fry, Her song was joyous and warbling and high and irritating. The bumbling blue fry had apparently seen the clever yellow fry slink away after lessons, and decided that the best course of action would be to assert herself by swimming in circles and singing a tune that Adagio would later compare to a mockingbird with the runs. It was adorable underneath how profoundly annoying it was, but no matter how far the little yellow fry swam into the darkness, the whistling of the bumbling blue fry would follow. 
The clever yellow fry would first try evasion, then stealth then traps to get the bumbling blue one off her trail, but the blue one simply couldn't take a hint, and eventually, the clever yellow fry accepted that the blue one would stick to her like coral on a rock despite her protests. Strangest of all was that the blue one never feared her, not even once. Instead, the bumbling blue fry was nothing but amusement and curiosity, back and forth. The yellow one's leering was a source of endless amusement for her. 
A day came wherein the duo were following a swarm of jellyfish that the clever yellow fry sensed a quivering, irritating presence following her. She knew not to what creature it belonged, but it was intelligent enough to radiate fear and envy, yet foolish enough to tail the clever yellow fry. A whispered song between yellow and blue, a clever trap, and suddenly between them was a purple fry that did naught but scream in absolute terror until a swift slap from blue's curly tail turned her fear into fury. 
The fight was infantile and cruel in the way that only fights between children can be, and the clever yellow fry watched it go from annoying to funny to sad to annoying again. Once she grew bored of this bickering, yellow swam between the two ingrates and sang them a song of Calm that quelled their anger. Well, blue calmed and then embraced the other two, while purple simply grumbled. 
It was the first time the clever yellow fry had been embraced by fellow children. She didn't know how to feel. It was overwhelming and so desperately welcome, she wondered how she managed to go so long without it, but then it all went wrong.
The fighting and singing had roused some antediluvian hunger of the deep, and the embrace of the three hippocampus grew far too tight in an instant. A suckering, biting tendril wrapped around the three of them, and as it dragged them down, the clever yellow fry could see rings of fangs gnashing and burbling below. 
It is said that in desperate times, one's true nature is revealed. Adagio never believed that. Desperate times force a decision, and how one reacts may seem prescient, but all it truly reveals is their level of preparation. 
The clever yellow fry, constricted against her fellows, was indeed prepared. The blue one wept and the purple one thrashed, but the yellow one knew what to do. She sang.
She knew that her song would not carry far, but she also knew that she was beside two others with voices that would, and so she chose a song that called for desperate aid, and the other two joined her. 
It seemed that all was lost, but then a distant voice answered in harmony. Then another, and another, until a chorus of magical power surrounded the three frys. The beast buckled under the voice of the village, laughing and howling back to the crushing depths from which it crawled, and suddenly the three frys were home once again. 
The blue one cheered and the purple one pouted, but the clever yellow fry's magenta eyes wandered slowly into the distance, considering what had just happened. She learned a valuable lesson that day.





"Oh, I get it. This is the part where you say that you learned about leaning on your community and the value of friendship and all that good stuff!" Buck had finished his ice cream. Adagio sat up from her leaning position at Buck's shoulder and squinted at him. "That...uh, that is what you were gonna say, right?"
"Oh, heavens, no! What I learned that day is that while one may be deficient in personal power or magic, there is always magic to be found between people. If I could learn to harness it, I would finally have the power I was lacking! That's the lesson." Adagio said. Buck tilted his head and seemed to ponder this. 
"...isn't that the same thing, just meaner?"
"It's entirely different, Buck, as you'll soon see."
"Eh, you say tomato, I say potato." Buck shrugged.
"I'm going to continue now."





The Hippocampus had no song for the concept of time. Without the shifting light of the sun or even the swaying of the tides, the only way to tell that time was truly passing was to look upon the forms of your neighbors. The three frys grew to the vibrant edge of adulthood and showed greater promise together than any singular hippocampus could claim. 
The fear surrounding the clever yellow one only grew with her, but all whispered songs ceased at the sneering of the purple one, and all envious eyes trailed away at the cajoling of the blue one. Yellow would never be lonely again, and that was almost a suitable payment for the headaches that she gained from having to look after her clingy companions.

The day finally came that all young frys fear and look forward to. When a hippocampus came of age, it was their duty to report to the acting regent and show their worth to the village. They would have to present an original composition and display their magical aptitude, and they would then be given names and a role to perform, They could even ask a boon of the regent if their performance happened to merit it. 
The song of fear tapped a staccato rhythm in the yellow ones' heart. She knew that each member of the trio would be judged individually, and without harmonizing with the other two, her own song would be woefully deficient.
The blue one took the stage, and her natural soprano spoke for itself. The bubbles around her sparkled and shimmered as she sang, then deepened into a dark, yawning beauty that seemed to silence the world. Her song carried across the reaches of home, and hippocampus all around were enchanted into a stampede of cheers and adulation. 
The purple one fared far worse, at first. She first tried a song like the blue one, but her voice cracked as it tried to rise. In frustration, she screamed a furious chorus that earned fear from the audience and respect from the queen. Her howling was answered by the booming of ancient vents, which spat jets of steaming hot bubbles up toward the surface. 
The yellow one was at a loss. All alone, she could do nothing but pose and gesture and whisper. After the youngest frys in the audience began to laugh, the sitting regent raised a fin. The clever yellow one could sense the fear and scorn from her village slowly boil into silent mockery and disdain. She was worthless to them, undeserving of even a name. 
The queen put her fins together, and a glowing bubble of force inflated into being. The queen waved the bubble at the clever yellow one, and as it broke against her, she felt but a fraction of the regent's power. It was filled with compassion and care and pride. And pity. The queen bade the yellow one to sing.
Now lacking in any restraint, the gifted yellow hippocampus belted out a rhapsody more beautiful than any heard before or since beneath the waves. The water around her coiled and danced and spun into the shapes of all the wondrous things she had observed in the dark; a dazzling display of light and sound. Here was a pod of whales and there a garden of coral springing up and here the dance of mating mandarin fish and there the elegant sweeping flight of a manta ray. It was slow and swaying and gorgeously sad. The brilliant yellow hippocampus shone in the light of her creation, unparalleled by any around her, and for the first time, she sensed the wonder and adulation of her village. For one splintering second, she knew her villages' warmth, but as they applauded her, she tasted their enthusiasm sour into bitter jealousy, and once again fear. 
Worse yet, the brilliant yellow one had needed charity from the highest power in the ocean just to compete. She was mortified, but that would not stop her from claiming the prize she knew she had earned.
The queen rose. The sea quieted.
"For the darkly beautiful melody you have presented to us this day, I name thee Sonata Dusk." The sea cheered and the blue one bowed her head in sheer reverence, perhaps for the last time in her life. 
"For the gorgeous, glowing fury you have displayed, I name thee Aria Blaze." The purple one would never, not in thousands of years admit it, but her eyes welled up that day, the tears bubbling up and off to break at the surface.
"And for you. You have shown an aptitude unlike any before witnessed. The glorious, waltzing gift you have given us today is nothing short of dazzling. Therefore, I name thee Adagio Dazzle for your grand achievement. Speak your boons, and I shall bend all powers to realize them!" 
"Your majesty, there is but one wish in my heart. I want to travel to the surface world, just like my mother before me." A trembling gasp ripped through the village. What she spoke of was forbidden. She was an apostate, born to curse their village! And aberration! The queen's glare demanded a silence that fell instantly.
"Dear child, know ye not the perils of that dastardly plane? There is naught but rampaging griffons, flame belching dragons, mountain shaking yaks, and worst of all, ponies up on the surface. It is a nightmare realm of cold unfeeling light! What could possibly compel you to seek it out?"
"Curiosity, my liege. For what is a hippocampus if not curious?" 
"If you go there you can never return. You will be cursed as a blasphemer like your mother before, and you may be struck down the moment you breach the waves. I beg of you, is this truly the fate you desire?"
"I am stronger than my mother.
"You don't know that, child."
"I will find out. The village already despises me; there is nothing for me here but petty envy and fear. I should choose damnation if only to end their fool whispering behind my back fin." The village hemmed and hawed, but none disagreed. It was a good feeling, to rise above it all. 
"...go then, and may Mother Faust and Father Grogar have pity on your poor young soul. Be gone from my sight!" 	The queen then turned to regard Sonata and Aria, but they were already traveling upward in the wake of Adagio Dazzle. The length of the journey was impossible to know, but each fathom that passed the trio by brought ease, then warmth, and finally light. The surface was bright and warm and as endless as Home. It was pastel and strange and filled with colors and sounds and motion that the trio had never before seen. 
Here was a beauty unlike any that Adagio had ever imagined, and in an instant, she fell in love. 
It was only too bad that the surface had no love for the three hippocampus. 





Adagio blinked. When had Buck's hand found hers? He wasn't looking at her. He was looking up at the clouds again. 
"A child that is not embraced by the village will burn it to the ground to feel its warmth." It came out in a slow drawl. He tasted not of pity, but of nostalgia and understanding.
"What are you talking about?" Adagio said. Buck looked back at her and smiled.
"Just an old proverb my Dad used to say. It's from the Motherland."
"Wow, Buck! I didn't know you were Russian!" Scootaloo said, behind them. She stank of freshwater and dripped of it as well. Buck put a couple of fingers to his temples.
"Not...not that Motherland, Scoots."
"I think it's time for a break. Buck, didn't you say there was a restaurant you wanted to take me to?"
"Oh yeah! How'd you like to try the actual best curry in town? My treat." Buck rose, smiling. He tugged gently on Adagio's hand until she rose as well.
"I thought I told you that today was my treat, Buck." Adagio hissed.
"Oh, it is. But can you find it in your crusty heart to make an exception? For me?" Buck made a show of fluttering his eyelashes. Scoots stifled a laugh. Adagio frowned. 
"You are...extraordinarily lucky that you're cute, Buck." Adagio said.
"Hey, wait for me you guys!" Scoots ran after them, but Buck held out a hand.
"Hold on! You're not goin' in there like that!"
"Why what's wrong?"
"Scoots, you smell like you just climbed out of a fuckin' fish tank."
"In a way, she did." Adagio snickered. "He's right. Go rinse off at one of those horrible little shower stations! I'll get you a souvenir towel and a change of clothes"
"Alright, but don't you leave without me!" Scoots said, running off. Adagio was certain that if she didn't get that crop top off soon, the water would shrink it so much that they'd need scissors to remove it.
"...let's have another one." Buck laughed.
"Honestly! You're so obnoxious today!" Adagio giggled.
"What? You'd be a great mom!" 
"In your dreams, Buck. It's not even possible for you to impregnate me."	
"Ah well, there's some dressin' rooms over there." 
"Yes? And what's your point?" Buck slid behind Adagio, and his lust tingled on the tip of her tongue. He pressed up against her.
"We should go over there and try, just to make sure."
"...later, Buck. Later." Adagio said through a sudden rosy heat. 

"Welcome to Svaadisht, the most exotic food in all of Canterlot!" Said a cheery woman from behind a short counter. The restaurant was filled with plush purple cushions and finely grained wood. 
The flickering flowery lamplight cast a dim and homey glow on the hanging rugs and tapestries, and everywhere Adagio looked she saw vibrant yellows and purples and oranges. The mystical tales of the far east she had heard returned to her as Buck led her by the arm past paintings of romantic landscapes and majestic tusked beasts up to the counter.
"Well, this is a change of pace! Buck, when exactly did you become a man of culture?" Adagio said. Buck bit his lip and tried not to laugh. What was it about that term that tickled him so? Adagio looked at Scootaloo, who just shook her head in a disapproving manner. Adagio wasn't sure if that was the remark or the T-shirt they had given her. It had come with the towel, and it said 'Canterlot Wet T-Shirt Contest' on the front.
"Well, normally fancy digs like this are way above my paygrade, but this ones' an exception. Hey there! I'd like some orders of the curry lunch special!" Buck smiled and held up three fingers. The other diners looked over in the direction of his warm voice, looked the group up and down, and began to mutter their distaste.
"Oh, excellent, sir! And how will you be paying?" Said the woman. She was wearing a uniform, not unlike the concierge of the towering hotel that Adagio called her base of operations. 
"No need. Just go run and tell Saff in the back that it's Buck, and he's with friends. She knows me." Buck smiled.
"Err...that's a bit odd, sir." The cashier hesitated under the pressure of the murmuring restaurant. Adagio rolled her eyes.
"Yes, well, you heard the man. Run along now, while we find our seats." Adagio said, tugging Buck over to a table. Scootaloo sat in a chair while Buck and Adagio lounged on the plush couch across the table from her. 
"And three mango lassis, please! Somethin' tells me we're gonna need 'em!" Buck chuckled. The woman uprooted herself from the spot and then scrambled back behind a velvet curtain. "No, but seriously, you guys, the curry here is hot, so pace yourselves, okay?" 
"C'mon, Buck! If you can handle it, so can we!" Scoots said, tapping her chest with a fist.
"Naw, this isn't like a underestimatin' you sorta deal. This is a 'keep the fuckin' bathroom key on lock because it's gonna be a ride' kinda deal. I'm just sayin'." Buck said. 
"It's going to be fine, Buck. Tell me, how did you come to have a contact in a place like this?" Adagio said. Buck took a moment, much like when he was at the game night table, looking for the right words, and he came up with a trailing taste of shame.
"Well, I did a buncha gig work here. It was hard times, but I put in a lot of effort and they fed me and treated me like family. Well, sorta." Buck said. Adagio was about to press further when their three dishes arrived in the arms of a waiter. 
After they began to tuck into their spicy, flavorful meal properly, Adagio's eyes caught the sight of a beautiful woman emerging from the back of the building. 
She had brilliant orange skin and long, wavy prune-colored hair and dark purple eyes. She was tall and curvy and she was carrying a ravishing smile as she straightened her bright patterned scarf. Adagio looked incredulously over Buck's shoulder at the gorgeous woman.
"What? Is there something on my face?" Buck said. Adagio pointed behind him, and right as Buck turned, the woman leaned down and pulled his face directly into her chest and laughed.
"Oooh Buck, my big tasty treat! It's so wonderful to see you!" She said with glee. Her accent trilled and danced across the restaurant, earning looks of shock from the patrons. Well, there was certainly something on his face now, Adagio thought as she crossed her arms. The woman pet Buck's hair and leaned back to let him breathe.
"Hey, Saff! It's uh, it's good to see ya too!" She sat right next to him, practically in his lap.
"Buck, it's been so many moons since I've seen you! I thought Papa's warnings had finally scared you away! How have you been, Buck?" The woman doted. She was tall and obviously mature, but when she sat next to Buck, they looked to be of similar age, at least in Adagio's opinion. She looked to Scootaloo for help, and found none, as she was shoveling spoonfuls of orange curry into her mouth.
"Oh, hah, well, I'd be lyin' if I said it was all good, but I'm in a better place since ya last saw me! Mostly." Buck said. "Uh, hey, Adagio, this is Saffron Masala! She runs this place, and is probably the best damn cook in Canterlot." Adagio frowned as she saw him blushing, but it lessened somewhat as she tasted a profound embarrassment coming off him. 
"Oh, you flirt! Honestly, you never change, Buck!" Saffron tittered. Adagio didn't like the way she was feeling his shoulder and fluttering her eyelashes at him. She wasn't the jealous type, truly she wasn't, but anyone would be annoyed at someone drooling over a piece of jewelry that they were currently wearing. Adagio cleared her throat.
"Oh! I'm terribly sorry! Is this your wife, Buck?" Saffron said, putting her hands up and away. Buck was midway through a generous bite of curry and had to beat on his chest fight off the coughing fit that came.
"Adagio Dazzle. Charmed." Buck gave her a smile that was flailing for a middle ground between apologetic and indignant. 
"A pleasure to meet you, Miss Dazzle. How long have the two of you known each other, if you don't mind me asking? Buck is a withdrawn thing, so I'm surprised that you managed to connect with him so well!" Saffron said. She reached up and stroked Buck's chin as if he was a lapdog, but he gently swatted her hand away, mumbling something about 'people looking' through a mouthful of curry. 
"I've known him long enough to know when he's being polite. Is it necessary for you to fondle him while we talk?" Adagio warned. 
"Oh, Buck doesn't mind! We're well acquainted, after all. You know, Buck really helped my restaurant through a rough patch. He did just about every job besides cooking for us for a time! You're truly lucky to have snagged such a versatile man, who is so good with his hands! Has he been treating you well?" Saffron Masala's smile shined like a half-drawn dagger.
"Yes. While he does tend to be a little on the helpless side, overall I'd say he's a delightful man with a shocking number of esoteric talents, and I'm glad to have his arm." Adagio smiled in a way that was supposed to come off as polite and instead caused the restaurant patrons to look away all at once. 
"Hey, Saff? How's Coriander? I was half expecting him to come charging outta the kitchen with that wooden spoon, yelling 'stay away from my daughter!' when I walked in." Buck said in a slightly offensive mock accent.
"...Papa passed away last spring, Buck. Cancer of the lungs." Saffron said.
"Oh...oh man, I'm so, so sorry Saff. I didn't know, I didn't mean to bring that up!" Buck backpedaled. Saffron Masala's smile was gentle. Her hand came to his shoulder again.
"It's fine, Buck. Papa was surrounded by his loving family, and he got to have our favorite curry before he passed. He was happy, and I was there with him, even at the very end."  She dabbed at the corner of her eye with a handkerchief and smiled at Buck. 
Buck's discomfort once more dived into a bath of acrid shame. Buck's hand, which hadn't left Adagio's under the table, seemed to squeeze reflexively. Adagio quenched the seasoned fire in her mouth with a sip from her drink.
"We're aren't married, by the way. This is only our third date." Adagio said. Her own fire had cooled. 
"Oh. Well. Does that mean you're single, Buck?" Saffron said. The fire in Adagio instantly reignited, but she didn't have to stand, because Buck did it for her.
"Check please!" Buck said, finger in the air. Scootaloo waddled out of the bathroom, looking red-faced and horrified in a way that is saved for embarrassing photographs and existential crises. Adagio assumed that meant she couldn't handle the curry.

As they left the restaurant, Adagio looked down at her hand, which was still holding Buck's. He hadn't stopped squeezing, and it was beginning to ache just the slightest bit. 
"Buck? Are you alright? Why were you so flummoxed by that woman?" Adagio gave a half-hearted verbal feint.
"Hey, hey! How 'bout we hit the arcade, next! They got a Marvel 2 machine in there, and a ping-pong room, Scoots!" Buck leaped out of the verbal fencing field and rolled into a ditch in response.
"Yeah, bet! Let's get hype!" Scoots declared, to Adagio's befuddlement, and then the three were off. 
Across the street, an old-fashioned polaroid camera clicked; capturing Adagio's confused expression.





It could have been hours or days or weeks that Adagio, Aria, and Sonata splashed and frolicked in the waves of the surface, ducking down and away beneath the surf whenever something unfamiliar came near. Everything was unfamiliar on the surface. The hateful heated glare of the blinding orb in the sky, the curious creatures in the shallows, the foam, and the rocking waves, everything was bright and new and strange.
They watched the rise and fall of the glowing circle, which they assumed was the consuming god known as Flame, they saw great strange shapes with tall arms and sturdy bodies gliding effortlessly across the surface, filled with yelling, laughing, singing voices. 
Every moment was an equally exciting discovery, and while they lucked out in finding some crustaceans that looked similar enough to the ones in Home to fill their bellies, Adagio was naturally the first to broach the question of what to do next. 
Sonata spoke without thinking, hardly the first in a lifetime of such instances, saying that they should swim around this big stretch of water and look around for a while.
Aria grumbled that it was too hot up here and the sand scratching them through the waves was getting annoying. 
Adagio, ever the forward thinker, spoke reason.
"This world is completely new for us, but my own goal hasn't changed. I want to learn more about magic, gain greater power and see everything there is to see up here. To that end, my plan is to find what passes for an educational facility in this place, gain admittance, and continue my studies. Neither of you have to come along." Adagio said, turning to swim away. Sonata blocked her path, once again.
"Uhhh...but we're gonna do it anyway? C'mon, uh..."
"Adagio. I was appropriately named Adagio Dazzle." 
"Come on Adagio! We've stuck together this long, why stop now? We need each other!" Sonata said.
"I don't need anyone, but if you once again insist on trailing after me, I won't turn you away. You'd both be helpless without me." Adagio huffed.
"Yeah, sure, just leave us behind, it's not like you need us or anything. Some plan." Aria said.
"We have been on the surface for a minuscule amount of time, and you are already raking at my nerves.  If you both insist on coming along, be quick about it and keep low." Adagio said, not even glancing in Aria's direction. She could taste Aria's sour disposition, which contrasted deliciously with Sonata's cheer-filled sweetness."Now, let's see. What's the fastest way we can get our hands on some information? Who or what would we ask?"
"Maybe that nice lady over on the beach?" Sonata pointed.
Aria ducked down, then Adagio grabbed Sonata by the head and ducked her down as well. 
The passerby was wearing a wide-brimmed hat, carrying a saddlebag, and wearing a cloak. They trotted along on four stubby phalanges, then came to a sit on the edge of the water. Adagio watched as the hat and bags were enveloped in a strange green light, lifted and placed gingerly to the side, revealing a head very similar to Adagio's own, save for the addition of a spiraling horn. On its backside was an odd eight-pointed mark that seemed to have symbols at the extremes of each tip.
"What's that?" Aria bubbled, glaring from the surface.
"I'm very certain that is one of the 'ponies' we were warned about. According to legend, they are uppity control freaks, and there are three factions of them that are constantly at war. If I'm not mistaken, that creature is the species known as a 'Magicorn', and they are easily the most dangerous of the lot. They can make your brains melt out of your ears with nothing more than a thought!" Adagio whispered.
"Well, you might wanna tell that to Sonata." Aria pointed. Adagio looked to her left and saw that Sonata had slithered out of her grasp, and was currently swimming toward the reclining monster with an idiotic smile on her face. 
"Well, having a liquified brain might be a genuine improvement for her. Let's observe for now." Adagio sunk below the surface and followed behind Sonata with Aria at her side.
"Helloooo! Hi! Hi! Hi new friend!" Sonata yipped, stopping just short of her tail touching the sand under the surf. The pony startled and looked as if it might flee or perhaps fire off a sizzling bolt of magic, but then it tilted its head and raised a tentative hoof.
"Hello? I didn't think I would find anypony swimming around out here!" The voice was airy and pleasant, and surprisingly understandable.
"Anypony? That's a silly word! My name's Sonata! Are you a pony!?" Sonata laughed.
"...I am. Aren't you?" The pony tilted its head. Before Sonata could blow this any further, Adagio rose from the water, dunked her companion's head back down, and then reclined her arms atop it like a shelf.
"We are. We just happened to fall off a...vessel that was passing by, and as luck would have it, we were able to swim to shore!" Adagio lied. It came to her swiftly and easily and tasted raw on her tongue.  
"Oh, mercy me! I had heard that the HMS. Griffonstone shipwrecked somewhere off the coast! Terrible business, that! I suppose it serves the brutes right for all of their pillaging and...hunting, or whatever it is that griffons do, but a sad affair altogether." The pony rambled. She produced a notepad from her bag and began scribbling with a quill. 
"Uh, what's a griffon?" Said Aria, emerging halfway from the waves. 
"Oh! Well, they're something like this..." The pony's quill, which seemed to move on its own, flew about the notebook, and then the leaf ripped itself out to present a caricature of a snarling thing with a curled squid beak and big, thin fins on either side and sharp raking points on the ends of its limbs. An absolute terror to be sure, but the hippocampus looked on with awe, analytical attention, and fear. "Nasty creatures, but you need not fear from them under these skies! The Holy Pony Empire is the safest place in all of Equestria!" 
"Yes, yes of course! How fortunate that we were able to wash up on safer tides! We happen to be scholars, not unlike yourself, hoping to study up on the wider mysteries of magic! Tell me, do you happen to know of any institutions nearby that might assist us in that pursuit?" Adagio ventured. They had to tread as carefully as possible, but this small talk was getting them nowhere.
"...well, the best place to go for advanced studies would be Gusty the Greats Academy of the Arcane, which is in the capital city of Canterlot! You three have washed up near the settlement of Baltimare, which is where I live, so if you'd like, I could take you to my home so you can dry off and rest up for your trip!" The pony pointed down the beach as she spoke. "Oh, where are my manners, you poor dears must be freezing! Come on out of the water; I have a tarp that you can wipe off the salt with!" The mare fussed, opening her saddlebag once more. Aria and Sonata looked helplessly at Adagio, who lightly shook her head at them. 
"No, that's quite alright, we rather enjoy a good swim! Could you possibly tell us how to get to Canterlot? Is it much of a paddle from here?" Adagio said.
"Oh, my! It's a bit more than a paddle, dears! You really are turned around, but not to worry, Cartographer Northbreeze is at your service!" The pony exclaimed as she produced a scrap of parchment. Her quill danced across it as she spoke. "Now, if one were to get their hands on a boat, they could shove off from the port in Horseshoe Bay--that's attached to Baltimare, dears--and paddle up the Neighagra River to the west and north, and they would certainly arrive at Canterlot in a matter of perhaps a week and a half. Alternatively, you could charter a caravan overland, which would be more expensive, but definitely safer than braving the rapids. Er...wait, if you were in the shipwreck of the Griffonstone, how do you not know what a griffon is?" The pony halted her ramblings to squint at the three hippocampus. 
"Hm? Oh, we weren't-" Aria dunked Sonata back down as she began to speak. 
"That is, well, we were...kidnapped! Yes, we were kidnapped and blindfolded for much of the journey, I'm afraid! That's how we got so turned around!" Adagio said. 
"Oh, you poor dears! To see three vulnerable siblings taken captive by those beasts is almost too much for my heart to bear! I suppose the shipwreck was a blessed thing, if it means that you three precious sisters managed to get free! You might have been forced into labor or sold to a Saddle Arabian harem; perish the thought! I'll tell you what, if you all are in a hurry, I can build us a fire and give you some bits to get along the road. I wouldn't want to halt young curious minds just as they've begun to wander! How do you all feel about hay fries over a griddle? If we eat now, and get going, we can be in Baltimare by dusk!" The pony said.
"Hay fries? What's that? Does it taste anything like bass?" Sonata emerged, rubbing her chin with a fin. The pony's eyes widened in horrible fascination.
"What, what, what are you!?" She stammered, making to run. She didn't get a chance, for Aria shot through the water like a sturgeon, launching from the surf and headbutting the hapless mapper with a sickening crack to the side of the head. The pony fell to the sand, twitching once, then went still. Aria flopped briefly without any water to grab, then sighed in relief as Adagio sang a small wave to carry her back into the sea.
"That could've gone better." Aria grumbled. 
"It also could have gone much worse. Excellent form on that attack, Aria. You may have just saved us a heap of trouble." Adagio said. A rare smile flickered on Aria's face, then snapped its neck on the stairs as Sonata reclined on top of her bobbing head.
"Yeah, but, you know, that pony wasn't nearly as scary as I thought it would be. She was sorta nice, actually!"
"She was overbearing, but it matters not. Now we have a lead and a direction to swim." Adagio said.
"Wait, are we just gonna leave her there? What if some other ponies come by?" Sonata said.
"That's a fine point. I think it's safe to assume that Canterlot is not going to be hippocampus accessible. We'll need to blend in. Did you see how she was moving?" 
"Yeah, so what?" Aria said.
"So what? So, you'd better get used to it." Adagio said. She took the fins of her companions and began to sing. The surf rose and bubbled around them, shrouding them in a shimmering wave of energy, and as the tide receded, so too did their natural forms. Adagio, Aria, and Sonata rose from the waves in the guise of ponies. It was strange; Adagio had cast a simple disguise song, but it appeared her talent at manipulation had unseen effects. She had used the magicorn as a base, but it was only herself that possessed a horn. Sonata was granted a pair of oddly flimsy, flexile fins on her back, and Aria's form grew sturdier and a bit stumpier. 
"Wow, Adagio! This is amazing, how'd you know how to do that!?" Sonata said, prancing in place.
"It was a simple matter for me." Adagio shook the shock from her face and flipped her hair. 
"I hate everything about this!" Aria shouted, stumbling out of the waves.
It took Adagio only a short while to learn to canter properly in her new form, and Sonata seemed to be granted the gift of swimming effortlessly through the thin air above. Aria spent that time stumbling around and stamping at the beach in frustration. It seemed her lower center of gravity was more a hindrance than a help. She would simply have to acclimate in time, for there was none to waste. 
The three stripped the pony of her earthly possessions and trotted off in the direction she had pointed.
"Well girls, it appears that a whole new world of wonders and possibility is stretching out before us. Are you both certain that you still wish to follow me?" 
"You're stuck with us, Adagio. Get used to it." Aria huffed as she tripped over a fallen log.
"Yeah, on for all and all that stuff! But something has been bothering me..." Sonata said, flitting under a hanging vine.
"What's that, Sonata?" Adagio said as Aria refused her helping hoof. Sonata's face crumbled in concentration.
"What's a 'Dusk'?"





"Wait, holy shit, did you murder that poor lady?" Buck said. They were leaning on the wall beneath an awning beside a wide threshold with the words 'Button Mash Arcade' in neon overhead. Scootaloo was a few paces away, slamming on the buttons of a blinkering cabinet that was titled 'Them's Fightin' Herds' in bright letters on the side. 
"Of course not, Buck! Probably. I recall that she was breathing when I relieved her of her hat. That was a very nice hat." Adagio sighed.
"...okay, then." Buck said. He reached into his pocket and placed a quarter on the side of Scootaloo's opponent, who looked to be having a hard time. Buck sook a sip of his soda and seemed to relax.
"However, we definitely killed the next group of ponies to cross our path." Adagio smiled. Buck spit out his drink as a bunch of flashing lights illuminated Scootaloo's face.
"Yeah, get wrecked! Hahaha!" 





Adagio, had wisely chosen to hover around the small port of Baltimare to soak in the local buzz and nomenclature. Apparently, the griffons across the sea were at war with the dragons and at war with the yaks and at war with the ponies in a cold sense, as the ponies never allowed their forces to reach their shores. There was casual mention of pegasi creating something called a water spout, earth ponies kicking boulders into ships, and unicorns doing...something called a 'want it-need it' to a boat anchor, which caused entire crews to throw themselves into the ocean. It seemed that the tales of the horror and brutality of ponies were not entirely unfounded, but much more concerning was that they were apparently all working together now, and the result was that they were the dominant military force on the surface.  
"We have to stay on guard, girls. It seems that these ponies will stop at nothing to maintain their colonial status quo, up to and including the slaughter of their neighbors at the slightest provocation." Adagio said. The trio had taken to the road now, with the river on their left. They were heading in the direction written 'west' on the map they had plundered, so they were on course for Canterlot. 
The shade of the trees and the darkened wood on either side of the path and the burbling of the river all worked together to calm Adagio. The darkness here would never be Home, but it felt right.
"Does that mean we have to stay like this all the time? This is gonna suck." Aria whined. 
"Aw, come on, Aria! Think about all the weirdo new people we're gonna meet! And the food we're gonna eat! And the, uh, trail, we're gonna...beat?"
"Are you writing a song, Sonata?" Adagio said.
"It's a work in progress!" 
"Yes, well, I understand your excitement, but we need to tread carefully. We shouldn't draw so much attention to ourselves until we find a safe place to make our base. That means no beating anyone senseless unless I say so. Is that clear, Aria?" 
"Whatever, Adagio. I'll knock around whoever I want." Aria grumbled. Adagio turned then, stopping dead.
"What did you just say to me?" Aria had spoken without thinking, but as she looked ahead and saw Adagio in the form of the monsters she'd been warned about since she was a fry, her blood ran cold and she began to think very quickly.
"Uh, uhm, well, uh..."
"Oooooh! You're in trouble, now!" Sonata teased from her perch upon a branch. 
"I know you, Aria. You aren't half the fool that Sonata is, and yet you somehow manage to say the most moronic things. Do you understand what's at stake? There are three of us, and a nation of them. If you want a swarm of weather-controlling, boulder tossing, brain melting monsters to hunt you down for sport, you are welcome to do it."
"That's not what-"
"But mark me, Aria. If you drag myself and Sonata into a death by inches, I will make sure that you die last, and more painfully than either of us. You want to go wild? Go ahead. You are more than welcome to go off and die alone." Adagio's words were a rumble of thunder over the ocean. A singular warning. Adagio said nothing more, turning to head back down the road, and after a bit of hemming and hawing, Aria ran after her.  There was nothing but a sullen silence between the trio for leagues ahead until their peace was broken by a rustling in the brush. 
Greed, Cruelty, and Lust surrounded them on all sides, then a group of what Adagio recognized as earth ponies, wielding rusted farming equipment in their teeth. A smarmy smile atop a wiry frame stepped from the foliage at the edge of the path and spoke in a voice that was obnoxiously loud and over-enunciated.
"Well, well, well! If it isn't a couple of hapless young mares on the road to Canterlot! Didn't anyone tell you that there's a toll to be paid coming this way, loves?"
"Ah, well we certainly weren't told of this tithe. Tell me, how much must we spare for you to allow us passage?" Said Adagio without a moment's hesitation. 
"Well! An educated young unicorn mare out in these 'ere parts is a rare sight indeed! I think a stay of service in our camp will be more than enough payment, on top of whatever it is you've got in that bag, there." Said the brigand. His fellows laughed and spat. 
"I regret to inform you that I'm not for sale, kind sir." Adagio said. 
"I wasn't askin', little poppet." The brigand growled through the gaps in his teeth. Adagio sighed.
"Of course not. I suppose then a payment is in order. I'll have you pay us for the inconvenience in an object lesson. Sonata, how about a little song? Something that will properly enrapture our audience?" Adagio said. 
Sonata flapped to the center of the path and began to sing and dance in the air. Her enchanting melody carried into the ears of the other bandits, and they stood in slack-jawed awe at her performance. 
"Aria? Could you take care of his legs?" Adagio said, gesturing broadly at the bandit leader. A subtle beating of the hooves on the ground became a song of speed and strength. Aria dashed forward and swept the legs out from the hapless colt, then brought her hooves down and hobbled him. His awe at Sonata's display became a cry of pain and terror as Adagio strode up to him. Her face was impassive as if she were in the midst of doing laundry or reading her mail. 
"I want you both to watch, now. This is what happens when you are caught alone up on the surface." Sonata stopped dancing and singing. Her enchantment ended, but the other bandits stopped in their tracks as they saw Adagio's hoof press onto the colt's neck. He wheezed out pleas for help and for mercy, but half his men were already running off into the bush, and the others were backing away. 
"If we don't work together, this is what will become of us." It began as a gentle pressure, then grew firmer as Adagio leaned forward until there was a soft crack, and where a vicious little stallion lay, there was nothing but a dead body. "There. Now, do you both understand?" Sonata was shaking, but Aria was firm. They both nodded. "Good. Let's be along then, shall we?" 
"But Adagio, what about the other ones?" Sonata said.
"That's a fair point. Girls? I'll wait here. Why don't the two of you go entertain yourselves with whichever ones you happen to catch. Be back before the setting of the sun." Adagio said. She began to pick through the belongings of the body beneath her as Aria and Sonata chased the remaining bandits into the woods.  

"...how many people have you killed, Adagio?" Buck spoke through Adagio's misty nostalgia. She tasted him and found not scorn, but a bit of distant fear, and a disconcerting sort of sympathy.
"I never bothered to tally up such a trivial detail, Buck. We do what we must in self-defense. Go on." Adagio said, refusing to look at him.
"What?"
"Go on and ask me. You wanted to ask me; how many of them weren't self defense?" Adagio said.
"I wasn't gonna ask that. It doesn't matter. Those men were bastards, and they would've done ya dirty." Buck said. He didn't understand, then. He was too focused on that one instant. This was another teachable moment.
"Well, that's not incorrect, Buck, but you're missing the point. It doesn't matter how many I've killed because they no longer matter. Because they are dead, and I'm alive. To be frank, the dazzlings have rarely killed. Well, I specifically haven't; Aria is a tally all on her own. It's a wise policy to only think of killing when your options are scarce, but I posit this to you, Buck."
"Yeah?" Buck said. Adagio squeezed his hand and turned to him. In Adagio's eyes, Buck saw the blackness of the tide at night.
"In a word of magic and limitless ways to cause harm, do you really think that killing is the worst thing I can do to you?" Adagio smirked in the shaken silence that fell over Buck. He was a creative sort; surely he could conceive of a few terrible ways by which one could be treated with magic.
"I think that using water magic to make someone drown on land is probably one of the worst ones I can think of off the top of my head. Drowning is super painful, and a normal person couldn't do anything about, say, like a bubble of water that's wrapped around their head. They'd just claw uselessly at their face and probably try to beg for their life, but that would only make it worse. I seen you basically dump a bucket of whatever on me from outta nowhere, but if what you said about your test before is accurate, it's prolly true that your specialty is transmutation, which is a whole horrifyin' can o' worms, but drowning on land is about the worst one I can think of right now. That, or like, turning a person's blood into acid in their veins. Yikes." Buck finished his ramble, then turned to look at the horror in Adagio's eyes. She had a hand clasped over her mouth. It hid the tiniest, cruelest of smiles.
"...you would have made an excellent Siren, Buck." Adagio said, finally. 
"What, Me? Naw, I don't think so. I'm too much of a softie for that freakshit, and I ain't got no magic, besides. I'm more a lover than a fighter." Buck shrugged. Adagio had nearly forgotten that Buck was a man of ideas. She would need to ask him more about his own past because if even a single piece had gone awry, it was possible that Buck could have been the greatest nightmare of his age. How could he not know the power he wielded? How long could Adagio hide it from him? 
"Hey. Adagio? Hey, you in there?" Buck said. He was holding out the straw of his drink to her. "You look a lil' thirsty."
"I'm not thirsty for soda, Buck." Adagio said, between sips. "Speaking about my past is a bit taxing on me, as you can imagine." 
"Okay, well, we can take a break if you want? I wouldn't mind finding a little shade and uh...toppin' you off." Buck said. He tasted unsure, and his voice quavered a little bit. He wanted to keep going, very obviously, which caught Adagio by surprise.
"No, I don't think so. The next bit is important. Gusty the Great's Academy of the Arcane was the perfect space for my sisters and I to come into our own, and what happened there would set the stage for the rest of our lives."	
"Oh, sick, you've got school stories? I bet you guys were a huge mess of trouble for the dean!"
"Yes we were Buck, and yes I do, but you're getting the abridged version. If you want more stories from my academy days, you'll simply have to ask me when I'm in the right mood." Adagio smiled.
"That sounds like a whole night, and I'm totally in!" Scootaloo said, leaning back from the arcade cabinet. Buck had forgotten to jump in the line, and now there were people going around the corner lining up to take on Scootaloo at Them's Fightin' Herds. It was mostly children.
Adagio cleared her throat, took another sip of Buck's drink, and continued.





What was most striking about Canterlot was the glare. It was a fortress of marble and stone, built right into the side of a mountain by unicorn magic, and when the sun came up, its alabaster streets gleamed and sparkled in the light. The first time she saw it, Adagio was blown away by the majesty of it all. The tenth time she saw it, she wished she had alicorn magic just so that she could make the sun shift permanently behind a cloud.
Alicorns. That was what the Princesses of Equestria; the absolute authority of the most powerful empire on the surface were. Alicorns were creatures with the features of all three pony species, and an immense amount of magical power. A Princess was the living embodiment of the fundamental philosophy of the Holy Pony Empire; that when all kinds of ponies unite as one, they can become the greatest power in all the world. Or, at least, that's what the brochure said. 
The day that Adagio, Aria, and Sonata arrived in Canterlot was the coronation of the new alicorn monarch; Princess Glitter Punch. She was allegedly too young to take the throne, or so said her viziers, but the Princess was also spunky and freewheeling and refused to take 'No' for an answer. Adagio's kind of pony, in other words. Sonata wanted to go out and see the parade, but there was no time. Aria's hooves were aching from all the travel, and more importantly, Adagio's nerves were frazzled. They had been given directions to the G.G.A.A. when they entered Canterlot but were also told that the entrance examination was rigorous. The world was once again demanding that Adagio display her power; power she did not have alone. But then, she was hardly alone now. 
The great archway of the G.G.A.A. stood in contrast to every other structure in Canterlot. Whereas the city was all marble columns and gold plating, this structure was bursting with a rainbow of colored stones. There were carvings of every creature on the face of the earth, monsters that Adagio had never before seen, and the three species of pony were battling them all together. In the direct center above the gate was a bust of a great blue creature with sweeping, curling horns leering down at a unicorn with white fur and green and pink mane. Beneath that was a shimmering banner of emerald that read in runes; 'Power Through Unity'.
"Ah, so you wish to master the arcane arts?" From a small booth built into the towering wall surrounding the school came a withering voice. An aged, mint-colored mare smiled tenderly at the three hippocampus in disguise. "There's no use hiding it, dearies! I can see the thirst for knowledge in your eyes!" She said. 
"Now, now, you know the rules! None may pass without the vouch of an accredited teacher! Look at this rabble! They just wandered in off the street; I bet they haven't even a family name between them!" Grumbled an equally wizened donkey in a booth on the other side of the gate. "State your business or go, I don't care which!" 
"The mare has the right of it, noble gatekeepers. We have come seeking the sort of enrichment that only this institution can offer; proper study into advanced magic. We were told that there is no better place in Equestria to make study of the arcane, and so we have traveled for days and leagues to join this school. We will not be turned away." Adagio said. She took care to bow and pulled Aria and Sonata down with her.
"Do you have proper accreditation?" Asked the donkey.
"Well, no, we do not." Said Adagio.
"Then why are you wasting our time?" He said, down his nose. Adagio seethed but felt an even greater fury coming off Aria, and that helped her to relax. 
"We were told that those who passed a challenging entrance examination would find a home here. Is that not true?" Adagio said.
"Yes, it is. With proper accreditation." The donkey said. 
"Now, now, there is a test that can be taken without a powerful pony to vouch for them, it will simply be more rigorous than the exam!" Said the kindly mare. She smiled at the trio. "All you need do is present a show of force before the arch, and if it deems you worthy, the gates will open!"
"That's just an old ponies' tale! The gate hasn't opened on it's own in thousands of years! You're better off trying to bottle sunshine!" The old donkey grumbled.
"The strictures are quite exact on this. All prospective students are permitted to try the arch! Let's give them a chance!" With the old mare's blessing, the trio huddled together. After a brief argument and a sneer from Adagio, a circular pass of a waterskin and a brief vocal warm-up, the three stood and strutted up to the gate as one. It seemed this situation called for a simple approach. 

The greatest of songs always contain a simple truth from their composers. Such was the case with this tune, one they had not needed to rehearse, for it snaked from their hearts and reared up with a vicious, simple candor. A haunting, enchanting expression of their triplet souls; an ode to their power and their beauty and what was in store.	
"Welcome to the show...
We're here to let you know
Our time is now
Your time is running out." 
The trio's voices rose, and their hooves left the ground. They were surrounded by the rippling of their song through air and space and reality. The whole of Canterlot silenced beneath their majesty, and it is still spoken of in Equestria; the strange day in which the coronation of an alicorn princess was briefly halted in its tracks as every available ear twitched and turned to listen to a three-part harmony coming from the other edge of the great city. 
The enormous arch of gem and stone quivered, and the ruby eyes within the great blue ram's head glowed with a profane light. It can never be proven, as the arch is now but dust beneath the firmament of Canterlot as it stands today, but the donkey gatekeeper would go to his grave swearing that this was a mistake, a horrible mistake, for as the verse echoed among the marble and tore up the mountainside and into the clouds, a thin, hairline fracture appeared upon the visage of Gusty the Great herself just beneath the visage of foul Grogar in the arch, and this surely spelled the beginning of a new age; an age of coiling, stampeding beasts, ripping through all that was good and devouring all that was powerful in their path. 
At that moment, however, there was naught but awe from the gatekeepers, and the students inside the Academy who watched from their high dormitory windows, and any hapless ponies who happened to be passing by across the street and down the block and around the corner. 
"What...did you say that your names were?" Croaked the sweet old mare. The trio's hooves had touched the ground again, and they stood triumphant together as a great rumbling in the walls shook the ground.
"Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze and Sonata Dusk. As for our family name, you may refer to us as...The Dazzlings. Will there be any further inquiries as to our 'accreditation'?" Adagio said. Her smile was the edge of a falling claymore. 
The great arch trembled and glowed with arcane energy, and with a tremendous amount of effort, the massive gates of G.G.A.A. rumbled open. There was naught but silence from the gatekeepers as another set of doors across the courtyard scrambled open as if in panic.
"I didn't think so." With a shared smirk, the Dazzlings made their way onto the campus of Gusty the Great's Academy of the Arcane, and into the best years of their lives. 





"That's badass." Buck said. At some point, he had gotten out of Adagio's grasp and was currently engaged in a spirited match with Scootaloo at the arcade machine she had been loitering at. A small group of children had gathered to watch them. Buck and Scootaloo's hands were dancing over the controls at a rapid pace. 
"Shut up Buck! You don't get to compliment me while you're winning!" Scootaloo shouted. On the screen, a draconic figure with a blazing mane and tail was getting bounced back and forth by the ice crystals formed by a regal deer. 
"No, no, I mean that was a good linker! You would'a had me if you hadn't dropped it!"	
"Shut up, Buck!" Scootaloo said. Adagio had never seen her so focused. 
"Buck. were you even listening?" Adagio said. She pushed past the children hovering around and stood beside Buck, her sharp nails digging gently into his shoulder. She knew he couldn't taste her fury, but she hoped he could feel it.
"Huh? Oh yeah, hol' up." Buck said. He tapped some buttons and rolled his hand over the stick, and in turn, the doe on-screen stabbed the dragon back with a standing shard of ice, then pirouetted and unleashed a spinning pillar of frost that brought the beast to the ground.
"K.O.!" Said the cabinet. Scootaloo's head slapped onto the buttons as a timer counted down on the screen.
"C'mon, Scoots! You were bustin' my ass for like forty percent of that match!"
"But I still lost...It's not fair that you switched to Velvet!"
"What? You mean my main? Scoots, you gotta learn how to deal with a bad matchup, that's just part'a the game." Buck patted Scootaloo's back. "Besides, you could'a switched, too."
"No way! Tianhuo is the sickest!"
"Well then Velvet's gonna keep bein' your worst nightmare."
"Ughhh...hey Adagio, why don't you play a round with me?"
"Really? I betcha she plays Oleander."
"Aw man! You're right; she is SUCH an Oleander!" Scootaloo said, frowning. 
"Buck." Adagio said, seething.
"Yeah, babe?"
"Buck, what was the last thing I said?"
"Huh?"
"My story, Buck. The story you were so keen on hearing today. What was the last thing I said?" Adagio was leaning forward, her nails drumming on the arcade cabinet. She was entertaining the thought of tearing this machine in twain, but Buck blinked and smiled at her.
"You were saying that you made history by being the first group of students in thousands of years to get the arch to open. You cast a spell, or, I guess you sang it, and it let y'all through. Hey, does that mean that you're a Bard? 'cause that's rad." Buck said. 
Adagio's anger slipped on a banana peel and was instantly replaced with red-faced embarrassment. She had underestimated the man again. She saw Scootaloo stifling a laugh over Buck's shoulder, but Adagio's glare put an end to it.
"Heheh...hah...uh...who's for ping pong?" Scootaloo said, shrinking away. 
Across the way, the camera clicked in rapid succession, catching Adagio's look of contempt, then her sigh, then her devious smirk.
"In a bit. I need to borrow Buck for just a little while." Adagio said. She took Buck's hand and began leading him toward the beach at a quick trot.
"Where're we goin'?" Buck said. Adagio could taste his excitement, but he clearly wanted her to say it, so she indulged him.
"The dressing rooms." She said.





"Are they seriously about to--oh, yep, they sure are." Now it was Sunburst looking through the binoculars. He chuckled and looked over at Starlight, who was scribbling notes. Many of the notes were crossed out.
"It just doesn't make any sense, Sunburst. Without her stupid amulet, she shouldn't be able to take in the ambient emotions around her, so she has to be getting Buck's power through some other means. She hasn't drained him today, at least not obviously, but she still looks like she's full of power. I mean, she's practically glowing! What is going on?" 
"Maybe you're not looking at it the right way? This isn't like traditional magic draining; she's not like a changeling, which suck magic out through the mouth, right?"
"We don't know that. When I scryed on them, I didn't see a transfer of power. They just..."
"Had a lot of freaky sex?"
"...yes. And then Buck's aura flared up and that was the last thing I saw. In theory, that would have shaken the room or caused some kind of damage, but he would have talked to you about it if that had happened, right?"
"Right. But that's what I mean. This isn't traditional magic. Buck's a special case, and the way that Sirens really work is kind of a mystery, too. There are only three of them in Equestrian history, and Adagio is one of them."
"But what does sex have to do with it?" Starlight tore out and tossed the page, starting on a new one. "This is so frustrating! Why can't they just be normal!?"
"Normal, as in something other than magical?"
"Normal like a bugbear! Or a cragadile! Something we could beat up and send back! I am so tired of following her around!" Sunburst peered through the lenses once more and saw that Scootaloo seemed to be standing guard in front of one of the little dressing room huts that were posted against the sea wall. Her face was red.  
"Well...I have a theory. Maybe Adagio feeds on Buck through intimacy."
"What?"
"Think about it, Starlight. Every time we've seen them together, Adagio has been clinging to Buck. She won't let him go, and they tease each other, sure, but when they're together, Adagio is on top of the world. You said you looked in on her coming and going to work; what did she look like then?"
"Like a typical office worker. Dead inside." Starlight grunted.
"Exactly. But you said she also goes into Sugar Cube Corner for snacks." Sunburst said. He was smiling at her.
"Yes. And to see Buck."
"What does she do when she sees Buck?" 
"Well, when the boss wasn't around, she molested him."
"And when the boss is around?"
"...even then, she touches him when she pays. She always pays in cash...probably as an excuse to touch him. And just recently, she came after him in the alleyway. They had an argument, I think, but they kissed.
"Did their auras flare, then?" Sunburst said. Starlight's eyebrows flew up.
"They did!"
"Well, I can tell you this; Buck is...very particular and even cagey about sex, but physical intimacy is extremely important to him. Magic is always connected to emotion, so it stands to reason that the catharsis and emotional rush that comes from intimacy would spike his aura. Which means...?" 
"Which means that when Adagio has sex with him, she's able to drink her fill! That's why she acts like a thirsty skank around Buck; she gets the most power from him during sex! It all makes sense!"
"Glad you thought of it, Starlight." Sunburst smiled.
"Okay, then, the question is; how do we get Buck to stop having sex with Adagio?" Starlight said, scribbling quick notes to the tune of 'Magic power through sex addiction' and 'Transfer through intimacy'. Sunburst laughed out loud at that.
"Oh, oh, no, Starlight, that's not going to happen!" 
"What do you mean!? Buck is a little dumb, but he's not suicidal! She's just wants him so she can leech off him, and once he realizes that, he'll get wise!"
"Starlight."
"She may be pretty and she might seem special to him, but she's a menace who's obviously using him, so if we just get him away from her, he'll be fine! We can't rule out that she's been subtly bewitching him, and we can't afford to just leave them together."
"Starlight?"
"She's evil! He has to know that, at least!?"
"Starlight! I know you're worried and I know you want to protect Buck, and the city and everything else, but listen. I don't think Adagio is pushing for anything nefarious, here. I think she's just lonely without the other sirens, and she needs someone to care for her and feed her magic, which I'll remind you, she needs to live! Buck isn't going to give up being intimate with her; that's not even an option." Sunburst had gotten up and wrapped his arms around Starlight's shoulders. She was grinding her teeth again.
"Well, why not!?" 
"Because he loves her. He won't say it, because he's scared, and he's scared for a multitude of reasons. But he loves her. He's my best friend; I can tell."
"He just thinks he loves her. She's just tricking him."
"I don't think so."
"Why?"
"Because everything you just said are things that my Mom said when I told her that you and I were dating. I know you have his best interests at heart, but we have to trust him."
"...but what if you're wrong?"
"Well...then we'll just have to be ready to take Adagio down." 





Adagio was caught in the coils of a python. A python that liked to play with its food. She had pulled Buck into the dressing room, and the second the door was locked, Buck had turned her around before the mirror to torture her. Her panties were off and her skirt was hiked up. Buck's pants were around his ankles, and his hot, thick cock was between Adagio's thighs. One of his meaty arms was wrapped around her waist, his hand holding Adagio's, while his other hand was between Adagio's legs, fondling and squeezing and stroking and teasing her. Adagio stood helplessly quivering and squeaking into her free hand while Buck played with her, grinding his cock between her thighs and peppering her neck with tender kisses.
She was mortified seeing the blush on her face, the trembling of her knees, and the flickering heat in Buck's eyes. His lust was all around, but wouldn't touch her. He was so hot and hard between her legs, and all he had to do was angle up and give her what she needed, but Adagio couldn't speak, because if her hand stopped covering her mouth, she would moan out loud and alert anyone passing by.
"Mm...look at you...look at how pretty you are like this..." Buck murmured in her ear with that delicious, horrible roll in his voice. Buck planted a sugary kiss on Adagio's cheek, and she saw her eyes threaten to roll back. Just a tiny taste of his love was like a tickle at her clitoris. She would not beg. She refused, even as her hips wiggled desperately against Buck's.
"Why don't you tell me what you want, Princess? You're the one that brought me here, I know you want something...so tell me." Buck whispered from the depths of the earth and over Adagio's shoulder. 
She could swear she saw him sprouting horns in the mirror. Adagio shut her eyes and whimpered. Her traitorous snatch squelched around his digging fingers. She knew that Buck could and would tease her all day; he would forget about the aquarium and her story and just keep her trapped here, dancing right on the edge until she finally buckled. He was a cruel, relentless thing, and Adagio hated how much this turned her on.
"I....want you...to stop teasing me!" Adagio gasped through her fingers as Buck's hand let go. Suddenly, both sets of pointer and middle fingers were fondling her, massaging and rubbing at her vulva from both sides, the index fingers working her clitoris in tandem. Adagio shook and clasped her mouth with both of her hands. 
"And what should I do instead of teasing you, Princess? Do you want me to do something with this..?" A rough hitch of Buck's hips rubbed his cock against Adagio, sending another tingling shock through her nerves. He pressed in with his fingers and started to thrust lightly between her thighs. 
Adagio nodded so frantically in answer that her hat nearly fell from her head. 
"Hmm...I don't know, Princess. Something tells me it's not just a good hard fucking that you want...I think you want something more. A little bit of cream on top." Buck nipped at Adagio's necK. She could feel his cock head sliding with a deliberate slowness against her drooling lips. It was a red hot poker that threatened to set her aflame, and she needed it so badly! Buck pulled on her hips, taking a step back, and without thinking, Adagio leaned forward and pressed her ass against him. 
*SLAP* 
Adagio could see her ass wobbling over her shoulder in the mirror and the burning lust in Buck's painted eye. 
"What is it about creampies that you love so much? Can you tell me that?" Buck said, his hands wandering and rolling over Adagio's cheeks. The absence of his fingers playing between her lips made Adagio feel itchy and hollow. 
"That's...! It's a treat...it's something that's intense and sweet and...satisfying. It's something only you can give me, something I refuse to share. It's a little piece of you that you pour inside me and it makes me feel..." Adagio trailed off as Buck nudged her ankle with his foot, spreading her legs.
"Full?" And then Adagio's face pressed against the mirror as Buck pushed roughly inside her. "Is that all, Princess?" His hips slid back slowly, and before Adagio could brace herself, he slammed back in all the way. "Or could it also be that you're a masochist that likes bein' manhandled? You want me to use you, Adagio? Is that it? You want me to empty myself inside you? Are you sure you can handle that?" Buck's voice was a steaming rain around her. He was still, even hilted fully inside her, teasing Adagio, his hips rolling and grinding in little circles. 
"H-How dare you! You think I can't handle you!?" Adagio wouldn't, couldn't open her eyes. If she did, she would see how disheveled she was, and she would see Buck's smile, and then she would burn down. 
She yelped as Buck grabbed her french braid and yanked her head back. His hand came back around to brush at her clitoris with just the barest tips of his fingers, earning a moan and a shuddering of the knees. 
She hated him. She loved him. She tried to bury the thought, but it burst from the ground in a geyser of flame and spelled itself in the sky. She wanted him, and she needed him to stop teasing her and just fucking break her already!
"You didn't believe me when I said your eyes glowed pink. I'm not gonna let you hide, now. Look." Buck commanded. Adagio's chin was grabbed and tilted up by Buck's fingers. Her eyes snapped open. Buck rolled his hips into her in slow, long strokes. She could hear herself squelching around him, gripping him tightly. She bit her lip and tried not to moan, but a quick hard thrust pushed her closer to the edge. 
Buck got to work, then, thrusting with a steady pace into Adagio, making her watch her face contort with pleasure in the mirror as his cock drove into her over and over again. He kept going just hard enough to keep her quivering and squealing, but not nearly enough to push her over the edge. 
He would stop briefly, and Adagio would whine and throw her hips back against him, hoping he would let her finish like this, but he'd yank her ponytail and savagely slam his cock into her before resuming his torturously even rhythm. 
"Look at how beautiful you are, Adagio. I've seen you act cruel, and I've seen you act sweet...But do you know which Adagio I like the most?" His searing lust melted and dripped into a sweet, hot caramel. She tried to dip her head so she wouldn't have to look, but Buck held her ponytail fast. 
"The Adagio I like the most is honest about what she wants." Buck said. "Do you like me, Adagio?" His hips bucked once, twice, and a third. He felt like he was about to build up again, but he stopped short and rubbed light, delicate circles on her clitoris. 
"I...tolerate you!" Adagio hissed between gasps. Distant disappointment beneath his lust. Adagio felt her stomach drop as she realized she hated to disappoint him. Buck's fingers slipped away from Adagio's wet lips, and his cock slid back slowly. 
"You are such a liar." Buck said. His hand came down on her rear.
*SLAP* 
His cock slid out until just his head remained inside her. Adagio felt like an abandoned ship. 
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I like you, I like you, Buck!" Adagio squealed, then stifled a small scream as Buck hilted in her once again. She felt so fundamentally incomplete without him inside her, floating in his sugary, spicy affection. He was poison for her, and he was a shameful midnight snack. 
"What do you want me to do to you, Adagio?" Buck hissed in her ear. His fingers pressed down on her clit while his cock pushed up at the root. Adagio's gasps and moans were light and airy and girlish. He wasn't afraid of her. He wanted her, even though she was a killer.
"I want you, Buck. I want...mnnghh!" Buck's slow and grinding thrusts were leaving her short on breath. Her eyelids fluttered open and she saw a flash of pink in the mirror. He was going to run. Surely, once she told the rest of her story, he would run, and he would leave her more hollow than ever before. That's what the desperate voice in Adagio's head said. It was the cruel, reasonable sense that had kept her alive all these years. 
"What do you want, Princess?" Buck said. She saw her pink, glowing gaze, and she saw the tender longing in Buck's eye behind her and she felt his heart standing on the edge of a cliff, and then came another voice in the back of Adagio's heart. 'Don't you want to keep him?' it whispered. He just told you how. Tell him the truth, you silly little fry. 
Adagio's eyes opened. Buck had told the truth, but of course he had. Buck didn't seem to have the capacity to lie to her. She saw, for the first time, her eyes glowing a bright, sugary pink, and a single slim tear creeped out of the corner of one. 
"I...I want you to love me, Buck. " She had meant it to be a whisper, but she looked at him in the mirror and caught his eye and she spoke it boldly and without fear or compromise. Her hands rose to cover her mouth again, but Buck...he slid out of her and put his hands on her shoulders and he turned her around. 
She wouldn't look at him now, but she felt Buck's steady hand slide up and push her hat back. His lips touched her forehead and it was like melting into a puddle. 
His love was her whole world for that moment. She wondered how she could live without it now, and the thought made another tear escape her eye. She took his hand and backed up against the wall across from the mirror. Her hand slid down and squeezed his cock. Her eyes met his again. 
Here she saw fear buried beneath an ocean of love. 
"Please." She whispered.
It was not a sweet, tender thing. Buck reached down and lined himself and filled her properly in one grunting thrust. Her leg came up and hooked around his waist and her nails dug into his back. Locked together like this, Buck's hand scooped down to squeeze Adagio's ass cheek, and then all there was to do was hold on as he broke her. She covered her mouth, but as she bounced helplessly against the wall, she watched her pupils turn to hearts in the mirror and the squeals coming from between her fingers drop into low, husky moans.
This time there was no pacing or ordered breathing or careful, tender ministration. Buck grunted and growled and pounded up into her like she was the last woman on earth, and all the while she drowned in his overflowing lust and rode the lightheaded high of his pure, primal desire. 
Power. So much power! 
She saw a pair of equine ears sparkle into existence at the top of her head, her fins slowly unfurling as Back savaged her with his cock. 
"Give it to me, Buck!" Adagio begged in his ear as she squeezed him. The sloppy sounds of his hips slapping into her sopping wet pussy built up to a frantic beat. Adagio struggled to cling to her senses as Buck's passion flooded her.
She came, groaning and wringing and shaking against him, and then Buck flooded her in an entirely different way. She saw his cheeks tensing in the mirror as he slammed his cock home and coated her insides with his love.
Buck gasped and came and leaned into a few more brutal, greedy thrusts and he came again and Adagio could taste the world settling into a euphoric pink haze. 
Buck held on to Adagio, kept her pressed against the wall until his breath evened out. Every twitch of his cock within her sensitive insides made Adagio quiver. 
She wiped the joyful tears on Buck's shoulder and glared at herself in the mirror until her eyes and form shifted back to normal. She felt a sugar rush and a stomach ache coming on, but she hadn't fainted this time. This was a victory.
Buck let Adagio's leg drop back down, and he was kissing her again before she could even say a word. 
The kiss was light and nearly apologetic, but Adagio pulled him in and let her tongue wander into his mouth.
Buck didn't understand. Adagio had warned him, and he had pressed forward, and now it was too late.
She would never let him go, now.





Adagio hadn't understood precisely what a college of the arcane was when she strode through the gates. In time, she would understand that it was a place where ponies came to posture and bicker amongst themselves and scramble for as much arcane knowledge as they could get between their hooves. While unicorns in this time were high in magical potency, sorcery could be practiced by all creatures when they possessed the right knowledge and components. 
She also learned that the true primary characteristic of all ponykind was that of pettiness. 
The social structure of Canterlot was such that unicorns believed themselves second only to their alicorn monarch, pegasi believed that turning a blind eye was the same as rising above a circumstance, and earth ponies quietly despised everything else on four hooves. 
This was fortuitous because the Dazzlings had taken the guise of each of the three species, and that meant catching heat from every type of student that crossed their path. Even some teachers disliked them for daring to call each other family. In this arena of scholastic drama, the Dazzlings found their niches in the arcane arts. 
Sonata was a perfect fit for the school of Enchantment; changing minds and feelings, beguiling her detractors, and charming all around her with little effort. Of the three Dazzlings, she was the most popular and the least feared. This would prove a fool's perception, as Sonata found a secondary talent in Healing. This seemed innocuous at first.
Aria struggled at first, but as she found purchase in the remedial courses filled with Earth Ponies, the physical magic of the earth itself called to her. She learned War magic, and what that meant was bolstering her physical abilities to an obscene degree. It didn't take long for the slender siren to start shattering boulders with a buck, heat a bucket of water to a boil and launch it out as a scalding geyser and win the National Equestrian College Polo Championship for the G.G.A.A.
Adagio faced greater challenges than either of her cohorts, for while she had the proper mind for the study of magic, she had little in the way of aptitude. Without a great store of magical power to tap, her hours of reading and notes and testing resulted in nothing more than theory. This meant that she succeeded at all of her assignments, no matter how advanced the calculations, but when it came to the practice of actual spellcasting, she would need to rely on somatic components to have any chance of passing. This was maddening to Adagio, as was watching Sonata and Aria succeed where she had no choice but to fail. Something had to be done.
Adagio learned much of the propaganda that the ponies taught to their younglings as well; tales of heroic ponies vanquishing monsters in all the lands that they traveled, which was surely code for colonization. By cutting through the drivel found in their history books, a deep-seated xenophobia could be found at the heart of the Holy Pony Empire. 
Whatever the ponies couldn't control they would slaughter. Whatever they could not slaughter, they would drive out, and whatever could not be driven out would be locked deep beneath the earth. 
This was halfway the case for their most powerful magics, which to Adagio's reckoning were by and large sealed within relics and left to collect dust in old libraries or secret dungeons. The use of artifacts and magically charged components was largely frowned upon, especially by the pompous unicorns at G.G.A.A.
To learn about things outside of the pony's imperialistic perspective, Adagio had to take measures into her own hands. Every once in a while, Adagio would sneak out of her dorm in search of a repository of knowledge spoken of only in school rumors. 

The campus was enormous on the outside and maddening to navigate on the inside. Apparently, the halls would subtly shift to accommodate the young minds within, but what would happen should one of those minds seek to find a space they had no business going?
In Adagio's case, the twisting halls of the academy led her down a few descending turns on a stairwell before spitting her out into the courtyard in the middle of the night. She wanted to scream, but then she heard a rustling in the hedge.
"I suggest you state your business now before I transmute your guts into snakes!" Adagio said to the darkness. The darkness let loose a laugh like sandpaper rattling around in a rock tumbler. 
"Kehkehkehhh...mine and your business are the sssaaaaame, young student! Our business is our oooown!" Came the voice. A wretched little pile of skin and bones with great pointed ears came hobbling out of the bush on one leg that was shorter than the other. Its stumpy tail scratched at the dirt just behind it. 
Ah, Adagio thought as the tension left her body. She had studied these before.
"And what manner of troglodyte are you, then?"
"Borky the groundskeeper, dear miiiissss!" Said the creature. Myyyy people are known as the Ghul, but the simpering dullarrrrds you call classmates would refer to us as Diamond Dooooogs..." The shivering creature bowed low, brandishing a rake with a haft that looked as if it had recently lost a fight with an upturned knee. "Geomancy is our magicaaaal contribution to thiiissss....glorious empire, or so they ssssay. Kehehehee..." Borky laughed like the uneven raking of dead leaves. Adagio knew for a fact that the Holy Pony Empire was in a cold war with the Diamond Dogs like they were with every other non-pony species, but the Diamond Dogs were especially difficult to eradicate due to their elemental understanding of the earth.
"Ourssss is a world of galloping thundeeer and precious gifts from the spiritsssss of dirt and stooone!" Borky said, placing his hands on the ground in reverence. " But poor Borky cannot d-d-diiiig with stumpy leg and dragging tail, and Borky cannot commune with spirits with such little magic. Borky exiled to surface to, to, to languish in servitude to thiiis....esteemed institutiooooon...!" He hissed. 
"If I wanted a lesson on the history of your wretched people I would do more than a single book report about them. I ask again; what is it that you want?" Adagio rolled her eyes. 
"Aaahhhh...but is it not h-h-history that you seeeeek? The history that the goodly pony folk would prefer to sssstay buried?"
"...and what would you know of such matters, Borky was it?"
"Aaahhh...now your ears quirk up. A good student you mussst be..."
"Save your flattery. I am missing my beauty sleep, and this errand is becoming less worth my effort by the second."
"I see...the ponies believe that they can hide the truth beneath the dirt, buuuut the Ghul are frieeeends with the dirt! Nothing can sssstay buried beneath the p-p-paws of the Ghul! Borky has found what you seek! Borky can help to tutor young strangeling, lead you t-t-to lost knowledge!" Borky said. In the pale moonlight, his eyes were like tiny silver flames.
"Lead on, creature, and I will follow." Adagio said. Borky made a big show of looking around, then scampered off to a hole in the earth hidden beneath a shrubbery beside the western wall. Adagio was loathe to soil her hooves or hair, but she found ample stretching room as the tunnel was wide and welcoming. The whispering darkness beneath the earth reminded Adagio of Home. 
"I must correct you, Borky. You call me strangeling, but I am very clearly of unicorn descent." The cackle of the canine creature just ahead of her rattled in Adagio's ears like a screeching whistle made of bone. 
"Borky may be wretched, but Borky isssss no foool..! You s-s-s-stink of the seeeeaaaa! Jussst as Borky smells of the earth." 
"You smell like you take the concept of bathing as a suggestion, but despite that, your nose is surprisingly keen. What do you intend to do with this information, Borky?" Adagio carried a canteen of water with her in all circumstances, and it always proved useful when she needed to slash through something lengthwise or penetrate it widthwise, or simply to wet her hair when she needed to on the road. She hummed a gentle tune that silently unscrewed the cap.
"What will Borky do? N-n-nothing! Borky hates ponies; hates hates haaaates them! Borky laughs because yellow one's disguise is is so flimsy! Whooo could imagiiine a unicorn whooose horn does not glow? Fools! This school is made of naught but foolish, foolish fools!" Borky declared. Adagio tutted to herself. She had spent months learning illusion spells and had still somehow forgotten an essential element of her disguise, and worse yet this hideous little trog had looked directly through it. 
Perfection required so many tiny micro-adjustments, Adagio wondered how she managed to pull it off each and every day.   	 
The cavern twisted and bent in odd angles, and for each step she cantered down into the earth, Adagio wondered if this was some dastardly trap that she would have to charm or tear her way out of. The gleeful chittering of the creature leading her didn't help, but eventually, the two of them found flagstones and smooth-hewn walls, and finally the comforting presence of iron bars and chains and locks. Ponies were always the most honest in their architecture it seemed; when they weren't building great phallic edifices, they were taking up real estate in the depths of the earth so that they may hide all things that could offend by not fitting their narrow worldview. 
The limping beast dragged its tail around a corner, and Adagio suddenly found herself passing through a creaking wooden door that seemed designed for something much taller than a pony. Inside was a treasure trove; books stacked high and haphazardly. Many were bound in flesh, and many more were locked in a variety of ways. Adagio heard a raking cough and exhale, then Borky the Diamond Dog was beside her, pushing forward a lectern upon which sat a book with edges of stone and the visage of a creature that she didn't recognize. It was carved out of thin slate and showed a flat face with a sharp chin and equally sharp cheeks beneath a vacant, stony gaze. A pair of pouty lips sat beneath, with a familiar curl at the corner.
"What manner of horrible creature is this?" Adagio said. She saw Borky spit into his paw and then make some kind of religious gesture over his chest. He seemed to gather himself for a second before he spoke the profane word in hushed tones.
"Heeewmaaan...vile demons that come from a blighteeed realm bereft of all magics or whiiimsy. Dastardly, parasitic scourges who only tread this reeealm in sssearch of power or profaaaane delightssss..." 
"I've never heard mention of these hewmahns. Are they rare?"
"Rarer than a breezie buuut moooore dangerous than a centaur. The owner of thaaaat tome was a human knooown as Somnambula. Sssssheeee wasss a creature of sssssuch profound vanity, that sheeee drained the verrrry essence from the creaturessss around her to maintaaaaain eternal youth." 
"Is that so? How fascinating...and am I to assume that this is her book of spells?"
"Yeeeesss...and a recooooord of the beingssss that inspired her in her massstery of the daaark artssss...Tell me, abyss walkeeeer, what do you know of the Loooords of Darknessss?"

Of this topic, Adagio knew just about nothing, but in the coming weeks of study, she would learn a great deal indeed. Somnambula proved to be adept at the very schools of magic that Adagio excelled at; that and much more. She was a historian of the most vicious scourges of Equestria's past. 
There was the centaur Tirek, who could strengthen his body and sorcerous powers by stealing the magic of powerful creatures, King Sombra, something between a unicorn and living darkness that pioneered both shadow and Illusion spells, powered by the fear of his victims, and Hydia; another more ancient human witch who released a living magical pollutant called The Smooze which ravaged Equestria nearly to its complete destruction. 
Through these accounts, Adagio noticed a theme; while many creatures in Equestria possessed magic, the wiliest and darkest of them all learned to steal the magic from others to become orders of magnitude more powerful. In exchange, however, it seemed that the process of taking foreign magics into one's body would cause irrevocable changes. In the case of some, like Tirek, it caused more rapid aging, but in beings with less magic, to begin with, it would corrode their minds until they were driven by naught by their basest urges. 
Adagio posited that this was the reason all changeling queens went mad with time.
Even the brilliant Somnambula was not immune to this; as the tome went on, her writings became more erratic and rambling, to the point that her final spell, a grand evocation that could transform massive arcane illusions into permanent conjurations was lost in the schizophrenic chicken scratch of the last few pages.
Through all the madness of the tome, Adagio found a kindred spirit in the ancient human witch. Adagio was naturally gifted at the art of Transmutation, and so she could fill the gaps in Somnambula's knowledge. She could not just change the way that the world was perceived, but change the very nature of the elements around her, albeit temporarily. Unfortunately, she depended on Sonata and Aria's magic when she wanted to accomplish more than the most basic of spells. 
Once Adagio gained a grasp on the spells of Somnambula, she began to truly excel. Despite her handicap, Adagio continued along her relentless academic pace but there was always the nagging thought in the back of her head that she could never truly compete without gaining a power of her own. She learned the changeling trick to drawing magic from emotion, and it came in handy once in a while, but she dared not use it as a crutch, lest her own mind begin to corrode. 
Adagio was far too clever to let foul pony magics corrupt her.
All of the particularly lecherous tomes she found buried beneath the history and spells, however, she would tuck into with great interest. But that is another story. 

Because they shared everything, Adagio was more than happy to spread her new bounty of esoterica with Aria and Sonata, and so each of them was able to learn things that the other students simply could not, and this was an advantage that they would all ride to the top of their classes. Well, two of them did, anyway. 
A day came when Adagio asked Borky a simple question.
"What exactly do you seek to gain by sharing this knowledge? More power of your own? Blackmail material?" Adagio had wheeled on Borky suddenly, and he had yipped and stumbled into a pile of forbidden texts before dragging himself to an uneven stance.
"No, no, no abyss walker! Borky issss not in the business of dastardly deedssss! What Borky wishes simply issss for an outsideeeer to come and put those judgementaaaaal, smarmy poniessss in their placeeee! If the abyss walker can do thissss, Borky isss satisfied, hehehehee!"
"Come now, Borky. As satisfying as it is to see and taste the salty seething of these pathetic creatures, there must be something that you want. A little quid pro quo? I hate to leave a debt unpaid." At that, the diamond dog searched the dusty floor for an answer, then began to pace, and scratch at the stones. His paws grabbed onto the sides of his head and pressed in as if he feared it may split wide open until he finally seemed to have a cogent thought.
"Borky issss exiled from the treasuressss of the earth...but the treasuressss of the sea, the mysteriesss of the plaaaace that the abyss walker callssss 'Home', now these are thingssss that Borky should like to diiiig into. When youuuu groooow too big for thissss wretched preschool...would you takeeee Borky to this 'Home' and let him explooooore...?" 
"...that could very well be arranged, Borky." Adagio said with a genuine smile. Borky tried to hide his enthusiasm, but Adagio could taste the gleeful dance he was doing in his mind. 
"A gift! A gift for the kindly abyss walkeeeer! Borky will obtain for you and yours a gift befitting your majesssssty and yoooour magnanimity! Ssssomething that wiiiill help you in your quessst for power!" For a moment, Adagio heard Borky's yellowed nails clacking against the cobblestones behind her and around a corner, but then he came back, presenting a box of dark wood and clear marks in the dust where a chain would have wrapped around it.
"Biiiig ssssstroooong magic! Jusssst what you neeed! Taaake care with thiiiis..." Borky said. Adagio opened the case and her eyes lit up. She recognized what was inside.

For the remainder of her terms at the G.G.A.A., Adagio Dazzle didn't so much rise through the ranks as created a rank of her own that the unicorns of the school tried and failed constantly to enter. She wasn't the queen bee of the school, but she was very uncontestedly the queen bitch, and she honestly preferred it that way.
Some ponies glared with jealousy and others with undeniable attraction, but it was all a far cry from the silent fear of her old village. And yet, in Adagio's weakest of moments, she would go to the bath in her dorm and fill it near to the brim before diving under and closing her eyes. This was the closest she could come to Home, which she missed every single day. 
Sonata was a social butterfly in this time, learning all the sinful little secrets of the student body and some of the staff. She trusted Adagio with everything, and so she couldn't seem to help but blab at her about the melody she was trying to perfect, or the hot gossip of the week, or her recent conquests, and once, twice, or perhaps ten times, her bunk squeaked and mewled well into the night, or until Aria bucked a hole in it. Sonata could turn the head of anyone at the G.G.A.A. and get precisely what she wanted without needing to lift a hoof. In the rare circumstances that she did need to try, she solved her impasses with affection and failing that, with some of the most spine-rattling cruelty that Adagio had yet seen. 
Aria's time was an up and down affair. She was a dark horse jock of the school; constantly skipping classes and getting into trouble, but coddled by the alumni for her excellent performance on the field. If Sonata was a shield that turned the most vicious and perverse eyes away from Adagio, Aria was like a warhammer in a sword sheath. Whenever she'd be accosted by less savory students for favors of a licentious variety, Aria always managed to crack a rib or two before the sentence could be finished. All Aria needed was some help with her advanced magic studies, and perhaps some cheat answers for upcoming exams, and she was perfectly content in spite of her grumbling.
Time marched on in that lumbering, sneaky way it does, and Adagio finally found herself at a task that none of her cleverness could surmount. Her junior year was nearing its end, and that meant finals. At the G.G.A.A., 'Final Exams' was code for 'Obey the whims of the (predominantly unicorn) head instructors or risk expulsion'. 
In the first semester, this had come in the form of a Marathon Quiz of Equestrian 'History' that had to be filled out using marks written in magic. This was difficult for most besides the unicorns, and just about impossible for Earth Ponies, yet the Dazzlings managed to cheat their way through. The second year featured a lengthy game of Simon Says, but with magic, and Simon was an instructor displaying high-level evocations. This was harder to fake, but with the clever use of somatic components, and a bit of emotion draining magic as a backup, the Dazzlings had pulled through. 
This time around, the instructors truly had it out for Adagio and her cohorts, and she knew this well. As the Dazzlings sat in the main hall waiting, the air was abuzz with speculation.
"What kinda game are they gonna throw at us this time, 'dagi?" Sonata hummed. She held up a hoof as someone tried to pass her a little written note with a heart on it.
"It doesn't matter. We'll dance our way through it with panache and grace, just like we always have." Adagio said. She happened to be combing her hair while scanning through the answers of her last test. She had fallen just a bit below the curve, and this was a crime against the world.
"Whatever it is, I wish these pompous asses would just get on with it so I can get to practice." Aria snapped.
"No, Aria, they're ponies! The cafeteria lady is a donkey, remember?" Sonata chided.
"Go back to sleep, Sonata." Aria said. "I just want them to hurry it up."
"Yeah! I wanna go to the mess hall already! It's Taco Tue--" Sonata started excitedly, but Adagio clapped a hoof over her mouth.
"We know what day it is, now hush. They're starting."
The sconces dimmed and the chatter in the main hall came to a ponderous stop as Headmistress Starshine; a tyrannical unicorn crone with a faded multicolored mane took the podium. She was flanked by a parade of teachers and staff, each of which Adagio had learned to despise in their own special ways.
"Welcome, my little ponies, to the end of the semester! We know that you all have much study and gallivanting about to get back to, so we shall make this announcement quickly. The collegiate instructors and I have finished our deliberation over your final exam. You are all to create your own unique spells to display before the alumni and student body alike, or present an improvement upon an existing one! You must present on your own, you may not rely on any powerful artifacts! You must use your own magical aptitude for this task. I hear you all grumbling, but I assure you, this is the only fair and equal way to judge your advancement as sorcerers!" 
"Oh, bullshit! Anybody with half a brain can see this is rigged for the unicorns!" Aria said.
"And whaddya mean we can't perform together!? That's super unfair!" Sonata said. Adagio stared at her lap and felt the dread creeping up her back.
"We look forward to all of your presentations at the end of the term! For those of you that somehow still manage to come late to classes, that's one month from today! Good luck everypony, and may you find the magic in you!" The applause was limp-wristed from all but the unicorns on campus. The alumni disappeared in a swirl of glittering rainbow lights, save for groundskeeper Borky who waddled off stage, hopped deftly over the outstretched hoof of a student, and then got back to work. Borky passed the Dazzlings by with a knowing smile to Adagio. 
Adagio straightened her back and saw Aria and Sonata looking to her for a plan. They both shrank back a bit as Adagio's face split in one of the most sadistic grins of her life. They had their ace in the hole; all they needed was to figure out their spells, and Adagio could do the rest. 

For all its lush gardens, towering art installations, and impeccably gaudy architecture, Canterlot was in no way the utopia that the ponies pretended it was. Every collection of people has its unsavory underbelly, and Adagio had little trouble finding Canterlot's more seedy locales. She, Aria, and Sonata scouted around to find the dingy holes of Canterlot; hidden bordellos, and secluded smoking rooms and taverns on the edges of town. They found the most quarrelsome and wicked of ponies in these places, giving their bits over to quell their cravings. It was a bubbling stew of greed, anger, envy, and sweet, delicious fear.
The gift that Borky had given to Adagio was glittering and beautiful and came in a set of three. In an age long past, Tirek had attempted to rise from the bowels of Tartarus by sending phantasmal messages to the weak-minded ponies above, and a cult had started in his name. Apparently, his plan was to gift boons to mortal ponies in exchange for them draining the magical powers of other creatures to send down to him, and therefore afford him the strength to break free of his cage. This hadn't worked, because magical creatures are prone to the corrupting effects of dark magic, and so when they put on the artifacts that Tirek had created to collect this power, the ponies instead went mad with it and toured on a brief and calamitous run across Equestria before being taken down. 
The amulets that the Dazzlings now wore were the very same that had driven those ponies mad. They were rubies of considerable size on jet black leather chokers, and they contained Tirek's ability to siphon magic from creatures of arcane origin. Even better, they served as a massive repository of that magic, with each morsel of power contributing toward the greater pool. When Adagio and the other two put them on, they found that their personal magic stores were suddenly connected, and they could share their power amongst each other. 
As Borky said, these artifacts were the perfect tool. Adagio had spent much of her off time figuring out how to ward herself and Aria and Sonata from the mania that could come with wearing them. Now was the time to put them to use.
For every night left in the semester, the Dazzlings visited the spiciest cesspools of scum and villainy that Equestria had to offer, sat in a secluded place, and subtly drank of the ponies there. They would come back over and over again, taking a tiny bit each time so as not to be noticed, but building up a store of arcane might that they would tap during the finals. 
This was exhausting work, but they each really put their heads together and their backs into the effort of creating their own original thesis for finals, and by the time the day of the presentation came, they were beyond prepared. Before they headed out, Adagio brought them in for a huddle in their dorm.

"Girls, I'm not going to lie to you; this is going to be the most difficult day we've faced in this circus of a school. In spite of that, I know that we're all going to succeed with flying colors, because we have something that the other students simply don't; something I have brought you and that you two have built up over time."
"Access to a bunch of forbidden spells that our teachers would banish us to the moon for having if they knew?" Aria snarked.
"A big pile of really old, reeeeally weird porno in a box in your closet?" Sonata wondered.
"No! Well, yes, but not the point, very far away from the point! What we have, girls, is unity. For all the bragging and the posturing, it seems that most of the student body here never bothered to read the runes on the arch at the gates. 'Power Through Unity.', is what they say, by the way, Sonata. I knew you were going to ask. That unity is what truly sets us above all the rabble. We move as one. We strike as one. We win as one. Ponies have mistaken us for sisters since the day we arrived, and you know what? They're right. If we've proved anything over the course of three semesters, it's that The Dazzlings truly are siblings, and nothing in this dry, miserable plane could ever break us apart. And so, even though I know incontrovertibly that we will succeed today, I just want you to know that I'm proud of us for all we've achieved, and the power that we have siphoned from these needlessly confusing halls." The Dazzling's foreheads touched and they felt their connection through the amulet. A low hum, a practiced glow of the horn, and Adagio caused the amulets to vanish from sight both normal and arcane. 
"Now, let's go and show this miserable little school house what we're made of!" Adagio said. Sonata and Aria cheered and even hugged each other before Aria pushed her affectionate sibling off. 
The Dazzlings strutted down the halls in formation as they had done countless times before, and came to the main hall just in time for the exams to start.  A panel of judges led by Starshine herself presided over the test, and one by one, the student body showed off what they had learned. It was clear that many struggled with this assignment. 
The pegasi displayed feats of fine elemental manipulation, creating localized weather patterns; startling gouts of flame, swirling winds, and buffeting hail in various shapes. The judges were harsh but fair-ish on them. 
The earth ponies had it the hardest, of course. Many of them came bedecked with various somatic components, which when taken together could emulate an approximation of a unicorn's power. Great blooming acts of nature magic wowed the assembly, and feats of magically enhanced, boulder-crushing strength and great speed were all displayed. The judges were far crueler to the earth ponies, and in the face of their rising magical power, even the staunchest of unicorns began to buckle under their own prejudice.
The unicorns all essentially boiled down to shows of force. Many of their works were especially flamboyant displays of magical fireworks, but there was also a show of telekinesis that involved manipulating a round of a polo game with mannequins. There was also some trite transmutation, one spectacularly failed gender-swap, and quite a few variations on the gold standard arcane bolts spell, better known as magic missile. Almost all of them passed with flying colors. 
In the midst of this arcane chaos, the Dazzlings were brought up, one by one. 

Aria was first to take the stage, and for all the strength in her posture as an earth pony, it was clear that her legs were shaking by the soft clattering of her horseshoes on the floor. She had a boulder balanced atop her flanks as she took the stage, and a bucket of water. 
"M-M-Mares and colts of the G.G.A.A.! I...I present to you, my very own composition! A c-c-combination of transmutation and war magic!" Aria said, reading from the cue card in her hoof.  "Without...further ado? Th-This is 'Aria's Slaughtering Spiral'!" Aria then drew on the power of the amulet. She gave her legs enough of a boost to buck the boulder, which was slightly taller than she was, up to the ridiculously high vaulted ceiling of the main hall, and as it fell, she took to standing on her back hooves. The crowd watched in horror as the boulder descended, surely aiming to crush a few students once it hit the bleachers, but Aria channeled magic into her front hooves, and the water in her bucket formed a tight, swirling orb that began to roar like a miniature whirlpool. Steam floated off the orb as Aria pushed in on it, spinning it faster and faster. Then, when the boulder hit terminal velocity, Aria gave a mighty leap off the stage and outstretched the hoof that was holding the orb. There were gasps and screams as a sound like a mountain detonating shook the hall. A great hideous hissing filled the room, along with a bank of fog, but as it was ushered away by a breezy spell, Aria was seen trotting back to the stage, and the boulder was nothing but a few wet pebbles bouncing harmlessly at the hooves of the students. 
Aria looked around nervously, saw Adagio's bouncing head in the audience, and bowed her own head. The applause was immediate and thunderous. The main hall filled with the stamping hooves and cheers of the student body, and literally shook as the earth ponies got rowdier than anycreature else. 
The judges were harsh of course, but Aria achieved a slightly above average grade, especially since it was common knowledge that evocations like that were nowhere near the domain of earth ponies. 
The hug between Aria and Sonata went on long because Aria was sobbing silently into Sonata's neck, but she had to be pulled away by Adagio as Sonata was called up.

The whole main hall opened up with hoots and wolf whistles and stamping the second Sonata started strutting her way up the center aisle. A few roses flew her way, but Sonata was focused. Since she had been graced with the most magical power out of the three dazzlings, she didn't really need the amulet to succeed here, but despite all the rumors, Sonata was no fool. Given the means to maximize her power, Sonata could perform miracles.
Sonata took the edge of the stage and clapped her hooves. A pair of admirers wheeled a large and covered box onto the stage with great difficulty, then a smaller barrel that also had a tarp over it. Sonata opened her mouth to speak, but the crowd roared louder, so she waited. The cheering only went on, and so Sonata shrugged and stepped over to the box. 
The box reacted with a roar so fearsome that the whole of the hall silenced. Sonata giggled and pulled the tarp. Beneath, shackled in an iron cage was a fearsome beast with the body of a feral lion, the wings of a bat, and the tail of a scorpion. It snarled its fury at the audience, but could not move enough to swipe at its captor as she pulled up the tarp on the stout barrel, revealing the hilts of various tools of war. 
Sonata sang a light and airy tune, and the Manticore paused like a child that had been told firmly to sit quietly. Sonata clapped, and her admirers, with shaking knees, undid the bolts holding the cage together. Gasps tore through the audience as the walls came down, but the beast was still. There was a smattering of uncomfortable applause.
"Well, Miss Sonata Dusk, that is a rather impressive enchantment, but I don't see how this is an improvement on an old formula." Said a snide unicorn teacher. Sonata's smile dropped, and she turned to the panel of judges with incredulity for a moment, before smiling again, even sweeter.
"Oh, for realsies? You think this is my spell? Don't be silly~!" Sonata said. Adagio had only seen her smile like that a few times before. It was the cold smile of someone who is used to being underestimated. 
During this interruption, Sonata's cohorts had obscured the manticore with a wide canvas tent, then scuttled off the stage as swiftly as possible. Sonata rolled her shoulders, then perused the collection of weapons as if she were choosing a favorite spatula for flipping eggs. After a moment, she shrugged and dragged the barrel across the floor and into the tent. 
For an eternity of nervous looks in the audience, there was nothing. And then a horrendous squishing crack, followed by the howl of a desperate beast, which ceased abruptly. The student body was left to quietly speculate as they heard the sounds of breaking bones and tearing flesh against the jaunty tune that Sonata was humming. A pool of blood seeped slowly from beneath the tent, and Adagio found it truly, wickedly hilarious that none of this was against the rules of the campus. As a matter of fact, experimentation on animals was welcome as long as a janitor or groundskeeper signed off on it, and Borky was already at the base of the stage with a mop and bucket. 
"Miss...Miss Sonata, this is very unorthodox!" said Headmistress Starshine, panic barely concealed beneath her audacity.
"Just a secooooond~!" Sonata sang. There were a few more torturous noises of metal destroying flesh, and finally, Sonata strolled out of the tent, wiping blood from her face with a handkerchief. That didn't account for the blood on the rest of her outfit, but she cared little. Sonata clapped, and her cohorts, both female unicorns, lit their horns and cast a minor barrier over the front row. 
"Fillies and Gentlecoats, It's like a total honor to present to you; Sonata's Barbarous Ballet! Music!" A quartet from the Bard's Hall, where Sonata spent most of her time, began a stirring, elegant waltz. Sonata struck the first position of remedial ballet, then the tent collapsed backward to unveil a sight that would continue to haunt Adagio's nightmares until her final days.
The manticore had been mangled to such a severe degree that it was hardly recognizable anymore. Through the oozing blood and the shattered limbs, Adagio could see that Sonata had torn into the beast with care and near surgical precision. The show was just beginning. 
Sonata began to dance with grace and salacious style to the music, and the mutilated manticore followed her every move with a quivering, pained gait. Adagio could see from where she sat that its eyes were rolling and wincing in agony as it posed and spun and pranced, but it could not cry out, nor could it stop. Worse yet, with every kick, spin, and gesture, a bloodied piece of flesh slipped free from the beast and splattered somewhere else.
Many students and some faculty fainted in horror, and many more had to excuse themselves to go be sick in the hall as the dance wore on and on with  Sonata's sparkling smile and beautiful curves cantering and cavorting before the quivering beast. 
By the final pose, the top layer of skin and muscle had peeled off, revealing a veiny skeleton with blood still pumping through it. Its exposed lungs fluttered with agonized breaths, its heart shaking like a hanging apple tugged by the wind as it stood stock still. 
Blood and tossed gore slid down the merciful barricade put up by Sonata's goons as she held that pose, then clapped her hooves. A sound like falling rain filled the room, and every drop of gore, gristle, and blood took on a bright blue glow, then flew through the air and back to the living cadaver. The manticore reassembled in an instant then slumped to the floor. 
Sonata went to the beast then, as if to stroke its mane, but it ran yowling away from her in absolute terror and hid, quivering in a corner of the hall.
"Uhm...ta-daaaa~?" Sonata said, putting up jazz hooves. What remained of the audience clapped in slow astonishment. 
Sonata was given an overwhelmingly positive grade, and then a brief recess was called so that everyone could collect themselves and recover. 
Sonata sat back down and then braced her leg for a bro-hoof, but Aria was too caught up staring at her in horror. 
"Sonata...what the fuck was that!?" Aria said, finally.
"What? I wanted my spell to be original!"
"Oh, well, you definitely accomplished that." Adagio said, trying to manicure her hoof with a shaking file. Sonata looked around at the ponies scooching away from her on the bleachers.
"What? ...What? I thought it was pretty impressive!" 
"Yes, that is definitely a word to describe it. Please never do that in front of me again, Sonata." Adagio said. 
"Well I thought it was good..." Sonata pouted, crossing her arms. 

Adagio could feel the tension crackling through the air as she took the stage. It still smelled a bit like carnage, but that was covered up by the taste of envy and fear coming from the audience. She would show them all. Adagio needed no props or preparation. She had everything she needed. Well, almost. 
"Well, Miss Adagio? We're all waiting." The headmistress smirked. 
"Yes, yes, no need to rush perfection." Adagio waved a hoof at the old mare. The student body murmured and many chuckled. The headmistress levitated a stamp with a large 'F' on it in preparation. The horrible crone genuinely thought that Adagio would fail simply because she had little in the way of magic. Borky was right. "First, I'll need a volunteer! Could I request the presence of our beloved groundskeeper on the stage~?" Adagio said. 
Adagio's tutor and only friend on this horrid campus outside the Dazzlings limped quickly to stand beside her. He looked up to her with a nervous curiosity in his eyes, but Adagio simply smiled, and to even her own surprise; it was genuine. 
"You're not gonna torture him too, are ya?"
"Bah, who cares, he's just a diamond dog!" The student body mocked and laughed and sneered. A teacher caught a tossed tomato in a magical field before it could land. 
Adagio moved to stand behind Borky, and she made sure to let her horn glow with a bright purple light.
"Adagio's DazzleVision." The sound of a tinkling piano and a thumping beat crept into the hall from nowhere at all. Adagio raised a hoof to the back of Borky's head, then raised the other to the ceiling. A shimmering, shuddering spectacle leaked into the main hall from parts unknown. The stone walls buckled inward and thickened and grew rougher, then diamonds, rubies, emeralds, and every possible gem in the world blossomed from the stone like spring flowers blooming to the beat of the drums. The main hall seemed to have been transported far beneath the earth to a place filled with pillars of precious stones. The glowing silhouettes of diamond dogs wandered about, unaware. 
Adagio saw tears rolling down her tutor's face. "Boooorky'ssss....home...!" He whimpered.
The gems pulled free of the phantasmal terrain, then rained over the audience in a slow and glittering shower. The students plucked them from the air, turned them over...and found that they were real. 
As the audience gasped and scrambled to catch as many precious gems as possible, Adagio stepped around Borky and gestured for him to crouch down. That was the signal. The other two Dazzlings scooted out of the audience and stood on either side of the stage; out of dodge. 
Adagio closed her eyes, and as the music swelled and the spectacle enraptured the audience, Adagio began to Drink. The students and faculty bickered amongst themselves over the conjured gems. Their greed and hatred and envy were a savory buffet of sin. The connection between the Dazzlings' amulets spread the magical power between them evenly as Adagio fed. She had never felt such enchanting potency in her life. Her eyes rolled back. It was intoxicating. 
Adagio caught herself, and focusing outward, she brought to life a vision of Home. The main hall turned cold and stygian, but it was soon lit by glowing coral, floating jellyfish, and the glittering of treasures within a sunken ship. Adagio had begun to float now, and she saw Borky's eyes illuminated by the display. 
"This is my home, Borky. At least, the Home that I know. Dazzling, isn't it?" Adagio said. Her voice was melodic and echoing and almost unfamiliar. Borky's crooked, exuberant grin was his only answer. There were no words. How could there be? 
"Alright, we're all very impressed, Adagio. Now could you please turn off your enchantment before the student body tears itself apart!?" The headmistress swiped some golden coins and gems from the judges' table and gestured at the crowd. Blows were being thrown over the bounty of conjured treasure, ponies were arguing and pushing and scrambling. Chaos was beginning to take the main hall. 
Their fury filled Adagio's mouth and surged down her throat as a geyser. The Dazzlings lifted higher into the air and began to glow.
"And why should I do that? Isn't this a bit more honest than the airs you have them put on? Is this not simply what you ponies do when all the privilege and the pomp is stripped away? Scrambling for every little ounce of money and power you can get your grimy little hooves on!? You're all pathetic!" Adagio declared. The main hall was becoming a riot. 
Power. More and more power surged into the amulet. 
The Dazzlings were shrouded in a blinding purple light, then their forms unfolded through an abyssal curtain of stars against the night sky. Their eyes glowed red, and their bodies twisted and shifted.
The music grew louder. Adagio began to overflow. 
A long equine snout appeared, filled with shark teeth. Hooves changed to fins and back legs became trailing, elegant fish tails with glittering fins. Their scales returned with a lustrous shine, and from their heads to their backs rose resplendent dorsal fins.
The reins of the spell slipped from Adagio's grasp. As the music swelled further, dreams were blinking into existence in the audience. Adagio saw dark jungles teeming with exotic life, she saw a lifetime collection of books and an equally vast spread of gourmet desserts, wizard towers, observatories, and cozy cottages all materializing and mashing together. 	
Adagio's DazzleVision was granting the wishes and vices of the whole staff and student body, and as the beat played on she saw ever more salacious sites. She saw apparitions of perfect mare and coltfriends appear cooing in laps. She saw interracial concubines from across Equestria dance and flirt. She saw torture, and murder and worse sights than that. The riot tried to shift into a stampede, but everyone in the hall was spellbound. The G.G.A.A. was helpless before Adagio's power.
"SHUT IT DOWN!" Screamed the headmistress, with every once of magic and authority still within her withered bones, and Adagio snapped free of her own spell. The phantasmagoria twitched and evaporated into a shower of purple sparks, leaving Adagio, Aria and Sonata to float in the air above the main hall, resplendent in their new forms. Adagio touched her collarbone and found that the amulet had embedded itself within her flesh. There was no going back, now.
The rest was a blur of panic and fury. Dozens of directions and shouted orders carried through the hall, and then a figurative rainstorm of offensive spells came for the Dazzlings. The only thing Adagio could focus on besides keeping herself and her sisters alive was the raspy screams of Borky down below on the stage. The wretched ponies had gotten him in their grip, and they were wielding spell and weapon to try and hold him down. In his final moments, Borky was shouting at Adagio.
"Go, abyss walkeeeer! You aaaaare too biiig for thisssss place noooow! Go and take the staaaaage of the woooorld! GOOOO!" Borky wailed. Those were his very last words before the mob silenced him forever. 
Adagio had never felt a rage quite like this before or since. Aria bulldozed through the ceiling while Sonata swiftly charmed any ponies who came near to turn on their fellows. Escape would never be enough thanks for this institution.
Adagio turned, and the Dazzlings turned with her.
As one, they released a melodic banshee screech that shook the firmament beneath Gusty the Great's Arcane Academy, a song that vibrated the air so swiftly and fiercely for so long that by the time they finished, the school and all of its alumni were naught but a pulverized disk of ground gravel at the edge of Canterlot.
Now was the time for escape, as Adagio spied and tasted a black and pink-haired powerhouse surging toward her through the air. Princess Glitter Punch, the current empress of Equestria was many things; brash, arrogant, and disobedient to her viziers, but Adagio knew that she would defend Canterlot with greater potency and ferocity than the army of the empire, and so the Dazzlings fled to the sea. Beneath the waves was the only place they could be safe. 

There were precious few survivors of that performance, but those that did come crying from the rubble would call it an abomination of dark magic. A cursed trio of never before seen terrors had corrupted a school full of the greatest minds in Equestria and gobbled up their power like the dark Lord Tirek had ages ago. A group of nightmares made flesh. 
Adagio would note in later years as this event passed into legend that no mention was made of the behavior of those students before and during the spell, nor their dark desires made manifest. It's funny how ponies always find a way to absolve themselves of sin in retrospect. 
Old ponish is a convoluted and ridiculous language, but the term that was coined in it for the Dazzlings was terribly accurate. 
"Si-Ruh-En." Was the name. Si translated to 'Sing or Scream', Ruh meant 'Abyss', and En meant 'Death' or 'Consume' when used as a verb. Put together, the words spelled "Siren." Or; "The Singing Abyss that Devours". 
To the cold, comforting waters of Home the Dazzlings fled. While they could not return to their village, the sea was ever their ally, and no ponies could ever travel deep enough to catch them. Once the heat died down, all that was left was for the Dazzlings to experiment and find the extent of their power. The following generations would be an age of growth for the Dazzlings and one of chaos for Equestria. 





Scootaloo and Buck were shaking hands in a very sportsmanlike way. Scootaloo had spent the last several minutes dipping and dancing nimbly around one side of the ping pong table, and Buck had made a valiant effort of flailing about in a form similar to a drunken music festival-goer with a paddle instead of a glowstick. He had scored three points to Scootaloo's seven, and now he was chuckling and laughing while Scootaloo trashed talked him.
"Dude, you suck and ping-pong. Why're you smiling?" Scoots said, wiping her brow.
"Because it was fun!" Buck panted. "Who's got next? 'dagio?" 
"You're being awfully nonchalant considering what I just told you." Adagio said.
"No I wasn't, because I wasn't paying attention!" Scoots bragged, hooking a thumb at herself. Buck was doing some rudimentary stretches after the exertion. 
"What I mostly heard was the fact that your school didn't have a counselor; one, also, what in the holy fucking mother of hell was going on with Sonata? Like, holy shit, that was grisly!" Buck said.
"That's...yes, well, that was very disturbing, certainly, but I was talking about what happened after that?" Adagio said from the corner she was leaning in. She honestly wondered what was going through Buck's head, and why he hadn't decided to run yet. 	
"Oh, well, your spell sounded impossible, even for magic, so kudos for that. It also sounded a little like what you were doing at the Battle of the Bands. Were you going to cast that spell on us? Was that the plan?" Buck said. Now Adagio tasted fear, but it was under the flagging adrenaline of the game, and Buck's bubbling curiosity.
"Hm? Oh no, there wasn't nearly enough magic among all of you for something like that. We were just collecting as much power as possible for what would come next, but we were foiled."
"I see, I see. Well I'm glad for that." Buck said. He leaned next to Adagio and smiled.
"You're glad that we were thwarted by those horrible Rainbooms? What for?" Adagio snarled. Buck took her hand and laid his head on her shoulder. She shuddered. His eyes were closed.
"Because I'd probably be brain dead right now, or worse. And then I'd never have met you in person." Buck sighed. He kissed her shoulder and Adagio felt like she was burning on a cross. 
"Oooooh~! Blushy blushy! Lookit her, Buck, lookit her!" Scoots teased, but Buck didn't stir. He tasted of contentment and affection. Adagio wanted to put down roots in this spot and never leave it, but then she remembered to be offended.
"Hush. I'm taking the next round. I'll restore your honor, Buck! No need to thank me." Adagio sprung off the wall, causing Buck to nearly fall over as her hand left his. She snatched his paddle while she was at it, swapping it with her hat in his hands. Adagio took a practiced stance on her end of the table, and Scootaloo raised an eyebrow.
"Uh...are you sure about that? You don't seem like the sporty type, Adagio. In fact I'm pretty sure I've never seen you run, like ever!" Scootaloo said. Adagio ignored her and lifted the ball.
"I'll take the first serve." With a bit of the magic that Buck had fucked into her earlier, Adagio effortlessly filled the ball with glowing pink energy. It floated off her hand and chimed softly in mid-air like a hanging bell. 
"Wooooahh..." Scoots watched in awe.
"Uh...'dagio? What're you doin' there?" Buck said.
"You may want to take a seat, Buck." Adagio said. She reared back and smacked the ball, making it smash down against the board, rebound and whiz just far off enough to not shoot through Scoot's head. It instead bounced off the wall and then came to a stop in the floor corner. Adagio scooped it up and returned to her side of the field. 
"That's one." Adagio laughed and primed another serve.

Buck was genuinely shocked. Adagio was having fun. Good, mostly honest fun, and he hadn't expected that. He had expected to be a nervous wreck and ruin the whole date with his stammering, but that hadn't happened either. Instead, he was sitting in an arcade watching a surprisingly close ping pong match between Scoots and Adagio, and Adagio was laughing and rallying and looking to all the world like a normal if shockingly beautiful woman having a day on the boardwalk. 
Every time Adagio lunged and her ass wiggled, Buck felt himself wondering if she'd let him take her to the dressing rooms a second time. There'd be time for that later; Buck had promised to spoil her after the date, and he had some very specific plans for his performance. She was going to fall to fucking pieces, he was sure of it, and he would savor every second of it. He subtly placed Adagio's hat over his crotch to cover his embarrassment. He hoped he was hiding his fear well.
Buck had expected some dark and sympathetic story from Adagio about how she had been betrayed or abused or dragged through the mud or some other villain origin story, but that's not what he heard. What Buck heard was the story of a brilliant, ambitious woman who wanted only to excel, only to find the world putting every possible obstacle in her way.
Buck could understand that--not the brilliant part, but the want to be greater, and the knowledge that the world would rather you didn't succeed. It was frightening, sure, but understandable. And if it was understandable, Buck didn't need to be afraid. Under all the dark magic, Adagio was just a person who'd had it rough, just like him.
She hadn't meant to kill those ponies, he could tell. She also wasn't sorry about it.
The final score was six on four. Adagio's win. Both of the women had heaving chests and flushed faces and Buck thought idly that it would be nice if there were blinds in this ping pong room, but he let it pass. 
Buck saw Adagio turn to him with a wanting look, and so he clapped, then stood and placed her hat back on her head.
"There now, I've defended your honor against this knave!" Adagio smiled and curtsied.
"Oh, my hero." Buck said, kissing her hand. "Where to next?"
"I think I'd like us to make our way to the main event. Is the Aquarium far from this spot?"
"I mean, it's on the other side of the Boardwalk, but we can take a back path so we don't get caught in the foot traffic."
"Hey, I almost won! Where's my attention!?" Scoots pouted, shoving her ping pong paddle in her pocket so she could cross her arms. Adagio and Buck shared a glance, then they both kissed Scoots on either side of her head. 
"Shall we?" Buck said. He offered Adagio his arm.
"Oh, we shall." Adagio took his arm and they wandered off, and after coming out of her blush, Scoots followed along.





The Dazzlings knew that destroying the G.G.A.A. meant there would be bounties on their heads, and so they would have to further disguise themselves if they wished to walk among ponies again. Luckily for the land dwellers of Equestria, the sirens had just about taken in their fill of ponies during their academy days and were now content to terrorize what would later become the Celestial Sea. 
Adagio, Aria, and Sonata had transformed into mighty new creatures with incredible powers, and so naturally they decided to test the extent of those powers. 
They knew the properties of their amulets and how they could store a great reservoir of power, but there were drawbacks as well. For one, they were always thirsty. 
If the Dazzlings failed to feed on magic for a scant number of days, they would begin to wither up like an unwatered ficus. Worse, they could not separate and maintain their powers. The Dazzlings would have to keep surfacing to drink any creature that happened to be unlucky enough to be on a ship or by the shoreline nearby. 
A day came when a ship from the royal equestrian navy attempted to hunt them down, and this had come at a time when they were weakened from other battles, so the sirens fled in three different directions. 
Without her sisters nearby, Adagio's magic would leak out of her at three times the rate of a normal magical creature, and that left her even thirstier than normal. She had to resort to terrorizing hapless sailors and leaving them to thoughtlessly drift into strange tides. 
The trade-off, naturally was that Adagio could have a competitive amount of magic in her at any given time, especially when flanked by her sisters, and they therefore became a monstrous force of destruction over the ocean. Seafaring adventurers and pirates and plunderers would track them down to claim their bounty, and each of them washed back up on shore with their ship reduced to flinders and their minds reduced to gibbering vegetation. The spoils of these battles were great, and so the Dazzlings would rotate from hideout to hideout in order to store away the gains. 
It was about this time that the siren's reputation began to really pick up speed, but Adagio knew that nothing in or over the sea could challenge them, and even if it could, nothing could chase them if they ran. They were the scourge of the eastern seas, and all of Equestria and beyond knew their names. 

One day the Dazzlings were lounging in the shallows of one of their hideouts when Adagio sensed emotion near the underwater entrance. It was sweet, delectable fear, naturally, but also hope and determination. An odd taste for a random fish to have, certainly, so Adagio investigated and found a small, near starving member of her own species; a hippocampus named Novo. 
Novo claimed that the hippocampus were dying. The world had moved on without them as they hid in the sweet embrace of Home, and now due to inbreeding and stagnancy, the kingdom was falling to ruin. If something wasn't done, their people would be no more. 
Aria rebuked the young Novo, claiming that the hippocampus had banished them, and would banish her as well for leaving, so they could all wither away. 
Sonata put a meal together for Novo of kelp and crustacean and fish. There was no reason that she herself should starve.
Adagio came to a snap decision.
"We're going to help them." Adagio commanded. 
"What!? But why? Those superstitious idiots threw us out! They don't care about us, so why should we care about them?" Aria grumbled.
"Our species has come to a point in its history where it has to adapt or die, and I would frankly prefer it if we didn't allow them to kill themselves if there's a choice in the matter."
"Wow, Adagio! That's...uh..." Sonata said.
"Kind?" Novo tried.
"Who asked you!? They're all weak and pathetic. Why not let them die?" Aria said.
"Because, Aria, we get to save them. And if we save them, they will have to admit that their old ways were wrong, and that we were right, as was my mother. We will prove that they need to change if they want to live."
"Who cares?" Aria said.
"I do. The decision is made. I know precisely how we're going to do it, and Aria, it involves beating up on unicorns. How does that sound?"
"...I'm listening."
And so the plan was hatched. Adagio, Aria, and Sonata split up to drain the magic from as many unicorns as would fill their amulets, then present it as a transfusion to the people of their old village. As they went about the task, Novo stuck to Adagio's side, looking up at her and tasting of adoration and gratefulness. And kelp.
"Why do you keep staring at me, child?"
"It's just, when our people talk about you three, it's always about how you were cursed creatures that were driven out for your wicked fascination with the surface world. But the minute I found you, you offered to help me, and this surface world is...pretty. I mean, it's dry and smelly, but it's not the cursed realm I was told about at bedtime!"
"Yes, well, stories only contain a little smidgen of truth to them. It can be difficult to find that truth at times. This would is as dangerous and cruel as they say, little fry. But that is not all that it is, not even close." 
"I should very much like to see the rest of it."
"Perhaps you will in time. But focus on the task at hand, otherwise you'll have no one at home to tell your stories to." Adagio said, and the ghost of a smile snagged in her fanged maw. 
After much terrorizing and drinking and violence and yet more of those things, the Dazzlings came back together, brimming with power. Adagio hated the taste of unicorn energy. It was the so-called magic of "Order" and it was like wine without the fruity flavor. It was boring and bland, but it was what her people needed, and so Adagio led the Dazzlings down a familiar journey of leagues until they finally returned to their nameless old village. Much had changed, but less than one might hope.
There was a new regent that Adagio didn't recognize. The stone huts had been replaced with shell and coral, and there were far fewer hippocampus than when the Dazzlings had left. 
"You will not touch Our subjects, you foul demons!" Shrieked the regent. No sooner than Novo had introduced the Dazzlings to the descendants of their people had her mother, the regent begun to scream as if she had seen a windigo doing the backstroke. 
"We come in peace and with a solution to your problem. The fry has appraised us of the situation, and we have come to cure it. Your people--OUR people are magical creatures that are losing their magic. In a few generations there will be none left. If you want to stand a chance of weathering the test of time, you need the magic that we have brought for you. It is the arcane might of over a thousand unicorns. Let us save you!"
"Lies! They were banished for a reason! They are nothing but monsters come to corrupt us! Don't listen to this witch!" Shouted the townspeople. Their cries came between weak coughing fits. 
"We're trying to save you!" Sonata said.
"You see? This is what you get for sticking your neck out for idiots. Aria snarled.
"Your highness, you must see reason. Your kingdom is falling to pieces before your very eyes, and it's because you all refuse to move forward! Let us help you!" Adagio pleaded. She reached deep down and realized she didn't want her people extinct, even if she had to swim to the bottomless pool of her own pride to save them. 
"All We see is a heathen beast seeking to corrupt my subjects with demonic magic, likely to make her own wretched existence a bit less lonely." The queen huffed. It took every ounce of self-control in Adagio not to scream in the regents' face, and even more control for her and Sonata to hold Aria back from caving her face in.
"We will find our own solution without the need for dark magic, thank you very much. It is obvious that the tales of the corrupting influence of the surface were true. Return to your exile, foul creatures, and may you never darken our door again."  The queen departed on those words. Adagio would not be so easily defeated. 
Adagio had never attempted her next feat, but if unicorns could do it, then so could she. The Dazzlings focused all their effort on expelling the magic of the unicorns from their amulets, but then Adagio cast a barrier around it of her own, which tightened and crushed and purified the arcane power into a singular point; one perfect pearl. The salvation of her people.
The young fry Novo would find a gift wrapped in seaweed with some instructions enchanted to it through song. If Novo wished to succeed in saving her people, all she needed to do was hold the pearl aloft and wish it so. 
The Dazzlings made back for the shallows, and while Adagio never found out if her people survived, she knew at least one of them could see sense. There was a sliver of hope, and that would have to be enough. 

The next challenge to the Dazzlings' power would be the greatest one yet. Adagio was in the middle of making a grave mistake; entertaining a house guest. At this time they had made a long-standing fortress of a ship graveyard off the coast of Griffonstone. 
To be entirely fair, the God of Chaos was rather entertaining on the outset, but the company of a primordial being grew tiresome with each hideous alteration of interior decorating. Chocolate milk rain is fine enough until someone has to clean up the curdled mess left over. That is to say, Aria did not appreciate cleaning up so much random paraphernalia, and the constant japery was beginning to wear on even Sonata's nerves. Adagio was looking for a spell by which to banish this creature now that the welcome had worn out, or perhaps create a transmutation spell that could change an ageless primordial into a glass statue that could then be thrown out a five-story window. This was not the challenge, really. The challenge was the one that came looking.
It was about six in the morning and Adagio was trying to remove cotton candy from her dorsal fin when the coral comb she was using suddenly transformed into a screaming skull with six eyes. 
Aria came wheeling out of her room, clattering down the swollen wooden stairs, covered in...chattering teeth that were made out of candy cane. Which were biting her in all sorts of uncomfortable ways. 
"Aria? Aria, are you alright? Aria, calm down." Adagio droned. Aria was at that moment too preoccupied with crashing through ship walls, rolling about on the floor and screaming to do much listening, and so Adagio very calmly pulled a lashing tongue of seawater up through the floor and gargled Aria around in it until the candy teeth melted.
"What...what...WHAT!? What in the-"
"Before you ask, no, these are not my transmutations." Adagio said, crushing what was once her favorite comb beneath her tail. 
"Eeeee!!!" Sonata squealed from her kitchen. Adagio and Aria ran through makeshift corridors and creaking decks to find Sonata squeezing some hideous demonic creature like a teddy bear. It looked like it used to be a steak, but was at that moment, simply made out of steak and wood and teeth and wishing desperately that it could get out of Sonata's grip. "It's soooo cute! Can we keep it?" Sonata said. 
"No." Adagio and Aria reduced it to red ash. 
"Where are you!? I know you're behind all this!" Aria screeched as she charged through walls and floors in search of the God of Chaos. 
Following the splinters in her wake, Adagio and Sonata found Aria with her jaws around a reptilian tail that was trying very earnestly to escape.
"Aria, what are you doing?" Adagio asked.
"I'm going to rip this tail off and eat it for what this bitch did to my toilet!" Aria snarled.
"Is that what smells like bacon?" Sonata asked.
"Now now, there's no need to fight over me! I won't be a problem for you any longer, dear Dazzlings! As a matter of fact, I was just leaving!" Said the god of chaos, bedecked in a sun hat, bathing suit, and overly large suitcase. One hoof was in a rift in space that seemed to lead to a wasteland of scrolling checkerboard.
"Excuse me!? What about the string theory transmutation lessons you promised me?" Adagio said. 
"Pillow talk, my dear, pillow talk! Now I know I've been nothing short of a perfect house guest..." A roasted pig with a toilet tank and seat on its back ran across the deck, then unfurled a pair of wings, soared into the sky and very likely the stratosphere. "but I really must be going! You see, my dearest darling has just realized that the charming god of chaos that she has been carousing with for the last week is, in a manner of speaking, a blowup doll with a voice box in it, and she won't happy to discover that I've been crashing on the couch of a trio of co-ed water witches, no siree! So I'm just going to go ahead annnnnd..." The scaly tail that Aria had clamped down on suddenly shifted into a bunch of foam, which then coalesced into a bar of soap that scrubbed her teeth, rendering them squeaky clean.
"...make like a bubble and blow~!" The rift closed with the god of chaos inside it, zippering with a sound like the earth quaked and disturbed a small warehouse of whoopee cushions. 
"Huh. Well, that was fun." Sonata said.
"Nothing about that was fun!" Aria stamped her tail and shattered a few boards.
"...wait a minute. You were SEEING SOMEONE ELSE!?" Adagio shrieked into the sky.
The ship groaned and twisted and undulated like a worm's back, then a thousand mouths opened along the deck and laughed and screamed in a ghastly chorus. The ocean turned to blood and boiled and reeked of copper. 
All the winds bowed and held their breaths as the sky rent open and bled like a scratched scab. Something was coming through. Adagio had read about Tambelon, the realm of darkness and nightmares from which all earthly magic was said to drip forth, but she never believed the theories until she saw a sky of all-consuming shadows behind a beast that could only be described as terror made flesh. The clouds wept and laughed as it stretched chest up from the wound in reality.
Its claws were larger than the ship upon which the Dazzlings stood. It had the face and horns of a goat, but the ears of a bat, the hood of a cobra, and eyes of sheer, unending malice which trained upon the three sirens and narrowed. 
As one of its colossal claws reached down to find purpose on a trench shelf, the creatures of the ocean swam to it and were consumed by the lashing tendrils that had been the beasts' fur just a moment before. The claw became a tentacle with many more claws at the tips. 
When the beast spoke, it howled in the voice of every dark and hungry thing to come charging from the dark of the jungle or screeching from the sky on a murderous wing or snapping and ripping from beneath the ground. It was a chorus of murder that rumbled across the darkening skies.
"I AM COSMOS! I AM THE MALICE THAT RIPS AT THE THROAT OF REALITY, FIRST CHILD OF THE FATHER OF BEASTS, THE VENOM IN THE VEINS OF ALL PEACE AND HARMONY! AND I. HAVE COME. FOR MY BELOVED!"





Buck and Scoots stood, clutching each other's shoulders in shuddering fear as Adagio loomed over them. She had  curled her hands into claws. She had used some kind of magic to alter her voice, and her eyes had gone all serpentine and yellow and the result was the scariest fucking thing Buck had seen outside of Serbian cinematography. 
They had been strolling along the back wall of the boardwalk, no sidewalk beneath them, blacktop next to them, shaded from the sun. The aquarium's glass-covered roof shined in the afternoon light just a city block down the road.
In a parked car at a nearby corner, Starlight lowered her binoculars and gestured broadly at Adagio while looking at Sunburst. Sunburst shrugged. 
"Adagio, what the fuck are you talkin' about?" Buck said, straightening up.
"What do you mean, Buck?" Adagio said, smiling innocently.
"Ooooh I get it! You're just making things up, now!" Scootaloo said, already starting to walk down the road.
"I am not! That actually happened! It was the most irritating day of the decade, I'll have you know!"
"Most irritating??" Buck said.
"Well, yes, it certainly was! It was the most horrific performance of my career! We had to beat that thing back into the rift to be sealed up, the girls and I! Even the then current empress of the Holy Pony Empire got involved; it was a whole production, I assure you!"
"What." Scoots said.
"You teamed up with a pony princess." Buck said, squinting.
"Yes, Buck."
"You. With a pony. And the other dazzlings, too."
"Yes, Buck. Survival before pride, haven't we discussed this?"
"Just...man."
"If it makes you feel any better, the cleanup took literal years to complete. We didn't hang around for that bit, of course."
"Of course. Are you sure you're not making this up?"
"Have I ever lied to you, Buck?"
"I have no idea."
"That's a fine point, but you're missing the main one, Buck?" Adagio said, taking his hand.
"Okay, I'll bite. What's the point, babe?" Buck said, walking in lockstep with Adagio.
"The point is that at the height of our power, The Dazzlings not only contested the might of the god of madness and carnage, but we beat her back. You need to understand the sheer strength of our magic before you can understand how devastating our fall from grace truly was. The princess didn't even try to apprehend us after the crisis was averted. She was frightened of us."
"...wow."
"Wow? Is that what you have to say? 'Wow'. The greatest institution of arcane learning reduced to a sand trap; 'Wow'. A whole shrine and temple dedicated to 'Wow'. The last words on the faces of our aggressors and countless victims; 'Wow'! The very fear of the ultimate power on terrestrial Equestria!"
"Wow." said Scootaloo. 
"You are being the opposite of helpful!" Adagio hissed.
"No, I understand, Adagio."
"You very clearly do not, Buck."
"I'm tryin' to! It's just all the magic I've seen has been kinda the splash zone of big crazy events like that! Hanging with the Rainbooms was like that'n even that ain't close to what you're describing!" What you're talking about is 'once in a generation' type events."
"Try 'Once in an epoch.'" Adagio mumbled.
"Yes, I get it, and wow, for someone of that kind of age, you are absolutely killin' it, like holy moley." Buck said.
"Better." Adagio smiled.
"I guess my perspective just ain't wide enough to...to even imagine shit like that! How many crazy stories like that do ya have?" Buck said.
"Oh, countless instances, Buck." Adagio smirked.
"Okay, do I have to pay you to get you to tell me some more of those?" Buck said. 'cause this is some insane stuff."
"Well, I might tell you more over wine and cuddles if the rest of this date goes well." Adagio winked.
"Sweet." Buck pumped his fist. Scoots jogged backwards to catch the two, as she'd been walking ahead of them. 
There was a flash of lights and the brief report of a klaxon and then Adagio felt Buck spike with fear, followed by a low, sizzling anxiety. 
A white sedan with a blue stripe down the middle pulled up behind the trio. The hood of the car raised ever so slightly, which relaxed Adagio a bit. Perhaps the vehicle was simply malfunctioning and the officer needed to do a quick inspection. Adagio tasted that the hood raising had the opposite effect on Buck; he squeezed her hand just a bit without seeming to realize it. The siren had barked only once, but the lights were still flashing and spinning. 
Before Adagio turned to face the individual who had gotten out of the car, she saw a flash of recognition in Buck's eyes and the taste of disgust that can only come from familiar, unpleasant company. Are we ever going to make it to the aquarium? Adagio wondered as she turned.
Before her was a woman wearing a dark uniform, a pair of black sunglasses, a well-polished badge, and in a manner that reminded Adagio of older days in this country; a truncheon at her side. Her skin was turquoise, her hair an amber color, and she moved with all the swagger of a woman who doesn't have to care that she's letting herself go.
"Buck. I thought I recognized that ass. Do you know why I pulled you over?" She said. Her voice sounded like it should have been layered over a low-budget procedural crime drama.
"Ya cain't pull me over, 'cause I'm not in a car. And no, I don't." Buck said. The woman smiled and pulled out a notepad. Adagio rolled her eyes. Buck's hand was shaking just the slightest bit.
"Jaywalking, Buck. There's no sidewalk here, so this is a road shoulder, and you're endangering the lives of yourself, every driver that passes, and these two women. That's going to be a fine."
"Lightning Dust, this is a 30 mile an hour zone. Why don't you go over there and ticket some of those double-parked SUVs?" Buck said, gesturing across the street, where unbeknownst to him, Sunburst and Starlight Glimmer ducked down. 
"That's Officer Lightning Dust to you if you don't want it to be a big fine." The smarmy cop said, scribbling in her notepad. Adagio squinted and saw through the reflection on her glasses that she wasn't writing anything.
"Hey, you can't--" Scoots started, from behind Buck's back, but he held a hand out and shook his head.
"Well, I should probably tell you that I can fight that fine in court, because this stretch is about nine feet wide, which means where we're standin' isn't technically road shoulder." Buck's accent retreated for emphasis.
"Hmph. Tell it to the judge." Lightning Dust grumbled.
"I will. That's what I'm sayin'." Buck deadpanned. Adagio very patiently chose not to melt the face off this woman while Buck attempted to handle the situation. 
The cop, Lightning Dust tasted like cold, bitter tea and thinly veiled sadism. 
"Well, maybe I oughta just book you for public indecency, then." She smiled. Adagio froze, and from the taste, she surmised that Buck and her were thinking the same thing. This bitch had been following them, and she saw them exiting the dressing room together.
"Based on what proof?" Buck tried. Good, Buck. Let's get our blades out so that we can measure properly. Adagio's eyes darted around. It didn't seem like anyone was watching. At worst she could sharpen the blacktop beneath this bitches' car and give her tires just the right kind of slash to look like an accident. Perhaps she would simply seal the tailpipe shut. That would be both spiteful and artful.
"Well, word in the precinct is that a certain bum that works in a shitty sweet shop has a new sugar momma, and they've been sucking face in the side alley." Lightning Dust said, with the casual tone of those water cooler small talks that Adagio had to suffer through at work.
"Why's who I'm datin' the business of the CPD?" Buck said. Adagio was relieved that the cop didn't actually have anything on them, but from Buck's shaking hand in hers, he likely didn't think that it mattered.
"Oh, it's not, not officially. It just, you know, word gets around. Small town." Lightning Dust made a sound that was more like the yipping of a small dog than a laugh. The cop stepped toward Buck, and Adagio decided that this distance was quite enough. She stepped before Buck and stared at her reflection in the sun shades. 
"You are aware that you can't arrest someone for kissing, right? I know that a passionate kiss can seem like a crime to the uninitiated, but it's quite legal." Adagio said. Lightning Dust stepped forward again and got into her face, frowning. Adagio didn't flinch. Please, Adagio thought. Give me an excuse. She figured that Lightning Dust was thinking the same.
"Well, Buck's got plenty on his record already. If I took him down to the precinct, I'm sure we could find something in his file if we just look." Lightning Dust snorted. 
"Say, Lightning Dust, how's the marriage goin'?" Buck said, over Adagio's shoulder. She tasted a dab of righteous fury from Buck, and a cold audacity from Lightning Dust.
"The marriage's done, no thanks to you." Lightning Dust said.
"Aw, man, I'm sorry to hear that. It's just I haven't seen you casually since the bachelorette party; only on duty. That was a crazy night, huh? Say, uh, how much of it did you say you remember, again?" Buck said, holding a hand up to his ear.
"Listen here, you self-righteous, cowardly little cuck, I'm about a second away from--"
"Hey! Hi, hello! Did you know that you're being recorded right now? Because we have the right to record you, and we're exercising it right now!" Sunburst huffed. He had just crossed the street, Starlight behind him, and they were both holding camera phones up. They stood on the other side of Lightning Dust, near her car.
"Hey, why's your hood up? Is it to cover the camera in there?" Scootaloo said, scrambling to get her phone out as well. 
Lightning Dust paused, then bared her teeth. 
"And this is also an excellent time to ask if we're being detained, and if so, on what charges, exactly?" Adagio said.
"You're a little pussy, Buck. Lettin' girls fight your battles for you." Lightning Dust said, under her breath.
"We done here?" Buck said. Lightning Dust crossed her arms, and bald sadism shone proudly from her smile like her badge had before she covered it.
"You know you're ridin' the town bicycle right now? Did he tell you about his little side gigs? Huh? Oh wait, no, let me guess, you're paying him for today. How much is he running these days?" Lightning Dust said to Adagio. 
"The man asked if we're done here." Adagio said, simply. Lightning Dust tasted like she very definitely wanted to say more, but then she looked around at the cameras pointed at her.
"Alright, you're off with a warning, but don't let me catch you making trouble around here again!" Lightning Dust said loudly and dramatically, turning around. She smiled at Sunburst and Starlight and headed for her car. 
"Oh, officer? Do we have your permission to finish walking down this half mile stretch of road? It's a bit too late to turn around, since there is no crosswalk." Adagio said. Lightning Dust slammed her hood shut and looked over her shoulder.
"Yes, you have my permission to walk down this dirt road, bitch, I really couldn't care less." Lightning Dust snarled, then slammed her door and made a U-turn that was very probably illegal before driving off. 
Buck's shoulders dropped and he let out a slightly rattling breath. Scootaloo reemerged from where she had been hiding in his shadow. 
"Whew. What an ass. Hey, Adagio, why'd you ask her if we could keep walkin'?"
"Because, little birdie, had I not she would have ticketed us for jaywalking. We had to first get her to confirm that walking this stretch is, in fact, entirely legal." Adagio said, checking her nails. 
"It's a good thing we showed up when we did! That could have gotten nasty." Sunburst said, putting his phone away. "Are you alright, Buck?" Before Sunburst could get his arms out, Buck was hugging him tight. Sunburst patted his back.
"Yes, quite a coincidence that you happened to be nearby." Adagio said, looking at Starlight. She tasted of anger and disgust as usual, but also of pity and surprise. 
"We're on an aquarium date, and we just now found a place to park." Starlight said without hesitation. 
"Oh, wow! That's where we're going! Why don't you come along?" Scootaloo said before Adagio could interject.
"Oh yeah, Sunburst, 'dagio's been tellin' us her life story today. It's pretty epic stuff; right up your alley, like if Discworld was narrated by Cruella Deville." Buck said, brightening. Somehow, to Adagio, that sounded vaguely like an insult, but she was too busy glaring at Scootaloo to care. Sunburst's eyes lit up.
"Really? That sounds extremely personal, uh, Adagio, would you be alright if Starlight and I listened in?"
"No, I wouldn't mind, so long as the two of you behave. I won't stand for any back talk, or any insults." Adagio said, once again catching Starlight's eyes. She didn't blink.
"Starlight? What do you think?" Sunburst said.
"...I don't see why not. We're heading the same way." Starlight said.
"Yes, wonderful, now can we get on with it? It's beginning to got hot out here." Adagio said, taking Buck's hand. She kept eye contact with Starlight as she and Sunburst began walking down the road, Scootaloo right behind them, already starting up the annoying small talk.
Adagio pulled Buck along. She tasted him sinking into a familiar black pool of self-loathing and profound shame.
"Buck? What exactly was all that about?" Adagio offered.
"...No." 
"No?" Buck's hand was trembling again.
"No, as in, I'm not having this conversation with you right now. Please understand."
"Understood, Buck. Not a single word."
"Thank you, Adagio." Buck sniffed.





The battle with Cosmos had cost Equestria dearly, but more importantly, it had cost the majority of the magic that the Dazzlings had been painstakingly storing. By the end of the conflict, they were just about tapped, and no less notorious even after having technically saved the surface world. 
After much deliberation, Adagio decided that the best course of action was simply to start over. The Dazzlings would take some time to hibernate in a secure location, and when they awoke, it's likely that no creature would even remember their names. It's not as if ponies would ever admit in their history books that they owed their lives to three heartless beasts of the deep. 
And so the Dazzlings slept, and when they awoke, they found that Equestria was right where they had left it. Generations had passed, by the state of the vessels crossing the seas and the buildings along the shore, but things were still simple if a bit quieter. 
The plan was simplicity itself; the Dazzlings would swim down the coast until they came upon a small and isolated community. Then they would have that isolated community for brunch. Perhaps they would get cozy for a bit and let the villagers laud them as sea goddesses and shower them with sacrifices for a while before moving on. That sounded good to Adagio, but this was just a small pit stop before their grand comeback tour, and so she simply decided that the Dazzlings would take what they could of the ponies' magic, then move on to bigger prey.
Perhaps they would explore the surface world in proper disguises this time. 
After a brief swim, Adagio spied a gangly little slip of a unicorn stallion combing the beach for shells. She called out to him and found that he did not recognize the name of the Dazzlings. He tasted of inquisitiveness and fear. Perfect. 
After Adagio asked if the young stallion knew of any nearby villages where she and her sisters might put on a bit of a concert, he ran off, likely intimidated by their majesty. Easy come easy go. They would simply have to find another patsy.
The thing about so-called 'heroes' is that you can never see them coming. Heroes can spring up from any desperate circumstance and try to force a change. Often times they would fail, but they were usually remembered well for the attempt. In this regard, being remembered as a hero was like history's participation trophy. They often appeared from destroyed villages or destroyed families or destroyed breakfasts, who was to say, but they always had one thing in common. 
Heroes always had this tiny, obnoxious little glint in their eye. This spark that urged them to die trying something. That little spark was the most dangerous thing of all, so it's easy to imagine Adagio's shock when she saw seven instances of that very spark come to the top of the hill overlooking the little village that they had taken over. 
The young unicorn that Adagio had bothered seemed to have run to the corners of the earth to gather pony reinforcements. They all attacked as one.
See the Dazzlings now as they fight defensively, trying to conserve what little magic they had drained from the village as the ponies strike at them with a mixed assault. One tumbles and rockets through the air while another hurls potions, still another cackling as it buzzes around their heads. The sturdy strike of an earth pony's shovel, illusions wrought by a unicorn's horn, defensive barriers conjured to box the dazzlings in as they desperately lash out with song and spell and teeth. They had just woken up, and already they were fighting for their lives against the wretched ponies once more.
See them now as they realize that they are floating back to back; surrounded. See Aria howl curses and Sonata try in vain to flee. See Adagio lock eyes with the young unicorn stallion and swear on all the stars that he would suffer the most for this insult. His eyes are hollow. Not like the others. Not a hero. 
The ponies came together with artifacts of immeasurable power, and with a surge of magic unlike any seen on Equestria before, the world around the Dazzlings went white. 
When they awoke again, they awoke in Hell.





"And that was our world." Sunburst said. He had been taking notes, naturally, but he seemed to take no joy as Adagio spoke the story of her greatest defeat. The Aquarium had turned out to be a wonderful distraction at first. It was a dark, cool building with soft music; an atmosphere that soothed Adagio and gave her an excuse to cling to Buck. Scootaloo ran off immediately, but always looped back around, while Sunburst and Buck chatted about interesting oceanic factoids. Starlight, as seemed her predilection, kept watching Adagio as if she were a badly behaved child on a leash.
At the moment they were sitting around a table, enjoying some snacks and a drink. Well, three of them were. Scootaloo was off petting a stingray in a little open tank.
"Naturally. We had done some terrible things. Frankly, if we were to be punished, it's not as if it wouldn't be well deserved. But the Dazzlings did not deserve to be sent here; nothing we ever did could warrant something as harsh as this."
"Oh please." Starlight said. "You make it sound so miserable." A roll of the eye made Adagio think that Starlight was being snide, but the purple-haired bitch's stare shifted straight back to Adagio. A challenge.
"...you joke, but only because you don't understand. This world is the nightmare of any magical creature, because there is no ambient magic. The only magic to be found is in the emotions and intentions of others, and what that meant was that we sirens could never fill our bellies here. Every day we starved until we found a way to feed. Luckily, the worst feature of this realm was also an advantage for us."
"The worst feature? What's that?" Buck said, somewhere to the left. Adagio's hand had drifted away from his. She was lightly stroking at the spot where her amulet had been. Adagio would not turn away from Starlight's judgemental stare.
"Humans." 

For every pathetic, disgusting quality that ponies had, humans were a cracked and darkened mirror. The Dazzlings had faced monsters, they had become monsters, but there were no monsters in Equestria that could measure up to the savagery of humans. They were everything that Adagio had learned to fear during her academy days. 
The world of humans was bleak and twisted. It was filled with metal and fire and greed. There were no other races to contest the human's crushing grip on the world, and there was no magic to sweeten the breeze or warm the heart.
The only magic to be found was within the beating hearts of living things, and so the only hope the Dazzlings had lay within the monsters that surrounded them each day.
They were the perfect prey. 
At the G.G.A.A. the Dazzlings had gained immense power by feeding on the vices of ponies. Adagio believed that the best way to regain their powers and find a means by which to rip themselves back into their home dimension was to do the same with humans. After all, there seemed to be no end to the vices of humans.
The first attempts came out as a trickle. The pettiness of humans rivaled even the ponies, and they were extremely good at suppressing their emotions. The Dazzlings would sneak into human dens of sin and quietly feed, but their vice was like a bucket of absinthe down their throats. Adagio thought in that time that she had seen the worst things a human could do to another, but she was naive. The Dazzlings could not feed like this, not without becoming darker and more corrupted with time if the madness didn't take them first.
It was not until the Dazzlings found their way to the battlefield that they could feast.
Humans are violent by nature, and so finding a conflict to hover around was easy. For the first few generations, the Dazzlings were content to live life out on the seas. They could not change back to their true forms and find Home in this world, but they could rule the waves atop it. Cannon fire and clashing metal and screams swallowed by the deep followed in the wake of their black flag, but eventually, the age of piracy came to an end. From there, the Dazzlings wandered from conflict to conflict. They were burned as witches in a little village in the new world, and when that didn't work, they laughed and danced in the bay they had made where the village had been. They participated in a few bloody revolutions, and as time wore on, they continued to starve.
Now they had the opposite problem; drinking from the worst of humanity would poison them, but drinking the confused essence of battlefields would dilute the magic so much it was like drinking water when one was aching for bread.  They experimented. 
The Dazzlings became the stuff of legends; stalking dark corners of the earth in search of victims to wring the fear out of. They followed bankers and supped on their greed, and they crept through crowded music halls to sample envy and lust and excitement. They captured lovers and drank of their affection, but the magic turned to ash in their mouths. Nothing could ever satisfy their thirst.





"So you all ruined lives and killed and stole because you were, what, hungry?" Starlight said.
"Yes, naturally. Ambition alone can drive one to commit abhorrent acts, Starlight Glimmer. Do you have any idea the kinds of things people will do when they're caged in? When they're hungry? You sit there and judge me all you want, but you can't possibly know what it is to live for centuries with a rumbling stomach." Warmth. Adagio blinked and shifted her thigh under Buck's hand. She covered it with her own. She took a breath. 
"What happened next?" Sunburst said.
"Just feeding on humans wasn't working. Their magic was diluted to the point of being near worthless, and their emotions were erratic at best; poisonous at worst. Drinking them was disgusting, but even through the hunger pangs, I refused to stop looking for a way out. My sisters depended on me to point the way forward, you see. This was my responsibility." Adagio said.





There were times when the Dazzlings needed to simply take a break from one another. They would go off and build their own bases and plunder their own spoils and find their own humans to snack on. It was perhaps the second or third time--no, the second time was when Adagio spent a few decades as a bog witch, it had to be the third--that Adagio finally found a lead. An artifact from her dimension. It was filled with old ponish words that only she could decipher, and it was bound in black leather. It was in a museum full of stolen things, so Adagio felt no remorse in taking it for herself. It was from her home, and therefore in this world. It belonged in her hands. 
As it turned out, it was the spellbook of the young unicorn stallion that had spelled the siren's doom. Stygian was his name, and within his pages, he wrote wondrous theories and spellcraft based on his fellow 'Pillars of Equestria'. The book was useless in practicality. There would never be enough magic to cast these spells. But what it represented was far more valuable. 
Like the Dazzlings, this spellbook had come from the other side. Other things must have as well.
And so Adagio bent every effort toward finding other links to Equestria. 





"Legends and tall tales and bits of mythology. Stories about animals and people and combinations of those things...and ponies. Is that why so much human mythology has ponies in it?" Buck mused. Adagio smiled and looked at him, finally.
"You're catching on quick, Buck. How unexpected. That's correct; many of the legends of your world are the result of magic that was smuggled over from mine. That was my theory, anyway. In truth, nothing I ever uncovered could lead me home. Without sufficient magic to cast a proper ritual, the Dazzlings and I were stuck. I would go back and forth between hating every moment here and finding little dalliances to spend my time on, but I would always come back to searching for a solution until, finally, it found us."





Hope arrived in the form of an explosion on the horizon. The Dazzlings were in Canterlot at the time by coincidence, but they saw a mushroom cloud of rainbow hues rising over the skyline from one of their usual haunts. Imagine for a moment the smell of your favorite flower. Now imagine that you lived a long and miserable life, never again tasting that scent, save for the lightest of essences. One day you're wandering about aimlessly when someone comes and shoves a whole bouquet of those very flowers in your face. Wouldn't you take the bouquet?

"You know the rest." Adagio said. 
"You failed, and you lost your artifacts, and you ran off to go find others to leech." Starlight said.
"Starlight, stop." Sunburst warned.
"Sunset said that you all were on the road to reformation." Starlight said.
"How do you know Sunset Shimmer?" Adagio hissed. 
"Everybody knows Sunset Shimmer." Buck shrugged. 
"You're not going to win." Starlight said.
"Excuse me?" Adagio said.
"Whatever you're planning this time; you're not going to win." Starlight said. 
"Ooh, hoh, hoh. I don't need to 'win' anything, little girl. But I'm more than happy to humble you, like I was humbled, since you seem so intent on hounding me." Adagio growled.
"Bring it, bitch. I'm not scared of you." Starlight rose from her seat.
"Starlight!" Sunburst said.
"Yes. Because you're a fool." Adagio said.
"Alright, alright, that's enough! Adagio? Can I talk to you for a lil' bit? Alone?" Buck said, pointing across the room.
"There's a show starting in the main tank if you guys want to check it out." Sunburst offered. 
"Maybe, man. Maybe." Buck said, pulling Adagio along. Starlight and Sunburst were at the beginning of a quiet argument when the two left.





The main tank of the Canterlot aquarium seemed all at once vast to the life inside and disgustingly small to Adagio. The circumference of it stretched out of the west wall of the aquarium and into a ring of bleachers outside. People were starting to gather out there. From the map that Adagio had seen, the main tank was divided into different sections based on the creatures that could cohabitate. 
Adagio saw a manta ray elegantly soaring through the water high above and shoals of fish swimming about on their errands. There was a bed of coral hosting a variety of colorful shy creatures, and the eye of an octopus peeked out from beneath the lid of a colorful clay pot. 
Adagio couldn't think of a more apt metaphor. A tank that seemed large to its ignorant tenants. An ornate but tiny isolated container with a clever creature inside. It could change its skin and it could put on airs, but eventually, it would always return to the safety of the pot. 
From where Buck and Adagio sat, the main tank's wall stretched up to the ceiling. There were stairs on either side. The afternoon light filtered down through the water and onto the two of them. 
"Look at this. Another bench." Adagio said. She was sitting, turned away from Buck. She noticed Scootaloo poking at the glass of a clownfish enclosure. Adagio had never known a careless life, and she envied that in Scootaloo. 
"Yeah, deja vu, ain't it." Buck said, joylessly. Adagio took a small sample of his taste and nearly gagged. Despair. She had been right about him. She had broken his will.

Over in Buck's head, he was wondering just what in the hell to say. He had heard Adagio's story. All she wanted was to get out of this world and into a better one. A better one that didn't have him in it. 
She had said that drinking humans never satisfied. That must be why she kept coming back to Buck; he wasn't enough for her. 
He was trying, though. He had tried so hard, but it was obvious to him now that he couldn't make her happy, not even on a sunny day like this, and now he was lost. Eventually, she would leave him, because he would never be enough. He'd found a girl that liked him, that really seemed to want him, but now it looked like all he was good for was a snack and a fuck. She was so far out of his league, she was literally out of this world, and Buck was out of his depth. 
She was going to leave him, and they hadn't even really gotten started. Buck thought maybe that was a good thing. Short and sweet was better than long and painful. 
Anything would have been better than Her. 
Stop it! Stop fucking thinking about it, you idiot! Look! There's a girl in front of you, and she's hurting. Make yourself useful and try to cheer her up. Don't fuck this up. The least you can do is not make a scene when she breaks it off with you.
"Say, Adagio? Could I ask you somethin'?" Buck said, hands at his sides.
"Yes, Buck. What is it now?" Adagio groaned.
"What did the ocean say to the beach?" Adagio sat up and looked over at him. She looked so hurt at first, then confused.
"What?"
"Nothing. It just waved!" Buck pointed a finger gun at Adagio. She put her hands over her mouth and her eyes started to well up. A million apologies were trying to push through the threshold of Buck's mouth at once, but Adagio's shoulders shook, and tears rolled down her face, and then she threw her head back and let fly a horse laugh that made nearby parents and kids take pause. 
"Hahahahah! What is wrong with you, Buck!?" Adagio laughed. 
"Uh...lotta things. Sorry." 
"No, no, it's fine! Thank you! Just...why do you do that? How do you do that?"
"What, Dad jokes?"
"You just...swoop in and distract me when I'm trying to stew in my own misery! It's almost annoying." Adagio said, smiling.
"I dunno, I guess that's what I'm good for, huh? A distraction." Buck mumbled. He looked away and saw an expression of disgust on Adagio's face like she'd just bit down on a black tea bag. That's right, he probably tasted disgusting right now. 
"That's not what I said, Buck."
"S'what you meant. I guess I should be flattered. I'm about the best you can get out of a human, right? A good distraction?" Buck said. He rose.
"Sit down, Buck. Stay." Adagio said. It sounded like a command, but when Buck turned to her, her eyes were soft. "Please." Adagio said. She held out her hand.
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to make this about me. I came here to listen." Buck said. He plopped back down and let Adagio's small, cool hand slide into his. 
"Well, you know the rest, Buck. I put a base together over in Tenpony Tower. I made rooms for myself and Sonata and Aria, for when they finally came back. But they never did."
"You still never told me why that is?"
"Buck, use your head. I've already said why. Our amulets were destroyed in the fight. They were our only hope of collecting enough power to go home. There was nothing left for us, so we just drifted around, touring, making a few fans, certainly, but always starving. We argued about what to do, because there was nothing we could do."
"And that's when they left you." Buck finished.
"Yes. And so now I'm alone on this hell world, and two thirds of my heart are missing, and I'm weaker than I've ever been."
"Well...there's gotta be others, right? Other loves, other families. Humans ain't so bad that you couldn't find new people, right?"
"Hah! Why would I do that? No human could understand what I am. I don't need them, anyway. I don't need anyone."
"You're a livin' thing, and livin' things need two things; to be fed and to be loved. Simple as that." Buck said. His cold despair was bubbling and boiling away. 
"I am the blackhearted scourge of the equestrian seas. I am a beast that devours the hearts of men, and thrives on the fear I create in my witnesses. No one could love a thing like Adagio Dazzle." 
"...do you want to stay as the thing that you were, Adagio?" Adagio's head snapped around at Buck. She was suddenly furious, then confused as his gold eyes caught her straight on. 
"What did you say? What exactly does that mean, Buck?" Adagio challenged him. She scooted closer and glared.
"Well, I've been listenin' to you all day, and you keep painting yourself like this fucking whirlpool that sucks in everything around you, an' I just don't see it." Buck said. 
"What would you know, Buck?" Adagio spat. She tried to pull her hand out of his, but it was like being caught in a steel trap. One that was warming up.
"Not much. But I can look just fine. And the Adagio Dazzle I've seen is sweet. She sees value in people--somehow she saw value in me--and she protects it. She gives weird and thoughtful gifts, and she knows how to have fun. Adagio Dazzle cares."
"And when exactly did I say that I care about you, Buck?" Adagio huffed. The man genuinely looked like he was fighting back tears for a moment. Finally, a solid blow. 
"Don't get me wrong. Adagio Dazzle is also mean as hell. And she's full of spite, and she's jealous even though she don't admit it."
"How dare."
"And for some reason she thinks that poofy sleeves are okay, but that ain't the point. Adagio Dazzle is a lot of incredible things, and she don't have to be a monster."
"You just listed a lot of reasons why you don't like Adagio Dazzle, and Adagio Dazzle is about one word away from getting up and leaving you here."
"Adagio, all that stuff is things that I love about you." Buck said. Adagio shuddered.
Love. Buck had never said that word in relation to her before.   
"Love. Oh, love, here it comes. You can't just fix everything with the 'Power of Love', Buck. You're living in a fantasy."
"I don't want to fix you, Adagio."
"You can't change me, Buck. I am precisely what I've always been."
"Not tryna do that either. People don't really change." Buck said. He looked away, and Adagio was glad because she was afraid she might combust under his eyes. He tasted like anger. She had upset him. But he also tasted like deep infatuation.
"That's right, Buck." Adagio said. The shoal of fish swam to the other edge of the tank.
"They grow." And then he looked through her again. His thumb was stroking the back of her hand. 
Across the room, a camera shutter clicked. 
"What are you talking about, now?"
"Adagio, think about a seed and think about a tree. You put them side by side, and you wouldn't think that one came from the other unless you were told. It's like magic."
"It's nature, Buck." Adagio snapped. He was so warm, and he was leaning forward. She thought he would pounce on her, but instead, he put his forehead against hers. He smelled of sweat and lavender and he tasted of burning. 
"Trees don't change either. Like people, they grow, but they've got it figured out. The whole world could change around an old sequoia, and it would just keep on growin'." Adagio could see her eyes begin to glow pink in her reflection. The water rippled.
Across the room, Starlight Glimmer stuck a hand in her pocket and rose from her seat. 
"What's your point, Buck?" Adagio hissed. She would not let him change her. She would not let his stupidly high magic reserves corrupt her. She was stronger than this and she was stronger than him, but he was warm. He was so warm.
"If you would just stop pushing me away. Adagio, if you would just let me in, I could help you grow. I know I'm not enough for you, I know that, but if you just give me a chance, I really think I could help you grow into the person that you want to be. Just trust me." 
What was this drivel? It was the opposite; Buck was far too much. Adagio's face was turning red, and he was staring through her and he was close. It was like dipping her fingers into a steaming bath.
Sunburst was making for the stairs. Scootaloo was looking at the starfish in another tank across the room.
"And how exactly are you going to do that, Buck?" Adagio said. Buck's fingers were trailing up her arm.
"You already told me how. In the dressing room." Buck whispered. His fingers stroked Adagio's shoulder.
A stone broke apart in the tank. The thinnest of lines formed on the glass wall; right between their lips. Adagio was standing on a cliff overlooking a burning ocean of passion. 
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Adagio sighed. Her cheek was cupped in his palm. She stuck her foot out over the edge of the cliff, while in the tank the shy things hid in their coral. 
"Let me love you, Adagio." Buck said. His breath was hot against her lips. 
The crack in the glass spread and splintered. The pot shook.
Starlight Glimmer pulled a piece of chalk from her pocket and started running at the two. Adagio's eyelids were dropping low. She fell over the cliff.
"Fuck you~" 
They kissed. 
The pot shattered.
All hell broke loose.
> Chapter 16 - Love Is a Battlefield (Pat Benatar)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sunburst was tired of having this conversation with Starlight Glimmer. He loved her so much, had never been so sure that he was in love before, and had not stopped being in love with her from the moment they had reconnected.
She had come to him, then, telling him that she heard he had become a historian, and when he told her he was majoring in anthropology with a minor in world mythology, her eyes had lit up. It had to be fate. Sunburst decided then that he would always be there whenever it was that she needed him.
He had yet to fail at that. Sunburst had listened without judgement when Starlight explained the hidden world that she was a part of. He had accepted her testimonials without scrutiny, and he had agreed to help her. 
Together they were the defenders that Canterlot needed, if not the ones it deserved. A team.
So why was it that Starlight Glimmer, the most clever woman in the whole world was so completely unable to trust him on this? Sunburst had reluctantly watched over Buck and Adagio on their date, and nothing was amiss. They were having fun. Sunburst couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Buck smile so much. Adagio hadn't tried anything sketchy, aside from maybe affecting a ping pong ball with some kind of velocity enchantment that he'd have to look up later. 
And yet Starlight was determined to sit around all day and try to will an excuse to go after Adagio into existence. Adagio was dangerous, that was for certain, and a schemer, but she seemed to genuinely care for Buck. 
Even if she had something potentially dastardly planned, Buck had been smart enough to never be alone with her after that one night when he had called. Why was Starlight so aggro on Adagio?
Sunburst understood why Starlight was frightened of Adagio. It had been some time ago, but some scars never fade. He understood now that since then Adagio had mostly been alone. And now she had Buck, and Buck was like a million free meals to her. Did Starlight never think that maybe the woman was just clinging to him because she was hungry? Explanations as mundane as that were usually true. Starlight wouldn't hear it. 
He hated to argue with her, especially when she had a strong argument in the first place. Adagio Dazzle was the most dangerous thing in Canterlot. Besides Buck, now, Sunburst thought sickly. A part of him hoped that they could all come to an understanding today.
The Aquarium would have been a nice place for it, in theory. Sunburst squinted as he crested the stairs and stepped out into the amphitheater. It was a beautiful day.
The Canterlot Aquarium's main tank stretched out before him. It was cut in half by a stone dividing wall that was maybe thirty feet long and ten wide, with a resplendent stone statue of a sea pony brandishing a silver trident. He bet Adagio would get a kick out of that. He'd have to ask her about her people once the heat died down. 
When Sunburst had snapped at Starlight for once again provoking Adagio, they had hit an impasse. Starlight had decided to stay and watch while Sunburst went off to find a seat. Some kind of sea life show was scheduled soon.  He wished the two of them could just take a break from all of this. Maybe he'd ask his Mom about that cabin she had on the west side of the great lake. 
As Sunburst found a nice open spot on the bleachers among the chattering kids and patient parents and couples who looked like they probably fought a lot less, he promised himself that he would figure this out. There was a peaceful solution to all of this, if everyone would just stop and communicate. 
Maybe after they were all done here, they could discuss things. Maybe over food; that always helped. 
Sunburst sat down with that jingling purse that Starlight had made him carry and he settled in. He didn't see the crack in the glass forming far down on the other side of the divider, nor the water bubbling on the surface. He had pulled out a book of sea monsters to peruse in the meantime.
Before he could flip to his bookmark, a blur of gnashing teeth came flying at his throat.

About a minute earlier than that, Buck was wondering if the words had come out right. He knew Adagio wouldn't love him, probably couldn't, but if she would just let him in a little, then maybe he could be a positive presence in her life. That was something, right? She was mean, and she was so far above him, but she was sad; sad in a way that he could recognize, and the only thing to do with that kind of sad is to drown it in happy. He wanted to make her happy. 
Buck had wanted to kiss her light and gentle, because he was scared that he would get her love drunk, and then she'd get embarrassed. He tried to get a lasso around his feelings and pull them back. This was how he got through the roughest sessions. He would just sort of empty himself out and try to give what was asked of him. 
Adagio hadn't asked, of course, but she needed him. She just didn't want to admit it, and so Buck decided to make it easy. 
When they kissed, nothing else mattered. Her hands were on his chest and his arms were around her. She was so soft and small and sweet and as she kissed him back, Buck found that it wasn't the ravenous tongue-fucking he was getting used to. It seemed that Adagio just wanted to stay in this moment with him. 
Buck's grip on Adagio tightened, but the moment was spoiled by a familiar voice.
"You have to stop." Starlight was kneeling on the dark carpet, writing some kind of sigil. There was a half-circle of chalk surrounding Buck and Adagio on the ground.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Buck's face was that of a man being told that his amazon package had been sent to the north pole. It was more confusion than outrage, but he was getting there. 
"I'm saving everyone in here. You need to get away from her, Buck." Starlight frantically drew some lines and stood, looking past Buck and Adagio.
"We were having a moment. Now that you've ruined it, are you satisfied?" The intent behind Adagio's words was like the scraping of a whetstone.
"I'll be satisfied when we're all safe, now move away from the glass!" Starlight commanded. There was a sound like a marble being crushed. Adagio looked over her shoulder, but Buck kept his eyes on Starlight. Her backward step was a little shaky. Buck squinted and felt Adagio take his hand. 
Buck turned his head just in time to see the tank wall buckle and blast outward. A thousand pounds of water carried countless shards of what should have been safety glass directly into his body. Buck couldn't believe that this was how he died. He didn't have time to flash through his life. Adagio's voice echoed from somewhere down the tunnel. 
Buck opened his eyes. He was surrounded on all sides by floating stars drifting in the rising clearness. His head turned as some large shape nearby quickly darted away. A piece of pot shard floated toward his face, bounced away, then came back and around him. He squinted. 
"Buck!" Adagio squeezed his hand. She wasn't looking at him, but god she was beautiful in this light. He wanted to take her to the Aquarium again and again just to see the light filtering through the water and onto her orange hair. Her free hand was outstretched. "Buck? Buck, snap out of it. We've got a bit of a situation on our hands." Adagio said it like she was reading the news.
A sparkling bubble of pinkish energy was surrounding them. On the other side was a wall of water. Buck's head spun with panic. His eyes darted. On the other side was Starlight Glimmer. She was yelling something, but he couldn't hear. She was dry. How? Beyond her, several people were looking over in confusion. There was an emergency exit just past them. A fire axe behind glass on the wall. Why the hell would you have a fire axe in an aquarium?
"Buck, I need you to focus...! I'm holding back many times our weight in water, but I won't be able to do it long if you can't focus! Look at me, Buck." Buck saw the energy around them swirl with a confusion of pearlescent colors. He heard a few drops hit the bench. They'd been sitting, but now Adagio was pulling Buck to his feet. "No, Buck, look at me. Right here!" 
Buck found her magenta eyes. 
"Buck, what was it you said just now?" Her words were coming out faster.
"I said...let me love you, Adagio." Buck's heart was hammering, but those eyes. Those eyes had him. And then she was kissing him again, and pushing on him and then Buck toppled over. He was still dry, and alive. He was looking at a cyan wall of force; this one going straight up to the ceiling. It was filled halfway with water. 
"It won't hold. We need to get clear!" Starlight said. Buck reluctantly took her hand and got to his feet. Adagio's back was turned to him. He fumbled to catch his eyes as they raced down to stare at her ass.
"Just a minute, urchin. Let me solve the problem instead of simply running from it." Adagio said. She extended her hands and the pink bubble popped. Buck watched in awe as the tiny shards of glass slid carefully into place like some kind of automated jigsaw puzzle.
"We don't have time. I don't know what you just unleashed, but it's only a matter of time before we have to get everyone out!" Starlight said. She was digging into her pockets for something else.
"Okay, you're goin' way too fast! What the fuck're you talkin' about, Glimglam!?"
"There's no time!" Starlight was halfway to the stairs. She looked over at concerned parents and gawking kids. "If you want to live, you better get out of here!" 
"Hey guys, does anyone else hear that?" It was Scootaloo. Apparently she had noticed the commotion. That is to say, the commotion outside. To Buck it sounded like splashes and screams. 
"Sunburst!" Starlight hit the stairs at a sprint. 
There was another sound. A much louder sound like fists on a screen door. The barrier before the tank blinked out. The water inside of it washed harmlessly over the floor. 
Inside the tank, the water had grown red and cloudy. Something inside bashed loudly against the glass wall that Adagio had just repaired. 
"Mommy? What's that?" A small voice said.
"Buck!" Adagio reached out. His hand was nearly in hers when the water came again. 
It was in his nose and his mouth. The world went black. Buck remembered his father. Then he coughed back to reality.
He touched the back of his head. Blood. Wall, behind him. Screams. Stinging eyes. Adagio was running toward him in the knee-high water. Starlight was nowhere to be found. Something snaked from the rush of water and snapped Adagio across the room. 
A yelp, another scream. Scoots was in that thing's grasp; the tendril was squeezing her and pulling. More screams around him. Act fast, act fast! 
Buck turned. Scared, wet faces, running. Panicking kids, frantic adults. The exit! Buck's boot kicked the push bar. A shrieking klaxon tore into Buck's ears, but water rushed out through the door. 
"Go, go, go, JUST GO!" Buck yelled in the direction of the people. Scoots was screaming and cursing. Buck turned. Adagio was up, but her hands were over her ears. Choose. 
Another glass shattered. The fire axe fell nearly onto Buck's knee, but he caught it. As he ran screaming towards the tentacle that had Scoots, Adagio sploshed past him and pointed a finger. There was a splash. The siren was replaced by the sound of a shattering bulb and then nothing. 
Buck wanted to say something heroic, but he instead screamed like a madman and flailed the axe at the thick, ropey appendage that was wrapped around his friend. The axe bit deep, and an unearthly howl shook Buck's eardrums, but the thing would not let go. 
"It's biting me, It's biting meeeee!" Scoots shrieked, her head rolling as she tried to thrash her way out. Buck chopped again. Half through. There was a stabbing pain all around Buck's ankle.  He was dangling, still wildly swinging the axe. He looked up. Below him, he heard a soft song and suddenly he splashed back down into the water. 
Above the rushing water, Buck saw Adagio step and gesture. It was so delicate and measured, like a ballerina, but the biting tendrils were falling in halves and quarters as the water around her scythed upward in time with her wheeling arms. 
"'dagio, get Scoots!" Adagio turned to Buck, and he could swear for a second that she licked her lips and smiled, but then she turned to where Scoots was being held.
Water lanced from the floor and came just short as the tendril dragged Scoots back through the destroyed tank wall. Her screams disappeared as the beast retreated. 
Adagio blinked, then turned to hold her arms out as Buck splashed through the water. He ran past her, for the stairs. She followed, leaving her smile behind. 

Starlight felt the dull ache in her leg about halfway up the stairs. The metal bits were already acting up. Carpet turned to wood and then thin metal bleachers as she saw him. Sunburst had made it. 
There was a whirlwind of yellowish light, and as a colorful, biting swarm lept from the water, they were batted aside. He had used the eagle feathers. Starlight squinted through the midday sun and saw Sunburst digging into her purse while a group of scared spectators chattered behind him. He was saying something to them. That was the face he made when he was telling Starlight to go to bed. The barrier wouldn't hold. He needed her. 
Starlight dug into her pocket. One piece of obsidian left; save the barrier for later. Moonstone; her ace in the hole. Not now. Two Shrike's beaks. Starlight looked around the amphitheater, searching for an answer. She saw it shining right in the middle of the dividing wall. Shrike's beak it is. 
Starlight started drawing arcane patterns on the bleacher beneath her feet. She'd need to get her hands on it, somehow, and she couldn't risk climbing on that wall when what used to be fish were attacking. 
Buck and Adagio came out into daylight on the other side of the tank. This was all their fault. Well, it was Adagio's fault, Buck just didn't know. Where was Scootaloo? 
"HEY! I need that trident that the statue is holding!" Starlight screamed across the water. Adagio looked her way and was about to completely ignore her, but Buck turned and saw Starlight point, started to get up on the barricade, then thought better of it. He was saying something to Adagio. She frowned. Buck kissed her cheek. She smiled and twirled a finger. The silvery trident pierced the bleachers just ahead of Starlight. A tendril of water retreated back into the tank. Adagio smiled with a red-eyed gaze that cut into Starlight. Fair enough.

"Sunburst! I'm comin' brother!" Buck swung the axe just in time to catch a dagger mouthed' clownfish that was flying toward Sunburst and company. Some kinda whistling topaz wind was swirling around them, but it was beginning to die down. Buck was not about to let a bunch of Finding Nemo ripoffs attack his best bro! He braced himself in front of the barricade and swung madly as colorful fish came leaping for his neck out of the tank. He could see a score of them hopping through the air over the dividing wall to charge him.
"Adagio! Can you get these people clear!?" Buck shouted. One of the fish was tearing at his shoulder. Another fell almost in half as Buck chopped and thrashed. He couldn't keep this up forever, but it would have to be enough. 
Tears stung Buck's eyes as he did his best. The whip of the wind in his hair was dying down. He hoped Sunburst was ready to run. More and more fish were emerging from the drink. What had happened to Scoots? The sound they made was like a rock tumbler full of needles. Was she alive? Please be alive! 
Buck cut down another, and another, but now one was at his thigh. Another at his elbow. The wind ceased. Another shoal of fish leapt over his head. 
A silver flash impaled a line of marauding fish. It spun, casting the bodies aside, then lanced through the air, catching another line. Buck pinned another with the backspike of the axe. He looked across the way and saw Starlight Glimmer walking slowly along the bleachers. Her finger was moving like the tip of a fishing pole. There was a cyan glow around her. 
With a metallic groan, a section of the bleachers fused together and draped over the amphitheater wall in the form of a rudimentary ramp. Sunburst was lifting a small child onto the ramp and into the arms of an adult. Adagio had her hands on the bleachers, grinning at Buck.  
Buck yelped as hot pain tore across his back. A blue and yellow monstrosity flopped to the bleachers. It had definitely been a tropical fish before, but now it was like a many-eyed parody of a piranha that was more teeth than anything else. 
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?" Buck shouted at Starlight as she power-walked over to him. The silver trident flew into her hand and rested heavily on her shoulder.
Starlight exhaled loudly, then looked at Sunburst, who was still busy with the rescue. Adagio was taking her time walking over. She was staring at the pool and casually whipping away any attacking fish with little tendrils of water. 
"Her. And you. Adagio has been leaking magic; didn't I warn you? You overloaded her, and the resulting magical feedback has torn a--a rift to equestria!" Starlight paused to catch a flying fish on the trident. It looked a little too big for her. Buck took a baseball swing at another one and ended up with what he thought was a pop fly.
"What!? How the fuck is this MY fault!? I'm just one guy!"
"It's really more her fault." Starlight shrugged. "Not the point! The point is that the rift is probably small enough that it'll burn itself out soon. The problem is whatever is down in that tank!" 
"Is that the thing that took Scoots!?" 
A blubbery roar shook the whole amphitheater as way more than eight tentacles rose from the depths of the tank. They were thick and bumpy and had suckers ringed with sharp teeth. One of those tentacles drooped with the weight of a struggling, coughing Scootaloo. 
"Somebody get me to Scoots!" Buck said it without thinking. 
"Get on!" Starlight had his hand, and yanked him onto the silver trident, which was floating horizontal in the air. Buck sat on it like a saddle and regretted that decision immediately as Starlight mounted it like a skateboard and willed it into the air. 
"Well shit, okay, Adagio, can you cover Sunburst?" Buck said, wincing.
"What do I get if I do that, Buck~?" Adagio said, swaying like a schoolgirl. Shit. He must've put too much sugar in that kiss.  
"My enduring gratitude?" Sunburst tried, helping an old lady onto the makeshift ramp.
"I'll uh, I'll treat you like I did on the morning after our first night! On toppa what you're already gettin' after this!" Buck said. That seemed to light a fire under Adagio. She twirled her fingers and water tendrils began smashing fish into the bleachers around her. 
"God, this is fuckin' killer on the soft bits; how do you witches manage?" Buck said as the trident slid through the air.
"I'm a warlock, get it right!" 
"Well damn, that's news to me! You're bein' real nonchalant 'bout this!"
"This is usually my Friday. Now hold on!" Starlight said. Buck's head spun as the trident flipped and twirled through the flailing tentacles. 
"I have a lot of fucking questions, Glimglam!" The trident dipped just out of the way of another tendril.
"I know, I know!" Starlight's teeth were gritted with focus. 
"Like why is this normal for you, and what the fuck is going on!?" 
"I KNOW! Fight now, talk later! This weapon familiar spell is about to wear off, so I have to drop you in there!" 
"In there!?" Buck shrieked as a mouth filled with teeth longer than his arms breached the surface of the water. 
"Just go!" The trident skidded and flicked Buck right off the end.
"GAAAAHHH YOOOOOU BIIIIITCH!" The momentum carried Buck over the tooth-ringed abyss. He did his best not to get impaled by the spike of the fire axe as he rolled along a tendril holding on to the dividing wall. It smelled like stale water and tasted like a bad fucking memory, but Buck flailed his legs under him until he was scrambling along in Scootaloo's direction. 
She was about fifteen feet up in the air, getting swung around in the beasts' grip. Buck didn't have time to think. He squared his stance as best he could and raised the axe like a lumberjack. The roar from below rose in pitch as up above the tentacle cringed open. He hadn't even swung yet. 
"catchmecatchmeCATCHMEEE!!!" Buck ran backwards and just barely managed to not fall straight into the drink as Scoots landed in his arms.
"What the fuck, how'd you do that!?" Buck tilted his head out of the way of Scoot's jabbing arms. She had a switchblade in either hand.
"KNIVES!" Scoots shouted in triumph. The tentacle undulated beneath them. Buck started running again.
"Where were you even hiding those!?" Buck said between ragged breaths. 
"SPORTS BRA!" The tentacle whipped, and then Buck and Scootaloo violently skidded like stones across the water.

"You look like you're having fun." At first Adagio thought the statement would be followed by a stab in the back. Instead, a silvery trident impaled a fish that had slipped through her water whips and leapt at her face. Starlight sounded a bit short of breath. 
"Hmph. It's been some time since I was last allowed to cut loose! It's refreshing, in a way. And what about you? It seems that you've been promoted from spy to grunt worker. What? Was Sunset not available to do the dirty work?" She felt Starlight's back against hers. She tasted a spicy rising anger. 
"I almost thought you did this on purpose. Incredible."
"What is, exactly? That I'm better at your job than you?" Adagio smeared another group of fish against the bleachers with a wave of the hand. 
"No, I thought you were trying to open a rift to Equestria using Buck, but you obviously weren't thinking of anything other than his dick."  In one deft spin, Adagio reached up into her hat and brought her fist around at Starlight. The wicked point of her hat pin caught a fish that was going for Starlight's neck. It would be so easy. Just push in a little bit. 
"My plan was to enjoy a lovely day on the boardwalk, then you had to stomp into my business on those gangly stork legs of yours and ruin everything!" Adagio hissed. There was a bashing sound nearby. A quake beneath Adagio's feet.
"Uh, ladies?" It was Sunburst. The last of the spectators had cleared the field. 
"Who exactly do you think you're kidding!? I followed you in case you did something nefarious, and look where we are!" Teeth were flying, and fishy bodies were falling in half as Adagio swung her arms with a dancer's grace. She didn't spare a glance, but could hear the squeals of fish being massacred at the end of Starlight's trident. 
"Oh so this is your strategy! Try and instigate me into doing something villainous, like fluttering my eyelashes and kissing Buck! Oh, bravo, miss monster hunter, truly I bow to your superior intellect!" 
"If either of you had even a tiny bit of control over yourselves, none of this would be happening!" Starlight shouted. There was blood all around them. They stepped away and turned on one another.
"Step aside, and I'll nip this problem in the bud. I am in control."
"You can't even control your own hormones."
"Starlight! Now is not the time!" Sunburst said, deftly ducking around flying fish. 
"...you're right. I need to clean up this mess--" She pointed the trident at the tentacles. "--before I get to that one." She pointed at a seething Adagio. 
"Ohh, you want to dance, little spy? Should I have that beast hobble me and make it a little more even?" Adagio smirked. Starlight took a step forward. Adagio didn't move. Sunburst was beating back a mutated fish with a textbook. 
There was a loud clanging thump as Scootaloo managed to roll onto the bleachers while Buck smacked into them face first.
"Buck? Buck, are you alright, Buck?" Sunburst had dropped the book and was hauling Buck onto the bleachers with great difficulty.
"Eeargh...holy shit bro how the fuck did Johnny Depp do all this shit?" Buck coughed. To his own pleasant surprise, he had not lost any teeth, but he was bleeding from the lip and his arms were already starting to bruise. With Sunbursts' help, Buck got to his feet. 
"Let's go again!" Scootaloo was back up and raring to go. She squeaked and ducked under a flying fish. 
"Buck, they're fighting. We've got to stop them!" Sunburst said.
"What're you talkin' about!? We've gotta get the fuck outta here!" Buck spat a few times before giving up on ever getting the taste of tank water off his tongue. 
"Buck, are you hurt? Anything broken? Do you need mouth to mouth?" Suddenly Adagio's hands were all over him. 
"Are you being serious right now!?" Starlight shouted. A calamitous crash rumbled the bleachers as the dividing wall crumbled. Tens of flailing tentacles extended from the water, blindly groping around. There was no sign of the bleeding tentacle that Buck had chopped into.
"We don't have time for this! We need to figure out what that thing is if we want to have any chance of beating it!"  Sunburst said, flipping rapidly through his book. 
A tentacle about the size of a redwood crashed into the bleachers on either side of the group. Adagio hummed a quick tune and a few ragged metal spikes grew from the bleachers, impaling the next closest tentacle to smash down. 
"Well, it's obviously some kind of octopus." Starlight said. The fish that were attacking were beginning to cower down below the surface of the water. The tentacle tried to flail free, but it was well stuck to the spike.
"Hah! Hardly. Have you ever seen an octopus with teeth in its suckers? It's clearly turned into some sort of squid."
The beast reared up from the water. Its eyes were huge and seemed to blinker between a pinkish glow and a black abyss. Its head was bulbous and round.
"Hah yourself! Does that look like the head of a squid?"
"Are you two seriously arguing right now!?" Buck looked around, searching for some kind of exit, but all he saw was Scoots trying to stab at a nearby tentacle and Sunburst shaking his head. 
"Stay out of this!" The women yelled in unison. 
"Well it's clearly more squid than octopus! Look at the diamond shaped tips on all the tentacles!" Adagio said. A flying slash of water cut a tentacle in twain. 
"You have got to be fisting me right now--WHO THE FUCK CARES WHAT IT IS! IT'S TRYING TO FUCKING KILL US!" Buck moved between the feuding women with a manic smile. "Starlight, what do you usually do when shit like this happens!?" 
"We either capture it and send it back--"
"The rift is already closed!" Sunburst said. A pebble in his hand glowed for a moment, then crumbled into dust. 
"--or we kill it." Starlight finished. Adagio spun and sent a slash of water flying at the beasts' head, but it deftly submerged itself. 
"Okay, okay, how do we kill it?" 
"That's what I'm trying to figure out! It's some kind of cephalopod and depending on what kind it might have its three hearts in different places!" 
"What if we stab it like a lot! Like a whole lot!" Scootaloo said. 
"I have enough magic in me for one or two more big spells, but after that, you're on your own. I could probably kill it in one hit." Adagio smirked.
"But then you'll be drained and useless." Starlight rolled her eyes. "And we don't even know if your attack would kill it." Adagio made to step to Starlight, but Buck held her shoulder.	
"No, she's right. I can't give you the kind of power you'd need for that; I'm just one man, and Scoots doesn't have any magic, I don't think. Sunburst? Starlight?" Sunburst held up two pinched fingers. Starlight just gave a sour look. 
"Okay. So Adagio, you're our ringer. Can you keep moving water around?" Buck said. Without him even noticing, Adagio's hand had slid over the one he had on her shoulder. 
"Easily, Buck." Adagio smiled. 
"Alright, alright, uh...okay. 'dagio, I need you to take most of the water out of the tank. That way that thing can't keep hiding and Sunburst can get a good look at it. It'll be easier to I.D. that way."
"Child's play." Adagio said. She had that thirsty look in her eyes again, that look that wordlessly told Buck that she was gonna ride his dick like she was trying to break it. 
"Starlight, I don't know what your kit is. What're you workin' with?" Starlight looked like she was going to backhand Buck, but she sighed instead.
"I've got components for another Weapon Familiar Spell, another Wall Spell, an Arcane Trap spell in my purse, and one other thing."
"Holding out on us, now?" Adagio teased.
"I don't want you to know all the cards in my hand." Starlight glared back. 
"Fine, great, whatever. Can you get me over to the monster, Starlight?" 
"Well of course I--wait, why?" 
"I'm gonna distract it. That's about the best I can do, here." Buck shrugged.
"I wanna come!" Scoots chirped.
"Scoots, now come on, you don't have to do this."
"That thing bit me, Buck! It bit me with it's arm! I hope those are arms! I'm gonna go bite it back! With knives!" 
"You could get hurt!"
"You're already hurt!"
"Okay, fine, fuck it, at least I'm not dyin' alone." The water across the tank began to bubble up. 
"It's coming back!" Sunburst said. 
"Okay, girls, keep Sunburst safe! Adagio, get rid of the water as soon as it looks away. Starlight?" Starlight nodded and pulled a piece of obsidian from her pocket. She had just finished drawing her spell circle. 
"Buck?" Adagio's voice was small and light.
"Yeah, Babe?" Buck said. Adagio looked stuck between demure and horny. 
"Buck, I hate how much I like it when you take charge like this." Adagio said. 
"What, am I only allowed to take command in the bedroom?" He wanted to kiss her so badly, in case this was the last time. Don't think about that. Try to stay calm. Smile. His legs were shaking. Adagio blinked. Red. Just for a second. 
The beast breached the water; its tentacles raised. Adagio leaned in. She licked the blood from Buck's lip. She hummed like she had just tasted a chocolate bonbon for the first time. 
The circle lit up. A bridge of shimmering cyan energy extended across the water. 
"Alright. Let's go!" Buck said. He pulled his hand free of Adagio's grasp, and then he and Scoots were charging, screaming like maniacs. 

As the tentacles flailed this way and that, hammering at the makeshift magical bridge just behind Buck and Scootaloo, Adagio felt time slow. She could taste it. Fear. So much fear in Buck's heart. And care for his friends and the heat that Adagio craved. And for just a moment, ahead of it all, was that spark. The little glint in his eye that Adagio had seen before. She'd seen it in Starswirl and his Pillars. 
A familiar, thirsty voice in Adagio's heart stirred in its slumber and spoke. 
She had never tasted the blood of a hero before. 
And then there was a roar as Buck's axe and Scootaloo's knives bit into the beasts' quivering head. 
"Move." Adagio's hands rose. The water stirred. 
"Excuse me?" 
"I won't ask twice." Adagio's red-eyed glare was all the incentive Sunburst needed to gently usher Starlight out of the way. 
Adagio slowed her breathing, then let a ponderous note leave her lips. She had to use every drop of magic inside her efficiently if she was going to win this engagement. The first few notes of her favorite composition rang out. Her hands moved slowly, rocking the water back and forth. The howls of the beast fell away. The day disappeared behind her eyelids. She could taste Buck's fear and courage. Starlight's consternation. Scootaloo's glee. Sunbursts' focus. They all fell away. 	Adagio's song charmed the water. It rushed at her like a throng of adoring fans, and then the tank was empty.

With a great deal of mental effort, Starlight made her wall spell flip up to act as a shield. Tendrils randomly whipped at her, Sunburst and Adagio's direction, but she moved the shield to deflect it. With every blow it cracked like a window in a hurricane. She wanted to throw up, she was so angry. It was like Adagio had flipped a small lake over the amphitheater wall. The tank was now just a concrete pit with some standing puddles, dying mutated fish and one especially angry cephalopod getting wailed on by two total novices to the monster hunting game. 
For Adagio Dazzle, this constituted 'child's play'. Starlight didn't want to look at Adagio. She just knew that the witch would be smiling at her. 
"Starlight? Are you in there?" Sunburst had taken her hand. 
"I'm fine, I'm fine. Can you see what that thing is?" 
"Well, that's just it, it looks like it's an octopus, but it's got something like fifteen or twenty squid tentacles and a toothy mouth and it's just a mess, I don't know." Sunburst was squinting at the book in his hand. Starlight pushed her boyfriend aside just as something crashed into the space where he had been standing. It looked like a chunk of concrete.

"Shit, shit, shit! It's just throwin' stuff now!" Buck was hammering desperately at the beast's head, but it seemed like he was getting nowhere despite all the roaring and the bleeding. At least Scoots looked like she was having fun.
"Take that, and that, and that!" Scootaloo was running up the head, dodging tentacles and occasionally breaking into a flurry of vicious stabs. Buck saw the beasts' arms flailing wildly, picking up chunks of the destroyed tank wall and tossing them up at his friends. Starlight was doing a good job of blocking the flying debris with her magic, but it looked like it was about to buckle. Buck needed to distract a little bit better. Scoots was going high, so he'd go low. 
Buck half skidded/half fell down the beast's length. He found one of its wheeling eyes and saw a pit of darkness with a tiny pink flame in it. The axe came down.

Up on the bleachers, Starlight finished another spell circle. The bloodstained silver trident rose from her hand again and floated horizontally. Another chunk of concrete shook the stands, but Sunburst and Starlight were soaring into the air astride the spear. She didn't bother looking for Adagio. 
"Any ideas, Sunburst?"
"No, it could be a kraken, I supposed but it's not much like any of these pictures! I don't know what it's weaknesses are!" 
"Then what good are you!?" Starlight barked.
"Starlight, that's hurtful." 
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm just--WOAH!" The trident dropped harshly to avoid a flying sculpture of a sea pony. It sailed overhead and probably landed somewhere unfortunate. 
"I'm doing my best here, but this is unprecedented! We've never faced anything made of a combination of two entities' magic, and I'm really struggling!"
"Sunburst?" Starlight whimpered. She looked down at Adagio's aloft hands, then up in the air. 
"What is it?" Sunburst followed Starlight's finger. He looked straight up. "MovemovemovemoveMOVE!"





An unfortunate distance away, Lightning Dust had just finished placing a ticket on an immaculate LC convertible. It had a custom purple finish and was polished to a mirror shine. There was some kind of decal of a golden gem over a musical note near the back. It was truly a beautiful, naughty thing if a little loud. But, it had also parked juuuuust close enough to the red line to warrant a fine, so what can you do? 
"DZL-VZN. Dizzle...daz...vizine? The hell?" 
As she took the license plate number down, she failed to see a shadow covering the sun for the briefest of moments.
An earth-shaking crash threw Lightning Dust to the ground. She looked up to see that some kind of pony statue had fallen and impaled the car's trunk, smashing right through the back tire.
She stood and dusted herself off. Checked for wounds. Clear. She laughed, shaking. 
"Well...At least I'm alright." She said, shaking her head. "Hope you've got good insurance, dumbass." The back tire deflated with a protracted hiss. The car sagged. The statue tipped right over onto where Lightning Dusts' cruiser was parked in the fire lane behind the convertible. With a hideous crunch, her windshield gave in, and so did the roof. 
The siren blared just as Lightning Dust started to swear.





"MOVE! NOW!" Adagio's voice carried the authority of a squall over the ocean. Buck was running before the last echo could bounce back. He looked up. He saw Starlight and Sunburst floating in the same direction he was running. He looked further up. Squinted. A massive orb of water was shifting, sharpening and finally freezing.
As Buck ducked under a flailing tendril, he saw the hint of a smile on Adagio's face up above him.
Her fist opened. The stake of ice pierced the monster and several feet of the concrete beneath it. The beast stopped its writhing and flailing. Scootaloo hung to the back of its head for dear life as the rubbery form sagged. 
There was a thud. On the bleachers, Adagio fell to her knees. 
"Well, that's one way to do it, I guess." Buck said. "Babe? Scoots? Y'all alright?" 
"Just need...to take a moment..." Adagio's voice sounded discordant and hoarse.
Buck could just barely make out a nasty look from Starlight and a shrug from Sunburst.
"I'm good! Heck, I'm less beat up than you, Buck!" Scoots had managed to climb back on top of the thing, and now she was walking along its deflating head. "See? It wasn't so tough!" 
The beast quivered. It shook and twisted and made a horrible squelching sound like somebody fucking a bowl full of gelatin.
"Scoots, why would you EVER say something like that!?" Buck groaned.
"Get clear, get clear!" Starlight shouted from high above. 
The beast stood. The lion's share of its tendrils coalesced into a disgusting parody of a set of unguligrade legs. It's destroyed eye knit back together. It blinked, and three other eyes blinked as well. Then seven more. Then countless eyes along its head, which might have been its back at this point. It shuddered like a vomiting cat, its toothy maw extending like a leech's mandibles. 
"Oh, I get it! I get it now! It's not an octopus or a squid!" Sunburst exclaimed with excitement. 
"Uh, guys...? Not sure what to do with this..." Scootaloo said. The eyes swiveled to glare up at her.  
"What do you mean!? What is that thing?" Starlight said. She turned the trident to aim down.
"Well, it's healing physical wounds and shifting into a different form with seemingly little effort! By my estimation, it can only be one thing!" Sunburst said, in his dissertation voice.
"It's a shoggoth!" Buck said. The beast made a sound that was like the unwanted child born of a laugh and a pained howl. It charged forward, smashing directly through the wall of the tank. There were screams; Scoots' being the loudest of all as she hung on. Buck cupped his hands around his mouth and hoped that Scoots would hear him.
"GO FOR THE EYES, SCOOTS! GO FOR THE EYES!"

Scootaloo had not planned for this. To be fair, she rarely planned for anything besides midterms, and even then the plan was to dick around for weeks and then cram at the last minute. This didn't seem like the kind of thing you could cram for. She had managed to get a knife sunken into the meat of this whatever-the-hell and now it was running. There was a crash and Scoots held on to the knife with both hands. That was probably the only thing that kept her from falling over the side. There was air rushing through her hair and her eyes stung and so did her nose because this thing stank like a million low tides and for some reason, it was kind of laughing. Well, little mouths that were sorta...swimming all over its body were laughing. The eyes didn't look like they had any emotion other than whatever you call it when your foot falls asleep.
Scootaloo's other knife was in her teeth. The beast crashed through something else, probably the ice cream stand based on the dismayed scream that it left behind. Her eyes snapped open. Ahead was a huge crowd of the people on the boardwalk, and they were running in a bunch of different directions and in some cases over each other to get away from the thing that Scoots was riding on. Right.
A few seconds and a million miles ago, Scoots had heard Buck scream out a piece of advice. Buck gave pretty good advice, so she followed it. 

Buck shuddered as the beast screamed. Even though it had taken a big lead on the group, it was so damn loud it sounded like it was right in his ear. Starlight and Sunburst had flew on ahead. Buck made for the hole in the wall, but he stopped mid jog and looked up.
"Adagio! Are you okay up there!?" 
"Just fiiiine Buck...! I could use a nap and some cunnilingus, but at least I managed to take it down!" She sounded halfway to delirious. Buck noticed that there weren't any stairs in the tank, but there was a ladder. She needed him. Scoots needed him to, but Sunburst and Starlight were on the way, he thought as he climbed. 
"Well, yeah, about that. It's on the loose, and it's got Scoots."
A bit of the color had run out of Adagio's hair. Her curly locks crinkled as Buck touched her. She was doubled over on her knees, and when Buck grazed her, she covered her face with her hands and turned away.
"Oh. Brilliant." Adagio coughed.
"Babe? Are you alright?" Buck tried to sound as soft as possible. In the distance he heard screams. 
"Don't look! Don't look at me, Buck!" Adagio croaked. She sounded like she'd been gargling rocks and acid. 
"Okay." Buck sat on the bleachers next to Adagio, turned away. "How can I help, Adagio?"
"No time...just hold still." The hairs on Buck's neck prickled under Adagio's cold breath. Her trembling arms slid around his shoulders. A light scraping of her nails on his neck. 
"You're trembling..."
"So're you. You're thirsty." Buck said, motionless.
"You're afraid." A deep, shaking breath by his ear. Her nails sunk into his neck, like his head was caught in an iron maiden. Her hair floated around him. "Why haven't you run, Buck?" A wet coldness dragging up his trapezius. A low, shuddering moan.
"Because...you said you wouldn't hurt me." Buck whispered.
"Close your eyes, Buck." He exhaled. The world went dark. He was sure that she would kill him then. Rip his throat open and let the blood spray into her mouth. Open his skull and scoop out his brains. Her nails dragged up to his chin. She turned his head. An almost painful nibbling on his lip. 
Her lips against his. Her sweet sighs in his mouth. Her weight in his lap, then on top of him. Her warmth. 
He opened his eyes. The midday sun burned in her orange hair. His blood was on her cheek. Her eyes were smoldering pink. Her hands were cupping his face.
"You pick the weirdest times to come on to me." Buck smiled. Adagio's shoulders shook. She threw her head back, cackling with her hand on her forehead. Buck couldn't believe that a laugh could be so wicked and so genuinely cheery at the same time. 
"You know what, Buck? I've figured it out. Why I find you so infuriating." Adagio laughed down at him. Her hair was like a curtain against the sun.
"Oh, great. D'ya have the cliffnotes?  'Cause I don't think we have time for every volume you've written." 
"It's because you are impossible to hate." Adagio said. She reclined atop him, hands on his chest and under her chin. Her smile was like a collection of antique ivory daggers. "If you keep this up, I may start falling for you, and you desperately don't want that, Buck~" She said. Buck rolled his eyes, but his smile didn't leave.
"Okay, well, I'll take it that means you're good to go. Think you can bust that monster?" 
"Probably not, Buck. Unless of course you want to fuck me silly right here, I think I'm only good for interference."
"Ah, okay. So were in the same boat." Buck tapped Adagio's thigh twice, and she reluctantly slid off his lap and helped him up. "Ugh. Everything hurts." 
"You're bleeding, Buck." Buck reached out and wiped the drop of blood from Adagio's face. At least one of them should go without a ruined outfit today.
"Yep. Nothing broken yet, though. So, to recap; there's a shoggoth tearing up the boardwalk,"
"And Scootaloo is riding it."
"I'm armed with, like, a fire axe and my personality,"
"I've a very sharp hat pin and enough magic for some petty parlour tricks."
"Sunburst and Starlight have barely any magic between them,"
"And Starlight very specifically does not want to cooperate with me."
"And on top of all that, it's real fuckin' bright out, and you're the only person that was smart enough to bring a sunhat."
"Shall we?" Adagio waved a hand. The ice spear in the tank melted into a rushing stream that went up and over the transmuted metal ramp from before.
"We shall." Buck took Adagio's hand, and the two hopped onto the makeshift water slide.





"Everyone get out of the way! Monster on the loose!" Sunburst called down to the people below, just ahead of the rampaging shoggoth. At least two souvenir stands and one ice cream shop had been destroyed already, and a lot of people were rightfully fleeing for their lives. There was a pause, and Sunburst couldn't bring himself to act surprised when a chunk of the crowd just backed slowly and around the creature, holding up their camera phones. "So much for keeping a low profile." 
The trident lowered down to the ground just behind the crowd. Starlight kicked a bit of rubble around, then started drawing lines in chalk.
"Eh. Everyone knows that Canterlot is weird. The Rainbooms were kind of an open secret, and so are we. There's a whole subreddit that argues all day about our shipping names." Starlight said.
"Do they know we're dating?" Sunburst said.
"There's debate. Some of them think I'm your sister." There was an horrible roar and then a crunch. A fire hydrant went flying. 
"Why?"
"They're into that, I guess." 
"Oh, I think I'm going to be sick..." Sunburst gagged. 
"Are you keeping an eye on Scootaloo? How is she doing?" Starlight said. 
"Scoots is...well, she's stabbing it in the eyes, and it doesn't seem able to shake her off, and it is...sort of galloping and bucking in one general area, so I'd say she's doing great for her first day at this!" 
"So she's still alive. That's good." Starlight stood up and cracked her back. She placed a petrified orb weaver spider from her purse into the spell circle. Ahead of her was the 'Button Mash Arcade', shockingly still intact. Behind her was a curtain of gawkers taking pictures of the shoggoth as Scootaloo hung on for dear life. 
"GUYS I COULD REALLY USE SOME HELP! MY ARMS ARE FALLIN' ASLEEP!" 
"You're doing great, Scoots!" Sunburst gave her a thumbs up.
"The Arcane Trap is done. We can capture it if we can get it over here."
"Sure, but what about killing it? It's a shoggoth; you need a spell strong enough to atomize it if you want to kill it." Sunburst said.
"That's where this comes in." Starlight lifted up a beautifully carved moonstone gem. Sunburst squinted at it, seemed to understand, then nodded. 
"So we need to get it here where we can immobilize it. The question is how?" There was another blasphemous laughing shriek, then a squeal as Scootaloo flew through the air. Starlight Glimmer hastily stepped to the right, then managed to catch a now blushing Scoots in her arms.
"Oh, uh, thanks, uh...Glimglam." The bundle of gay nerves formerly known as Scoots squeaked.
"Don't call me that." Starlight carefully lowered Scoots down. Past the throng of onlookers, the horrible beast screamed in triumph and began a gallop at the shoreline.
"It's goin' for the lake! Don't let that fucker turn into a lake cryptid! 'dagio, turn him around!" It was Buck. He was riding some kind of living stream of water, holding onto Adagio's waist. Sunburst heard a high, warbling note, and the lake water just past the beach rose up into a humanoid form. The note became a banshee wail as the figures' watery features twisted into what was best described as a medusa with sharks for hair instead of snakes and screaming skulls for eyes, which then surged forward, wetting the boardwalk and the pants of many an onlooker. 
The beast gibbered back in Sunbursts direction, bounding over the crowd, but before it could sink its teeth into the group a lasso of water dragged it backwards by the leg. 
"HAAAH!" After a frantic sprint, Buck smashed the blade of the axe into the beast. Blue blood spurted all over his already ruined outfit as he dug in deep. Adagio walked around to the other three, holding the other end of the water tendril with the tip of her hat pin. 
"So, Buck has a plan."
"What a shame; we have a better one. We're going to trap the thing and then I'm going to obliterate it with a spell." Starlight said.
"That's actually the same as Buck's plan, but worse because I'm not the one doing the blasting." Adagio said. 
"Why not both?" Scootaloo shrugged and started to walk back towards the melee, knives drawn. Adagio put a hand out. 
"Scootaloo, Buck had an important task for you. Deliver this note, if you please?" Adagio slapped a little sticky note on Scootaloo's shoulder. She tore it off, read it, then sneered.
"Are you serious!?"
"He seemed as serious as ever, and you're the fastest. Go on then, little birdie." Adagio smirked. Scoots opened her mouth to complain, then remembered her wager, nodded with a blush and ran off toward the other end of the boardwalk. 
"What are you doing?" Starlight spat. 
"Following his lead?" Adagio tilted her head at Buck. He had scored a few gashes on the beast, but they knit back together. Buck seemed undaunted. 
"And why should I trust you?" 
"Look. I know you aren't fond of me."
"Understatement of the decade. I have a list."
"And I'm sure you'd have a terrible time trying to articulate that list through your ruined face if we happened to fight, but Buck has decided that he doesn't want anyone else to get hurt today, and so I'm going to help him protect all the gawping neanderthals on this boardwalk. Can you play nice for just a moment while we sort this out?" Adagio said. Starlight just glared at her.
"...Starlight has a chunk of moonstone that will allow her to cast a Redirection Spell. She's going to absorb the magic that is powering that monster and then shoot it all back at it in one attack." Sunburst said. Starlight looked at him like he'd just cheated at a scrabble tournament.
"Sunburst!" Starlight shrieked. Over her shoulder, Buck scored another blow on the monster, but the wound blossomed open and a bunch of tendrils came spilling out. Buck unleashed a stream of girlish screams in response, but the tendrils started wrapping around him, either undaunted by the yelling or encouraged by it. 
"There's no time! I think Scoots is right, we should work together! What's your spell, Adagio?" Sunburst said.
"I was going to drain a bit of emotion from every person in this crowd, then fry the beast with a blast of the resulting magic." Adagio said. She sneered as the leg she had snared twisted into a series of tendrils and out of her watery clutches.  
"I could use some fuckin' help over here!" Buck's muscles were already starting to ache and tingle from all the action. The beast's gleeful roar was all Buck could hear. The sight of his friends arguing blurred and then he felt a rib-rattling thud as he was slammed into the boardwalk. He dropped the axe. 
Adagio turned back to the fight and flicked her wrist. The tentacle fell in half behind Buck, slashed by a blade of shaped water, but the part of it around Buck continued to squirm and lash and try to pin his arms. Adagio stepped forward to strike again, but there was a squeal. The tendrils cringed back with bloody perforations. The spiked bands around Buck's wrists were coated in its blue ichor.
"Thanks, Sis." Buck whispered. 
"Okay. So the plan hasn't changed. We've got to get it over here and keep it still while the trap activates. What's the play?" Sunburst said. 
'I think Buck has that handled." Adagio smiled.
"COMIN' THROUGH!" People jumped out of the way as Scootaloo came rapidly wheeling a dolly cart with some kind of large crock pot on it. A bit of orange liquid was trailing down the side. The beast sniffed the air despite its lack of a nose, then tossed Buck to the ground and began loping toward Scootaloo. "NONONONONO BAD DAY BAD DAY!!!" The crowd parted further to allow Scootaloo to run in circles with the cart, the shoggoth hot on her heels. 
Buck wandered over to the group. 
"My life is a Doof meme." He mumbled.
"What do you mean?" Sunburst said. The whole crew jumped aside as the shoggoth skidded around. 
"If I had a nickel for every time I've been molested by magical tentacles, I'd have two nickels." Buck said, shaking his head. 
"BUCK WHAT AM I DOING WITH THIS!?" Scoots screamed. The beast was gaining on her, it's tentacles lashing and smashing holes in the wood underfoot. 
"Bring the curry over here, Scoots!" Buck yelled. 
"OKAAAAAY!" Scootaloo turned and nearly spilled the whole pot, then ran at the arcade with the beast right behind her. The group scattered; Buck, Sunburst and Starlight going one way, Adagio the other.
"You sent her to get curry!?" Starlight balked. She stabbed at a tendril that was about to smash Sunburst.
"TAPPING OUT!" Scoots screamed, then threw her hands up and leapt behind Adagio. The shoggoth stopped just in front of the spell circle, sniffed at the pot...then started inhaling it like a pig at a trough of scraps, which is to say so messily that only a few people filming it managed to get out of the splash zone. 
"It's Saff's special curry! I figured the thing would eat it and then be so contented that it would be an easy target!" 
The beast snarfed down the entire pot with a groaning screech. For a moment, it sat on the ground like a dog eating table scraps, but then something went wrong. The shoggoth shuddered and began turning a scabby red. It's mouths began to cough and exhale as the creature shook. Several onlookers ran for the hills as the creature roared and began to flail on the ground in obvious agony.
"What's it doing, what's it doing!?" Starlight shouted.
"Couldn't handle the spice I guess!" Scoots snickered. 
The shoggoth lashed out in torment, it's tendrils crashing through the boardwalk and the windows of the arcade. The neon sign crunched to the ground and sent splinters and glass flying everywhere. A tentacle threatened Adagio and found itself sliced in half on the ground for its trouble.
"Oh, good job, Buck, now it's throwing a tantrum!"
"I'm doing my fucking best here, I--" A tentacle came whipping around and smacked Buck so hard that he went spinning through the air. He landed on his side with a sickening crack. "--GAAAAHHH MY FUCKING ARM!!!" Sunburst was at his side in flash.
"Buck! Are you okay?" Sunburst said. There was a pause.
"NOOOOO!" Buck wailed. 
"Okay, you're done. Let's get you out of here!" Sunburst picked up Buck by the other arm and hastily lead him away. The beast was meanwhile smashing all over the boardwalk with a pained shriek, still several feet away from the trap circle.
"Wait, what're we gonna do now?" Scoots said from the relative safety of Adagio's shadow. Adagio was humming a quiet tune, and little trails of color were wisping and winding their way to a small cloud of energy beneath her feet..
"Why dont'cha challenge it to a game of ping pong!?" Buck shouted.
"Not helping, Buck!" Scoots said.
"No, that's actually a good idea. Fancy a game, little birdie? You can use that paddle that you stole!" Adagio said. She reached, and a tendril of water handed her a paddle that was plucked from somewhere inside the arcade.
Scootaloo looked down, then up at Adagio, then down and away.
"I didn't steal it, I just forgot it was in my pants..." She simpered.
"Oh, just move." Adagio pulled Scootaloo by the wrist until the two were both sprinting and ducking and weaving around the rampaging monster. Adagio was dimly aware that Starlight Glimmer was crouching down with a piece of chalk, flipping off cameras aimed at her, and otherwise being useless. Typical. 
"Ready!?" Scoots skidded to a halt, taking a stance. Adagio lifted a hand, forming a ball of wavering pink energy the size of her head. The paddles began to glow. 
"My serve!" She smashed the ball.
Comments online would later call this the weirdest and possibly hottest thing to ever happen on the Canterlot boardwalk. The last hottest thing was when some random lady with huge badonkers randomly stumbled into the wet T-shirt contest and instantly won when she stepped on the hose. 
What people saw was a woman in a witchy outfit volleying a ball of energy back and forth with a girl that had a thematically soaked T-shirt. 
Across from them was a hentai monster, which was getting pelted backwards by the whizzing energy ball. It made sounds that indicated that it was not fond of this treatment, but nobody cared what it thought. What people cared about with this; the beast kept getting hit, until it started to shrink away from the attack, in the direction of a lightly glowing circle on the ground. 
The sigils erupted in a blast of stringy cyan energy, which wrapped the shoggoth up and dragged it to the center of the circle. It was immobilized. The crowd watched on as Starlight Glimmer extended the trident she'd been lugging around, a shimmering speckled stone held against the hilt. There were gasps as a haze of color somewhere between 'pink' and 'void' started to pull from the monster and into the tip of that trident. 
The exciting chattering of the crowd was delicately snatched and wadded up in the space between Adagio's hands. Her eyes shut in focus as she hummed a tender melody. The crowd tasted mostly of confusion. Fear, excitement and astonishment as well. It all mixed together in a sticky, undulating mass of purplish something-or-other. Adagio's hands drifted all around the mass to stabilize it. Working with this stuff was infuriating. 
The trap kept shooting sticky strands of force, trying to wrap the creature up as much as possible, but they were beginning to snap from the strain. Across the way, sitting on a park bench, wincing as Sunburst looked over his arm, Buck couldn't help but wish things had gone easier. And yet, a more exhausted corner of himself was exhilarated. The rest of him was in excruciating pain. 
Starlight and Adagio remained immobile on either side of the creature. A string snapped. The lighted circle flickered. 
"Uh, guys?" Scoots said.
"I know, I know. Just a few more seconds..." The ball of energy before Adagio had inflated to the size of a watermelon. It was kicking up dust and whipping Adagio's hair around. Scootaloo looked around frantically. The boardwalk planks groaned as the beast shook with effort. More strings snapped.
Adagio sucked in a bit of drool that threatened to escape her lips. The power was intoxicating. It was unstable and ludicrous, but the panic of these people was deliciously potent. It would be so easy to just...take a little drop more. It felt so good to hold power in her hands again. To Adagio's private surprise, she saw that Starlight had a smirk on her face that seemed to hold the same meaning. The gangly woman's entire body was shaking as she tried to contain the energy at the edge of her implement. Stray bolts of force lanced off it and struck the ground.
A war was waging inside of Starlight's head. Sweat was rolling down her face and her muscles were aching. She had never held so much magic power at once, and the only thing keeping the trident in her hands was her refusal to admit that this was too much power. She had about as much control over the magic as a wakeboarder has over the boat in front of them. She could taste the emotion on her tongue; fear and anger and so much love, like the love she felt for Sunburst but louder and hornier and more obnoxious. Was this how Buck felt for Adagio? Or was it the other way around?
The beast broke free, and with a gibbering cry of pain and triumph, it swiveled it's endless eyes at the crowd. A brick smashed into the side of its head. It paused and saw Scoots picking up another one. 
"Are you serious? Another brick?" Adagio said.
"What? Bricks work!"
"JUST LIGHT THE THING UP!" Buck screamed from the audience.
"Adagio's hurled her blast of magic at the beast with a flick of the wrist. Starlight's blast was more like a fire hose which knocked her clean off her feet.
The boardwalk shook, and to those a few blocks away, it seemed like a dwarf star had just gotten frustrated with life, threw itself to the floor, and after kicking and screaming for a while, decided to just supernova and get it over with. A shower of purplish pink spurs streaked up into the sky, shimmering into strange shapes and patterns that threatened to blind anyone nearby. Bucks eyelids were filled with swirling stars as he looked away, while Scootaloo ducked and cowered under the bench he was sitting on. Sunburst's face was like an arsonist at a fireworks factory.
When the spots cleared from everyone else's eyes, there was a crater in the boardwalk and no evidence besides video that anything else had been there prior.

A camera shutter clicked as Adagio and Starlight walked in a ponderous lockstep over to the bench where Buck and Sunburst were sitting. They refused to look at each other.
"Well, that was a disaster." Starlight said. Her trident had melted into something more like a shepherd's crook.
"More of an amateur production." Adagio shrugged. Her hat had blown off to it's own adventure somewhere; possibly to therapy for what it had witnessed. There was the sound of an ambulance drawing close.
"Oh fuck, oh fuck, naw, naw, don't let them see me! I can't fuckin' afford a ride in an ambulance!" Buck said, getting up.
"Buck, your humerus is broken in there. At least let them give you a sling!" Sunburst placated.
"Honestly. Buck, I'll pay for whatever the bill is for your emergency care, just relax." Adagio smiled. 
"...and I can use some components to speed up the healing process." Starlight admitted. To everyone's shock, she continued. "You did good out there. You all did." Starlight stared out over the water.
"Holy crap, is that the first compliment you've ever given me. That looked painful, are you alright?" Buck laughed.
"Don't make me punch you in the arm." Starlight growled.
"It's a shame, though. I would have liked to study it at least a little more. It was probably one of a kind." Sunburst mused. 
"Oh? I thought you might." Adagio smirked, tossing a bundled up something at Starlight Glimmer. It unfolded into a quivering, biting tentacle that had once belonged to the shoggoth. Starlight immediately began cursing Adagio's name and struggling with the wriggling menace. The tentacle wrapped around her arm and tried to bite at her face with its suckers.
"Woah, when did you have time for...when were you...nevermind." Buck said, giving up.
"Oh, oh, get it into your purse! Right here!" Sunburst opened the mouth of the bag wide, but instead of tossing the tentacle in, Starlight threw it at the ground and impaled it with the melted tip of the tridents' handle. It twitched slightly as she picked it back up. 
A sound of tromping feet approached the party as the remaining crowd split. A pale purple woman in a smart suit held a microphone, while a brown-skinned, blonde haired man held a boxy 4K camera. They were being led by a vaguely college aged kid with skin like coffee creamer and short brown hair holding an old-fashioned camera.
"There they are! Those are the guys that beat the monster!" The kid said. Scootaloo squinted. He looked sort of familiar, but she couldn't remember from where and it didn't matter, because the lady suit pushed him aside and held out the microphone.
"I'm Snappy Scoop with CTVN! How would you all like to get the first word about what happened here!?" The woman barked. Buck looked at his companions, felt Adagio's hand slip into his and sighed.
"Fine, fine. Guys, do you wanna go get shawarma after this?" 





Ditzy Doo's Saturday had started in kind of a crummy way. Sugar Cube Corner was closed on Saturdays, so Ditzy spent it with Dinky and with her hobbies. Dinky had been despondent this morning. She had gone ahead and put the little animals bones on the friendship bracelets, and now everyone in the school yard was calling her Gravedigger Dinky, which was a cool name, Dinky said so, but she didn't like how it sounded when kids threw it at her. 
Ditzy Doo promised Dinky that since she couldn't bring her to the zoo, she would be sure to spend a lot of time with her between selling crafts at the upcoming ren faire, and that had really lit up Dinky's eyes. She loved the faire. The rest of the day then was Dinky happily coloring and messing around on Ditzy's tablet. She had started a long nap around an hour ago. It was now close to sunset, and Ditzy was starting to worry that the nap would muss up Dinky's sleeping schedule.  Ditzy spun her yarn and worked on some hand made soap, and for maybe the first time in the last good while, she had a little peace. 
Ditzy was right in the middle of getting ready for her dance lessons when she just happened to flip to the local news. She had gotten into the habit of doing that before a planned drive, just in case there was weather or some kind of event, like that time she bumbled onto the beach and came back all wet with a T-shirt on.
Ditzy was just getting on her dancing shoes when she saw a familiar face.
It was Buck! His jacket was in tatters, he had bandages all over and his arm was in a cast, but he was smiling, if a little uncomfortably at a microphone next to his face. His name was even on the screen, with a little caption that was semi-accurate.
Ditzy flailed for the remote and turned up the volume. 
Buck; Age 28, Male - 'Karaoke Fan, Man About Town' laughed and shook his head. "No, no, we don't actually know where the hell that thing came from. Buncha dumb magic stuff, you know, it's like summer rain, ya can't predict it!" Behind him, someone nearly fell into a hole in the boardwalk. "What I'll say is this; I wouldn't've made it if it weren't for these guys." The camera swiveled to follow Buck's tilted head, where Sunburst, Scootaloo and Adagio were posing for pictures with people.
"So what's a shoggoth?" Scootaloo said. Sunburst gasped in surprised joy, while Buck twirled his hand in thought.
"Well, it's--" The feed cut to another shot.
"Canterlot Locals are calling this the 'weirdest thing since that time with the giant woman in the mall' and 'like the thing with the vines at Camp Everfree, but way more violent!" Said a booming voice.
Sunburst; Age 30 (?), Male - 'Local Bookworm and Trivia Champion' shook like a leaf in the wind as he stared directly into the camera. "W-W-Well, it was some sort of cephalapoidal creature that had regenerative abilities! It...it was very violent and seemed intent on escaping into the ocean, but we managed to trap it and shut it down before it could escape!" As Sunburst spoke, a shaky camera feed popped up in the corner, showing a clip of a bunch of weird white strings wrapping up the creature, then Scootaloo riding it like a mechanical bull, then Buck hacking at it with a fire axe before getting wrapped in its tendrils. 
Ditzy Doo's eyes widened in horror. 
"Did you use magic, sir?" 
"M-Me? No, no, no, I'm more about the researching of these sorts of uh...esoterica!"
"So you just stood on the sidelines, then?"
"What? Well, no I wouldn't say that." 
The feed cut to a an over-the-shoulder view of Sunburst flipping rapidly through a book, back at the aquarium. Ahead of him, the fight against the monster was raging. The feed cut again.
"Eye witnesses claim that the monster broke through the aquarium tank wall and started rampaging through the boardwalk with some 'weird little boy riding it'."
Scootaloo; Age 25, Gender Unknown - 'College Athlete, Wet T-shirt Contest Winner' gestured wildly, punching the air. "And then it was all like 'RAAAWR I'M LIKE AN ALLEGORY FOR MULTICULTURALISM OR SOMETHING!' And then it kicked over that sweet ice cream stand like BWAAAH and the whole time I'm up top just stabbing and stabbing at the eyes, but there were somehow like way more eyes than I could stab, it was NUTS!"
"What do you have to say about the rumors that you've used performance enhancing drugs to keep up with the younger college sprinters?" Scootaloo's frown was like discovering a sharp pebble in your shoe. She grabbed the microphone.
"I know that's you spreading those rumors, Silver Spoon! You owe me twenty bucks for that race, you twerp!" 
The feed cut again. As Ditzy Doo tried to process what she had just seen, Dinky Doo arose both from her nap and in front of the screen.
"Mama mama mama! Didja see? Didja see!? Buck's a superhero! Did you know!? How long has he been a superhero, mama?? Does he know the Mare Do Well!?" Dinky was vibrating at a frequency reserved exclusively for expensive crystal tuning forks and, Ditzy supposed, six-year-olds. Her tiny hands were bapping in Ditzy's lap, and her excited eyes eclipsed the screen. If Ditzy could see past her daughter, she might notice Starlight Glimmer; 'Occultist, Tentacle Enthusiast' rattling off that if something like this happens again, the best thing to do is to calmly get out of the way instead of standing around with your phone. Ditzy may have also noticed the tentacle that Starlight was holding suddenly seize up and jab up her nose for a second before the feed cut. 
"I don't, I didn't! You should ask him when he gets home!" Ditzy said. She patted the space next to her and Dinky hopped onto the couch to snuggle up.
"Would you say that you are reformed, now that you are protecting Canterlot from magical monsters?" Said a voice off screen. Adagio Dazzle; Age Unknown, Female - 'Former Villainous Water Witch, One-Hit Wonder' looked at the camera as if a sentient pile of dung were holding it, then collected herself and spoke.
"What I would say is that's all very relative. We've all made mistakes in the past, certainly, but you have a do-over with every new day. Reformation doesn't enter into it; it's called 'Living Life'." Adagio said, with an evil grin. 
"I see...you were the lead singer of the pop group 'The Dazzlings'. Is it true that you are the leader of this new group?" On the couch, Ditzy Doo watched in horror, while Dinky hid behind a couch pillow. 
"Oh, of course not! While I'd call myself essential to today's victory, the real tactician of today was--" Adagio looked around. In the background, Ditzy frowned as she saw Buck taking a selfie with about five or six women. "--Buck! Buck, would you come here for a second?" Adagio shouted. Buck bashfully parted the crowd of girls and stepped over to Adagio, who took him by the hand and pressed her breasts against his arm. "As I was saying, the real tactician of today was my boyfriend; Buck." Adagio hissed at the disappointed girls, who scattered like a flock of frightened pigeons. There was a feed in the corner of the screen that showed Buck from a few angles. One was him yelling about curry, another was Starlight Glimmer yelling about the same curry, but angrier, and another was Buck yelling to 'light it up' off screen before everything went purple and pink and then white. 
Buck raised an eyebrow at Adagio and started to say something, but Adagio silenced him with a passionate kiss. There was a chattering chorus of gossip from the crowd and the flashes of many camera phones. A crappy heart filter bled into the edges of the screen in a freeze frame with a tagline under it reading; 'The Shape of Water?'.
The feed in the corner showed Buck in the moment that the shoggoth's tentacle broke his arm.  
"And there you have it folks! Our precious Canterlot boardwalk; saved by the most unlikely of heroes! Where did the creature come from? What will Canterlot's defenders do if more appear? And what's in store for the cities' newest power couple? Whatever the answers are, you'll hear them here first! I'm Snappy Snopes, and this is CTVN! Join us is the next hour for tonight's round table discussion. In the wake of another heroic foiling of a bank robbery in D.C. the question on everyone's mind is obvious; 'What is the Mare Do Well's gender?'
The controller clicked, then dropped out of Ditzy's hand. Dinky Doo looked up at her mother, who had a look of shivering shellshock on her face. 
Boyfriend.
The word was a brick thrown through Ditzy's window. Adagio had claimed Buck on the news, in front of the whole city. Buck didn't disagree. She kissed him, and he held her and kissed her right back. How could he?
No. This wasn't Buck's fault. Buck had said a million times that he wanted nothing to do with magic anymore, and yet there he was fighting for his life against some big nasty. Because he was on a date with Adagio. 
Ditzy wondered then what she could have done. She could have pinned Buck to the bed and told him everything; shown him everything. He liked girls that were direct. She could have talked to him at work yesterday, after she saw him kiss her and told him flat out that he should cancel the date. Tell him you're not mad about the kiss.  Tell him that you wanted to take him out dancing. Tell him you want to snuggle up with him on the couch and watch cartoons. Tell him that you need him in your life. That Dinky needs him, and that if he keeps hanging around Adagio, all she's going to do is hurt him.
Tell him how much you love him. Just three words. If Ditzy wasn't such a sheepish coward, none of this would have happened.
But no, really it was nobodies' fault but Adagio. Every time Ditzy took a step toward Buck, Adagio dragged him down the road. What in the world did he see in her? It didn't matter. Adagio had won; she had Buck, and now they were sort of local celebrities together, and everyone in town knew that they were dating. If Ditzy Doo didn't get him away from her soon, her poor Buck would be trapped in a relationship that could only get more toxic.
Ditzy often cried in times like these, but her eyes were dry. She wasn't sad; she was furious. Buck needed someone to protect him, clearly, and Ditzy had failed to do that. Just a kiss wasn't enough. 
But then, if Buck and Adagio were properly dating, then what could she really do? Buck was a straight-laced guy, and he was the loyal type, so he wouldn't cheat on Adagio.
Wouldn't he? She and Buck had already kissed, after all, and he had said that they should talk about it when they were ready. Ditzy still wasn't ready, but she would do whatever it took to protect Buck from Adagio. She snapped back to reality as a tiny hand grabbed hers. She was standing.
"Mama?" Dinky looked terrified. Ditzy lifted her daughter into her arms, despite the soreness of her back. She hugged Dinky tight to her chest.
"The TV said she's a witch. Did she cass a spell on Buck?"
"I don't know, sweetheart."
"I'm scared, Mama. Is Buck gonna go away with that mean lady?"
"No, sweetheart, no he's not. He won't, because he's got us, his bestest muffin buddies!" Ditzy said, giving Dinky a little eskimo kiss on the nose. She seemed to calm down and rub the tears from her eyes.
"We're gonna save Buck from the mean old witch?"
"That's right, Dinky. You and me! Now, mama has to finish getting ready for her class. Can you be a big girl and get into your pyjamas? Carrot Top will be here soon."  
"Okay, Mama!" Dinky rolled out of her mother's arms and ran for the bedroom. 
Ditzy smiled and waved until her daughter closed the bedroom door behind her. Then she picked up a couch cushion and screamed into it like she was giving birth to a shard of glass.
She thought it would help steady her nerves.
It did not. 





In the time between now and everything that happens next, it is important to maintain a sense of scale. It is obvious by now that tiny little changes, little rifts in one's expectations can have massive ramifications down the line.
If one were to pause reality in just this moment, on this broadcast, it would seem pretty clear what happened. In a city known for incredible happenstance, something truly bizarre had happened after a seemingly long dry spell of the paranormal.
In the time between now and the moment Twilight Sparkle stepped through a mirror to chase up an old student of Celestia's, we can consider the amount of strange happenstances that occured in and around the Rainbooms. In the case of calamities, it is always the frequency that determines how it is perceived. Imagine an earthquake has torn through the main street area of your hometown. If it happens once, it's a tragedy, but if it happens every year, it's normal. Jump forward a few hundred years and it's a festival.
Now imagine a massive fire that could have been prevented. A disaster caused by the innocent flicking of a matchstick, or a bonfire left ignored. Imagine the blazing destruction of swathes of forest. Imagine the loss of life. Now, imagine this happens three times during the months of june and may, every year. It is no longer a disaster; it's just 'Fire Season'.
Crazy magical happenstance had been regarded in a similar way since the most exciting Fall Formal in the history of CHS. After all, nobody ever got hurt, and those girls seemed good at handling things. It was just a little speck of weird against the chaos of our media. Easily taken as a hoax, disproved with facts and logic or blamed on mass hallucination. Stranger things happened on Twitter, but that didn't stop the footage from spreading. 
Life goes on, and for the Rainbooms it certainly had, until they scattered to the winds on their own journeys. They were needed elsewhere than Canterlot. Because Canterlot was not the only place with crazy magical happenstance. 
Not even close.
What matters is this. A quite serious and hidden effort had been taking place to keep this exact sort of thing contained, by interested parties from more places than just Canterlot, and now the whole country had just watched a man get his arm broken by a tentacled terror, and that was the clip that would wind up on national news. Life went on. The world kept spinning. But curious eyes all over witnessed the battle on the boardwalk.
For instance, down in an especially ritzy Applewood break room, muffled on all sides by next door sound booths, a pair of blue hands clapped and an airy voice giggled with glee.
And likewise, in a lunchroom more concrete than comfort, the grumbles and arguments and ready shivs in orange jumpers all came to a halt. A calamitous crash had filled the room, because a pair of purple hands had thrown a metal serving tray through the TV hanging up in the corner of the ceiling. 






"Well the phone is banjaxed." Buck said. His phone had been in his pocket when he was thrown into the aquarium tank, and now he was tipping it so that the water could run out.
"I'll add it to the list. You know I'm handling your damages." Adagio said, tapping on her own phone. She wondered if the people that owned the bits of the boardwalk had good insurance. "Hm. Would you say a rampaging monster is considered vandalism or an act of god?" 
It was a bit after they had finished their brief interviews with the news. Adagio had demanded that the crowd of gawkers make way, and now she and the 'defenders of canterlot' were strolling over to their rides so they could all go out to dinner.
"Second one." Buck said. 
"Keep the phone! Even with the water damage, the data might be salvageable!" Sunburst said, several paces behind. 
"Ugh, it's hopeless! I'll never get the porn I stored on there back!" Buck said, half joking.
"Oh boo hoo! Cry me a river!" Starlight called.
"Hey, c'mon, give a little sympathy to the guy in a cast!" Scoots said.
"And who's fault is that?" Starlight sneered.
"Why are you so mean to him, Starlight?" Sunburst whispered.
"I honestly don't know? Something about his face just...makes me want to punch holes in drywall. I'm not sure why."
"...well you should at least try to be a little nicer if you actually want to recruit him."
"What? Who said anything about that?" Starlight said, eyes darting.
"I know you, Starlight. He's powerful, he's a great guy and he's trustworthy. He's obviously a good fit for our line of work."
"Okay, that's fair..."
"But the problem is this; Buck doesn't want anything to do with this stuff. He had enough of magic back at CHS."
"Well we can't just leave him like this. Until we educate him about his, um, condition, he's a ticking time bomb for crazy magical anomalies like we saw today. If Adagio won't leave him alone, we can at least teach him to control his power."
"What was that about my 'condition'? You said you'd help me heal up my arm!" Buck yelled back. Apparently his casual pace was more of a march than that of the others. 
"Nothing Buck, just the ramblings of a wannabe hero." Adagio said, rolling her eyes.
"That's some tough talk coming from you. Did you forget who's fault this was?"
"Oh please, you couldn't handle a cat in a tree without us. No need to point fingers."
"Sunburst and I could have handled the situation just fine without you three."
"It's adorable and hilarious that you think that."
"Don't you have some damages to calculate?" Starlight said. Adagio stopped and turned toward her.
"Yes, and I was going to consider treating not just Buck, but everyone to dinner. Unfortunately it seems I've overestimated the decorum of my guests, so I think it may be best if Buck and I simply retire to my suite for the night."
"What? 'dagio, I'm starvin'!"
"There's food at home, Buck."
"There's wine at home, Adagio. Just wine, I think." 
"Haw! It's funny 'cause it's true!" Scoots said. 
"Well now I'm definitely taking you home. Clearly you've forgotten that you agreed to pamper me tonight after our date, and I aim to take advantage."
"That's about all you know how to do..." Starlight said under her breath.
"What was that!?" Adagio snarled. 
"Babe, babe, it's fine. We can go if you aren't feeling comfortable." Buck said. He leaned down and kissed her cheek. Adagio sighed. What was she going to do with this sickly sweet man? Perhaps a better question was what was he going to do to her once they were alone?
"Yes, well, I would like to leave. Scootaloo; stay with those two. What Buck has planned for me is private."
"AAAAWWW LAME!"
"What? No we aren't!" Sunburst simpered.  Starlight patted is shoulder and shook her head. 
"With that settled, come along, Buck. We'll be taking my ca-aaaAAAWW COME ON!" Adagio shrieked. The back of her sexy convertible had been caved in by an impression of a face that made her nostalgically furious. Laying in the fire lane behind the smashed car was the sea pony statue that had been carelessly tossed earlier. There was no sign of any cop car, but Lightning Dust had left a gift in the form of a ticket for illegal parking on the windshield. Adagio threw it to the ground.
"My wheels aren't touching the fire lane, and my bumper isn't over it! This is an outrage!"  She felt a hand on her back and turned to find Sunburst instead of Buck patting her.
"Well, if you want you can be outraged over dinner. We still all want shawarma."
"I don't." Starlight grumbled."
"No accountin' for taste." Buck said.
"I guess we're taking my car, then." Sunburst said. Everyone piled into Sunburst's slightly ratty jeep, kicking aside a couple of empty cups. As they drove off, Starlight looked at Scootaloo and Adagio sitting on either side of Buck. It seemed that Adagio was the only one who managed to escape the fight without a scratch. Against all odds, Buck closed his eyes and smiled as the girls leaned into him. The question on Starlight's mind was maddeningly simple; how do I approach this topic with Buck, with at least a little bit of delicacy?

"I think you two need to see other people." Starlight said. She had just settled into her seat after casting a rudimentary healing spell on Buck's arm. There were some components you always had to have on hand in case of emergency. The spell wouldn't fix Buck's arm immediately, but it would only take about a week and a half to heal, which was a big difference. Sunburst looked at her over a raised spoon, and Scootaloo nearly choked on her gyro. 
"'scuse the fuck outta me?" Buck said.
"Starlight. Is now really the time?" Sunburst said. His hand found hers in silent support, but it gave a cautionary squeeze. Starlight took a breath.
"Buck; you're playing with fire."
"I appreciate the concern and the compliment, but Buck is more than fine in my hands." Adagio said.
"I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to Buck." Starlight hissed. Buck's hand went to Adagio's shoulder before she could stand.
"Fine. Then talk, and it better be fuckin' good, Glimglam, 'cause I don't appreciate you talkin' down to Adagio." 
"Buck, these magical anomalies are not random and they aren't going to stop as long as you're with Adagio. The two of you got close and had an emotional moment, and the result was that a tiny rift to equestria opened. Your magic and the magic from the rift turned the sea life in the tank into magical creatures."
"Which if you think about it is extremely exciting! If a rift so small that it instantly dissipated can create a creature that large, we can't discount the possibility that this is the source of cryptids, not to mention what this implies about our world mythology, and--"
"Sunburst! Please." Starlight interjected. 
"Well, that isn't Adagio's fault. It happened because I'm an over-emotional idiot. Even though I was trying to play it cool, I still overwhelmed her. 
"Always holding back, aren't we, Buck?" Adagio muttered. 
"The point is that when you two are together, the people of Canterlot are in danger, and we can't have that. You need to keep your distance from her, Buck. Aside from just being irritating, Adagio is a threat to everyone in this city." The table went silent. Buck looked at Adagio, who's smarmy frown had shifted into a tender look. She stroked his cheek and smiled, then turned to Starlight. 
"Well, I appreciate your concern, but the situation is well in hand. I've been taking steps to acclimate to Buck's particular emotional energy, and I'm sure that if I just have a bit of time to practice, I'll be able to handle him without any more random bursts of magic."
"I can practice a bit more emotional regulation." Buck said.
"No, Buck, you're just fine the way you are." Adagio said. Buck smiled as she lightly pecked at his lips. 
"That's not enough. How are we supposed to trust that what happened today won't happen again? I won't always be around to save you. I have other magical threats to look into and a life besides all of this." Starlight said.
"Oh you do? You could have fooled me." Adagio said.
"Excuse me?"
"I was a pop star, honey. I know when I'm being stalked. Did you think I wouldn't notice you two following us all day?" Sunburst went pale, but Starlight stood her ground.
"Is that true, Sunburst?" Buck said. Sunburst gritted his teeth.
"Yes. We followed you, because we were afraid that Adagio might try something, and look what happened!" Sunburst said.
"She didn't mean for that to happen! What the fuck, Sunburst, I trusted you to let me handle this!"
"And he did trust you, Buck. He trusted you enough that he warned me against this, and I trusted you enough to leave you alone until things went bad." Starlight said.
"Oh please. We're not buying that excuse! I know precisely what you are, Starlight Glimmer. You like to act all high and mighty and just, but under all of it, you're something I'm all too familiar with; a jealous bitch that hates the idea that someone stepped into her territory. Which is funny, since I've been here far longer than you, and I definitely never noticed any calamitous 'magical anomalies' until you came into our lives. I think that's quite enough, Buck. Let's take the trolley home." Adagio stood, taking Buck's hand. Starlight rose then.
"You never noticed because until Buck showed up, all you ever did was sulk around in your big soundproofed suite! You're the reason that monster happened today! You're the reason why the sinkhole opened up across from Buck's work! Everywhere you go, something goes wrong!"
"If you don't stop pointing those disgusting purple talons at me I'm going to throw you through a window!" Adagio hissed.  
"Alright, alright, chill! Look, I know you don't like each other, but there ain't no need to fight! Starlight, I understand what you're getting at, but if we just talk this through, it'll be a non-issue. You and Sunburst know about magic, and Adagio went to school for it! If you work together, we can solve this." 
"Hmph. I don't need her help to handle your emotions, Buck, and she has no idea how to handle true power, regardless."
"WHAT!?"
"I saw you over there, Starlight. Another second and the magic you pulled from the beast would have overwhelmed you. Like Buck said; I've been to school for this, and I know an amateur hedge mage when I see one."
"HEDGE MAGE!?"
"Did I stutter?"
"Okay, okay, there's no need for that...!" Sunburst had to hold on to Starlight's waist to stop her from leaping over the table. Scootaloo very wisely chose to dissociate into her phone. 
"Sunburst is right, you need to chill out! The only reason we beat that thing is 'cause we worked together! Now I'm not down on the whole magic thing, but isn't getting all pissed off just as bad as sharin' a kiss? We can't get too emotional or some other magic bullshit could happen, and I don't wanna break my other arm today fixin' it!" 
"No, Buck, that's not how it works, you don't understand!"
"Well shit, all I know is magic and emotion go hand in hand, so if we get too pissy, shit might pop off!"
"That's not it, Buck!" Starlight said.
"Well what is it then!?"
"IT'S YOU! YOU'VE GOT TONS OF EQUESTRIAN MAGIC JUST BUBBLING OUT OF YOU, BUCK! AND FOR SOME REASON IT ONLY COMES OUT WHEN YOU GET INTIMATE, AND I DON'T KNOW WHY, BUT YOU'RE MORE POWERFUL THAN ANYTHING I'VE SEEN!" Starlight slammed her fist on the table, screaming at Buck. Adagio looked like the world was falling down. Buck and Scootaloo's eyes were wide. Buck's hand dropped out of Adagio's, and he dropped back into his seat and stared ahead.
"Why do you think Adagio has been coming after you so hard!? Why do you think she's been all over your dick!? It's because YOU'RE MAGIC, Buck! She's just been using you as a meal ticket this whole time, grooming you up for some purpose I don't know, but she's been leeching on you because she can't keep her magic inside her body!" Buck's eyes slid around the table, trying to find some sense in the world. He looked at Sunburst, imploring.
"I wanted to tell you." Sunburst said. Buck looked at Adagio. 
"Is that true?" Adagio would not meet his eyes.
"Look! Just look! You see this? This is a sensing stone. When I activate it, it senses the magic power of the nearest creature. Look, right here!" It was a little pebble of sunstone. Starlight slid it across the table at Buck, and when he touched it, it glowed with a bright red light, shook and then popped into a little pile of dust. 
"Adagio, Adagio please. Tell me this is all a scam. Tell them that you like me, not because of magic, but because...because it's me. Tell them, Adagio!" Buck said, his voice cracking. Adagio put a hand over her mouth. She still wouldn't look. Buck tried to reach out to her, but Starlight shook her head.
"Don't! We don't know what will happen if you touch her."
"Adagio, look at me. Tell me you didn't know!" 
"I can taste magic, Buck. Of course I knew." Adagio turned to him, finally. Her arms crossed.
"But, but that's not what this is about, right!? You like me, for me, you don't...you don't see me as a meal, right? I'm a human being! You see me as a human, right!?" 
"I have been treating you exactly as humans deserve to be treated, Buck. You can be a wonderful date and a wonderful meal; why not just accept being both?" Her eyes were fierce. It was the same look she gave when she looked at the monster, and when she looked at Starlight, and when she looked at Buck's cock. Starlight was right. He was just a pawn in her game, and she hadn't had to say a damn word to move him around the board. There was a pain in his chest.
"And there it is. You need to get away from her, Buck. Sunburst and I would be happy to train you to control your magic, if that's what you want."
"I want to be alone." Buck crossed the floor of the restaurant and opened the door. He was facing away, but his fist was clenching and his shoulders were shaking. Adagio had tasted this before, when he told her the story of his childhood. It was the coldest despair she'd ever tasted in polite company. Buck's heart was breaking. 
"Buck, wait, it doesn't have to be like that. Come here. We can sort this out--" Adagio approached him, arms raised.
"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Buck's scream was desperate and high pitched and ugly. 
"Excuse me?" Adagio's attitude settled back into place as if on cue.
"I should've known better." Buck shook his head, and then he was down the street, around the corner, gone. Somewhere down the block, a camera shutter clicked. 
Adagio wasn't sure which emotion it was at the moment that made her shake; there was so much mixing and boiling inside her.
"Scootaloo, come along. I need you to prep me a bath." Adagio said, without looking.
"I'm not going anywhere with you, Adagio." Adagio's head snapped around and saw Scootaloo's furious expression above her quivering knees. "How could you do that to him?"
"It's in her nature." Starlight said. Adagio rounded on her, and was very certain that she could tear her limb from limb in an instant. Instead, she straightened her skirt and counted the seconds between breaths.
"This isn't over." Adagio growled. She turned and left.





Whenever Buck found himself in a difficult time in his life, or struggling with writer's block or generally caught in a funk, his first solution was always to go take a walk. He learned a while back that movement could really help get the good chemicals going in your brain, and that would grease the wheels, so to speak. He always felt better after a good walk, and more often than not, his best ideas always came while he was in transit. 
Best ideas. That was a funny way to say it, considering the fact that none of his ideas for fiction had ever taken off or found an audience. He was so fucking tired of writing articles. He was tired of just about everything. 
No one could call him through a drowned phone, which was fine because he didn't want to be found. 
Buck told himself that if he just took his time, he'd find an answer. He'd understand that this was all a misunderstanding, and he could go and talk it through, and everything would be alright.
The problem was that what Starlight said made perfect sense, and Adagio hadn't disagreed. 
Buck had magic in him. It explained all of his bad luck, and why the Rainbooms ever gave him the time of day, and why Adagio had reached out to him. 
Idiot. No woman would ever come on to you that hard unless she wanted something. Adagio was the first to really try seducing him like that, and he'd gone with her without even thinking about it. 
She was using him, of course, and Buck thought then that maybe he didn't see it because that's just what a romantic relationship was in his life. He couldn't recognize a functional relationship if it bit him on the tip of his dick, and now it was all over. Again. He was right back where he started, but now his heart was smashed into a million pieces and he was terrified that even after that, he might go crawling back to Adagio.
She wanted him so bad, and he wanted so bad to be wanted. 
It was nice while it lasted, he guessed. 
Buck didn't know what time it was when he got home. It wasn't all that late, maybe around eightish. 
That was a while before his bedtime and he was still full from the shawarma. He guessed he would write something; get it out of his head. 
But then he remembered that his arm was in a cast. His left arm. His writing arm. 
Buck tried desperately to get something written, awkwardly shimmying in his seat, but he couldn't make much progress because even when he could type without his arm hurting, his back started to protest at the position until he couldn't bear it anymore. Buck thought then to jerk off and pass some time, but he knew that if he started doing that he would think about Adagio. 
She'd played him so well, she had actually gotten him to admit that he wanted to love her. 
Buck didn't want to stream something. He couldn't get his mind off what happened today. Maybe he could get fucked up on edibles? But no, that's a really bad thing to do when you're feeling down. 
He was trapped in this feeling; this familiar ache that was settling over him. He was exhausted from all the activity today, but he was also deeply, painfully tired from the emotions of it all. He wished he could just turn his brain off.
Then she would have never noticed him. But he didn't want that, either. He loved spending time with Adagio. 
He wanted to love her, but it was all a lie. She was playing him, and she wasn't even fucking sorry about it.
Buck wasn't sure when he started crying, but the tears wouldn't stop now no matter what he did. He wanted to wash his face and go to bed, but he felt so fucking ugly that he couldn't bear to look at himself. He wanted to go to Ditzy Doo, but she wouldn't be home at this time on a Saturday. He didn't want to burden her with this either. He had no idea what he would say. 
With nothing to do about it, Buck put his head in his hands and tried to stifle his tears. They wouldn't stop flowing, even after he finally fell asleep. 
Everything was wrong.





In a darkened space somewhere across town, a solemn silhouette carefully pulled a photograph from where it was hanging on a clothesline. Quiet footsteps were near-deafening in the silent room as that picture was carefully taped to the corner of a mirror in the adjoining bathroom. The light flickered, revealing similar photos all around the glass.
Photos of Adagio Dazzle. Her expressions were all flawlessly captured; here was a look of suppressed infatuation, here sour surprise, here barely contained wrath. A face and form to admire, surely, belonging to a legendary figure.
The figure before the mirror rubbed its cheeks and an uncomfortable smile limped across its face.
> Chapter 17 - Workhorse (Mastodon)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

In a quiet space, the ticking of a clock on the wall can be like the buzzing of a housefly; irritating and surprisingly loud. Add tension to that space, and the slow, constant barrage of ticks and tocks can become deafening. The clock on the wall of the dorm was especially loud this morning because the dorm's now sole occupant was quivering with giddy anticipation.
Before, one could just about set their watch by the coming and going of the young roommates, who until just recently had been students of the adjoining campus. Canterlot City College was a huge campus with a certain history that ensured the staff was slow to notice nor act on behalf of a few missing students.
Now, one bedroom was seldom used and the other had become a dark space for developing photographs. The kitchen was beginning to look abandoned, and the only sound in the dorm was the ticking of its clock. 
There was a time when this quiet would have seemed a welcome reprieve, but now it was nothing more than a reminder of a great and glorious failure. It would not, could not happen again. Not in this world.
There was the cracking of multiple joints, a dry, rattling yawn, and finally a twisted knob at the bathroom sink. The mirror was ringed with images of the prey. Orange hair, magenta eyes, and a smile that seemed as brutal as a mace and as deft as a dagger. 
"Not yet. It's too risky." Said Adagio Dazzle. The eyes above the mouth that had spoken were a chestnut color. They were set in a pale face with a bit of a snaggletooth in the smile. This lowly wretch had been called Featherweight, and this face did not match the voice that had just spoken.
The creature that was currently Featherweight had studied its prey with the utmost caution. It had never once been suspected since arriving here, and now the time was drawing near to strike. Even so, mistakes like this were unacceptable. The tap was turned off. There was a flash of sickly green light. 
Adagio Dazzle looked back from the mirror with a dull expression. The creature used her prey's delicate fingers to prod and pull at the muscles of the face until it was like a photo of a photo of Adagio's cruel grin. 
Impersonation was high art; the birthright of this creature. A satisfied smirk broke through for just a second.
A gentler push on the cheeks, and there was Adagio's pouty face, frequently used on her own prey to little effect. A pull down, and there was the toothy snarl shown when in poor company. The face twitched uncomfortably as it made micro-adjustments to match the fine details of the photograph.
An opportunity had arisen the previous sun, and with the seizing of it, Adagio Dazzle had made the slightest mistake. She had acquiesced to an interview. She had used the word 'boyfriend'. Now the local buzz was on her and her estranged partner, and surely that irritation would wear on her. A week from now? Perhaps. 
No hands, now. Just focus. The face shook and twitched and buzzed with concentration as it contorted into Adagio's signature look; a half-lidded huff with the slightest tilt of the chin. A subtle stroking of the center of the clavicle. A curl of the lip somewhere between a smile and a sneer. 
"Soon." The creature counted to three, then shifted to a furious glare. Another three count and a look of subdued desperation. Another three; pink hearts in the eyes. It ought to be a crime to be so very talented in such a dull and uncreative world. 
Soon could not arrive any faster, but soon was more than enough. Very soon all the effort the creature had put to the craft would yield fruit, and everything would change. 
Adagio Dazzle's head twitched with glee, a voice that wasn't hers chittering with humor.	
What was funny about all of this was that the dullards of this realm were calling the creature 'Mothman'. This was hilariously degrading because moths are short-lived prey and often prone to accident. Why not compare the silhouette in the photographs to a more predatory part of the insect kingdom? 
After all, there were no predators quite as vicious as a Changeling. 





It was the Sunday after the disaster that was Saturday. Adagio Dazzle was horribly sober and keenly aware of how drained she was already.  
Adagio had spent most of her energy on Saturday under the assumption that Buck would come to her bed and 'spoil' her until she was full to the brim with his passion, but that hadn't happened because everything went wrong. 
As she stared at the ceiling from her prone position on the couch, Adagio wondered why she had thought she could keep this facade going. She had hoped for a few years to pass before Buck began to despise her.
In truth, she always expected this. She had spent Saturday telling Buck about her life, wondering at what point would he run from her in terror, and he simply hadn't. Instead, he hung on her every word and seemed more amazed than frightened. Buck had done was most humans simply could not. He listened. It was incredibly frustrating.
After all of that, he had held Adagio. He had kissed her and tried to love her. 
Love. 
He'd said the word love, even though he knew by now that Adagio was a monster. He refused to run, even when his life was in danger. He'd let his guard down when she was thirsty, and even through his quivering fear, he had accepted Adagio Dazzle, even knowing what she was. 
And now he was gone. Humans were like walking dust to a creature like Adagio Dazzle. They were a moment in time. Temporary, simple, ugly. Annoying. Buck was those things as well. Except of course, for ugly. Buck was a shining jewel that Adagio had pulled from the sea, but then Starlight Glimmer had to come along and slap him out of her hands.
Gods, humans were so very far beneath her, and yet Adagio could not stop herself from hating that bitch. She must have been an especially self-righteous pony on the other side. She had seemingly no magic potential, so not a unicorn--a point in her favor--but nonetheless a constant irritant. Adagio wasn't much for revenge, but she knew that she would have to put that woman on the ground at some point if only to get her to stop meddling in her affairs. 
As Adagio rose from the couch, her hair a nightmare of clumps and tangles, she wondered how exactly she could possibly turn this around. The windows were drawn, the thermostat at a chillingly comfortable fifty-five degrees. Buck would have hated that temperature. He would have held onto Adagio for warmth. That could have been today. 
This wasn't like what Adagio had done before. Before she had wronged Buck, and was still paradoxically remorseful for it, but this time she hadn't actually done anything. She couldn't apologize for this; it was a simple fact about their relationship. Adagio needed emotion and magic to survive, and Buck was a bottomless source for her to tap. It was beautifully simple, but Adagio knew now that Buck didn't like to be used. 
How could she have spun this? Tell him that she would die if he didn't kiss her from time to time? That would run him off. Enforce that he was simply special for some unknown means, play innocent? But he knew she could sense magic innately. If things had gone well and gone on long, perhaps she would have explained to him that he was essential for her survival in a practical sense, but not before she had gotten him properly isolated and dependent on her. Somehow, that approach didn't seem right either. 
You don't forgive a person for what they are, because that's not something they can change. It was not a mistake that drove Adagio to pursue Buck, it was necessity. At least, that's how it started. 
Now she craved him. Now Adagio Dazzle had gotten used to sipping on Buck and teasing him and letting him have his way with her. Now she well and truly did need the man, and this was the most distressing thought of all.
She knew that even if she went to him, the only taste she would find was the dull spectrum between depression and resignation. 
Adagio would have to go to work tomorrow. The office was a pale purgatory of shuffling money and stunted emotions. It was the perfect place to hide, now that she was in the spotlight again. She would have to forgo having her usual break at Sugar Cube Corner. Little Miss Ditzy Doo would probably take joy in slamming the door in her face.
The wine glass which had wandered into Adagio's grip shattered against the kitchen floor. 
Ditzy Doo had kissed him. He had kissed her back, and now she would have him all to herself. Buck was going to be broken and vulnerable and at home in a cast. Helpless. It was the perfect time for the girl next door to sink her claws into him, and there was nothing that Adagio could do about it. 
Adagio would not let this be defeat. There had to be some way to negotiate this. Buck was forgiving, wasn't he? He would listen if Adagio waited to speak with him. But he was so broken. Adagio hadn't tasted anger in him; no it was a despair so cold that it felt like trying to drink the contents of an ice bath. 

Now she was in her bedroom. She didn't know why. She didn't need to get dressed because there was nowhere to be. She'd called her insurance. She'd paid her rent. 
Adagio's bed was so warm that it was like stepping out onto a beach in spring. The luxurious softness she had cultivated here had not come cheap, but some investments were essential for proper living.
Adagio had stared at her ceiling through the night, hoping that an answer would present itself to her.  At this moment she was so exhausted that she made a critical mistake. She turned and laid down on her stomach, her nose pressed into the leftmost pillow on her bed. It still smelled like Buck's warmth, and his sweat and his shampoo. 
Adagio spent the rest of the day weeping and holding that pillow, wishing desperately that she could turn back time. 





It was Monday morning and a fresh new torment lay between Adagio and her daily trip to purgatory. Her car would spend two weeks getting un-mangled in the shop before she could go back to cruising around at her leisure, and that meant she would have to suffer the indignity of public transportation. Her office was both too far to walk and too close to justify a cab, and so every morning between now and the return of her conveyance would be a disgusting sample of bohemian life.
"All you have to do is make it to work without murdering anyone." Adagio grumbled.
Instead of Tartarus, the people of this world had a place called Hell, which Adagio understood to be a place of unending torture designed to frighten children and some adults into obeying their local cleric. For Adagio, hell was a crowded trolley car. 
Adagio had prepared to be crammed into a sardine can with a bunch of wretched humans. What she was not prepared for was the noise. 
The rumbling of wheels over the track, the subtle screech of the brakes, the twanging spark of the wires overhead, the mumbling of people going to places they didn't want to be, the occasional deranged reprobate holding a full conversation with the window, the cries of a child upset by the shaking, the sound of someone who either had never heard of headphones or simply wanted to torment everyone by blasting mumble rap as part of their morning routine, to the screaming fit of the aged woman being told that her creaking cart filled with various...accouterment would not, in fact, fit in the already crowded car; the trolley was indeed a smorgasbord of the cities' flavor. Unfortunately, that flavor smelled suspiciously like stale piss and spilled coffee. 
Adagio was desperately counting the stops left, hands over her ears when she felt a tap on her shoulder. 
"Buck?" Adagio's half-formed hopeful smile dropped into a scowl as she beheld a vaguely familiar face. A woman with cream-colored skin, curly pink and dark blue hair, and an annoyingly perky smile held an old polaroid camera up and took a quick snapshot.
"Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to startle you!"
"You didn't."
"Well, um, sorry to bother you, but you're Adagio Dazzle, right?"
"Yes. That's me. You knew that already, otherwise you wouldn't have taken a picture."
"Heheh, right! Sorry, uh, let me start again. I'm Bon Bon, and I'm--"
"Making this hellish trip even less bearable. Look, if you're a fan, I'd like to thank you for your devotion, but I don't do autographs."
"Oh, that's not what I--"
"I also don't do interviews with independent journalists."
"Well, that's--"
"And I am in the middle of a particularly unpleasant week."
"It's...Monday?"
"And oh, look at that! It's my stop, would you mind stepping aside?"
"Are you sure that's--"
"It is, I am, have a lovely day!"
"But, wait, I wanted to ask--"
"Take care, now!" Adagio could just barely stomach the stink of public transportation, but she would not suffer a perky little satellite if she could help it. She wondered if that child had stalked her onto the trolley or if it was a mere coincidence. It didn't matter in the end. She was only about a stop away from work. She could walk. 
As the trolley rolled away, Adagio heard that same camera clicking noise. There was something unsettling and familiar about that sound, but recognition was crushed beneath the weight of the headache on top of Adagio's heartache. With a steadying breath and a flourish of her hair, she turned to finish her trip to work and walked directly into a light post. 

It had taken Adagio Dazzle about a week to start recalling the name of the company that she worked for. 
As it turned out it was called Affluent Answers, a subsidiary of massive grocery chain Barnyard Bargains, which in and of itself was a subsidiary of Farrier Incorporated; a conglomerate with its greedy claws in everything from real estate to office supplies, meat packing, farming, and metallurgy.
Affluent Answers may have been an office floor in the middle of the Barnyard Bargains Super Tower, but it was host to a small and well-paid army of accountants whose job was essentially to micromanage all of the pseudo-legal monetary sleight of hand that a corporation requires to grow indefinitely. 
Adagio had been hired as a copy typist, but after a few weeks of doing not just her job but upstaging others on the office floor for kicks, she had been slantways promoted into the role of Accounting Specialist.
Adagio's job as an accountant was to move money around in a way that seemed appropriate for a tax bracket lower than what the company actually was, and on paper that sounded important, but in the paper of practice it was extraordinarily dull. 
This dullness was matched by the aesthetic of the office space. It was an entire floor of beige and eggshell and carpets that were already ugly a decade ago. The equally outdated fluorescents bathed every cubicle in a numbing glare, and there was a singular playlist of top 40 tracks that looped twice during a shift. That playlist was at a volume just low enough to be considered background noise, and just loud enough to be annoying.
Adagio's earrings jingled as she strode down the hall to the office, content in the knowledge that she had torn through about two weeks of paper in the last couple of shifts, meaning that the top end of this pay period would likely involve her looking busy for the most part. Adagio was more than happy to get paid to be bored, though she knew that the prior evening's events would weigh on her. That, and she was already growing thirsty. 
"You're late, Ms. Dazzle." Came the voice of sheer irritation. Adagio's hand was on the doorknob, but she sighed and turned on her heels to lock eyes with the third most irritating woman in her current life. 
If homicidal stuffiness were an Olympic sport, Ms. Harshwhinny would be a gold medalist. She had caramel-colored skin and golden hair that never seemed to escape the bonds of its holding spray. Now and then, Adagio would notice with a quiet glee that the horrid sow she called her floor manager had a bit of gray growing right at the edges of her flawlessly maintained hairline. Harshwhinny's job was to slither around the office in a wine purple suit, towering above the cubicles in her pointed heels, and wait like a vulture for someone to make anything resembling a mistake. Then she would swoop down and scrutinize in a curt yet drawling transatlantic accent, spoken through an upturned nose and make her target regret ever taking a pen in hand. 
Ms. Harshwhinny despised Adagio Dazzle, likely because Adagio's paperwork was uniformly excellent, and so the battle axe in shoulder pads was contented to find tiny little things to torment Adagio with.
"I'm seven minutes early." Adagio said. She took a private joy in the fact that she was not on the floor and therefore was not under company oath to smile at her manager.
"Yes, and you are typically thirty minutes early. You are excruciatingly late for being early, in other words. Have you anything to say in your defense?"
"Yes, I do." Adagio checked her analog wristwatch. "Unless you have something important to tell me about my shift today, I would like to clock in before you make me late." Adagio felt the concentrated pain behind her eyes shudder as anxiety ran through her veins. For the briefest of moments, the bitch had smiled. 
"As a matter of fact, there is a pressing matter to address. Ms. Adagio Dazzle, it is said around the office that you are the finest accountant here at Affluent Answers. Therefore, I have been asked to inform you that our newest hire Miss...?"
"Bon Bon!" Said a horribly familiar face and voice, stepping out from Harshwhinny's shadow. 
"Miss Bon Bon comes highly recommended from a reputable source for her quick learning and flexibility. I've been told that she will be an excellent addition to the team if given proper training. That is where you come in, Miss Dazzle."
"You want me to train her."
"Precisely. Although today, Bon Bon will simply shadow you and ask office appropriate questions about what you do. She has been permitted to take photographs of the office space so long as she stays away from restricted areas such as my office. She is also not permitted to take pictures of paperwork." 
"What?"
"Say cheese!" Bon Bon's polaroid clicked and flashed, capturing what was likely Adagio's most disheveled appearance outside of her suite.
"Aside from answering with the professionalism we strive for in this office, I expect you to pretend that she isn't here at all."
"I will do my very best at that." Adagio said.
"Excellent. With that said, I leave her in your capable hands." Harshwhinny stepped around Adagio and opened the office door. The coolness of the hallway was briefly invaded by the stale office air. 
"Will that be all, then?" Adagio said. Ms. Harshwhinny paused.
"Ah yes, I'm afraid that Miss Shoeshine is a no call, no show. If she does not return or contact our office within the week, she will be considered terminated." Harshwhinny said, checking her clipboard. 
"That's unfortunate, but what does that have to do with me, exactly?"
"Well, in lieu of her sudden disappearance, I've entrusted Miss Shoeshine's current accounts to you. You are our finest accountant, or so they say. You should be done before overtime sets in, certainly. Speaking of which, you ought to clock in now, Miss Dazzle. Unless of course you want to be more than one minute late?"  
As her floor manager ambled off to go terrorize an intern, Adagio felt a portion of her soul tear itself away so that it could scream ceaselessly into the void. The rest of Adagio's soul gently considered what sort of workers' compensation would be awarded if she lit the printer on fire and happened to find Harshwhinny beneath it. 
There was another click of Bon Bon's camera as Adagio realized the kind of marathon that this work week was going to be.





It was still Monday, but a bit later, and the disquiet tingling sensation that precedes a migraine was sneaking into Adagio's head.
Before Adagio was her cell in this time-leeching prison that was commonly called an office. She wondered if the spending money she got here was actually worth the blinks of time she spent sitting in a chair that was only slightly comfortable.
There were two neat plastic bins, labeled "Soon" and "Done".  One had an offensively high stack of papers and one had nothing in it at the moment, since Adagio was apparently a tour guide today. 
"And this is where you'll be working. Every employee here has their own workspace, which you are allowed to dress up and customize within reason. The main point is to have a space for you to hunch over with low walls so that Harshwhinny can glare over your shoulder." Adagio heard a tiny chuckle ripple across the small lake of cubicles. She had done all in her power to ignore her co-workers during her time in the office, and so far that strategy had kept her in good favor.
"Okay, question!" Bon Bon said.
"You don't have to preface them."
"How do you get your station together for the day? Do you have a system like you put your pen in that exact spot and your paper over there? Do you have to dust your desk off? How should I try to make my cubicle look?" There was something naively inane about this question that might have gotten a chuckle out of Adagio a week ago. She was frankly having a hard time reading Bon Bon; couldn't taste her intentions beyond actual enthusiasm, but something seemed the slightest bit off.
"There's a reason to everything I do here. It's not exactly that all of your needs for tools need to be met; we have a stock room with plenty of extra office supplies, except for the most expensive things. If you ask me, the most important thing about your workstation is that it's orderly enough that you can navigate it."
"Huh?" Adagio beckoned Bon Bon a bit closer and spoke low and conspiratorial. 
"But chaotic enough that a co-worker would be afraid to move something around, and a boss would look and think you're in the thick of it. You'll find that the most important skill for surviving office work is learning how to look busy. Every little piece can be a silent message." Adagio gestured at the loosely arranged papers in the center of the desk, a prop pencil that was short from over-sharpening and a few paper clips placed around a cup of them so that a prying eye might assume they were grabbed unthinkingly. In this sense, Adagio's workstation was more a carefully laid out stage than anything else. 
"Does...that thing count as chaotic or orderly?" Bon Bon pointed at the corner of the desk, where a little mockup of an aquarium glowed and scrolled with false sea life.  Across the silvery top of the glowing box sat the words 'Best Wishes, Buck' in sharpie. The idiot had meant for the message to be wiped off at Adagio's leisure, but he'd mixed his markers. Adagio heard his voice in her mind.
"If I had to sit atta desk and fuckin' push numbers around for eight hours, I think I'd want somethin' to dissociate into." Adagio had scoffed at the time, but Buck had been right on the money. This device had proved essential for maintaining her sanity.
"That was a gift."
"Oh, I see! From Buck, right?" 
"...yes, How exactly do you know about Buck?" 
"Oh, everyone in town knows about you two!"
"...right." 
"Is it...is it true what they say about him?" Now Bon Bon's tone dropped carefully.
"Excuse me?"
"You know...what they say about Buck?"
"I don't know what you mean." 
"You know...that he used to be uh...you know?" Bon Bon did some kind of nonsensical gesture with her fingers that failed to impress any meaning on Adagio.
"I'm going to get some coffee. Don't touch anything." Adagio said, pinching the bridge of her nose. 





It was Tuesday morning, and Adagio could not even have a drink at the water fountain without being barraged with obnoxious questions. "Questions" was a very general term for them. What they were instead was a series of rambling statements that had a question mark at the end of them due to the mustangian accent of the inquirer. 
"So I says to Sea Swirl, well tie me up and throw me down! That Adagio Dazzle is such a snappy dresser even when she's fightin' monsters! I've just gotta know darlin', who did the stitchin' work on that dress'a yers? It was absatively stunnin'!"  
To Adagio's gentle surprise, no one else in the office seemed to care much about her being a hideously powerful sea witch, but that lack of curiosity did not apply to Ms. Peachbottom; the lemon skinned, fern haired office gossip. 
"Oh, it's a custom tailored vintage piece. You can't exactly find them any more. I didn't expect to fight any tentacled horrors during my date, honestly." Adagio said, trying not to grind her teeth as she inched away. 
"And then there's that Buck-o'-yers! Not all that much to look at, but he sure can swing an axe, now can't he?" Peachbottom's laugh was cut off by the venom radiating from Adagio's glare. There was a click of the camera that made Adagio crush her paper water cup, then look slowly askance. Bon Bon's face went even paler as she took a careful step backward.
"I-I-I heard that you and Buck really showed off at karaoke night a while ago! Did you know he could sing when you started dating?" Bon Bon said.
"No. Our relationship was very spur of the moment. Buck is just happens to have a handful of esoteric skills." Adagio sighed. She could feel the very bags under her eyes thickening. 
"Are you feelin' alright, hun? Ya look exhausted. Are things okay back at the ranch?" Ms. Peachbottom made a high school theater kid's attempt at concern, but Adagio could taste her lust for juicy hearsay. 
"Oh no, you and Buck aren't having a fight, are you?" Bon Bon said. 
"I appreciate the concern, but that's none of your business. If it's all the same to you, I think I'm going to take my lunch early." Bon Bon followed in lockstep as Adagio made her way to the break room. "I'd like to take it alone, if you don't mind, Bon Bon." 
"Oh, um..I--"
"I'm sure Ms. Peachbottom would be happy to look after your training while I take a break. Isn't that right?"
"I would? Oh, yeah, o'course I would! C'mon then, I'll show you mah cubicle! Say, where'd ya say yer folks're from again?" Bon Bon's simpering protests were cut off as Peachbottom trained her gossip on her. To Adagio's bemusement, Bon Bon didn't sound like she had an answer to any of Peachbottom's questions.
The good thing about working in an office space was that just about everyone was bubbling over with suppressed emotions. The bad news was that feeding on this stew of dull angst, self-loathing and overarching ambivalence was about the same as subsisting on stale crackers. Adagio desperately needed a reprieve from chewing on this emotional drywall, and after wracking her brain, she'd tossed together a cunning scheme. 
Adagio stepped into the worker's elevator and hit the button for the first floor. It was a bit of a trip, but Adagio's mouth watered as she considered the prize waiting for her. It would be a tiny piece of paradise in her hellish week. 
Adagio was sulking in the direction of her heels when the elevator made an unexpectedly early stop. A brown sleeved arm slipped in, followed by an aggressively oiled salt-and-pepper head of hair. An incredibly tacky tie and the sneer just above it marked this man as Adagio's boss; Filthy Rich, owner of this tower and a horde of other equally expensive things. 
The taste of the man's greed was like a soured bowl of stew filled with miss-matched ingredients; a flavor so pungent that Adagio frequently struggled not to gag in his presence. Adagio's shift to the office upstairs was a bit of a mercy since it meant she rarely had to languish under the man's draconian glare. This distance was, of course, part of her plan to drag a tidy piece of blackmail out of him should he decide he wanted to make a move, but thus far Filthy Rich had been content to sit in his office and grumble about his wife between inane company phone calls. 
"Well if it isn't my favorite former copy typist! What brings you down to my level today, Adagio?" Said Filthy Rich in an accent that bespoke a Hayseed country club. 
"Oh, not much, sir. I was just heading down to the lobby to pick up a bit of lunch for Ms. Harshwhinny." Adagio's voice for Filthy Rich was high-pitched to a nearly tweenaged degree. The exact kind of voice a grubby old bastard wants to hear as their receptionist bends down to retrieve a pen. 
"Is that woman bullying you again, Adagio?" For all her bluster, Harshwhinny had proved an excellent shield against the overreaching Filthy Rich on the office floor. Rich couldn't fire an employee for merely standing up to him, so there was tension, and these sorts of office rivalries always trickled down. Adagio refused to give him a shred of ammunition.
"No sir, not at all! I just happened to notice that Ms. Harshwhinny has hardly been out of her office all day, so I thought I might save her a bit of legwork when she's clearly busy." Adagio said. She made her best attempt at a smile in Filthy Rich's direction.
"I see, I see. Well I'm glad to see how handy and concerned you are for your superiors! It's a shame your time as my copy typist was so short; I would've been glad to keep you close by." Filthy Rich's raking talon landed on Adagio's shoulder. She could taste the barely checked desire dribbling from the aging millionaire. Filthy Rich tasted like the type of man to drown a steak in ketchup. 
"Well, I simply saw that the floor needed a ringer and rose to the challenge! That's what we're all about here, isn't it?" Adagio said.
"Indeed we are, Adagio. Now, I heard through the grapevine that you've found yourself a nice boy?" Filthy's hand tightened ever so slightly on her shoulder. Damn it all to hell! Why did they have to keep bringing him up?
"I would say he's a bit more than a boy, sir. Things are rarely boring with him around, I'll give him that!" Adagio giggled demurely. 
"It's just, I hear the lad has something of a reputation. I'd advise you to be careful with who you're seen with, Adagio. We wouldn't want to harm the company's reputation, now would we?" Filthy Rich tasted like a man walking down the street, clutching a coin in his pocket. 
"With all due respect sir; how I spend my free time is entirely up to me." 
"Of course, darlin'. Of course." Adagio stepped out into the well-conditioned air of the lobby, happy to be out of the stuffy metal box and her impromptu meeting with Filthy Rich. She approached the front desk, where her prize was waiting. 
"Oh, Miss Adagio! We don't see you much down here! How can I help you?" Adagio could never remember the name of this wispy slip of a woman that manned the desk, but her placard was happy to be of help. 
"Good afternoon, Vapor Trail. I'm here to pick up an order?" 
"Oh, are you picking up for Ms. Harshwhinny?" Adagio gave a nod, and Vapor Trail produced a pink and white striped doughnut box. Adagio's salvation lay just inside. 
"You have great timing! This package was just delivered!" The woman's voice cracked with enthusiasm.
"Between you and me, Vapor Trail, there's no need to use your customer service voice here. Not with me." Adagio smiled. Vapor Trail visibly deflated with relief.
"Oh good. I get so tired having to perform for all those stuffy office types." Vapor sighed. 
"Tell me about it. Hm...between us girls, you wouldn't happen to have any headache medication back there?" Adagio tried, rubbing her temple. Vapor Trail gave a maniacal giggle as she lifted a plastic jar of bulk ibuprofen and set it on the counter.

As Adagio took refuge in the only private space in the office that wasn't haunted by the voices of pop stars that she'd like very much to strangle, she placed the little cardboard box in her lap. The bathroom stalls at Affluent Answers briefly struck her with misty-eyed nostalgia for better times. 
On the road, the best thing you could expect out of a bathroom stall was some chuckle-inducing graffiti, and the worst you could expect drove Adagio to carry spare toilet seat covers in her purse. She and the girls would joke about which of the bathrooms they found were the most disgusting as they fled whatever small town they had ruined that week.  
The bathroom stall she occupied now was wood-paneled and blessedly spacious, but it lacked a certain character. That, and the ever-buzzing fluorescents made the inside of her ear itch. The two headache pills she had taken were certainly helpful, but even as she opened the box, she regretted that she would have to make it back to her cubicle for more torture very soon. 
The treat radiated a sense of cozy contentment. Sugar Cube Corner utilized a small heat lamp in their display case so that the contents would stay warm to the touch. Adagio felt that familiar warmth creep into her as she drank in the scent of the Blood Orange Tart she was holding. 
She assumed that if she were to walk into Sugar Cube Corner right now there would be yelling and possibly thrown objects. She didn't know how far or how petty Miss Ditzy Doo would go for revenge, but spitting in Adagio's food seemed reasonable. Scootaloo was a wild card, but Adagio didn't want to take any chances. That is why she charged the order to her company expense account and put it in Harshwhinny's name. 
Adagio bit into the tart, failing in any respect to be dainty about it, and a moan shuddered her body. It was not simply her favorite treat, but one she had come to savor as a reprieve during her long shifts. The care and love of the Cakes was present in every bite, and the association with Adagio's interactions with Buck sent a wave of serotonin blasting through her head. She felt her magic reserves tick up just the slightest bit, and so she tore into the baked good, hoping that she could savor it for just a few more bites. 
As Adagio licked her fingers clean, her reverie was shattered as she felt a sudden coldness at the tip of her shoe. She lifted her toe to see some sort of...well, she squinted at it, and all she could tell was that it seemed vaguely transparent and decidedly viscous. Like some sort of snot.
There was the kind of soft plop you preferred not to hear in a public restroom and a drop of whatever it was hit the floor right in front of her. Immediately, Adagio's eyes frantically shifted up, where she noticed an odd dark spot in the ceiling just over her stall. Whatever it was, it certainly was not OSHA compliant, and as Adagio extended a hand to catch another stray drop, she wondered what sort of settlement she could get in court if she reported this. Frankly, she didn't think she had that sort of effort in her today. 
The thought was distant, as much of her headspace was currently occupied with silent screaming. 
That's when the smell hit her. The tart had overtaken all of her senses until just that moment, but now that her focus was horribly fixated on the work safety nightmare that was slowly dripping above her head, she realized that the bathroom smelled in a way that bathrooms typically didn't. 
It was very faint, but it smelled like aspic and licorice; an essence combination so vile that Adagio was suddenly glad she had a toilet just beneath her in case she vomited. She slammed the door open and ran to the sink, washing her hands at the hottest temperature possible and then wiping off her shoe with as much care as she could muster with her shaking hand. 
Adagio's pulse had quickened with disgust, and her heart was pounding in her ears, but she could swear that very distantly, there was a sound not unlike someone calling out.

"And you say you have no idea what the substance is?"
"Correct. All I know is that it's currently dripping from the ceiling in the women's bathroom, and it likely started just recently since there was no mess on the floor when I entered." Adagio said, begrudgingly to Ms. Harshwhinny. As she preferred to keep her interactions with Filthy Rich as brief and well-spaced as possible, she had no other option but to report to her direct superior. Harshwhinny paced briefly around the carpet and Adagio heard her mutter something about this place being held together with baling wire and duct tape. 
"I shall see it handled with expediency." Harshwhinny said with a look of acute disgust. Another click of the camera.
"Is there something wrong with the bathroom?" Bon Bon asked. 
"Oh, there's been a bit of a leak; massive slipping hazard I'm afraid, and so this floor's bathroom is going to be locked until we can get a proper plumber's attention." Adagio understood the sharp and sour anxiety that came from Harshwhinny at that moment. No need to scandalize the company by scaring off a new hire with the horror show going on in the bathroom. 
"Bon Bon, would you be a dear and print up a sheet saying that this bathroom is off limits and tape it to the door?" Adagio said.
"Um, well sure, I suppose I can." Bon Bon said.
"Thank you both for your cooperation. I have a call to make." Harshwhinny said, mid-stride. In another world, Adagio would have felt sorry for the amount of pressure on the floor manager's shoulders, but in this world, she recognized Harshwhinny as a consistent thorn in her side, so the sentiment died in the crib. The rest of the day dragged on in typical fashion, but Adagio could not help but feel shaken as she slowly worked her way through her pile of documents. 





It was Tuesday night, and it was only after Adagio knocked on the door that she realized she was making a mistake. There had naturally been zero communication since Sunday because she was the villain in everyone's eyes, but she had a very slim hope that she could make an appearance at Game Night uninvited and make a pass at appearing remorseful. If she was being honest with herself, the camaraderie of game night the previous week was like a soothing mineral bath in comparison to the stale drudgery of office work, and she hoped against hope that she could still place it in her schedule.
That hope was dashed and smeared along the ground as she tasted the bitter contempt coming from Sunburst as he answered the door.
"Why are you here, Adagio?" It came at the end of a suffering sigh. Sunburst was in his pyjamas, clutching a cup of coffee.
"I'm...sorry for invading. I know I wasn't invited, but I thought that I could just pop in for a moment and speak to Buck?"
"Buck? He's...Adagio, we're not doing Game Night tonight. We're all recovering from Saturday, and even if we weren't, you know I wouldn't let you in here to see Buck."
"Sunburst, please--"
"No, Adagio. Do you remember the countless times I've told you to talk to Buck when you have complicated feelings about him?"
"...yes."
"This isn't one of those times. Buck was destroyed after what happened. Do you understand? My best friend is heartbroken over you. He isn't picking up his phone."
"Well, I know his is broken, but I sent--"
"He's also not answering DMs on social media. When I went to his place and Ditzy let me in, I heard him run to his bedroom and lock the door. He didn't even sound like himself when he asked me to leave. He sounded like he had been screaming for days. Buck is a sensitive man, Adagio, and you only know a little of what he's gone through."
"I understand that it was dramatic--"
"No, you DON'T UNDERSTAND!" Sunburst shouted. Adagio was shocked into silence.
"You don't understand, because even after all the time you've spent with him, you don't understand who Buck is! It took him so much courage to trust you, Adagio! He had every reason to run from you, but because he felt so strongly about you, he kept giving you a chance, even after Starlight and Ditzy and I all warned him! He wanted so badly for you to be different, but now he's found out you've just been using him and he's broken. He is so twisted up inside he doesn't want to look at anyone, let alone talk to them, and he's more alone than ever, and it's because he trusted you, Adagio!" Sunburst lip quivered, and it looked like it took a great deal of effort on his part to not start crying then and there. 
"But it wasn't me! Starlight was the one that brought it up! None of this would have happened if she had just kept her mouth shut." Adagio snapped. She felt a kind of murderous rage in Sunburst that she'd only ever felt from Aria. Sunbursts' glare seemed as a magnifying glass held between the sun and Adagio's heart.
"And if she hadn't talked, what would you have done? Would you have just kept drinking him, hoping that he didn't realize he had power while putting his life in danger? Every time you two interact, there's a chance of a rift to Equestria opening, and you know Buck's feelings would have only gotten stronger and stronger with time. What was your plan, Adagio!?"
"I...I don't know anymore." 
"You need to leave. You need to leave me and Starlight alone, and you definitely need to leave Buck alone. You were my   friend, Adagio. You were my friend, and I tried to vouch for you, but when Starlight said what she said, you didn't even think about telling Buck that it wasn't true, did you? You didn't even try to say that you were going to tell him, or that you didn't mean to use him. You didn't deny your role in this, Adagio, because Starlight was right."
"Sunburst, please. You're the only person I can ask; what am I supposed to do?" Adagio's brain roared and pulled at its chains as her heart suddenly spoke. Her words came out desperate and shaky. This could not be the end. 
"You need to leave him alone." The door slammed, and Adagio was once again left alone with her thoughts.  





It was Wednesday afternoon and Adagio was a burnt-out bomb shelter that had the miraculous ability to fill out paperwork.
At the moment, Adagio's mental processes were fully focused on the monotony of copying papers to be filed in triplicate. Adagio had once again failed to get anything but fitful, exhausting sleep last night, and she was thirsty, and more than anything she was angry at herself for getting so invested in a stupid boy. A part of her that rarely spoke unless it was important told her to stop calling him that, but she kicked it down the street and flipped another page. 
In between the fluttering of her eyelids, she suddenly found herself hearing a conversation in the break room. She hadn't really noticed her feet shuffling in there, nor her hands leaving with a warm mug of coffee, but her ears perked and she leaned on the wall next to the threshold when she heard familiar voices speaking urgently.
"And you're certain that you didn't see anything? She wasn't acting strange, or suspicious?" Said the voice of Ms. Harshwhinny; that fluffed-up donkey in human skin.
"No, not at all! The last thing I saw, she went into the elevator during her break, and she never came back!" Said the living irritant, Bon Bon, likely clutching that stupid camera to her chest like a stuffed animal. 
"She didn't mention anything that may have upset her?"
"Well...she did say she was going to the bathroom, but that may have been less of an emergency and more of an...well a sort of different emergency."
"The bathroom that has been locked since yesterday?"
"No ma'am, I think she was headed downstairs."
"I see. Well, thank you for reporting this to me, Miss Bon Bon. If you see any other bizarre happenstances in the office, I'd like you to report to me again, and not to Filthy Rich."
"Ma'am?"
"To be frank, Miss Bon Bon, this is the second person to disappear on me just this week, and while that is very concerning, I don't want to be known as a floor manager that allows valued employees to slip through the cracks. I intend to run a tight ship and I expect absolute professionalism on this floor. With that said, I hope these strange events haven't turned you away from staying on board. You've shown great promise at swiftly copying documents and memorizing information."
"Oh, well, that's nice of you to say!"
"Nice is not the word, Miss Bon Bon. It is merely an accurate observation of your skills. Don't sell yourself short."
"Uh...yes ma'am."
"And you may want to see someone about that shudder of yours. You're shaking like a cricket in spring."
"Yes ma'am. Sorry ma'am." 
"Excellent. As you were, then." When Ms. Harshwhinny turned out of the threshold, Adagio was already back at her cubicle.

Adagio let loose a deep breath and tried to bleed the venom out of her glare before casting it at Bon Bon.
"Is it a paper jam?" Bon Bon said. She took a picture of Adagio standing next to the printer for good measure. The tiny screen on the side was blinking with a large red 'X'. 
"Is this what you called me over here for?" Adagio grumbled.
"I don't really know what to do..." 
"Hit the button there with the little menu icon." There was a bleep. "Now hit the one that says 'diagnostic'." And then a bloop.
"It says its out of ink." Adagio exhaled with a deep sense of relief. It wasn't some infernal computing problem, just a normal, manageable analog issue. This she could navigate and still look professional. "What happens now?"
"Well, what would happen with an older printer is it would produce pictures that grew increasingly faded and light until it wouldn't print anything at all even after going through the motions. An excellent metaphor for office work. Or mortality, I suppose." Adagio smiled. 
"Uh..."
"Now, however, the machine will complain at you until you give it what it needs, which is ink." Adagio yawned.
"Right...so where do we get more ink?" Bon Bon's question was innocent enough, and perhaps it was the thirst or the lack of sleep, but Adagio struggled to check her own wickedness.
The natural answer was to just go to another floor and steal cartridges from them. Bon Bon was looking at 	Adagio with a mix of skepticism and curiosity, with a thin bit of anxiety beneath. Adagio had kept the young woman at arm's length so far, and she'd prefer to keep it that way. Explaining that she would steal ink carts would provoke follow-up questions, and Adagio was halfway mentally checked out of this shift. Follow-up questions wouldn't do. 
The next possible answer was probably what Harshwhinny, the detestable arm of management would want to hear. You put a little sign on the printer saying it's off, then turn it off, then fill a requisition form and ask for more cartridges and hope for a reply. 
Adagio decided that it would take too many words to explain that. 
"In case of an emergency, you can run out to the supply store around the corner and use your expense account to buy a few."	
"But isn't the expense account only for purchases related to but outside of work?" Bon Bon said. Adagio shut her eyes tight before they rolled across the floor.
"Yes, technically, but no one is going to begrudge you for using it creatively. You need to have access to what you need, even if you have to bend the rules a bit to get it. If the company won't see to your needs, you see to them yourself, that's all there is to it." Adagio said it like she was teaching third grade, and Bon Bon whipped out a little notepad and scribbled what Adagio hoped was an abridged version of the speech that did not credit her as a source.
"I get it, but what do we do about the ink right now?"
"Oh, go bother Harshwhinny about that. I'm going to go have a seat, and I don't know when I'll get up again." Adagio yawned. 





It was Thursday morning and Adagio's head was just about to fall in half.  After three mornings of auditory jackhammering on the edges of her psyche, Adagio's trolley ride had become something so excruciating that she knew her only recourse was to start taking a cab and damn the expense before she swore bloody vengeance against the very concept of public transportation. 
She thought distantly that she might have a better trip if she simply tore the ears right off her head, but that would only make a loud scene into a louder production. She had made an attempt at ordering some noise-canceling headphones on Monday before even bothering to head out, and they had yet to arrive. Same-day delivery was a filthy lie, and she would find some way to get back at the shipping company if it was her last act on this miserable plane. 
The pain rattling in her skull was only heightened as the trolley decided to stop in front of some road work in which tools better described as instruments of acoustic torture where being used, and Adagio felt a countdown start in the back of her head which began with ten and ended in wholesale slaughter. 
The rabble of the trolley had taken on more of a droning cadence as the dreaded presence of morning people meant a wide variety of inane small talk was sure to surround Adagio during her commute. She had almost gotten used to the white noise of the trolley, but today the street adjacent was filled with bumper to bumper honking, misfiring engines, and the occasional argument between drivers which never transitioned from obnoxiously loud to violently entertaining. Adagio's hands returned to her ears after rubbing her eyes, and she blinked several times before she realized that what she saw near the front of the trolley was real. 
It was impossible to forget the slope of those shoulders, or the light blue streak in his mulberry hair, or the slow, pained rolling of his sore neck. Buck was on the trolley, likely to work. But how? Why? Wasn't he supposed to be healing his fractured arm? He couldn't possibly be mentally well enough to play at being an extrovert for hours out of the day. What was he doing here?
Adagio also noticed that the seat next to him was vacant, but there was no way it would remain that way. Sunburst was right; Adagio was the worst thing in this man's life at the very moment and she knew it, but she also knew that just sitting around with her hands over her ears would only ensure that she wouldn't be seeing Buck again for a very long time. The next stop was only two blocks away, and any minute now, the trolley was going to fill to bursting. If Adagio let that happen, she would never have another chance to assess the damage she had done.
And so, against her better judgment, the advice of Sunburst and the screaming in the back of her head, Adagio rose on quivering knees. She put her fingers against her temples as she walked down the aisle to plant herself right next to Buck. 
He had his earphones in, and he was staring out the window. His left arm was still in a sling, and his right sat lonely in his lap. Adagio thought she might touch his hand to catch his attention, but he might slap it away, and she didn't think she could bear that. Sandwiched as they were by the commuters surrounding them, Adagio could not get a decent taste profile on Buck, but she could sense distantly that he was still radiating cold despair at the most. 
Adagio closed her eyes and counted to ten. She tried very hard to drown out the lunatic muttering of the trolley and just step into the moment. 
She failed. 
Adagio's jaw clenched and her fingers dug into her scalp and her head throbbed and she felt like her brain was a pebble in a rock tumbler. Her only thought then was that she shouldn't start crying before she even got to work, let alone in front of Buck. She was just about to choke out a greeting, but a truck's horn outside caused her thoughts to derail and tumble into the canyon next to the track.
"What are you doing here?" A spike of Buck's anger smashed into the side of Adagio's brain. He tasted furious, but it was only the tip of the spear. The rest was a coldness she didn't think Buck could ever articulate in words. 
"I'm on my way to work." It was a struggle to speak or to think.
"No, I mean why are you sitting next to me, Adagio?" 
"Are you going to pretend you don't know me, now?" Adagio tried to sound aloof, but it was more of a pained whimper as her brain writhed in agony. 
"Fucking...Are you going to pretend things are fine between us?" Adagio's eyes stayed on the hand in Buck's lap. It clenched and shook so much Adagio thought that Buck might bleed his own palm with his nails.
"Can we please talk?" 
"Fuck...no! No, I don't want to fuckin' talk to you, Adagio!" Buck lowered his voice into a whisper yell. Adagio held on to what she could taste in Buck; a swirling mess of anger and despair and resignation and exhaustion, and now anxiety right at the top. This was too soon, and it was also likely her only chance. "Do you have any fucking clue what...none of this is...I told you to stay away from me. I can't believe you'd be so fucking narcissistic as to think that I'd just...what? What's the matter? You're shaking."
"Buck pleheheeease..." Adagio's hands flew back to her ears. She was sitting in a whirlpool of Buck's hurt, and outside of that was the mad cacophony of public transit. It was like sitting in the middle of a mad orchestra pit. She screwed her eyes shut and tried not to sob.
Adagio couldn't really understand what Buck was saying now. She couldn't hear him over the shrieking of the wheels on the tracks or the arguments happening toward the back and out the window and on the sidewalk. The clearest thing in the world was Buck's emotions, which shifted into another flash of anger, then concern, denial of that concern, and then bald compassion. She felt his hand on her shoulder and his arm around her neck. He was saying something else.
"-can you hear me?" Buck's voice had gone soft, and it was just over Adagio's ear.
"Barely...I underestimated the effect this hell box would have on my sensitive ears. Like the whole world is screaming and falling to pieces." 
"You're overstimulated."
"You're not perfect either, Buck."
"It hasn't even been a week." Buck's hand returned to his lap. 
"What?"
"It hasn't even been a week and you're playing me again." Buck's teeth gritted.
"I'm not--I'm not trying to manipulate you, Buck!" Adagio grunted. The trolley bounced and nearly disheveled her straight out of her seat.
"What the fuck do you call this, then?" Buck's pain was invading Adagio's heart. She kept rubbing her eyes and looking away from him and clutching her chest. She was too weak for this; she couldn't acclimate to his emotions, and now the ache in her heart threatened to shut down her nervous system. Adagio grabbed onto the rail on the seat before her just to keep steady. 
"I'm sorry!" Adagio whispered.
"No, you're just sorry you got caught!" Buck had run halfway between a growl and a yell. He looked like he was struggling to hold himself together as well.
"Not about that, I'm sorry for right now."
"Why?"
"Because I need your help. Buck please, help me get through this and I'll leave you alone." She could not believe how far she had fallen. 
Adagio reached out, looking for a speck of the spicy-sweet love that Buck overflowed with before, but all she could find was a chilling abyss. She swam in that lonely place, groping blindly for something to hold onto, and she found purchase on a tiny raft that tasted of grim solidarity and compassion. Another of Buck's weaknesses. The thought withered on the vine in her head. Her fists were shaking in her lap.
Adagio felt a tug on her ear and then reached up to press at the earbud that had been placed there. The line ran down to her lap and up to Buck's other ear. 

https://soundcloud.com/user-172575235/when-i-fall-in-love-bucks-cover

"Listen, just close your eyes and listen, okay? It's just you and me. " Buck soothed. His arm was around her again. He was speaking softly in her ear. 
What came down the wire was a song that must have seemed very old to Buck. It was a ballad that Adagio could only barely remember, but the words found new meaning when they came from Buck.

"When I fall in love
It will be forever
Or I'll never fall
in love..."
When it was released, this song was about the search for eternal love in another person. As Buck sang it, however, Adagio understood it as something far more depressing. Even so, Buck's hand squeezed and stroked tenderly at her shoulder, and his honey voice swelled gently in the small space between them until it filled Adagio's whole world.
"In a restless world like this is
Love is ended before it's begun.
And too many moonlight kisses
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun..."
Buck's words trembled. He tasted of regret and pain and quiet resignation. And just the very thinnest veneer of hope.
"When I give my heart
It will be completely
Or I'll never give my heart..."
For all Adagio had seen of Buck, she hadn't understood how significant she was to him.  
"And the moment
I can feel that you feel that way too
is when I'll fall in love
with you..." 

And when he realized that all he was to her was a meal, his heart had torn itself apart. It wasn't so much that he couldn't love Adagio Dazzle, it's that he simply didn't think Adagio could ever feel for him the way he felt for her. In this way, the lyrics of the song spoke of Buck wanting for something impossible. 
As Adagio floated on the song's tender refrain, she could not escape the pressing needles of every subtle pain in Buck's heart. The trolley was gone. Adagio escaped the pandemonium around her to sit in Buck's despair. Why did he have to choose this song? Was he lashing out, or was he just painfully honest? 
For all the ache she felt now, Adagio realized suddenly that Buck had just cast a song of Calm on her, just like she used to do for her sisters. He let go of her and took the earbud out of his own ear.
"Buck..." Adagio reached for his hand, but he snatched it away. She looked up and saw tears on his face. She looked around and found that the chattering of the trolley had stopped. Some people were now recording them with smartphones, but most were simply staring. The earbuds dropped into Adagio's lap.
"Keep 'em. You need 'em more than I do." Buck choked out.
"Buck, please..." Adagio drew close to say it softly, but Buck looked away. 
"I did that because you needed help, and you asked." Buck said. He tried to hide against the window, but Adagio could taste how much it hurt for him to simply look at her. If he hated her that much, he could at least have the courtesy to scream in her face. 
"Buck, I swear I'm not trying to get under your skin. This is just a coincidence."
"Sure. And so was sniffing me out at speed datin'. So was coming to fake an apology for chasing me around. So was pretending like you gave a shit when you overstepped my bounds. All of it was just a coincidence."
"That's not what I mean, Buck!" Adagio tried desperately to get her tears to stop.
"Come to think of it, you never once said you cared about me. I thought you were being cute, but I basically had to force you to say that you even liked me. I should've known. How hard was it to put up with me, Adagio? How desperately did you need a meal to settle for a guy like me?" Adagio was knocked over by a wave of bitter melancholy.
"You're not being fair, Buck." Adagio sobbed. She hadn't meant it to come out that way. She couldn't understand why Buck was acting this way. He had been so deft and such an odd savant at charming Adagio so far and getting what he wanted, but now he just tasted like a sadistic honesty. Cold torture coiled around Adagio's heart and squeezed down. 
"All of the time we've spent together was based on a lie. You made me want to love you, Adagio, and none of it was fuckin' real."
"Buck..." Adagio's breath got caught in her throat as the weight of guilt settled across her shoulders for the first time in millennia.
"Get up." Buck was only just keeping it together, but it clearly wouldn't last. Adagio couldn't meet his eyes, so she settled for staring at his feet. "I said get up. This is my stop." Adagio limply pinched at the sleeve of his work shirt as he shuffled by.
"Buck please, we don't have to go to work. I can...I can pay you whatever they would pay you for the day, please Buck, we can talk about this pleasepleaseplease..." Adagio said. She tried to be as quiet as possible, but she knew the cameras were on the two of them now. This was the cost of fame, however brief.
"Leave me the fuck alone." Buck said, yanking his sleeve free. 





Bon Bon had been surprisingly quiet today. She had asked Adagio once or twice for a writing utensil, but beyond that, it seemed that she and the rest of the office were content to leave Adagio to her stupor as she navigated her paperwork. Then Adagio's forehead found the coolness of the table in the breakroom and her eyes closed and Home beckoned to her. She desperately missed the silence and the cold and the dark, until a warm hand tapped her shoulder. 
"What." It was more an accusation than a question of intent. Bon Bon looked down at Adagio with rosy cheeks and sat down next to her.
"I...um, I just wanted to ask...well, Buck has a reputation, you know, and I guess I just wanted to ask, um...what...uh, what's he like?" Bon Bon said. In the space of the sentence, she had gone from checking her phone to placing it face down on the table to shoving it into her pocket. It made Adagio wonder why anyone would check social media for any reason besides obligation. There was so much she could say right now, but so much of Buck's proclivities now seemed like something just out of reach, and the distance made her furious and needy. 
Adagio closed her eyes and smiled bitterly as she thought of his hands on her in his kitchen and his needy little pecking kisses and the way he tasted like bubbly affection every time he saw the curve of her ass. 
"He's...very sweet." Adagio said, finally. Then, she put her forehead to the table and refused to respond any further.

The sound of Adagio's nails clicking sluggishly back and forth across the keyboard was suddenly interrupted by the buzzing of her phone some few hours later. She blinked the sleep out of her eyes and checked. 
Lunchtime. Her tart would be waiting for her downstairs. She looked at her paperwork. More than half done, even with her being semi-cogent. Her thoughts droned dumbly as she shuffled into the elevator. The doors closed, a little bell dinged, and exactly one and a half trips down the shaft later, Adagio stomped out of the elevator doors, then across the office. She saw Ms. Harshwhinny exiting the break room, licking her fingers. 
"Oh, you're looking content today." It came out a bit like an answering machine; Adagio having shifted involuntarily into her 'customer service' voice.
"Oh, Miss Adagio! You're looking well. Would you believe it? I was down in the lobby checking if the new ink cartridge had been delivered, and someone was kind enough to anonymously treat me to a little lunch from Sugar Cube Corner! Isn't that just delightful?" Adagio's thought process crashed into a brick wall. 
"Anonymously, you said?"
"Yes, Miss Vapor Trail was very insistent that it was an anonymous gift. Incredibly thoughtful, and tastefully packaged." Harshwhinny said, wiping her mouth with a handkerchief. She made an uncomfortable cough. 
Even as far away from reality as Adagio was at the moment, she could detect how embarrassed the dry old harpy was for getting so excited just now.   
"I see. Well, have a lovely day, then." Adagio said. She turned to head to the bathroom just as her eyes shifted to a murderous red. 
Adagio took the elevator and headed to the rather barren and unused bathroom a couple of floors down.
Isolated inside the stall, she took a deep breath and counted to ten.
When she hit six, she screamed bloody murder. 





It was Friday morning and nothing mattered anymore. Adagio had spent the rest of Thursday barely conscious of the world around her, stewing in the heartbreak she had drunk from Buck.
Adagio knew now the only thing to do was give him space, but for how long? If she sat on the sidelines for too long, one day Adagio would find out Buck had grown grey, and she didn't think he'd be quite as attractive to her as a geriatric.
"Are you okay?" Through the cold ocean, Adagio grabbed at a hand. When it wrenched her from her despair, she rolled her eyes and tried to let go. It was Bon Bon. 
"I'm fine. What do you need?" Adagio said. She meant to recline over her desk, but her hand rested painfully at her temple instead of her cheek.
"You look terrible...is it because you and Buck are fighting?" Adagio spied a social media feed on Bon Bon's presented phone. 
What she saw was a video of Buck singing to her on the trolley but from the back. The caption read 'Canterlot Power Couple Arguing?' It sounded like she and Buck were having a quiet disagreement, and in a sense that was true, but she also watched as the trolley's heads turned to the couple as Buck began to croon, then a zoom-in as Buck jerked his sleeve out of her grasp and walked off. The comments were about as vicious as expected.
"What did she do? Didn't like the song?"
"They definitely fightin"
"Whatever just give her to me lol" 
"His voice is nice."
"He ugly as hell"
"So are they for real dating???" 
"Not anymore lol", and it went on like that for a while. Adagio once again felt the unwelcome company of a migraine knocking on the door of her skull.
"It hasn't even been twenty four hours. How is this already viral?" Adagio groaned.
"You've been kind of down. Was he singing to cheer you up?"
"No, Bon Bon."
"So you two really are fighting?" Bon Bon gasped. "Was that a breakup song!?"
"No, Bon Bon, it wasn't. Now, why don't you--"
"Do you need relationship advice? Because I think I know a thing or two about this stuff, and I bet if you let me give you a little makeup and go to him and--"
"No...no...NO...SHUT UP!" Adagio had started at a quiet mumble, but it rose slowly until Adagio screamed at the woman. "It's none of your business who I'm seeing! I don't care what you have to say, and I'm not letting you do my makeup! If you're so concerned about my wellbeing, why don't you go and get me some coffee like a good little intern instead of babbling in my ear like a retarded parrot!" 
"I'm sorry Miss Adagio." Bon Bon's tone had gone mousey, like a seven-year-old talking to their math teacher.
"Just GO!" Adagio roared. Bon Bon ran, and the rest of the office ducked their heads back down into their cubicles as Adagio looked around.
"Filthy humans..." Adagio grumbled.
"Miss Adagio Dazzle?" Said Harshwhinny's distant drawl. Adagio froze. "I'd like to see you in my office. Expediently." A door clicked shut just in time for a camera to click. Bon Bon lowered the Polaroid and disappeared into the break room.





"Let me cut straight to the heart. You are out of line, Ms. Adagio Dazzle." Come to think of it, Adagio had never been in Ms. Harshwhinny's office before. She noticed a thin layer of dust on her desk that seemed loudly out of place. 
"You and I both know that your behavior out on the floor just now was unacceptable. What is your explanation?"
"Isn't it obvious that I'm exhausted from doing my own work in addition to the work of another person? Do you think it's acceptable to saddle me with the trainee on top of that, all while I'm being scandalized for sitting on the trolley with company? Or are you under the impression that I'm made of stone?" Adagio chose her words carefully, but couldn't conceal the icicles dripping from them. Harshwhinny's sour milk expression didn't shift in the slightest. She simply took out a tablet, tapped some keys, and then placed it on her desk.
"I understand. With the disappearance of our receptionist downstairs, all told this has been a costly week for our staff. I apologize if I've been a bit of a taskmaster just lately, as I understand now that I've overburdened you. I suppose I haven't been exactly fair to you this week, Miss Adagio Dazzle." Adagio barely caught the sarcastic remark that tried to charge past her lips.
"Be that as it may, we can't afford to have you explode on new team members, and so disciplinary action must be taken." Adagio rolled her eyes. This is her favorite part, isn't it? 
"For your behavior on the floor today, you will take a week to recuperate. This will be paid time off, but will not cut into your amassed vacation days. You will put up a concerted effort to rest and get some much needed sleep. If you are not rested when you return, you will discuss the circumstances with me before I allow you to continue working."
"Excuse me?"
"You've served this company well, Miss Dazzle, but if you don't get proper rest you won't be any good to anyone. I would advise you to take this time to sort yourself out. Have I made myself clear?"
"And who's going to handle my accounts while I'm off sorting?"
"Myself, of course." There was a pregnant pause between the two women. Adagio took a deep breath.
"Understood. Thank you, ma'am." 
"No need. I'm simply doing whatever it takes to maintain a par of professionalism in this office. Do see that you rest well, Miss Dazzle." 
"Thank you, ma'am." Adagio sighed. The world was droopy and dim as Adagio settled her desk and headed off. She naturally didn't notice Bon Bon taking yet another picture of her exhausted expression as she shuffled out of the office.





It was some part of Saturday and nothing had gotten better. Adagio had desperately sniffed at Buck's pillow until her nose stung, and that wasn't enough. She had ordered room service in the form of a box full of tarts from Sugar Cube Corner and that hadn't helped either. Adagio's stomach rumbled a warning so consistently that she'd only managed about two hours of what could be generously compared to sleep.
Her throat was dry and her stomach was a howling wasteland. 
It normally took longer for her to get like this, but she supposed she was spoiled. Buck had been an endless source of affection, and now Adagio was feeling the full weight of his absence. If Adagio didn't feed tonight, the hunger pangs would reduce her to delirium, and then she truly would be the most dangerous thing in Canterlot.
And so, Adagio sluggishly dressed, made her face up, and hid her hair within a hoodie. It was one of Buck's. Adagio went to one of her old haunts on the edge of the city, sat on a stool with a glass of brandy, and just waited.
In no time at all a greasy, overconfident idiot had found her. He looked like the sort that had 'peaked' during a keg stand in a fraternity and was still chasing that high. 
He stank of greed and insecurity. He would have to do.
Adagio tried her best to play sweet and tease him. She wanted to seem easy and a bit desperate, and the moron took it hook line and sinker. Adagio asked him if he'd be kind enough to drive her home, and the man agreed with a disgusting condition.
Now Adagio was in a dingy back alley again, and once again she had some filthy human's grubby hands on her. Old habits die hard, said a cackling voice in the back of her head.
"You think a little girl like you can take what I got for you?" His breath stank of crackers and cheap beer next to her face. She refused to look into his eyes.
"I'll...I'll try..." Adagio said in her best attempt at a barely legal voice. The man's hand was under her shirt, groping clumsily. 
"What was that?" He growled. His hand yanked out and grabbed her roughly by the throat.
"I'll try, sir." Adagio coughed.
"There's a good little girl. You're shakin', there? Did big daddy scare you?" Adagio couldn't stop shaking with rage and indignity. His lust and greed were a stale, greasy sandwich that was more bacon than anything else. 
"Please don't hurt me, sir..."
"Hurt ya? Oh no, big daddy's gonna treat you nice...if you treat him nice. Now why're you lookin' away?" He sniffed at her hair.
"It's been a long week, sir. I'm...tired."
"Yeah...me too. I've had a real long week, alright. Long and pent up. Why don't you help me unwind?" He growled.
"Unwind, sir?" His hand grabbed artlessly at her hair and yanked her down to crotch height. 
"Go on. It won't bite." It was more like a horse barking than a chuckle. Adagio drifted a bit and nearly faded, but she caught herself. It had been so long. She had earned this. 
Adagio wordlessly unwrapped the imbecile and managed to be offended in just about every way. The presence of it snapped her back into wakefulness, but with a tool very inappropriate for fairy tales. She had acquired a horrible clarity. Her eyes widened and she realized the situation. She assessed. She shrugged. The alleyway was dark enough to conceal the subtle changes.
Red eyes always came first, then the gills, then the smile, then the voice. He couldn't see her properly through the alcohol and the entitlement.
"Well? What're you waiting for, Babe?"
"YOU DON'T GET TO USE THAT NAME!" It was the whistling howl of the ocean through a tiny cave. Adagio's teeth became long, daggerlike, and serrated. Two more rows of them rippled along the inside of Adagio's distended maw, a bit more eel than shark. The man was half to a scream when his breath exploded out of him in a cry of agony. Adagio's arm reached much too far to slam a webbed claw into his face and the wall into the back of his head. Adagio twisted her neck roughly like an alligator's roll and a squelching snap ripped through the alley. Coward's blood trailed down her chin. She had almost forgotten the taste.
"I forgive you." The man's wailing cry was his only answer. It was a busy night; no one would hear. Was it raining? Adagio was wet.
"You offended me. Your scent was like turpentine and grease, but now it's like blood and fear. Two of my favorites."
"H-H-H-" The man shuddered.
"Fear? Fear. Now? Of course. This is where they learn fear. Every time. You men are all the same." Adagio's voice trilled and laughed. Her vision hazed with green.
"H-HEEEELP! HEEEE-" The man suddenly seemed to have lost his voice. Adagio had forgotten that spell. The man's panic rose as he realized that Adagio was holding what he assumed was his voice between her fingers. It was a tiny mote of light, wriggling between her fingers like a worm on a hook.
The fool reached for something up over her shoulder. Hope. for just a moment. Adagio looked up and back and saw nothing and no one. The barracuda smile widened.
The thing that was Adagio smiled down at the toy and then swallowed its voice like a fresh grape. She prowled toward him with the murderous grace of a house cat spotting a fly.
"I put a spell on you...and now you're miiiine~"  The man's eyelids fluttered and his silently screaming face grew just a bit slack. Far too much of his blood was on the asphalt.
"You can't STOP the things I DO!
I ain't lyiiiin~" 
She punctuated her sensuous song with her claws raking through the man's chest. She licked at the blood around her lips.
"Show me your fear!" It squealed in the man's face, teeth flashing, voice warbling and trilling. The man's salty fear surged into the monster's throat like a glowing jet of boiling blood. It drank deeply and felt its fins unfurl, its ears perk up. It was pure satisfaction. 
She could never let herself get so thirsty again. How could she forget the purpose of humans? How could she let herself get so desperate and so empty when fools waiting to be drank buzzed like flies around her head?
She stumbled to her feet and finally felt Adagio Dazzle return. 

Suddenly, her wrist smacked painfully backward into the bricks. 
Adagio wrenched at her arm and saw a head-sized wad of greenish slime had pasted her to the wall. Another snapped her left foot back, sticking it tight as well. 
Adagio's eyes blinked quickly and looked around the alley at top speed, her nose fought past her own fear in order to sense the intentions of someone nearby.
A confusion of emotions surrounded her. Dying fear, confusion, glee. Glee? Above her. 
"Who are you!?" Adagio shouted. 
There was nothing, briefly. Then a sound like crickets chirping, which contorted unnaturally
into something resembling laughter.
Adagio shrieked as a lanky form descended from the rooftop, emerald eyes blazing. Her scream ceased.  
And then there was silence.
> ((Explicit)) Chapter 18 - Easy Lover  (Phil Collins and Phillip Bailey)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Anyone who knew Ditzy Doo well could tell you that the woman was used to being lost in the woods. This week for Ditzy was more like getting lost at the DMV without an appointment. She had no idea what to do with herself.  She'd had to explain thrice to Dinky why Buck was crying next door. 
The first time he was chopping onions, second time he was reading a sad story, third time was no it doesn't matter what that Pound Cake kid says, boys are allowed to cry! Dinky was worried that Adagio had put a hex on Buck, which Ditzy supposed was sorta true, but Ditzy said that really, Buck was just going through something strange and sad. Ditzy just wished she knew what it was. 
At first, she was busted up because she thought that Buck and Adagio were an actual couple, but then she got to work and things got way more confusing. Scootaloo told her that Buck and Adagio had a fight; the worst one yet and now Buck was heartbroken. She wouldn't say anything else, which probably meant she wanted to say a whole bunch more, but Ditzy could guess. Adagio had said something really cruel to Buck, or she got tired of pretending to be nice, or she had pushed him and he stood up to her and that was that. 
But she had seen them on TV. Buck looked happy, at least for the bit that she saw. Beat up, sure, but weirdly happy, next to Adagio. How could he be happy, when he'd gone through so much magic nonsense in such a short time? Why was he suddenly so sad? What could have happened?
Before, Buck's tears were a whispered sob. Now they were like the wailing that Dinky did that time she got lost in Barnyard Bargains. Being at home this Sunday was like living in a haunted house.
Buck sounded wounded. Ditzy understood him well enough by now to know that he'd need time to gather himself back up again before he wanted to talk. Talk. Boy did they need to talk, and boy was Ditzy scared to talk. 
But if Buck had just broken up with Adagio, he might think Ditzy was trying to catch him on the rebound, and she knew that just wouldn't be right. She also knew that he needed her now more than ever. What could she do?
Well, Ditzy knew there was one sure way to put Buck in a comfy space, and Ditzy was gonna do it. 




It took Buck's rumbling stomach to get him out of his bedroom. By then his eyes were sore and his cheeks were salty and red. The only other breakup that hurt this bad was when he'd left Her. At least then he didn't have a busted arm. 
His usual cures for depression weren't working. A hot bubble bath was off the table because he couldn't let his arm hang, and he couldn't write either. All he could do was awkwardly jerk off or watch TV or read, but none of them helped. He couldn't escape the pile of anxieties on his shoulders, even into a pleasant fantasy. 
Instead, Buck sat at his desk and stared out his window, just like he did just before meeting Adagio. Amazing how little things changed. The bill for his rent sat next to the one for utilities; the duo glaring up at Buck with quiet condemnation.
As he heard the pot on his stove boiling, Buck dragged himself to his feet and told himself to just get through this. Buck's mind quietly asked which 'this' did he mean.
Was it the unwanted press attention he was sure to get soon, or the hope that the local news would not become national news because he didn't want to talk to Mom about it, the fact that he hadn't talked to Ditzy about that kiss, the bit about how he was apparently magic and had been the whole time, or the fact that if he didn't get some kinda money sometime soon, he'd be boiling this same top ramen over a campfire in a fucking alleyway once the month rolled over.
And then, of course, there was the bit where his heart was broken. Everything hurt from the fight on the Boardwalk but nothing hurt so god damn much as Buck's heart.  
The fact of the matter was that Adagio had used him. Had been using him the whole time. He was her meal ticket, and he never knew that he was a feast for her. As he dropped the noodles briefly onto the floor and then into the pot, Buck tripped into his classic tradition of overthinking. A corner of his head swore that if he ruined another bowl of ramen like this then there would be a rebellion. 
Adagio had wanted him for his magic the whole time, which made sense since Buck didn't think he was either much to look at or all that charming. Adagio must've sniffed him out at speed dating and then targeted him. He was easy, so all she had to do was snuggle up and Buck had gone along, despite the red flags. That made sense; Buck had something Adagio wanted, so she led him along until...until what? What the hell was she going to do with him? What the fuck did it mean to be a magic generator in a world without magic? Did this have to do with hanging out with the Rainbooms or was Buck always magic and nobody ever bothered to mention? And if he was super magical, glitter just shooting out his ass when he wasn't looking, what the fuck did that mean going forward? If kissing on Adagio meant rifts to Equestria opening up, what would that mean if he and Ditzy got together? Buck was affectionate; if he felt too strongly about someone he'd be putting them in danger, so what the fuck was he supposed to do? 
"Be alone forever I guess." Buck mumbled. "You're bad at emotions in the first place, how're you supposed to feel anything when you might end up puttin' people in danger? This must be how Mark Ruffalo feels. Like I'm the least hot person in Thor Ragnarok and also kind of the Hulk." His feet had wandered away from the stove, and now they were pacing him around the living room.
There were so many damned questions that he'd need answering. How much did Sunburst and Starlight know that they weren't letting on? How long had his best friend been dating a monster hunter? How the fuck could he control this?
And then there was the obvious bit. What about Adagio? What would she do now that she'd been found out? Would she retaliate against Starlight, or maybe come after Sunburst or Ditzy or Scoots and hold them ransom? Would she just try to catch Buck alone and drink him down? Or would she try to play him again? Buck wanted to think that she wasn't like that, but he knew after Saturday that Adagio Dazzle would do whatever it took to get what she wanted.
What was he going to do for money? What would he say to Ditzy? Questions swarmed like mosquitos biting into his grey matter. It was too much; everything about Saturday was too much and so was making lunch, apparently. 
The noodles had been reduced to a sizzling, smoking mess fusing to the pot, and as Buck kicked himself for getting distracted, he tried to figure out how all of this was his fault. 

A knock at the door snapped Buck out of his typical self-loathing. The package was a simple white delivery box, and on top, it said 'To Buck, from Adagio'. It was a new phone. Well, it was exactly the same model as his old phone, with the same case, like a meticulous reproduction. 
When he booted it, it had the numbers of Adagio, Scootaloo, and Sunburst. It was terribly considerate, especially for her, Buck thought, and then his vision blurred with tears again. He wondered how long it would be before he could look at the phone without hurting.
Today his arm was especially sore, but it was sore early for a break, which Buck assumed meant that Starlight's healing spell was working. He could still work, even if it was just hitting buttons. 
Buck set the pot on the growing pile sink dishes, setting it to soak with as much care as he could muster. He tried to use the task as an anchor because drifting on his own shitty feelings was only making things worse.
Maybe he could distract himself by dusting and vacuuming. As long as he kept moving, he wouldn't have to sit and stew. 
"Well, if I'm very lucky--which I'm not--or very clever--which I'm not--maybe I can navigate all of this before the cops catch me standing around talking to myself."
Buck dipped into his emergency burrito stock, which he kept for the semi-frequent occasions in which he managed to cock up at cooking, and after washing the tear streaks from his face, he thought he might be able to limp his way through the workweek. It wasn't until Thursday that he managed to stop wallowing in self-pity and head out to work. 





Buck heaved a sigh of relief as he entered Sugar Cube Corner. Thursdays were usually decent for deliveries, which meant he didn't see Ditzy as he walked in. That meant he wouldn't have to try and stumble through a cogent conversation with her yet. He was so scared of opening up on her about this, he didn't seem to notice Scoots waving at him as he crossed the floor and put his things away in his little locker.
On top of that distraction, his guts were all twisted up because Adagio cornered him on the trolley. He was still shaking a bit after that, and he'd...man, why'd he have to pick that damn song? He'd been drowning out his shitty mood in old crooner songs from the '50s, then Adagio came looking helpless and...well, what the fuck was he supposed to do?
"A man is kind." He muttered.
"Buck! Hey, uh, are you okay to work?" Said a sheepish Scoots. She still had bandages on her arms, but she looked no worse for wear, and that made Buck feel a little more steady.
"Not even okayish, Scoots, but I'm doin' my best."
"I'm not...good at this kinda thing, but do you uh...wanna talk about it?"
"No."
"Oh thank goodness." Scoots exhaled. The clock ticked. It was quiet.
"Did I miss the rubber neckers?" Buck said casually, after what felt like a thousand years.
"Oh yeah, you should've seen it! A buncha people came barging in here on Monday, asking how I knew Adagio and why I know you! It was crazy! Most of them didn't even tip!" Scoots said. 
"Sounds about right. Scoots...how's Ditzy?"
"You don't know?"
"Haven't seen her just lately. I think she's givin' me space."
"Oh...well...uh, you didn't hear it from me, but she was really down when she came in on Monday. I told her about what happened, and then she was just sorta confused. More than usual. At least I think, I don't super know her that well."
"Well, she doesn't really do confrontation, and she's probably worried that I'll snap at her if she talks to me. She's been on my mind."
"Yeah?"
"Everything's been on my mind." Buck said. "It feels like there's a million things on my shoulders just waitin' to topple over if I step wrong." 
"That sounds pretty scary, Buck."
"I don't know what to do, Scoots."
"'bout what?"
"Everything. Everything's all fucked up." Buck had found his way to one of the tables. His eyes hurt almost as much as his arm. 
*DING DONG*
Buck was halfway scrambled back to his workstation when he realized who it was. 
"...hi Buck." Ditzy Doo came in, returning a dolly cart that had probably been stacked with boxes a little earlier.
"Hey, Ditzy. Done with your deliveries?" Buck tried to cut through the murky awkwardness with a smile, but it came out pained and uncomfortable.
"Yeah...I mean, no, there's probably gonna be more, uh...how's the arm?" Ditzy Doo said. Her hand flew up to adjust her hair but got a little scared and so decided to hide at the back of her neck instead.
"It hurts, but it's coming together real fast." The statement drifted off lazily between the ticks of the clock. Ditzy smiled that awkward smile that usually reassured Buck, and with it as motivation, he managed to find just a tiny speck of bravery. "Ditzy, can we talk, please? It's raw, I know, but there's somethin' I gotta--"
The delivery chime rang on the little tablet at the front desk, and on Ditzy's phone.
"Oops, sorry, gotta get going!" Ditzy tried to beat a hasty retreat but mostly managed to smack her elbow in the kitchen threshold before awkwardly shuffling out with another box of treats. "We'll talk later Buck, bye!" 
And then she was off again. Buck's fist came down on the counter and then immediately regretted doing so.
"Shit!"
"...are you mad at Ditzy?"
"No, Scoots."
"Are you mad at Adagio?"
"...No. I'm mad at myself for lettin' her play me." 
Buck swallowed the dryness in his throat. It was sore and only served to make the quiet moment more uncomfortable.
"Buck...do you like Ditzy? 'cause if you do, you should tell her, and also Adagio."  Scoots said. It came out like a shy lunchroom query. 
"Why would I...it doesn't matter, really." Buck said.
"Why not?"
"Because I need to tell Ditzy that I'm magic. When I do that, she won't want anything to do with me."
"What? Why!?"
"'cause she hates magic, Scoots. Fuckin' hates it. And that's not the worst of it; I think...I think she wants to get intimate with me, but we can't, 'cause what if my magic flares up and somethin' happens? If I hurt her, I couldn't live with myself, Scoots." 
"Woah...Buck, are you okay?" Buck touched the wetness on his cheek. He grimaced and wiped his face with his sleeve. He needed to cut this shit out. He was dangerous. 
"No." 
"Okay...uh...well...do you wanna hug?" Buck looked up from his hands and down at Scoots. Her big purple eyes were filled with sympathy and her arms were outstretched. It would be his first human contact in days, and with no strings attached. He turned away.
"I don't think I should." And then he felt her warmth on his back. Scoots' arms were barely long enough to get around his waist, but as she squeezed, Buck felt just a little bit of the tension in his head level off. 
"Is this weird...?" Scoots murmured into his back.
"Everything's weird right now. It's okay, I think." Scoots squeezed him tighter. She wasn't acting herself, and it made Buck forget a little of his own troubles. 
"I missed you, bro." Scoots said against his back. 
"It's only been a coupl'a days, Scoots." Buck said. It was gentle, or at least he intended it to be. He patted Scoots hands where they met at his stomach, and she quickly retreated from him. When he turned to look, Buck saw Scoots' face all flushed, and she was awkwardly facing forward.
"...It's boring here without you." Scoots said.
"Scoots? Were you worried about me?" 
"Shut up, Buck!" Scoots snapped.
"If you insist." Buck shrugged. He could almost feel the heat of embarrassment washing off Scoots. It took her a little while to relax again.
"Okay...are you gonna catch on fire if I go use the bathroom?" Scoots eventually said.
"Probably, but go on anyway." Buck chuckled. 
And then he was alone. 
Buck looked at the clock. Not even an hour had passed since he got in. His eyes felt heavy.
"God damn. I ache in so many ways, right now." He sighed.
*DING DONG*
"Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner!" Buck's customer service voice came out automatically. Striding across the floor on a pair of purple heels was...someone he didn't recognize right away. She had carefully styled short blonde hair, dark tan skin, and an intimately familiar set of lines just under her eyes. She strode like a supermodel on a tightrope up to the counter, then stared at Buck for several seconds.
"Is there something I can get for you, ma'am?" Buck said, finally. His worksona settled in with restrained enthusiasm and smiled just ahead of his real face. 
"I'm here to do a bit of window shopping, Mr...?" She said. Buck gestured helpfully to his name tag. "Purple Prose. That's a reasonably pleasant name." She said. Her heels tapped on the tile as she walked along the length of the display case. Buck couldn't help but notice the back view on the older woman. She had a silhouette that would've fit well on a playboy cover about a decade ago. She was wearing a purple lady suit with a matching pair of slacks. They were very tight around the ass. Focus, man.
"Thanks? Um...do I know you from somewhere?" 
"I severely doubt it. My name is Ms. Harshwhinny, and I happen to work at the Barnyard Bargains Super Tower, just a few blocks from here." Buck caught his wince before it could slip out. So it was that one, then. Adagio had complained about her enough for Buck to understand Ms. Harshwhinny. It was time for him to play boomer baby talk again. 
"Well, ma'am."
"Miss would be preferred."
"...well, Miss, if you'd like a sampler plate, I can set that up for you. It can be hard to decide on a treat, since they're all so good. I'd recommend the minty fudge cupcakes, which in my professional opinion are better than any other cupcake in Canterlot." Buck said.
"Hm. That sounds a bit sharp and wild. Do you have something a bit more subdued?"
"If you want something tender and sweet, there's the vanilla matcha cheese cake, which goes gorgeously with other caffeinated things, like a black tea or a coffee. I think it'd suit a business woman like yourself." Buck said. His posture had changed. It was odd, how comforting it was to just sort of slip into another role when the real you is a disaster. 
"And what about something a bit riskier?" Ms. Harshwhinny said. She was bent over, studying the case, in side profile to Buck.
"Miss?" Ms. Harshwhinny rose and did a quick runway 180 to look at Buck, who tilted his head, not unlike a dog before snapping back to attention. "I didn't catch that."
"Something riskier." Harshwhinny grimaced; or maybe her face was just naturally like that, and turned toward the window, leaning against the edge of the display case. "Something dark, spicy and perhaps a bit fruity. Preferably thick and satisfying." It was at that point that Buck's eyebrow rose. 
"...well I'm sorry to say that our passionfruit jalapeño ice cream cake poppers won't be properly in stock until they're done testing. But we do have a spiced rum ball red velvet cupcake! Hey, between you and me?" Buck said, conspiratorially. Harshwhinny took on a wry smile and leaned in. 
"It's got homemade butter cream icing on top. Better than sex!" Buck whispered. Ms. Harshwhinny turned away with a dark, chittering giggle. 
"Oh, Mr. Purple Prose, Adagio was right about you." Ms. Harshwhinny laughed.
"Eh?"
"Well, she talks about you from time to time, when pressed. She once said that things are 'never boring' with you around." Ms. Harshwhinny said. 
"Ah, well."
"She's also said that you are famous for missing the point. A man with your reputation ought to have clued in by now." Harshwhinny said. 
"Miss, I see what you're gettin' at, and I'm tellin' you that I'm not only not interested but my damn arm's in a cast."
"Is that so?"
"Well yeah, it's still mostly broken, I think." 
"Well, it's just that I happen to have a lucrative opening that you may wish to seize. A man of your talents will fit right in, I assure you." Her businesslike tone hadn't lost a step, but now Harshwhinny was frowning across the counter, leaning forward slightly.
"Look, lady. I don't know what you've heard, but I'm not like that." 
"Oh please, any man that can reach the standards of someone like Adagio Dazzle is worth something. If she's chosen you as her bedmate, I should like to see your skills for myself. I don't believe in wasting marketable skills, Mr. Purple Prose. It would hardly be unpleasant for you." Harshwhinny stepped slowly around the counter, then reached out to stroke at Buck's chin.
"First of all, don't touch me." Buck slapped Harshwhinny's hand away. Her scowl flickered, almost a smirk. "Second, I ain't cheap, lady. 'specially not for you." Buck said, crossing his arms. 
"And what makes you think I won't compensate you appropriately?" Harshwhinny plucked a checkbook from her jacket pocket and quickly scrawled on it a number with enough zeros to pull a gasp out of Buck.
"And what do you say now, Mr. Purple Prose?" Buck felt like he was naked at an open mic night. He caught his breath. The wall clock ticked thunderously out of sync with the pop music jiving through Sugar Cube Corner.
"...what do you want me to do?"
"I want you to meet me in a private location and let me have a lovely evening in your care. After which I will leave you be and we will never speak of this again, unless of course you'd like to pursue a more consistent form of employment under me."
"Was that a joke?"
"You will give me your assurances that you are not carrying any venereal diseases, and that you will not stop until I say that I am satisfied, do I make myself clear?" Harshwhinny said. She hadn't broken eye contact. Buck wasn't sure that she'd blinked. 
"I'm clean, and I still haven't agreed to this. How do I know you aren't going to pull some bullshit?"
"I assure you that my checks are not in the habit of bouncing, but I could make a cash transfer to your bank account right now if that's what you'd prefer. I'd also like to film it, for my personal enjoyment."
"What?" Buck balked. He heard a sound like a tiny, uneven drumroll nearby.
"I know what you're thinking, Mr. Purple Prose, but I assure you, any released film of the two of us cavorting would be more incriminating on me than you. You've got nothing to lose and, well, you saw the number." Harshwhinny said. Her tone dipped into a low tone that Buck assumed was used for board room negotiations. It wasn't quite like Adagio's predatory presence; this was the glowering of a salesman at a fancy car dealership. 
"If you wanna film me, you're gonna double that number." Buck sneered. This seemed to catch Harshwhinny off guard, but then her shock unwound into a look of dull amusement.
"It appears the rumors were wrong about you, Mr. Purple Prose. Apparently, you're no ones' fool." Harshwhinny said. She placed the phone on the counter. "So, do we have a deal?" The number was enough to pay Buck's rent two times over, and that was before doubling. Buck pulled out a blank ticket and, after checking his phone two or three times to make sure the numbers were right, he wrote down some necessary information. Harshwhinny sent a quick message through an app, and Buck's phone jingled with a Sonic the Hedgehog ring sound.  
"My address is on the other side. You can come tonight, around 8:30."
"Tonight? Isn't that a bit hasty? Are you that excited, Mr. Prose?" 
"Don't flatter yourself, ma'am. I'm considering this another shift at work, and I'd rather get it done quickly."
"And professionally, I hope."
"Yes, I can offer professional quality." Buck sighed. Ms. Harshwhinny daintily raised her hand to about chest level.
"You may kiss it." 
"Excuse me?"
"I've already paid you. You may kiss it." Harshwhinny repeated, just a bit forcefully. Buck grimaced, took Harshwhinny's hand as if she were a visiting dignitary, and with the sort of reverence one would show to their favorite porn star, Buck planted a tender kiss between her knuckles. 
Buck heard Harshwhinny's breath catch, felt her fingers curl in around his own. Right. It was going to be one of these, then. Women in her age range tended to have very similar fantasies, he reasoned. He called it "evil stepmother syndrome". Buck bent his knees very slightly, let his shoulders slump, and tried to conjure a nearly innocent wideness in his eyes as he looked up at Ms. Harshwhinny. Her lip trembled briefly and curled up into the smallest of smiles. 
"Excellent, Mr. Purple Prose. I'll see you tonight." Harshwhinny snatched her hand away, and with a quick and measured spin, she strode out of the store, leaving Buck almost alone.
"Scoots, if you tell anyone I'm never going to game night with you again." Buck said. Scoots stumbled out of the kitchen like a baby deer, blush full on her face.
"Buck, what the heck?" 
"I mean it, Scoots. Not a damn word to anyone." 
"Buck...don't'cha think Ditzy won't like it if you do that?" 
"To be fuckin' frank, it's none of her business, or yours, Scoots."
"...what about Adagio?" Buck shut his eyes and tried once again not to overthink.  Here was a solution to at least one of his problems, delivered to his door and gift-wrapped, and all he had to do was swallow his pride for one night. There were always risks, but the cash was worth it. Come to think of it, Buck thought, this seemed to be about his worth. 
He was no good at keeping girls, but at the very least he could please them.
"What about her?" Buck said.




When Buck got home after work, a miracle happened. It seemed a miracle at first, anyway, There was a thump in the middle of his apartment that shifted the things on his desk. Buck had made the thump, as he'd managed to trip over his own damn feet while taking off his shoes again. He didn't land on his keys, which was a small mercy. Instead, he got an elbow down before his face could smack the floor. His left elbow. Buck didn't need to be told that landing on the elbow of an arm that had been fucking fractured in a fight with a tentacle monster was a bad thing in general, but what would have been helpful to know is why that arm didn't hurt much.
Buck touched in the space between his bicep and tricep. The sting was still there, just a little bit, but it was dull. He lifted his arm. It hurt, but far less. He undid his sling, let his arm drop. It only hurt a bit. 
Buck couldn't believe it, at first. Then he realized what was happening, and his pleasant surprise curdled into resignation. He couldn't lift much of anything without it hurting, but his arm was mostly healed, it seemed, and way ahead of schedule.
"Ain't a bettin' man...but I can guess." Maybe the magic in him had accelerated his healing or made the spell stronger, or something. This should've been exciting, but Buck knew the score; having magic in you just meant there'd be more magic bullshit ahead. That's how it was with the Rainbooms, and that's how it was gonna be with Buck, he just knew it. At least he'd be able to jerk off properly now. 
Buck laundered his bedspread at the coin-op downstairs, and he opened his window to air out the room and then broke out a few half-burnt scented candles from he couldn't remember how long ago. He applied moisturizer to his hands and made sure to exfoliate his face. He reapplied his deodorant and he even put on some lip balm for good measure. He managed to do all of this without looking in the mirror since he refused to meet his own eye.
A typical black tank top and his pyjama pants were more than enough, with some tight boxer briefs underneath in case Harshwhinny was the kind that liked to unwrap her gifts. He heard some muffled jazz coming from next door. Dinky would be asleep and Ditzy would be relaxing for the evening. Good. Just as he was thinking about how he'd trim his nose hairs without a mirror, he heard a curt and unfamiliar knock. 
"Good evening, Mr. Purple Prose."
"Miss." Buck said, stepping aside. Ms. Harshwhinny's scrutiny cut a sour look across Buck's living space. She didn't resist as Buck gently removed her jacket and placed it on the rack. She was wearing a white shirt and suspenders.
"I was expecting a hotel room, at least." 
"Times're tough." Buck said. He guided Harshwhinny to his bedroom door. 
"Didn't I pay you well enough?" She hadn't asked about the arm. That's weird, isn't it? Buck thought.
"You expect me to use the commission for set dressing?"
"I expect professionalism." 
"Professionals are frugal." Buck said. He pushed the door open. The bedroom was lit by a lavender-scented candle glow, a soothing lo-fi track filling the dim space. "But that doesn't mean they can't perform properly."
Harshwhinny wasted no time. She had a little tripod for her phone, which she carefully aligned on Buck's dresser to get a good shot of the bed. Buck sat, then patted the space next to him. His eyes stared straight ahead.
"Well?" Harshwhinny said, sitting on the slightly squeaky queen-sized mattress.
"Let's talk about what you want tonight to be. How d'ya want me to act?" 
"Ah. Well, I'd like your full service."
"You want to be here all night?"
"Hm. I've paid for more than all night, but I can't very well sleep over. You wouldn't let me, would you?" Harshwhinny said. Buck snorted. "Why don't you pamper me a bit then, Mr. Purple Prose? I'm a very busy woman, and I don't have many chances to simply unwind. After that, we can get to the business itself." 
"I can do that, but I meant are you looking for a character?"
"Well, how about the one you showed me at your work?"
"You want customer service?"
"Yes, And the twist you used at the end. Don't think I didn't notice."
"Okay. Young, pampering customer service that humors you and looks at you like an innocent pool boy. Am I gettin' that right?" 
"My. You have done this before, haven't you?" For just a moment, Harshwhinny's uppity drawl melted into a seductive purr. It gave Buck a bit of pause. It reminded him of Adagio. Worse, it reminded him of Her. 
"You paid for the best. Are you ready to start?" Buck sighed. 
"Certainly, Mr. Prose. Let's begin." Harshwhinny said it like she was the captain of a starship crew. Buck stifled a chuckle and then made an effort to empty his mind. Breathe. This is just a role, that you're building one piece at a time, he thought. Find what she wants, and give it to her.
"Okay." Buck got to his feet, turned, and looked over Harshwhinny, searching for something to compliment. He offered his hand. "Miss? Could you stand, for me? Let me help you out of those."

Harshwhinny blinked incredulously. Where had his accent gone? She placed her hand in his, and with a gentle tug, he brought her to her feet. Buck was slightly shorter than her. He reached up and straightened Harshwhinny's collar. 
"Hold still, please." His thick fingers brushed her neck as Purple Prose carefully undid the top button of her shirt. How long had it been since a young male had fussed over her like this? 
"It's not entirely necessary for you to undress me, Mr. Purple Prose." Harshwhinny said, giving zero resistance as his hands slid her sleeves off her shoulders. He was behind her now.
"Well, I'd like to. Arms up, please." Buck said, just behind her ear. Harshwhinny allowed him to shift her shirt off and watched him carefully fold it and place it on top of the dresser. "You have beautiful shoulders."
"Hm?"
"I mean it. You're in excellent shape for someone who works in an office." Buck said. His fingers traced along the apparent line between Harshwhinny's deltoid and bicep muscles. She was well-toned, and while Buck wasn't really looking, he noticed that her bra was one of the ones he tended to see on racks at Barnyard Bargains. 
"Naturally. A sound employee needs to have a sound mind and a sound body..." Harshwhinny trailed off a bit and Buck's hands slid up and down her stomach. 
"A sound body, huh?" Buck noticed zero blemishes on Ms. Harshwhinny's naked shoulders and caressed the tender curve of her stomach with the tips of his finger. He felt the slightest tremble. 
"I-Indeed." 
"You can relax, Miss. Trust me to take care of you." Buck slid his arms around her in a soothing embrace. 
"Apologies for the ugly beige bra, Mr. Purple Prose. It's just that--"
"It's just that women with your size have a hard time finding bras that are both sexy and practical?" Buck said. He kissed Harshwhinny's shoulder, sliding his hands to her back, trailing up.
"Yes. You'd be amazed the tax you can pay for having certain physical assets."  Harshwhinny said. Buck carefully undid the bra's band, one tiny hook at a time. He kissed gently at the nape of Harshwhinny's neck, earning another little hitch in her breath. "You are remarkably gentle, Mr. Prose."
"I can be. I think a woman like you should be treated gently."
"Excuse me?" Harshwhinny's tone sharpened.
"Just the lower back pain alone speaks for itself." Buck said. Harshwhinny's bra dropped to the floor. Buck's hands came around and cradled Harshwhinny's breasts. They felt heavy and a bit saggy. He gave them a tender squeeze and slid his fingers around until he found her nipples. With the slightest pinch, Harshwhinny went rigid and seemed to hold her breath. "I think that you have a beautiful body, Miss. I think it ought to be handled with care." 
"Mr. Purple Prose?" Harshwhinny said as Buck's hands groped and fondled her chest.
"Yes, Miss?" Buck said. 
"I would like to kiss you." Harshwhinny said. Her head turned and found Buck's lips ready to receive her. Buck gave her a nod. Even Harshwhinny's kisses were short and curt. Buck pulled her hips towards him, pressing his crotch against her, then his hands slid up and began to unbuckle her pants. Between Harswhinny's pecks, Buck unzipped her slacks. 
"Please let me know if I'm going too fast." Buck said softly. Harshwhinny kissed him and let it linger as his fingers trailed in her waistband. He planted trailing kisses down her back as he slid her pants down. He kissed softly against the slope of her ass, then rose to begin folding. Harshwhinny grabbed his wrist in a firm grip as he stepped away from her.
"Don't go. Just leave them on the floor." Harshwhinny ordered. Buck obeyed, then guided her to sit. He leaned forward and kissed her tenderly. Harshwhinny sighed and closed her eyes, then balked at Buck as he cut the kiss off, sliding down to knee height.
"Do these heels make your feet ache?" Buck said. He carefully unbuckled one, gingerly lifting the foot to slide it off, and then the sock. He kissed up along Harshwhinny's shin. 
"They sometimes do, but they also command a certain authority, so I am more than willing to bear with it." 
"That's very noble of you." Buck droned. He placed the pair of shoes away from the bed, and then kissed along Harshwhinny's other calf, up to her knee. His hand slid up behind the knee and heard Harshwhinny let out the slightest of squeaks. Buck smirked, then sat on the bed next to Harshwhinny. "Could you scoot back on the bed and lay down, for me?"
"What for?" 
"You said to help you unwind." 
"What exactly are you going to--!" Harshwhinny gasped and shrunk away. She laid back, stifling an involuntary giggle, then very nearly a moan. Buck had taken her foot and was gently massaging her inner sole. 
"Exactly what I said." The middle knuckle of his left hand pressed circles into Harshwhinny's foot while his right hand steadied her ankle. "Relax, Miss. Relax..." Harshwhinny sighed with relief and went slack.
"Now, tell me, what has you so stressed?" 





It was almost time. The preparations had taken what seemed like forever, but the time was finally coming to make her move! That is to say. Ditzy had been working all evening at it, but finally, it was coming together. Her living room was filled with the smell of rising dough and minty chocolate. She had heard Buck say once, maybe that he would die on the hill that mint and chocolate was a great flavor combination, even though Scootaloo said it made her gag. Now, all Ditzy had to do was wait for them to finish cooking and cooling, and she could go over and surprise Buck with a tasty treat! 
That had to raise his spirits at least a little bit, right? 
Ditzy turned up the tv. It was some spooky news report about strange happenings in town. Something to do with missing persons. Could have just been a hoax. Ditzy didn't like liars. 
"Honestly, first tentacle thingies and now this! Was Canterlot ever really normal?" Ditzy said. "Poor Buck, getting all tangled up."
Dinky was the heaviest sleeper in the world, so Ditzy could go next door and at least give Buck a muffin, even if he didn't want to talk. Ditzy thinly hoped he didn't want to talk. She was real scared that he would want to talk about Adagio, or about the kiss, and then she would get nervous and start rambling! 
Ditzy's needles stopped. This had started as a scarf for Scootaloo, but it was getting kind of out of control. 
"Come to think of it...is Buck home yet? He should be; I mean, what would he be out doing with a broken arm?"





"And that's why I keep a bottle of wine under my desk. Being a leader is extremely difficult, but managing an office is that on top of being a babysitter for grown adults." Harshwhinny sighed. She was now on her stomach, eyes closed as Buck dug his thumbs into the small of her back. 
"That sounds like a massive amount of pressure, Miss. I know how hard it can be to try and get people to do the right thing. It's like herding ladybugs." Buck said. Harshwhinny laughed in a way that suggested a row of periods instead of an exclamation point. It was rough and filled with a dry meanness. Then the chuckle broke into a groan as Buck rubbed her sore back muscles. 
"You have odd sense of humor, Miss. Deep breath..." Buck instructed. Harshwhinny's back rose as air filled her lungs, and she exhaled loudly as Buck pressed down with his palms. There was no crack. 
"When you've worked in my field; shepherding people toward a goal, for as long as I have, you learn to savor your petty little laughs when they arise. It's how you stay sane." Harshwhinny said. 
"Forgive me for sayin', but it sounds like you've been through a lot." Buck said. His hands slid up her back and pinched her trapezius. How long had it been since he'd treated Adagio this way? Don't think about her now. This is just a role.     	
"I suppose that's something we have in common, Mr. Purple Prose." Harshwhinny said. 
"Oof, you're extremely tense around the neck, Miss." 
"That's quite enough. Would you mind scratching my back?" Harshwhinny said. She shifted onto her side and curled into something of a fetal position. It was odd to see someone with such a commanding presence look so vulnerable. Buck laid beside her and dragged his nails up and down her back, especially focusing on where the band of her bra was.
"I'm sure your Adagio has told you plenty of stories about how I'm a ferocious monster in the office." Harshwhinny sulked. 
"No, she was more verbose about describing you. And by the way, she ain't 'My Adagio.'





Ditzy Doo gasped on the other side of the wall. Her thoughts were racing. 
"Buck is with a woman in his bedroom!" She whispered. "But it sounds like she asked him to...scratch her back? And they're sorta chatting?" Did Buck make a new friend? How were they so intimate already? Ditzy thought she really ought to stop listening and leave him alone, but she was feeling a familiar old worry, and she didn't want to think that Buck had already found another woman so quickly after...he said she's not 'his Adagio'.  
Scootaloo was telling the truth. 





"Is that so?"
"Yeah." Buck's persona slipped just a bit, and his accent poked out.
"I was under the impression that the two of you were very close. The word 'boyfriend' was used on the local news."
"We were." Buck said, souring.
"But that's no longer the case? I can only assume from her temperament that Adagio is at fault. Are you feeling quite alright?" Harshwhinny sounded like a patient math tutor as she tutted. Buck rankled at her condescending tone.
"I am, and that's all I'll say about it. Tonight is about you. Go on." Buck said. He scratched at her lower back and heard Harshwhinny hum with contentment. 
"I know my approach can be abrasive, but I only do what I do because..."
"Because it's what's best for the team."
"It's all that I know." Harshwhinny finished with a sigh. 
"We're...not always good at the things that we want to do, Miss. I understand. Is this good?" Buck said. He reached up and started scratching in Harshwhinny's scalp. He noticed the greys in between the blondes, then. 
"Sss...yes, that's good. It's lonely at the top, did you know?"
"Trust me, it can be just as lonely at the bottom."
"Well, at least I'm not lonely tonight. Mr. Prose?"
"Yes?" 
"For just a little bit, before we begin, would you mind holding me?"
"Holding you?" Buck said. He scooted up and laid himself in a big spoon position against Harshwhinny. His arm slid over her. "Like this?"
"That will do fine, Mr. Prose." He felt her hand grasp his gently. Her other hand petted and slid along his fingers. "It's odd. None of the rumors mentioned this side of you, Mr. Prose. I didn't expect you to make me feel so..."
"Comfortable?"
"Vulnerable." Harshwhinny spat.
"I guess they wouldn't."
"It makes sense. The creatures in this horrible city wouldn't know a quality individual if it bit them on the neck." Harshwhinny said. She'd paused briefly before she found 'city', like other words weren't quite pejorative enough. She must've grown up in the country, Buck thought.
"I was going to say my other talents must speak louder, but sure, go off."
"It's amazing how little things change when you change locations. People are small-minded no matter where you go. I shudder to think of all the years I've worked just to end up landing here by a quirk of fate. Disgusting." Harshwhinny said. She shook with rage and squeezed Buck's hand, almost painfully. He didn't say anything.
"Well? Are you not going to say anything, or did my grumbling strike you mute?" Harshwhinny huffed.
"That's where I know you from! You were at speed dating a while ago; same night I was there!" Buck said, springing up, excitedly. Harshwhinny squinted over her shoulder at him, wondering why her blanket was running away.
"You must be mistaken."
"No, you definitely asked if I was mute then, too. But I was just letting you talk, like now." Buck smiled.
"If you insist." Harshwhinny said. She nearly recoiled as Buck began to stroke her side.
"I know it must not mean much coming from me, Miss. But I'm sure there're plenty of folks out in the city that would love to get to know you. I've found that when everything goes wrong in my life, it's always my friends that help me pull through." 
"I don't need friends." Harshwhinny growled. Oops. Buck tried to course correct. He'd offended her.
"Of course not. But you do need intimacy, don't you? You seem pretty touch starved to me." Buck said. He slid back down and nuzzled his nose at the back of Harshwhinny's neck.
"I'm perfectly fine as I am."
"Sure.  But we all need a little love, now and again. I get it."
"Love. Hah! Love is fickle. Love can change. Love can be consumed and the leftovers of a heart spit out like seed."
"Yikes. Is that Lord Byron?"
"Whom?"
"Never mind." 





"What the heck is going on in there?" Ditzy said. Buck was having a pretty intimate conversation with someone that Ditzy hadn't heard before, but it seemed pretty platonic. Buck treated Scootaloo about the same way, Ditzy thought. As long as Buck was okay, that's what mattered in the end. Maybe his friend would like a muffin as well?  
The thought had just registered when Ditzy was jolted suddenly by the loud chime of the oven. She had to finish up those muffins, so she got up. She felt pretty guilty about spying again, but giving Buck those muffins would help a lot. She was sure of it.





"For your sanity. I'm just saying, Miss--"
"You've said enough, Mr. Prose. Let's move on to the main event." 
"Are you sure? We could keep on--"
"That wasn't a question." Harshwhinny said.
"...fine. Let's move to the edge of the bed, Miss." Buck gestured for Ms. Harshwhinny to lay back at the edge, but she instead rose and stood before him, crossing her arms. Buck noticed that everything on her but the sharp lines on her face had a bit of sag to it. She had round birthing hips, a mostly flat stomach, and toned thighs. She really was very beautiful, despite the sour look on her face. 
"Well? Kneel." Harshwhinny said, down her nose. Buck slid off the edge of the bed and down to his knees. He was on eye level with her perfectly trimmed mound of venus. Just below sat a slit so tight that Buck couldn't see her clitoris. 
"Like this?"
"Yes. Now, I take it you know what to do, Mr. Prose?" Harshwhinny said. She lifted her knee and rested it on the bed beside Buck's head. Her eyebrow raised, as did the corner of her lips.
Buck nodded, then licked his lips and dug in. 
Harshwhinny's stance was firm as Buck's tongue slid slowly up and down her labia. Buck lapped with patient slowness, licking softly until Harshwhinny grabbed his head and pressed insistently against him. This was the easiest part. He didn't have to talk; all he had to do was perform. She tasted sour and hot. He licked deeper with just a bit more speed, catching up to the lazy tempo of the chill beats floating through the room. 
"Yes...there you go, Mr. Prose. Ah, ah. Look at me." Harshwhinny said. She pulled at Buck's roots, and he fixed his eyes straight up at her in response. "There you are...do you like the way I taste?" Buck tried to lift his head out, but Harshwhinny pushed down with her hips. He was trapped. "No, you can tell me right where you are." 
"Mmm...mmm..." Buck stared up into Harshwhinny's icy blue eyes and he groaned against her walls, digging into her wet hole with his tongue. Harshwhinny's hips rolled into Buck's face with a sudden, jerking pace. She had Buck fast by the hair with one hand and was fondling one of her nipples with the other. A few low gasps came out of her lips as she stared down at him. 
Of course. Women like this were all about control, weren't they? Her sharp nails stung at his scalp.
"Just like that. Just like that..." Ms. Harshwhinny grunted. There was no rhythm to her movements, Harshwhinny thrust into Buck's face, occasionally pausing to groan and squeeze her thighs around him. 
It could be worse. At least you've got air. It could always be worse. 
Buck reached up and stroked the sides of Harshwhinny's smooth hips and let her lead. She only went harder and more frantic. Now she was biting at the tip of her nail, one eye open as she rubbed herself all over Buck's mouth. 
"Be...a good boy...and suck on it...!" Harshwhinny whined. She pulled back on Buck's hair, and the tilt of the head was enough for him to start suckling and lapping at Harshwhinny's clitoris.
Buck let his head go slack, and as he ate her out, he let his mind wander. Maybe he'd treat himself to sushi? Sushi always made him feel better. She didn't taste all that terrible. It was a tacky, semi-sour taste, with maybe the slight hint of a floral note. She'd washed before coming over. Buck thought maybe in another life he could have been a professional wine taster. He thought that stuff was a load of elitist horseshit, of course, but he'd like to get paid to convince rich people that their palettes were more advanced than the poors, but make up increasingly ludicrous reasons for it. Ah yes, if you swirl it next to your ear first, you can hear the flavor profile settling in. It's like pop rocks, do you hear it? Mm. Yes, yes, I think this has a flavor like the man who stomped these grapes has a cheating spouse. Can you taste his resignation? Yes, yes. Resignation. Buck was so tired of resignation. He wanted to resign right the fuck out of his current living situation. With his piss poor credit score, at best he could aspire to an only halfway shitty loft on the other side of town. When he was a kid, he'd always dreamed of a little observatory on a beach. Or maybe even a lighthouse. Going crazy in a lighthouse alone with maybe some watercolor paint and a typewriter sounded like the ideal retirement for him. And internet access, preferably. Might be kind of rad to stream it. 
"Am I boring you, Mr. Prose?" Harshwhinny's voice lanced straight through Buck's bleary-eyed daydream, bringing him back to the dissociative episode already in progress. Harshwhinny had asked a question. Buck tried to pull back and answer, but Harshwhinny held him firm, his lips mashed up against her drooling gash. 
"You're doing an excellent job down there, but I can see you drifting. Is this the professionalism that I paid for?" Harshwhinny hissed. She loosened her grip on Buck's hair, but certainly didn't let go. 
"No Miss. Sorry Miss. I have a lot on my mind." Buck said in a whining tone. Harshwhinny's eyebrow raised. 
"I don't care for your excuses. You aren't even hard. Am I truly that dreadful of a task?"
"No Miss. Not at all. I'm here for you, tonight. I'll do whatever you need me to." Buck said. He maintained eye contact and planted a few sweet, apologetic kisses on Harshwhinny's clitoris. The slightest of grins. 
"In that case, Mr. Prose. I'd like you to lay me properly." Harshwhinny said. She took her leg off the bed and stepped aside. Buck wiped his face on his arm, then sat up on the bed, patting the space next to him. Harshwhinny sat in the sternest manner possible. Buck screamed in his own head not to fuck this up.
"I apologize. I was focused on pleasuring you, when I should be savoring you. That's what you came for." Buck said. He reached over and squeezed Harshwhinny's thigh. 
"You're not as slow as you look, Mr. Prose." 
"And what's the matter with looking slowly?" Buck purred. He kissed her shoulder. His hand drifted up her thigh. "Some things are a feast for the eyes. You can't take a great work of art all at once, it's simply not done." His lips slid up to Harshwhinny's neck. Buck's hand trailed up her form, took her hand, and placed it at the back of his head. He nibbled up her trapezius slowly. Harshwhinny sighed as Buck touched his praise into her tender nerves. 
"...go on." Harshwhinny blushed, finally. Buck reached into his old mental thesaurus, the one that got him through many english exams, and fished out some five-dollar words.
"Every work of art has innumerable details, both intentional and not. To appreciate the piece, you have to train your eye to notice these details. The swishing brush work of an impressionist piece, or the wandering plucks of a slow jazz guitar number..." Buck said. His feather-light fingertips brushed Harshwhinny's nipple then wandered down her stomach.
"An adorable mole placed right against the navel. The tender slope of shapely hips." Buck's fingers strolled along the outer edge of Harshwhinny's thigh. His other hand took her cheek as his sight met with hers. "A pair of gorgeously sharp and intimidating eyes, placed in a face of classical beauty." Buck said, against her lips. Harshwhinny's hand slid down and found something else to touch. Her fingers were as smooth as silk as they toyed with his half-hard shaft. It began to twitch. Focus now, Buck. Don't wander. 
"Are you calling me a work of art, Mr. Prose?" Harshwhinny whispered. Buck kissed her just barely in the space of a second. 
"Yes. You are a piece of architecture." Buck's fingers slid down toward her inner thigh.  
"What?" Harshwhinny hissed. She pinched at Buck's tip in an almost painful way.
"You've been built up, shaped by your own hands and perfected over years. You are sturdy and resplendent and eternal. A masterpiece." Buck said. He stroked at Harshwhinny's cheek. At the same time, he stroked at her labia with even more tenderness. "Let me appreciate you, Miss."
"So you are a professional after all~" Harshwhinny smiled as Buck kissed her. He tried to push it into the salacious but chaste sort of thing you saw in old movies. Like the woman wasn't super into it, but the man was, and he was pushing his luck. From the other side, Buck guessed. Harshwhinny's palm slid all over Buck's cock head, while his fingers found their target. Harshwhinny gasped against Buck's lips as he rubbed sweet, squeezing circles around her clit. 
Harshwhinny's rigid poise began to melt away as Buck pushed her down with his insistent kisses. She squeezed at his length, and in answer, he slid his fingers inside her. Harshwhinny's head hit the bed. She gasped as Buck pressed in, and reluctantly let out a breathy moan as he thrust upward with his fingers. There was a series of wet, rapid shlicking noises.
For a few moments, Harshwhinny was nothing but squeezing thighs and low groans, groping at Buck's cock as his quick fingers worked her. Buck kept up a speedy pace, playfully nipping at her lips. Her moans thinned out into high, chest heaving gasps until she desperately snatched at Buck's wrist and pushed him away. A few strands of hair were in her flushed face. She looked almost angry.
"Enough teasing! I told you to lay me properly." Harshwhinny said. It seemed hard to maintain 'professional composure' through gritted teeth and shallow breaths. Buck got up and opened his drawer, pulling out a colorful bit of wrapper.
"What is that?" Harshwhinny snapped.
"A condom, Miss?"
"Birth control?"
"Yes, Miss."
"Throw it away."
"Miss?"
"You heard me. You will give me exactly what I want, until I'm satisfied. That's what I paid for." Harshwhinny said, the flicker of a smirk crossing her face. Buck ran the numbers in his head. Menopause? Definitely. STDs? Unlikely. He tossed the condom over his shoulder. His tank top followed it, then his pyjama pants. Harshwhinny joylessly looked over his body.
"Yes, Miss. Lay back. Relax..." Buck said. He lubricated his now hard cock with the fingers that had been inside of his client. He lined himself up. 
"Stay close to me. I want to look in your eyes as you feel me, Mr. Prose..." Harshwhinny said. Her hand was back on Buck's neck, but firmly around the front. Her knees opened to let him in. She was smiling again. 
"Yes Miss. Just hold on..." Buck's cock slid against her wet lips. He took care to line up properly, never letting his eyes wander away from hers. She sneered and winced as he slid into her. It was a fight to fit. 
"You're incredibly tight, Miss...you're squeezing me!" Buck had definitely read somewhere that older women experienced shrinking down there if they didn't use the muscles regularly, but apparently if--he caught his rambling thoughts before they could wander off. He made of show of moaning softly as he made it halfway in. 
"Come on then...give me the rest of it, boy." Harshwhinny hissed. Buck grunted and slammed the rest of his length into her. She dug her nails into his back and licked her lips. "Theeeere you are, Mr. Prose..." She growled. 
Buck immediately started thrusting. It was a sensual grinding at first, but then there was a spark of pain across Buck's face. Harshwhinny had slapped him. 
"Don't hold back on me, Mr. Prose. I paid for the best. You will give me your best. Deeper. Harder!" Harshwhinny groaned in a low, demanding tone. Buck grimaced and adjusted himself a bit. He wiggled his cock inside her for a moment, then drove it home as he took a scissoring position against Harshwhinny. With one leg between her thighs and the other over her hip, Buck started hammering into the older woman. Now he knew what she wanted. She wanted a young man to go crazy for her. Harshwhinny's demands fell apart, replaced by the sort of throaty grunt that only older women make during sex. 
"Shh! I have neighbors, Miss." Buck insisted, and instantly Harshwhinny was biting her knuckles while Buck's hips slapped wetly into hers. He watched with no small amount of satisfaction as Harshwhinny grabbed at the bedsheets with her other hand, her stern expression barely staying afloat while Buck rocked her body. She was surprisingly easy. She was getting close. Buck winced as he kept up the frantic pace. He'd have to pull out soonish, but he thought he could get her over first. His left arm ached. It felt like this was taking forever, but it was just one night. Buck could handle one night.
"Ooh..! Mm..Haah! Oh!" Harshwhinny grunted like every hard, heavy thrust was a surprise. Buck groaned and huffed in Harshwhinny's ear. Stroke her pride a little.
"Miss...you feel amazing!" Buck said. Harshwhinny's words were unintelligible. Every time she started to speak, Buck drove his cock in hard and pressed in as deep as he could. 
"Nononodon't slow down! Don't slow down, Mr. Prose...!" Harshwhinny gasped. Buck picked up the pace, and now he could feel her legs shaking. She was so damn wet, he was sure he'd have to launder his sheets again right after this. Maybe in the morning.
*SLAP*
Harshwhinny's cold side eye caught Buck once more. She'd slapped him in the exact same spot as before. Harshwhinny grabbed his shoulder for support and stared at him coldly while he plowed her. She ground her teeth together and shut her eyes as Buck worked her until she found those barking grunts again. She was sort of cute, in a way, Buck decided. He also decided that he didn't want to fucking do this again. Harshwhinny's grunts became light and airy and close together. She was right on the edge now, Buck could feel it in her trembling squeezes. Her hips were bucking up into his desperately. He needed to push just a little bit more...
"Is that good, Miss? Is this what you wanted? To be ravaged by someone who can appreciate a real work of art like you? So close, Miss! I'm so close!" Buck groaned. Harshwhinny was writhing and shaking underneath him, she was so close, and he was so close to being done, but suddenly, her eye shot open again.
"Stop." She snarled. Buck obeyed, breathing heavily. 
"Miss?"
"Do you think I can't tell when someone is faking it for my sake?"
"Miss, I didn't--" And suddenly she rose with surprising strength. Suddenly Buck was beneath her. She pinned his left wrist to the bed. It hurt.
"That's enough talk out of you, Mr. Prose. I'm the one who does the ravaging from here on..." Harshwhinny hissed. Buck placed a placating hand on her hip, but she snatched it and pinned it up with his left. Somehow, he was still inside of her. Her hand was large enough to cover half his face, and she leaned her weight onto that hand, her palm flat against Buck's mouth. All Buck could do was breathe heavily and hope she would be done soon. 
"I don't care how long it takes. You are going to put out this fire in me, Mr. Prose!" Harshwhinny brought her hips crashing forward, and with little in the way of grace she pumped her hips frantically. She was so damn tight it almost hurt. The bed squeaked as Harshwhinny laid into him, a vicious smile splitting her face. Now her moans were girlish and high. Her icy eyes gleamed. Buck shut his own, but then he felt trails of sharp pain as Harshwhinny raked her nails across his chest. 
"Look at me!" Harshwhinny demanded. She slapped him across the face and grinned. Buck nodded quickly and stared back up. Her pussy was strangling his cock. Buck tried to grunt encouragement, but it was a little more of a wheeze. Harshwhinny's thumb was on his neck. She was licking her lips. It was coming. Buck couldn't help it. He tried to lose himself in her eyes, but something was wrong in them. He closed his fists and silently thrust up against Harshwhinny. She moaned in triumph. 
Harshwhinny fell against him, sliding her hands under his back and immediately digging her nails in hard. She put all of her effort into bouncing her hips. "Good boy...! Good boy...!" She hissed against his ear.
Buck's mind twisted away from the scene. It's just one night. Just keep it together. Be a man. It could be worse. It's just a role. It's not you, it's just a role. It's just a role. It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay. Ditzy please, tell me it's going to be okay!





Ditzy took a tiny morsel of the cooled cupcake and giggled with excitement. They were perfect! She'd sprinkled some crushed oreo on top for just a bit of crunch. Combined with the creamy chocolate and the cool mint, she knew that Buck would love it. She wrapped one in a bit of plastic and left it on the bed stand next to Dinky.
"A nice little surprise for later..." Ditzy said, kissing her sleeping daughter's forehead. 
Now, what to wear? It was late already; close to 9:30, but then Buck was a night owl, anyway. Ditzy decided to wear some pyjamas.
"It would be weird to show up in a dress, wouldn't it?" She giggled to herself. Her pyjamas were a sleeveless dark blue thingy with sheep sleeping on crescent moons as a pattern, with matching shorts. Ditzy straightened her hair out in the mirror, just to be sure.
"Don't be silly! Buck doesn't care about how your hair looks, he uhhh...he likes your shampoo? It's fine. You're fine! Buck needs you, so, just march right over there, and give him the muffins! Oh...that sounds dirty..." Ditzy said to her reflection. She shook the cobwebs out of her head, did a little fist pump in the mirror, and then, with a little plate of fresh, delicious muffins in hand, she stepped out into the hallway.





"You've performed adequately, Mr. Prose. Money well spent, in other words. I'd like to thank you for your time and patience." Was that meant to be a compliment? Buck couldn't be sure. He stood in his threshold, dressed only in his reclaimed pyjama bottoms. His hair was a mess, his chest and back stung, and he had settled into a depressingly familiar dirty feeling that at least distracted him from the other failures in his life. Harshwhinny seemed to be waiting for a rebuttal that didn't come. Buck simply stared at her, exhausted.
"Yes, well, that being said. Can I expect further cooperation in the future? I'd be more than willing to pay the same rate." Harshwhinny said.
"Don't hold your breath, lady."
"Was I really so awful?" Harshwhinny huffed.
"Are we done here?" 
"I suppose we are. Good night, Mr. Prose." Harswhinny gave Buck the tiniest nod, looked left, smirked for just a moment, then turned right and strode to the stairs. Buck watched her go, to make sure that she actually left, and once he heard the half-click half-slam of the door downstairs, he finally let himself breathe.
"Buck?" Buck wished he could turn into a statue for just a moment. He looked slowly over in the way he always saw victims in horror movies look. His dread turned into silent terror as he saw Ditzy Doo standing in the hall just outside her door. She had a little plate of treats, a set of extremely cute pyjamas, and a deeply confused expression. Buck thought to scramble behind his door and slam it shut, but he couldn't seem to move.
"...hey Ditzy. I didn't know you were still up."
"Buck, who was that woman?"
"No one! No one, just an acquaintance o'mine that needed a lil' help, that's all." When did you start lying to her? 
"Are you alright?" Ditzy said. She stepped forward, and every molecule in Buck's body caused him to step back.
"That's alright, Ditzy. It's late. Did'ja bring me muffins? That's real sweet!" Buck panicked. He shrunk slowly back into his threshold, hand pulling the creaking door closed. 
"Buck, let me in." Ditzy's eye roamed Buck's face, then trailed down. She gasped. "Buck, you're bleeding! What did she do to you?"
"I'm fine, Ditzy, I'm fine! It's okay, we can have the muffins later. I'm really tired, so I think I'm gonna go to bed." Buck's protests trailed off as Ditzy's fingers touched the side of his head. He thought for certain that she would yank at his hair as Harshwhinny had, but instead, she stroked gently like she was soothing a puppy.
"Buck, it's okay. You're okay. I'm here..." Ditzy said. Her forehead touched Buck's, and it was all he could do to not crumble into dust right on the spot. Buck let out the breath he'd been holding. "I'm helping. Please, let me in." Ditzy soothed. Buck nodded. 

The music was off, now. The candles snuffed. Buck sat despondently on his living room couch, hating everything about himself as Ditzy applied bandages. The uneasy silence finally broke with Ditzy's concern.
"She scratched you up...what happened, Buck? Who was she?" 
"I don't really know." Buck droned.
"You don't know? Why was she here, Buck?" The rubbing alcohol stung in Buck's new cuts. It wasn't punishment enough. 
"You know why, Ditzy. I know you hear what people say about me."
"No, I don't, Buck. I learned a long time ago not to listen to rumors about you. I was at CHS too, remember?" Ditzy giggled, and her warmth splashed across Buck's cheeks. The memory wasn't pleasant, but it was far away from here.
"Ditzy. Money's hard. Everything costs an arm and a leg, and sometimes Sugar Cube Corner isn't enough. Sometimes throwin' articles around isn't enough either." Buck started. He wasn't sure how he'd get through this. Ditzy was sitting behind him, rubbing his back in little circles. She was listening. 
"This last while has been real rough on me." 
"It sure has, Buck."
"You have to understand, Ditzy, I didn't want to do it. It's been a long time; I've been good! But I needed the money."
"Buck...what happened?" She wasn't getting it. Buck shook and fought his tears back as he turned to her.
"Ditzy, I'm a prostitute! Not the fancy escort kind, neither. I'm just...a cheap fuck. That's why girls talk about me in town! It's because they know I'm a whore!" Buck's tone went high and cracked and desperate. 

Ditzy's head was spinning on a carousel. She tried to put the pieces together. It made sense, didn't it? Buck was scarred. He had a hang-up about being used. He kept in shape and did a lot of self-grooming. His emotional distance. His exhaustion. All the girls he took to his room. 
Those weren't dates. They were paying him! 
Ditzy felt like she was sitting in the eye of a hurricane, and every ounce of her wanted to scream for help, but then she stopped and thought. Buck had been sitting in this storm the whole time. She tried to be as careful as possible.
"How many times have you had to do this?" It was the kind of whisper you gave to a child that had an accident in second grade.
"I don't like to count that stuff..." Buck said. "A lot. Too many. Not for a while though, Ditzy, not for a while, I promise. I'm sorry!" 
"Berry Punch?"
"Not the first time. I thought there was really something there." Buck said.
"The other time?"
"She paid me." Buck sighed. 
"But why, Buck? You can do lots of stuff! Why...why this?" Ditzy said. Buck gritted his teeth.
"Because I'm not good at anything else, Ditzy!"
"What? You fix stuff for me all the time, and, and you're creative!" 
"You can't get paid to just 'be creative', Ditzy! And you have to go through a whole expensive program to be a handyman."
"Well, well, you're uh, getting pretty good at making those tarts! And you can sing! And don't you draw sometimes, too? You've got so many ideas, you're smarter than you think!"
"No, I'm not. A smart man wouldn't have to do this shit to get by. I'm okay at a bunch of stuff, Ditzy. But I'm not fuckin' good at anything. I'm not charming enough to be an influencer. I'm not good at numbers, so most office jobs are a no go, and I'm a college dropout. Nobody fucking wants me, not even at entry level. Only reason I got the gig at Sugar cube Corner is 'cause Pinkie vouched for me. I got nothin'." 
"Buck, don't talk like that! You've got plenty going for you! All you have to do is try, and, and get out there, and someone'll see! All it takes is for the right person to see you, and like you, and it'll all work out!" 
"I don't even like me, Ditzy."
Silence, after that, and for a good while. Buck spied Ditzy's face from the corner of his eye. She looked genuinely offended. 
"I'm sorry you had to see this. I understand if you don't want to talk about last week. I wouldn't want anything to do with me, either." Great, Buck, just great, get all maudlin on her, that'll help!
"I think you should have a muffin, Buck." Ditzy said, finally. 
"I don't think a muffin's gonna help, Ditzy."
"Pssh. Muffins always help! Come on. Say 'ah'." Ditzy said. The absolute seriousness on her face as she held a muffin up to Buck's mouth made him crack into a chuckle. Ditzy smiled and pushed it to his lips, and he took a nibble. He blinked and took a fat bite off the top. 
"...good god damn, Ditzy. That's an amazing muffin!" Buck said. It was fresh and warm and tasted like a dream. "How'd you even do this? How'd you know I like mint chocolate?" 
"Maybe I know you better than you think, Buck!" Ditzy smiled triumphantly.
"You want some?" Buck said between bites. Ditzy blushed as he offered a morsel, then she frowned nervously. She touched her lips.
"Are um...do you...you know?"
"What?"
"You don't...have anything, right?"
"I'm clean, Ditzy." Buck deadpanned.
"You're not on drugs, right?" 
"Besides caffeine?" Buck said. Right. He'd almost forgotten the conversation they were having. 
"Buck, you really shouldn't drink so much coffee, I know you don't like it when I nag you about it..."
"Okay, Mom!" Buck huffed. For another moment, things were normal, but then Buck started to sink again.
"Don't tell Mrs. Cake about this, Ditzy. I'm beggin' you." 
"Of course not!"
"And don't tell Dinky. I don't think I could take it if she started treatin' me different." 
"Whaddya mean, different?"
"Like how you're lookin' at me right now." Buck said. Ditzy seemed to startle at that. She must not have noticed the way she was staring. Like Buck was a ragged coyote that had wandered onto her patio.
"Buck..."
"I get it, okay? I've heard it all. I'm used goods. I'm too easy. I'm a fuckin' tramp in the literal sense."
"Buck, stop. I can't stand it when you say things like that!" Ditzy's hands were warm and soft on Buck's cheeks. She made him face her. At that moment, he thought that her hands could hold up the whole world. 
"You're not gonna see me the same way after tonight." Buck said. His eyes drifted away. He felt Ditzy's thumb rub the remaining lipstick off his lip. 
"All I see is a guy who's out here doin' his best." Ditzy said.
"That's the thing, Ditzy. My best ain't ever been good enough." Then he felt her lips again. It wasn't the urgent message from last week. Buck felt his living room become an elementary school playground as she kissed him. It was tender and simple and wandering. It was perfect. It was everything he needed. She held him there in that warm and wonderful place, and he felt sad when her lips pulled away. Buck would have done anything to stay within that moment forever.
"It's good enough for me, Buck." Ditzy took Buck's hands, playing with his fingers. Her eyelids fluttered like a shy schoolgirl. Buck couldn't believe how hard it was not to cry in front of her. She made him feel so precious and seen. He didn't deserve this. 
"Ditzy...can I, uh..." Buck looked away, suddenly feeling extremely shy.
"Mm?"
"Can I kiss you a little bit more, Ditzy?" Buck choked out.
"Why're you so nervous all of a sudden? It's just me." Ditzy said. She kissed Buck's cheek, and his heart skipped a beat. 
"Sorry."
"Buck, it's okay. Come here...close...close your eyes, Buck..." Ditzy's words drifted into a sigh as Buck kissed her back. Ditzy boldly slid her arms around his neck and pulled him slowly down with her. There was no tongue in her kiss; it was sensual, and deeply loving. Buck wondered if she practiced this. His lips tingled. He couldn't touch her now and ruin the moment. Don't grope. Just enjoy this.
Ditzy came up for air for a moment, then decided she wasn't finished. She giggled and pecked playfully at Buck's lips. Her hand wandered down to touch his arm. Buck cringed as Ditzy squeezed his bicep. 
"Oh! Your arm! I'm sorry, Buck!" Ditzy said, sitting up. She let go of Buck, then, looking panicked.
"Naw, it's okay, Ditzy. It don't hurt that bad anymore." Buck said. He went in to kiss her again, but Ditzy looked at his arm with a quizzical expression.
"How? I thought it was broken?"
"Glimglam put a healing spell on it, but it's healing a lot faster than expected."
"What? Who? How?"
"It's...Ditzy, I need to tell you something." A man is honest. Get it out of the way. It was nice while it lasted, wasn't it?
"What is it, Buck?"
"Promise you won't freak out." 
"Buck, it's me." Ditzy said. Her smile was naive. Buck took a deep breath.
"Ditzy, I'm magic. I got more magic in me than any one of the Rainbooms. It just sorta bubbles up out of me. That's why Adagio wanted me. She needs to absorb magic to survive. That's what the fight was about, and that's why that thing attacked us. It was my fault."
"What?" Ditzy looked at Buck like he just announced the presence of a tumor in his head. 
"Glimglam thinks it comes from emotional contact. I'm dangerous, Ditzy, and I'm... I'm scared that I'm putting you in danger just by being here."
"What're you talking about?"
"I don't know what to do!" Buck reached for Ditzy's hand, but she scrambled away. The look in her eyes was like staring down a tidal wave. Ditzy was shaking, and as Buck rose, she backpedaled clumsily to the wall, almost tripping over Buck's footrest.
"Ditzy, please don't leave." Buck said.
"I don't...I don't know!" Ditzy's head spun with panic. Had Buck been magic this whole time? Is that why he was unlucky? What were his powers? What would he do if Ditzy made him mad? What would he do to her if she stayed?  Ditzy couldn't know. Her breathing quickened as Buck stepped toward her, arms outstretched.
"Ditzy, please! You said you wouldn't look at me any differently!"
"That was different! How could you be...why...did you use magic on me to make me like you!?"
"What? No! How could you say that!?" 
"I need to go. I need to think this through!" Ditzy murmured, more to herself than to Buck. Buck reached out for her, but Ditzy shrieked and slammed the door in his face.
And now, Buck was alone again. He kicked his footrest over and slumped limply down onto the couch. 
He thought he'd run out of tears to cry. He was wrong, of course.





Harshwhinny strode along the lowest rooftops of Canterlot as if it were the most natural thing in the world. A yawn broke through the haze of noise coming from the streets below. With a casual skip, she flitted to another roof and stretched her arms. She was far from satisfied.
A short hop. A drop. A slide down a fire escape ladder. Her heels clacked along the pavement again. It was good to stretch her legs, at least. Lounging around never suited her well. She couldn't work well inside of a box. She needed to move to think clearly. A shudder. The spring night was surprisingly cold.
Her keys jingled in the lock on the numbered door. She'd made it back to the dorm. Another yawn shook her as she entered the darkened room. She rubbed her stiff neck. Holding this posture all day was exhausting. The clock ticked. The jacket came off first. Just ahead of it on the floor fell the shirt. The pants. The underwear. She stepped out of her shoes. 
She stood before the mirror. She coughed. Perhaps it wasn't the posture. She twisted her neck until she felt a satisfying pop. By then, it had gone a full 180 degrees. Perhaps it was the form itself. 
"This sagging, uppity body just doesn't suit me." The impostor said. Harshwhinny's voice had gotten lost somewhere.
"Maybe that's why it didn't work...no, it's not just that." Another miscalculation. Another tiny failure.
"He isn't the base whore I thought he was. He should have fallen in love, but he turned the tables...at first." A smirk. Harshwhinny's face smiled uncomfortably wide, to the point where the mouth began to look out of place beneath her permanently irate glare. The impostor touched just below Harshwhinny's navel. Its body was cold, but down there, it was warm. It was still full. 
"I didn't get exactly what I wanted...but I learned. The boy isn't so easy after all...but he can be made to heel. All it takes is a bit of fear." Harshwhinny's face disappeared in a flash of green light, replaced with the one in the photos ringing the mirror.
"Isn't that right, Adagio Dazzle?"
> ((Explicit)) Chapter 19 - Lay Your Hands Off My Man (Via Con Dios)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The desecrated husk of Buck was later found behind the counter at Sugar Cube Corner. To be fair, that was a pretty typical Sunday. Sundays were always top-heavy on customers, and now that it was close to 5 pm, things had slowed to a comfortable crawl. This was just as well because Buck didn't really have the energy to fake enthusiasm today.
Ditzy Doo wasn't in, so Mr. Cake was filling in for deliveries. Buck hadn't seen much of the man this month, mostly because he was more on the financial side of the business than the counter. 
It was a gloomy day, one where the clouds did nothing but make the glare worse, and Buck had done his best for the random customers during the morning bit, then gradually slid into the mind frame of a dog that was getting pet too hard. He was frustrated at the attention and about ready to bite at any moment.
Scoots had been just about as fed up as Buck. They hadn't really talked about it, but Buck assumed the attention she was getting for the news story was a lot more obnoxious and potentially dangerous. He was glad she carried a pocket knife.
Buck had to make his face up a little bit to cover the shine on his nose and the streaks on his cheeks. He'd been crying too much to ever really get rid of the redness in his eyes. That was alright, he supposed. People would probably just think he was high. That was better than the real reason. 
It was only a role. That's all. It was just a job, and you don't have to do it again. You got the money. You're fine. 
Buck did everything he could to keep those thoughts out, which meant trying to hyper-focus on minuscule busy work so he could at least save his self-loathing for when he got home. No need to bother Scoots about this.  
At the moment, he was alone, detailing the counter after the trickle of customers through the shift had dried up. It had been the usual cavalcade of instagram dickheads taking pictures, office workers whose sanity was hanging on the same thread as Buck's, and the occasional girl who pretended that she didn't recognize him.  
"Are you the guy from the video? With the axe and the tentacles?" Said a high, sorta vaguely northern accent from under a pair of blue horn-rimmed glasses. 
"We literally went to the same high school, Silver Spoon. Why you actin' like you don't know me? It's Buck."
"Doesn't ring a bell."
"I helped you get through the Great Gatsby, for your English Class. Sweetie Belle asked me to. Remember?"
"...no, I don't think so."
"I was workin' Sweet Apple Acres when you guys did that stuff for the zap apple jam? Friend of the apple family? Friend of Scoots, and Sweetie Bell, sorta?"
"Uh...no, I don't recall."
"...I cleaned your pool for like a month. Yellow trunks. Remember that thing with Spoiled Rich?" Buck sighed.
"Oh, hey Buck!" 
"God damn it." Buck mumbled. "Can I get you anything?"
"Oh, um, a little bottle of apple juice, I guess. I didn't actually come here to see you." Silver Spoon said. Buck could not help but notice that she had grown into a radiant woman since he'd last seen her. Her hair was in a pair of twin braids, and she had settled gracefully into the sort of chubbiness that often comes with post-grad studies, a reasonable diet, and little in the way of exercise. This was a sharp contrast to the stringy little satellite that he remembered hovering around Diamond Tiara back in the day.
"You don't say." Buck said. Silver Spoon swiped a platinum-colored card.
"I wanted to ask Scootaloo if she's alright. She's been looking pretty upset lately."
"Really?"
"Yes. I was going to offer her a free consultation."
"'Scuse me?" 
"Buck, I'm working toward my masters in psychology. I'm a practicing therapist." Buck might have thrown his head back and laughed about five years ago. Today, he registered surprise from wherever his consciousness was floating; somewhere in low orbit, he figured.
"No kiddin'? Congrats for that. And, uh, good luck, I guess. I know anthropology can be a hell climb in school; my Mom used to talk about it." Buck yawned, taking a little business card that Silver Spoon had passed to him.
"...Have you been getting sleep?"
"...no."
"Well, you should try it some time." 
"Uh-huh. Scoots is in the restroom right now, but it's fine if you hang around and wait for her." Buck said.
"No, seriously, you look like you're falling apart. If it's not too rude, can I ask what's the matter? Was it the tentacles?" Buck looked around, then listened around. Mr. and Mrs. Cake were having an urgent conversation in the kitchen. He winced as he heard his name whispered. 
"My whole life has been turned upside down. If I'm bein' honest, I'm being held together with coffee and anxiety and I don't see that changin' anytime soon. As a bonus, I've also got girl trouble." Buck deadpanned. He wondered if Silver Spoon could see the bags under his eyes deepening. 
"Oh, well if it's a relationship problem, you should talk to my sister." Silver Spoon said, with a thin smile. Buck flipped the card and was hit with a frantic shock as the implication settled in.
"...Sugarcoat is a couple's counselor? That sounds hilarious, for a few different reasons." He chuckled, bitterly. Buck was very certain that Sugarcoat hated him for something he didn't remember doing. This was a shame because he actually liked her quite a bit when he was in high school. 
"She's really, very good at it, actually." Silver Spoon said, without a hint of irony. Must've run in the family. 
"I'm just going to assume that you guys are too expensive for my tax bracket."
"Buck, you're a friend of Scootaloo, and Sugarcoat knows you. We can figure something out." Silver Spoon said, a softness sliding into her voice. 
"You mean that?"
"I remember you smiling more. I bet you that with the right tools and directions, you can start smiling again." Silver Spoon said. There was a dryness to it that Buck deeply appreciated.
"Thank you, Silver Spoon."
"Don't mention it." She checked her phone. "I have to go, but tell Scootaloo to call me." Silver Spoon said.
"Did you give her that twenty bucks?" Silver Spoon's blushing face scuttled away. The door dinged. 

A few minutes later, Scootaloo emerged from the back. By then the conversation in the kitchen had ended.
"What're they sayin' about me, Scoots?" Buck whispered.
"It's not good." Scoots said. "Mrs. Cake is convinced that you drove Ditzy away. She wants to fire you."
"Right, I've been on thin ice, but they don't have nobody to replace me, so I'm probably fine."
"They said the name Norman."
"No way." Buck said. Scoots nodded gravely. It would be just his luck to lose his job right after shattering his self-esteem for a tidy profit. He could coast on it for a little while at least. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be jobless, this time. He could pull on some old contacts and look around for some other gig. It would be like a little vacation, except at the end of it, he would get evicted.
"Buck, this is bad. What did you say to Ditzy?"
"I told her the truth, Scoots, what do you think!?" He was whisper yelling now. 
"What are you gonna do, Buck!?"
"I dunno, I dunno!"
"Buck? Could I see you in my office?" It was the comforting, nasally voice of the man of the house. The gloom from outside dropped into Buck's stomach. 
"Time to walk to the gallows, I guess." Buck murmured. He put a hand on Scoots' shoulder. He would apologize to her later. She took his hand for just a second and gave him her best approximation of a smile. He noticed then that Scoots looked pretty damn exhausted too. We all are, he thought. We all are.





"Buck, do you know why I called you in here?" Why do bosses always say that before they give bad news, Buck thought. This speech usually came after dropping an order or taking too long in the bathroom or failing to degrade yourself in front of an especially entitled customer. It was either an honest mistake or something that was inflicted on you, the employee, because no one who ever did anything really serious and also intentional would stick around to get sacked. They'd just leave.
"Buck? Did you hear me?"
"No, I don't actually know what I'm doing here." The truest words Buck had spoken all week.
The office was the Cake's cozy little living room. It was a space that Buck was comfortably familiar with, a nostalgic one. 
"Well, Buck, Ditzy Doo has called out sick today. When asked why, she cited stress. In her call, she said that she needed to stay away from, well, You. She said you didn't do anything, but she can't be around you. Cup Cake is...she's worried you might have done something to her." Blind fury made Buck jerk into an upright posture. His heart hurt. He took a moment.
After looking around the floor in his mind, he found his Mother's wisdom. No man has ever looked good by responding to allegations with anger.
"No, I didn't do anything to Ditzy Doo. There was some bad news, that's all."
"I see. I'm sorry to hear that. Was it bad news for her?" 
In all the time that Buck had been around Mr. Cake, he'd barely known the man. That is to say, he kind of treated Mr. Cake like he was Pinkie's protective father. A gently patriarchal presence that seemed to prioritize staying out of the way. He didn't owe the man anything, and Mr. Cake hadn't made it seem like it when he hired Buck. He had never nagged at him or lectured him like Mrs. Cake. He'd always treated Buck like a member of the team. Buck had a feeling that Mr. Cake was in his corner against Mrs. Cake, but something had shifted. Buck had done something that really threw off the team. And it would be better to replace himself than Ditzy Doo. All of that intention seemed to sit in the empty space after Mr. Cake's words. 
"Mostly for me. But really, for both of us."
"Uh-huh. Okay."
"Are you about to fire me?" Buck just got on with it. He was sick of suspense.
"Well. Let's...uh, let's go over what happened."
"Alright. Ditzy Doo came over, and I had to tell her something that's really put a strain on our relationship. She had a freak out, which was fair." Buck said. He wanted so badly to just lay down and have a bit of sleep. Just curl up right here on the couch.
"You didn't touch her, and you didn't yell?"
"No sir." Mr. Cake gave a big sigh. 
"Okay. Buck, listen to me. I believe you, but we need to hear from Ditzy. Cuppy is talking to her on the phone right now."
"...Did you guys call the cops on me?"
"No, Buck. We just wanted to hear what happened from both sides. You're shaking. Are you alright, son?"
"No, Mr. Cake. I'm exhausted."
"Is it about what happened on the news? The octopus thing and that Adagio Dazzle? Is that why you're all, uh, despondent?"
"Oh, right, everybody knows about that." 
Despondency was like a busted-up cabin in a winter wood. That is to say, you could sit in despondency, but you could see that the floor was dirty and the chimney was broken and the chill would very probably kill you, but it was comforting in its own way, and at least while you were sitting, your feet weren't as sore. Despondency was a sort of comfort, in other words, but the problem was that Buck was not sitting in that cabin. He was still wandering through the woods between the cabin and the car crash. 
"Man, my feet hurt." Buck mumbled.
"Well, heck, Buck! Pinkie used to go on magical adventures all the time! We don't think any different of you because of that!" Buck saw the sure smile on Mr. Cake's face and felt himself on the verge of tears. 
"Mr. Cake, what are you supposed to do when you get the worst news in the world? News that you know is going to taint everything and screw so hard with your life that nothing will ever be like it was before? And you've been wronged, and the person you're supposed to go to for comfort is gone and you're just..."
"Buckling under the weight?"
"Yeah, actually." 
"Buck, I've been where you are." Mr. Cake said.
"How? How could you possibly?"
"Do you honestly think I never noticed that my kids look nothing like me?" A tea kettle boiled. Mr. Cake got up, then came back with a porcelain teapot and some mugs. Two steaming mugs now sat before the two men, with a sugar bowl between them. Mr. Cake dropped a few cubes into his.
"Sir, I never meant to remind you of that." Buck flinched as Mr. Cake patted him firmly on the shoulder.
"Buck, it's alright. I guess I'm uh...uniquely qualified for this talk. Look, I was wronged, too.  By the woman I love the most in the world. I received some bad news and suddenly, everything fell apart, and I was the one that had to pick up the pieces. You feel wronged and you feel abandoned, and it hurts, but she is terrified that your whole relationship is over. That's her whole happiness, gone because she made a mistake. She is terrified that she can't face you. She needs you, and you need her, trust me, I know, but nothing can change until you decide what you're willing to do and what you're willing to take for the sake of your love. It won't be easy. For me, all I had to do was forgive my wife for a night of fun that went too far. Your situation is, uh, complicated." Mr. Cake said. There was a jingle like an ice cream truck. He looked at his phone and nodded. 
"Boy is it." Buck said. He sweetened his tea and took a sip. It was a fruity, herbal sorta thing. The way he liked it.
"But I know the kind of man you are. I've watched you grow, just like I did with Pinkie. You're not mad because you were wronged."
"I'm mad because I want her back, anyway." Mr. Cake patted Buck's shoulder. Buck missed his father. "What should I do?"
"Oh, just wait. She'll come to you. She knows you're worth it."
"...okay. Which...uh...which one are we talking about?" Buck said. Mr. Cake held a smile that Buck hadn't ever seen on him before. 
"Go home. You need to rest, son."
"What about Ditzy?"
"Cuppy just got off the phone. You're off the hook, Buck." Buck felt relief lighten his step for a moment. Then he remembered that he was going home, to be alone. 
"Thank you, sir. I promise I'll be rested when I come back."





Adagio had finally found Home, again. The pressing coldness filled her with a solitary glee. There was no heat to stir the waters, there was only the drifting song of solitude. Adagio had missed the feeling of peace. She felt the resistance against her fins. She tried to hum a sweet and lonesome tune, but it died in her throat. 
Her eyes shot open. Something was tugging on her tail fin. She knew the little fry, with the pearly skin and the purple fins. It was Novo; finally come to visit after so long. Her eyes were wide. She was saying something, but Adagio couldn't hear.
Below them, something shined so brightly that Adagio could barely stand it. Who would bring light to this dark and peaceful realm? 
The lights swirled and shifted and sang. It was Adagio's own voice. Novo's lips were moving frantically. Tears bubbled from the corners of her eyes and floated away into nothingness. Adagio took the young fry in her arms to offer her comfort, but Novo's little fins batted at her chest in panic. Then they melted and bled into hooves. Novo's mouth dropped open in a silent scream. The song called far below. Shapes swam in the abyss. Novo shudderd with seizure. Her eyes began to glow red. 
It was then that Adagio began to weep. Her hooves--her hands pushed Novo away. Beyond them, the young fry twisted into a disaster. It was lost somewhere in the profane spectrum between horse and fish. Adagio screamed.
Far below, the abyss chittered and laughed.
"Please...I'm sorry!" Adagio's voice came from everywhere and nowhere, and deep within the deafening song that was glowing below. They were coming. Novo tore and bled and dissolved into the nothing of Home. As her blinking eyes and gnashing fangs disappeared, her silence shattered into a shrill screech of agony before cutting off abruptly.
Adagio was surrounded. They were everywhere, like tiny mirrors, or raindrops, or piranhas. It was her, and it wasn't.
Adagio's own young face was all around, on tiny little, beautiful, clever yellow fry bodies.
Beyond Adagio's curly orange hair, she saw her own red eyes in a swarm.
Below her shapely hips, her rows of dagger teeth. 
Everywhere around her was hunger and thirst. 
"No, please, I can't do this!"
She swam up, but her frail human legs were no match for her swift fins. She looked behind. The cherubs were mashing together, biting and twisting until they formed a replica of her true forms' toothy maw. The jaws opened, above and below her.
"WHO DO YOU THINK KILLED YOUR MOTHER!?" Sang Home. 
The jaws closed.





The world was about to fall apart. The dorm was filled with the sounds of fingers hammering across a keyboard. 
In a way, Sunburst was used to this. He'd been friends with Buck for who the hell knew how long at this point, and whenever Buck got really burnt, he would retreat to his room and stew in it for a while. Buck had to turn things over in his head several times; that's just the way he processed things, and he would eventually need someone to be a sounding board when he was ready to articulate his feelings. As long as Buck was alone, no one else was in danger. Sunburst would be there when the time came.
This was different. Starlight was different, and Sunburst knew it. Whereas Buck would always eventually want to talk things through, when Starlight couldn't solve a problem right away, she would just move on to the next one and pretend that nothing was wrong. 
Starlight had messed things up this time, but there was more to it. Starlight and Sunburst were a team, and so when one failed, the other did as well. 
Boy, had they failed on Saturday. 
Their mission was the same as always; contain any aberrations and minimize casualties. It was usually a simple, slow job; like being a mall security guard. A lot of false flags with some rare bits of action in between.
Since the Rainbooms weren't in town anymore, magical weirdness was at an all-time low. 
That was, until just recently.
Now they were facing something wholly unpredictable, something that needed to be handled with care and delicacy, and Starlight had lost both of those virtues for just long enough to mess it up.
The coffee machine in the kitchen bubbled quietly, sitting at the ready.
"It was exciting at first. What the hell happened to us?" Sunburst muttered.
Sunbursts' tapping at the keys crawled to a dead halt. His mouse clicked twice. The document closed. It was a file titled 'Unified Magical Geometry Draft 4'. It was to be his thesis. Sunburst was sure that it would change the world. And naturally, he couldn't focus on it.
Sunburst slumped in his chair. 
Compared to the one in Buck's apartment, the arrangement of items on Sunbursts' desk looked like it belonged on a magazine for office supplies, or maybe a museum brochure. The desk itself was a finely grained, well-carved bit of oak that he and Buck had hauled into Tenpony Towers' elevator after a fun day of antiquing. It had a drawer with a lock on it.
On it was his far too expensive dual monitor setup, and beneath was a lazy juggernaut of a computer tower that was largely host to several solid-state drives' worth in historical documents, esoteric textbooks, and a frankly embarrassing amount of .MOV files that Buck had 'acquired' for him on request. There was a mug that said 'Dungeon Dad' on it; Sunbursts' absolute favorite, which had come courtesy of Scoots, and below it a variety of charts and graphs that he had labored on previously, which were now protecting the desks' surface from coffee stains. There was a shelf built into the desk, filled with books on statistics and world mythology and cryptids and history and thermodynamics. He kept the essentials right where he needed them. 
There was a large glass canister filled with water atop the bookshelf. A profane tentacle floated in there; mostly motionless. 
Everything was in its place, and for once, this didn't comfort Sunburst at all. 
The clock ticked heavily and morosely up on the wall. It was also an old wooden thing that Sunburst had found thrifting, but it had been his mother that bought it. He hated the damn thing, but it reminded him of a valuable lesson. 
"A gift well meant is better than a shiny, thoughtless bauble." He recited. Sunburst hadn't spent much time with his father after the divorce, but this was a mantra that his mother had apparently taken from the old man to wield in his absence. Every time Sunburst was given something he didn't necessarily want, his mother would wave that platitude in his face to get him to shut up.
She had said that when she'd given him any number of annotated lists which she swore were essential to his success, and she'd said it when she gave him his first car at 17 before he could even drive and she'd said it when she gave him his first piece of rental property to manage. 
Sunburst believed that even if the gift was wrong if someone meant well, it was the core of the action that really mattered. 
Unfortunately, he couldn't figure out why the love of his life had broken her own rules on Saturday. Was it an unwanted gift to Buck? Or maybe a cathartic present to herself? Adagio's scowl was barely restrained, as was the near smile on Starlight's face once she finished her tirade.
A familiar groan slipped under the door of the study room.
Sunburst scratched his head perhaps a little too long. His forehead touched the surface of the desk before he rose out of his shrimp pose. He limply pushed aside the rolling chalkboard he had set up in front of the windows and peeled the curtain back. There was a potted philodendron on the windowsil. The sky was dark and cloudy. A thin layer of misting spray fell over Canterlot.  
The calendar said it was Sunday.
It had been an entire week, and she hadn't said a word to him.
Sunburst heard the wincing slap of a book roughly shut. Feet dragging along the carpet, then a quiet thump.
Floor time, then. It was floor time for Starlight. Sunburst stepped away.
By now it only took Sunburst a few seconds to fill a mug that he had painted with clouds and box kites back in third grade. It was Starlight's favorite. A splash of cream. A marshmallow floating in it.  
Sunburst placed it wordlessly on the coffee table next to where the love of his life was face down, spread eagle on the floor. He felt his mother's specter looming behind his back. 
Finally decided to come out of your cave?
"Any progress on the mothman case?" Sunburst said. It was a fair attempt at jocular normalcy. Starlight said nothing. She rolled over, limply grabbed the steaming mug and took a few dainty sips, then returned to her face-down position on the floor. 
Are you done giving me the silent treatment, Sunbursts' mother said. 
"Okay." Sunburst said instead. 
It had never been this bad before. Starlight was usually stressed, and sometimes, when things got just a bit too difficult, she'd go non-verbal and just put her nose to the grindstone. It made it very difficult for Sunburst to be half of their partnership. 
"It's almost 10:30. You missed your nap. Do you want me to get you anything? I could play some music?" Sunburst said. His mother's specter squinted. Stop wasting time and just talk to me! You aren't in trouble! Why are you shuddering?
"I was going to do mushroom risotto for dinner tonight. Is that okay with you?" Sunburst said. 
Are you being quiet because you're mad? Or did you just run out of excuses? Said the harsh, matronly voice in his head. Starlight didn't seem to have an answer. A shrill buzz blared from around a corner. 
If you're going to be so immature about it, there's no need to talk, then. Said his mother. 
Sunburst shook his head and walked around Starlight. When he returned, she had curled up into a fetal position, laying on her side. This was an old staple of his that he saved for emergencies. He had quietly placed a weighted blanket in the dryer, and now that it was warm and toasty, he gingerly placed it over Starlight. She let out a sound sort of like a sigh and sort of like a murmur and held the blanket around her shoulders. She was still staring off into whatever mysteries lay hiding in the opposite wall. 
Sunbursts' mother crossed her arms as Sunburst sat on the floor beside his girlfriend. 
I can see that you're down, but I'm not going to crawl into the pit with you. I will help you climb out, but I will not sit with you in your misery. 
"Hey, did you remember to water Phyllis today?" Sunburst said. The indistinct shape beneath the heated blanket shuffled in a way that Sunburst thought was an affirmative.
You're already grown up. Get off the floor and do something, Sunbursts' mother whispered.
"Starlight? Are you in any mood to be touched?"
The blanketed blob nodded. Sunburst laid down and wrapped an arm around her. Starlight Glimmer shook beneath the warmth of the blanket and the comfort of Sunbursts' arms, and then a hollow sob limped through the silence of the suite. The distant scorn of Sunbursts' mother evaporated. 
"I messed up, didn't I?" Came the quavering voice.
"Yes." Said Sunburst.
"You're mad at me, aren't you?"
"Yes." Sunburst rubbed Starlight's back through the blanket. 
"I've ruined everything." Starlight wept. 
"No, Starlight, you didn't. You didn't listen to Buck, and you didn't listen to me and you didn't even listen to your own advice. You lost your temper, and you've made a mess, but it's okay because we're going to clean it up together. 
"I'm sorry!" Starlight said, desperately.
"I know you are. We don't have to fix it right now. There's more pressing matters, aren't there?"
"I don't know what to do first! They're going to call us and ask why I messed things up! I haven't caught the thing that's out there snatching people up and I made things worse with Adagio and Buck won't talk to anyone! How am I still the worst at this stuff!? I can't do it alone! When am I going to learn, Sunburst!?"
"You're not alone." Sunburst said. He tugged gently at the blanket, and when she lowered it, he nuzzled his forehead into the back of her head. "Buck is hurt, but he also isn't going anywhere. You said you haven't seen any activity near Adagio's suite; she's probably sulking right now. That means the most pressing thing..." Sunburst offered.
"Is covering our asses. I need to go and deal with whatever has been kidnapping people from downtown, before we get told that someone else has been sent to handle it." Starlight sniffled.
"Weren't we supposed to hear from someone about a little backup?"
"More like they wanted to check in on us in person. They don't trust us. There hasn't been a call, or anything, so I guess that was just an empty threat."
"They're worried that we're in bigger danger than ever. In a way, they're right." Sunburst said. Starlight sat up, back against the couch. Sunburst followed, never letting her get out of his arms.
"Because of me." Starlight sobbed. 
"Why did you do it, Starlight? Why did you tell Buck so soon? I know you weren't trying to hurt him." 
"Did you see the way she looked at me?"
"What do you mean?"
"Adagio gets off on winning. You can see it every time she and Buck talk, because she's always pushing on him. She's grooming him; we know that, but I just...she was going to take him home and he would have filled her up with energy without even thinking about it. She had him around her little finger and I could not STAND the smile on her face as she yanked on his leash. You know why I did it, Sunburst." 
"So you lost your temper."
"I was tired of letting her get away with it!  I can't stand sitting around doing nothing while your friend is getting pulled into a nightmare scenario!"
"Oh, so you care about him a little."
"He's just a guy, Sunburst! He never wanted to be a part of all of this, and now his whole life is all fucked up! He's being...she's manipulating him into loving her, doing whatever she says. You know I can't just let that happen! Not after everything I've been through." Starlight said, into her knees. 
"The leg?"
"YOU KNOW IT'S NOT THE DAMNED LEG, SUNBURST!" Starlight shrieked. She started to push him away, then instead wept into his shoulder. He hadn't flinched. 
"We don't have to talk about Fillydelphia until you're ready." Sunburst said, stroking Starlight's back. That city was an old, covered wound, waiting and festering in the dark of Starlight's mind.
The clock ticked. Sunburst rubbed Starlight's shoulder until her breathing eventually evened out. 
"I need to go make that risotto."
"I'd rather have shrimp over it than mushrooms."
"I can grab some shrimp down at the docks tomorrow, or maybe the corner store has some frozen in bags." Sunburst said. Starlight held on tight, anchoring him to the spot. 
"Mushroom is okay. I was just saying for later on." Starlight said, nervously. 
"Okay. Here's my first plan for the night; I'll cook the food, we eat, then we go out on the trail. We're going to figure this out, Starlight. It's what we do best. The question is how, is all."
"You're still mad at me."
"Yes. Can I get under there, Starlight?" Sunburst said. He tried to keep an even tone. It was cold in the suite, and so the toasty pocket dimension under the blanket with Starlight was perfect. Starlight slid an arm around Sunbursts' shoulders and laid her head against his. Sunburst pulled the blanket shut around them. 
"I think you were right. I do think we need to teach him magic, but he isn't going to trust you, Starlight."
"What do you mean?"
"Buck has...problems with authority, and you've done a lot of talking down to him. Why would he want to listen to you?"
"Because he wants to live." Starlight seethed.
"Can you try being nice to my best friend?"
"He's naive."
"No, he's not. He's been kicked around more than either of us." Sunburst said. Starlight took a sharp breath, then. Sunbursts stroked her leg. 
"I don't believe that."
"Maybe the two of you should compare scars, some time. Then you can find out. The point is, he tried really hard to open up for Adagio. It wasn't like him at all. He's been hurt too much. But he did anyway, because he felt so strongly. He's been terrified this whole time;' he told me as much when we were grocery shopping. Now, what do you call it when someone does something even though they're afraid to?"
"In this case? Stupidity. Don't talk down to me, Sunburst." 
"I think it's bravery."
"You're wrong."
"Well, I think you're wrong." Sunburst said. The two smiled at each other. Something in the air settled. Suddenly, as they looked into each other's eyes, the room grew cozied and comfortable. 
The kiss was slow and firm. Starlight's face turned red. Her hand awkwardly hovered until Sunburst cupped it in his. Starlight pulled away. Finally, she was smiling, but there was mostly concern in her eyes. 
"I need your help with the Mothman case."
"Oh? Do tell." Sunburst said. 
"I hate it when you get sarcastic."
"Is that so?" Sunburst dared to kiss her cheek. His smile grew a bit goofier. Now she wouldn't look at him because she knew that she would laugh. 
"Following the trail has been really hard, and I'm running out of sensing talismans. The aura is scattering and full of holes. It splinters and criss-crosses all over downtown."
"Backtracking?"
"I think so. This thing is smart; it's going in circles and zig zags, making it extremely hard to follow. I can't get a bead on it."
"You said it's downtown, mostly?"
"That's where most of the lines cross. It's on to us, Sunburst. It's trying to not get caught, so it can't be just a normal magical animal."
"What makes you say that?"
"Its most recent trail was on the Boardwalk." Starlight said. Sunburst stiffened.
"Has it come here?"
"No." 
"I swear, that sickly aura sounds familiar. What did it ping as on the talisman? What color?"
"...green." Starlight admitted.
"Green? Well, why didn't you say so? There's only a few things that can be, right?" Sunburst said, suddenly standing. Starlight held his wrist.
"I already know what it is, Sunburst. That's why this is so hard. How are we supposed to track a changeling? Do you know anything about them?" 
"Let's look at the book. Come on." Sunburst said. He pulled Starlight to her feet. His other hand held a key, and as that key slid into the locked drawer at the bottom of Sunbursts' desk, the world started to finally slide back into place.
There was the slightest creak as the weighty tome sat. It was bound in soft, unidentifiable wood, and carved in a looping font were the words; "The Unabridged Guide to Magical Creatures." Two designs were carved beneath the words. A trio of butterflies and a jagged star. A guide written with kindness and magic.
Sunburst's finger sped through the table of contents and having found its mark, Sunburst flipped and searched with the speed of a diving falcon until his finger landed on the page and passage he needed.
"It says that tracking changelings is impossible." Starlight grumbled. "The first thing that they're taught is how to evade capture in a million ways."
"However, catching them is not. It is recommended that you procure a tasty treat to offer, as they tend to have a strong taste for sweets, much like ponies." Sunburst narrated.
"Well, that tells us exactly nothing helpful." 
"It goes on to say 'for ages, the theft of love energy was central to changeling culture, and some may find that old habits die hard, even generations down the line. This does not mean that one should assume that a changeling that follows them is up to no good. They have a bit of a predator instinct that will compel them to pursue things that even slightly catch their interest with great fervor.'" 
"Oh, that sounds familiar." Starlight said. Sunburst had sat, and now Starlight was behind him, the blanket around them both, her arms draped around his shoulders. 
"However, befriending a changeling is remarkably simple. The primary love language of their culture is gift giving, and so all one need do is leave something they would like just sitting around. The changeling will come, and then you can introduce yourself.'" 
"Bait?"
"The best way to track a beast is to know where it's going. Didn't you say that to me?"
"That was different. That was a swarm of parasprites, that time."
"Yes. And we managed to catch them before they could cause much damage because you figured out they would target a food source first. The farm, remember?" 
"That was a mess."
"Well, I mean, the farm was fine. We were the mess." Sunburst laughed. Starlight gave a shy chuckle.
"So we need to figure out what it wants."
"And we're sure that the changeling is what's kidnapping people?" 
"Pretty sure. It's not Adagio that's doing it."
"You checked?" 
"Twice."  
"Of course. Well, let's put ourselves in its shoes. I'm a changeling that came through a rift from equestria. I'm kind of like a locust, but for emotions. A bit like Adagio, but probably smaller, weaker, and I can hide in plain sight."
"Adagio is more like a mosquito. Or a lamprey." Starlight snarked.
"Don't be mean. If I'm a changeling, I'm going to need somewhere to hide out and a food source."
"This world is alien and lacking in magic. I need multiple food sources, because pickings are slim." Starlight droned. She closed her eyes and concentrated.
"Hence kidnapping several people. Changelings like to snare their prey like a spider and save them for later. If it's crisscrossing downtown, its nest is probably hidden in there somewhere."
"That could be anywhere."
"They like places that are dark and isolated." 
"You don't want to go to dark and isolated places in this city."
"We do if we want to catch our changeling. So it's storing people and nesting downtown, and it's been following us."
"It's probably starving. Not much magic around."
"Probably doing a bit better than Adagio. Stronger. Physically, anyway. But changelings don't do much magic, right?"
"Right. They've got one really good trick, and it's natural for them. Efficient."
"But definitely hungry." Sunburst trailed off. Starlight stood up straight, a haunted look in her eyes.
"Oh no...It's not following us, Sunburst." Starlight went still. Her voice dropped.
"Adagio works downtown."
"So does Buck. Adagio isn't with him, so she's going to be weak..."
"And Buck is alone!"
"We have to go." There was a quick patter of feet around the suite, followed by the sound of trinkets shuffled into a purse and pockets. The door slammed, and the defenders of Canterlot got to work before it was too late.





This was not the first time Adagio had awoken from a nightmare. She understood that they came from intangible stressors on one's mind and that only by finding a sense of comfort in the waking world could one banish them. The morning after a nightmare is a space of deep satisfaction. Adagio would awaken in her bed, and within the space of blinks, the terror faded away into yawns and stretches.
It was due to this that she was left speechless by the horror that was waiting just past the nightmare. 
Everything was green. She was restrained by some waxy fluid that had pasted her hands to her sides. Her shoulders ached, and so did her wrists. She could only move her head around to regard the pulpy mess that closed her in. The horrid stench that she had experienced dripping from the ceiling of the office restroom now surrounded her, making her gag. She could breathe. She was meant to be alive. Don't panic. Breathe. 
There was sheer darkness beyond her vaguely transparent coffin. She could hear the sounds of water rushing loudly through pipes. There were muffled moans. Not the sort one makes when they're having fun. Someone screamed for help beneath a mouthful of something. Several someones. Adagio tried to steady her breathing. 
"I see our guest of honor is finally awake." The darkness spoke. Its voice was the buzzing of dragonfly wings. It hummed in Adagio's ear canal like a trapped mosquito. "Let's play a little game. You ask, and I'll answer."
"Let me go!"
"That's not a question. Here, let me give you an example. You were turning in your sleep. Tell me, were you dreaming of him?" 
"You have an odd sense of humor, Miss." It was Buck.
"Buck! Buck!? Are you out there!? Talk to me, Buck!" Adagio shrieked. Her voice bounced around in the cramped space and didn't seem to go anywhere else.
"Oh, calm down, Miss Adagio Dazzle." Said the darkness. "I've barely laid a finger on you." 
"I think a woman like you should be treated gently." Said Buck. There was a brief click. 
"What is this!? Where is Buck!? You will let me out of this thing right now, or I will lose all sense of mercy when I smear you across the streets of this city!" Adagio shouted.
"Ooohhh, dear. Do you think you're in any position to make demands?" The darkness said.
"I ain't cheap, lady. 'specially not for you." Mocked Buck. Another click, which sounded extremely familiar.
"Where am I!?" Adagio shrieked. She tried to rip herself free, but she was so weak. So thirsty. She could see her hair as it framed her face. it was like yellow, crinkled paper streamers.
"Is that really what you want to know? Frankly, you are nowhere that any of the fools in this wretched dung heap of a city will find you. You are alone, Adagio Dazzle. As always." The darkness chuckled darkly. There were a few quieter clicks.
"It's lonely at the top, did you know?" Said a voice that Adagio couldn't mistake anywhere. It was her manager.
"Trust me, it can be just as lonely at the bottom." Responded Buck. Was this magic? An elaborate illusion? 
"...why have you brought me here?" Adagio said. The darkness giggled.
"Why? Oh, a number of reasons. You're in this location to keep you out of my way. You're in that cocoon so that you won't move, and you are in my clutches because you're weak. The short of it is that I'm keeping you here while I finish my work." The darkness said.
"Holding you? Like this?" Buck's voice was imploring, but even. Businesslike. Adagio tried desperately to stay focused, but she was weak. Her throat felt raw, and while her voice was still coming out mostly intact, it wouldn't last long.
"What do you want from me?" Adagio said. The darkness laughed. 
"What do I want? Isn't that a complicated question? I wanted for a fresh start. I was given one. Now, I simply want what it is that you have, Adagio Dazzle." A pair of sickly green eyes with sharp, slitted pupils glared from the shadows. 
"Please let me know if I'm going too fast." Buck said, low and sweet and careful. Where was he? 
"What do you want with Buck!?" Adagio shrieked. She coughed painfully. 
"You don't know!? Really now, Miss Adagio Dazzle. Have you forgotten why you entered this race in the first place?"
"A sound body, huh?" Said Buck's voice. 
"However you're doing that, stop it this instant!" Adagio said. Was it a demand or a plea?
"Doesn't he have the most darling voice?" Giggled the darkness. There was a click, then the familiar sound of Buck whining and groaning softly, buried beneath the slap of hips coming together. A small part of Adagio broke.
"Buck! You can't have him! What have you done to him!?" Adagio said. 
"I've already  had him. I'm not impressed. For all your affection, he was nothing but a simple little whore. You should have seen his face when I offered to pay."
"Let me appreciate you, Miss." Buck agreed.
"No." Adagio muttered.
"How he marveled over my form. How he lavished me with affection..." The darkness moaned.
"An adorable mole placed right against the navel. The tender slope of shapely hips. A pair of gorgeously sharp and intimidating eyes, placed in a face of classical beauty." Buck growled.
"Oh, Adagio. Why do you insist on grooming and prodding and carrying on for ages when you can simply take what you want?"
"But we all need a little love, now and again. I get it." Buck argued.
"That's a good point, isn't it, Mr. Purple Prose? Perhaps she was just desperate for attention! Perhaps the nasty old siren just needed to cling to a big strong man because she was lonely! One of the most powerful creatures in Equestria, reduced to a purring kitten in the lap of a pathetic, infantile little speck of a human!" The darkness laughed. The green eyes flashed and bounced with mirth.
"He's mine." Adagio croaked. The laughter cut off. The eyes came closer, into the murky green glow of the pod. It was a familiar face.
"Harshwhinny! You disgusting old vulture!" Adagio cursed. Ms. Harshwhinny smiled wide. Shaking her head.
"You wish."  Harshwhinny's voice was the same as ever; dignified, snotty, obnoxious.
"Help me! Let me out! Please!" Came the same voice, now far less dignified. A cocoon across the room illuminated, showing Adagio's boss trussed up just as she was. She looked emaciated and half dead. The green ichor crawled like a slime mold, suffocating the woman's desperate pleas before the room went dark again.
"What are you doing with him!? He's mine!"
"I'll do whatever you need me to." Answered Buck. 
"Oh, nothing. At the moment. It's what I'm going to do. I'm going to take the man that even a snotty primadonna like you calls "impossible to hate." The very end of the phrase shifted into a flawless imitation of Adagio's voice. "And I'm going to use him better than you ever could." The darkness laughed. A pulsing green light spread around the room. Adagio's mind slowed. She took in as much as she could.
"Let me appreciate you." Buck sighed. 
Cocoons hung from a cage of crisscrossing girders just above. Simpering human shapes were trapped inside.
Countless smaller cocoons, pulsing with light, showing fetal forms with twitching wings. Pasted to a patchy floor with wires running through it.
Twitching, gibbering things scattering away from the light. 
A slender silhouette striding with a dark poise around the room.  A smartphone cupped in its claw.
The green light guttered out. The smartphone's blue light clicked off.
"I will make this city the seat of my power. I will conquer this land, and create a new, brighter world for my children!" said the darkness. "And I'll have Buck's magic to thank for it."
"A masterpiece." Buck purred, echoing in the ensuing silence.
Adagio said nothing. There was nothing to say. She had lost.
"Say it again."
"HE'S MINE!" Adagio shrieked.
"He was." The darkness said, in a tone that was like the screams of an army of cicadas. 
Adagio was nearly blinded by a sudden bright light. She squinted through the pain and saw the smartphone, dangling a bit loosely by a length of the same green slime that held her in place. On it, she saw Buck, facing away as he sat on the edge of his bed. Next to Ms. Harshwhinny. 
A pair of appendages that were less like hands and more like the gnarled limbs of an ancient, blackened tree slid around the phone. The nails were long and sharp, the joints were multitudinous, the black skin shined like a beetle's back. Little orifices, like the holes in a piece of swiss, were pockmarked randomly across the hands. As the voice of the darkness spoke, the holes constricted and puckered in an unsettling blink. 
"And now, he's mine. Just like that. Look at how easy it is to get his guard down. How could you beam at him so when he's such a simple, idiotic thing? How could you let him go when he is so easy to ensnare? Did you think you were the only creature in this world with a bit of ambition?" The talon dragged across the surface of the phone with delicate slowness. The video flickered, and now Buck was laying behind Harshwhinny, running his nails up and down her back.
"I'm sure your Adagio has told you plenty of stories about how I'm a ferocious monster in the office." Harshwhinny sulked.
"No, she was more verbose about describing you. And by the way, she ain't 'My Adagio.' Buck snapped. There was no screaming left in Adagio, now. All she could do was sob.
"Now, let me ask you a question. Do you know what this is?" The darkness said. Pinched between the horrid claws was a small phial, stoppered by a cork. It didn't have any distinguishing marks. Adagio looked away.
"Oh, I suppose not. Here. Have a little sniff." The cork popped off. Adagio's senses were filled with red hot passion and deep shame. A bit of drool escaped the corner of her mouth. She gasped and tried to inhale the very taste of it, her tongue flicking in her open mouth. It tasted purely of Buck.
"It's his very essence, Miss Adagio Dazzle. It's half of what I need, as a matter of fact. For the rest, I'll need his magic." The darkness said, corking the phial back up.
"No!"
"Ooooh yes. The essence was very easy to get, as you can see." A fingernail tapped the screen once, twice, and then the thumb mashed it until it played. The horrible darkness and the smell and the shame dropped away. There was nothing but Buck, the man who wanted to love Adagio Dazzle, being ridden by a woman who looked old enough to be his mother. He wasn't moaning. He was whimpering. He looked terrified and depressed and broken. Adagio had seen that face before. When he was a pony. 
Adagio's heart shattered like crystal glass under an operatic shriek.
"But the magic is another story. I wasn't able to drain him properly. I need strong emotions to drink from, and sadly, Mr. Purple Prose dissociated from that scene until he was empty of anything besides angst and self-loathing. Pathetic creature." The darkness spoke over the sounds of the bed squeaking and Harshwhinny moaning and whispering in Buck's ear as she wrung him out. Adagio had a front-row seat to the sight of her slamming her hips down on Buck's thrusting cock. Buck moaned in a trembling voice, and the worst thing was, Adagio couldn't tell if he was faking it. 
"No, Buck....no no no..." Adagio said. She had thought she'd washed all her tears away, but here they were again.
"No, It seems that there is only one way to tap this vile creature for his magic. I need to appeal to his emotion. I need his love." There was a flash of light. Adagio saw herself in her prime, standing sublime and bare before her. Her own slender yellow finger trailed along the face of the smartphone, sliding the clip to an earlier point. She tapped a little button.
"Don't hold back on me, Mr. Prose. I paid for the best. You will give me your best. Deeper. Harder!" Moaned Harshwhinny, to the sound of hips slamming into hips. Buck moaned and held her leg as he pounded her pussy. Harshwhinny looked directly at the camera and smiled with a green flash in her eye. 
"And failing that, his fear." The other Adagio flashed the smile of an angler fish. Red eyes. Gills. In her hand, the groaning, heaving assault on Buck grew louder and more desperate. 
"No! Leave him alone!" Adagio.
"Poor Adagio Dazzle. All your prestige, all your glamour, wiped away in a stamp of the hooves." The other Adagio said. She tapped the phone. The video stopped. "In a way, I can relate. In fact, I'm feeling rather merciful."
"What?"	
"If you behave, I'd be more than happy to give you what's left of him when I'm done." It grinned. The pale yellow skin began to darken to grey.
"Who are you!? WHO ARE YOU!?" Adagio wailed. Her lungs gave it their best go. Her voice wavered and cracked. 
"Who am I?" The other Adagio spoke. Her red eyes shifted to that sickly green, with slitted pupils. Adagio saw her hand lightly stroke at the transparent wall of her pod, then an inky darkness extended from the palm. The gnarled, perforated talons returned. The face came closer, grinning with fangs that Adagio had never worn.
"I am a Queen! This land will soon be under my rule, because I will succeed where you failed, Adagio Dazzle. I won't need to hide in any shadows, nor shall I ever be trapped in obscurity again! I will rule over a glorious new empire unlike any this world has seen before!" The monster squealed. 
Adagio felt a tiny part of her snap. She didn't care what happened to her, now. All she wanted was to get out of here, go to Buck right now and protect him! Her exhausted limbs shook with effort. She couldn't move. 
"I am going to take this world from you." The monster buzzed with glee. It's forehead shuddered, and a ragged, warped horn extended from it. Tattered dragonfly wings streamed out like a cape. The chamber glowed once more. The trapped fools surrounding Adagio began to wail in terror.
"No..." Adagio wheezed. The pitch-black head spun upside down with a sickening series of cracks. The hair fell in clumps, extending into a stringy, mossy mess. The fangs lengthened.
"I am going to make Buck MINE!" 	



 

"Huh? So your name is Lina Inverse is it? My name? They call me--"
So it was like three in the morning and Buck had officially lost the race with his depression. He was laying on his couch, facing the flickering TV.
On the screen, an image of a small boy wearing some dragon quest lookin' shit disappeared into a sick 90's anime special effect. The amber eyes of a mighty and beauteous sorceress fluttered open. She lay against a large tree, but sat upright and felt her beating heart, then scratched at her bedhead. Her orange hair made Buck feel deeply hollow, now. 
"Huh? Was that a dream? I guess it doesn't matter." She yawned.
"That ain't Lisa Ortiz." Buck grumbled. The room filled with a fanciful orchestral sting. 
Some might say staying up an hour past bedtime is the opposite of 'resting up', especially if you were spending that time counting empty beer bottles and watching Slayers.
He didn't even god damn like beer, but he had already drunk the last drop of rum, so he'd condescended down to the liquor store and came back with a case. 
That was two shots and something like four or five beers ago. Now, he was wondering why the hell people tried to drink their pain away. That shit had never worked on him; if anything drinking vodka made him more depressed. 
He was also horrified that he was still only marginally tipsy. Buck swore if this was because of his magic, he would learn alchemy just so he could make a booze that could floor him in one sip. Call it 'Buck's Chuck', make it taste like miller light, by that he meant like potato water runoff but maybe give it some fruity flavors. Make a god damned mint overnight.
In dim retrospect, it probably wasn't a good idea to take an edible before drinking, either. Well, Buck had already broken one of his personal rules just yesterday, so why not throw out the one about getting cross-faded?
In this way, Buck wasn't so much deep in his cups. Rather, he was deep in one big quantum cup made out of anxiety, ADHD, and a small cocktail of poisons. The trade-off? Well, he was in a different mood, now. 
This wasn't like feeling better. It was more just feeling, in general.
His hope that Ditzy would come over and try to talk to him had hit the ground at 10 pm, and once a vulture had flown off with its carcass, Buck was sure it had died. He'd started drinking at 12 pm. 
On-screen, a gratuitous few shots of jiggling lady meat flicked through the form of what a layman might mistake for a fantasy-themed stripper.
"Ohhohoho! So, who is this reckless person? Who was fool enough to challenge the world's most beautiful, intelligent and powerful sorceress, Naga the Serpent!?" Said the raven-haired supermodel of a witch in chunky spiked pauldrons.   
"God damn, what a woman." Buck mumbled.  
There was a knock at the door. The ghost of Buck's hope returned to its body. In his daydream about it, it was represented by a cartoon hamster with "hope" written on the side in red marker. It jumped back to life and began running in a wheel, which Buck at that moment believed was what controlled his serotonin.
Happy. He felt happy.
The knocking came again, but a bit less patiently.
"Comin'! I'm comin'!" Buck drawled, sluggishly rearing off the couch and walking up to the door. He took special care to make sure that his dick wasn't hanging out of his pjs, the most responsible he had been since last Saturday, and answered the door. 
It wasn't Ditzy Doo. 
Adagio Dazzle stood before his door. She was the most beautiful woman in the world, even lit dimly by the hall light. Her cheeks were puffy and red.
Her magenta eyes were glistening with tears, her lip trembling in that way it did in the few times she regretted her actions. She was shaking.
Caught in the belly of the beast, Adagio wept openly for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. The muffled others suspended in the chamber around her sounded no less despondent. Chittering things scuttled and dripped through the dark. She was so thirsty. She missed him so badly. It was over. 
"Adagio?"
Buck suddenly felt very sober. Maybe Mr. Cake was right. 
Adagio struggled and wailed against her slimy restraints, while a brutish predator with her face opened trembling arms to the one thing she couldn't bear to part with.
"Buck...!" They sobbed.
> Chapter 20 - Krystalline (Alkaline Trio)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

When it comes to working in foodservice, there aren't really good days or bad days. There are days you can tolerate and days that make you want to cry in the walk-in refrigerator. The line between those days is a lot thinner than people think. 
For Scootaloo, the only thing worse than a bad day was a boring day, and those were starting to really stack up at work. Today was considerably more disgusting than boring. Scootaloo had rubber gloves on and was wielding a mop and bucket against a horrific mess left by someone who stayed in the men's bathroom for too long. 
Normally this kind of thing would be shoved off on Buck, but he'd gone home after what Scootaloo assumed was a hard conversation with Mr. Cake. 
There's a thing to be said about the plight of busybodies. They are impeccably useful to have on a working team, but when there is nothing to do, they become the opposite. A busy body without something to do and a child without a tree to climb are the exact same thing. In even times, Buck was a consistent busybody; shuffling around his apartment working on manuscripts or outlines or doodles, running the counter at Sugar Cube Corner, or working out. Scootaloo was much the same. She avoided boredom with the skill of someone who had watched the Breakfast Club several times too many. She was always finding things to do because sitting still was boring, and no busybody could handle boring. 
This is why it had been such a shock when, in the space between game night and the day at the boardwalk, Scootaloo discovered that Adagio...was kind of lame when she was alone. Adagio's idea of a productive evening was lounging around her ritzy suite in various states of undress, taking occasional sips of wine and making a face caught between deep self-satisfaction and puzzled befuddlement.
"You're staring, Little Birdie." Adagio said. She was holding some sort of magazine before her face with one hand. The other was in a bag of fish-flavored crackers. Scoots said nothing.
"You have permission to speak. Go on."
"Sorry!"
"What is it with you humans and apologizing?" Adagio said, popping a cracker in her mouth.
"I'm just surprised. I thought you'd be, I don't know, doing something evil? You're supposed to be a villain, right?" Scootaloo said. Adagio lowered the magazine and smiled at Scootaloo. Uh oh. Scootaloo was beginning to recognize Adagio's expressions. This was the one she made when she was about to mommy dom all over Buck.
"Would you prefer it if I had a truckload of puppies delivered to my door so I could spend the evening kicking each one?"
"No, well, I mean, I dunno!"
"Tell me something. What do you think 'evil' is, Little Birdie?" Adagio said. She got to her feet in one slow, deliberate movement.
"Uhh...um...I know this one! It's like doing bad things for your own personal gain. Though, I dunno, I think you're more like, uh, Chaotic Neutral than anything else. Maybe just Neutral?" Scootaloo said. Adagio stepped towards her like a prowling beast. Her smile had fled the country.
"That's the sort of refreshingly simple perspective I'd expect from you, Little Birdie. Do you want to know what I think evil is?"
"What?"
"It's whatever the survivor says it is." Adagio said. She smiled and tapped Scootaloo on the nose. "Evil is also very frequently what a person is called when they'll do whatever it takes to fulfil their ambition. Evil is spoken on the breath of victims, and evil is spoken on the lips of dastards looking down on commoners. Evil is a matter of perspective. Evil, for small minds, is often just code for 'different' or 'driven'. If we're simply counting ambition, then I am an evil soul indeed. When you want something worth having, Little Birdie, there will always be detractors prepared to slander your name and challenge you at every turn. Have you ever wanted something so badly that you'd fight for it? Covet it with your whole heart? Defend it with your life?" Adagio said. Her hand stroked Scoootaloo's cheek.
"Uhhh...not really? I'm kinda figuring stuff out." Scootaloo said. She looked away and felt a heat that made her long for a broom closet to hide in or at the very least a mop. "What...what do you want, that bad?"
"I want to be remembered. I want to be adored. I want simply to exist as myself, in all of my glory without needing to hide, nor compromise nor dull my shine. I am a diamond, Little Birdie, but every diamond needs a foil to accentuate it. Do you understand?"
"...no?"  
"Well, the point is, when you embrace your ambition, it is with you at all times. Even if it doesn't look like I'm doing anything, I am always pushing on my own ambition. Now, didn't I hear you say that Buck was enamored with those video roleplaying games?" Adagio said. She had returned to the couch when Scootaloo looked again. Scootaloo noticed now that the magazine she was reading had the word 'EDGE' at the top in bold print. 
"Uh, yeah. Well he says he likes them, but finds them sorta frustrating, and he's always complaining that he doesn't have time to commit to one." Scootaloo said. Adagio had a hearty, wicked laugh at that. "What's so funny?"
"Oh, it's just that I used to say the same thing about men." Adagio said. "Either way, it's fine to simply work on your hobbies and little goals, even if you don't have a grand plan. What exactly would you say you want, Little Birdie? Right now. What is something that you want badly?" Adagio said, flipping a page. Scootaloo had to think about it for a bit.
"I...you're gonna laugh."
"And...?"
"I think...I just wanna be part of something. I don't really feel like myself unless someone needs me. You know?" Scootaloo said, looking at the ground. 
"...I do." Adagio said. "Scootaloo? Come here." Adagio patted the space next to where she was lounging on the couch. Scootaloo sat awkwardly down next to Adagio. Come to think of it, she kinda did everything awkwardly around Adagio. It was hard to not be a spaz around someone like her.
"Do you care about Buck?"
"Well, yeah! He's a pretty cool guy, isn't he?" Scoots said. Adagio giggled.
"Oh, sure. Do you like me?"
"Who told you!?" Scootaloo blurted out. Adagio stifled a laugh. 
"Little Birdie, I can see that you're more than a little heated at the moment." Adagio purred.
"Y...yeah?"
"Would you mind laying here and keeping me warm while I nap? Could you care enough to do that?" Adagio said, laying back. 
"I can...I can do that!" Scoots stammered.  Adagio opened her arms, and let Scootaloo shuffle into place against her chest. It was like laying her face against the cool side of the pillow, but with tiddies, so it was a general upgrade. As she flipped over, she saw that Adagio was reading an article titled "The best western RPGs of all time".
"Mmm...there we are. Nice and cozy... I'll say this, Little Birdie. As long as you care about us, and you stay by our sides, you will always be needed. So keep caring. Can you do that for me?" Adagio said. In truth, Scootaloo would have agreed to just about anything she asked. Somehow, with Adagio, it was very easy to sit still. 
"Oookay..." She murmured. 
"Apathy is death, after all," Adagio said. She stroked Scootaloo's hair. The magazine was laid down, and it wasn't long after that Adagio's eyes closed. Later on, she would ask what a 'Star Wars' is, and Scootaloo was not really prepared to answer.

That memory managed to get Scootaloo through the rest of her shift. Now, as she was clocking out, Scootaloo couldn't decide if she missed Buck or Adagio more. She didn't want to see Buck so broken up, and she didn't want to be mad at Adagio. She just wanted things to be something like okay.
It hurt to think about; something was fundamentally wrong with Buck and Adagio's relationship, and Scootaloo couldn't do anything about it. She wondered what she would do with herself tonight, now that she wasn't going to loiter around Adagio's suite. Being alone in her dorm sounded like torture.
She couldn't decide which would be less safe; taking the night bus or skateboarding home. It was already dark, and the wet winds howling through the alleys of Canterlot gave her a simple warning. 
"Night bus it is." Scoots groaned.  
As Scootaloo approached the bus stop, she heard a familiar engine misfire. She hid behind a mailbox almost on instinct as Sunbursts' car slowly came around the corner. Starlight was in there, too. What were they up to, this time of night? Didn't Buck say something about them being monster hunters? Scootaloo hadn't really paid attention after the tentacle fight. She was mostly running on adrenaline at that point. 
There was the creak of old brake pads, and the car came to a stop. Scootaloo crept as close as she dared, which was into a set of bushes a few yards from the car. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on her hearing, like back when she used to follow Rainbow Dash around. There was a low rumbling of thunder overhead. 
"This is where the trail splits. Are you sure you want to go for the nest?" Starlight said.
"You're the fighter, Starlight. This changeling is obviously after Buck, so you need to get over to his place as fast as possible. If I can find the changeling's lair, I can make sure it has nowhere to run once you beat it down." Sunburst said. His confidence was air-tight and matter of fact. It gave Scootaloo a bit of pause. 
"And you're ready to do...whatever it is you'll have to do in there?" Starlight said. There was a pause, which Scootaloo assumed was followed by a nod. "Alright. Remember to call for backup if you need it. Then...stop, stop it! Why are you always like this before a mission?" Starlight giggled, suddenly. There were some kissy noises that made Scootaloo blush.
"I just like to remind you how much I love you before we go waltzing into certain doom." Sunburst laughed. "Can you make sure not to get your head twisted off before I see you again?"
"I'm going to twist your head off if you don't stop giggling and get to work!" Starlight said, chuckling.
"Yes dear." Sunburst said.
Starlight groaned as the door closed, and then Sunburst stepped into the light of a streetlamp, holding a glowing stone in his hand. He pointed it forward and it blinkered, sending out a wobbly green beam that faded out after a couple of feet. The beam bounced along with Sunbursts' shuffling steps.
Scootaloo had a choice to make, then. It really wasn't much of a choice, in retrospect. What else was she going to do on a Saturday night?
Like a good rogue, she kept Sunburst in her sight and as he turned a corner, she followed him into the night.
Whatever happened, she thought, at least it wouldn't be boring. 
Scootaloo was so focused on tailing Sunburst, she didn't notice the small, twitching figure that crawled under Sunbursts' car just before Starlight drove it off. 





Buck didn't know what the fuck to think. One moment he was stewing in his own misery. The next, Adagio Dazzle, the most gorgeous woman in the world, the woman who had been using him as a magical gas station, the manipulator who had fooled him into thinking he loved her; she had knocked on his door in the middle of the night and now she was squeezing him and wetting his tank top with her tears.
Buck's arms went up almost on reflex to embrace her, but then his bubbly, cross-faded thoughts gave way to a spiteful piece of reality.
"The hell are you doing here?" Buck said, between Adagio's sobs. Her weeping came to a sudden halt, and she looked up, red-faced at Buck, sniffling like a six-year-old that dropped their ice cream cone.
"I...I missed you...!" Adagio sniffled.
"Was the song on the trolley not enough? What, are you still thirsty?" Buck said, arms dropping to his sides.
"No, no, it's not that, I just wanted to see you!"
"Why." Buck said. 
The numbness in his brain was giving way to the feelings he'd been trying to avoid all night. Adagio took a step back but kept her hands on Buck's sides. Buck saw an earnest regret in her eyes.
"Buck, I know I deceived you, and there's nothing I can say that will make you forgive me for that...but I couldn't stay away from you. Buck...can I please come inside? I desperately need to talk to you; that's why I'm here." 
"What's so important that you can't say it out here in the hall?" Buck said. He took Adagio's wrists and removed her hands from his waist. 
In response, she slid her hands back and grasped Buck's with a delicate tenderness that made his heart flutter. What was she playing at now? This was another scheme; it had to be, Buck thought, but he seemed to forget that as Adagio looked away demurely like she did when they sat on the bench at the edge of Center Park. That felt like years ago, now.
"It's...embarrassing, okay? You know I'm not the greatest at emotions." Said a rosy-cheeked Adagio. 
Now all Buck could think of was the advice that Mr. Cake had given him. Maybe, under everything else, Adagio hadn't just been manipulating him. Maybe she really was trying to care for him, and things had just gone wrong. Maybe he owed it to her to at least hear her out. Maybe, if they just tried, together they could figure this out. Buck pulled his hands away.
"Fine, Adagio. You can come in. Can you be honest for me? Did you come over here because ya missed me, or because you're thirsty?" Buck said, crossing his arms. 
Adagio bit her lip. Buck watched as her eyes searched the floor for an answer. 
"I, well...Can't it be both?" Adagio squeaked. Buck pinched the bridge of his nose and tried not to smile. 
"Just...just sit down. I'm gonna make some green tea. You want some?" Buck said, standing aside. Adagio looked him up and down for a moment. "I said, do you want some?" 
"...yes. That would be nice." Adagio's steps seemed not exactly clumsy, but hesitant. Like she was wandering into an unknown stretch of forest. Buck returned from the kitchen with a handkerchief. 
"Here. Don't worry, I got a buncha these, 'cause I'm kind of a disaster in the kitchen."
"Hm?" Adagio looked at the rag like it was a flying saucer.
"For your face. No need for both of us to look like total wrecks." Buck smiled. Adagio took the rag, then sat, looking around slowly.
"I know Naga the Serpent looks like a hentai character, but I promise I wasn't watchin' porn. This time." Buck deadpanned. There was a hollow knocking of mugs. "Do ya want honey and lemon, or no? Adagio?" Buck said. Adagio froze in the middle of staring at his collection of DVDs and Blu-rays. "Are you seriously still goin' through my stuff? You know what I got in there by now, don'tcha?"  
"Sorry. Sorry! I guess I'm just a little nervous." Adagio said, sitting back. "Lemon on it's own is fine. Sorry." Buck raised an eyebrow.
"I think that's the most I've heard you apologize since I met you." Buck said. He set the drinks down on the coffee table. "You can relax, Adagio. I didn't let you in here just to yell at'cha." 
Buck sat on the opposite end of the couch; about fifty million miles away from Adagio. It seemed like it was a day ago that he was sitting here with her, telling her how he felt, how he wanted to do everything and anything with her. He'd blurted out his insecurities and she'd batted them aside because she earnestly seemed to want him. He couldn't stand the idea that all of that came just from her wanting to drink him. Just the thought of it made him feel like a used condom. 
He heard Adagio take a slow sip, then watched as she looked at the tea like it was made of gold, and drank the whole thing down. 
"Oh, wow. You must've been dehydrated. Have you been cryin'?" Buck said.
"Maybe...have you been crying over me?"
"Adagio, I haven't stopped thinkin' about you since Saturday. Trust me; I tried not to, but if I'm bein' honest...I missed you." Buck said. "So yeah, I've been cryin'. You already know I'm a crybaby." Buck grumbled.
"Well, I didn't want to assume. You don't cry all the time, Buck. You're made of sterner stuff than that."
"Oh, that's real fuckin' funny. I know it's been a while, and you're thirsty, but you don't gotta get sarcastic at me."
"That's not what I meant!"
"Sure." An uneasy silence fell across the room. Buck sipped his tea, then sat back on the couch to stare at the ceiling. "I tried, Adagio. I really tried, you know? Do you even know why I'm so mad?" Buck said. Adagio was silent.
"You're mad because I used you."
"Naw."
"No?" 
"No. Since we started dating, you've been tryin' to convince me that you're a monster."
"I am a monster, Buck."
"And that's a load of bullshit, but not what I'm talkin' about. Once I understood the deal with sirens, I committed to letting you drink me. If I wanted to date you, it meant that you'd tap me for emotional energy. That's just the way ya are. I was fine with that, Adagio. It didn't hurt me. It just meant that we'd be intimate a lot, and I didn't mind that either. I was more'n happy to hug and kiss on ya; it's what I wanted to do in the first place! I figured...I figured, hey, I'm just one man. I won't be able to satisfy her with my magic, but if she wants me to be like, like her emotional canteen, I guess, that's fine. I was happy. It meant that ya needed me, at least a lil' bit. There was something I could offer you, and it was better than nothin'." 
"I see."
"Do you remember that night where you slept over? The one where you were watching Enies Lobby, and you were cryin'. Do you remember what you said to me?" Buck looked at Adagio then, and she looked puzzled.
"Um...that was a long time ago, Buck."
"Well, you were also drunk. Guess it makes sense you wouldn't remember." Buck said. He pushed past his disappointment. She's listening to you right now. That's good enough. 
"I'm sorry."
"You told me then that you were frustrated for me. Because you saw me holding myself back from you."
"...I wanted to see who you are, Buck. That hasn't changed."
"But who I am...isn't really much of anythin'. I'm not like you, Adagio. I'on't have an illustrious career of being a big bad bitch. I'm not especially talented, and I'm not fuckin' smart. I'on't have any big achievements. I'm almost thirty, and I haven't done a single god damned thing in my life. I'm a nobody."
"Buck..."
"That's why I was so surprised when you came to me. It was impossible. A beautiful, smart, interesting woman saw me at a social event, and she decided that I was the one she wanted to talk to. That has literally never happened to me. I've been approached, sure, but never for that. It's always either been business or bullshit. I never knew what it was like to be..."
"Loved?"
"Wanted. You wanted me. I didn't...I guess I didn't know what to do with that."
"What do you mean?"
"Every time we're together, you look at me like I'm this jewel. Like something to...to hold on to, to hide in your pocket in case someone tries to steal me. When we're alone, you're all over me like you're scared I'll fly away if you let go, and every day I've spent holdin' your hand, I've wondered just what in the hell you could possibly see in a guy like me. There had to be something there, that I just didn't know." Buck said. He looked at his hands. His voice shook. God damn it, don't start now. Just say what you're trying to say. 
"Buck, look. I never meant to make you feel so empty."
"Empty? Naw, 'dagio, it's the opposite. Havin' you with me made me feel...significant. Alive, like I was a part of the world. Standing next to you made me feel like, I dunno. Validated, like all the shit I been through was leading up to--"
"Me? You honestly think I'm that special, Buck?" Adagio said, raising an eyebrow.
"'Course I do. You're the most incredible person I've ever met. Whenever I see you, it's like...like the Wizard of Oz."
"What?"
"Like I'm Dorothy, on the old black and white farm. Then I kiss you, and suddenly the world's in technicolor. Suddenly there's endless possibilities. You're an adventure, and I desperately needed an adventure, I guess."
"That's silly, Buck. I'm no more significant than anyone else."
"Well, maybe it is silly, but to me, you're larger than life! Looking at you is like looking at the stars at night! You make me feel small, Adagio." Buck caught his breath. There was a clinking of glass as Adagio shifted her feet.
"Have you been drinking?"
"Yeah, Adagio. I've been fuckin' drinkin'." Buck said, running a hand down his face. 
"You shouldn't drink when you're this upset, Buck."
"Oh, look who's talkin'. If I'd known you were comin' over, I'd've asked you to bring some of the bajillion bottles of wine you got in your kitchen." Buck snarked.
"You're being facetious."
"And you're not listenin' to me." Buck said, shaking his head.
"Well, you're not making sense. You tell me that you're angry at me, and then you compliment me? What exactly are you getting at?" Adagio huffed. Buck didn't like the sneer he saw on her face. 
"None of this made sense! That's my point! You made my whole world light up, Adagio! With you, I could be somebody! I could help you and keep you fed! I could contribute to somethin' bigger than myself!  Yes, I'm mad at you! On Saturday, I thought I understood you! I thought that things were finally startin' to make sense, like sure, I'on't have much to contribute, but at least I could listen to you! I could empathize with you; I could give you a safe place to be yourself, just like you were trying to give to me. I wanted to be that space, Adagio! I wanted to be there for you!" Buck's tirade thinned into a whimper.
"I wanted to love you." His hand went to his forehead to cover his eyes. Adagio's hand lightly touched his knee. He pushed it away. Glared at her, making her shudder and shrink back.
"And what do I find out!? Turns out I am special, in the worst fuckin' way! Turns out I'm magic; not just a lil' bit either, I'm a fuckin' livin' generator for spooky magic pony bullshit! I just didn't know! And all of a sudden, everythin' made sense! It wasn't me you wanted, it was my magic! All I was--all I ever fuckin' was was an outlet for you to plug into and top off! It was never about me, was it!? Am I a big fuckin' joke to you, 'dagio? Has this whole thing been one big game!? When were you going to tell me!?" There were tears in his eyes. 
"Stop yelling at me!" Adagio shouted back. "You're being hysterical, Buck!" Buck took a shaky breath and shook his head. He put his fists up to his eyes and tried to contain himself. Adagio reached for him again, and again, he swatted her hand away.
"Don't touch me, Adagio."
"Buck, I wasn't trying to deceive you."
"What the fuck were you 'trying' to do then, Adagio?" Buck spat. 
He was trying so hard to keep steady, in case she accidentally touched him and a fucking fireball went off in his living room. He still had no idea how the magic worked, but if he didn't calm down and she touched him again, there would be trouble. He didn't want her to go. He wanted her to stay so badly that it made him tear up all over again. Adagio seemed at a loss for words, and that only hurt him even more.
"I didn't tell you, because I thought if you didn't know, you wouldn't think I was using you. As long as you were a normal human, at least in your mind, what we had could be just as normal. I never wanted this to happen."
"Adagio, I'm not mad that you used me! I'm mad that you lied! You knew what I was all along, and at any point, you could'a told me. We could'a worked it out together, but you just pretended not to notice! You let me think that you saw worth in me, but it was a lie! All you ever wanted was my magic, and you...never even bothered to tell me that I had a lot to give." Buck blinked the tears away. 
"What do you want from me, Buck? An apology? Is that it?"
"I want you to be honest!" 
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.





About two bus stops north of the edge of Center Park and around a few turns from Sugar Cube Corner lay the part of Canterlot most commonly referred to as the 'Corpo District.' It was where the big movers and shakers and pompous asses of Canterlot congregated in high-rise suites and in the backs of otherwise reputable establishments. Shaded by the dim edge of an open-air parking lot, Sunburst was having a hell of a time searching along the sickly green trail of mana illustrated by his sensing stone. 
At night, it was rare to see a whole lot of activity. Sunburst chalked this up to most corporate types being morning people, and since morning people regrettably ran this city, it was common for the night crowd in this district to be more on the subdued side. They were usually quiet about their pedigree because no one cares where you come from when you're stumbling through complaints about the missus or the game in a shady bar with needlessly expensive drinks.
Sunburst was very glad that no one cared about his pedigree right about now. If word got out about what he was up to over here, his mother would have a lot to say about it, and to his deep regret, he knew that he would have to listen. 
"Are you lost?" The voice came out of nowhere, and in an instant, Sunbursts' steady confidence evaporated into a girlish scream. He had been wandering around, following a spotty and seemingly random trail of mana via a tiny pebble of turquoise. He was just about to wonder if someone would try to mug him at this time of night, and the answer had come in the form of a tap on the shoulder. 
"Sunburst." He was gasping for air. "Sunburst! It's me!" The familiar voice backpedaled into a streetlight to reveal Scootaloo with one hand up in defense. The other was holding a longboard. Sunbursts' panicked screaming pinched off into a whispered shout. 
"Scoots!? What in the name of Starswirl's grey beard are you doing out here!??"
"Who? Uh, I was gonna ask the same question."
"You were?"
"Well, uh, no, not really? I was gonna say that I know you're about to do some illegal stuff, and I want in!"
"Shhhh! Keep your voice down! I don't anyone to get suspicious!" Sunburst said, looking around. 
"Sunburst, you already look sus. We're in Canterlot; everyone is sus!" Scoots said, following a half step behind Sunburst as he followed the stone. 
"Well, I don't want to draw any unnecessary attention." Sunburst whispered.
"HEY THIS GUY IS GONNA DO SOMETHING SUPER ILLEGAL!" Scoots shouted.
Across the street, some guards in front of a hotel sneered. A few businessmen knocking off for the night looked over from down the block.
"Yeah, fuck it up!" Slurred Berry Punch, who was hanging off the arm of one of those businessmen. 
A light mist was beginning to fall over Canterlot. 
"See what I mean? Nobody cares, Sunburst!" Scoots said. Once Sunbursts' eyes finished swiveling all over the streets looking for hidden assassins or paparazzi, he went straight back to his mission. "Where're you going?"
"I'm going to find the changeling nest, even if it takes me all night!"
"All night? It sounded like you were in a hurry before."
"Oh, we're definitely in a hurry. The changeling is after Buck, and we're pretty sure it's already got Adagio." Sunburst said. He waved the stone in the air and it seemed to indicate that he ought to climb up to a nearby roof.
"What!? How do you know?"
"Context clues, mostly. This is sort of a double rescue mission."
"All night to save Adagio?"
"All night--if necessary--to find the changeling's nest, which probably has Adagio in it, and however many other people that its captured. Adagio was the biggest threat to it, most likely, and it hasn't come after Starlight and I, so it has to be after Buck."
"So you're trying to find Adagio, right now?"
"Yes, I think so." Sunburst said. Scoots grabbed Sunburst by the collar and saved him the cost of a medical bill as a truck came roaring through the intersection he was about to blindly wander into.
"Diiiid you check her place?"
"Yeah."
"Well, why don't you try checking out Adagio's office? You know, where she works? There might be a clue there, right? It's better than walking in circles all night!" Scoots said. Sunburst stopped short of tripping over a curve and looked up. Then he slapped his forehead.
"Why didn't we think of that!?" Sunburst said. Scoots shrugged.
"Come on, smart guy."
It took Scoots no time at all to loop around to the Barnyard Bargains Super Tower. A splash of far-off lightning blinkered its windows as Scoots and Sunburst approached.
"Alright, but I don't actually know how to break into a giant office building."
"Can't you fly like Starlight can?" Scoots said, opening some kind of canned drink. To Sunbursts' amusement, the drink had Rainbow Dash on the side. Old habits die hard, he supposed.
"Well, I mean, not as well, certainly, and not on command."
"Are you seriously telling me you didn't come prepared to break into a place? What kind of criminal are you?"
"I'm not a criminal! This is my job!"
"I thought your job was, like tutoring and, I dunno, real estate? How'd you get paid to hunt monsters?" Scoots said, sipping her drink.
"Forget you heard that."
"Nope!" Scoots said, smiling. "Anyways, if we're not going in through a window, we'll have to do this the Scoots Way.'"
"What's the 'Scoots Way'?
"Watch and learn, Sunburst, watch and learn." Scoots said, cracking her knuckles. Sunburst swallowed a lump in his throat as he saw a look of devious mischief in Scoot's eyes; one not too different from Adagio's default expression.





Buck wiped his eyes and scratched his head. He looked back at Adagio, and from the look on her face, they were both wondering who the hell else was about to turn up at his door. There was a creak, and then Buck's curiosity curdled into dismay.
"No."
"Buck, listen, I know you don't want to hear from me--" Starlight Glimmer shoved her foot in the frame before Buck could shut it. He saw her eyes zip around, and he moved to block her sight.
"You're damn right."
"But you're in danger, Buck. Is she here?" Starlight said.
"That ain't none o'your business, Starlight." Buck said. 
Starlight managed to peak past him and saw the vicious smirk on 'Adagio's' face. Her pupils slit and her eyes flashed green, but then Buck looked back, following Starlight's gaze and Adagio's expression shifted instantly to a pouty remorse. 
"You...! Buck? Listen to me."
"No, Starlight. Whatever the fuck you're about to say, you can take it and throw it in a lake. I'm obviously tryin' to handle it myself, and I don't need you kickin' my door in and makin' shit worse. Leave us alone." Buck kicked at Starlight's foot, but she wouldn't budge. Behind him, the impostor mouthed out the words 'Starlight Glimmer' with a look of shock, which then narrowed into the glare of a komodo dragon. A pair of fangs lengthened from beneath her top lip.
"Buck, just hear me out for two seconds! This is all wrong, she's not what you think; she's playing you for a fool! Don't let her!" Buck turned and put a hand out to Adagio, who was now mid-rise, looking furious but normal. He shook his head, and she sat back down. When Buck turned back to Starlight, Adagio's grin extended to an unnatural degree. 
"I can leave, and we can try again later, Buck. I didn't come here to fight." Adagio said, patiently. Her expression was like noisy static to Starlight Glimmer. 
"No, 'dagio, you stay right there." Buck said, without looking back. "Starlight's just leaving." He sneered.
"Buck, stop talking, and for once, listen to me. She's a--"
"If you call her a monster one more fuckin' time, I swear I'm gonna slap you in the teeth." Buck growled. For the briefest of moments, his eyes flashed red. 
"Okay, Buck, I know we've had our differences, but I'm trying to protect you! That's all I've been doing, Buck! Do you really think Sunburst would stick with me if I was trying to hurt you? Just let me explain, Buck! Let me help you! She's not--" 
"Oh, so you were protectin' me when you dropped that bomb on Saturday? It looked really fuckin' difficult for you behind that smile y'had. You think I don't fuckin' see you, Starlight? You just wanted to take Adagio down a peg, and I get it, I really fuckin' do, but leave me out of it, and let me handle this!"
"Buck, she's an impostor! She's trying to drain you, and me and Sunburst have been tracking her for weeks! If you don't believe me, believe him! Just call Sunburst, Buck, and get away from her!" 
"You keep...you keep on draggin' my best fucking friend into this, and then you turn around and say that she's the manipulator? Starlight...you know what? You know what, fine. You wanna help me, Starlight?" Buck sighed. He took a step back and opened the door a bit more.
"Yes, Buck! Obviously!"
"A'ight. Here's how you can help me, Starlight. You can stop buttin' in on my relationships, you can stop talkin' down to me, you can stop insultin' me when I disagree with you, you can fuck off, move to fuckin' Paris, meet a saucy lesbian named Sabine, get engaged, move to a nice lil' cottage in the country and never fuckin' leave it so you can finally get out of my FUCKING FACE AND LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE!" 
Before the door slammed, Starlight saw the impostor stifle a laugh.
Starlight pounded on the door then, but her only response was Buck screaming at her to fuck off. Starlight kicked the door as hard as she could and tried not to let Buck hear her crying through it.  
Defeated, Starlight got back inside Sunbursts' car and slapped the steering wheel. First with her hands, then her forehead.





"Hi there, Scootaloo! You're here pretty late! Come to bring treats to your friend, uh, what's her name?" 
Sunburst and Scootaloo had walked around the side of the skyscraper and down into the underground parking lot. Now they were stopped in front of a squat security booth. 
Sitting inside was a stiff postured man with pale blue skin, a brush mustache, and a pair of sunshades that he was wearing both indoors and at night.
"Hey Frank! No, I don't have any sweets tonight. Can you buzz us in? We're going up to the office 'cause, uh--" Scoots elbowed Sunburst.
"Because, well, there's been some disappearances around town lately, and Adagio is working late. We wanted to come and get her before she stayed the night here, and make sure she gets home safe." Sunburst said. 
"Now Scootaloo, you know I'm not supposed to let just anyone in, even if he's your friend."
"What? Frank, come on, do you seriously want me to be wandering around up there at night? It's better if I have a guy with me, right?"
"Well, I suppose."
"And we're trying to stop our friend from getting kidnapped, or something! Imagine if Mr. Mistoffolees just disappeared one day!" Scoots said. 
The man adjusted his tie and looked at a framed picture that was sitting on his console. It showed him cuddling with a small tuxedo cat. The thought of losing it instantly drew a tear from his eye.
"...go ahead, Scootaloo. You two keep your friend safe, you hear?" Frank said, in a trembling voice. He hit a button, and with a buzz, a door across the lot opened up.
"Thanks, Frank! Give the kitty a little kiss on his cute little head for me!"
"Will do! You two stay safe!" The sensitive security guard waved as Sunburst and Scoots wandered through the service entrance, across the sparsely lit lobby, and finally into the elevator.

This was far from the first time that Scootaloo had sort of snuck into Affluent Answers. 
After last week's game night and the subsequent threeway, Scoots had committed to doing Adagio's bidding, and that meant being the one to deliver her treats during office hours. In those three days, Adagio had summoned her four times, and in that time, Scoots had gotten used to waving at Frank, avoiding Adagio's boss, and smuggling sweets when no one was looking.
It was amazing how alien a place like this could seem when it was dark and empty. The door to the graveyard of white cubicles wasn't even unlocked. The only sources of light were the dim glow from a few computer screens and the lightning outside the windows. In a way, it reminded Scoots of the aquarium. 
"What's your backup plan in case we get caught?" Sunburst whispered as they crept along the periphery of the room.
"Backup plan?"
"Yes. Do you have one?"
"I uh, I mean, uhhhh....well, well, Frank knows we're up here, and it's not like anybody patrols on this floor, so it's fine!" Scootaloo stammered, taking a loud sip from her drink.
"Ah, so if something happens to us up here, no one will know until morning." Sunburst said. 
"Yeah! That...doesn't sound so good out loud, does it?" 
"No, it doesn't. Do you know where Adagio's cubicle is?" Sunburst said. 
"It's the one with the cute fake aquarium night light thing. You can't miss it." Scoots said, taking point.
"What is that stuff you're drinking, anyway?"
"This? It's like, kinda like Bepsi and kinda like green tea and mostly an energy drink. I got a few crates of them a while ago." Scoots placed the empty can on somebody's desk, then pulled another one from her little backpack. 
"From Rainbow Dash?"
"...they weren't selling so much, and she wanted to dump them off somewhere." Scoots said. She looked at the can with dull remorse.
"I see...and you were okay with that?"
"I mean, it's free stuff, and it tastes alright. And it's really good at dealing with stains! And roaches, for some reason." Scoots said. "Here it is." True to Scoots' words, a little plastic fish tank was on and scrolling at Adagio's desk. 
"She must have left in a hurry."
"She couldn't have been swiped from her cubicle, right? Someone would've seen!" 
"Hmm..." Sunburst pulled the sensing stone from his pocket. For a few moments, it flashed green, and the thin trail of energy filled the air a few feet around the two. "Maybe, maybe not. We're close."
"Do...do you hear something, Sunburst?" Scoots said. Her purple eyes drifted to the ceiling, and she held a hand to her ear. Sunburst stopped short and looked around. Silence.
"...No? Do you hear something?"
"Maybe?" Scoots said. She lowered her hand and shrugged. "Well, we're here. What do we do now?"
"I think I've got it from here." Sunburst said. He mumbled some phrase over the piece of turquoise he had in his palm, and its light changed from green to a shimmering orange. It was faint and wavering, but it seemed to lead in two directions. Sunburst and Scoots shared a look, then followed along the ghostly trail. It went out of the office and into the hallway...and then came right back through the door, slightly brighter.
"She left work...then came back?" Sunburst said.
"There it is again...!" Scoots closed her eyes.
"Is it coming from here?" Sunburst was standing before the door of the women's restroom. In the dim light, he could make out a sign that read: "Closed for Repairs". From beside the door, Scoots could hear it much more clearly. It wasn't like the light rain pattering against the windows of this floor. It was slower and a bit louder. 
"Something drippy is going on in there." Scoots said.
"That sounds like a bathroom." Sunburst shrugged. He held the stone up, and the orange trail led straight under the door. "Oh. I don't think I..."
"What's the matter, Sunburst? Never snuck into the girl's bathroom before?" Scoots chuckled.
"No! No, never, of course not!" 
"I'm just messin' with you, man!" Scoots said. She pressed on the door, and it didn't budge. Sunburst shook his head, producing a small, sharp object from his pocket.
"Let me." Sunburst closed his eyes and a sparkling yellow aura illuminated his hands. The lock clicked.
"Woah! What's that!?"
"This? Rook's talon. For lockpicking." Sunburst said.
"So you did come ready to do some illegal stuff! You're shadier than I gave you credit for, Sunburst!" Scoots said.
"...Thanks?" Sunburst pushed on the door, and the bathroom lit up instantly. Scoots' beaten-up sneakers squeaked across the floor, then plopped into something she desperately hoped she wouldn't recognize. She looked down and saw a puddle of green slime coming from under a stall. She heard that dripping noise, like a leaky faucet. 
"Bleck! What is this stuff!?" Scoots said, scrambling backward. Sunburst bent down and took a sniff.
"Ugh...it fits the description of changeling slime." He said, eyes watering. "It's coming from the ceiling...and so is Adagio's trail."
"Okay...well, I can climb up there, probably, but how're you getting up?" Scoots said. She was using her longboard to push aside the cardboard ceiling tile above her. There was a dark, featureless space above it.
"Scoots, I appreciate you getting me in here, but you should go home. This is probably going to be one of the most dangerous nights of my life."	
"Sunburst, that's why I should come with you!" 
"There will definitely be changelings in there!"
"So what? I fought changelings in Buck's campaign, I can do it again!"
"That's not what I mean, Scoots!"
"I've got knives!"
"Are you prepared to use them to kill!?" Sunburst said. It wasn't a shout, but it echoed in Scoot's head. The look in his eyes was hollow and tired and all too serious. 
"Whaddya mean?"
"This isn't a game, Scootaloo. These are real changelings that really will capture you and drive you insane, or worse! They're clearly malicious, and they were crafty enough to catch Adagio. They're a threat to this whole city, and we don't know how many there are, or if there's a queen, or anything else. If there are eggs in there..."
"Oh." Scoots said. "Could we...maybe talk to them?" 
"They're starving, Scoots. They feed on emotions and magic, like Adagio, this world doesn't have much magic to speak of."
"Could we...give them magic?"
"We...well, we thought of that, but we couldn't get permission."
"Permission from who!?"
"Scoots, you should go. I'm serious."
"Oh, so now you're underestimating me too!" Scoots said an edge in her voice.
"I don't want this for you, Scoots!"
"Well, that's too bad! You don't get to make that choice!" Scoots said, fist on her hip. 
"Scoots, I'm trying to save you from this!"
"We fought a tentacle monster, Sunburst! Nothing could be grosser than that!"
"Scoots--"
"Nope! No more of that! I'm coming with you, and we're going to save Adagio, alright!? You're not leaving me behind again!" 
"What?"
"Now let's get going! What else do you have in your pockets? Well?" Scoots said. 
Another one. He'd found another one he just couldn't argue with. Sunburst sighed, produced a piece of chalk, and began drawing a circle, then a series of smaller circles inside it on the part of the floor that wasn't covered in slime. He placed down a shiny brown feather, then a pale blue stone. 
"I've got a Levitation spell...a Floating Lanterns spell, one Phasing spell, one Feather Fall and one Barrier spell."
"Don't you have anything that packs a punch?"
"I've got a few firebolt spells, too. And a Shattering spell just in case." Sunburst said, finishing a few runes.
"What's that do?"
"It breaks things." Sunburst frowned.
"Is that it?"
"I tried to go for a teleportation spell, but couldn't get one. We'll have to find some way to get those people out." Sunburst said, grimly. 
"Okay. Wow. We're traveling light, huh?"
"These cost around four hundred dollars." Sunburst sighed. "Regardless, we're going to save those people. We have to."
"And Adagio?"
"...yeah. Now, step into the circle with me." Sunburst said, holding out a hand. Scoots took it and stood next to him.
"What're we going to do?"
"A combination of Levitation and Phasing. Some native tribes called it Ghost Walking." 
"Does it hurt?"
"...a little bit." 
Sunbursts' eyes flashed yellow, then Scoots felt the uniquely unpleasant sensation that her soul had inhaled a bit of smoke. A ragged tingle filled her body, and suddenly she and Sunburst were gently rising to the ceiling, then through it. She couldn't tell if the yellow smoke was carrying them or if they were the yellow smoke. The light of the bathroom disappeared as her head passed through the wall. She heard the dripping fade away, and then there was something else. It sounded like someone was calling out. 
"I can't see!" Scoots said. There was only darkness beyond the yellow glow, save for the orange line of Sunbursts' sensing stone. Adagio was up there, somewhere.
"If the slime is dripping down into the bathroom, that means the nest is above us. We're going the right way."
"Wait, Sunburst, if we're going straight up into the nest..." Scoots trailed off. The yellow aura flickered out and Scoots felt her feet settle on solid ground again. "...doesn't that mean we're right in the middle of enemy territory?" 
A sickly green light pulsed like a heartbeat through the stygian void. Sunburst had expected a crawl space with some cocoons, maybe a few eggs at worst. Instead, he saw a floor where an office would have been if construction had been finished. There were exposed pipes and studs and wires all around, and a patchy floor beneath their feet. Human shapes shook in hanging cocoons made of slime, the stink of which filled the air and Scoots' nostrils. Lightning flashed outside the windows at the far edge of the room. Everywhere the pair looked on the floor, they could see sagging, putrefying eggs in various states of decay with shuddering figures inside. The stench was undefinable.
"I smell fear..." Hissed a warbling voice from the darkness.
The orange trail led just above Scoots and Sunbursts' heads, where a large cocoon hung low. Scoots could just barely make out a curvaceous form and flowing curls inside. Orange veins of energy trailed from the cocoon, through the slime and down into the eggs on the floor.
"Scoots? Scoots, your job is to get Adagio out of there, and the others. Scoots, do you hear me?" Sunburst said.
"Bravery...caution..." Said another voice.
"Yeah? Yeah. Yeah...I got it." 
"Excitement. Arousal?" Said yet another voice.
"I'll hold off the rest. Do you see that, over there?" Sunburst pointed. Scoots, now up against his back, looked over Sunbursts' shoulder. He was pointing at what she guessed was an elevator shaft. The door was only half-built. Actually, she could see bits of abandoned construction equipment all over the place, and lots of building materials; stacks of wooden boards, rolled insulation, paint cans, and loose metal pipes.
"Once everyone is free, that's our ticket out. Okay? And if things get bad..."
"They're already bad, Sunburst...!" Scoots hissed. She could see a pair of compound eyes in the darkness, glowing green. Then another, then another, and another. 
"I've got a lifeline. I can call for help."
"Oooh...confidence...the others gave up sooooo quickly...poor mother got so bored...they tasted like despair within an hour...but these humans come, so plump and tasty and filled with feeling...finally, we can feast. We can be whole!" 
A small chorus of chittering laughter surrounded the two as spindly limbed, stubby winged abortions came crawling out of the walls. They had warped horns on their tar-colored heads, compound eyes, and sharp teeth, and those were the only solid bits. They wavered like jello molds and left a trail of slime as they stalked forward.
"I'll distract them while you get to work. We're going to get through this, Scoots." Sunburst said. He reached back blindly and patted her shoulder. She could feel his hand shaking.
"Right!" Scoots said, fighting against the quaking of her knees. She lifted her longboard and held it on her shoulder with both hands; ready to swing. She was suddenly very thirsty again.
Scootaloo's ears stung with the ghastly wail of a million cicadas as the changelings lunged. 





It wasn't a long ride to Buck's apartment. Misty droplets were sprinkling the parking lot, coursing down in the light of the lamps. Starlight could feel it more than anything; the metal bits in her legs ached in a very specific sort of way when the weather was like this. She used to like the rain. 
Starlight Glimmer knew the way, primarily because she'd been here once before and she was good with directions. It had only been once when she followed Buck home. That had to have been months ago, but she remembered that night because Sunburst had been furious with her. It was the first time in ages she had seen him so cross. There was no yelling, but that little vein he got on his forehead looked like it was about to burst.
She'd simply wanted to know if there was anything particularly stand-out about Buck. She hadn't thought to try sensing him for magic; he seemed terribly mundane. That was her mistake, of course. 
Another to add to the list. 
Sunburst had made her promise not to tail Buck again unless she thought he was in danger, and she'd kept to it. 
Truth be told; she didn't like the man. 
By all accounts, he seemed on the simple side, and he had been all too willing to trust a monster and coddle her without a second thought. Sunburst swore up and down that Buck was a deep thinker, but in Starlight's estimation, he walked around like he had a single brain cell that Sunburst held for him most of the time. 
He'd be utterly helpless without someone strong at his side, and regrettably, that task fell to Starlight, and now she was sitting in Sunbursts' car, wondering how exactly she could possibly convince Buck to trust her now. 
This was all her fault, and he was too stupid and too pissed to let her fix it.
"Buck, it had to be said, now would you please listen to me? For once?" Starlight tried. The image of Buck's face as his heart fell apart was stuck in her head.
"Buck, I know you don't like me, but I've just been trying to protect you, just like I am now." She could predict how it would go. 
"Buck. Look, I'm just as sick of this as you are, but you're in danger, and I'm trying to help you." Starlight smacked her fist into her lap. She should have sent Sunburst, she thought. He was better at words, and Buck actually liked him. Starlight rubbed her temples and closed her eyes. She imagined Sunburst's arms around her. 
"You can do this. Just be diplomatic, like Sunburst is always saying." She said. She tried to imagine Sunbursts' advice.
"Having trouble?" Sunburst said.
"I'm doing my best. I know he won't listen to me. He probably thinks I'm nothing but trouble; but all I've ever done is for the best. I've been trying to save his life this whole time, and I just get so..."
"Furious?"
"Yes! Furious, that he doesn't see that I'm trying to help! I have spent years keeping this city safe from magical incursions, and do I ever ask for thanks, or recognition? No, of course not!"
"Because it's the right thing to do."
"Yes, but just once, I'd like to be heard. None of this would have happened if he had just listened. They never listen!" Starlight said. 
"I'm listening." Said Sunburst. Starlight blinked back to reality. Sunburst was standing next to the car door, out in the rain. His eyes seemed barely focused, and his head was shaking just the slightest bit.
Starlight looked Sunburst up and down, a look of utter incredulity on her face.
"I'm listening. Go on; I'm here for you." Aside from the rain wetting him, there seem to be some heavy drops of sweat rolling down his face. They were vaguely snot-colored.
"...do you really think you're fooling anybody?" Starlight squinted down at her purse and flipped it open. Inside was an old paper crane, a humanoid form made of clay, a shrike's beak, a bit of silken cloth, a few quartz crystals, and a clear prism. She also had a secret weapon; a thumb-sized chunk of amethyst. She was loaded for bear. 
"What do you mean?" Said Sunburst, his face frozen in his most jocular smile. Starlight took the clear prism in her hand and felt the aquamarine glow warm her palm.
"I mean, I know you're a changeling, and I know you're here to kill me. You're very bad at this." Starlight said, her hand hovering over the unlock button on the driver's door. She would take it down in one quick motion.
"Oh, I don't need to kill you. I just need to slow you down!" Sunburst said. His jaw dislocated and vomited up a stream of green bile onto the window. Starlight tried to push the door open, then kicked it as the foul slime washed over the car.
Starlight dashed for the opposite door, but the monster was now bathing the front of the car with green ooze like a fire hose of sludge. The door was stuck fast as dribbling green fluid covered the windows. Starlight looked around the interior of the car. What had Sunburst said about changeling slime?
"It's like magic snot. You need to clear it with hot water, or destabilize its chemical composition, or..." The slime was everywhere. It made a sound like thick rubber being pulled when Starlight pushed on the door.
"Or use magic." Starlight sighed. "Sorry about the car, Sunburst!" Starlight retrieved a quartz crystal that was half the length of her forearm from the bag.
Outside the car, which was beginning to look like a mushy soufflé mixed with green food dye, the creature which had failed its audition for the role of Sunburst chattered with satisfaction. By now it had deflated to about half its original size, but it chattered with glee as it limped away from a job well done.
A beam of aquamarine light lanced through the night, the side of the car, and a tree overlooking the edge of the parking lot. It slowly tore upward, making a sound not unlike a can being opened, then moved in a bent arc that forced the changeling to drop to the ground.
The car door and several inches of slime fell to the asphalt, and a decidedly irate Starlight Glimmer stepped out. 
Now this, this she was good at. The thing should have run, or buzzed or scurried up a wall like a bug; that's what the research had suggested. Instead, it hissed and crawled along the ground, its bottom legs dragging lamely as it melted into some hideous cross between a black carapaced gnat and a human. Its limbs thinned into the width of twigs, holes opening and puckering like wanting mouths.
The changeling that only looked a little bit like Sunburst now twisted over and before it could utter a plea to extend its short existence, Starlight's boot connected with its face. She expected a hard carapace to stop her foot. Instead, it was like stepping through a rotted pumpkin. The face of her beloved caved in, and the changeling twitched like a stomped roach for a few seconds before dissolving into a puddle of unmentionable black and green material. 
"Thank you. I needed that." Starlight said, rolling her neck. "The window. I'll just come in through the window once he gets attacked. Then at least the idiot won't try and stop me from protecting him."  
As Starlight Glimmer stood at the edge of the parking lot, a pair of bright headlights caused her to squint as they approached. The lights carried fear, then confusion, and then hope. 






Scoots screamed and swung her longboard in a vertical arc, just barely catching the first changeling to lunge at her and smashing its head into the ground. She ducked to avoid the next set of hissing jaws and only got a sharp red graze on her shoulder instead of a broken neck. The one that had pounced turned awkwardly in the air with an asymmetrical pair of wings then bumbled to the ground before leaping again. A ball of flame burst on the side of its face.
Sunburst held a dried salamander in one hand while softball-sized flames came bursting from the fingers of the other. He was shooting them haphazardly into the swarm. 
"Go, Scoots! Get Adagio first!" Sunburst shouted. Another changeling was blasted aside as Scoots turned to run. The cocoon looked too high and too slippery to grab. Improvise, Scoots! She heard Rainbow Dash say. She scrambled across the room and ducked behind a stack of materials covered by a tarp. A wide and dusty wooden beam was just underneath her, and the end of a metal pipe was protruding from the stack. 
A bit of green slime dribbled between Scoots' feet. The hiss that came right after was the only warning she needed to roll out of the way, grabbing at the metal. As the changeling thumped wetly into the spot she was just in, Scoots brought the pipe around and smashed its face. It bit the edge of the pipe and tried to yank it away as yet another came up behind Scoots. 
"OVER HERE!" Shouted Sunburst, and then the changelings scuttled toward several floating yellow lights coming from Sunbursts' direction. The floating lanterns followed Sunbursts' finger, dancing through the air.
Scoots lifted the board and set it on the pile of junk. She circled around, trying to line it up as best as she could with Adagio's cocoon. The changelings seemed caught between wanting to leap at the lights or Sunbursts' throat. Sunburst kept stepping backward, swiveling the lights back and forth, and tossing fireballs whenever a changeling came near.
Scoots set her skateboard down and kicked forward. There wasn't much space in here, but it would have to do. She pulled her knife and flipped it open. The floor was a bit uneven, but Scoots pushed faster despite how the longboard wobbled. She hit her ramp and jumped, knife swinging forward at the cocoon. 

There were no dreams this time, only darkness, and the knowledge that Adagio was alone, weak and defeated. Even her tears had dried, by now. Someone shouted far away, and then a rubbery peel shook her from sleep.
Suddenly, there was light. A rift of bright yellow opened in front of Adagio, and her heart soared. It was Buck. He had somehow managed to fight off the changeling queen and now he was here to save her. It was her sisters, and they'd made up because they knew she was in trouble. 
The rift pulled apart.
"Adagio! I'm getting you out of here!" Came the high, slightly raspy voice. It was Scootaloo, and she was trying her best to jam the knife into the goop holding Adagio in place. Scoots looked at Adagio's face in the light and went a bit pale. "You look like death."
"Very funny, Little Birdie. Tell me, do you still have a little crush on me...?" Adagio wheezed. Scoots blushed instantly.
"...yeah."
"So sweet...do you still care about Buck?" 
"Of course!" Scoots was sawing the blade against Adagio's goopy shackles, to no avail. 
"Will you forgive me?" 
"Huh?" A stream of purplish energy streamed into Adagio's mouth. Her hair regained its luster, and her skin returned to its pale yellow shine. The cocoon burst like a green balloon, and on the floor just below it stood Adagio, setting Scootaloo back down to her feet. Scoots wobbled unsteadily.
"Just a bit...just enough to get through this." Adagio said. The changelings crept toward Sunburst as his lights began to fade. Adagio lifted a finger, and a glob of slime gathered into a small ball just above it. She hummed low, and the ball squelched into a shape more like an arrow.
"What're you doing?" Scoots said, dreamily.
"The both of you should duck!" Adagio twirled her hand in an arc, and Sunburst dived to the ground. The slimy projectile whizzed through the air and arrowed straight through the heads of a ring of changelings around Sunburst, before flying back at Adagio and spinning wide above her head. The cocoons hit the floor just as the dead changelings did.
"Cut them loose!" Sunburst said. The last of the floating lights faded, leaving only the green glow of the slime. Adagio pierced forward, her slime ball forming something of a thin lance as another half-formed changeling leaped at Sunburst. It screeched, then went still.
Adagio wagged her finger as she strolled up to Sunburst, causing the slime to sway in the air. Pathetic whining filled the room as cocoons melted open and Scoots helped the changeling's victims to their feet. A familiar face was pulled from the slime. 
"Oh, thank you, young man! You've done us a great service. I assure you that you'll be handsomely rewarded for this.
"...I will?" Scoots said. She recognized this woman as Adagio's boss. She looked like smiling with relief was a bit laborious.
"With Barnyard Bargains coupons, of course." Harshwhinny said, wiping the slime from her suit. "You can expect a raise, by the way, Miss Adagio Dazzle!"
"I assume you have a plan, Sunburst?" Adagio said, ignoring Harshwhinny.
"That depends." Sunburst said, adjusting his glasses. "Is it a queen?" 
"Yes. It's their queen that's after Buck."
"Then we need backup." Sunburst said. Adagio couldn't help but feel the coldness in his voice. She had forgotten for a moment that she was last week's villain. 
Sunburst tapped his phone a few times and held it to his ear.
"Is this backup trustworthy?" Adagio tried. 
"More than you, almost definitely."
"Oh, get her. When did you get so cold and professional?" Adagio said. Harshwhinny looked up from where she was picking up a somewhat slimy phone. Behind her, a cocoon glowed and chimed. Sunburst and Adagio watched as a young woman got up from the goop. She tried and failed to wipe off her expensive-looking camera, to say nothing of the slime covering her clothes and two-toned hair. 
"Bon Bon? What are you doing here, you chattering ninny?" Adagio groaned. Bon Bon silenced her phone. 
"I'm his caseworker, actually." Bon Bon pointed at Sunburst, who looked shocked. Bon Bon's voice had lost any hint of the squeaky little bimbo that Adagio knew.
"What's that?" Scoots said. The group of people all tried to hide behind the small woman at once. A number of squelching noises echoed through the room.  
The eggs which pockmarked most of the floor shuddered, then their tops split open.






Buck stood at the door and clenched his fists until his breathing somewhat evened out. Thunder rolled outside, and a spray of rain tapped a nonsense rhythm on his window. Buck always loved a good thunderstorm back at home. They made him feel small, and that helped him sleep. Now it seemed like he wouldn't have any peace until this storm passed.
"Do you want a drink?" Buck said. "All I've got left is beer, but I could run out and get something else."
"It's pouring out there."
"I've got an umbrella." Buck shrugged. He imagined himself walking halfway to the corner store, then stopping to scream at the sky. He wondered if anyone would hear him over the rain.
"Do you really think more alcohol is what you want right now? Aren't you poisoned enough?" 
"That's a good point. I guess I'm starting to get proper sober and it's sinking in."
"What is?"
"This's all too much for me."
"What is, Buck?"
"Magic. Starlight. The monsters. You. I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm so damn tired, 'dagio. I don't think I can do this." Buck sat, and as his shoulders slumped, his words trailed into a depressive drone. 
Adagio rolled her eyes, as Buck's closed.
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to."
"I'm magic, Adagio. Everyone I come into contact with is in danger. There's something fundamentally wrong with me, and now I've gotta do somethin' about it."
"Did you ever think that someone else might want what you have, Buck? There are people in those world that would love to be in your position."
"Yeah, yeah, there's some children starving somewhere, I get it. I'm not saying I've had the worst life in the world; I'm saying that this is too much for me. This's too much pressure and too much chaos, and I feel like my arms and legs are being tied to horses and I'm somehow supposed to avoid bein' torn apart."
"What I'm saying is that you have something that others covet. It doesn't have to be a burden. Buck, you said before that you wouldn't mind it if I drank your emotions, as long as I was honest about it. Did you mean that?"
"...yeah."
"If you let me, I can help you." Adagio scooted closer to Buck on the couch. She'd taken on a small smile that Buck couldn't read.
"How am I supposed to trust you, Adagio?"
"It's in my nature to feed on you, Buck. You're overflowing with emotion and magic...can't you see that we're compatible?" Adagio's hand came to his shoulder this time. A small voice in Buck's heart told him that something was wrong. He ignored it and tried desperately to stay in this moment. "Do you know the difference between exploitation and partnership, Buck?" 
Before, Adagio had formed a habit of running her fingers along Buck's biceps. Now, she closed her hand just a bit and rolled the joints of her fingers against his shoulder in a way that subtly soothed him. He'd forgotten how tender she could be. 
"It's...respect, and equal involvement."
"Well, sometimes. More than anything, it's the understanding that both parties have something to offer. An equal exchange. You have something to offer me, and I have something to offer you." Adagio's voice dropped in volume and rose to a slight squeak. Buck turned his head and found that Adagio was resting her chin on his shoulder, gazing at him dreamily. He felt his face heat up in an instant. Adagio looked down and shrunk away, her hands lifting up.
"Sorry! I didn't mean to touch, I know you said not to!" Adagio said, suddenly mousey. 
"It's alright. Are you asking to be partners? Is that what I'm hearing?"
"Well, if you want to put it that way, yes. If you don't mind being used, I don't mind taking the emotional pressure off your shoulders. Is that not amenable to you?" Adagio said. She ran a hand through her hair nonchalantly, but she looked away as she spoke.
"So it's business, then? Is that what you wanted to talk to me about? You want to make a deal?"
"Don't you?" Adagio said. Buck's eyes once again flew up to the ceiling. He clenched his teeth and could swear there was a brief shimmer in the air. He saw red.
"No, Adagio! I don't want to make a deal, I don't want you to pay me, or anything like that!" Buck couldn't bring himself to scream. Instead, he choked out his words in a sob. When he looked again, Adagio was looked small and fearful. Buck lowered his head. 
"I'm sorry for freaking out." Buck said, and then his face was tilted over. Adagio smiled at him.
"You're a sentimental fool, Buck. What am I going to do with you?" She said.
Buck shook his head and laughed. It was slow and rueful, but it seemed to catch Adagio off guard. For a few moments, they just sat there, giggling.





When a baby giggles, it has a way of setting the mind at ease, because no matter how dire a situation may occur elsewhere, in that moment there is nothing but pure joy, or annoyance, depending on your opinion of children. 
When a crow caws up in an old tree, it's often taken as a sign of a dark fate, unless of course, you're fond of the clever little death omens.
Adagio was quite fond of crows, coincidentally. They reminded her of her youth as a clever, vicious little thing.
She had never in her lifetime heard a creature make a sound that was at once the gibbering of a toddler and the mocking of a crow until now. The fetal forms that came lurching and laughing from the eggs had maggot-like bodies and stubby little limbs that ended in far too few digits. As the legion of malformed newborns looked around at the world, their cherubic features shifted to a loose approximation of whatever human face they happened to spot, mimicking their horrified expressions near flawlessly.
For a moment, no one moved, but then a paint can clattered over. Sunburst had taken a step back, and now all the infant faces resembled his. 
"We need to get these people out of here." The woman that Adagio knew as Bon Bon said. "I can handle the grubs once everyone is clear." The unfinished faces changed to match her sneer.
"I'll distract them. They were born of my magic, so they're my responsibility." Adagio said. The faces swapped to hers, and Adagio recalled a moment from a recent nightmare. "Once I have them, I need you guide the humans to the elevator, Little Birdie." Adagio said. She took a few slow steps to the side, and all the little Adagio faces followed with their eyes. Several of them were yawning like pythons, showing their rows of needle teeth. 
There was a shuffling of many feet with Scoots in the lead. The crowd of infants looked toward the source of the noise and hissed. 
"No, no, no! Look over here, Darlings, look at mommy!" Adagio said. The grubs turned back to Adagio, their faces shifting to mirror hers. "There we are...see? Can you all give me a big smile? Like this?" Adagio gave a toothy grin, and the twitching heads all around her widened to accommodate a mimicry of it. She stepped slowly and carefully away, and the horde followed.

Across the room, Sunburst watched in bleak fascination as Adagio entertained the hatched changelings. He noticed Bon Bon snap a picture with her camera as Scoots escorted the crowd of traumatized people to the elevator. There was a sound of shifting metal and a slight ding.
"What are you going to do with those people?" 
"Nothing, Sunburst. We'll contain this as best we can, but we won't tamper with anyone here." Bon Bon said. 
"That's a relief." Sunburst sighed.
"You guys need to go down and tell Frank in security that you're the missing persons. I think he can handle it from there." Scootaloo said. She reached over and pressed the button marked B1. The doors shut.
"What about the..." Sunburst gestured broadly at the hatchlings.
"Adagio, can you get us out of here!?" Bon Bon shouted. 
"I'll need some help!" She said. "No, no, look here, look here!" Adagio said, making placating motions. The swarm of infant death focused back on her. "There we are...follow me." Adagio hummed a gentle tune, almost like a lullaby, 
"Come little children
I'll take thee away
Into a land of enchantment
Come little children
the dark's come to play
here in my garden of shadows..." 
As Adagio sang to the scattered reflections of her own face, she got the distinct impression that she was committing a deep and heinous blasphemy. 
The elevator dropped away. The wretched humans were safe.

Bon Bon reached into the pocket in her skirt and produced a small teardrop-shaped object. It glowed with a reddish light as soon as it hit air. The hatchlings turned like a swarm of hounds smelling a raw steak. They charged all at once, then several were snatched from the air by tendrils of slime. Adagio held her hand out, holding the hatchlings in place, but several more buzzed clumsily through the air on half-formed wings, their fangs flashing. 
"Move!" Bon Bon tossed the object away and took off running. Sunburst grabbed Scootaloo's hand and followed. He noticed that the hatchlings dived for the object and began fighting over it like a favorite toy. While most of the swarm came after the glowing object, many more still came charging after the motion.
"What is that thing!?" Sunburst shouted.
"Red dragon scale!" Bon Bon said.
"WHAT!?" 
"Is that bad!?" Scootaloo said.
"We need to leave, right now!" Sunburst said. "Come on, Adagio!" Sunburst pulled an iron spike from his pocket, which was pockmarked with runes written in rust. Adagio let go of her spell and exhaled, then began to jog along with the group.
"What did you do, Bon Bon!?" Adagio said.
"No time!" Sunburst shouted. He jabbed a fist out, and the windows he pointed at all shattered outward at the same time. The objects around the room were blown around by the sudden burst of storm winds. It was raining hard outside.
The dragon scale's glow grew brighter and brighter. The hatchlings were trying to teethe on it, but none of them had it for long as it was snatched and tossed back and forth. Even the ones that had been chasing the group turned to go after the shimmering prize.
"Adagio, what're we doing, what're we doing!?" Scoots said. She had her board over one arm. Adagio grabbed her free hand, then did the same with Sunburst.
"You're going to have to trust me! You care for one another, don't you?"
"Yeah!" Scoots said.
"You care for Buck?" 
"Absolutely!" Sunburst said. 
The room was starting to get warm. The scale shook. 
"Stay in that feeling! Focus on it! You want to escape this with your lives, and you want to save Buck, don't you? Don't you!?" Adagio said. Her hair was whipping all around in the gale. 
"Guys, we're running out of floor!" Bon Bon said. 
"Yes!" Sunburst said. "We're going to save him!" Bon Bon looked at the three with incredulity as she ran behind them. 
Adagio felt disgusted with herself. She felt the energy flowing through her, and it was all too familiar. This was a fraction of the power that had defeated her and her sisters. She shoved the feeling away. She needed to focus.
There was a crack like a pickaxe striking stone. Adagio felt a sweltering heat at her back. She heard the hatchlings giggle with glee. They were of her world, and they had just been born. 
This night was a tragedy, she decided. 
"JUMP!"
An enormous explosion rocked the Barnyard Bargains Super Tower. It was so bright, that for a moment, people on the ground could just barely make out four figures standing next to the tower, seemingly suspended in the air. 





"Can we please try this conversation again?" Buck said. His hands overlapped Adagio's at his cheeks. He felt terribly calm as he looked into her eyes. He was so tired of being angry. 
"Of course, Buck."
"Can you please be honest with me, Adagio? Do you want me, or do you want my magic?"
"Both. That's the truth. But if I had to choose..."
"If you had to choose?" Buck said. Adagio's lips touched his and he suddenly felt his anxiety pulled away. It was slow, Adagio's lips pressing up against his while her index finger stroked his cheek. 
"Does that answer your question?" Adagio sighed. Her breath tasted just a bit like licorice. A tear rolled down the back of her hand.
"I missed you so much, 'dagio." Buck whispered.
"I know."
"I've been so broken without you...I made a mistake, and I'm sorry that I stormed off and I'm sorry that I left you alone on the trolley and I'm sorry I didn't come to you, I was just so scared, scared that you wouldn't let me love you. But I understand, Adagio. I understand." Buck sobbed.
"You do?"
"I know you're afraid of caring for a human like me, and I know my magic is a big perk, but that's not the whole reason you stayed with me, is it? If you could...if we could just..."
"I'm listening, Buck." Adagio said. Her fingers were stroking the back of his head.
"You're right; we are compatible, but it's not just the magic."
"Hm?" 
"There's more between us than that. I know it. I can see it when you look at me, Adagio. Could we try again? Can I please just hold you and adore you like you ought to be adored? Can you just...just treat me like a person, and stay with me? If, if we try, Adagio, if we really try, I know that we can find the love that we both obviously need, so please. Can we start over?" Buck's voice came out strained and near breathless as he poured his heart out.
"Kiss me, Buck." He didn't need to be told twice. Finally, the world was starting to make sense again. 
Buck fell into a space between excitement and relief; the rush of knowing he was with someone who demanded that he not hold back. Adagio's hands roamed over his chest, then onto the couch back behind him as she slid into his lap. She was giving him every treat that he thought he'd given up; the squish of her thick thighs on his lap, the sweet sighs as she licked and nibbled on his lips, but it wasn't the burning intensity he felt before. It was the cool waters of an oasis. He'd been dying of thirst. Adagio finally pulled away, her arms around Buck's neck. Her breath was short, and her eyes were smoldering. 
"Do you want to fuck me, Buck~?" She purred. Buck shook his head and slid his arms around her back. Her cheek was touching his as he whispered in her ear.
"I wanna love you, Adagio." He said. Adagio squeezed Buck tightly and giggled.
"Buck..."
"Yeah, babe?"
"You're just too sincere to be my lover, but you'll make an excellent father." 
Buck heard a sound like a sink clogging up, and a cold, grimy slime ran down his shoulder. He pushed Adagio away and tried to rise, but found that he was stuck against the couch. The green slime pasting him in place smelled foul, but all Buck could do was thrash against it in a panic. His arm hurt. The slime slapped over his mouth, muffling his protests and the screams to come.
Adagio had fallen to the floor, but now she straightened up with a sound like cracking knuckles. Her hands seemed to stay on the ground as she rose to full height, her arms extending. A bit of her skin flaked off like yellowed plaster as she rushed forward.
"Look at me...LOOK AT ME YOU DISGUSTING, WRETCHED HUMAN!" Adagio squealed. Buck was looking for a way out, but Adagio snatched him by the chin and forced him to look. Cracks were opening along the lines of her face and a bright celadon light was peaking through. Her head twitched, and a bit of her cheek cracked off, revealing a shiny black surface underneath. 
"You think that a beautiful and powerful entity from a brighter world would fall for you? Did you really think a pathetic little scab like you could ever be anything more than a meal!?" She slammed her fist down next to his head and left a dent. Her hand split and peeled away, and underneath was a horrific black talon filled with puckering holes. 
Buck shuddered as she stroked his cheek. He could see now that she towered over him, having to squat just to get this close. 
"The hubris of you humans is impossible...but no matter. I'm here now, my darling, and I will teach you your place! Don't you dare close your eyes! LOOK AT ME!" Adagio's spine contorted backward, and her hair fell away in large clumps. 	The cracks in Adagio's body split open in a burst of green light. Her skin tore apart like a cocoon, and emerging from it was something that looked like a skeletal caricature of a supermodel. Her skin was pure onyx in color, and a twisted horn rose from her forehead, a crown of antennae protruding just behind it. Her eyes were catlike and slitted, and a serpentine tongue lashed around as she laughed at Buck's rising terror. A pair of perforated, glistening insect wings sprouted from her back. Her midsection was covered in green chitinous plates, save for a massively engorged belly hanging down. It was horribly transparent, showing several round shapes the size of a human head, giving off green pulses.
"I am Queen Chrysalis! Destroyer of Harmony! Your new ruler! Now, give me your fear, Buck! Give it all to me!" Chrysalis howled in Buck's face, and suddenly blast of pink and black energy rocketed out of his chest and into the changeling queen's open mouth. Buck's eyes rolled back as the haze took him, while Chrysalis' belly began to pulse faster and brighter. The holes in her limbs began to close, as did the ones in her wings. Buck's thrashing came to a slow stop. 	The eggs stirred. The door unlocked.
Hasty steps. 
The baseball bat that Buck kept next to the door was lifted and then swung.
There was a sickening crack as Chrysalis' head rolled backward on her broken neck. Her eyes filled with hatred as she beheld a shockingly busty human woman brandishing a wooden club. Her hair was blonde, and her eye was off-center, but she stood with a practiced stance.
"Get away from my Buck!" Ditzy screamed. 





Scootaloo opened her eyes. She was drenched and cold, and to her profound shock, she was alive. Beneath her was some sort of floating puddle. She pressed down, and her hands squished into it as if it were a water bed. Raindrops were falling into it. She looked around and saw her friends Sunburst and Adagio getting to their feet and the lady that had been talking to Sunburst taking pictures of the blaze behind them with a fancy camera. Adagio was casually posing to let the rain wash the slime off her business attire. 
"How did, what is, I've never seen a spell like this!" Sunburst said. He was smiling wide at Adagio, who shrugged and crossed her arms.
"Oh, it's a combination of basic spells. Water walking, levitation, a bit of transmutation to maintain tension in the water, it's all very basic, but also exhausting. No, no, Little Birdie, don't jump on it! Now, Sunburst, do you know the way to Buck's apartment from here?" Adagio said.
Sunburst squinted out across the skyline through the pouring rain. Around the west side of Center Park, he managed to spot a squat apartment complex ringed by beaten old houses and backed by a bit of barely controlled forest.
"There." Sunburst pointed. With a soft hum, Adagio turned the blasphemous energy of "Friendship" to the task of another spell. The platform of raindrops extended into a serpentine slide of water with curved walls. It stretched off in the direction of Buck's home.
"Let's hurry, now. We don't have much time!" Adagio said. Scoots immediately jumped onto the slide, whooping and hollering as she was carried off into the night. Sunburst stared at Adagio for a moment. Adagio gave him a smile that was just a bit rueful.
"I know, but let's focus on the task at hand. You can hate me later." Adagio said. Sunburst smiled and shook his head, then screamed as the water took him. "You have some explaining to do, Miss Bon Bon." 
"I'm not the one on trial here." Bon Bon said with a frankness that gave Adagio pause. "Don't drop me." Adagio rolled her eyes and looked over her shoulder at the devastation in her wake. There was no sound of chittering or giggling, just the rain covering the roar of flames and sirens far below.
Adagio Dazzle had just taken part in the slaughter of helpless children; ones that came from her world, born at least in part of her own magic. As she stepped daintily into the magical chute, she was glad for the rain. 
No one could tell she was weeping. 





Ditzy had hoped with all her heart that she'd never need to be here again. Facing down a horrible monster born of magic in a place that was meant to be safe and cozy. At least she was prepared this time; prepared to do whatever it took to defend Buck. The thing looked at her with incredulity, then a shaking rage. Its head crackled back into place, its twisted horn scraping the ceiling. Ditzy had seen that look before. It was the face of a bully that wasn't used to getting hit back. 
"Your...Buck? Did you say, 'Your Buck'?" Said the creature. Its voice had an odd reverb that was bizarrely irritating to Ditzy's ears. 
Ditzy tried to remember what she'd been taught. She's much taller than you, and this space is small. 
The changeling queen swiped at Ditzy, but only caught couch as she ducked underneath. Ditzy's breasts swung low and nearly caused her to pitch over, but she miraculously stayed on her feet. 
"My Buck! My best neighbor! The man I love!" Ditzy swung low and nearly caught the queen's bulbous stomach. She spared a glance at Buck and saw that his eyes were closed. He was out. That was a relief. 
"Oh, one little human all by itself. How will I ever prevent this daring rescue?" The queen snarked, stepping around the couch. She feinted with her claw, then spat a glob of slime at Ditzy's feet, just barely missing. A clumsy step took Ditzy too close for the queen to strike, then she snapped the bat up into her jaw. Ditzy winced as the queen stumbled back into Buck's desk. Ditzy came again and felt a white-hot crack against her head. The queen's claw had drawn blood. She just barely kept her footing as the queen hissed at her.
"She's not alone." Ditzy heard the sound of crinkling paper, and suddenly the monster was menaced by a flock of tiny origami birds, flying off Buck's desk and inflicting a score of paper cuts. The screen door slid open, revealing Starlight Glimmer, holding a small crane made of yellowed paper. 
A green flash lit the room, and where the towering beast had stood was now a gnarled and ugly bat with a wingspan like Ditzy's arm. It dove and bit at Ditzy's shoulder, screeching as it tried to go for her eyes.
"Oh no you don't!" Starlight pointed at the queen, and the animated origami followed after, slashing at the wings of the bat and forming a defensive line around Ditzy. The queen flew for the door, but it glowed with pale blue light and instantly shut. 
"You pathetic fools! You think your parlor tricks can defeat me now!?" The queen's monstrous true form re-emerged. Her horn pulsed with an emerald glow.
"Ditzy, get down!" Starlight hit the floor just as a blast of acrid green energy burst forth; shattering the glass and mesh separating Buck's apartment from the patio. 
Ditzy hadn't dived. She dashed under the beam and swung the bat with all the force she could muster into the bulbous egg sac hanging from the queen's stomach. The was a squelching thud, then another and another as Ditzy screamed and flailed the bat into the monster's guts. 
"NOOO NO, MY CHILDREN!" The queen wailed and a ripple of green energy knocked Ditzy off her feet. The buzzing of wings like a helicopter's rotors shook the apartment as the queen fled over Starlight's head and out into the rainy night.
Ditzy dropped the slime-coated bat and winced as she touched the side of her head.

Starlight marveled at just how quickly the apartment had gotten trashed. There was slime on the floor, as well as broken beer bottles. The paper birds unfolded and floated around in the whipping winds now coming through the destroyed screen door. Starlight looked to Buck, then to Ditzy, then to the rain outside.
"Go." Ditzy said, picking herself up. She was breathing heavily, scratched all over, and a bruise was sure to form on her shoulder. Starlight blinked. "Go and get that...that thing! I'll stay with Buck." Ditzy said. Buck was mercifully unconscious, but that wouldn't last. Ditzy stroked his forehead with a great deal of tenderness. Starlight didn't want to be what he woke up to.
"The uh...you can melt the slime off with hot water. Or soda, if you've got it." Starlight said, awkwardly. 
"Okay." Ditzy stepped over to the kitchen and turned the tap.
"The...the man you love, huh? You and Buck? Really?" Starlight said. She saw Ditzy turn to face her like she was caught in a spotlight. Her face went red in an instant.
"It's complicated..."
"I'll bet." Starlight said.
"Go! We can catch up later!" Ditzy said. 
"Right." Starlight got a running start, then jumped off the balcony. A human effigy made of clay and a shrike's beak crumbled in her fist, then a piece of blacktop tore from the ground and caught her in mid-air. Ditzy's jaw dropped at the display. The chunk of parking lot morphed into a two-pointed spear beneath Starlight's feet. 
"Keep him safe!" Starlight said, before flying off.





"Why do you keep staring at me like that?" Starlight said. The changeling queen was buzzing in mid-air before her.
"You are Starlight Glimmer, are you not?" Demanded the queen. Her eyes blazed with fury.
"I am." Starlight flew up and out of the way of a blast of green energy.
"YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!" The queen dashed after Starlight, her horn glowing. Starlight spun and dipped to avoid a searing hot beam of energy that barely missed her face.
"I literally just met you!" Starlight shouted. She shivered as the rain-drenched her. Taking a prism in hand, she fired off a few bolts of magic, which the queen easily dodged. Starlight just barely held on to her improvised bident as she flipped to avoid another blast. Her fingers were freezing in the rain, shaking and slipping. The queen loomed above her, looking like a mad pixie as her hair whipped around in the wind.
"I AM QUEEN CHRYSALIS OF THE CHANGELING HORDE, AND YOU WILL NOT FOIL ME AGAIN!" Starlight shut her eyes as the green light barreled down towards her. She had been overconfident. That thing was supercharged by Buck's energy, and Starlight couldn't have possibly matched its power. She hoped it would be quick. 
Her body lurched downwards into the ground, and to her genuine surprise, Starlight found that she was not dead. Instead, an orb of yellow energy surrounded her. All around it, the green blast was boring a crater into the parking lot. 
"Who dares interfere with my revenge!?" Snarled the queen. The blast dissipated, as did the shield. 
On the outer edge of the parking lot stood Sunburst, Scootaloo, Adagio, and Bon Bon behind them, recording everything with her phone. 
Starlight saw Sunburst exhale, then give her an exhausted smile. 
"It's over, 'your majesty'. Your nest is destroyed, and so is your army!" Sunburst said. 
"MY CHILDREN! YOU MURDERED THEM! YOU'LL ALL SUFFER FOR THIS!" Chrysalis shrieked. Another green flash and her chitinous shell was replaced with the stony plates of a huge crocodilian beast. It dropped out of the air and snatched Starlight in its jaws before she could run. The stony bident bent and crumbled under the massive pressure. A bloody crunch followed, and then Starlight's body was tossed aside. 
"Starlight! NO!" Sunburst wailed. Adagio caught him by the shoulder before he could rush in. 
"Sunburst. Sunburst, look at me! Sunburst, do you care about that horrible woman?" Adagio said. 
"Yes!" Sunburst said, eyes filled with tears. The cragadile's jaws opened slowly as it lurched toward the group.
"Let's hope that's enough." Adagio said. A stream of pink coursed between them. The cragadile charged but was immediately sent sprawling by a thunderous note which shook the parking lot. 
Chrysalis shifted back and stood. Across the lot from her, the falling rain slipped around in mid-air to avoid falling in one spot. Adagio stood, all the color returned to her form. Her business attire had shifted into a sparkling purple pair of pants with red suspenders over her white top. The typical purple spikes in her scrunchie had extended behind a pair of short equine ears. Her gossamer fins unfurled like a butterfly's wings and her pumps became sparkling dark purple boots that extended halfway up her calves.
"Oh, Sunburst...you should have told me you were having relationship problems. I'd have been happy to give you some advice." 
"What is this!? What have you done!?"
"This? Oh, well, your majesty, this is far from the heights of magical power I've wielded. But it will be more than enough to tear you apart." Adagio raised a hand to the sky, floating about a foot off the ground. Thunder pealed through the storm, and suddenly Chrysalis screamed as she was bombarded by a thousand sharpened hailstones.  She flipped and dipped, but couldn't seem to get away. Hailstones struck her about the face, causing her head to spin around.
"I have to hand it to you. You caught me during an especially challenging week. You even managed to get the drop on me, and had you schemed a bit better, you would have won! Unfortunately, there's one tiny element in play that you forgot." Adagio said. Scootaloo puffed out her chest and Bon Bon smiled behind her camera phone.
"If you're about to spout some dribble about the 'Magic of Friendship' I'm going to vomit all over your disgustingly poofy hair!" Chrysalis' form scattered into a swarm of parasprites to escape, but Adagio twirled a finger and the hail redirected itself to follow.
"You forgot that THIS WORLD IS MINE! It's simply not big enough for one Almighty Empress of Evil and the irritating little fly buzzing around her head!" Adagio laughed.
Scoots deflated, and Sunburst cringed with a worried glass at Bon Bon, who didn't say a word. 
The swarm of parasprites that was Chrysalis screeched with hatred.
"You may want to get clear." Adagio said over her shoulder. Sunburst, Scoots, and Bon Bon dived out of the way just as the swarm charged forward. Adagio caught Chrysalis as she emerged from the swarm, then she smiled and punched upward into the changeling queen's chest. A powerful jet of water blasted Chrysalis away right after.
"You fool! You think a little fish like you can stand against the scourge of Equestria!?" Chrysalis lifted into the air, sending a blast of energy down at Adagio, who slid along a puddle on the ground and right out of the way. More holes opened up in Chrysalis' limbs and wings.
"You!? Oh please, I know of your exploits, Chrysalis! I was the terror of all the eastern seas! You were nothing but a paltry little sapper, buzzing along the borders of the Holy Pony Empire! A sacked town here, an assault on a city there, but you never did manage to gain any ground, did you!? You were too WEAK!" 
Chrysalis charged again, lowering her horn, but Adagio sent a spear of ice on a collision course, and then another. Chrysalis fired beams to and fro, blasting the spears as they formed from the freezing rain and came falling out of the air. 
"You do have a plan to shut her down, don't you, Sunburst!?" Adagio stage whispered. She jerked her head in Starlight's direction. Sunburst nodded at her, then ran for his fallen girlfriend, with Scoots hot on his heels and Bon Bon following a bit slower, still recording the battle. 
Chrysalis dove for the ground, and shifted once more. Five snarling heads extended from a reptilian body. They each had a gnarled horn, a neck that was pockmarked with widening holes and far too many teeth than necessary. 
"ENOUGH! I have battled alicorn princesses and armies of ponies!" The hydra roared, its heads swinging down to snap up Adagio. Adagio smirked and crossed her arms. She truly despised this creature for reminding her so much of herself. 
"I've battled gods, you shriveled up dung beetle." The puddle beneath her feet widened just before five lashing tendrils of water erupted from it. They morphed into their own serpentine heads before tangling into the hydra. Green blood was tossed across the lot as chrysalis fought tooth and claw against the watery beast. 
As Adagio directed the serpents, her magical aura began to flicker, as did her ears, wings, and costume change. She grimaced.
"Well, at least Adagio is having fun." Scoots said. Sunburst cradled Starlight in his shaking arms. There were fang wounds across her torso. A puddle of blood was spreading beneath her.
"Hey! I know you carry healing charms! I need one right now!" Sunburst said. Bon Bon didn't seem to notice. She seemed completely focused on recording the battle before her. "Sweetie Drops, I need it NOW!" Sunburst shouted. 
Bon Bon looked over her shoulder, then back at the fight, then she pulled out a marble of red jasper and tossed it at Sunburst. 
"It's going to be alright, Starlight. Hey...hey, you're alright, aren't you?"  Sunburst murmured. The gem glowed yellow for a moment, then crumbled.
"Since when are you so nervous around me?" Starlight coughed. She patted Sunburst's cheek as her wounds closed.
"This city has too much excitement. We should move to the country." Sunburst smiled.
"Oh, hah hah. Is she seriously recording all of this?"
"She is; so we'd better have a plan. Do we have a plan, Starlight?"
"We do." Starlight said, pulling a chunk of amethyst from her purse. Sunburst pulled Starlight's arm around his shoulders and helped her up. 
"You're the weak one, Adagio Dazzle! You've done nothing but idle in this hollow realm while I've waged wars and ravaged the lands of Equestria!" The hydra howled as it struggled against the watery serpents.
"All you've done is gotten older, you mummified parasite. And uglier." Adagio said.  She waved a hand, and the water surged around Chrysalis, constricting the hydra's body. 
Another flash of green, and Chrysalis closed the distance in a burst of flight. She clawed at Adagio, who dodged and took a scratch to the thigh. Adagio dipped and ducked around the flurry of blows, humming a jaunty tune and pointing a finger to the sky.
"Older!? You are no better than I; nothing but a lamprey, reducing yourself to grovel for the affection of a wretched human! A horrid little LEECH!" Chrysalis tried to a few more strikes, then zapped Adagio back. A tendril of water emerged from a puddle where Adagio had been and whipped Chrysalis' legs out from under her.
"No dear, I'm just like you!" In the air above the two, about a hundred gallons of water took the shape of a murderous orca. "But better." 
The killer whale of water dropped and flipped and brought its back fin down on Chrysalis' stomach like a hammer. Chrysalis choked out a strangled cry, then a large, dark shape came up her throat and bounced onto the asphalt.  
"Do it now!" Adagio shouted, floating sharply backward. Chrysalis struggled, but could not escape the pressing weight of the water whale.
Across the lot; Sunburst and Starlight held the amethyst crystal in tandem, muttering a few words in unison. A blue and yellow aura swirled around them. To Chrysalis, the spell seemed somewhat familiar.
"No, NOOO NOT AGAIN!" She shrieked, reaching desperately for any means of escape. A beam of purple energy erupted from the two mages' fingertips. When the light faded, Chrysalis was trapped inside of a prison of amethyst crystal.





"Sounds like a fight in a Star Wars movie out there..." Ditzy Doo had always feared that one day, despite every attempt to avoid any more magic in her life, it would find her again. She just wasn't prepared for it to be Buck. He was always eccentric, certainly, and a bit camp, but she would have never guessed he was secretly some sort of monster. 
Ditzy Doo placed a pot of steaming water onto Buck's coffee table. 
Buck was out cold. His cheeks were sunken in, but his chest was gently rising and falling.
"Honestly, Buck. Every time I turn around, you're in some sorta trouble." Ditzy smiled. She was still shaky from the fight, but she carefully soaked a rag and started wiping at the slime as if it were caked-on makeup. 
"You better pay me back for this later, mister!" Ditzy giggled. She'd come into Buck's apartment several times in the morning before he woke up. Sometimes she would peek into his bedroom and get a laugh at his awkward sleeping poses. This wasn't the same. Ditzy was laughing, but it was shallow and shaky. If Buck was magic, and Ditzy wanted him, this scenario could very well be the rest of her life. She wasn't ready to confront that. At the end of the day, he was just a really good neighbor, wasn't he? Things didn't have to go further than that, she thought.
But then she cleaned the scum off his face and looked at how helpless he was. She remembered how much she loved hearing him laugh at one of his stupid jokes, and how badly she wanted him to invite her to his room. Her smile dropped and she felt a tear come to her eye. 
"You and me are going to have a serious talk about this, Purple Prose." She murmured. 
"Ditzy?" Buck's eyes fluttered open and immediately filled with panic as he saw Ditzy looming over him. His feet stomped the floor and he struggled against his stuck wrists.
"No, no, it's okay, Buck! It's me, it's Ditzy Doo!" Ditzy said. She scooched away and showed Buck her hands. 
"What...what...what did I get Dinky for her birthday last year!?" Buck said. He was shaking in terror.
"What?"
"Prove you're real! What did I get her!?" Buck shouted. Ditzy huffed and crossed her arms.
"You got her a T-shirt with Skeletor on it, which, for the record, I don't like at all, but she wears it to bed every night." Ditzy smiled. Buck smiled back, but then his tears started to flow.
"Ditzy...! Ditzy, everything's wrong! Everything is wrong!" Buck sobbed. 
"It's gonna be okay, Buck...I'm gonna get you loose, and it's gonna be okay." 





As the magic glow faded, Sunburst was just barely saved from hitting the ground by Scootaloo. She struggled to drag him under the shade and out of the rain. 
"He's out cold!" Scootaloo said. Adagio rolled her neck and strode toward the group. She winked at Bon Bon's camera phone just as her transformation flickered out. Starlight sneered, then got to her feet.
Chrysalis' eyes swiveled erratically as Adagio and Starlight walked in lockstep toward her. 
"Are you as tired of this idiotic mosquito as I am?" Adagio purred.
"Idiotic is right. Who fights Aquaman in the rain?" Starlight said. Behind them, Scootaloo snuck around behind Bon Bon. Something had caught her eye. 
"Finally, we agree on something. If you tell me what you're going to do to her, I'll let you go first." Adagio said. 
Chrysalis' prison of crystal shook with terror as Adagio's red leer looked it over.
"I'm going to drain all of her magic so that she can't hurt a fly."
"Oh, how delightful. I'm going to see how many times I can twist her head around before it pops off." 
"What the heck is this? Feels like a boiled egg..." Down the lot, Scoots lifted something. It was a pale green, oval-shaped object covered in jagged pink runes. 
The amethyst shook and cracked. Chrysalis' eyes glowed with menace. Starlight and Adagio began to run; Starlight extending a hand and beginning to chant while Adagio conjured another spear of ice.
"DON'T YOU DARE LAY A FINGER ON MY CHILD!" Chrysalis shrieked. A blast of green energy exploded the amethyst outward, knocking Adagio back. Scootaloo slammed into the side of a dumpster a ways away, then lay still.
A creature with the top half of a bull and the bottom half of a snake stood where Scoots had been, cradling the egg in its hooves. Starlight charged as a blank white aura enveloped her hand. A bit of pink and blackish energy flew from the monster's body to Starlight, but the tail came around and crushed her in its coils. 
Adagio's vision blurred as she struggled to remain conscious. She was so thirsty, now. She just barely managed to pick herself up and start running toward the beast, but then she fell to her knees once more. 
"I will slaughter anycreature who threatens my empire!" Chrysalis sneered. Starlight struggled in the grip of the snake to zero effect. 
Adagio smacked her fist into the ground. She needed more magic. Buck! Buck was right upstairs, probably bound. He wouldn't like it, but all Adagio needed was a little taste. Just a little tipper while everyone was preoccupied, and she could win this battle. She gave a low whistle, and the water beneath her rose in a slow and controlled geyser, floating her upward toward Buck's patio.
Bon Bon had stopped recording. Instead, she stared at Starlight Glimmer as she struggled, backing up and dialing a number on her phone. 
A jagged arrow of pinkish blackish force smacked against the side of Chrysalis' horned head. She turned to Starlight Glimmer and hissed in her face.
"I'll kill you last, Starlight Glimmer! I will pay you back for all that you've done!"
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Starlight wheezed. "But you should stop turning your back on your enemies." 
"What?"
"SNEAK ATTACK!" Scootaloo screamed. She buried a knife in the beasts' back, then hung onto its horn as Chrysalis writhed in pain. Chrysalis shifted back to her true form and tried to shake Scoots from where she was hanging behind her head, but Scootaloo twisted and wrapped her legs around the changeling queen's neck. 
"Get off me you human scum!" Chrysalis' head spun all the way around to scream at Scootaloo, who pulled a can from the side pouch of your backpack. 
"Go back to Ponyville, ya big ugly roach!" Scootaloo shook the can and popped it open. A fizzy stream of taurine, caffeine and likely traces of illegal pesticides squirted Chrysalis in the face. There was a bubbling hiss and Chrysalis squealed, grabbing Scootaloo by the scruff of the collar and slamming her into the pavement. As Chrysalis frantically wiped the stinging, burning liquid from her face, she was hit in the back by another couple of bolts of pink and black energy. She turned, prepared to charge, only for more of the power she had stolen to be pulled from her body. Her green aura flickered. Starlight Glimmer took a step toward her, hand glowing with mana.
"If you try to fight me any more, I will kill you! Surrender now...and you'll only be a prisoner." Starlight said. The smirk on her face begged for Chrysalis to try and fight back. The egg that Chrysalis held to her chest shook for just a second, and pulsed with pinkish energy.
"I am NO ONE'S PRISONER!" Chrysalis squealed. Before Starlight could react, a glob of green goo pasted her feet to the ground, causing her to fall forward. Her spell misfired, blasting a bolt of magic way off course.
Chrysalis buzzed into the air and charged off toward the horizon.
"She's getting away! Aren't you going to go after her!?" Starlight said, blasting the goo at her feet away. She opened her purse, hoping that she had more sensing stones, and came up with a piece of wavy, silken cloth.
"She's headed for the Everfree Mountain Range. We're not going to find her again tonight." Bon Bon squinted off into the distance, then shrugged and helped Starlight to her feet.
"Well...this whole night blew up, didn't it? You're not about to lay us off, are you?"
"Of course not! You all did extremely well, considering the ridiculous circumstances." 
By now people were beginning to come out of their apartments to gawk at a parking lot that now looked like a warzone. 
"Are you guys going to contain this, then?" 
"Yeah, yeah, standard procedure. I'm just glad there weren't any civilians involved." 
"Oooohh...." Starlight said.
"What?" Before Starlight could answer, there was the bark of a police siren, and then flashing lights filled the parking lot. Starlight waved the piece of silk and suddenly vanished with a little twinkle noise. 
"You are under arrest! Put your hands up!" Said Officer Lightning Dust. She looked around and saw the damage, saw the two people on the ground, and drew her pistol.
"Oh, brilliant." Bon Bon rolled her eyes and raised her hands. Thunder shook the world once again, but the rain was coming down lighter.





And here we are again, Ditzy Doo thought. She had gotten one of Buck's arms free, and now it was around her waist, holding her tight while Buck shook like a leaf. Ditzy tried not to go back to that place in her head. For her, it was the shock that took the longest to get through, and then the guilt. 
"Buck...I want you to know, I've been here before, and you need to know this isn't your fault, Buck! None of this is your fault." 
"I'm a monster, Ditzy. I'm a monster just like the rest of 'em. I'm so sorry Ditzy..."
"Shhh...I've got you, Buck. Just breathe..." Ditzy finally pulled out of Buck's grasp and soaked the rag once more. She turned to wipe at the goo and stopped short. Her gentle expression broke into a scowl as she looked across the room. 
"Buck...? Are you okay, Buck?" Adagio wheezed. She stepped over the broken remains of the screen door and glared at Ditzy before turning softer eyes on Buck. The moment Buck locked eyes with Adagio, he started to tear up all over again. 
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Buck screamed, and the whole apartment shook. Ditzy covered her ears and scurried away. 
"Buck, I know you're angry, but I just fought to save you!" Adagio said.
"Everything in my life has gone to shit since you showed up! I don't want to live in a world where I'm just...just a fucking SNACK for bloodsuckers like You!" Buck's arm tore free of the goo. The air in the room grew warm, and began to shimmer with mirages. 
"Buck, you need to calm down. I just need a little bit of affection, that's all." Adagio said. 	
Buck grabbed at his hair and doubled over as if in pain. His breathing was erratic as he tried desperately to contain himself. 	Something squirmed beneath the back of his tank top.
"Ditzy Doo, you should leave." Adagio said, with a grave look.  
"GO AWAY ADAGIO! STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Buck's hair lengthened, and his teeth sharpened.
"Buck, I can help you! Let me take some of the pressure off you." Adagio soothed. Buck's eyes flashed with recognition. Chrysalis had said the same thing.
"GO AWAAAY!" Adagio felt that bonfire heat rolling off Buck, but it wasn't his lust or his barely restrained love. He tasted like a fresh wound being cauterized. He was indignant and ashamed and furious and terrified in equal measure. 	Adagio turned and ran.
Buck looked at his hands and saw his nails extending. His face felt hot and itchy, and when he scratched at his chin, a curly tuft of hair came away in his claw. His forearm muscles contracted and tightened and then his arm hair began to lengthen as well. Sharpened teeth bit at the inside of his mouth and all the while it felt like something was trying to tear his back open from the inside. 
Buck turned to Ditzy, who was already cowering in the corner. He wanted to run from her and he wanted to hold her at the same time.
"Ditzy, run! Get away from me!" He was so scared and so angry, and Ditzy was the only thing in the world that set him at ease, now. Buck felt his brain going a mile a minute and a burning ache in the front of his face. He clutched his head and doubled over, teeth gritted. 
There was a sudden crack of pain at the back of his head, and then the world went black.





A huge crash of thunder woke Sunburst. He squinted at a bright light just above him. He looked around and saw various sorts of electronic equipment, bandages, and sutures in clear containers. He was mostly dry, and there was a towel around his shoulders.
"Whuh happen?" Sunburst said.
"You fainted, sir." Said a white-skinned, pink-haired nurse. "You were very lucky. Your little friend there had a concussion, but she should be fine as long as she rests and stays off that skateboard, Scootaloo!"
"You're not my Mom, Redheart, geez." Scootaloo crossed her arms, then gave a thumbs up to Sunburst. She had a black eye and bruises on her arms, but she seemed otherwise fine. Sunburst sat up from the gurney he was on and found that he was inside of an ambulance. They hadn't left the parking lot. 
"Did we win?" Sunburst said.
"Dunno. But check out Officer Dick over there! Looks like she's about to bust a gasket!" Scootaloo said.
"Yes sir, I know that this is out of my--no sir, I am not denying an order, the parking lot looks like a battlefield, am I just supposed to--what do you mean you'll take it out of my retirement!? Sir, these freaks did something here, and they need to be--no. Yes. Yes sir. Yes, sir. Yes." Lightning Dust threw her radio down at the floor of her car. Bon Bon gave a shit-eating grin as the Officer got back out of her car.
"Well?" Bon Bon said.
"You're gettin' off with a warning." Lightning Dust said.
"Is that right? Who could imagine?"
"But if I see any of you getting up to any funny business like this again--"
"You'll detain us? That's a bad idea. You know that's a bad idea, right?"
"What?"
"This is above your pay grade. Now, if there isn't anything else, you're making a scene, and I'm sure these people would appreciate it if you turned your lights down. It's late."
"Yeah, fuck the pigs!" Shouted someone from a nearby balcony.
"I heard that, Garble! You think I can't see you up there!?" Shouted Lightning Dust. The rubberneckers of Buck's apartment complex grumbled some slurs at Lightning Dust, but nobody made a move. Lightning Dust stared at the balconies, then at Bon Bon, and snarled. Bon Bon smiled and waved dismissively.
The spinning lights came to a stop, and people clapped and hooted as the cop car pulled away, then went back to their business.
"Where's Starlight?" Sunburst said, looking around.
"I dunno, probably wherever Adagio is?" Scoots said, shrugging. She bit off the top of a stick of jerky. Sunburst reached into the front of his soaked shirt and pulled out a sensing stone on a chain. It had Starlight's name carved into the front. Sunburst touched it, and a beam of light pointed up to an apartment on the far end of the lot.
"Oh no." Sunburst said, rising.
"Oh yeah?" Scoots said.
"Scoots, Starlight is in Buck's apartment. Buck is in there.
"Uh huh. So what?"
"So, who do you think got attacked first tonight!?" Sunburst ran for the stairs, nearly tripping over a puddle.
"Ah ah ah! You two need to sit here and rest for a little bit! I don't know what you've been up to and I frankly don't get paid enough to care, but if you try to run off and get even more beat up, I will dope you both, you hear me?" Barked Nurse Redheart. Scoots and Sunburst looked at each other, then pouted in unison. 
"They're going to want a report, Sunburst. I've got the video, but I think you should tell them what happened tonight." Bon Bon said, stepping over.
"What am I supposed to tell them, Sweetie Drops? Everything went to hell."
"From a certain point of view, sure. But, if you look at it another way, you might say that you tracked down the home base of a deadly villain from Equestria, saved all the captives, knocked it out, then went toe to toe with said queen bitch, managed to beat her back with your team, and no one even got hurt! I'd call that an overall win." Sweetie Drops smiled.
"But she got away! And what about Adagio?" Sunburst said. Sweetie Drops' smile dropped.
"That's the tricky part. I have no idea how to call this. You said she had the beginnings of redemption in your previous report, but did she look in any way reformed to you?"
"...no. She was protecting her interests, pure and simple."
"Do you really think that?" Scoots said, looking almost offended.
"Sunburst, Adagio Dazzle harnessed the power of friendship, tonight. She fought a villain. She was winning! If she's only doing this to get to, what's his name?"
"Buck."
"If she's just doing all of this to get back to Buck's magic, she can probably be negotiated with. Would you say that Adagio Dazzle is reasonable when fed?" Sunburst said 'Yes', while Scoots smirked and said 'No'. Sunburst glared at Scoots.
"I mean, yeah?" Bon Bon turned to Scoots.
"Who are you exactly?"
"You first, lady!"
"Fair enough. Sunburst, how we move forward from here on is going to be critical. We need to keep Adagio Dazzle on our side. However you do it, fix whatever the drama is, and figure it out. I'll support you as best I can, but you know how the top brass can be."
"I do, I do. Thanks, Sweetie Drops, for everything."
"Don't mention it." The cream-colored woman said.
"What about Buck?"
"Buck? Right, he's the other half of this...uh, don't talk about him so much in the report. People know he's got juice, but no one is really chasing that up right now. So, I guess, just keep him calm." She shrugged as she walked out of the lot and into the storm. After a few seconds, the sound of her yelling for a taxi echoed through the night, and then she was gone. 





"Did you have to hit him with the bat? Don't you have like a sleep spell or somethin'?" Ditzy said. She had laid Buck across the couch with his head comfortably in her lap after she bandaged it. 
"Sleep spells are elusive. Kind of the deal with components for illusion magic in general. Expensive." Starlight shrugged. She was standing awkwardly against the wall. "So yeah, I had to bean him over the head."
"You were smiling."
"I was glad that I got here in time." Starlight said. Ditzy Doo sat awkwardly for a bit before she found something else to say.
"So, did you know I was here?"
"I honestly didn't. This is all a coincidence; I promise."
"Would you have visited if you knew?"
"...I wouldn't want to remind you of Fillydelphia."
"Well...how've you been, Starlight?" 
"Honestly? Really well. I'm dating a great guy, and when I'm not being thrown around by monsters, things mostly make sense. How about you?"
"Things've been up and down, but mostly normal. I guess nothing lasts forever, huh?" Quiet sat like a lump in the throat between the two women. "Starlight...what was that? What was happening to Buck?"
"You already know, Ditzy." Starlight frowned.
"There has to be a name for it." Ditzy said. Starlight sighed.
"...when a creature is directly exposed to a whole lot of magical energy while in a heightened emotional state, it can change them. They start to resemble a more powerful 'truer' form of themselves. In the case of humans, they often take on features from their equestrian counterparts. When this happens and the creature maintains their mental faculties and self control, it's called 'Ascension'."
"And what happens when they don't?" Ditzy said, looking down at Buck's sleeping face.
"That's called 'Demonification'. It traps a person in a state of mania related to whatever their strongest emotion is. Usually these forms are extremely temporary, but if the creature stays in that emotional state for too long, they can get stuck like that. Without intervention, the change can become permanent. This is what happened with--"
"With Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle and Gloriosa Daisy." Ditzy cut in.
"...right. Buck naturally generates a whole lot of magic when he gets emotional."
"And he's an emotional man already." Ditzy said. She stroked Buck's cheek and smiled down at him.
"Ditzy, I know you've been through a lot tonight already, and we have a lot of catching up to do, but I want you to know that if you need to get away from here, Sunburst and I can help you, whenever you need. You don't have to look after him like this. I know if it was me, I wouldn't want to, especially considering...you know, what happened. It's a lot of responsibility." Starlight said. 
"Is that your roundabout way of asking me to take care of him?" Ditzy Doo smiled. "You haven't changed at all, Starlight." 
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to. But I will admit...I'd rather it be you then that freaky fish woman." Starlight said. 
"She came to check on him." 
"She came because she was thirsty."
"Starlight, I looked in her eyes. She was terrified for him." 
"She doesn't care about him, Ditzy, she just wants his magic. Look, we need to focus. Buck is...after what he went through tonight and this week and...well, every day since he met Adagio, he's not going to be the same. Buck was having a total mental breakdown, and if we had let it go on, who knows what he would have turned into!"
"He got weirdly fuzzy." Ditzy said. Her fingers were running along Buck's forehead, then his lips. 
"He needs my help."
"He needs therapy, Starlight. We all do."
"You know he can't afford that."
"Yeah..."
"But there is another way. I work for a nonprofit that deals with this sort of thing. Not everything can be directly covered up, but there are sometimes witnesses to things that are better left forgotten, so they use these." Starlight said. She pulled a small oval stone from her purse. It had a runic eye carved into the side of it.
"What is it?"
"It's a replica memory stone; a sort of artifact. I can use this to make Buck forget some things about tonight, but we'll have to fill in the blanks; whisper in his ear before he wakes up. The effect may be unstable, but we can get Buck back to normal and skip the years of therapy.
"You want to mess with Buck's head!?"
"Only a little! Just enough to help him through this!" 
"Is it going to hurt him?"
"No, I don't think so." 
"But it still feels wrong."
"But if we don't, Buck might wake up and start turning into that thing again. And I need your help. Buck doesn't trust me, so he'll probably reject what I say, even subconsciously. He trusts you." 
"You want me to lie him."
"I want you to help him, Ditzy. I know it's been a long time, but...you've got to trust me. Someone has to."
"Starlight, it's okay. I know you wouldn't be asking if it wasn't important. I trust you, I'm just worried about him. Are you sure this is the right choice?"
"Well, no. But it's the best choice that we've got." Starlight sighed and held the stone over Buck's head. The runes on its surface began to glow with a bluish light. Starlight closed her eyes and chanted a few words. 
"Are you going to erase my memory, too?"
"What? No, of course not!"
"But you'll do it to Buck." 
"..."
"Hey, once this is all cleaned up, do you want to meet Dinky?" Ditzy said.
"Who's Dinky?" 
"She's my daughter, Starlight."
"...oh." 
The light flashed, filling the room, and the night's events passed from Buck's memory like a distant dream.



 

Sunday came as Sundays do, with Ditzy getting up early. Dinky was still conked out, but she was big enough to get herself out of bed when she was ready. She'd had a rough week too.
Ditzy decided it was a plaid shirt and shorts sort of morning. Day. That's right, the Cake's had given her a bit of time off.
Buck wasn't in his bed, and this was surprising until Ditzy remembered that it was Sunday, and so Buck would be jogging.
What was much more shocking was the fact that Buck's living room was no longer even a little bit destroyed. For just a moment, Ditzy wondered if this had been some sort of super elaborate prank, but Starlight had been there and she knew better than to doubt Starlight Glimmer.
Ditzy looked down and realized that she'd started making an omelet without thinking about it. Buck and Dinky both liked a little extra pepper on it. Buck would be back soon, and the fact that he wasn't expecting breakfast was the whole reason Ditzy kept cooking it. Buck would never let Ditzy make him breakfast every morning, so Ditzy had to sneak it to him. It was a little game they played.
Ditzy Doo set the plate down, settled on Buck's couch, tried to think about what came next. Buck had wanted her to run when he changed. This wasn't the same as before. He was scared.
"He must be tired of being scared. I sure am." Ditzy said. She could always take Dinky and run if things got bad.
The door clicked. Ditzy Doo held her breath.
"So that nasty-ass energy drink was like, like poison to her?"
"Yeah man, but that's not the crazy part! She was turning into all sorts of stuff!" Buck and Scootaloo walked into the apartment. Buck was drenched with sweat.
"Does that mean that bug spray works on changelings?"
"I mean, they're sorta bugs right?"
"I guess. So all of you fought her, then?"
"Yeah! You should've seen Adagio out there! She was super anime!"
"Huh. Oh, hey Ditzy!" Buck's face lit up, and Ditzy immediately started blushing. 
"Scoots, I'll catch you later. Me and Ditzy need to talk, okay?" Scoots looked from Buck to Ditzy, then smiled and nodded in Ditzy's direction. It was almost sad, that smile.
"Alright, bro. You're sure you're okay?"
"Not really? But it's alright. I'll see you at work."
"'Kay. See you guys later!" Scootaloo said.
Buck waited a few seconds, before opening the door to check for eavesdropping. Then he stepped into his bedroom and came out, wiping his face with a towel. He sat down silently next to Ditzy and stared straight ahead.
"So...I heard you saved my life last night." Buck said.
"Mhm." Ditzy said.
"And now you're here again, servin' me breakfast." 
"Mhm." 
"And even if I argue, and tell you that you don't gotta do that, you're gonna come in here and do it anyway." Buck said, leaning back. Ditzy saw the corner of his mouth raise.
"You're the one that gave me a spare key, Buck." Ditzy giggled. 
"Ditzy...can we talk about it? How you kissed me?" 
"...you kissed me back, Buck."
"I sure did, didn't I? Do you regret it?"
"No."
"Would you do it again?" Buck said. His cheeks flushed.
"Are you asking me?"
"No, no!"
"Oh."
"But, just, hypothetically, if I asked you to, would--Mmph!" Ditzy grabbed Buck by the collar and pulled his lips to hers. She was glad his breath tasted like toothpaste and not like beer. 
"I. Am so tired. Of you! Acting like! A gentleman around me!" Ditzy punctuated her words with quick kisses. Then her face went red, and she let go of Buck's collar and sheepishly patted his chest. Buck's big warm hand took Ditzy's before she could shrink away. 
"Well, Miss Doo, where do we go from here?" 
"Do you...do you love her, Buck? I'm serious. Do you love her?" Ditzy said. She didn't look away this time. Both eyes trained on Bucks for a moment.
"It don't matter. She only wants me for my magic." Buck said. Ditzy frowned and grappled with herself for a moment. He likes it when girls are aggressive. Be aggressive!
"Do you think you could love me, Buck?"
"What?"
"Do you think...you could love me?"
"...I don't think I understand the question?" Buck said. He looked genuinely befuddled.
"Don't make me say it again, Purple Prose..." 
"Well, of course I love you, Ditzy! Are you kidding me?" Buck said it like he was saying the sky was blue. 
Ditzy squeaked in surprise as he scooted closer. She thought maybe her head would explode. That was not the response she had expected. 
"Did you not...? Okay, Ditzy listen to me. I love you." Buck's golden gaze stared straight on into Ditzy. He squeezed her hand. "I love you...in the way you love someone that you just can't do without. You are beautiful and brilliant and creative and a wonderful mother and an incredible neighbor and I adore you, Ditzy Doo! There is so much to love about you, and I find something new every time you come over! I can't imagine a life without you or Dinky, because you two are the best thing that's ever happened to me. I love you, Ditzy Doo, and if you don't think I do, I'll say it every day from now on. I'll say it a million times; I love you. You get me? I love you, Ditzy Doo!" By now, Buck had a hand on Ditzy's blazing cheek, watching the astonishment settle into an endorphin-fueled haze. 	
Ditzy sucked in her lips and started breathing heavily and staring at her lap.
"Do you really mean that, Buck?" Ditzy squeaked. She pinched her arm and found that she wasn't dreaming. 
"Every day I spend with you is better, because you're a part of it. If that ain't love, I don't know what is. Hey...hey, look at me. I love you, Ditzy Doo." Buck said. Ditzy rubbed her thighs together nervously and nodded.
"Okay." She whispered.
"But...that ain't what you wanted to hear, is it?" Buck said, sitting up straight. "You wanna know if I'm 'in love' with you, and that's not the same thing." 
"...well?" Ditzy looked away.
"Well, I don't know, Ditzy."
"Oh..." Ditzy felt her world start to topple over. Buck's hand landed firmly on her shoulder.
"But...I wanna find out. If you'll have me, we could, uh...we could try, you know? Do you...wanna go out sometime?" Buck said. Now he was the one blushing like a school kid. 
"I'd love to, Buck." Ditzy leaned in slowly and planted a kiss on Buck's cheek. The door opened, and the two of them separated and blushed scandalously. 
"Good mornin', Mama! Good mornin' Buck!" Said Dinky Doo. Buck imagined an audience applauding as the little blonde wonder walked confidently into the room.
"Heya, Dink! You ready to work out this morning?" Buck said.
"No!"
"Feeling tired today?"
"Just no!" Dinky said, smiling. She sat down between Buck and Ditzy do and kicked her feet.
"'Atta girl." Buck said, tousling her hair. 
"What do you wanna do this morning, Dinky?" Ditzy Doo said. 
"I wanna watch cartoons with Buck!" Dinky cheered. She hugged Ditzy Doo around the waist by way of greeting, then simply chose not to let go. 
"Oh, is that so?" Ditzy said. "Can mama watch with you?" 
"I dunno! Is that okay, Buck?" Dinky said with absolute seriousness. 
"Why, it'd be my pleasure." Buck said, nodding graciously with a hand over his heart as if he'd just been asked for a dance at the cotillion. He smiled as Ditzy giggled through her blush. "What're we watchin', Dink?"
"I wanna watch Courage!" Dinky said. Buck looked at her, then at Ditzy Doo, who was getting up from the couch. Courage the Cowardly Dog was a sort of mixed media horror cartoon from when they were kids. Ditzy Doo had a grave look on her face which communicated to Buck that she would not tolerate the nightmares that Dinky would surely have.
"That...might be a little too scary for me, Dink. Can you pick something else?"
"Um...I wanna watch Craig!" Ditzy said, tapping her chin. Craig of the Creek was a wonderful show about kids exploring the woods behind their neighborhood. Ditzy nodded.
"That sounds great, Dinky!" 
"How do you want your eggs, Dinky?" Ditzy said from the kitchen.
"S...Scarmbled! I want...I want pepper, like Buck!" Dinky said. 
"Buck?" Ditzy called. Buck looked over his shoulder, catching Ditzy just as she pulled her hair into a ponytail. Her arms were up, and her chest was pushed out, and Buck remembered suddenly that there was a child next to him, so he crossed his legs.
"Your breakfast is getting cold. Don't you think you should dig in?" Ditzy smiled angelically at Buck, then the egg she was holding slipped out of her hand and hit the floor.
Everything had changed, and yet, somehow, things were exactly the same. 
That was how Buck's Summer started.
> Chapter 21 - Kiss (Prince)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What did you tell them, exactly?"
"What did I tell who?" Bon Bon sat across from Adagio in the break room. A week had passed since the battle with Chrysalis, and things were back to normal depressingly fast at Affluent Answers. 
Adagio had gotten her raise, which she barely noticed, her car had gotten out of the shop, and now it was Tuesday morning. Adagio had been feeding on the grey numbness of the office, and she could feel her patience beginning to fray at the edges. 
Things had been delightfully, horribly quiet. 
"The witnesses. The police. The press. I expected an investigation, or perhaps a violation of my privacy by the esteemed C.C.P.D."
"Ah. Well, we had to pull some strings and grease some palms, but you and your..."
"Associates."
"Associates should be in the clear. Now, covering up the fight in the parking lot was impossible. Someone caught video. Did you know that you're a hero, now?" Bon Bon held out her phone, which showed a clip of Adagio dominating Chrysalis with anime fight scene noises added in. 
"Oh, how sweet." Adagio's frown didn't move, but her eyes gleamed for just a moment.
"I thought you'd be happy that people aren't looking at you as a villain. This must be pretty convenient for your P.R."
"Well, Bon Bon, if that is your real name--"
"It's not."
"It's nice to be appreciated, but I couldn't care less about where I stand in meme culture. In the span of a day, they'll have moved on to the next loud, obnoxious spectacle and I'll move on with my life." Adagio flashed the briefest of smirks, then returned to her steady poker face.
"You should really reconsider that stance. You have a lot of eyes on you, Adagio, and being a 'loud, obnoxious spectacle' can be very dangerous. You ought to watch your step."
"Are you threatening me, Miss Bon Bon?" Adagio frowned and the tea in front of Bon Bon stopped steaming in an instant.
"Me personally? No, not at all. What I'm saying is that people have every reason to fear you, and it would be prudent to not come off as a greater threat. However." Bon Bon said. Her raised hand stopped Adagio's rebuttal before it could come out.
"We recognize that you are a magical creature, and you have physiological needs that warrant consideration. I've been asked to offer you an alternative to stalking the streets like a vampire for magic." Bon Bon said, tossing a silken, jingling sac onto the table.
Adagio's eyes widened as she tasted something akin to freshly baked bread. She plucked the bag and gave it a rattle before tugging the chord open. It was filled with glittering gems that made Adagio's mouth water. They were positively charged with raw magical energy. 
"...not a threat, then. A bribe. What do you want from me?" Adagio said, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin.
"Read the note inside." Bon Bon said. Adagio pulled a little slip of paper from the bag and read it aloud.
"'Dear Miss Adagio Dazzle,
We are happy to offer you a monthly stipend of magically charged gems, courtesy of Camp Everfree.
In exchange, we ask that you keep your distance from the man known as Purple Prose or 'Buck', for the safety of all living things in Canterlot.
We look forward to your further cooperation.' 
"Excuse me?" Adagio had meant it to come out as polite shock. Instead, it was a vicious growl that poked out of a toothy snarl. 
"There's enough in that sac to keep you, uh, fed for an entire month, but in exchange, we ask that you stop provoking Purple Prose and allow us to handle him from here on out."
"Handle him...?" Adagio said. Her murderous expression had leveled out, but as she spoke, her eyes flashed red. "What are you going to do; lock him in a vault?"
"That's not up to me. I'm just the messenger. What I will say is you should really consider taking the deal. The organization I work for is subtle, but very powerful. There are Rainbooms in its ranks." Bon Bon said.
Adagio's fury shifted into a cold fear. 
"And if I happen to refuse?"
"Nothing. You'll just be considered the same as you always were; a potential threat to be occasionally monitored. Why do you think I was sent to work in this office?" 
"Ah, you're their watchdog. So my life and livelihood depends on their opinion of me."
"I didn't say that. That isn't how we operate. Our job is to respond to active threats. Coming after you just for being mean and nasty would be totally barbaric." Bon Bon shrugged.
"You'd never catch me." Adagio snarled.
"Yes, and you'd never be able to return to Canterlot." Bon Bon countered. Adagio felt her heart sink and her stomach growl as she thought about fleeing this place and leaving Buck in the arms of his mousey neighbor. "Adagio, we aren't trying to cage you in, and we aren't hunting you."
"This whole city is a prison."
"Look, did you forget I was up there with you?" Bon Bon pointed at the ceiling. "I've been observing you, and I know that you're not the monster that people say you are."
"You don't know the first thing about me 'Bon Bon'."
"I know you're trying to be better, even if you don't mean to. You helped to rescue those people. You went up against a villain to protect--"
"My interest. I swatted that fly because she came after what's mine." 
"But he isn't yours, Adagio, especially not now. He's a person, like you or me."
"There is no person on the face of this pitiful realm that is like Me." 
"There will always be people like you; the way you were. We are trying to offer you a way out. If you take these gems, you won't need Buck's magic. You'll be fed. If you don't want them, there's a return address in the bag, but I'd advise you to take them. It's safer this way." Bon Bon said, rising from the table. 
Adagio wondered if she could boil Bon Bon's blood with a fine tuned spell, or perhaps create a bubble in an important vein. The thought passed just as Bon Bon was about to step out onto the office floor. Calm down, she thought to herself. You've been so out of sorts since meeting Buck, you've gotten used to being on the back foot. You have time, so take it.
"What exactly is the name of this mysterious firm that you work for?"
"The Pillars Organization. If you want to know more, you know where to find me." Bon Bon said. And then, like slipping a hood over her head, Bon Bon's stern and jaded expression was covered by a peppy grin. 
Adagio waited for Bon Bon's footsteps to fade, then she pinched a shiny emerald from the bag. She inhaled, and a shimmering field of colorless mana flew into her mouth. Her hair gained a bit of color, her skin a bit of shine. 
She would be satiated for an entire week.





A sun dappled beach of white sand stretched out to a horizon of towering cliffs overlooking a glassy, swaying sea. It was sometime before noon, Buck decided, because being out on a beach like that when the sun was at its height sounded like a special sort of reflective, skin-crisping hell. The calling of the gulls seemed nearly a mockery as they drifted above a solitary figure standing at the shore. 
Despite the obvious summer blaze and a seeming inkling of common sense, the man was in a full tuxedo, and the look in his eyes as he examined his expensive wristwatch was that of a man who's lunch was very close to being late. His skin was a dull chestnut color under what one could swear was a cream colored toupee. 
"Okay, so lemme get this straight." Buck said, scratching his chin.
There was a tender, longing sound coming from nowhere; a nostalgic violin tune that was only nostalgic because the last time Buck heard it was in a 90's sitcom. The man's eyes cast down, and suddenly, his face was one of quiet panic.
"I honestly don't know if she's going to return to me. I know the paperwork is intimidating, but, I can't risk losing everything again," said Bracer Britches; Manehattan Landlord. There was a slow zoom on the spit of beach that he was standing on.
"So this dude never shuts up about his last marriage, lives in a big-ass house, and is going after a girl who, s'far as I can see, is like his daughter's age." Buck said. 
The music swelled and died, then suddenly sprung into a rapturous refrain as a comely young woman came prancing up the beach. She had a sort of opal colored skin tone and hair like a peppermint that had been zapped by lightning. 
The caption read "Spring Step: Cloudsdale Cheer Squad." 
"Bracer! Bracer, I'm so sorry I made you wait! I did it. I signed the prenup!" She said with a tittering urgency.
"And he's trickin' her into a binding deal that she gets nothin' out of, besides bein' stuck with his wrinkly ass." Buck said.
"So you'll do it!?" Said the aged man, in the kind of voice he'd probably offer to a minimum wage worker in an interview. The music tinkled up to an expectant rise.
"Oh hell naw, that man is a vampire! Run, girl!" Buck said.
"Yes, I'll marry you!" Said the twenty-two year old as she threw herself into the man's arms. Bracer Britches produced a black velvet box and held it open. There was a golden ring topped with a speck of a diamond.  
"Nooo!" Said Buck and Ditzy, in unison. Their hips were side by side, a bowl of popcorn perched comfortably atop where their thighs scandalously met. Buck's arm was around her shoulder, a fact which caused Ditzy Doo to grapple with a vibrant blush for the first few minutes of the program. Ditzy's needles sped up from their steady pace, a intricate pink pattern emerging from between them. Ditzy narrowed her active eye at the cradle robbery unfolding before her. 
"The wedding is tomorrow, Spring Step. Have you considered the dress that I offered?" Said Bracer. 
"The one that your ex-wife wore?" 
"Holy SHIT." Buck said, tossing popcorn into his mouth.
"Language." Ditzy said.
Suddenly, there was a distant squeal of tires, then a thumping jog, and finally the ring that Bracer was offering to Spring Step launched out of his hand. Bracer snarled and held his wrist. The camera slid down to show that he had been hit by an old slipper. 
"Is that a chancla?" Buck said.
A geriatric woman stood in the shade of a palm tree, hand outstretched. She looked like she could be Spring Step, but from the far future.
"Abuela!?" Gasped Spring Step.
"¡Mi pobre y estúpida mija, te salvaré de este bastardo!" 
"Woah! You tell 'im, Consuela!" Buck said. 
"How dare you! You stand in the way of our love!?" Said Bracer. 
"¡Rescataré a mi hija de tus garras de aumento de renta!" Abuela said, drawing a silver rapier that was at her hip.
"So it's war, then! For the hand of my beautiful Spring Step, I'll take you on in a Physical Challenge!" Said Bracer, presenting his steel.
The camera panned back on a dolly to reveal an intricate set that appeared to contain a park's worth of slides, a pit filled with foam spikes, an obstacle course, and a live studio audience. 
Bracer and Spring Steps' grandmother squared off on a thin walkway straddling a tiger pit that was filled with green slime, but just as they dashed at each other, the feed cut to commercial.
"Welp, I can't tell if trash TV is gettin' better or worse." Buck shrugged.

It was Tuesday, and a wonderfully typical one at that. The sun was high, there was lemonade on the table, and Ditzy Doo had put her big box fan in front of the screen door. Buck was wearing blue jeans and an old T-shirt that featured the Golden Girls as a Final Fantasy party. Ditzy was currently filling out a striped summer blouse and a pair of jean shorts, which Buck had fixated on once his eyes finally pried themselves away from her chest. 
"Eh, it's a rerun. You know what I wanna know?" Ditzy said.
"Is this show owned by Viacom or, like, Eric Andre?"
"No, what I wanna know is why you asked me to make you a scarf when Summer just started? And why pink?" Leading from Ditzy's lap to the floor was a fluffy pink scarf with a repeating cable pattern going down the middle. 
"Oh, well, you were talkin' about how the Cakes ought to do more than just one sort of frozen treat if they wanna compete with that ice cream shop, and that reminded me of that time at Camp Everfree when I got my hand stuck in the ice cream machine, which made me think how nice it would be to just stick my fist in a chill sorbet on hot days like this, but that sounded a little psychotic in my head, which reminded me of that movie where Jack Nicholson is in the asylum, right, and well, I always thought straight jackets were such a weird, highly specific article of clothing, or is it torture now? Article of medical malpractice? Those're banned, right?"
"What?"
"So, anyways, I'm thinking straight jackets are kind of like an involuntary hug, or a medical grade glomp, if ya will, and I thought about all the hugs that used to get thrown around at conventions a few years ago, and how cozy it was, and I thought to myself, you know, a nice warm scarf would do me real good once we've gotten out of sticky sheets season, you know?" Buck shrugged. "And that's why I asked for a scarf." 
Ditzy took a second to let her brain finish misfiring at Buck's line of thinking, then diplomatically decided to play through it.
"And the pink?"
"...I like pink." Buck smiled.
"Well, it's about half done."
"Does that mean it's got like a week?" 
"No, no, it's more like two days."
"That doesn't seem possible based on my understandin' of how knitting works and also linear time."
"You haven't watched me knit before!" Ditzy smiled. The needles strung together another piece of the pattern.
"How're you doin' that without lookin'?"
"I am looking!" Ditzy smiled. One eye was trained on Buck, while the other was pointed down. 
"Y'are?"
"With my other eye, Buck." Ditzy graciously offered.
"Oh. Oh! I thought you were starin' at my crotch." Buck laughed.
"Wha-I didn't, I mean, I wasn't trying to, I uh, um...!" Ditzy Doo's needles dropped to her lap in a panic as a deep blush raced across her cheeks.
"Hey."
"I-I mean I'm not saying there's anything wrong with your, uh, I wasn't peaking, I was just--"
"Ditzy, it's fine. You can look, Ditzy." Buck said. He pulled her closer. "Sorry, I was just teasin' ya." Buck's forehead touched Ditzy's, and she seemed to relax, but did not stop blushing. 
"Geez..." 
"Didn't mean to fluster you, sorry." 
"It's okay, it's just been a while for me, you know?  I guess I'm not used to the attention." 
"Ah, well, I can ease up, if I'm makin' you uncomfortable." Buck said. Ditzy let her head rest against Buck's neck. He smelled like aftershave, and his hand rubbing her shoulder felt like pure comfort. 
"It's okay." Ditzy sighed. She closed her eyes and sat cozy in Buck's warmth. In truth, Ditzy was no stranger to men ogling her, especially a certain set of assets that she had, but it felt so strange that her crush on Buck had blossomed into whatever this was, and the idea of him being receptive to her attraction was totally alien.
She knew that Buck couldn't help but notice her features, but he'd been so evasive about it, she tried not to read into it. She wasn't all that pretty, but she was glad she could appeal to him, even in such a surface way.
"Hey...have I told you that you're beautiful today?" Buck said.
"You said my outfit was really cute..." Ditzy mumbled.
"Well, your hair looks real nice in a low ponytail." Buck said. "I'm glad that you're keeping it out of your face." 
"Hm? Why's that?"
"'cause I like lookin' at your face." Buck said, tilting Ditzy's chin up. "Because--and stop me if you've heard this one-- you're beautiful." Ditzy wanted nothing more than to root herself in this moment and stay in it forever. When Buck talked like this, he liked to get real close, like he was fighting the urge to smooch every second that he looked at Ditzy.
"You're such a flatterer." Ditzy said, dreamily.
"Uh-uh. I don't do hollow praise unless I'm bein' paid. You're just easy to compliment." Buck stole a tiny kiss, then. He'd been doing that a lot lately. Sweet, quick little pecks, right at the corner of Ditzy's mouth. It drove her crazy, in a good way. 
"Big ol' smoothie. You're making me blush like a schoolgirl, Buck!"  
"Yep. Because red looks good on you." Buck said, kissing her forehead. Ditzy turned away and picked up her needles again.
"Mr. Purple Prose. Did you invite me over this morning just to pet me up and tell me I'm pretty?" Ditzy giggled. 
"Would you be offended if I did? I mean, I could write you some really mushy poetry if you'd like that better!" 
"Oh geez, you're not kiddin' are you?"
"Of course not! I guess I'm just makin' up for lost time, you know?" Buck said, sitting back. "...I dunno. I'm sorry if I'm smothering you. I can take it slower."
"No! No, you don't have to, uh, slow down, I guess I'm just a little warm, what with the heat and all, you don't have to stop flirting with me, it reallymakesmefeelseenandIlikeitwhenyou'retouchyfeelyandstuff..." Ditzy trailed off. 
She could think of one very specific way that Buck could make up for lost time, but she hadn't brought it up because she was worried that Buck was cagey because of the...work that Ditzy had caught the tail end of before, and she didn't want to be like Adagio who was constantly fondling and groping him, and they hadn't really had a ton of time to spend in the week because there was work and friends and Dinky and maybe Ditzy was sorta rusty since it had been a long, long while for her and what if she didn't compare to Adagio and...
"You okay, Ditzy?" 
"Hm?"
"You kinda zoned out, there."
"Oh! Did I? Oh, no, I'm really mussin' up this pattern! Let me just..." Buck watched in amazement as Ditzy somehow reversed her stitching and undid a tangle of pink yarn.
"Man, Ditzy, you gotta teach me how to do that!" Buck said.
"Knitting scarves?"
"Well yeah, but I mean, like needlework in general. I'm always rippin' holes at the inseam of my pants--"
"Eh?" Ditzy blushed.
"By squatting and bendin' over and steppin' too far. And, you know that jacket I wore to the boardwalk got all kinds of tore up, so knowin' how to mend it would be pretty useful if shit's gonna keep comin' after me." The statement stole Ditzy's smile in an instant, but she didn't seem to slow down her knitting one bit. 
"Well, if you want to use that jacket to practice, I'd be happy to teach you! Maybe next Tuesday morning?" Ditzy said.
"Are you asking me on a house date? To teach me how to fill holes?" Buck chuckled. 
The oven started beeping, causing Ditzy to shoot up from where she was sitting. The popcorn bowl was an unfortunate casualty in the wake of this event, but it was ignored as Ditzy hurriedly went to the kitchen. The sweet, tangy smell of lemon and cranberries filled Buck's apartment as Ditzy removed her latest creation from the oven.

As Buck rose and reached for the hand vacuum, he looked over and saw Ditzy's red face from the side. Ah, so she was still bothered by innuendos. He reminded himself to cut down on that. He didn't want Ditzy to think he was horny all the time, even though that was true. If she was more cozy with light petting and taking things slow, Buck resolved to keep her comfortable. He owed her that much, at least. There was a creak as Ditzy opened her kitchen window.
Buck tried to pay attention to Ditzy's body language while he hunched over to clean up the popcorn. Her expression was crunched as she set the tray of muffins out on the counter by the window. She crossed her hands in front of her lap; something she always did when she was stressed. He was wrecking her afternoon.
"You know you can tell me to stop if I'm goin' too far, right?" 
"Mhmm." Ditzy said, taking off her mittens. She wasn't looking at Buck, probably because he had embarrassed her.
"If you tell me to stop, I won't even touch you. I mean it." Buck said, standing at the mouth of the kitchen.
"I know, Buck." Ditzy said. "I guess I'm having trouble adjusting. It's been a long time since I was in a relationship, so it's a little, uh, overwhelming. 
"Yeah, I can be." Buck said. Ditzy's glorious chest suddenly filled his downcast eyes. She had taken his hands.
"That's not what I mean! I mean, I really wanted you for a...a while, and now you're here and we're together and it's exciting!" Ditzy said.
"Yeah?"
"And kind of scary...I mean, people are gonna talk and we haven't even told Dinky yet, and I feel like I don't even know how to do this anymore!" Ditzy turned away sharply, presumably to check on the muffins, but she instead managed to pitch over mid spin. Buck caught her by the waist and back before she could hit the countertop. Ditzy's chest was heaving as Buck steadied her, but did not take his arms from around her.
"Sorry. I guess what I mean is, I'm worried that I'm not the kind of girl that you really like...I'm not like Adagio, you know? I just don't have that sorta energy that attracts you." Ditzy said, eyes falling down. Her hands, cupped in Buck's fell to her sides. 
"You think I'm not attracted to you?" Buck said. Ditzy nodded, slowly. She shut her eyes on instinct. A dark part of her expected Buck to shout at her, but she heard him sigh instead.

((https://soundcloud.com/user-172575235/im-yours-buck-edition))

"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill, but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
Now I'm trying to get back!"
Buck's voice approached Ditzy from a completely new angle. Buck was a baritone, so he tended to sing warm and low, but this song was coming out light and high and a bit scratchy. Ditzy peaked at the smile on his face, then began to smile herself under the fresh blush. 
"Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
And nothing's gonna stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn
To win some or learn some,"
Buck's arm pulled Ditzy's waist up against him. She leaned back against him. This was...different. She had never been serenaded like this before, and a light tingle started to run through her skin. 
"But I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours!"
And then he was pulling her to the middle of the kitchen. and he took her hand and twirled her around, and his breath was at her ear and her hips were swaying with his.
"Well, open up your mind an' see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free!
Look into your heart and you'll find 
love, love, love and love!" 
Buck and Ditzy's hips dropped low on the downwards movement of the song. Ditzy smelled the cooling muffins, and felt the summer heat. She worried she might swoon if Buck let go of her. But she wouldn't let him. Her fingers stitched over his. 
"Listen to the music of the moment,
people dance and sing!
We're just one big family,
And it's our godforsaken right to be
loved, loved, loved, loved, looooved!"
She would never let him go. She felt him poking her, but he didn't seem to notice.
"Sooo I won't hesitate
no more, no more!
It cannot wait, I'm sure!
There's no need to complicate
our time is short
this is our fate
I'm yours!"
For a moment, they just stood there. Ditzy's behind was flush against Buck's crotch, and Ditzy's breasts were laying heavily on top of Buck's arms around her. She was frozen in time, waiting. He would start kissing her neck, then biting. He would reach down and open her jeans. He would bend her over the counter and...or would he turn her around and tear her shirt open?
Buck's arms slipped away, then his hands grasped at Ditzy's shoulders. She could feel her knees shaking. 
Just once, she had been woken up by the sound of Adagio moaning from the other side of her bedroom wall. It was a quiet, desperate series of quick gasps, right up against Buck's soft grunts. It was the heartbreaking sound of Buck dominating Adagio in the bedroom. Ditzy had hoped that night that Adagio would be gone by morning, but instead she had interrupted Ditzy's breakfast plans. Buck was rough and greedy with her. Ditzy wondered how greedy Buck would be now?
"Miss Ditzy Doo?" Buck said. Ditzy wondered if he would pull her hair, or spank her. His firm hands turned Ditzy around to face him. She was staring at the floor.
"Yeah, Buck...?" Ditzy squeaked. Buck's hands came around, and instead of scrambling at her shirt buttons, one of them cupped her chin, while the other stroked the side of her neck. She was expecting the dark and hungry look that Buck shared with Adagio, but instead, Ditzy's eyes came up to meet a look of deep, dreamy affection in Buck's.
"Can I kiss you?" 
"Please?" Ditzy Doo whispered. Buck's lips were like warm pillows against hers. Ditzy's hands hovered uncertainly as Buck leaned in to pour more sugary affection into the kiss. It was impossibly tender and longing, Buck's lips pulling away and then coming back again and again, but Ditzy dared to lean forward, and was rewarded with Buck's tongue poking curiously into her mouth. Buck's grip slid to the small of her back while the other took her hand, while Ditzy whimpered and rolled her tongue around Buck's, silently begging for him to do more.
Buck pulled away then and gave Ditzy a little eskimo kiss. 
"I love you, Ditzy Doo."
"And I love you too, Purple Prose..." Ditzy had said it easily and openly. The fact that it was the first time didn't even register. She had loved him for a thousand years. "Do you...wanna kiss me some more?" Ditzy whispered.
There was a loud buzz on the counter. Ditzy put her finger to Buck's lips, then picked the phone up and frowned.
"Aw, nuts!" 
"What's wrong?"
"They other babysitter backed out on the weekend. I was trying to get Carrot Top to do it, but she hasn't been answering her phone!"
"Aw man, well, what days were you tryin' to clear?"
"Friday and Saturday."
"Oh, well I'm workin' early on Friday. If it's the afternoon, I could watch Dinky."
"Really?"
"Yeah, of course! What're you gonna be busy with, if you don't mind me askin'?"
"Oh, I'm running a jewelry stall at the Renaissance Fair!" Ditzy smiled.
"Canterlot has a Ren Faire?"
"You haven't been!? I go every year! Oh, Buck, you'd love it there!" 
"Well, uh, maybe I could meet you there and take Dinky with me! How's that sound?" 
"Oh, well I was gonna have Carrot Top bring Dinky out there on Saturday, but if you wanna come down, that would be great. Dinky really loves the fair!" 
"Yeah, count me in!" Said Scootaloo. She was currently halfway in the kitchen window, munching on a muffin that was now missing from the tray that Ditzy had set out.
"Scoots?"
"Oh, sorry, I should've asked before I took a muffin!" Scoots said. Buck and Ditzy looked at Scoots, then at each other, then back to Scoots. Buck's hands fell away from Ditzy.
"...Scoots, we're on the second floor. How are you doin' that?" 
"Huh? Oh, like, barely. Can you open the screen door so I can come in?" Buck ran around the counter and out to the patio, where he saw Scoots standing on a hanging pipe under the kitchen window.
"Why'd you climb up here?" Buck said, squinting. 
"Parkour!" Scoots leapt from her perch into Buck's arms, wrapping her legs around his waist as he carried her inside.
"You crazy purple-haired drop bear!" Buck laughed. He hauled Scoots back into his apartment, then dropped her onto the couch when he saw Ditzy scowling. "What're you doin' here, Scoots?"
"I wanted to see if you were coming to game night! Without Adagio, we need to figure out what we're gonna do for O&O, you know?" 
"Right, right. Well, I'm about ready to go. Hey, Ditzy, are the muffins cooled?" Buck said, then failed to catch a plastic bag filled with muffins. It bounced off his chest and flopped into Scoots' lap.
"Good to go, Buck!" Ditzy said.
"No, but seriously, can I come with you guys to the Ren Faire? I wanna do medieval stuff, like eating turkey legs and trying to not get the plague, or whatever!" Scoots said.
"I mean, sure! We can make a whole day out of it, we can get Sunburst along, and we can dress up, and take Dinky to all the cool stalls and stuff!" 
"Yeah, bet!"
"Buck? I'm going to close my stall around 4ish on Friday. Would you maybe want to walk around and do Faire stuff with me after that?" Ditzy said, crossing her hands in front of her lap. "You know, just me and you?" 
"Oh, well, I wouldn't wanna leave Dinky alone--"
"That's okay! I can watch her while you two go smooch!" Scoots hooked a thumb at her chest. 
Buck saw a look of horror come screeching across Ditzy's face at the very idea.
"You and Sunburst can look after her together. Sound good?" Buck said. When Scoots nodded, Ditzy let out a sigh of relief. "It's settled, then. Well, I'll see you later, Muffin." Buck said, kissing Ditzy's cheek.
"Pfft, Muffin!? Are you seriously callin' her that, Buck!?"  
"What? Ditzy's sweet, she's warm, she looks great no matter how she's dressed up, she smells nice and everything's better when she's around!" Buck said, counting on his fingers. "Like a muffin. Is that--is that nickname alright with you, Ditzy?"
Ditzy's blush had staged a bloody coup over her higher brain functions. In that moment, all she could do was nod rapidly with a big goofy smile on her face. 
"Okay! Well, will I see you tonight? I'm gonna have Dinky over, 'cause she's been having trouble with her Lit homework, but I was gonna have her in bed by seven."
"I won't be off until nine..." 
"Okay, well, I'm sleepin' in tomorrow, so if you want to hang out, you know, you're always welcome."
"I've gotta be up early tomorrow." Ditzy said, her smile lost somewhere.
"Alright. I'll see you latter, Muffin." Buck kissed Ditzy's hands and smiled, and then he was off.
Ditzy had never been serenaded like that before, and she'd never been held with such tender care. Buck was treating her like they were high school sweethearts going steady. Not once had he pinched her butt or even tried to touch her chest. He was being gentle and chaste instead of the "sex fiend" that Adagio said he was.
Ditzy crossed her arms under her chest and swayed the way that Buck had swayed her. Buck's eyes had been gentle and overflowing with a love that she had been staring into his back for what felt like ages. She loved it when he looked at her like that.
But she desperately wanted the hungry look that he always gave to Adagio.





Around the same time that Buck was singing to Ditzy Doo in his kitchen, Sunburst was bringing a cup of steaming coffee to Starlight. It was around three-ish, which meant she would start complaining about a caffeine headache in about 15 minutes if she didn't get her fix.
Starlight took the coffee without even looking up, but beckoned with her index finger, then kissed Sunburst on the cheek when he stooped down. 
"You need rest." Sunburst said.
"I can rest when I'm dead. I need to figure out what we're going to do next." Starlight said. 
At some point during the week, she had purchased a second cork board and set it up right next to the first. The old one featured what could easily be interpreted as a shipping grid of Buck's interpersonal relationships. The other had a shockingly good illustration of the powered up form of Chrysalis pinned over a map of the area around Canterlot, specifically in the Everfree Mountain Range. 
"I need to work on something, since you told me to leave Buck alone instead of teaching him magic." Starlight said. 
"Yes, and I was right. Buck may seem fine, but that's only because he's good at hiding his trauma, like someone else I know. He needs a break from magic and monsters and equestrian super villains."
"Hmph. With his magic, he's got a target painted on his back. The longer we leave him alone, the more danger he's in; didn't you say that? He needs to learn magic, otherwise he's a ticking time bomb. Either he gets too excited and blows himself up, or some other opportunist from a parallel dimension tries to take advantage of him. No offense, Sunburst, but I'm sick of dealing with him. I'm sick of looking at him on my wall, and I'm sick of thinking about him!"
"Are you sure you're not just guilty for what you said after the Boardwalk?"
"What, you mean the truth?" Starlight spat. Sunburst sighed and looked down at Starlight's notes. She appeared to be writing bullet point questions about changelings.
"We should both take a break, Starlight. We could take a week; go to the zoo, maybe, or we could go to that big cabin my Mom has up near Camp Everfree. Doesn't that sound nice? A little weekend getaway, just the two of us." Sunburst slid his arms around Starlight's shoulders and felt her relax just the slightest bit. "Maybe we could call the Pillars and have them send someone down to chase up Chrysalis. Don't you think you deserve a break?" Sunburst said. Starlight took a sip which gradually turned into a horrifying emptying of the steaming mug. 
"No. Chrysalis came after Buck. She's our responsibility. He won't listen to me, so you need to be here when I try to teach him the first thing about magic. The Pillars are spread thin as it is; they just don't have the bodies to send down here. And to be honest, Sunburst...I need a win. I can't just let monsters run roughshod over our territory."
"Are you still talking about Adagio?"
"She's still a threat, even if she's being pacified by a bribe."
"You need to stop obsessing over her."
"It's only a matter of time before she comes after Buck again! Don't you get it, Sunburst? He's the closest thing we've got to an ace in the hole, and he's just sitting around, doing NOTHING while forces beyond his or anyone else's control are plotting to use him for who knows what!? Adagio is arguably worse than Chrysalis, because she can worm her way into his heart and pull on the strings! Chrysalis is just an old predator, but Adagio is, well, she's diabolical!"
"She's just after a meal."
"Then she's got you fooled too. You're smarter than this, Sunburst." Starlight said. She still wasn't looking at him, but she was starting to jitter in Sunbursts' arms. 
"You need to rest."
"Evil doesn't rest."
"Just take a nap. One nap; that's all I'm asking, then you can get back to tearing your hair out about my best friend's dating life."
"Are you making fun of me?"
"No, Starlight, I'm taking care of you. Will you let me?"
"If I nap, will you look into the Chrysalis thing? People have been disappearing in little isolated spots in the Everfree Forest, and it has to be Chrysalis. There's also been a few reports of people acting strangely in town. 
"It's Canterlot. Everyone acts strangely in town."
"Not like that. I mean people no-call no-showing for work at a lot of businesses around the city. Some lady said her husband disappeared for days and then came home acting like nothing happened. And then there's reports of people acting vacant...sort of catatonic, and then suddenly snapping out of it."
"You think it's a changeling invasion? So soon?"
"Well, what else could it be?" Starlight said. Sunburst sighed and decided to humor her, hoping desperately that he could coax her into taking his bed if they made something like progress.
"It doesn't make sense for changelings. Think about it; we don't know exactly how long it took, but according to Harshwhinny's testimony, she was captured for a whole month before we found the nest. It took Chrysalis a month to stalk Buck and Adagio and then spring the trap. There were a lot of malformed eggs and changelings, but they couldn't have maintained a solid human form if they tried. And besides, the Everfree Mountain range is miles away; she couldn't possibly fly fast enough to get in and out of Canterlot, kidnap people and send changelings in their place, even if they had perfect disguises. It's only been a week!"
"Well, I'm not ruling her out. She was crafty enough to get away from me."
"How about you get some sleep, while I research possible creatures that could cause disappearances and odd behavior. Sound good?" 
"...fine." Starlight let Sunburst bring her to his bed. She was already in pyjamas, which Sunburst noticed she had been wearing for a couple of days at this point. She was still wired from the coffee, so Sunburst held her and cuddled until she finally conked out. 
Starlight was hiding something. He wasn't sure what, but she never got this jittery and this bullheaded unless she had done something wrong, and whatever it was must have been important. 
"It's just a feeling. You need to trust Starlight. She's earned that much." Sunburst said, in the bathroom mirror.
With one pressing matter dealt with, Sunburst moved on to another. Buck and his mother would occasionally make fun, but Sunburst took the subject of grooming his facial hair with great seriousness. He snipped with his tiny, expensive scissors as if he were tending to an ancient bonsai, and was just starting to get into the flow of things when he stopped short. 
He pinched at the goatee hairs he'd left in the sink, then raised them to his eyes. 
There were a few strands of grey. 
Maybe this was getting to be a bit too much for him as well. 	





Twenty minutes later, Buck and Scootaloo were sitting around Sunbursts' table.
"Where's Quibble?" Scoots said.
"Oh, he's not coming. I called him and told him the game's off until we sort things out."
"Oookay, why didn't you just call me then, Sunburst? I could've been chilling out with Ditzy!" Buck said. 
"What we need to discuss is more important." Sunburst said, taking a seat.
"This is gonna to be a whole hell of a lot, isn't it?" Buck sighed.
"I'm afraid so, Buck." Sunburst said. His smile was apologetic as he patted Buck's shoulder. "I'm going to try and keep it simple, so you can get on with your day and mull it over. I invited Scoots, because even if I tell her not to listen, she'll just eavesdrop anyway."
"What!? No I wouldn't!"
"Scoots, you came in through my screen door today." Buck said.
"Okay, but I wasn't trying to listen in! That was a nice song you sang to Ditzy, by the way."
"Thanks."
"How are you and Ditzy, Buck? You guys hooked up right after everything that happened, right?"
"Yeah. Even though we haven't gotten to go on a date yet, it feels good, you know? Feels right, and she's...incredible, man. She's amazing." 
"That's good to hear. Has Adagio tried to contact you at all?"
"No. I think she sent for Scoots to bring her some treats, but she hasn't tried to come at me, or anything."
"That's good. Buck, I've been trying to give you a break, because I can only imagine what you're going through right now." Sunburst watched as Buck slumped in his seat. 
"I'm a monster, Sunburst. I don't remember a lot about Sunday, but I remember getting heated when Adagio showed up. Felt like I was having a nervous breakdown, like the kind of feelin' I used to get when I had night terrors as a kid. Like somethin' was in my head, trying to claw its way out. I...turned into somethin', didn't I?" Buck said.
"Not exactly. Starlight told me you were starting to turn when she knocked you out."
"Starlight was there?"
"You don't remember?"
"I was out for most of it."
"Right, well, Starlight and Ditzy Doo fought off the changeling queen; Chrysalis, and then the rest of us got in on it."
"Yeah, Scoots told me about the fight."
"Buck, I want you to know that I'm behind you on this. You're a special case, and we can only guess at what it means that you're generating magic. Magic is...a tricky business. It's not uniform, it has its own rules, many of which can only be guessed at, and no one totally understands how it works in this world. What's important right now is teaching you to get a hold on it, and then figure things out as we go. I've asked to get you some tools to suppress your magic, so at least there won't be any leakage."
"What do you mean you asked? Who did you ask?"
"And that's the other part. Me and Starlight are monster hunters."
"I got that part."
"We're specifically the monster hunters that have been designated to the general Everfree region. What that means is that Starlight and I identify magical threats and we deal with them. Usually that means banishing creatures or capturing them and sending them away, but sometimes it means killing them."
"...who do you work for?"
"The Pillars Organization; a non-profit company that has been working to contain Equestrian threats for countless generations. They were completely decommissioned until just recently, when they came under new management in the wake of the Rainbooms becoming sort of magical...celebrities." 
"Ooh, mysterious! Do you guys get secret badges and stuff?" Scoots said.
"Not really. We're not government or anything like that. The company has connections in some very high places, and we exist to mop up things that can't be easily explained away. It's not nearly as much as you'd think; magical phenomenon was ridiculously rare until the Rainbooms. Some of them are even members!"
"Which ones?" Buck said.
"That's classified." Said Starlight, grumbling her way out of Sunbursts' room. 
"The point is, Starlight and I get paid to protect Canterlot from magical threats. We've also made a habit of studying Equestrian magic in Starlight's case, and Lore and Magical Beasts in my case. We're trying to learn as much about Equestrian magic and the threats contained within so that we can keep Canterlot safe, and further our understanding. Humans don't normally possess Equestrian magic."
"But we can use it, with the right components and training. Or we could just be a magical unicorn that crossed over to cause trouble, like Sunset Shimmer. Or, I guess we could just be born magical like you, Buck." Starlight said. It was the same tone of voice that Buck used when he complained about money. 
"We want to teach you. We want to give you just enough understanding to be able to defend yourself and an offer to join the Pillars if you want to. You could be a great help to us, and to the world. Just letting us study your magic in action could--"
"Okay, No. I'm not joining the men in black, Sunburst. I don't want to get paid to fight monsters; why the hell would anybody want to do that?" Buck said, cocking an eyebrow.
"So that they can save helpless people like you, Buck. The strong should defend the weak." Starlight said. 
"I wanna join! I wanna fight monsters and do magic and stuff!" Scoots said. 
"...I don't know, Scoots." Sunburst said.
"What? Why not?"
"There are two ways to get into The Pillars." Starlight said, yawning and holding up two fingers. "Either you display magical potential, or you are close with someone who can vouch for you. Buck is a shoe-in for a lot of reasons, the main one being that he's an arcane fire hose. You're, uhhh..."
"...Not needed. Got it." Scoots said, staring at the table.
"I can put in a good word for you, Scoots. I'd honestly feel better out in the wilds with you at my side. You did great on Saturday; I hope you know." Sunburst said, smiling. His hand on Scoots' shoulder seemed to cheer her up a bit, but the smile was bitter at best.
"But I will learn magic, 'cause I'm sick of bein' knocked around by magical weirdo freakazoids, and I don't want to transform into somethin' awful. I don't wanna be a liability that y'all have to rescue over and over again." Buck said. 
"Finally, we're on the same page!" Starlight said.
"I don't remember askin' you a damn thing." Buck said, fixing Starlight with a glare. 
"I thought you'd be grateful, considering the fact that I saved your life."
"You know what? That's fair. Lemme be more diplomatic. Thanks for protectin' me from that freaky bug bitch, Starlight." Buck said. 
"You're welcome."
"But I need you to know that I don't like your damn attitude. You almost got me captured by that same freaky bug bitch."
"What!?"
"If you hadn't've dropped that fuckin' anvil on me on Saturday, then that--what's her name? Chryssi? She wouldn't have had the balls to come after me, because I'd be with Adagio. But because we were separated, we were both easy targets."
"You didn't need Adagio protecting you; the rest of us handled the situation fine." Starlight crossed her arms and stood her ground.
"Is that right? 'cause from what I heard, you wouldn't've been able to fight that thing at all if Adagio didn't body her first." 
"None of this would have happened if you didn't get involved with a soul-sucking monster from another dimension!" Starlight exploded.
"STOP CALLING HER THAT!" Buck shouted.
"Buck...your eyes." Scoots said. 
Buck's fists were shaking, and his eyes blinkered red before he caught his breath.
"What is your actual problem with Adagio, Starlight? Is it that she's got better hair than you? You can tell me." Buck deadpanned.
"My problem is that she's using you!"
"Isn't that what you're tryin' to do?" Buck said. Starlight balked as Buck's tense expression cooled into a dark and transactional calm. Scoots looked over and saw a pained look on Sunbursts' face. 
"Buck, hang on a minute." Sunburst said.
"Naw, let's get all'a this out in the open. Starlight, you say that Adagio is just usin' me for my magic, but you're tryin' to do the same thing, yeah?"
"It's completely different!"
"Yeah, I guess so. Adagio needs magic to live, and you wanna use it to fight monsters. Either way, I'm just a battery."
"It's not like that, Buck." Sunburst said.
"Oh, it's not!? Then why does your girlfriend keep lookin' at me like I'm a hundred dollar bill on a string? Here's the deal, boys and girls. I'mma learn magic, but not for you, Starlight, and not for Adagio, but for me. Before anything else, it's for me; you got that? I've had about enough of bein' used, so this is gonna happen on my terms or not at fuckin' all, you understand?"
"...Understood. I guess I underestimated you, Buck. I was wrong to think that you were helpless." Starlight managed. It looked like a labor.
"I was caught off guard on Sunday. Can you blame me, with all the shit that was goin' down?"  
"Not at all. It's easy to get overwhelmed when you're dealing with monsters and magic and relationship drama. But I remember Saturday; you handled yourself well." Sunburst said.
"I did my best. Wish I could'a had more of a positive impact." Buck shrugged. 
"You made a call with the curry, and it didn't really work out. But you were thinking ahead on the problem, and that shows that you've got a good head for this, even if your ideas are...a bit out there." Starlight said.
"More importantly, you tried to deescalate things between Starlight and Adagio, and you kept everyone focused when we were at the aquarium. That shows leadership qualities!" Sunburst said.
"Eh, well, I used to defuse arguments between the Rainbooms all the time. And I work the counter at Sugar Cube Corner. Dealin' with ornery folks just comes with the territory. That's nothin' special." Buck said. 
"It's a skill, Buck. Some people pay a lot of money to get degrees that say they can do that." Sunburst coughed. 
"If you actually tried, you could really make a difference out there. That's what we're trying to say."
"And what if I don't wanna go risk my life, huh? I've got a stable job that I sorta tolerate, a woman that I love, and good friends. Why the hell should I need more than that?" Buck said. 
"Buck, I know this is all scary, but if you wanted to sell sweets for the rest of your life, you wouldn't have gone to school for art. I know you want to be more than this. It's one of the reasons you're so depressed." Sunburst said it frankly, like he was reading a laundry list, and for a moment, both Scootaloo and Starlight thought that Buck was going to throw a punch.
"I'm a lover, not a fighter. Besides, my Mom would never forgive me if I got eaten by a Grue, or somethin'." Buck said, finally. Starlight threw her hands up.
"I give up. I give up! Sunburst, just teach him the basics of magic so we don't have to keep talking about this!" The door to Sunbursts' bedroom slammed as Starlight left the conversation.
"...so do you get paid, by, like how many monsters you bag, or what?" Scoots said.
"No, we're on a salary. Look, you guys, I should go take care of Starlight. She's been running herself ragged, and I've got to make sure she gets a proper rest. When do you want to start learning magic, Buck?" Sunburst said. 
"Well, uh, I guess since my Tuesday nights're open now, we can start next week." Buck said.
"Me too! I wanna learn how to shoot lasers and fly and stuff!" Scoots said. 
"Oh yeah, Sunburst, do you wanna come to the Ren Faire with us on Friday?" 
"The faire is in town? Is it already that time of year?" Sunburst rose with sudden excitement, tossing papers off his desk until he unearthed a calendar. "Yes, I'll meet you there on Friday, absolutely! This is exactly what we need! I can get my old cloak and hat, and Starlight can just spend a day trinket hunting and participating in the games, and it'll be great! Haha, why am I yelling!?" Sunburst said. Buck smiled at Scoots, who covered her mouth and snickered. 
"Alright, brother. If there's nothin' else, I'm gonna head out. Bring it in." Buck said, hugging Sunburst tight. 
"See you tomorrow for groceries?" Sunburst said.
"You know it."





Time spent in rest is essential for all living creatures, but for an immortal like Adagio Dazzle, it was more like a vacation. Having long ago freed herself from the fear of missing out, Adagio had at times passed generations in peaceful sleep. She recalled spending a sizable chunk of the late 1700's living in a cottage in Austria, growing pears and teaching brave young girls from a nearby village how to poison their husbands when the time inevitably came. When Sonata and Aria had come to find her, she looked like a wizened spinster whose face was frozen in a smile.
"That was the life. How did I trade a life of pears and cunnilingus for this nonsense? Maybe I should get myself a little pear tree. Or a boat." 
At current, Adagio was watching the sun set over Canterlot from the wide window of her suite. Her belly didn't rumble today, which was a nice change of pace. 
For the first time this month, she was thinking clearly. 
She was thinking so clearly that she was simultaneously furious and embarrassed over what she was about to do. 
The way Buck had looked at her on Sunday night was unmistakable. He had seen her, and her presence alone was enough to drive him to blind fury. 
He hated her, so much so that on sight he had lost control of his emotions. He was beginning to change into something that Adagio didn't recognize. 
Not only had Adagio been found out by that cretin Starlight Glimmer, her very proximity to Buck had drawn the attention of the mad queen of the changelings. She was ruining his life, and most pressingly, Buck was likely unwilling to share even a morsel of his feelings for her.
Does he still care, or has he thrown himself at the feet of his vanilla housewife of a neighbor? Adagio hadn't checked, more out of fear than respect. And now she had to admit that even in her ancient wiles and wisdom, she had no idea how to proceed. Give her toothy maws and magical menaces any day; the true terror of this world was navigating the emotions of men.
It had always been so easy to move humans around on the board. All Adagio had to do was get a little taste of their emotion and it was like reading their minds. She could pluck and pull and play them as a harpist and get them dancing to whatever tune she desired. And yet Adagio felt a deep sour well puckering in her stomach as she realized that she simply didn't want to pull Buck on a string.
She wanted him to want her. She had gotten used to him, and now the absence of him in her diet made her feel malnourished. She had discovered a delicacy that could clear her skin and keep her young, and it had suddenly realized its worth and taken off running. 
Adagio knew exactly one person to call on for matters like this, and that was the reason her back was to the phone on her kitchen counter. It was an archaism of a very recent age; a plastic see-through telephone with a dock, attached to the wall with a chord. It was an earnest gift; an attempt to keep Adagio current in an age of rapidly evolving technology, but it had been left in the dust with parachute pants and Adagio's precious halter neck crop tops. 
Adagio only ever used the phone to to call one number, the number of the person that had given it to her. 
After sighing, groaning, pacing for a while, drinking half a bottle of wine, screaming into a pillow and masturbating for nearly an hour, Adagio finally managed to exert the titanic feat of willpower required to pick up the phone and dial the number. If she was very lucky or very misfortunate, the line would be dead. She knew better than to expect that, of course.
"You've reached the office of Sonata Dusk, CEO of Red Pool Records! How may I direct this call?" Said a voice that was paradoxically both timid and magisterial. 
"Directly to Sonata herself, if you wouldn't mind."
"Well...Miss Sonata is currently in a meeting. Could I take a message?"
"You certainly may not. Tell her that her sister is calling."
"Um, her sister? Which one, may I ask?"
"Does it matter?"
"It might? While we do have this number logged as an emergency contact, it's filed as "Bestie-Best Sister", and I frankly don't know which one that is."
"Just...! Tell Sonata that Adagio needs to speak with her. It's urgent; she'll understand."
"Please hold." 
Adagio was made to suffer through the first twelve bars of an obnoxiously catchy Sapphire Shores tune before the phone clicked. She heard some hasty, apologetic whispers that suddenly cut off. 
"Hiya sis!" Chirped an unmistakable voice.
"Hello, Sonata."
"It's been like a million years since you called!"
"It's only been a couple of months."
"Actually, it's been about six years." Said the voice of what Adagio assumed was Sonata's secretary.
"Shush! Well, what's goin' on, Dagi? I saw you on the news! You're famous again!" Sonata giggled.
"Yes, well, if I'm being perfectly honest, I've been having a rotten time."
"Oh no!"
"Which is why I'm calling you."
"Aww, Sis! I can be over in Canterlot in a day if you need me! We can go have a spa day and stay up late and watch soap operas, and I can make us some fruit punch and--"
"No, no, that's not what I mean. I'm sure you've got plenty of work on your hands what with you being...what did your secretary say you were, now?"
"She's my assistant, and I would be just lost without her, wouldn't I Coco?" Sonata's voice drifted a bit as she cooed, but then it returned just as quickly. "And I'm actually the CEO of a major record label now, Sis!"
"Oh? How did that happen?"
"Heehee! A girl has her ways!" Adagio was caught by a cold wave of nostalgic horror as she flashed through several of the ways that Sonata had used through the years to get what she wanted. It brought a genuine smile to her face.
"I see. Well, congratulations, Sonata. It's good to hear that you're doing well. I know its out of character for me, but I need...your advice." The statement hissed through Adagio's gritted teeth like a car with a burst tire being pushed uphill. 
"...for realisies? Are you feeling sick?" Adagio could imagine Sonata's open eyed befuddlement.
"It's boy trouble, Sonata."
"Nooo! That big purple dummy on the boardwalk is actually your boyfriend!? I thought you were just being funny! Congrats, sis, I knew you could have fun if you put your mind to it!" Sonata cheered. Adagio slapped her forehead.
"It's not about fun, Sonata, it's about what he's hiding."
"Huh?"
"That man is packing a massive--"
"Dick?"
"--store of equestrian magic! He's a well of magical power, just waiting to be tapped, right at our fingertips! For some reason, his magic is tied directly to physical intimacy, so I've been--"
"Oh, sis, you haven't been getting jiggy with a human boy!?"
"I have been gradually cozying up to him and keeping him close, trying to figure out the nature of his powers and how exactly to make use of them."
"~I'm not hearing a nooo~"
"YES! Yes, I've been having sex with him, is that what you wanted to hear!?"
"Omigosh, sis! How long has it been!?"
"That's none of your business, Sonata." Adagio hissed.
"Well, is it good? He looks like a big dumb dumb, but I betcha he can last!"
"Don't make me come over there!"
"But I'd love it if you came to visit, sis! I can show you the studio and stuff!"
"Sonata, focus! Buck could be the break we've been looking for all this time! If we could learn to properly harness his magic, we could open a portal large and stable enough to go home!"
"Awww you even know his name! Buck and Dagi sittin' in a tree! P-H-U-K...uh...I-N-G!"
"That's not even close to how you spell that." Adagio said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "It really doesn't matter, since he won't want to come within ten feet of me, now." 
"Oof. What'd you do to him, sis? Something I would do?"
"Heavens, no! He just happens to have an annoying little nit of a watchdog who blew the whistle on my scheme."
"Why would they blow a whistle?" It was a testament to Adagio's will that she didn't stab the phone with a kitchen knife.
"The point is; Buck knows that I was using him to feed, and he now knows about the store of magic inside of him."
"Big oof!" 
"I've been giving him some distance, but it's only a matter of time before he learns enough about magic to start gaining his own power. If I don't start influencing him again, he could become a major threat. I would much rather have him as a minion, but that seems off the table for now."
"So he knows you're a big meanie; so what? He's a boy. Just, I dunno, give him a shiny toy or pet him up a bunch!"
"He's not that vapid, Sonata. He's a sensitive man."
"Ooooh! I bet he gives you massages, doesn't he? The sweet ones are usually like that." 
"...yes, he has, as a matter of fact."
"But he saw you for you, and now he's not so sweet, huh?"
"I wouldn't exactly put it like that."
"Well, sis, he's a boy, and boys're simple. You've been hanging around him, so you probably know what he likes. Even if you made him cry, or whatever, he'll go back to being a big, sweet dummy dumb if you just say you're sorry and, like, I dunno, suck his dick, or something!"
"I will not apologize, under any circumstances. And there's another wrinkle; his hovering cow of a neighbor very likely has him in her clutches right now. She bribes him with baked goods and...maid service, I think."
"Biggie-big oof!"
"She's a slow, cowardly thing, but she looks irritatingly cute in a skirt, and so Buck is attached to her by the hip, I'm sure."
"So why not just charm them, or whatevs?"
"You're thinking too short term, Sonata. I need to get close to him and spend more time studying his magic. I think I've only scratched the surface of what he can do."
"You mean in the bedroom?"
"Could you take this seriously for one second, Sonata?"
"Why do you even care? So what if he's got magic, we don't even have our amulets to take it!"
"Yes, but he could be convinced to open a portal for us, with enough time and grooming. Don't you see? This could be our ticket home! Finally!"
"...but what if I don't wanna go home, Adagio?"
"Excuse me!?"
"It's just...I've got a good thing going here!"
"I can't believe what I'm hearing. You of all people should know by now how rotten this world is!"
"But it's not all bad, sis! Yeah, humans are stinky, but with a little work, I've done pretty good for myself! You could too if you would stop bumming around in Canterlot!"
"...you should watch what you say to me, little sister. Do I need to pay you a visit and remind you who the leader of the Dazzlings is?"
"Well...the Dazzlings broke up, sis." Sonata said. All the cheer had bled out of her voice. Adagio felt as a galleon that had run out of wind all at once, trapped in a sea gone horribly silent.
"I am on the cusp of a new power, possibly greater than any we've seen before. If I can harness it, there will be no reason left for Aria to rot in an oubliette or for you to do...whatever it is you do over there!"
"I sorta...find people that are good at singing, and then tell a bunch of people in suits that I'm going to spend money on them."
"The point is, if I can just get Buck wrapped around my finger again, we'll be one step closer to escaping this pitiful realm. If you want to be left behind, that's fine by me, but you could, at the very least, assist me in this endeavor that I've spent hundreds of years working toward!" Adagio said. It was a whisper that could have easily leapt up into a shriek at any moment. She took a breath and counted.
"Well, dagi. If you really want him that bad, you might have to level with him, at least a little bit."
"Level with him?"
"Yeah! Try to talk to him and work it out. He obviously has to like you, or you wouldn't be so gung ho about getting him back without using magic, or whatevs. So just...I dunno, try something unexpected! And if it doesn't work, he's still just a dumb boy. Kidnap him or something."
"Your advice is noted, Sonata. Thank you for picking up." Adagio sighed, defeated. 
"Do you like him too, sis?"
"...He's very sweet. He reminds me of you, sometimes."
"Will you call me again and tell me how it goes?"
"...yes, Sonata, I will. Thank you. I think I needed a kick in the pants."
"What!? I wouldn't kick you! Uh, not on purpose, anyway!"
"Take care, Sonata." 
Adagio hung up, and wondered if she had actually gained anything from the conversation. It was always hard to tell, with Sonata. Her eyes roamed over to her coffee table, where the bag of magically charged gems were sitting.
A bargain. When was the last time Adagio Dazzle had to bargain, or try this hard? 
Far too long, perhaps.





"You know what I think, Scoots?"
"What's that?"
"I think Wednesday is the actual worst day of the week."
It was currently Wednesday, for the record, and it was around 4ish, which meant that Ditzy Doo had gone home and Mr. Cake was on kitchen duty, which mostly involved him looking after his own kids upstairs with the stairwell door open.
The ceiling fan in Sugar Cube corner had been fighting a wobbly but pointless battle with the encroaching summer heat, and as Buck stood on a ladder tightening the mounting bolts in the ceiling, he had begun to feel how he had before Adagio had come into his life. Vaguely exhausted and wondering if he'd be less bored as an electrician.
"No way! Monday's gotta be way worse!" Scoots said from where she was cleaning up the remains of the lunch rush.
"Hear me out, hear me out. I know Garfield's got everybody fooled, but people with normal sleeping schedules go into work refreshed on Monday. They're ready to wade through all the bullshit waiting for them at work. But Wednesday? Nobody has fun on Wednesday. You're tired from whatever happened to you on Monday and Tuesday, and you have no idea what's coming for you at the back half of the week. Nobody wants to talk about Wednesday, either. Only the weirdest people are out and about on Wednesday. Like, imagine if Iron Man's AI was named Wednesday instead of Friday. Everybody likes Friday! You power through your work shit and you rush into the weekend. You know what you get for getting through Wednesday?" 
"What?"
"Fuckin' Thursday, Scoots. Thursday. If Friday is the grape in the fruit salad of the week, then Thursday is the honeydew." Buck said, squinting at a tape measure between the ceiling and the fan blades.
"Wait, then what's Wednesday?"
"Fuckin' cantaloupe, I guess." Buck said, descending the ladder.
"...Did you come to work high?"
"Naw, but that's a great idea. Talking to me when I'm high is like sitting between Douglas Adams and Weird Al Yankovic in an echo chamber."
"What?"
"S'like a parody of absurdity. You ever do edibles, Scoots?"
"Like, once. Brownies. Like, like a whole bunch. It took me days to get off the couch; I missed practice 'cause of that, and now brownies are my mortal enemy."
"Not pot?" 
"Well, pot doesn't make you fat."
"I mean, I've never done CBD and didn't immediately get hungry."
"Huh."
"You wanna get fucked up on gummies and watch Paprika sometime?"
"What, like the spice?"
In response, Buck gasped like he was just given an extremely early Christmas gift.

*DING DONG*

A familiar woman with wide hips and bright orange curly hair strolled into Sugar Cube Corner, and to Buck's relief after scrambling behind the counter, it turned out to not be Adagio. At her side was a less familiar woman with light blue skin and hair that reminded Buck of toothpaste. At her other side she was carrying a kennel that contained a shivering cat.
Scootaloo was also shivering suddenly as she grabbed the ladder.
The first notes of "Tied Together With A Smile" dragged Buck into his personal food service purgatory as the couple approached the counter.
"Oh, I love this song! Eh, well, I used to, I guess." Said the blue and white haired woman.
"'bout the best review that Taylor Swift is gonna get in here. Hey, Carrot Top! Ditzy's been tryin' to call you about babysittin' Dinky!"
"Hm? I'm sorry, do I know you?" Said Carrot Top.
"Well, barely. It's Buck. I'm the guy that watches Dinky when you're not available? I'm datin' Ditzy Doo?" Buck said. 
"Oh, you're friends! I'm Minuette!" The woman grabbed Buck's hand across the counter and treated him with both a firm handshake and a smile that was bright enough to hurt Buck's eyes. Her hands were like a dentists'; surprisingly cold.
"I dunno about all that."
"Oh, hey, you're the guy from the Boardwalk--"
"With the tentacles and the fire axe, yeah, that's me."
"Wait, weren't you dating that siren lady?"
"I was. Is there anything I can get for you guys?" 
"Go ahead. It's my treat." Carrot Top droned. 
"Thanks, sweetie." Minuette beamed and kissed Carrot Top on the cheek, then scanned the display case. "Is...hm...is there anything here that won't damage my teeth?"
"I think some of the cake pops are sugar free?" Scoots chimed in, having put the ladder away. 
"Oh! I'll have two of those!" Minuette said.
"Oh, thanks for that. We can't freakin' give these things away!" Buck smiled and bagged up the treats.
"Aww...what a cute kitty! Does she do pets?" Scoots said. She was squatted down next to the kennel.
"Well, normally I'd say yes, but she's been pretty anxious lately." Carrot Top said. Scoots put her hand up to the bars, and the little calico purred. "Huh." Carrot Top let the cat out and picked her up, and she immediately began nuzzling against Scoots' outstretched finger.
"Seems fine to me!" Scoots said. She shuddered, then rubbed her arm. 
"Hmm...well, that's odd. I was going to take her to a vet to get her looked at, but now she's all cuddly." 
"We should go, anyway! Better safe than sorry, right?" Said Minuette. The cat hissed.
"You're right, we should get going." Said Carrot Top. "Besides, you've been worried sick over her. Once we know that she's fine, I'll get to see your pretty smile some more." Carrot Top said. Minuette blushed and nodded. She took Carrot Top's hand and headed for the door.
"Hey, wait! Carrot Top, are you gonna look after Dinky on the weekend or no?" Buck said.
"I don't think so. I'm planning a little trip up to the mountains with my girlfriend, and I wouldn't miss it for all the sweet little kids in the world." Said Carrot Top. The door jingled. 
Buck stepped to the middle of the floor, scratching his head.
"Did that seem weird to you, Scoots?"
"What, all the mushy stuff? They're like you and Ditzy, but with less singing!" Scoots said, elbowing Buck.
"Well, there might be singing. I think I recognized Minuette from karaoke at Donut Joes'."
"Oh yeah, you took Adagio there! Wasn't that a Wednesday?" Scoots said, walking back over to the counter. 
"...why do you remember that?" Just as Buck followed Scoots around the counter, there was a calamitous crash right behind him. The ceiling fan, which he had just finished de-wobbling decided to punch its card early, and also attempt to punch a hole in the floor.
"God fucking damn it, why is it always ceiling fans!?" Buck shouted.





One insurance claim, one lengthy clean up process and one sunset later, Buck was sitting on the floor in front of his coffee table with Dinky Doo next to him. Before them was a very thin book with a picture of a young, preppy lad in a blazer, looking excitedly at a bunch of paper clippings falling from the sky. The title said; "The Boy Who Loved Words."

((https://soundcloud.com/user-172575235/the-boy-who-loved-words-excerpt))

"There are, in this world, people who are born collectors. Some collect shells or stones. Others, feathers. Some have even been known to collect tiny teaspoons. Selig was a collector of words. Selig loved everything about words—the sound of them in his ears (tintinnabulating!), the taste of them on his tongue (tantalizing!), the thought of them when they percolated in his brain (stirring!), and, most especially, the feel of them when they moved his heart (Mama!)." Buck read.
There was an open notebook next to Dinky, with a column of words under the designation 'Vocabulary Words'. Dinky put in a great deal of effort to write the word 'stirring'.
"Whenever Selig heard a word he liked, he’d shout it loud, jot it down on a slip of paper, then stuff it into his pocket to save. Such a collector! Selig’s pockets positively brimmed with words. He stuffed new ones inside his shirt, down his socks, up his sleeves, under his cap. "
"Woooow!" Dinky said. "Words can go in your pockets!?"
"Yeah, I like to keep some choice words in my back pocket. Honestly, this story kinda sounds like my biography." Buck said. 
"Whassa bye-bography?"
"A biography is...it's like a book that someone writes about your life. You know how you go on wacky adventures in Center Park with your Mom and Me, and we find shiny rocks and stuff?"
"Yeah! That's super fun!"
"Well, imagine if someone wrote a story about all the times you did that, and the kind of stuff you learn in school!"
"That sounds sorta spooky. How...how do they know all that stuff, Buck?" 
"That's why they call them ghoooost writers, oooooo~!" Buck said, wiggling his fingers.
"...huh?" 
"Nevermind. Didja pick the vocab words you wanna look up from the story?"
"Yep!" Dinky held up the paper, which had something like thirteen words on it.
"Oh, uh, you only need three, I think, Dinky."
"But I like a buncha those words!"
"Okay, fair. Here, let me...let me help you spell these."
"Okay, Buck!" Dinky said, as Buck lifted the pencil. 
The door clicked open, and Ditzy Doo walked in. Her hair was in a state of general disarray, she had a pair of flat nose pliers in one hand, and the other hand was behind her back.
"There's my little angel!" Ditzy said.
"Mama!" Dinky was in Ditzy's free arm within seconds. "Mama, mama, did you know that there's um, there's writers that're ghosts!?" 
"Oh? Is that so?" Ditzy said, smirking at Buck. 
"Uh huh, uh huh! And, and you can keep words in your pockets!"
"I see! Has Buck been giving you enough words to fill your pockets, sweetie?"
"Yeah!"
"And no swears, or big sass, I hope?" Ditzy said, waddling over to the couch.
"What's a sass?"
"Sass is like the sort of things I say when I miss my nap." Buck said. "Or the sorta thing you'll probably say when you're...I dunno, somewhere in the nine to twelve range. Swears're advanced, prolly thirteen is when you'll start usin' those."
"Oh! I wanna be advance! Can I swear, mama?" Dinky said. Buck sucked in his lips and tried not to smile.
"When you're older. A lot older!" Ditzy said, frowning at Buck. "Guess what, Dinky? Mama finished your helmet!" From behind her back, Ditzy revealed a delightfully accurate yak's horned helmet made of...Buck guessed like cardboard and foam and some shockingly good acrylic paint.
"YAAAY! YAKS SMASH!" Dinky slapped the helmet onto her head and immediately barreled into the nearest object, which coincidentally was Buck, who had gotten up to greet her mother. In a brief calculation, it was decided that Dinky would hit Buck in the stomach with a headbutt and he'd have to tighten his abs and absorb the blow, but Buck seemed to forget that he was bad at math.
"Nice shot, Dinky..." Buck wheezed, holding his crotch.
"Dinky! That's a very mean thing to do! You hurt Buck! What do we say?"
"I thought you said you liked foot ball!" Dinky cheered.
"Hhhhehehh, good one...." Buck said.
"No! Dinky, we say 'I'm sorry, that was a mistake, are you okay?" Ditzy Doo said, removing the helmet. 
"I'm okay, mama!" Dinky said. Ditzy put her hands on her hips. "Oh, um, Buck, are you okay?" 
"s'alright, Dinky. I wasn't usin' 'em." Buck said, recovering at a speed that he found distantly alarming. 
"I'm really sorry..." Dinky looked like she was about to break into tears any second. Buck remembered a story from a couple of weeks ago that involved Dinky kicking another kid in the shin for saying girls couldn't play soccer, and that melted his heart.  Something far off in his head ached and screamed that he needed to make a difference, and so he summoned up as much courage as he could.
"I'm okay, Dinky, I'm okay." Buck said, patting her head. He looked up gravely. "Ditzy...is it alright if I teach her something, right here?"
"...yes, Buck. You can." Ditzy's smile promised exactly one chance after that joke Dinky made, which she probably didn't think up herself. Buck kneeled down in front of Dinky and smiled.
"Dink, it's okay to make mistakes, as long as you admit you did something wrong and try not to do it again. Mistakes aren't something to get mad about, they're something to learn from. We gotta make mistakes to grow; that's just the way people are."
"Even you, Buck?"
"Especially me! Remember how I almost burned the spaghetti and meatballs earlier?"
"No, I was doin' a crayon drawling!"
"Okay, well, the point is; sometimes you make mistakes, and sometimes people get hurt. Do you know what you do  when that happens?"
"Whassat?"
"You figure out how to fix it. Even if you can't, the most important thing is that you try. That's the difference between bein' nice and bein' a big meanie. So the next time somethin' like this happens, what'll you do, Dink?"
"I...say sorry, an'...I figger out out how to fix it."
"And if you can't?"
"I try anyways!"
"Atta girl." Buck said. "You wanna hug?" By the time Buck got his arms halfway open, Dinky was squeezing him. Buck fought his tears to smile at Ditzy whose face was something like what Buck made when he looked up at the night sky. He had surprised her. He decided that he'd really like to keep surprising her like this. Maybe he had something to offer her after all.
It was then that Dinky Doo yawned, and after walking her through the back end of her literature homework, Ditzy lifted her up in her arms. 
"Do you want to hang out for a little bit after you put Dink to bed? I've...I've got some ice cream in the freezer." Buck tried. Ditzy Doo bit her lip and nodded.
"I'll be right back." She said.
And it would have been a wonderful curtain down for the night if it had ended there, with Buck going through the day with only a single thing shattered on the floor and a set of sore balls, but in the week and a half of peace he'd experienced, he'd forgotten something very simple. Things had never and would never be that neat and tidy in his life. 
There was an urgent knock at the door, and as Buck opened it, his smile flipped over to reveal an exhaustion he'd almost forgotten. The most gorgeous woman in the world was standing on the other side. He didn't remember much of Sunday, but he could recall the changeling coming to him just like this but with tears in her eyes, all contrite.
Adagio instead looked like someone who had been waiting for the DMV to open. Her arms were crossed, and her hip was cocked, but her magenta eyes were gentle and cautious as she stared up at Buck.
"Good evening, Buck. Can I come in?" Everything in Buck tensed. He stepped into the hallway and closed his door.
"No, Adagio, I don't think that's a good idea."
"...that's fine. We can speak out here, in this dingy hallway, if that's what you prefer."
"It is."
"Are you doing well, Buck? It's been a little while...I wanted to make sure you had space to recover."
"I'm good, Adagio. Real good, honestly." There was another half to that sentiment that the both of them tried to ignore.
"I'm glad to hear it. Buck...I came by tonight because I wanted to explain things to you."
"Are you sure it's not because you're thirsty?" Buck said. Adagio smiled and reached to paw at Buck's chest.
"Oh, I'm always thirsty for you, Buck~."
Buck took a measured step back.
"That wasn't an invitation."
"...yes, well. I thought about why you stormed off after the Boardwalk."
"I ran off because I found out the only thing you want me for is my magic, Adagio. Because I'm apparently a god damned geyser of freaky pony juice, and that's what you want."
"I'm not going to apologize."
"I don't expect one from you. I know better." Buck studied Adagio's expression. It didn't flinch, but her frown deepened just the slightest bit. "I have something you want, so you were using me. I get it. You don't have to explain anything." Buck said. His heart was starting to beat fast in his chest. He thought that getting to rest would ease this pain, but he was wrong as usual.
"Buck, please, I know this is hard, but just let me finish. I'm not going to apologize for drinking you. You heard my story and you know exactly what I am. I came to apologize for deceiving you. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about your nature. I'm sorry that you feel I...no. I'm sorry for manipulating you. Because you're a human, I didn't treat you with respect, and I see now how hurtful that was."
"...okay. It's very big of you to come down and say you're sorry."
"That's not the whole reason I'm here, Buck."
"Of course." Buck crossed his arms.
"Buck, you're...not like anything else in this plane."
"I'm just another guy, Adagio. Most dudes are."
"No, Buck, I've spent enough time around you to know that's just a lie you tell yourself. You are exceptional, Buck."
"I'm not giving you my magic, Adagio."
"You're no fool. I know that by now."
"That's high praise, comin' from you. When did'ja decide to stop treatin' me like I'm stupid?"
"I never said you were stupid, Buck."
"You called me an idiot for datin' you, Adagio."
"I was angry, then."
"Yeah, I have that effect on people. Just ask Glimglam."
"Buck, I'm offering you a partnership. The two of us are more compatible than you know." Adagio said. Buck felt a slight pain in the back of his head, but he didn't know why.
"Oh? Sounds like a trade up from just being your lunch."
"Just listen to me! Please." Adagio stepped forward. Buck stepped back. Her eye twitched. "You are not like the other dullards in this town. You are caring and cultured and deeply, fundamentally passionate. You've been buried under layers of grief that I've only just barely scratched at, but I can help you! Think about what I can give you, Buck! An immortal life span's worth of plunder, enough to lift you out of this pit of raising rents and scurrying roaches, enough to place you in a higher station! I could provide you a tutor for whatever skill you want to perfect! I could...I could make it so that your writings could circle the globe in a day!"
"Are you being serious?" Buck said. Adagio's eyes began to call to him, but he had seen magic, and this wasn't a spell. Those magenta whirlpools tugged at his collar, just as Adagio stepped forward.
"Do you think I was lying when I told you I could give you the world? Think, Buck! We could leave this place; you could escape from your dead end job and vacation anywhere in the world for as long as you need! You could taste cuisine from anywhere, take lovers of any size or shape or creed! And the magic, Buck, think of the magic! With your power, we could fuel spells never dreamed of before! You and I, together, Buck. We could change everything, and you could finally have the happiness you've been denying to yourself." Her hands were on his cheeks. 
This close, Buck could just make out that Adagio hadn't done her makeup before coming over. There were thin, salty tear stains on her cheeks.
"Adagio, have you been cryin' over me?" The question made his head hurt more than his heart. 
"Don't you still want me, Buck?" Adagio whimpered. Her mask of pride had vanished, and Buck at last saw the longing, vulnerable beauty that had been peeking at him every time he and Adagio were alone.
Buck's hands were shaking again. 
He wanted to reach up and wipe the fresh tear that was forming in her eye. He wanted to pull her close and kiss her until the end of time. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, that he forgave her, that they could try again, really they could. But then he grabbed her shoulder and stepped back to arm's length. 
The door creaked open behind him, and a hand slipped into his. 
Adagio's eyes filled with seething hatred as Ditzy Doo stood next to Buck. Buck remembered where he was, and what he had, and suddenly, the world that had begun to tilt like a carnival ride came to rest.
"So really, you came here to bargain. To cut a deal." Buck said. His free hand came up to rub at his aching temple. "You want me to sell myself to you, and in exchange you'll give me--"
"Anything. Everything!" Adagio said. "You don't have to stay in this miserable life, Buck! You can have a home!"
"...I've got a home, Adagio. It's wherever she is." Buck said, and the little smile he gave to Ditzy was enough for her to lean over and boldly kiss him, right in front of Adagio.
Buck watched as the honest Adagio that he wanted so desperately retreated and a scowl that could stare down a dragon rose to replace it. 
"You're settling for this? She's just a human." Adagio hissed.
"So am I." Buck said. Adagio's hate wavered under the pain in Buck's eyes. "She loves me back." Buck said, simply.
Adagio thought she might explode, then. She wanted to scream in his face some very simple, impossible words, but the chains of her pride and her past dragged the sentiment down beneath the waves. 
"Buck, think about what you're giving up, and for what? A pair of doe eyes and a half-decent stew? A pair of boulders in a sling under a collared dress?" Adagio saw Ditzy Doo squeeze Buck's hand. The hand that had touched Adagio's cheek and pet her hair and held her waist and made her climax. 
"Forget it, Adagio. I'm not helping you take over the world, or whatever. You want to know why I've been doin' well  since you last saw me?"
"Buck, stop. You need me. You know that you need me." Adagio remembered the revolutions. She remembered guillotines and cold cells and cannons. The familiar heartache of war clutched at her chest. 
"I've been doin' well...because I haven't been seein' you." Buck said. Adagio's world shattered all over again. "If you're gonna keep tryin' to solicit me, I don't wanna see you around here. Goodnight, Adagio." 
Buck turned to step into Ditzy's apartment. Adagio shut her eyes and lost count. After screaming internally for a thousand moons and one moment, she straightened her back and turned toward the stairs.





As Adagio approached her car, she passed by an insect on the wall of the apartment. He had blonde hair and red skin and a dirty smattering of freckles on his face. He was smoking and writing something in a notebook, which he hastily pocketed as she walked by.
"Hey baby, you lookin' for a good night?" Said the reprobate. Adagio looked up, and saw past the murder in her eyes. She somewhat recognized the human scum as one that liked to bark at Buck and his wall-eyed wretch as they passed him in the hall. 
Adagio made a motion to tear her hair out, then caught herself and finally felt the cold grip of old habits tighten comfortably around her. She sat in her car, then rolled down the window. It was almost a smile.
"Get in." Adagio said.





Ditzy Doo checked the hallway one more time, Buck right behind her. Her heart was starting to calm down.
"...I think she's gone. That was really, really brave, Buck." Ditzy said. She locked the door and tugged Buck along to her bedroom where Dinky was snoozing.
There was just enough room for the three of them to lay together. There always had been. 
"Come on...it's been a long day." Ditzy said. Buck wordlessly laid down next to Dinky, while Ditzy took the other side. When her head hit the pillow, she finally noticed that Buck's face was streaming with tears.
"Oh...oh, Buck...I know. I know..." Ditzy soothed. Buck was making a face that she had seen in the mirror; one of regret, confusion and tragedy. Ditzy stroked his cheek tenderly. Her other eye watched as Dinky rolled over and pressed her face into Buck's chest. Beneath Buck's broken expression, a shaky smile formed.
"She loves you, Buck. She told me, but she's scared to say it. Sound familiar?" Ditzy smiled, and in the quiet comfort of her bed, she kissed Buck's tears away.
"I love you, Ditzy Doo."
"I love you too, Purple Prose."
Buck couldn't know if he had made the right choice. There was a deep and painful longing in him, still, a torch that Adagio had lit and left to scorch him from the inside, but here in his arms was a comfort he had never imagined before, and a warmth the had been wanting him for ages. It would be a while before he nodded off, and in that time, he tortured himself over what he could have said or done differently, but every time he began to mutter, Ditzy Doo kissed his forehead, or the tip of his nose, or his lips.
Eventually, sleep took him, and Buck found a brief peace.
One dream had died, it seemed, but another was beginning.





The next evening, a small package arrived by monorail to a building covered by a hood of undulating colored glass. As a courier carried the package off the train, it passed under a sign that said MoPop; Museum of Pop Culture, then a pillar made of guitars, and finally the threshold of an unmarked door that had three different locks. The package came to rest on a fancy desk that lay beyond a staggering variety of security fixtures and waited. 
After a few hours, a pale grey hand opened it. Atop the box was an address with the name and ZIP of Canterlot. Inside was a bag filled with gems, and a note. 
In delightfully snide, curly calligraphy, the note read; 
"Dear Pillars Organization
Absolutely Not.
Love, Adagio Dazzle XOXO"
> Chapter 22 - Trouble (Swifty and Taylor Swift)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

When you've lived in an empty house for a while, your homecomings start to blur together. Imagine spending your whole life in the company of a treasured few, then spending several lifetimes more with them. As Adagio turned the music up in her lavish sports car, she remembered. 
Breakfast served in the dim hours before morning, so that the three sirens could bask in the flame of the sun as they dined. Countless quick scuffles settled by a pair of bruised, purple knuckles. Baths in cool springs spent in companionable silence, the feeling of a brush through hair, the unique snore of familiar bedfellows, and the sweet, awkward rhapsodies of songs that may never truly be finished.
Now imagine one day all of those tiny, essential moments suddenly vanish, replaced by a silence so oppressive it chills your skin and weighs down your eyes. No more warmth, home, and purpose; only unfinished songs remain. 
Adagio's song was painfully unfinished, and as long as her palace in the sky was absently silent, it would always remain so. How long had she sat in this place, pacing, wasting time, hoping desperately for some contact?
Adagio despised desperation because it was the twin of hunger; her constant companion. It lead her to perform acts that bordered on blasphemy to satiate herself. At the same time, it was that very desperation that led her to Buck's arms. 
Adagio's suite was meant to be a safe haven for her sisters when they finally returned to her, but now it was nothing but a mausoleum that she slunk back to at night as if she were the walking dead. She had thought fleetingly that perhaps Buck could find a home here instead, but she had managed to drive him away, too.
As Adagio stepped into her personal monument to loneliness and approached her wine rack, she tried to stop thinking about it. She was tired of being the goal-oriented master of her fate. The discovery of Buck and his magic had galvanized her, that was true, but the whole affair had gotten woefully complicated, and she was tired of obsessing about it.
She would take the night off from scheming, and simply allow herself to forget. With some rest and relaxation, she could more easily approach the pure irritation that was Buck and little miss Ditzy Doo's burgeoning relationship. 
An old vintage from a specific region of France filled her wine glass. Adagio drank it down in an instant, cursed to herself, then went for a refill. 
"Why even bother with a glass?" Adagio grumbled. 
"Uhhh, so, we gonna do it, or what?" Said the loathsome creature on Adagio's couch, and just like that her lamentation curdled into disdain for all of humanity. Adagio turned her glare in its direction and saw that it was reclining on her couch with a pinkie in its ear. It hadn't bothered to look over its shoulder to address her. 
The red-skinned, freckled waste of skin gave a startled gasp as Adagio swatted his feet off her coffee table. 
"Hey, what gives!?"
"You will keep your grubby, discount boot bearing feet off my furniture." Adagio said. "Do you have any idea why you're here, right now?" 
"I'm here 'cause you're a lady, and aaall the ladies wanna get a taste of Garble!" It stank of cigarettes and 
insecurity as it barked, arm behind its head. On its head was a crop of orange blonde hair, and on its face was a snaggled smirk that irritated Adagio in the depths of her soul. Adagio reached over, and once again smacked its feet off her table as it sat back. 
"No. I'm Adagio Dazzle. You've heard of me." The waste of space scratched his chin, then a lightbulb seemed to go off in the abandoned warehouse that was his cranium.
"Wait a sec, you're that chick that's always hanging around Buck!" 
"You're here because I'm having a challenging week. Since Buck is currently out of my grasp, you will be my snack tonight in his absence."
"Aw, what!? So what, I'm that freakin' nerd's sloppy seconds!?"
"I assume that you're used to that. You don't look like anyone's first choice." Adagio said, rolling her eyes. 
"Pssh, whatever. Ladies wanna get all up on me 'cause I'm a smooth talker and I know how to fuck."
"I see. Is your second claim as blatant a lie as the first?" Adagio emptied her glass. 
"You wanna suck my dick, or what?" 
Adagio blinked, looked over, and saw that it was picking its teeth now, with a fingernail. 
It was sitting forward, putting its weight behind a foot that had found its way to Adagio's coffee table. Again.	
"Excuse me?"  
"Well, I figure you wanna suck my dick, cause you picked me up instead of Buck."
"No."
"Well, why not? You're like a slut, right?"
No sooner had the words left its mouth did that mouth get slapped straight to the floor by Adagio's swift hand. Garble fell over in a heap, then looked up at Adagio through his dumb shock.
"Do you want to try calling me that again, boy?" Adagio hissed. Garble rubbed his cheek, picking himself up.
"Yeah, you know what? How about you get on your knees for me, slu--" The other cheek was struck, and Garble thudded against the floor once more. 
The look of crumbling anger in his eye told Adagio precisely what kind of filth he was. He would bluster until the women in his life gave in or stabbed him with a kitchen knife. He was the type of stupid mutt that Adagio had taught young, naïve women to poison, lest they pay the ludicrous toll of being stuck with him until they went mad.
"Tch, typical bitches, don't know how to take a joke..." Garble spat, rubbing his cheek.
"They'll never find your body."
"Wha?"
"If you keep talking to me like that, they'll never find your body. You must not know me after all. I can kill you with a quick tune. I can snatch your soul and keep it in a bottle."
"I thought you said you weren't gonna suck my dick!"
"Stop talking. I'm feeling magnanimous tonight, so here's what's going to happen. I am going to have my snack, and then, if I'm feeling especially generous, I'll allow you to stay the night." Adagio's frown softened a bit. If she decided to kill this creature in cold blood, there would surely be an investigation, and she couldn't go tarnishing her new reputation already. Not on a whim. 
"Uh, I gotta be at the fair tomorrow, like early." 
"Are you asking me for a ride, when I just told you to stop talking?" Adagio's eyes flashed red. 
"Uhhh..." Garble slurred. Adagio felt a familiar ache behind her eyeballs. It would be too much effort to scare the life out of him for a little treat. Adagio sighed, then pushed him back down to the floor with the tip of her foot before sitting in his lap.
"Listen, filthy human. I know that there must be a single sensible thought in your little head that's telling you not to pass on this opportunity. You will never get another chance like this again, so, I'm only going to ask you once; do you want me?" Adagio said. She put forth a great deal of will and managed to give a salacious grin as she lifted her shirt. 
Garble looked at her naked breasts like a starving dog. He nodded.
"Then, that will have to do." Adagio opened her mouth and a stream of reddish-black mana coursed into her. When she finished, the urchin had passed out. He tasted like cough syrup and angst, and he had an erection. Disgusting.
Adagio rose, and after tossing a sheet over the idiot sleeping on her floor, she patted herself on the back. So far, that was the nicest that she'd managed to be while draining a man in this city.
As she laid back in her cushy bed, Adagio regarded the spot that was empty. Buck had only laid there a few times, but Adagio identified that spot as His, and that thought struck a chord of deep, depressing fear in her. She grabbed the pillow that had smelled of him and hugged it to her chest until she finally slept.





It was eight in the morning and Buck was trying to enjoy his breakfast. It wasn't much of a breakfast, since it was a cup of coffee with a couple of sugar cubes in it, but Buck had decided the previous night to save room for the high carb fair food that would surely present itself to him. 
At this ungodly hour, which was to say any hour before 11 pm, Buck was waiting patiently for the party to assemble. He could hear the frantic giggling of Dinky Doo from next door; a sure sign that she was making the act of getting dressed for the fair into a humorously troublesome task for her mother. Buck was determined to not explode today. Unfortunately, the pins and needles that Buck had been walking on through his peaceful time with Ditzy Doo left him feeling a lot like an overfilled water balloon. 
Buck was so focused on visualizing the day ahead that he didn't notice his front door had opened. A head of purple hair plopped into his lap, startling him half-awake.
"Morning, Buck! You're up earlier than I thought you'd be!"
"Well, to be fair, I'm only mostly awake." Buck yawned. He scritched gently at Scoot's scalp as she smiled up at him. "Where's your outfit? Didn't you say you were gonna dress up?"
"Huh? Oh yeah, yeah, I got my suitcase right here!" Scoots sprung from Buck's lap, unlatched a rolling suitcase with a bunch of stickers of skate brands on it, and then without even skipping a beat, started taking her shirt off.
"Woah, woah, woah! Don't do that in here!" Buck said. Scoots paused, smirked at Buck, and gave her hips a little wiggle.
"Why not? You've already seen everything, Buck." Scoots snickered. She had come wearing jean shorts, and Buck distressingly remembered in that instant that he liked jean shorts on pixie builds. 
"Chill out on that, okay? Just do it in my bedroom."
"But I wanna cuddle! I can't do that in the bedroom!"
"Then change at the fair! What's the rush?" Buck said. Scoots laid back onto the couch and his lap. 
"Sorry, I guess Adagio got me too used to bein' cozy with you."
"...how is she, by the way? Have you delivered to her, or anything?"
"Just once this week, and she didn't really have anything to say. She seemed fine."
"Okay."
"Are you okay, Buck? You're doing that look you do when you're trying to figure out small change." Scoots said. She tilted her head to let Buck's nails get behind her ear, then closed her eyes and sighed. 
Buck couldn't remember when they'd gotten all touchy-feely, it just seemed natural. Kinda reminded him of hanging with Sunburst back in college. Lot of cuddle puddles back then. 
"I'm a little stressed, I guess. I really, really wanna have a nice, relaxing date without any major crap-ups. And, you know there's the usual."
"The usual?"
"Yeah! Look, Ditzy is, she's amazing, alright? But she's straight laced and she hasn't really seen the parts of me that you have, you know?"
"You mean the nerd parts or the 'spur of the moment threeway' parts?"
"That was Adagio's idea!"
"Yeah, but you agreed to it!"
"The point is, Ditzy and I have a different relationship than Adagio and I had. It's slower, and more cuddly and more..."
"Vanilla?"
"I just...I want Ditzy to like me, you know? She works so damn hard and she deserves someone that isn't this...situation that she has to deal with. I wanna have a good time with her, without any distractions."
"Huh. Well, if you don't want her to be distracted, you should probably do something about this." Scoots said. She poked at Buck's crotch, which was right next to her face. At some point, a bulge had appeared there. 
"God damn it, Scoots. I have been trying really damn hard to not give Ditzy the impression that I'm horny all the time!" Buck whispered.
"But...you are, aren't you?" Scoots said, incredulously.
"Well, sure, but Ditzy isn't! I don't wanna scare her off! It's...look, a lot of girls just don't go for that sorta energy, and Ditzy is sweet and gentle. I wanna treat her like a lady, you know?"
"I guess that makes sense." Scoots shrugged. Her eyes darted to Buck's bulge again, then seemed to shine with mischief. "Do you...want me to take care of that before she gets over here with Dinky?"
"What?"
"I'll be real quick, I promise!" Scoots said. She gave Buck's crotch a gentle squeeze, biting her lip. A distant voice in Buck's head screamed through a megaphone to let her jerk him off.
"Scoots, you...you do realize that what you and I have is platonic, right?" Buck said. Scoots was nuzzling against his crotch, just a bit, but she stopped and blinked and then nodded.
"Well, yeah, of course."
"Okay, I'm glad we got that cleared up." Buck said. He started scratching at Scoot's scalp again. He let out a breath and relaxed.
"But, platonic sex is totally a thing, bro, and we're both a little pent up, so maybe you can grab my head and..." Scoots said, tugging at Buck's zipper. Buck felt the urge to just go with the flow, but he pushed past it. 
"Scoots, stop. We're not doin' that, okay?" Buck did indeed grab Scoot's head, but he pulled it insistently away from his crotch. He saw Scoots blush deep as she looked up into his eyes.
"Okay. Sorry." She whimpered.
"I'm flattered Scoots, really I am, but things're different with me and Ditzy. I really don't think she'd be alright with this." 
"Alright with what? Is everything okay in...uh?" 
Buck looked over and saw the door ajar, with Ditzy standing in it. She was wearing a forest green thing that looked about sixty percent apron and forty percent dress over a white blouse. She was also staring dumbfounded as Scoots lifted her head out of Buck's lap. 
Buck and Scoots looked at each other for a horrible eternity in a second, then Scoots looked frantically at Ditzy.
"We weren't doing anything!" She panicked. Ditzy looked at Buck with a dubious deadpan, and Buck shook his head.
"...Uh huh. Buck, could you help Dinky with her hair?" 
"Oh, sure, no problem! Hey, uh, Scoots, didn't you say you were about to go get changed for the fair?"
"Yeah, yeah, that's right! I was going to go and do that! Get changed, over in your bedroom, haha!" Scoots fumbled her way out of the living room, dragging her suitcase along, leaving Buck to sit awkwardly under Ditzy's gaze.
"....should I be worried, Buck?" 
Boy oh boy, he thought. There's a whole essay of answers to that question.
"No, Ditzy, it wasn't what it looked like. We were cuddling. Is that...is cuddling okay? Because if its not, I can tell Scoots." Buck said, putting his hands up. 
"Buck, it's alright. I trust you. Okay? Gimmie a hug." Ditzy stepped over to Buck, and as he rose, she embraced him tenderly. Buck felt the weight of the world slide off his shoulders. After a moment, Buck squeezed Ditzy and sighed.
"I really thought I'd fucked everything up just now."
"Language, Buck. You didn't do anything wrong. I mean, look, I had to watch Adagio grab your crotch and walk around here with no bra on. I'm not worried about Scootaloo." Ditzy chuckled but stopped when Buck's face left her shoulder. She noticed the wetness in his eyes and frowned. "It's okay. Don't stress out, alright?"
"Can I kiss you, Ditzy?"
"Sure you can, Buck! Why do you ask?"
"'cause I love you, Ditzy Doo." 
It was a soft, almost feathery touch of the lips that made Ditzy Doo thirst for a thousand more just like it, but then Buck pulled back and touched his forehead to hers.
"Hey...we're going to have a fun day, you know?"
"Yeah."
"So don't freak out, okay?"
"Okay." Buck said. His thoughts stumbled as he realized he was holding Ditzy by the waist, and her very generous bust was pressed up against his chest. 
Suddenly, he was thinking of being on top of Ditzy, with his bed beneath her, treating her to the same deep, hot kisses that she had used to confess to him. The sound of her sweet little whines as she opened her legs to let him grind against her, the warmth of her breath by his ear, pleading with him to do more. 
He let Ditzy go and stepped back just in time for Dinky to rush into the room, dressed like an ancient Yak dignitary, complete with a plastic axe.
"I wanna beard!" She declared. 
"...I'll go get the hair ties."





Far enough to escape the noise of the city but not quite the glare of the skyline, a newly repainted sports car pulled into a small field of loose gravel that was a parking lot in name only. Across the static sea of dusty cars, a nostalgic gate of brick and mortar sang at Adagio with the jocular murmur of a crowd. People in various states of costume stepped out of their conveyance, laughing and jingling in mail and cloaks and silly hats.  
It reminded Adagio of Canterlot during her Academy days; a memory that tasted like a pleasantly sharp wine.  
"You're welcome, by the way." Adagio said, turning the car off. To her right sat the creature that she had learned was named Garble. He was failing miserably at acting nonchalant. Adagio guessed it was because he couldn't remember what had happened after she lifted her shirt last night. 
"Huh?"
"You're welcome, for the ride to whatever this is."
"It's called a Ren Faire. It's a place where nerds go to do nerd shit."
"Charming. Are you going to get out of my car?"
"You got places to be?"
"No, I'd simply rather be doing anything else."
"I'm here to see my sister. She really, really wanted to hang here, probably 'cause she knows I hate this shit." Garble spoke in a mumble that tasted of sour grapes.
"How spiteful. She sounds like a delight." Adagio said, rolling her eyes.
"Ugh, it's going to be such a drag. You know, I thought you would wanna be here."
"Why would you think that?"
"'cuz Buck, the fuckin' nerd, is gonna be here. He was talking to Ditzy about it in the hall like a day ago."
Realization just about struck a heart murmur into Adagio's chest. Garble was one of their neighbors, otherwise, he wouldn't be allowed to loiter around their apartment complex. He knew them distantly and likely passed by their doors from time to time. The claim was feasible.
"Are you entirely certain about that?" Adagio said. She caught Garble's smirk from the corner of her eye.
"Pretty sure. You guys hung out for a while, right? Watching dumbass cartoons, or whatever? Pretty shitty for Buck to infect a hottie like you with nerd-ness...ow!" Garble said. The skin on the back of his reaching hand was painfully pinched by Adagio before he could touch her thigh. 
"Let's make a deal, human boy. I've decided to take a look around this place. I'd like to pay Buck a visit and catch up a bit. We've both been terribly busy lately, and I haven't seen him. I'll allow you to accompany me, since you're obviously terrified of seeing your sibling. You can quietly relax at my side and abstain from touching me while you work up the nerve."
"What do I get out of it?"
"I'll purchase you lunch, if I must."
"Yeah, sure, whatever."
"Excellent. Now stop sweating on my seat. We're heading in.
"You know they charge out the ass for admission, right?"
"Oh, that's cute."




"Woah, slow down there, hero! Don't leave us behind!" Buck called down the way. 
The ren fair ended up being a very large recreational area populated with stubby cottages, kiosks, and stands. 'Thees' and 'Thous' and 'Fool of a Tooks' flew through the air, accompanied by the sounds of lutes and french horns and old drums.  
Buck had entered the place feeling worried that he would get made fun of for not having a costume but the casual air of the place set him at ease. In fact, the smell of cooking meat and spilled booze reminded Buck of home as he jogged over a cobblestone bridge astride a babbling stream that ran through the heart of the festival. 
The only thing Buck could see of the seven-year-old child he was supposed to be looking after were the horns on her helmet bouncing excitedly as she buzzed around a stall selling some bizarre bone crafts. She paused at a frame flanking a spooky portrait just long enough for Buck scoop her up in his arms.
"Gotcha, ya little battering ram!" 
"Buck, Buck, lookit all the bones! Lookit the glass stuff over there!" 
"Okay, okay, how 'bout you just sit on my shoulders and point where to go?"
"Okie dokie!" Dinky said, and then without hesitation, she climbed Buck like a rock wall, letting her blonde hair, which had been tastefully braided and tied into a beard dangle in his face.
Once she got settled on Buck's shoulders, Dinky looked over the heads of the fair-goers, but suddenly gawked in awe at an enchanting sight.
In the shade of a lacey black parasol strode a petite woman with alabaster white skin. Her shoulder-length hair was blood red with a black streak through it, a large pitch-colored bow at the back of her head. She was in a gothic bustier above a red skirt; an outfit that accentuated the curves of her hips and potbelly more than hide them. The crowd parted in her wake until she came upon Buck, who smirked at her with a strange familiarity. 
"Ooh...pretty..." Dinky said.
"Is that you, Purple Prose? What brings you to such a colorful place? Are you here taking care of your...daughter?" The woman said, in a voice like smooth dark wine.
"No, Madame Lilith, I'm actually on the way to, well..." Buck said, then he beckoned her over to speak in her ear.
"A date, with her mother. Not the paid kind, either." Buck whispered.
"Oh. Oh! I hope I'm not intruding?"
"It's fine. How's the trade?"
"Busy." The lady smiled.
"Good to hear."
"I learned from the best, now didn't I?" The woman flashed a fanged grin.
"Alright, alright. You don't wanna be seen talking to a pleb like me, right? You've got a reputation now!" Buck laughed.
"Oh, if you insist."
"There you guys are! Man, she really gets going, doesn't she?" Scoots huffed. She was now wearing a dark hooded cloak with a pair of fuzzy ears on her head and cute little wings on her back. There was a bead of sweat rolling down her face, a testament to the fact that dressing like a goth furry at the top of summer was a terrible idea to commit to.
"Farewell, humble bard. I'll let you get back to your 'quiet life'!" Said the gothic beauty. She waved at Buck over her shoulder, then clacked her way down the road.
"...Do you know her, Buck?" Scoots said, blushing at the woman's back.
"Oh man, that's a long story." Buck mused.* 
Sunburst limped behind Scoots, gasping for breath in spite of the coolness of his breezy cape and wide-brimmed pointy hat.
"You are...distressingly good...at running through crowds!" Sunburst said, clapping a hand on Scoots' shoulder.
"Buck! Look, look, look! What's that!?" Dinky pointed over the crowd to a tower of stone that was all the way across the fair.
"That's...I think that's an actual medieval structure?" Buck said.
"It is! Sort of! That's a reproduction of a medieval turret attached to a welsh castle!" Sunburst said, catching his breath.
"Why?" Dinky said.
"It was built to protect the faire!"
"Why?"
"Well, the Canterlot Historical Society didn't like this space outside of town being used for wild historical anachronisms, and so they tried to shut the event down for having a lack of educational value. In response, the organizers started a fundraiser to erect an educational display, and they ended up raising enough money to put up this mock-up turret, with a little plaque that explains it! Now, the event can't be shut down, because it has both educational and functional significance!" 
"Why?"
"Well, it was an act of community pettiness meant to get the CHS off the faire's back, and let people have their fun!"
"Why?"	
"Because...because the faire is fun!"
"Why?"
"Sunburst. Sunburst, she can do this all day."
"That's alright! I can answer all day, right Dinky?"
"Yaaaaay! Buck, go over there! I wanna go see mama!"
"Alrighty, Dinky, here we go!" Buck said. He skipped back across the cobblestone bridge, making sounds that were sort of like farts and sort of like coconuts banging together that Sunburst started to understand were supposed to be the clopping of hooves.
Down the way, Ditzy Doo looked around a customer and waved.
"Well, aren't they precious together." Sunburst smiled, walking alongside Scoots. Scoots saw he was slouching more than usual, and his smile left just as quickly as it came.
"Yeah...she really looks like she could be his kid, right?"
"Well, that, but I meant Buck and Ditzy. I haven't seen Buck look so happy since before the fiasco with the shoggoth."
"I know what you mean. He almost looks weird, smiling that much," Scoots chuckled. "How come you're all down today? I thought you'd really like it here?"
"...It's Starlight. She said she would show up later, but I just know she's working on something. I've been trying to get her to relax for ages, but it only seems to make her work even more.
"Eh, well, she's kind of a downer, anyway." Scoots shrugged. Sunburst stopped and frowned at her for a moment, then sighed.
"She wasn't always." He said as they approached Ditzy's stand. 
Ditzy sat beneath a wooden sign that read "Bubble Troubles' Costume Baubles".  In front of her was a delightfully small pile of necklaces, bracelets, and rings that she had put her heart and soul into.
As Buck carried Dinky through the crowd, he heard a pair of ladies who had just passed the booth whispering something about lazy eyes and charity, but he paid it no mind. Ditzy was smiling and cracking her back, and her eyes lit up as she saw her daughter bobbing toward her over the crowd.
"Mama, mama! There's a bunch of bones over there!" Dinky said, to her Mother's wincing smile.
"That's neat, Dinky! What else did you see?"
"There's um, there's a big rock thingy! Sunburst said it's uh...hiss...his..."
"Sound it out. His-tor...?" Buck started.
"Historical!" 
"Alright, Dinky! Up top!" Buck held up a hand above his head and Dinky slapped his palm. "How's the stand goin', Ditzy?"
"Well not amazing...but better than I expected for my first time doing the jewelry stuff!" Ditzy said. 
"Whaaat? First time!? But these look super real!" Scoots said, hands on the counter. Her eyes flitted over the glittering, painted decorations.
"Well, I don't wanna toot my own horn, but I can do other stuff than delivering treats! So, uh, toot toot!" Ditzy pumped her fist like she was pulling a truck's horn, and put on a satisfied smirk that melted Buck's heart.
"Mama, does that mean we can go to the zoo!?" Dinky squealed.
"I don't wanna promise..." Ditzy said, morosely.
"Ohh..." Dinky deflated.
"But another day like this and we'll definitely be able to go!" Ditzy brightened.
"Yaay! I'm gonna see the sloths! They go like this!" Everyone watched with rapt attention while Dinky sluggishly mimed out a sloth reaching for a branch, except of course the tree she was climbing on was Buck, and the branch was the post of Ditzy's stand. Buck quickly, almost frantically got an arm under her to stop her from falling, then shared a smile with Ditzy.
"I just don't get how you made these look so good, Ditzy! Hey, are you sure you're not secretly using magic on these?" Scoots giggled. Buck made a quick neck-cutting motion in Scoot's direction, but it was too late. A scowl had arrived on Ditzy's face.
"Heeey, okay, Scoots, how about you and Sunburst go take Dinky for a bit while me and Ditzy catch up, huh? Ditzy, you're about to close up for the day, yeah?" Buck said, lowering Dinky to the ground.
"That's right! Do you want to help me shut down the stall, Buck?" Ditzy said. "You could put the wares away while I go get changed." Ditzy said, her gentle smile returning.
"Oh sure. One sec. Hey, Dinky? I've got a mission for ya!" Buck said. 
"A mission!? What kinda mission?"
A quest fit for a brave and noble yak! But it's a secret, so I need to whisper it to ya. C'mere." Buck kneeled down, held a hand up to Dinky's ear, and Ditzy watched the little cosplayer nod so excitedly that her helmet nearly toppled over. Then Buck rose and handed Sunburst something from his pocket. A brotherly smile followed, and then Scoots and Sunburst scrambled after Dinky, who had already started wandering off.
"What was all that about?" Ditzy said. 
"Huh? Oh, a little insurance. I told Dinky to go find you a gift 'befitting a master craftsman', then gave Sunburst some dollars to make it happen. I told Dinky to make it a surprise, though. Knowing your daughter, she'll be at this for the rest of the day, and she'll be all sneaky about it." Buck smiled. 
"Uh huh? But why, though?"
"'Well, you said you wanted it to just be the two of us after you closed the stall. I wanted to make sure I got my main squeeze all to myself." Buck said. His hand found the small of Ditzy's back, and his lips kissed her shoulder.
"Oh, that's sneaky, Buck!" Ditzy giggled.
"Nah, it's just psychology. Everybody wants to be trusted, you know?"
"Mhm...can I trust you to gather all of this stuff in my suitcase and lock it up while I go change in that booth over there?" Ditzy said. 
"Sure thing." Buck turned to go, but Ditzy caught his hand. Buck looked back and saw her staring at the ground.
"Buck...you're a big sweetheart, and I really love that about you." Ditzy managed to say.
"Maybe you just bring out the best in me, Muffin." Buck said. He kissed the back of her hand and then got to work on the booth. Once Ditzy turned her back, Buck let out the breath he was holding.





"So what the heck was that about?" Scoots said. She and Sunburst stood and watched as Dinky Doo stared at a kiosk full of medieval weapons. The expression on her face was like a philosopher in an art museum. That is to say, Sunburst and Scoots couldn't tell what she was thinking, but it was probably profound in a very unique way. 
"What was what about?"
"Why did Buck cut me off when I joked about--" Sunburst shook his head quickly, then tilted it at Dinky, who was now showering the proprietor of the stall with questions about maces and hammers. "Okay, so it's not just Buck. What's the deal?"
"Did Buck not tell you? Ditzy hates anything to do with magic." Sunburst whispered.
"Oh, right. But, uhh...but Buck is magic. How's that gonna work?"
"I think she's accepted that, well Starlight said so, but she doesn't want Dinky involved with any magic, which is fair, considering how dangerous it all is." Sunburst said.
"I guess its none of my business...but Dinky loves all this fantasy stuff! Don't you think she should know about magic? It's only a matter of time until she finds out, right?"
"Well, I'm sure Ditzy will tell Dinky about it when she's ready. It's best if we keep things as normal as possible until then. Hey, Dinky? Those might be a little expensive, and I don't think your Mom would want a mace!" Sunburst said.
"Nuh-uh! Mama really likes knitting, and cooking and and hitting stuff! And dancing!" 
"Hitting stuff?" 
"Mama is good at hitting stuff with other stuff!" Dinky huffed. 
"Huh. Well, Dinky, this stuff is pretty far out of our price range. Why don't we go get a piece of art, or something? Maybe a pretty figurine or a candle, or something?"
"But mama can make that stuff!" Dinky pouted.
"Well, how about looking for something she can't make?"
"Mama can make anything!"
"Okay, well how about something pretty she can wear?"
"Yeah! Thassa good idea!" Dinky grabbed Sunburst and Scoots' hands and started pulling them insistently down the road. As they turned a corner together, Scoots collided with what she thought was a mirror for a second.
"You okay, little dude?" Said a raspy but feminine voice.
It was a woman with dark orange skin, purple hair with blonde streaks, and cyan eyes. She was a bit taller than Scoots, and sturdier since Scoots seemed to bounce off her. She had a bit of a snaggletooth poking out of the corner of her mouth. She was dressed up like a fairytale princess; complete with a sapphire-colored dress, conical hat, and ribbon. She was also equipped with what looked like a pair of yellow horns on either side of her head, some long, thin wings, and a purple tufted tail, all made of shiny orange fabric.
"Sorry, my bad!" Scoots said. The woman offered a hand, then hauled Scoots to her feet in one motion. 
"No, no, it was my bad! I wasn't looking where I was going, like at all." 
"Are you like...a dragon princess?"
"Well, yeah! Hey, wait, are you a batpony!? That's so cute!"
"CUTE!?" Scoots looked as if she'd been slapped across the face. 
"Totally! Those fuzzy wings and those ears are super adorable!"
"I, bu-bu-but, I'm not, I, I got these knives, and...cute!?" Scoots stammered. Sunburst put a hand on her shoulder as Scoots worked through a small existential crisis. 
"Princess!? You're a princess! Princesses give quests, and stuff, right? Right?" Dinky chirped.
"Uh, I guess? You know, I am having a problem right now."
"Is that so? I hope its nothing too serious?" Sunburst said.
"Nah, it's just my dumb brother. He was supposed to meet me here a couple of hours ago! We haven't gotten to hang out in a while, so today was going to be special. Either he got lost, or he never showed up...
"Oh, oh! Is he a dragon prince!?" Dinky said.
"No, he's just a goofus." The princess laughed. 
"Can we help? Can we help!?" Dinky bounced over to Sunburst with a pleading expression. Sunburst looked to Scoots, who was still zoned out, then thought of how Buck wanted to keep Dinky occupied.
"Well, I don't see why not?" What do you say, Scoots?"
"Uh, yeah! We'll help! Just...don't call me cute!" Scoots recovered. The dragon princess smirked knowingly.
"Yeah yeah yeah yeah!" Dinky said. "I'm Dinky, and I'm a yak!"
"Of course you are! That beard proves it!" Smolder laughed, but then her voice flipped into a trilling, theatrical accent. "I'm dragon princess Smolder, and I bequeath to you a mission of the utmost importance, Dinky the yak! I would like you and your noble band to help me track down my butthead older brother Garble, who better be around here somewhere, or I'm gonna deck him!" She said, with an elegant curtsy. 
Dinky bowed, as did Sunburst, and after staring at Smolder like she was some newly discovered tropical bird, Scoots followed suit. 
"Wait, did you say Smolder? Oh, wow, I can't believe I didn't recognize you!" Sunburst smiled, lifting the brim of his hat.
"Huh? Is that...is that Sunburst? Oh my gosh, dude, what're you doing here!?"
"You guys know each other?" Scoots said, taking Dinky's hand again before she could wander off.
"Yeah, we were pals back at the San Franciscolt College of the Arts, before he ran off to Canterlot to be a big shot undergrad!" Smolder said.
"Oh, sweet! What was your major?" Scoots said.
"Cartography." Smolder said.
"That doesn't sound like an art degree."
"Map making is an art form!" Smolder shouted. Some of the people walking past stopped for a second to gawk, but Smolder waved them off. 
"We used to play tabletop games together." Sunburst smiled.
"Oh man, that must've been wild!" Scoots said. "You got any crazy war stories?"
"Like you wouldn't believe! Back then, it was Buck that ran the games; usually a different system every few weeks." Sunburst said. 
"That sounds nuts!" Scoots said.
"Oh, Smolder, do you remember when we did Shadowrun? Er...without the uh, chunky salsa bits?" Sunburst said, tilting his head at Dinky, who was marveling at a nearby stall filled with jangling wind chimes.
"Hm? Oh, right, the kid. Yeah. Hey, Scoots, right? You ever heard of an insect spirit?"





Across the fair, Buck sat awkwardly on a wooden bench next to a row of striped tents. By the time he'd finished cleaning up the booth, stowing the wares, and locking the suitcase, Ditzy was already in the middle of changing. Actually, it was taking longer than he expected it would. Must have been a really lacey corset, or something, Buck figured.
"Hey, Ditzy, can we talk?"	
"I sure hope so, Buck!" Ditzy said, cheerily. Inside the tent, there was the jingling of a belt buckle. 
"Do you, uh, need me to come in there and help you zip up?"
"Wha? No, no, that's um...I want it to be a surprise!" Ditzy said in a flustered voice.
"Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not tryin' to peep or anything!"
"No, no, that's fine, it's fine, I've got it!"
"Ditzy, I know you wanna keep Dinky safe from magic stuff and give her a normal life, but I don't know how I'm supposed to fit into that. I'm magic, Ditzy, and as long as I am, you two are in danger."
"Buck, it's fine. Starlight told me that she's going to...guh...help you learn to manage it. There're things you can do to protect from magic, I'm sure." Something thumped, and Ditzy said something adjacent to an expletive in response.
"You know Glimglam?"
"Oh, yeah, we go, uh, way back!" Ditzy groaned. Something latched together, and then there was a slight clanging that hit Buck with a wave of apprehension. 
"Huh. How'd you meet?"
"Uh, well...look, Buck, I know you're worried, but its going to be fine. As long as you work to minimize your magic with Starlight and you just relax, I'm sure things will work out." 
The word 'minimize' thudded onto a table in Buck's mind and put everything into focus. His magic was a curse that needed to be contained if he had any hope of being happy with Ditzy and Dinky. But he'd also been thinking about it for a bit. He remembered how the Rainbooms used their magic to solve problems, and even help people at times. He wondered if he could do the same, but he was terrified to bring this up to Ditzy. He didn't want to throw himself into an ocean of magical bullshit, but now it seemed he was in it from the start. The only thing to do was swim for the shore.
"I guess you're right. We came here to have fun, didn't we? No need to overthink it." Buck said, finally.
"That's right! And besides, no matter what happens, I'll be there for you. And you know what else, Buck?" Ditzy said.
"What's that, Ditzy?" 
The tent flap rustled, and suddenly Buck was looking up at a leather breastplate, curved outward to accommodate an impressive bust. Beneath that was a light blue tabard, below which was a set of shining greaves. Above the breastplate, glimmering in the late daylight were a pair of rounded pauldrons and some arm armor that Buck didn't know the name of led down to a pair of leather gloves. A gorget sat between the shoulder plates, and above it was Ditzy's familiar face, the light streaming through her blonde locks like a halo. She held a hand out to him.
"No matter what happens, I'll protect you. You and Dinky. I promise." Ditzy smiled, and she blinked her off-center eyes, focusing on Buck, who slowly took her hand, mouth agape.
"You, uh...that's...I, holy moly, this's...huh...wow." Buck found that he had suddenly lost access to his personal lexicon of the kinds of adjectives that would help him articulate the new fetish that he was discovering at the moment. His heart started hammering, and he could feel his cheeks burning.
"Huh?"
"I just...I was, you know, I was mentally prepared for knights and stuff, even female knights, but this, well, well how could I be prepared for hot lady knight Ditzy Doo? That's not even fair, man." Buck said, fanning himself off.
"Really? I'm wearing more clothes than usual!"
"No, no, it's cool, it's fine, I'm cool." Buck said. 
"Buck, you're turning red." Ditzy said. She was clearly worried, but she couldn't hide her smile as she touched Buck's cheek. 
"I uh, you're...look, Ditzy, I'mma be real with you; you've been beautiful since the day I met you in high school, and the day I moved in next to you, and every day since we got together. You're beautiful every single day, Ditzy, and this is the most gorgeous I've ever seen you, and you're a knight? Like, have you been a templar this whole time? Is this assassin's creed?"
"What? No, Buck, I was in the fencing club in high school, remember?"
"I thought you were in the science club?"
"Well, yeah, but also the fencing club! I mean, after I graduated, I kept up the hobby over at the rec center, and then one thing led to another and I got this armor in a contest, but when I had Dinky, I just couldn't keep it up, so I put the armor in storage and just break it out when I do the faire!"
"Uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh." Buck nodded and agreed.
"Did you get any of that?"
"Honestly? Not a lot. I got stuck on the image of you with, like a sword and shield on a horse and I got pretty lost there, sorry. Did I say you were pretty? You're super pretty like this." 
"Aw, thank you! I um...I actually wanted to go do some knight stuff! You know, shoot some targets, axe throwing, maybe do some sparring?"
"That sounds super hot. I'm probably gonna have to sit down for that." Buck said, urgently.
"Well, I mean, we could relax and get something to eat, or go check out the theater stage, or watch some games, if that stuff sounds a little overwhelming."
"Nope. I'm pretty sure the only thing I ever want to look at is you swinging medieval weapons, for like the rest of my life." Buck said. Now Ditzy was at a loss for words, but after convincing herself that Buck didn't mean to sound like he was proposing, she decided to throw him a bone.
"You know, I could change out of this if its too much."
"Nope!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yep! I think I'm going to enjoy this...whole...situation as much as I can today." Buck said, gesturing broadly at Ditzy Doo. 
"...okay then!" Ditzy reached into the booth and produced a duffle bag which clanked as it shifted. "Can you carry this for me, Buck? It's a little heavy."
"Anything for you, my lady." Buck simped. He took the bag and slung it over his shoulder, then almost toppled over from the swinging weight. 
"My hero!" Ditzy giggled. She offered Buck her hand, and with no small amount of reverence, Buck took it and followed her lead.





For all the chaotic motley crew of this function, Adagio found a certain emotional clarity in the crowd. It seemed that from time to time, humans could indeed agree on something. In this case, it was gallivanting around in a wild clash of costumes from various historical and fictional settings for a weekend. The taste of the event was like honeyed mead; a cozy feeling that would swiftly grow intoxicating if over imbibed. 
Unfortunately, the festive mood couldn't sink in, because she was sitting next to a loose jumble of thinly veiled anxiety. Garble had his arms crossed and had not stopped grumbling about "These dumb nerds and their dumb outfits. and their...jousts!"
Across from the tavern the two were sitting beside was a set of fenced-off rings with a sign before it that read "Proving Grounds". They were populated by people adorned with ancient armors lightly whacking each other with tools of war while spectators clapped and kept score. Garble rolled his eyes as a joust concluded with a man knocked clean off his eldritch abomination. Adagio could never truly get used to this world's horses.
"Will you stop your fussing and eat your shepherd's pie? You're like a moody infant." Adagio said, at last. Garble took a spoonful of the odd, rustic casserole.
"Stupid carny food..." He muttered.
Adagio hadn't seen any sign of Buck, but she could sense him. It was incredibly faint, but she had gotten used to Buck's particular assortment of flavors, even from a certain distance. He was here, somewhere, and he tasted like admiration and fluttering twitterpation. It was the same way he tasted the instant that Adagio told him she was taking him home with her on their first night, but something seemed a bit off.
"Somehow, somewhere in this mess, little Miss Ditzy Doo is sinking her claws into my Buck."
"What's your deal with him? Buck's a smart-aleck dork who thinks the whole world revolves aroun-who's got a big head and a little dick, but I didn't think he'd be dumb enough to kick you out?"
"He didn't kick me out. We're just taking a break."
"Dude, I've seen him and Ditzy. They kiss like my grandparents. It's gross. Seriously, what'd you do, look at his browser history? That why he dumped you?" Garble said, through another mouthful of food.
"He didn't dump me; he's been overly stressed due to all the goings-on, and so I generously decided to give him some space. Just like I generously chose to let you live to see today." 
"Yeah...I totally scored last night, didn't I?"
"What did I tell you about talking?"
"It makes me sound stupid, I get it MOM."
"No, I told you to stop doing it. I'm trying to focus." Adagio closed her eyes and tried to fade the chaos away. She pushed aside the misty curtain of prickly anxiety just next to her and tried to track Buck's movement. He was getting closer, and at his side was a taste of trepidation buried under bemusement, jocularity, and...confidence. Had Buck arrived with someone besides Ditzy Doo? Adagio didn't think he had the heart to betray the simpering cow.
Adagio had just found the taste of a loud, childlike ball of energy bouncing around in the far background, but then her focus was shattered by a spike of emotion next to her.
"Oh, brilliant." Adagio said, rubbing her temples. Garble had cringed behind the table, crouching down, then after a moment, he came back up and attempted to sit in a relaxed, ambivalent manner.
"What? Why are you suddenly jumpy?"
"Nothin'. Thought I saw my sister."
"You're pathetic. Your sister is trying to reach out to you. What exactly are you so afraid of that you can't appreciate that?"
"You don't get it. As soon as she sees me, it's all; Stop leaving your bongos out, Gar Gar! You'll never get a girlfriend if you don't stop picking your teeth, Gar Gar! Leave the waitress alone, Gar Gar! On and on and on like she owns me, or something!" Garble said, aping a scratchy, feminine voice. "And then she wonders why I don't wanna call."
"Ah, I see. Even though your self-image is a funhouse mirror, she is determined to help you correct it. It's a very common affliction that plagues the women of this world."
"I know, right? When is she gonna learn to lay off?"
"Tell me something; what are you doing when you aren't being hounded by your sister?"
"Just bein' the most wanted man in Canterlot! Ladies can't resist the pearly whites!"
"I see. So you don't have much in the way of aspirations. Have you considered that she smothers you because she doesn't want you to continue being a disaster?"
"Hey, you can't mess with perfection! She's gotta learn that one of these days."
"If you learned to stand for something, or anything rather, she might have a harder time walking all over you, that's all I'm saying." Adagio said, idly. Garble started stammering and posturing, or that's what it sounded like as Adagio tuned him out.
"Yes, yes, very interesting..." Adagio ignored Garble to the best of her ability, squinting through the crowd of fair-goers until her vigilance finally paid off.



	 

"So my street sam is now covered in gross, swinging her axe, riding a motorcycle that's mostly on fire. Lone Star shows up with their crazy armored van, and they're obviously gonna wanna gun us down for the building we destroyed, even though we cut down the shaman!" Smolder said.
"And then what happened!? Scoots said. Just down the way, a very patient merchant was presenting a necklace of shimmering jewels to Dinky, who shook her head. Sunburst smiled and pointed to another, less expensive piece of jewelry.
"Whaddya think? We didn't get into this business because we wanted to live forever! So I hit the gas and arm the C4 I've got in the sidecar!
"Oh geez!"
"I know I'm gonna take all these guys out at once, but Buck says I gotta roll to get off the bike in time. So I roll to get clear..."
"And?"
"Critical Glitch." Smolder smiled. "My street sam's boot gets caught on the handlebar as she jumps, and the last thing anybody heard was her screaming 'WITNESS MEEEE!' before the street corner exploded. And that was the first time I think I ever saw Buck cry from laughing at the table! It was the best and dumbest way I've ever lost a character!" Smolder laughed.
"Haha! I did it!" Dinky held a little box out in front of her, smiling wide. It had been wrapped with gold foil and a bright red ribbon. 
"Good job, Dinky! That's one quest down!" Scoots said, giving Dinky a low five. 
Scoots was glad for a reprieve from Smolder's funny but deeply horrifying story about fighting people possessed by evil bug ghosts tearing up Seattle. It wasn't so much that Smolder was a bad storyteller, but it sounded like she and Sunburst had experienced a million adventures with Buck that Scoots could never know about, and that made her feel a bit hollow.
"What made you pick that gift, Dinky?" Sunburst said.
"It's a secret! Shh! Now we just gotta find the dragon prince, and then we can go see mama and Buck!" Dinky cheered.
"Oh yeah, Buck! Is he...is he around?" Smolder said.
"Huh? Yeah, totally." Scoots said. "He's here hanging out with his..." Scoots looked over and saw that Dinky was now humming a little victory tune with her eyes closed. "...girlfriend. Dinky's mom. Don't worry; that's not his kid!" Scoots whispered.
"Oh, okay. He's here with his girlfriend. That he has. Got it." Smolder said, nodding slowly. Scoots looked to Sunburst for guidance, but he just shook his head.	
"Hey, how'd you meet Buck, Smolder?" Scoots said.
"You can probably guess." Sunburst snickered, then stopped when he saw the blind fury that had crossed Smolders' eyes. 
"It's embarrassing..." Smolder said.
"No, it isn't! Smolder noticed Buck after he won a short story contest put on by the school newsletter. He didn't realize she was following him around until a month later when I pointed it out. Turns out Smolder was a geek in denial, and Buck being, well, Buck, helped her to sort things out for herself." Sunburst recited. Actually, now that I think about it, Smolder called Buck big brother for a whole year!  Hey, actually, why did you stop calling him that?" Sunburst said. Smolder cracked him in the ribs, then.
"I dunno, Sunburst, why don't you tell everybody how you met Buck, huh?"
"Oh, come on, that's an actually embarrassing story!" Sunburst wheezed.
"Ooh, ooh, I wanna hear it!" Dinky said.
"Oooooh...ehhh, that's not a story for kids." Smolder said.
"Dangit..." Dinky pouted.
"Anyway, it doesn't matter. All that stuff happened a million years ago!"
"It was more like four years ago." Sunburst corrected.
"A zillion years ago! Hey, did Buck ever get any less oblivious?"
"Nah." Scoots said.
"No." Sunburst shook his head.
"Uh-uh." Dinky smiled.
"Some things never change. Alright, so now we've got my actual big bro to find! Any ideas, team?"
"Well, it would help if we knew his name, and what he looks like? I never even knew you had an older brother." Sunburst said.
"He's kind of a butt. But he means well, eh, sorta. His name is Garble; he's a little taller than you, Sunburst. Red skin, freckles, orange blonde?" Scoots and Sunburst looked at each other in shock.
"Garble!? You're related to that scuzzball!?" Scoots said.
"Yeah!"
"Messed-up front teeth? Calls everyone a nerd or a dork?"
"Yeah! Why?"
"But you're so cool! And he's so lame! I've only ever seen him do two things; hanging around in the hallway catcalling girls or doing the same thing with a joint in the parking lot!" Scoots said.
"That sounds like him, yeah."
"I'm surprised, Smolder. You don't seem all that offended by us talking about your brother in the pejorative." Sunburst said.
"Well, I mean, all that stuff you said is probably true. Look, you can't choose your family, right? Garble's not really a bad guy, he just needs to do a little growin' up, that's all." Smolder shrugged. "I try to visit him every once in awhile and maybe straighten him out a little, ya know?"
"Straighten him? He's the most typical straight guy I've ever seen." Scoots grimaced.
"Hey, now! I resemble that remark!" Sunburst said.
"Come on, Sunburst, you barely count! Starlight is basically a guy!"
"What? No she isn't! She's just a bit abrasive sometimes!"
"Same thing."
"Wait, Starlight? Sunburst, did you actually manage to hook up with that girl you were always blabbing about after class!? I thought she was made up!" 
"I'll have you know that she is very real and very caring when you get to know her!" Sunburst said.
"Pssh, yeah, she's caring all right. She cares a whole bunch about fighting monsters and stalking Adagio." Scoots said.
"Who's Adagio?" Smolder said.
"Don't you watch the news?" 
"Nah, it's too depressing." 
"Oh geez. Well, it's like, like she's this super villain that Buck dated for a little while, and it was fun, and stuff, but turns out she was just using him, so they had a fight, I guess and, well, it's complicated. Buck could tell it better." Scoots said.
"What? Buck? In the middle of some ridiculous trouble that he blindly wandered into? Who could imagine!?" Smolder laughed. Sunburst took his nose out of the air and laughed right alongside her, until they noticed that Dinky was once again charging down the way, yelling the word 'bathroom' at the top of her lungs.
"Dinky! Man, we need to put a bell on that kid. Wait up!" Scoots broke into a quick sprint, with Smolder lifting her dress to trot along, and Sunburst bringing up the rear.





Buck decided a few things in short order. He was definitely going to jerk off to the thought of Ditzy Doo in armor once he got home, and he never wanted to eat anything besides roasted turkey leg for the rest of his life. He found it increasingly difficult to relax as he watched Ditzy do her thing.
Sweat was beading on Ditzy's brow as she pulled an arrow back, shutting one eye. Buck saw her draw in a deep breath, and then the arrow thudded just off-center on a bull's-eye some twenty feet away. Buck clapped as Ditzy retrieved her arrows, most of which were in the grass around the target. Ditzy gave a short and embarrassed bow.
"Shooting is the hardest thing for me. I mean, with my eye, you can imagine..."
"Actually, I can't."
"Hm?"
"I can't imagine anything being harder than I am now, from watching you." Buck said. He saw Ditzy cover her mouth and suddenly turn back into the blushing demure woman that liked to sit next to him on the couch.
"Oh, shit, shit, I said that out loud, didn't I!?" Buck said. "Sorry, I don't mean no disrespect, Ditzy!" Buck waved his hands, nearly dropping his turkey leg.
Across the field and out of their eyeshot, Adagio rolled her eyes. Ditzy's red-faced bashfulness gave way to bubbly humor, and a familiar warmth in her stomach as she giggled her way over to Buck, who tasted like a covered pot about to boil over.
"Ugh. It only makes sense that she would wear the trappings of a knight. She's a goody-two shoes." Adagio grumbled.
Ditzy leaned on the other side of the fence, her back to Adagio as she talked to Buck. 
"It's fine, Buck. I'm just surprised! Since when are you into girls showing off? I thought you didn't like Rainbow Dash?"
"Huh? Oh, no, it's not 'cause she showed off all the time, it's 'cause she was mean to me. I like seein' people in their element. I just didn't know yours was doin' sexy lady knight stuff." Buck said.
"I guess I'm not as boring as you thought, hm?" Ditzy smiled.
"I never thought you were boring, Ditzy!" Buck said, finishing his turkey leg in one bite.
"Well, how come you never invite me to stuff, Buck?" 
"I dunno, you're usually busy. I don't wanna cut into your free time when you could be resting. You've always got things going on, you know?" Buck reached into the duffle bag at his side and passed Ditzy a clean towel and a water bottle.
"I guess that's true. But...you know, if you asked me, I'd make time for you." Ditzy took Buck's hand.
"Sure! But I don't want you to feel like ya have to. You do plenty for me already." Buck frowned.
"You wanna come in here and swing somethin' around, Buck?" DItzy brightened up.
"Here? In front of all these people?" Buck chuckled.
"Wha-no! I mean a weapon! Do you like swords?"
"Eh, axes're cooler than swords. Besides, I'm more of a lover than a fighter." Buck said.
"Could'a fooled me..." Ditzy muttered.
"Huh?"
"I said, um, you could've fooled me, the way you were swinging that axe on TV!" Ditzy recovered. 
"Yeah, fat lot of good that did."
"Well...what do you want to do next?" Ditzy said. Buck could think of a few things that he was sure would offend Ditzy.
"...whatever you want to do?"
"Buck, what's wrong?"
"Nothing! Nothing's wrong! Did I do something wrong?"
"No, Buck!" 
"Hey, didn't you say you wanted to do a spar, or something? How does that work?"
"Oh, like this! Hey! Yeah, you over there with the spear!" Ditzy shouted over Buck's shoulder. Buck craned his neck and saw someone in a full set of dull-looking armor point at their closed visor in surprise. They held a pike; a sort of elongated spear with a fine point.
"Yeah! You wanna go a round?" Ditzy said. The armor set flapped a hand nervously. "Don't be shy! I'm a little rusty anyways! It'll be friendly!" Buck noticed that Ditzy was good a projecting. A quick question of whether or not she was a screamer darted past the back of his mind.
The spear knight shrugged, but Ditzy's smile seemed to win him over. He walked through the gate, and a person in a yellow tabard, holding a black and yellow striped rod stepped into the arena behind him.
"Friendlies?" Said the lady that Buck assumed was going to be the ref. Ditzy nodded. "Best of three?" The spear knight gave a thumbs up. He was almost a head taller than Ditzy. "Weapons?"
The spear knight made a gesture that seemed a little sarcastic at the weapon in his hand. Ditzy reached into the duffle bag and carefully pulled out a smallish sword in a sheath. Ditzy smiled at Buck and pointed the sheath, so he held it in both hands as she drew it.
"What kind of sword is that?"
"Arming sword. It's like a side arm; for backup. Can you get my shield?" Ditzy said, turning around. Buck had honestly not noticed she was carrying this round shield on her back, probably because he'd been staring at her front and face.
Buck handed it to her and saw that it was about wide enough to cover her torso.
"What's with the bubbles embroidered on the front?"
"Oh, hah, they used to call me Bubble Trouble during practice!" Ditzy smiled.
"Why's that?"
"I think it was because of my bubbly personality! Or because I kept knockin' stuff over, who knows? Wish me luck? They look kinda tough." Buck reached, and Ditzy's hand found his. He kissed the back of her glove, thought about it, then pulled her in and kissed her cheek.
"Good luck, Muffin." 

Adagio smirked as Ditzy Doo, her least favorite dairy cow, armed herself and stood across the field from a slender brute with a spear.
"This should be fun. She's gotten a bit of a big head lately, and it will be lovely to see her get sand kicked in her eyes in front of Buck."
"What? Ditzy? Nah, she's kind of a limp fish, but even I know she used to really go for it down at the rec. People in town used to talk about it." Garble yawned. 
Adagio focused in on Ditzy. She tasted of trepidation still, but as she nodded to the referee and took her stance, her quiet, attractive confidence showed through. To Adagio, it tasted a bit like chicken parmesan; a simple dish that, according to some of the magazines that Adagio perused, was an easy meal to prepare in order to impress a date.
"So, Miss Ditzy Doo has more in store than just a padded bra."
"She doesn't pad her bra." Garble said. He was lost in his phone, and therefore dodged the daggers in Adagio's eyes. 

"Points are direct hits. It's best of five. No head shots!" Said the lady in yellow, holding her pole between the two combatants. Ditzy and the spear knight nodded solemnly, almost in unison. The lady looked to them both, then jerked the pole upward. "Go!"
Buck knew a thing or two about what it was for magical beings to clash; there was a lot of posturing and monologuing, and then some lasers or whatever would be shot back and forth until one side was defeated. A lot of the skirmishes that the Rainbooms had with villains were sort of like this, though Buck wasn't sure about the deal at Camp Everfree, since he was trapped inside a tent by vines and extraordinarily distracted. 
There was always pageantry to it and a sense of weightlessness; like you had stepped into an anime reenactment complete with lasers and monologuing. This was different.
Buck could dance around the issue, but he'd unfortunately been in more street scraps than he cared to mention. He understood how people fought each other, and even though this was for sport, he could see the steely focus on Ditzy's face. 
There was nothing weightless about this exchange; Ditzy stood solid and square, prepared to absorb any blow with her shield. 
One of Ditzy's eyes was focused on the center of her opponent, while the other seemed to be looking at the knight's feet. There was a tensing motion by Ditzy, and the spear raised. Not a single blow had been thrown, but the air between the fighters was filled with hushed anticipation.
The spearpoint jabbed, and Ditzy met it with her shield, but the moment she raised her sword, the spear thrust again. Buck forgot his lust for Ditzy at that moment. He watched the subtle shift of her hip as she slapped the spear with the edge of her shield, then brought the sword around at the spear knights' shoulder. The shaft of the spear rose and blocked, but Ditzy followed up with a slash at the side.
The yellow bar fell between them, and they returned to their neutral positions. 
"That's one to zero!" Said the ref.  Ditzy looked over at Buck to check if he was still watching, and what she saw was the look he got when he was focused on a piece of prose. All of his attention was on this fight, and Ditzy suddenly felt a spotlight on her. 
"Go!" The bar raised again, and suddenly Ditzy was backing up, blocking a flurry of jabs. Ditzy tried to hop left, but the spear knight stepped right, stabbing at Ditzy's exposed side. Ditzy's sword came down just in time to deflect the spear, then she dashed forward for the counter, but a heavy smack into her shield pushed her back. The butt of the spear had come around to strike, but the knight immediately brought the threatening point back between them.
"Right...spears are about space control. Looks like that guy is learnin' to respect his opponent; not givin' Ditzy a way in." Buck muttered. He could see Ditzy's chest rising and falling as she and her opponent circled each other. The spear knight punctuated every few steps with a stab, testing Ditzy's reach and staying out of it. Ditzy kept lifting a foot, then putting it back down; tensing to go in, then backing out, until her opponent thrust high at her collarbone. Ditzy caught the thrust with her shield, but another thrust came just as quickly at her foot. Ditzy tried to hop back, but she stumbled and took the spear to her leg instead.
"That's one to one!" The bar came down. Ditzy blew a strand of hair out of her eyes, looking to Buck. She caught his eye, and in response, he smiled and gave a reassuring thumbs-up.
"Go!" Before Ditzy could look back, the spear knight lunged and came at her shoulder with an overhand stab. Ditzy deflected, but the knight swung the spear down and managed to tag Ditzy on her sword arm.
"That's one to two!" 
"You got this, Muffin!" Buck said. Ditzy's tension seemed to disappear. She lowered her stance into a slight crouch and raised her shield up to her chin. From his angle, Buck could see a slight smile on Ditzy's face. 
"Go!" The ref said. The spear knight came thrusting again in the same way as before, but this time Ditzy pushed forward. She dodged a swipe aimed at her feet, then caught a strike from the butt of the spear. Ditzy grunted and pushed even further, pressing the spear flat against her opponents' chest, and with nowhere to move it, the spear knight planted his feet and bashed back with the haft over and over until Ditzy fell back. 
Ditzy looked like she was about to stumble, but as the spear thrust at her again, she lifted her shield and let it through! Buck gasped, but Ditzy winked at him. She had caught the spear under her arm, and though the knight tried to pull it free, Ditzy stabbed at his chest. It was a blow so hard that the knight let go of the spear and fell backward onto his ass. 
"Two, Two!" The ref said.
Ditzy reached over to help the knight up, but he slapped her hand away and quickly rose.
"You okay?" Ditzy said. The knight nodded, taking the spear back.
"Go!" The bar raised again, and this time the knight was all aggro.
Jab after jab of the spear was thrown, attacking Ditzy high, then low, then middle, trying to mix her up, but Ditzy's defense was too solid. She hadn't budged an inch, her gaze steely as she waited for an opening. The knight went high, and with a quick dodge, Ditzy charged in low, leaning into a mighty diagonal slash. The spear knight jumped back, but Ditzy kept coming, her steel flashed as it came to its mark, but the spear knight loosened his grip on the spear, pulled it back, and roughly shanked Ditzy right in the side of her leather breastplate. 
Ditzy's blow connected all the same, hard enough that the unbalanced knight fell ass over tea-kettle onto the ground, dropping his helmet.
"That's two to three! We have a winner!"
Adagio smirked at Garble with self-satisfaction, then saw he wasn't paying attention.
Buck clapped, but Ditzy didn't seem to notice. She ran over to the fallen knight, showering him with apologies. His helmet was beside him on the ground.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit you that hard!" Ditzy said, offering a hand. Ditzy gasped as she picked him up, noticing the purple locks and the blue eyes.
"That was a great move, Ditzy. When did you get so good at fighting?"
"Huh? Oh, uh, you know, you can't stay helpless your whole life, right?" Ditzy said.
"Glimglam, what're you doin' here!? I thought you'd be hangin' out with Sunburst?" Buck said, at the fence. Starlight's fleeting smile disappeared. She looked through Buck and sneered.
"I came to make sure you all were safe. Keeping an eye out for trouble is most of my job." Starlight said. She climbed over the short fence and stood next to Buck. "But it looks like trouble found you anyway. Sorry about this." 
Buck heard a slow, patronizing clap behind him. As he turned to look, he felt Ditzy's hand slide into his. 
Trouble just happened to be wearing a breezy wrap top and cut-off jean shorts. Her legs seemed to go on for years, but they ended in a pair of... gladiator-type sandals? Her hair was held in a high ponytail by a spiky scrunchy, and her expression as usual was like a Bond villain about to explain their latest death trap. A primal part of Buck's psyche stirred in its cage. It howled and rumbled the words 'Daisy Dukes'.
"Well, isn't this a surprise? I turns out that little Miss Ditzy Doo can handle herself in a skirmish? Color me surprised!" Adagio said. "And Buck, I never pictured you as fond of women in uniform! If I'd known that, I would have worn a cuirass to bed."
"Adagio, I thought I told you I don't wanna see you if you're just gonna solicit me."
"Oh, but I'm not here to solicit you at all! As a matter of fact; my appearance here is entirely coincidental to whatever it is you're up to today, so you can keep your little blue eyed guard dog on a leash." Adagio said, not even treating Starlight with a glance. 
"Then what are you doing here, Adagio? What, did you come to steal candy from babies, or kick a dog in chainmail?" Starlight sneered. 
"Is it so shocking to hear that I'm at this event simply to enjoy my evening? I even brought a..." Adagio reached over and smacked the phone out of Garble's hands, who had tottered up behind her. "I even brought a date." Adagio smiled with all the sweetness of a hyena.
"Is that Garble?" Buck squinted. 
"Yeah, that's right! I super scored with your girl, and she liked it so much she asked me out!" Garble pounded his chest and slid an arm around Adagio, which was promptly taken off her waist.
"Doubt it." Ditzy said, quietly. 
"Huh? You say somethin'? What're you jealous now?" Garble grinned. "You missin' me, baby?"
Starlight, Buck, and Adagio all looked at Ditzy with a dull horror, and she blushed brightly. 
"I said, I seriously doubt that!" Ditzy huffed.
"Well, that's gross. And also none of my business? Y'alright, Muffin?" Buck said, finally. Adagio rankled visibly at the term 'Muffin', then quickly returned to her classic smirk when she saw Starlight smile. 
Ditzy nodded and squeezed Buck's hand.
"Oh? Leaving so soon? What's the matter, Buck, feeling unnerved that I happened to find another man so swiftly?" Adagio said.
"Not really? Adagio, I got no doubt in my mind that you can get better than me. I mean, it's you. I know you, and your appeal is obvious. Frankly, I though you'd go and find yourself a millionaire or somethin'." Buck said.
Adagio's grin faltered, and the slightest blush crept onto her face. 
"Didn't think you'd pick a guy like him. I'm not one to judge, I'm just surprised s'all." Buck shrugged. Starlight looked from Buck to Adagio and stifled a laugh at Adagio's twitching eyebrow. 
"Surprised I banged both of your ho's, Buck?" Garble cackled.
"Shut up, Gar Gar! Buck banged your little sister!" Said a new challenger. Everyone looked left, save for Garble who cringed in terror.
"Sis!? What're you doing here? Wh-What're you talking about?"
"What am I doing here? I came here to see YOU!" Smolder yelled. "I thought you just blew me off, but instead I find you here hanging out with...a forty year old supermodel? What, did you throw your rent money at her OnlyFans?"
Adagio went pale, her impish grin tightening into a thin red line. Buck, on the other hand, doubled over and wheezed out a laughing fit. 
"HOLY SHIT THAT'S BRUTAL! That kind of burn could only come from one person! Smolder, is that you!?" Buck guffawed.
Smolder spun around and her vicious snarl melted into a toothy smile.
"Hey, Buck! Long time no see!" Buck and Smolder shared a low five that rushed into a handshake and then into a hug.
"How you doin'? Did I hear that right, you're here on a visit?" Buck said.
"Yeah, yeah, I came here for that big lug over there. Hi! Are you the girlfriend?" Smolder said, smiling at Ditzy.
"Uh, yes?" Ditzy said, looking at Buck, who vigorously nodded. "I'm Ditzy Doo. It's nice to meet you! I guess you guys know each other?"
"Yeah! College stuff! Hey, listen, nice job snagging Buck! Between you and me, you kinda have'ta drag him along kicking and screaming, huh?" Smolder stage whispered.
"Oh! Uh, well, uh..." Ditzy blushed, nervously looking from Buck to Smolder. Smolder slipped an arm around her shoulder as if they were old friends.
"No, but congrats, though! Just be careful; Buck can be, like, like a lot to handle, you know? Hey, Girlfriend, didja know that Buck likes it when you nibble on his--"
"OKAY, THANK YOU SMOLDER IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU AND WE'RE MOVIN' ON!" Buck said, smiling wide. Buck stepped toward Adagio, who had leaned forward to listen. Garble regarded his sister as if he was witnessing a murder in slow motion. 
"Hey, Adagio? Lemme apologize for what Smolder said. She didn't mean that; she's just upset." Buck said. 
Adagio went stock still as Buck boldly reached out and put a placating hand on her shoulder. A surge of his emotions filled her in an instant; brotherly care for Smolder, saccharine affection for Ditzy Doo, and small, tender concern for Adagio herself. And surrounding it all, his burning lust. Buck tasted like frustration and comfort at the same time. Whatever Ditzy Doo was doing to him, it clearly wasn't what he wanted, and now he tasted like a man in a cauldron that was slowly heating up. 
"Is that true?" Adagio said, turning slowly to Smolder.
"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. I...uh, overreacted." Smolder said,
"Not entirely. Adagio is categorically a villain, and you should be worried that she's hanging off your brother's arm." Starlight said. 
"Starlight, come on! She already said she's just here to hang out!" Buck said. His wonderfully tender grasp on Adagio's arm disappeared as he gestured in Starlight's direction.
"Do you honestly believe that?"
"You know what? You just reminded me; I came here to be with Ditzy today, not any of you guys. Smolder, how long're you in town? I'd like to catch up, but you're obviously on a mission, here." 
"Huh? Oh, I'll be around tomorrow if you wanna hang early."
"Cool. Adagio? I'm glad you're havin' fun, but I didn't come here for a double date, so maybe we can visit some other time, if you're cool about it."
"What?" Ditzy deadpanned.
"And, and if Ditzy is okay with it!" Buck said.
"Buck, are you serious?" Ditzy said.
"Well, if she's cool about it, I don't see the problem..." Buck said, then instantly regretted it as he saw Ditzy's expression.
"Well, I...I suppose." Adagio stammered.
"Buck? Do you want to go get something else to eat? I know that turkey leg wasn't enough for you." Ditzy said. She glared at Adagio, then took Buck by the arm. 
"...yeah! Yeah, I do, actually." Buck said. "A'ight ya'll, see ya in the funny papers!" Buck said. 
"How does he do that?" Starlight said.
"Do what?" Adagio said.
"How does he just power through you, like that? I don't get it." Starlight said.
"Excuse me!?" Adagio sneered.
"He's always been like that. I don't even think he knows how to stay mad at someone." Smolder shrugged. 
"You fucked him!? You fucked that dork!?" Garble said, finally recovering from his shock coma.
"That's not the point and you know it, Gar Gar! You said you would meet me here, and instead I find you hanging around with this one!" Smolder said, pointing at Adagio. 
"Aw, sis, it's not like that! I just got, uh, just got a little lost, yeah, that's it!" Garble scrambled. 
"Do you need me to get you a phone with a better GPS? Seriously." Smolder chided. 
"No! Okay, look, maybe I didn't want to come to your dumb nerd festival okay?"
"No, you didn't want to come and see me, even though I paid for your ticket and scheduled this and everything!" 
"Come on sis, don't be like that!"
"You're right, you're right. I'm sorry. Come on, Gar Gar, let's go try on some costumes!" Smolder said, taking his hand.
Garble backed away, and the two neurons wandering in his head suddenly bumped into each other, causing a thought to flare across the hazy ocean of his consciousness. This might have happened more often if he hadn't come out here a bit stoned in the first place.
"Nah."
"Nah!?"
"Nah. I'm gonna chill with this hottie over here for a while, until you chill out."
"You have got to be kidding."
"I don't think he is. Smolder, was it? It was lovely meeting you, but you seem to be upsetting my date. I think the two of us will respectably take our leave and catch up with you later." Adagio smirked.
"What!?"
"Shall we, Gar Gar?" Adagio said.
"Uh, yeah, sure, whatever." Gar Gar mumbled. Adagio put a hand on the back of his neck as if he were a child in need of corralling, and the two of them went and disappeared into the crowd. 
"Wow. I'm sorry that Adagio is happening to you today." Starlight said.
"And who're you!?" Growled Smolder.
"Starlight Glimmer. I'm kind of the protector of this city."
"Are you gonna protect that...brother stealing witch from these hands!?" Smolder said, raising a fist.
"You don't want to do that, trust me."
"Well what am I supposed to do!?"
"Honestly? Just keep an eye on them. She doesn't actually care about him, so she'll probably get bored and leave him on a corner somewhere." Starlight shrugged. "Sorry about your brother blowing you off. Kind of a dick move."
"Starlight? Is that you over there? I've been looking everywhere for you!"
Sunburst arrived on the scene,  lacking the company of Scoots and Dinky Doo. He was red in the face, probably from dashing over, and he looked more relieved than irate at Starlight.
"There you are! I was wondering when you would show up." Starlight said.
"Me? I thought you stood me up! We were going to play around at the faire today, where were you?"
"Where was I? I thought we were coming to the faire to keep an eye out for changeling infiltrators, since everyone around here already acts weird!" Starlight said. Sunburst slapped his forehead.
"Starlight, I love you, but don't you ever think of anything besides the job?" 
"Did you seriously think I would just wander around this place when the whole city is in danger?"
"The city is always in danger!"
"Yes! Exactly!" 
Sunburst and Starlight's bickering was suddenly cut off by Smolder's cackling.
"Oh, I get it! I see it, now! No wonder you two are together!" Smolder said, wiping a tear from her eye.
"What are you on about?" Starlight said.
"Buck and Sunburst used to have this same conversation every month! I used to think that they were dating!" Smolder laughed.
"...so, Starlight, did you find anything suspicious?" Sunburst said.
"So far the only thing suspicious around here is Adagio's taste in men. Er, no offense." Starlight said. 
"None taken." Smolder said.
"So, do you want to go get a flagon of mead, then?" Sunburst said. 
"...I guess." Starlight said.
"Come on." Sunburst took Starlight's hand.
Smolder blinked, and just as she realized she'd been ditched by pretty much everyone, Scoots walked out of the crowd, holding Dinky's hand.
"What'd we miss?"
"Ughhhh." Smolder said. "Where were you two?"
"Turns out bathroom lines at the ren faire are crazy long!" Scoots said. "Didja find your brother?"
"Yeah. Right! New quest! My big brother has been enchanted by an eeevil witch! I need you two to join me in watching over him so that he doesn't get enchanted any further! "
"Adagio?" Scoots said.
"Yep." Smolder said. Scoots nodded sagely. 
"ADVENTUUUUURE!" Shouted Dinky.
Far behind them, a cloaked figure skulked in the shade of one of the cottages around the fair. They were holding something small wrapped in a dark blue cloth, and as Smolder, Dinky and Scoots wandered back into the festivities, the cloaked figure followed far behind.




Buck and Ditzy were sitting next to each other in the mead hall. Buck had a silly grin on his face, while Ditzy was once again blushing. 
"Alrighty, say 'ah'."
"Buck, you don't have to feed me like a baby...people are looking!"
"Ah, see, you must've not read the fine print when you said you would go out with me. Dating me means doing cutesy couple shit in public! Before long, I'm gonna have a shirt that says 'If Found, Return to Ditzy Doo', and you're gonna have one that says 'I'm Ditzy Doo.'" Buck laughed. He was holding up a steaming artichoke heart covered in some kind of pale orange sauce at the tip of a fork, which Ditzy took a bite off.
"See? It's good!" Buck smiled. Ditzy nodded sheepishly and then swallowed. She stared into her beef stew for a second and frowned.
"...are you getting back at me for that thing with Garble?"
"Whaddya mean?"
"Well, I mean...me and him, we...you know."
"Oh."
"I mean, I mean, it was a one time thing, and it was definitely a mistake, so-!"
"What? No, I'm not mad. That's none of my business!"
"Really? You're not mad at all?"
"No! Look, I'm the last person in the universe to judge someone for sleepin' around, okay?" Buck said. Ditzy stared at her food, and a heavy silence sat between the two of them. 
"And besides, you're allowed to make mistakes.  Just look at me! I'm the weirdest mistake my parents ever made!" Buck said, taking a bite of his weird fried artichoke dish. 
"Come on, Buck. You're not a mistake." Ditzy said.
"Well, sometimes I feel like it. Point is, Ditzy, what's done is done, and I'm not the jealous type. It ain't my business who you've slept with, or who you're going to sleep with after me. It's fine."
Buck frowned as he realized that he'd said the sad part out loud. Intrusive thoughts suddenly swarmed around him, telling him that this is exactly how you fuck it up, this right here is how you fuck it up.
But then, he felt Ditzy's hand alight on his thigh and squeeze.
"I only have eyes for you, Buck. You know that, right?" Ditzy said.
"Oh, both of 'em? At the same time? Are you sure?" Buck chuckled.
"Don't be a jerk, Purple Prose!" Ditzy giggled uncomfortably. Buck's thoughts were racing; he needed to say something to make this better.
"I'm sorry about today...I didn't think Adagio would show up."
"It's not your fault, Buck."
"But it is, isn't it? She's only here because I'm here. I'm trying, Ditzy. I'm really trying to make our first date a good one."
"It's okay, it's okay! I'm having fun!" Ditzy said, but Buck could see her shifting in her seat. A voice in Buck's head told him he had to say something, do something to take Ditzy's mind off Adagio.  
"Hey...how long are we hangin' around here?"
"Why? Do you wanna leave, Buck?"
"Well, you know, there's a lot of people around here, and it's startin' to tire me out. Once the sun goes down, you wanna head back, kick everybody out and snuggle on the couch?" Buck said, low and sweet in Ditzy's ear. Please let this work, Buck thought.
"What about Dinky?"
"She's gotta go to sleep eventually." Buck said. His eyes were golden coals burning just over his glasses as he grinned at Ditzy.
"Were you thinkin' about a movie, Buck?" Ditzy said. Her hand stroked at Buck's thigh under the table, sliding very slowly toward an inevitable destination. Buck breathed out, finally settling into a role he knew how to play.
"Nah. I was thinkin' about some lofi, and some glasses of lemonade."
"That sounds nice. What else, Buck?" Ditzy purred, biting her lip. 
"I was thinkin' you and me with a blanket to cover us." Buck said. Comfort her. Be warm. Don't touch. Stay open. It's okay if she says no, don't pressure her, don't pressure her, don't pressure her. 
"Hm?"
"And nothin' underneath." Buck whispered. Ditzy's cheeks were burning by now, but she didn't dare stop. She scooted over on the bench and leaned against Buck, to his surprise. Her head rested on his shoulder as her fingers shyly traced around his zipper, and Ditzy Doo realized silently that she didn't care if people were looking. It felt like a revelation.  
"Why, Mr. Purple Prose...are you using that silver tongue of yours to proposition a fair lady knight?" Ditzy said.
"If the lady doth protest so much, she ought to find another use for this tongue." Buck said. It was a dare that Ditzy wasn't going to back down from. She had been waiting too long. 
"Do you...wanna eat my little muffin, Buck?" Ditzy whispered, squeezing his crotch.
"You've liked me for a while, Ditzy...I wanna make up for the wait." 
"And they say chivalry is dead~"
Buck and Ditzy kissed once more, and for the briefest of moments, Ditzy saw Adagio's "sex fiend" behind Buck's eyes. His tongue pushed into her mouth immediately but surreptitiously; his lips barely moving. To all the world, the kiss might have even seemed chaste and innocent, but hands under the table told a different story. If Ditzy hadn't pulled away, she was sure that Buck wouldn't stop; that he'd simply throw her on top of this table and claim her right there, and the shame that would follow was smothered by Ditzy's raw, wet excitement at Buck finally looking at her like a woman.
Ditzy pulled back slowly, then cringed as she looked into Buck's eyes. They were red.
"What's wrong?"
Ditzy didn't have a chance to answer, and whatever Buck was going to say next was lost as he laid his eyes on Adagio, who had come strutting into the hall at the least convenient time possible.
Just a bit ago, Ditzy had seen Adagio in a simple, trendy summer ensemble, but it seemed she had used her preparation time to dress up in...some anime shit. 
The pauldrons of a knight were there, surely, but the dark, gleaming breastplate had a ridiculous boob window, and in the place of faulds, one of Adagio's curvaceous thighs was exposed by a slit going up the side of a dark purple battle dress. She had a wide-brimmed alewife hat of the same color on her head, and at some point, she had gotten a rapier of ridiculous austerity belted to her waist. Everything on her was either very tight or looked like it could be carried off with a breeze, and Ditzy guessed her shining gauntlets and greaves were the only practical armor pieces on her body. 
"Oh! There you two are! I wanted to let you know that I'm going to participate in the games! Buck, did you want to come along and watch me show these plebeians some true historical swordplay?"
"Are you bein' serious, Adagio?" Buck said it almost indignantly, but Ditzy could feel him getting harder under the table.
"Why wouldn't I be, Buck? I learned to duel on a pirate ship, after all!"
"Well, I'm more talkin' about your outfit. What's all that supposed to protect?"
"My reputation for impeccable fashion sense, of course."
"But it doesn't even cover your heart! You're going to get hurt out there!" Ditzy said.
"Oh, Miss Ditzy Doo, why the sudden concern?"
"I don't wanna see Buck's friend get injured due to stupidity." Ditzy frowned.
"Is that it? Or do you simply not want to watch Buck get excited when a breeze catches my dress?" Adagio grinned through the barb.
"'dagio, I thought you said you weren't here to cause any trouble?" 
"Nah, she's super doubling down." Garble said, looking at his phone. He was wearing a poofy-sleeved princely get-up that he appeared to despise more than life itself. 
"Hush. It won't be any trouble for me to tear through the competition."
"No trouble!? You've got this poor man in poofy sleeves! You're all trouble!" 
"Oh, I'm trouble of the best kind, Buck, but I'm not here to harass you. I just felt the need to show off, since I'm here. The searing lust I can taste coming from you is certainly a bonus, but hardly the point." Adagio said.
"Buck, let's go." Ditzy said, rising with Buck's hand in hers.
"What's the matter? Were...oh, you were planning to participate as well, weren't you? Are you afraid I might embarrass you out there?"
"No. Actually, Buck and me were just talking about heading home early. We have a lot to catch up on." Ditzy smirked.
"That's probably a good idea. No offense, 'dagio, but it's best if I don't get to excited. You know what can happen."
"Oh please, Buck. I saw you watching your little girlfriend sparring! There wasn't an ounce of lust in you; you were focused entirely on the fight. It shouldn't be any different with me around."
"You're trying to tempt him, and it's not going to work." Ditzy said. Adagio leaned forward, her teeth sharpening. 
"Oh honey...if I wanted to tempt Buck, I wouldn't be talking about a contest; I'd be talking about a victory lap.  But never mind! I'll just go and have my fun, and Gar Gar can cheer me on." Adagio said.
"Uh." Garble said. It sounded like he was playing some kind of super obnoxious mobile game. 
"Of course, we both know how it would go. No contest at all." Adagio laughed.
Ditzy's grasp on Buck's hand turned into a death grip.
"Adagio, you're bein a fuckin' bully, and you know it. Cut it out." Buck said. Adagio seemed to deflate at that. 
"Buck, I didn't mean to--"
"You know what? Fine, Adagio. I'm sick and tired of you strutting around and cooing at my boyfriend like a cat on the sidewalk."
"Muffin, we don't need to escalate; we can just go." Buck said.
"No. I don't think so. She has been trying to start a fight with me from the moment she met me, and I'm done." Ditzy said.
"I'm not about to let you two fight over me!" Buck said.
"Oooh, look at me! My name's Buck and I don't want hot chicks to fight over me, boo hoo!" Garble said, suddenly invested in the conversation.
"Shut up 'Gar Gar'!" Buck said.
"Buck, it's alright." Ditzy said.
"Huh?" Buck said. Ditzy gave him a sweet and tender smile beneath eyes filled with determination.
"I already have you. And I love you. Do you trust me?" Ditzy said, kissing Buck on the cheek.
"With my lunch and with my life, Muffin." Buck said, with a goofy grin. He was distantly aware of Adagio making a gagging expression in his peripheral vision. 
"Will you trust your Muffin to handle this?" 
"You don't have to fight, Ditzy."
"I do if I want her to leave us alone."
"Are you two quite finished?" Adagio said. "I'd like to finish trouncing you while the sun is still up." Adagio smarmed. Ditzy rolled her eye.
"I'm going to head to the field. Don't keep me waiting." Ditzy said. She tugged Buck along, leaving Adagio to stand there, caught between irritation and amusement. For a moment, Ditzy Doo had a taste of cold fury, like the ocean at night. It was a flavor that was often reserved for caretakers, martyrs, and mothers. Adagio knew it well; because it was the flavor she always had whenever she had to come to the defense of her sisters. 
"Damn, that was hot." Garble said.
"...shut up, Gar Gar." Adagio muttered. 





"I wanna start by sayin' that this ain't my fault." Buck said.
He was now leaning on the fence next to the Proving Grounds again, but this time Starlight Glimmer was grimacing next to him, and Sunburst was on his other side. Just in front of him, Ditzy Doo did some rudimentary stretches.
"I find that hard to believe." Starlight said. Ditzy Doo held out her hand and Buck presented her heavy duffle bag. She reached in and pulled out a one-handed war hammer. 
"No, Starlight, I insisted. I'm sick of her coming into my life and mussing everything up. She needs to be taken down a peg, and I've got the...well, you know. 
"You do hammers? Huh. Never would'a guessed that!" Buck said.
"Oh, me and Marianne are old friends." Ditzy giggled. 
"Marianne? Huh. I probably would've named it Maxwell."
"Well, that's a good one, but this name makes more sense to me. Its a hammer for all the 'Mariannes' of the world."
"...I don't think I get it." Sunburst said.
The sun was just about to set. The bleachers were only sparsely populated, with Scoots and Smolder and Dinky sitting near the bottom.
"Maybe while the match is going on, you grab Gar Gar and then got get some candied apples, or whatever?" Scoots said. She held out a stick of cotton candy, then immediately started wiping Dinky's face with a handkerchief as the sticky sugar strands got caught in her faux beard. Dinky sat still, still cradling the shiny gift box she had gotten for her mother.
"That's not a bad idea..." Smolder said. She sounded a bit distant, and when Scoots followed Smolders' gaze, she saw that the dragon princess was watching Buck and Ditzy. "You like him, don't you?"
"Whuh? No! Not like that!" Scoots said. 
"Come on, you look at him the way I used to. You're not foolin' anybody." 
"It's really not like that. Buck...he's a sweetheart and all, but I'm not into him like that. I just...I like hanging around with him. He makes me feel like, I dunno. Safe. Like I can..."
"Be whoever you are? Like he's a big snuggly blanket, and you wanna wrap him around you? Makes you wanna be that kind of warm?"
"Yeah! Exactly. And, you know, Adagio is kind of the opposite. I'm on edge when I'm around her. She's dangerous and beautiful and I, I think I wanna be like that sometimes, too." 
"Hey Scoots, I know I just walked in on this whole thing, but can I level with you?"
"Sure."
"That woman is poison. I've seen exactly what happens to guys that hang with girls like her, and its pathetic. That's why I've got to get Garble away from her."
"I get it, I get it, but that's why, I think, I kinda want her to win this one." 
"What? Why?" 
"Well...Ditzy just wants to keep Adagio away from Buck. But I think maybe that's not exactly what's right? I dunno, it's hard to explain." Scoots said.
"No way! Mama's a big tough hero! She's gonna beat that witch!" Dinky said.

Adagio looked over her shoulder, and then charitably chose to not stare daggers at the small child. Garble was on the other side of the fence from her, predictably not paying attention. He would be no help, at least not willingly. 
She strode to the middle of the field, ignoring a wolf whistle that came from the audience.
On the other side, Ditzy Doo muttered 'Come on, Marianne' and stepped forward as well. The yellow bar dropped between them.

"Buck, are you seriously going to let Ditzy fight Adagio? She can swing a hammer, sure, but don't you think this is a little above her weight class?" Sunburst said.
"She almost beat Starlight." Buck shrugged.
"But Adagio is...well she's Adagio! She's the most dangerous thing in Canterlot!
"Look, this whole thing is really reductive, and I don't like bein' a prize, but maybe once they knock each other around some, they'll find some common ground. It's not like I can stop them."
"Buck is right. Adagio is..." Starlight said but considered her words as Buck glared at her. "...she's a bully. And some bullies just won't listen until you beat them up a little."

"Neither of you are wearing helmets. You both signed your waivers, right? No headshots, no blood." Said the ref. Both women nodded but didn't take their eyes off one another. "Alright. Well, what are the terms?"
"We keep going until one of us yields." Ditzy growled.
"Oh my, confident are we?" 
"No, just determined. Buck just wants to live a quiet life, without having to deal with monsters like you." Ditzy said. Adagio's cocksure grin went sour.
"Oh, so this is an RP." The ref mumbled. 
"No, he doesn't. Buck is just as much of a 'monster' as I am. Just because you've convinced him to repress his nature, that doesn't make him any less than what he is." Adagio said. 
"Buck has been a perfect gentleman. Since you've been gone, he's been cozy and relaxed. There's been no incidents, no magic, no nothing." Ditzy smiled.
"What did you do to him?" Adagio snarled. Ditzy nearly took a step back, because she saw a ravenous beast in Adagio's eyes.
"I made him comfortable. He's safe with me."
"Comfortable? Are you blind!?"
"Are you two ready?" Said the ref.
"Wait. If I win, you have to swear you won't come and bother us without permission." Ditzy said.
"Fine. When I win, I demand a bit of time out of Buck's week."
"What?"
"Aren't I magnanimous? You can keep him in your little bubble of monogamy for now. But I demand that you let me see to his other needs." Adagio smirked.
"You...you want to teach him magic, don't you?"
"You catch on surprisingly quick, little Miss Ditzy Doo."
"He'll never agree to that."
"Oh, he will if you suggest it. You're the only thing holding him back."
"You're deluded."
"I'm simply a woman who knows what her man needs, even if he doesn't."
"He's my man!" 
"If you insist." 
"Go!" The ref said. The bar raised, and Ditzy came charging forward. None of the measured care that Buck had seen before was in her hammer swings. It genuinely looked like she was trying to bash Adagio's face in. Adagio hadn't even drawn her rapier; she simply smiled and stepped around Ditzy's attacks with the greatest of ease. 
"Fight back!" Ditzy yelled.
"Why should I do that when I can let you defeat yourself? You're already halfway there with Buck. I can taste his frustration. Has anything at all changed since the day when you and I met?" Adagio said. 
Ditzy snarled and swung the hammer in a horizontal arc, but Adagio ducked and half drew her blade; catching Ditzy in the stomach with the pommel and knocking her back.

As the fight commenced, Garble felt a tap on his shoulder.
"Gar Gar, come on. We're getting out of here."
"What? Hell no! I wanna watch the babes fight!"
"No, you don't! You're just tryin' to blow me off!"
"No I'm not! I'm just having fun at the fair, like you wanted!"
"I wanted you to have fun with me at the fair!"
"Pssh, well you like boring nerd stuff! I'm just doin' what I want!"
"You want to watch two women beat the shit out of each other over a guy?"
"...yeah?"
"But Adagio doesn't care about you! She's just using you!"
"Yeah, so what?"
"Gar Gar, this is stupid! If you didn't wanna come out here, you could've just said no! What do you want to do? Just tell me! I just want to spend time with my big brother! What did I do to make you so pissed at me?"
"You wanna know? I want you to give me some space! Every time you come over, you act like I'm this big fuck off screw up that needs to be babied, but all I'm doin' is what I've been doin'! We can't all run off to the bay and get hooked on nerd shit and get a degree! Maybe if you stop acting like you're perfect and telling me how to be, I'd actually wanna hang with you!"
"Gar Gar, it's not like that! I just want what's best for you! If you would just try, I'm sure you could--"
"Stop callin' me Gar Gar, and stop telling me what to do! Just piss off, sis! Run back to the Bay for all I care! At least they fuckin' want you there!" 
"AUGGH! You're impossible!" Smolder said, storming back to the bleachers.

"You human girls are so uptight...you show your teeth the second another woman lays eyes on your man. What's so wrong with a little competition? Are you afraid of failing the audition~?" Adagio said. 
"Raagh!" Ditzy roared, coming in for another wild swing. Adagio stepped aside again.
"Has he even touched you since you've been together? Or is that too fast for you? Tell me the truth, Ditzy; are you afraid of him? Is that it? Or is he afraid of showing you who he is?" 
"Shut up! SHUT UP!" Ditzy yelled and didn't see the stream of greenish energy flowing from her body to Adagios.
Another swing from Ditzy, but this time, Adagio shifted and stuck her foot out. Ditzy just barely stopped her face from hitting the ground, but when she peered up at Adagio she was shocked to see a look of sorrow on her face.
"He's the only man in this world that can measure up to me, and you've tricked him into sitting in a cozy little cage. He needs me, Ditzy Doo. And you took him away." Adagio said, sliding the rapier out of its sheath. Ditzy went pale because she was sure then that Adagio was going to kill her. 
Ditzy kicked at Adagio's ankle, then when she dodged, Ditzy rose to her feet, huffing and panting as she raised her shield once more.
"You don't understand...Buck needs someone that will care for him. Someone to protect him. I was there when the changeling attacked, and you weren't!" 
"You think you can protect him?" Adagio said. She raised her blade. Her stance was like a fencer's, with a hand behind her back. 
"I know I can!"
"Fine. Protect him from me." Adagio thrust forward and the force of the blow shook Ditzy's arm behind the shield. And then Adagio jabbed again and again. She didn't bother targeting anything but Ditzy's shield, but every strike drove Ditzy back, further away from where she could see Buck watching. "You have to see it by now! Every moment he's with you, he's dancing around your feelings, wondering what he'll say that will offend you, his sweet, innocent little housewife!"
"He's not an animal like you! He needs to feel safe! All I want is for him to come to me for that!" Ditzy said. She jabbed the head of the hammer forward, finally catching Adagio in the chest and causing her to stumble back. Ditzy charged, but Adagio blocked her swing with the basket of her blade. The clashing metal rung through the proving grounds, drawing a gasp from the audience. 
"He's a man! He is far too dense to know what you want! He barely knows what he wants! You would keep him locked in a cozy little box for the rest of his life, letting him shrink himself down until he's nothing but a sweet little puppy that does your dishes!" Adagio snarled, trying to shake the sudden numbness from her hand.
And so Adagio came again, her blows drawing sparks as her blade glanced off Ditzy's pauldrons and then her greaves. The sun was in Ditzy's eyes and dazzling off Adagio's blade. 
"You're not protecting him; you're corrupting him! Ruining him!" 
There was another gasp from the growing audience as the sound of splintering wood echoed across the proving grounds.
Ditzy opened her eyes and saw that the tip of Adagio's rapier had pierced through her shield and very nearly her eye. Beyond the steel, Ditzy could see Adagio shaking with rage, and that ignited the fury in her heart. 
A great clanging thud of metal on metal rang through the air as Adagio stumbled back, her rapier pulled free of the shield. Ditzy Doo had kicked the plate covering her stomach hard enough to send her sprawling back toward the fence. 
Ditzy would not let her get away. She dashed forward and swung the hammer in a brutal arc that shattered the top of a fence post where Adagio was. Ditzy Doo kept swinging, spinning on her heels and swinging low, then high, then low again, but as that last sweep came, Adagio flipped into an elegant cartwheel spin away from Ditzy's reach. 
The crowd, now having truly ballooned in size, cheered, and Adagio smiled and bowed to them. Ditzy tried to take advantage of this opening, but even in her bow, Adagio slapped the hammer away with a flick of her blade. 
"Who are you to talk about corruption? You come into our lives and throw your hips around like a stripper!" Ditzy swung, and Adagio parried as if the hammer weighed nothing at all.  Her hair's color dulled a bit.
"You put your hands all over Buck and treat him like a piece of meat!" Ditzy feinted a swing, but when Adagio blocked, the hammer instead changed direction and swung up into her side, knocking her away.
The crowd cheered; Starlight Glimmer the loudest of all.
Adagio took the hit and spun away like a dancer along the fence, and then without even skipping a beat, she grabbed Garble by the collar and treated him to a passionate kiss. The audience cheered, and Ditzy saw a bit of shine sparkle in Adagio's hair.
Over on the bleachers, Scoots cringed as she heard the sound of wood creaking. She looked down and saw that Smolder's nails had dug narrow canals in the seat beneath her.
"Don't you have any shame!?" Ditzy shouted. 
"Shame!?" Adagio laughed. She rushed forward and jumped into a brutal kick that sent flinders of Ditzy's shield flying. Ditzy hit the ground hard, then started rolling as Adagio stabbed at her again and again.
"What use is shame for a creature like me!? Shame is worthless!"
*STAB*
"Shame is just a tool that the weak use to torture themselves!" 
*STAB*
"What good has your shame done for you!?"
*STAB*
Adagio's steel slashed down like a saber, hacking off the top of Ditzy's buckled shield. Ditzy tossed the shield away, then made a desperate swing at Adagio, forcing her to retreat. Ditzy was up on one knee just in time to block Adagio's vertical slash with Marianne. Adagio's hat had long since fled, and now strands of curly orange hair were hanging over her manic smile.
"At the other end of your shame, Ditzy Doo, there is only obscurity and misery. Shame is what keeps him from you! But I won't let it keep him from me! I won't let you keep him from what he could be!" Adagio hissed. Ditzy's arms shook as she held the siren's blade back.
"No! Buck needs me!" Ditzy roared. She feinted a kick, let go of Marianne and punched Adagio square in the jaw, sending her tumbling back in the dirt. As Adagio picked herself up, Ditzy kicked her in the chest and knocked her back again, and when Adagio tried to bring her blade up, she screamed as Ditzy stomped on her hand. 
"Woah, woah, woah!" The ref said.
"He loves me! You say you care, but all you see in him is a sex machine!" Ditzy pointed her hammer at Adagio's throat. The siren was on the ground, red welts forming where Ditzy had hit her.
"You still think this is about sex?" Adagio coughed.
"Yield! Yield now!"
"You will never be enough for him...!" Adagio spat.
"YIELD!" Ditzy screamed, pressing the hammerhead to Adagio's neck.
"Muffin, stop!" Buck said. His hand was over hers. Ditzy looked over and saw an expression of horror on Buck's face. "You've made your point. You're hurting her, so please. Stop." 
Ditzy looked to the bleachers. When her eyes fell on Dinky, the little girl hid her face against Scoots' side. 
"Adagio, give it up." Buck said. Adagio's eyes filled and overflowed with a mixture of emotions.
"I'll never give you up, Buck."
The crowd sat in rapt silence, watching this fight that had gone so much farther than a simple spar. All spectators focused their attention on the arena, save for one. 
Scoots was the first to hear it. It was a tingling chime, distant and yet close like something out of a dream. She turned her head and saw a figure in a dark cloak secret something beneath their robe, then retreat behind the bleachers. She heard a low growl and felt an odd heat. 
Smolder's lips curled back in a snarl, baring her teeth, which to Scoots looked suddenly very sharp. 
"Oh...we should go." Scoots said.
"I don't wanna look..." Dinky said, muffled against Scoots.
Smolder's eyes were focused entirely on Garble, who was naturally watching Adagio. Smolder's pupils dilated into slits.
"We should go now!" Scoots said. She scooped Dinky up in her arms and made a break for it.
The bleachers groaned and splintered. A blazing column of flame had erupted from them, causing the audience to flee in terror. Everyone looked askance, save for Adagio who stared at Buck as she got to her feet. His hand was in Ditzy's, seemingly on instinct.
The pillar of flame tightened into a jet, then diminished into a puff of smoke escaping from the jaws of a great reptilian beast. Where Smolder had been, there was a creature with a pair of long, powerful bat wings and curling orange horns, crouched like a hunting hound over the crackling bleachers. Her lustrous scales were the same color as the twilight, gleaming as the great wings beat, carrying her into the air.
"Smolder...? What the hell?" Garble said. 
"Ah, shit. Here we go again." Buck said.
The beast roared and broke into a dive. Her talons extended and flames sparked from her tongue.
"SMOLDER WANT!"




> ((Explicit)) Bonus Chapter - I Love The Night (Blue Oyster Cult)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few months before the fateful night that Buck met Adagio, things were considerably more quiet. Buck was inching his way toward a depressive episode, but he didn't quite know it. At the moment, he was simply getting by while carrying the weight of working in food service purgatory.
But all rough weeks have to let up at some point and allow a worker to sit back and relax. At the end of the day, Buck was a man of simple pleasures. 
Like, a lot of them. 
He liked his cartoons, his movies, his video games, he liked adding to his porn collection, he liked his books and he liked his roleplay.
Any one of his varied hobbies served as a fine enough distraction from the drudgery of his everyday life, but he could only ever afford to invest in one of them per every few months. The cheapest of these options by far was literature, because the library was within walking distance, so he dedicated the twilight hours of his Saturdays to reading.
Canterlot actually had a number of libraries to peruse, and Buck had sworn at least once that he'd tour them with a special lady if he ever found one, but the Dusty Pages Memorial Library was the closest and most preferred. 
It was a brick building that was clearly a huge warehouse in a previous life, but was now a beautiful testament to the wonders of community funding. There were two levels that seemed to go on for half a city block, and a whole wing of the building dedicated to study rooms that one could rent out or just sit in if they were vacant. In harsher times, this had been a safe haven for Buck to get away from the cold of the city streets, and now, it was a similar retreat from the grind of the working week.
Buck wordlessly closed the door to his usual study room, a glass window his only remaining connection to the library at large. 
There were two big leather arm chairs flanking a squat coffee table, some pillows stacked in a neat pile in the corner, and even a wide window sill with a cushion of its own that Buck liked to refer to as the 'fainting couch'. 
Buck placed his stack of books to sample on the table, then reclined in his preferred chair. With a thick paperback in hand, he closed his eyes and let the stresses of the week slide off his back.
This was his temple; to Buck it was like lounging in a warm bath of the mind, and it would be perfect if he could introduce some lo-fi and scented candles, but he respected the space far too much for that. Buck opened his book and waited.
The door clicked near silently.
Quiet footsteps dragged across the carpet, and then the coffee table creaked under the weight of a book stack far more prodigious than Buck's sampling. A figure landed on the fainting couch, onto a back pillow that never moved.
A neck cracked, then a set of fingers, and Buck cracked his own fingers in salute. 
It was their code. Talking would be allowed today.
Pages rustled in both laps, and the evening began.
"Another Anne Rice, then?" Buck said. "Aren't you tired of that old pervert and her squad of ninja lawyers?"
"I should think you'd enjoy the work of someone that adores writing about your home so much." Said a stuffy, feminine voice.
"I have, I have. They sort of run together, though. Imagine walking with her in the French Quarter; an old lady that stops to examine every screen door and window like an architect version of J.R.R. Tolkien. Your coffee would get cold before you made it down a block."
"Hm."
"Which one is it, if you don't mind me asking?"
"The Witching Hour." 
"Again?"
"Again."
"How many times do you need to read a story about a woman cucking her man with the smoke monster from Lost before you get bored?"
"It's engrossing. Or it would be if you weren't determined to make the process of reading it into a chore."
"Sure, if you say so. Poor guy."
"You're being a nuisance."
"Aren't you used to that by now, my dear?" Buck smirked. He spied a smile in return.
"I see you've put your hands on the only Neal Stephenson book that people talk about outside of the Google office."
"Yeah, I'm giving Snow Crash another try."
"That book is the Maximum Ride of the Cyberpunk genre."
"Come on, it predicted the the nature of the internet."
"No, it predicted the nature of VR chat."
"Tomato, potato, darling. Tomato, potato."
"It's pulpy."
"It's fun. The only reason I bounced off it was because I get a giggle every time I read the name 'Hiro Protagonist'."
"My lord, don't you think that book is a little too baroque for you?"
"Says the woman reading the Witching Hour."
"Says the man who makes fun of the Silmarillion at every opportunity."
"I only make fun of books that I've read, unlike someone I happen to know. I'm not afraid of fine and granular details; I just don't like it when they pull away from the moving plot. Imagine if every scene in your favorite movie opened on an unbroken, thirty minute shot of the environment around your characters, and then showed a wiki article about the, I don't know, the masons and crafters that built the town the story starts in. You'd be bored to tears."
"Did you come here to make fun of my choice in half-week literature?"
"I came here to read, Moon Dancer."
Buck looked over his stooped glasses at his guest. 
She was a petite woman with cream colored skin. Her hair was the color of crushed raspberries, shot through with streaks of dark and pale purple. Her bangs were kept out of her round face by a messy hair bobble, and she had a pair of beaten up horn rimmed glasses in front of her grape colored eyes. Those glasses, Buck reasoned, were held together by old tape and sheer force of will.
She was wearing what she always wore on these get-togethers; a thick and formless sweater that was maybe more rug than breathable fabric, a mauve skirt and a pair of pink knee socks. A scandalous bit of chubby, sumptuous absolute territory peeked out from between those last two features, which Buck made a habit of ignoring to the best of his ability. 
She preferred to keep her shoes off when she lounged in here, and so Buck kept his off in solidarity.
At the moment, she was glaring straight back at Buck with an expression that spoke of a million pedantic arguments.
"Then maybe you should read the room. You'll never win my hand if you don't stop insulting my literature." Moon Dancer smiled, and her thick red eyebrows relaxed.
"You had your chance at the cotillion, you." Buck chuckled.
This was their ritual. It was a sort of light roleplay; they would trade pithy jabs at one another during chapter breaks or what have you, and in this way they would discuss their tastes. Every once in a while, the way they regarded one another would change; some weeks they were criminals comparing the books they had stolen, other times they were worst enemies trying to one up each other with difficult reads. This week they were jilted lovers from some sort of historical drama, sneering at each other across the dinner table, having long forgotten the feeling that their marriage was in any way functional.
It was fun. They weren't exactly friends; as a matter of fact, Moon Dancer insisted that their rendezvous were best kept to a structured minimum, but together they formed an insulated bubble of escapism that each were loathe to abandon.
"There's been some mutterings around the clucking hens that like to congregate downtown. They say I should run from you with my arms flailing, because you hide some sort of terrible secret." Moondancer said.
"You can tell them for the last time that yes, I am a vampire and no, I'm not looking for any thralls. Oh, how they go on."
"Hm, perhaps if you ever walked among them in the daylight, they might change their tune."
"Oh yes, let me go prancing about their ranks pretending to be anything besides a creature of the night. That will go well."
"They say you're a dastard and a charmer with a dark and salacious past that is outside my understanding."
"They ought to hold their tongues until they have pockets deep enough to hold something other than cheap gossip."
"Aren't we touchy this evening?" 
"Only because my dearest is smarming at me about a past she knows nothing about."
"Of course, you're right. Who am I to meddle in the affairs of a night walker?"
"Enough." Buck said it firmly. "That's not who I am anymore." 
"But you have so much to teach..."
"I said that's enough, Moondancer. Whoever you're talking to, it's none of their business what I've done, and it's none of yours." 
"...sorry."
They both got back to their reading, and nothing else was said for that session. 
The next week, Moondancer didn't show up, and Buck wondered if he had been too harsh, but the week after that, he heard the door click, a tall stack of books shaded his own modest pile, and after a tense few seconds, Moondancer cracked her fingers.
"Good of you to join me again after your trip out to the countryside. I worried that I might have abraded our rapport beyond compare." Buck said.
"For worse or ill, my dear, I could scarcely stay away. Without you, who would be left to sneer at me over their glasses?" Moondancer said. "And who would scare away your other suitresses, lest you find someone else's taste to mock?"
"And betray the great and snarky devotion you've shown me? Never, love, never."
"And here I thought you'd prefer a submissive."
"They are an acquired taste."
"Hmph. And how is Mr. Stephenson treating you?"
"Fair, I suppose." Buck looked at the bookmark in Snow Crash, which had crawled to about the center of the paperback by now. "Progress in the narrative has been stunted by my busy schedule of faking enthusiasm for drooling dullards."
"Truly your wit is wasted in that bakery. Or perhaps you're simply slowing down in your old age?"
"Said the crone to the old bard."
"Would you not be a wizard?"
"Of course not. Wizards are virgins; this is known."
"Ah yes, and you're as opposite to a virgin as a bard can be, so I'm told. You're a bit of a legend in some circles, did you know?"
"I'm aware." Buck snapped.
He saw Moon Dancer take a long glance at him from the corner of his eye.
"Would that you might share your wisdom with a humble spinster, you may be handsomely rewarded."
"And what would that reward be?"
"My respect, admiration and gratitude."
"Is that it?"
"Is a tutor's fee more to your liking?"
"A fee? From my beloved?"
"...A favor?"
"A favor for a friend?"
"We're not friends."
"Sold. Let's start right now. Question one; why the fuck do you want to learn this, Moon Dancer?"  Buck said, looking up from his book, his character discarded in an instant.
"Why do you want to know?"
"Because, I'm worried you're going to go and do somethin' stupid. What're you trying to get out of this?"
"I'm looking for a change of pace. Normal roleplay isn't enough, and I'm...I want to find out what I'm capable of."
"So start an OnlyFans! Class over." Buck said, standing up.
"That's too impersonal. I want to touch. I have this fantasy..."
"Of being kidnapped?"
"No, of-"
"Of being arrested?"
"Of being an escort for hire!" Moon Dancer said. 
"You wanna tie people up and whip them?"
"No...I was thinking something more sensual and, um, niche. I have a character."
"Of course you have a character." Buck said, hand on his forehead.
"I was asking around for a proper tutor, and somebody online sent me a video."
"No..."
"I didn't want to click it, because I recognized you in the thumbnail."
"No no nooo..."
"The title was 'Bachelorette Party.'"
"GOD DAM--MMMPH!" Moon Dancer pounced from the fainting couch and covered Buck's mouth with both hands.
"SHHHHH! These booths aren't completely soundproof! Keep it down!" Moon Dancer whispered. 
"I'm not teachin' you that. I can't teach you that! I guess I could, if you got your hands on the right equipment."
"That won't be a problem for me."
"'course not. You've been thinkin' about it for a while, haven't you?" Buck said. He sat grumpily back onto his seat. 
"I mean, you were a machine back there." Moon Dancer blushed.
"Not the damn video! I mean askin' me to, what, teach you how to be a service dom?"
"Yes...I, well, I hoped maybe you'd be willing to help me break into the business."
"No one wants to be a sex worker, Moon Dancer."
"I want to try." Moon Dancer said. Buck looked up and saw raw determination in her eyes. 
"...fine. I guess this is my Saturday now. Where do you want to meet and talk about this?"
"Is here not good?"
Buck raised his eyebrow.
"Anybody could be listening by the door. Not exactly soundproofed, right? You're talking about working in a legal grey area, Moon Dancer, and that's only the first risk. Do you really want someone to walk by and hear you talkin' about pegging, or whatever?" 
"...right. I guess...we can do it at my place."
"Where's your place?"
"Oh, uh...you can't miss it." Moon Dancer said, showing Buck her phone.
"You gotta be fisting me right now." 




The east end of Canterlot was mostly a mystery to Buck. It was the part of town that was too expensive to be ghetto and too close to the real business of the town to be suburban. Suburbs was for the south side. Here, it was a whole lot of expensive-looking houses and niche stores for people with a lot of free time and deep pockets. The Saturday after agreeing to be Moon Dancer's thot tutor, Buck found himself standing in front of one such store. He checked his phone, looked at the sign, then checked his phone again.
"Cauldron Bubble's Sanctum of Sorcery. This better not be a prank." Buck said. 
The store in question would have fit in extremely well as an item shop in a mid 90's jrpg. 
It was a two-story gothic style house, that had a big glass display window on one side of the door. The sign above it was hand-carved and painted, and the entire aesthetic belied the Tolkien-esque taste of its owner.
Buck passed through the door and heard a jingle. The space was dimly lit due to the drawn curtains, and everywhere Buck looked he saw paraphernalia from the mystical parts of world cultures. 
A dream catcher here, a replica sarcophagus there, a greek sundial with geographically inappropriate nordic runes carved into it, tarot decks in a bunch of different varieties, bottles and jars containing a dizzying array of materials with funny names and dragons. Just, fucking dragon statues scattered all around the space, everywhere Buck looked he saw a dragon.
So many different cultures lacking so many different contexts gave Buck the impression that the owner was a middle-aged metropolitan woman who had studied abroad once and came back with a backpack full of crystals.
"Hello? Anybody workin' here?" Buck said.
As if on cue, a cloud of purple, sparkling smoke erupted into the center of the shop.
"You summoned meee!?" Said a feminine voice through the haze. Buck's only response was to cough around what he guessed was a lung-full of glitter. 
"Oh, sorry! I left the windows shut!" The voice said, and then Buck heard the clacks of windows, the waving of a fan, and then he could finally see again. 	
She was a woman that looked like she was just about to scratch at the status of "senior". Her skin was a dark orchid sort of color, and her pale pink hair went down nearly to her back. She had various crystalline ornaments of clashing aesthetics in her hair, a pair of small round glasses on her face and a plain white apron over a tasseled hippie dress. She was also wielding a staff that looked too expensive for a normal cosplay; a gnarled oaken affair with a crystal clutched at the top.
"Welcome to my outlet of the occult! I am Cauldron Bubbles; arcanist extraordinaire, and this is my humble magic shop! Here you may find answers to life's greatest mysteries, wards against the forces of evil, and the components necessary for spellcasting, all at a competitive fee!"
"Uh, is that staff from Dragonlance?" 
"But if those aren't to your liking, we've recently expanded our selection to incorporate tools of japery, jocularity and tomfoolery for the aspiring jester!" Cauldron Bubbles went on. She stepped over to a tall shelf populated by crystals of various colors, and pulled it aside to reveal a wall of whoopie cushions, fake vomit, squirting flowers and other pranks.
"Wait, hold up, I'm not-" Buck began.
"Ah, I see! If your proclivities are of a more salacious nature, may I recommend our Erotic section, which may provide you with more fitting tools!" Said Cauldron Bubbles. She pushed on the prank section wall, which swung in like a door, revealing a velvet curtain, which was pulled open to reveal gags, plugs, bindings, ropes, and a veritable arsenal of phallic-shaped objects.  
"...well, that's actually a decent selection. Look, lady, I was wondering if you could help me?"
"Ah, ah ah!" Cauldron Bubble tsked and pointed at a sign hanging behind the register that read; 'Sorry. Questions answered for paying customers only.'"
"Okay, but I'm not a customer."
"Well then! It's fair to say our business is concluded, isn't it?" Cauldron Bubbles stepped behind her counter, sat on a stool and abruptly began flipping through a novel. Buck squinted.
"...is that The Prestige by Christopher Priest?" 
"Don't make me tap the sign, sweetheart." Said Cauldron Bubbles.
"...that was always Trixie's favorite back in school...hey wait, I know you! You're Trixie's weird aunt!" 
"Oh joy, my reputation precedes me! Are you interested in making a purchase?" 
"No, actually, I'm here on--" Buck's sentiment was cut off by the staff tapping loudly against the wooden sign.
"Fuck, fine, alright let me...let me have those Call of Cthulhu dice you've got there on the counter!" Buck said. 
"Ah, a fan of the Mr. Lovecraft's are we?" Cauldron Bubbles said, ringing Buck's pocket change.
"Nah, that dude was scared of air conditioners. Also racist. But the mythos is a fun rabbit hole." Buck said, slapping some dollars on the table. "Games rad, too."
"Did you have a question?" Cauldron Bubbles said. Buck opened his mouth, just as a door opened next to the counter.
"Hey...I just wanted to come down and ask if my guest ever arrived? I don't want him to get the wrong idea, and-oh." Moondancer said.
She had metamorphized into a cozy sleeveless pyjama top and a frilly little skirt. They were jet black with a reddish trim and revealed to Buck some small details about her form that he'd never guessed at. Moon Dancer's body, no longer obscured by a thick sweater, was curvy and pear-shaped.
"Oh? Oh, sweetie, is this your date!?"
"It's not a date! He's just a tutor! Buck, come on up, don't mind the landlady. She's been sampling for the new display we're putting up in here." Moon Dancer gestured at a velvet curtain covering a chest-high something or other next to a window.
"What's that?" 
"Behold! Our newest selection!" Said Cauldron Bubbles, suddenly standing next to the curtain. She pulled it off with a flourish, revealing a variety of recreational edibles that were 'certain to reveal the path to the astral plane' according to the sign. "We have gummies, powders, baked goods and tinctures!"
"And at a modest price. Truly the gift for the mage who has everything." Moon Dancer finished.
"Huh. Well, uh, I guess the sampling went well?"	
"Oooh my yes! Now, you two run along upstairs! I don't want to hold off your cute little study date!"
"Not a date." Buck said.
"We're not teenagers; I'm almost thirty!" Moon Dancer said. 
"Then I don't need to tell you to use protection! Now shoo!"
"She's got a point."
"Shut up, Buck!" Moon Dancer said, ushering him up the stairs.
"Oh, and Moon Dancer, sweetie, your package arrived! The one from your friend in Virginia? I left it by your door!"

As it turned out, the back of the magic shop was a loft style apartment. Buck was led up a set of stairs and into a room that was larger than his entire living space. Moon Dancer's name was on the door.
What Buck bore witness to was a magnificent diorama of a woman who had been through many quiet phases from her teen years on, accumulating chochkeys and collectibles from a great swathe of fandoms and fashion movements, but could not bear to part with even a single bauble. The shelves and stacks of book dominating the western wall showed a timeline of media obsessions going back to a bit before Buck's own childhood. There was a clearly antique wooden desk in the center of the home library. Everything that Buck saw in this space was things he would have described in his tweenish years as 'some girl-ass-girl stuff' but would now mostly refer to as a vertical slice of cool nerd shit with a striking emphasis on the dark and gothic and very frequently british.
It's not as though the space was messy or crowded; everything looked like it was in its proper place, and there was plenty of room to walk and turn and probably dance to soft music in the light of the city at night filtering through the wide southern window like some sort of sexy, stocking wearing witch whose patron demon is fucking hot topic. That was the trip that Buck took as he stepped into Moon Dancer's bedroom. He zoned out, then looked at Moon Dancer, who seemed halfway between bemusement and annoyance as she placed a package on her bed.
"This place looks like the SuperWhoLock fandom barfed all over the walls." Buck said. 
"I'd find that insulting if I didn't know how bad your taste is." Moon Dancer said. 
"Hah! Got 'em!" Buck laughed. "No, but for real, why are you trying to do this?" Moon Dancer sat on her four-poster bed and took a moment to stare out the wide window. The sheets were dark and covered with heavy metal album-looking runes.
"It's a part of me that I never get to play with...I just want to see how far I can take it." Moon Dancer said.  Her back was to Buck as she opened a sealed delivery box with what he guessed was a letter opener but looked a hell of a lot like a sacrificial dagger from some pulp story.
Buck took a seat on the floor next to the bed and looked up at Moon Dancer. There was a crinkling of paper and then Moon Dancer gasped quietly and shut the box, then placed it on her nightstand.
"Is that some part of your costume?"
"...you could say that." Moon Dancer said, sitting on the bed. 	
"You're gonna wanna take notes." Buck said. Moon Dancer, apparently a psychic, had already laid some learning tools out on her bed, and after shuffling into a comfortable position atop a small mountain of pillows, she opened the pad, pen at the ready.
So, Buck launched into a long-winded diatribe of the least sexy parts of getting paid for sex, hoping to whatever gods were listening that Moon Dancer would get bored with it and then drop the whole deal. At first, it seemed like the strategy was working, with Moon Dancer dutifully taking notes with an impeccably lethargic expression, but as he went on, she shifted to staring at him like he was a proper teacher. It took Buck three sessions to get to the bit about the law, and by then he was sure that he must have been a hypnotist, because by now Moon Dancer was actively sitting next to him on the floor next to the bed to show her notes in progress.
"The most important thing is location. You need to study the bylaws of your area so you can figure out if what you're doing is legal in the first place. No, you don't need to look it up. I can tell you that when it comes to Canterlot, for the specific purpose of personal prostitution with regards to BDSM culture, roleplay or escorting services, it's legal. So there's the good news. Bad news is that you're not allowed to publicly advertise or solicit, and I can tell you that sites like Craigslist aren't gonna let you advertise there. So you've got to stick to places online that'll--"
"Excuse me? What does this all have to do with being an escort?"
"Everything! You need to know how to get your name out there legally, and that's hard. I had videos, but you're starting with word of mouth, and that's a lot harder."
"I'm sorry, did you say videos? As in plural?" Moon Dancer said.
"The Bay was decidedly unkind to me, madame." Buck stumbled into their little coded roleplay.
"I'm sorry to hear you worked under poor circumstances, my lord. Is this topic too sensitive?"
"Not at all, madame, not at all. I'm not proud of much, but I am proud of some of those sessions."
"Are any of them as...impressive as the bachelorette party?"
"Well, that one was special. I came away from it with the nickname 'Bachelor Buck'. It was a whole weekend, and if I'm bein' honest, I was...well, let's just say I was experiencing some impairments to my inhibitions at the time, and leave it at that. The point is, I came out of it with a niche, but a new reputation that skewed everything else.
"Okay..." Moon Dancer did some scribbling. "What else?" 
Buck prodded at the old scar in his mind. What else was important?
"You need to set some hard limits on what you are and aren't willing to do. You can't exactly specialize with this stuff; if you want clients, they have to know what's on the table, and if you're trying to make money, you need to leave a lot on that table." Buck said. A grim look crossed Moon Dancer's face.
"I'm not trying to sleep with the whole city..."
"Well, that's another point. What're you trying to do in the sack? What's your preference?"
"..."
"Moon Dancer, come on, are you seriously getting embarrassed now?"
"I want to escort, as in, I want to play a role for my client, even in public."
"Okay, that's fine. What else?" 
"I want to soft dom..." Moon Dancer said, covering her mouth and twirling a lock of her hair.
"You just said that in the most sub way possible." 
"That's why I need help!" 
"Okay, okay, let's back up. If you want to go professional--"
"No, no, this is just a little hobby thing!"
"Okay, then maybe just shoot for one client and then figure out what they want specifically. In the meantime, you can develop your persona.'
"Excellent! When do we get to that part?"
"After we talk about safety! Now, what're you packing when you walk into your workspace?"
Moon Dancer stood up then, towering over Buck.
And then, before Buck could say anything, Moon Dancer lifted her pyjama shirt over her head. Her naked breasts dropped free; a pair of plump orange-sized handfuls with tiny nipples.
"Will these suffice, my lord?" Moon Dancer said.
Buck, who had been experiencing a long and not unpleasant dry spell since he quit the business, suddenly felt himself grow hard. He smiled, shut his eyes.
"Not remotely what I was talkin' about." Buck exhaled. 
Buck heard a squeak and a frantic rustling of silk, and then Moon Dancer was apologizing, over and over.
"I'm so, so, sorry, I think I got my signals mixed, I didn't mean to imply--I-I wasn't trying to uh, well, I'm sorry!"
"Moon Dancer-"
"You came here to help, and I didn't mean to make you think I was, it just seemed like the mood was-"
"The mood?"
"I guess I'm just inexperienced." Moon Dancer said, finally.
"Are you serious? I know you used to clam slam with Twiggy Sparkle back before she moved to Capitol Hill, don't even front!!" Buck said. Moon Dancer turned red.
"Well, boys are different, okay!? I haven't really done boys! I guess I thought you were signalling me, and--"
"Signalling? That's...okay. Sit." Buck said.
Moon Dancer sat on the floor.
"...good enough. Listen. Consent is the most important bit of all. Knowing what is and isn't okay, making sure you understand your client's limits and how and when to initiate...it's the axis that this whole thing spins on."
"Are you still lecturing me?"
"Once you and your client have decided on your specific rules and what's expected, that's when you can set your session time. Then you can start doing flourishes like that."
"You're still lecturing me."
"And that move was more like a "tame me" sort of thing. It's still submissive, but a bit more devious. You said you were trying to soft dom, right? That means you're the one that makes the demands and the moves. Less reactive, more proactive, you get me? Bold." Buck said. Moon Dancer sighed.
"...Understood. Would you mind if I tried an exercise?"
"Sure." Buck smiled. His breath had slowed and he'd managed to keep his focus on being helpful instead of being horny. He was proud of that. He didn't want Moon Dancer to get the wrong idea.
"It's incredible, the complacency of the powerful." Moon Dancer said, smirking. "You stand and you lecture from a place of practiced ignorance, underestimating those around you."
"A little Marten-esque." Buck said. Moon Dancer rolled her eyes, then she leaned over onto all fours.
"Have you forgotten, my lord, that I've been watching you? In your impassioned grumblings, I've sat at your side, and all your smirking, mumbling admissions of attraction, I've placed in my pocket." Moon Dancer growled, slowly crawling forward. "You can play coy, but I've seen you. You've met me, blow for blow on the battlefield of literary critique, and you've smiled and stepped and danced until you enchanted me...and now, here you are, sitting in my very chambers, and you haven't yet thrust your wit into the situation. What are you waiting for, my lord? A wax seal on an invitation?"
And now, she was in his lap, one hand tilting Buck's chin up to meet her dark purple eyes, and her thumb at the corner of his mouth.
"That's what I'm talkin' about!" Buck said, beaming. "That's fantastic! So, you're goin' for a "sorcerer's apprentice' deal with that? That's rad. So the pitch is you're gonna hang off their arm and act the proper lady, but you'll be salacious and maybe even demanding. Maybe you slide a little "tame me" in there, right, but I think if you're soft domming, you wanna get in this zone right here." Buck said, gesturing at the cute, chubby book nerd sitting on his dick. 
"Is that so?"
"Yeah, that was excellent. You ought'a lean into that. Hot as all hell; poetic even. You're gonna do well with your clients if this is the kind of energy you're bringin'." 
"Oh, well, that's a relief." Moon Dancer said. Buck noticed then that she was blushing.
"You can, uh...you can get off my lap now."
"...Right! Right!" Moon Dancer got up and sat on her bed, pulled the covers over her and scribbled some notes.
"So, we've gone through most of the need to knows. Tell me about your character."
"Well, she's a succubus."
"Classic."
"I'd like white skin, and black and red hair, and-"
"No, no, no, I don't mean the look. I mean the character. What's the the gimmick?"
"I would like my signature to be...well, you said 'tame me'. A rebellious type that encourages the client to get physical, or maybe a pure maiden type that reveals herself as a sex fiend in private."
"Why not both? If the theme is succubus, then you're all about seduction, right?"
"I guess that's a good point."
"Yeah. Well, now the only thing left is for you to practice." Buck said, getting up. "I'm gonna guess you know how to practice lines and poses, or whatever. If you really wanna get extra, you can develop a character voice." 
"I think I can do that. Buck?" Moon Dancer said. Buck rolled his neck and stretched. 
"Yeah?"
"Are you leaving?"
"Yeah. Fun as this's been, I'd like to get back to actually reading on Saturday."
"Right, I've been getting behind as well."
"Then I'll see you in the usual place?"
"You will."
"Alrighty, then. Be careful, alright? Remember to be clear about your rules with your prospective clients, establish your safe word, and be armed, just in case. This is really about you experimenting, so treat it like that. Try some new stuff, and if you need more advice, I can give it." Buck said. Moon Dancer had put the writing implements away, and now she was hiding under her black sheets.  She looked like she was grappling with something in her head.
"Buck?"  His hand was on the doorknob.
"Yeah, Moon Dancer?" 
"I'd like a demonstration."
"A demonstration?"
"...for posterity? I want to see a...a pro in action."
"Moon Dancer, there's videos."
"I'll pay you!"
"I don't do that stuff anymore, alright?"
"...I know we aren't really friends, or anything, and I can be sort of...difficult, but I'm feeling really vulnerable right now, and I would really appreciate it if you'd walk me through this. Can you please, just for a minute, forget that I'm me, and treat me like a client? Please? Just this once?"
"Where's all this comin' from? I thought I was a nuisance to you?" Buck said.
"...you're honestly the closest thing I have to a real friend in this town, and I'm sorry if this is sudden, but I've been sort of...obsessing over you just recently."
"Yeah?" Buck shut the door, then sat on the edge of the bed. Moon Dancer was hiding; the only thing above the covers was her head, and she was looking away. 
"I may have gotten it in my head that you were this...byronic sort of entity that had a scarred past and was aching for the companionship of a shy and inexperienced kohai. And maybe I fantasized about it, and decided to try and get you to show me how to confront those fantasies. And maybe I do really want to try escorting, but at the same time, maybe I just have an itch that needs scratching, and you're the only person I trust not to judge me." Moon Dancer said.
"That's...pretty meta, but I'm flattered. Are you trying to ask me out? Is that what's happening, or do you just want to pay me to soft dom you?"
"Oh, no, no, it's not a date! I don't want to date you; I just have this fixation, and I'd...I'd honestly rather we just sort of make it businesslike so we don't have to have any awkward conversations about it!"
"Yeah?"
"I like you better as this enigmatic english teacher looking guy that wears black tank tops to the library and reads pulp fiction and talks about literary devices in my earshot. We don't need to be friends. I like...I like this space we have. It's unique."
"...I gotcha. Okay. Uh...wow. Again, very flattering. I didn't think a girl like you would notice a schlub on my level. Thanks, I guess?"
"My lord, if I may be so bold, it's monumentally stupid that you don't think you're handsome. Girls like Bachelor Buck."
"Well...Bachelor Buck doesn't like being Bachelor Buck. He'd like to be more than that."
"I understand..." Moon Dancer said, despair hanging off her words.
"But I've been goin' through it lately, and I wouldn't mind handling you just this once. We'll call it the pleasurable side of business. A demonstration, like you said." Buck smiled. He patted at the blankets until he felt Moon Dancer's calf, then gently laid his hand on it. 
"Thank you, Buck. You're very sweet."
"Here's what we're gonna do. It's late now, okay? But I'm gonna come again next week, and if you still want to, we'll do a scenario. Tell me what you want now, and I can deliver.
"Soft dom. Anal."
"Woah, really?"
"Really."
"You'll want to do an enema, then, and--"
"Yes, I know. I...want you to call me 'Darling'. I like it when you call me that. I want you to act aloof, and then let me tempt you, and dominate me. Is all that okay?"
"Sure. Safe word?" 
"Velvet."
"Okay. Then, I'll see you next week for the session. Again, no foul if you back out. I won't treat you any different."
"Wait! At least let me pay you back with something." Moon Dancer said, nervously.
"...you think you could get me a discount on the weed selection down there?"
"Buck, I can get you a discount on everything down there."
"That'll do, then."
"Thank you, Buck."
"Good night, Moon Dancer."





This was a weird one, for Buck. He'd had a whole week to fixate and let this session be the target of his anxiety. There were a lot of ways this could go wrong, the least of which was Moon Dancer telling other people about it, and suddenly Buck's name would get put through the wringer again. He had a mostly steady job, and he didn't need to jeopardize it for a fling. That said, Moon Dancer was earnestly asking for help, and she was actually very pretty and he was horny. 
As Buck stepped through the entrance to Cauldron Bubbles' Sanctum of Sorcery, he was nearly knocked over by a retreating figure in a purple beanie that sat on a frame taller than his own. They were holding a jingling plastic bag with the stores' logo, which was something like Lisa Frank's idea of the planet Saturn. He didn't get a good look at the face, but they had long, dark purple hair with a light blue streak and legs for days.
"Buck, sweetheart? Are you here to see Moon Dancer again?" Said Cauldron Bubbles, who after a few weeks had managed to turn her bombastic customer service persona off just for Buck. 
"Yes ma'am."
"I'd like to thank you. I know she's very unique, but I worry for her, and I'm glad she's made a friend in this horrible city. She's not my child, but I do try to look after her, you understand?"
"Well, you don't gotta worry about me." 
"You won't hurt her, will you Buck?"
"Absolutely not." Buck smiled.
"Are you willing to work on commission, some time? For me?"
"Absolutely not." Buck repeated, and then he was up the stairs.





Buck elected to wear a pair of brown slacks, a cream-colored shirt with brown stripes, and suspenders to complete the 'english professor' vibe that Moon Dancer had complemented. It turned out to be very appropriate, as when he stepped into his client's room he found that the curtains had been drawn and the space was bathed in flickering candle glow. Those candles filled the room with a smell like a craft store frequenter's idea of seduction.
From the nightstand, Buck could hear the beginnings of a playlist that probably had the words 'dark' and 'fantasy' and possibly even 'sensual' in the title. It sounded like the tutorial of a jrpg, but one of those darker ones from the PS1 era. Next to the singing phone was a short bottle of oil-based lube, a box of condoms, and some tissue paper. Everything they would need. There was also a little jewelry box, which Buck wasn't so sure about.
Buck could see the curve of Moon Dancer's hip underneath the dark covers. She was turned away, but the sound of a page being turned told him that this was intentional.
Buck closed the door quietly. He steadied his breathing and remembered the rules. Don't hurt her. Don't judge.
Moon Dancer cracked her finger joints. 
Begin scene.
"This study smells of sandalwood and sage. Have you been practicing the dark arts behind my back again?" Buck said.
The womanly shape in the bed gave no answer.
"I asked you a question, darling." Buck said. He stepped slowly to the desk across the room, then sat and produced his copy of Snow Crash. His back was to Moon Dancer.
"Why, no, my lord. Not after you explicitly instructed me not to!' Moon Dancer spoke in a voice that was light and airy compared to what he was used to. 
"I should hope not. You and I are both aware that rules are meant to be bent, but you wouldn't let temptation get the better of you. Isn't that so, darling?"
"...yes, my lord. I've just been here, studying by candlelight and meditating on your wisdom."
"I see. And have you come to any epiphany worth mentioning?"
"Yes, my lord. I should think I've come up with a technique that you will relish."
"Well, I look forward to seeing it in class proper. No need for me to tutor you. If that's all there is, you're free to go." Buck made a show of licking his thumb, then turning the page. 
"I..! I would like to stay here in your study for a bit longer, my lord." Buck heard a rustling of the sheets, and then Moon Dancer's voice got closer.
"Nonsense. For what reason do you tarry here, darling?"
"It's just that the night grows so cold and dark. But here in the lamplight, there is a gentle warmth..." Moon Dancer's voice was by his ear. Her hands fell lightly on his shoulders and slid down his arms at a sensual pace.
"And it is just cool enough to stay in bed. Dark enough to find a sweet dream beneath the covers."
"A dream, you say?"
"I've been dreaming, my lord." Moon Dancer nudged Buck's hands away from the open book with barely a caress. "It's a pleasant dream, my lord." Moon Dancer sighed in his ear.
"I see...well, the night does grow old. I think I may retire to my bed, if it's all the same to you. When the morrow comes, we can speak more of your dreams." Buck said. He clapped the book closed.
"Will you need help getting undressed, my lord?"
"For the last time, I'm not a feeble old man. I can very well undress myself."
"...Understood. I'll turn away." Moon Dancer said, and Buck heard her muffled steps cross the room.
Buck then took care to strip slowly, letting each article of clothing drop to the floor until he was in only his undershirt and boxers. There was the thinnest of giggles as he bent over to collect his costume, then folded each piece on the desk chair. When he turned, he didn't see Moon Dancer. 
"...well. It's nice to have a dedicated student. If only she would dampen her proclivities, she'd be near my contemporary." Buck said it light and pompous and ignored a snicker coming from the bed. Buck removed his glasses and got under the covers, facing toward the room as opposed to the wall. It was a spacious queen of a bed, delightfully cushy and smelling faintly of lavender.
Buck would have killed for a space like this. He knew that Moon Dancer worked the library and seemed to work downstairs in this building, but he couldn't guess her pay. Must have been substantial, Buck thought, but then his train of thought was cut off by a small hand on his back.
"Hm? Darling, we've talked about this. We can't share a bed; it's simply unethical. What will people say?"	
"'What a lucky girl she is~'" Moon Dancer purred.
"I meant the men."
"What a goodly and dutiful girl she is~" Moon Dancer's hand trailed up and down Buck's back, and when he turned over, he found her dark purple pools staring into him with an almost innocent smile beneath them. 
"Darling, it's not as if I'm blind. I just don't think this should continue."
"It need not continue for more than one night, my lord. Let us ease our burdens together. Please...let me be your pleasant dream." Moon Dancer reached up to touch Buck's cheek. She was blushing deep, and Buck could feel the nervous shiver running through her. 
"...If it's to be so, let us never speak of it again, my faithful student." Buck said.
"Not a single soul need know, my lord...mmph?" Moon Dancer sighed. Buck put a thumb to her puffy lips as they drew closer.
"Enough talk." Buck said, with finality. Moon Dancer parted her lips around Buck's thumb and let out a tiny sigh. A rosy blush had come to her round cheeks. Their lips met, and Moon Dancer's eagerness broke through the scene. 
Small kisses smacked against Buck's lips at a quick and greedy pace, her hands trailing along Buck's chest until he pinned them over her head.
"Naughty thing. How long have you been thinking about this night, darling?" Buck whispered, then kissed along Moon Dancer's neck.
"I've spent a thousand eternities staring at you over a book, my lord." Moon Dancer moaned. Buck's free hand slid under her shirt, caressing the smooth skin beneath. She gasped as Buck cupped her breast. 
"And so it falls to me to exorcise your demons. Is that why you've come to my bed?" Buck growled. Moon Dancer's soft breasts dropped free as Buck pulled her top up. 
"Mnnn! My lord...!" Moans of pleasure came fluttering from Moon Dancer's lips as Buck nibbled and flicked her nipple with his tongue. His free hand slid down her side and squeezed one plump cheek. Under his spread legs, Moon Dancer's knees squeezed together. 
"Lust is bubbling up from inside you, darling. Why did you wait so long to come to me?" Buck bit down on Moon Dancer's nipple just hard enough to earn a squeal.
"I...I feared that my form would turn you away." 
"This form, right here?" Buck chuckled. His lips dragged away from Moon Dancer's teat and instead began to kiss along her pot belly. He nibbled and moaned and let her wrists go just so he could squeeze her ass with both hands. Moon Dancer squirmed under Buck's attention, her chest shaking as she got caught between a giggle and a moan.
Mm-mmy-my lord! That is...that is most uncouth!" She managed. Buck savored the supple belly fat that he was nibbling on. His list of fetishes was a broad spectrum, but a hesitant waif with a chubby form was definitely on it somewhere. The rough groping of her ass combined with the suckling of her belly seemed to be a deadly combination for Moon Dancer, who covered her mouth to stifle a shaky groan.
"You want to see uncouth?" Buck said. Moon Dancer found herself flipped onto her stomach, and as Buck yanked her bottoms down, she grabbed at the waistband and held it at the end of her thighs.
"Please, my lord! I can't bear further embarrassment..." She pleaded, looking at Buck over her shoulder.  There was a quiet desperation in her eyes.
"Embarrassment? Over this work of art?" Buck said.
Moon Dancer's ass was two gorgeously round mounds of cream-colored flesh, shifting under every one of Buck's touches, caresses, and light slaps. 
*SLAP*
Buck brought a firm hand down and watched the posterior jiggle. It was nearly mesmerizing. Buck thought to himself that he could do that all day.
"Ah...I see why they call you Moon Dancer." Buck chuckled.
"Wha...how dare you!?" Moon Dancer squealed as Buck slapped the other cheek.
"Just a joke, darling..." Buck's hands moved as if in a trance.
Buck fondled her with methodical gentility, running his palms over Moon Dancer's incredibly soft cheeks until they had been worked up to a cherry red blush. 
"My oh my, and what do we have here, darling?" Buck parted Moon Dancer's cheeks, revealing at last a puckering, wanting hole. She had been warming herself up, apparently, because there was an obvious gap on display that brought a smile to Buck's face.
"...you've been preparing yourself? Were you so sure I would give into your wiles?" Buck said. He reached over and spread a dollop of lube on his thumb, then let another drop onto Moon Dancer's pucker. This stuff was cold, and so Buck wasn't surprised when Moon Dancer cringed.
"I...have been...'preparing'...for some time!" Moon Dancer hissed.
"Well, my faithful student...you've always been ahead of your class." 
Buck's thumb slid easily in, and while he had been determined to take it slow, he found that he could easily fit two fingers in, then three, all the while savoring Moon Dancer's moans while he worked the lube in.
"Ah! Mnn...am I ready, my lord?" 
"I'll be gentle, darling." Buck shimmied out of his boxers, making sure to tease and prod at Moon Dancer as he reached over to the bed stand for a condom. Buck pressed his jacketed cock against Moon Dancer's crack and rubbed it back and forth, applying lube to his shaft. All the while, he watched Moon Dancer shift and grumble impatiently beneath him.
"I don't want you to be gentle, my lord! I need it now!"
"Ah, this is my fault. I haven't been attentive enough..." Buck said. He lined his tip up with Moon Dancer's winking opening. 
"My lord, please..." Moon Dancer whined.
"Well, you know what they say. 'Spare the rod...'" Buck pressed against the hot opening.
"Ahh..."
"'Spoil the child.'" Buck said. The head of his cock popped inside. Moon Dancer gasped and Buck stroked her ass in a placating manner. "Breathe...breathe, darling."
Moon Dancer grasped the sheets and tried to steady her breathing. With each exhale, Buck pressed in a bit deeper. There was a little hiss from Moon Dancer, and a few careful adjustments in positioning, then Moon Dancer gave out a shuddering groan as Buck hilted fully inside her.
"You feel enormous, my lord..." Moon Dancer said, through gritted teeth.
"That's very flattering, darling. I take it you feel nice and full?" Buck said, grinding gently against her.
"Mmmm...! Mhm, mhm..." Moon Dancer hummed and nodded. Buck wiped his hands with a bit of tissue paper, then planted a hand next to Moon Dancer's head. The other came under her chin and pulled until her eyes arched back to look into Buck's. 
"Is this what you wanted, my faithful student? To shiver and groan beneath me as I have my way? Is this the demon you spoke of?" Buck said.
"Mmhmm..." Moon Dancer smiled up at Buck as if she were lost in a wet dream. Buck kissed her forehead. 
"You will tell me if I hurt you?" Buck said, stroking her chin.  Buck slid in and out with ease. Moon Dancer's squeezing and the feel of her plush ass under his hand made it hard to resist starting hard and greedy.
"Mmmhmmm...." Moon Dancer shut her eyes and bucked her hips upward. 
Buck tried to start slow, but Moon Dancer's rolling ass was insistent. She squeezed him with her hot walls and mewled until he got up to speed. Moon Dancer moaned loudly as Buck treated her to hard, long strokes. He was glad for the condom lowering his sensitivity because by the way Moon Dancer's asshole was clamping down on him, he wouldn't have lasted long otherwise.
Buck lowered leaned down to whisper in Moon Dancer's ear.
"I can scarcely hold myself back...! Tell me you want more, darling!" 
"Give me more, my lord! I'm so close!" 
Buck grabbed the bang tail that Moon Dancer kept at the top of her head and pulled on it until the both of them were on their knees. Moon Dancer tightened up as Buck began pounding her in earnest, grabbing onto the headboard with one hand and covering her screams with the other. 
Now the headboard was banging lightly against the wall. Buck held Moon Dancer's hip steady as he slammed his hips into her over and over again, trying to maintain a steady and vicious pace. Moon Dancer, for her part, had her eyes screwed shut and seemed focused on not screaming her head off while her ass made lewd suckling sounds around Buck's driving shaft. 
"Harder...! Harder!" Moon Dancer squealed, and so Buck grabbed her belly with both hands and pounded her with everything he had. She was a tough nut to crack, but Buck was not about to be outdone. One of his hands slid down her stomach to reach into her half-on pyjama pants and toy with her clitoris.
"Wait!" Moon Dancer said.
What Buck pulled out was a surprise. He couldn't see it past Moon Dancers chubby, beautiful form, but he could feel it. His thrusting slowed down to a grind as he ran his fingers along it. It was a cock, and from the distance, his fingers had to go to find the head, it was one that humbled his own in terms of size.
"Ah." Buck said. 
"I'm sorry..." Moon Dancer sniffled.
"Is this what you've been worried about?" Buck said. "Darling, men and women alike would pay hand over fist for this body type..." Buck slid his hands down the shaft and squeezed at the base.
"We can stop if you're uncomfortable." Moon Dancer said. Her voice had dropped into a whimper.
"Oh, please. You're my client, right now." Buck said. He drove his hips forward, and as Moon Dancer moaned, he stuck his fingers into her mouth. Moon Dancer, though surprised, moaned and let Buck wet his fingers on her tongue. "I'm here to take care of you, darling, and flexibility is your most important skill in this business."
Buck's fingers came away soaked in Moon Dancer's spit. Her breath hitched as he slid them around her shaft, giving her a few gentle pumps. Buck's other arm slid up around Moon Dancer's neck, his hand grabbing her shoulder.
"Now...tell me, darling, have you ever cum like this before?" Buck growled.
And then. as if nothing had happened, Buck started pounding Moon Dancer's ass again. This time, however, he matched his relentless thrusting with wild, frantic pumps of Moon Dancer's cock.
"Ohhh fuck, oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh FUCK!" Moon Dancer screamed. 
It didn't take long, Buck's thrusts becoming frantic as he pushed against his own limits.
Moon Dancer let out an unintelligible squeal and squirted all over the headboard in a knee-shaking, shoulder-quaking orgasm. Buck mercilessly pounded her straight through it, rolling his thumb over the top of her cock head as she discharged.
"Oh fuck, no more, master, no more!" Moon Dancer said.
"What was that!?" Buck said, slapping her ass, not slowing down one bit.
"Velvet! Velvet!" Moon Dancer said. 
"Good girl." Buck slowed his pace, then came to a stop. Moon Dancer flopped down onto her stomach, panting and shivering. Buck stroked her hair and gently parted her cheeks. "I'm pullin' out, alright? Relax..." 
Moon Dancer's thumb in the air was her only response. She hissed as Buck slid out of her as gently as possible.
"You okay?" Buck said. "Are you alright with being touched? Do you need to be cuddled?" Buck said.
"...some water would be nice. I screamed my head off back there." Moon Dancer said. 
"Alright. I'll go fill that glass on your desk in the sink, and I'll be right back."

When Buck returned, Moon Dancer was under her covers, sitting up against the headboard, looking a little lost.
"I take it you cleaned the chowder off the scoreboard, huh?" Buck said, placing the glass on the nightstand.
Moon Dancer nearly did a spit take and half laughed/half coughed.
"What?" Buck said. "Did'ja forget its me?"
"How do you just turn it off like that?" Moon Dancer said, recovering.
"Oh, well, I mean, it's a job, isn't it? You're playing a role for a little bit. It's like how I play a role when I work the counter at Sugar Cube Corner, but it shuts off the second I clock out." Buck said. He took a seat on the bed next to Moon Dancer, making sure to give her some space. "It helps to think of it not as you doing the work, but a character doing the work. Trust me. But anyway, now's a good time to talk about after care. So, first of all, you ought to have water right next to the bed with the rest of your supplies, just rule of thumb, and you should use the bathroom before and after sex. If you went for the back door, it's important to go in gently and come out just as gently, and wash yourself afterwards. Once the session is over, you need to check up on the client. Don't touch without permission, make sure they enjoyed themselves, offer tissues or maybe even a towel if things got a little messy. What matters is that your client is comfortable through the whole experience, and-"
"Are you not going to address it?"
"Address what?" 
"The fact that I have a penis, Buck!" Moon Dancer exploded, gesturing at her crotch.
"Huh?"
"I thought you would be shocked! Or repulsed!"
"Oh, honey. If you think that's the strangest thing I've seen during a session, you're out of your damn mind." Buck deadpanned.* 
Moon Dancer stared at him blankly.
"Here's the thing about that, though. You need to communicate that feature--and it is a feature--to your clients before you go to the session. That's critical; no one wants to be surprised by something like that when they're in the sack, and some guys will even react violently, which reminds me to remind you that you really gotta arm yourself for this gig, because it can get nasty, and not in a good way."
"You are unbelievable." Moon Dancer laughed. It was a wide and genuine smile; something he was not used to seeing on that face. 
"You did good, by the way. I mean, as a sub; you're a natural at that." 
"Really?"
"Absolutely. I'll be honest; if tonight was about me, I would've given you a break...and then gotten right back in there. All night, easily."
"Oh..." Moon Dancer blushed again. Her eyes searched the covers for some kind of insight.
"You might struggle to dom properly, but it all boils down to practice."
"Well, I don't know about that. I've got a pretty strong character, I think." 
"Oh yeah? Is my 'faithful student' ready to graduate already?"
"Perhaps...would you care for a demo?"
"Yeah, sure. Hit me with your best shot." 
Moon Dancer smirked and stepped out from under the covers, picking up the little jewelry box on the nightstand. She crossed the room bare-assed and opened her curtains just a bit, letting a bit of moonlight filter in.
"So you know I'm friends with Twilight Sparkle..." Moon Dancer said. The look on her face made Buck wonder if she was going to kill him and enjoy every moment of it, which all in all was a good zone for a dom to be in.
"Yep. I'm sure she told you about me. We go way back." Buck said.
"...not really? But, no matter. Twilight has been helping me with this project as well, and while it cost a pretty penny, the results speak for themselves." Moon Dancer said, opening the box. 
Inside was a ring with a black band and a tiny ruby shaped like a cartoon skull. 
"Oh, fuck me. This is gonna be some magic bullshit, isn't it?" Buck said.
"It turns out I have a bit of a knack for it, and Twilight wanted to help."
Moon Dancer smiled and put the ring on. Buck expected a dramatic sailor scout transformation sequence, but what happened instead was a sudden darkening of the room. The candles snuffed immediately, leaving the moonbeam as the only source of light. Then Buck blinked and suddenly Moon Dancer was at the edge of the bed, but something had changed.
Or rather, everything had changed. The candles flickered back to life, revealing that Moon Dancer's skin had gone from cream to alabaster. Her hair had shortened into blood red bob with a bang framing one side of her face and a black streak through it. Her eyes had gone ruby as well, with pitch-colored liner around the edges. 
There was a pair of stubby bat wings fluttering at her back, and her cock had seemingly lengthened and turned black as coal.
Buck was at a loss for words as Moon Dancer crawled onto the bed. He backed up to the wall slowly, shrinking down as Moon Dancer loomed over him. Now it was she that tilted Buck's chin upward.
"I call her Lilith, but 'Mistress' will do." She said. 
"Fucking phenomenal." Buck said.
"Perhaps you'd like a proper demonstration from me?" Moon Dancer said, and immediately drew close enough to kiss.
"Thaaaat's....okay, look. While getting pounded in the ass by a succubus is definitely on my list, I ain't prepped for that, so it's gonna be a no from me."
"I thought you were supposed to be straight?"
"Well, you're a girl, aint'cha!?"
"Yes."  Moon Dancer said, sitting back. 
"Man, oh man..." Buck said, scratching his head.
"What's the matter now?" 
The weight of possibility settled into Buck's lap. Introducing magic to this field was an innovation he had never thought of, and it had the potential to be revolutionary and extremely dangerous. It also had the potential to make Moon Dancer stinkin' rich. Buck took a moment, then steadied himself.
"You're gonna knock'em dead out there. As long as you're honest about what you're offering, you'll attract the right people and repulse the wrong ones."
"You really think so?"
"I know so. Just be careful, alright? Magic has a way of fucking everything up, so keep it close to your chest, huh?" Buck rose from the bed, satisfied. Moon Dancer was silent as he got dressed, but as he headed for the door, she spoke up again.
"Wait, Buck! I know what I said before, but we could...maybe we could be a team? You're uh...you're obviously a veteran at this, and I'm fresh and new! We could get into it together! You know, um...professionally."
"Oh man...listen, Moon Dancer. That sounds sweet and all, but I put 'the industry' behind me. It all sounds so glamorous until you're in it. You can keep the escorting and the magic. I think I'll hang on to the quiet life I've got now."
"I understand..."
"But hey. I'll see you at the library, right?"
"You will. One night of passion isn't enough to turn me away from dumping on your literary taste, Buck."
"Wouldn't have it any other way." Buck laughed. And with that, he was out. 





Moon Dancer would indeed show up to the study room on the following Saturday, but she didn't have anything to say. Several more Saturdays would pass in this companionable silence until Moon Dancer finally cracked her fingers and turned the page. An obvious question hung in the air.
"...How'd it go?"
"...I already have a client, and they are...very enthusiastic about my particular approach to soft domming."
"Gooood...my apprentice...let the lust flow through you...!" Buck croaked.
"Oh, shut up. Is that another Pratchett in your hands? You've grown terribly predictable, my lord bard."
"You're reading 'Interview With A Vampire' for the literal 13th time."
"I suppose some things never change."
"Well, I wouldn't say that."	
"Ah yes, my lord. I heard through the grapevine that a certain bard recently made an appearance at Donut Joe's with a certified super villain on his arm."
"Oh, for fuck's sake." Buck groaned, covering his face with one hand.
"Didn't you tell me that you were going to 'hang on to your quiet life'?"
"I don't want to talk about that. Things've been weird, to say the very least."
"Weirder than the tutelage of your 'faithful student'?"
"Would you believe me if I said yes?"
"You attract the strangest women, my lord."
"I guess that's why you keep showin' up here." Buck deadpanned. "Speaking of, I gotta get goin'."
"So soon?"
"Well, the sun's goin' down, and I apparently got plans for this Saturday night."
"You don't sound very excited."
"Terrified, actually. She's going to be there."
"But you're still going."
"It's complicated."
"Would you mind if I offered you some good advice, my lord?"
"You're gonna. I dunno why you'd even ask." Buck smiled.
"I've miraculously learned a thing or two from you through our meetings, and I feel I should pass this lesson back to you; 'As long as you're honest about what you're offering, you'll attract the right people and repulse the wrong ones.'"
"Did I say that? That sounds a lil' too profound for me." Buck said. Moon Dancer rolled her eyes.
"Yes, my lord, you did say that. But I'd like to add something else."
"Go on." Buck said. Moon dancer smiled and closed her book. 
"The right people will find you, even if you hide away. So don't worry so much." Moon Dancer produced a familiar ruby skull ring from her pocket and slipped it on. The room went dark, and when it lit back up, both Moon Dancer and her small tower of books was gone.
Buck got up and stepped halfway out the door, looking around. He saw Moon Dancer rushing away with her stack of books wobbling about.
"What a fucking nerd." Buck laughed.




> Chapter 23 - With Or Without You (U2)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first thing that Buck thought was that he was actually dead this time. When you've taken a lot of big hits, you start to recognize what it feels like when your brain braces itself. Buck, in his time, had fallen from a two-story window back at home. He'd taken a crowbar to the side of the head in San Franciscolt. He'd tripped over a street corner and managed to save his teeth in exchange for a concussion that was never diagnosed or treated. 
He always managed to get back up, but there was an eternity of darkness in the space between impact and stumbling to his feet. It felt the exact same way when he was stomped in the head at the Battle of the Bands. 
In that dreaming space, where all that you know is the sensation of falling, Buck's thoughts were mercifully focused. All things considered, being eaten by a dragon that used to be his friend was an upgrade from those. Hell of a thing to put on a tombstone.
Buck woke up in the sky. 
Beside him, Buck saw Garble clutched in a claw that was bigger than his torso, conked out. The one holding Buck was firm but gentle, like a labrador's mouth. He tried to pry at one of the scaly orange digits, but it wouldn't budge even a tiny bit. 
The air was rushing through his hair, and his glasses had likely departed this world a few stories down; so everything besides the dazzle of the falling sun was blurry and distant.
A sound like the crackling of an exposed wire shook Buck's eardrums, and everything suddenly sped up.
The sky twisted as Smolder tumbled on new, uncertain wings through the air. The sight of people running for their lives across the fair suddenly give way to Canterlot's skyline in the distance. 
Another blast of sound, this time with a cyan flash, sent Buck's world spiraling, and Buck knew then that it must be Starlight Glimmer. He looked behind but could only see a few blurry shapes in the air beyond Smolder's undulating tail.  	Starlight had taken to the air as she did at the Boardwalk, and Sunburst was probably with her. The fair was just beneath him now, the roofs of cottages charging past his face at shredding speed. Smolder dipped, and Buck saw and felt her raptor feet tear a rumbling path right through the shingles as she tried to remain aloft.
There was a shout, then a blast of magic struck Smolder in the side, but she flipped and banked, and Buck was blinded by a sudden gout of searing flame in the direction of his salvation. And it just kept coming. Through Buck's pained squinting, he could see the figure whizz through the air like a gnat trying to avoid the weaponized backdraft, fleeing away and around. 
"Smolder! Smolder, what're you doin'!?" Buck screamed, and the flames lessened. Buck looked up into the swiveling eye of the beast and saw a spark of confusion that got quickly replaced with cold, reptilian malice.
"SMOLDER WANT!" The beast roared. Buck looked around and saw the fair bobbing out in front of him. People were fleeing, but more were standing about. Gawking or recording, he guessed. 
"Smolder, this isn't you! Let us go!" 
"SMOLDER WAAAANT!" The voice was insistent and almost whining, but it sharpened into a screech in time with a sound like a cannon going off. Buck was jerked in Smolder's grasp, and the cyan shine left spots in his eyes.
The flames returned, fanning as Smolder fell from the sky in a low arc. She flipped and clutched Buck and Garble to her chest, crashing through something that sounded sturdy.
"Garble, wake up!" Buck shouted through the dust. Rubble shifted and crunched all around as Smolder tried to roll onto her stomach. Garble was predictably useless, still zonked after his near-death experience. Buck couldn't blame him, but that didn't make him any less mad. "Garble, wake the fuck up!"
"Get me closer!" Shouted a voice from above. It wasn't Sunbursts' or Starlight's.
"So you can make things worse!?" Starlight shouted.
"Just stay out of my way, you tacky little hobby horse!" That vaguely shakespearean insult could only come from one person, Buck thought. He was answered by a glint of steel in the air that suddenly piked into the wing right next to him. 	Smolder's pained howl was miles away from Buck as he looked upon Adagio, hunched over in her fair attire, her battle dress fluttering in the breeze. She had impaled Smolder's wing with her rapier, and the sheer satisfaction in her eye was more frightening than Smolder's wrath.
"If thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them." Buck muttered, and Adagio suddenly realized he was there.
"...Hamlet?"
"You." Buck spat. 
Smolder kicked her back legs and howled, but beams of cyan light kept hitting her from above. Starlight was strafing through the air, trying to keep Smolder occupied. 
"Buck, I know you're upset--"
"Oh you fuckin' think? I don't even know where to start! How about the fact that you just stabbed my friend!?"
"Buck, I'm going to save you, but I need a little bit of energy--"
"Are you fuckin' serious!?"
"Just a little bit!" 
Buck began to protest, but then his eyes rolled back. A furious red haze streamed out of his mouth and into Adagio's.
Smolder saw Buck shuddering limply. Her heartbeat slowed, her eyes narrowing.
Her muscles contracted, then grew in size. Adagio dove to catch her blade as it was tossed from Smolder's expanding wing, the stab wound healing fast enough to send the blade flying out. She rolled over, having doubled in size, then blasted into the air once more. 
"SOMEBODY FUCKING HELP MEEEEE!" Buck shrieked.

Adagio's palm grew sore as she squeezed the handle of her blade, watching helplessly while Smolder flew off to the edge of the fairgrounds.
"That is the second time this month that I've had to watch another woman run off with Buck." She grumbled.
She sneered as Starlight Glimmer flew down on her spear to pick her up. When Smolder had pounced, Starlight had dove one way, animated her spear, and expected Sunburst to ride on the back, like usual. What happened instead is that Sunburst hit the ground, and when Starlight looked back, she had seen Adagio instead. A predictable argument had broken out then and was still in progress.
"Every bit of this is your fault!" Starlight said. 
"I am painfully aware of that!" Starlight Glimmer cringed as Adagio's face turned into a fanged monstrosity for the space of her shriek.
"Woah, that's new!" Starlight said, but Adagio simply straddled the floating spear Starlight was riding on.	
"I've taken in some of Buck's emotions." Adagio said as they raced after Smolder. "He's terribly upset!" Came another involuntary yell.
"Oh, I wonder why? Is it because you ruin his life every time you step into it!?" Starlight shouted against the wind. Smolder twisted and spun low, just barely passing over people's heads in an attempt to shake her pursuer, but Starlight stayed near her tail until the dragon perched on top of the stone turret overlooking the fairgrounds and opened her jaws.
"Stop talking and blast that bitch out of the sky, you blabbering fustilarian!"  Adagio shouted as Starlight rushed away from another gout of flame.
"No, no, keep insulting me, that'll help! I'm out of quartz! Don't you have any evocations!?"
"Evocations are for imperious idiots with tiny imaginations!" Adagio hissed.
"Are you talking about me!?" Starlight balked, dodging Smolder's snapping jaws.
"Yes! You're practically a unicorn, EXCEPT UNICORNS HAVE MAGIC!" 
"Oh, you BITCH!" Starlight shouted. In the midst of Starlight's distraction, another blast of incinerating heat came at the odd duo. 
"Cover your ears!" Adagio said, but when Starlight complied, the sound was still loud enough to shake her eardrums.
It was the kind of shriek reserved for banshees and the odd thrash metal band, knocking the pair backward. Starlight watched the flame suddenly flicker out under the pressure of the wail, which then blasted the sense out of Smolder. 
The dragon shuddered from the force of the blast, but she still held Buck and Garble against her underbelly, hunching over them. 
"What? How does that work?"
"Foolish foal! The pressure from the sound waves dispersed the oxygen from the flame, putting it out in an instant! Didn't you take basic alchemy, or second semester air magic!?"
"What are you talking about!? 
Smolder recovered and batted the two away with the swipe of a tail. A glimmering shield of cyan light caught the strike, but with nothing to brace it, Adagio and Starlight were spiked away like a volleyball. 
Smolder looked around, and in the absence of a rogue witch on a broom or an apache attack chopper, she carefully reached through the top window of the tower and placed Garble, then Buck inside. She then dug her claws into the top of the turret, prepared to lash out at the slightest provocation. 





Down at the Proving Grounds, as people stampeded for the exits or alternatively recorded the battle on their phones, Sunburst watched as an arcane bubble containing the love of his life was flung into a building across the grounds with a tremendous crash. 
He was on his stomach in the grit after diving away from a swooping Smolder. 
"Starlight! Oh, this is bad, this is so incredibly bad! Okay, okay, focus Sunburst, Starlight needs you!" Sunburst stopped his scrambling in place and tried to assess. All around him, people were running.
Smoke. 	
He saw smoke and followed it down to see that the dragon's flames had caught some buildings. That was going to be a big problem, very soon, but it wasn't as important as...
"Dinky? Dinky Doo? Where's Dinky? Where's my baby!?" Said Ditzy Doo, her golden hair swaying behind her frantically searching eyes. 
...as important as keeping Ditzy from panicking about the fact that she had lost her child in the chaos. Where was Scootaloo?
"Where's my baby, Sunburst!? You and Scootaloo were supposed to watch her!" Ditzy said, shaking Sunburst by the shoulders.
"Uh, well, if Scoots has her, they're at least moving fast!" Sunburst tried.
"Where's Buck? Where did Adagio go? What's going on? Is that a dragon!?" Ditzy panicked.
"Okay, okay, Ditzy Doo, I need you to stay with me. In and out...in and out. Breathe..."
"Okay, I'm calm, I'm calm..." Ditzy said, closing her eyes.
"This is like what happened at the Boardwalk, except Smolder has turned into a monster, and I don't know why."
"You were supposed to say something comforting! Ditzy whined.
"I'm sorry, I know. Ditzy? Hey, listen, we're going to get through this, but I need you to stay calm and stick with me."
"I need to find my baby, Sunburst!" 
"I know, I know.  We're going to find Dinky, okay?"
"Okay...okay...."
"Now, the first thing we need to do is..." Sunburst started walking in the direction of the smoldering buildings, then stopped mid-step as he heard a rolling growl behind him. He turned his head and saw Smolder staring at him and sniffing the air.
"Uh...?" Ditzy said, clutching Marianne in both hands. She happened to be standing between Sunburst and Smolder, who snorted sparks in Ditzy's direction. Blazing malice shone in her eyes as she braced like a cat about to pounce.
"The...first thing we should do is run for our lives!"
"SMOLDER WANT!" The beast roared.





Behind and a little underneath the destroyed bleachers, Scoots held Dinky Doo to her side as people rushed past.
"It's gonna be okay, Dinky...just stick with auntie Scoots and you're gonna be just fine..." Scoots said. Dinky whimpered quietly in response, refusing to look up.
Scoots' eyes were on a different prize. The person in the dark cloak was slowly moving away through the crowd. The fact that they had moved away right before Buck's friend exploded told Scoots that something was suspicious about this whole thing, and she wanted to get to the bottom of it.
A great roar tore through the fair, and then the ground shook as something heavy crashed into the ground a ways away. 
Unsettled by the shake of the earth, a fleeing fair goer smacked into Scoots' shoulder, nearly knocking her off balance. When Scoots looked again, the cloaked figure moved to the shade of an empty booth on the edge of the proving ground.
"Okay, Dinky...we're going to follow that goon and see what's up. We'll have to be quiet; he looks all kinds of sus." Scoots said. She tried to pat Dinky's head but instead patted her lap because Dinky wasn't clinging to her anymore. 
Dinky was scrambling down the way. Ahead of her was the gold foil-wrapped gift she had gotten for Ditzy. Its red ribbon had gotten dirty, and it looked like it had been knocked out of the kid's hands, but as she got closer to it, one of the fleeing pedestrians kicked it further into the stampede, toward the stalls and cottages. 
"Oh, no no no!" Scoots said, scrambling after her.
Scoots dove for Dinky and found only air as the young yak cosplayer barely avoided a boot to the face by bending over to get the package, but then a panicked woman knocked the box away again.
"Dinky! Dinky, come on, I'm supposed to be lookin' out for you!" Scoots shouted. For a second, she had Dinky around the waist, but the little gremlin wriggled out of her grasp and started running, only barely saved from being trampled when Scoots pulled her out of the way of a fleeing family. 
"I gotta get Mama's present! It's big important! It's my quest!" Dinky said, moving her little legs at a speed that Scoots found shocking. She'd been lapping sprinters for almost four semesters, and somehow the scrambling kid was too quick and unpredictable for her to catch.
Dinky chased after the package as it was smacked around like a hockey puck, and by the time Scoots got her arms around the child, they'd wandered away from the action and the cloaked figure.





"Ughhh...I did not come here prepared to fight a dragon..." Starlight Glimmer groaned. Through the haze of smoke, she could see Smolder diving at the ground over and over. The animated spear was floating dutifully adjacent to where they crashed.
Starlight checked the utility pouch she wore on a belt outside her armor. She was always prepared for a conflict, but a dragon was out of her depth. They had a degree of resistance to most forms of physical harm and even some weaker spells. 	Starlight had used up all her quartz by firing those arcane bolts before. 
Her fingers flipped frantically through the little pockets.
"One piece of obsidian, one bald eagle feather, petrified orb weaver, and..."
She had the components for one more barrier, a levitation spell, and an arcane trap spell. Her only other option was a small jade stone with a hole. A drain magic spell could give her a piece of the dragon's power, but the thought of using it made her feel disgusting. 
"SMOLDER WANT!" The roar could be heard across the fair.
Starlight looked over as Adagio picked herself up from the rubble, having suffered no damage besides the dust in her hair but looking absolutely furious. As their eyes met, Adagio seemed to tense up, like the very sight of Starlight Glimmer made her want to crush a skull. 
"Stop staring at me like that!" Adagio exploded.
"Like what!?" Starlight spat.
Adagio looked away and started pacing in the rubble. Her fingers rubbed nervously at her clavicle, and she muttered numbers, eyes shut.
"1...2...3...4...I...cannot...think straight like this!" Adagio hissed, and Starlight saw a puff of hazy red smoke escape her eyes. "I may have taken in a bit too much of Buck's anger and frustration...it's like someone is flicking the ear of my soul lightly and repeatedly!" Adagio growled. 
"Uhh..."
"SHUT UP! New plan, dear, I need to get to Buck so I can save him. Can you distract the dragon?"
"With what? If it charges me, I've got one barrier, and then that's it, and I doubt that an arcane trap cast by me will be strong enough to hold it for long!"
"SMOLDER WANT!" 
"GAHHH! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"
"Sunburst!" Starlight looked up in the air and saw that Smolder had grabbed a flailing orange figure in her claw. 
"Look at me! Look at me! Do you want to save him!?" Adagio said, grabbing Starlight's shoulder. In her eyes, anger was fighting tooth and claw against determination.
"Yes!" Starlight said through gritted teeth.
"Then get me close to that tower! One I'm there, you just need to distract the beast while I get Buck!" 
"I just told you that-"
"Just do it! There's obviously no time to argue!" Adagio said, gesturing at Smolder, who was now wheeling in the air, carrying Sunburst in the direction of the tower. 
"Fine!" Starlight said, getting on the spear.
Adagio stood and balanced right behind her, grabbing her waist. Starlight could hear her breaths slow as they took to the air once more.
"What exactly is your plan!?" Starlight shouted against the wind. Smolder hadn't noticed them.
"I'm going to get Buck to lend me enough magic to tie this up!"
"You really think he would comply with you after you destroyed his date?"
"If he wants to live, then YES! Now stop squawking; I'm about to do you a favor!" Adagio said.
"What in the world would that be?"
"I'm going to show you what it feels like to have true power!"
Adagio hummed a quick tune, which sounded disjointed and even a bit discordant to Starlight. The notes bounced around in her skull like angry bees, and suddenly Starlight felt the muscles of her face tighten. Her jaw clenched, and her heart started to pound. A rush of emotion flooded her mind until everything narrowed into a needle point of intention. She was glad that no one could see her smile.
"Ohhh...this feels good~." 





Buck wasn't sure how to feel now. He had been totally furious and terrified, but he wasn't feeling that anymore. Adagio had pulled a lot of anger out of him, it seemed, so what was left was confusion and anxiety. In this circumstance, Buck found that focus came quickly to him despite the storm inside his head. He didn't know if this was a good or bad thing.
"The door. There's gotta be a way out!"
Buck looked around the dim room and saw a host of sealed wooden crates coated in a thin layer of dust. 
There was also a door, but when Buck rattled it, he heard the thump of what he assumed was a padlock on the other side.
"Storage room...locked from the outside. Muscle the door? No, looks thick. Rappel down?" Buck looked around and didn't see any notable signs painted on the wooden crates. He tried pulling up the edge of one but only got a splinter for his trouble.
"Prop room? Tools for setting up the fair? Without a crowbar, I ain't gonna know. Can't be just trapped here...gotta be a way out." Buck looked around and saw a tool he didn't need.
Garble was still out cold, though it looked like Smolder had propped him up against a crate so that he was sitting up. 
Buck looked out through the small triangular window he'd been deposited in and found that it was definitely large enough to squeeze through, but no amount of sucking in his gut would prevent him from falling through the air on the other side.
Outside, he could see parts of the fair had caught fire, and he could see his best friend cradled in Smolder's claws. 	Down below, he could make out the shape of Ditzy Doo running to the edge of the fighting ring. Good. Even if everyone died, Buck could never accept Ditzy getting crushed or charred by someone he called a friend. 
Smolder was turning in the air, coming back toward the tower when she stopped suddenly and turned and hovered impossibly on her flapping wings. 
Something thin and dark had plinked off her scales, and both she and Buck looked down to see Ditzy Doo readying another arrow. Her empty duffle bag was at her feet, her shield and sword laid atop it. In that moment, she looked every bit the valorous knight she dressed as.
"You...! You leave him alone!" Ditzy's said in a cracking voice.
"DITZY GET OUT OF THERE!" Buck screamed, some 20 feet over her head. 
Smolder sucked in a lungful of air, her tongue sparking as she prepared to do the unthinkable. Ditzy began to flee, but Buck knew that she'd never get away in time. This was the cost of his magic. If Buck was foolish enough to love someone, they would eventually be killed, and it was all his fault.
But just as Smolder was about to incinerate the love of Buck's life, a red bolt straight out of the blue smashed into the side of Smolder's face, sending the dragon crashing into the ground. Buck squinted through the dust and saw a figure land in front of Ditzy Doo, between the toppled Smolder and the tower. A claw held Sunburst in the air, looking shocked and confused, though not as confused as Smolder herself, who rolled to her feet and held Sunburst to her chest.
Ditzy looked this newcomer up and down, and after a second, she recognized her.
"Starlight? Is that you?" Ditzy said. Her armor glowed like a hot poker, her hair floated above her head like the flame of a candle, and where a spear had been earlier, she was holding a lance of sizzling red energy. 
"Go find your daughter, Ditzy. I'll handle this monster." Starlight said. It was a barked command that shuddered Ditzy Doo and brought a sudden, vulnerable blush to her cheeks. She nodded and turned away but stopped short.
"...be careful!" Ditzy said before running in the direction of the crowd.
"You! Let him go!" Starlight said, pointing with authority at Sunburst. Smolder let off a rumbled warning and tensed her bulging muscles. Her wings flexed as if ready to take off. 
"Starlight, what are you doing!? My friend is in here!" Sunburst said. "What's happened to you?" 
Sunburst saw the blazing red haze in her eyes. He had maybe read an example of this in a spellbook once or twice before.
"Let him go before I rip the heart out of your chest, you monster!" Starlight barked, unimpeded. 
Smolder roared a fountain of flame into the air.
"I was hoping you'd say that." Starlight growled and then ripped through the air like a rifle round. 
Instead of piercing Smolder's heart, Starlight swung the lance like a baseball bat, smacking the side of Smolder's draconic head. Sunburst's protests were lost in the chaos as Smolder rebounded with a swipe of the tail and then a stream of flame. Starlight leapt through the air and charged back in the second her feet hit the ground.
There was no sign of the careful poise that Starlight seemed to cultivate, nor was there any sign of pain as Smolder swiped and sent Starlight sprawling through the proving ground's fence. 
There was only pure fury. 
Through the din, sensitive ears could have sworn they heard Starlight laughing as she took Smolder by the tail and somehow hurled her into the base of the tower.





Adagio hovered above the battle, sitting side-saddle on Starlight's forgotten spear, waiting for an opening that just wasn't coming. Every time she approached the tower, that meathead Starlight was smacked into it or slammed the big scaly one into it.
"It's been less than a minute, and she's already losing herself." Adagio tsked. "Of course she's always seething, so it makes sense that she'd be vulnerable to rage magic, but still." 
Adagio watched as Smolder scrambled to the top of the tower and flailed at Starlight with her tail before Starlight leaped up and smashed the beasts' back with her lance. A howl of pain echoed across the fairgrounds.
"She could at least try to give me an opening!" Adagio said. Somewhere in the middle of the melee, Adagio could hear Sunburst screaming for the two to stop fighting, and she could also hear Ditzy Doo crying out for her child. 
She had a moment to breathe with Buck's fury out of her, leaving her to wonder how exactly she would convince him to give her a type of mana she could handle. Manipulation wouldn't work, nor would force if she had any hope of winning him back. She wasn't sure what she would do once she got into that tower, but she was poised to get in as soon as possible. 





"Dinky! Dinky Doo! Are you out there!?" Ditzy yelled through the smoke and the crowd and her own stinging eyes. Ditzy reflected that in normal circumstances, people would be more than happy to bowl her over without a second thought, but there must have been something about how she looked in armor and carrying a furious-looking hammer over her shoulder that made the seas part. She moved at a near jog as she searched for Dinky through the smoke, covering her mouth when she wasn't shouting. 
Ditzy startled at the sound of a splintering crack beside her. The cottages were aflame, and for a second Ditzy worried for her stall, but it was eclipsed by the raw fear clutching at her heart. If Starlight was on it, she was sure that Buck would be okay, but her daughter was out here in this mess, and she needed to get her out as quick as possible.
"DINKY! DINKY, WHERE ARE YOU!?" Ditzy's guilt was immeasurable. She hadn't ignored her daughter, but she'd spent so much energy on Buck and Adagio, she hadn't even considered spending time at the fair with her. She had wanted the ren fair to be something that they did together as a family. She wanted Dinky to grow up with it every year, but now she wasn't even sure if she'd make it past the evening. She squeezed Marianne's handle and tried not to weep, no matter how badly her eyes stung. Her daughter was here, somewhere, and she needed her Mama. It was time to be strong.
"Mama!? I'm here, Mama!" She heard at last. Ditzy ran in the direction of that unmistakable voice, her heart returning to life.
"DINKY! MAMA'S COMIN', JUST STAY THERE!" And she ran, and she sang in her heart, and she turned a corner. The stalls all around were filled with oddities and shiny baubles. The smoke here was lighter; this side of the fair avoiding the blaze so far, but it wouldn't last. And there in the center, one hand in Scootaloo's, was Dinky, who on sight dashed to her mother's arms.
"My baby! Oh, Mama was so scared!" Ditzy said, lifting her daughter up in an arm. She wondered how long she'd still be able to do this, but the thought was buried as Dinky threw her arms around her neck.
"I'm okay, Mama! Auntie Scoots was there!" Dinky smiled. Ditzy looked at Scootaloo with a mixture of shock and deep relief. Scootaloo looked almost shyly by and waved.
"Scootaloo, thank you. I know we haven't really talked, but thank you so much for looking out for my daughter. And my Buck." Ditzy said with a smile. Scoots blushed at that and kicked a foot, staring guiltily at the ground.
"...Actually, there's something I need to tell you?"
"What's that? ...Is it about this morning? You can relax; I'm not worried."
"Yeah, Auntie Scoots, relax!" Dinky parroted. 
"No, it's about Adagio!" Scoots said. Ditzy clenched her teeth in fury, looking over her shoulder at the madness that the fair had become.
"Oooh, I'm gonna..." She looked at Dinky. "I'm...gonna...have a very....uh, stern conversation with that woman." Ditzy petered off.
"That's just it, Ditzy! This isn't her fault! I think I saw who did it!"
"What? Really?"
"It was someone in a dark cloak. There was this...kinda chime I heard, and that's when Smolder flipped out!"
"Okay, well, we'll have to talk to Starlight about that once we're outta here and everyone is safe!"
"Mama, look! I got you a present! Open!" Dinky said.
"Later, baby. Right now, we need to get you safe at home, okay?"
"...okay mama." Dinky said, in that devastated way that children talk when you tell them to wait for dessert. 
"I promise I'll open it later, okay?" Ditzy said, smiling. She could hear the sounds of the dragon roaring and big, heavy blows landing. "Once we're safe!"
"You might be waiting a while. Did you say Starlight was fighting the dragon?" Scoots said, looking past Ditzy.
"Yeah?"
"Then she probably did that. We gotta move!" Scoots shouted, grabbing Ditzy by the arm and pulling her and Dinky off the road. A second later, the trio was rumbled by a world-shaking thud as Smolder landed back first in the center of the road. 
"Smolder, please! You don't have to fight!" Sunburst said, but the dragon paid him no mind. 
Scoots and the gang ducked their heads behind a stall selling a variety of wood-carved goods which rattled in the wake of Smolder's skid landing. Smolder scrambled to her feet just in time to take a body blow from Starlight, who bashed relentlessly with the side of her mana lance. Smolder brought a claw down to smash the woman, but Starlight's lance disappeared, allowing Starlight to grab the talon with both hands, pushing up against it.
Her body was shaking, but so was the dragon's claw as it was gradually pushed back.
"Starlight! Starlight, listen to me! I know you're angry right now, but you can't hurt Smolder! She's a human being, she's just been enchanted!" Sunburst pleaded.
"Quiet! All you ever do is hover and dote on me! Adagio is a monster, but she was right about one thing!" Starlight shouted. There was a brutal crack as she smashed her mailed fist into Smolder's pinky claw. "I needed this!" Starlight grinned with malice as the beast howled, and suddenly the lance was back in her hands. With a brutal thrust, Starlight impaled Smolder in the side of her underbelly, and the beast's scream sounded mostly human. The claw opened, letting Sunburst hit the ground, but though he ran forward to embrace Starlight, she walked straight past him and pointed her lance at the wounded dragon.
"Starlight...please. Just listen to me. Neither of you are in your right mind; just let me explain! You're not a murderer, and I know you don't want to do this." Sunburst gently held Starlight's wrist, knowing that everything could change with one clean twitch of her arm.
"Why should I listen to you!?" 
"Because I love you. And you know that all I want is for you to be safe." Sunburst said. Starlight jerked her wrist out of his grasp, but Sunburst wrapped his arms around her waist. Smolder shuddered and groaned, but her head swiveled away on its serpentine neck and seemed to spot something nearby.  
"I know you want to solve this; all you've ever wanted is to fix everything that's wrong around you! But this isn't the way, and this isn't you! Please. Put it down."
Scoots squinted and held a hand to her ear. Across from where Sunburst was embracing Starlight, Smolder's face had disappeared into one of the stalls, from which Scoots could hear a sound like stepping on loose gravel.
Starlight's chest rose and fell with her haggard breaths. Ditzy Doo carefully watched her expression even as she covered Dinky's eyes. Here was everything she knew to fear from magic, but then, so too did she see the answer.
Sunburst held Starlight tenderly, and Ditzy watched the fury fall from her eyes. The lance which would have killed Smolder fizzled out like a doused fire pit, and the hand which held it slid down to touch Sunbursts' at Starlight's waist.
The roiling red energy evaporated off Starlight in waves, but instead of disappearing, Sunburst watched it waft away and curve into a nearby alleyway and under the cloak of a dark silhouette.
"That can't be me...it can't be..." Starlight whispered. Sunburst looked back at her and gently took her hand.
"It's not, Starlight. You are not your anger. It's okay." Sunburst said. He glanced at the alley, and the figure was gone.
"Uh, guys?" Scoots said. Smolder raised her head to reveal that she was crunching a variety of gold and silver jewelry between her teeth. Her reptilian gaze swept past Sunburst and Starlight and instead fell on Dinky Doo, still holding the gift box, wrapped in scuffed gold foil.
"It's not okay, actually. We should very definitely be running right now!" Sunburst said. 
"Sunburst, what's going on? You have to have figured it out by now!" Starlight said. Everyone backed up a few places as the dragon glowered.
"Right, right...I've read about this. It's dragon sickness! It's a condition that usually happens when a dragon fixates on something they want, but it causes--"
Smolder growled and hunched over once more, and then her scaly form doubled in size again. The puncture at her side closed instantly as the shiny gold package reflected in her eyes. 
"Can you give us the short version!?" Ditzy said. She had Dinky in her arms as she inched behind Starlight and Sunburst.
"She's going to keep growing until she hits her maximum size...and she's going to build a horde of her fixation, and then anything else she thinks is valuable!" Sunburst said, just as Smolder's eyes fell on him again.
"What're we supposed to do about that!?" Ditzy said.
"SMOLDER WAAAANT!"
"RUN!" Sunburst screamed.





In the meantime, Buck had managed to kick the storeroom door a few times, and for his valiant effort, he had gained a sore foot. It sounded like things were only getting worse out there, Garble was still unconscious, and Buck was starting to unravel. It wasn't the bleary-eyed beginning of a depressive tantrum. It was the dull shock he got whenever he had to clean a heinous mess out of the bathroom at work.
"If I don't do something, this is gonna be the rest of my life." 
There would never be a day that he would go to the park with Ditzy and Dinky and just wander around without fear of some monster coming to tear them apart. He was a monster now, and no one would ever be safe around him. Buck covered his mouth and tried not to sob, just as he heard the thump of boots hitting the floor behind him.
"Buck? I know you don't want to see me right now, but I need you." Said a familiar voice. 
"Why? Why do you keep doing this, Adagio?" Buck shrunk down to the floor, refusing to look back. "You know what I am and you know what's at stake and you still come after me. And now everything's fucked because of me. Why?" Buck whimpered.
Adagio tasted Buck's emotion and found an indescribable coldness. It was so much like the embrace of home; it chilled Adagio to the bone. Buck was retreating from this situation into a numbness that Adagio knew far too well.
"This wasn't your doing. I've seen how your magic works. You would have had to touch her intimately to change her, but that's not what happened. One minute she was human, and the next she was a dragon. Whatever magic caused this, it wasn't yours."
"Then who? Why!? Did you do this?"
"...In a manner of speaking. I was goading that girl. I wasn't trying to, but my proximity to her brother may have had a hand in this situation."
"Why are you even here, Adagio!? Why did you have to come out and screw with my date!? I thought...I thought I could have just one week where nothing goes wrong, where I can enjoy some time with Ditzy and everyone else, and you had to come and piss all over it! Why!? Is this a game to you, Adagio!? Are you having fun!?" Buck rose and turned to Adagio, and she refused to show him fear, even as his eyes glowed, and his despair spilled out and threatened to reduce her to shivers.
"Me being here was a genuine coincidence. I...suppose I was testing the waters and prodding at Ditzy Doo, but there's more to it than that, I swear."
"Why won't you just leave us alone!?"
"I can't do that, Buck."
"WHY THE FUCK NOT!?" Buck bellowed.
"Because you need me. We don't have much time, Buck, but can we please sit down?" Adagio said, taking a seat on a crate, patting the spot next to her.
Buck looked at her incredulously, and after he considered throwing himself out the second-story window, he put his hands on his face and muttered something.
"A man listens before he speaks." Buck groaned as he sat down next to Adagio.
"Buck...sometimes in life, you pass through doors without even knowing it. Something small, even innocuous happens, and you look around and the whole world seems different. Like making a small decision, or meeting someone exceptional." Adagio reached for Buck's hand, but he pulled it away, refusing to look at her. "That is where you are right now. You were always magical, but it didn't manifest until I arrived in your life and shook things up. Am I correct to think that?" Buck nodded.
"Even if I stay away from you, there will be other entities that will come to claim you and use your power. Because power attracts power, and you are far more powerful than you know."
"I'm just a man, Adagio. I never asked for any of this. I was supposed to be...I was supposed to tell stories. This thing...its not what I'm supposed to be, and now it's my whole life and nothing will ever be the same." Buck said. Adagio could taste him fighting back tears.
"...you don't always get to choose. Sometimes you get trapped in a situation, and the only thing to do is adapt or die. And if I leave you alone, something will inevitably come for you, and you won't be able to handle it alone."
"I can't handle any of this shit, Adagio."
"But you can. You just don't have the right tools yet." Adagio said. She turned Buck's head to face her, and Buck could finally see the genuine care in her eyes.
"Why are you telling me this?"
"...I'm taking responsibility for what I've done. Your life isn't going to go back to the way it was, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing, Buck. You were miserable, weren't you? But now you have the power to change, and be something greater than you were before. You don't have to be like Ditzy Doo; sitting and waiting for life to happen to you. You're more than that. And I can't stand sitting by and watching you rot and stagnate, especially now that your powers are awakening. I won't stand for it, Buck. I want to help you evolve. Do you understand?"
"So no matter what I do, magic horseshit is going to keep happening to me, and so are you."
"I don't want to happen to you, Buck. I want to help you."
"They why did you fuck with my date, Adagio!? How is that helping anything?"
"IT WAS A MISTAKE!" Adagio screamed. "Even I make them, sometimes...loathe as I am to admit it."
"...you were jealous, weren't you?" Buck said.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Buck." Adagio said, crossing her arms. She turned toward the window, and in the light of the setting sun, Buck saw the cunning, transactional Adagio melt away into a quiet pout.
"Heh...hahahaHAHAHAH!"
Buck started laughing, then. He wanted to scream, but the twisted absurdity of this situation sank in, and he clutched at his stomach and laughed and laughed and laughed. 
Adagio turned and glared at him.
"What are you laughing about, Buck!? Your friends are in danger!"
Down below, everyone that Buck cared about in Canterlot was fleeing for their lives. The gate to exit the fair was crumbling into cinders, and Smolder charged through stall after stall in pursuit of a little gift in the arms of a small child. 
"Hahaha! I am so FUCKING mad at you right now! You show up here, fight with my girlfriend, stab my friend, then you come up here and tell me I need you and that I should, once again, give you my magic so you can go stab my friend some more, and you still refuse to even ack-fucking-knowledge that there was ever anything between us! You said you won't stand for me stagnating, but you know what I heard? 'I want you around, but not if you're human.' Because at no point, since the moment you met me, have you ever really treated me like a person; I'm, I'm just a chess piece for you to slide around the board for whatever the fuck purpose, I still don't know what! I am so sick and tired of you treating me like this game you're trying to win, and more than that, I'm sick of you pretending that you care about me!" 
"I never said I didn't care!"
"You said it with your actions! All you care about is what I could be, for you! You say you wanna help me evolve? Bullshit. All I am to you is a project! And you know what? I've been someone else's project before, and it MADE ME FUCKING HATE MYSELF! And you're worse than Her, because at least with Her, she didn't come to fuck with my life after I left!" Buck was still smiling, still laughing, but now tears were beginning to leak out of his eyes.
"Buck..."
"Look at me, Adagio. When you look at me, what do you see!?" Buck said. His eyes were glowing again, and Adagio could swear that his teeth were lengthening. Adagio squared her shoulders.
"...I see a man that's been too beaten down to recognize his own potential." She said, and she felt a piece of Buck break as he turned away from her toward the window. His next words came out shaky, empty of all laughter.
"When you look at me, all you see is what you want me to be, and all that really means is that I'll never be enough for you. When Ditzy looks at me, all she sees is Buck. When I'm with Ditzy Doo...for the first time, I feel like just being Buck is enough." 
Even through his tears, Buck could see that Starlight, Sunburst, Scoots, Ditzy, and Dinky had made it back to the proving grounds. There was nothing that could be toppled onto them in that space, but there was also nowhere to hide. Much of the fairgoers had fled, but many were trapped in the grounds as the flames spread. Soon there would be no exits left to escape to, and Smolder's rampage would surely take some lives. If that happened, there would be no going back.
"And now she's going to die, because you couldn't leave us alone for a week. I can't believe I ever thought that you would respect my wishes. You don't even respect my humanity."
Starlight was saying something to the group, something about Adagio, but Buck couldn't hear. Smolder was in the air again, and now she was strafing back and forth, trying to grab at the party.
"What are they waiting for? Why don't they run?" Buck whimpered. 
"They're waiting for me." Adagio's hand was on Buck's back. "Buck, I can see now that I've wounded you and...I desperately want to talk about this some more, but there's just no time. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for how I've treated you, and I'm sorry for how I've hurt you, and I'm sorry that I can't leave you alone. I don't expect you to forgive me, but please give me the power to fix this."
"You're sorry?"
"I truly am, Buck."
"Will you save them? Even Smolder?" 
Buck turned and saw the tears in Adagio's eyes.
"I'll save all of them Buck. I swear it." And then there was nothing but raw determination. 
"That's not the kind of thing a monster would say," Buck said. There was a smile on his face and a real one at that. It was small and fragile, and Adagio understood in that moment the sorts of things she would do to keep it unbroken. She drew close to him. From the corner of her eye, she saw Ditzy Doo looking up into the window, staring straight at them in shock.
"Maybe you just bring out the best in me, Buck." Adagio said. Buck chuckled and put his hands on her hips, and as Adagio's arms slipped around his neck, she glared at Ditzy from the corner of her eye, her mouth curling into a devilish grin.
"Do...do you still want me, Buck?" Adagio whispered, her lips nearly brushing Buck's.
Outside, Smolder rose high into the air, erased by the setting sun, then plunged down in a falcon's dive. Starlight held a black quartz crystal in her hand, ready to put up a barrier that she knew wouldn't stand against the dragon. 
"...of course I do." Buck sighed. Adagio puckered her lips, but instead of kissing her, Buck squeezed her to his chest. She was instantly flooded with his emotions. 
It was the taste of hot soup and a light chill. It was blankets and flame and a thousand sweet embraces. This was Buck's hug, and it tasted like family and warmth and sweet, enduring affection, and it made Adagio ache for a life that she had lost. 		
Adagio shut her eyes against the tears and let herself sink into the moment. She had found his arms again, and she never wanted to give this feeling up.
"Oh...Buck?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think you could come to love me? The way you love them?"
"...If you'd let me."
Adagio reluctantly let go of him and leapt from the window. Her fins unfurled, and her equine ears appeared atop her head.





A sound like a geyser exploding shook Smolder out of her dive. She came down, then up in a sweeping arc, turning in the air to see a wall of water bursting out of the ground. 
The party watched in awe on the ground as the river that passed through the fairgrounds blasted gallons of water into the air like one colossal fountain.
A drop of cold water fell into Starlight's hair, then rolled down her neck. Another came, and another, each drop that hit the baking summer ground rose up as a mist which immediately grew too thick to see through, blanketing everything in sight. The roaring flames muted to a hiss and then to nothing at all.
Inside of a shining wall of fog, Starlight Glimmer looked around, confused.
"What happened?" Dinky said, still clutching her present while her mother, in turn, held her close.
"...I think Adagio happened." Scoots smiled. 
Overhead, the beating of a pair of massive wings could be heard, as well as short, agitated growls.
Starlight suddenly felt a tap at her shoulder. It was her own spear, in Adagio's hand.
"It's only a matter of time before that girl flaps away this fog and comes after you again. Does anyone know what's happening?" Adagio said. Her outfit had morphed into the attire of an alewife. She had a pointed purple hat on her head and a matching Elizabethan corset above a modest yellow dress that brushed the ground. She gave the party a smile that was best described as matronly. 
"Did...you and Buck make up?" Scoots said, marveling at Adagio.
"No." Adagio smiled sadly at Ditzy Doo in particular, who was giving her a glare as rough and fragile as slate. "But I swore to him that I would save his family. And Starlight Glimmer." Ditzy's expression shattered into a puzzled look. 
"It's dragon sickness, Adagio. Have you heard of it?" Sunburst said.
"...Vaguely. I may have studied it in school. Was my behavior today egregious enough to cause a dragon to emerge?"
"No!" Scoots said.
"No?" Starlight said, incredulously.
"No. Someone else caused this. I heard a weird noise, and this dude in a cloak ran off right before Smolder transformed. Can't be an accident." Scoots continued.
"Do you know where they went?" Adagio said.
"I saw them wander off, but I had to go take care of Dinky instead of chasing." Scoots said.
"I also saw a cloaked figure, near the stalls. I think they sort of took the rage that Starlight had before." Sunburst said. 
"Curious. Well, I know the cure for dragon sickness. And that's...satisfaction." Adagio smirked.
"You are not giving Buck to that monster!" Ditzy said, blushing brightly.
"No, that isn't--no. Not that sort of satisfaction. I think?" Adagio said. "No, we need to find the object of her desire and either give it to her or destroy it." 
"That's her brother. Your date." Starlight sneered. Adagio's face twisted into a look of disgust.
"Ah, yes. Well...he's unconscious at the top of that tower. Buck is also there, for similar reasons. I'm very certain that they are locked in." Adagio said. The wing beats drew close again, and a rush of air unsettled the group. 
"She'll have our scent by now..." Sunburst said. "She's circling closer."
"I know none of you like me." Adagio said.
"I like you!" Scoots said.
"Thank you, little birdie. As I was saying, I know that most of you don't like me, especially after today--" Adagio began, but the wingbeats got even closer.
"That doesn't matter right now! You're speaking as if you have a plan! Do you?" Sunburst said.
"I do. We'll need three teams. Scootaloo, can you pick a lock?"
"...yes." Scoots admitted.
"You go and get the helpless boys, and take the toddler with you. It's safer in there."
"I'm not a baby! I'm a big girl!" Dinky huffed.
"Yes you are, darling. You've been incredibly brave, haven't you?" Adagio cooed. Dinky glowered and stuck out her tongue while her mother hid a smile behind her hand. 
"Go on, Dinky. Go with auntie Scoots, okay?" Ditzy said.
"Okay mama..." And the two were off.
"Charming. Sunburst. Sensing stones?" Adagio said.
"Yes." Sunburst said.
"Means of capture?"
"I brought a lasso spell, just in case."
"Find the cloaked figure and get them. If you can't, try to get a clue about them."
"Understood. Starlight? Can I borrow your eagle feather?"
"Sure." Starlight said, and in a flash of bright yellow aura, Sunburst wobbled up and away. "What about us? Are you going to curse me again?"
"No. I don't think I can very much trust you with power, Starlight Glimmer, and I know I can't trust you to handle a dragon." Adagio said frankly.
"What!?"
"But I will trust you to assist. Can I assume that you have one of those cheap trap spells ready?"
"...yes. I can lock her down." Starlight frowned.
"Excellent. Our task is to keep the beast here and distracted until her brother is present. By now her greed will have reached a fever pitch; if she gets distracted and flies for the city, she'll become a disaster. Ditzy Doo?" Adagio said, turning to her rival.
"I don't trust you, or your magic." Ditzy growled.
"This is Buck's magic; born of his feelings for you. Do you trust him?" Adagio said, holding out a hand. Ditzy glared at her, saw Adagio's lips tighten into a pressed line at the admission.
"Yes." Ditzy said.
"I'm going to give you the strength to protect him. It may tingle a bit, and there's no guessing what this magic will manifest as, but I'd like you to be our insurance. If Smolder gets loose, you need to hit her hard enough that she'll focus on you instead of running off."  Adagio said.
"If its to protect Buck and my daughter, I'll do anything." Ditzy said.
"And what exactly is stopping you from running off? Do you even have a reason to help us, or is this another one of your games?" Starlight said.
"I made a promise, and now I'm following through. Following through is important to me, Starlight Glimmer. Important enough that I'm willing to put my personality aside and work with you two. Are you ready?" Adagio said. Ditzy nodded, and Starlight did as well. Neither seemed especially happy about it. 
Ditzy Doo took Adagio's hand. 
Every speck of dust and soot that had fallen onto Ditzy was suddenly banished. A ribbon of golden force surrounded her body, then burst to reveal a silvery chest plate that was rounded like a ball. A pair of pauldrons appeared, taking the same shape. Her greaves were polished to a mirror shine, and in place of her leather gloves was a pair of gauntlets that formed a mitten shape over her digits. A short tabard came from beneath the armored plate, bright yellow in color and stopping at the knees. Lastly, a pair of cute equine ears poked out of her head, and two feathery wings appeared at her back.
"I...who, what? New armor? New armor!? It's...warm. Like a hug!" Ditzy said, looking down at her new gear.
From the opening at the tower's base, Dinky Doo gasped in amazement before quickly hiding again. 
Starlight's jaw had dropped, but Adagio took Ditzy in and frowned.
"What?" Ditzy said.
"Oh, nothing. It's just; I was expecting a maid uniform." Adagio's sweet smile was opposed by a sour look on Ditzy's face.
A hole opened in the mist above their heads. Smolder hovered just past it, now truly dwarfing the unlikely trio in size.
"Follow my lead." Adagio said, rolling her neck. She pulled her rapier half out of its sheath, then slid it right back in. She wouldn't need it.





Sunburst flew through the mist at the speed of a very determined bicycle. In a way, this was very exciting; what becomes of magic when it is passed between multiple people? Would the potency be diminished or increased? Is that how the Power of Friendship worked? There were so many questions and so few answers and even less time, but now as Sunburst followed a twisting trail through the charred cottages and kiosks, he watched the flickering red path solidify. There would be time for research later. He needed to remember his priorities. Now that he had a clear trail, he hovered behind a building and pulled out his phone. 
"Sweetie Drops, it's me. I'm at the ren fair, and things are getting bad. You what? Before I even arrived? Excellent, excellent. Okay. Well, I'm in pursuit of a suspect. No, the dragon is our friend. No, she's definitely a threat. How long? Great." Sunburst clicked off his phone.
He was close. If someone was stealing magic out of the air, it could only be a changeling or something unthinkable. He had read about this. A figure in a dark cloak, ambling through the back streets of Equestria, gathering power. But then why trigger a draconian transformation? If they were after power, why not target Buck?
Sunburst came around to a building that had only been lightly touched by flame. In the shadow of that structure, gazing through the mist as if it weren't there, was the cloaked figure. They looked human, but that didn't mean much since every monster looked human in this world, at first.
"...wait. Don't act before you observe. What are they after?" Sunburst whispered.





Scoots dashed up the stairs, around and around until she hit a thick wooden door with an old school padlock on it. At first, she raised a foot to kick at it then decided to knock instead.
"...who is it?" Buck said from the other side.
"It's Scootaloo, ya big doof! I'm bustin' you guys outta here!"
"Is there a plan? I kind of sent Adagio out without a plan, and I'm startin' to worry! I feel kind of out of the loop!" Buck said. Scoots felt a deep relief come out with her sigh. She pulled a survival knife from her pocket and started fiddling around with the keyhole.
"We need Garble to go down there and talk to his sister! He's the key to this!"
"For real? Well, good luck with that, since the dude's asleep-HEY!" Buck turned his head and saw Garble, now very awake, trying to climb out the tower window. Buck ran over and grabbed him about the waist.
"Let go of me, you fucking dweeb!"
"We're twenty feet off the ground! You'll break your neck if you go through there!"
"I'm dead either way if my sis catches me!" Garble said, clinging desperately to the stone frame of the window. "She's gone crazy!"
Buck heard something scratch at the door and then Scoots swearing.
"She's turned into a fucking dragon! And she ain't crazy, she's pissed, prolly because she has to deal with you doin' shit like this!" Buck planted his feet and threw Garble to the storeroom floor. "You need to talk with her, and set whatever the fuck all this is right, or we're all dead!" 
"But she'll burn me alive!" Garble said, sitting up.
"No she won't! There're three girls down there who're way tougher than me that'll stop that from happening!" 
"Then you go do it!"
"I'm not the one that went and pissed her off!"
"Well, if you care so much, I figure you can handle it!"
"Why're you so scared to talk to your sister!?"
"She's a dragon!"
"Holy shit, we're goin' in circles right now. What the fuck is the beef, here?"
"My sis is real overbearing, and she treats me like a kid whenever she comes over."
"Makes sense. You seem like the kinda guy that needs a babysitter."
"Fuck you, man!"
"No, fuck you! But go on. I'm listening." Buck sat down across from Garble, leaning against a crate.
"I was supposed to go do all this nerd shit today, but instead I hung out with a hottie all day, and I guess she's pissed about that."
"You blew off your cool little sister to follow Adagio around all day?"
"Yeah, so what!?"
"That's a dick move, man. I seem to recall you being an expert at those back in high school."
"Yeah, your girlfriend sure thinks so!"
"I don't think she does, dude."
"I was talkin' about the blonde one."
"I don't think she does, dude." Buck repeated. 
"Look, Smolder...she just doesn't get me, man! She wants me to be a crazy over achiever like her, but I'm not like that! I don't fuckin' do school, man! She thinks that nagging at me is gonna make me wanna be more like her, but she just doesn't get it. I'm doin' alright, I don't need my little sister tellin' me what to do, that's a feminine trait!"
"That's...that's a lot to fuckin' unpack, there, but what it sounds like, based on how much I know about you, that your sister is sick of seein' you do nothin'. Or maybe she's pissed that you're older than her, and you're still a high school dick head. Point is, she's tryin' to help, even if its Smolder, and her version of everything is loud and kinda over the top. But I know Smolder, and I know that if you talk it through with her, and actually explain how you're feelin' instead of pretending like you don't care, she'll listen. If you want her to give you a chance, you gotta give her that same chance, man."
"Man...I'm sorry about your bitch."
"I cannot stress enough how much I don't care who Adagio sleeps with. That's her own damn business."
"No, I'm sorry for her. We didn't even bang. She's crazy about you, man."
"She just wants me for my magic."
"You're a nerd and a dumb idiot. She never said anything about magic when I was there. She said that she was away from you, and then she showed me her tits, and then I forget."
"What?"
"Yeah, I dunno. I woke up feeling pretty out of it."
"She drank your emotions. No wonder she's been kind of erratic today; you must've infected her with dumbass."
"I'm not the dumbass, here! She was cryin' for you, man! Last night, I was at her place, out on the couch, and I heard cryin', thinkin' oh shit, did I nut in another girl when I was passed out, but no, she was sleepin' in there. But she was cryin'. She called your name."
"Really?"
"And some music junk, I think. Sonata. Daria. Whatever. I think she mumbled something about pirates and dildos."
"...How's it goin' on the door, Scoots!?" Buck shouted. No answer.





Scootaloo had been fiddling with the lock for a good few seconds when she realized that Dinky Doo was not, in fact, standing behind her. If she lost this kid again, she'd never forgive herself, and neither would Ditzy, so she jogged back down the stairs to see the pale purple kid poking her head around the tower's threshold to watch the action. Her fingers were drumming along the little golden gift.
"Worried about your mama, huh?"
"No! Yaks don't get worried about stuff! Yaks smash!" Dinky puffed out her cheeks, but she didn't look away from the thick mist. Scoots couldn't see anything in there, but she could hear the sounds of three brave women who were facing down a monster. Scoots was at a loss and working hard to not panic. What would Sunburst say at a time like this?
"How do you feel, Dinky?"
"I wanna give Mama her present! I wish I could fight, but I'm too little..."
"You wanna fight!?"
"Yaks are supposed to smash stuff! Even dragons!"
"Right, that's a thing, but even little yaks are scared of dragons!"
"Nuh-uh! Yaks don't get scared!"
"Okay, well I'm scared."
"Bat ponies can be scared! Bat ponies fly away from stuff and scream a bunch!"
"How do you know this stuff, Dinky?"
"Buck helps me read stuff from his shelf sometimes!" Dinky said, smiling. Now we're getting somewhere, Scoots thought. She took Dinky's hand and led her a bit away from the door.
"What kinda monsters do you like, Dinky? Not dragons, right?"
"I like skeletons! They do silly dances and sing songs!" Dinky explained. Buck must've been showing her old cartoons again, Scoots thought.
"That's neat, Dinky! Hey, do you wanna do another quest?" Scoots asked. Dinky nodded vigorously, happy to be included. Scoots suddenly found the little tyke extremely relatable.
"I'm really scared right now...but everybody needs me to be brave. I gotta go upstairs where its dark and dusty. Can you stay by my side, so I don't get scared?" Scoots said.
"Okay, Auntie Scoots!" Dinky chirped. The two headed up the tower's interior, together this time.
Now Scoots had to really focus. It was a big angry padlock, sure, but she'd gotten through things like this before! But then why was it so hard? Scoots fiddled and turned the knife, trying to get the tumblers to tumble out of her way, but it just didn't feel like she was getting anywhere.
"Come on, you stupid lock...! What am I doing wrong?" Scoots felt a bead of sweat roll down her face. She couldn't fail here. Not in front of Dinky and everybody else. Scoots put her forehead to the door and fought back her trembling fear. She had to be brave. She had to be awesome. But it wasn't working, and she could hear everybody else fighting, and here she was being useless as always, and--"
"Auntie Scoots? Are you okay?" Dinky said, tugging on her sleeve.





Meanwhile, inside the rolling mist, Smolder blinked in befuddlement. She saw not three horrible women trying to take her treasure but three large piles of gold and glittering gems sitting in the dusty arena. She looked left and right and up and down and saw no sign of her treasures escaping, nor her foes. Nothing but a hoard of beautiful, dazzling gold coins, waiting for someone responsible and decisive to scoop them up. Her draconic eyes filled with the golden glow, she carefully lowered herself into the thick bank of fog. The loot clinked and tinkled, coins and gems alike suddenly rolling from one pile to another until one massive pile nearly reached Smolder's eye level.
A very soft song was coming from nowhere, but Smolder didn't notice at all. All she saw was the beginning of her own horde. All she had to do was scoop it up and put it in her new tower...
"Now!" Adagio barked.
There was a spark of cyan twinkles, then a series of sticky strings shot all over Smolder and restrained her to the ground. Smolder thrashed but only managed to get more tangled in the magical web. Smolder began to breathe fire again, but Starlight Glimmer closed her fist, and the threads clamped her jaws shut. Adagio strode through the mist behind where Smolder was tied down, clearly staying out of the dragon's line of sight. She waved a hand, and the fog blew away. Ditzy stepped up to Smolder with an outstretched hand, standing resolute even as the beast gave off a muffled snarl.
"Hey...Smolder, right? It's Ditzy Doo. Remember me? The girlfriend?" Ditzy said gently. Smoke puffed out of Smolder's nostrils with each angry breath. "I know you're angry right now, and you wanna protect the boys, but we need you to calm down, so we can talk this out, okay? Your brother wants to talk to you!"
"Gar Gar...?" The beast mumbled.
"That's right! Don't you want to go see him?"
"Gar Gar." Smolder repeated. She blinked, and for just a moment, her eyes were human again.





Sunburst tailed the cloaked figure as they crept toward the proving grounds. Their stride was odd and a bit jerky, like they weren't strictly used to walking. 
"Speculate later. Just watch..." Sunburst was floating above and behind the figure, observing as they stalked around the periphery of the conflict. It looked like the girls had the situation contained for the moment, but the moment wouldn't last. 
Sunburst barely saw it. There was the slightest disturbance in the cloak and then a tiny chime, but the results were instantaneous.





"We're going to get Gar Gar for you, so you can talk this through, okay?" Ditzy said in her practiced, matronly tone. In a lot of ways, she thought, this was all just a tantrum, and she knew how to handle tantrums. "All you have to do is calm down, Smolder. Just relax. No one here is mad at you."
Smolder's eyes went wide for a moment, and her head quirked to the side as if straining to hear. Suddenly, the traces of humanity behind Smolder's reptilian visage disappeared, leaving nothing but a pair of glowing red orbs focused entirely on Ditzy Doo. Her muscles ballooned in size again, snapping several of the strings. Adagio waved a hand, and several of the puddles left from the sudden downpour narrowed into threads and threw themselves over the beast, restraining it further.
"Oh little birdie? How's the progress on that lock!?" Adagio said, wincing with the effort.
"I'm working on it!" Scoots' voice echoed from the tower. Smolder peaked past Ditzy and seemed to realize all at once what was going on. The roar of the beast forced Ditzy to put her hands up at her ears, and then it was all she could do to raise Marianne as Smolder brought her claw down in a murderous swipe. Her heels dug little pits into the ground as she absorbed the blow. Adagio was restraining Smolder's back end, but that didn't do anything for Ditzy, who was facing the front. 
"Okay, okay, plan B then, fighting a dragon!" Ditzy said. Smolder tore free of her bindings and bore down on Ditzy with gnashing teeth and mighty claws, but Ditzy skipped out of reach into the dark of the turret's foyer. Another claw swipe came for her, and she brought Marianne around, slamming the hammer into Smolder's palm with enough force to shake the dragon's arm. Smolder screeched and tried to bite down on Ditzy, but she dodged to the side, and with a spinning swing, she smashed Marianne up into Smolder's jaw. For one moment, both of them were shocked.

"Got you!" Sunburst shouted. In one hand, he held a bit of golden thread. From the pointer and index finger on his opposite hand, a beam of pale yellow energy snaked toward the cloaked figure and wrapped around their waist. Sunburst waved to Starlight and Adagio and beamed but was immediately yanked downward. The interloper had pulled on the rope just once, and Sunburst had crashed to the ground. Sunburst's glasses were tossed away as he frantically clawed at the ground, but the strength of the cloaked figure didn't waver at all, dragging Sunburst closer. 
Starlight took one look at Adagio that spoke volumes, then she ran over to Sunburst as quickly as she could.
"They just had to be across the field...couldn't be any closer, could they!?" Starlight grumbled. She winced against the pressure on her leg. She had done reasonably well in the spar with Ditzy, but now the familiar ache was settling back in, slowing her down. "Sunburst, fly up!" She shouted.
Sunburst took the air once more, but his aura was flickering. Starlight had to make this count, whatever she was going to do. The cloaked figures' feet left the ground briefly, but then it yanked on the arcane tether again, nearly dragging Sunburst back down. 
"They're doing something to Smolder...I don't know what, but we can't let them get away with this!" Sunburst grunted. 
Starlight only had one spell left, and a barrier wouldn't do her much good. On the other hand, she had a spear.

Ditzy was surprised to still be alive, but there was no way she could keep this up. Smolder's swipes were getting more frantic and desperate. While Ditzy had managed to dodge around most of them, her breathing got heavier, and her arms were starting to go numb. Another blow from Smolder came down, knocking Marianne out of her hands. Ditzy looked over her shoulder. She couldn't see Dinky. Good. She shouldn't have to see this. 
Smolder reared back and took a breath. A ball of flame formed in her scaly jaws. Ditzy saw in an instant every one of her regrets. Fillydelphia. Dinky's father. Not seeing Dinky grow into a brilliant and wonderful woman. Buck. The jet of fire came to end Ditzy's life, but suddenly the slideshow of her failures came to a halt. 
"Cover your ears!" Adagio shouted. Ditzy crouched and clapped her hands onto either side of her head. 
An operatic shriek blasted the flame into nothing, shaking the tower and stunning the marauding dragon. Ditzy opened her eyes, and for the first time, she took a good long look, not at a monster trying to steal her man but a brave woman determined to follow through on her promise. Adagio turned to Ditzy and offered a hand.
"Get up, and get your hammer. She's hardly a pushover, so perhaps we should push together." Adagio smirked.
"...right." Ditzy blushed. Adagio's assured grin broke for just a moment. She had tasted something surprising in Ditzy, but she wouldn't have any time to process it. Smolder roared and got ready to unleash her fire breath once more.
"What's the plan?" Ditzy said, quickly grabbing Marianne.
"Swing for the head! You hit her high and I'll hit her low!"
"What? How am I supposed to do that!?"
"You have wings, you silly girl!" Adagio said. Ditzy looked over her shoulders, and her wings gave an experimental flutter.
"...oh."





"This isn't my fault! I was just minding my own business yesterday, and that crazy bitch scooped me up!" Garble said.
"You wanna stop callin' her that? Lemmie answer that for ya; yes your fuckin' do."
"Yeah? What're you gonna do about it, nerd?" Garble said, getting to his feet. He had a sudden, sadistic smile on his face. For Buck, it was almost nostalgic.
"I'm gonna ask ya very nicely to cut that shit out."
"Pfft!" Garble started to laugh, but Buck had closed the distance, grabbing the man's collar with barely restrained glee.
"And if you don't, I'm gonna knock your silly ass out for the second time today and just fuckin' throw you at Smolder!"
"Alright, alright, chill out, it was just a joke!"
"Yeah, its always a joke once there's consequences." Buck said, letting go.
"We're...we're gonna die if I don't talk to Smolder, huh?"
"Seems that way."
"I guess I don't have much choice."
"Sometimes you don't, man." 
"Are you guys seriously chatting in there!?" Scoots said from the other side of the door. 
"Well, what else are we supposed to do while you pick the lock? Also, why do you know how to do that!?" Buck said.
"I...I had a bad girl phase, okay!?" Scoots said. The tower was shaking from the battle downstairs. Scoots' hands were shaking just as much as she tried to jimmy the lock with her knife.
"Come on, Auntie Scoots! You can do it! Bat ponies are good at this stuff!" 
"Bat ponies don't even have fingers!" Scoots said. 
"Scoots, hey, listen to me. You can do this. I believe in you, and I know this is rich coming from me, but you gotta believe in yourself. Scoots?"
"Everybody just stop talking! You say I can do it, but what if I just can't!? I can't just suddenly get good at something just because you tell me too! That's not how-"
*CLICK*
The padlock finally opened. Scoots took it off the door and flipped it over in her hands, her face a pure expression of incredulity. 
"Huh."
"You did it, Auntie Scoots!" Dinky said, clapping. 
The door swung inward, revealing a surprised Buck. Behind him, Garble seemed to be contemplating the window again. 
"Uh. Tag? You guys hang out in here where its safe! I'm gonna get this knuckle head down there so we can put an end to this!" Buck said, grabbing Garble by the poofy sleeve before he could run. 
"Yeah, sure, whatever..." Scoots said. Dinky Doo pulled her into the room as Scoots stared at her hands in disbelief. 
Garble heard the ground-shaking roar of his sister and immediately lost his nerve.
"Nope, nope, nope, never mind, I'm not doin' it, you can't make me!" He whined, but Buck wouldn't let him go.
"The hell I can't! Come on, Gar Gar! A man stands his ground!" Buck said, halfway dragging the man down the spiral staircase just in time to see Ditzy soar into the air and land a mighty blow on Smolder's face. The dragon's head rebounded off the wall and clattered to the ground. Adagio then unleashed an operatic shriek that blasted Smolder straight out of the tower threshold.
Ditzy hovered into the air for a second, then her flight pattern spazzed out. She bonked her head on the tower wall before returning to the ground.    
"I have never been more scared or more turned on in my entire life." Buck said, eyes wide. 
Adagio's costume change flickered as she caught her breath. 

"Just hold him there, Sunburst; I'm coming!" Starlight shouted. The cloaked figure pulled on the arcane lasso once more, pulling Sunburst close enough to grab his throat. Sunburst gagged and tried to pry the hand off his neck, but it was cold, hard, and immovable. The other hand rose, and a pale grey aura surrounded it. Sunbursts' yellow energy came pouring out of his mouth and into that hand. It was barely a mote of power. Sunburst went pale.
"NO!" Starlight screamed, her steel flashing. 
There was a sickening thud. The figure looked down to see the spear thrust straight through its back and out its chest. There was no blood. Beneath the cloak, Sunburst saw a belt with a few small mason jars hanging from it, one of which was filled with the roiling red haze of Buck's anger. The other two were empty. The cloaked figure dropped Sunburst to the ground. 
"Starlight...what have you done?" Sunburst wheezed.
"I...I didn't mean to..." Sunburst said, horror welling up in her eyes.
Suddenly, the cloaked figure grabbed the spear protruding from its chest, face still obscured by the low hood.
Its head spun around 180 degrees to stare at Starlight with glowing green eyes. Starlight tried to yank the spear free, but the grip of the interloper was too strong. The bandaged hand rose, and it attempted to drain Starlight's aura. 
There was a moment of silent befuddlement as no aura came flying out of Starlight. Sunburst took advantage of this moment, reaching up and tapping the bottom of the cloak with a small object. The figure tilted its head in confusion, then with the hand containing Sunburst's aura, it hit Starlight with a palm strike that sent her skidding across the ground. 
It stepped casually away from the defenders of Canterlot, not bothering to pull the spear from its torso, then began to run to the edge of the proving ground. Sunburst ran to Starlight, who was struggling to catch her breath.
"Are you okay?"
"What're you doing, Sunburst!? Go get him!" Starlight said. 
"I don't have any magic!" 
"You can RUN!" Starlight said. Sunburst didn't need any more prompting than that. He took off in pursuit of the cloaked figure, around a few corners until they came to a mostly destroyed cottage. He could see a glowing spell circle drawn in chalk through the soot.
Sunburst dove for the cloaked figure, but it was too late. The spell circle erupted into a column of light, and when it went out, the cloaked figure was gone.





Smolder lay face down in the dirt, struggling to rise after the beating. She was scuffed and bruised and wet, and her wounds were not knitting back together. Her breath wheezed out, twisting the air in front of her face. Adagio and Ditzy stood just inside the threshold of her new tower, standing at the ready. Smolder's wings flexed and beat once, lifting her to her feet.
"You have a shockingly strong arm, Miss Ditzy Doo. I'm beginning to understand why Buck is so enamored with you." Adagio said, giving a quick jerk-off motion. 
"Ugh. Don't you ever stop?" Ditzy said. Adagio noticed that she blushed even as she rolled her eyes. 
"Hey girls, we're here!" Buck shouted. Adagio and Ditzy turned to see Buck and a shaking Garble coming down the stairs. Smolder saw them too. Her treasures, about to run away from her, all over again. And these two thieves were to blame. Smolder's eyes went red. If she couldn't keep her treasure, then no one would have it. 
"We need to get upstairs!" Ditzy shouted, but it was too late. A monstrous blast of flame bore down on Adagio and Ditzy. Garble ran for the storeroom while Buck ran forward, hoping against all hope that he could get in front of the girls before they were burned alive, but he was too far away.
Starlight rose across the field, a chunk of obsidian in her hand. 
"Please let this work..." She muttered. The crystal flashed, and the threshold of the tower was filled with a cyan glow. It was her trusty shield spell, which had saved her life more times than she could count. 
The flames barreled into the shield, making it bow inward and then shatter completely.
Ditzy had begun to fly up and away, but Adagio grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down. Ditzy thought for a moment she was going to be thrown into the blaze, a last act of cruelty by the woman determined to ruin her life, but she saw an unmistakable softness in Adagio's eyes. 
Adagio pushed Ditzy down and laid atop her in an instant, their faces separated by less than an inch. The puddles around Smolder rushed forward to form a bubble around the two. The embrace was tender, intimate, and even a bit sensual; Adagio and Ditzy locking eyes as the flames blasted the barrier, reducing it to steam. Adagio grimaced but refused to cry out despite the tear that fell from her eye. The tiny space between them smelled like sizzling meat.
The the blaze ceased, Adagio fell to the side, leaving Ditzy to stare at her in shock.
"ADAGIO!" Buck ran to the two women. He paused briefly to look over Ditzy, who nodded, then he looked over Adagio. The back of her outfit had been destroyed, as had her hair. All Buck could see was a bloody blistered mess across Adagio's back, as if she'd been thrown in a furnace. "Adagio, babe...it's gonna be okay. Hey, Adagio?" Buck whimpered, the heartbreak wetting his eyes.
Smolder roared in triumph, then coughed. She struggled to catch her breath after the monstrous exhale. 
"Garble!? You better get down here!" Ditzy called.
"Are you c-c-crazy!?" Garble said from halfway up the stairs.
"GET DOWN HERE NOW!" Ditzy screamed with a mother's fury.
Adagio's eyes fluttered open then, and her voice rasped out of her parched lips. She looked to have aged a decade in just one moment, wrinkles settling onto her face as she smiled up at Buck.
"I promised you, didn't I, Buck? I kept them alive. Even her."
"Adagio, we're gonna get you outta here, okay? You've been burned, and--"
"Shhh...you're very pretty when you're sad, Buck, but my magic is low. Healing has always been Sonata's game, but I can try. Could you give momma a little sugar?" Buck's eyes darted around until they fell on Ditzy. 
"...go on! She's hurt, Buck!" Ditzy said frantically. Buck nodded and took Adagio's hand as if she were a slumbering princess.
"I never meant to make so much trouble. I truly am sorry, Buck." Adagio rasped. Buck smiled and shook his head.
"Princess, you're all trouble." He kissed the back of her hand, then, with all the tenderness he could muster, he kissed her forehead. Adagio sighed and closed her eyes as a soft bluish light emanated from where Buck's lips touched her. That same blue light started to come from her charred back. 
Neither saw Ditzy turn away, her hand tightening around Marianne's handle, quiet despair settling over her as she realized that Buck and Adagio's attraction was far from simply physical.
Smolder inhaled, prepared to end this battle once and for all, but then a red form moved in front of her, arms spread out. Buck noted that Garble was actually quite tall when he stood up straight, but the trembling of his knees prevented him from seeming in any way imposing.
"Sis! Stop! Leave them alone! I need to talk to you!" Garble shouted, voice cracking.
"G...Gar Gar?" The beast growled.
"Sis, I know you're pissed, 'cause I'm the one you're really pissed at! You don't need to do this!"
"Gar...Gar..." Smolder lowered her crocodilian head to be at eye level with her brother, scooping him up in her hands like a fragile porcelain figure.
"I'm sorry, alright!? I blew you off today and it wasn't the first time! I'm just sick and tired of feeling like an embarrassment when I'm next to you! You went out the west coast and you grew up, and I just hung around here being the piece of shit I've always been! And I get that you just want me to be better but you're not gonna do it by smothering me. You can't just hold someone hostage and expect them to change so they can suit you! That's not how people work! Please, Sis. Calm down so we can talk about this. Will you do it for...would you do it for Gar Gar?" 
The dragon's eyes widened as she listened to Garble's honest appeal, then looked around. She saw charred buildings and Adagio lying on her side, cradled by Buck. She saw Ditzy Doo, her armor scuffed and dented, ready to defend the couple on the ground even though it was her man holding another woman. She looked at Garble, holding his arms out to her with an earnest expression of consternation.
Smolder's eyes watered, and her draconian form burst like a soap bubble, showering the proving grounds with illusory embers. In the place of the rampaging beast was the petite orange-skinned woman in a tattered princess gown, weeping as she squeezed her older brother.
"I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry this happened! I don't even know how this happened!" Smolder sobbed.
"Aw, aw, come on, sis! You're getting snot and stuff on my shitty outfit!" Garble whined. "You don't have to cry that much, don't be such a baby!" 
Smolder stopped, looked at her brother, then punched him hard in the arm.
"Oww! What the fuck was that for!?"
"You're a selfish, immature dumbass, and you need a counselor!" Smolder said, crossing her arms. "But that's not me. I'm gonna get off your ass, Gar Gar, but you need to get your shit together!" Smolder said, raising a fist to strike again. 
"Alright, alright, I'll do it! I'll look into therapy, don't hit!" Garble said, holding his hands up. He looked down and saw Smolder hugging him again.
"Okay. I love you, Gar Gar. I really mean it."
"I know you do, sis."
"Hey, if you're looking for therapy, I might know a girl for that!" Buck said, looking up.
"No kiddin'?" Garble said.
"Buck always knows a girl." Smolder said. She smiled and rolled her eyes.
"You okay, Adagio?" Buck said, carefully helping the siren to her feet. She touched her back and shuddered. 
"I forsee a lot of ointment and milk baths in my immediate future." Adagio hissed. Her back now looked like a severe sunburn, but her trailing orange mane was charred to less than half its length.
"Oh fuck, your hair!" Buck said.
"That will be a bit trickier to restore. But it won't take all that long if you'd volunteer a bit more magic, Buck~" Adagio said. She had begun to stroke his chin, but then her wrist was yanked away by a gauntleted hand. Ditzy Doo glared at Adagio just as her magical armor blinkered out of existence.
"Aww, man!" Buck said.
"What's wrong, Buck?" Ditzy said.
"That was a good look for you." Buck smiled, taking her hand. "Platemail just...really works on you, Muffin. Have I mentioned that you look hot in armor?"
"Only every hour today, Buck." Ditzy Doo giggled as Adagio rolled her eyes.
"Mama!" Dinky Doo squealed into her mother's arms. "Mama! That was amazing, Mama! You fought a dragon!"
"Oh! Uhm...I guess I did, didn't I?" Ditzy said. "Are you okay, Dinky?"
"I'm okay, I'm okay!" 
"I can't believe we made it through that." Starlight said, walking up. She did not look okay. In fact, she seemed positively shell-shocked.
"Yes, you're very welcome. Ah, Sunburst is here! Sunburst, would you be a dear and explain how this wasn't my fault?" Adagio said, stepping around Starlight. 
"I couldn't get a good look at their face, but someone came here and manufactured this situation. They used some sort of enchantment to exacerbate Smolder's feelings; one powerful enough to make her transform fully into a dragon. They also drained some of Buck's magic from Starlight during the fight."
"What was my magic doing in Starlight?" Buck said.
"Call it a loan, Buck. I regret to inform you that part of you has been inside Starlight Glimmer." Adagio frowned. Both Starlight and Buck gagged at the same time.
"Listen! They got away through a teleportation circle! Whoever we're dealing with is armed with some potent magic, and they were strong enough to throw me around! They had Buck's anger in a jar at their waist. I can only imagine what they're going to use it for!" Sunburst said gravely. Starlight put a finger to her chin with a quizzical expression. 
"Storing magic in jars? That's a new one to me...Could it be a changeling?"
"Disguised in a cloak and manipulating magic at a high level instead of eating it? Is your brain as worthless as your barriers?" Adagio snarked.
"I've heard just about enough--" Starlight started, stomping toward Adagio. 
"So have I." Said a familiar voice. The gang looked over and saw a poised cream-colored woman in a black lady suit. She had a single hand in her pocket, which Sunburst and Starlight knew by now contained a replica memory stone. "I'm expecting a full report about today's incident from you, Starlight Glimmer. As for our guest..."
"Who're you?" Smolder said, moving to stand in front of her brother.
"A friend." Bon Bon said. "I understand you've been through a lot today, but I'd like to talk to you about what happened. These incidents are rarely ever isolated, so if you want to avoid turning into a monster in the future, I suggest you hear me out as well."
"Oh hey, Bon Bon! Been a while! How's Lyra doin' these days?" Buck said.
"She has nothing to do with this." Bon Bon said quickly.
"What about all the people that ran from the faire?" Sunburst said.
"Taken care of. There are only two roads out of here, after all.
"Lady, did I hear you right? Am I gonna turn into a dragon again?" Smolder said.
"Yes, it's possible, and I'd like to help you prevent it from happening. If you'd follow me?" Smolder looked to Sunburst, who nodded. She ran over and squeezed him into a hug, then did the same to Buck. 
"You gonna come visit us before you head back west?" Buck said, patting Smolder's head. She nodded.
"I'll come by so you two dummies can catch me up! You've got a lot of explaining to do, big bro."
"What, about my choice in women?"
"Nah, that was always sus."
"Hah! I missed you, too. Now go on, I hear that Bon Bon is the one that's got the real answers." Smolder smirked and turned around, then came back and hugged Buck again before grabbing Garble by the arm and going over to sit with Bon Bon on a non-wrecked portion of the bleachers. 
Buck then turned to Sunburst and Starlight.
"Thanks again for coming in clutch, you guys. I know neither of you planned on fighting today."
"Well, that's not entirely true." Sunburst said, giving Starlight a flat look.
"Right. I wanna thank you especially, Starlight. I saw you bustin' your ass out there, even though you were outgunned." Buck said. He smiled and offered a hand to Starlight, who shook her head.
"Don't patronize me, Buck. We wouldn't have had to fight if your crazy ex didn't come along to bother you." Starlight said with a sneer.
"I thought we established that this wasn't my fault?" Adagio said.
"You know full well that you played a part in this whole disaster." Starlight said.
"Yes, and I was instrumental in solving it. How did your capture of that cloaked creep go?" Adagio said. Starlight's only response was a frigid glare."A crying shame. Regardless, I think I've done enough for today. I'll be taking my leave now." Adagio said.
"You mean that?" Buck said.
"Did I not say that I'm a woman of my word? I'm going to give you and Miss Ditzy Doo some well-deserved space. Whatever your troubles are, they won't be coming from me."
"I appreciate that, Adagio. That's real big of you." Buck smiled, but Adagio shook her head.
"Don't thank me just yet. You and I both know this isn't over." Adagio said, perhaps to Buck or Ditzy Doo, or both. "When you need me again, and I know you will, all you need to do is come for me, or simply call." Adagio said. She smiled her most tender smile at Buck and happily drank in the twin glares she was getting from both Ditzy Doo and Starlight Glimmer. 
"You really mean it, 'dagio?"
"Anything for you, Puppycakes," Adagio said, touching his cheek. "Anything at all." She turned on her heels, winked at Ditzy, and made for the parking lot. Buck wiped the sweat from his brow, then looked at the rest of his group.
"Alright, is anyone else totally exhausted? We're allowed to go home now, right?"
"Wait! I still gotta give Mama her gift!" Dinky said. She ran up and then down the stairs at the speed of a child on a playground, holding her present out to Ditzy Doo, who kneeled down, beaming. Scoots came down, trailing behind at a much more casual pace.
"Okay, Dinky! What'd you get for Mama?" Ditzy said.
"Open, open, open!" Dinky practically shook the present, which by now was slightly trampled and very well scuffed. Still, Ditzy took it and smiled as if she planned to pin it on a refrigerator. After she opened it, the look on her face was very nearly a grimace, but she caught herself and smiled wide. 
"It's beautiful, Dinky!" Ditzy said. Dinky giggled and ran over to hide behind Sunburst, almost as if she had pulled a prank. "Buck? Could you help me put this on?" 
"Sure thing, Ditzy! Uh, what is it?" Ditzy rose and handed the box to Buck. Inside, shockingly undamaged, was a light blue hair bow with a little golden skull ornament sitting right in the middle of it. To Buck's immense relief, it had a hair clip attached to the back of it.
"Don't you dare laugh, Purple Prose..." Ditzy whispered.
"Wouldn't dream of it." Buck smiled. 
As Buck fumbled and fiddled to get the bow in Ditzy's hair, Sunburst scooped the young girl up into his arms.
"Why did you pick that gift, Dinky?" Sunburst said. Starlight seemed at a loss for words, looking from Ditzy's smiling face to the pride on Dinky's.
"Mama is in love with Buck, but she's too a-scared to tell him. The bow is pretty and Buck likes pretty stuff, so maybe he'll fall in love with Mama, too!" Dinky whispered conspiratorially. 
Sunburst looked over to see Buck and Ditzy laughing together as Buck finally clipped the bow right at the part on the side of Ditzy's head. Ditzy clasped her hands in front of her lap, looking nervously at Buck.
"How's it look?" She said, swaying a bit like a schoolgirl. 
"Would you be offended if I said it suits you?" Buck chuckled. "It looks good, seriously. It's beautiful." Buck went in to kiss Ditzy, but then he looked over at Dinky and stopped.
"It's like a nice little bookend for today, don't you think? A happy ending." Ditzy said.
"Listen, Ditzy, I'm real sorry about today, I never thought--" Buck started, but Ditzy stopped him with a finger to his lips.
"Not your fault. It was nice while it lasted." Ditzy smiled. "I mean, I got to fight a dragon! And that's somethin'! Right?" 
"Sure...well, uh, you wanna go home and hang out? Watch some TV, or whatever?"
"I think we should order a pizza. Mama's not cookin' after fighting a dragon."
"Fair. Uh...how's your tomorrow lookin'? I doubt you'll be spendin' it at the fair."
"Oooh...that's true."
"You maybe wanna go out again and do it for real this time?"
"But what about Dinky?"
"Hey, Sunburst! Would you be a bro and babysit Dinky tomorrow?"
"I'll help! I'm not doing anything after practice tomorrow!" Scoots volunteered.
"What do you think, Dinky? I've got a lot of books with cool monster drawings in them." Sunburst offered.
"YESSS I WANNA LOOK AT SKELETONS!" Dinky cheered, almost falling out of Sunburst's arms.
"I think that's a yes, Buck!" Sunburst said. 
"What!?" Starlight said. She suddenly had a look of sheer panic on her face, like she was under a spotlight but had no idea what her line was.
"Ditzy?" Buck said, smiling. "You wanna have a night to ourselves?" He had meant to make it suave, but it came out careful and nervous.
"I want to go dancing with you, Buck," Ditzy said, throwing her arms boldly around his neck.
"Oh..."
"...And then I wanna have a night to ourselves." Ditzy said. That fire from before had come back to her eyes. It brought an instant blush to Buck's cheeks. Ditzy puckered her lips and got a bit closer.
"Muffin, Dinky is lookin'." Buck whispered.
"Let her look." Ditzy said, and then she kissed him, long and deep and honest. Sunburst smiled as Dinky did a little fist pump.
Scoots looked around the wrecked fair.
"Man...I hope this place has good insurance."
The renaissance fair lay in ruins; the medieval turret was the only building that managed to come away mostly unscathed. Despite the fire and the stampede of escaping fairgoers, there were only minor injuries and zero deaths. 
Cars streamed away from the calamity, down the two-lane path that would bring them to the interstate and then Canterlot. 
No one seemed to notice the spell circle drawn in the center of that path, which both erased knowledge of everything besides a freak fire and shorted out minor electronic devices. So the reports of the event would end up being little more than scrambled footage and fuzzy memories.
None had escaped the fairgrounds without losing their experience of the events save for the defenders of Canterlot and one other person.





In a secluded cottage somewhere in the thickly forested Everfree Mountain Range, a cloaked figure emerged from a beam of light. They dusted themselves off and stepped into an adjoining room. The room had all the trappings of a winter lodge, with polished wooden furniture, taxidermy ornaments on the walls, and an unlit fireplace, around which several other figures wearing identical cloaks were in various states of uncomfortable lounging. Their postures were stiff and awkward, and none of them were conversing. They all turned their heads as one to regard their fellow.
"My mission did not go as planned, but it was far from a failure. I did not acquire the dragon's obsession, but I found a potent rage that will serve us well." The cloaked figure produced the jar containing the flare of Buck's anger and placed it on a wooden table.
The cloaked figures populating the room gave a clumsy round of applause that lacked any trace of enthusiasm. 
"That, and another rare discovery. I have found an empty vessel. We must monitor this 'Starlight' very carefully, for she may be the key to our master's great triumph."




> ((Explicit)) Chapter 24 - I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Whitney Houston)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buck couldn't believe he'd waited for so long. He'd been living next to Ditzy for two years, and he'd never guessed she was into him. It didn't matter now. Now she was here, and she was warm and soft and sighing in his ear.
He couldn't wait until the end of the night. He had spent a day at the fair trying to walk normally in spite of his boner, and now he was making lunch to surprise Ditzy, who was dropping Dinky off at Sunbursts'. 
Ditzy's sweet sighs turned into a whine. She was sitting on the counter; the pillowy breasts inside her shirt cushioned Buck's face. His hands were seeing to other important tasks.
He hadn't waited, and he hadn't asked. He had lifted Ditzy up and stared into her, and her legs had opened for him without hesitation. 
Lunch could wait, and so could the date. Buck had been burning for this woman for what seemed like years. He needed release. He lined himself up.
"Buck..." Ditzy moaned.
He reached the back in one brutal thrust.
"Buck!" Ditzy screamed. 
Finally, after the tip-toeing and the chivalry, Buck was getting what he wanted. His teeth sharpened. Something tore itself from his back. Ditzy's lewd gaze turned fearful.
"Buck?" 
Something was burning inside Buck. It wasn't a wildfire; it was a backdraft waiting behind a door. He had control, but only barely. He wanted to hold Ditzy down and pound another baby into her. He wanted to empty himself down to the last drop inside her.
Buck was finally starting to feel like himself.
"Buck! The pasta!"
Buck blinked. He was definitely still in his kitchen, but Ditzy Doo was at his side instead of on top of his cock. He looked down and saw the soggy, sticky wreckage of a ruined pot of fusilli noodles. 
"GOD fuckin' damn it!" Buck said, slapping his forehead.
"Language. Saw you spacing out in here, so I just wanted to check. Did I distract you?"
"No, no, I just cain't cook for shit. That was way too fast! What happened to my timer?" Buck reached around a bunch of kitchen tools laid out on the counter, most of which weren't necessary for pasta. He tapped his phone, and instead of an egg timer app going, there were google results for "best easy date foods to make".
"Uh...maybe you forgot to set it? Uh, oh!" Ditzy reached out quickly to turn down the heat on a pot that looked about ready to start spitting molten tomato sauce all over the stove.
"Well, at least I remember how to fry chicken. So I can do half a chicken parm, at least." Buck sighed. He was slicing open a piece of fried meat with a kitchen knife. Ditzy took the first pot off the stove before any more pasta could burn to the bottom.
"Do you want me to do the other half...?" Ditzy offered.
"Please. God, this is embarrasin'. I was trying to cook for you!"
"Don't worry about it, Buck, you did good."
"I fucked it all up."
"Language! No, I can salvage this. You go relax, okay?"
"At least let me help clean it up..."
"We can do that later! I've got this, alright?" Ditzy said. One of her eyes was focused on Buck, but the other seemed to already be on the task of finishing lunch. 
"Alright...hey." Buck slipped his arm around Ditzy from behind. She went still.
"Hm?"
"I love you, Muffin." Buck kissed the side of her neck. 
"I love you too, Buck." Ditzy folded her hands over her lap. Buck frowned and let go. 
He couldn't ruin their evening by acting like a dumb brute. Ditzy deserved to be treated better. 
Buck slumped onto the couch, defeated.
"I can't be fuckin' this up already." He whispered.
When Ditzy looked over her shoulder, Buck was sitting up straight.
Lunch ended up fine. Ditzy hadn't had southern-style chicken parm before, and the additions she made to Buck's sauce were expectedly excellent. It should have been a nice afternoon, but Buck couldn't escape the fact that he'd screwed the dish up and needed Ditzy to bail him out. Dinky liked it, at least.
"Are you okay, Buck?" Ditzy said. While she cleared the table and counter, Buck started in on the dishes.
"I'm alright. I think I'm gonna do some writing before we go out tonight."
"Okay, well, I'm gonna bring Dinky over to Sunbursts' place. I'll come and get you around sunset, okay?"
"Alright."
A little kiss, a closing door, and Buck was alone. 
It was a relief.





"Mama, is Buck my Papa?"
Ditzy felt her heart stop for a moment. 
They were a few miles north of the apartment, walking down a street that was upsettingly cleaner and smoother than the hazard zones of their neighborhood. Dinky had been jumping over cracks in the sidewalk and humming quietly, but now she was stopped, looking at Ditzy with open-eyed concern. 
"I gots homework, and we gotta write a thing about our mamas and papas! I wanna do it so I can run around with Auntie Scoots and Uncle Sunburst!"
"That's very responsible, Dinky! But, you know they don't always fight monsters?"
"Oh..."
"What's wrong, Dinky Doo?" Ditzy said. She stopped her trot and took a knee.
"I told about how you were so cool when you fought a dragon, and Miss Cheerilee told me good girls don't lie..."
"Aw, Dinky...that's a secret! Nobody else knows about it, that's all!"
"But you did! You did fight a dragon, I seen it!"
"Shh...you know how He-Man is secretly Prince Adam? We have to keep all this stuff secret!"
"Oh! Shhh!" Dinky mimicked the finger that Ditzy had put to her lips. They giggled at each other, and they continued their walk. "Mama?"
"Yeah, baby?"
"I don't wanna lie on my homework. Is Buck my papa?"
"...no, Dinky, he's not," Ditzy said, finally. Dinky looked at the ground. "Do you want Buck to be your papa?"
"I dunno..." 
Before Ditzy and Dinky were a set of vast glass doors with a sign above that read 'TenPony Towers'. According to her text, Sunburst's suite when a few floors up, and just a bit further was where Adagio lived.
Ditzy prayed she wouldn't run into Adagio here.
Dinky oohed and ahhed at the flashy lobby, her troubled expression lost in the glamour of the ornate chandeliers and the elaborate patterns in the carpet. 
Ditzy was suddenly surrounded by people bearing the weight of pretentious boredom, flanked by clerks bearing the weight of their luggage. Ditzy's finely honed food service sense told her that this meant a stuffy business convention was in town, and that would mean big orders with small tips were on the way at Sugar Cube Corner. Ditzy held on tight to Dinky's hand as they worked their way through the crowd, trying to find the elevator. 
Somehow, they circled around back to the entrance. Ditzy worked very hard in that instant not to let Dinky see her grinding her teeth.
"Are you lost?" Said a familiar voice.
Ditzy turned to see tired blue eyes, long purple hair and a cup of coffee held in a death grip.
"Oh, hi Starlight! You know me; I could get lost on the way to the kitchen!" Ditzy said with almost a laugh.
"Well, if you walk along the wall from here, you'll hit the elevators on the other side in no time. Do you know where Sunbursts' floor is?" 
"Yeah. I think I'll be able to take it from there...thank's Starlight!" Ditzy smiled.
"Don't mention it." Starlight said.  A painful and awkward memory sat on Ditzy's chest, but Dinky stopped staring at the reflective ceiling and noticed Starlight's presence.
"Are you the lady from the fair!?"
"Uh...yes? I was there, yes."
"SHHH!" Dinky shushed and beckoned Starlight to kneel down. Ditzy smiled and nodded, and so Starlight listened to what Dinky had to say.
"The dragon stuff is a secret! But I like your magickey stuff! It's pretty neat!"
"Thank you?" Starlight stole another glance at Ditzy and saw a scowl in progress, which faded as she noticed Dinky's bubbly excitement.
"What's your name? I'm Dinky Doo!" 
"Oh, Dinky, this is Starlight Glimmer! She's-"
"Leaving. I'm going out for the night. You and Buck stay safe tonight, Ditzy. I'll see you around."
"Will you...?" Ditzy mumbled.





Buck's fingers sprinted back and forth across the shiny, smudged keys of his laptop's keyboard. 
It seemed like ages since he gotten an article out, and normally that thought would drive him to put something fast and dirty together in a flurry of creative angst.
Unfortunately, all he managed to do with that angst was write and erase an opening paragraph about fifteen times. 
After staring at the headline 'An Idiot's Guide to Canterlot Gig Work,' for a daydream's length, Buck's hands stopped their meaningless prance. By then the sun was setting.
A click.
Buck's eyes darted through a drop-down of inexplicable friend requests to his one and only social media page. It was private, of course.
"Buncha dickheads..." Buck mumbled.
Two clicks. 
Buck checked the email receipt he'd gotten after ordering new glasses. He hoped they were the most expensive purchase of the year.
Another click. 
Buck's attention span limped across a field of people asking to set up interviews or talking about the boardwalk or Adagio or blah blah blah. None of them offered pay.
"Don't need to answer those."  
And not a single bite for his writing. Another article pitch ignored, another short story offer thrown out. There wasn't even any criticism, just the word "No" in the form of a few flowery paragraphs. 
Buck's forehead touched the desk.
"Am I in a slump, or has my work always been shit?"
He was tired of squinting at a screen, so he glared at the calendar and recieved another grim reminder. Rent was coming up.
The bit of financial cushion he'd gotten from that night with Harshwhinny had pulled him away from the edge of destitution, but it was only a matter of time before his debt or his rent or god forbid a hospital bill would take it away.
Tonight was meant to be an escape from that anxiety, but it had its own set of stressors jabbing at Buck's grey matter.
After a week of peace with Ditzy Doo, that familiar anxiety of 'what the fuck else is gonna shit in my bed' was starting to settle in. It reminded Buck of college.
Buck reached over and tapped his phone a couple of times.
"Hey, Buck!" Said Sunburst.
"Hey, babe. I just wanted to check on how Dinky's doin'."
"Buck, I've told Ditzy twice now that Dinky is fine! Scoots is reading a monster manual to her, and Dinky has been asking all kinds of great questions, like 'Does the tooth fairy visit dragons?', 'Do skeletons have families?' and, most frequently, 'How does it poop?'. " Sunburst laughed.
"Okay, okay. And she's got her toothbrush and everything? Do you need us to swing by and bring anything? Crayons?"
"Buck, it's just one night. You sound like she's going off to summer camp. You also sound stressed. What's the matter?"
"Is he over there worrying again? Tell him to stop worrying!" Scoots shouted from somewhere on the other line.
"I'm not worrying," Buck said. The line was silent. "Okay, I'm definitely worrying."
"I don't think you're in danger of any big bursts of magic, are you? Starlight and I have been working on something to help with that."
"No, I don't think I'm gonna explode tonight. That might be productive. I'm sittin' here with fuckin' writer's block, twistin' myself into knots." Buck sighed. 
"And that's stressing you out."
"Yeah! I feel like I've lost the plot, Sunburst. Like I'm just goin' through the motions, just waitin' for some bad shit to happen. I just get this nagging feeling that I'm supposed to be doin' somethin' right now instead of taking the night off."
"Yeah, that sounds familiar. You and Starlight should compare notes."
"That's real fuckin' funny, bro," Buck said flatly.
"You need to get out of your head. You've had an insane month and you need to relax. There's nothing wrong with resting; we're humans! We need to rest!"
"...right. But what if I screw it up? What if I say something that pisses her off? Or I come on too strong? What if even though we finally have a night to ourselves, she finally decides she can't fuckin' stand me? Ditzy said she wanted to go dancing, and she needs a nice night without any major crap-ups. What if I can't even provide that?"
"What do you want?"
"Like, like in terms of my life, or like, out of a relationship, or like, this week?" Buck heard the kind of sigh that often came from behind a GM's screen.
"Right now. What does Buck want right now?"
"...Buck just wants to be happy."
"Well, Buck, to be happy, you need to take care of your wants and needs. When you're with Ditzy, you can't take your eyes off her. When you aren't stressing, I see you two settle into a coziness that I'm frankly a little jealous of. And I know you, Buck."
"Better'n anyone."
"You need that. That comfort, that care for one another, that's what you need, right now."
"Uh-huh."
"But you've got writer's block. Sounds to me like you need a new outlet."
"Guess its a good thing we're goin' dancing, huh?"
"Buck, can I be perfectly honest with you?"
"Always, bro."
"Maybe you're feeling trapped because you've got what you need...but not what you want."
Buck shut his eyes and gritted his teeth. Somehow, Sunburst always managed to find a nerve that needed pinching. 
"If you want my advice, you should enjoy your night and not worry about it too hard."
"You always say shit like that."
"And you always need to hear it!"
"...Fair enough. Love you, brother. I'll see ya on Tuesday."
Buck killed the call and stared out the window. 
The door opened.
"Buck? Are you ready to go?"
Buck looked over and forgot where he was or what he'd been worrying about.
Ditzy stood with one hand on the doorknob of Buck's apartment, the embers of dusk spotlighting her with a warm glow. 
She was wearing a pair of leather jazz shoes. A messy bun would keep her hair in check on the dance floor, with a pair of bangs framing her face. Red painted lips curled over a string of gleaming pearls. The rest of her was outlined by a little blue dress with a plunging neckline, showing off her glorious canyon of cleavage. She also happened to be wearing the blue bow with the little golden skull that Dinky had gotten her.
One yellow eye trailed up and down Buck's form, slovenly dressed in a lightly stained tank top and a pair of pyjama pants.
"I guess not." Ditzy giggled. 
Buck scrambled out of his chair, trailing apologies as Ditzy took a patient seat on his couch.
After mumbling and thumping around for a bit, Buck emerged from his bedroom in a long-sleeved shirt and a pair of brown suspenders.
"So, normal date night; take two. You ready?" Buck smiled. He helped Ditzy up, then looked away as she adjusted his bow tie.
"I am...and now you are too!" Ditzy smiled, taking Buck's arm as they headed out. 
As they approached Ditzy's car, there was a near stumble, but Buck's firm posture kept her steady.
"You're, uh...you're gonna have to let go of my hand if you're gonna drive us there." Buck chuckled as a fresh blush raced across Ditzy's face. 
"Right, right, sorry! Kinda zoned out a little..." Ditzy panicked, dropping Buck's hand to fumble with her seat belt.
"Here...let me just put this right here. Is that alright?" Buck rested his hand on Ditzy's thigh. Ditzy went still and nodded. She was trembling, just a bit.
"You nervous?"
"Excited! Just excited to, uh, show you my moves!" 
In a way, it was reassuring. Maybe she's just as wound up as I am, Buck thought.
"Hey. Muffin?" Buck squeezed her thigh as the car sputtered to life.
"Yeah, Buck?"
"Let's really cut loose tonight."
"Mhm." 
The trembling stopped. The car drove out of the parking lot, bound for the business district.





Summer nights in Canterlot tended to be cold, wet, and miserable, and this one was gearing up to be the worst of those worlds. There was no rumbling in the overcast sky, just a grey mess of drizzling blurriness. Anyone who stayed out here for too long would be soaked to the bone. 
It was lucky then that Starlight Glimmer hadn't had to look long. A beam of hazy cyan light led Starlight through the dim maze of alleyways in Canterlot's business district, the beam slowly getting brighter.
Before getting any closer to danger, Starlight stopped to answer a call in a relatively dry shadow, and now she had a hand on her hip, speaking in a hushed tone.
"I just think it would be better if we went with them. Just because they want a night off that doesn't mean evil will take a night off." Starlight said.
"Aw, as a double date?"
"As security."
"They need rest, just like we do."
"You rest. At least one of the defenders of Canterlot needs to be out here while mysterious cloaked figures are prowling the streets."
"You can't keep going like this, Starlight. I know that yesterday was a disappointment, but you don't have anything to prove." 
"I still have some components I can use if things get hairy." 
"That's not what I mean. You're exhausted, Starlight. You're burning yourself out."
"I know, I know, I know, alright!? But there's someone out here right now that can turn people into monsters! I need to chase this up while the trail is still hot."
"Maybe if we had asked Adagio, she would have-"
"Volunteered to ruin another date? No. Just because she played nice yesterday, that doesn't change anything. She only helped because she wants to get close to Buck."
"That may be, but if she's trying to keep Buck safe, even if she has other motives, she's useful."
"She doesn't get to play at being a hero just because she's after Buck."
"She saved Ditzy's life." 
"Because Buck asked her to. She was just helping to get back in his good graces. I'm telling you, this is all part of her scheme, and we can't afford to trust her when she could lash out at any moment. I don't need her, anyway. We don't."
"Just..don't take any unnecessary risks tonight, alright?" 
"You know you can count on me. I'll be fine."
The line was quiet. Starlight wondered for a moment if the call had dropped.
"Starlight?"
"Yes?"	
"Come back to me." Starlight's cheeks turned rosey in the wet gloom of the alleyway. 
"I will." She said.
"I love you."
"I know."
The call ended and a sudden chill shuddered Starlight's spine. 
She turned around, clutching at a quartz crystal in her pocket, but the only sound was the light patter of rain on concrete, and the only assailant was the cold dampness of the night.
"Could've sworn..." Starlight muttered.
For just a moment, Starlight was sure that someone was following her.
She was right.





"Is this the place?" Buck said. After a desperate struggle to find an elusive business district parking spot, Ditzy and Buck walked quickly down a flight of stairs leading to a door with a flickering light. The sign above the front of the building said: "The Rainbow Factory" in a dazzling display of neon colors. "I mean, this ain't the first time I've entered a club from the side entrance, but how do you know this is the spot?"
"Oh, you just have to know, is all!" Ditzy smiled. She knocked precisely three times on the door and spaced them in a deliberate manner.
"Mysterious! You been gettin' insider scoops on dance clubs from your homies on the streets?" Buck chuckled.
"Yes! I mean, no, I..." Ditzy stammered. A little slat opened to reveal an intense stare.
"Who we got?" Said a gruff voice.
"Uh, It's Ditzy Doo. I'm on the list, and I brought a plus one." Ditzy said. The pair of eyes darted away for a few seconds, and then Buck heard a pen scratching paper.
"Got it. Come on through." The door cracked open, allowing Ditzy to lead Buck by the arm down a dark, dingy hallway. From the far end, Buck could hear a jaunty tune playing over the sounds of extroverts loudly extroverting at each other.
"...bold, Ditzy." Ditzy mumbled to herself.
"Huh?"
"I've been taking jazz dance lessons down and the rec for a while. My friends recommended this spot to me when I asked where to go dancing. I wanted to show you my moves!" Ditzy said. 
"Huh, no wonder you charleston like a pro." Buck said. "What made you wanna try jazz dance?"
"Oh, no reason! Haha, just a little change of pace, you know? Don't wanna just sit around knitting in my free time! That'd be boring, and I gotta watch my figure somehow, right?" Ditzy tittered. Buck's eyes shifted to try and read Ditzy's face, then took a tumble down her cleavage on the way.
"I don't think you gotta worry about your figure, Muffin." Buck said.
"Why's that?" Ditzy said, looking up at him.
"I'm gonna be watchin' it all night."
The two of them stepped through the bright threshold, emerging onto a space filled with stomping feet and rolling hips. A basement club with a brightly lit bar and a wide floor space full of folks in outfits from the twenties and thirties getting down to the bassy beat and wailing trumpets. 

The food at the bar wasn't much of anything to write home about. Ditzy saw Buck pick idly at a pile of greasy chicken wings while she stared down a small order of fries. 
Yesterday's events hung on a hook in her mind. Somehow she had walked away a hero. Well, sorta. She had definitely impressed Buck, but when they got home, she had mentally deflated into the routine of putting dinner together for Dinky before calling it a night.
She had spent a long shower trying to wrap her head around everything that happened and kept coming back to the thought of Adagio smiling, telling her that she was sharing Buck's magic. 
His care and affection. 
It was the first time Ditzy had seen the horrible witch compromise. That was frightening, but what scared her more was the way Buck looked at her.
Adagio had come to mess with Buck; she'd had to. She even tried to beat Ditzy at the proving grounds, but the second Buck was in danger, it was like she became another person. She had taken charge without even thinking about it. Ditzy and even Starlight had fought by her side! What in the world was happening? 
She just wanted Buck for his magic, right? That's all it was. She would do anything to get at him, Ditzy thought, but there it was again.
The image of Adagio's pained expression as she took a blast of flame in Ditzy's place. Buck holding Adagio in his arms.
She had even said she would give Ditzy and Buck some space.
And the whole time, while Ditzy fought by Adagio's side, she didn't feel scared or angry at her. 
All she could think about was how much she wanted to protect Dinky and Buck.
And how exciting it all was.
"Muffin? Y'alright?"
"Yesterday was pretty exciting, huh?"
"More like exhausting. If I'd known we'd be dealin' with a dragon, I'd've blown off the fair completely. And don't get me started on Adagio showin' up outta the blue."
"It was kind of an emotional rollercoaster, wasn't it?"
"I'm just glad you weren't hurt, Muffin. We ought to send Adagio a tray of tarts or somethin' for that."
Ditzy frowned.
"...she called you 'Puppycakes'. What was all that about?" 
"Well, uh, it's a nickname she made up when she was at our game night that one time. I play a Diamond Dog Bard."
"Oh, like a kobold?"
"Yeah, that's another name for 'em."
"I bet you'd be a cute puppy, Buck!"
"Yeah?"
"Mmhm...let me guess...you'd be a labrador!" 
"Huh?"
"A big fluffy sweetheart that likes to sit in laps even though you're a big boy! Smart and sweet...and silly!" Ditzy laughed.
"And a soft mouth?" Buck smirked. 
"Yeah! You handle things gentle-like. That's my Buck..." Ditzy said, letting the innuendo fly over her head. 
"You think I'm gentle?" 
"In here." Ditzy reached across the table and tapped Buck's chest.
"Well, I was surprised by you, yesterday. I never thought you could be so fierce, Muffin!"
"Fierce...you like girls that are fierce, huh? Is that why?"
"Huh?"
"Is that why you picked Adagio?"
Buck's lackadaisical expression fled the country. An association pinged in his head. This was important. He didn't know why, but this was important, and he had to confront it.
"...I mean, yeah, I guess? You know, even though I've done the work that I've done, girls don't really pay me much attention unless they're after somethin'. I think it's maybe because I'm kind of intimidating at first glance, or my reputation, or the way I talk. It's also a hetero thing; girls get conditioned to think that guys will just come and bother them if they're interested, which is true. But that ain't me, and so girls just sorta ignore me, or if they're interested, they don't do nothin', because I'm supposed to make the move. But how am I supposed to know? I'm an introvert; I'm not about to go bother someone unless there's a reason, and 'you got nice tits' is not a reason, you know?"
There was something in Buck that had been sad for a long time, and Ditzy hadn't seen it. Maybe he had been waiting for her to say something, and by the time she was ready to try, it was too late.
"But 'dagio was different. She saw me at speed dating and she gave me this 'look' you know? And when we talked, she made it clear as crystal that she wanted me. Just from a look; she decided that she wanted me, out of all the people in that bar. That's never happened to me before. I know it's not manly to say it, but it's...it's nice to know that you're wanted."
A cold fury settled into Ditzy. How long had she tried to get Buck to notice her? How many times had she cried in bed, thinking that she was invisible to him?
"Don't matter though. She wasn't really after me, anyway. It was my magic. She could probably smell it across the room. That's why it hurts, you know? I thought she wanted me, that there was a girl who was interested in me, just for me, but turns out she just wanted to use me. I should know better. Shouldn't let her trick me like that."
Ditzy took Buck's hand. She could see a pile of things he wasn't saying, but she tried to push through them.
"Then why, Buck? Why were you so warm with her at the fair? Why did you...why did you hold her like that?"
"Well, because she needed me. And you all needed me, too, and I knew...I trusted Adagio to save you. Because even though she's mean and cruel, even though she just wants my magic, she's not a monster, Ditzy. A part of her cares about me, and she's willing to fight at your side and save your life because if something happened to you, my whole world would fall apart! And I think she knows that." Buck had the smallest, most fragile smile on his face. 
"I hate her."
"Muffin."
"No, please. Let me say this, and that's all I'm going to say about it. I hate her." Ditzy squeezed Buck's hand and spoke with a hushed, shaking anger.
"I hate that she looks at you like a piece of meat. I hate that she struts around like she owns the world, and I hate that you like that. I...I recommended speed dating because I was going to go there and surprise you."
"Ditzy..."
"I was going to show up and I would be like 'Hey! Hi, it's me! You know, your neighbor! The silly girl that fell in love with you and doesn't know how to tell you!'. But then she came along and took you away. And I had to sit and smile and watch her crawl all over you and treat you like a pet. And I knew she was bad, but I didn't say anything because at least you looked happy! Happier than I ever made you! And you broke up and all that stuff with the changeling happened, but I was glad! I was glad, because even though you went through a lot, I had you, and I could help you heal and keep you safe and love you, finally, I could love you!" 
Ditzy was doing everything she could to stop herself from screaming. Buck could see tears starting to pool in her eyes, so he moved closer to her in the booth, silently holding her hand between his.
"I was so excited to go out yesterday, Buck. When she showed up, I thought I could beat her back and she would leave us alone. But then...I saw the way you looked at her. I thought she cast a spell on you or something, but she never did, did she? She just came into our lives and she, she just fucked everything up, but when she went down, you held her and you looked at her like she was the most precious thing in the world, like a treasure you didn't get to keep, and she doesn't even care about you!"
Ditzy reached up and held Buck's face in her hands, and the hurt in her eyes was so deep and moving that Buck had to fight back his own tears.
"But I love you, Buck! I've loved you for so, so long, and I'm jealous because even after everything she did, she gets to sit in this space in your heart that was supposed to be mine! I won't let her take you away again!" Ditzy sobbed. Her hands dropped to her sides and her face slipped down to sit against Buck's chest.
"I saw you first..." She whimpered.
Ditzy thought then that Buck would leave. That he'd get up and go for a walk and she'd never see him again. Instead, he slid an arm around her and squeezed her tight, and let her breathe against him. He smelled like cologne, and Ditzy felt like she could fall asleep right here, right here in his soft, strong arms.
"Please say something..." Ditzy said.
"I don't wanna talk about Adagio tonight. You need to know that I'm out here because of you. Because I love you, Ditzy Doo, and I'm sorry for how confusing and chaotic things've been, but I want to make it up to you. I want tonight to be about you and me and nobody else. Do you wanna leave?" 
"No, I wanna stay." Ditzy whimpered. "I don't wanna muss up the night." 
"Alright. Then how about you sit here and take a breather while I go get us some drinks?"
Ditzy looked up and saw a sweet smile on Buck's face. There wasn't a hint of anger in him. He wiped a tear away with his thumb. 
"Okay." Ditzy smiled, letting Buck get up.
"Okay? You sure? Because you don't have to drink if you don't want to."
"White russian!" Ditzy said.
"You sure?"
"Double!"
"Uh. You still gotta drive after this, don'tcha?"
"..Single!"
"Okay, Muffin!" Buck chuckled. He took a few steps toward the bar, then he turned around and hugged Ditzy again before properly heading off.





Back at Sunbursts' suite, a three-ring binder was opened with no small amount of pomp and circumstance. Within was page after page of numbers, notes, and scribblings. Dinky Doo excitedly flipped through it, looking at the pictures and crude drawings accompanying the data. She was captivated.
"Ughhh! I'm sooo boooored!" Scoots groaned from where she hung upside down from Sunbursts' couch.
"What's the matter, Scoots? I thought you'd be happy to relax after how chaotic the fair was?" Sunburst didn't look up. 
At the moment, he was writing down notes around a very detailed illustration of the shoggoth tentacle that Adagio had recovered from the boardwalk incident.
"Why? I barely got to do anything..." Scoots pouted. "Starlight is out doin' batman stuff, and Buck and Ditzy are dancing and drinking, and they're gonna...boink. And I'm stuck inside bein' responsible and junk. Makes me feel boring to just lay around here."
"Really?"
"I'm not saying that you're boring, most of the time! I just...I dunno. I feel left out. Like nobody cares if I'm there or not. You ever feel like that, Sunburst? Like you're getting left behind?" Scoots frowned.
"Well..."
"This one! Tell me about this one!" Dinky said, holding up a sheet that showed a familiar-looking batpony with colorful hair and a missing eye. The drawing had both Buck and Sunbursts' signatures at the bottom.
Sunburst smiled and cleared his throat.
"Her name is Chillwing. She's a batpony rogue who's stealthy and stabby but not very subtle. Among her companions, she is easily the swiftest, and with her clever ears, she's the best at finding both loot and trouble! Despite her tendency to get the group into sticky situations, she is considered invaluable for her bravery and willingness to throw herself into danger at a moment's notice!" Sunburst said in a near booming announcer voice. Scoots blushed.
"Wow, wow, wow! That's super cool!" Dinky said.
"It's not that cool..." Scoots said, scratching her head.
"You know, Scoots, downtime is an important part of any job. You don't run every day, right? You've got to take time to recover to stay in top shape."
"I guess..."
"And besides, sitting around and being responsible can have its perks. I mean, have you ever met someone so interested in your character backstory?" Sunburst smiled and nodded at Dinky, who was dragging her finger slowly across the lines of text on Chillwing's character sheet, occasionally stopping and going back over it again.
"You want to know why Starlight and I put our lives on the line?" Sunburst said.
"...because you like fighting monsters and doing magic and stuff?"
"No. It's so people don't have to worry about all those monsters and magic and stuff. So families can sit around and be bored without fear of the things that could be skulking around the city streets." He gestured at Dinky. "That's what it's all about."
"Is Starlight your Mom? Did she give you that weird thingy?" Dinky said, pointing at the bottled tentacle.
"Yeah, Sunburst, do you call her Mommy?"  Scoots snerked.
"No! She is, well, we...she's my girlfriend, Dinky. We love and care for each other." Sunburst said.
"Oh. Is she like Chillwing? I saw her do magic!" 
"...your Mom probably doesn't want us to talk about that kind of thing, Dinky." Sunburst said.
"Okay..." Dinky said glumly. For Sunburst, this was heartbreaking. Curiosity should be rewarded, he thought, not suppressed.
"Starlight Glimmer is a beautiful and brilliant warlock of great skill! She doesn't have any special powers, but she uses her smarts to navigate the battlefield instead. Starlight is always fighting for justice and for the safety of the people around her, putting everyone before herself. She likes to fly around on a spear like a skateboard, and she has an arsenal of minor spells at any given time. She's a hero." Sunburst said. 
"Wooow!" Dinky said. She scrambled across the room, grabbed some paper and crayons from her little backpack, and started scribbling a purplish blob. 
"Oooh...are you sure that's okay?" Scoots said.
"Hero work is a thankless, dangerous job. We all want to be appreciated, right?" Sunburst said. "Besides, it can't hurt. Ditzy and Starlight seem to know each other pretty well."
"Yeah...what's up with that?"
"I don't know, Scoots. Even though the two of us are together, Starlight still has her secrets. I figure she'll tell me when she's ready."
"Are you sure about that?" Scoots said.
"I trust her. She's far more capable than she realizes. Just like you are."





There it was again. A slight chill running down Starlight's neck. She turned suddenly. 
Was there a splash? Starlight saw nothing and no one. She rubbed her eyes, thinking maybe Sunburst was right.
Her tracking talisman had led her to a claustrophobic bit of alleyway. Starlight pocketed it as she hunched behind a dumpster. 
Down the alley, under the shade of an overhanging roof, stood a cloaked figure. They were chalking out a spell circle on a bit of dry wall. There was a flash of yellow light, and then Starlight heard a familiar voice. 
"Are you at the drop-off point?" It was low and matronly and buzzed like a dragonfly's wings.
"Yes! It's lovely to see you again, queen! How're things at the hideout?" The cloaked figure's voice was feminine and bizarrely cheerful.
"Spare me your inane pleasantries, human." Chrysalis spat. "Did you bring what we agreed on?"
"Of course!"
"Let me see it." Chrysalis said.
The cloaked figure produced two mason jars which would have been entirely ordinary if they weren't filled with glowing pink energy.
"That isn't his energy. His energy is like a flickering flame."
"Sure, but it's twice as much as you asked for!"
"It doesn't look anywhere near potent enough."
"Unfortunately, he's too well watched and guarded for us to make a move. We could offer you some of his rage if you'd prefer that?"
"Are you insane? If his rage is as potent as his love, then-"
"Then stuff the grumbling and take what we're offering, kay? We need more scouts to find more magically capable candidates, and the ones you sent are melting into goo. It's super gross."
"You expect me to produce capable spies with the paltry magic of this realm, and then offer me trickles as payment!? Who exactly do you think you're dealing with!?"
"An individual who is useful to the goals of my master. Nothing more, nothing less." The cheery candor turned to a still malice in an instant.
"You pathetic little toady..." Chrysalis growled.
"Look, you know that once our mission is complete, you can have all the raw mana that you want. Right now, we can only spare this much. Do we have a deal?" Starlight held her breath in the silence that followed. 
"...very well, then. How many do you need?"
"At least enough to replace the ones you've sent."
"It will be done. You can expect them in the usual place." Starlight heard a sound like a laughing cricket somewhere above her head.
"Uh, no. We need to take these exchanges out of the city. There are eyes everywhere. In fact, I need to deal with some right now." The figure waved a hand, and the yellow light guttered out. 
A chittering hiss was Starlight's only warning. She rolled to her feet just as a glob of green slime thumped into the spot where she had been. 
Starlight squeezed a little clay effigy in her pocket, and a javelin tore itself free from the concrete and flew to her hand. She looked up and saw a crowd of dark shapes with glowing green eyes crawling on the walls. 
"Ah. Starlight Glimmer! You've saved me the trouble of looking for you." Said the cloaked figure. Starlight turned to run and found three malformed, slavering changelings blocking her way. She turned back, sneering.
"Yes, I know who you are. You may want to put that stick down, sweetie."
"If you know who I am, you know I'm not just going to go quietly!"
The changelings laughed like a swarm of cicadas. The cloaked figure held a hand up.
"No maiming, now! Capture her alive!"
Starlight's eyes darted for some sort of escape, but the changelings were everywhere. She cursed herself for not having any more invisibility charms. No space to run. That meant that the only way forward was through.
Starlight took a step. A changeling shrieked through the air and found itself impaled.
In a way, this was a relief.
Another changeling came for her, but Starlight pivoted and splattered its head against the wall with her heel.
There were no messy emotions on the battlefield. Just the sound of her heart in her ears. Just a simple goal. No need for compromise, nothing but an infinite stretch of do or die, played out in a few critical moments. 
Starlight knew she couldn't waste her components on these small fry. The real threat was at the end of the alleyway. A set of gleaming teeth under a dark hood. Starlight wondered why the hell she was smiling. It pissed her off. 
The javelin shot a cold clarity through her hand. It was getting warm with the changeling's slime. There was a scratch at the back of Starlight's neck as she advanced through the flailing bodies. One at her hip. A blow to her side sent her bouncing off the wall, but she turned and used the momentum to strike the changeling in the stomach then pierce its face. 
Her muscles ached. Her breath was coming out in ragged beats, but she kept walking forward; punching, snapping, stabbing until her arms and legs were coated in the foul smelling slime. 
How many had she killed? Did they even count as alive? They were just bits of energy that was stolen from someone in this city. They didn't belong in this world. 
Starlight's grunts turned to barks and then screams as she tore through the changelings with nothing but her javelin and her anger pushing her forward. She nearly fell to her feet as a changeling charged into her back, but she caught it's arm and smashed it against the alley wall with her shoulder over and over until it crunched like a stamped roach.
She knew if she had just the right opening, she could catch the cloaked figure, but what then? She had made a promise. She needed to see Sunburst again. She needed to prove herself.
More than anything else, she needed sleep.
The changelings prowled toward Starlight, tensing to pounce at any moment. Despite the mess of green goo Starlight had left in her wake, there were still more creatures to slay.
"You won't escape, hun! And there's nowhere you can hide. Not in my master's new city." 
She had to think, form a plan. Her heart was thumping in her chest. Her leg ached from the cold.
With a shaking hand, she pulled a piece of quartz from her pocket.
The chattering of the remaining changelings ceased abruptly, leaving only the sound of gathered mist dripping down into the alleyway.
Over her own burning breaths, Starlight heard a noise that chilled her to the core.
The deliberate clacking of heels coming from down the alleyway. 
A familiar song drifted out of the darkness, and streams of greenish energy leaked out of the disgusting creatures blocking Starlight's way.
"I must have misheard you. You're new, so I'll be sweet, and set the record straight." Said a voice dripping with playful malice.
A pair of wide, swiveling hips stepped around the sagging changelings as they melted into steaming puddles of slime. She was in heels, of course, but like Starlight, she was wearing a dark hoodie. One with a pink interior. Starlight recognized it as one of Buck's. 
Her remaining hair had been pulled into a frizzy ponytail, and her eyes glowed red in the dingy shade of the alleyway.
"I'm Adagio Dazzle. And this is my city." 





"So now its three in the mornin', I'm waddling out of the fuckin' Bay, I'm wearin' a feather boa, got a smiley face drawn on my dick with sharpie, and I say to Capper; 'You better fuckin' pay me back for this, man.' And he just looks at me--totally straight faced--and says 'For the business, or the pleasure?' And that was my first time at the Folsom Street Fair." 
"Pfft-HAHAHAHAAH!"
Buck and Ditzy were both red-faced, a few drinks in, and laughing so hard they were starting to tear up.
"And what about Ragamuffin's yacht?" Ditzy said, between giggles. Buck's guffaw suddenly crashed into a thousand-yard stare.
"Well, I mean, it was his Dad's yacht, so..." He sipped at a mint green drink, eyes shifting around.
Ditzy stared at him for a moment, then started laughing again. 
"Coast Guard's prolly still lookin' for it, if I'm bein' honest."
"I had no idea your college days were so crazy!" Ditzy said, finally coming down.
"Yeah, that was about the last year before everything went to hell, but it was all sorts'a wild! Sunburst can tell ya!" 
"What're people on the west coast like?"
"Well, everybody's busy. Everybody's got a hustle goin' on, and they got places to be. The guys tend to be pretty holier-than-thou about tech shit, and the girls...."
"Pretty?"
"I mean, a lot of the ones I met were kind of awful. But pretty, yeah. Lotta knockouts over there, but I got tired of seein' preppy chicks in bohemian hoe clothes. Yoga pants and scarves."
"Wow. I wish I had the confidence to go strutting around in yoga pants."
"You know, you could exercise with me and Dinky sometime. You don't gotta do the jumpin' jacks, obviously, but I wouldn't mind walking you through some poses. Not because I wanna look at your butt in yoga pants!"
"..."
"Okay, it's exactly 'cause I wanna look at your butt in yoga pants."
"That's really sweet of you to say. You know...most guys see a woman with a kid and they run in the other direction. Too much hassle." Buck leaned over, but Ditzy turned her head away.
"Well, I ain't most guys." 
"Mm." Ditzy hummed an affirmative, but Buck saw her shoulders tense up.
"...Most guys'd miss out on your crafts, or your sense of humor, or your cooking, or all the little things you do that make the world a brighter place. Most guys'd miss watching Dinky grow into a wacky, brilliant kid. Most guys don't know what they're missin'. You're never too much hassle for me, Ditzy."
"Do you really mean that, Buck? Even though I freaked out a little earlier?" He saw her trembling once again. Buck placed his hand on the small of Ditzy's back.
"You want me to say it again? 'You're never too much ha-" Ditzy turned and kissed Buck. She grabbed his collar and held him in place. It was sweet and gentle, but it sent a shock through Buck and rooted him to the spot. 
When Ditzy pulled away, her yellow, off-center eyes were glistening. She smiled, and the last of Buck's reservations about the night fell away.
The sweet opening strings of 'Moonshine' by Caravan Palace plunked across the dance floor. The lights dimmed down.
"Can we dance, now?" Ditzy said.
"Absolutely." Buck took Ditzy's hand, and they ran out to the middle of the floor.

Buck couldn't remember the last time he danced in a place like this. A dazzle of lights flashed overhead to the beat of the bass, and all around him were people two-stepping and spinning and laughing. There was no gossip here; there wasn't enough breath for it. 
Surrounded by the heat and the music, he forgot the very idea of worrying about tonight.
Jazz dance was special to Buck. It was something he never had to practice because down in New Horseleans; it was a rite of passage. It was silly and frenetic and reverent. Buck remembered.
As he watched Ditzy grin and hike her skirt up, Buck remembered that jazz was sensual as well. A spin, a kick, a twirl of the hand, and suddenly the two were prancing together, smiling and laughing and daring each other to get wilder.
At first they threw the beat back and forth, but the look in Ditzy's eyes was magnetic, if off-center, and soon they got closer and closer until they were closing and separating, dipping and spinning with wild abandon. 
Buck saw Ditzy look around nervously at the crowd, slowing down, worrying, so he spun around her and slapped her on the ass. 
For a split second, Buck thought he'd screwed the pooch, but Ditzy's jaw only stayed dropped for a second. A familiar thirsty look came into her eyes, and she beckoned Buck closer. 
By now, their first song had ended, and a grinding, carnal sax solo opened the next. Ditzy wasted no time. She spun into Buck's arms and let him throw her around the dance floor.
Buck could feel his heat rising, his pants taking on an embarrassing tightness, but the world ended past the lights on the dance floor. Nothing mattered besides Ditzy; her bouncing breasts, her swaying hips, her tapping feet, and her tiny, fluttering breaths as Buck dipped her. 
He couldn't tell how long they had been dancing. He was hot and slick all over, and he could see it in Ditzy. She had never looked at him like this before, but as he barely kept up with her steps, stealing a quick peck here, a little touch there, he understood why Ditzy had wanted to go dancing. She was incredible.
Suddenly, as Buck swung Ditzy around, her sweat-soaked hand slipped free. 
She stumbled, tottering and flailing her arms, trying to catch her balance. 
In the space of a moment, Buck saw the excitement in her eyes give way to panic. 
Buck dashed forward, caught her waist, and with the momentum of the fall, he swung her into a deep, low dip.
The song ended, and there they were, staring and panting at each other. 
Ditzy looked around. There was a clearing on the dance floor that just the two of them filled. The club had been watching them. Ditzy's leg was up at Buck's waist, and her chest was heaving. 
A clap in the crowd turned into a smattering of applause, and then a low roar filled with wolf whistles and cheers. 
Ditzy smiled up at Buck and bit her lip.
"Well...I think it's fair to say you showed me your moves, Muffin." Buck laughed. 
Ditzy kissed him; deep, hot, and thirsty. Even as Buck pulled up and the crowd went wild, Ditzy threw her arms around his neck and moaned against his lips.
Maybe it was the alcohol, or the mood, or the music. 
It didn't matter. 
Ditzy had her man, and there was no space for ambiguity between their lips. 
When they finally separated, there was only one thing left for Buck to say.
"...you wanna get outta here?"





As Buck and Ditzy Doo tapped and laughed and spun around each other, the changelings charged at Starlight and Adagio as one. 
Starlight fired a barrage of arcane bolts down the alley, but malformed bodies intercepted them before they could strike the cloaked figure.
"What are you doing here!?" Starlight shouted. She leaned on her javelin for a moment, sucking in air, then pierced an unlucky changeling mid-leap. A pair of fangs came for her throat, but a dart of ice spiked the changeling to the ground before it could connect. 
"Saving your life, apparently. Are you so sleep deprived that you didn't notice you were being hunted?" Adagio said it as if they were on a casual stroll.  Just above her open palm, the misting rain collected into a handful of frozen projectiles. 
"You were following me!?" Starlight said. Down the alley, the cloaked figure had their sleeves together, poised to make a move, but didn't stir from the spot. Another two changelings swiped at Adagio, but Starlight caught both with a few well-placed jabs. Adagio swayed a bit on her feet, a hand on her stomach.
"Not at first...I have my own business to see to!" All around them, more changelings were waiting for a chance to pounce. Adagio's water whip lashed at the ground and walls wherever a changeling drew near. The three she had drained were quickly replaced with more to block the alley.
"I notice that you're a little unsteady. Have...you been day drinking?" Starlight said. Every changeling that avoided Adagio came after Starlight with a single-minded pursuit. She was hurling arcane bolts and stabbing at throats and stomachs, hoping desperately that Adagio would keep protecting her flank as the changelings charged.
"No! It's just that the mana from these gibbering abortions is disgusting and sickly!" Adagio said. Her back touched Starlight's just slightly, but Starlight heard Adagio hiss as if she was struck. "I notice that you aren't even trying to escape!"
Starlight stabbed and blasted, every step costing her another burst of energy as the changelings swarmed around her and Adagio. A changeling came for her leg and was stabbed until it stopped moving. 
The cloaked figure tilted her head.
"I'm going to catch her." Starlight whispered between heavy breaths. She stumbled against the alley wall, but Adagio dragged her back to her feet by the sleeve.
"Was your reconnaissance not enough? You should flee while you still have your life." Adagio said.
"Why!? They can't keep coming!"
"And you can't keep fighting, sweethearts!" Laughed the cloaked figure.
"Finally, a voice of reason!" Adagio focused her flying ice darts upward, shredding a changeling mid-fall and causing the others to think twice. 
"Why do you even care, Adagio? Why don't you get out of here!?"
"Well, I would love to, but if I let slip that you died on my watch, Buck and especially Sunburst would never forgive me!" 
"You're saving me for clout!?" Adagio tasted a blazing fury.
"You're very welcome!" Adagio stumbled away from a set of snapping jaws, but another closed the distance and managed to scratch a tear in her sleeve before darts of ice perforated it. 
"What are you dummies doing!? Attack them from all sides!" The cloaked figure snarled.
A slimy, chitinous blur surged toward the duo from every angle, and at that moment, the both of them were struck by the same inspiration. They backed up to each other, and their hands glowed in unison. Starlight's around a shrike's beak, and Adagio's around nothing. The water running down the alley gutter rose into a slender blade of ice just as Starlight's impromptu spear began to glow with cyan light, and then both projectiles darted around the pair, slashing and spearing everything that came close. 
"I must admit, I'm impressed, Starlight Glimmer! It seems that even small minds can think like great ones from time to time."
"We're nothing alike." Starlight growled. While her fingers twitched like a puppeteer's, Adagio's hand waved and rolled like a conductor. Slime, screams and limbs scattered across the alleyway. Adagio counted twelve changelings felled.
"You must not be paying attention. I too was once a cocksure young warlock with no individual power, trying desperately to prove my worth to an uncaring world."
"Spare me your sob story!" Starlight shouted. Adagio smirked. She could taste the disdain rolling off Starlight Glimmer, and the misplaced pride that it came from.   
"I'm feeling nostalgic, so I'll give you an opening. Jump when I say so, then run." Adagio said.
"What!?"
"Jump!" Adagio shouted, then dropped to the floor. A a pulsing ripple of ice coursed out from her fingertips and instantly covered everything with a sheen of rime. The troop of changelings was immobilized. 
Adagio's hair turned pale, greys shooting through the orange curls. 
"Ah. Simplicity itself." Adagio said. 
"Show off." Starlight rolled her eyes. 
"Look out!" Adagio pushed Starlight aside.
Suddenly, there was a whistling boom. Adagio howled in pain and stumbled forward, clutching for the spot on her back that was erupting with ice crystals. 
The cruel smile beneath the dark cloak floated above Starlight's head, smiling down for just an instant before she lashed out again. Starlight blocked a shot, then shrieked as her assailant clutched at her bad leg in a grip that felt like dry ice against her skin. An unbearable chill tore through her veins, making her fall to a knee.
"Aww, it looked like you were favoring that leg, so I figured you must have an old injury there!" A swift kick sent Starlight's head rebounding off the wall. "Same with that back of yours, Adagio Dazzle! What's the matter? Did the dragon hit you a bit too hard?" 
Starlight's vision swam as she tried to rise. She spat blood out of her mouth and tried to summon her javelin, but it just quivered in a puddle of rain and slime. She couldn't let this happen. She yelped as a fistful of her hair was yanked upward.
"Now, if you're finished struggling, I'll be taking you back to our base."
Starlight thrashed and kicked, but the grip on her hair was like cold iron. She couldn't let it end like this. She had to fight, but her arms were exhausted and she was so beyond tired.
"You should be honored. Humans with magical potential are typically very rare, but a vessel empty of magic is even rarer. You'll be an excellent gift for my master!" The figure said, with barely restrained glee. 
Starlight heard a squishy thump. Then another, and another, and the cloaked figure pitched backward. Three javelins of ice had pierced her chest.
Down the alley, Adagio rose to her feet. She flashed a sadistic smile which was only matched as the cloaked figure straightened up. Her head turned with a sickening crack to look at Adagio.
"For a so-called scourge of Equestria. You aren't that smart. If impaling me didn't work yesterday, why would it work today?" 
A bolt of cyan energy smacked into her face, blasting her hood back. A quartz crystal crumbled in Starlight's hand as her assailant was revealed.
She would have been beautiful, but some of the details of her face were just the slightest bit off. Her blue eyes were faded and pale, and her smile was just a tad too wide for her face. Her blue skin was sallow, while her dark blue and white hair seemed limp and dull. 
"...haven't I seen you around town?" Starlight said. The woman's neck cracked as she glared down at Starlight. Her smile slowly dropped.  
A light flashed in the alleyway. Adagio had taken a snapshot of the woman. 
"...Well, nuts to this." The woman pointed a finger at Adagio and a beam of frigid black energy struck the siren in the chest. Adagio dropped the phone and wheezed, clutching at her heart. Her hair began to whiten, and her limbs shriveled up, shining with frost. 
"What have you done!?" Starlight said, struggling to rise to her feet. She looked down and saw her bad leg wither and blacken where she had been grabbed.
"Oh, this power? A gift from my master, along with new life." The woman winced and clutched her arm. Tiny ice crystals protruded from her hand, right through the skin. "It's time for me to fly. I don't suggest you follow me." The woman said. A freezing wind swirled beneath her feet, lifting her swiftly into the night sky.
The alleyway was silent, save for the sound of Adagio gasping. 
Starlight tried to shut her eyes to avoid showing weakness in front of Adagio, but it was no use. 
Hot tears were already rolling down her face. She tried to move her leg, but an agonizing numbness made her gasp in pain. Starlight curled up and sobbed, refusing to believe she was here again. 
Weak, hobbled, and in over her head.
"...will you stop that!? I'm...trying...to focus!" Adagio wheezed. She sang a shaky song, the same one she entered the alley with, and thin streams of green energy slithered from the frozen changelings all around and into her mouth. 
Starlight gave Adagio a hateful glare, trying to stop her teeth from chattering. The color returned to Adagio's hair, but her muscles remained frostbitten and shriveled.
"I see that this is a teachable moment. Come here." 
"Why should I!?" Starlight spat. 
"Because I can't move my legs. Come here, so I can help." Adagio said it with all the patience of a middle school math teacher.
Starlight scowled, but she hobbled over to Adagio with painful difficulty.
"When you spied on my sisters and I, do you know what you did wrong?" Adagio said. 
"I got caught."
"No. You got caught alone, without any way to deal with your opponent. You should have observed us from a distance, and taken whatever information you gleaned back to your superiors." Adagio said it without a hint of malice or mockery. 
"Did you call me over just to lecture me!? What's your point?"
"You over-extended yourself, and you suffered for it."
"I suffered because of your cruelty!"
"Cruelty? Aria would have torn your limbs off, one by one. Sonata would have had a casual conversation with her through the process."
"You terrorized me!"
"So that we could drink your fear. And then I let you go. You are alive because of my mercy."
"MERCY!?"
"And you apparently learned nothing, because you repeated the same mistake tonight." Adagio could taste the bitter fury rising in Starlight. In any other time, she wouldn't have bothered to educate the arrogant little upstart, but the pain in her back and limbs left her little choice. That, and she took a spiteful, queer pleasure at prodding a creature so similar to her younger self.
"Now, do you know any healing spells? I have very little talent at them; that's why my back isn't fully healed." Adagio said. Starlight glared at her for a moment.
"...I've memorized a basic healing spell, yes. Not that it matters since I don't have any components." Starlight said. Adagio rolled her eyes.
"If you get healed, will you go after that frigid bitch?"
"Oh, absolutely." Starlight growled. 
"Fine, then. Take some of this disgusting changeling magic."
"What?"
"Don't be coy! I saw the footage of your fight with the queen. You have a drain magic spell, so use it." Adagio smirked.
Starlight Glimmer scowled. She punched the concrete beneath her, then wiped at her tears. Her frustration tasted like scalding hot tea. It was a flavor that Adagio knew well from her academy days.
With indignity in her eyes, she pulled a bit of jade from her pocket and held it out. The acrid green energy flowed into Starlight, and the barest hint of a smile touched the corner of her mouth.
"Greedy thing! That was more than half of what I took!" Adagio said. 
Starlight muttered an incantation, and the feeling returned to both their frostbitten forms. 
"Now, we're even." Starlight said, standing up.
"Are we really?"
"No." A snap of Starlight's fingers summoned her spear to her side. She mounted and floated into the air.
"Oh, no, don't wait for me, I'll catch up!" Adagio called, giving a lazy wave.

Adagio straightened her hoodie out, sighed, and strolled past the melting forms of the changelings. She sniffed the air, turned a corner, then another, and found the street again. 
Just down the way was a building with a neon sign that said "Rainbow Factory." Emerging from the alley next to it was Buck, with a giggling Ditzy Doo on his arm. 
Adagio sighed, then held her breath as the two walked down the sidewalk. 
Several paces behind Buck and Ditzy was a man who looked entirely inconspicuous to the uninitiated.
As that man stepped past an alley, a tendril of water snatched his ankle and dragged him into the darkness. There was a gasp, then a threatening hiss, and finally a squishing crack. 
"Helpless. He's helpless without me." Adagio sighed. 





Hungry. 
By now, Starlight and Sunburst's combined understanding of equestrian magic was formidable, to say the least. They had each studied independently, and having pooled their knowledge together; they had a firmer grasp of the topic than most of the Pillars Organization. It was a fascinating field of study, equal parts art, science, and spiritualism, but with time and dedication, it could be understood and even mastered.
Hungry.
But magic was not native to Starlight's world. On earth, equestrian magic took on wild, unpredictable properties. It defied conventional study, so magic users on this side of the portal had a big pile of guesswork between them and efficacy.
Hungry!
Sunburst had labored for years now, trying to compose a theory that would give them a broader view. A different way to understand magic. Something concrete that could provide direction to practice. Starlight knew the dangers of meddling with untested sources of magic. Magic was tied to emotions, wants, needs, and expressions. Everyone had these feelings, and so, in theory, anyone could find magic within them.
Anyone but Starlight Glimmer.

She had been following the trail of her tracking talisman. She was surging with the changeling magic she had taken from Adagio. It made her feel hollow and famished. It made her feel powerful. Was this what it was like whenever Adagio drained someone? 
The misty night was streaking past her. She felt energy crackling at her fingertips. 
So much power. Not much. Enough. More. She needed more. No. She wanted more. She had enough to capture that monster that had embarrassed her. Adagio. No. Focus! The blue woman. She had been stabbed and pierced. She had some sort of ice powers. She was strong. Why was she strong? Someone had given her strength. Who? Starlight needed to know. She needed to know to assess the threat.
The cyan beam banked upward sharply. Did she know she was being followed? Didn't matter. Starlight had power now.
She had spent so long practicing incantations, figuring out formulas, memorizing spells that she could never use. But now, she had power.
Starlight followed the beam up to the clouds. It was cold, but she couldn't feel it past the tingling current of energy coursing through her. Her leg didn't even hurt anymore, and that meant she could run again. She could fly.
The clouds were coming closer. The blue woman was somewhere among them. 
Starlight's smile faded. Glee was replaced with determination as she mumbled an incantation. She knew how to direct power and wield it with precision. She wouldn't let it take her over. Too much was at stake.
At long last, Starlight Glimmer could make a difference. 

Her name was Minuette. For the longest time, her friends had called her Colgate. She couldn't remember their names anymore. She couldn't remember much of anything from her old life. 
Her new life was the mission. Her body was the mission. Minuette was the mission. 
She couldn't feel anything, and yet she was cold. She was being pursued. Likely by the siren. 
Minuette had prepared for concussive shrieks, water magic, illusions. She had a plan for any of the siren's tricks and faith that her master's power would carry her through any altercation. The siren would come, and Minuette would defeat her. Perhaps capture her. She could be a powerful weapon in the right hands—another tool for the master. 
The sea of clouds beneath her split open. Minuette cut through the air just in time to avoid a beam of greenish light. She dodged another lance of energy and then another, looking around, searching for the source.
"I'm going to give you one chance to give up. I'm not a monster; if you surrender, you will be treated fairly. Nicely, even." Said Starlight Glimmer's voice from nowhere.
"Where are you?" Minuette muttered. 
"But you will tell me who you are and answer my questions. It's going to be a short night for me, or a very long night for you. You pick." Starlight said. 
Minuette spun and fired a beam of frigid energy in the direction of the voice. 
"I know all about you, Starlight Glimmer! Your lame little parlor tricks are nothing! To my master's power, yours is just a drop in the ocean!" Minuette said.
"Well, you know what they say..." 
A ball of crackling green energy parted the clouds, and there stood Starlight Glimmer atop her concrete spear. She had a scowl on her face, which curled into a smirk as a pair of equine ears formed on her head. Her hair lengthened ever so slightly, and a green aura enveloped her body.
"When it rains, it pours." 
Starlight casually flicked her wrist, and a shield of energy deflected a beam of cold. Minuette lunged at Starlight, hand outstretched, catching nothing but air. Starlight flipped through the mist, just out of Minuette's flailing reach.
There was a flash, and Minuette was tumbling through the clouds, with Starlight right behind. Minuette muttered something, then rolled and skidded across the cloud top like it was solid ground, her legs sinking and kicking to keep her aloft. Her hand dipped into the icy vapor and came up with a wave of thick hailstones, but the smug warlock disappeared in a spark of light before they could connect. 
"I've figured you out. You don't take damage from most physical attacks. You can shoot beams of ice at range, or use it as a touch attack But I don't need to touch you to defeat you!" Starlight said. A ball of green mana formed in her hand and was hurled like a dodge ball at a smiling Minuette. 
The ball of energy stopped just before her outstretched hand.
"You forgot one other trick of mine!" Minuette said, about to throw it right back.
"Did I?" Starlight laughed. The ball of green energy blasted into Minuette's face like buckshot, tendrils of force entangling her like a spider's web. 
Minuette fell to the clouds beneath her with a thump, struggling and writhing.
"Did you know that the cloud walking spell doesn't make you less dense, it just increases the density of vapors directly adjacent to you?" Starlight said.
"MMPHH!" 
"Which means I can do..." Starlight slammed Minuette's head down. It rebounded as if the clouds were concrete. "This to you!" Minuette lay still. 
"Well, that was easier than expected," Starlight said. Her ears flickered as a thread of arcane force tethered her hand to the threads binding Minuette. She began to pull her assailant away, but the bindings ballooned outward and burst in a gust of freezing wind that knocked Starlight back. She righted herself in the air, but then a shock of freezing force struck the side of her head. Canterlot spun all around her as Minuette savaged her with blows. 
Minuette was shrieking, pulling on the tether, beating Starlight about the face, but the blackened spots where she struck glowed green and turned pale purple again, then her fist struck Starlight's forearm, and then a shield of arcane force.
"Is that the best you can do?" Starlight said. Minuette screamed, and the clouds formed a funnel filled with jagged hailstones. 
"Ugh. To hell with taking you unharmed! Just barely alive will have to do." Minuette laughed as the tunnel of frozen death came down to tear Starlight apart. The swirling fury swallowed Starlight entirely, but there were no screams of pain, just a sound like a rock tumbler spinning up.
Minuette peered through the vortex, and suddenly a flash of green light exploded outward, hurling hailstones in every direction.  Starlight floated just above Minuette, still holding the rope of arcane energy, unmoved by the show of force.
"That's funny. I was just thinking the same thing about you." Starlight said.
Minuette thought she couldn't feel anymore.
All at once, she remembered the simple fear of facing things far greater than you. 
Minuette slapped the tether out of existence, turned, and dove beneath the clouds, and then she was charging through the night above Canterlot, zig-zagging frantically, diving between buildings and under bridges, but every time she looked back, Starlight's stoic glare was right behind her. 
She was gaining. 
Fear had become alien after her master's intervention, but now it squeezed her heart and widened her eyes. It was a feeling she would do anything to banish.
Minuette's strategy began and ended at overpowering her opponent, and now knowing that Starlight's tricks were superior to her own, she had to find some means of escape. She could not get captured at any cost, or the mission would be ruined.
It was time to play dirty.



 

Adagio had returned to the alley. With a twirl of the finger, the ice around the unfinished changelings melted, and they all deflated into stinking puddles of slime. By the end of the night, the rain would wash away any evidence of a scuffle.
"I wonder if that's a defense mechanism? Do they all melt upon death, so they leave little trace?" As Adagio recalled, it was fruitless to capture a changeling scout because they would simply kill themselves in captivity. "Well, they may be of use to me yet." Adagio stuck a finger in the hideous muck, and after steeling her will, she took a deep, long sniff.
Her revulsion was interrupted by a light in the sky. It seemed that Starlight Glimmer was handling the situation. Her opponent was in the process of fleeing like a coward, which would have brought a smile to Adagio's face if she didn't recognize where she was going. 
Adagio ran out to the street, and hailed a taxi.
"I'll pay triple if you break the speed limit." Adagio said. The taxi rocketed down the street.
After a few seconds, Ditzy Doo's car pulled out of a nearby parking lot and drove lazily in the opposite direction.





"Get back here! I'm not done with you yet!" Starlight shouted across the night. She had overpowered her opponent so thoroughly that she seemed to be in full retreat, ducking around buildings and flying in abstract patterns to get away.
Starlight could feel the changeling magic waning; the aura of power around her form was begining to waver and flicker.
She knew a few spells for capture; it was her specialty after all, but none of them would avail her in the moment.
"She can break through tethers...the arcane trap needs setup, and crystallization would take too much energy. I've just got to catch her close!" 
She had just decided on a plan of attack when she saw what her assailant was doing. They had gone on a wild goose chase around the city, and at first, Starlight thought that this was meant to tire her out, but as the skyline rushed beneath her, she realized where they were.
Tenpony Towers was just a few blocks ahead, and the ice witch was floating straight up the glass face of the building. Adrenaline rushed into Starlight's brain as she realized there was only one place she could be going.





On the wall next to Sunburst's desk, the castrated cuckoo clock had just rung 9pm.
"Uncle Sunburst? Will you read me a bedtime story?" Dinky Doo yawned as Sunburst helped her up from her little book nest. He'd decided to tuck the tyke in and crash on the couch after bringing Scoots back to her dorm.
"Sure, Dinky. What kinds of stories do you like? Let me guess; ones with spooky monsters?" Sunburst said.
"Yeah yeah yeah!" 
"Is there anything left to drink?" Scoots said from inside the fridge.
"You'll have to wait until we go for groceries if you want to keep cleaning out my soda stash!" Sunburst barked. 
The doorbell rang.
"Who could...Scoots, would you mind seeing who that is while I put Dinky to bed?"
"Roger dodger!" Scoots chirped. She scratched her butt and ambled over to the front door. "Who is it?"
With a deafening boom, shards of glass blasted across the living room. The window had exploded, and as the high winds tossed every loose object in the space, a mist-soaked figure entered. 
It happened in the space of seconds. A bolt of freezing mana blasted the front door right after Scoots ducked away. A pair of sunken blue eyes looked around. A hand outstretched. 
The jar on top of Sunburst's desk shattered, and the still writhing tentacle flew into Minuettes' hand. 
The nightmarish limb whipped outward, smacking Dinky Doo into the wall with a sharp crack, then dragged a thrashing Sunburst out into the night. 

"This is an interesting development, isn't it, Starlight Glimmer!?" Minuette called, just as Starlight caught up. The defenders of Canterlot hung helplessly over the city streets; one caught in the biting grip for a cursed creature's arm, and the other halted mid-assault.
"Let him go!" 
"Is that what you really want?" The ghoulish woman dangled Sunburst further away from the windowsill. Her wide smile gleamed in the glow of the city lights.
"Let him go, or I'll rip you in half!" Starlight growled, her eyes flickering green. 
"Do you really think you can do that and also save his life? Your precious little boy toy? Yes, we know all about your sniveling little weakness, here. Listen up, Sugar Plum. I'll make it simple for you. If you let me leave, I won't use this cute little...appendage to tear your ball and chain's neck out, okay?" 
Starlight raised a hand to prepare a spell, but her aura of changeling magic flickered like an old TV.
"Oooh...looks like someone's burning the candle at both ends! How embarrassing would it be if I just...dropped him? And you couldn't catch him?" The biting tentacle coiled around his body muffled Sunbursts' screams. The woman's thin arm waved the tentacle around effortlessly.
"If he dies, I'll come for you, next!"
"Temper, temper, sweetie! What's it gonna be? Will you let me go? Or try your luck? Clock's ticking!" The smile grew in width and savagery. It looked like it would split the woman's head at any second. 
Starlight grimaced, her teeth grinding as she desperately searched her mind for a way out of this. She had enough juice for one more burst of magic, but she'd never catch Sunburst in time. The woman held her pose and smiled, still as a mannequin as Starlight agonized.
The answer came with a sound like a cleaver through fresh meat. 
The blue-skinned woman's arm was severed clean through by a thin disc of ice. It came back around and split her cranium from her lower jaw. There was no blood as Minuette fell from the air.
Adagio stood, hand out, in the threshold of Sunbursts' apartment. Starlight saw her smile.
Time slowed. 
Starlight dove for Sunburst as the tentacle uncoiled. He fell one story.
Two, three, four. 
Starlight winced against the rushing mist in her eyes. She blasted downwards in a flash of green, praying. 
There was the unmistakable crack of a body hitting concrete at terminal velocity.
Sunburst's scream halted abruptly. 
And then Starlight flew back up to the window, cradling Sunburst in her arms. 
He was still breathing. Better than that, he was shaken but unharmed.
"I told you I'd come back." Starlight smiled. Sunburst laughed, then fell as Starlight's arms and leg gave out.
Scootaloo was leaning against the door frame, hyperventilating, a bright blush on her cheeks. She looked a bit sallow.
Starlight rose and stomped in Adagio's direction, seething.
"What? I knew you would catch him, of course." Adagio smirked.
Starlight balked. Her hands flexed and clenched as if she would try to throttle Adagio at any moment. But before she could choose violence for the second time in one night, Sunburst stood between her and Adagio.
"Thanks, Adagio. Looks like I owe you one, this time. You helped Starlight tonight, didn't you?"
"Oh, I just happened to be out and about. I only happened to save her from a little kidnapping. But really, it was more of a collaborative effort, wasn't it, Starlight? I might even admit that you did most of the heavy lifting!" Adagio said. 
Starlight rolled her eyes. 
"I'm not that heavy, am I...?" Sunburst muttered.
"And well done, little birdie! If you hadn't answered the door, I might not have found the energy for that last spell." Adagio said, winking at Scooaloo. 
"That was...way more tongue than necessary." Scoots squeaked. 
"I take it you and your people can handle it from here, Sunburst?" Adagio said, stepping over to the window. 
"...yes. I'll make a call and get this window fixed, and I've got some healing charms for any injuries you might have taken."
"That won't be necessary for me, Sunburst. After all, my night was interrupted by this episode." Adagio said, looking out across the concrete jungle.
"...Oh. Well, then, I guess you should get going."
"Yes, I think that concludes our business." Adagio stepped to the edge of the windowsill. She whistled a gentle note, and the ice disc came flying back. It flipped onto its side, allowing Adagio to step onto it.
"You may want to wait."
"Hm?"
"You may want to wait to check on him. He's probably having a nice night, Adagio." Sunburst said. 
Adagio didn't turn around, but Sunburst could see the blush at her ears as she flew off into the night.

The living room was in shambles. The tentacle was missing. Scoots was flustered, and Starlight had a look of typical grumpiness on her face. It was almost a successful night, in Sunburst's opinion, but then Dinky Doo got up from where she was lying against the wall. 
There was a big, ugly bruise in the middle of her face. She looked to Sunburst, then to Scoots with wide eyes, reached up to touch her nose, and her fingers came away bloody.
"Whuh...waahhh...MAMAAAAA!" Dinky wailed. 
"Scoots, get the jewelry box from my desk! In the study, Scoots!" Sunburst said.
"Uh...Okay!" Scoots scrambled. 
"Starlight, get some tissues!" Sunburst said.
"...right." Starlight went for the kitchen, leaving Sunburst to kneel at Dinky's side. 
Dinky Doo kept sniffling snot and blood, coughing and wailing.
"It's okay, Dinky, it's okay. Auntie Starlight and Scoots are going to help." Sunburst soothed. 
Scoots ran back with an open velvet box filled with little trinkets.
"Is this it? It smells like eucalyptus soap!"
"That's the one. Now, Dinky?"
"Uhh...uhhhuhh?" Dinky whimpered.
"This is going to sting just a little bit, but then it's going to feel all better, okay? Can you be brave like a yak and close your eyes?" Sunburst said. Tears were rolling down the child's face, but the moment Sunburst mentioned yaks, her expression tightened into a trembling sort of determination. She nodded.
"Okay. Now hold still.." Sunburst said. He pulled a pebble of amethyst and a few loose leaves that Scoots didn't recognize from the box and muttered something into them. In a little spark of yellow light, the components dissolved into dust, which Sunburst blew from his hand. A twinkle of stardust glittered across Dinky's face, and when it passed, the bruise was entirely healed. 
Despite the blood on her face, Dinky Doo was fine. She touched her face, and her eyes widened as she felt no pain. 
"There...all better, right?" Sunburst said. Dinky smiled and nodded at him.
"Oops! Now hold still..." Sunburst said. Starlight turned Dinky around and wiped the yuck from her face.
"Thank you, Uncle Sunburst!" Dinky Doo said.
"Oh, you should thank Starlight, here! After all, she protected us and the whole city tonight!" Sunburst smiled. 
Dinky's wide yellow eyes looked up at Starlight like she was nothing short of a superhero.
"Thank you, Starlight," Dinky said in a nervous, wandering voice. Starlight gave Sunburst a bewildered look that bordered on irritation. Sunburst gestured at Dinky, who was still staring up at her in awe.
"Uh...no problem." Starlight said, patting the child's head. Dinky rushed forward and hugged Starlight Glimmer with her stubby arms.
"I wanna be like you when I get big. Strong and...and...magic!" Dinky mumbled. Sunburst and Scoots shared the same smile. Starlight kneeled, stiff as a board, while Dinky embraced her. It was almost like panic, the look in her eyes, but panic is rattling and twitchy. This look was the one a person got when they received bad news they had come to expect. 
Starlight slowly wrapped her arms around Dinky Doo. 
Then she reached into her pocket and pressed a replica memory stone to the child's head.
There was a flash, and when Dinky Doo let go of Starlight, she blinked her eyes as if she was seeing a dream. A yawn shook Dinky's whole body, and she passed out on the spot.
"What'd you do!?" Scoots said. She looked from Sunbursts' quiet anger to Starlight's tired sullenness.
"It's protocol."
"Starlight, she didn't even see anything!"
"You used magic to heal her!"
"But I never said it was magic! For all she knows, it could be first aid! She was thanking you!"
"I don't need thanks. I do what I have to."
"Starlight..."
"Now I'm going to go to the ground floor and see about the body. You call Sweetie Drops and arrange for a fix-it spell for the window and door."
"Starlight, why did you-"
"The job isn't over until we clean up. I did what I had to, Sunburst." Starlight turned for the doorway, but her voice trembled.
She left without another word. A wet summer breeze whistled into the suite.
"Scoots? Can you put Dinky to bed?"
"Yeah."





Buck and Ditzy giggled their way up the apartment stairs.
"Easy, easy...man I really shouldn't've let you drive like this..." Buck said.
"No, no, I'm good!" Ditzy laughed.
"Whatever you say, Muffin." Buck maneuvered around Ditzy to get at his keys. She was nuzzling against his chest and squeezing him like a plush doll. "Here we go...now, how about we get you some water?"
Ditzy let go of Buck and flopped onto the couch.
"Is that a yes?" Buck said. Ditzy gave a thumbs up.
"I like this couch, Buck! Where'd you get it?"
"Uh, it was your couch, Ditzy. Remember, Sunburst was throwing his couch out?"
"And you sent me a picture and asked if I wanted it!"
"Yeah, but you already had a couch, so we threw mine out and I put yours in here."
"And you and Sunburst got a truck and brought his over here."
"We moved four whole couches that day. I think my back still remembers." Buck laughed. He sat on the couch, placing the water cups on the coffee table. Ditzy inchwormed over and laid her head in his lap. 
"It was sweet of you to think of me, Buck." Ditzy mumbled. 
"Well, I figured that Sunbursts' couch was tall enough for Dinky to make a pillow fort, and soft enough for you to just flop after a hard day of work. It'd be wrong for me to take it away from you, so I asked you first. You deserve nice things. Like a wild night out!"
"I cried in your chest."
"Yeah, but the night wasn't boring, now was it?"
Ditzy's smile dropped slowly. She sat up and took a drink of water.
"Buck, do you think I'm boring?" Her cheer was lost.
"What? 'Course not!"
"Compared to other girls you've been with?"
"No one compares to you, Muffin." Buck adroitly dodged the loaded question.
"Big ol' smoothie...I just...I wouldn't blame you if you did. I guess this and hanging out at the fair is just...me trying to show you that I'm not just a dull girl who sits around watching trash tv all day, no life outside of work and being a Mom. You know? I used to be really, I dunno, intrepid! I used to jump at any chance to try something new! I used to be Ditzy Doo, with an exclamation point! Now...I'm just Mama." Ditzy said.
"Aw, Ditzy, I don't see you like that! I..." Buck paused. A whole monologue about the things he loved in Ditzy unrolled in his mind. He imagined his girlfriend blushing so brightly that she melted into a puddle on her seat. "You're one of the most vibrant, wonderful people I know. You do what you got to because you love your daughter, and you always manage to smile, even when times get hard."
"Really?"
"Tougher than me by a country mile. And fun to be around." Buck chuckled. "Whole reason I went out tonight is 'cause I want to hang around you."
"You think I'm fun?"
"Well sure! But it goes deeper'n that."
"Yeah?" Ditzy laid her head against Buck's shoulder.
"When I'm with you, I get this idea in my head that I'm enough. That even though I make so many mistakes, you're able to care about me just the way I am. Like when you look at me, what do you see, Ditzy?"
"I see the sweetest man in the world, who gives everybody a chance except himself."
"And whenever I think I might just be enough for you, another voice in my head says that you deserve better, and it kills me. I want to be better because you deserve a man that can provide for you and take the weight off your shoulders, not a guy that falls to fucking pieces in your arms, or constantly lusts after you like a horny teenager, even though you ain't into that. I'm so scared that you're going to look at me one day and see a waste of potential, just like everybody else. Because you're incredible, Ditzy Doo, and you deserve someone incredible too."
Ditzy's eyes fluttered open. 
"Is that why you keep running away when we're flirting?"
"You...do this little thing when I'm making you uncomfortable. Like a tic. You fold your hands in your lap, and that's how I know that I'm bothering you, so I ease off. You do it when I flirt too hard, so I try to-"
"This? You mean this?" Ditzy mimicked the pose. Buck had seen it a thousand times. Buck nodded.
"Oh...that's not...okay, Buck, hear me out. I started doing that because when people get stressed, they often need to see that the person helping them isn't aggressive. So social workers keep their hands down when they handle people having an episode. I learned it while I was volunteering--that's another story--but I started doing it around you when you got nervous to help you relax. I thought you understood that. I'm trying to give you open body language to know you're safe, not push you away!"
"So you were trying to tell me to keep going?"
"Mhm."
"I'm a fucking moron."
"Don't say that! It was just a misunderstanding! Buck, do you remember when you came back home the night after speed dating? You broke a glass?"
"Yeah, that was after Adagio, well, nevermind. Yeah, I remember you helping me calm down because I was freaking my dumb ass out again."
"Stop that. You're not dumb. You were stressed out. But, before I went to work that day, when I put your head in my lap, do you remember what I said to you?"
"...you're safe with me."
"Did you think I was lying?"
"No! There's nobody in the world I trust more'n you, Ditzy!"
"Well then, maybe we should have trusted each other enough to talk through this. Just because we're dating now, that doesn't mean we stop talking to each other about feelings. If anything, we should do it more!"
"You're right."
"And I appreciate you caring for my boundaries and not wanting to make me uncomfortable, but you know by now that--"
"This ain't a nunnery, and you aren't against me touching on you and bein' horny."
"I want you to want me, Buck. I love that you want me! We've both been pretty silly about this, but it's okay. No matter what's bothering you, whatever it is; I'll be there for you."
Ditzy heard a little hitch in Buck's breath. She turned and saw tears.
"It's okay to tell me how you feel, Buck." Their foreheads touched. It was like a little code between them. There were no barriers here.
"I love you so much, Ditzy Doo. I love you so much..."
"There's my Buck." Ditzy smiled. The kiss they shared was beyond tender at first, but it warmed into an intense, thirsty moment. Ditzy put a hand on Buck's chest and pushed, and he backed up.
"Can we try again? Can we pretend we just walked in and try this again?"
"Sure, Muffin." Buck sniffled.





When Starlight Glimmer made it to the ground floor, eyes red, she had to muscle her way through a small crowd of people at the entrance to TenPony Towers.
The police had come and put up tape around a very strange smear on the ground. It was dark and human-shaped, but tiny ice crystals jutted out of the bit of pavement that it covered. 
There was no corpse to be found.
Starlight tried her tracking talisman. It was still active, pointing East toward the Everfree Mountain Range.





The door to Buck's apartment opened, and two sets of shuffling feet came through it. 
"I wanna thank you for going out with me tonight, Buck. I had a great time!" Ditzy Doo caught Buck around the neck and gave him a little eskimo kiss.
"Yeah, well, you're about the best damn dancer I've ever swung around a club, so the pleasure's all mine," Buck said.
"It's been a nice night...but it doesn't have to end right now."
"That so?"
"Well, I got a little problem."
"Embarrasin', huh? What, you need me to screw in another lightbulb?" 
"Somethin' like that. Could I...maybe show it to you in your bedroom?"
"Sure, Muffin. Whatever it is, I'm happy to help." Ditzy took Buck's hand and pulled him through the door of his bedroom. The lamp clicked on. Music was coming from Buck's phone, but it was muffled as the door closed. 
Ditzy let go of Buck and sat on the edge of his bed, beckoning him to sit next to her. Her hands were in her lap. Her off-center eyes seemed to search the floor as she took a deep breath.
"You're always helping me, Buck. With Dinky, and projects and broken things."
"Ah, well, I try to be handy," Buck said.
"You are! But...I really need you right now. So please..." Ditzy scooted backward, raised the hem of her dress, and opened her legs. No panties. She was absolutely soaked. 
"Oh..."
"Could you help me with this?" 
"Come here..." Buck growled. He reached down, but Ditzy grabbed his wrist.
"I, uh...wait. Um, you said you wanted to treat me like a proper lady." She said. She wouldn't meet his eye.
"Yeah? That I did, Muffin." Buck smiled. 
"If I was a proper lady, how would you treat me, right now?" 
"...I'd start here." 
Ditzy froze as Buck's lips met hers. It was brief and sweet and teasing; Buck kissing her lips, then the corner of her mouth, then along her jaw. She had imagined that Buck would be forceful and greedy, but now she realized that's just what she expected from men in general. Buck was different. The touch of his lips along her neck was as delicate as the wings of a butterfly. His strong hands, which had supported her and caught her were nothing but feathery fingertips that wandered up the curve of her back until they found her zipper. 
"It's...been a while. I um...I don't really know where to put my hands." Ditzy mumbled. The zipper came open slowly, and Buck scratched at her back. She hadn't even known she was itchy back there, but the dragging of Buck's nails was a world of relief.
"Do you usually lay back and just...?" Buck said. The heat of his breath against her neck made her shiver.
"Mhm. Is that bad?"
"You want me to take you, Muffin? You want your big, strong Buck to hold you down and take you?" Buck growled. A shiver of terror jolted Ditzy.
"Um...could you be gentle with me? Please?" Ditzy squeaked.
"I can do that." Buck said. 
Buck shifted around to Ditzy's back and guided her to lean against him as he sat at the wall behind the bed. 
"Comfy?"
"You're warm, Buck..." Ditzy sighed.
"Too warm?" Buck said.
"Just right." Ditzy giggled. Buck peeled Ditzy's dress off her shoulders and slid it down to reveal Ditzy's cutest bra. Bras in her size rarely ever came cute and affordable at the same time, so it was a beige, wide-strapped thing that often itched in the back.
"Now, let's see...ah. Lucky me. It's an easy one." Buck pinched the back of the bra. Ditzy's arm flew up to stop it from falling off entirely, seemingly on instinct.
"Are you hiding your girls from me?" Buck laughed.
"Mm...maybe they're a little shy? They've been waiting to meet you, Buck."
"Is that right?"
"Do you wanna meet my girls, Buck?" Ditzy giggled, shaking her shoulders just a bit. Her breasts bounced just the slightest bit, a nipple nearly peeking out.
"You know I do, Muffin..." Ditzy bit her lip under Buck's hungry gaze.
She slid her arm up slowly and let her naked breasts fall free. They were round and springy, sagging into Buck's waiting hands.
"Well, hellooo ladies...unf, these are heavy..." Buck said. A gentle squeeze pulled a gasp out of Ditzy.
"They're 36 I~." 
"I have no clue what that means." Buck chuckled. "Lookit these tiny nipples...! They're so cuuute!" Buck's voice rose to a decidedly feminine pitch as he ran his fingers over Ditzy's nickel-sized nipples. They were flat and almost flush to the skin, but Ditzy squeaked and shuddered all the same when Buck pressed down on them.
"Ehhah!"
"Oh?" Buck kissed along Ditzy's shoulder and neck, gently squeezing her breasts in deliberate circular motions.
"Eeeee...!" It was almost like a ewe's bleat. Ditzy reached down to steady herself on Buck's thigh. Her knees turned inward.
"Tell me about it..." Buck chuckled. He closed his fingers and ran his hands up Ditzy's breasts, letting them fall out from under them, then he rubbed slow sensuous circles around her areolas with just the tips of his fingers. 
"Ah! Eeehaah...!" Breathy squeals escaped from behind Ditzy's hand. 
"Is that good, Muffin?" Buck said. Ditzy gave a quick nod of the head. "Look at these..." Ditzy's nipples had stiffened. Buck rolled them between his thumbs and index fingers, giving the very slightest of twists. 
Ditzy squealed and squeezed Buck's thigh. 
"Why're you covering your mouth, Muffin? Are you hiding something from me?" Buck gave Ditzy's breasts a firm squeeze.
"Aah!" It was almost a bark.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were tryin' to hide how good this feels...tell me, Muffin, tell the truth." Buck's fingertips slid along Ditzy's areolas once again.
"Uh?"
"Are you a screamer?" Buck growled and pinched her nipples. 
Ditzy jumped and squeaked like a small dog getting kicked. Buck's hands fell away immediately and touched her shoulders.
"You okay?" Buck said. Ditzy took a shaky breath and patted Buck's thigh.
"Gentler...please. Don't stop...touch me more, Buck!" She was breathless as she leaned against him, looking up and biting her lip. 
Buck squeezed Ditzy's shoulders, then slid his fingertips down, down down, over her nipples down to her stomach. 
"C'mere, Muffin..." Buck pulled Ditzy into his lap, her back tight against his chest, their foreheads touching. 
"Buck..." His lips brushed briefly against hers. She rushed to kiss them before they could run away. Sweet, tiny smacking sounds filled the space between them as Buck dragged his nails up Ditzy's sides. Little striped ridges lined her hips and stomach. 
Every light caress of her naked body caused a ripple through Ditzy Doo. Her needy kisses and her shallow breaths drove Buck crazy. He had wanted her for ages, and now, finally, he was holding her and treating her the way she deserved. 
Ditzy's hands rose and took Buck's forearms, pushing them down gently toward her thighs.
"Don't mind the stretch marks...it's a mommy thing." She whispered. Buck bit her lower lip and ran his hands up and down her thighs. One hand squeezed while the other held her still at the waist. 
"Your body is beautiful, Ditzy...Let me take care of you." Buck said, between tender kisses. He slid a hand down to Ditzy's valley. The lightest fingertip along her outer lips shook Ditzy. She reached out frantically to grip Buck's suspender.
She moaned against his lips as he traced along hers. It had been a while for her, so Buck went for a classic.
His tongue teased gently until Ditzy let it through, moaning softly as Buck slid his index and ring finger up and down her outer labia. While their tongues mingled, Buck's middle finger crept down and prodded at Ditzy's entrance. 
"Mmm...! Mmm..." Ditzy's eyes shot open, then lidded back down. She trembled against Buck as his finger slid in and out with a slow pace. Ditzy pulled away from his lips, trying to catch her breath.
"Buck! You're...you're so sweet...I didn't...I didn't think you'd be sooo..eeeee...!" Buck squeezed her lips together, around his rolling finger.
"Did you think I was an animal, Ditzy Doo? Be honest." Buck said, wiggling his fingertip inside her.
"Nonononono! I just, I didn't I...mm!"
"You ever had multiple orgasms in a row, Ditzy?" He kept up the pace; squeezing, wiggling gently.
"I...uhhh...don't laugh...I...haven't...ever orgasmed? Like...ever?" She blinked and saw a look of unbridled shock on Buck's face. He'd gone stock still.
"I can fix that." 
Buck pulled his finger out of Ditzy slowly and got the distant look of a rocket scientist running calculations in his head.
"Huh?"
"I can fix that. Lay back, Muffin." Buck commanded.
"Buck, it's okay, I read that some women can't, don't feel like you need to--" Ditzy protested, laying down without thinking.
"I can think of a few reasons why. It can be a little complicated. Physical factors, mindset, stress, your specific equipment, your partner..." Buck mumbled. 
He pushed Ditzy carefully so that her head was near the opposite end of the bed, then he dropped to his stomach in front of her legs. 
"What? Buck, it's not that serious...Eep!" Ditzy squeaked as Buck grabbed her thighs and parted them wide open.
"You've got bruises on your thighs, Muffin. You work full-time, and you've got a kid, and you take care of me. It's not fuckin' fair that someone like you doesn't have orgasms. I don't accept that." Buck ran the side of his hand along Ditzy's inner thigh. The look in his eyes was severe, even sorrowful. 
"Buck, I'm okay!" 
"Do you want me to stop?" Buck said.
"...no."
"Gimmie your hand, Muffin." 
Ditzy reached out, and Buck laced his fingers in hers. He squeezed her hand and kissed her fingers like they were covered in a queens' rings. Buck slid an arm under Ditzy's leg, letting it rest on his shoulder. 
"Breathe, Ditzy. In...out....I don't want you to think about me. I want you to think about you. Your body. How it feels. Don't tell it to me, just relax your jaw...let your shoulders drop...and close your eyes." 
The world turned dark for Ditzy Doo.
For Buck, the world was a pair of thin grey thighs, a little blonde landing strip, and a pair of drooling, blushing lips.
He kissed along the inside of Ditzy's thigh, taking his time. She breathed deep.
He nibbled gently where her thigh met her stomach. A hitch in her breath.
He planted delicate kisses along her outer lips. A whimper.
Then with one slow motion, he dragged his tongue from the bottom of her opening to the top. Ditzy jolted and let out a rattling squeal. 
Hypersensitive. Had to be. 
That meant slow and gentle. It meant a careful pace. It meant...
Ditzy squeezed Buck's hand. He had opened her lips with a pair of fingers, and now his tongue rolled back and forth over the top of her clitoral hood. 
"Mm...mm..." Buck sighed as he savored Ditzy's heat. His tongue danced deftly around her clit and began a steady flicking rhythm right at its tip. 
"Eeeh! Ah! Ooohhh...." Ditzy whined. Her leg squeezed on Buck's head, pulling him in. 
In return, Buck lapped at her with more of his tongue, adding his drool to the mixture of Ditzy's flowing lust. 
She was floating in the clouds; the sensation of her nerve endings firing with each tiny slip of the tongue was the only thing she could hold on to. Buck anchored her in pleasure, not slowing nor speeding up his ministrations.
A thick, stubby prodding came for Ditzy's waiting hole, reaching in with teasing curiosity, sliding upward until suddenly Ditzy felt an electric shock shake her core. A pebble of pure pleasure was pressed from the bottom and the very top. 
Her shivering bleats opened into a bubbly moan. 
Ditzy was rising into the stratosphere, her legs quivering, her chest heaving with each shaking sigh. Every tiny push and savory lick brought her higher and higher, closer to the edge of space until it stopped.
Buck's finger slid out of Ditzy's wet, aching snatch, and her eyes snapped open to see Buck smiling smugly. He sat up, and with one hand, he began to unbutton his shirt.
Ditzy had almost forgotten he was here.
"Whuh?"
"Oh, don't worry...I'm just getting ready for the good part...let me just..." Buck reached down and inward. Ditzy gasped and squeezed her thighs around his arm. He was pinching, rolling his thumb over her pleasure button with the lightest of touches possible, still maintaining that rhythm. Around and around, Ditzy's hips shook and bucked as her man undressed with his other hand.
Suspenders came off, then pants unbuttoned. 
"You okay, Muffin?" Buck's voice echoed from another dimension. 
"Naaah! Nnneeh...ah!" Ditzy squealed.
"Don't tell me nobodies' ever gone down on you!" Buck said.
Ditzy nodded frantically.
"You're breaking my heart. Don't worry. I'mma take care of you. Just a sec..." 
Buck's clever, thick fingers left Ditzy. She whined pathetically at her hollow state.
"Shh..."  Ditzy heard the rustling of cloth and the jingling of metal clasps. The bed squeaked. 
Ditzy opened her eyes. Buck's wide purple shoulders were exposed to the air. He was much hairier than Ditzy had imagined. Stocky hands spread her legs once more, and Ditzy's gaze traveled down from Buck's tender smile, past her own breasts, and to his fat cock resting on top of her lips.
"Hi, Muffin." Buck growled.
"That's...that's a big boy..." Ditzy said. She reached down and touched Buck's thick rod.
Buck tore open a little wrapper and carefully stuffed himself inside a bright pink condom.
"Mmhm. And you're pretty small down here, so please tell me if you feel uncomfortable, okay?" Buck placed a hand on Ditzy's hip and lined himself up.
"Ooookay...okay..." Ditzy's heart fluttered.
"Don't be scared of me...it's okay..." Buck mumbled. "Just breathe."
Buck pushed in slowly and watched as his cock bent a bit at Ditzy's entrance. It was unbelievably tight, almost as tight as Scoots had been, but it was slick and hot. 
Another push.
"Slow! Slow...slow!" Ditzy squeaked. Her hand shot out and touched Buck's stomach.
Buck pushed even more gently. With a slight, slick noise, he gradually slid inside Ditzy Doo.
"You're squeezing...take a breath, Muffin...just relax..." Ditzy's eyes shut as she tried to catch her breath.
"I'm okay, I'm okay..."
"Right here...right here is fine..." Buck said. Ditzy coiled around him and clamped down, squeezing his hand. She was shaking. 
Buck rolled his hips back and forth, trying to push in just a little bit at a time. Each thrust got a gasp out of Ditzy.
Something in him loved seeing her like this; her teeth gritted as she tried to acclimate to his girth, but a more tender part reached out with his hand and stroked her cheek.
"Hey...Muffin, it's okay if it's too much. Am I hurting you?"
Ditzy looked at him with a trembling lip. Buck couldn't tell if it was panic or if he had upset her. 
"Nonono, please, please...I can take it!" Ditzy said. 
Buck pushed forward and hit the back. Ditzy yelped and shut her eyes again. "Ow! Ow, ow, ow..." 
"Okay, I'm gonna--"
"No, Buck, I love you, please, please just give me a chance!" Her eyes were wet as she reached out to hold Buck. She looked terrified. 
Buck leaned down and kissed her, fingers trailing through her hair. She squeezed him tightly around the waist.
Even as he pulled lips away from hers, she hugged him tight.
"Please don't be mad at me, Buck." Ditzy whimpered.
"I'm not mad, Ditzy. It's okay. Do you want to stop?"
"No, don't go, Buck! I-I can take it, I just--"
"No, you don't need to do anything. Just relax, Muffin. Just relax and let Buck take care of you..."
Buck sat up and pulled out to the tip. 
Ditzy was still hot and squeezing and wet. She was covering her face with both hands.
"Nice and slow, Muffin...nice and slow...just breathe." Buck's tip slid in and out of Ditzy's entrance with a lewd slurping sound. 
"Ah....ehh! Ehh! Eh!" With each sweet little push, Ditzy relaxed a bit more. Tiny squeaks came from behind her hands as Buck worked her, his hips sliding back and forth along a silent beat.
"You like that, Muffin? This spot, right here?" Ditzy nodded and moaned. "Help me out...put your hand right here and guide me." 
Buck took Ditzy's hand and placed it at his hip. Ditzy looked at him with one half-lidded eye and pulled him gently along his rhythm, then a little harder, her squeals getting louder as she pulled him deeper. Her grip on his cock relaxed into a tender squeeze, and Ditzy finally started to lose herself again. Her other hand came down to pull more insistently.
"There you go...you're doin' so good, Muffin..." Ditzy pulled Buck in deeper and gasped.
"FFFuck...you're so big...!" 
"Language!" Buck laughed, stroking her cheek.
"Ssssshush...big goof!"
"I'm your big goof, Muffin."
Ditzy held out her arms, and Buck leaned over her, sliding his arms under her back. Their foreheads touched, Ditzy's arms around his neck. 
"My Buck...my Buck!" She squeezed him tight in every sense of the world. He simply couldn't fit all the way. He was stretching her, pressing into her with each breathless push, but he could feel her limit. 
"My Ditzy," Buck said. He kept his thrusts nice and shallow, but Ditzy bounced her hips up to meet him.
"Please fuck me faster, Buck!"  
Buck's cock scraped along the top of Ditzy's tunnel at a quick, unyielding pace. Ditzy gasped and grabbed at the sheets with both hands, hanging on as her pussy made a chorus of wet shlicking noises. Her squeals returned and rose between her frantic breaths. 
The world was speeding up. She was soaring again, losing herself in the relentless pumping between her thighs and the hammering of her heart. 
Buck leaned down and suddenly his hands were groping Ditzy's breasts, squeezing them together. She squirmed, the intense pleasure flooding her head.
"Ohhh...! Eee...eeee!" Ditzy's grew louder and shorter.
Buck sucked on her nipple, twirling his tongue around it at the same frantic pace.
Ditzy's squeals exploded into screams as the first orgasm hit.
She didn't care if the world heard the bed squeaking or her frantic screams. Her body quaked under Buck's effort and it felt too damned good to stop or slow or care.
"Buck! BUCK! AHHHH!"
"Get it, Muffin! Get it!" Buck kept up that pace, thrusting upward and holding Ditzy's hips. His mind was focused exclusively on pushing her further over the edge. Buck was rewarded by the bounce of Ditzy's breasts and the shortness of her breath.
She was beautiful, even as her voice cracked under the stress of a drawn-out scream.
Buck slowed to a mercifully tender grind, pulling a bit of his length from Ditzy's quivering snatch. 
"Nonononono...don't stop Buck, don't stop!" Ditzy panted. She shuddered and bit her lip as Buck grazed her clitoris with the tip of his finger. 
"Uh oh...someone's a little cock drunk." Buck chuckled, twirling his finger around Ditzy's button. 
"Buuuuck...!" Ditzy whined, then yelped as Buck returned to his quick, light thrusts at her entrance, his fingertip dancing over Ditzy's clitoris. 
Her second orgasm arrived with an even louder scream. Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes, but the open smile on her face told Buck to keep going, please keep going!
The night stretched on and on as chained lightning rocketed through Ditzy's nerves. Every time she seemed to be coming down, Buck pressed gently on her clitoris or changed the angle or fondled her nipple until he finally pulled out of her entirely. 
And then he started eating her out again.
Ditzy gripped two handfuls of Buck's hair and mashed his thrashing tongue against her sopping wet pussy. Now there was no discipline or careful pacing. Buck lapped at her like a thirsty dog, and Ditzy broke into pieces as she careened back down to earth.
When Ditzy returned to consciousness, her throat was hoarse from screaming. A tender tingle had settled into her privates, especially at the entrance. 
The cool night breeze was whispering in through the window.
A glass of water was placed on the little chest of drawers next to Buck's bed, and Ditzy gulped it down without hesitation. Her hair was a mess and she was sweaty all over. 
She plucked at her stomach and found a curly purple hair. 
And suddenly she looked around frantically. He wouldn't leave her after all of that, would he?
The bed squeaked, and there he was. Buck slid under the covers next to her, and without a word, he kissed her on the forehead and held her in his arms.
"Buck, that was...I never...I don't even know where to start!"
"Well, you don't gotta leave a review, or anything. Was it good for you?" 
"I've never had one that big before, and I definitely never...came. Is it always like that?" Ditzy yawned.
"Oh, no, no it ain't always like that. I just wanted to spoil you, so I uh, I pushed your buttons. Seems like light and fast is what you like, Muffin. Light and fast." Buck mumbled, peppering Ditzy's cheek and neck with tiny kisses. 
"Ah...You're so fuzzy! It's kinda tickly!" Ditzy giggled. 
"I'll shave in the mornin'." Buck settled into big spoon position behind Ditzy. 
Ditzy felt the curtain of sleep dropping. 
All of a sudden all the physical exertion of the night washed over, and satisfaction incarnate wrapped a pair of big beefy arms around her. Ditzy couldn't remember the last time she felt so safe.
She slipped a hand into Buck's and squeezed.
"I'm sorry I'm not as experienced..."
"Shh...don't compare yourself to her anymore. I chose you, Ditzy. Because of who you are, I chose you."
"Mhm."
"You know, Ditzy...we could do this again. I got a chunk of change from that...work I did, and I wouldn't mind spending it on us. We could do this every week! You know, date nights. Saturday. We can have Sunburst look after Dinky, and we could just go do something for us. You and me. Just bein' Buck and Ditzy."
"Buck and Ditzy sounds like a folk band." Ditzy yawned.
"So do you wanna do it?"
"Again? I'm kind of exhausted, Buck."
"No, I mean the date nights."
"Oh. Yeah, I think that's just what we need. That's a great idea, Buck. I wanna cuddle all over you and touch your butt." Ditzy mumbled.
"Okay, it's sleepy time, now."
"Mhm. Love you, Buck."
"I love you too, Muffin."
The curtain fell, and Ditzy Doo finally found a restful sleep in Buck's arms, leaving him to look out the window at the stars peeking through the trees.





Adagio leaned against the back wall of Buck's apartment, just beneath his window. 
She had come to check on him, make sure he was safe, and now she felt a pain in her heart that she wanted desperately to deny. 
She had heard most of it. She was certain that half the city of Canterlot had heard the end of it.
Ditzy Doo's had bathed in Buck's passion and found the bliss that Adagio had come to crave. 
Adagio's fists had clenched so tightly she nearly drew blood from her palm.

If it was just a simple fling, Adagio wouldn't have cared. She might even enjoy watching Buck at work, but this was far more than simple physical attraction. The emotions she had tasted were leagues deeper than the blazing lust that Buck felt when he first met her. 
Jealous didn't even begin to describe it; Adagio was outraged.
After the selfless charity she had performed at the fair, Buck hadn't thought of her even once while he was inside Ditzy Doo.
"Sensual connection. An obsession with protecting her. It's almost...patriarchal." Adagio muttered.
But there was more; the need to perform well, concern for her health, and the want to hold, caress and embrace. 
A kind of emotional fulfillment that Buck had never felt between Adagio's legs.
Comfort. 
Peace.  
Far in the back, just the faintest glimmer of...
"Worthiness? Oh, Buck...you poor thing." 
There was more, of course, in Buck's rich cocktail of emotions, but as Adagio wiped away a tear that she refused to acknowledge, the tiniest of smiles pulled at the corner of her lip.
For everything she had tasted from the union, there was one sensation that was critically missing.
Satisfaction.
Buck had put his hands to the task of pleasing Ditzy Doo, and he had succeeded. The thirsty little trollop sounded like it was the first time she had felt satisfied with a man. But Buck hadn't been given the same treatment.
He hadn't cum yet. 
Adagio's smile grew toothy. Just yesterday, she had tasted a bit of this tenderness when Buck held her. He loved her still, but he was simply distracted at the moment.
Ditzy Doo was sleeping soundly, secure in the thought that she had won Buck's heart.
But men are fickle little things, and now that Adagio saw something Buck needed, it was time to play a new game.
She had been right, back at the fairground.
This was far from over.




> ((Explicit)) Chapter 25 - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For (U2)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been years since she thought of that time, before Buck and before Dinky and before Sugar Cube Corner. Ditzy made an effort to treat it like it was just a bad dream, but like any persistent nightmare, there was always a chance it would find her when she closed her eyes. 
Sometimes, the memory would creep up on Ditzy in the slamming of a door or a voice in the street or a quiet footstep behind her. Any nasty surprise threatened to bring a memory with it. 
A pair of tender hands. Behind them, a smile like a campfire. Arms that held on a little too tight.
Broken plates. Hands around the cheeks. Hands around the throat. Fire. A voice like a satin cloth, begging sweetly. Don't go. Please. Come with me. The hands going slack. Copper-colored eyes emptying out. 
And finally, relief.





On the morning after happily ever after, Ditzy Doo awoke in the stuffy warmth of Buck's bedroom. 
Ditzy was naked, in a pair of hairy purple arms, again, but she felt the tender, lightly snoring breath on the back of her head. 
The wide, rough hand that cupped her breast and the dryness in her throat brought a giddiness to her that she thought she'd forgotten, banishing the nightmare.
She had woken up in a dream. The arms of one, anyway. 
A dream sweet enough to leave a glass of water on the nightstand, because of course he would. She had screamed her head off. 
Ditzy reached, then gave up as she nearly tipped the glass over with her fingertips. She guessed he didn't really think about her arms being shorter than his, the big goof.
Ditzy tried to pull free of Buck's grip, but his meaty arms were like two cuddly pythons constricting her. The best she could do was a little shimmy and a twist that brought her face to face with her man.
There was a kind of serenity in his pursed lips and his bouncing eyebrows as if he was thinking deeply even in his sleep. His sweat and hers were mingling in the heat of the summer sunrise, but Ditzy couldn't bear the thought of letting him go. 
Ditzy had grown up on the cheesy romances movies her own mom watched. Another single mother; must've run in the family, Ditzy thought. All her life, she had searched for her own little hallmark story.
A sweet guy, a change of pace, a struggle, a happy ending. Instead, she'd gotten struggle after struggle after struggle, and worse, sweet guys were tough to find.
No matter where Ditzy looked for happiness, the specter of the past still haunted her, slithering through her mind in moments meant to be private and restful and hiding in plain sight on little Dinky's curious face. She looked so much like him at times. It made Ditzy shudder.
Didn't matter. After all the pain and tears, Ditzy had him. She had struggled, and she had fought, but she had her man. They had danced, they had kissed, and they had made love. Roll credits.
How were things about to change? Would Buck start pitching in around Ditzy's house even more? Try to be more of a father to Dinky? Would they have dinner together more often?
Was Ditzy Doo finally starting a family?
Maybe all of that could wait. Ditzy smiled and squeezed Buck. They had found a sweet, private bliss together, and Ditzy was determined to hold on to it.
So why did she still feel a bit of dread as Buck's eyes blinked open?
There was no hunger, no greedy leer, no knowing sneer.
Just a pair of warm golden eyes and a mouth that turned away for fear of its offending morning breath.
"Mornin' pretty lady." Buck yawned. 
"Good morning, Buck." Ditzy took the opening and kissed his cheek. 
"You sleep alright?"
"Mhm. I kinda just fell off after, uh, you know. How about you?"
"Best sleep I've had in ages. I'unno what it is, Ditzy, but somehow you make it easier on me when I sleep. Usually its a struggle." Buck's grip on Ditzy finally loosened as he stretched. 
"Maybe that's the secret Buck; you need a cuddle buddy!"
"That sounds nice..." Buck sighed, slipping down while Ditzy reached for the glass. Buck wrapped his arms around her waist and laid his head on her chest. All the barriers had disappeared. No more hovering hands. "Scratchy throat?"
"Mhm...I uh...made a lotta noise last night, huh?"
"Oh yeah. You were like a megaphone at the opera, Muffin." Buck nuzzled in the cushy comfort of Ditzy's naked breasts.
"I wasn't that loud, was I?" 
"Mmm...you were. Your orgasms're like...like sudden rain showers on a pond. They come in groups...loud and arrestin' but gentle and sweet. You're whole body shakes and you squeeze tight like you're scared you're gonna fall off the world. You bite your lip, too." Buck mumbled. 
"Huh?"
"It was beautiful. You...are so beautiful when you're like that, Muffin, and I was the first man to see it. All that sleepin' around finally came to somethin' good. Some kinda miracle." Buck said, kissing Ditzy's cleavage.
"Oh wow..."
"Too much?"
"No! No, not at all! I guess I just forget you're a writer, sometimes..." Ditzy said, running a nervous hand through her hair. In just a few sentences, Buck had summoned the butterflies back to her stomach. 
"Yeah, me too." Buck grumbled. "What time is it?"
"Well, it's about 7ish..."
"Oh shit! We gotta get to work!" Buck sprung up.
"It's Sunday."
"Oh, thank fuck." Buck slumped back down, humming as Ditzy rubbed his back. "Can I just hold you for a lil' while? I never wanna leave this magical place."
"You mean between my boobs?" Ditzy giggled.
"Yeah...but no. I mean this. This feelin'."
"I know what you mean...it's uh...been a while since I woke up like this."
"Sweaty and cuddly?"
"Well sure, but I mean...uh...this peace." 
"I meant it, last night. I wanna do Saturdays with you. Buck and Ditzy."
"Oh, I'd love to! But I need to figure out the babysitting situation with Dinky, and I didn't make as much as I would've liked at the fair, and I took off work for that booth, so I'm gonna have to make it up, and-"
"Muffin. Muffin! Relax...hey, if it's off the table right now, that's okay. Let me pitch in if things get bad, alright? We can figure it out as we go."
"Really?"
Buck laid back and scratched his chin. He got a familiar quizzical look on his face, filled with the seriousness of asking for seconds at the dinner table.
"Yeah! I...if we're gonna be together, I want you to be able to rely on me sometimes. I cain't just be a burden on you, I wanna contribute to your life." Buck said, getting up.
"Do you mean that?" Ditzy said, suddenly feeling small.
"I gotta start bein' a man some time, Ditzy. Men are supposed to provide."
"Uh...okay?"	
Buck kissed Ditzy on the forehead, and she felt a calm warmth envelope her. He kissed her cheek, her chin, her nose, peppering her with tender affection. To Ditzy, it was almost alien to be treated so preciously. Buck was miles away from the "sex fiend" that Adagio had mentioned. 
Ditzy had expected a greedy, grasping lust from him, but instead, he was stroking her hair and kissing her like she was a newborn baby. She still wasn't sure how to feel about it, but she knew these tiny, sweet little moments were priceless, and she never wanted to live without them again.
The dread and excitement Ditzy had felt were fading into the warmth surrounding her. She wanted Buck to love on her more. She squeezed him tight, speaking gently against his chest.
"Sunburst is gonna bring Dinky over and watch her here while we go to work. Until then...do you wanna be just Buck and Ditzy for a little while longer?" 
"I'd like that. You want a massage, Muffin?"
"You do massages?" Ditzy perked up.
"Do I do massages?" Buck laughed.
With a quick flip, Ditzy was on her stomach, with Buck's fingers gliding up and down her back.
"That sorta tickles...!"
"You're real sensitive, that's why...now, do you hurt anywhere back here? I mean, I can guess..."
Ditzy tensed under a gentle prodding at her lower back.
"Eep!"
"That's about what I thought. Lemmie take this slow..."
The ball of aches and knots that was Ditzy's back was methodically pressed and prodded back into a loose, cozy shape. At first, a dull pain shuddered Ditzy, but she gradually melted into a puddle of contended coos and hums.
"Where...did you learn to do this? The last time I got a massage this good was back in high school!" Ditzy moaned.
"Was it Bulk Biceps?" Buck said.
"Actually, yeah, it was! How'd you know that?" Ditzy blushed.
"He taught me. There was a time when I...really needed to learn how to give a good massage, so I did some work at the spa, and Bulk showed me the ropes. You guys were pals, right?"
"Uh, pals! Yeah! No wonder you've got magic fingers..."
"Well, I don't wanna brag. You good down there? Anything else hurting?"
"Hm? Oh! Uh...no, not really...but, could you keep doing that scratchy thing for a little bit?"
"You mean this?" Buck dragged his nails down Ditzy's back. Her feet kicked, and her knees turned in, her whole body quivering.
"That's the stuff..." Ditzy hummed. She shut her eyes and focused on the intense comfort. A blush had come to her cheeks, and she felt herself sliding back into that weightless place that Buck had put her in the night before.
Suddenly Ditzy noticed a hot, gentle feeling touching her thigh. She had almost forgotten that she was naked and Buck was a man. 
"Is that you, brushing against my leg?"
"Sorry, sorry! I'm not tryna be pushy, I woke up like that!" Buck's hands drifted away. 
"Do you...you know, wanna?" Ditzy looked over her shoulder to see a conflicted look on Buck's face.
"Do you wanna?" 
"Mhm." Ditzy smiled.
"Okay."
Buck kissed along the nape of Ditzy's neck while his hand slid down between Ditzy's crotch and the mattress.
A kiss at the corner of her mouth turned into a soft meeting of the lips.
Suddenly, Ditzy's breath was stolen away as Buck's fingers stroked at her with tiny come-hither motions. 
"Gentle and slow...let me just..." The bed stand's drawer slid open. Ditzy squeezed her thighs around Buck's hand. The summer heat stuffing the room was all around her. She felt Buck's fingers spreading her entrance.
"Ah! Buck, now, remember, go slow...!" Ditzy panted. Buck's tip prodded at her with only the slightest push behind it. 
"You're already so wet, Muffin...it should be alright..." Buck pushed in with a light fanning at Ditzy's clitoris. Her eyes shut as she took in another breath. 
"Oh my gosh...oh my gosh...!" Ditzy was floating on pins of pleasure. Buck gave her light, sweet little strokes, rubbing her clitoris in circles. The moment he stopped, Ditzy's hips rolled desperately against his fingers. Electricity was charging through her nerves.
"Oh? Like that? You want it like that, Muffin? Nice n' slow?" Buck growled against her neck.
"Yes...yes! Buck!" 
Buck picked up the pace just a tiny bit, turning his thrusts into a sweet sort of torture. Whereas last night Ditzy had rocketed out into space, now she was lazily drifting upward with the sunrise. Ditzy's legs quivered, her toes curling as she started losing thoughts. She let the breeze blow her like an airborne feather. Buck's tender pace kept her squeaking and biting the pillow until she clenched down and squealed with a light, drawn-out orgasm.
"Eee...aahhh!"
"Mmm...now that sounds like a good mornin'," Buck said. 
Ditzy took a moment to recover from the daze. That sensation was still new to her, and Buck's ability to pull it out of her so quickly was almost frightening. A part of Ditzy wondered if this was magic, but she stuffed it under the floorboards of her mind.
"I....uh...is this what morning is gonna be like from now on?"
"Ah, in a perfect world, sure. I would love to spend all day just pettin' you up, Muffin."
"Oh geez..." Ditzy blushed and covered her face.
"But I cain't. You know, with our schedules, it might be kind of hard to make time for...you know, this."
"Well, there's always Saturday!" Ditzy smiled. 
"Yeah, I guess." Buck said.
"And I might come over and cuddle after Dinky goes to sleep sometime..." Ditzy said, running a pair of nervous hands down her hair.
"Oh, Miss Ditzy Doo, how scandalous!" Buck laughed. 
"What? I can be naughty!" Ditzy said.
"Well, I know that now!" 
"I see how it is! We have one nice night and you turn into a mister sassy pants!" Ditzy turned and grinned at Buck.
"And you suddenly get all silly after you cum!" Buck kissed her forehead then started tickling under her arms.
"Gahaha! Hey, hey, nononono, no fair you can't use that, that's unfair!" Ditzy laughed and squirmed away.
"All fair in love and war, Muffin. C'mere!" 
"Eek! Help, help, my boyfriend is a big goof!" Ditzy squealed. Buck blew a raspberry on the side of her neck. "EEEK! You stop it!"
"Sure, sure." Buck laughed. By now they had rolled, and he was on top of her again. The light coming through the venetian blinds glowed in his golden eyes. For a moment, he just loomed over Ditzy, smiling and saying nothing.
"What?"
"Nothin'...just love you, s'all. Would you mind if...uh...we keep goin'?"
Ditzy blinked, then looked down and saw Buck's cock between her thighs. At some point, he'd put a condom on. A thin line of anxiety tugged at Ditzy's heart, but she bit her lip, then looked back to Buck's face and nodded. 
"I think I can take you if we just go easy..." Ditzy said.
She winced as Buck's cock spread her open. It was hot, even through the rubber, and as it slid into her, her toes curled, and she held tight to Buck's sides.
"Oooohhkay...gosh..."
"Too much?"
"Nonononono...I can...I can take it, I just gotta get used to you...my Buck is a big boy, that's all..." Ditzy squeezed him and giggled. 
"You sure?"
"You're never too much for me, Buck..." Ditzy said. Buck leaned down to kiss her sweetly as he worked his way in. 
As the uncomfortable stretching made way for waves of rolling pleasure, Ditzy relaxed and moaned against Buck's lips. She could feel his muscles working, and the low grunts in her ear told her that Buck wanted to do more, but when he shoved it in just a bit too hard, Ditzy yelped and gave his shoulder a gentle tap. 
Buck slowed down to a sensual grind and a sweet eternity passed as he slowly rocked Ditzy's body.
Every few thrusts, Ditzy covered her mouth and squealed, her hips hitching and shaking as another small orgasm hit, but after a little while, she felt a little anxiety peek through the haze of constant pleasure.
"Buck...are you gonna come?"
"Hm?"
There was a knock at the door.
"Uh? Buck? Ditzy?" It was Sunburst. "Anyone home? I brought Dinky!"
"He brought me!"
"Yeah! I came to drop her off?" Sunburst called through the door. 
Ditzy sucked in her lips and looked apologetically at Buck.
"...I'll get it, don't worry 'bout it." Buck kissed Ditzy's forehead and began his gentle slide out of both her and the bed.
"Hello?" Sunburst called.
"I'm comin', I'm comin'!"
"It's okay, I got a key!" Dinky said, and the door smacked open.
Ditzy giggled as Buck slammed his bedroom door shut and scrambled to get dressed.
In the space of that giggle, Ditzy Doo departed, and Mama returned.






Home never called. 
Like a sweet but distant mother, Home's arms were always open, waiting for her daughter. 
Adagio had submerged herself in tepid water, but her presence in the bath chilled it near to freezing, so she closed her eyes and let Home hold her.
Ever since their first night, Adagio felt a twinge of fear. 
The fear that interacting with Buck might change her; his magic subtly prodding at her mental state; corrupting her like so many other ambitious mages before her. Adagio's heart had ached in a million tiny ways since she met him, and that knowledge terrified her.
The frigid sting of Home brought everything into focus. Adagio's focus had been seesawing violently back and forth between her iron-wrought ambition and her feelings. 
She hadn't changed; she was simply frustrated.
She had bled and burned for Buck's sake. She had apologized. 
And still, he lay in that woman's arms instead of in Adagio's bed, where he belonged.
How much was she willing to compromise for his power? How much would she change when she finally acquired it? Was it truly worth risking an infection of human sentiment?
Adagio had a plan, and she knew, as always, that she would succeed, but the bitter jealousy gripping her heart cast doubt on every thought that swam past in her personal abyss.
She wasn't sure how to proceed without losing a piece of herself in the process.

In Home, time had no meaning. 
Adagio had only to wait a few dozen hours to make her play. 
Somehow, however, she could feel seconds of this day stretching into decades as she sunk into the cold pressure.  
A slight, flickering warmth trickled into her mind even as she sat in numb purgatory. It was a question that alarmed Adagio to the center of her soul.
How long would she have to wait to hold him again?
The doorbell rang, and Adagio rose from the clutching isolation of Home and into a bathrobe, pausing only to wring out her depressingly shoulder-length hair.
"I don't recall ordering room service, so if this is another fan, you have two minutes to make your case before security arrives."
Adagio opened the door, and instead of an assassin or a stalking pervert, she saw a messy mop of purple hair.
Scootaloo blushed brightly at Adagio's barely covered body. She held a familiar candy-striped box in one hand, and in the other was a lidded coffee cup.
"Shouldn't you be at work?" Adagio said, finally. Scoots returned to reality and tilted her head.
"It's Sunday?" 
"Is it, now?"
"Sunburst asked me to come and check on you." Scoots said. 
"How touching. I'm fine. Now flock off, Little Birdie. I have some important lounging to do. Very busy." Adagio turned away.
"I...also passed by work and got you some goodies!" Adagio pensively flicked up the box's lid and saw four blood orange tarts. Scoots held up the cup. "It's that scary reverse cappuccino you always get!"
Adagio silently scanned Scoots' expression. It was oddly nostalgic.
There was a time when children from a remote coastal village would be sent with offerings to the Dazzlings that they might spare their people a maddening performance. Adagio couldn't quite remember if that was Equestria or the human world.
"...how incredibly thoughtful. It must be a rare Sunday indeed for someone in this wretched city to pay me a bit of consideration." Adagio said, plucking the delivery out of Scoots' hands. 
"You're welcome!"
"Am I? I thought that you and everyone else in Buck's life regarded me as a date-crashing bogeyman?"
"To be fair, you totally were that on Saturday. I mean, at first."
"You could have sent this little care package through the front desk. Is there a reason you came to bother me this..."
"Morning?"
"Yes." 
"Well...I, uh...this's gonna sound sappy, but I wanted to ask if you were okay?"
Scootaloo's sudden spike of anxiety would have been delicious if it didn't match Adagio's own. 
"...come in."
"Huh?"
"Come inside. I'm dripping wet and freezing." 
Adagio turned and set the treats down; then, after a few nail-biting moments sitting on the couch, Scoots heard the bedroom door open. She wasn't any more dressed than before, but her hair was wrapped in a towel. She took a long sip of her sacrificial latte and a nibble of tart, then pierced Scoots with a gaze that looked like it could read the pages in the book of your life.
"Uhh..."
"I was under the impression that you were terrified of me, or alternatively, very aroused."
"Uhhh!"
"That is to say; I thought you regarded me as a monster, just like every other human in Canterlot. Why the sudden concern?"
"I don't think you're a monster. Not like Starlight says."
"I am every bit the monster that Starlight describes. You should know that by now, Little Birdie."
"Well, I just thought it was sort of messed up that no one checked to see how you were feeling, since Buck and Ditzy are, well, you know..."
"I'm not bothered in the slightest."
"Seriously?"
"Positively."
"I mean, Buck is happy and all, but you got left out in the co-"
"Buck is a grown man. He can do as he pleases. I'm not concerned at all about his little affair."
"Affair? But he totally dumped you!" Scoots said, then covered her mouth. Adagio was looking at her now, glaring from across the crouch.
"...don't mistake a setback for a failure."
"But they're dating! And singing and dancing and stuff! I'm mean, I heard from Sunburst that Buck's a little wired for magic lessons on Tuesday, but-"
"Buck is taking time for himself. It's something adults do, you simply wouldn't understand." Adagio smiled with the playful malice of a house cat.
"Jeez. Why do you have to treat me like a kid?"
"I'm hundreds of years old. You're all children to me."
"That's...that's super creepy, now that you mention it."
"Race, Gender, Age, Orientation...In a world like this, where humans are the only creatures you can talk to, those differences are nothing but a blur. You'd be amazed at how relative it all becomes with time. I frankly have a hard time telling you all apart."
"Uh-huh."
"Present company excluded. You are especially unique, Little Birdie."
"You really think so?" Scoots brightened.
"Of course. From what I've seen, you're highly resourceful and willing to throw yourself into new situations at the drop of a hat, even dangerous ones. In better circumstances, you would have made for an ideal minion."
"Uh...thanks, I think?"
"I'm sorry; that's reductive. Would you prefer the role of concubine?"
"Eh!?" Scoots suddenly felt a spotlight on her. The heat in Adagio's gaze crept closer, and just below it, Scoots could see just the slightest peek down the fluffy bathrobe.
"I can taste you pining, Little Birdie. Like Buck, but so much more confused. Admiration, attraction both aesthetic and carnal, Fear, it's all mixed together in that fluttering heart of yours. Tell me, have you been a minion before? Attached yourself as a cohort to someone exceptional?"
Adagio prowled forward. Scoots attempted to scoot back, but she ran out of couch as Adagio reached out to stroke her red cheek.
"I...uh..." Scoots gave a quivering smile, looking away. She tasted like a delicate strawberry creme.
"You ache for approval...and you're deeply fulfilled when you're in the act...of service. And...oh, there's no need to be ashamed of that, little birdie! What was the word? Sub? You said it yourself. There's nothing wrong with being a sub, is there?" Adagio tilted Scoots' face to confront her leer head-on. The feathery scrape of nails down her jawline made Scoots quiver. 
"Please stop...I don't...I don't want to talk about this."
"Fair enough. I'll leave it alone, then." Adagio said. She sat back with a casual grin as if she hadn't just made Scoots' heart skip a beat. 
"But...uh...you can keep doing, uh, this?" Scoots muttered.
"This? What do you mean?"
"Well, I know Buck isn't here and all, and when we did it, it was supposed to be a gift, or whatever, but I was wondering if it isn't too much trouble and you aren't doing anything, it's just that I've been feeling a little pent up and Buck is with Ditzy and they don't...well, I was hoping that maybe you would...help me...deal with it?" Scoots' word disintegrated into barely a whisper.
"Did you come to check on me hoping I would tend to your needs?"
"What? No! I-I-I wanted to know if you were okay! I didn't mean to, I mean I didn't come over thinking-I, well, maybe a little..."
"Oho?"
"I mean, no, I wasn't trying to hit on you, or anything!" 
"But you are interested in me pleasuring you. You just don't want to do the legwork."
"No, no, no, that's not what I meant!"
"Oh, you're absolutely precious when you're flustered. Come here. Let me take care of you, Little Birdie." Adagio said.
"Really? Just like that?" Scoots said.
Adagio reached out and gently scratched at Scoots' scalp. The little orange tomboy closed her eyes and sighed.
"We don't have to discuss it, and you can opt-out at any point. No strings." 
"Ooookay..." Scoots nodded dreamily. 
"And here I thought today would be unproductive...I think I might have learned something from our dear Buck. Something I'd forgotten." Adagio said. She slowly undid the buttons on Scoot's shirt with one hand while the other drifted downward. "There's a certain value in being more...open."
Scoots gasped as Adagio threw her knee to the side, revealing a dark spot in the crotch of her running shorts.
Deft fingers slid under Scoot's supporter and traced delicate little lines around her nipple. Adagio watched Scoots squirm and squeeze her thighs around Adagio's knee. A gentle, twirling press pulled a gasp out of her. Her heart beat miles in minutes under Adagio's sweet caress.
"Are you...gonna drink me...?" Scoots moaned. 
"No, Little Birdie. This is just for you." Adagio whispered in her ear. "Ara~Ara."
Scoots yelped as Adagio bit her neck, freezing like she was caught in a tiger's jaws. Then Adagio's knee pressed and slid and began bucking rapidly. Scoots held on to Adagio's shoulders and squealed, her little breasts bouncing as she sprinted toward a sudden, tiny orgasm. 
"Ah! Ahhhnn...ahh!" Adagio's knee came to a sudden stop while Scoots tried to catch her breath.
"Good girl...do you want more?" Adagio said. Scoots nodded quickly, then hummed as Adagio's knee moved once again with a tender slip.
Adagio would go on spoiling Scoots until, red in the face and panting like she ran a marathon, Scoots said she had to go to practice. 
It was a surprisingly productive afternoon.  





Monday slid into place without a dejected groan for once. Buck's day at work was short and hot, but business was starting to even out. One new icy treat to draw in sweaty city-dwellers, one surprisingly dense lunch rush, and one excited Scoots talking about how she wants to get "super anime" with the magic stuff. 
Buck was awoken from the haze of food service work by an alarm on his phone. He had a ride tonight.
It was getting dark by the time Buck headed for the parking lot. After a short ride, the beaten-up car pulled up to Buck's apartment.
"Thanks again for swoopin' by, Sunburst."
"No problem at all! I can't exactly hang around, unfortunately." Sunburst grabbed Dinky's backpack while Buck hauled the napping kid onto his shoulder.
"Why not?"
"I've got a lot of prep to do for tomorrow's training session. It's exciting in a way! I've never had to teach magic before; it was Starlight that taught me!" 
"Ah, I get it."
"You don't sound excited."
"That obvious, huh? I just hope Iit's not too incomprehensible. I just need to learn control, but I feel like I'm about to stick out like a boner in a sex ed class."
"Relevant but distracting?"
"Exactly!" 
"Well, don't worry about that. How are you and Ditzy getting along?"
"Hold on." Buck opened Ditzy's door and was instantly hit by the heavenly smells of her cooking. After being surrounded by sugary treats all day, the irresistible call of Ditzy's stroganoff was like a godsend. 
Buck wordlessly laid Dinky down on the couch. He stepped around to the kitchen counter and knocked on it like a door. Ditzy turned, smiled, and then went back to stirring.
They shared a brief word, then Buck and Sunburst retreated to Buck's living room.
"Well, things look fine, anyway." Sunburst smiled.
"Sure but...man, I don't wanna complain about this..."
"What's going on, Buck?"
They had left the door ajar. Ditzy Doo, still in her apron, leaned her ear as close to the door as she could.
Buck took a deep breath, then spoke in a low ramble.
"Ditzy's great, Sunburst. She's the sweetest girl I've ever been with. She's also kind of a pillow princess. A lotta small, cute orgasms, you know? But she had a hard time fitting me in, and...she's a lightweight. And that's fine--that's fine, I obviously have skewed standards, but I'm scared if I go hard enough to get off, I'll hurt her. And I'd never forgive myself if I did that. I'm sorry, is that too much information?"
"Buck, it's me. Did you forget how we met?"
"Oh. Yeah, fair, there's no such thing as TMI with us."
"So you aren't being satisfied."
"It's only been one night. But no."
"Not like you were with-" 
Ditzy shut her eyes.
"Don't. She's just inexperienced, that's all. It's been a long time for her, but she's trying."
"You should communicate this to her, don't you think?"
"I don't wanna hurt her feelins'. She's obviously insecure about it, so I've been tryin' to downplay it. I mean, man, I can get by with just my hand. Hell, that used to be my Friday."
"Just Friday?" Sunburst snickered.
"Point is, I can make do. It's only been a couple of nights. I just wanna give her time to adjust instead of whining about it."
"Okay, well...the thing is, she won't know until you tell her. I know that sex is important to you."
"I don't want it to be everything, though. I don't want to put a spotlight on it and make it seem like the most important thing in the world."
"Buck, if she doesn't satisfy you when you're together, then who will?"
Buck put a hand to his forehead and slumped forward. He was quiet for a few seconds.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that, Buck."
"No, no, I got what you mean. I don't want this to be a 'thing'. It feels wrong to complain about it."
"I've been there, trust me," Sunburst said. "So don't make a 'thing' out of it. Just tell her that you need a little bit more. Make sure you use the word 'need' and not 'want'."
"But I do want it." Buck and Sunburst said it simultaneously, though Sunburst was rolling his eyes. They smiled.
"It's important to you, which means it's important to the relationship."
Ditzy wiped her eyes and snuck back over to her apartment. The look on her face wasn't grief or defeat. It was defiance.	
"Sunburst, listen; not a word of this to Ditzy. The last thing I want is for her to think that she's unwanted just because she lacks a little experience. She shouldn't have to worry about that. She has enough on her plate, and I just...I want her to know that I love her no matter what."
"Then show her that. Maybe do something special for her, and remind her why you started dating in the first place. We all need a little reassurance now and then."
"Yeah. Yeah, you right."
"Before I go, I've got a little present for you." Sunburst said.
"Aw, bro, you shouldn't've!"
"I didn't, actually! Starlight insisted on this, and she even foot the bill."
"I am suddenly suspiscious!" 
"Here." Sunburst handed Buck a small satin box. 
"Bro, I've told you a million times, I'm straight!" Buck laughed.
"Just open it!"
Inside was a smooth pebble of greenish-black stone on a silver choker. Buck lifted it to his neck, then turned away from Sunburst.
"Help me with my dick?" Buck laughed.
Sunburst smiled, shook his head, and clicked the clasp closed.
"Okay so, what is it?"
"That is a changeling stone."
"What!?"
"Don't panic! It's not a literal changeling! It's a stone from their homeland. We had to cross-dimensional special order it from the organization. It cancels all types of magic besides changeling magic in the area around it. That stone is just big enough to cover your body."
"So this'll stop me from getting attacked by magic?"
"No magic; in or out. It means you don't have to worry about your own magic flaring up!."
"Seriously?"
"Seriously."
"So even if I get riled up, I won't explode, or turn into anything?" 
"That's right!"
"...so what's the catch?"
"Well, it won't protect you from changeling magic. And while it prevents magic coming in or out, it's very brittle and will eventually break under especially powerful magic. Regardless, until you can get a handle on your magic, this should make it easier to manage." 
"How much did it cost?"
"It doesn't matter."
"And Starlight sent this?"
"She didn't think you'd take it if she offered, so she sent it with me. Don't tell her I told you, alright?" Sunburst smiled.
"Sure, sure. Huh...I guess I never expected this kinda thing outta Starlight."
"Starlight can be intense...she's not all that great at people. But she does genuinely mean well, and she's out there risking her life to protect the people of this city."
"Well, so're you, and you're not an asshole about it," Buck said.
"She's under a lot of pressure. Just like you are. You two have more in common than you know. Fixating way too hard on work and stress."
"Alright, Sunburst." Buck groaned.
"Forgetting to have fun..."
"Starlight? Fun?"
"She likes to fly kites. Look, I've got to get going.  I'll see you tomorrow, Buck. Try to enjoy your night, alright?"
"Thanks, brother. I'll see you tomorrow."
With a hug and a smile, Sunburst headed out and left Buck to a warm and pleasant evening. 






Adagio Dazzle sat up in her chair and stretched. The buzzing fluorescents always hurt her eyes around this time of day. 
It was going to be another night of mindless, peaceful number crunching, and Adagio was intent on letting time's stream course by. She found a kind of serenity as she numbly recorded numbers and dates, sent brief notes to clients, and kept a tidy little record of all the suspicious little anomalies she found. 
As usual, Adagio was the last employee out on the floor. By now, the most desperate or abstract accounts were always placed in her lap. This is what it meant to be dependable in the corporate world. 
Adagio was growing impatient.
Luckily for her, Filthy Rich felt the same.
If Buck's lust was a blazing pyre, Filthy Rich's amorous attention was a bitter, reheated black tea. 
As Adagio tasted it in the air, she quietly, subtly reached into her purse and turned on her phone's recorder app.
"Miss Dazzle, don't tell me they've got you working after hours again! Honestly, someone should tell that Harshwhinny to give her employees a break once in awhile!" 
Adagio made a show of shuddering when Filthy Rich put his hand on her shoulder.
"Oh, no sir, it's nothing like that! We have a few new clients, and their portfolios are an absolute mess! I thought it important for the sake of our reputation to get these cleaned up as quick as possible." Adagio tittered, not looking up from her work. She tasted a small spike in his temperament. 
"Dependable as always, I see! Every time I see our customer reviews, I'm glad I found such a star accountant!"
"You hired me to be a copytypist, sir." Adagio mumbled.
"Yes, and they told me I was crazy! The other board members? Said I was pulling from a shallow pool, that I ought to put someone on with more experiences or references, but I told them; I said 'I don't make mistakes, gentlemen. I make investments!" Filthy Rich laughed.  
"I appreciate the faith you put in me, sir." 
"Well, I just saw that you were something special, is all. I want to once again apologize for whatever that mess was in the bathroom on this floor. Our contractors are hard at work finishing the office space above it. Which reminds me. There's something I wanted to ask you about, Miss Dazzle."
"Yes, sir?"
"That new floor is going to be an extension to this very office. You didn't hear it from me, but Affluent Answers is in a bit of a financial windfall at the moment, and so we've decided to expand with a new floor and double our count of employees!"
"Oh, well that's wonderful news, sir!" Adagio noticed the slight wince as Filthy Rich took a knee to speak on eye level. She was surprised his knees were still real.
"Yes, but with this expansion, there will be some changes. From what I heard, your manager, Ms. Harshwhinny may be relocated. Good news for you; she'll be off your back!"
"Well, I-"
"However, the additional employees may make things a bit chaotic around here. That's why I came up. I wanted to offer you a position on another project. One a bit more lucrative and less hectic."	
"Sir?"
"I'd like to take you on as my personal financial advisor. I'm about to invest in a little side project, and I'd like you to run my numbers. You'd have you very own desk in my office, away from all the squawking and nagging."
"Well, sir, I'm not sure if-"
"I'm offering this position because I heard you've been having a rough time. Overwork, lousy manager, boyfriend run off with another woman. It's sad to see such a talented worker go through so much!" I just figured that a woman like you ought to be taken care of. And there ain't no better place in this company for you than at my side. What do you say?"
The grin of a weasel split Filthy Richs' face. Adagio weighed the pros and cons. He was playing directly into her hands, but things might get messy if he decided blackmail didn't suit him while they were in private. She didn't like the idea of him being able to lock a door behind her. On the other hand, even slightly rejecting this vulture could bring down his wrath in some petty, bureaucratic way. 
Just as Adagio was about to make her play, she was interrupted by a familiar, grating voice.
"Mr Filthy Rich. We here at Afflluent Answers value absolute professionalism in our workplace conduct, and that includes topic of conversation. While I recognize your status as CEO of our parent company, I will ask you not to pry into the personal affairs of our workers. Do I make myself clear?"  Said Ms. Harshwhinny. Adagio could have sworn she had left hours ago. 
"Well, Ms. Harshwhinny, its a pleasure to see you, too! That was just water cooler talk, no breach of contract, here. Say, didn't I hear you were being reassigned?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
"I see, I see! Well congratulations to whoever gets you on their team!"
"If that's the case, you should congratulate yourself."
"How's that, now?" 
"I'm being moved to the secondary office on the next floor. Into the position of Senior Director."
"Ah."
"Which brings me to the reason I'm here. Miss Adagio Dazzle?"
"Yes ma'am." Adagio sighed, resisting the urge to roll her eyes.
"For your services both in and outside of the company, I'd like to offer you a promotion. I want you to be the Assistant Director of Finance. You'll be working with me directly, though you'll take over my old office on this floor. You'll recieve increased compensation for your increased responsibilities. I don't need an answer right away, but I urge you to consider it." Harshwhinny said. Adagio caught the barest hint of a smile on her face as Filthy Rich silently seethed.
"Well...I can hardly refuse such an offer!" Adagio pivoted. "I accept."
"Excellent choice, Assistant Director." Harshwhinny shook Adagio's hand, and the satisfaction both of the women felt from the shock on Filthy Rich's face was worth its weight in gold. "If you'd like to come with me, we can get started on your paperwork. That is, unless our CEO has any other comments to make?" Harshwhinny said. 
Filthy Rich's draconian glare eased off only the slightest bit. His hand had fallen from Adagio's shoulder. 
"Not at all. As a matter of fact, I just remembered I've got an important call to make. You ladies have a nice night."  Filthy Rich said before slithering off to the elevator.
He tasted like a man vowing revenge. Truly, he must have considered himself a Macbeth. He seemed like the type to only read the first few pages of a play.
Still, this was a step forward. Filthy RIch's grasping talons had been denied, and so his sense of entitlement would only grow more intense. When he made another move, it would have to be more drastic if he meant to ensnare his "prey".
Excellent. 
"Are you quite alright? I hope the news didn't shock you too much." Harshwhinny said in a suddenly compassionate tone. Adagio snapped from her reverie.
"I'm fine. Thank you again for the opportunity."
"No need. You deserve better than to be ogled by a slavering ghoul like Filthy Rich, and you certainly deserve better than a cubicle. You don't know me, Assistant Director. I was only here a week before my monstrous dopppelganger took over. But I know you. You saved my life, and if the records are accurate, you've been saving Affluent Answers as well."
"Well, I don't like to brag."
"Of course not. We are professionals. We know our worth."
Now, this was a rare flavor. Earnest solidarity from a human which she had neither coerced nor seduced. Solidarity, a measure of trust, and buried beneath...embarrassment. 
"...yes."
"Thank you for your service and cooperation, Assistant Director Adagio Dazzle. I look forward to our continued cooperation."
"...Miss Dazzle will do just fine."
"Very well. Shall we get your papers together, Miss Dazzle?"





Buck wiped his hands with a dishtowel. The dishes had taken a bit longer than usual. As Ditzy helped Dinky get ready for bed, Buck retreated to his own couch and laid back. One hand held open a copy of McKee's Dialogue, but his eyes were elsewhere. Like always, Buck was distracted.
It wasn't so much that the stone was striped. It's more like the dark faded into a sickly green like a piece of cheese that was starting to turn. 
So this was his salvation; a pebble from another world that could retard magic. Courtesy of the changelings, who as far as Buck remembered, were his enemy. He couldn't remember much of the one they called Chrysalis. He must have been in so much shock that he blanked it out. The gears in his head ticked with questions he didn't have answers for, like how they had gotten the stone and what the changelings would do if they found out he had it.
He didn't like not knowing, but on the other hand, he shouldn't have to care. As long as he picked up some magic fundamentals, he would be fine, right? Then all this equestrian horseshit could go back to something he didn't have to think about. Just another distraction in a chaotic world. 
The stone was supposed to keep his magic in check, yet it was funny, Buck thought, that it didn't make him feel any different. He still felt frustrated for not getting off with Ditzy and guilty in equal measure. 
He was doing everything he could to not think about Adagio, but it wasn't enough. Moments of blazing passion flickered in his mind like a trail of candles in the dark. He knew where those thoughts led, and it wasn't to his girlfriend.
"Buck?"
Ditzy stepped through Buck's threshold and closed the door gingerly. She seemed a bit frazzled; a few strands of hair in her face after going through the rigors of putting Dinky to bed.
"Hey, Muffin. You okay?" Buck opened his arms, letting Ditzy lay right on top of him. The weight of her body and the press of her breasts against Buck's stomach felt so comfortable and natural, he couldn't believe he'd missed out for so long.
"Just tired. Mom stuff."
"Yeah? What's goin' on?"
"Dinky doesn't know what she wants to do for her final project. Somethin' about a diorama, or a poem, or a little essay about a fictional character, or somethin', I dunno. She's kinda freaking out about it."
"Oh, that sounds familiar. Choice paralysis at seven years old? That's a pretty typical symptom of-"
"She's fine, Buck. Once she decides on what she wants, I know she'll do a great job."
"Alright...well, if there's anything I can do to help, let me know. Schoolwork is kind of like jogging. It sucks the whole time you do it, and you get suspicious when you see someone enjoyin' it."
"Didn't you say that Sunburst liked doing schoolwork?" Ditzy laughed.
"Nah, he likes studying, but that's just as bad."
"...Buck, you're literally studying a book about dialogue, right now."
"Yes, and I'm a total scoundrel." Buck smiled.
"No you're not! You're a big ol' sweetheart!"
"If you insist." Buck idly ran a hand through Ditzy's hair. 
"You are! You've been so gentle with me..."
"And you've been patient with me, and all this magical horseshit. But hey, check out what Starlight sent me! This little pebble here is gonna protect me from magic, and stop my own from comin' out. So you can rest easy."
"That's great, Buck!" Ditzy said remembering suddenly that she wasn't supposed to know about it. "Does this mean you don't have to take magic lessons?"
"No, I still do...they're gonna teach me the basics, so I can at least be ready if something comes at me."
"I can protect you, Buck."
"You shouldn't have to fight alone. Hell, you shouldn't have to fight at all."
"But I will! If you need me to, I'll fight! I'm tougher than you think!"
"I know, I know. You're tougher than me. I'm just tryin' to carry some of the weight on my own. You shouldn't have to put both Dinky and me on your back. I'm not your baby."
"No, you're my boyfriend."
"Right. We're not married or anything; you shouldn't have to carry my burdens. That's why I've gotta learn this stuff."
"That's not what I meant. I meant that I want to support you if I can...and I want you to support me. Remember what we said the other night?"
"Honka donka bazonkas?"
"No, Buck, the other thing. Remember, we were right here, on the couch? What'd I say before we did our do-over?"
"Uh...you said that whatever's bothering me, you'll be there for me." 
"That's right. So, is something bothering you? You know you can tell me." 
Ditzy searched Buck's face and found the expression he made whenever he was especially pensive about something.
Normally she loved that look because it meant he would start rambling about a story idea if she asked, or he would mention a little piece of philosophy, or, most times, tell a really dumb joke. Now, however, it filled her with dread. She knew what he was overthinking about, and she knew it was her fault, but she wasn't sure what to do.
"I'm fine. I'm just a lil' bit stressed about magic training tomorrow. What about you?"
"Me?"
"Well...not to be rude, but your hair's messed up, and you smell like you need a shower."
Ditzy flushed red and nearly scrambled off Buck, but he placed his hands on her ass and pulled her forward so that their noses were almost touching.
"You've been bustin' your ass today. I know 'Mommy Stuff' is a full-time job, but you don't gotta do it with me. So, how about you take a hot shower, and when you're done, we can cuddle for a lil' bit. Sound good?"
Ditzy forgot her line of questioning in Buck's smirk. She nodded slowly, her eyes shifting slowly off-center.
"Alrighty. I'll go warm it up for you." Buck said.
"Okay."
"Muffin?"
"Yes, Buck?"
"You're...gonna have to get off me, first."
"Oh! Um, right, I uh...right."
Buck kissed her briefly, then stepped into his room. Ditzy realized she had been standing awkwardly in his living room, twirling her hair just in time for Buck to come back and tell her it was ready.
"I'll grab you a clean towel. Take all the time you want, Muffin."





Down a stretch of hallway and around a corner, Buck put his master plan into action. It was a technique he had learned and perfected over the course of a previous relationship that he kept trying to forget. Once or twice he had used it to earn a good tip.
For Buck, it was especially difficult because of the timing. If he let his concentration lapse for even a moment, all the effort would be for naught. Not tonight. Tonight Buck was determined to show Ditzy that he cared, and so with a look of cautious optimism, he stepped into the dingy, flickering laundry room of his apartment complex, put his coins into a machine, and started it up.
"You've changed, man."
"MONKEY ON A STICK! Don't DO that!" Buck whirled around, clutching at his chest. His old friend Smolder leaned in the threshold, smirking and snacking on an apple. In the place of a flowing gown, she now wore a faded jean jacket over pyjama bottoms.
"Hah! Sorry, couldn't resist! I almost forgot how jumpy you are!"
"What're you doin' here?"
"Laundry. Didn't pack a whole lotta clothes. What are you doing here?"
"Making an effort." Buck shrugged, patting the machine.
"For a girl? You? That's not the Dark Lord I know." Smolder laughed.
"Alright, ease off, Daggertooth." Buck grumbled, but an old smile settled on his face.
"I mean it. The Buck I knew back in college wasn't anything like this. Always putting on an act. Took me a while to realize the smile was fake. Now you're sighin' and stoppin' fights and goin' the extra mile for a housewife. How about that?"
"Yeah, well, she's worth it."
"Buck, did you ever try patching things up with--"
"No. She doesn't care and I'm over it. Leave it alone."
The two stared at each other, then. It was an old conversation that dragged across the floor.
"I knew he was full of shit." Smolder smiled.
"Who?"
"Gar Gar. He said you were up there cowering in the tower when I was rampaging. Said he had to smack some sense into you. Now I know that's a lie. You never lost your nerve." Smolder swatted Buck on the back. 
"I mean, it's still me, Smolder. Just a few pounds and a few scars heavier."
A beep that was more of a honk blared through the room.
"And that's my time. I gotta get back." Buck leaned down and collected the fluffy towel he had placed in the drying machine.
"Okay, not gonna keep you. It was nice catching up a little."
"Hey, you're always welcome around here, Smolder."
"Yeah? I'm gonna hold you to that! Seriously, though, you're all full of love, now. I'm sorta jealous."
"Yeah, no kiddin'." Buck laughed. Smolder punched him on the shoulder as lightly as she ever allowed,
"I'm proud of you. I can tell you really love that lady."
"I do. I really do."
"So tell me this. Why the hell do you look so sad?"





Compared to the toy-filled hazard zone of Ditzy's own shower, Buck's was roomier. This meant it was basically a coat closet, but with more hair. Little jam colored ringlets could be seen all around Ditzy's periphery, reminding her that no matter how Buck scrubbed, he was always shedding like the labrador she compared him to. That little imperfection brought her a small bit of comfort. 
After turning the heat a ways down, Ditzy took her time getting clean. Despite the soothing comfort, Ditzy stood under the stream, waiting for something to happen. 
A pair of purple hands tossing the curtain aside, grabbing at her. A soothing but demanding voice insisting as a sponge scrubbed her back. An equally insistent touch, but lower.
None of that happened. 
Instead, Ditzy Doo enjoyed the sensation of the running water and settled into a sweet solitude that she was getting less and less of just lately.
It wasn't until Buck knocked on the bathroom door that she remembered to be tense.
"You okay in there?"
"Just finishing up! Did...did you get the towel?"
"Yeah, I got it! Can I come in?"
Ditzy paused.
"Well, sure!" 
Ditzy heard the door open, and a rush of cool air swept in. It was a cold summer night, and she could feel goosebumps prickling her skin. 
She saw the wide-shouldered silhouette approach, and for a second, the old fear tried to creep back in. Ditzy froze and stared through the curtain like it was a screen door to hell.
"Muffin?" 
Ditzy tossed the curtain aside, and there was Buck, holding a steaming towel. 
"I warmed it up for you!"
Ditzy took his hand, and the second her foot touched the fake tile, she slipped. Buck caught her, braced her, and helped her out of the tub. Ditzy cursed herself for shivering, for being so clumsy, but Buck smiled.
"Here. Put your foot up here. I've got you."
Ditzy placed her foot on the lid of Buck's toilet, then felt the steamy heat of the towel wrap around her leg. It pressed in under Buck's gentle hands, then slid up with deliberate slowness.
Ditzy shuddered, placing a steadying hand on Buck's shoulder as he kneeled, working the towel over her curves, soothing her with a tingling warmth. 
Every place that the towel dried, Buck planted a tiny kiss; first on her knee, then the side of her thigh, then her hip, her right butt cheek, then a sensuous trail of kisses up the small of her back until Buck was standing right behind her, the towel rolling slowly over Ditzy's breasts as Buck kissed the side of her neck.
Ditzy held as still as she could, but every bit of care sent a tiny shiver into her core. Buck was worshipping every inch of her, and even though she dreaded, ached for him to get greedy and handsy, Buck's affection baked her cheeks with an intoxicating heat. By the time Buck started kissing her cheek, the one on her face, Ditzy felt like the wrapping, squeezing heat of the towel would spin her into cotton candy. 
At some point, Ditzy had grabbed onto Buck's arm, and her hips swayed against him in a slow dance.
"You like that, huh? A warm towel on a cold night...there ain't nothin' like it. C'mon. Let's go snuggle up. Don't want you to get cold." Buck said. 
With the warm towel and the warm arms around her, Ditzy felt like she was in a dream.
She came here for something. Was it cuddles? Maybe. No. Well, yes, it was! But also...
Ditzy remembered. 
"Buck..." Ditzy pulled away and stepped over to the bed. She turned and looked at Buck's easy smile. 
"Yeah, Muffin?"
Ditzy dropped the towel.
"Please, Buck..."
Without a word, Buck treated Ditzy to more tiny kisses. His hands moved from her cheeks to trailing through her golden hair. Ditzy held onto his shoulders, fearing that her legs might give out.
Buck's hands took a ponderous journey down her back, then Ditzy gasped as Buck grabbed her ass. He nudged her forward and soon he was on top of her.
Ditzy's hands hovered once more, but Buck took her wrists and guided her to reach under his shirt. Ditzy tugged upward, pulling away from Buck's lips only long enough for the tank top to clear his head.
Ditzy looked down and felt a rush of embarrassment. Her legs were wide open, her breathing was shallow, she was turning redder by the moment and Buck had barely done anything. Buck looked about ready to burst out of his jeans, but his face looked concerned.
"What's wrong?"
"Hm? Whaddaya mean?"
"You're cryin', Ditzy." Buck's fingertip came away wet from Ditzy's face.
"Oh! That's not, like...uh...the way you treat me, it's like I'm some sorta goddess! I just...I've never been touched the way you touch me, Buck. It's not just sweet, it's..."
"Reverent?"
"Yeah! I'm just not used to this treatment, so i think I'm a little overwhelmed..."
"You wanna stop?"
"Nonono! Let me just..." Ditzy struggled with Buck's belt. He gently pushed her hands away and undid it, but gave Ditzy the courtesy of letting her pull the zipper down.
"As long as you're okay, Muffin. Come here." Buck, now free of his pants, pressed his cock right up against Ditzy's slit. He pressed down with his thumb and slid his length against Ditzy's outer labia. With each little nudge of his cockhead against her clitoris, Ditzy twitched and hummed. Buck began slow, but with every few thrusts, he picked up the speed, until a gasping Ditzy patted on his chest.
"Please...please don't make me wait anymore, Buck!" 
"Sorry...just wanted to make sure you were nice'n wet." Buck said, lining himself up. He paused. "Hold up, let me get a condom, Muffin." Buck reached, but Ditzy clung to him.
"No, that's okay, that's okay! It's one of my safe days!"
"How do you know that?"
"I may have gotten a little teensy bit neurotic about it after Dinky was born..."
"It's still a lil' risky, though."
"It's okay. I want...I really wanna feel you."
Ditzy's nails dug into Buck's shoulder as his cock dug deep into her. 
"Okay...okay..." Ditzy closed her eyes and let loose a deep breath. She threw her arms around Buck's neck, staring into his eyes as she whimpered. "Come on..."
Buck plunged in deeper and found the bottom of Ditzy's honey pot. He thrust just once, and Ditzy's hands flew to her face. A little yelp and a nervous giggle, almost like she'd been tickled.
"Too much?"
"I'm okay...keep going. It's okay, it's okay." Ditzy stammered. Her face tried to stay full of concentration, but every light thrust made Buck's cock kiss her cervix. She pulled Buck's head down next to hers, squeezing him as his hips rolled, spreading her with a hot, meaty thickness.
Ditzy little affirmations melted into moans against Buck's ear. The closeness and the feeling of his raw cock grinding against her walls made Ditzy feel so safe and so loved, but she fought her own rising anxiety with every thrust.
The excitement and the nervousness mixed together in Ditzy's mind as Buck's little gasps turned into grunts. She could feel him tensing inside her. 
"It's okay...fuck me, Buck!" Ditzy whispered in Buck's ear.
All of a sudden it was like a burning battering ram slammed into Ditzy on the inside. Buck's sensual roll of the hips turned into a rougher slap of flesh on flesh, and Ditzy clung to him, holding her tongue against the burning. Buck's grunts grew louder and shakier. He was finally getting into it, but Ditzy's hand flew up to cover her cries while he railed her. 
She was coming to a familiar place, a horrible place that she had tried to forget. 
It was a scar in her mind, seared into an open wound by an act of passion. Buck was swearing under his breath, squeezing Ditzy's ass with both hands, going harder and faster. 
He would come soon. Ditzy hoped he would come soon. 
She thought of their little conversations at night, the tears in his eyes after their fire scare, his burning gaze on the dance floor, the warmth of his arms. She focused on the little wonderful moments they shared together, the beauty that they found in the heat of their joined hands. She thought of Dinky, and how glad she was that a man like Buck was in her life.
"Oh, Muffin...Ditzy, Ditzy, hey!"
Ditzy blinked and looked up at Buck with wet eyes. Had she cried on him? No, Ditzy knew the look in Buck's eyes. It was that look he had whenever he made even a tiny mistake. A sunken, broken squint, trying to hold back tears that refused to be dammed up.
"Buck? Wait, Buck, it's okay, I'm alright!" Ditzy stroked his cheek, but she knew it was too late. It was all too much. Buck slid out of her carefully, then laid at her side and hugged her tightly to his chest.
"I was hurting you!"
"It's okay!"
"No, Ditzy, no, it's not. I don't ever want it to be like that. I love you too much to hurt you like that. Don't ever let me do that, please, just tell me if I'm hurting you, please..." 
"It's not you Buck, it's, there's some bad stuff that this reminded me of and I...I can't talk about it right now. I didn't mean to ruin it, I wasn't trying to-"
"This isn't your fault, Muffin, it's mine. I need to pay better attention. I thought I warmed you up enough, but maybe it was the angle, or the speed, or...I don't know. Are you sure you're okay?" Buck's hand shook as he rubbed Ditzy's shoulder.
"Buck, I'm okay. Really, I'm okay."
"Alright." He was holding her like a baby again. Like at any moment he would squeeze her too hard and she would shatter like a porcelain doll. Ditzy laid in his embrace, dangling between shame and comfort.
"Do you still want to...?"
"No...no, I can't. Not if it means hurting you. Can I please just hold you for a little while?"
Ditzy nodded. Buck pulled the covers over the two of them and stroked Ditzy's hair for so long that she nearly nodded off. 
Ditzy tried to find the words, but there were none. There was just the sense that she was digging into a place that she didn't want to be with Buck, a place that went past tender care.
"I promise it won't always be this way, Buck. We can figure this out."
"You don't have to push yourself for me, Ditzy. I don't wanna make this into a big deal. We can take it slow."
"Are you sure? I know it's different for guys..."
"I don't ever want you to think that you're obligated to have sex with me, Ditzy. It's not that important. Especially if it hurts you." Ditzy couldn't find her argument against Buck's chest.
"Okay, Buck. Do you wanna come and sleep with me and Dinky tonight?" Ditzy smiled up at Buck, trying to find normal again, but he looked a little lost.
"No, I'll stay here, tonight. I don't want y'all to have to tiptoe around me in the morning, anyway."
"It's no trouble..."
"I think all the stress of tomorrow is getting to me as well. I think I ought to just turn in." It was still hours before his bedtime, Ditzy knew.
"Well, if you're sure...I won't keep you up."
Ditzy puckered her lips, and Buck came in with a kiss so sweet and tender it made her forget where she was for a moment. When Buck's lips finally pulled away, Ditzy felt lonely in an instant.
"I love you, Ditzy Doo."
"I love you too."
And so Buck went to bed early, leaving Ditzy to listen carefully at the wall behind her bed. 
After a few minutes, Ditzy heard the gentle shuffling and, eventually the quiet gasp. Buck had finally finished. 
Ditzy had awoken this week wondering how much things would change.
Now it felt like everything was the same. One thin wall and a million miles between her and the man she loved.
Ditzy wanted to get up and go to him. She wanted to beg him for another chance or scream at him to talk this through with her, but he was scared of that conversation and so was she. 
Adagio's words out on the proving ground echoed through her mind.
You will never be enough for him.
"No. You're going to figure this out, Ditzy Doo. Don't get cold feet now. There's gotta be another way." She whimpered in the dark of her bedroom.
Ditzy wanted to be what Buck needed in that moment, but she was terrified that she would go over there and fall apart all over again.
Buck needed her, but right now, he needed to be by himself.
So Ditzy gritted her teeth, closed her eyes, and left Buck alone.
Like always.





Tuesday was a scorching hot, humid day, the kind that makes you regret waking up in any place south of the north pole. Buck awoke in a groggy, sweat-soaked daze, his sheets needing to be peeled off before he could jump into a cold shower. 
Buck always fucking hated summer. It wasn't just that he was a barrel-shaped, hairy man, but the worst times in his life always came during the summer. He lost his hometown in the summer. He lost his dad in the summer. He lost his dignity in the summer.
Buck emerged from the shower, dressed light, and put his hand on Ditzy's door before realizing she was already off at work. Then he circled back around to the kitchen and realized that his fridge was dangerously close to empty again. 
The only things left were a plastic container of something that used to be salad fixings and a big pitcher of lemonade.
The pitcher had a little note on it that read 'Stay cool today! Good luck with the magic stuff! <3" 
"I don't deserve her, really I don't." Buck said it with a humorless smile, then held the nice cold pitcher to his chest. 
After pouring himself a glass, then another, and another, he picked up the phone.
"Hey Scoots! It's hot as balls out, do you wanna head over to Sunbursts' early and use his air conditioning?"
"And get a jump on the magic training?"
"Yeah, I guess. If we bring a tub of ice cream, he'll totally let us bum around his place all day."
"Sounds like a plan!"
When Buck met up with Scoots, she had a tub of chocolate ice cream under one arm. She was also wearing a hoodie and clearing suffering for it.
"Yo, Scoots! Here's a ten spot for the ice cream."
"Woah! Since when do you pay for stuff?"
"Don't worry about it."
"Why're you wearin' a backpack?"
"Oh, I brought some notebooks and pencils and highlighters and stuff."
"You're gonna take notes?"
"Aren't you?"
"I was just gonna wing it."
"Ah well, doesn't hurt to be prepared for once."
"Okay, well, you ready to go? This heat is killing me!"
"Yeah...why're you wearin' a hoodie?"
"No reason!" Scoots said, blinking rapidly.
"You've got the worst fuckin' poker face, Scoots. What happened? Didja get an embarrasin' tattoo? Without me?" Buck gasped.
"No! I...I...it's none of your business!"
"Okay, sorry. Didn't mean to offend."
As they stood at the crosswalk, Scoots' face started to look like an orange balloon; her cheeks puffing out as she tried to hold the wind in.
"...Scoots?"
"I got a hickey, okay!?" Scoots exploded.
"Oh damn! Good on ya! Who from?"
"...Adagio."
"Oh." Scoots looked at Buck like he was a landmine she had stepped on, and knew what would happen if she lifted her foot.
"You're not mad, are you?"
"What? Naw! No, not at all."
"Well, why not!?"
"Well, for one, it ain't none of my business who she fools around with."
"Uh-huh..."
"And for two, she's a grown-ass woman who can make her own decisions."
"Oh my god."
"What."
"She said the same thing about you."
"That I'm a grown-ass woman?"
"No, dummy! That you can make your own decisions! She's not even butthurt that you're dating Ditzy, like not even a little bit!" 
"Huh. Well, that's nice to hear. So you and Adagio, are you turning into...a thing?"
"No! Of course not! She's not...I'm not...no, I uh...no. Nothing like that, don't worry!"
"I'm...not? But you hung out? How's she doing?"
The lobby at TenPony Towers was remarkably cool and crisp. Suits and the corporate mannequins that wore them were shuffling around as Buck and Scoots crossed the lobby. Everyone they passed gave them a bit of a stink eye.
"Her hair is still all singed, and her back hasn't healed up, yet. But besides that, she's fine."
"Well, that's good. I'm glad you hung out with her. She needs a friend, I think. I don't think she really knows how to be a friend, you know?"
"I know what you mean. Even when we were doing Cartoons and Vodka and game night, she was totally scheming the whole time."
"You think if I called Sunnybun, she'd give her a friendship lesson?"
"That sounds like a bad idea for a bunch of reaons."
"Yeah, fair. So uh...I take it you got laid, then?"
"Uh-huh...Adagio's a little...intense. I almost felt like I needed a buddy for that." Scoots said, smiling at Buck.
"Is that an invitation? Scoots, you know I can't do that kind of thing, now."
"Can't or won't?"
"Ooh, she's rubbin' off on you." 
The elevator dinged. 
"C'mon, tell the truth. If you weren't all married up with Ditzy Doo, you would'a totally been down for another threeway."
The elevator closed.
"To keep it a hunnid with you, I'm not doin' so hot on that."
"Really? Is Ditzy not doing it?"
"No it's...it's complicated."
"Why is it always complicated with you?"
"I don't know, okay!? I fuckin, I fuckin' overthink things, and I make mistakes and I feel like no matter what I do, I'm makin' the wrong choice! And Ditzy is great. She's great! And just because she's havin' a hard time fitting me in, and I'm havin' a hard time gettin' off, I'm fuckin getting all quiet on her when I KNOW she just wants me to be honest, but I don't want to hurt her feelin's, so I just shut up instead, and it's only been a little bit, it's only been a little bit since we started dating and I feel like I'm fuckin' it all up already! I don't know why it's always gotta be complicated with me! It just is, and now there's all this magic and shit and I just want things to slow down and be simple! I need to just cut loose and relax, but I can't and I feel like I'm goin' crazy, Scoots!" 
By the end of the rant, Buck was nearly screaming. He turned and saw Scoots cringing away from him.
"Look, I'm sorry, Scoots. I'm supposed to be relaxing and enjoying this new relationship with Ditzy, and I'm screwing it up, and I wasn't tryin' to take it out on you. I'm sorry. I'm scared that I'm just gonna go walk into Sunbursts' suite and screw up even more."
"Hug me. Gimmie a hug, Buck." Scoots held her arms out.
Buck didn't hesitate. Just like when he held Scoots back at Sugar Cube Corner, she jumped up and wrapped her arms and legs around him. He felt the tension leave him.
"You give really good hugs, Scoots."
"Learned it from you, bro."
The elevator doors opened.
"It's still really weird that you call me that when I've been inside you, Scoots."
"Really? I think it's kinda hot."
Buck set Scoots down, but as they headed to Sunburst's door, she held his hand. 
That small act of empathy made Buck feel stronger by tenfold, which he guessed meant that he and Scoots were really becoming friends.
"I mean, to be fair, if I was single and this hard up, I would'a fucked the purple outta your hair if you asked."
"Awww! Thanks!"
"Don't fuckin' tell Ditzy I said that."
"Hey, knock knock, it's the boner squad!" Scoots shouted, banging on Sunbursts' door.
The door creaked. 
"Uh...hey! You guys are early!" Sunburst said.
"Hey Sunburst, its hot as balls out! Can we slum it up in there until magic school?"
"We brought ice cream!"
"...Is it Mint Chocolate?" Sunburst's eyes narrowed.
"No, you tasteless fuck! Let us in!" Buck grabbed the tub of ice cream from Scoots and shoved it in Sunburst's hands before pushing past him.
"Ooh, someone's in a mood." Sunburst smiled.
"Shut the fuck up, Sunburst." Buck chuckled, turned, and hugged him. 
"I love you too, babe. Come on in! I haven't cleaned up yet, but if you give me a bit, we can get started relatively soon."

Sunburst's place, contrary to what Scoots had seen just the other night, was entirely intact. There wasn't a single piece of debris or broken glass. Instead of trash, the coffee table was covered with a loosely organized pile of paperwork, which Starlight Glimmer was silently going over; scribbling notes, crossing things out, adjusting diagrams, and the like. 
"Mornin', Starlight." Buck tried.
"It's 2:26." Starlight said, not looking up.
"Sweet as always. Are you gonna be the mean teacher today?" 
"I'm not mean, I'm just direct!"
"That don't answer my question."
"We're going to teach you together. Sunburst is more about the advanced theory, and I'm going to teach you the practical stuff."
"Okay, so you're like the gym coach, got it." Buck smiled.
"Sure, whatever." 
"But seriously, thanks for this. For all of it." Buck said, touching the stone dangling from his neck.
"Hm." Starlight nodded, and while it was fleeting, Buck caught a small smile at the corner of her mouth.
"Is there anything we can do to help set up?" Scoots said.
It wasn't much. A quick vacuum, a little organizing and removing the wreckage of Starlight and Sunbursts' previous late-night study session all went by in the blink of an eye, leaving Buck and Scoots to sit on the couch, notebooks open in front of a blackboard that Sunburst had wheeled out. 





"Here's the first thing you need to know. Magic can be explained with a simple equation." Starlight said, brandishing a piece of chalk.



"And you've lost me." Buck said.
"There's a ton of debate among those in the know about what magic actually is. It can't be viewed through a microscope, and trying to interpret it as data usually destroys whatever instrument picks it up. Some of us think it's a type of plasma, others think it's a mysterious 5th form of matter, some say it's a particle."
"I have a theory that magic is a type of photon, actually." Sunburst said.
"Right." Starlight smiled at him. "As you've probably guessed, we've had some contact with the other side, and from the materials we've been given, we have a rudimentary understanding of how magic is supposed to work. Magic is driven by a clarity of Intention and Driven by emotion. If one taps a Source of magic with Intention and throttles that intention with a pointed Emotion, they will manifest that source as what we call a spell. In other words; 'I over E plus S equals M'."
Buck immediately started scratching out Starlight's speech in note form, while Scoots sat back and balanced a pencil on her finger.
"This equation is at the heart of all spellcasting, so remember it! If you ever panic or get confused in casting a spell, just remember I over E plus S equals M!"
"I guarantee that I won't remember that." Buck said, his leg bouncing.
"Are you even paying attention?" Starlight said.
"Yeah, I'm takin' notes!"
"The human world doesn't have magic naturally. However, there have been strange events across history that we believe to be magical anamolies that originated in Equestria."
"Like Adagio was sayin' back at the Boardwalk." Buck interjected.
"...Right. When a substantial amount of arcane energy is expelled on one side, it can poke holes in reality that leads to the other side."
"Like at the Friendship Games!" Scoots said.
"Or the aquarium..." Buck mumbled.
"I think you know how this goes. Magic has a transfiguring property. It can have immediate effects on anything it touches, regardless of its state or matter, and because humans severely lack magic, they are especially vulnerable to this change. Sunburst?"
Sunburst went to the kitchen and came back with a tray. Atop it was a glass beaker with a tube sticking out of the neck, on a stand above a bunsen burner. 
"Let's say the water in this flask is your environment. That can mean the air around you, but it can also mean objects and other living things in your vicinity." Starlight continued. "And let's say that this packet of sugar is the host; a combination of your intent and emotion." Sunburst poured a few spoons of sugar into the water.  "Now, what happens when we add powdered drink mix?"
Sunburst poured some red-colored powder into the beaker.
"Uh...you stain your tongue red." Buck said.
"You get diabetes!" Scoots chimed.
"No." Starlight frowned.
"Well, in a way that's right!" Sunburst added. He dipped a long glass wand into the water and swirled it, creating a mixture.
"When you introduce the magic--the drink mix--to the environment, and mix it--direct contact with a spell source-- the magic changes the environment and combines with the host to create something new. The potency of this solution is dependant on the quantity of the elements inside."
"Huh?" Buck said.
"Oh, I get it!" Scoots said, raising her hand. Starlight smiled and pointed at her. "If you put too much mix in, you get a sludgy mess, and if you put in too much sugar, you get a drink that's way too sweet!"
"Exactly! If your end goal is a nice, refreshing glass to sip on a summer day, you know that a balance of the ingriedients is key." Sunburst said, beaming.
"Different types of powder have different 'flavors' as you can imagine, and you choose the form or container that they are served in. That is spellcasting."
"...so what do you do when you have too much mix? How do you separate it?" Buck asked.
"That's just it. Normally you don't. Once you have your mixture, all there is to do is use it up. That's why getting it right is critical." Starlight said.
"You can't be serious."
"Well...if you apply certain stimuli, you can separate the components somewhat." Sunburst turned on the bunsen burner, and after a bit of boiling, the water evaporated. What remained was a red residue in the bottom of the beaker.
"While the magical effects on your environment can be negated, if you've interacted with magic, it can have long term effects on you. Some of the solution is removed, but the powder and the sugar are still mixed together."
"But then how does that help me?" Buck said.
"That stone around your neck is like a cork that stops the drink mix from entering the water. But the problem with you, Buck, is that the mix comes from inside you. It keeps building and building, mixing with the sugar so that whenever even a bit comes out, it turns the water around you sludgy and over-sweet." Starlight said. 
"So what do I do?"
"We don't know. We figure if you get educated about magic, we could work towards figuring it out." Sunburst said.
"So you guys don't have any plan besides putting a lid on my magic!? What the fuck am I supposed to do!?"
"Calm down. That's what we're trying to figure out!" Starlight said.
"Whaddaya mean calm down!? I'm over here ruining a block party or a bar mitzvah or some shit with shitty kool-aid because I can't control my portioning, and you want me to calm down!?" Buck said. Scoots suddenly felt the air around Buck warm-up, like a torch had been lit, but it stopped immediately.
"At least you have portions to add!" Starlight shouted.
"Okay, okay, let's simmer down, now..." Sunburst said, patting Starlight's shoulder.
The beaker began to shake.
"Buck, calm down!" Starlight said.
"It's not me, I've got the stone on!" Buck said.
"If you were worried about overflowing, all you had to do was call."
The mixture in the beaker came to life, swirling like a miniature tornado. Buck squinted and watched as the red dust sifted up and out of the beaker, turning into a little pile of drink mix in a yellow palm.
His heart quickened. It wasn't that he'd forgotten what it was like, he had simply gotten used to another set of eyes on him. Two familiar vicious purple whirlpools stared back at him, daring him to dive in. 
"As for long-term solutions, well, you might need an expert on Equestrian magic."
Adagio twirled her finger. The drink mix shifted and hardened into a small, blooming rose. She tilted her hand and blew into her palm. The powder dispersed into a sparkling red cloud.
"If only you happened to know one." Adagio smirked past Sunburst, Starlight, and Scootaloo, straight at Buck.




> ((Explicit)) Chapter 26 - Mona Lisa (Nat King Cole)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buck supposed if he were a teenager, this situation would be ideal. 
He had turned out to have secret magical powers, and they were undefinably potent. He was going to learn to harness those powers for self-defense, and his best friend would help to teach him. On top of that, the girl he had mostly accidentally masturbated to the previous night was now standing across from him, carrying a smile that implied a whole lot of things.
On paper, that sounds ideal, but pressing concerns both old and new bloomed in Buck's mind as Adagio took a seat next to him on Sunburst's couch. For instance, how was he going to get through the day without causing a disaster?
Starlight looked like she was about to scream, but Sunburst had reacted quickly, whispering in her ear, and the two had excused themselves to discuss the situation. 
Adagio shifted in her spot next to Buck, and her smile disappeared. A cold, protective fury rose in her gaze.
"I can't taste you, Buck. What have they done?" 
"Oh, that's...they gave me this. It's a changeling stone." Buck reached into the front of his shirt and held the artifact up. Adagio sniffed at the stone like it was a particularly offensive cologne.
"So their short term solution was to put a gag on your magic. Effective, if a bit barbaric." Adagio's tone was icy and clinical. "How are you feeling? Has the stone affected your mood at all?"
"You care?" Buck raised an eyebrow. Adagio moved as if she would stroke his cheek, but then her hand dropped back into her lap.
"Of course I care, Buck." 
"Well, I'm fine."
"You're lying."
"'scuse me?"
"You're lying to me."
"Why do you think that?"
"Because, in the time I've known you, you have never once said the word 'fine' and meant it." Adagio said with a wry smile. Buck could see Scoots start to fidget behind Adagio. He gave her a quick frown that he hoped she interpreted as a message to keep her mouth shut. 
"And how are you doin'?"
"Fine, Buck. Just fine." Adagio's smile turned a bit sharp.
"Absolutely not!" Starlight's voice rose from behind the door of Sunburst's bedroom. It was followed by some placating shushing noises and a quiet but tense negotiation. 
Sunburst was doing his best, and that set Buck at ease. If Sunburst was alright with Adagio showing up, that had to count for something.
"Did you come here to start shit again?" Buck said.
"No, Buck. I came to make sure that you were receiving a proper education. Is that going to be a problem for you?" Adagio said, shoulders square.
"Depends on how you wanna act. I don't want tonight to end in tears."
"Both of us know that I'm the most qualified to lecture on this subject." Her eyes were filled with not seduction but determination. "Honestly, this should be my class, but I understand choosing to come here, considering the circumstances."
"So you won't cause any trouble, then?"
"If you ask; I'll leave." Adagio said.
"Can I have you word on that?" Buck offered a hand, which Adagio stared at for a second.
"Yes. I'm going to help you, Buck." The handshake was curt and businesslike. Adagio grimaced. 
Before, just touching Buck's hand could send a little shock through her, helping her to gauge his mood. Now, there was nothing but a flatline of emotions. She had never noticed how well Buck could hide them. 
"No, you won't be doing anything, because I won't let you sit there and mess around with these two while they try to learn about magic!" Starlight stomped out of the study.
"Ah, of course. Should I assume you still think of me as a menace, despite my contributions to your cause?" Adagio smiled. 
"Starlight, she could be a huge asset to us. Could you please just give her a chance?"
"Sunburst, you know full well that she's only ever helped us for her own self-interest!"
"Not entirely," Adagio interjected, checking her nails. "I fully intend to help our two most promising young minds to reach their magic potential. I even came with a bargain for you."
"Whatever you're selling, we aren't interested!"
"Starlight, be reasonable!" Sunburst said.
"Oh, I'm being reasonable. It's reasonable to suspect that Adagio just wants to sit around, leeching off whatever spare energies happen to leak off our practice. She's scavenging!" Starlight spat.
Buck frowned over at Adagio, whose smile turned up in faux ditziness.
"Why, Starlight, what an excellent idea! That's exactly the sort of deal I hoped to make today. In exchange for whatever energy Buck happens to give off, I'd like to attend these sessions and offer my own knowledge!"
"Why, you-"
"And, I'll even throw in this little chestnut as a bonus." Adagio reached into her purse and produced a book bound in a dark leather of dubious origin. It had some old ponish runes written on the front, but Buck didn't need to read them to know what they said.
"Is that...?" Buck started.
"Stygian's Book of Spells. That's right. I'm willing to offer access to a repository of magical knowledge unlike any that your superiors can possibly provide."
Sunburst raised a finger, but Starlight shushed him.
"And all you have to do is let me contribute to your back alley magic lesson," Adagio said. Sunburst was nearly salivating at the thought of opening the book.
"But it has to be in old ponish! How would we even read it?" Starlight said.
"Oh please, Old Ponish is not nearly as idiotic as english. It's syllabric, like, oh...katakana. Sunburst, you're a fan of lore; I'm sure with proper study you could pick it up quickly." Adagio said. Starlight glared at her, but Sunburst stroked his goatee.
"I learned Gaelic in school. And Klingon. This shouldn't be too hard." 
"Hah! Nerd!" Scoots blurted. She took a moment to read the room, then tried to shrink into the couch.
"Come on, Starlight. Let her at least hang out. She's got a lot to offer, and she's makin' a good point." Buck said.
"She's just trying to use you again, Buck." Starlight said.
"I know! I know, alright, this is just about my magic--this is all about my magic, but listen! Just wearin' the stone isn't good enough, is it? Just shuttin' it off isn't gonna cut it. I need to learn how my magic works, and Adagio knows it better than anyone. As long as nobody gets hurt, I don't mind letting her take whatever runs off."
"So she can gain more power!?"
"So she won't go hungry." Buck placed a hand on Adagio's shoulder. She couldn't taste him, but she could feel the look of concern on his face, though she refused to look at him.
"If I were you, I would get my hands on every advantage I could. You're free to call me names if you like, but you obviously need me. Is your pride really worth the safety of everyone here?" Adagio said. For a moment, the fierceness in Adagio's eyes was reflected in Starlight's. 
"Fine. But Buck, if she acts up, it's on your head."
"What? What am I, her keeper?"
"Your power is what she wants, so if she decides to go rogue, you're the only one in a position to deny her that power. It's on you." Starlight said. Adagio sneered.
"Fine, fuck, whatever! Can we get back into the magic lessons? Ditzy's doin' stew again tonight, and I don't wanna eat it cold." Buck said, sitting back. Adagio felt a bit colder without the touch of his hand.
Starlight sighed.
"Now that you hopefully have an understanding of the fundamental theory of magic, we can get a bit more complicated." 
The chalkboard was flipped over, revealing a chart with a whole lot of symbols throughout it. Adagio discerned its meaning at a glance, but Buck squinted at it and frowned.



"Mother of fuck." Buck grumbled.
"What the heck is all that?" Scoots said.
"It's a graph!" Sunburst chimed in. He pointed a ruler at the chalkboard. "Magic phenomenon has been interpreted into many different categories and schools of thought."
"Thus creating an endless stream of academic pedantry among arcane scholars." Adagio rolled her eyes.
"This is a simplified version of the Arcane Type Chart that is taught in Equestria. As I understand it, common core magic fundamentals describes four essential categories that encompass all spellcasting. They make up the axes of this graph. The X-Axis represents Order here on the left and Chaos on the right." Sunburst said.
"Order is a spell type categorized by a singular force of will. Order spells are about assuming direct control over forces, and strengthened by acts of loyalty and preservation." Starlight continued. Adagio snorted quietly.
"Obedience. Order spells are strengthened by obedience. That is why the signature users of order magic are alicorns." Adagio said.
"Chaos magic is characterized by a variety of intentions clashing together. Chaos spells revolve around drastic changes to the structure of things. It's strengthened by emotional disharmony and bursts of inspiration." Sunburst finished.
"Okay, slow down, so down..." Buck said, writing frantically. 
"What's on the Y-Axis?" Scoots said.
"Well, at the top, you have Ethereal magic. This is magic relating to things that can't be touched, like gases, atmospheric forces. Note, the further up you go on the axis, the more esoteric the spells become. You go from wind and temperature to vaguer concepts like the mind and soul." Sunburst said. "At the bottom, there's Telluric forces, which have to do with physical matter, like earthen materials and living things."
"That's pretty vague." Buck said.
"Right, it is. That's because no one spell can be fit perfectly into any category. Instead, we chart them based on the way they behave when unleashed. Arcana spells; that's spells that involve manipulating pure magical energy, are in the Order/Ethereal quadrant, while Transformation spells fall into the Chaos/Telluric quadrant because they involve a drastic  paradigm shift of an object's core components."
"Is that what you do with water, 'dagio?"
"No, Buck. What I do is Transmutation. It's a basic restructuring and manipulation of a physical substance. That's Order/Telluric."
"How's that different from Transformation?"
"Transformation is turning one thing into something else. Though they are both close to the Y-axis, sort of like two sides of the same coin." Starlight said.
"Fuckin' hell. Okay, so what the fuck kind of magic made that shoggoth that we fought?"
"...we're not exactly sure," Sunburst said carefully. "Even after studying the tentacle Adagio gave us, we couldn't figure out the exact signature."
"Oh, call a spade a spade, Sunburst. Its signature kept changing rapidly and it turned a non-magical animal into a rampaging monster. That's chaos magic. Dark magic, in other words." Starlight said gravely.
Buck scratched his head and frowned.
"Ooh, Dark Magic! That was a popular term back in my day! Teachers and allumni waggling their hooves going; 'Don't you dare tap into alternative magic sources! Then you might rival a unicorn's natural reserves, and we don't want to upset the status quo, now do we?'" Adagio mocked.
"Here we go." Starlight rolled her eyes.
"Indulge me. Before you go about demonizing Buck's magic, let me offer an alternative outlook." Adagio rose, dropping Buck a little smile. She pointed at the bottom right quadrant. "While some philosophers--" Adagio looked pointedly at Starlight. "--enjoy placing moral definitions on different types of magic; I want it to be clear that magic has no will of its own. No concept of good and evil, light and dark. Some posit that Chaos magic is an intrinsically evil force due to the exploits of a certain draconequus throughout history, but Chaos and Telluric forces are the fundament of all life. They are the force of creation. Likewise, ponies tend to place a moral high ground on the Order/Ethereal quadrant, but every power-hungry unicorn in history has used an arcane bolt to menace someone, and far more dastardly individuals have used enchantment spells for dark ends.
"Speaking from experience?" Starlight hissed.
Adagio smirked. "The point is, Dark and Light spells are not Good and Evil. It's like comparing a diurnal creature to a nocturnal one. Is an owl more wicked than a bluejay for staying up late?"
"...no. It's just different." Buck said.
"And yet owls are often perceived as dark omens for calling out in the night and having big, bright eyes. Sound familiar, Buck?" Adagio said.
"I guess that's what you get when the world is run by morning people." Buck laughed. 
"Precisely." Adagio returned to her sitting position and noticed Buck looking just a bit less stressed.
"So, so, what's with all those symbols? Are those spells?" Scoots said.
"No, those are magical creatures. Magic is a natural element of Equestria, like oxygen or water. Every living creature in Equestria has some modicum of magic in them. Obviously, some more than others. Each type of magical creature has a signature, a spell type that can place them somewhere on this chart. Creatures of the same species tend to have the same signature. For instance, Diamond Dogs are known for creating the Geomancy school of magic, and within that category, an individual is likely to specialize in transmuting one or two specific minerals. Geomancy falls under the Order/Telluric quadrant. On the other side, there's dragons. Many of their spells tend to be destructive and volatile, with an emphasis on fire. That puts them in the Chaos/Telluric quadrant." Sunburst said. "A creature's placement on the chart determines their magic's outer limits as well. If you know your magical creatures you might see a trend. The closer a creature is to the axes of the chart, the more potent their power theoretically is. However, creatures further away from the axes tend to have a wider range of spells at their command, as their affinity to their primary type is weaker."
"So, where do ponies fit in?" Buck said.
"Ponies tend to hover right around the center. Pegasi are in the Ethereal/Chaos quadrant, Earth ponies are in the Order/Telluric quadrant, and Unicorns are right in the direct center of the chart as the most magically diverse of all creatures currently known." Starlight said.
"Yes, and they never shut up about it," Adagio said. 
"But wait, if they're in the center, does that mean they're super strong, but they aren't very flexible?" Scoots said.
"Exactly. The more mana reserves a creature has, the more they naturally lean toward one type of spell. This is componded by another unique quality; each individual is said to have exactly one magical aptitude, described by what they call a cutie mark. Their 'special talent' so to speak." Starlight said. 
"Oh, I know this one. Cutie Marks are like a symbol that represents the one thing that a pony is good at. In Ogres and Oubliettes, that usually means skill training." Buck said.
"But it's much more than that! Cutie marks are still largely a mystery to equestrian scholars! The exact process that causes them to manifest is unclear, but it has something to do with self-actualization! Not just that, but cutie marks don't just represent a singular ability; some of them represent domains of power!" Sunburst rambled excitedly.
"What do you mean?" Buck said.
"Let's say your cutie mark is...a bobby pin. That could mean that pony is good at, I don't know, piercing things." Sunburst said.
"Sounds terrifying, but sure."
"Well, a bobby pin doesn't just stab things, does it? It's used to hold things together when there's a rift. If you accentuate that idea with magic, you could potentially end up with a pony that can hold together or pierce through all sorts of substances or other magics! Imagine the possibilities!"
"Yes, it's said that the more general a cutie mark is, the more possibilities it can contain. A cutie mark of a lightning bolt usually means elemental affinity with electricity, but a cutie mark of a party hat could place the domain of general festivities at your command. That could mean influence over party favors, balloons, etcetera. As you can imagine, a large swathe of pony academia is centered around interpreting cutie marks, much to the chagrin of other magically potent creatures that don't have a convenient signpost to their arcane aptitude. It is the easiest way to identify what an individual spellcaster is capable of." Adagio said.
"Sounds vague." Buck said.
"Oh, it's another source of constant debate. Some theorize that all creatures have a cutie mark, but only ponies display them externally. Either way, understanding a cutie mark is a traditional method of identifying the properties of one's magic."
"Which is what we're going to work on today!" Sunburst said. "Identifying your magic! You two are humans, so you obviously don't have cutie marks, but if you manifest a magical aura, we should be able to determine where it fits on the chart, and once we do, we'll have a great place to start your training."
"Okay, how do we do that?" Buck said.
"You use the equation." Starlight said.
"Okay, but how do you do it, though?" Buck repeated.
"I already explained it. You come into contact with a spell source, you decide what you want to do with it, then you push it with a degree of emotional clarity. It's not rocket science."
"No, it's fucking magic! It just feels like you're leaving out a lot of mental gymnastics and prep!"
"Calm down. It's not that hard. You've literally done it accidentally."
"Well, I don't wanna do it accidentally in here." Buck huffed. 
"It might be easier to grasp if you have an example. Sunburst?" 
Sunburst stood before the couch and brandished a pebble of quartz. 
"Note, he's using quartz crystal as a spell source. Quartz is a natural conductor for arcane energy, and typically has a tiny bit of power in it."
"Then how do you use it to shoot those big laser beams, and stuff?" Scoots said.
"Practice. And a lot of calculations and study. I've spent a lot of time learning to optimize spells I draw from components. In this line of work, You have to make a lot with a little." 
"Relatable." Buck said.
"Just firing up a basic cantrip like this can take a lot of concentration. It's still hard for me." Sunburst said.
He closed his eyes and mumbled under his breath. A swishing tinkle sound preceded a pale yellow glow. The quartz disintegrated into dust, but a sparkling mote of yellow light glimmered just above Sunbursts' palm.
While Scoots and Buck stared in awe, Adagio's eyes slipped down to the table covered in paperwork and notes. There was a small box of similar quartz crystals, on the side of which was a logo that read Everfree Quarry.
"Why's he whispering?" Scoots said.
"Sunburst finds it easier to invocate the spell instead of visualizing it. It's just how he processes things." Starlight explained.
The light flickered, then fizzled out. Sunburst scratched his head.
"Oof. Well, there you are! That's magic, basically. Who wants to try first?"
"Not it." Buck said. 
"Pick me, pick me!" Scoots said, raising her hand.
"Looks like it's you by default, Scoots." Sunburst smiled. "Take this piece of quartz. It's the most basic component we can get our hands on." Sunburst passed a pebble to Scoots. She rolled it around in her hand, then thrust her hand out with a dramatic flourish.
"Hah!" Scouts shouted. 
Buck cringed, but instead of taking a ki blast to the face, he looked at Scoots and saw...nothing. Scoots tried doing it with a fist, then a thumbs up, then a pointing finger, looking increasingly ridiculous as she went on. 
"Aww..." 
"Just yelling isn't going to work. You need to focus." Starlight said.
"But focus on what? I don't get it!"
"The aura. Imagine a glowing aura." Starlight took a piece of quartz and demonstrated. Unlike Sunburst, she didn't have to focus on it. A cyan glow enveloped her pointer finger.
"But I've never seen my aura! How am I supposed to imagine it!?"
"This would be easier if we knew your magical species..." Sunburst said.
"It's not an exact science; it's...well, once I got my hands on a spell source, it was easy for me." Starlight said.
"Well, of course it was. You are obviously the reflection of a unicorn." Adagio said. Everyone stared at her, all at once.
"...how do you know that?"
"Well, it took me a bit to figure it out, since unlike everyone else here, you are entirely bereft of even a trace of magic. By all accounts, you taste like a dead body without the rot." 
Starlight's eye twitched.
"'dagio, come on," Buck said automatically, earning a quick smirk from Adagio.
"You, Starlight Glimmer, have a tunnel-visioned perspective. Everything in the world, you see under the tip of your horn. You want to change things, take control, make the world better. And like a sensible person, you believe magic is the way to make that happen." Adagio continued.
"Yes." Starlight said.
"You have all the hallmarks of a unicorn; power-hungry, objective-driven, easily frustrated by things you can't use your "towering intellect" to solve like an equation. The way you're perceived, the society you live in, the people around you; if you had magic, you would fix it all with a wave of the horn-er, hand."
"Yes." Starlight said through gritted teeth.
"Because you understand the nature of power. At least a little bit. That is a trait that all unicorns share. And before you get short with me, I don't mean to imply that's a bad thing. It's one of their few redeeming qualities, and--lucky you!--you have that quality without having to be a unicorn. Sunburst has it as well, but it's softer and gentler. Warm, in other words." Adagio turned to smile at Sunburst, who gently took Starlight's hand. 
"And how do you know Sunburst is a unicorn?" Starlight said, yanking her hand away from Sunburst and crossing her arms.
"He tastes like one." Adagio shrugged. "He has all the qualities of one, with perhaps a bit of pegasus mixed in. A go-getter, but he recognizes the value of discretion."
"This is starting to sound like horoscopes." Scoots said.
"Ooh! Adagio is totally a Scorpio!" Buck said. "And, uh, Starlight, you're...a virgo?"
"Actually, yes. I am."
"All magical species have a distinctive signature, as you've said. I just happen to have a talent for sniffing them out." Adagio said.
"Is your cutie mark a nose?" Scoots said. Buck snorted.
"No, Little Birdie. When I took pony form, my cutie mark was a gold diamond over a treble clef." Adagio said.
"A what?" Scoots said.
"A musical symbol that represents notes over middle C."
"A what?"
"It's the key of G4." Buck said.
"G4? Like generation four?"
"I like to think that mark represents my ability to rise above any circumstance and excel. Or it could denote my magnificent singing voice, or perhaps-"
"Can we please focus!?" Starlight barked.
"Very well. The point is, I can detect magical auras, even identify their flavor. Coupled with my skills of deduction and perceptiveness, it gives me a distinct advantage in any situation involving magic."
"Is that...have you been reading our emotions the entire time!?" Starlight exploded. Adagio's grin turned devilish.
"Yes, I can detect your every impulse, Starlight Glimmer."
"Oh yeah? How about you detect THIS impulse!" Starlight said. Sunburst grabbed her hand before she could raise a middle finger.
"'dagio, cut it out. We're all in this together, right?" Buck said. Adagio flashed him another smile. 
"He's right, of course. I'll offer this tidbit as a peace offering. Little Birdie?" Adagio said, strolling over to Scoots. She trailed a finger through Scoots' hair and relished the shudder that shook the small woman.
"Y-Yeah?"
"You taste like light steps and a quickly beating heart. You taste like brashness and avoidance. Like a pair of fluttering wings. There's a reason I call you Little Birdie, and it's not simply your loose lips." Adagio purred. 
Through the sudden blush, Scoot's eyes shot open, and a current of excitement ran through her.
"Am I a batpony!?"
"You're a pegasus." Adagio groaned. "Pegasi are the ponies I least despise, if only because they tend to smartly flee when they see me coming." She closed Scoot's fingers around her piece of quartz and lifted her hand. "Is that exciting to you?"
Scoots nodded quickly.
"Now, let me think...I've been watching you, Little Birdie. You're a sprinter. You don't think in images alone, do you? You think in terms of space. As in, how quickly can you reach this point? How far is the target? Am I right in assuming that?"
"Y-Yeah...when Rainbow Dash trained me, she taught me to think about the finish line and how to get there!" Scoots squeaked. Adagio frowned at the name drop.
"I see. In that case, don't worry over the aura. Close your eyes. Now, think about a hummingbird's wings...how it hovers and flits between flowers, how it dashes to and fro."
"Okay..."
"Now...what lies beneath its wings?"
"...the wind?" 
The curtains in the room unsettled just the slightest bit. Scoot's hair began to shift as if tossed by a breeze. 
"Is it working?" Scoots said. Adagio took a few steps back as the papers on the coffee table were unsettled.
"Hold on. You're not exactly stable yet." Starlight stepped around Scoots, marking the hardwood floor with a piece of chalk. She worked quickly, drawing an ornate circle filled with runes around Scoot's feet.
"What are you doin'?" Buck said.
"I'm putting down a spell circle. This acts as a matrix to help give the spell order and focus. These formulas are ususally reserved for big, complicated spells, but in this case, it will take some of the burden off this cantrip." Starlight mumbled a few fast and dirty calculations, then finished the circle with a pair of small wings between Scoots' feet.
"You've been conjugating arcane calculations in the middle of the battlefield?" Adagio said.
"Impressive, isn't it?" Sunburst beamed. 
"Focus, Scootaloo. Imagine the power gathering. The wind beneath your wings, right in the palm of your hand."
A swirling mass of purple fog whistled into existence just above Scoots' palm. The quartz disintegrated. 
"Now, open your eyes."
"Ohmigoshohmigoshohmigosh! I did it! Look you guys, I did it!" Scoots flapped an arm, her eyes full of stars and wonder at the tiny purple zephyr in her hands. In an instant, the wind rose, and Scoots' whole body darted backward like an arrow. Luckily, Starlight moved to intercept and caught her by the shoulders.
"Careful! Ethereal magic like that can be unpredictable!"
"Right, right, right...sorry." Scoots deflated.
Starlight looked askance and saw Sunburst gesturing.
"But that was a good job! Even I didn't get it right on the first try, and neither did Sunburst!" Starlight smiled.
"Really!?"
"Really. It looks like your power is small, a bit smaller than Sunbursts', but it's enough to put some oomph behind your spellcasting. Now that we know you're a pegasus, we've got a strong base of spells we can consider for you, though the components won't come cheap." Starlight said.
"So I'm a spellcaster!?"
"Yes." Starlight said.
"YES!" Scoots turned and hugged Starlight tight, jumping up and down. Starlight looked at Sunburst, Buck, even Adagio, with panic in her eyes.
"Okay, Scoots, okay, maybe give her a little space, huh?" Buck said.
"Huh? Oh, uh, sorry. Sorry!" Scoots sheepishly wandered back to the couch, blushing. Adagio gave her a polite round of applause.
"Excellent work, Little Birdie. I'm sure you'll be soaring the skies in no time." Adagio said. 
Scoots squeed and vibrated in her seat, her feet tapping rapidly at the ground.
"Alright, that went well!" Sunburst said, writing down notes. "Buck, you're up next."
All eyes turned to Buck, who had the expression of a man being invited to the gallows. 
"Uh...you sure about that? I mean, Scoots nearly got launched from just a tiny bit, and I'm like...'dagio, what am I like?"
"Like a geyser inside of a fire hose, Buck."
"Yeah. That. Can we all just acknowledge that I don't want to get any of you killed?" Buck spoke quickly, almost comically, but the look in his eyes was a terror that Adagio found familiar and a bit nostalgic.
"We have safeguards in place. There's a ward around this room that will prevent any of the magic from escaping." Starlight said.
"So instead of blowing out the windows, we'll just hotbox my magic and get reduced to chunky salsa. Great." 
"If it gets out of hand, all we have to do is touch you with the changeling stone. It'll be fine." Sunburst said.
"I just...I'm really afraid of losing control. Even a tiny slip-up could cause some serious damage. What if I accidentally tear open a rift again?" 
"Then we'll seal it up. We're prepared for that." Starlight said. "The most important thing is that you calm down."
"Telling someone to calm down has literally never calmed anyone down!" Buck snapped.
"Okay, okay. Buck? Breathe. Will you sit with me?" Sunburst soothed. Buck nodded and sat down in the middle of the floor.
"I know this is scary. Your body is doing something new and unexpected, and we don't completely understand it. Think of it like puberty."
"But I was a late bloomer!"
"Hm. Knew it." Adagio smiled triumphantly.
"I know, brother, I know. But I need you to trust us on this. We're going to figure this out. But first, we need to get an actual look at your aura. This is going to be challenging. You need a clarity of intent and a strong emotion. Can you do that?"
"I don't know, man. I don't know. What do you mean by clarity of intent?"
"Clear your mind, Buck." Starlight said.
"That's literally the thing I'm worst at in the world!"
"Okay, let's just focus on relaxing. Deep breaths, Buck. Let's take it slow." Sunburst said. "You're not in any danger. We're all here, watching out. If something goes wrong, we'll help. But we won't do anything until you're ready." 
"I'm ready. I'm ready, I can do this."
"That's right. You can. Now, take a deep breath. I'm going to take the necklace off."
Buck shut his eyes. Sunburst removed the necklace slowly, placing it carefully in Starlight's hand as if he were handling a radioactive isotope. To everyone's surprise, Buck did not spontaneously combust. Adagio was hit with a wave of angst, needling anxiety, and the taste of a shaken bottle of seltzer. She wondered if Ditzy had been torturing the poor man or if Buck had been torturing himself. 
In all likelihood, she reasoned, it was both.
"Okay. Not blowin' up. That's pretty cool." Buck's shoulders slumped, and he exhaled, slowly.
"Now, what do you see in your mind?"
"Oh, the usual worries. And some things I don't want to mention. Uh, a short story idea I've been kicking around and Virtual Insanity by Jamiroquai is playing on loop in the background."
"That's a bop." Scoots said, from where she was hiding behind the couch. 
"I've also got a one-page review of The Shape of Water. Spoiler alert, it's rad."
"Haha! You would say that!" Scoots laughed.
"What's The Shape of Water?" Adagio said.
"Your relationship with Buck, basically." Scoots chuckled.
"Shut up, Scoots!" Buck said. "Yo, did you know the dude that made that is workin' on a stop motion Pinnochio movie over in Portland right now?"	
"Really?"
"Yeah, it's gonna be a musical."
"That sounds really interesting!" Sunburst said.
"You need to clear your mind of distractions if you want to cast spells, Buck." Starlight snapped. Adagio glared at her for a split second, then returned to her neutral countenance.
"Yeah, that ain't happenin', chief. Can't control that." Buck said. Starlight threw her hands up.
"Don't worry about that. What would you say is the strongest emotion you're feeling right now, Buck?" Sunburst said.
"Anxiety. Also peckish, for ice cream."
"Okay. You won't need a spell source, since you are one. In your head, do you think you can get a hand around anxiety?"
"That sounds like a therapy question. Which reminds me, I gotta call Silver Spoon." Buck said, pulling out his phone. 
"You know Silver Spoon!? She still hasn't paid me back for that bet she lost!" Scoots also pulled out her phone.
Adagio smiled as she tasted Starlight seething.
"You guys made a bet?"
"She took me on at ping pong, and then got salty after she lost. I thought she started a rumor about me but turns out it was Pip."
"Who? Nevermind. What was the rumor?"
"He said I was gay."
"Scoots. You are gay."
"No, I'm bi, it's totally different!"
"...is it?"
"Well, it's a spectrum." Sunburst offered. 
"That's true. That's true. Damn, man, I hope Pinocchio is as imaginative as Hellboy 2 was. One'a my favorites. You seen that one, 'dagio?" 
"No, I haven't. What's Hellboy, Buck?"
"Yoooo! Okay, so these scientists back during World War 2--"
"BUCK! FOCUS!" Starlight accentuated her barking retort with a clap.
"Oh, shit that's right. We were gonna do magic."
"Yes! We were! That's why you're sitting on the floor!"
"...Do y'all wanna take a break and watch Hellboy?" Buck said, scratching his head. 
"What in the world is going on here? Weren't you just freaking out!?"
"Yeah, but I think got a little lost somewhere in the anxiety spiral and swung back around to chill. Sometimes it be like that." Buck shrugged.
"Why can't you just focus on spellcasting like you focused on Adagio's ass for three months!?" Starlight shouted.
"I don't control the hyperfixation! And lemmie tell ya, sister, if you were into girls, you'd fixate on that ass, too! Tell 'em, Scoots."
"I mean, it's a really nice butt."
"Thanks Scoots."
"Ugh, this is impossible!" Starlight said.
"I think it's cute," Adagio said.
"You're not helping!" Starlight snarled.
"Do you want me to?"
"NO! Buck, I'm begging you. Please just try to manifest your aura. We all know you can do it. Just give it a go."
Buck shut his eyes and wiggled his fingers. Nothing.
"Nope, sorry. Now there's nothin' comin' out."
"Try harder!"
He tried again, but all Buck managed to produce was a little fart noise.
"Nope, no magic. Just poop." 
Starlight looked like she was ready to throttle Buck, but Sunburst stepped between them.
"Okay, tensions are high. I think Buck might have the right idea. Maybe we should take a break."
"This is an important training session, and I'm not letting it turn into a movie night!" Starlight said.
"Well, I mean, look, we brought ice cream, and Sunburst has Netflix. We could watch whatever, man." Buck said. Adagio chuckled. Starlight pulled her beanie over her face and let out a muffled scream.
Scoots replied to a text.
"Silver Spoon says the offer is still up for therapy. Free session to start!"
"Oh shit, that's right, I was about to text her!"
"THAT'S IT! I'M TAKING A WALK!" Starlight stomped over to the kitchen, then out the door with the tub of ice cream in one hand and a metal scoop in the other. The door slammed, and the residents looked at each other uneasily. All save for Adagio, who was covering an impish smile with her hand.
"...I should go make sure she's okay." Sunburst said.
"Yeah...I'm really ballsin' this up, aren't I?" Buck said. Sunburst smiled and patted his head.
"We just need to take some time and help you through this. Magic is a little different for everyone, and you're obviously a special case. Don't beat yourself up, alright?"
"Thanks, brother. Tell her to save us some ice cream, huh?"
"Sure." There was a hug, and then Sunburst was out. Despite the advice, Buck slumped back down to the floor and stared at the ceiling.
"This's high school all over again," Buck mumbled.
"...Little Birdie? Could you excuse us for a moment? I'd like a private chat with Buck."
"Oh, uh...are you okay with that, Buck?"
"Sure. She's on the level today." Buck said, not looking over.
"Well, alright. I'm gonna...go see if Sunburst needs some backup!" Scoots scampered away.




As it turned out, Sunburst did not need any backup. He leaned on the wall a few paces down from the door to his suite and gave Scoots a little nod as she caught up. Starlight Glimmer was pacing back and forth inside a dome of shimmering cyan energy. She was gesticulating her way through a rant, but no sound was coming out.
"What's going on here?" Scoots said, finally.
"Zone of Silence. An underrated spell that does what it sounds like."
"...is she going to be okay?"
"Starlight just needs to gather herself. Sometimes it takes a bit."
Starlight continued on with her silent tirade, occasionally scooping spoonfuls of ice cream into her mouth.
"...is she gonna share that?"
"I doubt it."




Adagio thought to placate Buck, then to seduce him, then to jab at him, and she knew that none of it would work. She could taste the weight of emotion pressing down on Buck, and it was nearly alien to her.
Instead of her usual strategies, Adagio decided to join Buck on the floor, lying next to him, hopefully at a comfortable distance.
"I don't understand how you feel, Buck. Can you please indulge me, and explain?" 
"What's to explain? I had an anxiety downswing, tumbled into a round of associative ping-pong, and drove away my teachers in the process. I didn't think I'd do good today, but I didn't think I'd screw it up so fast, either."
"You expected to fail?"	
"When you live in my world, you get used to it."
"That's a cruel perspective to place on yourself, Buck."
"After a while, you get used to bein' a screw-up." 
Chilling despair crept into Buck's words, lying just under the mountain of frustration he was carrying. Adagio shivered but refused to be beaten back.
"Buck, do you trust me?"
"That's a big question," Buck said, then sat in the silence that followed. 
Adagio waited patiently for his response.
"I know you're trouble, but I also know that you don't wanna do me no harm, 'cause you don't wanna lose my magic. I trust you to be yourself, I guess."
"Well, there's an informed opinion. Dashingly pragmatic, as well." Adagio smiled.
"Maybe I'm learning a little bit from you." Adagio could taste his smile. Part of her wanted to taste his lips right now, but she pushed it away.
"Would you like to learn some more?"
"Please. I'm rattlin' in the wind out here."
"Generalized advice and equations aren't going to get you anywhere. Your mind obviously doesn't work that way, nor does it react well to a high-pressure lecturing environment. You're an artist; your education happens in a studio and in the wild, not in a study hall. And putting that aside, I never liked that stuffy old equation. How can you boil things like emotions and intentions down into tidy little letters? The old scholars taught it that way because the equation allows a small mind to wrap around the concept. Magic is more complicated than that."
"Okay, so I'm not crazy, then."
"No, Buck. You're intimidated because you're imaginative. People with a linear mindset lean on the equation and spell circles to create matrixes for their spells, but your mind doesn't operate linearly. Your mind, as I understand it, works from the middle out, going in every direction at once. For someone powerful and creative, magic is full of possibilities, but if you don't learn to project it, you will never be able to interpret those possibilities into action. Until you learn to let go, you won't be able to conjure even the simplest of cantrips."
"But if I just let it fly, if I lose control, everyone's at risk! I feel like I'm the only thing stopping a volcano from erupting, and everyone is treating it like it's no big deal!"
"They were trying to make you feel comfortable. They know what's at risk, but they don't want to treat you like a walking explosion. You're lucky to be surrounded by people like that."
"That's why I don't want to put them in harm's way!"
"So, what, you'll just sit around letting them fight your battles instead? Will you bottle up your power until it explodes? Everyone here knows you aren't that stupid."
"Starlight thinks I'm a fuckin' idiot."
"And she's a narrow-minded twit. Why care what she thinks?"
"She's just tryin' to help, and so's Sunburst. Everyone's counting on me to get control of this, otherwise, I'll just be another monster they have to take down."
"It won't come to that, Buck."
"You don't know that."
"I do, because I won't let it. They mean well, but their methods don't work because they don't understand what triggers your magic. Not like I do. Every time your magic has flared up, it's been due to intimacy or extreme stress. Stress is a common instigator of magical mishaps, but intimacy is different. I've never seen intimacy act as a trigger for magic until now."
"...I'm not about to get 'intimate' with you, 'dagio."
"Yes, I'm very aware that you've chosen to wear a leash. Intimacy doesn't necessarily mean sexual contact, Buck. Intimacy just means closeness to another person. Let me help you."
"Okay, but what if you're wrong? What if I lose control and someone gets hurt? What if someone sees what I'm capable of, and then the people Sunburst and Starlight work for come for my head? What if I really do turn into a monster?"
"Oh."
"Oh?"
"I understand what the problem is."
"You do?"
"I do. Sit up, Buck. You're going to be fine."
Adagio rose into a cross-legged position, and after a moments' deliberation, Buck rose to face her.	 
It was an unexpected development, to be sure. Adagio was certain until now that Buck was a beautiful bauble she had found just past the shallows and brought to the surface. She understood now that this was false. Buck was something shining and golden that she tried to pluck from the sand, but it was stuck fast, entombed under layers of societal debris, stony traumas, and weighty repression. There was far more than a powerful trinket buried here. Adagio took a second to catch her breath, and she began to dig.
"Give me your hand." Adagio tasted a tentative trust as Buck offered his hand.
"Am I supposed to close my eyes?"
"Not yet. I want you to look in my eyes, Buck. Beyond this room, there's nothing. There is nothing but your eyes, and mine. No one to judge you, no one to condemn me. There is nothing but you and I, and magic."
"Okay..."
"Buck...since the moment I met you, you've been holding back your emotions. You are terrified of feeling things openly."
"Oh, hi pot, my name's kettle."
"Ah-ah. We're talking about you right now. Just now, I caught a glimpse of it. Here you are at the precipice of discovering your potential, and you are immediately flooded with anxieties about how it could go wrong. You defeat yourself before you even try. I can only imagine what you've experienced to make you so cynical."
"Ouch. Just dress me down, why don't ya?"
"I'd love to, Buck." Adagio smirked.
"Stop that."
"I need you to understand that whatever it is you feel in my presence, there's no reason to bury it. You can't hide your feelings from me, Buck, so don't try to. Just let them come. Embrace them."
"But no pressure." Buck's smile tasted like a sour grapefruit. Adagio's smugness matched it blow for blow.
"None, whatsover. I won't tolerate your reticence when it comes to magic."
"Fair enough."
"Now, close your eyes. Buck...what would you say is the emotion you feel the most keenly and frequently?"
"I don't think I can really narrow that down."
"You don't think you can? Or is it that you don't think you should?" Adagio traced her fingers along Buck's knuckles. She could see the beginnings of a blush in his cheeks.
"I think you know me a little too well, 'dagio."
"Be honest."
"Lust." Buck said. Adagio frowned.
"Wrong. Close, but wrong. I've spent plenty of time tasting you, and while lust is an...intoxicatingly ubiquitous flavor of yours, it's not the primary."
"Well, why don't you tell me then?"
"Your primary emotion is passion. You flare and crackle with it, Buck. You feel passion for so many tiny innocuous things throughout the day, and your eyes are always wandering in one direction while your thoughts go in several others. You taste like so many things, Buck, even under all the weight you carry, you feel things so fiercely, it...I'm rambling." 
"Thank you."
"Hm?" 
"No one's ever described me like that. Thank you." Adagio saw a fragile smile on Buck's face.
"Hold your hand out, like this...like you're catching rain, or offering change." Adagio lifted Buck's hand, cradling it in hers. 
Buck hummed with effort, but nothing came out.
"Still nothin'." Buck grunted.
"You don't need to strain, Buck. Let it come to you. Just let it out."
"But if I lose control, I'll go nuclear!"
"You won't. You've done it before. I've seen you use magic."
"What?"
"When you sang on our first date. You captured the crowd and held their attention implicitly from the first bar of your song."
"That's just karaoke."
"No, Buck. Everything stopped. Every eye and ear came to you at once and stayed. That was magic. At game night, you nearly sent the whole table to sleep. Starlight dozed off entirely. When you mocked Quibble Pants, he felt the blows in his soul. I could taste it. When you took me to the dressing room on the boardwalk and fucked a blushing confession out of me, that was magic. When I was overstimulated on that horrible little pillbox of public transit, you cast a song of calm on me that allowed me to get to work."
"That's all just coincidence!"
"Songs are among the oldest invocations known to intelligent life. A Bard's song has power, and you are nothing if not a Bard. You don't even need to sing. With the right amount of focus, you won't need to invoke your spells at all."
"Because the song is in my heart?"
"Yes, Buck."
That's corny as all hell."
"Implying you aren't?"
"Ooh...got 'em." Buck was trying not to smile, now, but Adagio could taste his mirth and a spreading relief. He had missed their rapport just as much as she had. "Okay, so magic's been slippin' out of me. We already knew that."
"No, Buck, even if you didn't mean to, you've cast spells! Sunburst and Starlight think that your little pebble will help you control your power, but it's just a lid. What happens when you leave the lid on a boiling pot?"
"...It eventually boils over."
"Exactly. A lid doesn't control the temperature, a lid simply traps the heat in. Your power has been repressed for so long, you don't even know what it's like when it's properly unleashed. Did you know, when magical creatures hold their power and emotions back, they begin to suffer? Sloth, constant exhaustion and sudden outbursts are common symptoms of mana constipation. They're all just bubbling pots."
"Bubbling pots..so, wait, we're not trying to get at the water in the pot, we're trying to..."
"Let off some steam?" Adagio tasted a sudden spike of heat from Buck. His lust tasted like spicy hot chocolate, and the hint of it on the tip of her tongue nearly made her drool. Buck peeked with one eye to see a devilish grin across from him.
"I said enough of that. I'm spoken for." Buck growled.
"Oh? And is that you speaking, or her?"
"Just stop with the flirting."
"You don't really want me to. I can taste it."
"What I want is for you to respect my boundaries. If you cain't do that, I'm callin' this whole thing off." Adagio buckled under the spotlight of Buck's glare. The rebuke stung as if it had struck her across the cheek.
"I understand." Adagio said. Buck's gaze softened, but the flickering lust remained.	 
"Right...so the aura is the steam, then?"
"Yes. Your magic is the water, your intention is the burner and the spell is--"
"A ladle?"
"Yes, that will do just fine. Let's focus in on the steam, hm? Breathe, Buck...I want you to hold the handle of that pot in your mind." Adagio said, her voice dipping low.
Buck's hand hovered, reaching slowly for a lid that wasn't there. Adagio could feel the heat gathering in his palm.
"Good...now give me the name of something you're passionate about. Don't think. Just speak it."
"Reading stories. Writing stories. Telling stories." Adagio's heart began to speed up. Buck's beat at the same rhythm. There was the tiniest spark in his hand, like a dying matchstick.
"Excellent. What else?"
"Cartoons. Movies." Buck's hand started slipping away, but Adagio held fast. She thought her hands would catch fire at any moment, but she refused to let go.
"More. What else, Buck? What else do you love?" Her voice rose. 
"Comic books, podcasts, video games, roleplay...!" Buck's hand trembled as a mote of pale red light blinkered into his palm.
"More! What else do you love, Buck!?" In her mind, she was begging to hear her name. 
"Uh, the uh, the beach! The ocean! Sweets and soul food and so many kinds of music! I love dance, and poetry and things that fly and swim and run and jump. The feel of a cool breeze and the satisfaction that comes after cumming so hard your toes curl!" The ember bloomed into flame. Pink sparks and a crackling ball of red fire warmed Adagio's face. It trembled and shifted forms quickly, uncertainly.
"Yes! Yes! What else, Buck!?" 
"The, the way that Sunburst doesn't always know what to say, but he knows when to say it! The way Starlight can't hep but smile when Sunburst takes her hand. The way Scoots fidgets when she's nervous. The way Dinky Doo is always looking for rocks and leaves and bones. The way Ditzy holds me." Buck's voice got quieter, but the flame in his hand stopped its shifting. It ballooned into a cartoonish red heart, pulsing with pink light.
Adagio's emotions coagulated under the venom of that woman's name. It sat smugly on Buck's tongue in the space meant for Adagio. Her next words came out low and careful.
"What else, Buck? Tell me what else you love."
"...the way you look at me. Like I'm a strange light you saw while wandering in the forest, and the sun is going down, but you're not scared, you're smiling and following the light, because you want...because you need to know where it goes. You look at me like a calamity, and you look at me like an unspoiled night sky. Like I'm..."
"Sublime?" Adagio whispered.
"Yes."  The heart shuddered and grew again. It twisted and shook, and its flames brought sweat to Adagio's face. Buck's hand was glowing like a hot poker, but it didn't matter. The heart bubbled and waved and seemed for all the world like a star about to be born. 
Adagio had a catastrophic thought. She could drink it all in, let it burn her to cinders. Swallow it down and consume it before it could consume her. It tasted so hot and so violent and so, so good.
But then she looked at Buck, and her thirst melted away. His lip was quivering, and his jaw clenched. The heart flared.
"Buck?"
"Adagio, I'm scared. I can't do this. We shouldn't be doing this!"
"Buck, it's okay. I have you."
"This is too much!"
"No, Buck, this is you. This is who you are. You'll be fine.
"How can you know that!?" The heart drummed a panicked beat.
"Please, trust me. I won't let you burn down. Take a deep breath..."
Buck inhaled. The heart inflated.
"Now, let go."
To call it a firestorm wouldn't be exactly accurate. In the days to come, Adagio would cross out names and diagrams and descriptions in her journal, trying to piece together all that she saw. 
The red hot heart of flame floating in Buck's hands pulsed with his heartbeat, getting faster and faster until Buck's eyes opened to reveal a blinding white glow. 
Buck's jaw dropped as the red heart sent blooms of pink flame into the air like twirling bottle rockets. They burst against the ceiling, and the embers that came tumbling down unfolded into dancing images. In the chaos, Adagio barely registered the sight of countless red illusions playing out a thousand little scenarios. A child raising a sword for the first time, a moth emerging from a cocoon. Figures embracing and swinging into a waltz, and countless others orbiting through the space, shifting and breaking and combining into new forms.
The heat was immeasurable. Adagio felt Buck's energy blaze up her arms and into her chest. She felt Buck's impulses as her own. She fought the urge to dance, to draw, to write, to sing, to take Buck to the floor and tear his clothes off. She felt his heart twisting under an impossible weight, yet the blaze of his passion brought a burning blush to her cheeks and a wetness between her thighs.  
Adagio feared that if she let go of Buck's quivering hands, she might float off into space and be burned among the stars. Sweat was rolling down his face. She began to speak to him, but a din rose amidst the illusions. It sounded like a brass band, then an orchestra, then a barbershop quartet. Despite the obvious strain, Adagio could hear a gentle harmony finding itself in the chaos.
"'dagio, I can't see! What's happening!?"
"Buck, you're doing wonderfully!" Adagio tried to placate him, but the noise drowned her out. A soothing song playing far too loud sang through the space, and as the images rotated around them, another flare erupted from the heart. 
The walls of the suite disappeared, and suddenly Adagio and Buck were hurtling through a galaxy, then they were flying over a sun-dappled ocean, then they were sitting on a hill overlooking a moonlit pond. 
Adagio looked around in awe and jealousy. Of course, her Dazzlevision spell had filled an auditorium and conjured realities, but it had come at the cost of the emotional energy of all present. 
Buck was creating a shockingly potent illusion with his own power, and he was doing it accidentally. 
"Don't be scared, Buck! Feed the flame! This is your power; let it fill you!" 
The red heart in Buck's hands shuddered, and suddenly the scene shifted again. They were on a balcony overlooking a dying star. They were in the shade of a dead giant's sword; they were in the depths of a forest made of twisting steel. The sparkling fireworks all around shifted to dragonflies, then birds, cars, blades, and people.
The pink flames surrounding the heart charged up Buck's arms, and suddenly he was nothing but a blazing suggestion of a human silhouette. His eyes shone through it, straight into Adagio.
The heart twitched, and Adagio felt a twinge of pain in her chest. She looked down and saw an odd lump forming near the top of the heart. Another joined it, then they extended outward, bending gently and sharpening. 
Horns. 
The same horns were forming in flame atop Buck's head. Behind him, a pair of slender wings slid from the pink blaze.
Adagio had seen this figure in a reoccurring nightmare. 
It was a presence that terrified and charmed her. A demon that threatened to send her willingly to her knees.
Adagio's hair blossomed to its full, resplendent length. Equine ears popped from her head, and fins unfurled from her back. She was full to the brim, and yet the power kept flooding her, overflowing just as it did on their first night together. She thought she had grown acclimated to Buck's power, but she was wrong. She was floating in a scalding bath of his emotions, and it felt as if she would catch flame if she didn't get out. 
Adagio heard a frantic pounding at a door that must have been a few realities away. Her mind drifted to the possibilities. She could harness this power for so much more than a simple doorway home. She could change the world. Both worlds. She felt the mana flowing through her, swirling, blazing. It was a feast fit for an empress, and it was in the palm of her hands. 
"Adagio...?"
It was Buck's voice. It was all around her, calling from the burning stars and everything beyond.
"Yes, Buck?" Meek. Her voice was tiny, nearly an echo.
"Is this what you wanted?" Buck's blazing hands raised the horned heart before her eyes. Adagio saw it up close, and her eyes watered. It was beating, but in the flames, she saw scars and slashes too numerous to count. 
She reached, then immediately pulled back with smoking fingertips. Buck pushed the heart closer, but the heat was unbearable. Adagio shrunk away.
"Stop, Buck! Stop!" 
The burning figure wavered. In the corners of his eyes, Adagio saw blue flames pool and slide down his face. Buck pulled the burning, horned heart back and held it against his chest, doubling over. He shook, and it was like the whole of creation sobbed. The illusions melted like heated wax, and the imaginary space flickered.
A door in space crashed open.
Adagio wanted to say a million things in that moment. She was a manipulator, a social monster, and Buck was far from the first powerful entity she had come into contact with. But every scheme she could conceive fell to pieces as she watched the pink flames turn red, then blue, then hiss into cracked obsidian.
There was a flurry of movement, but Adagio's thoughts were trapped in the sight of Buck solidifying like an urn in a blast furnace. The same pink flame sparked through the cracks, but it was dying.  
She wanted to placate him, to chide or poke at him, find some string in his heart and pull it, but her hollow schemes burned to ash.
In the dying light, Adagio saw the shadow of her sisters as they turned away.  
Don't leave me. Don't run. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I can fix this; just let me fix this!
The trauma of Adagio's own loss dragged her down, away from the heat and the fury.
Home waited with open arms.
The three words she might have said, the words she knew Buck wanted to hear, were drowned in an instant. 
She expected an explosion, but the song ended prematurely. The stories untold spinning around her head faded into phantoms of fireworks in the night sky. 
Two pairs of orange hands held Buck's arms. He was like a statue now, but Adagio could see his face in the stone. There wasn't anguish there, despite the blueish flames streaking down his cheeks. It was the placid, not-quite-frown of a man who had been reminded of his place.
Starlight placed the changeling stone necklace around Buck's neck, and the aura disappeared in a puff of smoke. 
Buck sat straight and blinked. There were tears on his face.
"Are you alright?" Sunburst said, looking him up and down.
"Y-Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. That was...that was all pretty intense." Buck sniffled.
"What the heck was all that fire stuff!?" Scoots said.
"That was Buck's aura. I may have been a little overzealous." Adagio said.
"Overzealous!? It looked like you were trying to rip a hole in space! Was that your plan all along? Were you going to escape to Equestria!?" Starlight said. Adagio held up a finger and didn't entertain Starlight for even a second. Her eyes were trained on Buck. 
She had tasted far too many familiar emotions in the chaos. But that could be addressed later, or preferably never. There were more pressing matters at hand.
"Buck...those images and sounds, is that what it's like in your mind?" Both of them looked equally shaken.
"Well, not all the time...but mostly, yeah. I'm an idea guy." Any hint of trauma was gone from Buck's face.
"How do you manage it? How does your head not burst at the seams?"
"Well, I'll tell you one thing; I'm never bored. A lotta people out there wonder about inspiration or where good ideas come from. And that's ridiculous to me."
"Oh?"
"Everybody is full of good ideas, they just don't notice them. Me, I can't help it.  S'why I write."
"Dude, there was like, pteradactyls in there! And people banging! It was awesome!" Scoots said.
"You should read some of his short stories." Sunburst chuckled.
"It's all trash." Buck shrugged.
"Unpublishable? Sure. Trash? Debatable." Sunburst helped Buck to his feet, then suddenly perked up. "I saw some of the end of that, and we need to write it down, Starlight! Adagio, can you tell us everything that happened in there?"
"Yes, I can. Just a minute. Buck? Are you alright?"
"Well, my magic is fine. Got a whole hell of a lot of it, too."
Adagio rose to her feet, then placed her hands on Buck's cheeks.
"No, Buck. Are you alright?"
"...Are you?" 
A meaningful silence filled the room. 
"Oh! Hey, lookit that, your hair's back!" Buck reached out and touched Adagio's glorious mane. Little pink sparks followed his fingers for a moment. 
"Hm? Oh yes, rapid hair growth is a well-known side effect of magical transformations."
"Like a super saiyan!" Scoots said.
"A what?" Adagio said.
"Let's not. 'dagio, why the fuck did all that happen? I'm about as confused as a condom on a banana farm."
"Well, Buck. We managed to get your aura out, but you began to shape your mana reserves into illusions, seemingly on instinct."
"And the, uh, the getting caught on fire part?"
"Oh, that was definitely demonification of some sort."
"Oookay. That's a bad." Buck's legs gave out. Sunburst and Scoots carefully let him down on the couch.
"That depends on your perspective. Regardless, it seems that learning to release your magic in controlled bursts is going to be your primary challenge. But, congratulations, Buck! You're a spellcaster." Adagio stuck out her hand, and after a bit of hesitation, Buck shook it.
"Thanks, teach."
"Ah-ah. We're colleagues. I understand your magic just as well as you do, Buck. But, if we work together, I'm sure we'll get a firm handle on it."
"Thanks, senpai." Buck smirked. "Why don't I feel, like, evil?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, don't people usually turn evil when they transform into shit like that? What did I look like?"	
"You were like a statue!" Scoots said.
"And before that, you were engulfed in red and pink flames." Adagio said.
"What does that mean!?"
Sunburst and Adagio shared a glance.
"Well, that's a very good question, isn't it?" Adagio said, smiling. "And to answer your question, no, you don't turn 'evil' when you absorb a large amount of magic. It's more like you become...exaggerated. Whether its good or bad is up for interpretation." 
"Are we just going to ignore what happened here!?" Starlight said.
"No, as a matter of fact, we aren't. I'm changing the details of our arrangement." Adagio said.
"What!? You're the one who came in here and tried to sabotage Buck!"
"Sabotage? I managed to draw out Buck's magic! It's clear to me that what he needs is to be away from the pressure of this classroom. Buck is sensitive, and magic is driven by emotions." 
"I suggest therapy." Sunburst said, patting Buck's shoulder.
"I'm workin' on it!" Buck smiled.
"I suggest a private tutor," Adagio said.
"And you want to be that tutor." Starlight said.
"That's right."
"There is no way in hell that's going to happen."
"I'm afraid it's not up to you! Buck? How would you feel about coming upstairs to learn magic with me? It will be less theoretical and more hands on, and we can take breaks at your leisure."
"Will you treat me to lunch if I say yes?"
"Of course, Buck."
"Sure, sounds good to me."
"Buck, are you out of your mind!?"
"Starlight, I appreciate what you're tryin' to do, but 'dagio's gettin' results, and she ain't never told me to 'calm down'."
"You caught on fire!"
"Magical fire. I was turning into somethin', but you stopped me, so thanks for that? As long as I've got this lil' guy, I should be alright." Buck said, touching the changeling stone. 
"I'll still be more than happy to let you read this tome, so long as you afford Buck and I some privacy. That way, you can focus on your own star pupil." Adagio said, gesturing at Scoots. "Everybody wins."
"There is no way we're going to let you take Buck behind a locked door after all the trouble you've caused!"
"Now, hold on, Starlight. Adagio has a point. She's spent time getting to know Buck intimately. We should at least consider her expertise." Sunburst said.
"I'm also willing to provide detailed reports of Buck's progress, though I don't expect us to go very far. This is all meant to be remedial, right Buck?"
"Yeah, pretty much. I just need the fundamentals so I can get by without getting bodied."
"And I can provide that without the need for graphs and equations. You are more than welcome to compare notes and offer advice in the meantime, but Buck and I will see to the development of his magic."
"Buck, you're making a mistake." Starlight said.
"Maybe. But it's my mistake to make." Buck stood again, having found his posture. Sitting in his shadow brought an odd shiver to Adagio. Starlight glared at Buck, then at Sunburst, and finally, put her hands up and sighed. 
"Fine. Just remember to keep that changeling stone on hand in case there's any funny business." Starlight said.
"Shall we?" Adagio tried to take Buck by the arm, but he pushed past her, out of Sunbursts' suite.





Down the hall and up a few floors, Adagio tapped a few buttons, then sighed.
"I can never get this thing to work."
"What, that food delivery app?"
"Sometimes I feel that these smartphones were invented exclusively to annoy me!"
"Alright grandma, give it here." Buck chuckled. "Ooh! Curry, from Saff's place?"
"I thought you'd appreciate it." Adagio smiled.
"That's uncharacteristically thoughtful of you." Buck said, passing the phone back.
"Who says I'm not thoughtful, Buck? The entire reason I'm here is because I thought you needed help, and what do I find? You being forced to do magic under obvious duress! You're very welcome, by the way."
"Why you gotta push on her so much?" 
"You mean Starlight Glimmer?"
"Yeah. I know she's kinda pig-headed, but she obviously means well, so what's your beef?"
"She's the one with the 'beef' as you say. I push because she needs to be challenged. She has a narrow worldview that is highly characteristic of unicorns. That, and it's entertaining."
"You're mean." Buck said flatly.
"You like it when I'm mean." Adagio smiled.
"I don't like it when you pick fights."
"Oh, so you expect me to sit by while you get screamed at for not grasping magic fundamentals? Exactly how long should I have watched you fail before interceding, Buck?"
"All I'm saying is you don't have to act all antagonistic. They're my friends."
"Starlight Glimmer is no one's friend."
"She's doing her best."
"And so were you, but if you tell a fish that it must climb a tree, it will spend its life wondering why it can't."
The door opened, and Buck found himself in a room that had almost grown nostalgic. He remembered waking up next to Adagio. He tried to put it from his mind.
"I do appreciate your help, in spite of everything."
Buck turned and looked at Adagio for a moment. She didn't need to taste him to see how sad he was.
"Would you mind if I sat down?" 
"...Of course not." 
Buck sat, Adagio noticed, on the edge of the couch he had chosen when he told the story of his childhood. A part of Adagio deflated as she realized the distance between them had grown so much. She sat an arm's length away, wondering what could be going through his mind. Buck stared across the room and fiddled with the damnable stone around his neck.
"I wish you would take that thing off. You're usually bursting over with emotion, and not being able to taste it is uncanny."
"Oh nooo, you can't read my emotions anymore; now you'll have to talk about them instead. How terrifying for you." Buck said humorlessly.
"I think that's what I missed. The sass. It's nice to have you here again, if only briefly." Adagio said warmly.
"It's actually really cold in here. Would you mind turning up the heat a little bit?"
"You can do it yourself, Buck. Though, I'm surprised; you've never complained about the temperature in here before."
"I was bein' polite." Buck crossed the room, poked the thermostat a few times, then sat back down. He took his time, leaving Adagio to wonder if he was relishing the distance between them. 
"I take it you want to take a short break from training after that spectacle you created. I can only imagine how emotionally draining it must have been."
"I'm fine. I just need a breather."
"I hate it when you lie to me."
"That's rich, coming from you."
"I never once lied to you, Buck."
"Not directly, sure."
"I told you exactly what I am."
"After I caught you out of disguise."
"What's your point?"
"Nothin'. Let's get back to it."
Buck removed his necklace and placed it on the table. Adagio distressingly didn't notice any difference. The lukewarm temperature remained. She still couldn't taste him.
"Very well. Show me your aura. We're going to focus on keeping it low and in control. Remember the boiling pot. That seemed to work for you."
"Right." Buck held one hand out, just as before, then held the other out for Adagio. 
"Remember how you felt before. Hone in on it..." Adagio said.
Buck shut his eyes. He released a long, drawn-out breath, and Adagio felt the sweet, spicy taste of his emotion bubbling up from inside. 
"Good...let it come to you..."
A few fading red sparks gathered in Buck's hands...then fizzled out.	
"S'not happenin'." Buck said glumly.
"Buck, you need to let yourself feel the passion. If you don't embrace your emotion, the mana can't flow."
"I'm trying!" Buck said. He grunted and managed to accomplish exactly nothing.
"Buck."
Buck kept trying to force it out, to no avail.
"Buck, stop. That isn't going to work. If you don't acknowledge your emotion, nothing will come out. What's on your mind? Tell me."
Buck inhaled sharply and stared at Adagio, pulling his hand away.
"Ah. So you're still upset."
"It hasn't been that long, 'dagio."
"Hasn't it? It feels like it's been years since we've spoken."
"It's only been a few days since the fair."
"No, I mean quality time. The trolley doesn't count. That was simple charity."
"You were hurting."
"And you rescued me, despite your own feelings, when you could have let me suffer. Why?"
"It was the right thing to do." 
"You trusted me to save your...family, as you put it."
"Yeah."
"And when I asked if you still wanted me..."
"I said yes."
"So, where do we go from here, Buck? I know that you need to learn magic, and you're willing to pay me with your mana, but what else? Why did you agree to take me on as your tutor?"
Adagio waited for Buck to play dumb and say he wasn't bothered like Sonata would. She waited for him to grumble and groan about it, maybe punch a hole in something like Aria would. Instead, Buck sat and crossed his arms, taking on the pensive look that had made Adagio smile countless times before. 
He had a strong poker face, and despite the emotional distance, Adagio couldn't help but admire it.
"I missed you. Even after what you did, I miss you, Adagio."	
Adagio smiled and moved to embrace him, but Buck put a hand up.
"But magic is tied to emotion, right? So I don't think we're gonna get anywhere until I get this out. You hurt me, Adagio. You could've told me at any point that I had magic and that's what you were after. You could have sat me down and explained it to me, and it would have been fine. You didn't need to pretend to care about me. You didn't need to come into my life. It could've been business. For fuck's sake, if I could just give you all my magic, I would!"
"Buck..."
"But you chose to lead me on. You chose to date me and act like there was a chance of us having somethin' together. You pretended to be interested in me, and you pretended to be my friend, and you pretended to want me, and I knew, I knew, somewhere inside that you couldn't love a human, but I acted like you wouldn't rip my heart out anyway, because I could see that even under all the scheming and all the seduction, you were just like me."
"What?"
"You're someone who lost a love that meant the world to you. You're lonely. You seemed like the first person in my life to really understand that feeling; even though we didn't talk about it, it was there, and I could see it! I thought that you needed someone to warm you up and make you laugh and make you feel seen! But now I know there was never a chance of that. Because you're a siren, and I'm a human, and no matter what I did or what I might do, I'll never be enough for you."
"Is that why you chose her? Because she's human?"
"Ditzy treats me like a partner. And she ain't ever lied to me."
"Everyone lies when they're dating, Buck. I'll have you know that statistically speaking, most human relationships fold after a few months because no one can keep up the facade for much longer."
"Oh, just like you." Buck glared.
"You're no saint, yourself. Do you think most women would be enthused to hear about your little reputation around town? The one you never bothered to tell me about?"
"That's different."
"Is it? Because as far as I know, it's something that you're profoundly ashamed of, and if I had to guess emphatically, you didn't tell me because you thought it would alter our relationship. And like most secrets, it became obvious after a little digging." Adagio said icily.
"You looked me up?"
"You weren't hard to find. Did you know you have a bit of a fanbase?"
"Oh christ." Buck groaned.
"What I'm trying to say, is that we both have done things we aren't proud of. Being with you, it threatened my pride."
"...go on."
"When I was with you...for the first time, I started to feel shame for what I was. Drinking you felt wrong and wrong is...not something that should concern a thing like me. From the first night we spent together, I knew you had a wellspring of mana inside you.  But I also knew that if I told you, everything would change. You would look at me differently. Like you are now."
"Adagio, you were my lover. My friend. If you just explained your case, I would've understood."
"Well, I'm doing it now. Do you understand?"
"I think so." Buck crossed his arms. "But it still hurts."
"Let me fix it, then."
"How do you plan on doin' that?"
Adagio balled up her fists. She felt the arms of home opening wide once more, waiting for her to dive in. She remembered Sonata's advice, and though her pride thrashed and screamed in the depths of her soul, she gritted her teeth and faced Buck.
"I'm genuinely trying to help you. Your friends mean well, Buck, but they don't understand your magic the way I do. They'll have you running in circles until you burn out. You need me, and, even though it's hard for me to admit, I need you, too. Not just to feed on your magic, but your presence." Adagio looked at Buck like she was waiting for a response. All she got was a tender look that was as infuriating as it was comforting. He was letting her finish, and that meant she had to. 
"Because, when we're together...you make me happy, and I know that if I let that happiness go, I'll never find it again. I need you, Buck, and not because of your magic, but because of who you are. So please, I need you to trust me. Let me help you master this power of yours. I'm the only one that can."
Buck let Adagio take his hands. She had tears in her eyes, and through her impassioned speech, she shook with conviction.
After an awkward silence, the pair looked down in unison and saw that the red, beating heart of flame had returned, floating just above their hands. Buck blushed, but Adagio looked at him pleadingly.
"...okay. I trust you, Adagio."
"Thank you, Buck." Adagio sniffled.
The red heart flickered with pink flames, and that pair of curling horns emerged from the top.
"So that's my cutie mark?"
"Yes, Buck."
"Why's it got horns?"
"I don't know, Buck."
"Why're the flames pink?"
"You love pink! You're wearing a pink scrunchie right now."
"I am? Oh shit, I am, aren't I? You know, I'm sorta relieved. I almost expected it to be a dick."
"That's ridiculous!"
"What? I didn't want my 'special talent' to be fuck shit! Sue me!"
"Oh, please. You're not like the others, Buck. You're not a pony."
"Well, what the hell am I, then?"
"I have no idea." Adagio smiled.
"Oh, great." Buck rolled his eyes.
"Buck?"
"Yeah?"
"That was an excellent showing."
"Thanks."
"You can let go of my hands, now." 
Buck cringed away, and the flames guttered out.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry 'bout that." Buck stammered, but his protest was cut off as Adagio threw herself into his arms. She buried her face into his chest and finally seemed to relax as Buck stroked her hair.
A quiet moment passed, with Adagio clinging to Buck, showing honest emotion for once, even if she feared it. Buck had a storm of thoughts roiling in his head, but the most pressing of them was to let this space linger. This quiet, gentle space where they were allowed to be vulnerable.
"There's, uh, something I've been meanin' to ask you since you showed up today."
Adagio's heart rose into her throat, and she pulled back, trailing a finger along Buck's chest.
"What is it, Buck?"
"Can you teach me prestidigitation?" Buck said, eyes full of wonder.
Adagio sighed, smiled, and shook her head.
"Yes, Buck. I can teach you prestidigitation."	





There was no space for silence in the hours that passed at Sunbursts' desk. Before him sat the makings of a detailed illustration of what he had seen of Buck's aura. The word pink was underlined with a few question marks around it, and the strange, stony illusion that had surrounded Buck was described as an equal mystery. 
"We only caught the end of it, but what a display! How much of that was illusion, and how much of that was pure aura?" Sunburst said as he took down his postulations.
"Sunburst." Starlight said.
"I have so many questions! Did you see that aura he was holding to his chest? I couldn't quite make it out!"
"Sunburst?"
"Some of the illusions were aura, but the walls were like windows into another reality! I know Buck is imaginative, but how could just manifesting his aura result in something so drastic?"
"Sunburst!" Starlight shouted. Sunburst whirled around in his chair, the smile on his face nearly manic. 
"Yes, Starlight? any thoughts?"
"Tell me you have a plan." Starlight said.
"Huh?"
"Your best friend is locked in a room with one of the most dangerous entities known to human and pony kind. Tell me you have a plan." Starlight said. Her arms were crossed, but Sunburst could see the trauma in her eyes. His excited ramblings stopped immediately.
"The plan is to let Buck handle this."
"Buck couldn't handle a spaghetti dinner! What makes you think he can handle a master manipulator!?"
"I don't think you're giving either of them enough credit."
"You can't honestly expect me to trust Adagio 'Under Our Spell' Dazzle!"
"Can you trust me?"
Scoots took a scoop out of the rapidly dwindling tub of ice cream and watched the exchange like it was a soap opera.
"Tell me right now that you have a real plan!" Starlight snarled.
"You want Buck on our side in this fight? This is how it happens."
"What?"
"If I know my best friend, there is only one way this goes. Buck knows that magic can be used for good as well as evil, but magic has mostly just been a misfortune for him. Now he's in a situation where he can't ignore magic anymore. He has power, so he's a target. But you know all of this already."
Starlight nodded.
"Buck is creative. He's a self-proclaimed idea factory. He has more power than the rest of us, sure, but he's averse to causing harm. So what do you think he'll use his magic for, Starlight?"
"He's a good guy! And he's not dumb; he'll use his magic for good, and he won't let Adagio push him around!" Scoots chimed in.
"Once he has a firm grasp of magic fundamentals, do you honestly think he'll pass up a chance to play around with his magic? It's an art form he's never tried, one that's only limited by mana reserves and creativity. You saw what his mind conjured up by accident; imagine what he could do on purpose! If we just let him experiment, maybe Buck will finally see that magic isn't all doom and gloom. After that, all we have to do is remind him that there are people out there using magic for evil and that he has the power to make a change. Buck will want to help because that's just the kind of guy he is, and we have Adagio to thank for showing him the way."
"But he said he wanted to learn magic for self-defense only! Does that sound altruistic to you?"
"If we give him time, I'm sure he'll come around. We just have to let him play for a bit."
"That's...wow, I didn't even think of that. That's almost diabolical." Starlight said, smiling.
"Well, sure it is! It involves Adagio. I know she's dangerous, Starlight. And I know you don't trust her, but what she wants, first and foremost, is Buck's magic. She's seen that just pulling his strings doesn't work. She's being fed, and she won't let her meal ticket come to harm. That makes her predictable. That paradigm is one that we can work around. For all of Adagio's faults, Buck is safest when he's with her."
Starlight nodded slowly, taking it all in.
"You know that Ditzy won't like this one bit, right?"
Sunburst took a breath as if preparing to bungee jump with a long rope.
"I know. That's why I want you to talk to her about it."
"WHAT!?"
"What's wrong?"
"Sunburst, why?"
"Aren't you two old friends?"
"Well, that's not exactly, well, I mean, it's that we aren't, it's complicated!"
"Did you guys....date?" Scoots said, looking up from her phone.
"No! Circumstances just sort of brought us together, and it was a really hard time, and can we not talk about this right now?"
"If it's too much for you, I understand. We could just let Buck handle it. He's her boyfriend, after all." Sunburst said.
"But this doesn't look good! How do you think Ditzy is going to react when she finds out that Buck is taking 'private lessons' from his evil ex-girlfriend?"
"Not well, I'm assuming." Sunburst said, not looking up.
"Someone on her side needs to explain that we're going to monitor his progress and make sure that she doesn't brainwash him or something!"
"That's a good point."
"And if he goes over there, he's going to look really suspicious! She's going to think something is up."
"Right."
"So she needs someone reliable to explain that the situation is being handled and that we have a plan."
"Excellent idea!"
"I'll drop Buck off, and we'll explain it together. It won't be easy, but I'm sure Ditzy will listen." Starlight said, eyes filled with determination. 
The door slammed open.
"Guys, check this shit out!"
Buck was smiling ear to ear as he pulled a bemused Adagio by the hand.
"What? What's going on!?" Scoots sprung up.
Buck pulled off his necklace and tossed it to the floor. Then, he held out his free hand, and a shower of red sparks shot from his palm like a roman fountain. Scoots dove behind the couch.
"WOAH! Okay, okay, hold on, hold on..." Buck stammered.
"Breathe, Buck. Pull it back just a little bit." Adagio said. 
Buck smiled at Adagio and nodded. As Buck exhaled, the stream of mana died down into a small pink flame. It flashed and sputtered a few times, then shifted gradually into a floating cube. The cube barely retained its form, warping and twisting while Buck tried to hold it together.
"You've learned a minor illusion only a few hours!?" Sunburst ran up with a notepad. The cube spun slowly, the expanded in size, wavering.
Scoots crept up and poked at the cube.
"Eek! It's still super hot!" 
"Sorry, sorry!" Buck said, letting go of Adagio's hand. The cube burst into a little shower of sparks. "Still gettin' a handle on it, it's really tricky!"
"You've been teaching him illusions?" Starlight said.
"Just the one, so far." 
"You've been teaching him illusions, instead of something practical, like arcane bolts?"
"That's what he asked me for, yes."
"Issat a problem, Glimglam?" Buck's eyebrow rose.
"...No! I'm sure you'll make more progress; it's only been a day. Speaking of, are you ready to head home? It's almost sunset."
"Oh shit, is it that time? Yeah, I guess I ought to be getting back. S'almost dinner time. You ready, Sunburst?"
"I'm taking you home." Starlight said.
"Okay, why?" Buck said.
"You'll be glad I did, trust me." Starlight said. 
"...alrighty then. We all good? Sunburst, you got enough data?"
"Oh, there's never enough. But this is a good start! You go home and rest, Buck. You'll need it."
"Whaddya mean, I-ooooh fuck! Ohh, shit, it's like my brain just ran a marathon, holy shit..." Buck clutched at his head.
"Annnd there it is. Let's get you home, big guy." Starlight patted his shoulder and ushered Buck away. For just a moment, Adagio and Starlight met eyes. There was no smirk, just a moment's stare that spoke volumes. 
"Take care, Buck. I'll see you next week." Adagio said. 
"See ya, 'dagio." Buck said.





The ride home was one of the most awkward that Starlight had ever experienced. She couldn't wrap her head around this man. One minute, Buck was yammering on about everything but the point, and the next, he was sitting in solemn silence, staring out at the orange glow of the sunset. He had a hand to his temple, looking off into the distance with a face that Starlight recognized from the feeling alone.
"You're playing with fire, you know."
"Pretty sure she's a water type, not a djinni."
"A what?"
"A genie. You know the sort—someone who was trapped in a shit situation for a long time, despite their power. I guess 'dagio's kinda like that, now that you mention it.
"You know genie wishes alway come with a catch, right?"
"I wish we could all go fishin', before it gets too hot out. That'd be nice, right? I bet 'dagio likes fishin'. I bet Ditzy would, too."
"She's just trying to lure you into a false sense of security so she can pull the rug out from under you."
"And do what?"
"I don't know, but I know better than to trust her, so why don't you?"
Buck was silent for a while. At a glance, Starlight saw the simmering anger on his face. She wished he would scream in her face like he had before. It was easier to be mad that way.
"You know, people always expect the worst outta genies, then act surprised when they pull a trick on 'em. Think about it; if you were enslaved for thousands of years, and only ever released long enough to grant the wishes of someone insane enough to acquire your lamp, wouldn't your first thought be to stop this person from gaining power? I mean, there's the spite, sure, but the kind of person that would use a genies wishes is probably the kind that doesn't care the genie was enslaved, so is it wrong to fuck with 'em? I don't think so." 
"There's no excusing what she's done, Buck."
"I get it. I get it, I do. But I just keep thinking about how things could've been different if gandalf and the gang gave the dazzlings a chance. If they had tried to reason with them."
"Starswirl? If the pillars had given the dazzlings a chance, they would've all been killed. The dazzlings were, and still are, a menace."
"But Adagio isn't. She apologized to me. Again."
"She's manipulating you."
"She just needs a friend. Maybe that's all the Dazzlings ever needed. I know how fucking stupid that sounds, but just look at how much Sunnybun changed after Twiggy and the gang gave her a chance."
"That was different! She never hurt anyone!"
"She was going to. You weren't there, Starlight. She was gonna throw the whole student body at a world filled with laser-shooting ponies. We were just kids, man. She was gonna use kids to start a war. And despite all of that, look how far she came."
"Adagio isn't like Sunset Shimmer."
"When she gets frustrated, she's so much like her. Especially when she apologizes. Sunset had to make a lot of apologies back then, and it was never easy."
"Ugh. You're delusional!"
"Maybe I am, but I keep thinking about how many monsters I've killed in video games and at the table. How many stories I've written where it's a sword in the beasts' heart that saves the day. How different would it be if I could just talk to them?"
"You need to focus. Why were you holding her hand?"
"My powers have something to do with intimacy; at least Adagio thinks so. I can't get it going unless I'm touchin' on her."
"Just her?"
"I dunno."
"How are you going to explain this to Ditzy, Buck?"
"Ah, shit, that's right." Buck pinched the bridge of his nose just as Sunbursts' car came to a stop in the parking lot of Buck's apartment. "Shit, shit, shit."
"I'm going to help you. Don't worry."
"You? The certified hater? You're gonna help me defuse this volatile situation with my girlfriend? Should'a sent a poet. Or Sunburst."
"Oh, ha ha. Very funny."
"I try."
"Whatever, Buck. I'm helping, whether you want me to or not."
"Guess I better get used to that." Buck grumbled. "But thanks."





As they made their way down the apartment hall, Buck heard the tell-tale sounds of Dinky making a commotion. It brought a smile to his face until he made out the words.
"I don't wanna! I don't wanna!"
No sooner had Buck turned the handle did Dinky Doo come barreling out of the apartment. She ran smack into Buck, then squeezed him with all the strength that her tiny arms could manage.
"Woah! Hey, Dink! What's goin' on?" Buck smiled. 
Dinky Doo looked up at Buck with tears in her eyes and snot on her face.
"Mama's bein' mean to me!" Dinky fussed.
"What? Are you for real?" Buck said, squatting down. Dinky nodded through her pouting scowl. Buck looked over at Ditzy Doo, who was sporting an apron and one of the most exhausted frowns Buck had seen outside of his bathroom mirror. Across the living room, Buck could see Dinky's handiwork, a pandemonium of lego sets that had been accrued over four birthdays scattered across the round dining table. 
"Dinky made a mess, and she doesn't want to clean it up." Ditzy said.
"I was making a spaceship, but Mama said I won't get no dessert if I don't put my blocks away, but there's a whole buncha blocks, and they're all mixed up and I finished my homework but I dropped my crayon under the couch and I can't find it, and I was supposed to set the table and it's almost dinnertime!" Dinky wailed.
Buck flashed Starlight a stink eye when he noticed her look of irritated incredulity.
"I see, I see. That sounds serious." Buck nodded sagely. "Sounds like mistakes were made."
Dinky nodded and messily rubbed her eye.
"I didn't mean to, Buck! You gotta believe me!"
"I believe you, Dink. You want hugs?" Dinky squeezed Buck around the neck. "Oookay, okay. It's alright, Dinky. We're gonna figure this out. You're alright." Buck said, patting the child on the back. 
Ditzy waved at Starlight with an apologetic smile, but Starlight was having a hard time meeting her eye.
"Whadd'a we do when we make a mistake, Dink?" 
"We try an' fix it..." Dinky sniffled.
"That's right. Now, it sounds like there a whole lotta mess, and it's real complicated. How 'bout I help ya fix it? Would that be alright?"
Dinky nodded against his neck. 
"How about you start putting the blocks in your lego bucket, and I'll get the crayon?"
"Okay, Buck!" Dinky said. 
"Wait, hold up." Buck said, reaching into his back pocket. With a ready handkerchief and a gentle hand, Buck cleaned the gross from Dinky's face. "There ya go." 
While Buck searched under the couch and Dinky swept a bunch of legos into a glitter-covered bucket, Starlight stepped over to Ditzy, who was in the process of finishing up dinner. It smelled like chicken and cheese and herbs, and it instantly reminded Starlight that her personal food pyramid was four-fifths Chinese takeout.
"You can have some if you want." Ditzy said.
"Huh?"
"It's chicken alfredo stew. Buck and Dinky's favorite. You don't have to stay for dinner, but if you want to take some home. I don't mind."  Ditzy said, stirring the pot.
"It's...strange seeing you as a cook, after all this time." Starlight blurted.
"Well, there's some things you just gotta do when you have a kid," Ditzy said. She tasted the broth and frowned. "Hm...help me out. What do you think?"
Ditzy held up the spoon to Starlight's lips, and after a moment's hesitation, Starlight tasted it.
"I don't know. It's a tasty, but maybe a little bland?"
"Paprika, I think." Ditzy smiled, reaching for her spice rack.
"I just wouldn't think you'd want to keep cooking."
"We don't have to talk about it." Ditzy said quietly. 
Starlight looked over her shoulder and saw Buck and Dinky absorbed by the menial task of collecting toys. They seemed to be in their own little world.
"I'm actually here to talk about Buck." Starlight said.
"Oh no. Did something go wrong? Is everything okay?"
"He's the most annoying man in the world."
"You don't mean that." Ditzy rolled one eye and returned to her stirring.
"He has a hard time picking up the most basic fundamentals."
"Well, it's magic. It probably doesn't make any sense to him. Doesn't make any sense to me, either. Just give him time. Buck's smart. He'll find a solution if you just give him a chance." Ditzy said, smiling. "Maybe try bribing him with sweets. That works on Dinky sometimes when she doesn't wanna do her math." 
"There's...he did make progress today, but there's a...a hitch."
"What do you mean?"
Starlight leaned over to whisper in Ditzy's ear.
While Buck chatted with Dinky, he failed to notice Ditzy Doo cast a sudden glare in his direction. Starlight placed a hand on her shoulder and gently led her out into the hallway, where they could talk.
"Who's that lady, Buck?" Dinky wondered as she and Buck put down placemats. The lion's share of the cleanup was already done.
"That's GlimGlam. You met her at the fair."
"Nuh-uh!"
"Whaddya mean, nuh-uh?"
"She knows Mama, I think. " Dinky said.  "She has pretty hair. Can you make my hair like that?"
"What, like, purple?"
"No, like swishy! Swish!"
"Oh, uh, I dunno. Maybe? I'd have to look up some tutorials, or somethin'."
"Whassa tutoriel?"
"It's like uh, it's like text book, sort of, but someone narrates it."
"What's a narrates?"
"Well, it's like..."





"Holding hands. Why do they have to hold hands?" Ditzy said.
"I don't know. There's still a lot to learn about Buck's magic," Starlight said.
"He didn't...turn into anything, did he?"
Starlight frowned and stared at the floor.
"No. This can't be happening. This can't be happening. He can't, you can't let him, you can't let her do this!" 
"She didn't make him turn. At least...we don't think she did. We think that might have just been him."
"No, no, no, this is her. She's trying to turn him into a monster! Starlight you have to promise me.. Promise me she won't take him and turn him into a monster!"
"We're doing everything we can. In the meantime, just...let me know if his behavior changes. If he shows any signs of changing, or some kind of anomaly happens around him, just let us know and we'll handle him."
Ditzy went pale.
"Not like that. Not like that." Starlight said, but the horror on Ditzy's face wasn't far from her own.
"I won't let it happen. I swear it."
Ditzy put a fist to her own mouth, trying to gather herself. She shook her head slowly.
"...Why do they have to hold hands?"
"We're going to figure this out. This is just temporary."
"As long as he gets what he needs to control his magic, it's okay." Ditzy said. She looked over and smiled. The mess had been cleaned, and now Dinky was sitting on Buck's lap while he quietly read from a colorful picture book.
"Wow. I didn't know he could sit that still." Starlight said.
"You sound like Dinky's teachers." Ditzy sighed. "She's been having trouble focusing in class."
"I guess they have that in common." 
"They have a lot in common, really. It's kinda uncanny. They just sorta get each other. Please don't give up on him, Starlight. I know Buck can be a little difficult, but he needs us, just like Dinky needs him. I need him too."
"I won't. Sunburst would never let me." Starlight chuckled. 
"Do you want to come over for dinner sometime? You could bring him."
Starlight's only response was silence.
"I know things have been weird, Starlight. But with Buck here, things were almost normal for a while. It was like a dream. If you wanna come over some time, and get away from all this crazy stuff, you're always welcome. Both of you."
Dinky Doo looked up from where Buck was reciting the Dr. Suess book in front of her. She smiled and waved and Starlight, summoning a sharp anxiety.
"I should go." Starlight said, finally.
"Starlight...is it Dinky?"
"I'll think about it, but I should go. Buck?" Starlight spoke up.
"Yeah, GlimGlam?"
Ditzy saw Starlight scowl.
"Rest up. We'll see you next week."
"Sure thing." Buck said. 
Starlight shared a nod with Buck and left without another word.
As she settled into the front seat of Sunburst's car, she drew in a rattling breath. Her fists clenched, and her forehead came to rest on the steering wheel. For a while, she sat there shaking until she finally wiped her eyes and started the engine.





Dinner was delicious, as Buck had come to expect. It was so delicious that he and Dinky tucked into it without a word while Ditzy smiled and took her time. There was lots of big news, as well. Dinky had found a bug she hadn't seen before on the playground, and the summer rush was starting to even things out at Sugar Cube Corner. It seemed like it was a pleasant day for just about everyone, and though Buck knew a difficult conversation hung over their heads, Ditzy didn't say anything about magic or Adagio.
Instead, Ditzy reached under the table and took Buck's hand, refusing to let it go until it was time to clean up.  Ditzy put Dinky to bed while Buck cleared the table, and now Buck was whistling a bit of 'Don't Worry, Be Happy in front of the sink. While his hands automatically went through the dishwashing paces he'd developed over years of food service; his mind tried to stifle the ideas that were crackling like fireworks across his imagination. The sight of Adagio's excited eyes lit by the glow of his aura sat heavily in the background of his imaginings, making him feel so many ways he couldn't keep track. 
Just as he was beginning to unhook from reality and start dissociating into the dishwater, Buck felt Ditzy's arms slide around his waist from behind.
"Hey, Muffin." Buck said. "Is Dinky good and tucked in? You need me to do a bedtime story, or somethin'?"
"No, she's knocked out. I just wanted to come and squeeze you." 
The pleasant squish of Ditzy's breasts against his back brought a little reminder. Buck had been so focused on magic stuff he hadn't had time to take care of himself today, and now involuntary excitement was rushing into his crotch. Buck thought then to turn around and try last night again. To sweep Ditzy off her feet and give it to her gentle and sweet like she deserved, but then he remembered his situation. This wasn't the time.
"So...I guess Starlight told you about what went down today."
"Mhm."
"Are you pissed at me?"
"Uh-uh."
"That's a relief."
"I know that you're learning magic to protect yourself, and I know you're doing it to protect me and Dinky, too."
"From myself."
"Starlight said you were having a hard time, and you did what you had to do. I believe that."
"But...?"
"You know how I feel about Adagio."
"I know, but-"
"You don't have to explain it, okay? If you think this is the way to get a handle on your magic, then that's just how it is. I trust you, Buck." Ditzy squeezed him tighter,
"Okay. Thank you for that. Thank you for trusting me." Buck said. He suddenly had a hard time choking the words out.
"But I don't trust her. She's obviously after your magic, and she's tricky. I need you to promise me that you won't let her trick you."
"I won't, Ditzy. I promise."
Buck dried his hands and slid them over Ditzy's. Her presence was like an anchor that kept him tethered to the world. 
"Buck?"
"Yeah, Muffin?"
Ditzy's arms went slack and fell away.
"Turn around."
What Buck saw brought heat rushing into his cheeks. Ditzy was wearing a long white T-shirt; the kind that she slept in. She was wearing absolutely nothing else, not even a bra, and the bashful smile on her face, the way she swayed nervously on her heels, and the hands clasped over her lap told Buck everything he needed to know. 
"Can we do some more couple stuff tonight? I know last night didn't go good, but I thought we could try something different?"
Buck's words caught fire and tumbled off a cliff. In the place of suave words and clever flirtations, his mind conjured up about sixteen different names for titties. The way that Ditzy's impressive rack was squished between her arms banished any intention besides addressing the hardness in his pants. 
"Uhh..."
"No?"
"Yes! Two-hundred percent, yes. Like a monument to the concept of 'Yes', with Roundabout playing in the background."
"Huh?"
"Roundabout is by the band 'Yes'. What'd you uh...what'd you have in mind, Muffin?"
"Come on, ya big big goof." Ditzy giggled, leading Buck by the hand. She sat him down on the couch, knelt between his legs. As she fiddled with his belt, Buck leaned forward and cupped Ditzy's chin, raining light little kisses on her lips.
"Buck...Buck, cut it out, I'm tryin' to-hey! Alright, Mister, that's it! No hands!" Ditzy said, slapping Buck's hands away.
"But I wanna touch boobs!" Buck whined. Ditzy smiled and rolled her eyes.
"Just sit still, okay? I wanna take care of you this time..."
Buck's cock announced its presence with a light slapping sound at Ditzy's cheek.
"And there's the little big guy..." Ditzy murmured. "Gosh, he's, uh, he's bigger up close." 
"Well, I don't like to brag."
"Shh. I'm tryin' to concentrate. Lemmie just..." Ditzy's brow furrowed as she tried to figure out where to start. Her eyes focused on Buck's cock between blinks, then went off-center once more as she kissed gently from base to tip. Her fingers closed around the base of the shaft and squeezed while she peppered Buck's tip with affection. 
"Buck, could you maybe scooch forward a little? I wanna get'im pointing straight up."
Buck nodded and shuffled down until his ass was almost hanging off the couch.
"Is it weird that I wanna boop your nose with my dick?"
"Why?"
"'cause you're too damn cute."
"I can be other stuff besides cute, you know..." Ditzy pouted, stroking Buck's cock with light fingers.
"Ahhh..." A moan slipped out of Buck as Ditzy's fingers glided over his glans.
"Hm?" Ditzy blinked, then traced around the back of Buck's glans, right under the lip.
Buck moaned again, his cock pulsing in Ditzy's hand.
"You're sensitive back here, huh?" 
"Issat surprising?"
"No, I just thought most guys were like...nevermind. One sec." Ditzy lifted her shirt up, got a little stuck in there, then tossed it across the room, letting her breasts drop heavily into Buck's lap.
Buck's hands came up, intent on grabbing mammaries, but Ditzy smiled and pushed them away.
"No hands! Me and the girls are gonna bully this dick that's been bullying me!" Ditzy spit into her palm, then started jerking Buck slowly. Her mischievous smile was totally alien to Buck.
"Are you about to...hhhaahh! Okay, okay, you're the boss!" Ditzy swirled her tongue around Buck's cock head, shutting his protests off in an instant.
Buck sat back and let Ditzy work. It was a far cry from the aggressive wringing out that Adagio subjected him to after game night, but it was more sloppy and cautious than the sensual slurping from the make-up sex they'd had. Ditzy wasn't super sure what she was doing, that was clear, so Buck tried to banish the image of Adagio's lips slipping down to the base and let out low, encouraging grunts as Ditzy wet his cock with her spit.
"There...nice and slick. Now let me..." Ditzy mumbled. She guided Buck's length into the canyon of her cleavage, then frowned as it slipped out. 
"Need some help?"
"I got it, I got it, just lay back!" Ditzy's mouth scrunched into an expression of concentration, once again filling Buck with the urge to kiss her over and over again until the end of time. After a few slips, Ditzy got Buck settled between her breasts. A thin stream of saliva drizzled over his cock head for good measure, and then Ditzy sandwiched the shaft between her breasts with a light slap. 
Buck was caught in a totally new feeling. He'd done all sorts of things for cash, many of which he wasn't proud of, but no girl pays to give a boob job. It's simply not done. 
It was like being trapped between two soft, squishy cushions. Only the very top of his tip was visible as Ditzy squeezed down and bounced her breasts in his lap. Her pace was uneven, but the heavenly softness was so sweet and tender Buck worried that he might not be able to go back to hand jobs after this. 
"Ooh...lookit that face! Did no one ever give you one of these, Buck? Is it good? Do you like my big boobies rubbing all over your little guy?" Ditzy giggled, rolling Buck's cock back and forth between her breasts.
"Fuck...fuck...this's...fuck, you're good at this, Muffin!"
"Shh...Dinky's sleeping right in the other room...!"
Ditzy's breasts came down again with a soft slapping noise. Buck grunted and whined as she leaned down to pepper his tip with tiny kisses. The tenderness of it made Buck's brain fire like a stalling engine.
"It's been a while for me....but from the way you're goin' on, I guess it doesn't matter." Ditzy said. Her bouncing breasts had started off slow, but now she lifted them and squeezed down on Buck's tip, rubbing her breasts up and down and a faster pace. The look in her off-center eyes was almost innocent, but the smile on Ditzy's face seemed like a dare. How fast could she go before Buck's low grunts turned into moans?
Buck covered his mouth and held on, but his hips started rising to meet Ditzy's breasts as she tortured his tip with her pillowy vice. 
"You're already starting to twitch a lil' bit..." Ditzy bit her lip and picked up the pace. Buck's breath got shakier, and he shut his eyes, focusing on the pleasure and the soft hums of exertion that Ditzy made. 
The build-up was slow, but Ditzy kept a look of concentration on her face while she pleasured Buck. Soon enough, Buck's grunts turned into breathy moans as he approached the finish line.
"Is my big strong Buck gonna cum? Gonna cum all over Ditzy's boobies?" Ditzy spat another wad of spit on Buck's cock and sped up even more. The lewd slapping sound and the slippery squeezing pushed Buck closer and closer to the edge. His concern fell away, and he let himself lose to the pleasure.
Buck's hands shot out and grabbed Ditzy's shoulders, and then he started thrusting desperately upward into Ditzy's cleavage. Through his grunts and twitching eye, he caught Ditzy's furious blush and her demure, downcast eyes.
"Fuck...fuck!
"Eep!" Ditzy squeaked in surprise as Buck fired off a thick load, then another and another. Buck stroked her shoulders as he caught his breath, waiting for the orgasmic haze to wear off.  His eye finally opened, and he saw Ditzy with a thick, ropy strand across her face. He had cum over her eye, into her hair, and all over her breasts.
"Geez..." Ditzy peeked at Buck with one eye. Her little smile hadn't left.
"Oh man, hold on!" Buck sprung up and returned with a hankie. "I got it, I got it." 
"You really go off when you get there, huh?" Ditzy laughed, and Buck laughed right along with her.
"Maybe you're just talented, Muffin. Those were freakin' fireworks."
"Maybe give me a little bit more warning next time?" 
"Next time? That seems like a once a year sorta thing...unless you wanna spoil me?" Buck smiled. 
"Hmm...maybe if you're good." Ditzy said. Now cleaned off, she hopped up in Buck's lap and let their foreheads touch. Buck's hands slid down to grab her ass.
"I'm good! When am I not good?"
"I think you're bein' pretty naughty right now, Mister Purple Prose."  
"Yeah? Is that what you want?" Buck growled, cupping Ditzy's breasts and lifting them up to his face. His kissing and licking made Ditzy mewl and hum, but after a few moments under his affections, she felt him hardening beneath her again.
"Buck...wait." 
Buck let go and pulled back. Ditzy took his hands. The smile on her face was impossibly sad.
"I know I said we'd figure it out, but...I don't think I can do penetration. Some stuff happened, and..."
"And it was traumatic, and you're still recovering."
"It was a long time ago..."
"It don't matter how long ago it was. If it's still fresh, it's still fresh. And it's okay. I'm not mad, Muffin." Buck squeezed her tight. Ditzy buried her face against his neck and started sobbing. All Buck could do was stroke her back and give her this moment. She had to be safe here, in his arms. He needed to be that safe space for her.
"You are! You're mad at me!"
"No, Ditzy, it's okay. It's okay."
"I didn't think...I didn't think it would be like this, I'm sorry!" 
"You're alright, Ditzy. I've got you."
For a while, that's all there was. Buck holding Ditzy tight as she wept against his neck. In time, her breathing slowed, and she pulled away from Buck, wiping her puffy eyes.
"I'm sorry about that...I just...when I think about it, I feel so broken, and I know you need more, but I can't, and I just, and this is so not sexy...I ruined it, didn't I?"
"Ditzy?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I kiss you?"
Ditzy's eyes went wide. She searched Buck's face for any malice or jokes, but all she got was earnest care. A gentle warmth lifted the heavy shame from her shoulders, and she nodded quickly, and Buck's lips came to hers.
The tears turned joyous as she held him close. He hadn't gone soft. It didn't matter. Buck started to pull away, but Ditzy's held him there, sitting in the sweet bliss of his affection until she had to come up for air. 
"Not broken. Hurt. You need to heal, Muffin."
"Therapy is expensive..."
"Well...I know a girl. Offered me a free consultation. Might could get a discount goin' on future sessions. I could let you take it instead." 
"But what about you, Buck?"
"What about me? I've got a little change set aside, remember? I could probably hook you up with a treatment plan usin' that. No problem."
"Buck..."
"'sides, it's Silver Spoon. I'm pretty sure she's in lesbians with Scoots, an' she's tryin' to use me as a 'in' 'cause she went and ballsed it up. Which is funny, 'cause I don't even know Scoots super well, but I guess we're bros now, so-"
"Buck! What about your mental health? Who's gonna take care of you?"
"Don't worry about that. I'm gonna do this for you." Buck kissed Ditzy's forehead. "You've been takin' care of Dinky, and you've been takin' care of me. It's about time I paid you back some, don't you think?"
She was crying again. Ditzy took Buck's face in her hands and kissed him over and over.
"Hey...hey, it's alright! We're in this together, okay? You and me, and Dinky too. You're not alone, Ditzy Doo. Now, I think it might be time for you to turn in."
Buck rose, but Ditzy clung to him. Her arms were around his neck.
"...you're not gonna let go, are you?" Buck chuckled.
"Uh-uh."
"You're gonna be mad if I don't sleep with you and Dinky tonight, huh?"
"Uh-huh."
"Will you at least let us get into pyjamas?"
"Mhm."
"Okay. Can I kiss you some more when we get in bed?"
"Please."
Buck lifted Ditzy and carried her like a princess back to her bedroom. The rest of the night was pure peace, and after an indeterminate amount of time spent smooching in the darkness, Buck finally drifted off.
In the space between waking and private, senseless fantasies, Buck remembered his Dad's lessons.
A man gives freely of himself.
A man believes a woman.
A man loves. 
For the last few years of his life, Buck hadn't felt like much of anything, let alone a man. Finally, as he lay with the family he had found, he was starting to feel it. Starting to feel that maybe he could be the pillar that stopped the sky from falling on top of Ditzy and Dinky. Maybe he could be something like a man after all.
It was like he was turning solid and sturdy. He was sure if he tried his hardest, he could bear the weight. There was a sort of pride in that—the pride his father had.
Buck felt that pride fill his chest, but as he sunk feet first into the endless horizons in his head, he realized something crucial that he had missed.
Pride and Happiness are not the same thing. 




> ((Explicit)) Chapter 27 - The Wrong Direction (Passenger)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Buck's mother had always said that the first step to achieving success was to visualize it, but for a life like Buck's, where failure was the status quo, success was a vague and distant star, long burned out but still shining. Out of reach.
Every version of success was like that to Buck; achievement, finances, love--especially love. No matter what he tried, he always felt like he was going in the wrong direction.
For Scootaloo, the answer was much, much simpler, and no less elusive. 
But we'll get to that.
For the first few weeks of summer, Buck and Scoots watched the grind at Sugar Cube Corner slow to a crawl, but now, as the days grew longer, hotter, and eye-searingly brighter, things were starting to pick up.
The Passionfruit Jalapeño Ice Cream Cake Poppers were disturbingly popular, and they were starting to sell out every week. This swapped the idol drudgery of the low season with a summer rush that wouldn't let up until a few minutes to close. And that was on a slow day. There was no time to prepare, emotionally or physically. One day it was quiet, and then...
"Scoots, I need more cups up here!"
"Can't! Somebody just took a dump in the sink!"
Sugar Cube Corner swarmed with impatient, sugar-starved spring breakers. This was on top of the usual rogue's gallery of wine moms, high school students with disposable income, and needlessly complicated corporate orders.
"Scoots, I'm gonna need another box of cupcakes! Where's Ditzy?"
"She had another delivery!" 
"Shit, how far out?"
"Way downtown! I think it's another office?"
"Who orders catering from a sweet shop!? Literally who!? Why can't they just bribe their staff with a pizza party like a normal company!?"
Scoots had been scuttling frantically between drinks and cleanup while Buck desperately smiled and joked his way through the endless line of sweaty customers.
"Yes ma'am, we've got some ice cream on the menu now, no we don't do cones, no you can't get a refund, you haven't paid yet, no ma'am we don't serve donuts with mayo on them!" Buck swapped to the other register. "Yes sir, we've got jelly donuts in stock, we've always got jelly donuts, how many do you need? Hey, how's it goin', I'm diggin' that Hawaiian shirt, directions to the boardwalk? Yeah man, just drive north from Center, you're gonna hit it. No sir our bathroom is occupied at the moment, no Berry Punch, we don't have any rum balls and you know you're banned, you're gonna get me in trouble!" 
Round after round of sugary confections flew from the shelves so fast that at some point, Buck could swear he was just tossing them at the crowd. As he smiled and waved his way through the mouth of madness, he caught glimpses of Ditzy's candy-striped delivery uniform passing by on the way to the kitchen. A flash of her smile or a little wave as she made her way back out to her car kept Buck going.
No matter how trash the day was, at least Buck knew he had Ditzy to go home to, and that made all the difference. 
When the crowd finally died down, Buck and Scoots worked at the pace of normal folks trying to get home at a reasonable hour. That is to say, they busted their asses and still managed to clock out twenty minutes after closing. As they stumbled out into the parking lot, Buck's phone buzzed.
"Hey, Muffin. Still mopping up the last delivery of the day? Uh-huh? Oh. Well, damn. Yeah, yeah, language, right. Okay, well, will I see you tonight? Okay. Alright. Love you."
Scoots rolled her eyes while Buck mumbled into the phone.
"Welp. Ditzy's out for the night." Buck said, walking in the direction of the bus stop.
"What happened?"
"Parent-teacher conference. Dinky got in another fight."
"Oh, geez."
"Yeah, she's a scrappy kid. Gonna go far." Buck smiled.
"Pssh. Don't let Ditzy hear you say that."
"Yeah, yeah. Dink's been havin' trouble focusing in class, too, so there's no tellin' how long it'll go. I'm on my own for food. Which means takeout."
"It does?"
"Yep. Fridge is empty. We didn't go for groceries on Wednesday, remember? Both you and Sunburst were too busy, and Ditzy had a shift."
"That's rough."
"I'll manage. You doin' anything tonight?"
"Nah. It'll be too dark to run the track by the time I get over there."
"Wanna fuck at my place?"
Scoots blinked and felt reality shatter.
"Whuh?"
"I said, do you wanna get fucked up at my place? I got some edibles from Cauldron Bubbles."
"T-Thought you'd never ask!" Scoots recovered, but the sudden blush on her face wouldn't leave until they were at Buck's apartment. She said to herself that she must've heard him wrong. All this magic stuff must be getting to her head. Buck wouldn't...he wouldn't offer something like that when he was with Ditzy.
"Does that bother you?"
"What?"
"I said I'm givin' you half a gummie, since you're so small. Does that bother you?"
"No, no, it's fine! Probably for the best; I don't wanna stumble outta here all messed up."
Buck was using a butter knife to perform surgery on an odd, candy-coated bit of purple gummy stuff. It smelled like a good time. Scoots couldn't remember the last time she had THC, but since Buck was so casual about it, she didn't turn it down. They had both been stressed.
"Scoots, if it gets like that, you can crash on the couch if you want. I don't mind."
"Would Ditzy be okay with that?"
"I mean, I don't know that she wouldn't." Buck shrugged. "She trusts you, I think."
"More like she doesn't think I'll steal you. Does she know that we-"
"Nah. Never came up."
"Are you gonna tell her?"
"I don't think so." 
Buck took his gummy, then passed Scoots her half. After a half-hour, the two of them ate some garbage fast food. After two hours, another garbage fast food order came through, but it was just a bag full of chicken nuggets.
It was about that time that Buck booted up smash bros, and with all those factors in play, Scoots and Buck had assembled the recipe for a fun night. 
"Hey....how come you always play evil characters?"
"I'm playin' Duck Hunt."
"Duck Hunt is super evil! And you play Ganondorf and Incineroar!"	
"I also play Pichu. What's your point?"
"Anybody with ladder combos counts as evil!"
"Ha! Whatever, Scoots! You always complain when you're gettin' cooked!" 
"I'm just saying, you like being devious!"
"I do?"
"You showed up to the boardwalk looking like a Sailor Moon villain!"
"Well yeah, I thought 'dagio would like it."
"And when you play Dangle, you're always up to something!"
"Yeah, he's a bard!"
"You're a bard!"
"I guess?"
"So you're totally a villain!"
"Nuh-uh! I'm neutral good, at worst!"
"Chaotic good! Bards are like, like rascals!"
"Okay, sure."
"See! So there's nothing to worry about!"
"What're you talkin' about, Scoots?"
"Well, like, Starlight is worried that Adagio is gonna groom you, and I think it's because she thinks Adagio will make you a villain. But, like, you're already a villain, basically, so there's nothing to worry about!"
Scoots was hanging upside down from the lip of the couch. Her eyes were red, and she seemed to be looking somewhere past the screen. Buck stared at her with glazed eyes and, in return received an earnest smile that banished his frown.
"Do you only play sword characters because you're a sub?"
"Shut up, Buck!"
"What? There's nothin' wrong with drinkin' sub juice!"
"You're a sub!"
"Eh, sometimes." 





As Ditzy drove through the darkened streets of Canterlot, her side-eye caught Dinky Doo rubbing her eyes. There hadn't been much to say. When a child is in trouble, their parent is in trouble. That's just how it is, but Ditzy had come off an especially tough shift, and as thanks, she had to apologize for her daughter's behavior and listen to a teacher drag her for the third time this semester.
"Mama..." Dinky sobbed.
"It's okay, Dinky. Just tell mama what happened."
"They called me dumb, mama! I was s'posed to read a page from hungry caterpillar, but I messed it up, and I tried, but I messed it up again, and they laughed at me! They said I was a dumb baby who can't read!"
"Okay, Dinky, okay, but you can't-"
"But I tried! I tried, and I tried but the letters got all jumbled! It wasn't my fault, mama!"
"But Dinky, I've told you. You can't just hit people that make fun of you. You have to tell a teacher!"
"But they don't put them in the timeout corner when they make fun of me! It's not fair! Teacher says it's 'cause I'm different! I don't wanna be different!"
The car stopped at a red light while Ditzy fought valiantly against her own tears. She thought because Dinky was born with normal eyes, she'd be fine in school, but now Dinky was bawling her eyes out in the back seat, just like she had done.
She couldn't let Dinky make the same mistakes she'd made. She would not let her daughter fail just for being different.
"It's not because you're different. Those kids say those things because they know it'll hurt your feelings. When they make fun of you, it's not because you're different; it's because they're mean. There's nothin' wrong with you, Dinky." 
"Why am I so bad at reading, Mama? Everyone else can read good, why can't I?" Dinky whined.
"You can read good, Dinky, you just have to try harder than them. I know it's hard, but you can do it!" 
"Okay, mama."
"But Dinky, you have to promise mama that you won't hit the other kids again. I know it might seem right to start swinging when someone hurts your feelings, or when you want something, but it's not right. Don't let them get to you like that, okay?"
"But...mama? When that witch was mean to you at the fair, you hit her a bunch!"
"Hm?"
"At the fair, mama! You were in armor, and you fought that mean witch lady that Buck likes!"
"I...well...uh..."
It was the moment every parent fears—the moment your kid catches you in a bit of hypocrisy. 
"That...that was different. Mama was protecting Buck."
"So I can hit them if they're mean to someone else?"
"No, Dinky! If kids are being mean, you tell a teacher!"
"But they'll call me a tattle-tale again!"
"It doesn't matter what they say, Dinky. If it gets too bad, you tell mama, and mama will handle it."
"Okay, mama..."
"Now, mama didn't have time to cook tonight. Do you wanna go get some mcdonalds?"
"Yeah yeah yeah!"
Ditzy heaved a sigh. For the sake of Dinky's future, she had to teach her how to get through school.  She shuddered to think how middle school would treat her daughter. It would only get worse from here, and today's kids seemed even crueler than the ones from back in her day.
And maybe she needed to practice what she was preaching.





"Sunburst?"
"Switch."
"Starlight?"
"Sub. Huge sub! Sunburst makes all the moves!"
"Ms. Cake?"
"Pillow princess."
"Mr. Cake?"
"Dom. But probably not 'cause he wants to."
"Okay, smart guy, then what's Adagio? Do you think she's a sub, too?"
"Power bottom. Definitely."
"What? She's totally a top! She's aggressive!"
"She's needy. She gets like that when she wants attention. Trust me, she likes being on the bottom. She 100% wants to play the bad girl and then get punished. "
"I mean she does really like sucking your dick..."
"She loves suckin' dick! Loves it!" Buck laughed. He may or may not have taken another half of a gummy for the fuck of it. Smash was forgotten, and now Buck and Scoots had some sort of playlist going. At the moment, Buck's TV looked like a portal to the vaporwave dimension.
"So you like that? Girls that're needy?"
"I like...the feeling of bein' wanted, you know? You know me; I get it up real easy and real hard, so it's nice when someone comes back with that same sorta energy. 'dagio's got it."
"Boner energy?"
"Sounds like an energy drink. Man, it's gettin' late. I hope everything's okay with Ditzy and Dinky."
"I'm sure it's fine, bro! You worry too much!"  
"Yeeeaaah...yeah, I do. I dunno, I was lookin' forward to cuddlin' up tonight."
Buck was sitting on the floor. He was staring up at the ceiling with a small smile on his face. Scoot slid down the couch and lightly thudded to the carpet next to Buck but took care not to touch him. She thought about what Adagio had said right before magic practice. She missed Applebloom and Sweetie Belle, and how well she knew them. She wondered, even if they were to hang now, would she still know them?
"Hey Buck..."
"Yeah, Scoots?"
"Do you ever feel like...like you're a background character in your own life?"	
"Every time I stand behind the register, Scoots."
"That's not what I mean. I mean like...I dunno, do you ever feel like you don't matter? Like what you do and say isn't important?"
"Oh yeah, totally. I used to hang with the Rainbooms. Compared to them, I'm not even a background character. I'm like a character that doesn't even show up on screen."
"I get what you mean..." Scoots said, trailing off into an awkward quiet. Buck looked over at her sullen expression and smiled.
"Hey, what did the plumber say to the pornstar?"
"Huh?"
"NICE PIPES!"
"Oh my god, you're so corny!" Scoots laughed, pushing Buck. He tumbled over to his side and stayed there, smiling. It made Scoots feel a little less silly for opening up. "Okay, so you do get what I mean, though. Like your choices don't matter?"
"I used to. Hell, all of the Rainbooms are the main character of their own story. "
"Yeah, they always seemed so perfect."
"Until you got to know 'em." Buck and Scoots shared a chuckle. "But I know that they all had times when they felt powerless and that they didn't have any good choices, too. We all do! Nowadays, I feel like I'm way too damn important. Don't get me wrong; I'm still a total nobody, but now everybody suddenly has an opinion about me, and I feel like I'm bein' pulled in three or four different directions."
"Oh, lookit me, mah names' Buck, and I think it sucks that everybody wants to get on mah dick!" Scoots said in a butchered impression.
"You don't wanna be a main character, Scoots. Bein' a main character sucks."
"I dunno...I guess what I mean is, I wonder if I can even make a difference. Maybe if I had some of that main character juice, I wouldn't be..."
"What?"
"I dunno. I guess I don't know what I'm talkin' about. Dumb."
"No, no, finish the thought! I wanna hear what you think."
"Really?"
"Always!"
"And you won't get mad?"
"Well damn, I dunno. But I'll listen."
"Buck, why're you dating Ditzy instead of Adagio?"
Buck blinked slowly with a scrunched expression.
"What?"
"Like, I know Adagio is mean, but you said it yourself, she doesn't mean you any harm, and she's like super, super into you! And she's rich, and hot and she wants to teach you magic!"
"Scoots, I made my choice."
"But she's...look, I know she acts like she doesn't care, but she super, definitely misses you. Are you still mad at her?"
"No."
"So why aren't you with her? I don't get it. I mean, Ditzy is nice and all, but Adagio's in a whole other league."
"But she doesn't love me, Scoots. Ditzy Doo loves me. Dinky loves me too!"
"Ew!"
"Like a Dad, Scoots. For fuck's sake. Point is; they love me, and they need me. Adagio doesn't; not really. What we had, and what we have...it was always transactional. Even though I was lookin' for love, what we ended up having was a lot more shallow than I expected. She was playing me, and even though we really hit it off, it was never gonna last. What me and Ditzy have is more real, I guess. Feels like somethin' that could stick around for a while."
"But didn't you say that things weren't working out in the bedroom?"
"We're figuring that out. It's fine. I just...being with Ditzy, it's not that it's easier, it's just less, I dunno, less sensational. Ditzy's down to earth, and she wants me, not because I'm magic, but because I'm me. No strings. Adagio says she wants to be colleagues now, but that could just be her manipulating me again."
"Yeah..."
"But for now, it's fine."
"Is it, though? Don't you miss being, you know, sexy? Adagio is kind of a "down for everything" kinda lady, and Ditzy's so...vanilla."
"You know what I think, Scoots?"
"What's that?"
"I think it's a good thing me and Adagio met, but I don't think either of us was ready to be with each other. That's why it didn't work. I've got a lot of damage and she doesn't..."
"Doesn't do emotions good?"
"Yeah."
"That's fair."
"I know she's not the kind of stone-cold bitch she says she is. I know she can care, and I think she's trying to fix what she screwed up, but all this drama and fighting and shit; I can't take it."
"Most guys would love having girls fight over them!"
"Well, I fuckin' don't. I don't want nobody to fight over me. I want everybody to get along, but I don't think that's gonna happen as long as Ditzy loves me and Adagio wants me."
"She's not gonna give up on you, you know? She really does care about you."
"She's obsessed."
A heavy silence hung over Scoots. For a few seconds or an eternity, Scoots hugged her knees to her chest and tried to collect herself.
"She just wants you to see her like she wants to be seen."
"The fuck does that mean?"
"She's...like, she's fixating on you, and she wants you to care about her the same way, but you're not, and she's...she's gonna do whatever it takes to get you to notice her, and I know it seems a little crazy, but she's not trying to hurt you or anything, she just wants that same kinda energy from you, it's like you said! Why does that have to be wrong?" Scoots sat up. Her hands balled up into fists, and she was glaring at Buck with tears in her eyes.
"...are we still talkin' 'bout 'dagio?" Buck sat up.
"I know you've got Ditzy and Dinky to think about. I know! But, but Adagio really, really cares about you, so it still feels wrong that she's trying so hard to help you, and you still treat her like she's a, a, I don't know! It's not fair that she has to prove herself, when she's been on your side the whole time!" Scoots pushed Buck limply, but he didn't budge.
"She's on her side. I'm just a tool to her. Even if she misses me, that fact don't change."
"But you're still nice to her! You vouched for her!"
"Just because things're cool right now, that doesn't mean I'm gonna let her screw with me again." 
"She's just trying to help you!"
"For now." 
"Uggghhhh!" Scoots pressed her face into the couch cushions and groaned.
"What the fuck would you have me do, Scoots? I'm doin' my best here." 
"I dunno, I dunno!"
Scoots rose to her feet. The high was definitely wearing off, and she was sure that she'd screwed everything up.
"Sorry...I didn't mean to mess with the vibe. I'm gonna go." 
"You sure?"
"Yeah. I'm gonna be up early. Gotta train for regionals."	
"Oh damn, is it that time of year?"
"Yeah. Somebody's gotta rep CCU, and if it's gonna be me, I gotta stay on top of the charts. I'm probably only gonna work one day outta the week, too."
"Alright, Scoots."
Scoots turned for the door, then stopped, her whole body tensing up.
"Do you care if I'm not around as much?"
"Huh? Well, yeah! I'll miss you, but you gotta do what you gotta do."
"Are you mad at me? Because of what I said?"
"Naw, Scoots. We can argue and still be friends."
"We're friends?"
"Well, duh! We've bled together, we've slept together, we work together--of course we're friends!"
Scoots turned and squeezed Buck, who was halfway to his feet. At this height, Scoots didn't have to jump to wrap her arms around his neck. For a bit, there were no words. Scoots didn't seem to want to let go.
"You wanna text me the date that regionals is goin' on? So I can cheer you on?"
"Okay, bro." 
"You don't have to go if you don't want, Scoots. You're always welcome here, I mean it." Buck said, patting her back. 
"You want me to spend the night?"
"Well, sure! It's late, but we can still have fun, right?" 
Scoots stiffened, then pulled back.
She stared into Buck's eyes, looking incredulous.
"What?" Buck said.
Scoots leaned in and kissed him. Buck's eyes went wide for a moment; then he pushed her away.
"Scoots, what the fuck?"
"I'm sorry! I thought you-I didn't...I need to go!" 
That was all Buck heard as Scoots ran out the door.





Whenever Scoots didn't know what to do, she ran. Crazy magic happenstance? Run toward it. Weird, confusing emotions? Run away. Tired? Run. Hungry? Run. Horny?
Scootaloo ran. She hadn't even stopped to grab her board on the way out, and now she was way too embarrassed to go back and get it. It was dark and cold, and the streets of the city were more dangerous than ever. Scootaloo didn't want to wait at the bus stop alone, so she ran.
There was no space for doubt or worry when she ran. There was nothing but pumping arms and breathing technique and posture. When Scoots ran, nothing else had to matter. 
She ran and she ran until her lungs burned and her legs were shaking, and somehow, in that rush of fear and adrenaline, she made it back to her dorm.
Scootaloo's dorm was empty this semester. It was just her.
She gulped down a glass of tap water, then another, so fast she thought she would throw up. 
She hated how quiet it was.
Her only company was a shelf with a bunch of small trophies on it. A lot of third places near the bottom shelf, but as her eyes traveled up, she saw the bronze turn to silver. She had worked hard to get where she was.
It was her last semester. Her eyes hit the floor as the weight of that knowledge settled onto her.
Behind the shelf, a frame sat against the wall. Before, it had hung triumphantly over all of Scootaloo's achievements, a grand and illustrious goal to keep her motivated. Keep her running. 
Now, it sat cracked, having fallen sometime near the start of the year. 
A cyan cheek, a bit of rainbow-colored hair, and a single magenta eye peaked out at Scootaloo through the dust.
That eye carried judgment and all the weird feelings that were twisted up in Scootaloo's guts.
Even now, Scootaloo couldn't face her. Not until she caught up.
The lights turned off. 
Scoots slumped, fully clothed into bed, and she cried.
Tomorrow she would run again, and maybe then she wouldn't have to think too hard.





"Buck?  Are you okay?" 
"Huh? Yeah, Muffin, I'm good."
Buck looked up wearily from his laptop's screen.  In front of him was a word document, and in a staggering change of pace, it had several pages worth of words, presented in a sequence of paragraphs that were legible and understandable. 
"Did you eat?"
Ditzy's breasts settled heavily on Buck's shoulder.
"Yeah...probably too much. Me and Scoots got high and ate a buncha nuggies."
"Sounds like a fun night." Ditzy kissed the top of his head and slid her arms around him.
"How was the nag session?"
"Ditzy is getting bullied, and she's lashing out."
"Do you want me to talk to her when I'm sober?"
"Would you? I feel like I didn't say the right words. You're good at those!" Ditzy's cheek squished against Buck's. "What're you workin' on?"
Buck immediately clicked off the tab.
"Nothin'."
"What? Let me see!"
"You don't wanna see this."
"Come on, Buck, you know I love seeing what you're workin' on! Lemmie see!" Ditzy giggled playfully, reaching far over to click the mouse.
It was a document titled 'Interesting Spell Ideas', and it was filled with paragraphs of weird descriptions in comic sans. Some of them were strange and vague, others were somewhat graphic, but all of them were offbeat and kind of concerning.
"This stuff is supposed to help you protect yourself? There's...there's a surprising amount of sex stuff in here. She's not teaching you sex stuff, is she!?" Ditzy said, looking down at Buck.
"No! I can only do really minor spells so far, but I had a bunch of thoughts about it, so I was brain dumping, you know?" Ditzy frowned and squinted at the screen.
"...can you really make your...diddly taste like chocolate?"
"No. Maybe? Probably, if I practice. Why, do you wanna try it?" 
"No! No magic here, thank you very much!" Ditzy said, hands on her hips.
"Fair enough. My magic is pretty fuckin' explosive, and I don't wanna hurt nobody, so I was thinkin' of spells that might be useful for other things than fighting.
"Like making your diddly chocolate flavored."
"Could be useful, you never know."
"I just thought you'd wanna learn, like, a shield. Or I dunno, maybe how to shoot lasers, or somethin'? I guess I don't really get how it works."
"Well, it's actually pretty interesting. It's like a whole field of study, and people have different opinions about it, and there's this whole history to it. Some look at it as a science, or an equation, and others look at it as an art, and they're both valid interpretations! I need spells that'll fit my personality. How they come out is based on emotion, right, so of course my magic's gonna be pretty wild if I don't get a handle on it." Buck rambled.
"Whaddya mean? You're super mild-mannered!"
"Ditzy, I'm a flaming wreck of anxiety and PTSD. If the world was in any way fair, I'd be on meds right now, and would'a been for years. Add magic on top of that, and I'm a disaster waitin' to happen."
"Well, I think you're the gentlest, sweetest man in the world and that's not up for debate, even if do you have magic." Ditzy draped her arms around Buck's neck from behind once again. 
"That does help, honestly. You know, you did real good against Smolder at the fair. If you want, I could teach you a little bit about this stuff?"
"No."
"You sure?" 
"I don't wanna be anywhere near that stuff, Buck. I wish you didn't have to learn it."
"Okay, sorry."
"But you're making progress?"
"Sorta. It's slow goin'."
"Okay, as long as you're safe," Ditzy said. Buck sighed, and a bit of normality returned to the room, but it was shattered by Ditzy's next words. "Did you have fun with Scootaloo?"
"Yeah. Yeah, it was real chill! Until she kissed me."
"She did what!?" Ditzy balked. 
"I don't think she meant it. She's been stressed and I think she got a little confused. Don't get mad at her, please."
Buck heard Ditzy take a deep breath, her hands clenching for a moment.
"Geez, Buck. I can't leave you alone for a second!" Ditzy huffed. "With your big, smoochable face!" Buck's world was eclipsed by mommy milkers as Ditzy leaned down to squeeze him.
"You're...bein' surprisingly nonchalant about this."
"Silver Spoon told me I ought to recognize that I can't babysit you all the time, and be a little more optimistic about what happens to you and the choices you make. And she's right...I can't keep worrying myself into a fit when something weird happens to you! It's not healthy."
"Ah. Therapy." Buck scratched his chin, appreciating the fine details of the polka dot pattern on Ditzy's blouse. "So the first sesh went good, then?"
"Yeah! Thanks again for that, seriously. I know it was a sacrifice for you..."
"I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Any luck on another babysitter?"
"No. Tell Sunburst I really appreciate him lookin' out for Dinky, okay?"
"You know at this rate, you might think about payin' him. Dinky really likes being over there."
"I dunno...I worry that she might be a little too much for Starlight?"
"Starlight's got a problem with Dink?"
"It's complicated."
"Always is." Buck sighed. "You want me to go say somethin' about that?"
"No, it's fine for now. I know she can be kind of harsh, but she's been through a lot, just like the rest of us."
"Yeah...That girl needs a hobby or somethin'. Or she needs to get laid."
"Buck!"
"Or both. Both is probably good."





"And you're sure?" Sunburst said, tightening a strap.
"Of course I'm sure!" Starlight said. Her face was flushed in the dark of Sunburst's bedroom.  Her arms were up over her head, her wrists secured with a fuzz-lined belt. 
"I just think it's a weird time for it, not that I'm complaining." Sunburst said with a smile. 
Starlight was covered by a thin sheet, and it was very obvious she was covered by nothing else underneath.
"Don't be coy, Sunburst, I know you can feel it too! Every since Buck's little outburst, things have been..."
"A little hot?" Sunburst said, undoing his belt. "I have to admit, it's cute seeing you get so needy..."
Sunburst's hand went beneath the covers, then up the slender curve of Starlight's leg.
"Oh, you're enjoying this, huh?" Starlight snarked as Sunburst's hand rose to her hip. 
"Who wouldn't? You know, you didn't have to wait for a magical mishap, Starlight. If you were horny, all you had to do was ask."
Sunburst slid under the covers and planted himself between Starlight's thighs. Starlight couldn't remember the last time she'd seen him so thirsty.
"It...has to be a bit of mana transference, right? When Buck's magic flared, it caused a little bit of his aura to-"
Sunburst silenced Starlight with a kiss that started gentle but ramped up quickly. Starlight gasped and strained against her bonds as Sunburst pulled away.
"We can worry about that later, don't you think? We've been busy, and it's been months since we've gotten to just enjoy ourselves."
"Has it really been that long?" Starlight said with a sidelong glance. Sunburst cupped her chin and made her face him.
"Not since Adagio showed up. Which means we have some catching up to do."
With one rough plunge, Sunburst was inside her. Starlight lost her breath, her toes curling as Sunburst pushed in until he hilted.
"You're soaking wet, Starlight. Did you miss this? I know I did."
"Fffuck! Do you have to be so rough!?"
"You're the one who asked to be tied up...!"
Sunburst came forward with another buck of the hips.
"Well, you don't have to commit to the bit so h-hard!" Starlight whined through a smirk as Sunburst rammed her again.
"Why do you always want it like this, Starlight?"
"Sometimes it's...nice, to surrender control." Starlight mumbled.
"I'm glad you think so." Sunburst chuckled, grabbing Starlight's throat. "Because I'm not going to stop until we're both nice and satisfied!"
"You pervert!"
Starlight gasped as Sunburst buried himself in her again. Sunburst had waited patiently, and now Starlight felt a rush as she gave in to him. Her complaints faded and carmelized into breathy moans. She struggled against her bindings, her legs trying to squeeze shut, but Sunburst simply threw them open again. His thrust became sweet and gentle, just enough to tease Starlight into a begging whine before he picked up a frantic pace.
The wet suckling noises of Starlight's honey pot, the curling of her toes, and finally the feeling of her thighs squeezing his waist edged Sunburst into a frenzy of bouncing hips and low grunts as Starlight fell apart, whispering her love for him over and over as she shuddered under his assault.
Soon there was nothing but the sound of flesh slapping against flesh, shallow breaths, and finally, a shaking, squirting satisfaction.






Adagio was just getting settled in her new office. Construction on Affluent Answer's new floor was nearing completion, and the first thing finished was Harshwhinny's accouterments. Adagio's role for the coming week would be to ease herself into her managerial position. It wouldn't take much effort, certainly. Everyone in the office already feared or respected her, so she was certain that her job was about to become far more boring than ever before.
"You don't have to hover around like a nosy breezie. I can taste when you approach, Bon Bon." 
"Am I really that obvious?"
"You taste delightfully smug. I'd like to know why." Adagio treated Bon Bon with a small smile. It was by far the most congenial response that Bon Bon had gotten out of her.
Adagio's desk was polished mahogany with claw foot legs. It had already been outfitted with papers, writing implements, and an opulent-looking stamp. Adagio had just set her false aquarium in the corner. It still tasted faintly of Buck's affection.
"I know you say that you don't care much for other people's opinions, but isn't it nice to know that one good turn deserves another?"
"You're mistaken. I love to be appreciated. I live to be appreciated. I just don't care about the opinion of the masses anymore. Stardom is far too unreliable and short lived in this age of endless distractions."
"I see."
"As for my promotion, it's simple recognition of my worth to this gilded money laundering machine. There's no reason to read into it." 
The wide window overlooking the streets of Canterlot was a nice addition. At this time of night, the skyline was like stars reflecting on the ocean. The day glare would be shut out by a pair of dark blue velvet curtains. Adagio had managed to get them on sale.
"Harshwhinny seems to have taken a liking to you."
"Quality recognizes quality."
"So you're saying Harshwhinny is quality?"
"For a human."
"Do you think that your associates would appreciate you saying that?"
"Do you recognize the woman in this photograph?" Adagio tapped her phone and held it out to Bon Bon.
"...that matches the description that Starlight Glimmer gave us. We haven't located the body, which we assume means that it was extricated by our enemies. If we could have that picture, it would make the investigation quite a bit easier."
Bon Bon reached, then Adagio snatched the phone away.
"And what do I get for giving this little morsel to you?"
"What do you want?"
"Information. For instance; why is Buck not being monitored and protected? What is your organization doing to prevent dastards from teleporting into Canterlot and raising havoc? If your organization is so high and mighty, why did I have to step in and save one of your 'agents' in the thick of combat? If I didn't know any better, I'd mistake your incompetence for negligence." Adagio smiled. Bon Bon didn't make any outward expression, but a bitter taste tickled the tip of Adagio's tongue.
"Contrary to popular belief, Canterlot is not the only place in the world that suffers the odd magical anomaly. We have other agents and other interests. Surveillance is the best we can do at the moment. As for Buck, he's not a high priority. His power was an unknown unknown until just recently, and until it's better understood, he is to be regarded as an anomaly, as opposed to an asset to protect."
"Isn't that a bit short-sighted?"
"It wasn't my decision to make. The Pillars don't consider him a threat."
"And you do? Have you met the man? Buck is harmless without his magic." Adagio bluffed.
"If he was, I severely doubt that you would keep targeting him." Bon Bon smirked. "And since you refuse to leave him alone, I consider you a potential threat as well."
"So you have some sense after all. That's good to know." 
"You must be in a good mood. That was almost a compliment!" 
"No, that was being charitable. From all I've seen, your little organization is slow to decide and slower to act. Hardly deserving of its name, certainly. But, at the very least, you have a bit of perspective that your superiors lack." Adagio's smile shifted away from her desk and became a frown as she adjusted a painting. 
It was an antique that Adagio had found years ago, but only now did she have a proper place to hang it. Depicted in the landscape was an unstirred sea beneath a cloudy, star-dappled sky. A lone ship with tattered black flags was the only subject in the frame. The ship's deck was bereft of any silhouettes.
To Adagio, the painting was like staring in the mirror.
"I suppose its only fair that you would fear me," Adagio finished.
"I didn't say that. The organization thinks you're a pain. I think you're a threat. But that doesn't mean I'm afraid of you." Bon Bon said.
Adagio turned to her, looked at her from toe to tip, then raised an eyebrow.
"Bon Bon?"
"Yes?"
"Lying to me won't get you anywhere. I suggest you drop the bluster; it's not a good look." Adagio's tone was even, but a chill ran through Bon Bon. To her ears, it sounded like a snake's rattler.
"Why did you refuse the gems, Adagio? We offered an out, but you threw it back in our faces."
"I didn't need them."
"What are you planning to do with Buck?"
"Do you know what they are planning?"
"Excuse me?"
"Candidates' was the word that was used. Candidates with magical potential. Do you know what they plan to use them for? Or what their criteria is?"
"That is a topic of speculation at the moment."
"So your organization has an idea of it, but aren't sharing it. Why?"
"That's none of-"
"My business? No, I suppose it isn't. Just like my intentions for Buck are none of yours. I want him, and Adagio Dazzle gets what she wants. It's as simple as that."
"If you overstep your bounds, you know what will happen. We'll send our best and brightest."
"And we're back to the threats. Our little talks are nice, aren't they?"
"I'm being serious, Adagio."
"No, Bon Bon, I don't think you are!" Adagio slammed a hand down on her desk. Her eyes had gone red, and gills were flaring on her neck. Bon Bon took a step back, barely keeping her expression even. "I had to behead a marauding ghoul because your agents were too incompetent to deal with it. I stepped in to coordinate your forces and handle the threat of a dragon attack. I killed a changeling spy that was following Buck. For the last week, I've done nothing but finish your battles for you, and you have the audacity to come in here and posture at me? After implying that I'm not even on your organization's radar?"
"I didn't mean to insult you."
'I couldn't care less over the affairs of your organization or what you're doing abroad. You say they see me as a potential threat? If your negligence interferes with Buck, you can forget about "potential." I promise you, if he comes to harm, none of your "best and brightest" will be enough to protect you from me."
Adagio's nails dug into the edge of her desk with a low creak.
"...understood." Bon Bon was stock still, unflinching at Adagio's display, but her taste betrayed her emotions. Neither woman blinked.
A fluttering tone came from Bon Bon's pocket, causing her to jump. Adagio smiled and put her phone away.
"There. You have what you want, so you can leave me in peace." Adagio's expression shifted back to an aloof frown in an instant. The air in the office tasted like fear, now. She couldn't have asked for a better perfume.
"Very well. We'll be monitoring Buck's progress in the meantime." Bon Bon said, stepping into the threshold with only a slight tremble in her legs.
Adagio set down a small blue rug in the space under her desk, then pulled out a rolling chair that was dark, leathery, and intimidatingly tall. She sat and looked to Bon Bon like a villain from some Saturday morning cartoon.
"Am I going to have to knock on your door before I speak with you from now on?" Bon Bon tried, smiling.	
"Oh, Bon Bon, don't be ridiculous!" Adagio smiled back.
"Oh?"
"You can make an appointment, like anyone else."





Scootaloo was buried. The suffocating weight pressed down from every direction until Scootaloo finally broke through to the surface. With a grinding clank, she poked her head through the pile. It stretched out in every direction. Scootaloo had emerged beneath a bright blue sky with quickly rolling clouds hurrying toward the horizon. 
Beneath the sky was an endless, uneven field of metal, rubber, wood, and wheels. Everywhere Scootaloo looked, she saw discarded bats, clubs and balls, helmets, guards, and pieces of gear. Hundreds of broken skateboards. Thousands of torn-up running shoes. Desolation.
There was a boom in the sky and a flash of wings overhead. A creature more jet than falcon, with brightly painted wings, left a rainbow trail in its wake as it tore through the clouds above. 
Scootaloo ran, but her legs were too short. She tried to rise, but her wings were too small. She tried to scream, but her words turned into a hoarse clucking sound in her throat.
She ran and ran with everything she had, and the ground fell away beneath her. She couldn't see the bird anymore, just its trail through the sky, but the vapor was starting to fade away. She had to hurry.	
The sky was coming closer, and Scoots was doing everything she could, leaving a scattered trail of feathers behind her.
She rose. She touched the sky.
She fell. 
The planet of junk below was rusty and heavy and tattered. She would surely be dashed to bits once she struck, but there was no one around to catch her. The trail in the sky faded away. 
She screamed out her name, but the bird was gone.
Scootaloo tried to run, but there was no running from the ground as it rushed up to meet her.
Her frantic, squawking screams came to a sudden, brutal stop.





The frantic, squawking beep of Scootaloo's alarm clock jolted her out of bed. She was on the floor, trapped in a ball of sheets, sweat, and bed head. An annoyingly bright beam coming through the curtains and directly into her eye told her today was gonna be another scorcher. 
Rain or shine, she had to get out and run.
Scootaloo reached up and smacked the clock. It had been a gift from her aunt Lofty. It might've been her twelfth birthday. Scoots was maybe a little too embarrassed at the time, but who expects to get a chicken clock on their birthday? 
It was 6 am. 
Saturdays in summer used to be lazy and late. Applebloom was always up first, and Sweetie Belle was a pain to drag out of bed. They used to talk about the wacky dreams they'd had, plan pranks and schemes and see who could make up the dumbest idea for a video. Now the most she could get out of them was the rare video call. They were both so busy chasing their dreams while Scootaloo was here doing...what exactly?
She couldn't waste any time. She needed to get going.
Scootaloo got her shorts and supporter on in her dorm before heading out. Her high ponytail bounced out onto campus. 
She missed being part of a trio. For just a second there, Scootaloo thought she was finding something like that between Buck and Adagio, but it was over before it even started. Scootaloo sometimes still thought back to the night they shared together. All the sensual touching and the intense affection surrounding her. The overwhelming sensations and the hot breath. The moans and the quaking legs and Adagio's lips and Buck's...
Scootaloo slapped her cheeks. She couldn't get all wound up right now. She had to focus. 
Even now, when Buck's eyes fell on her, and especially when Adagio's did, it felt like she was carrying a dirty secret.
She wanted their attention just as much as she didn't want the attention of the track team.
She wasn't deaf; she could hear the guys talking about her when she passed by the quad. They were jealous, and they were horny, and they were a bunch of dumb boys. So far, there wasn't any trouble this semester. 
Scootaloo had talked to a counselor in freshman year, who hadn't done much of anything.
She started carrying a knife in sophomore year.
This year, it seemed like the jocks had learned. They left her alone when she hit the track. 
Scootaloo autopiloted through CCU's towering brownstone buildings, her focus slipping into place. Today she had to step it up a little bit. She was healthily ahead of the boy's numbers, but there was a time she was still nowhere close to catching.
She passed the locker rooms, which were two buildings upsettingly close to one another. There was some sort of rabble gathered around, but she barely noticed.
The dirt of the track shifted slightly under her feet.
She started her timer, and she was off. 
When Scoots ran, the world made sense. She had a goal to reach, and she knew how to get there. At least, she thought she did.
Along the curve of the track just ahead, she saw that goal. It wore running shorts with rainbow streaks along the sides. It had the curves of an olympian and the most confident smile Scoots had ever seen. It was a shadow, but as long as the squirt chased that shadow, she knew which way to go. 
She came back around, breathing hard. She was fifteen seconds short. It was .2 seconds worse than her last time. She had to do better. As Scootaloo took a drink from her little canteen, a sudden tap on her shoulder made her jump out of her wits.
"Gaah!"
Scootaloo dropped into a pose that looked a lot like someone pretending to know kung fu. It failed in any way to be intimidating.
"Uh...sorry?"
She was taller than Scootaloo by about a foot. Her skin was a grayish purple, and her hair was light blue and striped with pink. Her eyes were like pale red wine, and she was wearing a...green tracksuit in the middle of summer? Scoots blinked.
"Aren't you hot?"
"Uh, no? It's not even that hot out." She said, shrugging.
Scoots squinted and wiped her forehead. 
"Are you kidding me? It's like 89 degrees out!" 
"I guess that's hot for around here?" 
"Well, yeah!"
"I guess I didn't notice. Besides, the guys around here are kinda creepy and I thought that wearing a suit might get them to leave me alone?" The girl shifted uncomfortably.
"They're gonna look, no matter what you wear. Try pepper spray and a middle finger. Or a knife." Scootaloo sighed.
"Hey, you're Scootaloo, right?"
"Who wants to know?"
"...I do?" 
"....yeah, that's me."
"Well, I've heard a lot about you since I transferred. You're like, the best runner at CCU!"
The girl's earnest enthusiasm caught Scootaloo off guard.
"I mean, I guess. Haven't really earned any important trophies or anything..." Scoots mumbled at the ground.
"But regionals are coming up! That's what I wanted to ask; would it be okay if I watch you and take some notes? I want to compete, too!"
"Weeeell...I'm kinda used to flying solo around here." 
"Oh. Well, I get it if you don't want to be bothered..." The girl said, dejectedly. Scootaloo peaked at her. She had to have been a teenager, still.
"You can stay. Don't sweat it."
"Really?"
"Yeah, bet! It's not like I can just ball-hog the track all day, anyway." Scootaloo said.  "I don't think I've seen you around. What's your name, new kid?"
"My name's Wind Sprint!"
"Alright, well, I'm Scootaloo!" She hooked a thumb at herself.
"Uh, I know. I just said your name?"
Scootaloo turned red, and not from the heat. In the place of a witty retort, she turned and took off like a rocket down the track, leaving Wind Sprint to take notes.





Things had been a bit awkward around the house. Night after night, Buck and Ditzy had come home and performed what was now starting to seem like a bit of a ritual. They would curl up on the couch, too exhausted to do much of anything, then Buck would excuse himself while Ditzy turned in. He would stay up for a while, then eventually crawl into bed as quietly as possible. 
It was a sort of helplessness that made Ditzy feel sick to her stomach. There just weren't enough hours in the day or enough energy in her body to satisfy Buck. She tried once or twice to get him off; a gentle handling here or a little puff-puff there, but it took Buck what seemed like ages to orgasm, and he kept looking at her with those big puppy dog eyes and apologizing for being hard to please. Neither of them was to blame, but every night that Ditzy lay waiting for Buck to come to bed, it felt like all her fault for writing checks she couldn't cash.
Despite the pressure pushing down on the pair, when Buck finally came and settled down, he always had some sweet words and a tender kiss for Ditzy. The quality time they spent together wasn't always sexual, but the peace they found in each other's company was irreplaceable. That comfort spilled over into their date nights, which became an oasis for them both as the summer rush wore on.





Buck and Ditzy were standing on a bit of green carpeting inside a roomy warehouse. Everywhere the eye could see were strange courses featuring bizarre idol heads, fake landmarks, and a frankly shocking variety of windmills. Before them was a relatively simple course. It was a few corners with walls to bounce off and a loop de loop leading into--what else--a windmill.
"Now, let me see...do I want the nine iron or something a bit lighter?" Buck said in a faux country club accent. He had a bright red beret on his head and his best approximation of an uppity sneer.
"Buck, it's mini-golf. They're all the same." Ditzy smiled. 
"Yes, yes, well, I'm beyond any chance of catching up to your score, so I'm hoping I might find one lucky enough to help me lose gracefully." Buck took up a plastic club that was purple in color and slightly chewed in quality.
"Gracefully?"
"There's a lot of twists and turns on this one, and I'm bound to make some detours, but if I can make it to the end of the course in under ten more swings, I think that would be a respectable effort, m'dear."
"Don't you think that's a little high? Mini golf is about getting to the hole in the least number of hits."
"I guess." Buck smiled, his accent slipping. "In my opinion, mini-golf is about one thing, and one thing only."
"Oh yeah?"
Buck took his stance and wiggled his hips dramatically. He bent his knees slightly and looked at the hole.
The ball bounced on the way to the loop de loop, hit the wall, and nearly left the green entirely.
"Mini-golf is about spending as much time as you can inside a cozy air-conditioned building." Buck smiled. 
Ditzy suddenly looked around like she was afraid she'd be caught shoplifting.
"Isn't that a little sneaky?"
"Not at all! I think mini golf is great 'cause it's the opposite of regular golf."
"How do you mean?" Ditzy set her ball down on the marker. She was wearing a knee-length black skirt with red polka dots. But thought it was the cutest damn thing she'd ever worn, but he was sure she'd find a way to top herself. When it came to Ditzy, there was always a cuter skirt.
"Regular golf is for stuffy tightwads. It takes up a ton of space and uses a ton of water to keep the grass alive. The courses are only challenging because of the distance and because of the topography. There ain't no craft to it. It's sterile, and it's usually attached to a country club or some other gatherin' place of wealthy snobs." Buck said. He started to lean on his club, heard a little crack, then adjusted his posture.
"You know, my Dad worked on a golf course. I don't think they're that bad."
"Did he ever get to play on that course?" Buck said.
Ditzy frowned.
"No."
"Well, mini-golf is cheap. It takes up way less space and anybody can play it. And the holes are always wacky and inventive by design. It's a game for weirdos like us who take the bus to get there."
"Whatever you say, Buck..."
Ditzy's eyes re-centered after a blink, and with a precise strike, the ball rolled through the loop de loop but bounced off the windmill blade as it passed.
"Dang it. This is kinda hard, with my eyes..." Ditzy said.
"Oh damn, I didn't think about that! Do you wanna quit early and go see a movie or somethin'?"
"No, no, it's fine!" Ditzy smiled.
"You sure? We don't just have to do what I wanna do, you know?"
"No really, it's fine. I'm havin' fun!"
"Alrighty, well, silver lining, at least you don't look as goofy as me while we're doin' this."
Buck adjusted his stupid beret, took his stance, and putted. It got through the loop, then bounced around the course like a pool ball.
"I dunno...I'm not sure if I can do this one. I'm super bad at windmills." Ditzy sighed.
"You want a tip?"
"Sure."
Buck kissed Ditzy on the cheek and watched the blush bloom on her face.
"You got this, Muffin. No pressure."
Ditzy took a breath and bit her lip. 
The club hit with a tiny pink spark, and the ball sailed right between the blades and into the hole.
"Alright!" Buck golf clapped, but when he looked over to Ditzy, she had an expression of shock. "What? Is there something on my face?" 
Ditzy wordlessly pulled a little mirror from her purse and held it up. Little pink hearts floated around Buck's head.
Buck slapped at his chest.
"Oh shit, oh shit, I forgot the necklace! Shit, shit, shit, shit!" Buck said.
Ditzy reached out and waved at the hearts, which blew away like scraps of paper on the wind.
"...Why did that happen?"
"I dunno! Sorry, Ditzy, I didn't mean for that-"
"Is it because of me?"
"Huh?"
"Did those hearts show up because of me?"
"Well, no, I mean, I'm catchin' feelings over here, so, maybe?"
Ditzy got a bit closer, looking confused. More hearts sparked into existence around Buck's head.
"Wow...lookit that." Ditzy poked one and it popped like a soap bubble. 
"I guess it's like, uh...like a heart boner?"
"A heart boner?" Ditzy raised an eyebrow, hand on her hip. Buck tensed up under her scrutiny.
"...yeah?"
The breath exploded out of Ditzy in a sudden guffaw. She laughed so hard she had to put a hand on Buck's shoulder to stop her snorting from knocking her over. 
"Hahahaha! That's, that's the silliest...that is just so...you!" Ditzy threw her arms around Buck's neck and nuzzled her cheek against his. 
"You're not mad?"
"No! It was an accident, and super funny!"
"Well, that's...that's embarrassing. So...do you wanna finish this match?"
"No. We're gonna go home and get your necklace. I don't want anymore surprise magic." Ditzy said it sweetly and certainly, leaving Buck no room to argue. She pulled him by the hand to the door.
Buck stole a glance as they were leaving. Ditzy was smiling, but it was a nervous, slightly trembling smile. He'd ruined the date, and she just didn't want to say it.





Two days later, Buck's hand shook with effort as a shower of pink sparks exploded from his palm. Adagio's expression was neutral as ever.
"Fuck!" Buck let go of Adagio's hand and laid on the floor, defeated.
"It looks like you can only release a small amount of your mana before you start to lose control." Adagio said, taking a seat in front of Buck.
"Damn it! I need to make some kinda progress today! I've gotta get a handle on this or I'll never be normal!" Buck groaned into his hands.
"Do you need a break?"
"No, I just need to be better."
"Let's put Sparkle Hands on hold for today and run you through your paces. Tell me again what happened. Give me
Floating Lamp."
Buck took Adagio's hand and held his other up. A mote of pink flame floated just above his finger, casting a soft glow. It sparked and flickered but didn't gutter out.
"Me and Ditzy were doin' mini-golf, and she's feelin' down because she has a hard time with her eyes.'"
"Right, I understand that part. Now, give me Hue."
Buck snapped his fingers, and his shirt changed from black to bright pink.
"Blue."
Buck snapped again, and the shirt turned dark blue but started to fade.
"Red."
The shirt turned red but then bled back into pink. Adagio smiled.
"Damn it. Anyway, I give her a kiss on the cheek, and she nails it in one putt, just like that!" 
"And then what happened? Flavor." Adagio placed a cup of water in Buck's free hand. 
"What flavor?"
"Cranberry."
Buck wiggled his fingers, and the water didn't appear to change at all.
"Ditzy saw it first, but there were little pink hearts floating around my head. Did I get it right? Is it cranberry?"
Adagio took a sip, then stifled a laugh.
"Don't tell me..." Buck grumbled.
"Pink lemonade!"
"God, fuck!" Buck swore, but it turned into a chuckle as he slapped his forehead. Adagio laughed with him and patted his shoulder.
"Well, Buck, the good news is you're getting better."
"How do you figure?"
"Tone!"
Buck twirled a finger. The sound of a duck quacking came from nowhere.
"Another!"
It was the sound of a doorbell.
"Another!"
Buck wiggled his pinkie. There was a wet fart noise.
"Aside from your practice paying off, it sounds like you're conjuring fancies accidentally." 
"Fancies?"
"Materialized figments of your imagination. You said they somewhat adhered to physics?"
"Yeah, they were scattered by a breeze, and they popped when touched."
"They might be more conjuration than illusion...hm." Adagio took some notes down.
"Why're they called fancies?"
"They aren't, officially. Sonata called them that because 'Lesser Phantasmagorias' is a mouthful. Our instructor hated it so much that we called them fancies for the rest of the semester, and the name stuck." 
"Hah! That's amazing! Fancies it is!"
"They are the last part of your suite of cantrips. After...Doodle!" Adagio quickly tore a sheet from her notebook and held it up. Buck pointed at it, and a drawing of Dickbutt appeared. In what looked like pink crayon. "If fancies are floating out of you as the result of emotional stimuli, you must be getting accustomed to your power, at least a small amount. Fancies are a common symptom of those with an affinity for the Chaos quadrants. And unicorns, I suppose." 
"Okay, so it really is like a heart boner."
"...yes. You can, of course, learn to conjure them intentionally, but it requires study. Do you remember when I had you practice the cube?"
"Yeah?"
"That was a fancy. It proved that you are capable of visualizing three-dimensional shapes in your mind. If you can do that, you can animate anything you conjugate. All you need to do is focus on the image."
"And touch somebody?" Buck yawned.
"For something as minor as cantrips, likely not. Remember what I told you about intimacy. It's about emotional closeness."
Buck looked down at his hand, which was still holding Adagio's, then back up to her mischievous smile.
"So, you mean to tell me that we didn't need to be holdin' hands this whole time?"
"For sparkle hands? Certainly. but for the other cantrips, not at all. I have a theory I've been working on, but I don't want to test it until I have a chance to discuss it with Sunburst."
"So why're you still holdin' my hand?"
"It's the easiest way to drink you, Buck." Adagio grinned. 
Buck snatched his hand back and rolled his eyes. He looked away in a bit of a huff, but Adagio leaned to catch his eye.
"Speaking of, you taste exhausted and frustrated. Has work been especially taxing?"
"Well, yeah."
"When was the last time you were given a raise?"
Buck wiggled a finger. It was a fart noise again, but louder.
"You really should quit that job, Buck. You deserve better."
"Yeah, pull the other one. You wouldn't believe the kinda stuff that pops up when people do a background check on me. Gettin' an interview is basically impossible without nepotism or bribes."
"You're in desperate need of a mental health day."
"You breakin' into therapy, now?"
"No. I just know you."
"Okay, well since you know me so well, why do I feel like I'm spinnin' my wheels here?" Buck sighed. Adagio offered him a hand up, which he took with a small amount of hesitation.
"You're a hard-working man, Buck. Highly creative, passionate, and ambitious. In many regards, you're exactly what this dark, pale world needs. I can say with smug certainty that the ponies of my time would have found you deplorable. But, you are buried under countless distracting pressures. Your job, your bills, your debt, your trauma. Your connection to who you are is strained, and has been for so long that you can no longer recognize the man you see in the mirror for what he is."
"And what's that?"
"An individual who burns with possibility. An engine of creation brimming with perverse, potent energy, who could change the world with a snap of his fingers, if he could only learn the right rhythm. This world has inflicted scars on you, and I've only seen a few of them, and yet, here you are, blazing like a beacon. You're a star, Buck. Perhaps, when there are fewer...distractions blocking your sight, you'll finally let yourself shine." Adagio spoke with a tender earnestness that nearly robbed Buck of his skepticism.
"Do you really mean that?"
"I mean everything I say, Buck."
"Really?" Buck squinted.
"No." Adagio said, pinching his cheek. "But in this instance, I am being terribly sincere, so I suggest you appreciate it."
"That's...really sweet of you to say. But I was talkin' about the magic."
Adagio blushed.
"Th-that is to say, the problem your facing is a simple one. You're high strung. Magic demands emotional honesty to function, so until you let yourself feel your emotions, you're going to keep having a difficult time with your spells; even the cantrips. You need to be more open to your feelings."
"Oh, look who's talkin'." Buck said. Adagio's smile turned sharper.
"You also need rest, or you need to orgasm more. Whichever comes first."
"Alright, alright, well, I know this is askin' alot, but, uh..." Buck trailed off, scratching his head. Adagio smiled at him expectantly.
"Yes, Buck?" 
"Would it be alright if I took a nap? Can I use your bed for that? Please?"
"Ugh. Drop the 'please', and take all the time you want. When you get up, we can work more on your fancies." Adagio rose and took a good long stretch. Buck averted his eyes from her form like a dutiful boyfriend and wandered off to lay down. 
Adagio's bed was a paradise of soft silk. For once, Buck started to drift as soon as his head hit the pillow.
Adagio closed the door slowly, her eyes lingering on Buck's prone form as he settled into the left side of her bed.
Right where he belonged.  
The sense of satisfaction was intoxicating. As the sessions wore on, Adagio found herself getting accustomed to the tipsy feeling of absorbing Buck's emotions. She was confident that with enough time and exposure, she could adapt to the influx of feeling and get a true handle on the mana itself. She went to pour a glass of water to help clear her head but she saw something distressing reflected in the countertop. 
Despite her best efforts, her eyes had gone pink again.





"Just hang in there....I've got you. Relax..." Starlight said right next to Scoot's head. The breath on her ear sent a tingle through her, intensifying the blush on her cheeks. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of her face, a sign of the effort her body was putting in.
"I can't! It's too much!" Scoots squeaked. Starlight held her wrist firmly. The taller woman's body was right up against Scootaloo's back as she struggled for focus. She smelled a little bit like peach body wash.
"You can! Just take a deep breath, and let it come." Starlight said.
"O-okay..." Scoots shut her eyes tightly and squeezed the crystal in her hand.
"Don't close your eyes! In the middle of a fight, you can't afford to take your eyes off the target."
Five feet from Scoots' outstretched hand, Sunburst stood, protected by two pillows taped to his front and back and a football helmet on his head. On his face, he had the look of a man that had been thrown onto a mat in a karate dojo several times.
"Don't hold it, just let it fly!" Starlight said.
"Hah!" Scoots shouted and a gust of wind burst from her palm. The air blasted Sunburst across the room, where he smacked ass over teakettle into the couch.
"Excellent work, Scootaloo." Starlight said, stepping over to Sunburst.
"Yeah..." Scootaloo took a breath and wiped her forehead. She felt like her brain had run a marathon.
"It looks like three gusts is your maximum for the day. That's very good for a beginner!" Sunburst said. With great effort, Starlight helped him to his feet.
"And as a bonus, you now have the ability to toss a full-grown man off his feet at the drop of a hat." Starlight said. "We'll say that your arsenal is three quartz crystals. With that conceit in mind, we can focus on refining your powers and diversifying your skillset."
"Ooh! Can show you show me how to shoot laser beams out of my eyes? Or fire?" Scootaloo said; Sunburst looked shocked at this, but Starlight took a moment to consider it.
"In theory, yes. Fire spells fall under Chaos/Ethereal, whereas things like arcane bolts are Order/Ethereal."
"But isn't that a different quadrant?"
"It's adjacent to yours. You can learn spells from it quadrants, but it will be more difficult than learning spells from your own. About fifty to seventy percent more difficult."
"The heck does that mean?"
"If you can learn a spell from your quadrant in weeks, you could learn from an adjacent quadrant in months." Sunburst said.
"So it's possible, just hard and time-consuming. I wouldn't recommend trying to branch into adjacent quadrants until you're further along in your training. You're still establishing your basic set of spells, after all."
"What about the one across from mine? If I tried hard, could I learn to move water around like Adagio?"
"It's nearly impossible to learn spells from across the chart. Odds are slim you could learn one, and even slimmer that you could cast it consistently."
"Aww..." Scoots pouted.
"But, Chaos/Ethereal spells have their own strengths! For instance, they come out faster than any other type of spell, and they aren't very mana intensive. They tend to be short-range, but you can throw them out quick and fast, which suits you pretty well, Scoots!" Sunburst interjected.
"But what if I want to hit something that's not breathing down my neck?"
"Well, you could carry a gun." Starlight said. 
"Woah, I don't wanna hurt anybody!"
"You might not always have a choice. Sometimes part of saving the day is saving yourself."
"So, when do I get to quit my job and be a hero full-time?" Scoots said.
"Well, we put in a good word for you with The Pillars. Bon Bon vouched for you, too but the message we got back was that to join up, they need a report of you displaying magical aptitude in a crisis situation. Which really means that we have to wait for some trouble." Sunburst said.
"Or go find it, right?" Scoots said. Her smile at Starlight was met with a scowl.
"Actually, we've gotten word back that some odd things have been seen in the Everfree mountain range, on the northeastern side. Strange green lights in the woods at night, and people about when they shouldn't be."
"Almost definitely changelings. They might be mobilizing, which means trouble is probably going to find us before long." Sunburst said.
"The northeastern side? But nobody lives out that way. Who sent the report?" Scoots said.
"That's a good question to ask. I'm glad you're thinking that way, Scoots." Sunburst smiled.
"It's also classified information." Starlight said. "So we can't tell you, unfortunately."
"Ooh, mysterious! What is it!? Is it surveillance drones? Do you have little cameras all over the place?"
"You'll never guess it." Sunburst laughed.
"Is it a magic mirror!?"
"No. Sunburst, are you ready to go?" Starlight said.
"Sure, I'll just be a minute." 
Sunburst gathered some odds and ends into a backpack and started slipping on his shoes.
"You guys going somewhere?" Scoots said.
"Since you've made so much progeress today, we're going to go on patrol early. Normally it would just be me, but ever since that night with the cloak, Sunburst has insisted I have a least one other person with me." Starlight said grumpily, but the smile she tossed in Sunburst's direction betrayed her affection. 
"Can I come?"
"Not this time. You've gotten a lot better, but I don't want to put you out on the field until you learn a bit more. Your airbursts have the potential to be dangerous to you, and I don't want to see you get hurt or become a liability out there."
"What we mean is, you've shown a lot of growth, but we'd rather you rest up and get a tiny bit more experience before we throw you back into the fray!" Sunburst said.
"Okay, you're the boss..." Scoots sighed.
"Oh, and don't forget your longboard. Buck came by earlier and dropped it off." 
As Scootaloo headed down the hall from Sunbursts' suite, she noticed a little sticky note stuck to her board.
It read; "Don't sweat it."
When Scoots went upstairs to see if Adagio and Buck wanted to hang out, she was told firmly by Adagio that Buck was napping, and it was best not to interrupt. After that, the only place Scootaloo could go was back to the track.



	

Sometimes being an extrovert didn't make any sense. Scootaloo didn't want to be bothered, but she needed to be around people, even just to breathe the same air.
The feeling reminded her of way back before she met Sweetie Belle and Applebloom, back when no one knew what to do with her. Either everyone was too busy or didn't want Scootaloo hanging around their ankles. It was amazing how little things changed. It's like she was back to square one.
As Scootaloo took the track, she failed to notice a figure huddled in the twilight shadows. In the small copse of trees beside the athletic field, a figure wearing a dark cloak watched silently.
The specter sprinted ahead on the track, still just out of reach. Scootaloo was getting closer, but she still wasn't good enough to catch up. She just had to try harder, and maybe then she could really make a difference.
Her head felt fuzzy from the magic training, and her legs were already sore from work, but she pushed on anyway. If she could just shave a couple of seconds off her time, that would be enough for today. She just had to push a bit harder.
"Hey, Scootaloo! Scootaloo!"
Scootaloo immediately lost focus, coming to a gradual stop. The specter ran ahead and vanished.
Wind Sprint caught up to Scootaloo, jogging in place. 
"Hey! I didn't know you'd be out here today!"
"I was just wrapping up." Scootaloo sighed.
"Oh, well I actually wanted to ask; have you taken trig 2? Because I could use some help--if you wouldn't mind helping me study?"
"Ugh, I took Trig 2 years ago! I wouldn't know what I'm doing if you asked me to look at it now." Scootaloo said, turning away.
"Well, that's okay. If you want, we could just hang out, you know? You're kind of the only person I know around here, and-"
"Look, I get it, okay? I get what you're trying to do, but I don't want a sidekick. Nobody wants a sidekick."
"I'm sorry...did I say something that upset you?"
"No! It's not you, it's just not a good time right now, alright!?" Scootaloo said, leaving Wind Sprint to stare at her own shoes.





The next three weeks were filled with piecemeal progress, at least when it came to magic. Ditzy watched as Buck came home, abuzz with ideas he needed to get on paper, then tried to act nonchalant about it. He assured Ditzy that he was being careful around Adagio, better safe than sorry, but he barely touched Ditzy. In a way, this was much more comfortable. Buck made Ditzy feel like no one else in the bedroom, but handling him was difficult, and she could never quite figure out just what he wanted. He just kept saying it was fine, she was doing fine, and not to worry.
At first, Ditzy really wasn't worried. After all, Starlight was looking out for Buck, and she trusted his judgment. As the days rolled on, though, something wasn't sitting right. Buck came home later and later, And he was smiling more, looking happier and more vibrant. Whenever Ditzy asked about the magic sessions, Buck would mention how weird and complex magic was under the surface and talk about ideas and techniques. A lot of it flew right over Ditzy's head, but some of it sounded like painting, dance, or music. On the third week, Starlight didn't come to pick Buck up. Instead, Buck kissed Ditzy, told her he loved her, and headed out into the parking lot.
Adagio's car was waiting for him, and though Ditzy ducked away from the window, she could swear that Adagio was smiling at her as she greeted Buck.
That same night, Ditzy made Buck and Dinky's favorite dish again, but Buck texted her, saying he would be late and to just save his bowl for later.
As Ditzy sat, quietly mending a pair of shorts that Dinky had torn up during recess, she tried not to tie herself in a knot. Lonely nights always made Ditzy feel stifled and stuffy. Luckily for Ditzy, lonely nights were in short supply. Between Dinky and Buck, there was always someone for her to bounce off, and she rarely felt lonely. Not like this. 
Ditzy put her needles down and exhaled loudly into her silent living room.
"You're overthinking it, Ditzy Doo! You just need some air, to clear the cobwebs outta your head!"
A light summer shower pattered the darkened parking lot. The rain had a way of unsettling Ditzy that was hard to describe. Maybe it was the noise or the occasional flash of thunder, but it always seemed like trouble whenever there was rain.
"I just know somethin' bad's gonna happen...maybe I oughta march right over there and tell Buck to give Starlight and Sunburst another chance." Ditzy said.
"What? For a threesome?" Said a voice to her left. Ditzy squeaked and looked over to see Smolder, wearing a dark leather jacket and smoking a cigarette as she watched the rain come down.
"You're Smolder! Buck's friend! Hi! Uh...what're you still doin' here?"
"Do you always talk your thoughts out loud like that? I bet that gets you into trouble, doesn't it?"
"Sometimes, I guess."
"I'm just messing with ya, girlfriend. You come out here for a smoke? I got a light if you need." Smolder smiled and flicked open a lighter, offering it to Ditzy.
"Oh, no, not at all! I can't smoke; I've got a kid!"
"Ah, right. You're the responsible type. That's good."
"It is?"
"Well, sure. Buck needs a girl like you, otherwise, he does the dumbest shit imaginable. Same thing with Sunburst, now that I think about it."
"So what're you still doin' in town? I thought Buck said you were just visiting?"
"Well, I was, but then I managed to get a little grant to do some research around here. A cartographer's work is never done; 'specially in places with big fuck-off mountains around them. Gonna be around for a little while longer. What about you?"
"I live here."
"No, I mean, what're you doin' hanging out in the cold, staring at your feet? What, did you lose a contact or something? Would those even work with the uh, all that?" Smolder pointed at her own eyes.
"It's called Strabismus, and no, I don't wear contacts. I came out here to clear my head."
"Oh, I get it." Smolder shrugged, leaning against the wall. She lit another cigarette, then looked awkwardly at Ditzy, who was rubbing her arm a few feet away.
"Okay, what's wrong?" Smolder groaned.
Ditzy explained the situation. Smolder knew about the beef after what happened at the fair, but the magic training, Buck's powers, and everything else was totally new. Her expression shifted from a bit sour to annoyed, and then just a bit smug.
"Now that sounds like Buck. I knew he seemed a little too put together when he was warming up that towel for you. But no, because it's Buck, there's magic bullshit and girls and weird sexual tension. It's like he can't help himself!" Smolder laughed.
"You've been with him, and you're his friend. What do I do?"
"I've never known him to cheat. Has he ever cheated on you?"
"No...he cheated with me, on Adagio."
"What? Are you serious?"
"Well, it wasn't his fault. I kissed him!"
"But he kissed you back, didn't he?"
"Mhm."
"The big softie."
"Yeah...but, I'm not blind. The way he talks about magic...I mean, he doesn't even mention Adagio! He talks about it like...like-"
"Like it's the only thing in the world that matters."
"Yeah! And part of me is glad that he found a hobby that makes him happy! But magic is dangerous...it can make people do horrible things. Turn them into..."
"Monsters?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring that up!"
"No, it's okay. I get it. I mean, I turned into a big, fire-breathing lizard! But you know something? I think it was good for me. It put things in perspective. When I was in there...everything was clear. I knew what I wanted, and it was to protect Buck and Sunburst and Gar Gar from Adagio. I wanna say a part of me was screaming, trying to stop me, but that's just not true. That power...it let me go for what I wanted. And that's all magic is, isn't it? Power."
"But power corrupts."
"Does it? I don't know about that. That dragon and me; we're the same. I was trying to keep the boys safe, but once Gar Gar came out and talked to me, I realized I was being drastic. And selfish. I was hoarding them. Trying to lock them away, like they were jewels in a safe. And that was wrong, but the feelings behind it were real. Those same feelings are what made you armor up and fight me, right?"
"I guess..."
"I guess what I'm getting at is this; if the magic turns Buck into something, it'll be a more honest version of him. And if that thought scares you, you need to have a good long think about whether or not you actually want him."
"I do want him! But how do I get him when he's seeing her, and she's rich and pretty and she's got...magic!"
"I mean, sis, you've already 'got' him. I heard you two the other night; sounded like a god damn slasher movie. He's makin' you cum that hard and you're worried about him bein' faithful? What're you, married?"
"Married!? I uh, I never, well, well it's a little early to think about...I...oh geez."
"That's pretty funny if you think about it. Buck's seein' his ex a day out of the week, and she's not just possessive, she's a super villain that super wants his dick, and you're worried that it's the magic that'll win him over. Any other guy, this would be an open and shut case, but not Buck. Buck's gotta go and make everything complicated!"
"Yeah...that's my Buck. All or nothing. So maybe it was silly to worry that he might cheat."
"Woah, I mean, I didn't say that. He's hanging out with Adagio. Even I wanna hit that, and I'm not even into girls!"
"Ugh, you don't have to rub it in my face..." Ditzy blushed.
"Well, either way, I guess it doesn't matter. Buck's already done everything, like twice. He isn't gonna be impressed by a beej, even one from a siren."
"So it's pointless for me to try sex stuff! What am I gonna do!?"
"Is this about her, or is it about you?"
"She's trying to wreck my relationship with Buck!"
"The one you stole from her?"
"She lost him on her own!" 
"Yeah, sure, whatever. Look, what's your beef with magic, anyway? If someone wanted to teach my boyfriend magic, I wouldn't worry about it, I would climb over him and ask them to teach me, too!"
"Let's...let's just say I've seen magic at its worst, and I don't want it in my house."
"Even if it means giving up on Buck?"
"..."
"Okay, well, if you don't wanna compromise, you're in luck! You snagged the guy that'll give it all up for you. Congrats! Just tell him no magic and no Adagio, and he'll probably do it."
"But I don't think that would make him happy..."
"Would it make you feel happy?"
"It would make me feel safe."
"Guh. This is way too complicated for me. You should'a called Sunburst. This soap opera shit is his jam. My advice to you, blondie knight, is to dump 'em. If he won't let go of this magic shizz, then kick his ass to the curb. Buck's a big boy. He'll cry about it, like a lot, but he'll get over it."
"I don't wanna break up with him! I love him!"
"Then stand by your man, dumbass! You're not Adagio, and you're not ever gonna be her, so why worry about it!?"
"Because he likes her."
"But he loves you! Find out how he needs to be loved, and give him that!"
"I'll try."
"And if you can't, you get someone who can, and you get the fuck over it!"  Smolder said, tossing her cigarette away.
Ditzy went quiet, then. Smolder saw her lip quiver and her hands ball into fists.
"Aw geez. Look, I don't really do the whole sugar coating thing, alright? If you want that, you should go do your therapy, like you said."
"Actually, I already had my first appointment! Silver Spoon is a sweetheart, and she says that my attachment is rooted in my trauma about-"
"Too long, don't care! I'll tell it to you straight, girlfriend. Buck's a good guy, and you probably don't have anything to worry about. But on the off chance you do, just, just make sure Buck knows how you feel. He's not the greatest at reading minds, but he'll listen."
"Right."	
"And if it doesn't work out, let me know. I'll ask Adagio to give me a turn."
"WHAT!?"
"Hah hah, woah, yeah, that's a pretty fucked up thing to say! Alright, see ya around, girlfriend!" Smolder waved over her shoulder as she ascended the stairs, flicking the remains of her cigarette out into the rain.
Buck did eventually come home, and when he did, he seemed more than happy to cuddle up and head straight to bed.





Scootaloo had barely managed to catch up to her previous time. 
The shadow she chased kept on dashing ahead, never looking back. 
Time started to blur. Scootaloo ran, she slept, she practiced magic, she slept, and she ran again. She worked just one day out of the week, but she didn't have any time to talk to Buck about what she did or why. Work was packed with customers, so there was no room for anything but business.
It was just as well. Scootaloo didn't really know what to say. 
Instead, she tried to focus on getting better on the track and better at magic. She was up to making that mini-tornado, but she could only do it for a few seconds before it threw her off her feet. That wasn't nearly good enough. She thought that maybe if she really put her mind to it, she could eventually be as good as Starlight, or maybe even Adagio. She didn't even know what she'd use it for, but that didn't matter. What mattered was being awesome. 
Scootaloo desperately needed to be awesome. She couldn't keep living with bronze and silver trophies.
As Scootaloo ran the track, again and again, Wind Sprint hung on her every word and step. She started to follow Scootaloo around; in the locker room, around the quad, and on the track. It was honestly a little annoying, but a thousand times better than being alone. Scoots was so tired of being alone. 
It was a cool Tuesday sunrise, several hours before magic practice. It was beautiful out, and so the athletic grounds were filled with early risers going through their paces. Scootaloo hardly noticed.	
She barely answered Wind Sprint's questions before she started running the track. 
Something about a bell, whatever.
Her sweatband got wet, her breath got short and her arms pumped as she charged after the shadow. She had to beat her time. She had to!
Scootaloo felt a strong, cool wind tousle her hair as Wind Sprint pulled ahead of her.
Scootaloo snapped back to awareness. She kicked her knees up and overtook the younger sprinter.
Her legs and lungs burned, but she stayed on point. 
But then she heard a sound like wind through telephone wires. There was a brief glow, and Wind Sprint crossed the finish line first. For just a second, Scootaloo could swear she saw a pair of wings at the teen girl's back.
The response was immediate.
Scootaloo watched in awe as other students surrounded Wind Sprint with questions and comments and selfies. 
Wind Sprint looked at her with an odd expression, like she was just as shocked as Scootaloo was. She made her way through the crowd and pumped her fist excitedly.
"Did you see that!? I actually, I mean I didn't mean to but I, I can't believe I did that!" Wind Sprint babbled.
"Yeah! I uh...I can't believe it either. Good job?"
"So, so, do you think you can show me how to get even faster!?"
"I don't know, I...I think...I think I need to go make a call."
Scootaloo headed back to her dorm without another word, tapping Sunbursts' number with a shaking finger. She knew what she saw; she just didn't want to believe it.
What Scootaloo didn't see was the scowl on Wind Sprints' face or the way she stomped off in the other direction once Scootaloo's back was turned.





It was the same morning but across town. 
Ditzy's kitchen was somewhere in that transitory space between recovering housewife and aspiring cake boss. There wasn't much in the way of processed snack foods, but there was an arsenal of ingredients designed to make confections of all different sorts. Unlike Buck's cooking space, which was more of a wasteland occasionally populated with quick microwave fare, everything seemed to have a place in Ditzy's kitchen.
"So Clear Sky says, all snooty; 'You must run through piles of red yarn! You know, because you put apples on literally everything.' I thought Granny Smith was gonna throw something at her!" Ditzy said as she warmed up the waffle iron.
"Is that the one with the kid?" Buck said, slicing up some strawberries. "And the divorce?"
"Yeah she is. I mean, we've all got kids. The sewing circle is kind of there so we can get away from 'em for a little bit."
"Fair enough. Hey, you want me to compote this? I think I saw some blueberries in the fridge we could throw in." 
More often than not, Buck and Ditzy made treats together--Buck was pretty incompetent at everything besides baking--but they hadn't had much of that kind of quality time recently. This was a nice change of pace, and Ditzy was intent on enjoying the morning before Buck had to go again.
"Sure! Could you reach the powdered sugar for me?" Ditzy said. Buck stepped up behind her and grabbed a little tin from the top shelf of the cupboard. 
"So, why waffles?"
I had some left over from before I dropped Dinky off! I thought it would be nice to treat ourselves, considering how busy we've been. Besides, I know you love waffles!"
"Sweet of you to remember, Muffin." Buck slid his arms around Ditzy's waist. She giggled as he kissed her cheek.
"I'm not super good with romantic words...but I can do brunch!" 
"Well, I think brunch is pretty romantic! Ain't nobody makes me brunch, you know?"
Ditzy's smile suddenly cut off as she felt a bulge press firmly against her from behind.
"H-Hey...do you need me to...take care of that?" Ditzy mumbled.
"Huh?"
"You're hard..." Buck saw a look of terror on Ditzy's face. 
"Oh, no, you don't gotta worry about that! It's just a boner." Buck let go and took a few paces back.
"You don't...you don't need me to deal with it?"
"'course not!"
"We could maybe do it later, I mean if you want...maybe give me a little time to prepare, and..."
"Do you want to?"
"If you want to."
Buck moved to take her into his arms, but he stopped. She was shaking. 
"Ditzy, it's not your job to take care of my boners, okay?"
"Okay, Buck."
"You're safe with me, Ditzy. You can say 'no' to me, you know that, right?"
"You don't find it annoying when I'm not ready for...you know, stuff?"
"Doesn't matter. We can go at your pace. It's fine."
"Okay."
Ditzy went to Buck's arms. She squeezed him like a teddy bear and for a moment, there was nothing else in the world.
She was safe.
They sat down and had a good brunch, but things were quiet and awkward. Buck kept his eyes on his plate, complimenting Ditzy for how good the batter tasted. Once he finished cutting the waffle into fourths, Ditzy took his hand just to remind him that she was still there.
There was a knock on Buck's door, and it was almost a relief. Buck kissed Ditzy's hand before he answered. 
"So you're here. You weren't answering your phone; I was starting to worry." Said Adagio.
"Must've left it in my room. Sorry 'bout that. Why're you here at this hour?"
"Our favorite Little Birdie called an emergency meeting, so I decided to pick you up early. That way we can assess the threat together."
"Oh shit. Is Scoots hurt?"
"No, just shaken. She did say it was urgent, so I recommend you save the rest of your food for later and...are you alright?" Adagio winced, looking Buck up and down. 
Buck slapped at his chest and realized suddenly that he wasn't wearing the changeling stone.
"What're you talkin' about?" 
"You taste exhausted, Buck." Adagio looked around Buck, toward Ditzy and raised an eyebrow.
"I'm fine. Could you please wait downstairs? I'll be there in a sec."
"If you insist."
Adagio spared Ditzy a brief, neutral glance, then closed the door. 
"I've gotta go. If it's something really dangerous, I'll make sure to fill you in."
"Okay, Buck." Ditzy said to Buck's back as he wandered around, grabbing his things. He wordlessly let for next door, then came back and hugged Ditzy tight.
"Buck..."
"Yeah, Muffin?" Buck's eyes were no less gentle than ever, and even in this urgent situation, he gave Ditzy a smile.
"Be safe, okay?"
"Sure thing."
And then he was gone. Ditzy Doo put her head to the table and tried not to cry. 





Buck and Adagio entered Sunburst's suite in a rush.
Sunburst was taking notes, while Starlight was listening with a skeptical look on her face.
"I don't know, Scoots. Are you sure you weren't just a bit delirious from the run?" Sunburst said.
"No!" Scoots said.
"You said she was taller, didn't you? It could just be that she caught a second wind at an inconvenient time. I mean, if her legs are long and she's a bit younger than you, it's understandable that you'd-" 
"I didn't really lose! She used magic! Scoots shouted, cutting Starlight off.
"I believe you, Little Birdie. Tell us exactly what you saw as she passed you." Adagio said
"It was, it was like a car drove right by me! There was a bunch of air, and I saw a kinda bluish glow."
"And?"
"I thought I saw wings on her back!"
Sunburst and Starlight looked at each other.
"Pegasus." They said in unison.
"Pop quiz, Buck!" Adagio brightened up. "We're dealing with pegasus magic, specifically involving the wind! What quadrant does our suspect belong in?"
"Uh...Chaos/Ethereal? Because she used a natural element that can't be touched; the wind."
"Correct! Excellent work, Buck." Adagio beamed.
"It's called Tail Wind. It's a pretty basic pegasus spell, used to reduce wind resistance in front while pushing at the back with a persistent gust of air. It's typically how fast fliers take to the air." Starlight said, leafing through a spellbook.
"Ooh! Can I learn it!?" Scoots said.
"You could, definitely, though you'd probably need a somatic component to beef up your aura." Sunburst said.
"But she did it on her own!" Scoots whined.
"Are you sure about that?" Adagio said. "Was there any evidence of funny business? Anyone skulking around in cloaks? Did she seem off at all?"
"I wasn't super paying attention? I dunno, I think she said something about ringing; like her ears were ringing, or something."
"Hol' up, Scoots. Didn't you say you heard like a chime before Smolder went postal on us?"
"Yeah! I definitely did!"
"You think maybe this girl heard the same thing?"
"That's it! That's the narrative!" Sunburst stood up suddenly, dropping a fist into his palm. "Our enemies can induce awakening in people! It has to have something to do with chimes, but it makes sense, doesn't it? They find someone who's emotionally vulnerable, make them awaken, and then leech magic off the ensuing panic! Scoots, are there any big events coming up at school?"
"The regional sprinting competition! That's what I was training for in the first place!"
"And there's the pattern. They scout around for opportunities to screw with big, organized events where a lot of people will be, and then they strike." Starlight said.
"In addition, they are working with changeling spies in exchange for a cut of their mana, though they seem to be operating at a deficit for the moment," Adagio said, tapping her chin. 
No one seemed to catch the moment her eyes widened. It was just a second, but her neutral curiosity slipped slowly into a sadistic grin. No one, save for Buck.
"You figure somethin' out, 'dagio?"
"Perhaps. We'll just have to wait and see." Adagio said, dropping Buck a wink.
"Regardless, I think our objective here is obvious. We need to put this fire out before it starts. Scootaloo, I need you to talk to this girl, what was her name?"
"...Windy?" Scoots tried.
"Sure. You need to talk to her and figure out why she's a target. It's bound to be some outside stressors."
"Like poverty? Or bein' a girl at CCU?" Buck tried.
"Any information you can get will help us in case she awakens fully and starts wreaking havoc. In the meantime, we need to field a capture mission. Do you think you could get a tracking talisman on her? Maybe stick it in her gym bag?"
"I can be sneaky, yeah!" Scoots said.
"You wanna track her?" Buck said.
"Yes. If we follow her around, I'm sure whoever is targeting her will be somewhere in the vicinity. All we have to do is capture and interrogate them. In the meantime, Sunburst-"
"You want me to do the social worker thing?"
"Exactly. Once we figure out what the problem is, you can make your move. You know the drill. You're a student counselor, you heard there was some problems, can we talk, blah blah blah."
"Wait, bro, is that seriously what you do when you're not fightin' monsters?" Buck said.
"Well, sure! Every once in a while, there's a magical anomaly involving normal people, and nine times out of ten, it's caused by relationship drama." Sunburst smiled. "And my mother said my major was useless!"
"Your Mom's a douchebag, bro."
"Then why did you sleep with her?" Sunburst laughed.
"You literally asked me to do it!"
"Ooh, that sounds like a story!" Adagio said, grinning.
"I wanna hear, I wanna hear!" Scoots said.
"Well..." Buck started.
"No! No distractions! Sunburst, I also need you to requisition some components." Starlight scribbled a list on a notepad and handed it over. 
"...got it."
"Buck, I need you to-"
"Rest his weary head and not get involved in any more of these escapades." Adagio said, quickly.
"I wasn't talking to you." Starlight sneered. "Buck, when your magic surged during your first session, there was a knock on effect; mana transference. Everyone present got a little bit of your aura. If you could give us a top off, you would be a great-"
"Battery?" Buck said.
"...I was going to say help. A great help. If you don't want to be involved, you could at least lend us your power."
"Lend you his power, more like." Adagio hissed. "Power which, lest we forget, drove you into a berserk frenzy at the fair."
"What, what? Nobody told me that!" Buck said.
"Remember when I took a tipper of your anger during the fight with Smolder? I loaned it to Starlight Glimmer, and she very nearly killed the poor thing. You didn't see it, because you were trapped in the tower, but I did, and so did everyone else here." Adagio said, looking down her nose at Starlight.
"That was just a fluke!" Starlight said.
"You can't be trusted to handle Buck's power responsibly. You're too weak. And besides, you two would need to have a more intimate connection to truly get at his mana, and I don't see that happening."
"So then we'll have Buck give some power to Sunburst and have him take the front line." Starlight seethed.
"Woah, uh, Starlight? That's not really my thing." Sunburst said.
"And I don't even know how to do it on purpose!" Buck said.
"It's an intermediate arcana spell! What has Adagio been teaching you!?"
Buck took Adagio's hand and snapped his fingers. Scootaloo's hair turned pink.
"Woah, rad!" Scoots said. 
"Buck has been learning a suite of basic cantrips. He's still at the beginning of his training." Adagio said, calmly.
"You have been taking him into that...lair of yours for weeks, and you haven't even taught him anything useful!?"
"Well, I can also make fart noises with my mind, and that's pretty amazing." Buck said.
"Buck, with your power, you could burn people's faces off!"
"But I don't want to burn peoples faces off. I want to make fart noises with my mind." Buck's shrug was accompanied by a quacking sound.
Sunburst took Starlight's hand, and her scowl slowly softened. She took a deep breath and steadied herself.
"...Buck, I know these circumstances aren't ideal, but people could be in danger! I've seen you in the fray; you stay composed and you strategize. That's the way a soldier thinks. If you actually tried, you could be a real hero out there!" 
"Starlight, I get where you're comin' from, but I'm not doin' that. With my luck, I'm just as likely to catch you on fire than give you some spare mana. And besides, 'dagio's right. I don't wanna be responsible for you turnin' into a monster like Smolder. Or like I was gonna be. It's too risky." Buck shrugged.
"Or, Buck could simply give me some energy, and I could assist you in the field. I think I'm well beyond qualified, considering how I've been the X-factor of no less than four of your victories by now." Adagio's smile was vicious.
Starlight Glimmer looked about ready to throw hands, but Sunburst soothed her gently, laying his head on her shoulder. To Buck, Starlight seemed to genuinely lighten up.
"Fine. Do as you will, but don't get in the way, and no showboating. These people thrive on spectacle and drama, so we need to try and keep a low profile. Can you at least do that?"
"Effortlessly," Adagio said. "You can call me when you know exactly when we're going to make a move. Buck, would you like to get a jump on practicing mana transference?"
"Sure thing. We good here, everybody?" Buck said.
"Can I come?" Scoots said, a bit sheepishly. 
"No. I need you to practice with your aura more. If things are about to get dicey, you'll need all the prep you can get." Starlight said.
"Ugh, fine!" Scoots pouted.
"I trust you'll all be ready when the fun starts." Adagio winked, heading for the door. She had taken Buck's hand.
"And Buck?" Starlight said.
"Yeah, Glimglam?"
"Thank you for hearing me out, at least." Starlight said with almost a smile.
Buck nodded and headed out with Adagio.	 





"I didn't wanna say anything before, but is it super necessary for you to dress like that when I'm around?"
It was a tube top and a pair of leopard print tights. The outfit hugged Adagio in the best ways possible, reminding Buck not just of what he'd walked away from, but how he missed it. He was starting to reconsider what he'd said at the boardwalk. As if sensing his thoughts, Adagio retorted.
"What, is this ensemble too 'fierce' for you, Buck?"
"It's a little distractin', is all."
"If it's too much, feel free to close your eyes. I'm not creating a dress code in my own home. Not for you; not for anyone."
"Fair enough. Would you mind if I used the bathroom?"
"No. Why would I?"
"Thanks." 
Adagio was nearing the end of her rope. 
For weeks, she had Buck in her home, getting comfortable with the idea of shared scholarly pursuits and self-improvement in exchange for a stipend of his mana. He had made remarkable progress, and he was looking at Adagio less like a source of turmoil and more like the companion he'd spent nearly half a year getting to know. It wasn't an ideal paradigm, this platonic purgatory, but it was far preferable to letting Buck hang like a grenade caught on a tree branch, waiting to go off.
It was nice to have him over, in other words.
But there was a snag. Buck was walking through Adagio's door more tired and frustrated with each passing week. She could taste him, so of course, Adagio knew why, but she had committed to letting Buck make his own mistakes and not to interfere. That had been a trial, but so far it had been worth it. Buck was coming to trust Adagio, and he was amicable to their arrangement.
But he was not comfortable. Adagio had to remind him multiple times to take a break, to eat something, to stop straining. On top of that, his silent ache for release was starting to become a permanent aftertaste of their liaisons. And worse yet, Buck had begun asking disgustingly politely for every little thing. He was treating Adagio like some stuffy, formal business partner, dodging around her and rarely voicing his opinions outside of magic.
It was like Buck was afraid to take up space in Adagio's presence, and while she couldn't confirm her suspicions, she assumed that Ditzy Doo was to blame. 
Buck returned, his angst and frustration like a sour-sweet mist rolling off his shoulders.
"Buck, do you enjoy learning magic?"
"Huh? I mean, I'm doin' it because if I don't-"
"Yes, yes, I know the necessity, Buck, I'm not an idiot. What I'm asking is if you're having fun."
"Why do you ask?"
"Answer the question, Buck."
"I mean...yeah. Honestly? Magic is super interesting, and if I'd known some of the technical details a lot earlier, I probably would'a been saved a lot of grief."
"What exactly caused you to be so fearful of it?"
"That's, uh...I don't really wanna talk about those memories right now. We're havin' a good day. I don't wanna spoil it with my melodrama."
"So, you do enjoy learning magic. I had my doubts since you taste miserable every time you walk in my door." Adagio said, raising an eyebrow.
"Work's been rough."
"You don't have to excuse yourself. I'm not trying to condemn your feelings, I'm simply taking note of them. You're frustrated and tired." Adagio poured a cold glass of juice for herself as they spoke.
"I'm fine."
"So you keep telling me." Adagio frowned. "If I'm doing something that bothers you, you should just tell me. I might even consider your complaint for a moment before discarding it." She tried. 
"No, it's not you. You've been good. This's been good." Buck deflected. "Would you mind if I had some juice?" Buck said,  nodding at the fridge. Adagio squeezed her glass so hard she thought it might shatter.
"And then there's that. No, I don't mind if you drink my juice."
"Alright, fine. Let me just...'scuse me."
Buck navigated around Adagio and the island counter in the middle of the kitchen, awkwardly going for the glasses. He seemed intent on not even brushing against Adagio as he passed.
"Honestly, Buck, tell me who brainwashed you into being so restrained and polite? I need to slap them!" 
"That'd be my Ma."
"Well, I'll still slap her, but I might consider apologizing after."
"Gee, thanks." 
"What is possessing you to act like this is some sort of nunnery?"
"Well, it's your place, and I'm a guest!"
"And I've told you that you're free to relax while you're here," Adagio said pointedly, standing between Buck and the fridge. She took the carton of juice that he would have grabbed and placed it on the counter behind her.
"Okay, well, would you mind if I had some of that juice you've got on the counter?"
"No! I never would, because it's insignificant. I don't care if you eat food out of my fridge, drink from my wine rack, use the bathroom or lay in my bed. Do what you want!"
"Okay, geez! Now, can you please move aside?"
Adagio's put-upon ambivalence finally shattered into fury. She glared at Buck as if he were a screaming child on an airplane. She was beyond irritated, but more than that, she felt crushed that the distance between them only seemed to grow with time. 
Something needed to be done.
"No. I won't move aside. Do you remember what you said about respecting boundaries?" Adagio put her hands on her hips.
"Yeah?" Buck shifted nervously as Adagio poked at his chest.
"This is me establishing a boundary. For the sake of my sanity and yours, I don't ever want you to ask me for anything. While you are here, you will be honest with your emotions. While you are in my presence, you will do as you please and take as you please!"
There was no sensuality here. No flirtation. She was serious.
"But what if I need something that I can't grab?" Buck mumbled. Adagio's eye twitched. She counted to three and then smiled.
"If you have to ask, Say 'Get Me This.' or 'I'll have That." If you're preoccupied, you could point, or hold your hand out.
Just don't beg, or snivel at me, or gods forbid, say please. When you're with me, if you want something, you simply take it. I am not Ditzy Doo. You are free to be yourself with me, and I won't tolerate this formal stuffiness in my home! Not from you! Have I made myself clear?"
"...alright, Adagio." 
"Wonderful." Adagio sighed. Her shoulders dropped, and her hands came down to Buck's sides. Without even thinking, she hugged Buck tightly. It was the most intimate contact they'd had in what seemed like years. The heat was intense. She had known, of course, that Buck never stopped wanting her. But at that moment, she felt surrounded by his desperate need of her, needing to feel her against him. He was burning.
When Adagio pulled away, she was holding Buck's hand, but neither seemed to notice. Their eyes were locked on each other.
"Now. Tell me what you want." Adagio said, her voice sliding into pillow talk territory.
"Hand me that juice?"
"Of course, Buck." Adagio smiled and placed her glass in his hand. Buck could see the outline of her lip balm on the rim. "Not so hard, is it?"
Adagio strutted back to the open space.
"Speak for yourself..." Buck mumbled under his breath. Adagio felt a flicker of his flame and smirked at him over her shoulder.
"Let's get back to the fun stuff, shall we?"





It was just after sunset when she finished classes.
Wind Sprint drove her Dad's old car to the east side. 
She returned to an empty house. It had not been a home for some time.
Everything was neat and tidy, the way Mom liked it. If serial wiping and dusting was a crime, Mom was a lifelong criminal. Sometimes it felt like Wind Sprint was in jail. Sitting across the table at dinner was her only real visitation hours. It was just about the only "family tradition" left between them. 
She had taken Dad's picture off the mantlepiece. Said she was putting it next to her bed. That had been an argument, even though Wind Sprint still had pictures on her phone.
They were pictures of a much better time.
Now, Wind Sprint returned to her jail cell, taking heavy steps up the stairs, checking her phone. She flipped through her recent pictures. Most of them were of Scootaloo.
Wind Sprint blushed and landed stomach down on her bed. Scootaloo had looked really shocked. She actually made eye contact, then! Awesome! If only Wind Sprint could stop acting like a total simp around her, maybe Scootaloo would actually wanna hang out.
She was too tired to shower and clean up, but as she groaned into her pillow, she felt a rumbling in her stomach. She forgot to eat. That was happening a lot lately. 
There was a sticky note on the fridge; another thing that happened a lot just recently.
"Out with Quibble! Dinner's in the fridge!" 
Wind Sprint sneered. She didn't need Mom to cook; she was nineteen! She could take care of herself.  Wind Sprint shivered. The curtains blew for a moment, then settled.
There was a plastic container of spaghetti waiting for her. Vegan meatballs. 
Wind Sprint rolled her eyes. Stupid mom and her stupid boyfriend were out for another stupid date night. She was too tired to be pissed. She was too tired to feel much of anything aside from sore angst.
She kept thinking that maybe if she tried just a little harder, someone would notice her. She just wanted someone to care that she was alive. Maybe Scootaloo could be that person if she really impressed her. Somehow passing her on the track wasn't enough.
As the microwave beeped, Wind Sprint shuddered. 
She still hadn't really processed what happened. How did she run so fast?
And why were her ears still ringing?




> Chapter 28 - Bedroom Community (Glass Beach)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

How long had Buck been sitting on Adagio’s couch, trying to make something happen? He didn’t know, and he was certain that Adagio didn’t care. 
Buck knew what Adagio was doing. 
She was pushing a paradigm that he wasn’t ready to confront. 
He had to summon “passion” and give it to her. In his head, that meant a hundred thoughts and one action that he would prefer to ignore.
At the same time, there was too much at stake to just bury his head in the sand, and so he tried to send his energy through his arm and up Adagio's to no avail.
Adagio saw an odd pink fuzz dancing above Buck’s head. His eyes were closed in concentration, but inside the little chaotic image, Adagio saw blinks of her own eyes and smile, tentacles flailing, a dragon roaring, and for just a second, Ditzy Doo’s concerned expression.
After a few moments of watching him strain, Adagio let go of Buck’s hand.
“Enough. You need rest. Why don’t you go run yourself a bath?”
“Come on, 'dagio, this's important! What if that poor girl gets attacked tomorrow or tonight? I’d rather you have enough energy to make a difference.”
“You don’t need to use mana transference for that. I can easily drink you, instead.”
“Sure, but that ain’t the case for everybody. What if Starlight gets in trouble, or Scoots?”
“Since when did you care? I thought you were firm in the stance that you wouldn’t get tangled up in the Pillar’s escapades?”
“Well yeah, but  it’s better safe than sorry, right? I'm not lookin' for trouble, but if trouble finds me and one of you is around, isn't it better if I'm prepared? I mean, I guess the best case scenario is just staying away, but you never know when-”
“Buck, stop. You’re winding yourself in knots. Decide if you’re in or out, and commit to it. This wishy-washy behavior doesn’t suit you.”
“‘Scuse me?”
“The Buck I recall from game night and the boardwalk was direct and decisive. What happened to him?”
“That Buck is really damn tired.”
“I don’t buy that. You’re much more than tired, Buck. You’re deprived.”
“Enough, already! I don’t wanna debate with you.”
“Pity, that. I do so enjoy our little talks.” Adagio smiled, and Buck was frustrated to find that he couldn’t help but smile back.
“Let me try again.”
“Your aura is starting to taste wrong. The flavor is heavily diluted; like watered-down wine. Vile. You need to rest yourself and emotionally recharge.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What did I say about groveling?”
“Just let me try a little longer!”
“Why are you suddenly so determined?”
“I’m just tryin’ to make sure no one gets hurt because of me! And hey, if I can stop people from getting hurt in general, that’s pretty good, too.”
“Oh, how dreadfully heroic. At the very least, that altruistic streak of yours will help you with mana transference. As I’ve explained, you just have to put an earnest wish behind your mana.”
“But what the fuck do you mean I just have to wish?”
“Exactly that, Buck. Remember that spellcasting is shaped by intention. You’re sending power into someone or something else. It’s a bit of an arcane investment.”
“So, like the spirit bomb?”
“The what?”
“Nevermind. What quadrant is it?”
“Order/Ethereal. You are directing the flow of mana. Despite its placement, however, this spell is often used by conjurers in the Chaos/Tellurgic camp, with great difficulty. Transferring mana to conjurations on the fly is the most common application. It’s not altogether different from casting fancies, but instead of images, you are…summoning a desired outcome by granting a stipend of mana.” 
“How do you know how much the person needs?”
“You don’t. You have to estimate it yourself. Or guess, if you’re feeling flippant.”
“Right, uh, so it’s like givin’ your boy a ten spot so he can get something to eat. A donation.”
“Yes, but instead of passing him a bill, you simply make it appear in his wallet.”
“What?”
“Like, oh, what is it you humans call it…crowdfunding? Patronage?”
“Okay, I think I get it. But how do you do it, though? I know you’ve explained it, but I’m sorry-”
“Don’t apologize. This is tricky. Doing it on command can be difficult if you aren’t practiced. Most magic that is projected outward is of the harmful variety, and yours is a bit volatile.”
“A bit?”
“This once again comes down to fine control.”
“You mean the thing I’m worst at?”
“Nonsense. You’ve been getting much better at controlling your aura, it’s just the large amounts that you have trouble with.”
“I’m not looking to blow someone up, ‘dagio. Especially not someone I care about! So I've got to get this down as quick as possible.”
“Then if you’re so determined to run yourself ragged, we’ll focus on small amounts,” Adagio sighed. “I haven’t drained any of your mana today, Buck. I’m thirsty, but you are going to give me the mana instead of me simply taking it.”
“But no pressure.”
“None at all. If you can’t do it today, I’ll simply drink you normally. Are you ready?”
Buck spent the next two hours trying to send his magic into Adagio, but he just couldn’t seem to focus on it. He kept thinking about her head exploding like an over-inflated balloon or her catching flame because he ‘felt’ at her too hard. 
That, and he didn’t really get if he was supposed to visualize something. Once or twice, he managed to get a spark of power coursing between them, but it was like a jolt of static electricity that caused Adagio to jump.
Adagio watched as Buck struggled, offering gentle tips as he went along. She watched fancies float around his head, thoughts swimming, separating and expanding. It was almost like looking into a kaleidoscope. Eventually, the abstract shapes became an exclamation point and then a small angry face that matched Buck’s expression.
“Take a break, Buck. Stand up and stretch.” Adagio said, rising from her seat. Buck followed suit, but he was nowhere near as relaxed as she was.
“Damn it! What am I doing wrong? Do I need to cram more theory, or what?”
"Hm. How did you learn to sing, Buck?" Adagio said. She poured herself a glass of white wine.
"Everybody in New Horseleans sings. It's just the culture."
"But you possess technical skill. Where did that come from?"
"Well, I was in the Ponytones back in high school. I uh, I was pretty motivated to get better, back then. It was just about the only thing I was sorta decent at. I also did street performance for a while."
"And in all that time, did you need to read sheet music to perform?"
"No."
"Did you ever stumble over your words, or forget the lyrics?"
"Well, yeah."
"And did you ever get frustrated about that?"
"Sure, but it was never a huge deal."
"So why do you get so upset when your magic misfires?"
"Because it's life and death. If I can't get a leash on this thing, everyone's in danger!"
"You're afraid of your own potential." 
"I'm afraid of lighting people on fire with my mind, yeah."
"No, you aren't. You're afraid of what you might become if your powers are let loose." 
"What's the difference? I'm a danger either way."
"Lighting people on fire is a choice. As for whatever it is that's sleeping inside you, that's simply part of who you are. Nothing more, nothing less. That's the difference." Adagio smiled at Buck, who looked in no way comforted. 
"But there's a monster in me! If I don't keep a lid on this, I'm gonna turn into somethin!"
"Oh, dear. So many men in this world are taught to think that. It's an excellent excuse for their actions. 'Oh, woe is me, I have a penis, and that means I have to act like a narcissistic rapist!" Adagio mocked.
"That's not funny, Adagio."
"Yes, because it's not a joke. I can't describe to you how exhausting it is to find men like that in so many positions of power. No one and nothing forces them to act abominably. There isn't a nine-tailed fox in your stomach making you do things, Buck.”
“...”
“What? Am I only allowed to watch anime when you’re around?” 
“No, go on.”
“The point is, what you do with your magic is your choice. If you don't want to light people on fire, that's a choice that you've made. Now that you've decided, it won't happen. There. Problem solved."
"And if it happens accidentally?"
"If someone lights someone else on fire accidentally, my first thought is that they shouldn't be allowed to keep a lighter. Not taking proper precautions is also a choice, Buck.”
“I guess…if someone shoots themself in the foot, they shouldnt’ve had their finger on the trigger.”
“Exactly! Coincidentally, I'm of the opinion that any man that harasses me on the street shouldn't be allowed to keep his penis. Removing it would be the responsible thing to do."
"Hah, well, I can't argue with that."
"Oh, I'm sure you can. You just choose not to. It's almost like you have agency! Imagine that. Besides, you also have that ghastly necklace to act as a safety. Your powers are yours."
"So you're saying that I need to own my powers to control them?"
"I'm saying that you need to be decisive in the use of your magic. And in general, certainly. Embrace your emotions, decide on a course of action and commit to it. That's all magic really is."
"So how do you do it, then? How do you embrace your emotions, 'dagio? 'cause as far as I've seen, you're not that good with 'em."
"Oh?"
"Whenever I bring up your feelings, you swerve away from the subject like an old lady that saw me walkin' down the sidewalk."
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Buck." Adagio huffed.
"Like that. Exactly like that!"
"Hmph. If you must know, the emotion I tap for my spells is ambition. The secure knowledge that what I am doing is for a cause greater than any other; my own. It means that every spell I cast exists to push my own agenda forward. I don't make excuses. I own the choices I make. Your problem is that you've spent a long time without being able to make any meaningful choices of your own. You go to work, you go home, you barely sleep, you repeat. Now you find yourself with infinite potential at your fingertips, and it frightens you." Adagio crossed her arms as she talked, watching Buck shrink away gradually. 
"And if I screw it up?"
"Well, the good news is that I've already been lit on fire for your sake, so it's nothing new." Adagio smirked.
"That don't sound like good news."
"What I mean to say is you can do as you please. Your magic is an extension of your soul. It's part of you, so treating it like something to be sealed away isn't going to help. It's a tool, and it's neither good nor bad." Adagio said.
Buck went to her fridge and poured himself a glass of juice without thinking twice about it. It brought a smile to Adagio’s face.
"Like a penis?" Buck said.
"Like a penis; exactly. Your magic is like your penis. I've already seen it, and I'm not afraid of it, so why bother hiding it?" Adagio chuckled.
"Are you coming on to me?"
"No, Buck,” Adagio rolled her eyes. “Listen to what I'm saying. Your magic is just you without the filters. If there is a monster deep inside, that monster is you. You have impulses, wants and needs and pretending that you can ignore them and still manage to be yourself will only cause you harm."
“Are you teachin' me this for my own good, or to make a point about my personality?”
“Why can’t it be both, Buck?  All I'm trying to communicate is that if you bury your feelings away, your magic won't work. You can't wait for someone's permission to be yourself.”
In the silence that followed, Buck set his drink down and stared at his changeling stone necklace on the coffee table. Fancies boiled up from his head, but he didn’t seem to notice. They were little motes of pink flame, popping like soda bubbles before they could become hearts. 
Adagio tasted Buck tensing up. When he looked at her again, his eyes shined with wetness.
"Can I have your permission?"
"You don't need it."
"I want it."
Adagio dared to take a step forward.
"I demand that you be yourself in my presence. I won't settle for anything less." It was haughty and sweet, and it drew a fleeting smile from Buck.
"Even if I make you uncomfortable?"
"If you make me uncomfortable, I'll tell you, without hesitation. I'm not an infant who cries to communicate. Loathe as I am to admit it, I like that you make me uncomfortable." 
'Even if I challenge you?" Buck took a step forward. A small one.
"You’ve been challenging me since the moment we met, Buck."
"Even if-"
"Stop it.” Adagio placed her hands on Buck’s cheeks. “Human lives are cheap and incredibly short. I am too old and too impatient to watch you waste yours trying to fit into a tiny box in someone elses' head. I get tired just sitting across from you, knowing that you're going to go home and put a mask on. You’re here to do magic, and magic requires honesty."
"So I can be honest with you?"
"Always."
Buck lunged, and Adagio felt her heart leap in her chest. 
She could taste his aching need crashing into the reality in his mind, like waves against a rocky shore. He hugged her tightly and tenderly.
"You're using me."
"For your magic, yes."
“But you’re also helping me.”
“Absolutely.”
"And you won’t lie to me?"
"I never lied to you."
"I missed you. That's the truth. Despite everything, I missed you so damn much, Adagio." 
"I know. You're a sentimental fool, Buck…" Adagio said, but her arms came up to embrace him.
"And you like that."
"...Yes."
"Because it makes you uncomfortable."
"Yes."
"You know how I feel right now?"
"Of course I do."
Buck finally pulled away and looked into Adagio's eyes. His stare was intensely vulnerable, and to Adagio’s shock, she could see a similar expression reflected in them. They had found each other again.
"If I asked you to kiss me, would you do it?"
"I don't want you to ask, Buck.” Adagio whispered. “I never want you to ask."
“You want me to be honest.”
Adagio trembled as Buck drew closer.
“Do you want me, Buck?” Adagio said.
 She could feel his heart beating. She could taste his desperate longing, but she needed to hear him say it.
“Yeah, Adagio. I want you.” Buck took Adagio by the chin and tilted her face up.
“Then you shall have me, Buck.” Adagio sighed.
She closed her eyes and let him have his way. 
Finally.
She waited, but he didn’t come.
Instead, Adagio looked up to see Buck paused, his eyes looking a little ways past this moment. A tear rolled down his cheek, and he inhaled sharply as he backed away.
"Buck?" Adagio reached out to touch his cheek, but he cringed back.
"This is wrong. I need to leave."
"Buck, you don't have to-"
"I'm sorry. Thank you. Really, thank you for this. But this is wrong, and I need to leave."
Without another word or even a look back, Buck collected his things and left.





What Buck didn’t see was what happened next. He walked even faster than his usual march, to the elevator, to the bus stop, to his bedroom.
He didn’t see how Adagio stood, staring at the door, expecting him to come back.
Other men would have realized their mistake and returned on their knees, begging for her to forgive them.
Other men would have seen Adagio for the oasis she was and luxuriated in her attention, spellbound.
Other men would have been happy to throw themselves at Adagio, for to deny her this triumph would be foolish.
Buck decided instead that he needed to go home.
Home. 
Instead of laying in Adagio’s bed, where he belonged, Buck decided that his home was that horrible little hole in the wall on the east side. 
With her.
As Adagio slowly approached her bedroom, her hands came up and clutched at her shoulders. Without his touch, she was freezing. 
Home. Her Home opened its arms to her. She needed to run a cold bath. She needed to be numb, dark, and safe.
Adagio crossed the threshold on shaking feet, but she didn't make it to the bathroom. She fell onto her bed and clutched the pillow that smelled of him and she wailed until her throat was too sore to make a sound. 
When she eventually found sleep, her face was red, and her sheets were wet. 
Home would not take her. She couldn't bear to be cold anymore.





It was Wednesday, and the air was stuffy and still at CCU. Wind Sprint had just finished lacing up her running shoes, gym bag at her side. There was a single thought rattling around in her head.
She just had to impress Scootaloo today.
“Hey, I heard you smoked Scootaloo on the track! That’s pretty hot, new kid. What’s your name, anyway?”
He had light blue skin and a slender build. His dark blue hair was coifed into a douchey cowlick with yellow frosted tips. 	At the moment, he was following Wind Sprint as she walked out of the locker room beside the athletic field.
“I’m trying to get to the track right now, actually, so-”
“Oh yeah? That’s where I’m headed, too. The names’ Gallus. I’m kind of a big deal around here. You see that junior long jump trophy from last year? All me.” He continued. 
Despite Wind Sprint picking up her stroll into a slight trot, the young man kept up, unabated.
“That’s nice and all, but I’m kind of busy.” Wind Sprint adjusted the strap on her gym bag and tried to politely shake Gallus, to no avail.
“Right, right, you’re trying to go for regionals. You’re fast, but I’ve seen your warm-ups, and they could be a lot better. Might be holding you back, you know?”
“Excuse me?”
“Hey, no sweat! I can teach you some better ones, no need to thank me, come on.” Gallus said, grabbing Wind Sprint’s wrist.
“What? Let go of me!”
“Trust me, you wanna hang with me. I’m about the nicest guy on the track, and if I’m not there, the other guys’re gonna come at you. Just stick with me. It’ll be cool.”
“I said, let go!” Wind Sprint yanked her arm free and squared her stance.
“Look, I’m trying to be nice. You need someone to look out for you, when you’re wearing shorts like that.” Gallus smirked. Wind Sprint took a step back, but Gallus stayed in her direct orbit. “I mean, you’re asking for trouble with those legs. But it’s cool. You can hang with me.”
“I don’t want your help. Leave me alone.” Wind Sprint started to walk past him, but Gallus grabbed her shoulder.
“Hey, I said I’m being nice. Don’t be a bitch.”His expression soured into a scowl. His grip was stronger this time. 
Wind Sprint felt terror shudder down her spine.
“She said she doesn’t want to play with you, Gallus. Get lost.”
Wind Sprint was expecting a teacher or a counselor. Instead, she saw Scootaloo, arms crossed, looking exactly like the kind of person that would stab a man for touching her. Fear unfolded into hope.
“This is none of your business, Scootaloo.”
“Yeah, no, it is now. How many times do you have to hang around the girl’s locker room before you take the hint? Leave her alone.”
“Or what?”
“You know what. If you don’t let her go, I’m going to get nasty, and I am totally willing to go to jail if it means kicking your ass.”
“So?”
“So, if you don’t drop this, I’m going to take that picture you sent to me last semester and send it around as a group text. To the faculty.”
“Alright, alright, you fucking psycho!” Gallus dropped his hand from Wind Sprint and stomped away like an angry toddler.	Scootaloo let out a breath and noticed Wind Sprint shaking. She also happened to notice that her bag was slightly unzipped.
“Hey, are you okay?”
“Just…what the hell is that guy’s problem?”
“He’s just your average ‘nice guy’. Really likes to pat himself on the back, but he’s just another jerk. I should’ve warned you about the guys around here. You’ve got to watch your back.”
“Yeah…it’s been sort of like this all morning, people have been talking to me because of, well, you know. It’s like everybody wants something from me.”
“Hey, yeah. Look, I was really surprised then, but I wanted to say that was great, and I’m sorry if I was kinda, I dunno, kinda distant?”
“That’s okay. I was being annoying.” Wind Sprint said, quickly. 
“How did you do that? Did you learn some sort of new technique?” Scootaloo put on the best smile she could manage, and Wind Sprint managed to match it in spite of the circumstances.
“I don’t know? I just sort of…went for it, and I got ahead! Do you think you can show me some pointers on how to stay that fast?”
“Well, I mean, sure. You looked like you were really going hard, which will get you ahead for the 60 and 100, but if you go for anything longer, you’ll probably burn yourself out. There’re ways you can maintain a speed like that and not get out of breath. It’s about the form.” Scootaloo rattled off, and she could swear she was talking in Dash’s voice, not her own.
“Okay, cool! Can you show it to me?”
“Sure. Only for a little while, though, if that’s okay. It’s really hot out here, and I don’t want to go too hard when preliminaries are on saturday.”
“That’s right! I forgot about that!”
“Are you going to run?”
“Huh?”
“Are you going for regionals?”
“I mean, I thought about it, but I thought…like, who cares, right? My Mom doesn’t like that I sprint, so even if I told her, she probably wouldn’t show up. Too busy hanging out with her crappy boyfriend. It’s not like anyone would care if I ran.” Wind Sprint rambled.
“If you wanna compete, I say go for it! I think you deffo got a shot at making it to regionals! And even if you don’t make it, if you’re serious about sprinting, it’ll be a good challenge for you.”
“You think so?”
“Well, yeah! We’d be competing, but I’d super cheer you on!”
“Thank you!” Wind Sprint squealed and threw her arms around Scootaloo. “You have no idea how cool it is to find someone that actually wants to see me run!”
“Uh…” Scootaloo managed a half-hearted pat on Wind Sprint’s back with one hand, while the other took the opportunity to exploit the opening in her gym bag.
“Sorry! Sorry, sorry, I’m really sorry! That was super weird, wasn’t it?” Wind Sprint scrambled backward, blushing.
“Hey, that’s alright! No worries! Uh, well…I’m gonna go ahead and run, now. If you want, I can give you pointers after my set, okay?”
“No, no, no, I think I’m gonna go take a shower and maybe, like, die a little? From embarrassment?” Wind Sprint said, before abruptly turning on her heels and heading straight back to the lockers.
“...huh. So that’s what that’s like.”






It was still Wednesday, and Ditzy was taking refuge from the heat on a small couch in a cozy little office.
Cozy was clearly an aesthetic that Silver Spoon had clearly spent some time developing. 
There was a bookshelf against one light blue wall, filled with topics of interest and little hobby manuals. Ditzy saw something for origami and knitting and painting and all sorts of other things that tickled her curiosity. There were plants hanging in the window; leafy green filters that the harsh summer sun had to pass through on the way into the room.
So far, therapy had been both tense and relaxing, like growing a garden for the first time. Ditzy Doo had been planting seeds with her bare hands, and Silver Spoon was helping her find the tools that would make it easier.
“I’d like to ask you an important question, Ditzy Doo. You’re not obligated to answer, I just think it will help me to contextualize things.” Silver Spoon said, tapping at a discreet tablet.
“Okay…what is it?” 
“You went to Canterlot High, so you’ve seen what magic can do, for good or bad. What is it exactly about magic that bothers you so much?”
“Magic caused the bad stuff that I talked about before.”
“I understand. That must have been very painful for you. Did magic have an effect on your situation directly, or did it affect the people in your life at the time?”
“Both. It would have been bad even if it was, uh…normal, but magic allowed it to happen, and magic made it worse.”
“Do you want to talk about that time? I don’t exactly have any details besides the specific type of trauma.”
“I don’t. Not today, please.”
“That’s perfectly fine.”
“But, I guess to answer your question, I don’t think magic is, like, evil? I think it does bad stuff to people, and it lets people do bad stuff to other people, and I don’t want to have to deal with it. It makes everything more complicated.”
“I understand. How are you feeling this week, Ditzy?”
“Stressed. Money is funny, as usual, but we’re getting by. Work has been hell, and then there’s the whole Buck situation.”
“He’s a situation, now?”
“He always is.” Ditzy smiled, looking out the window.
“Aren’t we all? Do you want to tell me about the Buck situation? Has he been a handful, lately?”
“He tells me he loves me every day. I mean, every single day, even when he's super tired. Sometimes he forgets to, and he apologizes and says it to me then. He does all these little things I notice…like he knocks on the counter before he steps into the kitchen because he doesn’t want to sneak up, and he offers his hand to me so I can place it in a comfy spot when we sit together; like on my thigh or around my shoulder, and he always, always asks if he can kiss me. And it’s funny; Buck will forget to feed himself or brush his hair, or what day of the week it is, but he never forgets to ask me how I’m doing. You know; ‘how’s Dinky?’ ‘That’s a cute skirt, did you make it?’ ’How was work for you?’ He notices everything and he wants to make me feel seen, doesn’t he? So why doesn’t he notice that he’s running himself ragged?”
“So you’re worried that he’s neglecting himself in favor of caring for you?”
“Yes! He paid for these sessions with money he got in a…in a not so good way; not illegal or anything!”
“But not good.”
“Yeah. He just gave it to me! Didn’t even have to think about it!“
“So you have a problem with him being generous?”
“Maybe a little…but also, I don’t know if I really…trust him?”
“Well, that’s completely understandable, considering your background. Trust is hard to repair once it’s been broken.”
“But he never betrayed me, or anything! It’s not his fault!”
“It’s not about him. Trauma can change the way you view relationships, and it makes sense that you would have trust issues.”
“Okay, but, maybe it is him, a little bit.”
“Oh?”
“I know you sort of know him, maybe?”
“We’re loosely acquainted.”
“Don’t tell him I said this, okay?”
“Everything that’s said in this room is confidential.”
“I don’t know if I trust him, because…well, I mean, he’s done some—some work that he’s not proud of. And it’s like, I have no idea what kind of other stuff he did before he met me and if he’s still doing it! I mean, how would I know? And it’s not just that, he acts different with other people. He’s more honest and open with Sunburst, he and Scootaloo are always laughing out loud around each other, and when he was with Adagio he was…like…”
“Yes? What was he like?”
“Horny. And, bold and aggressive…and I dunno, like, sharp. Manly, I guess, maybe a little mean. Like he could take charge at any moment, and Adagio brought that out in him, I guess because she’s kinda the same way! But that’s not him, is it? The Buck I know is this big teddy bear with these puppy dog eyes and the gentlest hands ever. He’s sweet! He’s not like what the rumors say, and he’s not some sort of monster, he’s my big cuddly guy! And he’s great with Dinky! I really, really feel like we could have a future together!”
“But?”
“But I keep wondering that maybe that’s not real, because sometimes he’s like the perfect boyfriend, but lately, he just seems a little…”
“Lost?”
“Yes! Exactly! Sometimes I’ll tap him on the shoulder, and he looks at me like he just woke up! He gets so distant sometimes, and I wonder if he really is this guy I fell in love with, or he’s just pretending.”
“Because you don’t want to fall into the same situation as before.”
“Yeah! Because he’s horny! He’s horny way more often than I thought, and, and putting everything else aside, I just…I don’t have the time to take care of that for him, and I’m not really…like that…as much.”
“So he’s not being catered to in the bedroom. That’s pretty typical of early relationships.”
“He hasn’t said it to me, but I heard him mention it to Sunburst. I’m sort of waiting for him to say it, you know?”
“Sounds like a communication issue. And adding your specific trauma to the mix doesn’t help. You have hard limitations.”
“Which we’re working around! He said it’s fine, but I know that’s not the whole truth. I want to do more, but I don’t know how, and that doesn’t feel right, because it’s not like he asked me to do that for him. I shouldn’t have to do that for him, right? It should be, uh, mutual.”
“So you’re afraid that you’re not doing enough for him, but you’re also afraid to do too much for him? And he’s off learning magic with his ex, which worries you.”
“Yeah! How could I not be worried? What if this whole magic business is just another Fillydelphia waiting to happen? What if Buck changes because of it? What if he’s already changed, and he’s just acting like nothing is different? What if I do something, or say something that sets him off and-”
“Okay, I need you to take a deep breath. You’re safe here, Ditzy.”
Ditzy tried to catch her breath. She felt her heart beating fast, and before she could catch herself, she started up again.
“But he wouldn’t! I know he wouldn’t because he loves me, and I feel sick to my stomach that I’m scared anyway! It’s not fair, to either of us!”
“I understand.”
“And what if I’m making a mistake? What if I do something, and I lose him, like what happened with Adagio?”
“What do you mean?” 
“We’re together because I kissed Buck when they were together.” 
“You had an affair with him?”
“It was a kiss! It was just a kiss!”
“But now you’re dating.”
“...Even though he explained that she lied to him and hurt his feelings, he still talks about her like he really cares, and I’m scared she’s going to steal him away from me, like I stole him from her. I keep waiting for him to come home and tell me it’s over. But he wouldn’t do that! He loves me, and it’s not fair that I can’t trust him with this!”
By now Ditzy’s legs were up on the couch, and she was holding a pillow to her chest. She was on the verge of tears.
“Well, Ditzy, I can see that this is a multi-faceted problem with no easy solutions. I’m not exactly qualified to address the intricacies of relationships; that’s my sister’s game. What I can do is tell you this; much like Buck, you need to focus on yourself more.”
“What do you mean?”
“How often have you gotten to just take time for yourself and do as you please since your daughter was born?”
“Not a whole lot…she’s my whole world.”
“And now Buck is part of that world, and he’s adding all sorts of extra complications on top of it.”
“He’s not doing it on purpose…”
“I understand that, but Ditzy, I think you may be fixated on looking after him because he’s giving you a sort of care that you haven’t had in a long time. I think the two of you may have similar pain, and you’re trying to heal him the way you need to be healed.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, it’s common for those who have been in situations like yours to have difficulty trusting others, but also themselves. Your self-esteem has suffered, and the validation that Buck gives by paying careful attention to you has had an impact. Would you say that’s the case? Does he make you feel seen and appreciated?”
“Yes.”
“But not safe?”
“I don’t know if I know how to feel safe. Does that make sense?”
“It absolutely does. I know that you’re having fun spending time with Buck, but the way you talk about him, it sounds like you’re trying to put him into a slot he doesn’t exactly fit. I think you need to break away from this mindset that you’re obligated to take care of him.”
“How do you mean?” 
“From what you’ve told me, you do more than your fair share of doting on him with acts of service and emotional support. What you need is to take care of yourself. That’s what we’re here for, after all. I think what’s happening is that you’ve attached the ideal of having a happy life to Buck and now you want to preserve that ideal at any cost, because you believe that pursuing him is the same as pursuing happiness.”
“But he does make me happy!”
“Yes, but are you happy because you’re with him, or is it the idea of being with a supportive partner that makes you happy?”
“I dunno! Both, I guess? He makes me feel like I’m a little more whole. Like with him, I can move on.”
“Right, right. But do you love the man, or the idea of him?”
“I don’t know. I just don’t know what went wrong! I thought we were fine!” Ditzy sobbed.
 Silver Spoon sat silently, letting her vent. After a moment, Silver Spoon passed Ditzy a handkerchief.
“I’m sorry for upsetting you, Ditzy. Do you want to take a break?”
“No…I just wish you would tell me what I need to do to fix this.”
“I don’t like to use the word ‘Fix’ when it comes to mental health. It implies that your problems are dents on a car that can be buffed out, when really they are wounds that need to be treated and healed. I think we need to shift away from trying to ‘fix’ this situation, and figure out how to help you heal.”
“Okay. How do I heal, then?”
“This may sound selfish to you, but you need to consider your own happiness before you worry about his. If his needs interfere with your own, you should prioritize your own.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that you need to decide what you want from this relationship. You’ve established your boundaries and he seems to respect them, and that’s good. But if you’re concerned that he isn’t having his needs met because of those boundaries, the two of you might not be as compatible as you first thought, and that may mean that your relationship will have to change.”
“Change how?”
“You need to find a balance between caring for your daughter and finding your own joy. If Buck’s needs can’t fit into that dynamic right now, it may be better for the two of you to take a break.”
“But I don’t want to leave him alone! And I don’t want to be alone either! He’s important to me, and we make each other happy! Why can’t that be enough?”
“I don’t mean you have to leave him. It just seems to me that you both have your own battles to fight, and they might not intersect. You need to have a frank conversation with yourself about what your needs are, because they are a part of who you are.”
“My needs are part of who I am?”
“Yes. If you want to live a happy and fulfilling life, you need to fulfill your needs and pursue your wants.”
“Okay.”
“I’d like you to carry this question home today; what does Ditzy Doo want, and what does she need?”
Ditzy Doo stared at the floor, and after nearly bursting into tears all over again, she finally found the words.
“I just want to have my happy ending. Haven’t I earned it?” 





“All I’m saying is that whatever you want to do, I will support you.” 
Wind Sprint stood in the foyer of her parent’s house. She had stopped on the way in from practice, waiting in agony for the ‘but’ that was coming.
“But you don’t have to be a sprinter if you don’t want to. No one ever said you had to follow in his footsteps, and I don’t want to pressure you-”
“So you’re cool with me free-running, then?”
“Mmmaybe you should chose something that’s a little less dangerous, hm? I don’t want you to run your way into the emergency room. I’ve seen enough of that. It's not too late; I could always teach you crochet."
Wind Sprint frowned. She could see into the living room, where a glass of wine sat on a table next to a cushy chair, facing away. A pale pink hand moved a crochet hook in a methodical dance.
“Whatever, Mom.”
Wind Sprint turned the door handle, then cringed as her mother spoke again. Her tone was gentle but just the slightest bit annoyed. It had been that way for a while now.
“Hang on.”
“What is it?”
“Oh, I don’t know; I feel like we never talk anymore.”
“So…?” 
“Well, have you found a boyfriend, yet?”
“No.”
“Well, I’m just saying that if you found a nice boy, maybe you wouldn’t be such a frowny face all the time, hm?”
“Ugh, for the last time, I’m not like you! I don’t need a boyfriend!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. I’m going.”
“Well, even though my daughter is being nasty today, I just want her to know that I love her, and since she’s so determined to beat a hole into her shoe, I’m still going to come to her little race.”
“Oh great, so you’re going to show up with your dumb neckbeard and pretend were a normal family.”
“Excuse me?”
Wind Sprint walked upstairs quickly. She heard the creak of the chair as her mother rose.
“Where are you going? Come back here, young lady!”
“Leave me alone!”
A door slammed. Some old speakers crackled to life with enough base to rattle the slightly dusty action figures on the shelf next to them.
Soon, the opening chorus of a sentimental song started, but it couldn’t drown out the argument to come.





Sunburst stepped into his suite with a paper bag. The side of it had a graphic of a bubbling cauldron with sparkling smoke coming out of it. 
Starlight Glimmer was carefully chalking out a spell circle on the coffee table.
“Ah, right where I left her."
"Hahahahah." Starlight laughed without a hint of sincerity. She smiled as Sunburst kissed the top of her head. 
"Did you remember to water Phyllis?”
“No. I’ve been trying to figure out a mana-efficient way to cast this aura map spell. Scootaloo said she has the tracking talisman on the girl now, but she could live anywhere in the city, and casting a spell that accounts for that radius would take a lot more power than a couple of quartz crystals.”
“I’m sure you’ll figure it out. Maybe after lunch?”
“Did you get the components I asked for?”
“Everything except the moth wings. She was fresh out.”
“Damn! I needed those to listen in! Now we’ll have to spy on her in person.” Starlight groaned.
“Maybe we don’t have to spy? Maybe Scoots will get us some relevant information before anything happens?”
“Not likely. The girl is skittish, apparently. Likes to run away when she gets emotional.”
“Sounds familiar.” Sunburst smiled.
“Regardless, she’ll be running in a public track and field event. Someone will probably come after her then.”
“Either way, bing-bong, this is your personal boyfriend clock, reminding you to take a break!” 
“In a minute. Let me see what we have.” Starlight said, grabbing the brown bag. One by one, she placed the contents onto the couch cushion next to her.
Along with the usual pieces of quartz, black obsidian, a clay effigy, and a shrike’s beak, there was a small leather bag tied with twine, a spool of golden thread, and a petrified two-headed caterpillar, or was it a slug?
“I know the golden thread is for arcane lasso. I don’t actually know what those extra two are.” Sunburst said as Starlight carefully examined the quality of the components. She held up the weird bug.
“This is rare, two-headed velvet worm. They can spit out a web to catch their prey, and they're also quite magical.”
“Ah, a sticky web spell.“
“And the bag?”
Starlight grimaced.
“It’s zombie powder. It will help me cast a mind-control spell.”
“What!?”
“Just a minor one!”
“Starlight, you’re not going to try and hypnotize Buck into giving you his power, are you?”
“No, Sunburst! I’m going to use it to interrogate whatever cloak is after that sprinter! The one we fought talked about a “master,” which probably means they have a slavish devotion to their leader. They won’t sell him out by choice, so I figured I would just command them to with a motor mouth spell.”
“I see. That makes sense.”
“But that’s a good idea. I didn’t think of that.” Starlight said.
“Starlight!”
“Kidding! I’m kidding!”
“Are you?”
“Yes!” Starlight smiled unconvincingly.
“...So, you don’t know how to get this spell off, with the city’s size?”
“Yes. It’s a real brain buster…if we just had more mana, everything would be so much simpler.” Starlight groaned.
“So the distance is the problem?”
“No, it’s the scale. To ping the tracking talisman is easy, but to get an accurate scrying of the sprinter’s aura, we need to turn the tracker into a transmitter, and that means sending out our aura as a wave like a radio signal.
“Is that how it’s done in the book?”
“Yes, I think. Could you check it for me?” 
Sunburst plucked a weighty tome from his desk and flipped through it quickly.
“Let’s see…In the imperial days, unicorn guards would place tracking talismans around the edge of their forts and then use them like transistors, sending their mana in a circuit. Then they would be able to see the auras of everyone inside.”
“Why would they do that?”
“In case there were changeling spies.” Sunburst grimaced.
“I see. Without the moth wings to help with scrying part, we would need to scatter tracking talismans all over the city to make this spell work.”
“And there’s no time for that. The cloaks could make their move any day now.” 
The doorbell rang.
“And that’s lunch!” Sunburst said, rising.
“What did you order?”
“Pizza!” Sunburst smiled over his shoulder, giving the delivery guy a tip.
“With?”
“Pineapple, of course!”
“I love you.” 
“I know you do. Now relax, and have something to eat.”
Sunburst was delighted to see Starlight uncoil herself for just a little while. When was the last time they went kite flying together or had a date in genera? Sunburst couldn’t remember.
As Starlight mumbled her way through lunch, she seemed more relaxed than she’d been in months. Maybe it was having more people on the team, or just being in her element, or being a teacher. Whatever it was, Sunburst would trade anything away to keep seeing this smile on Starlight’s face.
“I’ve got it!”
“Hm?” Sunburst said. He hadn’t realized he was zoning out. 
“How to get the spell across town! Instead of creating a wide field, all I have to do is send my mana to where the tracking talisman is! Like an arrow!”
“Oh, I see! That way it would be more like an arcane bolts spell, and you can save on the mana cost!”
“Exactly. I’ll make it into a tether, so when it lands, we’ll have a direct connection. Like an ethernet cable!”
“Ah, that’s brilliant, Starlight!”
“Could you help me with this?”
Starlight made some careful adjustments to the spell circle while Sunburst placed a chunk of quartz in the center. The two sat together and held hands. Motes of cyan and yellow light mingled above the spell circle.
“Like an arrow, Sunburst…” Starlight reminded, eyes shut in focus.
The light molded into a pointed shape, and with a brief flash, it streaked insubstantially through the window. The thread of arcane force it left in its wake anchored itself to the spell circle and wiggled like a fisherman’s line.
“I’ll keep it steady. Can you ping the tracking talisman?”
“Right.”
The arrow of mana weaved and darted through the air, through glass and steel and concrete, faster and faster until it finally landed.
“Got it!” Starlight said. Her eyes opened to see a flickering image taking shape before her. It was fuzzier than Starlight had wanted, but she could make out a rough cross-section of a bedroom and the backyard just beyond its window.
The twisting bluish aura was swirling around a human silhouette, was making angry gestures in the direction of a far more tepid, lighter blue aura. Fists were raised and a foot was stamped, and then the little blue tornado slammed a door.
“Looks like an argument.” Sunburst said. “Maybe a parent?”
The blue aura flared and swirled with intensity, flopping dramatically onto a bed.
“Seems like kind of a drama queen.” Starlight said.
“We were teenagers once, too. Give the girl a break.” Sunburst said.
“...what’s that?” Starlight said. She squeezed Sunbursts’ hand briefly, and something she saw on the periphery of the aura map came into view. It was a strange, dark aura. It didn’t waver or pulse; it stood as still as a gravestone.
“That aura is static. Tellurgic, possibly, but something isn't right.” Sunburst said.
“That has to be another cloak…!” Starlight said.
The creepy aura moved slowly away from the window and into the trees lining the backyard before disappearing completely.
Sunburst relaxed, then took Sunbursts’ hand, holding it gently.
“They must be biding their time. Waiting for the emotions to fester so they can explode when there’s a lot of people present.”
“Who would sink so low as to come after teenagers?” Starlight’s grip tightened almost painfully.
“We’ll find out, Starlight.”
“We’d better. We have to assume that they’ll make their move on Saturday. We’ll catch them off guard before they can cause any chaos.”
“Right,” Sunburst said. His smile brought a bit of reassurance to Starlight, who’s grip finally relaxed. “Wait, did you say Saturday?”





Buck awoke on Saturday to a heat so oppressive it seemed he had used up all his sweat just surviving the night. It was an effort to peel himself out of the bedsheets, hoping that Ditzy wouldn’t mind him using one of her bathroom towels to get dry.
“It shouldn’t be legal for it to get so hot this far north.” Buck grumbled. He shuffled laboriously out of the bedroom and into a scene of sheer bliss.
There was a fresh, perspiring pitcher of lemonade on the kitchen counter and a little plate with three muffins on it. The fan was on in the patio door, keeping the room as cool as possible. 
And then, of course, there was Ditzy. Buck never trucked with the idea of the housewife. His mother had made it clear when he was young that women are meant to choose their own roles, and 'woman of the house" is the most malleable of all. There was no space for chasing dreams when a woman was expected to do all the damn housework all the damn time. And yet, here Ditzy was, sitting daintily on the couch, knitting her way through a rip in her daughter’s overalls, looking like the cover of a 50’s home catalog with a high-waisted skirt and a light blue shirt. Buck wasn’t sure if he should feel worried or awed.
And then he remembered. He was supposed to feel guilty.
“Mornin’, Muffin,” Buck said, sleepily. Ditzy jumped a little at that. “Sorry! Wasn’t tryin’ to scare you.
“Oh, no, that’s okay! I didn’t hear you get up!” Ditzy said with a smile. She leaned her head back in time to receive a sweet kiss.
“Where’s Dink?”
“Sunburst came and picked her up. We’ve got the house to ourselves.”
“Does that mean I can take my pants off?”
“Well, if you want! But you might wanna eat your brunch. That track thing you mentioned is in a few hours, and I don’t want Scootaloo to think you forgot about it!”
Buck opened the fridge and was struck dumb by what he found. He quickly opened up a wedge covered in plastic wrap and tasted roast beef, pepper jack cheese, and a bit of hot sauce. He couldn’t remember ever telling Ditzy what his favorite sandwich was, and yet here it was.
         He couldn't get it into his mouth fast enough.
“You’re not talkin’ to me, so I guess you like the food!” Ditzy giggled.
“Well, yeah, it’s great!” Buck said, around a mouthful. “What’s the occasion?”
“Nothing big, I just wanted to treat you! You’ve been real quiet for the last couple of days, and I just thought it would help a little.” Ditzy’s smiled gently, one eye settling on Buck as he sat down next to her. 
“That’s really romantic, actually.” Buck said. He reached for Ditzy’s hand and then realized it was busy working a needle. As he pulled his hand back, Ditzy stopped what she was doing and took it.
“I’m not super good with the words sometimes…but I can do brunch, so that’s gotta count for something, right?” She laughed.
“It’s perfect. You don’t know how, I dunno, how weird it feels to have someone that does that kind of thing in my life. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Ditzy.”
“Starve, maybe.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Just a little bit.” Ditzy giggled.
“C’mere.”
The kiss was tender and long. Ditzy laced her fingers in Buck’s and sighed as his lips went from hers to her cheek and her forehead and the tip of her nose.
"How're you feeling today, Muffin? How's therapy?"
"Good! It's, really hard, but in a good way!"
"Hah! Giggity."
"Stop, you know what I mean! It's really tough and complicated, but it really feels like I'm making progress."
"Well that's good to hear. Anything you wanna talk about?"
Ditzy went quiet, and Buck imagined a dial tone on an old telephone. Uh-oh. He was very familiar with that particular silence. 
“Buck…are you happy? With this? With us?”
“You make me plenty happy, yeah.”
“And you know you can talk to me about anything, right?”
“Yeah?”
“So, what’s bothering you?” Ditzy said, finally. Her smile didn’t leave, but the gentle squeeze of her hand showed her concern.
“Huh?”
“You’ve been coming to bed without a word, and you’ve been sorta intense lately, and you only do that when you have a big idea, or something’s bothering you. Is it money? Is it work? You can tell me.”
“I mean, it’s always money and work.” Buck said.
“And what else?”
“...I’m just burnt out, that’s all.” Buck kissed Ditzy’s shoulder and laid his head there.
“Are you sure?”
There were a million things Buck wanted to say. That something had almost happened and he was beating himself up about it. That he was scared a distance was growing between them because of his training. That learning magic wasn’t really a stressor; it was anything but. And it all turned to ash in his mouth because all he wanted to do was hold on to this moment. The smell of Ditzy’s sea spray shampoo and the coolness of the fan and quiet conversations were all he should want for.
“I just wanna do what I wanna do, instead of workin’ so damn hard.”
“I get it.” Ditzy cleared her lap and patted it. Buck couldn’t resist the invitation. 
The feeling of Ditzy stroking his hair, her breasts sitting lightly on the side of his face, and the softness of her thighs brought a feeling of serenity that he knew he wouldn’t be able to find again in a million years.
“I know with this kind of job, it can make you feel trapped, and it’s worse for you because you have to go and learn this dangerous stuff, too, and it's all thankless. But you know what? You paid all that money to send me to therapy, and you’ve been stepping up in helping with Dinky, and all the while, you make me and everyone else smile whenever you can. And nobody seems to see it, but I do. I can see you doing your best because I’m right here with you. So, I don’t want you to feel like you can’t complain to me, or you can’t be open. If you need to cry, I’m here for you. You don’t have to be alone in this. You can always tell me what's going on. I'll listen.”
“Okay.” Buck choked out. “I love you, Ditzy Doo.”
“I love you, too. “
Buck tried to exorcise his guilt. He wanted to confess his feelings but ended up blurting something different out, instead.
“Someone is following this girl that Scoots has been talkin’ too. Starlight and Sunburst are pretty sure it’s one of those freaks that messed with Smolder at the fair. They might make a move any day now, so they’ve been watchin’ her.”
“Okay…so what?”
“Well, they’ve figured out that these guys are trying to stir up trouble at public events so they can…sorta suck out the panic and use it for something else.”
“What?”
“Magic is weird. Point is, there might be something going down at the prelims…and Starlight asked me to help if things pop off.”
“Starlight did?” Ditzy’s hand stopped stroking Buck’s head.
"Uh-huh."
"Starlight did."
“Yeah. Is that...does that bother you?"
"Nope! What did she ask you to do?"
"With my powers, she figures I can be like a fuel tank that she and Scoots can tap, in case they end up usin’ a lot of mana. I said no at first, and hell, even Adagio was like 'no, you should stay out of this'.”
“Okay…”
"But I'm not sure, now. What if they really do need me out there?"
“What do you want to do?”
“I want to help if I can.”
Ditzy was silent. Buck sat up and found either dull anger or disappointment in Ditzy’s eyes. He wasn’t sure which.
“Without getting into a fight, or anything! I just…I wouldn’t feel good about it if it turned out they needed that mana and I wasn’t there.”
“You think they need you?”
“Probably.”
“Then help them.”
“Really?”
“Just this once! If it’s that important, then help. But you need to promise me that you’ll play it safe, okay?”
“I will. If we’re lucky, Starlight and Scoots will be able to handle it.”
“Is Scootaloo learning magic, too?”
“Yeah. I don’t think she’s havin’ as hard a time as me, though, which is good. Her powers are wind themed.”
“And you can turn your diddly chocolate flavored and make little hearts. Does your magic have something to do with valentine’s day?”
“Hah! I wish. That might make it easier to grasp. No one knows where my powers come from, exactly.”
“Buck…can I ask you something? Or, tell you something, I guess?”
“Always.”
Ditzy took a deep breath. This was going to be a hard conversation, and she knew it. Her head filled with things to say, and none of them seemed right.
“I…really think you should try to wrap it up with the magic stuff.  The way you talk about it is…odd, and you seem to be obsessing about it a little, and I’m worried. And now you want to show up to something that could be dangerous. It’s…it’s not like you. You have all this stress on you already, and adding magic to it is just, well, it’s way too much for any one person to handle, and I think it’s starting to mess with your head.”
“You think so?”
“What I’m trying to say is, I think that the Buck I love is getting buried by a lot of difficult stuff. And I’m here for you, you know I am! But I don’t think there’s much I can do to make it better. I feel like I’m letting you down, and it should have to be that way.”
“Muffin, I know you’re trying.” Buck said. The feeling of Ditzy’s hands in his made him feel naked and ugly.
“After all of this is done, after you get the basics down, maybe you can start spending your Tuesdays over here again, or start going to the library like you used to? Starlight said that as long as you get a good grasp of it, you won’t have to worry about your magic backfiring. When you get there…maybe we can just go back to normal? We can just be Buck and Ditzy again and figure things out.”
Buck saw an old sort of exhaustion in Ditzy’s face. He knew she’d been around events like the Fall Formal and Camp Everfree and other events like them. She’d even been at the Friendship Games. He wondered how many times she’d had to adjust to magic bullshit, how many times she had to just grin and bear the weirdness around her.
Buck didn’t want to be another magical mishap in Ditzy’s life. He was tired of being an accident.
“Buck? Are you spacing out on me, again?”
“Huh? No, no! I mean, yeah, a little, sorry I understand. Normal is good. We can try and find normal. I promise.” Buck said. He kissed Ditzy’s hands and finally saw a smile on her face.
“Okay.”
“Do uh, do you know what I wanna do, right now?”
“What’s that?”
“I wanna do some more of this.”
Ditzy squeaked in surprise as Buck kissed her again. He pulled back and smiled innocently, but Ditzy leaned forward and returned the kiss. For a bit, they sat there, trading sweet little pecks like crushing kids out on the schoolyard, but then Buck pounced.
Without warning, his hands grasped at Ditzy's breasts, and his lips were on her neck.
“Buck! Where’s this coming from?” Ditzy giggled.
“I’ve been neglecting you, haven’t I? You’re workin’ just as hard as me, if not harder. But it's Saturday, and on Saturday, I don’t wanna see my Muffin workin’ hard. I wanna see my muffin turn red. I wanna hear my muffin moan.” Buck growled, nipping at Ditzy’s neck. 
“Ah! Okay, okay, hi there, uh…okay, okay, that’s…that feels really nice, and…ah!”  Buck’s hand found its way under Ditzy’s skirt and up her inner thigh.
“My muffin’s been takin’ care of me. I wanna take care of her.”
“Buck, slow down, I don’t know if…”
“You want me to take it slow?” Buck’s thumb pressed down at the front of Ditzy’s panties. She shuddered.
“I…I’m not really in the mood for this!” Ditzy panicked.
“Oh. Oh, uh…sorry. Sorry, sorry about that! I got caught up in the…sorry.” Buck let Ditzy go and saw the shaken look on her face.
“Geez…could you maybe give a girl a little warning, first?”
“Sorry, Ditzy. I’ll be better about that, I promise.”
Buck shuffled across the couch, but Ditzy held on to his hand.
“We can….we can do that later, okay? Once we get back from the track stuff. Let’s maybe just try and have a normal-ish day, alright?”
“Alright. I’ll go get dressed, and then we can head out.” Buck kissed Ditzy’s hands and headed back to his place. Before he could dress himself, he sat on the edge of his bed.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, man?” Buck sighed, and his head slunk down into his hands.





“Can’t you just leave her there? I need you out here in the field!” Starlight whispered urgently into her phone. From her vantage point in the copse of trees just next to the field, it looked like a whole lot of people had come to cheer the runners on. 
Parents and friends and loved ones chatted amicably between bursts of athletic effort on the track. A load of people just waiting to have their emotions twisted and stolen away. Today was make or break.
“Starlight, she’s seven years old.”
“So, she’s a big girl! We were doing algebra at seven; she can manage to avoid burning your suite down!”
“Ditzy and Buck are depending on me to look after Dinky. I’ll just run comms from over here. If something happens, just shoot me a text and I’ll coordinate. Do you have eyes on Scoots?”
Starlight frowned and looked around. She could see Scootaloo chatting with the sprinter girl far across the field. They both had numbers attached to their backs.
“It looks like they’ll be racing together. Twenty-two and twenty-three.”
“Good. Scoots can keep an eye on her. What about Adagio?”
Starlight looked to the other side of the field and grimaced. Adagio seemed to be rebuking a frat boy while keeping an eye on the field and the area around. She was taking sips from a water bottle.
“She’s in position next to the bleachers. If anyone goes for the field, we’ll be able to surround them.”
“And Buck?”
“I don’t see him. I don’t think he’s going to show up.”
“Never say never.”
Starlight saw a car pull up, and she swore under her breath.
“What, what’s the matter? Did you see Buck?”
“I see him. The idiot decided to bring Ditzy Doo here! Doesn’t he know this could be a hot zone at any moment?”
“Well, it's their date night. He’s probably just didn’t want to cancel.”
“Why not?”
“Well, that would be rude.”
“Ruder than possibly putting her in danger?”
“I’m sure the three of you will be more than enough. Have you seen anything suspicious yet?”
“Nothing, yet. If things get weird out here, well, I won’t let you know unless I have a moment, but, I…this is weird.”
“You miss me already?” Starlight could hear the infectious smile in Sunbursts’ voice.
“Oh, shut up. I’m going to call Scootaloo and make sure she’s briefed.” Starlight chuckled.
“Just for me, can you keep an eye on Buck and Ditzy? According to Scoots, they’ve both been burning the candle at both ends. If something happens, I’d like you to protect them.”
“Oh, please. Ditzy can handle herself just fine, and Buck is a walking fireworks factory.”
“Just watch out for them. Please.”
“Understood. If something happens, I’ll let you know.”
“And if I don’t hear back from you a few minutes after that, I’ll send help.”





Scootaloo stood a few feet away from the locker rooms, nervously waiting for Wind Sprint to come out. She was talking quietly into her phone as Starlight reminded her of the plan.
“Stay on guard. They could come from anywhere and set things off. Just stick close to the girl, and don’t be afraid to take her down if you have to.”
“Take her down!?”
“I mean capture her, Scootaloo. You have the lasso spell I gave you, right?”
“Right. Okay. I can do this…I can do this…I can’t do this! Why do I have to lie!?” Scootaloo looked around in the least subtle way in the world.
“If someone told you that you were being targeted by magic-stealing villains, what would you do?”
“Ask them if this is a prank.”
“Well, this isn’t one, and if you insist that the girl is in danger 'because magic', she’ll think you’re crazy. We don’t want to drive her away, we just want to keep her safe.”
As Scootaloo talked, she failed to notice someone creeping up behind her.
“It just doesn’t feel right. This seems like a long way to go just to watch out for her. It feels sorta slimy.”
“I understand. If things get especially bad, we can always have the organization wipe her memory.”
“That’s worse than lying!”
“Just keep an eye out, Scootaloo.” Starlight hung up, leaving Scootaloo to gather herself.  She turned around and saw Wind Sprint, who had an unmistakably hurt look on her face.
“Uhh…”
“Was all of this a joke?”
“Okay, hear me out, that sounded bad, but I’m out here looking out for you!”
“No, no, let me guess. You’re working for my Mom, aren’t you? I told her I was running anyway, and she decided to send someone out to babysit me! Are you gonna tell me not to run? Was that the idea?” As Wind Sprint stomped the ground and balled up her fists, Scootaloo saw her hair whip around her head as if caught in a rising breeze.
“Hold on, you need to calm down. If you don’t, you might-”
“Embarrass my Mom? I can’t believe I was so stupid! I thought you actually cared!”
“I do care, but-”
“No! You know what? I don’t care what it is! I’m gonna do what I want! Get out of the way.”
Scootaloo followed Wind Sprint in lockstep, having to move her shorter legs a bit faster to keep up. As she searched the ground for something to say that would fix this, she heard the intercom crackle to life.
“Would the sprinters numbered twenty through twenty-five come to the track?”
Wind Sprint broke into a jog, Scootaloo right next to her.
“Wind Sprint, wait! It’s not what you think!” Scootaloo tried to grab her wrist, but Wind Sprint yanked it away.
“Stop following me!”
“We’re literally going to the same place!”
“Leave me alone!”
“I can’t do that!”
“Then stay out of my way!”
The air around Wind Sprint was unsettled, the dirt around her feet swirling away in a whistling wind.





Ditzy had opted for a sun hat, which Buck thought he might be able to hide under if he really cuddled up. He doubted that Ditzy would want to after what he did at brunch, but it was a nice thought.
Buck had gone for his classic black tank top and jeans, and this turned out to be a mistake. He was getting dangerously close to nosebleed range due to the choking humidity and heat, and, fool that he was, he hadn’t thought to bring anything to help him through it.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Ditzy said.
“It’s fine! I wanna show Scoots I care by bein’ here when she runs. I can survive that, I’m sure.” Buck said, fanning himself off.
“Okay…So, I wanted to ask, what did you tell Dinky to say to those bullies? She seemed really relaxed and happy, so it must’ve been something good, right?”
“Basically, I taught her how to sass.”
“What?”
“My parents called it ‘playin’ the dozens’. Someone insults you, you get’em back immediately. It’s a game! Did it all the time back when I was in elementary school.”
“Buck, that’s not a solution, that’s just mean! What did you teach my daughter to say?”
“No swears, no swears, I promise! Look, it’s like this; I wanted Dinky to know that you can’t sink down to a bullies’ level, but you also can’t just sit back and take it. I taught her some basics that’ll throw the other kids off.”
“Like what?”
“Like Pillock. That’s brit for dumbass. Stumbly lummox, bumble king, screamlord, just a whole arsenal of silly shit. You call a kid a cunt, they can run to a teacher and get you in trouble. But if you call’em an ‘unsalted pretzel’ the teacher they rat to is gonna have to try not to laugh.”
“Purple Prose, are you trying to get my daughter in trouble?” Ditzy said, making an effort to stay stern.
“I’m tryna teach her a lesson. Arguments between kids should be hilarious; not traumatizing. I’m teachin’ Dink to laugh when she gets insulted, and then clap back. It’s a skill you gotta develop early when you’re a weirdo like us, or no matter what grade you go to, it’s gonna be the same story.”
“She's not a 'weirdo'. There’s nothin’ wrong with her, Buck.”
“I’m not sayin’ there is; I’m sayin’ that even if she gets in trouble for this, learning to make tense situations more absurd is gonna help her in the long run. My Mom taught me to snark when I was little, and now I’m passin’ it on.”
“Okay…that does sound smart.”
“And hey, she might be better at it than me! You know she came up with some zingers?”
“Really? Like what?”
“Alright, check this out, imagine you’re at recess; fighting over a dodgeball, and someone rolls in and call you a ‘flippy canoe’. Brutal, right?”
Ditzy finally laughed at that, but her mirth was cut off by a shadow falling across her face.
“Here. If you insist on risking heatstroke, you should at least drink something and fight off dehydration.” 
“Thanks, babe.” Buck took the water bottle offered to him on instinct, and as he took a swig, he realized that it hadn’t come from Ditzy. Buck spluttered around the mouth of the bottle and saw Adagio smiling next to him. She was rocking a white off-the-shoulder top and a pair of puddle jeans, looking like she was on the way to some sort of photoshoot.
“What is she doing here?” Ditzy scowled. Adagio’s smile sharpened.
“Oh, just being supportive and heroic. It seems to be a trend, lately. There, Buck. Is that better?” Adagio said, taking the bottle back.
“Uh, yeah. Why, uh, why’re you up here on the bleachers?”
“I saw you suffering, as usual, and decided to help. Am I suddenly not allowed to visit when you’re with your precious girlfriend, Buck?”
“No, that’s alright, I just thought you’d be off doin’ covert ops type stuff, not palling around with me. I don’t wanna be a distraction, or a liability, you know?”
“I assure you, I’m on high alert. Whatever happens today, I can protect you and deal with it at the same time.”
“Well, if you’re planning on annoying Buck for the whole event, I’m sorry to say that we’re gonna be leaving as soon as Scootaloo does her run.” Ditzy said.
“On your way to spend some quality time, no doubt! You two must have a big evening planned; filled with gazing longingly at each other, watching TV at an agonizingly appropriate distance apart, and whatever else married couples do, I’m sure.” Adagio rolled her eyes.
“We aren’t married!” Ditzy said, as if on reaction.
“You could have fooled me. Since you’re so caught up in the throes of monogamous loyalty, I’m sure you won’t mind if I post my watch here in the audience. Buck doesn’t mind, does he?”
“I don’t; if you promise to be nice.” Buck said.
“Absolutely not.”
“Then will you at least not stir up any trouble?”
“Anything for you, Buck.” Adagio smirked.
“Wait a minute, I never signed off on that! Oh no, uh…” Ditzy looked past Buck and Adagio and visibly tensed up.
“What? What’s the matter, Muffin?” Buck said.
“Nothing, Nothing! What’s she doing here!?” Ditzy whispered. 
“Who?”
“Just, uh…just act normal!” Ditzy said
“The fuck does that mean?” Buck said.
“Language! Don’t talk about magic, or, or weird stuff, or anything!” Ditzy straightened up and screwed on a smile just as a willowy woman with light pink skin and pale hair with a blue streak through it approached the trio.
She was wearing a breezy pink button-up and a navy blue ascot, which Buck identified as a bewildering choice, but not nearly as shocking as the fact that she was wearing Quibble Pants on one of her arms. A look of horror was slowly bleeding onto Quibble’s face.
“Ditzy Doo! I thought that was you! It’s so nice to see you out and about!” Clear Sky spoke in a voice somewhere on the sliding scale between Heather and Karen.
“Hi, Clear Sky! How are you doing today?” Ditzy strained. “Oh, I’m doing just fine! And who’s this? Is this the infamous boyfriend that I’ve been hearing about?”
“You been talkin’ about me?” Buck said, raising an eyebrow at Ditzy.
“Not really.” Ditzy frowned. Clear Sky took a seat next to her as if she had reserved it.
“Ditzy’s mentioned you once or twice, but I never would have guessed you were a guy with a reputation!”
Buck saw Ditzy blush and grimace. He touched her hand gently, and that seemed to help a little bit.
“He doesn’t do that type of thing anymore.” Ditzy said.
“Well, that’s a shame! From what I’ve seen, he’s very impressive in action!” Clear Sky smiled.
“You think so? Are you uh…a fan?” Buck said, raising an eyebrow at Quibble.
“Oh, no. No, no, not at all. I just think it was heroic how you and your associates took on that beast at the boardwalk! The way you swung that axe, you have the makings of an excellent firefighter.” Clear Sky said.
Buck felt the tension leave Ditzy’s hand.
“Thanks, uh…” Buck looked over at Ditzy.
“Clear Sky. Crochet.” Ditzy said.
“Ah! Got it!” Buck said, reaching over. “They call me Buck, and yeah, I’m the boyfriend.” 
Clear Sky tortured Buck with a limp-wristed handshake, but her smile was as polite as ever.
“Where did you two meet? The thrift store?” Clear Sky said, as pleasant as can be. Adagio tasted Ditzy seething, but couldn’t get anything from Buck. His expression remained neutral.
“Good guess. No, we’re neighbors.”
“Ah! That makes sense. I can’t imagine Ditzy meeting you anywhere besides the east side.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ditzy growled.
“Don’t sweat it, Muffin.” Buck said, with a smile. “I hear you can hook up a mean sweater! Issat how you managed to tie up Quibble here, or did you have to use bait?”
Buck emphasized the last word, patting Ditzy’s thigh.
“Really, Buck?” Quibble said. “A pun?”
“What? Did I sew a little discord in you, Quib?”
“Ughh…bad one.” Ditzy groaned.
“I thought it was clever.” Adagio smiled.
“Quibble? Are you friends with Buck, here?” Clear Sky’s sudden frown rooted Quibble Pants to the spot.
“I wouldn’t say that.” The men said in unison.
“But you know each other?” 
“Oh sure, me and Quibble have been playin’ games for a few years now.” Buck said.
“Games?”
“Golf!” Quibble exploded. “We used to play golf, but we haven’t in a while. Scheduling problems.” Buck and Ditzy squinted at him, while Adagio smiled sharply.
“Some strange circumstances made us cancel. I hope you didn’t take it personally, Quibble.” Adagio chimed in.
“Oh, is this another friend of yours?” Clear Sky said.
“I’ve been known to make appearances at the…golf course with Buck and Quibble from time to time. I’m Adagio Dazzle. You’ve heard of me.”
“Ah. Right, I’ve seen you on TV!”
“Of course you have.”
“A few years ago, I think. Didn’t you have a single out or something like that?”
“It was a tour, actually. A new digital album.” Adagio said.
“And what have you been up to since then?”
“...enjoying some time off.”
“Oh, that must be wonderful! I’m so busy with my daughter and trying new things with Quibble, I barely have any time to myself these days! And how are the other members of your group doing? Not just laying around, I hope?”
“Peachy.” Adagio smirked. “We’re all working on our own little projects while we prepare for a grand reunion.”
“Soooo….what brings you guys out here, today?” Ditzy said.
“My daughter is sprinting today, and I’m here to support her, even though I think it’s a bit of a waste of time.” Clear Sky said. 
“That her down there?” Buck said, pointing.
Down on the track, the sprinters were stretching and warming up as the announcer explained the dash and how it worked. Wind Sprint was facing away from the stands, while Scootaloo was facing her.
“That’s her.”
“I hear that my girl Scoots has been givin’ her pointers!”
“Wind Sprint has been spending time with one of your friends?” Clear Sky said, a touch of horror in her voice.	
"Well, sure. It only makes sense since Scoots is a killer sprinter. They’re about as thick as thieves.” Buck said. Adagio smiled as he poked the bear.
“Excuse me?”
“I mean, I’d guess they’re pretty close since they’re training buddies. You know what they say about people that exercise together!”
“Huh?”
“They want their relationship to work out!” Buck said, slapping his knee. Clear Sky grew furious in an instant, whereas Adagio barked out a single sharp laugh, then covered her mouth.
“Hah! Um…that was a cough. I’m going to need more water before long.” Adagio said, saving face.
“Oh, are they selling any nearby?” Clear Sky said.
“Yes, they’re being sold over on the quad, I’m assuming because of the heat.”
“Oh, good. I think I’ll get one for everyone!”
“Will you need a hand with that?” Buck offered, in Quibble’s direction.
“I was just about to ask! Ditzy, would you come with me and help me carry the bottles back?” Clear Sky said, standing.
“Huh? Uh, sure?” Ditzy said. Quibble shrunk in his seat.
“We’ll be back in just a moment~!” Clear Sky said, dragging Ditzy away.





Behind the locker rooms, a glyph on the brick wall lit up. The sounds of quiet whispers could be heard through it as a trio of people wearing dark cloaks stepped through.  Two of them moved with an unsteady, shaking gait, whereas another strolled with thoughtless ease.






“...a’ight Quibble, spill. What’s with the super model?”
“What? Is it really that surprising?”
“Yes!” Buck and Adagio said in unison.	
“What, do you think I just sit in a closet waiting for the next tabletop session when you’re not around?” Quibble said.
“To be honest, I don’t think about you much outside the table.” Adagio said.
“Well, while you guys were out making cheap urban fantasy videos for UTube, I was off getting a girlfriend.”
“Makin’ what, now?” Buck said.
“You think I don’t know what’s going on? You guys have been making viral content behind my back, so I went out and got a life!”
“Viral content? The fuck are you on about?”
“When you fought that cheap CG octopus? Or when Adagio fought that actress in the costume? With the anime sounds?” 
“Quibble, that wasn’t a film, that really happened. We literally fought a fucking shoggoth, and Adagio very actually bodied a supervillain.”
“I mean, I thought it was suspicious when Sunburst put the campaign on hold, but you could’ve let me in on it! Let me guess; you’re writing the scripts,” Quibble went on, heedlessly.
 	“What makes you say that?”
“Because they desperately need a proofreader. I mean, the dialogue alone; sheesh!”
Buck’s eyes glazed over. It would be so easy to throw his changeling stone necklace across the field and turn this man’s shoes pink.
“Did Sunburst not tell you nothin’ about what’s goin’ on?”
“He made it sound urgent, but he didn’t give details, no. When I saw that you were making low-grade superhero shorts, I realized it wasn’t really anything important.”
“Our lives were literally at stake. Magic bullshit has been happening to me like every week since me and Adagio first hooked up.”
“Buck, you sound crazy. Magic isn’t real.”
        Buck looked to Adagio for a moment and found no help. He put his hands together, as if in prayer.
“Quibble. You live in Canterlot. Magic is obviously real. You’ve seen the Rainbooms on the news before.”
“Oh, please. I also saw them in that crappy Daring Do reboot a few years ago! Now they know how to make a viral video! Who does their special effects? You should have hired them.”
Buck pinched the bridge of his nose. Adagio, on the other hand, seemed to be enjoying every second of this.
“...okay, fuck you very much Quibble. I’m havin’ a nice day, so do me a favor?”
“What?”
“Make like a fart and blow this shithole. I got enough problems as it is without you’re date judgin’ me while I cover for you lyin’ ass.”
“What?” 
“Golf? Fucking golf!?”
“I panicked!”
“Whatever, man.”
“And I can’t leave. We're here to watch her daughter run!”
“Relatable. Me and Ditzy are here for Scoots.”
“Since when are you dating Ditzy? Talk about a downgrade.”
“Thank you!” Adagio said.
“Oh, I can make this hell for you, Quibble. The kinda shit you pull at the table, I could tell Ms. ‘you got a reputation’ some serious dirt. Don’t fuckin’ test me, I’m in no mood.” Buck glowered.
“Now now, let’s not get nasty.” Adagio said. “He’s right though, Quibble. Pretending to be someone you’re not never holds up in the long run. Isn’t that right, Buck?” 
Buck refused to turn around and look at the face Adagio was putting on.
“We are not having this conversation right now,” Buck said.
“It was just a little word to the wise. Nothing more, nothing less.” Adagio said.
“...am I missing something here? What’s been happening since the last time we played?”
“Magic.”
“Yeah, pull the other one.”
“Just, if some shit goes down out here, you oughta take your lady and go.”
“What do you mean if some shit goes down?” Despite his skepticism, Quibble Pants was taken aback by Buck’s serious tone.
“Shut up a sec. They’re getting ready!”
All of the racers had taken their spots at the starting line. Buck waved, but Scootaloo’s attention was focused on Wind Sprint. She was saying something urgently, but Wind Sprint was obviously tuning her out..
“Oh no.” Adagio said.
“Oh no?” Buck said.
Adagio saw the purple-colored girl look out at the stands and rankle when she saw that Quibble was sitting there.
“I can only taste it faintly through all this emotional noise, but that one seems like she’s ready to burst.” Adagio pointed.
“That’s Wind Sprint!” Quibble said. “Clear Sky’s kid!”
“Oh, fuckin’ brilliant. If she’s got you for a stepdad, it’s no wonder she’s about to pop off.”
“What do you mean, pop off? What’s about to happen?”
Adagio’s phone buzzed. She checked her text, looked across the field, and saw Starlight dash in the direction of the quad.
“It looks like something is already happening. Buck?” Adagio said.
“Hold this.” Buck sighed and removed his necklace, tossing it to Quibble. With that out of the way, he held his arms out, and Adagio squeezed him tight.
“That should do, thank you.” Adagio said, and then she ran off with a smile on her face. Despite his frown, Adagio saw a single pink heart pop into existence next to Buck’s head.





Scootaloo was flanked on all sides by girls that were taller and younger than her. She had pushed herself as hard as she could, and had almost caught up to Dash’s time. That meant she was probably faster than everyone else here. All except for one.
“I’m sorry I lied to you, but it was for your own good! If you would just let me explain–” Scootaloo tried again.
The runners took her places, putting their hands on the ground, tensing up like a coiled spring.
“Shut up! What would you know about my own good? You don’t really care! No one does!” Wind Sprint spat. Can’t believe I trusted you….I looked up to you, you know? I thought out of everyone here, you’d understand, but it was a lie!”
“Look, I never meant to be a role model or anything, I was just trying to help you! I know things are weird for you, and you need someone to listen, but right now I just need you to relax and-”
The starting pistol fired.
Scootaloo was thrown backward by a burst of dust that covered the track in an instant. Coughing and rolling, she squinted through the disheveled runners and caught a glimpse of Wind Sprint dashing away toward campus.





Adagio caught up just as Starlight sat side-saddle astride a spear she had pulled from the concrete below her. She held on to the spear with one hand, while the other held up a sensing stone.
“What did you see?” Adagio said, trotting along in sneakers instead of high heels for once. 
“I sensed that creepy aura that Sunburst and I detected the other night...over there!” Starlight pointed, and Adagio caught a glimpse of the hem of a cloak turning a corner. Adagio reached into her purse and produced a water bottle. She was getting used to carrying them again.
“I guess that confirms that there are more than one! Are you going to give me a ride on your little stick again?” Adagio said.
Starlight turned the corner wordlessly. A pair of people in cloaks ran toward the little forested area beside the campus grounds, while another ran into a glowing portal on the back wall of the locker rooms. Starlight’s sensing stone lead straight to it.
“I’ll take the portal! Go after the other two!”
“Hold on, that may not be the best-”
“Just do it! There’s no time! I’ll find my way back!”
Starlight flew through the portal without another word, leaving Adagio to roll her eyes and run toward the trees. As soon as she was out of sight and sound of the athletic field, the cloaks came to a stop.
They were in a shaded clearing, surrounded by ash trees covered in fresh green leaves, and as Adagio slowed to a stroll, she noticed the two cloaks were quivering with barely contained violence.
“You may as well throw the disguises off. I can recognize your putrid  taste, and the plundered magic you’re using to cover it.“ Adagio tutted, brandishing a water bottle. 
The cloaks fell away, revealing a pair of humans who were normal looking, save for the blank look in their eyes and the fact that they were now naked.
“Really, now?” Adagio frowned.
The duo smiled, and their eyes flashed red before they were enveloped in a crackling green energy. 
They had shiny, greenish-black skin and curled horns protruding from their foreheads, tarnished insectile wings protruding from their backs, and odd, puckering holes in their limbs. The rest of their features were identical, looking like mass-produced ken dolls by their smoothness.
“You really are repulsive, no matter what world you inhabit. You have my pity.”
The twins tilted their heads, then cracked their necks in unison.
“No response? Ah, right. You’re just infants, aren’t you? That skinwalking trollop doesn’t even have the decency to teach her minions how to speak the local language. How craven can you get?” Adagio smirked.
The changelings’ eyes flashed red, and misting clouds of fury wafted from the corners as if their tears were so hot they were vaporizing. The clearing was filled with the unmistakable taste of Buck’s seething anger.
“Did I strike a nerve? I expect that you’ll try to capture me, now.” Adagio said, taking a sip of her water. 
The changelings charged, enveloped in a slimy green film of energy which splattered into the ground where Adagio had been standing.
“Careful now, you almost chipped one of my nails!” 
The changelings split up and dashed around Adagio like manic dragonflies before charging at her like blazing red fireballs. Adagio moved with measured steps but caught a strike to the shoulder.
“Hmph!”
Adagio’s eyes swiveled to and fro, trying to predict their erratic movements, but whenever she dodged one, the other came biting at her from another direction. As fangs tried to snap at her throats Adagio moved like a fencer, reaching for her water bottle as if it were a blade at her hip. The changelings paused, smelling her devious intent.
“You’re more expendable than a condom wrapper.” Adagio sighed.
One of the changelings balled its fists and hissed, barreling at Adagio at breakneck speed.
A tendril of water whipped up and snatched the changeling by the ankle, taking its momentum into a wide swing. It had barely enough time to howl with shock before it splattered against a nearby tree.
The other changeling rushed over to its fallen ally and began lapping at the mess like a starving dog, drinking in the leaking mana. Its wings turned a reddish color to match its eyes, and its stringy muscles ballooned in size.
“How expectedly repulsive. I'd better finish this quick.”
Adagio pulled out her phone and tapped out a brief and concise message, managing to send it just as the beast charged again with double the power and fury.





Sunburst sat on his couch, laying a blanket over Dinky Doo.
He had just closed a book, glancing expectantly at his phone, when Dinky spoke.
“Uncle Sunburst?” Dinky yawned.
“Dinky?”
“Why did Gandalf want Bilbo to come along on the adventure so bad? It sounds sorta like Bilbo really liked sitting around with his books and his cheese and his tea and stuff. Why would a strong unicorn like Gandalf want to bring a Bushwoolie along with all those diamond dogs?”
“Well, Dinky, Gandalf is a funny old stallion. He has a way of looking at things in a way that others don’t. You know what I think?”
“No!” Ditzy smiled.
“I think Gandalf saw something special in Bilbo. He knew that even the most unassuming of creatures can make a big difference when put in the right place at the right time.”
“Uncle Sunburst?”
“Dinky?”
“What does una-un…that word you said, mean?”
“Unassuming?  It means not pretentious or arrogant.”
“...”
“As in, something that doesn’t seem strong, or flashy, or practical! Something you wouldn’t think of as a big deal. Even something as small and meek as a Bushwoolie can change the whole world, as long as they do their best, and their friends believe in them.” Sunburst smiled.
“Uncle Sunburst?”
“Dinky?”
“Do you think…do you think people can do that too?”
“I believe that with all my heart, Dinky. Do you need anything before your nap? Juice? Water?”
“No, I think I’m-ZZZZzzzz…” Dinky drifted off on the spot.
Sunburst was just starting to wonder when he should broach the topic of narcolepsy with Ditzy Doo when his phone played a snippet of  “Primadonna Girl” by Marina and the Diamonds.
“Must be Adagio.” Sunburst said. His eyes narrowed as he looked over a text.
It said ‘WILD GOOSE CHASE’ in all caps, followed by several frowny faces and a devil horns emoji.





About halfway to the water stand, Clear Sky put a hand on Ditzy’s shoulder.
“Okay. What’s going on? Is he blackmailing you? How did he trick you into this!?” Clear Sky said, reaching out to Ditzy.
“What? Nothing, no! He’s not tricking me! Buck would never do that!”
“Oh please, Ditzy, I’m not blind. He’s obviously a brute. I’ve heard about him, and not just from the news! They say he never leaves a woman the same once he’s done with her!” Clear Sky said, visibly shaken. Ditzy paused with her mouth open and had to collect herself.
“I don’t…think that means what you think it means.”
“Is he a criminal? Is he holding you hostage?”
“He’s just a man! A good man! A really, really good man who’s really doing his best!”
“Honey, he’s a thug.”
“If you don’t stop insulting him, I’ll show you a thug!” Ditzy growled.
“When did you get so violent!?” Clear Sky gasped. “Is he part of a gang? Are you in it now? Are you his…’bottom bitch’?”
“Oh my god. I thought my life was crazy before, but now I know it is.”
“I’m trying to save you! If we get in my car now, I can get you to a shelter and we can get you help!”
“Clear Sky, I am not in any-a shelter? Why not just bring me to your house?”
“You want me to be seen with you? In that skirt? What would the neighbors think?”
“I’m not being kidnapped, Clear Sky. Me and Buck were having a nice time until you butted in. He’s the sweetest man I’ve ever met.”
“Are you sure? He looks a bit…scruffy. Like, is that stubble a statement, or what?”
“He…! He cleans up good! That’s not the point! He loves me! He says it every day, sometimes multiple times because he forgot he said it already!”
“So what? Anyone can say that they love you! Is he hitting you?”
“No, he would never! He’s always treated me gently! Sometimes a little too gently, but he’s doing his best!”
“Oh, so he’s not a jerk, he’s too nice. You know, in some ways, that can be worse.”
“Now you’re just nitpicking. What about your guy? Everything I’ve heard from Buck about Quibble is that he…quibbles.”
“Quibble is…he has a lot to prove, but he’s really a very sweet, special man.” Clear Sky said. The two of them slowly started walking again, carrying on their conversation as they paid for some water bottles. And besides, I like a project. I’m sure you can relate.”
“Buck is not “a project”! “
“Well, he looks like a work in progress, if you know what I mean. How did you manage to snag him from that Adagio woman? I could have sworn they were dating when I saw them on the news.”
“I didn’t snag him! Okay, maybe I snagged him a little, but that sounds bad! Things just sorta worked out this way, and we’re figuring things out as we go.” Ditzy said.
"So why is she hanging around, then?”
“It’s complicated.”
“It’s complicated, and you just left him alone over there?”
“You pulled me away!”
“I thought you were in danger!”
“Well, I’m not. So how about when we get back with the water, you can take Quibble and leave us alone.” Ditzy said.
“What? But you have to tell me how all this happened! I want to hear all the juicy details!”
“Why?”
“Because we’re friends, aren’t we!?”
“Uh…no? You just sort of invited yourself to the sewing circle. I barely even know you.”
“Oh, that’s close enough. Besides, I can help you deal with that Adagio.”
“What do you mean?”
“When girls like you say things are ‘complicated’ with their guy, they usually mean that some other girl is trying to take them.”
“That’s none of your business.”
“I’m just saying, if I were in your shoes, I’d put my foot down before he up and disappears on you.”
“I’m not worried about that.”
Ditzy and Clear Sky approached the bleachers. Where Adagio and Buck had been sitting was some empty space, with a contrite-looking Quibble sitting next to it.
“Where is he? Where did Buck go? Did Adagio drag him off somewhere!?” Ditzy said, grabbing Quibble by the collar. The water bottles fell around her feet. 
“Don’t get hysterical, now! I thought you weren’t worried?” Clear Sky said.
“He ran off after Scootaloo and Wind Sprint!”
“What? Wind Sprint ran away? To where?”
“I don’t know! I think they might be filming a video or something; there was a big cloud of dust and then they were gone! Oh, and Buck said to give you this and that he’s really sorry.” Quibble said, placing Buck’s changeling stone necklace in Ditzy’s hand.
“What do you mean they’re gone? Where’s my child, Quibble?” Clear Sky’s tone got sweeter, but her eyes betrayed a sudden fury. 
“Uh…” Quibble pointed to a small cloud of dust leading off the field and toward the campus proper.





Starlight emerged in a dark, dusty space. It smelled like slowly rotting plaster and looked like every crack house she’d seen in police procedural shows. Broken bottles and paper trash littered the floor, and the walls were riddled with holes. The cloaked figure stood in the middle of the room
“Well, lookie here. You actually took the bait.” Said a voice that had been gruffed by decades of cigarettes. The cloak was tossed off, revealing a man with dark brown skin and a white handlebar mustache. He was wearing a flannel shirt and jeans.
Starlight brandished the concrete spear. It took both of her hands to wield it. 
“We know what you’re after, and we’re not letting you get the sprinter girl or leech off the magic she makes.”
“We’re done with the runner. Only a matter of time before she pops.” The man said. He reached slowly behind his back, and instead of presenting a weapon, he produced an old fashioned stetson hat and placed it on his head.
“Not if we can help it!” Starlight said.
“That ain’t why I’m here today. My mission is you.”
“Where are we? Why are you here?”
“A little back’n forth? I can do that.” The man said, strolling deliberately around the perimeter. Starlight matched his every step, as if they were squaring off to cross blades. 
“This here is a little abandoned buildin'over in the slums. As for the why; our leader wants you. I didn’t much ask the reason, but apparently you’re important enough to catch.”
Something about the casual expression on the old man’s face unnerved Starlight. She stayed tense as he rolled his sleeves up.
“You're here to catch me? Well, I'm here to catch you. I’m not letting another one of you freaks get away.” Starlight growled.
“You see me runnin’?” The man pulled a cigar from his pocket. He struck a match in his stubble and took a long drag. “I’m gonna make this as simple as possible. I’m not one for the whole “devotion” part’a this here posse. I’m a simple man with a simple job. I'm here to see what you can do, and take you back to base. Whether or not you got much in the way o’ magic, you’re comin’ with me.”
“Not if I can help it!" Starlight rushed forward, bringing the spear forward in a vicious stab.
"Let's find out if you can." The man punched a hole in the wall, and the whole building creaked. There was a groaning crunch as the spear connected.
The man’s arms and shoulders were covered in a bark of dusty wood. Where the spear had struck, there was the barest hint of an indent. Starlight jumped back as the man swiped with his free hand and just kept coming, feeling the shock in her arms as she blocked his heavy blows with the spear.
The man bobbed and weaved like a boxer, jabbing and hooking without slowing down. Starlight kept the spear between them, taking care not to trip as she backpedaled. 
The portal flickered.
“I better make this quick!” Starlight feinted and then brought the concrete spear around in a bone-shattering swing. With a crash, the spear crumbled in two against the man's shoulder. 
The man’s smile gleamed through the dust, and suddenly Starlight was flung against the wall on the opposite side of the room. 
“He's tough…probably as tough as the last one. Don’t melee, keep him at range, stupid, wait for an opening…” Starlight groaned quietly, picking herself up from the pile of trash she’d been thrown into. Her hand went for her pocket.
“Come on, now! Where’s that fire I heard about? Didn’t you try an’ fight a dragon not too long ago?” The man approached slowly, his hand dragging through the wallpaper. Another creak came from the walls, and the wood on the man’s arms extended to cover his shoulders.
“I beat a dragon, just like I’m going to beat you!” Starlight barked, falling back and firing off a few arcane bolts. The man covered his face with his armored limbs, and in one fluid motion, Starlight drew a piece of quartz and fired a bolt.
It was a sound like a steak being seared. A hole was torn in the side of the man’s thigh, but he didn’t seem to notice. What Starlight noticed was that there was no blood.
“What are you doin’? It’s like you’re not even tryin’ to beat me!”
The man lunged with a haymaker, but Starlight rolled out of the way. A stud shattered in the wall behind her.
“He’s quick for a big guy. Stay low and out of reach.” Starlight mumbled. In times like this, she fell back on how Sunset Shimmer had taught her to fight. Keep moving, keep thinking. 
Starlight fired another volley of cyan bolts, tearing a hole in the man’s calf. He stumbled for just a moment, then his smile returned as his boot stomped clean through the floor.
Wood crept up the man’s legs, turning into a pair of splintered greaves. 
“Pokin’ holes in me ain’t gonna do much, girlie. I’m made of tougher stuff than that!” The man said, charging forward.
A bluff, Starlight thought as she dodged around another strike. He’s covering his limbs. Even if he can survive without them, he’s still protecting himself. There must be a limit to how much punishment he can take!
Starlight tried to block with the remainder of her spear, but the man kicked her bad leg and sent her stumbling. 
“Now, why’re you limpin’ like you got the gout? You get a charlie horse from all that runnin’ around?”
“Shut up!” Starlight screamed. A blast of cyan light sent the man hurtling through a wall. A piece of quartz disintegrated, spent. Starlight tried to check her emotions, but she felt a familiar old fury from being infantilized by this grizzled cowboy.
The man rose slowly to his feet in the adjacent room. The left side of his body was covered in carnage, chunks of flesh having been blasted away, but the building creaked and his butchered limbs were enfolded in more wooden armor.
“Well, well, you’ve got somethin’ behind all that talk after all. Tell me, how’re you doin’ all that with just some basic components?” The man said as he swiped at the dust that had been kicked up. 
His only answer was a thud as his arms were suddenly restrained to his sides. A sticky web of mana lashed around the man’s body, he fell to the ground.
“I’m the one asking the questions around here.” Starlight said. One of the heads on her velvet worm shriveled up as she swapped it for another piece of quartz. “And you’d better answer them if you don’t want me to break your bones!”
The man smiled and whistled. 
“Hey now, that was pretty crafty! You passed the first test, girl. I guess it’s time I got-”
*WHACK* 
Starlight smacked him across the face with the remainder of her rod of concrete, yet the man managed to keep his cigar clenched in his teeth.
“I guess it’s-”
*WHACK* 
“Spoilsport.” The man grumbled.  
The cigar suddenly erupted in a gout of flame, driving Starlight back. Fire licked up the threshold and walls as the man pulled himself to his feet. Starlight took a step back. 
The smile that greeted her came from the bowels of hell.
“Let’s see how you handle this, little missy.”






Scootaloo was trying not to think too hard about it. She had messed up, sure, but it wasn’t really her fault, was it? She was basically a trainee, and there was no way of knowing that Wind Sprint had been listening, and this was all just a misunderstanding! All she had to do was catch the girl and explain things, and everything would be okay!
Except she barely understood her new magic, she had no idea what to do about Wind Sprint’s magic, and come to think of it, she didn’t really know what she was doing.
What Scootaloo did know was how to run.
The sun beat down on Scootaloo’s pumping arms and legs, covering her in a sheen of sweat as she chased Wind Sprint across walkways, around corners, and up fire escapes until at last, Wind Sprint doubled over at the edge of the roof of the auditorium, doubled over from the exertion.
“Careful! If you stay bent like that after running so hard, you might throw up!”
“Stop acting like you care about me!” Wind Sprint turned and shouted, her hair waving in a sudden wind. “You never did! No one does!”
“That’s not true! I care about you, and so do my friends! We’re all worried about you, and we’re just trying to help!”
“What are you talking about? What friends!?”
“I’m not supposed to tell you this, but what this is, what’s happening to you is magic! I’ve been hanging out with you, because there’s wind magic that’s sorta, like, bubbling up from inside you! And if you keep being all angsty and stuff, uh…something bad will happen, I dunno!”
“So you admit it!”
“What?”
“Magic! Are you serious!? So this whole time, you let me think you were going to be my friend, because of magic!?”
“That’s not totally the-”
“LEAVE ME ALONE!” Wind Sprint shrieked, and Scootaloo’s world took a sudden trip. Scootaloo’s thoughts raced against the concrete rising to meet her.
She didn’t know any fancy incantations, and she hadn’t put down any spell circles. All she knew was what she had been told about casting. She tried to keep the equation in her mind.
First, she bounced upward on a burst of air. A bit of quartz crumbled in her hand, but it bought her enough time to act.
Her hand dipped into her pocket and came back with a bit of golden string. She saw Wind Sprint’s back racing across the rooftops ahead. Scootaloo tried to find the wind.
“Pleaseworkpleaseworkpleaseworkpleasework!” 
Instead of the crunch of bone on concrete, a warbling twang echoed through the air. Scootaloo was snatched along by a rope of purple light which had snared Wind Sprint by the waist, swinging like a monkey on a vine right past a row of classroom windows.
“Shit, shit shit shit! This is so not sneaky! Starlight’s gonna kill me!” Scootaloo whined as she shut her eyes against the countless camera flashes.
The sidewalk came up to meet Scootaloo as she was towed along at a ludicrous pace. The arcane lasso was wrapped around her wrist, and for a few seconds, did her best to scramble along the ground and dodge through the narrow spaces between campus buildings.
“Okayokayokay, think fast, think fast! She’s gotta get tired soon, right? She can’t just keep putting out magic, ‘cause humans don’t have a lot, so all I gotta do is keep up until she gets tired! I just have to save my energy! Right? Right! If I can just get a…aha!” Out on the quad, there was a kid walking along with a backpack and a cruiser skateboard. Scootaloo didn’t have any time to slow down; she just snatched the board out from under his arm.
“Hey, what the fuck!”
“I’msorryIpromiseI’llgiveitbaaaaack!”
Scootaloo threw the board under her feet, and suddenly she didn’t have to run anymore! That was one problem solved, but others came rushing at her, forcing Scootaloo to swerve and ollie and spin her way around them as Wind Sprint charged across the quad.
First came the sign outside of the lunchroom, which Scoots vaulted over with an airburst, then a streetlamp, then a fire escape, then a chimney cap threatening to trip her back down to ground level.
Scootaloo pulled on the rope, hauling herself gradually closer to Wind Sprint. She could see students and faculty whizzing by.
“Will you stop following me!?” Wind Sprint panted, leaping across a gap in the roofs. 
“I can’t! If I leave you alone, something really bad’s going to happen!” Another airburst, another piece of quartz used.
Scootaloo whipped around a corner, hitting grass and barely managing to stay on the board. Wind Sprint was at ground level, and despite the shortness of her breath, she show no signs of slowing down.
“What’re you talking about!?” Wind Sprint said, looking back. 
“Like running full speed into a light pole!” Scootaloo said, pointing forward. 
Wind Sprint just barely made a sharp turn around one of the towering light poles ringing the football field. Unfortunately, she didn’t move fast enough to avoid catching the lasso on the pole, and so she and Scootaloo snapped around and slammed into each other, collapsing to the ground in a heap.
“Oww…” Scootaloo opened her eyes to see a bewildered Wind Sprint, who was laying on top of her.
“Scoots! Scoots? Y’allright?” Buck said, running over to the two. His shirt was wet with sweat and he was breathing heavily.
“Whuuuuuh…Buck? When’d you get here?”
“I was…haah…holy shit…I was tryin’ to catch up and see if I could help, and y’all double-backed around, and uh…am I interruptin’ something?”
There was an awkward silence, but a blush formed on Wind Sprint’s face as she realized how close to Scootaloo she was.
“Uh..what? Why’re you looking at me like that? Were you thinking that-oooh!” Scootaloo said, connecting some dots in her brain. “Oh, look, you’re really cool and stuff, but I’m like six years older than you, and that would just be weird!.” Scootaloo blurted.
“LEAVE ME ALONE!”  Wind Sprint shouted, running off in another gust of air. Scootaloo looked at the arcane lasso around her wrist for a moment, watching it pick up tension. She quickly grabbed Buck by the arm.
“Plant your feet!” Scootaloo said. 
Buck gritted his teeth and barely budged an inch as the rope tightened, leaving Wind Sprint to run in place.
“Will you quit running? I’m just trying to talk to you!” Scootaloo shouted.
“I don’t wanna talk to you! I don’t wanna talk to anyone!”
“Scoots, it sounds like lassoing this girl is making things way worse.”
“But if we let her go, she’ll go turn into a an angry cyclone with horse ears, or whatever! Maybe you should talk to her, you’re good at this stuff!”
“Maybe if we get her to calm down! Isn’t her Mom around here?”
“Actually, that might be even more of a problem. And…ooh, speaking of…” Scoots said, wincing.
Ditzy had come around the corner, running in Buck’s direction with Clear Sky right behind her and Quibble taking up the rear. Ditzy’s expression was the wrath of god and a disappointed math teacher rolled into one. Clear Sky’s expression was much clearer than that.
“Wind Sprint! What in the world are you doing!?” Clear Sky shouted furiously as she approached from across the field. 
By now, the chaos on campus was starting to catch up, and people from around the school were wandering toward the scene. 
All of this served to intensify the blush on Wind Sprint’s face. She came to a dead halt as her greatest nightmare came to pass.
“Mom! What are you doing here!?”
“No, no, I’m asking the questions here! I came here to support you, and this is the thanks I get? You run off the track, you start roughhousing with a couple of dumb thugs-”
“Hey!” Scootaloo said, while Buck shrugged.
“And whats this I’m hearing about magic!? Is there anything else you’re hiding from me!? Is this all because I said that running wasn’t a great idea?”
“Mom, it’s not like that, things are just weird and complicated and I don’t want to-”
“Oh, it’s complicated? It’s complicated, so you have to make a scene here and embarrass us in front of this whole school, even though I came out to support you?”
“Now hold on a minute-” Ditzy tried.
“No! I didn’t even want you to be here today! Why don’t you take your boyfriend and go adopt a new kid so you can leave me alone!?” Wind Sprint said.
“Enough. I’m sick of the whining, I’m sick of you disrespecting me and Quibble, and I’m sick of all this dramatic nonsense! You are coming home with me, and we are going to have a serious talk about your future here.”
Silence descended with a silent crash, shattering Wind Sprint’s heart. Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes. The wind rose, blowing Ditzy’s skirt around.
“Oh great, now I’m the bad guy.” 
“You always do this! Ever since Dad died, you have done nothing but act like everything I do is a mistake waiting to happen, and you always have something to say about it! I’m sick of it! You don’t even care about what I want, you just want me to pretend like everything is fine, and we’re perfectly normal, but it’s not! We’re not!”
“That is enough out of you, young lady!”
“Stop treating me like a kid! I’M NINETEEN YEARS OLD! I GET TO CHOOSE WHAT I WANT, AND I WANT ALL OF YOU TO GO AWAY!” 
The lasso of force blew away like dust on the wind, and so did the earth beneath Wind Sprint’s feet. Buck heard the heart-chilling howl of a tempest.
He managed to drag Ditzy and Scoots to the ground just as a baseball bat flew through the air toward them, followed by a football helmet, then a tennis racket, and then an automatic pitching machine. 
The teenaged sprinter rose into the air, eyes filled with white light as a pair of glowing purple wings unfurled from her back.
Wind Sprint was awakening, and a storm was waking with her.





“Hey…Sunburst?”
“Buck? What’s going on over there? You sound shaken.”
“We’re…we're gonna need some damage control, man.”
“Okay, what kind?”
“Do you think your organization can fix tornado damage?”
“I’ll get right on that.”
“Thanks, babe.”
Buck shuddered and covered his ears. It was an all too familiar sound; a destructive wind howling a mournful song. It brought Buck back to a horrible time and place. Flooded streets. Floating bodies. Wind through telephone wires.
He shut his eyes and tried desperately to not freeze up, but then he felt a hand on his back.
"Buck? Buck, are you okay? What's wrong?"
It was Ditzy Doo, and despite the guilt he still carried, he was immensely relieved just to have her here. Buck turned and hugged Ditzy tight.
"Oh! Okay, okay…you're alright, Buck. It's alright."
Just ahead of them was bedlam. All around the athletic field, people were rushing to a safe distance where they could catch the action on their phones. Clear Sky was caught in pure astonishment, while Quibble had fainted outright. 
A twister had torn up the athletic field, whipping up a storm of whirling sports equipment.
Somewhere in the center of that mess was Wind Sprint, and on the edge of the field, Scootaloo gawped at the unfolding disaster.
“Uhhh…maybe we should call in Starlight? Where is she, anyway?”
“She and Adagio ran off. Probably some other shit’s goin’ down. I…I think you’re on your own on this one, Scoots.” Buck said, shivering.
“What!? But, but, she’s like a freaking tornado! What am I supposed to do!?” 
“You! Whatever you’ve done to my daughter, you are going to reverse it right now!” Clear Sky said. 
“She didn’t do anything, Clear Sky! Your daughter is freaking out because of you!” Ditzy spoke up.
“Yeah, Scoots is a good bean! She was just trying to help!” Buck said.
“You’re a girl?” Clear Sky squinted.
“Not important! Okay, okay, okay, what did Starlight teach me? Wind Sprint is a tornado, she’s a pegasus, so she’s Chaos/Ethereal. She’s not gonna run out of wind, but she’s deffo gonna run outta magic soon, 'cause Chaos/Ethereal spells don't last long. So someone needs to catch her, but how am I gonna get in there with all that junk flying around? Oh, I’ve already messed up so much!” Scootaloo paced back and forth.
“If I could make a suggestion, I think you’re entirely capable of tying this up, little birdie!”
Adagio emerged from the crowd of gawkers, carrying an armload of water bottles. She looked a bit rumpled, and her hair had lost its luster.
“Adagio! Where’d you get that water?” Scootaloo brightened.
“Someone just left them rolling around in the stands! What luck! With these, I can create a small ramp to get you up there, but the rest is up to you.”
“But what am I supposed to do when I get there!?”
“You’ll just have to play it by ear. I’m sure Buck can help you with that.” 
“What? Me?”
“Yes, you! First I’ll need some of your energy to get us started.” Adagio extended a hand to Buck, who looked bashfully at Ditzy Doo for a moment.
“What?” Ditzy blinked.
“So the thing about my magic is that I’ve got to-”
“There’s no time, just give it here!” Adagio grabbed Buck’s hand and her hair poofed outward, her skin glowing yellow for a moment.
Adagio hummed a brief tune, smirking at Ditzy, then the water bottles erupted in a stream that swiftly froze into a short, high ramp. Scootaloo dropped the skateboard at the start of the ramp, still looking unsure as it crackled underfoot.
“Uh, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’ve only got one piece of quartz left, and I don’t think that’s enough.”
“Components? Oh, please, we don’t need that peasant magic! We have Buck!”
“I don’t understand! What are you going to do, and why are you holding her hand!?” Ditzy said. Buck cringed and let go of Adagio. Adagio could taste the potent flame of his magic diminish in an instant.
“No, no you don’t! You need to turn around and give these two some privacy.” Adagio barked.
“What!?”
“You heard me! Buck has been practicing a technique, but it’s a bit intimate, and you are obviously holding him back!”
“What did you say!?” Ditzy said, growing furious. Adagio took a step toward her. Her tone became frigid.
“I said; you are holding him back. As usual.”
“Adagio, come on, let’s not-”
“We don’t have time for this! Shame is the enemy of genuine emotion, and you need genuine emotion for magic! You two stepford wives need to give these two some privacy, now!”
Clear Sky looked at Ditzy with utter confusion. Ditzy stared at Adagio, but her expression softened, just a bit.
“Now." Adagio hissed. In that instant, her eyes flashed red, her teeth sharpened and gills rose on her neck.
Clear Sky and Ditzy turned around immediately.
“Why are you blushing?” Clear Sky mumbled.
“Shut up!” Ditzy whispered.
“Alright, Buck! It’s time for your test! You obviously can’t give me mana transference, but I’m sure your feelings for little Scootaloo are much clearer!” Adagio said, with a pained smile.
“‘Dagio, I’m sorry I ran off on you, but I-”
“No! Not now. We can talk about it later, and oho, we will talk about it later, Buck, but right now, I need you to give this one what she needs.”
“What? Out here? In front of everyone!?” Scootaloo squeaked. 
“You know what to do, Buck.” Adagio sighed. “Earnest wish. Go on.”
Buck looked to Scootaloo, who by now had turned red. She couldn’t seem to meet his eyes, so he walked around behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders.
“Scoots, I’m not mad about what happened or what you said. You’re stressed out and things are weird right now, and you don’t gotta explain it to me. We’re cool.”
“Okay, that’s good, that’s great, but how’s that gonna stop me from screwing this whole thing up!?”
“You’re not gonna screw it up. You’re gonna get in there, you’re gonna save that girl, and you’re probably gonna do some sick flips.”
“Buck, I dunno…maybe I’m not cut out for this. I tried to talk to her, and it just made things worse! Maybe…maybe I’m not really a hero like Starlight or Sunset or Rainbow Dash! Maybe running is the only thing I’m good for…”
“Is that what you’re worried about? Not measuring up?”
“Well, yeah! Everybody’s got something! Starlight knows a million spells, Sunburst knows stuff in general, Adagio’s aquaman and you’re good at, like…uh…”
Across the field, the tornado was moving at a casual crawl. One of several storage sheds crumbled like a gingerbread house as it was sucked into the vortex.
“Fuck shit. You can say it.” Buck sighed.
“But you’ve got more magic than all of us combined! And what’ve I got? A little puff of air! Rainbow Dash can run faster than a race car, and all I can do is keep you cool on a hot day!” 
“Well, you’re not RD, so why bother comparin’ yourself to her?”
“You don’t get it, Buck, Rainbow Dash is…”
“No, I do get it! She was your idol. You wanted to be like her so bad, you went into sprinting just to try and catch up! I know what its like to wanna be like the Rainbooms, Scoots. They’re my friends, too. But you don’t gotta be like Rainbow Dash!”
“But Rainbow Dash would-”
“She’s not here right now! She’s fuckin’, I dunno, gettin’ put on a cereal box or an energy drink or something! You’re here now, and you’re the only one that’s got the moves to get up there and talk some sense into that girl!”
“But what if I mess it up?”
“You won’t.”
“You don’t know that!”
“Oh, yes I do.”
“How!?”
Adagio tried to hide her smile as she watched Buck work. This too was part of his charm, and she was keenly aware that he didn’t know it. A fine pink warmth enveloped his hands and spread through Scootaloo. Her posture straightened and her shoulders squared even as she protested Buck’s advice.
Adagio was so bemused by Buck's performance, she nearly forgot that she was cross with him.
“Because the Scoots I know doesn’t run away from crazy bullshit; she runs straight into it without a second thought. It’s the same Scoots that plays a batpony who always speaks her mind and never regrets the trouble she gets into. The same Scoots that never, not even once in her life has shied away from a new experience! She’s a baddass, knife throwin’ lady, and anybody that’s got a problem with that can kiss her cute lil’ ass!”
“You think my butt is cute!?”
“Not the point! Point is, you got this. I believe in you, and you’re pretty much the only person that girl’s gonna listen to.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“But what am I supposed to say!?”
“Oh, that’s the easy part.”
“It is?”
“Yeah. Just say what she needs to hear. Now get in there!” Buck slapped Scootaloo on the ass as if they were old workout buddies, and like a lightbulb switching on, the aura that had been gradually enveloping her ignited into a pink flame.
A sound like a cannon boomed across the athletic field, and Scootaloo catapulted off the ramp and into the air. 
“Okay, what the heck was that?” Ditzy said, running up to Buck and Adagio.
“That,” Adagio smiled. “Is Buck’s power. It’s why everything and everyone that uses magic wants a piece of him.”
The glowing human-sized bullet of blazing pink energy known as Scootaloo began to dip in the air, then another blast jumped it upwards, then another and another, bouncing it through the air until it disappeared into the twister.
“Is she going to be okay?” Ditzy asked.
“Oh, she’ll be fine! She might…crave his magic after this. It’s very euphoric to feel that amount of magic coursing through you, almost like a constant, gentle orgasm.” Adagio said. 
“Okay! Too much information! Now that this is dealt with, can we go home?” Ditzy said, turning to Buck.
“What? Don’t you wanna stick around and make sure Scoots makes it out alright?”
“I thought that was Starlight’s job?”
“Actually, that’s a good point.” Adagio produced her phone, poked it a bit, then groaned.
“What? What’s going on?”
“According to Sunburst, Starlight has failed to get in touch in the allotted time. That means she’s probably fighting for her life right now. Come along, Buck. We need to hurry.”
Adagio took Buck by the wrist and was surprised when he didn’t budge. She looked back and saw that Ditzy had his other hand.
“Buck, you don’t have to do this. Starlight is a professional; she can handle herself!”
“Oh, here we go again! Still determined to block him at every turn, I see?” Adagio said, rolling her eyes.
“You just want to get Buck into these situations so you’ll have an excuse to drink his magic, you old hag!” Ditzy said.
“Muffin!” Buck gawped.
“And you want to keep him wrapped around you like the security blanket you so desperately need, little girl.”
“‘Dagio, come on! You both need to back down.”
“That’s simply not an option, Buck. Your sweet little barbie doll can say whatever she wants about me, but I am a woman who keeps her promises. I said that I would cooperate today, and I will not allow this operation to fall apart just because little miss Ditzy Doo is afraid of your magic!”
“I am not afraid of his magic!” Ditzy blustered.
“Then you’re ashamed of it. Same difference. Or perhaps you're just ashamed of being with a man who ‘has a reputation.” Adagio said, sneering at Clear Sky. 
“Wh-I never said that-”
“Did you forget that I can taste your emotions? You’re being obscured by that disgusting trinket right now, but you started to stink of shame the second she arrived.” 
Ditzy looked to Buck, whose even expression had drooped into one of hollow disappointment.
“Buck, listen, it’s not like that! I was caught up in the moment, and-”
“And she admits it. Wonderful. Well, you two clearly have a lot to talk about, but you can’t do it right now. Lives are at stake.”
“Right.” Buck sighed. “Ditzy, I’m gonna come back, alright? Would you hold on to that necklace for me?”
“Okay, Buck…I love you.” Ditzy said.
“I love you too.”
Their kiss was brief, but genuine enough to bring a frown to Adagio’s smug face.





As soon as Adagio and Buck were out of earshot, Ditzy turned to Clear Sky, ready to scream in her face.
She saw instead that Clear Sky’s makeup was running. She stared fearfully up at the twister that was her daughter.
“What have I done?”
Ditzy gritted her teeth and closed a fist, and for a second she thought very hard about clocking Clear Sky right in the teeth. Instead, she took a breath.
“You drove your daughter to a tantrum that you can’t fix on your own. Luckily for you, there are people around that can get her down from there, but once she’s on the ground, you gotta apologize.”
“What?”
“That’s the first thing. You need to apologize to your daughter. And then the two of you have to talk about whatever it is that’s going on with her.” Ditzy said, touching Clear Sky’s shoulder.
“But, I’ve already make such of mess of this! I’m a failure of a mother!” Clear Sky sobbed into Ditzy’s chest. Ditzy’s mind worked overtime to try and find the right words.
“You’ve really, really gotta show her you care and that you’re sorry. Parenting is hard, and sometimes we make mistakes, but if we don’t fix, er…work through them, our kids will carry those mistakes forward.”
“Okay…who told you that? That’s very wise.”
“My Mom. Sheeee….made a lot of mistakes. but everyone once in a while, she had something to say.”
“Clearly.” Clear Sky sniffled. “I hope she didn’t dress you.”
“...You’re a bitch, Clear Sky.” Ditzy sighed, patting the woman’s back.





“I’m not saying you’re wrong.” Buck huffed as he and Adagio ran through the crowd back toward where Starlight had run off. 
“I’m never wrong!” Adagio smiled.
“You’re not wrong, you’re just bein’ a rude bitch.” Buck finished. Adagio scoffed.
“I’m being pragmatic! Perhaps I should educate you on the concept since you always have to do things the hard way!”
“Well, you hurt Ditzy’s feelings, and you hurt mine, too. I asked you not to stir up trouble, and you turn around and throw that in my face!”
“Wh-I, well, you…! It needed to be said! If you don’t mind being held by a leash, far be it from me to kinkshame, but I will not allow that woman to strangle you away from your potential!”
“Here we go, with the potential! Everybody’s got somethin’ to say about who I am or what I’m supposed to do!”
“Oh, I bet. You’ve gotten very popular lately, Buck. All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t let her hold you back!”
“I get it! I get it, alright!? Just next time, when I ask you to be cool, can you actually do it?”
“I didn’t mean to go back on my word! I’ll, I’ll make it up to you, Buck!” Adagio said, desperately.
"You can't say that you want me out of the action one moment, then change your mind the next!"
"If circumstances were different, I would let you lounge at home with your precious little housewife, but you and I both know that's not what you want! Why else would you come out here today?"
"Stop it! Just stop it! I want to trust you, but you can't keep jabbing at me like this!"
"You don't even trust yourself, Buck!" Adagio said as they came around to the back of the locker room. 
At the other end of the wall, there was a portal of shimmering grey smoke. It began to blink in and out of reality. “That’s it! Oh, but it’s closing! We need to hurry!”
Buck let go of Adagio’s hand and broke into a football sprint. His knees rose high and his arms pumped, and he felt a familiar burning sensation in his lungs. Adagio was running just at his side. Neck and neck, they raced for the portal as it got smaller and thinner with each passing moment.





Starlight had warned Scootaloo that too much magic could corrupt her. She didn’t feel evil or anything. She wasn’t laughing maniacally; she was smiling ear to ear. She felt like she was being carried on Buck's shoulders, like every laugh they had shared was bubbling in her stomach. She could feel what Buck felt as he hyped her up. He was telling the truth; he understood her, he accepted her, and he believed in her.
It was like the first time she cleared a jump on her old scooter times a thousand. When you got sick air like that, it felt like you could fly.
A baseball bat zipped by Scootaloo's head, followed by a couple of rocks. 
Scootaloo wasn’t flying, but she wasn’t falling either. She was crouched, holding on to the skateboard with one hand and touching her head with the other. She could feel a pair of ears up there and was struck by the bizarre knowledge that she had two sets, now.
Boy, was it loud in here.
She touched around her shoulders, and couldn’t feel any wings, but knew the unique sensation of something fluttering between her shoulder blades. Weird.
The sun was beaming down through the open top of the whirlwind. It was clear and beautiful, not a single cloud in sight. 
Everywhere Scoots looked, she saw objects that really shouldn’t be flying. There were backpacks and football armor and a bunch of old desks and chunks of wood, roofing, and foundation, all suspended in the air. Scootaloo looked up and saw a purple dot that must have been Wind Sprint. If she fell from that height…
But no, there was no time to think. It was time to be awesome.
Scootaloo’s hands pointed behind her, and a pink gale pushed her forward, just under a flying exercise bike.
Scootaloo whooped with joy, boosting through the air with another powerful burst, each blast of magic like the beating of a falcon’s wings. There was no gravity here. She was unlimited. Free!
It was like a dream; everything seemed to be slowing down, but in the back of Scootaloo’s mind, she knew that if even a single thing in this wind tunnel hit her, it would be lights out.
She slid along a pole vault, then spun like a fighter jet through a flying flock of sprinting hurdles. It was like something out of a dream.
Higher she thought. Higher! She could almost touch the sky!
Her heart sank as she saw it. The shadow in gym shorts, striding along a row of floating barbells like it was completely natural, rainbow hair fluttering in the breeze. Scootaloo chased it, higher and higher, around and around in this flying deathtrap, boosting through the air, pushing with everything she had. Her breath was getting shallow, and her lungs were burning as she bounced through the air, wavering like a leaf in an updraft. 
A flying desk clipped the board out from under her, and Scootaloo spun, but she wouldn’t fall. She couldn’t fall now; everyone was waiting for her. Wind Sprint needed her. Rainbow Dash was watching.
The solitary figure floated above a chunk of grassy field in the center of the storm. Scootaloo could see purple wings shining in the light.
Scootaloo’s pink, blazing aura was flickering. She didn’t have any time. She had to clutch this out right now, or they were both dead. She gave off another chain of violent airbursts, narrowly avoiding dodgeballs and mouth guards and training cones.
Closer, faster, higher and higher, Scootaloo pushed, eyes squinting, teeth gritted. She was almost there! 
Wind Sprint’s eyes were glowing white, but Scootaloo could see tears shimmering away from her face. Just a little closer, Scootaloo thought. Her arms extended. She screamed the girl’s name.
It was so loud and so bright, Scootaloo shut her eyes. For a moment, she dreamt. She remembered something important.





It was about a decade ago, and Scootaloo was on the verge of tears. She had bruises and cuts all over.
People were cheering, but not for her, because in the last round of the Canterlot High Junior Trick Off, she had managed to beef it on the last flip.
Her scooter was in two or three pieces, and her pride was shattered. The crowd picked the winner up while Scootaloo was pulled to her feet by a cyan hand.
“Let me tell you a secret. It’s not really about winning, Squirt.” Rainbow Dash said.
“What? Get out of here! You’re just saying that ‘cause you win all the time!” Scootaloo sniffed.
“Well…yeah, but you were great out there! So your first time in a pipe contest didn’t work out, so what?”
“So what!? So…so, my scooter’s busted and everybody saw me fall on my face!”
“Well sure, but that’s just it! If you weren’t out there killing it in the first place, you wouldn’t have fallen at all!”
“So you’re saying there’s no point in trying?”
“No! I’m saying, nobody in that crowd had the guts to try what you tried out there, so you should be proud! You don’t get to be awesome by standing on the sidelines, you get awesome by trying your best and being yourself! I might’ve fallen off my board like a zillion times before I could do half the stuff you were doing out there!”
“But you’re like…like, super-ultra-extreme-awesomazing at every sporty thing ever! There’s no way you fell!”
“No, I did. Twilight’s got video.”
“Really?”
“Yeah…how about this, I’ll get her to fix your ride, if you promise not to show anybody those videos. Deal?” Rainbow offered her hand.
“It’s a deal!” Scootaloo threw herself into the older girl’s arms and laughed as her hair was tousled.
“And hey, just remember that no matter how many times you fall, you’re always gonna be you. And the Squirt I know is awesome. Don’t ever forget that, ‘kay?”
“Okay!”





A light thud. 
Scootaloo opened her eyes to find that she had tackled Wind Sprint, but the young sprinter hadn’t fallen over. She was curled up in a floating ball, sobbing with her mouth closed, trying to shut out everything in the world.
“Wind Sprint! Wind Sprint, you’ve gotta listen to me! I know how you feel! You don’t have anything to prove!”
“You don’t understand! You’re awesome all the time! No one ever second-guesses you, or tries to push you away from what you wanna do! Every time I try anything, I’ve gotta prove myself to someone; my Mom, you, or the memory of my Dad! And I’m never, EVER GOOD ENOUGH!” Wind Sprint howled, and the wind howled with her.
“No, I do get it! You’re out here doing your best, and you feel like you have to be on this grind all the time, or you’re never gonna be anybody! I know that you look up to me, and those feelings can get all mushy and mixed up, and that’s okay, too! It’s okay to mess up, and it’s okay to give up and try something else when the thing you want to do doesn’t work out! You don’t have to be like your dad or your mom or anyone else! You just have to be the best you, each and every day, and things will turn out fine!”
Wind Sprint’s eyes blinked away the blinding glare, and Scootaloo saw the hurt welling up from inside them. The uncertainty and the fear. And the hope. They were the same eyes she looked at Rainbow Dash with.
“How can you know that!?”
The platform of dirt disintegrated. Scootaloo was dimly aware that the two of them were falling, hand in hand, and the ground was starting to get closer.
“Because even though I’ve only known you for a little while, I know how awesome you can be! You don’t need to hide in my shadow or anyone elses’!”
“But how am I supposed to know what to do if I don’t follow anybody!? How will I know where to go!?”
“You won’t! Sometimes you’ll mess up, or you’ll get lost, and that’s okay, too! You don’t have to follow me; we can go together!”
“Really?”
“Yeah! You don’t need a mentor; you need a friend!”
Even as the world was rising below them, even as all the debris and gear began to fall as the tornado died, and even facing certain death at terminal velocity, Wind Sprint, and Scootaloo hugged.
Then, Scootaloo opened her eyes and looked down.
“Although right now it would be really cool if you could use those wings to save us, because I don’t think mine are gonna cut it!”
“But, but, I don’t know how these things work!”
“Just try! What’ve you got to lose!?” 
It wasn’t like the buzzing behind Scootaloo’s back. Wind Sprint’s wings were long and slender like an albatross. They extended awkwardly, wiggling while Wind Sprint bit her lip.
The ground got closer.
Scootaloo could see Ditzy Doo and a pink lady watching with clear attention. Adagio and Buck were gone. That was good. She didn’t want them to see her turn into a stain. She remembered Adagio’s breath at her ear and Buck’s big, skillful hands and how it was so rough and fast but so tender and strange, and she really wasn’t sure how she felt about the whole thing, even now. She wondered what she would say to them.
“Thank you” seemed about right.
She hoped that Sweetie Belle and Applebloom were okay.
And then there was a great beat of Wind Sprint’s wings, but it seemed like it was a bit too late. The rush of air in Scootaloo’s hair reversed and her head rolled with whiplash, and then everything was silent.





Wind Sprint awoke with a start. The ringing in her ears was louder than anything she had ever heard. She was being shaken gently. She saw her mother’s hair glowing like a halo. 
She blinked.
Her mother was holding her, and as the static cleared from her throbbing head, she heard something she never thought possible.
An apology.
“I never meant to discourage you, and I’m sorry that I’ve alienated you, and I’m sorry that I moved on so fast! I didn’t want to see you go down the same route as your father and I wanted to find a normal life again, but I moved too fast and I must have neglected you, honey, and I’m so sorry! I love you, sweetheart, and I promise that it’s going to be okay!”
She could feel tears on her cheek. Wind Sprint looked up and saw her mother’s terror melt into a smile of pure relief.
“Mom…I don’t…I think I need to go lay down.”
“That’s fine, sweetheart. As long as you’re okay, it’s fine.”
“Yeah, I’m not fine. Can you get offa me, please?” Scootaloo groaned.
“Sorry! Sorry!” Wind Sprint said, shuffling off, trying to wiggle out of her mom’s death grip.
“Scootaloo! Are you okay?” Ditzy Doo said. Scootaloo winced as Ditzy supported her back, sitting up. She shut her eyes against a stabbing pain.
“That depends. Does my ankle look as yikes as it feels?”
“Oh…oh no, it’s twisted and red. I don’t know…I, uh, maybe I should call an ambulance, huh?”
“No no no, Aunt Ruthie would kill me if she had to pay for another ambulance ride so soon! Get me to Starlight! She might have some healing crystals, or something!"
"Uh, Starlight is kind of busy, somewhere."
"Oh, uh, well, can you help me find somewhere I can put my leg up?"
"Sure. Gimmie your arm. You can sit in my back seat, 'kay?"
"Okay..."
As Ditzy helped Scootaloo hobble in the direction of the parking lot, she couldn't help but notice she was being stared at.
"What?"
"Nothing, I just...You're really calm right now."
"I've been here before, that's all." Ditzy sighed.





The wooden armor on the man’s limbs crackled like logs in the fireplace, the bark prickling like a hedgehog’s spines; with a spark, they became wreathed in flames. A pair of equine ears sprouted on the man’s head, protruding through his stetson hat.
When are you going to learn, Starlight thought. When are you going to learn to stop running off on your own? How many times can you make this mistake before it kills you? The thought of Adagio in the rainy alleyway haunted Starlight. How could someone lying face down look so smug and superior?
The webs that Starlight had cast burned away. And with a grunt, the man came charging forward, swinging his blazing arms. It was all Starlight could do to turn his blows away with the piece of concrete, hopping away as the man swept at her leg. Every movement the man made scattered smoke and embers, lighting up the dilapidated apartment with quickly spreading flames. 
Starlight’s eyes watered in the spreading haze, her sight obscured.
Suddenly, a blazing fist came swinging out of the smoke in an uppercut and snatched the piece of concrete, trying to wrench it out of Starlight’s hand.
“Let go!” Starlight shouted, holding on with all her strength.
“I was just about to say the same thing!” The man laughed. The concrete smoldered red before detonating like a firecracker.
“Gah!” Starlight pulled away, escaping the burst of shrapnel., but not the burning armored boot that slammed into her stomach.
Starlight clutched at her guts. At this rate, there was no way she’d be able to capture this guy. All she had left was her shield spell and some bits of quartz. At best, she could try to tire him out, and at worst, she might have to run away and get her enemy’s help.
“What’s wrong, girly? Can’t stand the heat?” 
Starlight turned and saw the portal wavering. She had seconds to make a choice. Her feet suddenly felt heavy, weighed down by decision.
She screamed in her head to move in any direction, just move, when she heard the portal open behind her.
The man stood still, surrounded by a cloud of black smoke, looking past Starlight, arms up in anticipation.
"Whatever water powers you're bringing to the table, now's a good time to use them. It's only a matter of time before this fire spreads and we get smoked out." Starlight said, through gritted teeth.
"Uhh…yeah, about that?” Said a familiar voice. “I’ve got some bad news."
Starlight looked back and saw the portal close behind Buck. He was not wearing his changeling stone necklace, and he looked as he did at the aquarium several weeks ago, terrified and determined.
Adagio was nowhere to be seen.
> ((Explicit)) Chapter 29 - The Great Pretender (Freddie Mercury)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Starlight could not believe she was here again. Caught in the tiny space between fight and flight. 
Smoke was in her throat, and a ragged piece of concrete trembled in her hand. 
Her opponent was covered in knotted muscles, and a layer of splintered wooden armor on his limbs. He wore a flannel shirt and a stetson hat, and despite the holes that Starlight had punched in his body, he seemed nowhere close to going down. 
She was facing down against another powerful foe, but she was well and truly alone this time. If she couldn’t turn the tables, she would be knocked out and dragged away to who knows where for who knows what purpose.
Nothing about her role had ever been easy, the last few months had been nothing but setback after setback, muddled plans, rising threats, and it all started because a man with a strange amount of magical power couldn’t stop himself from sticking his dick in an invader from another world.
Sometimes she returned to that first night when Buck and Adagio stood outside Sunburst’s door, dripping wet and trying to act nonchalant. She understood immediately what was going on, but she had no power to change it. She could have tried to capture Adagio, but chasing that witch without proper preparation was suicidal. She could have appealed to Buck and told him all the reasons why he should stay away.
If she had her hands on a piece of quartz in that instant, she could have bubbled Adagio in a forcefield.
But to what end? She was brimming with power, then. Power she had to have taken from Buck. Adagio could have boiled the blood in Starlight’s veins with a snap of her finger.
Even if Starlight could survive a real fight with Adagio, what would she do if she captured her? What if her sisters came looking? What plan could possibly justify the risk?
Adagio had everyone fooled, save for Starlight and Sunburst. The social monster had snaked her way back into the group’s good graces, but Starlight knew that she was up to something.
She was always up to something. Right?
Everything Adagio had done so far, it all had to boil down to her ambition. Buck had a target on his back, and Adagio was protecting her interest. She could not be trusted under any circumstances.
So why was it that Starlight breathed a sigh of relief as she heard a pair of feet touch down on the creaking floorboards behind her? 
Finally, someone of a respectable competency to fight beside. That was the thought.
Sunburst was wonderful and he did his best, but he was too timid and too inept at complex magic. Scootaloo was fresh and very keen on stabbing things, but she was preoccupied. Adagio could finish this fight instantly.
And so, even as Starlight heard the portal fizzle out, she was filled with hope. With Adagio here, the fight was over. And that feeling of relief made Starlight’s skin crawl. 
And then Buck spoke, and fresh anxiety blasted through Starlight’s brain. In her heart of hearts, Starlight had hoped for the witch. 
“Are you fightin’ a demon cowboy in here?” Buck said.
She had gotten the jester.
Buck squinted through the burning apartment, waving at the smoke in front of his face. 
The man in the stetson hat smiled, and his arms ignited like logs in the fireplace.
“Well, lookie here. It's a package deal!" The man laughed and charged forward, scattering Starlight and Buck in different directions.
"Yow! This guy's all lit up! What the hell is going on in here?"
"What are you doing here!?"
"Whaddya mean what am I doin’? Me and Adagio were comin’ in to help you!" Buck shouted as he ran from a flaming fist.
A bolt of mana slapped into the man's shoulder, but it barely made him stumble as he turned his attention back to Starlight.
“Well, where is she!?” A window shattered as Starlight barely dodged a blow.
“I dunno! I guess she didn’t make it through!”
"Fine, fine, I won't complain!" Starlight said.
“Okay, okay, okay! Whaddya need?” Buck said.
“Mana transference! You’ve been practicing, right? Give me a top off before he gets back up!”
"Okay, uh, I wish you'd get some power, I wish you'd get some power…HAH!"  Buck said, before slapping Starlight on the back.
Nothing happened.
"Okay, I'm complaining. What the hell was that!?" Starlight said.
"RAAH!" The burning man came at them again, and Buck only escaped a caved-in head because Starlight pushed him aside.
"Well, shit. I guess 'dagio was right!" Buck said, squinting at the man. "Hey, don't I know you from somewhere?"
"What are you talking about!? Do something! Use your crazy pink mana to burn him up!"
“I’d like to see that!” The man said.
Starlight fired off another volley of arcane bolts, and the man covered his face, chunks of wood falling from his arms as the shots landed. Another quartz crystal disintegrated.
"I think he's plenty burnt already, Glimglam! I don't think my magic works unless 'dagio's around!"
Buck extended a hand nervously. He tried to get something going, but nothing came out.
"Fine, if you can’t do magic, can you at least help me fight him?" Starlight shouted.
The man slowly stepped forward through the barrage of projectiles. The floor creaked and cracked beneath each smoldering step, sending chunks of wood up his legs and back to layer over his arms. 
“I, uh, what’re we dealing with?”
“Earth pony! He’s very strong and he’s shrugging off hits just like the last cloak we fought!”
Buck and Starlight separated once again as a blazing roundhouse kick swung at Buck’s ankles.
“And the quadrant!?
“Order/Telluric! He’s using the wood in this building to armor up, and a fire he lit to make things worse!”
“Wait, if he’s using the house as a weapon, doesn’t that mean there’s less-OH SHIT!”
Buck shrieked away just as a burning wooden gauntlet roared past his head like a rogue cannon ball. It crashed through a window and was not seen again.
“I get the feelin’ you kids ain’t takin’ this test all that serious-like. Maybe I oughta turn up the heat.” The man scowled.
Suddenly, the sounds of screams came from somewhere else in the building.
"I thought this building was supposed to be abandoned!" Starlight shouted. The man stopped, suddenly looking bewildered.
"It is!"
"Did you dumb motherfuckers light a building on fire without checking for squatters!?" Buck coughed.
"I'm going to go save those people! Hold him off until I get back!" Starlight said.
"Wait, what!?"
"Sunburst told me you got into street fights back in college! You'll be fine!" Starlight said, running down the hall.
Buck moved to block the door that Starlight had run through, but the man didn't move to chase her.
"Aren't you gonna try and get through me?" Buck said with a grimace. He started to move carefully, but the man stood still as a statue.
"Nah. It's better I let her get those folks clear.”
"Wait, you care about that?"
“This here fight’s between us; ain’t nobody needs to get kilt for no reason.”
“That’s…that’s pretty reasonable actually.”
“Besides, I can catch that Starlight no problem once I’ve got you.”
“You know our names? Wait, shit, no, I’m not about to let you catch me!”
"I weren't askin' permission; Purple Prose." The man charged with a wild swing. Buck took it straight on the chin and stumbled to the floor.
“Fuck! Ow!” Buck said, rolling away, clutching his face. 
“Gonna have to knock you out if you don’t stop movin’!” The man shouted with a floorboard-crunching stomp.
"Okay, cool, okay, cool, okay what’re we doin’?!" Buck mumbled, scrambling through the trash. He turned and tried to make something come out of his hand and took a shot to the gut, then the face for his trouble.
“Fuck! Hold up, hold up, can we talk about this!?” Buck scrambled, trying to dip and dodge around the burning blows. His hand sparked with light for just a moment, but nothing came out.
“What was all that about street fightin’? Didn’t yer daddy ever teach you to throw a punch?"
“I never said I won those fights!” Buck shouted, throwing a glass bottle as he ran for the door.
He was yanked backward by the back of his tank top and thrown to the floor.
“Is this really the kid that everyone’s all worked up about?” The man growled, smashing his fist into the wood as Buck rolled away. “All that magic, all that potential, and all you can do is run?”
“Seems to be workin’ so far!” Buck said, tossing a handful of cigarette butts and paper trash, which quickly burned to cinders as the man slapped them away.
“Come on, son! Where’s your conviction? You know what? Maybe I will go downstairs and get that girl, instead.”
“What!?”
“Maybe I’m gonna go and kill whoever’s been livin’ in this dump while I’m at it.” The man said, his eyes suddenly glowing like pale orange embers.
“Oh, fuck off!” Buck said, but the man pivoted suddenly and smacked him to the floor with a backhand. Buck rolled and patted at the flames which bloomed on his shirt while the man turned to leave.
“You ain't worth my time.”
“Shazam!” Buck shouted, and a bright spark lit the room. The face of Buck’s blazing assailant was surrounded by odd, buzzing phantasms. Some of them seemed to be gibbering faces, some of them were ghosts, or shaking asses or frolicking animals, but all of them were cartoonish and glowing a crimson red.
“What the hell is this?” The man said, swatting at the fancies floating around his head.
“I did it. I did it! Wait, it’s red. Why is it red?” Buck said.
“You call this an attack!?”
"Shit, I dunno, is it working?” Buck said, legging it for the hallway.
The man crashed through a wall, chasing Buck even as the little illusions turned into flying middle fingers, then stars.





Adagio strolled briskly across the CCU parking lot. For some reason beyond her comprehension, a trio of rats skittered near her feet, stared up at her, then disappeared under a nearby car.
Adagio was disheveled and thoroughly nettled, but she slid back into her calculating countenance once she spied Ditzy Doo stomping toward her, teeth gritted.
“What did you do with Buck? Where is he!?” Ditzy demanded.
“I have to assume he’s involved with that.” Adagio pointed. An ugly black smokestack rose over the skyline from the eastern direction of the slums.
“What do you mean he’s involved!?”
“Not to worry. I’m going to go get him. You can sit here and look pretty until I bring him back. That was your plan for the day, right?”
“What!?” Ditzy looked to the plume of smoke, then to Adagio who shut the door of her sports car.
“No need to thank me,” Adagio said, before zooming off with a squeal of tires.
“HeyAdagiowaitIwannagetshotgunaaaAAAAWWW MAN!” Scootaloo whined, hopping forward on one leg.
Ditzy looked grimly at the smoke rising in the distance. Without a word or even a look at Scootaloo, she got into her own beaten-up sedan and turned over the engine.
“Ditzy? You okay?” Scoots said.
“I’m going after him!”
“What?”
“You want to be there too, right? Just in case you can help?”
“Well, yeah, even if it’s just to blow some air around, I might come in handy!”
“Then let’s go.”
“Are you sure about this?”
“He shouldn’t even…we shouldn’t have come out today. He said there might be trouble but we came out anyway, but now…now I just want to get Buck and bring him home. This isn’t for him. He’s not…this kind of thing just isn’t for him. He’s sensitive. You know?”
“Uh…sure! Let’s get going!”
“Right.”





Buck could feel the flames following as he dashed down the hallway. Another wall crashed open, and the mocking gruff of the burning man called through it. Despite the imminent peril, Buck’s brain was working methodically. Calmly.
He just had to keep living and breathing, and he'd eventually get to go home with Ditzy and laugh this whole thing off.
“Where’re ya goin’ boy!? Didn’t you wanna talk!?” The man shouted.
“Nope nope nope!” Buck said.
Buck’s chest was burning, but his legs were strong. As long as he kept breathing, he wouldn’t die, but how long could he keep scrambling around before this whole place fell down?
It didn’t matter. He didn’t matter, really. There were people in here, and as long as he kept buying time, Starlight could use that time to save them. The walls were thin enough that Buck could hear Starlight shouting somewhere in the blaze. 
Buck pulled his phone, dialing on the run. Maybe he could call Sunburst! Sunburst would know what to do!
Buck turned a corner and saw the hazy outline of a staircase just up ahead. If he got low, he’d have a better chance of surviving the fire. That was a thing, right? Rising heat, rising smoke?
Buck heard crashing behind him.
"Come on, Sunburst, come on, pick up!"
"Buck? Is that you? What's going on!?"
"Holy shit, Sunburst, okay, okay, I'm gettin' chased by a dude that's literally on fire, tryin' not to get cooked! How do you deal with someone in the Order/Telluric quadrant!?"
"Uh, usually that quadrant uses very little mana, but they depend on materials in their environment! So, if you want to beat them, you have to remove them from that element!"
"But the whole-ass building is on fire!"
"You have to get out of there!"
Before he could jump the banister, it crumbled under another propelled wooden fist, leaving Buck to skid to a stop or else risk getting impaled on the jagged wood that had been an escape. 
“Did you have any kinda plan besides runnin’ like a girl?” The burning cowboy growled, taking a menacing step forward. He was tensed, a bit crouched, ready to pounce.
“Uh, well, uh, lemme think about it, oh, here’s a fun one! Do you know what barf tastes like?”
“What?”
“I do!” Buck laughed, wiggling his fingers.
The man suddenly bent over, retching as his mouth sparked pink. The fancies that were annoying him evaporated. The man clapped his hands over his mouth, trying to hold back the surge of sheer acidic disgust coming up his throat.
There was a sharp crack as a chunk of former banister came down on the man’s head, dropping him to the floor.
“Hah! Gotcha!” Buck said, dropping the plank of wood. He turned to run, but an armored fist clutched his ankle.
“Ah shit, he’s got me.”
The breath burst out of Buck’s mouth as a nearby threshold became acquainted with his lower spine. He kicked his legs, trying to wriggle away even as he groaned and grabbed at his back. He saw his phone clatter from his pocket and onto the floor.
“Kid, just give it up. I’d prefer it if I could getchu outta here without breakin’ yer back.” The man spat. His smile had turned to a grimace. 
“Fucking hell, what’re you made of that you can just no-sell gettin’ beaned in the head?”
“How ‘bout I tell you if you agree to come quietly?”
Buck tried to snatch his phone up, but the man stomped it into smithereens.
"Godamnit, how many phones am I gonna go through messing with you dickheads!?"
"Aww...what a shame, what a shame!"
Buck snapped his fingers.
The stetson turned pink.
“You’ve done it now, boy.”
Buck barely managed to roll away as the man’s heel came for his head. 
“Whassa matter Pops, can’t take a joke!?” Buck was on his feet, huffing for breath, smiling despite his bloody nose.
“I’m disappointed.”
“‘Scuse me?”
“Are these cheap parlor tricks all you can do? That mess at the fair must’a been a fluke. You ain’t much of a wild card at all. You ain’t much’a nuthin’.”
“Uh…does that mean you’re gonna let me go?”
“Naw, son. It just means I won’t waste my time. You might be more useful to us dead than alive.”
“What?”
“I still gotta get that there Starlight girl, so I’ll make this quick.”
“What!?”
The man’s armored limbs bristled with splinters as layers of wood crawled up from the floor, which was looking older and more weathered with each passing second. The flames grew brighter and hotter, stinging Buck’s eyes, and before he could say anything, The man rocketed across the room, wreathed in fire.





A sleek purple sports car parked very illegally in the fire lane. She took care not to park beneath the line of spectating pigeons that were perched on the telephone wires just adjacent to the street corner.
First Adagio smelled the smoke, then she saw the flames coming out of two ratty apartment buildings, and she tasted Buck's bewildered desperation. No time for subtlety.
“Buuuck! Are you up there?” Adagio called.
There was a loud crash. About half of Buck's barrel-shaped torso poked out of a very destroyed window, caught in a large, wooden gauntlet. He had a dazed look on his face.
“Ughh...Will you chill the fuck out!?” Buck shouted. There was a loud thump as Buck was dragged back into the smoke.
“Buck!?”
Adagio saw a flash of reddish light and suddenly Buck was at the window again, coughing.
“Adagio!? Issat you down there!?”
“I’m here, Buck! Let me help you!”
“Yeah, sure, sure, uh, look, this guy is really-GAHH!” A wooden fist smashed through the wall near Buck, who screamed girlishly before appearing at another window. “-this guy’s kinda on my bumper! Can you do somethin’ about the fire?” Buck said, before getting pulled back in. 
Adagio noticed that his words were punctuated by a glowing red exclamation point floating near his head.
“Are you sure? I could just come up there!” Adagio called.
“I got this!” Buck shouted from the smoke. There was a crash.
“I can taste when you’re lying, Buck!”
“Don’t worry about me! There’s people trapped in the building next door! Just put out the damn fire!” Buck passed by the window repeatedly, running from a man with flaming wooden arms.
“I’m going to need a bit of mana! Can you reach out the window, please?” Adagio called.
“Okay, random bullshit go!” Buck turned sharply and a stream of animated doodles erupted from his hands. The burning man reacted as if he’d been hit by a burst of confetti, trying to wave the irritating illusions away.
Buck dove for the window, stretching out as far as he could.
“Here!” Buck shouted Adagio held out her arms as if to embrace Buck, and a thin stream of pink flame passed between them.
Adagio suppressed the urge to moan as she drank in Buck’s affection. It was like rich hot chocolate, even in this frantic circumstance. 
“Make it rain, babe!”
“Gladly.” Adagio hummed a quick staccato tune, twirling a finger. The hydrant shook for a moment, then the cap blasted off in front of a violent torrent, which lashed upward like a serpent to spray the burning buildings with a long hiss.
“Come here! Come here! Why don’t you just stand still!? You gotta be the most annoyin’ candidate I’ve ever had to rustle up!” The man said.
“Ah well, I’m sure you can tell me all about it once we cool you off!” Buck’s laughter was cut off by a vice-like grip around his neck. His feet left the ground as he patted frantically at the smoldering gauntlet.
“Yeah? And how’re you gonna do that?” The man growled, raising a fist that Buck was sure would knock him out.
“Like this.” Buck gasped in a breath. The two were blasted off their feet by a powerful jet of water. The room flooded quickly, and while Buck splashed and rolled, he heard a creaking sound that was quickly growing familiar.
Buck sat up, coughing. 
The floor creaked louder. 
He put his hands out, trying not to shift his weight. He looked around and saw that the floor was pockmarked with holes and gashes from all the wood that had come up.
"Okay...step light...let's just take our time," Buck muttered.
The gruff man spluttered out a mouthful of water. He looked over and glared at Buck.
"Hey man, I know what you're thinkin', but be cool!"
The man sneered and rolled over, but before he could charge again, the floor groaned in agony, buckled inward, then finally collapsed in a cacophonous crash.





Back at ground level, Adagio dragged the torrent across every bloom of flame she could see. 
Despite the earthshaking racket that came from the building next door, Adagio tried to keep her focus on the remaining blaze. 
He wouldn’t die in there. She had already saved him. He’d be fine as long as he didn’t get captured, and even if he did, she would simply take him back. He was fine. It was fine. Adagio had everything under control. Buck was right. The fire had to be dealt with first. Soon she would deal with this mild annoyance and go to his side, and he would finally understand that he needed her. 
He just had to take a little beating first.

A door slammed open, and Starlight Glimmer stepped out onto the sidewalk, surrounded by a shimmering shield of cyan force. Her clothes were slightly singed, and she was being followed closely by a small group of people in dirty, tattered clothes.
“Finished holding hands with the rabble?” Adagio said.
“Shouldn’t you be up there protecting your interest?” Starlight said, rolling her eyes.
“My “interest” asked me very nicely to spray this building to prevent anything or anyone else from catching flame. A fire that I have to assume you started?”
“You wish.” Starlight said. The shield of force surrounding her shimmered, then blinked out of existence. “Oh brilliant.” Starlight groaned.
Screams could be heard coming from the building she had just exited. Screams for help.
“Adagio?”
“Yeeees~?”
“I’m out of components for this situation. Could you….”
“Go ooooon~”
“Could you please use your water powers to help me get in there and save lives!? There’s no time to argue!”
“Well, since you asked so nicely.”
Adagio hummed a gentle tune, and the roaring water wrapped around her and Starlight, forming a protective bubble. 	The flames hissed as the pair stepped into the threshold, but Adagio lingered for just a moment.
A screech of tires signaled the approach of her rival, who looked about frantically as she pulled up in her ratty old car. 	Ditzy Doo caught Adagio with an off-center glare.
“Better hurry,” Adagio smirked and nodded toward the adjacent building.





“Okay…ribs? Ribs’re good…legs? Not broken, cool, cool…arms? Shoulder? Good…not busted, just bruised…” Buck mumbled, trembling as he rose from the pile of flinders that used to be a floor.
“Hurts like fuck, but nothin’ itching…must’ve missed the insulation. Hey, Grizzly Adams, you alive in here!?”
Silence was the only answer.
“Shit. Shit, shit, shit, did we just kill a guy? Did I just kill a guy!?”
Buck nearly fell over as he walked to a nearby door. His leg was caught under the rubble.
“Okay, just need to get outta here, figure it out later. Don’t panic…don’t panic…” Buck mumbled frantically, pushing away the debris encasing his leg. He was stuck on something splintered, so he grabbed a loose pipe and tried to pry it free.
Suddenly, the rubble shifted.
Buck tried to run, but his leg was held fast in a wooden gauntlet. Emerging from the dusty pile was the man he’d been fighting, but he was missing his hat, and about half his face, revealing a bloody skeleton’s grin.
“You didn’t think I’d just let you go, didja!?” 
“AAAAAGGHHH!” Buck screamed, whacking the man over and over again with the pipe until he finally scrambled free.
“Well hey now, why’re you so scared all of a sudden? Didn’t ya wanna talk it out a minute ago?” The man said, his back snap-cracking loudly as he sluggishly stood upright. In the place of one of his arms hung ragged ribbons of flesh. He was pierced all over by chunks of wood and rebar.
“You’ve got a fucking arm off!” Buck shouted.
“Ah, well, that ain’t no worry. Let me just…” The man groaned and the pieces of wood perforating him swam along his form, replacing his arm with a bulky, jagged one. Steam rose off his form, but it seemed ignition was out of his reach.
“What the fuck are you?” Buck said. He extended a hand and tried to fire off another stream of nonsense, but all he got was sparks.
“I’m just an old-fashioned family man, doin’ what he’s gotta. And you? You’re just a boy that went and got in over his head. I’m gonna give you one more chance to give it up, or I’m gonna have to-”
Buck had already started running.
“...do this the hard way.” 
The man charged.





"A long tunnel of churning water snaked through the burning building. Starlight kicked doors and ordered people out while Adagio made sure that the flames couldn't reach them.
"Does all of this seem a bit too coordinated to you?" Starlight said.
"Yes. They triggered an awakening, then tried to divide the heaviest hitters in the ensuing chaos. Two rage-bolstered changelings for me, and a single assailant for you. It seems we've effectively nettled our mutual foe."
"I guess that means they're taking us seriously now."
"That must be a new experience for you."
Starlight scowled around to see Adagio staring at the wall, lightly conducting her spell with a wagging finger.
"...Are you worried?"
"Not in the slightest. Buck is far more capable than any of you give him credit for."
"You just have this look on your face like your pet cat ran away."
"Do you have a point?"
"...Okay, look. We're already outnumbered, and outgunned. We need him if we're going to win this. You know that, and I know that."
"Yes. So what?"
"So, Sunburst tells me that Buck is an overthinker. He needs to be told things directly to be sure about them. He's pretty dumb that way."
"And?"
"If you ask him earnestly to join our team, he might seriously consider it."
"Oh, I see. You want me to coerce him into this little crusade because you don't have the diction to do it yourself. Is this your version of cooperation?"
"I'll do whatever I have to in order to protect innocent people from these monsters. Even if it means working with a monster myself."
"For now?"
"For now."
Another group of people shuffled past Starlight and Adagio. A few of them were small children, looking in awe at the tunnel of surging water.
"I can offer a strategy or two, but what you need to understand is the biggest thing holding Buck back is that woman he's with. As long as he needs her permission, he'll never join in this fight willingly."
"You can't honestly expect me to try and break them up!"
"I don't expect much of anything from you." Adagio grinned, taking in Starlight's indignant fury like a decadent treat. "She's holding him back, in more ways than one, and you know it. We won't get anywhere with Buck until little miss Ditzy Doo loosens his collar. She is keeping him weak."
"She's just trying to protect him. You know better than anyone that Ditzy Doo is fierce when she has the right motivation."
"So when you pitch the idea of Buck fighting on our side, do you expect that she'll try to 'protect him' from you?"
To that, Starlight had no answer.	





Ditzy grimaced as she stepped out of her car. The whole sidewalk was frosted in fossilized bird shit. Ditzy opened her trunk and sifted through the odds and ends.
“What’re you doing?” Scootaloo said from the backseat.
“Whatever I can!” Ditzy Doo said.
She had a jack, old toys that Dinky had forgotten about, even an emergency kit and foldable crutches in case she happened to fall badly.
Underneath it all was Ditzy’s destroyed shield and her hammer; Marriane.
“You probably shouldn’t get on that ankle, but here. I’m going to go on ahead.” Ditzy passed Scootaloo a crutch, and without another word, she ran up to the building that Adagio indicated.
“Buck, are you in there!?”
The door and windows were boarded up, but Ditzy could hear the sounds of activity inside. Things were breaking and Buck was screaming.
Ditzy felt herself slipping back to a horrible memory. She couldn’t freeze up now. She needed to fight. Just like before.
Ditzy raised Marriane, and just as she started to swing at the door, she heard a crash coming from the alley nearby.
And there he was, beneath a fire escape that was ironically unused.
Buck was covered in glass, on the ground, and groaning. A window on the wall next to him was shattered open.
“Come on  man…you know this…jumpin’ through windows instead of breakin’ them first is some double dumbass shit…” Buck groaned.
“Buck!” Ditzy’s heart soared. He was okay! He was beaten up and his shirt was all torn again, but he was okay!
“Muffin!? What’re you…wait, no, wait, Ditzy, don’t come!”
The wall smashed open as if a wrecking ball had hit it.
Ditzy saw a demon step out into the alley, steaming with heat and fury, battered and torn all over and smiling through a destroyed face.
The memory returned. Fire, terror, and a monster. But this time would be different. 
This time, Ditzy could fight back.
“C’mere, boy!” The monster lunged at Buck.
“DON’T YOU TOUCH HIM!” 
And in a burst of white wind, Ditzy was there. In the space of a scream, Marriane came down and crunched into the monster’s back, taking him down to a knee.
“Holy shit, you actually hurt him!”
“Buck, get behind me!” Ditzy said. She didn't seem to notice as a pair of equine ears flickered on her head, or the pair of feathery wings on her back, which were more air and light than physical.
Buck was struck still by how beautiful she looked. 
“Ain’t got time for this! Come here!” The man swiped sluggishly at Buck as he squeezed by. 
“I think he’s slowin’ down! Hey, does this guy look familiar to you?” Buck said, trying to focus up. A fireburst kicked the zombie toward them.
“I said get behind me! That thing is dangerous!” Ditzy moved to intercept a strike with Marianne. The smoldering wooden fist thudded into the hammer. Buck could swear he saw Ditzy smirk.
“You better believe it, girly!” Roared the man. Each punch he threw was propelled forward by a blast of flame at his elbow, his whole body rocketing forward in a wild swing.
“What does it want!?” Ditzy said, desperately blocking and dodging.
“He’s tryin’ to catch Starlight!”
“That doesn't make any sense!”
"No, I mean Starlight Glimmer!"
"Okay!"
Clang, clang, clang! Ditzy's hammer swung defensively, parrying the zombie's desperate blows. 
“And I’m pretty sure he’s tryna kill me!” Buck said, holding a hand out, gathering flickers of red aura in his palm.
“What!? What'd you do? Why's his hat pink?
The man swayed unsteadily between swings, squinting with his remaining good eye, searching for an opening.
The man feinted another blow, but this time he stopped the punch short and held up an open palm covered in a grey aura. 	Ditzy braced herself.
“Gotchu now!” The man laughed, grabbing Ditzy by the shoulder, but his grin faded as the aura petered out.
“Ka-pow!” Buck fired off another stream of red fancies, which swarmed the man in a maddening cloud of little flapping birds, dancing forms, and pink sparkles. Ditzy took that opening to deliver another vicious blow with Marriane.
The man stumbled back, bumping against the walls of the alley as he flailed.
“I know that one! That’s a drain magic spell! It’s the same thing Adagio does by touch, and like, through her mouth? It’s complicated.”
“So he’s a leech like her?”
“No! Yes? Maybe! Look, that spell didn’t work on you! Did you bring my necklace?” 
“Yeah, it’s here!” Ditzy said, pulling the dark green stone from her skirt.
“You put pockets in there!? God, Ditzy, you’re amazing!”
“Oh, well, hah, that’s really sweet of you to say, I mean-”
“GAAAH!” The man roared. Ditzy and Buck ducked as a trashcan lid came flying at their heads.
“Okay, no time, no time! My magic’s been acting strange this whole fight, so I gotta get creative!” Buck quickly wrapped the cord around the face of the hammer.
“What’re you doing?”
“I think this’ll work!” 
“You think what’ll work!?”
The monster man came again, charging even as flames gathered at his elbow, ready to deliver a haymaker like a cannon blast.
“Just hit him!”
Ditzy brought Marianne around. 
There was a vicious crunch, like an axe biting into a tree, and then the wooden arm fell to pieces. 
The man’s fury and confidence folded in an instant.
“Huh,” Buck said.
“Time to go.” The man said. Flames exploded from beneath his feet, propelling him into the air over Buck and Ditzy’s heads in a great leap.
“Sorry to cut’n run, kids, but you’re more trouble than you’re worth!” 
The man landed behind Buck and Ditzy and immediately ran for the mouth of the alleyway, just as Scootaloo hobbled around the corner.
“Hey Ditzy, I know it's not the safest, but I wanted to see if I could AHH!” Scootaloo screamed, and a blast of air panicked out of her hand.
It knocked Scootaloo on her ass and sent the revenant flying in the opposite direction, where he smacked his head on the fire escape, then thudded to the ground, motionless.
Buck and Ditzy looked at Scootaloo, who was no less bewildered.
“Uh…sneak attack?”
“...heh. hahahAHAHAHAH!” A hysterical laugh exploded out of Buck’s mouth. Ditzy looked at him, shaking with nerves, but Buck’s smile caught on her face, and soon she was giggling with him.
“Ditzy, you were amazing in there!”
“Huh?”
“You were on some Xena shit with that hammer! How did you know I was over here!? God damn, the way you swing that thing...” Buck said. He held Ditzy by the shoulders, rambling and laughing. “Hey, hey, Ditzy? Can I kiss you?”
“What? Now?”
“Well, yeah! You’re really damn hot right now, and we just survived, whatever the hell that was, and-”
Ditzy closed the distance and met Buck’s lips with hers. It was nothing like any of the times they’d kissed before. It was assertive and thirsty. It was a lot like the way Adagio always kissed Buck, but Ditzy touched his cheeks gently and pressed her breasts against his chest. When she pulled away, she looked just as shocked as Buck.
“That, uh…where’d that come from?” Buck said, then he whined as Ditzy smacked his shoulder. “Ow! Why!?”
“Do you have any idea how worried you made me!?” Ditzy huffed, putting her hands on her hips.
“I’m sorry, Muffin, but Starlight was in trouble!”
“So why didn’t you just send Adagio in!? Isn’t she supposed to be on your side right now, or something?”
“Well, we ran at the portal at the same time and-holy shit, what would’ve happened if that closed on me? Holy shit.”
“Oh gosh, your face! That guy really did a number on you…” Ditzy pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and started gently cleaning Buck up. 
“Uh, guys…?” Scootaloo said, getting to her feet. Buck and Ditzy seemed to be in their own little world. She couldn’t help but notice that Ditzy was smiling as she tried to wipe the ash off Buck’s face.
“There you are!”
Adagio ran around the corner, nearly knocking Scootaloo to the ground all over again. An orb of water was floating just above her hand, ready to lash out, but it splashed to the floor as Adagio saw Ditzy doting on Buck. Adagio’s concern hardened into a business-like ambivalence, like flipping a switch.
“Ah. So you managed to take down the cloak, then?”
“Scoots did! It was hilarious! But not before Ditzy fought that dude, and I, I think I figured some shit out. Whatever this guy is, he doesn’t give a shit about tanking hits, but he’s runnin’ on mana.
“As in his body?”
“Yeah! Like you, ‘dagio.”
“I’ll thank you not to compare me to this rabble, Buck. Starlight?”
Starlight ran around the corner.
“Weeee should go. The fire department will be here any minute, and I don’t want to have to pay bail if we all get arrested for arson.”
“How is that even an option for you? Nevermind. What’re we gonna do with gruesome over here?” Buck said.
“We’re gonna to let the pros handle this and go home. Come on, Buck.” Ditzy said, taking Buck’s hand.
“Hold up, Muffin. This could be important!” Buck said.
An evil grin curled on Adagio’s face as Ditzy frowned.
“Well, I-woah! What did you do to him!?” Starlight said.
“Oh dear. Buck, I thought you might be semi-capable in this situation, but I didn’t think you’d mangle your assailant, you beast!” Adagio said with a fresh smile.
“Hol’ up, now, I didn’t do any of that! Okay, I hit him with, like a pipe, but I didn’t take his damn arm off! That was an accident!”
“I see you took my ‘melt people’s faces off’ suggestion seriously. Yeesh.” Starlight said.
“That wasn’t me!”
“Well, how did this happen, then?”
“He fell! We both fell when the floor gave out, but he took the worst of it!”
“We need to get you to a doctor, Buck. You might be hurt and just not know it!” Ditzy said.
“In this economy? Can’t you just cast a heal on me like last time?” Buck said, looking at Starlight.
“We don’t have time to argue! Buck and Ditzy, can you please drag this…thing to one of the cars so we can get out of here?” Starlight said. Ditzy glared at her for a second, then sighed.
“Fine.” Ditzy said, and with that, she and Buck hauled the old ghoul away from the scene.
As they piled into Ditzy’s car, the poor folks that had just lost their home looked on in shock. 
“Hey, you guys, I’m really sorry about this place. I know what it’s like to lose a home, and-”
“Buck, come on, we have to go!” Starlight said.
“And I know there’s this homeless shelter up on third avenue that’ll put you up for a little while. Ask for Thorax, and tell him that Buck sent you and you’ll be alright.”
Sirens were approaching from a distance. 
“Buck!” Starlight shouted.
“And uh, y’all didn’t see nothin’, right?”
“We won’t tell nobody!” Said a little girl, who’s far more emaciated mother took protectively by the wrist.
“Alright. Y’all take care of yourselves.”





It was twenty minutes earlier, and in a little store on the west side of Canterlot, everything was quiet. The shop was closed on Saturday, so its owner took her time dusting shelves, adjusting displays, and rearranging products.
Business, as always, had been spectacular, due in no small part to reliable customers and useful connections, but one had to wonder how long it would last.
There just wasn’t any challenge in the game anymore. That darling sweetheart upstairs seemed to have found a bit of a calling, and it made the wizened shopkeep yearn for younger, more adventurous days. 
She was proud, truly, and very glad of the soundproofing that had been applied to her tenant’s bedroom, but it left her feeling that maybe she was in need of a change of pace. 
She needed to do something about this numb feeling where her passion used to be, otherwise, she might as well just curl up and die.
She had just finished sweeping up when she heard a frantic knocking at the back door.
“We’re closed at the moment, dear! Come back tomorrow between ten and six!”
The knocking grew louder and more frantic, blows from more than just two fists echoing through the store before ceasing all at once.
“Damn kids.”
The window shattered, and the scream to come was lost among the buzzing of wings and the hissing of toothy maws.





“Yes it’s on twentieth and still slightly on fire. No one saw us, except the people we saved. Will they talk? I doubt it, but I also doubt that anyone would believe them if they did. Squatters, yes. Might want to send someone around in case there were any witnesses. Right. Where? Understood.” Starlight said into her phone.
The quiet in Ditzy’s car was beyond awkward. Buck and Scootaloo sat on either side of what looked like a lightly napping corpse. It would take a while for the smell of smoke to wash out of Ditzy’s seats.
Buck had many questions as usual, but they were deafened by the most important one in his head; “Is Ditzy mad at me?” the answer was almost definitely yes, but she was numbly steering the car according to Starlight’s directions. He didn’t want to broach the subject; silence was always better than an argument, so he sat, staring out the window, trying to process everything that had happened.
After an agonizing stretch of quiet city roads, the gang pulled up on a discreet warehouse space near the eastern docks. 
“Y’all realize that we look exactly like mobsters hauling a dead body?” Buck grumbled as he, Ditzy, and Starlight dragged the man through an unlocked door on the side of the warehouse.
“Don’t worry. This place is under constant surveillance, and no one is around to see us do this.” Starlight said. She procured some zip ties from a nearby crate and proceeded to tie the man’s remaining wrist to a pipe and his ankles together. “There. Now he won’t get away.”
“See, now, when you say shit like that is exactly when I start worrying. It makes me think of questions like; ‘What the fuck kind of influence does this organization have that they can have a casual crime warehouse on the east side?’ and ‘How many times has GlimGlam dragged a motherfucker into this warehouse in pieces because of magic?’” Buck said.
“You’re the one that broke him into pieces!” Starlight said,
“That wasn’t me!” Buck said.
“I thought you fought monsters? Like animals?” Ditzy said.
“We do! But just recently, the monsters have been people. This is also pretty new to me.”
“Is it?” Ditzy mumbled.
“What are you gonna do to this poor guy?” Buck said.
“Poor guy? He beat you bloody and tried to capture both of us!”
“That’s a point, but he doesn’t really seem like, uh, like villainous? It’s hard to explain.” Buck said.
“I’m going to ask him some questions.”
“Is anyone gonna fix my ankle?” Scootaloo said.
“Soon, Scootaloo. Before we get started, let’s go over what we know. This man is in the Order/Telluric quadrant. Earth pony. He wanted to capture me-”
“And me, I think, until he saw that my powers were kind of bunk,” Buck said.
“Bunk? What do you mean?”
“My aura was red instead of pink, for one.”
“In the absence of our connection, your aura turned red?” Adagio said, quickly scribbling in a notepad.
“Yeah, and it just sort of petered off after a bit, instead of exploding like usual!”
“Oh, well that makes perfect sense,” Adagio said.
“It does?” Ditzy said.
“Of course it does. Buck, I’ve been teaching you magic for weeks, and in that time I’ve watched you grow increasingly exhausted. You’re deprived, and emotionally drained. It only makes sense that your power would fizzle.”
“What are--wait, you knew that and you still let him fight alone!?” Starlight said.
“It was an accident, at first. I was confident that Buck would survive, due to his crafty nature. I also assumed that you would be there should he fail, and, accounting for your incompetence, I believed that Ditzy Doo would come to his defense should worse come to worst.”
“Hey! What about me?” Scoots huffed.
Adagio stroked Scootaloo's cheek and then her hair.
“I thought you would be preoccupied with your own mission, and yet you managed to position yourself just right to land the decisive blow of the conflict. You’ve impressed me, Little Birdie.”
“Oh geez, uh….hah…it was nothing?”
“What do you mean Buck is deprived?” Starlight said.
“I think you should ask his girlfriend about that.”
“Don’t start, Adagio.” Buck growled.
“Buck has been repressing himself for Ditzy Doo’s sake, all to maintain the illusion of a functional human pairing. Which means it’s only a matter of time before his magic flounders entirely.”
“Shut up,” Buck growled, but Adagio strolled up to him and poked at his chest to punctuate her words.
“You. Have. Physical. Needs. If you don’t maintain a sound heart and a sound mind, you’ll never gain control over your powers, and that is the truth. You can deny it, you can run away from it, but that is reality.”
“I said stop it! I don’t want to have this conversation right now!” Buck said. From the corner of his eye, he saw Ditzy looking absolutely mortified.
“And when will you be ready, Buck!?” Adagio exploded.
“Enough! You can bicker later! Adagio, can you wake him up?” Starlight said.
“If I must.” Adagio waved a hand, and the water bottle she was holding erupted in a seltzer stream that brought the maimed cowboy sputtering to consciousness.
“What in tarnation!? Uh, oh. Oh damn. I see. Y’all got me dead to rights.” Despite his mangled state, the man was oddly calm.
“I’m going to make this as simple as possible. I’m going to ask you questions, and you’re going to answer them.” Starlight said.
“Or what?” The man grinned.
“Jesus, I can’t look at his face when he talks,” Buck said, covering his mouth.
“Well that ain’t a problem, since I’m not tellin’ you nothin’ and I won’t be hangin’ around.” The man said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Starlight said.
“It means, it won’t be long before I get loose. Whether I want to or not.”
“If we’re on a crunch for time, that’s all the more reason not to waste it.” Starlight pulled a small leather sack from her pocket, pouring some odd green dust into her palm.
“Woah, Woah, what the hell are you about to do!?” Buck said.
“It’s a minor mind control spell.”
“Mind control!?”
“It’s a modified motor mouth spell that will force him to tell the truth. This will get him to talk, so we can figure out our next move!”
“Wait, aren’t you supposed to be one of the good guys? You can’t just go fucking around with a man’s head! That’s a huge invasion of privacy! That’s gotta be against like, the magical geneva conventions, or whatever!”
Ditzy’s embarrassment blinkered into sheer panic for a moment.
“There’s no time for this! It won’t hurt him, and it's just for a little bit! He’s barely even human; look at him!” Starlight said.
“What the fuck? I know he’s all messed up, but he’s definitely a person under all that, right!?”
“I’m a human, yeah, I’ll tell you that.” The man said.
“You see!?”
“Don’t listen to him! Trust me, this is for the greater good. The sooner it's done, the sooner we can plan our next move, but he’s got critical information that we need, and I’m not going to waste this opportunity just because it makes you uncomfortable.” 
Starlight raised her hand to her lips. The powder glowed with her cyan aura, and then she blew it at the captive cloak.
“NO!” Buck dove to stop the spell, but it was too late. He took the powder full in the face. He doubled over with a coughing fit, Ditzy running to pat his back.
“Why did you do that!? That was my only component for the spell!” Starlight said.
Buck looked up at Starlight, furious for a moment. Then his lips started moving and his words came out fast and filterless.
“I’m sorry Starlight, but when I was in school there was this girl who fucked with people’s memories, real sweetheart, can’t remember her name, but it was a real bad scene and when it got fixed it caused this blowback where everyone who got their memories altered had this feedback that actually put people down for a while. Like a bunch of us fell into comas, including me, and it was fucked up, and anyway, you can’t just dick around with people’s heads! That’s like textbook villainy, just ask Adagio!”
“Oh, yes, very villainous. You should be ashamed, Starlight!” Adagio laughed.
“And hey look, I know this guy came after us, but he let you run off to help save those folks, like, I don’t think he’s bad, I think he’s just doing what he’s got to do!”
“That’s about it, yep.” The man said.
“And I swear I know this guy from somewhere, right, like I’ve definitely seen him around town before, I just can’t-wait, why can’t I stop talking? Oh shit, oh shit, shit shit shit!”
“Buck, calm down. You may want to get something to gag yourself with while the spell wears off, otherwise you might-”
“I don’t keep porn on my laptop, it has its own solid-state drive I got as a birthday present a while ago, and even though its a terabyte, its already halfway full!”
“What?” Ditzy said.
“Ohhhh my~!” Adagio said.
“I lost my virginity at Camp Everfree while all that magic shit was going down!” Buck said.
The living corpses’ eyebrows flew up.
“What the hay?”
“Come on, Buck, let’s get you home, okay?” Ditzy said, taking Buck’s hand.
“I…I think Mrs. Cake is kind of hot! Even though she’s like really judgemental, I kinda wanna slap that ass around!”
“She’s old enough to be your mother!” Ditzy balked.
“Most of my clients have been older women! Before you, I couldn’t remember the last time a girl my age hit on me! It’s always gay guys and cougars, with no in-between!” Buck complained.
“Clients?” Adagio whispered. 
“Wait, what about Adagio?” Scoots said.
“She’s like cougar-zilla! She’s like every cougar stereotype in one! She’s also got a little mole right next to her asshole, and I think it’s really cute.”
Adagio turned red all the way up to her ears.
Their captive started laughing.
“Get him out of here!” Starlight said.
“The first time me and Berry Punch went at it, she totally barfed all over my face while she was riding me, and that’s not even the grossest thing that’s happened to me during sex!”
“The first time!? Why would you go back for seconds?” Adagio said.
“Okay, okay, come on, Buck!” Ditzy said, pulling Buck by the arm.
“Ooh, ooh, me next! Uh…um, I’m actually from Australia!” Scootaloo said.
“I've been using Sunbursts' Netflix account for six years!” Buck slapped a hand over his mouth, but his diatribe exploded out from behind it. “I still haven’t finished Snow Crash! Shit. Shit, shit, shit. I think Demon Slayer is kind of middling, actually, but the anime really elevates it! I think that Ogres and Oubliettes is a little overrated, and I wish people would stop acting like it’s the only roleplaying game that exists!”
“Uh…I had a nasty threesome with Buck and Adagio, and I’m kinda having an existential crisis about it!” Scoots chimed in.
“WHAT!?” Ditzy shrieked.
“God damn it Scoots!” Buck said.
“When!?” Ditzy said, grabbing Buck’s collar.
“Not recently, not recently! Before we started dating, I swear! It was kind of a spur of the moment thing It was Adagio’s idea, but I got really into it after a bit!” Buck said, defensively.
“It was a wonderful night.” Adagio smirked.
“I dated one of the Rainbooms!” Buck said. 
“You did not!?” Adagio balked.
“Anything else you feel like confessing?” Ditzy sighed, hands on her hips.
“How about that I love you? I haven’t told you that today.” Buck said. Adagio rankled.
“Buck…that’s really sweet, but I think-”
“How about how I think you’re beautiful, and even more so when you fight? How about how when you and Adagio fought, it gave me a thrill, even though I knew it was wrong, but I’ve never had anyone that was willing to fight over me and it was so strange, you were so hot out there, and I just didn’t want to say it because I know you hate all of this magic stuff, but it’s weird, it’s not what I thought it was, I mean magic has screwed my life up multiple times, but when I look at it as a craft, it’s, I dunno, it’s like any other art form, and I wish I could show you how beautiful it can be!”
“Wait, wait, what are you talking about?”
“Ditzy I love you. I love you so much, and that’s the truth! I want to see you happy, and I want to watch Dinky grow up and I want to be there for the both of you, because when we’re together, it feels like the whole world is on hold because all I want to do is hold your hand and talk about nothing. And…”
“Buck, please, you don’t have to-”
“And you make me so damn happy, it kills me how selfish I feel when I want something more, but I do! I want to be that guy that you need and give you the love you deserve but I’m not gettin’ what I need, and it’s not your fault, Ditzy, it’s not your fault! I’m horny! I’m way hornier than you think I am, all the time! When I come on to you, I never want to push, because you’re trying your best but you’ve got this trauma, and I know what that’s like, Muffin, I do, and it’s not fair, but I feel so guilty when we get intimate, but not as guilty as I feel about the fact that I almost kissed Adagio earlier this week!”
For a moment, no one said anything. Buck looked like he’d just dropped a priceless jewel into a swamp, stammering, covering his mouth, trying to stop the words from coming. Ditzy stood, fists clenched, staring at the ground.
“I’m going home.”
“Ditzy, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” Buck was cut off by a gentle finger to his lips.
“Don’t. Get yourself fixed up, and we can talk about this later. But right now, I’m going home.” Ditzy said, tears welling up in her eyes. She turned to glare at Adagio, then Starlight, before walking briskly out of the warehouse. Her engine turned over, and then she was gone. 
“Can someone give me something to gag myself with? Before I tell my life story?” Buck said, even as he tried to cover his mouth. 
Starlight awkwardly produced a bit of rope from an open crate. Even as he complained about how shitty the day went, Buck pulled one of his socks off, stuffed it in his mouth, and then proceeded to tie the rope around his head. His words were muffled enough to be unintelligible, and so satisfied, he sat down on a box and put his head in his hands.
Scootaloo sat next to him and patted his back.
Starlight and Adagio looked at each other for a moment, then turned in unison to their captive enemy.
“You are terrible at keeping your team together,” Adagio muttered.
“This is just as much your fault as mine! Now, do you have any charm spells?” Starlight whispered.
“I can use enchantment spells, but I’m nowhere near as skilled as my little sister, and I personally find them distasteful.”
“You hypnotized a whole school!”
“Those were desperate times.”
“I know for a fact that you were smiling the entire time!”
“Those were also fun times.”
“Well, can you please have a little “fun” and enchant this man!?”
“No need.” The man said. His expression was solemn.
“What?” Starlight said.
“The boy put his neck on the line to help you, and then he did the same thing for me, takin’ that spell. That there was some genuine kindness, and that tells me that y’all ain’t all as bad as I’ve been told.”
“We are not the bad guys! You; you’re with the bad guys!” Starlight said.
“I beg to differ, but there ain’t no time. I’ll tell you what I can.”
“Who are you?” Starlight said.
“My name’s Burnt Oak. I used to sell Everfree firewood down on 7th street.”
Buck mumbled something to the effect of ‘I knew it!” against his gag.
“I meant what’s the name of your organization?”
“I can’t say.”
“Can’t, or won’t?” Adagio asked.
“Can’t.”
“So he’s enchanted.” Starlight said.
“Oh, what tipped you off?” Adagio said.
“Shut up. How are you alive?” Starlight asked.
“I’m not. I was dead until a coupl’a months ago.”
“How are you alive now?”
“I can’t say.”
“He’s being sustained by magic. Not unlike myself, but it’s flavor is absolutely revolting.”
“Is that what you meant when you said there’s not much time? Are you using up the last of the magic in your body?” Starlight said.
“That’s right. I’m on borrowed time.”
“Who are your allies?” Starlight said.
“I can’t say.”
“How many of you are there?” Adagio said.
“‘Bout a few.”
“Why are you targeting Canterlot?” Starlight said.
“For the mission. Canterlot’s filled with hopeless people with jacked-up feelings. A perfect place to look for candidates.”
“What is the mission?”
“To change the world through magic.”
“What does that mean?”
“I can’t say.”
“Where is your base?” Adagio asked.
“We’re kept in the dark about that. We just get told where to go, and we are teleported there and back.”
“You don’t teleport yourself?”
“No.”
“How does the person teleporting you know where and when to open portals?”
“He just knows. He knows what each of us’re doing.”
The man’s jaw seemed to slack, and his eyes grew droopy. The darkness of his skin grew sallow and pale.
“How?”
“Can’t say.”
“Who is he?”
“Our leader. He’s a real man of ideals. Gonna shake things up. I don’t know what he looks like.”
“...do you know what his aura looks like?” Starlight said.
“Orange. Waxy, kinda. Gives me the willies.” The man said. Adagio immediately wrote that down in her notebook.
The man seemed to age a few decades as they spoke. Hair was beginning to fall from his head, and his eyes glowed like dull orange embers.
“Why are you working for this man?” Adagio said.
“I got two lil’ sprouts. A daughter and a son. They need their daddy right now, but I can’t be around. What I can do is help them. See, we’ve had this little parcel of land nearby. Been in our family for generations, and now it’s at risk of bein’ bought out from under us, and not for the first damn time. Our leader promised me that the land would be protected. To get square, I told him about what’s waiting there, and he decided to bring me back to help with the plan.”
“You have to know that whatever your group is going to use that land for, it can’t be anything good!” Starlight said.
“Maybe. I can’t say.”
“So then why help?”
“As long as me and mine are alright, that’s good enough fer me. Somethin’ rough is comin’ fer this city, let me tell you, but if all you folks’re as good as that one over there, maybe y’all can shut it down, and my kids can keep their land besides.”
By now, Burnt Oak was little more than a mummified husk. He glowed with a haunting orange light and began to shake.
“He’s fading!” Starlight said.
“What’s waiting on that land!?” Adagio said.
“I c-can’t! Power! Power is waiting on the land! Heaps of power!”
“What are your children’s names!? Where is the land?” Starlight shouted.
“Get back, you idiot!” Adagio said, pulling Starlight away.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry for what I done! Forgive me master!” Burnt Oak howled as the embers in his eyes exploded into a column of horrid orange mana which disintegrated the man where he sat.
The pillar of mana screamed like a chorus of damned souls, and then, finally, there was silence.





Ditzy was so tired. She was tired of worrying about Buck, she was tired of working so hard at, well, work, and she still had to figure out what to do with Dinky once summer vacation rolled around. 
She needed a bath and a massage and a good cuddle, but more than anything, she needed to get a grip.
Ditzy stood in front of her bathroom mirror, face streaked with tears, and tried to center herself.
“You’re losing your man, Ditzy! He loves you, he was under a truth spell, and he said it, so it’s true, right? So why is he…Adagio is nasty. Buck likes aggressive girls like that, and she must be messing with him when they have their gross little study dates. She’s getting her hooks in him again. You can’t let this happen. Your man is getting lost in a world that you know he doesn’t want to be a part of. You have to get him back!”
She was still reeling from what she had seen and done. She had fought a monster and won. She had flown to Buck’s side, and he was happy; excited even! He was excited to see her fight. He liked her being fierce.
He didn’t want to say it, but part of him liked everything going on. 
She had to get him back before it was too late.





“Enough is enough, Buck. Are you in or out? I can’t have you messing with my plans and making me waste spells.” Starlight sneered. A few scant minutes had passed, and the spell loosening Buck’s lips had finally worn off. Adagio had spent the time quietly writing in her little pocket notebook with an intense look on her face, while Scootaloo had simply elevated her leg on a box.
“Are you seriously askin’ me this right now? After I got my ass kicked on your behalf and you made me blow a fuckin’ hole in my relationship with Ditzy?”
“Oh noooo, how terrible.” Adagio sighed.
“Shut up, Adagio!” Buck snarled. Adagio blew him a kiss, then continued writing.
“You’re the one that ‘almost kissed’ Adagio! I thought you were the loyal type!”
“He is. Trust me.” Adagio said, rolling her eyes.
“Shut up, Adagio!” Buck and Starlight said in unison.
“You need to stay away from her. I know it’s not ideal, but I could teach you instead!”
“Oh please, you have no idea how to teach this man. Your rote memorization will have him bored or furious by the end of a single session!”
“Starlight, I’m not a soldier. For fuck’s sake, my magic barely even worked in there! I could’ve been killed!”
“But you weren’t, because even though you don’t want to admit it, you have a knack for this. We saved lives today because you kept that cloak busy. You found a way to neutralize his powers, and you didn’t let yourself get kidnapped. Just think, Buck! Whatever these people have planned, it’s probably going to put the whole city in danger, and you can help us stop it! Don’t you want to make a difference for once instead of slinging baked goods and living on tips?”
“Well, when you say it like that…”
“Yes?”
“When you say it like that, you sound like a total asshole. You want me to risk my life, even knowing that Ditzy will do nothin’ but worry herself to death about it? Knowing that my powers are unstable? Why are you so damn desperate to get me out in the field!?”
Starlight Glimmer glanced at Adagio, who caught her with the corner of her eye as she took notes.
“Because you’re a powerhouse in the making!” Starlight said. “You may be unstable, and it may be dangerous, but at least I know I can trust you! At least, I thought I could.” 
“Oh, fuck off! If this shit is so damn dire, why don’t you just get the Rainbooms to fix it!?”
Adagio looked up from her notebook. Starlight looked like she was caught in a bear trap, trying to decide if it was worth chewing off her leg to get away.
Suddenly, there was a ringing from Starlight's pocket. It was a little jingle version of the Harry Potter theme, cutting right through the tension in the warehouse.
“Bon Bon? Yes. We got some answers, but not nearly enough. The cloak is dead. No, not us. He died on his own. The body is gone. What? What do you mean? How is that even-okay, what happened? Are you serious? Okay, I’m on the way.” Starlight said, hanging up.
“What is it now?” Buck groaned.
“Our supplier was robbed while we were fighting. Bon Bon thinks what we went through today might have been a distraction.”
Starlight started heading for the door, but Buck followed along.
“Your supplier? Damn, I didn’t know you were cool like that. You smoke?”
“Our component supplier. Somatic components.”
“Where do you get those?”
“It’s a little shop on the west side. Cauldron Bubbles’ Sanctum of Sorcery.”
“Wait, for real? That’s Moon Dancer’s place! Hold up.” Buck reached for his phone, then frowned. Without needing to be asked, Adagio passed her phone to Buck. “Moonie? Hey, I know it’s been a lil’ while. Are you okay? Yeah, I heard. Yeah…the library? Sure. I’ll see you soon.”
“Who was that?” Starlight said.
“I know the tenant that lives above that shop. She’s gonna meet me at the library.” Buck said.
“Look at you, taking initiative.” Starlight said.
“This isn’t for you; this is for her.”
“If she knows anything useful, can you at least share it with me?” Starlight said.
“Fine. I guess you’re going to the crime scene?”
“No, the Pillars are on that. I’m taking Scootaloo back to Sunbursts’ suite to get healed. You can meet us there.”
Starlight didn’t wait for Scootaloo to catch up. She glanced at Buck and Adagio nervously before hobbling out of the warehouse.
“Adagio?” Buck sighed.
“Yes, Buck?”
“Let’s go. The library ain’t too far from here. “





“If you’re angry at me, you should just say it.” They were crossing the threshold of the Dusty Pages Memorial Library; a red brick building that Adagio was certain predated most of Canterlot. Buck had been brooding out of Adagio’s passenger side window while little red sparks fizzled around his head, and now he was visibly trying to relax.
“I’m angry at myself.” Buck said.
“Still blaming yourself for every little thing, Buck? What’s next, are you going to blame yourself for whatever happened to your friend’s shop?” Adagio said.
The library was extra quiet this late on a week day. Little more than teens studying for finals and the usual suspects milling about the shelves. This place always put Buck at ease, but the circumstances made it feel odd and almost alien.
“She’s not my friend. Not really…we’re on good terms, but it’s hard to explain.” Buck said.
“You can just call her a one-night stand. I won’t judge...very loudly." Adagio said.
"Hello, Buck. You look terrible."
Adagio shuddered as a cream-colored woman with unkempt red and purple hair came up behind her. She had a chubby, curvaceous form, thick eyebrows, and even thicker glasses.
"Good to see you, Moon Dancer. You've gained weight." Buck said.
Adagio looked shocked at Buck, but saw that this Moon Dancer had a small smile on her face.
"And?" Moon Dancer said.
"And you're wearing it extremely well." Buck said.
"Thank you for noticing. Is this the Adagio I've heard about?"
"This is she."
"Adagio Dazzle. An absolute pleasure." Adagio said, with a bit of a flourish.
"So I’ve heard. Are you two still an item?"
"No." Buck said. Again, Adagio rankled.
"And what are you to him? Another suitor?" Adagio said.
For a moment, Adagio thought that a bit of Buck's horniness had flared up, but an extremely similar emotion was radiating off this woman in gentle waves. If Buck’s passion was like a spicy-sweet inferno, this Moon Dancer’s was like a flowing river of red wine. To say she felt threatened was an understatement, and yet, she tasted no ill will.
"Woah, uh, well, it's uh…" Buck started.
"I'm his apprentice, actually. It's not complicated." Moon Dancer said.
“Well, I wouldn’t go sayin’ it like that,” Buck said.
“I’ve studied under you, and you’ve been quietly supporting me since then, even if that support is often just gentle advice and encouragement. Your guidance lead me to a craft and lifestyle that's become a passion. I’ve even studied your work to try and figure out your techniques. I’m your apprentice.”
“I don’t really think that-”
“Don’t think what? That your lessons had an impact on me? I know my Lord is bashful, but you don’t have to downplay your role in my success.”
“And what lessons were those, Buck?” Adagio said, with the ringing tone of a sharpened axe.
“Haha, we’re gettin’ off track! Do you wanna talk out here, or in a booth where we can have some privacy?” Buck said.
“A booth, definitely.” Moon Dancer said.
“I’ll go to the front desk and reserve our usual, then.” Buck said. He stepped away briskly, leaving Adagio and Moon Dancer to stand around awkwardly.
“He's covered in bruises. Did you do that?" Moon Dancer said, finally.
Despite her placid expression, Adagio felt an air of coiled menace radiate off her.
"No, he did that to himself. He got in a fight." Adagio said.
"Was it for someone else?"
"Of course. Why are you smiling?"
"He’s always seemed the type."
“Indeed.” Adagio said.
“Hm.” Moon Dancer said.
"So."
"Hm?"
“‘My Lord?’ Does he make you call him that?”
“No, no, I do that on my own. But he loves it.”
“Does he, now?”
“He absolutely does. You should call him that all the time.” The smug grin that Adagio saw seemed almost alien on the chubby, slightly disheveled face.
“Oh, you are just a treat.” Adagio smirked.
Buck looked back and quirked his head. The trio squeezed into the little study room, which had never seemed cramped before today.
"Alright, what happened?" Buck said.
"I came home to find the front window shattered and a whole shipment of quartz missing." Moon Dancer said.
"What about Cauldron Bubbles?"
"Also missing. This is the strangest thing that’s happened to me this year, so I assumed you might be involved."
“Not by choice, Moonie.”
"Was there any green slime on the premises?" Adagio asked.
"...actually yes. I definitely saw some sort of snot on the ground."
"Changelings. Your manager has been taken by changelings." Adagio said. "Finally, some good news."
"The hell are you talkin’ about?" Buck said.
"If it's changelings, I can track them. I've gotten used to their horrible taste and scent. I have reason to believe this isn't our cloaked friends, but an act of desperation by the queen."
"What makes you say that?"
"Context clues, mostly. You said that your crystals were stolen, yes?"
"Yes."
"Wonderful. That's all we need to know." Adagio said, rising to her feet.
"And? Are you going to return my landlady?"
"I'll make sure that's a priority going forward."
"That sounds suspiciously like you don't care. Buck?"
"Yeah, Moonie?"
"It looks like you're all wrapped up in this business. Can I trust you to save Cauldron Bubbles?"
"I'm not really…I'm not, like a part of the team or anything, I'm just sort of adjacent to the whole thing."
"I understand. Then I'll just have to rely on this one. Please do everything you can." Moon Dancer said, looking at 	Adagio.
"If you’re under the impression that I’m some fairytale hero, you’re mistaken. I do, however, happen to know a few people 	who would very much like to fit that bill, and I will relay your request to them.”
“Is that a yes?” Moon Dancer said.
“That’s a ‘I’ll pass it on’, I think.” Buck said.
“Yes,” Adagio said, opening her phone.
“Adagio does this thing where if you ask her to be nice or do a good thing, she starts acting like an ancient fey tryin’ to cut a deal that ends with you stumbling of a fairy ring in a thousand years.” Buck said. “Ah yes, my dear, I’ll venmo you ten bucks, but in exchange, I’ll take three of your toes!”
“Sounds like a delight.” Moon Dancer said.
“Excuse me?” Adagio said over her shoulder.
“Nothing is ever easy with her. Not even once.”
“Sounds familiar. No wonder you two are such birds of a feather.”
“Or maybe I just attract strange women.” Buck laughed.
“I’m right here. Why are you gossiping as if I left the room?”
“Oh, damn, sorry. My brain starts gettin’ all “Austen Sassy” when I hang out with Moonie.”
“Honestly, between her and Scootaloo, you keep the strangest concubines, Buck.” Adagio said.
“Who?” Moon Dancer said.
“Oh, you’d love her. She makes the most precious noises when you-”
“Okay, we’re leaving! I need to get some ice on my face. Moon Dancer, I really would like to come by and gossip some more once all this crazy shit blows over.”
“So much for a quiet life, Buck.”
“Yeah. I’ll tell you about it later.”
“You know where to find me, My Lord.”
“You don’t have to keep callin’ me that.”
“I’ll stop once you stop blushing, My Lord.”
Buck and Adagio made their way toward the exit. Adagio was beginning to look self-satisfied in a way that left Buck uneasy.
“What’s that smile about?” Buck said.
“Oh, nothing. Just connecting some dots.”
“You want to share with the rest of the class?”
“Haven’t we established that you don’t want to take part in this endeavor?” Adagio said, nose in the air as the two descended some stairs.
“Yeah. Today was an accident.”
“Then we don’t need to discuss it.”
“But we do need to talk.”
“Yes, but later. Now, come along. I’m tired of looking at you when you’re so battered.”
“Aw, that almost sounded like concern! Were you worried about me while I was fighting that zombie?” Buck said, circling ahead of Adagio, trying to catch her eye.
“I was totally confident that you would take care of it!” Adagio looked away, smiling.
“So you weren’t worried that I would get super murdered in there? Not even a lil’ bit?”
“No. I simply trusted you to handle the situation, even without me. And what do you know? You prioritized the safety of others, stayed calm while under direct attack, and even managed to give me effective orders in the process.”
“Don’t you start. I’ve heard enough of this from Glimglam.”
“I’m simply giving you credit. Isn’t that what you want?”
“I want you to stop trying to pull on my strings-” Buck began.
“Buck?” Whispered a raspy voice.
Adagio and Buck looked over to see Smolder at a wide, angled table. On it was a map that looked old and worn, but only by a few decades.
“Smolder? What’re you doin’ here?”
“Shh!” It was Moon Dancer, who was already pushing a book cart away.
“Sorry. What are you doing here? I thought you’d be back in the Bay by now?” Buck said in a hushed tone.
“I’m doing my job! What are you doing here with the witch of the well?” Smolder said.
“Rude.” Buck said.
“Not the worst I’ve heard," Adagio said. "What is this map you have?”
“None of your business,” Smolder said.
“It doesn’t matter. We were just leaving.” Adagio said, tapping her phone. “Buck, Sunburst says he’s got healing crystals, an ice pack, and a juice box waiting for you at his suite.”
“Tell him I love him and that he’s an absolute legend.” Buck said.
“She’s in with Sunburst?” Smolder said.
“She’s with the good guys. For now. I guess.” Buck said.
“Well, if Sunburst vouches for you, I guess we’re on the same team,” Smolder said.
“What are you talkin’ about?” Buck said.
Smolder looked around conspiratorily.
“Okay, lean in close,” Smolder said.
Buck and Adagio huddled with Smolder as she indicated the map.
“The Pillars helped me deal with the dragon situation, and they're paying me to help with their investigation,” Smolder said.
“Oh good, another brute, as if Starlight wasn’t enough. Let me guess; they plan to unleash you as a dragon against our shared enemy.” Adagio said.
“I’m a cartographer, you stuck-up bitch. I can't control myself when I go all scaly, so they asked me to research the caves in the Everfree Mountain Range not far from town.
“What for?” Buck said.
“Changelings. Whatever surveillance the Pillars have in this region, the changelings must be moving through the forest without their knowing. That must be how they keep infiltrating the city. The only way they could do that is if they were using tunnels of some sort.” Adagio said.
“I thought these guys could teleport?”
“Creating portals is mana intensive. They can’t afford to just send grunts into the city willy-nilly with magic. Simple guerilla tactics are far more cost-effective.” Adagio said.
“Right. There’s a large cave system in the region that’s off-limits to the public. The Pillars think that the changelings are using them to get close enough to town that they can sneak in. But, these tunnels are super maze-like, and there aren’t a lot of official maps of them.”
Adagio’s eyes followed Smolder's finger as she gestured over the map. The caves on display snaked in a dizzying amount of directions. On the edges of the map were illustrated signposts indicating nearby landmarks. To the south was Canterlot City, to the west was someplace called the Snowdrop Inn, and to the north was Camp Everfree. Adagio didn’t recognize those last two.
“Yeesh. What a mess.” Buck said.
“Exactly. So I’m here collecting data so that when the Pillars send their people in, they won’t get lost.”
“In theory,” Adagio said.
“Yeah. I was just about to pack up, honestly. I think these caves go way farther into the range than the maps say, and I’ve about run the well dry in this place.” Smolder said.
“Interesting.” Adagio took a quick snapshot with her phone.
“Hey! These maps are old! You can’t just-”
“That will be all, thank you. You’ve been a marvelous help.” Adagio said. “Shall we, Buck?”
“Buck, why are you still wrapped up with this one? And why do you look like crap?”
“Magic, Smolder. It’s always fuckin’ magic. Once a little bit of magic enters the picture, everything just starts snowballing.”
“Well, I’d say take care of yourself, but I know you better than that.”
“Heh.”
“How about you do your best, and I’ll do mine?”
“Same as it ever was.” Adagio saw a bitter smile mirrored between the two. Whatever history they shared, she reasoned it was more than a bit morose, but intimate. She turned her envious eyes away and headed for the door.





Sunburst was working carefully, his hands glowing a soft yellow as they straightened Scootaloo’s leg. 
“I just don’t get it,” Scootaloo said. She was staring at the ceiling.
“What don’t you get?”
“Buck and Adagio, and Ditzy. Buck and Ditzy are like super cute together. They look, I dunno...old. Like they’ve been together for a million years. But Buck and Adagio always look like they’re on their honeymoon and having a fight about 	dinner.”
“Hah, that’s a good way to put it!” Sunburst said. “I thought you’d be more upset about your leg. Weren’t you going for regionals?”
“Who cares? Who cares about regionals?”
“Don’t you?” Starlight said, looking up from her notes. 
“I blew my chance at regionals by chasing Wind Sprint…” 
“I’m sorry, Scoots,” Sunburst said.
“No, no, it’s okay. I’ve been thinking about it, and maybe it was a good thing. I wasn’t really sprinting because I wanted to, and if I’m being honest, I was getting pretty depressed.” 
“Do you want to talk about it? It's okay to talk about your feelings, Scoots.”
“Don't get all sappy! I want to help you guys with this fight. That’s what I want to do. If these freaks are gonna mess with innocent people like Wind Sprint, I wanna go mess with them! Mess up their faces! Yeah!”
“Sorry Scoots, but the only thing messed up right now is your ankle.” Sunburst said. 
“Huh?
“It’s a sprain; a minor tear of the ligament, but even after healing, it’ll take some time before you can get moving again. I’d give it a week or two, maybe.” 
“But, but, what am I supposed to do if I can’t run around!? How am I going to help?”
“You can help by resting and getting well. You did good today, Scootaloo. Better than anyone could have expected.” Starlight said.
“Uh, thanks…?” Scoots said. Sunburst frowned.
“I mean, uh, you really showed some initiative saving that girl, and you handled things before anyone got really hurt. You may be new to this, but you’re a natural.” Starlight said.
“Oh, well, I never would’ve gotten up there if it wasn’t for Buck and Adagio…”
“Right. What exactly did Buck do? It was mana transference, definitely, but what did he say to you?”
“He just gave me a sorta pep talk! He said I could do it, basically and he said my butt is cute and then I was off, like whoosh!” 
“Buck delivered a speech, and then you got a windfall of mana,” Starlight said.
“Pretty much.”
“Sunburst? Any thoughts?”
“Plenty. Normally mana transference is simple; It’s just a small boost of mana. But what Scootaloo described was different. She underwent an awakening. A person speaks passionately about something they have an emotional attachment to, followed by a big surge of magic in an individual they’re close with. Now, this could be a byproduct of Buck’s large pool of mana, but doesn’t that sequence of events sound familiar?” 
“It sounds like Twilight Sparkle. And Sunset Shimmer.” Starlight said.
“And Adagio was the one that prompted him. Do you remember how she drew on our magic in the changeling nest? When we jumped out the window?”
“Yeah!” Scoots said.
“That was the Power of Friendship. She was able to pull on it, just for a second.”
“That’s impossible. Adagio Dazzle doesn’t understand ‘friendship’.” Starlight said.
“Hey, come on, that’s not true! Adagio was our friend for a buncha weeks! We got drunk and watched cartoons and stuff!”
“She was just pretending to get close to you so she could worm her way back into Buck’s good graces. Just like she’s trying to do now.” Starlight said.
“Well, my point is, if Adagio was able to use the power of friendship, even second-hand, due to her mana-draining abilities, and Buck is able to induce awakening like the Princess of Friendship, we might be sitting on our ace in the hole.”
“...you might be right, Sunburst. I hate it, but you might be right!”
“Wait, what’s bad about that?” Scootaloo said.
“We’re fighting against opponents that can come back from the dead. We don’t know where they’re based, we’re outnumbered, and they’re in league with the queen of the changelings. Buck could be what turns the tide in our favor…but he doesn’t want to be a part of this fight, and I don’t blame him.” Sunburst said.
“That, and if Adagio is acting as a catalyst for this power, it means we have to keep both her and Buck close,” Starlight said. “That witch must have been planning this from the start. The moment she realized there was a looming threat, she had an in.”
“Oh…that’s bad,” Scootaloo said. “Ditzy’s not gonna like that one bit.”
“If we’re going to have any chance at saving Canterlot for whatever these creeps have planned, we need to keep Buck and Adagio together. I don’t like it at all, but its better than letting Adagio run loose on her own.” Starlight said.
“But what about Ditzy!? She hates this stuff!” Scootaloo said.
Sunburst was about to interject, but Starlight cut him off with a sigh.
“I’ll talk to her. In the meantime, we can’t let Buck and Adagio get too close…but we can’t let them stay apart, either.”





“What’s the matter, now?” Adagio said.
They had been driving for a few minutes. The north side’s skyscrapers were rising into view, flashing the burning glare of the setting sun into Buck’s eyes. 
“What?” Buck said.
“You’re pouting. I can taste you pouting.”
“I’m obviously having a shitty day, Adagio. I almost got myself killed, Ditzy is pissed at me, and you…!”
“What about me?”
“You’re pissed at me too, aren’t you?”
“No, I’m frustrated.”
“Well, that makes two of us. But you don’t really care what I think, do you?”
“Of course I care, Buck.”
“Why did you have to blow my ass out like that? Why are you trying to fuck with me and Ditzy? I thought you respected what we have.”
“I never said that, Buck. I said I would give you some much-needed space, and I’ve kept that promise!”
“You call what happened on Tuesday keeping your promise?”
“I was setting boundaries.”
“You were breaking my boundaries.”
“I was trying to hammer into your head that you need to be emotionally honest to master your magic. The conversation happened to wander, as our little talks tend to. You’re the one that embraced me.”
"Well, I feel pretty shitty about that, too. I’m a grown-ass adult in a committed relationship, and I shouldn’t allow things to escalate like that."
“So it’s shame, then. She has you believing that it's shameful to embrace your feelings, even if those feelings go against the grain.”
“Just because I’m a horny idiot, that doesn’t mean I have to act like one. I have an honest, normal relationship with someone, for once, and I don’t need you to come in and try to yank me away from it.”
"It's not my fault that things aren't working out with your painfully vanilla housewife and her ugly child." Adagio hissed.
"Don’t insult them! You can talk shit about me all you want, but you don’t get to make fun of them!” Buck barked.
Adagio glanced at him, a bit shocked, and saw that he was serious.
“Sorry. I wasn’t trying to get heated.” Buck said.
“And that’s the problem, Buck! If your mana is powered by passion, you can’t keep running away from your feelings. Especially not your feelings for me.”
“Oh, my god. This was such a trap. You’re teaching me to cast with this emotion so you can groom me.”
“I am teaching you to cast with passion, because passion is your strongest emotion.”
“And it’s just a coincidence that you’ve put me in a space where I have to feel ‘passion’ in a room with you, alone, every single week, while I’m in a relationship with another woman.”
“Well, when you say it like that, it makes me sound like a duplicitous, opportunistic monster,” Adagio smirked.
“I was gonna say that’s a really convoluted way to make me hold your hand.”
“Oh, fuck you, Buck.”
“Like, holy shit, do you ever do anything normal, Adagio? Can we not keep doing this thing where you have to turn everything into a game of 3D chess?”
“I am as I am, Buck.”
“So if I hang around you, are you going to just keep screwing with me and Ditzy?”
“Is that what you think I’m doing? You think I'm involved with you just to spite your little affair?”
“Don’t gaslight me, Adagio.”
“I said what I said because I care about your well-being. It's of no concern to me who you choose to lay with. You should be honored; caring for humans is an act of will for me.”
“You only care about me because I keep you fed.” For a moment, Buck tasted like bitter bile. Accusations bubbled up in his throat, but he choked them down.
“You know that’s not true.”
“So what are you after? Who’s side are you on?”
“I’m on my side, but I need you, and you need me. Everything I’ve done since you decided to start talking to me again, I’ve done with the secondary goal of helping you.”
“Secondary to what?”
“Secondary to my own ambitions.”
“Which you aren’t going to tell me.”
“No. Frankly, I don’t think you actually care about that. You want to know what I want from you.” 
“You’re being surprisingly upfront. It’s not like you.”
“When I said to treat me as a colleague, I meant it.”
“So I can trust you to tell it to me straight?”
“That’s right.”
Adagio’s fancy sports car snapped up a little parking spot on the side of the road. 
“Okay, Adagio. Say your piece.”
“Buck, you are the most frustrating person I've ever tried to court."
"Well, the feeling's mutual."
“All I’m trying to do is give you a space where you are free to explore the person you are, whoever that person is. I’ve taken a liking to you, and I’m curious to see your potential unleashed.”
“Okay, so I am just a project to you.”
“No, I respect you too much for that. If you don’t want to develop your magic any further, you are well within your rights to do so. If that’s how you feel, we can stop our study sessions. However, I still enjoy spending time with you, even if that time is unproductive.”
“Well, if you promise not to screw with me and Ditzy’s relationship, then we can hang.”
Anxious silence flooded into the space between the two.
“...I don’t think she’s right for you. And before you start screaming at me about loyalty and monogamy; I’m not trying to poison your relationship. But I also refuse to watch you suffer and starve yourself.“ 
“I don’t know what you mean by that.”
“Oh, yes you do. You’re very well acquainted with starvation, aren’t you Buck?”
“Well, yeah. I’m poor.”
“I don’t mean physically. I mean, you are starved for validation. You want to be cared for so acutely, but you despise yourself for it. And you are filled with shame. Why is that, Buck?”
“No, I’m not filled with fucking shame, Adagio.”
“Oh, yes you are. You are ashamed when I buy something for you. You are ashamed when you step into a kitchen. You are ashamed when you babble about your interests. You are especially ashamed of how well you pampered me in the bedroom.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Haven’t we been over this? I can taste your emotions, and I’ve had months to sample and get accustomed to your flavors. So when I say how you feel, know that it is the truth. I don’t flatter you and I don’t embellish you. You’re too important for that.”
“So what are you trying to say, then? So I want validation; so does everybody!”
“You want for it like a starving man wants for a meal, and at the same time, you’re terrified of taking space in other people’s lives. You suffer alone, because you don’t want to be a bother. Who did this to you? Who deprived you of the attention you need? Was it your parents? A previous partner? Your friends?”
“You’re fishing.”
“And now you’ve found someone damaged. Someone pitiable who you can sacrifice yourself for. So you’re going to hollow yourself out and remove all of your sharp edges in order to be a cuddly, inoffensive plush doll.”
"You’re over the line, Adagio.”
“I understand what you need. Better than anyone, and still you choose to attach yourself to a little girl who will stuff you in a toybox the moment she realizes that you can’t be tamed. But I want to see you evolve, Buck. I want to see the person you are when you aren’t being constrained by petty things like money and shame!”
“You’re just trying to seduce me, again, and I’m not letting you manipulate me.”
“I’ve already seduced you, Buck. Why would I manipulate you? We’re just having a conversation.”
“Because, and don’t take this the wrong way, I think you have a hard time turning it off. You approach everything in this mean-spirited, machiavellian way, and it’s fucking exhausting. Even now, you’re trying to talk me into a corner. Even though that’s not who you are. Not really.”
“And what would your little human brain know about the machinations of an immortal beast?”
“I know that the real reason you’re helping me is not because I’m part of your master plan. I think it’s a lot simpler than that.”
“Excuse me?”
“I think you’re just coming up with excuses to keep me around.”
Buck watched Adagio strangle a look of shock before it could spread across her face. 
“I’m not stupid. Why do you and Starlight think I’m fucking stupid? Do you really think I would get close to you again, after you admitted you were using me, without at least thinking about it? Come the fuck on, Adagio.”
“What’s your point, Buck?”
“My point is, I’m not going to let you dress me down without giving some back. Since lying to me didn’t work, and invading my date didn’t work, you jumped at the first chance you had to get back in my orbit; teaching me magic. That way you could conveniently leech off my mana with my consent, and by teaching me to defend myself, you would make it harder for any rivals to get at me.”
“And?”
“And that was real dastardly and all, but it wasn’t enough to ‘win me over'. Because what me and Ditzy have is different, and even though you’ve fit me all snuggly into your plans, you can’t keep me. All Ditzy ever did was love me, and that was enough. And I know that pisses you off, but since you’re Adagio-fucking-Dazzle, you can’t just admit it.”
“You’re projecting. You’re the one that’s always holding back.”
“You say that you don’t know who I am, but you’ve always known how I felt. Always.”
“So you’re going to settle for a human because she makes it easy for you.” Adagio’s tone had grown frigid.
“I'm a human too, Adagio.”
“So you keep reminding me.”
“So maybe I’m not getting what I want right now. Ditzy is trying her best to fit me into her life and make us both happy. I could never get that kind of care from you.”
Buck saw Adagio cringe violently in her seat like she was struggling against the urge to strangle him. 
“I dove into your hobbies. I ingratiated myself with your friends. I fought to protect you and yours! How is that not ‘care’ to you!?” Adagio snarled.
“Are you tellin’ me that your love language is evil scheming?”
“Don’t change the subject! I have moved mountains for you! I let you stick your dick in me whenever you wanted; an offer which you were too scared to fully exploit!”
“I didn’t want our whole relationship to be about sex!”
“Well, maybe it should have been!” Adagio screamed.
Buck paused, mouth wide, caught mid-diatribe.
“Uh…what?”
Adagio sat back in her driver’s seat, staring up at the ceiling.
“Why are you so timid about sex, Buck? You’re incredible at it! Why are you ashamed of that!?”
“If you knew about what I’ve done, you’d be ashamed to be with me!”
“Oh, please, I’ve seen you on video! You should get paid for that!”
“I do!”
“...come again?”
“I have been paid for it, Adagio! I’m a fucking gigolo! I didn’t want to tell you because you'd start looking down on me! They always fucking do!”
“You’re…you’ve been a courtesan?”
“A tramp! Sometimes…sometimes this world just isn’t fair, and sometimes you have to do shit that you’re not proud of, and then it follows you wherever you go! I’m sure you can fucking relate!”
Silence sat heavy in the car while a lightning storm raged over the sea of Adagio’s mind. 
It made sense. 
The way he cleaned up for a date, his focus on pleasuring his partner, his endurance, his ability to swing between moods like masks, and his fear of being discarded after sex. His hang-ups about ‘Her’, whoever that was. 
Did she reject him due to sex? Punish him for it? 	
Clients. He said his ‘clients’ were usually older women. 
Chrysalis must have approached him as Harshwhinny to be a ‘client’. She hadn't charmed him; he had been paid. It was a performance. Adagio had been sleeping with a professional whore.
“I didn’t know, Buck. How could I have known?”
Buck looked over to see genuine sadness on Adagio's face.
“Don’t. Don’t you start pitying me.”
“Is that why you’re so afraid of being used? Is that why you keep letting yourself be used, regardless?”
Adagio’s mind slowed as her hand reached out to touch Buck’s cheek. She had shifted from pouty to angry to aroused and then to sorrowful in one argument, and she couldn’t tell if it was Buck’s aura affecting her or if she was simply in too deep to tell the difference between her emotions and his. 
All she knew was that she tasted an unfolding tragedy in Buck, and in that precious moment, in spite of her plans, her prejudice, and conventional wisdom, all she wanted to do was save him from it.
“You’ve been serving people for so long, Buck. You’ve been shamed and scarred for it, haven’t you?”
“Don’t you look down on me, Adagio.” Buck stared back at Adagio, defiance in his eyes.
“And you’re scared of devoting yourself to someone because you’re afraid they’ll spit you onto the ground like cheap gum. Used up.”
“If I didn’t have my magic, that’s exactly what you’d do.”
“If you didn’t have your magic, you would still have a place in my bed. In what way is it fair to repress such a marvelous skill? I would never dream of shaming you for it. Not like her."
Adagio's eyes flashed pink for just a moment. Her hands were gentle as they traced Buck's stubble. She saw his eyes shimmer with tears. 
“She’s doing her best.”
“Doing her best to ignore one of your finest features. But I would never ask you to hide, Buck. I want to see that thirsty little fiend that you keep locked up.”
“You don’t mean that. You're just trying to get one over on Ditzy.” He was fighting a smile.
“I bet you spoil her, like you always spoiled me. How long has it been since someone spoiled you, Buck?” His name was ambrosia on her tongue.
"You're just saying what I want to hear."
“Can you trust me enough to let me finish? Haven’t I earned the right to be heard out?”
“...fine. But you need to know that this is the last time I’m even going to entertain this.” Buck brushed Adagio’s hands away from his face, sitting back in his seat, crossing his arms.
“Do you remember our first night? You were such a gentleman...at first.”
“I remember.”
“I was trying to swallow you whole, Buck. But you were such a mouthful, it was overwhelming. You fit me just right, and I came harder than I had in generations spent in this miserable world. And then you decided that wasn’t enough.”
“Adagio, please.”
“So you flipped me over and you took me, Buck. You fucked me like you were trying to get me pregnant. I couldn’t be bothered to count how many times I climaxed just from your relentless, vicious pounding. And then you came, and it put the fear of all the gods in me. Because I knew I had found a feast that wouldn’t just satisfy me, but overflow me. It was simple, and shallow, but it was a bliss that I won’t ever forget, and I know you won’t either. Don’t you wish you could just toss away all the pretense, all the trauma, all of the pointless, wasteful shame and just do as you please?”
Buck turned away, but Adagio purred in his ear. 
“Don’t you miss being with someone that wants you as much as you want them?”
The door clicked. Buck was on his feet, halfway out of the car. Adagio held his hand.
“That’s enough.”
Buck yanked his hand away. His shame had won.  
He turned to walk away from Adagio. He wouldn’t even look at her, now. A part of her was glad for that, even as she rose from her seat to call for him, following his steps until she was just behind him.
“Are you just going to keep running away from me!?”
“It’s called being faithful!”
“To whom? Certainly not to yourself!”
“Stop playing games, Adagio!”
“I will, once you stop hiding from this!”
“From what!?”
“The person I know you want to be!”
“Do you know what I really want, Adagio?”
“Name it.”
And then Buck turned. Pink flames were flickering at the edges of his form. Adagio felt the urge to swim away and hide under a rock, but Buck’s terrible golden eyes had caught her again. 
“Do you remember the aquarium?” Buck said.
“How could I forget? The way you listened to me, the way you spoke to me, the way you fucked me, it was-”
“No.” The pink flames were in his eyes. A furnace igniting. A dragon roaring. It shook Adagio with its fury.
Buck stepped forward, and suddenly Adagio had run out of room. He was looming over her, a sun setting over the sea, and her back was against the wall. She wanted to give him the world. She wanted to take the world, with him. She wanted to run away with him.
“Not the boardwalk; the aquarium. Do you remember what I said to you before the fight?”
She’d never forget the blue glow of the water dancing across his face. The fullness of his lips. The heat of his breath against hers.
It was a simple message, one he had spent all day trying to deliver. In some ways, he had been trying to say it since they sat on that bench together across from his work. Adagio had denied it, over and over again, but he had said it to her in every tender embrace, every sweet nothing spoken in her ear, and every tiny gesture. 
He had been so patient with her.
Now Adagio’s eyes tried to slip away.
“What did I say to you, Adagio?”
“Stop it...”
She knew what he wanted. She had braved a burning building today, but this heat was more than she could take.
“What did I say?”
“Let me love you.” Adagio muttered.
“She loves me, Adagio. Despite everything, Ditzy Doo loves me. Can you say the same?”
“You’re not playing fair, Buck.” 
“This isn’t a game! I can’t sense your feelings, but you’ve known mine the whole time. Better than me, even. Did you ever feel the same? Even once?”
“I…well, our romance was, it was very whirlwind and chaotic, and I don’t think you can simplify it in such a-” Adagio mumbled.
“There’s no one here to judge us. It’s just you and me. You want me to stop pretending? You go first.”
He cupped her chin in that incredibly gentle way he always did. Adagio’s schemes dried up on her tongue. 
“I don’t…I…well, humans are, uhm…”
“You said that you’ve never lied to me. I want to believe you. Say it to me. Just this once.”
The honest, chain-bound voice in Adagio’s heart screamed in its distant dungeon. Adagio could barely hear it over her own frantic heartbeat.
Buck waited. He was so close to kissing her, begging her to give up the charade, to let her own mask fall, to be honest, finally.
Adagio’s eyes sank down to the ground with the setting sun.
The heat of Buck’s forge died as he stepped away.
“Buck?”
“Goodnight, Adagio.” 





By the time Buck made it home, the adrenaline had worn off. He was back to hurting everywhere. He got cleaned up, then stood in the shower, staring at the drain until the water got cold. After that, he sat on the couch for twenty minutes or maybe a year, trying to prepare himself for a second shouting match. 
He checked his mirror to make sure he didn’t have any fancies flying around his head. He regretted that decision as he saw the shiner that Burnt Oak had left on him. Wouldn’t be able to explain that at work. He’d have to call Sunburst to patch him up in the morning. He didn’t dare try to go over there with Adagio possibly waiting for him.
Once he unclenched his jaw and his fists, he headed next door. 
It was quiet. 
Not even the TV was on; all Buck heard was the sound of crickets coming from the copse of trees behind the apartments and Dinky chattering softly from the bedroom.
Buck shut the door, and Ditzy poked her head out of the bedroom.
“Oh! Welcome home, Buck.”
Despite everything, Ditzy managed to meet his eyes with one of hers.
“Hey, Muffin,” Buck said, bracing himself.
“Buck, I know today was…a lot, but would you mind doing Dinky’s hair for me? You’re better at it.”
“Huh? Yeah, of course.”
“Great! I’ll go ahead and heat something up for you. I bet you’re starving right now!” 
Buck felt pretty hollow in his stomach and his chest. It hadn’t occurred to him that he hadn’t eaten since this morning. 
“Uh, yeah!”
“And I’ll get some ice for your face, ‘kay? Your necklace is on the coffee table.”
Buck nodded and headed into the bedroom. Dinky was sitting on a stool in front of the bathroom mirror, a brush stuck in her wavy mop of hair.
“Hiya, Buck!” 
“Hey, Dink. You ready for bed?”
“Not yet! My hair’s being dumb!”
“Lemme see here…you’ve got knots, that’s all. Your hair is naturally wavy, so it kinks up more easily than your Mom’s. Pass me that comb?”
“Uh-huh!”
“You see what I’m doin’ here? You wanna comb downwards, like this. You don’t wanna hit your kinda texture with a brush, because it’ll make it tangle.”
“Okay, Buck!”
Dinky chatted with Buck as he automatically went through the process of tidying up her hair. It was about the only time in the day when she could sit still.
“Buck?”
“Dink?”
“How come you look all beat up?”
“Ah, I got into a game of tag that got a little too rough. Did you have fun at Uncle Sunbursts’ place?”
“Yeah! We read stories and did some drawings and had juice!”
“Good stuff, good stuff! Did you learn anything?”
“Hmm…wizards are funny, but Diamond Dogs are funnier, and they like to sing!”
“Oh yeah? Has Uncle Sunburst been reading you Tolkien again?”
“Yuh-huh! Hey, how come Tom Bombadil has horns and stuff?”
“He’s a draconequus, Dink.”
“What’s a drakwon…dark…con…?”
“Draconequus. It’s like a…like a magical thingy made of a bunch of animal parts. They make chaos, and they’re funny, and sometimes they’re dangerous. Sometimes they have the power to solve all the problems in a story, but then they just don’t. Magical thingies are like that, sometimes.”
Buck was now carrying Dinky to bed in her pj's. It was the same Skeletor shirt she wore to bed every night, which always managed to get a little chuckle out of Buck. 
“Buck?”
“Yeah, Dink.”
“Are you a papa?”
“Hah, no. I don’t have any kids.”
“But don’t old people have kids?”
“Hey now, I’m not that old!”
“You’re like a buh-million years old!”
“I’m 28, Dink. Do you know how old that is?”
“It’s closer to buh-million than 7!”
Buck heard Ditzy laugh in the living room. He shook his head and tucked Dinky in, a smile stuck on his face with glue.
“You know what? That’s fair.”
“I think you would be a good papa, Buck! You laugh a bunch, and you give good hugs, and you like to sit down, like the papas on TV!”
“That’s a really sweet thing to say, Dink. Are you good?” 
Dinky nodded and yawned.
“Okay. Goodnight, Dinky Doo.” Buck turned away but stopped short.
“Buck, I love you!” Dinky said it like she was reminding him to grab his keys. 
“Love ya, Dink.” Buck leaned down to hug the little girl, who squeezed him like she thought he would float away. “I’ll see 	you in the morning.” When Buck pulled away, Dinky was already out.
Buck returned to the living room and sat heavily on the couch. He heard Ditzy humming softly as she stirred a little pot on the stove.
“Did you hear that?” Buck tried.
“Mhm. You really are good with her, Buck. She doesn’t have a lot of guy figures in her life, so I’m glad she’s so attached to you.”
“Really? I know her Dad’s not around, but what about family?”
“You and me…we’re pretty much the only family she’s got. I’m kind of a black sheep.”
“Oh. You know, you don’t have to cook. I don’t think I have much of an appetite after today.”
“No you don’t, mister man. I’m not going to let you go to bed hungry. Besides, it’s no trouble; it’s just some ravioli I made for dinner.”
Ditzy placed a colorful little bowl filled with red sauce and pasta on the coffee table. It was definitely one of Dinky’s, but dinnerware was expensive, so it paid to reuse it.
Somehow, Ditzy was able to make canned ravioli taste like a legit gourmet meal.
“Can you take your shirt off?” Ditzy said.
“What?” Buck said.
“So I can take care of all your knicks and bangs. You got seriously knocked around today.” Ditzy said, setting down a little first aid kit she kept in the cabinet.
“Uh, sure, yeah.”
There was a shuffling of cloth and a little gasp from Ditzy. 
“Jeez, Buck. Maybe you should call in sick on Monday.”
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re all beat up! You’re covered in bruises, and-and scrapes!”
“Well damn, Ditzy. Who’s gonna cover me if I just disappear on Monday? Can’t be Scoots, with that leg, and you’re already workin’.”
“The Cakes could figure something out…there’s gotta be temps, or somethin’. You need to rest, anyway.”
“I can rest when I’m dead.”
“Well, I don’t want that to be this week, so you better start now,” Ditzy said, passing Buck a cloth full of ice. “Here. For your eye.” 
Buck sat facing Ditzy, watching as she meticulously treated his scrapes and cleaned off his bruises.
“You look like you did when you first came here.”
“Huh?”
“When you moved in. You were all messed up then, too.”
“Oh, yeah. It took me a long time to get back to myself.”
“I know the feeling,” Ditzy said. 
“I’m just glad my big sis was here to catch my dumbass when I fell. Man…if she knew I was getting in fights, she’d throw me out the window.”
“Huh-what? Sissy wouldn’t do that! She’s like the sweetest woman in the whole world!” 
“Wasn’t always. Took a long road to get to “Saint Sissy.” She was a fun-sized mcfuckin’ nightmare when we were kids. Y'ever wonder why I get so quiet? It’s 'cause she did enough yellin’ for the both of us.”
“Really? She always seems so reserved, uh, you know, when she’s not arguing or anything.”
“Uh-huh. Temper comes from my Mom’s side, I think.”
“Come on, Buck. You’re not an angry guy.”
“Nah, I am. I just don’t get angry at other people.” 
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothin’.”
“Have you called her lately?”
“Sis? Nah. I don’t like to call unless I’ve got good news.”
“...You think she’d freak out if she found out about us?”
“Little bit, definitely. Okay, maybe a lotta bit, but in a good way! She’d wanna throw a whole damn potluck.”
“Oh yeah, I can see it now. She’d invite everyone in the apartment, and  somehow they’d all come.”
“Probably thinkin’ it’s an engagement party, cause o’ the way she told it.”
“And then somehow it would all end in a dance, and everyone would go home with baked goods!”
“That’s my sis. Go big or go home.”
“She made me promise I’d look out for you, you know?”
“She did?”
“It was…I dunno. You showed up at the end of summer, and I was sorta..scared of you.”
“Yeah, that’s fair.”
“I mean, you showed up with bruises, and she said you’d gotten in trouble, and you seemed so out of it, and so intense, you know? And then one day, I had just gotten Dinky to sleep, and I heard you screaming, and I thought you snapped or something!”
“Oh, I know this one.”
“I ran over to make sure Sissy was safe, and she was holding you, and you were crying, and she was crying with you. What was she saying to you?”
“She was comforting me. She was saying; "It’s just a scar, but it’s going to hurt, and you never know when.”
“What does that mean?”
“She was talkin’ about trauma. Sometimes you get buried under all the shit that’s happened, and you forget how to feel. Then it just hits you. It was then, that day, when it all hit me at once.”
"Well, once you calmed down, she came over and said; "If anything happens to me, can you check in with him sometimes? She said you'd been through a lot."
"Sounds like her."
“What happened to you over in the Bay Area, Buck? Is it the reason you…you know?”
“I made a lot of mistakes, and one of them was working a bachelorette party when I really shouldn’t have.”
“She called me last week.”
“Yeah? Did you tell her any of…any of this?”
“No. That’s the thing about magic. You don’t wanna tell anyone what’s going on, because they’ll get involved, and then it just gets messier and messier.”
Buck didn’t have an answer for that. That was true in high school, and it was still true now. Magic meant secrets and trouble and hospital bills.
“She asked about you. She always does, you know?”
“What’d you say?”
“That you’re doing your best.” Ditzy’s forehead touched Buck’s.
The conversation they needed to have hung like an elephant-sized sword over Buck’s head, but Ditzy’s gentle hands and gentler scolding settled him into a comfortable quiet that he’d been looking for all day. 
He didn’t want to interrupt it, but if he didn’t say anything, the tension would just sit and fester until it stank up the room.
“...I think I’m going to get Sunburst to teach me magic from now on.” Buck managed.
“That’s good. What does Adagio think about that?”
“Doesn’t matter. I don’t think we’re gonna get any farther in my magic lessons. We’re not…I don’t wanna talk to her.”
“That’s good, too.”
“Ditzy, I know you’re mad at me. You don’t have to pretend like everything is fine. Please, just talk to me.” 
"Okay, okay...I'm mad because you knew she would mess with you, but you went to her anyway. She's bad news, Buck. You know that!"
"She's also the whole reason I have even a little control over my magic. She did actually help me, you know? I guess there's no point in analyzing it."
"She was right about one thing. We need to talk about your needs. Silver Spoon said basically the same thing."
"Okay?"
"I know I'm not exactly what gets you going…"
"Not true. Not true at all, very definitely the opposite."
"Well, I know I'm not sexy like Adagio."
"You don't have to be!"
"Will you let me talk, Purple Prose!?"
"Sorry."
"Okay. I get that you're not getting what you want, and it's good that you're not hanging out with Adagio, but I figured you could…I dunno, maybe coach me a little? Just, like, tell me what you want me to do?"
"You want me to take charge and direct you?"
"No, no, okay, maybe a little, sometimes, but, like…I've been busting my brain trying to figure out what you like, and how I'm supposed to get you off when you're way, WAY more experienced than me. I feel like I'm out of my league. I mean, you made me go crazy the first time, and it took me like forty minutes to get you there with my girls."
"Muffin, you're the one that's outta my league."
"There's gotta be something I can do that will work on you! I just…I'm struggling, because I've never really taken the initiative on this kind of thing. I don’t have a lot of experience.”
“We can try some stuff and see how it goes. I didn’t think you’d want to get all that adventurous because of your trauma. I don’t want you to think you have to cater to me in the bedroom. It’s really not that important.”
“Yes, it is! If you’re not getting what you need from me, then…then we need to figure out how to do that! You know?”
“Okay, if you’re sure.”
“I am.” Ditzy hugged Buck, tightly, her face against his neck. It hurt a bit with Buck’s bruises, but he didn’t want to complain. She really was trying her hardest. The last of the tension finally left Buck’s body, and he slumped down, laying back on the couch with Ditzy in tow.
“Ow,” Buck said.
“You okay?”
“I hurt. But I’m relieved! I really thought you were gonna yell at me.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Yes I did. I almost did, I mean. That’s basically the same thing.”
“No it’s not! I know that Adagio is…well, you know, she’s a bunch of stuff, and I know you still like her, okay? And you know how I feel about that, but it’s not your fault that you’re in this situation. Anybody would be tempted…but you chose not to do anything bad, so that has to count for something. It…I was mad at first, but thinking about it, I think you’ve come a long way.”
“From when you kissed me for the first time?”
“Y…yeah.”
“That was naughty, Muffin.”
“It, well, that was, I was jealous, and you were just, really warm and sweet, and she’s so mean and I didn’t think about it, and it just sort of happened, okay?”
“I know, I know. I was there. You’re a good kisser. You reminded me of that, today.”
Buck was stroking her hair now. Ditzy sighed under Buck’s gentle fingers trailing against her scalp. She wondered if he practiced this and if he’d be mad if she asked.
“So…?”
“What?”
“Are you going to tell me?”
“About?”
“About s…sex…stuff. What do you want me to do?”
“Right now?”
“Do you have, uhm…do you have fetishes?”
“Mother of mercy, you’re adorable. Yeah, I’ve got fetishes, Muffin. Too many to count on one hand.”
“Ohh…okay, is there anything I can do to get you going?”
“You get me goin’ just by being nearby.”
“Come on, Buck! Tell me what to do! What do you want in the bedroom?”
“I guess I’ve never really thought about what I’d want.”
“Really?”
“Well, that’s not true. I guess what I mean is, I didn’t think any girl would care enough to ask.”
“Wow, seriously?”
“Wanna know a secret?”
“...okay.”
“A lot of the straight girls I’ve been with have been pretty inexperienced, too. They get socialized to just let the guy do what they want, so a lot of 'em just, like…lay there if you don’t direct them, and that’s pretty boring.”
Ditzy turned her body to look at Buck, blushing furiously.
“So…I’m pretty normal then?”
“Yeah, totally.”
“That’s a relief. Is there something I can do to excite you?”
“You could tell me I’m handsome.”
“Huh?”
“...Do you think I’m handsome?”
“Of course!”
“Okay, see, I didn’t know that.”
“How could you not know that?”
“You didn’t tell me! I thought you liked me because of my personality since I’m not the best looking.”
“You’re very handsome, though! Just look in the mirror! I mean, not right now, but you know what I mean!”
“No, it’s like…you know how it’s really annoying when dudes try to flatter you, and call you the hottest thing in the 	world?”
“Yep.”
“For guys, it’s the opposite. Nobody ever says straight guys look good. Ever. So those of us with low self-esteem, we just don’t know if we’re attractive or not, because nobody ever tells us.”
“Okay…so, you want me to say you’re attractive. I can do that.”
“Can you?”
“It's...words, you know? But I’ll try my best.”
“Okay.”
Buck sat up, waiting expectantly. After a second, Ditzy blinked and sucked in her lips, trying to focus.
“...I don’t know what to say.”
Buck laid back, looking at the ceiling.
“I guess that makes sense. I sure as hell don’t look pretty tonight.”
“That’s not true! Even sorta roughed up, you’re still you!”
“So what?”
“So…so…I think…you’re…pretty hunky!”
“Hunky?” Buck chuckled.
“Your muscles are sorta impressive! When you flex, they look really big! And…sometimes, when you’re getting ready for bed and you’re in your boxers, I look at your calves and like…wow.”
“Wow, huh?”
“And you’re hairy!”
“Okay?”
“It’s kinda manly, I dunno…” Ditzy tried to disappear against Buck’s neck, but he sat up, smiling.
“Is it?”
“You’re like the most…man sorta guy that I know! You’re really strong, and when you squeeze me, it gets me kinda…	tingly.”
“Like when we hug? Or like right now?”
Ditzy’s eyes darted around, her expression distressed. 
“Okay. That’s interesting. Here’s another one; I like that you touch me gently. I think you touch everyone gently, but you kind of pet me like a dog sometimes, and I like that, a lot.” Buck said.
“Yeah?” Ditzy said.
“I’m kind of starved for physical affection. That’s another guy thing, but also it’s a me thing. I’m not used to getting cuddles. Adagio isn’t the cuddly type, really, and I really like that you put your hands on me.”
“I knew it! So it’s not annoying when I touch you a bunch?”
“Not at all. I like it a lot. Especially that thing where I’m sitting down, and you just put your tits on me, from behind. That’s the best thing ever.”
“Okay, I’ll touch you with my boobies a bunch more! And…you could touch them more, too…okay?”
“Those’re really sensitive. You sure?”
“Yes!” Ditzy practically shouted it, then immediately covered her mouth. “I mean…I don’t like being surprised. You know that, so don’t…don’t do it out of nowhere. But when you’re hugging me? When we’re cuddling? If you want to maybe…touch them sometimes? Maybe, maybe get your hands under my shirt and play around? If I don’t want that, I’ll say no, but don’t be scared to touch them. I want you to.”
“You want me to stick my hands in your shirt?”
Ditzy nodded.
“Yes. Absolutely.”
“Now you do one!” Ditzy said.
“You know how you kissed me, today? You were pretty aggressive.”
“Yeah?”
“I want more of that.”
“You know I’m not really nasty like that…”
“It’s not nasty. It makes me feel wanted. I really need that.”
“I think I know what you mean…”
“Ditzy?” 
“Yeah, Buck?”
“Do you wanna try it? Before we go to bed?”
"Okay!" Ditzy sat up, bouncing just a bit with excitement, smiling.
Buck leaned forward suddenly, and Ditzy closed her eyes. She giggled like a teenager, and her enthusiasm splashed onto Buck's face. He took Ditzy by the hand and watched the blush spread as he got closer.
"Hey…Ditzy?"
"Hm?"
"I love you, Ditzy Doo." 
"I love you, too."
Buck kissed the corner of her mouth. Ditzy made a soft whine, almost disappointed, but Buck planted tender little pecks on her cheek, drifting away until she squeezed his hand and came for his lips.
Ditzy's kisses were giddy, filled with the sort of excitement that comes with stealing from a cookie jar. Like she was doing something sort of bad but was beyond caring. Her man was here, and she wanted him to know how she felt; that was all that mattered.
When Buck came up for air, Ditzy's hands were on his wrists, encouraging him to touch her chest.
For once, Buck didn't have to think about it. Before he could begin to worry, Ditzy was kissing him again, laying back on the couch, whispering softly against his lips that he could be a little rougher. 
“No bra…?” Buck said, hands wandering under Ditzy’s shirt. His fingers sunk into the plush heaven hiding just behind the thin cloth, feeling Ditzy’s pulse quicken with each little squeeze.
“I was going to go to bed!” Ditzy blurted. Buck brushed her nipples with his fingertips, drawing out a precious squeak.
“You sure about that?” Buck growled, nipping at Ditzy’s neck. 
“Maybe I wanted you to notice…”
“Hard not to notice these stickin’ out.”
It had been a little while. Buck tried to remember what he learned before. Instead of pinching, Buck rolled Ditzy’s nipples between his thumbs and forefingers, then pressed down on them tenderly.
“Eeeeek!” Ditzy shivered and moaned against Buck’s ear.
“Is that good, Muffin?” Buck said. Ditzy’s back arched, pushing her breasts against Buck’s hands. She nodded frantically as Buck teased her. “I’m sorry? Can you say it a little louder?”
“It’s good! It’s good! Please don’t stop!” Ditzy moaned.
“You want me to squeeze ‘em some more?”
“Yes!”
Buck squished Ditzy’s breasts together and slid his hands all over them. Every time his fingers brushed her nipples, she shook and squeaked. Her thin lips came forward and kissed him again in an attempt to muffle the rising moans, but Buck could see Ditzy hanging on to the edge of the couch, shifting her thighs, trying to keep it together. 
She tasted so sweet, Buck wondered if she’d taken a treat from work home. Buck hoped that this treat he was giving her would make her happy. She deserved a nice night after the day they’d both had.
Buck spun his thumbs around Ditzy’s nipples, seeing how soft and fast he could go before she got to the edge. The little sounds she made against his lips, her frantic kisses, and the whisper of Buck’s name in his ear was everything in the world to him. This strong, soft woman who wanted so badly to take care of him, this family he had found in spite of everything wrong with him. 
Ditzy's gentle moans got louder as Buck prodded, squeezed, and caressed. It felt so good to be needed.
“Buck…wait. Stop.” Ditzy said.
Buck flinched away immediately. His hands came out from Ditzy’s nightshirt and rose in defense. Apologies gathered at his lips before he could even ask what was wrong.
“Sorry. I’m sorry!”
“Huh? No, no! That was really good!” Ditzy said, taking Buck’s hands. “I just…I don’t want to be the only one feeling good, you know?”
“Ah.”
“Can I ask you for one more thing?”
“Anything. Name it.”
“Is there something you want to do?”
“Me?”
“Yeah! I mean, you know what’s off-limits, but, is there anything you want to do to me?” Ditzy started the sentence confident, but she slowed and trailed off as she reached the end of it, blushing bright red and smiling nervously.
“Butt stuff.” Buck said.
“Wha-no! I don’t wanna, well, maybe if we…no!” Ditzy stammered.
“Okay, don’t worry about it.” Buck chuckled, scratching his head.
“Anything else?”
“...well there is another thing, and it’ll still involve lube. Lemmie go grab some.” Buck got up, and when he returned, he had a clear-colored bottle in his hand.
“Why do you have that?” Ditzy said, bewildered.
 	Buck just raised an eyebrow at her.
“Okay, dumb question, sorry.”
“Hey, hey, that’s alright. I’m not mad.” Buck said, kissing Ditzy on the forehead.
“So, what did you want to do?”
“Can you lay back for me?”
“Like this?”
Buck smiled as Ditzy shuffled down, her head resting on the arm of the couch. 
“Remember what you did last time? I wanna take charge, this time.”
“Do you want me to…?”
“No, no, you’re good, let me just….”
Ditzy fidgeted as Buck unbuttoned her nightshirt. Somehow, even though this was the third time, Ditzy’s round, beautiful breasts caught Buck off guard. For a moment, he got lost in fondling them all over again, smirking as Ditzy squirmed.
“Buck…please…!”
“Right, right! This might be a little cold, okay?”
Ditzy flinched as Buck squirted a slippery, coconut-smelling liquid between her breasts. Buck put one foot on the ground and straddled Ditzy, lightly slapping his cock against her breasts.
“Now, can you squish’em together?” Buck said.
Ditzy tried to press her breasts together, but they kept slipping out of her grasp. She put her hands together at the bottom of her neck and squeezed her breasts with her arms.
“Is this okay?”
“That’s perfect…I’m gonna start moving, alright?”
“Mhm…gosh, you’re hard.”
“Issat a surprise, when my girlfriend is so damn hot?”
Ditzy smiled and turned her head away, shutting her eyes while Buck rolled his hips slowly. 
Buck was still sore, but the feeling of his cock rubbing between Ditzy's breasts overrode the pain. Every slip of Buck’s dick in Ditzy's incredibly soft, pillowy clutch brought out a little hum, but that wasn’t enough for Buck. He needed her to feel it, too.
Ditzy covered her mouth. Buck had picked up the pace, and now his cock was making a squelching noise. He was rubbing Ditzy’s nipples in circles. Right on time with his pace. Ditzy moaned into her hand as he gave her the slightest pinch.
“Hey…mmm…fuck…hey, hey, Muffin? Why do you always look away when we do this stuff? Am I makin’ you nervous?” Buck said.
“No…no, it’s my eyes. I don’t want you to go soft just because my eyes are all donked up.” 
“Ditzy, look at me.” Buck said, slowing down.
Ditzy shook her head.
“It’s not a big deal.”
“C’mere.” Buck took Ditzy by the chin and made her face him. One of her eyes darted down and saw Buck’s purple cock head poking out between her cleavage, gently touching her joined fingers, and she nearly turned away again, but Buck stroked her cheek and smiled down at her.
“I know this’s a weird time to say it, but you’re beautiful, Ditzy. Your eyes are beautiful. I want you to look at me, okay? I want you to be here with me, in this moment.” 
Before tonight, Buck could’ve sworn Ditzy couldn’t blush any deeper than she already had. Now it looked like steam would start piping from her ears at any second.
Ditzy gave a small nod, her words failing her.
“I’m gonna go a little faster, alright?”
“Mhm!”
Buck humped Ditzy’s breasts harder and faster, watching Ditzy bite her lip. He savored every tiny reaction as he tugged on her nipples. Despite all of his training, he could feel himself edging up to an explosive finish.
“Buck? Does it feel good?”
“You feel….you feel ffffucking amazing, Muffin.”
“...you can go faster. You can do whatever you want, okay?”
Buck groaned and went even harder at it, watching Ditzy’s breasts jiggle with each heavy thrust. He steadied himself with a hand on the couch’s back, and let his hips take over.
He never wanted to stop. He wanted to do this before bed and when he woke up in the morning. He wanted to bury himself inside Ditzy Doo. He wanted to pull on her hair and slap her ass. He wanted to take Adagio by the fucking ankles and pound her so fucking hard-
Buck blinked. 
He was right there. Right on the edge, his strokes slowing down, trying to savor the slippery pillows that were crushing his cock. He had almost made another mistake. He focused on Ditzy’s pale yellow eyes, the parting of her lips, her gentle moans.
Here was everything he needed, right beneath him, and he had the audacity to think of…
“Buck? Are you close?”
“Fuck…yeah, Muffin, I’m real close!”
“C-can, can I ask you for one more thing?”
“Now!? Y-yeah! Of course! God damn….god you feel so fucking good!”
“You always…you’re always trying to take care of me here, and…just once, just this once, can you look at me the way you look at Adagio?”
Buck came to a dead stop.
“Huh!?”
“You always look so thirsty with her. When you were together, you always looked like at any moment you would, you know…pounce? Can you get like that for me? Please?”
Buck wanted to argue, and reassure her. He wanted to remind her that she was beautiful and unique, and she didn’t need to measure up to anybody.
But that’s what was going on in the head on his shoulders. Another head, currently being sandwiched between two slices of heaven, had other plans.
“Move your hands down and squeeze harder.” Buck said. Ditzy immediately obeyed, pressing down on the sides of her breasts with her knuckles.
Buck let out a hissing breath and rammed his hips forward. Ditzy gasped as he pinched her nipple. 
From Ditzy’s perspective, it was like a switch had flipped in Buck’s head. His eyes turned sharp and thirsty, and his tender concern slid into a grin that made her burn up between her legs. Ditzy could swear she saw a flash of red, but her eyes darted down and she saw the changeling stone necklace dangling from Buck’s neck. She was safe.
Before long, Ditzy was moaning right along with him as he rocked her whole body with each thrust.
“You’re too….fucking…cute!” Buck growled. “You tryna make me cum right now? Want me to cum all over that pretty 	face?”
It was like the first time he ever jerked off. It was like his first proper night with Her. It was like his first night with Adagio.	Blood was rushing into his brain, banishing any sense and filling his head with fuck. 
“I…I want you to cum, Buck!”
“FfffUCK!” 
It was over in an instant. Buck had a hand on Ditzy’s head, howling as he unloaded a fat wad of cum all over her face and neck. Buck’s cock bounced free of Ditzy’s cleavage, and he pumped it frantically, squirting out his whole damn soul on Ditzy.
When Buck finally caught his breath and rubbed the orgasmic haze out of his eyes, he saw Ditzy laying beneath him, one eye peaking out from the spunk that was painting her. 
“Geez…you really made a mess of me.” Ditzy said. 
“Didn’t think I had it in me, huh?” Buck chuckled.
“Didn’t think there would be so much!” Ditzy laughed.
“Phew, yeah…feel like I can fit into a new pair of boxers, now!”
“...Buck?”
“Yeah, Muffin?”
“Can you get off me? I need to wipe this gunk off my face.”
“Oh, yeah, right! Sure thing.”
Buck dismounted and offered Ditzy a hand up. Even with jizz dribbling down her chin, Ditzy managed to seem dainty and adorable as she went to the kitchen.
Buck couldn’t help but watch her as she moved. The subtle bounce of her unbound breasts, the slope of her violin hips, the sudden rigidness that came over her as she almost stumbled, it all came together to form a charm he knew he’d never find again in a million years.
Ditzy looked back from the sink with a clean face and a goofy smile. She still seemed a little uncertain about the night, or maybe something else was on her mind.
There was still just one thing on Buck’s mind, however, and he rose to make it known.
“Hey, Ditzy?”
“Yeah, Buck?”
“Is that what turns you on? When I get greedy?”
“I! I dunno, I guess I never thought about it that much…it’s just nice to, uh…to just let you have control! It’s pretty hot…you know?”
“You are such a sub.” Buck smiled, shaking his head. He was around the couch now.
“It was just a little experiment! Don’t make fun!” Ditzy huffed.
“Oh yeah? So the experiment’s over?” Buck said, taking a step closer as Ditzy dried her face. 
“I mean, you came, so uh…”
“But you didn’t. So we’re not done.” Buck said. His hands touched Ditzy’s hips. Strong and firm, but gentle.
“Hm?” Ditzy felt a hard heat against her butt, then a breath against her ear. She froze up as Buck’s fingers slid around to her stomach.
“Lemmie make a lil’ bit more fun, Muffin.”
Those big purple hands moved down and gave Ditzy a shiver.
“What’re you gonna do, Buck?”
“I wanna eat my Muffin. I wanna make her scream.”
“Okay, Buck…”
“Turn around. Look at me.”
Ditzy obeyed with hesitation. Buck saw her knees turning in as his hand covered hers on the countertop.
“Do you want this?”
“...yes!” Ditzy squeaked.
And then her arms were around Buck’s neck, while Buck’s hands groped her ass. Her kisses were desperate and needy, and before long, Ditzy found herself with her back against the refrigerator while Buck dropped to his knees, yanking her pyjama bottoms down.
Ditzy moaned and giggled as Buck’s tongue trailed up her inner thigh. He slung her leg over his shoulder and got to work without a moment’s hesitation, lapping at her clitoris with total abandon. 
“Okay…okay…you’re…really going at it down there…!” 
“Mmmhm!” Buck’s dug his tongue into Ditzy, swirling it, drinking her in without thought to technique or rhythm. Ditzy found herself lost, rambling as she watched Buck’s head bounce between her thighs, caught in his intense stare.
“Buck? What’re you, ooh!” Buck put Ditzy’s other leg over his shoulder, and suddenly she was up in the air, holding on to the edges of the fridge at her back as Buck lifted her on his shoulders. “Oh gosh! Oh…ohhhh gosh!”
Buck's licking only got faster and more intense. Ditzy was rising like she had the first time Buck got between her legs. Her brain fried in the heated space between excitement and arousal and joy, hanging on to the world for fear that she might fall into the sky.
Ditzy’s moans turned into high squeaks and then screams as she crashed headfirst into an intense orgasm.
Buck didn’t slow down for a second, his tongue twirling around Ditzy’s clitoris as she pulled at his hair, her thighs shaking as they squeezed his face, and she thought then that it was fine. 
They were going to be fine, all they had to do was talk a little, and they could figure this out. He wanted her so badly! What had she even been worried about? 
Ditzy was overflowing with love and joy, but then, between crashing waves of pleasure, she opened her eyes. 
A strange, multicolored glow was in the room. 
From the reflection of the TV, Ditzy could see a pair of fluffy wings had sprouted from her back. She squealed, trying to find words as Buck’s tongue dug deep inside her. It felt so impossibly good and so horribly wrong, but Ditzy was caught between chest-rattling gasps. Her heartbeat, already hammering, skipped a beat as she tried to come back to reality.
There was something hard and smooth between her fingers. Ditzy looked down. 
It was purple, like Buck’s skin, and it was long, curved, and stubby at the end, protruding from his forehead like the handle on a ship’s wheel.
Ditzy saw a faint red glow coming from Buck’s eyes as his tongue continued its work, and as another orgasm shattered her senses, Ditzy began to panic.
“Wait…wait, Buck! Wait!”
And he stopped. Buck retracted his tongue, which seemed quite a bit longer than Ditzy remembered, and he looked up at her. His expression was a tender concern, but his eyes were furious red coals.
Ditzy screeched in terror, screaming for Buck to put her down, to let her go--to get away from her.
“No, no, no DON’T TOUCH ME!”
“Ditzy, what’s wrong? What did I do!?”
“What did you do!? Look at your face!” Ditzy shouted, pointing at the TV, and Buck’s heart sank as he turned to look.
A demon looked back.
“Wait, wait, that doesn’t make sense! I’m wearing the necklace! That’s not-”
“STAY AWAY!”
Ditzy’s bedroom door slammed in Buck’s face. 
There was nothing to be said, and nothing to be done. Buck held a scream in his chest and turned to leave. He squeezed the stone hanging from his neck and felt a prick.
His hand came away bloody. What had been a nearly flawless marble had a deep fissure down its side.
Buck distantly thought it must have been the fight, it must have cracked between the hammer and the fist, but it didn’t matter.
He knew this was his fault.
Buck shuffled off to his apartment, searching for a sleep that simply would not come.





Across town, Starlight Glimmer laid back on the couch, flipping slowly through a leatherbound book with a swirling pattern of grey stars on the front. 
“Sunburst, do you know anything about undead?”
“Not really, to be honest. Something as nasty as that is probably in the “forbidden” category of arcane academia. We would need to special order, if we can get any access at all.”
“Well, if we can’t get a grasp of what we’re up against and figure out their weakness, our uphill battle is just going to get steeper and steeper.”
“We can worry about that in the morning. We’ve got plenty of information to digest from the day’s events and I think we should use tomorrow to recover before we double down. Since Scootaloo is going to be out of commission for a week at the very least, we have to weigh our options and decide what the next step is.”
“I can’t believe I got benched after my first day as an intern!” Scootaloo said, crossing her arms.
“You did fantastic, Scoots. Considering how you performed out there, I’d be surprised if the Pillars don’t call you in the next day or so to sign you up properly.” Sunburst said.
“You mean it!?”
“He does. And so do I, though I have some critiques.” Starlight said.
“I’m sure Buck will have some valuable insights, since he and Ditzy were the ones to actually beat your assailant back. Whenever they get back, we can debrief, and that will be it for tonight.” Sunburst said.
There was a knock on the door.
“Speak of the devil…could you get that? I’m exhausted.” Starlight said, nodding at Sunburst, who was already on his feet.
“I was honestly getting worried! What took you so long?” Sunburst said, with a bright smile on his face as he opened the door. 
That warm welcome died like a covered candle as Sunburst saw the look on Adagio’s face. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her raised chin and bitter frown told him more about her evening than Sunburst wanted to ask.
“...where’s Buck?”
“We’re not on speaking terms at the moment.” Adagio said and strolled right past Sunburst, taking a seat on the arm of the couch. 
“What did you do to him?” Starlight growled.
“We had a little heart to heart, and neither of us liked where it went. He went home to be with his house spouse.” Adagio rolled her eyes, refusing to look at anything in particular. “That’s the bad news. The good news is that I’m quite certain I know what our mysterious friends are after. Before you bumble into a counter attack, I need some critical information. Tell me everything you know about Camp Everfree.”
> ((Explicit)) Chapter 30 - I'll Just Dance (Su Lee)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The moments just before dawn cast the tall, flowering ash trees of Center Park in a pale grey light. The world was still asleep, save for the earliest birds. 
The air rippled like a disturbed pond. With a whining whoosh, space tore apart, revealing a void of twinkling stars. The trees bent in, then pushed away from the rift before the space corrected its shape with a low fizzle.
Eyes all around witnessed a small invasion of sharp teeth and clawed feet entering the human world. Those same eyes rose into the sky as a flock and flitted off toward the southwest as the embers of dawn lit up the Canterlot skyline.



	

Meanwhile, in a little tugboat, on a choppy sea, a lone man stood stoic against the cold.
It was mid-morning, or so the ship’s clock said. In truth, there was no way to tell how long the sun had been up.
All captains feel lonely at the helm, or so it's said. In truth, this particular captain had been standing out in the blinding, cold mist for so long that he couldn’t feel much of anything besides the stinging of his fingers and the rumbling of his stomach.
The captain knew from his heading that he’d have to hit land at some point before he starved. He hoped he would see the shoreline before it ground his keel into flinders.
Suddenly, there was a ringing. It sounded like the echo of a church bell, but gentler, warbling across the waves to caress the captain’s ears; haunting and seductive.
The captain’s hands spun the wheel without a moment’s thought. He knew the stories well enough to understand the mistake he was about to make, but if he was hearing songs at sea, he must be well and truly lost. 
         The captain had to make a decision for his ship, or the tides would make it for him.
The anchor scraped across the wet deck, then plunked heavily into the dark waves. The ship stopped without a sound, while the melody got louder and clearer.
It whispered pillow talk promises, bringing the captain to a blazing space he had almost forgotten. A fool would have dove into the drink, swimming for the sweet salvation of pleasant company, but the captain was a special breed of idiot. He was not a man accustomed to making things easy.
A squeeze of lemon, a pinch of salt, a flagon of rainwater, and the captain’s voice rasped back to life. The song called to him more insistently. He could hear a devilish smile behind the tune. Sharp teeth, red eyes.
Feet planted at the bow of the ship, hands clutching the railing, the lonely captain took in a salty breath of air, knowing that whatever dark fate took him would be nothing short of deserved.
After all, what kind of fool hears the song of a siren and dares to sing back?





“This is fucking stupid.” Buck grumbled. His eyes were about as red as the skyline outside his window.
Saturday had finally limped painfully into Sunday, and despite the glow of the rising sun over Canterlot, things didn’t look better.
Over the course of the night, Buck had gone through all the usual paces of blaming himself, blaming the universe, blaming Adagio, blaming magic, then blaming himself again. He’d gotten tired of examining the grievances rattling around in his brainpan, so he resolved to use the sleepless hours productively, staring at a blank document until words finally stained the canvas.
What he’d written was the start of a story with the emotional depth of a thimble, disappointingly clear in its inspiration. Buck turned away from his laptop, trying to escape any thoughts about the previous night’s events, only for his eyes to fall on the long pink scarf that Ditzy had made for him, sitting on his coffee table.
Buck worried that if he left it there, he might stain it with coffee or something else, so he reverently picked it up and moved it to the closet.
The term was demonification. He had “felt” too hard while he was with Ditzy, and he’d started changing. Because his spell source was “passion”, it must’ve meant that giving in to that passion put him at risk of transforming.
So what was he supposed to do? Just not feel horny? That was hilariously impossible. Rely on his necklace? It was cracked, which meant at any moment, if his over-emotional ass slipped up the slightest bit, everyone around him was in danger.
This must’ve been Adagio’s plan all along; funnel all of Buck’s focus into his horniest urges so he would need to be drank or risk losing control. The game was rigged from the start.
“That can’t be it. She was trying to help you, you fucking idiot. S’not her fault that you’re made outta boner energy.”
Buck went back to his laptop, highlighted what he’d written so far, and deleted it. It was a crap document, anyway. 
“What’s happening today?”
Buck rose painfully from his seat and headed downstairs. Maybe if he settled into monotonous morning shit, he’d be too numb to freak out about the state of his love life.
Trash out, mail brought in. No appetite, so no need for breakfast.
Buck tore open a letter and found a looming apocalypse waiting for him. A familiar worry that he could use to procrastinate. Buck lifted his laptop and paced the floor.
The rent was coming up, and boy was it coming up. That is to say, it was jumping again, and combining it with his college debt, his internet, streaming services, and other odds and ends…well, Buck consulted his laptop calculator and found fresh terror as he counted beans.
It was time to decide between food and rent again.
Buck’s eyes drifted instinctually to the glass jar he kept on a stool by the door. He couldn’t. He couldn’t sacrifice a dream for survival. If he crossed that line, he may as well admit that the city had beaten him. It might be time to pull on some old strings and see about another job. As long as it wasn’t…most of the employers he’d burned through last year, and he knew someone on the team, he might have a shot at a callback.
A small one. Maybe Saff was hiring again?
There was so much that Buck had to account for. He had to write a list, so he reached for a phone that was currently in pieces in a burnt-down building.
Buck slapped his forehead and immediately regretted it, dwindling down onto the couch with a groan. 
“Another fucking hit. I wonder if my provider has ‘crazy fucker in a stetson’ insurance.”
Unless Buck got his hands on a side gig and soon, he’d be back to square one.
“I could sell some shit, I guess…but probably not fast enough to catch rent. Maybe an article?”
Buck scrolled through his emails. The buzz about him being seen with a celebrity had fallen off; that was a plus. Not much of anything at all. No requests. He’d have to do the usual dance of groveling around for some sort of hot topic to bullshit about, but there was no guarantee that he’d get anything out of it. Another dead end.
Sis was still on her honeymoon. Mom probably didn’t have much to spare. Buck did not want to lean on ‘the business’ again. The last time he did that, that Harshwhinny lady really did a number on him, and that’s nothing to say about the sheer fucking shame of it.
He’d have to make something happen to make ends meet, he just wasn’t sure what the something would be. 
Somehow, the numb angst of poverty was more manageable now. Buck supposed it was better than getting bodied in a burning building or trying not to turn into a demon.
Maybe magic bullshit had an upside after all; it made every other problem seem smaller.
A knock on the door shook Buck straight off the couch. It had to be Ditzy, right? He had scared her, sure, but they were together, and they were really starting to communicate, so it made sense that she would come and talk to him, just like she did last night.
Buck slapped his chest, making sure the necklace was still around his neck, before running to the door. He had an apology ready, and while he definitely still looked a mess, he was sure that Ditzy wouldn’t hold it against him.
Buck opened the door and the smile dropped off his face.





The previous night, Sunburst and Starlight looked at each other, wondering what exactly they were allowed to say. 
After explaining what she had learned after the interrogation, Adagio sat patiently on the arm of Sunbursts’ couch. Scootaloo looked back and forth at Adagio’s face, then Sunburst and Starlight’s, fidgeting and scratching around the splint on her leg.
“...it’s this summer camp to the north of town. Students at Canterlot High always go there for their senior trip. I got to go during my senior year, and so did Buck during his!” Scootaloo blurted.
“Scootaloo! You can’t just go tossing around information like that!” Starlight said.
“Why not? She could just google the name and get basically the same answer!”
“Honestly, are you still not convinced that I’m on your side? After all we’ve been through together?”
Adagio’s typical snark poked through her sullen expression. For Starlight, it was nearly a relief.
“She has a point. If we’re going to work together on this, we may as well collaborate fully. We’re outnumbered as it is!” Sunburst said.
Starlight let out a drawn-out sigh.
“Camp Everfree is protected by The Pillars Organization. It’s owned and managed by a guy named Timber Spruce. Though his sister Gloriosa Daisy co-owns the land, she’s been in and out of hospice care in the last few years.” Starlight said.
“I assume those are the “sprouts” that our zombified friend mentioned,” Adagio said.
“Why do you think that?” Starlight said.
“Buck confessed that he lost his virginity at Camp Everfree while ‘all that magic shit went down’. He’s never talked much about how magic has affected him before meeting me, so I surmised it must have been a significant event. Comparing that to other ludicrous magical anomalies that I know have occured around Canterlot, it seems to be the only one that’s happened miles away from the city limits, so there must have been a rift to Equestria at the site, or some independent source of power.”
“How did you-” Starlight began.
“An independent source that must be in the form of crystals. Did you think I wouldn’t notice the logo on the ‘Everfree’ branded quartz that you cast with?”
“That’s fair.” Sunburst nodded, while Starlight balked.
“So the ‘heaps of power’ mentioned by that ghoul must be at Camp Everfree.” Adagio said.
“Not necessarily. While the Rainbooms gained their ‘Geode Powers’ from Everfree gems, the land has been checked for magical properties repeatedly, with no mana signatures cropping up since the Rainbooms left. The cave where these gems come from is warded and guarded, but it’s functionally powerless.” Sunburst said.
“In theory,” Adagio said. “But who’s to say a hidden power couldn’t be unlocked there a second time? If the chances were zero, they wouldn’t guard the land at all. What exactly caused the generation of these so-called Geode Powers?”
“That’s classified.” Starlight said.
Adagio frowned.
“We…don’t actually know.” Sunburst said, to Starlight’s obvious chagrin. “Timber Spruce never gave The Pillars permission to explore the cave for fear of new magical flare-ups.”
“Then our cloaked friends must know something that the Pillars don’t about the nature of that place. And if the land is in danger of being bought out, the buyer might be less cautious about the cave.”
“That’s another problem. We don’t know who’s trying to scoop up the land.” Starlight said.
“But you said the land is warded, correct? And we can assume our foes are operating at a mana deficit, so they can’t break the defenses in place. For now, at least.”
“Right.” Sunburst said. 
As Sunburst, Starlight, and Adagio went back and forth, Scootaloo slumped in her seat and started scrolling on her phone, quickly growing bored.
“Well, considering what we know, getting to Camp Everfree is likely off the table. If the surrounding lands are being haunted by malicious forces, it would be needlessly risky to travel through in order to garrison the campgrounds.”
“So what do you suggest we do?” Sunburst said.
“I suggest that we strike quickly and decisively. Today’s attack was very coordinated, but I don’t think all of the events were planned. Dividing us with different targets seemed like a sound strategy, but the robbery of your supplier sounded a bit slapdash. Almost as if it was a last-minute power grab. A certain ‘queen’ is getting desperate.”
“You think Chrysalis sent in her goons under the cloak’s noses?”
“It fits her duplicitous M.O. She’s a compulsive scavenger, constantly looking for ways to filch a little more magic. We know that she was negotiating with the cloaks for surplus mana, and was given short shrift in the exchange.”
“And she must be burning through a lot of mana to provide extra muscle for the cloaks. But its spread thin, considering how temporary her changeling grunts have been,” Starlight said. 
“Which also means she’s likely very weak. She can’t horde the mana to herself if she’s giving it to her disgusting spawn. A prime target for us, in other words.” Adagio said.
“Sunburst, can you read into that bestiary entry on changelings? Anything you can find would be useful.” Starlight said.
“Sure, but we still have to find Chrysalis before we have any chance of taking her down, and changelings are notoriously hard to track.” Sunburst said.
“Not for me. I’ve managed to get a fairly complete profile on the flavor of their mana. It’s elusive and disgusting, but at a certain range, I am absolutely able to track it.”
“Really? You have their mana signature memorized!? How is that possible?” Starlight sat up, smiling excitedly.
“I have a very discerning palate.” Adagio said, tossing her hair.
“That’s excellent! Sunburst and I just figured out a new way to hone in on mana signatures at a far distance! If we cast the ritual together…”
“We should have no problem locating Chrysalis! We have a shot at this!” Sunburst finished.
“Do you see what happens when you actually cooperate with me? Progress in leaps and bounds.” Adagio said, smugly.
“But…Scootaloo is out of commission.” Starlight said.
“I can still fight!” Scootaloo said.
“No, you can’t, and you shouldn’t besides. You’re going to be down for a little while; not much we can do about that unless you can learn telekinesis in the next few days. It wouldn’t be smart to just charge in with just the three of us, either. I’m not much use in a fight without expensive components, and we’re starting to run really low…” Sunburst admitted.
“We need to strike now, while that horrible roach is vulnerable. Who knows when she might worm her way into a better arrangement with the cloaks? Couldn’t you simply call your masters at the Pillars and beg for some much needed support? I’m sure if you grovel, they’d be happy to send some suicidal hero types to back up our little task force.” Adagio said.
“The Pillars have their hands full with other matters in other places. They can’t spare the additional firepower here.” Sunburst said.
“There is another option; Buck. We know that the queen wants him for his power. Even if he’s not great in a fight, he’d be an excellent distraction. Or bait.” Adagio said.
“After what happened today, do you honestly think Buck would want to go risking his neck all over again?” Sunburst said.
“You’re going to heal him, right?” Starlight said.
“Starlight, you know that’s not the problem. It’s his emotional state.”
“Just a minute. Buck raised an excellent question earlier today.” Adagio interjected. “If the Pillars are hurting for pawns, why not just call in the premiere defenders of Canterlot, those horrible Rainbooms?”
Sunburst and Starlight went quiet again. Adagio grinned.
“What? Why the sullen looks? Are you afraid they’ll spot me in the vicinity and friend me to death?” 
“I don’t think they would attack you unless you tried to pull something.” Sunburst said.
“So, what’s the problem? If the situation is as dire as it seems, why not call in the “best and brightest”?” 
“Chrysalis is just a lackey to some greater threat. We don’t have a primary target to shoot rainbow lasers at, and the situation is still about subterfuge.” Starlight deflected.
“But surely they must have relevant skills to this case! Unless you’re telling me they’re too lazy to lift a finger in defense of their home? Sunset Shimmer may be foolish and weak, but I don’t know her to be negligent.” Adagio jabbed.
“Sunset Shimmer is an incredible person, and she’s more than a match for you!” Starlight rose, taking a stomp in Adagio’s direction, and in response, Adagio rose from her seat.
“Well, if she’s so high and mighty, why are we in the middle of picking up her slack? You’re her star pupil, right? Why isn’t she supporting you?” Adagio said.
“Why you-” Starlight started, but Sunburst put a hand on her shoulder, stepping between her and Adagio.
“Adagio, I appreciate your help, but if you keep swiping at Starlight, you won’t remain welcome here.”
“Oh yes, shunt me out of the conversation. I’m sure that will go great for you.” Adagio said.
“I won’t let you bad mouth Sunset Shimmer! She is doing everything she can!” Starlight said.
“So where is she?” Adagio said.
Starlight glared at Adagio over Sunburst’s shoulder, looking not just angry, but desperate. Adagio tasted blood on the water, waiting with vicious patience for an answer.
“Sunset doesn’t live around here anymore.”
Everyone turned to Scootaloo, who was casually looking up from her phone.
“What? She went on the road years ago! The Rainbooms are all sorta doing their own thing right now. I don’t know if any of them are still around here.” Scootaloo shrugged.
“Come again?” Adagio said.
“Well, I mean, some of them went to school after senior year, and some of them went into business, and some of them just moved, but all of the Rainbooms have like...like whole lives, you know? Even AJ is away from the farm right now. I think they get together every once in a while, but it’s not like they could all just hang around Canterlot forever, and I think there might be some beef there, and should I stop talking?”
Adagio turned her head slowly and saw pure murder on Starlight’s face. Their eyes met, and Adagio’s surprise twisted into a smile before the dam broke and she began cackling maniacally.
“I can’t believe…I completely forgot! I was content to just let the Rainbooms die of old age! I never once considered that the seven most detestable nuisances spit out by this wretched world would just, just separate without me needing to lift a finger! How could I be so foolish as to forget; you people always separate, one way or another! I just didn’t think it would be so soon!” 
Starlight dashed forward and grabbed Adagio by the collar.
“The Rainbooms are the greatest heroes that Canterlot has ever seen, and if you think you can just run roughshod because they aren’t all together, I’ll call them all here myself!”
Adagio stared at Starlight, silent for just a moment before she started laughing again.
“What, and interrupt their busy little lives!? Neglect whatever their oh-so-important responsibilities are, just because you asked nicely!? I always thought it was strange, leaving two underpowered enforcers to defend the Rainboom’s territory, but I never dreamed they would just leave! How incredibly human!”
“Shut up! Just shut up!” Starlight snarled.
“How long has it been? I wasn’t paying attention! How many of them are married? Any children!?”
“Actually, I’m pretty sure Twilight has a niece.” Scootaloo said.
“STOP TALKING, SCOOTALOO!” Starlight screamed. 
“AHAHAHAHAHAH!” Adagio laughed hysterically. “It’s already been years! A few short decades, a blink of the eye, and none of this will even matter! What was I ever worried about!? You’re all just specks of dust on a breeze!”
“Is that how you feel about Buck?” Sunburst said. He touched Starlight’s hand gently and she let Adagio go.
Adagio blinked as if she had been slapped, staring at the middle distance blankly.
“It doesn’t matter how I feel about Buck. He’s already chosen to waste his time with a hammer-swinging ninny.” Adagio said. “He and I can reconnoiter when he’s ready to see reason.”
“And what reason is that?” Starlight spat.
“The fact that he needs me, of course. Just like you do, since your precious teacher isn’t here to clean your messes.”
“Ugh, you are so full of it!” Starlight said.
“Yes, because I’m always right.” Adagio said.
“Alright, that’s enough. I know tensions are high, but if one thing is clear, it’s that we can’t afford to be fighting right now. I think going after Chrysalis is a good plan, but we shouldn’t move without figuring out if Buck is on board.” Sunburst said.
“Of course you’d take her side.” Starlight mumbled.
“We’ll drive ourselves crazy, going in circles like this, and that’s just what the enemy wants; to keep us distracted. I’ll go over and heal Buck tomorrow morning, and in the meantime, we should all sleep on this and take a good rest. Alright?” Sunburst said.
“...fine.” Starlight and Adagio said, in unison. 
Adagio turned to leave, favoring Scootaloo with a little grin, but Scootaloo couldn’t seem to meet her eye. Adagio paused with her hand on the doorknob and tried very hard not to grit her teeth.
“Buck won’t be in the best of moods. I suggest you try to cheer him up before you pitch the plan, Sunburst.” Adagio said.
“I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you.” Sunburst said.
“Do you have my notes?” Adagio said.
“Yes.”
Adagio left without another word.
“Is it cool if I sleep over?” Scootaloo said.
“Sure, Scoots. Do you want to come with me tomorrow and help with Buck?”
“Yeah, bet!” 





“Surpriiiise!”
Buck’s door swung open to reveal Sunburst, carrying a few bags of chips, some old anime DVDs, and a bottle of cheap rum. Scootaloo was right next to him, smiling ear to ear, carrying a cooler containing a  jangling six-pack of sodas and several wrapped sandwiches.
Buck’s eyes regarded Sunburst and Scootaloo with all the enthusiasm of a dead goldfish.
“You’re not Ditzy.” Buck said, flatly.
“No, I’m here to cleric up your bruises!” Sunburst said.
“And I’m here too!” Scootaloo said.
“And Scoots is here too. I wanted to make sure you were doing okay. Are you okay?” Sunburst said.
“Yeah! You look like total crap!” Scootaloo said.
Buck shut the door. After a few seconds of bewilderment. Sunburst knocked, and Buck peeked out again.
“What.”
“We’re also here to cheer you up. I heard that last night didn’t go so well after the fight, so I thought we could have a little kickback, just the three of us!” Sunburst said.
The door shut again.
“Come on, Buck! At least let me heal you up and assess the state of your magic!”
The door locked.
“We brought rum and THC!” Sucootaloo tried.
The door opened a crack.
The next couple of hours were a slow and careful climb to whatever passed for normal in Buck’s life. Sunburst gently interrogated Buck about the previous day’s events while they drank, ate snacks, and inevitably took off their pants. With cool drinks, an open window, and decent company, Buck regained something like a smile.
“So, what happened with you and Adagio? I thought you were on good terms?” 
“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Buck said, taking a swig from the cheap bottle of rum.
Scootaloo looked at Sunburst, a bit disappointed, but Sunburst was counting down on his fingers.
“...we had an argument. It got intense. That girl really gets me heated, man, so I think it’s best if I keep my distance. I can’t handle all this drama, it’s no fun.”
“You were looking for fun, yesterday?” Sunburst said.
“I was supposed to be on a date! So yeah, I was looking for fun! Do you remember fun? I’m not sure if I fuckin’ do! Everythings happening all at once, and it feels like no matter what I do lately, it blows up in my face!” Buck said, red sparks twinkling around his head. “And then there’s this shit! I think the necklace is banjaxed, or something!”
“It’s definitely cracked, which makes sense, considering how it was used. Good thinking, by the way.” Sunburst said. 
“Yeah, whatever. Did you guys check on Ditzy? I think I really scared the piss out of her.
“I think Starlight’s on that.” Scootaloo said. She was sitting a bit uncomfortably, bouncing her foot and trying to ignore the proximity of Buck’s tight boxer briefs. 
“Oh geez. Is that a good idea? She ain’t exactly a social worker.”
“It’s fine. They have a history.” Sunburst said. “Besides, we’re here to take care of you! Well, I am, anyway. Scoots is mostly here for moral support.”
“Oh, seriously? Yo, Scoots, hit me with a morale boost!”
“Uh…it looks like…you know how to take a punch?” Scoots said, squinting.
“Eh, four out of ten, but thanks. I’m just glad you’re here. Is somethin’ different about you? You change your hair?” Buck said, swaying a bit.
Scootaloo had insisted on stopping off at her dorm to get changed before coming to Buck’s place. She was now wearing a butter-colored tank top depicting a showy logo of a microphone and top hat with the letters ‘S.S’ in blue sequins above them. She was in a shortish jean skirt and knee socks. She also had a light blue bit of cloth in her hair, tied in a sloppy knot that was almost like a bow. 
It was the most feminine look Sunburst had ever seen on Scootaloo.
“Well, there’s a splint on her leg,” Sunburst said. “And a skirt?”
“Yeah! And I got a new top!” Scoots said.
“Oh, rad! What’s her name?” Buck said, shooting Scoots with a finger gun.
Scoots and Sunburst immediately started cracking up, and after a moment, Buck laughed as well. The shaking of his chest and the sheer absurdity was like a water balloon to the face, cooling Buck off and bringing a genuine smile to his face.
“You know what I think is dumb?” Scoots said.
“What’s that?”
“I think its dumb that we’re only using our magic to fight people! I mean, if I got a handle on my windy stuff, couldn’t I use it to keep myself cool when it’s hot out?”
“Well, sure, but you’d be wasting components if you did that. Your mana pool is very limited.” Sunburst said.
“Well, well, what about Buck!? He’s got like a bunch of mana, right?”
“When I’m with Adagio, sure. I don’t really know how much I have on the regular.”
“But you can use it, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Soooo…why not use it for fun?”
Sunburst and Buck looked at each other for a moment, then smiled.





It had been a while since Ditzy Doo had been to Center Park. From everything she knew, Center Park was kind of like New York’s central, but smaller in size and funding. It was dense with walking paths and tall trees, as well as a few open fields, and a playground, though none of those features were very well cared for.
She was sitting on a lightly graffitied bench in the shade, for once not doing anything with her hands. Her arms tingled with a familiar soreness after the previous day’s events, but she focused instead on the warm breeze and the summer heat. That, and keeping an eye on Dinky, so she didn't wander into the trees or down a hill.
How long had it been since she had some time to just slow down and relax? How long would this rest actually last?
It was getting close to noon, and it wouldn’t be long before she had to call Dinky back from the playground to drink some water and sit in the shade, but for the last hour or two, Ditzy had the pleasure of watching her daughter run around and just be a kid, just like she used to.
The playground equipment was noticeable rusty in certain spots near the bottom, and Ditzy could hear the swings creaking as kids flew back and forth. She remembered the playground being nicer when she was a kid, but she wouldn’t let herself worry.
Ditzy wondered where she was going to take Dinky after this. She was still too scared to go home. 
“Hey.” 
Ditzy instantly jumped, turned, and almost got to her feet, one fist closed. It was Starlight Glimmer, leaning on the back of the bench, a look of dull surprise on her face.
“Can you…can you please not sneak up on me?” Ditzy said, straightening her blouse. 
“Sorry about that. I guess I’ve gotten a little too used to skulking around on alert. I got your text, obviously.”
“Right.”
“Did he hurt you?” 
“Buck wouldn’t do that. He’s nothing like that!”
“Okay, but if you’re not worried about that, why did you call me over here?”
“I didn’t say I wasn’t worried! He..” Ditzy looked over and saw Dinky waving to her. She smiled and waved back, then lowered her voice. “Buck was turning into a monster again! And there wasn’t anything going on; he wasn’t super stressed or anything!”
“What was happening at the time?”
“We were…getting naughty.”
Starlight groaned into her hand.
“Of course.”
“What do you mean, of course?”
“Buck’s powers might have something to do with…sexytimes. According to Adagio’s notes, ‘Passion’ is his spell focus, which might be why she was so intent on training him herself.”
“You can’t be serious. Did she…?”
“No, as far as I know, they haven’t done anything. In fact, I’m pretty sure they had some sort of falling out last night.”
Ditzy turned that thought over in her head, not sure how to process it.
“Well, that’s good, I guess, but Starlight, what the heck is going on? He had the necklace on, but he started changing! You were supposed to be looking out for him and making sure that he was getting a handle on his powers!”
“He is. In a manner of speaking, he’s doing very well. Still can’t do anything really useful with his magic, but I haven’t seen him light anything on fire or create any more schizophrenic room-wide illusions.”
“What?”
“Though that second one might be useful if he could learn to control it…”
“Starlight! Listen, I can’t live like this! I can’t be next door to Buck, knowing he could turn into some sort of demon at the drop of a hat! The stone isn’t working! Don’t you have anything that can stop this?”
“We had to special order that changeling stone, but if even it isn’t working, the only thing we can do is keep teaching Buck to better control his mana.”
“That’s what you said you’d do before! You can’t let this happen! I can’t be the reason Buck turns evil! We shouldn’t have to deal with all of this crazy magic stuff; that’s your job!”
“We’re getting closer to containing the threat of the cloaks. Once this situation is handled, I promise all of this will get easier. If you want, I can come over and tutor Buck in his apartment. That way he’d be far away from Adagio, and you could monitor his progress directly.”
“No! I don’t want crazy magic nonsense anywhere near my home! Especially not with Dinky being around more because of summer vacation! I just want this situation dealt with, and for things to go back to normal!” 
Ditzy was gritting her teeth, trying hard to keep her voice down so she wouldn’t spook the kids or other parents around the playground.
Starlight’s expression was noticeably more lax as she stared across the field.
“...is Dinky normal?” Starlight said.
“Yes, Starlight. She’s perfectly fine, thank you very much. She shouldn’t have to grow up with all this craziness around her. She deserves a chance at a normal life, and so do I, and so does Buck.” Ditzy huffed.
“...you’re not going to like what I have to say next.”






Back at Buck’s place, a shitty techno beat came through the TV speakers. Sunburst sat on the couch, flipping through a little purple notebook, while Scootaloo and Buck danced.
Every time the beat hit, their hair changed colors.
“See, this is what I’m talking about! You may not be able to shoot lasers, or whatever, but you could be the life of the party with all your dumb tricks!” Scootaloo said. She took a sip from a can of soda, then immediately spat it out. “Bleck!”
Buck fell onto the couch, laughing hysterically.
“What is this!? What’d you do!?”
“I made your cola taste like hot dog water!” 
“Eewww!!! You’re doing pranks, now!?”
“Hah! Sorry, sorry, give it another shot!” 
Scootaloo took another sip and frowned.
“Is that steak sauce? Why would you pick steak sauce?”
“Shit, hold on…there.”
Another sip.
“Well, now it tastes like chocolate milk!”
“Yes!” Buck pumped a fist. “Once step closer to chocodick!”
“What?”
“I want to invent a spell that makes my dick taste like chocolate! It’s kinda been on the backburner.”
“Why would you want to do that?” Sunburst said. Ahead of him was a nearly empty bottle of rum, and the equestrian bestiary sat in his lap.
“Are you kidding!? That’s brilliant!” Scootaloo said. “Nobody likes the way dick tastes, that’s why they invented flavored condoms, but those sorta suck.”
“Hah!” Buck laughed.
“You’re telling me you’re figuring out how to make your dick more suck-worthy than ever!? You’ve gotta show it to me!” Scootaloo said.
“My dick? Scoots, you’ve already seen it.”
Sunburst looked up from his study, completely bewildered, but neither Scootaloo nor Buck seemed to consider that last statement a big deal. Sunburst hoped silently that Buck wasn’t repeating the same mistake he had made with Smolder back in college.
“No, the spell, dummy!” 
“Oh, uh, I don’t think Ditzy would approve o’that. Hell, I don’t even know if I can do it! So far my Flavor cantrip only works on liquids.”
“Well, with a little bit of trial and error, you should have no problem adapting it to solids and gasses.” Sunburst said, flipping through the notebook.
“What makes you say that?”
“Adagio’s notes. She lent them to me, just in case I needed them. She actually has some pretty sound theories about your magic.”
“Oh boy…” Buck rolled his eyes.
“Ooh, ooh, what’d she say!? I wanna hear!” Scoots said, flopping onto the couch next to Sunburst.
“It says ‘All evidence indicates that Buck lies somewhere in the Chaos/Telluric quadrant, likely near one of the axes, considering his magical potency. However, I predict that he will continue to struggle with his magic, as a primary principle of Chaos-based spells is “just going with it” instead of overthinking every intimate aspect of a situation, as is his usual predilection.”
“Hah! She’s got you pegged, Buck!” Scootaloo said. 
“Yeah, you wish!” Buck caught Scootaloo in a headlock, rubbing her head with his knuckles in a classic noogie.
“Eek! Okay, okay, uncle!”
“And then there are several speculations about what your relative equestrian species could be. Apparently, she thought you were an Abyssinian until just recently, but now she’s back to not being certain.”
“Abyssinian?” Scootaloo said.
“Cats. They’re one of the player races in O&O. You know, they come from the Undergloom? Rivalry with the Diamond Dogs?” Sunburst said.
“Uhh…”
“They're like the fifty millionth PC race to have darkvision, but they don’t see great in bright light, so they’re always in cities.”
“Uhhh….”
“I played one for one of Sunburst’s one shots. You said he was hot.”
“Oh yeah! Yeah…I don’t see it.”
“Apparently, neither does Adagio. She says…oh. Hm. Maybe not.”
“What? What did she say?”
“It might be a bit embarrassing.” Sunburst said, looking to Buck.
“Man, just read it. I’m too drunk to care that much.”
“While the Abyssinian theory seemed sound due to their predilection for illusion magic, Buck has proved adorably inept at controlling his fancies for that to be the case. And…”
“And? And?” Scootaloo said, practically vibrating in her seat.
“And even putting that aside, he is far too soft-hearted to be in possession of a barbed penis, regardless of which realm he is in.” Sunburst finished.
Sunburst and Scootaloo looked at Buck--Scootaloo barely fighting back tears of laughter–when Buck slapped his knee and started chuckling.
“You know, for all her foibles, Adagio has kept a very meticulous record of your development, and her notes are all like this.” Sunburst said.
“What, filled with backhanded compliments?” Buck said.
“Filled with care. A lot of these notes speculate about your sleeping habits, with the word ‘Rest’ underlined several times. It seems like she’s been trying to figure out subtle ways to get you to take care of yourself instead of fixating so hard on the magic.“
“She’s just trying to make sure I don’t burn out so I can remain useful to her.” Buck said.
“Well, it seems like her initial claim that a classroom doesn’t suit you was right on the money. From all I’ve read, it seems like species that fall on the Chaos/Tellurgic side of the spectrum have one thing in common.”
“What’s that?”
“They don’t record their magic lessons. Dragons, Aybssinians, Kirin; they all pass on their arcane teachings through word of mouth, and they don’t really learn spells so much as…experience them.”
“Man, I bet Kirins do great improv.” Buck said.
“Exactly! Experimentation is the key to learning this power, not rote memorization. So building a “curriculum” for you is probably a bad idea. Better to just let you throw things at the wall and see what sticks.”
“That sounds super irresponsible.” Buck said.
“We won’t know what you can really do until we try. How about the next time you come over, you break out the list of spell ideas that I know you’ve got to have by now, and just go wild? What do you say?”
“Well, I mean, a lot of it is sex stuff, so-”
“I volunteer!” Scootaloo said, frantically.
“Okay, what’s gotten into you?” Buck said.
“Nothing! That’s the problem!” Scootaloo said, falling to the floor. “You and Adagio crossed me up, and now my toys just aren’t doing it anymore!”
“Oh shit, so you were being serious yesterday.”
“I’m horneeeee!!!” Scootaloo kicked her legs like a tantruming child, then squawked in pain as her splinted ankle hit the floor.
“Yeah, sorry, Scoots. You’re gonna have to figure that one out on our own. I’m spoken for.”
“Okay, but what if I ask Ditzy?”
“She’ll probably say no.”
“What if I pay you!?”
“That’s not funny, Scoots.” Buck said with a severe look. 
“Who’s joking? I’m gonna be benched for a while with this dumb leg, I’ve gotta figure out some way to not die of boredom! I don’t mind being the crash test dummy for your weird dick magic!”
“Cut it out, Scoots. You’re bein’ a pest.” Buck said.
“Well if Ditzy doesn’t want the weird dick magic, she could at least share it…” Scootaloo grumbled.
“Alright, alright, enough talkin’ about my dick! Sunburst, I’m totally down to have you tutor me, okay, as long as it's safe. My biggest mistake in all of this was being alone with Adagio, and putting myself in danger. When Ditzy comes back…if she fuckin’ comes back, I need to be able to tell her that I’m done being stupid about this magic bullshit.”
Sunburst and Scootaloo looked at each other for a moment.
“What? What’d I say?”
“I may have been a bit dishonest about why we came over today,” Sunburst said.
“What? Oh, no. No, no, no, not you, man! Come on, man!” Buck said.
“Just hear me out! With Scoots out of commission, we’re a man down. Adagio has a plan to-”
“Adagio has a plan? And you and Starlight are going along with it?”
“Trust me, there was some resistance, but we’ve all agreed that it’s a smart move. We’re going after Chrysalis.”
“That fucking bug that tried to drink me dry!?”
“Yes! She’s been in hiding, somewhere in the Everfree mountain range. We think that she sent her minions after Cauldron Bubbles’ because she’s running out of mana, so now’s the time to get out there and take her in. We even have a way to track her! But we’ll need you, not just because of your mana, but because she targeted you once, and she might do it again if you’re there with us.”
“You wanna use me as bait!?”
“In a manner of speaking…? We think we can spring a trap on her, and draw her out of hiding if you’re with us. You handled yourself well, yesterday; you proved that even when you’re cornered, you can find a way to dance through the danger. You’ve already saved lives with your magic, and you could do it again! We want you to-”
“Okay, Sunburst, I’m gonna stop you there. There is no way that I’m about to freeze my ass off climbing a damn mountain just to let a freaky alien bug bitch eat my ass long enough for you to tie a rope around her.”
“Sounds kinky.” Scootaloo said.
“It sounds fuckin’ dumb! And Ditzy ain’t ever gonna sign off on somethin’ like that, and you want me to go out there with Adagio? Are you high?” Buck said.
“Well, yes, we’re all a bit cross-faded.” Sunburst said.
“Not the point! Now, I don’t know what Adagio did to convince you, but it’s not gonna work on me. All I wanna do is get my magic under control so that what happened last night never happens again. I’ve got enough on my plate without having to add changeling attacks to the list of shit that’s stressing me out!”
Tiny red crackles fizzed around Buck’s head as he ranted. A very slight crinkling sound came from the stone hanging from his neck.
“Better to feel stressed than feel nothing at all.” Sunburst said, quietly.
“Excuse me?”
“Buck, I’m going to be honest with you, because we’re brothers, aren’t we?”
“We are.” Buck said, through gritted teeth.
“Ever since you and Adagio met, I’ve seen you come to life. I’ve watched you get furious, get unbelievably horny, devious, and speculative. I’ve seen you laugh, cry, fight for your life, make peace and strategize. In the last few months alone, you’ve been more alive than I’ve ever seen you, and it’s not in spite of the magic Adagio brought to your life, but because of it. I know it’s been hard on you, and expensive and painful at times, but I also know that I’d rather see you laugh about “dick magic” than watch you sit in front of your laptop and hammer out a bunch of lifeless clickbait. You’ve been depressed for most of the time I’ve known you, but right now, you’re brighter than ever, and I can’t for the life of me understand why you’d want to go back to feeling numb.”
“What are you getting at, Sunburst?”
“I think you’re concerned for Ditzy and Dinky, but I think you’re more afraid that if you keep participating in our mission, you might find that you’ve got a talent for it. Now, I know you’ve been there before, so you-” Sunburst stopped suddenly. 
The red sparks around Buck’s head flickered for just a moment, creating the barest outline of a horn protruding from the side of Buck’s forehead. His eyes sizzled with a red heat, and he looked like he was about to throw a punch.
“Woah…” Scootaloo whispered.
“We can offer pay. If we can deal with Chrysalis, The Pillars have offered us a cash bonus on top of our normal salary. We can give that to you. We’re getting close to the first of the month, right?” Sunburst said.
“Even if…even if I agreed to that, Ditzy never would. She’s already scared of me. You want to get her pissed at me, too? This is how you do it.”
“Well, maybe…but it’s your life, not hers.” Scootaloo said.
“And now Scoots is gettin’ in.” Buck groaned.
“Yesterday, you told me I don’t have to be like Rainbow Dash; I just have to be like me! Well, you don’t have to be like Ditzy wants you to be. All you’ve gotta be is yourself! And like you said to me, I’m pretty sure you’re the only person that can do what you do. So maybe give it a shot?”
Buck grimaced and got to his feet, suddenly pacing the floor.
“This is stupid. This is so fuckin’ stupid. You bone one magical creature and suddenly everybody wants a piece! Fuckety-fuck-fuck-fuck! Can’t believe I’m even…” Buck grumbled.
Sunbursts’ phone rang with a short snippet of the X-Files theme.
“Bon Bon? It’s me, go ahead. What? Right now? Uh…now’s not the best…at Center? Oh, no. Okay. Alright, I’m on the way.”
“What? What’s wrong, now?” Buck said.
“Sometime earlier today, there was an anomaly at Center Park. Bon Bon says it was a rift, and considering the density of wildlife in the park…”
“It’s probably caused some innocent squirrel or some shit to go all Goosebumps.”
“Exactly. Starlight is in Center right now, but she’s currently in talks with Ditzy Doo, so it’s best she stay there to protect her and Dinky.”
“Ditzy and Dink are out there!? With a monster!?”
“We don’t know the nature of the threat yet, but it’s probably a pack of something dangerous. Either way, it’s best if I wait until Starlight calls me. Don’t want to make a move before-”
“No, no, fuck that. We’re dealing with this shit right now before it gets out of hand.” Buck said, heading for the door.
“What? Just like that? But you said-”
“This is different! The girls are in danger! And so are Ditzy and Dinky!” Buck’s steps were a bit unsteady as he struggled with getting his shoes on.
“...I don’t get it, but whatever, let’s go!” Scootaloo said, grabbing her crutch.
“You say here, Scoots! You’re in no condition to fight mutant animals, and besides, if Ditzy gets chased back over here, you’ll be our last line of defense.” Sunburst said.
“Maaaan! Okay, fine…” Scootaloo whined.
“Hey, there’s plenty of stuff in here to keep you entertained! Go wild, just don’t break nothin’!” Buck said, gesturing at his books, TV, media shelf, and game console.
“Oooh! Okay, roger dodger!” Scootaloo said, enthusiastically.
“Come on, Sunburst, let’s go be idiots,” Buck said. He and Sunburst ran down to the parking lot before running back up to put their pants back on. 
Unbeknownst to either of them, they were being watched. And followed.





“He’s an idiot! Adagio said.
It was some indeterminate time of the day. Adagio hadn’t bothered to open her blinds to check, and what did it matter? She was tired, she was angry, and she deserved every drop of this glass of wine. 
What she didn't deserve was the stack of papers taking up the lion's share of space on her desk. She had been scouring the files for any fiscal echoes of dealings with a Camp Everfree, and while it did appear in the records by sheer luck, it had no sign of any paper trail besides being counted as some strange, anomalous side account marked ‘donation’. 
“Who are we talking about?” Sonata said, through the phone.
“Buck! He’s an overbearing, over-demanding, touch starved, scene-stealing IDIOT!” 
“Oh, right, your boy toy! What did he do?”
“He had the audacity, the rakish audacity to turn the tables on me when I made a move on him!”
“For realsies? Isn’t that a good thing, though?”
“No! He tried to demand…he tried to make me confess!”
“Confess to what, sis?”
“NOTHING!” 
Adagio drank down the remains of her glass in one quick drag. 
“It sounds like he got tired of being played with, sis! Boys are like that sometimes. Did you try giving him a blowie?”
“He doesn’t want blowies, Sonata. Now’s not the time.”
“All guys want blowies! That’s like, science, or something!”
"Suggest something else.”
There was silence over the line.
“I am not kidnapping him and also giving him a blowie!”
There was silence over the line, but louder.
“I am not kidnapping him, giving him a blowie and then offering him tacos!” Adagio groaned.
“Welp, I’m out of ideas!” 
“I can’t just let him go, not when everything is just starting to come together!”
“You have a plan?”
“I always have a plan, Sonata. Unfortunately, I have to rely on a man’s feelings to make this plan work. And land records.”
“Wow, you're really going in on this thing! Do you really think it will work?"
"Of course it will! I nearly have everything I need, and all Buck needs is a little push in the wrong direction. I just need to make some adjustments to my approach."
"Would it be easier if I was there?"
"No. If he's already frustrated by me, you would definitely drive him off."
"Aww…but he sounds fun!"
"Nothing about this is fun."
"Well, I'm having fun just hearing you talk about it!"
"...Are you eating popcorn over there?"
"No!"
"Sonata."
"A little bit!"
"What do you suggest? I tried 'appealing' to him, like you said, and it blew up in my face."
"Did you?"
"What?"
"Did you level with him, or did you just sort of do the Adagio thing?"
"Adagio thing? What Adagio thing? There is no Adagio thing!"
"Come on, Sis! This isn't the first time you've had a crush! Remember that pirate captain? The one with the good hands?"
"I don't have a crush, and I have no idea what you're talking about."
"You spent all this time talking about capturing the ship and the crew and the treasure, and all you really wanted was to have a nice date, and you made us get all dressed up, and then instead of doing any of that, you just went to the captain's quarters and-"
"Okay, yes! Yes, I remember! What's your point!?"
Adagio felt an old heat wash over her as a memory she held quietly in her heart resurfaced. The night sky over the waves. The brandy. The smell of perfume.*
"Well…you got all worked up about this big plan, and then when it didn't work-"
"My plans always work."
"And when it got a little wacky, you just got to the point, and it all worked out! So why don't you just talk to him, actually, instead of messing around?"
"He doesn't trust me now."
"I mean, he's not supposed to, right?"
"He's supposed to adore me. He does adore me, he's just momentarily forgotten that."
"So what are you worried about?"
"...I'm worried that he'll be an old man before he remembers. Or he'll die because he’s too stubborn to directly cooperate with me."
"Are you sure you don't want me to come over?"
        "Why? Are you feeling a bit lost without my guidance?" Adagio said, smugly.
        "I kinda just wanted to visit? It sounds like you're having a hard time."
“I don’t need help, Sonata, I need advice. He’s central to my plans, and I need him to work with me. How do I charm him back into my circle?”
“Sounds like the big dummy already wants to work with you, but he’s a softy, so maybe if you let him be all soft on you instead of pushing him away, he might-”
        Adagio ended the call and threw her phone across the room. Her pride couldn't take much more of this. She needed a win. 
It took her a few seconds to gather herself, but once she regained her poise and hid away her alcohol, she took a step out onto the floor.
  As she understood it, many of the employees at Affluent Answers had been paid off or otherwise silenced by the Pillars, but all of them seemed to understand that something had happened, and now Adagio was rising in company influence.
        The incessant tapping of fingers on keyboards, and even a few phone calls in progress ground to a halt. Adagio's presence in the room alone was enough to call the attention of her subordinates, a fact that brought her no small amount of satisfaction.
“Peachbottom? I’d like to see you in my office.” Adagio said, then returned to her seat.
After a few moments, Ms. Peachbottom, the unofficial office gossip, entered Adagio’s private sanctum, and within seconds she had rattled off comments about the curtains, the columns, the delightfully low ceiling, and Adagio’s fine mahogany desk. It was almost relieving to hear someone so passionate about such minuscule details, but it brought to mind an image of Buck excitedly rambling about why a worthless clown that can chop himself into pieces is his favorite character in a story where Nico Robin exists. After a few seconds, the novelty wore off, and Adagio returned to the diatribe in progress.
“And good golly miss molly, that cannot be an authentic rococo picture frame! I mean the cost of restoring it alone would be more than this whole stinkin’ office!”
“Peachbottom, focus. I’d like to ask you some questions. You’ve worked here for quite a while longer than me. Do you know about this firm’s dealings with Camp Everfree?”
“Ohhh…geez…Camp Everfree, what a rustic ol’ place! You’re lookin’ at full scribe cabins that go back close to the founding o’ Canterlot. I think I must’a toured the grounds back when-”
“Financial dealings, Peachbottom. I’ve seen the name on our records, but not as a subsidiary, or an extension or anything significant. The name is there under our “charity” archive, but no payment is on record. Does that sound familiar?”
“I’m not sure, there, boss! That sounds like a while ago!”
“Does the name Burnt Oak ring a bell? Dark skin? Stetson hat?”
“Ohhhh! Older? Handsome feller, right!?”
“If you insist.”
“Right, right! He’s got kids about your age! I remember! He came through here once or twice! I think…” Peachbottom’s tone dropped. “I think the last time he came through, years ago, now, he was pitchin’ a fit.”
“Is that so?”
“Now, you didn’t hear it from me, but I’m mighty sure he came in here all hemmin and hawin; wanted to see mister Filthy Rich? Something about settlin’ up!” 
“I see…is that all you remember?”
“That’s about it, chief.”
“One more question. Have you seen Bon Bon today?”
“Haven’t seen her!”
“I see. That will be all, Peachbottom.”
“Sure thing, boss!”
“Oh, and not a word of this conversation to the top brass, understood?”
“Sure thing! I’ll keep my lips locked up tighter than a chicken coop durin’ fox season!”
“Yes, well…you do that.” 
Adagio gave a half-hearted wave and pulled one more string.
“Ms. Harshwhinny?  I need your expertise.”
“What can I do for you Miss Dazzle?” Replied the intercom.
“I’ve found a bit of an anomaly. There is a ‘charity’ account in our files that appears to be in the interest of nearby Camp Everfree, but for all intents and purposes, the money was deposited without a cited source.“
“Is it recent?”
“No. It is years old by now, but a misfiling like this is beyond unprofessional, and I’d like to get to the bottom of it. Can I rely on your support?”
“Naturally. We are partners now, are we not? It is our prerogative as accountants to correct egregious clerical errors such as this.”
“I have reason to believe that this account may be connected to Barnyard Bargains.”
“I see. And you don’t have access to their portfolio.”
“But as Senior Director of Finance, you do. Can you do a bit of rooting around? Look for a Burnt Oak as a signee, or perhaps Timber Spruce, or Gloriosa Daisy, representing Camp Everfree, going back about two to three decades.”
“That is an inordinate amount of paperwork. It may be a bit before I can get back to you on this investigation.”
“What could possibly hold you back from this project?”
“Business, Miss Dazzle. We are entering convention season. Surely you’ve noticed the uptick of activity in this district as of late?”
“Ah yes, a veritable legion of insufferable, blazer-wearing merchant types have been flocking around the north side.”
“...Are you not fond of blazers?”
“That’s irrelevant. What does convention season have to do with your workload?”
“Everything. Each business convention brings new customers to our door, and I’m in the middle of shopping our services around. Every entrepreneur needs an accountant, and we are the best in the Everfree region.”
“Are we, now?”
“We are, due in no small part to your work bolstering our reputation. Our workload will only increase as the summer goes on, and lest you forget, we’ll be hosting the Canterlot Historical Society’s Fall Break Gala at the end of the season. Your services  have been positively instrumental in the continued success of this company, but as it stands, I have much more to tear through before I can get to this side project.”
“And would you say that service to the company should go unrewarded?”
“Your promotion seems fitting.”
“My own reputation is more pressing. Having this black spot in our records leaves me uneasy, and if it comes to light that I’ve allowed it to sit here and fester when I could have corrected it…well, let’s just say I’m not fond of the implications. It’s yet to be seen by anyone besides ourselves, but it could easily be found via a routine inspection of our charity files, which means-”
“Which means if it is casually discovered during this pressing and demanding time for our business, it could put our company’s reputation on the line.”
“Are we known for hackneyed filing, Ms. Harshwhinny?”
“No. Our firm is known for professionalism.”
“I’d like to keep it that way.”
“I’ll chase it up post haste.” 
“Please let me know what you find. Thank you very much.”
Adagio turned in her chair and smirked at the ghost ship painting, but found her eyes drifting to the little fake aquarium still scrolling on her desk. 
“If only they could all be so easy,” Adagio sighed “Maybe I’ve been overcomplicating this.”
Adagio tapped the intercom on her desk once more.
“Ms. Harshwhinny?”
“Yes, Miss Dazzle?”
“I’m taking my break early.” 




      
Center Park on a Sunday morning was mostly empty, save for the odd jogger. Normally Buck would be one of the slower ones, but he had more pressing matters. Neither he nor Sunburst saw anyone pass by as they marched across the green, following a flickering yellow light.
Sunburst was armed with a sensing stone, his equestrian bestiary, and little else. Buck was armed, as usual, with his personality.
“So what’re we working with, here?” Buck said.
“Not much. I don’t really do attack spells; I just don’t have the knack for them, but I’ve got some healing reagents, I’ve got a few snare spells, and the most powerful weapon of all!”
“...a gun?”
“Knowledge!” Sunburst said, tapping his head.
“Okay, but what if it’s like a whole-ass dragon again? What kinda knowledge are you ‘bout to drop that’ll stop it?”
“If it was a dragon, we’d probably know already. We could just talk to a dragon; they’re sentient. They’d be disoriented and lost and having someone explain that they tripped into another dimension would probably help.”
“Shit, man, that’s one hell of a wrong turn. Imagine you’re on the way to the bathroom and you open the door and end up in the middle of another reality. ‘Trapped in another world with my full bladder’ sounds like a pretty shitty isekai.”
“Or a really fetishy hentai.”
“Heh, gross! So what’s the standard deal for wrangling wildlife from pony world?”
“Bon Bon is going to bring a van around where we parked. All we have to do is snare whatever came through and bring it there.”
“Sure, sure, but what if it’s like a crazy dire wolf, or a chupacabra, or, fuckin’ I dunno, a regular hippopotamus? What’ll we do then?”
“You worry too much! The report says it was only a small opening! It might just be a couple of jackalope!”
“Why would that be flagged as dangerous?”
“Well, they’ve got pointy bits. What’s important is that we catch it and get it out of here without making a scene.”
“That might be easier said than done, brother.” Buck said, pointing across the field.
Sunburst saw a long copse of trees with a playground in the middle of it, and on one far side was a stubby hut that Sunburst recognized as a pair of public restrooms, and behind it was a dumpster. That dumpster was rattling around, spewing bits of trash this way and that, but it was far enough away from the playground that no one seemed to notice.
Sunburst dropped into a low crouch behind a bit of shrubbery as he rooted around in his pocket. Buck followed his example.
“What’s the gameplan, Sunburst?” Buck whispered.
“Same as always. We need to assess the danger, contain the threat and prevent it from spilling over to anyone in the park. Do you remember the boardwalk?”
“Yeah, how could I not?”
“We want to do the opposite of that.”
“Okay, keep it contained, got it. What if we just run on ‘em and shut the lids so they can’t get out?”
“Well, I might be able to seal it with a spell, and then we can have Bon Bon send someone over to retrieve the dumpster and save us some legwork, but I’ll need a bit of time to cast it. Order/Ethereal spells tend to have a long wind up.”
“How about I take the left lid and you take the right? If I can get on top of the dumpster, I can probably weigh them both down.”
“Now that sounds like a plan.”
Sunburst and Buck shared a little fist bump, then crept across the field, splitting up to come at the dumpster with a pincer maneuver.
Neither seemed to notice in that moment who was at the playground or the conversation taking place. What they did notice was that the closer they got to the dumpster, the more it sounded like it was hosting a fight club for feral rats.
Buck’s expression shifted from concerned to dumbfounded as he and Sunburst peaked into the dumpster, dodging a wad of tissue paper that was tossed out.
The creatures were small, each about the size of a guinea pig, and most of their wrinkly faces were taken up by a row of needle-sharp teeth. They each had four stubby, sharp little claws, and they were covered in pastel-colored quills. In temperament, they seemed to be somewhere in the vague space between frat house bender and Irish pub; some were jibbering and smacking into one another, some were eating literal garbage, but all of them seemed pissed about something.
“The fuck're those?” Buck whispered as Sunburst flipped through his bestiary.
“Uhhh…Puckwudgies! Here we go; it says they are a form of equestrian monotreme. Omnivorous and highly invasive, they are known to be…and I quote, ‘mean little biters that are as temperamental as they are spiteful’.” Sunburst said.
“Well damn, I would be too if I looked like a cross between Sonic the Hedgehog and Critters.” Buck snarked. The pub brawl in progress came to a screeching halt as all the little monsters glared up at Buck in unison, gnashing their fangs
“Wait, they can understand english?”
“I don’t think they like your tone!.” Sunburst said.
The boys slammed the twin lids down just in time for the little monsters to lunge. The dumpster shook with renewed ferocity, dents forming where the puckwudgies were bodily throwing themselves at the walls and lid. It sounded like a cement mixer filled with bricks. 
“Sunburst, do something!” Buck said, leaping on top of the dumpster. 
Sunburst began mumbling, waving a hand carefully, trying to connect spell vertices, or reticulate splines or whatever, Buck wasn’t sure, but all that happened was a flickering yellow aura surrounding the dumpster for a moment before disappearing.
“Buddy, I’m gonna need you to try a little harder than that!” Buck said.
There was a creak among the constant thumping. The dumpster was struggling to do its job of not falling apart.
“It’s not going to hold! Buck, do you have anything that can stop the puckwudgies from biting us to pieces?” Sunburst said.
“Uh, well, maybe! I kinda had an idea that ties into the choco-dick theory that might-”
“I don’t think you want to stick your dick in there, Buck!”
A big dent in the lid of the dumpster nearly knocked a tooth out of Sunburst’s mouth.
“No, it’s not that, it’s something, like, it’s hard to explain!” I think it might slow them down at while you cast the snare!”
“That’s good enough for me! Let’s fall back!”
Buck rolled off the dumpster, ate a bit of dirt, then scrambled to catch up with Sunburst as he ran several yards away. 
They turned just in time for the lids to clatter open. The horde of angry little gremlins swarmed over the lip of the dumpster, leaving a trail of garbage in the wake of their murderous charge. 
“Okay, Buck, now don’t overthink it, just let the magic flow. I’m right behind you!” Sunburst said.
“Right, right, right…” Buck outstretched his hands and shut his eyes. He looked past the mental image of himself being beaten to death by mad leprechauns and tried to ignore the persistent image of Adagio’s ass clapping on their first night or the guilt he felt from slipping yesterday. He imagined heat. The feeling of a sunburn on his neck, the shape of a chili pepper, the crackle of a fireplace. A tongue burning with spice. The pepper grew bigger in his head, then ignited.
Buck opened his eyes and saw a ball of red flame at the tip of his finger.
“Some cayenne pepper’ll change that attitude, I guarantee!”
Buck snapped his finger.
The puckwudgie at the head of the pack suddenly stopped and clutched at its throat. Its gibbering was replaced by a coughing wheeze. 
“Uh…did it work?”
Buck looked back at Sunburst, who was still methodically mumbling but staring intently at the creatures. Sunburst shrugged.
All the other beasts stopped and looked confused at their fellow when suddenly gout of red flame erupted from its mouth. It fanned at its reddening face, running in circles, then licked at the ground, trying to erase the blistering spice that was spreading through its mouth. 
“Hah! Holy shit, uh, I mean’t to get all of ‘em with that, but-”
“Buck, that’s amazing! What is that, some sort of internal combustion!?”
“No, no, I tried to make it like it just bit into a handful of chili peppers!”
“You simulated not just heat but capsaicin? At range? With a simple invocation!?” Sunburst said, grabbing Buck’s shoulders and grinning.
“Uh, yeah, I guess?”
“I’ve never seen anything like that! I mean, the closest thing I can think of is a curse, but I’ve never heard of anyone conjugating one on the spot like that! I guess that proves it; you’re definitely using some sort of chaos mana signature! If we run some tests, I bet we could find some-”
“Sunburst.”
“I mean, just think of the possibilities! If your spell source is passion, that might make for an incredibly versatile set of-”
“Sunburst!”
“What?”
Buck pointed. Sunburst looked over at the Puckwudgies, and the one that had been hexed spat out a mouthful of dirt. It looked beyond furious as it turned tail, followed by the others. The quills on the pack’s backs rose and pointed directly at the pair.
“We should run.” Sunburst said, just as a storm of pointy projectiles came flying in his and Buck’s direction.





Far ahead of Buck and Sunburst’s bizarre adventure, past a small break in the trees and just out of earshot, Ditzy Doo sneered at Starlight Glimmer. On the playground in front of her, Dinky Doo paused from where she was digging in the sandbox and waved, causing Ditzy to check her expression and smile radiantly back.
As soon as her daughter returned to her own little world, Ditzy Doo turned to Starlight and spoke in a hushed and urgent tone.
“You’re out of your mind! Buck is not going to come with you on whatever this crazy magic mission is! After everything that’s happened, I don’t know why you of all people would want to go and do it, either!”
“The world needs more heroes, Ditzy.” Starlight said. Ditzy blinked and looked at Starlight incredulously.
“Did you just say that with a straight face? This is serious!”
“I know it is. That’s why I need Buck’s help. Everything that’s happened so far–it’s just been the lead up to something much bigger and much worse.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Our enemies are planning something big, and they’re turning people into monsters so they can steal their mana. We don’t know exactly what their goal is, but we do know that Canterlot needs all the help it can get. Buck has powers. He may not be much of a fighter, obviously, and he may not have a lot of control, and he may be kind of a scatterbrained horndog, but-”
“Can you not?”
“The point is, he’s not an ideal ally, but he can make a difference if he’s put in the right situation. It’s better to have him go on the offensive with us than wait around for something bad to happen.”
“Buck doesn’t want to fight for you.”
“How do you know?” Starlight said. Ditzy didn’t respond, she just sat staring at the playground, fists knotted up in her skirt while Starlight awkwardly looked around. 
Starlight caught sight of something odd from the corner of her eye, then looked behind the bench, through the little break in the trees. 
There she saw Buck being leapt upon by a horde of spiky, angry something-or-others, and Sunburst frantically trying to cast a spell. They locked eyes, and Sunburst shook his head as Starlight started to rise from the bench. He gestured silently at Ditzy, then at Buck. Starlight shrugged, then snapped back to the current conversation as Ditzy looked at her.
“Ditzy, I know that this is hard for you, and I understand the reasons why, but you’ve got to face facts. Buck has a genuine interest in learning about magic. He’s kind of a bumbler, but he has something of an aptitude for it, even if he struggles. He threw himself into the fray yesterday because he knew people would get hurt if he didn’t. That’s heroic.”
In the distance, Buck squealed like a schoolgirl who’s into entomology spying a spider, but less exuberant and more pained. He was pockmarked with tiny needles and rolling on the ground, covering his face as the Puckwudgies stomped on him.
“I know you want to keep him safe, and I know you care about him, but we need him, and I think we both know that.” Starlight said.
“But what if he dies out there!? How do I explain to Dinky that the only father figure she has got eaten by a monster, or beaten to death by some magical zombie, or, or a shapechanging bug thing!?” Ditzy said.
“I won’t let that happen, I promise.”
“You promised to teach him magic and then you just let him go off with Adagio!”
“Give me a break!” Starlight said, rising to her feet. “I’m doing everything I can out here! Someone has to make the hard calls, and I’m telling you that we need him! I didn’t want to involve him, I told him over and over again that he should stay away from all this, but he’s involved now, and I can’t change that, so I’d rather have him fight with us than become a liability! If he’s as weak as you seem to think, then why are you so scared of him!?”
“Buck…is a sweet man, who wouldn’t hurt a fly. He doesn’t have the heart for all this violence; he just gets emotional, and because of his magic, he’s a bit dangerous. It’s not his fault that this is happening, and I’m not going to let you drag him into this.”
“He could be a real warrior if you would stop coddling him.” Starlight said. Her words had taken on a sharp edge that brought Ditzy back to a darker time. 
“He’s not fighting for you, and that’s final.”
“It’s not up to you; it’s up to him.”
Ditzy rose and Starlight thought she might start screaming, but instead, she wordlessly walked over to where Dinky Doo was waving frantically, sitting alone on the swings.
Starlight checked her text messages. When she looked over her shoulder again, Buck and Sunburst were out of sight. She considered giving chase, then thought better. Instead, she texted Sunburst, telling him to meet her at the parking lot on the west side once he was done. 
“I should stay close to Ditzy and Dinky. If there are monsters in Center Park today, I’d better be here just in case.”





Another pair of eyes had been trained on Starlight Glimmer; eyes that were dull and lacking in much of anything besides intuition. 
It had been sent with a single purpose, and after following a couple of hapless fools, it had finally found its prey.
With little to go on besides some very basic directives, the beast sat in the trees and waited patiently for the right moment to strike.



 

“Don’t worry, Buck! I’m working on Plan B!” Sunburst said as Buck screamed girlishly.
Buck had been scrambling along the grass, kicking and punching at the small army of monsters to little effect. 
“What’s Plan B!? What’s Plan B!?”
Sunburst was invocating under his breath, trying to remember the exact wording of the spell. His dull yellow aura shined between the pages of the bestiary, illuminating the sigils on the cover with a flickering glow. 
“Twilight’s Fastidious Failsafe!” Sunburst said. 
The puckwudgies were yanked into the air, mid-mayhem. They writhed and twisted like fish in a net, carried in an odd midair orbit by Sunbursts’ aura.
“Woah…that’s a pretty good trick, pal.” Buck said. He got up slowly, picking quills out of his arms.
“Buck…you should move…!” Sunburst strained.
“What? Why?”
“Because they’re very angry…and I can only hold this for so long…!”
Buck looked up. The murderous gathering of puckwudgies glared and him and at Sunburst in equal measure, hissing and snarling. The aura blinked.
“Oh shit.”
Sunburst and Buck ran as the aura disappeared. Sunburst stumbled, but Buck grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him along.
“Come on, man, let’s get out of here before those little furry dildos penetrate us more than they already have!”
“They move pretty fast for such tiny things!”
“Hah, yeah, kinda like Scoots!”
“I hope she’s having a better day than us right now!”





Scootaloo was bored out of her mind, in case anyone was wondering. Over the course of the last hour and a half, she had cycled through playing just enough Castlevania to get frustrated, eating a sandwich out of Buck’s fridge, failing to guess the password to Buck’s laptop, and finally deciding that while the books on Buck’s shelf were pretty colorful, reading anything besides game manuals was for egg heads.
“I’m boooored!” Scootaloo wailed, to no one in particular. “How does Buck have a million hobbies and all of them are boring!? That should be super impossible!” 
Scootaloo rolled off the couch, onto the floor, then immediately regretted it and held her splinted ankle.
“Ow…ugh, there’s gotta be something to do around here! Maybe Buck is hiding the good stuff in the back?”
Despite being the only person in the ratty apartment, Scootaloo snuck across the living room like a spy. On Buck’s door, there was a little sign hanging from a push pin that said “Don’t” in sharpie.
“I’m only gonna take a little look…I mean he said I could play with his stuff, right?”
The door creaked forebodingly. Buck’s bedroom was musty and had a distinctive Buck-like smell, which Scootaloo was surprised to recognize. Was she sniffing Buck without thinking about it? That would be creepy, right?
What was a little creepy was that there wasn’t anything of much interest in here. Scoots saw a book titled Snow Crash on a little table next to the bed, a closet, and not much room for anything else. Buck really must keep everything out in the open, or…”
Scootaloo dipped down to the floor and saw a bunch of boxes under Buck’s bed.
“Ah-hah! Detective Scoots solves the case!” 
Scootaloo gleefully pulled boxes from under Buck’s bed, sneezing as the dust tickled her nose. She went through several unmarked boxes containing everything from a couple of old microphones, a folded artists’ easel, and a few unopened model kits before she finally discovered a box that said ‘Creepy Sex Stuff’ in sharpie on the top. 
“No way…no way, no way, no way!”
It looked like it had to have been a box for a vertical fan or something because it was long and wide, and as Scootaloo dumped its contents out on the couch, she was filled with questions.
The most pressing question was how did Buck get his hands on all this stuff. There was a variety of dildos in various colors and sizes, but then there was much more. Fuzzy handcuffs, vibrating eggs, a length of very soft red rope, anal beads, and what Scootaloo was sure was some sort of massage oil. Lastly, sliding out of the box was a long-handled red dildo that was longer than Scootaloo’s arm.
“How…how has Buck been holding out on us this whole time? This is nuts! Why was he so weird about the threesome if he’s got this stuff just lying around? I wonder if he’s used any of this on Ditzy yet?”
Scootaloo set aside a dildo that was shaped like a fist, one that was shaped like a twisting tentacle, and finally decided on one that was distinctly canine in nature with a suction cup at the bottom. It squelched onto the coffee table and stuck fast, even after Scootaloo flicked it around a little.
She squirted some lube on it, hoping that it wasn’t expired.
“I wonder if he uses them on himself, or…?”
Scootaloo looked around. She made sure the blinds were closed and the door was locked. She slid her skirt off and stuck a thumb in the band of her panties and paused.
“Am I really gonna sit on a plastic dick at Buck’s place? Is this an okay thing to do?”
Scootaloo stared at the glistening pleasure toy, which probably came in a package that had a name that contained words like ‘demonic’ or ‘blazer’ or ‘diego’ on the side, trying to decide if this in any way violated the bro code.
Then she shrugged, smiled, and positioned herself over it.






As Scootaloo began to savor her first real fun for the day, Buck and Sunburst were having the distinctly un-fun experience of running for their lives across an open field. 
Despite the quills sticking out of them at odd angles, the pair were getting closer to where they had entered the park, but the puckwudgies were gaining ground.
“They’re getting closer! Any second now they’ll be back in needler range! Now would be a good time for another clutch spell, Sunburst!” Buck said, pumping his arms.
Sunburst wheezed under his breath and spun, his aura flaring up again. A ball of sticky webbing came flying from one hand, while a petrified spider crumbled in the other. The puckwudgies stopped and tried to change direction all at once, crashing into one another.
“Nice!” Buck said.
The web exploded outward to cover the puckwudgies, but after restraining them for a moment, it flickered out of existence. The beasts looked confused for a half-second, then resumed their chase.
“Not nice! Not nice!” Buck said. 
“Okay, okay, do you have any ideas on how to stop them!?” Sunburst wheezed.
“Yeah, but how are we gonna get an apache attack chopper this early on a Sunday!?”
“Okay, break for the trees! We might be able to shake them!”
Sunburst veered off course, toward the treeline, but he clutched his side and groaned, nearly falling over. Buck ducked under Sunburst’s arm and slightly lifted him, stopping him from hitting the ground.
“No you don’t! Man, we gotta work on your cardio!” Buck huffed.
“Running is terrible! Why does anybody do this!?” Sunburst wheezed.
“I do it ‘cause writers need a hobby that they hate more than writing, now move!”
The spotty shade of the trees passed over Buck and Sunburst’s faces. Buck pushed Sunburst in one direction while he dove in another, and the mad gibbering of the puckwudgies rabbled past them both.
“Huh…guess that worked.” Buck said. He looked to Sunburst, who was trying very hard to catch his breath. “Kinda like old times, huh?” 
“I think I’d rather get chased by people…they don’t bite as much!”
“Wouldn’t put it past the cops!” Buck laughed.
“Yeah…you…should’ve stayed away from those protests…!”
“You didn’t have to come with!”
Both of the men chuckled, reminiscing about times that were not better, but simpler.
“We can’t just let them go. We gotta chase ‘em, if they don’t turn around in a minute and swing back.”
“I have a theory.”
“Yeah? Shoot.”
“I think I can take care of this if you give me a boost, like you did to Scoots.”
“I’m not slappin’ you on the ass!”
“Yeah, not this time!”
“Pfft, shut up, man! I don’t even know if I can!”
There was a shifting in the leaves up ahead. Buck squinted and saw the miniature stampede approaching once again, sounding even more pissed than before.
“No time like the present to find out! Just do what you did last time!” Sunburst said, using a tree to lever himself to his feet.
Buck ran to Sunbursts’ side. The puckwudgies would swarm them any second.
“No man, we should run! What if I fuck it up?” 
“Then we’ll deal with it together!”
“I don’t even know if…I don’t think I can do it, Adagio isn’t even here!”
“No, she’s not. I’m here. Now stop thinking so hard and just do it!”
The look on Sunbursts’ face was not grim determination or fear, but confidence. Buck was humbled and bemused at the same time.
A line of the little pointy bastards turned around and fired off a volley of quills. The rest of the puckwudgies leaped into the air, toothy maws opening wide.
Buck shook his head, smiling.
“I love you, bro.”
The two men shared a fist bump, and just as the first puckwudgie went for Buck’s throat, the shade of the trees flashed a vibrant pink.
Buck opened his eyes, amazed that he was alive, but even more aghast at the scene in front of him. 
Sunburst was floating off the ground, hands outstretched, bedecked in a wide-brimmed pointy wizard’s hat and a fluttering cape, both made of blazing pink mana. Just beyond Sunbursts’ fingertips, the pack of murder hedgehogs was floating helplessly in the air, trapped in that same pink aura.
And then Buck saw it in Sunbursts’ eye; an expression he hadn’t seen on the man in years. He remembered the first time Sunburst had cast Fireball in Ogres and Oubliettes. The absolute joy of coming in clutch.
“Holy shit. You’re a wizard, Sunburst!” 
“I am!” Sunburst beamed. “Let’s try this again! Twilight’s Fastidious Failsafe!”
The puckwudgies twirled through the air, dividing into neat little packets, then trapped together in a ball of energy. 
“What the hell is that spell? What does it do?”
“It cleans up messes! It’s pretty vague on the specifics.”
Sunburst said.
The mana field around the ball of puckwudgies wavered for a moment.
“We should get these guys over to Bon Bon! Come on!” Sunburst said. He floated through the air on a wisp of flickering pink energy, and the ball of quills rolled forward like a dutiful Katamari while Buck jogged alongside it.
“We’re way off the path right now! Do you even know how to get to the parking lot from here?” Buck said.
“I do, but we’ll have to take a shortcut!” Sunburst said.
 With a whispered incantation and a turn on the hand, Sunburst redirected the rolling ball of captured puckwudgies toward the edge of a nearby hill.
“Alright, sweet, so we’ll just roll it down.” Buck said, moving down the steep plane of grass with careful steps.
The pink aura around the puckwudgies flickered. The ball rolled a bit faster.
“Woo! Okay, now we’re cookin’ with gas! We’ll be at the parking lot in no time!” Buck said, picking up his pace.
“Uh…”
“Okay, Sunburst, I’mma need you to slow down a little bit.” Buck had broken into something of a skip as the ball picked up speed. 
“Yeah…about that…” Sunburst said, lagging just behind the ball.
“Sunburst, what the fuck is happening?”
The ball was now ahead of them. The pink aura flickered out of existence, and Sunburst dropped to the ground next to Buck, running neck and neck with him.
“So the good news is I think the parking lot is right below us!”
“Oh yeah, but the bad news is that a ball of spiky death is rolling toward it at breakneck speed!”
“We’re going to have to slow it down or it’ll crash! I need another boost!” 






Not too far away, a large gray moving van came to a squeaking stop in a small parking lot. A few spaces away, Sunbursts’ jeep sat still.
The driverside door of the van opened, and out came Bon Bon, a phone to her ear. She walked around to the back bumper and lifted up the sliding metal door.
“No, no, I’m not going to miss movie night. I just have one more gig today, and then I’ll be back. Work? No, I called in. Well, I left a note. I just need a mental health day, you know? Yes, I’m getting the popcorn you like. Yes we can watch that pony movie. Yes! I’ll see you tonight! Yes, I’ll see you soon! No…no you hang up first!”
“Okay!” Said a peppy voice on the line, and the call dropped.
Bon Bon smiled and shook her head, leaning against the side of the van.
Then she looked toward the nearby walking path, expecting Sunburst and Starlight to show up any minute with the monster of the week. What she did not expect was a ball of angry, chittering creatures to come barreling over the lip of a hill.
Bon Bon distantly noticed Buck slapping Sunburst’s back over and over again.
“I love you, bro, I love you bro, I love you bro!” Buck simpered. The glowing pink hat and cloak flickered on Sunbursts’ form as he tried to maintain a hold on the ball.
“Bon Bon, move!” Sunburst shouted. “Almost…almost…come on…!” 
The aura finally kicked back in, and the ball slowed slightly, but now it dragged Sunburst along the ground. Buck dove and caught Sunburst by the feet, digging his own heels into the grass.
Bon Bon dove out of the way on instinct, only noticing once she looked up that the ball had slowed its descent only a few feet from the van. The aura around the ball of fur stretched like a rubber band before snapping, violently launching the puckwudgies into the back of the van.
“Close it! Close it up!” Buck shouted, scrambling to his feet. The beasts were dazed, groaning and picking themselves up. Bon Bon looked at the pack in confusion and concern, and the puckwudgies took this personally. 
A tide of fur and fangs came squealing toward Bon Bon.
She closed the shutter on the van, then turned and tried to hide how rattled she was.
“Huh. Heheheheheh…AHAHAHAHA!” Buck slumped to the ground, laughing. Sunburst’s legs gave out and a stumbled on top of Buck, giggling uncontrollably. The two men did something Bon Bon thought might be some sort of precursor to a secret handshake, but their laughing was too hysterical for either of them to do it right.
Bon Bon wanted to interject, maybe tell the boys that they had done a good job, but there was no space in their wholesome jonesing around. She instead shrugged and got back in the van, leaving Buck and Sunburst to sit in the grass and collect themselves.





This was not Adagio’s definition of a “break”. She had gone to Sugar Cube Corner and found it staffed exclusively by the Cakes. While the man of the house seemed to treat her with professional courtesy, Adagio could taste the glowering disdain of Mrs. Cake coming from the kitchen as she waited for Buck to make an appearance.
It wasn’t until Mr. Cake explained very gently that Buck was out today because he had “gotten real beat up”, and had sent in a picture that confirmed his ragged state that Adagio grew concerned.
In the picture she was shown, Buck looked just as haggard as he had yesterday, but with the added weight of a clearly sleepless night. 
Without even thinking, she found herself idly nibbling on a tart in her car as she drove downtown. Adagio’s feelings had always come second to fulfilling her ambitions, and this was no exception. She simply needed to keep Buck adjacent, even if he wasn’t on her side, it was enough for him to be at her side.
He would still be upset with her, she knew, in fact, she was certain he’d be upset with her for a few years, but she felt compelled to try and communicate with him regardless and explain that he was the lynchpin of her scheme to take down Chrysalis.
Buck was an over-emotional fool, but he was patient and forgiving. He would listen, and then he would understand, and they would go from there. No need for theatrics, this would simply be business. Buck liked things simple, didn’t he?
When did things get so complicated?
Adagio considered her approach for a long while, and before she knew it, her hand was on Buck’s door. Adagio stopped herself before she tried the handle and chose to knock instead.
She heard shuffling feet and tasted a frantic nervousness from under the door.
“Buck? It’s Adagio. I know you’re furious with me. I know that you distrust me, and that’s entirely fair, but I wanted to come by and tell you that I was caught up in the moment last night, and I didn’t mean to-”
The door swung upon, just bit, revealing a familiar set of purple eyes, which at the moment were rattling frantically in Scootaloo’s head.
“Uh…hi Adagio!”
“Ah, Little Birdie. Can you please tell Buck that I’m here to talk with him?”
“W-w-well that’ll be sorta hard, ‘cause he’s not here!”
“Is that so? He must have stepped out for some fresh air. No matter, I’ll just invite myself in and wait for him. I doubt he’ll mind; it’s not like he could get much angrier at me.”
“Wait, wait, wait! Don’t come in! He left me here to uh…watch his place, and, and I kinda made a big mess!”
“His apartment is always a bit of a situation, so I could care less. Move.” Adagio said, pushing on the door.
“Waitaminute!”
“What’s that buzzing noise?”
Adagio easily overpowered Scootaloo, pushing through the threshold to discover a scene made of pure debauchery.
Scootaloo had fallen to the floor, and Adagio could see that two of her orifices were plugged with toys. One of them, a large, knotted shaft was fit snuggly in her backdoor, while the front was playing host to a small assortment of phallic shapes, all of which were vibrating. Scootaloo’s face of flushed red, and she was twitching uncontrollably, radiating an aura of pure embarrassment and sexual gratification. 
“It’s not what it looks like!” Scootaloo stammered.
Adagio looked Scootaloo over, then looked past her to the tableau of sex tools scattered across the couch and coffee table.
“How could it look like anything else?” Adagio grinned. “Do all of these toys belong to you?”
“What? No! No, no, no, these are Buck’s! I f-f-found them under his bed!” 
Scootaloo crab-walked backward, away from Adagio’s advancing stare, but stopped when she bumped the coffee table.
“Ah, that makes sense. Tools of the trade.” Adagio said, with a vicious grin. She casually extended a foot and used it to spread Scootaloo’s knees. “Did you leave the door unlocked, hoping he would come back and find you in this state? Convulsing and dripping all over his carpet?”
“No! I didn’t…I never….no!” Scootaloo squealed.
Adagio took a knee, drinking in Scootaloo’s exquisite mixture of anxiety and pleasure. 
“So the thought never crossed your mind?”
“I…uh…maybe a little?”
“Well…why don’t we wait for him together, hm?”
Adagio reached past Scootaloo’s head and plucked a small cylindrical device from the coffee table. She pressed down on it with a thumb, and it started to vibrate violently.
“Huh? Y-Y-You don’t have to do that…!”
“Oh, I don’t have to do anything. It just so happens I was looking for a snack to go with my early lunch.” Adagio purred. The vibe touched Scootaloo’s clitoris with the slightest contact and she threw her head back and moaned. A thin stream of red energy passed from Scootaloo into Adagio. “You can tell me, of course, if you want me to stop.”
Adagio moved the vibe in small, slow circles, making Scootaloo’s body quake.
“Don’tstopdon’tstopdon’tstop!” Scootaloo squeaked.
“That’s what I thought.”





Dinky Doo left the playground richer by two shiny stones and one cool stick. By the time she slumped into the back seat of Ditzy’s car, she was already asleep. 
Ditzy Doo clicked the safety belt into place and wiped a bit of dirt from Dinky’s face. She shut the door and turned to Starlight Glimmer, who was standing awkwardly nearby with her arms crossed.
“Thanks for walking us to the car, but I’ve got to go. I’m done talking about Buck going on whatever crazy mission you want him to go on.”
“You need to have a conversation with Buck about what he’s going to do. I know you’re scared, but he obviously cares about your opinion, and you should-”
“No, I already know what he would say. You need to help him control his powers so we can get back to living a normal life.”
“Ditzy, there is no ‘normal life’. Not for Buck and not for us. Not anymore!”
“I’m going home.” Ditzy opened the driver’s side door, turning a cold shoulder to Starlight.
“At least talk to him about it, Ditzy! This is important; lives are at stake!”
Ditzy glared at Starlight, then shuddered in her seat. She looked somewhere beyond Starlight’s frown and froze. But then, Starlight saw the old fear in Ditzy’s eyes shift into determination. 
It was a subtle thing, barely a moment, but it was all the difference in the world to Starlight Glimmer.
“You know what? Fine. We can have this talk right now.”
Ditzy got out of the car and waved. Starlight turned and saw Buck coming over the hill. He waved back and picked up his pace, opening his arms as Ditzy ran to him.
“Buck! How did you know I was here?”
“Sunburst told me, babe!”
“Oh, okay. Look, I’m…last night was terrifying, okay? I know that’s not who you are, but that was really scary, and I’m sorry how I reacted, but I want you to know I’m not mad at you, we just need to figure out how to get this under control.” Ditzy Doo hugged Buck tightly.
“Okay? I’m glad!”
Starlight Glimmer stepped over to the pair, a small smile on her face. She was glad at the very least they could work through some of this.
“Buck, I don’t know what Starlight, or Sunburst asked you exactly, but you’re not about to go risking your life again, are you?”
“Huh? No, no, of course not!”
“See!?” Ditzy said to Starlight. She held Buck’s hand, visibly relaxing. 
“Buck, you know how important this is!” Starlight said.
“He said no, Starlight. Buck, do you need a ride home?”
“Yes, that would be good. It was a long walk. Actually, I wanted to speak with Starlight, too.”
“Oh yeah? Well, if it’s magic stuff, we can get to that in the car. Come on, it’s hot out let’s go get a nice glass of lemonade!” Ditzy said, tugging on Buck’s arm.
“Buck, I can’t believe you! We both know you can pull your weight out in the field, and you could be a real asset to the team. Especially after what happened earlier, how can you turn your back on us?” Starlight rounded on Buck.
“Wait, wait, hold on, Starlight. What do you mean after what happened earlier?” Ditzy said.
“Oh, well, Buck and Sunburst-”
“What!? Buck, you weren’t out here getting into trouble with magic stuff, were you!?” Ditzy said.
“What?” Buck blinked, slowly.
“And where’s your necklace? Did you forget it at home again?”
“Ditzy, move!” Starlight shouted, reaching into her pocket.
The slightly confused, slightly bemused expression on Buck’s face peeled off like pudding skin into a sink drain, revealing a fanged black grimace. Buck’s joints popped loudly as he wrenched his arm from Ditzy’s grasp and lunged at Starlight Glimmer like a thirsty tick. 
Its drooling maw tried to work up a glob of slime to paste Starlight’s feet to the ground, but in the space of a second, the changeling’s head was taken clean off by a beam of mana.
The copy Buck slumped to the ground and immediately began dissolving into a puddle of slime. 
Starlight ran to Ditzy and caught her before she could fall.
“Are you okay, Ditzy!?”
Ditzy regained her footing, trying to do the same with her composure.
“No, Starlight. I can’t take this anymore!”
“Ditzy, this is why we have to take down Chrysalis. Until we do, she’s just going to keep sending these grunts to try and catch us off guard. That’s how serious this is!”
The sound of laughing came from nearby. Ditzy and Starlight looked up to see Buck and Sunburst chuckling and chatting their way over the hill.
“Hey man, if I get good at this, we’ve gotta think up some crazy combo moves! That levitating trick would be great at parties!”
“Ah, well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves! We still don’t know what that pink power of yours is!”
“Shit, yeah, that’s true. Any ideas about that?”
“Well, I do have a few theories, but we can get into that later.”
“Hey, as long as we can get a handle on it, that’s all that matters. But hey, you were pretty badass back there!”
“You think so? I don’t think I’ve ever been able to…oh.”
Sunburst and Buck’s conversation came to a sudden halt as they noticed Starlight and Ditzy Doo staring up at them from halfway down the hill.
“Ditzy?” Buck ran to her and stopped just short of embracing her.
“Me? What about you? You look like you got into a fight with a porcupine.” Ditzy said, joylessly.
“Well, I heard you and Dinky were here, and some sorta monster was on the loose so I came over here to make sure you didn’t get hurt.”
“So you got yourself hurt instead?”
“Uh…well…”
“Starlight, did you know? Did you know Buck was out here fighting, while we were talking?” Ditzy said.
“I…wanted to stick around and keep you and Dinky safe while Buck and Sunburst dealt with the problem.” Starlight said.
“How could you?” Ditzy said.
“Muffin, listen, they’re understaffed, like we are at work. What they do is really important, and anyway, as long as you and Dinky are fine, that’s all that matters!”
“What?” Ditzy looked at Buck like she was trapped in a nightmare.
“It doesn’t matter if I get hurt; Sunburst can just heal me up! But if something happened to you or Dinky, I don’t know what I would do!”
Ditzy Doo’s eyes drifted away from Buck’s earnest expression. Her fists were shaking as she tried to find the words, Silver Spoon’s advice echoing in her head.
“Buck, you know something?”
“What?”
Ditzy took a deep breath and took Buck’s hands in hers. She ran her thumbs over the back of Buck’s hands and finally spoke from the heart.
“I love you. I’ve never been more sure of that. We…you make me happy, and you make Dinky happy, and the time we spend together is priceless, and…you’re the closest thing to family that I have.”
“I love you too, Muffin.”
“But I can’t keep doing this. I can’t watch you come home all beat up, and I can’t stay up at night wondering what your magic is going to do to you. Or to me. I can’t live in this world where you keep drifting in and out of being a normal guy and…whatever this is!”
“What are you saying? I can fix this, just give me a little more time!”
“I don’t feel safe around you! I don’t feel safe with you interacting with Dinky if you could turn into a monster at any minute! Until you really deal with your magic, and whatever is going on with the horns and the changelings and, and whatever, I can’t be around you. I won’t sit around just waiting for you to hurt me!”
“I would never hurt you!”
“YOU DON’T KNOW THAT! You can’t know that! Not until you get a handle on this! I know you’re doing your best, but this isn’t working!”
“You’re breaking up with me?”
“No! No, no, no, I love you, Buck! I do! But I just…I can’t be around you right now. We need to take a…a break. Just until all of this crazy stuff is over! Okay?”
Buck’s mouth opened and closed as he tried to respond, but all he could do was inhale sharply. He was trying desperately to hold it in, to say something, anything to make this right, but there was nothing to be said.	Despite how he claimed to be a writer, Buck just couldn’t find the right words.
Instead, he closed his mouth and nodded, letting his hands drop from Ditzy’s.
“I’m sorry, Buck.”
Ditzy turned with tears in her eyes and went to her car. Sunburst and Starlight watched helplessly as Buck raised his arms, stepping forward as if to run and hug Ditzy from the back, but as the engine turned over and the tires squeaked away from the park, Buck’s hands went back down to his sides. 
Sunburst put a hand on Buck’s shoulder.
“Don’t. Just take me home.” Buck said.





The shadows of Center Park slowly lengthened as the sun made its gradual trip across the sky. Less than a minute after an old jeep and an older sedan took different streets to go to the same destination, a sleek black police cruiser slid into the parking lot like a curious alley cat.
It was the kind of ride that was meant to be disguised, so petty criminals wouldn’t see it coming, but everyone knew what model of car the CPD drove, and equally resented how their tax dollars were being used. It could only be more conspicuous if it played its siren.
A pair of eyes obscured by tinted windows and a pair of sunshades had watched Buck, Starlight, and Sunburst leave Center Park, and now the jingling of a pair of handcuffs hung from a belt signaled the arrival of another interloper.
Buck and Sunburst had handled the situation relatively well, but they had been sloppy. They had left a confusion of frantic footprints in the grass, and now that trail was being followed.
A thought was spared to the traffic cameras by the lot; they might have seen something. That would be for later. The first priority was figuring out if this was a crime scene or not. 
A chorus of pigeons greeted the investigator as a copse of trees was examined. It looked like there were footprints here, but they all just sort of disappeared, save for one set. There was evidence that something large had gone down the hill. The trail led across the open plains, where there were more signs of a struggle, culminating in a dumpster that looked like it had been ransacked by someone with rage issues and a crowbar.
Officer Lightning Dust smiled, took some pictures and some notes, then turned and headed back to her car.





Buck sat in the back of Sunburst’s jeep, staring silently out the window. He hadn’t said anything since the ride started. Starlight couldn’t read the expression on his face.
“Well…the good news is, Ditzy is okay with you finishing the job. You might even get some insight into your powers while we’re dealing with Chrysalis!” Starlight tried.
Sunburst patted her thigh and shook his head.
“I didn’t think it’d be so soon,” Buck said. “There’s always somethin’, you know? Somethin’ that I do, or say, or screw up, or somehow light on fire, and then they’re gone, just like that. But Ditzy’s different. She was my friend, first. She knows me. I really didn’t think it would be this soon, you know?”
“She said it was a break. It’s probably healthier for you two to take some time to figure things out.” Sunburst said.
Starlight saw red sparks fizzle around Buck’s head.
“She fucking hates me, now.” Buck said.
The car stopped, and Buck got out but stopped a few paces from the jeep.
“Do you know when you’re goin’ after the bug bitch?”
“We were going to decide that after talking to you.” Starlight said.
“Fine. Make it Tuesday.”
“We’ll come and pick you up early. Maybe before the sun comes up. We’ll brief you on the way to the mountains.” Starlight said.
“That’s fine.” 
“Buck, are you going to be alright?” Sunburst said.
Buck’s shoulders slumped.
“Don’t ask me that, man,” Buck said and started what seemed like the longest climb upstairs of his life. 
Buck dragged his heavy feet up to the second floor. He thought very hard about knocking in Ditzy’s door, but he knew better by now. 
Instead, he turned the doorknob to his own little slice of poverty, then came to a dead stop in the middle of the threshold. Buck saw what would have been an incredibly welcome sight not too long ago.
Scootaloo was moaning against Adagio’s hand as the siren slid a knobby toy in and out of her tiny, wet snatch. Adagio’s expression was one of wicked glee as Scootaloo quivered in her grasp, but then the two of them looked up and saw Buck.
Buck’s second head came to life, insisting that now the was time to cut loose, to relax and have some god damned fun for once and damn the consequences, but the feeling was taken over by the image of Ditzy turning away from him in tears.
“Buck?” Adagio said, letting go of Scootaloo and rising to her feet. “First of all, welcome home. Second, I know you’re upset with me, and that this scene is a bit odd, but I’d like to offer a different deal. I’d actually like to speak with you and Ditzy both.”
Buck’s dull shock changed slowly. Adagio couldn’t taste him. It was like he was buried underground or far away. Buck looked at Scootaloo, then at Adagio.
“Get out.” Buck croaked.
“Buck, I know this is unexpected, but I really think we can-”
“GET OUT!” Buck stomped his foot and the whole apartment shook. The outline of a pink, horned demon blazed over Buck’s face as he screamed.
Scootaloo scrambled to her feet, pulling her skirt back up. She waddled over to the patio, thought better of jumping off it, then hobbled out the door on her crutch. Buck was pretty sure some of his toys were still inside her.
Adagio didn’t move a muscle. Her eyes were wide. A hand covered her mouth, and there was an unmistakable blush on her face. Buck stepped past her and sat on the couch.
“Buck?” Adagio said. She had the tiniest, thinnest smile on her face.
The pink demon disappeared.
“Just leave me alone. Please.” Buck whimpered.
Adagio nodded slowly and left the apartment.
Buck reached the coffee table. It was a mess of sex toys, most of which he’d gotten on the extreme cheap, but he didn’t want any of them right now. Instead, he grabbed his changeling stone necklace and put it around his neck, then headed to his bedroom to sit at the edge of his bed.
He stared at his closet with dull eyes. He saw the fluffy pink scarf hanging there.
With no one left to judge him, tempt him or comfort him, Buck’s tears finally came.




> ((Explicit)) Bonus Chapter - Hold Me (Steam Powered Giraffe)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was several weeks and a few arguments earlier. 
In the space between study sessions, Buck took a frankly fucking fantastic nap. Adagio’s bed was the most luxurious thing Buck had ever slept on, and the result was the kind of sleep he’d been chasing since he started school. It was a dreamless, empty sleep; no thoughts, no worries, nothing but peace until it came to a literal screeching halt. 
The hour turned over, and Buck’s phone screamed its alarm until Buck managed to knock it off the bedstand.
“Stupid time…why’d we even fuckin’ invent time? It sucks.” Buck grumbled, rubbing his eyes. He dragged his feet through the threshold of Adagio’s bedroom and found she wasn’t quite where he left her.
She was standing across the room, leaning against a section of wall that was covered floor to ceiling in antique weapons which seemed to begin in medieval times and end before automatic firearms.
In one hand, Adagio held what Buck recognized as one of her journals. In the other, she held a polished rapier, which she was examining with rigor. There was an unmistakable look of loss in her eyes.
“You okay?” Buck said.
“I’m just fine, Buck.”
“Where’s that from?” Buck said. “Is it, uh…German?” 
“It’s a rapier, Buck. They come from Spain.” Adagio said.
“Did that one specifically come from Spain?”
“I couldn’t say.”
“Can I take a look at it?”
Adagio held the sword out to Buck, but when he reached to take it, she smacked his hand.
“You may look.” 
Buck examined the blade. The basket around the hilt was like ribbons of fine steel. Adagio slid the blade into its sheath, and Buck noticed that there was an image of a dolphin in silver on the side.
“How do you feel about swords, Buck? Do you like them?”
“I mean, I was a teenage boy once, so definitely had a sword phase, or would have if I could afford ‘em. Swords are alright I guess, but I’ve always been more of an axe man, myself.”
“Oh? I’m sure you and Aria would get along famously. She’s an absolute fiend for axes.” Adagio smiled.
“Yeah, I can see that. Are all of these hers?” Buck said, his eyes drifting up as he took in the display. 
“Most of them belong to Aria, yes, though some of them are mine and some are Sonata’s. I’m quite fond of swords, actually, especially the kind with exquisite ornamentation.”
“Why’s that?”
“I too am something beautifully honed and frequently coated in blood.” Adagio’s grin grew sharp as she finally looked up at Buck. 
“Uh…is that your version of a joke?”
“Do you think its a joke, Buck?”
“Nope, not goin’ there.”
“Oh, you’re no fun today. Are you ready to get back to studying?”
“Actually…no, I’m not. I was thinking I’d take another hour to wake up, you know? I’m going to hang on the couch for a bit.”
“Do as you please, Buck. I was just taking a moment to reminisce about the old days.” Adagio gingerly placed the sword on its rack, then took a seat on the couch, patting the space next to her with a smile.
“How old are we talking?” Buck said.
“Would you like to guess at my age, Buck?” Adagio said.
“My Dad told me never to guess a girl’s age unless I have a death wish.”
“Wise. Human women are obsessed with it. In truth,  I don’t know my age; not in human years or equestrian years.”
“Really? You don’t know how many birthdays you’ve had?”
“Equestria doesn’t really do birthdays, as I recall it. While ponies will take any opportunity to cavort and make asses of themselves-”
“Hah!”
“--their celebrations usually revolve around an achievement, like getting their cutie mark, which is something like a coming-of-age for them.”
“So what do you celebrate every year, then?”
“Adagio day."
"Are you serious?"
"It’s the one day out of the year that Sonata and Aria call a truce and simply allow me to relax.” Adagio said.
“Oh, cool. What’s the occasion on that one?”
Adagio’s smile dropped. Her eyes roamed back to the wall of arms, and she sat in silence for a moment.
“That’s a bit of a long story. I was just mulling it over when you came into the living room.”
“Well, you’ve got me for the rest of the day.”
“And?”
“Do you wanna tell it to me?”
“You want to listen to me ramble about my past?”
“Well, yeah! I like your stories. They never end up the way I think they will.”
“Story of my life, Buck. Drop the needle over there, and we can begin.” Adagio poured herself a glass of wine as Buck moved to prime up the record player. The title was something in french, and Buck leaned down to squint at it.
“Is this classical?” Buck said. He looked over his shoulder at Adagio and noticed her eyes slip from his form to a journal in her lap. “What?”
“Yes Buck, it’s classical. Go on, then.”
Buck dropped the needle, and the sounds of ancient bows sliding across a legion of violin strings filled the suite. 
Buck sat down, at arm’s length to Adagio, who uncorked a little vial tied to the book’s ribbon.
“It’s nice to see you’ve kept up with your jogging.” Adagio said.
“What?”
“Your legs, Buck.”
“Thanks? What’s in the bottle this time?”
“A mixture of perfume, sea salt, and gunpowder.” Adagio took a sniff over the mouth of the bottle and closed her eyes. She smiled, just a little bit.
“Well, that’s interesting.”
“And you’re sure that you want to listen to me wax poetic about the good old days?”
“Didn’t I spent a whole day on the Boardwalk doin’ that?”
“Fair enough. Will you promise not to interrupt me?”
”I can’t. But I’ll try!”
“Wonderful.” Adagio took a sip of her wine, then another, and stared off at some obscure corner of the ceiling.
“It was ages ago by your standards. Seventeen…something something. Early. We had only been in the human world for a few years, so everything was still new and exotic. Wherever I pointed my ship, there were white beaches and blue waves stretching off to the horizon. Only the most vicious and powerful could sail beyond the horizon and come back alive, and so the world was still small. The girls and I were slowly acclimating to the human world, operating out of a few small sea caves along the top side of Cuba.”
“Like near the gulf?”
“Shh. We would take our little cutter and go up and down the coast. I can remember the sounds of gulls as we got closer to shore. All the lovely little custom ships with their fresh flags and figureheads parading about the Havana Port. We would sail down to Port Royal and spend all our money, then retire to Havana and make it all back. What a time to be alive.”
Buck scratched his chin and squinted.
“Wait, hol’ up, did you say Havana? In the early 18th century?”
“Yes, Buck. Didn’t you just say you wouldn’t interrupt?”
“Yeah, but, you were in sea caves, and running a cutter with only three people. And going to fucking Port Royal!? Is this a pirate story?”
“Yes, Buck, we were pirates, if you want to put it so simply. Haven’t I mentioned this part of my past?”
“Maybe? Just, hold on a sec.” Buck said, getting up.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to get some shots going. You got any rum in here?”
“...in the cabinet next to the refrigerator.”
“Cool, cool. I’m gonna take a shot every time you say something morally dubious.”
“What about training, Buck?”
“Eh, fuck it.” Buck shrugged. He sat next to Adagio with a smile that was immediately reflected on the siren’s face.
“Well, aren’t you excited! I don’t think I’ve seen you glow so much in months!”
“I love a good pirate story! My Dad used to read me Treasure Island before bed! Must’ve heard it a million times! Searching for buried treasure, sword fights on the high seas-”
“Yes, and filth and lice and rickets. If you could get past all of that, I’m sure you’d make an adequate pirate, Buck.” Adagio rolled her eyes.
“Just adequate? Come on, ‘dagio, I can do sea shanties and everything!”
“I believe you. Now, can I continue?”
Buck nodded and put a finger to his lips.
“So, as I was saying. The girls and I were visiting the island of New Providence so that we could plan our next move. At the time, the township of Nassau was the base of the confederacy of crooks known as the Republic of Pirates. It was a lively town, where life was cheap and the drinks were cheaper. A true testament to freedom and independence.”





The Republic of Pirates was a slowly unfolding disaster, where one was more likely to trip over a fist fight than a crack in the road. Those that visited the port were the bastardous scum of the earth, and those that stayed in the port were also that, but missing too many limbs to work on a boat.
“This place smells like poop and gunpowder!” Sonata said.
“Human settlements always end up like this eventually. Disgusting.” Aria grumbled.
“Live with it. We’re here for a reason.” Adagio said, stepping around a puddle of something in the street.
Adagio was wearing a dark purple tricorn hat atop her waist-length orange curls and a loosely tied bodice over a dress she’d adjusted to stop at her knees. Sonata had opted for a mariner’s jacket with a ruffled cravat, her blue hair in a low ponytail, and Aria kept things simple, preferring a pleated Havana shirt and a green bandana that kept her purple tresses out of her face.
“Is it to catch the clap? Because I think everyone around here is way ahead of us.” Aria sneered in the direction of an alley that was playing host to a small crowd of men and one or two prostitutes. They were separated from the street by little more than a tarp pulled across the gap in the buildings.
“We’re here to gather information, preferably quickly. Our first order of business is finding a bar.” Adagio said. Despite her even tone, her face was twisted in revulsion at the irritating sights, sounds and smells surrounding her.
“Where would we find a bar?” Sonata said.
“Anywhere. It’s a pirate town, you idiot.” Aria groaned.
“I thought a pirate town would have a buncha music halls, ‘cause they’re always singing shanties and stuff!”
“Ain’t no music halls around here, love. How about I direct ye to our ship instead?” Said a gravely voice.
The Dazzlings turned and saw the small group of chuckling scallywags exit the alley. The one at the head was a broad, gruff man with grayish skin and a scar across his face. He had a long black goatee and a variety of tattered belts that seemed barely capable of holding his leathers together. He pointed a grime-covered pistol at the Dazzlings with one hand while holding a parchment poster in the other.
It bore a crude likeness to the Dazzlings, but with certain details embellished. Sonata, marked as “The Stingray” looked like a healthy young man, “The Mad Barracuda,” Aria looked a bit more like a rabies-stricken dog than a grown woman, and Adagio, listed as “The Sea Witch” was drawn with her curly hair covering her entire face, save for a row of sharp teeth.
“Word is there’s been some barmy lasses riding up and down the main. Some says they’s young women, some says they’s monsters in disguise, but all agree that they cause trouble. Trouble fer both the traders and honest blokes like mesself. Quite a price on yer ‘eads from either end, far as I sees it. Y’see what that says?” The man pointed to the words at the bottom of the page.
“What's it say? I don’t know how to read German!” Sonata said.
“That’s Latin, Sonata.” Aria said.
“It’s Spanish. When are you two going to start taking my lessons seriously?” Adagio said.
“Studying is lame.” Aria said.
“Books are hard!” Sonata said.
“It says ye’re worth a hundred shillings a piece fer crimes ‘gainst the Spanish colonies. The ‘Mermaid Sisters’. That’s you, innit?” The man said.
“One hundred shillings!? Is that all we’re worth? Villainy is such a tight race in this world…and look at how they’ve butchered my good looks.” Adagio tsked.
“Aw, that’s okay, sis! We just have to hit a big score! Then everyone will know our names!” Sonata says.
“I think we should go kill some British officers and get loud about it. No one’s gonna know us if we keep running away in the middle of fights.” Aria said.
“I told you, it’s best to get out during the chaos. That way, we can carry a boatload of loot without drawing any extra attention. No one can chase us if they’re getting blown away by cannon fire.” Adagio said. 
“I guess.” Aria said.
“But Sonata’s right.” Adagio said.
“Impossible!” Aria said.
“If we’re to establish ourselves as the most fearsome crew in the Caribbean, our next performance will need to be spectacular. Especially after our last engagement went so poorly.” Adagio said.
“Excuse me, pretties, but I was talkin’.” Said the guttersnipe.
“Are you still here? If you know who we are then you already know you’re outmatched, mister…”
“Cratus.”
“We don’t have time for you, so if you’ll excuse us, we’d rather be doing anything else right now.” Adagio said, flipping her hair. She turned to walk away, then heard a click as the pistol’s hammer was pulled back.
“Sorry, lady, but you and yer little nunnery here are comin’ with us. See, I’m in the trade of peddlin’ exotic freight, savvy? If you three’re mermaids like people say, I figure we can sell you off for more’n a hundred shillings in the New World. And if you’re not, well, ye can always earn yer keep by entertainin’ the crew.” Cratus said.
As if on cue, his crew shared brutish laugh.
“Some things never change.” Adagio sighed. “Aria?”
The man gave a strangled cry as the pistol and the hand holding it were crushed into a mess of bone, blood, wood, and metal. The rest of the rapscallions drew their blades.
“Adagio? Can I?” Aria looked at Adagio with an innocent smile, blood dripping from her hand.
“Yes, Aria, go ahead and have your snack.” Adagio said.
Aria cracked her neck. She began to hum a little shanty while Cratus whimpered on his knees, cradling his destroyed hand.
“You’re all gonna be bloody fucking toilets for the crew! Get her, boys!” Cratus said.
A thin stream of green energy trailed out of the group of brigands, toward Aria. Adagio saw the lines of Aria’s exposed arms become more defined, her muscles growing just a bit. Her hand went to the hatchet she kept at her side.
“Let one escape so he can tell of it later.” Adagio said.
"Right!"
Aria was upon them in an instant, barreling into the alleyway like a cannonball. 
Nothing could prepare the men for the brutality waiting for them at the end of Aria's hatchet, but the shouts and squabbles of the town covered up their screams.
A pool of blood ran slowly out into the street, to the knees of the ringleader, who looked into the dark of the alley with horror on his face.
“What the hell bloody hell are you?” Cratus said, but it was like an ant speaking to a crocodile.
“Ooh! Ooh! Can I have this one!?” Sonata said.
"You can question it, yes." Adagio said.
"Okay, be right back!" Sonata said, waving her hand merrily into the alley, dragging Cratus along by the collar.
“Wait, wait, wait, I’ll tell you anything you want to know! Ask me anything!”
“What’s the capital of Jamaica?” Sonata laughed.
“What!?” The man kicked his feet, trying to pry himself free, looking at Adagio in panic.
“Pertinent questions, Sonata! Names, dates, hearsay around town! Ask him about The Griffon.”
“Okay, sis!”
“No, no, you putrid fucking whore! I’ll get you for this, I swear it!” The man screamed as Adagio waved at him.
“And Sonata?”
“Yeah, sis?”
“Take your time.”





“Mother of fuck.” Buck said, throwing back a shot.
“Oh, what’s this? Sympathy for looters, thieves and rapists?”
“No, it’s just, sometimes I forget how scary you can be.” Buck said. “What did Sonata do to that guy?”
“I never ask.” Adagio said.
Buck took another shot.
“Buck, if you drink every time I bend the rules of your petty morality, you’ll be inebriated within the hour.”
“Yeah, well…I’ll just call Sunburst to take me home if it gets that bad.”
“I could take you home, Buck.”
“I don’t think Ditzy would like that very much." Buck said.
"Hmph." Adagio frowned loudly and seethed silently.  
"So what happened with your last scuffle?” Buck said.
“My what?” Adagio said.
“You said something about your last whatever going bad.”
“Ah, yes. We were in the middle of our usual escapades when we were interrupted. It was nothing all that interesting, but our last bit of heist work was thwarted by a surprise guest.” Adagio said, with a knowing smile.
“How is that not interesting!? I wanna hear about it!”
Adagio had pulled her feet up onto the couch, and Buck didn’t seem to notice her lounging in such a way as to let her legs lay across his lap.
“If you insist.” Adagio said. “It was a few months prior. We were in the midst of a classic strategy aboard a British trading vessel. We bought passage with a bit of coin and came aboard in disguise.”
“Lemmie guess. Traveling performers?”
“How did you know?”
“And then you sing a lil’ ditty that drives everyone on board slightly insane, and then once they start beating the shit out of each other, you take all their stuff.”
“Oh, you’re taking all the fun out of this! How did you know that was the plan?”
“I’m starting to pick up on your M.O. This sounds like classic Dazzling fuckery.”
“Are you saying we’re predictable?”
“Nah, nah. Y’all’re just real good at causin’ mass hysteria. I wonder how many murderous mutinies and cannibal crew stories came from you three just fuckin’ about.”
“You make it sound so slapdash! There is an art to riling up a crowd, I’ll have you know.”
“I do know. You forget where I’m from?” Buck said. 
Adagio couldn’t tell if that was meant to be a jocular or grim observation.
“Funny you should mention that.” Adagio said.
“It is?”
“Well, it’s an amusing coincidence.”





The HBMS Crystal was an audacious brig with pure white sails and a polished deck, under which the sounds of revelry could be heard. 
As far as Adagio understood, it was mainly a pleasure cruiser, which was why it was currently anchored next to a steep and unchartable island in the middle of the night instead of hurrying along a current. Despite how frivolous the ship’s purpose was, it had an outstanding reputation for arriving on time no matter the cargo.
The Siren Sisters had just finished playing for a room filled with pale fops and wealthy nobles. Now they were in their meager dressing room, preparing for the next stage of their plan.
There was a knock on the door, and then it opened before Adagio could give permission. Adagio grabbed the knob and stopped the door from swinging in.
“Just a moment! We’re changing!” Adagio said.
“Oh, please. Its not as if there’s anything in this room I haven’t seen.” Said an uppity voice.
“As if you could." Adagio muttered.
"What was that?"
"I said, we have very few luxuries on this ship, but privacy is one of them. What can I do for you, captain Cinch?” Adagio said through the cracked door.
“That’s commodore.”
Caliper Cinch was more of a walking knot than a man; constantly glaring down his nose at everything in his vicinity as if it were a scuff on his shiny boots. He had pale blue skin and dark purple hair beneath a powdered wig, and he spoke with a voice that was high, brit, and consistently annoying. His resplendent blue and gold uniform bespoke a stuffy perfectionist mindset, and the decorations upon it were participation trophies, as far as Adagio knew.
“I’ve come to deliver your stipend. I’d like to personally thank the three of you for your performances. You’re the scuttlebutt of the whole ship.”
“We’re the butt of the what?” Sonata said.
“Everyone aboard is talking about you. I’ve even received a few offers of coin to have you perform privately.” Cinch said.
“You can tell your scuttlebutt that we’re not for sale; just our musical talents.” Adagio said, holding her hand out.
“I thought as much. The three of you seem to have a respectable understanding of your worth; a certain virtue in these waters. Here you are.”
Commodore Cinch dropped a jingling cloth sack into Adagio’s hand. She shook it gently and frowned.
“This feels a bit light. Are we not worth paying the amount we agreed on?”
“That’s five pounds.”
“We have been on this voyage for months, and we agreed on eight pounds at halfway and eight more at the dock.”
“Yes, well, this amount takes into account the lodgings we provided, as well as the luxurious witney blankets you demanded, the extra weight of your jollyboat-which we are hauling for you-not to mention the amount of food that your companions have eaten. Frankly I have no idea how you maintain your figures.”
“Trade secret.” Adagio smirked. “But those services only amount to two pounds at most, and the blankets are more of an investment on your part.”
“We’ll call the rest a bit of interest, just in case we have to answer to any more of your whims.”
“This was not part of our arrangement, Commodore. You must know we’re worth more.” Adagio said.
“I’d advise you to know your place. Goodnight, ladies.” Cinch shut the door. Adagio waited until the obnoxious jangling of his medals faded away.
“Ugh. Penny-pinching blowhard.” Adagio said. She turned and regained her smile as Sonata stuffed a sack with the aforementioned fine witney sheets.
“So we’re just gonna do what we always do? Stir up some trouble and then rob them blind?” Aria said, swapping from her ruffled finery to the functional seafarer’s garb the dazzlings had brought aboard.
“And have a snack at the same time?” Sonata said.
She reached under their shared bed, tossing weapons to their bearers. For Sonata, a whip, for Aria a hatchet, and for Adagio a polished rapier.
Adagio opened the door and peaked into the ship’s hall. No lookouts.
“We’ll stop doing it when it stops working. We’re as far from british patrols as we’re going to get on this trip, and I’ve got intel that our dear Commodore Finch is hiding a truly illustrious prize in his quarters. Tonight, we sing our last song, and this glorified barge becomes a ghost ship. Do you know your roles?” 
“I’ll go up to the crow’s nest and keep singing to make sure that everyone stays mad!” Sonata said.
“Excellent. Aria?” 
“I’ll get the dinghy down and kill anyone who tries to take it back.” Aria said.
“Meanwhile, I’ll clear the captain’s quarters of any valuables. I’ll also check the storeroom for any light supplies as well as the kitchen. I saw how much you enjoyed the steamed pudding and figs, Aria. “ Adagio said.
“Aria’s got a sweet tooth! Aria’s got a sweet tooth! Don’t eat too much or you’re gonna get pudgy!” Sonata teased. Aria slapped Sonata’s poking hands away, blushing.
“You’re the worst, Sonata!”
“No, you are!”
“Enough! The only people that should be on deck are the night guard and the helmsman. Once we take the deck, we’ll start the show.” 
The Siren Sisters crept up to the deck on light feet.
Adagio held an arm out, and after a moment, a deck hand with a lantern passed by. As soon as the coast was clear, Aria slunk across the deck, hopped in the dingy, and lopped the rope with her hatchet. Sonata was up the rigging in moments. 
Adagio leaned on the wall next to the door to the captain’s quarters and opened her mouth to sing, but the first note caught in her throat.
There was a shape out on the water. Adagio pulled the spyglass she kept on her hip and spied a jollyboat. It was rigged with a sail of white and purple, and it was approaching the Crystal, zigzagging with such sleek poise it looked like it was hovering over the waves instead of gliding upon them. 
Adagio moved quickly, stepping across the deck to tap the lookout on the shoulder.
“Oh, miss! It’s a bit late isn’t it? Having a stroll on the deck are we?”
“Yes, yes, I wanted to stretch my legs. Do you see that?” Adagio pointed at the vessel out in the waves. 
As the lookout turned to gawp at the approaching ship, Adagio drew her rapier and struck him with the pommel. He was unconscious, or close enough in seconds.
Adagio looked up and saw Sonata tilting her head like a puppy. Adagio pointed toward the helm, and so Sonata slid down the rigging, her descent punctuated with a dull thud.
Adagio looked out into the waves. The jollyboat had disappeared. She detected the faint taste of amusement and pride.
Adagio’s steel flashed in one direction, and her sight followed it. 
A silhouette stood just beyond the tip of Adagio’s blade. It wore a pair of blades at the hip and a wide-brimmed hat with a pair of long red feathers set in the band. Their face was shrouded in the hat’s shadow, but Adagio could see the outline of a long, beakish nose and a pair of dull red eyes that squinted in recognition.
“...I know you! You’re the sea witch!” It sounded boyish and excited, but the silhouette was at least a head and a half taller than Adagio.
“If you know me, why did you think you could sneak up on me?” Adagio pressed the blade against the figure’s throat.
“Thought you were a swabbie. Now I can see you’re something else!” 
“Haven’t you seen the wanted posters? I’m clearly a monster.”
“I could’ve sworn you were a row of spikes in tree, by those drawings. A shame really.”
“Oh?”
“They show you with a hilariously ugly smile.”
Steel struck steel in the space of a breath. The figure crossed Adagio’s rapier very close with a short cutlass. Their noses were nearly touching. 
Adagio glared at the assailant with toothy-mawed murder.
“Hardly does you justice. Your smile is positively delectable.”
The assailant pushed forward with a shoulder, but Adagio caught herself before she toppled backward, keeping her sword raised.
She blocked a thrust that seemed experimental, almost playful, then spun like a dancer and came at her opponent’s neck with a horizontal slash which the figure swiftly ducked.
“Not a tree then! You move like a dolphin!”
“And what do you know about creatures of the sea?”
“I know that dolphins look fancy from a distance, but the second you try to catch one, they became bastardous little buggers!”
Adagio looked two and fro, and didn’t see any other guards approaching. Excellent.
“If I’m a dolphin, you must be an urchin.” Adagio said.
“A sense of humor! Color me surprised.” The figure chuckled.
Adagio rushed forward with a stab, but the figure batted her blade away effortlessly.
“Oh, you don’t want to do this. My crew and I happen to be entertainers aboard this ship. One scream from me and it's over for you.” Adagio said.
“Do bards in your line of work carry swords?” 
A slow jab, followed by a series of rapid thrusts. Adagio’s blade quivered in her hand as she defended. Her arm was getting sore.
“Only to aid in theatrics! And what are you doing, stowing away at this time of night?” Adagio said.
“A little birdie told me that there was an elusive prize aboard this vessel.” The figure said. 
“Aiming high, are we?” Adagio said, trying to slow down her hammering heart. 
“Oh, and the usual plunder! Supplies, provisions and the like, which I'll be happy to take off your hands once you sheathe your sword!” The figure said.
“You first! I clearly have you beaten for range!”
“Fair enough, love, fair enough!”
The brigand smacked Adagio’s blade aside, then grabbed the strings of her bodice and pulled her in.
“But I’ve always preferred to keep things close and intimate.”
It was a moment. A minuscule second in the life of an immortal, and yet Adagio would never forget it.
The brigand stole a kiss.
“Get off!” Adagio brought around a slap hard enough to send the figure nearly off-balance. He stumbled away, then turned, rubbing his cheek.
“Let’s not get testy, now! I’ll be taking that chest and you can have the rest, what say you?”
“Off to fence the contents, no doubt! Trying to raise funds to upgrade your little boat? Is your crew dissatisfied with the size?”
“My boat is resplendent and very large!”
“Ah, that’s what all the boys say!” 





“Okay, so you’ve always done that thing.” Buck said.
“What thing?” Adagio said.
“That thing where you start talking like a cheesy porn star when you’re put under pressure.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Buck.”
“I guess its a little like James Bond, right? Or like a mortal kombat character.” 
“Who and what?”
“It’s kinda cute.”
“Hush.”





Adagio swiped at the silhouette, who danced with casual ease out of her blade’s reach. Adagio kept moving, trying to pierce her assailant in the side or take a slice out of his wrist. She had to end this quickly, or someone might come up to the deck and notice. That, and she was getting tired.
“How did you know I’m a captain?” The figure said.
“Well, you just told me, for one. That, and you have a fine voice.”
“Oh, very kind.” The assailant chuckled almost bashfully, looking away for a moment. 
Adagio smirked and kicked her opponent’s leg out from under him, but the skulker haphazardly blocked Adagio’s stabs while still on his back.
“Yes, I’ll be sure to relish it when I’m sailing off with all the loot!”
“Well, that means a lot coming from a so-called mermaid.” The figure said, just barely rolling away from a stab to the throat.
“Ugh. If I let you live, would you kindly tell the rest of the world that we’re the Siren Sisters, not mermaids!?”  
“Have you been trying to kill me this whole time? I barely noticed.” The assailant chuckled, and Adagio had to hop back as a silvery flash came for her ankle. 
The assailant was up on his feet, brandishing the cutlass in one hand and a long dagger in the other. 
“I have been toying with you, obviously!”
“Were you?” Buck said, in another time.
“I was not. Do you know how hard it is to learn how to use these things, let alone wield a sword?” Adagio said, wiggling her fingers.
“Bold words for someone who fights like its her third day!” Said the shadowy assailant.
“How dare.” Adagio went for the liver and missed.
“Tis' nothing personal, lass!”
The figure was parrying, dodging, almost prancing around Adagio, gradually pushing her back.
“Oh, I’m more than a match for you! I’ve been crossing swords for years!” Adagio came in with a feint then attempted to trip her opponent again, but had to withdraw as the dagger came for her leg instead.
“Ah, you learn from experience, I see! Just like me!” 
“Don’t insult me, I am leaps and bounds greater than you!” Adagio said.
“Tis’ funny. I was about to say the same thing!” The assailant underhanded the dagger, aiming it at Adagio’s heart, but she managed to step aside as it thudded into the mast behind her. Using that distraction, the shadowy figure produced something small and metallic and blew on it.
A shrill tone echoed through the night, followed by the rumbling of feet coming from below decks.
Adagio wasted no time.
“Eek! It’s a pirate, come to take our precious valuables! Someone help!” Adagio cried, hiding her sword behind her back.
Onlookers spilled onto the deck while the actual crew spilled out just behind them, carrying truncheons and knives.
Adagio made a neck-cutting motion at Sonata, who was just about to lash the assailant with her whip. 
“Now, now, ladies and gentlemen! I recommend you watch your heads! There’s a reason I decided to visit you on such a clear night! Don’t you want to know why?” The figure said, backing slowly toward the edge of the deck with a sword raised.
There was a booming sound, far in the distance.
“It makes it easier to aim!” Said the brigand.
The middle of the primary mast exploded into splinters, and suddenly the world was filled with screams.
Adagio covered her ears as chaos erupted through the crowd around her, a maddening mix of fear and fury. She squinted around and saw the intruder fighting against two or three guards as a galleon with brightly colored sails slid around the island. It announced itself with a broadside volley of cannon fire. 
Through the din, Adagio distantly felt a tap on her shoulder. The ringing in her ears finally gave way to a familiar voice.
“Sis! Sis! What do we do!?” Sonata said.
“We have our distraction! Take in the chaos and come with me to the captain’s quarters!” Adagio said.
Sonata and Adagio pushed through the crowd of panicking nobles, wisps of greenish energy drifting into them, only to be stopped as a door clattered open. The pompous voice of the ship’s captain rose through the crowd.
“What is the meaning of this discord!?” 
When Cinch emerged, fuming red, Adagio gathered her best crocodile tears and took the captain’s hand.
“It’s pirates, captain! Terrible sea dogs! One of them snuck aboard, and now he’s having a row with your guards! They’re coming after us with their broadsides!” Adagio simpered. Captain Finch’s stern expression crumpled. Adagio tasted equal parts panic and excitement.
“Pirates!? My word…which pirates?”
Another report from the cannons shuddered the whole ship.
“Sir, what will you do!?”
“Well, I suppose I’ll need to take charge, then! Men! Apprehend that brigand! Weigh anchor and turn us hard aport! Where’s the helmsman!?” 
With three big distractions stirring up turmoil, Adagio and Sonata were free to loot the captain’s quarters with impunity. 
It was a space filled with British excess; a heavily padded bed with fresh sheets, a table made exclusively to hold a map of the Caribbean, and a wardrobe with fine dresses entirely unfit for a sea-faring journey. Most audacious of all was a wide stern window through which one might observe the sea while standing with a haughty, officious stance. 
“This is about what I expected from Cinch. Let’s get looting.”
Adagio unfurled a burlap sack she kept holstered at her side and passed it to Sonata, who swept everything that looked remotely valuable into it. 
Adagio meanwhile turned her discerning eye to the task of finding the aforementioned chest. 
“Now, if I were a stuffy blue-blooded snot, where would I hide my most treasured possessions?”
Adagio checked behind a portrait of the captain hilariously hanging over the bed. She checked in the desk drawers, and under the bed and then started knocking on the walls in search of hidden compartments, all while the chaos out on the deck grew louder. 
“Look what I found!” Sonata cheered. Adagio turned around to see Sonata holding what appeared to be a large phallic symbol carved from ivory, beset with leather straps. 
“Well, that’s some interesting trivia about Cinch, but not very useful to us. Put it in the bag and keep looking!”
“THEY’RE GOING TO RAM US!” Someone screamed, and then the whole ship lurched. 
Adagio barely dodged a box that crashed from a high shelf and onto the floor. It was belted in bronze and padlocked twice. There was a carving of a coiled serpent on the top. The sounds of fighting broke out onto the deck. The Crystal was being boarded.
“And there’s our prize! Sonata, the window!” Adagio grinned.
“It sure is a nice window!” Sonata smiled blankly.
“Smash it open so we can get out of here!” Adagio groaned.
“Aye aye, Sis!” Sonata grabbed a chair and wound up to smash the window outward, just in time for a booted heel to shatter it inward instead.
A dextrous form hit the floor, then rolled and slammed a foot on top of the treasure chest. There was a cocksure grin on his face and a long, hanging rope in the other which led out into the night.
Now, lit by the candlelight, Adagio caught a real glimpse of the brigand.
Beneath the wide, bright green hat was a face obscured by a masquerade mask fashioned to look like a fierce white-faced eagle with purple feathers around the eye holes. His lithe form was hugged by a tight dark leather peacoat, and his polished boots shone in the candlelight. His eyes were the color of wine, and he was pointing his cutlass at Adagio, who was kneeling to pick up the chest. 
“Hello again. I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. They call me The Griffon; leader of the most fearsome crew in the Caribbean, and I’ll be taking this booty.”





“Woah, babe, that was a lot of adjectives! Do you need a second?” Buck laughed.
“What are you talking about?” Adagio said.
“You’re blushing,’dagio. You must’a been splooshing all over those nice british carpets!”
“Ugh, you’re drunk!” Adagio said, turning her red face away.
“C’mon, tell me, was the the feathers in the hat? The mask?” Buck said.
“Are you into birds? That’s kinda weird!” Scootaloo said, from behind the couch. 
Adagio jumped a little and tried not to laugh.
“What’s wrong with being into birds?” Buck said.
“What, do you like eagles too?” Scootaloo said.
“I mean, I like owls. They’re pretty rad.” Buck shrugged.
“But are you like, into owls, though?” Scootaloo said.
“I mean, it depends on who draws them, I guess?” Buck said.
“Hah! Furry!” Scootaloo said.
“Eh, yeah, lil’ bit.” Buck shrugged.
“Little Birdie, for the second time, these lessons are private!”
“What lesson? You guys are in here talking about butt pirates and ivory butt plugs! And butts!” Scootaloo said.
“Go on, shoo!” Adagio said.
“I’m going, I’m going!” Scootaloo said.
The door shut. Buck tried not to laugh, while Adagio recovered from her blush. She was twirling a lock of hair around her finger.
“Is this funny to you?” Adagio sneered.
“Oh yeah.” Buck said.
“What can I say? We had only been in the human world for a little while, and until then I hadn’t thought of your people as anything other than demons from some fell plane! The Griffon was the first one of you that I found…attractive.” Adagio said.
“Awww…! That’s so sweet! Did you suck his dick?”
“No Buck I did not suck the Griffon’s dick!” Adagio snapped.
“I mean, look, I’m about the last person in the world to judge you for actin' like a dirty pirate hooker.” Buck said, holding an empty shot glass.
Adagio looked at Buck square in the eyes, and emptied her wine glass in one gulp.
“Wow. Do you want me to pour you another?” Buck said.
“So ANYWAY-” Adagio said.





The blades sang. 
Adagio’s arm got more exhausted with each block and parry, whereas The Griffon seemed to be enjoying a bit of light exercise.
“I’m Adagio Dazzle, leader of the D-The Siren Sisters.” Adagio said.
“Yes, I know who you are. I said that outside.” The rogue smiled.
"Oh, well, have you met my sister!?” Adagio laughed.
“Hi, I’m Sonata!”
The Griffon squawked as Sonata’s boot came flying up between his knees.
“Nice…to meet you! This actually hurts!” The Griffon winged. He took a knee and groaned, head down next to the bronze banded chest.
“Not as much as this will, you cocky fop!” Adagio shrieked, lunging forward with a vicious stab.
The Griffon gasped and stumbled away, taking the blade with him, holding his side against the spreading blood as Adagio looked on in shock.





“You stabbed him!?” Buck spluttered, lowering the shot glass from his lips.
“I thought he would dodge it, or parry it like he did all my other strikes!” Adagio said.
“You fuckin’ stabbed the man!?”
“It was an accident!”
“It sounded pretty premeditated to me, lady!”
“What do you expect a girl to do when she’s got a crush?”
“Not fucking stab a man!” Buck said, taking another shot.
“I was young…ish, I was new to this world, and it was a very tense and slightly erotic situation!” Adagio said.
“And I thought head on the first date was outrageous! You are the reason why hat pins went out of style!”  Buck laughed.
“With the men you have walking around today, first date stabbings will make a resurgence any day now!” Adagio said.
“Geez, I hope so.” Scootaloo said.
“GET OUT!” Adagio screamed.





The Griffon stumbled backward, holding his blade out, bleeding on the chest.
“Adagio, you stabbed him!” Sonata said.
“I am aware!” Adagio said.
“What do we do now?” Sonata said.
“He’s obviously outnumbered. If he knows what’s good for him, he will recognize his place and surrender.” Adagio recovered.
“Oh, The Griffon doesn’t surrender. Personal rule.” The Griffon grunted.
“I hear that talking in the third person is a symptom of blood loss. If you don’t throw your blade down now, you may just lose the rest.” Adagio said.
“You sound like a nurse! If I start to bleed out, will you give me a close examination, love?” 
“I’ll examine your insides if you don’t cut the banter, scum.” Adagio growled.
“Ooh, threaten me with a good time!” The Griffon pulled his whistle again, then blew on it three times. Sonata cringed, expecting another broadside volley, but there simply wasn’t one.
“Is that supposed to scare us?”
“Well, I don’t know. How do you feel about birds?”
“I like birds!” Sonata said.
There was a distant shriek, and then a flurry of pale feathers assaulted Sonata’s head.
“AAGHH! I don’t like birds anymore!” Sonata wailed, frantically flailing her arms around.
“Arrk!  No quarter, no quarter!” The bird said.
“What is that? What have you done!?” Adagio said.
“I’ve just ensured that we won’t be interrupted. Now, take this!”
Adagio cringed as The Griffon pulled a second cutlass from his belt. With a flick of the wrist, the cutlass sunk into the floor in front of Adagio.
“You can’t be serious. I’ve already stabbed you!”
“And you think that means the fight is over?” The Griffon brought his blade around, Adagio frantically raising the one she was given to intercept.
“Why would you give me this!?” Adagio said.
“Just a bit of fair play, love! Ever heard of it!?”
Despite the sword through his side, The Griffon struck with a ringing ferocity, smiling the whole time as he systematically turned away Adagio’s frantic counters.
Adagio’s eyes flicked to Sonata’s struggle against a frenzied flying creature, and in that moment, the sword was smacked from her hand.
Adagio tried to punch at the man’s face, but he kicked her in the stomach, pushing her back to the wall.
“Disappointing, little dolphin! Try harder!” The Griffon said, turning away.
Gills rose on Adagio’s neck. Her teeth sharpened, her nails lengthened and she felt a boiling fury rise behind her eyes. She screeched, lunging at The Griffon, ready to bite his damn throat out, but then she felt a slashing pain in  the side of her shoulder. Her sleeve was pinned against the wall by a dagger.
“Come on, love! Is this really how a captain of your esteem fights?” The Griffon said. Adagio took a breath, then smirked.
“No. This is! ARIAAAA~”
Adagio’s voice reverberated through the whole of the ship. It was followed by the sounds of screams and splashes, then heavy footfalls approaching the door.
“What is that, a wild boar?” The Griffon said.
“Something like that.” Adagio said. 
There was a creaking thud, then another, then another. The door crunched and buckled.
“What kind of infernal beast do you keep!?”
The crashing got louder.
“Oh, for the love of--Aria, it’s unlocked!” 
The door clicked, then slammed open to reveal a threshold to hell. 
Aria’s eyes flicked from the red on Adagio’s shoulder to the sea dog that caused it. The hatchet she held creaked in her hand, and her eyes began to glow with a blood red fury. 
“I’M GOING TO EAT YOUR HEART!” Aria roared.
“Annnd that’s my cue to leave! Cali!” 
The Griffon bravely ran for his life and limb, and at his command the feathery hellion that was assaulting Sonata flew out the wrecked window ahead of him.
“Thassa….meeeean birdie!” Sonata groaned, wobbling with delirium, rubbing her scratches. 
“Sonata, get him!” Adagio barked. 
“I’m on it!” Sonata said, waddling blindly across the floor.
Adagio tried to pry the dagger from her sleeve, but found that the tip was stuck fast to the wall. She hummed a little tune, reaching out to the sea outside as The Griffon grabbed the very rope he swung in on.
“It’s been an experience, loves, truly it has! I do hope you’ll remember the day that you crossed blades with–”
“RAAAAAGGGGHH!!!” Aria charged, her swinging hatchet shattering everything it touched. The Griffon tugged on the rope deliberately, then frantically as he dodged and parried Aria’s assault.
“I’ve got him, Sis, I’ve got him!” Sonata said, stumbling into Aria’s path.
“Sonata get out of the way!” Aria screeched as the two collided.
“...Capta-AAAAAGH!” The rope yanked the sea dog bodily out the destroyed window and up into the air.
Adagio finally got the dagger free, humming a frantic tune as she ran to the window. Below, the sea stirred and rose in thin tendrils, then dropped back into the depths as Adagio ran out of this world’s anemic mana.
Above, the ship with the multicolored sails began to pull away, hauling The Griffon onto the deck with a brisk pace. The rope was still extending into the room. Adagio followed the line with her eyes, only to realize that the captain’s rope was tied around the handle of the bronze banded chest.
“Wait, what is- girls, get the chest!”
Sonata and Aria dived, only managing to bump their heads together as the chest was yanked across the floor, tripping Adagio onto her ass before being swiftly hauled onto the deck of the retreating pirate ship. The Griffon, still holding the sword in his side, flashed a triumphant grin.
“As I was saying! I hope you’ll remember the day you crossed blades with The Griffon!” 
*THUNK*
Aria’s hatchet buried itself in the railing, right next to the brigand’s hand, causing him to shrink back and out of sight.
Adagio got to her feet with a groan, rubbing her backside.
“He seems nice!” Sonata waved at the ship with a smile until Aria thumped her on the head.
“Don’t wave at him! He stabbed Adagio and stole our loot!”
“He didn’t steal a lute! He just stole the chest!”
“He wouldn’t have stolen anything if you weren’t in here being the worst!” Aria said.
“No, you are!”
“Quiet!” Adagio said, pushing Sonata and Aria apart, leaning out the window. “We’ve clearly lost first prize today, but that doesn’t mean we can’t get it back. Let’s go collect our effects, get back to the Hammer and plan our counterattack.”
“What are we going to do to them?” Sonata said.
“The same thing we always do, probably.” Aria said.
“We’re going to take that chest back. Then, I’m going to defeat that idiot in a proper duel for embarrassing me with the blade.”
“What.” Aria said.
“And then we’re going to make his crew kill each other and leave him marooned on some pathetic little spit of land as far away from shore as possible.” 
Aria smiled and nodded. Sonata smiled blankly, as usual. 
Captain Finch presumably came in and asked why her quarters were a disaster, but by then the Dazzlings were long gone.





“Wow, I wasn’t expecting you to tell a story where you don’t win.”
“I win in all of my stories, Buck. In some I win later rather than sooner.”
“....what about the story of your life?”
“Oh, I’m winning, Buck. You just don’t see it.”
Buck glanced at the probably expensive bathrobe that Adagio was wearing, then the almost certainly expensive alcohol on the coffee table, then the obviously exorbitantly expensive suite they were sitting in.
“Naw, pretty sure I see it. Those’re really cute slippers. Those silk?” Buck slurred. 
“Yes they are, Buck. Are you alright? Have you had enough rum?”
“I’m inclined to say no, but I’m also inclined to do this.”
Buck started to flop over, caught himself, then carefully reoriented himself to lay his head in Adagio’s lap as if it were a perfectly normal thing to do. 
Adagio blinked and tilted her head, looking down at Buck’s contented expression before letting her hand drift down to stroke his hair. She heard no objection.
“This’s nice.” Buck said.
“As I was saying. Some victories take a bit of time in development, and that was the case here.” Adagio said.
“He kind of kicked your ass a little.”
“The Griffon embarrassed me in a contest of blades and wit, and I was not about to take that sitting down.”
“Wait, how long were you studying fencing?”
“I wasn’t. I already told you, my skill with the sword was in its infancy, as was my skill with hands, fingers, and legs.”
“Okay, so why’d you get mad when you got beaten if you were still super new?”
“It’s the principle of the thing, Buck. Adagio Dazzle excels at everything she touches. Adagio Dazzle does not suffer defeat without reciprocity.”
“Hey, didn’t you say third-person talk is a sign of blood loss? Is it your time of the month?”
Adagio slapped Buck on the cheek. 
“Okay, okay, don’t hit!” Buck laughed and reached for another shot, but Adagio swatted his hand. 
“No. I’m cutting you off.” Adagio smiled.
“Fair enough! What happened next?”





Back in Nassau, the Dazzlings sat in a noisy, dingy little bar. There was a gallery of absolute scum on display, populating every stool and poorly made wooden chair in the vicinity, and there was a spittoon by the door that appeared to be developing a living culture. 
“So why did Sonata do all those…Sonata things to that guy in the alley?” Aria said.
“His name was Kratos, or something! “ Sonata said. “He said that the Griffon’s been doing piratey stuff for a little longer than we have, and he’s supposed to be like reeeally good with a cutlass, and he likes to take on big british ships, and his ship’s name is the Harpist’s Labia!”
“The Harpies’ Labrys, Sonata.” Adagio said.
“Right! What you said! That’s what I meant! To say!” Sonata said.
“Ugh. So we got the name of the ship. So what?” Aria said.
“So, we know what it looks like, and we can check for the name. That means we can find it when it arrives here.” Adagio said.
“What makes you think they’ll show up here?” Aria said.
“Call it a hunch. They were heading north from near Black Point, they just finished a raid, and they’re probably low on provisions.” Adagio said.
“How do you know?”
“Pirates are always low on provisions. There’s only one place they could go to escape from the law long enough to resupply, and that’s right here in the Republic of Pirates. Now we just have to wait.
“Ughhh! I hate waiting! Wake me up when we can have a fight or a meal, or something actually interesting.” Aria groaned and put her feet up on the table. 
“Actually, Aria, I thought this might interest you. Sonata, didn’t that Cratus creature say something interesting about moving goods? Remind me, where was he taking them?” Adagio said.
“Oh yeah! I asked him where he was going in the New World! It’s this new town at the top of the gulf! It was called, uh…um…New Horseleans!” Sonata said.
“It’s fertile ground for enterprising individuals. An experiment in statesmanship, far away from the arm of the British navy. I hear it's a paradise of wild game, and a beacon to any intrepid entreprenuers looking to seek their fortune.”
“And! It’s French!” Sonata said, wiggling her eyebrows.
“So what?” Aria grumbled, but a small smile had crept onto her face.
“So what? How do you feel about becoming wealthy parishioners in a burgeoning township? A place that at this early stage is sure to be teeming with ' brave adventurers’ in the form of wealthy, half-senseless third sons from France, fresh for exploitation? The stepping stone to the New World, which is sure to be embroiled in conflict as soon as the great and good begin dividing up its lands? A place where we can set up a base right out in the open, right in the front row to the stage of history and live on our own terms. Now, does that sound boring to you?”
“It doesn’t sound like a meal.” Aria said.
“Use your imagination. A bunch of wealthy nobles competing to rake up as much land as possible. Greedy, ignorant fools competing in a constant pissing contest, working their slaves to the bone, conflict and hatred stewing between them, but amplified by a new space, free of accountability. A recipe for violence, in other words. Meals.” Adagio said.
At that, Aria smiled wide.
“And once we establish a proper foothold there, we can finally begin amassing power in earnest while I figure out how to get us home.” Adagio said.
“Okay, I’m in.” Aria said.
“Well, duh!” Sonata said.
Aria pushed Sonata, who pushed her back, and back and forth until Adagio unrolled a map on the table and stuck a dagger through it.
“New Horseleans is there, at that delta  on top of the Gulf. Notice the distance?”
“It’s suuuuper far away!” Sonata said.
“Yes. While we could go around the horn of the keys and up the coast, the chances of us making the trip without being spotted, in unfamiliar waters against shores controlled by the Spanish are slim to none. The shortest route is through the gulf, but we lack the provisions. Which means…?” Adagio said.
“We steal them.” Aria said.
“I was gonna say that!” Sonata whined.
“Yes, we steal them. I’d also like to get our hands on the treasure we lost to that bird brained buffoon. So we’re here. When they arrive in port, Aria and Sonata; you two will assault the crew, and I’ll defeat the captain in a sword duel.”  Adagio said.
“But you lost your sword! It’s in that Griffon guy!” Sonata said.
“So I’ll steal another one, and then defeat him.” Adagio said.
"Ugh, why are you so obsessed with him? He’s just a human; why don’t you just let me lop his head off?” Aria said.
“Maybe it’s because his hat is fancier than hers?” Sonata said.
“It’s not the hat.” Adagio said.
“Well, he sounded young and pretty! Maybe she’s got a crush!” Sonata stage whispered.
“I am not attracted to these filthy, disgusting creatures!” Adagio barked.
“Okay, sorry…” Sonata quieted.
“Yeah, Sonata, she’s not a freak like you.” Aria said.
“So if you don’t want him, can I have him?” Sonata said, perking up.
“Once I’ve subdued the captain, we’ll cast a song that will convince the crew to load their loot and supplies into our cute little cutter. After that, we’ll depart for the New World. Two birds, one stone.” Adagio said. 
“How long do we have to wait, Sis?” Sonata said, practically bouncing in her seat.
“Oh, a few months, possibly. In the meantime, we need to go around and collect as much mana as we can from the rabble around here; otherwise, our song won’t work. That means one last little stretch to beat some faces in-” Adagio gestured to Aria, who nodded. “-and to do…whatever you like doing with humans, Sonata. 
“Really, really!?” Sonata beamed.
“As long as you store some mana as you feed yourself, I couldn’t care less what you do to them. This is Nassau. They won’t be missed.”
The doors to the tavern slammed open, shocking the rabble into silence. A stubby-looking reprobate wearing slightly tattered clothes and a green armband addressed the patrons in an obnoxiously loud voice. 
“Presentiiiing! The diving hawk of the seas, the saviest swashbuckler to ever live, the legendary masquerader of the Spanish main, The Griffon!”
A half-full bottle shattered against the wall, and the tavern jeered as the masked buccaneer and what looked like his whole crew swaggered in. He was notably unpunctured and in seemingly high spirits.
“A round on me, lads!” The Griffon said, and the jeers got louder and rowdier.
The sirens huddled at their table, not showing their faces.
“Well, that moves things up a bit, doesn’t it?” Adagio said.
“What do we do? We don’t have enough juice to mess with them!” 
“And you still don’t have a sword.” Aria said.
“New plan. Sonata and I will find the idiot’s ship and get the chest and whatever else we can carry.”
“Sounds boring.” Aria said.
“Not for you. Aria, you’ll stay here and start a brawl. A big, loud one. Keep the crew’s attention until we get back.”
“I can do that.” Aria smirked. 
“You remember our rules?” Adagio reached out and put her hand over Aria’s.
“If you take longer than an hour, meet at the docks. If you don’t show up by sunrise or sunset, meet at the main hideout.” Aria said. She rolled her eyes, but her smile didn’t leave.
“That’s right. Have your fun, take in as much mana as you can, and try not to engage the captain. He’s stronger than he looks.” Adagio said.
“I’ve got it, I’ve got it!” Aria grumbled.
Adagio and Sonata slipped out the window while Aria kept eyes on the captain, who was now sitting at the bar. In this light, the mask seemed a bit off-center and ill-fitting. The Griffon slumped over the bar, shoulders drooping as he chatted with a crewmate.
Aria waited for a few minutes, or what seemed like years, then she rose and slowly approached. She grabbed a bottle of grog, then tapped the Griffon on the shoulder.
“Hm?”
“You stabbed my sister in the shoulder.”
“What?”
Aria smashed the bottle on The Griffon’s head. 





Adagio and Aria snuck up on an impressive barque with three masts, covered in sails of red and green. The figurehead was a finely carved visage of a bare-chested harpy, clutching a two-headed battle axe in her talons. The plaque on the side read “The Harpies’ Labrys”
“Do you think this is the ship?” Sonata said.
Adagio stared at Sonata for a few seconds, before finally collecting herself. 
“Yes, Sonata. This is the ship, Now help me up.”
The ship groaned only slightly as Sonata and Adagio climbed onto the deck. A lantern’s glow swiveled in their direction, and the pair hid behind the mast.
“Looks like someone wasn’t invited to the party in town!” Sonata said. Adagio clapped a hand over her mouth.
“Will you please learn an inside voice already!?” Adagio whispered.
“Hello? Is anyone there?” Said a painfully innocent sounding voice.
“Does that sound like a child to you?” Adagio whispered.
“Mine!” Sonata said, squirming out of Adagio’s grasp.
Sonata’s boots charged across the deck, then came to a sudden stop. 
Adagio peeked around the mast but only saw a figure holding a lantern. Sonata had disappeared.
The figure with the lantern was shorter than Adagio, and she could barely make out a striped shirt, a red scarf, and a pair of terrified eyes. Adagio could see now that it was indeed a child. A young boy left to watch the ship on his own.
“BOO!” Sonata emerged from the darkness at the boy’s side.
“AH! Whuh!? Who, uh…huh?” The boy jumped.
“Hello little boy~.” Sonata purred.
“Who are you!?” The boy started to panic visibly, but Sonata put a finger to his lips.
“Shhh…Adagio? Can I play with him?” Sonata said.
“You may detain him.” Adagio sighed.
“Yes! Are you a good little boy? Good little boys shouldn’t be out this late. Why are you here all alone?” Sonata said.
“I-I-I’m Pip! Pip the pirate! I’m the cabin boy….and guard!”
“Aww! Are you a brave little cabin boy? Stopping any nasty people from climbing on board and cutting everybody's necks?” Sonata giggled.
Her voice was sing-song and playful and beyond menacing.
“Th-th-that’s right! I’m…you…you’re not supposed to be here!” Pip simpered. 
“Shhh…shhh…don’t be so loud! There could be monsters around!” Sonata tutted.
“M-Monsters!? Like, like ghosts and goblins, and, and, and…”
“Sirens~?” Sonata said.
Pip gulped, backing away from Sonata until she put a hand on his shoulder and pushed him against the railing of the ship’s stairs.
“Do you know what sirens do to good little boys like you?”
“...nooo?” The boy was shivering. His eyes flicked from Sonata’s red gaze to her dagger-filled smile.
“What? Why are you shaking? Are you scared that I’m going to…EAT YOU UP!?” 
Sonata pounced, and Adagio braced for screams.
The boy flailed and laughed, as Sonata tickled him under the arms, smiling brightly.
“Ah? Ah? Boo! Hehehehee!” Sonata cooed.
“Sonata, put him to sleep! We can’t risk anyone hearing us.”
“Okay!”
Sonata hummed a gentle and haunting tune before breaking into a sweet and beckoning stanza.
“Come little children, I’ll take thee away, into a land of enchantment.
Come little children, the night’s come to play, here in my garden of magic…”
The boy’s fearful gaze turned dull. His legs went slack, but Sonata caught him before he could hit the deck, rocking him gently as if putting him to bed.
“Shhh…shh…I’m gonna take you home with us to our place on the north side, and we’ll have little tea parties, and I’m gonna dress you up in a little sailor’s outfit, and, and-”
“No. None of that is happening. Come on.” Adagio said, rolling her eyes. Sonata placed the boy on the deck, then trotted along into the captain’s quarters behind Adagio.
“Look for the chest, Sonata. I doubt the Griffon would keep it anywhere out of his reach.”
The Griffon’s quarters were surprisingly spartan. Adagio expected something full of pageantry and presentation, and while the ceiling was draped with high hanging strips of colored cloth, seemingly for flavor, all else she saw was a very basic bunk, a tall mirror bolted to the wall, a wardrobe, and a map stretched out on a desk next to an open tome.
"A manifest? On a pirate ship? Since when are pirate captains so orderly and neat?" Adagio said aloud.
“Don’t you have one of these?”
“Yes, but I’m obviously smarter, better and more attractive than the average pirate.”
“Maybe he has a scribe? Human writing is super hard!”
“Only if you keep doing it with your teeth, Sonata. There are no scribes here, these pages are signed under ‘The Griffon’, sometimes with extra titles thrown in.”
In contrast to the fashionable and legendary Griffon’s brash behavior, the ship’s manifest was legible and extraordinarily well organized, listing every heist and shipment from the last few months down to the individual units. Adagio was taken aback by the amount of specialty goods in the ledger; perfume, soap, a medley of dried fruits and the like, and discovered that the Griffon had used money from the ship’s coffers to purchase those luxuries.
Most miraculous of all was the fact that one of the expenses listed was a weekly salary for the crew.
Adagio flipped through the pages, growing more confused as she went on, until she found the most recent page, which contained plans for the next expedition.
“They aren’t staying in Nassau…they’re provisioning for a grand operation in…Havana?”
“Maybe they’ve got a cute little summer home there!” Sonata said, before suddenly hitting the floor.
“Are you alright?” Adagio stepped over to help Sonata up. It seemed that she tripped over something that slid across the floor with the rocking of the ship.
“I’m okay! Oof. Maybe I’m still getting used to feet? Heehee.” Sonata laughed. 
“Maybe. How would you feel about dance lessons? Would that help?” Adagio chuckled.
“Ooh! Can we go to Brazil for those!? I love how those guys flip around!”
“I’ll think about it. Now what is this you’ve fallen over?”
Sonata shuffled to her feet, then gasped as she saw what had tripped her. It was the chest with the serpent carved into the top, minus the padlocks.
“I found it! I found it! I found it~!” Sonata sang.
“Yes you did, Sonata. Excellent work. It looks like the esteemed captain has done the work of unlocking it for us. How kind.” Adagio said.
“What’s inside? What’s inside?” 
“Let’s see.”
Adagio opened the chest and found that it contained a singular item; something long and heavy, wrapped in a fine satin cloth.
“Oooooh! What is it? A fancy pillow?” Sonata said over Adagio’s shoulder.
Adagio unwrapped the cloth. What she held in her hand was a long wedge of fine cut jade, a bit longer in length than her forearm. On one end was a wide socket made of carved gold, and the other resembled an eagle’s talons from the top, but was flat on the bottom. 
“Is…is it another sex toy?” Sonata said.
“No, Sonata, I don’t think it is.” Adagio said, stowing the artifact in a sack.
“Aww…Oh well! Maybe there’s one here in the wardrobe?”
Sonata turned and flung the doors of the wardrobe wide. Adagio heard the unmistakable sound of a twine breaking.
Adagio tackled Sonata to the ground.
A bit of string attached to the wardrobe door had given way. It snaked up the wall to the ceiling and released with a snap. The colorful cloth hanging above turned down, raining a storm of caltrops on Adagio’s back as she covered Sonata.
Sonata looked on in horror as rivulets of blood ran down Adagio’s arms and face.
“Are you hurt, Sonata?” Adagio said, touching her sister’s face.
“Sis…what about you?” Sonata winced.
“Don’t worry about that.” Adagio got to her feet, quivering slightly. Sonata gasped as she saw a prickly patch of caltrops stuck in Adagio’s back and arms. “It seems our enemy is a bit more clever than I gave him credit for; a mistake I will not be making twice.” 




 
“Come on you dirty human curs! I’ll take you all on!” Aria grinned. 
Seven men were on the floor of the tavern, a couple of which were wearing The Griffon’s green armband. Some of the bar patrons had made the mistake of getting in Aria’s way, and now they were part of a pile on the floor.
The Griffon’s men were numerous, but not extremely coordinated. Many of them shrunk away in appropriate terror when Aria swung her hatchet, and a few of them hid behind the captain himself.
“Now, now love! This doesn’t have to end in blood! How about we settle this over a pint or two?” The Griffon said, brandishing a cutlass.
“You talk too much.” Aria’s hatchet came down and bulldozed a wooden chair where The Griffon had been standing. 
“Tis’ a nice shirt you’ve got there. Did you get it in Cuba? Havana?” The Griffon said.
“Shut up!” Aria charged again, whacking another crew member out of the way as she went after The Griffon.
“Are you jealous of the attention I gave to your leader? I assure you that there’s plenty to go around!” The Griffon said, reaching for a pint on the bar.
“STOP TALKING!” Aria screamed, and a barstool collapsed. The Griffon glanced at the damage, bewildered that the woman hadn’t charged or swung, but merely screamed.
“How did you…?”
“DIE!”
The Griffon blocked the strike with a metal flagon, but the shock of the blow knocked his arm away, opening him up to Aria’s berserk charge.
“Captain, look out!”
A swarthy, eye-patched sailor wielding a table leg tried to stop Aria’s swing. The hatchet bit deep into the shoulder with a wet crunch, but the man didn’t scream, or budge. He gritted his teeth and stood firm.
“Don’t you dare hurt the captain, you monster!”
Aria grabbed the man’s color.
“Me!? Who are you to call me a monster!?”
“The man that helped me defeat you.” Said the captain.
Aria looked over her captive’s shoulder and saw that The Griffon was pointing a pistol at her.
“You’re a coward.” Aria hissed.
“Surrender, lass. Last chance.”
“I’d rather die!”
“Fair enough.”
The Griffon pulled the trigger.





Meanwhile, in the harbor, a modest cutter rocked back and forth. It flew a black flag that featured a sea serpent coiled around a skull.
The plaque on the side of the ship read: “Medusa’s Hammer”.
Adagio sat frowning in the tin tub in the shared quarters of the ship. Sonata was carefully pulling the metal spikes from her back, washing the wounds with a bit of cloth. 
Every time Adagio cringed from the sharp pain, Sonata’s hands emitted a dark, dusky red glow, and the wound closed.
“Don’t use so much mana on me. You know this world’s magic is so thin as to be nothing.”
“Sorry, Sis!” Sonata said and continued working.
“Why trap the wardrobe instead of the chest? This Griffon gets stranger by the moment.” Adagio said.
“But interesting, right?” Sonata said.
“What?”
“What?”
There was a thud. 
“Go see what that was.” Adagio said.
“Okay!”
Sonata ran to the door, then Adagio heard her gasp.
“Sis…?” Sonata said.
“One moment!” Adagio tossed on a shirt and ran for the deck. She reached for her rapier, then remembered it was gone.
It was just as well, for as soon as she got up, Aria stumbled through the door to the captain’s quarters and hit the floor face-first, bleeding.
“Aria! Sonata, what did you do!?”
“Nothing, nothing, she came like this!”
Aria mumbled something about ‘the worst,’ then Sonata flipped her over. She went to work immediately, unrolling a sheaf of metal tools fit for a surgeon on a very low budget.
“Bastard shot me in the stomach!” Aria groaned as Sonata examined the wound.
“Who did?” Adagio said.
“The captain…!”
“You fought the captain?”
“Fuck! Sonata, what are you doing!?” Aria said.
“Its still in there! I have to get it out!” Sonata said. 
“Aria, focus. What did I specifically tell you not to do?” Adagio said, kneeling down next to Aria.
“Fight with the captain…” Aria mumbled.
“And what did you do?”
“I fought the captain…gaah! Sonata, fuck!” 
Sonata didn’t look up. She passed something to Adagio instead. Adagio reached onto a shelf and then uncorked a bottle of rum.
“Drink.”
Aria, grimacing and sweating, happily drank down the sugary booze.
“Now, Aria, I’m only going to say this once, since you seem to have forgotten. I’m the leader of this band. I decide who we attack and who we leave be. So when I tell you not to attack someone, what don’t you do?”
“I don’t attack that person…” Aria grumbled.
“Good. Bite down on this.” Adagio offered Aria a thick strip of leather. “Now, I understand why you did it, so you won’t be punished. I’ll let this surgery be punishment enough.
Aria screamed around the bit of leather, her legs kicking the deck as Sonata reached into her wound with tweezers.
“Sonata, once you finish with that, I want you to weigh anchor.” Adagio said.
“But Sis, what about your back?” Sonata said.
“Her back? What happened to your back!?” Aria said, spitting out the leather.
“Hush. Once we’re out of sight of Nassau, we can find a little cove to stop in for a moment so you can heal me. Right now, we need to get clear.” Adagio said.
“But why, Sis?”
“Because we have what we came for. We have the treasure and some extra loot as well, and The Griffon’s men will find that out the second they return to their ship. We’re in no condition for another fight at the moment. We need to rest and recuperate before we make any other moves.”
“Aye aye, Sis!” Sonata said. She raised a hand over Aria’s bullet wound, and her dark red aura pooled in little droplets at her fingertips before dripping slowly into the gash.
Adagio stroked Aria’s hair as her wound began to close. 
“Ugh…why is it so slow?” Aria complained.
“The magic in this world is pitiful, which means we can’t be as reckless as we used to.”
“I know, I know!” Aria hissed. Sonata wiped the blood away to reveal a fresh scar.
“Then stop complaining. You need to go get some sleep, Aria.”
“What? Who’s going to do all the pulling and rigging while we get out of port?”
“Not you, with that wound. Now go relax. I won’t tell you twice.” Adagio said, taking the helm. Despite the feeling of salt in the air prickling her own wounds, Adagio kept a steady, stern expression at the wheel.
Within minutes, the Medusa’s Hammer was out of Nassau’s port and headed for the horizon, which was dark and stormy.





A few weeks had passed. Buck’s magic training had been going at a pace best described as jagged and frustrating, but his rapport with Adagio was shifting gradually back to the casual intimacy they had enjoyed before he started dating Ditzy Doo.
Now Adagio and Buck had settled into a bit of a groove. Buck would practice his basic cantrips while Adagio assisted him with theory, encouragement, and drills, and then Buck would take some time to emotionally decompress by lounging on the couch and listening to Adaigo’s story.
At the moment Buck and Adagio were taking shots, but Adagio had insisted on setting the pace. The pair were pleasantly buzzed.
“I get it.” Buck said.
“Hm?”
“That feeling of being wounded, but needing to ignore it so that you can keep moving forward. I get it.”
“Have you ever lead a team, Buck?”
“No, not really.”
“Then you don’t get it. It’s not just about stubbornness. My sisters and I were strangers in a strange land. They depended on me to be strong, level-headed, and focused on our goals. I had to excise every ounce of weakness from my heart or the group’s dynamic would fall apart.”
“That sounds like an obscene amount of pressure to be under.”
“That’s simply what it means to be a leader. When your authority is questioned, it leads to dissent, and that can cause your team to go against your directions and make mistakes that can jeopardize their well-being. If you slip up even a tiny bit, if you don’t maintain control, everything can fall apart.”
“I don’t know about that. Circumstances being what they were, I totally get your approach, but it sounds like the girls were just as worried about your well-being as you were worried about theirs. I bet if you talked to them about your feelings, you wouldn’t have to worry so much about them going rogue, or whatever.”
“And what do you know about it, Buck?”
“I’m just saying that when you talk about needing to be authoritative and driven, you remind me of someone else. A really smart girl who did some nasty things because she wanted to be accepted but didn’t know how to put it into words. She was a friend of mine; you might’ve heard of her?”
“I don’t think I like how snippy you get when you’re lightly drunk.” Adagio said.
“Sorry, sorry. Don’t mind me.”





The winds had not been in the Siren Sister’s favor, and without magic to move their ship, the path to the northern coast of Cuba was a long and arduous one. By the time the Medusa’s Hammer approached the sea cave that hid their main base, the weather was so poor that it had to be rowed in.
Adagio had opted to stay in the captain’s quarters, quietly checking her back in the tall mirror. Despite Sonata’s best efforts, there would be scars. There simply wasn’t enough mana to heal it properly.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.
“What is it?” Adagio said.
“The front door is open.” Aria growled.
The boulder which typically hid the entrance to the Dazzling’s base had been pushed aside. The flicker of torchlight could be seen coming from inside the cave.
“Arms, girls. If our burglars are still here, we’ll make them pay.” Adagio said.
“Dibs!” Sonata said, brandishing her whip.
“Shh! Yes, Sonata. You can punish them.” Adagio whispered.
The Dazzlings crept into the threshold, Aria on point, Sonata in the back, and Adagio in the center.
A single torch was left burning on the stony floor, and with its light, Adagio saw the damage that had been done. It was little more than three beds, a table and a wardrobe, but it was theirs, and now it was ransacked beyond repair.
“Our stuff! They busted up our stuff!” Sonata said. She sat on her bed, which was missing sheets, only to have its legs buckle beneath her.
“I should’ve killed them all!” Aria said. “I should’ve ripped their heads off in that bar!”
Adagio was silent. The protests of her sisters fell away as she looked around. The Dazzlings had avoided filling their main base with loot; that’s what the other sea caves were for, but this space had been the closest thing they had to a permanent home since they arrived in the human world. It was their backup plan in the event of everything else falling apart. Adagio’s hands clenched.
“Girls, move the wardrobe aside. I need to check our chest.”
Sonata and Aria looked at Adagio, taken aback by the cold calm in her voice. Her glare was red hot.
“Now.”
The wardrobe groaned across the stone floor, revealing a hole that had been carved out of the wall shortly after their arrival. Inside was a small chest, in which the Dazzlings kept their most treasured possessions; Sonata’s favorite pilfered jewelry, little trophies from Aria’s violent conquests, and Adagio’s journals. 
It was all gone, save for the journals, which looked entirely untouched. A scrap of parchment was left on top of them. 
“They left a note?” Aria said. “What kind of burglar leaves a note?”
“The polite kind?” Sonata said.
“The kind that wants to be found,” Adagio said. She presented the note to Aria and Sonata, then rolled her eyes as they shrugged. “If you wish for the return of your loot, you’ll set a course for the southernmost tip of the Gull Keys and then come through to Mooney Harbor. Bring the idol, and we’ll have a bit of parley. Nothing personal, signed The Griffon, and there’s a heart drawn next to the name. Ugh. Europeans.” Adagio said.
“How do we get a gull’s keys? Is it like a jailor gull with little bird keys?” Sonata said.
“No, idiot, a key is a type of island,” Aria said.
“Are you sure that’s not a cay?” Sonata said.
“They’re basically the same thing!” Aria said.
“How do islands turn into keys? Do they turn all metally?” Sonata said.
“Adagio, save me.” Aria groaned.
“The Gull Keys are west of Florida. We’ll have to go up along the coast if we want to avoid the gulf stream. Let me think, if we stop over at our place near de Padre, we’ll probably have enough provisions to-”
“Wait, are we going? I’ve never seen a seagull jailer before! Hey, if we turn the Griffon in to the constable, will that make him a bird jail!?” Sonata said.
“That’s…that’s not even…wait, did you mean to say jail bird?” Aria squinted.
“Wait, let me try again! Uh…uhm…Let’s jail this bird!” Sonata said.
“Passable. Save that for when we inevitably sell him up the river.” Adagio said, gathering up what little was salvageable in their ransacked base.
“Wait, I thought we were going along the coast?” Sonata said.
“No, Sonata, well, yes we’re going along the coast, but selling him up the river is a euphemism.” Adagio said.
“Is that like a baptism? I didn’t know you were Catholic, Sis!”
“No Sonata, we’re not Catholic; all the mythologies in this world are wrong, anyway.” Adagio said.
“Well except for the greek ones, I think, and some of the british ones sorta, the irish ones and the ones from the dark continent, and-” Sonata said.
“AAAGH LET’S GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I KILL SOMETHING!” Aria screamed, smashing a wooden chair.
“You killed that chair!” Sonata said.
“I’ll kill you if you don’t stop talking!” Aria said.
“We’re going.” Adagio said, rubbing her temples. “We’re going to provision at our third hideout, then stop in the nearest port town, but we’re going to that meeting.” 
“Why are we going into town, Sis?” Sonata says.
“I need a map of our destination, and I need to send a letter to our favorite Commodore.”





“Wow. You know, the way you talk about it, it kinda sounds like Sonata and Aria are two halves of a whole idiot.” Buck slurred.
“Every moment with them is a gift.” Adagio sighed.
“I don’t think I remember them being super dumb about stuff.”
“Did you meet us while we were at Canterlot High? I think I would have remembered you.” Adagio said.
“No, you wouldn’t’ve. I was like sentient wallpaper back in high school, except for when I screwed up, ‘cause I always screwed up royal. Pretty sure that I met Aria in the hall, actually.”
“Really?”
“Yeah I remember! I said I liked her cool goth boots.”
“Oh? And what did she say?”
“Uh…lemme think…she said somethin’ about not asking for my opinion and then she kicked me in the shin.”
“Aw, you poor baby!” Adagio said, patting Buck on the head.
“Eh. I didn’t take it personally. Altos are naturally short-tempered.” Buck shrugged. “So, wait, why did The Griffon want that idol so bad?” 
“It was a priceless antique and very clearly won through a barbarous crusade into the southern continent.”
“So, was it magic? Cursed?”
Adagio smiled at Buck the way one smiles when they realize they’re allergic to their birthday cake’s icing.
“It didn’t have a single morsel of magic inside it. We tried draining it. Sonata sucked on it for a little while, just in case.” Adagio said.
“Not sure if that’s hot or gross.”
“As it turned out, the idol was worth more than a fortune; it was worth a future.”





After one long and obnoxious voyage and several “jokes” by Aria about just eating Sonata already, the Dazzlings arrived at their destination close to the break of dawn.
Along the way, they had avoided the Spanish patrols going along the keys, putting their anchor down as seldom as possible while staying just out of range of the law.
What they came to was a huge island of high hills, low shrubbery, and white beaches.
“I don’t see any seagulls! What gives?” Sonata whined.
“Is that one?” Adagio said, pointing.
On a crude wooden sign beside an inlet sat a very familiar parrot. It was the color of pale cream in the front but had a vibrant green feathers down its back, wings, and tail.
“Hey Sonata, look. It’s your best friend.” Aria grinned.
“Arrk! Dead men tell no tales!” The parrot squawked, then flew away as an empty bottle crashed into the sign it was perched on.
“That’s for making my face less pretty for a whole week!” Sonata said.
The parrot flew down the inlet, presumably toward the meeting place.
"Remember, girls, we’re on a time limit. We are here to get our loot, make fools of the Griffon’s crew, and get out in a reasonable stretch of time. Play it cool until I give the signal.” Adagio said.
Aria and Sonata agreed, and with that, they rode in on the inlet. The Medusa’s Hammer entered a natural harbor ringed by islands. To the north were a couple of inlets, and to starboard was a surprise.
Adagio was prepared for a variety of ambushes and was mortified to find that a wooden stage marked with torches had been set up at the edge of the wide lake they had rowed into. 
A long table was set out, and as the Dazzlings approached, a crew of sailors from seemingly all walks of life rushed to bedeck the table with a variety of tantalizing dishes that made Sonata’s mouth water and Aria and Adagio’s do the same but quieter.
As Adagio descended the gangplank, she had the distinct impression that this was more of a delightful soiree than a negotiation between rival pirates, and the easy smile beneath the Griffon’s mask did nothing to change that idea.
“Welcome, friends and neighbors! Its a pleasure to see you again on such short notice!” Said the Griffon, rising from his seat with his green feathered hat and a resplendent cloak on his shoulders.
“We’ve spent months and resources on this digression, and we’re not here to break bread,” Adagio said.
Sonata glanced up from the roasted bird leg she was tearing into and looked like she was going to cry.
“We’re not?” Sonata whined.
“Where are our effects?” Adagio groaned. 
The Griffon snapped his fingers, and a large sack clanked onto the wooden stage, revealing the contents of the Siren Sister’s base.
“I believe I left you with a sword?” Adagio smirked.
“You certainly did, little dolphin.” The Griffon said. He threw back his cloak to reveal that Adagio’s rapier was strapped to his side. She screamed inside her head at the name ‘little dolphin’, but through sheer force of will, managed to maintain a somewhat even expression.
“Excellent. And here is your trinket.” Adagio said. She waved a hand and Aria produced the jade wedge. 
“Ah, excellent. So you do have it.” The Griffon said.
“Yes, of course. Now, by the look of this spread, I assume we’re not here for a simple swap.” Adagio said.
“Nothing gets past you, love. No, as a matter of fact, I think you lot and I have much to discuss.”
“We don’t negotiate with common sea rats. I’d prefer to finish our exchange and be on my way.” Adagio said, nodding at Aria.
Aria stepped forward, presenting the jade idol, while Sonata moved to grab the sack with their belongings.
The clicks of hammers pulled back gave the sirens pause. It seemed every member of the Griffon’s crew had drawn at once.
“This won’t go well for you.” Adagio said, her tone betraying not a hint of fear.
“How do you figure? By all accounts it seems that we have you.” The Griffon said.
“Yes, and unlike before, what you have is our undivided attention. If you recall the treatment of your crew at the hands of Aria here, you’ll be wise to consider what the three of us can do as a unit.”
The Griffon’s men mumbled but went silent as the Captain’s hand went up.
“And what is exactly is it that the three of you can do?”
“Kill you all, for one.” Adagio said. “Any one of us could kill you all.”
“Does that wound in your girl’s side have anything to say about it?” The Griffon pointed at Aria, who visibly rankled.
“Yes. It succeeded at angering her, and now she’s waiting for me to give the signal to stop holding back. You are aware of our pedigree, and the countless ships we have sunk as a three-woman team. Do you intend to go down with your ship?”
“Is that an invitation? I’d be happy to go down on yours.”
The Griffon’s crew laughed and cooed, then went silent with another raised hand. Adagio hoped that the infant light of dusk was not enough to show her furious blush.
“Very cute. Unfortunately, I don’t have any openings for cabin boys on my ship. It’s girls only, I’m afraid.” Adagio said.
“A pity, that. Lads, lower you arms. We’re not here to fight. We’re here to negotiate. Are you curious as to why I’d go to the trouble of turning your base upside down and calling you out here just for a little chunk of stone?”
“It’s worth a fortune. I’m not an idiot.”
“Tis’ worth more’n that, love.”
“Is that so?” Adagio said, flashing the barest hint of a smile.
“Would you dazzling ladies do us the honor of joining this meal? We will carry out our swap, but I believe we’ve got an offer beyond it that you lot will find interesting.”
Sonata made to dive into the feast again, but Adagio grabbed her shoulder.
“You will give me your word that this food isn’t poisoned. You will agree that we will leave here unmolested once our conversation is over, and you will agree to take the idol in exchange for our effects. All of them.” Adagio said., nodding to her rapier.
The Griffon rose and offered a hand to Adagio.
“I’ll answer your questions and you’ll answer mine.”
“Agreed.”
“And that’s what we call parley.” The Griffon said.
The two captains shook, and with that, the feast began.
Sonata took to the banquet like a chatty cat; instantly becoming popular with the crew sitting next to and across from her, and occasionally picking morsels off their plates once she finished hers. Aria glowered at anyone whose eyes fell on hers as she watched Adagio negotiate with rapt attention.
“How did you find our base? It was well hidden and entirely unmarked from the outside.” Adagio said.
“Our boy Pip heard something about you girls going to a place on the ‘north side’ before you knocked him out.” The Griffon said.
“So what? He could have meant the north side of Nassau.” Adagio said.
“Maybe, but I happened to notice that all three of you were wearing the kinds of clothes one might find in british territory. All of you, save for that one.” The Griffon pointed at Aria, who froze.
“Aria? What about her?” Adagio said.
“You and the fun one are wearing British garb, but that one is wearing a cigar shirt; a fashion distinct to Cuba. Since Cuba is Spanish territory and the British have an embargo against them, I figured that you must have gotten the shirt in Cuba, or on a spanish ship in the vicinity. So I had a look at your bounty poster…”
“Which says we’re wanted for crimes against the Spanish colonies.”
“And from there, it just made sense that you would move up and down the northern coast of Cuba.”
“Perceptive, are we?” Adagio said.
“You tell me.” The Griffon said, eyes slipping down Adagio’s bodice.
“I have a question!” Sonata said, raising her hand. “How come your bird is, like, evil?”
“You mean Cali? Cali, come here! Pweet!” The Griffon whistled.
Sonata cringed as the parrot swooped down to perch on The Griffon’s shoulder. It hopped over and nuzzled against his head.
“Cali’s my closest and smartest companion. She didn’t mean nothing when she came after you. She was just followin’ orders. Say sorry, Cali!”
“Arrk! Lily-livered lass!” The parrot said.
“Hey!” Sonata said.
“Cali!” The Griffon balked.
“Why would you name your bird after California? That place isn’t even real, its just a spanish rumor.” Aria said.
“Well, I named her after an old friend. I used to have another parrot, named her Gabby, but she was a little too chatty.”
“Chattier than this one?” Aria said.
“Arrk! Scabby sea bass, scabby see bass! Arrk!” The parrot taunted.
“Why you little-!” Aria snarled.
“Enough. Can we get back to the point?” Adagio cut in.
“Well, I looked into you after our first meeting, and your reputation speaks for itself.”
Sonata and Aria smiled at each other, but Adagio kept her frown.
“Tis’ a fine ship you have, there. Very bold to skip across these waters in a such a small cutter. And I see by the name that you’re well read.” The Griffon said.
“Spare me your petty flattery.” Adagio said. 
“I assure you, my admiration is genuine. You three have made quite a name for yourselves, and still somehow manage to come clean through all of your heists. How were you walking around the Crystal, bold as brass without being noticed?”
“I think you should be able to figure that out on your own.” Adagio smiled.
“Let me think…you have a reputation for popping up in unexpected conflicts and making off with loot. Do you…infiltrate these ships? Disguises?”
“Oh yes, but we barely need them.”
“Is that so?”
“The one thing that most nautical men have in common is the idiotic way they treat women. All we have to say is that we’re seeking passage, and they let us right on, often hoping for a bribe. Then we take what we can while they fight over us and move on.”
“Aha! That’s brilliant, that is!” The Griffon laughed. 
“And what of you? Is it entirely necessary to make these grand entrances alone? It can’t be good for your health to charge a fully crewed ship in nothing but a little sail boat.”
“Ah, well, my own crew is never far behind. I trust them to pick up my slack should things go awry. Easier to risk my life as a scout than any of my precious little lads. Besides, its good exposure!”
“You sound suicidal.” Aria grumbled.
“I prefer death-defying.” The Griffon said.
“If you insist. Now, are we done prattling? I’d like to finish our exchange and move on.” Adagio said, checking a pocket watch.
“Why the rush, love?”
“You’re hardly the only man seeking my attention.”
“I believe that.” 
“What do you want with us? If it’s what I think it is, I’ll make sure you die last.” Adagio growled.
“I was only having a little look, love! But, I take your point. My apologies. The truth of the matter is, I aim to recruit you.”
“No. I refuse to take orders from you or any other man.”
“No, no, I meant for a partnership. The lads and I are planning the heist of the century; one in which we all come away rich and strike a blow to the grand ego of both the British and Spanish forces in the Caribbean.”
“...I’m listening.” 
“I got my hands on an official invitation to an upcoming banquet, I won’t say where quite yet, between representatives of the British Royal Navy and the Spanish Armada. The topic is the exchange of territories between both factions; a bit of peace talk. A whole lot of white wigs with fat purses all gathered in one place. I intend to do what we always do. Isn’t that right, lads? We take what we can!”
“And give nothing back!” Shouted the crew in unison.
“But such a banquet is sure to be crawling with guards, so you need a small elite team skilled at infiltration to get in and open the back door.” Adagio said. “So you already knew where our talents lie, you just wanted to confirm it.”
“Why else would I invite you to come to this forsaken little bay in the far reaches of spanish territory?”
“I assumed you just wanted to get me alone.” Adagio smirked.
“Oh, there will be plenty of time for that once we finish the heist!“
“And how exactly does the idol fit in all of this?” 
“Tis' called ‘ídolo de la garra águila’, The Griffon said.
Aria shrugged and Sonata looked around idly.
“The Eagle Talon Idol.” Adagio groaned, slapping her forehead.
“It was a spoil of war between the Spanish and the people of the southern continent. A holy relic that would allow a warrior to rise again and take the field of battle even after a grievous wound. At some point, it was stolen by a British navy officer during a skirmish, and its changed hands many times since then.”
“Typical human greed. So what?” Aria said.
“It’s to be a peace offering at the banquet; a symbol of reparation and good will between the british and spanish, and with it representing a potential alliance, it is essentially priceless. I want you to take it to the ball, disguised as british couriers who recovered it. Its as good as a free ticket.” The Griffon said.
“And you can always steal it right back in the middle of the heist.” Adagio said.
“How does forty percent of the loot sound?” The Griffon said.
“Excellent. We’ll take the sixty.”
“Oh ho! You drive a hard bargain!”
“And we’ll keep the idol with us as collateral.”
“Oh?”
“So that if you get cold feet and decide to abandon us, we’ll at least have the funds to hunt you down afterwards.”
“Not very trusting, are you lass?”
“I don’t trust scoundrels who hide their face during negotiations.” 
“Ah, but what is a face but an obligation you’re forced to take on? What is a mask but a face you choose to wear?”
“Oh, I know! A mask is like a thing you use to cover your face, and sometimes it has pretty colors, and sometimes its just a sack, or something!” Sonata piped up.
“…Quick as a whip, that one.” The Griffon said.
“What did I say about underestimating us?” Adagio said. She held an arm out to stop Aria from lunging.
“You’re protective of your crew’s honor! That’s a fine quality for a captain to have.” The Griffon said.
“We simply know that we’re better than the rest, and we don’t suffer insults from rabble. Now, what do you intend to gain from this heist of yours? You must know what will happen if you get caught, so I hardly think that the loot alone is worth it.”
“Ah, a forward thinker. The point isn’t the money, but to send a message. The Griffon, announcing to the powers that be that the seas will never be ruled by crusaders and kings. The seas belong to the free. Look around at my crew, miss sea witch. What do you see?”
Adagio’s eyes swiveled around the table. She noticed that the Griffon’s crew amounted to about fifteen, and each of them was jocular and hardy, diving into their meal with wild abandon.
“I see a bunch of drunkards who are shockingly comfortable dining with a rival crew.”
“Not a single one has the same colored skin. Each and every one of them came from a broken home, escaped from bondage, or roved out to get away from the clutching talons of the brits or the spanish or the french. They all came together on my ship because they wanted something more; a life outside the crushing pressures of the “civilized” world.”
“A life with a salary for piracy?” Adagio smirked. 
“It’s only fair! And here they are, brothers in arms working together, eating together, fighting together. There’s no invisible walls; no need for bigotry or exploitation on this ship, because what is a ship, if not freedom itself?” The Griffon said. He raised a flagon, tasting of triumph and joy. 
The rest of the crew cheered. Even Sonata joined in on the toast until Adagio glared at her.
“You have a lofty set of ideals for a common thug.” Adagio said, fighting a smile on her face.
“And your eyes are even more beautiful in the morning sun than the moonlight.” The Griffon said. “Tell you what. If we all get clear of this heist alive, the three of you can join my crew.”
The Griffon’s men all cheered. Sonata looked amused, and Aria looked infuriated, but both were looking at Adagio, who was the face of shock.
“What do you say, lass? We could make legends together, you and I.” The Griffon smiled, offering his hand.
The sun rose over the banquet, finally revealing the pink in Adagio’s cheeks. 
“Are you a gambling man, Mr. The Griffon?” Adagio said.
“Depends on the bet, love. Are you looking to take a chance with me?” The Griffon winked.
“We’ll see. I propose a duel. We’ll cross swords, and the first to bleed is the loser.”
“What do I get if I win?”
“Our full cooperation. When you lose, you’ll give us all the loot you have on your ship, in addition to the idol.” Adagio said.
“Ambitious, even. I’m starting to like you more and more. Alright, I’ll play your game. But if I win, we get your assistance in our scheme, and after, you and I will have another lovely chat about dreams and ideals.”
“Is that all you want? Ambitious indeed.” Adagio scoffed.
“What can I say, love? You’re worth the effort.” The Griffon smiled, and a pale, almost invisible stream of energy passed from him, into Adagio.
For a moment, she did nothing but smile and shift a bit in her seat. 
“Oooooh!” Sonata cooed, nudging Adagio with an elbow. Aria’s scowl grew sourer as Adagio got lost in the moment.
“Adagio, we need to get out of here. There’s no time for this! What about the plan?” Aria whispered.
Adagio blinked in surprise.
“Oh. Right. I’m altering the plan.” Adagio said, rising from her seat.
“Are we doing this now? The Griffon said, with an elated lilt in his voice. 
“Why wait? Are you afraid of me at last?” Adagio was already moving to an empty bit of the wooden stage, an exhilarated skip in her step.
“Oh, no, I’m happy to embarrass you a second time, little dolphin!” The Griffon laughed. Adagio grabbed his hand and swung him like a dancer, sending him a few feet away. The Griffon reached to his side, then frowned. The scabbard that held Adagio’s blade was empty.
The rapier glinted in the rising light as it twirled by the handle in Adagio’s hand.
“No, I think I’m the one that will do the embarrassing today, Captain The Griffon.” Adagio said, smirking.
“Ah, a spy, a captain, and now a pickpocket! Is there anything you can’t do?” The Griffon said, drawing one of his cutlasses.
“Just one!” Adagio said, presenting her blade with a flourish. “Lose!”
The Griffon’s crew gathered in a circle to cheer their boss, while Aria and Sonata glanced out at the lake across from them. 
Blades crossed once more, and the Griffon charged roughly forward with his elbow, pushing Adagio back. 
She was on the defensive again, desperately parrying against The Griffon’s powerful chops. Adagio’s eyes darted around at the loose circle of bodies surrounding her.
She had less space in this makeshift arena than she did on the Crystal, but there was no furniture here to get in the way.
Adagio slipped away from The Griffon’s scything swing and ran a few paces back. This time when the Griffon came charging forward, Adagio flicked her wrist and stabbed a shallow wound in his shoulder. The Griffon knocked her blade away, backing up, but each time he tried to charge, Adagio kept him at length with vicious thrusts.
“Ah! You’re a quick study at the blade! A layman might think you’re more than a novice!”
“I think the term master is more appropriate!” Adagio mocked.
“I don’t think so! I’m the master of blades around here!” 
“And what’s so wrong with a little competition~?” Adagio sang.
The Griffon drew his second cutlass, and with one in each hand, he smacked away Adagio’s rapier, blocking her strikes with one while slashing with the other. Adagio fell back, barely deflecting the Griffon’s strikes. 
Aria looked at her, hand on her hatchet, waiting for Adagio to tell her to end this man, but Adagio shook her head and smiled as her sword sang. The taste of the Griffon’s cocky elation, the sweat on her brow, the hammering of her heart, it all mixed into a cocktail of exhilaration. Adagio had almost forgotten the joy of meeting a challenge in the field. She savored the energy in the air, drinking it in.
“Oh, I don’t need to be an expert at the sword to defeat you! This battle is already over!”
The Griffon slashed a ragged hole in Adagio’s pant leg. The sight of her blood seemed to encourage him further as he kept coming, hammering at Adagio’s defenses, getting closer and closer as Adagio barely slipped away from his deadly blows.
“How do you figure that, love?”
“Do you know what marks a passable captain from a great one?” Adagio laughed.
“Presentation?” The Griffon said.
“Wrong!” Adagio said, parrying a strike.
“A fancy hat?” Sonata said, barely paying attention. She was looking around the ground for something.
“Wrong!” Adagio said.
“...” Aria said nothing, simply crossing her arms and scowling.
“Wrong. The difference is preparation! Oh Commodore!” Adagio sang out, and her voice boomed across the keys, sending a ripple through the harbor.
“...what was that?” The Griffon said, taking his hands from his ears. Adagio struck a hole in The Griffon’s sleeve.
As if on cue, a galleon flying the union jack slid into view from the inlet, announcing its presence with a cannon blast that crashed somewhere in the trees beyond the humble wooden stage.
“That would be whatever ship Commodore Caliper Cinch is riding these days,” Adagio said.
“You know Cinch!?” The Griffon said, raising his blades. Adagio raised an eyebrow.
“Do you?”
“You summoned the british navy!?” The Griffon balked.
“Oh yes. They’re entirely convinced that I’m here to help them capture you and your crew.” Adagio said.
Another cannonball whistled over their heads, but Adagio and the Griffon’s blades continued to clash.
“Captain! What do we do!?” Said a crewmate.
“You expected a doublecross? The Griffon said.
“I expected to be underestimated!” Adagio laughed. “I took proper precautions. Now you know the wrath that I can bring to bear!”
“So you are a sea witch, come to hex the lads and I!” The Griffon growled. His rage was delicious.
“Now, now! This was merely a bit of insurance! We’ve already agreed to work together, haven’t we? Aren’t you curious as to your escape route?”
“You have one planned?”
“Naturally. The northern inlet of this harbor leads to a fork. The port path will lead you to the sea, the starboard to a closed off lake. All you have to do is take the first path and fire at the cliffs on either side to block it. The navy won’t be able to get out quick enough to catch up as you flee around the horn.” Adagio said.
“..ah. You really have thought ahead. I knew I liked you.” The Griffon said.
Another shot rang out. The naval vessel was approaching quickly.
“Captain!?” The crew cried.
The Griffon took a long look at Adagio, his eyes shifting along her form as if she were a priceless treasure. Adagio tasted an emerging thirst.
“To the Labrys, lads! We’re off to plan a party!” The Griffon barked. He took Adagio’s wrist and pulled her close. “The ball is in seven months. Havana. I’ll send letters to Cardenas with precise details.”
“Why not tell us yourself at our base, since you know where it is?” Adagio purred.
“I’d keep travel to a minimum. If we all escape this attack, our bounties will only go up.” The Griffon said.
“Concerned about my safety? How disgustingly chivalrous.” Adagio said. 
“Wouldn’t want to see that wicked smile in a box. I’d rather you stay on the poster.” The Griffon said.
“Flirt!” Adagio giggled.
“We’ll have time to chat later. I’ll see you at the ball!” The Griffon let go, and his crew followed behind him as a unit as he charged up the gangplank of the Harpies’ Labrys, The Griffon’s bright smile glinting like a dagger in the morning sunlight.
The Harpies’ Labrys caught the wind and galloped across the choppy harbor toward the northern inlet. The British galleon was right on its heels, with Commodore Finch in all his decorated hubris pacing about the deck as if he had a modicum of control.
Adagio watched with rapt attention as the Harpies’ Labrys turned left at the fork. There was a blast of cannon fire, then a great rumbling splash.
“Ah. Like music on a sheet.” Adagio hummed.
She watched The Labrys disappear beyond the rocks and felt her cheeks. There was heat there, primal and alien to this humanoid form. She was flushed and embarrassed like she had just found a dirty little secret, and for a moment, all she could do was try to gather herself.
A voice called out through the sudden haze.
“Adagio? Adagio! What are we doing!?” Aria said, shaking Adagio by the shoulders.
Adagio blinked. They were surrounded by men with red coats and raised rifles.
“Ah. Well. I suppose its time for us to have a little chat with your captain, hm?” Adagio said, raising her hands.
About five hours later, Adagio sat in a posh and decorated captain’s cabin, failing to keep the smugness from her face.
“You let them escape?” Said Commodore Finch.
“Does it look like I them escape?” Adagio said, displaying the slashes on her clothes and limbs.
“Oh, Sis! You’re still bleeding!” Sonata said. “Here, let me just-”
Adagio pushed Sonata away, putting a finger to her lips just as she began to hum.
“Save it.” Adagio said.
“Ah, so you failed to catch them. I should have known better than to employ privateers of your station. I should have paid for the Shadowbolts.”
“You had no idea that we were any kind of mercenaries until I sent you that summons. Don’t you dare look down on us, Commodore.” Adagio said. Her eyes darted to the doors and noticed the blur of two guards through the glass.
“Rear Admiral, actually. It’s Rear Admiral Cinch.” Cinch said.
“How?” Aria said.
“Oh, a bounty here, a brave defense there, a few private parties here.” Cinch said, cheerfully. His expression slumped as he saw the looks of boredom on Aria and Adagio’s faces, and the focused eyes of Sonata as she diligently watched his inkwell slide across the deck to the rocking of the ship.
“Whatever the case; we told you where they would be, we lured them to a spot and then we expected you to come in and do your job. It’s not our fault that your men failed to capture The Griffon.” Adagio said.
“Well, I hope you aren’t expecting compensation. You barely lifted a finger.” Rear Admiral Cinch said.
“Do you want your toy back?” Adagio said. “The nice, polished ivory one with the buckle and strap?”
Cinch went as quiet as a stump.
“Then I suggest you pay us.” Adagio said.
“Do you have any idea how many guards are on this ship!? I could have the three of you quartered!” Cinch yowled.
Aria’s hatchet bit into the top of the desk with a thud.
“You locked the door. How long do you think it will take for all your guards to get in here? Fast enough to save you from us?” Adagio said, hand drifting to her sword.
Cinch, who was just getting to his feet, went pale and slumped back down in his chair. Adagio stared at him until he tossed a sack of coin onto the desk.
“There! You have your pay, and you were never here!” Cinch said.
“No, I don’t think so.” Adagio said, taking the sack. “I think our arrangement has only just begun.”
“This is blackmail! Extortion!” Cinch hissed.
“It could be murder.” Aria said.
“Now, now. Let’s play nice.” Adagio said. She upended the sack with a frown, coins clicking as she counted. “I’m not going to hurt you, Cinch. I’m offering you another deal.”
“What is it now?” Cinch groaned.
“Oh, please. Do you want to know what I retrieved for you out there? I promise you’ll have a keen interest in it.” Adagio said.
“What?” Cinch said.
“Sonata?” Adagio said. Sonata reached into a burlap sack on her lap and produced the Eagle Talon Idol.
“What!? How did-how could you have possibly!?”
“My girls know how to follow orders.” Adagio smirked, giving Sonata a gentle pat on the shoulder. “I know its value to you, Cinch. Were you invited to the ball?” A thin, dark green stream of sharp anxiety passed from Cinch and into Adagio’s chest. 
“How do you know about that?”
“I know all your secrets, Cinch. So trust me when I say, if I go down, I’ll be as an anchor to you. Do you understand?” Adagio said.
“Yes. I understand.”
“Now, luckily for you, I intend to do the opposite of sinking you. I’ve secured The Griffon’s head for you.”
“And how exactly did you do that?” Cinch said.
“I now know his precise whereabouts.” Adagio smirked.
“Excuse me?”
“In precisely seven month’s time!”
“You know where he’ll be next?”
“I know far more than that! I can ensure that by the end of the year, you’ll have the hands of one of the most notorious pirate captains on the spanish main. How much would you pay us for that?” Adagio said.
“Well, I…”
Adagio rose to her feet, placing a hand on the desk between her and Cinch. Cinch’s sharp gaze drifted downward for a moment.
Aria and Sonata looked at each other and grinned.
“Commodore~” Adagio said. Her voice carried like the chime of a bell. Her hair was starting to float around her head.
“Rear Admiral!” Cinch stammered.
“Whatever. Cinch, you know how elusive and crafty I can be. If you keep employing me, I’ll secure your next promotion. The Griffon and his men will be more than a bounty for you. They will be your legacy.” Adagio said, drifting forward.
Aria and Sonata slithered out of their chairs after her.
“Oh, well, that may be the case, but its the principal of the thing! I can’t be seen cavorting with…with pirates!” 
Adagio’s hands alighted on Cinch’s cheeks like tender yellow butterflies.
“And there’s the beauty, Cinch. That’s my payment for this endeavor. I won’t be a pirate anymore if you grant me and my sisters a full pardon.” Adagio cooed.
Aria and Sonata began to harmonize, singing a dark, ancient song.
“What? You can’t be serious.”
“Not just for our crimes in british territory. If the Spanish and the British are about to break bread, I’m sure that a rear admiral on the way to vice could make a strong argument for the brave women fighting in defense of their union. The three heroes that were instrumental pawns in your grand strategy to capture The Griffon?” Adagio purred, her eyes flashing green. 
“Ah, I…see your point.” Cinch droned.
“Why, with all these heroes and villains and grand strategy, this  endeavor could easily become the stuff of legends! Don’t you agree?”
Adagio scratched Cinch’s chin like a puppy.
“Yes…absolutely. We’ll make excellent partners.”
“Don’t flatter yourself. I’ll drip feed you some instructions, and then when the night comes, we’ll spring the trap. You’ll become a hero, you’ll give us our pardon and then we will part ways.” Adagio said, sitting on Cinch’s desk.
“Yes. Of course.”
The song had sunken into Cinch’s mind. He gazed at Adagio like a lovestruck puppy, his eyes lost in a green haze.
“You’ll also give me whatever is in that new safe you have under this desk.”
“Of course.” Cinch rose from his chair, bending stiffly to unlock the bottom cabinet of his desk. Sonata ran around the desk and hunched over to look at the loot.
“Is this why you took your time with The Griffon?” Aria said, wrenching her hatchet from the desk.
“Yes, exactly. I managed to get a half-decent meal out of him. He gave me quite a charge.” Adagio said, checking her nails.
“Yeah. I could see that.” Aria scowled. “Don’t get attached. He’s just an idiot that’s good with a sword.”
“He’s useful, so I will continue to do as I please. Do you have a problem with that?“ Adagio glared.
“I’m just saying, you shouldn’t trust him”
“What do you know?” Adagio said. 
“I know that humans are scum, and he’s gonna disappoint you if you let him. So don’t let him.”
“Was that an order, Aria?” 
“Just an opinion.” Aria said, looking away.
“Girls, girls! Look what he’s got in here!” Sonata laughed.
Adagio and Aria went around the table. A rush of mirth hit Aria so hard that she started tearing up, straining to hold back laughter.
At the bottom of the cabinet, Adagio saw a small stack of British crowns, and next to it was another toy with a strap like the one Sonata had found before. This one was longer and curved, and it was carved out of dark, polished oak. 
The Vice Admiral stood still, looking forward with his glassy eyes and dull smile.
“Oh, Cinch. You make it too easy.” Adagio said.





“You’re a slippery bitch! You’re what the song means when it says ‘really bad eggs!” Buck laughed drunkenly. His cheeks were filled with dizzy red warmth, and he slumped a bit as he spoke.
“Guilty as charged, Buck!” Adagio laughed a bit louder than she wanted to, then covered her mouth and hiccuped. The empty bottles on the coffee table in front of her were likely to blame.
“You know, this story has a disturbing lack of sea shanties! Yo ho, yo ho a pirate’s life for me!”
“That’s not even a real shanty!” Adagio said.
“There once was a ship that put to sea, the name of the ship was the billy o’ tea~!” Buck sang dramatically, bumbling over and nearly knocking Adagio off the couch.
“That’s also not a real shanty!”  Adagio said, pushing Buck back with a silly grin.
“So you’re gonna throw this guy under the bus to buy your vacation to the dirty south!” Buck said. “Halfway fair I guess. Seemed sorta aggressive, you know?”
“I do know. Don’t you?” Adagio giggled.
“Don’t you have any stories where you’re not the villain?” Buck said.
“Think of it from my perspective, Buck! Every human I had met since coming to your worth was stupid or vapid or otherwise rotten! My standards were skewed.”
“I bet Sonata was right. I bet it was the hat!” Buck laughed, poking Adagio in the side.
“Shut up; I hate you!” Adagio laughed, swatting Buck’s hand away.
“I’m not hatin’! I can tell he had some real style, but if you liked him, why sell him out?” Buck said.
Adagio went somber and seemed to stare through time.
“You don’t understand. Every once in a while, the odd human wandering around out there happens to have some true character. I never knew that could happen until I met the Griffon. I was caught off guard, and I couldn’t show weakness in front of the girls. They were depending on me to be the Adagio Dazzle that led them through countless victories in Equestria, so yes, I chose the path that was most profitable to me. The truth is, Aria was right. I was fixating on the man. I needed to prove that I was better.”
“Better as what?”
“As a swordsman, as a leader, as an...everything!” Adagio said.
“Oh, is that all?” Buck chuckled.
“What can I say? Sometimes a person just gets under you skin. In my case, it’s often a human mutt that causes me no small amount of grief.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes. They often leave me with a few good memories, and an indescribable mess to clean.” Adagio smirked. “Does that remind you of anyone, Buck?”
Buck scratched his chin and shrugged. 
“Hm, nope, can’t relate.” Buck laughed.
“You are such an idiot!” Adagio snort laughed and laid her head on Buck’s shoulder. The tender warmth against her cheek suddenly gave her pause. Adagio expected Buck to scooch away from her, lest his precious girlfriend detect cooties when he got home, but Buck didn’t seem to mind. He threw an arm around her shoulders and smiled.
Adagio looked at Buck as if he’d just returned from a trip to the moon.
“What? You’re cold.” Buck said, patting Adagio’s arm.
“You don’t know the half of it.” Adagio sighed, getting comfortable.
“So you went to the ball, fucked everyone over and came away clean?” Buck said.
“That’s not exactly what happened. Plans like this are appealing on paper, but they always get messy at the last 	second.”
“So, what happened next?”





Months came and months went, and Adagio sent letters to The Griffon and Cinch alike, refining the plan with each correspondence. 
Adagio was absorbed in the task of making the night run smoothly. So keen was her focus that The Siren Sisters abstained from any raiding throughout the duration; a turn of events that Sonata took as a vacation and Aria took as an agonizing lull. 
Spring gave way to summer as Adagio meticulously sculpted the ball to her favor, and in the blink of an eye, the Siren Sisters were riding a private carriage in Havana; the city of shipwrights.
Havana at the time was truly beginning to turn baroque; its colonial homes near the coast gave way to Italian-style mansions built on the backs of slaves. 
Everywhere Adagio peeked through the buggy’s curtains she saw intricately barred windows, square-cut stone pillars, and covered walkways shielding pedestrians from the near-constant drizzle. The port was filled with ships and the air was rich with the smell of roasting coffee and the sound of rumba music coming from the nearby market plaza.
“We have the idol. Why don’t we just sell it, get our supplies and go to the New World right now?” Aria grumbled.
“Cinch knows we have the idol. If we sell it and he finds out, he’ll bring a fleet down on our heads, or put a blockade in our way. It’s easier on us if we simply play both sides, and we’ll net a much more substantial reward when we succeed.” Adagio said.
“Yeah, Aria! You worry too much! Adagio has it all figured out!” Sonata said.
“If we just killed The Griffon and Cinch, we wouldn’t be caught in the middle of this mess.” Aria said.
“Save the killing for the ball. I’m sure there will be plenty of fodder to dull your axe on.” Adagio said.
“I'm just saying, beating that idiot isn't worth all of this-”
“Enough. Come in close, girls.” Adagio said, opening a long piece of parchment.
“What’s that?” Sonata said.
“A map of the concert hall where the ball is taking place, courtesy of The Griffon.” Adagio smirked.
“Ugh. Why do all the buildings in this stupid town have such stupidly long names?” Aria huffed.
“Oh, let me try! It’s…Bass?”
“Sound it out.” Adagio said.
“Basilica…menor, day…San Francisco?”
“Yes?” Adagio said.
“Ooh! Basilica Menor…de San Francisco de A…Azzie? Asis!”
“Excellent, Sonata! So you have been paying attention!” Adagio said.
“Not like it’s going to be useful…we’re about to go to different country anyway.” Aria grumbled. Sonata stuck her tongue out, then smiled innocently when Aria growled at her.
“Hold the corners.” Adagio said.
Aria and Sonata shuffled to either side of Adagio, holding the map up while she indicated with her finger. Hours later, the Siren Sisters approached the subject of the map from the plaza, bold as brass and clearly armed.
“Now, the basilica used to be a church. There’s a single steeple, a couple of side rooms, and the main hall. There are only two entrances; the front doors and the back entrance leading to the adjacent alley. There will be guards posted at entrance, and Cinch expects us to let The Griffon and crew in the back door, where they will be swiftly captured.” Adagio said.
Later that same day, a few hours before sunset, Adagio strolled with purpose and authority, treating the guards at the front doors with a sweet smile as they had no choice but to let her through. She nodded at Cinch, whose flavor was a cocktail of excitement and shame.
Everywhere Adagio looked, she saw Spanish nobility and British ponces quietly glaring at each other beneath the light of a hanging chandelier. There was a wide and polished stage, with a full orchestra pit below it.
“But we’re not doing that, because that would be too easy.” Aria said, back in the buggy.
“Naturally. The basilica’s steeple was damaged in a series of storms several years ago, and it is still under construction to this day.”
“So what?” Aria said.
“So, it lost the top forth of it’s height. Do you see that line of houses just across the street? How they separate the basilica’s plaza from the harbor?”
“Ooh! Are we gonna rob them too?” Sonata said.
“No. Well, if we have the time…no, we ought to stay focused. The plan is simple; while The Griffon’s men are lead into a ‘trap’ in the backdoor, the man himself will throw a hook from the adjacent building up to the broken tower. Then he’ll grapple his way up and come into the hall through roof access. He’ll make a grand speech, we’ll cause a big distraction and cut his crew loose, then we and his crew will steal everything of value at the banquet, go up the tower, rappel across the street and escape to the harbor.” Adagio said.
At the gala, the Siren Sisters split up. Sonata went to the back rooms, smiling and waving at the guards who were unsubtly hoisting a net made for people rather than fish. Aria went up the tower stairs with a grapnel and rope.
“There’s no way that’s going to work. Cinch has got to have way more men waiting for The Griffon, since he knows the heist is happening.” Aria said in the buggy.
“Naturally, there will be an ambush. We are expected to cut the rope and let the griffon’s men fall to the street below. While Cinch’s men capture the crew, we will apprehend the Griffon.”
“Wow, you make it sound so easy!” Sonata said.
Adagio grinned menacingly.
“It will be, for me. The Griffon will be exhausted from all the gallivanting about, whereas I will have absorbed plenty of magic from the panicking guests. I’ll defeat him, we’ll clap him in irons, get our pardon and payment, then we’ll take whatever was stolen before it can be redistributed and make for the harbor. If all goes according to plan, we’ll be in the New World by this time next year. Any questions?” 
At the gala, Sonata tapped Adagio on the shoulder.
“I’ve got a question! Who are those guys?” Sonata said, pointing across the hall. 
At a row of tables positioned far away from the nobility, Adagio she saw a rogue’s gallery of cutthroats and scoundrels, all of which she regretfully recognized.
Adagio saw the notorious Captain Heartstrings, a former decorated marine turned pirate known for exaggerated swagger and an odd sitting style. She saw John Hoofbeard, a brigand who swore no allegiance to anyone but was apparently the former captain of the most feared ship on the main. 
Adagio’s eyes drifted over the man named Cratus, who was now sporting a few wooden fingers. He cringed as Sonata waved in his direction. 
Lastly and most troubling, Adagio recognized the leader of a fearsome fleet of over fifty ships, and the only other female pirate captain operating on the main. It was the legendary Phantom Doll, Cozy Glow. She looked altogether too young to be in this or any business.
Rear Admiral Cinch strutted like a rooster to Adagio’s side, his chest puffed out with pride.
“Isn’t it marvelous?”
“Is this your doing, Cinch?” Adagio said, eye twitching.
“Naturally! I’ve a great headwind of popularity behind me at the moment, and I thought I might spread my influence a bit and acquire some extra insurance.”
“Come again?”
“I figured, why stop with just one small group of privateers when I could get more? Two of those men are expert duelists, master Cratus is excellent at the art of capture, and Cozy Glow, well, she needs no introduction! She’s taken the liberty of blockading the mouth of the harbor for me.”
“Excuse me?” Adagio hissed. She could see Cozy Glow smile at her across the hall, raising a glass of cheap wine.
Sonata gently tugged at Adagio’s sleeve, patting her shoulder to try and calm her down.
“Oh yes. While you three are quite crafty indeed, you’ve already failed once to apprehend The Griffon. I cannot suffer another failure tonight, so I've employed these extra hands. You’ll still get pardoned for your cooperation, naturally, but I’m afraid your payment will be revoked if you fail to catch the captain.” Cinch said.
“But-” Adagio started.
“But I doubt it will come to that. With Cozy Glow’s fleet in place, The Griffon will have no means of escape. That won’t be a problem for you, will it? It ought to make catching him even easier.”
“And you didn’t think to tell me about this at any point before we assembled here?” Adagio said.
“I was so busy preparing for the ball, I couldn’t find the time! But, you and your lot are adaptable. I’m sure you’ll figure things out. Oh, and before I forget…” Cinch said, unfurling a piece of rolled parchment in front of Adagio. She saw paragraphs of legal jargon. At the bottom it read; “Vice Admiral Caliper Cinch.”
“V.A. Cinch? Aren’t you jumping the gun a bit?” Adagio said.
“Not at all. If all goes to plan, I will be a Vice Admiral by the time this pardon reaches the British constabulary. Of course, if it reaches headquarters and I’m not a Vice Admiral, it will be null and void, as I won’t be of the rank to legitimize it.”
“I see.” 
“And I’ve taken the liberty of writing up similar documents for all privateers present. What better incentive could there be to make the night go swimmingly? Now, did you bring the idol?”
“Sis?” Sonata whispered, patting Adagio’s shoulder.
Adagio blinked away the murder in her eyes, produced the eagle talon idol, and handed it to Cinch.
“Excellent. Carry on.” Cinch said, walking away with a grin.
“Uh, Sis? What do we do now?” Sonata said. Adagio clenched her fist so tight that her knuckles cracked.
“Now…we get creative.”





“That Cinch sounds like a total dickhead.”
“In later years, I found it impossible to be angry at Cinch.”
“Why’s that?”
“Humans are duplicitous by nature. Cinch’s ambitions were not so different from mine. I relished the challenge and pressure. And if I’m being honest, the cruel and callous nature of your world suited me better then than the saccharine facade of the world of ponies. It was almost...comforting.”
“Wow, now I know you must be drunk.”
“Hm?”
“You would never make a confession like that unless your were poisoned all to fuck.” Buck slurred.
“I think we’ve both had a little too much to drink, Buck. You no longer seem fazed at my dark schemes.”
“I mean, it was lifetimes ago, wasn’t it? I can’t really blame you for what you did hundreds of years ago. You were a different person back then.”
“I am the exact same person I was then, Buck.”
“Nah.”
“And you’re as hardheaded as ever. It’s getting late. Should we call it quits for the night?”
“No, no, this is just gettin’ good!”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure, I’m sure!” 
Adagio tasted honest enthusiasm. Buck was like a puppy waiting for a stick to be thrown. The warmth of his shoulder seemed to spread through her whole body as she settled in and continued the tale.




 
Adagio seethed silently while the other captains postured about the age of piracy coming to an end, or idle threats about who’s mast was bigger, or what have you, Adagio couldn’t be bothered to care. She was dimly aware of Cozy Glow’s eyes on her, but all of her thoughts were on salvaging the night. 
Aria descended from the steeple, scowling even deeper than usual. She followed Adagio as she rose. The Siren Sisters huddled in the corner as Rear Admiral Cinch took center stage.
“Girls? New plan.” Adagio said.
“Finally. This party sucked anyway.” Aria said.
“But the punch is so good!” Sonata said.
“That’s sangria, Sonata.” Aria said.
“The new plan is the old plan. Follow my lead.” Adagio said.
The orchestra came to life with a low and regal tune.
“Welcome, friends and neighbors! I’d like to welcome you all to this momentous occasion.  Today, we gather in pursuit of diplomacy between our nations, and to that end I am happy to offer an olive branch of the highest order.” Cinch said, presenting the eagle talon idol to a string of oohs and ahhs.
“Gods but he does love the sound of his own voice.” Adagio said.
A small shattering noise came from the back of the building.
“This idol, once brutishly stolen from the hands of our Spanish neighbors, is a testament to the ferocity and tenacity of their culture, and we humbly offer it back with our warmest regards as proof of our commitment to collaboration. It was acquired through nothing short of a herculean effort on the part of myself and my men, and so it is my honor to present it here as a beacon of peace.”
A series of thuds came from the back rooms. Several diplomats turned their heads, but Cinch addressed them at double the volume.
“Not to worry gentlemen! It’s just rats in the walls; you know how these old buildings can be! Now I know you all are eager to begin your dinner, drinks and talks, but I’d like a moment to thank all the wonderful little people that brought us to this point. I’d like to thank my parents for having the decency to die of plague after ostracizing me for joining the navy. I’d like to thank Vice Admiral Celestia for trying to block my inevitable ascent through the ranks. Most of all, I’d like to thank all of the vicious swindlers, dastards and pirates that have stood before me and fallen one by one.” Cinch said.
“Oh, gag.” Aria said.
“Though they weren’t all bad. We have in our esteemed company a crew of the finest privateers I could employ to secure this place from others of their ilk. They have come here in the name of cooperation, just as we all have.” 
Sonata glanced toward the backrooms.
“So do I still…?” Sonata said.
“Not until the show starts.” Adagio said. “Aria, you know what to do.”
“The usual?” Aria said.
Across the room, through a stone archway marked as “roof access”, swooped The Griffon’s parrot. It flew up to the rafters, unseen by Cinch.
“Exactly. Now, I think we’re just about to hit my queue.”
Adagio grinned evilly at her sisters, then strolled toward the stage.
“And so, I’d like to propose a toast! To the future, to Spain and Great Britain! To nobles and pirates alike! I wish you all the best of luck, regardless of the inevitable outcome.” 
The sounds of tapping feet came from up above the hall, and then the crowd gasped as a window shattered inward.
The Griffon swung down and into the building on a long rope, jumping off it with a flourish, just barely managing to land on the edge of the stage. The audience gasped.
“What’s inevitable is that I’m gonna rob you all blind! Boys!” The Griffon said, drawing his cutlass.
The back door clattered open and in rushed the Griffon’s men, including the diminutive Pip, who looked positively terrified. The crew drew blades and looked ready to cause some carnage.
The Griffon winked at Adagio as she stepped to the stage on the opposite side.
“That’s what you think!” Cinch sneered. He snapped his fingers, and a rope net fell from the ceiling, entangling the Griffon’s crew to the floor. “Now you’re all alone! My associate and I will be taking you into custody!”
Adagio drew her blade and stood beside Cinch, who blinked stupidly for a moment and then brandished his blade as well.
“You think this is enough to slow me down?” The Griffon said.
“What are you going to do without your men!?” Cinch said.
“Hah! I’ll show all you upper crust pigs that the sea will never be ruled by the Spanish or the British! It belongs to the free and the bold!” The Griffon said, drawing his cutlass. He gestured out across the room like a magician, and the net holding his men was lifted back to the ceiling.
Adagio glared at Sonata, who looked more confused than usual, shrugging her shoulders. As Adagio glanced around, she saw that the net’s rope was being hoisted by none other than the unassuming cabin boy Pip, who must have slipped through the holes.
“And now I’m going to do what pirates do! Take what you can!” The Griffon said.
“And give nothing back!” The men shouted, and charged.
“Get them, men!” Cinch squealed.
A contingent of guards burst in through the front doors. The hired cutthroats rose from their seats. Someone in the crowd screamed, and suddenly the hall descended into chaos. 
Cinch charged at The Griffon, swinging his sword like a blind butcher's cleaver. The Griffon effortlessly tripped Cinch as he approached Adagio.
“So it turns out that Cinch has far more guards than expected.” The Griffon said. He casually swatted Adagio’s blade out of his face, only for it to drift right back between them.
“It seems that way,” Adagio said, grinning. 
“In addition, the port is blocked.”
“That’s right.”
“And if I’m not mistaken, I can see a small squad of incredibly notorious pirate captains, as well as that Cratus fellow.”
“Mhm.”
“So what’s the play, now?” The Griffon said.
“Now I defeat you, subdue you, and get a reward in the form of a full pardon.” Adagio said, her blade pointed at The Griffon’s throat.
“Ah.” The Griffon said.
“Nothing personal.” Adagio winked.
The Griffon looked at Adagio, looked at the crowd, then stuffed the eagle talon idol in his belt and made to run.
Adagio stepped swiftly into his path, and they crossed swords once again. They darted around each other like dancers, The Griffon blocking and dodging Adagio’s swift strikes.
“Hate to see that you’re so predictable, little dolphin.” The Griffon frowned.
“Or do you just hate to lose?” Adagio smiled.
“The scores’ still one-zero for me, love!”
“Only because I’ve been taking it easy on you!” Adagio said. She hummed the first few notes of an old song as she prodded at The Griffon’s defenses.
A green haze rose from the din, streaming into Sonata, then Aria, who had gleefully joined the melee. Adagio seemed to lose several years of age as she fought her way across the stage.
Adagio nearly knocked the cutlass from the Griffon’s hand, forcing him to draw his second blade just to keep up with Adagio’s burst of speed. 
Adagio tasted a sudden twinge of panic in The Griffon’s flavor. Like a deliciously spiked punch, it tickled her tongue.  
“What is this!? Witchcraft?” The Griffon said.
Adagio ducked a horizontal chop and suddenly her blade was pointed at The Griffon’s face.
“This is what happens when you underestimate a sea witch! Were you truly so foolish as to think I wouldn’t betray you again?” Adagio’s eyes glowed with malice. 
“Oh, I knew you were going to do that from the start.” The Griffon said. 
Adagio lost the wind in her lungs as the Griffon’s knee connected with her stomach.
“No you did not!” Adagio coughed.
The Griffon’s gaze didn’t wander. The panic in his eyes retreated into a cold calm. The smile on his face made Adagio shiver.
“I won’t let you escape again, you dastard!” Cinch ran onto the stage once more and tried to hack at The Griffon with his saber, but Adagio and the Griffon separated, allowing Cinch to bumble between them and fall right into the orchestra pit.
“I thought there might be a net, so I made sure Pip was in the middle of the crowd, so he could scramble out and pull it up.” The Griffon said.
“Well, I had Aria run up the tower and cut the rope as soon as you made it up!”
“Which is why I packed an extra rope and grapple so that the boys and I could shimmy down.”
“Why did you use it to swing through a window?”
“The drama, obviously!” The Griffon laughed, then hissed as Adagio stamped on his foot and nearly stabbed him in the eye, the blade instead slicing a thin cut into his white mask. 
“So you still came despite knowing I would betray you!? Why!?”
The Griffon parried a strike from Adagio, but she came in with a false second swipe before bringing her fist around to his face.
The Griffon caught her fist and held it tight.
“Because you’re the smartest and loveliest woman I’ve ever met. I thought I’d give you a chance, despite the danger.”
“So you’re an idiot!”
“No, just brave.” The Griffon smiled.





“God, that’s a mood!” Buck laughed. It was another Tuesday, and the pair had not stopped drinking. Adagio’s head was in Buck’s lap.
“So it’s true what they say? That all idiots are cut from the same cloth?” Adagio slurred.
“Only thing stupider’n doin’ something dumb is not doin’ it and regretting it later.” Buck said, patting Adagio’s head. She closed her eyes and leaned into it. This must be what it's like for zookeepers to pet the big cats, Buck thought.
“Who said that?” Adagio said.
“My Dad,” Buck said. “Hey, ‘dagio? Can I tell you somethin’?”
“We’ve been over this. You can do as you please.” Adagio said
“I miss this.” Buck said.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean hanging out with you. Not for training or anything important. I miss this.”
“Buck, if you wanted to stay the night-”
“No, no, that’s not what I mean,” Buck said. 
Adagio sat up. Even through her inebriation, she could taste Buck’s nervousness. He had the look of a man who had walked into the wrong bathroom.
“If I’m making you uncomfortable, you should leave,” Adagio said.
“In a bit. Why don’t you tell me how the story ends?” Buck said.





While Adagio and The Griffon chewed the scenery, Aria and Sonata drank in the spreading bedlam down on the floor. They moved through the crowd of flailing bodies like a gallery, glowing as rivulets of pale green light seeped into them from all directions. 
Sonata lazily filled a sack with valuables from the guests while Aria lashed out at anyone who drew close.
“Well, this is getting messy. What do we do now?” Aria said, swiping with her hatchet.
“All we gotta do is trust Adagio and get back to the hammer!” Sonata said.
“How close are you to being done with the loot?”
Aria pushed Sonata’s head down just as a volley of rifle shots rang out.
“Almost, almost!” Sonata said.
Everywhere Aria turned, another blade or firearm was stuck in her face. She headbutted one man away, and as he stumbled back, another came at her with a sword.
“This is getting annoying! You wanna chill these guys out?” Aria said.
“If there’s enough mana, sure!” Sonata said.
The pair harmonized softly, as they’d done for hundreds of years. Even without Adagio’s voice in the mix, their melody sank into the ears of the crowd like a pebble on a pond, and soon the screaming voices and flailing limbs slowed to a lethargic malaise until all in attendance swayed with a glassy-eyed absence of thought.
“There, now let’s get this over with.” Aria said.
Suddenly, Aria yelped and stumbled forward.
“Hold on there, girls! The party isn’t over yet!” Said Captain Heartstrings. His sword was drawn and dripping red from the wound he had scoured on Aria’s back. Behind him, the rest of the third-party pirates stood, each glaring, or smiling in the case of Cozy Glow, in the direction of Sonata and Aria. 
“What do you stooges want!?” Aria growled.
“Looks like they’re a little too braintough for our song!” Sonata said.
“Headstrong! You mean headstrong!” Aria shouted.
Captain Heartstrings grinned and pointed a rapier at Aria.
“Since you and your lot went and turned on the good commodore-”
“Rear Admiral!” Scream Cinch from somewhere near the stage.
“...we’re going to go ahead and take you down before you give the rest of us a bad name!”
Captain Heartstrings charged at Aria, trying for all appearances to carve her heart out, and the rest followed suit, forcing Aria and Sonata to back up, tossing dinnerware, tables, and the odd person in the way. 
Aria took a knick, then a boot to the side, then a slash to the shoulder, but her eyes twinkled with excitement, and the smile on her face defied explanation as she danced through the barrage.
“Uh, Sis? Your face is doing the thing!” Sonata said.
“Shut up, I know!” Aria said, grinning with a mouthful of shark teeth. “This is fun, but there’s too much shit in the way!”
“What should we do?”
“Find a way to get these guys off me!” Aria said. Captain Heartstrings tried to plunge his blade into her throat, and Aria responded by ducking to the side and biting a chunk out of his arm.
“GAHH!” The man’s composure buckled along with his knees, but he was quickly replaced by Cratus and Hoofbeard, menacing with swords and knives and a whip.
“It’s payback time, little fish!” Cratus said. 
“Good! I can’t wait to rip you apart, just like your men!” Aria grinned. She raised her axe, then looked up to see that it wasn't present. Instead, it was across the room, in Sonata’s hands.
“What are you doing!?” Aria shouted, dodging strikes.
“This!” Sonata swung the axe at a taught rope that lead to the ceiling.
There was a rancorous crash as the hall’s chandelier tumbled down.





Adagio paused for just a moment. Several of Cinch’s men had fallen beneath the chandelier, the Griffon’s men were not much better off, and Aria was brandishing a burning table leg at everyone nearby. She saw glee on Aria’s face and the beginnings of panic on Sonata’s. 
Her sisters. She’d almost forgotten they were here.
She suddenly recoiled as the tip of The Griffon’s cutlass stung her cheek.
“Get rid of it. Whatever you’ve done to my crew, snuff it out, now!” The Griffon snarled. Adagio searched for the competitive jocular attitude she’d savored before, and instead tasted nothing but cold murder.
“Or what? You’ll kill me? Is it finally time for you to take this seriously?” Adagio purred. She parried a flurry of strikes. The Griffon’s movements seemed sluggish and unfocused.
“This isn’t a game!” The Griffon said.
“No, it’s a legend! And I will not lose the spotlight to either of you!”
Adagio felt a cold weight click around her ankle. She looked down and saw that she was connected to the Griffon by a pair of handcuffs. Cinch had made it back to the stage.
“Now, men! Kill them both!” Cinch screamed in triumph.
“Look around, Cinch! Your men are routed! You’ve lost!” The Griffon said.
“What do you mean kill them both?” Adagio said.
“Oh no, no, no, my dear Captain! My full retinue is on the way! Soon you and all you pirate scum will be under my heel, and my legend will begin!”
“Did he say ‘all’?” came a voice in the hall.
Down on the floor, Aria, Sonata, and the rest of the pirates glanced at each other.
Adagio and The Griffon looked at each other as well.
“Girls, break the spell.” Adagio sighed.
“Ugh. Fine, whatever.” Aria said, dropping her torch.
The Dazzlings all snapped in unison. A tablecloth caught fire, then another, and the hall filled with screams, once again.
“Shall we?” Adagio said.
“We shall. Boys!? Out the back! We’re done here!” The Griffon shouted.
The Griffon’s men broke from their panic, and like a squad of trained dogs, they made a beeline for the back rooms.
“Girls!” Adagio shouted.
“Meet at the ship!” Aria and Sonata said together, then ran for the front door. Cinch’s remaining men stumbled after the pirates, bewildered, as the pirate captains dispersed. 
“You’re not going anywhere!” Cinch screamed. Adagio and The Griffon tried to run in opposite directions and fell to the floor.
“Oh, brilliant.” Adagio groaned.
Cinch raised his saber like a farmer’s scythe.
“Cali! Pweet!” The Griffon whistled.
Cinch gasped, looking confused, and was immediately set upon by a flurry of feathers and sharp talons. 
“Arrk! Fire on the poop deck!” Squawked the parrot.
Adagio coughed at the rising smoke, then gasped as she was pulled to her feet.
“Come on, love! Up the stairs! Move those legs! One, two, one two!” The Griffon said.
“I know, I know!” Adagio said. Guards came at them even as they went for the tower stairs, leaving Adagio no choice but to fight shoulder to shoulder with the Griffon as they ascended.
“You…are…acting very nonchalant about my betrayal!” Adagio said between sword swings.
“Occupational hazard, little dolphin! I don’t take it personal!” The Griffon laughed and kicked a guard in the chest, sending him rolling down the stairs.
The was a crash down the staircase, and as Adagio and The Griffon fled upward, she found her sour expression wavering.
The last thing she heard was Cinch screaming.
“Get after them, men! Sound the alarm! Ready the ships! GET ME THOSE BLOODY PIRATES!”
 




As smoke streamed out of the windows of the music hall, a vast clattering of fancy shoes stampeded out of the doors. An alarm bell rang over the din.
Aria and Sonata were given a wide berth, as one had a sack full of ill-gotten booty over her shoulder, and the other was swinging a hatchet with murderous accuracy.
“Hurry up and find a way out of here, Sonata!” Aria shouted over the crowd. A pair of guards tried to clap her in irons, but a few decisive swings of Aria’s hatchet sent them away screaming or in pieces. 
“I’m trying! I’m trying!” Sonata ran for a stagecoach, but it galloped away. She tried another, and it charged off in the opposite direction. “Everyone is freaking out! Why’d you have to go and light the place on fire?”
“It’s not my job to not start fires!” Aria said. “Now hurry up and get us a ride!”
Sonata scanned the crowd. Her eyes lit up as they fell on Cratus, who was shuffling into the driver’s seat of a large, beaten-up stagecoach that was shaking oddly. The sounds of furious feral beasts could be heard coming from the back. 
“Oohh Cray-Cray~!” Sonata sang, skipping over to the wagon.
“No. No, no, no, stay away from me!” Cratus yowled.
He pulled a pistol, which was on the ground in the crack of a whip. Another two fingers were unfortunate casualties of that whip crack, and Cratus let everyone know.
“AAAAGHH! YE BROKE MY OTHER HAND YE BILGE SPITTING STRUMPET!” Cratus wailed.
A contingent of guards came running, rifles at the ready as Sonata and Aria jumped on top of the stagecoach.
“Shut up and drive or I’ll break your face!” Aria snarled.





The stone gave way to wooden scaffolding amidst the ruins of the top of the old tower. There was a rope attached to the wall just a bit above Adagio’s head as she looked out over the sun-dappled streets.
“Tell me you’re moored out past the harbor!” The Griffon said, testing the rope.
“Naturally!”
“Good. My jollyboat isn’t too far. The harbor will be on high alert in a second-”
“But we have a west-facing wind!” Adagio said, a finger in the air.
“Lucky! Let’s get moving!” The Griffon pulled the rope up, squinted across the street, and gave himself plenty of slack.
“How are we going to escape? It’s a one-way trip, and Cinch’s men will try to blow us out of the water if we take the open channel!”
The Griffon wrapped an arm around Adagio’s waist, and without a moment’s thought, the pair swung down.
They landed in an inelegant heap on the rooftop across from the hall and immediately tumbled down the slippery shingles. They hit the alley with a thud and kept hobbling for the water as a chorus of stamping boots approached from behind.
Somewhere in the madness, Adagio could hear Cinch caterwauling something that vaguely resembled orders.
“Hah! Open channel, she says! Did you forget that this is Havana!?” The Griffon said
The alley fell behind them. Adagio looked forward and saw drifting, gleaming ships gliding across the bay. White flags and bright gilding caught the evening light, and hot-headed young ‘captains’ argued over who had the right of way. 
“I’d like to see Cinch try to justify any rounds in these hulls!” The Griffon said.
“Stop right there!” 
Adagio looked left and saw a crowd of patrolmen with pistols. She looked right and saw the same. The Griffon glanced toward the bay, and Adagio could see his bright-sailed jollyboat at the end of a stubby dock.
Adagio took The Griffon’s hand.
“Do you trust me!?” Adagio said.
“Do you want to die here!?” The Griffon said.
“No!” Adagio said.
“Then yes, I trust you!” The Griffon laughed.
“Cover your ears!”
Adagio let go and balled her fists, taking in a great gulp of air. She let fly a hideous wail that blasted a hole in the group of men flanking then.
Adagio’s hair faded in color.
“And duck!” The Griffon pulled Adagio down as a round of shots flew over her head. “Now run!”
The Griffon and Adagio ran over the scattered guards and finally made it to the boat, the Griffon frantically swinging his blades, fighting for his life while Adagio tried to undo the rope.
“The ones in the back are reloading, love! We’ve got to go now!”
“I know, I know, give me a moment!” After failing to untangle the rope  Adagio hacked at it with her sword, then turned to unfurl the sail. She yanked her leg forward and dragged The Griffon into the boat. 
“Get on the sail! I’ll take the rudder!” Adagio said.
The boat caught the wind and bumped the dock before clumsily sliding into the bay. The Griffon grabbed the sail rope with one hand, holding off the guards with a saber in the other until the dinghy slid between some drifting ships, right on course to smash into the hull of an approaching brig.
“Hard aport!” The Griffon shouted.
Adagio wrenched the rudder over and the dinghy charged around the ship without taking a scratch.
“Don’t you order me around!” Adagio protested.
“Same team, love, same team!” The Griffon said.
Adagio looked back and saw that not all of the ships were for show. Frigates and brigs with colors from both the Spanish and British were charging after them, albeit several yards behind.
“Now starboard!” The Griffon said, and the little boat zigged and zagged, barely avoiding the flashy custom ships, to the fist-shaking chagrin of the helmsmen.
Adagio’s hair whipped around her face as she and The Griffon frantically steered the dinghy past another pod of ships.
“Hah! Are you sure you don’t want to join my crew? You’ve the makings of an incredible helmsman!” The Griffon said.
“I excel at everything I do! I’m far too talented to work under someone else!” Adagio laughed.
“Do you excel at dodging firing squads?” The Griffon said with a point at the shore. Adagio peered through her spyglass.
A stagecoach was rapidly approaching on the side of the harbor. Adagio could see Cinch riding in front with a squad of armed guards in the back and on top, all loading rifles.
“Ready, men!” Cinch said, holding a hand up The guards presented arms. 
“Cinch has gone mad!” The Griffon said.
“What did you do to get him so fixated on you?” Adagio said.
“Pot, meet kettle.” Buck said, far in the future.
“It must be my magnetic charm!” The Griffon said.
“Oh, very good! Then you can attract all of their rounds!” Adagio snarked.
“Aim!” Cinch shouted.
The men levered their arms at the fleeing dinghy, ready to puncture its sails and occupants full of holes. 
Another pleasure cruiser was ahead on the waves, but it was many yards away.
Adagio hummed a frantic tune. She pulled on The Griffon’s emotions and reached out through the sea, trying to summon a wave that would catch the onslaught.
The sea refused to listen.
“We’re not going to make it!” Adagio said.
“Well, if this is it, at least I get to die alongside the most beautiful woman on the spanish main!” The Griffon beamed at Adagio.
“You’re accepting death, just like that!?” Adagio said.
“If I die in the drink, they’ll never know who The Griffon truly was! Just a mask and a smile! That’s how legends are born!” The Griffon said.
Adagio’s eyes widened. The certainty in the Griffon’s voice was shocking. For so long, Adagio had lived as a legend, for legends of Equestria held great power and lived for generations. She had never even thought of legends as stories of the dead, and yet here was a man who lived without regrets, and was more than happy to take his bow at a moment’s notice. The glee in his eyes defied explanation.
Adagio looked to the shore and saw hell’s fury in Cinch’s eyes.
That fury was suddenly replaced by panic as several of his guards fell onto the road.
Another stagecoach had approached Cinch’s from behind. One driven by a man with tears in his eyes and reins sloppily knotted around a broken hand.
Three more men fell into the street, having been halfway bisected by Aria’s vicious swings. 
“Hah! That’s what a real legend looks like!” Adagio laughed.
She and The Griffon watched as Aria battered away every guard in her path. Cinch rose with his blade, ready to defend his honor, but Aria ducked as Sonata came up behind her with two handfuls of writhing snakes.
Sonata tossed the snakes at Cinch and the cabbie, and both of them dove from the stagecoach, screaming in terror.
Cratus screamed in protest about his merchandise before buckling under Aria’s glower.
“Amazing! Now that is what I call a skeleton crew!” The Griffon cheered, waving at Aria and Sonata as their carriage disappeared behind a line of houses.
“We’re not out of the storm just yet!” Adagio shouted, pointing forward. 
One last obstacle stood between the unlikely duo and freedom; a blockade across the mouth of the bay, flying black flags. 
Gliding slowly to its head, menacing with two rows of broadside cannons was the flagship of Cozy Glow’s fleet, the Judith’s Dagger. Adagio could just barely make out the young menace of the seas, holding up a hand to her sizable crew. Waiting.
“Are you hiding any other exceptional crewmates, little dolphin? Besides the two in your bodice?” The Griffon said.
“Will you take this seriously for just one second!?” Adagio snarled.
“There’ll be plenty of time for that when I’m dead!” The Griffon laughed. 
Adagio peered through her spyglass.
“The Dagger isn’t in position yet! We can gun it through the gap if we get enough speed!” 
“This wind is strong, but not that strong! I don’t suppose Cozy Glow owes you any favors!?” The Griffon said.
“She’s my biggest competitor, you absolute fool!”
“Then what’s the plan, oh mighty witch of the seas!?”
“Give me a moment!” Adagio snapped. 
She had tried to tap The Griffon’s excitement, but it just wasn’t as strong as it had been on the Gull Keys. Perhaps she was coming at this the wrong way. There was another feeling she could draw from. One that was potentially stronger. One that, though Adagio was loathed to admit it, was coming from both sides.
Adagio rose from her seat, grabbed The Griffon by the shoulders, and kissed him. 
There was no resistance, no ego, and no snark.
For a moment, there was nothing but burning, red passion. 
It was intoxicating, and at the time, Adagio thought it was a wholly private moment.
She was wrong, for on the road, through the briefest break in the line of houses, Aria caught a glimpse of the embrace.
When Adagio finally pulled away, she felt a flame in her stomach. It was nothing but an ember compared to the power she used to wield, but it would have to be enough.
Adagio turned and sang to the water once more, hands outstretched. The waves stirred.
“What are you doing there, love?” The Griffon said, bashfully adjusting his mask.
“Take up the sail.”
“What?” The Griffon said, already pulling the rope.
“Now.”
The jollyboat lurched forward, sending Adagio and the Griffon to their knees. A wave had caught it, propelling the boat like a sailfish toward the shrinking gap in Cozy Glow’s ships.
The gap shrunk, and as Adagio approached, she could see the men aboard the fleet, guns at the ready, awaiting orders, but Cozy Glow did not budge.
Adagio hummed and incanted and prayed as the hounding ships gained. The jollyboat was picking up speed, getting closer and closer to the opening, and still Cozy Glow didn’t lower her hand.
Adagio's eyes met with her distant rival, and Cozy Glow’s stern expression curled into a smirk.
The jollyboat scraped against the keel of the Judith’s Dagger, and then it was out of the harbor.
The British and Spanish ships tried to change course as Cozy Glow dropped her hand. The blockade fired all at once.
“Well! It seems we’re the ones that owe her a favor.” The Griffon said, dropping the sail. 
“She’s giving us time. We should use it.” Adagio said.
“Right. We’ll regroup on my ship and get these manacles off, and then we can talk about what comes next.” The Griffon said.
“Yes, I think your ship will do just fine.” Adagio said, peering through her spyglass.
“That’s unnaturally compliant of you. Feeling a bit sick?”
“No, but it appears that my ship is off the table.”
Adagio pointed out on the bay, where the Medusa’s Hammer was in the midst of sailing off into the evening fog. Adagio spied her black flag taken down, replaced by one featuring a skull and crossed swords. With a squint, she could barely make out the gold-gilt smile of Captain Hoofbeard as he made off with her ship.
“And here I was starting to think you’re a good luck charm.” The Griffon said.
Adagio stared blankly at the ass of her precious cutter as it sailed away. She looked at the firefight taking place in the harbor, then at The Griffon.
“Hahahahaah!” Adagio doubled over, cackling like she’d just remembered the funniest joke in history.
“What? Why are you laughing?” The Griffon said.
“Today has been an unmitigated failure!” Adagio laughed.
“Well, I don’t know about that.“
The Harpies’ Labrys came around the horn, and to Adagio’s surprise, the Griffon’s crew was on it, and relatively unscathed.
The Griffon patted Adagio on the shoulder, sending a warm spark through her skin.
“By all accounts, I’d say it was a lovely ball. Now let’s go find your girls.”





It was Sunday. Adagio returned to her suite alone.
Without a presence to chide, or tease, or order around, all Adagio had was a bottle of wine and her empty, echoing suite.
He would come back. Just as her sisters would. They had to.
She hated herself for her weakness.
She hated herself for not being able to commit to the role.
He had given her an inroad. Just three easy words. All she had to do was lie.
But who would she be lying to?
Adagio took a long drink straight from the bottle.
She was too tired and too angry to scheme, so she cranked up her gramophone and dropped the needle.
She lifted the rapier again. 
She remembered.





It didn’t take long to find Aria and Sonata. 
Shortly after Adagio and The Griffon stumbled onto the Harpies’ Labrys, still shackled together at the ankle, they saw an unfamiliar ship approaching, flying a white flag. With a peek through the spyglass, Adagio saw that it was Aria and Sonata, having commandeered Cratus’ ship, the Dog of War. It was an ugly, square-shaped thing, lacking in much besides cages and armaments, but it would have to do for the moment.
What was far more repulsive was the cargo. Down in the brig, Adagio saw scores of humans packed shoulder to shoulder, bound in chains. They were underfed and filthy and not a single one of them spoke a language that Adagio knew. 
As luck would have it, The Griffon had a grasp of some of the dark continents’ vocabulary, and so none of them resisted when their shackles were released and they were asked if they needed an escort to more open waters.
“Exotic freight, indeed.” Adagio said.
“People aren’t freight, love.” The Griffon said.
“I suppose this is yet another ship that’s slipped through my fingers.” Adagio said.
“Oh? I didn’t think you’d be so eager to part with it.” The Griffon said.
“They need it more than I do, don’t they?” Adagio said.
“Surprisingly decent of you.” The Griffon said.
“You’re telling me.” Aria grumbled.
She was on her knees, trying to saw through the shackles holding Adagio and the Griffon together, but all she managed to do was break a few tools.
“I may be a cutthroat scourge of the seas, but even I have standards. I’m a manipulator, not a slaver. They have their ship, and thus their freedom. Far be it from me to interfere.” Adagio said.
“Well, you can always peddle this off and buy yourself a fleet!” The Griffon said. He carelessly tossed the Eagle Talon Idol to Adagio, who very nearly dropped it to the deck. 
“You’re giving me this?”
“And your cut of the loot. You and your lot did more for the operation than all my boys put together. It’s only fair.” 
“Hmph. I don’t play at fair.” Adagio said, tucking the idol in her belt.
“Oh?”
“What do you say to one more wager? If I win, me and my girls take all of the loot when we get back to Nassau.”
“Hahahah! You’re a greedy little nasty, you know that?”
“And if you win, we split the loot fifty-fifty. And we join your crew. For a time.” Adagio said. 
“Oooooh~!” Sonata said.
“What!?” Aria said. “What about your plan? What about The New World!?”
“With what supplies, what ship and what pardon, Aria?”
“He just said that you could buy a whole fleet with that stupid rock!”
“Yes, but I want that AND the rest of the loot. Try and keep up.”
“I agree to the terms.” The Griffon said.
“WHAT!?” Aria said.
“I agree, but on two conditions!”
“Name them.” Adagio smirked.
“One. We keep the manacles on for the contest. No running away by either of us. And two, this duel won’t be to first blood. It’s over when one of us says they give in. Deal?”
The Griffon flashed the devil’s smile beneath the mask, but Adagio would not be unnerved. It was just another challenge.
“Deal.”
Their swords were out at once, and once again, Adagio found herself on the back foot, but not for long.
At this intimate range, the Griffon’s longer arms didn’t matter, but neither did the reach of Adagio’s rapier. 
Neither combatant gave any ground, for any step back would be a step forward for their opponent.
It was without tricks or skullduggery. It was passionate and honest and intimate.
The Griffon leapt up on the railing, and Adagio had no choice but to follow his steps or fall to her feet. Despite the unsteady balance, Adagio struck again and again, grinning ear to ear at the beating of her heart and the heat she felt there, a burning she hadn’t known since coming to this world of scoundrels and their dextrous hands.
The cheers of the crew melted away until there was nothing in the world but the flash of blades and the ringing of steel.
Adagio was lost, in the best way possible.
It wouldn’t last.
A boom rang out through the soupy mist.
The mast of the Harpies’ Labrys collapsed, her sails torn by chain shot.
In their celebration, both Adagio and the Griffon had grown complacent.
There were shouts and blood. Cannons loaded. Arms taken up. The crew prepared ropes and grapples, but the enemy was already boarding.
Adagio squinted through the fog. She saw British colors being flown overhead, and a plaque on the side of the attacking vessel read “HBMS Preparation”.
“Cinch.” Adagio said. "He found us after all. Truce?"
The Griffon said nothing.
He was pale beneath the eagle mask. Adagio looked down and saw why. The chain shot had taken one of his legs, and not the one that Adagio was attached to. 
The Griffon made a sound almost like an incredulous laugh, but the air had left his lungs. And then he fell into the sea, taking Adagio with him.
Home. 
Adagio drifted down into the cold, black abyss. Time slowed to a sluggish crawl as her thoughts raced.
Since coming to this place, Adagio had often taken private moments to swim in this world’s sea. It was the closest thing to home she could find, and in her effort to claw her way to infamy, wealth, and power, the cold embrace of the ocean centered her and kept her focused.
Since meeting The Griffon, she had gotten distracted, and not entirely for reasons of pride.
The Griffon had pulled her away from her path, and now he was dragging her to her death.
But no, it wasn’t her fault, and it wasn’t the Griffons. It was that bastard, Cinch.
Adagio stopped holding her breath.
Her heart frosted over in her chest. Gills rose on her neck. Red eyes. Sharpened teeth. Hatred. Cold and bottomless as the sea, all focused on one point.
She was going to flense the skin from Cinch’s bones, and then tie him to the keel.
Suddenly, warmth. 
Adagio looked down into the murky darkness.
The Griffon was awake. He had both hands on his remaining foot.
He looked at Adagio and smiled.
It was the same smile that Borky had made all those years ago.
There was a pop, and The Griffon’s foot rolled uselessly. He yanked the shackle off, and Adagio was free. He began to sink.
His eyes closed.
This would not do.
Up on the deck of the Harpies’ Labrys, the Griffon’s men fought tooth and nail to begin their escape, Aria and Sonata right at their sides, but refusing to let anyone weigh anchor.
Not until they saw Adagio flop onto the deck.
“Let’s go!” Adagio shouted through the chaos. The men caught a glimpse of their captain and rallied immediately, falling upon the British soldiers like men possessed.
There was shouting from the other ship.
Cinch’s men were determined, but in their haste to board, they had overlooked something essential.
There was another ship.
The Dog of War flanked Cinch’s warship and let fly a volley with its broadsides, and suddenly the Preparation was fighting a losing battle.
Cinch never even made it onto the Labrys, but it didn’t matter. The damage was done.
The Griffon lay still on the deck. A pool of blood was forming where his right knee used to be.
Adagio pressed on the Griffon’s chest over and over, but it didn’t seem to be working. She tried to breathe air into his lungs, but she got a mouthful of seawater.
“No, no, no no! Not now! Not now!” Adagio said.
She desperately grabbed a knife that had fallen to the deck, and tore open the Griffon’s jacket and shirt, then went back to compressing his chest, until The Griffon vomited up the sea.
“Euuurrghh!” The Griffon hacked, and with another slap on the chest, he finally breathed fresh air again.
“You sacrificed yourself for me! Why!?”
“Hah…well, I didn’t want to lose two pretty faces to the sea. But look at you! Pulled me out of the drink like a fresh fish. Turns out you can swim like a dolphin, on top of thinking like one.”
“You idiot.”
Adagio squeezed The Griffon tightly, laying her head against his chest in a moment of pure relief.
Something felt strange.
Adagio looked up and realized that the sea had taken The Griffon’s hat and mask.
She saw a pale, handsome face with a small but sharp nose. A pair of pale red eyes, a soft chin, and full lips. Long, pale green hair, which had to have been concealed beneath the hat in a net. A mole on the cheek, almost strategically placed.
Below all that, free from the ripped jacket, shirt, and binding beneath, was a pair of perky breasts.
“Celaeno.”
“What?”
“My name. It's Celaeno.”
Adagio didn’t know what to say. Adagio had seen death before, had been the cause, had been the consequence, but the spreading pale on the pirates’ face matched the numbness clutching at her own mind.
“Take care of my little lads, will you? They’re lost without a strong woman to boss them around.”
“Why would you ask this of me?”
“Oh, love. My leg’s off, and I’m running out of humors. This is the end of my story.”
“No. No, no, it’s not. I’m not done with you, yet!”
Celaeno’s hand touched Adagio’s cheek. It was cold.
“I would’ve told you, in time. I didn’t want to let you in until I knew.”
“Knew what?”
“Knew that you were like me. Always wanting to be free, and admired. It’s a nice feeling, isn’t it? To be seen. Warm.” 
“Save your words.” Adagio said. She was wet from the sea, but that didn’t account for the salty tears running down her face.
“Why now? Embarrassed?” Celaeno chuckled weakly.
“No. Annoyed.”
“Why?”
“Because I just realized what this is.” Adagio pulled the Eagle Talon Idol from her belt. She hummed a tender tune, almost like a lullaby, and the socket end of the totem sizzled. The gold grew heated and warped.
“That’s an idol, love.” Celaeno groaned. Adagio took a dagger from her belt and put the handle to Celaeno’s mouth.
“No, it’s a peg leg. Now bite down. This won’t be pleasant.”
Some would call it an act of god. A screech like that of an eagle echoing across the main and into the annals of history. A scream so loud and ferocious that the British fled at the sound of it. A sound that had to have come from the mouth of a demon.
For Adagio, it was much simpler. It was the scream of a woman who had fought tooth and nail for all her acclaim. One who had cultivated an identity around showmanship, cleverness, and panache. A born leader, who despite every disadvantage had managed to stand among giants, and even above them, all on the strength of her wits and the trust of her crew.
A woman who, in a moment of true, searing hot vulnerability, clung to another and screamed, channeling a lifetime of pain and pressure into one blazing point.
And then it was over. 
Through the flying splinters and bodies on the deck, Adagio dragged the woman behind the man called The Griffon into the captain’s quarters, then returned to the deck and led her sisters and The Griffon’s lads to a victorious escape.
She took Sonata into the quarters after that, and they wouldn’t come out until they were sure of their safety, moored in one of the Siren Sister’s hidden coves.
It was a fight from top to bottom. Having Sonata save The Griffon with such a dearth of mana, and then getting her to keep the secret of the captain’s nature, was a trial, but sooner than one would expect, The Griffon returned to the deck with a priceless artifact where his leg once was and a cocksure grin on his face.
Still alive, and still a legend.





What no one saw in the aftermath of that fateful day in the bay of Havana was what happened to Cinch. Cinch had been a decorated admiral, with a title, an estate, and even a family, but would flee from all of that after his grand failure at the banquet. The name Calipers Cinch would become one of disgrace among the British naval forces. The term ‘Cinch’ became a slang term used by cocksure braggarts to claim that a difficult task would be entirely effortless, and many times after the utterance of that name, everything would go wrong. 
In the expanse of time, Calipers Cinch would be forgotten, dying in disgrace in some far-flung cabana atop a cliff somewhere on the coast of Portugal. 
No one can speak on the cause of death, but it is believed that Cinch flung himself from his cabana overlooking the sea, for a body was never found. 
Stranger still is the reports that the cabana contained the dressings, makeup, and accouterments of a high-class woman, including a worn-down corset and bindings.





When life changes due to fate, it's often abrupt and harsh, like a woodsman’s hatchet striking a trunk. Cruel realities beaten into a once sturdy pillar until the whole structure buckles. 
When life changes due to a person, it is often subtle and smooth, like the shifting drift of a cloud. Adagio had seen that drift, for in standing beside The Griffon, she was afforded countless tiny moments to breathe and admire.
The duel was called off for a time, and for that time, Adagio was the happiest she’d been since being banished from Equestria.
There was never a conversation about the revelation on the night of the banquet, no grand reveal to the crew, and no sumptuous morsel of blackmail to dangle like a worm on a hook.
It was easier than that, and far more mundane; a mask was washed away by the cold grasp of the sea, another by a moment of genuine solidarity, and suddenly Adagio and The Griffon knew each other.
As Adagio gradually built her coffers up for her journey to the New World, she would meet The Griffon again and again. 
There was always a fire between them. A desire to excel and outdo, but as months of distance gave way to years of chance meetings, the boisterous clashes became tactical meetings, then quiet talks, and finally, a blessed, unspoken intimacy.
For a while, that was enough.
One day, Adagio received an invitation to a party. There was no occasion given, just a date and a place, and a sense of urgency. She nearly tossed it away, until she saw the signature, and that was enough to plot a course.
The soft light of another full moon streamed in through the stern side window of the Harpies’ Labrys, which had dropped anchor in a small, surreptitious cove, far away from prying eyes. The silver glow of the night and the orange flicker of the candles in the captain’s quarters illuminated a scene of pure decadence.
The crew had spent days partying in a small Cuban town. There had been music and dance and wine and the greatest luxury of all; baths.
Tonight was cause for celebration, from a certain point of view, and so the captain’s quarters were host to grand decadence in the form of wine and soft sheets and quiet, personal conversation.
Adagio lay in those sheets, tracing little lines on Celaeno’s back.
Celaeno gazed fixedly at an envelope sitting on her nightstand. It had an official Spanish seal on it.
“And it’s full amnesty? No tricks? Not even a location to ‘pick up the papers’?” Adagio said.
“They know better than that. I sunk a lot of british ships in the war, but I don’t think this is grace. I think they’re just tired of trying to catch the devil in a net.” Celaeno said.
“Well, congratulations on your retirement.” Adagio said.
“You don’t sound all that surprised, love.”
Adagio’s eyes traveled along Celeano’s nude form. After years of vicious buccaneering, grey hairs marched across the captain’s feathery tresses, the boyish growl became a matronly rumble, and a roadmap of scars stretched across her back.
“It’s simply the way of the world. You either learn to bow out when the time comes, or someone gives you a shove off the stage.”
“Is that all you have to say about it? I believe you owe me one more duel, Captain The Griffon.”
“Of course. We’ll have it, little dolphin, but only if you would be so kind as to escort me to my last destination. A little town on the tip of Jamaica.”
“Fine. Now, what were you saying, before?” Adagio said.
“I used to be a page boy.” Celaeno said.
“Oh?”
“In my old town. When the post really started, they would just drop them off at the port, wrapped in cheesecloth, and since we didn’t have a postman-since there were no postmen, they’d pay a few coins to anyone who wanted to run the papers around town, but it was boy’s work, so I would put on a hat and shirt, and I’d talk like a town crier. I’d say ‘Welcome friends and neighbors! Come and get the word from the old shores!’ and no one ever even thought I could be a girl.”
“Adorable.”
“Adagio?”
“Hm?”
“What do you want to name it?”
“What?”
Celaeno rolled over to face Adagio, and her smile was a spark in dry kindling.
“Your new ship. The one I threw in for. What do you want to name it?”
“Ah. I’m thinking of something gauche that will get people talking when we slide into the New World.”
“Oh? Do tell.”
“How does this sound to you? The Stomped Saber.”
“That is horrible!” The Griffon laughed.
“So you love it, then?” Adagio smirked.
“Well, it's very fitting for you, I’d say, but I think it lacks a certain culture, don’t you think?”
“They can’t all be grand metaphors and mythology, now can they?”
“If you want to be remembered, they must.” The Griffon tutted.
“Oh, hush up about legends and immorality. Tell me more about your old town.”
“Don’t you find this boring, love?”
“Not when you tell it.”
Adagio shuffled a bit closer and let the warm scent at the crook of Celeano’s neck soothe her. Rough hands slid delicately down her back and lazily wandered her curves as Celeano continued.
“It was just a tiny settlement, but it was my whole world. I even had a friend, back then. Had a brutal crush on her.”
“Is that so? Why isn’t she in this bed right now?” Adagio said.
“In a man’s world, things always get needlessly complicated. By the time I was old enough to barely know what I was feeling, she was stuck in an arranged marriage with a governor’s son. When she spoke her objections to her parents, they threatened to disown her for not marrying into obvious wealth. We decided to take matters into our own hands; made up a plan to run away together, it was all very dramatic, but when I went down to the docks in the morning to meet her, she didn’t come. Must’ve caught a lick of sense while I wasn’t looking.”
Adagio's gaze floated up into Celaeno’s sad, wine-colored eyes and lingered there with the intensity of a crow admiring a marble.
It hardly made sense to pass up such a treasure, and yet, Adagio realized, she’d nearly done the same.
“Oh, don’t give me that look, love!” Celaeno smiled and squeezed Adagio’s rump. “Just look at me, it all worked out! I left that day, with nothing but a rowboat, a bicorn, and a bit of twine to hold my hair up, and now I’m the terror of British trading vessels, the swooping eagle that all the great and good fear as they sail through the night! I run with free men, and I don’t regret a single day.” The Griffon said.
“Is that true?” Adagio said.
Celaeno winced as if she’d been stabbed by a needle.
“I’m the Captain of the best bunch of lads on the main, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. But all they know is The Griffon, and The Griffon is just a mask. And…its time for that mask to come down. Its time to be Celaeno again.”
Adagio tasted the quivering fear in those words. It was like asking to undress in a public square.
“Is that what you told them? That you’re going to retire the name?”
“It’s the only name they know me by. I’m going to tell them that I’m old and sick.”
“Oh, hush. At the rate you’re going, you’ll outlive us all.”
“Is that a joke? You haven’t aged a day since we met.”
“I keep telling you, you have to raid a town and get some ointment for your skin. Melon and squash will do wonders for your humors, darling.” Adagio tutted.
“Maybe, love, maybe I will at that, but you know what I mean. The Griffon doesn’t need me anymore, and I’m tired of needing him. It feels as if, if I wear the captain’s mask any longer, I’ll forget the woman underneath.”
Adagio kissed Celaeno. The touching of their lips was like a head against a pillow at the end of a long day. 
“Which one do you want to be tonight?” Adagio said.
“How about a little of both?” Celaeno said. 
With a wink and a flourish, Celaeno dove beneath the covers. Adagio felt tender lips blaze a trail down her stomach, kissing the side of her hip, her mound of venus, and then brushing against her delicate folds.
Celaeno’s hands were just as dextrous, stroking Adagio’s thighs, sliding up and opening her lips.
By the time Celaeno’s tongue entered Adagio’s cavern, it was already blushing, hot and wet.
Adagio closed her eyes and found freedom in letting her voice drift out, singing a song of gasps and giggles and low, sweet moans as Celaeno dove into her.
“Ahh! Mmm..I see you haven’t lost a step in this race! As ravenous as ever!” 
“What can I say? I have a weakness for sweets!”
Adagio’s thighs were over Celaeno’s shoulders. Her hands were in the captain’s green tresses, savoring every delicate jolt of pleasure as Celaeno dug in deep and lapped at her greedily.
Then, suddenly, it stopped.
Adagio was suddenly flipped onto her side, Celaeno’s pillowy breasts squishing against her back.
“What are you doing?”
“In a way, this too is a duel, isn’t it, love?” Celaeno said in Adagio’s ear.
Adagio gasped. Deft fingers slid against her clitoris in teasing strokes, like waves caressing the shore.
“You…are…infuriating!”
“You love it.”
Celaeno’s fingers dove into Adagio’s depths.
“Mmm! You’re delusional!” Adagio moaned.
“And you’re playing coy. What is this bed for, if not honesty? What are you waiting for?” 
The sound of wet shlicking increased in pace. Adagio bit her bottom lip and tried to hold it all in, but Celaeno’s attention was relentless. Adagio’s breath hitched. Her hips bounced forward with needy honesty while she struggled to keep her voice down. She could imagine the smug look on Celeano’s face, just over her shoulder and it infuriated her as much as it turned her on.
“What if I decide I don’t want a duel, hm? What will you say to me then?” Celeano growled.
“I’ll call you a coward! A weak minded fool who gave up the game because you got a bit winded! A weakling!” Adagio hissed.
“Is that what you think?”
The pleasure stopped. Celaeno turned Adagio over, pinning her wrists to the bed, glaring down at her like a perched hawk over a rabbit.
“After all this time, is that what you think of me?”
“I am glad for you! I am glad that you finally get to rest, and I can move on to my next enterprise! I’ve spent years keeping score with you, and now the race is over.”
“You never once outdid me, Sea Witch.” Celaeno said.
“And you never once defeated me, Captain The Griffon. I could take you right now. Unarmed and in the nude.” Adagio said.
An old flame ignited. Celaeno grinned and let go of Adagio, then retreated from the bed, into the silver rays on the other side of the room. A cabinet slid open.
“Where are you going?”
“Let it never be said that I don’t come prepared.” Celaeno said.
Adagio heard the sound of something metallic cinching together.
When Celaeno returned to the candlelight, she was wearing a familiar curio on her waist. A long, curling toy made of dark wood that Adagio had stolen years prior. It was polished and clean, gleaming with menace as Celaeno took a knee onto the bed.
“What say we settle this once and for all? One more duel. We’ll take turns. Whoever tips over the edge faster is the winner.”
“You are absolutely ridiculous.”
“If you win, I’ll drop the conversation entirely. You won’t have to escort me, I’ll simply sail off to the horizon, and you’ll never need to cross swords with me again.” Celeano said, and tossed Adagio her own “weapon”. A smaller, ivory affair that was arrow-straight.
“Oh, please.” Adagio rolled her eyes but could taste the simple honesty behind Celaeno’s bravado. She truly was tired of this game, it seemed.
“But if I win, you’ll look me in the eye and tell me how you feel. And you’ll join me.”
“I am not playing this game with you.”
“And I’m the coward? Is this sword too unwieldy for you?”
“You’re a fool. You and I both know that I’m the superior, and that’s always been the case.”
“Then why do you hesitate? Is the great sea witch Adagio Dazzle too far removed from the concerns of us petty mortals that she’s now above our little wager?”
“No, I just didn’t think you’d want to be humbled in such a ludicrous way.”
“And who’s going to make me humble, love?” Celaeno’s fingertips brushed Adagio’s turned cheek.
“I will.” Adagio snarled.
Celaeno was tugged down into the sheets, onto her knees. She turned her head to see Adagio, already equipped, slathering the contents of a small ceramic pot onto her tool.
“What is that?”
“I told you. Ointment is the key. I hope you’re prepared. I won’t listen to any whining or winging, I hope you know.”
“I’ll have you begging for mercy when my turn comes up, love.”
“Cocky until the end.”
Adagio slapped Celeano’s perky ass cheek. She’d always been a little jealous of the sculpt and curve of this bottom. It was deliciously satisfying to bring it to heel. Her hands roamed along Celeano’s curves, teasing her folds as Adagio calculated a strategy.
“Sometime before sunrise, love!” Celeano said.
Adagio slid her tool in with a rough hitch of her hips.
“Oooh! You’re as merciless as ever!” Celeano groaned, but it turned into a lascivious chuckle.
“Quiet. I’ve had enough of your quibbling.” Adagio growled. She placed her hands on Celaeno’s shoulder and pushed until the tall, toned pirate captain was entirely prone on the bed.
Adagio’s hips rolled with a clumsy, virginal pace, but a quiet chuckle from Celaeno spurred her to put her back into it. Every few seconds, she felt herself slipping off, having to adjust her posture or position until she gradually found an odd space between bouncing and thrusting that drew a moan out of her opponent.
“Ah, so you can still feel down there, you old harpy!” Adagio growled.
“Oh, I’m plenty sensitive, love. You just fuck like a goat herder.”
“Then I’ll have to make you bleat like a sheep!”
Adagio grabbed a handful of Celeano’s hair and pulled. Her hips slapped against Celaeno’s ass as she pounded her down into the sheets. At last, Celaeno’s snark disappeared, replaced by a rattling moan.
“Ahhh…ahh, ahh! But you are a quick learner, aren’t you?” 
“You still think I’m a novice? How many times have we crossed blades? How many of your signature moves have I improved, hm?”
Adagio gave a slow, deliberate jab of the hips, making Celeano coo, then followed up with a series of viciously quick thrusts and rocked the bed.
Celaeno’s put her head down and moaned, but Adagio pulled her hair again so that she could savor every helpless squeak. 
“Me and you, you and me, let’s see who can last longer~!” Adagio sang. 
She kept up her rapid assault, drinking deep of Celaeno’s lust. How many times had they wrestled in this bed, trying to impress each other? Far too few, it seemed, as soon Adagio’s breath grew short, and her thighs started to quiver from the effort she put into every ram of her hips.
“Oh? Slowing down already?” Celaeno said.
“Hush. You’re close. I know it.” Adagio said.
"And how do you know that?"
“Because I know you!” Adagio dropped all of her weight into a hammering pound. She gritted her teeth and put her whole body into thrusting forward. The bed creaked, and Celeano’s taunts fell apart into unintelligible squeals as Adagio savaged her wet hole.
The heat was nearly unbearable, the mix of lust and affection delectable as it gathered on Adagio’s tongue. She could feel her teeth sharpening, her eyes turning green, but she refused to stop. She put her hands on the small of Celeano’s back and fucked her mercilessly. With a cruel stab of her hips, Adagio sent Celaeno’s face into the pillow, screaming and shaking. 
Adagio kept going, slamming her hips down, pounding Celaeno straight through her orgasm until she finally ran out of breath, collapsing onto the taller woman’s back.
Adagio wiped her drooling mouth with the bed sheets, and delicately withdrew her strap-on from Celeano’s winking pussy. 
“Eleven minutes. What do you have to say now?” Adagio panted.
Celeano gasped and tried to form a witty retort, but it was lost in the warmth of her afterglow.
“Oh please, its not as if you haven’t been stabbed before.” Adagio said.
Celeano’s eyes shot open, and she gave a belly laugh.
“Aye! Tis’ true, love, tis’ true! Seven minutes you said?”
“Eleven. You folded after eleven minutes, little page boy.”
“Well then, I’ve got a bit of catching up to do, don’t I?” 
“I’d like see you try to beat my time.” Adagio said, sliding off Celaeno.
“Oh, I know you would, but I’ll give you a moment to recuperate.” Celaeno said.
“What are you talking about?” Adagio said.
“Looks like someone keelhauled you for a bit, love.” Celaeno said.
Adagio looked down and saw beads of sweat rolling down her heaving chest.
“I am more than ready for the second round!” Adagio declared, laying on her back.
“I know, I know.” Celaeno tutted. She reached over the bedside and produced a bit of cloth, wiping Adagio’s face like a dirty child.
“Will you stop doting on me?” Adagio said, swatting Celaeno’s hands away.
“Someone has to.” Celaeno said.
“You’re stalling.” Adagio said.
“You’re right. I just want to savor this moment.”  Celaeno said.
She looked at Adagio as if she were a precious rose in a glass container, reaching out to touch her cheek, but stopping short.
“Well?” Adagio huffed.
“You can start counting, love.” Celaeno said.
A tender kiss was the starting gun. Celaeno’s hands strolled rather than raced along Adagio’s curves, stopping to rub her nipples with a methodical slowness. Celaeno’s tongue lapped at the sweat that had collected on Adagio’s collarbone, then came back up to tickle Adagio’s earlobe.
“You’re so tense…how is it, with all that we’ve taught each other, you never learned to relax?” Celaeno said. 
“I have a reputation to uphold!” Adagio said, squirming as Celaeno’s fingers teased her neck and shoulders with feather-light touches.
“Yes, yes, tis’ an affliction I know all about. A hard-working woman puts her back into every move and choice, only to feel the ache when she lays down for the night. But the difference between you and me, love, is that The Griffon dies when he enters this room.”
“What is your point, Celaeno?” Adagio’s breath came out as a restrained hiss. Her knees turned in, but Celaeno threw them open and settled in the space between them. The warm point of the strap brushed against her soaking lips.
“I know its hard to stop. How do you kill a creature that has your own face?”
Adagio looked away, but Celaeno was at her ear, her hands holding her shoulders, her hips between her thighs. 
“You’re losing time, Celaeno!” Adagio said.
Humans were repulsive, cruel things, Adagio knew. She had seen it every day since arriving in this world, yet here was a contradiction, angling itself to plunge into her depths, kissing at the nape of her neck, reveling in every shiver and squeak.
“No, Adagio. Every moment with you is a gift, and I’m tried of wasting them.”
Adagio gasped as the rod parted her lips, sliding in slowly, gently as Celaeno squeezed her. Loving her, inch by inch, until their hips met, and so did their lips, once more.
Celaeno’s movements were the opposite of the Griffon’s aggressive advance. Her hips rolled with a sensual pace, scraping the top of Adagio’s canal with each push. Adagio’s protests melted away like sugar in the rain, and soon her legs were closing around Celaeno’s waist, her hands were grasping at her back, and her body quaked through a series of tender peaks. 
This was hardly their first time, but never had Celaeno deigned to treat Adagio with such pure, tender care. Their lips refused to part, Adagio hanging on to Celaeno like a raft in the middle of the ocean, carried by waves of pleasure.
Adagio lost count, cradled into Celaeno’s warm, bubbling intention, when she came up for air, it was in a haze of bliss. Her only landmark was Celaeno’s soft gaze.
“Why are you going so slow? This isn't like you.” Adagio moaned.
"Maybe I've changed."
"People don't change!"
"Ah, but they do, love. People change, and so do legends."
Celaeno took Adagio's hands and rolled her hips forward faster now, gentle and teasing.
"If you don't stop teasing me, you're going to lose!"
“I don’t care.” Celaeno said.
Adagio whined as Celaeno’s toy was pulled free of her squeezing depths. 
“What?” Adagio said.
“I’m tired of fighting, Adagio. Too long have we spent dancing around each other, teetering on the edge of a whirlpool, too scared to fall in. I love you. I don’t want to defeat you. I want to sit with you and watch the sun fall.” Celaeno said.
“You’re not…this isn’t…!” Adagio stammered.
“What isn’t it?”
“Fair. You’re not playing fair. This is a vicious way to try and win our wager!” Adagio said.
“Hang the wager! Hang the rules, hang the ship, hang the reputation! Come with me, Adagio. Come with me and we can spend every night like this. We'll take your ship, and we'll go to that little town, and I'll hold you, and never let go.”
“I have a family to consider.”
“They can come too.”
“They would never throw in their lot with someone like you!”
“You did."
"If people see us together, our people will-"
"I don't care what others think. I know your heart, Adagio. I’ve tried time and time again to pierce it, haven’t I?”
“Don’t make me laugh.” Adagio said.
Celaeno took her hand.
"I can see that you're just as tired of this as I am. You can't be a villain forever, love. You care too much for that to be the case."
'What do you know?"
“I know you’re afraid. So am I! This adventure isn’t like anything I’ve attempted before. But, as long as I’ve got you, I know I’m up to the task. So please. Come with me, and I’ll never stop loving you until the day I die.”
Adagio covered her mouth. She felt as if she’d been dropped into a boiling cauldron. Her skin tingled with warmth as she tried to find an answer. Celaeno waited, holding her breath.
A frantic knock at the door startled the both of them.
“I am extremely busy!” Celaeno shouted, her voice finding The Griffon in an instant.
“It can’t wait, Captain! There’s ships off the starboard bow! A whole fleet!” Said a gruff voice.
“What!?”
Celaeno was on her feet in an instant, letting the sex toy drop to the floor as  she went to her wardrobe; stuffing, binding, and buckling on the accoutrements of the Griffon.
Adagio sat stunned, lost in the stumbling space between two crises.
“Don’t just sit there! We could be at arms any second!” The Griffon barked.
“But what about-” Adagio started.
“Belay that! We’ve got to set sail!” The Griffon said.
The Griffon was out on the deck, shouting orders to the crew by the time Adagio was out in semi-full dress. She could make out a few towering shapes on the horizon. The Griffon’s crew was already at work, pulling up the anchor, loading cannons, unfurling the sails.
“Sis! It’s the Spanish!” Sonata said, swinging down from the crow’s nest.
“What!? How did they find us? Why would they be after us now?” Adagio said.
“Who cares! What’re we going to do!?” Aria said.
Adagio’s mind raced. Her heart was still hammering from The Griffon’s proposal. She saw her sisters looking at her expectantly, ready to carry out any scheme that came to her mind. Before she could open her mouth, The Griffon spoke up.
“Love, we’ve got a decent headwind, but there’s so many of those ships, we’ll never outrun them all without a burst of speed. Could you pull that trick you did in Havana’s harbor?” The Griffon said.
“Would that I could, but this ship is too large and too heavy for that!” Adagio said.
The moon disappeared behind the clouds. A light mist wet the deck.
“Damn it all! Option two, then! You three, take the dinghy! If you can’t move the Labrys, you can move that, can’t you!?” The Griffon said.
“We don’t take orders from you!” Aria said.
“Can you do it our not!?” The Griffon said, grabbing Adagio’s shoulders.
“Yes! Yes, we can!” Adagio said.
“Then take the dinghy, get around that fleet and then raise some hell! You three are the best sappers on the main, so light some sails on fire, or better yet, the gunpowder! If you can cause enough of a distraction, that’ll be enough for the Labrys to get clear, savvy?” The Griffon said.
“¡Sí, señor! ¡Que los vientos soplen a tu espalda!” Sonata said.
“What’s that, lass?” The Griffon said.
“She said we’re on it! And a fart joke, I think?” Aria said.
“We’ll have to be fast, before they spot us.” Adagio said quietly.
“Then get to it, ladies!” The Griffon said. “Everyone else, hard to starboard! Soon as we can see their sails, I want barrels out on the water! What’ve we got down below?”
“Not much, sir!”
“Then load whatever fits!”
Adagio caught herself lost at the sight of The Griffon tossing around orders as rain pattered on the deck.
“Adagio, we have to go!” Aria said.
“Right! Load our effects!” Adagio said.
“And one more thing, love!” The Griffon said.
Adagio turned, expecting a flippant remark about her dress, and instead received a ravenous kiss. Just like that, she burned. She wanted nothing more than to stay in that flame, forever.
The Griffon pulled away and leaned over to Adagio’s ear.
“We can get back to our parley once its all over, little dolphin.” Celaeno whispered, and then she was off to the ship’s wheel.
Adagio turned and saw Sonata and Aria ready and waiting in the dinghy, Sonata filled with glee and Aria showing an equal amount of disdain.
Adagio took a deep breath in.
“Let’s go, girls.”
The dinghy dropped into the water,  and Adagio felt power pooling at the corners of her eyes. Never before had she tasted love from a human, yet here it was, sinking like a hot stone into her guts.
Aria rowed away from the Harpies’ Labrys, and soon Sonata dropped the meager sails and the Siren Sisters slipped away, far around the encroaching fleet. 
Adagio’s voice caught in her throat, and the first note cracked out of her lips., causing Sonata and Aria to cringe.
It was meant to be a rowing song, to bring life and joy to the wave beneath the boat, but she couldn’t quite cough it up. 
Adagio could hear The Griffon still, and the crew of the Harpies’ Labrys shouting their motto in return as the ship turned to face the Spanish.
Sonata and Aria looked at her, waiting for a cue. 
The icy hand of Home grabbed Adagio’s heart. She sang.
It was low and terrible like a prayer whispered at the gallows.
The jollyboat rose on a low wave and dashed in a wide drift around the fleet. In moments, it had circled around to the back of the Spanish forces, and without its colorful sails down, it was nearly invisible.
By then, the Harpies’ Labrys had advanced in the opposite direction, hoping to stay out of the reach of the fleet’s broadsides.
Trailing behind the fleet was the rear guard, a galleon with two rows of cannons, built to intercept. A fine prize indeed. 	Adagio could see Sonata climbing the rigging while Aria tore a bloody path through the deckhands. She could see sails torn and ropes burning. She could see Spanish cannons unleashed from the heart of the fleet.
And then Adagio counted the number of men aboard, counted the number of ships.
She looked at Sonata and Aria and nodded.
The sails dropped open, and the wind carried the dinghy away from the fleet. 
Adagio didn’t look back.
She heard a bell ringing from one of the ships, and she didn’t look back.
She heard a single warning shot, and still, she refused to look back. 
Countless cannons screamed out into the night. The sea ignited behind Adagio’s back, bathing the dinghy in orange light.
Adagio turned.
The Harpies’ Labrys was sinking.
The cannons beat a terrible rhythm through the rainy night, but through it all, Adagio sang because she knew if she stopped she would hear the screams. 
She would hear Celeano screaming her name.
So Adagio sang. It was a warbling lament that could never be reproduced, but as Sonata and Aria’s voices joined in, one could swear the sea herself was weeping.
The dinghy picked up again, and soon it slid out of sight and out of history.
The rest of the memory was hazy. Adagio could remember speaking something to the girls, but the words were lost. They didn’t matter. The dinghy sailed, the night ended, and soon Adagio, Sonata, and Aria were back at their main base on the northern coast of Cuba.
Just outside the base, sitting in the cove was a new ship; a brigantine that had been built from the fruit of countless cutthroat robberies. It was an elegant ship, built, sharp and strong, like a stalking shark. Build for speed and brutality. 
It fit Adagio perfectly.
Adagio entered the captain’s cabin, freshly furnished just for her, and she locked the door.
Resting on the bed built for two, was a rapier. It was of an extremely fine make, polished to a mirror shine. On the sheath, rendered in silver, was the image of a dolphin.
Just outside, Aria and Sonata heard Adagio shatter. It was a shuddering sob that even the blankets couldn’t hide.
Aria reached for the door handle, but Sonata stopped her.
“Don’t.” Sonata said. “Let’s leave her alone. We have time so just let this be her day.”
Eventually, that same brigantine would slide into the mouth of the Mississippi river, and after a long and winding journey, it would come to rest on the banks of New Horseleans before a port was even built.
In its wake came a mansion and money and a new start, but comment was made, more than once over the peculiar name on the ship's plaque.
The title had been carved into the bronze, seemingly by hand and in a hurry, but it would be polished to a mirror sheen and never allowed to rust, even when the ship found its final rest in a naval museum at the city’s center.
The ship was called The Page Boy, and the reason why has since been lost to time.





It was Monday, and Adagio’s suite overlooking Canterlot was unbearably silent.
The mighty siren was left to sit, cold and alone, sinking into Home.
That's what Adagio Day meant. It was a day to be cold and lonely and reflective.
Instead, Adagio was still hot and furious and needy. Her cheeks were streaked by tears.
Adagio placed the rapier with the dolphin design back on its rack. She couldn't believe she was repeating the same mistakes.
"It's different this time. The world is different. He is different."
A half-finished bottle of wine sat on the bedstand. Adagio threw it at the wall, then laid down in her bed, wishing that when she turned over, Buck would be there.
She could still fix this. She could still have him, and have them back. She wouldn't have to compromise, she could have it all. She could make it all right.
She just needed to figure out how.
> Chapter 31 - Say Something I'm Giving Up On You (A Great Big World ft. Christina Aguilera)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday started about as well as one could hope for.
Behind the counter at Sugar Cube Corner, Buck’s patented customer service smile was being sorely tested. This was a shame because that smile was about the only thing holding Buck together.
A vaguely familiar woman with pink skin and an expensive purple hairdo was fuming at him over the counter, her copper-colored eye twitching.
“I’m sorry ma’am but we really don’t have any gluten-free cupcakes left. We’re cleared out, and the next batch isn’t ready.” Buck said.
“When will it be ready!?” The lady fumed.
“About forty minutes, give or take.”
“My models need them now! You have to make more, right now!” The woman yelled. 
Buck’s smile creaked like an old wooden ship. Scootaloo saw his hands clench behind the counter, but his even temper held.
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience. In the future, I’d suggest you make this kind of order in advance. Again, real sorry.”
“Oh, you’re sorry!? You don’t know the meaning of the word! I am going to give this place such a scathing review, you’ll wish you’d never gone into the bakery business! You just lost yourself a customer!”
The woman stomped out of Sugar Cube Corner, slamming the door so hard it made Scootaloo jump. 
“Geez, Buck. Are you okay?” Scootaloo said.
Buck stared at the door, blinking slowly. Scootaloo nudged him, and he came back to life. 
“Huh? Yeah, I’m good. It’s just another needy uptowner that don’t know how to order catering. We’re gettin’ a million of ‘em this season.” Buck said.
“No, I mean, you’re obviously going through some stuff, and it's like they don’t even care! Why is everyone in this city such a jerk?” Scootaloo said.
“Maybe our soda’s spiked.” Buck laughed.
“Is that why Berry Punch keeps showing up to bug you?” Scootaloo said, elbowing Buck.
“Haha, that girl needs help. Anyway, I think that primadonna is the last of the big business for the day. Should be smooth sailing.”
Buck rolled his neck slowly and flexed his fingers, making a sound like crackling pop rocks.
“Seriously, Buck. That was like the fifth customer to yell at you today. If I had to do register like that, I think I’d go nuts. In like an hour!”
“Well, it’s like this. The customers don’t know I’ve got it rough. How could they? We come from totally different situations, and I’m sure they’ve got some shit on their plate as well. That girl? Probably has a stable of hungry, bitchy clients that she’s tryin’ to feed last minute, and that’s why she’s so aggro.”
“How do you know that?”
“I don’t. But people tend to get desperate when they’re hungry, or the people around them are, so I’m gonna assume she’s having a bad time.”
“But that doesn’t mean she gets to scream in your face!”
“That’s just customer service. We’re all of us carryin’ weight, Scoots, and people have different ways of reacting to it.”
“There’s no way that lady is as messed up as you are now.”
“Nice,” Buck said.
“No, no, I didn’t mean it like that! I mean it’s not fair that she gets to come in here and throw a tantrum, and we have to stand here and take it!”
“No it’s not, but…listen, the shitty things that people do, nine times out of ten is just a projection of things they’re actually mad about but can’t change. When you realize that, it’s hard to stay mad at people.”
“Well sure, but-”
“Besides, I’ve been hit with enough slurs in my time that they just don’t mean anything anymore. Here, watch; Hey man! How’re you doin’?” Buck said.
A barrel-chested man with tanned orange skin, dark hair, and a basketball under his arm turned from where he was sitting under a ceiling fan. Across from him sat another man with a stumpier build, dark brown skin and pale, cream-colored hair. He looked up and blinked at Buck like a pigeon on the sidewalk.
“Yeah, you! How’s your day? Gonna go shoot some hoops?” Buck said.
“Go fuck yourself, loser!” Said the dark-haired man.
“Yeah! What’s your name?” Said the other.
“It’s Buck.”
“We’re gonna call you FUCK from now on!”
“Haha, yeah! See you later, Fuck! AHAHAHAHAHAH!”
The two men high-fived and walked out of the restaurant.
“Yeah, see? Doesn’t do a thing to me.” Buck said, turning back to Scootaloo. She was slowly pulling a pocket knife out from under her shirt, but at Buck’s shaking head, she put it back.
“Okay, I guess…but Buck, what’s the plan?”
“Whaddya mean?”
“I mean, what are you going to do? About the mission?”
“Well…I guess I’ll do what I always do when shit gets this bad.”
“What’s that?”
“Whatever I have to.”
“I wish I could come with you guys. I feel so useless with this thing on my leg!” Scootaloo said, looking down at her cast.
“Just take it easy. You’ve been bustin’ your ass lately, so you deserve a break.” Buck patted Scootaloo on the head and smiled, but then his shoulder shook in a shudder.
It was that prickly feeling that comes when you know a storm is on the way. Buck had the odd sensation that this could be the last time he got to do that, that if he screwed up in the field, he’d never see Scootaloo’s blushing cheeks or hear her laugh again. For a moment, Buck stood there, lost in that dreading space between now and then.
“You okay?” Scootaloo said.
“I think it's time for my lunch. I’m gonna see if I can squeeze a nap in before I have to come back for round two of food service purgatory. You good up here?”
“Yeah, I’ve got it!”
“Okay, cool. I’ll be in the back.”
“Hey, um…since track season is over, I’m gonna have a bunch of free time coming up. Would it be okay if I hung out with you?”
“Well, sure. You can come over whenever you feel like.”
“Really?”
“Of course, Scoots! You’re always welcome at my place. If it wasn’t for tomorrow, I’d wanna hang tonight. With all this crap falling on my plate one after another, I could really use some love, you know?”
“Hey, Buck?” Scootaloo said. 
Buck stopped in the threshold to the combination dish pit and break room.
“Yeah Scoots?”
Scootaloo hugged Buck from the back and squeezed him tight, so hard that it cracked his back a little.
“...You’re my friend.”
“You’re my friend too, Scoots.” Buck sighed and closed his eyes, patting Scootaloo’s hands at his stomach.
“...Now you should maybe let go before Mrs. Cake comes over here and bites my damn head off.”
Scootaloo looked askance, then put her hands behind her back. 
Mrs. Cake continued rolling dough, but her sharp eye didn’t leave Buck as he went to the back, sat at the squeaky old table next to the lockers, and put his aching head down.
His hand slid up to grab at the tarnished changeling stone hanging from his neck, and despite all efforts to keep his mind clear, a red haze formed in the air, like the corona of a star, suggesting the shape of a pair of horns on his forehead.





Far away from Sugar Cube Corner, outside the bounds of Canterlot’s city limits, a ravenous malevolence stirred.
In a gloomy corridor, among walls lit only by a sickly green glow, the queen of hungry mouths strolled through the dark with purposeful poise.
She didn’t truly know the layout of her new fortress, but it didn’t matter. With nothing more than a thought, the tunnels opened up to grant her passage.
The ornate, moth-eaten carpeting of her hive made no sound as she strode along on awkward human feet. 
Everywhere she looked, the queen saw her drones scuttling to and fro on their hollowed limbs. Some walked upright as their human forms allowed, but some could not help but trot in the traditional quadrupedal way that had been hardwired into them through generations of evolutionary memory.
Their spindly bodies were ashen and stunted like melted candles, their horns barely even formed, and they moved sluggishly, leaving spotty trails of slime behind as they scuttled along. 
This hive was no empire in the making. These were not her children, but pale shadows of her once-glorious legacy; fetal abortions that this world had rejected.
The Queen felt the slightest tinge of sadness, somewhere far off in her shriveled heart. She could not afford to ache. 
Her true plan was already underway, beating slowly but constantly in a hidden chamber, waiting to turn this tragedy into a triumph.
Every sacrifice she made here was the foundation of the grand vision she had in mind for this world, and not even the suffering of her current brood would turn her from the task.
As the queen strolled along, she could hear the gentle hissing and clicks of her minions communicating, sending messages down the line to keep the hive informed. 
There were no secrets here; information for one was information for the hive, and thusly it all found its way to the Queen’s ear one way or another.
A crate was being pushed down the hall. It was open on top and nearly overflowing with pastel-colored crystals. It said “Everfree Quartz” on the side.
The heist in western Canterlot had gone well. A candidate for Them and a small stockpile of enchanted quartz for the hive. Excellent.
The Queen hissed a short order, and her minions scurried off to hide the box.
Another scout came to click in the queen’s ear before shuddering away from the frown on her face.
No luck on capturing that horrific body double of Starlight Glimmer. No matter. She was nothing more than a consolation prize.
There was only one component left to gain.
A hole in the wall retracted, leaving the Queen in a posh suite. 
The high ceilings, white columns, and opulent interior of this hive reminded her of the times she spent infiltrating Canterlot. It was almost like returning home. Or it would be if she wasn’t missing a key component.
The Queen sat before a tall mirror, and her keen, hunters’ eyes told her that she was on the verge of starvation. 
The holes in her extremities had grown to yawning proportions. Her mossy hair was thin and matted, coming away in clumps as she brushed it. Her eyes were sunken, her proud, dark carapace was ashen and sallow.
Worst of all, without her horn and crown, she felt entirely naked.
There were a few pictures attached to the edges of the mirror around her face, but she was far too hungry to waste her mana on idle practice. 
Instead, she picked a photograph off the glass and smiled as a child smiles at a birthday cake.
It was a picture of Buck. 
As Chrysalis stroked it with a finger, she started to sing a joyous, predatory song.
“Missing? Goodness no!
I have been right here all along.
Well, I stepped out for a moment,
But I’m back where I belong.
Yes I, the one you care for!
Really who else could I be?
Now just relax my darling
And give all your love to me~!”
Chrysalis rose from her stool, licking her lips, and waved her gnarled talon at the middle of the floor. 
A tunnel opened, and from its shadowy depths came a pink light, pulsing with a steady beat.





“Buck! Wake up!” Starlight barked.
Buck blinked awake as a light clicked on.
He was in the back seat of Sunburst’s ratty jeep, it was Tuesday morning, and it was still dark. 
The car passed a billboard that said “Canterlot City Limits”.
Starlight Glimmer was driving, Sunburst was in the passenger seat, and Adagio was sitting across from Buck, though she was curled up and her head was down.
The car light was on over Buck’s head, illuminating a notepad with a cross-section of a bizarre combination of beetle and a horse with more question marks on it than descriptions. Sunburst dropped it into Buck’s lap, atop the bundle of clothes he was using like a blanket.
“Are you alright, Buck?” Sunburst said.
“God damn. Who’s dumbass idea was it to come out at the crack of dawn?” Buck grumbled, rubbing his eyes.
“I wanted to leave earlier, but Sunburst insisted we let you sleep in.” Starlight said.
“Sleep in? The fuckin’ sun’s not even awake yet. This a bug hunt or a fishin’ trip?” Buck said.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Starlight muttered.
“Say what?” Buck said.
“The Everfree Mountain Range is three hours away. We don’t know how long this mission will take, but I don’t want to be out here at night.” Starlight said.
“That’s funny, I didn’t want to be here in the mornin’. I do my best to pretend that mornin’ doesn’t exist, unless I have work.” Buck said.
“Well, you’re working now, so pay attention.” Starlight said.
“You gonna comp me for the travel part?” Buck said.
“You’ll get paid once we bag the changeling queen.” Starlight said.
“Great. Tell me when we get to the evil lair.” Buck said, then promptly shut his eyes.
“Buck, can you at least try to take this seriously?” Starlight said.
“I’m listening.” Buck said. “Hit me with the bullet points, brother.”
“Okay! So changelings are one of the least understood species in Equestria. The trait they all have in common is their unique diet. They are the only animals known to equestrian scholars that can naturally consume mana and metabolize it.” Sunburst said.
“You mean besides the sirens, right?” Buck said.
“He said ‘naturally’, Buck. There’s nothing normal about what Adagio is.” Starlight said.
“Yeah, because freaky xenomorph bugs that can suck the fuck out of your brain sounds super normal.” Buck yawned. “What type do you think they are? Bug/Psychic?”
“Bug/Dark, definitely.” Sunburst said.
“I guess Adagio is Water/Psychic?” Buck said.
“Water/Dark. Maybe even Water/Fairy.” Sunburst said.
“Like a Primarina? I can see that. She’s definitely got Sing, and Hyper Voice. Probably has Bubblebeam, and uh…”
“Perish Song?” Sunburst said.
“Nasty Plot.” Buck said.
“Can we please focus?” Starlight said.
“Right, changelings feed on mana as their primary food source. Since their metabolism is so fast, they have a naturally voracious appetite, and without a stable source of energy, they begin to starve. Their bodies start cannabilizing their own biomass in order to survive. That’s what those holes are in their limbs.” Sunburst continued.
“Okay, that’s fucked. But didn’t you say they were sorta…melty?” Buck said.
“That’s not normal. I have a theory, though. Changelings have unstable forms by nature; it helps them transform, but they use mana to maintain those forms; especially the hard exoskeleton that keeps them together. With the mana in this world being so thin as to be non-existent, their bodies start to break down.”
“Fucking hell, that’s a nightmare. They come over here for a new start, only to find out that the world is not just hostile, but nature itself is starvin’ them out.” Buck said.
“Don’t give them your sympathy. They’ll use it against you.” Starlight said. “Changelings are predatory by nature, and their survival instinct drives them to swindle as much emotion as they can. The queen is the worst of them all.”
“And that’s who we’re here to get.” Buck yawned. “So what’s her deal?  What’s she look like?”
Sunburst looked at Starlight for a moment.
“You don’t know?” Sunburst said. “I’d think the time she attacked you would be a pretty memorable experience.”
A spinning nonsense doodle appeared over Buck’s head as he rubbed his temple.
“It’s…a blur. I remember her comin’ at me disguised as Adagio. I remember being scared out of my fuckin’ mind, and I remember Ditzy bein’ there, and I think I heard Starlight, too.”
“I guess that makes sense. It must’ve been traumatic.” Sunburst said. “If this is too much for you-”
“We can’t afford to have Buck sit this one out.” Starlight said.
“Because I’m the bait.” Buck said.
“Chrysalis-–that’s the queen—is tall and somewhat skeletal.” Starlight said.
“That’s a pretty name. Do they all have names?” Buck said.
“She has dark gray skin, and matted, greenish hair. When we fought her, she was swollen with your mana like a tick, but she burned through it very quickly, so she’s probably going to look emaciated, but don’t let the sickly facade fool you; she’s immensely dangerous.” Starlight said.
“Yeah, I saw some of that blurry-ass video. She was movin’ super fast and turnin’ into all sorts of shit. I got that much.” Buck said.
“The most dangerous thing about her is that she’s calculating and tricky.” Starlight said.
“Well yeah. Changeling.” Buck said.
“More than the rest, Buck. She as old as Adagio and twice as vicious.” Starlight said.
“Older.” Adagio yawned. “She’s older than me by a long way, and she’s deranged.”
“Right. You two are acquainted.” Sunburst said.
“Birds of a feather.” Starlight said.
“Don’t you dare compare me to that creature!” Adagio hissed.
“If the shoe fits…” Starlight said.
“Excuse me?” Adagio said.
“I said, if the shoe fits!” Starlight said, louder.
“Now, now, we’re a team today! Let’s not start bickering.” Sunburst said.
“Okay, okay but if the queen’s starving, and her people are starving, and not even fucking with Canterlot is enough to keep them fed, why don’t we just let ‘em alone? Won’t they starve themselves out in time?” Buck said.
“That’s…cruel.” Sunburst said.
“Isn’t it, just?” Adagio smiled. “But we can’t afford to wait. We can assume that the hive’s numbers are very few right now due to lack of resources, otherwise their attacks would be more frequent. The queen is desperate enough to work with humans who are stockpiling mana for something big. If Chrysalis has been working with them thus far and is confident that they’re going to give her what they owe, then that means…?”
“It means she probaby knows what their plan is.” Buck said.
“Very good.” Adagio said. 
“Which is why we’re going to capture her, and interrogate her instead of killing her.” Starlight said.
“That’s why?” Sunburst said, under his breath.
“Another query; the cloaks have not deigned to give Chrysalis enough mana to keep her children fed. Why do you think that is?” Adagio said.
“If I had to guess, I’d say it’s because they know if the changelings become too numerous, their entire operation could be overrun, and suddenly Chrysalis would have the keys to the castle. Whatever the cloak’s resources are, whatever their plans are, they would become property of the queen. Chances are, that has been Chrysalis’ goal all along.” Starlight said.
“...very good. But I was talking to Buck.” Adagio said.
“Whatever. So we’ve got to deal with her before the cloaks make their play, because as long as the changelings are operating, the cloaks have the numbers advantage. And because she’s too dangerous to leave alone.” Buck said.
“Correct,” Adagio said.
“So what’s the play?” Buck said.
“Before that, there’s one more thing you need to know about the queen. Changeling queens habitually absorb the total mana collected by their scouts, and then spread it evenly across the hive.” Adagio said.
“How do you know that?” Sunburst said, scribbling notes.
“I studied the process of metabolic mana conversion at G.G.A.A. I had to in order to control the amulets, and figure out what not to do when feeding. Taking in too much emotionally charged mana, or even taking in the mana of a disorganized crowd…it’s overstimulating, to say the least.”
“Like when you were on the bus that one time?” Buck said.
“Exactly.” Adagio blushed. “Imagine having to process the love, affection, arousal, terror and anguish of hundreds of people, every single day, otherwise your children will starve. Chrysalis has been doing it for countless generations.”
“So you’re saying she's a pretty good mom?”
“She's dangerously unstable, almost certainly. And desperate. Everyone has a limit, and their minds can only bend so much before they finally snap. It is imperative that you don’t take her lightly, Buck. If you give her even the slightest emotional opening, she’ll pounce.” Adagio said.
Buck turned and stared at Adagio for a long moment.
“Yeah. That sounds familiar.” Buck said.





Back in the hive, an orange light flickered with black flames behind a wide, wooden desk. On either side of the desk was a pair of grand staircases that sloped upward into the green gloom.
Ages ago, this space was used to greet visitors, but now the wall behind the desk was stripped of photographs to play host to an intricate spell circle filled with blasphemous runes.
The unholy light howled with the voice of hades before opening to reveal a cloaked figure standing in an ominous cabin room lit exclusively by a crackling fireplace.
“Hey there, Chrissi!” Said the figure.
“It’s Queen Chrysalis. Why do you insist on wasting mana to contact me via scrying?”
“You’re a special case! We don’t mind using a bucket of magic to get in contact with you, even if we can’t do it all of the time!”
“You could just call me on my phone.”
“Oh, you old so-and-so! You say the funniest things! Didn’t you steal that phone? It’s not yours!”
“It is a phone. That I have. Therefore, it is my phone.”
“Well, I like what you’ve done with the place! Very, uh…green.”
“What do you want?”
“Oh, just a normal check up! I just wanted to peek in and see how you’re doing, and have a little girl talk! How are you? How are the kids? What’s the buzz? Hehe! Get it?”
“We’re fine. Lively, even. There, does that suffice?”
“No, no! Tell me what’s been going on! Are you doing something with your hair?”
“No.”
“Well, our master wants to know if your bugs have found any viable candidates!”
“None that you would be interested in. Now, I have queenly duties to attend to, and I don’t have time for idle prattle.”
“Is that all you have to say?”
“Yes, naturally. If I find anyone in this disguting town that’s worth the effort of kidnapping I will let you know, now are we done?”
“No, I don’t think we are. Your little kids have been busy lately, haven’t they?”
“Going on wild goose chases for your sake, yes.”
“Oh, Chryssi. You know that’s not what I mean! You’ve been reckless, sending your little feelers out with no permission! Our master wants to know why.”
“If your organization would give me more than a piddling pittance of mana, I wouldn’t need to rove out. And you can tell that shriveled up bag of bones that if he wants to quiz me, he can do it himself.” 
The scrying circle blazed. The surface of the image stretched like cellophane, then rent asunder with a sizzling pop.
The figure stepped through the thin walls between distant spaces and emerged from behind the desk. The hood fell back, revealing a bright smile beneath a frigid blue glare.
“Say that again.” Minuette said, her toothy smile extending nearly to her ears. When she spoke, the top of her head shifted unsteadily, and her sunken eyes resembled the sockets of a skull.
“I understand, I didn’t mean to-” Chrysalis started.
“No, no you don’t,” Minuette interjected. “You don’t get to scuttle away from this one, Queenie! You seem to be going a little deaf in your old age, so let me remind you how this works.”
Minuette paced around Chrysalis, her every step feeling like the breath of a freezing tundra. The desk and banisters twinkled with gathering frost.
“We give you mana. You make your freaky little bloodhounds and send them sniffing around the city. You tell us who smells like magic, and then we go and get them. If they aren’t viable candidates, we send them to you as a little bonus. We do this until our plans for Canterlot are done, at which point, there will be more than enough magic to go around.”
“I-” Chrysalis began, but Minuette continued. 
“We achieve our goals, you get your mana. Everyone wins! But only if we work as a team! Now tell me, do you really think that what you did the other day counts as teamwork?”
“What is this? Why are you talking to me like we’re in a boardroom meeting?” Chrysalis said.
“Oh, well I know you spent some time as a businesswoman. I thought that tone would suit you! Here, let me try another one.” Minuette said.
Minuette pointed a finger, and a beam of crackling black energy struck one of the drones wandering up the stairs. 
It squealed like a stuck pig as its limbs froze over, shuddering and weeping as it reached for its mother, but it was too late. The dark ice hardened over the drone. It teetered down the stairs, rolling once, twice, and then shattering at the queen’s feet.
“You know what I can do to this place if I feel like it.” Minuette said.
“Yes.” Chrysalis said.
“You know what’s at stake if you fail us.”
“Yes.”
“So you’ll rein in your little horseflies because you know that if you cooperate, your people’s future is assured.”
“Yes.” 
“Great! Now, how about a smile?”
Chrysalis’s cheeks creaked like a rusty door hinge. Her lips turned up.
“No, no, bigger! Like you really mean it! This is for the boss!”
Chrysalis’ smile widened to show her vicious fangs.
“There! That’s perfect!”
Minuette pulled a phone from inside her cloak, and without the barest hint of irony, she threw an arm around Chrysalis’ neck and dragged her down cheek-to-cheek to take a selfie. The remains of the flash-frozen changeling drone were in the background, right past the queen’s pained smile.
“There! Now the boss will know you’re totally serious about cleaning up your act, right!?” Minuette said.
“...right.”
“Okay, well, it’s been a lovely talk!” Minuette strode toward the scrying circle, now a portal.
“Speak for yourself…” Chrysalis muttered. 
“Ooh! Actually, I changed my mind. Since you’ve been such a busy bee, I think I’ll have a look around and see if you’ve grabbed any decent candidates by mistake!” Minuette said, turning on a heel.
“You don’t have to do that. They’re all just fodder.” Chrysalis said.
“Oh, Chryssi, my fun bug! Funny, clever Chryssi!” Minuette giggled. 
“What?”
“I wasn’t asking.”





After that last exchange, Buck had sat quietly for what felt like fifty years, watching as morning light slowly filled the world around the jeep. The countryside to the west of Canterlot was surprisingly verdant and packed with towering elm trees, shifting in the summer breeze.
Despite the changeling stone around his neck, red fancies fluttered just outside the window where Buck was looking; a fuzzy image of two people jazz dancing energetically.
“What is that little bundle of clothing you have there?” Adagio said.
“It’s an old jean jacket and a scarf.” Buck said, joylessly.
“Well, I think the faded blue and the bright pink will make for an interesting compliment in your outfit.” Adagio tried.
“Yeah, sure.” Buck said.
“Why did you bring winter clothes? Sunburst said.
“I figured since we’re going to the Everfree Mountains, it might get nippy.” Buck said.
“That’s asinine.” Starlight said.
“What? Why?” Buck said.
“First of all, it’s summer. Second, we’re not going to the top of the mountains!” Starlight said.
“Well, why the fuck not!? If I was a freaky flying bug bitch, I’d definitely put my fortress of doom on top of a mountain!” Buck said.
“Changelings are vulnerable to the cold! They don’t live in snowy regions!” Starlight said.
“How was I supposed to know that?” Buck said.
“Because it’s obvious. They’re insectoid.” Starlight said.
“It’s easier to understand if you think of them like awful little cockroaches,” Adagio said. Changelings prefer warm regions, and thrive in inhabited environments where they can leech off the scraps of others, multiply under their noses and then take over.”
“Eww.” Buck said.
“They tend to prefer warmth; both in their habitat and their food. That’s probably why the queen was drawn to you in the first place.” Sunburst said. “They typically establish a throne in an area dense with living foliage and then pull mana from the very ground until it becomes an arid desert.”
“So what are they doing in the mountains, then? Ain’t that a bit counter-intuitive?” Buck said.
“Considering they’re using a network of tunnels beneath the mountain, I think it's a fair assumption that the hive is somewhere below ground. This world doesn’t have any ambient magic, so it makes sense to prioritize defense over potential mana gains when constructing a lair.” Adagio said.
“Is that why you live in a suite overlooking Canterlot? Because invading it on foot would be hard?” Buck said.
“Very good, Buck.” Adagio smiled.
Buck rolled his eyes.
“Let’s go over the plan.” Starlight said. “When we get to the foot of the mountain park area, Sunburst, Adagio and I will cast the spell we developed to seek out mana signatures at a long range.”
“What’s it called? Does it have a name?” Buck said.
“The spell? No, it doesn’t. It’s just a locator spell we made to track that sprinter girl.” Starlight said.
“Well, why not call it the Locatorinator, or something?” Buck said.
“I was thinking about Starlight and Sunbursts’ Magnificent Manafinder.” Sunburst said.
“Since my contribution is going to make the spell function over such a distance, I’d like the augmentation to be called Adagio’s Excellent Extension.” Adagio chimed in.
"That sounds like a siren-branded strap-on." Buck said.
"That's not a terrible idea, honestly." Adagio said.
“It doesn’t need a name!” Starlight barked.
“I mean there’s three people on the project. Kinda sounds like it needs a name.” Buck said.
The steering wheel creaked as Starlight clenched down on it. Sunburst touched her thigh and smiled.
“Whatever, Buck. The spell will give us a direct line to Chrysalis. We’ll then apply the enchantment to a tracking talisman.”
“So it can act as a freaky bug bitch compass! Got it.” Buck said.
“We can expect to be intercepted along the way. If we get separated, the priority is getting back to Buck.” Sunburst said.
“Buck, can you toss up a signal if that happens?”
“Yeah. If I get snatched and y’all’re nearby, I’ll just make a huge fart noise.” Buck yawned.
“If you get lost on your own, just stay put. We’ll come and get you.” Starlight said. “Since you have the biggest, loudest mana signature, you’re obviously the priority target.” Starlight said.
“Okay, Mom.” Buck said.
“The best case scenario is that we make it to the hive without being detected, capture the queen and take her in. Our components are running low, especially since Cauldron Bubbles was hit.” Sunburst said.
“Buck, we’ll be depending on you to give us mana boosts. A combined assault on Chrysalis by me and Adagio would probably be enough to take her down.” Starlight said.
“I can take Chrysalis myself. I’ve already done it once.” Adagio said.
“Yes, but you had rain and you drained Sunburst for it!” Starlight said.
“Your point?” Adagio said.
“So that’s not happening. You’ll take her head-on while I attack at range with mana bolts. We’ll whittle her down, and once she gets tired, we’ll knock her into a snare spell, and that will be that.” Starlight said.
“And what about the legion of slimy drones that’s sure to come for our heads?” Adagio said.
“I was getting to that. Sunburst, can you do crowd control, like you did at the park?” Starlight said.
“With Buck’s power? I could do a lot more than that.” Sunburst said.
“Oooh! Confident! I like it.” Starlight smiled at Sunburst.
“Look at that! You do have a heart.” Adagio laughed.
“Yeah, well, uh…moving on! Since we’re going spelunking, what do we have for a light?” Starlight said, blushing.
“I can do light, no problem. It’ll give me somethin’ to do besides bein’ bait!” Buck said.
The snowcapped Everfree Mountains rose in the west as the jeep bumped along the country road. As the party discussed their strategy, they didn’t notice a barricaded side road that was all but grown over, marked by a large and fancy sign that was more bush than billboard; one marked with the name ‘Snowdrop Inn’ in big, ornate letters. 
In the dense tree line, several pairs of green eyes narrowed, then swiftly took off into the underbrush next to the path.





A door clattered open, revealing a spacious kitchen that would have been very warm and welcoming if it weren’t for the rows of hanging cocoons lining the walls and ceiling. 
A small portion of Canterlot’s resident population groaned in despair against their slimy restraints, their unsleeping eyes filling with dread as two monsters strolled in.
“Well isn’t this a cute little pantry! Let’s see what’s on the menu.” Minuette said. 
Chrysalis trailed behind Minuette, her head filled with internal screams as the ghoul perused her selection of snacks.
“Kind of an empty fridge, don’t you think?” Minuette said.
“If finding magically potent humans was easy, you’d do it on your own.” Chrysalis said.
“Oh, Chryssi, you know that magic isn’t all that matters! It’s all about their attitude! Let me see…too sad, too sleepy, too normal…how about this one?” Minuette said.
Chrysalis waved a hand and a slimy cocoon opened, revealing a woman with purple skin and pink hair who blinked as if she was in a dream. She looked around, then her eyes widened. She was still in her apron from work.
“That’s the freshest one we have,” Chrysalis said.
“She looks…boring.” Minuette said.
“Excuse me!?” Said Cauldron Bubbles.
“It’s a bit old by human standards, but my scouts are certain she has potential.” Chrysalis said.
“What is this place? Why am I…OH GOD WHAT IS THIS!?” Cauldron Bubbles said.
“Shut her up.” Minuette said. 
Chrysalis waved a hand and a glob of green slime enveloped Cauldron Bubbles’ mouth, turning her panic attack into a muffled, wide-eyed whimper.
“Let’s see what she’s got!” Minuette said. A stream of black energy, tinged with light blue sparkles came howling out of Cauldron Bubbles’ chest and collected in the palm of Minuette’s hand. 
She lifted it and shook it like a melon in a produce aisle, then frowned.
“Well?” Chrysalis said.
“Vanity, Greed…Boredom. But only a teeny tiny amount of despair. Needs more time in the oven, don’t you think?” Minuette said.
“That one came from a location which my scouts claim was filled with emotional energy. That’s the entire reason we struck it in the first place.”
“Then your scouts are dumb. You must have grabbed the wrong person. You can’t seriously think that this weak, stale mana was worth breaking the rules, right?”
“My children are starving. If you aren’t going to give us the mana we need to survive, then-”
“Then you’ll just have to work with less bugs. Maybe make some minions that’re like, at least semi-competent? Did you seriously go against orders just for this? Or…did you find something else?”
Minuette turned slowly, just barely missing the look of panic that flashed across Chrysalis’ face. 
She couldn’t know about the plan. It simply wasn’t possible. 
“Actually, your bugs have been looking a whole lot like slugs lately. Why are they breaking down so fast? I could have sworn we just gave you your mana rations…” Minuette said. Her smile spread once more, and now Chrysalis could see the edges of Minuette’s lips part further than was humanly possible.
“You requested more scouts than I could reasonably make with the pittance of mana you gave me. Of course they’re somewhat defective!” Chrysalis said.
“But you still sent them out to collect without telling us. Are you hiding something, Chryssi? You wouldn’t do that, would you? After all, we’re friends, right?”
Chrysalis opened her mouth. Suddenly, Minuette had her by the throat,  her free index finger glowing with a dark blue light.
“Time to test out my new trick!” Minuette said, and she touched Chrysalis on the forehead.
Thoughts raced out of Chrysalis’ head like they were being sucked through a straw. She knew this spell well, it was a simple mind-reading spell she’d used many times before to peer into the brains of hapless patsies and learn their dirty little secrets.
Images streaked by Chrysalis’ eyes; stalking Adagio and Buck briefly on the boardwalk, stalking Adagio at the office, stalking Buck to his apartment. A lot of stalking, in retrospect. Chrysalis desperately tried to anchor her thoughts and stop them from being dragged out of her skull.
As long as she didn’t find out about the plan, nothing else mattered.
Suddenly the spell broke, and Minuette let go.
“So you had to case the siren for a while before you could take her identity. And you’re sort of obsessed with that Buck guy, too! Did you know he was part of the group that donked up our plans the other day?”
“He did?”
“See, I’ve met him, like once, and he seemed pretty dumpy. But he’s Adagio’s special pet, isn’t he? I heard that his mana is a little extra, but I didn’t know he was so potent until now! Why didn’t you tell us?”
“He doesn’t have any of the characteristics you told me to search for!”
“He’s overflowing with mana, and he looks like kind of a mess. That’s exactly what we want.”
“But his mana signature is-”
“Not what we want. But we can fix that.”
“No!” Chrysalis hissed.
“What did you just say?”
“Let me handle him! I spent just as much time watching him as I did watching Adagio Dazzle. I know his weaknesses; there is no one in your stable that could break him better than me. Surely, you must understand that!”
“Didn't you already get beat by them once?”
“Yes, but that was different! I was out in the wild, alone and without any support. If I could just get him here, I could twist him to your purposes with the greatest of ease.”
“Are you sure, Chryssi?”
“I would stake my life on it.”
“Deal! You’re gonna capture that Buck guy and fill him with so much hatred and despair, he’ll be the perfect fuel for our big day! But if you can’t? We’ll see how he feels after he comes back from a little trip to hell.”
The blood drained from the changeling queen’s face. 
“Trust me, Chryssi, dying has a way of…sorta…changing your perspective!” Minuette smiled.
A scout rushed into the pantry. Its back legs were forming a puddle on the floor as it skidded to a halt before the queen. It hissed a quick and dire message to Chrysalis before hobbling off to go die somewhere out of sight.
“What’d he say?” Minuette said.
“They said we have guests. Our mutual foes are approaching by car.”
“Ooh! Who is it?”
“That pathetic excuse for a sea monster, the manaless meddler, the…orange one? And Buck.”
“Oh. Oh! Would’ja lookit that, Chryssi! Just in the nick of time! Tell you what; since you’ve been such a good host, I’ll help you out!” Minuette said, heading for the door.
Chrysalis followed with a quick stride as Minuette marched past the welcome desk, up the grand curving stairs and to a glass door leading out onto a balcony.
“What are you going to do!?” Chrysalis said.
The balcony overlooked a sloping valley filled with towering trees and a singular road that was largely overgrown.
“You’re gonna need help dealing with all those guys, so I’ll make things super easy for you!” Minuette said. 
Minuette stepped out into the humid summer air and swayed to a tune that no one could hear. 
"Are...you about to sing?" Chrysalis said.
The ghoul’s jaw dropped, unleashing a ghastly howl that sounded like the lamentations of a thousand lost souls.
The trees on the mountain slope shivered and shook. The wind wailed, and the sky darkened. 
A snowflake drifted into the room and landed in Chrysalis’ hand, then there was a clamorous patter on the roof that ranged out across the vista.
Chrysalis shivered as she looked out on what Minuette had wrought; a sudden and violent snowstorm blanketed the valley in white, and just as quickly as it started, it came to a stop.
“...why?” Chrysalis said, shivering.
“This will make it hard for them to move around out there!” Minuette said.
“But why is it around my hive!?” Chrysalis said.
“A little incentive! You’ll go and get Buck like you promised, and after you fix him up, you’ll hand him over to us! If you don’t, well…we’ll just leave you here to freeze to death. Either way, you’ll do what we tell you. Okay?” Minuette said.
“...Understood.” Chrysalis said, through gritted teeth.
It was for her future, for her kingdom. She would do anything for her kingdom.
Chrysalis hissed in the language of the changelings, and all of the drones around her erupted into a flurry of motion.
“Great! Let’s go!” Minuette said.
"What?" Chrysalis said.
"I'm going to help you!"
"You can't be serious."
"We can take them, together! You know what they say; teamwork makes the dreamwork!"
"Did you just make that up?"
"Oh, sorry, that's kind of a human thing to say, isn't it? Here, let me try again."
"You really don't have to do that."
"You know what they say! Friendship is magic!"
The air behind Minuette rent open with a sound like meat being seared. Ghastly orange energy crackled into a portal, the hole in space showing a place far further down the mountain.
“And Chryssi?” Minuette said.
"What?" Chrysalis seethed.
“Don’t forget to smile!” Minuette said.
Chrysalis screamed for murder inside her own head, then with agonizing slowness, her lips turned up in the most uncomfortable smile to ever sour her face.





At the foot of the Everfree mountain range, Sunbursts’ jeep came to a stop as it cleared the trees. Several feet of freshly fallen snow coated everything in sight, with more drifting down from the dark clouds overhead.
Starlight, Sunburst, Adagio, and Buck stepped out of the vehicle, mouths agape at the transformation that had taken place, their breath steaming up in the frigid air.
“Hey, Starlight?” Buck said.
“What?” Starlight said, shivering.
“Eat a dick.” Buck said. A small swarm of middle fingers floated around his head.
As Starlight glared at Buck, then at her feet then at the absurdity of the situation, Sunburst came from the back of the jeep with a jacket that he draped around her shoulders.
“I guess it never hurts to be prepared!” Sunburst said, pulling on his teal, starry cloak. He also had on a postman’s bag, which was definitely populated by books.
“This is ridiculous! How could I possibly know there would be snow!? It doesn’t make any sense!” Starlight said gesturing around at her snowcapped surroundings.
“It’s magic. We ain’t gotta explain shit. Buck one, Starlight nothin’!” Buck said, putting on his jacket and bright pink scarf. 
“Magic is just metaphysics with a horn!” Starlight said.
“That’s an opinion that you are having!” Adagio said.
Buck turned his head. Adagio had just put on a familiar hoodie. One with a pink interior.
“That’s…that’s my hoodie.” Buck said.
“Hm? Yes it is. I took it when I went grocery shopping with your precious Ditzy Doo.” Adagio said.
“You kept it?”
“It’s comfortable. Of course I kept it, Buck.”
“Did you also think it’d be cold, or what?”
“You can have it back if you want it.”
Adagio started to slide the hoodie off, giving Buck a peek at her midriff.
“No, no, no, you’re good! You can keep it! It suits you!” Buck said, turning away.
“Fair enough.” Adagio said. With a smirk, she leaned into the jeep and came back with a rapier, which she promptly belted to her side. It had an insignia of a dolphin emblazoned on the side of the scabbard.
“This has to be some kind of trick to slow us down. Adagio, do you taste any changelings nearby?” Starlight said.
“This snow is watering down the flavor of everything nearby. So no, I don’t taste anything besides you seething.” Adagio said.
“So we’re going in blind. I wonder how they did it? The amount of mana it would cost is…” Sunburst trailed off, writing down notes.
“Guess we oughta get goin’ then. Before they find us.” Buck said.
“Too true. Let’s get started on that tracking spell.” Adagio said.
“But how are we supposed to put down a spell circle in all of this mush?” Starlight said.
“Do you have the diagram?” Adagio said.
“...yes.” Starlight said.
“Give it here.” Adagio said, holding out a hand.
Starlight hesitated for a moment, glaring at Adagio.
“Really? Would you rather throw your hands up and go home?”
Starlight sighed and handed over a piece of paper covered in diagrams and calculations. Adagio’s eyes dashed across the page quickly.
“Buck? Could I have your hand for a moment?”
“Fine.” Buck said.
“Without that horrible thing around your neck, please.” Adagio said.
Buck took a moment to steady himself, then he gingerly removed the changeling stone necklace and handed it to Sunburst.
Adagio took Buck’s hand and winced at the bad taste in her mouth. He was past upset. He was deeply wounded; bitter and cold. Something had happened.
Instead of making mention, Adagio held out a hand and hummed a soft tune to the ice at her feet.
The snow shifted slowly, gradually forming a spell circle that matched the diagram one for one.
“There, now. It won’t last long with this falling snow, so let’s get started. Like we discussed.” Adagio said, moving to the edge of the circle, pulling Buck along.
“Can I have that back? It’s leaky, but it’s keeping my mana in.” Buck said.
“Actually, I think you should keep it off. You’re supposed to be bait, for one, and we’re about to perform a spell, anyway. We need your mana to be unobstructed.” Starlight said.
“I guess that makes sense. But if Sunburst has it, how’s he gonna do the spell?” Buck said.
“Oh, it’s actually pretty interesting! It turns out that changeling stone has a sort of attunement property! It has to be directly attached to a person, place, or thing in order to nullify magic. So as long as I have it here in my bag, the only thing it’s protecting is the bag!”
“That’s…okay, wow. Magic.” Buck said.
“Changeling stone is technically an artifact, and their specific method of enchantment is actually very interesting. If you want, we could-”
“Alright, alright, let’s not get sidetracked again!” Starlight said.
Starlight plucked a tracking talisman from her pocket and placed it inside the circle.
Starlight, Sunburst, and Adagio stood around the small spell circle, leaving a spot open for Buck.
“Buck? If you would?” Adagio said.
Buck closed his eyes and let out a deep breath, and suddenly his hands grew warm. A spark of pink zigzagged down his arms to Adagio on his right and Sunburst on his left, through to Starlight at the far end.
“Excellent form!” Sunburst said.
“Thanks, brother.” Buck said.
“This is a surprisingly small amount. Can't you give us some more?” Starlight said.
“There’s fucking four of you, and I’m tired. Give me a break.” Buck said. The mana wavered a bit.
“A break? We just got here!” Starlight said.
"Buck, don't worry about it, just go with the flow." Sunburst said.
“Enough chitchat. Sunburst, the arrow and tether.” Adagio said.
The spell circle ignited with pink light. A ball of mana formed, floating over the center, flickering like a flame. Sunburst muttered under his breath, and the pink flame slowly sculpted itself into the shape of an arrow with a trailing thread of force at the end.
“Now, the signature…” Starlight said.
Adagio hummed. The mana shifted to a sickly green color, dripping like the fangs of a venomous snake. It turned slowly to point north.
“I’ve got it.” Adagio said.
The spell crackled and guttered unsteadily.
“Hold it together!” Starlight barked.
“I’m doing my best!” Buck said.
“If you don’t put some more heat behind it, it won’t reach the target!” Starlight said.
“Shut up and launch it already!” Adagio said.
Starlight grunted and pointed in the arrow’s direction. With a sound like a silenced pistol, it snapped out in a straight line, through the trees, through the mountains, out of sight. 
Starlight picked up the sensing stone in the center of the circle, now sending off a beam in a northward direction, down a path through the trees.
Buck quickly pulled his hand away from Adagio.
"Alright. Let's get going. I'll take point. Buck, you're right behind me." Starlight said.
"Why? Because you’re the slowest walker?" Buck said.
Starlight turned to glare at Buck and found only an oblivious expression.
"With your power, I can blast anything that attacks from the front. Adagio, you take up the rear." Starlight said.
"Naturally, since I can eviscerate anyone that tries to flank us, and I'm easily the best fighter here." Adagio said.
"Second best." Starlight said. She began moving briskly down the path despite her limp.
"Adorable." Adagio said, pulling her hood up over her hair.
Buck and Sunburst shared a bewildered glance.
"...how the fuck did you do that?" Buck said.
"Do what?" Adagio said.
"The hair, and the hoodie and…physics?" Sunburst said. 
"How are you fitting all of that in there? Buck said.
"What can I say? I'm good at fitting large things in tight spaces. Isn’t that right, Buck?" Adagio said.
Adagio gave Buck a smirk, but he just frowned and followed after Starlight Glimmer.
"Do you want me to say something to her?" Starlight said, quietly.
"So you can start a fuckin' fight? Naw. She doesn't mean nothin' by it. She just has a hard time turning it off."
"Or she's trying to get under your skin again."
"Who cares? I'm about business today, and as long as she is, too, there's no problem."
"So you're finally taking this seriously?"
"No promises." Buck smiled. 
“Can you try to not be a disaster today? That’s all I’m asking.” Starlight groaned.
“Me? You’re wearin’ that jacket, and I’m the disaster?”
“This jacket? It came out of Sunbursts’ trunk. What’s wrong with it?”
Buck looked at Starlight, then at her back.
The jacket was a relic from their college days, a slightly tarnished leather affair with custom embroidery on the back.
It said “Your waifu is trash” in bold white letters.
“...nothin’. Nothin’ at all.” Buck said.
The party was in no way prepared to trudge through several feet of snow, and so walking along the path toward their target was slow going and obnoxious.
 	Buck complained about wet socks exactly once before resigning himself to the dark fate of cold, wet toes, and every once in a while he snuck a glance back at Adagio, who was keeping a respectable distance. Whenever Buck looked her way, she turned her head to an interesting shrub or a bird in a tree.
A few yards ahead, Sunburst noticed Adagio lagging behind. Her arms were crossed and she looked like she was lost in the metaphorical woods.
 	After thinking about it for a moment, Sunburst slowed down to walk with her.
“So. Here we are again.” Sunburst said.
“You don’t have to slow down for me.” Adagio said.
“It’s fine, I’m not really the hiking type, anyway.” Sunburst said. “So why are you all the way back here?”
"He hates me."
“No he doesn’t.”
“He hates me, and he’s being dramatic.”
"Adagio, don't do this today. Buck is having a very hard time."
"He’s always having a hard time, for one reason or another."
"Do you want to keep being one of those reasons?"
Adagio turned to glare at Sunburst, and found a look with just as much venom in his eyes. 
"Don’t test me, Sunburst."
"Leave him alone. He's trying to focus on the mission."
"Well, you're awfully friendly today."
Sunburst said nothing in response.
"Look, I'm sorry I hurt the love of your life again, but I did not come out here to be judged." 
"Do you want some advice?"
Adagio tasted fresh sadness, clear and cold like snowmelt. It shocked her.
"...please,"Adagio said.
"Stop playing with him. If you want to keep acting as colleagues, which is about the best you can hope for, you need to create an environment in which you both feel safe and respected."
"I did that!"
"And then you made a move on him regardless. So why should he trust you?"
"So he told you what happened. Is that why you’re so angry?"
“I was on your side, Adagio.”
“We’re on the same side.”
"I really thought you two were a good fit. Now I get exhausted just looking at you. You're so frustrated with each other that it's hard to tell if you were lovers before or enemies.”
"I don't think I'd mind being his enemy for a little while. At least then he'd talk to me." Adagio said, blushing.
"Has anyone told you that you're kind of the worst?" Sunburst snorted.
"That title is highly contested among my sisters. I don't have the right to claim it." Adagio smiled.
"No, but seriously, leave him alone. He's hurting, and you’re bad for his stress."
“I will do as I please, little boy.”
“Adagio, it’s me. Sunburst. Everyone’s friend?”
"What?"
“Even though I’m upset with you, you don’t have to do the Adagio thing with me. We can just talk.”
“I don’t have a thing! Why does everyone think I have a ‘thing’?”
“I guess that’s just the price of being known.” Sunburst shrugged.
“You don’t know me, Sunburst.”
“Yeah. I guess I don’t.” Sunburst sighed.
Sunbursts’ disappointment was like a thousand pitch-black coffees. It rankled Adagio so much that she failed to notice the subtle shuffling in the trees overhead.
Adagio frowned, then reached into the pouch in the front of her hoodie.
"We're about to do something very dangerous. Take this.” Adagio said, holding out a black leatherbound book
"Is that what I think it is?"
“Stygian’s Book of spells. Take it.”
“Are you sure you want to give me this?”
"Buck trusts you with his power. I can trust you with this."
"You know this doesn’t change anything, right?" Sunburst said.
“I know. I know! I’m the villain in Buck’s life and I’ve ruined everything and he despises me now and you’re protecting him from me, and everything is terrible. I get it.”
“Playing the victim isn’t going to change anything, either,” Sunburst said.
“If you promise to use it responsibly, you can take the book. For today.” Adagio said.
Sunburst took the book with trepidation and flipped through it, his frown gradually turning up.
“Now when you say ‘responsibly’...” Sunburst said.
"I knew I liked you." Adagio smiled.
"You guys keepin' up?" Buck said, over his shoulder. He was several paces ahead.
"We're coming! We're just taking in this clear air!" Sunburst said.
"Oh yeah, there's a silver lining, huh? Canterlot always smells like piss and income disparity, but out here…I mean, just look around!"
Adagio sucked in the brisk mountain air.
"Ancient trees, running streams and even fresh snowfall. Clean, unobstructed nature. It's majestic." Adagio said.
"You can say that again." Buck said. "Kinda wish we were out here for fun."
Adagio and Buck smiled at each other, and for a second, everything in the world seemed fine, but then Buck’s warm expression fell away, and he turned to catch up with Starlight.
Sunburst followed behind, smiling and shaking his head.
“What are you smiling about?” Adagio said.
“This all would be so much easier if you two were friends. He really liked being your friend.” Sunburst sighed, tasting mournful as if he was attending a funeral for Buck and Adagio’s bond.
The days of getting violently inebriated and watching cartoons at Buck’s apartment seemed like a distant memory. It was painfully amazing how complicated things had gotten.
“How would it be easier, exactly?” Adagio said.
“I’ve read plenty of friendship lessons, but none of them were like this.” Sunburst said.
“You…friendship….what?” Adagio said.
“Don’t worry about it. Let’s just do our best today, okay?” Sunburst said, patting Adagio on the shoulder.
“We’re friends…?” Adagio said.
“Move it, people!” Starlight barked, from much further down the path.
After another twenty minutes of walking, Starlight approached a cave carved into the side of the mountain, large enough for a small group to enter, shoulder to shoulder. The sound of rushing water echoed faintly from inside, and there were no visible light sources.
“Well, that’s ominous.” Starlight said. Her sensing stone’s beam led directly into the darkness.
“Is it?” Buck said, standing in front of a sign placed just inside the mouth of the cave. “Seems pretty touristy to me. Check it out; says that the caves are mostly made of dolomites, limestones and shales. Neat. Oughta bring Maud here, she loves this shit.”
“Ooh! There’s trivia?” Sunburst gasped from far behind on the trail. He paused and doubled over, hands on his knees as he caught his breath.
“Can we please focus for just a second? This isn’t a day trip, and we’re not here to sightsee!” Starlight said, standing between Buck and the depths of the cavern.
“Isn’t it, though? I mean, this is probably the closest thing I’m going to get to a vacation this year!” Buck said.
“Well, that’s depressing.” Adagio said, bringing up the rear. She caught up to Sunburst at a casual pace, then stopped mid-stride and drew her rapier.
“What, what is it?” Sunburst said.
The canopy on either side of the path chirped like a chorus of crickets.
“Company.” Adagio said.
Sunburst suddenly jerked backward with a yelp, a glob of green slime smacking into the ground where he had been standing.
Adagio pulled him by the collar into the trees as phlegm rained onto the walking path with a smattering of wet plopping sounds.
Sunburst heard shouts from the mouth of the cave, but it was drowned out by the buzzing of wings.
“Move!” Adagio shouted, and Sunburst rushed through the trees, flipping frantically through Stygian’s spellbook.
Adagio heard a queer shifting noise somewhere nearby. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder. 
"Babe?" 
Adagio turned and saw Buck looking at her with concern.
"Buck, what are you doing?"
"Babe, it's okay."
"What?"
"Babe, it's okay." Buck repeated. He touched Adagio's cheek and smiled.
Buck coughed and looked down to see Adagio's blade had pierced him. His face melted off to reveal a hideous visage as Adagio booted him off her sword.
Adagio looked around and saw Buck again. And again, and again, and each Buck she saw had his arms out as if to embrace her. Each of them bore a perfect recreation of Buck's tender smile.
"You horrible little vermin!" Adagio screamed, tears pooling in her eyes as she brought her blade to bear.
Buck screamed in pain as Adagio's rapier sliced through him over and over.
More drones were coming, climbing down the trees, too many to count. Adagio couldn't possibly fight them all, and she wasn't sure how many times she could kill Buck before she vomited in her mouth.
Adagio ran.
She sang to the snow piled up in the canopy above, and it slowly sharpened into spikes.
Flashes of light came from past the treeline at the mouth of the cave, where a blast of blazing pink light smacked a copy of Sunburst into the cave wall.
"So much for 'very few numbers', huh!?" Buck said.
Starlight took a staggering turn, supporting her arm as another blast of pink mana exploded out of her palm, sending a copy of Scootaloo flying through the air.
“These are supposed to be beams! What is wrong with your mana!?” Starlight said.
The changelings that were blasted away rose to their feet and came charging right back, seemingly no worse for wear. 	
“I dunno, I dunno! I’m sorry! Fuck!” Buck said.
Buck was suddenly tackled to the ground by Ditzy Doo, who tried to grab at his throat.
"My Buck! My Buck!" The Ditzy Doo smiled.
"Ooh this is fucked! This is so fucked up!" Buck wailed in terror, a pathetic whine that carried back to the trees, where Sunburst and Adagio were being chased by a mob of Starlights and Scootaloos, Mr. and Mrs. Cakes, Ditzys and Dinkys and Bucks.
Icicles fell from the branches above, spearing through a line of the changelings behind them and yet many more lay ahead, between the treeline and the cave. 
Beyond the phalanx of friends and family, Adagio caught a glimpse of Buck and Starlight fighting in the mouth of the cave, but over their heads on the mountainside was another squad of drones rolling boulders down the slope.
“Oh no, you disgusting little roaches!” Adagio screamed.
“Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!” Buck said, on his back. He kicked the scrambling, hissing Ditzy Doo with oozing jet-black skin off him, and got to his feet only to see a small army of friends approaching from outside the cave. 
Starlight was blasting into the crowd, but every changeling she sent flying was quickly replaced by another. She pulled a piece of quartz from her pocket and a sparkling blue beam sliced through a row of marauders before the stone crumbled into dust.
“Buck! I need more mana, now!” Starlight said, pulling out another stone.
“We need to get the fuck out of here right now!” Buck said.
“Just do it! We don’t have time to argue!” Starlight said.
Buck raised a hand, trying to focus energy on a single point. There was a pink spark, a little fizzle sound, and nothing else.
“Buck, this is no time for joking! Just give me the mana!” Starlight said.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck! Come on! Come on!” Buck shouted, slapping Starlight on the back. Nothing happened.
Buck saw Adagio beyond the swarm, sword drawn, sprinting in his direction. The snow at her feet parted to form a path for her as if the world itself was trying to get out of her way. 
Behind her, Sunburst was mumbling in a gasping breath as the book in his hand started to glow.
“Get away from there!” Adagio shouted, slashing into the back of the pack with her rapier.
Buck heard a rumbling overhead.
“What are you doing!?” Starlight said.
“We gotta move!”
“What!?”
“We gotta move, now!” Buck grabbed Starlight by the wrist.
“No, we’ve got to punch through!” Starlight said.
“GET BACK!” Adagio screamed.
Rocks fell over the mouth of the cave, smashing everything beneath with an earth-shaking crash.
“BUCK!” 
> Chapter 32 - Comfortably Numb (Pink Floyd)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

At the southeastern foot of the Everfree Mountain Range, a rumbling crash shook the ground, causing a flock of birds to flee from the trees.
In the deafening silence that followed, Adagio Dazzle stood stock still in the freshly fallen snow. 
Everywhere she looked, she saw him. 
Buck was coming at Adagio as a small vanguard, smiling with calculated accuracy, arms wide to embrace her, promises of forgiveness and comfort echoing between the clones. 
Sunburst was behind Adagio, eyes closed as a ball of flickering pink energy gathered in his outstretched hand.
Adagio could taste it in the air. It was a flavor so familiar by now; something like a bathtub filled with boiling hot chocolate.
Buck’s energy.
She couldn’t taste its source under the rocks that had fallen. One moment it was there, and the next it was gone.
Adagio expected to be furious, but that wasn’t quite the right feeling.
It’s not as if this was the first time it had happened; that someone she valued had met an unfortunate fate after getting involved with her. Normally, Adagio would take a day to mope about it and then move on.
This was different. 
Adagio didn’t feel fury or heartache. 
All at once, her chest ached with a sudden pressure, and her face was devoid of any emotion.
The frigid grip of Home closed around Adagio’s throat and lifted her slowly to her feet.
She tried to sing, but all that came out was a hitch of the breath that was somewhere between a gasp and a sob.
The changelings wielding Buck’s face charged at her, dropping their comely facades to try and dogpile Adagio, but every marauder that came for her head fell bleeding into the snow as she moved at a funeral march.
Her attention was focused on a singular point; a dark purple arm sticking out from beneath the fallen boulders.
It was only a matter of time, Adagio thought, but now was the least convenient time possible. She still had so much to do with him. Adagio stopped in front of the sealed cave and fell to her knees.
The hairy, burly arm was unmistakable, the hand turned up as if offering a greeting at a royal ball. Had Buck ever kissed Adagio’s hand? She couldn’t quite remember.
Sunburst was shouting something, but Adagio was only distantly aware that the rest of the world existed as she searched elbow deep in her memory.
He had. 
On their first night, minutes after meeting, Buck had taken Adagio’s hand and kissed it. He had taken his time, Adagio remembered. He had squeezed her fingers just the slightest bit. 
His smile. 
That was the first time she’d tasted him; his mana had blown against her like a warm summer breeze, and he had driven her crazy since that moment. 
Driven to drink, driven to embarrassment, driven to vulnerability, driven to distraction. She could not believe how much he had distracted her.
It wasn’t hopeless. Whatever the source of power truly was at Camp Everfree, surely it would be enough. It had to be now. This wouldn’t set her back for long, she would make do like she always did.
She touched his hand. It was cold.
Here lay everything Adagio had worked towards for half a year.
This project was the path to her power, her future, and her sisters, and yet the hot tears she felt was not for the plan.
“It’s Buck. You’ve lost Buck, you fool.” Adagio said.
Pink light flashed behind Adagio. She rose to her feet and turned, hoping to see the man that energy truly belonged to, but instead, she saw Sunburst, his brow furrowed with effort as he held aloft the small changeling platoon in a prison of force.
“Star Swirl’s Amniomorphic Alteration!” Sunburst shouted.
A sound like a raging forest fire swept through the quiet mountainside.
Adagio watched as the attacking insects writhed and twisted in the pink flame, transforming into a herd of shaggy sheep.
Buck would have laughed.
Sunburst fell to one knee, and the aura flickered out of existence, dropping the fluffy farm animals into the snow.
Adagio turned back to Buck’s hand jutting out of the rocks. 
“Buck? Say something, please. Tell a stupid joke, or call me a rude bitch. Please, just say something, Buck. Anything.” Adagio whimpered.
Buck’s hand shriveled into a dark, gnarled shape, pocked with holes. Adagio shrunk away in disgust, then felt a hand on her shoulder. Sunburst was smiling, hooking a thumb at the rubble.
It was quiet. Adagio strained to hear.
It was faint and clearly muffled, but it was unmistakable.
*Brap*
Adagio heard a fart noise coming from just past the rocks.
“Buck! Can you hear me!?” Adagio shouted at the boulders.
*Brap*
Another fart noise.
“Starlight? Are you two okay?” Sunburst said.
Adagio looked over and saw Sunburst talking into his phone. His concerned expression shifted to a smile.
“Yes, that’s not ideal, but it’s a good thing you aren’t hurt! Can you put Buck on for a second?”
“Buck?” Adagio said.
“Hey, brother.” Sunburst said. He smiled at Adagio, who got to her feet quickly and looked at him pleadingly.
“Let me talk to him.” Adagio said.
“No, we’re okay over here, thanks to that bit of mana you gave me, I was able to make up a quick fix. Yes, a quick fix to murderous bug monsters. I know, it sounds like a trash quest for a level one party, doesn’t it? Could’ve been rats. I know, right?”
“Sunburst!” Adagio whined.
Sunburst smiled at her and made a gesture of taking a deep breath.
Adagio blushed, wiped her face with the arm of her hoodie, and sniffled her way into a semi–composed expression.
Sunburst gave her a thumbs up.
“Hey, Buck? Adagio wants to talk with you. Is that okay? Okay, I'm putting you on speaker.” Sunburst said, before handing Adagio the smartphone.
Adagio squared her shoulders and lifted her chin, summoning all the poise she could muster.
“Buck? Buck, Buck, Buck, are you okay, Buck!?” Adagio stammered.
“Oh wow, when you say my name that many times in a row, you sound like a chicken,” Buck said. 
“Hahahah! You are such an idiot~!” Adagio chirruped, before covering her mouth.
“No, but I’m okay, at least physically. Me and GlimGlam got outta the way. Mentally, I’m still sorta grappling with having to fight everyone I know in Canterlot, some of them very naked for some reason. I guess that’s just changelings. Good luck sleepin’ tonight, right?” Buck said.
"Are you unharmed, or not?" Adagio said.
"I'm pretty sure I'm good. Especially since the gummy I took on the way over just hit." Buck said.
"The what just what!?" Starlight said.
“No changelings over here, either, though I’mma go ahead and guess it won’t stay like that for long. Enemy territory and all that.” Buck said.
“I’m coming over there. Cover your ears.” Adagio said.
“Say what now?” Buck said.
Adagio gathered her energy and unleashed a banshee shriek at the wall of fallen rocks, shuddering the ground with a violent, warbling vibration.
"Holy shit, STOP!" Buck shouted over the phone.
The ghastly scream caught in Adagio's throat.
"What do you mean, stop!? I'm trying to get you out of that cave!" Adagio said.
"Anymore'a that and the whole damn mountain's gonna come down on us in here! Yeah, GlimGlam?" Buck said.
Adagio heard Starlight Glimmer chattering angrily in the background.
"Yeah, GlimGlam is saying that the sensing stone was pointing northwest-ish while we were outside, so we'll go through the mountain while you go around it, and we'll meet at the hive." Buck said.
"Absolutely not! What if you two get captured along the way!?" Adagio said.
"Then we'll make it to the hive earlier, I guess. Pretty sure they won’t try to kill us." Buck said. 
There was a brief pause. 
“Okay, pretty sure they won’t try to kill me. Jury’s out on GlimGlam.”
"Adagio, can you track Buck's energy? I think you're the most familiar with his mana signature." Sunburst said.
"I assure you, Sunburst. No one knows Buck's length, girth and flavor better than me." Adagio said.
"Holy shit." Buck said, over the phone.
"But I can't track it through solid rock." Adagio finished.
There was a sound like swearing from the phone, and then Starlight Glimmer’s voice came through it.
"Buck and I will go to the hive, and look for an exit from the cave along the way. I'll call you as soon as I can and tell you our status, but we have to get going. We'll definitely get attacked again if we don’t keep moving." Starlight said.
"That's fine!" Sunburst said, taking the phone. "Whatever happens, we'll meet at the hive!"
"Roger roger!" Buck said.
"And Starlight? I love you." Sunburst said.
Adagio heard Starlight Glimmer bleat something to the effect of an affirmative, and she snatched the phone from Sunbursts' hand.
"Buck! Are you still there?" Adagio said.
"Yeah?" Buck said.
Adagio glanced at Sunburst, who shrugged at her.
"Remember your training." Adagio said.
"I’ll be fine." Buck said.
The phone creaked in Adagio's hand, prompting Sunburst to carefully, gently slide it out of her death grip. The call ended, and Adagio stood there, failing in all respects to remain poised and composed.
"Sunburst, move the rocks! Use your unicorn magic!" Adagio said.
"I can't. That polymorphing spell took most of the mana I had, and I’ve only got…let me see…two pieces of quartz and some eagle feathers. Besides, they're fine." Sunburst said, turning away from the cave.
"What do you mean he's fine!? He's trapped in a dark, cold space that's crawling with dangers!" Adagio said.
“Well, sure.”
“And without me, he’s helpless!”
"Buck is Buck. If he knows how to do anything, it's survive."
“He barely survived fighting a single ghoul on his own!”
“He’s survived you for half a year.” Sunburst said.
The sheep stared dumbly at Sunburst as he turned for the tree line. 
After thinking about committing a murder for a little bit too long, Adagio trotted past him with exaggerated swagger.
"He's fine. Of course he's fine; why wouldn't he be fine? Oh, a cave-in? No, that's perfectly normal, let's get high and make little jokes about mental scars! No, of course Buck is fine. Why would I think he wouldn't be fine?" Adagio said.
"Adagio? Can you do me a favor?" Sunburst said. 
"What?" Adagio said.
Sunburst put a gentle hand on her shoulder.
"Take a deep breath. You're in shock."
"I am not in shock! Everything is fine, I'm not worried about him, in fact right now it would be best if I forget that he exists, so I can focus for a change!" Adagio said, shrugging her shoulder out of Sunbursts' grip.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"That's right! With Buck out of the way, I can stop being distracted and focus on the mission! Let's go, Sunburst, there’s not a moment to lose!" Adagio said, flipping her hair.
"...actually, you’re right. We should get moving. Quickly." Sunburst said, trotting ahead. 
"Hm?" Adagio said. Sunburst leaned over and whispered in her ear.
"I'm going to have to be very careful with my resources going forward. I don’t have many components left, and I just burned through the mana Buck gave me." Sunburst said, urgently.
"Yes, and?" Adagio said.
"I cast a polymorphing spell. On changelings. How long do you think it will take for them to figure that out?" Sunburst said.
There was a flash of green light behind them. Adagio and Sunburst didn't look back; they simply ran for the trees and hoped they could get lost fast.





On a ridge overlooking the mouth of the cave, Queen Chrysalis stood, a calculating expression on her face as she watched Sunburst and Adagio Dazzle flee into the snow-speckled woods.
"So that could've gone better!" Minuette said.
"Their group is cut in half, and they are clearly weakened for it."
"I thought we were going to capture them?" Minuette said.
"We are. Adagio Dazzle is apart from her precious little power source, and now all we need do is let her tire herself out as she avoids capture. We changelings may be ambush predators, but we can hunt with persistence when pressed."
"How're they gonna do that when they're stuck in the snow?" Minuette said, pointing.
The platoon of changelings moved with a stiff, shivering gait through the white slush.
"You know that changelings don't fare well in low temperatures. Without a sufficient energy source, we freeze up in the cold. They need help." Chrysalis said.
"So what?" Minuette said.
Chrysalis’ grimace swapped to a quick smile as Minuette turned to her.
"You could give them a stipend of mana. That would allow them to better control their forms and hunt more effectively."
"Hmmm….nah."
"What?"
"I'm not giving them any more mana. They've done their bit!" Minuette said.
"We need more manpower. Adagio Dazzle is skulking around in those woods."
"Yeah, you're a little obsessed with her, huh? Did you guys date or something?" Minuette giggled.
"Adagio Dazzle is the most dangerous creature that you could possibly encounter in this world. She is not to be trifled with in any situation. The fact that she's here at all means she's after the hive, and I’m not going to let her bring death to my children a second time!"
"Relax, Chryssi, relax! I'll take care of her for you, don't worry!"
"You? You alone? Didn't you try that once?" Chrysalis said.
"Chryssi, don't get testy, it's super not cute. So maybe she cut my head off! So what? I've gotten way tougher since then, and thanks to you, I know how to push her buttons! Why don't you go and deal with the other two in the caves?" Minuette said.	
"It’s foolish to underestimate her." Chrysalis said.
"Are you underestimating me?" Minuette fixed Chrysalis with a grin that made her blood run cold.
Chrysalis's eyes drifted away with a shudder.
"What's that on your back?" Minuette said.
"What? What is it?" Chrysalis said.
"I've never seen a spell like it." Minuette said.
The changeling queen’s head spun around with a sickening crack as she glared down to examine herself.
A thin arrow of force jutted from the small of Chrysalis' back, a near-invisible thread of green mana leading down into the stone at her feet.
"It looks like they're tracking you, Chryssi." Minuette said.
"They’re not targeting the hive…they’re targeting me." Chrysalis said.
A look of fear gripped her face, but after a moment's contemplation, it twisted into a sadistic grin.
"I can use this."
"Great! Good! You do your thing and I'll do mine, and we'll meet back at the hive!" Minuette said.
"Wait, what exactly are you going to-"
"Byeeee~!"
Minuette waved cheerily at Chrysalis, and with a bright, chilling smile, the zombie dropped off the edge of the outcropping and into the trees below.
"...I despise that creature." Chrysalis said.





Far off the beaten path, beside the towering wall of rock that made up the mountain's eastern face and beneath the white-pocked canopy, Adagio and Sunburst strode purposefully through the snow; Sunburst in front, Adagio behind, humming a gentle tune.
The footprints they left in the snow slowly filled in, leaving no trace of their travel.
“Sunburst? For a unicorn, you’re surprisingly quiet and introverted.” Adagio said.
“Uh, I’m a human.” Sunburst said.
“Oh, you know what I mean! I didn’t mean it in a bad way.” Adagio said.
“Ooookay then.” Sunburst muttered, flipping through Stygian’s spellbook.
“It was a compliment. Most of the unicorns I’ve interacted with have been absolutely infuriating.” Adagio said.
“Sure. Adagio, I’ve been meaning to ask. Do you know anything about this?” Sunburst said. 
“About what?” Adagio said.
Sunburst offered the dark leatherbound tome to Adagio, showing that several pages had been clearly torn out.
“Ah. That. Even I believe that certain spells shouldn’t be shared. I had to remove some pages, in the event that the book fell into more devious hands.” Adagio said.
“More devious than yours?” Sunburst said.
“Anything is possible.” Adagio smirked.
“Hm. I wonder when the next attack will be?” Sunburst said.
“Who’s to say? Do changelings track by scent?” Adagio said.
“Not that I know of.”
“Well, we aren’t leaving any tracks—you’re welcome—and we’re staying in the treeline, so they probably won’t find us easily. If any get close enough to strike, I’ll be able to taste them. Even going that far, those drones were clearly falling apart, and there can’t be many more.” Adagio said.
“That’s good. I don’t know how useful I could be in another fight. With the components I have, I might be able to give you some support, but big spells are out of the question.” Sunburst said.
“Who cares? I’m more than capable of handling this mission on my own. If you want, you can return to the car and wait.”
“I’m not letting you do this alone, Adagio.”
“Just don’t get in my way, Sunburst, and everything will be fine. Frankly, I’m still worried about the other two.”
“Starlight and Buck? I’m sure they’ve got everything under control.” Sunburst said.
“I don’t think they can get along very well in a high stress situation.”
“Oh?”
“Scratch that. I don’t think Starlight Glimmer is capable of cooperating with Buck. The two of them always seem to be an inch away from each other’s throats. Normally I find it amusing, but not when their lives are in danger.” Adagio said.
“I don’t think you give her enough credit.” Sunburst said.
“I’ve fought at her side. No offense, Sunburst, but your little girlfriend doesn’t play well with others.” Adagio said.
“Adagio, I know that last fight left you rattled, but you don’t have to worry. Starlight is a genius, and Buck can get along with anyone. If anything, they’re probably making faster progress than we are.”





In the shadowy depths of the Everfree caves, a small group of changelings scuttled down a corridor, leaving behind a spotty trail of green mucus. 
A few seconds after the sounds of their clumsy feet faded away, a pulsing red light illuminated the stony space.
“That was fuckin’ close.” Buck said, sweat rolling down his purple cheek.
“We could have taken them. The more changelings we take down, the less we’ll have to contend with when we catch up to the queen.” Starlight said.
“You’re outta your damn mind. We gotta play this careful. We don’t have the action economy to go barreling through a whole-ass bug army!”
“We would if you could get control of your mana!” Starlight hissed.
“I tried! It just don’t wanna work with you.”
“And how is that my fault?”
“I didn’t say it was! Magic’s a weird, silly, sorta sexy thing. Maybe its because I'm tired, or maybe it's because I haven't gotten laid in what feels like a million years, I dunno! I’m doin’ my best here!”
“Well, your best needs to go run some laps before you get us both killed.”
Starlight said it flippantly as she looked away from Buck, scanning the environment for any hostiles. She didn’t notice Buck’s chill facade slip suddenly into genuine anger.
“Know what? Maybe you are the problem.”
“What!?”
“You’ve been given’ me shit since the second we got in here. I’m supposed to be true with my feelings or whatever to make this work, but you’re such a fuckin’ Type A personality, I can’t care enough to charge you up with the pink stuff.”
“Type A?”
“That’s a capital ‘A’ for capital asshole.”
“Fuck you.” Starlight said.
“No, fuck you!” Buck said. The red light floating over his hand intensified.
“FUCK YOU!” Starlight said.
“FUUUUUCK YOU!” Buck said.
The cave suddenly shook with a cacophony of stampeding feet and excited hissing.





“They’re fine. I’m sure.” Sunburst said. “Frankly, I don’t think it’s their safety that you’re really worried about.”
"Do I detect a hint of animosity?" Adagio said.
"Where? Are we under attack?" Sunburst looked around.
"I meant from you, Sunburst. You seem frustrated, and I can't imagine why." Adagio said.
"You can't?"
"Yes. I’ve been nothing but a boon to your cause since I decided to lend my expertise.”
“And you don’t think that you could have handled things differently? At any point at all?”
“Since I’ve been your greatest asset in this fight, no. I think I’ve more than made up for any previous slips.”
“Adagio, I’m not talking about the mission.”
“Well then I have no idea what could have you so bothered.” Adagio said.
"You don't have to be defensive with me, Adagio. I know you're a living thing with feelings; you don't have to hide them."
"I'm not hiding anything."
"And there's nothing you want to talk about? Nothing important?"
"Nothing at all."
"Wow.”
“What is it now?”
“I think I'm starting to understand how Buck feels about this whole situation." Sunburst said.
"What exactly are you inferring?" Adagio said.
"Every time anyone tries to communicate with you on an emotional level, you twirl your cape and dance away." Sunburst said.
"I think capes are gauche, actually. Why would I need to wear a cape when I have this magnificent mane to flutter on the breeze?" Adagio said.
"Adagio."
"Sunburst?"
"No, that's fine. I'll just say it; Adagio, pretending that nothing is wrong between you and Buck isn’t going to solve anything."
"Me!? He's the one pretending I barely exist!”
“He’s treating you like a co-worker. It’s a healthy distance.”
“If anything, he's keeping me at arm's length because he's scared that the big bad monster might teach him something about himself!" Adagio said. 
Something rustled in the treetop overhead. After a moment of tense silence, Sunburst and Adagio relaxed when they saw that it was just a squirrel.
"He's not scared, he's exhausted." Sunburst said.
"He needs rest, certainly, but he’s no less energetic than ever." Adagio said.
"Have you ever seen Buck in a state where he didn't seem tired?" Sunburst said.
Adagio opened her mouth to speak, but the retort died on her lips.
"Do you know the feeling of soreness you get after you spend a day really exerting yourself? The kind of tired where all you can do is lay down and feel the tingling in your limbs?"
"Yes of course I do."
"Well, Buck feels that all the time, in his head. He's sick, Adagio." 
She recalled the number of times she had to tell Buck to lay down and rest, his persistent yawning during sessions, and the bags under his eyes.
A cold wind blew through the trees, giving Adagio a bit of a shiver.
“The Buck you know is operating at minimum capacity, and he has been the whole time. When I moved to Canterlot and I reconnected with Buck, he just seemed lost and empty. I told him to go for therapy, but he couldn’t afford it. The second he could, he gave that money to Ditzy Doo, so she could go in his place.”
“He’s a fool.” Adagio said.
"He hates seeing people suffer; that’s just the way he is. But he doesn’t seem to realize that he counts as people. Sometimes I want to just…grab him by the shoulders and yell at him to take care of himself; to get away from this city and go be with his Mom and just rest, because for the longest time, I felt like I was watching my best friend kill himself, and there was nothing I could do.”
Adagio tasted a bubbling, bitter sadness. She turned and saw the beginning of tears in Sunburst’s eyes.
“But then he met you.” Sunburst said.
“Sunburst-”
“Let me finish. He met you, and he just came alive. He was scared of you, at first. Starlight told me she saw you, and then Buck explained what happed on that first date, and he was terrified. But then later, he said you came to his work, and the two of you talked, and he was excited. More excited than I had ever seen him. He really, genuinely thought you were trying to court him and form a bond with him, and Buck was over the moon. I was at Donut Joes', you know? I came to check on him during your second date, and I saw how you two interacted, and I knew it was going to be okay. I knew, because I saw how you made each other smile, and its the same smile I see on Starlight’s face when we’re alone. But I was wrong."
"Are you trying to make me feel guilty? Is that what this is?"
A sudden spike of anger. Sunburst gritted his teeth.
"No, Adagio, I'm trying to get you to see what I see. I see two people, two very scarred, very hurt people, who were forming a special bond. I saw you building Buck up, and I saw Buck giving you warmth and patience. I thought you were helping each other to become more complete versions of yourselves. I know that you have feelings for him, even if you want to pretend otherwise."
"You don't know anything about how I feel." Adagio spat.
"I know you didn't bring that hoodie because you thought you'd be cold."
Adagio stopped and stared at her feet. Somehow, during the course of the conversation, she had crossed her arms as if to hug herself. She had been cold at some point, hadn’t she? But now, as she thought it over, she felt warmth rushing into her cheeks. 
His warmth.
“...this hoodie still has a bit of his energy in it. I brought it because I thought I might be able to tap it.”
“His energy? From months ago?”
“...it’s comfortable.” Adagio said.
Snowflakes fell into Adagio’s hair.
“Who are you trying to fool, Adagio?” Sunburst said.
“Who are you to interrogate me?” Adagio said.
“Your friend!"
"I don't have any friends, Sunburst."
"If this is too much for you, I’ll let it rest. But I’m not going to let you keep picking at Buck. He was right to reject you; you don’t respect him.”
“Excuse me?”
“You keep trying to pull his strings, and when he won’t let you do it, you get angry and push him away. But then he forgives you, and the second he lets you in, even a little bit, you try to take advantage of him. You’re emotionally manipulative.”
“I’m a monster. Haven’t we been over this? It’s in my nature to do as I please and take as I please.” Adagio said.
She was walking from Sunburst, through the crunching snow. Or was she running?
“No.” Sunburst said, moving in lockstep.
"No? What do you mean, no?"
"That excuse isn't going to cut it with me. If you don't stop playing him like a game you can win, he's going to cut you out completely, and I'll support him because it’ll be the right thing to do."
"Are you threatening me?"
"I'm warning you. Do you remember when we met? The conversation we had?"
"Of course I do."
“Are you sure?"
"Yes, of course."
"Then why aren't you respecting his boundaries?"
"...I got overzealous."
"That's what you said last time."
"So I got carried away! We were alone, and we were talking, and he..."
"What?"
"He didn't do anything to me. I was frustrated, okay? Sometimes I just…he makes me crazy!”
“What do you mean?”
Now Adagio rounded on Sunburst, a red glare in her eyes as she spoke.
“Every time he comes to my suite, he’s a little bit more worn down, a little more frustrated. I'm sick and tired of watching that man fold himself into a smaller shape just to make Ditzy Doo THINK that she can handle him."
"But Ditzy makes him happy, Adagio. You have to see that."
"No, he only thinks she makes him happy because she's dull and simple! He wants Ditzy Doo the way you want for a plain doughnut. She's easy and unchallenging and, and, vanilla!"
“Oh, so you think he should have someone ‘challenging’ who punishes him for trying to form a genuine connection?”
“I never tried to do that! What we had-what we have is complicated! He’s the one that made it complicated! If he would just stop overthinking my every little motivation and just trust me, things would be so much simpler!”
“Do you really think you’re worthy of his trust?”
“Are you trying to make me angry, Sunburst? Was that your brilliant plan for today?” Adagio growled, but Sunburst stood his ground.
Somewhere in the distance, a quiet chime rang. A thin ribbon of red force floated out of Adagio’s back and into the trees.
"Look, Adagio. I would like to be on your side, but I can't. Buck is my best friend, and you aren't good for him. You're not treating him right, and it might be the case that you don't know how to."
"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HOW TO IF HE KEEPS ME AT ARM'S LENGTH!?” Adagio bellowed, throwing her hands into the air. “How am I supposed to give him what he wants if he shrinks away from me when I try to get closer? I don't know what he wants, Sunburst, and since he won't just tell me, I don't think he knows either!" Adagio snarled.
Sunburst stared at Adagio for a moment, but then his serious facade crumbled and he started to chuckle.
"Don't you dare laugh at me, human child!"
"Adagio, Buck said the exact same thing about you. Every time Buck gets close to you and tries to love you, you deflect. So why do you take offense when he chooses another woman who actually tries to communicate with him?"
“She’s holding him back. She’s not enough for him, and soon enough, she’s going to scamper away for fear of his rising power.” Adagio turned and began to walk again.
“Well, soon enough is now, since Ditzy and Buck are taking a break.”
Adagio stopped, her foot risen in mid-stride. She turned her head to Sunburst, who looked like he was about to staple his own mouth shut.
“...come again?”  
“I shouldn’t have said that.” Sunburst said. 
Up in the canopy, just within earshot of Adagio and Sunburst, a pair of green slitted eyes narrowed with focus.
“What do you mean, taking a break? Were those the exact words? A break?” Adagio said.
“Adagio, that’s none of your business.”
“It is very much my business to know why Buck is so cold today! It could interfere with his magic, and thus our plans! It could put him in danger!”
“Ditzy Doo was attacked by a changeling in the park.” Sunburst sighed.
“And?”
“And when she realized that Buck and I were in that park containing a magical mishap, she told Buck that she can’t be around him. She said they need to spend some time apart until Buck is confident he can control his magic.”
“More like repress it, I’m sure. So now she’s running scared from Buck–just as I thought–and she’s broken up their relationship and his poor little heart.”
“Adagio, they aren’t broken up, they’re just taking a break. Don’t mess with him.”
“Ah, yes, a classic human move! ‘Oh, darling, it’s not you, it’s me! I just think we need a little space!’. Adorable. He’s like a puppy that’s grown too big and unruly for her to handle. She’s tied him to a post outside so he won’t make a mess in the house. Is that about the long and short of it?”
“Adagio, they are still very much in love.” Sunburst said.
“Oh, certainly, but for how long? ‘I need some space’ can very quickly turn into ‘We should see other people’ and then “Don't worry, we’ll work this out later’ and then my personal favorite ‘Oh. It’s you.’” Adagio said, barely containing her mirth.
“She’s not like that, Adagio. Ditzy cares about Buck, but she doesn’t feel safe with his magic being the way it is.”
“Yes, and now that she’s out of his way and mine, we can all move on with our lives!”
“You’re being cruel.”
“I’m being realistic! Good for her, honestly! She never could cut it as a rival to me. She’s better off focusing on butchering poodle skirts and tending to her little brat! A shame she put a collar around Buck’s neck before scampering off, the greedy little thing, but that won’t be enough to hold him back, believe me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Without Ditzy Doo around to make him feel self-conscious, Buck is finally free to embrace his own power! He can be exactly who he is without reservation! Frankly, I thought you’d be excited.” Adagio said, practically skipping through the snow.
“And you think he’ll come running back to you?” Sunburst frowned.
Adagio’s smile faded as she came to a stop.
“If he’s smart, he will.”
“Even though you push him away at every turn?”
"No I do not!"
"We are literally having this conversation because Buck was trying to have a genuine dialogue with you, and you made it about sex."
"I was…I was just trying to connect with him! Buck loves sex!"
"He has a complicated realtionship with sex." Sunburst said.
"Which I've only just found out about!" Adagio said.
"Because he was afraid you’d use it against him! Which you did! Immediately!"
"I didn't mean to! I wasn't trying to hurt his feelings, I thought we could connect about sex, because I thought that he...I…UGH! This is ridiculous! No matter what I try with him, it comes out wrong!"
"Well, at least we're on the same page. This feeling right here? That's how Buck feels when he tries to reach out to you."
Adagio was quiet then, and blessedly, Sunburst let her sit in her silence as they slowly made their way around the mountainside.
Unbeknownst to them, a pair of scraggly wings buzzed away, bearing a sadistic grin and some juicy gossip.
Beyond the treeline, Adagio could see a grown-over path snaking its way upward. To the north, there was a wide valley dotted with young, short trees, and at the far edge, nestled in the mountain's cleft, was a speck of a building.
Snowflakes drifted down from the dark grey sky.
“Woah. That’s interesting. I didn’t think there were any buildings between here and Camp Everfree.” Sunburst said.
“I think I saw mention of an inn on the map that Buck and I looked at.” Adagio said.
“Can you taste anything from here?” Sunburst said.
Adagio pulled out her phone, and with a stroke of the fingers, she zoomed in on the building.
“No. But if I had to make a guess, I would say that’s our destination.”
“How do you know?” Sunburst said.
Adagio beckoned, and Sunburst leaned over to look at the image on the phone. 
It was a resplendent hotel with art deco architecture, but its angular columns and grand arches were scarred by a pale, stony substance that crept along the walls like an invasive vine.
“Call it a hunch.” Adagio said.
Thunder boomed over the valley, and the world flashed.
"Thaaaat's not normal." Sunburst said.
"I'm beginning to think there's a reason why we haven't been followed." Adagio said, eyes scanning the shade surrounding her.
A sudden sharp chime caused Adagio to jump. 
She spun, sword drawn, to see Sunburst holding his phone to his ear.
“What are you doing!?” Adagio whispered.
“I’m getting a call.” Sunburst said. “Starlight? Yes, I can talk. You managed to find some wifi in there? That’s amazing! Yes, Adagio is here with me. Yes? Yes.”
Sunburst poked at the phone.
“Okay, you’re on speaker.” Sunburst said.
“Adagio, are you there?” Starlight said.
“Yes, Starlight, what do you want?” Adagio said.
“You have to help me. Buck is driving me crazy, and he’s going to get us both killed.” Starlight said.
“What? Buck is far more capable than-”
“No, I mean he’s high, we’re lost, and now he’s singing.” 
“What?” Adagio said.
“The krusty krab pizza! Is the pizza! For you and me!” Buck sang somewhere in the background.
“I’m in hell. This is hell.” Starlight said.
“How are you lost? I thought you had the sensing stone?” Sunburst said.
“The sensing stone isn’t working! Or it’s working too well! The beam is flipping all over the place! I think the queen is on to us and she’s flying around out there to keep us lost!” Starlight said.
“Hah! I bet she looks ridiculous.” Adagio said.
“Look, we’re running in circles down here, and Buck’s magic has been basically no help.” Starlight said.
“How is that possible?” Sunburst said.
“I don’t know! Not only is his mana hard to wield, it’s having a weird effect on the changelings!”
“Weird how?”
“I think it’s making them stronger. If we keep running around down here, we’re just going to tire ourselves out and get caught.”
“You’re still getting attacked by scouts? How many are crawling around down there?” Sunburst said.
“Like way more than you’d think!” Buck laughed.
“That’s a lot of energy to go around. They may have a stockpile of people hidden away.” Adagio said.
“Have you two made any progress?” Starlight said.
“Well, we found the hive.” Sunburst said.
“Great! Which direction is it in?” Starlight said.
“It’s some sort of hotel in the valley between two of the mountains.” Adagio said.
“Above ground?” Starlight said.
“Yep.” Sunburst said.
“Great, just great! We came down here for nothing!”
“Woo! Pointless!” Buck said.
“Adagio, please I can’t stand this. What do you do when Buck starts acting unreasonable?” Starlight said.
“I encourage him.” Adagio smiled.
“Oh, you are no help at all! Okay, okay, I think I’ve got an idea. With any luck, you’ll see us at the hive very soon.” Starlight said.
“Okay, I love you!” Sunburst said.
“I love you too! Starlight out!” Starlight said.
“This isn’t a radio, you don’t need to say that.” Adagio said.
“KRUSTY KRAYAYAAAAB-” Buck sang loudly, then there was a loud crash before the line went completely dead.
Sunburst and Adagio looked at each other for a moment.
“...they’re probably fine.” Sunburst said, dialing another number.
"What are you doing now?"
"A little due diligence." Sunburst said.





In a cozy condo somewhere on the west side of Canterlot, daylight crawled across a plush and shaggy carpet.
It was a modestly appointed bedroom with light blue walls and a line of vibrant potted succulents on the windowsill.
A wide closet was half-filled with trendy ensembles and nearly identical business suits, and across from it was a queen-sized bed hosting a thin, feminine form.
A cream-colored hand bumbled blindly until it managed to grab a buzzing phone on the bed stand.
"This better be good." Sweetie Drops said.
"Ooh, sorry. Were you asleep?"
"I sure was, Sunburst, I sure was. What's going on?"
"We’ve found the hive. It's some sort of old hotel in the mountains. Can you ping my phone?"
Sweetie Drops sat up and scratched at her bedhead, frowning at the sheen of sweat on her arms.
"We can, yes. What's your status? Any injuries?"
"Underpowered, but we'll manage. There may be victims in the hive, so we might need an airlift."
"Consider it done. Is Adagio behaving?"
"As best as we can hope for." Sunburst said.
"I heard that," Adagio said distantly. 
"Sweetie Drops, something strange is going on out here. It's snowing."
"Have you seen any rifts?"
"I expected to, but no. Somehow they've altered the weather, but without expending a whole lot of mana." 
"Well, that's weird. Sunburst, I need you to prioritize recon. Get us as much information about this situation as you can salvage, and leave the heroing to Starlight if you can help it."
"We were separated, actually. She's with Buck."
"And you're alone with Adagio? Is that safe?"
Back in the snowy woods, Sunburst stared at Adagio for a few seconds.
"I trust her." Sunburst said.
"Well, that's good enough for me. Stay sharp out there, Agent Sunburst. Stay warm."
The door creaked open. Sweetie Drops shoved her phone under a pillow, hands raised in defense, only to see a smiling mint green face poke into the room.
"Bon Bon, are you up? We gotta get ready if we're going to catch that concert!"
"Lyra! I'm not decent!" Bon Bon said, covering her chest.
"What? You wear pajamas to bed!"
"Just give me a little privacy!" Bon Bon said.
"Such a prude, geez."
A pillow thumped against the cracked door.
"Look, I'm gonna go without you if you take too long! I wanna get some primo bench seats in the front row!" Lyra said.
"Just give me a few minutes! I need to make a few calls for work, and I'll be right with you." Bon Bon said.
"Yeah, yeah, work work work! You gotta loosen up a little sometime!" Lyra said from behind the door.
"What, and be as loose as you?"
"Hey, it pays the bills!" Lyra peaked in again with a grin. Another pillow came flying, this time rebounding off her face.
"Yipe! Okay, okay, no lookie! Just wrap it up as quick as you can and catch me in the car!"
The door shut.
"Sure thing! I'll be down soon."
Bon Bon's grin slipped off her face, and the serious scowl of Agent Sweetie Drops returned.
"...get the lift going first, then we’ll work from there." She said, dialing a number.





"...Sweetie Drops?" Adagio said.
"What, you didn't think her real name was Bon Bon, did you?" Sunburst said.
"It is a silly name in retrospect. I mostly try to ignore her when I can."
"Then I guess she's doing her job well!" Sunburst said.
"Hm. Let's think about our approach. It seems like there's only one path up to the hotel, and not much cover on the sides.
"There might be something in Stygian's book that can get us over there. Maybe a levitation spell?" Sunburst said.
"And fly us directly into the changeling's line of sight?" Adagio said.
"That's a point."
"Any invisibility charms?" Adagio said.
"No, that's more Starlight's bag. Hmm…maybe we can make a diversion?" Sunburst said.
"You see, this would be much easier with an army of hypnotized teenagers to use as fodder." Adagio smiled.
"Oh, very funny." Sunburst said, stowing his phone away.
"Yes, I'm hilarious." Adagio said. "If we can't make it an ambush, we may have to find a back entrance."
Adagio heard another chime, but this one was quiet and muffled. A text on Sunbursts’ phone, probably.
"Honestly, this is where Buck would come in handy. He's an idea man." Sunburst said.
"Starlight said his magic was making the drones stronger. What could that mean?" Adagio said.
"I have a hypothesis about that, actually." Sunburst said, once again perusing Stygian’s book of spells. "But one thing at a time. Changeling hives are notoriously difficult to sneak into unoticed, but I think there’s a spell in here that’ll do the trick…ah! Here it is! Okay, I’ve got something. We’ll have to go one at a time, but I think-"
*THWACK*
A sound like a butcher's knife striking a cutting board came from nearby, and then a tree came crashing down.
Sunburst and Adagio scrambled through the snow, then zig-zagged out of the way as another tree fell, followed by another, and then more.
Adagio was mortified. As she and Sunburst ran from the falling lumber, all she could think of was how brutally embarrassing this whole situation was. She had been on the back foot for so long that it bordered on parody.
Adagio’s huffing breath came out as a pale fog, and a shiver ran through her as she charged through the snow, rushing under tree after tree as they toppled down.
And then suddenly, there were no trees left. Sunburst and Adagio were out in the open, standing back to back beneath the rumbling grey skies.
More snowflakes drifted down into the valley.
"Nowhere to hide, kiddies!" Giggled a voice from somewhere nearby.
"What the? Whossat!?" Sunburst panted, clutching his postman's bag to his chest.
"Oh, it's this bitch again." Adagio groaned.
"Who?" Sunburst said.
The snow stirred around the pair, rising from the ground and rolling into hand-sized balls before sharpening into floating icicles.
"Move!" Adagio said.
Sunburst ducked down just as the icy projectiles came flying from all directions. Adagio yelped as one slashed her leg at the surface, ducked under another, and finally managed to knock one away with her rapier.
Sunburst and Adagio ran, barely avoiding a skewering as best as they could, but everywhere they turned, the snow formed more spikes to hurl at them.
"Aww, are you running away again? I heard you do that when things get tough!" The voice cackled.
"I'm not the coward hiding out while tossing snowballs!" Adagio said.
A literal snowball plastered the back of her head in white frost.
"Cute. I seem to recall you being the one to flee the last time we met!" Adagio said. "Did you come here looking for a repeat performance? Or perhaps your hair is a bit too long and you want a little more off the top?"
Adagio looked to and fro, searching for any hint of her foe. She hummed softly and twirled a finger behind her back. The snow she and Sunburst were standing in took on a pink glow and began to melt.
"Oh, you've got jokes! I love jokes! Here, I've got one for you! Knock knock!" The voice said.
Thunder boomed over the valley.
"Uh…who's there?" Sunburst said.
A figure burst from the snow, clad in a dark cloak. A short blue horn protruded from her forehead. Her pearly teeth glinted in the flash of lightning as she lunged.
"ME!" Minuette shrieked.
Time slowed in Adagio's mind, her eyes darting rapidly around as she took in fine details.
She tasted cold, unfeeling malice.
The ghoul's right hand was encased in a spear of ice. The other was reaching for Sunbursts' throat!
Adagio brought her blade around, her thoughts racing. Stabbing and slashing were probably useless, and conserving mana could be the difference between life and death, which meant the best option was a blunt physical offense.
Adagio's rapier rang as it batted the blade of ice away, then Adagio delivered a swift kick to the cloak's chest, knocking her backward.
"You may as well give up now! I'm more than a match for you, even without my associate here!" Adagio said, gesturing at Sunburst.
"Gaah! Ah, get this thing off me!" Sunburst wailed. A pale blue arm was scrambling all over him like a panicked spider. 	Sunburst grabbed it and threw it into the snow, but it simply floated off the ground and flew at him, fingertips glowing with a familiar green light.
"Sunburst, don't let it touch you!" Adagio said.
The marauding zombie lunged again, leaving Adagio to do nothing but parry and block the blade of ice with her rapier.
"Oopsie doopsie! Did you forget you lopped off my arm?" The ghoul said, slashing at Adagio with wild abandon. "You think you can protect yourself and that cutie at the same time!?"
"I’ve already killed you once, and I’ll do it again!" Adagio smirked.
She'd done this dance before; use the rapier's reach, stay just out of range with persistent jabs.
Adagio pierced the zombie's shoulder, then followed up with a punch to the face, which seemed to crunch into Minuette's cheek as if it were made of porcelain.
"Hah!" Adagio laughed.
The ghoul smiled and stepped forward, taking the blade in deeper. Adagio hopped back and just barely dodged a slash that would have taken her eyes.
"Ooh, I'm soooo scared of your little pointy bit! What're you gonna do, poke me to death!?" The zombie said, but then her laughter turned into a shriek.
The disembodied arm fell into the snow, completely lifeless.
Sunburst kicked the arm away. He held the changeling stone necklace in one hand.
"Phew! I've got to thank Buck for this later!" Sunburst said.
"Sunburst, get out of here!" Adagio said. "She's trying to read your mind!"
"Yeah, that's not good! That's not good at all!" Sunburst said, running for the trees.
"That hurt. That's not supposed to happen. Nothing is supposed to hurt." The ghoul said.
"Oh, really? Tell me, does this hurt!?" Adagio said, and the puddle that formed in the snow at her feet reared up like a lashing cobra. It wrapped around the zombie's form and constricted her to the ground, pinning her legs. The strands of water squeezed, and Adagio could hear the sound of bones cracking.
"Hmm…nope!" The ghoul said. The horn jutting from her head lit up with a bluish-black glow.
More spears of ice rose from the snow.
Adagio hummed, and the watery tendrils rippled, growing sharp like razor wire.
"Call off your attack, or I'll slice you into pretty little pieces." Adagio said.
The ghoul grinned, and all of the floating spears pointed at Sunburst.
"You don't have to do this, Minuette! You're not a killer!" Sunburst said.
"You know my name?" Minuette said.
"After we fought that last zombie, I decided to look at the Canterlot obituaries! Your name is Minuette, you're thirty-three years old, and you used to attend CCU!"
The spears extended slowly.
"Let me go, or your little friend is done for!" Minuette said.
"He's not my friend." Adagio said. "If you kill him, all you'll do is annoy me."
"Oooh! That's almost as cold as me!" Minuette said.
Sunburst glanced at Adagio in desperation. She ignored him.
"From what I read, you were kind and well-loved! I-I-If you let me go, the Pillars can fix whatever has been done to you! We could get in touch with your friends! Don't you think they'll be glad to see you?" Sunburst said.
"Oh, you don't know me at all. I don't have any friends." Minuette smiled.
The spears flew. Adagio closed her hand, and the watery wires cut Minuette into motionless pieces.
The icy spears melted into slush and fell into the snow.
"Fool." Adagio said. "Had you been a bit more amicable, we might have come to an arrangement, but now you're no good to anyone."
“Adagio…what the hell was that?”
“What?”
“You were willing to gamble with my life, just like that?”
“Oh please, Sunburst.”
“This isn’t even the first time!”
“Yes, and both times you managed to survive. Congratulations and you’re welcome.” Adagio said.
Sunburst looked at his feet and shook his head.
“What is it now?”
“I thought you’d changed.” Sunburst said.
“People don’t really change, Sunburst. Regardless, we’re out here together, so we may as well work together. Is that enough trust for you?”
Sunburst stared at Adagio for a few moments. Adagio tasted him cycle through anger, then recognition, and finally resignation.
“Is this really who you want to be?”
“What?”
“Is this the person that you want to be? The kind that would sell out your allies at a moment’s notice? Do you really think that’s the kind of person Buck wants to be with?”
“And who are you to criticize my methods?”
“Your friend.”
“Hmph.”
“I know you have your pride, and I know you have your goals, but if you do this to everyone who tries to get close, you’re going to wake up one day and wonder why you’re so alone.”
Adagio wanted to slap Sunburst across the face. She wanted to call her sisters and demand their presence. She wanted to hold Buck.
More than anything, she wanted to argue, but she couldn’t. She had been waking up alone for far too long already.
“...are you hurt?” Adagio said.
"Just my pride." Sunburst sighed. "What was that spell she tried to touch me with?"
"A mind reading spell. I saw quite a bit of it at the G.G.A.A."
"Really? What for?"
"Cheating on tests, mostly. She must have pegged you for a scholar."
"It's a good thing she didn't get me, then, since knowledge is kind of my thing."
"Regardless, that's not a skill she had the last time we fought; neither is ice-based transmutation. Mana manipulation, telekinesis, and some sort of cold, withering beam are what I remember. She's a unicorn, certainly."
"Well, maybe she learned new spells while she was dead?" Sunburst said. He looked over the body, then covered his mouth and tried not to vomit.
The horn that protruded from Minuette's head disappeared.
"Not likely. It would take years of study to do what she did at even a basic level." Adagio said, sheathing her sword.
"I guess she's also the reason for the season." Sunburst said.
The light snow whipped around the pairs' heads, carried by a stiff wind.
"And that makes even less sense." Adagio said, turning for the trees.
"You're telling me! I mean, changing the weather? She's not a Pegasus, so doing this with spells is…the mana consumption alone would tear a rift open, if she could get it at all!" Sunburst said.
"Well, it doesn’t matter right now. The hive must have heard the commotion, so we should get to cover before we get swarmed." Adagio said.
"Uh, Adagio?" Sunburst said.
"Brilliant move trying to appeal to a monster's sensibilities, by the way." Adagio said, walking away. "Maybe we should ask Chrysalis to play nice, and see where that takes us!"
"Adagio, listen."
"Your manipulation skills could use some work; that's all I'm saying. I could tutor you, if you want!" Adagio said.
"Adagio, listen to me for just a second! She's not being teleported away like Burnt Oak was!"
"Ah." Adagio said.
A chime sounded across the valley. Minuette's horn faded back into reality, then her jaw dropped into a banshee scream.
The sky boomed in response.
"I may have miscalculated." Adagio said. 
"We should run!" Sunburst said.
"BUT TO WHERE!?" Minuette howled.
The world went white. Adagio stumbled in the buffering winds, yelling for Sunburst to stay close, to make for the trees, but it was lost in the screaming winds, then the handfuls of snow that struck all over her body in a barrage of frigid blows.
Buck’s hoodie could not keep the cold out; soon, Adagio would be soaked to the bone.
All the sound faded away, smothered under a blanket of unrelenting, paralyzing cold that surrounded Adagio at all sides.
Adagio had almost forgotten how it felt to be truly alone. Cold and crushing and comfortable. Safe.
Adagio was Home, and she felt fine.
“Adagio? Adagio, wake up!”
Adagio’s eyes snapped open.
She was curled up on the ground, and standing next to her was Sunburst, clutching a couple of feathers in his hand. A topaz wind swirled around the two of them, tossing away the violent hail as if struck from all directions.
“Sunburst?”
“We don’t have much time! I can’t hold this wind wall spell for much longer!”
“Sunburst, I’m sorry.” Adagio said, numbly.
“That’s great, that’s great, but we’re going to be covered in snow any second now, and I don’t think I know any spells that can protect us from hypothermia!”
“That’s fine. I deserve to be buried.”
“Adagio! Look at me! Why did you come out here!?”
The yellow-orange winds swirled with a tinkling noise. A snowball fell through and hit the ground at Sunbursts’ feet.
“I…I wanted to capture Chrysalis!”
“Why?”
“To take that uppity roach down a peg, and to defend Canterlot!”
“Why do you want to defend Canterlot, Adagio!?”
“Because one day my sisters will come back to me, and Canterlot will be their home!”
“And what else?” Sunburst said. His teeth were gritted, and his knees were shaking.
“Because…because Buck lives there!”
“Once this spell is up, I’m not going to have much mana left! Do you think you can get us through this!?”
“Not…not without a plan. That thing is still out there, and dismemberment won’t stop it. It must be getting mana from somewhere, or these spells wouldn’t be possible.”
“Right, right, that’s good, that’s good! What do we do, then!?” Sunburst said.
“We need to find the source of her power and separate her from it. Then we can stall her out as she burns through her remaining mana.”
“Do you think we can win a war of attrition with a blizzard?”
“...not with the paltry mana I have right now. I'd need a very powerful spell to wear her down.”
“Okay, Adagio? I have an idea.”
“An idea?”
“A theory! I think you have more mana in you right now than you think!”
“What are you talking about!?”
Something battered against the wall of wind and snapped away. Another heavy blow struck the barricade, and Sunburst fell to a knee. Adagio could taste that cold, thoughtless malice again. Minuette was out there.
“When Buck and I did that mission the other day, something miraculous happened! I think you can get a burst of mana, but you’re going to have to trust me!”
“What do I need to do!?”
“You still have some of Buck’s mana in you from the spell we cast, right!?”
“Yes!”
“Think about Buck!”
“What!?”
“Think about what you like about him! Think about the time you’ve spent with him and what it meant to you! Think about how you feel about him!”
“Sunburst, this is no time for couple's therapy!”
“And there’s no time to argue! Think about how it feels when Buck holds you! His face when you study magic together! Think about that hoodie you're wearing!”
And there it was. Adagio had been so flustered that day; the day she met Ditzy Doo properly. All the blustering and baking left her precious little time to spend with Buck. They’d had a sweet moment in the kitchen, but it was fleeting; a silly song and some sweet nothings interrupted by Buck’s quiet dread of being abandoned. His voice in her ear and his roaming, tender hands and his eyes, always his eyes, filled with jubilant sunlight one moment and lost in despair the next.
Adagio remembered it all at once, and a gentle warmth spread from her fingertips through her numb arms.
Sunburst was still talking, and the winds were still howling, but Adagio couldn’t hear. She remembered his stupid jokes and his loud, drawn-out laughter that was never far behind. She remembered his excitement as he talked about his silly children’s cartoons, his roleplay, and his books. The unfinished, slightly grainy tarts he had made and his relief when told they were good. The watery shine in his eyes as Adagio kissed him at the aquarium. And just before that, the sound of him grunting behind her, demanding that Adagio tell him the truth just once, to be honest and moan his name. She thought of their first night and the look on his face when she opened her door for him and how he stayed the next morning to make her breakfast.
A hot tear rolled down Adagio’s cheek as she rose to her feet.
He could be dying in those caves. Captured and drained due to Starlight Glimmer’s incompetence or taken advantage of due to his gentle heart.
That gentle heart that was the only reason he could be bothered to associate with Adagio after all she’d done.
Adagio felt her heart sink, but she couldn’t get distracted now. Pink flames flickered along her arms, twisting and curving like solar flares as they traveled upward to her chest.
Sunburst yelped. It was suddenly cold.
Focus!
His hand stroking her hair, holding her hand, grabbing her ass. His lips. Horns and flame. His mark, floating above a hand wreathed in pink and red. The feeling of his arms around Adagio. His lips on her neck.
The sight of him serenading her with a cheap microphone in his hand as every eye in a little bar fell on the two of them.
The sparking pink flame sank into Adagio’s chest, and ignited. 
It was not the roaring red flames of hell’s own passion, but the flickering, certain heat of a fireplace.
In Adagio’s head, a distant, cruel voice cursed her for her weakness, screamed for her not to catch, not to be set ablaze, but Adagio couldn’t hear it over the song that slipped between her lips.
“In every heart, there is a room…
A sanctuary safe and strong.
To heal the wounds of lovers past…
Until a new one comes along.”
Adagio sang, and the snow blushed and melted into a pink pond that rose around her and Sunburst, forming a bubbling dome that held strong against the blizzard. 
The snow kept coming, but it steamed against the bubbling shield, which filled with warm steam. 
Adagio opened her eyes.
“I don’t…what is this spell? I’ve never seen a forcefield like this.” Adagio said.
“I have.” Sunburst said.
“Where?” Adagio said, distantly.
“In a book from Equestria. It’s a school of magic that isn’t especially well studied or understood. The last time it was used was in Canterlot, during a changeling invasion.”
“It feels like he’s here with me. Like he’s holding me. This isn’t right.”
The bubble of steaming pink water wavered. Sunburst flinched as a few hailstones fell against the bubble, nearly perforating it.
“Wait wait wait wait, this is good!” Sunburst stammered.
“Sunburst?” Adagio whimpered.
“Adagio, we have a plan, remember? With this power, we can navigate the blizzard, and maybe you can sniff out the source of Minuette’s power!”
“This isn’t me.”
“Adagio, I know this is frightening and strange, but you’ve held this power before. Remember when you fought Chrysalis?”
“This isn’t the same as then. This isn’t…what I took from you was conflicted and a bit messy. This isn’t that. This is…it’s easy. It’s warm, and simple. This isn’t me.” Adagio said. Tears were flowing from her cheeks. 
The bubble shimmered and shook. The battering from the ice outside didn’t let up, the hailstones rebounding off the pink shield like a storm of drumbeats.
“Adagio, listen to me. You have to reach out through the shield and try to sense Minuette’s energy. Do you think you can do that?”
“I can’t. I can’t think of anything but him. Oh gods, Sunburst. What did he do to me? I thought I was acclimating to his power. I thought I was ready. I need to get this out of me!”
The bubble shrank.
“Adagio, take a deep breath. If you can’t find Minuette’s power source, I’ll look for it while you fight! I know you can do this!”
“GET IT OUT!” Adagio screamed.
The mountain shook. A blazing pillar of pink flame ignited the sky, burning a hole in the snowy cloud cover.
At its origin point, Adagio knelt, arms around herself, hands on her shoulders as she shivered. Sunburst stood next to her, an expression of concerned confusion clear on his face.
“Adagio, it’s okay. You’re okay. Buck’s mana isn’t-”
“This is a nightmare! This isn’t how it was supposed to be!” Adagio said, tears on her face.
“It’s not like that, Adagio, I know this is scary, but you can take control of this. You just did!” Sunburst reached out to touch Adagio on the shoulder, but she snapped to her feet and raised her sword at him.
“DON’T TOUCH ME! You don’t understand! They need Adagio Dazzle, and Adagio Dazzle isn’t this simpering, heartsick ninny!”
Somewhere in the snowy valley, a gentle tone rang.
“Who? What are you talking about?”
“Aria and Sonata! They need me! If I change, if I’m not the leader that they need, they’ll never come back!” Adagio shouted.
“Adagio, that’s not true. If they love you, they won’t just abandon you!”
“WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW!?” Adagio’s eyes gleamed red. “You could never understand! You don’t know what it means to be abandoned! You don’t know what it means to lose everything!”
The snow beyond the dirt they stood in shifted slowly, drifting away from them. 
“Ooh! Is it story time? Did you lose somebody important? Or maybe you’re about to!? Fun!”
Minuette rose from the snow, piece by piece. Her torso had been separated from her body at the waist, both of her arms were in a few sections, and the top of her head was split right below the ears.
The unicorn horn had returned to her forehead with a pair of equine ears.
Despite being disembodied and lacking a lower jaw, Minuette’s cheery voice giggled as her parts floated through the air, each covered in a sheen of ice. 
“Oh, will you just lay down and die, you disgusting little mongrel!?” Adagio snarled. Sunburst cowered behind her, watching carefully as Minuette’s head floated around like a drunken dragonfly.
“Is it your little boy toy? Are you all angy because he’s super done with you?”
“Be quiet!” Adagio said.
A hand encased in a sharp blade of ice darted at Adagio’s throat, but she deflected its flurry of strikes with calculated precision.
Adagio yelped as a cold, stinging pain tore across her thigh. Minuette’s other hand was slashing and stabbing at her.
“No way! We’re like twinsies! Here; since you’ve been blabbing about your feelings and junk, I’ll tell you a little about myself! Once upon a time!” Minuette said.
“Shut up!” Adagio screamed, fighting frantically against the onslaught of frozen death.
"She's manipulating the ice to move her body!" Sunburst said.
“Once upon a time there were six little girls who were the best of buddies!” Minuette said.
As Minuette spoke, the snowfield sculpted itself into statues of ice, each one resembling a human girl.
“There was the smart one!”
A somewhat familiar girl with large spectacles and her hair in a bun appeared, examining a beaker with vigor.
“The sweet one and the skittish one!” Two girls with nearly identical curly hairstyles emerged from the ice, one smiling and the other cringing.
“The talented one!” A slender girl with feathery hair, plucking a lyre.
“The edgy one!” A corpulent girl with thick eyebrows appeared, the glasses on her frowning face pointed down at a book in her hand.
“Is that…?” Adagio mumbled.
“And me! The loud one!” Minuette cheered. For a moment, her head, arms and torso came together as she posed with the statues as if it were a photo op.
A strangled cry came from behind Adagio. She turned to see Minuette’s legs crushing Sunburst's neck.
“Sunburst!” Adagio brought her blade around, intent to hack the attacking limbs off, but as one leg tightened around Sunburst’s throat, the other kicked forward with a spike of ice at the heel, deflecting Adagio’s strike.
“These six girls were totally inseparable for a long time! Then one day, the smart one got a note that she’d been accepted to a super prestigious school with a big, dumb reputation! All the other girls were super happy, but they knew it meant they wouldn’t see her anymore if they went to different schools, so they made a study group so they could nail the entrance exam together!”
Minuette’s hand flew off once more, slashing a line of pain across Adagio’s back as she tried to free Sunburst.
“Sunburst, the stone! Use the stone!” Adagio barked.
Sunburst reached for his bag frantically as the grip around his neck tightened.
“And you know, it’s the silliest thing! When they all worked together, it seemed like they could do anything! But they were wrong~! Everybody got into the fancy school! Everybody but the loud one!” Minuette said with a smile.
“I have had enough of your prattling!” Adagio brandished her sword with a flourish, and the snow melted into a tendril of water that warped around the blade.
Adagio swung the tendril around like a whip, trying to remember Sonata’s particular form. 
It lashed at Minuette, but her skull popped off her bottom jaw, letting the attack sail harmlessly through the space between.
“Whoopsie! Missed me again! So, everybody made it into the school but the loud one, because the loud one was poor and the school was expensive! The smart one suggested a bake sale or something, but that wouldn’t be enough for four years of super expensive, premium schooling, so the loud one had to go to a cruddy public school in the city that no one cared about! She got to watch all her friends go to a fancy school with fancy uniforms while she stayed in the gutter! Oh, they said nothing would break them up, that they would still be friends, but one by one, all of the girls started to drift apart!” Minuette said.
The ice sculptures slid through the snow, moving to form a rough circle around Sunburst and Adagio, whose lashing strikes grew more frantic with each passing second.
Sunburst grabbed his bag and started rooting around, but the legs leapt from his neck, taking the bag’s strap with them. 
Somewhere nearby, Sunburst heard a slight ringing noise.
“Where is that coming from?” Sunburst gasped as the legs kicked the bag away, then sprinted at him again.
“The talented one didn’t like the music department at the fancy school, so she transferred to a nice one in the suburbs! She made a new friend; a best friend apparently, and then she was gone!”
Minuette laughed, her head and torso lazily drifting out of Adagio’s reach. The statue of the lyre-carrying girl moved in front of Adagio and was lashed in half as the siren charged.
“The smart one got wrapped up in some crazy triathlon thing and almost destroyed another school! I think she transferred over there too, but she never called the loud one after that!”
The bun-haired statue moved to intercept Adagio, who pierced it with the tendril of water and ran past as it crumbled.
“The school made everybody compete, and the edgy one didn’t like it, so after a couple of semesters, she dropped out to be home schooled!”
The familiar, frowning statue fell apart as Adagio came screaming at Minuette, eyes glowing, teeth sharpening.
“Get back here!” Adagio snarled.
The two curly haired statues skidded in front of Adagio.
“The sweet one and the skittish one hung out with the loud one on the weekends, all the way up to college! But then one day, they both died! In a car crash!”
The statues exploded into smithereens, kicking up a cold, misty haze.
“Where are you? Where are you!?” Adagio screamed.
“Adagio! Adagio, you have to get out of there! Follow my voice!” Sunburst shouted from somewhere nearby, but he was suddenly muffled.
“See, the loud one went to the funeral. It was snowy and dark, but she was almost excited to see her friends again. She thought that this would be sort of a good thing! It was super sad, but at least they’d have each other, right? So she waited, and waited, and waited some more! And you know what happened?”
“Sunburst? I can’t see!” Adagio said, trudging through the frigid mist. The comforting cold was biting into her again, creeping into her chest.
“None of them showed up.” Minuette said, right next to Adagio’s ear.
Adagio whirled around, but found nothing but empty air.
“So the loud one laughed. She laughed, and she laughed until tears ran down her face. And then, one day, all of a sudden she smiled, and there was nothing behind it!” Minuette said.
Adagio shuddered and saw a pair of figures in the mist. She ran toward them. 
“See, the moral of the story, my fishy, bitchy friend is this! Don’t ever hold on to people, because sooner or later, they’re gonna leave you!”
It was Aria and Sonata. Their icy faces were sculpted into a look of total contempt. Beyond them, Adagio saw a statue of Buck, turned away and retreating into the distance.
She reached out, and the statues crumbled.
Sunburst scrambled through the snow, wrestling with the attacking legs as he dragged himself to his bag. He struggled and flailed until the changeling stone was in his hand. He touched it to Minuette’s legs and they fell to the ground, lifeless once more.
Minuette twitched in sudden pain, but her smile didn’t let up.
“But wait, we know all about you! You’re a user! You use people until you can’t anymore, and then you throw them away! How long until you throw away your big, cuddly boytoy? Is it soon? I bet it’s soon!” Minuette giggled. 
“SHUT UP! SHUT YOUR WRETCHED, SEVERED MOUTH!” Adagio screamed, lashing out with her rapier, only for Minuette to catch it with a blade of ice.
Adagio tried to wrench her sword free, but the ice crept along its length, sticking it fast.
“And he knows that too, doesn’t he? Is that why you’re so bummed? Is he finally sick of you and your games? I guess it’s fine, right? It’s not like you ever actually cared about him!”
“SHUT UP!” Adagio screamed.
“Adagio, no!” Sunburst shouted.
Adagio’s fist came around and connected with Minuette’s face, which didn’t budge in the slightest.
“Whoops! What was it you were saying before? That you’re gonna drain me dry? Well, come on then! Have a little sip!”
Minuette’s horn flashed with a bluish black light, which blasted into Adagio’s mouth like a torrent of oil.
Adagio’s scream became a shuddering gargle as the dark, abyssal magic flooded her throat. It was like the ocean was being forced into her body, freezing and shattering every thought and emotion until there was nothing but cold, unfeeling hate. 
Hatred for this world, hatred for her enemies, and hatred for herself.
It was frigid and isolating and safe.
Home.
Minuette’s assault ceased, and Adagio fell to her knees, her heart freezing over.
“Why do I always push away the people that try to care for me? Am I broken? Was I always broken?”
“Yes…but its okay. My master is the best at fixing broken things.” Minuette said.
“They find me, they help me, and I use them until I can’t. They…they try to hold me close, try to help me and then I abandon them. It’s the same, every time. Maybe they were right to leave. Maybe its better if I’m alone. I’m a monster. Monsters don’t change.” Adagio said.
"Why don't you come with me?  He can give you a purpose. He'll put a smile on your face, and you'll never have to feel this hurt again."
Adagio’s color faded. Her soft yellow skin and bright orange hair went dull and grey. Her quivering lips turned up in an empty smile.
A note rang out, quiet and nearby. Sunburst looked up and saw Minuette’s disembodied hand floating above. It was holding something. Sunburst had to squint to see it.
It was a bell. 
A bronze bell with some strange runes carved into it.
The same bluish-black mana that shimmered on Minuette’s horn came streaming out of Adagio and into the floating bell.
“Adagio! Adagio, listen to me! You’re not alone! I know you’re scared that Buck might change you- that any of us might change you, but change isn’t always bad! People are always changing! They learn and they grow and they find good people to help them along! You’ve done some awful things, but that doesn’t mean you have to be an awful person! I know you’re not!” Sunburst said.
“And that’s enough outta you!” Minuette rolled her eyes. 
The chime rang again, and the snow around Sunburst rose as a wave and battered him down, freezing him to the ground.
“Adagio, I know you’re scared of Buck’s power, but I also know you want to see what he can become with it! That’s not the kind of feeling a monster would have!”
“Sunburst?” Adagio whimpered.
The snow tried to muffle Sunburst, but he thrashed his head around, shouting through his chattering teeth.
“I told you I had a theory, right? Haven’t you wondered why Buck’s mana is so difficult to control? Why it swaps between two signatures? You told him that his main emotion is passion, and that’s true, but there’s another source of power in him! The same one you’ve been struggling with since you met!”
“What? What is this? What are you talking about? Shut up!”  Minuette said.
Sunburst muttered a brief incantation, and the snow around him flew away in a shimmering orange aura, only to come grabbing at his ankles to trip him up. His face smacked into the ground, but even with a bleeding nose, he kept trying to crawl to Adagio, to speak with her and be there for her.
“I don’t understand it, Sunburst. It’s never made any sense.” Adagio said, staring off into the distance.
“It’s love, Adagio! Buck’s pink mana is filled with his love! His love for me as a brother! His love for Scootaloo as a friend! And his love for you! He wants to love you so badly, it surges into you every time you touch! And that’s why he’s so angry, because all he wants is for you to love him back!”
Adagio’s eyes went wide. Her heartbeat suddenly kicked up, almost painfully hammering in her chest.
She was on that wretched bus into the city again, in pain, upset and exhausted. And then he was there, sitting next to her, singing to her.
His heat warming her as he protected her from the noise.
“His power? So for me to use it, I have to…Oh.” 
Warm tears pooled in the corners of Adagio’s eyes, spilling down her cheeks. The color returned to her form, and she smiled genuinely and gently.
“I’ve been a fool. I knew it all along, I must have. I just couldn’t accept it.” 
“What the heck? Get back down!” Minuette said.
Power gathered at the tip of her horn and fired out as a stream of darkness, but a sudden crackle of pink fire intercepted the spell. A blanket of warmth settled over Adagio, shielding her from the cold hatred.
“I finally understand. His love is like a flame. Passion is the fuel that fans it.” Adagio said, eyes glowing pink. A pair of ears popped from the top of her head, and purple fins extended from her back.
“Uh-oh.” Minuette said. She raised a hand, and a volley of icy spears rose from the snow.
“How does that song go? If I fall in love…it will be forever.” Adagio said.
“No, no, no! None of that!” Minuette said. The spears flew.
“Or I’ll never fall in love~!” Adagio said.
A blast of pink flame erupted from Adagio's whole body as she crooned, engulfing Minuette in a blazing inferno. As Adagio pressed the note, she outstretched her hand to direct the song.
“OOOOHHHH THIS REALLY ACTUALLY HURTS! EEEEEAAAAAGH!” Minuette screamed like she’d been locked in a furnace, thrashing and rolling on the ground.
Adagio grabbed at her own wrist, sweat pooling on her forehead. The pink flames licked up her arm and into her hair, threatening to swallow her up at any moment.
“Sunburst, I can’t control it!” Adagio said.
“That’s okay! That’s okay! You don’t control it!”
“What do you mean I don’t control it!?”
“It’s love! You just have to trust it and let it do its thing!”
“How do you know it won’t burn me to a crisp!?”
“I don’t know!”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW!?”
The flames swelled. The heat was unbearable. Adagio’s heartbeat got faster and faster, so fast it shook her chest.
“It’s going to be okay, Adagio! I’m your friend, remember? Whatever happens, I’m here! I’ll help you through it!” Sunburst said.
“The stone! Touch me with the changeling stone before I burn up!” Adagio said. Her hair had caught ablaze, twisting with pink fury.
“I don’t know if that’s a-”
“NOW!” Adagio screeched.
Sunburst ran up and lowered the changeling stone around Adagio’s neck. He shut his eyes, expecting to be toasted, but though the flames rolled over his body, he was not burned in the slightest. 
The second the stone touched Adagio’s breast, the flames wavered, sparking and bursting like fireworks. The changeling stone shook and cracked, and Adagio gritted her teeth until the flames finally guttered out. 
When the smoke cleared, Minuette was charred to a crisp.
“Well…that put a smile on my face.” Adagio said.
A pillar of obscene orange and black light engulfed the zombies’ form, signaled by a chorus of unearthly wails. It howled  with a senseless fury, then thinned and vanished, leaving nothing but a scorch mark on the ground.
With her foe defeated and departed, Adagio finally slumped to the ground, exhausted.
“Adagio, are you alright?” Sunburst said. 
“Do I look alright?” Adagio snarled.
She was covered in bloody scratches and slashes. The hoodie she had worn; Buck’s hoodie was tattered, and her chest was heaving as if she’d just run a marathon. 
“Okay, dumb question. Hold on. I’ve got you!” Sunburst said, reaching into his bag.
“Get this thing off me. It’s strangling my mana.” Adagio wheezed.
Sunburst quickly removed the changeling stone necklace and dropped it to the ground.
He moved with the speed and care of a nurse, producing a piece of emergency quartz and gently reciting an incantation over Adagio’s body.
“I’m going to ask you not to get all banged up again. I’ve only got the one piece of quartz left.” Sunburst said.
Adagio didn’t say anything. She lay face down in the snow, shaking.
“Adagio? Are you crying?” Sunburst said.
“This isn’t me. This can’t be me. They’ll never accept me like this.” Adagio said.
“What are you talking about?” Sunburst said.
“My sisters won’t follow anything less than the perfect monster. Adagio Dazzle is control and precision, poise and power.” Adagio said.
A gentle yellow light twinkled across Adagio’s wounds, which began to knit back together.
“I think Adagio Dazzle needs to rest up a bit before we even consider storming the hive.” Sunburst said.
He tried to meet Adagio’s eye, but she seemed lost in her thoughts.
“I’m not supposed to make mistakes like this, Sunburst. What am I supposed to do now? He hates me.”
“No, Adagio, no he doesn’t. He’s just wounded right now. You need to give him some time to think things through.”
“Do you think he’ll forgive me?” Adagio sniffed.
“I don’t know. What I do know is that if you feel the way I think you do, you need to tell him.”
“But he’s in love with a stupid, small-minded human girl!” Adagio sobbed.
“He has a big heart, Adagio. There’s room for you in it, but only if you tell him how you feel.”
“Why would I do that if he won’t come back?”
“Because if you don’t, you’ll spend the rest of your life wishing you had.”
“That’s impeccably harsh, Sunburst.” Adagio said.
“That’s tough love.” Sunburst said, but then his head snapped back as a dark, hole-filled foot connected with it.
“That’s pathetic.” Queen Chrysalis said.
Sunburst, his bag, and a single piece of quartz lay sprawled out in the snow, motionless.
Chrysalis towered over Adagio's prone form, dark ashen skin gleaming in the light coming through the hole in the clouds. She was flanked by a small squad of changelings, who at a wave of her hand coughed up a round of phlegmy slime that pasted Adagio to the ground.
“You finally learn to properly harness that fool’s energy and you have to go and spoil it with touchy-feely nonsense. You disgust me. I can’t believe I ever considered you a threat.” Chrysalis said.
“I’m going to rip your wings off and make your children watch.” Adagio snarled.
“Gag her. I’m tired of hearing her talk.” Chrysalis smiled.
A wad of slime-covered Adagio’s mouth, leaving the siren to do nothing but seethe as the changelings approached her.
“That was surprisingly easy. Let’s move these little morsels to the dining room. And put out the nice plates. We have two other guests to attend to.” Chrysalis said.
The drones grabbed Adagio by the hair and began dragging her thoughtlessly through the snow.
Adagio tasted a sudden rush of grim determination, and before any of the changelings could respond, Sunburst was muttering and clutching his last bit of quartz.
“What are you doing!? Stop him!” Chrysalis barked.
“Star Swirl’s Instant Ingress!” Sunburst shouted.
In a flash of yellow light, Adagio disappeared.
Chrysalis grabbed Sunburst by the collar of his cape and snarled in his face.
“You little worm! Where did you send her!?”
“Heh…no rest for the wizardly, huh?” Sunburst smiled and then promptly passed out. Chrysalis dropped him to the ground with a sneer.
That sneer changed to a curious glance, and then a dastardly grin as the Queen of the Changeling’s gaze fell on a number of treasures that lay before her. 
A dark, leatherbound book, a familiar-looking stone on a thin chord, and perhaps most elusive of all, a snatched tuft of curly orange hair in her minion's hand.
“You two, take this one to the kitchen. Wait.” Chrysalis plucked a hair from Sunbursts’ goatee. “Go.”
“The rest of you go and put the hive on high alert. I’ll be along shortly.”
High above in a circle of summer sky that had been burned into the gloomy clouds, a tear in reality shuddered and spread. It went entirely unnoticed as Queen Chrysalis looked over her loot and started to scheme.
“This day might be perfect after all.”





A few hours previous, Buck and Starlight Glimmer walked in lockstep through the canterlot caves, their only light source a red orb of glowing mana bobbing just above Buck’s finger.
Starlight squinted into the darkness just ahead, an earthen spear serving as a walking stick in one hand.
“Hrrnnngh…” Buck grumbled. The light twitched.
“What are you doing now?” Starlight said.
“I’m tryna see if I can make this thing float over my head like a plumbob. My arm’s fallin’ asleep.” Buck said.
The orb of light moved slightly and shook with effort as Buck strained.
“Don’t do that. That’s stupid.” Starlight said.
“Why? What’s stupid about that?” Buck said.
“You’ll make yourself an easier target. God, I wish I was trapped in here with Sunburst.” Starlight said.
“Yeah, me too. If he was here I’d ask him just what the fuck he sees in you.” Buck chuckled.
The cave opened up unto a corridor with several paths. There had been a wooden sign in the middle, but it was destroyed.
Starlight lifted her sensing stone and found that the needle was wiggling to and fro.
“Oh, brilliant.” Starlight groaned.
“Well, that sucks. You wanna flip a coin?” Buck said.
Starlight tensed as she heard a rustling sound, but frowned when she realized it was coming from Buck.
“There’s six paths in here, no I don’t want to flip a coin!” Starlight said.
“How ‘bout a d6? Think I got some dice in one’a these pockets.” Buck said with a full mouth.
“No! What are you eating back there?”
“Trail mix.”
“Why did you bring trail mix!?”
“Thought we were gonna be hikin’ a mountain, for real for real. I was kinda right, since we’re hikin’ under it instead’a over it.”
“That’s…whatever Buck.”
“You want some?”
“No Buck, I don’t want a sweaty handful of trail mix, especially not from you. Did you bring anything that's actually useful?”
"Lemme see here." Buck said, going through his pockets. "I got...my wallet, my house keys...a condom, a bubble gum flavored dum dum, and my book of yo mama jokes."
"So no, then. You're about as useful as ever."
"Wow. Are you always this flirty or am I special?”
“Ugh, are you going to be like this for the whole mission?”
“Pretty much, yeah. I’m havin’ fun.”
“Well, stop it!”
The cave chirped.
“Light, behind.” Starlight said, her grip tightening on the spear.
Buck pointed the red orb back the way they came. For a few seconds he squinted into the darkness. Nothing moved.
“See? We’ve got this! No problem.” Buck said. He turned to gesture at Starlight, illuminating the dark space behind her and the several sets of eyes within it.
“Oh, sweet Christmas.” Buck said.
Starlight didn’t turn around. She reached into her pocket and produced her last bit of quartz as the changelings buzzed behind her.
“This day is going to be awful.” Starlight groaned.
> Chapter 33 - Fuck You (Lily Allen)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was still Tuesday, but earlier on. 
Before Sunburst and Adagio fought for their lives out in the summer snow, Buck and Starlight Glimmer fought for every inch of progress in the Everfree Caves below.
Starlight had a glowing spear of stone in her hand; the only thing between her and a squad of marauding changeling drones. They skittered across the walls, heedless of the disguises they took. At the moment, most of them were Sunburst, but some of them were Buck and Adagio.
“We need to punch through! If we don't keep moving, we'll be overrun!” Starlight said.
“Right!” Buck grunted, his back against Starlight’s as he struggled to hold their flank. 
Starlight’s spear pierced a drone in the side, and it shifted from Sunburst’s placid smile to its dark grey-skinned, pale blue-eyed form, thrashing on the ground, trying to stop the slime oozing from the hole in its side. It was dead in seconds. 
Good, Starlight thought. Serves it right for taking the face of her favorite person in the world.
“One good hit will take them down! As long as we stick together, we’ll make it through!” Starlight said.
“Right, right, that’s a good point! But why are you sayin’ that to him!?” Buck said.
Starlight turned and saw Buck on the ground several paces away, struggling to wrestle his way out of the grasp of three Sunbursts. Exclamations written red in the air orbited around his head as he thrashed.
The Buck at Starlight’s back hissed and lunged at her throat.
“GAAAH!” Starlight screamed. The drone's face squished like raw dough beneath her fist, splattering slime onto the cave wall as Starlight lowered her spear and charged. 
Another changeling went down, then another, but they were each replaced by two more.
“Sorry bro! Sorry!” Buck said, punching and flailing with wild abandon.
His best friend backed away, holding his face and hissing in pain as Buck fought his way to his feet.
“We can’t get separated down here!” Starlight shouted through the din.
“I got it, I got it!” Buck said. 
He scrambled through the crowd, trying to get back to Starlight, every punch knocking a changeling to the ground. His technique was clumsy, but he had strong arms and a desperate desire to avoid getting strung up in a cocoon. It would have to be enough. 
A brush against his shoulder, another changeling grabbing at him. Buck’s flailing elbow connected with something squishy, then he spun on his heels. His fist stopped short.
It was Ditzy Doo, in the sexy blue dress she had worn on their date to the jazz club. Her eyes shone like yellow garnets in the pale blue light of Starlight’s thrusting spear. They were wonderfully, beautifully off-center, gleaming just above a small, fragile smile.
She was weeping, touching a welt that Buck must have left on her cheek just now.
“My Buck?” Ditzy Doo said.
Buck’s heart skipped a beat, and all the heat drained out of his chest. Words started falling out of his mouth before he could think.
“No, no, no, Muffin, I didn’t mean that!”
Ditzy Doo smiled through her tear and took a step forward.
Being high in a life-or-death situation wasn’t enough to distract him. Nothing could be enough. The ache of missing her and the shame of her fear of him dropped onto Buck’s shoulders and froze him on the spot.
Ditzy lifted her arms, ready to embrace Buck, then shuddered as Starlight’s spear punched through her chest.
“SSSSGAAAGH!” The changeling squealed in agony as it was tossed to the floor. It frantically kicked its hole-filled legs until its flailing slowed to a twitching, mucus-spraying stop.
Buck reached up slowly to wipe his face. His hand came away wet, but he couldn’t tell if it was slime or tears.
A howl shuddered him as another drone was felled.
“Buck, focus! We need attack spells! Tell me Adagio taught you something useful!” Starlight said.
“I don’t…I don’t think I can do this.” Buck said, but it wasn’t what he thought. 
He thought, over and over, it’s not her. It’s not her, and neither is that one, or that one, or that one.
“Then give me some mana!” Starlight said.
Buck turned away, mumbling, only to see Ditzy Doo, with her shining candle eyes and her heavy breasts and that same incredibly sweet smile repeated all over the walls around him, rushing toward him. His fists felt like solid concrete. Too heavy to lift. 	
“I can’t do this.” Buck whimpered.
“Fine. Fine! I get it, just get down and close your eyes!” Starlight said. 
In the darkness behind his eyelids, Buck felt a familiar, peculiar sensation, not unlike getting his blood drawn, but without the prick. 
“What’re you doing?” Buck said.
“Don’t look; this could get messy!”
There was a blast of scorching heat. The changelings screamed, and then there was nothing but the sound of them scuttling away down the corridors.
Buck had dropped into a crouch, hands over his head. When he looked up, he saw death all around him.
Ashen, twitching changeling bodies lying in standing pools of their own mucus. In this light, they reminded Buck of another time he was surrounded by wet bodies, and he felt a familiar shudder twitch through him.
Starlight waved away the pink smoke coming off her hand, then checked the sensing stone in her pocket. 
It pointed in a direction; Buck wasn’t sure which. His mind was racing, a confusion of pink questions and red traumas scribbling through the air around his head.
“Okay…can I be the first person to say that this shit is really disturbing?” Buck said.
“Obviously. Are you hurt at all?” Starlight said.
“I mean, not physically, no. But emotionally, I’m-”
“If you’re about to say anything other than ‘ready to get this done’, just save it.” Starlight snapped. Her breath was still coming out fast, but as she leaned on her spear, it seemed to slow down. “When I ask for your energy, I mean I need it now. I shouldn’t have to drag it out of you.”
“But no pressure,” Buck said, finally rising to his feet.
“This is a combat situation. That means if you stop to think; if you hesitate for even a second, you’re dead. So don’t think about it; just do what you have to do.”
“They’re like a buncha starving hyenas with human faces. We shouldn’t be fightin’ ‘em; we should be feedin’ ‘em. Something about all'a this seems real fucked up, philosophically speaking.”
“They’re evil, Buck. Don’t sympathize with them.” Starlight said.
Buck held up a finger.
“Don’t empathize with them either!”
“I mean, I’ll do what I gotta, for self-defense, right? But killin' them just doesn’t feel good in my guts.” Buck said.
“We can’t afford to go soft on them, and you especially can’t afford to sit around pontificating!” Starlight said.
“Damn, that’s like most of what I do as a writer.” Buck said.
“You’re not a writer today. Today, you’re a hero. You’re here to fight for people that can’t fight for themselves, no matter the cost.” Starlight said.
“That don’t sound like a hero to me,” Buck said.
“What?”
“Fighting for a cause? That’s not what heroes do. What you’re describin’ is a soldier.”
“How is that any different?”
“Well, my Dad–he fought back in ‘Nam–my Dad used to say that-”
“Nevermind, I don’t care! You’re a mercenary today. There. You have one job, and I need you to do it; otherwise, this whole mission is going to go up in flames.” Starlight said, holding her glowing spear like a walking stick. 
The shadows in the cavern swiveled away, revealing a corridor that led north. She immediately started down it, not bothering to check if Buck was behind her.
“Do you think they eat? Food, I mean?” Buck said. He tried to bury the image of Ditzy Doo coughing up slime and keeling over from his mind. He failed, but that thought was being swarmed by a variety of questions about changelings and their circumstances.
“No! Whatever you’re about to say, forget it! We need to stay focused on getting to the hive!”
“Wait, but if the plan is to sneak in, how’re we supposed to do that if they already-”
“This isn’t a heist anymore; it’s a siege. The goal is the same, it’s just going to be harder than we thought.” Starlight grumbled.
“Okay, but how do we-”
“Changelings are frail, so with a strong enough offense, we can cut right through them and break into the hive. So, I know you’re having feelings right now, but I need you to get your act together.”
Buck clapped his hands in front of his chest, shut his eyes, and took a deep breath.
“It’s just a job, Buck. You’re playin’ a role. It's just customer service.” Buck muttered. He opened his eyes and saw the blue light receding into the darkness. Running to catch up, Buck came to a halt as Starlight stopped short. The tunnel she had picked ended at a wall, so she turned around and retraced her steps. 
“If we’re on the right track already, what’s the rush?”
“We need to keep moving. Chances are, the plan is to wear us down little by little until we can’t fight anymore, which will be soon, because I just used my last quartz on Mold Earth and Light.”
“You sound pissed. You doin’ alright?”
“No, I am not ‘doin’ alright’, Buck. I am tired, out of components, and the person who was supposed to be our trump card has decided suddenly that he’s a pacifist!”
“Okay, well, I’m not a pacifist, I just don’t like to hurt folks if I can help it.”
“Changelings are not ‘folks’, Buck! They’re evil emotion draining vampires from another dimension.”
“Yeah, well, so’s Adagio, and even though she’s a fucking problem sometimes, she ain’t all bad.”
“Strong disagree. Aren’t you two having a fight right now? Why are you defending her?”
“We’re not havin’ a fight, I’m just…keepin’ my distance. Either way, I’m sayin’ that maybe sometimes it’s okay to give folks a chance. Even mean ones, like Adagio.”
“Yes, and how is that working out for you?” Starlight turned to Buck, gritting her teeth. The cyan glow from her spear flickered and then went out completely. 
“Oops. One sec.” Buck said. 
A pair of fingers snapped in the darkness, and an orb of red light ignited, floating above Buck’s hand. 
This cavern came to a stop as well, so the pair doubled back and chose a third route.
“Okay, follow-up question. Why don’t you pull some from the changelings?”
“Their mana is horrible and rotten. It makes me feel like I’ve been starving for weeks. I don’t trust it.”
“You think it’ll mess with your head?”
“...yes.”
“And you’re sure you can use mine and not go nuts? I heard that didn't go great at the ren faire.”
“That was different! I hadn’t had it before, and I was stressed and overwhelmed. I’m sure that if I had some now, I’d be able to handle it better. Arcana is what I’m best at, after all.”
“Alright. I trust you on that.”
“Good.”
“And that’s giving you a chance, despite what happened before. You see?”
“Ugh. That red light is grating. Can you change it to something a little less intense?”
Buck rubbed his temples for a moment.
“Here, lemmie see.”
The light flickered, then jumped between red and purple before vibrating violently and finally, with great effort, shifting to a soft light blue.
“Much better.” Starlight said.
“Ooh! I got an idea. Hold still.” Buck said with a sudden grin.
Buck prodded at Starlight’s forehead for a moment before she swatted his hand away. She thought this was some roundabout way of Buck’s to transfer mana. Instead, there was now a smiley face drawn in blue light on her forehead, and it was projecting onto the cave wall.
“There, maybe that’ll help you smile a bit more!” Buck chuckled. The fancies around his head faded away. This was easier, definitely. Just stick with this, he thought.
Starlight seethed, and the glowing emoji frowned right along with her.
“Eh, worth a shot.” Buck said. He tapped his own forehead with a thumb and left a red orb of light there. “But hey! Instant headlamps! Is that in your fancy magic books?”
“Yes. It is. It’s a spell for unicorns.”
“Nice!”
“They learn it in magic kindergarten.”
“Damn, tough crowd.” Buck snapped his fingers, and the ball of light morphed into the outline of a bobbing dick and balls on his forehead. “Hah, there, now I’m a unicorn too!”
“Ughhh…how long are you going to be like this?” Starlight said.
“A moderate high for a few hours.” Buck said.
“A few hours!?”
“Fun times, right? So don’t be down, Starlight; I’m gonna do the bard thing and keep our spirits up!” Buck said, taking a faux-heroic pose, illusory cock wobbling dramatically.
“A hate this. I hate everything about this.”
“Alright, spoilsport, here. Is this serious enough for you?” Buck said, snapping a finger. The dick folded into a glowing red ball, floating just above his finger.
“It’s a start.” Starlight said. 
“Look, I know you’re frustrated that things aren’t goin’ our way right now, and I know you’re scared of gettin’ your brain sucked by changelings, but do ya know what Pinkie Pie would say at at a time like this?”
Starlight’s expression brightened. This might actually be a good time to pick Buck’s brain about the Rainboom’s strengths. She might even be able to improve on some of their techniques!
“When I was a little kiddie and the sun was goin’ doooown~!” Buck sang, and the plunking sound of a string quartet came from nowhere to accompany him.
“You have got to be kidding.” Starlight said.
“The darkness and the shadows; they would always make me froooown~!”
“No, absolutely not, I refuse.”
“I’d hide under my pillow,
From what I thought I saw,
But Granny Pie said that wasn’t the way to deal with fears at all!”
“Buck, I’m serious; you need to be quiet…!”
“SHE SAID, PINKIE-”
Buck’s song turned into a terrified shriek as the corridor filled with a chorus of hisses. The changelings had found them again, and they were coming from all directions.





A short while later, Starlight and Buck walked through the dark of the caves, scuffed, scratched up, and sweaty. Starlight’s persistent frown had deepened, while Buck’s customer service face was starting to slip.
“Okay, so, singing attracts them. Got it.” Buck huffed.
“Yes. Obviously, singing while we’re in enemy territory is a bad idea.”
“Well, excuse the fuck outta me for tryna cheer you up, sourpuss.”
Starlight held up a hand in Buck’s face.
“Snuff out the light…!” Starlight whispered.
Buck closed his fist, and the rest light that was illuminated the corridor petered out. In the complete darkness, Buck heard the squishy drumbeat of scuttling feet go by, then disappear into the shadows.
Buck counted to ten, then snapped his fingers and lit the cave again.
“This is ridiculous. Buck, give me some of your mana so I can fight. This spear isn’t enough for groups of them.”
“Sure, sure, lemmie see….” Buck held a hand out to Starlight’s head and received a puff of smoke and a fart noise for his troubles.
“Buck, stop kidding around!”
“Notta joke, actually. Nothin’s comin’ out.”
“Well why not!?”
“Sometimes, when guys’re really stressed out, they can’t-”
“Okay, shut up, nevermind. We’re not going to be safe until you get your magic sorted out.”
“Yeah, Ditzy said the same thing.” Buck said. He had meant for it to come out snarky, but the edge in his voice dulled as he spoke.
“...just take a moment to meditate or whatever you do to get your mana flowing.”
“I don’t think I can force it, GlimGlam. It’s gotta come from the heart; gotta be real real, you know?”
“Whatever. This is a life or death situation, so figure it out.” Starlight said. “Can’t believe how poorly this mission is going…” She grumbled as they started walking again.
“Eh, I’ve worked crummier gigs. Hell, one time I worked as an elevator attendant. Learned some valuable lessons on that job.” Buck said.
“...Like what?” Starlight said.
“Some days you have your ups and downs, and some days you really get the shaft!” Buck laughed, pointing a pair of finger guns.
“You’re not funny. You were never funny.” Starlight groaned.
“I’ll be here all week!”
“I really hope not.”
“You know, you’re bein’ awful cold for someone that asked me, again and again, to come and join you in the field.”
“I wasn’t expecting you to be so…” Starlight trailed off.
“What?”
“This isn’t the impression I got when you fought at the aquarium, or the burning building. For someone that’s associated with the Rainbooms, you’re…not what I expected.”
“Glimglam, just because we’re buds and they’re sort of superheroes, that doesn’t mean I’m Superman. I’m like a Jimmy Olsen, at best.”
“I guess I’m having a hard time understanding why they would want to hang out with someone like you.”
“The fuck is that supposed to mean? We were childhood friends; I just wasn’t really part of ‘the group’.”
“I guess not. When I imagined you joining us for a mission, I guess I was under the impression you’d approach it in the way one of them would.”
“Well, lemmie think. If the Rainbooms were here, they would’a probably gotten flustered by the crazy shit going down, gotten into an argument about it before splitting off to do their own cute little things. Then they’d put their differences aside to face the bigger threat, shoot some rainbow friendship lasers and try to rehabilitate whoever was screwin’ with them.”
“Wow. From what Sunset used to tell me, that’s right on the money.”
“Oh, and they’d sing some songs about it, probably to get their shit together.”
“Okay, can we skip to the part where you get your shit together and give me some mana so I can work?”
Buck frowned and wiggled his fingers. There was a sound like a duck quacking and a little red fizzle and nothing else.
“El zilcho.” Buck shrugged.
“I get that mana transference is hard for you, but you need to focus. Lives are at stake.” Starlight said.
“How does it work for you?” Buck said.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, if magic is driven by emotion….how the fuck do you do it?”
“I draw mana from somatic components and then use that. It’s basic arcana.”
“But how do you do it, though? What emotion do you use to fire it off?”
“I…don’t. I just decide the shape and purpose of the spell, and it goes. Usually arcana spells have a bit of wind-up to them, which gets longer the more powerful the spell, but since I work with limited components, I can whip them out fairly quickly.”
“And you can just do whatever spells you want?”
“No, for spells outside of the Order/Ethereal quadrant, I need to use specific components, like the clay effigy I used to make this spear.” Starlight said.
“And you don’t feel anything when you do the spells?”
“Well, I tend to focus on how what I’m doing is necessary. How if I fail, people will be hurt or worse, and what that would mean for Canterlot.”
“So, your spell focus is necessity?”
“Duty is a better word for it. I do what’s right, because if I don’t, people will get hurt.” Starlight said.
“That’s pretty wacky, man. I wouldn’t think that kinda cold logic would work for magic, unless you were like, like a fuckin’...like a Mathemagician.”
“Math is actually quite relevant when calculating spells, from a certain perspective. Arcana spells kind of operate like a waveform, so if you think of spellcasting as more like finding a wavelength, then it follows that your mana is the energy of it, and your will provides the frequency.”
“Oh god, don’t tell me that. Makes me feel bored and queasy at the same time, like a weirdly slow rollercoaster! Or eating too much cheese.”
“...you’re still high.”
“Oh, absolutely!” Buck said. “Would you believe it helps me focus?”
“No.”
“Well, it does!”
“I’m trying to explain to you how arcana spells work and it sounds like nothing is sinking in.”
“I’m tryna figure it out, it just doesn’t make any sense to me!”
“Maybe that’s too abstract. Let me think of a metaphor. It’s like…a laser.”
“Yeah. Obviously.”
“You need to put your…focus onto a singular point and just…pull the trigger.” 
“I think my red spells are kinda like a dick.”
“What.”
“I mean, the red stuff needs stimulation and maybe some buildup, I think. It’s passion, right? So I need to care. And the pink stuff…I dunno. It only seems to work when I’m around Adagio or Ditzy, that one time.”
“Buck? Word to the wise.”
“Oh boy, here we go.”
"You shouldn’t use your pink energy. It’s been nothing but trouble so far, and if it gets out of control, it could be a disaster.”
“I know, alright? I know. I’m a walkin’ time bomb and if I pull too much of the pink stuff, I could go nuclear. I’m startin’ to develop kind of a complex about it.”
“I’m just saying that magic that depends on another person’s influence is a dangerous proposition. We’ve already seen how it can go wrong, and Adagio wants it, so it can’t be good.”
“I mean, it comes and goes as it pleases.”
“So it’s unreliable. That’s just another reason to make your red energy a priority. Look, if you’re having this much trouble, you’re probably overthinking it. Remember the equation?”
“Nope, no math! Do not make me do math, you’re makin’ me flash back to high school! I had this real fuckin’ douche for a math teacher. The cranky fuck made sophomore year hell for me.” Buck said, rubbing his temples.
“Okay, fine! What did Adagio teach you about projecting your mana!?” Starlight tried.
“Mostly that it’s real hard for me to do it since I’m in the Chaos/Telluric quadrant. The pink stuff is pretty much a fire hose when Adagio’s around, but the red stuff is different. It’s a lot more manageable.”
“So why can’t you manage it now?”
“I dunno! Maybe I’m just not in the right frame of mind! Why can’t you just pull it out of me?”
“Draining magic is tricky. The target has to be “manifesting” it before it can be drained.”
“What does that mean?”
“You have to be having an emotional response to something, or gathering your mana to cast a spell. If your mana isn’t near the surface, I can’t drain it.” Starlight said.
“Huh. So I have to be charged up with mana before you can draw on it? Oh, right, Sunburst said that, didn’t he? It’s how the cloaks are fuckin’ with people.”
“Great, so we’re on the same page. What do you do to manifest your red mana?”
“I…have to think about things that make me passionate, I guess. It’s kind of a long list.”
“Then just do that. I’ll wait.”
“Wait, I just had a thought. If I need to be charged up to have my mana drained, how the fuck is Adagio always feeding on me?”
“Buck, she’s an emotionally manipulative instigator. You do the math.”
Buck deflated. His shoulders drooped, and he slowly slid down to sit on the cold, stony floor.
“Oh.” Buck said. “Yeah. That makes sense.”
Starlight Glimmer stood there, arms crossed, trying to figure out how to salvage this situation. Her brain’s immediate answer was to panic. She pulled out her phone and found she had no signal.
“Okay, okay…what would Sunburst say in this situation? Uh…are you okay?” Starlight said.
“Whadda you think?” Buck said.
“Right. Okay.” Starlight said. “...do you want to talk about it?”
“With you? No.” Buck sighed.
Starlight counted the agonizingly awkward seconds spent in silence. 
“So are you going to-”
“Yeah! I’m going to do the thing, alright? I’m doin’ the job. Give me a goddamn second.” Buck grumbled. He crossed his legs, sitting up straight. He remembered what seemed like countless sessions in which he sat across from Adagio, pooling mana into his hands.
Buck was always a failure at direct focus. Most of the time, he focused on…everything. But when he was with Adagio, it was all too easy to let it all fall away.
Buck could always focus on Adagio.
Burned and beaten as he was, Buck found his thoughts orbiting like constellations as he tried to find a spark of passion. His anxiety over controlling his mana, his hope that Ditzy would forgive him for having it, his earnest wish to have a genuine dialogue with Adagio, and the shame he felt for letting her get under his skin again. And behind all of that, the looming deadline of his payments at the end of the month, waiting to drop out of the sky like a grand piano in a Road Runner cartoon. 
What a joke he was.
No. He couldn’t let himself fall apart here. Not in front of fucking GlimGlam and not while he still had a job to do. He could still make a difference here, he just had to try harder.
Think. Think about what gets you going. No, not Her!
Starlight watched with fascination as Buck tensed up, and then a fuzzy pink image faded into existence just above his head. At first, she saw a knight in shining plate mail, which removed its helmet to reveal a huffing, sweaty Ditzy Doo.
The image flickered, and then tendrils of flame licked from it, trailing downward to pool in Buck’s hands.
For a moment, Buck smiled, but then his hand came into frame, with a cartoon heart beating in its palm. Ditzy Doo recoiled, raising her shield.
“Buck?” Starlight said.
“I’m doin' it, I’m doin' it, don’t rush me.” Buck muttered.
And then Adagio was there, strutting like a cougar in the brush. The images wavered, the pink flames flickering red as Adagio boldly pushed past Ditzy and seemed to take Buck’s free hand. She kissed it, nuzzling her cheek against it like an affectionate kitten, all while staring at Buck with a lusty gaze.
The fireball in Buck’s hands expanded to the size of a softball. The cavern was growing warmer.
“Buck.” Starlight said, starting to sweat. A colorless aura slowly surrounded her hand.
“I’m doing it!” Buck said, shaking. 
In the background, Ditzy seemed to rush forward, but she moved in slow motion as Adagio’s hands crept down to Buck’s lap. Her eyes closed, her lips getting closer.
The image blazed downward all at once, and instead of joining the fire in Buck’s hands, it reformed as a red flaming horn on the side of his head.
The ball of fire popped rapidly like a string of firecrackers.
“Buck!” Starlight said.
“WHAT!?” Buck snarled, his eye glowing like a hot coal.
“My Buck?” Said Ditzy Doo.
Buck and Starlight looked down the corridor, and there they saw Ditzy Doo once more. In this moment, Starlight remembered how Ditzy had faced down Chrysalis with nothing but a baseball bat in her hands. This was the same outfit from that night; a roomy t-shirt, pajama shorts, and messy bedhead.
Ditzy Doo’s serene smile was all Buck could focus on. It was the same smile he had seen right at the start of summer. It was incredibly tender and completely irresistible. She could have asked him to jump out a window, and he would have only thought about it on the way down to the ground.
That beautiful smile, the one Buck had fallen in love with, was joined by another and then another.
In a flashing flare, Buck’s fireball of aura erupted into a roman candle of pink and red sparks.
Starlight didn’t hesitate. She turned and caught the erupting pink energy out of the air, and in one fluid motion, she braced herself against her spear and extended a hand.
The cave rang with the sound of a cannon going off. A flash of pink flame turned the corridor hot. When Buck finally picked himself off the floor, there were spots in his eyes.
“You…really need to sort yourself out.” Starlight said. Her eye flashed with a bit of pink light, but she violently shook her head, and it went back to normal.
“Yeah, I definitely haven’t been thinking that all week and all month and all year and all my adult life.” Buck groaned. “Did you get ’em?”
“I think so.” Starlight said.
The words had barely come out of Starlight’s mouth when a strange twinkling sound came from the corridor ahead. 	The three Ditzy Doos were on their feet again, but something was off.
From deep within Ditzy’s chest, the pink light of Buck’s mana glowed and swelled, blazing along the disguised changeling’s bodies, and suddenly, pieces of them burned away like bits of paper in a bonfire.
Beneath Ditzy’s soft grey skin, Buck saw that each of the drones had a vibrant green or orange or turquoise. In the place of one of Ditzy’s yellow eyes was a shining purple or pink or blue. Their ears extended with a sylvan curl, and on each of their heads grew an elegant curving horn. It would have all been very wondrous if the other half of their forms weren’t melting like heated gelatin, with bits of the woman that Buck loved fading in and out of the flickering pink light.
“What in the blue fuck?” Buck whimpered.
The drones launched through the air like a trio of flung arrows. Starlight’s spear came up to intercept and was knocked away so hard that it clattered against the wall. 
“Buck! Red mana, now! Right now!” Starlight said. A not-Ditzy thing was scrambling for her throat. 
Starlight was kicking with her free leg, barring the way with her spear, struggling to wrestle with the creatures, all while Buck held his hands out and tried to remember what Adagio said about mana transference. It was so easy with her, probably because she met him in the middle, but Starlight Glimmer was different.
Buck ducked around a Ditzy Doo, which failed to slow its charge, and smacked into the wall. 
Starlight blasted another one away with a jolt of pink light, but it just sprung up from the floor, grinning as it started to charge again.
Buck looked at Starlight, and all he could think was how much of a hardass she was and how tired he was. Even now, he was lost in a chaotic mix of emotions, all while staring into the hungry eyes of creatures that wanted nothing more than to drink him dry.
Another Ditzy-like creature tried to scoop Buck up in her arms, sighing softly as he scrambled away from her grasp.
“Buck, more mana, now!”
Buck’s hands sparked with pink and red and fizzled with smoke, but nothing of substance came out.
“I’m tryin’, I’m tryin’!” Buck said.
“My Buck! My Buck!” The drone howled, then yelped as Starlight punched it in the jaw.
It stumbled away, touching its cheek, just as another one came barreling past. Starlight held out a hand wreathed in a blank aura, and a small stream of pink energy went from the Ditzy to her before Starlight stabbed it in the side.
“Oh, forget it, just run!” Starlight shouted, grabbing Buck by the wrist.
Buck’s heart screeched in his chest like a rock tumbler firing up as he sprinted through the darkness. His shoulder bumped against the rocky wall as Starlight pulled him along.
The little orb of mana at his head was flickering through a confusion of different colors. Buck tried to center himself, but his dread was taking over. 
Buck knew they would catch them. Starlight was hobbling as fast as she could, he knew, but she had a limit, and she didn’t have any mana, and it was all his fault; this whole crazy situation was all his fault.
The flickering, pink-glowing things that were some sort of cross between Ditzy Doo and hungry fey creatures were on their heels, calling out senselessly in her voice, and behind them were yet more drones looking to feed and capture. He could hear their excited chittering joining in with the noise.
Buck was led around a left turn, then a right, then another left. His vision was filled with red light coming from the horn on the side of his head.
The sounds of Ditzy Doo calling out in triplicate became screams, drowning in the hissing of yet more changelings.
“Turn off your light! Turn it off now!” Starlight said.
Buck was panting too hard to rebuttal. He grimaced and tried to throw a bucket of water over the flame in his head, but the mana kept pulsing and raging. 
Calming down just wouldn’t cut it. Buck tried to think of his least favorite things.
The smell of the refrigerator leaking at work. The stuffy cigarette and piss smell of the bus. A hundred sneers from a hundred memorably terrible customers. A thousand little unpleasantries, all stacked up into a pile called “city living.”
The flame of Buck’s mana snuffed out, and then the wind was knocked out of him as Starlight arm-barred him against the cave wall.
In the dark of the caves, what seemed like a stampede of wet footsteps skittered by. Buck didn’t see the pink glow of his mana; otherwise, he and Starlight would’ve been spotted. What happened to the ones that had turned?
Buck and Starlight Glimmer waited in the dark of the cave. Buck counted the seconds, holding his wind until finally, Starlight’s bracing arm fell away, and he could breathe again.
A red orb of light illuminated the slime trails the changelings had left behind. The light pulsed quickly, unsteadily, and Buck recognized after a second that it was mimicking his heartbeat.
“That was fuckin’ close,” Buck said.
Starlight looked left and right, grasping her spear, ready to strike at anything that moved. Then she breathed out, and her ubiquitous frown returned.
“We could have taken them.” She said. And something else, certainly, but Buck was too caught up in the hypocrisy. She was the one that had said to run. Buck tried to reason at that side, explain that they were outgunned either way, but Starlight wasn’t having it.
At that point, Buck was pretty much done, too. So much so that when Starlight laid the blame on him once again, he finally gritted his teeth and remembered his Dad’s words.
A man stands his ground.
“Know what? Maybe you are the problem.”
And a few words were said, some unflattering ones, and with less swearing than what Buck said in his head, but it didn’t matter. In no time at all, Buck and Starlight Glimmer were making their feelings known as loudly as possible.
“Fuck you!” Buck shouted.
“FUCK YOU!” Starlight screamed.
When the changelings came again, or maybe it was another squad, Buck couldn’t be bothered to feel surprised. Despite his medicated state, in the back of his head, he could feel it.
He was fed up with everything.





Queen Chrysalis relished the solitude of the Everfree Mountain Range. Until today, it had made for an excellent base of operations. It was sunny, warm, and filled with natural resources, and as luck would have it, it had a veritable labyrinth beneath it. 
Truly, her current hive in the making was on track to become the seat of her new empire, but only if she could eliminate the meddlesome little obstacles that popped up both inside and out.
As the crisp mountain air rushed through her hair, Chrysalis schemed.
She would have looked very menacing if she were doing anything besides zipping through the air above the dense canopy like a drunken gnat.
After several minutes of flying in circles, a drone came to the Queen. They relayed fresh news about the invaders scuttling around in the caves, then flew off, leaving Chrysalis to engage in one of her classic pastimes. Namely, sitting around talking to herself.
“They’re not getting along, hm? And my prey is just as foolishly sentimental as ever. You think he’d learn. With the right bait, he might just run into my arms on his own.” Chrysalis said, lounging on a small cliff above the canopy.
“Me!? He’s the one pretending I barely exist!” Came a familiar voice from below.
Queen Chrysalis froze in place and slowed down her breathing, putting all her brain power into suppressing any emotional response.
She squinted down through the trees, an irritated frown on her face.
It was the Queen’s least favorite person in this world and one of the sniveling little lackeys she liked to travel with. 
That wiry male-type human was going on and on about first dates and special bonds and blah, blah, blah. Chrysalis rolled her eyes.
“He must have been a unicorn on the other side. All pretense and lectures. It would be so easy to drop rocks on them from here,” Chrysalis sighed. “At least then they would both stop their rambling and posturing.”
Adagio Dazzle was indeed doing those two things, spitting bile at the orange dullard to her side, gesturing as if her lunch had been delivered late.
“What is she so worked up about?”
As the Queen leaned her head down to hear, she picked up on the meat of the conversation. A sinister grin took over as Chrysalis decided on a plan of attack.
This plan also involved flying in circles, but not for much longer.
“The bonds of their petty kinship are already fraying at the edges. Soon enough, I’ll sever them completely.”





Back in the caves, Buck and Starlight stood among puddles of green slime. 
They had come to another somewhat open space, but the ceiling was low, and the air was muggy and stale. They were deep in the earth now, or maybe not; Buck certainly couldn’t tell. As he looked around the cavern, lit by the red glow of the improvised headlamp floating in front of his forehead, all he could see was the same confusing collection of tunnels he’d be walking through all day.
The changelings had come in force again, but despite several scrapes and bruises and a frantic off-screen fight for their lives, the pair’s focus was settled squarely on one another.
“Okay, so screaming ‘fuck you’ at each other also attracts them. Got it, got it.” Buck said.
“Fuck you.” Starlight said. She was splattered by changeling viscera, leaning on her spear to stop from falling over.
“No thanks.”
“Shut up.”
“Like a multiverse away from being my type, like holy shit.” 
“Just stop talking.”
“Nope, cain’t do that, chief. If I stop talking, I’ll start thinking.”
“Well, that would be a nice change of pace.”
“Hah, gottem. No, but seriously, where do we go next?” Buck said.
Starlight glared at him, then pulled out her sensing stone. The beam by which they had been tracking Queen Chrysalis was flipping all over the place like a compass needle in the Bermuda Triangle.
“Oh shit,” Buck said.
“...somehow, this is your fault.” Starlight said.
“I dunno. Seems a lil’ silly to think the queen would just sit around waiting for us to come after her.”
“They’re probably sending scouts back and forth, telling her exactly where we are!”
“And that’s my fault how…?”
“All we had to do was deal with any changelings that came our way. Then there would be no one to report on us.”
“Isn’t it possible that she just, I dunno, figured out how we’re tracking her?”
“No, this is definitely your fault. Now we’re going to have to retrace our steps through all this slime and try to find our way out the old-fashioned way.”
“Okay, but here’s another idea-”
“I’ve had enough of you second-guessing me! We need to get to the hive as soon as possible, which means we need to move, so march!”
“Alright, fuck this,” Buck said. He smiled, turned away, and started walking down the corridor, the orb of mana floating above his head.
“Where are you going? What are you doing?” Starlight said, scrambling after him.
“I’m done listenin’ to you. They wanna capture me, and we wanna get to the base. You can fuck off and find your own way, but I’m done hangin’ around with you. It’s bad for the soul.”
“So what, you’re just going to let them take you!?”
“I’m gonna draw ‘em here, so you might wanna get outta dodge, huh?”
“You can’t be serious.”
“The Krusty Krab pizza! Is the pizza! For you and me~!” Buck sang.
“You can’t just ignore me!”
“The Krusty Krab pizza, is the pizza! Absutive-uhly!” Buck sang louder, his voice echoing down through the tunnels. 
He started walking faster, and even though Starlight’s stride was technically longer, she struggled to keep up with her bad leg.
“No no no no no, you can’t do this! Buck! Stop it right now!”
But of course, Buck refused to listen. Starlight, for a split second, looked to the spear in her hand. Then she pulled her phone from her pocket, hoping for a miracle.
For once, she got one.
“Starlight?” Sunburst said.
“Sunburst! Oh, thank goodness. Can you talk?” Starlight said, hobbling after Buck.
“You managed to find some wifi in there? That’s amazing!” Sunburst said.
“Yes, but I probably won’t have it for long. We’re on the move. Is Adagio there?” Starlight said.
While Starlight asked Adagio for help and got basically none, Buck skipped ahead, taking in the scenery. 
He noticed something a bit odd. This stretch of tunnel was actually developed. He wasn’t sure if that was the word. The corridor was being held up by old wooden beams, which sent his thoughts wandering down a few different lines of inquiry.
Mining? No, it would be more obvious. There would be tracks for a cart, tools, and stuff. Must’ve been cut off from the touristy part of the caves, and the changelings opened it to have more routes. Did they pass by some broken boards earlier or some brickwork? God, it's stuffy down here. Still, I wonder what kinda wood they use and how they got it so far down here. If this part of the cave is developed, maybe it connects to something important. Buck rambled in his own head. 
Meanwhile, outside of it, he kept singing and doing everything he could to ignore Starlight Glimmer and her haughty bullshit. He figured that maybe if he showed her what it was like without him here, she’d get off his back.
Hell, maybe these beams would lead somewhere interesting.
“KRUSTY KRAYAYAAAB-” Buck started when suddenly a cacophonous crash overtook his voice. Buck turned around, expecting to find that there was a cave-in, which was somehow his fault. 
Instead, he saw Starlight Glimmer, her hand held out to a small crater in the wall next to her.
“That’s enough, Buck! I’m not going to let you get captured! You have no idea what you’re doing!”
“And you do?”
“Better than you! Now cut it out!” Starlight said, raising her spear.
“...are you gonna shank me with that thing?”
Starlight didn’t answer. Her eyes darted to the spear, then to Buck.
“Yeah, okay. I’m out.” Buck turned away again. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe it was better he keep his distance before shit got worst.
“I thought when we came out here, you were already done being stupid for the month, but I guess I was wrong!” Starlight said.
Buck stopped, tried to catch himself, and failed.
“Oh wow. I guess it’s true what they say: Money can't buy class.” Buck said.
“Yeah, well maybe you should think about taking some.” Starlight said.
Buck turned, chuckling.
“Ooh, almost a good one, but me and Sunburst went to the same college. Hell, we took some of the same humanities courses.”
“You didn’t finish.”
“Well, neither did Sunburst.”
“He’s an undergrad!”
“And he’s also at a different school now.”
“That’s different. He left because he wanted to study at CCU, not because he’s lazy.”
“You think I’m lazy?”
“I know you are.” Starlight hissed, glaring at Buck. 
“Yeah, pull the other one.” Buck said.
Starlight pulled the sensing stone from her pocket. Its beam was still flipping all over the place like a malfunctioning compass needle.
“Do you see this!? This is your fault!” Starlight seethed. “If you had just followed my instructions and given me enough mana to fight through the drones, we would have been at the hive already, but no, you had to mull it over and take your time and hold back your mana, and now we’re lost!” Starlight said.
“I’m not holding back my mana from you, it just doesn’t fuckin’...ugh, nevermind! Fuck you!” Buck said.
“I am so sick and tired of having to rely on you!” Starlight said, stamping a foot. 
“And I’m fuckin’ sick of you talkin’ shit even though I’m doin’ my best out here!” Buck said. 
With every word, the ball of light floating above his hand flickered like a candle’s flame.
“It’s not my fault you’re the best at being a useless screw up!”
“Bitch, I’m the only reason you can see right now! Tell me somethin’; do you try to act like a judgemental cunt all the time, or is it hereditary?”
“You did not just call me a c-word, you, you…!”
“What? What’re you gonna say?”
“You lazy, moronic, overly-trusting…horny bastard!” Starlight shouted, poking Buck in the chest. He slapped her hand away.
“Okay, I’ll take those last two, but lazy? Are you out of your fuckin’ mind? What the fuck about me is lazy!?” The flame bloomed into a fist-sized fireball.
“You barely paid attention during your basic magic lessons, and now all you can do is useless parlor tricks! You work a shitty part-time job and then complain about how you can’t meet your rent! As far as I’m concerned, the only thing you’re really good for is being a sex toy for Adagio!”
“Okay, first of all, I work a part time and articles to pay for my rent, food and loan debt!”
“So what?”
“So what!? So you lay around on my best friend’s couch doin’ fuck all for a job!”
“My job is to protect Canterlot!”
“Do you pay rent!?”
“...no.”
“So what the fuck do you know about what I have to do to make ends meet!?”
“I know from Sunburst that you’ve spent half of your magic training napping in Adagio’s bed! If that’s not lazy, I don’t know what is!”
“Okay, you know what, Starlight, you been talkin’ shit since the moment we met, and I’ve been reeeeeal patient an’ sugary, ‘cause I thought; well, you know, Sunburst likes her, so she can’t be all bad,” Buck said, turning away, making expansive gestures. “I thought if I gave it some time, I could peel back the bitch layers and find a pretty chill girl under all’a that. Come to find out, if you peel back the bitch, there’s just more bitch underneath!”
“My job is to get things done, not to be nice!”
“Yeah, ‘cause if your job was to be nice, you’d get shitcanned on day one.” Buck laughed.
“Oh, what, you think I should be like you? Letting anybody and everybody get into your orbit and then your bed?”
“I’m warnin’ you, GlimGlam. Don’t slutshame me.” Buck’s golden eyes smoldered, as did the ball of red flame over his closed fist. Despite his evident anger, Starlight Glimmer kept talking, stepping up to him, getting in his face.
“You slept with Adagio!”
“I didn’t fuckin’ know it was her the first time!”
“You kept sleeping with Adagio!”
“Yeah, well-”
“You kept playing with fire, even after you were warned what could happen; you caused a tentacled horror to attack the Canterlot boardwalk, you empowered the very changeling we’re here to stop, your friend turned into a fire-breathing menace because Adagio followed you to the ren faire, and even though you have two perfectly good magic teachers on hand, you chose to lock yourself in a room with a siren who wants to FUCK YOU TO DEATH because you refuse to learn anything the easy way!” Starlight shouted.
“Okay, wait. It’s not like I wanted any of that bad shit to happen!” Buck said.
“Ever since the moment I met you, you have done nothing but make my job more difficult, and even though you swear up and down you want nothing to do with magic and monsters, you keep getting tangled up in these situations, which someone else has to bail you out of! You want to know why I’m hard on you, Buck? It’s because I can’t tell if you actually care about protecting Canterlot, or if you’re determined to make everything harder than it has to be!”
“Giggity.” The flame diminished.
Starlight Glimmer covered her face and screamed into her hands.
“And then there’s that! When you’re not being pointlessly difficult, you refuse to take anything seriously!”
“Oh, fuck off! Silly is how I get through the work day! Why the fuck did you call me in if you didn’t want silly?”
“I called you in because I needed a hero! Like me! Like Sunset Shimmer!”
“What the fuck does Sunset have to do with anything!?”
“I’m her apprentice!”
“Yeah, and that’s somethin’ I just can’t figure out. Sunnybun’s got a temper, sure, but not like you. You were nasty from the jump. How come she didn’t teach you how to be nice?”
“She taught me how to protect people!”
“Or maybe she tried to teach you the rest, and you just wouldn’t learn?”
“Shut up! Stop talking!” Starlight snarled.
“Or what? You’ll stab me with your spear? Maybe hit me some some anime-ass beam shit? No, no, wait, I got it, you’re gonna fuck with my head using that rock you keep in your pocket! Yeah, real fuckin’ heroic there, GlimGlam.” Buck said.
Starlight paused for one horrible second, thinking that he’d figured it out, but then she caught herself.
“You…Stop calling me that!”
“Sure, when you stop callin’ me an idiot!”
“You ARE an idiot!”
The flame reignited. It was floating next to Buck’s head now. 
“You’re an idiot for letting Adagio into your life, and you’re an idiot for letting her lead you on when you have someone like Ditzy Doo waiting for you at home! She is everything you could ever need in a woman, and yet you keep letting Adagio slink into your arms, expecting her to change! She’s a manipulator, and if you don’t wise up and stop letting her in, all you’re ever going to be is a FUCKING SCREW UP that lets monsters and villains walk all over you because you’re too stupid to think with anything else besides your DICK!” 
The word ‘dick’ echoed through the caverns. 
Buck’s fists shook, but he refused to look away as Starlight Glimmer screamed in his face, and then there was nothing but a weighty, seething silence between them.
“You’re nothing like her.” Buck said it quietly.
“Excuse me?”
“You ain’t nothin’ like Sunset Shimmer. Sunset is my friend. She ain’t perfect; nobody is, but she is the closest thing I’ve ever known to the complete package. She’s kind, and she’s passionate and she truly, deeply cares about everyone around her.”
“I don’t have time to be a saint!”
“She ain’t a saint. Dad used to say that a hero is somebody who inspires and uplifts everyone around them. That’s Sunset Shimmer. Took her some time, hell; she bullied the fuck outta me for a bit, but she’s as kind and caring as they come, and every place she goes is a lil’ bit better by the time she’s gone. Because of her, I try not to write people off, because they can surprise you with their decency.”
“Adagio Dazzle doesn’t have any decency.”
“You don’t even know her.”
“I know a monster when I see it!” Starlight snarled.
“Adagio was right about you. Everything in your world has to fit into a tiny little box, because you’re too small-minded to think anything can surprise you.”
The red flame bloomed. The horn returned to the side of Buck’s face. He was seething with raw hatred.
Starlight Glimmer took a step back. She saw hell screaming silently at her from behind Buck’s right eye.
“Hold on, Buck.”
“But you’re full of shit, Starlight!" The demon snarled, flaring with fury. 
The cave shook. Something in the wall cracked.
Starlight took another step back. She gripped her spear with both hands. 
“I want to think that Sunset saw something in you, and that Sunburst saw the same thing, but all I see when I listen to you is a self-righteous, judgemental, intolerant little pissant excuse for an urban fantasy protagonist!”
“Buck, I get that you’re upset, but you’re saying things you don’t mean, and we need to-”
“No. No, fuck you! Don’t you fuckin’ gaslight me! I meant every word I said!” Buck said, his aura flaring red again. 
Another subtle crack echoed through the cavern. 
“You’re not a fuckin’ hero, Starlight! Every time there’s any kinda crisis, you spend the whole time bitchin’ about how you gotta do this and that, and you take everyone for granted! You take Sunburst for granted and you take me for granted, and when somebody doesn’t let you have your way, you get all pissy like a spoiled brat!” Buck shouted. The cave shook.
“Well, at least I’m not the idiot that shacked up with a soul-sucking monster!” Starlight said.
“STOP FUCKING CALLING HER THAT!” Buck bellowed. His face was consumed by hell’s red flames, and Starlight Glimmer felt the whole mountain shake beneath her feet.
Starlight hid her free hand behind her back. A pale gray glow slowly surrounded it, ready to catch Buck’s energy. 
“That’s what she is, and that’s what I’ll call her! Just like I’m going to call you a screw-up until you get your act together!” Starlight goaded, tensing like a coiled spring.
Buck blinked.
“Are you…? Are you fucking baiting me right now? That’s what this is, isn’t it? You’ve been baiting me the whole time!” Buck said.
“Now hold on a minute…!” Starlight flinched.
“And you have the gall–-the rakish fuckin’ audacity--to call Adagio manipulative!? When you’re down here tryna get a rise outta me to suck out my mana?”
Starlight Glimmer’s plan shattered into pieces. Her focus suddenly shifted toward the inference in Buck’s voice.
“What are you implying!?”
“I’m not implyin’ nothin’. I’m sayin’ to your face that the only difference between you and ‘dagio is that she knows how to play nice.”
*WHACK*
Suddenly Buck was down on the ground, covering his face from Starlight’s desperate flurry of blows.
“I’M NOT LIKE HER! I’M NOTHING LIKE HER!” Starlight screamed.
“Yeah, you’re way more of a BITCH!” Buck shouted.
A burning, invisible blow whacked Starlight in the face like a blazing right hook, but she just kept swinging. 
There was a low rumble through the stones. Then a much louder one. Buck and Starlight froze mid-brawl and looked at each other.
The earthen floor groaned, cracked, and finally caved in.
Two screams suddenly stopped, and then there was nothing but the rumble of shifting stones.





When people talk about falling from a height, one thing that doesn’t often get brought up is the sensation of hitting the ground. No matter how far it is to the ground, it feels like you're falling forever, and then there's a heavy blow that rattles your teeth and shakes your skull.
You feel the breath leave you, and everything just seems to shut off all at once.
It wasn’t the first time Buck had been thrown down a story or two, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last, but for the space of a dream, Buck was sure that he had died.
He was also sure, despite all the debasement he’d experienced in the public sector, that this was easily the shittiest gig he’d ever worked in Canterlot. 
Suddenly, a tiny, shocking coldness on his forehead snapped him awake. Water on his forehead. Or blood?
Then he felt the dull pain of fresh bruises forming on his back and side.
“Okay…bad news, that hurt like fuck. Good news? Not dead, so that’s pretty okay…man I wish I could go work at the spa again. Those twins would have a field day with the knots in my back.” Buck mumbled.
Buck’s eyes fluttered open and saw only darkness.
“Right. Cave.” Buck groaned, trying to gather his mana. “Shazam.”
Nothing happened. Buck shut his eyes and tried to remember his training.
“Uh…uh…fuckin’, the smell of baked bread. No? Uh, finding really weird, really specific porn. God, I need to get laid.” Buck said.
A red spark blinked. 
“Uh, uh, cheap dimestore novellas! Actually good standup comedy! The soundtrack to Diamond is Unbreakable!”
The light popped like a firecracker, bigger this time, but then it faded.
“A handful of titties!” Buck said.
The light bloomed into a crimson fireball and floated, burning in the air.
“Oh thank fuck.” Buck said. 
Then the flame drifted across the shadowy space and floated into Starlight Glimmer’s hand.
“Oh, come on!” Buck said, shaking as he struggled to sit up. “You stole my titty energy!”
“The whole reason you’re here is to provide mana. That’s it. I don’t understand why you’ve got to be a clown about it.” Starlight said.
Her hand glowed with red light, and Buck could briefly see the blood dripping from her arm as she patched herself up with a healing spell.
A few pieces of her stony spear were crumbled at her feet.
“Are you still talkin’ shit over there?” Buck said.
Buck touched his back and felt what he was sure would turn into one very large, very painful bruise in the very near future.
The light faded. 
Buck cupped his hands and tried to visualize his and Ditzy’s first night together at the jazz club. How she laughed as he talked about his time in the Bay, how she blushed when he caught her around the waist. Her squeaky little moans in his ear.
A red flame blazed to life in Buck’s hands, lighting the space like a torch. Now he could see where they were. It was some lost chamber deep in the earth, but from what he could see, there were no exits. 
There was a hole in a corner of the ceiling, about ten or twelve feet up and inaccessible due to a truckload of loose boulders that had fallen in after Starlight and Buck.
Through some miracle, neither of them were broken anywhere as far as Buck could see, but that was far from the problem here.
They were trapped.
“I can’t believe I thought this would be easy. I can’t believe that I thought having you here would make this easy.” Starlight said, getting to her feet. 
“I can’t believe my best friend decided to shack up with someone who’s got zero listening skills. Holy shit.” Buck said. 
Starlight turned to glare at Buck again, but she saw the placid look on his face and lost steam immediately.
“Shut up.”
“Absolutely not. I’m not gonna stop talkin’, because that’s what you want. But I’m also not gonna let you bait me into a fight, neither. Great plan, by the way. Worked out real well. Super heroic.” Buck said.
“I was desperate.”
“Yeah, no shit.”
“You were being obstinate.”
“Not hearing a “sorry” in there.”
Buck groaned, leaning down. He placed the ball of red flame on the cave floor. It popped and danced, but somehow, it stayed lit.
“There are cracks in the ceiling. We should still have air down here, but we won’t be able to get out without your mana.”
“Right. You’ve got that mold earth spell. Could probably turn all these rocks into a staircase or somethin’.” Buck said. He moved over to the pile of stones, calmly picked a large one, and rolled it across the floor, placing it a few feet away from the ball of mana.
Starlight watched with rising confusion as he did the same with another one on the other side of the flame.
“...well?” Starlight said.
“Well, what?” Buck said.
“I’m going to need more mana than that little bonfire to do it.”
“So what?” Buck said.
“So, meditate, or whatever you have to do to give me that mana!” Starlight said.
Buck could not believe she was still giving orders. He shook his head.
“I am.” Buck said. He sat on one of the small boulders in front of the red flame and looked at Starlight expectantly.
“You’re not doing anything.”
“No, I am. Take a seat.”
“We don’t have time for this!”
“Far as I can tell, times’ the only thing we’ve got down here. I figured it out. Why I can’t give you my mana.”
“Why is that?”
“Because you’re a bitch.” Buck said. 
Starlight closed a fist. 
“And before you start screamin’ again, just hear me out. My red mana needs passion, but when I’m around you, you suck all the energy outta the room. I don’t fuckin’ like you, Starlight Glimmer. And I know you don’t like me. But in all my time workin’ customer service, I’ve learned one important thing; no matter what a customer gets mad about; the shakes, the food, the bathroom, or whatever, even if they scream in my face about it, it’s never really about me. It’s about them.”
“What’s your point?” Starlight snarled.
“My point is, we’re not gonna get outta here unless I can give your some mana; more than what I’ve got here. And to do that, I’ve gotta give a shit.”
Starlight looked like a volcano about to erupt. She was obviously angry and tired, but then, so was Buck. 
“...you’re being weirdly nonchalant about this; being trapped underground in enemy territory.” Starlight sighed.
“It’s not even the shittiest thing to happen to me this week. I mean, half of my job is to take abuse from behind a register. But I’m not doin’ that today, so why don’t you sit down and tell me what the fuck your beef is with me? And hell, while we’re at it, what your beef is with Adagio.”
Starlight said nothing.
"Okay, how about this? I'm sorry that things aren't workin' out today. I'm sorry my magic is actin' up, and I'm sorry for how I've been actin'. This's a shitty situation for both of us, and we both reacted to it in a bad way. So I'm sorry."
“And you’re going to let me talk?”
Buck heard the voice of his father. A man listens before he speaks. 
“I’ll listen. I can promise you that.” Buck said, gesturing at the rock on the floor across from him.
Starlight remembered a time when she was younger and far more traumatized, and a kind woman with red and yellow hair and a leather jacket sat across a fire from her and said the same thing.
I’ll listen.
Buck waved a hand, and the little mana flame shifted to a soft cyan light. Starlight stared at her feet and frowned. And then, slowly, she sat down on the boulder.
“Do you see this leg? How I have to drag it around?”
“Yeah, I’ve seen it.”
“You wouldn’t be able to see them now, but I have metal bits in my leg. They had to be surgically implanted after Aria Blaze broke my tibia in seven places, and my fibula in four.”
“Holy shit.”
“Sonata Dusk kept healing it, but Aria kept breaking it over and over again. They were having some sort of juvenile argument.”
“Where was Adagio?”
“She came and stopped them.”
“Ah, okay.” 
“And then she decided to terrorize me in order to drain my mana. It was hours of her saying the vilest, most horrific things, scaring me out of my mind and tormenting me until I passed out. When I woke up, I was with Sunset Shimmer, who said that the sirens delivered me to her. As a warning.”
“Mother of fucking mercy. They did all that for no reason?”
“No…I was spying on them. Sunset told me to monitor them from a distance. This was years ago; when they were on tour. They seemed on the level, but I wanted to make sure, so I went to their van at night with a warding talisman so I wouldn’t be detected. But they found me anyway. I got to see their true colors, and I tried to get Sunset to go after them, but she refused. Told me to leave them alone, that they were reforming in their own way, and as long as they weren’t hurting anyone it was fine.”
“That’s Sunset for ya. Big picture’n all that.”
“I didn’t see it that way. After my leg healed…as much as it could, I left to go work for The Pillars, to hunt monsters. I swore if I ever saw the Dazzlings again, I would take them down and turn them into The Pillars without a second thought. If I ever needed a reminder of what they were capable of, all I had to do was take a single step.”
“Okay.”
“And then you showed up. With Adagio. And I knew everything was about to get complicated.”
“Okay. So you hate Adagio for what she did to you. I understand that. I know what it is to suddenly get trapped in a fucked up situation, where the only thing you can do is survive.”
“You couldn’t possibly understand what I’ve been through.”
“You’d be surprised.”
“Hmph.”
“That still doesn’t explain why you’re so pissed at me.”
“If I could do this alone, I would. I hate having to rely on you.”
“Yeah, you’re a regular Buffy. I get it.”
“No, you don’t. You have…all this power, right at your fingertips. If you had half an idea of what you’re doing, you could incinerate Chrysalis on the spot. Do you understand that?”
“I’m not doin’ that. I’m not killin’ nobody.” Buck said.
“You have all this power, and instead of using it to protect people, you use it to make fart noises and turn things pink. And then when I try to use it to do good, you refuse to give me even a tiny bit of it, so I have to take it. Do you understand how frustrating that is?”
“Oh yeah, I get it. Let me guess; you've got rich parents.”
“What?”
“You grew up in the suburbs, and you didn’t want for nothin’. Rich parents, nice neighborhood, maybe even gated. Expensive school. Am I in the ballpark?”
“...yes.”
“And now you’re doing this thing where everyone is running around with this resource that for whatever reason, you don’t have, so you have to scrape and scrimp to make anything happen. And then some asshole is walking around, and this stuff is just leakin’ outta his ears, and that pisses you off, because in your head, he should be sharing, but instead, he’s just throwin’ it around and usin’ it on bullshit. Right?”
“Right.”
“Well, congratulations, GlimGlam, you know what its like to be poor. Sucks, don’t it?”
“I never thought of it like that.”
“Seems pretty unfair when you put it in perspective, huh? You wouldn’t believe the kinds of things people will do when they’re hungry and desperate…I’ve done more’n my fair share of shit I’m not proud of, definitely.” Buck said.
His hands came up, seemingly on instinct, and grabbed at his arms like he was holding himself against a cold wind.
“So you need mana, but you don’t have any mana, so you bust your ass to get it so you can do what you need to do. And you hate that you have to hustle to get your hands on the tiniest drop of it, while I’ve got so much of it that I don’t know what to do with it.” Buck said.
“Yes.” Starlight said.
“Now, imagine what it would be like if not havin’ enough mana would kill you. How do you think you’d get by?” Buck said. He watched as Starlight Glimmer narrowed her eyes.
“I would find some way to get it…ethically.”
“Contemporary evidence indicates otherwise, fam.”
“Ugh. Okay, so maybe I was a little pushy.”
“Right, sure, pushy. We’ll call it that. Now imagine that your whole family is born without mana, and your Mom says the only way to get it is to steal. What would you do then?”
“...I see what you’re trying to do.”
“They’re starvin’ kids, like the ones you see all over Canterlot. Doin’ whatever they have to just to get by. Just like me. They need mana. There ain’t no mana around, so they’ve gotta get it from someone else. Just like you. Except when they do it, you call them monsters, and when you do it, you call yourself a hero.”
“It’s not that simple!” Starlight said. “They invaded this place from another dimension!”
“Did they?”
“What?”
“Didn’t you guys say they were young? Pretty sure if a whole army of them buggers came over from the other side, we would’a known about it a lot earlier.”
Starlight said nothing in response.
“So chances are, the changelings we’ve seen today were born in this world. Like me and you.”
“Well, Chrysalis is a soul-sucking monster from another dimension!”
“Right, right. And that’s pretty fucked up. From what I understand, she got me pretty good, too. She needs to be stopped, I got no objections to that. But those drones that’re tryin’ to get to me, the best source of mana around? They’re innocents, Starlight. They’re only doin’ what they’re told and what they know on instinct, and they’re desperate. You saw ‘em. They’re fallin’ apart. So why do they deserve to die for the wheels that their Mom set in motion?” Buck said.
“...I understand where you’re coming from, but you’re delusional. You can’t save everyone.” Starlight said.
“No, but we can try. Far as I can see, all the changelings really need is a lil’ bit of kindness.” Buck said.
“Did you take that line from Fluttershy?” Starlight said. 
“Kinda,” Buck said.
“...What’s she like? I haven’t actually met her. Or really any of the Rainbooms, besides Sunset.” Starlight said.
“Flutterbutter? Girl’s a bona fide saint. Sweetest woman you’ll ever meet in your life.”
“That’s what I heard.”
“Also; biggest fucking rack I’ve ever seen. She really grew out at the end of senior year. Like, you think Ditzy’s got back problems? You ain’t seen nothin’.”
“Alright, Buck.”
“Like I’m talkin’ coke can crushin’, honka donka bazonkas. Like, her bra shoulda had side mirrors on it, kinda headlights. Could probably hide a few squirrels and some change in there if she wanted.”
“Alright, Buck.”
“Really great friend though. Great taste in music, too. Never understood why she always talks like she just got outta bed.”
Starlight made a sound then, somewhere between a sharp exhale and a cough. It was the closest Buck had heard her come to laughing. 
“But we’re gettin’ off track. This’s about you. So you hate Adagio. What’s that got to do with me?” Buck said.
“You keep feeding her, interacting with her, making her stronger and giving her ammunition. She’s dangerous enough without a well of mana to draw on, but with you, she’s a Nightmare level threat.”
“What’s that mean?”
“It’s a classification that the Pillars use. Nightmare level creatures are monsters with power enough to pose an existential threat to civilization as we know it. The only grade higher are Cosmic level creatures, which have the potential to destroy planets or planes of existence.”
“The Pillars have her marked?”
“No. They’re too…distracted to take the threat she poses seriously. And so are you. She’s a walking disaster, Buck. And knowing the kind of power you have, you have spent way too long letting her use you.”
“She’s not using me, anymore. We had a deal; her lessons for my mana. Now, we’re not really on speaking terms, so much, but I’m willing to work with her despite my feelings, just like I’m willing to work with you.”
“Why?”
“Because I need the money. If I don’t get this bread, I’m gonna be out on the street again.”
“And what about your mana? What are you going to do about your powers?”
“I was gonna have Sunburst teach me.”
“I see.” 
Starlight and Buck sat in awkward silence for a while.
“So you think I’m stupid for hangin’ around Adagio, then? Is that why you’re so pissy at me?”
“No. I’m ‘pissy’ because you keep defending her.”
“Huh.”
“What? What is it?”
“Just deja vu. I’ve had to go to bat for you with Adagio, go to bat for her with you, go to bat for Ditzy with Adagio, and then the same thing in reverse. This’d be so much easier if we could settle it over a game of beer pong.”
“You can joke all you want, but you know how dangerous she is, and yet you still talk about her like she’s just a normal person. You keep letting her get close, and you keep trying to…”
“Level with her?”
“Yes! And I don’t get it! She’s playing you! You have to know that!”
“I know that. I know. But I also know that Adagio is…she’s really set in her ways. Like an old lady, you know? All the scheming and the politicking around me…I think that may just be the way she works through things.She’s just as scared of me as I am of her, and maybe if we just took each other at our word, we’d be able to meet in the middle.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. Adagio is-”
Buck glared at Starlight.
“She’s a problem. If you give her an inch, she’ll take a mile. People that use and abuse others don’t deserve a second chance.” Starlight said.
“Okay, then I guess we should stop talkin’ since you’ve been usin’ and abusin’ me all day.” Buck said. 
“Don’t compare me to her.”
“Hey, a man is honest.”
“What?”
“I’m sayin’ if the beanie fits, wear it.”
“We are nothing alike! What I do, I do for the greater good. Adagio is out for exactly one person; herself. She’s the worst kind of monster; a manipulator.”
“You tried to manipulate me so my mana would be easier to take. Don’t that make you a manipulator?”
“I’m! I’m sorry. It’s just, this mission is extremely important, and if we don’t catch the Queen now, she’ll just fly off again, and she’s almost as much of a threat as Adagio is! And, you’re just so obstinate, and annoying, and I didn’t know what to do, and…!”
“And?” Buck frowned.
“...And my excuses don’t matter. What I did there was wrong, and…I’m sorry.”
“Alright, cool. I forgive you.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that. That’s another thing I learned from the Rainbooms.” Buck smiled.
Starlight Glimmer, for the first time in years, outside of Sunburst’s presence, cracked a smile. It was brief, and it was small, but the genuine relief on her face warmed Buck’s heart for just a moment.
“So can I have some mana so I can get us out of here?”
“Nope.”
“Why!?”
“‘Cause we’re not done. You bein’ pissed at me because of what Adagio did is some victim-blaming horseshit, and you know it. Which means, like I said before, you’re not actually pissed at me. So why don’t you tell me what you are pissed at, and why I’m catchin’ hell for it?”
“I just…I can’t stand to see the weak get used by the powerful. It’s wrong.”
“Yeah, capitalism’s a bitch.”
“No, I mean in regards to magic.”
“Of course.” Buck sighed.
“I’ve seen what a person with power and influence can do when they have magic. I’ve seen horrible things, Buck. I’ve seen monsters get created; seen people turn into them. I never want to see it again. And when you fraternize with Adagio, I see monsters in the making. You with your power, and Adagio with her…”
“Thirst?”
“I know what can happen when someone gets drunk on power and there’s no one around that can stop them. Lives get destroyed.”
“...is this about what happened in Fillydelphia?” Buck said.
Starlight looked at him in shock, then stared at the red flame for a while.
“You know about the Fillydelphia incident?”
“Only a little bit. I know that some horrible magic accident happened on the outskirts of the city. I know people died, and I found out recently that Ditzy was there, and I’m guessing you were, too. Hell, even my-”
“It wasn’t an accident! What happened there wasn’t an accident. There was a monster, and it was stopped, but not before everything went to hell.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Buck said.
“Are you going to give me mana if I don’t?” Starlight said.
Buck extended a hand toward Starlight. She flinched, but all that came out was a slight red fizzle.
“Guess not,” Buck said.
Starlight put her head in her hands and groaned.
“I haven’t even talked to Sunburst about this.” Starlight said. 
There was a little crinkling sound. Starlight looked up and saw Buck offering his little baggie of trail mix. Her stomach growled.
“Alright, fine. I’ll tell you what happened in Fillydelphia, but you don’t speak a word of this to anyone else, understand? I don’t want to give Adagio any ammunition to use against me.” Starlight said, holding out a hand. Buck shook some nuts and raisins into her palm.
“Fine by me,” Buck said.
Starlight fidgeted uncomfortably, her eyes shifting around like a kid in a dentist’s office, waiting to get their tooth pulled.
“Do you need a few minutes?”
“No. I’m just gathering my thoughts.”
“It's a doozy, I'm sure. Take your time.”
“I guess it’s easier if I start from the beginning. I’m not from Canterlot, and I’m not from Fillydelphia either. I was born in a little town called Sire’s Hollow.”




> Chapter 34 - Unwell (Matchbox Twenty)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Starlight Glimmer was six years old when she first understood fear.
The specifics of the memory had turned murky with the passing of time, but even now, as she stared into the flickering shadows, Starlight could still remember the singular feeling that everything was wrong.
It was an especially stormy night. Lightning flashes transformed shaking tree branches into shadowy talons on the bedroom wall. Buckets of rain pounded the roof, howling winds shook the windows, and one small girl shuddered in a space between dreams and waking.
Normally, sleep came easily to the young girl; so full of energy was she that by the time she finished bouncing off the walls for the day, she fell headfirst into dreamland as soon as her mother tucked her in. Now she lay awake; eyes shut tight against the darkness of her room.
She’d been put to bed early because tomorrow was the last Monday of first grade, and Starlight had struggled to sit still all through the year. She’d been reprimanded twice for it. The fear of bad grades and letting her parents down had already been sown into her young mind, ready to blossom into an obsession that would sap the joy out of her entire school career.
But school wasn’t the only thing eating at Starlight Glimmer that night. Only an hour earlier, she had groggily scampered to the bathroom across the hall. 
She had heard a noise. Something like a nail being hammered into place. A sound that sent her scurrying back to bed, searching desperately for a peaceful sleep despite the chaos all around her. 
The scratching of the branches at Starlight’s window, the approach of the last week of her first school year, and the raging confusion of the stormy night curdled into bald terror.
A horrible nightmare bounced around Starlight’s skull, matched by the child’s frantic heartbeat. She shot up in bed, shivering with fright.
There it was again. A persistent, rhythmic thumping, like old knucklebones against a door. The hammer in her head.
The old tree outside spoke in rattling whispers. It gossiped with the grandfather clock about how bad of a child Starlight was, how she ought to be chained to her desk. Soon those dark murmurs rose with the wind into a howl that rattled Starlight to her core.
She couldn’t cover her ears; she couldn’t cry out; she couldn’t move at all. 
Somewhere that was nowhere, something shattered, and there was yelling. The thumping stopped.
Movement, shouts, and whispers swarmed around Starlight. The world was wrong, and Starlight didn't belong in it. She felt she was being lifted up by a foul wind, soon to be dragged out into the rain, scattered like leaves in the storm.
Starlight screamed, the sort of painfully high, eardrum-jostling squeal that only young girls can summon.  
“Starlight, what’s wrong?” Said a sanctuary of a voice. A tender hand touched Starlight’s cheek, banishing the paralysis as if it were some fairytale curse.
“I had a bad dream! I’m…I’m scared!” Starlight squeaked.
Starlight’s mother Glitterdawn was a picture of new money beauty. Her skin was a blue as bright and pale as fine china. At this late hour, her wavy, dark purple hair was frazzled, and her twinkling sapphire eyes were puffy and red. Instead of the walking image of poise, Glitterdawn looked like the “before” picture in a cheap beauty magazine, but Starlight didn’t notice. She was still catching her breath.
“What are you scared of, Starlight? Is it that big tree again? I keep telling your father to get that thing pruned properly.” Glitterdawn said, staring through the window at the scary night as if to scold it.
“Am I a good girl?” Starlight said.
Glitterdawn frowned the same way Starlight’s teacher had frowned at her homework. Something was fundamentally incorrect in what she had asked, and Starlight cringed into the covers, expecting some terse remediation.
“Starlight Glimmer, has someone told you that you’re a bad girl?” Glitterdawn said slowly.
“No…” Starlight said.
“Then let me tell you, you are the brightest little girl to ever walk the streets of Sire’s Hollow. The sweetest and the warmest and the brightest, and anyone can see all of that with just a look in your pretty blue eyes.” Glitterdawn said, tapping Starlight’s nose with a smile.
“Really?” Starlight said.
“I knew it the second you were born. I knew you were going to rise into the sky and shine brighter than everyone around you. That’s why I named you my little Starlight.” Glitterdawn said. The sublime confidence in her tone turned the words into gospel. 
Starlight giggled as Glitterdawn tickled her and tucked her back in. A matronly kiss on the forehead banished all the nightmares.
“Now, get some rest. Even stars need to sleep.”
“But Mom, what if the bad dreams come back?”
The bedroom door creaked, letting a thin slice of light from the hallway enter the room. Glitterdawn glared at the ajar door, but when Starlight glanced over, she didn’t see anyone. Glitterdawn turned Starlight’s cheek back towards her and stroked her daughter’s hair.
“I’ll stay here and make sure you’re safe. If any bad dreams come into your room, I’ll swat them all away like bugs in the woods.”
“Do you mean it?”
“I’ll be right here with you, Starlight. I promise.” Glitterdawn laid down next to Starlight and held her tight. There would be no more bad dreams that night, but Starlight knew something was wrong. Something fundamental and just outside of her understanding. It would take her years to understand, but as she drifted to sleep in her mother’s arms, a quiet unease was planted in her heart. It was only a matter of time before that feeling grew into a nightmare of its own.
 




After a few seconds of trying to figure out what she was staring at on the cave wall, Buck snapped his fingers in front of Starlight Glimmer’s face.
“Glimglam? Y’alright?” Buck said. 
“Huh?” Starlight blinked.
“I’m askin’ if you’re alright? You said you grew up in a place called Sire’s Hollow, and then you just kind of zonked out on me for like four months.
“What!?” Starlight glanced at her phone, then rolled her eyes. “It’s only been a few minutes. Don’t rush me!”
“Uh, sure.” Buck shrugged. “Take your time, I guess.”
“No, I will not take my time! I’m stuck in here reading my memoirs to you while Sunburst could be out there fighting for his life!”
“Adagio, too.”
“Whatever. I’m trying to figure out the best way to explain all this. Give me a minute.”
“Cool, cool. I’m listening.”
“I hope so. I don’t want to talk about this again. I don’t really want to talk about it right now, honestly. Can’t we just skip to the part where we make up and get on with our lives?” Starlight tried.
Buck frowned and gestured to the little red bonfire. It was flickering like a candle, barely holding together, and beyond its glow was nothing but the darkness of the cave. 
“No can do, Glimglam. I gotta care about you for my steez to work. Apparently. All I know about you right now is that you talk a lot of shit and do violence to magical creatures. I can’t care if I don’t understand your beef, and right now, the beef's all I got.”
As Buck spoke, he pointed to his bruised left eye and the bloody scratches on his clothes. Starlight wasn't sure if he'd gotten roughed up from the skirmishes with the changelings or the fistfight that they'd had, wondering if there was even a difference. He was down here because of her. Every single ounce of this was her fault for bringing him.
“Ughhhh…!” Starlight’s hands went to her face. “Why can’t the magic in this world make sense?"
"I'unno, it kinda makes sense to me. I'm startin' to think that like 90% of magical problems are just therapy questions." Buck said, scratching his chin.
"The books say how it works on the other side, but everything around here is just so…!”
“Wibbly-wobbly?”
“Unpredictable! When I do magic, it’s just a basic equation! Point, think, shoot! I just focus, and it does what I need it to do. I mean, I have to take it from somewhere, and it can go wrong, it can always go wrong, but yours is just this huge mess, and I’m trying really hard to make it work, but-”
“Speakin’ to the choir there, Glimglam.”
“Stop calling me that!”
“I will when you stop trying to control everything and just tell me what your problem is!”
“I’m TRYING! My past is just…it's really painful.”
“That bad, huh?”
“Yes. It is.”
“Well, I’m sorry to hear that. I know a thing or two about sad backstories, believe me.” Buck said.
“Save it. Just let me concentrate.” Starlight snapped. She shut her eyes and crossed her arms, waiting for an epiphany. She instead found nothing but angst, anger, and more regret than she had any idea what to do with. It all seemed equally horrible, so she sighed and opened her eyes.
“I guess my problems started when I was young.”
“They usually do.”
“Are you going to make commentary the whole time?”
“I mean, I can stop if you want me to.”
“Please do. I’m begging you to let me focus.”
“Alright, alright, I’ll shut the fuck up. Go on.” Buck said. 
Starlight noticed the red flame on the ground between them diminish just a bit more. She took a deep breath and took an uncomfortable step into the too-warm kiddie pool that was her childhood.






Sire’s Hollow was a gleaming gated community sitting in a broad valley. Starlight hid it in her memories the way one hides the supplies of a long-neglected hobby; it was out of sight more for her own sake than anyone else's.
Starlight recalled the summers least fondly of all. The sun would bake the wide, sidewalkless blacktop and reflect off the gleaming vintage cars directly into the eyes of anyone passing by. Because of the hills surrounding the place, it was hard to find a breeze anywhere in Sire’s Hollow, so residents would fry like eggs in a pan if they stayed out for too long.
It didn’t much matter to Starlight. Since her parents treated her like a porcelain doll, she only got to risk the summer heat with a chaperone.
When she wasn’t being made to cram her way through the school week, Glimmerdawn would trot Starlight from door to door as she collected signatures for the philanthropic endeavor of the season. It was either that or sit around listening to her father's unbearable lectures about the lore of Sire's Hollow.
Starlight remembered when they rallied for a cause with a long acronym for a name, something about stable financial assistance, and how one particularly loud resident had rebuffed the initiative by saying, “If they want my income, they can come work for me instead of trying to steal it from my pocket!” That spray of bile and spittle was followed by a slamming door. Starlight could remember the clipboard creaking in her mother’s hand. It was the fifth remark of that nature they’d heard in the last two hours.
It was just as they got home when Starlight Glimmer drummed up the courage to ask. 
“Mom?”
“Starlight.” 
“Why do we keep trying to get names from our neighbors if they don’t want to talk to us?”
And Glitterdawn turned from where she had been hunched over her desk, and her sour seething shifted into a smile that was too tired to be dishonest.
“Because they’ve got it in their heads that they don’t have to care. You know how Sire’s Hollow is nice and clean, and you can get food whenever you want, and take baths and sleep in a nice, comfy bed?”
“Yes?”
“Not everyone can do that. The people here have a lot of money, but there are many, many more outside of Sire’s Hollow that don’t, and life is hard for them. The people here could help if they wanted to. That’s why we collect money and signatures.”
“But if they don’t want to…why do we keep trying?”
“Because someone has to. Someone has to care about helping people. It's a matter of principle. I’ll argue that until I’m blue in the face, because if I don’t, no one in the neighborhood will.”
“If people need help, can’t they just go and get it?”
Starlight saw anger pound on the door behind her mother’s eyes, but after a moment’s glance at the ceiling, she smiled tenderly once again.
“Sometimes, Starlight, bad things happen to good people, and there is nothing they can personally do about it. Those are the kinds of people I want to help!”
“But why?”
“Why? Because…life is unfair. Justice is a hard thing to come by in this world, but if I can help even one person and make their life just a little bit fairer, then I've made the world a better place. It's simply the right thing to do. Does that make sense?"
“I dunno…”
“You what?”
“I don’t know.” Starlight corrected.
“And that’s fine for now, Starlight. Just remember what I said, okay? You should always do the right thing, even when it's hard. Even when no one wants to listen, or help. Always do the right thing, and you'll make the world a better place.”
“Okay.”
“Pumpkie-wumpkin! Your little friend is here!” Called Starlight’s father from down the hall. Starlight twitched, almost charging out of the room before she caught herself and stood up straight.
“May I be excused?” Starlight said.
“You may,” Glitterdawn said.
Starlight scampered to the door but was stopped as her mother called out to her.
“Starlight, one more thing,” Glitterdawn said.
“Yes, Ma’am?” Starlight said.
“I love you!” Glitterdawn said.
And with her smile racing ahead of her feet, Starlight scampered down the stairs to the living room, where her best friend in the world was waiting.





Sunburst’s name said it all. Starlight was quickly growing into a child of dark thoughts, but it was impossible to be sad or angry when Sunburst was around. He was like a cool breeze in the summer, a warm sunbeam in the fall, a sudden break in the clouds when the weather got cold. Sunburst was a bright spot in Starlight’s troubled childhood, and they were absolutely inseparable.
“You’re super wrong,” Starlight said.
“Well, I think you’re wrong,” Sunburst said.
Starlight and Sunburst were kicking off their summer with their favorite game in the world; Dragon Pit. It was a board game with a chunky metal base and lots of moving parts. A plastic volcano in the center spat marble fireballs down tracks, trapping hapless dragon pieces in pitfalls as they raced to the caldera.
The two were neck-in-neck, their little plastic dragons on the perilous final stretch of the board, where the lava tracks crisscrossed. Starlight was just a bit ahead of Sunburst.
“There’s no way you’re going to make it! Your dragon is so getting trapped!” Starlight gloated.
“Unless…!” Sunburst said.
“Unless?”
“Unless I roll a six! Then it’s your dragon that’s going in the pit!” Sunburst said, shaking the dice in his hand. At thirteen years old, Sunburst was all knobbly limbs and thick glasses. An awkward bit of orange peach fuzz had sprouted from his chin, which he insisted was the beginning of a magnificent beard.
With all the confidence of a dedicated monopoly player, Sunburst rolled the dice. As the pair watched with rapt attention, it bounced across the table, rebounded off the metal base of the game, and finally came to a rest…on the number two.
Sunburst hung his head, moving his piece up two spaces…directly into the path of a fiery red marble. The board clicked, and a little trap door sent Sunburst’s token hurtling into the dark below.
“YES! Heeheehee!” Starlight giggled with glee, slapping the table so hard that the board flipped, spilling its tokens and pieces across the living room.
Sunburst and Starlight looked at each other and laughed. They laughed and laughed until the Goofy Movie soundtrack finished its run on the stereo. The living room was quiet as the hi-tech sound system clicked, rotating its lavish five-cd tray with a soft whirring noise. Where the Scooby-Doo soundtrack should’ve been playing, there was a loud ka-chunk as the machine stalled.
“Daaaaad! The CD changer is messed up again!” Starlight called out. 
No answer.
Sunburst and Starlight looked at each other for a moment, and then curiosity turned to mischief in their eyes. If there was one thing the pair of them liked more than studying together, well, it was playing Dragon Pit, but solving little mysteries was a close third.
They’d many times cracked the case of the missing remote, they’d cleared a few lunchroom pokemon card capers, and they had even found a missing housecat that had gotten trapped in a storm drain on the edge of town. 
In their own way, Sunburst and Starlight were like night and day, but when they worked together, they were unstoppable.
“Alright Sunburst, you take this floor, and I’ll go upstairs!”
“What? I don’t want to wander around your house alone!”
“Don’t be such a scaredy-cat, Sunburst!”
“But what if I knock something over? Like one of your Dad’s weird antiques or your Mom’s paperwork?”
“Okay, okay, fine. We’ll go upstairs together and work our way down! Geez.” Starlight sighed dramatically, but she grabbed Sunbursts’ hand. She didn’t know why she insisted on that at the time, but it seemed important somehow. Critical, even.
The pair crept up the stairs, ears trained for any disturbance. Starlight flinched as a board creaked under Sunbursts’ foot. He smiled bashfully as Starlight held a finger to her lips. She had heard something.
Starlight pressed herself against the wall, and with Sunburst just behind her, she sidled along until she was just past the grandfather clock, listening carefully.
Her parent’s bedroom was just a few feet away, and Starlight could hear a terse conversation coming from beneath the door. It was her mother, Glimmerdawn, and her father Firelight.
“I don’t care if it's a bad time; just sign the paper!” Glimmerdawn said.
“Now honey-” Firelight started.
“Don’t. Don’t you dare,” Glimmerdawn growled.
“Please keep your voice down, at least!” Firelight said.
They spoke a bit lower then, and Starlight wasn’t going to risk creeping any closer to the door. She moved back to the stairs with Sunburst in tow.
“What was that?” Sunburst said.
“They’re talking about something important, I think. Something about a paper. I couldn’t hear.”
“Ooh! I’ve got an idea!” Sunburst said, and he trotted down the stairs with a grin on his face. Starlight followed him back to the living room, where he was grabbing books off the shelves lining the wall.
“What’s your idea?”
“Help me stack these up! And, and these chairs!” Sunburst said.
“Okay? What are we doing?” Starlight said.
“Well, your parent’s room is right over this one, right?” Sunburst said.
“Yes?”
“Let’s build a sorta ladder thing, then you can climb up and put your ear to the ceiling! You can use this!” Sunburst said, holding out a glass that had previously contained juice.
“Sunburst, you’re a genius!” Starlight said.
“Aw geez, I don’t know about that!” Sunburst said, blushing. The kids worked in haste, not wanting to miss a moment of the secret rendezvous. In less than a minute, they had a precarious tower of chairs, couch cushions, and books built on top of the coffee table.
Sunburst did his best to hold the whole thing steady while Starlight perched on the top, listening intently through the glass.
“Glimmerdawn, be reasonable! Our little Starlight is about to go back to school; we can’t afford to drop this on her now; she needs all the help she can get. Let’s just wait until the end of the school year. Can we please just do that much? For our little Starlight?”
“How dare you. How dare you hide behind…you can dance around and make excuses all you want, but you need to take responsibility!” Glimmerdawn said.
“I took care of all of that ages ago!” Firelight said.
“By sending hush money to that little homewrecker of yours…!” Glimmerdawn hissed.
"What are they saying?” Sunburst said.
“Shh!” Starlight said. 
“Don’t you think I’ve already spent enough money on this as it is? Now you want more?”
“It’s not about the money, Firelight!”
“I’m doing everything I can. If we could just calm down and-”
“No, you keep saying that and then doing nothing! For once in your life, face your problems like a man! I can’t keep pretending that…that this is working.”
The doorbell rang.
Starlight couldn’t be sure what she heard. She wasn’t dumb; she knew it was trouble. She also knew that she was in the center of it. There was no time to think. Someone was coming down the stairs, and so Starlight and Sunburst scrambled with the blazing speed of pre-teens to un-cobble their tower. Starlight hit the floor with a low thud while Sunburst caught falling books.
On the other side of the house, the door clicked open.
“Hello Stellar Flare. You’re in a good mood today!” Glimmerdawn said with practiced congeniality.
“Heloooo~ Glimmerdawn! I’m in a wonderful mood because today is a wonderful day! I just received some spectacular news about one of my plans!”
“You can badger the city council all you want, we aren’t letting you bulldoze the library. It’s a historical site.” 
“It’s not about the library! Let’s just say I’ve got some traveling in mind!”
“Are you going to New Horseleans to try and scoop up flooded properties with the rest of the carpetbaggers?”
Starlight could nearly visualize the frown forming on Stellar Flare’s face. She was grabbing books now, tossing them to Sunburst, who was frantically sorting them back onto the shelves.
“Oh please, with all that water damage, think of the renovation rates! Talk about a sunk cost!” Stellar Flare laughed, stepping into the living room.
Stellar Flare was cosmetically carved like a classical renaissance statue, cut with fastidious detail and shockingly cold to behold, even when she laughed. She always looked like she was ready to bring hell to a service worker, poised to flex even the smallest modicum of control in any situation.
Starlight and Sunburst had just managed to sit where they were supposed to be around the coffee table, though they had left the book they’d been reading about reptiles upside down. If either of their parents noticed, they didn’t mention it.
“Mom! Hi! You’re here uh…early!” Sunburst said, wiping a bit of sweat from his brow.
“Oh, Sunburst, there you are! I just had to rush on over when I got the news! Look! You’ve been accepted!” Stellar Flare squealed, tossing an opened letter onto the coffee table.
“Is this…addressed to me? Did you open this?” Sunburst said.
“Details, Sunburst! Read what’s inside!” Stellar Flare said.
“Dear Sunburst, you are hereby cordially accepted into the Crystal Prep Young Scholar’s Study Program, where enterprising young minds like…yadda, yadda, yadda…which will give you the accommodation and tools you will need to build a brighter future with our greater suite of educational programs—Mom, I didn’t sign up for this!”
“Well, of course not! This program is cutting edge; it’s only been implemented in the last few years, and only a handful of students manage to make it in! I signed you up in January, and now you’re on the fast track to that Everton Independent Study Program you’re always talking about!”
“Mom, you can’t apply for Everton until you’re a sophomore in high school! I’m starting eighth grade in a month!”
“Not anymooore~! This program will put you in a special classroom with other brilliant minds attached to the Crystal Prep main campus!”
“All the way in Canterlot!?” Sunburst said.
“Exactly! Now, don’t worry about your packing process, I’ve already got a plan together that will put us right on schedule!” Stellar Flare said, pulling out a handheld computer.
“But what about school? What about…what about my friends?” Sunburst said, and his eyes immediately turned to Starlight Glimmer.
Starlight screamed in her own head not to start crying, but it was too late. She could feel a wet trail rolling down her cheek before she could even blink.
“Now Starlight, I know that this is a shock, but you still have the whole summer to spend with Sunburst, right?” Glimmerdawn said.
“Oh my, no! We need to get everything in order for the new program. I happen to have a few properties in the Canterlot area, and as soon as I get one prepped, we’re going to pack our bags!” Stellar Flare tittered.
Stellar Flare froze in the cockatrice glare that Glimmerdawn fixed her with, then frowned as she saw Sunburst hugging Starlight.
“Starlight? Are you okay?” Sunburst said.
Starlight didn’t have an answer. She couldn’t seem to recognize the word “okay,” and she wondered if she ever would again. She just squeezed her best friend tightly and tried not to wet his collar with her tears.
“Well…okay then…hm. Sunburst? It’s time to go now, sweetie. We have plans to make and uniforms to buy!” Stellar Flare said, pulling Sunburst away by the scruff of the neck.
“Why do you choose to be like this?” Glimmerdawn said.
“Come along, Sunburst!” Stellar Flare said. She leaned down to mumble in his ear. “This place reeks of desperation and social justice…”
“Excuse me!?” Glimmerdawn said.
“Nothing! Nothing at all, Miss Glimmerdawn! My son and I were just leaving! Isn’t that right?”
“Starlight! I’ll email you every day, and I’ll make sure to call, too! This isn’t goodbye!” Sunburst said.
As soon as the door shut, Starlight was up the stairs, down the hall, and in her room. She slammed her door and sank down to sit against it, knees curled up to her chest.
“Pumpkie-wumpkin? Is everything alright?” Came her Dad’s voice from the other end of the door.
“LEAVE ME ALONE!” Starlight shrieked. There was no space for a conversation after that. All Starlight could do was muffle her hysterical sobs as the weight of losing her best friend settled onto her.
The grandfather clock in the hall bonged and ticked on, ever ambivalent to the world that was changing around it.





"You know, Sunburst used to talk you up all the time back in college. He was devastated when his Mom dragged him away from you."
"What did he say about me?" 
"He said you were his best friend and the only person who didn’t make fun of him for being a book nerd. As a fellow book nerd, I know that’s a huge deal.”
“You read?”
“Is…is that a trick question?” Buck said.
“Nevermind. What else did Sunburst say about me back then?” Starlight said. There was a little blush on her face.
“Oh, he used to gush about you when he got drunk. About how one day the two of you would meet up and he would confess his feelings with a love letter, just like in his Japanese animes! I for real thought he made you up for a while. But he waited for you. He really did.”
Starlight looked to Buck then. She couldn’t spot a lie in his easy expression.
“He waited for me?”
“Didn’t date nobody in school. Not even once.”
“That’s…that’s so sweet. He never told me he stayed away from other women.”
“Oh, he definitely got laid from time to time, make no mistake. Hell, not too long after we met Smolder, we totally-”
“No! No, no, no!”
“What?”
“No! No to all of that! No thank you!” Starlight said.
“Oookay. Well, uh…Say, what was he like as a kid?"
"He was pretty much the same, I guess. He was sweet and smart but shy. Sometimes we would hang out several times before he would say anything. He didn't become a people person until later on. I guess I have you to thank for that. He told me a little bit about how you used to drag him into trouble."
"What did, uh…what did he say about me back then?"
"He told me not to judge you."
“Bang up job there, Glimglam.”
“I find it hard to believe there was a time when you were stupider than you are now.”
"...yeah. Me too." Buck mumbled. Starlight had expected a retort or a rise, but Buck’s shoulders slumped as he stared at the ground. She instantly felt guilty.
“Sunburst thinks you’re brilliant. Did he tell you that?”
“He’s just bein’ nice. But anyway, what’d you do after you got the news?”
“I cried, mostly. I cried for days after I found out. He was my only friend in the world! Eventually, my Mom came and pulled me out of it. She told me that Sunburst was a good boy and that I should take him at his word. She said it was important to have someone in your life that you can trust unconditionally and that Sunburst was definitely that person.”
“She was right.” Buck smiled. The fire flickered pink.
“She was! Mom was…she was right about everything. Sunburst and I stayed in touch, so even if we were apart, he was always just a phone call away, which helped both of us. He didn’t like anything about Crystal Prep.”
“Yeah, nobody did. Everyone who went to CPH had a rough time. As I heard it, Sunburst couldn't get off campus and into indie study fast enough. Funny how we both ended up in Canterlot for High School and then San Franciscolt for college. Maybe it was fate." Buck smiled.
"You believe in fate?" Starlight said.
"Not at all. If I thought fate was real, I'd think someone was out to get me!" Buck laughed.
“So, do you believe in anything?”
“You mean like a religion? Nah. Where I come from, we got about as many churches as bar rooms, and the bars’re more honest. If someone’s tryna sell you salvation, you better think twice, you know?”
“I see. That’s a pragmatic way to look at it.” Starlight said, almost smiling.
“What about you? What do you believe in?”
“Justice. I believe in justice.”
“Holy shit, I just got chills. You just said that shit to me with a straight face.”
“Are you making fun of me? In a world as chaotic as ours, it’s important to have something to ground you, and that’s mine, okay?”
“Nope, no. However you wanna…navigate all’a this, I’m not hatin’. I mean, magic is real, so what the fuck do I know? It’s a big universe…uh, multiverse? Holy shit. Man, I never even thought about that. If there’s two Twilight Sparkles, and pony world is like a mirror image, and if that’s the case, does that mean there’s like a bazillion different worlds, like multiverse theory? Could we go to the one where I went to clown school? Is that what I’m like over there!?”
Suddenly, the cavern seemed to shift. There was a sound like gravel being shoveled, rumbling the cave. 
For a few moments, Starlight and Buck stared into the darkness beyond the light of the little magical flame, dreading what may come gnashing out at them.
They didn’t hear the sound again.
“...So, how was college for you?” Buck said.
“Numb. I always had a rough time in school; no matter how hard I studied, I was always a little behind. That, and I was on my own. Sunburst could only help so much between his own studies.” Starlight said.
"What about your friends on campus?" Buck said. Starlight stared at the ground like she was trying to look through it.
"I'm not a people person," Starlight said.
"Okay, wow, no friends. Well, what about your parents?" Buck said. Starlight aimed her laser focus at Buck, and he feared her glare would microwave him until he exploded. Considering she could use magic, that didn't seem all that far-fetched.
"Like I said, I was on my own."
“Okay, touchy subject; got it. Uh...what was your major?”
“Mathematical Physics. I took it because I was always good at math. I thought it would be easy.”
“What the fuck? Why are you out here doin’ Buffy shit instead’a…fuck, I dunno, programming airplanes or something?”
“I don’t know, Buck! Why haven’t you done anything with your…?”
“Film.”
“A Film degree! Of course, it’s a film degree. Why aren’t you a famous hotshot director right now?”
“Uh, well, because I’m a writer, not a director. And I actually tend to prefer cartoons over live-action--”
“Yeah, well, I’m a monster hunter, not an engineer. Does that answer your question?” Starlight cut in.
“Fine, geez. Sorry. So your childhood, despite taking place in the lap of luxury, wasn’t all sunshine and roses. I get that. But what does that have to do with the crazy shit that happened in Fillydelphia?”
“I just wanted you to understand that when I was a kid, there was a lot wrong. I didn’t really fit in with people in Sire’s Hollow, and college was somehow worse because everyone thought I was a spoiled brat.”
“Can’t imagine where they’d get that notion.” Buck said. Starlight glowered, and he put his hands up and smiled.
“Sunburst was my only friend for a long time, and I guess… it's nice to actually talk about it a little.”
“Okay?”
“But it’ll also help you understand why things went the way they did. After six years of brutal academia, I was completely bombed out, exhausted and depressed. My college years took a lot out of me and a lot from me."
"That's relatable."
"I had the degree but no idea what to do with it. No direction. I also didn’t have anywhere else to go.”
“Why not move in with Sunburst?”
“His Mom would have thrown a fit. Stellar Flare is a lot of things, but one thing she’s not is open to change. Unless that change involves some stupid real estate project.”
“Yeah, you’re not kiddin’. It took…some effort, to uh, to get her to accept me being in Sunburst’s orbit. That was a wild summer.”
“I don’t want to know.”
“Right, your story. So school sucked, and you were a leaf on the wind when you finally finished. You're now an angry twenty-something with a chip on your shoulder and severe lack of direction. You would'a probably blown up if you were in an emo band. Where's that leave us?”
“At an airport.”





It was the blazing edge of Summer. The Wind Rider National Airport was filled with families and spring breakers ready to ditch the damp heat of Canterlot for exotic European tour buses, windswept beaches, and restful summer retreats. Starlight Glimmer had precisely none of that in mind as she trotted to her terminal with haste. 
If she hurried, she would be right on time to be early for her flight. She had her phone wedged between her shoulder and her ear as she looked over the details of her boarding pass for the fifteenth time that morning.
“So what did he say, exactly?” Sunburst said from a world away.
“He said that everything is ready for me to come home,” Starlight said.
“Just like that? I remember you saying your Dad was mad when you decided to go to Canterlot for college.”
Firelight had been beyond furious. His eye had twitched, his nostrils flaring, his fists clenching when Starlight announced that she was moving far enough away that he couldn’t ambush her with his overbearing dotage. 
He had almost stopped smiling, then.
“He said he’s just happy to have “his little girl” back.” Starlight said.
“How long are you going to stay?” Sunburst said.
“...Just until I figure out what I want to do with myself.”
“Well, the important thing is that you get some rest. You’ve earned it.”
“Sure.” Starlight sighed. “I’ll have plenty of time to be bored out of my mind.”
“Aren’t you happy to be going home?”
“It’s not home, Sunburst. Didn’t I tell you? This is some new place in the woods outside of Fillydelphia. My Dad sold the old house.”
“You didn’t tell me, no. I can’t imagine Firelight selling off a piece of history like that! He was always going on about Sire’s Hollow and its lore.”
“I don’t know, you know my Dad and his stupid projects! It doesn’t matter, anyway. I need to have a serious talk with him, and depending on how it goes…I don’t know if I’ll be able to stick around.” Starlight said. Sunburst said nothing, leaving her to sit on that somber note for a few unpleasant seconds.
“Flight 220 to Fillydelphia will be departing on time. All passengers, please report to the terminal.” Said the airport’s intercom.
“I have to go, Sunburst. My plane is going to leave without me!” Starlight said.
“What?” Sunburst said.
“They just announced that they’re departing on time!” Starlight said, her trot speeding up.
“So what? You’re early, aren’t you?”
“Sunburst, you should know that when they say a plane is late, it’s four hours late, and when it's on time, it’s ten minutes early!” Starlight said.
Her arms pumped as she hustled through the crowded airport, ducking around a clog of people on the flat escalator. Her eyes darted, trying to find the exact route, rushing and slowing and squeezing through people that seemed to be on the most casual stroll in the world until she saw it; the number for her terminal on a lit sign at the end of the corridor.
Suddenly, a hand snagged Starlight’s sleeve, nearly tripping her over. Her frantic eyes caught the sight of a short, spindly girl squinting up at her. She had curly red hair and a round nose, and she couldn’t have been older than fifteen, speaking with an aggressive lisp through a set of braces.
“Excusthe me, lady? Can you help me? I’m-”
“No time!” Starlight said. She wrenched her arm away and took another stride, but the kid was surprisingly strong.
“Wait, wait! I can’th find my-”
“I don’t have time for this,” Starlight snapped.
Tears were gathering in the kid’s eyes, and worse yet, people were looking, and the terminal was just a quick jog away, and Starlight had a spotlight on her, and it felt like she was baking alive. She needed to escape. To escape this kid and this airport and this stupid town and the entire planet, and just as she was thinking of creative ways to reach escape velocity, a voice called out to her.
“Starlight Glimmer?”
Starlight turned on a pair of bright turquoise eyes filled with concern and recognition. Hair as red as a fire engine shot through with blonde streaks framed an orange face. She seemed close to Starlight’s age, yet her eyes carried an earnest concern, like a doting aunt in a sitcom. She wore a dark leather vest with punk spikes on the shoulders and a strange ruby pendant hung from a chord around her neck.
“Who’re you?” Starlight said. 
“Oh, hold on just a second.”
The woman blinked quizzically, looking Starlight over, then she dipped like a summer sunset, taking a knee to speak to the frazzled teen.
“Are you lost? What’s wrong?” 
“I’m sthorry to be a bother, but I’m legally blind, and I can’t findth my glassthessth! My Mom isth waiting for me, but I’m ssthuper lost, and, oh, thisth isth justh stho embarassthing!” The girl said, on the verge of tears.
The woman with bright eyes smiled and touched her shoulder. “It’s okay, I get it. You’re okay.”
“What? You understood that?” Starlight said. The woman stood.
“Her glasses were knocked off on the way from the bathroom. Could you please stay with her for a second while I go grab them?”
“Are you out of your mind? I have a plane to catch!” Starlight said.
“I’ll be just a minute!” She said with a smile and ran off. The young girl took Starlight’s hand, wiping her nose with a sleeve.
“I’m really sthorry abouth thisth…” The girl said, staring at her shoes.
Starlight exhaled sharply.
“It’s not your fault,” she said. 
A few moments later, the woman returned with a pair of thick purple spectacles and handed them to the girl.
“Better?” She said.
“Yepth!”
“Okay, good, fantastic! Can I go now?” Starlight said, tapping a foot.
“Well, sure. I think this one’s got it handled from here, right?” The woman said.
“Now that I can sthee again, I’m good! Thank you, ladiesth!” The girl said.
“Yeah, thanks. You were a big help!” The woman said.
“Oh! Um, no problem, I guess.” Starlight said, grinning awkwardly.
“Don’t you have a plane to catch?” The woman said with a gentle smile.
Starlight’s eyes widened, and she looked at her watch for a moment before dashing off to her terminal.
As it turned out, she was right on time to sit around waiting as boarding started. She was beyond embarrassed, but at the very least, she wasn’t late. By the time she was in her seat on the plane, she had nearly forgotten what had happened, save for a single question that scratched at the back of her mind.
“Is this seat taken?” 
Starlight looked up and saw the same girl from before.
“Oh! Uh, yes.”
“Yes, the seat’s taken, or yes, I can sit in it?”
“No! The seat isn’t; you can sit.” Starlight stammered.
“Oookay then!” The woman said. She stuffed a heavy-looking duffel bag into the overhead compartment and took the aisle seat.
“I’m Sunset Shimmer, by the way.” She said, offering a hand to shake. Her smile was so easy and relaxed, Starlight couldn’t help but match it.
“Thanks for stepping in earlier. I was in a rush.”
“I could tell! You seemed pretty wound up. Is anything wrong?”
“I have a lot on my mind, to be honest. You don’t want to hear about that.”
“Well, it’s not the longest flight in the world, but we’ve got time.”
“Really? You wouldn’t mind?”
“It’s not like I’m going anywhere!” Sunset chuckled.
“I guess that’s true!” Starlight said. “But, before that, there’s something that’s been bothering me.”
“Something else?”
“Yeah. How did you know my name?” 
Sunset Shimmer looked off into some alternate dimension that must have been toward the front of the plane.
“It was…on your boarding pass!”
Starlight looked down and realized that she was still holding her pass, though at this point it was a little crumpled.
“Oh. Right. I must be more out of it than I thought. Whew.”
“Happens to the best of us.” Sunset said.
The two settled in and started to chat. The plane moved into position, the attendants and pilot did their speech, and before Starlight knew it, she was spilling her guts to this total stranger she had just met. She was amazed at how easy it was to talk to Sunset Shimmer, how she listened carefully and without any judgment, and how in turn, Starlight hung on her every word. 
It was like magic.





“What a class act.” Buck smiled wistfully.
“I realized later that she could have used her powers to look into my head right then, but she didn’t. She just talked to me instead. I never understood that.” Starlight said.
“It’s just basic respect, GlimGlam. Y’see, people have these things in their bodies called “Boundaries,” and when you violate those boundaries, they tend to think you’re a massive cunt.” Buck said.
“Yes, well, I’m glad you’re establishing boundaries with Adagio, even though you have to work with her today,” Starlight said.
“That’s not what I--y’know what? Nevermind. What was Sunnybuns doin’ on that plane outta Canterlot, anyway?”



  

“It’s a research trip. I’m a streamer, mostly, but I’m also part of a club of paranormal investigators.” Sunset Shimmer said.
“Really? Isn’t that a little…silly?” Starlight said.
“Everyone’s got their hobbies.” Sunset smiled. “I don’t stream it, mostly because there’s rarely any good footage, but you never know what could happen!”
“Sounds spooky,” Starlight said. “What’s happening in Fillydelphia that’s got your attention?”
“That’s top secret,” Sunset said, putting a finger to her lips.
“Oh, come on. What’s so top secret about being a “paranormal investigator”? What, are you worried you’ll run into a guy wearing a sheet?” Starlight said, rolling her eyes.
Sunset frowned, and it gave Starlight a sudden pause. All of the warmth in her eyes had bled away.
“Are you from Canterlot, Starlight? Or did you just move there?”
“I just went to college there.”
“Did you get out much?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Sunset smiled.
“Nothing. Nothing at all.”
“So what’s the scoop? What’s so spooky and secret that you’re flying out of Canterlot to find it?”
“Promise you won’t tell anyone?” Sunset said.
“Fine, sure,” Starlight said.
Sunset reached into the overhead compartment, coming back with a little stack of journals. She flipped through the one on top with an intense look on her face, speaking low and conspiratorial.
“For the last few years, there have been strange but similar events in the tri-state area. Tradesmen suddenly quitting their jobs, reporting that they “just can’t do it anymore.” 
“Okay…it sounds like a lot of really depressed people to me,” Starlight said. 
“There’s also been reports of patients in psychiatric wards being fine one day, and completely gone the next.”
“Gone?”
“Gone. Hollow. Sudden chronic exhaustion. And the testimonials all say the same thing; one night they went to bed, and the next morning, it was like the world was…less. Like they’d lost everything, even though they were physically the same. Some even talked about having similar nightmares.”
“What kinds of nightmares?”
Sunset flipped a few pages.
“‘Like I was a strip of velcro being pulled apart.’ is what an architect in Ohio said. Another one said that she dreamed her brain was being ripped out. It was violating and painful.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“She was a public speaker, but she quit after that nightmare because she experienced a sudden, incurable frog in her throat as soon as she approached a microphone. Another one, a kid like the one we saw earlier; his Mom says he was perfectly vibrant and lively; the best infielder on his school’s softball team, and then one day, he woke up with no energy, not even enough to get out of bed. Doctors say he had a sudden chemical imbalance in his brain, but his mother says he’s possessed. Said he talks about a dream where something was ripped out of him by some kind of monster.”
“Woah.” Starlight scratched her chin as Sunset Shimmer flipped through the pages.
“And they aren’t alone. Similar testimonials have been popping up all through the year! Here’s one from an accountant, a farmer, a mortician…”
“Okay, I’ll admit that’s pretty spooky,” Starlight said. “So you think it's a ghost or something?”
“I don’t know what it is. I’m going to see if I can track these people down and interview them.” Sunset said.
“Wow, you take this hobby of yours pretty seriously, huh?”
“I guess so. Sometimes it feels like I’m the only person in the world that really cares about this stuff,” Sunset said gravely.
“So…let’s say I believe you about the ghosts and monsters and creepypastas. What will you do if you find out something supernatural really is happening to these people?”
“Well, I’ll investigate it, document it, and try to help.”
“How would you help?”
“That’s top secret.” Sunset smiled.
“Really?” Starlight deadpanned.
“Really, really. Not allowed to say.”
“What? By who?”
“That’s-”
“Top secret? That must be some club you’re with. Yeesh.”
“What about you? What are you going to do when you see your Dad?”
“Ugh. I don’t want to think about that. If I could get by without saying anything, that would be perfect, but I just know he’ll want to talk about school and Canterlot and hear all about my classes and blah blah blah.”
“Well, you said you’ve been away for a while. Did you call often?”
“No.”
“Maybe he just wants to reconnect with you. It’s different for older people; for you, it's been four years, but that’s a blink of an eye to someone like your Dad.”
“You’re probably right. I’ve been gone a long time, and to be honest, we do have a lot to catch up on. My Dad…well, let’s just say he’s got some things he needs to answer for and leave it at that.”
“And you need a break.”
“And I need a break, right.”
"There's no shame in that! And hey, I'll be around Fillydelphia for a little while, so if you get tired of the family, you could always come and hang out with me." Sunset smiled.
"What, and hunt some ghosts?"
"I think ghosts might be a little too easy for you. Maybe you could try going after something tough, like a siren, or a centaur." Sunset said.
The pair shared a chuckle. The plane rumbled briefly and listed to the side. The captain announced that the final descent was coming up.
"But seriously, thanks for sitting with me, I guess. I can't remember the last time I smiled so much!"
“No problem! You never know where you’ll find a friend; you just have to give people a chance, right?” Sunset said with a smile.
“I guess so!” Starlight said.
When Starlight and Sunset got their luggage, they stood talking for a few minutes more.
"I really should get going. Thanks a ton for all of your advice." Starlight said, reluctantly checking her watch.
"Are you feeling a little better about going home?" Sunset said.
"To be honest, I just know it's going to be awkward and exhausting, and who knows how things will end up?"
"Well, I'll tell you something a friend of mine once told me: You've just gotta live in the moment. If you spend all your time worrying about the bad things that might happen, you'll miss out on all the good things that are happening."
“What if bad things happen anyway?”
“Then do your best to find the good.”
“And what if my best isn’t good enough?”
"Look, here's my number. If you have any trouble down there, just give me a call. And if you can’t talk or don’t want to…" Sunset produced a blank journal. "When things get confusing, weird, or uncomfortable, I like to write in one of these. Problems always look a little smaller when you put them on paper."
Starlight eyed the journal with skepticism. It was leather-bound and had a mark on it that looked like a burning sun.
"...or if you don't want it, that's fine too," Sunset said.
"No, no, I'll take it! You never know when it could come in handy." Starlight said, placing the journal in her little duffel bag.
“And with that, it looks like my cab is pulling up. Good luck out there, Starlight Glimmer. I hope you find what you’re looking for.”
“And you too! Even if it's ghosts and goblins!” Starlight laughed, and patted Sunset on the shoulder, then recoiled as Sunset’s smile turned sad and subdued. Sunset touched her hand gently.
“And Starlight?”
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry about your Mom.”
Sunset Shimmer turned and left the airport in silence, leaving Starlight to stare at her back, completely bewildered.





Starlight Glimmer spent the next hour and a half sitting in silence, watching as the cramped alleys of Fillydelphia gave way to gash trees and babbling brooks. 
Her uber driver had tried twice to make conversation, and Starlight had chosen instead to stare silently out the window. 	The address had to be lost in the woods close to state lines, she guessed. Soon she would be lost right along with it since everything out here looked the same. 
When a twist down an old unmarked road finally gave way to a high stone wall, Starlight wondered if she would have been better off ghost-hunting with Sunset Shimmer. As her cab pulled away, she felt certain that she was making a mistake.
Starlight stared at a set of towering metal gates that blocked any line of sight inside. A pair of security cameras glared down at her like blinking red eyes, giving Starlight the distinct impression that she wasn’t supposed to be there.
An intercom recessed into the wall buzzed as she poked it.
“Hello? I’m Starlight Glimmer. I’m here to see Firelight, my Dad?”
There was no answer.
Starlight’s eyes darted nervously, and she suddenly noticed that the stone wall was covered by strange carvings, evenly spaced apart. It looked like some sort of alphabet. One that Starlight didn’t recognize. 
Just as Starlight was pulling out her phone to call another ride, the doors rumbled open with intimidating slowness, revealing a portal to the past.
Starlight saw a wide hill with a mansion atop it. It had red brick walls and a green tiled roof that gave way to a clock tower, its black metal hands gleaming in the sun. It had all the presence of a haunted manor in an old 70’s cartoon. From its front door snaked a tiled path, which lead to a variety of smaller, old-timey cottages, bunkhouses and buildings with old colonial decorations and odd runic letters carved into the beams. She could hear the sound of cows mooing in the distance.
Everywhere else Starlight looked, she could see people milling about with jubilant smiles. Their clothing gave them the appearance of old colonials right out of a history book; all hand-woven, dull-colored dresses for the women; white shirts, and black suspenders for the men.
Before Starlight could wonder what the hell was going on, a woman with light pink skin and dark magenta hair approached her. She was in a long brown dress, and her curly tresses were pulled into a tidy bun.
“Welcome to Our Town! My name is Sugar Belle!” She said in a breathy, nasally voice that Starlight found instantly obnoxious. 
A chorus of “welcomes” echoed from across the way and down the street and a few blocks over as ambling people all smiled and waved at Starlight in practically the same way.
“...okay, that’s not weird or anything…Ahem. My name is Starlight Glimmer, and I’m here to see my Dad about a place to stay?”
“Of course! Everything is ready for you to move right in! You can go ahead and set your bags down. If you’ll follow me, I’ll show you where you’re going to stay!” The woman said and turned on her heels, gesturing down the street.
Starlight carefully set her luggage on the ground, keeping her little duffel bag on her shoulder. Before she could blink, a pair of men loaded her bags into a wheelbarrow and rolled them away. The metal gates swung shut behind her.
“...I guess I’m doing this.” Starlight said. 
After being surrounded by exhausted students for four semesters, this was like stepping into another world. Everything Starlight passed within arm's reach of a person, they smiled and said "Welcome!" in a tone that was one part motivational speaker and nine parts hotel concierge. Friendliness and good cheer flanked Starlight on all sides.
"What did you say this place was called?" Starlight said.
"Our Town!"
"Yes, this town. Does it have a name?"
"It's Our Town!"
"I understand that, I mean what's the name of this place?" Starlight said, sneering.
"Who's on first?" Buck said, from the future.
"Shut up, Buck." Starlight said across the campfire.
"The name of this place is Our Town. With a capital O and T." Sugar Belle said.
"Oh. Doesn’t that get confusing?" Starlight said.
"Maybe if you're new!" Sugar Belle giggled. “So, what brings you here? In need of a vacation, or are you trying to get back on your feet?”
“Uh…yes. How did you know?”
“That’s what Our Town is for! It’s a place for the bankrupt, the lost, and wayward to settle down and rediscover their passions. At least that’s what it says on our website!”
“So it’s like a homeless shelter?” Starlight said.
“No, no, it’s more of a rehabilitation clinic!” Sugar Belle said.
“Oh my god, my Dad is in rehab.” Starlight said, horrified.
“Oh, no, no, no! Not at all!”
“Oh, good. So where is he?”
“At the mansion on top of the hill. He runs this place!”
“Oh my god, Dad is running a rehab,” Starlight said, doubly horrified.
“He runs a tight ship, too. I’ve got about ten minutes before I need to get back to the bakery, so would you mind if we walked a bit faster?”
Starlight glanced at the woman and just barely caught a frown that was quickly replaced with a big grin. 
“Sure. So…do you have wifi here?”
“Not personally, no! We all have scheduled computer time over at the Rec, and public phones are at the manor if we need to make calls.”
“You have to schedule time with a phone?”
“That’s right!”
“Isn’t that a little primitive?”
“Yeah, I thought so too! But after a month without mindlessly scrolling on my phone, I have to say, I feel a lot more clear-headed.”
“So you’re like the Amish?”
“No, no, we have modern tech; we just prefer to do some things a bit more old-fashioned.”
Starlight was led past a squat concrete jail, complete with iron bars and a row of stockades.
“Old fashioned is right.” Starlight said. "How often do you throw people in the slammer?"
"Less than you'd think, but more than you'd hope!" Sugar Belle said without skipping a beat.
It wasn’t too late to turn around and run screaming into the woods, Starlight thought, but as she came up to the looming redbrick mansion, she started to feel a bit of guilt. Her Dad had likely built this place from the ground up, so it felt cruel to dunk on it out of hand.
"Is this the place?" Starlight said.
“This is where the magic happens! The mansion is the heart of our village! It’s where our founder and executives stay to perform the essential functions that keep this place running!” Sugar Belle said.
Starlight turned around and looked down the road, only to be greeted by more smiling faces. That was a little creepy, she decided, but then she looked further and saw a kid on a bench making balloon animals. Then she saw a pair of people chatting as they flew kites. She squinted and saw a person standing at an easel, laying down the first strokes on a painting.
This place, at the very least, seemed cozy and well put together.
“Well, this is where I leave you!” The energetic woman said with a smile.
“You’re not going to lead me to my room?”
“Villagers are only allowed in the mansion if they have an invitation. I wasn’t invited, so you’re on your own.”
Starlight stared at Sugar Belle for a few seconds. The woman’s smile seemed firmly rehearsed. Sturdy as a lamppost. Starlight looked down the street and saw a lot of that same smile aimed in her direction.
“...right. Well, I’m going to go ahead and…go, I guess.” Starlight said.
“Of course! And, hey, between you and me?” Sugar Belle leaned forward, whispering.
“Yes?”
“I can tell this place isn’t really your style. If you get a little tired of the food around here, I like to make some special snacks at the bakery. Brownies, you know?”
“Brownies?” Starlight said, raising an eyebrow at Sugar Belle’s sly wink.
“And don’t be afraid to try our muffins!” Sugar Belle said, straightening up. “Take care, now!” Sugar Belle hurried down the way, presumably to the bakery or maybe the cover of a children’s book, when she came to a sudden halt.
It was noon. 
Starlight knew because the clock tower gave out twelve bellowing bongs, and as they rang across the compound, every person in sight stopped what they were doing and closed their eyes as if in meditation. It was as if the whole town had frozen in place. And then, when the last bell ring finally stopped echoing, the people went right back to milling about as if nothing had happened.
“What is going on here?” Starlight muttered.
“I can explain it to you, Sugar Plum!”
Starlight whirled around and was met by a pair of exuberant copper-colored eyes.
Firelight’s green hair was coifed in a designer haircut that looked more expensive than anything in the town. He was in a stately vest and shirt, complete with a cravat, and as he reached out his purple hands to pinch at Starlight’s cheeks, she realized with dawning horror that the only thing that had changed about her father was the streaks of grey in his hair.
“Aww, you’re just as cutesy-wutsey as ever!” Firelight said.
“Daaad! Quit it! What is this? What is any of this?” Starlight said, smacking his hands away.
“Right, right! Your mother was always pushing for some sort of cause! Serving the underserved and all of that. I thought I’d pay that work forward!”
“Okay? So you built a rehab clinic?”
“Well, when you decided to leave Sire's Hollow for school, I had a lot of time on my hands," Firelight said.
"Dad, I wasn't trying to-"
"So! I did some research, took some classes, did a little investing! It took some time, but, well, you can see the result! The Our Town Community Renewal Commune! It’s a place for people with nowhere else to go. We’ve got our own community farm, kitchen and bakery, so no one goes hungry! We’ve got a recreation center with trainers and teachers to keep people active and curious, and we even have a library and media space for more sedentary interests!”
“And how are you paying for it all?”
“Oh, you know how it goes! Investors, a bit of state funding, and sales of the products we make here!”
“And the people pay to stay?”
“Nope! They don’t pay a single penny to stay here! Everyone has a job in town, and everyone just takes what they need when they need it!”
“That’s…really cool, Dad.”
“Aw, I just knew you’d love it, Chipmunk Cheeks!”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Well, we should get moving! I need to show you to your dorm so you can get nice and settled in before your big welcoming party tonight!”
“MY WHAT!?”
Before Starlight even knew what was happening, Firelight was ushering her down the road and around a corner to a row of stubby brick bunkhouses.
“We’re going to hold a banquet to welcome you to Our Town! We hold one for everyone that joins our little commune!"
"You're throwing me a feast?"
That's right! You can have all the food you can eat! I remember you used to really put it away, my little Paunchy Pants!” Firelight said, tussling Starlight’s hair.
“Quit it! I am, I…I need to sit down.” Starlight said, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“Of course, Cheeky Chops! Take all the time you want!” Firelight said, letting Starlight into one of the squat buildings.
The bunkhouse had polished wooden floors and uniform white walls. Starlight’s room looked like it belonged in some sort of Amish-themed summer camp. A tall wardrobe with a mirror, a window with a little candle holder on the sil, and a bunk bed indicated to Starlight’s horror that she would be sharing a dorm with someone else. Her luggage was set down next to the bottom bunk.
“Wait a minute, wait, Dad, we seriously need to talk-”  
“Someone will come along to bring you to the banquet at six o’clock sharp!” Firelight spun around and sauntered down the way before Starlight could protest, leaving her to remember all the times she screamed into her pillow as a teenager. 
It was amazing how quickly she slipped back into those old frustrations; her Dad had started a weird project and then wheeled it out into the living room, expecting a round of applause, while all Starlight wanted to do was lay down and turn up her music.
In that way, this truly was a homecoming. As Starlight plopped onto the bed and groaned at the wall, she wondered how long she could stay here before it drove her crazy.





Back in the cave, Starlight paused and looked across the little magical campfire. Buck’s eyes were wide, darting across the floor. He looked like he had just seen a ghost, or a spider, or the ghost of a spider.
“What the fuck.” Buck muttered, counting on his fingers.
“Buck, if you’re going to freak out whenever this story gets weird, I’m never going to finish telling it.”
“Right, right, right. Okay. Holy shit.” Buck said.
“Seriously, what’s the matter?” Starlight said.
“Nothin’, nothin’.” Buck said.
Starlight squinted at Buck’s rattled expression. He smiled then, burying his concern in an instant.
“Well? What was your roommate like? Were they weird?”
“We’ll get to that. My roommate was a sort of eccentric. She had a little calendar on the wall next to her bunk filled with pictures of sweaty bodybuilders in costumes.” Starlight smirked.
“Not your type, right?” Buck said.
“How would you know?”
“C’mon, we all know that you like ‘em small, stringy, and nerdy! Ain’t no shame in it!” Buck laughed.
Starlight blushed then and scratched the back of her head. It was the most normal thing Buck had ever seen her do.
Maybe under all of the bitching and the monster-hunting horseshittery, Starlight Glimmer was just an awkward ball of stress, and he’d been a little too fast to judgment.
“So then I went to dinner. And I wanted to burn the whole place to the ground.” Starlight said.





The sun had just dipped below the treeline, casting ember streaks across the little village and into the tall windows of Our Town’s Mess Hall. It looked like something between an auditorium, a barn, and a church. Starlight hoped she could blend into the crowd and not be too terribly bothered, but that earnest wish was destroyed by a bombardment of wide grins and senseless small talk.
As Starlight sat down at the head of the long tables that stretched the room's length, she joylessly nodded and smiled as people came to make pleasantries and say “Welcome” for the two-hundredth time. It was like every tacky charity drive her mother had ever dragged her to, and it reeked of fakeness.
Just smile and nod, Starlight. There’s no way today can get any more embarrassing, she thought like an absolute fool.
Suddenly, the din quieted. People stopped chatting, listening with rapt attention as Firelight tapped a glass of water with a spoon. He strode purposefully to the head of the room and gave his best five-dollar smile.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, Kiddies and Kiddoes! Thank you all for coming out tonight!” Firelight said. “Tonight, we celebrate a very special occasion! My incredible daughter has decided to come home, and I couldn’t be happier to have her here! Give everybody a little wave, pumpkin!”
Starlight made a valiant effort not to grind her teeth into dust as she flopped a limp hand at the audience. She was met with a smattering of exuberant applause.
“Like all of us she’s just trying to find her place, so I’d like each and every one of you to welcome her like you would anyone else!”
The toothy smiles that Starlight saw in all directions made her doubt she would ever have a normal conversation in this place.
“Tonight’s dish is a modern one; burgers and fries!”
The people cheered like they’d all won the lottery. Starlight looked around, wondering what was so special about some basic fast food.
“Though you might want to watch those fries. I hear they aren’t french; they were cooked in Greece!”
Firelight laughed, and the whole town laughed with him as Starlight slammed her head into the table, hoping she could wake up from this nightmare.  
“Before we dig in, I wanted to thank our crack team of cooks for putting all of this together! Give ‘em a hand!” Firelight gestured to a fourth table set along a nook in the wall that peaked into a kitchen. A squad of people in aprons stopped and waved to the crowd as the mess hall filled with applause. 
Starlight could see Sugar Belle among them, though she wasn’t waving. She seemed to be gesturing urgently to the inside of the kitchen from behind the nook.
“And I’d like to thank these two lovely ladies for making dessert!”
Sugar Belle hustled out of sight, then came out of the kitchen’s swinging doors, pushing a rickety wooden cart with several wide, covered plates.
Well, it was more like she was pushing the person pushing the cart. Sugar Belle smiled nervously to the crowd but not half as bashfully as the woman in front of her.
She had fair gray skin, and her blonde hair was up in a bun, identical to Sugar Belle and every other woman in the room. Just above her rosy cheeks, her yellow eyes were unfocused. She looked about Starlight’s age, maybe a bit younger.
“And what are we having, girls?” Firelight said.
The grey-skinned girl just smiled nervously until Sugar Belle nudged her with an elbow.
“Oh! It’s um…we’re doing, um…m-m-muffins!” The girl said. She hastily lifted the plate covers to reveal piles of freshly baked blueberry muffins. Starlight’s favorite.
“What kind of muffins?” Firelight offered.
“Blueberry! Blueberry muffins! Uh…ta-da?” The girl said. She picked up a muffin, presenting the treat to the hall, but she stepped on the corner of her dress and violently pitched over.
Sugar Belle managed to stop the cart from flipping due to the girl’s flailing arms, but the muffin she held went sailing through the air.
Starlight could see the arc of it as it crossed the room, and a small, sadistic smirk appeared on her face. It was headed straight for her Dad.
The whole mess hall gasped.
Starlight saw the look of pure horror on the girl that had tripped and one of remorse on Sugar Belle, but those looks shifted to shock in an instant.
Firelight had caught it. He had moved only the slightest bit, and the muffin landed right in the middle of his palm. He smiled at the audience and took a bite out of the muffin.
“Well, well! That Ditzy Doo cooks as good as she looks! We just need to get her some better shoes, huh? Those heels look a little wobbly!” Firelight laughed, and the rest of the room chuckled with him. “Let’s give her a hand, folks! For all her hard work!”
Starlight sank in her seat as the meek woman waved bashfully, then bumbled back into the kitchen.
“At least I’m not the only one embarrassed out of my mind tonight,” Starlight grumbled.
Firelight began to speak again, but the clock tower rang again in the middle of his speech. Everyone in the hall went silent, closing their eyes as the clock bonged six times.
Once the ringing stopped, Firelight smiled at the hall once more.
“And with all that out of the way, let’s dig in!” Firelight said, and everyone stood up, approaching the buffet table in a pair of neat and orderly lines, like a colony of ants. The lines crisscrossed in an odd way. Where they converged, the people of Our Town shook hands, chatted amicably, and made small talk while the rest moved methodically and patiently. 
“Don’t worry, I made sure that a few of those tasty muffins were set aside for you! I know blueberry is your favorite! Now, what do we say?” Firelight stage whispered.
“...thank you.” Starlight seethed.
“Only the best for my pumpkie-wumpkin!”
“Are they in the kitchen? Because I’d like to go get them, and not be here, in this room, with all of these people staring at me.” Starlight said.
“Aw, you always wanted dessert before dinner! Now, normally I’d say no, but since it’s your first day, and you’re my special girl, I’ll let it slide! You can’t spell ‘Exceptional’ without ‘Exception!’” Firelight said, pinching Starlight’s cheeks.
“Ughhh, cut it out!” Starlight stomped her way to the kitchen, avoiding eye contact with every aggressively friendly townie along the way.
The staff parted like a saloon door as Starlight walked into the messy kitchen, eyes scanning for the upside to this embarrassing evening.
She instead saw the blonde-haired girl, Ditzy Doo, sitting against the walk-in freezer, head down and shoulders shaking as Sugar Belle patted her shoulder.
“Now everybody knows I’m a total clutz! It’s just like back in Canterlot! They’re gonna start calling me names!”
“Nobody’s going to make fun of you, Ditzy Doo.”
“They laughed at me!”
“No, no, Firelight spun it. You’re fine, Ditzy, I promise.” Sugar Belle said. She looked up and noticed Starlight, then tilted her head to a nearby counter where a little plate with three muffins was waiting. There was a little sign on it that said: “For Starlight.”
Before she knew it, she had taken a bite. It tasted like home. Like the few hazy memories Starlight could remember when she enjoyed being at home, the treats her mom would make when Sunburst was over to play Dragon Pit, the taste of blueberries and lemonade in the summer. A home that didn’t exist anymore and maybe never really existed in the first place. And then she was caught, her mouthful of nostalgia sending her to an ugly, reflective place that reminded her how many small, gritty details she had glossed over as a kid. 
You realize so many nasty little things in retrospect; Starlight could easily name a few things wrong with Sire's Hollow, but the main one would always be her own father and the shit-eating grin he always carried around.
“You’re Starlight Glimmer,” Ditzy said.
Starlight’s eyes shot open, her summer memories banished in an instant. Ditzy Doo was looking up at her, wiping her eyes.
“You know me?” Starlight said.
“Everybody in town knows you! You’re kind of a big deal.” Ditzy said. “Well, Firelight’s been making a big deal about you, anyway. His super smart, super talented daughter coming to our humble little village.” Sugar Belle said.
“My Dad makes a big deal about everything. Don’t buy into the hype. I’m just here to clear my head. This is way too much, as usual with him.”
“I gotta say, I’m sorta jealous. My Mom never cared enough to set up something like this for me.” Ditzy said. There was an unmistakable bitterness in her tone that made Starlight’s eyes narrow.
“...do you like the muffins?” Sugar Belle said.
“Hm?” Starlight quickly brushed the crumbs from her face. “Yes, I do.”
“See Ditzy? I told you! You did great!” Sugar Belle said with a smile.
“Aw geez, they’re nothing special,” Ditzy mumbled. “It’s just because you’ve been teaching me.”
Sugar Belle gave Starlight a pleading look.
“The muffins are fine. They taste a lot like the ones from my hometown.” Starlight tried.
“Oh, that makes sense! Mister Firelight gave us the recipe for them. He wanted them made special for you!” Ditzy said, brightening up.
“He told us that every little detail had to be just right.” Sugar Belle said. “It was more than a little stressful.”
“But, but also really sweet of him to care so much!” Ditzy said. She rose to her feet, and would have toppled over completely if Sugar Belle didn’t move to brace her. One flailing hand slapped a bowl of flour, launching it into the air “Oops! Sorry, did I get you?” Ditzy said, looking up.
“What do you think?” Starlight said, now coated in white powder.
“Oh gosh, I’m a big clutzy dummy, I’m so, so sorry! Oh, this is why they don’t let me in here!” Ditzy simpered. She started flailing at Starlight with a dish towel, only for Sugar Belle to move around her and start patting Starlight down carefully.
“That’s not your fault, Ditzy.” Sugar Belle said.
“A lot of it is, though…I have a bit of trouble getting around sometimes. I’m a little top heavy, and my eyes’re, y’know. But I’m getting better, I promise! I’m doing these sorta ‘spacial awareness exercises’ at the rec, and-” Ditzy said.
“Quiet!” Starlight barked. “Ugh. Leave it to my Dad to hire a top-heavy dunce to run the kitchen…”
“Hey, don’t be like that! Ditzy is doing her best in here!” Sugar Belle said.
“Whatever. He probably just keeps her around because she’s got-”
“A great personality, unlike somebody I just met!” Sugar Belle said, hands on her hips. “Now, did you just come in here to rib on us, or what?”
Starlight glared down at Sugar Belle, who no longer had any hint of the peppy tour guide Starlight had met earlier. Ditzy cowered behind her, one eye fixed on the floor. 
“If you’re done spilling stuff on me, I’m going to take the muffins and go.” Starlight sneered. She turned to a barrel of fresh towels but suddenly remembered what Sunset Shimmer had said earlier. “This place is weird, and I’m not great with people, even on a good day. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
Sugar Belle said nothing, but Ditzy Doo brightened up.
“That’s okay! Everybody makes mistakes! Right?”
“Right.” Starlight sighed.  
“Oh, before you go, did you have time to think about those brownies I offered?” Sugar Belle smiled.
“No. I’ve had just about enough of everyone here, you two included.” Starlight said. She walked away, leaving the muffins behind.
“Yikes. Remind me to think twice before I ask her to pass a good time.” Sugar Belle said. Ditzy just shook her head.
“Here’s another one; why didn’t the melons get married?” Firelight said. The villagers sitting around him listened with rapt attention as he paused for dramatic effect.
“...because they cantaloupe! Hah!” Firelight said, and the whole hall erupted with laughter just as Starlight took her seat nearby.
“Dad, I know you’re having fun, but you and I need to talk-”
“Not now, Starlight! I’m entertaining my people! Go ahead and enjoy the food; I’ll be with you in a bit!”
“Dad, I’m serious-”
“And I’m serious about figuring out the best joke to tell at the rec’s comedy night! Here’s a good one; how did the two cats end their fight?”
“I don’t know!” Said a nearby villager. “How did they?”
“...they hissed and made up! Eh? Eh?” Firelight said, to another round of belly laughs.
Starlight would spend the remainder of the meal trying as hard as possible not to snap as her father socialized with the villagers, talking a ton and saying very little. Starlight interjected over and over, but it was no use. She just ate her burgers and fries, excused herself as soon as possible, and went for her bunk.
Starlight Glimmer fell onto her bed, doing nothing but groaning into her pillow until she decided she would go nuts if she didn’t do some venting. And so it was that she reached down into her luggage and produced the journal that Sunset Shimmer had given her just a few hours ago.
After “Dear Diary,” Starlight’s hand trembled as she stared hopelessly at the page. It felt like she was failing at a basic homework assignment, though she doubted that getting an “A” in journaling was a realistic thing to care about. 
All Starlight had to do was write her thoughts down, but she felt so stupid and out of her depth, and it didn’t help that everyone had been staring at her from the moment she showed up, and then there was her Dad acting like no time had passed at all, like she was a dumb little girl that had gotten lost, and she felt the pen creaking in her hand just thinking about it all.
Suddenly, the door opened. Starlight shoved the journal under her pillow so fast she struck her knuckles on the headboard. Standing in the threshold was yet another annoyance to sour Starlight’s mood, one which looked generally disheveled as she blinked her off-center eyes.
“What are you doing here?” Starlight said.
“I live here!” Ditzy Doo said.
“I live here! You must have walked into the wrong dorm!”
“No, that’s my bunk, this is my dorm, and…that’s my tasteful nudes calendar!” Ditzy huffed.
“This has to be a mistake. There’s no way they would stick me in a dorm with someone like you!”
“I thought the same thing when I looked at the registry, but here we are.” Ditzy sighed. She reached up and let her bun fall apart, her thin blonde hair falling past her shoulders. Without giving Starlight another look, she stumbled over to the wardrobe and began to brush her hair at the mirror.
“I’m not settling for this. The second I see my Dad again, I’m going to tell him to put me with someone who can go more than a yard without falling over her own feet!” Starlight said.
Ditzy’s shoulders tensed up for a moment, and Starlight heard her breathe out carefully and slowly.
“We’re low on space as it is. I don’t think they’re going to move you just because you complain about it, even if you are like a princess around here.” Ditzy said.
“Excuse me?”
“You’re already getting lots of attention and special treatment. I wouldn’t push it, that’s all I’m saying.” Ditzy said. Her tone was quiet and frank as she continued brushing her hair. “I know you’re a big deal, with your college degree, and your connection to Mister Firelight, but that doesn’t mean you get to be all fussy and so…so mean!” Ditzy said.
Starlight didn’t have an answer to that. She rolled over without another word and went back to staring at the journal, thinking about what to say.
And there it was. 
The most basic question Starlight had for herself and the world at large came out of her hand in basic, clear print.
“Why am I mad all the time?”





It was the next day, at an hour of the morning that Starlight found frustrating and a little painful. It had been a struggle to get her hair up in the bun that all the women of Our Town wore, and now she was just outside her bunkhouse, bleary-eyed and yawning.
Already, people were out and about, Starlight saw a young boy carrying pails of water, a small group of men walking off to the fields with old plows and wheelbarrows, and still others with sports equipment or artistic tools heading for the large auditorium at the edge of the village.
“Now that you’re settled in, it’s time to go over the rules of Our Town!” said an incredibly pale and obnoxiously chipper man.
Through her bleary and hateful glare, Starlight noticed that he wasn’t wearing the usual white colored shirt and black suspenders of the other male villagers. He was in a modern grey t-shirt and sweat pants, with a bright red armband bearing a symbol that Starlight didn’t recognize.
“My name is Double Diamond, by the way, and I’ll give you the rundown of your responsibilities!”
Starlight decided instantly that she didn’t like Double Diamond because he explained everything to her the way one would talk to a toddler.
“We don’t do money here! That’s the thing that surprises people the most, I think. Everything you could possibly need is at the General Store, and everything you could want is at the Recreation Center!” Double Diamond said.
“I want to sleep in.” Starlight said.
“Sorry, no can do! Everybody keeps to the same schedule around here! Lights on at 6 am, Lights out at 11 pm!”
“DISGUSTING!” Buck spat from the future.
“Well then I want a spa day.” Starlight sneered in the past.
“We can do that! We have a sweat lodge attached to the Recreation Center, and we have bathing facilities both private and communal!”
“That doesn’t sound very historically accurate. Isn’t this place supposed to be colonial?”
“Haha, well the colonials had a habit of smelling pretty ripe most of the time. There are some bits of the past that we don’t want to repeat! That’s what Firelight says, anyhow!” Double Diamond laughed.
By now they were walking. Starlight didn’t know where to go exactly, which was concerning but less important than the obvious questions she had in her head.
“How exactly do you guys pay for all of this?”
“Oh, that’s simple! Everything we make here in Our Town is added to a stock that is sold to pay for upkeep and maintenance. That includes clothing, food products, and even art!” Double Diamond said, cheerfully gesturing across the town square. “It’s all done over there, at the Assembly Center!”
There was a plain brick building with a few long tables set outside it. Rows of women were seated on benches, toiling away at complex cross-stitch patterns, their knitting needles moving with deliberate speed. They smiled and made the kind of small talk that Starlight found insufferable, and even though there was sweat on their brows, their work did not cease for a second. Starlight turned away before they could all smile and wave at her.
“Let me guess, you’re going to make me plow the fields?” Starlight said.
“No, of course not!” Double Diamond said.
“Phew,” Starlight said.
“That’s men’s work! The ladies do things that are a little easier on the back! Knitting, cooking, herding, that sort of thing!”
And in an instant, Starlight’s relief turned into a sneer.
“Look, I don’t know what kind of-”
“Since you’re new, we’re going to start off with something simple! If you’ll follow me!” Double Diamond trotted ahead of Starlight, and she begrudgingly followed him to the back of the building, where a pile of rugs taller than she was sat next to a crudely made clothesline carved out of thin tree trunks. On the other side of it was a wheelbarrow.
“We were told to give you a job that was pretty active because you don’t like to sit still!” Double Diamond said.
“Who told you that?” Starlight sneered.
“Firelight, of course!” Double Diamond said.
“Of course.” Starlight seethed.
“So every bunkhouse in Our Town has a rug in its living room, and they all get super dusty, as you can imagine. The old fashioned way of dealing with that is this!” Double Diamond presented a sturdy woven rod with a long handle and a set of intricate loops at the far end.
“It’s a stick,” Starlight said.
“It’s a rug beater! Made authentically with rattan and woven by hand! You take this, and you smack the dust out of the rugs, and you put them in this wheelbarrow! That’s the job!” Double Diamond said.
“What? All of these rugs? All by myself?”
“Oh, don’t worry, this job is pretty easy! You should be done in three or four hours, no problem!”
“Three or four hours!?”
“You’re allowed to take a break whenever you want, we’re not monsters! Just make sure it gets done by sundown, okay? Take care, now!”
Double Diamond tossed the rug beater to Starlight, who stumbled to catch it as he turned to head back down the path. 
Before Starlight could complain more, Double Diamond was off on a brisk jog. He trotted across the field, where others wearing the same armband were jogging together. Starlight noticed a woman with dark blue skin and white hair smile up at Double Diamond, dropping him a wink as they ran in lockstep.
Starlight stood there, looking at the tool in her hands, then at the villagers milling about. This place was the polar opposite of Sire’s Hollow. No quiet animosity between neighbors could fester here. Everybody had a place, and everybody knew everyone else. The whole place moved like an ant farm, with machine-like efficiency, and yet Starlight could not seem to fit in at all.
Her hands clutched the rug beater, and with a hard swing, Starlight tried to find her place. She was furious for several reasons, chief among them that she couldn’t simply relax and go with the flow. She was angry at her Dad, she was angry at her situation, she was angry at her Dad a second time, but mostly, she was angry at herself.
Thwack.
The rod slapped into the plain brown rug. It felt good. 
Starlight built up a steady rhythm. She would knock the dust out, yank the rug off the rack and replace it. Soon her anger and bitterness were lost in the simple repetition of her task. 
Thwack, thwack, thwack.
But it wasn’t enough. After a few rugs, all of Starlight’s anxieties came creeping back into her skull, and she tried to blot them out by striking the rugs harder until she was flailing, grunting like an animal, sweat dripping down her brow. Blood was rushing in her ears, blotting out everything but the pure physicality of the work. She struck the rugs, and they got cleaner. Like a hammer and chisel on a block of stone, Starlight hit the rugs, and their true colors emerged from beneath the dust. There was a sort of primal catharsis in that act. Something that felt right about striking the world in order to change it.
“GAAH!” Starlight swung wide, and the rug beater thwacked the side of the clothesline, sending it clattering to the ground.
There were whispers all around, but when Starlight looked, she saw the same smiles that had greeted her when she arrived.
The clock tower rang, and everyone shut their eyes.
Noon.
Another, smaller bell rang out across the village. It was tinny and light, and at its sound, all of the villagers broke from their trances and moved in the direction of the Mess Hall, albeit slowly. They all had the same exuberant smiles as they had since the moment Starlight arrived, but compared to the fervor she had seen at the feast, this was little more than a shuffle.
A breeze carried a greasy scent to Starlight’s nose, something like a combination of bacon and sausage that was more confusing than enticing.
Starlight made her way to the Mess Hall, where the smell of frying pork threatened to overwhelm her. It was the total opposite of the burgers and fries she had savored before.
On every villager’s plate were two slices of something that seemed more brick than bread, a steaming bowl of cloudy, brown liquid, and what looked like a bit of cinderblock that was sizzling with little greasy bubbles. The atmosphere was subdued; villagers tucking into their food with perfect postures as if this were some charm school test. There was hardly any small talk; every part of this seemed utilitarian and lifeless.
Firelight was conspicuously absent, but Starlight noticed Double Diamond and the group she had seen running before were standing watch at the exits to the hall.
With a bewildered march, Starlight found herself in line for the food and happened to see Sugar Belle serving at the end of the table, her own practiced smile shining brightly.
“What the hell is this?” Starlight demanded.
“It’s Dinner!” Sugar Belle chirped.
“It’s noon. How can it be dinner?”
“We serve dinner at noon! We serve supper later, at night!”
“Like-”
“Like the colonists, yes!”
“No, I mean what is this menu? It looks like…like something you found buried under the floorboards.” Starlight said. The people in line around her stopped their small talk for a moment and glanced at her, their flanking smiles giving Starlight the distinct discomfort of seeing a security camera inside an elevator.
“...well! I wouldn’t call it that! What we have here is our usual spread: Homemade whole wheat bread, chicken broth, and a historical specialty: Scrapple! All done up like the colonials did it!”
“What is it? It looks like a brick.” Starlight said with a sniff.
“It’s a sort of cornbread made with pork…stuff.” Sugar Belle said.
“Why does it smell like a barbecue pit? And what do you mean pork stuff?”
“You know, liver, and kidney and stuff. Byproducts!”
“Excuse me, could you move it along, please?” Said a painfully polite villager.
“Yeah, sure, whatever.” Starlight rolled her eyes and let Sugar Belle plate her up.
“Enjoy!” Sugar Belle waved with a practiced, customer service smile. As Starlight grumpily stepped away with her plate of culinary question marks, she saw another hand waving at her; Ditzy Doo was sitting alone at the edge of a long table. Starlight sighed and sat by her; better to suffer together than alone.
"You can't seriously be eating this stuff every day." Starlight said.
"It's not so bad once you get used to it! After I've been working all morning, I'm kinda glad to have it!" Ditzy said.
With much trepidation, Starlight poked at the lump of pork-smelling weirdness until a thick chunk of it came off on her fork, hissing with steam.
Starlight glanced at Ditzy Doo, a look of horror on her face. Ditzy Doo smiled apologetically and nodded.  Starlight squared her shoulders. There was no way her Dad would let the cooks serve garbage here. It had to taste better than it looked...right?
The piece had barely passed Starlight’s lips before she started gagging. It was like licking bacon grease out of a pan. The texture was oily and grainy at the same time, coating Starlight’s tongue in a sticky film. 
“They don’t expect us to eat this slop, do they? What happened to the fast food?”
Ditzy glanced around in alarm and put a finger to her lips. Several villagers looked up from their plates directly at Starlight. She struggled to put on a smile that matched theirs.
“The old settlers thought that stuff like sugar and salt was sinful. They didn’t use them much, so we don’t use them here.” Ditzy whispered.
“You don’t use spices here!?” Starlight murmured.
“I don’t know, they only let me in the kitchen to do those muffins! I’m pretty sure they make all this food traditionally!”
“You mean they make it badly on purpose. This is outrageous, I’m going to complain to my Dad!” Starlight said, rising to her feet. Ditzy caught her by the arm and pulled her back down.
“No, no, no,this is how its supposed to be!”
“What are you talking about?”
“Almost everything we do here in Our Town is traditional! It keeps things simple, and it clears the mind, that’s what Mister Firelight says!”
“Yeah, well, I don’t see him eating this crud.”
“Shhh!” Ditzy’s eyes darted around, left and right, and then a combination of the two. She blinked until her eyes refocused and held Starlight gently by the arm.
“Everything here is carefully designed to bring people back to basics, but also to get them to try new things. You give something up to get something, you know?”
“I’m not giving up good food,” Starlight said bluntly.
“Is everything good over here?”
Double Diamond was back, threatening them with a cheery smile.
“Oh, oh, uhm…” Ditzy mumbled, twirling a lock of hair.
“Ditzy was just explaining to me how the food is made,” Starlight said.
“Oh, right! Pretty good, right? All of the food around here comes straight out of the history books, and the village diet is designed to keep everyone happy and healthy!” 
“So, does everyone have to eat this?”
“Technically, no! Executives like me have our own strict diet to keep us in top shape!”
“Executives?”
“I know it sounds a little scary, but that’s what the guards are called,” Ditzy said. “They get to live in the mansion at the top of the hill! Oh, and they get those nifty armbands!”
Starlight squinted at the strange symbol on Double Diamond’s band. It was something like a black lyre. Instead of strings, it had an orange dot in the center.
“What is that symbol?” Starlight said.
“Oh, this? It’s the sun’s cradle! It’s a symbol that the colonials brought over. It’s supposed to represent…uh…I forget!” Double Diamond said.
“Typical. So, what, if you volunteer for guard duty, you get a cushy suite and a better lunch?”
“Oh, it’s not just guard duty! That’s just one of the important jobs we can do. Some of us work the mail room, or oversee the rec, or the farm. Didn’t anyone explain how things work around here to you?” Double Diamond said, frowning at Ditzy Doo. 
“...oh! Oh, sorry! I was supposed to do that, wasn’t I? Because we’re roommates and all, and-”
“That’s alright Ditzy, you can just tell her now!” Double Diamond patted Ditzy’s shoulder, and Starlight could swear the cross-eyed woman was going to catch fire on the spot.
“The pipeline goes like this; everybody comes to Our Town to sorta get their head on straight and have a new start!” Ditzy said.
“The modern world is full of poisonous influences that lead to pain and heartache. In Our Town, we all have a place to detox!” Double Diamond said.
“We each have a job, and we each do our part to keep the place running, and we try a bunch of hobbies until we find one we like! After a while, we get to become Executives and live in the mansion, which has a bunch of luxury stuff in it, and when we’re ready to leave, we pick up all the money we earned from our work, and we go!” Ditzy said.
“This isn’t a resort, so there is a time limit. People can only stick around for four months without becoming executive. If they don’t, we have to kick them out so that new people can come in.” Double Diamond said.
“But what if they aren’t ready to go? What if they don’t want to be executives?” Starlight said.
“Why wouldn’t you wanna be an executive?” Ditzy said.
“It sounds like a lot of responsibility. And a lot of physical labor. I didn’t come here to run laps, I came here to get away from everything.” Starlight said.
“Well, you’ve come to the right place!” Double Diamond said. “I’m sure once you get comfortable here, you’ll come around! Take care, now!”
Ditzy sighed as she watched him go, leaning on the palm of her hand until her elbow slipped and she knocked her forehead against the table.
“Are you alright?” Starlight said.
“What do you care?” Ditzy grumbled.
“How are my two favorite ladies doing? Enjoying the grub?” Firelight said, throwing his arms around the pair’s shoulders. 
Starlight shuddered, and Ditzy nearly fell out of her chair.
“No, I’m not. I’m really not.” Starlight said.
“Aww, don’t be such a Debbie Downer, pudding pop! What’s bothering you?”
“What’s bothering me? I don’t even know where to start! How about this one, why isn’t there any spice in the food here? It tastes like a…like a…”
“Like a sock that was cooked in bacon grease?” Buck offered.





In the flickering glow of the little bonfire, Starlight blinked out of her memory.
“...actually, yes, exactly like that. Have you had Scrapple before?”
“Nah, but I’ve heard it’s nasty as hell. Always kinda wanted to try it, though. That, and haggis.”
“Wait, do you hear that?” Starlight said.
Buck held a hand up to his ear as Starlight glanced around the chamber in the earth. There it was again, Starlight thought. Some sort of tapping in the wall. She held a hand to her ear, hearing nothing but her own heartbeat.
“I don’t hear nothin’,” Buck said, eventually. “What did your Dad have to say? Starlight frowned, and Buck saw a deep disdain cross her face, the same kind she had when she spoke of Adagio.
“He started going on and on about the background of Our Town; how it was based on a real colonial settlement, down to the foundations and the carvings, and the rules were there to ground people, and the exact process of how they made their weirdly stony bread and at some point I just started tuning him out.”





“And that’s why we make everything here according to the old ways. It’s to give people a sense of place. A baseline if you will, so that they can see the modern world from the outside, with all its glitz and glamour and distractions polluting the mind. In the old days, you would-”
“Oh my god, who cares!? What’s next, are you going to make everyone poop in a hole in the ground? Maybe shower with rain water?” Starlight groaned.
All around her, villagers gasped. Ditzy looked absolutely mortified, and she remedied this by stuffing her mouth with colonial garbage food so she wouldn’t have to talk.
“Now Starlight, not everything is a throwback; we’ve got running water, space heaters, computers in the library, you name it! We just prefer to do some things the old fashioned way, and it works! You’ll see.”
“Right, so you make up the rules, and then break them whenever you want?” Starlight said, crossing her arms.
“Starlight Glimmer, that is enough,” Firelight said. His voice had lost all sense of mirth, his bright and sunny smile gone. “You’re making a scene.”
Starlight stammered indignantly, glancing around at the smiles around her as they began to turn down. Beneath her father's gaze, she felt like she was alone in a dead forest. Firelight squeezed her shoulder then, and somehow it felt comforting.
“I know that Our Town is out of your comfort zone, but I also know you’ll do well here. Just give us a chance.”
“...fine.” Starlight grumbled.
“As for the little creature comforts we have around here, well, there’s just some things we can’t do without, like working toilets, and a spa!” Firelight chuckled, turning away. “Hey Ditzy, how are you doing today, are you doing something new with your hair?”
“Uh…no?” Ditzy said, blushing.
“Fantastic!” Firelight said, a few steps away.
“Dad, wait a minute, I need to talk to you. Not about the rules, but about Mom!”
“Sorry honey bun, I’m a little busy right now!” Firelight said, already out the door.
The bell tower rang again, and once the villagers stepped out of their brief trance, they started chattering excitedly to each other as they neatly filed out of the mess hall, including the cook staff, who tossed their aprons into a barrel and moved with the crowd.
“What are they so excited about?” Starlight grumbled.
“It’s rec time!” Sugar Belle said, adjusting her bun as she walked up. “After dinner, everybody who worked in the morning has their free period. Most people fast-walk over to the library to get on the computers, but there’s a ton of stuff to do around here!”
“What do you like to do for fun, Starlight?” Ditzy Doo said.
She really was trying, Starlight realized, and it made her feel extremely self-conscious about the way she had been acting. Starlight looked to and fro and felt her palms get sweaty as she tried with all her might to be just the smallest bit friendly and approachable.
“I…uh…I like…kites!” Starlight said, with all the confidence of a second-grade theater performance. Ditzy and Sugar Belle looked at each other for a moment and chuckled.
“What!? What’s so funny?” Starlight said.
“No, nothing, nothing! It’s just, that’s just so normal!” Sugar Belle laughed.
“Kites are fun!” Ditzy said. “Do you want me to show you where they keep the kites over at the rec?”
“...sure.” Starlight said.
For a few precious minutes, Starlight stood on the side of a little hill beside the main village, smiling and surfing a colorful box kite with practiced ease.
“It’s really about the aspect ratio. The higher the AR, the better the kite jumps, but it can be hard to relaunch. If it’s low, it won’t zip around as much, but it gets more stable and easier to control!” Starlight rambled through the first smile she had made since arriving.
“I think I get it.” Sugar Belle said as she dutifully untangled Ditzy from her own kite’s line.
“What part?” Starlight said.
“Why you like kites! It’s sort of a delicate thing; like you were saying before, every kite is different, but you have to make them just right to get them to fly. You can control everything about them until they’re up in the air; then all you can do is hope they work. It’s sort of like baking! You know, in a way.” Sugar Belle said.
“Ooh, that makes sense! The uh, the string is like controlling the heat in the oven! It’s not a ton of control, but it anchors the thing so you can keep a handle on it!” Ditzy said excitedly, finally slipping free of her line.
“Yeah, you’re right!” Sugar Belle said.
“I guess so. I never really thought about it like that.” Starlight said. “Do you need some help with that?” Sugar Belle said.
“No, no, I think I got it!” Ditzy said. Her kite was what Starlight Glimmer called a Delta, a glider-shaped kite that was meant to dip and flit through the air like a falcon on the wing. It was colored bright green and soft grey, and it soared into the clear skies for approximately thirty seconds before it took a nose dive, crashing into Ditzy Doo and bowling her over in a heap.
“Phooey.” Ditzy Doo said, her eyes spinning.
This time as Sugar Belle helped Ditzy up, Starlight stuck her kite’s handle into the ground and pulled the grey-skinned girl up by her opposite arm. She was surprised to find she had done it without thinking; it just seemed to happen naturally.
“Thanks, you guys!” Ditzy said.
“Don’t mention it.” Starlight said.
“No, I’m gonna! You’re actually not so bad, and that’s really nice!” Ditzy Doo said, smiling at Starlight like a puppy getting pet.
“Right…I’m…look, I’m sorry for the way I acted before, okay? I’ve been under a lot of stress, and it’s not okay for me to take it out on you.” Starlight said.
“That’s okay! I’m used to it!” Ditzy said.
“You shouldn’t have to be, Ditzy.” Sugar Belle said.
“I get it, you know? I’m a big clutzy dummy sometimes, but that’s why I like being here so much! No one is ever mean to me when I make mistakes! Everyone just treats me like I’m part of the family, and after the stuff I came from, well…I need that right now. There’s nothing for me at home.”
“My story is a lot like that, too. I was kind of a troublemaker back at home. I came here because I wanted to try being someone else for a little while. Someone nicer.” Sugar Belle said. “I think if you ask most people in Our Town, they’ll say something like that. Everyone’s here for a reason, and everyone is welcome. Including you.”
The clocktower rang again, and all the villagers froze. Starlight saw them all, paused in the middle of roller skating and flower arranging and knot tying, all reflecting on the things that they were happy about in their lives, and it suddenly made sense.
When time went back to flowing, Starlight looked to Sugar Belle and Ditzy Doo and smiled.
“Thank you. Both of you. I think I get it, too.”
The afternoon passed quietly and pleasantly. When supper came around, Starlight decided to retire to her bunk, where a surprise waited for her on the side table.
It was a little lunchbox, the same one that Starlight used to carry to grade school, with the little wizard girl petting a dragon on the front.
Starlight opened it carefully, revealing a feast fit for a princess. Two square-cut slices of pizza with pepperoni and pineapple, a thermos filled with hot chocolate, and another one of those delicious blueberry muffins.
Stuck to the inside of the lid was a sticky note.
“You can’t spell ‘exceptional’ without ‘exception.’”
It was a small adjustment and a simple one. After that day, Starlight finally started to fit into the villagers of Our Town. In the days to come, she would try her hand at all sorts of recreations. She got pretty good at beating rugs, churning butter, and folding clothes. She worked hard and she played hard, and day by day, she felt her spirit lifting and the corners of her mouth turning up.
She could also see her father in his element; he seemed to know the names of everyone in town and checked in on them in a very personable manner. He was surrounded by an aura of respect and admiration, especially from the executives who would flock around him like trained pigeons. She had never seen him look so proud.
Much like it was when she was a child, Starlight Glimmer grew increasingly frustrated that Firelight never seemed to have time to talk, but she did her best to put that aside and focus on the positive. Her Dad was busy, certainly, but he cared; the lunchboxes Starlight found on her bed every night were proof of that. She just had to be patient, and he would have to make time for her. It simply meant she had time to figure out exactly what she wanted to say to him.
Perhaps what helped most was the diary Starlight had been given by Sunset Shimmer. At first, she just used it to rehearse the tirade she had in store for her Dad, but soon enough she was writing in it every night. Whenever she felt strongly about practically anything, she was sure to mark it down in the diary. Building that simple habit made her feel stronger and more in control of herself than ever before, and as the days turned into weeks, Starlight started to feel something like peace in the routine. 





Starlight Glimmer had been in Our Town for about a month, and for all intents and purposes, she was adjusting well. It was after sundown, and Starlight was on one of the computers in the rec center, a building that was a part gym and part library, typing on one of the chunky old computers with a smile on her face. She was the only person still in the rec, and that privacy felt like the height of luxury. There weren't any webcams here, but she could still message Sunburst, and that made the whole situation better by an order of magnitude.
“So what’s new with you?” Starlight said.
“Not much. We’re heading into finals, and it’s kind of a nightmare. Oh, and I had the most embarrassing night of my life.” Sunburst said.
“What? What happened?”
“I don’t want to get into it, but let's just say I got into a big fight with a burly purple guy at karaoke, and the night went downhill from there.”
“That sounds insane! People in the Bay Area must be crazy! Are you okay?”
“I’m fine! I think I might have made a friend.”
“Wow. I had no idea things could be so eventful on your end. Beyond the weird colonial vibes and the labor, things here are actually pretty boring.”
“Isn’t that what you wanted? A little bit of peace after crunching through school for so long?”
There was a long pause.
“I’m not really sure what I want anymore. But you’re right. It’s nice to slow down and just be somewhere else for a while. Anyway, I’ve got to go. My time is up, and the sun has already gone down.”
“Have we really been talking for that long? Time really flies, huh? Don’t let me keep you, I guess. Stay safe out there!”
“I’ll talk to you soon, Sunburst. See you later.”
Even now, just chatting with Sunburst brought a warm glow to Starlight’s cheeks. A part of her was terrified that he would find someone over there and fall in love before she could tell him how she felt, but another part desperately wanted to do it in person. As she logged off, she ran through all the ways she could do it in her head, maybe flowers or a note or something sappy like that. She was so caught up in imagining it that she didn’t notice the hands drifting out from the darkness behind her, reaching around her head.
“Peek-a-boo!” Sugar Belle said, covering Starlight’s eyes.
“AAH!” Starlight shrieked.
“Sugar Belle, you really shouldn’t do that to people!” Ditzy Doo scolded.
“What is wrong with you?” Starlight said, slapping Sugar Belle’s hands away.
“Heehee, sorry Starlight! You just looked so lost, I had to give you a little shock! What’s the matter? Thinking about Mister Right again?” Sugar Belle said, snorting as she laughed.
“That’s none of your business!” Starlight said, slapping the PC’s power button.
“Oh, come on, nothing ever happens around here; you’ve gotta give me a little gossip!” Sugar Belle said. “Here, look, if you tell me about your boo, I’ll tell you about this guy back at home that I like!” 
“Are you high?” Starlight blustered.
Sugar Belle looked at Ditzy Doo and started giggling. Ditzy shushed her, looking around nervously.
“Okay, so I may have come here with some special ingredients, and I maaay have decided to make some brownies for all of us!” Sugar Belle said.
“Come on, Sugar Belle, you’re gonna get us in trouble…!” Ditzy said.
“It’s fine, it’s fine! Do you want some? I figured we could all get a little bit giddy and gossip!” Sugar Belle reached into the front pockets of her colonial dress and produced a pair of plastic baggies that were nearly bursting with a whole tray’s worth of lumpy, chocolatey mess.
“No,” Starlight said. 
Sugar Belle stuck out her tongue, then took a pinch of brownie and popped it into her mouth.
“What, are you allergic to fun, or something?” Sugar Belle said.
“I’m about…eighty-percent sure that stuff is illegal in this state. Also, weed makes you dumb. Everybody knows that.” Starlight said.
“Wow. What did you even do in college?”
“...I studied. Like you’re supposed to.”
“Okay, miss stick in the mud and up the butt! Me and Ditzy are going to have a fun night without you, then!”
“Ditzy, did you have some, too?” Starlight said.
Ditzy blushed and smiled, pinching her fingers together. Just a tiny bit, it seemed.
“It’s just I know some juicy info about what’s happening tonight, and I wanted to see if you two wanted to scope it out!” Sugar Belle said.
“What is it?” Starlight said, perking up.
“Oooh, now you’re interested! You wanna see the kinds of stuff that goes on in your daddies’ perfect little pet project?” Sugar Belle said.
“If you managed to smuggle illegal drugs in here, who knows what else is happening in this place?” Starlight said haughtily.
“So do you want to come? Aren’t you scared of getting caught with me and my…uh…contraband?” 
“Girls, uh…maybe this is a bad idea?” Ditzy said.
“I’m not scared! What’s Dad going to do? Ground me? Please.”
“Okaaay, just know that you’re going along with a ‘dangerous criminal’ and her spooky sticky-icky! Look out Glimmy, you’re gonna eat it, and it’s gonna make you chill for a second!” Sugar Belle laughed.
“I can chill! …I’m the chillest!” Starlight said.
“Are you sure you want to-” Ditzy started, but Starlight grabbed a baggie from Sugar Belle’s hand. She then grabbed a handful of mushy, chocolatey brownie particulate and stuffed it into her mouth.
Sugar Belle and Ditzy glanced at each other in shock as Starlight chewed.
“...okay, there, I took your stupid slacker drugs. So can we go now?” Starlight said.
“...yeah, sure!” Sugar Belle said, stifling a laugh as she headed for the door. Starlight followed behind her, arms crossed with indignity, while Ditzy took up the rear, looking equally mortified and terrified.





Beneath the cloudy night skies, Our Town took on a disquieting silence. It was now the break of fall, and the wind carried a cold, wet caress that made Starlight rub her arms as she crept along between Sugar Belle and Ditzy Doo. There was no happy chatter at this time of night, but that wasn’t to say there was no one about. 
A set of guards patrolled the grounds and a slow and deliberate march, keeping an eye out for any villagers playing hooky from the nightly curfew, their smiles subdued. They had been graciously afforded the privilege of wearing modern grey hoodies to keep them dry. 
The trio of women crept behind the buildings, careful to avoid the flickering lights of the old-timey lanterns that dotted the cobblestone paths.
"Stay low and quiet. We really, really don't want to get caught sneaking around out here." Sugar Belle said.
Something about this whole thing had Starlight feeling giddy. Before, she was something like a begrudging prisoner of this odd little project, but now she was like a thief in the night, flanked by co-conspirators as they sussed out some choice information. Even as they huddled by the old barn at the edge of our town, Starlight found herself growing excited. 
That excitement started to wane after the group had been huddled in the darkness for twenty minutes, staring at a stubby hill that Sugar Belle had indicated. There was an outhouse next to it, and next to that was a lit lantern, which was the only source of illumination this far out.
“Okay, I give up. Is the hill supposed to haunted, or something?” Starlight said.
“No, no, it’s not the hill; it’s what’s going to happen on the hill!” Sugar Belle whispered.
“How long does it usually take for something to happen?” Ditzy said.
“Usually it’s a couple lines of dialogue, and then they see their guy.” Buck said, from the future.
“Shh! Someone’s coming!” Sugar Belle said.
A figure emerged from the misty darkness. It was broad of shoulder, imposing of height, and intimidating even in a plane grey hoodie. As it entered the lantern light, it threw back its hood to reveal…Double Diamond. He looked like he was getting ready to raid a cookie jar and having some major misgivings about it.
Ditzy Doo audibly gasped, then covered her mouth. Starlight saw Sugar Belle flash a mischievous grin.
“Every night, Double Diamond comes out here to meet with his special lady.” Sugar Belle whispered.
Double Diamond was taking the cold about as well as Starlight, shivering slightly and wringing his hands as he stood alone on the hill. He wouldn’t have to wait for long, as minutes later, another person strolled out of the mist, although with far less trepidation in their steps. It was a fit feminine form with an athletic build, though it moved with the grace of a tin soldier come to life. Double Diamond tilted his head, then reached out gingerly and pulled the hood down to reveal the woman Starlight had seen before. She was smiling brightly like every villager had during the day.
“We’re super not allowed date here, by the way.” Sugar Belle whispered.
“Night Glider?” Double Diamond said.
“Welcome.” Night Glider said.
“What?” Double Diamond said.
“How are you tonight? It’s great to see you.” Night Glider said.
“It’s…good to see you too? Are you okay? You seem a little…are you sick?” Double Diamond said.
“I’m great. I wasn’t so good before, but I’m great now.”
“That’s good to hear, I guess. How are things at the mansion?”
Double Diamond reached out to hold Night Glider, but she either didn’t notice or didn’t care.
“The mansion is the heart of our village.”
“I know that, I mean, are you doing okay there, away from everybody? Away from me?”
“I’m great!”
“Well, I’m not. It feels like I haven’t heard from you in weeks! What are they having you do as an executive?” Double Diamond said. Any trace of his chipper, professional demeanor was gone, and as he spoke, his voice started to crack a bit.
“We executives perform the essential functions that keep this place running.” Night Glider said. It was like a recording from a theme park animatronic.
“I know your work is important, I know that, but I’m saying that if…this; me and you, if this is as important to you as it is to me, I need you to make a little time for me. I miss you, Night Glider.” Double Diamond said. He leaned in to kiss her, then drew back suddenly as Night Glider’s expression didn’t change in the slightest. She just kept looking at him with her wide eyes and bright smile, blinking slowly.
Night Glider looked up and away, and Starlight followed her gaze to see that she was staring at the mansion’s clock tower.
“Oh, it’s gotten late! I should go back to my room and rest.” Night Glider said.
“Is that really all you have to say…!?” Double Diamond said. He couldn’t hide the hurt in his voice, even as he tried to keep it low. A bit of wetness on his cheek shone in the lantern light.
“I really should get some sleep if I’m going to do my best tomorrow. Take care, now!” Night Glider said, and she marched off in the direction of the mansion, leaving Double Diamond to sob quietly. 
Sugar Belle took Starlight’s hand, then Ditzy’s, and led them away. They moved low and slow, pausing periodically to let the patrols pass by.
“Well, that was weirder than usual.” Sugar Belle said under her breath.
“What’s it usually like?” Ditzy said.
“Usually, they make out and stuff! That was…I don’t know what that was. That girl’s turned into a real workaholic.”
“I guess that’s just what it takes to be executive material. That seemed really harsh though, I dunno. What do you think, Starlight?” Ditzy said.
Suddenly Starlight felt something like a metaphorical bonk on the head. It was more like a bonk in her brain. She felt unmoored; like she was about to lift off from the ground and float into space. Bubbles of laughter burbled up from her throat, and she might have toppled over it Sugar Belle and Ditzy didn’t have her by the hands.
“Whoop!” Starlight giggled.
“Uh-oh.” Sugar Belle said.
“Oh geez, Sugar Belle! You don’t think…?” Ditzy said.
“You girls are suuuuper fun~!” Starlight laughed, flopping limply into Ditzy’s arms.
“No, no, no, not now! We’re almost back at our dorm!” Ditzy said.
“Speak for yourself!” Sugar Belle hissed, looking around. “Now Starlight, I know you’re having fun right now, but we really need to shake a leg, okay? I need you to just chill out, and-”
“I’m chill, I’m chill, I’m super cool!!” Starlight said.
“Shhhh! Keep it down! If we get caught, they’ll lock us in the stockades!” Sugar Belle said.
“Oh nooo, I won’t have to eat the garbage food, whatever will I dooo~?” Starlight whisper-yelled. “Be honest, do you guys think I’m a jerk? I kinda feel like a jerk, like all the time.”
“I don’t think you’re a jerk, you just come off as kinda mean!” Ditzy said, pulling Starlight to her feet.
“I’m not mean; I’m just tired! I’ve been tired for a while. Maybe…maybe I was born tired?” Starlight gasped.
“I know the feeling.” Ditzy giggled.
“Come on!” Sugar Belle said. She pulled Starlight by the hand, ducking into an alley between cottages just as one of the guards passed by.
Starlight’s loopy gait and giggle fit made it extremely difficult to keep a low profile, but Ditzy and Sugar Belle valiantly held her up and covered her mouth as they darted between pathways, just barely managing to keep out of sight of the guards.
Finally, they made it to the bunkhouse where Starlight and Ditzy were staying. Sugar Belle let out the breath she had been holding.
“Okay, we made it. That got a little hinky, but we made it.” Sugar Belle said, stretching her arms with a yawn.
“Hinky is a silly word.” Starlight leaned against the door, slowly sliding down.
“Yeah, I’m glad that’s all over.” Ditzy said. She leaned against the wall of the bunkhouse, and her hand promptly slipped against the mist-covered wood. She fell to the ground, knocking over a butter churn, which rang against a wheelbarrow, which toppled over, spilling freshly cut logs onto the cobblestones, where they bounced down the path and nearly tripped up one of the guards.
“Who goes there?” The guard said, rushing over.
“Oh, brilliant.” Sugar Belle said, slapping her forehead.
“Yeah, that Ditzy is a comedy genius!” Starlight laughed.
“Hello, Sugar Belle! Ditzy Doo, and Miss Starlight! What are you doing out past curfew?” Said the man. He had light blue skin and curly, dark blue hair. He bore the same red armband as the rest of the guards.
“Hello Party Favor! Ditzy and I were just fetching Starlight from the rec! She lost track of time, and fell asleep at one of the computers! Classic new villager mistake, right Ditzy?” Sugar Belle tittered. 
“Owie…” Ditzy Doo said, eyes spinning in her head. Party Favor kindly leaned down to help her up.
“Starlight is just exhausted. I was making sure she got to bed properly.”
Now that Sugar Belle had mentioned it, Starlight could feel her eyelids growing heavy as she sat against the bunkhouse door.
Party Favor's expression scrunched with scrutiny. It was anyone's guess what he was thinking as he glared at Sugar Belle, whose smile stood resolute, even under pressure.
“Oh, well, far be it from me to get in the way! Will you make sure to report this to Firelight? I’ll go ahead and clean up this mess.” Party Favor said, already grabbing some of the logs from the ground.
“Of course. Sorry to startle you like that! I’ll make sure these two get good and settled in!” Sugar Belle said. She nodded to Ditzy, and with her help, Starlight was once again on her feet.
“Alrighty then, you all take care now!” Party Favor said with a wave. Sugar Belle was already ushering Starlight inside.
“Take care now!” Sugar Belle smiled and closed the door. “Yeesh. I think I need another brownie.”
“Don’t you go all floppy on me, too!” Ditzy said.
“Yes, listen to Ditzy! She’s an expert on being floppy!” Starlight said.
“Gee, thanks.” Ditzy said.
“I like this version of Starlight! She’s a riot!” Sugar Belle laughed.
“Well, she’s definitely a handful,” Ditzy said. “Okay Starlight, come on, one foot up, and then the other…”
Starlight plopped onto her bed gracelessly. There was a certain wetness at the corner of her eyes, and she quickly rubbed her face against her pillow to cover it.
“Are you alright?” Sugar Belle said, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“I’m f-f-fine!” Starlight said. 
“What’s the matter?” Ditzy said.
“Nothing! I’m just…not really used to people being this nice to me. I guess there’s Sunburst, and I chose to come to this place instead of being with him, and I…I don’t know.” Starlight said.
“Oh, so that’s the guy! Is he your boyfriend, or what?”
“No! Maybe, someday. I really like him, but I haven’t said anything. I really wish I was staying with him right now.”
“Oooh~! Were you gonna confess to him and get all touchy-feely?” Sugar Belle said. “I didn’t think you were the kind of girl to hold back!”
“Shut up! We’ve known each other since we were kids! If I tell him how I feel, things will get weird between us, I just know it. What if he doesn’t feel the same way?”
“I get that. Sometimes boys turn out to be a little different than you thought you knew. You think you get them one minute, and then they change their minds.” Ditzy said.
“What if I tell him and he hates me!?” Starlight said.
“I mean, you know him better than us. Does he seem like the type to run away when things get a little mushy?” Sugar Belle said.
“No, that’s more of a me thing…” Starlight trailed off.
“He sounds oblivious. Lemmie guess; he’s quiet, except when he talks about something nerdy?”
“...yes. How did you know?”
“Just a hunch.” Sugar Belle smiled. “I’ll tell you something my Dad used to say; you miss all the shots that you don’t take. You’ve got to let the good times roll, instead of worrying so much about what could happen!”
“Wow. You’re the second person to say that to me just recently.”
“Oh yeah?”
“On my flight over, another girl--Sunset Shimmer–-said practically the same thing.”
Sugar Belle and Ditzy Doo shared a glance.
“You met Sunset Shimmer?” Ditzy said.
“Do you know her?” Starlight said.
“Yeah. We went to highschool together! She was kind of a big bully…but she really came around.” Ditzy said.
“She’s trouble.” Sugar Belle said, crossing her arms.
“Trouble? Like how?” Starlight said.
“She’s just another weird thing about Canterlot.” Sugar Belle shrugged. “Did you say you met her on a plane? Did she come here with you?”
“No, no, she was headed for Fillydelphia.”
“Oh, okay.” Sugar Belle said.
Starlight was starting to sober up now, and she could see the tension drop out of Sugar Belle’s shoulders.
“Do you have some kind of problem with Sunset Shimmer?” Starlight said.
“Not me, personally.”
“Then why do you look so upset?” Starlight said. 
“Sunset Shimmer…Everyone around her gets wrapped up in some sort of trouble. If I were you, I’d steer clear.”
Starlight's senses were starting to return, and as she replayed the night's events in her mind, she felt a pit in her stomach start to form.
“...what do you guys think about my Dad?” Starlight said.
“When I came here, I thought he was some kind of motivational speaker. A lot of words. Bleh.” Sugar Belle said.
“B-But he really is kind! He cares about all of us here, and he remembers all of our names, and he works so hard to keep this place running!” Ditzy cut in.
“Yeah, that’s…not what I’m used to from him. My Dad…as long as I’ve been alive, my Dad has had a nasty habit of focusing on little details and steamrolling over the things that really matter.” Starlight said.
“He’s the nicest person I’ve ever met. You’re lucky to have a parent that cares about you.” Ditzy said. My Mom is…well, she’s the worst, and I wish you wouldn’t be so critical of Mr. Firelight when he’s working so hard to change people’s lives!”
"Yes, well, I've known him my whole life, and I promise you, he's not as great as you think he is." Starlight said. 
“Ditzy’s into the earnest type.” Sugar Belle said with a smile. “Kinda like a certain guy who just got super dumped, huh? Are you gonna make a move?”
“What!? What are you talking about?” Ditzy said, turning red.
“Come on, Ditzy, we all know you like Double Diamond!”
“I don’t like him-like him! He just sorta…reminds me of my ex. In a good way! And he’s nice!”
“So you’re into earnest guys with big shoulders. I totally get it, I’m the same way. Actually, I think I might know somebody that you would like a lot.” Sugar Belle said, an edge of conspiracy in her voice.
Ditzy protested in her usual flustered way while Sugar Belle teased her gently, but eventually, the conversation petered off. At some point, Starlight had rolled over in her bed, and the other girls took that as a cue to wind down.
Starlight waited. She sat silently in the dark until she heard the tell-tale sound of Ditzy’s tiny snore. She pulled the journal from under her pillow, then pulled a travel flashlight from her bag beneath the bed.
She felt as if she had seen something very off tonight, something that disturbed her, but she couldn’t quite wrap her head around it. 
There was something wrong about the look in Night Glider's eyes; an exhaustion so pronounced and intense, it was nearly feral. It was the same look Starlight saw every semester during finals. 
Instead of bottling it up, Starlight put pen to paper, hoping to sort it out in the morning.
“Dear journal, something really strange is happening here.”
She heaved a sigh of relief, feeling better just from admitting it, but then shock crashed into her head like a freight train.
Before Starlight’s very eyes, words spread across the page in a neat, steady hand. Except it wasn’t her hand that put them down. It bore a simple question in red text, one that raised a hundred others as Starlight gawked at the page in shock.
“How strange are we talking?”





Starlight had just about curled up into a ball on the cave floor. After that last sentence, she sat with her knees pulled up to her chest, and she rubbed her bad leg gingerly. Buck had never seen her look so vulnerable.
“I’m sorry about today. Your leg must be killing you, with all the running and the weather’n all.” Buck said.
“It’s not me that I’m worried about. Every second we spend down here is a second wasted.” Starlight sighed.
“I’unno ‘bout that. Look.” Buck said.
The red bonfire had bloomed like a rose, doubling in size over the course of Starlight’s story. Where it was hardly a spark before, now its light filled the cavern with shifting shadows.
Starlight could tell that it wouldn’t be enough to undo the rock slide and get the two of them out, but progress had been made.
Buck was genuinely starting to care.
“Do you need to take a break? I can tell that this’s only gonna get rougher from here, so if you wanna slow down, I get it.”
“No. No, we need to get through this. We need to get out of here and finish the mission, but I also need you to understand what I’ve seen, and what Ditzy has seen, too. Maybe then you’ll get why I’ve been so harsh.”
“Is it because that’s the only way you know how to be?” Buck said, raising an eyebrow. “I know how easy it is to get stuck in your ways, especially when you’ve been through trauma, but you don’t have to-”
“Don’t. I know where you’re going, and I’m telling you to stop. Don’t compare me to her. We’re nothing alike.” Starlight said.
“...which “Her” are we talkin’ about? The one you look up to, or the one you punch down at?”
“You can save your moralizing for after we’re finished out here.”
“Well, I know which one I’m talkin’ about, at least.”
“I will come over there and punch you. You know I will.”
“Uh-huh.”
The bonfire diminished a bit. Starlight groaned into her knees.
She wanted so badly to just cut to the end and tell Buck the moral, but she knew that wouldn’t be enough.
He didn’t like her, he didn’t trust her, and at this point, Starlight understood all the reasons why. She had promised to tell her story, and so she would because it was the right thing to do. He was trying to understand, at least.
But she also knew it would hurt to go back to that place again. 
At least the fire was warm now.
“Alright. I need you to listen carefully, because the rest of this…is the worst period of my life. I’m only going to go over this once, and when I’m done, we’re getting out of here, and we’re going after the Queen. Deal?”
“Of course. Whenever you’re ready.” Buck said, offering some more trail mix. Starlight took it graciously, then took a deep breath.
Neither noticed the rubble shifting nearby as a black serpentine form slithered across the floor. Its pale blue eyes shone with hunger as it focused on the crackling red flame.





Far from Fillydelphia but not too far from Starlight and Buck, in the depths of the Snowdrop Inn, there was a muffled clattering inside a closet. A changeling drone paused in its patrol, head tilted, body twitching with nervous energy. 
It had no words for surprise or suspicion, nor could it read the word “Maintainence” on the wooden door beyond which the sound had come. 
It had only existed for about a week, and it therefore knew only a few basic routines. It defaulted on its instincts, leaping to the wall beside the door and sticking firm. It reached a spindly, pocked limb toward the knob and wrapped its awkward digits around it, testing the handle curiously.
Push? No. Twist? Yes. Push, twist? No. Pull?
The door swung open with a low creak. 
The drone bared its fangs at an old mop and bucket, some long expired cleaning chemicals, and a large pile of old, dirty rags.
Empty.
The changeling gingerly reached into the narrow space. It picked up a fossilized sponge from the shelf, nibbled at it for a moment, then spat it onto the floor.
Empty. It thought. Hungry. 
There was a shuffling down the hall. The drone saw a small group of its kin scuttle by, paying it no mind.
Patrol, it thought.
Suddenly, there was a low shuffle from the closet. The drone’s head spun back, and it gasped as a bit of shining steel flashed from the rag pile, slipping into its mouth and right through the other side like a needle through cloth.
Adagio had lunged from beneath the rags, singing low under her breath. A stream of greenish energy drifted from the changeling’s mouth and into her body. It was drained in an instant.
Adagio scanned her surroundings, shaking the slime from her blade. The hall she was in was a decrepit echo of past excess; yellowed wallpaper and expensive carpeting, creaking columns taken over by a pale, stony substance. It was dark, with the only light coming from green sacks hanging from the ceiling, with orifices opening and closing in the walls. The incessant wet beating of footsteps echoed from all directions. It reeked of mindless hunger and fear.
A migraine cocked like a shotgun at the back of Adagio’s head. This place was oddly reminiscent of a city bus, and she despised it for the noise. 
She needed to focus, or she’d be debilitated by the sheer chaos of this place, so she crouched in the nearest darkest shadow and shut her eyes.
With a deep breath and a licking of her lips, she tasted the air.
It was humid, oily, and bitter, like being inside a cockroach nest. It made Adagio’s skin crawl, but she tasted something familiar as well. Beneath the disgusting flavor of gathered changelings, Adagio tasted Buck’s sugar-sweet aura. It was faint, likely far away, but she could taste him, for the first time in hours, she could taste him, and that meant he was alive.
Something about it was off. Dark, frantic, and desperate. Was that fear? Adagio’s mind raced with the possibilities, but she put a stop to it. 
Of course, if Buck was here, he must be captured. That was part of the plan. If he was captured, he was guarded, but not currently by the Queen; she was still out in the snow. That meant Adagio had a very short window of time to retrieve him.
She could taste the trail of Buck’s aura leading down into the guts of this place, probably beneath it, but Adagio would find him.
And when she did…what would she do? She had held his love in her hands and shrunken away from it in fear. Again. Was she truly ready to face him now?
A wet scuttling of feet came from down the hall. Another patrol. No time to fret. Adagio moved to close the closet door, sparing a glance at the dying drone she was leaving behind.
It looked up at her dumbly, its eyelids drooping with the rest of its body as it melted into a puddle.
Adagio had to fight the disgust welling up in reaction to her pity. The beast didn’t have the words to beg. It would soon be nothing more than a stain on the floor, nameless and forgotten. The worst fate imaginable.
“I’m sorry.” Adagio whispered, and to her own shock, it was an honest sentiment.
She closed the door and skulked into the darkness of the hive.




> Chapter 35 - Carry On My Wayward Son (Kansas)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pain is mundane. 
People rarely mention it when they tell their life story. What people talk about is sudden pain. You can tell a tale about how you paddled through flood water or how your orphanage burned down. That’s the pain of getting stabbed; it’s dramatic. That kind of pain you can overcome; the kind that tells you you’re alive.
The real pain of a troubled life comes in the quiet moments. It drags everything down to a uniform, numb soreness, like a toothache. Sometimes it spikes, but it never goes away. When that grey misery goes on too long, it's easy to slip up and forget you were supposed to be on pins and needles. It makes you sloppy; drives you to do things you never thought you were capable of. 
Ditzy Doo knew that pain from an early age. Her weekly schedule was divided into two neat halves; the time when she was happy, and the time when she was at home.
It was senior year. Ditzy Doo was seventeen years old and aching for independence, but she wasn't sleeping on anyone's couch just yet. The couch in her home was already taken.
Truly in life, there were exceptions to the rules, and then there were people like Bubblecup. If she had ever experienced a moment’s introspection in her forty-something years of life, Bubblecup might have recognized the cliche she embodied. A single mother slumped in a compromising position on the couch, clutching a handful of lotto tickets as she dozed in the flickering glow of her TV.
Ditzy hoped that the sound of “Real Housewives of Applewood” would be enough to cover her scheme. The door to her own bedroom had been taken off years ago, but the kitchen door was still up. Ditzy flinched as it squeaked closed, nearly dropping her bag of contraband.
Ditzy opened the gritty kitchen window to let any potential smells out. She couldn't let her mother catch on, so she stuffed some rags under the door. She got on her tiptoes to pull the smoke detector off the wall.
Something shifted in the room. Ditzy's jacked eyes looked around in terror…and saw that it was just a mouse. The young girl's knees were shaking. Her eyes were heavy. All she wanted was relief from this purgatory of squalor, and soon, she would FINALLY have it.
With a low click and no small amount of trepidation, Ditzy started the fire.
Or rather, she tried to. The old gas stove sparked once, twice, a third time as Ditzy quietly panicked. She reached into the cupboard, cringing as it squeaked, and found a little box that still had a couple of matches in it.
"Come on...come on!" Ditzy struck one, and it broke in her hand. Something creaked in the living room. Ditzy prayed her mother had just turned in her sleep. She struck the second match with quivering fingers, gasping with delight as it lit the gas burner. 
With an impish smile, Ditzy Doo laid her ingredients out carefully; this was going to be the perfect crime! Her Mom would never see it coming.
Ditzy unsheathed enough bread, lettuce, and tomato for three whole sandwiches; a bounty she had gotten from the annual food drive at CHS. She brushed a few slices of stale bread with olive oil and set them to toast in a pan. As soon as they seemed ready, Ditzy dressed them with wilted lettuce and slightly deflated tomato slices.
Ditzy’s nose scrunched with concentration. The prized pack of bacon she had gotten crinkled as she laid each cut into the pan. Ditzy’s stomach growled, and not for the first time that day. She just had to be patient. She was going to sleep over at Bulk’s house over the weekend, and with these sandwiches in hand, she wouldn’t have to beg for food. She could even share one! And when things were quiet and she and Bulk were alone, she would ask him very nicely if she could stay with his folks for a little while.  It would be the first step in her master plan to smuggle herself away from her Mom.
Ditzy put all of her focus on watching the bacon fry, just in case something went wrong. She couldn’t afford to mess this up like everything else. The sizzling, savory smells of the cooking meat made Ditzy feel ravenous and joyful. 
When Ditzy Doo made food, she was alive.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
Ditzy jerked, knocking the pan off the stove. A splash of hot grease hissed in the sink as Ditzy’s wrist was yanked painfully backward.
“Nothing, Mama! Nothing, I was just hungry!” Ditzy said. Her stomach growled at the merest mention of food.
“Where did you get that?” Bubblecup demanded, pointing at the steaming pan. Ditzy could feel the heat rising behind her. She struggled to pull out of her mother’s grip or else get burned.
“You’re hurting me!”
“I didn’t buy that for you, so where did you get that?”
“Mama, please!”
“Was it that fool food drive? Didn’t I tell you WE DON'T TAKE HANDOUTS!?”
Bubblecup had learned long ago not to hit her face directly, so when her hand fell on Ditzy, it was at the meeting of the neck and the head, enough to make the girl’s ears ring. She fell to the floor, sobbing.
She wouldn’t hear the rest of the rant, but she knew its type; unfettered cruelty about her failures, her foolishness, and her eyes. She could see flames reflected in her mother’s eyes. The bacon grease had caught the curtains on fire. The fire alarm screamed. The only thought that could find purchase in Ditzy’s mind was that this was all her fault, and there was nothing she could do but sit and cry alone like she always had.





In the present, Ditzy’s knitting needles lacked a bumbling beat in her shivering hands. She had the makings of a scarf-like thing between them. It was supposed to help her focus.
“How long did this abuse go on, Ditzy?” Silver Spoon said.
“It had been a long time since she hit me. I wasn’t ready.” Ditzy said.
“Did she hit you often?”
“Only when I really messed up. But…yes, she started hitting me a long time ago. I can’t even remember the first time.”
“I see. This hypervigilance you feel, that’s a typical response to the kind of abuse you’ve suffered.”
“That’s a lot like Buck, actually. He kinda beats himself up about it when he burns something on the stove, and-”
“Hold on. We’re here to talk about you, remember?”
“Right. I’m sorry.”
“That’s fine. How about you tell me more about your high school experience?”
“Well…it was…mean. Sunset Shimmer bullied the heck out of everyone, and everyone she bullied sort of bullied everyone else, and it was…just…super angry! I felt like I was on pins and needles in Sophomore year. Anytime I messed something up, or said anything, or bumped into anything, they’d all call me Derpy and laugh!”
The scratching of Silver Spoon’s pen comforted Ditzy. It was like someone was writing the story of her life. It let her know that she was being heard.
“But then the Fall Formal happened, and Sunset apologized and suddenly everything was all, uh…”
“What?” Silver Spoon said.
“Oh, you remember! It was like being in some sorta high school musical! Everyday was an adventure; everyone was nicer and louder and just more! It was like everything came into focus; I joined the science club, I was in the Friendship Games, I mean, people in town still gave me crud sometimes, but then I started dating Bulk, and that all stopped! For three semesters, everything just kinda went my way! There was magical weirdness every once in a while, but nobody got hurt! Okay, maybe some people got hurt…but things were good for the most part. School was great, Bulk was great, I had friends, everything just sorta worked out!” Ditzy said.
“Right, Bulk…”
“Bulk Biceps!” 
“What drew you to Bulk?” Silver Spoon said.
“Bulk…wasn’t super good with words. But he was really, really caring! That, and…between you and me, he’s a big softie soft serve. A real snowflake, you know? I remember we used to watch TV, and if one of those commercials with the sad animals came on, he would just start bawling his eyes out! It was so sweet!”
“What happened between you and him?”
“Oh, uh…you’re gonna laugh.”
“No one’s going to laugh at you here. I promise.”
“He…changed his mind. He met this guy, Caramel; I think that was the name, and well…that was it.”
“Oh. Oh! That must have been a shock to you!”
 “Not really…we never did anything naughty, so I thought he was just shy. It was nice. I never thought it was because he wasn’t…you know, into me.”
“Teenage relationships can be like that; it’s a period where you’re constantly discovering new things about yourself, and that leads to a lot of experimentation with identity. That’s all to say; it’s possible that he loved you, but in more of a platonic sense than a physical one.”
“Is that a thing?”
“Of course! Attraction is a spectrum, after all. You can be attracted to a person’s physical qualities, but not their personality and vice-versa! There are all sorts of elements that could catch your interest in another person, from how they speak to what they wear, to things that are more internal on your end, like what you were attracted to in the past.”
“Wow! That’s sorta complicated…but I think I get it. I liked Bulk because of his personality, even though all of his muscles made him kinda bad to cuddle with.”
“Exactly. The reasons we gravitate toward others are often complex and multifaceted. That’s one of the reasons why relationships can get so complicated!”
“You’re telling me…”
“But we’re digressing. You said that after high school, you were trapped in Canterlot with nowhere to go.”
“That’s right. For a while, I just bounced from job to job. I really did my best to keep it together, but I made a lot of mistakes, and that meant getting fired a bunch…” Ditzy said.
“So you were stuck in Canterlot for a while yet, and eventually you moved to Our Town.  I understand the reasons why you would seek that place out, but what convinced you to stay?”





Ditzy Doo was twenty-four years old when it all started going wrong. 
Three police officers stood just inside the entrance of Our Town; the little commune that had been Ditzy’s paradise for the last two months.
To Ditzy, they looked like wolves just off a path in the woods, their eyes flickering in the lantern light.
They spoke sternly at Firelight, who was absent of his usual smile. His stance was tense; almost like he was about to lash out. Ditzy had learned to watch for that tension in her mom’s shoulders.
“Send Ditzy Doo up here. Please.” Firelight said.
The crowd opened. Ditzy Doo shrank under the sudden attention.
“You’re not in trouble,” Firelight soothed. Ditzy didn’t feel any better.
The jingling clack of Ditzy Doo’s buckled shoes on the cobblestones echoed across the quiet night. She stumbled once, but Firelight caught her.
“They’re just here to talk to you,” Firelight said. It was one of those tiny lies that children come to recognize with time. It wasn’t there to protect the innocent; it was there to save an adult a long explanation. Ditzy’s cocked eyes looked with naive fear from Firelight to the police.
“Are you Ditzy Doo?” A cop said.
“Yessir.” Ditzy squeaked.
The police looked at each other. They looked at the crowd.
“Is this your family?” They said.
“We are,” Firelight said. He placed a hand on Ditzy’s shoulder. She felt that she would fall through the ground without it.
“I’m sorry to say this, but your mother is dead.”
“What?” It was barely a whisper. 
“It was suicide. I’m sorry.”
Ditzy let out a sound that would echo through the rest of her life. It was a wail so sharp it was nearly a scream. Ditzy Doo fell to the ground, her heart tearing itself open as her thoughts raced.
It was because she left; it had to be. Her mom needed help, and Ditzy had left her alone. She ran away like the little coward she was, and now her only family in the world was dead, and it’s all your fault Ditzy Doo, it’s all your fault!
And then Sugar Belle was there. Ditzy’s first friend in Our Town. She ran to Ditzy’s side and held her. And then another villager happened by, then another, and soon, the people of Our Town surrounded Ditzy Doo and fell to their knees, weeping with her.
The whole village wailed with Ditzy Doo, pausing when she gasped for air and screaming as she screamed.
It was almost like clockwork; Ditzy’s wails waxed and waned, and the villagers followed as if it were a song. Ditzy had never been so surrounded by care and attention. It was like nothing she had ever experienced before.
The clock tower rang, and Ditzy knew that everything would be okay. She was finally safe.
So when Silver Spoon asked her years later why she had stayed in Our Town, the answer seemed obvious; it was the only place she belonged. The only place she could heal. The only place that could love her. 
Why would she ever want to leave?





Starlight Glimmer was sure that she’d gone insane. 
Whatever was in that brownie had knocked something loose in her brain. That, or her whole stay in Our Town had been one long, elaborate prank by her father. But that couldn’t be true! Starlight couldn’t be crazy, because crazy people don’t know they’re crazy and her Dad had literally never been funny a single day in his life.
With no way to logically explain how her journal had just sent her a DM, Starlight decided that the only rational course of action was the scientific method. She picked the book up from the corner she’d thrown it to and started to test it with rigor.
“No, it’s not a touch screen. What are you doing?” The red words curled across the page in a pragmatic, vaguely familiar hand. 
“If you want to take some time to process this, I can always check back later. No, I can’t see or hear you over there if that’s what you’re asking. You’ll need to write it in the journal if you want to communicate.”
Starlight, who had been opening and closing the back, turning it over, and whisper-yelling to herself, scribbled frantically.
“WHAT IS THIS? WHO ARE YOU?” Starlight wrote in all caps.
“It’s Sunset Shimmer. This is a magic journal; an artifact from Equestria. We can use it to communicate without anyone knowing.”
Starlight searched the top of her bunk for answers. It had none.
“I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!” Starlight wrote.
“Of course you do! I do, too! What you need to know right now is, yes, magic is real. No, you aren’t going crazy, and this isn’t a prank. I really am speaking to you through a magical journal.”
“Okay. I’m not panicking. I am being very calm and reasonable right now!” Starlight wrote. In her bunk, she very calmly and reasonably unleashed a protracted scream into her pillow. She counted her lucky stars that Ditzy Doo was a heavy sleeper. “Explain to me where this magic is coming from, and how you know it, and-and what’s going on!”
“It would take too long to explain! I want to help you. I’ve been reading your journal entries, and I’m on your side.”
“YOU’VE BEEN-” Starlight started to scream out loud. “You’ve been reading my JOURNAL ENTRIES!?” Starlight wrote instead.
“Yes, and I’d like to apologize for that.”
“Even the weird ones? …like the ones about Sunburst?”
“I skimmed. Look, the point is, that was a big breach of privacy, and I’d like to apologize for that. I sensed a lot of mana in you when we met, so I figured you would be involved in the magical events occurring in and around Fillydelphia.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about! What do you mean I have a lot of mana in me? Is this like an invitation to Hogwarts, or something? Am I about to get attacked by a dragon or a dark wizard!?”
“No, Starlight, you’re not Harry Potter, but you do have magical potential, and you are in danger. Power attracts power.”
“Well, what am I supposed to do about it? I’m not some superhero, I’m just…me.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. I know for a fact that you can do great things if you put your mind to it! You could save everyone in Our Town!”
“How could you possibly know that?”
“Magic,” Sunset drew a little winky face to punctuate it. Starlight couldn’t help but smile.
“Okay…how? What can I do?”
“You said that you think something strange is happening in Our Town. Tell me everything.”
She did. Starlight Glimmer told Sunset about all of the bizarre little details she’d noticed since entering the little settlement, and just as before, she felt a miraculous calm as they spoke. In practice, it wasn’t all that different from when she messaged Sunburst online. Sunset even dropped a joke here and there to lighten the mood.
“And she didn’t seem to respond to the usual stimuli of a conversation?” Sunset said.
“Right. She sounded like she was reading lines off a teleprompter. And she looked exhausted.”
“Would you say she looked noticeably grayer?”
“Maybe? It was dark.”
“I see. This could be worse than I thought.”
“What do you think is happening here?”
“Everyone I spoke to in Fillydelphia had similar testimonials. You remember what I said on the plane, about sudden bouts of lethargy and depression?”
“Yes.”
“Those are signs of magical drainage. Humans have magic in them, at least a bit, but no way to unleash it. It’s possible some sort of magical creature is siphoning that power and storing it in Our Town.”
“Don’t you think we would notice if a big, magical…thing was wandering around here, mind-controlling a bunch of weirdos in the middle of the forest?”
“You’d be amazed at the kinds of things people will overlook.”
“I guess so.”
“I have my suspicions, but I can’t make a move until I have some more information. Do you think you can give me some sketches of the runes you’ve seen around town?”
“I’ll see what I can do. I’m pretty sure those are just folklore, though. My Dad loves dumb, old decorations like that. I doubt that they’re meaningful.”
“‘Meaningful’ is a matter of perspective. If you get those runes to me, I can research them. In the meantime, keep an eye out for any magical events around town.”
“How will I know one when I see one?”
“Well, you can watch for mana streams. When magical power passes through the air, it looks like a mirage. It’s a colorful, translucent thing, and it moves across the air. If you see something like that, take note of the direction it goes in.”
“Got it.”
“And I think this goes without saying, but don’t tell anyone about this unless you completely trust them.”
“That won’t be hard. I don't trust anyone here."
"Really?"
"I only really know two people. One is a total clutz, and the other is a chatterbox.”
“Aren’t they your friends?”
“I guess?”
“If something happens, rely on them. You’re vulnerable on your own, but friendship can help you in ways you’d never anticipate.” 
“Yeesh. Did you read that on the back of a cereal box?”
“Something like that.”
“Okay, but Sunset, what happens if it really is a monster, and everyone is in danger?”
“Then we’ll face it together. You can count on that.”
Nothing else needed to be said. That was, besides “Goodnight” and some meandering thoughts about how completely insane this all was. None of that seemed to matter as Starlight laid back and stared at the bottom of Ditzy’s bunk. Sunset had spoken, er, written which such care and conviction, Starlight had no doubt that she would be true to her world.
Better than that, she now knew she wasn’t crazy for disliking this place immediately. Something was turning her Dad’s passion project into a weird supernatural incident, and she was going to get to the bottom of it.
For the first time in Starlight’s life, she had a mission. She was important. It was hard not to feel giddy about it.





To say that Starlight looked at Our Town with new eyes would be a bit of an embellishment. She had been leery of the place since she got there. She knew her father to be a man of projects, and while Our Town was a bit more than a model train set or a restored antique shelf, Starlight was more than happy to scrutinize it all the same.
With a month gone by, the buzz around the founder’s daughter arriving in town had worn off. Starlight was doing an excellent job of blending in with the hapless villagers, aside from her unimpeachable talent for frowning.
First came the runes; Starlight noticed one symbol in particular. It was some sort of fractured funnel, or maybe a mountain; several curving lines converging to a point on top. Once she spotted it once, she saw it placed surreptitiously on practically every building. It was whittled into wooden beams and carved into the cobblestones below her feet. It was everywhere.
Starlight looked around. No one was out in the streets; they were all in the Mess Hall for Dinner. She had a quick window to scribble this rune in her journal.
“I hope this drawing will do.” Starlight wrote. The book flashed and buzzed like a phone.
“That’s perfect! I’ll go ahead and look into it.” Sunset wrote.
“And you’re sure this isn’t just decoration? I feel like I’m spotting hidden ponies in Equestria Land.”
“It will take a bit of time to look it up, but you’ve done great. I’ll get back to you about this as soon as I can. Try to lay low in the meantime.”
“Roger that.”
Starlight’s version of laying low was people-watching as she pretended to eat the horrible colonial food in the mess hall. Her Dad didn’t make an appearance; she assumed that he had his own catering set up in the mansion. How else was he sending her those lunch boxes at night?
The villagers were just as amicable as ever; eating their dinner, chatting about nothing, and happily taking their dishes up before leaving the mess hall. The only suspect thing, as ever, was their friendly leer as Starlight tried to act natural. Not knowing what she was looking for exactly, Starlight resorted to the one person she knew would have gossip. 
“Starlight, getting up at five o’clock isn’t “suspicious.” Lots of people do that.” Sugar Belle said as she moved a broom around the kitchen floor.
“Well, you’ve been here for a while, haven’t you? You have to have seen something weird by now.” Starlight said.
“Besides secret hookups and little snacks that people take from the kitchen, not really. The people here are mostly on the ball, just, you know, peppy.”
“What about the execs?”
“I’m looking forward to being one! I’m pretty sure they get dental and medical.”
“Huh?”
“They’ve got some sort of medical facility that does physical therapy. It’s like a sort of reward for sticking with the program. You get some spa days before you leave, or something.”
“Really?”
“I mean, have you seen those guys running around? They’re like racehorses! Like they don’t even know they’re doing it! There’s gotta be a gym in the mansion, or something! They’re super fit.”
“Ugh. I can’t stand peppy jock types.” Starlight said.
“Did I ever tell you, you’re a little messed up?”
There was an odd smile on Sugar Belle’s face. 
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Starlight said.
“You always see the worst in people. I’ve never heard you say anything nice about anybody.” Sugar Belle said.
“Okay, so we’re naming things about each other, now? How about your attitude problem? Can they fix that in your fancy mansion gym?”
Just as a new argument was about to kick off, Ditzy Doo came stumbling into the kitchen. She looked like the aftermath of an argument at a grocery store register.
“Looks like somebody needs a spa day.” Sugar Belle said.
“A what?” Ditzy said.
“You’ve heard about that, right? The special service in the mansion?”
“Only a little bit…ugh, whatever, doesn’t matter!” 
“Uh-oh. What happened?” Starlight said.
“Let me guess. Double Diamond stood you up?” Sugar Belle said.
“…that guy has rocks in his head!” Ditzy sniffled. She started to clear the used cookware from the counter but couldn’t seem to get a grip with her shaking hands.
“He’s dense and loyal. The cute ones usually are.” Sugar Belle said.
“Oh yeah? Speaking from experience?” Starlight said. 
“Sugar Belle’s got a guy in Canterlot that she really likes. Like really, really likes.” Ditzy said with a mischievous smirk.
“Shut up! Nobodies’ talking about that! We’re just…really good friends! Like family!” Sugar Belle said, turning red.
“Suuuure.” Ditzy said. “I don’t think Double Diamond even wants to be friends. He’s just…I dunno.”
“Give it up, Ditzy. We’re not even supposed to date here.” Starlight said.
“I know…he’s just been looking really anxious lately, so I thought he’d want someone to talk to. But it’s like nothing I said could get through to him!.”
“Anxious? Anxious how?” Sugar Belle said.
“I dunno, he’s just sorta twitchy. He kept looking over my shoulder and stuff and mumbling.” Ditzy said. “Maybe he’s working on some sorta project, I don’t know.” 
“Or an escape plan,” Starlight said.
“What?” Ditzy said.
“Maybe he got tired of the food. Or the way they make us dress. Or having to act happy all the time.”
“Okay, what is up with you, lately?” Sugar Belle said. “You clearly didn’t want to come to Our Town, and I get that, but now you’re picking at this place like some sort of paparazzi! What’s your damage, Starlight? Are you trying to get us in trouble?”
“No! I’m just asking questions!” Starlight lied badly. “You have to admit how strange this place is!”
“It’s only strange when you’re new! I promise once you get used to the food-” Ditzy said.
“I am NOT getting used to the food,” Starlight growled.
“You know you’re allowed to leave if you don’t like it here? You can quit the program whenever you want. No one is forcing you to stay here and talk shit.” Sugar Belle said. 
Now Sugar Belle was sneering at Starlight, hands on her hips.
"Hey, cool it with the language..." Ditzy mumbled.
“Ditzy, help me! You have to have seen something! What about Night Glider? She was all bug-eyed and weird!” Starlight said.
“I don’t…I don’t know her! Maybe she’s always like that!” Ditzy said.
"Well, what about all the weird pictures on the walls?" Starlight said.
"That's just old colonial stuff!" Sugar Belle said.
“Come on! Something suspect is happening here, and I think my Dad is a part of it!” Starlight said.
“What? Mister Firelight is the nicest man I’ve ever met! He would never do anything to hurt us!” Ditzy said.
“You don’t know that.” Starlight said.
“I know you hate your Dad, but he’s managed to build something really impressive, and it’s helping a lot of people.” Sugar Belle said. “People like me and Ditzy, who didn’t grow up with a silver spoon in our mouth.”
Starlight’s eyes narrowed like a wolf in the brush. Her inquiry disappeared as she started to see red.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Starlight sneered.
“I’m just saying, just because Our Town isn’t working for you, that doesn’t mean you get to dump all over it.” Sugar Belle said.
“Okay, maybe we should settle down a little…” Ditzy said.
“I’m not trying to insult you! There’s some things about Our Town that just don’t add up, and I want to get to the bottom of it!” Starlight said.
“For what? So the place is weird! Lots of things are sort of weird and hokey, but they work! Do you walk into an acupuncture joint and ask a bunch of questions? No, you lay down on the table, and you let them do their work!” Sugar Belle said.
“Since when did you start defending this place? You’re always complaining about how its boring and gossiping about everyone!” Starlight said.
“That’s just talking, it doesn’t mean I hate this place! I came here for a fresh start! I wanted to move on from the person I was and be someone better, and so far, it’s working! So why do you feel the need to come in here and criticize everything?”
“Look, Our Town…there’s something off about it, and if you know what's good for you, you'd get out of here before it gets any weirder!” Starlight said.
“Oh, so now you think you know what’s good for me? Little miss perfect over here thinks she’s so smart, just because she was a straight-A student!” Sugar Belle said.
“Sugar Belle, maybe we shouldn’t.” Ditzy tried.
“Well, so was I! And you know what? It didn’t make me any better than anybody else!” Sugar Belle said.
“I don’t think I’m better than you!” 
“Ohhhh, yes you do! You think you’re better than everyone here! We can all see it; the way you look at us! You think we’re a bunch of sheep! You think you know what’s best for everyone around you, just like your friend Sunset Shimmer!” Sugar Belle had rounded on Starlight, a finger up in her face as she ranted.
“Well, maybe I wouldn’t think that if even a single one of you stopped to question what was going on in this place! The way they make you dress, and all this hard labor, and the way you all look at my Dad like hamsters on a wheel, you have to admit how it all looks!”
“Hey! This place has been great for me! This place gave me a home when I lost mine!” Ditzy barked. “Look…I know you haven’t really fit in much since you got here, but Mister Firelight really is a wonderful man, and he’s doing great work here.”
“‘Mister Firelight’ is a grown man that’s treating this place like a doll house, and you’re the dolls! I know you’re cock-eyed, but I didn’t think you were blind!”
Ditzy Doo shivered like a chihuahua as Starlight shouted at her. Her next words were barely a whimper.
“Sugar Belle is right. You don’t belong here.” 
“Did someone say my name?”
The girls all cringed as Firelight made his presence known. They hadn’t even heard him come in. He crossed the threshold to find the three women cleaning dishes, stacking cookware, and sweeping the floor with an upside-down broom in Ditzy's case.
“We were actually talking about Double Diamond, sir. Have you seen him around? I heard he hasn’t been feeling well.” Sugar Belle said.
“Well, that’s funny. I haven’t seen him all day! I wonder if he’s been staying in his bunk?” Firelight said.
“Oh no, I just talked to him a few hours ago! I think he’s just got a lot on his mind.” Ditzy said, righting the broom with fumbling hands. 
“It’s probably about Night Glider. She’s going to be wrapping up the program soon, and I know those two are as thick as thieves!” Firelight said.
“Oh, he thinks she’s thick, alright…” Sugar Belle muttered.
“But besides that, are you doing alright, Ditzy? You’re looking a bit flushed!” Firelight said. He placed a hand on Ditzy’s forehead, and she turned about three shades redder, to Starlight’s disgust.
“Oh! Um…I’m fine, sir! No need to worry!” Ditzy stammered.
“Healthy as a horse, as always! I love it!” Firelight said. “Now, I’m actually here for two reasons. First of all, Sugar Belle!”
“Yes?” Sugar Belle said.
“You’ve been doing great work ever since you got here. I talked with the executives, and we all agree that you should be promoted! How would you feel about cooking for the mansion?” Firelight said.
“Really!?” Sugar Belle said.
“Of course! Now, the promotion process is a bit involved, but I think your progress in both the kitchen and out speaks for itself. We can set you up with a room whenever you’re ready!”
“That would be great! And um…does the promotion come with more pay, for when I get out of here?”
“Of course! We'll drum up a contract with all the particulars for you to read. Whenever you’re ready to start the process, you just let one of the execs know, and we’ll get you started! Congratulations!” Firelight said, clapping Sugar Belle on the shoulder.
“That’s great, Sugar Belle! With some hard work, you’ll be on your way in no time! Though I guess it is a little sad…I feel like I’m losing a friend, almost.” Ditzy said.
“Nonsense! You’ll see each other around!” Firelight said.
Starlight didn’t bother to hide her sneer.
“With that out of the way, Sugar Belle and Ditzy, could I ask you two to leave? I’ve been meaning to talk to my widdle chipmunk cheeks here for a while!” Firelight said. Starlight smacked his hand away before he could pinch her.
“Awww…!” Ditzy said. “That’s so sweet!”
“Pfft…yeah…sweet!” Sugar Belle said, chuckling. “We’ll go ahead and give you some space. Thanks again for the promotion!”
“Take care now, ladies!” Firelight said, waving them off.
“Take care now!” They said in unison.
Starlight was disgusted to find she still had to tilt her head a bit to look at her father’s face. Firelight couldn’t seem to meet her eyes, even as he smiled that stupid smile Starlight had seen throughout her whole childhood.
“Well?” Starlight spat.
Firelight flinched. His smile wavered, but he calmly stepped away, grabbed a chair, taking a seat.
“Cheeky chops, will you sit with me?” Firelight said.
“No.” Starlight crossed her arms. “And I have a name,” Starlight said.
“You’re upset,” Firelight said.
“Oh, you figured that out? After I’ve been at your weird little summer camp for a month with you barely saying a word to me, now you’ve figured out I’m mad?”
“I haven’t been avoiding you; I’ve just been busy.”
“You’ve been “busy” my whole life! Tell me something, Dad; when have you ever not been busy?”
“Yes, that’s right, I’ve always been busy, and because I’ve been busy, you’ve never wanted for anything! Where do you think the money that put you through school came from, hm? How about the mansion you grew up in, or the car you drove to get away from it!?” Firelight said, standing up.
Suddenly, Starlight was a tiny child of five again, shivering under her sheets. The smile had fled, but then Firelight looked in his daughter’s eyes and put a hand to his forehead.
“What am I doing?” He said. 
Starlight watched her father shut his eyes and collect himself. The smile slowly returned as he sat back down.
"I know. I know you’re upset about a lot of things, and I’m sorry you feel that way.” Firelight said.
“Sorry I feel–you have been avoiding me since I got here!” Starlight snapped.
“I need you to understand. You left. You left, and then your mother…"
"You don't get to talk about my mother." Starlight hissed.
"Our Town has been my whole world for the last couple of years. I wanted there to be a place that went back to the roots of the Equestrian dream; a place where people could come and find themselves. A place where you could find your passion, find your way, maybe even find a family. It’s been a long time since we’ve been a family, hasn’t it?”
Firelight looked up at his daughter. She had never seen him look so small and tired.
“Dad, I’m sorry. It’s just, you always do this! You put all your attention on some dusty historical project, and while you polish it up, you leave everyone on the side! Do you have any idea what that did to me? What that did to Mom?” Starlight said.
“Your mother used to be out of the house six days a week, doing errands or rallying for a cause. We both had our own worlds, but when we got together, it was nothing but love. God, I miss her so much, Starlight.” Firelight said.
A sharp inhale. Starlight was shaking.
“It wasn’t easy to pull all of this together, but you can see the result. Good people, making good decisions for themselves, without having to worry about how it will impact their bottom line. A place where anyone can be stable and free! It’s not the best thing I’ve ever created, of course.”
“Well, what is?” Starlight said.
“You, Honeybun.” Firelight said.
Starlight froze up. She saw a bit of wetness in the corner of her father’s eye.
“I see you here, all grown up, strong and proud and so much like your mother! …look, I know that times have been hard. I know things were hard for you when you left home, and I thought with Our Town, you’d be able to feel safe. Like when you were young.”
“By treating me like a child!?”
“I understand if you hate me. If you want to leave, I’m not going to stop you. I just thought that this place could be home for you. And maybe, we could try and be a family again.”
Starlight was lost. This was what she wanted, wasn’t it? She wanted her father to feel bad; to show even an ounce of remorse about the harm he’d caused for years, but now that she was getting it, it was hollow. For a few agonizing ticks of the clock, Starlight felt like a wind chime in a snowstorm.
Starlight choked up. Her words came out shakily as she kneeled down to meet her father at eye level.
“I don’t hate you, Dad. I love you. Of course I do! I didn’t come here to put down that work, I…I came here to figure things out!”
“Right,” Firelight said.
“I don’t want to be angry at you forever, but you need to stop running away from what you did, and start working with me. We can…we can be a family again, but it’s going to take time.”
And Firelight hugged his daughter tightly, and it was every gentle embrace that Starlight had felt in her childhood. She never wanted to lose this feeling again. She hugged her father back.
“I’m so glad you decided to come home. I’m going to fix this, I swear!” Firelight said.
The clock tower rang the hour in. All the weight slumped out of Starlight’s shoulders. The boiling fury, the sadness of abandonment, and the jagged bedrock of spite she had built up for her father, it all circled a drain in Starlight’s head. 
She was grateful to be here. Grateful that she had this chance to fix what was broken in her life. Grateful her father had made a place for her to start again. 
Starlight’s eyes shot open.
It was there for barely a second; a mirage of sparkling orange light drifting away from the tender embrace, joined by a brighter cyan glow. They fluttered through the kitchen window like confetti streamers, then shot with an arrow’s arch toward the clock tower. Emotions carried away on a breeze.
A scream strangled into a whimper in Starlight’s throat.
She parted with Firelight after a few moments and said nothing but a thoughtless affirmation as she headed for her bunk. She was strangely empty of emotions at first, but as she crossed the village, she felt a chill run through her.
She was carrying a contradiction. She wanted to tear this place apart. She wanted to save everyone here. She hated her father. 
She loved her father.
By the time Starlight made it to her bunk, the sun had set. She had been wandering in a daze, but none of the villagers seemed to notice. Ditzy was already fast asleep, and chances were she wouldn’t want to talk. That left Starlight with only one person to turn to.
She took a deep breath and tried to push back the panic that was rising in her head. Finally, she brought her pen to the page.
“It’s feeding on my Dad, too.”





It was the current year and the present day when a changeling scout crawled through a window in downtown Canterlot. Changelings never cared much for timekeeping; all they knew was "Now" and "Not now." But if this changeling had been taught to read a clock, it would know that it was around 8 am. 
It was dressed in a plain face. A face called Norman. Its mission was to acquire some material for the Queen. It had never been taught to question why.
The scout straightened its shoulders and walked down the corridor. The high sun cast beams through the windows, across the beige walls and soft carpeting.
“Soft.”
The scout bent down to run its fingers across the plush fibers across the floor. It wasn’t used to soft. Soft felt nice. Soft was good. Felt good between the fingers. Fingers. Fingers were still new.
“You drop a penny or something?”
The scouts snapped to attention with a rehearsed smile. Hungry. Someone in a suit walked past, not paying attention. The scout rose and watched the interloper leave. The mission. Find one face in particular. 
The scout waited for the interloper to pass. It continued the mission.
There were rectangles on the doors. The scout knew rectangles and their symbols, the Queen made sure of it. A lot of time making mouth sounds to rectangles and words. The scout pointed at the rectangles on the doors and read them carefully until it found its target.
“Silver Spoon.” The scout read. 
This is where the face would be. A person of some importance to the Prize. A face that was valuable to the queen. The scout giggled with glee as it reached for the handle.
The scout blinked. It looked around at the beige walls and soft carpeting.
Soft.
As it bent down to run its fingers across the plush fibers beneath its feet, the scout tilted its head in confusion.
Office. Norman. Hallway. Rectangles? Rectangles! The scout knew rectangles and their words.
The scout rose and pointed at the rectangles on the doors, reading them carefully until it found its target.
“Silver Spoon.” The scout read. See Silver Spoon. Get the material. It reached for the door handle, giggling with glee.
The scout blinked. Office. Norman. Hallway? Hungry. Hungry! No! Mission! 
Now the scout trembled like a two-year-old in a dark hallway. Confusion. Hunger. Fear. Focus! Mission. Silver Spoon. Material.
The scout read through the rectangles on the doors and found the name Silver Spoon. Mission! Fast! The scout grabbed the handle.
Office?
“No!” The scout hissed.
“God, these things are dumb.” Sweetie Drops said.
The changeling convulsed as electricity danced through its body. 
Pain! Fear! Failure. Sad! Cold! Cold. Cold...
It was dead before it hit the ground.
“Better clean this up before anyone sees.” Sweetie Drops grumbled, pocketing her taser and memory stone. The creature was incredibly light; Sweetie Drops didn’t even have to strain as she lifted it and dumped it out a window. It hit the alley floor with a low splat. It would melt away within the hour.
“Anything else want to get in my way today?” Sweetie Drops sighed. She moved through the office space on light feet, tilting her head around a corner to check for any more drones.
Instead, she saw the lady known as Silver Spoon sitting in a cozy little lounge, quickly flipping through a book titled “The Essential Role of Therapy.”
“What the hell am I doing?” Sweetie Drops wondered for the third time this week. She straightened her shoulders and remembered to simply act natural instead of skulking around like a spy. Somehow, a full night's sleep hadn't been enough.
As she made her way down the hall and out of the building, Sweetie Drops failed to notice Silver Spoon glancing around the lounge, picking up office supplies, and turning them over to examine them with gleeful curiosity. 
“How are things coming along with that air lift?” Sweetie Drops said. “Yes, I know this is unorthodox, but lives are on the line. I swear, nothing and no one will get hurt; have a little faith! They are taking care of it. He’s fine, I’m sure. I mean, you know better than I do how to get them moving. Yes? Yes, we’ll pay for the feed, just get it done. Okay. Thank you so much.”
Sweetie Drops hung up her phone with a groan. A pale green hand patted her shoulder.
“That bad, huh?” Lyra said. There was sympathy on her face, but Sweetie Drops could tell she wasn’t happy with yet another diversion from the day’s festivities.
“Work is a real killer this week. But I swear, I’m not gonna let it stop us from having fun!” Bon Bon said, smiling. "Now, where were we?"
“You were gonna get us some ice cream!”
“And when did I say I was paying for it?”
“Come ooooon Bonnie! I spotted you last time!”
“You spotted me at the gym, yes. That’s not the same thing!”
“That’s totally the same thing! Besides, I heard that Sugar Cube Corner’s new flavor is like super good! Like O.M.Goodness good!”
And just like that, the pair headed down the street. Bon Bon's morning had already been sidelined, so she hoped against hope that Agent Sweetie Drops wouldn't be needed for the rest of the day.





“And you’re sure you saw it?” Sunset wrote.
Once again, Starlight was in Our Town, and her memories were starting to speed down a track she had traced over and over in the intervening years. The sun was setting, and Starlight was alone in her bunk.
“I know what I saw! My Dad’s emotion, or his mana, or whatever flew away just like everyone else’s! There’s something in the clock tower that’s draining everyone in this place!”
“And you don’t think it’s your Dad?”
“...I think he thinks he’s genuinely helping people.”
“I see. Well, I have good news, bad news, and really bad news. Which do you want to hear first?”
“It doesn’t matter! The good news, I guess!”
“The good news is that I’ve translated the rune you gave me.”
“Okay? What does it mean? It’s just a bunch of squiggly lines to me.”
The red ink crossed the journal page, drawing the strange funnel of converging lines that Starlight had seen around town.
“This is the Delta rune. Like a river delta. It’s supposed to represent a dispersal of energy. But it's inverted; purposefully drawn upside down.”
“So what?”
“It’s been drawn in such a way that it does the opposite of its purpose. Instead of dispersing a stream of mana, it takes a thin cloud of mana and focuses it into a stream. Like a funnel.”
“Okay, so that’s how all of the energy from the townsfolk is being sent to the clock tower?”
“Exactly! Whatever this thing is, it isn’t attacking people directly. It’s draining their energy from a distance.”
“That’s good, right? By comparison?”
“It’s still bad. It's already drained individuals of all their magic before.”
“It has?”
“I believe it was responsible for the state of the people I interviewed. It can probably drain anyone that gets close to it. So it's dangerous. Whatever is orchestrating this knows what it's doing. And that brings me to the really bad news. This rune is ancient stuff. It’s so old, they don’t even use it in Equestria anymore. The last people on record to use these runes were part of a religious group. The Order of the Horned Lord.”
“I knew it! This place is a cult!”
“What little information I could drum up was pretty vague. The Order of the Horned Lord worshipped creatures with magical powers, like unicorns. I have reason to believe that their “god” of sorts was the centaur Tirek.”
“Tirek? Like, The Devil? Like ‘Tirek’s Revenge’, Tirek?”
“You play Tirek’s Revenge?”
“Some guys at my college used to keep me up at night playing that stupid game in the next dorm over. Isn’t the correct spelling Tirac? I think I saw that on a test once.”
“Sort of.” 
“Tirek isn’t real! That’s the point! He’s just a lie that parents tell their kids to make them behave; like Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy.”
“He’s very real. He’s imprisoned in Tartarus, which is also a real place, where real magical monsters get locked up when they cause too much trouble.”
“So Hell is real?”
“Is that your version of Tartarus?”
“Yes? No? I don’t know, I kind of slept through my World Mythology class.”
“You went to school for Mathematics, and you slept through something cool like World Mythology? Are you even fucking human?” Buck balked, from the future.
“Shut the fuck up, Buck!” Starlight snarled.
“Sorry, sorry, that’s insensitive.” Buck said.
“What I found is that Tirekian runes were used by some of the oldest settlers of the United States of Equestria. That’s scary enough on its own, but this world isn’t supposed to have magic. It didn’t until relatively recently. It's possible something powerful came over from Equestria. Something with knowledge of old, forbidden magic.”
“You don’t think…the literal devil is hiding out in Our Town?”
“No. As far as anyone knows, he’s still imprisoned. I think it may be one of his minions, which is better for us. Whatever it is, Our Town is systematically feeding it.”
“So it’s not The Devil, but it’s probably a demon. In what way is that better?”
“It’s a smaller scale threat, for one. One that can be contained.”
“Okay, so now what? Do we call the army? The Men in Black?”
“I’m sorry to say, but it's just me.”
“You’re joking.”
“I wish I was.”
“What about your club of paranormal investigators? Why can’t they get in here and do some ghost-busting?”
“It’s not as simple as that.”
There was a long pause, during which Starlight wondered just what was going through Sunset’s head. Despite the confusion and rising fear, Starlight felt a bit giddy. In one conversation, Our Town had gone from a strange, ineffable prison to a problem that could be solved.
“Let’s just say that there aren’t a lot of people that can pony up when the going gets tough. But that’s alright. If you can get me into Our Town, I can handle this myself.” Sunset wrote.
“Why can’t you just sign up for the program here? They’ll let you in that way.”
“Are you kidding? Their screening process is nuts.”
“What screening process?”
“Did you not sign up through their website?”
“No, I just told my Dad I was coming home, and he gave me instructions on how to get here.”
“When you sign up for Our Town, you have to fill out this huge survey and a non-disclosure agreement. That survey has some pretty personal questions, asking for banking details and proof, your home life, and where you live and went to school. Weirdly specific stuff. And the waiting list is really long!”
“I guess they only want a certain kind of person here.”
“That’s one way to look at it. Either way, I managed to track someone who lived in Our Town, and I found out how to get there.”
“So what’s the problem? Just sneak in and do whatever you do.”
“Did you know you’re living in a fortress? The walls are thick, and too tall to climb, and there’s security cameras everywhere. There’s no way for me to get in without being spotted.”
“Can’t you just use your magic to fly in on a broom?”
“There’s no way I can just fly over the wall without being seen. I’ll need someone on the inside to let me in.”
“Because that will be easy, right? How am I supposed to get the gate open without anyone noticing?”
“Maybe you don’t need to. Do you still have your phone?”
“No, they take your phone when you show up. Some dumb folksy idea about clearing away modern distractions.”
“Do you know where they keep everyone’s phones?”
“No…but I can guess.”
“The mansion, right. If you can send me a picture of the inside of the mansion, that might be enough for me to teleport in.”
“Really? You think that would work?”
“In theory. Do you know anyone that works in the mansion?”
“Well, there’s Sugar Belle, I guess.”
“Sugar Belle? Sugar Belle is there?”
“Yes. She’s the chatterbox I told you about. Do you know her?”
Another pause. Starlight narrowed her eyes.
“...yes. Sort of. Sugar Belle is trustworthy. I really recommend you get her help for this, if you can.”
“Oh, what, you think I can’t figure this out on my own?”
“In times like this, it never hurts to have a friend!”
“We’re not friends. We’re not even on speaking terms right now.”
“What happened?”
“It wasn’t my fault! I was asking about weird things around town, and some things were said, and they freaked out at me!”
“I see.”
“But she’s up for a promotion. She’s going to be working in the mansion, and she’s a total gossip. She’ll probably find out where the phones are in no time.”
“But that also puts her in harm’s way of whatever is lurking in the clock tower.”
“Ugh. This is getting complicated.”
“Hang in there! Once you get your phone, just call me up and we can go from there.”
“How is that going to help?”
“Once you call me, I should be able to handle the rest. Try to patch things up with Sugar Belle; she’s your best chance of getting into the mansion.”
“But she hates me!”
“I’m sure she'll come around. Sugar Belle is really very sweet, but she can be really defensive.” 
“Well, why don’t you ask her, if she’s so sweetl?”
“She…definitely wouldn’t want to talk to me.” Sunset said after a moment.
“Oh yeah, that sounds real reasonable. I’ll get right on that.” Starlight rolled her eyes.
“Take your time, and be careful. You’re in more danger than you know.”
“What do you mean?”
“Magic can change living things in drastic ways. If your Dad, or Sugar Belle or anyone else starts to get strange on you, there’s no shame in running away.”
“I’m not running away from this! I’m a part of it now, and I’m going to see it through.”
“That determination really is impressive. Here’s another tip. When people’s emotions are drained, they tend to fall into a sort of trance. They need a little kick in the pants to snap them out of it.”
“Like, violently?”
“No, no, I mean emotionally! You need to appeal to them emotionally; find something that causes them an emotional reaction. It could be something negative, but it’s better if it’s something happy.”
“Like what?”
“Like, I don’t know…bring up their favorite hobby, or a song they like.”
“Wow. You really have done this before.”  
“I’ll do everything I can on this end. Take care of yourself over there!”
“Thank you. Without you, I’d just think I’m going crazy here. It’s nice to know that someone is looking out for me.” Starlight wrote. She went to cross that out, but it faded before she could catch it. 
“You're not crazy; you're just in a crazy circumstance. I need to go. This might be the last time I can talk for a while."
"What? Why?"
"I'm being followed, and something tells me it's not a Rainbooms fan that's tailing me. If you don't hear from me, remember to rely on your friends."
"But who's going to watch out for me with you gone!? What am I supposed to do if something happens?"
"Whatever happens, I'll take care of you. I promise."





The next day, Starlight Glimmer was greeted by the usual crowd of staring eyes and shining smiles. Starlight tried to meet them with the same manufactured gentility, but her cheeks hurt by the time she made it to the Mess Hall. Sugar Belle was nowhere to be found. Twice, Starlight passed Ditzy Doo at a distance, but she refused to meet her eyes.
They were actively avoiding her now, and she couldn’t decide if she was angry or sad. Starlight wanted to tell them flat out that a monster was feeding on their energy, but she couldn’t be sure if they would tell her Dad. She was running out of people to trust.
With no one else to turn to, Starlight went to the Rec’s computer lab for a second opinion.
“So let’s say, hypothetically, someone was really mad at me, but I needed their help for…” Starlight paused and almost smiled when she realized she had typed out honest-to-goodness ellipses. “...a project.”
“Sounds like typical college stuff. What’s the project?” Sunburst said.
“It’s uh…a photography project.”
“Funny you should mention that! My Mom just sent me a bunch of pictures from when we were kids!”
“Any good ones?”
“A lot of them are interiors of your old house, actually. From back when my Mom sold it to your folks. There’s even shots of your housewarming party!”
“I didn't know that! No wonder the place was so tacky.” Starlight smarmed. 
“I don’t know, I thought it was cozy.”
“We’re getting off track. I need some extra eyes, but the group isn’t working together. What do I do?”
“What did you say to make them mad at you?”
“Why do you automatically assume it’s my fault?”
“Because I know you. You’re the smartest person I know, but you’re also the most opinionated. Well, you were until about a month ago.”
“Right, you’re ‘making friends’ over there.”
“I am! They put me on a great new hobby that I think you’d really like!”
“Tell me about it later! I need your help!”
“Then tell me what you said!”
“I said that they aren’t paying attention to what’s going on around them, okay?”
“And what’s going on around them? Is something happening in Our Town?”
“I can’t say.”
“Right, you signed that NDA.” Sunburst said.
Sunburst sent a little gif of Micheal Scott from The Office doing a facepalm.
“Just trust me when I say this project is important.” Starlight said.
“I do trust you. Here’s the deal, Starlight. If you want people to work with you, you’ve got to stop talking to them like you’re always right.”
“But I am right!” Starlight said it out loud as she typed it, then covered her mouth.
“Yes, but if I’ve learned anything from school just recently, it’s not about what you say, but how you say it. In the words of a surprisingly wise man;”





“You’re not wrong, you’re just an asshole.” Buck said.
In the dark of the cave, Starlight glared at Buck’s underlit face. There was nothing smug about his expression, but Starlight was shocked. What she realized at that moment, she knew Buck had figured out, too.
"Stop looking at me like that." Starlight growled.
"Like what?" Buck said.
"Like you're looking right through me! Stop it! I had enough of people staring in Our Town!" Starlight said.
“You know, it’s funny, because he’s right. I bet you’d be way into tabletop games if you tried them.” Buck said, looking at the ceiling.
“Is that what you want? For me to sit at a table next to you and my worst enemy and yell at pieces of plastic?”
“Yeah, that sounds pretty cool.”
“If I say yes, will you give me your mana so we can get out of here?”
The bonfire of red light had grown again, but Starlight could tell it wouldn’t be enough to get them out. Buck knew it, too, and he knew that she knew that he knew and Starlight was about to get up and slug him again. Before Starlight could start arguing, Buck leaned forward and stared at his shoes.
“What’s she going to do to me?”
“You know what Adagio does, already.”
“No, I mean The Queen. Chrysalis. If Chrysalis gets her hands on me, what’s she going to do?”
Starlight's hand went to the replica memory stone in her pocket. She couldn't risk triggering Buck, and more than that, she couldn't risk him finding out that he'd been lied to. Now was a chance to do a bit of damage control.
“She’ll try and drink you dry. That’s what she did the first time she attacked you. Though, since it's you, she’ll probably drink her fill, then stick you in a cocoon for later.”
In the deepest shadows on the floor of the cave, a pair of pale blue compound eyes watched with a predator’s focus. The eyes were set on the head of a small snake. One of the garters that were common in the Everfree region. It could hear everything that was said, and it understood almost all of the words.
Funny.
Attacked.
Drink.
“You saved me then, didn’t you? That time in my apartment?”
“Ditzy saved you. I just helped a little.”
“Yeah, what a wuss, right? Y’all saved me. Shouldn’t’ve had to.”
“I tried to warn you. Do you remember that? When she was in your apartment, playing Adagio.”
"Is that what happened?" Buck said, rubbing his temple.
"You don't remember because you fainted. It all happened very fast."
"Okay, well, I may not remember, but I'm sorry for not hearing you out."
“Well, you’re...You’re hearing me out now, aren’t you?”
“Yeah. And by the way, I do get where you're coming from with all of this."
"Do you?"
"It’s one of the worst feelings in the world; when you know something bad is about to happen, but no one will listen. You think you can just handle it on your own…”
“But a part of you knows you can’t. Yes.”
Buck smiled joylessly. Maybe he did understand, after all.
“What happened next?” Buck said.
Starlight looked up at the ceiling and thought about it. 
Listen, thought the eyes in the dark.
Feelings.
Next.





A shadow fell over Starlight's computer screen. Starlight closed her tab at the speed of a teenager hiding a slashfic, spinning in her swivel chair.
"Oh, hi Starlight! I didn't know it was you! All done for the night?" Said Party Favor.
"No. I'm having a private conversation."
"Well I'm sorry to say that your time's up! We need to clear out the lab for renovations!"
"Renovations?"
"That's right! They're going to redo the wires in here! The internet is going to be down for a while!"
"What do you mean for a while!? We barely get to use it as is!"
"I'm sorry if that's inconvenient, but Mister Firelight said-"
"Whatever! Whatever, Party Favor!" Starlight got up and stomped her way to the door. She could swear she heard Party Favor mutter something behind her back, but when she turned, he was just staring at her with that plastic smile that everyone else wore. Starlight marched briskly down the path, trying to ignore the eyes all around as primal anxiety prickled at her brain. 
The net was closing. Whatever was draining Our Town must have known she was up to something. Any one of these nights, something was going to sneak into Starlight's bunk and snatch her up, she knew it, and everyone around her was blind if they couldn't see the nightmare taking place. 
When Starlight returned to her bunkhouse, she found that everything was unsettled. The wardrobe was wide open, as were the drawers. She scrambled to check for her journal and found it was still where she had hidden it. All of her belongings were still there, though the little lunchbox she had come to expect was missing.
But Ditzy’s weren’t. Her simple clothes were gone, her bunk was freshly made, and there was an open envelope on the little corner table. It was addressed to Ditzy Doo.
Starlight read it without hesitation, and her heart sank into a paralyzing dread.
Panic struck her immediately. Starlight tore out of her room and into the streets of Our Town, hoping she'd catch Ditzy's back in the crowd. She instead saw people waving to each other as they retreated to their own bunkhouses. She was surrounded by smiles again beneath eyes that judged silently, watching for any twitch that would give her away. Starlight clenched her fists and smiled right back.
She wouldn't get any sleep that night.





Silver Spoon had been gone for a while. 
Ditzy was just starting to wonder if her therapist would come back at all when the door clicked. She jumped.
"Are you okay?" Silver Spoon said.
"I'm fine, I'm fine! It's just, you know, you usually knock." Ditzy said.
"Right, that's my mistake! Now, are you ready to continue?" Silver Spoon said. She looked to Ditzy expectantly, notepad open, a peculiar smile on her face. Ditzy wasn't paying much attention. She was trying not to sink between the floorboards.
"I don't know about ready..." Ditzy trailed off.
Ditzy Doo would never look back on those days intentionally. Instead, echoes of her pain would sneak up on her in the quiet moments of the day; shadows with long, trailing claws waiting to snatch her by the throat at any second. They appeared when she least expected; in a stranger's laugh on the streets, the moment she finished cleaning up a spill, or on her daughter's own face. Now, as she recounted her trauma, she felt a nauseous pain rising in her stomach. She knew she would get through it, but only if she had the courage to keep moving forward.





Ditzy Doo shook as a long yawn escaped her mouth. 
She truly believed she was good for two things; cleaning and knitting. She had learned knitting just recently, but cleaning up was second nature to her. She did all the cleaning in her childhood home because the place would turn into a wreck when she didn't. 
She’d been given a few job options as a trial executive, and the only one she felt confident about was tidying up the bottom floor of the mansion. She should have been in her element, but she was honestly terrified. She hadn’t gotten any sleep since she was told she could be an executive; her nerves were totally shot. It took so much effort to stop herself from shaking as she took an antique feather duster in hand; she felt that even the slightest twitch of the arm would send something flying.
With great anxiety, Ditzy ran her fingers over the ancient flip phone that she had been given. There was no chance to scroll social media; the phone was too primitive for that, and who would she contact, anyway? The only family she had left was here in Our Town.
From the outside, the Our Town Mansion cut an imposing, steepled shape, with its clock tower overlooking the sleepy village beneath it. Ditzy had expected the inside to be sweeping and gothic, like something out of Scooby-Doo or an old Regency drama. What she found instead was much more… kitschy.
After handling the majority of the downstairs area, Ditzy Doo was cleaning up the living room, dusting off a rose-patterned couch that looked tantalizingly comfy. There was even a little coffee table with some stacked books that looked just tall enough for someone to put their feet up.
The salmon wallpaper was dappled with white polka dots, and the warm-colored wooden floors had long rugs running down the halls. The lights were recessed into the ceiling, casting the whole place in a stark artificial glow. The curtains even stood out with their pink and green stripes, tying the rooms together in an aesthetic that Ditzy likened to a thrift store’s drapery section.
Ditzy took extra care in dusting off the old but still impressive stereo system; then she moved to the stubby coffee table with a board game box on it.
"Dragon Pit? That's an old one...wow." Ditzy mused.
The whole place had a homey feel to it, or maybe the word was “homely”. It was like a dream home…designed by Hasbro. 
Ditzy couldn’t be sure if it was strange or incredibly comfortable. What she was certain of is that this 70’s home shopping catalog of a mansion on the hill was surprisingly dusty, and so Ditzy Doo took to cleaning as if everything was made of glass. She couldn't fall into her usual clutzy ways or risk breaking some precious knickknack.  Too much was riding on her success here, and she was so tired of being an embarrassment.
She was determined not to screw this up because if she did, well…she didn’t know what she would do. She couldn’t admit that this was just another house she had ruined. If she failed here, it would confirm all of the brutal honesty her mother had spoken. The pull of that looming despair threatened to unravel Ditzy at the seams.
At the same time, she’d been up for so long, and she’d been working so hard; surely there was nothing wrong with taking a little nap, right? I mean, it’s not like anyone was in the mansion during the day; they were probably all out in the town, doing...whatever executives did. And she was so tired. Nobody would notice.
Feeling far too tired to turn it over in her head, Ditzy Doo felt the magnetic pull of the old couch. Before she knew it, her head was on the soft arm cushion. 
Even without the clock tower’s ring, Ditzy found herself reflecting as she drowsed. She had so much to be thankful for; this job, this place, and all of the wonderful people…excluding a very rude someone who she was still very much nettled at. Ditzy put Starlight from her mind. She had found her place, truly, and so long as she did as she was told, there was nothing to worry about.
With a deep yawn, Ditzy Doo started to drift away.
“It’s a nice couch, isn’t it?”
Ditzy was yanked from her daydream like a fish on a line. She sputtered and flailed onto the floor. Her hand whipped at the coffee table, sending a book sailing into the air.
It was caught by a well-placed purple hand.
“M-M-Mister Firelight!”
“Hey there, Ditzy Doo! Did I interrupt your nap?” Firelight chuckled. He leaned down and offered Ditzy a hand up, which she took with all the poise of a mouse found in the pantry.
“I, that is, uh, no, I, uh…it is! It is a nice couch!” Ditzy’s words tumbled out of her mouth as she frantically adjusted her apron and hair. Her eyes darted around, looking for an escape hatch, when she noticed that Firelight had brought in a full tea cart with a pot and a couple of small cups.
“If was my wife’s choice. She always loved a good floral pattern. Really, this whole place is hers. I was never much good at home decor.”
“Me either!” Ditzy tittered nervously. She felt like she was standing under a spotlight, waiting for Firelight to snap at her. Instead, the stately founder of Our Town was staring at a family photo on a nearby shelf.
“Is that right? But you’re so good at keeping things tidy; a figured you had a knack for feng shui!” Firelight said, smiling.
“Uh, do you want me to move some things around in here?” Ditzy said.
“No,” Firelight said sharply.
There was a moment of silence. Ditzy Doo fiddled with her hair, her knees shaking so much they threatened to knock together. After a bit, the tension was too much for her to bare.
“...I’m sorry, Mister Firelight! I didn’t mean to fall asleep; it’s just I’ve been so excited to go executive and this place is so neat and carefully laid out, and I-I-I-”
“It’s fine. I don’t care if you take breaks, Ditzy. As long as you get the job done, that’s all that matters to me!”
“Really?”
“You can’t spell “exceptional” without “exception”! Now, how do you feel about chamomile?” Firelight said, pouring himself a cup of tea.
“...oh! Um, I wouldn’t mind having some!” Ditzy said. She awkwardly plopped down onto the couch next to Firelight as he graciously poured her a cup. “Did…you come here to make sure I was working?”
“No, I knew you’d be working hard. I came down to tell you that you can take a break! That’s why I brought the tea, and all.”
“Wow! Thank you, that’s so nice of you! If I’m being honest, I’m not really used to a boss that…trusts me.”
“I agreed to let you dust because I wanted to know I could trust you! That’s what this job is about; showing everyone that Ditzy Doo is dependable!”
“Well, that’s a relief! Wait…this was a test?”
“That’s right, sweetheart! And you passed! I’ve already had a look around; you’ve left the bottom floor spotless, just like you were asked!”
Ditzy Doo was caught completely off guard. Firelight placed the book she had knocked away in the exact spot it had been on the top of the little stack. He moved so casually, and yet the placement was extraordinarily meticulous.
“So, I did a good job?”
“You did better than expected by a country mile!”
“Better than expected?”
“Well, certainly! The other executives had their doubts, let me tell you! Most of them were convinced you’d make a bit of a mess.” Firelight said. “But I told them! I told them not to count you out, and look at you! You’re fantastic at this!”
 Ditzy Doo deflated.
“I mean, I’ve always been a little clutzy…it’s not easy to stay balanced with eyes like these.”
“Where are you from, Ditzy? It was Canterlot, wasn’t it?”
“Yes sir, Mister Firelight. I moved away from Canterlot to…get away from my Mom.”
“Right. I remember. Terrible business, that was. At least she’s in a better place now.” Firelight said gravely.
“I sorta doubt it…” Ditzy Doo muttered.
“What’s that, dear?”
“Nothing!”
“I hope you’re not still hurting from that whole ordeal, Ditzy.”
“I…haven’t done a lot of talking about it. I mean, she was my Mom. I was her whole world I just up and left, and…”
“Well, what’s important is that you don’t stress about it. We all make mistakes, after all.”
“...what?”
“That’s what the police report said, wasn’t it? A stress-related heart attack? Something like chronic empty-nest syndrome.”
“No, they said it was…it was suicide.”
“Oh. So, she died of a broken heart?”
“I wouldn’t say that…”
“Well, that’s in the past, anyway. As I said, mistakes happen, but no matter how big, we have to keep moving forward. And I think you’ve done just that since you came to Our Town! You were like a baby deer when you first came through our gates, scared of your shadow and shaking with every step. But now, well, look at you! You’ve really proven yourself, Ditzy. I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you, Mister Firelight. That really means a lot, coming from you.”
“Nonsense. Anyone that can see straight knows you’re a marvel, Ditzy!” Firelight said, and as he laid a reassuring hand on Ditzy’s shoulder, she felt like she was truly anchored to the ground. Safe.
“Right…I’m maybe not the best at seeing straight. But I can at least aim a feather duster, right?”
“Hahah! Exactly! So, how do you feel about going executive? Do you think you’re ready for more responsibility?”
“Um…to be honest, I’m having second thoughts.”
“Whatever for?”
“Well, the executives are so dependable and strong and nice, and I’m just…me. And I don’t think they really trust me.”
“Who said they don’t trust you, Ditzy? What, was it Double Diamond?”
“No! No, sir, it-”
“Firelight is fine, Ditzy. We’re all friends here.”
“That, uh…no, uh, Firelight, Double Diamond never said anything like that to me.”
“Well, good. We don’t tolerate any disparaging remarks around here! Etiquette is a top priority here in Our Town, but you already know that. No one comes to Our Town because they’re perfect. They come here for a fresh start, and proper guidance! Isn’t that right?”
“Yes sir-uh, I mean uh…Firelight. Yes, that’s right.”
“Good. Now, it’s about time for me to get back to work. Tell you what, Ditzy, if you ever need any of that good old guidance, feel free to tell me anything, alright? You’re in good hands, here.” Firelight stretched his arms and rose with half of a yawn.
Firelight turned to leave, but Ditzy grabbed his hand.
“Mister-that is…Firelight? Can I ask you something? Something serious?”
“Of course, Ditzy! Anything at all.”
“Do you think that…if I do good here, do you think I could stay? Here in Our Town, I mean? Do you think I could stay here?”
“You want to stay?”
“It’s just, I know that the program’s rules are that it’s four months and then executive for a while and then that’s it, but…I like it here! I know Sugar Belle’s probably going to be done soon, but I’m not ready to go out into the world again!”
“Well…I’m sorry Ditzy, but the program is the way it is for a reason! You know, people come to Our Town because they need to fix something up in themselves, and I understand feeling nervous about moving on, but-”
“As soon as I leave this place, I…I won’t have anything left. I won’t be an executive of Our Town, I’ll just be this weird girl with messed-up eyes again. I can’t go back to that!”
Ditzy Doo’s cheeks were hot with tears. She looked up at Firelight like a lost child. His face was impassive as he took in her ramble, and Ditzy thought then that this was it; that she’d ruined everything, that the pressure of this program really was too much for her, and this was all pointless, and she was going to be out on the street. She braced herself, ready for old scars to open, but instead, she was warmed. Firelight was holding her.
“It’s alright, Ditzy. I’ve got you,” Firelight said. 
For a time, Ditzy squeezed him. He felt like a sturdy pillar, one strong enough to hold up the roof of the world. He was warm. Then, Firelight pulled back and touched her cheek. 
“Do you still want to be an executive?” Firelight said.
“Yes, sir.” Ditzy sniffled.
“Then I’ll need to be able to trust you. Can you keep a secret?” Firelight said.
“Yes sir!”
“We have some special privileges here in the mansion. A sort of spa room. We use old techniques I found when I was researching to build this place; ones that go all the way back to the founding of the U.S.E. We can fix all sorts of problems there; physical, mental, and spiritual. It’s like…”
“Magic?” Ditzy offered.
Magic had always been trouble as far as Ditzy was concerned, but magic could do all sorts of things. Magic could fix people; she’d seen it with Sunset Shimmer, Gloriosa Daisy, and even Twilight Sparkle.
“How would you like to have your eyes fixed, Ditzy?” Firelight said.
“You could do that!?”
“Anything’s possible, Ditzy Doo. Some rules may seem set in stone, but-”
“You can’t spell “exceptional” without “exception”?”
Firelight and Ditzy chuckled together, but then Firelight’s hand on Ditzy’s shoulder tightened.
“I’m serious, Ditzy. You can’t tell anyone about this. I know I don’t have to tell you the reasons why. You’ve been doing great with the program, but if you really want to stay, well…I’ll consider it.”
“Thank you, Sir!”
“Firelight.”
“Thank you, Firelight! Thank you so much!” Ditzy Doo said. She threw her arms around the man’s neck and squeezed him tight until he awkwardly patted her back. They shared a bashful smile, and Ditzy looked away, a deep blush on her face.
“But Ditzy Doo, you have to promise, you’ll follow through.” Firelight said.
“Of course I will! Whatever I need to do, you can bet I’ll do it!” Ditzy said.
“And I promise you, as long as you make good, as long as you do as you’re told, everything’ll come up Ditzy!”
And Ditzy Doo nodded, balling up her fists with determination, ready to finish her work. The clock tower rang, and Ditzy Doo closed her eyes, as she’d done every day since she’d arrived at Our Town. It was finally happening. The one thing she had wanted her whole life, but was too scared to pray for. Finally, Ditzy Doo could find her place. Finally, she could be normal! It was like a dream.
When the echoing of the bell finally stopped, Ditzy Doo’s eyes shot open.
Firelight’s lips were on hers.





Starlight spent the next few weeks looking over her shoulder.  Everything around her seemed just a bit out of place. Starlight would leave her bunk, then double back around to make sure the journal was where she left it. She didn't get anything from Sunset Shimmer.
Everywhere she went, Starlight felt eyes on her. She kept waiting for something to happen. Instead, the dullness of Our Town turned into a sharp dread, scraping at the surface of her skin.
During the day, she kept her head down and did her work, but during the night she had been creeping around Our Town, trying to find some way into the mansion that didn’t involve any help. As it turned out, there was only one door. That meant that Starlight’s worst fears were realized; either she would have to make amends with Sugar Belle or try and break in.
There was a big supper celebration in the mess hall for the two new executives, but Starlight couldn’t show her face. Starlight saw Ditzy Doo at some point, surrounded by a small crowd of chatty villagers. She didn’t get a good look. She assumed she was still mad. Sugar Belle, though, she would listen. Sunset had said so. 
Starlight knew that if she could catch Sugar Belle before she went back to the mansion, there was a chance she’d hear her out, so she leaned on the outside of the mess hall, idly waving to the people as they filed out.
Slowly, the crowd of people thinned to a trickle. Even the usual cleaners headed out and away, leaving the hall silent. 
“That can’t be right. That was halfway Sugar Belle’s party.” Starlight mumbled. The sun was setting, and she still hadn’t seen Sugar Belle.
The double doors to the mess hall creaked against Starlight’s hands.
“Hello?” Starlight said. Her echoing voice only made her sound more lost.
The mess hall was dark and silent at this hour. The daylight coming through the windows was like fireplace embers. Starlight’s footfalls echoed as she crossed the hall to the kitchen doors. There was a bizarre, rhythmic sound coming from inside. It sounded a bit like boots being dragged out of thick mud and something like a hammer on metal.
“Is anyone there?” Starlight said. 
She turned the light on and instantly recognized Sugar Belle. She was facing away, bent over a steaming cast iron pot, and she was moving a spoon around inside. Starlight recognized the spiceless, meaty smell of scrapple.
I’m here!” Sugar Belle said. She kept stirring the pot; the spoon bumping clumsily against the sides.
Starlight reached out to touch Sugar Belle’s shoulder. The woman didn’t seem to register that, so Starlight pulled on her to turn around.
Sugar Belle turned to her with a bright, toothy smile. She took a while to blink as she regarded Starlight blankly. It was the exact same expression Starlight had seen around town.
“Yes?” Sugar Belle said.
“What are you doing?” Starlight said.
“I’m making scrapple for tomorrow’s dinner!”
“Why are you cooking all alone in the dark? Wait, no, that’s not important. I have several questions!”
“Ask away!” Sugar Belle said, with the rehearsed enthusiasm of a waiter. Starlight felt goosebumps rising on her arms.
“...why aren’t you in the mansion right now? Aren’t supposed to be doing executive training or something?”
“Oh, funny thing about that! I failed!” Sugar Belle said.
“What’s funny about that?” Starlight said.
“I just didn’t make the cut, is all! It happens to the best of us!”
“But you obviously want to… never mind. What happened?”
“What happened with what?”
“With the mansion! How did you fail? What happened in there?”
“Oh, it wasn’t anything special! I just didn’t have the right attitude for the position. Though, they did let me use the spa room! Now I feel all better!”
“All better? But there was nothing wrong with you!”
“Well, that’s just not true! I had an attitude problem; you said so yourself!”
“Well, that’s…I didn’t mean it like that.”
“That’s fine! I forgive you, Starlight! It’s fine, because you were right! I did need an attitude adjustment, and now I’m right as rain!” Sugar Belle giggled. Her expression was somewhere between a corporate spokesman and an amusement park mascot.
“Since when do you say things like ‘right as rain’?” Starlight said.
“Would you like a muffin? There’s some left over from supper.” Sugar Belle said, lifting a tray from the counter. There were a couple of muffins on it, but no sooner did Starlight take a bite did she wretch and spit it onto the floor.
It tasted like biting into a wet rag that was used to clean a blueberry stain.
“Is this some kind of prank!?” Starlight balked. Sugar Belle just smiled at her, shaking her head.
“You don’t like them?” Sugar Belle said.
“What happened to the recipe you were using before?”
“That was just for your party, silly! This is how the colonials used to make them!”
“With no sugar?”
“Exactly!”
“Sugar Belle, what’s going on? Since when do you make terrible muffins? I thought baking was your thing!”
“Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, not at all.” Sugar Belle said. Her expression stayed the same, but she blinked rapidly. “I’m not much of a baker. Not at all.”
“Sugar Belle…what happened in that mansion?”
“I can’t tell you that! It’s against the rules!”
“Since when do you care about rules!?”
“Everyone should care about rules!”
Starlight’s heart was hammering in her chest. The whole world was falling out beneath her.
“No…this…this isn’t right. You love baking. I’ve seen it. You love making muffins and brownies, and you love to gossip.”
“Hm?” Sugar Belle tilted her head with that same vacant smile. 
“Where did you learn baking?”
“What?”
“Where did you learn baking? What was it like there?”
“I don’t…”
“Sugar Belle! Where did you learn baking?”
“I learned from my Mom! When I was little, we would shoo everyone away from the kitchen, and we would mess around with sugary recipes. Just the two of us! Every summer, we would just try everything! She taught me muffins, and whoopie pies and cream cakes, and pralines, and…Starlight?”
“Yes!”
“Starlight, what…what month are we in?”
“Uh…April, I think?”
“It’s April. That means, where I come from…it’s starting to rain a little less, but it's still nice and cool out. People are out fishing and it’s right at the start of festival season, so there’s brass music all over town. Not a ton of tourists this time of year, but enough that everything’s alive, and it’s going to get hot, but not for a while yet. Not for a while. When I was little, April was always my favorite time of year. I don’t even know if…if it would be the same, even if I was there.” Sugar Belle said.
“Are you okay?” Starlight said, and Sugar Belle turned to look at her with eyes that would better fit a lost puppy on a rainy day.
“I wanna go home…!” Sugar Belle sobbed. “I wanna go home, but it’s...it's gone!”
For a moment, Sugar Belle stood there, tears rolling down her face, but then Starlight embraced her. 
She didn’t have the details, but she understood that bitter feeling; wanting to go back to a place where you knew you belonged, but knowing it just wasn’t there anymore. Maybe it was something Sugar Belle did, or maybe things had just changed. Maybe, like Starlight, Sugar Belle no longer had a house to go back to. Maybe she just missed her family. As Starlight hugged Sugar Belle around the shoulders, she wished she could be holding Sunburst. After her dad had spent a month avoiding her, she was starting to feel like Sunburst was the only real family she had.
“I um…there, there…I get it. I really do.” Starlight mumbled.
Starlight Glimmer was a girl of equations and word problems. She considered herself a problem solver, certainly, but she had never been good with people. She tried to focus on the big picture.
“Sugar Belle, something’s wrong with this place. I came looking for you, because I need to know-”
Suddenly, the clock tower signaled the passing of the hour. The ringing echoed for what seemed like an eternity.
Starlight found herself thinking of the bright green grass along the paths of Our Town, and the smiling faces of everyone she met. She thought of the good cheer of people in the Rec, and how good the muffins had tasted on the day of her arrival. She thought of the cute little lunch boxes she found on her bunk, which would disappear between when she slept and when she awoke.
The frigid homesickness, that aching, universal need for a particular warmth, floating away on a breeze. Starlight felt the corners of her mouth tug upward.
She saw a gentle smile on Sugar Belle’s face. A smile that stretched wider until it became that familiar, toothy grin. Her eyes were totally vacant.
“Are…are you okay?” Starlight said.
“Huh? Of course I’m okay. Why wouldn’t I be?” Sugar Belle said.
“You were crying just now!” 
“Right. I’m sorry about that. I was just having a moment, but I’m fine.”
She meant it. A thin wisp of cyan light drifted off Sugar Belle like a fine smoke. It floated off through a window. Starlight knew exactly where it was going, but she stared at Sugar Belle with open-mouthed shock.
“What were we talking about?” Sugar Belle said.
Starlight ran. She ran for her life, and she ran to hide her tears. The last thing she heard as she scrambled away from the mess hall was Sugar Belle saying “Take care now!” with all the pomp and circumstance of a professional tour guide.
Starlight came to a hard stop in the street, almost falling over. There were still villagers out, and they regarded her with practiced civility. Fighting tears, Starlight waved to them and walked to her bunkhouse on shaking knees.
She checked the journal. Nothing. Starlight screamed into her pillow until her voice went hoarse. 
Starlight Glimmer was well and truly alone.





The bonfire crackled and bloomed. Buck stared into the dancing red flame, looking past the cave floor, past the story, and past this moment with a shell-shocked expression that Starlight unfortunately recognized.
“Buck? Hello?”
Buck’s eyes snapped up at Starlight like a rabbit in a hedge.
“Yeah, yeah. I’m listenin’.” Buck said, but his eyes burned. A small purple horn jutted from the side of his forehead. The creature watching them shrunk back into the cave's rubble, its blue eyes narrowed with fear and suspicion.
“...I get it. You hate injustice as much as I do. The idea of people being taken advantage of, especially when they came looking for help; it’s sickening. That’s something we have in common.” Starlight said.
"Yeah." Buck said.
"This story is going to get worse before it gets better. But, I'm glad that you've chosen to hear it. Really, I am. You know, there's a saying my Mom always used to pull out when she did her rounds." Starlight said.
"What's that?"  Buck said.
"Justice has a voice, but only when people like us speak up." Starlight said.
Buck nodded, and his eyes slid back down to the floor. He touched his forehead, winced, and took a deep breath.
"If there's one thing I know how to do, it's listen." The horn faded. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he just shook his head. “...go on with it,” Buck said.
The red flame bloomed again, and the watcher eyed it hungrily from the shadows. Spittle gathered at the edges of its mouth as it prepared to strike.





When Starlight finally made it back to her bunk, she desperately reached for the journal. She needed to tell Sunset Shimmer that even Sugar Belle was compromised, and now Ditzy Doo was in that mansion alone, and there had to be something she could do, there had to be something!
Her hand found empty air under her pillow. The journal was missing.
“No. No, no, no, no!” Starlight frantically reached under her blanket. Maybe it had shuffled when she got out of bed? She reached over the side and found nothing. In her panic, she failed to notice the dark figure creeping out from behind the door to her bunk.
Starlight didn’t even have time to scream as a hand clamped over her mouth. Another strong hand barred her arm behind her back. Starlight thrashed and kicked, fully panicking now that she’d been caught. Her mind raced through all sorts of hideous magical experiments; her soul removed and poured into a bottle, her body fed to dagger-toothed dragons, but none of that happened. Instead, a familiar but urgent voice whispered in her ear.
“Calm down! I’m not going to hurt you!”
Starlight whimpered with helpless anger.
“I’m going to let you go. Please don’t scream…!”
Starlight fell onto her bed. She instantly turned on her feet and delivered a swift, unsportsmanlike kick to the crotch of her opponent, who jumped back deftly and nearly toppled into the wooden wardrobe.
Even though the room was lit by nothing but a flickering candle, Starlight recognized the milk-white skin and the broad shoulders.
“Double Diamond!?”
“Shh!” Double Diamond regained his footing, looking around suspiciously.
“What are you doing here!?”
“I need your help!”
“What?”
“You’re the only person in town that doesn’t seem affected by…whatever’s going on here! Listen. They're doing things to people. They took Night Glider and did...I don't know what! I think they’re going to do it to me, next!”
“Oh my god, finally someone in this place that hasn’t lost their mind! Wait a minute, did you…?”
Double Diamond held out Starlight’s journal with a downcast look.
“I was reading it to see if you knew what was going on. I only skimmed, I swear!”
“What is it with people reading my journal…?” Starlight grumbled, snatching the journal back.
“Look, we need to get out of here! We need to get the police!” Double Diamond said.
“Sure, but not before I get an expert in here to handle whatever’s happening in the mansion.” Starlight said.
“Are you crazy? They’ve got magic! You know…magic! The thing that’s not supposed to be real? They’re doing it at the mansion! I’ve seen it! The "spa" is just a coverup for some crazy Twin Peaks stuff!”
Starlight had just been on the edge of a full-blown panic attack, but now that she had someone else freaking out, it made it much easier for her to pivot. Some prideful part of her personality refused to look as helpless as she felt.
“Slow down! What did you see, exactly?”
“I’ve seen the way people look when they’ve been at the mansion for a while. And I’ve seen weird lights coming from the clock tower at night after everyone’s gone to bed!”
“Got it. Great.” Starlight said. She jotted down a few lines in her journal, knowing that Sunset Shimmer would eventually see them. “Okay, do you know a way to get out of this place without being spotted?” Starlight said.
“...no.”
“Then we need to get in the mansion and put a stop to this. Actually, follow-up question; do you have a phone?”
 “I don't. We only get phones when we're working.” Double Diamond said.
“Oh, brilliant. No, that’s fine. It’s fine! You worked the mansion for a while, right? Is there a way in that doesn’t involve the front door?”
“Uhh…yes? Yes. Yes! There is!” Double Diamond said. "There's a little window me and Night Glider would slip through when we needed some uhhhh..."
"Private time?" Starlight said, rolling her eyes.
"Yeah! I could get you in with a boost, and we can go from there!"
The two talked back and forth for a while, with Starlight checking her journal to see if Sunset had responded. Nothing. She was on her own. With no other options left, Starlight and Double Diamond snuck out in the dead of night.





In the present, Starlight was shaking, and not for the reasons you might expect. No, she had her back up against the cold cave wall. Buck was in front of her holding his arm out like she was a child in the passenger seat of a car.
A high hiss filled the collapsed cavern. It came not from a fanged mouth, but from something that superficial resembled a rattler at the end of a creature’s tail.
Starlight and Buck had retreated as a large facsimile of a snake emerged from the rubble, and now nothing but the flickering light of the magical bonfire was the only thing between it and them. Its blue compound eyes regarded them hungrily as a distressingly long tongue (like a horse’s, but forked at the end) lapped at the mana as if it were a scoop of cherry sherbert.
“The fuck is it doin’?” Buck whispered.
“It’s feeding on your mana! I told you! I told you we need to-”
“HISSS!” The changeling replied. It had left an oily green slime trail behind it, streaked with the black of its melting form, but now it reared up like a cobra and glared at the odd pair.
“We need to take it down,” Starlight whispered.
“No, we don’t. It’s starving.” Buck said.
“And if we let it feed anymore, it’ll kill us!” Starlight hissed.
The changeling's face briefly warped into a horrible mockery of Starlight’s own snarling visage. It hissed.
“Starlight, can you trust me? Just this once, can you trust me?” Buck said. Starlight glared at him, right in those big, idiotic golden half-moons of his.
“Please,” Buck whispered.
And Starlight fought it. In her mind, she pushed Buck aside, grabbed a rock, and smashed the changeling like the horrible, mutated insect it was, but that all fell into the look in Buck’s eyes.
It was the sort of rock-solid determination she had only ever seen in two other people, maybe three at most. There was no arguing with it.
“...fine,” Starlight said. She caught Buck’s wrist as he started to step forward. “Just don’t die.” She said.
Buck nodded. He held a hand out in a way that Fluttershy had taught him years and years ago. He squatted slowly, trying to appear smaller.
“HISSSSS!” The changeling menaced Buck with a few two many fangs in its mouth.
“Easy…easy big guy. Ain’t gonna hurt’cha…I’m gonna help ya.” Buck said.
The changeling eyed him suspiciously as he moved with shaking knees. His fingertips sparked with tiny pink lights.
“Starlight, help,” Buck whispered, eyes wide.
Starlight put a hand on Buck’s back. She could feel his temperature rising. He tried to imagine a boiling pot, and the fire beneath it. His hand bloomed with a low flame, like a gas stove firing up. 
Starlight cringed as the changeling hissed again.
“This is important; I swear it’s important…! Help me make a ball. A small one.” Buck said.
A red mist ignited in Buck’s palm. A bright pink flame emerged as a jet, but then a field of soft turquoise energy enfolded the fire and swirled it into the shape of a softball. 
“My big sis always used to say that people need two things; to be fed and to be loved. With these guys, those things’re one and the same!”
“What are you talking about!?” Starlight said.
The ball of flame bobbed and ballooned as Buck held his wrist with his free hand.
“Alright…let it go!” Buck said.
 The changeling shrunk back in terror as the ball of energy rocketed toward it. The mana struck right in the center of the snake, and it fell to the ground, hissing and writhing as it was engulfed in flame.
“What did you do!?” Starlight said, but Buck didn’t pay her any mind. He was staring at the creature. It ripped itself out of the snake’s skin, and at first, hobbled across the stone floor in a half-formed horse-like body, but then that too fell aside, revealing a humanoid form with a shiny, segmented shell for skin. A single curved horn jutted from its head. It was all smooth and solid, save for the ragged holes in its limbs.
For a second, Buck, Starlight, and the changeling stared at each other.  
“...huh,” Buck said.
“Huh,” The drone repeated.





A thick blackout curtain of clouds cast Our Town in a gloomy shade. The threatening rumble of an approaching storm was the only sound above a whisper. The mansion was reduced to an imposing spire, circled meticulously by slow-moving guard-shaped blobs. 
Starlight Glimmer fought her nerves as she snuck through the shadows between cottages. If she was caught, who knew what would happen?
Double Diamond stood out, well, like an albino against black velvet, so they knew they had to be quick. Even if he was found around the mansion grounds, he could explain it away; he was an executive, after all. But if Starlight Glimmer was seen shuffling through an open window, the game would be up.
There was an old tree sitting in the shadows of the mansion, its branches pruned in such a way that it was impossible to climb without help. Starlight was glad for Double Diamond's strength as she stepped into his joined hands.
 	Starlight grabbed the sil of the only open window, but her hands slipped on a bit of mist. She stumbled down, and were it not for Double Diamond catching her, she would have crashed into the ground.
“What gives!? The window is dripping wet!” Starlight whispered.
“Well, that makes sense since it leads to a bathroom!” Double Diamond said. “Hurry! The guards are gonna come around the corner any second!”
A stray raindrop ran down the back of Starlight’s neck, and a shuddering chill swept through her. It was like the blast of a starting pistol.
Starlight scampered up Double Diamond’s back this time, heedless of the mud she tracked on his grey hoodie. She tried to wipe away the wetness with her sleeve, but a thin beam of light twinkled in her eyes. A lantern!
Starlight scrambled into the window as quick as she could, hitting linoleum floors with a light squeak of the shoes.
"Come on!" Starlight said, reaching down, but Double Diamond tried twice to climb after her. Starlight grunted, trying to haul the man up into the window, but her fear of the coming guards was matched only by her disappointment. She was too weak.
"Go! Just go!" Double Diamond whispered. "I'll figure something out!"
He dropped to the mud, gave Starlight a last look over his shoulder, and ran.
Starlight held her breath in the shadowy space for years in the space of seconds. She heard a pair of feet sloshing away through the mud, then several more, and then nothing but the sound of her own hammering heart.
Starlight Glimmer grasped the cold door handle, gritting her teeth in assurance that whatever she found in the mansion, she would face it with courage. Starlight Glimmer could not have possibly been ready for the nightmare waiting for her.
The door swung open without a noise. The lights were off in the hallway, but a flash of lightning revealed a scene from Starlight’s past. Striped wallpaper and wooden paneling that had to have come from the seventies at the latest. A grandfather clock ticking away the day in loud, thumping tocks. Down the hall, a door with a little wooden star hung from a nail, and across from it, another door that was slightly ajar, a thin beam of light stretching the length of the carpet. 
She was home. Her childhood home, all the way from Sire’s Hollow.
Starlight moved with the stuttering stealth of a wounded alley cat, so shaken by the strangeness, but then a breath caught in the gutter of her throat. 
It wasn’t the grandfather clock making that thump.
Thump, thump, thump.
It was quick, rhythmic, and hideously familiar.
"No...no, no, no...!" Starlight whispered.
Thump, thump, thump.
Starlight had stored it away with all of the loose change from her childhood, but it was here now; it was slamming against the door of her mind.
Thump, thump, thump.
“Please…I don’t…” Whimpered a high, muffled voice. 
“Shh.” Said another. It was curt, almost businesslike.
Starlight was at the door now. The thumping sped up. It was frantic now. Desperate. Starlight heard a gasp. She looked through the crack in the door.
She saw it clearly.	
Desperate scrabbling steps scattered Starlight back to the dark bathroom. She wasn’t seen; she knew that, but her heart was trying to smash its way out of her chest with a sledgehammer, and it was all she could do to sit in the tub and cover her mouth.
A thud, a scrape! The old tree rapped its gnarled knuckles on the window as rain swirled through the air. It startled Starlight so badly that she gave out a yelp.
The thumping had stopped. Starlight listened. A door squeaked shut.
Starlight heard a pair of expensive shoes stroll meaningfully down the hallway, approaching her hiding spot.
Starlight held her breath.
The bathroom door opened. The lights clicked on, and Starlight’s blood froze in her veins.
A figure turned to the faucet.
Hot water tossed steam into the air. A bead of sweat rolled down Starlight's face. Don't move, don't move, don't even breathe...!
The lone figure turned from the faucet and sat heavily down on the toilet. For a moment, that’s all it did; hunching over as the faucet’s squeaky roar erased the noise outside.
Suddenly, a hand reached through the curtains! Starlight squawked and scrambled away. Her heart was in her chest as she raised her fists. The curtain was thrown open.
“Ditzy?” Starlight said.
Her dress was down around her ankles. She was rubbing between her thighs with a wad of toilet paper.
Her face was red and puffy, tear tracks cutting down her cheeks as she stared at Starlight like a deer who just noticed the glint of a rifle.
At first, it was shock, but then Ditzy’s eyes drooped and searched the floor for some remnant of the sensible world she used to know. She sat down on the toilet, and the tears came again, and suddenly Starlight was out of the tub, holding Ditzy by her shaking shoulders as she whined into her chest.
“You were right, Starlight! You were right…!” Ditzy sobbed.
“I’m sorry Ditzy, I’m so, so sorry!” Starlight said, but the words were tumbling out too fast, and very quickly she was explaining as much to herself as she was to Ditzy.
Starlight remembered it all. It was never a nightmare. At least, it wasn’t one in her head. It was the middle of the night.
It was a maid that her parents had hired to clean their house. Starlight had liked her. She did silly voices and told silly stories about her home and how she missed it. And then Starlight had heard her and her father, and then her mother shouting, and then Starlight had never seen the maid again.
Starlight Glimmer had only been six years old; there was no way she could have known then, but as the years and quiet arguments and silent, furious dinners rolled on, Starlight would come to understand her father in a way that no child should.
Sometime later, she got a call from Stellar Flare that her mother had died. She didn’t know how; there was too much blood in the bathtub, but Starlight understood now.
She understood what her mother understood; that the only thing to do with a nightmare is to wake up. She couldn’t believe she had trusted him.
Footsteps came from outside the bathroom. The water was too loud, the hysteria too high for the girls to hear them coming.
“I feel so ugly…I…why didn’t anyone tell me? Why didn’t anyone tell me it would be like this?” Ditzy wailed.
“Ditzy, we need to go. We need to get Sugar Belle, and we need to get out of here. Listen, listen, listen! I know! I know, but I need you to tell me if you can walk?” Starlight said.
The bathroom door slammed open. A glassy blue stare emerged from the dark of the hallway, glancing at the startled girls like it was looking for a seat in a high school cafeteria.
"What are you girls talking about?" Night Glider said. "Can I join? Ooh! Starlight Glimmer, now you know the rules! I'm going to have to-"
Starlight's fist crashed into Night Glider's face, which smacked into the wall and slid down to the floor.
"Come on!" Starlight said. She grabbed the shell-shocked Ditzy by the wrist, pulling her out of the bathroom, hoping she could find somewhere safe to put her.
"What are you doing!?" Ditzy said.
"Getting us out of here!" Starlight said.
Striped wallpaper streaked by as they ran for the stairs. Behind them, Night Glider lurched into a sitting position. Her expression was like a painted doll. There was a fresh bruise on her face, but she didn't seem to notice.
"Hang on! That's against the rules! Where are you girls going? Can I come?" Night Glider said. She broke into a dead sprint, charging down the hall at Starlight and Ditzy with a customer-service smile. She dove into a football tackle just as Ditzy Doo tripped over her own feet. Slammed into the banister, tumbling halfway down the stairs.
"Oh no! Are you okay!?" Ditzy said.
"Never better!" Night Glider sat up and smiled.
Another door slammed. Lights turned on, and Starlight saw more executives coming up from the bottom floor, eyes empty, smiling the exact same way, moving in lockstep.
"What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck!" Starlight said.
"Now, don't be silly! I think you both need to take a moment and relax! Mister Firelight will want to see you!" Night Glider said, running at them again.
"Ditzy, get up!" Starlight shouted and then was pulling Ditzy along down the hall, only to be greeted by another wave of executives.
"What do we do, what do we do!?" Ditzy squealed.
"Just go! Come on!" Starlight said, rushing back the way they came.  There was no time to process, no time to dwell, nothing but adrenaline screaming through her brain and the hammer of her heart. In a way, it felt good. Things were finally simple. Starlight tried to make a break for the bathroom, but the door suddenly shut. She yanked Ditzy to the end of the hall as a throng of brainwashed morons closed on them. They were cornered! Well, almost.
Starlight could feel Ditzy squeezing her hand. The poor girl was gibbering in terror, eyes welling up with fresh tears. Beyond her was a familiar door with a little wooden star nailed to it.
"Okay, okay, if we can get to a window, we can at least get out!" Starlight said. Her foot crashed against the door. It wasn't unlocked! The girls scrambled in and Starlight was immediately moving things to block the door shut. She had grabbed the edge of a bed when she suddenly went still. She gasped like she'd been stabbed in the kidney.
A memory of dark purple wallpaper and emo band posters surrounded Starlight. Tacky fake crystals, tall boots with buckles, and skulls, skulls, skulls. A guitar she had screamed for only to play it for a month. All the tell-tale signs of a tell-tale heart trapped in a mid-2000s suburban wasteland.
Starlight's childhood bedroom, recreated down to the dust on her nightstand. 
She realized then that the bathroom she'd entered was oddly nostalgic, and the wallpaper in the hall was uncomfortably familiar. Had her Dad just taken his house and crammed it inside an old mansion? Starlight had so many questions, but she couldn't slow down. Loud, insistent knocks pummeled the door, followed by a round of voiced concern.
"You're not supposed to be in here! Are you okay? If you come out, we can talk!" It all mashed together into a disgustingly sincere chorus. 
Any second now, these customer service zombies would break the door in, and who knew what was in store for Starlight if they caught her? She looked around the bedroom for any source of hope.
Hope came in the form of some curtains. They still had tears in them from the tantrums that Starlight would throw. Lamplight peaked in from behind them.
"Yes!" Starlight said, throwing the curtains open. She saw Our Town sprinkled with rain. She also saw a set of iron bars blocking her way.
"No! There has to be something...!" Starlight smacked her temples, trying to figure a way out of this. She wished she had her own magic, so she could hocus-pocus this whole nightmare away. 
Ditzy was on the floor against the bed, hugging her knees.
"What's happening? Why are you doing this? What's wrong with them!? What is this room!?" Ditzy panicked, searching Starlight for a trace of sanity. 
Starlight stopped. She thought. She hoped.
"Ditzy, did they give you a phone?" Starlight said, as gently as she could.
Ditzy nodded slowly. She fumbled a phone out of her pocket; one that looked like it came from the late Mesozoic period.
“Give it to me right now. I'm calling for help!” Starlight said.
And Ditzy cringed away from her, stuttering. The hammering on the door persisted. Thunder crashed outside.
“No, no, no, no, wait, wait! I can still fix this! I can…I can be the executive I know I can be!” Ditzy said. A desperate attempt at a smile twitched over her face, and it made Starlight feel sick in her stomach.
The knocking stopped. Despite the wailing wind outside, Starlight could hear a set of footsteps coming down the hall.
“We need to get out of here! Give me that!”
Starlight snatched the phone from Ditzy’s hand, and before Ditzy could try and claw it back, Starlight was hammering the buttons, sending a desperate series of texts. Somewhere on the west coast, another phone beeped and blooped.
The door crashed open in a burst of orange light.
“Ah, there you two are! You're just in time for a little welcoming party!” Said Firelight. 
Ditzy screamed. Starlight threw the phone down at the wall, where it smashed into pieces.
The room flashed, and then Starlight was lost in darkness.





“Okay, I’m going to catch it,” Starlight whispered.
“Wait,” Buck said, holding an arm out. “Look.”
The changeling was once again sitting across the little bonfire. It was bending its arms, rolling its neck, and trying to sit upright like a newborn infant. A few puckering holes opened up on its limbs.
Buck, with Starlight’s hand on his back, rolled a ball of pinkish mana into the bonfire.
The drone's jaw dropped open like a snake’s. A forked tongue extended through the fangs and lapped at the pink mana for a moment before slurping a piece of the fireball into its mouth.
Buck could hear the drone exhaling rapidly as if it had bitten into a piece of meat that had just come out of a frying pan. He was about to comment on that when the changeling suddenly convulsed.
It pulsed with a pink light just before a pair of insectile wings of the same color unfurled from its back.
“Woah,” Buck said.
“What the hell are you doing?” Starlight whispered.
“Just let me cook, alright?” Buck huffed. “You’ve got some juice; see about making us a door.”
Starlight rolled her eyes, but she did so while pointing her hands at the rubble that had sealed them in this cavern. A few stones lifted in a red glow, causing the changeling drone to cringe and hiss.
 “We're not going to hurt you! You can understand me, right?” Buck said.
“Right?” The changeling said in Buck’s voice. It turned to look at him like a puppy meeting god.
“Right.” Buck said. “Look, I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume you’re out here on orders. You’re supposed to catch me.”
“Catch.” The changeling hissed.
Starlight tensed. A bit of red gathered around her hand. Buck’s mana.
“Well, I want to get caught. You don’t have to hurt me to do that, right?” Buck said.
“Don’t…have to?” The changeling said, still holding its defensive stance.
“Cool, cool. Look, I know you’re hungry. All’a y’all are.”
The changeling tilted its head as it looked down at the pink flame.
“Hungry,” It repeated.
Buck smiled and pointed a finger at the ball of mana on the floor. It blossomed brighter.
“HISSS!” The drone bared its fangs, leaping like a cricket to hang suspended from the ceiling.
“It’s cool, it’s cool!” Buck said. He held his hands up and dropped to his knees, trying to seem smaller.
“Hungry.” The drone warned.
“Starving, right? Eat up.” Buck said, shaking a bit. His heart was beating so hard, Starlight could feel it in his back.
Buck sat on the ground and waited, watching as the drone crawled down the wall to sit across the flame from him, taking the exact same pose.
“Well, this is surreal,” Buck said.
“Surreal.”
“Yeah, that.”
The changeling moved its mouth experimentally and made a chirping sound that was something like words and something like a cricket scream.
“Uhh…”
“Surreal.” The drone repeated, then made the strange sound again, with a sort of upward inflection.
“Surreal?” Buck said.
“Surreal?” The drone repeated, pointing and nodding.
“What’s that word?” Buck offered.
“Surreal?”
“Weird. It’s weird.” Buck said.
“Weird.” The drone agreed.
“Hungry?” Buck said.
“Huuuungry…!” The drone drawled. It crept toward the pink flame with an outstretched tongue, coughing as it swallowed the morsel.
“If that’s too hot, you can have some of this, you know?” Buck said.
The drone flinched as Buck reached into his pocket. It leapt to its feet as Buck carefully placed a handful of trail mix on the ground nearby. “Can you guys eat normal food? Is that a thing? I mean, Adagio eats feelings, and also curry, so…?”
The drone sniffed at the ground, then fumbled about, prodding at the handful of nuts and dried fruit with a closed fist.
“You have to use your fingers, man.” Buck said. The changeling looked at Buck and tilted its head so far it looked like it would simply roll off its shoulders. Buck heard a crack.
“Like this,” Buck said. He reached out and plucked an almond from the floor, then dusted it off on his jacket and popped it into his mouth. The changeling watched, utterly enraptured, and then its features shifted to Buck’s. It mimicked the motions exactly, picking an almond up. It lifted the snack triumphantly.
“Uh…good job!” Buck said, giving it a thumbs up. The changeling shuffled and held out a fist, then a thumb grew out of the top with a low popping sound.
"Ugh, jesus!" Buck cringed. The drone's eyes widened suddenly, and it jumped to its feet. Buck tensed, ready to defend himself, but the changeling shivered and nervously spun in place, picking up its feet and stomping.
“Good job! Good job!” The drone said.
“Allllrighty then.” Buck said. “Look, do you know how to get to the hive?”
Hive!” The changeling said.
“Can you take me there, since its your mission and all? I’m sure the queen would be uh, really happy if you did that.”
“Happy!” The changeling said. It dove to the floor and quickly scooped the rest of the trailmix into its mouth.
“Okay, cool. You can have that and the mana, no sweat. You’re basically starving, right? I get that.” Buck said.
“Starving,” The drone agreed.
“If you take me to the hive, you can have more of that, okay?”
“Okay?” The drone said, pleading with its eyes.
“Yeah, it’s okay. You got a name?”
“Name?” The changeling said.
“Yeah, I’m Buck. Do you guys do names?”
Starlight Glimmer facepalmed.
The changeling looked over Buck’s shoulder.
“...name?” It said.
“Buck. That’s me. Who are you?” Buck said.
“Who are you?”
“It’s Buck. What’s your name?”
“What’s your name?”
“It’s Buck, that’s what I’m saying.”
“It’s Buck, that’s what I’m saying.” The changeling repeated, with a smiling Buck’s face.
“Okay, so you’ve got jokes. Who’s on first?” Buck chuckled.
“First?”
“I think I’m gonna call you Gregor. Greg for short.” Buck said.
"Is that a reference?" Starlight said.
"Pfft. Do I read, she asks." Buck said.
“Greg. For-short.” The changeling said, tilting it’s head back and forth.
“Greg,” Buck said, giving a thumbs up.
“Greg!” The drone said, repeating the gesture.
“Alright, Greg! Let’s go to the hive!” Buck said, pointing.
The newly christened Greg looked in the direction of Buck’s finger, and saw that a small hole had been made in the rocks.
Starlight was already crawling up and through it. The drone looked to the small magical bonfire, then at Buck.
“...you can take that, if you want.” Buck said.
The drone slurped it up, then watched as Buck ignited a match-sized pink flame on his thumb tip.
“It’s alright. You’re safe with me.” Buck said.
“Safe.” The drone said.
Buck stepped to the hole Starlight dug and found a lavender-colored hand offering him some help up.
“This doesn’t change anything.” Starlight said. “That thing is going to get hungry, and-”
“Greg’s gonna get us to the hive. That’s his whole job. Now…” Buck grunted as Starlight helped him up into the corridor. Greg climbed up the rocks behind, then scampered up the walls of the cave, looking at Buck and Starlight expectantly as it pointed down the tunnel.
“Gotta feelin’ it’s gonna be a long walk. Tell me the rest of what happened.” Buck said.





Starlight Glimmer was nowhere and no one. There was nothing but darkness all around her. Warmth was like a bitter memory in this senseless place. She was starting to wonder if she could feel anything at all, but then it hit her.
Pain. A sickly, tearing feeling as if she was being flayed from head to toe. Starlight screamed, and there was no sound. She flailed, but had no limbs. Starlight opened her eyes.
An icy cold hand was groping around inher chest cavity. She saw her lungs shake as she screamed. She saw a pair of great curling horns above her, and eyes that blazed with orange flame.
So, Starlight thought, this is Hell.
Her heart. The thing was pinching her heart in a claw, and it was pulling, pulling, and the arteries were stretching like red taffy, then ripping. Starlight screamed with no voice and no sense.





Starlight woke screaming. She was struck with the nightmarish sensation of waking up during open heart surgery. Something had been torn out of her chest, but as she blinked away the tears in her eyes, she couldn’t tell what it was. Her eyes swiveled around in pure panic as a cloth was tied over her mouth to silence her. 
She was tied to a stone slab.
She only knew this from the very edges of her senses; vaguely aware through the crushing numbness in her body that she was tied down in a large chamber made of bricks.
Spinning machinery crossed the span of the wide, high-ceilinged chamber, lit by flickering candelabra. A brass bell as tall as two men hung from the ceiling. It was covered in runes, some familiar and some alien to Starlight. Below that was a glass cabinet. It was inhabited by jars filled with…something. Something that glowed in various glittering colors. Magic. It had to be.
Lightning flashed through the opaque glass that made up the clock’s face overlooking Our Town. Against one stone wall was a pair of tall double doors. 
Ditzy Doo lay unconscious in the center of the room. She was tied and gagged as well, surrounded strange runes that had been carved into the floor.
Executives. Starlight recognized Night Glider and Double Diamond among a crowd of twenty or more people standing around in their gray hoodies, chanting in a language that was like English and like the rumble of a racehorse at the same time. She saw Sugar Belle among them. Their eyes were as pale and glassy as the cabinet. They were smiling.
And then, there was her father.
Firelight stood over Starlight, dressed as if he was out for a Sunday stroll. His face was lit turquoise by an odd symbol floating above his hand; a purple star with greenish wisps just above it.
“First of all, I’d just like to say that I’m not mad; just disappointed,” Firelight said. “I wanted to believe you would adjust to Our Town, and in time you would understand. I didn’t want to do this now, but you’ve left me no choice, Cheeky Chops.”
Starlight Glimmer tried to summon the drive to scream beneath her gag, but nothing came out. Her tear-streaked face couldn’t even manage to grimace. She couldn’t feel anything besides the strange internal static of a numb limb. She felt like she had run a marathon, and she felt like she had been laying in bed for a week.
“That’s alright, no need to get up. I forgive you. We all do.” Firelight said. He glanced at his glassy-eyed followers, and received a small chuckle that may have been brown-nosing and may have been mind control.
“In a way, you’re the whole reason we’re here. Without your mother, I was despondent. I was listless, and empty; even the most basic business transactions turned to torture. I lost contracts, and my reputation in Sire’s Hollow fell to pieces. Friends, neighbors, investors: they all turned their backs on me. It was the shock of you leaving for school that drove me to hit the old history books and seek a deeper meaning. And I found it! The old settlers, they had powers. They could do impossible things; survive the harshest conditions, take on the fiercest enemies, and all because they put faith in a higher power. A force so strong that nothing in this world can rival it! I called out to that power, and against all odds, it answered, and now it’s given me a chance to put everything right! Everything I’ve done, every way I’ve failed, I can fix it all, finally!”
He spoke with all the confidence of a man delivering a TedX talk that he paid for. Starlight was too horrified to even process his words. She watched in horror as he lifted the glowing symbol in his hand, presenting it to the room.
“I found the route to power, but I could never hope to control it! So I searched everywhere I could for people with unique skills, hoping against hope that I could find the one I needed. I almost gave up. And then, you came home; with all your angst and your whining, I could barely sense the power in you. But now I see, you were the key all along! With this mark, I can control all the magic in the world with a snap of my fingers! And I never could have done it without you!” Firelight said. His fingers curled around the strange aurora-like symbol. Starlight felt a part of herself wither away.
Firelight erupted in a column of turquoise light, which quickly turned dark and infernal, crackling with black lightning. He snarled in pain as a pair of equine ears poked out of his head. The jars on the periphery of the room exploded in a burst of swirling symbols that all surged forward and twisted into a long horn in the center of Firelight’s forehead. A trailing purple tail flicked out from behind him, waving in an invisible breeze.
Firelight floated just above the floor in a pulsing aurora of power. He looked down at Starlight as if he was watching her open a Christmas present, and then he glanced at Ditzy Doo with a grimace.
“I’m going to get her back, Starlight. I’m going to make us whole again.” Firelight said. “But first, I have to find her.”
Firelight spun slowly in the air. The executives continued their chanting, extending their hands in Firelight’s direction. With a long inhale, streams of mana snaked from their outstretched hands and into Firelight's glowing horn.
Space split open, rending a screaming slice in reality.
“More!” Firelight said, and the executives chanted louder, energy streaming out of them to feed the hellish spell. One of them dropped to the floor. Firelight’s horn strobed with power. The room shook as the rip in space got longer and deeper.
Starlight saw that Ditzy had awoken. She lay face up on the floor, her eyes flooding with tears, her shoulders shaking with terror. 
“I said more!” Firelight shouted. His minions poured more and more mana into the spell. Another one fell, and another.
Starlight’s eyes darted around the room, waiting, hoping, praying.
The hole in the world was tugged at the air in the room. Starlight began to float off the slab, held down only by her bindings. Ditzy Doo was fully off the ground, eyes shut to this nightmare made real. Starlight couldn’t know what was on the other side of the rift, but as lightning lit the chamber, she knew it was the end of the world. Starlight shut her eyes and waited for the world to start making sense again. 
Nothing. No salvation, no wise words, not a single drop of faith could be found in Starlight’s mind. Her thoughts felt sluggish and hollow. No more last-minute plans. She wasn’t even sure she could pick up her own feet. Despite all of the chaos, Starlight Glimmer’s world turned gray and cold.
She wondered if this was what dying felt like.
Suddenly, Starlight heard something. A sudden boom, like a meteor smashing into the ground. It sounded a second time. Closer. Firelight looked around.
His hands were outstretched, his pilfered magic pouring into the wound in reality, but the stream slowed as he glanced around the room.
“What was that?” Firelight said.
Starlight grinned. She could still feel smug satisfaction, even through the haze.
The boom came again, louder this time. The mansion shook with what sounded like the footfalls of a giant.
“What is that!?” Firelight said, looking to his minions. They simply smiled. The stream of magic petered out. Firelight whirled on Ditzy, glaring down at her with hate-filled eyes. “What did you do!?”
Starlight chuckled against the cloth covering her mouth. Firelight floated to her and ripped away the binding.
“She didn’t do anything! It was me. I saw how you remade our old house, so I sent an S.O.S. to Sunburst, who just happened to pass an old photo album onto someone else.
Far below the clock tower, a strange red light dazzled in one of the mansion’s first-floor windows. Then another flash blinkered on the second floor. Then it bounced around to various rooms, getting faster and faster.
“Who!? Who did you think you would send to stop me!?” Firelight snarled.
The red light blinkered in the hall, in a bedroom, in the kitchen, and then up, up, up, glaring through the small windows that ringed the mansion’s tower.
“A friend.” Starlight said.
The doors crashed open. All eyes turned to see a booted foot protruding through the threshold. A flash of red light blinded Starlight, and then a solitary figure stood before her.
In the years to come, in her darkest moments, Starlight would return to this moment; a spiked black leather jacket, punk boots, and a soft blue blouse beneath. A petite frame with broad shoulders.
A pair of turquoise eyes look down at Starlight with bottomless compassion. A light orange hand touched Starlight’s shoulder, and her savior’s eyes flashed white.
“Sunset, they’re going to-”
“I know. Don’t worry. I’m here.” Sunset Shimmer said.
In one hand, she held a fencer’s foil. Its basket was bejeweled with sparkling red rubies, and there was a sharp red glow at the very tip, turning the training tool into a long, deadly scalpel. With a flick of the wrist, Starlight’s ropes were cut.
“Who do you think you are, little lady?” Firelight said. He was still smiling, but his eye twitched in a way that made Starlight grin.
“I’m Sunset Shimmer, and I’m going to give you one chance to surrender. You’re messing with powers you don’t understand. You need to end this now before anyone else gets hurt!”
“I see. That’s an interesting point. Everyone?” Firelight said, and with a snap of his fingers, the executives turned their attention to Sunset, closing on her like a pack of wolves.
“Look. I am clearly an experienced sorcerer, and I have a sword. We can put all of this to bed, but this is your last chance before things get ugly.” Sunset said. The blade of red mana at the tip of her foil turned into a little ball of pulsing energy.
“I couldn’t agree more. Gang, escort this girl off the premises before she gets herself hurt.” Firelight said. 
“Welcome! Welcome!” The executives droned as mana streamed out of Firelight and into them. They drew truncheons.
“Why do they always have to do it the hard way?” Sunset said. Her tone was disappointed, but Starlight could see the smile on her face. This was just another Tuesday for her.
The goons charged. A flash of white light erupted from Sunset, engulfing the crowd. Clubs swung at her, but she dodged them all as if this were a dance she had rehearsed. Her foil flashed into the chest of an executive, and the tip burst with a cannon’s boom, sending the stocky man hurtling across the room.
“Low strike, then a shoulder charge…” Sunset recited, and sure enough, another goon swung at her knee before rushing forward with his shoulder. Sunset tripped him with little effort. And just like that, Sunset worked through the crowd, moving with the grace of a practiced stuntwoman, turning away strikes and knocking back all aggressors, but for each one she knocked down, another one rose with that same glazed expression on their face. Starlight guessed they were all as numb as she was. 
Sunset strode through the rain of blows, sending minions flying left and right. Firelight fled to the corner of the room. A panel in the wall opened with a wave of his hand, and he spun some knobs and pulled a lever.
“I’ve put too much time and effort into this! This is my life’s work, and I won’t let some little girl stop it short!” Firelight said.
The cogs spun up, and the great bell rang a note that rattled Starlight’s teeth.	
Arcane power from across the settlement gathered in the bell. Sunset rushed at Firelight as he ran to stand beneath it, but he moved with a strange deftness that belied his age. He weaved around Sunset’s foil like a trained boxer, then blasted her with a burst of arcane energy.
Sunset threw up a barrier of force to catch the blast, but it still sent her careening to the other side of the room.
“Do you really think you can stop me!? This is my life’s work, and nothing is going to stand in my way!” Firelight said.
The mana of everyone in Our Town poured over Firelight like a waterfall, gathering at the tip of his unicorn horn before tearing into the rift in space. The hole expanded, and the dust of the chamber drifted toward it.
Another burst of red mana. Sunset was at Starlight’s side, taking her hand, trying to get her on her feet.
“Starlight! Starlight, I know this is all a shock, but I need your help!”
“Huh?” Starlight blinked slowly. She’d almost forgotten that she was in the room at all. She looked around and saw that Ditzy Doo was awake in the circle on the floor, looking at the enfolding ritual with open-eyed horror. 
“He’s taken your cutie mark, Starlight! It’s what’s allowing him to control this much power! I can get it back, but first we need to cut him off from the source!”
“He’s out of his mind…the whole world’s gone crazy.” Starlight mumbled.
“Starlight, listen to me! I know you’re still in there! He’s taken the magic in you, but you can still fight, can’t you?”
“No, I can’t fight! I’m useless! All I could do was call you here!” Starlight cried.
“That’s not true! You’ve been fighting this whole time! Aren’t you angry? Tell me you can still swing a stick!” Sunset said. 
Starlight shuddered and clenched her fists.
“I am angry!” Starlight said. “I’m angry all the time!”
“That’s right! Why are you angry? Be honest!”
Hot fury bubbled up in Starlight’s guts. Our Town had almost made her forget.
“Because my Dad ruined my whole life, and now he’s doing it to everyone else!”
“That’s the feeling, Starlight! Hold on to it! Squeeze it in your hands!” Sunset said.
Starlight clenched her hands together. She heard her mother's voice, somewhere far away, calling out for justice. One of the rubies on Sunset’s foil flashed. With a roar like an engine firing, a staff of blazing red magic appeared in Starlight’s hands.
“I know this is crazy, but I need you to fight! Keep those guys off me while I deal with him!” Sunset said.
Starlight stood up, wincing at the numbness in her limbs. The only thing moving her body was the knowledge that she’d been right, that this whole place was suspicious from the start, and that now she could finally make a difference. She looked at the smiling, empty faces of her father’s victims and thought of every time she had beaten the dust out of a rug.
“I FUCKING HATE THIS TOWN!” Starlight screeched as she charged at the goons, bashing them with a frenzy that had been building from the moment she arrived.
“Try not to kill anyone!” Sunset said. She brandished her foil, raising it in a duelist’s salute. Another two rubies flashed red, and then went dark. The gears of the great clock groaned and slowed.
A chaotic beam zig-zagged through the air. Sunset dove just in time for the spell to blast the stone podium into pieces instead of her. 
“Stop her! Stop her right now!” Firelight said. He held a hand out, funneling power into the rift, but his other hand fired bolts of mana indiscriminately in Sunset’s direction. It was all she could do to dodge and duck and teleport out of the way.
“Welcome!” A goon struck Sunset on the back, nearly knocking her over. The energy around Sunset’s foil wavered.
“Crap! Starlight!” Sunset said.
“I’m a little busy!” Starlight yawped, smashing her staff into another executive face.
A thin beam slashed through the air, and suddenly Ditzy Doo sat up, pulling the cloth from her mouth.
“Don’t let her get away! I need her body!” Firelight snarled.
The executives turned their attention away from Starlight. She smacked down another and another as they swarmed Ditzy Doo, who cowered and screamed.
Another flash of red. Ditzy was behind Sunset now, terrified and confused.
“Ditzy Doo! Can you fight?” Sunset said.
Ditzy shook her head, eyes welling with tears. She couldn’t find any words. She was completely lost.
“That’s okay! That’s okay! See that panel over there?” Sunset said, pointing at the mechanism that controlled the bell.
And then a sledgehammer made of mana dropped heavily into Ditzy’s hands. Her terror turned to anger in an instant. She started running for the panel.
“Starlight, cover her!” Sunset said.
Ditzy was off like a three-legged racehorse. Wobbly, but determined. Starlight fell in right beside her, swiping at anyone that dared try and intercept them. Suddenly, Starlight was knocked off her feet by a pale form. She saw Ditzy frantically swinging her sledgehammer at Night Glider, who approached without an ounce of fear in her empty eyes.
“Get away! I don’t wanna hurt you!” Ditzy said.
The bell rang again, but a red aura surrounded it, just barely stopping its swing. Sunset Shimmer dodged another chaotic bolt of energy, forehead beading with sweat as she tried to concentrate.
“Get off me! Get off me!” Starlight shrieked as albino hands tried to hold her down. It was Double Diamond. He was smiling, just like the rest of the goons, but this close up, Starlight could see the tear streaks on his face. He couldn’t scream, but he could still weep, and as he put his weight on Starlight, he whimpered at her with all that was left of his voice.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“GET OFF!” Starlight frantically thrashed Double Diamond, swinging her staff, kicking and screaming, until she heard a crack.
For a second, Starlight thought she had broken something, but then she realized that Double Diamond had let go. He was looking across the room, where Night Glider had fallen to the ground. Starlight squinted and saw that Ditzy’s hammer had blood dripping from it.
Double Diamond dropped to a knee, scooping Night Glider into his arms. Her knee was broken, and she was in clear pain, but her eyes met Double Diamond’s. She smiled.
Starlight scrambled to her feet, smacking away anyone who came close to Ditzy Doo. She could hear the girl wailing behind her.
“Get to the panel!” Starlight said.
“I-I-I can’t!” Ditzy stammered. Starlight turned and saw that another figure was between them and the panel on the wall. It was Sugar Belle.
“Oh no, no, no…” Starlight said.
“Welcome!” Sugar Belle said.
“Please…! I don’t…I don’t wanna hurt anyone else!” Ditzy cried.
“You don’t have to hurt anyone! If we all just do as we’re told, everything will be right as rain!” Sugar Belle giggled.
Starlight looked at the staff in her hands, then at Sugar Belle.
“Nobody says right as rain! And you never do as you’re told!” Starlight said.
“Oh, hi Starlight! When did you get here?” Sugar Belle said.
Starlight felt a flash of acute, focusing anger.
“You know what, Sugar Belle? I don’t like you. You have something snippy and sarcastic to say about every little thing, and that’s when you’re not pretending to be friendly like some mall-dwelling mean girl stereotype!” Starlight ranted.
Sugar Belle blinked in surprise, and then her cheeks turned red.
“I…I’m not a mean girl!”
“You’re irresponsible, you’re a rule-breaker, and you don’t listen!” Starlight said.
“Hey, hey, don’t say that! Sugar Belle is-” Ditzy started, but Starlight held up a finger.
“And you’re two-faced! You talk about how you miss home and your Mom and your sweets and all that, but walk around a kitchen with no salt and no sugar and act like it’s fine!? What is wrong with you?”
“W-Well, that’s…very rude!” Sugar Belle stammered, and her plastic smile wavered, and the strange, doll-like glaze over her eyes started to fall away.
“Sunset taught me this; we need to give her an emotional jolt to break her out of the trance!” Starlight whispered to Ditzy.
“Oh.” Ditzy said. She smiled. “Hey, Sugar Belle?”
“What is it, girlfriend?” Sugar Belle said.
“Just tell Big Mac you like him already!” Ditzy shouted.
Sugar Belle’s eyes went wide as Ditzy ran past her.
“Welcome! Welcome!” The executives swarmed, and Starlight raised her staff to swing again.
Suddenly one of the goons went down with a heavy thud as a right cross connected with his chin. Sugar Belle stood over him, rolling her wrist. 
“Sugar Belle! You’re back!” Starlight said.  
“Yeah, yeah, hugs later! Hey, Bacon Hair!” Sugar Belle shouted. Sunset Shimmer glanced at her with a half-smile, half-grimace. Sugar Belle flipped her the bird. “Throw me something, sister!”
A flick of Sunset’s foil conjured a rolling pin in Sugar Belle’s hands.
“Eh, good enough. Ha!” Sugar Belle rampaged into the executives, side-by-side with Starlight. Each of them got to their feet slowly after being laid out, their smiles remaining even as they were battered and bruised. 
The numbness was fleeing from Starlight’s body. She was terrified. She was exhilarated. She was filled with determination.
“We can do this! Break the box, Ditzy!” Starlight said. “Do it now!”
“Don’t you dare! Put that thing down!” Firelight barked.
Ditzy Doo froze on the spot. For a moment, she looked like a child who got caught stealing from the cookie jar.
“Do as I say, Ditzy Doo. Don’t make any trouble for me.” Firelight said. His eyes glowed with a hazy green light.
“I…I don’t, I never…” Ditzy mumbled, her body going slack. The conjured sledgehammer wavered like a mirage.
“Oh, put a sock it in!” Sugar Belle said. A swift, unsportsmanlike kick sent Firelight to his knees.
“GAH!” Firelight screeched, and an explosion of arcane force threw Sugar Belle across the room.
“Sugar Belle!” Ditzy shook the cobwebs from her head and remembered her fury. Her hammer smashed the panel. The bell went still.
Sunset’s fencing foil jabbed at Firelight’s chest, and a red burst blasted him through the glass face of the clock tower.
Starlight’s stomach dropped. Her father had gone hurtling out into the storm. She waited for the crunch of a body hitting pavement. It didn’t come.
Instead, Starlight heard a long metallic groan, and suddenly a spear of metal pierced Sunset Shimmer. Starlight and Ditzy’s conjured weapons disappeared as they stared in horror.
The hour hand of the clock tower had been torn off, and now it pinned Sunset to the wall.
“Idiots! All of you! Do you really think I need a machine to ring a bell?” Firelight laughed. The hour hand wrenched out of Sunset’s torso, twitching through the air with an unsteady pattern. Firelight grunted, and the hour hand struck the bell. More mana poured in from all around, but this time, Firelight diverted it directly to the growing rift. Raindrops from outside were pulled into the hole in space as it expanded more.
“More! I need more!” Firelight shouted. All around, the remaining executives were hitting the floor as their mana was drained.
Starlight was at Sunset’s side in an instant. She was holding her side, trying to stop the blood. Starlight’s rage was receding. She had brought this woman to die. Numbing despair crept up her spine as she looked from her father to Sunset Shimmer. Sunset Shimmer smiled at her.
“I’m so sorry…I never thought he would…I didn’t want to-I should’ve-”
“Hey, hey, none of that! Look, this? I can deal with this.” Sunset said. The hand over her wound lit with a soft red glow. “But I need your help to finish this. Where’s…? Ah. My foil. Grab it, quick!”
Starlight fumbled around on the floor, grabbing Sunset’s foil. It was still glowing with power, but the aura was wobbling like a candle’s flame.
“What do you mean? How am I supposed to-”
“There’s no time to argue! Help me up!” Sunset said.
Starlight got Sunset under an arm, and the two grunted as they got to their feet. They disappeared in a flash of red light, appearing at the ledge where the clock’s face had been broken.
 “I’ve got a spell loaded up in there. Just point it at the village, and think about how you feel about this place. About your Dad, and about your Mom, and everything that’s happened. Just…just put all of that at the tip of the sword, and let it go!”
A stray bolt of chaotic energy lanced at Starlight. Sunset put a hand up, and a shield of mana just barely deflected the shot. More bolts of mana fired off from Firelight as he barely managed to contain the power.
Starlight stammered at the foil in her hands. None of this made any sense. The whole world was crazy. Starlight felt hot tears roll down her face.
“This is all my fault!” Starlight whined.
“Starlight? Starlight! Look at me! You didn’t do this! He did! We can fix this, but only if we do it together! I know you feel empty and betrayed, but I’m here for you! Together, we can turn this whole thing around!”
Firelight’s glowing iridescent horn increased in size. He howled as the magic surged through him, into the rift, igniting the stormy sky with a corona of energy.
Starlight felt a hand in hers. Starlight looked to her left. It was Ditzy Doo.
“We’re going to get through this.” Ditzy said. Her face was red and streaked with tears, but there was an unmistakable determination in her off-center eyes.
A hand on her shoulder. Starlight saw Sugar Belle. She had an ugly bruise on her face, but she didn't seem to care.
“Us troublemakers have to stick together!” Sugar Belle said.
Starlight smiled, and it felt like the first time. She raised the foil, but her hands weren’t shaking anymore. A pair of hands touched her back, and there was Double Diamond, filled with remorse, and Night Glider, wincing but smiling.
“Focus on your feelings, Starlight. Put it all right at the tip of the sword…” Sunset said.
Energy streamed from Starlight and everyone around her. The red light at the edge of the foil strobed blue, turquoise, and cyan. Every volatile emotion Starlight had felt since coming to Our Town fused together in a blast of righteous fury. Her focus narrowed to a singular point, one singular north star that gave shape to her trauma.
She demanded Justice with her whole heart and soul.
“What was that thing you girls always say?” Sugar Belle said.
“Friendship is magic.” Sunset said.
“Is that like a reference to something-?” A cacophonous cannon boom cut Starlight off mid-sentence. A stream of rainbow light burst from the foil, wrapping around Firelight like a ribbon of force! He screamed as the colors restrained his hands to his sides, illuminating the stormy night like a neon flash.
Starlight smiled in satisfaction; the way one smiles when they wake from a horrible nightmare. She knew that after all she had been through, it was finally over.
That’s why her blood ran cold when she saw the rainbow snap.
“You stupid brats! Don’t you know by now? I have all the power here!” Firelight screamed, and the world flipped under Starlight Glimmer. She and her allies–her friends--were blasted away, stapled to the wall by bands of cyan light. Even their mouths were covered, leaving them nothing to do but watch in horror as Firelight floated triumphantly back to the center of the room. 
“Now, I need you all to be good and sit still while I finish my little project here!”
Firelight funneled power into the rift, which blossomed into a great sucking wound in the air. Raindrops, broken glass, and empty jars flew into the yawning abyss, lost in a white void that flickered like an old TV screen.
“Where was I? Oh, that’s right!” Firelight said. A flick of his wrist blasted debris away from the spell circle on the floor, and another levitated Ditzy Doo to the center of it. 
"No! No, no, no, please! MAMA! PLEASE, SOMEONE HELP ME!" Ditzy screamed, struggling helplessly against the arcane constraints.
Ditzy’s frantic eyes met Starlight, who could do nothing as Firelight chanted in that strange dead language, his eyes glowing, his crazed smile growing wider. 
“I know you don’t believe me. No one believed me! But I’m going to prove them all wrong; I’m going to fix everything right here and now!” Firelight shouted. 
Thunder crashed outside as the portal expanded, flickering through scenes of impossible space. Starlight saw a dark world filled with shifting shadows and white rocks. She saw a sprawl of gothic stonework beneath a blood-red sky. She saw a strange casino filled with blaring slot machines and malicious grins. There was a gleaming metropolis built on a cliff over the sea, a land of glittering crystal towers, a blasted wasteland filled with pools of lava, all whizzing by in an instant until the portal’s view came to rest on a massive chamber of stone. It would have been black as pitch were it not for towering spires aglow with bright circles hewn into the top. 
There were cages everywhere filled with impossible, snarling monsters. A massive beast with three slobbering dog heads lay sleeping at the foot of a stone staircase. At the top of countless flights sat a cage with bars of black iron holding one singular form.
“There! Finally, I’ve found him!” Firelight shouted with glee. “Master! Master, it’s me!”
The hunched figure stirred stiffly beneath a sooty cloak, turning to regard Firelight with dying ember eyes.
“You have done well…!” Said the creature. Starlight could just barely make out a pair of wringing hands. Its voice was sandpaper on a chalkboard. “Now, come closer, my acolyte!”
An infernal aura clutched Firelight in its grip, crackling with black bolts. Firelight didn’t struggle, but Starlight caught a fleeting moment of fear in the corner of his eye.
"I trust you have gathered the requisite payment?"
“Yes, my Lord, I have done as you asked!”
Firelight’s pilfered power surged as a torrent of rainbow light from the horn on his forehead to the open maw of the beast.
Starlight looked on in terror as the ragged cloak was tossed away, revealing a red-skinned centaur ballooning in size as it devoured the power of Our Town’s residents. Shriveled limbs bulged into rippling muscle, a massive barrel chest emerged, and a pair of huge curling horns cradled a miniature sun as Lord Tirek’s hellish might came into full focus.
A clean twitch of the arm shattered the cage that had trapped him.
Firelight’s form deflated in response, his jaw going slack, his dark purple skin fading to a pale, grayish tone. The horn of light disappeared, and Firelight slumped to the ground.
Lord Tirek raised his fists in triumph, his voice booming across the howling night.
“Finally! It took all of my remaining mana to reach across dimensions with a message, and though the magic of your world is paltry and anemic, you have gathered enough for me to blast open the doors of Tartarus and pillage Equestria for all of its arcane might once more."
Suddenly, a chorus of barks echoed through the chamber. The guardian had awakened, but as it rumbled toward the prisoner, that hellish aura wrenched it off the steps and into the abyss below.
Firelight raised his chin with great effort, his voice coming out as a rasping mockery of his former stately demeanor.
“My Lord…I followed your instructions down to the date and time. Isn’t it…isn’t it time for me to receive my reward?”
Lord Tirek glared at his minion, then a devilish smile emerged on his face.
“Ah, yes. You…beseeched me for the means to bring your beloved wife back.”
“Yes!”
“Here’s what I know of reanimation. You must have a shell, a great deal of mana, and your wife’s cutie mark. Let me see…” Lord Tirek’s gaze swept over the room. Ditzy Doo cowered in terror. “You have brought a sacrifice, which is similar to a shell, but not quite right. You had a great deal of mana. And I regret to inform you that as your wife is long dead, you have no way of retrieving her cutie mark. What you wish is impossible.”
“But…but you swore to teach me how to resurrect my wife! I was going to reunite my family! I was-”
“You were an indispensable resource. We exchanged power for knowledge. I gained power, and you gained knowledge. Our bargain has been made. Now do as you will, and begone from my sight, pathetic apeling.” Tirek laughed and turned away from the portal, descending the stone steps in earth-shaking strides.
A twinkle of mana drifted from between his horns, then a rushing stream.
“You bastard! I trusted you! YOU BASTARD!” Firelight exploded in a gout of hellfire. A gnarled horn erupted from his forehead, blasting beams of light through the rift at Lord Tirek.
“Adorable.” Tirek chuckled, twirling a finger.
Firelight launched into the ceiling, then crashed to the ground in a broken heap. Starlight Glimmer and friends all hit the ground; the threads of force that were binding them had faded away.
Lord Tirek blasted the colossal doors of Tartarus open in a brilliant display of power before striding through the threshold in his shrunken, original form.
And Firelight coughed and turned himself over, picking himself up with shaking limbs. His words came out in a stumbling mutter.
“It’s fine, it’s fine, because now I know. I’ll just start over, and follow his example.” Firelight said, flickering with the last vestiges of his stolen magic. The portal blinked like a great eye as Firelight tried to channel some other source of power.
“I can fix this…I’ll find a way to look for her…I’ll reach into hell itself if I have to!”
The portal blinked. Here was a dark and thorny forest, there was a shining citadel on the side of a mountain, a massive vaulted temple atop a cloud, and an abandoned castle all swam by as the portal expanded.
Firelight moved his fingers like a puppeteer as the portal shuddered wider. Suddenly, a red flash butted him backward. Sunset Shimmer stood square, one hand holding her side while the other raised her foil.
“Haven’t you learned yet!? You need to end this right now before you get us all killed!” Sunset said.
“Please, stop this! It doesn’t have to be this way!” Double Diamond said. His voice had gone hoarse from weeping. He was in the corner, holding Night Glider in his arms.
 “What would you know? What would any of you know!? You all come to me, broken and beaten, and you ask me to fix all of your problems, like even a single one of you knows what it means to truly suffer!” Firelight snarled.
Ditzy Doo flew screaming to his side in a flicker of aura, then Firelight shouted in that strange, eldritch language. The mansion shook, and the portal groaned even further open, blazing with the light of a dying sun.
“I’ll find my wife, and we’ll finally be a family again! No matter the cost!” Firelight said.
“Everybody hit the deck!” Sugar Belle said.
The clock tower detonated in an earth-shaking explosion.





In nearby Fillydelphia, lights began to flicker on the edge of the city limits. It had been a truly grueling day at the Fillydelphia farmer’s market, and one young woman was driving home with several crates that were sadly filled with unsold carrots. Rain from the rumbling great clouds above pattered her windshield.
Her amber eyes were filled with a creeping regret, her pale blue skin darkened with the dust of the day, her curly white hair gone frazzled after frantically hawking at her stall. Nothing had worked.
She couldn’t blame anyone, really; this season’s harvest had been pretty weak, and the resulting produce was shriveled and sickly.
“It would take a miracle to turn a profit on these.” Serena said. She wondered idly if there was some sort of banana bread-style solution to this. She had been out of ideas for a week, but this one felt vaguely like hope as her raggedy car’s wheels squeaked into her driveway. The winds plastered a littered newspaper to her side for just a moment. 
Her feet dragged up the shadowy apartment stairs. She was lit only by a light that had been flickering since she moved here, and as she butted her shoulder against the perpetually stuck door to her apartment, she wondered, not for the first time, if her sister had been right all along. At the very least, she might be able to help, and unlike her Mom, Serena’s sister wouldn’t gloat. She’d always been helpful; Serena was just hard-headed. She wanted to stay in the city, and this is what it got her.
With a yawn, she dialed her phone. 
“Carrot Top? Hey Sis, listen I…I know it’s late. Look, do you still have that old Carrot Cake recipe? I wanted to try a…no, no, sis it’s not a sex thing, will you just listen? The Farmer’s Market was a bust, and I need to do something with the stock. Do you think you could-”
A crash of lightning shook Serena’s eardrums like a cannon blast. It was so loud, she dropped her phone, leaving her sister to question what was going on.
The crash didn’t stop. It filled Serena’s ears, and the apartment, and as she stumbled to open the window, she realized it was filling the air above her head.
A glowing hole in the sky looked down on the sleeping streets of Fillydelphia, screaming like a tortured jet engine. Everywhere Serena looked, lights were rising from the buildings, from the cars, under bridges, and inside alleyways.
It was like watching shooting stars in reverse; motes of pulsing lights surging into the air, swallowed by the strange rift.
Serena fell to the ground, hanging onto the windowsill with both hands. Her legs had given out, filled with a numbing static.
The light blue color had drained from her feet and legs, and now it was leaving her fingertips; melting off Serena’s form like a doused watercolor painting, glowing as it streamed into the air.
Her jaw went slack. Her eyes drooped with fatigue, and soon she was lying face-up on the floor.
Serena couldn’t scream; all she could do with her empty voice was wail as terror washed over her. From somewhere outside the shadows racing into Serena’s vision, she could hear her sister calling her name, screaming to know if she was okay, threatening to call an ambulance, but nothing could get through.
Serena’s last thought was that she should have listened to her sister, and then there was nothing but the dawning horror of being dragged into someone else’s story.





 Starlight Glimmer awoke to a ringing in her ears. She was scraped and bruised, looking up at an aurora borealis. Rainbow lights were streaming through the air above her, and for a moment, she shed a tear at the majesty of it. She was moving, a bit. No, she was being shaken.
“Starlight! Starlight, get up!” Sugar Belle said, pulling Starlight to sit upright.
It was another nightmare. The bell, the masonry and and any chance of a normal future had been scattered to the winds.
Another rift was in the sky above the clock tower, bombarding the platform with a stream of magical energy. Starlight could see more of those strange glowing marks whiz through the air like comets, straight toward what remained of Firelight.
A new rainbow horn had grown in his forehead; then another, and another until they formed a jagged crown on his head. Four horns, six horns, ten horns. They swelled in size as magic poured into them, and ragged, disjointed wings extended from Firelight’s back. He was hunched in an odd posture on a pair of hairy hooves. Somewhere in the vaguely equestrian mess that had been his face, Firelight was smiling.
Firelight held Ditzy Doo in one swollen claw as the other piloted the portal; flipping through other points in space. Rain was falling horizontally into the rift. Starlight watched as Firelight’s executives were pulled into the space between spaces, unable to do anything but smile as they were lost forever.
Ditzy Doo was screaming.
Sunset was rising now, up into the air. She glowed with a blazing light and traced the air with her foil. The great wound in the sky burned, and its edges slowly started to cauterize.
A blast came from beneath, but Sunset turned it away with a shield. Somewhere in the chaos, Starlight could hear Sunset Shimmer swear.
The second rift shut, and Starlight’s faith in Sunset doubled. But then, Starlight watched as Sunset’s glowing red aura faded, and she thudded to the ground; unconscious and spent.
Her foil splashed into a puddle on the floor, and her shield spell broke. 
An explosion of sound surrounded Starlight as she hung on for dear life.
“POWER! I NEED MORE POWER!” Firelight garbled. His voice fractured into laughter, whinnies, and wails. The portal rent further, unfolding on a blasted landscape devoid of stars. Horrific shadows with indescribable faces howled and pushed against the portal, trying to escape into the human world.
Starlight was hanging onto a piece of rubble, her eyes roaming, hoping against hope that there was still time. Sugar Belle was doing the same, holding Sunset Shimmer around the waist.
“What are you doing!?” Sugar Belle said.
“I…I think I can fix this! I just need to find…there!” Starlight said. 
She let go of the rubble. She fell sideways toward the portal, but she had a plan. No one had trusted her; no one but Sunset Shimmer, but she had been right. She had been right all along, and now she knew what she had to do. She remembered her mother’s words as she fell; about how justice is hard to come by. If there was any chance that she could make this right, she would take it in a heartbeat.
A heartbeat, coincidentally, was all she had. Starlight Glimmer reached out and snatched at the glint she saw. Sunset’s foil.
Time began to slow. Sunset could use magic to fix things; to close rifts, help people, and right wrongs.
So why couldn’t Starlight?
Her feet came down, balancing her on a precarious ledge. She pointed the foil at the portal, and she tried to follow Sunset’s instructions. She let her fury sink in; blazing in her chest like a signal fire. The necessity of what she needed to do anchored her to the world. Power gathered in Starlight’s hands, and with great effort, she pushed that power to the tip of the foil, just as she’d been taught.
Righteous anger. Necessity. Consternation. Terror. Regret. Focus!
In Starlight's mind, that word came again. The word her mother had taught her.
Justice.
It all swirled together in a glowing ball of force.
“Please Mom…please let me make this right…!” Starlight whispered. A horn of light grew from her head. Teardrops mixed with the rain.
Firelight turned just in time to see what was happening. Starlight no longer saw her father in what he had become. He roared and charged, teeth gnashing to devour the magic.
A lance of turquoise light tore through the air toward the portal, but instead went straight through Firelight's chest.
Ditzy Doo fell from his grip as he stumbled forward, hands trying to cover a smoking hole in his torso. His monstrous form shattered like glass, leaving behind his sallow, shaking human form.
The portal squinted like an iris, dropping the objects caught in its orbit to the ground.
Firelight turned to Ditzy Doo, smiling, bleeding, and pleading. He was human once more. His copper-colored eyes were emptying out; his purple skin turning gray as the portal drank the mana from him.
“Hey, Ditzy Doo…I’m sorry, but I still need you. You understand?” Firelight said. The marks he had stolen from countless people floated out of him like soap bubbles. Starlight saw as they floated into the bodies of Double Diamond, Night Glider, and Sugar Belle. But for each of those, three more were devoured by the tightening rift.
Ditzy shook her head, backing away, stammering as Firelight shambled toward her. 
“I need you, so please, come with me. Don’t go…!” Firelight said. He reached out to touch Ditzy, but his hand was wrenched back toward the portal, colors running off it, then skin, then flesh in twirling streamers.
“No, no, no, get away from me! GET AWAY!” Ditzy screamed. A shard of glass flashed in her hands. She stabbed Firelight over and over, splattering herself in his blood. He was still smiling, even as the light left his eyes.
“Just...do one thing right. This is all your fault.” Firelight said. His face ripped into the portal, leaving nothing but a stripped skull, then a blur as the rest of his form was dragged into some nameless realm.
Something in Ditzy Doo shattered. Starlight dropped the foil, watching as the clutzy girl from Canterlot doubled over and held her stomach, screaming. It was more tortured than any sob Starlight Glimmer would ever hear again.
Sugar Belle limped over to Ditzy and gently took her shoulders.
“You need to go.”
It was Sunset Shimmer. Starlight looked at her in numb shock as Sunset picked up her foil.
“...what?”
“That portal isn’t closing; it’s collapsing. If I don’t deal with it, it’s going to take everyone here with it, and maybe a chunk of Pennsylvania, so you have to go.” Sunset said. She grunted painfully as she raised the foil at Sugar Belle and Ditzy Doo. 
“What are you doing!?” Starlight said.
“Sugar Belle! I’m going to send everyone your way! Wait until the last flash, and then take everybody and run!” Sunset said.
Sugar Belle looked bewildered at her, then nodded, mumbling at Ditzy Doo to get to her feet. A flash of red light erased them from reality. Another gem on Sunset’s foil went dark. 
“What did you do? What did you do!?” Starlight shouted.
“I took care of them. Just like I’m taking care of you. A promise is a promise.” Sunset said. She pointed at a couple of bodies that Starlight was sure had to be Double Diamond and Night Glider. They vanished as well.
“But, but, but…!” Starlight said. Sunset grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to lock eyes.
“You did the right thing. Do you hear me? You did the right thing, Starlight. Your Mom would be proud.” Sunset said. She was halfway between a smile, and a grimace.
The portal roared, a halo of orange light forming around a pitch-black core. 
“But, what are you going to do?” Starlight said.
“I’ll see you soon,” Sunset said.
Starlight blinked, and she was looking at Our Town from a hilltop that had to be a mile away. She saw a flash of red light, and someone appeared next to her. 
Starlight looked around and saw Sugar Belle counting heads. 
Another flash, another person. 
Ditzy Doo was sitting on the grass next to Sugar Belle, not quite looking at anything at all. Double Diamond and was up.  He was carefully laying Night Glider down on the grass. 
Another flash. There was Party Favor. Then more. Two by two, then one by one, the survivors of Our Town appeared on that hill, and a vast orange glow lit up the stormy night, getting brighter by the second.
Below, Starlight could see bunkhouses snapping off their foundations, falling up into the miniature black hole. Then went the Rec Center, the Mess Hall, and Starlight’s only positive memories of the place. Clouds streamed into the portal from above, circling the rift like a pool drain.
Starlight scanned the crowd. She recognized a few faces but didn’t have many names. Somehow, that felt like a failure to her.
One final red flash. A glorious phoenix rose from a tiny pinprick in the air, its majestic wings of flame curling around the rift that had finished the job her father began years ago. 
Starlight’s family was finally broken beyond repair.
Somewhere a world away, Sugar Belle was talking fast, and people were running. They didn’t know where to. Starlight certainly didn’t either, but as Sugar Belle grabbed her wrist and pulled, she realized it didn’t matter. Anywhere was better than here.
Starlight took one last look at the remains of Our Town; a place where time stood still, where the people were always smiling, and where everything was wrong.
What better project could there be for a man like her father?
With a flash so bright it was like gazing at sunrise, Our Town was replaced by a crater in the ground. 





Ditzy Doo lay down, staring at the ceiling with red, wet eyes. She was safe; sitting in Silver Spoon’s office, finally understanding why this kind of sofa was called a fainting couch. She wasn’t sure she could stand.
“And after that, you came to Canterlot?” Silver Spoon said, flipping through her notes.
“Not right away. Sugar Belle still had her phone, she called ambulances and taxis and stuff. Eventually, a big bus came and picked us all up. You know, it was really impressive; Sugar Belle kept checking up on everybody. She was asking them about where they came from and, and where they might go, and you could swear she had done this all before.” Ditzy said.
“Right. She seems nice.” Silver Spoon said.
“She’s a survivor. Her whole family is like that.” Ditzy smiled briefly. “We got to Fillydelphia, and we heard what happened to them.”
“A few hundred people went braindead that night, all at the same time, for no discernible reason. Even today, the “Fillydelphia Incident” is common fodder for rumor-mongers and conspiracy theorists.” Silver Spoon read from a newspaper clipping in her notes.
“They’ll never guess it.” Ditzy chuckled sadly. “Sunset Shimmer eventually caught up to us. She picked up from where Sugar Belle left off; organizing people and sending them on their way. She asked me if I had a place to go, and I said no, but Sugar Belle had something. She called the Apple Family–nicest people in Canterlot–and said they’d let us stay while we got on our feet.”
“I understand.”
“I didn’t hurt that a certain guy happened to be working the farm there. You couldn’t get her to shut up about Big Mac if you paid her!” Ditzy said.
“I understand. And what did you do when you got back to Canterlot?”
“Oh, I needed to find a job, and fast. I wouldn’t be able to do farm stuff, so I needed to get something else. Granny Smith let me use her car, and I started doing food deliveries, and after a while, me and Sugar Belle moved into our own place in the city.”
“Why did you need to find a job?”
Ditzy sat quietly for a while. She heard the light ticking of Silver Spoon’s clock on the wall. She knew better than to fight the tears that were coming.
“Uh…a few weeks after getting back to Canterlot, I…I started getting morning sickness.” Ditzy said, her voice shaking.
“I see.” Silver Spoon said.
“I love my daughter. You understand? I love my daughter with my whole heart…!” Ditzy sobbed.
“Of course you do.”
“But sometimes when she laughs, when she gets mad, I…I see him…! And then, then, with Buck, I know he’s not-”
“This isn’t about him; this is about you.” Silver Spoon cut in.
“But you understand! Please tell me you understand! I can't feel safe!” Ditzy said. Silver Spoon was checking her notes; a process that seemed to take years.
“I understand that you are a survivor, and that’s something to be proud of. Abuse has a way of warping the world around us. It’s like a shadow that darkens everything; and when things are dark, you’re on edge, waiting for something to come at you. That hypervigilance; is that what you feel when you get intimate with Buck?”
“I think I’m going to throw up.” Ditzy sobbed. Silver Spoon nudged a small trash can toward her, just in case. “Yes. When he holds me, I’m so excited, and so scared…but that’s in my head.”
“Yes. The brain is a delicate organ, and damage to it can be very challenging to address. You’ve been hurt, Ditzy Doo.”
“I’ve been hurt. Yes.”
“But that’s what we’re here to do; we’re here to heal. Now, I know that you’ve been struggling, but we’re going to reclaim what was taken from you in Our Town; your peace, your innocence, and the power to determine who you are.” Silver Spoon said.
“Power? Really?” Ditzy said.
“More than you can possibly imagine. You’ve already made great progress, but this is the next step.” Silver Spoon said with a smile. She turned her notepad around and tapped it with a pen. Ditzy squinted, and read the word "Meditation".
“I think I read that in a self-help book once! And…meditating will do all of that?” Ditzy said.
“It’s a start.” Silver Spoon said.
“Then I’ll do it. Whatever it takes to make a good life for me and my daughter, and…” Ditzy didn’t finish it. She was confident now, moreso than she ever had been, that she was in control. It was her life and her family, and she was going to make it work, one way or another.
Ditzy sprang from her seat and hugged Silver Spoon, who went totally rigid.
“What are…what are you doing?” Silver Spoon said.
“Thank you so much…!” Ditzy sniffled. She trembled as Silver Spoon reached up slowly and stroked her hair.





Starlight Glimmer stood on the hill overlooking the crater when Our Town had been. After hugs, tears, and empty promises to stay in touch, Starlight watched as Ditzy Doo and Sugar Belle waved from the back of a bus. She held a phone to her ear.
“I don’t think I’m allowed to talk about it.” Starlight said.
“It’s seriously all gone?” Sunburst said. He had been panicking very vocally for the last few hours, and now his voice was tired and hoarse.
“It’s gone.” Starlight said.
“You’re welcome to come and stay at my place while you figure things out. Considering the circumstances, I’m sure Mom would be fine with that.”
“I don’t want to owe Stellar Flare anything.”
There was a lengthy, painful silence. Starlight simply wasn't ready.
“Well, what are you going to do?” 
Starlight shivered and yawned, watching as the storm clouds rolled away. Her family, her past, and any trajectory for the future had all been sucked into the rift, leaving Starlight with nothing but a gray feeling of numbness that she couldn’t quite describe. The night was cold and deeply unpleasant, but now at the very least, it was quiet.
“I think I’m going to sleep for a week.” Starlight said.
“I get it. I get that something unbelievable happened and you’re processing right now. I’m going to call again in the morning, to make sure you’re okay.”
“Okay. Thank you, Sunburst. You’re just about the only family I’ve got left.” Starlight said. Wherever her brain was floating, it suddenly cringed, but Starlight could barely register it under all the emotional exhaustion.
“Stay safe. I’ll talk to you soon. I..it’s going to be okay.” Sunburst lied.
“Thank you.” Starlight said and dropped the call.
Starlight tensed up as a warm leather jacket was laid over her shoulders. She shimmied over in the grass as Sunset Shimmer sat beside her.
“Are you okay?” Sunset said.
“No.” Starlight said. “Sunset, who are you, really? What is…what was all of this?”
“Well…to start, I’m your friend. And I wasn’t joking when I said I was part of a group of paranormal investigators.”
“Are you with the government?”
“I can’t say.”
“So this was like…like an X-Files thing. You’re out here trying to deal with magic, aliens, and…demons.”
“Pretty much.”
“So this whole thing is going to be erased.”
“...Yes.”
“What could I have done?”
“What’s that?”
“What could I have done differently to stop this? If I never flew out here, then-”
“Don’t do that! None of this was your fault! You couldn’t have known what your Dad would do.”
“I could have guessed most of it.” Starlight snarled. She pulled her knees to her chest and squinted against the hot tears threatening to spill over. “I knew the kind of thing my dad was capable of, and I didn’t do anything. I was so wrapped up my own, stupid feelings, then I could’ve…!”
“What? What could you have done?” Sunset said. 
Starlight’s hands clutched at the dirt on either side of her, shaking with fury. She put her head down and tried not to sob. Sunset touched her shoulder once more; not a placating gesture, but simple solidarity.
“If you had come earlier, could magic have stopped this?” Starlight said.
“Probably, yes.” Sunset sighed. At least she was honest, Starlight thought.
“Are there others out there, using magic to hurt people?” Starlight said.
“...Anyone can use Equestrian magic, and that means that anyone can be overtaken by it.” The words came out slowly, weighed down by the pain of the admission. Starlight looked up and saw the bags under Sunset’s eyes lit by the glow of a cigarette.
“Teach me.”
“Huh?”
Starlight rose to her feet, wiping her eyes on her sleeve.
“Teach me how to do it. I need to learn how to fight this, because this can never happen again. I can’t ever let this happen again.” Starlight said.
Sunset looked at her, then back at the crater. She took a deep, shoulder-slumping breath.
“You’re going to say I can’t do it.” Starlight said.
“No. I’ll teach you.”
“Really? Just like that?”
“Just like that.” Sunset smiled. “To be honest, I’m tired of doing this by myself.” 
Starlight would take to the art of monster hunting very quickly. She studied with a furious drive, spending hours pouring over books, listening to Sunset’s stories, and trying to shoot lasers from her hands. When she learned that she couldn’t harness magic without some components, she threw a tantrum so furious that even Sunset Shimmer had to simply step back and let her burn through it.
Even with her lack of mana, Starlight would become a formidable presence in any magical engagement she found herself in. With magic, she could right any wrong. She could fix any problem. She could fly.
Nothing in the world could stop her dogged pursuit of any and all magical anomalies, and that’s why when she became a full-fledged agent of the Pillars Organization, she was given the privilege of defending Canterlot.





Starlight leaned against the cold cave wall, eyes on the floor as she stepped out of the painful memory, her face the very picture of defiance. This was in spite of the tear tracks on her face, which Buck didn’t dare point out.
The newly named Greg the changeling was on the ceiling, looking around with shivering tension.
Buck was across the tunnel, his raised hand filling the cavern with a soft red glow. The flickering light made Buck’s horrified expression look all the more ghastly. It was the face of a man acting brave even though he was watching a horror movie alone.
“First of all, I’m sorry that-”
“Save it.” Starlight cut Buck off. “I’ve cried enough by now. Why be quiet about it?”
“...your Dad was sick.”
“My Dad was cruel! He was cruel, and selfish, and he used people! He was a manipulator and a monster, and it’s good that he’s dead!” Starlight shouted.
“Be quiet about it.” Greg said, in Starlight’s voice, holding up a finger before its mouth. 
"No one asked you!" Starlight glared at Greg with searing hatred in her eyes. The changeling scuttled to Buck’s side, trying to look as small as possible in his broad-shouldered shadow.
“Don’t let that thing fool you.” Starlight growled.
“Greg’s fine.” Buck said, patting the creature on the shoulder.
“Fine.” Greg buzzed.
"It's evil!"
"It's a literal baby!"
"It came from evil! Chrysalis is a monster; a manipulator just like my Dad, but even less subtle about it! She's built a fortress that she's going to use to do..."
"What?"
"I don't know what, but it can't be good! She needs to go down, just like my Dad did. The hive needs to go, just like Our Town needed to go, and if we don't act fast, we might be too late to stop her!"
"Okay, but we're here to catch her, right? We're not here to kill a single mom and her kids, right?"
"We're here to do whatever we have to!"
"Why does that have to involve hurting her?"
"Because she's evil, Buck! This isn't some philosophical exercise! We live in a universe where evil exists! There's good magic, and there's evil magic, and the changelings are made of evil magic! Objective evil!"
"And who the fuck gets to decide what Objective Evil is!?" Buck shot back.
"I DO!" Starlight exploded. "I do, because I've seen it! He had me fooled; he had everyone fooled, thinking he was some sort of humanitarian, all just so he could use us to fulfill a sick power fantasy! But that’s what manipulators do! They find people who are at their lowest point and offer them the bare minimum, then they use you and use you until there’s nothing left! THAT'S FUCKING EVIL!” Starlight raved, her fists squeezing so tight that her nails drew blood. She shut her eyes and made a valiant attempt at calming down.
Starlight had years to speculate after Our Town. Her Father may have seemed like a good man at some point in his life, but he did truly despicable things, and it wasn't because the devil twisted his mind; it was because he was toxic from the start. Starlight knew this, the way she knew the sun would rise in the morning. 
“I know I’ve been hard on you, and a lot of that was undeserved.” Starlight said.
“It’s because I remind you of him.” Buck said, quietly.
Starlight looked at him like a bit of roadkill she had stepped on. Buck didn’t meet her eye.
“Let's just be honest, alright? I remind you of your old man. And that’s why Ditzy is so fucking scared of me.” Buck said.
“The reason I’m mad at you, is because you keep going back to Adagio, expecting her to be anything other than a user! She is going to bleed you dry, and she’s going to drag everyone around her straight to hell in the process! You have to see that!” Starlight said.
Buck was silent. He looked at Greg, and gave the changeling scout a bit of pink mana. Greg ate it out of the palm of his hand, then looked up at Buck, mirroring his smile perfectly.
“I don’t think she will.” Buck said, finally. He raised a hand, stopping Starlight before she could launch into another tirade. “Let me finish. I don’t think Adagio’s gonna do that, cause she already tried that at the Battle of the Bands. She’s not that person no more.”
“What are you talking about?”
Greg tugged on Buck’s pant leg. Buck nodded at the scout and followed as it scuttled down the corridor.
“That person wasn’t the same one that was banished by the Pillars of Equestria, and that person wasn’t the same one that tore down the G.G.A.A. ‘dagio’s been around a long time. She’s had hundreds of years to perfect the art of being a mean-ass disney villain. And despite all’a that, despite what she’d say, Adagio’s changed since the night I met her. She’s on our side.”
“She’s on her own side! She’s just trying to use you!”
“She’s just trying to live! You haven’t seen what I seen. I’ve seen that woman feel remorse. Seen her, seen her break down in tears, because she misses her family! I’ve seen her lament the loss of a world that she hated. I’ve…I know that she’s usin’ me, alright? But I don’t think that’s all there is to it.”
“Oh, brother!”
“Maybe, like this little guy here, if she gets fed and loved, she’ll realize she actually can be vulnerable. She needs friends, Glimglam. And she needs me.”
“Oh, here we go! Here comes Buck; a guy who thinks he can deal with a literal super villain by sticking his dick in it!"
"Don't knock it til' ya try it."
"After everything I’ve told you, how can you be so naive? Adagio’s been corrupted by Equestrian magic for centuries! She’s just going to do to you what Tirek did to my Dad!” Starlight was tearing up now.
“No, she’s not. That ain’t what she’s tryin’ to do.” Buck said.
“You can’t know that!”
“She’s old. Old, and tired, and she’s scared of change, and in spite of all that, she's already done a ton to help me with my magic."
"So she can use it."
Buck rolled his eyes.
"So I can fucking use it! Who do you think taught me this!? It wasn't you, that's for sure!" He focused on the ball of red mana, and with great effort, it flickered into a flaming cube, then a wiggling penis, then back to the pulsing ball. Greg the changeling watched with absolute awe. 
"So she taught you some crummy magic tricks; big whoop."
"Starlight, don't you get it? I can use this power to do ANYTHING!" Buck said.
"And all Adagio sees is a destructive force that she can tap!" Starlight snarled.
"No, that's what you fucking see!" A flare. Starlight glared at Buck, and for the length of a candle's flicker, she saw a demon standing there.
"Look I know you're the big ol' badass huntress here, but I know magic can go both ways. I’ve seen it turn Sunnybuns into a monster, and I’ve also seen it turn her into somethin’ incredible, and it was all because the Rainbooms gave her a chance.” Buck said.
“No. Hell no! Adagio is nothing like Sunset Shimmer! She's a monster, and I'm not giving her a chance!"
"Then give it to me." Buck said.
"...what are you saying?"
"I never been no gamblin' man, but I'm willing to put my chips on Adagio Dazzle. She won't turn me into a monster."
"You don't know that."
“But if she does, if I do turn into monster...you can kill me.”
Silence slammed into the chamber like a falling guillotine. Buck squinted at Starlight, refusing even to blink in the face of her glare.
“You’d consent to that?” Starlight said.
“Stake my life on it.” Buck said. To Starlight's horror, she recognized the resolve in his eyes. There was no hint of a bluff.
“Fine.”
“But until that day comes, I’m the one that decides what to do with my magic, alright? Not you, not Adagio, not nobody but me. And you’re gonna respect my wishes, and treat me like an actual teammate instead’a like a battery. Can we call that square?”
“Fine! That's fine, but when we’re in the thick of things, you have to go with me instead of starting a fight!”
“Bitch, you swung first!”
The red light popped and flared.
“After you screamed in my face!”
“After you’ve been talkin’ shit at me since the moment we met! I was just standin’ up for myself and–fuck this. Same team, so fuck this. Just collab with me on the plan before we’re in the shit, alright?”
The mana receded back to a flickering flame. For once, Starlight was impressed.
“Deal.” Starlight said.
“And no killin’. We’re here to save everyone!”
“We’re here to get the Queen so we can question her!”
“No killin’!”
"But the changelings-"
"You're not usin' my magic to kill nobody!"
“Fine, fuck! No one dies!”
“And! You gotta be nice to ‘dagio.”
“Don’t push your luck!”
Greg tensed. Buck and Starlight glared at each other for a few seconds, then Buck let out a wheeze and started giggling.
Starlight blinked at Buck incredulously, but as he held his stomach in a laughing fit, she couldn’t help but start chuckling as well. Starlight was trying to catch her breath when Buck straightened up and held out his hand.
“Alrighty, alright, you’ve got yourself a deal!” Buck said.
“Right.” Starlight said.
Buck slapped his hand into Starlight’s, shaking it with all the fervor of a used car salesman. A sudden wave of blazing giddiness crashed into Starlight, red sparks sizzling around her head like tiny fireworks. A bit of color returned to Starlight’s pale purple face, and Buck saw her smile like a race car driver cutting a promo.
“Wow. Is this what you feel like all the time?”
“Only when I really care about somethin’. Right now, that somethin’ is you, Starlight Glimmer.” Buck said.
Starlight pulled Buck into a hug; a squeeze so tight it was almost painful. Buck heard her sniffle, so he patted her back.
“Uh…you good?” Buck said.
Starlight pushed him away, a look of absolute embarrassment spilling across her face. For a second, the red sparks died down, but they rose again as Starlight found her determination.
“Let’s get a move on. We need to get to the hive and regroup!” Starlight said.
“Right!” Buck said. 
Starlight held out a hand, and a spell circle traced its own glowing red lines into existence on the earthen floor. 
“Oohhh hell yes!” Starlight said.
Buck and Starlight lifted into the air, wrapped in a sparkling red glow.
“Alright Greg, take us there!” Buck said.
Greg took off on buzzing wings, with Buck and Starlight floating just behind. For the first time in a long time, Starlight Glimmer wasn't charged with piss and vinegar. She was running on hope. A hope she shared with Buck. 
Hope that maybe, things were finally turning around.





The entrance to the Snowdrop Inn was a resplendent bit of old-world architecture. A pair of glass doors gilt with swirling golden snowflakes. The majestic valley view was blocked by a thick wall of snow.
The drones buzzed about on their typical errands of upkeep, but one came to a stop, its ears twitching oddly.
It was a sound like a faucet blasting hot water into a sink. A low hiss rose. The glass doors warped in a green glow, and then exploded inward, scattering snow, glass, and a couple of drones across the floor.
Queen Chrysalis strode back into her hive, her regal poise only slightly dampened by her cold shiver. Her jet-colored skin and thin, willowy form were dotted with frost. Her dark green human nipples poke out indignantly.
“Clothes. I forgot to put on human clothes, and now I’m freezing.” Chrysalis muttered.
A few drones scuttled in behind her, carrying Sunburst’s limp body down a corridor.
“One of you get me a robe!”
As the Queen of the changelings strode to her bedroom, a bank of snow fell down, burying the entrance to the hotel once more. The dark stony substance of the hive crinkled as it enveloped the space where the doors had been.
Chrysalis sat once more before the mirror in her lavishly appointed suite. A pair of drones draped a thick bathrobe over her shoulders as she plucked her pilfered phone from the counter.
Despite how truly awful humans were, she had to admit their technology eclipsed anything Equestria had to offer. The idea of coordinating her troupes without the use of magic greatly excited the Queen of the Changelings, but so far the bulk of her children had melted into slime before they could learn how to use a smartphone.
Still, not all of them were blanket failures. Chrysalis grinned as she dialed and waited for an answer.
“Hello. Yes, yes, of course. You read your lines? Did you get the sample? Excellent. You are to return to the Hive as soon as possible. I’ll need you here for the next phase. Plan D, then Plan M. Yes, yes, I know you’re excited. How? I’ll arrange something in just a moment.”
Chrysalis laid out her treasures on the counter; the dark leatherbound book, the cracked changeling stone, and hair from two of her precious honored guests.
It was only a matter of time before the rest of them arrived. Chrysalis didn’t have much time to get ready. 
“Bring me the components for Plan D!” Chrysalis said. 
“Ugghhh…” Groaned something. The Queen’s eyes fell on a hunched form bound to a chair in the corner of the bedroom.
“And you, stop your whining! Your Queen needs to focus!”
There was an obnoxious scraping sound as a squad of drones dragged several logs into the bedroom.
“Those accursed ghouls made the mistake of underestimating me. Trying to keep me in the dark while using my children to supply their pathetic schemes with mana. Did they forget that information gathering is a specialty of my kind?” Chrysalis said. 
A pulsing green glow lifted the strands of hair, as well as several of the photographs ringing Chrysalis’ mirror, placing them strategically on the logs.
“If they think I don’t know what they’re planning, they’re truly hopeless. I need to move quickly, or none of us will be spared.” Chrysalis said.
Chrysalis winced as green light poured from her horn. More holes opened in her limbs as the crackling energy filled the room.
“Soon, I’ll have everything I need to get out of this loathsome arrangement. And in the wake of the coming storm, I will rule this world. Nothing can stop the rebirth of the changelings!”




> Chapter 36 - Hellbent (Mystery Skulls)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound that magic makes is as distinct and personal as an unexpected sneeze.
While some auras whistle like wind through a train tunnel, others buzz like a platoon of irate hornets, while still others hiss like a casserole after its third molten minute in the microwave.
Starlight Glimmer had never really thought much about her aura’s sound. She knew Sunbursts’ aura intimately. It had a soft, fatherly hum, and it twinkled like chimes in a warm breeze. Sometimes he would spend a bit of quartz just to cover his hands in that aura and rub Starlight’s shoulders. It was like getting a massage from a ray of sunshine.
The first time Starlight Glimmer cast a spell, it was like a cannon blast. Starlight had reached the edge of her desperation, and in one last act of defiance, she lost the only family she had.
The second time, it was the sharp crack of a silenced pistol. 
In a green, breezy valley tucked in the soft northeastern fringe of the Rocky Mountains, a tree fell in half. Its bisected trunk smoked in the twilight star shine.
Starlight Glimmer stood in the forest shallows, her eyes glowing in the warmth of a campfire, her hand turning to another tree with a target nailed to it.
“Come on…come on…just get it right!”
Starlight fanned out her fingertips, squeezing the quartz in her other hand. A searing cyan light sliced through the air. 	Crack!
The tree slid down itself, cut in half as if by a blade. It crashed into the grass, and so did the two on either side of it, then one on either side of both of them. Another failure.
“Damn it!” Starlight hissed. 
She was younger and softer, then, having enjoyed her stay away from hard manual labor, preferring a sporty blouse and a skort to the modest colonial clothes she’d burned before leaving Fillydelphia. She hadn’t shaved her legs in weeks, and it felt fucking fantastic not to have anyone judging her for it.
Suddenly, Starlight heard a shuffling in the brush. Before she could reach for another chunk of quartz, she was blinded by a sudden flash! Instead of death or demons, a familiar voice filled Starlight with dread.
“Excellent work. Look at that perfect finish!” Sunset Shimmer said, pointing a flashlight at the stumps. The edges of the blast were as smooth as a razor’s edge.
“Uhh...thanks?” Starlight said, shaking her smoking fingertips.
 “It’s only been a week, and you’ve got mana projection down to a science. So why are you sneaking out here with my spare quartz to practice it?” Sunset Shimmer said.
Her fencing foil hung from her belt, its encrusted rubies shining in the fire’s light.
Starlight became a small, stammering girl in the presence of the hand on Sunset’s hip.
“It’s…! Well…it’s a slice!” Starlight said. “I want it to be like a nail!”
“It’s supposed to be like a hard punch. A non-lethal punch.” Sunset said.
“What if I fight something with armor? My beams have to get through!” Starlight pouted.
“Starlight, I’m not teaching you to kill monsters, I’m teaching you magic!”
“So I can fight monsters!”
“So you can be ready to protect yourself and others when things get crazy out there! Our job is to contain magical threats. We don’t have to hurt anyone.”
“Well, what if I need to hurt someone!?” Starlight said. “I don’t want to cut anyone in half! Or the people next to them! Just tell me how to do it, one more time!”
Sunset dragged a hand down her face and sighed.
“If I help you fix this, will you promise to relax?”
“Yes!”
“Alright. Look closely at my foil. What do you notice about it?” Sunset said, brandishing her fencing foil. Their fingers brushed briefly as she passed it to Starlight.
Starlight caught herself and squinted at the ornate magical sword. It was bejeweled with rubies around the basket and pommel, which swirled into a fine ribbon of red that twirled around the blade, straight to the tip.
“That it’s the most expensive training sword I’ve ever seen.” Starlight said, handing it back.
Sunset flourished the foil and stabbed at a tree across the clearing. A flash of red coursed through the sword in a blink, and then with a sudden thwack!, a thin bolt of mana struck a dent in the tree. One of the rubies went pale.
“And you power it with rubies.” Starlight said.
“Sort of. The swirl is meant to be like a unicorn’s horn, since I don’t have one over here. It makes it easy to direct my mana. I send my mana through the blade, and it comes out as a single point; the arcane darts spell.”
“So then, what do the rubies do?”
“They act like a magazine. They absorb my excess mana and store it like ammunition.”
“So even if you run out, you still have a few blasts in there! Smart!” Starlight said.
“But that’s really the only difference. The foil comes to a point, and you’re shooting mana with your fingers fanned out.”
“So what?” Starlight said.
“Remember what I taught you about spell matrixes. You have your power source, and you have your intention; firing a beam at that tree. But that’s only half of the equation. You’re missing the emotion.”
“I have plenty of emotion! I need to get this right or people will get hurt!”
“No, you have plenty of stress. You’re mistaking urgency for emotional clarity. I…don’t think you know what you’re aiming at, and that’s why it’s coming out as a wide slice.”
“I’m aiming at a tree! One tree!”
“So, try pointing. Here, grab another quartz,” Sunset said. She stepped behind Starlight and took her by the arm, guiding it gently toward another nearby tree. Her voice was next to Starlight's ear. “And plant your feet.”
“Right…” Starlight said. She adjusted her stance with a slight blush.
“Now let me just…” Sunset closed Starlight’s fingers, pointing her index digit alone at the target. “There. And what did I tell you to do next?”
“Picture a horn in my mind. My emotion lights it, my intention points it…” Starlight said.
“Exactly. Now find your focus. Don’t close your eyes! Aim.”
“Justice.” Starlight whispered. She imagined her father’s face. A violent blue spark leapt from Starlight’s eyes and down her arm, streaking through her fingertips.
“Hold it there! Right there!” Sunset said.
Starlight gritted her teeth. A ball of crackling mana halted in front of her finger.
“Excellent control! Now hold it…hold it…” Sunset said, her gloved hand slipping from Starlight’s form. She tapped the mana ball with a finger, and a red flash turned it larger, making it strobe purple. Arcs of chaotic energy leapt across its surface like solar flares.
“What the hell is that!?” Starlight said.
“That’s what we call a conflict of interest.” Sunset said coldly. “As you know, my spell focus is Empathy.” She stepped in front of Starlight, directly in the path of the beam.
“What are you doing!?” Starlight tried to pull away, but Sunset Shimmer caught her wrist in an iron grip.
“Are you scared you might hurt me?” Sunset said.
“Let go!” Starlight said, sweat beading on her brow. In her mind, she saw a blast of blue light drill a hole through Sunset's stomach. The mana ball crackled and quivered.
“Are you scared!?”
“Yes! Yes I’m scared!”
“Good! Because now you understand what you’re playing with! Your spells are your creations; an extension of you! They shape you just as much as you shape them, and you’re using them to build a gun. Do you think you can fire a gun with empathy?”
“I won’t use it unless I have to!” Starlight pleaded, desperately trying to pull her hand away. The ball of mana ballooned in size, crackling with power.
“If you put all of your focus on learning how to kill, what will that make you!?” Sunset said.
“Whatever I have to be!” Starlight shouted over the roaring fistful of power. “Whatever I have to be so what happened in Fillydelphia never happens again!”
Sunset Shimmer yanked Starlight’s hand skyward. Boom! A blue-flamed cannon blast blazed a streak of dawn across the night sky. Starlight’s knees gave out. She fell to the ground, watching the colors fade as nesting birds took a sudden and urgent vacation from the area.
All of that from a tiny crystal, Starlight thought.
“Starlight, I understand where you’re coming from, I really do. But the kind of power you’re trying to develop is…dangerous.” Sunset said.
“All of it is dangerous.” Starlight said, crossing her arms.
“Which is why we have to be extra responsible. Hurting people isn’t justice. Saving people is. Understand?”
“...I understand,” Starlight said.
Finally, Sunset’s stone-cold glare softened. She helped Starlight to her feet.
“Good. I going to teach you how to shoot the bolt you’re looking for.”
“What!? But you just said-”
“Because if I don’t, you’re going to keep sneaking out here to practice until you actually hurt something,” Sunset said. Starlight looked down and saw Sunset’s naked hand on her wrist.
“Oh.” Starlight blushed.
“And I know I can trust you to use it responsibly,” Sunset said. She turned Starlight’s palm up and scribbled into it with a sharpie. It was a spell circle; a collection of lines and runes that created a matrix for spellcasting. In a red flash, a marble of energy floated just above the circle, spinning slowly, and to Starlight’s surprise, with a definite stability.
“Wha-how?” Starlight said.
“Because you’re a good person, Starlight Glimmer. I know that when the time comes, you’ll do the right thing. Now hold that spell.” Sunset said.
“For how long?”
“Until I say so.”
“WHAT!?” The red ball flared like a small star, fueled by Starlight’s panic.
“Don’t lose control!” Sunset said. “If justice is your spell focus, you need to keep it in the back of your mind. To do what you have to, you have to think about justice as a necessity instead of an act of violence. When you’re using this kind of power, it’s your responsibility to do the right thing with it.”
Starlight remembered her mother’s words. 
“Life is unfair...but if I can save at least one person, I’ve made the world a better place. It’s the right thing to do.”
The mana shrunk inward, turning blue. It sounded like the twinkling of piano keys. It pulsed with Starlight’s heartbeat. 
It was beautiful.
“Okay, it’s getting dark. Let’s head back!” Sunset said.
Starlight kept focus on the ball, spinning it on her finger with great care all the way back to the cabin, then the couch.
“Oh, and this came for you! It’s from Sunburst.” Sunset said, holding out a wrapped parcel. Starlight stared at her.
“Right, here, let me open it.”
There was a crinkle of wrapper and a silent smile.
“What is it?”
“It’s another set of pirated blu-rays. Oh! Sailor Moon! And what’s…Wander over Yonder?”
“I don’t have time for that! I need to focus on this exercise.” Starlight said, her eyes back on the ball of mana.
“Didnt you just promise me that you’d relax?”
“If I relax, this thing will shoot off!” Starlight said. The ball crackled and grew in size. “What am I supposed to learn from shooting a hole in the ceiling!?”
“Good question.” Sunset said, cracking open a can of beer. “When you carry a weapon, you always run the risk of it causing harm. That’s what they’re designed to do. Relax. Deep breaths.”
“How am I supposed to relax when there’s a deadly spell in my hand!?” Starlight said.
“Starlight, now that you’re a sorcerer, there will always be a deadly spell in your hand. You need to learn how to live with that right now, or you’ll regret it later.”
“I know I'll regret it if I shoot my eye out!” Starlight grumbled. “Stay in control…stay in control…!” 
The ball warbled unsteadily, little flares licking off it as it threatened to go supernova. Sunset smiled and pinched the ball of mana between her fingers, snuffing it like a candle.
“What? How did you? What even…!”
“Once you can hold it in your sleep, we’ll practice the beam again.”
In the days to come, Starlight would excel at fine mana control. She’d learn snares and spell circles and other arcane secrets that would help her in a pinch. On occasion, Starlight lost focus and dropped the spell; cutting a slice out of a stack of firewood, scaring off some wildlife, or shooting the top off a toothbrush. It happened six times exactly; Starlight couldn't help but keep score.
By the time Starlight Glimmer returned to Canterlot, she still wasn’t sure what Sunset had been trying to teach her.
All she had to do was hold a crystal and think about a manticore barreling down on a child, or a nice couple getting mugged in an alleyway, and the power would follow. She knew now that the problem was bigger than she’d ever imagined. There were monsters everywhere; not just the kind that came over from Equestria, but far darker, far deadlier ones lying in wait behind the eyes of everyone she met.
Sometimes, all she had to do was think of a friendly smile, and the word “welcome”. 
Crack!
A few miles away from the city limits, the dying light over Canterlot shone through a perfect hole in the side of a boulder. The spell was exactly what Starlight needed it to be. Focused, precise and deadly. By then, she had started hunting in earnest. She couldn't remember when she'd started killing. She didn't keep score of that.
Sunburst was on his feet, scribbling calculations in a notebook before Starlight even finished firing off the second beam, which clipped the top off a tree a few yards behind the boulder.
“That’s 65 yards! Incredible!” Sunburst said. Starlight was sitting.
Starlight had been doing a lot of sitting then. It was hard to walk off the training range with her leg in a cast. 





Starlight and Buck raced through the Canterlot tunnels at the speed of a determined cyclist. Enshrouded by Buck’s magic, lifted by Starlight’s focused determination, the two followed the newly named Gregor the changeling as it zoomed ahead on ragged wings.
As Starlight remembered her training, a shiver ran down her spine. How many changelings had she killed in just this outing alone? Were they keeping score? Shouldn't she be keeping score? The thought chilled her.
But now wasn’t the time for second thoughts.
“I bet this is what skydiving is like! It’s like; it’s like falling sideways! You’re controlling this, right?” Buck said, none the wiser to Starlight’s turmoil.
“I’ve got you!” Starlight shouted. “Also, duck!”
Buck stooped his head as a thick wooden beam zipped over it.
“‘Hey, did you and Sunset bang?” Buck said. 
“That’s none of your business!!” Starlight snapped, and the two sped up.
Buck ducked a cross beam, spun in the air beneath another, laughed, and then hit his funny bone on a third.
“GAH, FUCK! You did that on purpose!” Buck said.
“Sorry!” Starlight said. Their soaring bodies dipped closer to the floor, where a set of rusty tracks stretched into the darkness.
“Nevermind, nevermind! So what’s our game plan? Obviously they’re gonna let me into the hive, but what about you?”
“My first priority is regrouping with Adagio and Sunburst! I'll try to slip in unseen. Have you thought about what you’re going to do?”
“What’cha mean?”
“I mean, you’re letting this one take you into the Hive.”
“Into the Hive!” Greg said.
“Pretty clever, right?” Buck said.
“What are you going to do when you’re in there? We’ve been down here for hours; even someone like you must have thought of a plan by now.” Starlight said.
“Huh. Well…I figured I'd chat up the Queen. Play nice, find out what she’s about, keep her company, all that stuff! That’s kind of my main thing.”
Starlight came to a halt in mid-air, which caught Buck unawares in a manner similar to getting knocked off a scooter. He did a couple of mid-air flips, waving his arms awkwardly as Starlight glared at him.
“You can’t just talk to her!” Starlight said.
“Why not?”
“What do you mean why not!? She’s an evil body snatcher who’s way out of your league!”
“Wow. Woooow!”
“I mean as in a monster, not as a date, you jackass!” 
“You’d be amazed at the power of “just talk.”” Buck said, floating upside down.
“You can’t just laugh and joke your way through villains like her!” 
“Why not? I might be able to get some info out of her if we get to talking! Besides, she might show a different side of herself if she's treated with civility."
"Haven't you heard the saying; When people show you who they really are, believe them the first time?"
"Maya Angelou, yeah. I get it, but-"
"Changelings thrive on trickery, and the Queen is the trickiest of all! If she gets you alone, she'll juice up on your magic, and then the whole mission will be compromised!"
“Okay, but what if I don’t, like…give it to her?”
“Well, that’s ridiculous; that’s not how-”
“Do changelings feed on each other?”
“No, they don’t. Or, I don’t think so? Sunburst would know.”
“Don’t, or can’t?”
“What does it matter?”
“It fucking matters! If they choose not to, that’s one thing, but if they just can’t do it, that’s huge. They aren’t cannibals, right? Okay, I’m a changeling, I’m starving, I’m falling apart, and the only thing I know how to do is hunt and eat, and I’m not doing it all the time, even when there’s a whole mess of others around me? That don’t make no sense!” Buck said.
“No sense. Starving.” Greg nodded.
“Okay, what’s your point?” Starlight said.
“Well…you said changelings are born manipulators. Maybe that’s not true. I mean, nobody is born evil.”
“Just keep telling yourself that.”
“Oh yeah? Do you try to be an asshole, or is it hereditary?”
Buck expected a punch, but instead, Starlight crossed her arms in a frazzled pout.
“Shut up.”
“Point is, maybe they manipulate people because they can’t just take the love by force.”
“...they have to seduce you, first! Like Adagio did with you! Like Chrysalis did!”
Buck clutched the side of his head, grunting in pain. The red mana flickered, and for a second, Starlight was terrified. She touched the memory stone still in her pocket.
“Puh-leeez don’t tell me that the Queen jumped on my dick and I don’t remember it…” Buck said.
“You still had your pants on when we rescued you.” Starlight said.
“Okay, so she’s got some fucking standards, at least, that’s a good sign. As long as I don’t give it up…”
“She can’t take it from you!” Starlight said. “You can give her the run around while we regroup!”
“Up top!” Buck said, lifting a hand.
“Not on your life. What if she gets mad and tears you to shreds?”
“And get rid of her meal ticket? These guys are dying out here!” Buck said.
“Dying.” Greg whined. Buck held out a handful of pink mana, which the changeling ate ravenously mid-stride.
“Heh, their tongue is dry! Like a parrot! Gross.” Buck chuckled. “But naw, I don’t think so. That lady; she’s obviously got the head for all this tactical espionage shit, but she’s in enemy territory. Holed up in a base, sure, but you can’t defend against low supplies. She’d be gettin’ desperate about now, and I’m the best shot she’s got at keeping this thing going. She won’t take me out, just like…just like Adagio wouldn’t. My magic’s the thing.”
Starlight watched the man deflate. Now they were coasting through the air at a slower pace, giving Buck ample time to fall back into his feelings.
Starlight thought very hard, reached deep into her chest and, despite a grim look of effort on her face, she made her best attempt at a compliment.
“You really do have a knack for this.”
“Naw, naw, I’m just thinkin’ about some of Granny Smith’s old war stories. Now there’s a real tactical mind; you oughta recruit her!” Buck deflected.
“Who?”
“AJ’s mawmaw? No? Don’t matter. Look, whatever you may think about me, Glimglam, none of this is for me. All’a this is another bit of Canterlot weirdness that I got sucked into. I don’t like hurtin’ nobody, and I never wanted to be a fuckin’ poker chip in a game for urban fantasy protags.”
“...You know, you don’t have to be?”
“What?”
“I mean, not right now, but when the danger has passed, we could just set you back to where you were before you met Adagio. We erase people’s memories all the time. That’s most of what our case handler does-clean up the trauma from magical events.”
“No, I don’t want you creeps to wipe my mind! That shit's cracked!”
Starlight had never felt so loathsome and guilty. She had to believe she had made the right choice.
“The point I’m trying to make is that you have something I didn’t; a way out. If you’re not the kind of person that can handle how things go down the rabbit hole, you don’t have to try. When this is over, you can do whatever you want.”
“The hell do you mean “not the kind”?”
“Who you are defines what you do. Changelings are born for one purpose; to hunt and eat, so no matter what, that’s what they are going to do.”
Buck looked from Starlight to Greg’s face.
“That’s fuckin’ dumb,” Buck said. “You got it backwards; what you do defines who you are. If you shoot somebody in the face, you’re not Dave from accounting anymore, you’re the guy that shot Jerry from HR in the face.”
The red aura moving the pair flickered. Starlight and Buck drifted downwards.
“How long do you plan on debating philosophy with me?” Starlight grumbled.
“Until yours starts makin’ sense!”
“...we need to get the lead out. Whatever the queen is cooking up for us, you can bet it’s nothing good.”
“Right. We gotta work together on this one. I know you trust me about as much as a flight of stairs.” Buck said.
“Is that a crack about my leg?” Starlight said.
“Naw, it’s just that stairs are always up to something. Hah! Hahahahah!” Buck laughed, swatting Starlight on the back. Gregor the changeling mimicked the laugh exactly.
Starlight Glimmer groaned and hid a smile before rocketing herself and Buck down the tunnel.





“And then I ran…and like…I didn’t even realize they were still in me until I got back to my dorm! So embarrassing...” Scootaloo grunted. She swung a tennis racket and missed for the fifth ego-crushing time today. Summer sweat glistened on her shoulders as she frowned.
“Matchpoint. Why are you telling me this?” Wind Sprint deadpanned. She gave her racket a few experimental swings as Scootaloo retrieved the ball with effort.
“I dunno; why are we playing tennis?” Scootaloo grunted. The ball sailed over the net.
“Because we don’t have enough people for kickball. And because you refuse to sit down and rest, like you should be.” Wind Sprint said, effortlessly knocking the ball back.
Scootaloo kicked hard, and her old beat-up twin-tip skateboard took her most of the way across her side of the court, but she still missed the tennis ball.
“I’m fine! This board is old, and I’m not used to it anymore!” Scootaloo said. She tried to grab the ball and ended up knocking it several feet away. She swore under her breath, leaned down and tried to hide the tears on the edges of her vision.
“You’re in a cast.” Wind Sprint said.
“Okay, yeah, I’m in a cast, alright!? I’m in a stupid cast, because I broke my stupid ankle, because even though Buck charged me up and touched my butt, I couldn’t stick the landing!” Scootaloo snarled.
“Woah, what? Who’s Buck, again? Is he that guy you were talking to when you tried to save me? What’s your deal with him, anyway?"
“Well, he’s my-I mean we’re like…him and Adagio, they, uh…” Scootaloo didn't have enough calories in her to perform the emotional sleight of hand it normally took to categorize her relationship with Buck and Adagio. Mostly, she just masturbated about it, but after Buck had yelled her and Adagio out of his apartment and a potential second threesome, she was feeling weird about flicking the bean. Nothing felt right anymore.
With no real options, Scootaloo tried to pull an appropriate turn of phrase from the fuzzy sea of shame and arousal in her head. It wasn’t until she was picking at a comfort salad sometime around noon that she managed to toss the right words into a bucket. By then, the pair were sitting outside a little cafe.
“And it’s like, I don’t know what’s going on with him and Adagio and every time I go over to Buck’s place, something awkward or sexy happens and, I wanna say sorry for going through his stuff and I also wanna ask like, woah, man, what kind of hobbies do you have? Like why do you have all of this gear? But he’s mad at me, I know he is! And I can’t even say I’m sorry because they’re all out of town right now, and I’m over here sitting around doing jack squat because I’m in a cast!” Scootaloo’s tirade hit the table, alongside her forehead, with a thud.
“I’m sorry I landed on you…” Wind Sprint said.
“I’m not mad at you! I’m mad because…I had a chance to be the big hero, and I messed it up! Now they’re off saving Canterlot while I just sit around being useless!”
“I don’t think you’re useless. You saved my life, no cap, and you’re the best sprinter in school.”
“Who cares? I don’t even like sprinting! I just did it because Rainbow Dash did it, and I couldn’t even beat her time! Ugh! What am I even doing!?” Scootaloo’s forehead thumped against the table again.
“Uh…wow. Okay. Well, what do you like doing? Maybe you just need to try something different?”
“There’s gotta be something I can do…”
As Scootaloo groaned, a pair of totally innocuous women passed by. One was talking very loudly about ice cream and the other was making a clear effort to ignore her buzzing phone.
“If you want, I could show you my favorite free-running spots! I-I mean, if you’re not busy, or anything…” Wind Sprint said, her eyes falling onto the table like twin grand pianos. “You know, maybe a change of scenery would be good! Summer’s here and there’s tons of stuff to try in town, so maybe we could-" Wind Sprint sheepishly looked up. Scootaloo was gone.
“Or you could just ditch me. That’s cool too, I guess.”
Scootaloo fell into the role of stalker so easily, it honestly creeped her out. It was admittedly hard to sneak around in broad daylight on a cloudless Canterlot summer day, and as the confused pedestrians glanced at her ducking behind a flower pot, Scootaloo made her move. She approached her target as quietly as she could on four wheels.
A whirl of pink and blue turned, pointing a taser in Scootaloo’s face. The mint-colored woman next to her raised an eyebrow.
“Oh! Uh, uh, heeeeey!” Scootaloo said. “Hey, you’re like, Sunburst’s boss or something, right? Do you remember me?”
 “Yeah, Bon Bon? Do you remember her?” Lyra snickered.
Bon Bon’s smile had just won a relay race against an internal scream. Sugar Cube Corner was only two blocks away. Was she ever going to try that damned ice cream?
“I do! It’s Scootaloo, remember, from CHS? She’s a trainee who’s only been to the office once or twice.” Bon Bon seethed. “A real go-getter, even if the top brass doesn’t seem to get that.”
Suddenly, Scootaloo was sitting in every awkward job interview, every nerve-crushing exam at school, and for some strange reason, a few unpleasant dentist visits.
“Right, well, you know, I was wondering if there’s anything I can do today! You know, with the uhhhhhhhhhhh…” Scootaloo’s brain stalled like a dial-up computer. “...case file?” She managed.
“I’m not at work today.” Bon Bon said. Lyra smiled. “But if you want to be working today, which I wouldn’t recommend with that leg…”
“Okay, Mom…” Scootaloo mumbled.
“You can follow up with that housewife case. I’ll text you the details.” Sweetie Drops finished.
“Yes ma’am, uh, uh, boss!” If Scootaloo could scatter like a herd of frightened guinea pigs, she would. After a moment’s scramble, she whipped out her phone to find a simple message; “Ditzy will still be at the clinic for therapy. Keep an eye out for anything suspicious. Stay out of trouble.” The address followed.
And just like that, Scootaloo had a finish line to run to. A target. As long as she had a destination, she could keep moving forward.
With great determination, Scootaloo got on her board, swerved directly into traffic, and disappeared around a corner amidst a chorus of honks and swears.
“...she must have a crazy resume to work at your firm,” Lyra said, squinting down the block.
Agent Sweetie Drops really put her back into a good-natured smile. She hoped it would hold Bon Bon together.





In the lobby of the changeling hive, formerly known as the Snow Drop Inn, on the wall behind the welcome desk, the spell circle through which Minuette had entered flickered like a dying flashlight, then went out.
“Pathetic. You power it; I'll stabilize.” Queen Chrysalis grumbled. By now, she was dressed in a wispy black slip of a bathrobe and a pair of pilfered slippers. The one standing next to her in the darkness tensed up but said nothing.
The portal glowed green, and with a halo of yellow around the edges, it tore a hole in space.
A solitary figure left the alleyway behind the Canterlot clinic and entered the Hive’s lobby. Silver Spoon smiled, handing a tuft of yellow hair to the queen.
“Excellent work. What’s the status on the housewife? Does she suspect anything?” Chrysalis said.
“Not at all. She told me her sad backstory, and then I sent her home. She is p…pro…prog-”
“Progressing!” Chrysalis snapped.
“Progressing! Right!” The drone chirped. “She is progressing just like you said. I gave her the medit-medit…med-”
“Meditation. You gave her the meditation instructions.”
“Yes, Mom! Er, ma’am, er…”
“Queen. I am your Queen.”
“Yes! I also brought you a gift!” Silver Spoon said, producing a steaming paper cup from behind her back.
“And this is…?”
“Coffee, my Queen!”
“Ah, yes. I’ve seen this. The humans use it as fuel when the drudgery of their pathetic lives weighs them down. It is sacred to them. You’ve done well in stealing it.”
Queen Chrysalis grinned and took a confident sip, then coughed as the black liquid burned bitterly in her mouth. The shadowy figure beside her chuckled in a low, nasally tone, only to recoil as the queen snarled at him.
“You’ve done well. Now, go coordinate the others. Our guests will be arriving soon.” She said to Silver Spoon, who bowed and wandered away. “And take off that disguise! You look ridiculous.” Chrysalis said. 
Silver Spoon’s shoulders sagged, and what emerged from a sudden flash of green was a changeling drone that, for once, was not melting into a puddle as it scuttled away.
“And as for you…” Chrysalis said. She snapped her fingers, and a drone tossed a sack at her feet. It was full of quartz crystals, their shine glimmering in the eyes of the shadowy figure.
 “It’s only a matter of time before one of those fools comes to “rescue” our food stores.” Chrysalis said. “You can guess which one.”
There was a grin and a nod.
“You know the plan. Have fun.” Chrysalis said.
The two parted, neither seeing the petite form that hopped through the portal before it closed nor its shocked purple eyes, which watched the shadowy figure depart.





Meanwhile, not too far away, Greg came to a dead stop.
“A way out.” Greg said in Starlight’s voice, then punctuated with Buck’s. “Hive” 
Starlight snuffed the red aura, holding a fist up to Buck before skulking around the corner to get a good look.
The tight cave tunnel opened onto a massive chamber. A waterfall coursed through a wide cave mouth some thirty feet up, feeding an underground stream that twinkled in the noon light. Starlight could see the shadow of a towering building; surely this was the edge of the hive! It might have made for a pretty decent postcard were it not for the fact that this cave was positively swarming with changeling drones, moving like a determined anthill. They were in varying stages of dress, but many of them had tools in their hands.
The laborious sounds of metal on stone could be heard from around a bend.
Starlight ushered Buck back into the dark and explained the situation.
“Woah, you kinda buried the lead there! What’re they doing?” Buck said.
“Who knows? Buck, ask the changeling if we’re close, and how we can get into the hive.” Starlight said, poking at her phone. She attempted to make a call, and paled as she got no response.
“Close.” Greg said.
“He’s got ears, Glimglam. He can understand you. Where’s it at, Greg?” Buck said.
Gregor the changeling pointed, with his fist instead of a finger, across the chamber to a tunnel guarded by several drones.
“Of course. No help at all.” Starlight groaned, rooting around in her pocket. She produced a pebble of sunstone, which floated off her palm, turning like a compass needle.
“What’s that?”
“A sensing stone. Sunburst and I always keep a pair attuned to one another, in case we get separated.” Starlight said.
“That’s really sweet.” Buck said.
“He’s not answering his phone. He always answers his phone.” Starlight said. “That means he…he’s in danger, or he’s already been caught.”
“Oh shit. Then they got him and Adagio?”
“Unless Adagio sold him out.”
“She wouldn’t do that.”
“How would you know?”
A thin beam of yellow light shot out of the stone, but it splintered, blinkering as it extended upward and through the cave wall. The stone spun strangely, and then loudly cracked in two. Starlight’s eyes widened with barely restrained panic.
“Is it supposed to do that?” Buck said.
“We need to get through here, now!” Starlight said.
“Uhh, I think we’ve got bigger problems.” Buck said.
Every drone in the cavern stopped. With a round of hisses, they all stalked toward Buck, Starlight, and Greg.
“Through here.” Greg hissed, stepping in front of Buck. 
“We have to fight!” Starlight said, drawing on the cave wall with a piece of chalk. A red flash, a low rumble, and suddenly a long stone pole emerged from the stone wall. It had a wide half-circle at the end.
“Wait, wait, wait!” Buck said. “No killin’ nobody!”
“That’s why this is a man-catcher and not a spear.” Starlight growled, clutching the polearm.
The malformed horde crept closer, their mouths filled with dagger points.
“Okay, hol’ up, remember the plan! Hey there, folks! It’s me, Buck, that guy you’ve been after! It looks like you caught me, haha! I’m gonna go ahead and let Greg here bring me to the Queen!” Buck announced.
Greg the changeling puffed out his chest and said “The Queen!” with great pomp and circumstance. 
The trio stepped forward, and the drones parted to let them pass, their eyes all swiveling to follow in unison.
“Buck, wait a second…” Starlight said.
The drones closed in behind the trio, prowling closer.
“What’s up? This is goin’ good, right? They’re not gonna come after me, ‘cause I’m the macguffin.” Buck said, a bit of a strut in his step. The changelings hissed at each other, speaking in a tongue that humans had no chance of understanding. Greg was shivering with fear, but he nonetheless strode through the horde, proud of his acquisition.
“That’s not the problem! They aren’t going to hurt you because you’re important! But what about me?” Starlight said. A ball of red flame formed in the cradle of her new man-catcher.
And there was a sound that none of the trio heard; far away toward the mouth of the cave, barely audible over the sounds of rushing water and the hiss of the drones. It was something like a song.
The changeling’s eyes flashed green. A great hiss filled the chamber, and the army of dark, dripping shapes charged.





Meanwhile again, but several feet higher, the interior of the Hive buzzed with frantic activity. The drones moved with the frantic energy of low-income waitstaff as orders came down to initiate the next step of their Queen’s supreme will.
Floors were swept, thresholds cleared, and corners were dusted. The place smelled like the hustle and bustle of servants expecting a privileged guest.
Adagio Dazzle, who had snuck her way into the depths of the place with the utmost skill, caught a glimpse of a small team of drones polishing a grand chandelier.
“Strange behavior for an army…don’t they know they’re under attack?” Adagio murmured.
The addictive, spicy-sweet flavor of Buck's mana signature lead Adagio into the shadowy depths of the hive, each step bringing her closer to an inevitable confrontation.
Any second, she would find her prize again, and then she would…try and convince him to trust her.
Adagio scrambled behind a pillar before any passing drones could spot her. The thought of confronting Buck again made her legs feel like lead gelatin. She cursed under her breath.
Adagio could feel the bonfire of Buck’s heat as she slunk into the shadows of the hive. It warmed her, threatening to burn if she got too close. In her own heart, she could feel his love sparking up again, waiting for a chance to ignite. Power.
She could taste him on the tip of her tongue. Down, down, down she went, at first skulking with intentional slowness, then dashing as soon as the coast was clear.
“He’s close! Any minute…any second now, I’ll find him!” Adagio said. She just wasn’t sure what she’d say when she did. How much contact could she make without sparking up?
Minuette, that ghoul, had been immolated. Adagio could be next, and yet she needed him now more than ever.
She didn’t dare admit that she wanted him just as much.





A tide of changeling drones fell on Starlight, Buck, and Greg from all angles, some with melting faces, some with holes through their entire body, but all determined to follow their base directives. Swarm, Capture, Feed!
“How can there be so fucking many of these guys!?” Buck said, his hand on Starlight's back to fuel her spells.
“Look at them! They’re falling apart!” Starlight said.
Starlight’s polearm blasted mana bolts at the crowd, trying to blunt them so they wouldn’t kill, aiming for limbs to stumble them, but the drones kept coming. Another volley suddenly fizzled. “What the-you’re over there feeling bad for them, aren’t you!?”
“Who the fuck has this many kids and then doesn’t feed them!?” Buck said, tossing a gnashing, thrashing drone away.
"Feed!" Greg said, as three of four of his brethren knocked him around.
"Hey, leave 'em alone!" Buck shouted, taking the drone in his arms. The others hissed in frustration, trying to grab Buck’s arms and haul him to the ground. More and more of them buzzed into the fray from the cave mouth, their eyes glowing green with malice. “Man, there’s no end to these guys!”
Starlight was a whirlwind of cracking strikes and bursts of red. The drones tackling Buck were knocked away, each projectile wrapping them in sticky threads of mana. 
Buck understood just enough about magic to see that Starlight was adjusting, experimenting, even combining spells to keep her promise. He’d remember to be impressed when the adrenaline wore off.
“Just go! As long as you make it in there, I can come and save you!” Starlight yelped. A passing claw shredded the sleeve of her jacket, then another bit at her leg.
“But who’s gonna save you!?” Buck said. “I can’t just let you get killed out here!”
Buck scrambled to stand in front of Starlight, but while a squad of drones backed off, even more came from the rear, and still more drones poured in from the hole near the ceiling. One came in with a flying tackle, but Starlight’s staff snatched its neck, pinning it to the ground. 
“This is what I do!” Starlight said. “Just top me off and run! I’ll catch up; you just have to trust me!”
Buck saw a desperate determination in Starlight’s eyes, and for once, he understood it. Here was someone like him; someone who had faced a storm and lost a home. But unlike Buck, for whom life was a series of elaborate beatdowns, Starlight had spent every day since Our Town studying magic. She was determined to fight her way through, and he could see the fire in her eyes as she entered her element.
But Buck was still fearful of what would happen if he really poured it on. Starlight had nearly killed one of his best friends; was pretty cavalier about people’s lives in any case, and Buck had seen how loopy Adagio could get with just a bit of his care. Who knew what would happen to Starlight if Buck gave her the juice when she was this riled up? All of these thoughts stuck in Buck’s mind all at once, which is why when Starlight reached out to touch his hand, he hesitated for just a moment.
The drones took that moment, and the trio was crushed beneath a dogpile of slavering fangs and melting limbs. Buck struggled fruitlessly as he was dragged across the stony floor, reaching out, trying to grab his companions, until the fracas came to a sudden stop.
The drones’ heads turned up, their ears flicking like a dog’s toward the mouth of the cave, where a familiar figure stood, swaying a set of unforgettable hips.
From the top of the waterfall, Adagio sang. Wispy green tendrils snaked into the cavern, hazing up the eyes of all within earshot. 
A green cloud crossed Buck’s eyes, then a blink of red.
Where she got the juice to pull this off, Buck didn't know, but he shook his head as Adagio’s claws reached into his brain. It had only been hours, and he’d been giving her the cold shoulder, but he had to admit it, if only to himself.
He’d missed her.
Adagio sang a familiar melody, one Buck remembered from CHS. The drones released Buck, Starlight and Greg, swaying to the siren’s song. She stepped off the ledge, and the water hardened around her feet, lowering her slowly to the ground. Buck rubbed his eyes and squinted. At this distance, he couldn’t be sure, but he thought he saw a smile on Adagio’s face.
“Just give in.” Adagio said.
The changeling’s dull expression sharpened into a feral fury, and they fell upon each other, growling and screaming. Buck saw green blood splash onto the stone.
“Woah, woah, woah, wait, wait, WAIT!” Buck said, shouting over the din. He saw changelings biting into each other, and he saw Starlight and Greg swinging and striking into the crowd, their eyes filled with the same green light. “Babe, STOP! DON’T MAKE THEM DO THIS!”
“Stop!” Adagio said, and the fight ceased. The drones went back to their neutral stances, despite the bruises and cuts they’d gotten in the scrap. 
Buck helped Starlight and Greg to their feet. Starlight slapped her cheeks, shuddering as the spell broke.
“Holy shit, ‘dagio, don’t do that! None of these guys asked to be here; they’re just following orders!” Buck said.
“Orders.” Greg groaned, blinking out of the spell as Buck patted his back.
“That’s no excuse!” Starlight said, going back on the attack, her back to Adagio, Buck and Greg as she pointed her man-catcher suspiciously. “But that’s not important right now. Where’s Sunburst?”
“Captured, unfortunately. He sent me into the hive before getting caught.” Adagio said earnestly. Before she could even finish the sentence, Starlight was astride her polearm, flying toward the mouth of the cave.
“Where are you going?” Adagio said.
“Where do you think!? I’m getting Sunburst back!”
“Hold on, we shouldn’t split up again!” Buck said.
“It looks like a hotel! Just meet us in the lobby!” Starlight said, without a look back, and then, in a flash of red light, she zoomed off. Buck groaned and crossed his arms. 
“Man, someone oughta teach that girl how to be a team player,” Buck said.
Adagio stepped toward Buck but pulled her hand back as Greg jumped between them.
“Leave ‘em alone!” Greg hissed, showing his fangs.
“Naw, naw, naw she’s cool, Greg, she’s cool!”
“You’ve made friends with a changeling?” Adagio said.
“Yeah! This lil’ guy’s gonna take me into the hive.”
“No need. I know a back entrance we can take. Leave. Tell your Queen that you’ve found him, and to call off the search.” She said.
The changelings dispersed at once, leaving Gregor to look at Buck with confusion.
“Goan.” Buck said. “I’m alright.”
“Take us there!” Greg said.
“No.” Adagio said.
“It’s alright, buddy. I’m safe, now.” Buck said. “When we’re done here, we’ll figure out what to do with you and your family. You’re gonna be alright.”
“Greg’s alright.” Greg said, in Buck’s voice, then added “Don’t push your luck!” in Starlight’s. He took an uncertain glance at Adagio, then leaned against Buck like a nervous dog.
“Hey, hey, look! Go find the other loose humans in this place. Those’re my friends. You’ll be safe with them!” Buck said.
“Friends?”
“Yeah! Look for the orange one.”
“Orange?” Gregor’s shiny black carapace flashed green, then purple.
“Uh, try again. Like this one's hair.” Buck said, hooking a thumb at Adagio.
Greg’s expression scrunched, and the drone’s color spread into a vibrant orange hue.
“There you go! Find the guy that looks like that. You can trust him; he’ll look out for you, okay? He’s a friend!”
“Trust friend!” Greg nodded with determination, shifting back to the traditional dark finish. He raised a hand, an expression of solidarity he had learned from Starlight and Buck.
“Yeah, little guy. Up top!”
Their hands clapped, and a bit of pink sparked into Greg. Buck saw some of the holes in Greg’s limbs close up as the drone scuttled off into the darkness.
“Okay, well, that was somethin’...” Buck scratched his head.
A pair of soft, slender arms were thrown around Buck’s neck, squeezing with a desperate insistence. She was cold without Buck’s hoodie, and she sighed like she'd been waiting all day for this embrace.
“Okay, okay, not what I was expecting!” Without even thinking, Buck squeezed her back.
“You’re ragged! Who did this to you?” Adagio sniffled.
Buck blinked and touched his face, remembering the shiner Starlight had left. 
“Uhm, well uh…the uh…the trip through the caves was kinda rough. How’d you find me so fast?” Buck said.
“I can always find you, Buck…” Adagio sighed. Buck coughed, patted her back, and she let go, boldly taking Buck’s hand to lead him further in. “The hive is right through here.”
The two headed down a passage that got very narrow and very steep, eventually leading out into the slush-covered mountainside behind the hotel. A thick bank of snow created a mound that went up to the second floor.
“Okay…uh, how do we get in?”
“Really, Buck?” Adagio said, and with a gentle hum and a squeeze of the hand, a small tunnel opened in the snow pile. At the end of it was a small door with a sign carved into it marked: “Staff entrance.”
“Right. Magic, duh.” Buck said. 
Hastily stepping into the belly of the beast, Buck saw veins of strange black stone taking over the old floral wallpaper and moldering carpet. It looked like something out of The Shining, but lit by a pale green glow. It was bizarrely warm and stuffy; a monument of past opulence rotting from within.
“This place smells like a bus stop.” Buck said.
“There’s a place you can hide; where you’ll be safe. I might be able to help with your injuries.”
“Alright,” Buck said, squinting at her once more. “Can I order room service?”
“Still joking? You’re incorrigible.” Adagio laughed, opening a door. It was a swanky, surprisingly clean hotel room with a king-sized bed, brightly lit by a little hanging chandelier. Buck stopped short on the threshold, looking Adagio up and down.
“Sure, sure,” Buck said. “But I’ve got one more question.”
“And what’s that, Buck?” Adagio said, twirling a bit of her hair around a finger.
He could see her properly now. Spiky, high-heeled boots, a dark purple romper under a cropped, lavender-colored jacket with poofy sleeves. A golden, spiked belt with a garish yellow diamond on the front. It was both nostalgic and ridiculously outdated.
“Who the hell are you?”
Whatever was wearing Adagio's skin bit its lip and smiled.





Adagio coughed as she turned the handle of the door. Buck’s passion was faint; a little tingle of tabasco on the tip of Adagio’s tongue, but the faint syrupy sweetness of his love called to her even through the door. More than that, Adagio tasted anguish, and the kind of exhausted frustration that she dreaded to sense on him. And fear. There was a great deal of fear there, too. 
Whatever they had done to Buck in this wretched place, Adagio swore to herself she would return it all tenfold.
Before any guards could pass, Adagio slipped inside. 
The room was opulent and imperial; a high ceiling supported by white columns, a posh canopy bed, and a tall mirror ringed with eerie photographs. Many of them were of Adagio. Most of them were of Buck. 
Adagio’s eyes flashed red at the thought of that loathsome cockroach spying on Buck like some kind of sneak thief, trying to figure out how to exploit him.
“Ughhh…” Groaned a familiar voice.
Adagio’s heart skipped past the irony as she crossed the room. He was tied to a chair, his head down, his mulberry hair covering his face.
“Buck? Oh gods, Buck!” Adagio said. She fell to her knees to look at his face. He was paler than usual. A droopy golden eye fluttered open.
“...babe? Hey. You're a sight for sore eyes. Wha-wha happened to you? You’re all scratched up.” Buck groaned.
“Me!? You taste like the morning after a bender! How long have you been here? What has she done to you?”
In one swift motion, she slashed the ropes holding Buck down. All of her conflicted thoughts scattered to the wind.
“What didn't she do to me?” Buck said darkly. He wouldn’t meet Adagio’s eye.
“Buck. Look at me. What did she do?” Without even thinking, Adagio touched his cheek.
The cocktail of Buck's emotions bubbled up from the bottoms of Adagio's feet and up into her stomach. It made her feel a bit sick, but she found his love in the din, and somehow the distant threat of it centered her.
“Well, we had a lil’ dinner, did some flirting, you know, date stuff,” Buck said.
“What?” Adagio said.
“She had a lotta personal questions about me, reeeally tried to get me on her side. Wanted to know 'bout all my wants and needs. And fetishes.” Buck said, smirking.
Something was wrong. The aura Adagio tasted was like Buck’s love, but not quite the same. It was filled with a confused, dark taste. Her eyes widened as she realized it wasn’t coming from him; it was rising up from beneath the floor.
“But it didn’t work, so she had to tie me up! You wanna know why?” Adagio scrambled away as Buck stood. 
He was wearing a black tank top and jeans; just about the most common look she’d seen him in. He was not wearing his jean jacket or that wretched pink scarf. 
His eyes bled from gold to sunrise embers, and in the red heat haze rolling off his shoulders, Adagio could see horns and a pair of bat wings. His smile sharpened. So did his nails, and so did his flavor; it tasted like the fumes of a diesel engine.
“I was too hot to handle! I’m sssssmokin’!” Buck growled. His voice rumbled through Adagio’s chest, as absurd as it was menacing. The room warmed by several degrees.
Adagio’s rapier slid from its sheath, rattling slightly in her hand.  

////////

Starlight Glimmer soared up over the waterfall, into the valley and above the hive. It was mostly buried under a colossal pile of freshly fallen snow. The trees surrounding it bent under the new weight, disturbed forest creatures crawling through the slush on the ground.
She didn’t have any time to waste, and she still had enough juice to mount a half-decent offensive, but only if she was frugal. Sunburst was in there, alone in a cocoon, just waiting to be saved.
Starlight's sensing spell, now miraculously deciding to work properly, pointed toward one of the many chimney tops poking out of the snow on the roof. A few of them were piping steam into the air.
“What the hell is going on down there?” Starlight shrugged and landed, then pried the cap off a smokestack with a heave of her polearm. The sensing spell's beam pointed down into the darkness. “Sunburst, if you’re down there having a snack, I swear to god…”
Starlight held the staff to her chest and hopped into the flue like Mary Poppins, her arrival at the bottom announced with a puff of old soot as Buck’s aura cushioned the fall.
Starlight winced as she stepped out of the fireplace, her bad leg protesting every move with a dull pain. She’d done way too much hobbling around today, and she knew she was going to pay for it later as she peered around the room.
It was a smoking room bathed in heavy shadows. Starlight saw lavish couches stitched with intricate patterns. The walls were lined with heroic paintings of men whose mammoth egos could never quite be captured in photographs, glowing in the dim light of a single lamp. But all of that was in the background of Starlight’s view. Both her eyes and her spell's beaml focused on the person standing in the center of the room.
He was in the most typical outfit he’d ever worn; a white shirt and a pair of brown pants, and matching suspenders. A starry, teal cloak, ragged at the bottom, a few rips along its sides. A pair of big, thick glasses. A cracked lens.
He was holding a black leatherbound book in his hand. One that Starlight recognized.
“I knew you’d come!” Sunburst cheered.
Starlight’s man catcher thumped against the floor. Vicious spikes sprouted from the half-moon at its tip as she leveled it.
“You must think I’m fucking stupid.” Starlight said.
Sunburst’s face split with the loudest smile Starlight had ever seen.
“Why not? You walked right into danger all alone! As usual.” Sunburst said, brandishing a chunk of quartz.
A door crashed open, revealing a phalanx of charging changeling drones.
“As usual!” They repeated.





Buck stood square with crossed arms, mustering all the courage and control he could.
“Don’t be scared.” Adagio mewled. She made to reach out, and as Buck tensed, she put her hands down with a little pout. “How could you tell?”
“Well, for one, she ain’t worn that getup since CHS.” Buck said.
“You don’t like my outfit? I think there might be others in the wardrobe…maybe I should change?” Adagio said, tugging at the bust of her romper. Buck’s head jerked away, a sudden heat touching his cheeks. He just knew she'd be smirking at him.
“I-I didn’t say that! And, uh, you look different. A lil’ bit paler, sorta muted. I thought changelings were supposed to do a perfect mockup?”
“How rude! I’m not one of those pests!” Adagio pouted.
“You’re not?” Buck squinted.
“Do I look like I’m melting? Honestly, Buck, is it the lack of glasses, or are you just slow?”
“Well, you got her sass right. Not bad for a trick.” Buck smarmed.
“Oh, look who’s talking!” Adagio’s retort stung Buck like a cobra’s bite. She looked at his face, and her expression softened immediately.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that; that’s cruel!”
“...okay?”
“I…am not a cheap illusion; I’m a doppelganger! An ancient spell that changeling queens pass down to one another. A flawless copy, formed from your Adagio Dazzle’s own essence and the queen’s magic.” Adagio said with a little pose.
“You’re just like her? In every way?” Buck squinted, barely keeping his wandering eyes on a leash. Adagio leaned forward.
“In all the places that count, Buck.” Adagio smiled softly. “Except, I’m very different from her, as well.”
“How’s that? Are you made of sticks and twigs, like the changelings in the old folk tales?”
"...well, yes. But I'm also made of magic. If I run out, I'll melt to death like the rest of the fodder in this place."
"Yeah, well that's...that's fucking horrifying, holy shit."
“A doppelganger is a mirror image of the original. We have all their powers and weaknesses. Everything the original represses, we express. For example; a kind person becomes cruel.” Adagio said.
The drones coming at Starlight flashed, their dark, fenestrated forms suddenly replaced by copies of Sunburst. Starlight’s blood boiled as the Sunburst with the cracked lens laughed and ran through the door they came in through.
 “A repressed person becomes bold and wild.” Adagio said, taking a step closer.
The other Buck grinned lecherously; his eyes glowing red as he swaggered in Adagio’s direction. She could see his calf muscles tensing in his jeans, his shoulders flexing as he prepared to pounce.
“C’mere, babe. I wanna talk to ya, reeeal close.” He growled, and his hazy aura radiated through the air, soaking into Adagio’s skin like a hot wine bath.
She raised her blade.
“And a spiteful, manipulative ice queen becomes sugary sweet,” Adagio said. She reached out to touch Buck’s hand, but he took a step back. She looked genuinely sad.
“Well then…let me see about that bruise, hm?” Adagio said, stepping over to a somehow functional mini-fridge in the corner of the room. Buck looked away quickly as she bent down to collect some ice in a woven napkin. “Will you please relax? You’re making me nervous.”
Buck looked around, waiting for a changeling ambush to start any moment now, or for the ice to turn into spikes, or snakes, or some other magical bullshit.
“Buck…Buck! Will you look at me? I’m not trying to hurt you!”
“Then what are you tryna do?” Buck said, ducking his head around as Adagio tried to apply the ice. “The Queen had to make you for a reason, and I’m the prize, so this’s gotta be a trap.”
“Yes, Buck, obviously this is a trap. You’re in the changeling hive; Chrysalis already has what she wants. But she doesn’t want you hurt. In fact, she’d much rather you be in top shape when she comes to fetch you. Oh…oh, fine! If you don’t want me to do it, just take the ice pack!” Adagio said.
Buck took the wrapped ice and gingerly touched it to his eye. It was…totally normal ice, and just then, as the cold napkin soothed the aching bruise on his face, Buck realized he’d been in a mob fight, a cave-in, a bare-knuckle brawl, and a lengthy flashback sequence all in the same damn morning. The second he sat down, he wouldn’t want to get up again, and he knew it.
“There, you see? Nothing so nefarious as last time. You’re an honored guest.” Adagio said.
“An honored guest to fucking what?” Buck said, still on the defensive.
“That’s a secret.”
“Oh, fuck off!” Buck turned to leave the room.
“It is! Chrysalis forbade me from telling you!” Adagio grabbed his hand, saw how he cringed, and let go.
“Whatever, lady.”
“It’s the truth! Would I lie to you?”
“I mean, probably. ‘dagio would, yeah.”
“Well, she’s not here!” Adagio squeaked. Her gaze meekly dropped away.  “...I’m here. And I care about you. Just like she does.”
She was blushing. Her cheeks were rosy, her eyes shifting uneasily, just like when she and Buck had sat on the bench across from Sugar Cube Corner. He saw that odd, cute little smile, like when she’d gotten “love drunk” after their second date. She was holding onto his jacket sleeve.
“This’s obviously a honeypot, like…” Buck touched his temple and winced. “Like the first time. If you’re the Queen in disguise…”
“I’m not! I can prove it! Ask me anything Adagio would know!” Adagio said. Buck narrowed his eyes at her, either out of suspicion or his lack of glasses.
“Fine. What’s the nickname you came up with on game night?”
Adagio blinked for a moment, aghast. Then she grinned at Buck, giggling uncontrollably until it bloomed into a full-on belly laugh. Buck couldn’t help but smile.
“Of…of course you’d ask something like that!”
“Well? Do you remember that night, or no?”
“Of course I remember, Puppycakes! You were so impressive then, showing off your little game of make-believe! So confident and jocular! What fun!”
“Yeah, that last nat 20 was wild!” Buck chuckled.
“Oh, that wasn’t you.”
“Huh?”
“She fixed that roll. Remember the juice you bought? She used a bit of condensation from the bottle to spin the dice.” Adagio said.
Buck stared at her, eyes wide. He couldn’t decide whether to be insulted or impressed.
“Oops! That was supposed to be a secret.”
“...yeah. Adagio’s got a lotta those.”
“She’s forgotten more crimes than you could ever commit, Buck.”
“Alright, fuck this, I’m goin’.” Buck said, stepping out the door.
“Buck! Please, come back! I can tell you’re exhausted! Why don’t you just sit down for a second? I could help you relax!” Adagio called.
“I’m not hearin’ this! Too busy helpin’ my friends who are definitely in trouble right now!” Buck said.
The corridor filled with menacing hisses. Buck looked up and saw a small army of drones clinging to the ceiling. By his own understanding of magical arithmetic, he had precisely fuck-all ways of dealing with that.
“Shhhheeit. You uhh…you wouldn’t happen to know if they like spicy food or not, would ya?” Buck said.
“I haven’t got a clue, Buck. Why?” Adagio said.
“No reason.” Buck sighed. He had his own secrets, after all. “...I guess I’ll pop a squat for a lil’ bit.” 
Buck backtracked to the hotel room, his eyes on the floor. He hoped Greg was alright. He didn’t notice the vicious red-eyed glare Adagio made at the drones, a look so brutally protective, they all shuddered away.
“Is that all you wanted to ask me?” Adagio said, holding the door.
“Huh?”
“I know you have plenty of questions; you always do.” Adagio smiled. “Was that really all you wanted to know?”
“I…wow, uh, yeah, there’s a lot I’d like to know.”
“There’s a lot she has to answer for. Ask me anything, Buck. Anything she doesn't want you to know.” Adagio sat on the edge of the lavish king-sized bed, which took up most of the room. She patted the space next to her.
Buck’s mind was racing. In between blinks, he swore he could feel the temperature in the room rising. He took a breath, tried his very best to stay calm, but he could already feel the anxiety creeping up his back like kudzu on a wall. It would take him over if he let it.
But there was another nagging feeling in Buck, one that was even more urgent. 
Curiosity.
Buck sat on the bed. He knew he would regret this. He shut his eyes and smiled, chuckled.
“What?” Adagio said.
He wanted to drop some line about things changing and staying the same, but he was feeling nostalgic now, and he found a phrase that dropped out of him seconds after seeing Adagio for the first time.
“What’s the harm? Let’s talk.”





"C'mon babe, let's talk! What's the harm?"
Adagio lunged at Buck with a volley of vicious stabs, but not a single strike landed. Buck’s hands were in his pockets, a smile on his face as he effortlessly weaved through Adagio’s torrent of jabs. He kept dipping in, coming within arm’s reach, then sliding away. 
"I know you don't want to just talk! You reek of infidelity!"
"Hey, hey now, Ditzy ain't here. We both know what we both know. We're both thirsty fuckin' sex freaks! That's why you came runnin' when you caught my scent!" He laughed, radiating the casual menace of a jungle cat.
"Shut up! That's not what I came for!"
"Awww, so you really do like me for my personality!"
"Stop! Talking!"
“Hey, that’s a cool sword! What’s that? Is that a dolphin on there? Man, those buggers might look cute, but they’re evil lil' gremlins! Sorta like you, right babe?” Buck laughed, ducking under a swipe meant for his neck.
“What are you doing!?” Adagio said. “Stop dancing around!”
“Why not? You been dancin’ around me since we first met!” Buck laughed. Adagio’s sword lunged at his throat, but he spun on his heel, his hand coming around to her ass with a ringing slap. “Goddamn you got a fat ass! Mm!”
	“Shut up and fight me!” Adagio said. Every vicious stab was dodged with an effortless bob of the head, a flick of the wrist, or a sly smirk reflected on the blade’s side. She couldn’t hit him. Why couldn’t she hit him!?
“But damn, lookit'chu. The most beautiful woman in the world. You're hot as fuck when you're mad!” Buck said.
	“You can give up the charade! I know you’re not Buck! It was a nice try, but you’re far too confident to be him!” Adagio said. Her assailant pushed the blade away from his face, only for it to immediately flick back two or three times as he spoke.
“Hey, you gotta fake it til’ you make it; that’s what my Ma always says! You know all ‘bout that, right? You been fakin’ your feelin’s for me this whole time!”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about!” Adagio barked, slashing as she backed away. She could feel the handprint on her ass warming up as she tried to collect her thoughts. If his passion interacted with the…the love she was still carrying, she might just burst into flames.
“And there’s the swerve! Classic ‘dagio! Poor ol’ Buck, tryna meetcha in the middle, and you just dance away! Until ya get hungry; then you’re all over me! You really are just another mean girl!” Buck laughed.
“Shut your mouth!” Adagio shrieked.
A red line tore across Buck’s chest. He stopped, touching the wound with a hand that trembled at the sight of his own blood. Buck locked eyes with Adagio, heartbroken.
“Babe?” Buck whimpered.
“No! No, no, no, Buck, I didn’t mean that, I didn’t mean to hurt you!” Adagio said. She reached out without thinking, and suddenly Buck gripped her wrist in a sparking pink vice. He smiled, and Adagio saw his teeth lengthening. Sharpening. A small voice in her head beneath the rising panic told her to bare her neck.
“Finally, somethin’ real!” Buck laughed. Adagio tried to pull away, but her back found the wall.
“Let go of me!” Adagio said. She tried to strike, but Buck pinned her sword hand.
“That ain’t what you want. I get it, you know? I’m a professional. You gotta stroke their ego, work ‘em up, act like you’re fallin’ apart, but really you’re thinkin’ about what to have for lunch tomorrow. Problem is, sometimes you get in a lil’ too deep. Sometimes you start to feel it…” Buck said.
Adagio’s protests died in her throat. She denied it with every screaming, feral instinct she had, but her heart was hammering faster by the second. He knew. He knew, and he still wanted her. He knew, and still, he loved her.
“...you’re not him!” Adagio said.
Adagio felt a familiar heat lighting her heart with pink sparks, igniting every part of her with a hot wet yearning. Gods, but she needed him.
“But I am! I’m all the parts of him you actually want! Now c'mere…” Buck said.
Adagio saw a sunset in his eyes. He was so close now, and she was so thirsty.
Once again, Adagio Dazzle was overlooking a cliff; a blazing caldera of lust, waiting to burn her alive, all in the dwindling space between her and Buck’s lips.
“Every time we touch, there’s sparks…” Buck growled. “We could burn this whole fuckin’ place down, babe…”
Adagio sighed dreamily, raised a foot over the cliff…then slammed her knee into Buck’s crotch.
“FUCK! FUCKETY-FUCK-FUCK-FUCK!” Buck fell to his knees.
Adagio ran for the door.



	
Meanwhile, on the other side of the building, a burst of red light sent Sunburst crashing against the wall of the smoking room. It slid to the floor, transforming back into a drone.
“Get off me! GET OFF ME!” Starlight screamed.
Starlight’s man-catcher caught another Sunburst by the neck and slammed him into the floor. A tether of red magic collared him to the ground.
Five more, she thought. No! Six! Starlight smacked another Sunburst away, trying her hardest not to cry as she got on her man-catcher to give chase. The leader was casually strolling down the hallway, flipping through that dark bound book, pausing to smirk and wave at Starlight.
"Do you remember what this is?" Sunburst said.
“Give me that!” Starlight shouted. A beam of red heat screamed at Sunburst, but he dodged the shot with a sudden lurch through the air.
“It’s Stygian's Spellbook! It’s full of spells; secret spells based on the kinds of heroes that you could never hope to match!” Sunburst laughed.
A red jet of flame scorched the spot where the doppelganger’s head had been. Starlight frowned behind her smoking hand. He’d changed directions at the last second, shimmering in a field of yellow sunlight.
The mob of drones, or was it clones, caught up and formed a line in front of Sunburst, smiling in the same way he did when he pulled ice cream from the freezer. That smile gave Starlight pause, just for a moment.
“I know you’re not the real Sunburst! He doesn’t know how to levitate!” Sunburst smirked. It was just a cheap changeling trick, and she knew better than to let it get to her.
“Doesn’t know-doesn’t know how!? He knows every spell you know! He even knows a few you don’t! He just can’t practice because you’re always hogging the components!” Sunburst said.
“Where’s the real Sunburst?” Starlight snarled. Her eyes flashed red. She pointed her anger backward, the back end of her man-catcher glowing like a poker; waiting for an opportunity. 
“It’s a secret!” Sunburst chuckled, thumbing through the pages without looking up. “He’s got a few of those, you know! Knowledge can be a dangerous thing…aren’t you curious about what your pwecious boyfwiend is hiding from you? Did you know, for instance, that he's been reading other equestrian literature behind your back?”
“Give me that!” Starlight roared. She rocketed into the air in a red glare, coming down with her polearm to smash the impostor’s head, but the strike rebounded off something bright and steely. The drones were wielding shields now; wedges of see-through bronze with notches on the sides for catching weapons.
Starlight bounced back, firing off a bursting blaze of Buck’s passion, but it did nothing.
“Flash’s Phantom Netitus. Don’t bother blasting; they’re heat proof!” Sunburst said.
“Don’t bother blasting!” The drones laughed in unison.
“Tell me where Sunburst is!” Starlight snarled. She was panting for breath, burning up inside.
“Maybe I’ll tell you, if you can catch me!” The doppelganger laughed and zoomed down the hall, leaving the drones to block the way.
Starlight shook with rage. 
She was already running low on mana. Her bad leg was aching, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to win a war of attrition here. She'd have to end this quickly, but she couldn't bear the thought of what that meant. She could feel hot tears tracing down the sides of her face, sizzling into steam in Buck’s aura. 
"Catch me!” The shield-bearing drones mocked Starlight with her beloved’s voice, marching at her in a line.
“Don’t lose control…don’t lose control!” Starlight said. 





Scootaloo was many things. She was a state-class sprinter, an ace at ping-pong, and somehow, just recently, a pretty okay defender of Canterlot.
At the moment, the thing Scootaloo was, more than anything, was terrified. She’d fought these things, sure. She’d been to a hive, and she fought the Queen! But she had her friends, then, and they had useful things like magic and plans and Scootaloo had barely either of those things. She was armed with her usual flip-out pocket knife, her old scooter, and basically nothing else. She could practically feel the stress acne rising on her back.
“Okay, okay, okay! Major creep factor here! Don’t know where I am, don’t know what I’m doing! Kinda just went with it!”
Scootaloo had been looking for Ditzy at the clinic when she noticed Silver Spoon walking around the back. She wanted to go say hi and also sorry for thinking she was spreading rumors, but Silver Spoon ducked into an alley and then things started happening very fast. Scootaloo saw a magic portal open, and against all warnings, permission and common sense, she’d jumped in when she was sure no one was looking.
Scootaloo’s mind was reeling at the deluge of new information. She had seen the changeling queen in a skimpy nightgown-looking thing, giving orders to Silver Spoon and Sunburst. Silver Spoon turned into a regular changeling, sure, but Sunburst…had just sort of walked off, and now Scootaloo ducked down again as a small army of drones buzzed up the stairs on either side of her to a pair of open double doors at the top.
She could hear that thing using Silver Spoon’s voice through those doors.
“Make sure you dust everything in here! Use the buddy system; one rag for the surfaces and another for the slime you leave behind! The Queen wants this place spotless!”
“The heckie is even happening in this place!?” Scootaloo said in a trembling breath. Her whole body was shaking; she couldn’t manage a single step. “Where is everybody? Was that really Sunburst? Why am I sitting around talking to myself, I need to do something!”
What Scootaloo could manage was shutting her eyes, pulling her knees up to her chest. She managed to get one up there; the cast made it hard to do both. 
Somewhere down a hall, she heard a door slam. In the polar opposite direction, she thought she heard shouts.
“C’mon Scoots, think! Everyone is counting on you! What would-” Scootaloo paused. She had almost said Rainbow Dash. “W-What would Chillwing do? She would, like, she would…”
Scoots loved playing Chillwing because she was fast and cool and totally not just a pallet swap of Rainbow Dash but a batpony. Best of all, Chillwing was simple. She could leave the frontline stuff to Hillbreaker, and the creative stuff to Dangle, and the smarty-smartpants stuff to Tidy. Chillwing had three jobs; scout stuff, stab stuff, and grab stuff; in that order. Scoots could do that, right?
“I can…I can do this, I can…too many questions. I just need to scout around. Rogue stuff!” Scootaloo said, pulling the knife from her sports bra.
“Rogue stuff?”
“Exactly. Rogue stuff. I just gotta sneak around, and…” Scootaloo trailed off. She looked to her left and was met with a pair of pale blue compound eyes, a shiny black carapace, and a curious tilt of the head.
"Wh-whoah, woah! Don't come any closer!" Scootaloo fell backward, her hand the only thing holding back the screams rattling around in her throat. She held her knife out.
Gregor the changeling cringed away, hissing, his wings fluttering. For a moment, neither made an aggressive move. Gregor scanned Scootaloo's form curiously.
“Orange?”
“Wh-wh-what!?”
“Orange?” Greg shifted to orange, pointing to the curving black horn as it turned the same purple as Scootaloo’s hair, nodding as if this explained everything.
“Uhhh…? Y-yeah. We’re the same.” Scootaloo said.
Greg nodded excitedly. Scootaloo looked around and still saw drones ascending the stairs. Nowhere to run. She squeezed the handle of her knife.
“Friend?”
“Heh?”
“Friend? You? Orange! Buck, friend?”
“Uhh…uh, uh, uh, yeah! Buck! You know Buck?”
“Buck! Friend!” 
Greg suddenly shifted to a perfect replica of Buck. Perfect, except for the part where he was still orange. Scootaloo blushed at the closeness. 
“Look for the orange one. You can trust him; he’ll look out for you, okay? He’s a friend!” Greg said, in Buck’s voice.
“Him? I’m not a guy!” Scootaloo huffed. Greg shifted back to normal.
“Not? Guy?”
“I’m a girl!”
“Guy? Girl?”
“...I’m not a ‘Him’, okay!?” Scootaloo shouted, then covered her mouth. A couple of drones looked toward the welcome desk, but didn’t see the pair hiding under it.
“Okay…” Greg said, shrinking away.
“...sorry.”
“Okay. Friend?” Greg held up a hand, searching sheepishly for a high-five. Scootaloo dapped him, and felt a bit of warmth.
“Huh. What’s your name?” Scootaloo said.
“Gregor! Greg! Friend!”
“My name’s Scootaloo, but Buck and Sunburst call me Scoots!”
“Scoots! Friend!”
“Sure, sure! You think you could help me out, Greg?”
“Trust! Friend!” Greg nodded.
“We're in the uh, the Hive right now, right?”
“Hive! Right”
“Okay…do you know where they’re keeping everybody?”
“P…Pantry!”
“Okay! Let’s go to the pantry! More friends!”
“Friends!” Greg cheered.
If we could peek into the mind of the average changeling, past the ravenous hunger and just beyond the language barrier, we might glean a bit of insight into their inner workings.
It was a strange sight for the drones to see a human walking around without restraints, certainly. A human being led by their fellow changeling, who was practically bouncing with excitement was even stranger, but then again, they were all workers, weren’t they? All taught the simple set of guidelines that made a changeling a changeling; always be hunting, be it for a meal or a task, follow the queen’s orders without fail, and stay out of the way unless directed. And so, a changeling might reason that a human off a leash was simply a meal that was pre-broken, and that happy drone must be very good to have captured it so fresh.
They did not consider the remote possibility that this was a clever ruse set in motion by forces outside their immediate understanding; like camaraderie, empathy, or love. Those things were food, and so was that human. Maybe if they all worked a little harder, they’d get a morsel of it as a treat.
They hoped that drone didn’t secret it away to eat it alone; the darkest temptation of every upstanding changeling.
After all, if you couldn’t trust a fellow drone, who could you trust? 





Buck was confronted with his most dangerous enemy yet; this extremely comfy bed. He didn’t know what the fuck it was made of or what it was stuffed with, but he felt a desperate need in the idea of somehow strapping it to the top of Sunburst’s jeep and bringing it home.
It was that comfy. Buck had sat on the edge for a few seconds, then his body moved on its own, stretching out, awkwardly scuttling back to the headboard to let his head rest on a plush pillow.
There was something deeply satisfying about laying in a cozy bed when he was covered in sweat and grime from the tunnels. It felt wrong, and deeply necessary. He longed for a hot shower, but all of that stuff was secondary. He had so many pressing questions, and if he was going to be stuck in this hotel room, he was going to have them answered. He just needed to be careful.
“What do I call you?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, what do I call you? You’re not Adagio Dazzle.”
“I am. I’m everything she prefers to lock away, all of the-”
“No, no, that’s not what I mean! Look, I get it, the whole schtick, but I’m tellin’ you right now that this is confusing as all hell, especially for the reader. You’re obviously not the same person that I’ve been gettin’ to know for almost half a year, so what should I call you?”
“No one has called me anything, yet. The Queen simply created me and gave orders.” The clone sighed.
“What were those orders?”
“Bring Purple Prose to the hive, and don’t let him out of my sight. Encourage him to take a shower; he’ll be filthy.” Adagio said.
Buck lifted an arm and recoiled. He certainly smelled like a couple of fight scenes.
“Do the showers work here?” Buck said.
“Yes. She expected you to ask that. She spared no expense in kidnapping the right people and applying the proper skillsets to get the water running in the hive. Something about an old reservoir, plumbers, electricians, those sort of logistics.”
“That’s impressive. Lady knows her priorities.”
“Ugh, can we not talk about her?”
“Isn’t she your boss?”
“She’s my creator.”
“What’s the difference?”
“To have a boss, you have to agree to work.”
“And you don’t want to?”
“What I want and what she wants, right now, are the same.”
“...Which is?”
“Making sure you’re safe and comfortable.
“So I could be showering right now.”
“You could, yes. And...If you’d like, I can wash your back.”
There was a moment of intense, red silence. Buck felt a bit of pressure on his forehead. He was terrified to look in a mirror and find a horn.
“I’m joking. I know you’re squeamish. You ran the first time you saw Adagio Dazzle in the bath.”
“That was different!” Buck balked. “I didn’t know that she was-well, I mean, I thought she was going to-that is, uh…honestly? Sharing a shower sounds nice.”
“Ooh~?”
“Nope, no, I didn’t mean that.”
“Oh my, Buck!”
“You didn’t hear that!”
“My lips are sealed.”
“Really. Just like that?”
“Naturally.”
“And you’re not going to hold that against me?”
“Of course not! I know you’re sensitive about these things.”
“Wow.”
“What?”
“I don’t know, Adagio would jab me about it. Or use it to try and get on my dick.”
“And that’s hurtful to you, isn’t it?”
“I…fuck. Fuck this is weird! Fuck! What do I call you? Give me something!” 
“...if you insist. Why don’t you call me…Nice Adagio?”
“You wanna be called that.” It was a question, but it came out with such incredulity, a floating red boom mic appeared over Buck’s head as he looked at the audience.
“Unless you want to call me Babe. Or Princess~?”
“Uhhh…woah, I thought that was like a sex thing?”
“Of course it is, in part. I like it.”
“Does Adagio actually want me to call her Princess? Like, not as a kink thing?”
“Is that your first actual question?”
“Sure?”
“Yes. She’s secretly always wanted someone to hold her hand and kiss her cheek and call her cute little pet names. It’s a deep shame of hers.”
“I’m glad I’m laying down for this.”
“Princess also happens to be a title that denotes great power. A princess is a ruling authority. A Princess wields a magical potency that defines the character of her kingdom. The title of Princess makes Adagio Dazzle feel powerful, trusted, and desired, as if you’ve built her a throne in your heart.”
She spoke like she was reading a scandalous love letter, her hands going up to touch her red cheeks. It was adorably earnest, which is why it was so hard for Buck to swallow the laughter threatening to explode out of his mouth.
“...that’s…not what I was going for,” Buck said.
“Is that so? What were you going for, Buck?”
“It was kind of an accident? Me and Smolder used to-naw, no, I think I like that version better. Wow. Think I’m gonna stick with Nice Adagio. There’s less baggage.”
“No.”
“No?”
“I've changed my mind. Try again.”
“Okay, uh…man this is weird! Why is naming characters always so fucking hard? Uh…I got it! How about Heart Song?” Buck said.
“Hm…that’s one of her pseudonyms.”
“It’s the name Adagio met me under. I knew her as Heart Song, first.” Buck said. The clone looked at him and blushed.
“I remember. That is…yes. Yes, Heart Song will do!”
Buck saw Heart Song quiver with glee. He’d never seen his Adagio do that, and for a second, he desperately wanted to. She quickly regained her composure, returning to a semblance of Adagio’s direct efficiency.
“That name is fine with me. Please take a shower. You’ll find a black tank top and jeans in your size on the counter.” Heart Song said.
“That’s…wow. Okay, sure. Quick one.” Buck, with a great deal of effort and one or two Dad noises, rolled off the bed, placing his jacket and scarf on the suite’s hat rack before stopping with his hand on the bathroom door. “Don’t follow me.”
Heart Song paused mid-stride with a little squeak, looked flustered, and nodded.
Buck was struck with the oddest sense of deja vu. He’d never been good at recognizing his own feelings, but the sort of calming butterfly kisses he felt in his stomach were familiar.
It made him miss Ditzy so badly it stung.
The bathroom door closed and locked with a little click. It was a quick shower, no longer than a whistled song, as Buck scrubbed himself frantically with some soap that had definitely been stolen from a corner store, but it was long enough that Buck didn’t notice what Heart Song did next.
As soon as she heard the water running, she crept to the rack, took the jean jacket in her hands and took a series of deep, long sniffs at the inside.
Then she grabbed the pink scarf with a grimace and threw it to the floor.
Suddenly, the bathroom door clicked open, pulling a flinch out of Heart Song.
“Hey, uh…could you do me a favor?” Buck said, wrapped in a towel.
“Anything.” Heart Song said with a smile.





Adagio’s lips were on fire, like she’d bitten into a raw pepper. Other parts felt like they were on fire, but she was doing her best to ignore them. She started down the shadowy green hallway at a sprint, but a sudden bit of vertigo tossed her at the wall. Every little movement of her head felt like it was in slow motion. Her eyes darted around like dragonflies over a pond.
She was already drunk.
“If a tiny bit of intimacy does this to me, there’s no telling what will happen if I let him…” Adagio said.
If you let him do what, exactly? 
Adagio slapped her own cheeks, trying to stay focused. Her brain was filling with smoke as it tried to form a strategy. This wasn’t right. She’d spent time acclimating to Buck’s aura, and yet she was set ablaze earlier, and now this. Now it was passion; this strange clone was a walking powder keg of passion.
Baaaabe…? Where ya at, babe? I’m not mad; I just wanna talk!” His echoing voice reached around the corner to nibble at her ear. There was a thumping beat accompanying him. A blazing, synthetic beat and whining strings.
https://soundcloud.com/user-172575235/hellbent-mean-buck-cover
Adagio tried to shake the fireflies buzzing in her skull, tried to banish the sight of Buck’s grin when she’d kissed him on the aquarium wall, his burning, triumphant smile as he reached into his silly little notebook at game night, or the stagelight in his golden eyes as he serenaded her at karaoke. 
Adagio missed him furiously, but if she flared with even a hint of his love, it would be the stray spark that lit the whole ship ablaze.
“Don’t be scared, Princess. All I wanna do is spoil you~ C'mon...let's get cozy, huh?”
His presence pierced the green gloom of the hallway. Adagio saw a glimpse of the hanging green sacks shift to red as Buck’s aura rippled across them. A single curved horn rose from his temple. 
This was not the spicy, sweet, sassy marshmallow of a man that Adagio had courted. This growling voice, these greedy, grasping hands, these blazing eyes; Adagio had only seen them in piecemeal and only when the two were truly alone. 
As his heat crept down the corridor, Adagio could feel him craving her. From nowhere and all around, Adagio heard Buck’s voice crooning at her, mocking her, calling her.
“I've been Hellbent babe,
Hellbent on lovin' you all day long.
Hellbent on drugs 'cause they turned you on,
Don't know what else to do. Mmmm!"
Buck sang as he strolled toward her like a slasher villain. Adagio broke into a full run, despite her wobbly head. It was furious, ridiculous, and even sloppy; Buck's voice duplicated into a ghoulish quartet.
"I've been Hellbent babe,
Hellbent on makin' you love me too!
Even though it's not what I'm supposed to do,
I don't give a damn. Mmmm!"
He was down the hall and at Adagio's heels. He was glowing all around her like candlelight, and he burned in her chest like a roman candle. Every step closer sent power crackling through the air, beckoning Adagio to throw herself at him and feast.
“Think, now! Think, think, think!” Adagio stammered. He was playing with his food, and she could take advantage of that; all she had to do was get away from him as fast as she could, get out of the range of his aura, and regroup.
"No use runnin', Princess! You know there ain't a lick of quit in me! I'll burn this whole place down before I turn you loose!"
Adagio looked back just in time to see a pink fireball exploding down the hallway toward her. Adagio skirted around a corner, just fast enough for the blast to only singe the edge of her hair. The hallway ahead was devastated; the carpet scorched with flickering red flames.
"Calm! Stay calm, Adagio Dazzle!" She stammered, trying to catch her heartbeat, but he was coming closer again, and she could feel his heat licking up her legs, not bothering to ask for entry. "There has to be a way out of this!"
A random hole opening in the wall answered her hope. She dove into the darkness just as the hole closed.
“Baaaabe...” Buck’s voice carried ominously, ridiculously away.
Adagio’s magenta eyes darted here and there in the dark space. She fumbled against the walls, swore as she struck her knee on something, then with a low click, found herself blinking at her reflection in a wide bathroom mirror.
Adagio squeaked with fright, bewildered at her disheveled state. Her hair was a mess, her lipstick was smudged, and little red hearts had taken the place of her pupils. She stroked her collarbone, right where her amulet used to be, counting up, trying to slow her breathing until she broke into a nervous giggle.
“Heh. Heheheheh! What in the world happened to my life? How did I get here!?” Adagio chuckled, almost hysterically.
“I know, right?” Buck said, pushing open the shower curtain. “How the turn tables!”
“GAAAAH!” Adagio kicked the door open and ran for her life. How did he find her? Was he learning to detect her aura? Did he teleport? Were his powers developing, even now!? She tried to remember what little she had learned about chaos sorcerers in school.
“What happens in that quadrant? They…they don’t record spells, they just cast off the cuff…they, they, they…come on, Adagio, think! And they’re hard to control, even with magic. They tend to go mad with what’s it called, fourth-dimensional insights? What does that even mean!? Oh, why couldn’t he just be a sweet little pegasus? They’re so easy!” Adagio whined as she scrambled.
“Tell me about it! I don’t think I’ve ever played a normal-ass pony in any game! I think I’ve gotta taste for more, uh, exotic types. Who’da thunk, right? Woof!” Buck barked, keeping up with Adagio at a casual jog. His passion seared into her skin like a bad sunburn.
“GO AWAY!” Adagio screamed and tripped him mid-stride. Sparks of red and pink crackled off her as she ran.
“Yeah, you say that but-” Buck’s retort cut off as Adagio tripped through another hole in the wall, nearly losing her foot as it shut. She scrambled around a corner into a lobby that was now empty, leaning against the wall, trying to catch her ragged breaths.
“Stop, stop, stop…!” Adagio whimpered, clutching her head. “It’s just mana! It’s not special just because it’s…I just need to vent it before I get any drunker!”
“Baaaabe…? Baaaaabe…! Where are yooooou…?” Buck’s voice echoed ominously, sweetly from down the hall.
For not the first time, Adagio wished she had learned how to shoot lasers in school, but her searing hatred for the bigoted, uppity unicorn student body prevented her from stooping to their level.
Adagio silently wished that upstart Starlight Glimmer was here. She solves everything with lasers; Adagio could just shunt this mana off on her! But no, just like with everything else, Adagio had to be a big girl and figure this out on her own. A part of her heart had shattered when she struck him. That wasn’t normal, that was…she would have to table that feeling for now, think, think, think!
“There has to be something I can…of course. What’s wrong with me?” Adagio Dazzle wiped the sweat from her brow and squared her shoulders. “He’s just a man. All I need is a bit of finesse and a little tune…”
Adagio stepped into the threshold like an open stage. Buck…whatever this thing was, strolled toward her with open arms, a demonic mirage rolling off his shoulders.
Adagio, with great effort, locked eyes with him, and began to sing. She could tame him quickly, with all this power. All she needed was for him to slow down and move to the beat of her drum.
“Blind-sided by the beat,
Clapping your hands, stomping your feet,
You didn’t know that you fell!”
It was odd at first without proper backup, but Adagio’s hips swayed like a hypnotic pendulum, the red aura around her form sashaying into glittering green seduction. The other Buck stopped and swayed, the tendrils of Adagio’s will caressing his form.
“Now you’ve fallen under our spell~” Adagio sang.
“We’ve got the music; makes you move it, 
got that song that makes you lose it!
We say jump; you say how high?
Put your hands up to the sky!” Buck sang right back, his lilting baritone harmonizing effortlessly with Adagio’s mezzo soprano. The tendrils of force lit like candle wicks, burning red in Adagio's direction.
Adagio tried to beat his volume, but her efforts only amplified the intensity of the clash. Green and red sparks danced in the air. As the chorus hit, both Adagio and Buck were blown off their feet by a cacophonous cymbal crash. The hall flashed red. The hotel shook.
“Woah! Woah-ho-ho! The fuck was that!? Didn’t know I could do that! Hey, we make a great duet; we gotta do some mo’ karaoke sometime, right babe? Babe?” The strange clone said, looking around.
“I AM NOT HAVING THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU!” Adagio squealed as she sprinted across the lobby.
“Don’t’cha think that’s kinda the problem?” Buck said.





Buck; that is to say, the real Buck, sneezed. From his prone position on the bed, it was a bit hard to catch with his arm. He’d lost focus there for a second; his eyes drooping on the edge of a nap. The last few minutes seemed like a dream.
“Oh no, did you catch a cold out there in the snow?” Princess Adagio said, her hands gliding gently along Buck’s length.
“I’on’t think that’s a real thing? I might be comin’ down with somethin’ else, though.” Buck said.
“What’s that?” Princess Adagio said, tracing him with her fingertips.
“Anime tropes,” Buck said, rolling his neck. “Huhohhhh man, can you go a little harder?”
“Whatever you want, Buck~!” Heart Song said in a sing-songy voice.
Buck was currently being straddled, but not in the same way as his first night with Adagio. Heart Song was dragging her long, sharp nails along his back, petting him up like a scratching post, and for Buck, this was total bliss.
She was humming a gentle tune. Buck expected that twinkling green magic to slip into his ears and color the edges of his sight, but it simply didn’t happen. Instead, a light chill tingled through his skin, like the coolest part of a swimming pool.
Against his better wishes, a corner of Buck’s brain was doing a quiet, cruel calculation. If this version of Adagio was as sweet and eager to please as Ditzy Doo, but still kept her relentless sex drive…
“Fuuuuck that’s good! Why didn’t I ever ask ‘dagio to do me like this? She’s got the perfect nails for it…” Buck groaned as Heart Song diligently scratched his back.
“Oh, she’s a hard one to make requests of. I don’t blame you.” Heart Song said, scritching relentlessly.
“And what’s the song about?”
“Just a spell from the old country. The hippocampus sang it to each other as a lullaby. It soothes the mind, and if I’m performing it correctly, it may also soothe your bruises and cuts.”
She was right; Buck touched his eye and could feel the swell going down, the aches in his tired limbs calming, the red, irritating scratches relaxing.
“I didn’t know Adagio had healing magic.” Buck said.
“She doesn’t, exactly. Healing is an very complex spellform that’s very easy to mess up. But, after a lifetime spent in the company of an expert…you pick up at least some of the theory. This is about the extent of healing Adagio could muster. A bit of a stark comparison to the harm she causes, no?” Heart Song said.
“So you’re testing a new spell on me right now?” Buck said.
“Adapt or die, Buck. You’re hurt, and Sonata isn’t here, so we'll just have to make do.”
“Say, is Sonata a real doctor?”
“She has three doctorates in three different countries, though by now they’re all so old she can’t display them anymore.”
“What were they?”
“Let me think…she has a PhD in Surgery, another in Culinary Arts, and a third in…”
“Music Theory?”
“...Child Psychology.”
“That was my second guess!” Buck chuckled. “Why no music degree?
“She doesn’t need a music degree; composition is my…Adagio’s job. Sonata, on the other hand, is a veritable polymath when it comes to instruments, especially the ones with strings. She always loved having human fingers.”
“Yeah, that’s fair. Those little wigglers can do wonders…mmm! Right there!” Buck’s ramble was cut off by Heart Song dragging her nails to the spot right behind Buck’s left shoulder. He could never reach that spot!
"She'd like you."
"You think so?"
"Absolutely. Sonata would find you captivating; she loves sweet boys like you."
"Thanks? You know, I met Aria once, while you guys were at CHS?"
"Is that so? What did you think of her?"
"I think my shin still aches from time to time. Don't think she liked me very much."
"Don't take it personally; Aria doesn't like anyone."
Buck was flabbergasted at how easy it was to relax and have a nice chat with this doppelganger. These were the sorts of conversations he'd have with Adagio between magic training sessions, and he desperately missed them.
“Okay, I’ve got one; what did Adagio's aura look like before the amulets?”
The heavenly scratching slowed.
“Well…it’s funny, it’s been so long, I can’t quite remember.”
“So that green stuff isn’t it?”
“No, no, that was the amulets, at first, but now it’s…just the way it manifests when she pulls mana from others. Except when she draws it from you.”
“Yeah?”
“Your mana is so potent, it keeps its color, even when used by others.”
“I guess you are what you eat?”
“You could say that. Magic has a way of changing, like…” Heart Song trailed off.
“Like people?” Buck said.
“People don’t change, Buck.”
“Naw, they grow.”
“You’re still on that, are you?”
Buck tapped Heart Song’s leg, and she climbed off his back, letting him sit up. Without needing to be asked, her hands went to Buck’s shoulders, massaging gently.
“I’m not on nothin’. That’s just the truth. People change in a buncha teeny tiny ways, and before you know it, they’re completely different from what you might’a thought. I guess magic is the same way.”
“Oh, you’re so sentimental!”
“Yeah? You wanna fight about it?” Buck chuckled.
“No! It’s…refreshing. It’s challenging.”
“Does Adagio like a challenge?”
“She likes to play games...and she likes to win.” Heart Song said. “She has a simple philosophy when it comes to relationships; there is the lover and the loved. The user and the used. In her mind, being the user is the only way to win. It’s a strong strategy. And a cruel one.” There was the slightest hint of a smile in her voice.
Buck’s shoulders sagged.
“Do you regret it?” Heart Song said.
“What?”
“Playing her game.”
“When did I start?” Buck chuckled. “I was never all that good at coloring in the lines.”
“Perhaps that’s why you walk through her walls like they aren’t even there.” Heart Song sighed, stroking Buck’s arm.
"Okay, uh...man, this is embarrassing. Does Adagio, you know..."
"What?"
"Does Adagio actually like me? I mean as a person. Does she like me, or was she lying about that?"
"What a silly question! Of course she likes you!"
Heart Song giggled, but her bemused expression wavered when she saw the grave one on Buck's face.
"You don't believe me, do you?" Heart Song says.
Buck was glad he wasn't near a mirror, because he knew that he was making the most pitiful face imaginable as he turned his head away. Heart Song touched his cheek and gently made him look at her.
"Adagio Dazzle has always wanted power and recognition. Without her sisters, she has neither, and she'll do anything to return to her glory days. You have power; she covets it, and that's the truth.
"Not gonna lie, that's not the answer I was hopin' for."
"Let me finish. Adagio Dazzle wants power. She needs it to survive, but she has very discerning tastes. She doesn't absorb power; she consumes and metabolizes it. And she has been settling for the mediocre stock of this world for far too long. She has to keep watch for any humans with stores of mana; they are always people with strong convictions and strength of character.
"And then she met me, and she saw power?"
"Not immediately. She couldn't taste you at first; you were too far away, and you were withdrawn. But then you started talking, and you made her laugh. You met her pithy little attempts at manipulation with a strange wit, and you humored her every step of the way. And when she brought you to her suite, you overwhelmed her with your...finer qualities. You flooded her with power."
"It all comes back to my magic."
"No, Buck! She saw you across the room and decided then and there that she wanted you! Doesn't that tell you something?"
"Oh. Oh." Buck blinked. 
"And she is spellbound in her fascination over you. She thinks you're a sleeping King; a power that could define an era, if only someone would take the time to teach you how to wield it."
Heart Song had begun speaking slowly, but Buck could see excitement flash in her eyes as she spilled this hot gossip.
"Well, that's, uh-"
"Adagio Dazzle wants your power, that much is true, but she is frustrated because she knows that what she really wants is you. She desperately wants to bask in the light you shine with your eyes, but she is terrified of your intense heat. As if the lightest touch from you will set her ablaze. She wants to elevate you, but she fears your power outstripping hers. She wants you to want her, but she is terrified of being known by you. She desires you; more than she's ever desired anything! But she's a toxic coward, and she will drain you for all you're worth because that is the only thing she knows how to do."
Fancies floated around Buck's head as his thoughts zipped through associations. Her laugh, her smile, her glare, and then just her eyes, and the little lip bite she did when she knew she had something coming. Buck wished Ditzy was here to pull him away from all of this. He wanted to call his sister. He wanted to weep. And more than anything else, he wanted Adagio to be here with him, right now.
“I'm not like her; I have the opposite of her temperament. Where she pushes you away, I want you to get closer."
"No, that's not what-"
"My body is the same, if that’s what you’re worried about. Would you like to take a look~?” Heart Song purred, pressing her breasts against Buck’s arm. Buck blushed and shuffled away.
“That’s…chill out, lady,” Buck said, half laughing. His host did not share the laugh.
“Why?” Heart Song snarled.
“Huh?”
“Why should I? I’m being used to…to occupy you while Chrysalis prepares to make her play. I’m a bit part in a bigger story; so why should I “chill out” when you’re here and we’re alone? Why can’t I just take care of you, the way Adagio wants to but is too cowardly to try?” 
Buck could see a twinkle of tears in her eyes.
“Woah, I didn’t think about that-”
“What do you think happens to me once this scheme is through?” Heart Song said. “I can only exist for as long as I’m useful, so why can’t I luxuriate in your warmth? I’m hungry too, Buck!”
Heart Song clutched her own arms, looking small and vulnerable. Buck remembered her tears that night in his apartment before they made up. She’d looked small then, too.
Even if I don't get…terminated, I have the same hunger as Adagio. I’ll just wither away, and since I’m made of magic…”
“What’ll happen?” Buck said.
“I just want to hold on to you while I can.” Heart Song’s whimpers quieted as Buck slid his arms around her. She was so cold, he thought, but I can warm her up at the very least.
A toasty red shimmer bloomed around Buck.
“What’s keeping you here?”
“What?”
“Why not just go? Adagio’s got crazy magic skills, and you’ve gotta have ‘em too, right?”
“Yes, but it’s not that simple. This world is severely lacking in magic, remember? Where could I go where I wouldn’t be forced to scavenge or starve? And even if I leave, Queen Chrysalis would never stop chasing me.”
“What about the Pillars? Couldn’t they do something?”
“I don’t know those people, and I don’t trust them. With Adagio’s reputation, they would probably lock me up, or disappear me, or whatever it is they do with invasive equestrian creatures. It’s not as if it matters. My past isn’t mine, and I have no future. I’m just a means to an end!”
“I’m sorry. I know you didn’t ask to be here, and I know you didn’t ask to feel this way. I’m sorry you’re being used, and I’m sorry you were made to feel this way.” Buck said, giving her a gentle squeeze. He felt a wetness against his chest as Heart Song tried to hold back her sobs.
“I feel the way she does, but it’s all new and fresh for me. She’s emotionally constipated, and that’s how she likes it, but I can’t just dam it all up like her! It’s so lonely, Buck…”
“I know.”
“You don’t! You’re the best thing to happen to her-to us, since Aria and Sonata left.”
“What happened there? Why did they leave?” Buck said.
Heart Song looked up into his eyes with a boiling expression so furious it startled him.
“She drove them away. It was her own fault.”
“She said it was an accident-”
“No! Adagio knew what she was doing; she just didn’t care! She drove her sisters away; that’s what she’ll do to you because that’s what she does to everyone who gets close! Either they get smart and leave, or they stick around long enough to get killed! She uses up anyone foolish enough to get close. And when her sisters finally realized that, they did the smart thing and abandoned her! Adagio Dazzle is poisonous; she always has been, and that's why no one can love her!”
Buck’s thoughts whizzed by his head like red comets. This had to be at the core of Adagio’s pain, these vicious ultimatums she put on herself and the world. If this was all true, Buck was just another ship for Adagio to sink once she was done with him. But then, there was another feeling. One he recognized; that feeling of seeing a taint in oneself that was darker and more crushing than an ocean trench.
“I guess we’re not all that different after all,” Buck said.
“What?”
“There’s something in me that’s rotten; something that pushes away every girl that tries to hang around. Rara, Smolder, Ditzy…Her. They all come up with their own reasons, but the real one is simple. I’m broken, and they can’t fix me. So I've got to be better. I've got to be better than I was, every day, because then maybe someday, someone'll find me, and they'll really love me, because I'll finally deserve it."
As Buck spoke, his words dropped into a pitiful whimper. His warm fireplace aura took on a cold, stony flavor, wrapping the room in a sudden chill. Buck started to fall into his own heart, but a gentle hand caught him at the cheek.
“Aren’t you tired, Buck? Don’t you wish it was just a little bit easier?” Heart Song said.
“Yeah.” Buck’s voice cracked.
“Don’t cry…I’m here.” Heart Song hummed, nuzzling against Buck’s chest, squeezing him in an embrace that was more caring than any Adagio had afforded in the past. Buck saw a bit of green on the edges of his eyes, but she was so soft, and he was so tired. 
“What were you going to do, Buck?” Heart Song purred.
“Huh?”
“You said you would spoil Adagio after the boardwalk, but it never happened. So tell me…what were you going to do to her?”
Buck’s eyes darted nervously, but Heart Song stroked his cheek, smiling softly. Ditzy had given him that look before, when she woke up next to him.
“I…I was gonna make love to her.”
“Oh?”
“I mean, I was gonna go full service; rose petals, music and candles, and I was gonna tell her I…” Buck trailed off; his face flushed red, his aura flickering with pink. "I was gonna tell her how I really feel, but...I think she knows."
“You’re precious.”
“Ugh.”
“I don’t mean like a little baby, I mean like a sunken treasure chest.” Heart Song said.
“If I’m so precious, why doesn’t she look at me when we…when we do it? Why won’t she look me in the eyes? Why won't she just tell me how she feels?”
Heart Song gasped, blushed deeply, and looked about as embarrassed as Fluttershy in a dressing room. Her fingers drummed on Buck’s chest nervously as she thought it over. Then she leaned up to whisper in his ear.
“...she’s afraid that if she looks into your eyes while you’re inside her…she’ll fall in love on the spot. She can't tell you how she feels, because if she does...she'll have to acknowledge that its real.” Heart Song said, and she settled back down, fixing Buck with her softest gaze, her pupils shifting into pink hearts.
“...oh.” Buck said.
He was still full of questions, but he’d finally found the courage to ask the one that mattered.
“But, is it real? I mean, really…does…does she really have feelings for me, or is all of this just one big game?” Buck whispered.
“You want to know how she feels?” Heart Song said. She pulled back, looking up into Buck’s eyes.
“More than anything,” Buck said. His gaze flashed green as Heart Song smiled at him.
“Let me show you.”
She kissed him. 
It was a slow, tender thing; something unthinkable for the Adagio he knew. Heart Song's soft lips pressed against Buck's with a loving sigh, her hands sliding up his chest to lace behind his neck, pulling him down as her legs slipped around his waist in sweet surrender.
When she pulled away, Buck was on top of her.
“Will you show me? How you feel about her? Just for a little while…can we just stay here and play pretend?” Heart Song sighed, biting her lip.
And here it was; a sweet dream Buck had been having since he and Adagio met. She’d tried to push him away, again and again, but he’d been too stubborn to give up, and she’d been too determined to string him along, and now here it was; everything he wanted. An Adagio Dazzle that wanted him; loved him without compromise! 
And Buck kissed her back, even softer than before, and then again on the forehead, then once more on the lips, in a way he'd dreamed of doing every morning when he woke up with her beside him, every day they had to part, every moment they were alone. He filled his kisses with dreams of passion and peace, and he could see the pink heat swirling between their lips, and he didn't care, he just wanted a lifetime of this moment.
But then, Buck knew better now, didn’t he? He pulled his lips away, and Heart Song frowned as she saw a look of both remorse and determination on Buck's face.
“I…I can’t. I'm sorry.” Buck said.
“You what?” Heart Song said.
“This doesn’t feel right.”
“Ohhh yes it does…”
Buck tensed up as he felt Heart Song grind against him. It would be so easy to just…but he frowned.
“No, no…I don’t even know you.”
“Of course you do! You know me as well as you know her!”
“But you’re not her!”
Buck took to his knees to sit up, but Heart Song’s thighs squeezed his waist like a steel trap.
“You’re right. I’m better! I have all of her charm and none of her baggage! I don’t care about what Chrysalis wants and I don’t care what your Adagio wants; I know what I want, and it’s you!” Heart Song said.
Her eyes were glowing pink, pulsing with hearts.
“Okay, but you don’t know me, either?”
“I know everything she knows!”
“That ain’t a ton.”
“Then give me more!” Heart Song snarled, eyes flashing red.
"Woah!" Buck pried her legs open and scrambled across the room.
“Oops! Did I come on too strong? I’m sorry, I’m sorry, you’re just so…so…” Heart Song said. Her lengthening nails scratched the spread as she crawled across the bed toward Buck.
“Uhhh, I think you’re a lil’ love drunk there, Princess!” Buck said, pulling his jacket on.
“Ughhh fuck! Call me that again!” Heart Song moaned through a set of sharpening teeth. Buck heard something thud in the bathroom, and then rushing water.
“Hey, uh, I think your faucet’s banjaxed? Maybe you should take a look at it since you’re the water type and everything, you know? You know, a nice cold shower would prolly do you some good!” Buck said, quickly wrapping his scarf around his neck. 
“But I’m so wet already, Buck!” Heart Song sprang forward, arms outstretched, but as Buck cringed, she came to a sudden stop.
“Take that thing off.” Heart Song growled, her nose crinkling, gills flexing on her neck.
“What?”
“Thank pink scarf! It reeks of her.”
“I never told Adagio about Her.”
“No, Ditzy Doo! It’s like she’s marking her territory!”
The carpet near the bathroom darkened. Hot steam rose from beneath the door.
“Well, I mean, she made it. And we’re still technically dating, so-”
“NOT FOR LONG!” Heart Song lunged, catching only air as Buck screamed out the door.
“Shit, shit, shit, shit!” Buck said, running for his life. 
The drones on the ceiling tried to dive-bomb him, but Buck’s entire being was focused on sprinting down the hall. He picked up his knees like a football player and tried to apply all of his jogging practice from the last few months.
An explosion of steam rushed down the corridor like a backdraft, and in it, Buck could hear the changelings fleeing as a manic siren came screeching after him like a demonic barracuda.
“Come back, Buck! There’s no use hiding; I can smell your love! I just want a little taste…let me taste you, Buck!”





“You know what your problem is? You always have to do everything on your own.” Sunburst said.
Starlight was struggling to catch her breath. She was flailing her way through the phalanx of drones, knocking them back with her staff, desperately trying not to kill any of them, even as they started to melt. She had made it several feet down the hallway, and the whole time, Sunburst kept floating just out of range, taunting her from his vantage point far down the hall. Starlight took a step forward. He took a step back.
“That’s why you’re alone right now. You just had to go and split the party because Starlight Glimmer doesn’t need anyone! Starlight Glimmer always has to be right, and she always just has to have her way, and that’s why Starlight Glimmer doesn’t have any friends!” Sunburst laughed.
“Shut up! You don’t know anything!” Starlight said.
Crack!
A furious blast of red mana slammed into the ceiling near Sunburst, who grinned with gleeful malice.
“I know your shots go wide after about 65 yards. I know you’re scared, and I know you feel stupid for splitting the party!”  
“I DON’T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU!” Starlight exploded into the air. A heat dome of red fury erupted from her whole body, blasting the changelings back, their summoned shields shattered. They weren’t simply knocked away; their slimy forms were vaporized on the spot. It’s not him, Starlight thought. It’s not him because he’d never treat me this way; Sunburst understands me better than anyone; he’s lying to you, don’t listen!
“No, you don’t, technically, but there’s a first time for everything,” Sunburst said.
A ball of yellow light hit Starlight in the bad leg, and instead of it striking with force, Starlight’s momentum turned against her. She hit the floor with a yelping thud, tasting blood in her mouth.
“There’s a new spell he’s been working on. Not sure about the name yet, but…oh, but you don’t care about that.” Sunburst said. 
Starlight was up again, red flames licking her shoulders.
“Tell me where he is! What have you done to him!?” Starlight roared, spitting red fire. She felt that adrenaline rush from the fair as she blasted a volley of fireballs at Sunburst, relishing the thought of this creep being burned alive as much as she feared it.
“You’re always like this. A little prodding, and you fall off the handle! Now tell me, is that how a hero is supposed to act?” Sunburst laughed. Another ball of light swiped Starlight’s polearm away, and another kicked her leg out from under her, but she took the fall on the chin and rushed forward.
“Shut up! You don’t know me! You don’t know anything about me!”
Sunburst slapped her. He slapped her! Somehow, that intimate, cruel strike across the face hurt Starlight more than any barb that had been thrown before. She fell to the floor, touching her cheek in shock. 
"I know you're a failure. As a sorcerer and as a girlfriend. And the only reason anyone talks to you is because you can shoot laser beams. Face it, Starlight. You're no hero. You're just a weapon."
A pair of drones grabbed Starlight’s hands, then pasted them to the floor with wads of slime.
“No! Get off me! GET OFF ME!”
“What to do with you? There’s so much here; I could power up these drones and have them beat you to a pulp! Or I could turn you into a sheep! Hmm…so many spells to choose from!” Sunburst said, holding the book in one hand, a crystal in the other.
“Where are you getting those!?” Starlight shrieked. She tried to rise, but the drones pasted her ankles down.
“Just a little gift from my benefactor, The Queen. Very nice of her to help me fuel my spells.” Sunburst said. “Since I’ve got you here, I’ll let you know that this is Stygian’s Book of Spells. You wouldn’t know about him; but I do. Did you know your Sunburst has been reading up on Equestrian Lore behind your back?”
“He…he always reads about Equestrian lore!”
“No, no, this is special! He knows about the heroes of Equestria. He knows about himself on that side, and he knows all about you, too. Haven’t you ever wondered why he hasn’t mentioned that world’s Starlight Glimmer?”
Starlight’s struggling stopped for a moment. The thought had never occurred to ask; neither Sunburst nor Sunset Shimmer had ever mentioned her counterpart. But the malicious dripping of this Sunbursts’ words made her heart skip a beat.
“You must be curious, right? The Rainbooms have their own counterparts, and they’re the greatest heroes in Equestria! That side’s Sunburst is also a respected figure; a scholar, a teacher, and a problem solver. But Starlight Glimmer? Let’s just say her lore is a little complicated.”
“I’m not listening to this! I’m not hearing this!” Starlight shouted.
“That’s fine; I know you like being tied up. Hey…hey! Look at me when I’m talking to you!”
Sunburst kicked Starlight in the ribs. She gasped in pain, tears coming to her eyes as she glared at this cruel mockery of the love of her life.
“That world’s Starlight Glimmer was a nasty piece of work. She was hated for the things she did! But she turned it all around, and has risen to become one of, if not the most powerful unicorn in Equestria! She’s saved the world a couple of times, too! And the best part? She’s a teacher! Instead of hunting monsters, she runs a school of friendship! She’s loved and respected!”
Starlight’s eyes widened. It was impossible.
“It kind of makes you think, doesn’t it? She’s every bit the hero you aren’t!” Sunburst laughed as tears poured from Starlight’s eyes. “Oh, don’t worry! You don't have to stay a total failure! A person without a cutie mark is unique! Think of the experiments we can run on you!"
"FUCK YOU!" Starlight screamed a torrent of red flame from her mouth, its flare filling the chamber with a raging inferno. When the smoke cleared, through her tear-filled sight, Starlight saw a singed wall of shields, and behind it, the same cruel smirk as before. The drones moved aside, tensing at the ready for any more outbursts as Sunburst casual flipped through the book.
"Now, now, there’s healing techniques in here, even some basic alchemy from Mage Meadowbrook! I won’t let you die, but…I wonder what would happen if we turned your spell focus into something more triggerable…like pain?” Sunburst said, stomping on Starlight’s bad leg.
“SOMEBODY HELP ME!” Starlight squealed.
A red flame erupted out of Starlight as she screamed, but it was useless scattershot, lacking in direction.  Just like her.
“Oh, fine.” Came a familiar voice.
The goo holding Starlight down rose from her limbs and swept the legs out from under the shield-bearing drones.
Sunburst screamed and stumbled toward his support drones, clutching a sudden stab wound in his side.  Starlight felt a hand on her wrist.
Salvation arrived with red eyes and frazzled hair, a blade in one hand and a furious sneer on its face.
It was Adagio Dazzle, hauling Starlight to her feet.
“But you need to help me, too.” Adagio finished.
Behind Adagio, moving at a casual stroll, was Buck, but something was off. He had a pair of horns protruding from his forehead and the silhouette of a devil in the heat haze behind him. He squinted past the ladies.
“...that you, bro?” Buck said.
“Oh no,” Starlight said.





Having missed the evolving conflict breaking out in the lobby, Scootaloo and Greg passed through the nonsense architecture of the Hive completely unbothered.
“This place makes no sense! How do any of you get around?” Scootaloo said.
“Trust.” Greg shrugged.
A pair of drones melted in place on either side of a pair of doors marked “Kitchen”. Greg waved to them, and despite their confused looks, they nodded and allowed entry.
The kitchen was longer than it was wide; well-lit and cramped with the tell-tale bustle of food service that Scootaloo was all too familiar with. Despite the steam in the air, the changelings in the kitchen were far less melty than the others as they stirred pots, prepped ingredients on cutting boards and wore adorable little chefs hats. One of the drones burned something on the stove, and another swatted at it comically with a spatula, gibbering in a garbled impression that Scootaloo recognized as Gordon Ramsey.
“What’s going on in here?” Scootaloo said incredulously.
“Who knows?” Greg said, in Starlight’s voice.
“Ugh. You know it’s creepy when you talk in other people’s voices?” Scootaloo said.
“Creepy?” Greg repeated.
“You know, spooky? It creeps me out.”
“Spooky?” Greg repeated.
“Nevermind.”
Greg and Scootaloo weaved through the small army of changeling cooks, through the smells of delicious food and the sounds of chefs and sous hissing back and forth, until they passed into the kind of nightmare Scootaloo had expected.
The pantry was even more spacious than the kitchen, lit exclusively by those hanging green sacs, shrouded in gloom and a tacky spoiled licorice smell. Cocoons lined the floor and ceiling, filled with people in various stages of consciousness. Some of them were struggling against their bonds. Many more had clearly given up.
“God, that’s gross! Okay, okay, let’s see…”
Scootaloo squinted at the faces in the cocoons, trying to stay focused. As long as she had a goal, she wouldn’t freak out. At least, that’s what she kept telling herself.
“...isn’t that Buck’s weed lady? And…and Silver Spoon! Oh geez, they really did get you! And…what’s his name, Norman? What’s he doing here? And…and…oh no.”
Scootaloo saw a few people she recognized and many more she didn’t. None of her friends were here.
“Okay…nobody here can help me...that means everybody is still running around in here, probably being way more badass than me, except maybe Buck, because let’s face it, the guy couldn’t hurt a fly! So, so, so, what do I do? Do I get out there and look for them? With this leg? I guess, I guess I could cut these guys loose, but then what? What’ll you do then, Scoots!? Just let them run into that kitchen to get captured again? Oooh I need a plan, I need a plaaaan, but I don’t do plans; that’s why I’m stuck in here in the first place!” Scootaloo’s ramble grew more desperate by the second.
“Plan?” Greg says.
“Any ideas!?” Scoots said, frantically. Greg backpedaled away from her.
“Right, okay, think Scoots! Think, think, think! I know where this is! That’s good! I can maybe find it again with a little help, maybe? If I get someone else, we can bust these guys outta here, and then-” Scootaloo’s valiant attempts to be brave suddenly broke apart when she realized her voice was the only sound she heard.
The bustle of the kitchen had gone quiet, replaced with a silence so deafening. Scootaloo could hear it creeping up the walls.
When the doors to the pantry opened, Scootaloo and Greg were already hiding behind the cocoons.
“...as you were! I’m only stepping in for a moment, get back to work!” Queen Chrysalis barked. Her robe hung from her narrow shoulders like a thin curtain. Her sickly green eyes swept over her captured prey. “Just a quick snack, and it’s back to the bedroom. Just a quick snack; your guests are arriving! Now what shall I have? Despair is so cold and bitter…any fear left in here? I ought to stay sharp…”
Her gnarled black talon traced the air, causing all who saw it to shiver. She settled on the perfectly average man that Scootaloo recognized as Norman, who exhaled a wordless wail as Chrysalis split the pod open.
“Yes…that’s right! Feed me your terror!” Scoots watched in horror as a torrent of green fear surged out of Norman, who grew pale, passing out in a matter of moments.
The queen of the changeling’s emaciated form filled out some, becoming softer, plumper and more buxom. Scootaloo couldn’t help but notice her own instant bipanic mixing with the horror of the moment.
“Ahhh…there we are! Much better. Now I can think straight, ugh!” Chrysalis grabbed either side of her head, turning her neck until it popped. “Now…if I were a human man, what color would I prefer to see? Pink is an obvious choice, but I despise it…he could have a fondness for yellow, considering his company, oh but that’s far too sunny!”
“Orange?” Gregor mumbled under his breath.
“What? No! Buck likes purples! Like dark purple.” Scootaloo said out loud.
“Is that so?” Chrysalis said, her eyes flashing green.
The cocoons parted suddenly, revealing Scootaloo’s shaking form and Gregor in front of her.
Scootaloo froze on the spot; less a deer in the headlights and more a goldfish in a floodlight. Her whole brain fell directly into her stomach.
“Ah. It’s you. I recognize you, now. You’re one of those annoying little foals from Ponyville. Where are your two cohorts?”
“There’s a Canterlot Movie Club in pony world!?”
“Right. You’re the dumb one. I remember, now.”
“Hey! You’re…tall.”
In two steps, Queen Chrysalis towered over Scootaloo. With a casual flick of the wrist, Greg scuttled away, toward a wall. Chrysalis leaned far down to speak with Scootaloo at as close to eye level as she could manage.
“You sprayed me with something before. It was painful. Quite a bit of spirit in you, isn’t there?” Chrysalis said, stroking Scoot’s cheek in a way that was in the same ballpark as calling her “Good girl” or putting a collar around her neck. Terror and horniness started a knife fight in Scootaloo’s mind.
“What are you going to do to me? Take your sexy revenge?” Scootaloo blurted.
“Obviously."
Chrysalis hacked up a ball of slime, which pasted Scootaloo’s mouth shut. She looked frantically at Greg as her legs stuck together, then her hands to the floor. Greg averted his eyes.
“And you! Very naughty of you to come in here with such a prime treat and not even think about sharing,” Chrysalis said.
Greg pointed to himself, shaking like a freezing chihuahua.
“Yes, you. Normally you’d be punished, but since you’ve managed to deliver such a wonderful boon, I’ll let it slide. This time.”
“M…message!” Greg said, straightening up. His Queen’s eyes narrowed.
“Go on then.” 
“Found him!” Greg said. “Buck!”
“Is that so?”
“Caves. Caves to here!”
“You led him to the Hive?”
Greg nodded enthusiastically.
“And who is he with?” Greg shifted to Heart Song’s form. Scootaloo’s eyes widened. “Then I haven’t much time,” Chrysalis said, stroking her chin.
Greg shifted back to his true form, looking on nervously. 
“...right. Excellent work. You’ll be rewarded for this. For now, take this one to the dining room. The others will show you where to place it. Go.” Chrysalis said.
Greg looked around nervously, completely lost for a moment. He looked at Scootaloo’s pleading eyes.
“Now!” Chrysalis boomed.
Greg scrambled sheepishly to lift Scootaloo up. She thrashed and tried to kick, but it was no use. She’d been caught. The sudden tears in Greg’s matched the betrayal in Scootaloo's eyes as he carried her through the kitchen.
“Sorry,” Greg said. It was Starlight’s voice.





The lobby of the Snowdrop Inn was in a state of disarray. The glass facade where the doors had been was shattered inward, filling the foyer with a bank of fresh snow, slimy footprints dotted the old carpet, and then there were the guests.
“Now, I know what you’re going to say.” Starlight Glimmer said, hastily wiping her eyes,
They were surrounded. Adagio and Starlight were once again back-to-back, facing ludicrous odds. The strange clones of Buck and Sunburst were circling them like creeps in a back-alley dance club. Starlight and Adagio moved at the same clip, refusing to be flanked.
“You lost Buck.” Adagio said.
“We split up at the cave! I thought he was with you!” Starlight said.
"I was! Sorta!" Buck said.
"What do you-oh. Oh. Oh, no." Adagio groaned. "These two are obviously impostors, which means-"
"Which means there's another one of you running around. As if one of you isn't enough of a headache."
"Yes, well, let's hope there's only one of you. I don't think I could survive listening to you bitch at me in stereo."
The copy Sunburst was moving slowly, a soft yellow glow lighting beneath a hand at his side. A healing spell.
“There would be no point! The Queen obviously thought another Starlight Glimmer would be a liability.” Sunburst said.
"Or she's afraid of you," Adagio smirked over her shoulder at Starlight. 
Starlight had finally caught her breath. The blazing red of Buck's aura was already diminishing in the presence of Adagio's cold, focused arrogance. In a horrifying way, Starlight understood why Buck was so fixated on the siren.
“So, are we doin' it, or what? I've gettin' blue balled all night, and now I'm feelin' scrappy!” Buck said. He took a step forward, but a smoking hole in the carpet stopped him short. The look in Starlight’s eyes said “Try me.” Buck’s smoldering grin said “Bitch, I might.”
"Anyway, you lost Sunburst! How did that happen?" Starlight said.
"She abandoned me, clearly!" Sunburst grunted, taking his hand away from the scar on his side.
“Quiet! We were ambushed. Sunburst managed to toss me in here before getting captured. I’m going to guess you went off on your own and now…” Adagio said.
“And now we’re here. They really aren’t them, are they?” Starlight said.
“Tryna find out if it's okay to ice us, huh?” Buck said.
“Shut up, Buck!” Starlight said. "The Queen doesn't do brainwashing, does she?"
“She does, on occasion," Sunburst said, against perusing Stygian's spellbook.
"I wasn't asking you!" Starlight said, drawing a circle on her free palm with chalk.
"Mistmane’s Mana Serpent.” Sunburst said, his aura shimmering like sunlight on a puddle. A horned serpent apparated around him, hissing as it reared back to strike. Another piece of quartz disintegrated in his hand.
“They’re some sort of changeling trick. Buck is nothing like this barking dog," Adagio sneered.
“How do you know? How do you know I’m not just another animal, like the kind you like to feed on? That’s how you treat me anyways, right!?” Buck said.
“Shut up, Buck, you’re not part of this conversation!” Adagio said, flicking her tongue.
“Wow. Fucking rude.” Buck said.
“Isn’t she always?” Sunburst said with a grin.
Adagio rolled her eyes, noticing the bank of snow that had invaded the lobby’s front doors.
“You taste a bit low. Is that Buck’s energy?” Adagio said.
“We worked things out.” Starlight shrugged.
“Giggity,” Buck said.
“Shut up, Buck!” Adagio and Starlight said in unison.
“Not like that! You’ve all got filthy minds!” Starlight said.
“Says the girl that likes getting tied up!” Sunburst said.
“Oooh~ Scandalous!” Adagio said.
“He’s lying!” Starlight stuttered.
“If he was, you wouldn’t be so embarrassed, dearie.” Adagio said.
“Woah, kinky! Thought she’d be more of a pillow princess! Hey Sunburst, you ever think about doin’ a lil’ swap?” Buck said.
"WHAT." Starlight said, her aura flaring.
“I wouldn’t mind that.” Sunburst smirked.
“What-I-I-I, that’s not up to…absolutely NOT!” Starlight shrieked.
“Let’s not be too hasty!” Adagio teased. “I can see you blushing!”
“You’re blushing!” Starlight said.
“That’s because that idiot has been chasing me around! His aura is like an invasive margarita with…with aphrodisiacs mixed in!” Adagio complained. The impostor Buck made a little kissy noise at her.
“That’s nothing; mine keeps hitting me with a bunch of trivia that I don’t care about!” Starlight said.
“You know she can tell when you’re lying, right? That’s an Adagio thing, ain’t it?” Buck said.
“It is,” Adagio said. She could feel the heat in Starlight’s cheeks. “I hate to say it, but I’m afraid the boys have the right idea.”
“What!?” Starlight said.
“Jackpot!” Buck said, pumping a fist.
“He’s projecting his aura outward, and you know how it is; I can’t stay close to that creature, or I’ll get drunk.” Adagio said.
“I can’t catch that slippery creep with my spells. He's stalling!” Starlight spat. She touched the dusty carpet, and a simple wooden staff tore itself up from the floor beneath. She took a stance at the approaching clone of Buck, who grinned as he strolled forward.
Adagio’s eyes narrowed as she spotted the book that Sunburst was flipping through.
“Then let’s act decisively, shall we?” Adagio said, raising her blade at Sunburst. Starlight looked at Buck and cracked her knuckles. "We can't afford to waste any more time on these cretins."
“No killing!” Starlight said. She heard a soft crunching noise, like the churn of a snow-cone machine. The dark wetness beneath the snow crept outward across the carpet.
“I’ll do as I please!” Adagio said.
“Buck asked me not to, and I’m asking you!” Starlight said.
Adagio frowned. Of course he would ask that, the idiot. Of course he wouldn’t want to kill any of these insects. Of course he’d be the one to enforce mercy. Of course his name alone was enough to make Adagio feel guilty.
“We need to squeeze them for information! They know things.” Starlight said. 
“Ooh, I got one! Did you know that Adagio has a cute lil’ mole next to her-” Buck started.
“Stop talking about my body!” Adagio shouted. “Just stay out of my way, Starlight!”
“I was about to say the same thing!” Starlight said.
In unison, they dashed for their targets.
"Hell yeah, let's party!" Buck cheered.
Adagio’s steel clanged off a shimmering shield of light. Sunbursts’ retinue of drones had finally caught up, immediately shifting into his form.
“Great job losing Sunburst, by the way. Are you going to tell Starlight what you learned out there?” Sunburst said.
“So you know the things he knows. That’s interesting. Anything else you want to share?” Adagio said. Her eyes were burning red, her steps still unsteady as the changelings tried to bash her away with their shields.
“I’m going to defeat you with the spells in Stygian’s spellbook! The very powers that sent you to this world!” Sunburst said. The mana serpent struck, but Adagio danced around it, humming a tune.
“Excellent. That’s just what I need.” Adagio said. Her smile submerged into an expression like surf at midnight, and suddenly an attacking drone went down, immobile.
“Get her! Keep her back!” Sunburst barked. 
The drones charged, but another fell, then another. They hissed and kicked pathetically as they froze to the floor. The snowmelt had snuck across the carpet, and now it flash-froze the drones on the spot.
“You’re a man of learning, so I’ll teach you a simple lesson,” Adagio said, her words coming out in a frigid hum. Her heeled feet grew surer, her aura shifting from red to a green that gradually grew as dark as the sea. 
Buck was here somewhere, and these things were standing in the way of her finding him. They were compromising her grand scheme, and that simply wouldn't do. Cold, simple hatred spread across Adagio's eyes, turning them into black pools. Anything was better than the burning in her skin.
“Don’t be my enemy,” Adagio said.
Adagio rushed forward, a sheen of ice on her rapier as it pierced a drone through the neck, then another. Only one remained, brandishing a shield in front of Sunburst, but it's fearful eyes went blank as an icicle from the carpet speared it in the back.
As the drones fell, Adagio glared at Sunburst with the numb hate of an iceberg watching a ship approach.
The clone frantically launched across the room, with Adagio hot on his heels.
"Hey Glimglam, I see you finally got that stick outta your ass! What happened? Didja finally fly high enough to get over yourself?" The clone Buck chuckled, but his words fell on deaf ears.
This will be easy, Starlight thought. He doesn’t have any combat spells, he literally can’t defend himself!
Starlight jabbed and feinted at Buck, who despite his fearsome, near demonic facade, was crouched, his arms covering his face. Buck's eyes kept drifting to Adagio’s ass, the shape of her round cheeks traced in red fancies. This was immediately annoying.
“Why! Won’t! You! Fight me!” Starlight said.
“I think I love that girl…” Buck mumbled. Red heart-shaped fireworks crackled around his head.
“Oh, for the love of…can you focus for one FUCKING SECOND!?” Starlight shouted.
The staff cracked across Buck’s cheek. He pitched to the side but caught his stumble. More hearts crackled around his head, burning red, red, red…pink.
It was like a grenade going off. Starlight put up a shield just in time to avoid a sudden, carpet-scorching explosion with Buck in the center.
“Oh shit! I can do that!? I didn’t know I can do that!” Buck said. “Yo, Glimglam, remember that shit you said about burning people’s faces off?”
Wisps of black smoke rose from his palms, which bloomed with red heat.
“Oh, no.” Starlight said. “No, no, no, you like making fart noises instead!”
“Why not both!?”
A fart sound ripped across the air as Buck’s searing hand missed Starlight by a hair’s breadth. The other came around, and Starlight caught it; her hand enveloped in a colorless aura that sucked the mana from Buck’s palm.
“Woah, nice trick! You learn that from Adagio?” Buck said.
A resounding whack from Starlight’s staff butted him away. She stumbled a bit, a sudden, poisonous buzz rushing into her head.
“God, Adagio’s right, your aura is like hot cocoa spiked with Hims.” Starlight grunted, rubbing her temple. She groaned as she saw Buck running full tilt at Adagio. 
“Suck my dick, Glimglam!” Buck yelped, and his chin smacked the floor. His feet were trapped into two bubbles of red force. Starlight smirked. “…fuck! Fuck, I’m so fucking horny, FUCK!” Buck shouted and slapped the bubble shields, which detonated in two cracks of pinkish-red flame.
He scrambled to his feet, rushing at Adagio, but a lasso of force caught him around the waist, holding him back.
“Keep it in your pants!” Starlight said, pulling on her staff like a fishing rod. “Adagio! Wall off your side!”
Adagio snapped her fingers. A wall of ice rumbled out of the snow, diving the space between Buck and the retreating Sunburst.
“There, now you’re stuck with me! Are you ready to start taking this seriously!?” Starlight said, rushing at Buck, pulling on the tether.
“I dunno, I’m havin’ fun!” Buck laughed. With a pelvic thrust, he burned the lasso away. “Speakin’ of, how about a classic? Tag! Rules are, we’ll see what happens if I tag you!” Buck said.
“Focus, Starlight, focus!” Starlight muttered. Buck’s passion roiled inside her, hazing red around her head. Any stray touch would only add to the rising store of power in Starlight, threatening to drive her manic, and it didn’t help that he was so good at being annoying. Fancies buzzed around Buck’s head, here a smiley face, there a butterfly's wings, one, two, three copies of Adagio's swaying ass fluttering around as Buck tried to grab Starlight. It was like watching his intrusive thoughts appear in real time. It was almost funny.
"Random bullshit, go!" Buck laughed, and the thoughtless doodles rushed at Starlight, buzzing around her head like angry gnats. 
"Ugh, you're such a pest!" Starlight tried to remember her training. She thought about Sunset Shimmer, smiling as she reminded Starlight to relax. She let out a deep breath. The red glow simmered around her.
Buck’s smoking hands were quick, but Starlight’s deft movements turned every grab into a near miss. Buck tried to go for a tackle, but Starlight’s staff smacked him thrice, sparking blue with each contact to the head, arm and leg.
“Yow!” Buck dropped down, grabbing his knee.
“Will you quit playing around?” Starlight said, but there was a bit of a chuckle in her voice. The ridiculousness of the situation was setting in.
“Come on, where’s the fun in that!?” Buck rose suddenly, reaching out with his burning hand.
Starlight tried to leap away, but she felt a splitting pain in her leg, stumbling.
"Gah!"
“Oh! Oh, shit, are you alright?” Buck came to a sudden stop, looking over Starlight’s form, at first with concern, but then with an uncomfortable leer. “It’s the leg, right? You wanna take a break? Y'know, I bet Sunburst wouldn't mind if I gave you a lil' massage to help soothe that.”
Thwack! Starlight's fist smashed into Buck's jaw, then a second, bright blue impact threw him across the room.
"You keep your hands off me, you creep!" Starlight said.
“Easy questions first. Where are you getting all of those crystals?” Adagio said.
“As if I’d tell you!” Sunburst said.
The serpent lashed, its fangs digging deep into Adagio's thigh, but she didn't even flinch. The rime on her blade telescoped into a spike of ice, piercing Sunburst in the shoulder.
“GAAH!” Sunburst screamed, and the serpent disappeared. He clawed desperately at the ice spike now suspending him in the air.
“You can’t beat me, so you may as well talk. The crystals. Where?”
Small crystal spurs branched out of the icicle, dripping blood as they dug into Sunbursts’ shoulder.
“GRAGH! Fine, I’ll tell you! Chrysalis is making the drones collect them!”
“Obviously! Where from, and how much?”
“Oh come on, I don’t know!”
Adagio twisted the splintering blade.
“Ow, ow, ow! Alright, alright! A lot! A lot, a lot! There’s a crate of them in the broom closet down the west hall!”
“Where did they find them?”
“I don’t know, I don’t know! I head something about a mine, but I swear I don't know anything else!” Sunburst said. “There is something I do know, though!”
“What is it?” Adagio said.
“Buck will never trust you again.” Sunburst smiled.
Adagio’s world rushed by as a grip of yellow light whipped her against a wall. She hit with a thud, gritting her teeth. The long icicle spear shattered, leaving just the jagged ice coating the blade.
“And it’s not because you keep sniping at him!”
Sunburst vaulted into the air with a flickering yellow glow, casting a hasty healing spell on his shoulder, but Adagio was just after him, carried aloft by a thin disk of ice. She hummed a dirge for Sunburst, blades of ice dancing through the air after him.
“It’s because he knows better! You’re starting to resemble Minuette! You go cold so easily, so why do you have such a hard time with Buck?” Sunburst said, leaving a smattering of fading yellow orbs in his wake, sending Adagio’s projectiles off in random directions. 
“He has a bit more power than Starlight, which is to say more than nothing, but his fine control is feeble. His “levitation” is a glorified leap. Those serpents protect him from close range attacks These orbs are…”
Adagio weaved through the air, but an orb connected with her icy platform, whisking it out from under her.
“Interesting use of levitation, right? I think I'll call it ‘Sunbursts Shimmering Sling!’”
The orbs closed on Adagio…and then went past as she suddenly shot upward. The icicle around her blade floated backwards in the air, with Adagio holding on to the handle. Sunburst’s orbs flickered out before they even hit the ground. Adagio saw Sunburst reach into his pocket...and come up empty. No more crystals.
  “You may as well give up! Your spells are too anemic to do much harm!” Adagio said.
“That’s a point! I should be taking notes; you know better than anyone about causing harm! You keep hurting Buck without even trying! Mistmane’s Mana Serpent!” Another serpent coiled in the air around Sunburst, but this one flickered a bit, Sunburst wincing as he tried to stabilize it.
There it was again. A deep, cold, welcoming feeling. Sunburst’s taunts sank into Adagio like lost ships.
“You keep hurting him because he wants to know you! But if he does…” Sunburst was backpedaling, the serpent hissing with menace as Adagio drifted closer.
Adagio was an icy peak; her power an avalanche, her mood as cold and hard as a glacier.
“If he knows you, he’ll see what you see every time you look in the mirror.” Sunburst said, with the kind of sadistic smile that only ever accompanies a painful truth. "A monster."
Adagio rose into the air, swathed in swirling darkness that gave way to dark purple fins and equine ears.
“You want to see a monster? I’ll show you a monster!” 
The bank of snow rose in a familiar form. It had a great, elegant dorsal fin, a cyclonic, serpentine form, and a pair of rushing hooves. It rampaged into the air, smashing the top off the ice wall, it’s massive equine head splitting open into a sea of whirling icicle teeth as it howled with the breath of a storm.
“What the hell are you doing!?” Starlight said, dodging falling ice blocks.
“Go!” Sunburst said. His mana serpents charged valiantly into the blizzard, and were lost completely in the howling wind. He vaulted away, throwing another volley of yellow orbs, which did nothing but stir up the snow.
“That’s right, run!” Adagio cackled. “Run, run, before the monster swallows you whole!” She grinned madly as the living storm screamed through the air after Sunburst.
Sunburst vaulted through the air, mumbling, flailing, failing to find focus as the jaws of the storm closed around him, and then there was only screams. Adagio was dimly aware of his form quivering as sharpened hailstones tore him asunder.
Starlight looked up with stiff shock. Her hands tightened on her staff until it creaked. Her eyes flashed blue.
The storm unleashed a victory screech that sounded like the howl of a hurricane, shaking dust from the lobby rafters. 
Adagio laughed with it and felt a profound, delicious emptiness. Her hair crinkled, greys shooting through the curly tresses. Her skin went pale, her brilliant raspberry eyes dulled, and her nails lengthened. Adagio's legendary beauty was fading, but she couldn't care less. 
She had almost forgotten; here was a place where she didn’t need to burn in the light of the sun. She was safe. She was home. She turned to regard the battlefield beneath her, and her frozen heart skipped a beat.
Starlight Glimmer said nothing. Her brief terror was replaced by the calculating glare of a hunter. Adagio knew the look; Starlight was thinking of ways to defeat her, and she had been the whole time.
“Don’t you dare judge me, Starlight Glimmer! I did what I must, to…to…” Adagio spat, but then her eyes trailed away from Starlight to a prone form whimpering on the ground. 
A ring of embers singed the carpet around the strange copy of Buck, who was doubled over, covering his head. 
“No, no, no, no, no!” Buck sobbed, his aura diminishing with each desperate gasp. 
His eyes turned up to Adagio with same look of terror he’d given when she’d chased him after their first night.  She saw in this strange clone’s eyes a small child that had seen his life dashed to pieces by a storm, and now, in her own nefarious way, Adagio was becoming yet another storm that threatened to drown everything this man held dear in floodwater.
The storm containing Adagio’s true form unleashed a bestial yawp, then dispersed into a falling blanket of snowflakes. All of Adagio’s cold hatred warmed at the corners of her eyes, threatening to boil over.
“He cursed me. That’s what this is; he cursed me, and now I can’t…I can’t…I can’t be this way anymore.” Adagio whimpered, floating to the ground, her awakened features receding.
For a few moments, Starlight stared, completely dumbfounded, because she was seeing what she recognized as the impossible.
Adagio Dazzle was feeling remorse.
Neither recognized the discordant tinkling of chimes in a breeze, nor the strangely harsh sunlight aura that flashed behind Starlight.
She whirled around and saw the cruel clone of Sunburst on the ground in front of Buck. He looked like a hacked stump, and as he crawled, clutching Stygian's spellbook to his chest, his face sagged and deflated.
“Bro?” Buck said. "What? What the hell did she do to you?"
His eyes flitted back to Adagio. She saw sorrowful tears turning angry.
“We don’t have to win. All we have to do is wear them down. Do you think you can do that?” Sunburst said, his cruel mirth little more than a glint in his eye. 
“Yeah, brother....I can do that.”
The strange Sunburst clone went still. With a sudden poof, he was replaced by a clipped log, a photograph, and the burned remains of a tuft of hair. The cape, glasses and leatherbound spellbook tumbled to the ground.
The clone of Buck stared at Adagio and smiled.
"I forgive you." Buck said.
"You do?" Adagio said.
"No." Buck said.
A pillar of black and pink flame erupted from the odd clone. Starlight Glimmer would have been scorched were it not for a wall of ice that rose to shield her. 
Adagio was at Starlight’s side, and for once there was no compromise in her gladness. At least they could face this horror show together.
The garish torrent of flame halted.
Before their eyes, the copy of Buck awoke in a twisted form. His curling horns were asymmetrical and gnarled. His wings were malformed and filled with holes, his feet had turned into cloven hooves, and a spade-tipped tail extended from his behind. He was like some sort of changeling fever dream from hell. The air around him crackled with fear and lust in equal measure.
“I suppose negotiation is off the table. Advice?” Starlight said.
“Don’t let that thing touch you.” Adagio hissed, raising her sword. “I suggest we fight together this time. We might not survive otherwise.”
"C'mon ladies! Who wants to dance!? Let's really cut loose!" Buck barked, eyeing Starlight and Adagio like a starving dog.
“This is a nightmare, so fine. We can't afford to waste any more time.” Starlight said.
It was a stand-off. Starlight was battered and exhausted, and Adagio didn’t fare much better. It had been a long, painful day full of conflict and anguish for the both of them, but here, at least, they could stand together. Here at least, their goals aligned: regroup with their lovers and take down the queen, and this horrible thing was just an obstacle in their path.
Their communication was a wordless focus. Starlight held out a finger. Her mana, having been steeped in the copy Buck’s aura, shifted from red to a shining blue as it gathered at her fingertip.
“Justice.” Starlight muttered.
Adagio felt it, too. Just inhaling the air around Starlight Glimmer made her feel sturdier and more brash. Her skin smoothed, and the color returned to her form, but the aura was novel. It tasted like a cuneiform tablet, or maybe a roasted beast. Something steady and hearty.
"Yes." Adagio sighed. "Have it your way."
And just as they were about to rush forward and begin the desperate struggle anew, a peculiar sound came from a nearby hallway, bringing them all to a halt.
"Nope! Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope!"
“What the fuck?” Starlight said.
And then they saw it. A pair of beaten-up sneakers pounding along the carpet, a jean jacket and pants, and a fluffy pink scarf. A strange cloud of mist gaining on them. A set of glowing red eyes and gnashing teeth cackling from inside it.
"Come back, lover! I just want a little taste!" Heart Song sang.
“Oh, you have got to be kidding me.” Adagio said.
The copy Buck just laughed as the genuine article tore full sprint into the lobby with a love-drunk sea monster at his heels.
“TRADE ME, TRADE ME, TRADE ME!” Buck screamed.
> Chapter 37 - Dr. Sunshine is Dead (Will Wood and the Tapeworms)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a low, sharp sound, rumbling across the summer sky like fall thunder. The hole in the sky shuddered, flaring pink like an infected wound. In the minutes since Adagio disappeared into the hive, the gash had expanded, and now a shaft of light shone through it onto the valley’s blanket of steaming snow.
The sparkling surroundings of the Little Snowdrop Inn warmed in the oppressive summer heat.
Higher up the mountain, the ice shifted with an ominous growl.





“-TRADE ME, TRADE ME, TRADE ME!” Buck’s panicked squeals carried him into the lobby, then came to an abrupt halt as he passed Starlight and Adagio. 
For a second, all parties looked at each other in bewilderment, all save for the copy Buck, who was too busy laughing to do anything else. His horned head was thrown back, his odd, gnarled wings flapping uselessly, his cloven-hoofed feet tapping. His skin was an oddly lighter purple than Buck’s, and his spade-tipped tail flicked. The pink and black flames flickering around him burned down to embers as he held his stomach.
“The fuck is that?” Buck wheezed. “S’that me? S’that supposed to be me!? He looks like the ghost of Hot Topic’s past!”
“HAHAHAH-wha-hey!?” The other Buck said with a spark.
“Where in the world have you been?” Starlight said.
“Fucking guess!” Buck said. “I was getting chased around by her!”
Heart Song strode through a soupy mist, teeth and nails sharpened to needle points. The old outfit, the sinister grin, and the red, feral glint in her eye made her appear as the exact monster Starlight had feared. She’d been humming a soft song, one that made Starlight blink green sparks out of her eyes, but the tune ceased when Heart Song realized she was outnumbered.
Adagio, on the other hand, regarded her copy with eyes as cold as a sharpened knife.
“Did you learn anything about her? Or me?” Adagio said in a voice that sounded like thunder over a black sea. Both Buck and his copy muttered “Holy shit.” under their breaths.
“Uh…shit, they're bizarro magic clones with reverse versions of our personalities!” Buck said, pointing at Heart Song. “That one’s a cock-drunk lunatic!”
“Rude.” Heart Song said.
“How is that any different from normal Adagio?” Starlight said.
“Rude!” Adagio and Heart Song said in unison.
“Pfft-AHAHAHA!” The copy Buck guffawed, slapping his knee. Buck himself tried not to laugh, which got much easier as Adagio turned to him. Her eye swept across him, looking for any sign of harm, and she very nearly reached up to touch his cheeks before she caught herself.
“Did she hurt you?” Adagio said.
“...just my pride.” Buck said, and the look Adagio gave him was so tender and remorseful he forgot where he was. For a half-second, Adagio saw a pink heart bubble out of the top of his head.
Heart Song took a slinking step backward, and with a sizzling crack, a bullet of force shot a hole in the floor next to her feet.
“You actually got some intel! Any idea how to beat them quickly?” Starlight said, her finger smoking.
“Well, uh, they’re running on magic, so I guess we just gotta let them use it up.” Buck said.
“Or take it from them.” Adagio said, grimly eyeing her clone.
“Well, now, I seem to have over-extended a bit. Before we do anything rash, perhaps we could discuss-”
“No,” Adagio said, knuckles going white around the hilt of her rapier. “I’ve clearly got some things I need to work through."
Adagio and Heart Song locked eyes, their bodies tensing at the same time.
“We should take yours first.” Starlight said. “Even with little magic, she’s deadly. Whereas he’s just-”
“An idiot?” The laughter had stopped. 
The copy Buck smoldered at the group, all mirth suddenly lost. Fancies wafted off him like smoke, full of skulls and fangs and black sparks. He crept forward, his teeth lengthening as he growled at Starlight. “Go on. Call me stupid, like you always do. Tell me I’m irresponsible, or incompetent. Tell me how dumb I am for trusting Adagio. Or better yet…why don’t you come over here and SAY IT TO MY FACE!”
A torrent of fire screamed at the trio, but before they could be incinerated, a pane of shimmering blue magic caught the black and red burst. Starlight Glimmer muttered calculations, sweat rolling down her brow. 
“Flash’s Phantom Netitus!” Starlight said. The bubble of force shaped itself into a wavering kite shield, which buckled and cracked as it baked in the flames. Buck put a hand on Starlight’s back, and the shield just barely held against the onslaught.
“Did you just learn that spell?” Adagio said.
“Holy shit, he’s like a fucking backdraft! Can I do that!?” Buck said.
“Now do you get why I was so worried?” Starlight said. “We have to contain this before he burns this whole place down!”
“How are we supposed to finish him if we can’t even close on him?” Adagio said.
“I don’t know! We have no clue how much power Buck actually has!” Starlight said.
Across the flame-licked lobby, Heart Song turned to run. Starlight fired a mana bolt, but it just hit the wall as Adagio’s clone fled.
“We can’t let her get away!” Starlight said.
“But we have to deal with Buck’s insufferable clone!” Adagio said. There was a crack of fear in her voice. “And who knows when the Queen will make an appearance? There’s no time!”
“Let me take ‘im.” Buck said. The ladies looked at him incredulously. “I don’t want to deal with her. She’s got some of my mana.”
“Buck, you didn’t-” Adagio started.
“We cuddled, just for a bit! It was…it was nice.” Buck said.
“Of course.” Starlight groaned.
“I can’t watch you guys beat on her, so let me handle this guy.” Buck said.
“Do you have any idea what you’re doing?” Starlight said.
“Do you?” Buck said.
"Heh." Starlight chuckled. She glanced at Stygian's Spellbook on the ground near the copy Buck's feet, then shook her head and zoomed off after Heart Song.
“Are y’all buds now? What’d I miss?” The copy Buck said.
“Hol’ up, hol’ up! I’ll get to you in a sec!” Buck said, and for some odd reason, the copy shrugged and crossed his arms, impatiently tapping his foot instead of charging in.  
“Buck, about your pink aura…it’s, ah…uhm…” Adagio stammered. 
“It’s not intimacy. That’s just a trigger. It’s what that intimacy makes me feel.” Buck said. He tenderly tucked a lock of hair behind Adagio’s ear while she shuddered with shock. A soft pink light flashed through her, and some color returned to her hair.
“Goan. I’ll hold him off.” Buck said.
“You’re still angry at me,” Adagio said.
“If we make it out of here, we need to have a serious talk.” Buck said.
“...I know.” Adagio said. She turned to go, but Buck caught her wrist; gently, but firmly.
“Promise me.” Buck said, and Adagio shivered, unable to face him.
“I am going to come back and save you. And when we’re finished here, we’ll have our talk. I promise.” Adagio said. Another pulse of pink, with a spark of red.
“Good,” Buck said. 
"Try to keep that book intact." Adagio ran off, and Buck let her.
“You mean this book? The book of stygie spells, or whatever the fuck? This book right here?” Buck’s clone said, twirling the tome on his finger.
“Yeah, that’s the one.” Buck muttered, watching Adagio turn the corner. She’d already taught him what to do here. Acknowledge the emotion. Heat the pot. “Not a pot, this time. A pan. Like the way Ma does the roux at Christmas. Brown it, don’t burn it…Cain’t be more complicated than makin’ gumbo.”
“Damn, you look like...you good, man?” The clone said.
Buck turned to his clone, and with a flicker of flame, the blue streak in his mulberry hair was joined by a blazing pink one. He touched the scarf around his neck, which smoldered with a loving pink light. He remembered Ditzy’s smile, and his eyes started to water.
“Naw. But I think I’m starting to get it.” Buck said. “Now…how do you wanna do this?”





“Let…me…go! Let me go!” is what Scootaloo would have said if her mouth wasn’t pasted shut by a slimy loogie.
What she managed to do instead was thrash around on her perch, which happened to be Gregor the changeling’s shoulder. He was holding her skateboard in the other hand. Scootaloo was facing upward, and as she struggled to get free, she saw the green, people-filled cocoons in the pantry were also hanging here in the bustling kitchen. None of them had Sunburst in them.
Beneath her panic, Scootaloo was starting to wonder if getting menaced, bound, and slung around in a hostile situation was starting to awaken something in her.
A sapphic voice in the back of Scootaloo’s mind seductively purred at her to dye her hair and buy a choker. It was faint against the panicked pounding of her heart.
Gregor hissed something to another spindly drone in a chef’s hat, who indicated with some low chirps and a tilt of the head where to take his hostage. 
At least, that’s what Scootaloo thought was going on. She was struggling to believe that she’d screwed up so badly, so fast. She couldn’t turn into a liability; she’d only gotten started at this whole super-heroing thing, and she was not about to get turned into food before she even got her license, or degree, or whatever the hell Sunburst had!
Gregor the changeling pitched forward, stumbling at bit as Scootaloo thrashed on his shoulder. He shut his eyes and repeated “Sorry.” in Starlight’s voice.
Remember what Buck said to you! She tried to remember how it felt, when he was looking into her eyes and telling her that she could do it, and that her butt is cute and, and his hands were on her shoulders, and they were firm and…Scootaloo felt a strange, fluttering warmth in her stomach. There was a soft buzzing noise, like the murmur of a dragonfly’s wings.
She shut her eyes. She needed to get this gunk off her and make a break for it. What had she learned from Starlight? The equation, right? B over D plus SM? No, now you’re panicking and horny! Think!
Hanging pots rattled surreptitiously around the kitchen. None of the drones seemed to notice as they went about their business.
And now Scootaloo was thinking about that game night, when Buck and Adagio had totally turned her out. The feeling of being wanted, and touched and…used, it mixed with her need to feel seen. To have someone look at her like a cut of juicy steak. Who said she was pretty.
Buck and Adagio…they were the only people in her life that made her feel like a girl. And they were around here somewhere, and they needed her help!
The butterflies in Scootaloo’s stomach all flapped at once. The dragonfly buzz escalated to the frantic beat of a flock of doves. Drones turned to charge as they saw the goop restraining Scootaloo’s limbs and mouth inflate like snot bubbles. 
Pop!
Scootaloo had hoped to catapult herself into the air and soar away like a radical eagle. What she accomplished instead was exploding her goopy bonds. Bedlam erupted across the kitchen as a bunch of only mostly intact changelings went flying along with a sudden burst of kitchenware.
Greg was on his back, trying to shake the stars from his eyes as his fellows shuddered into the air on buzzing wings. Scootaloo was hanging onto the side of a cocoon, held up by a knife she’d pulled from her sports bra.
Somehow, she had her skateboard in her other hand.
“Okay, cool! Okay, cool!” Scootaloo said in the place of a snappy one-liner. She was trying to think of what Daring Do would say in this situation when she jerked downward. The cocoon slid open, revealing a disheveled woman with greenish-gray skin and dark purple hair, who flopped unconsciously toward the floor some twelve feet down.
“Not cool, not cool!” Scootaloo dropped, sliding her skateboard beneath her feet just in time to bounce off the head of the first drone, catch the falling damsel, then slide down the back of another drone before depositing her in a sink and rolling across a kitchen counter. She was jamming, hitting the lip of the counter with a slick grind and she could feel the wind pushing on her back, fluttering like a hummingbird and the door was right there, but so was Greg, looking sad but determined, but Scoots was going too fast to stop, and it was all she could do to ollie over his head!
Greg leaped up, but he couldn’t quite reach, and suddenly Scootaloo’s skateboard was on carpet. A rush of joy and excitement flooded Scootaloo’s brain. Despite the cast on her foot, Scootaloo could always get going on her board, all she had to do was balance and kick!
There was chaos in the kitchen behind her; the drones weren’t even paying attention now. They were scrambling to clean and collect the human Scoots had freed. Greg was looking at her, and Scootaloo knew he would just chase her again, but his eyes were so incredibly sad that she stopped for just a second.
“...you don’t want to do this, do you?” Scootaloo said.
“Evil. Family, evil. It came from evil!” Greg said, his voice shifting to Starlight’s bark from earlier.
“Well, uhm, uh…” Scootaloo’s adrenaline-blasted mind searched for a quip. “Maybe…you should get some friends?”
Boom!
A cacophonous explosion shook the hive. From way down a corridor, Scootaloo saw a pink flash. She knew only two people in the world could cause a candy-colored explosion, and Pinkie Pie wasn't here. Scootaloo zoomed down the hall without a moment's hesitation.





Meanwhile, a few halls down, Queen Chrysalis sat at her vanity mirror. Her serpentine eyes narrowed at a little greenish-black pebble pinched between her ragged talons. It was another piece of her new empire, practically gift-wrapped, though damaged. She tensed with coiled focus, and a green phantom of her notched horn flickered uselessly atop her head. The cracks in the changeling stone refused to knit shut.
“It’s pointless without a potent source.” Chrysalis groaned. “I should have taken more from that peon.”
Her stomach growled. Pathetic. The Queen of the Changelings wondered dimly if this was how that ghoulish bottomfeeder Adagio felt at all times, starving bitterly in a dim world. She saw her own sallow cheeks, her thin neck. She could see her ribcage, even through the nightgown.
“Are you truly any better?” Adagio said, through the Queen’s mouth. “As a matter of fact, what exactly are you the Queen of? A putrid hive of degenerating sludge? Are you the queen of getting captured and only escaping due to dumb luck? The Queen of mutinous children?”
Chrysalis snatched a photo of Adagio Dazzle from her mirror and tore it cathartically in two. 
“These hunger pangs will pass. All I have to do is follow my plan.” Chrysalis said, to one of many photos of Buck ringing her mirror. 
“The changelings will be reborn, and this world will be the staging ground for my-”
A curt knock on the door straightened The Queen’s back. Chrysalis focused once more, but on a task far more essential than fixing the changeling stone.
A green flash blinkered on her head, and in its wake sat her crown; a set of delicate curling antennae.
“Come in.” Chrysalis hissed.
A pair of drones waddled in, pulling a rack of dusty purple dresses for the Queen’s perusal. They were followed by Silver Spoon, who was scribbling notes on a clipboard.
“Didn’t I tell you to get out of that ridiculous disguise?” Queen Chrysalis growled.
“I…well, I d-d-don’t know! It makes me feel k-kind of…smart?”
“Take it off.”
“B-b-but…”
Queen Chrysalis lifted a plum-colored fur coat and tore it in half. The drone impersonator dropped its disguise. 
“Have our guests finished arriving?” Chrysalis said, tossing a billowing lavender shawl over her shoulder. 
“Yes, my Queen. They are in the lobby, fighting with the dopplegangers. They are making a real m-m-mess of the place! Are you sure we shouldn’t-”
“Let them tire themselves out. It’s not as if any of them can stop me now. How fares our guest of honor? I trust you haven’t scratched a hair on his head.”
It was more of a threat than a question. The drones all gulped in unison, then one of them gagged on its own spit and started coughing.
“He is well rested, but running from his keeper. She may have attacked him, my Queen.”
“That treacherous little sea slug. No one else is to touch him.” The Queen hissed. She raised a claw, but though the drones all cringed, it came down on another dress. A long, royal purple off-the-shoulder affair suddenly found its hemline a few feet short with a ragged tear. “Put that bodice on me.”
“Uh, what?”
 	Chrysalis pointed at a black leather corset on the tip of her bed, and no sooner had the drone lifted it did the Queen’s nightgown slip to the floor.
“I’ll let them tire themselves out. Have our forces watch, but not engage. If the fools aren’t dead in the next ten minutes, I’ll go collect them myself. Do not make a move without my orders.” Chrysalis said.
“My Queen, are you sure it’s wise to underestimate them?”
“I’m taking every precaution,” Chrysalis said. The corset strings tightened, accentuating her already ludicrous hourglass shape. The purple dress, now slashed to expose a generous helping of thigh, hugged the Queen’s hips.
“More importantly, is the ballroom ready?”
“J-J-Just about, your highness. There was a disturbance in the kitchen, but it seems to have passed.”
“Excellent. Now leave me to my final preparations.”
“At your command, my Queen.”
“Oh. And if you ever question my orders again, I’ll tear your wings off with my bare hands. Do I make myself clear?”
“...Y-Y-Y-Yes your highness!” The drone said.
“Dismissed.”
The drones scrambled out of the bedroom. Chrysalis sat down at her mirror and idly brushed her matted, mossy tresses.
She smiled at Buck’s picture, humming a soft, sinister tune.





Starlight Glimmer zoomed down the halls of the hive, carried by a sparkling blue aura. The clone had fled, but the strange mist she kicked up followed in her wake. Starlight tried to push down the things she'd learned: how her Equestrian counterpart was a respected powerhouse, and how Sunburst was keeping secrets, instead focusing on how to take down the clone she was chasing. It was every bit the monster she expected Adagio to be, but if it was the reverse of her, what did that say about Adagio herself?
Starlight's aura flickered, and she dropped a foot toward the floor.
"Focus…don't lose control!"
This was a monster, just like any other. It needed to be caught before it could cause any harm. Same old strategy. Corner, neutralize, capture. 
Justice.
Starlight turned a corner and found a hallway shrouded in fog. An obvious trap. With narrowed eyes and a cocky smile, Starlight reached into her pockets and entered the fog.
From inside the doors lining the hall came a series of faint squeaks. The taps turned, filling the bathroom sinks with steaming water. The fog in the hallway thickened.
"Poor little Starlight, always rushing into danger with something to prove…" Heart Song said over Starlight's shoulder.
A twitch of the arm shot a twisting bolt of energy through the mist, hitting nothing.
"You and I both know you're no hero. All you've ever been is a mouthy little nuisance. Why bother fighting?" 
Starlight fired a gattling burst of mana bolts. A shadow in the mist evaporated, and the bolts peppered a nearby wall.
"Stop hiding, you creep! Come out and fight me!" Starlight said.
“Why would I do that?” Heart Song said.
A finger stroked the back of Starlight's neck. She spun, and with a shout, she sent a twirling spiral of mana bolts that seared the floor, the ceiling, and the walls on either side. Her breaths came out heavy; her little remaining aura flickering like a dying bulb.
"After all, we make an excellent team. I can give you what you really want; a chance to show up my pathetic copy. Let me sing you a little song to calm you down, and then we can talk."
The mist twisted into a legion of grasping hands, which snatched Starlight by the arms and legs.
And suddenly, Heart Song was there, eyes glowing green. Her arms opened wide as a soft, seductive chorus drifted from her lips. 
Starlight struggled, but then she stumbled into a sway, her head bobbing along with Heart Song's melody.
"All too easy." Heart Song said.





A warm wave of pink energy rolled off Buck’s shoulders, while his demonic clone grinned menacingly, a veritable bonfire of black flame.
“God, this is so embarrassing…okay, I’ll bite. What the fuck is your problem?” Buck said.
“They killed my best bro!” The clone said. 
“Shit, they made one of Sunburst? Wait, what do you care? Aren’t you like the opposite of me?”
“Yeah? So what? He was my only friend in the world!”
“Damn, that’s real. Even in this hellhole, the love between bros is real.”
“Whatever! Run hands!” The clone threw a ball of crackling black flame. Buck crossed his arms, and the fire petered out an inch from his face.
“Huh.” Buck said. “Look, we don’t need to do this. If you’re like me, you know that fighting is just playing into the Queen’s hands.”
“Blah, blah, blah, we don’t need to do this, lookit me, my name’s Purple Prose, I’m a fuckin’ woobie who loves fighting games but never wants to run hands because I’m a wussy lil’ bitch!” The clone said. “How ‘bout you take a cue from your old teachers, and actually fucking focus for once? I’ve got something you want!” 
It was like a cold needle in the side of Buck’s neck.
“Fuck off.” Buck said, gravely. His aura wavered.
Buck lunged for the book, but his copy ducked away with a snicker.
“What’re you gonna do if I burn this book, huh? You gonna get mad? You gonna cry?” The clone said.
“Why do you even want it? S’not like we can read it.” Buck said.
“I can read, asshole!” The clone grumbled, pausing to scan the contents of the book.
“...it’s in old-”
“It’s in Old Ponish, I can see that!” The clone snarled. “Bro was really making a big deal outta this thing. It’s gotta have some crazy secrets, like how to magically expand dong.”
Buck went for the book again, but the copy slapped his hand away. The black flames on his body were smoldering down. Buck squinted at him incredulously.
“Why the fuck would you need to know that? What, they take you out the oven too early? Comin’ up a lil’ short?”
“Shut your ass up!” The clone said. Another burst of black. To Buck, it felt like stepping into a sauna. Buck reached for the book, and as his copy pulled it away, he slapped the bottom of the book and caught it.
“Dude, keepaway’s not gonna work. We got the same arms.” Buck said. “What’s this bully act about?”
“To trick you into getting close, dumbass!” The clone said, grabbing Buck’s wrist. The pain was immense. Buck caught the clone with a flailing kick and backed up, trying to shake the black flames off his arm. 
“Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Buck shouted, 
“Hahahahah! Hot enough for you?” The clone said.
“It’s cold! Wait, it’s cold?” And Buck closed his eyes, and thought of laying in bed with Ditzy, and of Dinky between them, sprawled out in that way only kids can do and still manage to sleep.
The black flames fizzled. An outline of shining pink returned, and Buck’s arm started feeling warm again.
“Why’s your aura all dark and cold?” Buck said. He slipped Stygian’s spellbook into his jacket’s inner pocket.
“I dunno, why’s yours all pink and girly?” The clone shrugged.
“What’s wrong with pink?”
“People’ll think you look gay!” A jab, a hook from the clone, but Buck ducked around them with a smile.
“Well, you look like a Todd Macfarlane wet dream!” Buck laughed. A sudden burst of pink smacked his clone in the back of the head, knocking him to the floor with a sizzling thud.
“Pink is rad! Goes good with black, it works hot or cold, no matter what the season, and it’s a great accent to anything more subdued.” Buck said. Keep him talking, keep him talking! “You forget what you learned at the Carousel Boutique?”
Buck’s clone got up slowly.
“Ughh…You mean how to hold a girl up with just your forearm and your fingers in her-”
“Alright, alright!” Buck said, flashing red at the memory. “So, do you have a name?”
“It’s Buck. I’m you!” The clone said.
“No, no you’re not, I’m me! I get the bit, but what do we call you?” Buck said.
“Man, I dunno, how about Shin Buck?”
“How ‘bout Wabuck?”
“How about Dark Buck?”
“How ‘bout Joe?”
“Joe what?”
“Joe Mama!”
“YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” Buck’s clone roared, and a spike of stone shot out of the floor at Buck’s feet. Not wood, or carpet, but whatever was underneath. It glowed like a poker, hot to the touch as Buck ducked out of the way, but another came, then another and another.
“Stand…still!” The clone said. 
A spike tore a hole in Buck’s jacket, another nearly did the same to his rib cage, but he rolled out of the way. He saw a line of those spikes cross the room before they bulldozed the threshold of a nearby hallway.
“Holy shit! Cut that out, you’re gonna hurt somebody!” Buck said.
“That’s the idea, you stupid fuck! You’re always doin’ this Spider-Man shtick! Why can’t we just have a normal fight scene for once!?” The clone said, coming in swinging.
“I don’t even wanna fight you!” Buck said. Pink and black flames sparked off his arms as he tried to intercept his copy’s blows. Buck shoved his copy away, then scrambled out of arms’ reach.
“Why the fuck not!?” The clone said.
“Because it’s stupid! If you’d chill out for a half-second-”
“I ain't got no chill! I've got a whole shit ton of unresolved tension and I need someone to take it out on!" The clone stomped the floor, and the whole world tilted.
Buck had another glib response, but suddenly he fell forward, his clone's fist smashed into his cheek, and then he was rolling, kicking, trying to fend off his own strength and stamina. 
His clones' eyes blazed red with unchecked malice as he wrestled Buck to the ground. It was like trying to grapple an angry furnace, but that didn’t make sense in Buck’s head. Wasn’t it cold just now?
"Hey, hey, hey, turn down the stove, huh? They got hostages in here, and we can't conjure up a firetruck!" Buck said.
"Can you conjure up a shit? Because I don't GIVE A SHIT!"
Buck's head rocked to the side again. He tasted hot blood. 
"Fuck, man, I gotta learn how to throw a punch!" Buck laughed, then grunted as his clone pinned him.
"Joke all you want! Only one of us is getting out of here, and it's gonna be me!”
Black flames raged down the clones’ arms and over Buck, filling him with agony. It felt like his ribcage was getting melted in the microwave.
“GAAGH!” Buck screamed. 
“You're a fucking pussy who's scared to do what he wants, but I'm different! I'm gonna get out there and tell Mrs. Cake to shove it, and I'm gonna finish your shitty drafts and get them sold! I’ll build a better life than you’ve ever had!” 
Buck could feel his blood boiling like the very veins of the earth; his heart a burning caldera. Pink switched to red as he screamed.
“But first…I'm gonna go to your shit stain apartment, and I'm going to fuck your girlfriend's brains out!"
Buck’s world went white.
He'd spent his whole life compartmentalizing, but in that instant, he knew he'd burn the whole world down to protect Ditzy Doo. Especially from himself.
"You want my life? Fine, we'll roshambo for it." Buck said, golden eyes turning red.
"What, like rock, paper, scissors?"
"I'll go first." Buck said, and then in an explosion of red, he kicked his clone in the nuts so fucking hard it flew across the room and crashed into the grand staircase.





"Starlight, there you are!" Adagio said.
The mist in the hallway had lowered to the floor. Adagio harumphed and a path cleared through the fog for her to pass. Starlight stood at the far end of the hall, her back to Adagio. She had a wooden spear in her hand; one she must have pulled up from the floorboards. 
"When will you learn to stop running off alone like some blustering glory hog?" Adagio lectured.
"Oh, I've learned plenty about you, Adagio Dazzle. I've studied your case file extensively.” Starlight said, turning slowly. Her pale blue eyes were filled with fury. “I've watched you slither your way into everyone's good graces, but I’ve always known what you are. And I know how to take you down."
“Ah.” Adagio said. “Right, she’s gotten into your head. After all-”
“It’s what you would do!” Starlight shouted.
Adagio barely managed to swat Starlight’s spear tip away with her rapier. She’d closed the distance instantly. Was that teleportation? Adagio couldn’t tell.
“You spend all your time poking at people from arm’s length! Well I can do it too!”
A flurry of jabs forced Adagio back. She silently parried, eyes roaming over Starlight’s shoulder as the spear came for her heart. There were lines in the walls and the ceiling where Starlight’s bolts had hit. 
“I saw your fight with Ditzy! You like toying with people until they get too angry to think straight! But she still beat you, and so will I!”
“Yes, yes, you have something to prove. I’m a big bad monster and you’re the heroic knight that’s going to slay me and saaave the kingdom.” Adagio said, rolling her eyes with a wry smile, but Starlight’s strikes were relentless. Although Adagio would never admit it, she was getting worn down.
Suddenly, Adagio lost her footing. A hand formed of mist grabbed her ankle mid-step, and she stumbled down to one knee.
“We came out here to work together, but all you’ve done is get Sunburst captured and put Buck in danger, and all because you refuse to acknowledge what’s right in front of your face!”
Behind Adagio, one of the suite doors slowly opened. Heart Song slunk out of the shadows unseen, five needles of ice extending from her nails.
Starlight’s spear came down in a heavy vertical swing, forcing Adagio back down before she could rise. Their noses were nearly touching.
“He’s more than just a tool to you. And you’re more than just a monster.” Starlight whispered.
“You’re both a couple of fools,” Heart Song hissed, raising her icy claw to rip Adagio’s throat out.
“Fooled you, didn’t we?” Adagio ducked.
Wham! Starlight’s spear cracked across Heart Song’s face, and she stumbled into the wall, where a crude rune lit up. Tendrils of magical force wrapped around her with a snap, restraining her to the wall. Then another circle lit on the ceiling, then one on the floor, both webbing her up further. Heart Song began to sing again, but a swift strike from Adagio’s pommel shut her up.
“Ah-ah! No singing, now.” Adagio said. “Now, how did you manage to slip out of her enchantment?”
“What?” Starlight said, pulling a pair of foam plugs out of her ears.
“I have to hand it to you, that’s clever.” Adagio said, hand on her hip.
“Did you think I was bluffing about knowing how to take you down?” Starlight said, but then she dropped to one knee, sucking in breath. That gambit had cost her a lot of mana, and she was clearly spent.
“I take it you have more contingencies to beat me?”
“You’re too dangerous for just one.” Starlight smirked.
“I don’t like how much fun you’re having.” Adagio said.
“Tough. Now, how are we going to deal with this one?” Starlight said.
“All I have to do is drain her mana, and she’ll be nothing but a bad memory.” Adagio said.
And it’s as simple as that, Adagio thought as he lifted her arms. This thing was just a simple changeling spell, and all she had to do was hold her nose and gulp it down. It had just managed to trick Buck; it hadn’t given anything away, and even if it had, we didn’t need to address that, because its traitorous little mouth was about to be shut forever.
Those were the thoughts running through Adagio’s head as she drank of her clone’s energy. She watched the cheeks on her own mirror image turn sallow, her hair crinkle as it turned gray, and all the while, even as her hands and knees shook, she felt her dread turn to cold despair and then to hate. 
It was the same energy that Minuette had forced down her throat, coming from her own likeness. She could never bear to see this in the mirror, and she hated having to look at it now. Or perhaps, she thought, she hated the possibility that Buck could ever see her this way.
Adagio felt frostbite numbing her lips, and for a moment, she looked away from the spiteful hag she held in her own heart.
"You…what did you tell him?" Adagio murmured.
"Only what he wanted to hear!" Heart Song said.
An operatic shriek blasted Starlight across the hall. Her head struck a door frame, and she lay still. The snare spell blinked out. Adagio hit a wall hard, but she didn’t have time to cover her ringing ears. As Heart Song came at her with another warbling scream, Adagio fired back with her own song.
Light fixtures shattered across the hall, and the wallpaper ripped in waves as twin sonic blasts clashed. Adagio’s heels tore into the carpet as she dug in, trying to stay on her feet.
Adagio knew this power, had seen it, had been made to taste it, and she knew what she needed to beat it. Buck had touched her with a raw, unrestrained tenderness that burned in her throat like cinnamon whiskey. She felt tears on her cheeks as she inhaled a second time. It felt so right to have a piece of Buck’s love inside her; it was a tragedy to let it go.
Adagio’s scream turned into a pure, pitch-perfect note, and in a pink flash, she overwhelmed her clone’s unfiltered hate and blasted her through a suite door. Adagio wiped the wetness from her face as she strode through the splinters, sword drawn. 
“Don’t bother hiding. You and I both know how this has to end.” Adagio said, stepping around the bed. The closet doors crashed open.
“I’ll make him mine!” Heart Song screeched, half-mad as she raked a set of icy claws across Adagio’s back. “He named me! I looked into his eyes and saw love for the first time, and I won’t let you take him away from me!”
Adagio’s steel flashed through Heart Song’s side, but the clone grabbed the blade with one hand and pulled Adagio closer, trying desperately to tear the siren’s carotid with her teeth. Here was the monster that had killed Adagio’s mother in childbirth, and the triumphant sorceress that had torn the G.G.A.A. to the ground, and the loathsome witch that had left thousands of bodies in the wake of her crusade for fame and adoration.
“You’re obsessed!” Adagio said.
She slapped Heart Song across the face with a resounding palm strike, and as the beast fell, she ripped her sword out of its guts. There was no blood, just a greasy smear on the blade. Heart Song lunged from the floor, forcing Adagio to dodge around a berserk flurry of scratches.
“I am you! I’m the you that sails away while other ships sink! I’m the one that protects you and gives you the cold focus to win! And you’ve abandoned me, in favor of some feckless man who will never forgive you for using him like the tool he is!”
“Shut up!” Adagio screamed.
Heart Song threw a pillow at her, then a lamp on the nightstand as she fled, but though Adagio blocked one and took the other to the face, she still managed to slash the back of Heart Song’s knee with the tip of her blade.
“You’re nothing but a feeble copy! You don’t know anything about me!” Adagio said, raising her blade to finish the job.
“I know you’re afraid to let him in.” Heart Song said, turning to face Adagio. “Buck loves you, and he can see right through you. And you are terrified that if he looks at you for too long, if he understands you, he won’t turn away like the others.” Heart Song said, and Adagio Dazzle, despite everything, stopped to listen.
Adagio didn’t notice that mist was seeping out from under the bathroom door. The tap was on and rushing, the steam slithering like a snake, collecting and rising behind Heart Song’s back.
“What you truly fear is what will happen if he stays. You’ve heard it. You’ve seen it and felt it. Who will Adagio Dazzle be if she lets Buck into her heart?” 
“Tell me.” Adagio choked out.
“You’ll be the same black hole of affection you always were. And you’ll regret eating the only man who ever dared to love you without compromise.” Heart Song said.
The mist reared up like a cobra. Adagio saw it take the shape of her true siren form as it lashed for her throat.
Crack!
A blue bolt of mana tore through Heart Song’s torso. The copies’ spell fizzled, as she slumped motionless to the floor.
“I guess you can shoot a gun with empathy, after all.” Starlight Glimmer said from the hall. 
"What?" Adagio said.
"Has anyone ever told you, you talk too much?" Starlight blew on her smoking finger, then slid down the wall, her ass hitting the carpet with a soft thump. Her legs had given out.
“Everyone's a critic today.” Adagio said, stabbing her clone through the heart for good measure before stepping over her. “But genuinely, thank you.”
“You, thanking me? Are you sure you’re not the clone?” Starlight chuckled, her eyelids drooping. She was clearly exhausted, and Adagio could hardly blame her.
“Oh, shut up. Do you need help?”
“I need a nap. It’s not fair that Buck got to take a cuddle break while the rest of us were out here fighting for our lives.”
“Don’t remind me. Now get up, we need to get back to him before that creature scorches something valuable.” 
“Like Stygian’s spell book?” Starlight said, as Adagio offered her a hand up.
“Like Buck’s adorable little behind. Come on.” Adagio said, rolling her eyes.
“HE’S MINE!” Heart Song screamed. 
The clone grabbed a fistful of Adagio’s hair, fueled by a singular, possessive hatred. She pulled the rapier from its sheath and flung it from the room, and then she and Adagio were struggling and scratching. It was a painful, bloody scrap lacking any form of elegance or showmanship, the pair screaming at each other like wild alley cats as they slammed through the bathroom door.
The sink was full by now, hot water pouring onto the floor.
“You’ll never get to keep him! He’ll hate you for using him, and he’ll never forgive you! Give him to me! Give him to me!” Heart Song screeched.
“Get off me you wretched freak!” Adagio said. Her arm flailed, dragging the shower curtain down onto Heart Song’s head, but the water drops that act of violence kicked up sharpened as they flew through the air, slicing Adagio’s arms and shoulders.
“You made me this way!” Heart Song wailed. A desperate scratch raked Adagio once more, but the siren struck with a closed fist. Heart Song’s head cracked into the mirror, and she dropped down, only remaining upright by grabbing the countertop. Heart Song was weeping, spitting blood and teeth onto the floor. 
Adagio knew what had to be done. She saw herself in the mirror, looming murderously over herself, and wondered how long she’d see this in her nightmares.
The water on the floor suddenly rose as whipping tendrils, one of which tore across Adagio’s thigh.
“You’ll never be rid of me! Never!” Heart Song’s near-skeletal face screamed. She was starting to resemble a twisted version of Queen Chrysalis; a starving ghoul that wanted nothing more than to devour any affection that came its way. Adagio finally understood the comparison Starlight had made. 
It sickened her.
Heart Song was coming for her throat again, but she was shaky and sluggish now. Adagio twisted the doppelganger’s arm behind its back with a crack, then she slammed its head against the mirror once, twice, three times as glass shards rained down. Adagio caught a snarl of withering gray hair and pushed Heart Song’s face into the sink water.
She couldn’t dare to look at herself in the mirror as the clone’s feet kicked and slipped on the wet floor, her free hand flailing, her gargling screams muffled by the water until finally with one last rattling shudder, Heart Song was still. Adagio let the body fall to the ground.
It was a demon. A demon that had grown in her heart for centuries, and only now could Adagio see it, its face caught in an endless snarl as it lay dead. 
She stumbled out of the bathroom but only made it to the threshold before falling to her knees.





Starlight Glimmer had finally dragged herself to her feet. She saw Adagio doubled over and wailing. She saw the body. She remembered Ditzy Doo, all those years ago, and then suddenly, she felt like the whole world had changed.
Starlight Glimmer dropped to her knees, and she took Adagio Dazzle in her arms and squeezed her. There was nothing to be said. Starlight sat there, cradling her most hated enemy in her arms because she knew it was the right thing to do.
This too, was justice.





The green glow of the dusty lobby was displaced by shadowy flames, clashing with flashes of pink. Buck had forced back his clone, but he was back on his feet. Now, every wild strike the doppelganger threw was blasted forward by a burst of black fire, tinged with red. Buck remembered Burnt Oak and how he had only escaped that zombie with Ditzy and Scoot’s help. 
Now, he was alone, and the monster had his face. 
What would Ditzy do? She’d fight. All his friends would fight, even Sunburst, but Buck didn’t want anyone to get hurt, even this…thing.
Wham! Buck barely blocked a blow with his shoulder, and though he was shrouded in pink embers, the stinging lick of the black flames was like dry ice on his skin.
“Hah! Caught you dissociating, didn’t I!?” Buck’s clone said. “What’s wrong, Purple Prose? You scared to throw a real punch!?” The clone said. “Or are you overthinking this whole mess like you do everything else?
“Naw, I was thinking I’d call you Mean Buck, because you’re giving Regina George energy!” Buck said, rushing in.
“Oh, fuck you!” Mean Buck said.
“It’s canon, now.” Buck laughed. He saw black fire gathering on his clone’s tongue and only managed to strike his chin with an uppercut at the last second.
“FUCK YOU!” A bomb blast erupted on the ceiling, burning a hole through a few floors and then straight through the roof.
Shit, Buck thought, he can do it, too!
“If you’re Spider-Man, then I’m your Venom! I’m gonna take everything from you!” Mean Buck said.
Buck dodged a punch, then took a backhand to the chin. The clone’s aura roared as it clashed with his own.
“That doesn’t even make sense, Venom’s not a clone! You’re more like The Scarlet Spider!”
“What, because I have a cooler look?”
“I was gonna say because you’re overdramatic.” Buck said. A pink spark smashed across Mean Buck’s face. “Obnoxious.” Another, this time striking the other cheek. “And hard to take seriously!” A pink phantom fist uppercut the clone, sending him sprawling. 
“Fuuuck you!” Mean Buck said with a blazing swing. A nearby chunk of wall exploded.
“Stop that! This isn’t Dragonball; throwing fire around isn’t going to fix anything! You’re gonna open a rift or some shit!” Buck said, but he just barely ducked another gout of black flame.
“That’s just an excuse to keep your mouth shut! All you do is give space to others! You let them talk shit, you let them walk all over you, you stay on the defensive, and for what!? So you can pack it all in, smother your fire so no one can see it! But you’re not a candle; you’re a bubbling pot. And you know what happens when you leave a covered pot to boil.”
“Yeah, you ruin your gumbo.”
“You get Me!” Mean Buck’s voice boomed, and black flame erupted from his back like spreading wings as he rocketed forward.
“Focus…” Buck whispered. He saw Ditzy in his mind, one eye on the TV as she stitched a hole in Buck’s jacket. He saw her baking, and he saw his own arms slide around her waist. But then he felt another pair of hands, one sliding up his chest, and another sliding down to his crotch, and he knew it wasn’t Ditzy’s.
Another blast of mana rocked the lobby as the two Buck’s clashed.
“You know what your problem is, Buck? You bottle everything up; your thoughts, your feelings, your trauma, and then get mad when nobody understands you!” Mean Buck said. 
Buck could see his clone’s hands were wrapped in a pair of stony gauntlets, like craggy obsidian. The sharp knuckles dug into his palms.
Buck was down to a knee, wincing as his clone’s dark mana fought against his pink glow. The black flame screamed and laughed from the cracks in the gauntlets, ripping into Buck’s arms like bestial mouths.
“Turn it up, turn it up, just a little bit…focus!” Buck muttered. In his mind, he sang to Ditzy Doo in the kitchen, hugging her waist. He sang to Adagio in the same kitchen, and she wrapped her legs around him.
“You put everyone else’s feelings first and then get all emo when you don’t get what you want!” Mean Buck said. He was crying now as he wailed on Buck’s raised arms with his flaming fists. Black and red sparks shot off as Buck blocked the blows, but they were fizzing with a strange purple glow.
Buck had been taught this one as well. He’d seen it on the boardwalk and seen it in himself. 
“‘Cause if you fuck around and let somebody in, folks might see you for the loser you’ve always been!”
Two mana sources, two intentions coming together, mixing violently. Chaos magic. His magic. 
This guy was basically a spell made out of his own unstable magic, like the shoggoth on the Boardwalk. All he needed to do was overpower him in one shot. But how could he do that, knowing his magic could run wild?
“What’s the matter, Purple Prose? Is this gettin’ a lil’ too real for ya!? Come on, fight me! You scared!?” Mean Buck laughed.
Buck saw Ditzy again, but this time, he was looking up at her from between her legs. A hand over her mouth, trying to hold in her squeaking moans as Buck lapped gently at her clitoris. Ditzy’s head was reclining in someone’s lap. Someone whose sharp nails scratched tenderly at her scalp and who licked her lips as she watched Buck work. Someone Buck knew without having to ask would delight in melting his sweet, loving girlfriend down into a quivering, orgasmic bliss.
Buck was ashamed. A fantasy too big to fit in his heart bloomed, threatening to tear it in half. 
“I’m not fucking scared of you!” Buck said, and his voice was like a claymore, blasting his clone away in a chaotic boom. Mean Buck barely stayed on his feet, his hooves smoking as they dug into the carpet. The obsidian armor crawled up his arms, forming a pair of sharp, jagged pauldrons.
“You should be.” Mean Buck sneered.
Over Mean Buck’s shoulder, the unexpected came rolling into the lobby on a beat-up skateboard.
“Buck, holy shit, there you are! I’ve been looking everywhere! Now I know you’re probably still mad at me, but I-”
Mean Buck delivered a cheap, brutal punch to Buck’s gut, then turned to Scootaloo with a lecherous smile. Buck doubled over, wheezing in pain as he stumbled to the floor.
“Hey, cutie.” Mean Buck said. “How you doin’?”
“Wh-what?” Scootaloo peeped. Mean Buck loomed over her, planting a heavy hand on her shoulder. He squeezed her neck briefly, then cupped her chin.
“You really want me to fuck your brains out, don’t you?”
Scootaloo glowed red, but not due to magic. She blinked at Mean Buck deliriously.
“...huh? I! Uh, hey, that’s! That’s embarrassing…! You don’t have to say it like that…what’re you wearing?" Scoots knew this was wrong, somehow, but his hand was so firm, and his voice had that growl in it that she thought of when she was in the shower, and her eyes were hazy with a dark mist.
“You fucking love it, you subby lil’ tomboy. You want me to treat you like one of the boys until we’re all alone. Do I make you feel like a woman, Scoots? You want me to treat you like a woman?”
His tank top and jeans flared into a black pinstripe vest and slacks. There was a blood-red tie and a white rose on his lapel. 
“H-Holy shit, bro. Since when do you like me like that?” Scoots said, shivering. “Why do you look like some kinda…”
“Sex demon?” Mean Buck smirked. His thumb brushed against Scootaloo’s lips, and she almost started to suckle on it. But then she saw Buck, the real one, holding his stomach and gagging.
“...Run, Scoots!” Buck said. He limped forward, but the flames coming off his clone’s back were blazing hot and freezing cold at the same time. His body was wracked with feverish shivers.
“I was planning on breaking Ditzy Doo first, but what the hell? I might as well treat myself to a lil’ lagniappe before the main course.” Mean Buck said. His teeth were sharpening; his tail flicking with perverse delight. Scootaloo kept her eyes on Buck, but she couldn’t seem to move. A strangely cold heat was sliding around her body and up her legs.
“Bro?” Scootaloo tried to say, but it was barely a squeak.
Buck rocketed into a red silhouette. One with long, pointed ears, a pair of slender wings and a proud mane.
“GET OFF HER!”
This was just what Mean Buck was waiting for. The clone pushed Scootaloo away and opened his arms, shrouding himself in dark flame just as Buck blazed at him, a red-hot comet.
An earth-shaking explosion blasted all the snow out of the front door of the Little Snow Drop Inn, and all the windows in the lobby. It shook the whole of the changeling hive. 
Chrysalis heard it, pausing in the midst of her dress-up. 
Adagio and Starlight heard it, and with a nod, they got to their feet. 
It was so loud, Sunburst suddenly awoke in a strange place. 
Outside the Inn, a small canary witnessed the structure shaking and strobing with colors. 
It sat on its branch, watching the events with a strange stillness, then flew off toward the north, as if in a hurry.
  


   

Meanwhile, heavy base beats thudded across a wild audience filling out the Center Park Amphitheater. Fog and lasers filled the air, coordinated expertly with the silent but energetic moves of the woman manning the DJ setup. Her punk hairdo was electric blue, and her mesh top left little to the imagination as she worked up the crowd to a feverish fervor. With her deft hands on her deck and a mad metal mix screaming out of her speakers, she had them eating out of the palm of her hand.
Her name was Vinyl Scratch. This was a small charity concert to help the flagging funding of her old high school, and her set was loud, angry and nostalgic. Her story is sadly irrelevant to our harrowing tale in progress, at least for now, so we’re going to have to move on.
Instead, let’s sweep over the stage and into the crowd, where Lyra Heartstrings was moshing with the fury of a thousand Hot Topic visits. She was sweaty and already a bit sore, but the music was moving her, and the only thing that mattered was having fun. She wished that this was also the case for her date, Bon Bon, who was once again standing on the periphery of the show, checking her phone.
A cloaked figure watched intently from the edge of the crowd. Neither Lyra nor Bon Bon noticed.
It had been hours since Sunbursts’ last message, and Sweetie Drops was remaining as professional as she could. Her phone creaked in her death grip as it pinged with a new text.
“Strange lights at the Inn. Situation may be changing for the worse.” Said the text. Bon Bon’s thumbs tapped frantically.
“Just get the air drop ready and let me know if anything else changes.” A little ellipses bounced at the bottom of the chat. Sweetie Drops cut it off. “They’ll make it. Just be ready.”
Bon Bon glanced at Lyra and saw she was looking back at her, smiling, beckoning, trying as usual to get her to have some fun for once. She smiled ruefully and nodded, but then her phone buzzed again. 
“Your case file is pending review. Amend your evaluation of subjects Adagio Dazzle and Purple Prose and update your progress report at your earliest convenience. Changes to the case may be necessary based on your testimony.” The text read.
This was office code for “You are on thin fucking ice. If you don’t convince us those two walking time bombs can be left alone, we’ll stick them in glass cells and reassign you to a remote location on portal watch.” Sweetie Drops was beyond tired of balancing the fate of Canterlot, these strange magical people, and her career on one finger. She shut her eyes and tried to block out the pounding base and the screaming crowd.
Suddenly, a hand landed on her shoulder. Sweetie Drops turned to see Lyra, and Bon Bon smiled ruefully.
“You should go home.” Lyra said.
“I’m sorry, I’m-” Bon Bon said.
“I get it. I really get it. Your job is really stressful and you want to be here with me! But you can’t right now. What’s going on here isn’t as important as whatever is happening on your phone.” Lyra said. “We can try this again when you actually have time for me.”
“Lyra, I swear I can explain.” Bon Bon started.
“Stop, just stop! You don’t have to. Just go home and do what you have to do.” Lyra said.
As Lyra rejoined the crowd, Sweetie Drops reached into her pocket, wrapping her finger around the replica memory stone inside. 
She envied Bon Bon, a small-town girl who had been in Canterlot all her life, who was taking her first shaky steps into big business, who had a lifelong friend she could depend on. 
Bon Bon was simple, kind, and wanted. Sweetie Drops wanted so desperately to be Bon Bon, without compromise. She squeezed the stone, and not for the first time, she thought hard about using it.
The stone warmed in her pocket, thrumming with power. Sweetie Drops, took a deep breath that did nothing to calm her down, and half-jogged across the street past the clinic. She hadn’t heard from Scootaloo either, and as she refocused on her job, she worried for Ditzy Doo’s safety. Maybe if she just confirmed the girl was okay, she’d be able to rest a little easy. Maybe then she could figure out some way to make it up to Lyra.
“Just don’t drop the plates, Sweetie, just don’t drop the plates!” Sweetie Drops mumbled, fighting tears as she rounded a corner. What happened next wasn’t really her fault. Accidents happen, especially when you’re stressed and not looking where you’re going.
Sweetie Drops turned a corner and slammed into another person, barreling them over onto the pavement. When Bon Bon stopped seeing stars, she recognized Ditzy Doo sprawled out on the ground, groaning as she picked herself up.
“Ugghhh…” Ditzy said.
“Huh? Oh. Oh, uh…” What would Bon Bon say, Sweetie Drops thought. “Oh, Ditzy! Is that you? Holy moly, I didn’t mean to bowl you over like that!”
“Bon Bon? It’s been years!” Ditzy Doo said, helping her old acquaintance to her feet. 
“Are you hurt? I really knocked you down, there!”
“No, no, I’m okay. Happens all the time!” Ditzy said.
“How have you been?”
What are you doing, Sweetie Drops thought.
“Me? I’m great! Everythings-everything’s good! Uh, how are you?”
“Things are…complicated. I’ve actually been going to therapy lately, which really has helped, but, uh…well. I don’t want to get into it. But hey, I didn’t know you were still in town! We should get together sometime!”
What are you doing!? You’re supposed to maintain a professional distance! Sweetie Drops thought.
“Sure, sure we should! Uh, do you still have my old number?” Bon Bon said.
“I do! Is it still the same?” Ditzy said.
“It sure is!” Bon Bon said.
“Okay, then I’ll call you! Hey, how’s Lyra doing, by the way? Are you two still together?” Ditzy said.
“Together? What do you mean?” Sweetie Drops said. Ditzy blushed.
“Oh, uh, I didn’t mean to-uh, everyone just kinda assumed that you, uh, nevermind!”
“Oookay, well, I kind of have to get going. But do call me later! We’ve got a lot to catch up on!” Bon Bon said, taking off with a friendly wave. She was around the next corner in seconds. Ditzy’s eye caught the glint of something that had hit the sidewalk in the crash.
“Wait, you dropped something! Uh…huh.” Ditzy said. “Hasn’t changed; that girl’s always on the move!”
Ditzy stooped down, nearly losing her balance all over again, and plucked an odd trinket from the sidewalk. It was an oval-shaped stone something-or-other, with some odd lines carved into the surface and a eye-like mark on the front.
“Now, what in the world is…wait. Wait, I’ve seen this before. This is that thingy that Starlight used to…”
And Ditzy’s innocent concern turned into a conspiratorial squint. She glanced around and didn’t see anyone watching. Then, she slipped the memory stone between the first two buttons on her blouse, hiding it in her ample cleavage.
The sun was just starting to dip below the city’s skyline as Ditzy walked away, filling the streets with lengthening shadows. From the deepening dark of a nearby alleyway, the cloaked figure from the concert watched Ditzy turn a corner, then followed her with silent menace.





It was like a flaming monochrome kaleidoscope had taken over the lobby. Screaming faces twisted in the pillar of flame.
Scoots was never really one for reading; she’d read the occasional Daring Doo book, and a bunch of tutorials online about proper running form, but this reminded her of something out of a Lovecraft story. Or at least what Buck and Sunburst had described. 
Her mind was reeling, especially since she’d just seen Buck in some sort of evil business suit, and she finally understood that neuron activation meme.
Wait, Buck! He’s in that thing!
Scoots held a hand out. The tornado of black fire felt both hot and cold. Just reaching toward it made her fingers smoke and shiver.
“Okay, Scoots, what’re you gonna do? You'll probably die if you go in there. What the heck are you gonna do now?” Scootaloo said. “Buck is trapped inside that thing with…with Buck?”
“Buck?” Gregor said. Scootaloo jumped.
“GAAH! Stop following me!” Scootaloo said, glaring at Gregor. “My friend is in there!”
“Buck? Friend?” Greg said.
“That’s right, my friend! He needs me! That’s what friends do; they help each other out!” Scootaloo said. When she made to move, Greg did too. She couldn’t tell if it was out of habit or if the drone was going to try and capture her again. For a moment, the two just stood there, totally still, waiting for someone to make the first move.
But then Greg looked at his feet and walked past Scootaloo. He approached the spinning tower of fire, and he spoke in Buck’s voice.
“People need two things. To be fed and to be loved. With these guys, those things’re one and the same!”
Greg inhaled a gout of flame. Instantly, he was writhing in pain; Scootaloo could see him glowing red as he swallowed a mouthful of mana. He was drinking a hole into the side.





When Buck opened his eyes, he had to fight himself to avoid throwing up. It was like that time in Sunburst’s suite, when Adagio had tried to really draw out his power. Back then, Buck’s vision had gone white. He had only seen a bit of the crazy illusions that filled the space. 
This time, Buck was trapped in a tornado of nightmares. A landscape of insanity lit by his dwindling pink flames. He saw twisted hills made out of human suffering, staircases made of shattered glass, and a chaotic mass of creatures for whom petty laws like gravity, mass, and structure were a hilarious joke. Somehow, every face in the pandemonium was that of someone he knew but twisted in pleasure and pain. On the horizon, Buck saw a towering colossus made of void and stars. He recognized a vague humanoid shape, but it had many horns and many wings, and its eyes were dying suns. 
“Holy shit…I really need therapy, don’t I?” Buck said meekly. His pink aura guttered into floating sparks.
“Don’t you get it? Nobody’s gonna fix you, bro!” Mean Buck said. “You can’t even remember the last time you were really happy! Everyone talks shit on you, everyone looks down on you, and for what? Because you’re big and dark and odd? Because you’re unlucky? Because you’ve been through shit? No, it’s you.”
Suddenly, Mean Buck’s gauntlet closed around Buck’s face, and a black inferno surged into Buck’s eyes.
Buck saw all of his worst memories at once. He saw the look of terror on Ditzy’s face. He saw Adagio chasing him down a hotel hallway. Time kept running backward. Buck was turning nauseous. He was seeing things he never discussed with anyone.
He was sitting on the couch in his apartment, crying into his hands as his sister rubbed his back. Then he saw the reason he’d been weeping; the cameras, the delirious adrenaline, and Lightning Dust. And earlier still, he saw Her. Her telling him to get out of her sight that she never wanted to see him again, after everything he’d done for her, and he saw Coloratura, the girl he’d let down, and further back now he saw the Rainbooms fighting the good fight and him trying to help but getting tossed aside, and he saw Cranky Doodle, his shithead math teacher, telling him he’d never amount to anything if he kept writing in class, and he saw Spoiled Rich looming over him with a wad of cash, and then he was vomiting on the roof of his home as he smelled the bodies in the water and it was too much, it was all too much.
“Here’s the news, Buck. You’re not the main character. You’re busted goods. Worthless. You’re worthless, and everybody knows it! Admit it!” Mean Buck said.
Lost jobs, missed appointments and deadlines, failure after failure. A mountain of broken promises rising over the horizon, blotting out the sun, casting sickly shadows across the inside of Buck's skull. Its weight was his totality. He couldn't bear it anymore.
Buck fell to his knees. His face was streaked with tears and snot. His pink flame was all but extinguished.
“You’re right.” Buck said.
Mean Buck threw Buck aside and stomped on his chest.
“Say it!” Mean Buck snarled.
“I’m worthless.” Buck whimpered.
“They’ll all abandon you in the end. Why bother holding on?” Mean Buck growled. “Why don’t you let a real man take over, huh? I’ll fly where you failed, you useless piece of shit.”
Mean Buck’s hand lowered toward Buck’s face. The flames gathering in his palm promised oblivion.
“Just lay down and die.” Mean Buck said.
His grin tore open the side of his face as he brought the flames of hell down on Buck. But as the foul creature struck, Scootaloo’s skateboard smashed into the back of his head. The whole hellscape screamed in pain, flickering like an old VHS tape as Mean Buck collapsed to the ground, holding his head.
“Sneak attack.” Scootaloo said.
Buck looked up at Scootaloo, trying frantically to wipe the ick off his face. He didn’t want her to see him like this. He didn’t want to be seen in general; he was a total mess.
“Scoots, he’s, he’s right! He’s right! I am worthless! I can’t cut it as a hero, I can’t cut it as a regular guy, I’m not good enough for anything!” Buck wailed.
Scootaloo blinked, scratched her head, and gave out a sigh.
“Aw geez, I’m bad at this mushy stuff…! Buck, you’re not worthless, you’re just having a hard time!” Scootaloo said.
“I’m always having a hard time! When does it end, Scoots!? Why can’t I just get it right, for once!?”
“What are you talking about? Every time you join a fight, we end up winning!” 
“What?”
Buck blinked, slack-jawed as if he'd been slapped. Scootaloo grabbed Buck’s hand and pulled him up.
“Oof, you’re heavy. Look, the whole reason you’re here is because we need you! You’re not worthless. And that frickin’ thing over there isn’t you. You’re the nicest guy I’ve ever met. Even though you’ve been through a lot, you’re always looking out for everyone around you, and you’re thoughtful, and sweet, and actually really funny! And you’re always including me in stuff, and you’re always asking me what I think, and I just…feel really good when you’re around!”
“Really?”
“And you’re handsome! And really good and roleplaying, and dancing, and singing, and you’ve got a really nice dick, okay?” Scootaloo was turning red as she babbled.
“Uhh…?”
“I’ve known you since high school, and you’ve always been this really cool guy, and it’s not because you have magic or whatever, but because you’re just a really solid dude! I know you’ve got a lot on your plate; but having bills, and debt and all that doesn’t define you! Making mistakes doesn’t define you! The Buck I know is…he’s great.” Scootaloo trailed off.
As Scootaloo was speaking, sparks of mana burst into being around Buck. They started pink, but then they took on a rainbow hue. 
“GAAH! What the fuck!?” Mean Buck writhed in pain as those same sparks exploded across his body.
“You’re my best bro. And I’m not gonna let some weirdo in a suit tell you otherwise!” Scootaloo said. There was more she wanted to say, clearly, and Buck could see it, but none of it mattered right now. What mattered, he decided was this feeling of warmth.
Buck pulled Scootaloo into a tight hug.
“Thank’s, Scoots. You always come in clutch, like a good rogue.”
“I’m so tired of everyone being mad all the time! I just wanna go back to watching cartoons and playing games!”
“You’re right. This shit’s gotten way too complicated. But you know what? I think I’m startin’ to get the hang of it. I mean, I’ve seen the Rainbooms do this so many times, maybe I should just…you know, try it their way.” Buck said.
He smiled and tousled Scootaloo’s hair, and licks of rainbow light danced between his fingers. Then Buck turned to his damned clone, who was starting to rise again.
“What a buncha bullshit! Are you really gonna listen to her!? She barely even knows you; she just wants to fuck!” Mean Buck said.
“Hey! Th-that’s not true!” Scootaloo squealed.
“You don’t wanna fuck?” Buck raised an eyebrow at Scootaloo, who devolved into a red-faced, stammering mess.
“You know, I should thank you. I’ve been carrying this weight for so long, I never thought it could have a face.” Buck said. “Now, every time I get down on myself for some shit I cain’t control, I’m gonna imagine your ugly ass, and laugh.”
“FUCK YOU!” Mean Buck exhaled a torrent of black flame, but it fizzled before it could even reach Buck. The veil of rainbow strobed red, then pink, like the flare of a firework. Scootaloo had to squint just to keep eyes on Buck through the glare. He was smirking.
“I get it, now. You’re not my opposite; not really. You’re just the parts of me I don’t wanna deal with. But that’s not fair, is it? You cain’t just shove all that shit down, you gotta take responsibility for it.”
Buck's horns returned, but they were thick and curved like a ram. His feet turned cloven, and a faun’s tail protruded from his back. For some ungodly reason, he was hard as a rock.
As Buck strode purposefully toward his clone, Mean Buck shrunk away in terror. The nightmare world was shuddering with static. A pink sun was rising, and all the horrors were fleeing for the shadows.
“What…what is this cheesy shit? This is a fanfic, not a fuckin’ hallmark movie!” Mean Buck said.
“I’ve been doin’ a lotta running around, tryna put out fires instead of dealing with all the shit I’ve got buried deep down. I’ve been trying to get a grip on all this magic horseshit without realizing it’s all pretty simple. Magic…It’s art. It's pure expression; a window into our emotions, and the reason I’ve been having such a hard time is I keep bottling my feelings up instead of letting them speak.”
“No, no, no! Fuck you! Fuck you! You don’t get to pull this bullshit! Not now! Not after everything that’s happened! You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!” Mean Buck raged. 
Flames blasted at Buck. Spikes of stones rose from the floor to pierce him. Meteors rained from the sky, but all of it disappeared with a snap of Buck's fingers as he approached his copy.
“It’s alright to just let yourself feel things. You don’t need permission, and you don’t need to wait for the time to be right.” Buck said.
“Shut up! Shut up! Stop looking at me like that! I’m evil! I’m the evil in you!” Mean Buck wailed.
“No, no you're not. We’re just lost, and confused. Come here.”
Buck grabbed his clone, but this time, instead of struggling, he held the doppelganger against his chest.
“It’s alright. I know we’re all fucked up, and I know it hurts. It’s alright to cry and yell.”
Mean Buck shuddered. He tensed up, ready to spit bile and hatred, but all that came was a choked sob. Slowly, his trembling arms slid around Buck’s waist, and he cried hot tears into his chest.
"I acknowledge you. You're a part of me, and I'm not gonna just leave you alone anymore."
The pink sun shone over the hellscape in Buck’s heart, and in a grand solar flare, the illusion disappeared. Scootaloo covered her eyes as a brilliant pink flash enveloped the lobby.





Starlight Glimmer and Adagio Dazzle limped down the hallway back to the lobby. Starlight’s arm was over Adagio’s shoulder, but if you asked either of them, they couldn’t be sure who was supporting whom.
“We will never speak of this again.” Adagio said.
“Save it for therapy. We still have a Queen to catch.” Starlight said.
“Right. We just have to hope that Buck has been judicious with his mana consumption.” Adagio said.
The pair turned the corner and saw the lobby in total disarray.  Much of it was scorched black. Shallow rifts pockmarked the floor, and strange spiky pillars protruded from the carpet. Parts of the room were engulfed in pink flames. To Adagio, the space smelled like burnt marshmallows and caramelized sugar.
“So much for that.” Starlight said, then yelped as Adagio dropped her to run over to Buck, who was smoking in a small crater. Beside him was part of a log engraved with an image of his cutie mark, tacked with a Polaroid picture of Buck sitting at his writing desk.
“Buck? Are you alright?” Adagio said, stopping just at the edge of the crater. Buck looked at her as if waking from a dream. He was back to normal.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. I think, I think I learned something.” Buck said.
“Like how to burn down a lobby?” Starlight said. “Hey wait, Scootaloo, what are you doing here!?”
“Uh, it’s a funny story, actually.” Scootaloo said, and started to explain.
“Hey, Greg, buddy! Y’alright?” Buck said. In the corner, Greg was on all fours, hacking up black smoke.
“Greg’s alright.” He coughed, giving a thumbs up.
“Did…did you beat him?” Adagio said.
“Sorta? I figured out what my pink power is, and how to use it. Kind of.” Buck said. “Check it out!”
Buck stepped over to Greg, and though the changeling shrunk away, perhaps in fear, perhaps in shame, Buck placed a hand on his head. Adagio’s eyes widened in shock as pink embers flickered across Greg’s black carapace, filling the holes in his limbs. There was no fizzle or pop, or any kind of explosion. It felt like standing next to a lit hearth.
“Happy!” Greg said.
Buck smiled with pride, perhaps expecting adulations for his accomplishment, but Adagio was stunned. The power that she’d shrunk away from in fear, the power that threatened to char her down to her bones, Buck had deployed simply and easily. She was unsure if she'd under or overestimated the man. His power. He knew! He had to know, but what would that mean for Adagio? She felt she was standing in the threshold of a new world. And she was afraid.
Before anyone could say anything, the massive doors at the top of the grand staircase opened with a ponderous groan.
Queen Chrysalis strode through them on a pair of clacking heels. She was dressed in a purple gown, torn to show a great deal of leg, and a black corset cinched tightly around her waist. She clapped slowly, grinning maliciously as she descended the stairs with elegant, deliberate steps.
“Excellent, Buck! You are every bit the flawless specimen I thought you were!” Chrysalis said.
Crack!
In the space of a second, Starlight Glimmer pulled from the pink flames around her, turning them blue before firing them at Chrysalis like buckshot. The mana bolts bounced off Chrysalis as if she were made of steel. Starlight noticed with shock that Chrysalis was wearing the changeling stone necklace that was meant for Buck.
“And you’re just as feeble as I expected, Starlight Glimmer.” Chrysalis said, snapping her fingers. A phalanx of changeling drones zipped out of the doors, pelting the party with slime.
“Run!” Adagio said and pushed Scootaloo aside before getting pasted to the floor. Scootaloo did not need to be told twice; she mounted her skateboard, and with a sudden burst of air, she tore off down a hallway. A few drones chased her as she fled. Queen Chrysalis didn't seem to notice her at all.
Starlight also tried to flee, but her bum leg dragged, and she was swiftly restrained to the ground.
Chrysalis strode toward Buck. Her sharp, slitted eyes had to stare down her nose to make eye contact. She began to speak, but Greg jumped in front of Buck, taking as much of a defensive stance as he could muster.
“Stand aside.” Chrysalis hissed.
“No!” Greg said.
“What did you say?”
“No! Buck! Friend!” Greg barked.
“I see.” Chrysalis said with frigid calmness. She lifted a claw, and for a moment, Buck feared she would reach down and break Gregor’s neck, but instead, she snapped her fingers, and a few drones dogpiled Greg, dragging him away.
“Greg! What are you going to do to him!?” Buck said.
“It seems to have undergone some change. I take it that was your doing?” Chrysalis said.
“Let him go! Greg didn’t do anything wrong! Let him go!” Buck said.
“Do you really think you’re in any position to make demands?” Chrysalis sneered. Her tone had all the matronly force of an advancing steamroller.
“Yes.” Buck said, and his eyes blazed with red and pink flame.
A long pause ensued. 
Adagio and Starlight watched as Buck stared up at the merciless Queen of the Changelings without so much as a quiver or blink. Where was the conscientious coward Starlight Glimmer had criticized? Where was the hapless fool that Adagio had seduced? Here was the blazing lighthouse Adagio truly feared, but his golden beam was fixed on the enemy.
“Fine.” Chrysalis said. “Greg, as you call it, will not be harmed.”
The drones pulling Greg away handled him a bit gentler but still held him in place.
“Okay, cool. Can you let my friends go?”
“No. They came here as invaders, but I will happily treat them as guests in exchange for your company.” Chrysalis said diplomatically.
“What?” Buck said.
Chrysalis then graciously curtsied at Buck with practiced poise.
“Purple Prose, I would like to formally invite you to a dinner date, complete with a bevy of refreshments, and a show.”
“...Hhhwhat?” Buck said.
“My people are in peril, and I desire your cooperation. I’d like to enjoy your company for the evening, so we can discuss a possible alliance. We have much to gain from each other, I assure you.” Chrysalis said with a sharp smile.
Buck looked at his restrained allies, then at his shoes, then back at Chrysalis. A tumbleweed rolled across the field of his mind.
“Well damn, if all this was about a date, you oughta know that my rates are-”
“Hah! I’m surprised by your boldness! I thought you would tremble in terror upon meeting me a third time.” Chrysalis said.
“A third? But we’ve only met once, and you were Adagio for the part where I was conscious.”
Chrysalis smiled and transformed into Ms. Harshwhinny, save for her professional scowl, which was more of a lecherous leer.
“Does this form ring a bell?” Chrysalis said.
“Oh. Oh, shit. You were that client? Holy shit, did you guys know?” Buck said, turning to Starlight and Adagio. Starlight shrugged with bewliderment, whereas Adagio didn’t meet his eye.
“...I thought you would be embarrassed if you knew.” Adagio murmured.
“For fuck’s sake! Nobody tells me anything around here!” Buck huffed. “Alright, alright, you’re giving me the willies, can you go back to your real form? That was your real form, right?”
“Well, of course it is. You’ve seen it before; don’t you remember?” Chrysalis said, flipping back. She seemed amused by Buck’s confusion.
“No, no, I definitely would’a remembered all of this.” Buck said.
“Really? You were quite frightened. You went entirely catatonic!” Chrysalis prodded.
“No, that can’t…I would’ve remembered seeing…wait. Hold on. Hold on, wait a second.”
Buck started putting pieces together in his mind. He felt a sudden pain at his temple, which he’d mistaken for a migraine before, as he turned to look at Starlight Glimmer. She wouldn’t look in his eyes.
“Son of a bitch. What did you do? What did you take outta my head, Starlight!?” Buck said, flaring red.
“You…you were traumatized! You we’re freaking out; you were starting to awaken, so we-” Starlight started.
“Who the fuck is we!?” Buck half-shouted.
“I needed to make a cover for the gap in your memory, so I…I asked Ditzy Doo to help me.” Starlight said.
“What a marvelous betrayal! They must truly be terrified of your power! Isn’t it hard to find good allies these days?” Chrysalis tittered derisively.
Buck stood there, seething. His hands flexing, his jaw clenched, fury rolling off his shoulders.
Starlight’s mind was even more strained. She had spent hours in a cave with this man, fighting by his side, scraping and bickering with him, and finally letting him in on her story. She had left him to face his worst nightmare, and he had come out on top. He had spent the last several months containing the greatest threat to Canterlot and the world, and he had done it while under massive strain and stress.
And what had she done? She had reached into his head and moved things around in an attempt to pacify him. She had manipulated him. Lied to him. Used him.  Put him in harm’s way, and all because of the potential magic within him.
Starlight Glimmer had spent so much time trying to prevent the kind of disaster her father had caused, but here she was, manipulating an innocent person for her own gain. Was she really that different?
“I’m sorry.” Starlight said.
Adagio glared at Queen Chrysalis, then looked at Buck tenderly, and there was a silent bit of communication.
While Chrysalis laughed at Starlight, Buck tilted his head at her while looking at Adagio. Equal parts fury and curiosity fought on his face. He looked like he might cry. Adagio’s eyes widened but then filled with a silent determination. She mouthed out the words: “Adapt or Die”.
Buck remembered the fight with Smolder and how Adagio had swallowed her pride to rise to the occasion.
He took a deep breath, then, with great effort, he smirked.
“Well, my sense of trust is in shambles.” Buck sighed. “You’re going to have a hard time warming me up for this date, lady.”
“Funny you should mention that. I know that my true form is a bit unsightly to some, so I’ve made a bit of special preparation for your sake.” Chrysalis said.
“Is it a hot appetizer?” Buck said.
“Something like that.” Chrysalis chuckled.
In the wake of a green flash, the changeling Queen’s colors reversed. Her pitch-black skin changed to a pale green; her matted tresses turned ginger auburn, shining like silk. She was petite now, too, about a head shorter than Buck. Her eyes remained the same sharp emerald color, but her curves bloomed drastically. Buck couldn’t be completely sure, but he thought he recognized the shapes: Adagio’s wide hips stretching the dress and Ditzy’s incredible rack straining against the black corset.
Critically, she kept the crown of curling antennae at the top of her head.
Buck could feel steam rising out of his own head.  
“So. What do you say, Purple Prose? Will you spend the evening with me?”
“...Phew. It’s Chrysalis, right? That’s a beautiful name.”
“That’s Queen Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings.”
“Can I call you Chryssi?”
“No.”
“Well, Queen Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings, since my friends have betrayed me, and Adagio is, you know, Adagio, I’ve decided to accept. You can wine and dine me, and I’ll hear you out.”
“I just knew you’d see reason.” Chrysalis said. She grinned down at Adagio and Starlight as she offered her arm to Buck.
“What I can see is you lookin’ fine as fuck in that dress. Is all of that for me?” Buck said.
“Ah! You…flattery will get you nowhere with me!” Chrysalis spluttered, a green blush splashing across her face, then blinked in surprise as Buck slipped an arm around her waist.
“You wanna make a bet on that, chere?”
“...bring them to the dining room!” Chrysalis said.
Starlight and Adagio were dragged to their feet, bound at the wrists, and without a fight, they made for the stairs.
Starlight’s eyes were down as they followed Buck and Chrysalis up the stairs, but she snapped to attention as Adagio elbowed her in the ribs.
A string of letters stretched across Buck’s back, written in red, flashing like a neon sign. The drones either didn’t care or couldn’t read them, but Adagio and Starlight got the message loud and clear.
“Trust Me.”
> ((Explicit)) Chapter 38 - Persephone (Yumi Zouma)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Change is a funny thing; it always seems to catch you by surprise. 
Sometimes, it's like a snowball. What you have for lunch, when you go to sleep, who you keep as company; touch your life in tiny ways, sliding downhill until they start rolling together, and then one day you turn around and there's a boulder of ice barreling down at you.
Other times, it's as simple and devastating as looking in a mirror.

Back in the roaring twenties, the Little Snowdrop Inn was built as a grand monument to excess, raised with shining shingles, gilded railings, and polished windows. Now, as it sat soaking in rainfall, its sagging roof groaned under the weight of unseasonal snow. Over the years, it had gone from a palace of riches, a place for the wealthy and bored to spend their summers in the lap of luxury, to a dilapidated den for monsters to incubate and grow. In some ways, it hadn’t much changed at all.

Magic, like change, always came at a cost, and it seemed to all the fleeing wildlife in the valley that the hole in the sky would extract that cost at any moment. The wind howled balefully, and the bent trees across the valley shivered in fear. Lightning crackled viciously across the sky as a curtain of dishwater stormclouds circled the rift like some great cosmic drain. 
A shaft of vibrating light shone down from the rift, incubating the Little Snow Drop Inn like an artificial womb.

Queer lights strobed through the inn’s dusty windows, red, pink, black, each flash of spell-fire shaking the foundations in cannon bursts of possibility, and as they were lost in a massive burst of white, the whole world braced for a sudden, ineffable change.





The situation inside the Little Snowdrop Inn had taken a dire turn. The defenders of Canterlot, such as they were, had been detained by Queen Chrysalis, all save for Scootaloo, who managed to slip free during the struggle. A hissed command by the Queen sent a few pocked, unstable drones after the renegade.
As the doors at the top of the lobby’s twin staircases opened, Buck squinted into the light behind it. An anomaly lay before him.

It was a grand and gothic ballroom, lit by the emerald light of a trio of chandeliers. Drones buzzed to and fro, dusting the elegant, carved fixtures, polishing the black marble floor by hand. A platoon of polished tables sat before a green-curtained stage, below which was an orchestra pit populated by a changeling string quartet in smart suits and understated dresses. The band tuned their instruments with rigor, though they seemed to regard them with a detached, puzzled expression. A sharp glance from Queen Chrysalis startled them into their set. It was a string rendition of Stuck With U by Justin Beiber. Buck stifled a laugh, glancing over his shoulder.

Buck expected Adagio to be seething, but he saw shell-shocked openness in her gaze. He wondered what she did to handle her clone and knew that he wouldn’t like the answer. A familiar yearning rose in him, a need to be needed, to help her process the events of today, to speak with her about what was to come next. There was so much weight and intention behind his eyes, Adagio must have tasted it in the air. She quickly looked away.

Starlight’s Glimmer’s eyes swiveled around, then snapped wide at a figure at the far end of the room. It was Sunburst; bound to a chair, roughed up and gagged, but conscious. Starlight made to rush for him, but was held tight.

“Sunburst! Sunburst!” Starlight cried.

“Gag her. And the siren, too.” Queen Chrysalis said. The drones roughly wrestled the pair to the ground.

“Hey, hey, be gentle about it!” Buck said.

“What do you care? They’ve betrayed you.” Chrysalis said.

“I don’t want anyone hurt. Call it a matter of principle.” Buck said.

“Very well." Chrysalis sighed. "Seat them at the same table. Make sure they don’t interfere.” The drones pasted the captives’ mouths shut, then their arms and legs to their seats. 

“Okay, I get why Starlight and ‘dagio are tied up, but why Sunburst?”

“I know better than to underestimate my enemies. Pray you don't make the mistake of becoming one.” Chrysalis said.

“If you wanted to tie me up, you could'a just asked. I keep the fuzzy cuffs under my bed.” Buck said. “Bro, you okay? Gimmie a nod if you’re good.”

Sunburst had been laying his head against Starlight’s, trying even now to support her in this dark moment. He looked at Buck with drowsy bewilderment, and after a moment, he nodded slowly. The question in his eyes was obvious, but Buck swiftly rambled past it.

“Man, you would not believe the day I've had! I got chased around a hotel again, I got my shit kicked in by a clone, and I could swear me and Starlight were stuck in those caves for a whole year!” Buck sauntered forward, but he suddenly tripped over his own feet. His chin hit the floor with a rumbling thud. Some dust shook itself from the ceiling and onto his head.
Chrysalis struggled to hold in a laugh as Buck grabbed the edge of the table to pull himself up.

“Ugh…yeah, so anyway, long day.” Buck groaned. “Hey, Queen Chrysalis, Queen of the changelings, would you mind if my man here healed me up a bit? I’ve been through the ringer.”

“Absolutely not. If you get any closer to them, there will be consequences. Chrysalis said.

“What? Whaddya mean?” Buck said.

Chrysalis closed a fist. A green, pulsing phantom of a gnarled horn appeared on her head. The slime on the mouths of Buck’s friends crept upward like a mold, covering their noses.

“Woah, woah, woah, time out!” Buck said, scrambling away from the table. “Okay, alright, message received!”

“Was it?” Chrysalis grinned. The defenders of Canterlot winced and shook against their bonds. The slime burbled but did not give way. They would suffocate in no time.

“I get, I get, I won’t touch ‘em, I won’t even look at ‘em! Just please! Let’em breathe!” Buck simpered. “Have I mentioned how gorgeous you look, by the way?”

“You understand the rules, then? Good.” Chrysalis said. Her grip relaxed, and the slime receded back into gags. She took visible glee at watching Buck catch his breath. “Now…is that what you’re wearing?”

“Huh? Oh, uh…hm.” Buck’s jacket was singed and torn. He could feel the steady sting of a shiner over his eye from when Starlight slugged him, and the fresh bruises he’d gotten on his arms and chest.

“I must say, I’m impressed. You have a remarkable ability to smile in spite of your…situation.” Chrysalis said.

“Years of practice.” Buck recovered. “It was a long walk, getting here, but the view is absolutely worth it.” With a tender slink of the hand, Buck touched the small of the Queen’s back.

Chrysalis went rigid, as if startled by a passing skunk, and Buck saw a green blush splash across her nose. Adagio squinted at Buck’s expression. She’d seen it before, in a mirror. A subtle, sadistic glee. A look that said “I’m going to have fun with this one.”

“Still, this won’t do.” Chrysalis said, with a snap, and a disguised drone scrambled up behind her.

“Is that Silver Spoon?” Buck squinted.

“It had better not be,” Chrysalis growled. Silver Spoon scrambled forward, remembered her orders, and flashed back to her black drone form just as the Queen turned to regard her. “Take Mr. Purple Prose to the dressing room and get him cleaned up.”

“Y-Y-Yes, your highness! Come, come!” The drone said, nervously ushering Buck across the hall.

“Woah! Alright, sure!” Buck said.

“Don’t keep me waiting,” Queen Chrysalis purred, her eyes lingering on Buck's back as the door creaked shut. She stood there until she noticed Adagio's hot glare and her expression curdled into a maniacal grin.

“And here…we are…again.”

Adagio writhed in her seat. The slime covering her mouth smothered a string of curses.

“Oh my, such language!” Queen Chrysalis laughed, patting Adagio heavily on the head. “Let this be a lesson, you pathetic little lungfish. There is nothing in this world you can acquire that I cannot win back. Which reminds me...”

The dreaded monarch strode over to Gregor in her human disguise, extending a hand that withered into a blackened claw. 

“No…no…sorry, sorry, sorry!” Gregor said, struggling against his fellow drones.

The Queen’s index talon pulsed with green light, moving with agonizing slowness before it stopped at Greg’s forehead. His eyes swirled and his body convulsed.

“What have you learned?” Chrysalis said.

The spell was a blur; imprecise and broad as it coursed into Gregor’s mind, but with great effort, Chrysalis navigated to the last few hours. A toothy smile spread across her face as new information flashed across her sight.

While the Queen of the changelings was preoccupied with extracting information, Adagio shoved her shoulder against Starlight’s, who rebounded and jostled Sunburst. The both of them glanced at Adagio: Starlight with indignation and Sunburst with befuddlement which turned to curiosity as Adagio gestured nonsensically.
Her eyes whipped skeptically around the room, then seemed to point toward the table.

Sunburst shrugged, earning a muffled groan from Adagio. 

The siren butted her forehead against the tabletop with a light thud. Her luscious curls, still wet from the confrontation with her clone, splashed a smattering of water drops onto the polished wood.
With great strain, Adagio hummed a light, high note that shook the ooze covering her mouth. The water drops shifted like mercury on a plate, shaking unsteadily. Adagio took in a deep breath and hummed harder, a little vein bulging on her forehead, and the water swiftly formed a phrase: “Under the table”. 
Then, after a second, another word; “Idiots.”

And there it was. With a quick glance, Sunburst reached out with the tip of his foot, quietly dragging an object into the trio’s view.

It was Stygian’s spellbook. Buck had dropped it during his little stumble.





Buck sat on a little stool in an adjacent dressing room, watching with numb fascination as the stuttering changeling drone swept a glowing ball of green mana across his form.

Out of disguise, Buck could take in the drone's actual features. She was petite, lanky, and distressingly thin. Her hands shook a bit as she worked, as did her long, notched ears which stayed down like that of a cautious fox. The short, curved horn on her head had a little notch in the front. Most striking were her eyes; they were a pale, milky blue and bright. He also noticed that her glasses were not part of her Silver Spoon disguise; they were real.

“You’ve got really pretty eyes,” Buck said.

“Huh…what!?” The drone froze. Her voice was nasally and low.
 
“Your eyes. They’re lovely. Like a soft summer sky. I just thought you oughta know.” Buck said.
 
The drone stood there, shellshocked.

“Do you know if there’s going to be food?” Buck said.

“Oh, y-yes, of course!” The drone said, returning to her work. She was lightly brushing Buck’s hair. “The Queen has had a lavish f-f-feast prepared. You won't want for anything.” The drone said, then cringed backward as Buck's stomach rumbled.

“It's alright, I don't bite, uh, uh…”

Buck’s words trailed off as the drone stared at him, motionless.

“...this is the part where you say your name. You guys have names, right?”

“I-If we're useful, yes.”

“Fucking horrifying to hear that.”

“I-I-I'm sorry!”

“Not your fault. You got a name?”

“Tymbal, sir. A spy and attendant.”

“Oh, that's! Shit, uh, c'mon Shy, help me out…” Buck rubbed his temples. …tim…ball…Tymbal? Like uh, like a cicada, right? The little snare drum organ that makes the chirp. Right?”

“If you insist, sir.” The drone said, buzzing around, pulling off Buck's jacket, and testing a few different coats from a nearby rack. Most of them were moth-eaten and dusty.

“Does that like, does that mean the same thing in pony world as it does over here? How does that even…?” Buck pondered, but the drone just blinked at him. “Well, it’s a nice name, anyway.” Buck said with a smile. “Nice to meet you, Tymbal. You know, if you ever wanna go out on the town, you know, as yourself, you might try, like Locust Song, or Springtime Melody, or like, Chirps Darkly. It’ll help ya fit in. All the locals have names like that.”

The drones’ fussing stopped, and she caught Buck's golden gaze, suddenly feeling very hot.

“Sir?” Tymbal said.

“It's Buck.” Buck said.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Or Purple Prose!”

“Yes, Purple Prose, sir. May I have your permission to speak freely?”

“What? Yeah, of course.”

Tymbal looked at the floor. Buck recognized she was choosing her words carefully.

“Always.” Buck said, smiling. 

“You are…very different from what I was expecting.”

“What were you expecting?”

“It's, it's just that, a-and please don’t be mad, but when I asked the Queen about you, she described you as…a terrible power that could doom the changelings or save us.”

“What, did you think I was twenty feet tall, or that I shoot fire out my ass?”

“No, sir, no I just thought you would be angry! O-or violent! The way Ditzy Doo spoke of you-”

“You talked with Ditzy? Wait, wait, run it back. You were Silver Spoon a sec ago. Are you impersonating her?”

“Y-y-yes sir!” Tymbal cringed.

“Are you trying to kidnap Ditzy too?” Buck said, darkly.

“No sir, no, I just do what I’m told!”

“No, I…I understand. Really.”

“Huh?”

“I get it. I mean, your Queen is also your Mom, and you can’t go against orders. I get it. It’s a bad thing you did, but you’re just a kid. It ain't your fault.”

Tymbal looked at Buck; really stared at him for a few seconds, then started rub her temples.

“I-I-I shouldn’t be talking to you!” Tymbal said.

“Woah, uh, why not?” Buck said.

“The Queen said we might get greedy and try to eat you!” 

“You hungry? I got some trail mix in here, though there isn’t much left…or I could give you some of this.”
Buck extended a hand, and a flickering ball of pink flame flared in his palm. Tymbal shrank away from it like it was poison.

“No, no, no! You can’t give me that! The others will get jealous!”

“So what? I can just feed them, too. Come on; time’s’re tough. You gotta eat when you can.”

“Th-th-this is a trap! You’re going to hurt me!” Tymbal squealed. 

“Naw, I’m not.” Buck shook the flame out of his hand.

“Even…even though I did a bad thing? Even though you came here to destroy the hive?”

“Who told you that?”

“The Queen. She taught us how humans are angry and cruel. And y-you kind of wrecked the lobby.”

“That’s fair.” Buck sighed, looking at his big purple hands. 

It had been a while since he’d looked at them. They were firm, sturdy and rough. He had old calluses lining the tops and sides of his palms; the result of years of manual labor. Some of his cuticles were peeling from all the time they spent submerged in dishwater, and he was reminded not for the first time this month that he needed to stop biting his nails. But that’s not what he was thinking about, not really. It was his clone. His clone, that could breathe gouts of flame, summon spires from the floor, drop meteors and explode things by yelling at them. Who could turn Scootaloo into a quivering wreck with a flick of the wrist and a low growl. Everything Mean Buck was capable of was a reflection of Buck’s own potential.
Buck rose from where he sat before the mirror, and without thinking, he started to sift through the various clothes on the rack. For a moment, his eyes flickered with a red and black light.

If I wanted to, Buck thought, I really could burn this place down. If I wanted to, I could take whatever I felt like. If I wanted, I could melt the Queen’s face off with just my hands and a harsh word. And he thought of the cracked look in his clone's eyes, and the shuddering wail that came with his tears. Maybe it was time to admit he had a part to play. Maybe, Buck thought, it was time to start playing by his own rules.

“Sir?” Tymbal peeped.

Buck blinked, his hand stopping in all of the old silk and satin. He exhaled, slowly. The sparks were gone.

“No, I’m not gonna hurt you, Tymbal. Buck said.

“R-really?”

“Yeah, really. But I think you might want to get clear. You seem like a good person.” Buck said.

“Sir?”

“If Queen Chrysalis thinks I’m a real fucking danger…maybe it’s time I prove her right.” Buck said.
Tymbal took a step back. 

“Are you sure you don’t want a bite?” Buck said.

The pink flame came again, sparking red and pink as Buck placed it on the floor between himself and Tymbal. To the drone, it looked like a luscious, impossibly delicious forbidden fruit, throbbing with vitality and power. As she stared at the strange spell-matter, Buck held a suit on a hanger in front of his chest, shrugged, and tried another; the picture of nonchalance.

“Thank you, sir!” Tymbal squealed and dove for the spare mana, which crunched like an apple as her teeth sunk in.

“Say, when we get back in there, would you mind doin’ me a favor?” Buck said. "I wanna make an entrance."





Scootaloo was beyond tired of wearing this stupid cast. She had been subtly itching around her ankle for three days, and no amount of scrabbling in there with pens, rulers or any other pokey things had scratched that itch, and now Scoots was fed up. It would be so much easier if she’d learned how to fly.

That itch at her ankle was the most pressing problem, but she had to deal with some other concerns first.
For instance; the fact that she was hiding behind the door of an old hotel room, and there were creepy crawlies everywhere and some of them were looking for her and holy shit, holy shit, did you see the look on that evil Buck’s face. I am so fucking wet right now and I need to do something!

The hive was still buzzing with activity, but with much of its remaining drones focused on the night’s events, the halls were thinning out of guards. Only a single drone walked this hall, and it failed to notice Scootaloo wheeling out of a room, crossing the hall, diving into another as it turned its head. It certainly didn’t see Scootaloo zoom away, trip on her cast, and hit the floor face first before scrambling off toward the lobby.

Scootaloo crept around the corner and saw another hallway; old carpet, strange green lights, black…stuff covering the walls.

“What? Didn’t I just come from…?”

Scootaloo peered through an odd hole in a wall and saw a suite on the other side. She looked through another and saw a bathroom. She saw pathways all around, and none of them opened onto the lobby. She knew then that she was lost.

“Think, Scootaloo! Stop freaking out and think, you chicken!” Scootaloo grunted. “What would Rainbow Dash do? Probably run through every single room super fast because she’s like a super hero…not helpful! What would…what would Babs do?”

And Scootaloo stepped back into a time between high school, and now that was full of bad decisions, petty larceny, and piercings.

“...case the joint. Look for someone that knows where they’re going, and follow them. Stay low, stay out of sight.” Scootaloo mumbled, the phantom of Bab’s Brooklyn accent on the tip of her tongue.

Scootaloo faded into the gloom of the hive, erasing her breath. After a few seconds, a drone passed by, pushing a rusted serving cart. The wheels chirped with effort, threatening to unbalance and toss the covered dishes off the long cloth atop it. The drone was distracted by this, having to put its weight behind and to the side to prevent the cart from toppling as it wound its way through thresholds, halls, and holes, eventually coming out at the foot of the grand staircases.

It was then that Scootaloo tumbled out from beneath the cart’s cloth, scrabbling for the gloom under the stairs, but then her cast struck something and she yelped as a spike of pain shot up her leg.

The drone stopped, teeth bared, forked green tongue flicking as it scanned its surroundings for an intruder until its rumbling stomach reminded it of its job.

Scootaloo was on her butt, covering her mouth as the drone went down an adjacent hallway.

“Ughhh…what did I trip over?” Scootaloo said. 

It was a wooden crate, the kind they used for shipping freight. On the side, in big green letters were the words: “Everfree Quartz.”





Adagio’s keen eyes had been scanning the dining room for any escape route, and with her keen observation skills, she made note of two critical details. 
For one, the gothification of this clearly art nouveau interior was garish and tacky. 

Secondly, her gracious host was looking disturbed. Queen Chrysalis sat rigidly at her table caught somewhere between bewilderment and fury. It seemed to Adagio the changeling Queen’s natural camouflage had her emulating an awkward dinner date. She must have learned something peculiar from the little gnat she interrogated. What exactly happened between Buck and Starlight in those caves?

As Adagio pondered, the stuttering attendant from before shuffled over to the string quartet and murmured an urgent message. The musicians shared a shrug, then began an energetic rendition of Come and Get Your Love. It was slightly messy and a bit improvised; setting the perfect tone for what came next.

Buck strolled into the dining hall wearing an eccentric ensemble. A plain white dress shirt beneath a blood red vest, framing a black tie, a pair of black slacks, and for some reason, he’d tied his pink scarf around his waist like a sash. It was the kind of outfit one might expect on a dive bar stage at open mic night, or a particularly flashy barbershop quartet.

Buck approached the table, sitting across from Queen Chrysalis with practiced ease, and a smirk that Adagio had only seen seconds before being penetrated. Adagio glanced at Starlight and Sunburst, as if to ask if they were seeing this, and they were both dumbstruck; Sunburst in an “I always knew this day would come” kind of a way, and Starlight in an “We are all going to fucking die here” kind of way.

“Now then, Queen Chrysalis: Queen of the Changelings. Where were we?” Buck said.

“Refreshments!” Chrysalis said. All the nearby drones scrambled at the sudden bark. 
In a shuffle of holey limbs, a lavish feast was laid out. Buck’s mouth watered at succulent steaks, fried chicken and boiled crab, sides of sauteed vegetable stir fry and clam chowder. At the last second, a drone ran up and placed a packet of store-bought sushi on the table; Buck guessed it was too difficult to prepare.

With his rumbling stomach impossible to ignore, Buck tore into each dish one at a time, having to stop once or twice to guzzle soda to avoid choking.

“…these are some of my favorite foods! How did you know?” Buck said.

“It was a simple matter of using your human technology for reconnaissance. A bit of persistence won me a lexicon of your past.” Chrysalis said, triumphantly holding up a smartphone.

“You…stalked my Myface page? Looking for a dish to impress me?” Buck said.

Chrysalis blinked.

“Yes? Is that not customary?”

Buck squinted at the queen of the changelings, then a great burbling stomach rumble broke his glare.

“You know what, I’m going to table how creepy that is, ‘cause I’m starving.” Buck laughed.

“I’ll spare no expense for your sake.”

A drone presented a pair of wine glasses. A sip revealed it to be sparkling cherry cola; Buck’s favorite. 

“Mm! You sure know how to make a guy feel welcome. So, wait, you’ve been learning about humans with a smart phone?”

“Yes. I’ve never encountered such an excellent source of reconnaissance. It’s been an invaluable tool for mastering your people’s customs and culture. You could say I’ve got gyatt when it comes to human rizz. My skills at assimilation are positively bussin’.” Chrysalis said, triumphantly.

Buck snerked a burst of cola out of his nose, doubling over as he struggled painfully to hold in a laugh. 

At the other table, Starlight Glimmer looked on with bewilderment while Sunburst shook, trying not to choke on the slime as he laughed. As a matter of fact, the entire table quaked briefly. Adagio’s eyes were down as the Queen glanced over, blushing with embarrassment.

“Holy shit, oh my god.” Buck coughed. A pair of drone attendants reverently patted him down with napkins.

“You’re mocking me, aren’t you.” Chrysalis said.

“No, no, I just, that just caught me off guard.” Buck wheezed.

“Purple Prose, take this seriously!” Chrysalis erupted, and Buck jolted in his seat. “I am speaking on behalf of my people. I…I’m requesting your aid.”

And awkward pause caught the odd pair. Chrysalis sniffed at her glass, then made a sour frown at her attendants.

“I told you not to pour me a glass of this sickly sweet human concoction.” Chrysalis growled. The waiting drones froze mid step, sweat racing down their faces.

“That’s no problem. Here; how do you like your drinks?” Buck said.

“Dark and bitter.” The Queen said.

“Never could’a guessed.” Buck said, reaching for it. “Here’s a trick…”

“No!” Chrysalis snatched the drink away from him.

“What? You think I’m going to poison it?”

“A smart human would.” Chrysalis said.

“Okay, powering through that--look. It’s a party trick I learned.” Buck said. He dipped a finger in his drink, and it turned bright green. Buck took a sip. “Green apple. Try it.”

Buck offered his glass to Chrysalis, and, bewildered, she slowly took a tiny sip. Her lips puckered.

“Sour.” Chrysalis said.

“Oh, right. Here.” Buck tapped it again, and this time it turned black as an untouched dark roast. Buck sipped it, frowned, then offered it to Chrysalis.

She took a long sip, and grinned.

"Bitter? Better?" Buck said. “I’m not going to sneak you my mana, or mess with you. I won’t give you my mana unless you ask me.” Buck said.

“Ah, I see. And you expect the same promise of me?” Chrysalis said. “Do you even understand why you’re here?”

“That’s easy. You missed me.” Buck said with a smirk, but the Queen’s regal disposition was not shaken.

“You are here, because I desire your cooperation. You must have seen the state of my children.” Chrysalis said.

“They’re starving.” Buck grimaced.

“Your world is anemic,” The Queen spat. “The mana here is either thin or non-existent, and without a common source to feed on, my children are born dying of hunger. I cannot stand to watch my legacy wither away.”

“And that’s where I come in.” Buck said.

“When a changeling sees something it desires, it will stop at nothing to acquire it. I have tried subterfuge, and it didn’t work. I tried an ambush, and that didn’t work either. After much deliberation, I’ve decided that now is the time for diplomacy.”

“Does ponyland diplomacy usually involve hostages?” Buck said evenly. 

“I’d be a fool to negotiate you without some form of collateral. We both recall what happened last time. Or, I suppose you don’t, thanks to that cretin.” Chrysalis glared at Starlight Glimmer, who met her gaze defiantly.

“You mean sneaking into my apartment, riding me like a damn boo hag, and stealing my mana? Or do you mean the, uh, first time you were at my place?” Buck said. 

“Are you judging me, human?” Chrysalis sneered.

"Are you gonna apologize?" Buck said. Queen Chrysalis snorted at him derisively, but Buck refused to break his glare. After a few tense moments, The Queen's expression crumpled.

“...far from my finest moment.” Chrysalis said, almost sheepishly. 

A subtle heat washed over Adagio, and she tried to breathe life into it. It was a sweet, peppery attraction, and perhaps a bit of pride. With a warm hum, the slime over her mouth bubbled.

“That first meeting was...reconnaissance,” Chrysalis said. “I needed a point of entry to observe you up close. To…sample your mana, and get a feel for your peculiar energy.”

“She filmed it, actually. She even showed it to me. The Queen of the changelings, flailing on your cock like an insecure school-filly.” Adagio grinned through a hole in her slimy gag. “You should be proud, Buck. You clearly left quite an impact.”

Chrysalis rose furiously, but Buck suddenly cut in.

“I don’t remember asking you a damn thing!” Buck said.

“Excuse me!? Who’s side are you on!?” Adagio barked.

“I didn’t even wanna be here! The whole reason we’re in this mess is because of you, and you!” Buck said, pointing at Adagio and Starlight in kind.

“Me!? You’re the one with the- we’re in this mess because she wants you!” Adagio said.

“Ain’t neither of you ever even thought about trying to just talk with the changelings and hear their side!”

“You’re being played for a fool, Buck! Anyone with eyes can see that!”

“Yeah, I was a fool for listening to you!” Buck said, his eyes sparking. Adagio felt a jet of heat pass her face, blowing a lock of her hair back. “Now I’m in charge, and I’m tellin’ you, for once in your life, shut your mouth and let someone else take point!” 

“You…you, stubborn, cocksure fool!” Adagio shouted, flabbergasted.

“Enough!” Queen Chrysalis said, and the slime re-sealed the siren’s mouth, muffling her string of curses. Chrysalis grinned sadistically at Starlight and Sunburst, showing a flash of sharp teeth. Her attention leaped back across the table as Buck gently touched her hand.

“Thanks.” Buck said.

“Oh, trust me, it’s my pleasure.” Queen Chrysalis said. “Handling dissidents is second only to my duties as mother of the changelings.”

“I took advantage of you, and for that…”

A long pause. The Queen’s shadowy, menacing expression softened into what seemed like genuine contrition.

“I apologize. I come to you today, not as a skulking thief, but as a ruler. This is an earnest attempt at diplomacy. I apologize. For both instances in which I attacked you. And I won’t use any of my powers maliciously.”

“Accepted.” Buck said. “You know…your shoulders were so stiff back then. No wonder.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” The changeling queen scowled.

“You’re a hard-working single mom. Heh. I’m startin’ to think I’ve got a type. Is tonight’s date about diplomacy, or did you just need an excuse to sit down?”

“You presume much.” Chrysalis said.

“Is it presumptuous for me to care about you?” Buck said. Chrysalis stared at him for a few bewildered seconds.

"I...I don't...circumstances being what they are, I would prefer if you wouldn't make such jokes, Purple Prose." Chrysalis said, through gritted teeth.

"Who's joking?" Buck said. “Do me a favor. Take off that necklace and close your eyes."

“Absolutely not.” Queen Chrysalis hissed.

“You know, trust is an important part of diplomatic relations. Don’t you wanna have more relations with me?” Buck said. “I don’t wanna hurt you, and the people that do are all tied up. So, what’s the harm?”

Queen Chrysalis at first looked disgusted, but then her expression softened. She slipped the changeling stone necklace off her shapely shoulders and laid it on the table.

“If this is another trick…at least be quick about it.” She seemed to be fighting a smile, blushing demurely as Buck stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. She closed her eyes.

“Good. Now, what’s your favorite color? Don’t tell me; just picture it in your head.” Buck said.

“Understood…and what of it?”

“Just hold that color. Focus on it…” Buck said.

With a small pulse of pink, Buck kissed the changeling queen’s knuckles. A vibrant wave of rich dark light shimmered across Queen Chrysalis’ voluminous orange mane, instantly dying it a moody phthalo green.

“There. Now, open your eyes.” Buck said, holding up a polished table spoon.

The Queen of the Changelings gasped at her reflection, running a hand through her silky hair. For a moment, she had the expression of a young girl discovering jewelry for the first time, but it was quickly smothered beneath a more regal bearing.

“I…see you’ve been studying since the last time we met.” Chrysalis said sharply. The necklace was back on in an instant. “Tell me, have you learned anything besides petty parlor tricks?”

“I think you’ll find I got plenty surprises for you. I’m nowhere near as helpless as I was before.”

“That is plainly evident.” Chrysalis said with a smile.

“Now then, Queen Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings--”

“Chrysalis will do.” The Queen said.

“Whassat?” Buck said.

“I said, Chrysalis will do. Do not make me say it a third time.” Chrysalis hissed. 

“Sure. Chrysalis, you’ve got me at a disadvantage in more ways than one. You seem to know a lot about me, but all I know about you is hearsay. I wanna hear your side of the story.”

“Of course you are.” Chrysalis smirked triumphantly. “Unlike your contemporaries, you can’t be satisfied with simple answers. I’ve taken the liberty of having a presentation prepared. A show to go with dinner.” She waved a hand, and the lights flickered off one by one until only those lining the stage remained. 

The string quartet switched to a mournful, almost sinister tune that Buck didn’t recognize. 
The great velvet curtains parted to reveal an elaborate set of a dour swamp. Above the stage sat a mirror, within which loomed a visage of Queen Chrysalis—her dark, sharp-cheeked face with patchy moss-like hair and sharp fangs. From his angle at the table, Buck could see Tymbal in the wings of the stage, her horn glowing as she projected what Buck surmised must be a Narration spell.

“This is but one of the legends of which Equestrian people speak; a tale of hunger, survival, and cruelty. It is spoken to all young changelings before they lay down to rest, and all who skulk in the shadows of so-called society recite it as a psalm. Listen closely, as I, Queen Chrysalis, tell you the story of how my people came to be.”

From behind Tymbal came a small army of drones. They sparked green, snapping into fantastical, familiar forms.

Three brightly colored factions entered the spotlight. Buck recognized earth ponies, albeit with thin limbs and sickly green eyes, stampeding into a group of unicorns, their horns flashing with all the menace of a holiday sparkler, while pegasus ponies circled weakly overhead like unsteady vultures.

As the ponies fought, wooden cutouts flew over the stage on ropes, bearing images of ghostly horse-like creatures with glowing blue eyes. 

“In all worlds, there are prideful creatures which rise to prominence through violent conquest. With strength of limb and sheer, unrelenting greed, they scorch a path through the land, burning their mark onto history. In the lands known now as Equestria, the creatures holding the esteemed and hubristic title of “Dominant” is Ponykind.” Chrysalis said.
Suddenly, a strange set of ponies that Buck didn’t recognize bulldozed through the lot; more robust ones with muted manes. Their faces were streaked with red war paint, and they grinned with dagger-toothed malice as they charged into the others. Buck spared a look at Sunburst, who gave a bewildered shrug.

“The drive to dominate always leads to conflict, and such was the case among all ponies. In their insatiable hunger for power, they clashed barbarously for every inch of land. The skies screamed with bitter winds, the earth was scorched so that nothing could grow, and the fields flooded with the blood and bile of the vanquished.”

Green mist crept across the stage as ponies fell by the score, crying out in pain. A painted wooden facade rose from the mist. Buck could see what looked like fallen bones sticking out of a lake of green slime. A gnarled, twisted tree with blackened limbs stood in the center. When the mist cleared, only a single unicorn remained alive. It was on the ground, groaning with pain.

“Echoes of curses dripped from the lips of the dying; the rage of war and the unending hunger of all who took up arms, pooled together across the slaughtering grounds. It is said that this was the crucible of the changelings; that we spilled forth from these charnel plains like maggots from a corpse.”

The wooden facade split in half, and out came changelings that were small, pale and grub-like. They were adorable. Their horns were barely nubs and their eyes as big as dinner plates, looking about with exaggerated curiosity as they emerged from the rot and slime. 

“No matter what other equestrian creatures may say, let it be known now that in our earliest days, we changelings looked upon the world with innocent eyes. Prideless, gentle, and curious.”

A particularly intrepid infant scuttled toward the fallen unicorn, who dramatically recoiled in fear. A second chirping grub came to observe, then a third and a fourth.

“But curiosity without guidance leads to danger. My fledgling people would come to learn a valuable lesson in their earliest days.”

When suddenly, a spear pierced the unicorn’s side! It let out a haunting death rattle, then lay still as one of those pale, fanged ponies retrieved the spear, pointing it at the defenseless grubs. It grinned at the changelings like a coyote at a rabbit.

“The cost of innocence is loss.” Chrysalis said.

The brutish pony charged the baby changelings and was soon followed by a group of similar warriors. They chased the grubs around the stage until only a handful remained. 
Those survivors cowered under a pile of bodies, covering their mouths so their fearful cries could not give them away.

“The changelings were hunted during their first era, and hunted they would remain for all of their history, until…” 
One of the grubs looked at its fellows, and looked at the bodies they were hiding under, and began to change. It gazed ominously out into the audience, fury flickering in its eyes. Buck watched as it glowed green, slowly ballooning in size. With a dry snap, a pale, fanged pony wrenched itself out of the skin of the changeling, looking nearly identical to the ones searching around.

With a trembling stomp, the changeling caught the attention of the warrior ponies, which saluted. Then the changeling gestured off stage and ran off as if in pursuit. The other warriors followed it, and after a moment’s hesitation, the surviving changelings put on similar disguises and fell in line.  

“In their hour of need, the changelings discovered a hidden strength. An uncanny ability to blend in with their oppressors. Before long, they integrated into the brutish pony society, observing their culture  and absorbing their tactics.”
The set shifted again, to a snowy village of stone huts. Buck watched as the pale, sharp toothed ponies marched in neat lines, interrogated unicorns, pegasi and earth ponies they had taken hostage, and prepared to wage war. A hidden drone winked at the audience with pale blue eyes as it observed a pack of colts and foals frolicking in the periphery.

“An unknowing eye couldn’t possibly tell them apart from the herd. But no creature is truly infallible, and there was always the possibility of a misstep.”

The full-grown changeling strolled next to another pale pony who held a vigil. A little nuzzle of the cheek, a little flick of the tail, and the soldier’s focus melted into adoration as the disguised changeling flirted. They tenderly touched noses, and a flash of pink passed between them. 
As the pair gazed lovingly at each other, one of the little fillies tripped over its tail, hitting the ground and revealing itself as a young drone. The scene froze.

“Love is the most powerful, filling sustenance we changelings can eat. We were born craving love, and yet we were hated no matter where we went. What the ponies refused to give us, we had to steal, and that made the whole world our enemy.”
The little drone gazed at the other children with bright, innocent eyes. Just as one brave filly reached out, the lovestruck stallion snapped to attention and drew a spear. Outraged, the disguised changeling dashed in front of the child, rearing up into a shaggy purple bear with sharp, jutting tusks.

“Even the slightest lapse in vigilance could compromise us, and our presence was always met with the same small-minded violence.” Chrysalis continued.
Three, four, five more changelings appeared to protect the child, but the sharp-toothed ponies outnumbered them three to one, hurling spears and curses until the changelings fled into the snow. 

“But though mistakes were made, the changelings’ adaptive nature was ever their greatest strength. They had learned their second lesson; to observe is to know, and to know is to master.”

The scene shifted as the changelings fled. They took prisoners of pegasi, and Buck watched as they sprouted wings. They staged raids on unicorns, and though magic could reveal their true forms, they sprouted horns so that they could fight back. They stole into the fertile lands of the earth ponies and organized their drones into a workforce according to the farmer’s ways. With each infiltration, the changelings become more adroit and skillful, but the rebukes from the ponies grew increasingly violent.

“My people sought shelter among the squabbling masses, scraping up every ounce of love they could, but the cruelty and selfishness of the ponies sank into each drone as they fed on their love. Love is a fickle thing; they say to live is to crave it, and yet one can be satisfied. For the changelings, this was all too true.”
The scene shifted again. The background became a pony settlement burning in the background. Painted flames gave way to a column of smoke against a slate-gray sky. The changelings fled through ankle-high snow drifts when one came to a stop on shaking legs. It snapped at any drones that approached with drooling fangs, then tackled one and began draining it of emotion.

“The innocent drones fell upon each other, seeking to devour the love they had been denied. Only the bravest and wisest of them could break this tension, through equal parts care…and fear.”  
 
Buck watched as the changeling in the lead suddenly grew taller, with a long, elegant horn rising from its head and a fluffy mane the color of winter snow. He assumed this was the first of the changeling queens, for she stamped a thunderous hoof, and the fighting drones came to a fearful halt. With a stobe of pink light, the Queen sated the drones, and a few holes formed in her limbs. Then, with no small amount of austerity, the Queen led the drones off stage.

“They knew they couldn’t survive in the frigid wasteland that the ponies created around them, so they fled to warmer climes. Taking bits and pieces of each culture they infiltrated, the changelings founded a new home knowing they could only ever trust one another. In time, changelings from distant lands assembled, bringing exotic skills with them.”
The ponies faded into the distance, and here came a diamond dog with a pick in one hand who changed into a drone. A stonework mound rose in the background; a shelter.

Then came a deer bearing saplings and shrubs. As it shrugged off its disguise, flowering vines and fruit trees rose around the new hive.

Lastly came a creature that Buck didn’t recognize. One that stood upright, with a lion’s mane and tail, long fangs, and batlike wings. It carried along a sack of strange staves and arcane implements, which the changelings took to with great curiosity.
A shining black throne rose in the center of the settlement, the drones watched in awe as a beam shot out of a staff and dissipated into nothingness before it could even scratch the monolith.

“Away from the trampling hooves of ponykind, the changelings flourished. Their grand hive was hidden in a dense forest, impenetrable by outside forces. In the halcyon days, it is said the changelings took on a form unlike any other in the world, their power rising to meet even that of dragons.”

All the drones got behind the wooden facade of the stone mound at stage left, and a brilliant spectrum of rainbow light erupted from inside. Meanwhile, a pair of glaring eyes watched from the shadows of the nearby shrubbery.

“But of course, such wondrous times never last.”

Thunder crashed as pots and pats clanged off-stage like cymbals. Wooden clouds gathered overhead, darkening the stage.

“They say that day turned to night, and the world rumbled as they came, all charging at once.”

A flock of pegasi soared overhead, bearing a gale that blew the leaves off the trees, and hail that pummeled all the greenery beneath it, but the hive stood strong.

“The ponies had formed sort of concord, and in so doing, set their combined might to the task of expansion. They had devoured all the lands before them, from sea to sea, driving out all the inhabitants until they stumbled upon the great hive by accident.”

Drones flew from the hive to intercept the invaders, or at least a fuzzy approximation of their form did. They strobed with black and pink light, striking the pegasi from the air, yet still more came.

Meanwhile, a squad of unicorns arrived at the periphery, shooting bolts of light at the hive, but all fizzled before they could reach the throne.

“The changelings fought hard for their home…”

A stampede of earth ponies charged across the stage, beating the hive’s walls in with their mighty hooves. The drones fought valiantly, but fell by the score as more and more ponies filled the stage.

“But it soon became clear that their enemies had multiplied several times over, united beneath new leadership.”

A new changeling queen emerged from the hive. Though strobing with light, her willowy orange hair and sharp horn shone out. She cut a swathe through the marauders with a beam of green light, but was suddenly struck from behind and front by simultaneous beams of magic.

Buck recognized the forms of two alicorns, one with golden fur and the other with silvery purple fur, their multicolored manes waving majestically as they flanked the queen and blasted her.

“The princesses Gold Lily and Sterling. Tyrants said to hold the powers of Unity and Growth, respectively. They mercilessly sundered the queen, and with her loss, the glory days of the changelings came to a violent end.”

Together, the princesses stomped the changeling throne into dust. With the last bulwark removed, the ponies swarmed behind the facade of the hive, accompanied by a chorus of screams. The lights lowered on that ghastly scene, obscuring the stage in darkness.

“Only a scant few changelings escaped that slaughter, but they would carry the horrors of that day through generations. Everywhere the changelings settled down, we were eventually discovered and routed, again and again, until we were forced to hide among the very creatures that hated us so.”

The stage lights illuminated a horrific death march of changelings, traveling through pony-inhabited lands. The wooden cut-outs transitioned from simple wooden huts to towns and cities protected by high brick walls.

“It was only through fierceness, cunning, and versatility that the changelings survived. The Queen of the changelings must exemplify these qualities to lead her children to prosperity.”

Another changeling queen rose, this one with a horn like a curved scythe and a frazzled pink mane. She saw a pair of unicorns cuddling, and as they parted, took the appearance of one before draining the other of pink mana.
Buck stole a glance at Adagio, whose eyes seemed planted on the table, or perhaps below it. She shook her head slowly, then her eyes slid back up to watch the stage.

“For to be anything less would doom the hive.”

The changeling queens cycled through forms across generations. Here, a blue-haired, beetle-horned queen skulking through abyssinian moonlight, there a hulking red-haired queen soaring over dragon-infested crags, there an antlered, purple-haired queen, searching through ancient marbled ruins for buried crystals. 

“It seemed we were doomed to never reach the heights of our former glory, until a new queen rose. One that was determined to change the fate of the changelings; transform them back to what they once were.”

Lastly came a queen presiding over a vast horde in a vaster wasteland, her form scarred with holes, her hair like pale blue moss, her horn gnarled and twisted. She snapped at equestrian shadows as she moved. Cities collapsed in the wake of her stride.

“And that was you.” Buck murmured. “Chrysalis. Of course. It’s right there in the name.”
Across the table, Chrysalis smiled haughtily.

“My exploits across the realms are legendary. I’ve toppled pegasi kingdoms in the clouds and humbled dragon lords with my beguiling wit. I’ve stolen into the most secure kingdoms of Equestria and beyond, scoring blow after blow against the pompous, wrathful fools that dare to claim rulership.” 
Buck could nearly hear Adagio’s eyes rolling.

“Twice I came within a hair’s breadth of conquering Equestria with my forces alone, but every victory was short lived and pyrrhic. The ponies have ever been vicious opponents. They even managed to brainwash my own children and force them to fight on their behalf.”

Buck’s eyes widened with awe. Before him was a scene of Queen Chrysalis fighting single-handedly against an army composed of scores of ponies, a towering draconequus vomiting chocolate milk, and a legion of drones, their eyes swirling with insane rainbows. At the head of this force was a unicorn who looked suspiciously like Starlight Glimmer, cackling with glee as Chrysalis fled.

“My last defeat came in a final, desperate assault on Equestria. So determined was I to reinstate my kingdom, I foolishly sought the assistance of strange contemporaries.”

The stage went dark once more, then lit to reveal a scene of desperation. Queen Chrysalis stood back to back with a tiny pegasus pony and a towering figure recognized by all present. Starlight’s eyes widened in shock, as did Adagio’s as the devil himself; Lord Tirek stood shoulder to shoulder with the other two. They were surrounded on all sides by creatures great and small, most of which were ponies.

Six of them were oddly familiar; a group that Buck knew had to be that world’s version of the Rainbooms, rendered with unmistakable malice. The cornered trio desperately fired beams of light into the crowd, but the aggressors kept coming.

“Despite the bluster of my so-called allies, they were both weaklings. For the crime of briefly trusting them, I lost everything. My kingdom, my people, any semblance of hope for the future, all petrified in a prison of stone.”

A rainbow light shone down onto the stage, catching the bizarre trio in its glow. Stone raced up their forms in the blink of an eye, immortalizing the trio in grimaces of defeat; save for Queen Chrysalis, who was in the middle of lashing out. One last act of defiance, ending an era.

The curtain fell on that dour note, leaving Buck to try and process what he’d seen. He spared a glance over the table, and saw a changeling wheeling a cart over. As the drone bussed Chrysalis and Buck’s table, he caught Adagio’s eye. There was an unmistakable glint of mischief.

“I wouldn’t blame you for thinking that was the end of my tale. I certainly did.” The changeling queen said. “But it seems fate has plans for us all, even unto oblivion.”

A whooshing sound and the rip of fabric signaled the curtain’s rise, revealing one last painted backdrop: one of Canterlot’s distinctive skyline at night. Buck spied the horse-headed Tenpony Towers, the observatory complex on the northern hills, the eastern patch of woods leading to the boardwalk, and the sleepy suburban sprawl to the west.

“Salvation came in the form of a spell. A voice called out to the depths of my mind,” Chrysalis said, then the voice turned to an eerie replica of one Buck hadn’t heard before. It was low, rumbling and scratchy; full of menace. “There is a great hunger in you. Would you fulfil your grand ambition, regardless of the cost?" "I still know not to whom the voice belonged, but without hesitation, I said yes. One minute I was caught; forced for all time to contemplate the depths of my hatred for Equestria. The next, I was hurtling through a rift in existence, toward an alien destination. “A new, darker world, and with it; a new beginning.”

Another set wheeled in; one of park trees and a familiar bench, which were rent asunder in a flash of light. There stood the humanoid Queen Chrysalis, draped in a near-transparent gown of green in a smoking crater. She was battered; limping sadly toward stage right, until she saw a small young man with pale skin and brown hair. The snap of his Polaroid camera alerted the wayward Queen, and in a flash of fangs, she pounced.

The curtain dropped for the last time. The ballroom was once again awash with warm light. Chrysalis hadn't stirred during the whole performance. She looked to Buck with a dignified scowl as the attending drones clapped in eerie unison. 
Buck awkwardly joined in on the applause. The drone Tymbal peeked out from the edge of the stage, and seemed to notice something before slinking back behind the curtain.

“What was his name?” Buck said.

“What?” Chrysalis said.

“The one human you went after when you landed. What was his name?”

“...Featherweight. As luck would have it, he is a photographer, and his mobile phone has proved an invaluable tool for research.”

“Is he alive?”

“Yes. I returned him to his dormitory when his face ceased being of use.”

“Ain't that a lose end?”

“No one will ever believe him.”

“So you just dropped him off, with all his trauma intact?”

“Why? Is this, at last, your judgment of my methods? You can say it. You think I'm a monster, and I deserved all the torment I've weathered.” Queen Chrysalis spat.

“Uh-uh. Now that I've heard your side, I understand the truth.”

“Oh? Is that so?” Queen Chrysalis spared a triumphant grin over her shoulder. Starlight glared daggers at her.

“You're a victim.” Buck said.

“What.”

Queen Chrysalis glared at Buck with all the indignity her serpentine eyes could project. For a second, it seemed she might turn him stone, but his eyes were anything but cold. The burly man seemed on the edge of tears.

“You were hated in every land you came to. Betrayed by your own people. Let down by your allies, and imprisoned, all because you care deeply for your subjects. You've always done everything in your power to keep your people alive, to be the Queen they need you to be, and your reward has been pain, loneliness, and ruin.” Buck said. His voice was smooth velvet.

“You dare to pity me?” Chrysalis said, but she couldn’t seem to muster any vigor behind her words. There may have been a glimmer of tears in the corners of her eyes.

“Believe me, I get it. The cruelty of colonizers has been scarred across my people’s history as well. This whole nation was built on it.”

“Disgusting. Doesn’t it eat at you?” Chrysalis said. She kept Buck’s eye, daintily offering a hand, which he took.

“It does. Much like Equestria, this country abandons its children. If you can’t pay for the things you need, you get left to rot. And things’re gettin’ more expensive all the time.”

“If money is what you’re after, know that it is no object. I can acquire as much as you could ever want.”

“And how do I know this isn’t just a hustle? What’s stopping you from handing us over to your pals, the cloaks?”

“My word, of course.”

“Come on, now. I may be dumb as hell, but I’m not stupid. You could have zombies stashed all over the place, waiting for the right moment to jump out and bite my dick off.”

“Why is that the first thing you thought of-no, nevermind. Purple Prose, I’m not giving you to the…cloaks, as you say.”

“Do you know who they are?” Buck said. The tabled trio sat up at attention. Chrysalis narrowed her eyes.

“They call themselves the Order of the Horned Lord. They claim to worship that blowhard, Tirek, but their true god is hatred itself.”

Buck’s mouth drooped open in shock, his hand closing into a fist. At the adjacent table, Starlight’s eyes filled with unmistakable fury.

“…so they really did learn how to bring people back.”

“You’re familiar with these creatures?”

“A bit, yeah. Which makes me wonder what the hell you’re doing teaming up with them?” Buck said.
As the Queen of the changelings grappled with her next words, there was a shift of cloth beneath the table. Buck felt something lightly tap the top of his foot. His only response was to point at Adagio, Starlight, and Sunburst’s table with his shoe.

“I have been cooperating with them under duress. You have seen the state of my children; this land is emotionally anemic.”

“Oof. Yeah, good luck finding a genuine love connection out in the big city. Might as well go looking for bigfoot; you’ll find him faster.”

“I was offered a meager stipend of mana in exchange for the use of my drones. They have served as eyes and ears throughout Canterlot, searching for “candidates” for the cult.”

“Candidates?”

“People who are…emotionally fraught. Unstable. The cult creates chaos around the more resilient ones, so they can harness the negative mana that bleeds out of them.”

“Yeah, that…that sounds familiar.” Buck said. “What do they do with the uh…less resilient ones?”
Chrysalis looked at Buck, and for a moment, her disguise slipped. Buck saw sharp green eyes, ringed with bags from years of stress.

“...right. Zombies.” Buck said. The details, he decided, were best not speculated on.

“They surely have the same fate planned for my family, regardless of how well I serve their cause.” Chrysalis said.

“That’s awful.” Buck said.

“I wanted nothing to do with them, of course, but you must understand; I was new to this world. They provided me with mana, and knowledge of this new hunting ground. For the sake of my kingdom, I had to ally with them.” Chrysalis said, lifting her chin. She looked at Buck with a desperate regality. “And, as my people have always done, I’ve learned about humankind, and what they are capable of.”

The threat hung in the air like a guillotine blade. Sunburst saw Canterlot annihilated in a nuclear blast. Starlight saw herself overwhelmed by a horde of undead. Adagio saw Buck, turned to a shambling ghoul, animated by hatred.

“And I think I can do it better.” 

Silence. Even the band had gone quiet. Buck looked over at his friends, eyes wide with fear. They all looked shaken, save for Starlight Glimmer.

The look in Starlight Glimmer’s eyes was past anger or righteous indignation. Her bright blue eyes looked like a white abyss of pure hatred.
Adagio scooted away from her.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong. You humans can be deliciously cruel. In order to keep me in line, they’ve been more than happy to leave me and my family to starve under a prison of snow. They think they’ve subdued me. Hah!” Chrysalis said, with a high, unhinged chuckle. “Who’s laughing now, Minuette?”

“Minuette? You mean, uh, blue skin? Kinda toothpasty hair?” Buck said.

“...You’ve met?”

“Yeah, with her girlfriend. They were on a date, I think. She seemed so normal, before. Huh. That’s too bad.” Buck said.
And there was an odd moment of silence at the table, where Buck had to reconcile with the idea that someone he’d just met recently was dead, while, across the table, Queen Chrysalis, Ruler of the Changelings, had to grapple with the idea that the ghastly grinning revenant that had been the bane of her existence just lately…has a girlfriend, and probably fucks. 

“Wait, she’s a baddie?” Buck said.

“No, she’s dead.” Chrysalis snorted. 

“Right, those guy’s’re all zombies.”

“No, fool! Dead again! Burned to a cinder out on the hill. By your little friends, over there.” Chrysalis prodded.

“Woah, that’s, uh…uh, go team, I guess?” Buck said. 

“Pragmatic.” Queen Chrysalis smirked. “I can’t defeat the order on my own, with my dying brood, nor can I run from them. And even if I did, without my intervention, they’ll surely get desparate and redouble their efforts.”

“And, if you happened to have a guy like me on your team? What happens then?” Buck said.

“Then I could take my children and flee. I could keep them fed, no matter where we might roam. I could begin my kingdom all over again.” Chrysalis said.

“Your kingdom?” Buck said.

Buck’s eyes flashed red for the briefest moment. He sat, elbow on the table, holding up his cheek as he smirked at the creature that ought to be his mortal enemy. There was a sudden, red heat in the air around the table. 
Queen Chrysalis, the Queen of the Changelings, flinched.

“…actually, I think I’d like to take a break.” Buck yawned, stretching his arms.

“What?”

“Ma’am, that was a lot of exposition. I think I need to take a stroll, or lay down, you know, shake the cobwebs out of my head.”

“We still have much to discuss, Purple Prose.”

“Mm. Maybe we can talk about what we both want in a more private place? Like your bedroom?” Buck said.
Now it was Adagio’s turn to seethe.

“How forward! Is now really the time for such talk?” Chrysalis balked, in mock shock.

“I dunno, how long do you wanna pretend like this isn’t gonna happen?” Buck said, and his fingers brushed the Queen’s ear, then slid down her neck, then along her collarbone with scalpel precision.
The Queen’s face quivered in a liminal space between indignity, amusement, and arousal. Her cheeks burned green as she muttered.

“Tymbal!”

The attendants halted mid-step. Tymbal scrambled out from behind the curtain, clipboard in one hand. She had ascended to a stage of frantic anxiety,” looking like she was fraying at the very edges of her being. 

“Yes?” Tymbal squeaked.

“Have my chambers been prepared?” 

“Yes, y-your, other uhm…p-p-presentation has been-”

“Wonderful, excellent, thank you very much, we'll be retiring for the evening now.” Queen Chrysalis said.

Buck rose and offered his arm with a smile.

And with a final, sadistic side-eye to Adagio, Queen Chrysalis took Buck by the arm and left the ballroom.





Tymbal let out a long exhale as the grand white doors swung shut. She wiped sweat from her brow, then clapped her hands briskly.

“Alright, people! Everyone take a break! We start clean up in ten minutes! I’m g-g-going to go sit on the steps for a while.” Tymbal said. The distressed drone took her leave as every drone within earshot plopped into a sitting position like an army of trained hounds.

A collective sigh exhaled across the ballroom, heads bowing drowsily as the changelings took a rare break from their constant bustling. That moment was all Adagio needed.

The green gloop covering the four mouths splattered onto the table. Sunburst mumbled an incantation as Starlight rose, holding a glowing quartz crystal in one hand.

In a swirl of blue and yellow light, lassos of magical force violently yanked each and every changeling up to the vaulted ballroom ceiling. Before any of them could so much as hiss, their mouths were bound with bands of mana.

“How do you like it!?” Starlight said. 

Scootaloo rolled out from under the table, taking a faux kung-fu pose until she realized the action was already over.

“Woah! You gotta teach me that spell!” Scootaloo said.

Starlight swept Sunburst into a squeeze. She was quivering, trying to find a path through the clashing anxiety and relief.

“Are you hurt?” Starlight said. “Did that monster do anything to you?”

“Am I hurt? What happened to you?” Sunburst said.

“A little bit of everything.” Starlight let off a rattling, humorless laugh. “Did…did you hear what she said?”

“Starlight, I’m so, so sorry-”

“Later. Let’s move, children!” Adagio said, already passing through the great doors.

The lobby of the hive was just as they’d left it; vacant, beat up and slightly on fire. The front door was still blocked by a wall of snow. Sunburst took Starlight’s arm over his shoulder, carefully supporting her as she moved down the staircase with her bum leg.

“And what happened in here?” Sunburst said.

“We fought, uh…well-” Starlight mumbled.

“They made an evil clone of you. A chittering madman, hurling insults and spells. I killed it.” Adagio said.

“Zoinks!” Sunburst said. “...was, was it cool?”

“No!” Starlight and Adagio said in unison.

“And they made one of Buck, too. And Adagio.” Starlight said.

“Well, I’ve just missed everything interesting.” Sunburst grumbled.

“Oh, before we go, check this out!” Scootaloo said. She scrambled to the foot of the stairs and kicked the crate of quartz out into the open.

“Wow! Fantastic job, Scoots! I was wondering where you got those crystals!” Sunburst said. “Also, what are you doing here?” 
Scootaloo turned red and glanced at Starlight, who was looking sternly at her with crossed arms. Adagio was frowning at a bit of quartz in her hand as if it were a bottle of bitter medicine. No help.

“Waitaminute, wait, this isn’t my fault, okay, because something sketch was happening downtown, and there were these changelings and this portal, and-!”

And Starlight pulled Scootaloo into a tight hug.

“I didn’t get to say it before, but thank you. You did great.” Starlight said.

“Sunburst, would you go ahead and heal her ankle?” Adagio said.

“Sure enough. Actually, everyone gather around. Starlight?” Sunburst said.

“Right.” Starlight said.

In a quick flurry of chalk, Starlight drew a spell circle on the ground. Sunburst mumbled into a chunk of quartz as Adagio and Scootaloo gathered around him.

A warming beam of yellow light engulfed the group, and when it faded, all their nicks, scratches, and bruises went with it.
Scootaloo was instantly sitting, trying to bash her cast apart with her pocket knife’s handle.

“Hands up.” Starlight said.

In a blue flash, the plaster boot shattered open.

“YES! Ohmigoshohmigoshohmigosh you have no idea how itchy my foot is fuuuuuuck!” Scootaloo said, raking her nails up and down her ankle.

“Sunburst, do you know any stealth spells that will help us get around?”

“Already on it.” Sunburst said, flipping through Stygian’s Spellbook. 

“You all, handle the hostages.” Adagio said. She was already several paces away.

“What are you going to do?” Sunburst said.

“I’m going to follow my nose. Something in this hive is…”

“...A little fishy?” Scootaloo snickered. Adagio refused to dignify that with a response.

“What about Buck?” Sunburst said.

“Buck is very handily buying us time, and I won’t be interrupting him.” Adagio said stiffly. Starlight gawped, affronted.

“You can’t be serious. He’s about to be locked in a room with a manipulative monster for the second time today. There’s no way he can-”

Adagio took an aggressive stomp toward Starlight, pointing at her frowning face. “Do you think Buck believes in that tripe he was just fed? Do you honestly believe he was so won over by the Queen’s charm that he’s become a sympathizer? Had you been paying the slightest bit of attention, you would have noticed he was leading her on.”

“What?” Starlight said.

“Stroking her ego, telling her just what she wants to hear, and subtly promising to give her what she wants. He’s manipulating her.” Adagio said.

“Buck isn’t like that.” Starlight growled. “He’s not like you.”

“How would you know?” Adagio said.

“...I know he’s worthy of trust.”

“Oh, do you now? It sure took you a while, Starlight, I’m glad you’re finally here with the rest of us!” 

“Don’t you start-” Starlight began, but Adagio cut her off.

“Save it. Buck has this situation under control. I’m going to find out what Chrysalis is hiding, and when I’m finished, I’ll bring it and Buck back.”

“How will-”

“I’ll find you.”

Before anyone could interject, Adagio was running down a hallway, tracing Buck’s scent.





Meanwhile, uh…somewhere else in the hive, Buck and Chrysalis strolled down a dark, green lit corridor. Like all the rest of the halls in this crazy place, Buck thought. Suite doors passed by, one after another, though Buck noticed for the first time that the numbers had been removed, making navigation in this place a cruel joke.

“Did I hear that right? You’ve got something else planned for the night?” Buck said.

“You couldn’t imagine the plans I have for you, Purple Prose.” Queen Chrysalis said.

“Can I take a guess?” Buck smirked.

“I’d prefer to just show you.”

A hole opened in the dark stone wall, revealing the Queen’s lavish suite. A shimmering chandelier lit the room with a soft red glow. A vanity mirror sat against one wall, totally bereft of any creepy photographs, though now sporting a charming vase filled with roses. Across from it was a sprawling four-poster bed with shining silk covers, upon which lay a veritable harem.

Buck gasped in disbelief. He saw Scootaloo in skimpy lingerie, lounging with Saffron Marsala, Moon Dancer, Smolder, Berry Punch, and, surprisingly, Mrs. Cake. They were all beckoning with seductive exuberance. There was even an Adagio with exaggerated tassels over her nipples. She cowered meekly in the back of the crowd. 
On the side of the bed was a Ditzy Doo wearing nothing but an apron, standing behind a snack cart covered in pastries. 

“...are those?” Buck said.

“Creampies. I know you’re fond of them.” Queen Chrysalis purred as the wall closed behind her and Buck.

“Not my first question! Those are changelings, yeah?”

“Yes. Drones that I have trained in a highly specific regimen.”

“Why’s Mrs. Cake there?”

“I saw you get an erection when she yelled at you.”

“Ah-but, I, uh…!” Buck said, in a fumbling attempt at forming words. Chrysalis squeezed his bicep with deliberate firmness.

“Buck, I’ve studied you. I know the women you’re connected with, and whom you desire.” Queen Chrysalis said. “I can give them to you; any of them, all of them. You can have any concubine you want, and they will happily answer any request you make of them. I can fulfill all of your desires with a wave of my hand. All I ask is you give me the mana you radiate in the interim.”

“To feed your kids?”

“Yes, for a start.” Queen Chrysalis said. “It will take effort to acclimate to your exquisitely potent stock. But in time, I’m sure you and the hive will find a certain rapport.”

As she spoke, Chrysalis pulled Buck to the bed with slow, insistent strides. She had him by the tie, speaking with a regent’s confidence. The harem cooed and touched the hem of Buck’s clothes, a lock of his hair, the tips of his fingers, as if aching for a piece of him.

“The changelings have never had a provider the likes of you. With your blazing heat, we can forge a new, stronger generation. With your love and passion, my children never need to go hungry again. You can teach them the ways of this world; where the cracks in the walls are and how to squeeze through them.” Chrysalis said. 

“I…uh…” Buck grunted. The Queen’s nails raked gently up and down his chest. Her plump curves, her honeyed words her fierce, hungry eyes were intoxicating.

“Canterlot has nothing but contempt for you. There, you are surrounded by judgment and cruelty. But here? You could be at the head of an empire, living a life of endless luxury, surrounded by every whim and adulation you could desire. You would never again need to worry over where your next meal will come from. All who shunned you will become nothing but a distant memory. Or they will come to serve you.”

Buck shuddered at a sudden sensation by his hip. The Ditzy clone was on her knees at his side, her heavy breasts pressed against his leg. She looked at him with her yellow doe eyes, pressing her temple against his hand like a needy puppy. Buck was about to touch her; to push her away or maybe to stroke her hair, when he was yanked forward.

Queen Chrysalis had a firm grip on his tie, and Buck saw a familiar predation in her sharp green eyes. Her breath was as hot and bitter as black coffee.

“Join me. Become the father of changelings, and together, we can create a new world. A better world.”  

“So, you…you want to keep me here, so I can have non-stop orgies with copies of whatever women I want, so you can harvest my boner energy like a perpetual-motion fuck machine.” Buck said.

“That is…one way to put it, yes. What do you think?” Chrysalis purred.

“I think…I almost forgot this is a porn story.” Buck said.





The rules of changelings were as basic as they come; so simple, young drones were taught them within minutes of their first molt.

“Only the Queen acts alone,” “When one drone feeds, so must the rest,” and  “Everyone besides a changeling is food. Food cannot be trusted; it disappears too quickly.”  The rule that Gregor favored most was; “A changeling is never lost. They are always guided by their hunger.” This was the core motivation of all changelings, Gregor included. That’s why he had followed the humans in the caves so closely, and why he’d bravely approached them, and somehow, that had led him here. 

Gregor was full, and without his drive to feed, he was lost.

He was trapped in a cocoon of slime in a dark space he knew was the pantry, for there were captured humans at his left and right. There was a stinging red burn in his throat, glowing like coal in his black chest. It struck him as unfair that his people had many words for food, yet not a single one for this feeling. A thin tear trailed down his cheek as he writhed against his gooey bonds. 

As Gregor the wayward drone struggled in vain, he croaked in a voice he didn’t recognize from anyone else. 

His own voice.

“Hurts. Friends. Help.”

Suddenly, Greg heard a wet tearing noise, and the cocoon fell out beneath him. He hit the ground wetly, wiping the slime from his eyes in confusion.

Through the darkness, Greg could barely make out three figures.

“And we’re sure this is safe?” An unfamiliar voice said.

“Somebodies’ gotta lead the way outta here!” Said another, more familiar rasp.

“That’s true. We were lucky we even made it here.” Said a third.

It was three drones, like Greg, but there was something strange about them. Their proportions were oddly exaggerated: lithe, tall forms with shapely legs and thin waists.
Greg hissed quizically in the changeling dialect, but the three just looked bewildered. As one approached Greg, its shiny black carapace flickered yellow and sparked away. It was Starlight Glimmer.

“Sunburst, we have to work on your longevity.” Starlight said.

“Hey, come on, it’s not my fault my mana’s piddly.” Sunburst said, and his disguise popped as well, followed by Scootaloo’s.

“Aw, man! I wanted to see if the wings work!” Scootaloo said.

“They don’t. Mistmane’s Tantalizing Transformation, contrary to the name, is only a disguise. Sorry, Scoots.” Sunburst said.

“Oh well. It was kinda cool not having boobs for a bit.” Scootaloo said. “Why’d we all look like Starlight, though?”

“It, uh, changes based on what the caster finds attractive.” Sunburst said with a bashful smile.

“Can we focus!?” Starlight barked with a blush. “Greg. That’s your name now, right?”

“Greg.” Greg said in Buck’s voice. He shuffled away from Starlight as she approached.

“Greg, look, I’m sorry about…how I talked about you, but we need your help. We’re going to get these people out, but we need someone to show us the way. I know I haven’t known you long, but from what I’ve seen and heard, you’re not bad.”

“Greg not bad?”

“No.”

“Not…evil? Came from evil.” Greg said, his voice tapering into Starlight’s.

While they spoke, Scootaloo tossed herself up to the cocoons with an air burst, and as she went about cutting the cocoons open, Sunburst caught the captives in a flickering field of mana, lowering them carefully to the ground.

“Will you help us, Greg? I’m sure Buck would appreciate it, too.”
Before Starlight could even finish the sentence, Gregor buzzed into the air on his thing, gossamer wings, and with a rake of his claw, released another person from a cocoon.
Starlight joined Sunburst, grabbing his hand. The telekinetic field bloomed in size, just in time to catch the people Greg and Scootaloo were saving. Sunburst smiled at her, an unmistakable pride and admiration in his eyes. Their shared spell was sparkling blue, but it flickered with an unmistakable pink ember.

As the group set themselves to the task of rescue, they failed to notice a pair of eyes noticing them.





“What do you mean, you want them gone!?” Chrysalis balked.

Back in the bedroom, Buck was grinning ear to ear as the harem looked confused and even a bit offended.

“Goan, girls. Thanks for your time, take a break!” Buck said, clapping his hands like an off-broadway theater director. The assembled changeling caricatures of most of the women in his life moved to the door, single file.
Chrysalis was aghast.
“Amazing work on the outfits, there, good job! Mrs. Cake, I see that wobbly stride, that’s it, that’s exactly how she moves, good job! Smolder? That Smolder is fantastic, she looks hot as hell and I should not be seeing her naked right now, holy shit, it’s been years! Goan, get going!”

“Drones, stay!” Chrysalis said, and the procession halted stiffly, turning as a phalanx to face the Queen. “What is the meaning of this?”

“There’ll be plenty of time for these girls later. Tonight’s about us.” Buck said.

“Tonight? It’s barely past four.” Chrysalis said.

“It’ll be tomorrow by the time I turn you loose.” Buck growled.

The harem changelings ooh’ed and tittled, by the door. The Queen of the Changelings full on blushed; a glowing green warmth flooding her face.

“Children? Leave.” Chrysalis said.

A stampede of impractical shoes scrambled out of the room, leaving the door slightly ajar. They were alone, or so they thought. From the bed, there was only darkness in that hallway, but in a few brief moments, a single eye moved to peer through the cracked door with a vouyeristic intensity.

“Nice girls. Please tell me they’re legal.” Buck said, looking down at Chrysalis. She had a peculiar anger in her eyes, almost pouty as she glared back.

“What?” Queen Chrysalis said. 

“It’s just like, if they’re not the changeling age of consent, this whole thing is unethical beyond the fucking pale, and I don’t think-”

“Yes, they are legal! They are fully formed adults, good gods, but you talk a lot!” Chrysalis snapped.

“Heh, I’ve been told.” Buck said, but as he looked at Chrysalis, his face softened. “Okay…what’s wrong?”

The Queen of the Changelings shuffled uncomfortably, moving her legs from around Buck’s waist. He sat next to her on the tip of the bed, and tenderly touched her thigh, but she flinched, crossing her arms.

“I’ve offended you.” Buck said.

“You have been pushing your luck since you arrived, Purple Prose. You have the world on a silver platter, should you fulfil your duty, yet you seem…unconcerned about the gravity of this negotiation. Your glibness is distressing.” Chrysalis said, turning away from him.

“Oh, you don’t think I’m taking this seriously,” Buck said. “Listen…hey, look at me.”
Buck’s hand slid to her shoulder, and she turned to glare daggers at him with her sharp green eyes.

“I’m sorry. How ‘bout I try again?” Buck said.

“...You may.” Chrysalis said.

Buck sat up straight with a small, stately smile.

“What I meant to say, is that I want this to be intimate. The big gestures are nice; you’ve really put in a lot of effort, and it shows.”

“...go on.”

“But I’ve been learning about my mana, and how to drag it out. It’s not about big set pieces, or rose petals and desserts, or any of that. It’s about this.” Buck said.

He offered his palm to Chrysalis, who placed her delicate fingers atop it.

“I just want to make sure you understand what it is you’re askin’ me.” 

“My terms couldn’t be clearer, Purple Prose.”

“No, that’s…I mean, you want my mana. My love and passion.
Chrysalis blushed, looking away.

“Is it…not possible for you to develop feelings for a creature such as I?” Chrysalis said. “You humans are fearful of things you don’t understand.”
The Queen’s voluptuous disguised form fell away, until only her bashful, downcast eyes remained, hiding behind a lock of dark green hair.

“How can we know if we don’t try?” Buck said.

Buck gently tucked Chrysalis’ hair behind her ear. Her eyes held a mixture of fear and longing. She stuttered silently for a second, her mouth moving silently until she seemed to find her regal bearing, grabbing on to it like a flashlight in the dark.

“V-very well!" Chrysalis said, powering through her embarassment. "Shall we begin?”

“Yeah, but, if we’re gonna do this, I’ve got one condition. Er…two.” Buck said.

“Two!?”

“One, I want your real form.”

Chrysalis gestured broadly at herself, the dark, shriveled human form. 

“I said your real form.” Buck said. The biting green gaze widened with shock.

“Why would you…I…fine.” Queen Chrysalis stammered.

For a moment, a green flash overtook the ruddy, sultry lighting. And there was the Queen of the Changelings in her full glory, laying on the lavish bedspread.
Her hair hung like deep green moss across a thin, pitch-black muzzle, a bent, gnarled horn rising from her forehead. Her form sat sprawled across the blanket like an elegant giraffe at rest, her long, thin neck trailing toward a midsection that glimmered green like a jeweled beetle. Gossamer wings punched through with holes gave a nervous cricket’s buzz as Buck’s eyes traveled along her alien form, her long green curtain of a tail swishing to cover a tight, plump backside. Even her legs, tucked beneath her, seemed a marvel; like black stone castle towers, the dark skin pulled over tight, bulging thigh muscles. With every breath she took, the holes in her limbs contracted. Her eyes were black trenches in an enormous green sea, bug-bulging and ringed with dark circles.

“Oh.” Buck said.

“Well?” Queen Chrysalis said. An indignant hesitation was plain on her face. “I understand if my form is horrific to you. You are just a human, after-”

“You’re beautiful.” Buck said. His had glided to Chrysalis’ quivering, toothy snout. He tilted her chin up, grinning tenderly at her long, fluttering eyelashes. His lips drifted close to hers, the distance shrinking in the space of a shared sigh.
And then, something truly bizarre happened. Something that none of the parties involved could have foreseen or planned for, not Queen Chrysalis, not Buck, and least of all Adagio Dazzle, who crouched behind the cracked door, watching with an indescribable heat in her eyes.

Purple Prose kissed the Queen of the Changelings, and for just a moment, it was real. 

Adagio watched as Buck’s fingers slid tenderly through the Queen’s hair; watched as she leaned forward into Buck’s lips, and her left forehoof folded neatly over the other in an almost chaste way. She watched as their lips separated with a flirtatious reluctance, Buck quickly stealing a parting peck as Chrysalis pulled away, and they shared a smoldering stare as they became the only two people in the world for this one quiet stretch of intimacy.

“And…your second request?” Chrysalis said. 

Buck stood, unbuttoning his pants.
His great purple cockhead flopped out with a proverbial swish of the cape, the angry vein bulging down his shaft. Chrysalis looked at it with new eyes, like it was the barrel of a cannon.

“I want you to call me your King.” 





A mob of beleaguered hostages shuffled nervously down one of the hive’s darkened corridors. Trauma hung from the bags under their eyes as they looked around, bewildered beyond belief, wondering just what in the world would happen to them next.

“So…what are we going to do if a patrol finds us?” Scootaloo said from one of the crowd’s flanks. Her breath came out as white fog, and she rubbed her shoulders.

“Run.” Sunburst said from the other side.

“Fight.” Starlight said from the rear.

“Friends?” Gregor suggested from the head of the pack.

“Friends! Starbright, Sunburnt, my favorite customers, thank you so much for what you’ve done today! Both of you are getting a discount in my store!” Said Cauldron Bubbles, whose pure panic had dropped past denial and anger, directly into bargaining. “Actually, if we make it out of here, everyone gets a discount! Haha! That’s Cauldron Bubble’s Sanctum of Sorcery; Canterlot’s own cradle of arcane delights!!”

“Keep it down! We’re not out of the woods yet!” Starlight whispered.

“That would be helpful, though. We could trim down our crystal budget.” Sunburst said.

“You…sell sex toys, right? I think Buck said something about that.” Scootaloo.

“Oh, you know Purple Prose? Are you Moon Dancer’s friends?” Cauldron Bubbles gasped. “Wait, wait, is she here?”

“...who?” Scootaloo said.

“Moon Dancer! She’s like a second daughter to me. When my shop was attacked, I feared she might have been captured, but-”

“Save it for later! We’re still in enemy territory.” Starlight said.

“She’s right. The only way we’re getting out of here is if we cooperate. Come on everyone, single file, inside voices.” said another voice. The crowd moved like a deeply disturbed kindergarten class, murmuring in low, distressed voices.
Scootaloo whirled around to see a familiar if sallow face.

“Silver Spoon! Hey!” Scootaloo said.

Silver Spoon quickly straightened up and patted herself down.
“Oh, uh, hi, Scootaloo!” Silver Spoon said, looking like the picture of confidence, if it were drawn in crayon. “You look…good!”

“Gee, thanks.” Scootaloo frowned. “Have you been getting my texts? I guess not.”

“Hahaha!” Silver Spoon laughed, a little loudly. Scootaloo, and a portion of the hostages looked at her, confused. “...no.” Silver Spoon sighed. “I’ve been here. In a cocoon. For a month.”

“Oh yeah, right, a changeling’s been giving Ditzy therapy.” Scootaloo said, scratching her head.

“That’s not possible. It wasn’t therapy, it was spying.” Starlight said.

“Not probable.” Silver Spoon said. “Changelings are adaptable by nature, and their minds absorb information rapidly. It isn’t unheard of for a changeling to develop useful skills o-overnight.”

“How would you know?” Starlight said.

“I didn’t say that.” Silver Spoon said.

All eyes snapped to the back of the line, where two Silver Spoons stood side-by-side.
The crowd screamed, but a sparkling blue veil of silence fell over them.

“We don’t have time for this.” Starlight barked, pointing a glowing finger at the twin Silver Spoons. “So, I’m going to make this simple. We are getting these people out of here, whether you like it or not. Whoever you are, give up before I get nasty.”

One of the Silver Spoons, the one less haggard and raggedy, cringed and shifted back to the drone Tymbal, her pale blue eyes wincing, expecting instant punishment.

“I-I-I-I-” Tymbal stammered, paralyzed.

“HURRY IT UP!” Starlight shouted.

“I-I-I surrender!” Tymbal said.

But no violence came for the drone. Instead, Starlight kept her finger trained on the spy, her glare steely, but her voice softening.

“I know you. You were the one doing all the busy work in the ballroom. What do you want?” Starlight said. Scootaloo and Sunburst moved to stand at her sides.

“I-I want to help.” Tymbal said. 

“Wait a minute. If you’re here, does that mean you let us escape? What happened to the drones in the ballroom?” Sunburst said.





Minutes previous, the bands of force keeping the drones pressed against the ceiling vanished. Despite malformed, unfinished wings, most of them managed to buzz slowly down to the floor like a swarm of angry hornets. But before they could charge after their attackers, Tymbal stepped into the ballroom.
She froze up as all eyes fell on her, but after a moment, regained her composure.

“The Queen says you’ve all done such a good job, you can have the leftovers from the feast!” Tymbal said.

The drones’ eyes all turned at once to the table and food cart, their maws drooling. But they stood still, like well-trained dogs.

“D-D-Dig in!”

The table disappeared beneath a swarm of snapping mouths and hungry stomachs.





“Well that’s one way to do it!” Sunburst said, but though he visibly relaxed, Starlight didn’t withdraw her glowing finger.

“I…the reason that the Queen uses me as a spy is because I n-notice things. M-m-maybe, sometimes, I notice things she doesn’t. Like…like, this one sneaking in to help you.”

She pointed to Scootaloo, who blushed bashfully.

“If you knew, why didn’t you sell us out?” Scootaloo said.

“I-I-I noticed other things. I don’t like the Queen’s plan.”

“There’s no chance she’s after a genuine fresh start in this world, is there?” Sunburst said.

“She is. But not for herself. Th-th-the Queen’s planning has flaws. Sh-sh-she puts her focus on one big goal and f-f-f-forgets about everything else. Even things that a-are obviously going to happen.” Tymbal said.

“Like what?” Sunburst said.

“Friends?” Said Gregor, from way down the hall. He’d found the lobby again, which flashed a stark white, then shook with a roll of thunder. “This is bad.”

Gregor was pointing upward at a hole which had been burned through the ceiling, three floors up and the roof. The defenders of Canterlot rushed to join Gregor, squinting up through the chasm.

“Like that.” Tymbal said.

The sky howled with the threat of an ice storm. Dark clouds hunched over the Little Snow Drop in, ready to unleash a furious, unseasonable downpour, and that wasn’t the worst of it. High above the cloud cover shone a strange spot in the sky; as if a painter had dribbled a bit of black on the canvas while rendering a monsoon. It hung there, clouds circling it like a great drain. It glared like an unmoving eclipse, and it spelled certain destruction. A rift.

“Oh…this is like what happened with Wind Sprint.” Scootaloo said.

“It’s worse. Th-the things the Queen has been working with made trapped us in here with heavy snow.” Tymbal said.

“Which dropped the temperature. And then Adagio let off a burst of heat into the air with a spell out in the snowdrift…” Sunburst continued.

“And Buck. Boom.” Gregor said.

Another roll of thunder shook the hotel’s windows. Thick, half-frozen snowdrops splattered through the hole in the roof, steaming up as they landed. In the odd shaft of light coming from the rift, the air steamed with summer warmth.

“We are in the middle of a meteorological anomaly.” Sunburst said. “A huge, unnatural storm, at least.”

“And a magical rift that could, like, suck us all into another dimension!” Scootaloo said.

“And Buck is somewhere around here getting laid.” Starlight groaned, checking her watch. “We need to close the rift; that’s priority one. Second, we get these people out of here. Greg?”

“Glimglam!” Gregor said, snapping to attention.

“No. Take these people and put them in the hotel suites. I don’t want anyone getting hurt while we handle this.”

“Starlight!” Gregor said, giving a thumbs up as he ushered the crowd. At first, nobody budged, scared to death of following a changeling’s prompting, but then Silver Spoon and Cauldron Bubbles started chattering at them, and then, with sluggish feet, the crowd moved.

“The airlift is in fifteen minutes. We’ve got that long to tie this up, if the rift doesn’t destroy everything first.” Starlight said.

“Ooh! Are they sending a helicopter?” Scootaloo said.

“Something like that. Third, we capture the Queen and stop whatever it is she’s planning.”

“L-Let me help!” Tymbal said. “I can make sure no one gets in your way!”

“...why are you helping us? You know you’re betraying your Queen, right? Your people?”

“My Queen is, uhm…old fashioned. Sh-She can’t see how she’s hurting us. This isn’t a betrayal; this is helping my people. I-I want to help us heal.” Tymbal said. “And…”

Gregor the changeling drone stood guard beside a door, with the people whose emotions were his breakfast just this morning streaming in beside him. Tymbal looked at him with a sense of odd wonder.

“It’s easier to be brave when someone else does it first.” Tymbal said, and ran off. Starlight stared at her back as she skittered up the stairs, tripped twice, and shuffled awkwardly into the ballroom. Sunburst sidled up beside him, gently touching her shoulder.

“Seriously, are you alright?” Sunburst said.

“I’m fine.” Starlight lied. “I just…I have so many questions, I don’t even know where to start.”

“I’ve got a question for ya. How in the heckie are we supposed to get up there and do the thing?” Scootaloo said. “That thing’s in like, low orbit, or something, and it’s jacking up the weather!” 

Sunburst and Starlight looked at each other, puzzled, and in unison, as if they were reading each other’s minds, they grinned.





It’s worth noting at this point that Purple Prose was in no way an expert on horse genitalia. 

Okay, some of his more fantastical google history involved ponies; they were a fantasy staple, but he had never thought especially hard about their anatomical details. But now, in this moody lighting, on this plush bed, in this odd situation, he had a hungry curiosity and a host of little questions that needed answers.

The exotic true form of the Queen Chrysalis lay beside him, looking imploringly into his eyes after a long, tender kiss. 
This situation was so beyond what Buck expected when he shuffled into Sunburst’s van this morning. He had never been a diplomat before, and he certainly never thought he’d get this far. But none of his private doubts showed on his face as he stroked the Queen’s chin as if she were a spoiled kitten. Because, despite all his complaints, his shame, and his trauma, Buck was a professional.

He reached, elbow deep into the shadowy pool of his memories, to a far worse time in his life, and there he found some of his best memories of Her.

“Turn over, onto your back.” Buck said.

“Y-you want to mate me while I’m sprawled out like some-”

“Is that a no?”

The Queen obeyed, perhaps a bit too fast. She rolled over with awkward quickness, one of her charcoal hoofs knocking against a bed post as she spread her legs to present.
Ah. So the crotch-tits really were a thing, Buck thought. They were like two dark, swollen oranges, their green, iridescent nipples were adorably tiny; barely a pinch a piece. 

Her black vulva was long and sleek, the slit a lime green color, pearling with excited wetness. Buck could see it quivering as he ran his hand along Chrysalis’ smooth, soft inner thigh. Her clitoris, the size of a peach pit, was winking. 

“This time, you’re gonna let me do all the work.” Buck purred, crawling up beside her. His kisses fell upon her cheeks and face like tender spring rain. His rough hands drifted around her thighs and teats, only occasionally reaching down to tease her slit with the lightest of feather strokes. “How’s that, Queen? Does it feel good here? Or here…?”

The Queen gasped as Buck lightly pinched her nipple.

“You’re teasing me!” The Queen grumbled, but it jerked into a high pitch as Buck stroked just the outer edge of her labia.

“Mmm…fuck yes I’m teasing you. When’s the last time you let someone tease you, Chrysalis?” Buck said against her ear. His fingers dug into either side of her lower lips and squeezed them together, smooshing her clitoris in a cushy trap.

“Ohhh…ah, those…cursed fingers of yours are soooo…!” And she trailed off again, her tirade turning into a sweet little squeal as Buck rolled his pinching fingers around her root.

“Right…you’re not used to folks with digits, huh? Bet that massage I gave you that night felt good, didn’t it? Lemmie see, I remember you liking it right around…here.” Buck said, digging his knuckles in just behind the Queen’s left shoulder. With one hand massaging her sore muscles, and the other swishing her clitoris around, she could do little more than lean her head against Buck’s chest and shudder.

“Mmmgh…mmm…” Chrysalis cooed.

“Shhh…close your eyes. Let your King take care of you…” Buck said. “Must be somethin’ in the air over in Equestria. You horse girls are all about power dynamics. Issat what you really wanted me here for? Somebody to really work you over?”

“H-how dare you!” Chrysalis said, then gasped as Buck’s fingers spread her lower lips open.

“Lemme spoil you. You wanna be treated like a pet, or like a slut?” Buck growled in her ear.

“Like…your Queen, human.” Chrysalis said, grinning murderously.

Buck’s expression settled into the kind of burning, hungry glare that made Adagio’s toes curl.

That is to say, it was hard for Adagio to slink into the room on her shaking knees. She’d had experience as a pirate, a spy, a cat burglar, and none of it had prepared her for this. She was only a few measly feet away from the spot where Buck; the man she…where Purple Prose, the fulcrum of her own devious plan, was petting up one of the great menaces of Equestria as if she were a nervous teenager on prom night.

She watched, burning, as Buck prodded the Queen of the Changelings, desperately screaming in the back of her head that she has a mission, that this means nothing, that Buck is doing his job, and that she needs to search for the peculiar scent she’d picked up earlier.

Buck’s hand cupped one of the Queen’s teats with a tender, rolling squeeze of the fingers. He nibbled at the tip of her curved, pointed ear, and Chrysalis let out a short squeal that was almost a hiccup.

“You’re adorable.” Buck said. “C’mere. Don’t look away.”

Chrysalis was quivering. Adagio saw one of her hooves kick as Buck held her chin, locking her into intimate eye contact as he reached down to brush her winking marehood with just the tips of his thick, rough fingers.

“You…are a menace!” Chrysalis hissed. 

“Oooh, you like that, don’t you? You like gettin’ handled like this? We’ve got all the time in the world. I could play with you all night.” Buck teased, and there was no doubt in Adagio’s mind that he would shower Chrysalis with affection until someone pried him away. He was having fun, and the Queen’s half-lidded expression spoke volumes about how she felt.
Every little flick of Buck fingers threatened to escalate into a rough, knuckle-deep pistoning, but as he explored the Queen’s soaking wet folds, Buck instead opted to stroke her delicate inner lips, or squeeze her soft outer labia, or fondle the very top of her clitoral hood, all while peppering her with delicate kisses; the kind of feather-light memories of affection that made Adagio’s own lips quiver.

As Adagio sidled silently along the wall, she wondered where this version of Buck had been hiding. Whenever they had…well, his technique was relentless. Methodical, even. Buck had always mated Adagio as if he were trying to squeeze a thousand orgasms from her, pounding away with decisive, precise force. This was different.
For Adagio, it was like wandering into someone else's dream. Emotions rolled over her like rogue waves. Anger, lust, red-faced schoolyard jealousy, and an unmistakable need to see more. Somewhere far in the back was something that felt alarmingly like pride. It was hard to carry it all; Adagio felt her heart might give out for all its frantic beating.

“Does that feel good? No? How about…here?” Buck purred, pressing gently at the soft flesh at the bottom of the Queen’s hot cunt, two fingers gently probing her entrance. “It’s so easy to forget about the forchette, but it’s soooo sensitive, ain’t it? Mmm…you like that?”

“..mm…y…yes…!” Chrysalis squealed.

“Yeah? Right there?” Buck teased, sliding just the tips of his fingers in and out. The Queen squeezed his hand with her thighs as he pressed just a bit harder.

“Yes!”

“Yes what?” Buck growled. Chrysalis frowned at him, pouted, and saw that his gaze didn’t waver. Her lips parted, and with all the authority of a baby bird, she squeaked;

“Yes my King.”

“Good.”

Three thick, purple fingers slid into the Queen’s snatch with a slick pop. Chrysalis let out a warbling, fluttering moan as Buck’s reached for her inner walls.

Adagio’s nails tore the tacky hotel wallpaper. How could Buck treat his enemy with so much care? How could he think the Queen of the Changelings truly deserved of this tenderness, when Adagio had put in so much work to-  *THUD*

White hot pain shot up Adagio’s shin. She had smacked her leg against the Queen’s vanity mirror. Inbetween seconds of agony, she snatched the vase full of roses from the air and replaced it on the table.

“Son of a-!” Adagio started, but she covered her lips and ducked low just as Chrysalis popped her head up.

“What was that?” The Queen said.

“What? This?” Buck said, and his fingers searched upward until they found a rough patch of flesh near the top, just a few inches in. The root of the Queen’s clitoris.

“Oooh! Ah! That is…! That’s…”

“Good?” Buck said, pianoing the g-spot gently.

“Very…very good…yes.” Chrysalis laid back, her head thumping against the silk pillows. One of her hooves rested against Buck’s chest, while her thighs refused to budge even an inch in squeezing down on his wrist.

“God damn you’re cute.” Buck said. “Close your eyes…let me play with you some more, Queen. You work sooo hard…you deserve some real pampering. Just relax.”

“Kiss me more.” Queen Chrysalis muttered. Buck leaned down, and their lips met again. The Queen of the Changelings shivered, moaning against Buck’s lips as he fingered her G-spot. The room filled with the sounds of rhythmic slishing and little lip pecks, cut through by the occasional husky, buzzing moan.

Meanwhile, down on the floor, Adagio tried to regain some measure of focus. Through the sweet, hot taste of Buck’s affection and the Queen’s peculiar licorice-flavored sentiment, there was a deep burning incense coming from beneath the floor. 

Adagio was burning inside. She wanted to rip out Buck’s heart, lock it in a box and keep it by her bedside. She wanted to chain up Queen Chrysalis and throw her into an ocean trench. She wanted to ask her sisters if she deserved the ache in her chest.
Despite everything, a singular thought sat bitterly on the tip of Adagio’s tongue; that this was wrong. This dynamic should have been hers. She could have had this.

Adagio closed her eyes and found them wet. Her knees creaked the floorboards as she groped blindly for that strange, dark taste; Buck’s love having gone dark and syrupy and mixed with savory fear. She’d followed it to that blasphemous doppleganger before, but it hadn’t come from him. It came from beneath the floorboards. She sniffed deeply until the mana’s flavor filled her nose and mouth.

“...there.” Adagio whispered.

Adagio pulled a moth-eaten rug aside, and discovered that Buck wasn’t the only one exploring strange dark holes today. The scent of his fermenting mana tickled her nose as it rose from a tunnel of black stone in the floor. It was big enough to allow a person to pass, but Adagio couldn’t see the bottom, just a gradual slope. She stealthily slid her legs over the edge, and was just about to slide down when she felt a gaze on her. 

Adagio’s blood froze as she looked up, slowly. It was Buck. His droopy golden eyes looked down at Adagio like two suns being eclipsed by his cock, which bounced distractingly in Adagio’s face as the man continued to finger fuck the enemy of all mankind. He looked tired.

“Ahh…Ah! There! There…!” Queen Chrysalis moaned.

Adagio thought there might be steam rising from her head, but Buck looked at her like she'd bumped into to him on the street, making him drop an armful of groceries.

A single word flashed like a miniature neon sign over his bewildered expression.

“Rescue?”

Adagio shook her head quickly. Buck’s brow furrowed.

“TFYM NUH-UH!?” The fancy smoldered.

Adagio gestured broadly at the hole in the floor, then turned her head haughtily. Buck frowned.

“Yes, Purple Prose! Yes! Yes, right there!” Queen Chrysalis squealed.

Buck’s exaggerated shrug spoke volumes as he turned away from Adagio and back to the bed. A fancy flashed across his back now, a bit dim.

“Don’t forget me here.” It said.
Adagio nodded with all the professionalism she could muster.
“You’re blushing.” Said another fancy. The hint of a smile curled at the corner of Buck's mouth, like the blinding curve of a solar eclipse.

Adagio disappeared into the hole in the floor, just as Buck stuck his whole hand into the hole in front of him.
He could feel the Queen's snatch squeezing down on his digits, almost like a handshake as he suddenly dug in deep.
"Oh!? Ohhh....!" Chrysalis groaned, her knees quaking. As Buck rolled his hand inside her, scratching against her wet depths, there was a flash of red, and a high cracking sound. Chrysalis gasped and recoiled. 
"Wait...stop!"

And that's just what Buck did, his lascivious glare softening. Chrysalis shuffled away from him, lifting the changeling stone in her hoof. A piece had chipped off.

"Are you alright?" Buck said.

"No the...your energy is overwhelming the changeling stone. I've only ever seen this happen once before." Chrysalis said, looking at Buck with what seemed like genuine fear.

"Oh, right. That's been happening with it, yeah...I should've warned you."

"What...are you?" Chrysalis said, and Buck just scratched his head, at a loss.

“We really don’t have to keep going.” Buck said.

"What?" Chrysalis blinked at him, frowning, confused.

“I mean, if this is too much, we can stop. The sex isn’t really the point, we can just sit and talk.” Buck said. "I know my mana is a lot, you know?"

Chrysalis  looked at the cracked stone, then her hooves for a moment. She chuckled under her breath, and looked up at Buck with a strangely tender smile.

"What am I doing?" Chrysalis said.

“Huh?”

“Purple Prose…I think…I’m ready, now. Take off the necklace.”

"Really? You wanna take in my mana? Aren't you scared?"

"Do it." Chrysalis said.

Buck gently lifted the stone from her neck. She was close now, watching him with defiant eyes. The chain briefly got caught on her horn. Chrysalis giggled and even tugged her horn away playfully, but Buck managed to get it loose and place it on the bedstand. There was an awkward shuffling of limbs; Buck was accidentally smacked with a hoof twice as he negotiated the Queen’s form to a prone, belly-down position.
Chrysalis shuddered as Buck slapped her ass lightly with his thick cock, playing around until it grew hard again. Her cheeks were small and plump, softly squishing against his shaft.

"And you're sure this is what you want? " Buck said. He gently nudged the Queen’s legs open, and brushed his tip against her flooded cunt. 

“Yes. Treat me as you will. But this time, I want you to mean it." Chrysalis said, lifting her tail. Despite the circumstances, she was hanging on to her officious airs. 
Buck was having none of it. Chrysalis yelped as he gaved her a firm slap on the ass.

“Mm. You want it? Ask.” Buck said.

“How dare you.” Chrysalis growled.

“Say ‘Please fuck me, My King.’” Buck said.

“You can’t possibly-” *Slap, slap!*
Buck’s hand scored twice against the queen's small, perky cheeks. He grabbed the base of her tail and pulled with practiced firmness. Chrysalis stifled a moan.

“Say it, and I’ll start nice and gentle.” Buck said.

“P…Please fffuck me.” Chrysalis said.

Buck pushed his tip a fraction of an inch deeper. The feeling of the Queen’s achingly hot, wet pussy lips on his head was like a promise to paradise. She whimpered, pushing back against him the tiniest bit. Another slap to the ass pulled a yelp from her.

“Try again.” Buck said.

“Please fuck me, My King!” Chrysalis cried.

In one sweet, luxurious slide, Buck plunged his cock into the Queen’s burning cunt.





Adagio could hear the Queen’s shuddering moans, even as she descended into the darkness. She had not been so livid in centuries. 
A black corridor sloped down into the earth. Whatever the Queen was hiding was more important than Adagio’s jealous heart. Wait, no. 
She wasn’t jealous. She was...impressed at Buck’s dedication to the mission, that was it. She was annoyed that things had gotten so out of hand, and she had had a long day running around a mountain in heels, and it was stress, certainly, that was it. No jealousy whatsoever, in fact, she was glad.
As Adagio congratulated herself on how gracious and happy she was that Buck was playing his part, she felt a slick squish between her thighs. She feared she might flood her undergarments if she got any more “glad” about the situation.
How long had she been walking?

Adagio straightened up, slapping her cheeks. “Focus!”

The cave was sweltering, growing more oven-like as Adagio descended. Veins of familiar red light pulsed in the black walls.
Adagio kept thinking of the things Buck was doing to Chrysalis. Was he taking revenge for how the changeling Queen had treated him in disguise?

Adagio saw Buck’s fingers digging into the Queen’s sides as he jackhammered her pussy furiously, a red flame blazing in his eyes as the bedframe slammed into the wall, echoing into the next room over. Perhaps he was grabbing her horn and forcing her to take his sweaty, musky shaft and lick it clean. Maybe he would-

“Stop! Stop. This is hardly the time to…” Adagio stamped a foot, trying to hold on to her mission. She bit down nervously on one of her sharp nails, and listened. Maybe…? But no.

“...I can’t hear the moans anymore.” Adagio murmured dejectedly, then realized how it must sound, blushing deeply. 

It wasn’t as if Chrysalis was the only person that had…that had taken advantage of Buck. Would he not wish the same vengeance on Adagio, given the chance? Adagio wondered darkly if that is what her aggressive doppelganger had been after, and a shudder of forbidden emotion knotted hotly in her lower stomach.

“He…he wouldn’t. He would never.” Adagio said, but she remembered how much fervor he had on their first night. She considered all the times he’d fucked her sore, just on a whim. She wondered how he would take her now, given the chance.

“Oof!” Adagio pitched forward, stumbling over a strange stone curb, lightly bonking her head on the wall of the cavern. “Get it together, Adagio Dazzle…he’s just a man!”

When the stars clear from her vision, she beheld a miraculous sight. 
It was another egg chamber, like the one Queen Chrysalis had built on TenPony tower’s unfinished floor, but smaller. This couldn’t be the main hatching chamber; it was only ten feet wide at best. Large, red-tinted cocoons held hulking changelings the size of cows against the walls. They basked in the hot glow of a single egg, which sat on a pedestal of stone. It blazed with an obscene red heat, reeking of Buck’s burning passion, but black veins that must have been the Queen’s brackish greed and cowardice pulsed along its surface. It was an order of magnitude more powerful than the Queen, and possibly more mana-rich than Buck himself. It could only be one thing.

“Gods, no wonder her children starve…she’s incubating her successor. A new queen, but with Buck’s energy and her own. A…” Adagio trailed off. 
She was going to say “A monster,” but a sudden rumble in her stomach gently reminded her not to cast stones. She was hungry again. She was also very certain that this egg would kill her if she took even a single nibble of its energy.

Close up, Adagio’s hair flew back as if standing before a hand dryer. Her eyes watered as she squinted at the egg; noticing a small form curled up inside. She thought she could make out a pair of thick horns on its head.

Adagio dragged in a deep breath, grimacing as she reached out carefully. Sweat beaded on her brow. It had to be close to hatching, so she couldn’t risk dropping it; unleashing the creature inside. With all the tenderness in the world, Adagio lifted the egg and held it to her chest. The form inside shuddered. It felt like a burning hearth. Adagio worried she would catch flame, but the sauna heat washed over her, and she found herself fully intact. For now.

“Phew…” 

Just as Adagio breathed a sigh of relief, the brutish shapes in the red cocoons stirred. She saw six pairs of hungry red eyes open in unison, then heard the cellophane tear of rupturing pods.

She was already running back up the corridor by the time the roars started.





“Are you’re sure this will work?” Scootaloo said, shivering.
Hailstones tumbled through the hole in the ceiling. Scootaloo stood by, feeling naked without her board beneath her feet, looking up at the knot of clouds swirling around the rift. It sounded like a mile-wide storm drain, a deafening inhalation muffled only by the thunder around it. She could see shingles from the hotel's roof rising into the air, and her stomach turned like she was standing at the edge of a cliff. Like she could fall into hell at any moment.

“I’m about 60% sure it will work.” Sunburst said as he teamed up with Starlight to draw a complicated spell circle in chalk at Scootaloo’s feet. She saw interconnecting lines looping together under her feet. It was almost like looking down the fluted barrel of a rifle. While Sunburst did the broad strokes, Starlight was filling the gaps with small arcane calculations; Scootaloo it assumed it was geometry, or calculus or something else equally terrifying.

“GREAT.” Scootaloo squealed.

“Don’t start complaining now. You were never supposed to be here today.” Starlight said coldly.

“Starlight! I…Scoots, you can do this. Here’s what you need.” Sunburst said, presenting a queer bit of quartz.

“What’s this?” Scootaloo said, lifting it up to the light.

Its clear surface had turned a muddy purple color, glowing with a hungry light. Strange runes had been carved into the sides, looking something like a pair of unicorns touching horns.

“That is a sealing charm. It’s a spell pioneered by Twilight Sparkle; designed to flawlessly cauterize any magical rift by reversing the metaphysical polarity of-”
“You tap it where the horns touch, and then wish really hard the rift will shut, and then you throw it at it.” Starlight interrupted.

“Wha-how am I going to get all the way up there?” Scootaloo said.

“We’re going to teleport you straight up. It’ll be the farthest teleport I’ve attempted to date!” Sunburst said. He noticed that Scootaloo was far less excited than he was about that point, and his tone shifted lower, and warmer. “Once you’re up there…that’s the tricky part. We need you to…well, we need you to “pony up,” Scoots.”

“What?”

“You’re a pegasus. That means you’ll be able to walk on clouds and soar on breezes when you’re awakened.” Starlight said. 

"But...but I've never...I don't even know if I can...!" Scootaloo murmured.

"Scoots...you don't have to do this if you don't want to." Sunburst said. 

“Yes, she does." Starlight said. "We don’t have Buck to juice you up, and we can’t spare any more quartz than you have–in case we have to fight. You’re the only one who can get up there without using up too many resources.”

"No, she doesn't. Sunburst said sharply. "Not if she's afraid. This is too much pressure. One of us can do it."

"No! I want to do it! I just...I don't know if I can go the distance. The last time, I got up there because Adagio gave me a ramp, and Buck rizzed me up and touched my butt!” Scootaloo said.

“He what.” Starlight sneered.

“Well, that’s…remember, Adagio told us about it. Buck was able to induce awakening by giving Scoots a good pep talk.”

“And molestation?” Starlight said.

“No, no, it wasn’t like that!” Scootaloo blushed. “He was helping!”
Starlight stared at Scootaloo.
“He was helping…” Scootaloo trailed off, looking lost.

“Okay.” Starlight sighed. “Scootaloo, look, I…I know you have a complicated relationship with Buck. And Adagio.”
Scootaloo’s cheeks burned brightly.

“Well, h-hey, you know, I wouldn’t say it like that…” Scootaloo said.

“I know you’re feeling left behind, and you’re learning these powers, and it’s all new, and scary, and exciting, but they don’t work how you think they should, and there’s all this pressure, right?”

“Right,” Scootaloo squeaked.

“Well, I’ve been there. The thing Sunset Shimmer always said during training was “You’ve got to feel it out.” There’s no perfect way to trigger a spell, and I’m guessing awakening is similar. Focus on how you felt when it happened the first time.”

“But that’s, like…really embarrassing.” Scootaloo said.

“What’s embarrassing about it?” Sunburst said.

“That’s not our business!” Starlight squawked, blushing. “Just…close your eyes, and try to think about the emotions you felt back then. If they have names, that’s good, but if not, just try to feel it. If you fall, we’ll catch you.”

“Really?” Scootaloo said.

“But we won’t need to, because you’re going to do great!” Sunburst said.

“Okay…okay.” Scootaloo shut her eyes and tried to go back. Sunburst and Starlight had their hands on her, trying to reassure her, but their pleasant proximity, their soft breathing, and their encouragement sent Scootaloo hurtling back in time, not to Buck hyping her up at the sports field, but back to Adagio’s bedroom.

The caress of Adagio’s fingers on the back of her neck, Buck’s hot girth filling her throat, all the little scritches at her scalp, and Adagio’s voice in her ear, encouraging her. Scootaloo thought of being lost in Adagio’s pillowy thighs, and Buck cumming all over her face, and Adagio holding her wrists as Buck ran his big thick hands all over her body, admiring her.

Admiring her!

The embrace of a cool breeze tickled Scootaloo’s skin. 

And then, suddenly, she was falling. Cold air howled through her hair and warm rain shocked her skin. Tears gathered in her eyes, then drifted over her head.

“Oh. I’m going to die.” Scootaloo whispered. She couldn’t open her eyes. Not yet. She tried to ignore her shaking legs, and focus on the memory.

Scootaloo saw the warmth in Buck’s eyes as he called her pretty. 
She remembered the feeling of Adagio’s tongue tickling her ear. 
She remembered how she came a little when Buck kissed her, and how it felt like he was splitting her in half when Adagio pushed her hips down onto his cock, and being called a “Good Girl” and getting used like a cock sock until she crashed head first into an orgasm that she’d been trying to replicate ever since.

They liked her, and they included her. Adagio picked Scootaloo to give her to Buck as a gift, and they both…they saw her. A soft breeze slid around Scootaloo, shifting up her shirt and behind her back. She felt a flutter, and then suddenly she was standing firm.

She opened her eyes.

Everywhere Scootaloo looked, the ground was made of gray vapor; swirling all around her, bunching together into towers, scraping the bright blue sky around her. The horizon stretched out impossibly in all directions. High above, the sun showered her in warmth.

Scootaloo was lighter than a feather; she was walking on air.

And then, Scootaloo did what anyone in her situation would do. What all of her deep and trusted instincts told her to do. 
She took a selfie. 
She could see adorable orange ears poking out of her scalp, and a swishy purple tail and…and…her wings. Short and stubby, like chicken wings, fluttering their little orange feathers.

“Why are they…so…small?”

Thunder clashed. With a startle, Scootaloo realized there would be nowhere to hide from lightning. 

She looked up at the rift, far bigger now, full of darkness, and still far off. As she started to climb the clouds, Scootaloo’s face went pale. She rubbed her eyes and shook her head.
"Must be my eyes playing tricks." 

For just a moment, it looked like the rift had blinked.





The feeling of the changeling queen’s pussy was indescribable, but for the sake of the audience, this narration will do its very best. 
There was a definite size difference; Buck wondered quietly at first if it would be more effective to stick his arm inside. It was plush soft, loose, and hot on his cock head. But then, as he adjusted himself, angling his tip downward to the root he’d found earlier, he felt the whole canal clench around his cock.
Her moans were soft and delicate as Buck rolled his hips tenderly. She was trying to hide them behind a holey hoof, but Buck wouldn’t allow it. He roughly took her chin in his hand and angled her face to look up at him as he ground sweetly against her g-spot.

“You’re so fucking pretty, Chrysalis.” Buck said.

“You are…incourageable.” Chrysalis mewled. Even though Buck had been working her gently, she was glistening with sweat, as if the very effort of making love forced her to flex every muscle in her body. The barking tyrant had disappeared behind a veil of hesitant excitement.

Buck carressed her chin and neck in long strokes, in perfect time with his short, low-tempo thrusts. Every time pushed, he felt a twisting tug on the base of his cock.

“And you feel so fucking gooooood…” Buck groaned, sliding in deep, earning a soft gasp from Chrysalis. “Your grip is crazy. Mm!” Buck pulled back with intentional slowness, leaving just his tip inside the entrance. He found that he couldn’t retreat any further; it was if the whole of the queen’s vulva was a hand, pinching his cock into place, and gradually sucking him back in with every heartbeat.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Chrysalis said, tossing her ass against Buck’s crotch with a wet plap. 

“Ffffmmmph!” Buck grinned. “Oh, you’re a bit a freak!”

“This is a position I’m accustomed to! Pray you don’t climax instantly from my Queenly prowess!” Chrysalis said with a sharp smile. She kept eye-contact with Buck as she threw her ass back in hard, quick thuds, then gasped as Buck rammed his whole cock in once, twice, and thrice, jabbing at her cervix like a southpaw boxer.

“Ugh…! Oh! Ohh! Tha-ahhst’s…Mphh!” Chrysalis grunted half in pain and pleasure. 
Buck’s eye flashed red.

“Deep? I know you’re prolly used to something a li’ more, uh…Equestrian.” Another brutal lancing, even harder. Chrysalis barked out a half-scream. “But I ain’t ever got a complaint about my reach.”

“Yessss…” Chrysalis hissed. “Ohhhh…Yes, Purple Prose!”

Buck lifted Chrysalis’ left back leg up onto the mattress and pushed in even deeper. His cock glowed red, heating up with his mana. The dark, hot folds pulsed tightly around him as he pressed in with a deep, quick grinding motion. Buck could feel the Queen’s pussy juice dribbling down his balls. Her yelping moans melted into a long, low-buzzing groan. 

“Say again?” Buck chuckled.

“Yes…my King.” Chrysalis mumbled.

“Look me in the eyes and say it.” Buck said. This time, he grabbed Chrysalis by the horn and tilted her head back. He teased her with light, gentle thrusts.

“Yes, my King!” Chrysalis moaned.

Buck slammed his cock in again, balls deep. Chrysalis crumpled into another, screaming orgasm, a haze of red heat jetting from her toothy maw. 

“Good girl.” Buck said, and now he was planting delicate kisses along her crooked horn. 

His eyes glowed red, streams of a black haze rolling off them. The slightest hint of a nub slid out of his head, growing slowly into a thick black horn that curved around like a halo. Now he was running a hand through her hair as he treated her to a deep, luxurious grind. A pair of small black shapes spread from between Buck’s shoulder blades. They tore through his vest like razor blades, extending into short, thin wings.

Their flesh met against and again with a sopping schlicking noise, Chrysalis gasping sweetly. Her pleasured voice seemed alien even to her, but Buck kept whispering sweet-nothings in her ear. A long, slender tail slid from Buck's back, it’s tip something like a pointed heart. 

“I’m gonna enjoy takin’ you just like this…over, and over…! I’ll choke you with my heart!”

Buck’s hands firmed around Chrysalis’ neck. Her head swam into a pink delirium as he pressed down on her carotids. His vicious, hammering thrusts increased in pace until his balls were slapping rhythmically against Chrysalis’ clitoris. 

Chrysalis had stopped counting her orgasms several paragraphs ago. Her screams had become unintelligible squeals. She drank in Buck's attention as if it were ambrosia, her eyes flickering pink and red as her tongue lolled from her mouth. 
Somewhere beneath the foundations of the hive, there was a low rumble, but neither seemed to notice. In those scant moments, there was nothing outside the room. 

“Now...cum for your King!” Buck said, and delivered a hard slap to her ass. 

“Ohhh! Ohhh, yes…yes, yes…!” Chrysalis moaned, and now her grip became a wet, sloppy vice, holding Buck’s cock right in place. He felt a veritable flood splash down his thighs as the Queen of the changelings came to a shuddering peak. She ground her ass against Buck in rough, greedy motions, toppling into an orgasmic free-fall. Her screams became a bestial yawp, and she exhaled a stream of pinkish-red mana which scorched the headboard and the wall behind it. 
Buck held her by the hip, grinding his hilted cock inside Chrysalis until her knees finally unlocked and she slumped wetly into the covers.

“Damn, girl…you come like a busted sink.” Buck muttered. All traces of awakening disappeared in a puff of smoke. His cock shined with spring green fluids as he pulled it from Chrysalis’ quivering gash with a lewd, drenched plopping noise. Buck laid next to Chrysalis, stroking her back. “You okay?”

Chrysalis's neck gave off a crack as she turned to look at Buck. 
Her expression was like that of newborn fawn looking at a falling nuclear bomb. 
Her pupils were dialated, and she sucked in rattling breaths. 
Her cheeks were full, her eyes bereft of exhaustion. She felt soft, warm and precious. 
And somehow, she still felt tired.

“A breather.” Chrysalis said, finally. “It is…strenuous to remain transformed over an extended period with the anemic mana of this realm. Especially when I’m otherwise…”

“Preoccupied?” Buck chuckled. As his hand strayed lower, Chrysalis lifted her ass like a housecat, shuddering. Buck squeezed the base of her tail lightly, rubbing it with his thumb.

“Mmm…indeed. But that is to say…That was not entirely unpleasant.” Chrysalis purred.

“That was round one, Queen.” Buck said, with a light slap to her ass. Chrysalis groaned and cuddled against him.

“Yes well, I…hm!? You want to do more? After all of that?” Chrysalis said.

“Oh, right, ponies are, uh…right, ‘dagio said something about that. You’re not used to doing it with humans, huh? Is this not what it’s like back at home?” Buck snarked. “Not bad for just a human, huh?”

“Enough!” Chrysalis barked, shuffling away. “I have already apologized. I won’t have you undermine me further! Yes, so you are very good at making me orgasm! So what!?”

“That’s not what I meant-”

“I know!” She turned her back to Buck. Despite her long, thin form, Queen Chrysalis looked terribly small to Buck as she laid on her side, tucking her hooves in. “I know I’m not what you…”

She was quiet then, for a moment.

“It’s not as if this is a comfortable compromise for me, either.” Chrysalis said.

“We don’t…we don’t have to do anything else physical. I didn’t mean to imply-”

“It’s not that! Why do you have to be so…! Why did you have to bring her up?” Chrysalis’ tirade trailed into a murmur.

“I’m…sorry?”

“This is exhausting.” Chrysalis sighed. When Buck again laid a hand on her, she cringed suddenly, then exhaled as he stroked her side.

“You don’t have to stay in that form, if it’s tiring you out.” Buck said.

“No!” Chrysalis sprung up, shrugging away Buck’s hand. “No, this is...I hadn’t even thought of it until you brought it up. I felt so…” She strolled across the room with elegant poise, her head held high. Chrysalis craned her long neck and took in the details, then looked in the mirror. Her eyes were glistening as she smiled in the reflection.

“My beautiful face. That was the first word I learned, you know. The word my Queen spoke when I first hatched. Beautiful!” Chrysalis sighed sweetly.

She reached up to touch her cheek with a hoof and found that there were no holes. She caught Buck in the reflection. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking concerned, and simultaneously stealing a dab of whipped cream from the pie stand. 

“No, this is wonderful. It isn’t the form that tires me. It’s being…for lack of a better word, seen.” Chrysalis nearly gagged as she spoke it.

“You mean, like being vulnerable?” Buck said.

“Yes! Is that so hard to believe? That a Queen could fear the very thought of someone seeing her groan and buck her hips like some common whore?”

“Not at all.” Buck said. He was behind her, now. Chrysalis quivered as he put his hands on her shoulders, like she hadn't been touched in months. "But I think I like this a lil' bit better. Tell me about it. The parts you don't tell other people."

And Chrysalis leaned back against Buck's broad chest, sighing.

"...when my Mother-that is to say, my Queen died, I was still very young. Someone had to step up and lead the way. To be an example of what changelings should be. Clever, powerful, and above all else...hungry. I just happened to be a bit taller and a bit scarier than my kin, so the task fell to me. I had to learn everything on my own, and learn it fast, because when a ruler makes mistakes..."

"Their people suffer."

"Yes."

"That sounds like a hell of a lot of pressure. Is it lonely?"

"More than you could ever know. I had to teach my kin how to behave, generation after generation. I bore the burdens of mother and queen, and I did so without thanks or compromise. And despite all my best efforts...here I am." Chrysalis said.
And Buck could see it on her face, a sudden, deep regret that only mothers know, the kind he’d seen in shelters just after his own, personal apocalypse. Reduced to this, it said. Starving and alone in a bleak world. No kingdom, no future, just a long, agonizing end.

"Purple Prose…do you ever regret? Those little moments, that seem like nothing at the time, but you look back on them, and realize that even you can’t forgive what you’ve done?” Chrysalis said.

“Oh, I got plenty of those. More than my fair share. There're nights where I just can't get to sleep, cause I keep thinkin' about what might've happened if I went another way, you know?" 

"I do." Chrysalis said, barely above a whisper.

"Maybe we oughta compare notes. Might learn somethin’ for once.” Buck sighed.

And they shared a small smile, as if they were both in on a tiny, private joke. The Queen who devoured hearts, and the Fool who loved far too much. Chrysalis trotted to the bed, where she lay on her side, looking at her own body with an odd fascination.

"I'm sorry you've had to resort to, you know, Me." Buck said. 

"Hush. It's been ages since I felt so full. And to think, instead of feasting on your stock, I was content to hide behind a petty0 bauble."

“My changeling stone necklace?” Buck said. The mattress squeaked as he climbed back on.

“Mine, now.” Chrysalis sneered. "It's not as if you know how to make it."

"Hey, come on, it was a gift!"

“It’s my people’s material, formed by ancient changeling secrets. I haven’t a clue how you got your hands on it in the first place.“

“That’s uh, well, I’m not even sure myself. I figured Starlight got it from The Pillars, and they must’ve got it from the other side.” Buck said.

“The whom?”

Deafening silence crashed into the air with all the intensity of a piano hitting concrete. Buck had let his guard down for just a moment.

“The Pillars, you say? And who, pray tell, are they?” Chrysalis continued.

“Fuck.” Buck said. “They are, uh, they…”

“Ohhh…you weren’t supposed to say that, were you?” Chrysalis grinned devilishly.

“Shit. Shit, uh, forget you heard that?”

“No. No, I don’t think I will. I think you and I will play a game, My King. You like playing with your food, don't you? Well, so do I.” Chrysalis said, rising above Buck. Menace gleamed in her sharp green eyes. 

"Uh-oh." Buck said. as the weight of his actions fell onto his shoulders. 

“I’m going to have another taste of you, and your mana, and if you don’t climax by the time I’m finished, I’ll drop the issue entirely.”

She licked her sharp teeth with her long, forked tongue.

“And if I do get off before you’re done?” Buck said.

Chrysalis planted a hoof on Buck’s chest. “I’ll swallow your load in one, deep gulp. And then? You’ll tell me everything you know.” Chrysalis said.

“I am so god damn erect right now holy shit.” Buck peeped.

“So? Do we have a deal?” Chrysalis said. Her hoof slid slowly downward. At the very base of her neck, Buck saw a thin line; the tinies of fractures in her carapace, from which spilled a thin mote of pink light.

“...Deal.”





For Scootaloo, it was like being in a dream. How many times had she wished she could soar above the clouds on the wings of a bird?
The crash of thunder shook every molecule Scootaloo’s body. The universe flashed white, and when the deafening rumble stopped, Scootaloo was doubled over, covering her ears in a gray bed of vapor.
The clouds under her feet were inky, towering ever higher, where they twisted unnaturally toward the widening rift.
Scootaloo had tried to take off twice, but her tiny wings couldn’t carry her. She was trying very hard not to think about them.

“Okay, so maybe it’s not…not exactly how I dreamed it.” Scootaloo muttered, shivering as she carried a knot of tragedy in her stomach.

She was climbing again. 
She found that just touching the clouds with her fingertips made them give way like loose cotton. She pushed and shaped it like cotton candy, creating hand holds that became footholds as she ascended. She could not, under any circumstances, think about the height. She had sprained her ankle the last time she did something like this. She was pretty sure everything would break if she hit the ground from all the way up here.

“Okay, so maybe it’s cold, and really, really scary, and maybe I barely know what I’m doing.” Scootaloo said to the sky.
She could see the hotel through the breaks in the clouds, getting smaller and smaller as she climbed. Her spit started to freeze on her tongue. Her breaths were getting shallower as she crested to the top of a cumulus cloud. “Eyes on the prize, Scoots...!” Scootaloo said.

The rift had gone from a pinprick of black high above to a huge gash in the naked air. It howled like a hollow train tunnel, inhaling everything around it. The clouds pulled into it were like long, twisting streamers. Scootaloo thought that if she climbed one of them, she might just be able to get close to the rift, and get the job done. She squeezed the sealing charm in her hand.

“I can do this…I can do this…!” Scootaloo said, her knees shaking as she stepped on one the thin clouds getting pulled toward the rift. Her steps were so light, she wondered if she’d hit the ground below, or drift down like a feather. 

If her awakening even lasted that long, Scootaloo thought. She could already feel her equestrian features flickering.





“Okay…I don’t see her falling, so that means it probably worked.” Sunburst said, squinting up at the sky through the ceiling hole.

“Or you teleported her inside a tree.” Starlight offered.

“Starlight!”

“Kidding! I’m kidding! I’m allowed to make jokes!” Starlight said.

“Hey...Why don’t you take a seat, just for a minute?” Sunburst said, touching Starlight’s shoulder. 

“I can rest when we’re done here.” Starlight said, but Sunburst could see her bad leg shaking.

“Here; lean on me.” Sunburst said.

“I’m fine.” Starlight lied. She didn’t resist as Sunburst slipped his arms around her, pulling her close. She sighed, letting her shoulders slump. “Today has been…a lot. I’ll tell you about it later. Right now, I’m feeling…”

“What?”

“Suspicious. Like things are going a little too well.”

“Don’t say things like that. We’re all in over our heads, but were all doing our best. I’ve seen nothing but miracles today. When they caught me, I thought I’d never see you again, but here you are. We told Scoots to hang back, but we needed her, and she’s here. Even Buck is confronting an enemy that he couldn’t possibly face before. You even made a friend!” Sunburst said.

Starlight frowned and looked at Greg, who was standing at attention. He glanced over and, with a bit of effort, formed a smile.

“If you wait for bad things to happen, well…you’ll never be shocked when they do. But if you hope? You’ll always be pleasantly surprised when something good happens,” Sunburst said. “I think today is a good day for miracles.”

Suddenly, the lobby shook. A flurry of thuds were coming up from under the floorboards.

“Friend? Buck?” Greg said, dropping to all fours. He sniffed the ground and cocked his head in plain confusion.
The carpet burst open in a volcanic burst of red flame. Tendrils of magical run-off spun into the air, sucked upward toward the rift, as floor and foundation alike cracked open.

Changeling drones, or something that used to be drones, crawled out of the hole. Even hunched over on all fours, they were taller than a man. To call them humanoid wasn’t exactly right, as they had sharp, snapping pincers where their mouths should have been, and massive mandibles protruding from their heads like a hercules beetle. 

“What are they?” Sunburst said.

The beasts unleashed a chorus of roars. 
Wings unfolded from the creatures’ backs as they lurched through the air, charging at the group like a herd of flying hippos.

“I hate it when I’m right.” Starlight said.

//////////

The rift shuddered, booming like the echo of a firework. 

Scootaloo’s squint could see something strange on the other side. It was a landscape, of sorts, of barren plains and dead trees beneath a cold, starless night sky. Scootaloo thought she saw a castle in the distance, but then the rift blinkered like an old tv, and suddenly there was the interior of a log cabin, lit only by a crackling fireplace. Cloaked figures, like the one she’d seen before stood as still as statues, then turned to her all at once, their eyes glowing with hellish orange light. 

The rift blinked again, and now it was a writhing expanse of purple squiggles, in which floated an archipelago of pastel-colored floating islands, barely connected by a series of nonsensical bridges. Somewhere, floating in the chaos was a strange chimeric creature in a bathtub, a brush magically scrubbing its back. The creature glanced at Scootaloo, frowned, and snapped its fingers.
The rift changed again, making a sound like a muffled grenade. 

Scootaloo’s legs were kicking slowly through the clouds as if she were striding across the bottom of a pool. There was a subtle pull on the edges of her clothes. Her breath steamed, and as she waved it away, she found the vapor sticking slightly to her hand, as if the tiny cloud were putty. “I can do this…!” Scootaloo said, covering her eyes from the glare. 

It was a lavish lobby full of glitzy lights and shady characters, all pony-like in shape. The sounds of slot machines, roulette wheels spinning up and raffle winners being announced almost drowned out the winds which were howling into the rift. Scootaloo was half-running, half swimming, her little wings fluttering like a falling chicken’s as she drew closer still.

A cannon boom rumbled Scootaloo's ear drums. The rift had changed again.

Scootaloo was right on it now. 
It was like standing on the edge of a cliff. She saw now that the rift had grown with each flicker. 
If Scootaloo got even an inch closer, she would fall in.

It was dark again, a stony space with nothing but the flicker of distant torches to light it. Strange, twisted pillars stretched in all directions, the walls obscured fully by a writhing stygian mist. 
The longest shadow of all fell across Scootaloo, who was standing in the shade of a towering stone throne. It was draped in tattered dark purple curtains, resting at the top of a short flight of stairs. Scootaloo couldn’t make out the figure sitting in the throne, but she saw a pair of burning eyes in the darkness. Those horrific, blazing orbs flashed as they stared at Scootaloo. 
She thought she saw a cruel smile beneath them.

“I can do this!” Scootaloo said, desperately.

A final, horrific crash shook the sky.

Darkness again; darker than black. Crushing, simple, hungry darkness filled the rift and all of Scootaloo’s vision. 
She was floating above the clouds now, drifting lazily toward the abyss. Her vision was taking on a strange green haze.
Through the rift lay a landscape of frigid desolation. A howling tundra who’s winds were like a thousand tiny knives against Scootaloo’s skin. There in the midst of this wasteland stood a tall, jagged crystal, it’s sides red as spilled blood. It had a single long crack down the center.

Scootaloo couldn’t move. She was barely perceiving what was in front of her. All she could hear was the pounding of her own heart. Her jaw felt like it was wired shut.
 
A pair of blinding stars erupted from the depths of the crystal. No, not stars, Scootaloo thought. Eyes.

"Is it someone new...?"

A voice like a freezing dagger raked across Scootaloo's spine. It was shrill and ghastly, vibrating in her bones. She couldn’t believe she’d been so dumb. She’d only been worried about going into the rift. She hadn’t even thought about something coming out.

"We have a guest, dears. LET US WELCOME THEM!"

A spectral visage violently peeled from the crystal; a ghastly nightmare of shimmering dark clouds, roiling into the vague shape of a horse head. A set of jagged front teeth opened wide. Inside, a hundred dying stars; a blinding inferno of screaming fury burned from inside the leviathan maw, then a hundred thousand more deathly pale horse faces laughed from inside the dead lights. 
 
“I CAN’T DO THIS!” Scootaloo screamed.





Meanwhile, Buck was charging towards certain doom. 

Queen Chrysalis had a tongue like a writhing serpent, and it was probing his cock for a sensitive spot. The pink, wet tendril slid slowly around Buck’s shaft, squeezing it like a constrictor.

“Woah…the control!” Buck said. The Queen’s dagger-filled mouth was open, but the sides of her lips curled up in a cheeky smile as her tongue moved up and down slowly.

“Mmmahhgn…” Chrysalis said.

“What’s that, hun? You like tasting yourself on me?” Buck said. He reached up to fiddle with her hair, but Chrysalis swatted his hand away. The look in her eyes commanded understanding; no touching.

“Have it your way.” Buck said. “I’ll just…fff…I’ll just enjoy the…the show…fuck.”

With a slithering slurp, the Queen’s tongue rose. It deftly stroked the supremely tender spot just behind the ridge of Buck’s cock head. He shuddered, a distinctly unmanly moan escaping his lips.

“Mhmhmm…! Sensitive here, are we? That siren wishes she could do this to you. Mmmm…” Chrysalis purred, slipping her lips around Buck’s glans, letting them catch on the ridge, suckling slowly. Her tongue snaked down to fondle Buck’s balls with wet, feathery flicks.

“Fuuuuck…!” Buck groaned. Little red sparks blinked around his cock.

He could feel his mana being tugged out in short starbursts. He wondered if it tasted like poprocks, or like kerosene, or like anything at all. What he did know for sure is that he was hurtling toward an orgasm that had been put off for weeks between all the crazy events and traumas of his recent life.

Chrysalis didn’t bother to disguise the mirth in her eyes as Buck gripped the sheets, holding back his orgasm like a crumbling dam. She seemed to take great satisfaction in finally taking the upper hand back from him, and she was relishing the red mana coursing up his cock.

“That’s good, that’s fucking amazing…!” Buck moaned, one fist clenching, watching the Queen work.

Chrysalis kept suckling at his head, but Buck watched in awe as her head rocked like a ship on choppy water. Her horn swung back and forth like a metronome, then turned forty, sixty, eighty degrees as the Queen’s head spun with unnatural severity. It was like getting sucked off by the world’s wettest, silkiest cement mixer. Buck heard a slight pop in Chrysalis’ neck, but he had no space in his brain for that thought, or any other thoughts besides how his dick felt like it was about to explode.

“Holy fuck, holy fuck, now you’re just showin’ off! Just keep doin’ that! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” Buck threw his head back and groaned loudly. His cock was glowing red, strobing with a raw horniness that was starting to warm the whole room.

*CRASH*

The moment froze. Both Buck and Queen Chrysalis stopped and looked across the room, where a puddle of water, roses, and vase shards were scattered across the floor. That, however, is not what they were looking at, for they saw that the vanity mirror had been nudged, as Adagio Dazzle, master of thievery and subterfuge, had gone and wanged her shin on it a second time.

She scrambled to catch the egg, but as soon as she did, it burned brightly with red light. She set it on the floor, blowing on her hands.

“ADAGIO DAZZLE!” Chrysalis screeched.

“Buck?” Adagio said.

“Sorry, Chryssi.” Buck said, smashing a creampie into the Queen’s face. “CHEESE IT!”

He pulled up his boxers, picked up the egg, and grabbed Adagio’s hand, then promptly ran for his fucking life.
Queen Chrysalis blinked in disbelief, creampie frosting dribbling down her face, and with all her plans gone awry, something awoke in her. Something ancient and primal. 

“REEEEEEEEE-!”