A Lesson in Romantics

by The Red Parade

First published

Cheerilee loves Meadowbrook. Meadowbrook loves Cheerilee. Hopefully nothing gets lost in between a thousand years of translation.

Cheerilee loves Meadowbrook. Meadowbrook loves Cheerilee. Neither of them knows how to say it, but the bigger problem is that the field of romantics has changed significantly over the course of a thousand years.


Entry for the May Pairings contest. Written with the help of the great and powerful Mushroom, the charming and unyielding themoontonite, the ever-present and encompassing UndomeTinwe, and the all-knowing and faithful Wishcometrue.

Cover art done by the talented and wonderful Skulljooce/Not Quite Equine. Give them some love!

Oh Well, Oh Well

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Cheerilee stood in the hallway with a smile plastered on her face and her eyes closed, most definitely not hiding.

From behind the classroom door there was a massive ruckus, followed by arguing and a chorus of other unsettling noises more fit for a warzone than a classroom.

She wasn’t hiding: she only needed a few seconds. Really!

The classroom door slammed open and three faces piled over each other. “Miss Cheerilee!” cried a voice. “Twist isn’t letting me speak! She keeps talking over me!”

Cheerilee flinched. She only needed a few seconds. “Well, Scootaloo, I don’t—”

“And Featherweight didn’t even do the review questions!” cut in another voice. “How are we supposed to review in groups if he didn’t do anything?”

“Sweetie Belle, I’m sure—”

“Miss Cheerilee? I ain’t got any paper left. Also there ain’t any glue either.”

She only needed a few seconds. But at this point she’d take even one. “Apple Bloom, why do you need glue—”

“Cheerilee,” called another voice from around the corner. “You have a visitor!”

Cheerilee’s heart dropped at that and she swallowed heavily. “Okay, girls, go back inside and I’ll help you all out,” she said as sweetly as she could, ushering the girls back into the classroom. “Send her over, Amethyst!”

As the door shut, Cheerilee groaned, gently pressing her forehead against the wall. “Just one day where everything goes right! Why can’t I have just! One! Day!”

“Oh, I’m sorry… is this a bad time?”

Cheerilee whirled around to see a shock of blue and green standing in front of her. “O-oh, goodness! Mage Meadowbrook!”

Meadowbrook smiled politely. “Are you Miss Cheerilee?”

“Yes, I am,” Cheerilee stammered, blinking several times. What could a Pillar of Equestria want with her? Wait… a Pillar of Equestria is here, and you’re just standing there?! Her eyes bulged as the sudden realization crashed upon her, and she began to kneel, keeping her eyes on Meadowbrook.

Meadowbrook blinked at her before quickly shaking her head with a gasp. “Oh, there’s no need for that! Please, uh, I don’t believe in those kinds of formalities!”

Cheerilee froze, legs still halfway bent. Oh Celestia, you just insulted one of the most relevant figures in Equestria. Good job, Cheerilee! “I-I didn’t mean to insult you!”

“No, you haven’t,” Meadowbrook insisted, eyes darting up and down the hall.

Slowly, Cheerilee unlocked her legs standing up straight with a sigh of relief.

“I was actually hoping to ask you about something,” Meadowbrook explained. “I heard there was an ancient love poison used here, and you were one of the victims?”

Cheerilee’s cheeks began to burn bright red with humiliation. “Oh, yes,” she said, coughing into her hoof. “I… try not to think about that too much.”

Meadowbrook’s ears drooped and Cheerilee’s panic set in again.

“Er, but I’d love to discuss it with you!” Cheerilee blurted hurriedly.

Before Meadowbrook could respond, there was the shattering of glass followed by a chorus of gasps from inside the classroom.

“Just… maybe not now!”

Meadowbrook nodded hurriedly. “I can, er, come back later?”

“Please do! I would love to speak with you! About the potion! And whatever else you’d need!” Cheerilee exclaimed, sweating as she backpedaled to the door. “I… I’ll be here!”

“Okay!” Meadowbrook replied, half-raising her hoof to wave as Cheerilee kicked open the door. “I’ll come back—”

Cheerilee slammed the door closed, the blinds rattling violently.

She blinked a few times, staring at the door, before realizing she had just slammed a door on one of Equestria’s literal living legends. “Oh dear.” But before she could open the door to apologize, there was a desperate shriek from behind her. “Miss Cheerilee! Rumble’s eating glue! Make him stop!”

Cheerilee died a bit inside at that.


Meadowbrook stood in front of the schoolhouse with wide eyes and an awestruck grin plastered on her face.

The land around the building was peaceful and placid, filled with birds chirping in the air and squirrels darting in and out of the low bushes. The entire scene was serene, and Meadowbrook could almost picture the eager faces of the schoolchildren inside, ready to learn and play.

The thought almost had her prancing in place. Though perhaps it was also the nerves.

Meadowbrook was responsible! Princess Twilight just… didn’t see it that way. It had only been one experiment gone wrong, but the Princess had put her hoof down and ordered that Meadowbrook carry out her next ‘experiment’ under her guidance.

And so, Meadowbrook reluctantly left her pharmacy in the care of Cattail and her junior apothecaries and ventured to Ponyville: to research the abrupt and accidental resurgence of the fabled Prince’s Poison.

That search had led her here: to Ponyville’s Schoolhouse. The teacher from the stories had to have been powerful: why else would her students attempt such an endeavor?

Meadowbrook took a deep breath to steady herself. She was starting to wish she had brushed up on her diplomacy skills, but it was too late now.

With a confident nod, the healer trotted into the building. The first thing she saw was a desk manned by a busy unicorn. “Excuse me?”

The unicorn looked up expectantly.

“I’m looking to speak with a Miss Cheerilee?”

“She’s a bit busy at the moment with her class,” the unicorn said, standing up. “But I’ll see if she has a second for you.”

After a moment, the unicorn waved her through the hall. “She’s right over there.”

Meadowbrook thanked the aide and trotted down the hall, finally laying eyes…

...on a purple mare banging her head into the wall, silently muttering to herself.

“Oh, I’m sorry… is this a bad time?”

The mare whipped her head around to stare at her, eyes nearly bulging from her skull, and Meadowbrook instantly regretted speaking.

Oh, stupid Meadow! Is banging on the wall something ponies do nowadays? Is what you just said disrespectful? Why didn’t you read Twilight’s book on custom changes?!
“O-Oh goodness! Mage Meadowbrook!”

Meadowbrook swallowed hard. Oh, she recognizes me? Oh dear. “Are you Miss Cheerilee?” she asked, hoping she hadn’t stammered.

“Yes, I am,” the mare answered, blinking rapidly.

Meadwbrook stood and smiled, but inside her brain began sparking. Why is she staring at me like that? Is there something on my face?

As thoughts flew through Meadowbrook’s mind, she vaguely picked up Cheerilee’s form dropping to the ground.

“Oh, there’s no need for that,” Meadow blurted before she could bite her tongue. “Please, uh, I don’t believe in those kinds of formalities!” Instantly, Meadowbrook regretted the words. Cheerilee was a schoolteacher, an epitome of etiquette and pride!

And to her horror, Cheerilee’s eyes bulged wider as she uncertainly rose to full height, staring down at her with violently violet eyes. It was then that Meadowbrook became painfully aware of their height difference and she shrunk back further in fear. Cheerilee sighed softly… was that in disappointment?

Meadowbrook was well and truly butchering this.

“I was actually hoping to ask you about something,” Meadowbrook stuttered, trying to catch her reeling mind. “I heard there was an ancient love poison used here, and you were one of the victims?”

At that Cheerilee’s face took on a shade of red: likely born of rage or anger. “Oh, yes,” she said, muttering from behind her hoof. “I… try not to think about that too much.”

That did it. Meadowbrook dropped in humiliation. Her first encounter with a modern, respected academic was a total, irreparable failure.

“Er, but I’d love to discuss it with you!” Cheerilee suddenly remarked.

Meadowbrook blinked at that, a glimmer of hope filling her body. But before she could speak, there was a loud crashing from within the classroom and her eyes flicked to the shut door.

“Just… maybe not now!”

Once those words were processed Meadowbrook nodded rapidly. “I can, er, come back later?”she offered.

“Please do,” Cheerilee chirped. “I would love to speak with you! About the potion! And whatever else you’d need!” She began backing to the door while holding a smile. “I… I’ll be here!”

“Okay!” Meadowbrook replied, half-raising her hoof to wave. “I’ll come back—”

The door slamming shut cut her off.

“—later.”

It took Meadowbrook a few seconds to fully come to terms with what had happened. “Well!” she said, lowering her hoof to the ground. “...well.” Her ears drooped and she sighed. “Well,” she muttered. “You sure screwed that one up.”

Cheerilee All Over

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3 Months Later


“Miss Cheerilee?”

Cheerilee blinked, looking up at the whiteboard where the Cutie Mark Crusaders were holding a pose and a smile dramatically.

“Miss Cheerilee,” whispered Sweetie Belle harshly from the front. “We’re done!”

Done with wha— “OH!” Cheerilee smiled widely as her mind kickstarted itself. “Oh! Yes! Wonderful presentation! Let’s give them a round of applause!”

“Again? It wasn’t even that—”

Cheerilee cut off the disgruntled student by clapping loudly, and a few others joined in.

The three foals bowed and Cheerilee stood from her desk, trotting back to the whiteboard.

Apple Bloom tapped her on the shoulder. “Can we see your notes Miss Cheerilee? We really want to know how we did!”

Cheerilee looked down at her notepad. A blank sheet of paper stared back at her.

“Uh… I’ll get those to you later!”

Satisfied, Apple Bloom returned to her seat, leaving Cheerilee to rapidly reassemble her lesson plans. She turned to the whiteboard, reading the chalked words to herself and wishing she hadn’t mentally checked out half an hour ago.

“Okay! What a wonderful presentation by the Cutie Mark Crusaders on… their topic! Remember class, we’ll be having a short math quiz tomorrow, before we move into our unit on biology and the Everfree Meadows!”

She turned around to see a hoof in the air. “Yes, Sweetie Belle?”

“What are the Everfree Meadows?” questioned the unicorn.

Cheerilee blinked again. “The what?”

“You just said next week we’re going to learn about the Everfree Meadows!” Sweetie Belle said. “I never heard of that before!”

“Did I?” Cheerilee tilted her head in confusion. “Oh, I’m sorry class, I meant the Everfree Forest. Just a slip of the tongue!”

The class reacted with general ambivalence, minus Sweetie Belle who was attempting to erase something in her notes but only smudging the text further.

With that, the bell rang, and the class beelined for the door.

Cheerilee sighed, a wistful grin on her face as she gathered her materials and checked to see if any students were lingering to ask her a question. Satisfied with the lack of questioning foals, she exited the classroom and headed for the desk outside.

Amethyst Star greeted her with a nod, hooves still clacking away at her typewriter. “Hello, Miss Cheerilee. Good class?”

“Oh, great!” Cheerilee replied enthusiastically. “The class presentations are going splendidly.”

As the days went by, Cheerilee was increasingly glad she had hired Amethyst as a personal assistant. Not only was she great at helping with the administrative duties the EEC was dumping on her, but she was also great at keeping out… unsavory ponies that Cheerilee was never in the mood for. Particularly one such president of the parent-teacher association.

“So any plans for the rest of today, Miss Cheerilee?” asked Amethyst as she turned to file away some folders.

Cheerilee giggled. “Oh, not much. Meadowbrook and I are going to Roseluck’s shop to observe some of her new plant varieties! I admit biology isn’t one of my strong suits, but Meadow makes it so interesting to learn about!”

Amethyst turned around slowly, a wide grin forming on her face. It was the kind of grin that reminded Cheerilee of Diamond Tiara whenever she was struck by a particularly devilish scheme. “So… sounds like you two are getting rather close then?”

“I suppose,” Cheerilee hummed, flipping through some of her notes. “Her presence has been so wonderful!”

“What was it she wanted?” Amethyst asked, drawing a small circle on the desk with her hoof and continuing to grin. “Did she ever finish that love poison study?”

“Oh yes, ages ago I think,” Cheerilee replied.

Amethyst laughed. “Well then! I wonder why she’s still here.”

Cheerilee tapped her chin in thought. “I… you know, I’m not certain. I suppose she’s found the Everfree Forest an interesting venture to study?”

“Are you sure it isn’t you?”

Cheerilee turned slowly to look at Amethyst and blinked several times, trying to process what she had said. “What do you…” Her eyes went wide as the realization hit her, resulting in a flush of red to her cheeks. “Why! I… I certainly don’t think that!”

“Oh come on, Cheerilee! I’ve worked with you for almost a year now, and you have definitely been happier since meeting her,” Amethyst said, poking Cheerilee in the chest. “You should ask her out!”

“Amethyst!” Cheerilee cried. “I… I couldn’t possibly ask out one of the Pillars of Equestria!”

“Well why not? I’ve seen how you two are! She makes you happy, Cheerilee,” Amethyst pressed. “Happy in a way nopony else can. Come on, at least try!”

Cheerilee stared down at the wooden floor. “But… what if she says no?”

“Well, what if she says yes?”

She considered the options carefully before sighing. “Well. I will… think about it.”

“As if you haven’t been thinking about her already,” Amethyst giggled. “You should get going! You don’t want to be late!”

Cheerilee gasped, glancing up at the clock. “Oh goodness! You’re right!”

With that, Cheerilee galloped off down the hall, with Amethyst calling after her: “Tell me how it goes!”

As she left the schoolhouse, Cheerilee couldn’t deny that something was fluttering inside of her chest.

She hoped it was nothing.


Meadowbrook sighed, leaning back in her chair and staring up at the ceiling. She counted ten Equestrias in her head, then stood up, went into the other room, and glanced at the pony seated on the ground. “Somnambula? Are you done yet?”

“Have patience, my friend,” replied Somnambula, causing Meadowbrook to suppress a groan.

At first she had been delighted that her old friend had come by to visit, and for the first few days it was comforting having a familiar face in her room at the castle. But as the days marched on, Meadowbrook was quickly reminded of Somnambula’s rather strange habits.

She sighed and began pacing the floor to occupy herself. “Well, I don’t want to rush you, but I’m meeting with a friend soon, and I really don’t want to be late.”

“Ah. Would this friend be the Cheerilee pony you have told me about?” asked Somnambula without opening her eyes.

Meadowbrook nodded before realizing that Somnambula couldn’t see the action. “Er, yes,” she answered. “Cheerilee’s been a dear friend of mine in fact! I should really introduce you two to each other.”

Somanmbula let out a low hum. “Are you certain, my friend, that she is merely a friend?”

“What?” Meadowbrook tilted her head in confusion. “What do you mean by that?”

“I have read your letters from these new times,” Somnambula replied with a smile growing on her lips. “And they bear in them a hope and light I have not seen from you before. Not even in the span of a thousand years.”

Meadowbrook turned away, mostly to hide the blush creeping onto her face. “Why! Whatever are you saying?”

Somnambula only smiled. “I mean no harm. I am happy for you, Meadow. Happy that you have found love in this world.”

“L-Love?!” Meadowbrook almost tripped over hooves. “Love is a… strong word!” she insisted. “Cheerilee and I are only friends!”

Somnambula cracked open an eye but didn’t speak.

“Seriously! Don’t look at me like that!”

When Somnambula only grinned wider, Meadowbrook threw her hooves up in the air. “Ugh! Whatever.”

“You could be.”

Meadowbrook glanced over her shoulder. “What?”

“You are merely friends, but you could be more,” Somnambula said, shutting her eye again. “The choice is in your hooves, Meadowbrook.”

Neither pony spoke until Meadowbrook turned for the door. “I… I will think about it. But I really must get going.”

“Of course,” Somnambula replied. “Enjoy yourself.”

As Meadowbrook stepped out into the hall, she paused to consider Somnambula’s words.

Could they really be more than friends?

Meadowbrook wasn’t certain, but something inside her chest tingled at the thought.


“These are beautiful!”

“Oh, they’re wonderful, Rose!”

“The horror! The horror!

The three ponies ignored the shrieks from behind them as Daisy wailed.

Meadowbrook held a magnifying glass up to her eye, taking in the beautiful aura of the rose in front of her.

Cheerilee scribbled a note in her book, sketching in the details and curves.

Roseluck nodded proudly, standing a little bit taller. “Thank you, Mage. It was definitely a challenge to grow, but I’m so proud of it!”

“I can only imagine,” Meadowbrook replied. “It reminds me of the variety that used to grow near the swamp all those years ago.”

“The swirling on the petals is stunning,” Cheerilee affirmed. “I’ve seen flowers like these in books, but never in person.”

Meadowbrook giggled. “I’m not surprised, Cheerilee! You spend too much time with your books, you need to get out into the world more!”

“Oh, please,” Cheerilee retorted. “Look where books got Princess Twilight!”

They threw back their heads and laughed.

“Oh, my chrysanthemums! The horror!” The cry was followed by the crashing of flower pots onto the floor, but none of the three batted an eye.

“May I hold it?” asked Cheerilee.

Meadowbrook nodded and passed the flower over to her gently. Cheerilee held it up to her face, inhaling gently and letting the fertile scent reach her nose. Meadowbrook’s head was a blurred silhouette behind it, but as the seconds passed Cheerilee found herself looking past the flower and at her friend instead.

As Roseluck prattled on about how she had created this particular flower, Amethyst’s words echoed in her mind.

Little did she know that Somnambula’s words were hunting Meadowbrook’s mind as well.

“She was right… I think I love her,” they both thought.

“Please, won’t anyone think of the flowers?!”

Both of them were yanked from their heads at the same time and game to a crushing realization as to their position: each had a hoof on the flower with their faces in close proximity: inches from the flower stem and inches more from the other.

They reacted by pulling away instantly, the flower almost tumbling to the floor.

“Er, yes, we—”

“I think that—”

Both their eyes went wide as they cut each other off. Then their eyes fell away in embarrassment as they waited for the other to continue, resulting instead in a pregnant silence.

“I’ll be sure to send you samples when the rest bloom,” Roseluck finally offered as she returned the flower to her protective case.

“Yes!” said Meadowbrook. “Yes. Yes. Yes, um. Thank you, Roseluck.”

“Meadow,” Cheerilee said, her voice cracking slightly. “Perhaps we should go to dinner? If you’d have me, of course?”

Meadow smiled. “Of course, I’d love to!”

With that, they said goodbye to Roseluck and darted from the store, carefully stepping over Daisy’s sprawled body on the floor, half-covered in dirt, fertilizer, and flower petals.

“Oh, bury me with my petunias…” she whimpered as the door shut. When the bell rang to signal their exit, Daisy opened her eyes and stood. She shrugged, dusted herself off, and continued sweeping the floor while whistling a tune.

As they blinked in the midmorning sunlight, both Meadowbrook and Cheerilee thought over the past hours. They moved down the streets lost in thought, but realized at the same time how close they were to each other.

Simultaneously, they blushed and pulled away, instantly missing the warm comfort of the other.

“So,” Cheerilee said. “I was wondering… would you be interested in joining me tonight? For dinner, I mean! I was thinking we could go get some dinner tonight? At, um… Cafe Hay!”

She regretted the words as soon as she said them. Cafe Hay?! Cheerilee you idiot, why would you suggest there?


Meadowbrook failed to notice her friend’s crisis as her own mind began to spiral out of control. She… she wants to do fieldwork with me?! This could be my chance! “I… I would love to!” Meadowbrook almost shouted.

“Okay! I’ll meet you there? At, um… six?” Cheerilee stammered.

“Alright. Is there anything I need to know about the fieldsite?” Meadowbrook asked.

Fieldsite? Cheerilee blinked in confusion. “Um… it’s a restaurant?”

“Restaurant. Got it. I’ll see you then!” Meadowbrook answered, the gears starting to turn in her mind. “I need to go… get ready!”

Cheerilee waved mechanically, a fake smile plastered on her face. “Of… of course! I’ll meet you there!”

She stood with locked legs and Meadowbrook retreated into the town, trying to parse out what had just been said. Eventually, after a couple of seconds, the realization hit her. “Oh. Oh! She thinks I’m asking her to study something.”

Cheerilee perked up, then deflated a bit. “I guess… she didn’t realize I wanted it to be a date.”

“Miss Cheerilee!”

The mare recoiled as a booming voice dripping with snobbery shouted her name. Cheerilee glanced over her shoulder to see the devil herself marching towards her. “O-oh. Hello, Spoiled Rich,” Cheerilee answered with a thinly-veiled disgust.

She began moving, hoping that she could outrun Spoiled without looking like she was running, but Spoiled picked up her pace to stay right on her tail.

“I need to speak with you, Cheerilee!” Spoiled declared.

“I’m afraid I’m rather busy at the moment!” Cheerile replied, her eyes desperately glancing up and down the streets for somewhere to take sanctuary.

Spoiled laughed, pitched and snooty. “This will only take a second. Now I recall from our last meeting you found my donation… insufficient?”

“Yes, I refused to accept your bribe,” Cheerilee growled, locking eyes on the flower store and adjusting her course for it.

“Semantics, really,” replied Spoiled. “But if you found the bit sum to be insufficient, perhaps consider—”

“No!” Cheerilee exclaimed. “Your daughter has done absolutely nothing wrong! There is no feasible reason for me to punish her the way you’re suggesting, or at all for that matter!”

Spoiled gasped. “Why, Miss Cheerilee! You simply don’t understand the methodology of being a good parent! When your foal disobeys and disrespects you, you must right the course by whatever means. And my dear Diamond seems to have forgotten this, so I seek to remedy the issue. Now, about my offer—”

“One second,” Cheerilee said, pushing open the door to the flower store.

As the bell rang, Daisy snapped her head to the door and the broom fell out of her hooves. “Oh, the horror!” She fell backwards, knocking over several pots and landing on several bags of fertilizer.

Spoiled Rich gasped, her eyes growing wide as she saw the unsavory contents. “Er… I see you’re very busy, so I’ll come back later. But please, do consider this offer. I believe it’d be in your best interest, Miss Cheerilee,” she declared, passing her a sheet of paper while fighting back a gag.

As Spoiled left the store, Cheerilee glanced at the paper, eyes widening at the values typed onto it. “That’s… that’s absurd,” she muttered in disbelief. “All this to place Diamond in detention for a few weeks?”

She sighed, shoving the paper into her bags. Cheerilee decided to ignore the matter for now. After all, she had several chores to do before her date.

“Oh, my fertilizer! The horror!”

And possibly a shower as well.

Take This to Heart

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Meadowbrook paced the floor deep in thought, rubbing her chin as she tried to remember days from thousands of years ago.

“Oh, drat! I just can’t remember,” she spat dejectedly.

“Remember what?”

Meadowbrook leapt into the air with a yelp. “Oh! Somnambula, when did you get there?”

Somnambula wisely decided not to point out that she had been in the room before Meadowbrook had walked in. “Is something troubling you?”

“Ah…” Meadowbrook cleared her throat, straightening herself. “Well, I think you were… right about how I feel towards Cheerilee,” she admitted.

“Wonderful!” Somnambula clapped her hooves together approvingly. “Truly, I am overjoyed you have found someone to love!”

Meadowbrook blushed as Somnambula came over to hug her. “Thank you, but… I’m just not sure how to say it! I’ve been trying to think of how romantics were back in our time, but… well, it was really more of Mistmane’s expertise than mine.”

Somnambula nodded. “Ah. Romance can be a strange endeavor, can it not? It can lead to hope, but at the same time it can stray away. But remember, my friend: sometimes you must find the courage to fight for that which you love.”

“Much like an alchemy experiment, I suppose,” Meadowbrook sighed, trotting over to her kitchen. “Cheerilee asked me to join her for some fieldwork later today. I hope to use it to tell her how I feel; in fact, I spent the morning putting together some poems inspired by the classical ones written from our time. But something just feels missing...” As she reached for a mug, her eyes fell upon a simple appliance: a silver teaspoon. “Oh!” she shouted, glee filling her face. “Of course!”

“What is it?” inquired Somnambula as she poked her head into the room.

“Spoons!” declared Meadowbrook. “I need to find a woodworker!”


Cheerilee pranced in a circle, muttering to herself while Amethyst watched in bemusement from behind her cramped desk.

“Nervous?” teased Amethyst.

“Of course not!” Cheerilee gulped. “I’m only asking out one of the most powerful and legendary figures in Equestrian history! Who could most certainly smite me, or call upon someone else to smite me in her name!”

Amethyst nodded, sipping from her ‘#2 Assistant’ mug (Spike had stolen her ‘#1 Assistant’ one). “I think you might be overthinking things.”

Cheerile sighed, gently pressing her forehead into the wall. “Maybe I am. I just want things to go right tonight!”

“Well she said yes to a date, didn’t she?” pointed out Amethyst. “That’s a good start.”

“I may not have… phrased it as such,” Cheerilee coughed. “She… thinks we’re doing some fieldwork.”

Amethyst shrugged. “Well you’re just going to have to tell her directly then.”

Cheerilee scuffed a hoof on the floor nervously. “Drat. I guess I will, won’t I?” She sighed, heading for the exit. “Well, I better get going; I have to pick up a few things for tonight.”

“Good luck!” called Amethyst.


The Cafe Hay was fairly busy for a weekday. Customers were happily chatting amongst themselves. Meadowbrook took in the sight from the foyer, watching wide-eyed as the ponies went about enjoying their evening.

“Oh, Meadow! Were you waiting long?” called Cheerilee as she trotted into the foyer.

“Not at all!” beamed Meadowbrook, turning to face her friend.

Cheerilee was dressed in a simple burgundy dress, a heart-shaped box tucked in her foreleg.

Meadowbrook meanwhile was wearing her typical bright green dress, with her mane towered upwards in a cone.

I’m overdressed, cursed Cheerilee.

I’m underdressed, lamented Meadowbrook.

“Ma’ams? Right this way,” nudged the waiter gently, drawing nods and smiles from both. The two meandered through a sea of tables, occasionally stealing glances at the other. They were seated and offered menus, before the waiter lit the candle between them and left them alone.

“So,” Meadowbrook began, swallowing a lump in her throat. “You look wonderful today!”

Cheerilee held the menu to her face to block her blush. “T-thank you! You look fantastic yourself!”

“Oh, I’m not dressed for this,” replied Meadowbrook with a bit of humiliation. “I didn’t know this would be so… formal.”

That got a gasp out of Cheerilee. “I’m so sorry! I should have told you—”

“Nonono,” Meadowbrook blurted. “I didn’t mean it was your fault!”

The two stared wide-eyed at each other before giggling, eyes darting away nervously.

“The, um, soup looks wonderful,” offered Cheerilee lamely. She reached for her glass of water and her hoof nudged a box, reminding her of the gift she had brought. “Oh! Before I forget, I bought this for you!”

Meadowbrook’s face lit up and a pang of hope shot through Cheerilee’s heart. “Wow! Thank you!”

She took them in her hooves, studying the box carefully. Clearly it contained specimens! “I’ll make sure to study these later!”

Cheerilee grimaced but held her smile. She… she doesn’t want to eat them. She hates them. Cheerilee, why did you think chocolates were a good idea?!

“Excuse me, madams,” interrupted the waiter. “May I take your orders?”

Both mares blinked before scrambling for their menus. “Ah, I think I’ll have the cream soup!” Cheerilee declared.

“And I’ll have the, erm…. carrot… salad!” Meadowbrook answered.

The waiter nodded, bowed, and withdrew, leaving them alone once again.

“So… Carrot salad, huh?” Cheerilee asked. “Going for the rabbit diet?”

Meadowbrook blinked then giggled. “Ah, I was a bit overwhelmed by the choices, to be honest.”

“Oh, I understand, I’m just teasing,” Cheerilee replied, poking a hoof in Meadow’s direction.

They both laughed, and suddenly felt the weight in their stomachs dissolving.

Cheerilee leaned back in her chair, adjusting her silverware. “So, have you ever had dinners like this before?”

“I can’t say that I have,” Meadowbrook answered. “Obviously we didn’t have places this fancy in the past.”

“Yes, you all ate outside on the grass like a group of heathens,” Cheerilee lamented.

Meadowbrook gasped and swatted at Cheerilee’s hoof as she laughed. “You dare! I’ll have you know we were quite cultured back then!”

“I’m certain you were,” Cheerilee replied through laughs. “But what about after?”

“Mmm, no,” Meadowbrook answered. “No, I never had the interest. I believe that Mistmane wrote to me about the experience but it never did catch my glance.”

Cheerilee leaned back in her chair. “Amazing. So your first experience with quality modern Equestrian food will be… a carrot salad. Something you could have made yourself either then or now.”

Meadowbrook considered this point. “Yes,” she answered. “I suppose it is.”

They both burst into snorting, infectious laughter at that.

Their conversation carried on to other topics, and their thoughts of romancing didn’t return until the waiter arrived with their food.

As the waiter took his leave again their conversation died down, and both Meadowbrook and Cheerilee went back to fidgeting and playing with the edges of their dresses.

“So,” Meadowbrook finally said, drumming her hooves on the side of the table. “I… oh! I had something to give you!” She fumbled out an ornate wooden box and laid it on the table.

Cheerilee let out a soft gasp as she undid the latch and opened it. “Oh!” She removed a simple wooden spoon, covered with carved decorations and pictures. “A… a spoon!”

“Yes!” replied Meadowbrook eagerly, gauging her reaction.

Cheerilee blinked several times, hefting the spoon in her hoof. She then dipped it into her soup and held it to her lips. The spoon’s basin however wasn’t very deep and as a result not much made it to her lips.

“It’s wonderful!” Cheerilee declared.

Meadowbrook didn’t know how to respond to that.

She had studied carefully the ideology of the lovespoon, originating from the Welsh Cob culture. The spoons were given as a sign of romantic interest: signifying from one to the other that they loved them.

Meadowbrook had never heard of someone using a lovespoon to drink soup, and so she had no idea if Cheerilee was flattered or offended by the gesture.

Cheerilee set the spoon down, heart pounding in her chest. Was Meadowbrook offended by her action? Meadowbrook wore a blank face with wide eyes, and Cheerilee was convinced she had committed some terrible cultural sin.

Seconds later though, Meadowbrook blinked and smiled. “Erm… how is the soup?”

“Great!” replied Cheerilee automatically. “It’s great! The spoon, I mean. The soup is great as well! How is the salad?”

“Good,” answered Meadowbrook before realizing she hadn’t actually eaten it yet. Quickly she stabbed a fork into a spinach leaf and put it in her mouth. “Great in fact! As good as it looks!”

Cheerilee inhaled sharply, drawing up whatever courage she had left. Enough of this, you’re making a fool of yourself. Remember what Amethyst said. Be direct!

“Meadowbrook, I—”

“Miss Cheerilee!”

Cheerilee paled whiter than death as a sickening voice called out her name. “Oh please. Not now. Just one second,” she whispered as Spoiled Rich strolled over.

“Why, what a coincidence meeting you here!” Spoiled declared, drawing the eyes of everyone in the cafe. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything?”

“You actually are—”

“Splendid! Now, have you considered my offer, Cheerilee?” asked Spoiled, putting a hoof on Cheerilee’s shoulder.

Cheerilee didn’t answer, remembering the folded sheet of paper in her purse.

Spoiled leaned in, her mouth next to her ear. “You’d be a fool to say no,” she purred. “After all, I know how much you teachers are paid. It’s bafflingly low! This would be enough for you to do anything you could ever want.”

As Spoiled spoke, Cheerilee studied the tablecloth. The rational part of her mind said that Spoiled had a point: she could use the money to upgrade the classroom, or even purchase some supplies for her lessons…

...but at what cost?

Across the table and unnoticed by Cheerilee or Spoiled, Meadowbrook began grinding her teeth. Something churned in her stomach. Something vile. “Excuse me,” she said to draw their attention. “We were in the middle of something.”

“Oh, my mistake,” Spoiled replied with a roll of her eyes. “Cheerilee, may we go somewhere private?”

A suitor. Meadowbrook’s heart skipped a beat and Somnambula’s words echoed in her ear. Sometimes you must find the courage to fight for that which you love.

“Alright.” Meadowbrook stood, stepping first onto her chair then the table as the crowd gasped around them. “So this is how it is?!” she shouted, pointing a hoof at Spoiled, her eyes blinded by rage. “Fine! I challenge you to a duel for Cheerilee’s heart!”

A chorus of dramatic gasps rose from the crowd, along with a faint ‘the horror’ from somewhere near the back.

Spoiled’s eyes went wide. “W-What?! A duel?!”

“...for my heart?” echoed Cheerilee in a shocked whisper.

Meadowbrook pawed the table cloth, dropping her stance and knocking over their drinks. “You’re quite lucky that I’m a healer, dear,” she spat. “Because in a few seconds, you’re going to need one!

With that she lunged forwards, but her rear hoof caught against the cloth and she slammed into the table.

Cheerilee’s soup flew into the air, the liquid leaping from the bowl and impacting against Spoiled’s body. “Argh! No, not my dress!”

“M-Meadowbrook!” exclaimed a new voice from nearby.

Meadowbrook looked to the right to see Twilight and her friend (the white unicorn one) seated nearby, agape in abject horror.

“What?! Is that… not a suitor?” asked Meadowbrook, turning back to look at Cheerilee.

Cheerilee blinked then shook her head, still trying to process what had just happened.

Then Meadowbrook understood. She climbed off the table, took a deep breath, then bolted from the room as tears welled in her eyes.

The patrons shrugged and began slowly returning to their meals.

“You!” snapped Spoiled Rich, finally overcoming her shock. “What is the meaning of this?! Who was that?!”

Cheerilee’s mind finally came to life, connecting the dots as to what had just occurred. She turned so that her soup-stained face met Spoiled’s. “That was my friend,” she growled. “And I’m quite fond of her, so if you’ll excuse me.”

She stood, but Spoiled blocked her. “Enough! Do you accept my deal?!” bellowed Spoiled.

Cheerilee reached into her purse and pulled out the paper. Then, she moved it over the candle so it caught on fire, then threw it on the ground. “There is your answer,” she spat. “And if you ever attempt to raise this with me again I will rain down upon you the full wrath of the EEA and every other educational institution this side of Equestria.”

With that, Cheerilee turned her nose up and shoved past her, trotting towards the door and heart fluttering in her throat.

She had to admit… that felt pretty good.

As she stepped into the cool air, she looked up and down the moonlit streets.

Where had Meadowbrook gone?


Meadowbrook was, for all intents and purposes, dead.

Or rather, she wished she were.

She had bolted straight home, cheeks burning in a humiliation she hadn’t felt since she had bungled the pony pox cure, and locked herself in her bedroom.

Somnambula had tried to console her but Meadowbrook didn’t respond. Instead, she curled up in a ball beneath her blankets and cried harder than she ever had. “She hates me!” she sobbed. “I ruined it!”

She was only vaguely aware of Somnambula piling blankets on top of her and whispering comforting words to her, but she still heard the knocks on her door like they were thunderclaps.

“And now Princess Twilight’s come to arrest me!” she cried.

Somnambula gave her a curious glance before answering.

“Is Meadowbrook in?” asked a familiar voice.

Whatever was left of Meadowbrook’s heart shattered and she burrowed deeper into the pile of blankets.

She heard the thumping of hoofsteps against the floor and felt a hoof patting against the side. “Meadow? I know you’re in there, silly.”

Meadowbrook whimpered as the blankets were stripped away, her hooves clawing against them. “L-leave me alone!”

Her demands went unmet and soon her head was exposed to the air again. But even then she refused to meet Cheerilee’s gaze.

Then, she felt a gentle hoof against her chin, and Cheerilee lifted Meadow’s eyes so they met her own.

Cheerilee’s face and dress were covered in soup and water, but she smiled and her eyes brimmed with a strange gleam.

“I-I’m sorry,” Meadowbrook choked out. “I’m so sorry, Cheerilee, I ruined everything!”

Cheerilee didn’t answer and instead pulled Meadowbrook into a hug. “I don’t think you have,” she said. “Tonight was the most fun I’ve ever had at a formal dinner!”

Meadowbrook stared at her in confusion.

“Meadow,” Cheerilee started. “Did you really try to fight Spoiled for me?”

She blushed, but Meadow couldn’t hide the truth. “...yes,” she admitted. “Cheerilee, you’re… you’re my very best friend and I’ve come to realize—”

“That I mean a lot to you?” finished Cheerilee, smiling widely. “I’ve realized you mean a lot to me too.” She blushed hard but persevered. “I… Meadowbrook, I love you. And… and I would be honored if we could—”

“Yes!” blurted Meadowbrook. “Yes! I— um, Cheerilee, will you be my girlfriend?”

“Of— of course! But I was going to ask you first…”

They trailed off, eyes wide and blush tainting their cheeks. Then they laughed and embraced each other, letting their anxieties and embarrassment melt away.

“I was so scared you didn’t feel the same!”

“So was I!”

“We… we should have just said so much earlier,” Cheerilee said, wiping tears of joy from her eyes. “It would have saved us the trouble.”

Meadowbrook nodded, sighing in relief. “Ah, well… I suppose we both have much to learn in the field of romantics.”

With that, Cheerilee joined Meadowbrook on the bed, allowing Meadow to lay her head on her chest. “I suppose you’ll owe Twilight an apology tomorrow,” she whispered.

Meadowbrook only blushed. “Let’s… deal with that in the morning.”

“Fine with me.”

And they fell silent, enjoying the other’s embrace as Somnambula watched and squealed silently from the doorway.

Epilouge: Champagne's For Celebrating (I'll Have a Martini)

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Meadowbrook sighed, leaning back on the picnic blanket and staring up at the brilliant blue sky.

“More salad, honey?”

“Mm-hm!”

Cheerilee passed over another plate loaded with carrot salad with a wry smile. “Well, someone is looking comfortable.”

Meadowbrook waved her hoof. “A mage needs her rest!”

“Rest from what? You haven’t done anything all day!” cried Cheerilee.

Meadowbrook gasped, putting a hoof over her heart. “I never! You’d dare insult a Pillar of Equestria like that?!”

Cheerilee considered this. “Yes,” she affirmed. “And I’d do it again!”

They both laughed, relishing as the other’s voice mixed with the lazy wind and chirping birds.

“Here, before I forget,” Cheerilee said, removing two bottles from the picnic basket. “Filthy Rich sent me theses as an apology for how his wife acted!”

“Champagne?” questioned Meadowbrook. “I thought champagne's for celebrating?”


“We can celebrate!” Cheerilee said eagerly, passing Meadow a glass.

Meadowbrook accepted it, glancing at Cheerilee. “Well, what are we celebrating?”

“Let’s celebrate… us! You and me!” Cheerilee decided.

Meadowbrook giggled. “You’re so sappy!”

Cheerilee stuck out her tongue, and popped the cork off…

...only for it to sail and bounce off of Meadowbrook’s head.

Cheerilee gasped, her heart freezing in place as Meadow gazed at her with shock. Oh no. Please don’t tell me I…

Then, Meadowbrook blinked a few times and laughed.

Seconds later, Cheerilee laughed too.

“Here’s to you and me then,” Meadowbrook declared, filling up her glass.

“To you and me,” Cheerilee answered. “And to many more advances in the field of romantics!"