Musings on Love

by wishcometrue

First published

Coco Pommel considers what it means to love, and to be loved in turn.

Coco Pommel considers what it means to love, and to be loved in turn.


Originally written for the Coco Pommel contest in Quills and Sofas.

Cover art by Mushroom.

What it Means

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Coco Pommel didn’t know how she got so lucky.

She sighed as she felt her lovers tenderly nuzzle her. When she had been younger, she had accepted the fact that her social anxiety would prevent her from ever finding somepony who loved her; from ever even being able to open her heart to another pony to let herself be loved. Yet here she was, sandwiched in between Rarity and Sassy Saddles, the two most amazing mares in the world.

“I love you two,” Coco said.

And it was true, she did love them. She loved them more than anything else in the world. Yet those simple words felt flimsy and cheap, unable to properly express the true depths of Coco’s feelings.

Rarity was so kind and brilliant, always pushing Coco to not only dream bigger, but to pursue those dreams as well; to be better. Sometimes this was accomplished directly, as with the opportunity Rarity gave her after the whole Suri Polomare fiasco, which not only opened up more doors for the mare than she ever would have thought possible, but also honestly saved her life. Other times it was indirect, and Coco looked at Rarity as the angel she was, this radiant beam of light and warmth in a world that often seemed dark and cold and terrifying, and how could Coco not be filled with the desire to fly in pursuit of her, to become somepony who could offer even a fraction of that same impact on the world?

When Coco had received that first love letter over a year ago now, she assumed it had been a mistake. It was addressed poetically and subtly, so there was no way—in her mind, at least—that it could have been from Rarity to her, and any evidence that it was was merely a coincidence. The second letter was addressed the same way, and although the heavy spritzing of Rarity’s preferred perfume did cause Coco to accept it was from Rarity, Coco still refused to believe it was for her. By the time Coco received the third letter, Rarity had thrown any attempts at subtlety out the window in a fit of frustration. Coco still remembered arriving at that cafe, dazed and out of breath, asking Rarity if she really had meant to send all of those letters to her.

The gentle and understanding smile Rarity gave her then still had the power to make her giddy to this day.

And Sassy… When Rarity had first come to Coco to tell her that she had developed feelings for another, Coco had felt a terror that was not eased no matter how much Rarity assured her that she still loved her as well. It felt as if the entire world was collapsing, that a black hole had opened up beneath her, that she was drowning and had no idea which way was up or down.

Logically, she knew Rarity did still love her; Rarity had made sure Coco knew she was polyamorous before they had started dating. Logically, she was perfectly okay with her marefriend dating another pony; it had been true when she considered this scenario hypothetically before, and it was still true now that it was real. Emotionally, however, she could not help but feel that she had done something wrong, that she had been a bad marefriend in some way. Loving someone is not a magical cure for the scars left by years of self-denigration, after all.

Coco had hated Sassy at first. She wasn’t proud of it, not even at the time, but it was the truth. When she spent time with her and Rarity together, she couldn’t understand what Rarity saw in her; what she offered to Rarity that Coco did not. Sassy was passionate about fashion, sure, but she wasn’t a designer, and she certainly had no practical knowledge of sewing. She came across as vapid and rude when she would gossip; nothing like the enthralling storytelling Rarity so easily pulled off.

Once she spent time with Sassy alone, however, she understood.

Sassy was a touch rude, sure, but she was also classy and witty, as well as subtle in a way Rarity was simply incapable of being. Sassy’s depth went so far beyond that as well. Sassy was intelligent; the first time she had discussed business with her, Coco had been left in awe of Sassy’s knowledge. Her intelligence was not limited to professional matters either, and she was always able to help Coco find solutions to any problem she was facing. Sassy was gentle and caring as well, a safe harbor that Coco knew she could turn to in any storm, always there to guide her and hold her when the world became too much to bear. Sassy kept her grounded, helped Coco feel comfortable with being herself, flaws and all.

There was one time, several months ago, when Coco had committed herself to making too many costumes in too short a time. The intense, burning shame she felt made it impossible for her to go to Rarity, but she wasn't so foolish that she would completely avoid getting help. When Sassy had shown up at her apartment door for an afternoon tea Coco had embarrassingly forgotten about, Coco had thrown herself into her metamour's hooves and wept while she explained the situation. Sassy had gracefully taken the sudden change in plans in stride; she had comforted Coco whenever she needed to, while also taking care of any of Coco's chores or jobs that would have distracted her from completing the costumes.

While Rarity gave Coco the drive and ambition to take on the world, Sassy was always there to comfort her when Coco felt the world was pulling her apart at the seams.

Coco smiled; she still remembered the way Rarity’s face had lit up when she asked her for help penning a love letter to Sassy. And there was no way she could forget the surprised and smitten look on Sassy’s face when she delivered the letter to her personally—it wouldn’t do to leave any room open for misinterpretation, after all.

Coco giggled as she felt Sassy kiss the back of her neck, delicately and lovingly, the tender sensation making her feel lighter than air. She sighed as Rarity nuzzled her, the scent of Rarity’s perfume clouding her thoughts in a heady bliss.

“And we,” Rarity said.

“Love you.” Sassy finished.