> It Hurts to Cry > by Dewdrops on the Grass > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > So Let Me Dry Your Tears > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Twilight Sparkle hated crying. Not because she felt weak, or that it wasn’t what a woman her age should do. She knew that was ridiculous. She knew it was good, for emotional release, for coping with strong emotions, with stress. She knew all that, of course, as she should, being a scientist. No, she hated crying because it hurt. It tore at her throat, cutting off her air. The tears drizzling down her cheeks mixed with her snot to coat her face in a gross mess. The heavy breathing fogged up her glasses, making sight impossible. Every time she cried her throat ached for hours afterwards unless she applied liberal amounts of honied licorice tea. That came with its own set of problems, even if it was delicious. The wind whistling through her hair on that cool spring afternoon only made things worse, filling her nose with pollen and adding her allergies to the mix. The metallic chair underneath her bottom grew colder by the second, making her wish she’d thought to wear pants instead of her usual patterned skirt. The styrofoam cup of coffee on the table in front of her had long since gone cold, but she gulped at it anyway in a vain attempt to wash away some of the snog clogging her throat. After she drained it she unceremoniously allowed it to clatter on the mesh table. As she sobbed she scowled down at the mobile phone in her hands, furiously thumbing through and erasing picture after picture from it. Every picture of him she could rid herself of brought a speck of relief amongst the deluge of frustration and grief. On occasion flashes of memory ran through her head. The time they went to the Canterlot Zoo, where he was dive bombed by the parakeets while she laughed her head off. The time she visited him at work by surprise, giving him a cake she baked herself, albeit with Sunset and Pinkie Pie’s help. The first time they made love, rolling like thunder in their sleeping bags in a tent under the stars, her crying out in ecstasy as she held onto him for dear life. But then all the bad times flew into her mind too. All the arguments. The glares. The time she caught him checking out one of her friends. The time he made her cancel on the first friendship date she’d had with Fluttershy in over two months just to show up two hours late to dinner himself. And so on. A litany of mistakes, of terrible moments. Not as many as it seemed, when put together all at once, but the pattern was there. The problems were there. She never should’ve gotten involved with him in the first place, and the fact that it took her over two and a half years to see it just drove her deeper into a pit of despair. Tossing her phone to the table with a loud clatter, she flopped her face down on her arms, laying in a heap like the piece of trash she felt like. “Go to hell, Timber Spruce,” she growled. “Twilight?” Twilight yelped in fright, falling over backwards as she flailed, trying to use her magic to catch herself. But she needn’t have bothered, as she fell into a pair of powerful, muscular arms. A masculine scent filled her nostrils, of guitar polish and motor oil, heady and strong. She looked up, blinking away some of her leftover tears as she adjusted her glasses, spotting a shock of blue hair. “Flash?” “Sorry about that!” he said with a nervous laugh as he helped sit her chair back up, carefully so he didn’t jostle her too badly. “Didn’t mean to scare you.” “No, no, it’s fine,” she mumbled, waving him off. Heat filled her face as she rummaged about her pockets and found an unused tissue, wiping the gunk off her face. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” “Cool, cool,” Flash said, sticking his thumbs into his jeans pockets. He gave her a friendly smile. “I was just walking by and thought I’d say hello. You mind if I sit with you?” “Uuuh… sure, sure, go ahead, please,” she said, gesturing to the chair across from her. A brief grunt of annoyance slipped from his lips as she snatched up her phone and shoved it into her pocket, so he couldn’t see it. “Juuust having coffee. By myself. Yup.” Flash examined her for a moment, then his mouth turned down, concern filling his face. “Hey, you sure you’re okay?” “Huh?” She looked up, her face flooded with warmth now. Oh no. He noticed, didn’t he? Crap! “No, no, I’m fine. Seriously.” “Hmm…” Flash placed a hand to his chin, then shook his head. “All right, I won’t pry. But if you do need to talk about something, I’m here to listen. You know. If you want.” She sighed, her face falling against the table once more. “I’m… look, I’ve just had a bad day, okay?” Flash nodded. “Seems like it.” He dropped his hand from his chin and interlaced his fingers, laying them down on the table. She looked away from him. “...a really, really bad day.” “I hear you.” Her mouth closed up, biting off the groan of frustration she wanted to unleash. “A-a-and I really just want to be alone right now. Sorry.” He nodded once, and got up from his chair. “All right then. I’ll get going. Just gonna go get me a coffee first.” Leaving the table, he made his way over to the coffee shop entrance. She watched him go, feeling like her best chance to vent was slipping between her fingers until she finally outstretched her arm and called out, “Wait!” He paused in the middle of opening the door. “Yeah?” “Can…can you get me a coffee too? A mocha, please.” Grinning, he flashed her a single thumbs up. “Sure thing. Be right back.” She waited for him to return, her spirits lifted, if just by a little. Despite that, she found herself biting at her lip, one hand tensing up on the table, raking her nails across the mesh metal. Then she pulled out her phone to check the time, anger flaring up all over again when she saw the pictures still on the screen. She deleted them in a hurry, eschewing the individual trashing for a single mass delete. As soon as she finished erasing the last bit of evidence of her time with Timber Spruce, Flash emerged from the coffee shop, cradling a cup in each hand. “Here you go, one mocha, with extra whipped cream,” he said as he set hers down. She grabbed it up in a hurry and took a drink, letting out a sigh of relief as the hot liquid poured into her, fighting off the chill of the air. “Thanks.” “You bet,” he said as he sat down. After taking a sip of his own coffee, he leaned back in his chair, and waited, smiling patiently. Throwing her hands up in the air, she let them fall to the table with a smack on both palms. It stung, tingling through her nerves, providing the impetus needed to loosen her lips. “I broke up with Timber Spruce today,” she blurted. “Woah,” replied Flash, his eyebrows shooting up to the top of his head. “I uh… is this a sorry to hear that, or good riddance?” Her lips pulled back into a harsh sneer, though not directed at Flash. “Good riddance, definitely. He was a jerk. I can’t believe I wasted two and half years of my life on him!” Her voice rose to a fever pitch as the words flowed like water down a cliffside. “He was rude, and impatient, and never stopped looking at other girls, and he didn’t know how to respect me. He was pushy, and, and he was mean, and he never knew when to back down from a stupid argument. Do you know how many times he made me prove I knew more about something than he did? It was a lot! He just…. Uuuuugh!” “Jeez. I knew he could be a bit dense sometimes, but wow,” Flash said. He leaned forward, his frown becoming apologetic. “I’m sorry I wasn’t paying more attention. I could’ve said something to him.” “No, no, please, don’t apologize for that,” Twilight said, waving a dismissive hand. “It’s not your fault. We… we didn’t exactly air things out in front of everyone. And I don’t think he would’ve listened if you tried, anyway. He never listened to me.” “Still…” Flash shook his head and took another drink of coffee. “Doesn’t excuse him being an ass to you. You don’t deserve that.” “No, I don’t,” she said with a firm nod. “That’s why I broke up with him. I… I deserve better than to be treated like he treated me.” Flash smiled at that, and tipped his cup to Twilight. “Right on. You’re an awesome person. You deserve to be treated like one.” A faint heat filled Twilight’s cheeks, this time for a pleasant reason. “Thanks.” She coughed and cleared her throat. “A-anyway, I told him I didn’t want to see him for a long time. Maybe if he could get his act together, we could be friends again, but… not for a while.” “Don’t force yourself to do it if you don’t want to though,” Flash said. He wrapped both hands around his coffee cup, warming them up. “It’s not fun trying to be friends with someone if you don’t like them.” Twilight barked a bitter laugh. “Oh don’t worry, there won’t be any forcing far as I’m concerned. Not anymore.” Flash sat up straight at that, a sharp look gracing his face. Both his hands balled into fists. “Wait, you don’t mean he--” Blanching, Twilight rapidly shook her head. “Oh, no no no, no, that’s not what I meant. He wasn’t that much of a jerk. I just meant, I… I’ve been…” She trailed off, her stomach churning, a sour taste filling her mouth. “I’ve been forcing myself for a while to stay with him. Telling myself I still loved him, when I didn’t.” “Oh. Okay then,” Flash replied, relaxing. “Good. I-I mean, not good that you had to force yourself to stay with him, b-but I mean--” “I got what you meant,” Twilight said with an amused grin. She felt more than a little flustered now by Flash’s reaction… she should’ve been offended by him rising to her defense, because it wasn’t as if she was some helpless damsel in distress. She had her magic, after all. There was no way Timber or anyone else would be forcing anything on her. She’d break them in half if they tried. But she wasn’t. Instead, her heart warmed at the thought. The flush in her cheeks blossomed to life, less rosy and more like a burning campfire, popping and hissing with its heat. Without meaning to her eyes ran up and down Flash’s body. She had never noticed just how strong he looked. How powerful his muscles were. She knew he enjoyed playing his guitar and working on his car, but she hadn’t spent too much time with him. He always hung on the periphery, almost like a cheerleader for her friends and her. Faithful. Supportive. Always there. Always… ...there… “Uuuh, Twilight?” Flash said, his face blooming red. “What’re… why’re you looking at me like that?” Twilight set her coffee cup down, her hands darting out to take Flash’s. “You know,” she said, her eyes narrowing in a sultry manner, her voice dropping in register, “Now that I’m no longer with Timber, I’m… available.” “Huh?” Flash gasped, his jaw dropping. “What’re you saying?” “I’m saying,” Twilight said, running a finger along the back of Flash’s arm, causing him to shiver, “that I’m available. As in, back on the market. I know you’re interested. Didn’t you have a crush on me once?” “Uh, well, uh, I-I had a crush on Princess Twilight, so, sort of, yeah,” he said, laughing as he scratched the back of his head. His eyes darted about as if trying to find a swift exit. Twilight left her seat and came around the table, wrapping her arms around him, leaning into him. “Well, then what’re you waiting for? I’m interested. You’re interested. Why waste any time, hmm?” “Twilight, what are you doing?” he asked, pulling away from her. His breathing accelerated to the pace of a marathon runner as he braced himself, ready to flee if he had to. His reaction was like a slap in the face, leaving Twilight stunned. “What do you mean? I’m saying I’m--” He shook his head and held up a finger to his lips. Then, after she quieted down and he had time to recover, he took a couple steps forward and placed both hands on her shoulders, gently enough she could push them away if she had to. “Listen, Twilight, you’re feeling pretty vulnerable right now. You’re hurting. You’re trying to find something to comfort you. I don’t blame you. But I’m not going to take advantage of that, okay? I’d be a pretty shitty person if I did.” He let one arm drop, leaving the other in place. “Yeah, I’m interested in you. Are you kidding? You’re awesome! You’re so smart, and you’ve got such a good singing voice, and you have a nice…” he trailed off momentarily, blushing profusely before shaking his head to clear out his thoughts. “A-anyway, listen. I’m single. I wouldn’t mind going on a date, maybe, say, three weeks from now? If you still want to, we can try it out then, see where things go. But… I don’t want to be the kind of guy that takes advantage of a girl when she’s on the rebound, you know?” Anger flared up in her chest as she scowled at him, the temptation to slap his hand away rising up like a rocket. She ground her teeth together, her left hand starting to glow with lavender light. Then the scientist in her head promptly smacked her upside the brain, told her she was being stupid and to calm down. She allowed her magic to fade away, then nodded. “Yeah. Yeah you’re probably right,” she blurted. “I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to start acting all… oh gosh, you must think I’m a total--” “Woah, woah, easy,” Flash said with a laugh, giving her a warm smile. “No worries, Twi. I get it. So, three weeks, then? We can go for coffee or something.” “Actually, I think I’ve had enough of coffee,” Twilight said as she gathered up her things, then unceremoniously tossed her coffee in the trash. “Why not the aquarium? I haven’t been there in a while.” He nodded and stuck his thumbs in his pockets, swaying back and forth on his feet. “Yeah, sure. Want me to pick you up, then? Say, nine AM?” She smiled back. “Sure. It’s a date.” “All right. Cool. See ya then, then,” Flash said with a jaunty wave. As she walked away, she tried not to smirk at the sound of him pumping his fist in the air and silently cheering his good luck. Three weeks later, the two strolled hand in hand through the aquarium, passing through endless hallways lined on all sides by glass windows, even the floor. Various fish swam through the waters, scintillating with every color of the rainbow glistening on their scales. Quiet filled the room, peaceful and calm, save for the occasional muffled splash of fins against water. The overhead tank was separated from the others by sturdy glass panes, allowing for larger, more predatory fish to lumber through the water. As one particular hammerhead shark eyed Twilight like she’d make a tasty meal, she found herself leaning into Flash, wrapping herself around his arm. “This was a good idea,” she said, her voice light despite the mild anxiety rushing through her system. “I’m glad we waited.” “Me too,” Flash replied, wrapping his arm around her to hold her closer. “It’s nice to chill, you know? This place is relaxing. I like it.” “I like you,” Twilight mumbled, then buried her face into his arm as her whole body burned like fire. “Yeah? You do, huh?” he said, a teasing smile gracing his face. “Well I’d certainly hope so, or else this’d get pretty awkward, huh?” She snorted, then broke into giggles. “Yeah, guess it would.” They continued walking for some time, passing by other people on occasion, but the aquarium was mostly empty, thanks to their choice of arriving during the middle of the week. Thus, by the time noon rolled around, their stomachs rumbling with hunger, they practically had the aquarium cafe all to themselves. As they sat down to eat, they broke the quiet, Twilight chattering on about her day, about her latest research at Canterlot University, the progress of her bachelor’s in chemistry, and so on. Unlike Timber, who frequently seemed bored by the complexities of the math and science involved, Flash showed considerate, constant interest. He listened, and when he didn’t understand he asked questions. Sometimes he still seemed baffled after she tried to explain, but he never complained. “I like listening to you talk about your interests,” he said. “They matter to you. They make you happy. That’s important.” Eventually the subject matter moved on to Flash’s own adventures, his pursuit of a musical career. Turned out his band performed at a lot of local Canterlot venues, and he frequently sidelined as a DJ, subbing in for DJ PON3 down at the local nightclub. “I think I’m going places,” he said. “You plan on touring the state, maybe?” Twilight asked as she took one last bite of her salad. “Eh, maybe. Dunno. I’m pretty happy in Canterlot, to be honest.” Although on occasion the minutiae he delved into with his music and automobile work didn’t peak Twilight’s interest, she nevertheless appreciated the level of passion he put into them. Just like her, he found what he liked, and he pursued it, come hell or high water. She found herself enthralled despite the fact that she’d never been interested in the inner workings of anti-lock brakes before. Maybe it was just the qualities of his voice. The way it filled the air, like a classic storyteller weaving a tale, yet never growing old or boring. Or maybe it was how his eyes sparkled and shined, showcasing his enthusiasm. And, well, he was pretty good looking too, she had to admit. He’d worn short sleeves today, showing off his biceps, powerful and toned, but not hulking or gross. She wondered idly if the rest of him was just as toned, since she couldn’t recall ever having seen him in swim trunks. Maybe she should. When they finished their lunch, they went for one last tour of the aquarium, spending some time watching sea otters dance and play with each other. Then Flash took her home. They kept up chatting on the way, switching subjects on the fly. She’d noticed how, during the whole date, he never took a single liberty. He held her hand when she tried to hold his, and hugged her if she hugged him first, but never made the first move. He focused on keeping her comfortable, respecting her boundaries. That… that meant a lot to her. A lot more than she had words for. So when he dropped her off at her front door, promising to give her a call in a few days for a second date, she cut him off by wrapping her arms around him, then pressing her lips to his. Not for long, not for more than a few seconds, but it was enough. Enough to show her gratitude, her appreciation, and the potential for more. When she went inside afterwards and sat down on her bed, she found herself crying again. But this time it wasn’t tears of pain, sorrow, or loss. Just soft, silent tears, slipping down her cheeks as she laid back, letting the happy glow of a good time run through her. Maybe this time, she’d found someone worth staying with. Maybe.