> Changeling's Best Friend > by 23 KM To Nerdiness > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > "Hello there..." > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Mmm, a chocolate cake, just for me?" "Come on......just take a bite, you gluttonous tyrant." Revenge is a messy thing. You'd be surprised how far somepony would go just to feel the stinging satisfaction of getting that special somepony a taste of their own medicine. Some would ignore and try to move on from those who wronged them. Some would give in and spend days, weeks, nay months concocting their devious plots on their path for "justice". And some would intensely observe the princess of Equestria and witness her from the kitchen window devouring a chocolate cake that they made completely out of dirt and mud just for funsies. As for Chrysalis in this case... "BLEH!" "HA! How you like that, Sunbutt!" It was definitely the latter. Celestia gags as the cunning changeling queen revels in her dirty deed, mocking the alicorn's folly. "Heavens, I didn't know you still soil yourself, Tia!" "Guards!" Celestia coughs harshly. "Uh oh." Chrysalis flips into a majestic dive off the wall, soaring down along the castle moat. A swarm of angry unicorn guards flood out of the main gate, horns lit as she lands upon the drawbridge. "Muzzle squad, GO!" a stallion among the group barks. Cavalry charging head-on, bug horse let's out a hateful hiss and rolls a foggy bottle toward their heavy onslaught, shattering on impact and engulfing them all in a bombastic blue smoke. "!ekoj nosiop gniyrrac s'ehS !on hO" a mare wheezes, limping from the fog. "AFTER HER!" a tiny guard squeaks. Doped and joked, Celestia's finest dust themselves off as Chrysalis parkours over the plethora of railings surrounding the eyesore of a kingdom garden. Ponies gasp and watch in terror over the changeling's grand escape. More guards pop in from every street, collectively scattering about in hopes of cornering her. Chrysalis takes a sharp detour through the Canterlot shopping area, purposefully shoving aside the fancy displays and snooty equines who immediately label her recklessness in the "unorthodox" category. "Reform yourself, you witch!" a unicorn mare huffs. Chrysalis screeches to a halt and towers over the shaken pony, glaring coldly. "Boo." she utters, plucking the unicorn's bulky diamond necklace and small satchel from around her neck as she faints. As she turns, a buff stallion blocks her path. "Ah gah yah naw!" he mumbles. "Come again?" A throbbing, deformed, green and polka-dotted tongue hangs free out the guard's quivering mouth, earning a sly snicker from the changeling. She swings her satchel against his temple, sending him crashing toward the ground, biting down on his blobby tongue screaming. "Joke on that." Chrysalis snorts. Among the clutter surrounding her, she spots an object of interest. "Battle Strategies, huh?" she hums, reading an extravagant cover of a book. "Don't mind if I do." She swipes thing from the mess and stuffs it in the satchel, making her way past the outskirts of the kingdom. Evening approaches. The marehunt for Chryssy continues through the gloomy depths of the Everfree Forest under the setting sun. Unicorn guards search high and low with glowing magic across the dim wood, stumbling across an open space surrounded by towering trees. Resting against one, Chrysalis calmly examines her stolen diamond studded goods, squeezing a few large chunks out and rubbing them together over a small pile of sharp twigs while the herd close in. "Chrysalis," a stallion grunts, raising a spear in his magic. "You're under arrest." "For what?" she shrugs, striking the glamorous rocks further. "I'm just trying to set up camp for myself." A spark pops out from the diamonds, starting a fire on the twigs. "Just put your hooves up and come quietly." Setting the diamonds aside, Chrysalis stares up at the stern guard with a blank stare over her growing flame. "I only do what other queens do," she utters, lifting a burning twig. "I rule." Chrysalis chucks the stick, piercing the guard's leg and bringing him to his knees before knocking him out cold with a swift punch to the jaw, prompting the others to charge. Chryssy leaps in, slinging fiery twigs into a mare's side and bops another mare's temple with a diamond. In the corner of her eye, the changeling grins as a pair of stallions creeping closer light up their horns. "Why must you all be such a thorn in my side?" she sighs, bumping a hoof against a tree. A wide tattered bush tumbles upon a trio of guards, ensnaring them in long tough strands of thorny vines protruding from within. "Pity," Chrysalis utters, flipping a switch. "You all would've made such wonderful slaves." Her thorn trap cuts at the stallions' skins as a contraption flings them off into the horizon. "Happy travels, and buck you very much!" she bows with a wicked chuckle. The few scattered guards look on in horror as the vengeful queen rises on her hind legs with a sturdy shovel in her hooves. "You ponies love songs, right?" she says in an innocent tone, twirling her tool. "I poke your RIGHT eye in (AHH!), I knock your FRONT teeth out! (AUGH!) I break your bloody snout, and you're wailing all about! (WAHHHH!) You do the changeling mangling and you turn yourself around (I DON'T LIKE THIS SONG!) As I knock you all the buck OUT!" Bones fracture, teeth fly, bruises form, bug horse savored every punch, every crunch, and every plea amongst her pursuers. Her twisted games became too cray cray for the guards, and they limp away as fast as equinely possible, to her devious delight. "Yes!" she cheers, piercing the ground with the shovel. "Evade capture without using magic, achievement complete!" A triumphant Chrysalis lights up her horn and carves a huge checkmark across a round boulder with mud smearing an image of a crossed out horn. Her daily acts of prankism done, she retires to a square shaped pile of hay and pulls her strategy book from the satchel. "Okay, Battle Strategies," she reads. "Give me your......BLOCKCRAFT EDITION?!?!" Chrysalis throws the book against a tree and stomps the ground, breathing intensely. If veins could express, it would read: "I AM PEEVED." "Figures," she grunts. "Ponies are too soft and safe to indulge in the thrilling sensations of WAR! If I had the right strategy, the fools won't know what hit-" THUMP! Something bumps into the changeling's leg. THUMP! A small mound rustling underneath her bed's quilt continues to run into her hole-y legs. "Who goes there?" she hisses, peering under the cloth. "Show yourself!" She flips over the sheet until- "Ruff!" A happy brown and white puppy dog pounces onto the changeling's face, licking her face as she falls on her back in surprise. "A...puppy?!" "Ruff!" the fur baby yips happily, wagging his tail in excitement. "How'd you get here?" Chrysalis snorts, levitating the pup to her level. "Who sent you?!" The puppy lightly licks the tip of the changeling's nose, panting. "Ew, stop that! Leave, now." Chrysalis plops the creature on the soft grass, leaves him behind and squirms about in her bed. The pup shakes the dirt off his smol body before galloping after her. "Ruff!" he barks. "Didn't I say-" She stops. Her nose twitches and sniffs the air, a sneaky grin forming across her face. "Come forth......little guy." she coos, licking her lips as the puppy waddles toward her, hopping up against her towering legs. Chrysalis lifts the chipper critter up as her thick saliva oozes down her chin. "Yes, you're a good boy. Yesssssssssssss..." The super-sized insect unhinges her jaw and let's her slimy tongue dangling before the oblivious canine, emitting a low hiss. "Give me all of your love, little- GAH!" Chrysalis' love taking is interrupted by a loving lick on the lips. "Ugh, how dare you, my mouth was open!" she spits, wiping her face. "You putrid little grub!" "Ruff, rrruff!" the little one jumps happily. "What, you like that? Grub?" "Ruff!" "Well, GO AWAY, GRUB!" She slides the animal far from her bed and lays done, her back turned. As she rests, she spots the little nuisance staring deep into her eyes. "..." "..." She turns him around, away from his line of vision. Grub immediately turns back to her panting. "Stop looking at me like that!" "Ruff!" Grub chimes, pouncing on her belly. "No, down, dumb dog." Chrysalis scoots Grub off her onto the ground. "Begone!" "Ruff!" "What, wanna stay?" "Ruff!" "Tough titty!" Grub scurries over and tugs on Chrysalis' tail, letting out a little whimper. "NO, your puppy pouts will not sway me, not today." "Ruff!" "Not even the eyes, nuh-uh." "Mmmmmmm..." Grub whines, tugging erratically. The pup ups the canine charm to 11, expanding his glistening eyes and cutely wiggling his tongue. "That's impossible! I.....ugh, fine!" Grub's ears perk up as the irritated queen tosses a raggedy towel over him, the little creature happily curling up in the cloth. "Just be annoying over there," she sighs, finally getting comfy. "One night, then you leave. "Ruff!" "I refuse to be your bed." > Grub! > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Morning arrives, shining a moderately warm light upon the dreary Everfree. The crows awaken to gloom up the forest, the owls return to their rotting hollow trees after a night of rodent ravaging and the unidentified crowd of glowing evil eyes looming about fade out and await for night to fall again. In her mildly comfortable hay bed, Chrysalis twists and turns around, stretching her limbs. As she awakens from her sound slumber, her canine companion wiggles up atop her chest, lightly licking her chin. "Mmm, morning, Grub." she yawns, nuzzling her head against his soft brown fur and earning another warm love lick on the cheek. The queen's eyes shoot open. "GRUB!" Chrysalis sits up and drops the silly pooch at the edge of the bed, frowning down at him. "I said stay on the towel, you ignorant creature!" she huffs with a hateful glare. "COCK-A-DOODLE DOO!" a rooster squawks nearby. "COCK-A-DOODLE DOO! COCK-A-DOO- OWW!!!" Red feathers rain and flutter down from the trees, Chrysalis' horn is smoking at the tip. "What is a rooster even doing this far in the Everfree?" "Ruff!" Grub yips gleefully. "Go. AWAY. GRUB! Go jump in a ditch, or something!" "Ruff!" Grub dashes off and disappears in the trees, the rustling plants slowly resting in silence. "Huh," Chrysalis ponders. "That was simple. A little too simple but, nevertheless, I'll never forget you, Grub. But I'll try!" Chrysalis grabs a burlap sack beside the bed and searches through its contents. Inside was a putrid assortment of half eaten produce, stale desserts, unidentified crumbs and expired jars of food. To her chagrin, however, there wasn't much to salvage, save for a slightly stale slice of toast and a jar of jelly that expired a week ago. "Oh, joy..." she groans, having to settle with jelly toast. Chrysalis takes the two items aside and opens the jar. Just then, a stick pops into view, offering itself to the queen. "Ah, thank you there." she sighs, taking the piece of wood in her magic and uses it to spread the jelly thoroughly on the slice. Then, it finally clicks. "Ughhh, you just don't know when to stop, do you?" "Rrruff!" Grub nods. "I said ditch, not fetch!" she growls, throwing the stick away. "How could you possibly mix that up?!" The queen rolls her eyes and goes to sit by a wide stump to eat while the playful pup chases after the stick once more. Soon, Grub hops on his hind legs leaning against her makeshift dining room table, drool dripping from his tiny tongue. "Lick and smack all you wish, you're not getting a crumb of my not so toasty toast." she says, barely making eye contact as she greedily devours her breakfast. Grub's li'l tummy rumbles, forcing a sad whimper from him. "Don't look at me, you decided to follow me out here. Don't you have an owner out there looking for something?" The confused pup tilts his head. "Assuming no. What do all you pets even have to offer? You make......tofu, or something?" Grub twists his body and nibbles his bottom. "Noted. But still, why me? Don't you know who I AM?" "Mmm?" "I'm Queen Chrysalis. You know, big scary devourer of love? Queen of Carnage? Hmm, I can do this." The changeling morphs her tongue into a spiky tentacle, roaring over the curious critter and stomping her spider-like legs. "Nothing?" Grub brushes up against her legs affectionately and rolls over on his back awaiting rubbies. Chrysalis slides away from the silly thing, sulking over to her bed. "I am not rubbing you." she shakes her head coldly. Peeking under her pillow, she pulls out a pony's fashion magazine filled to the brim with flashy, yet impractical, outfits and hairstyles. "Okay, mix and match time." she whispers to herself. Closing her eyes, Chrysalis flips through the pages, pausing on one featuring a pale lime green-coated unicorn mare. "One down..." she utters, viewing the page and blindly flipping further as her intimidating physique morphs into a smaller, gentler appearance. There, she stops and spots another pony model with a long, wavy tan-brown mane. "And there's that. Now, what criminally cutesy cutie mark should go with it?" After a good amount of time pondering, a proud grin forms on the changed changeling's face as an image of a lovely ladybug appears on her flank. "Ruff!" Grub yips, wagging his tail. "I have achieved perfection!" Vile, yet full of style, the sneaky queen makes her diabolical quest for sustenance through the overly glamorous areas of Canterlot's food district. While strolling past all the three-hoof rated restaurants, Grub pokes his sniffing nose out from the changeling's hoofbag. "Nope, remember the deal," Chrysalis whispers, squeezing him back into the bag. "I get you dog food, you stay in the purse!" "Hmmmmm..." Grub whines. "Quit your whining, I know my ways around this town. I'll just duck through those atrocious alleyways, in and out, nothing to it." Chrysalis stumbles upon a large grocery shop and wanders inside. Her breath is suddenly taken away from the sight of the store's massive, various assortment of fresh goods. "Have you ever seen anything more amazing in your life?" she says short of breath. "O-Other than yours truly, of course. "Mmmm." Grub sighs. "Okay, let's see," she mutters to herself, grabbing a cart and examining the aisles. "Oatmeal raisin, guilty pleasure. Spinich, does not make you instantly powerful, so pass. Jam, thank you. White chocolate Twix-y, nah. Apples......buck no." "Rrrrr..." "Oh, dog food. Of course." Chrysalis takes a detour through the stuffed animals aisle for the pet care section, the thumping of a wagging tail inside her purse said it all. She tops her mountain of savory snacks and treats with a bulky bag of dog food, to Grub's puppy pleasure. "We did good, Grub, haven't we?" Chryssy nods. "Ruff!" Grub chimes. Sneaking past the oblivious cashiers, the two thieves slink through the gardening section with their loot toward the other exit undetected. Outside, the changed changeling heads for the nearest alley when- "You there!" Chrysalis freezes as a tall stallion guard approaches from behind her, staring her down. "G-Good morning to you, sir." she gulps, beads of sweat sliding down her cheek. "May I assist you with anything?" "Who are you?" he asks with a suspicious frown. "I'm, uh...Chrys...tal? Wisp?" "Well then, 'Crystal Wisp', you do realize you have to pay for all that, right?" "I-I was going to, I just forgot my...my..." "Ruff! Grrrrrrr..." Grub barks angrily, popping his head back out her purse, baring his nubby teeth. "Awwww, look at you," the guard cooed, rubbing the pup's tender head as Grub furiously nibbles on his hoof. "Aren't you just the most precious thi-" Caught redhoofed, "Chrystal" panics and bashes the stallion down on the noggin with a bag of frozen hay bacon. Kneeling down, a sinister green aura swirls from her horn and around the pony's bruised head. "Forget..." she whispers, wiping the knocked out guard's memory. "Pffffft!" Grub sticks his tongue out. "Nopony saw nothing." "Ruff?" "Nopony saw nothing!" Grub hops into the mountain of food as Chrysalis quickly takes off down the nearest alleyway with the heavy grocery cart. > Bath > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Oh, petty theft, how you darken my soul. We cleaned all those stuck up fools. Food, pillows, blankets, a......chew toy?" "Ruff!" "You sneaky little gremlin..." After some well needed "shopping", the sneaky queen and her fellow fuzzy felon march through the dreary Everfree with their mountain of stolen goods rocking around in the undersized grocery cart. Once at her secret spot, Chrysalis piles all the goods in the center of her secluded space, prepping and organizing the spoils. "Okay," she mutters. "If I plan this all just right, I have enough to last weeks, maybe months." "Mmmmm..." Grub whines, his grumbling tummy grabbing her attention. "Oh, right. Your reward." Chrysalis pops a small hole in the chunky bag of dog chow and pours a flat pile onto a napkin, it's strong doggy scent luring the pup over. "There, satisfied?" Grub happily gobbles down on his mutt meal, loud crunch after loud crunch, wagging his tail in delight. "Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go wash." Rummaging through the stolen goods with her magic, the changeling selects a fragrant set of towels, soaps and shampoos and steps past the chomping pooch toward a moderately faded path deeper into the forest. A minute-long stroll forward leads Chrysalis to a calm, serene, crystal clean lake waving underneath the colossal shadow of a mighty waterfall. The misty breeze spreading from the cascading water gently blows through her mane as she walks along the lake, setting her towels down near the edge. Anticipating the relaxation to come, Chrysalis dips a hoof in the cool pool before delicately descending in the shallow waters with a low, satisfied sigh, leaving her head surface level. As she feels her bath rush through her leg holes, her moment of tranquility crumbles, for a tiny twig bounces off her forehead. "A little privacy would be appreciated." she hums, using her horn to lather up her dark skin with a bar of soap. "I deserve this, and I wish to enjoy my queen time in solitude, thank you very much." The queen frowns upon finding the troublesome critter already resting atop her damp hair, nibbling on her little crown. "Alright, fun's over." she sighs, shaking the pup into the soapy side of the water. Grub immediately doggy paddles to the surface up to the aloof changeling. "Ruff!" he yips, flopping and bumping into her neck. "Ugh, wet dog smell. Away with you." "Ruff!" "Bathe you? Of course, let me have one of my servants help you with that- OH, WAIT." "Bark!" "Grrr, fine. But only to get rid of that awful odor." "Yip!" The silly puppy curls up against Chrysalis' chest as she lathers him up with a bottle of lavender-scented shampoo. "Honestly, you don't seem to be a...complete waste of flesh. You might be of some use to me, for your gift of cuteness may improve my fiendish endeavors tenfold." "Ruff?" "Sure, I suppose I won't try to siphon your love, for now. You keep licking me before I could even try anyways." "Ruff!" Engulfed in a cloud of soapy foam, Grub playfully chomps down on a stray bubble and gags. "Hmm," Chryssy hums in amusement, scrubbing his soft, floofy head. "Not everything is edible, little one." Fleas drop like flies one by one down from Grub's drenched face fur to his body underneath the sudsy layers. "Goodness, you're a filthy runt, aren't you?" "Pffft!" "Bubbles can't change their taste, you're wasting your time." "Mmph..." "I prefer to use the lavender scents myself, honestly. I noticed Moonbutt put these flowers out around the castle at night. I'm not a flower lover, but I will admit they do make things more...cozy, if you will. Really relieves the stress of abandoning plans for world domination. Plus, it's an excellent hair conditioner. But you speak of this to nopony, got it?" Grub wiggles his head, shaking the dripping water off his floppy ears. "I'll take that as a fearful shake." "Bark!" "Now, dry off while I finish." Chrysalis levitates the wet pup out of the lake and lightly swaddles him in one of her small towels, setting him aside near the others along with her crown. As Grub fumbles out of his towel and scrubs his body across it, the tired queen soaks and coats her thick mane in lavender shampoo, foaming it thoroughly through with a content hum. Cleaned and relaxed, she wades toward the waterfall and leans back to rinse out. Chrysalis wraps another towel around her hair as she emerges from the cool pool. "Come along, Grub." she sighs, gathering her things. "Yip!" Later that evening, Chrysalis organizes her stolen loot and rearranges her rustic decor, covering her hay bed with a thick and comfortable blanket and tending to where to put the food. All the while, Grub watches from afar, playfully nibbling on a bone-shaped chew toy. "Okay, it's settled," she nods. "Hay bacon, toast and maybe some dark chocolate to snack on in the morning." "Bark!" Grub adds. "And some kibble on the side too, I suppose." Soon, a light yawn escapes the exhausted changeling's fang-filled mouth. "Mmm, alright. Time for bed." Grub drops his chew toy and gallops past her, pouncing onto her comfy bed. "Nuh uh, you were an adequate help with my activities today, but don't get cocky. Here." Chrysalis digs into the stuffed cart and pulls out a fluffy pillow, setting it down on the ground beside the edge of the bed as the pup sinks into its fluffy center. "You've been rather tolerable for the most part today. I've been pondering..." Grub sits up, staring and panting at her with a grateful smile. "Perhaps, I should recruit you. How would you like to be an official soldier for the new unreformed changeling empire?" "Yip!" "Excellent! For your actions today, I shall hereby dub thee..." Chrysalis tears a page out of from the BlockCraft book, folds it into a pointy origami hat and plops the thing upon the pup's itty bitty cranium. "Private pup!" "Ruff! Ruff!" Grub barks proudly, holding his head up. "One day, you'll prove your worth and serve your queen well!" Grub bounces on his hind legs, mindlessly swiping at a butterfly fluttering by and fumbling down onto his back with a silly pout. "That'll do, Grub. That'll do." > Training > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Now, we are going to try this again." "Bark!" "Well, the more you mess up, the longer we'll be here, now go again." "Mmmm..." "Shake." Grub lifts his smol right paw, resting it atop Chrysalis' cheeseleg. "Good," she nods, putting his arm back down. "Other paw." Grub lifts his right paw again curiously. "No, use the other paw." Grub sits there for a moment, tilting his head before lifting his right paw up once again. "No, the OTHER. PAW." "..." "..." Grub lifts his left paw up. "Thank you!" the changeling huffs, shaking the pup's fluffy paw. "Now, this next test is in defensive maneuvers and will get a little intense. Do you wish to continue?" "Yip!" Grub barks, wagging his little bottom in the air. "Very well then.....EVADE!" The energetic critter playfully rolls over to the side as Chrysalis flings a dagger that pierces the dirt, missing the funny furball. "Stay on your paws, keep moving!" Knives and stones come hurling forth, chasing after the rolling ruffer. After evading in a complete circle around the changeling, Grub sits in front of her excitedly. "Impressive. Now, jab!" Grub stands and staggers on his hind legs and weakly slaps his soft paws against the queen's hard hoof. "Excellent, remember to taunt your enemies!" "Ruff! Rrrruff! Ruhrurh..." "Ouch, and that hurt my feelings. Good work, soldier." Chrysalis dangles a bone biscuit in her magic and delicately rests it upon Grub's sniffing nose, gaining his full attention. "Mmmm..." he whines. "Stand your ground, Grub. Learn to resist." The poor pup's face twitches under the treat's alluring aroma, his heavy pants of exhaustion fill the air. "Hold it steady. Hold it......NOW!" Grub flips the biscuit off his nose and crunches it to bits. "Nice! You've shown great speed and discipline today, Grub. Strength needs work, but you'll grow into it." "Ruff!" "I found this Twilight doll during our little escapade yesterday," Chrysalis states, tossing a button-eyed ragdoll of the adorkable egghead before the curious doggie. "Practice your bite on that while you're at it. Put those chompers to good use." In attack mode, Grub pounces on the toy and roughly slams it against the ground with his nubby teeth, moving all of its stuffing to the doll's backside and amusing bug horse. "You're right, she has packed the pounds there lately." she chuckles, sitting down beside the playing pup. "Bark!" Chrysalis smirks. "Heh......good boy." > Gossip Gals > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Grrrrrr..." "Don't you 'grrr' me, little one. This is only temporary." "Mmmm..." "I know you don't like the leash tied around your neck, but I didn't nab a collar during our shopping. We'll get you one while we're out." "ACK!" That sunny afternoon, Chrysalis preps herself and her cuddly accomplice for another day of trivial thievery. Checking for every detail upon her in front of a shiny definitely stolen mirror, the disguised changeling finally corrects the form of her alter ego. "Ha ha!" she laughs mischievously. "The classic form!" With an uncomfortable Grub hooked up, Chrysalis stands proud upon completing her full "Chrystal" disguise. "Mmmmm..." Grub whimpers, shaking the leash off. "Quit your whining." Chrystal huffs. "You'd rather get in the purse instead?" The tired pup quickly darts for the purse, tipping it over on the ground as he squeezes his way inside the thing, leaving the pony now accessorized with a pupper in a purse. "Fine, you snug?" she asks. "Bark!" Chrysalis grabs the tattered remains of his Twilight plushie and drops it in the purse atop the pup's panting snout. With a happy bark, Grub gnaws on the damp toy's neck, dragging it deep within the large purse and wiggling around. "Silly little killer," Chrystal chuckles to herself. "Be sure to go for the jugular, always go for the jugular." Popping her neck, the scheming "pony" looks out over the horizon, ready to seize the day. And strike it hard. 😈 "Remember, stay in the bag and look cute, got it? You will be rewarded with bone biscuits." "Ruff!" "Good boy." Checking out the luxurious streets of Canterlot, the peculiar partners of crime remain calm and scan the area for potential loot spots. "So many selections to choose from," she ponders. "What do you say, Grub?" "Yip!" "The gardening store? Why?" "Rrrruff! Ruff ruff!" "I don't give a buck what you do, but there is no way I'm getting gardening supplies to fulfill your nasty mud wallowing agenda. I will NOT tolerate a filthy mutt." "Bark!" "We must stay stay focused, get what we need, in and out. Don't ever interact with anypony unless it's gratuitously violent, got it?" "Ruff." Grub utters. "I heard Princess Luna has a pet POSSUM," a mare's voice catches Chryssy's attention. "Isn't that just sad?" Looking back, the curious changeling spots three colorful mares chilling at a quaint little cafe happily sharing rumors and gossiping around. Yummy, yummy gossip. "Mmm, today just got interesting..." she hums. "Ruff!" "Quiet, you. Back in the purse, mama's gotta mingle!" Chrystal pokes Grub back in the bag and trots toward the group. "Might as well have a large virus as a pet while you're at it." one of them scoffs. "I know that's right," Chrystal chuckles. "Moonbutt's still a tad out of touch with reality, am I right?" "May we help you?" one of them sighs dismissively. "I couldn't help but hear some glorious gossip and felt intrigued." "Only those who knows what's in the know sit here, ya know?" another mare states. "I KNOW things, too. Ever heard about how somepony tricked Celestia into eating a dirt cake the other day?" "Yeah, only the gossip-iest gossipers would know that. How did you find out?" "Twas my own special recipe, of course." "Bring. That flank. Here, girl!" The giddy gals scoot to the side as Chrystal takes a seat beside them, setting her glimmy glammy purse in her lap. "Wow, you are vicious!" one of the mares states in awe. "I get that a lot." Chrystal shrugs playfully. "I'm Gabby," the mare greets with a wink. "And these are my gal pals, Chit Chat, and Grapevine. "Chrystal Wisp." Chryssy nods. "Ruff!" Grub yips, popping his happy face out of the purse. "And this slobbery little monster is Grub." "O.M.C!" Chit Chat gasps. "He is, like, so adorbs!" "Ruff!" "Grub says thank you." Chrystal utters. "Purse pets," Gabby nods, impressed. "Quite the fashionable one, I see, unlike that 'Fluttershee' mare that pops up here every other festival and all." "Right, can you believe she has tea parties with animals?" Chit Chat exclaims. "Now THESE are my kind of ponies..." Chrystal thinks. "I heard Fancy Pants uses fake silver for his monocle, I'm so done." "Ooh, want to hear a juicy one?" Chrystal giggles. "Spill, spill now." the three chime aggressively in unison. Chrystal waves a hoof in, leaning the curious gals into a huddle. "You didn't hear it from me," she whispers. "But Shining Armor reads Your Smol Donkey comics in his spare time." "OMC, are you kidding?" one mare cackles. "That is priceless!" "My, my, how'd you ever find that juicy of a melon?" "Oh, I've......been around the Crystal Empire a few times," Chrystal shrugs sheepishly. "I'm a photographer, I was around during his wedding planning with Princess Can't Dance- oop, sorry, Cadance..." The trio erupt into a barrage of "Ooh's" and "Ahh's" at the sly jab. Soon, a waiter stallion approaches their table. "Everything good for you ladies?" he asks, turning to Chrystal. "Anything for you, miss?" "Ah, I don't have any-" "I'm paying, marefriend," Gabby interrupts Chrystal. "Treat yourself!" "Oh, nice. I'll take the blackest bitterest coffee you got. No cream, no sugar." "Ruff!" Grub yips, popping his head out the back once again. "Oh, fine, ONE sugarcube for Grubby. But if I find just one drop of cream or a grain of sugar in my cup, and believe me, I will know, I will grind your teeth into said sugarcube and savor every taste. Thank you, you're a peach." The waiter gives a shaky nod before trotting off without another word. "Fiesty," Grapevine purrs. "I like it." "Anyways, I'm scoping for the best strategy- um, SHOTS, when Shining told me- uh, CADENCE, that he wanted to have a second honeymoon at some nerdy convention and trade in some dork comic book. She was not amused." "How could you tell?" Chit Chat asks. The waiter eventually returns with Chrystal's dark drink, setting it down before her. With a devious grin, she lifts the cup with her horn. "Trust me," she hums, sipping her bitter beverage. "I just know..." "That is just incredible, color me impressed." Gabby chuckles, sipping her drink. "You should see what her and Princess Twilight do together. The two just moon each other just for the hay of it, they've been doing it as kids apparently." "No, you're kidding!" "..." "She's not kidding! We've found another GG, ladies!" "GG! GG! GG! GG! GG!" Chit and Grape chant. "GG?" Chrystal ponders. "What is that?" "Ruff!" Grub barks. "Game? What game? When do you play games?" "Chryssy," Gabby clears her throat, clipping a glittery diamond-encrusted watermelon shaped emblem to her purse. "You are now an official member of Canterlot's very own Gossip Gals!" "Huh, that was easy..." "Yip!" "With such a fiesty addition, we'll have the hot 'n spiciest, juiciest gossip in all of Equestria!" "Juicier than Celestia's flank? We'll drown." The four burst into a slimy round of laughter, tipping their glasses amongst each other with girlish glee. "Ooh, aren't you a sneaky little missy." Gabby sighs, wiping a tear from her eye. "Believe me, you don't know the half of it, girls..." > Clubbin' & Clobberin' > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Come on before the hottie behind the bar is taken!" "Chitty, he's out of your league, girl." "I don't care, he can hit a homerun in my bleachers anytime he wants!" Later that afternoon, the Gossip Gals take their newest member Chrystal out to one of Canterlot's trendiest nightclubs, pLace. "pLace?" Chrystal utters in disbelief staring at the brightly lit sign above the violet trimmed establishment. "That's what they settled with?" "It's stylish, one word titles." Gabby states. "When you get it, ya get it, you know what I mean?" "No." "All in good time, Chryssy." The confident mares stroll their way up to the front of a long long line of impatient ponies standing before them. Flashing their GG emblems to a stoic shades-wearing pegasus bouncer, the three pals get immediate access only for the gruff stallion to block Chrystal's entry. "She's with us, bud!" Gabby calls out from inside. "Mmm." the bouncer nods, stepping to the side. "I'm not so sure about all this, girls." Chrystal sighs, trotting by to catch up with her gang. "You'll be fine," Grapevine hollers over the loud pulsing music. "Clubs aren't for worrying, they're for working it and I have a stallion who needs some workin'!" Shuffling her way through the packed house, Chrystal struggles to adjust to the overwhelming sounds and sights of booming techno pop beats, stomping hooves, drunken cheers, shining lights and clinking glasses. Feeling lost, Chrystal is yanked from the forest of swaying ponies by Gabby and plopped into a clear booth beside her and the others. "Amazing, right?" the mare asks teasingly. "How do you girls get used to this stuff?" Chrystal huffs, covering her ears. "Sheer willpower, shallow self-centered pride and sweet sweet peer pressure!" Soon, a lanky well-dressed unicorn stallion approaches their booth. "And what would you lovely mares have tonight?" he asks, carrying a notepad in his magic. "A round of cider for me and the ladies!" Gabby yells boisterously. "Put it on your tab?" "Oh, Ginny, do you even have to ask?" "I need to use the restroom." Chrystal mutters, fumbling out of her seat toward the restroom across from their table. Inside, the booming music goes to a mere muffle as the door closed, the mare collapsing against the strip of restroom sinks. Setting her purse on it, Grub emerges, panting sweetly. "Stay inside, Grub," Chrystal sighs, lowering the pup back inside. "This place doesn't allow pets." "Mmm..." the dog whines. "You don't think I'm getting jacked up by all the noise as well? It's horrible!" "Ruff!" "Keep it down, fool! I don't want to ruin my first impression, you know that. I've gone too deep with this. Besides, like Gabby said, sweet sweet peer pressure..." "Mmm..." Chrystal takes a deep breath as Grub wiggles back in his hiding spot. After a quick session of ear stretches, the two head out. Returning to her booth, she sees a mysterious stallion chatting up a wobbly Grapevine, clearly wasted. "You're funny," she overhears the mare slurring with an occasional hiccup. "You're funny, and so is this drink, too. What mix is this again?" "It's my...special recipe." the stallion hums. Taking a close hard look at the glass on the table, Chrystal notices a strange reaction of bubbles and fizz swirling through the golden liquid with an unidentifiable patch of white powder resting at the bottom of the cup. There, a disbelieving frown fell upon the mare's seething face. The mere idea of what clicked in her mind sent her blood boiling. "So, uh, you wanna maybe get outta here and go somewhere?" "Hee, I guess I could-" "No!" Chrystal blurts snapping out of her state, getting the group's attention. "I mean, no, you'd better stick with me if you wanna really party." "Huh, is that so?" the stallion strokes his chin with a sly smirk. "Ooooh, look at you." Gabby snickers, nudging Chrystal. "Somepony's wanting to show a guy a good time?" Grapevine burps woozily. "Eeyup, I bet you he ain't never had a mare like me before, I assure you." "Well, let's go then." the stallion nods. "I won't be long, gals. Come on then...hot stuff." Did I really just say that? Chrystal thought. Chrystal rolls her eyes, sliding out of the booth and escorting the creep to the back of the club. Exiting the back door, the sickened mare does a quick scope around the bricked alley for any ponies. "So, where to, sugar flank?" the stallion clears his throat. "Closer." the mare utters. "What's that?" "Come closer..." Curious, the pony follows the unicorn's instructions, stepping closer til their chest fluffs graze each other. "Closer..." Chrystal leans up against the wall on her hind legs, guiding the stallion up to corner her between his burly hooves. "Oh, you wanna do this here?" he chuckles. "Yesssssss..." a sly grin stretches across her face as her company steps in eyes closed, lips puckered. The structure of Chrystal's innocent face snaps and morphs before the creep, the familiar shape of a starving changeling pushes forth as her panting tongue dangles out in anticipation. The stallion halts on his move, opening his eyes to witness the mare's toothy maw drastically unfold. "What the?!" he wails. "Give it to me, baby!" Wrapping her hooves around him like a snake, Chrystal bares her slimy jagged fangs and plants a passionate mouthy kiss on the frightened stallion, her hungry hisses drowning out his cries for help as she roughly drains every ounce of "love" clouding his filthy mind from his body. The vibrant colors of her victim are slurped away, reducing him to a weak, twitching pale mess that she harshly kicks to the ground upon finishing her feeding. "Mmm," she giggles to herself, licking her lips and ruffling the unconscious stallion's mane. "You were sooo good, we should do this again sometime." "Ruff!" Grub barks, tugging at the stallion's tail. "He's spent, Grub," the pony scoops the pup up into her purse. "So am I. That was fun. Let's go before the girl's get worried. Hopefully Grapevine is doing better." Heading back inside for her table, the triumphant mare bounces to the hip beat of the club's music as she waves down her gang. "Chrystal!" Gabby chimes. "You're back so soon?" "Mmhmm," the mare nods, sliding back in the booth with a confident whip of her hair. "He couldn't handle me, that's all." "Like I said, feisty!" Grapevine giggles. "Gal pals!" Chit Chat squeaks, raising her glass. "GAL PALS!" every mare howled, raising their glasses. "Arooooooooo!" Grub cheers. Chrystal tosses Grapevine's glass aside. "I'll getcha a new one."