So what are we doing again?
Twilight Sparkle strolled into her crystal castle from outside. She was looking forward to a nice quiet day of reading and...
The young princess's thoughts were cut off as she spotted Pinkie Pie standing in the middle of the floor as quiet as could be and looking up at...something. Pinkie never sat still this long. Well, unless you count the time they made her watch paint dry, but everypony agreed never to bring that up again.
"Hi Pinkie," said Twilight. "What's up?"
Pinkie slowly turned her gaze to Twilight, a tear slowly forming in her eye. "I don't know," she cried.
"Pinkie?!" Twilight rushed to her friend's side, now very worried for the normally pink bundle of energy. "What's wrong?!"
Pinkie began to sob, "I don't kno...oo...ow!!"
Twilight planted herself in front of her friend, throwing her forelegs and wings around her, "Pinkie! Tell me. I can't do anything if I don't know what's wrong."
"But Twilight...that's just it," tears still poured from her face as she looked her in the eye. "What are we supposed to be doing?"
"What do you mean?" Twilight looked confused. "Was there something special happening today? Is it somepony's birthday? Special holiday coming up?" Twilight gave an exaggerated gasp, "did Princess Celestia give up cake and the icing apocalypse is upon us?!" Twilight attempted to insert some 'Pinkie' style humor, trying to get a smile from the party pony.
"No Twilight," said Pinkie while grabbing Twilight's head and staring deep into her eyes. "What are we...supposed...to...be...doing?"
"Pinkie?!" Twilight shouted as Pinkie began to shake her. "You're not making any sense?!"
"Hey girls," Rainbow Dash lazily flew in the same door that Twilight entered, a small yawn escaping her mouth. "What's everypony up to?"
As if a switch had been flipped in Pinkie's head, she immediately released Twilight and bolt over to Rainbow and tackled her in a hug.
"Dashie!" Pinkie started to cry again. "What are we doing?! If you know, you have to tell me!"
"Uh, Twilight?" Rainbow looked over to the alicorn in concern. "What's wrong with Pinkie?"
"I don't know," Twilight shook her head. "She was like that when I got here."
"What in tarnation is all the commotion about?!" Proclaimed Applejack as she entered the room, followed by Fluttershy and Rarity.
"Oh no," Pinkie looked like she had just seen a ghost as she slowly backed away. "It's starting. But...there's nothing to start." She began to zip back and forth as if looking for something, "No...nononono...this isn't good."
"Oh darling, whatever seems to be the matter?" Rarity looked more apprehensive than normal as Pinkie continued to panic over something.
"She does seem to be awfully worked up over something," Fluttershy observed.
Pinkie snapped her head to look back at them, "you girls just don't understand!" She shouted. "What...are...we...doing?"
"Pinkie?" Twilight cautiously walked up to her manic friend. "You're not making any sense...more so than usual."
Pinkie had been hyperventilating at this point, but something in Twilight's voice must have gotten through because she reached into her mane and pulled out a paper bag and began to inflate and deflate the bag. A few moments of this went on and they could all see Pinkie visibly calm down...well, as calm as Pinkie can be.
"Ok," said Pinkie in an eerily calm voice. "You know how most of the time we get together, there's some sort of event or disaster or friendship problem or anything of anything at all happening?"
The other ponies took a moment to mull over the words from their pink friend before one of them finally answered.
"Well," said Applejack. "Ah can't say it really happens every time, but yeah, usually we're together when somethin's goin down."
"Exactly," Pinkie pointed a hoof at AJ like they were on the cusp of solving a bit mystery. "Nothing like that has happened this time. We barely even have a setting!" She spun around with her hooves extended, gesturing to the rest of the room.
"This is just the map room, Pinkie," said Twilight, a slight feeling that she was going to regret asking. "What's wrong with it?"
"EVERYTHING!!!" Pinkie screamed. "And somepony or somecreature or some...I DON'T KNOW thinks this is funny!"
"Um..." Fluttershy said timidly. "I don't think it's very funny."
"You wouldn't!" Pinkie began to pace around the room, looking back and forth like she was looking for something. "But I'm on to them. I saw the comedy tag on the way in."
"The what?" Asked Rainbow, confused. "What's a tag?"
"The tags Dashie! The tags!" She rocketed up to the prismatic pegasus and began to tap one of her hooves on the flat of the other one. "Comedy. Random. Slice of life. Pinkie. Main 6." She began to stumble towards the chair with her cutiemark embossed into it by the big map in the room as soon as she had finished listing off...whatever it was she just listed off. "Why couldn't it at least be a slice of pie? Maybe then something would actually happen." She slumped into her chair as she finished.
"Darling," Rarity very...very hesitantly approached Pinkie in her seat. "Why is it a bad thing that nothing has happened?"
"Because nothing really exists for us without anything happening," Pinkie said lethargically. "I don't even know how or why we're all here." She curled up on her seat, shivering.
"Ah'm still barely followin any of this," Applejack said as she trotted up to the opposite side of Pinkie. "But ya'll makin it sound like the end of the world or somethin."
"The world has already ended," Pinkie sobbed.
"If the world has already ended, then how are we all here?" Asked Twilight.
"I DON'T KNOW!!" Shouted Pinkie. "That's what I've been telling all of you! I'm here. You're here. We're all here. Everypony's here. But what is here?! This world can't exist without a story!"
"Story?" Twilight questioned. "What story are you talking about? This is our lives. This isn't a story. They may be boring sometimes, but isn't that what makes life more interesting?"
"Oh really, Twilight," Pinkie said as she became strangely calm. "Not a story is it? Well this one isn't a story and I can prove it."
"Go ahead Pinkie," Twilight resettled on her hooves, ready to head the explanation. She had grown a little more resilient to Pinkie Pie's...Pinkie Pieedness...Uh...that isn't a word...but whatever. "How can you prove this is a story?"
"What were you doing before you came here?" She answered.
"I was..." Twilight was stunned into silence as she thought hard about the...thing she was doing before...What was she doing before?
The gears were turning in the rest of their friends heads as they all tried to answer Pinkie's question.
None of them could.
Rainbow was the first to snap, "AH!!! Too Much!!! I need to get out of here!" She bolted for the open door, only to faceplant on the open air of the doorway.
"Don't you see Dashie?" Said Pinkie as she stood up from her chair and stepped onto the table in front of her. "There is no out of here. Nothing. Nothing exists because something didn't decide what it is we're doing. We're just stuck like this...FOREVER!!!"
"AHHH!!!" Screamed Rainbow Dash as she tried to push her way out against nothing.
"EPPP!!!" Squeeked Fluttershy as she hid in a corner.
Rarity just simply fainted, despite no couch to catch her fall.
Applejack soon rushed over to try and escape along with Rainbow, a panicked look soon capturing her expression as she had no more luck than Rainbow trying to escape.
Twilight just stood there, her mind having checked out of what they thought of as reality. One of her eyes madly twitching.
"AHHH!!!" Pinkie shot up out of bed screaming.
She hunched over in her sweat drenched sheets. The cool feeling of them against her fur adding to the clammy feeling crawling up her spine.
She continued to breathe heavily, slowly steadying herself with every breath.
Ever so slowly she climbed out of bed, determined to find a shower, a meal, and as much sugar as she could get her hooves on. Ponies have been telling her for years to switch to decaf, maybe it was time she actually tried it.
Imagine. Pinkie dismissed as she left her bedroom. A Story where nothing happened.