> royal flatulence > by Estella Night > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > chapter 1 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Spike! Do you think Cadence is okay?" Twillight asked spike, she was really nervous. " I don't know" Spike answered. He was not that worried. Spike got a letter from princess Cadence. Where she asked him to come for a visit, a day before Twilight would come. Spike took his things and was leaving to the train. Cadence gave him tickets,A ticket to crystal empire. "If you are going with the train to Crystal empire, the train is leaving now!" said a pony at the station spike ran into the train. He could read 5 cartoons before the train stopped. He walked up to the castle. " Oooh Spike" said one of the gards. Spike smirked. Then he saw cadence, walking down the hallway "Hi cadence, whats up?" spike asked Cadence. " i just wanted to talk to about, the people here loves you. so we thought we could do something. so they could see you. What do you think?" Said cadence. *ggggrrrrrr* the sound came from cadence stomach. Spike could see that cadence looked a little nervous, so he ignored it. they walked in to the room. And they sat down. one of the worker came with tea for cadence. *gggggrrrrrrtttttttpppppffffffffff* Cadence farted " Excuse me, im so sorry. I didn't do it on p.." cadence was cut of by spike. " its okay i don't mind, but i didn't know princess could fart, i mean twillight do it all the time-". said spike "i mean yeah we do, but i only do it in front of my husband. Because he do. but she does?? I mean of course she does, but in front of you?" Cadence asked suprised. Cadence was always scared to fart in front of Twillight, she thinks that she would be super mad. But next time she would fart in front of her "Yeah she does, with NO shame" Spike answerd laughing. grrrr The sound came from Cadence stomach. " If you need to fart its okay, like i said i don't mind" said spike. "Uhm okay" Cadence let out a medium fart, it didn't really stinks. Spike laughed, and she laughed too. Cadence thought about something. Then she did it. She pinned spike down, and farted on him and then got of. She laughed nervously. "Hey" said Spike while coughing. "Sorry Spike" Said cadence nervous. " No no, it was just a joke, it was funny" Said Spike while laughing. " i know its weird, but do you wanna talk about farts?" Cadence asked spike, and she got this answer from spike:"Sure, go ahead." " Ehh, how do you think twillight would react if i farted in front of her?" "I think she would think its pretty funny" Spike answered Cadence question. " Thank spike" PPPPPffftttt Cadence let out a little bigger fart than before. Spike laughed and Cadence giggled a little. knock, knock someone knocked on the door. Spike said; " Come in". It was the two sisters. Luna and Celestia. "We heard Cadence fart" said luna. Cadence blushed a little " its okay , dear. It is totally normal. And we want to join" Continued Celestia. pppppprrrrrrrtt Luna let out a high pitched fart. They all laughed at Lunas fart. Then celestia said; " oh, come on. i can make a much bigger one" and theeen.... PPPPPPPPRrrrRRRTTTFFFF Celestia let out a huge fart. And it smelled worse than the other princess farts. They all laughed. Then a guard knocked on the door, an walked in. " Sorry for bothering you all princess, but the train princess twillight sparkle took. is her" said the guard and walked out again. (Twillights POV.) Twillight walked out of the train. She saw her brother. " Hi twilie" said Shinning amor, and hugged her. And then they walked to the castle. ppppprrfft Shinning amor let out a fart. "Exscuse me" he said. Twillight looked annoyed at him, but then laughed, they laughed together. They walked in the castle. "Its late so me and spike will go to bed" said Twillight. And then he put spike on her back. " How did it go today, spike?"Asked twllight. " It was good! But did you know- i mean of course you know, that they true have gas" answered spike while laughing. " what do you mean? Did they really pass gas, in front of you?"twillight was confused, she haven't heard the princesses fart before. And as a princess she don't fart ( on purpose) in front of other than spike. " wait, you didn't know?" asked spike. Twillight nodded, she looked sad, but tried to hide it . " wait decision you. You get mad or disgusted, when Rainbow dash farts on you or in front of you. And you are sad that cadence don't fart in front of you?" spike asked, he was confused and really didn't understand . " No, not in fact that she dont fart in front of me, but that she isn't comfortable enough around me to do it, understand?"She answered. Spike understood it, or kind of. He thinks that she overthinks too much." Maybe she didn't have to fart, when you are together?" said spike. Twillights eyes lights up until spike says; " Nah, i don't even believe my self" They came to the room they where gonna sleep in. Twillight where brushing her teeth when... knock, knock Cadence and shinning amor came in. " Hi twilie" said shinning amor. " we just wanted to say goodnight, twillight" said cadence. and she gave her a hug. " goodnight" answered twillight while she looked said. Shinning amor walked outof the room. and then Cadence asked; " is something wrong Dear?". "No"- twillight was cut of by cadence rumbling stomach. Twillight thought she was going to fart, but no. "sorry about that sweetie, my stomach is acting weird. We will talk later. goodnight" and then cadence also walked out. " Goodnight spike" . But spike was already asleep, he snored as always. She finds it kind of cute. Twillight lays on her bed. She pulled the duvet over her and fell asleep. She was so tired. And they dreamt sweet dreams. Maybe she would fart, next time *a couple of days later in the Crystal Empire twilight and Shining Amor is drinking tea together* “May i ask something? It May be kinda silly…” twilight asked her brother. “Of course sister” he Said chuckling. “Does cadence, Uhm you know… uh far- pass gas? I mean sure she does, But in front of you?” She asked her brother nervously. Shining Amor on the other hand laughed “oh YEAH she DOES” twilight look confused when he Said that. “Oh okay… just never heard her fart” she Said. “Of course not, who would wanna fart in front of you? I mean me, hehe” Her brother Said camly. Twilight scoffed and said “excuse me…? What do you mean with that?” Her brother chuckled “I’ve seen of you react when, hmm rainbow dash fart, you get kinda mad. And cadence also was there, that day. She is embarrassed by farting like me” twilight raises an eyebrow at that last statement, her brother saw it and continued explaining “not in front of you sis, but I don’t fart in front of a lot of people, same with cadence. Do you want her to fart?” He asked his little sister confused “no not exactly. I mean we are just pretty close, right?” He nods, and she continues “it’s just the fact, she’s not even comfortable with doing that in front of me” she explained to her brother “well do you fart in front of her?” He asked “No of course not!” She said. “Hm exactly, excuse me” then he leaves the room *twilights sitting in the room, in the castle where she just drank tea with her brother* “Maybe I should fart in front of her?” “No, she would think I’m gross” She said to herself, feeling hopeless. What should I do? She thought to herself *knock knock* “Yeah?” She said, wondering who it is. *Princess cadence walks in, and folds her wings back down* “Hey twilight! What’s up?” *The pastel pink princess asked her sister-in-law while she sat down in front of twilight* “Not much, what about yo-“ *she was cut off by a loud rumbling noise from the beautiful alicorn, twilight then look over at cadence. She could see, she was blushing* “Oh my- excuse me” she said while giggling nervously. “Don’t you worry cadence, are you hungry?” She asked her sweet sister-in-law. *she could see, that the pretty princess was not blushing as much as before* “No, I’m fine. Thank you twi” *she took a sip of her tea* Twilight then realized, that cadence must be gassy. (CADENCE POV) Cadence knew she was gassy, she could feel it build up, but after the look her sweet lilac princess friend gave her. She then chooses to hold it in. She remembers how disgusted twilight look at rainbow dash, one time in ponyville on a picnic, where the blue pegasus farted. Twilight, and rarity looked very grossed out. What if she would get mad at her too? The thought was scary, she then remembered what spike said. What should I do? *she looked over at twilight, she was reading a book* Maybe I should ask someone else? Someone I trust, that also knows twilight. I could ask celestia? Hm maybe they are not on farting terms , the same with Luna, I don’t think Luna have farted near twilight. Luna had only farted a few times in front of me. Actually she hasn’t farted in front of me, in ages. *she giggles on the inside, thinking about the few times she did.* Luna would always deny or act like nothing happend. She has that ego, and says she would never do such. Celestia could probably tell you otherwise. Cadence herself, sometimes farted near the two sisters. Only a few times, ages ago. Luna gives a Disgusted look. Celestial giggles a tiny bit. I could ask her friends? No, that would be too weird. What would they think, of a princess asking about farts? She got it now. of course! I can just ask my lovely husband, shining Amor! Since it was twilights brother they must be on farting terms, or else there was no hope for the sister-in-laws to be that. She knew how much her husband farted, so he must’ve farted in front of his sister. “Twilight dear, do you mind if I just send an important letter?” *twilight looked up at cadence* “Sure, go ahead” *twilight went back to reading* *cadence began writing on a paper* “Dear my sweet shining amor. I’m sitting, drinking tea with your sister. And I felt the need to fart. I don’t know if I should just hold it? Because what would she think of me? Do you fart in front of her? Do she do that? And please tell me the reactions! -Love, your cadence. *she sends the letter, takes a sip of her tea. She then instantly gets a reply from her husband* Hey my love<3 As to, if I fart in front of her? Yeah I do. If I’m honest, most of the time to annoy her, she knows I do it to tease her. That’s why she looks annoyed. (Especially when I sometimes fart in her face. Ooops) but then quickly she chuckles a bit. She only looks annoyed jokingly. So don’t be worried. As to if she farts in front of me? Yeah. Not as much as me. But it happens. More when she was just a unicorn. But she does fart now that she is an alicorn. Hmm her reacting…? “Oh I’m so sorry excuse me for that” but mostly she chuckles “excuse me, bet you didn’t see that coming” But honestly love. You should just let it all out. You’re close with her right? She would not judge you. Don’t be scared. Update me later - kisses, your husband *cadence giggled when reading some parts of the letter* “Maybe I should just fart…? Yeah I’ll do it” she thought to her self. (TWILIGHTS POV) *she was reading her book, she flipped the page when she heard….* *pftttttttrrrrrggrrrrr* *she slowly looked over at cadence* “Did you just fart?” (Meanwhile CADENCE POV) *she looked at twilight, she was reading a book. She felt a fart building up. She then…* *pftttttttrrrrrggrrrrr* She couldn’t believe it. She just farted in front of her sister-in-law. She felt her cheeks heating up, to a red/pinkish color. *she saw twilight slowly looking at her, she heard her asking:* “Did you just fart?” “Was she mad?” “Oh No, am i now gross in her eyes?” She tought to herself. “Yes, excuse me.” *she heard twilight giggling, she Then giggled a little bit herself* (TWILIGHTS POV:) *after she giggled a bit, she looks at cadence* “I didn’t know you did such” she Said. * But instantly regret it. She Saw cadence blushing and looking down. She didn’t mean to offence cadence. She was just joking* “Hey cadence, i didn’t mean it like that-” *cadence looks up at twilight and listen to What she says* “- i was just suprised. Every one farts, its okay! Im just glad you’re confortable doing such around me” *cadence smiled at twilight* Cadence was relieved. She was scared that twilight would judge her, Thank god it wasn’t like that Then cadence Said “hehe Thank you twilight” “No problem” she answered. (CADENCE POV) “I should write to shiny” she thought. hey love! I just farted in front of her. She just looked up from her book and Said “did you just fart?” I blushed But Said yes. Then she Said “i didn’t know you did such”…. But Then she explained, she didn’t mean it in a bad Way. She also Said it was No problem that i farted -live cadence *she instantly Got a reply* hey cady<3 That was brave of you. Im Proud. You scared me a bit! I tought she was mad, when you wrote it that Way. Im glad she didn’t have a problem. I Bet she Will fart near you soon;)) - Shining Amor *cadence giggled while Reading it, she started to write back* “Thanks for the help Shining am-“ *she stopped writing as she was interupted by a fart from twilight* *pffftttttttttttttt* It was longer than cadence. She was suprised at the fart’s length But also, seeing twilight farting! She could never imagine “Haha sorryyy! That was me! Oooos” twilight Said while giggling. Cadence giggled too. She was suprised at seeing How easy going twily, was when she farted for the first time. > The crystal bedroom > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- *few hours later. Cadence and Shining Amor are in the bedroom, laying in bed. Shining Amor uses his wife’s rear end as pillow* “Tell me what happend cady” *cadence looks down at her husband, laying with his face on her butt* “Hmm i wrote it to you.” She answered “Fair. Yeah, But did she fart?” He asked while chuckling a bit “Yep, she was Reading, when is she not reading a book? Anyways. Then she just-“ She was then cut off, by her own fart. grrrrrrpffffft She just farted in his face. She wanted to try it, it was funny! (SHINING AMORS POV:) He felt the fart on his face. It was warm, loud, but in a low pitched way. *she laughs* “Did you just fart directly onto my face? That’s gross!” He said He gagged, even tho the smell wasn’t even that bad. Just the thought of it. His beautiful wife, the ruler of crystal empire, the pretty alicorn, the well behaved perfect princess, just farted on his face. “Ah c’mon! It’s not even that bad! Stop acting like you don’t fart on me, daily!” Answered his wife “I mean yeah, but it’s just different. I usually find your farts funny. But isn’t it gross, childish, immature and disgusting to fart right on your husband’s nose?!” He asked while sitting up (CADENCE POV) She quickly sat up too, looking down while blushing. She was embarrassed. She would always fart, he would always laugh, or sometimes even call it cute! He loves my butt. But was that too much? She was overthinking a lot, so she wasn’t paying attention to her surroundings. She felt a hoove pushing her face, into her husbands ass. pffft Shining armor let out a silent But deadly fart, into his wife’s nose. Just for revenge of course. He started to laugh, laugh, and laugh. She pushed him away “Oh so YOU Can fart on me? And Phew man What did you eat?” Shining Amor laughed “you didn’t Think i was serious right? And i ate the same as you, somehow my farts are just worse. Im lucky to not have weak farts” *Cadence raised an eyebrow at the ladt satement* “My farts are weak? Huh? Just because mines not almost as bad as lunas! Like yours are!” *Cadence replied while smirking. She Then quickly puts her hoof over her mouth.* She didn’t mean to say the part about Luna. Anyways she did, so No going back. (SHINING AMORS POV:) What did she just say? He thought to himself. Princess Luna? Fart? I mean he obviously knew everypony farts, but princess luna, is the princess, who is the most uptight about that stuff. Well that’s how it feels. She never talks about such, she sometimes can have a big ego. The only royalty he had ever heard fart, was his sister, his wife, and of course himself. Well to be honest, his sister acts like she never farts. Well he know for sure she does, the same with his wife. But sometimes even with himself. “What did you just say about Princess Luna?” He asked his wife confused, he was in fact very confused. “Uh nothing” his wife replied. “Did you just compare my perfect farts-“ *cadence scoffed at that* “- to princess luna?” He asked her again. (CADENCE POV:) “No. Just forget it” she Said. She knew Luna would be mad if she found out, that i talked to Shining Amor about her like that.