> One Chance to Say Goodbye > by Summer Knight > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > And I Missed It > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A pop and a purple flash announced Twilight's arrival outside of Discord's home. With no concern for appearances, the princess of all Equestria galloped up to the door and knocked loudly. Her ethereal mane and tail flowed in a nonexistent breeze, untouched by the wild magic of Discord's realm. They were the only parts of her that looked peaceful. "Just a moment," Discord called from inside. That was her first sign that something was very wrong: Discord was being polite. With her stomach clenching, Twilight raised her hoof and knocked again. "Yes, yes, I'm coming!" A moment later, the door slowly opened. No chaos, no pranks; Discord simply turned the doorknob and pulled. The draconequus stood in the doorway of his home and gazed out at his visitor. Twilight knew then that she was too late. "Ah. Twilight," Discord said, uncharacteristically quietly. "I'm afraid you've just missed her." Just missed her. The words were a three-pronged dagger plunging into Twilight's chest. "When?" the alicorn whispered. Discord sighed heavily. "Oh, you know how time works around here—or, rather, doesn't work. It's hard to say. Maybe five minutes ago." "Five minutes?" The most powerful being in Equestria trembled like a dry leaf in a cold breeze. "You mean, if I'd come five minutes sooner—?" Her voice broke under the twin weights of grief and remorse. A tear trickled from one eye, followed quickly by several more. Twilight's head lowered almost to the ground, and her shoulders heaved as sobs overtook her. Discord stroked his beard absently, unsure what to do with the distraught princess on his doorstep. He would normally ask Fluttershy for guidance, but... well, that simply wasn't possible anymore. He briefly thought about conjuring an image of her to talk to, but that felt wrong, somehow. To see that sweet smile, to look into those warm eyes, and to know that it wasn't really her, seemed like more than he could bear. No, for the first time in a very long time, he was on his own. What would she do? "Would you like to come inside?" Discord finally asked. It seemed like something Fluttershy would say. "W—what?" Twilight croaked through her tears. "I said," he began impatiently, then caught himself. He cleared his throat. "Please come in, Twilight." "Thank you," Twilight managed. Discord stepped aside to make room for her, and she slowly walked past him. Even her hooves felt weighed down by sorrow, and she barely managed to avoid stepping into a small volcano in the middle of the room. She looked around for someplace to sit, and her eyes settled on a surprisingly normal-looking armchair. It was a bit small for her, but manageable. "No!" Discord zipped across the room to hover in front of the chair. "Not this one!" The sudden outburst barely registered through Twilight's teary haze. "I—" Her voice caught. She coughed and sniffled, then produced a handkerchief with her magic, which she used to wipe her eyes. "I'm sorry. Is that...?" "It's Fluttershy's," Discord growled. He snapped his fingers and a distinctly plainer, less cushy chair appeared behind Twilight. She carefully examined the new seat, but it didn't seem to be a trick or a booby trap. She slowly lowered her weight onto it, and it held. It was a perfectly serviceable chair, if not a very comfortable one. Once she was settled, Twilight drew in a shuddering breath. "I am so sorry, Discord," she said. "And thank you for telling me that Fluttershy was—" her voice hitched again, and she couldn't finish the sentence. "I came as soon as I could get away from court," she said instead. "Well, it wasn't soon enough, was it?" Discord sniped. Twilight's chest twisted upon itself until she thought her immortal heart might shatter. She dipped her head again, and tears splashed onto the floor of Discord's home. "No," she whispered, "it wasn't soon enough." Just five minutes... An uncomfortable silence filled the room. Twilight sat in her chair, bowed down with grief, while Discord hovered in front of Fluttershy's favorite spot and glowered at her. At long last, Twilight cleared her throat. "I'm sorry," she repeated, "I won't intrude on you any longer. I'm sure you'd like to be alone right now." "Alone?" The word punctured Discord's anger, and he deflated a bit—literally. "Er, Twilight, wait. I... I don't think I'd like that at all." Twilight's eyes betrayed her surprise as she looked up at him. "You want me to stay?" "I mean, well, not to stay," Discord stammered, "but I suppose you could hang around for a little while." In spite of everything, a laugh forced itself from Twilight's throat. "I'd be happy to 'hang around' for little while. I didn't think you meant that I should stay forever. " "Right. Of course." Discord added a nervous chuckle of his own. Another silence rose up between them, but this one was—if not more comfortable—at least less tense. This time, it was Discord who finally broke it. "Maybe you could answer something for me," he said. Twilight raised her head. "I can try. What is it?" She wondered if he was about to ask what happened after death; something that, for all her studying, she still knew nothing about. "There's this—" Discord cast about for the right word, "—this feeling running all through me. It's like something's squeezing me, only it's coming from inside. Have you ever seen anything like that in those books of yours?" He craned his head forward with a worried expression. "Am I sick?" Twilight smiled sadly and shook her head. Her ever-shifting mane flowed gracefully around her with the movement. "You're not sick," she answered, "and I don't need a book for this." She raised eyes full of understanding to meet his. For a moment, she looked so much like Fluttershy that Discord had to check that he hadn't just been punched in the stomach. "That feeling is grief." "Grief?" Discord sounded out the unfamiliar word. "That's right. Didn't you ever notice how Fluttershy acted each time one of the others passed on?" "Hmm." The draconequus stroked his beard. "Now that you mention it, she did seem a bit off after those... 'funerals,' she called them?" Twilight nodded. "She was sad, because each funeral meant that she'd lost a dear friend." "But that's a pony thing!" Discord protested. "Why is it happening to me?" "It's not a 'pony thing.' Everyone feels grief after losing someone they love." "Grief," Discord repeated. He made a face as if the word tasted bad. "I don't like it. How do you make it stop?" Twilight sighed. "You don't," she answered heavily. Another tear dripped into the soaked fur beneath her eyes. "You just have to bear the pain." She offered him a small smile. "But, when it gets to be too much, you can turn to your friends for support." "My friends?" He seemed baffled. "I only ever had one friend, and she's..." "Aren't I your friend?" Twilight asked. "You?" Twilight nodded. "I consider you a friend. I have for a long time. In all these years, haven't you ever thought of me that way?" "Er, well, I—I suppose I have," he admitted. "The thought seems to have snuck in once or twice over the centuries." Twilight's smile widened. "I'm glad to hear that. Because I think you're going to need a friend to get through this. I know I am." For once in his eternal life, Discord wasn't sure what to say. He folded his arms uncomfortably and settled back into the air above Fluttershy's chair; even now, he was careful not to touch it. As he did so, Twilight stood up from her own seat. She picked her way around the miniature volcano, some mouse-like creature with wings, and a floorboard that grew eyes as she stepped over it. Finally, she stood directly in front of the grief-wracked draconequus. "Discord?" "Hmm?" He raised his mismatched eyes, then gasped in surprise as two large purple wings enfolded him. It felt like a feather blanket, fresh from the tiny sun he used as a dryer. It felt like warmth, and caring, and connection. It felt like... well, no, it didn't quite feel like Fluttershy, but it was still nice. Twilight pulled him in close and added her forelegs to the hug. She squeezed harder than she would have dared with another pony—the lord of chaos didn't seem to mind, and she needed this as much as he did. "T... Twilight, I feel—" his voice broke, and a single tear finally slid free of his smaller eye. "What are you doing to me?" "I'm being your friend," she answered simply. "Friends—" her own voice hitched "—friends support each other," she managed to say before breaking down completely. They held each other for a timeless time in the heart of Discord's chaotic realm. Eventually, however, Twilight loosened her grip and they separated. Then the princess cleared her throat uncomfortably. "Discord, I'm sorry to ask, but... is she still here? I'd like to—" she sniffled "—to say goodbye, if that's okay." Discord shook his head. "I told you, you just missed her." He quickly reconsidered. "Well, her... oh, I don't know how to describe it," he muttered in frustration. "The solid part of her is still in the bedroom, but she's not. It's just a shell." His voice cracked again. Twilight put a comforting hoof on his shoulder. "That's what I meant. I know that Fluttershy's gone. It's just that, for physical creatures like us, sometimes it can help to see what's left behind. It's as close as we can get to seeing each other one last time." Discord nodded slowly. "I understand. Well, no, I don't understand at all, but if you think it'll help." He gestured to the back of the small house, toward a closed door. "Thank you." Twilight leaned into him in for a last, brief hug, then headed for the back. The closer she got to the door, the more a sick dread grew in her. Why? This was hardly the first time she'd said goodbye to a friend. Was it because Fluttershy had been the last of the old Elements of Harmony? Discord's magic had kept her alive for centuries, but now the last of Twilight's first real group of friends was gone. She seemed to be moving more slowly with each step. It occurred to her that she didn't want to reach that door. She didn't want to see Fluttershy's body, or to say goodbye to somepony who was already gone. Five minutes. We had centuries, and at the end of it all I was five minutes too late. "Discord?" she asked softly. Bitterly. "Yes?" "Your magic kept her alive for so long." Discord and Twilight were both surprised at the edge of anger creeping into her voice. "She held on for hundreds of years after everyone else was gone. Why couldn't you have waited to let her go until I got here? Why couldn't you have waited five more minutes?!" Discord flinched, and Twilight clapped a hoof to her mouth. "Discord," she whispered once she trusted herself to speak, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to shout." She shook her head and turned away from that horrible door, and what lay beyond it. "I should go. I'm not good company for anyone right now." "It wasn't my choice," Discord interrupted. Twilight paused. "What wasn't your choice?" "Letting her go," he answered sadly. "She kept saying that... she said she wanted..." He coughed uncomfortably. "Well, anyway, we'd been talking about it for a long time. Then, just yesterday, she told me that she was ready to go. I didn't understand it—I still don't—but it was what she wanted. That's why I ended the spell." Twilight took a shaky breath. Discord might not understand, but she did. Only too well. "We're not like you," she replied. "Ponies aren't meant to live forever." "Yes. You might say that I un-broke her timeline." He sighed heavily. "We thought she'd start aging normally again, but instead, it was like all of that time caught up with her all at once. Neither of us expected her to... fade... so quickly. Once we realized what was happening, she insisted that I get a message to you right away." "And you did. And then I was five minutes too late," Twilight finished. Discord couldn't speak anymore; he just nodded. "I'm so, so sorry." She didn't know whether she was offering her condolences to Discord, or apologizing to Fluttershy. Both, perhaps. "I'd give anything to take those five minutes back." Discord's head snapped up. "Wait a minute," he said excitedly, "that's it!" Twilight took a surprised half-step back. "What's what?" "Take those five minutes back!" He darted over until his nose was practically pressed into hers. "Twilight Sparkle, you are almost as much of a genius as I am." "I don't know what you mean." "I know, that's why I said 'almost.'" He lifted his bird claw and put two talons together. "I can't give Fluttershy five more minutes, but I can take five minutes from you!" "Discord, what—?" Her question was lost in a snap and a burst of white light. A pop and a purple flash announced Twilight's arrival outside of Discord's home. With no concern for appearances, the princess of all Equestria galloped up to the door and knocked loudly. The door flew open immediately, apparently of its own volition. "Twilight!" Discord called from the back. "Thank goodness, you're just in time!" The bedroom door was open. Discord stood just beyond it. Behind him, lying in the bed, Fluttershy raised one hoof in a joyful greeting.