To Be Loved

by CrimsonWolf360

First published

When everyone around you still thinks of you as the evil conqueror you used to be, it makes it hard to make friends. Sometimes you just want to be held and told everything's gonna be alright.

It's tough, living with your past mistakes. Even harder when no one else will let you forget. They say that's what the alcohol is for. Shame, really. Sometimes you don't want to drink anymore. Sometimes all you need is a hug.
-Fizzlepop BerryTwist

Drinking Your Pain Away

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In the darkest corner of the lowliest bar in Ponyville, and brooding in the corner, sat a mysterious mare of mulberry, clothed in a black hoodie, with strands of her ruby red hair poking out from under the hood. She calmly, and slowly drank from her mug of cider while sitting alone at her booth in her little corner of the bar. All around her, ponies drank and sang, and laughed and danced to the upbeat music booming from the speakers. She took another sip, her jaded teal eyes narrowed to thin slits as she stared disapprovingly ahead at the empty seat in front of her.

It wasn't that she detested company, far from it. However, ever since the fearsome Tempest Shadow returned to Equestria, things have been different. Ponies avoid her like the plague, despite her helping to defeat the Storm King, Tirek, Chrysalis, and Cozy Glow. Even after all her good deeds, the citizens of Equestria still saw her as a potential villain. Someone not to be trusted, an outcast.

Light lazily filtered through the pair of windows on the wall to her left, projecting perfect squares into the hardwood floor of the bar. Her ears flicked back at the sound of a game of pool kicking off, and the excited cheers of the patrons across from her as they played another game. It made her frown.

What are the odds some creature tries to break down these doors and start attacking ponies? Low? Nonexistent? But if it did come through that door, I'd have enough time to get out from this table, cross the room, and take it down before it could lay a claw on anypony in the room... maybe then they'd give me a chance. She thought with a roll of her eyes.

She turned her body toward the door slightly, just in case. Her drink sat unattended for several minutes, forming a ring of condensation on the table while the glass continued to sweat. Her eyes glared like daggers to the doorway, daring any creature to show themselves, reveal their evil intent, and face her righteous retribution.

She dared for almost twenty minutes before sighing quietly to herself and turning back in her seat.

"What am I doing? There hasn't been a monster attack in years. Ever since Twilight took the throne, things have been more peaceful than ever before." She mumbled as she shook her head.

The dark unicorn took another sip of her cider, noting that the ice had already melted and watered down the drink slightly. The taste still tingled on her tongue as apple flavor filled her mouth, making her let out a sigh of contentment as she lowered the glass to the table once more. In her momentary lapse in concentration, the door opened, allowing more light to spill into the room as the new arrivals entered.

She turned her head to see as two ponies, one stallion and one mare, as they walked into the bar, followed immediately by some kind of creature she'd never seen before. It was bipedal, standing on its hind legs as its forelegs closed the door behind. It's build was somewhat muscular, but hardly impressive, especially when compared to a minotaur. Completely clothed from neck to foot, the creature surveyed the room with its dark brown eyes. Unlike a pony, it's face was flat, and there was only a shaggy mop of fur on the top of its head, rather than its entire body.

She eyed the strange new creature with mild fascination before it looked over to her and she instantly looked back to her drink as if it was the most interesting thing in the whole room. Her ears burned from the embarrassment of being caught staring, but she quickly shook the feeling off as she took a long swig of her drink, nearly emptying its contents directly to her stomach.

A barmaid passed by just within her line of sight as she kept her gaze angled to the floor. Without a word, she held up her mug and gave it a small shake.

"Another one?" She sighed, "Alrighty, coming right up. Just know that that's your fifth one tonight." The barmaid replied before trotting off to the actual bar to get another cider.

Her brow furrowed, "Fifth one?" She asked nobody, as she already knew the answer.

Almost as if to confirm her knowledge, she felt the slight buzz of alcohol, tingling in the back of her neck, and her vision swayed slightly before she looked back into her almost polished off glass. The amber liquid at the bottom greeted her by pooling invitingly in corner of the mug as she angled it slightly. With a shrug, she finished off the mug and placed it down gently beside her.

The glass clinked against another mug, earning a raised brow and second look from the mulberry unicorn. Both brows raised when she saw the three other mugs sitting on the far side of the table. She shook her head in slight disbelief at her alcohol consumption before looking back over to the bar just in time to see the barmaid as she deposited another cider in front of her.

"Here you go." The barmaid curtly greeted, before heading off to deal with another pony.

She nodded in thanks while the glass sat in front of her, almost daring her to drink more. With a soft shrug and a mirthless chuckle, she grabbed the mug with her hoof and took a long swig. The slightly bitter taste of the fresh alcohol burned in her throat as she swallowed, prompting tears to form in the corners of her eyes. She quickly blinked them away as she set the drink back down on the table and rested her elbows on either side of it.

Her head came to a rest on her hooves, and she blinked slowly at the empty seat in front of her, a small frown crossing her brow as she stared ahead. Eventually, movement to her left caught her attention, and her eyes darted to the side to see the strange bipedal creature from earlier get out of its seat, much in part, due to the encouragement of the ponies sitting beside it. The creature slowly but steadily walked across the bar toward her, making her brow furrow in both irritation and concern.

The creature finally arrived in front of her table, pausing only to look back at its supportive friends before clearing its throat and speaking.

"Hi there." It said, it's strong, yet unsure voice confirming that it was male.

She continued to stare ahead, "Hey."

The creature pursed it's lips, "You here by yourself?"

"Mmhmm." She nodded once, then took another sip of her drink.

"Mind if I sit with you?" His voice was shaky, as if he felt his plans crumbling around him.

Her eyes darted over to see the creature as it gave its best attempt at a friendly smile. She hesitated for a moment before sighing, "Go right ahead."

He immediately sat directly opposite of her, forcing her gaze to drift lower to the wood of the table to keep from staring.

"So, you come here often? I've been here a few times this week and this is the first time I've seen you. Berry Punch said your name was Tempest?" The creature began, obviously trying to ignite conversation.

She cringed, "That name doesn't mean anything to me anymore. I'm not... I'm not that mare anymore." She ruefully admitted.

"O-oh, sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. Sorry. Well, what do you go by now?" He asked, apologetically.

"Why are you asking me all this? I've been in town for months and not a soul will talk to me for more than the most basic pleasantries but here you are trying to hold a conversation with me. I don't understand." She shook her head, her eyes lingering on her drink.

The creature sitting across from her frowned and tapped his fingers on the table for a few moments as he conjured a response.

"Well... My friends have been trying to get me out of my shell a bit lately. Guess you can't stay cooped up in the school housing for too long before they start to worry. Figured the best way to get me out was to take me to a bar and see if any pony caught my interest." He admitted, shrugging slightly.

She raised an eyebrow, "So... what? I caught your interest?" She asked.

"Yeah. I guess you did. I mean, that and you're the only one sitting alone. Figured you were either waiting for someone, someone already drank their share and left, or you're drinking to forget something." He astutely observed.

Her gaze fell back into her drink, "I... guess you could say that."

"Well, if there's one thing I've learned since I got teleported here, it's that having someone to listen really helps." He offered.

She chuckled mirthlessly before fixing him with a steady gaze, "Alright then, I'll bite. You want to know why I'm here by myself, drinking my sorrows away while everypony else is partying and finding someone to take home tonight? It's because I did some really bad things way back. Some things that hurt a lot of innocent creatures. I changed, tried everything in my power to fix the wrongs I'd committed, and worked even harder to do more good. And you know what? Nopony wants anything to do with me. They still think I'm the same evil, bitter, sadistic mare that I used to be." Her tone dropped to a whisper, as her eyes watered.

"They forgave Starlight... Even gave Chrysalis a second chance... Why not me?" She asked, blinking back the tears.

As she looked away in shame, the creature got to his feet and quickly moved over to her side of the booth. He sat down beside her, before pulling her into a hug. She immediately went rigid at the contact, but the longer that the hug persisted, the more welcome the gentle warmth of his body, and soft feeling of arms around her, became.

"I know this probably doesn't mean much, coming from me since you don't know me or anything, but I have heard a little of what you did. While I can't say that you didn't do anything wrong, I do think you deserve to be forgiven for that. You don't seem like a bad pony to me." He whispered, holding her head against his chest.

Try as she might, she just couldn't stop the tears from leaking from her tightly closed eyes. The steady beat of the music simply faded to nothing as her entire world was consumed by the large presence of the strange creature holding her close. The contact felt strange, almost as alien as the creature himself, yet somehow it reminded her of home, and of the times when her mother used to hold her after she scraped her hoof playing with her friends.

Eventually, the embrace reached its end, and the creature released its hold on her long enough for her to look up to its chocolate brown eyes as the last of her tears drained from her bloodshot eyes.

"What... who are you?" She asked, breathlessly.

"My name's James, and I'm a human," James replied with a smile, before the tiniest frown crossed his features, "I know you don't go by Tempest anymore, so what should I call you then?" He asked.

She looked down to the floor, her lips pursed in unease, before slowly looking back up to James with the faintest glimmer of hope in her eyes.

"Fizzlepop... Fizzlepop Berrytwist, but you can call me Fizzle." Fizzle replied. sounding unsure of herself.

James smiled wide, "Alright then, Fizzle. Are you busy this weekend?"

"I... I think I can free up Saturday."