> My Role To The Princess > by The Sleepless Beholder > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Anxiety > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Inkwell! Good to see you. Will you take the usual?” Tea Cup asks, smiling as he pokes his head out of the kitchen. “I’ll need it to be a bit stronger than usual, today will be a long night,” I tell him while cleaning my glasses. “And add two or three slices of cake.” “Oh, one of those nights,” Tea Cup says as he dives back into the kitchen. “I had hoped the return of her sister would end the long nights.” “They’ll probably never stop.”  I rub my eyes to keep them from staying shut. “I had hoped so too. Luckily, we still have you around. Your tea is her majesty’s favorite.” “I do my best so she can be at peace.” He says while finishing my order. “And she really appreciates it,” I say as my horn lights up and picks up the coffee and tea he offers me and a small tray with four slices of cake. “You don’t want a waiter to help you?” Tea Cup offers, as always. “I got it. Thank you.” I wave him goodbye before marching off towards Celestia’s bedroom. The castle's very quiet at this time of night with most, if not all, of the staff except the night guard going to bed to be ready for tomorrow. Celestia and I would be some of them, but the princess wouldn’t be able to rest yet. Not until she was sure Twilight was safe. I knock the door to Celestia’s bedroom out of politeness before entering, and I find her right where I expected her to be; looking out the window, with the same expression she had every time she looked at the face of her sister plastered on the moon. “I brought your tea, your majesty,” I inform her before placing the cup at her side, and silently add the plate full of cake. “Has it begun already?” “Not yet,” Celestia answers before lifting the cup with her magic. “Why did it have to be an Ursa?” “At least it isn’t a Major,” I tell her before sipping my coffee. “It shouldn’t be any kind of Ursa!” Celestia protests. “What’s even the lesson here?!” She crams one of the slices of cake into her mouth and chews anxiously. I remain as calm as I can. “I guess we’ll know when your student writes her report.” I watch as she eats another slice of cake, already reaching out for a third. “Shouldn’t the return of your sister prove that your visions are to be trusted?” Celestia shakes her head, almost disgusted with the question itself. “A thousand things could’ve gone wrong.” “But a thousand things went right,” I counter. “And while she still needs some time to fully recuperate, your sister's back at your side.” “She shouldn’t have ever been gone in the first place.” “You didn’t have visions back then.”   “How convenient!” She shouts, immediately sighing her anger away and slumping down. “I’m sorry.”  “Don’t worry, your majesty. I understand how difficult it is for you.” I assure her, offering the last slice of cake. Celestia’s head suddenly perks up, and she moves closer to the window. “It’s starting.” I could see all her muscles tensing, and made a mental note to squeeze some hours in the private spa for her tomorrow. “Please... Twilight… everypony... be safe.” I look out the window, but Ponyville is too far away for me to distinguish anything, so I’m forced to rely on Celestia’s reactions. I watch as her eyes focus fiercely on the distance, threatening to pop out at any moment. The marble windowsill starts to crack under her tense grip, and her wings are but a simple cry of pain away from extending and sending her straight into Ponyville. But she never does. She remains fixed to the ground, holding her breath, thinking a mile a minute, going through list after list of things that could go wrong, shortening her luckily long lifetime with anxiety, until finally... the danger passes. I quickly catch her as she practically deflates from her previous tension, but it’s a good sign. “I got you.” “Thank you, Raven,” she says before returning to her usual regal pose, albeit more disheveled than normal. “For always being here.” I smile, picking up the empty plate and mugs. “Thank you for letting me be here.” She copies my smile before taking the dishes from me and teleporting them to the kitchen. “It’s one of the best decisions I’ve made.” She looks back through the window, and her smile fades. “We should send some aid for the magician.” I sigh. “You know we can’t.” “You can't tell me that she’s destined to be homeless and starving,” she says angrily, but not directed at me. She’s still looking out the window. I shake my head. “We can’t interfere with what’s shown in your dreams unless it asks you to. Whatever’s giving you these visions must have a plan.” “If their plan is to make my ponies suffer, then they can-” Celestia stops herself for a second before looking away. “You know.” A giggle escapes my lips. “I share the sentiment. But it hasn’t betrayed us.” “Yet,” Celestia adds somberly. “It won’t.” “How can you be sure?” She asks, turning her head towards me.  “I’m not, but expecting everything to go wrong will kill you. And so will many things that will come in the future if Twilight isn’t ready to stop them.” I explain calmly, defusing the situation like many times before. “Your sister was just the first.” Celestia says nothing, staring out the window for some very long minutes. I wait right beside her. Eventually, she lets out a long sigh, and moves towards the bed. “I hope I won’t dream tonight.” “I’ll be here in the morning,” I say before going for the door. “Good night, Raven,” she says as she settles into bed. “And thank you.” “Good night, your majesty.” I close the door and move to the next room to the right, where my own bedroom resides. When I arrived at the castle, I was told this was once Sunset Shimmer’s room. They had cleared it out for me and what little things I had brought from Ponyville. It was a clear sign that Celestia had chosen me as her assistant for a reason. I always wonder if that reason came from a dream. Once I’m in bed, I fiddle with my little horn till I hear it detach from my skull and set it on my end table before going to sleep. > Guilt > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I wake up ten minutes before my alarm goes off, having the feeling that today would be difficult. Hopefully, it won't be related to Celestia’s visions. I rise from my bed and grab my horn, placing it against the small indent in my skull till I feel it click in place, sending a small electric shock down my spine as the magic activates. I test it by lifting my alarm clock and setting it off before putting on my glasses and tying my hair into its usual bun. After my morning routine, I walk out of my room and go over to Celestia’s, knocking softly despite knowing that she’s probably already up. “Come in,” she says me with a tone of voice that already tells me she had a bad vision. Stepping inside, I find her sitting in front of her desk, staring at a piece of parchment like if it had just insulted her sister. “You need to send her a letter again?” I ask as I get closer, hoping that it would be something simple like the ticket incident. “A dragon...” she answers, her hooves scratching the floor as her frown deepens. “I have to send them off to face a dragon.” I immediately ask myself the obvious questions; Why a dragon? What kind of lesson is this about? Why them?, but it would be useless to say them outloud. Celestia's already thinking about them right now. “Do we know specifics?” “The dragon resides in a mountain not far from Ponyville. Its snoring is sending smoke clouds that could cover all of Equestria for years.”  “That’s… wrong. Not even the Dragon Lord can produce that much smoke,” I say with a confused frown. “Yet that’s what I have to tell Twilight.” Celestia’s glare moves to the ink and quill beside the parchment. “Not only I can’t go myself, I have to lie to her.” Her head turns towards the bedroom window. “Why? Is feigning ignorance not enough?” “Twilight does have Fluttershy in her group of friends, she should make this ‘mission’ fairly easy. We don’t have much to worry about,” I say, trying to pull her away from those thoughts. “Fluttershy’s also scared of her own shadow,” Celestia remarks. “She could freeze, lose her voice, get sent back home, and then they would be defenseless against the dragon.” “Maybe that will be the lesson they learn from this,” I offer, moving closer to her. “Do they need to learn it by facing an adult dragon? Couldn’t it be something smaller?”  “Sadly, we don’t get to choose what teaches those lessons.” Celestia said nothing, still looking out the window, at the mountains near Ponyville. “I could be there.” “You can’t,” I remind her. She didn’t seem to hear me. “I know where the cave is. I can stand near it with a spell of invisibility and watch over them.” “No,” I say firmly. “You’ll interfere and ruin everything these visions have given you. The entire kingdom may suffer.” Celestia turns around, glaring at me with intense fury. “I’ve kept this kingdom in harmony for a thousand years! I can deal with the consequences!” “Like you did with Sunset?!” Suddenly, the princess extends her wings violently, creating an air current that threw away everything in the room that wasn’t nailed to the floor, and her eyes burn with pure anger. But I hold my ground and stare back, knowing that she would never harm me. We remain at a standstill for a few seconds, her chest heaving with every breath, until finally, the fire in her eyes fades, and she lowers her wings along with her head. “You’re right...” she says, her voice sad and tired. “I should know better.” I move her mane aside so she can see me smile. “We both know this isn’t easy.” She lifts her head till we’re at eye level, and her gaze worries me. “How’re you still here?” I tilt my head to the side. “What do you mean?” “Over the last thousand years, there have been at least a hundred ponies with the same task as you. All of them ended up leaving my side eventually, but you’ve remained as my assistant far longer than any of them.” I could see the hint of tears at the edges of her eyes. “How have you not grown tired of my endless complaints? Of reminding me the same things over and over again. Going out of your way for me despite the fact that I only bring you hardship.” “I would never leave you,” I say without hesitation. “I would never, even in a thousand years, consider letting you deal with all of this on your own.” Celestia slowly shooks her head, with a small smile on her lips. “You’re too good to be stuck here with me.” “Also… I really like the horn,” I joke, pointing at my head, and I smile when the princess laughs. “I should see that they add some more spells to it,” she offers me as she stands up. “I think levitation is enough for an Earth Pony,” I tell her with a smile before looking at the mess she had made of the bedroom, spotting the little ink jar spilled on the floor. “I’ll get you some more writing supplies.” Celestia looks at the ruined parchment on the floor with defeat. “Yes… I’ll need them.” I close the door to her room and move to her office, taking a little detour to ask Tea Cup to prepare a special breakfast for the princess. “You were right about Fluttershy,” I say before taking another bite off my muffin. “Yet they still succeeded.” “He attacked them,” Celestia retorts, shoving an entire slice of cake into her mouth. “They’re fine. Just a hard hit, nothing they couldn’t have suffered in their everyday lives.” She remains silent for a few long seconds, and then takes me by surprise with a question. “Why did he breath smoke instead of fire?” I struggle to find a quick answer. It was an odd occurrence. “Maybe he didn’t want to truly hurt them? Just scare them off?” Celestia didn’t seem convinced. “Do you think whatever’s giving me these visions is also influencing the events? The two colts finding an Ursa Minor without her mother nearby. The Elements activating in the nick of time. And the dragon happens to be relatively harmless despite being angered.” “I… I guess it’s a possibility.” I take a quick sip of my coffee. “Giving you visions would also count as influencing the events.” Celestia looks out the window of the dining room, watching the sunset in the horizon. “So, it isn’t helping me, just keeping me from interfering in its plans.” “Antagonizing it won’t bring anything good to us,” I say quickly to stop her from going down that path again. “I know.” She takes a sip of her tea, the herbs in it help to calm her down. “But I don’t trust it. It’s clearly using us for something.” “Apparently, but at least that something is beneficial for us.” After a few seconds of silence, Celestia stands up, using her magic to send her empty plate and cup to the kitchen. “I think I'll need some early rest today. I'll see you in the morning.” I nod. “Goodnight, your majesty.” > Scripted > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “So... how was the trip? Hit much traffic?” I ask, reading from the script and doing my best Twilight impression. Celestia just glares at nothing in particular, more grumpy than angry. “So... how was the trip? Hit much traffic?” I repeat a bit louder. “This is ridiculous.” “You’ve done it before,” I remind her. “It’s still ridiculous.” She finally looks at me, with a softer glare. “Do we really need to practice? I wrote the lines from memory.” “The vision was very specific this time, you can't mess up the words.” Celestia goes back to glare at nothing. “You know I won’t be able to forget the vision even after it passess.” I gently place my hoof against her leg. “Please, humor me.” She lets out a long sigh before turning to face me. Her horn glows with golden magic, and after a blinding flash of magic, I look exactly like Twilight. “Ah, what is this? Oh ho ho, these creatures are adorable,” she says with an innocent smile, an illusion of a parasprite landing on her wing before flying away. “I'm terribly honored that you and the good citizens of Ponyville have organized a parade in honor of my visit.” “Parade? Oh. Yes, the parade!” I exclaim, getting into character. “Unfortunately, that visit is going to have to wait for another time. I'm afraid an emergency has come up in Fillydelphia. Apparently there's been some sort of infestation.” Celestia kept smiling through the lie. “An... infestation?” “Yes, a swarm of incredibly bothersome creatures has invaded the poor town. I'm sorry Twilight, to have to put you all through so much trouble.” That last line sounded far more sincere than the rest. “Trouble? What trouble?” “Before I have to go, would you care to give me your latest report on the magic of friendship in person?”  “Your right eye it’s twitching,” I whisper. “My mane will cover it,” she whispers back. “My... report?” “Haven't you learned anything about friendship?” “Actually, I have. I-” “That’s enough practice,” Celestia interrupts me before walking to her chariot. “I can be honest from there.” “Very well.” The illusion on my body fades with another flash of magic. “I already made preparations for the reconstruction of Ponyville. They’ll start tomorrow morning.” “Thank you Raven.” She glances at the town over the horizon, taking a deep breath before looking back at me. “You could take the day off if you want.” I let out a small chuckle. “I doubt your schedule would survive.” “I’m supposed to be in Fillydelphia dealing with an urgent infestation.” I raise an eyebrow. “An infestation that doesn’t exist.” “That depends on your definition of ‘infestation’,” she says with a smirk. I do my best to resist, knowing that I would probably regret it later, but her smile is so genuine. “Okay, I’ll take a day off.” “Have a nice day.”  Celestia gives a command to the pegasus pulling her chariot and they lift off with her, flying towards Ponyville. Now I have to figure out what other ponies do on their days off. I guess a nap would be a good start. I make my way back to my room, but before I reach the door, I hear some light sobbing behind me. It’s coming from Luna’s room. I walk over to her door and give it a few knocks, but I get no answer. “Princess Luna?” The sobbing stops, and a ragged voice responds. “Yes?” “May I come in?” “Is it urgent?” “Yes.” A blue aura takes hold of the doorknob and opens the door for me. Luna is sitting on her bed, her face dry of tears, but her eyes are red. “What’s the emergency?” “You’re crying,” I answer as I move inside. Luna frowns at my words. “That’s not an emergency.” “Your sister would disagree.” I sit at her side, looking her in the eyes. “Did you have a bad dream?” “We don’t have bad dreams,” she answers rather defensively. “I would assume. It was your job to keep everypony away from bad dreams.” Luna’s eyes open wide for a moment. “You know about our work?” “Your sister told me some stories,” I say with a smile. “She paints a good picture of you.” She looks away from me. “An inaccurate one.”  “Why? Was she lying?” I ask, tilting my head to the side. “Are you secretly evil?” “We do not appreciate the joke,” she growls. “I wasn’t fully joking,” I admit. “Your interpretation of your sister’s emotions is what brought you to this day.” She still refuses to look at me. “We do not resent her anymore, if that’s what you’re implying.” “Then what are you feeling? What made you cry?” Luna doesn’t answer, but I can tell she’s thinking about it. “If you’re still feeling guilt about what happened to you-” “Happened to us?” she questions, glaring at me. “Nothing ‘happened’ to us. It was all our fault. We betrayed our sister. We became Nightmare Moon, We tried to destroy everything she and I worked for over a millenia!” I take a few moments to think of what to say next. It’s clear she won’t open up now, but maybe later she will.  I get an idea. “Are you good at telling if people are lying?” Luna looks at me, an eyebrow slightly raised. “We can tell. Why?” I move closer, looking her straight in the eyes. “I would like to hear your version of what happened millenia ago someday. Your perspective is valid, even after what you did.” Luan stares at me for a few long seconds, mulling over my proposition. “Maybe.” “You know where my room is,” I tell her before moving to the door. “And also, I know it’s difficult for you to be around your sister after what happened between you two, but I think you both need to talk about it.” Luna looks past me, to her sister's bedroom. “I’ll consider it.” “Thank you,” I say before closing the door, letting her go back to sleep. > Held Breath > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- There are some times when I hate my job.  Not because it’s difficult, or demanding, or time consuming, or because it could doom Equestria, but because it sometimes asks me to do something that just shouldn’t be happening. I don’t care how ‘safe’ this cloud-walking spell is, an Earth Pony shouldn’t be this high up! I merely glance down at the floor, the several kilometres away floor, and I already feel nauseous. The only thing stopping me from falling like a rock it’s a rather simple spell that makes clouds technically solid. I’ve no idea how that works, magic it’s honestly ridiculous at times.  I guess it’s better than getting a pair of wings stapled to my back.  The cheers of the crowd snap me back to the scene and I see the princess descend to her seat along with three of the Wonderbolts. Today’s vision had been a very nerve wracking one for the princess. It demanded that she stood perfectly still and let the day be saved at the literal last second while she had first row seats for the entire event. I’m starting to wonder if these visions are really just trying to push the princess to her limits. Celestia moves her head and quickly finds me amidst the crowd, sitting uncomfortably on the soft cloud, and she smiles, ever so faintly. Even though I hate being this high, I know that me being here calms her, even if just a little. I would gladly be at her side, but the vision showed only the Wonderbolts, and even them need to play their part in this. “So, this is your duty to my sister,” a voice whispers as a dark blue pegasus sits right beside me. “It is, although normally I’m at her side. And in the castle.” Her appearance surprises me, obviously, but she is aware of what is about to happen. I just hope she also restrains herself from interfering. “When did this start?”  “Apparently, since your imprisonment. The first vision was of your return in a thousand years.” Luna remains silent for a few seconds, looking at her sister as the competitors of the Young Fliers Competition did their tricks. “It must have been torture for her. She cares deeply about everypony under her rule.” “It was. Still is.” I turn to look at her, picking my words carefully. “What failed with you?” Luna doesn’t respond, she just maintains a neutral expression, so I leave it there for now. “We grew distant,” Luna suddenly says. “My duties with the dreams of our subjects meant that all of the actual ruling of the kingdom fell into her hooves.” She lets out a long sigh before continuing. “Each time we met, at least one of us was tired, either because of lack of sleep or prolonged sessions of bureaucracy. Our relationship withered with time, until there was a clear disconnect between us. So, when I fell, she was unable to reach me. To stop me from...” “From what?” I question, losing sight of the event. Luna doesn’t answer immediately, and her expression changes for a moment. She looks… confused. “I guess it’s good that we never found out.” “Yeah...” I can't help but feel like something’s off, but a scream calls our attention. As the vision showed, Rarity, The Element of Generosity, is falling from the sky, and gaining speed. The Wonderbolts jump down to catch her, but they’ve strict orders to fail on purpose. Another must save the day for the vision to be completed. I look up at Celestia, and I can see the desperation in her eyes. She wants to dive down after Rarity. Teleport her to safety. Inverse gravity. She has a myriad of options to save her in less than a second, but she has to stand and watch. “How do you stop her?” Luna asks me. “I just talk with her,” I say, hoping that she follows my example. “Usually just to remind her why she does it. What's at stake.” As we watch a rainbow blur save the day, the princess of the night gives me an offer. “If she’s ever too much to handle, don’t doubt in calling for my aid.” She turns to look at me. “What you do isn’t easy, and I’m incredibly grateful that you do.” I smile and give a small nod. “I really appreciate it. I know your sister will be happier knowing that you’re at her side in these difficult times.” Luna smiles, but she looks anything but happy. “I owe it to her.” As I walk over to my room so I can rest for tomorrow, a thought haunts me. Ever since my talk with Luna, the image of her confused expression when she tried to explain her goals as Nightmare Moon has returned to my mind along with questions. Questions that lead to more questions.  Questions that could offer an explanation to some things. But to be absolutely sure, I would need to ask. I stop and turn my head, looking at the door to Celestia’s bedroom.  But how could I ask her? How could I even approach the subject? How can I even suggest the theory that her sister’s fall into darkness wasn’t the catalyst for the visions, but the first step of this entity’s plan? Like it or not, it’s because of Nightmare Moon that Equestria has the Elements of Harmony again. But if this entity turned a loved one into an enemy, what’s stopping it from doing it again? What will be it’s limit? What is it planning? I shake my head and go to my room. Celestia already has enough stress on her as it is. Giving her these doubts will surely push her to do something drastic. Of course… there’s also the possibility that she already knows. > Joke > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “The losing feathers thing I get. But why does she get so fat?” Philomena looks at me from her perch with tired, unfocused eyes, letting out a cough. “Because since she gets to be reborn at the end of the week, she doesn’t need to take care of her weight, so she spends most of the time stuffing her beak till she can’t fly,” Celestia explains, glaring at the bird like a misbehaving child. “So, she gets a very long cheat day,” I say facing away from the phoenix. “Lucky bird.” Celestia looks at me, giving me a knowing smile. “I envy her too.” I neither confirm nor deny her statement. “How do you feel about today’s vision?” Celestia looks out the window, spotting Ponyville in the distance. “Honestly, I think I’ll enjoy this one. We all laugh at the end.” I nod with a smile. Seeing her not being an anxious mess is very refreshing. “I certainly would like for all your visions to end like that.” Celestia keeps looking at Ponyville for a few seconds before turning her head towards me. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?” “Your vision didn’t show me being there.” They never mention me in any way, which I’m thankful for. I don’t want to imagine what this thing would make me do. “You don’t need to be with me at the party. I’m sure there are many ponies in Ponyville that would like to see you again,” she offers me with a warm smile that shows how much she cares. I slowly shake my head. “My place is right here your majesty. Serving the kingdom and you, as assistant and friend.” Celestia’s expression turns to worry as a question pops into her mind. “When was the last time you left the castle?” I tap my hoof on my chin. “I believe that was during the Young Fliers Competition.” Celestia shakes her head. “That was because of a vision. And you were really nervous about being in the sky.” “Yes. And I wouldn’t like to repeat it.” “Let me be more specific. When was the last time you left the castle, and enjoyed yourself?” “I need to be here,” I remind her calmly. She doesn’t like that answer. “Inkwell, not even I spend all my time between these walls.” “Which is more reason for me to stay here. I swear, if you left for more than a day, the castle would be on fire.” Sadly, I’m not kidding. That could actually happen. “Inkwell.” Celestia lays herself on the floor to be closer to my eye level, which is impossible since her neck is taller than my entire body. “I already had to convince you to take half a day off. I appreciate all you do, but you can’t be my assistant all the time. You must have other things you want to do.” I take a deep breath before exhaling, suddenly feeling a lot more tired. “I enjoy my work, your majesty, I really do. It’s what I’m good at. And helping you deal with these visions is as important to me as for the rest of Equestria. This is all I want.” Celestia shakes her head. “No Raven. It isn’t.” She takes a long, deep breath before rising up. “My dependence on your aid may have convinced you of it, but I know you’ve more things to look forward to.” I don't answer. I know insisting won't change her mind. Her caring can make her incredibly stubborn. And if she's right… Celestia places a wing over my shoulders. "Please think about it while I'm gone." I slowly nod. "I'll." “I’m technically out of the castle.” I tell myself as I drink my coffee in the middle of the castle’s gardens, enjoying the silence only interrupted by the chirping of birds and nearby whistling. “I’ve to admit, it’s quite relaxing.” Letting out a sigh, I look up at the sky. Celestia’s words keep running around my mind. “Was she right?” “Talking to yourself isn’t very healthy. I would recommend whistling instead.” “Is that your way of telling me to keep the noise down?” I ask, turning my head towards the castle’s only gardener. “Nah, I like the company.” Greenhooves walks up to me, setting his rake next to the stone bench I’m sitting on. “What’s weeding your thoughts?” “Celestia thinks that she depends on me.” I take another sip of my coffee. “Celestia thinks that I’m not happy with my job.” Greenhooves scratches his long chin beard. “Everypony knows that you love your job, Ink. Celestia more than anypony. Why are you worried that she thinks this way?” “I know she does, she told me herself. And what worries me is that I don’t want her to think that I’m helping her out of obligation, or that she’s inconveniencing me in some way.” Geenhooves chewed his words before saying them. “So, she thinks you’re overworking yourself for her sake. Which, knowing you, is probably true.”  I roll my eyes. “I’m not a workaholic. I sleep well, drink a safe amount of coffee, do things on time-” “And how much time of your day does it take to do your job?” I try to come up with an answer that doesn't shatter my previous statement, but my brain doesn’t give me any. “Point taken.” “Why don’t you just take a day off? It’ll ease her mind and give you some respite. I also love my job, but it isn’t as stressful as yours.” I look down at the grass, holding my mug a bit more tightly. “Because I need to do my job. Things may fall apart if I’m not helping her keep everything together.” Greenhooves gives his beard another scratch. “Is that what’s keeping you here? Instead of leaving like all of those before you?” “Of course not.” I throw away what little is left of my coffee. “I’m staying because I like my job and I don’t want to leave Celestia alone to deal with everything on her own.” “Well, as somepony who has been around longer than you, let me tell you that your worries are unfounded. She has ruled for far longer than any other. She knows how to run a country even if you aren’t there. She needs you for more personal reasons.” He stands back up and grabs his rake. “And after some time, she won’t need you for that either. Times change, and we need to adapt to them. You won’t be her assistant forever, so try and enjoy the position while you can. For your sake and hers.” Greenhooves walks away and I just look at my empty mug.  Celestia needs my help for her visions. They’re what keeps her from ruling the kingdom properly. I’m the one keeping balance between the three. Once they stop, I can take my break. Just need to wait for Twilight's ascencion. > Playfulness > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “I’m not really sure about this,” I say as I look at the large mirror in front of me. “Are you talking about the dress or the Gala?” Splendour asked, waiting patiently for me to stop running circles like an idiot. “I would never question your fashion sense.” It could be considered a crime if I did. Splendour could make the most brutish of dragons look like royalty with just a dress or suit. That was her talent. Make the perfect attire you could ask for, no matter the occasion. She has dressed everypony of note, so I knew she was the perfect choice when I found out I needed to attend the Gala. "With your colors and demeanor I think a vintage look, that is pretty but not too flashy, would be best," she had told me with a warm smile when I met her for the consultation and measurements in her boutique. "Emerald green silk and a matching pillbox hat would be lovely on you, and looks that harken back to times past are very much in vogue right now!" she had assured me. And indeed, she had come up with a beautiful but simple dress that ─Thank Celestia─ didn't have any of the glitter and ruffles I was dreading. But she did surprise me by also bringing some costume jewelry and a pair of winged glasses. "It is a Gala, and a bit of glimmer never hurt anypony," she told me with a wink, "And if you'll allow me, I think I'd like to curl and style your mane up to show your pretty face and eyes a bit more." And she was right. The dress is perfect for me. But still... “Miss Raven,” Splendour said, placing a hoof over my shoulder to stop my useless movements. “If you would allow me a suggestion. Could you maybe breathe for a moment?” I take a deep breath, holding the air in for a few seconds before letting it out. “Thank you.” “May I ask why you’re so nervous about the Gala? I’m sure your line of work demands more than this event.” “Honestly, I prefer the paperwork.” “Does the Canterlot elite scare you?” “No. I don’t mind them talking my ear off.” “Then what is it dear? You won’t be comfortable in any dress unless you’re comfortable with yourself.” “I just… it doesn’t feel natural to me. No pony in my family is really fond of parties. And we lived in the same town as Pinkie Pie! Dressing up and being around others. Having to smile and pretend I know what they’re talking about half the time. It feels… insincere. Like I’m obliged to ‘have fun’.”   “Does it really matter? The party will be a mess at the end,” Blueblood said from the other side of the changing room, glaring at his reflection in the mirror as he tied his bow. “You don’t know that,” I say looking nervously at Splendour. The stallion finished the knot angrily. “At least you won’t need to make a fool of yourself because Celestia had a stupid premonition.” “Blueblood!” I shout, but Splendour waves it off. “Oh, don’t worry, dear. My lips are sealed.” I sigh, shaking my head. “Look, I know it’ll be unpleasant, but it’s necessary… for some reason. The Element of Generosity can’t marry you and move away from all her friends.” “Couldn’t I just reject her if that was the case? I’m not interested in the mare anyways. There’s no need to make me the public enemy of everypony.” I roll my eyes. “It’s not like they’ll call you a monster or anything.” Blueblood scoffs. “A monster at least would get some respect. A jerk is just...” he shudders, unable to continue. Honestly, I would pity him more if he wasn’t a bit of a phallus already. “What Blueblood is unhelpfully trying to get across,” Splendour says. “Is that at the end of the day, it’s just a party. And if you ask me, even if you’re obliged to attend, it doesn’t mean you can’t have fun for a while.” I sigh, looking away from her.“I’m not really obliged to attend. It’s just… you know… socially appropriate.” “Tell that to Luna,” Blueblood spat. “What do you mean?” I ask, turning my head towards him. “She can’t attend.” “Yeah, but not because of some vision. She locked herself in her room at the mere mention of the Gala.” I grit my teeth and turn toward Splendour. “I promise I’ll wear it in the next Gala.” The mare gives me a smile. “Do not worry, dear. This sounds more important.” I leave the changing room, heading towards Luna’s bedroom. “How did I not see this coming?” I gently knock on the door of Luna's bedroom. "Princess?" "There's no emergency this time, Raven," comes the response from the inside. To her credit, I don't hear sobbing, but that doesn't mean that everything's right. "Can I come in?" "Aren't you going to miss the Gala?" "I'm not really made for it. I would prefer to be here with you." There's no response, but I wait for one. I know Luna wants to talk as much as I do. Eventually, she asks me. "Why?" "Because I don't want you to be alone like this." I move closer to the door, placing a hoof against it. "I can understand if you don't feel like talking, but you already spent too much time in isolation." There's no response again, but after just a few seconds, the door unlocks and I'm allowed to enter. Luna's sitting in front of the window of her room, looking at the moon in a similar way to her sister. "What do you mean that you aren’t made for the Gala? Do you not like the occasion?” She asks me as I sit down next to her. “It’s not the Gala in particular. I’m just not accustomed to these kinds of events.” Luna takes a deep breath before releasing it. “It was my idea, you know?” I tilt my head towards her. “The Gala?” She nods. “I wanted an event set at night. Where our subjects and other emissaries could go to the gardens of our castle and look at the night sky. I always made an extra effort for the night to be clear and beautiful that day.” “And how did it go?”  “Celestia hated it,” she says with a chuckle. “I only got her to agree after promising to be the one dealing with the guests while she rested. The last thing she wanted after a day of bureaucracy was to deal with the nobility again. I think she was exaggerating. Sure, some would be too classy to be any fun, but others were pleasant and would even cheer and dance after a few drinks. I remember one of the emissaries from Yakyakistan brought a few bottles of some homemade ale to the party once. That was a night to remember, even if most of us couldn’t.” Luna smiled and laughed, lost in the memories of the past. I don’t think I’ve seen her so happy before. “That sounds much more interesting than the Galas of this time. Maybe you could add some more fun to them?” I suggested with a smile. Luna leans on the windowsill, looking down at the gardens where some of the guests of the event were walking around and chatting. None of them watching the night sky. “I would love to. But it’s Tia’s event now. It has been for a thousand years.” She turns her head to the side, looking at the castle. “A lot of things have changed. Our home is destroyed. We live on a mountain. The yaks closed their borders. The griffons live in ruins. There are cities made out of dustrock and steel. And Tia’s the reason for all of it. She has carried the kingdom on her shoulders for a millennia while we sat on the moon learning nothing.” She looks back at the moon, it’s light reflecting off the tears in her eyes. “Everything that defined me is gone. I don’t have a place to fit in. Even this room that Tia tried her best to make it feel like my old bedroom is just a memory of what I lost. If my sister can do everything I could before, is there even a point to me being here?” I grab her shoulder and lightly pull on it, getting her to look in my direction. “Well, considering the Gala is now one of the most boring events in Canterlot, I would say she failed in that aspect.” Luna tries to hold down a chuckle at that. “Your sister needs you. She has needed you since the day of your banishment. And not because you do half of her job.” She shakes her head. “I get what you mean, but I find it hard to believe. We pushed her into that situation with our actions. We’re the reason she had to take the full weight of the rulership.” “Try to think about it this way; How much can you two accomplish now that you’re together? Nightmares have run rampant since your banishment. Celestia’s sanity is recovering now that you’re here and safe. You clearly had more fun dealing with things that your sister still to this day finds appalling. Do you know what was this day's vision? That your sister was 100% on board with?” “Is she going to crash the party?” she asks with a bit of a smirk. “The Elements will, but she’ll enjoy it nonetheless. They even have donuts at the end.” Luna couldn’t stop herself from laughing. “Oh, I’m sure Tia will have a blast with that.” She looks out the window once again, but this time not at the moon or the city, but the horizon.  Thinking. After a while, she turns to me, looking much better than before. “That dress looks lovely on you.” “Thank you,” I say with a little bow. “Sadly, I don’t think I’ll attend the Gala.” “Well, since we both have a free night,” Luna says as she stands up. “How about we spend it together?” I smile. “What do you have in mind?” As Twilight and her friends entered the donuts shop, Pony Joe greeted the purple unicorn he hadn’t seen in a long time. “Twilight Sparkle, ha ha! Long time no see.”  Twilight would have responded to the greeting, but her brain did a stop when she saw Princess Luna and a well dressed earth pony mare eating donuts along with Spike. “Welcome Sparkle, how was the Gala?” Luna asked, wiping sprinkles from her lips. > Uselessness > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “So… Vision-thing got mad at us for having donuts with Sparkle?” Luna asks, currently magically glued to her bed. “Well, Discord’s on the loose, so we can't be sure,” I try to say, but I can’t move my mouth. When I entered the room to check on Luna after the chaos magic started affecting the castle, my entire body turned into complex clockwork, and I'm having trouble figuring out how to move or talk. I'm not even sure if I can breathe. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re both working in tandem,” Celestia says with a scowl, drinking tea next to her sister. She’s taking things a lot better than I expected. “Are you sure this’ll be temporary?” Luna asks, pointing at me with her eyes. Celestia nods. “Once Discord’s defeated, all of his magic will vanish, and everything will return to normal.” “You seem rather calm considering Sparkle is facing Discord right now,” Luna points out. “As much of a threat Discord is, I know hurting others isn’t amusing for him. At least not physically.” “That’s certainly reassuring,” I think, still trying to figure out how to move my jaw. "So, how have you been, sister?" Celestia sips her tea. "As busy as always. Keeping things together with Raven's help." Luna smiles playfully. "I see some things never change." "Oh, I wish they did. Between bureaucracy and the visions, I can feel the life being sucked out of me. I could do with a vacation." "Well, as soon as I'm not stuck to the bed, I can help with some of it," Luna offers. Celestia chuckles. "There's no need sister. Just you being here is all the help I need." Luna frowns at the words. "Sister, may I remind you that while I'm the youngest of us, I'm not a child." Celestia rolls her eyes. "Oh, don't be dramatic, Lulu. I'm just saying that you're already helping me in your own way." Luna glances at me, still frowning. "I've been told that. But I must insist, sister. The kingdom will surely be better with both rulers guiding them." Celestia takes another sip of tea before setting it down. "Luna, you're still recovering from your exile, and there's a lot of things for you to catch up on. Do you even want to stay in the castle? Wouldn't it be better for you to just go see the world that-" "Thou shall not patronize me, sister!" Luna shouts in the royal Canterlot voice. "We're disconnected from this era, but we're not illiterate. The labors of ruling don't change over time and neither does your resistance to the strain of it. We will help you, like it or not, so don't try to rid yourself of us!" "Getting rid of you? Why in Harmony's name would I do that to you?!" Shouts Celestia, pressing a hoof against her chest as if the accusation had physically stabbed her. "That's what I would like to know. Why do you keep me as far away from your problems and struggles? Do you intend to carry the burden of our kingdom for eternity?" "'Carrying that burden is not easy, Luna! You're not prepared to handle all of it at once!" "Not prepared? The kingdom's in peace! How is this a worse moment to rule than a thousand years ago?!" "You just came back! I don't want to lose you again!" Luna’s eyes widened, her anger vanishing for a moment. "What?" Celestia moved closer to her sister. Tears falling down her cheeks. “Ruling together pulled us apart. We became co-rulers instead of sisters. And that led you to become a Nightmare.” Luna was about to protest, but her sister placed a hoof above hers, silencing her words. “You’re right. Ruling alone has been difficult. But I can do it.” “Tia… you can't ask me to watch you wither and die holding everything together,” Luna pleads. Not with anger, but with worry. Celestia shakes her head. “I won’t ask you for that. But I do need a few more years. After that, you and I can move on from all this and just be sisters again.” “What do you have in mind Tia?” “Do you remember Stars Swirl’s spell?” Luna opened her mouth to respond, but no voice came out as her mind pieced together what her sister was planning. “Are you sure she will-” “Not now. But soon. One step at a time.” “Tia... that’s still a lot to put on a pony of her age.” “I won’t just throw it on to her. I’ll make sure she’s ready.” Luna turns away from her sister and looks at me. I don’t know if she’s looking for support, advice, or just checking if I could hear what they were talking about. “And what would be my role in this plan? I won’t just leave the castle without you. Not for long at least.” Despite being glued to the bed, Luna did her best to grab Celestia’s hoof. “It... scares me a bit... With how different everything is now.” “The Dream Realm is still in need of its protector. That’s something that will never change. Not even I can touch it.” Luna didn't look happy with the proposal. “So, we’re separated again. Day and night.” Celestia places her other hoof on Luna’s. “That will be the only barrier between us. I promise.” Luna took a deep breath, mulling over her sister’s words. “Okay. I’ll return to the night then.” “I’ll be just for a few years. I promise.” “You already said that.” I would be laughing if I could move my mouth. “You didn’t want me to interrupt this moment, did you? Now, you have both of them under your control.” Celestia was right. This thing is moving us to some goal. We need to discover what it is. Maybe then- “To have Equestria, and the lands surrounding it, united in harmony.” I hear in the back of my mind, and despite being made of metal, I definitely feel a shiver run down my spine. > Pointless > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I guess our little vacation from dumb visions is officially over," Celestia says, looking out the window as she always does. "At least this one's something minor. Still, I don't get why establish a weekly letter system only to throw it away later." Why, indeed. What would be its purpose? A form of control? Some sort of reward system? “I just hope that we can at least guess what she's learning from these experiences.” Is that it? An indoctrination of Equestria’s greatest mage and head of the Elements of Harmony? "Raven?" I snap out of my thoughts, shaking my head. "Sorry, I was… what did you say?" "Are you okay?" She asks, leaving the window to move closer to me. "Yes. It's just… I'm..." I stammer uselessly. Celestia lowers her head, concern clear in her eyes. "Are you sad that Greenhooves left?" Oh... yeah… I almost forgot. "A bit…" I raise my head, looking at the princess' eyes. "Can I have the day off?" Celestia’s motherly side immediately takes over, and I see her wings moving instinctively, getting ready to hug me in case I need it. "Of course, Raven. Take all the time you need." I give her the best smile I can muster, trying to ease her nerves. "Thank you." The princess places a wing on my shoulder. "If you feel like you need to talk about it, I'm always willing to listen. Luna will help you too. I've noticed you two getting closer lately." "I'll keep it in mind." I give her a smile and leave the room, hoping that she will be okay without me for a while. I’m not going to be of much help anyway.  Needing time to think, I make my way to the gardens, the only place I know has some peace for me.  At least I hope it still has. As I move through the hallways of the castle, my ears are kept raised, waiting to hear that voice again, coming from nowhere. But I only get silence, and I don't know if that's good or bad. I’m starting to question if I even heard a voice in the first place. It might have just been Discord’s magic or my own paranoia. Things would be easier if I hadn’t heard it. Maybe I wasn’t meant to hear it? When I arrive at the gardens, I sit down in my usual spot in the middle of it, trying to clear my head, but everything’s too quiet. The garden's animals are still scared after Discord’s magic messed with them, so there are no birds singing, or soft steps in the grass, or the usual chittering. There isn’t even any whistling. I never expected to miss whistling.  I never expected to miss Greenhooves. We weren't exactly friends, nor really connected or anything, but him leaving just felt… wrong for some reason. I guess I just assumed that he would be staying here till his last day. But I don't blame him. Tending to the gardens is one thing, having the gardens turn on you due to chaos magic is another. "There's always time to change your life for the better." He said to me before leaving, and that just got stuck in the back of my head. But what change can I do? I can’t just leave Celestia’s side. Especially now that I know there’s something going on. I'm as trapped in this as she is.  Can I maybe find out what's exactly behind the visions? Make a more clear deal between it and Celestia? How much does it know about us? "Can you hear me?" I say looking at the sky. "Can we talk? Can you give me a vision tonight?" I wait a few minutes, but there's no answer. "How can I trust you?" I keep waiting, but I get nothing. I grit my teeth, frowning with frustration.  "Why should I play along with your plan if you don't show your face?!" I scream to the heavens, standing up, ready to face this thing if it finally decides to present itself. "If you don't give me answers, I'll just leave. You won't have me stopping Celestia from disobeying your visions! Maybe I'll just confirm her suspicions about you. I'm sure she won't listen to a word of those visions after that!" Still nothing. Does it not care? Does it have such control over our lives that even our opinions are irrelevant? Is she going to wipe my memories away? Why hasn’t it done that already? Is this also part of her plan? How is it... “You told me what you wanted, but how are you sure that what you’re doing is the right way to achieve it? Wouldn’t it be better to work together?!” I wait for an answer. And wait. And wait. A growl escapes my clenched teeth. “Fine. Keep your plans to yourself. But I-” “I guess it’s for the best that I show you.” Despite waiting for it, I can help but shiver as the words enter my mind. “Show me what?” “My own vision of the future.” > Secret > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Sorry if it’s a bit simple, I wasn’t expecting you to come all the way from Canterlot,” mom apologizes, holding back her excitement from seeing me again after years. Has it really been so long? “Don’t worry, I like it.” It was a simple dark-red cape and a bright red demon tail and horns, but it was more than what I expected to get when coming unannounced. “How have you been? I know that having the heroes of Equestria living in town has made life a lot more interesting.” And dangerous. “Oh, nothing I can't handle,” she assures me with a smile that lets a little bit of her nervousness slip out. “However, I need a new filing system for the town’s records. Could you maybe help me with that tomorrow?” A small chuckle escapes my lips. “You can just ask me to stay a few more days.” Mom immediately recoils. “Oh, I would never do that! I know that you’ve very important matters to attend back in Canterlot.”  I turn around to see her, doing my best to be calming.“The princess says that the most important matter is always family. She’ll understand if I stay for a little longer.” Mom struggles to decide if she should keep denying our extended company or be happy that she gets to keep me for a while, so I help her decide with a hug. She immediately hugs me back, a bit too strongly, but I don’t mind. “I just missed you a lot,” she says, tightening the hug.  “I know. I’ll try to come more often,” I promise. “And hopefully when I'm not in the middle of a vision.”  After a few more seconds, we let go of each other and walk out of the house, finding the Nightmare Night celebration in full effect. Seeing everyone in costume, laughing and playing games had me smiling instantly. A few memories of past Nightmare Night's moving to the front of my mind as mom talks. "This year we have throwing spiders, bobbing-for-apples, music, and Zecora agreed to tell the children the story of Nightmare Moon at the statue. She's very excited about it now that ponies aren't scared of her." "I wish I could say the same of Luna."  "Oh! And we got your favorite; pumpkin catapult!" Mom shouts excitedly, but then backs it up a bit. "Of course, you were a filly back then so if you-" "I still enjoy it, mom," I say with a chuckle that makes her smile.  "I'm happy to hear it. I'm sure this'll be the best Nightmare Night!" "Not exactly…" I think to myself. "It probably would've been if I hadn't lied. But this needs to happen… speaking of." "Don't you dare Rainbow!" I shout, and the blue pegasus in a Shadowbolt costume freezes right before she could kick the stormcloud above our heads. “Awww, how did you know?!” Rainbow protests, sulking at her ruined prank. “Deal with the devil,” I say with a wink, moving the red rubber tail behind me. “Whatever, there’s more ponies to prank.”  I watch the pegasus fly away, and I notice Pinkie Pie walking around with some fillies, going through the houses and asking for candy. The child part of me wants to join them, maybe steal a few candies for myself to remember how they taste. I remember loving Pearl's candies the most. It's sad that he left like that. Speaking of, I wonder if Greenhooves is around here somewhere. Maybe staying up late is too much for him, but I should be able to see him again in the morning. “I should go make the announcement, would you like to join me?” mom asks with a hopeful glint in her eyes. “I… I think I prefer looking from the crowd,” I lie, and luckily mom seems to buy it. “Of course, do as you wish,” she gives me a not very quick hug before departing to the stage, and once I’m alone, I let out a long sigh. “I’ve to give Celestia more credit for keeping it together every time.”  “I hope she forgives me for doing this to her sister.” “I hope Luna forgives me.” “Madame Mayor, thy Princess of the Night hath arrived,” Luna announces to my mother, offering her hoof to her, but she’s too scared to react. Luna’s understandably confused. She thinks her arrival to Ponyville was announced. That my mother and others were told about the old traditions. But I never delivered that message. The princess of the night turns to me, the seeds of suspicion already planted in her mind. She offers me her hoof, but I just pretend to cower in fear. “What is the matter with you?” she questions, a hint of betrayal underlining her words. “I’m sorry. Please. Just play along. Everything will work out at the end.” I beg inside my head. “Very well, then. Be that way. We won't even bother with the traditional royal farewell,” Luna announces before walking away, her hopes for a new Nightmare Night momentarily crushed. “I hope you can help her,” I whisper as I watch Twilight Sparkle going after Luna. “What should we do?” Mom asks, taking me by surprise. “I know Luna isn’t Nightmare Moon anymore, but she seems...” “She’s just a bit intense.” I manage to maintain the words inside my head, as hard as it is. I really really don’t give Celestia enough credit. “I don’t know. I’ll send word to Celestia, maybe she knows what’s going on.” Mom looks at me with an expression of doubt I never thought I would see on her. She’s… scared. The same kind of scared Celestia shows with the visions. “Okay… if you think that’s best.” I only manage to nod as a response, and then just… run away. I think I get it now, princess. Everything turned out as predicted. Nightmare Night was saved, Luna was accepted by the community of Ponyville, and Sparkle learned a friendship lesson. Everyone won at the end. That did little to quell the anger of the blue alicorn in front of me. “So, Vision-thing chose me this time,” Luna said, the irritation dripping from her voice betraying the calm expression she was trying to maintain. “Not exactly," I say, looking for the best words to explain the situation. "This thing doesn't... choose." Luna slowly raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" "It's also following instructions, just like us, the difference is that it had only one vision, of a future very far from now. Everything it does is to make sure that vision becomes reality." "And I would assume Sparkle's lessons are the key to this future?" "Yes. She was at the center of it." I pause, remembering the image of her older self, looking just like Celestia. “Along with her friends.” Luna didn’t seem convinced, and I don’t blame her. "How are you sure of this? Did it show you this vision too?" "Yes. It didn't show me everything, just enough to almost convince me to help." "Almost?" I nod. "Even if it said that it just made sure things happened, I still suspected that it had some influence. So, I decided to test it." Luna's eyes became fierce. "That's why you didn't mention to your mother of my arrival?" "...Yes. I wanted to see if things would really play out on their own.” I still had to lie, but things got resolved by Sparkle without any interference. “I'm sorry for ruining your first impression." Luna looked like she was about to discharge all her anger on me at any moment, but after a few seconds of tense silence, she closed her eyes with a growl. "If it was really meant to happen, I guess I can take the hit for a better future." And here comes the hardest part of the night. "About that… There's one more thing I wanted to do to confirm my theory. To make sure that these incidents would happen even without its influence." Luna’s eye twitches, her patience was clearly running thin by now. "Can I be aware of it this time?" "It's just a question I need you to answer honestly." I slowly raise my head, looking her in the eyes. "Luna… did you create a Tantabus?"