Ponyville Local News

by Twinsez

First published

Tune in to Ponyville Local News on Ponyville's own radio station, for all things Ponyville!

Tune in at the top of the hour to Ponyville's own local news station, giving you all the hot and interesting topics the town has to offer! Hosted by DJ-Pon3, keep yourself connected with the community around you, and listen to the residents talk about their experiences in this wonderful town.

Enjoy, and long live Equestria.

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The Ponyville Local Radio is sponsored by Pinkie’s Gum! Now in Very Berry flavor. Buy your Pinkie Gum today, and enter a world of flavor!


“Hellllllloooooooooo Ponvillians! This is DJ-Pon3 coming at you live with the first ever broadcast of the Ponyville Local News at the top of the hour, your news source for all things Ponyville! Now before we get into some local news, we have a very big announcement for you all! Equestrian Government has publicly announced that the Griffon War should end soon, and it looks like we’ll be pulling out with a victory! My fellow Ponvillians, I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear these news! Not two years ago was Ponyville in poverty, it’s ponies left starving and weak. However, conditions have slowly been rising as we took the winning position in the war, and now it looks like we’ll return to full normalcy soon. I, for one, can’t wait until we have those bastards heads on display in Canterlot and Ponyville is back in all it’s glory!

“Now time to get into the heart of this broadcast! We’ve got some very special coverage for you fine listeners today, including a very special guest. You may have seen a certain purple unicorn and baby dragon walking the streets of Ponyville yesterday afternoon. Well, her name is Twilight Sparkle, and she’s here from Canterlot for some important royal business. Well explore the specifics in our interview, so stay tuned in! For now, here’s some news.


“Applejack of Sweet Apple Acres has once again helped out our small town with a big donation. This time, she donated nearly a thousand bits for repairs to the Golden Oaks Library after its recent burning. She has also helmed a recent charity encouraging residents to donate books for the library, and from what we here at the station heard, they're nearly at their goal! So, once again Applejack, thank you for everything you’ve done for our town.

“In other news, a mare by the name of Berry Punch has been arrested for drunkenly striking and nearly killing a 17 year old filly. Witnesses claim the filly was only asking directions to the Town Hall before Miss Punch flew into a blinding rage. Her trial will be held next week.

“And now a brief message from our local police.”


“A small Pegasus filly has run away from her parents in Cloudsdale and is hiding out in Ponyville. She is purple maned with an orange coat and purple eyes. Her name is Scootaloo, but it is entirely possible she is under a different alias. Please report to your nearest police precinct if you have spotted this filly.” Her parents miss her dearly.


“Now we have a very interesting story for you today, folks. One that’s slightly more uplifting than the previous news. Homeless ponies on the streets of Ponyville are taking refuge on the edge of the Everfree Forest. So far, this is completely legal, but Town Hall is looking to prohibit all property not owned or regulated by the local government. We sent in our new reporter Time Turner to investigate these bizarre communities and see how the discussions in the Town Hall are affecting the homeless already.

“As one homeless mare stated: ‘Living here isn’t so bad, really. These lands are home to no pony but the animals, so we’re not trespassing or anything. We all think that'll come to pass soon. We aren’t doing anything wrong.’

“Wise words for the town hall to consider. Oh, and a warning to all you Ponyvillians. There have been several accounts of dark hooded figures knocking on ponies doors and asking for money. I can’t believe I have to say this, but please do not listen to them. Where they are from, nopony knows, and it isn’t your business to know. There have also been accounts of violent break-ins around an hour after refusal of donations, so please immediately call the police and lock all your doors and windows to keep safe. Thank you for listening.

“It’s time for a quick word from our sponsor.”


Hello every pony! This is Pinkie Pie here to sell you my gum, Pinkies Gum! Really simple right? In every stick of gum, you get the maximum amount of flavor that others on the market simply can’t compete with. And, in every packet, you get a free mini-comic book to read with your friends! So try Pinkies Gum today. I’m sure you’ll have a blast, hee-hee!”


“Yeah yeah, dinner is fine at five. Yes, I’ll be there. Alright, I love you… no, I love you… no, I lo-

“Wha? Oh shit! I have to call you back. Love you. *Eherm.* Sorry about that, I guess I lost track of the ad there. But hey, we all make mistakes, right? It just proves that I’m just as ponish as all of you are.

“Now one final piece of news is the local movement here in Ponyville that’s centered on a ban on Diamond Dog-centered labor mines. They claim Diamond Dogs are treated poorly, and shouldn’t be “held captive”. This movement is growing increasingly popular, especially after the recent Griffon Massacre against a local Diamond Dog community near Griffonstone. It’s actually gaining interest in Canterlot now, so we’ll see if this gets serious at all.

“But I don't know about this one. Diamond Dogs are our main source of labor. And when we take them away… what happens then? Do we just lose our ammunition for the war? We have those dogs there for a reason, and they don’t know any better. But hey, let’s see if they can change my mind. Highly doubt it though


“And that concludes our news segment! So now the moment you’ve all been waiting for, we have Miss Twilight Sparkle sitting right next to me. Now Twilight, how have you been today?”

I’ve been, uh, pretty good. T-thanks for asking”

“Aww, no problem girl! How do you like your stay here in Ponyville?”

“Oh! It-it’s great here.”

“Glad to hear it. So, we all have a question here that needs to get answered. What are you doing here, exactly?”

“Well, I come from Canterlot, and I was personally sent here by the Princess herself to supervise the upcoming Summer Sun Celebration and to stay here to write reports about the, uh, th-the town. To, uh, make sure everything’s f-fine.”

“Are you suggesting there’s something wrong going on here?”

“What? No, no I’m not! I w-would nev-”

“Jeez, calm down girl. I’m just playing with you. You’ve been shaking since you got here. What gives?”

“S-sorry. I just… don’t speak like this often. Publicly, I mean.”

“Ah, okay then. So anyways, you sound great to me. But I must ask: how the hell did you get that baby dragon?”

“Who, Spike?”

“If that’s his name.”

“Oh uh, I got him when I was a filly. Actually kinda a long story there.”

“Well, we have a time limit, so I think we’ll be satisfied with that for now. Besides, I want to ask you-”

“Actually, if you don’t mind, can I ask you a question?”

“Well shoot! I’m all ears!”

“I’ve heard talk that there’s this, well, this castle in the Everfree Forest. Well, it sounds really interesting, and I was wondering, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, if I could just go and check it out.”

“...”

“Oh, oh I-I’m sorry. I-I didn’t know anything, I s-swear! I heard it from somepony at Sugarcube Corner. Oh shoot, I can’t remember her! But I swear, I don't know anything!”

“...”

“W-why are you staring at me like that? I said I’m sorry!”

operibus pietatis discipulum a secreto noctis

“Wha-what?”

“Well that’s all the time we have for today! I know we all have so many more questions we want to ask, but I’m afraid we'll have to ask them later.”

“I-I’m sorry if I-”

“So Twilight, I’d recommend you make the most out of your time in Ponyville. And I can assure you, our Summer Sun Celebration will blow your mind.”

“O-okay.”

“So now we return with non-stop music to make your day a little more exciting. Long live Equestria everypony. Here’s “It’s Over But Still” by The Black Stains. Enjoy.”


I know it’s all over, but still I’m crying

And I’m the only one here

You all know that I’m trying

To forget how much I care

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The Ponyville Local Radio is sponsored by Pinkie’s Gum! Now in Very Berry flavor. Buy your Pinkie Gum today, and enter a world of flavor!”


“Helloooooooooo Ponyville! This is DJ-Pon3 coming at you with the Ponyville Local News! It’s been a couple of days since our last broadcast, but now we got a fresh pair of local news that will knock all your socks off! It’s going to be great.

“And we all know what has Ponyville excited. Princess Celestia is coming here to celebrate the Summer Sun Celebration with us. The Princess herself! So everypony best behave yourselves.

“Ponyville is in a frenzy getting ready for the big day, and that unicorn Twilight Sparkle is sure going through a lot of trouble to keep up with it all.

“Oh, and I’d like to talk about Twilight for a little bit. We’ve got some letters asking about the interview we did with her, and how there seemed to be something off about everything. Heh, well let me tell you, there was nothing wrong with that interview. The whole castle thing? Just a silly rumor, that’s all. We were just so shocked she heard of it, or that somepony told her it, we couldn’t say anything! So no need to investigate any further. Because there’s nothing wrong there. Nothing.

“Alright, so let’s get on to the news!

“Applejack has confirmed Sweet Apple Acres will be making their signature Apple feast for the Celebration. You’d think after eating nothing but apples for a year I’d grow tired of anything remotely tasting like an apple, but that fruit is the ambrosia of the goddesses. I’ll never tire of it, and I don’t think many will.

“Carrot Top of Carrot Farms has released a new item for their stores: Carrot Bread. It’s been taking Ponyville by storm, and is one of the fastest selling products in Ponyville history. In fact, it’s even overtaking Sweet Apple Acres in sales! We actually were able to ask Applejack herself about the Carrot Bread and she just had this to say: ‘It’s just a hot item. It’ll eventually wear itself out, and us Apples will be back on top in no time.’

“The Carsoul Boutique has declared bankruptcy and is shutting down. The once popular store has struggled to stay open for years now, and it has finally reached its limit. The close now brings Ponyville to zero fine clothing stores. That’s bringing a lot of pressure to the Boutiques owner Rarity, who’s all of a sudden getting tons of orders from distressed ponies looking for a quick dress or suit. A little too late, huh? Should have ordered when Rarity was still in business. Looks like you’re going to need to go order out of town if you want to look nice for the Celebration. Now me, personally, I look good in anything, so I’m not worried.

“Time for a quick word from our sponser.”


Hello every pony! This is Pinkie Pie here to sell you my gum, Pinkies Gum! Really simple right? In every stick of gum, you get the maximum amount of flavor that others on the market simply can’t compete with. And, in every packet, you get a free mini comic book to read with your friends! So try Pinkies Gum today. I’m sure you’ll have a blast, hee-hee!”


“We also got some more news on the Berry Punch case. It turns out that the victim was a pony by the name of Ruby Red, and the witnesses were her friends. Turns out that they were the ones who instigated the fight, and Berry Punch was just defending herself. Proven not guilty, Berry Punch will be released and the witnesses and Ruby Red will receive lashings as punishment. Guess there’s a happy ending here! So moral of the story: Don’t lie. It's as simple as that.

“Now we have a message from our local police.”


“A small Pegasus filly has run away from her parents in Cloudsdale and is hiding out in Ponyville. She is purple maned with an orange coat and purple eyes. Her name is Scootaloo, but it is entirely possible she is under a different alias. Please report to your nearest police precinct if you have spotted this filly.”


“Damnit, can we find the damn girl already? Her parents are probably worried sick!

“Alright, so just one final piece of news for today. There’s been a pony that has been spotted in Ponyville trying to help others prepare for the celebration. You know, the one with those eyes? Anyway, she has been kicked back out of town every time, but now she’s getting threatened with lashings upon further return. So please make sure she doesn’t get in again, huh? She doesn’t know any better. She’s, uh… what’s the word... a-ha! A retard, that’s right! So please keep the retard away from the celebration. It’s for her own good.

“And that’s it for the news! I hope everypony has a wonderful afternoon, and I look forward to the Summer Sun Celebration. I’m probably going to watch the sunrise with my coltfriend, and sipping on some Manehattan Iced Tea. That’s right, I got a coltfriend! Nope, not giving out names just yet, but just you wait. Now we’re back to the music with ‘My Sweet Celestia’ by Hayrisson. Enjoy, and long live Equestria.

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The Ponyville Local Radio is brought to you by Carrot Farms. Go get yourself some Carrot Bread, the hottest product on the market. Come to our stores located in Ponyville and taste the best thing in Equestria.”


“Happy Summer Sun Celebration everypony! This is Dj-Pon3 coming at you with the Ponyville Local News at the top of the hour! And do we have a special broadcast for you today! You see, today’s a holiday, and holidays deserve something new, not just boring old regular news. So that’s why today, we did the impossible. We have only our second guest interviewee, and yet it’s the one you were all secretly hoping for. Ponyvillians, I cannot stress how excited I am to interview this mare for you fine ponies today. So, mares and gentlecolts, I’m happy to announce that, sitting right next to me is your one and only Princess Celestia. Why don’t you give the ponies of Ponyville a hello, Princess?”

“Hello, my little ponies. I am very happy to be able to talk with you all today. Ponyville was always one of my favorite towns in Equestria, and I’d like to thank the station here for allowing me to do this.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Thank you for coming Princess.”

“Please, call me Celestia.”

“Okay! So, as much as I would like to ask you these type of questions, you didn’t come her to talk politics.”

“I’m afraid I didn’t, no.”

“Good, glad we can clear that up. However, there is just one question that everypony here in Ponyville has been dying to hear you answer.”

“Oh? And what, pray tell, is it?”

“Well, we all just want to know… is the Griffon War really almost over?”

“Ah, I thought you might say that. Well, I guess I could answer just one. While I can’t reveal any specifics, I can assure the ponies of Equestria that the end is in sight, and our soldiers are fighting hard to ensure victory and peace for all.”

It’s incredibly reassuring to hear that from you Prin- whoops! From you Celestia. So now that we got that out of the way, we can just have a fun interview. So, I’d like to start off by asking you this: does it ever get old raising the sun and moon everyday?”

“Hmmmm, that’s a good question. No, I don’t think so. Sure, I do tire from it at times. When you’ve lived as long as I have, you’ll eventually grow tired of most things. But, it still is a duty. It’s necessary to maintain the stability of Equestria, and thus, I must do it. And I will forever do it until Equestria lives no more, which will be never. Keeping Equestria happy will never get old.”

“Great answer. Another question: What was Equestria like when you first started your rule?”

“Well, it was much different from today’s Equestria, I assure you. There were no wars, no fighting, no enemies. It was just ponies helping ponies live in harmony. Of course, our neighbors would begin to grow more savage and violent over time, and we’d experience our fair share of enemies. Discord, Sombra, Zebras, the Changelings, the Sea Ponies. And now the griffons. But remember, every previous enemy Equestria has faced, we have defeated. The griffons will not take the upper hand today. Not ever.”

“Well, I can’t help but point out you forgot to mention Nightmare Moon.”

“Ah yes, Nightmare Moon. Must have slipped my mind.”

“Well, today is the Summer Sun Celebration. The day you killed her.”

“... I am well aware of that. It’s most tragic, really. She came down from the stars, and challenged my authority. She wanted an endless night, and I could simply not allow that. So yes. I… vanquished her.”

“So, how many years has it been now?”

“O-one thousand.”

“Ahhhhh, big number 1000. So anyways, do you see your defeat of Nightmare Moon as one of your biggest victories?”

“H-how dare you! I’m appalled that you would think I would consider anything a ‘personal victory.’ Everything I do I do for the benefit of Equestria and for the world, not for some personal validation. Nightmare Moon was a threat to Equestria, so I had to do what had to be done. I was not aware I would be attacked for my past actions when I agreed to this interview. What you are doing is strictly unprofessional. I coul-“

“WOAH there! I didn’t mean any offense, I swear! I just worded that wrong, okay? I apologize for that. Please, sit down. Don’t storm out of the station when we’re live.”

“...So be it. But if you EVER ask me those type of questions again-“

“Yes yes, it won’t happen again Princess, I promise. So let’s get back into this with a fun question. Rumor has it you enjoy a good cocktail in your free time. If it’s true, what would you say is your favorite one?”

“Oh. Well, I do suppose it’s true I do fancy a good cocktail. If it’s in the summer, I’ll have a Manehattan Iced Tea. I love Apple Cider and everything you can make with it in the fall, and Egg Nog for the winter. Now that’s a nice question.”

“That’s right, we’re just taking it easy here. Now, what do you love most here about Ponyville?”

“Oh, I must say the close community this town has. You don’t find many collective communities in the big cities like Manehattan, and Cloudsdale and all of those Pegasus cities focus so much on military fighting. But here, it’s so peaceful, like a nice fire during a snowstorm. This town is filled with passionate ponies dedicated to growing the town they love. From such humble origins, it’s been a pleasure to watch this town grow from the ground up. It broke my heart to see this town struggle so during the last couple of years, but I can promise you that after we win, Ponyville and all those other farming communities will be the first towns we help. So don’t worry Ponyvillians. You’re Princess hasn’t forgotten you.”

“Thank you Celestia. I’m sure everypony listening will be delighted to hear that.”

“As they should.”

“Well Celestia, would you like to leave it off with that?”

“Oh, I would love to stay, but I’m very busy today. I have to raise the sun, after all.”

“Of course, we all understand. Just thank you so much for doing the festival here, it means a lot to us.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. As I said, I do love this town deeply, and I wouldn’t want to bring back the festival anywhere else.”

“Well, thanks for coming here Princess. So, to all you listeners, I hoped you enjoyed this interview, because I know I certainly did! So go out there and stay up late to celebrate the one thousandth year since the vanquishment of Luna. Now we return to music with Down By The River by-“

“L-Luna?”

“Huh? I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

“Luna. Y-you said Luna. W-where did you g-get that name?”

“What? Oh, I meant to say Nightmare Moon, I’m sure. I bet I just messed it up. I mean Luna is just another name for the moon, so easy mix-up really.

“...uh, Princess? Are you okay? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

“...she was so young, so innocent. She looked up to me like a sister, and I loved her.”

“I’m sorry?”

“It just had to go after her. It had to. And what was I to do? I didn’t know it’s power, I didn’t know what it would do.”

“Uh, Princess? I’m sorry if I upset you, but can you stop talking like this? It’s scaring me.”

“Why don’t you forgive me? I’ve done so much for you. Please, it was just an accident. I did not know it’s power. After all I’ve done for you… I am sorry! You must believe me! … but you still don’t? It was an accident, I did not know it’s power.”

“Pr-Princess? Why are you talking to the wall.”

“I LOVE YOU! I MISS YOU SO MUCH! IVE DONE ALL THIS FOR YOU,JUST FORGIVE ME!”

“Okay, that’s it. Shut off the broadcast. NOW! Hey Princess, it’s alright. Just calm down and- OW, shit! Shes thrashing. Somepony help me with her… DONT JUST STAND THERE! HELP ME!”

“ALL OF THIS FOR YOU. I LOVE YOU SISTER, I LOVE YOU! I DID NOT KNOW ITS POWER, PLEASE! ...WHY WON’T YOU FORGIVE ME?”

“Shit, she’s using magic. Hold her down, don’t let her fire!”

“ET ESSENT INNOCENTES! OCULOS SIMILES SIDERIBUS! NON OPUS EST TIBI UT MORIATUR!"

“WHY ARE YOU STILL BEHIND THE GLASS? TURN THE DAMN BROADCAST OFF! ANYTHING BUT THIS! GET THIS OFF THE AIR! NOW! SHUT IT O-“


“Hello everypony! My name is Carrot Top, and I’m just a simple carrot farmer in Ponyville looking to sell only the best food that we have to offer. All of our products are handmade, and are filled with our special ingredient: love! Try our new Carrot Bread for a snack, or buy out naturally grown, delicious carrots that will get the whole family smiling at dinner! So come to our local stores and taste the best thing in Equestria!”


Down by the river

Under the bridge

And then I saw her

She spoke to me

And now I yell

And now I scream

She’ll never know

What I know

That blue maned filly

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“Local Ponyville News is brought to you by Carrot Farms. Go get yourself some Carrot Bread, the hottest product on the market. Come to our stores located in Ponyville and taste the best thing on Equestria.”


“Gooood afternoon Ponyville! This is DJ-Pon3 coming at you live at the top of the hour, here to bring you the local news. The Summer Sun Celebration was… weird yesterday, and we have a lot to cover. But before we get into that, this station needs to apologize for something terrible.

“You see, our Princess has always been known as a prankster of sorts. Her pranks have always been harmless enough though that nopony seems to give much thought to it. But we wanted to play a little prank on all you listeners out there, and we asked the Princess if she would be into it. She said yes, and that’s where we have to apologize. We pressured her into freaking out on live radio, and we all deeply regret it. We did not mean to scare the good citizens of Ponyville, or to sully the Princess’s name. It was simply a prank gone to far, and the station won’t let it happen again.

“So now, let’s talk about the Summer Sun Celebration. So the Apples had their feast at Sweet Apple Acres yesterday evening. It was much bigger than anything they put out in the previous years, for obvious reasons. However, there was one problem: Carrot Top. Carrot Top unofficially announced that her farm would hold a similar feast and that they would be happy if some ponies could come by. Of course, ponies thought she meant that everypony could stop on by, and Carrot Farms was jampacked with hungry ponies by the evening.

“This obviously angered Applejack, even though her own festival still attracted many ponies, including yours truly. Those Apple Dumplings were on point! Anyway, she has not yet made a public statement about Carrot Top, but this whole thing has probably put a lot of pressure on her to keep her business growing.

“The Carrot Bread is pretty good though. I tried it a couple days ago. In fact, I have a loaf at home, probably going to devour it after this broadcast.

“But you didn’t tune in to hear about what I eat! You’re here for the news, and we will give you the news! No matter how bad they are.

“A vicious brawl broke out in Mareson’s bar, and it unfortunately got violent. There’s not even a reason why the fight started, the ponies apparently just started throwing hooves at each other randomly. Maybe the drinks were working too well. Anyway, to make it even more depressing, one of the fighters was Rarity Belle. The mare who lost her shop a couple of days ago. She’s hospitalized right now, along with three other ponies in the fight. She’s been fined for 500 bits, which she doesn’t have, so she’s in the shitter right now. I feel bad for her. I really do. Hope she can cobble together some bits, but I don’t know how she can.

“Besides the fight, the Celebration would go on smoothly. Most excitedly, Apple Bloom, the adorable sister of Applejack, would go on to win every single competition in the Filly Games! From tennis to pole vaulting, that little filly did it all! I swear she should be this towns mascot of something. She should be protected at all costs.

“As much as I would love to talk more about that kind of stuff, we don’t have time for that. So unfortunately, we must continue. By the time the sun set, which the Princess did surprisingly in secrecy instead in front of a crowd, parties were raging all over Ponyville. I wish all that happened were a couple extra fights or some noisy shouting. Unfortunately, something much worse occurred.

“The fire was sighted at around 3:00 this morning. It was sighted a mile deep in the Everfree Forest and quickly spread. The fire spread all the way to the edge of the forest before finally being extinguished by our very own Ponyville Weather Team. However, the results of the fire have been disastrous. Who knows how many wildlife and local plants have perished from this fire, and the homeless ponies that were living near the forest have been forced to evacuate from the smoke. It is still uncertain when they’ll return. Not to mention how the fire was caused on the first place.

“And then t-there was the problem with the m-moon. There were many reports concerning a o-odd color ch-change in the moon. According to these ponies, for around f-five minutes at a-around 5:00, the moon appeared bright red. The c-cause is unknown, only another mystery added to th-this summer sun celebration.

“But we do have some good news! While the fire was being extinguished, they were handing out Apple Family treats to terrified ponies, even the homeless ponies that had to evacuate.

“...I can’t do this. I’m sorry I can’t. There’s nothing here I want to report, I c-can't report this. Look, my hooves are shaking! I can’t keep doing this, we have nothing good to report, we’re not even done! Please, end it. Give me time, I’m shaking. Shit, somepony give me water. I’m dying, I’m dying. What did we do, what did we do we shouldn’t have done it oh please help me there’s nothing to report nothing matters please help stop it please stop it I’m shaking help help help help hel-“


“The filly Scootaloo still has not been found. Please look for. She must be returned to her family. It is imperative. If you find this filly, report to Ponyville police immediately. If you withhold any information regarding this filly and her location, there will be serious consequences. It’s important to make sure she does not leave this town. Find this filly. It is of the upmo-“

“-I will see to it this glorious country will live on forever and ever. Remember that, fellow ponies. I will keep no secrets from you, because you are what keeps this country. You are what makes this land great. You are what keeps ponies in power. And it is you that will help me make Equestria the greatest country in the worl-“

“-st importance.”


“Hello everypony! This is reporter Time Turner, filling in for DJ-Pon3 to close out this news segment. She’s undergoing personal problems at the moment, but don’t worry. She’ll be absolutely fine! She’s just under a lot of stress. Yesterday wasn’t exactly a walk in the park for anypony. Anyways, let’s finish this with one more bit of news.

“There were several reports that cloaked figures were found exiting out of the Town Hall, only minutes before the red moon was also reported. Might we add, Princess Celestia herself was staying at the Town Hall. While these reports may not be true, it’s hard not to wonder what those figures were doing at the hall, or if they had any business with the Princess. Let’s hope not.

“And now, we have a special announcement. Thanks to a donation from our Princess, we have received top-notch audio equipment. That’s right, now we can get audio outside of the station. Sure makes my job a good deal easier. So I was able to sneak on down to the hall and catch Princess Celestia’s speech as she was raising the sun. Let’s take a listen, shall we?”

“Fellow ponies, today has not been as great a day as I hoped. The fire, the odd color of the moon, and the fights. But I don’t think it’s fair to just look at all the negatives from this celebration. Because this day marks a change for Equestria. I raise the sun every day, but you know why this time is so special?

“This raising of the sun represents a new change in Equestria, the realization that success is only on the horizon. To celebrate the future, and look at the past as only a distant memory. Every celebration, I hope that Equestria can change in some way, to further better itself and the creatures around it.

“That hope has been put in jeopardy these past few years, but it is back my ponies. It is back, and with that, the importance of this celebration is also reborn. This is the day where we celebrate not only the past successes of Equestria, but its future successes as well. Where everypony, town or city, big and small, has a part to play. I will see to it this glorious country will live on forever and ever. Remember that, fellow ponies. I will keep no secrets from you because you are what keeps this country alive. You are what makes this land great. You are what keeps ponies in power. And it is you that will help me keep Equestria's place as the greatest country in the world. So let us welcome new successes that are certain to come with the raising of the sun, in front of you all. And remember: long live Equestria!”

“Isn’t that a rousing speech? That was certain to get the town cheering. And remember everypony, there is success on the horizon. And a big change is coming. Just you wait, Ponyville. Just you wait. It will be something the angels will sing about. Now time for some music. This is When Can I See You by Blue Velvet. Enjoy, and long live Equestria.”


When can I see you again, my darling
Oh, I’ve waited oh so long
To feel your loving touch, my darling
To tell me there ain’t nothing wrong

But now I think my heart is breaking, my darling
Because I’ve waited oh so long
So tell me when you’re coming back, my darling
So I can stop singing this song

Important Announcement 001

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In a place that everypony loathes
The creatures there reap what they sow
Because they all know of the sorrow of this world
But they choose to ignore it to bury their woes

Because this world baby, it’s you and me
And I intend to go down in history
So come with me girl, if you’ll oblige
Life’s just one big room so everypony come inside

Now I heard yesterday that-

“Attention Ponyville. I have a very important announcement for you all. My name is S.M.I.L.E agent Sweetie Drops, and we at S.M.I.L.E have been assigned to Ponyville for investigations. Now I understand the name S.M.I.L.E carries a lot of dramatic weight, but let me assure you: we at S.M.I.L.E do not mean you or your town any harm. Nor should you worry about the purpose of these investigations. There have just been several abnormal reports from Ponyville that have become impossible to ignore. We understand that Ponyville is not used to visits from S.M.I.L.E, but there really is nothing to fear. These investigations happen all the time without anypony getting hurt. Most likely, there is nothing wrong.

“We at S.M.I.L.E will do our best to keep from bothering you in your day to day lives. However, there will be times where we may ask you some questions, and we implore you to be as cooperative with us as you possibly can during the questioning. If you have any questions, visit me in the Town Hall at the Guest Offices section. I’ll be happy to answer any questions you may have. However, do not ask about the nature of these investigations. They are classified and thus we are unable to answer them. Don’t ask these questions twice.

“Most likely, you’ll barely even notice us, and we’ll leave Ponyville in peace in just a few weeks. As long as you cooperate with us, nothing should go wrong. We thank you for your understanding, and you can now return to your music.”

“Long live Equestria, and have a good night.”

-speaking with your pride

Because this world baby, it’s you and me
And I intend to survive and go down in history
So come with me girl, if you’ll oblige
Life’s just one big room so everypony come inside

Now heed these words and heed them well
Stay in this world even when you hear those bells
Because think of all the stories to tell
The younger ones when it’s their time to enter hell

Hello everypony, this is Time Turner, temporarily filling in for DJ-Pon3 while she’s taking a leave of abscence. That was Come Inside” by Blue Mitchell. Interesting story about that one, Mitchelll apparently wrote this song based off her experiences in the Zebrican lands out west. Surely I wouldn't want to live in that world. So to all those ponies complaining about their life and how hard we have it, be grateful you were at least born in Equestria, and not in the lands of savagery. Next up is “Little Sunshine” by Miss Allister. Enjoy, and long live Equestria.”

Ponyville Local News 005

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“Local Ponyville News is brought to you by Carrot Farms. Go get yourself some Carrot Bread, the hottest product on the market. Come to our stores located in Ponyville and taste the best thing in Equestria.”


“Hello everypony, this is Time Turner, reporting the Ponyville local news today at 12:00. Unfortunately, DJ-Pon3 is still on a long hiatus since last week, so I’m here to serve as a sort of replacement for her. That is, until she comes back. So without further delay, here are the news.

“...Actually, we have an urgent message from our local police that we must play first. Here it is.”


“The filly Scootaloo still has not been found. Please look for her. She must be returned to her family. It is imperative. If you find this filly, report to Ponyville police immediately. If you withhold any information regarding this filly and her location, there will be serious consequences. It’s important to make sure she does not leave this town. Find this filly. It is of the upmost importance. Thank you for your compliance.”


“Ponyville is already beginning to recover from the devastating fire that mysteriously took place during the Summer Sun Celebration. The homeless ponies have already begun to return to their previously inhabitable neighborhoods outside the Everfree Forest. However, some ponies are skeptical.

“That isn’t out home anymore. I can still smell the smoke and fire there, and it’s no good. We had a good run here, but I think it’s time to move on. I’m going to go somewhere else I think. Somewhere safer. Somewhere better.

“That’s audio from a young stallion outside of the revived neighborhoods. He represents the worry some of the homeless have and the belief the fire was the final warning before another move someplace else. However, some ponies are just happy to be back in a familiar home.

“It’s great to be back here. My lil sis, she ain’t good with other ponies. She was doing great here, and I’ve never seen her so happy since we first moved here. She’s been doing great with the wildlife out here, and she’s really been helping bring them back out. As for me, I can’t complain. It’s just me and my sis, y’know? This is the best place for us to live. No fire is going to get rid of our family.”

“Now here is a quick message from our sponsor.”


“Hello everypony! My name is Carrot Top, and I’m just a simple carrot farmer in Ponyville. All of our products are handmade, and are filled with our special ingredient: love! Try our new Carrot Bread for a snack, or buy our naturally grown, delicious carrots that will get the whole family smiling at dinner! So come to our local stores and taste the best thing in Equestria.”

-


“Do you even know how stressful this has been? I’ve been reporting and dee-jaying. I can do the transitions, but this? What am I supposed to do? For three minutes? That’s too long! Why do I have to-

“-what!? ...are you serious? You have to be… shit. Okay, sorry about that Ponyville! I’ll continue reporting the news now.

“The Golden Oaks Library has finally been repaired! ...oh, sorry. Only the first floor has been completed. So now Twilight Sparkle, our Town Inspector, will be moving in. She’s already talked to the mayor about this, and she’s agreed to live there for the rest of her stay as long as she would take over as Librarian since our old librarian did… well, what he did. So go on down to the library if you’d like to check out a book.

“Our final story is about S.M.I.L.E. Many Ponyvillians are confused and even angry about the S.M.I.L.E agents that have recently taken shop in our fair town. We here at Ponyville Local Radio understand the anger. S.M.I.L.E doesn’t exactly have the best reputation in Equestria, but they are just here to help. They are part of the government, and the government always looks out for us. So even if you don’t exactly agree with their practices, or don’t believe there’s even any reason why they should be here in the first place, just please try to calm down. It’s only for a few weeks, so try not to anger them in that timespan. It’s for the good of everypony. Please.

“...alright, well I’m spent. Does anyone else find it hot in here? Anyways, just don’t bother S.M.I.L.E and don’t give them a reason to stay here any longer than they need to. So that’s it for today Ponyville. Have a great day, and listen to some more music. This is ‘All These Goodbyes’ by Harmonica. Enjoy, and long live Equestria.”


As the waves roll into the beach shore
I look into your eyes
And I say I’m so sick and tired of
All these no good goodbyes

I'm staying here with you forever
From dusk to dawn
You can trust me when I say, baby
I don’t mean to do you no harm (No more)

Ponyville Local News 006

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“Ponyville Local News is brought to you by Carrot Farms. Go get yourself some Carrot Bread, the hottest product on the market. Come to our stores located in Ponyville and taste the best thing in Equestria.”


“Hello, Ponyville! No, your ears aren’t deceiving you! It really is me, DJ PON-3! I’m back and better than ever. Last time you heard me, I was having a panic attack on live radio. Yikes! But the station let me take the time to relax and take a break from my job. Spent some time eating ice cream, hanging with my coltfriend, eating some more ice cream. And I gotta say, that really helped, and now I’m back to give you all the news. Also because I couldn’t bear to listen to Time Turner's boring drivel anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I love the stallion, but he can’t DJ to save his life.

“So without further ado, let’s get to the news… BUT FIRST! First, we need to play this message from our local police.”


“The filly Scootaloo still has not been found. Please look for her. She must be returned to her family. It is imperative. If you find this filly, report to Ponyville police immediately. If you withhold any information regarding this filly and her location, there will be serious consequences. It’s important to make sure she does not leave this town. Find this filly. It is of the utmost importance. Thank you for your compliance.”


“Okay, so I’m pretty sure that if the police change their message to become more urgent, you should start paying attention. So come on everypony, find that filly. It’s been like two weeks now.

“Anyways, we got one big story for today, and you might want to pay close attention. This is very important. So it’s been, what, two weeks since S.M.I.L.E came into our fair town, and let’s just say they have not received a warm welcome. It started off sort of quiet, with just a few jeers hurled at officers on the street, or some complaints thrown at the town hall's office that were mostly ignored. But we here at the station saw a blooming problem that was soon to get out of hoof, so we warned everypony. We told you Ponyvillians to lay off from the S.M.I.L.E hate unless we want to drive this thing out of control, and then we have the government on our hooves.

“So naturally, everypony took that warning as a sign to flip out. A few days after that broadcast, a giant mob of around one hundred ponies or so, our sources say, gathered in front of the Town Hall to protest, you guessed it, S.M.I.L.E! And it got really nasty down there folks. It started off peaceful, but then a few idiots started to incite violence, and then before you knew it, we almost had a full-blown riot on our hooves. Ponies throwing signs, kicking each other, and oh the yelling! I’m sure the Princess could hear the commotion all the way from Canterlot. The police were sent to try to calm everypony down, but that just made it worse.

“Finally, when it seemed like the ponies were going to storm the Town Hall, two S.M.I.L.E agents walked out of the building and stood on its porch, just looking at the protesters. That’s all it took, as in ten minutes the crowd of ponies dispersed, leaving nothing but the remains of broken signs.

“Still, the damage was done. Upwards to fifteen ponies were sent to the hospital from injuries sustained during the protest. One of the ponies arrested was the presumed ringleader Berry Punch. You heard that right, that Berry Punch. Guess there’s such a thing as too many chances.

“Thankfully, there has not been a protest since that day. Still, tensions remain high in this small town, and we at the station are worried. So we decided to tackle the problem head-on to get some answers. And surprisingly it wasn’t that hard. All we needed to do was ask nicely.

“Mares and gentlecolts, sitting right next to me is none other than leading officer Sweetie Drops of S.M.I.L.E. She is in charge of S.M.I.L.E here in Ponyville, and she’s going to try calm all you rioting ponies down. So, hello Ms. Drops.”

“Hello, Miss Scratch. Thank you for inviting me here. I'm happy to talk.”

“No problem Miss Drops. No problem at all. And you can just call me Pon-3.”

“Alright then, as you wish.”

“So let’s get to the first question, because I’m sure many ponies are dying to hear what you have to say.”

“I sure hope so.”

“So, let’s ask you the main question here, right out of the gate. Why is S.M.I.L.E taking such interest in our little town? Now I understa-“

“I’m sorry, but that information is classified. S.M.I.L.E is not at liberty to share that to the public.”

“-Yeah, I get that. But is there any more detail you can tell us, something to keep us just the tiny bit satisfied?”

“We already explained enough to Ponyville in the announcement upon our arrival. I hope I don’t have to repeat myself.”

“Miss Drops, please. We understand there’s something strange in Ponyville, we’ll admit that! But if you tell us some more information about it, we could give you a little more help.”

“Ms. Scratch-

“Pon-3.”

“…Miss Scratch, let me give you a word of advice: Change topics. Even if I could give you those answers, you wouldn’t like them. I'm happy to answer any questions you may have about S.M.I.L.E, except for our specific business. That is not for the public to know.”

“Wha-wha…wha-“

“Now, I understand you have more questions to ask me?”

“Uh, y-yeah. Yeah, I do.”

“Then you might want to ask those instead.”

“…yeah. Yes, I mean, that’s a good idea. Uh, what do you want to say to the Ponyvillians unhappy with your organization's research in this town?”

“Now this, I can answer. S.M.I.L.E is here from a direct order by the Princess. Our business here is very classified, so we can not share many details with the public. However, we are all here to cooperate with each other. My officers are ordered to treat this town with nothing but respect, I hope you can say the same. What happened at the Town Hall was terrible, and a betrayal of our trust. We will continue to show peace and respect to Ponyville, all we ask from you is similar respect.

“However, our reputation has not been built on false accounts. We will stay here in Ponyville to finish the job we have been assigned to. No matter how much anypony tries to drive us away, we will continue to do our job. Consent is recommended, but not required.

“But we hope it won’t have any… unwanted results. Tolerate us, and we’ll be out of your mane in just a little bit.”

“…”

“Miss Scratch, do you have any more questions you would like to ask me?”

“…y-yeah.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“…no.”

“Don’t worry Miss Scratch. I should get going myself. I need to check in on my officers. I hope you have a pleasant afternoon. We’ll talk sometime in the near future, I can tell you that.”

“R-right. Thanks for talking with us Miss… Miss… anyway, I think it’s time for the ad, yeah? Yeah, let’s pull up the ad.”


“Hello everypony! My name is Carrot Top, and I’m just a simple carrot farmer in Ponyville. All of our products are handmade, and are filled with our special ingredient: love! Try our new Carrot Bread for a snack, or buy our naturally grown, delicious carrots that will get the whole family smiling at dinner! So come to our local stores and taste the best thing in Equestria.”


Okay everypony! I hope you enjoyed that interview. Basically, don’t mess with S.M.I.L.E. Just let them do their jobs, and they’ll let us do ours. I don’t think we want them on our bad side. Soon enough, they’ll find nothing wrong here, and they’ll leave. Just… just hang in there everypony.

So, that’s it for the news today. It sure is great to be back here, and I hope you all are just as excited. We’ll see you in a couple of days, but until then, enjoy some music. And boy, do we got a special song today! My dear friend Octavia Melody from Canterlot has mailed me several songs of hers she would like us to play live on the station. So, I’m going to do just that!

I know classical isn’t what you usually listen to here, but a change of pace never hurt anypony! So here’s a couple songs to soothe your mind. Enjoy, and long live Equestria.

Ponyville Local News 007

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“Ponyville Local News is brought to you by Carrot Farms. Go get yourself some Carrot Bread, the hottest product on the market. Come to our stores located in Ponyville and taste the best thing in Equestria.”


“Hello Ponyville! Welcome back to another broadcast of Ponyville Local News at the top of the hour! We hope it’s been a great week for all of you out there. We’re happy to say that the tension left by SMILE has all but disappeared. Life is good.

“So, let’s get right to it! Carrot Top and Applejack have declared a friendly competition to be held next week at Sweet Apple Acres. From a sunrise to sunset, they’ll set up their stands in a race to see who’s product sells more.

“Applejack, who’s been struggling thanks to Carrot Top’s recent success, gave no comment on this competition. However, Carrot Top was more than happy to share her thoughts.”

“Oh, I’m so excited! I have so much respect for Applejack and all she’s done for Ponyville. She’s the reason why I can continue working on my farm. I think the whole thing will be a nice showcase of our greatest hits, and we’ll be able to give ponies some delicious food, which is all I can really ask for.

“Huh? No, I don’t care about winning. It’s all about fun, and I don’t intend on turning this whole thing into a serious competitive match. I’m just going to go out there and have a great time!”

“Make sure to pinpoint next Wednesday on your calendar, everypony! It’ll be a fun day for all! Personally, I’m banking on Applejack to steal the show, but good luck to Carrot Top too.

“In other news, the Golden Oaks Library has been completely finished and restocked with books. It will once again be opened to the public starting tomorrow morning, so make sure you show up!

“Of course, don’t forget to give a little friendly wave to my gal, Twilight Sparkle. Just be careful. She’s shy.

“And now for an announcement from our local police, just in case if you haven’t heard it enough already.”


“The filly Scootaloo still has not been found. Please look for her. She must be returned to her family. It is imperative. If you find this filly, report to Ponyville police immediately. If you withhold any information regarding this filly and her location, there will be serious consequences. It’s important to make sure she does not leave this town. Find this filly. It is of the upmost importance. Thank you for your compliance.”


“Now time for the big, serious news you all have been waiting for. Berry Punch is being put on trial for her actions in the Town Hall riot last week. Her reported crimes are “inciting chaos in the town,” and “working against authority.” These are two major crimes, and this could possibly result in a banishment, which hasn’t been properly sentenced in over a decade. Some ponies are furious about these charges, and we were able to interview a few of them. Here’s what they have to say.”

It’s bullshit, that’s what it is. I’ve known Berry Punch for most of my life. She would never do something like this, not ever. Sure, she’s a little tipsy sometimes, but she’s never lost her mind this bad before. They’re signaling her out, I’m sure of it. They just need somepony to blame.”

“I was in that crowd last week, and nopony there was a leader. You know, I only saw Berry Punch by the end. I don’t think she did a damn thing. She’s a good soul, she doesn’t deserve this. All SMILE’s fault, I tell you.”

“You know what it is, right? It’s them aliens, that’s what. First they turn my moon red, and then they mess up my toilet. Now they're turning us against each other. They mind controlled that lot at the town hall, that’s for true. Luckily, I got my eggs, hairclip, and towel, so I’m safe from their evil influence. I suggest you all follow my lead before they get you too.”

“Okay, okay, so the last one was a joke. But I’m sure you still understand someponies are pretty heated about this whole thing. So we tried to ask the mayor herself, who will be chief judge at the upcoming trial next month. Unfortunately, she told us to shove it, so we couldn’t get any information from our town hall.

“We were also unable to get Berry Punch’s or SMILE’s opinion about the trial, so instead we asked local smartie, Twilight Sparkle!”

Um, I’m not sure. I mean, we’ll just have to see. I trust the mayor has a fair view of this whole situation, and will decide accordingly. I mean, I’m not very… familiar with Berry Punch, and I wasn’t near the town hall that day, but… I don’t know. I’d like to think she’s innocent, but I just can’t really say for sure.

“Huh? Oh! Um… I’m sorry. I’m not in the mood for dinner. Sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“Oh ho! You just heard Time Turner get shut down! Almost like our radio show when you took over for me!

“Ho ho! It’s all jokes, it’s all jokes. Anyways, now here’s a few ponies who believe Berry Punch is guilty. Let’s hear what they have to say.”

She’s a drunk. I’m not surprised. This was going to happen sooner or later. She’ll get what’s coming to her. Banishment is too good for her.”

“It’s just one, huge blemish on our little town. Well, we don’t keep blemishes here, no sir. We got rid of that retard with the stupid eyes, and we’ll get rid of our local drunk.”

“You know what it is, right? It’s them aliens, that’s what. First they turn my moon red, and then they mess up my toilet. Now they're turning us against each other. They mind controlled that lot at the town hall, that’s for true. Luckily, I got my eggs, hairclip, and towel, so I’m safe from their evil influence. I suggest you all follow my lead before they get you too.”

“HAHA! I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I can’t help myself! It’s just too good!

“Alright, anyways. Before our final piece of news, here’s a word from our sponsor.”


“Hello everypony! My name is Carrot Top, and I’m just a simple carrot farmer in Ponyville. All of our products are handmade, and are filled with our special ingredient: love! Try our new Carrot Bread for a snack, or buy our naturally grown, delicious carrots that will get the whole family smiling at dinner! So come to our local stores and taste the best thing in Equestria.”


“Oh, and some more exciting news: a local hero is coming back to town! That’s right, our very own Rainbow Dash is coming home next week. She’s spent the last couple of years fighting the good fight out east, and now she’s sent back here for some much deserved rest and relaxation. It’ll be nice to see an old face again, and I can’t wait to greet her! I suggest you all give her the biggest salute you can muster, because she deserves it.

“Well, that’s all there is to report. I hope you all have a great day, and make sure to stick around for some rocking tunes. Up next is Too Good For You by The Running Max. Enjoy, and Long Live Equestria.”


Leaving you now
That’s what I say
Gonna get a piece of you away
Under the bridge
Where you belong
Nowhere to go
Sound the alarm
Anybody gonna help me through this time?
Anybodyanybodyanybodyanybodyanybody

Leavingyounowleavingyoun
Undertheunderbridgetheunder
Nowherenowherenowherenowherenowhe
Anybodyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyanyanyanayanayany

P……………-


Sorry folks, looks like that tape’s busted. Sorry to give you all a scare like that. I swore it looked good. Instead, here’s My Sweet Celestia by Hayrisson. Enjoy, and Long Live Equestria.

Ponyville Local News 008

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“Local Ponyville News is brought to you by Carrot Farms. Go get yourself some Carrot Bread, the hottest product on the market. Come to our stores located in Ponyville and taste the best thing in Equestria.”


“Hello, Ponyville! I’m DJ-PON3, and this is Ponyville Local News coming at you live at the top of the hour! It’s a beautiful day outside, so I hope you all listen to this on your porch with a cold glass of iced tea between your hooves. Just talking about all that makes me giddy! But enough about all that; it’s time for some news.

“Carrot Top and Applejack’s unnamed competition will be held at Sweet Apple Acres tomorrow at noon. There will also be live music and games, courtesy of Applejack. According to Carrot Top, she’ll bring “only what matters” to the competition, so let’s hope it’s enough. Both sides are stoked, and so am I. I’m sure I won’t be the only pony heading down to Sweet Apple Acres tomorrow. In fact, I expect to see the whole town there, giving support to the pony whose crops practically saved the town and the other hotshot pony with the goods that sell so fast, it could leave a bolt of lightning in its dust.

“May the best mare win!

“In other news, the homeless ponies that have taken residence in the burned outskirts of the Everfree Forest have been forcibly moved to the abandoned FitPony Gym so that Smile can conduct their mysterious research on the forest. As you would expect, they’re not too happy about this change of setting.”

“I don’t want to move to the gym, and I don’t know anypony who does. They think they’re doing the right thing by giving us a “proper home,” but they ain’t doing shit. This place isn’t much better than the forest, and at least that had streams and gardens.”

“Oh, umm, I mean, ummmmm… no, I don’t wanna say anything. I don’t want anypony to get mad… Okay, if I won’t get in trouble… I, uh, wish I could see the bunnies again. That would be nice.”

“I resisted them, along with a few of my buddies. Do you know what they did? They socked me, right in the jaw. I’m telling you, they can’t keep treating us like this. We gotta stand up for ourselves one of these days. Mark my words, they’ll be sorry.”

“I just want this whole thing to be over. I’m just so tired of living like a Diamond Dog. I just want my old life, I don’t deserve any of this! If only they could stop moving ponies around as if that solves anything. Everypony here just wants another chance at life. Out of everypony here, I deserve another chance the most! But now, I just feel lost.”

“…That’s Rarity. I know that voice, and that’s her. Her shop closed, she got arrested, and now she’s living on the streets. I can’t believe this, she made my rain boots for me. I talked to her. I know her. Whatever, let’s just move on.

“Um, this move is only temporary, as S.M.I.L.E just needs to survey the forest for a week. Let’s hope they don’t find anything dangerous. Anyways, here’s a word from our police station.”


“The filly Scootaloo still has not been found. Please look for her. She must be returned to her family. It is imperative. If you find this filly, report to Ponyville police immediately. If you withhold any information regarding this filly and her location, there will be serious consequences. It’s important to make sure she does not leave this town. Find this filly. It is of the up-most importance. Thank you for your compliance.”


"Anyways, I’m afraid we don’t have any other news to report. What can I say, life’s boring sometimes. But we’re here to make it a little more exciting, and what’s more exciting than tales of Equestrian victory over the savagery of the Griffons? Not only is our guest an honorable air pony from the air force, but she's also a local hero here in Ponyville. Everypony still continues to talk about her flying prowess and feats of heroic courage. She's also known as quite the talker. Fillies and gentle colts, I am pleased to announce our interviewee, Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash, how are you on this fine day?"

"I’m fine."

"Great! The station is pleased to have someone as legendary as you here on our little show."

"It's no problem at all."

"Well, how about we get started with a couple of burning questions and see if we can’t get some answers?"

"Go right ahead."

"So, Rainbow Dash, what is it like over there? In the land of the Griffons?"

"Barren, I guess. Just a lot of desert. There’s not much to do there except walking and fighting."

"Now let’s talk about that fighting. Can you give our listeners a rough estimate of how many battles you’ve been involved in?"

"I don’t know. A few, I guess."

"Oh come on, don’t be modest now? Give me your best guess."

"I don’t know."

"…huh. Okay then, moving on. What was your final rank when you were discharged?"

"I was a Senior Airpony in the Pegasi Air Force in the 55th Scouting Squadron."

"Wow, I bet that’s impressive."

"It’s alright."

"Well, what I find even more impressive is our military’s near victory over the Griffons. Everypony in Equestria is on the edge of their seats waiting for our final victory can be announced. Can you tell us how close we are to ending the war?"

"I’m afraid I can’t publicly disclose that information."

Oh come on, that’s what everypony says. We’ve had enough secrets from S.M.I.L.E. You can’t just give us the tiniest piece of information? It would mean the world to all of us.

"I can’t."

"Alright then, fine. I guess you don’t want to get in trouble with the bigwigs. As I radio host, I can respect that.

"Any more questions?"

"Oooo, who’s asking the questions now, big tough military mare?"

"…"

"Um, I do want to ask you another question about the war, but I’m afraid you might take it the wrong way."

"Don’t worry about it. Ask away."

"Alright, so… I couldn't help but notice that scar you have on your right side."

"Where my wing used to be?"

"Um… yeah. Would you mind explaining its origins to our listeners? I’m sure it’s an enthralling story."

"I lost my right wing in the war. Do you need any other information?"

"Oh. Um, no, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to."

"They ambushed us. Used the cover of darkness to hide their positions. We didn’t see them coming at us until it was too late. They were smaller than us, but that didn’t matter. They were shooting us down like dogs. It must be terrifying, dying in the dark. You can’t even look your enemy in the eye as you fall. We traded shots for what could have been days. I don’t know if I hit any of them, but I pray that I sent a few of them straight to Tartarus. Anyways, after they picked enough of us apart, they began advancing. We were called to fall back, and that’s when I got hit… there’s no difference between getting wounded and dying. They both feel the same, the only difference is that sometimes, you wake up the next day. I tried to stay awake but… the pain was something I never experienced. Forced my eyes shut, and made my body go numb. What could you do, y’know? Arrow went right through my wing, and as I lay crumpled on the ground with my blood pooling beneath me, I knew I wouldn’t fly again. The last thing I remember was hearing their claws smacking against the ground and their hellish war cries. Still hear it sometimes, in the dark when I’m trying to sleep. I don’t know if I’ll ever unhear it."

“...I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash.”

“Don’t be. The important part is that we won. We regrouped and miraculously fought them back. Don’t know how we did that, but we did.”

“Oh! That’s incredible.”

“It was. I’m glad I could have served in a squadron like that. It makes all our sacrifices worth it if we can shove the enemies' beaks right up their asses. If I could, I would fight for the Air Force every day for the rest of my life. If everypony that died on the battlefield could talk one last time, they would say the same exact thing.”

“Well, I’m glad this story has a happy ending. For my final question, what are you going to do now that you’re back in the lovely little town of Ponyville?"

“I’m not sure. I was given a new home here, right over downtown. I’ll look for a job, presumably with the weather ponies since I have experience there. I don’t need to earn a lot of money, just enough to where I can get by. I’ve been flashy all my life, but now I’d prefer it if I could keep it to myself. I will admit though, that this town seems different than when I left. It’s… darker somehow.”

“Well, Rainbow, the war has hit us pretty hard. Not to mention the Dustgrass parasite that hit our crops a few years ago. We’ve been struggling, just like every other town and city in Equestria. But I think you’ll find there’s still a lot to love about this little town! Just come on over to the competition tomorrow at Sweet Apple Acres. The whole town’s going to be there, and you can observe the strong community we’ve all built with each other!”

“Will Ditsy be there?”

“What?”

“Nevermind. I’ll try to show up.”

“That’s the spirit! I’m afraid our time is up, but it’s been an absolute pleasure talking with somepony as noble as you!”

“The pleasure was all mine.”

“Alright everypony, hope you enjoyed that interview as much as I did! Before we get back to the music, here’s a word from our sponsor.”


“Hello everypony! My name is Carrot Top, and I’m just a simple carrot farmer in Ponyville. All of our products are handmade, and are filled with our special ingredient: love! Try our new Carrot Bread for a snack, or buy our naturally grown, delicious carrots that will get the whole family smiling at dinner! So come to our local stores and taste the best thing in Equestria.”


Alright, Ponyville, until next time, here is Broken Mare by Silver Mic. Enjoy, and long live Equestria.


I can see the pain in your eyes from miles away
You’ve sure been struggling to live these last few days
Tell me who, tell me who could have broken you down so bad?
I’ll help you out, baby girl, all because of what we used to have

You’re a Broken Mare
(Can I build you up, baby?)
Gave me a scare
(Can I build you up, baby?)
You look worse for wear
(Can I build you up, baby?)
Let me help you get through
All of the pain