Will you fulfill your promise?
When I’m Gone
Spike landed outside the Crystal Palace with a soft thud. Not even five seconds after his arrival did a crowd of ponies surround him.
“Great and Honorable Spike! To what do we owe the pleasure of your visit? I was sure that today wasn’t a festive day,” an adult mare said as she tapped her chin with her fingers.
“Haha! Not to worry, everypony. I came on official business. There’s no need to announce my coming just for a short visit, right?” He ended with a chuckle.
His words, however, didn’t deter the gathered ponies to mumble and whisper happily all around him. “Even so, it is such an honor for you to come to the Crystal Empire, Great and Honorable Spike!” A stallion replied. “Since you are busy, do you want us to leave so you may carry on with your duties?”
“Under any other circumstances, I would enjoy giving my fans a good window of time to relate the tales of my travels and maybe sign some autographs. But I’m afraid I won’t be able to do it today. So I thank you for your understanding, my friend,” Spike gifted the stallion with a smile and thumb up that made him faint. “Have a good day, all of you!”
“Byyye!”
“Spike! Spike! Spike!”
“So humble!”
“So gracious!”
Spike heard his fans shout and discuss between themselves while he made his way into the Palace. The guards standing outside didn’t bother to search him as they stepped aside, allowing him entrance. As he traversed the pristine and ever-shimmering hallways of the Palace, he didn’t bother to hide his smile when he saw changeling guards, griffon staff members, and even a dragon guard amongst the crystal ponies. With courteous smiles and a waving hand, he greeted everyone that saw him.
“Ahhhh~ I love the Crystal Empire,” he muttered to himself. Bringing his right hand close to his mouth, he took a large intake of air and was about to expel it when a cry caught his attention.
“---iiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEHHHHH!”
He only had time to look to his left to find a speeding alicorn coming his way emitting a high-pitched cry. The energetic alicorn collided with him and they both found themselves on the ground after rolling uncontrollably a few seconds later.
“Uncle Spike!” Flurry Heart cried out as she nuzzled his chest and hugged her as best her arms could allow. “I didn’t know you’d be coming for a visit!”
“Hey there, Flurry,” he replied with a wide smirk. “You’ve been practicing the dragon speeding technique Ember taught you, eh?” He praised while hugging his niece tightly and petting her mane.
“Yup!” She replied, smiling brightly without a trace of shame. “Why didn’t you tell us you were coming, uncle?”
He shrugged before using his wings to get the two of them back on their feet, or hooves in her case. Their embrace ended and he took a moment to admire his armor-clad niece; befitting of a warrior-princess. “Did you grow a bit more?” He asked with a cheeky tone.
“Eh, a little. Being an alicorn can be a pain in the butt but it sure has its benefits!” She replied. “Hey, uncle, where are you heading to?”
“To meet your father. I came here at his request, after all,” he answered.
She tilted her head and crossed her arms. “Strange… dad never told me anything about it. Maybe he told mom but she always tells me anything.”
“Do you want to come along?” Spike offered.
“No thank you, Uncle Spike, I kind of runoff to see you the moment I heard you were in the palace,” she admitted, blushing slightly.
“I’m sure the new recruits will be thankful to get a few moments of respite!” He joked and got a playful jab on his stomach. “Ooouufff!”
“Can’t have that! Well, it was nice seeing you again, Uncle Spike!” Opening her wings, she flapped them so they could be on eye level before kissing his cheek and hugged him again. “Mom’s in the Throne Room if you want to visit her. Bye!”
With a pang of magic, she teleported away leaving Spike alone again. Chuckling softly, he brought his right hand close to his mouth and then breathed fire on it. Seconds later, a small paper scroll materialized on his hand. Opening it, he read the puzzling text once more.
-We need to talk, Spike. Come see me next week, same day.-
The dragon didn’t understand why Shining Armor needed to be secretive but he also wasn’t going to question his motives, whatever they may be. Rolling the scroll, he continued on his way until he reached the unicorn’s bedroom.
“Sir,” the two guards stationed outside said as he approached.
“At ease, guards. I’m here to see my brother if you wouldn’t mind?” He said, showing the scroll.
“Of course, Brave and Honorable Spike,” one of them replied and the other followed suit, granting him access.
“Thank you,” with a tiny nod at the two guards, he entered the room, and immediately the smell of a clean, sterilized room filled his nostrils followed immediately by the sensation of a barrier-spell that rendered him clean and bubbled by an invisible sheet of magic.
The doors closed and the low-key beeping sound of a monitor reached his ear-fins as well as the rocking of a chair.
“Ahhhh, Spike! Glad you could make it,” the voice of Shining Armor echoed in the room as the rocking stopped.
Spike smiled when he saw the stallion in question. His smile, however, was not completely sincere. He was happy to see his brother, there was no denying that, but he also forced himself to smile for his sake and swallow the grief and sadness that tug at his heart the second he heard the weak, weary voice of one of the three stallions he had come to see as not only friends, but family.
Gone was the picture of strength, dignity, and authority; now only preserved in memories and pictures of years long past. He could still see him being the proud warrior, the unflinching Captain of the Guard, the Prince of the Crystal Empire. A powerful unicorn that could match an alicorn when it came to defensive magic. A big brother who had watched over him whenever Twilight was allowed to bring him home. A shining beacon for all to follow and an exemplary stallion that always led by example.
Now… now only a frail old stallion remained. His mane was mostly gone, remaining only a small almost gray tuft of hair above his forehead. He couldn’t stand on his own anymore, bound to a wheelchair and an attached medic-servo that fed him nutrients via intravenous on his left arm. He couldn’t chew food anymore, as he had no teeth left, and even his coat had started to peel away to reveal the exposed skin underneath. A blanket covered his lap and lower regions, leaving his chest bare and exposing several scars all over his body, both gained on the field and the consequence of aging. Of his muscles, nothing remained, only patches of hanging skin at the best of times.
“Come on, Shining, do you really think I wouldn’t drop anything I was doing to visit my favorite big brother?” Spike countered, grabbing a nearby chair so he could sit in front of Shining Armor. “Though I have to admit, I was surprised to receive your letter. Tell me, what can I do for my brother?”
“You’re not going to ask why Twily isn’t here?” Shining Armor asked weakly.
“I gathered this was a private affair. You think she wouldn’t have asked me if you had also told her to come?” Both of them chuckled, one more lively than the other.
“True…,” the unicorn let out a long sigh. “Look at you, Spike… I’m proud of you, little brother. You’ve done so much for Equestria and the Empire.”
“I learned from the best around, Shining,” Spike replied, reaching out with his right hand to hold a trembling, thin, wrinkly hand of the stallion in front of him. “The very best.”
“You better remember it, you twerp. You may be a hundred and fifty now but you will always be a whelp to me!” The unicorn said as loudly as he could before breaking off in a short-lived fit of coughs. “D-Damn these coughs… I keep forgetting I can’t speak loudly.”
“...” Spike couldn’t do more than smile and laugh softly at his brother’s antics. But his heart ached and throbbed seeing him like that. So weak, so frail, so vulnerable. “Well, you never were the brightest candle, amma right?” He joked.
Shining Armor closed his eyes at the same time a nostalgic smile formed on his face. “Leave it to the dragon to make fire jokes,” he replied. “Ah, brings back memories, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, Shining,” Spike replied.
The two stallions remained silent for what felt like hours, just staring at each other and occasionally tightening their holding hands until the old stallion broke it.
“I’m tired, Spike,” he began. “That’s why I wanted to talk to you first… you’re the only one that can help me and understand my feelings.”
Spike blinked, the furnace inside him growing cold after hearing his words. “What… are you talking about, Shining? Talk to me about what? Are you--”
“No. Not that,” Shining Armor shook his head weakly, chuckling softly as he did. “I’m not suicidal, Spike. But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m going to die pretty soon.”
And like that, his fire was back and roaring. “You don’t know that!” He snapped at his brother, still mindful of his volume and keeping it low but transmitting his outrage with the same potency. “Don’t talk like that, Shining! A-Are feeling sick and you haven’t told Cadance about it? That’s it, isn’t it? You want to tell me so I get to find some incredibly rare plant that will cure you, right?”
“Spike--”
“Or were you cursed!? Don’t worry, I’ll find whoever did it and carve their faces on the ground or search for an artifact that will lift it!”
“Spike--”
“Nonononono, too simple, too easy. Yes! Sombra has returned and I need to stop him on my own so you can absorb his essence and regain your youth, right!? RIGHT!?” Spike asked with ragged breaths. “T-Twilight has been searching… for a way to make you young again but… we…”
“Spike,” finally, the dragon listened to the voice of his older brother. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m not sick or cursed or anything of the like. I’m old, Spike. Simple as that. And my time is almost at an end.”
Spike slumped back on his chair, having no idea when he stood up, and tears finally swelled in his eyes. “No… y-you can’t be serious, Shining…”
“Spike, my dear little brother, I’ve lived for nearly a hundred and sixty-five years. Twice the length of a regular pony and only because of my wife and daughter. Being around them gave me an unnatural longer lifespan. I’m happy and content with my life and I’m ready to move on,” he went silent for a moment, his eyes reflecting deep, profound tiredness. “I’ve got to enjoy seeing my daughter grow up and become greater than I ever was. I saw our sister lead Equestria into a golden age of prosperity. I’ve experienced so many wonderful things for more time than any normal pony has the right to live through.”
“Shining…”
“I’ve also lost countless friends, family, my parents, the girls. Heh, I’ve lived more than some of their offspring have. No. I’m done with my life. I’m ready to move on. It would be selfish of me to want to live more,” he explained, not in a sad tone. In fact, he sounded glad. “I know… what Twilight has been trying to do.”
Spike looked down at his hand, gently holding one of his brother’s hands. “How?”
“I know her well,” the unicorn replied. “But it’s futile, you know that, right? If it wasn’t, Cadance or Flurry would have done something about it already. It’s the same reason why Celestia and Luna refused to help Twily.”
“Yes. There’s nothing we can do,” Spike answered even as each word burned his throat.
“Don’t be sad,” Shining Armor begged. “Don’t cry, please. At least, I don’t want you to cry, Spike.”
Spike scoffed, shaking his head and frowning. “You’re asking me to not cry after hearing my big brother say he’s going to die soon and that there’s nothing I or anyone can do to help him? Seriously, Shining?”
“Please. I’m the crybaby, not you, Spike. And I shed all the tears I had to shed during my life,” he chuckled, an action that seemingly made his entire body tremble.
“I… I… I will try… but… is this what you wanted to tell me, Shining?” Spike promised, knowing there was no point in arguing.
“Only half of it.”
Spike watched as the free hand of his brother rose and landed on his scaly hand. He could barely tell he was squeezing his hand with all his might as all he could feel was a soft pressing over the back of his hand. Looking up, for a split second he stared into the strong, dutiful, resolute eyes of the stallion he always looked up to.
“Spike… after I’m gone, I ask of you as a brother and as an elderly stallion to marry Cadance.”
White noise filled Spike’s world and he couldn’t move as time itself became a foreign concept to his reality. After who knows how long, his senses finally returned to him when he heard his brother coughing. He realized he must’ve been out of it for quite some time and Shining Armor had tried to shake or shout at him in a futile attempt to gain his attention.
“Shining!” jumping to his feet, he was ready to call in the medical staff but a shaky hand stopped him.
“I-I’m okay… I’m okay, little brother. I’m okay. Nothing to worry about,” the elderly unicorn reassured him. “Come, sit down. Please.”
Reluctantly, Spike obeyed; his hand never leaving Shining Armor’s near imperceptible touch. They sat in silence for a short eternity until he gathered the strength to speak once more. “Shining… are you aware of what you’re asking me to do?”
“To take my wife’s hand in marriage after I’m gone,” he replied.
Spike flinched. “Damn it… I can’t call you insane or senile… why? WHY!? Why would you ask me to do such a thing!? How do you even know Cadance is going to accept your outlandish request!? Have you…,” he stopped for a second to catch his breath, fighting with himself to find the correct words to speak next. “...Are you aware of the political shitstorm that could cause? The badmouthing, the damage to your’s, Cadance’s, and Flurry’s reputation the potential---No! Screw potential, it is going to cause outrage if that happens!”
“I’m aware… I’m old, not stupid,” he replied with a gentle smile. “I have it all figured out, papers signed, everything. Of course, I don’t expect you to marry her right after I’m gone. However long it may take, please, marry her. I will ask the same of her later.”
“I’m not marrying her. Period! I love Cadance but not that way!”
“Who said anything about love? Companionship is more than enough. But if after decades, centuries… millennia, even, you two fall in love, then that’s better.”
“Why… You… Haaah! Haaaah!” Spike, on the verge of hyperventilation, slapped himself to put his thoughts back on in order. “Shining… I… I can’t…”
Shining Armor sighed. “It hurts… doesn’t it?” He asked, eyeing the ring on Spike’s left hand, proudly adorning his ring finger. The dragon didn’t reply with words but he did nod while bringing his left hand up. “Is it because of her?”
“I miss her with all my heart. Even after seventy years it still hurts,” Spike finally replied.
“I’ve seen far too many married couples; young, middle-aged, elderly, it doesn’t matter, suffer at the loss of their significant other, Spike. Some find refuge on something new, others move on slowly, others cling to the memory, and others die because of it, sadness taking its toll on them. But more than that, I’ve seen the loneliness, the pain, the silent suffering in their eyes,” his expression dropped. “I don’t want that for Cadance. I want her to have a pillar to lean on. She has Flurry, Twilight, Celestia, Luna, the Empire, and you. But I want you to be at her side. To support her when no-one is looking.”
“...”
“I know Cadance the best. I know she’ll bury herself in work, pretend she’s strong, but at the end of the day, she will cry, alone. I don’t want her to go through so much pain after I die,” he confessed.
“D-Don’t say that, please!”
“But I am dying, Spike. I can feel it,” he smiled sadly. “Cadance has done everything she can to ensure I won’t suffer in this weak body of mine. Bless her heart. But she can’t delay this anymore. I don’t have more than a few weeks left in me, Spike.”
Tears fell from the dragon’s emerald-green eyes. “I… I…”
“I remember when Gabby passed away. How devastated you were, Spike. How sad you still are. I know you still cry during some nights.”
“D-During her birthday and our anniversary… I… I stopped crying during the day she died years ago… it’s not what she wanted, but I can’t help myself,” Spike confessed then chuckled. “You know… she told me to find a new love, that she didn’t want me to suffer for her loss forever.”
“Have you? Find a new love, I mean? Because if you are seeing somecreature, then I won’t ask you to fulfill my selfish request,” said the unicorn without hesitation.
“No. No… nothing like that. I tried dating a few times. Never worked out. The memories of my wife were too present, too painful for me to keep trying. If I had, I would’ve ended up hurting other females that didn’t deserve to be treated that way,” the dragon explained himself.
“Then, Spike, I beg you to marry Cadance and take my place,” the stallion implored once more.
“But why!?”
“Because… dragons don’t die of old age, they are biologically immortal. You’re a dragon. That way, you two can be together and rely on each other throughout time long after I’m gone. And maybe… you can finally heal and help Cadance with her pain. You know the pain she’s about to suffer… the pain she’s going through right now; seeing her husband bound to a chair and a bed, unable to leave his decontaminated room, wasting away slowly and desperately clinging to the false hope that maybe just maybe… eh, nothing but blind, false hope.” Shining Armor let out a tired laugh.
“Let’s say I agree to this… do you honestly think the citizens of the Crystal Empire are going to just go with it? That Flurry Heart won’t be mad or have something to say about this?” He asked, defeatedly.
“The Crystal Empire itself idolizes you, Spike. You’re a living legend. Maybe now they’ll actually get a Prince that inspires the best in them, eh?” He joked.
“Don’t you dare belittle yourself even as a joke, Shining! You… You’re my big brother! Without you my last big brother is going to be Discord! I already lost Big Mac and if I’m going to lose you then I won’t allow you to speak of yourself like that!”
Shining Armor merely smiled tenderly at his little brother. “Flurry Heart won’t be mad. She’ll understand. She may be a hundred and thirty-eight years old but she’s barely a mature mare. Alicorns and their unique maturity rate. But I have to admit that I got to enjoy my baby girl being an actual baby and then my little filly for longer than some ponies live their entire lives,” he laughed, tearing up. “Those were the best years of my life.”
“But--”
“Spike, you’re her ‘Uncle Spi-Pike’, one of her best friends, practically her older brother, and already a second-father figure all rolled into one. She won’t be mad at you or her mother or me. Not after I talk to her.”
“You’re going to tell her?”
“Of course. Not doing so would be betraying her trust in her really old dad,” he shook his head slowly. Then, he looked up at him.
The eyes of the stallion reflected seriousness but also the resolution of someone who had lived his entire life to the fullest and had no regrets shackling them.
“Will you do it, Spike?”
Spike looked at him in the eyes and nodded. “I will… brother.”
“Thank you, Spike… ah, now that I remember, I have another small request if you’re willing to hear me out?”
*************************************************
The memories of only three weeks ago were still fresh and present in his mind. And now he was sitting witnessing the last eulogies being said about Shining’s life from those that knew him and were close to him.
Flurry Heart sat next to him and so did Twilight at his other side. The regal Princess refusing to cry her heart out. That would come later, he knew. Cadance was crying softly as she finished giving her last words and placing a loving memento on the body of her beloved husband. Celestia and Luna were a little further away, unable to contain their tears. Discord sat next to Twilight, sitting in an uncharacteristic silence while touching his wedding ring, wearing only a pale yellow tie.
There were other guards, all veterans that had the pleasure to know and be instructed by Shining Armor during his last years as Captain of the Guard and drill instructor. And, of course, almost the entirety of the Crystal Empire coming to pay their respects to their Prince.
Spike, for his part, wasn’t crying. He refused to cry and he would not cry. At least, not until he could safely break down alongside Twilight. He was sure of it. He heard Cadance call his name and knew it was time for the final eulogy: his own. Letting go of Flurry’s hand, he walked up to the podium, stopping only briefly to watch the cleaned and armored body of his big brother.
He chuckled. “Of course you’d demand to wear your armor for your funeral, Shining,” he muttered before turning around to face the crowd without reaching the podium. “I honestly have nothing left to say. Not after all the beautiful words and moving memories everyone before me has expressed. All I can say is that he was my big brother, the stallion I looked up to the most, the one I strived to follow in his footsteps. I failed for the most part but he always encouraged me to be my own dragon, not his shadow.”
Raising his hands, he breathed green fire on them. Once the fire was gone, a disheveled, old, falling-apart cardboard crown was resting on his palms. Silently, he placed the crown on Shining Armor’s chest and stepped back. “Now you’ll be the true Sibling Supreme, Shining.”
A pained cry was heard and the up to then stoic Twilight Sparkle broke into an uncontrollable wailing. Celestia moved quickly to hug the Princess and Discord patted her back softly.
“I love you, big brother,” Spike finished and took a step back. Finally, he took a large breath before breathing out a steady stream of blue fire. The funeral pyre was instantly set ablaze and the magic seals kicked in to make sure everything would be consumed by the flames.
He watched the blue flames engulf Shining’s corpse in mere seconds and then the rest of the pyre. He was many things, but he was a warrior at heart and a warrior’s passing is what he wished for his final send-off.
So distracted was he that he didn’t notice Cadance come to stand next to him until she spoke to him.
“Blue was his favorite color. Thank you, Spike,” she said.
“He asked me if I could do it for him… I couldn’t say no,” he replied.
The two stared at the flames for long moments. Slowly, they reached out with their opposing hands, moving no more than a few millimeters at a time for what felt like ages until their hands touched. Their fingers soon intertwined and their grip tightened.
The pain was there… but Shining Armor had been right. The pain was now bearable.
The End.