Not Snow Nor Hail
Derpy pranced down the dusty Ponyville road, humming a joyful little song to herself while her mailbag bounced along with her, providing the beat. The sun was shining bright, almost painfully so, and she was loving the warming rays on her folded wings. It would have been the perfect day to relax and enjoy the weather, but of course, the mail always had to be delivered, and so here she was.
It was not an unnoticed fact by the mare that—despite how lovely it was outside—there didn’t appear to be a single pony in sight. The parks were empty, and the benches and swings sat solemnly, forgotten, and quiet. The market square was abandoned; buckets of apples and carrots sat unwatched underneath stalls of expensive gems and fabrics. Even the gazebo, which was usually populated by at least one set of star-crossed lovers, lay empty with nary a sweet nothing being whispered within.
She was not oblivious to this at all, but she paid it no attention. It wasn’t like she didn’t know why the town was apparently abandoned. It didn’t change the fact that she was a mailpony, and had a job to do.
Bringing her hum up into a whistle, she hopped over a fence and stepped up to the next house on her list and brought a hoof up, knocking hard.
There was a commotion within, and she waited patiently while it played itself out, and then waited patiently again while an awkward silence replaced the scuffle. Finally the door opened, and a very concerned looking Vinyl Scratch stuck her head out at Derpy.
“Uh… Hello?” she said, blinking her bright red eyes. A light gust of wind picked up then, pushing the door open further to reveal Octavia in the background, hanging from the ceiling from multiple wires and cords with her hooves resting on an electric keyboard. She was wearing Vinyl’s sunglasses, and upon glancing at Derpy gave a slight nod of curious recognition.
“Package!” Derpy announced cheerfully, and she rummaged in the mail sack before pulling out a simple looking box and thrusting it towards the confused unicorn.
“Wh… why?”
“Because someone sent it to you, I suppose! There you are,” she said, setting it down on the floor because Vinyl had continued to gape. “Have a good day,” she added, turning around and continuing down the walk.
“W-wait!”
Derpy paused mid-stride.
“You know that… the—”
“Yep!” she said, flaring her wings and hopping up into the air. “Still got mail, though! Have a good day,” she said again, waving while she glided down the road to the next house.
“Vinyl, dear,” Octavia’s voice came from within. “Stop worrying about her. Come back here and show me what an arpeggiator is.”
The blazing sun couldn’t have lasted all day, Derpy accepted. She didn’t expect it to fade quite as fast as it did, however, so the bounce in her step had deprecated a slight amount by the time she made it to the next location; Sweet Apple Acres. There was a consistent shadow across the ground now which kept the warming sunbeams from reaching the mailmare’s feathers, and she hummed loudly to herself to make up for it.
She walked up to the small porch in the barn and knocked, then waited patiently.
From within there came no commotion, and Derpy frowned. This particular package was marked perishable, so she didn’t want to leave a notice and have to bring it back the next day. She kicked off into the air and circled the quiet farmstead, gazing out in two different directions and listening in two others. From the east she picked up the sound of laughter and banked towards it, smiling.
She landed rough, tumbling into a convenient pile of hay next to one of the large storage sheds. A quick flip and a cleansing flutter of feathers had her feeling fresh, and she trotted happily around to the door, and knocked hard before waiting patiently.
From within there was the sound of a sudden commotion which just as suddenly stopped. Once again she waited through the awkward silence, before the shed door opened—just a crack, this time, and a mare stuck her head out.
It was Rainbow Dash, Derpy recognized, though she almost misidentified her by the large stetson that covered the rainbow mane. They locked eyes, and after a long moment of mutual blank stares, Dash blinked.
“Hi…?”
“Hello! Is Applejack here?”
Rainbow Dash pulled her head back into the shed and there was a brief exchange of words within. A moment later, Applejack stuck her head out, her ponytail let loose and uncovered yet filled with cyan feathers.
“Uhm. Hiya, Derpy. We were, uh, a little busy…”
“Package!” Derpy announced with gusto, before dipping a wing into the mailsack and flipping a long paper-wrapped parcel out from it. She turned a little, offering the mail out on the wing like a waitress in a fancy restaurant would hold a tray.
Applejack reached hesitantly out and grabbed it, not breaking her gaze from the grey pegasus.
“I uh, I wasn’t expecting this,” she said, more to herself than Derpy.
“Not sure why you wouldn’t, it’s mail day!”
Applejack and Rainbow Dash turned and looked at each other, and then back to the beaming pony. “...Right,” Applejack replied, “But it’s just, you know… you know that… well, you know about how…?” She didn’t finish the sentence, too confused to really say the words.
“Yup!” Derpy said, nodding vigorously. “But there’s mail to go out! Anyways, have a nice day!”
She turned around and took off into the sky, picking up her humming again as she went, all along while Dash and Applejack stared slackjaw at her.
A small droplet of grey and white fell from the dim sky, breaking the two out of the incredulous stupor. Dash stuck a hoof out and caught another one of the droplets, staring at the television-static liquid with a frown.
“Right!” she said suddenly, before tackling Applejack back into the shed.
The static had started raining hard, and Derpy didn’t like how it made her feathers numb, but she carried on. Luckily there was only one stop left on her route, anyways, and so she cantered down the road directly to it, forgetting her song for just a moment.
The Castle of Friendship loomed in front of her, and as she approached it she slowed her gait down to a trot and started whistling. It was a song she knew from childhood, one whose words had long been lost but the melody remained all the same, and the familiar comfort helped her ignore the disturbing sense of having no wings. She reached the door and reaffixed her encouraging smile, happy that the balcony overhead stopped the static from reaching her.
She knocked hard and heard the echoes of her horseshoes reverberate through the crystal castle. There was no commotion within, but she didn’t expect one this time, and waited patiently all the same.
It took several minutes but finally the large gate creaked open, and Twilight Sparkle poked her head out. She was frowning, the crease in her brow set not of anger nor confusion but worry, concern.
“Derpy? What are you doing? Don’t you know—”
“Package!” Derpy announced, but she didn’t grab it from the mailbag while she did so. Instead she genuflected, though continued bobbing slightly to the tune stuck in her head.
“...Oh. Really? I didn’t think it would come today.”
“That’s okay,” Derpy said, rising from her position while sliding the mailbag off her back and onto the floor. “Nopony thought I would come today, but I don’t know why! The mail always comes through.” She dived into the bag with her head and came out with a rectangular package in her muzzle, and proffered it to the princess.
“Oh! My book on fourth-wall-dimensional physics. That’s wonderful, thank you for delivering it. Not that, uh,” Twilight paused, looking outside. The static was coming down in sheets now, rendering much the world beyond unrecognizable. It coated every surface it touched, obscuring it with a blurry shimmer of white and grey that she couldn’t focus on, and Twilight gulped. “Not that it’s really helpful any more, I suppose.”
“Oh, did you want to return it?” Derpy shivered despite her efforts, glancing behind her at the end of the world. “I can try and take it back if you’d like.”
“Er, uh, no, that’s fine.”
They stood there in silence, listening as the static increased in volume, looking at each other. Twilight squinted her eyes, examining Derpy carefully. Derpy simply hummed, but the melody had gotten shaky, and the brightness in her eyes had dulled a little.
Eventually, the melody stopped, and Twilight’s eyes widened briefly, then softened. She looked behind Derpy again, and found that all depth to the world outside had vanished. It was only them and the Castle.
“...Would you like to come inside, Derpy?”
She smiled, and started humming again. “That would be really nice. Thank you, Princess.”