> You're The Inspiration > by AlwaysDressesInStyle > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > The Collector > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sunny Starscout rolled out of bed and stretched. Her efforts to improve relations between the Earth Pony, Unicorn, and Pegasus tribes had produced dismal results thus far, but she was certain that this would be the day her hard work paid dividends. It was hard not to be inspired by her heroes, as her room was a shrine to their ever fading memory. Posters decorated her walls, and she even had dolls of three of the six Elements of Harmony, the ponies who’d fought so hard for friendship: Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie. She put on her sash, decorated with pins depicting the cutie marks of Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, two of those legendary ponies. Most ponies thought she was a really ambitious Filly Scout, and that she wore her sash all the time. Nopony recognized the cutie marks of the past heroes, and if they had, she would’ve been chastised for admiring pegasi, the vermin of the skies. That’s what the other ponies of Maretime Bay called them, but Sunny didn’t go along with the herd. She had never met a Pegasus, and until such time as she came across one, she’d reserve judgement on them. She headed to the Curio Shop, a thrift store she frequented, hoping to find vintage items to add to her ever-growing collection of “Generation 4” artifacts. That was how historians referred to the era of the alicorns. The first generation had been pre-Harmony, the second had been the first Golden Age, ruled over by the triumvirate of Chancellor Puddinghead, Commander Hurricane, and Princess Platinum. The third generation had been the shortest… and the most terrifying: the era of Discord. Not much had survived from that time or earlier, but relics from after that weren’t uncommon. Those artifacts came from the fourth generation; ponykind's second Golden Age. The longest and most successful era of peace and prosperity ponies had on record. Most of the merchandise in the store was castoff junk from the last twenty years: toys that foals had outgrown, clothing that had gone out of style, and records by artists that hadn’t managed to stay mainstream. What she was after was significantly older than that – things that probably belonged in a museum, if only museums were interested in that era of equine history. Instead objects that were hundreds of years old still turned up periodically at yard sales and flea markets… and probably the dump, too, but the junkyard didn’t allow scrounging. You’d think that ponies would celebrate a civilization that lasted for well over a thousand years, but instead they ostracized them for how Equestria had ended: friendship had been their undoing. Things had gone back to how things were in the earliest era of ponies, before the first Hearths Warming: the tribes had split up amongst themselves. Supposedly there was some shady trading between the tribes, but that was a gray market. Nopony talked about it, and the ponies engaged in the deals tended to meet in out of the way locations late at night. “Just the mare I was looking for,” Curio Steeplechase greeted her as she walked into the store. “I’ve got a few things you might be interested in,” she added in a whisper. Sunny knew that meant she’d have to wait until the shop was devoid of other customers to see just what the shopkeeper thought would pique her interest. Sunny looked around and to her dismay saw the shop was crowded. “I think I’ll go get breakfast.” “Take your time. Perhaps come back at noon. I’ll close shop for ‘lunch’ today. But it’ll cost you: bring back pizza.” Sunny nodded, used to the older mare’s eccentricities. Pizza was a small price to pay for exclusive first dibs on anything she might find interesting. Not that there was all that much competition, but why take chances? She sat outside the Greasy Spoon Café, sipping on a steaming hot cup of tea and enjoying some croissants. Her attention was always skyward, hoping to catch a glimpse of an elusive Pegasus. Part of her doubted their very existence – ponies that could fly and walk on clouds? All logic said such a thing was preposterous. Equus sapiens was too heavy to fly, and clouds were far too fragile to support the weight of even a bird, let alone an entire city of ponies. It was a beautiful day, as sunny as her name, with fluffy white clouds scattered throughout the sky, providing shade in spots. If pegasi were real they’d want to be out flying on a day like this, yet she saw nothing. She sighed and glanced at the clock – it was still an hour until she had to go back to Curio’s. There were no other ponies eating outside; the ones who’d been eating when she’d sat down had quickly finished and left. Nopony else had decided to eat outside once they’d seen her sitting there. Sunny wasn’t surprised by that in the least – ponies weren’t interested in what she had to say. The iconoclastic mare had burned a lot of bridges between herself and her fellow citizens of Maretime Bay. It was a lonely existence. She returned to Curio’s shop at the specified time, with a pizza just the way the other mare liked it – Sunny had been through this routine enough times to have Curio’s topping preferences memorized. Curio opened the lid of the box and took a deep breath, inhaling the intoxicating aroma of a carrot, onion, and sweet pepper pizza. She grabbed a slice and motioned for Sunny to follow her into the back room. The dark and dusty room functioned as Curio’s makeshift office, and contained the treasures the mare had yet to price and put out on the shelves. She pointed to a trunk and left to grab another slice of pizza. There was no slow buildup of anticipation, as Sunny flipped the lid of the trunk open as quickly as possible. She wasn’t known for her restraint… or her patience. She gasped as she saw what was inside. The first thing to catch her attention was a Twilight Sparkle doll. She pulled it out of the chest, but was dismayed to find the unicorn’s horn had been broken off at some point. She set it on the ground, in the hope of finding the missing piece at the bottom of the trunk. There were quite a few books, timeworn and hardly library quality, but they were titles she wasn’t familiar with. She was thankful the language hadn’t changed over the years; while the words were antiquated and many had fallen out of daily use, she could still read them. Many were journals, and she quickly opened one to see who the owner had been. Somepony named ‘Smolder’ who’d been a student at the School of Friendship. Her jaw dropped. “How much?” Curio chuckled. “Filly, you haven’t even gone through the entire chest yet.” “I’ve seen enough to know I want all of it.” “I figured you might. One hundred for the whole chest. The toy’s broken, but I’m sure you can scratch build a horn. If not, it’ll serve as a placeholder until I can find you an intact one.” She reached into the chest and pulled out a pin. “Another for your collection – matches the toy.” “Twilight Sparkle.” Sunny quickly added the pin to her sash. “Three down, three to go.” “And the pièce de résistance.” Curio pulled out a shiny golden coin from the chest. “An authentic Equestrian bit. Solid gold.” Sunny oohed in appreciation. “Where did you find all this?” “A cave outside town. There was an edger there. A dragon. She hadn’t been seen in quite some time so I ventured into her territory. The rest of her hoard is mine – she had a lot of bits, so I don’t mind giving you one of them.” In its heyday, Equestria had had the ability to turn other metals and minerals into gold. They’d used it as currency. Sadly, that magic hadn’t survived to the current day, and even if it had, it would’ve done the Earth Ponies no good without horns of their own. As such, bits were one of the few things from the Equestrian era that were still worth money. “Just be careful you don’t end up an edger. There are… rumors going around about you. You say things that make others uncomfortable. We don’t associate with the other tribes. Period.” Sunny quirked an eyebrow. “You don’t partake in any gray marketing?” “Of course not. And if I did, I wouldn’t announce it to the world. You’d be wise to do the same, lest you end up exiled from town. You wouldn't make it a month as an edger.” Sunny gulped. She’d explored the surrounding landscape near the town. There were ruins from the Equestrian era, a town that her maps indicated as Baltimare, but it was inhospitable and grown over. Perhaps a thousand years ago, they’d had the magic to clear the ruins and bring them back to their former glory. She didn’t. She was already an outcast, she didn’t want to end up living on the fringes of society; the edge. As much as she loved the previous era, she didn’t want to live in its remnants. No, her dream was to bring back those glory days to today’s society. It seemed an unlikely scenario, but she’d never stop trying. “Have you ever met a Unicorn or Pegasus?” Curio looked around the closed shop, making sure nopony had stayed around after she’d shut down for lunch. “Aye, I have. It’s not something I talk about, nor would I admit this to anypony but you.” “What… what are they like?” “They’re ponies. Like you or me. Except they’ve got horns or wings.” “Then why are we scared of them?” Curio scoffed. “Earth Ponies aren’t scared of anything, let alone a bunch of prissy Unicorns or flighty Pegasuses.” “Pegasi.” “Whatever. Pegasuses and Unicorns can all rot in Tartarus.” “You can’t possibly believe that.” “Perhaps I do, perhaps I don’t. But that’s the official line. That is what our tribe demands us to say. I’ve no intention of ending up an edger. I’d hate to lose one of my best customers to such a fate. You’re at a crossroads, Sunny. Conform to society’s expectations, make friends with your fellow Earth Ponies, and live a happy, fulfilling life. Or continue your path to ruin; insisting on befriending featherbrains and hornheads. It’s a path that can lead only to madness at best, or oblivion at worst. You have the tools at your disposal.” Curio motioned to the books. “Choose wisely, young Starscout.” “I will. I promise.” Sunny pranced out of the thrift store, head held high and satchel overflowing. She would choose wisely… after she had read what Smolder had to say on the subject. Anything a former friendship student had to say was worth more than a pile of Equestrian bits. > Smolder's Journal > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sunny flopped onto her unmade bed – she’d never seen the point in making her bed, she was just going to muss it up again that night anyway. The broken Twilight Sparkle toy joined her friends on the nightstand, and the Equestrian bit was tucked into one of the drawers, along with assorted other sundry items that had been in the chest until only the books remained. Those she spread out on the bed. It was a jackpot – dragons were notorious for hoarding. That meant that unlike many other students, Smolder had kept her textbooks and schoolwork. Sunny practically drooled at the prospect of reading Twilight Sparkle’s Friendship Journal, but first she wanted to get to know Smolder. Many of the books were the dragon’s personal journals, and she hoped that there’d be a record inside of exactly what had ended the utopia known as Equestria. Entry 1: So yeah. Journal. Meh. Dragon Lord Ember decreed that there’d be a dragon enrolled at Twilight Sparkle’s new Friendship University or whatever it’s called, and by virtue of being the least disgusted at the prospect of attending, I’m the lucky ‘winner’. I leave next week. One of the requirements is keeping a journal, so yeah. Journal. Woo. Entry 2: So the school’s less lame than I expected. It’s pretty nice, and not gonna lie, it beats living in the Dragonlands. I think I may have even made some friends already. Not bad for the first day, even if they’re all the misfits like me. There’s one yak, one griffin, one hippogriff, one changeling, and of course I’m the only dragon. So I made friends with them, and the one pony that paid us attention, Sandhill or something like that. Shards, I’ve got to get better at remembering names. I think he has the hots for the yak. Her name starts with a ‘y’ just like the griffin’s name starts with a ‘g’ but I can’t remember their names either. And the only reason I remember the changeling’s name is I had to have her pronounce it a bunch of times so I could get right. I still have no idea how to spell it, but it’s pronounced Oh-sell-us. Once I got that in my head, the first image that came to mind was some company making toys of us and selling them. Ha! As if that would ever happen. Entry 3: Okay, here goes: Changeling: Ocellus Hippogriff: Silverstream Pony: Sandbar Griffin: Gallus Yak: Yona It’s a good thing the teacher with the hat (Apple something… I really need to work on this name thing if I want to do well here – I’m pretty sure friends like you to remember their names) takes roll at the beginning of every class. She even asked Ocellus to spell her name, sparing me the embarrassment of having to do the same. So after school, me and my new friends went over to some cutesy little bakery-restaurant thing, and wouldn’t you know it, one of our teachers (the pink one) works there. What’s up with that? You’d think being a teacher would be a fulltime job all on its own. But we all got to know one another better over dessert, and yeah, I think I can safely call them all friends now. That wasn’t too hard. Sunny planned to read and reread the journal repeatedly, but right now she wanted answers more than anything. So she skipped ahead a few entries. One of the dragon’s classmates was a racist pony named Cozy Glow that Smolder wanted to eat. Sunny’s hopes that that was a metaphor for something else were quickly dashed when there was a graphic description... and crudely-drawn illustration... of Smolder using the pony’s own bones to pick her remains from her teeth. Disgusted, she skipped ahead another few dozen entries. Cozy Glow turned out to be a more important pony than her initial journal entry had indicated. She tried to take over the school, and then Equestria as a whole, and Smolder had stopped her with her friends. Sunny felt vindicated – friendship was important. But a failed coup wouldn’t explain what happened, so she skipped ahead some more entries. Cozy Glow was back again. This time with the help of a centaur and the deposed queen of changelings. It didn’t end well for them. Turned into a statue was a slightly better fate than being eaten by the dragon. Probably. Again, failed attempts didn’t mean anything. But someone eventually succeeded. Graduation, and the end of daily entries. So everything was still good in Equestria past that point. Smolder stayed at the School of Friendship as a teacher, along with Silverstream and Ocellus. Gallus went on to join the Royal Guards, while Sandbar and Yona ran one of Rarity’s boutiques – the original location in Ponyville. The journal ended there, and Sunny dug through the pile of books, hoping she’d kept notes on her classes. Not surprisingly, she had. There were dozens of other journals, and she quickly determined there was a separate one for each year. While no doubt a treasure trove of information, coming from a friendship teacher, she scanned them for the last one. She found it, and the school year ended… suddenly, with the utter destruction of the school. Discord is a slimy traitor. I can’t believe everycreature trusted him all these years. I didn’t like him back when I first met him, back when he was messing around with Starlight Glimmer, and I should’ve trusted my gut instinct. I guess he had really been planning to do this decades ago, but Cozy and the others betrayed him before he could get his plans off the ground. This time around, he’s in control, and he’s terrifying. He summoned King Sombra, freed Queen Chrysalis, Tirek, and that wretched Cozy Glow from their confinement, and as if that wasn’t bad enough, there were more monsters than ever before. Grogar, Lavan, some slimy goo called the Smooze, and I lost track of the others. It’s awful. Destruction and chaos everywhere. Twilight and her friends are trying to stop it. I feel so powerless right now. They’re in the other room right now. My friends and I are huddled in this room, and we’re all writing in our journals. It seems so silly, and yet it helps. Twilight was right about that – it’s why she had us keep them back in school, and I guess none of us ever got out of the habit of daily writing. She’s a smart pony, and she’ll figure something out. I have faith in her. The map is showing… you know what, I’m not even going to write that down. I don’t want to remember that later. I really, really hope I can forget it. Starlight just came in. There’s something they can do but… it has awful consequences. I’m crying now. I don’t think I’ve cried since I was a whelp. It’s done. The attacks are over. That should be a bigger cause for celebration. Discord and his cronies are gone, but so are the best and brightest of our heroes. Twilgiht and her friends, Celestia, Luna, Cadence, Flurry Heart, Luster Dawn, Sunset Shimmer, Headmare Starlight and her husband Sunburst, and Star Swirl the Bearded and the other Pillars. They used Star Swirl’s limbo spell and they’re all in some sort of suspended animation. I don’t understand the details, but what’s left of the world is safe. I’m back in the Dragonlands now. There’s no more School of Friendship, and our headmare and vice-headmare are gone forever, so there’s no hope of rebuilding it. My friends and I agreed that we needed to do what we could to keep the peace between the nations of the world. Worst of all, there was a solitary survivor. It shouldn’t surprise me that that treacherous filly decided hiding was a better option than fighting. Cozy Glow is back and trying to fill the power vacuum in Equestria. And she’s succeeding. Stupid ponies. Stupid herd species. They all want to be followers, and when a leader comes along they’ll follow her to the ends of the world, no matter how awful she is. But she’s got a platform, and that platform is ‘look where friendship got us’. In hindsight, trusting Discord was a mistake, but trusting her is also a mistake. The entries became more sporadic after that, as one by one the nations of the world closed to one another. Even the pony tribes split into their base components. Eventually the dragons had turned to fighting one another, and Smolder had left the Dragonlands for the relative safety of wandering the ruins of Equestria. Sunny was crying by the time she finished the journal. Friendship used to be magic, to see it end like this was simply tragic. After crying herself out she returned to the beginning of the first journal, set on reading through everything. If she had any hope of fixing what was wrong with the world, she’d need to start from the beginning. And there was no better place to learn than the School of Friendship, even if she needed to learn by proxy. > The Pointy One > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- By all accounts, Izzy Moonbow was a silly pony. She’d been called that by her friends, her parents, her teachers… and even ponies she’d just met. She was horribly directionally challenged. She’d once gotten lost two blocks from her own home, on a road she traveled nearly daily. She was a seamstress by trade, a profession with particularly low demand in a culture that rarely wore clothing. She also had a penchant for breaking out into song at random times, often managing to sweep up hapless random strangers and turning it into an impromptu crowd song. She couldn’t explain how or why she did the things she did, much to the annoyance of the ponies around her. Despite the occasional annoyance, it was impossible not to like Izzy. Her bubbly enthusiasm and love of life was contagious. To not like Izzy was to lack either a soul or a pulse. But even Izzy’s enthusiasm only went so far. It was the last class of the day, and they had a substitute teacher. Of course that meant they were watching something from the World’s Most Boring Educational Videos series. It probably wasn’t actually called that, but Izzy didn’t care, that’s what she was referring to it as. It was the kind of video that made her wish she wore glasses – so she could draw eyeballs on them and nap instead. As long as she didn’t snore, she’d be fine. She made a mental note to pick up some reading glasses at the store later so she’d be prepared the next time. In most solar systems, planets orbit a star. Our system was like that thousands of years ago. Right through the first Unification Era, the planet Equus orbited a star known as the Sun. There was an awkward pause here, as if the narrator was waiting for a response from the audience. The video had no way of knowing there’d be no audience participation. It picked up after a few seconds, answering the presumed question from the viewers. But wait, you say, the Sun is what orbits Equus. Yes… and no. The Sun, the real Sun, is gone. We don’t know where it is now, but we do know what happened to it. It was during the Age of Chaos that the fiend known as Discord, an entity comprised entirely of dark magic vaporized the Sun. It’s presumed that he either teleported the star out of our solar system, or he teleported the solar system away from the star. Astronomers and mathematicians alike have pondered this question for centuries. Nopony has yet come up with a satisfactory answer. Equus no longer orbits a star. This is agreed upon by all researchers on the subject. Izzy closed her eyes. The narrator’s dull monotone was making her drowsy. Having the lights off in the classroom wasn’t helping. She was so tempted to lay her head down on her desk, but she didn’t know the substitute teacher. Would she send her to detention if she drifted off to sleep? Some subs were cool that way and didn’t care if anypony watched the assigned video or not. Without the life-giving light and warmth from the Sun, our planet was quickly dying. Without light, plants can’t grow. Without the light of the Sun, the planet was starting to freeze. Something needed to be done. It was through the efforts of the Unicorns that our planet survives to this day. If we no longer had a star, we’d create one. Every Unicorn, from the youngest fillies to the oldest stallions worked together to pull a lifeless neighboring planet closer. This was ignited with magic, and has burned brightly in Equus’ skies ever since. With all the talk about the Sun, Izzy’s mind drifted to one of her friends, Loveshine Brightly. I wonder what Loveshine’s doing right now? Hopefully gym class is more exciting than this video. This could put a cup of coffee to sleep. She yawned. Two powerful unicorns, Celestia and Luna, took control of the Sun and Moon, respectively, ensuring their movements through the sky. Their magic ruled the land for over a thousand years, but eventually they abdicated in favor of a pony by the name of Twilight Sparkle. Twilight was the Princess of Friendship and attempted to bring Equestria into a new age of love and tolerance. It backfired when she released Discord from his stony prison, attempting to reform him. He played her for a fool, promising to be good, and instead he betrayed her, and all ponies, by unleashing an army of villains and monsters upon the land. Izzy had heard this tale before – there’d been many movies and novels on the subject, and most of them were relatively exciting. This narrator, however, had turned what was an epic tale into something akin to being stuck in an elevator for hours listening to the most boring and inoffensive music known to ponykind. I feel like in I’m in a bad fanfic during an info dump of exposition. She looked at the clock. Just twelve more minutes until school let out for the day. With the most powerful Unicorns trapped forever in Limbo to contain the threat, the magic slowly drained out of Equestria. That included the Sun and Moon. The primitive remote control that Celestia and Luna had given to Twilight Sparkle upon her coronation still functioned, but the Sun grew ever dimmer, despite the efforts of the strongest mages remaining. Neutralizing the threat had taken all of Equestria’s most powerful Unicorns. There wasn’t enough magic to repair the damage that had been done. But there were devices – magical constructs that were the forerunners of today’s technological marvels. Magic couldn’t solve the problem, but science could… and did. The battle of wills was almost over. There were only a few minutes left in class and she’d managed to stay awake through the video. Adrenaline started coursing through her as she anticipated getting up out of her seat and galloping for the door. There was no longer dread of falling asleep, only a burning desire to be the first pony out of the classroom. She quietly packed her bags as the video’s narrator droned on. …and through the efforts of the smartest Unicorn scientists and leading technology firms, the Sun was repaired and its orbit was stabilized. No longer would Unicorns need to manually raise the Sun ever again. Repairs and corrections are made from Equus Space Agency’s headquarters in Hooveston, and beamed to the artificial satellites… Ring Izzy bolted from the room as fast as her legs could carry her. Freedom! > Her Highness > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Princess Pipp Petals looked out the window and sighed. Centuries ago, the Pegasi had made their home in the very clouds themselves. At least according to the legends. Still, she’d read the ancient history tomes, and everything else was accurate, so there was no reason to doubt that there had once been mighty cities in the sky. Pegasi still loved being as high as possible, and it was why they built skyscrapers that put the tallest Unicorn and Earth Pony structures to shame. The palace was the tallest of the buildings, of course, giving her the ability to gaze down upon her domain when she so desired. She turned away from the window – that desire was gone. Pegasus history was complicated. Prior to the first unification, they were a militaristic tribe, ruled over by a series of commanders, the last of which was Hurricane. After the Big Split, overseen by her own great-great-great-however many times-grandmother, the Pegasi had once more returned to their roots. At first, they were ruled by Empress Cozy Glow. Her son, Ominous Glow, chose the moniker ‘commander’ to pay homage to the tribe’s roots, then later changed it to ‘king’ because his daughter insisted she wanted to be a princess. Their lineage had continued using the title in the ensuing centuries. She strolled through the Hall of Ancients, gazing upon the portraits and stained glass windows of her ancestors. There were no statues to be seen. That had been one of Empress Cozy Glow’s first decrees, and her lineage had continued the tradition. Cozy Glow had been a great mare, picking up the pieces of Equestria and showing that only through the rejection of friendship could the tribes continue forward. She could’ve had all of Equestria, but chose to only take a third of it. Pipp sometimes wondered what the Unicorns and Earth Ponies were up to, but if her parents didn’t concern themselves with them, why should she? If they didn’t bother the great cities of the Pegasi, then the Pegasi wouldn’t bother them. That was the way it had been for centuries. There was peace, because they didn’t associate with the other tribes of ponies, or other creatures. Sadly, the wisdom of the ancients had died with them, and she felt no smarter standing in the hall dedicated to their accomplishments. She once more turned to look out the window. But instead of gazing down, she looked up, trying to picture a city in the clouds. The pictures of Cloudsdale showed it as a classically-styled city, with mighty cloud columns decorating the largest and most important buildings. “Someday.” She already planned that when it was time for her reign, she would allocate the resources necessary to colonize the sky for real. They might not be able to walk on clouds like their ancestors, but Pegasi were industrious. She had faith a hovering city could be constructed. And then the Pegasi could truly leave the other pony tribes and other creatures behind once and for all. It would be for the best. Though, before the time came, she hoped she could at least meet a representative of each of the other tribes. It would be interesting to meet ponies without wings. Magic must’ve been nice, but she didn’t envy those ponies in the least. Technology could replicate anything magic could do – and more! Except cutie marks. Of course, if somepony really wants a cutie mark, they can just get a tattoo on their flank. She trotted out of the room and her guard detail materialized around her. It was so nice of her parents to surround her with hunky young studs. It was a shame she was off limits to them, but that never stopped her from flirting with them. She brushed a wing over one of her guards, flipping open his saddlebag in the process. A green sphere immediately drew her attention. “Why do you have a tennis ball in your saddlebags?” “That’s not a tennis ball, ma’am, um, miss, er, princess… your highness.” Pipp grinned. Teasing the colts below her station was one of her favorite perks of being a princess. “She grabbed the ball from the guard’s bag. “Looks like a tennis ball. Feels like a tennis ball.” “It’s an anti-pointiness device. For Unicorn prisoners. That way nopony gets an eye poked out.” “Bounces like a tennis ball…” She gave it a whack with a hoof and the ball anti-pointiness device shattered a vase in the next room. “…Breaks valuable heirlooms like a tennis ball. Are you sure this is safer than just leaving any theoretical Unicorn visitor’s horn unadorned?” “It’s official policy.” “Do we get many Unicorn prisoners?” “No, Princess!” He saluted. “But there’s always a first time for everything.” “You call me the instant you take a Unicorn into custody.” “No can do! Unicorns are too dangerous, ma’am, I mean princess. Per your father’s orders, you’re to be kept far from any captives we might take.” Pipp slid a wing over the guard’s withers and whispered into his ear. “But if you don’t come and get me, how can I see this amazing anti-pointiness device in action? Otherwise, I’m afraid I’ll just have to assume that it really is just a tennis ball, and you’ve been slacking. Besides, with a big, strong guard like you around, no hornhead would dare attack me.” Pipp could see the beads of sweat on the guard’s face as he struggled to keep his composure. “Typical colt. Leaving his toys out where somepony could slip on them. Are you just going to leave your anti-pointiness device on the floor?” “No princess!” The guard saluted and retrieved his ball anti-pointiness device from the remains of the vase. “And next time be more careful. I’ll smooth things over with my parents, but the next time your anti-pointiness device breaks something, it’s coming out of your salary. Now be a good boy and fetch a maid to clean up this mess.” “Yes, princess!” He saluted and ran off.