Chapter Only
Be Anon. Awaken to another fine day in nice little horse land. Look outside. Snow. Wat? Check calendar. Midsummer festival, three days from now. Look outside. Fillies making a snowpony. Shrug, that's just how it be sometimes. Jacket, mittens, hat with a little pomf on top, and snowboots go on. It's not very cold, barely below freezing, you'd say. Oh well, still hot cocoa weather.
On your way to Sugarcube corner you see Dash splayed out on a ground level cloud. "Hey there, Dash, you do weather, right? What's with all the snow."
"Didn't you see it, Anon? The sun and moon went up and down, like." Dash counts on her hooves, then the colours of her mane and tail, "A lot! The eggheads in the record keeping department say it's a week until Hearthswarming! So we had to take all the emergency snow clouds out and make it snow all... uh, for the past ten days or so? That is a LOT of overtime, I don't know how we're going to pay everypony."
"I'm sure you'll figure it out, Dashie." You pat her on the head and the little birbpone makes a cheeping noise. 'How strange.' you think to yourself, 'Perhaps the princesses were playing tug-o-conflict with their celestial orbs?' There's a long line outside Sugarcube Corner. Looks like everypony had the same idea as you.
Good thing you've got your 'Pinkie Pie approved Super Cool Guy' card, which lets you save your spot in line while sitting inside. You enter to chaos, which here in Ponyville, generally means slightly raised voices and shuffling hooves. Pinkie looks like she's been working for days, which, technically she might have been, "Nonners!"
"Ponkers!" You smile and open your arms wide to catch her running jump. Boy these ponies are soft, you snuggle into the fully pink poner.
"Noma-llama-ding-dong! Ya gotta help me! We're out of hot water!"
You blink dumbly down at the squishy girl, "How can you be out of hot water?"
"The hot water tank is empty!"
You pause for a moment. You knew you were about to ask a question which would seem strange to the ponies around you, but you had to clarify the situation. Perhaps you'd phrase it a different way. "Please show me the hot water tank, Pinkie."
"This way, hurry!" Pinkie points you through the back and you walk into the kitchen. Pinkie points at what looks like a perfectly normal, modern hot water tank.
"I see, and why is it empty?"
"Because there hasn't been a hot water delivery in months!"
"I see, and why do you need to get your hot water delivered, doesn't the tank just fill up with water and heat it?"
"Oh golly, no! That's awfully dangerous! You have to heat water with *explosive gas*! Could you imagine what would happen if something went wrong and ponies were around? They'd get really hurt!"
"I see." You say, looking around the room, "Pinkie, what about your cooking tools? How do you cook things?"
"With the hot water, of course! We get a special delivery, water hot enough to run all the stoves and ovens!"
"I see. Well, is there any way to manually add hot water?"
"Yuppers! If we need emergency hot water we can call Hot 2 Trot and he'll bring over his special reserve tank! But the Mayor says that essential businesses come first, and while pastries and hot cocoa are high on the list, things like bread and oats come first."
"Hmm, well, what if I said that I could get you more hot water?"
"I knew you could! Mr and Mrs Cake said that no one could get more hot water but I knew you could!" Pinkie hugs you really tight before dropping to the ground, "What do you need?"
"Well, I'm going to need a fire."
Pinkie's eyes go wide, "Oh wow! Only specially licensed ponies can operate open fires! Are you one?"
"Er, well, no. Do you know someone who is?"
"The Apples! You can have open fires anywhere on the grounds of Sweet Apple Acres. It's because occasionally they have to burn old dead wood that would be dangerous. All the adult Apples automatically get their license when they get their cutie mark!"
"Oh wow, don't ponies get their cutie marks pretty young?"
"Yupperoonie! That's why the Apples teach all their foals ALL about fire safety before they even start going to school!"
"Huh, well, I assume school's out?"
"Yup! Winter break started three days ago!"
"Last night, right, well, do you think that Applebloom would be willing to help us make a fire? I'm guessing that the rest of the Apples will be busy."
"I'll go ask right now!" A Pinkie shaped cloud was left where Pinkie just was, then there was a Pinkie holding an Applebloom there instead of the cloud, "She said yes!"
Don't think about how Pinkie does what Pinkie does and go with it.
"Well, that's good. Applebloom, did Pinkie tell you that we need a fire so that we can make hot water?"
Applebloom looks up with wide eyes, "Is that what you need it for? I knew you could make stew with a fire, but I didn't think you could make hot water with it!"
You rub the filly's mane. If these ponies weren't so adorable they'd get RIGHT on your nerves. Good thing they're so cuddly. "Well, I need you to build a fire in a safe spot outside the back of the shop."
"You got it bossman! Hey, Pinkie, do you have any wood, paper, or other burnable materials that you no longer need?"
"Well, I do have this." Pinkie holds out a log with a face on it made of paper. It seems to be vomiting wood chips.
"Perfect! I'll go set this up!"
As Applebloom hops out the door you turn to Pinkie, "Say, you wouldn't happen to have a pot with a handle that lets you hold it from above, a double ended hook, and something metal to hold the pot and hook up off the ground, would you?"
"Would I?" Pinkie is holding just such a pot, hook, and... is that a spit? Why would ponies need a horizontal spit?
"Why would ponies need a horizontal spit?"
"Kabab roasts!" Is Pinkie's gleeful response.
Of course.
You head outside to where Applebloom already has the log starting to catch. "Impressive, little appul. Now, let's set up the spit like so..." You and Pinkie set up the spit so that the rod passed over the fire, "and now we hang the pot like so." You hang the pot over the beginning fire, "and then we... We need to put water in the pot." You and Pinkie pop back into the store to get the pot filled with water. Not enough that it's particularly difficult to lift, but a pretty decent amount. So then the three of you just sit, and wait, and while you're waiting you see some flickering in the sky. Are... are the sun and moon flicking back and forth?
The water starts boiling, "Wow!" Pinkie says, "No wonder they use explosive gas, making hot water with fire takes nearly a whole year!"
You decide that correcting her would be pointless. With a mighty heave and a, "Take care of the fire, Applebloom." You head inside. Pinkie lifts the lid on the hot water tank, something you're pretty sure can't be done with tanks back home. You carefully pour the boiling water into the tank. "There you go, Pinkie, now we just do this as many times as it takes to give everypony some hot cocoa!"
Pinkie blinks at you, "Why would anypony want hot cocoa in summer?"
"But it's winter out ther—..." Outside it's sunny and all the snow has melted... "I... Wha—...Nooooooo."
Twilight Sparkle comes walking slowly into the shop. "Hey, Pinkie, can I get some calming herbal tea? I've just had one heck of a day."
"Sure thing, Twilight! We just got some more hot water in!" Pinkie moves over to a tap, collecting a teacup and a tea bag. Placing the one inside the other she depresses a little red lever, allowing the hot water to pour into the cup. "Make sure to let it steep for exactly three minutes! And wait until the little heat ring turns green to drink!"
"Thank you Pinkie." Twilight takes her tea and goes to sit down.
"Hey, Pinkie, do you think you'll need more hot water?"
"Nah, since it's the middle of summer most ponies don't order hot drinks or anything!"
"What about baking?"
"I'm sure we have enough stock to last the day. I mean, we've had enough stock for an entire year!" Pinkie giggles.
You squint down at her, "I'm not sure if you're messing with me, or you actually think it's been a whole year."
Pinkie's eyes sparkle, "Can't it be both?"
You chuckle with the little pink pipsqueak. "Alright, go tell Applebloom to put out the fire and handle dismantling our water heating apparatus. I wouldn't want you to get hurt."
"No problemo, Non-A-Rino! I always leave dangerous work to the professionals!"
"Don't you constantly charge into danger and adventure?"
"Well, yeah! I'm a professional adventurer, and I have the element of harmony to prove it!"
You smile, "I know you do, Pinks." You make your way over to Twilight.
"Hey there, sport, this seat taken?"
"Nah."
"So, what's gotten you all stressed out?"
"Princess Celestia wanted to sleep in."
"I see... And that made what just happened happen?"
"Yup. They sang a whole song about it."
"Well, what happened?"
"Princess Luna decided that she'd just raise the sun herself. Princess Celestia put it back down. This happened... a couple times."
"And then we were in winter."
"Yes. The time keeping guild is very particular. Each sunrise and sunset counts as one day. We tried to get them to say that those sunrises don't count, but they wouldn't."
"So what did you do?"
"Just got Princess Celestia to raise and lower the sun a bunch so that today is the day after yesterday... a year ago, technically."
"Huh, well, that's one way to do it. Hey Pinkie!"
"Yes on Nonners my bonners?" Pinkie bounces over.
"Can I still get a mug of cocoa?"
"Yupparooni!" Pinkie quickly fixes you a mug, "With extra whipped cream because you helped with the water."
"Thanks Pinkie." You head out into town.
It was heating up now that the sun was properly up and out. There were little puddles of slush and snow and water dotting here and there. You take a sip of your cocoa. Delicious.