Her Regrets

by mina0fficial

First published

Celestia thinks of herself as useless, but Luna thinks otherwise.

Part of the Valiverse Universe

There were times where she could've done something to help Twilight and her friends, but she didn't. Many times she stayed in her bedchambers or attend to her royal duties instead of helping her student when she could do something.

It fills Celestia with guilt, and Luna tries to comfort her sister.

Takes place during Magical Mystery Cure.

The Only Chapter

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"Sister!" Luna pounded on the door with her hoof. The usual guards who were tasked to protect Celestia's room were terrified, but they didn't let it show. It wasn't everyday that they saw the princess of the night angry. Especially when the anger was targeted at her older sister, whom she never properly gets mad at. Until today. "Sister, I know you're in there! You will open the door or I will-"

Yellow aura surrounded the door, pushing it open. Luna huff and entered after shaking her head, not expecting the door to be opened so quickly. She spoke when the door closed. "Sister, Ponyville is in chaos! One of my bat ponies told me that the residents are furious with each other, throwing insults and yelling. And what's with the weather? It is snowing and raining at the same time and it isn't even Hearth's Warming!"

Some of Luna's bat pony guards volunteered to fly around Ponyville hidden. It was a job that Luna had since before her banishment, and it's purpose was to make sure their subjects are safe, no matter where they are. Ever since her return, most of the troubles seem to come from Ponyville and her sister never does anything to help, relying on Twilight most of the time (which worked out well mostly, but still). It made Luna frustrated, but she wasn't able to say anything in fear of another Nightmare Moon fiasco happened should they get in an argument, until today.

The chaos in Ponyville was one that can make Discord proud, and Celestia isn't doing anything about it. She can't possibly let Twilight handle it (as usual) again, right? Luna doubted that Twilight was able to fix whatever that is happening right now. "Sister, Twilight Sparkle can't possibly handle this! What was the spell about?"

Celestia sighed, sitting near the window and hiding her face from Luna's view. "It was a spell that Starswirl was unable to complete. I gave it to Twilight with hopes that she'll be able to complete it," her tone suddenly turned into a cheery one. "Which she will, so don't worry!"

"Tia..." Luna sighed. "I fear that your expectations for Twilight is too high. She won't be able to keep up."

"She will."

"How would you know?"

"She is my student. She has never disappointed me," Celestia said, sounding as if she was reassuring herself than Luna. "Well, except for the time where she uses the 'want it, need it' spell that caused quite the chaos."

"So you leave protecting Equestria to Twilight and her friends? Because they are the bearers of the Elements of Harmony?" Luna asked, taking a few steps towards her sister. "I do agree that some of have worked out well but-"

Luna cut herself off, observing her sister. Now only Luna noticed the tense posture - usually meaning Celestia is upset about something.

Tia could try to hide her feelings all she can, but I know her, thought Luna. Celestia was good at keeping her emotions of her face and voice, but not her body, and it was showing.

"Are you feeling well?" Luna asked.

"Of course I am," Celestia responded, looking slightly confused at the sudden question.

"No, you are clearly not feeling alright," Luna approached her sister, sitting next to her. "As ponies these say- I am all ears."

"Don't worry about it, Luna. I'm alright," Celestia insisted. Luna just stared at her sister with a hard look that told her that she wasn't going to give up, nor would she leave if Celestia didn't talk. Slowly, the alabaster alicorn's smiled faded. She sighed through her nose as she looked back out the window. "You're not giving up, are you?"

"No. You will talk." It was clearly a command rather than a polite request.

"Alright..." Celestia paused, finding the right words then continuing, "Lately, I've been feeling as if I do not have a purpose in this world."

"What made you feel so?" asked a shocked Luna.

"It started when I banished you - Nightmare Moon to the moon. Perhaps I could've found another solution. When Nightmare Moon returned, I let myself get captured to see if Twilight could..." Celestia paused, as if a horrible realization had hit her. "She could've died... Her friends could've too."

"Well, that was my fault," Luna said, guilty of what Nightmare Moon had done.

"No, no it's not!" the older alicorn almost shouted.. "I should've done something! I let Chrysalis and her army attack Canterlot, I let Twilight and her friends fight Sombra and they could've died! There were so many times where I could've helped them but I didn't!"

She had tears streaming down her cheeks. The next part was almost inaudible. "Why didn't I help her? Why am I so useless? Oh, heavens, why am I crying...?"

Luna got closer to her sister, wrapping a wing around Celestia, just like how her sister would do when Luna was upset. "Listen, Tia, you are not useless! If you weren't here during the times where I was banished, what do you think would've happened?"

Celestia didn't respond, sobbing quietly but her eyes had shown that she knew the answers.

"It would've been terrible without you. If you weren't here when I... Lost my ways, the night would've last forever. And if you weren't here when I banished the ponies would've perished. You kept Equestria in peace for a thousand years alone and that is impressive, Tia."

"But Twilight... She could've-"

"-Died, yes, but she didn't because she has an amazing mentor and she has her friends," Luna hugged her sister tightly. "Without you, she wouldn't have met her friends. As far as I know, she truly cares fir her friends and is happy in Ponyville. It is all thanks to you. Please do not cry, sister. You arenot useless, and you never will be," Luna let go. "You know how much they all adore you."

"I know..." Celestia said as she wiped her tears and took a deep breath. "That felt nice and... Quite embarrassing, really. I am the older sister and yet..."

"Tia, you have to stop giving yourself high expectations. It is consuming you. You are entitled to have emotions," Luna said. "Loosen up."

"You should listen to your own advice, you know." Celestia teased, laughing when Luna gave her an unamused look. Luna smiled a bit, seeing that her sister isn't upset anymore. There was a knock on the door. Celestia made sure she didn't look like she had just cried before allowing whoever was outside to enter.

"Princesses," a bat pony bowed.

"Yes, is there anything you need?" asked Luna.

"Ponyville is back to normal, your highness." the bat pony said, explaining further of what he had saw. Their attention was caught when he mentioned something about Twilight writing in a book and the Elements of Harmony blasting her.

"Was this planned?" Luna asked her sister after dismissing the bat pony.

"Perhaps," Celestia said. "We could use another alicorn, don't we? All the trouble Twilight's been through is enough for her to be an alicorn, don't you think."

"Well, perhaps she have done a few things even we haven't been able to-" Luna cut herself off, looking at her sister who was preparing to teleport to a realm their parents had shown them when they were fillies. "Wait, are you seriously going to-"

"We'll talk later, Luna, she's awake." Celestia left just as Luna shouted, "Tia, wait!"

Luna sighed, looking out the window and sighed. She'll talk to Celestia later. It seems like she had to raise the moon and lower the sun for today while her sister busy doing who-knows-what to Twilight.