Enter Jacob Irving

Chapter 1

Jacob Irving wakes up to the annoying, repetitive, and loud beeping sound of his alarm. He groans as he rolls over to shut the alarm off. Once fully awake, Jacob gets up and goes through his morning routine.

He works as a landscaper. It was the only job he could get with just a high school diploma. He only earns minimum wage, lives in a small apartment, and only has a bicycle to ride to work.

He gets up and gets dressed for work. He wanders into the kitchen and eats a bowl of Cheerios with a glass of milk. Anything but a bowl of cereal is a luxury.

"Breakfast of fucking champions," Jacob grumbles.

Then, Jacob finishes his breakfast and sets his dishes in the sink. He grabs his keys, his camouflage baseball hat, and his multitool. Finally, he leaves his apartment.

The apartment is on the second floor, so he has to walk down a flight of stairs to the bike rack. Jacob unlocks the lock and sets it under a bush nearby. Soon, he pedals off to work. The job site is less than two miles away. His coworkers, who were Mexicans, arrived a minute later. The homeowner wanted them to set up a desert xeriscape, which involves planting desert flowers, planting desert shrubs, hauling 50-pound sandbags, and carrying large rocks. Jacob wasn't sure if "rock" was the right word. A giant ass boulder was more accurate.

"Buenos Dias, Juan," (Good morning, Juan) Jacob greets. Jacob speaks fluent Spanish.

"Buenos Dias, Jacob. Estas preparado para trabajar?" (Good morning, Jacob. Are you prepared to work?) Juan says.

"Tan preparado como puedo estar." (As prepared as I can be)

After Jacob greets the other workers, they work on the project. However, Jacob keeps to himself and works alone. His self-imposed doesn't bother his coworkers. The temperature increases rapidly as the sun rises. By 9 am, it was 85 degrees Fahrenheit. Jacob was used to working in the heat, so it didn't bother him much. The work isn't backbreaking, and it's fulfilling. His coworkers were blasting their native music.

For lunch, they have chicken tamales and tequila. The tamales are delicious, and the tequila is strong, as Jacob likes.

Around one o'clock, the owner walks outside to check the worker's progress. Jacob immediately recognizes the owner. It is a kid that he went to school with three years ago. The problem is that Jacob hates him.

The kid, Henry Richards, is the son of a highly wealthy oil tycoon who owns a company with oil rigs worldwide. Henry had no problem flaunting his parents' money. He throws exceptionally wild parties, wears designer clothes, and drives expensive cars. Jacob doesn't hate him because of the money but the way Henry treats him. Henry had picked on him for years, as did everyone else at school. Henry used to trick Jacob into doing things that made him look like an idiot and laugh at him. Henry doesn't recognize Jacob at first. It is when he gets closer that Jacob is recognized.

"Jacob Irving? Is that you?" Henry asks with a mischievous grin on his face. Jacob knew this look too well.

"Oh, shit," Jacob mumbles.

"Dude, It's been forever."

"We graduated three years ago."

"That's almost forever."

"Too soon for my taste," Jacob grumbles. His grumble is low enough to where no one can hear it. Henry couldn't hear it.

"I remember you DJing at a bunch of my parties. What was your stage name? It was Mr.-something. I can't remember what your name was."

Jacob sighs and tries to shut out the bad memories. It was Henry who talked Jacob into DJ-ing and getting a stage get-up. A suit and a green ski mask with a question mark on the front. This incident was when they were freshmen. The DJ job lasted throughout high school.

"My name was Anonymous, no title," Jacob reminds him.

Jacob chose the name Anonymous because he wanted to remain anonymous behind the ski mask. That worked for four years until a particular bastard exposed Jacob on stage while dancing behind the turntable at the senior prom. That sealed Jacob's hate for Henry.

"Yes! That was the funniest shit I've ever seen," Henry laughs.

"Yeah, fucking hilarious," Jacob mumbles sarcastically.

"I'm having a party tonight. You should pull up and do your DJ shit again."

"I'd rather not."

"Dude, I can fucking guarantee that you have nothing to do tonight. It will be great. Maybe, you'll get a girl like mine."

Henry points his thumb back at his house. Jacob looks over Henry's shoulder and sees a girl that looks to be in her early twenties. She is wearing a skimpy bikini that isn't within the borders of public decency.

"I prefer not to spend time with girls whose job is to dance on a pole."

"It's better than the girl you have. Oh, wait, you don't have one," Henry snaps.

Jacob can see Henry's irritation. Henry isn't used to being told "no,", especially from a low-life such as Jacob. Since Henry is an asshole to get what he wants, Jacob resorts to his favorite way of dealing with people he hates—being snarky, sarcastic, and straightforward. It's odd to deal with people, but Jacob enjoys the reactions.

"Unlike rich asswipes like you, I don't like girls that live in a brothel," Jacob quips.

"Huh?"

"A whore house, dumbass."

Anger rises in Henry. Jacob tries not to smirk.

"FUCK YOU!" Henry shouts.

Henry glares at Jacob and walks away. Jacob returns to his work. The workers keep working until the sky turns pink and light purple. Jacob helps his coworkers load their tools and grudgingly translates for Henry when Juan goes to get the payment for the job. Soon after, Jacob leaves on his bike to return to his apartment.

When he arrives, Jacob goes to his mailbox and grabs his mail. The amount of mail causes him to gulp. It is that time of the month. Time to pay the bills. The bills include credit card bills, rent, utilities, and a student loan he took out before dropping out of college.

Jacob chains up his bike and goes into his apartment. When he enters the apartment, Jacob lays the envelopes on the table. Jacob fixes himself a sandwich and a glass of water before looking at the bills. As he ate, he added up the cost on a piece of notebook paper. When he finishes adding, Jacob is sweating bullets. The statements only left him five dollars to live off of for the next month.

Jacob stares blankly at the amount. Anger and frustration build up in Jacob's body until he can no longer contain it. He angrily swipes the plate, the glass, and the bills off the table. Then, he puts his face in his hands. His parents didn't prepare him for life and how to survive independently. They kept putting it off. The time they could've used to help Jacob, they spent coddling and spoiling his younger brother, Daniel Irving. Jacob didn't want to do the job his parents wanted him to do. When Daniel was interested, they spent most of their free time with Daniel while pushing Jacob aside. His parents treated Daniel like a king and Jacob like a pauper.

Jacob slams his fist down on the table in disgust, frustration, and anger.

For the first time, Jacob feels like taking his own life. The bills, the years of being picked on, his neglectful parents, and his loneliness weighs heavily on his decision to kill himself. It would be quick and easy to take a gun to his head and pull the trigger. The only problem is that Jacob didn't own a gun. He only has his multitool and an old KA-BAR knife that he bought as a teenager. Slitting his wrists or stabbing himself would be too painful. Now, committing suicide was no longer an option. What Jacob does next, he couldn't explain, not even if he tried. It is like an innate instinct that suddenly awakens inside of him.

He gets up and cleans up his mess. Then, Jacob walks into his bedroom. He grabs his old backpack, which he used to take to school, from under his bed. Jacob filled it with several t-shirts, three pairs of jeans, socks, and plenty of underwear. He slipped his multitool in with his clothes, a notebook, a box of mechanical pencils, and an advanced survival book written by American Special Forces and Eagle Scouts.

After he loads his backpack, Jacob takes a hot shower. The reason doesn't occur to him; he just felt like it. He finishes his shower and puts on some clean clothes and shoes. Jacob slips on a light jacket and his camouflage hat. Then, he attaches the KA-BAR knife and its sheath to his belt. Finally, he picks up his wallet, which had two hundred dollars, and puts it in his pants pocket.

Jacob leaves his bedroom and walks to his front door. He's about to walk out but feels like he has forgotten something. Jacob returns to his bedroom. After looking around the room, Jacob spots the thing he is failing.

On his dresser was a small stuffed animal. It is a pony. Its body is dark blue. The mane and tail are yellow, and it has black button eyes. It was a gift from his teacher when he was little. He called it Thunderclap.

He picks up the stuffed animal and holds it close to his chest.

"Why am I doing this?" Jacob asks. Of course, Thunderclap doesn't answer.

Jacob removes his backpack, sets Thunderclap inside it, and puts his bag back on. This time, Jacob leaves his home for good. He opens his door, steps out, and closes it. After standing there momentarily, contemplating his decision to run away, Jacob descends the staircase.

He leaves the bike locked to the stand. Jacob doesn't want anyone to know he's gone.

Jacob walks towards a patch of woods that borders the apartment complex. He knows that on the other side are the city limits, and leaving the city is his plan.

Eventually, Jacob arrives at the city limits. A small creek, about four feet across and seven feet deep, travels alongside the city limits. On the other side is a clearing that stretches over the horizon.

If I am going to leave my life behind, Jacob thinks, might as well leave my identity behind, too.

Jacob takes out his wallet. He pulls out anything that identifies him. Then, he breaks any cards that he has into several pieces. Jacob stares at the pieces. Getting rid of anything identifying him is not the best idea in the universe. Then again, running away wasn't either. So, Jacob tosses the pieces into the creek below. The pieces float away as Jacob crosses the creek. Once he crosses it, he begins his seemingly long trek.

Jacob walks for a few hours. When he grows tired, Jacob removes his backpack and rests at the base of a tree. He looks at the bright, full moon. By its position, he could tell it was between 9:00 and 10:00. He had read how to do that in his survival book.

Jacob closes his eyes and tries to get some needed sleep. However, rest seems to evade him. Jacob tries a meditation technique that he read about on the Internet. Easier said than done. Thoughts of his parents plague his mind. He grits his teeth. His parents and his over-pampered brother. His family. Those god-forsaken people.

Jacob's train of thought is interrupted by a twig snapping. It causes him to jump. When no other sound follows it, Jacob closes his eyes.

Another twig snaps. This time, Jacob becomes slightly afraid. He knows cougars live in this area, and attacks weren't rare, but not often. Again, no other sound came after it. Jacob settles on the idea that his mind is playing tricks on him.

Once again, another twig snaps. Then, a gentle snort follows. Jacob has had enough.

"Who in the -" Jacob turns around and comes face-to-face with a piglet. A wild piglet.

Jacob screams. The piglet squeals and runs away. He assumes it is going to run far off. However, it runs to a team of hogs. The piglet's mother grunts loudly and charges. The rest of the group follows. Jacob slips on his backpack and runs.

Jacob knew that hogs could maul and trample people. Though they are not as dangerous as cougars, hogs are deadly.

Jacob continues running through the woods. Briars cut his skin, and branches strike his body. It's painful, but not as painful as being cut to shreds by oversized pigs.

For several minutes, Jacob runs in a dead sprint. However, he isn't paying attention to what's ahead of him. He focuses on what's behind him. Jacob assumes that only broadly spaced trees and saplings are ahead of him. Plus, it's dark. It's so dark that he doesn't see a rock about the size of a softball, and he trips over it. Jacob puts his arms out to catch himself.

Jacob went through the leaves, the pine straw, and the dirt. At first, Jacob thinks he's fallen through a hunter's trap, but he doesn't stop falling. Jacob begins to flail his arms like a child trying to swim. He keeps falling, falling, and falling. Jacob screams until his throat is sore. Jacob soon passes out from fright. He doesn't even notice when he hits the ground.

Jacob gasps as he wakes up. T's daytime. Birds are singing, and some frogs are croaking. He sits up and looks around.
He notices he isn't in the same area he was at night. Instead of oak and pine trees, there were apple trees around. His backpack and hat are lying next to him. Jacob furrows his eyebrows in confusion. He pats his body to check for broken bones. It surprises him to find no broken bones, but something else catches his eye. His hands were green! He looks down at his shirt to look at his chest. It was green, as well.

Confused, Jacob rubs his head. His long, black hair wasn't there. Jacob pats his head rapidly to see if he feels right. There isn't a single strand of hair.

"Where the hell am I?" Jacob asks himself.

He stands up, slips on his backpack and hat, and wanders around the apple trees. Jacob guesses the trees are part of a farm. The evenly spaced apple trees give it away. He picks an apple from a nearby tree and eats it.

Walking deeper into the apple orchard, he hears some farm animals making various noises. Jacob hopes to find someone so he can ask for help. So, he heads in the direction of the sounds. Then, Jacob sees an odd sight in the corner of his eye.

A strange tree stands about twenty feet away to his right. It looked like an apple tree but had different colors. The leaves were dark teal, and the branches and trunk were maroon. Jacob walks closer to the tree. The fruit dangling from the tree's branches is just as strange. It's an apple but has stripes, and the lines are shades of gray. Curiosity seizes Jacob. He grabs the odd apple and gives it a gentle pull. However, the apple remains attached to the branch. Jacob pulls on the apple again, a little harder this time. Furthermore, the apple refuses to let go. He tries again with a little more force. No dice.

"You're a tough little bastard," Jacob says.

Jacob yanks the apple with all his might. Instead of getting the apple, he gets a burst of electricity. The shock sends Jacob flying and yowling like a frightened cat. He lands on his back and begins gasping for air. Eventually, he catches his breath and stands up.

Jacob looks around but with more caution.

Jacob is about to keep walking when he hears voices from behind him.

"It came for over here!" a female voice calls out. The voice sounds like Reba McEntire.
He hears footsteps, but it sounds heavier and faster than human footsteps. The footsteps stop as Jacob turns around. The thing is in view until he looks down. Then, he gets the surprise of his life, or so it seems.

Four ponies, each varying in height and age, stand before him. They are different colors, as in the broad color spectrum. One has an oversized bow in her mane. Another has a yoke around his neck. The oldest has a scarf around her neck, and the last has an old beat-up cowgirl hat on her head. Besides the different colors, the ponies don't look like regular ponies. They look incredibly cartoonish. They have large eyes that look almost human and short muzzles. It was enough to freak Jacob out.

"Who are you, and what are you doing here in our orchard?" asks the pony with the hat.

"Talking...ponies. What?" Jacob stutters.

"My granddaughter asked you a question," the eldest pony snaps.

Jacob slowly begins to back up. The four ponies move closer. Jacob stops, turns around, and bolts. The pony with the hat gives chase.

Jacob runs as fast as he can. The backpack slightly slows Jacob down, but he keeps running. He spots a fence bordering the orchard; he slows down to climb over the wall and sprints across the farm. Chickens, sheep, pigs, and other animals scatter as Jacob sprints across the farm and down a small path.

A small town comes into view. Jacob hopes that there might be some humans who can be of help to him. However, his hopes are dashed when he arrives in the town. There are ponies everywhere. Unicorns, pegasi, and regular ponies. Each has different colors. Not one human is in sight. Jacob turns around and sees not one but six ponies chasing him. Once again, he begins sprinting. This time, Jacob sheds his backpack.

Jacob runs through the center of the street. Ponies dive and move out of the way. Some scream as Jacob passes by.

A female unicorn pulling a cart isn't paying attention as she walks out in the street.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY!!!" Jacob screams.

The unicorn tries her best to run forward but with no luck. Jacob hurdles the cart. Surprisingly, he clears it and sticks the landing. Jacob resumes running. He sees a patch of woods at the edge of town. He turns his head to take one last look at his pursuers. They are still running after him. Jacob faces forward. Jacob's head hits a low-hanging sign. He's instantly knocked unconscious.

Twilight Sparkle observes the human. She recognizes the species because of her adventures at Canterlot High School. After the human ran into a sign and knocked himself out, she had Applejack tie the creature up and hang him from a nearby oak tree's branch. Twilight had run back, grabbed the things he dropped while running, and laid them next to the tree.

"What is it, Twilight?" Rainbow Dash asks as she flies near the dangling creature.

"It's a human, but he looks-" Twilight pauses as she searches for the right word, "-different."

Rarity slowly walks over to the dangling human. Then, the human begins to stir. He groans and opens his eyes. Rarity quickly backs off.

When Jacob opens his eyes, he begins to struggle against his restraints. Then, he looks down and sees his pursuers.

"W-where am I?" Jacob asks, "Wait. Why am I tied up like a pinata?". Now, he's a bit ticked off.

"You were trespassing on my farm. Then, you ran off," Applejack announces.

"Oh, that. You're probably not going to believe this, but-" Jacob hesitates as the wind blows him to where his back is facing the mares, "Okay, can someone turn me around?"

Twilight uses her magic to turn Jacob around. He looks at his body, then at Twilight, and back again.

"What the hell was that?" Jacob asks as he blankly stares at Twilight.

"Magic," Twilight replies nonchalantly. "You don't have magic where you come from?"

"Yeah, but not that kind of magic. The only magic I've seen is pulling a rabbit out of a hat and the 'Oh, no. Where did my bra go?' magic show."

Twilight and her friends look at each other in confusion.

"It's pretty clear that you guys didn't get to party in high school," Jacob states dryly.

"I know how to party," Pinkie Pie announces.

"No offense, but you look like you'd throw a six-year-old's birthday for an eighty-year-old."

"Everypony has to release their inner filly."

Jacob scoffs, "Last time that happened, I looked like an idiot. Now, will someone let me down? I can feel my circulation in my arms and legs getting cut off."

Twilight uses her magic to unravel the rope restraining Jacob. He falls to the ground, but he lands on his feet. Then, he walks over to Twilight. Jacob raises an eyebrow as he looks down at her. He can see tiny droplets of sweat building on her forehead.

"Who are you, exactly?" he asks as he sets his hands on his hips.

Twilight gulps. She can see a large knife attached to his belt. It makes her nervous when Jacob puts his hand on the hilt.

"I'm Princess Twilight Sparkle. These are my friends," Twilight replies. She tries to add some authority to her voice.

The other five ponies wave as Twilight introduces them by name.

"Okay, Princess, do you mind telling me where I am? I've got a feeling I'm not in Kansas anymore," Jacob asks as he looks around.

"Right now, you are in Equestria. The town that you ran through is Ponyville," Twilight replies.

"Ponyville, huh? That's original," Jacob grunts. "And where is my stuff?"

Twilight points her foot toward the oak tree. Jacob walks over to the tree.

As he gathers his things, he can hear one of the ponies walk up behind him. He turns slightly to see who it is. It's Pinkie Pie. Jacob ignores her and looks through his backpack to ensure his stuff is there.

However, Jacob stops when Pinkie Pie asks, "What's your name?"

Jacob stands up and sighs. He's about to say his real name, but he stops himself. He remembers that he forwent his identity as Jacob Irving. Destroying his identification cards is proof of that. Though, it was more symbolic than anything else. Cob sighs again. He can sense the ponies' patience growing thin and turns around. Now, he decides to get rid of his identity for good.

"I am Anonymous," Jacob says.

"Anonymous?" Rarity questions. That would explain the giant question mark on your face."

Anonymous reaches for his face and slightly brushes it. Now, he thinks this dimension is playing a cruel joke on him. He tries to forget his past, and the dimension turns him into something from his past.

He finishes his previous task and puts on his backpack and hat. Then, he looks down at the group of ponies.

"It's been a pleasure conversing with you, but I need to find some shelter before nightfall," Anonymous announces. He adjusts his hat and walks forward.

"Hold on. Despite scaring my critters half to death, you can stay in the barn," Applejack offers. It's not much, but it will help."

Anonymous stops and turns around. Staying in a barn sounds tempting, but Anonymous decides against it.

"Thanks, but no thanks. I'd rather rough it."

Twilight is surprised. She has been taking mental notes on Anonymous. So far, he has acted like a human, except for refusing Applejack's help. He seems confused and slightly overwhelmed but throws her for a loop because he didn't show it. His blank states are almost concerning. Anonymous's eyes reminded her of her brother's eyes when he stood at attention as the captain of the Royal Guard.

"Are you sure about that?" Twilight asks concerningly.

"I am sure. I think I'm better off on my own."

"What are you, a survival freak?" Rainbow Dash asks.

"Nope, I've been on my own for...twelve years. I believe I can handle myself," Anonymous replies as a matter of factly. I've read many survival books in my free time and know how to survive in the wild." Anonymous adjusts his jacket and turns around. He starts walking again.

"What about food and water?" Fluttershy asks.

Anonymous stops and sucks in the air through gritted teeth. The ponies are starting to get on his last nerve. These questions about his survival and well-being are annoying to Anonymous. It's none of their damned business. He exhales. Anonymous turns once again.

"I'll hunt for something; a water source is likely nearby. This town wouldn't be here if there weren't a source," Anonymous answers.

"Y-you'll hunt animals?" Fluttershy stutters. This made her even more nervous.

Anonymous nods his head.

"With what?" Rainbow Dash asks suspiciously.

Anonymous pats the hilt of his knife.

"I'll fashion a spear or make a sling. Now, excuse me; I need to make a shelter."

Anonymous turns around and walks away.

Over the next few hours, Anonymous gathers materials for a temporary shelter. It's a small slanted shelter no taller than Anonymous's waist. It takes him about twenty minutes to build. After that, he made a fire pit and a spit, which didn't take long. Then, he spends several hours hunting with a modified spear. He uses a stick with his knife tied to the tip of the stick with some vines. At about eight-thirty, Anonymous has bagged two squirrels. He cleaned them and began cooking them over the fire.

Anonymous turns the stick on which the squirrels are roasting. He thinks about his current situation and the events that transpired recently. A whole new dimension with anthropomorphic ponies is mindblowing. Anonymous sees the squirrels are done, so he removes the roasting stick and breaks it in half to separate them. He lays one squirrel on the rocks surrounding the fire pit and eats the other.

He's about halfway through the first squirrel when he hears some leaves rustling. Anonymous slowly reaches for his knife, which is lying by his leg. The night is dark enough to where he can't see what's around him. The fire illuminates only ten feet around the camp. A twig snaps as Anonymous grips his knife. Something comes out of the dark. Somepony. It's Twilight Sparkle. She is wearing a saddlebag on her back, but she's not wearing her crown.

"Princess, this is an unexpected visit," Anonymous states as he releases his knife.

"Please, call me Twilight. I don't like being called Princess that much."

"Okay, Twilight," Anonymous emphasizes, "Twilight," "What do I owe the pleasure?"

"I was wanting to see if you were alright."

Anonymous spreads his arms out and motions at the small camp. "Wouldn't you say I'm alright?"

"Yes, I would. I'm impressed with your setup. Seems cozy."

"It's not a five-star hotel, but it'll do."

Anonymous takes another bite out of the squirrel. Twilight winces as she sees this. She knows that humans are omnivores, but seeing humans eat another creature is strange.

Soon, awkwardness fills the air.

"So, Anon," Twilight says, "can I call you that, by the way?"

"Sure."

"Can I ask you a question, Anon?"

"Go ahead. Have a seat while you're at it." Anon points to a large rock near the fire pit.

Twilight sits on the rock and asks, "Why did you turn down sleeping at Applejack's barn?"

Anon tosses the roasting stick into the fire and picks up the last one."I told you then, and I'll let you know now. I can handle myself. Not that I didn't appreciate the offer. I prefer to be on my own."

"Let me ask you another question. Why do you like being by yourself?"

Anon takes a bite from the second squirrel and looks at Twilight with a blank stare. Through the flames of the fire, the stare creeps her out. She can tell that something is wrong with Anonymous because his posture changes. Then she asked the question, and Anon went from sitting straight to leaning towards her.

"That's none of your damn business," Anon says in a low voice. He returns to his previous position.

"I'm sorry, Anon. I didn't mean to intrude in your personal life," Twilight apologizes. "I'm trying to understand how you operate."

Anon sets down the half-eaten squirrel and glares at Twilight. She can tell that he isn't happy with her. The look in his eyes is cold and threatening. The fire adds to the effect.

"Is that what I am to you? A wild creature that you can observe?" Anon continues glaring at Twilight with a blank stare.

"No. You act differently than the humans that I've met. You aren't social, and you are secretive. I wanted to observe so I could come up with an educated answer to why you act that way."

"I like being alone. As I mentioned earlier, I've been on my own for a while, so I've gotten used to being alone. I'm not saying that I don't like or hate being around people. It's just...what I'm used to doing. Does that answer your question?"

"It will suffice. I would still like to know more, though."

"Good luck with getting it out of me."

Anon returns his gaze to the fire and picks up the squirrel. He returns to eating. Meanwhile, Twilight uses magic to levitate a small box from her saddlebag. She sets it close to Anon. He looks at it suspiciously. Anon tosses what's left of the squirrel into the fire and picks up the box.

"What the hell is this?" Anon asks.

"A care package. The girls and I compiled some stuff to give you. Pinkie calls it a "Welcome to Ponyville Present'." Twilight replies.

Anon shakes his head in disgust. He makes it clear that he doesn't need help. However, he didn't want to be any ruder about it than he had been. Anon picks up the box and opens it. There's a small leather bag that is tied off by some string. Below it was a dark blue blanket with intricate design patterns. After that was a compilation of cookbooks.

Surprisingly to Twilight, Anon cracked a half-smile.

"Look inside the bag," Twilight says. "That one is from me."

Anon complies and takes a peek at the bag. He raises an eyebrow in interest. Then, he lowers the bag and looks at Twilight.

"I don't need any money," Anon announces dryly. "Since it's a gift, I accept it."

"You're welcome. It won't last forever, so use it sparingly," Twilight warns.

"I'll find a job and pay you back every cent."

"Anon, it's a gift. Use it." Twilight adds a pleading tone to her voice. "And where will you find a job?" The pleading style is gone.

"I used to be a landscaper. I'm not a professional, but life will be okay if I get some money. Also used to do odd jobs in high school, so that's another source of income."

"I'm sure there's somepony that would pay you to help them with something. At do you plan to do with the money you earn?"

"I don't know. Buy a house or rent one. Buy food, more than likely."

"So you plan to stay here?"

"Until I can-"

Anon hesitates. He knows that returning to his world would not be possible. Only because the more he thought about it, the more not returning to his world sounds better. A new start. A clean slate. The situation he's in is perfect for that.

"You know what, never mind," Anon states.

"Okay?"

"I've got a couple of questions about...well...the ponies here," Anon announces.

"I'll answer any questions you have."

"What are those tattoo things on your asses?" Anon points to Twilight's flank.

Twilight blushes at Anon's question. She notes that Anon has no problem with being straightforward with everything.

"They're cutie marks."

Anon raises an eyebrow. Are they a symbol of something?"

"Sort of. You get cutie marks when you discover what you're good at."

"Let me get this straight. If you do something, like paint a picture, a cutie mark of a paintbrush could pop up on your ass?"

"Basically. Ere's more to it than that, though."

"I'll take the basic description. Another thing, I've seen pegasi, unicorns, and regular ponies, but what kind of pony are you?"

"I'm a combination of all three. I'm an alicorn."

"Interesting."

The awkwardness soon returns. Twilight and Anon sit in silence while watching the flames. Twilight looks over at Anon and watches him. She could tell he was thinking by the way he rubbed his chin. What was going on in his head caused her to wonder more about him.

Anon sees Twilight looking at him. He returns his head to face her.

"Am I that interesting?" he questions.

"I'm sorry, Anon, just observing you," Twilight admits.

"Please don't. It makes me uncomfortable."

"Noted." Twilight sighs and stands up. "As much as I'd like to know more about you, I must return to my castle. It's getting late."

"Got it. I need to hit the sack, anyway."

"Good night, Anonymous."

"G'night, Princess."

Twilight walks back into the darkness as Anon drapes the blanket over him. En, he grabs Thunderclap from his backpack and embraces it. Anon knows it's childish but feels more secure with the old stuffed animal.

Anon lays down under his crude shelter, using his backpack as a pillow. He watches the fire die out before attempting to sleep.

Anon looks at Thunderclap and smiles. Funny how his toy fits in better than him. This amuses Anon.

"Maybe this place isn't so bad as I thought," Anon tells Thunderclap. As usual, no reply.

Soon after, Anonymous falls asleep.

The Princesses

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Chapter 2

It's been three months since Anonymous arrived in Ponyville, and plenty has happened. Word of Anon's part-time "profession" spread throughout the small town. Many ponies approached Anon, extremely wary of him, with a job offer. Within the first week, Anon had earned eight hundred bits. Most ponies paid him by the hour, so getting money wasn't hard.

After the first month, Anon bought an abandoned house on the edge of town. It was old, and most ponies called it a shack. Almost every aspect of the house needed repairs. Anon began slowly but surely repairing the home with building supplies he bought with the bits he earned. Along with the reserves, he purchased the various tools that he needed.

When the house was almost livable, Anon purchased cheap, wooden furniture that wasn't already there. However, a lot of the furnishings needed repairing. The mattress he bought had to stuff from it, and the sheets had many tears and holes. The only blanket remotely clean was the one given to him by the Mane 6. The house had a wood stove that was in decent condition, so Anon cooked a lot of his food on it. Plumbing was a challenge, but he managed to fix it. Then, he had a fully functioning sink and a shower. Bathing in a river wasn't the best thing in the world.

With the bits he had left over, Anon purchased food. The food was primarily vegetables, fruit, and bread. The meat was a little harder to acquire. He had to hunt using snares and traps, mainly for small game animals. Fluttershy tries to stop Anonymous from killing the animals, but she only gets a blank stare and gets told to get lost. She tried using her secret weapon called The Stare. That didn't work, either. Anon laughed at it and walked away. When a filly got trapped in a snare, Anon cut down on the hunting. As a meal, he usually ate soup or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Leftovers were an everyday meal, as well.

Over the next two months, Anonymous developed a system that helped him manage his time. He usually spent the first half of the day doing his freelancing job and earning money. For the second half of the day, Anon worked on the house.

The work on the house was slow because Anon constantly turned down help. Despite living practically next door to the ponies for almost three months, Anon didn't trust them. He didn't even trust Twilight or her friends. Anon noticed that he had the same ponies asking him to do small tasks that they could do themselves. They were using him, and Anon recognized this almost immediately. To him, these ponies were the same as humans, minus the species difference. What was worse was that the "customers" underpaid him. Very few of the ponies would pay him fairly. Anon didn't say anything about it because he needed the money, no matter the amount. However, the level of trust went both ways. When Anon worked at another pony's house, they constantly checked on or watched him closely. Anon suspected their lack of trust was because of his initial entrance into Ponyville. Many ponies thought he was a monster from the Everfree forest or a spawn of Tartarus. They called him a "green monkey" or the "ape creature" behind his back. However, Anon could hear these demeaning whispers.

During the three months, Anon took some time to learn about the world he landed in. One of the first things he knew was that Ponyville wasn't the only town in Equestria. Some cities are familiar to him, but they had horse-centered names, like Manehattan, San Franciscolt, Vanhoover, and others. There isn't a Washington D.C., but a Canterlot is this dimension's version of Camelot. Much like D.C., it is the capital of the country. Anon also found out that Twilight wasn't the only princess in Equestria. Two lived in the city of Canterlot, and another lived with her husband in the city-state called the Crystal Empire. Anon learned that the currency used in Equestria is called a bit, not a dollar. The money looks like ancient Greek coins. The ponies didn't use paper bills. Anon kept his dollar bills, just in case.

Twilight Sparkle noticed a couple of things during the past few months. When Anon moved his building supplies, he'd move them without help, even if they were heavy. He often made several trips and breaks. She concluded that it was his stubborn and self-reliant nature. Another thing that Twilight noticed was that Anon didn't make any effort to get to know anypony. He usually kept to himself and only interacted with ponies when doing business with them. This concerned her as the Princess of Friendship, which Anon laughed at. When Twilight tried talking to him when he was alone, he'd snap at her and say something rude. He had his usual blank stare, but his words showed that he was bitter and cold-hearted.

This went on for too long. Twilight decided to call on her former mentor and fellow princesses, Princess Celestia and her sister Princess Luna. They agreed to come to Ponyville to help Anonymous.

It is a warm Saturday afternoon. Twilight waits patiently for Princesses Celestia and Luna just outside her castle. Her assistant, Spike, stands by her side. Unlike Twilight, Spike waits impatiently. The Princesses are late, and it is rare for the two to be late.

"Are you sure they're coming?" Spike asks.

"Yes, I'm sure. Princess Celestia and Luna made a promise that they'd come. Although, they aren't usually late," Twilight says. "I wonder what's keeping them."

Just as Twilight stops speaking, she sees the Royal Chariot emerge from a cloud, pulled by four pegasi guards. Their golden armor sparkles in the sun, and their blue plumes add to their appearance. It was only a few moments before they landed.

The princesses exit the oversized chariot. Twilight and Spike bow as the princesses approach. The taller alicorns bow, as well.

"Princess Celestia, it's good to see you again," Twilight says as she rises.

Celestia smiles with the motherly smile she's known for.

"Come on, Twilight. You can drop the professionalism since we are not on a 'professional diplomatic mission,'" Celestia announces tenderly.

Twilight and Celestia embrace in a hug. Then, Twilight releases Celestia and hugs Luna.

She releases Luna, and they begin walking toward Anonymous's house. The guard ponies remove their reins. Then, they grab large spears that resemble dory spears from the chariot and get into a two-by-two formation behind the princesses. They march at attention but are ever vigilant, watching for potential threats.

"Twilight, I have a question about this Anonymous fellow," Luna says, "Is he a threat to anypony or Equestria?"

"No, he's not a threat to anypony. At least he hasn't shown any threatening behavior," Twilight replies. "Although, he always carries an abnormally large knife with him."

Celestia can almost sense her guards tense up at the mention of the knife. She knows the guards are trained to protect the princesses at all costs. They are trained to fight almost every creature in Equestria and the surrounding nation. However, they aren't prepared to fight unknown species.

The group walks in silence the rest of the way. Soon, the group sees the shack that Anon calls home.

Anon is working on his workbench. A beer bottle is sitting next to a toolbox. He measures a wooden plank with a tape measure and marks it with his pencil. Anon begins sawing where he had drawn on the plank. The porch in front of his house needed repairs badly, so he dedicated the entire day to the project. He is focused on sawing but not enough to where he hears multiple hoofsteps from behind him.

"Good afternoon, Anon," Twilight chirps.

"What is it this time?" Anon asks. He doesn't even bother turning around.

"I want you to meet some ponies that are friends of mine."

Anon sighs. This isn't Twilight's first attempt to introduce him to ponies while working on a project. This irritates Anon.

"Twilight, can't you see I'm-" Anon turns around but comes almost face-to-face with Princess Celestia.

"Anonymous, allow me to introduce to you Princess Celestia, Princess of the Sun, and Princess Luna, Princess of the Moon," Twilight says as she gestures her hoof at the taller alicorns.

Anon crosses his arms and leans against the workbench.

He looks at Princess Celestia up and down. Anon is about six feet and three inches tall, and Celestia is about an inch taller than him, minus her horn. Celestia is tall enough to where Anon looks her directly in the eye. However, Princess Luna is shorter than her sister. Anon estimates she's under six feet. Despite being taller than everyone else, Anon could see other differences between the taller alicorns. The colors on their bodies represent what they were the princesses of. Celestia is the day, and Luna is the night. Another thing Anon noticed is that Celestia and Luna's manes billowed as if the wind were blowing them. Anon doesn't feel any wind, so he assumes magic is causing that effect.

Princess Celestia takes a particular interest in the human. His body characteristics slightly resembled a monkey's. Two arms and two legs, and that is pretty much it. Celestia noticed the human had little hair on his body. There was a small amount on his arms, head, and face. The human was muscular by pony standards. Celestia silently admits that this Anonymous person was slightly attractive for a non-pony.

After observing the princesses, Anon spots Spike standing beside Twilight, as he usually did with her.

"Hey, kid," Anon says.

"Hi, Anon," Spike replies.

Twilight looks at Spike in utter shock.

"How's life treating you?" Anon asks.

"I can't complain," Spike answers back.

"Same here, buddy."

After speaking to Spike, Anon's eyes wander over to the four guards behind the princess. To him, the guards resemble Spartan hoplites, save for the body armor. Their spears and swords also looked Spartan. Anon smirks as he grabs his beer bottle. He takes a sip and points the bottle at the guards.

"Didn't think I was that dangerous," Anon points out.

"It's just a formality, Mr. Anonymous," Princess Celestia announces.

"Please, drop the title, Your Highness."

"Alright, Anonymous," Celestia says. "Twilight tells me that you are from another dimension."

Anon nods his head as he takes another sip of his beer.

"My dimension is similar, besides the anthropomorphic ponies and some technology 2,000 years behind. Seriously, the technology in my world would make Twilight drool. I'm not blowing hot air, either."

Luna looked over at Twilight, who had a confused face. More than likely, at Anon's comment. She had to admit that the statement was funny. Luna chuckles silently.

"For the record, Anon, I know what your technology is like. Remember, I told you that we have a world similar to yours, " Twilight announces.

Anon shrugs his shoulders.

"I would like to hear about this technology your world possesses," Celestia admits.

"I'd like to, but I can't. I've got to finish this project by nightfall," Anon says as he points his beer bottle at the broken-apart porch.

"Would this evening be a convenient time?" Luna asks. "We are having dinner at Twilight's castle with her friends."

Anon rubs his chin and considers it. Then, he looks at Luna.

"It depends if I finish my project before then," he says. "Can't make any promises, though."

"Could I leave my guards here to assist you with the project's completion?" Celestia offers. Anon furrows his eyebrows.

"Hard pass. This is strictly a solo mission. I don't need anyponies to help."

Anon curses himself silently for using Equestrian terminology. Those words that have "pony" in them instead of "body or "one" irritates him. None of the ponies know this, of course.

"Anon, that looks like-" Twilight begins to speak, but Anon holds up a hand to silence her. His infamous blank stare causes her to shudder.

"I don't think you remember our conversation about helping me when I didn't ask for it." Anon turns to Celestia. "I appreciate the offer, but I politely decline."

Princess Celestia is confused. Never has she seen a pony turn down help, especially with a difficult task such as a reconstruction project. Then again, Anonymous isn't a pony. Human characteristics, personality traits, and whatnot aren't exactly sought-after subjects since humans didn't come to Equestria. Anything about the human species in Equestrian books is based on theories or speculation. Celestia makes a mental note to research her little information on humans.

Twilight sighs as she shakes her head and motions for the group to follow her. She is disappointed that this introduction didn't go according to plan, as did the rest. She couldn't understand why Anon acted this way when she tried to introduce him to somepony. His behavior reminds Twilight of the griffin's behavior.

"Princess Celestia, permission to speak freely," one of the guards asks once they are out of Anon's earshot.

"Go ahead, Sergeant Bronze Shield," Celestia permits.

"I think I speak for everypony when I say that the human had no excuse for dismissing you, Princess Luna, and Princess Twilight like that, much less speaking to you with such disrespect."

"I concur, Sister. Anonymous may be new to Equestria, but he needs to learn to respect royalty," Luna growls.

"Anon seems okay to me," Spike pipes up.

The princesses look at Spike.

"I've talked to Anon before today, and he seems nice. His taste for alcohol is hard to get past, though," Spike continues.

"I still agree with Sergeant Shield," Luna says.

"When a creature acts that way, it's usually due to internal pain. A past trauma, if you will. That could be why Anonymous is anti-social and rude when somepony talks to him," Celestia explains.

"I wonder why he was nice to Spike," Twilight wonders aloud.

Celestia wonders the same thing. She begins thinking of the possibilities that could answer the question. Perhaps it is Spike's childlike size, disposition, and innocence. Maybe Anonymous attempted to be friends with somepony. Somebody, in this case. The first meeting between the two could provide a clue.

"Spike, do you mind telling us how you first met Anonymous?" Princess Celestia asks.

Spike scratches his head and recalls a month ago when he crossed paths with Anon.

One month ago

Anon walks out of the tavern, clutching a small bottle of bourbon. His throat burns a little from knocking back one too many tequila shots. He is slightly more buzzed but has enough awareness to know his way back home.

This night has been like every Friday night since Anon arrived in Equestria. After a hard week's work, he would go to the local tavern called Hard Cider's Watering Hole and guzzle a few beers or whatever drink he felt like having. The bar reminds Anon of an old west saloon, minus the consistently playing piano, gunslingers, and scantly dressed women. Anon became a regular there, and almost everypony in the tavern wanted to drink with him. Although, he didn't particularly like being surrounded by drunken stallions and mares.

Anon walks by Sugar Cube Corner and sees the owners closing up the store. He is tempted to make a last-minute stop to grab a cake or pie but decides against it. A few ponies make their way down the street but steer clear of Anon. This confuses him because, after two months, he would expect them to be less afraid of him. Maybe they could smell the alcohol on his breath and know someone under the influence doesn't react well if provoked. Or his less-than-famous entrance in Ponyville might also have something to do with it.

His train of thought is interrupted when he hears a voice call out.

"Umm...excuse me, Anonymous."

Anon looks around and sees a small dragon, a drake, walking up to him.

"Can I help you?" Anon asks as his hand rests on his knife hilt.

"I...just wanted to introduce myself," the drake says. He extends a hand. "I'm Spike, Princess Twilight's assistant."

Anon squats down, takes his hand off of his knife, and shakes Spike's hand. He's impressed by Spike's firm grip.

"How did you know my name? Wait...don't tell me. Twilight," Anon says.

"You got it."

"I knew it." Anon rubbed his chin and looked Spike up and down. "Twilight's assistant, huh? I'm sorry."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Do her nosy questions ever bother you?"

"I've known her all my life, so I guess I've gotten used to it."

"Hm. Easier said than done. I swear to God; she's more nosy than Pinkie Pie," Anon announces.

"Nosier than Pinkie? I'd have to disagree with you there."

"Fair enough. You know them better than I do."

An awkward pause follows.

"So, how do you like it here in Equestria?" Spike asks.

Anon rubs his chin.

"Equestria is better than my world, that's for sure," Anon admits.

"Does your family miss you? You've been here a long time."

Anon's mood changes from calm to angry in an instant.

"Hell, if I know. I sincerely doubt they miss me if I'm being honest," Anon says a bit too forcefully.

"Why wouldn't they miss you?"

As Twilight usually did, Anon is tempted to snap at Spike for asking prying questions about his family. However, Spike had only asked two questions about his family, not a few hundred. He didn't use indirect questions to trick Anon into talking about his family or past. Spike doesn't know. So, Anon responds like he answered the first time Twilight asked about his history.

"That's none of your damn business," Anon says coldly. His piercing blank stare sends chills down Spike's spine.

"I'm sorry. I was just curious," Spike apologizes.

"Apology accepted, kid," Anon's mood changes quickly from angry to calm. He stands up and studies Spike for a second. Perhaps this drake isn't like the ponies that dominate the town. He's better."You know what, kid? You're alright. That's more than I can say than some people around here."

"How so?"

"For example, Twilight is a pain in the ass. Her questions push more boundaries than a nosy neighbor. What's more annoying is when she keeps shoving her friends down my throat. Pinkie is like a kid who has ADHD that ate an entire bag of rock candy. A gallon-sized bag, to be more specific. Rainbow Dash is on the verge of getting prank war declared on her."

Anon's comments make Spike nervous. He worries about hearing a negative comment about a particular mare but asks anyway.

"What about Rarity?" Spike asks, attempting to sound casual.

"Rarity? She's okay. She made me a pair of shorts after I washed her windows. Rarity said it was a payment," Anon replies. "Why do you ask?"

Spike blushes. "No reason."

Anon rolls his eyes. He knows the reason why.

"I did catch her gawking at me when I had my shirt off on that hot day two weeks ago. That was an awkward conversation."

Spike's calm demeanor immediately goes into shock. Rarity was eyeing the human. It would not be very good if Rarity and Anon got together. Tartarus would be Paradise compared to that situation.

Anon sees the shock on Spike's face. He shakes his head but with a smile on his face.

"If it's any consolation to you, Rarity isn't anywhere near my type, both species and personality-wise. I can't stand a girl who stands in front of a mirror for thirty minutes and pays a fortune for a stupid pedicure," Anon says.

"There's nothing wrong with that," Spike announces slightly defensively.

"You've been hanging around girls too much. Tell you what, come by my house tomorrow morning, say at 9:00 am, and I'll show you what guys do for fun."

"Uh...okay. I'm sure Twilight won't mind if I take the morning off."

Anon turns around and looks at the sun. It's just below the horizon. The sky is a mixture of pink, purple, and orange. The streets turn almost black. The only thing lighting the roads is the full moon and a few lamposts. Anon decides it's time to return home.

"Hey, listen. I need to get home, but it was a pleasure talking to you, Spike," Anon announces as he faces Spike.

"I need to get back to the castle, anyway. I guess I'll see you tomorrow, Anon," Spike says. "Can I call you Anon?"

"Sure. Everyone does. You can probably guess who gave me the nickname."

Spike nods his head. The two wave as they go their separate ways.

Present

Spike finishes his story about his first meeting with Anon. By this time, the small group has reached the castle and is in Twilight's private library. The guards stand just outside the door. The princesses and Spike sit on giant beanbags to support the larger alicorns.

When Spike finished his story, Princess Luna was the first to speak.

"It sounds like the alcohol was talking instead of Anonymous," Luna says coldly.

"I don't think so. From what Spike had described, Anon wasn't drunk. He was more or less buzzed," Twilight replies.

"Alcohol still affects the mind, Twilight, even after a glass or two."

"Don't be so skeptical, Luna. Maybe he was being friendly."

"My point still stands," Luna crosses her forelegs. "What do you think, Sister?"

Princess Celestia doesn't hear Luna. She's deep in thought. In Twilight's letter she sent a week ago, Anon was described as rude, irritable, and unfriendly, much like Discord before his reformation. The Anonymous that Spike told was the polar opposite of the one in Twilight's letter. But one thing remained the same, Anonymous's mood changed when his past or family was asked about. However, there is one minor detail that bothered her. In Spike's story, Anonymous mentioned that Twilight's questions pushed personal boundaries and that she was forcing friends on him. From what she's seen, Spike never did that to Anonymous. Celestia finally found the answer she is looking for. Now, there is another problem that needs addressing. However, Celestia's concentration is broken when a blue hoof waves in front of her face.

"Are you alright, Tia?" Luna asks with some concern in her voice. Celestia blinks her eyes rapidly.

"Yes, Thank you. Lulu. I was thinking about our previous question. I do believe I have an answer for it," Celestia says.

She explains the answer. When Celestia finishes, she turns to Twilight to fix the new problem.

"Is what Anon said true? Were you asking him questions that pushed boundaries and forced friends on him?" Celestia asks sternly.

"Anon exaggerated a little, but yes. I couldn't find out why he was so reclusive, so I asked him some questions. The only thing I got was the cold shoulder or getting a rude comment. When he didn't try to make friends, I thought introducing him to a few ponies would help. As you can tell, that hasn't worked at all," Twilight explains.

Celestia rubs her muzzle with her hoof and closes her eyes.

"Twilight, we've talked about this. Creatures have boundaries, and when pushed, they tend to get bent out of shape," Celestia addresses. "You must also realize that Anonymous isn't used to friendship being magic, so making friends may not come easy to him. Therefore, making friends will take longer than expected, or he'll make friends independently, as he's done with Spike."

Twilight is silent for a moment. Then, she speaks.

"I'm sorry, Celestia. I didn't realize that trying to help Anon. I was causing him to push everypony away. I just wanted to help him adjust to life here in Equestria," Twilight says. She hangs her head.

"I think that apology is heartfelt, Twilight, I do. However, I am not the one you should be apologizing to. Anon was wronged," Celestia tells Twilight.

"I'll tell him when he comes to dinner tonight."

"If he shows up," Luna grumbles.

That evening, Anon stands in front of his woodstove, cooking his favorite soup, which is broccoli and cheddar soup. The soup bubbles as it reaches Anon's desired warmth. He removes the large pot and sets it on a metal rack on the table. He takes a spoon and dips some of the soup into a small wooden bowl. Then, Anon takes a slice of bread, lays it next to his spoon, and pours a small glass of water. Then, he bows and says a prayer to the Virgin Mary.

Anon used to pray a lot more when he was younger. However, praying didn't become a daily routine when he moved out of his parent's house. He only prays when he remembers to. This night was one such night.

When he finishes praying, Anon begins to eat his soup. He gets about three spoonfuls in when he hears a knock on the door. Anon scrunched his eyebrows and looked at the door—the second series of knocking sounds. Anon grumbles to himself as he gets up. He opens the door and gets a surprising sight. The ponies that came to his house earlier are standing at the door.

"What are you doing here?" Anon asks, trying to sound polite.

"You didn't come to the castle for dinner, so we came to check on you," Celestia explains.

"Not to be rude, but I don't think you remember that I said I couldn't make any promises about coming to supper at the castle. My appearance would be based upon the timing of the completion of my project," Anon explains. "Hence us standing here and not at the castle."

They stand silent until Princess Celestia catches a whiff of Anon's soup. She looks past Anon and spots the large pot on the table.

"What kind of soup is that?" she asks curiously.

"Broccoli and cheddar," Anon responds. "Come on in and have some. I'm going to assume you've already had supper, though?"

"Just a light one. I still have some room, though," Twilight admits. The same happened with Spike and Luna.

Anon motions for the group to come inside the house. The guards try to stay outside, but Anon insists they come in. They walk inside and head into the dining room.

"You may have to cast a duplication spell on the bowls, spoon, and chairs. I typically don't get visitors, so I didn't buy multiple sets," Anon says.

"How did you know that we could do that?" Luna asks suspiciously.

Anon shrugs. "Lucky guess."

Princess Celestia casts the spell, and eight chairs, spoons, and bowls appear. After that, Anon dips the soup into the bowls with a spoon. While the ponies eat the soup, Anon walks over to the cupboard and pulls out a medium-sized bottle of bourbon and two small glasses. He sets the glasses on the table and pours some into them. He pushes a glass toward Luna.

"A little pony told me that you have a taste in alcoholic beverages," Anon tells Luna. He sits down in his chair.

"And who told you that?" Luna asks as she takes the glass up in her magic. She looks at the dark liquid closely.

"The biggest loudmouth in Equestria," Anon responds.

"Lady Rainbow Dash?" Luna is unamused.

"Bingo." Anon snaps his fingers and points a finger gun at Luna.

Anon picks up his glass and toasts to good health. Luna and Anon knock back the drinks. Luna's eyes bulge. Everypony watches Luna begin to wince as the liquid burns down her throat. Although it isn't the most vital thing she's drunk, this drink is strong enough to give her an instant buzz.

"What the hell was that?" Luna asks. Anon cracks a smile at Luna's use of a curse word. "It had the smoothness of bourbon but the buck of vodka.

"It's bourbon, but I added a little tequila to give it that kick," Anon replies. "Did you like it, though?"

"I must admit, it's better than ponies' other concoctions."

"I'll take it."

Anon offers some to Princess Celestia, who declines, as do Twilight and the guards. Celestia explains that the guards are not allowed to drink on the job. Then, Anon and Luna start a conversation about alcoholic beverages and, strangely enough, about the Equestrian Armed Forces.

The group talks as they go through several servings of the soup. Princess asks Anonymous some questions to show Twilight how to ask questions without being prying or pushing boundaries. However, the primary reason is to get to know Anonymous better. Much to everyone's surprise, Anon answers the questions without being snarky or rude.

When the conversations begin to die, Celestia looks at Twilight, saying, "It's time."

Twilight immediately gets nervous, but Celestia has that motherly look in her eyes. She takes a deep breath and faces Anon.

"Anon," Twilight says.

" 'Sup," Anon replies.

"I owe you an apology," Twilight takes another deep breath and continues. "I'm sorry for trying to pry into your personal life. I didn't realize that talking about your past was sensitive to you. I'm also sorry for trying to force ponies on you so you could make friends. I didn't see how my actions were affecting you. I hope you can accept my apology and forgive me."

Anon glares at Twilight with a blank stare. He crosses his arms.

"I accept your apology, Twilight, but forgiving you will take some time." Anon leans forward and speaks coldly. "Taking time to forgive you may seem stupid and unnecessary, but it isn't to me. You asked questions about a topic I didn't feel comfortable talking about. Even this conversation borders on my comfort zone. If we were close friends, I wouldn't have had a problem sharing that stuff with you, but we aren't. I don't want my insecurities or things like that getting out because, from what I've seen, ponies are almost exactly like humans. They will gossip, say things behind my back, and spread rumors that aren't true. That severely pisses me off behind comprehension. However, you scored a few brownie points by having the audacity to apologize.". Anon stands up, walks to the front door, and opens it. "I need some air. I'll be right back."

Anon closes the door and sits in a chair on the reconstructed porch. Not long after Anon sits down, Princess Celestia walks onto the patio. She sits down on the porch next to Anon. They sit in silence for a few minutes. It's so quiet that Anon can hear every move and breath Celestia takes.

He looks over at the white alicorn. She is as majestic and beautiful as the ponies of Ponyville had described her. Well, a little less if Anon is being honest with himself. The ponies made Celestia and Luna out to be goddesses. When he met them that afternoon, they weren't goddesses. They were just royals with godlike powers.

"You're different than I expected you to be," Anon says.

Celestia turns her head and meets Anon's gaze. "How so?" she asks.

"You don't treat me like the ponies around here. They treat me like I'm some monster, yet you treat me with kindness. I expected you to be like an over-pampered, know-it-all goddess or something to that effect," Anon explains. "Why do you treat me with kindness?"

"My response is, do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Then, Anon feels guilt course through his body. He remembers that phrase from Mass when he was younger. However, Anon remembers how he treated the ponies rudely simply because he wanted to be alone. Anon dislikes Twilight, but he knows he could've treated her nicely. "Now, I feel like an asshole. I've been rude to many ponies lately and have no excuse. I'm no more innocent than Twilight is."

"It's understandable to feel that way, Anonymous. When Mother told me that phrase as a filly, it convicted me in more ways than you realize. It's good to be convicted of a transgression because you recognize that what you did was wrong. Your anger and hostility possibly turned away potential friends, but the good thing is that it's not too late. You just got off on the wrong hoof, that's all. For example, Luna didn't like you at first, but after your conversation with her about alcoholic beverages and the military, I think she's warmed up to you."

"My parents always told me that I was an acquired taste."

Celestia is confused.

"I thought you didn't like talking about your family," Celestia says.

"I don't. I told you that because you're different from everyone else, there's another reason why you're different. You took the time to get to know me. You asked the usual 'get to know you' questions and listened to my responses. Very few people have done that. I'm trying to say that you gained my trust, and I don't trust many people. As if it wasn't obvious."

"Thank you, Anonymous. I appreciate that. Honestly, I think you're a kind stall...er...human. I believe the Anonymous I saw tonight is true, not the one the ponies think you are."

The two sit silently for a moment before Anon turns to Celestia again.

"Speaking of getting off on the wrong foot, would it be possible if we started over? I was an asshole earlier this afternoon, and I apologize," Anon says.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea, and I accept your apology," Celestia replies.

Anon awkwardly sticks out his hand for Celestia to shake. He smiles a nervous smile.

"Hi, I'm Anonymous, but ponies around here call me Anon," Anon greets.

Celestia sets her hoof in Anon's hand and smiles a friendly smile. The two shake hands, or whatever you would call it.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Anon. I am Princess Celestia, Princess of the Sun and co-ruler of Equestria. However, my friends call me Tia."

A Test Of Friendship

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Chapter 3

Anon wakes up as the sun shines through his bedroom window and onto his face. His eyes open as he blocks the beams with his hand. Once fully awake, Anon stretches, walks out of his bedroom, and onto the front porch. A warm breeze blows through Anon's hair, which has grown four inches long. The birds are singing, and a few frogs are also croaking. A couple of pegasi fly through the air. The sunrise only adds to the peace and tranquility of the cozy town of Ponyville. Anon smiles as he breathes in the morning air. Today is going to be a good day.

It has been over a month since Anon first met Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. They visit him every few days to check on him. However, as time went on, Celestia was the one who came to see Anon the most. She visited even more than Twilight, whom he made amends with.

When Celestia would come by, they would talk about each other's worlds and compare and contrast. However, they didn't talk much about each other. So, the last few times Princess Celestia visited, with Luna coming along on two occasions, they got to know each other rather than talk about the worlds they came from. The times they did talk about each other usually involved Anon intentionally sharing something about his past or family. Although, it typically wasn't in great detail. Now, it is to the point where Celestia and Anon know each other better than anypony else, save for Luna.

Today was one of those days when Princess Celestia would visit Anon. They were going on a picnic near the river about half a mile behind Anon's house. Celestia isn't coming until lunchtime because of morning court, so to kill time, Anon had decided to busy himself with his freelancing job.

Anon goes back inside and gets dressed for the day. As usual, he wears jeans and a t-shirt and attaches his knife to his belt. Then, he eats a bowl of fruit salad for breakfast with a glass of hard apple cider. He cleans up his dishes and grabs his hat. Anon locks up his house, and he walks towards Sweet Apple Acres.

Anon passes a few of the townsponies as he walks down the street. They either give him a wave or give him a slight nod. It's odd to Anon because a month ago, ponies avoided him like he had the plague. Now, they don't mind being associated with him. The ponies don't even steer clear of him, as well. Even a few foals approached Anon wanting to get a high-five or a hoof bump. The local school teacher, Ms. Cheerilee, even invited Anon to the school to talk about his species a few days earlier. However, Anon knows the ponies' opinion of him has changed because the princesses trust him. To him, it is slightly pathetic that the ponies trust him because their princesses do. Although Anon doesn't mind being charged, much less liked, for once in his life.

Eventually, Anon reaches the farm. The Apple's collie named Winona spots him as he approaches. Winona barks happily and runs up to Anon. She lays on her back, wanting a belly rub. Anon gives her one. Winona used to be highly skittish around Anon because he ran through the farm like a timberwolf after a deer four months ago. Now, she enjoys it when Anon comes by.

Anon walks up to the house, which looks like a barn and knocks on the door. He hears hoofsteps. The door opens, and Anon sees Applejack.

"Howdy, Anon. You're right on time," she says.

"That's a good thing, isn't it?" Anon asks.

"I'd say so. Come on in." Applejack motions for Anon to follow her.

Anon follows Applejack into the house, up the stairs, and into a bedroom. Applejack's younger sister and older brother, Apple Bloom and Big Mac, are attempting to move a large dresser. They struggle as they try to push it out of the room. Anon stifles a laugh at the sight.

"Umm, guys. Need some help?" Anon asks.

"Eeyup," Big Mac replies.

"Alright, Apple Bloom and Applejack, clear a path to the barn, especially keeping animals out of the way. I don't want to be responsible for the death of one of your animals," Anon suggests.

"Sounds like a plan to me, Anon. Come on, Apple Bloom," Applejack says. She motions for her sister to follow her. Then, Applejack and Applebloom walk out of the bedroom, leaving Anon and Big Mac.

"I've got a question. Can earth ponies stand on their hind legs?" Anon asks Big Mac when the sisters leave.

"Eeyup," Big Mac replies. "But only for a short time."

"That works for me. We can pick this chest o' drawers up on the bottom and carry it out."

"That'll work."

Anon squats down and places his hands underneath the chest. Big Mac follows suit. Then, they lift the chest slowly and carry it out of the house and to the barn. They move furniture for almost two hours. Thankfully, Applejack and Apple Bloom begin repairing, sanding, and staining the wooden table, which speeds up the process. When Big Mac and Anon finish moving the furniture into the barn, they help the mares. They work in silence until they take a short break.

"So Big Mac, Spike tells me you are into Dungeons and Dragons. Is that true?" Anon says.

"You could say that," Big Mac replies.

"Into it? He and his friends dress up as the characters they play," Apple Bloom says.

"That's part of the game," Big Mac defends himself.

"Where I come from, we call that cosplay," Anon announces. "I ask because Spike asked me to play with him sometime. Since you and I are acquaintances, he thought we could play as a group. I turned him down, though."

Big Mac raises an eyebrow.

"Why," he asks.

"Not my kind of game," Anon says.

"Suit yourself," Big Mac says as he shrugs his shoulders.

Anon didn't like D&D because Anon's brother was obsessed with it. Thus, causing Anon to despise the game. What bothered Anon the most was that his parents spent hundreds of dollars on the various items David "needed." Anon rarely received ten bucks from his parents.

"What do you like?" Apple Bloom asks.

Anon rubs his chin. Facial hair pricks his fingers as he does this.

"I like reading history books, money, and hanging out with friends," Anon replies.

"History? Boooorrrriiiinnggg," Apple Bloom says.

"Have you tried imagining as if you were at the event?"

Apple Bloom shakes her head."

"Let me try it out on you. Close your eyes, and I'll tell you a story," Anon says. "Applejack and Big Mac, you can try this, too."

The Apple siblings close their eyes and listen to Anon's story.

"You are a Spartan warrior. A Spartan is a human warrior from the city-state of Sparta. You wear armor similar to the Equestrian Armed Forces and carry identical weapons. You have a 30-pound shield on your left arm. It is heavy, but you are used to the weight. You hold a large spear in your right hand, and your prized sword is attached to your hip. The ground shakes, and battle cries ring out as over a hundred thousand Persian soldiers charge at your position, which is a narrow mountain pass. You know you will likely die alongside 300 of your fellow Spartans and 6,700 Greek warriors, but if it is to defend Greece, the god Zeus may look down on you with pride. King Leonidas and his captain, Artemis, are about three rows of men. As the Persian army closes in, he begins one of his famous battle speeches. It goes something like this:

'This is where we hold them! This is where we fight! This is where they die!'

Captain Artemis turns and looks almost directly at you. He shouts, 'Earn these shields, boys.'

You and your fellow Greek warriors let out a battle cry that sounds like a bark from a German Shepard.

'Remember this day, men, for it will be yours for all time,' King Leonidas continues as he looks at you and your fellow Greeks.

Then, the large Persian force stops as an officer rides forward on a horse. You almost laugh as the filthy Persian tries to delay the inevitability of his death. Your friend nudges you with his shield and says the Persian is a fool. You nod your head in agreement.

'Greeks lay down your weapons,' the Persian shouts.

Captain Artemis hurls a spear at the officer and kills him. You see his body fall to the ground with a spear protruding from his chest. King Leonidas crouches with his spear and shield raised. The rest of the Greeks follow, forming the famous phalanx formation.

'Persians, come and get them.' King Leonidas bellows.

A horn blows, and the sizeable Persian force again charges at you. You grit your teeth as you mentally prepare for the battle. King Leonidas says one final thing before the Persians collide with the Greek force.

'Give them nothing, but take from them...everything!' "

The Apple siblings open their eyes as Anon finishes the story. He can see the amazement in their eyes.

"Did that battle happen?" Apple Bloom asks, still amazed.

"Yep. The Battle of Thermopylae is one of the most famous battles in my world's history. Historians are fascinated with the battle, even today," Anon responds.

"Did the Greeks win the battle?" Big Mac asks.

Anon rubs the back of his head. He doesn't want to disappoint the Apples, but he tells them anyway.

"They didn't. The Greek force managed to hold off the Persians for four days, but most were killed, including King Leonidas and most of the three-hundred Spartans. Only 600 Greek warriors, including one Spartan, survived to tell the tale. Eventually, there was a naval battle at Salamis where a general from another city-state called Athens, named Themistokles, beat the Persian navy. After the Greek victory at Salamis, Persia left Greece alone. If it weren't for the sacrifice of King Leonidas and the Greeks at Thermopylae, Greece wouldn't be free," Anon explains.

"I'm gonna assume that his famous battle speech was real, too," Applejack says.

"Actually, no. The speech was from a movie called 300. The movie is historically inaccurate, though. It depicts the 300 Spartans going against over a million Persians," Anon replies.

"I can see how that's unrealistic."

Anon looks up at the sun to see what time it is. It's 11:00 am, and Princess Celestia is coming at noon. A shocked expression comes across his face.

"Oh, crap. I've got to finish this job," Anon says as he grabs a paintbrush from a can of wood stain.

"Whatcha in a hurry for?" Applejack asks.

Anon begins staining the bedposts as quickly as he can. "I've got a friend coming over at noon. It's already 11:00, and I must do a few more things before they arrive."

"Why didn't you say you had somepony comin' over? Tell you what; you go ahead and finish the few things you must do, and I'll pay you the full amount. I can get one of the unicorns in town to help us," Applejack says.

"I didn't finish the job, so pay me 15 bits, and I'll be on my way."

"25 bits."

"20."

"23 bits."

Anon stares at Applejack blankly. His blank expression is replaced by a grin that comes across his lips. He finds Applejack's stubbornness amusing and exciting. It reminds him of himself.

"Twenty bits is my offer," Anon offers.

"Thirty-five is mine, and it's final," Applejack declares. "Take it or leave it."

"Deal."

Applejack gallops out of the barn and towards her house. Five minutes later, she comes back with a small leather sack in her mouth. She drops it at Anon's feet. He squats down and picks it up. Anon dumps out the small coins, and seven five-bit coins fall into his hand. After some quick math, the amount comes to the agreed-upon amount. He nods, slips the coins into the sack, and jogs out of the barn.

"I swear that human is more ornery than a bull in a brandin' pin," Applejack proclaims.

"Don't that sound familiar," Big Mac grumbles.

Ten minutes later, Anon arrives at his house. He opens the door and walks inside. Anon puts the bits in his money jar disguised as a cookie jar. Then, Anon enters his bedroom and grabs two books he borrowed from Twilight's library. One book is called The Art of War, written by Flash Magnus, a Pillar of Equestria. The other book, Magic: The Cornerstone of Equestria, was written by Star Swirled the Bearded, another Pillar of Equestria.

Since Anon forgave Twilight about two weeks ago, Twilight decided to make it up to him. One of the things she did was let Anon borrow some books, as long as he didn't damage the books. When he finished the books, Anon would sit down with Twilight and talk about them. Anon thought Twilight was going overboard, but he let her so she wouldn't stress over it.

Anon makes sure the books are in good condition. Then, he grabs a few bits from his money jar and walks out of his house. As soon as he steps outside, ice-cold water splashes all over Anon. A metal bucket clatters across the porch. Anon is entirely soaked, as well as the books. He hears raspy laughter come from a nearby oak tree branch. He scowls at Rainbow Dash.

"Hahaha. You should've seen the look on your face," Rainbow Dash laughs.

"Have you lost your fucking mind?!" Anon shouts. "Not only did you soak me, but you also soaked Twilight's books!"

"It's just a couple of books, Anon. Chill."

Anon raises The Art of War.

"Flash Magnus wrote this book, a Pillar of Equestria you are familiar with. This book is an original copy." Anon raises the other book. "This book is called Magic: The Cornerstone of Equestria. It was written by Star Swirled the Bearded, the mentor of the princesses. It is also an original copy."

Rainbow Dash had stopped laughing when Anon mentioned Flash Magnus. She flew down to Anon's level and looked at the books. The amusement has drained from her face. Her eyes are wide, and her mouth is wide open.

"So next time you prank me, try not to damage relatively ancient texts," Anon snaps. "I won't be taking the fall for this."

Anon walks briskly toward Twilight's palace. This isn't the first time that one of Rainbow Dash's pranks has destroyed something in his possession. About ten days ago, Anon was walking back from Sugar Cube Corner, carrying Princess Celestia's favorite cake in a box. The cyan pegasus came behind and blasted an air horn in his ear. Anon threw the cake, and it landed on the ground. Anon tried asking Rainbow Dash to stop; he even tried bribing her. However, each attempt failed. So, Anon decides to go with his last resort, which is asking for help from Princess Twilight Sparkle.

Eventually, he arrives at Twilight's castle, the Castle of Friendship. Anon pushes the large doors open. He walks through the entrance and searches for the library. Anon finds the library, with Twilight sitting on a beanbag, reading a book. Her friend Starlight Glimmer sits beside her, with a book surrounded by a light-blue aura in front of her. The two ponies didn't notice Anon as he approached. He clears his throat. Twilight and Starlight jump and look up at the green-skinned human.

"Oh, I didn't see you there, Anon," Twilight apologizes. "Why are you soaking wet?" She sees Anon, his typical blank stare on his face, so she knows something's wrong.

"Take a wild guess," Anon grumbles as he shivers.

"Rainbow Dash?"

Anon nods.

Twilight puts her hoof on her muzzle. "I've got to talk to that mare."

"You'd better talk to her soon since her pranks seem to damage other people's property," Anon says. He holds up the two ruined books.

Twilight's eyes widen as she sees the damaged books. Starlight has the same reaction. Twilight uses her magic to levitate the book from Anon's hands. She flips the pages and sees black ink streaks on each page. Some of the ink had bled onto the other pages. Twilight lays the books on the ground next to her beanbag. She is silent, which slightly concerns Anon for a moment.

"What makes this situation worse is that those books aren't even mine," she says.

Anon leans his head forward. "Who do they belong to?" Anon asks, sounding confused.

"Flash Magnus's book belongs to my brother, Shining Armor. The other is Princess Celestia's book."

"Oh, shit," Anon mumbles.

Twilight shakes her head as if she is breaking out of a daydream. She realizes that Anon hasn't met Starlight Glimmer. She curses herself silently for forgetting to introduce them.

"Anon, this is Starlight Glimmer?" Twilight asks.

"We've met," Anon deadpans as he shifts his gaze to Starlight. They both nod to acknowledge each other.

Twilight raises an eyebrow. "When?"

"When ran into each other at the school when Anon was talking about his species," Starlight explains. "He left when Snips brought up...the birds and the bees and how it relates to the human race.

Anon distinctly remembers that day. The slightly annoying colt had asked where "human foals" came from. Anon had no intention of telling little foals about human sexual relationships, so he tried to use the stork delivery service instead. The foals didn't fall for it. Cheerilee had stepped in to save Anon from an embarrassing topic. Anon makes a mental note to thank her for that.

"Yeah, I never thought I'd see a human blush that hard," Starlight states.

"There's nothing like avoiding discussing sex with a bunch of children," Anon says. "That sounds like a parents' job to me."

There's a beat before Anon speaks again.

"I've got to get going. A friend is coming over in less than an hour, so I need to finish my to-do list," Anon announces.

"I didn't know Spike was going to your place today."

"It's not, Spike. It's someone else."

"Who?"

"Noneya."

"Who's 'Noneya'?"

"None ya business."

Anon turns around and leaves the library.

"He's a little ray of sunshine," Starlight says sarcastically as Anon closes the door.

"Anon can be kind when he's in a good mood. Right now, he's sort of, for lack of better terms, pretty pissed off."

"I could tell."

Anon walks down the street towards Sugar Cube Corner. He mentally checks off his to-do list. One more thing to do. He had put in an order for a double chocolate cake with fudge frosting. Anon discovered that that specific kind of cake was Princess Celestia's favorite. So whenever she came to Ponyville, Anon prepared cake and tea. Anon doesn't like to drink tea, so he sticks with hard apple cider or bourbon.

He arrives at the bakery and opens the front door. A small bell jingles as the door hits it. As Anon walks inside, he sees townsponies in line and eating the sugary treats they purchased at some tables. Anon patiently waits in line until it's his turn to be served. Mrs. Cake smiles a friendly smile as Anon approaches.

"Hello there, Anon-" Mrs. Cake greets, "-what can I do for you?"

"I'm here to pick up my cake order."

"Oh, yes. Let me tell Pinkie Pie to get it for you."

Anon steps aside as Mrs. Cake calls out to Pinkie. Within moments, Pinkie walks out of the kitchen with a bright pink box on her head. She arrives at the counter and carefully slides the box on top of it. Anon reaches into his pocket to grab the bits.

"One double chocolate cake with fudge frosting, as requested," Pinkie says with a cheerful smile.

"Thanks, Pinkie. How much will it cost?"

"Fifteen bits."

Anon sets 20 bits worth of coins on the counter.

"Keep the change, Pinkie. Consider it a trip."

"Thank you," Pinkie thanks. "So...I guess our mutual friend is coming today." Anon nods.

Being Ponyville's number one baker, Pinkie Pie knows everyponies favorite dessert, including Princess Celestia. When Anon frequently ordered this specific cake, Pinkie Pie put two and two together. She had asked Anon if Princess Celestia had been visiting him. He didn't deny it, but he made her promise not to tell anyone, even Twilight. He didn't want ponies coming around disturbing him and Celestia. Surprisingly, Anon found that he could trust her with this secret mainly because he discovered that Pinkie's "Pinkie Promise" wasn't some childish bullshit scam.

"I hope you have a good time with your friend and tell your friend I said 'hi,' "Pinkie Pie says.

"I will," Anon promises.

Anon turns around and leaves Sugar Cube Corner. He takes more precautionary measures than usual to ensure Rainbow Dash doesn't attempt to pull another one of her "harmless pranks." The amount of bullshit in that description. Interestingly enough, it was Fluttershy who said that. Anon wasn't too hard on her because he viewed her as a doormat. Not that he knew from experience.

Anyway, Anon walks back to his house without falling victim to pranks or being stopped. He arrives just in time for the clock to show at 11:55 am. Anon sets the cake on the table and takes some finger foods he made out of the fridge. Afterward, he puts some silverware and two glasses next to the food. Princess Celestia was supplying the picnic baskets, so Anon didn't need to pack up any of the stuff.

When Anon finished setting the stuff out, he went into his bedroom and changed into his shorts. He laid his knife on his nightstand. Then, he sat on his couch and began to read another book Twilight let him borrow. It is called the Tale of the Two Sisters. He started when he left off. It was when Celestia and Luna's parents, King Cosmos and Queen Galaxia, had just passed away, and the mantle of Rulers of Equestria fell upon the daughters.

Anon had found it interesting that Cosmos and Galaxia not only moved the sun and moon; they protected the planet from other celestial bodies, like comets, meteors, or even rogue stars and planets. They were so powerful that some ponies believed them to be gods and worshipped them.

During the reign of Celestia and Luna, Anon reads about many wars, countless battles, and the many villains they defeated. Eventually, Anon reads about the fall and banishment of Princess Luna. That part shocks him. Was Luna a bit dark and morbid? Sure, but not so dark to where she would try overthrowing her sister and bringing Equestria into an eternal night. The banishment is difficult for Anon to comprehend—one thousand years on the moon. Anon can't even begin to imagine the sorrow that Princess Celestia had to go through during those 1,000 years.

Anon is snapped out of his deep thought when he hears someone knocking on the door. He glances at the clock as he gets up. It is 12:45 pm. He opens the door, and Princess Celestia is standing there with two picnic baskets, surrounded by her magic, floating behind her.

"Hello, Anon," she greets.

"Hey, Tia. Come on in," Anon says as he gestures for her to enter.

"Forgive me for being late. Morning court took longer than I anticipated."

"What happened?" Anon motions for Celestia to sit on the couch.

"For the most part, the court was fine. However, the final patrons to come in caused morning court to extend past its ending time."

"Can I assume that the patrons were being unreasonable?"

"You could say that. It was two noble ponies. They came to me to settle a dispute of whose child's wedding I should attend first."

Anon tries to stifle a laugh. He puts his hand over his mouth to cover up his smile. Princess Celestia notices this and looks at Anon with a look on her face that he's never seen before. It's frustration.

"What's so funny?" she asks.

"Sorry, Tia. Two ponies come to you asking to settle something that they could settle themselves. The argument itself is ridiculous. It's so ridiculous, I found it funny," Anon explains.

"It's okay, Anon. My day has been so frustrating. I love my little ponies and all, but it is aggravating when they come to me to be the judge in every single petty dispute they have."

"Nothing like dealing with over-pampered, egotistical, megalomaniacs. I know the type."

Princess Celestia and Anon sit in awkward silence for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Anon. I didn't mean to vent to you about my day," Princess Celestia apologizes.

"I vent to you all the time. It's only fair that you get to do it," Anon reassures.

"Let's go on our picnic as we planned. I'm famished."

Celestia and Anon get up from their seats on the couch. They place Anon's things that he had set out in the picnic baskets. Then, the two leave Anon's house and walk to the woods behind Anon's house. Princess Celestia carries the two baskets while Anon leads them through the woods. After about ten minutes, they arrived at the spot that Anon had designated as the picnic spot.

The spot is ten feet from the river, flowing slowly and quietly. Princess Celestia can tell the area has been cleared—more than likely by Anon. A small waterfall is upstream, which adds to the area's beauty. The water is practically transparent. Upon seeing the site, Princess Celestia's frustration, irritation, and exhaustion fade away. She lays a red-and-white plaid picnic blanket beside a large sweet gum tree. Next, she sets the picnic baskets on the blanket. Anon sits down next to Princess Celestia. They open the baskets and begin taking the food and drinks. Then, they begin to eat.

"Someone tells me you speak highly of your students. I mean the ones you teach personally," Anon says, trying to initiate a conversation.

"Well, of course. The unicorns at my School of Gifted Unicorns who show the most promise are some most powerful foals in Equestria. As you probably learned, Twilight Sparkle was one of those students."

"How many students have had that privilege?"

Celestial pauses as she counts how many students she has taken under her wing.

"I would say several dozen. Mind you. The school has existed for millennia, so an accurate number would be difficult to develop."

"Did you have students that...well...didn't measure up? Maybe let go is a better term. Not trying to be rude, but I'm just curious."

Princess Celestia paused again to think, not to count but to reminisce. Her heart aches as she remembers the student. Anon sees her face become downcast.

"I had one student that I taught personally long before Twilight. I didn't let her go. She abandoned her studies. The student's name was Sunset Shimmer. Sunset's magical abilities were impressive. Her abilities rivaled Twilight's when she was my student. However, at the time, Sunset was impatient. When she didn't become more powerful as quickly as she wanted, she abandoned her magic studies and went to the parallel dimension of our world," Princess Celestia explains. "Later on, Twilight helped reform her through an adventure to that dimension. But my failure to show Sunset the error of her ways still haunts me. What happened to Sunset Shimmer is my second greatest failure."

"I'm going to assume that Luna's transformation into Nightmare Moon was your greatest failure."

"How did you find that out? Not that it's a big secret or anything, but it's a darker time in our history. Or Luna's history.

" I've been reading the Tale of the Two Sisters recently. The book is an interesting read. However, the story seems extremely vague, surrounding what caused Nightmare Moon to overthrow you. I had a few questions about that, if you don't mind."

Celestia sighs. "Sure, go ahead."

"The author says that Luna became Nightmare Moon because of her jealousy of you since you were the favorite, but the author implies that more caused her descent. I read further, but were was nothing said about it. Was there more that caused her descent?"

"Yes, there was. It was vague because I didn't want to violate LuLu's privacy. When Mother and Father passed away, we took over their roles as rulers of Equestria and their responsibilities. Not only did we raise the sun and moon, but we also waged war whenever we needed to. When Equestria went to war, Luna would lead our armies while I ran the country. Sometimes, I would join her in combat, fighting side-by-side. She was a fearless, sometimes reckless, warrior. She was always happy when she came home victorious, but I never saw it as just a 'happy face' mask. Several centuries of battle and losing countless stallions and mares on the battlefield took a toll on her. I never caught on. Therefore, I never tried to help her with her pain. Her jealousy of me, the grief of losing so many soldiers, and her anger that I didn't try to console her caused her to become Nightmare Moon. I didn't realize she was jealous of me because our parents never showed favoritism. After all, they loved us equally. Luna's anger at me was not misplaced.
When she was at her lowest point, I brushed her off and acted like it would pass with time. I realized all of this until it was too late."

"I completely understand that," Anon says as he puts a grape in his mouth.

"How so?" Princess Celestia asks.

"I've been where you and Luna were when I was younger. As you may remember, I was not a fan of my younger brother. He was the favorite, much like you were."

"I remember. Though, you never told me why."

Anon sighs deeply and continues. "My parents decided to choose my job for me. They wanted me to be a fucking doctor, of all things. I didn't want to be a doctor when I was about eight. I wanted to join the army and be a soldier. Special Forces, more specifically. For some odd reason, my brother was interested in being a doctor. That's when my parents began to pamper him. They bought everything he wanted, including items that helped him become a doctor. One time, my brother wanted a high-powered microscope for Christmas. That piece of shit cost 1,500 dollars. They bought it for him, among other things. I only wanted a new pair of shoes that cost 50 dollars and a football. Did I get the things I asked for? Nope. Their lousy-ass excuse was that they couldn't fit it into the Christmas budget. They spent 3,000 dollars on my brother and 50 dollars on me. My parents treated me like I was some disgrace. Everything I did was not good enough, while my brother 'exceeded' my parents' standards. It was like that all through grade school. To be honest, I thought my brother was enjoying his lifestyle. In reality, he was miserable. There's a saying in my world that says rich people are the most miserable people. That applied to my brother. I only noticed it when I graduated high school but neglected to help him. He was a dick to me because he was the favorite, and everyone loved him. So, letting him suffer was my sick way of getting back to him. However, one day I had this feeling that he needed help. It was as if I could sense his pain. So, I rode my bicycle to my parent's home since my brother was in the 10th grade and still lived there. I managed to get into the house and check on my little brother. When I entered his room, I found my brother, but not in the way you'd think." Anon pauses. "He was hanging from the rafters with a makeshift noose around his neck. He'd killed himself, and I could've saved him. I was so angry at him, so I refused to help him."

Anon sits there in silence after he finishes. He is facing the river and stares off into the distance. A small tear falls from his eyes, and he sniffles a bit. It has been a while since Anon has cried, although he isn't crying profusely. Then, he feels Celestia's large wing wrap around him, pulling him into a tight hug. Anon tenses up, but he soon relaxes. It is the first time he's received a hug from Princess Celestia. It's the first hug he's gotten a hug in years. Celestia's silky fur presses against his body and her soft feathers slightly brush against his arm. Admittedly, Anon thought the hug felt nice. He silently sheds a few more tears fall on Celestia's body. She notices this and uses magic to pick up a napkin to wipe Anon's tears. But Anon pushes the napkin way.

"It's okay to cry, Anon," Celestia assures.

"Not to me, Tia. Crying shows weakness, and I don't like being seen as weak." Anon stands up and wipes his nose. "Enough of the sappy, emotional bullshit. I'm going for a swim."

Anon takes off his shirt and tosses it on the ground. Then, he takes off his shoes and socks. Princess Celestia blushes. She catches herself gawking at Anon's well-built physique. Celestia feels like a school-filly watching an attractive colt from across the schoolyard. Not that she has experienced that feeling herself. Until now. She shakes her head to break from her trance. By this time, Anon is waist-deep in the river. Soon, he is deep enough to swim without touching the bottom. Anon swims over to the large rock protruding on the other side of the river. He climbs on it and sits down.

"Are you coming?!" Anon shouts.

"I'd rather stay here!" Princess Celestia replies. It's been a while since she's taken a swim, making her hesitant.

"Oh, come on, Tia! The water feels great!"

"Well. If you insist."

Princess Celestia uses her magic to remove her royal regalia, which she lays next to the picnic baskets. She walks into the river and shivers as the cold water approaches the base of her neck. She swims best to a large rock like the one Anon sits on. When Celestia arrives, she pulls herself up but leaves her lower half submerged in the water.

"Are you okay? You seem already exhausted from swimming," Anon chuckles.

"I'm alright. It's been a while since I've swum," Celestia replies.

"There is a shallow area about five feet past the rock I'm sitting on," Anon points his thumbs behind him.

Celestia slowly swims over to that spot. Her hooves barely touch the ground without her neck being submerged.

"The water gets deeper as you get closer to the waterfall. It gets to be about ten or twelve feet deep. Perfect depth for jumping off the waterfall," Anon explains.

"Jumping off the waterfall sounds dangerous, don't you think?" Celestia says.

"It's better than wading across the rapids about 100 yards upstream, which isn't as fun as it sounds."

"You're talking from experience, I assume?"

Anon nods his head. "I only made it ten feet before I realized I was out of my depth. No pun intended."

Princess Celestia chuckles. "Very clever, Anon."

Anon swims over to Celestia. He teaches her a game or two. He also teaches her how to swim like a human. Easier said than done. It surprises Anon to see Celestia having a good time. She acts like a typical mare, having fun in the river, unlike a royal goddess forcing herself to have fun. She laughs like a foal and does foalish things, like splashing Anon with water. He does the same thing, as well. Anon and Celestia see sides of each other that they didn't know existed. They played and laughed for hours on end.

Eventually, Anon and Princess Celestia end up at the picnic site. It's about 5:30 pm. Anon is on his back, letting the sun dry him. Celestia is close by, doing the same thing. The sun's warmth relaxes Anon to the point where he almost falls asleep. He sits up and turns his head towards Princess Celestia to keep from falling asleep.

"You awake?" Anon asks.

"Mm-hm," Celestia replies.

"This afternoon reminds me of what my friends and I used to do when we were kids. A river ran behind our school, much like this one. We'd sometimes skip school and go swimming. We'd go to school, hide our backpacks, and go for a swim. We didn't bring swimsuits the first time we did this, so we swam in our underwear. It was awkward at first since one of my friends was a girl that was...developing. Two guys and a girl being together while being half-naked isn't exactly excepted where I'm from."

"Why not?" Celestia asks curiously.

"The only time a man and a woman are together in their underwear, or naked, is usually when they are about to...passionately fornicate."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"I must admit, your customs are bizarre."

"That's putting it mildly. In some cultures in our dimension, women have to cover themselves completely. Some religion thing."

"Back to your childhood story, were you ever caught by the teachers?"

Anon shakes his head. "Nope. We started doing that when we were in the 7th grade. The school never noticed our absence because we didn't skip school often. Our parents never found out either, not that mine cared. When three out of 700 students don't show up for school, who gives a shit?"

Anon lays back down and closes his eyes. He is on the verge of falling asleep until he hears something. It's a shriek, and it came from far off. The shriek came from upstream. Anon sits up again and looks in the direction he hears the shriek. Princess Celestia heard it, as well. She turns her ears in the same direction Anon is looking. They both listen intently until they hear it again moments later.

"Who is that?" Princess Celestia asks.

"I don't know," Anon replies as he stands. "I'll check it out. Stay here."

"Okay, but be careful, Anon."

Anon walks up the path that runs along the river. Every couple of seconds, he hears the shriek again. It gets more apparent as he gets closer. To Anon, it sounds like a little filly. Then, two fillies on the bank of the river come into view. It is Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, an orphan pegasus that Rainbow Dash under her wing. They are at the rapids that Anon had tried to wade across. The roar of the river rapids almost deafens him. Then, he hears the shriek again. Anon's head snaps towards the river. They are perched on a rock in the middle of the rapids, Sweetie Belle, the foal-sister of Rarity. Anon sprints over to Scootaloo and Apple Bloom. They spot him, and their faces are filled with fear and panic.

"Anon, you gotta help us!!! Sweetie Belle is stuck!!!" Apple Bloom shouts.

"What is she doing out there?! These rapids are dangerous!" Anon yells.

"I...we...umm!" Scootaloo stutters.

"You know what?! Never mind! Stay here!"

Anon carefully takes a step into the rapids. He knows what he is doing is dangerous, but that is overshadowed by the fact that a filly is in danger. The force of the river almost pushes Anon down. He strolls and uses the nearby rocks to stabilize himself. He slips a couple of times, but he remains firm.

As the water rises and the current strengthens. Anon becomes afraid, so he resorts to prayer to calm his nerves.

"Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom comes, thy will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread. Forgive us of our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation. Deliver us from evil. God is the power, the kingdom, and the glory. Amen."

He repeats the Lord's prayer as he inches forward. He hopes that Sweetie Belle won't slip and fall. Having a dead filly on his hands would be awful. On the fifth time, he reaches Sweetie Belle. He stops to catch his breath. Anon sees the fear in Sweetie Belle's eyes. It's not fear, like getting frightened by a spider, but fear of death. Right now, Anon can relate to her.

"Sweetie Belle! I'm going to get you out of here!" Anon reassures. "I can't carry you in my arms, so we must improvise."

Anon thinks for a moment until he comes up with a plan.

"Reach over my shoulders and cross your legs! Try not to choke me to death!"

Anon squats down so Sweetie Belle can reach over him. She follows his order, and they begin the dangerous trek back to the shore. They are within twenty feet of the bank within three minutes of careful walking. Then, Anon's foot slides off of a rock. He hears a loud popping sound, and pain shoots up his left leg.

"Hijo de perra!! (Son of a bitch!!) Anon shouts.

He falls, and Sweetie Belle screams, but he grabs onto a large branch that is in the river. With one arm, he holds Sweetie Bell in place. He uses his other hand to pull himself up. Despite the pain, Anon limps to a nearby rock big enough to set Sweetie Belle on. Once Anon stabilizes himself, he turns to the fillies onshore.

"Apple Bloom, Princess Celestia is about 100 yards downstream! Tell her we need help and that I've probably broken my foot! Quickly!" Anon commands.

Apple Bloom runs down the path toward Princess Celestia. Anon bows his head and begins to pray again. This time he prays in Spanish.

"Virgen María, Santa Madre de Dios, permite que tu Hijo se apiade de mí. Si es Su voluntad que yo perezca, entonces Su voluntad se hará, pero por favor permite que tu Hijo libere a este inocente potro de las garras de la Muerte." (Virgin Mary, Holy Mother of God, allow thy son to have mercy on me. If it is His will for me to perish, then His will be done, but please allow thy son to spare this innocent foal from the clutches of Death.)

When Anon prays twice, he sees a flash of yellow on the bank. Apple Bloom is standing on the shore with Princess Celestia. The princess is shocked to see Anon in the middle of the rapids and sees a pained look on Anon's face. Her horn lights up and casts a teleportation spell. In an instant, Anon and Sweetie Belle are back on the shore. Anon is on his back while Sweetie Belle is standing. Celestia checks on Sweetie Belle. Celestia turned her attention to her injured friend when she showed no injury. Anon's foot is facing in an unnatural direction. His foot is dislocated.

"How bad is my foot?" Anon grunts.

"Your foot is dislocated. I'll have to reset it. Do you have anything you can bite down on?"

Anon nods as he pulls off his shirt. He puts some of it in his mouth and bites down on it. Once he is ready, Anon gives Celestia a slight nod. Princess Celestia commands the fillies to look away. The fillies comply. Then, Celestia uses her magic to put Anon's foot back into place. She winces as she hears Anon's muffled scream.

"You can look again, girls," Anon moans as she puts on his shirt. The fillies turn around. "Can one of you tell me why Sweetie Belle was in the middle of the rapids?"

The Cutie Mark Crusaders look at each other. They remain silent until Scootaloo speaks up.

"We've been sworn to secrecy," she answers.

Princess Celestia and Anon don't buy it.

"I'm serious, girls. Why was Sweetie Belle in the middle of the rapids?" Anon snaps.

"It was a dare. Somepony dared us to cross the rapids," Apple Bloom says.

"Who?" Celestia asks sternly.

"D...Diamond Tiara," Sweetie Belle admits.

Anon's blood boils. He knows that Diamond Tiara, the daughter of local millionaire Filthy Rich, is known to push other foals around and force them to do stuff for a laugh. All of that was for a laugh. Anon takes this personally because the same thing happened to him.

"Looks like I have a little discussion with someone tomorrow," Anon growls.

"Anon, we'll discuss that later. Right now, we need to get you home so you can rest," Celestia says.

Princess Celestia helps Anon to his feet and lets him rest against her as he walks. They walk with the CMC back to the picnic site. Celestia recruits the help of the foals to carry the picnic stuff back to Anon's house. As they walk through the woods, pain shoots through Anon's leg as he takes a step with his injured foot. He curses in Spanish every time pain courses through his leg to avoid scarring the fillies for eternity. If they heard him swear in English, it would explain to outraged parents why he was cursing around foals. That would be a cold day in Hell.

Eventually, the group makes it back to Anon's house. Once the stuff is placed in the kitchen, the CMC are sent away to return to their homes. Anon grabs clean underwear, a shirt, and another pair of shorts from his bedroom. He tells Celestia that he's taking a shower. She nods to acknowledge Anon's announcement.

Anon limps into the bathroom, which is off of the kitchen. He sets his clean clothes next to the sink and removes his dirty clothes, which he places in a pile next to the door. Anon turns on the water. He waits a few seconds before stepping into the shower. He closes the shower curtain and lets the hot water run over him. The hot water feels good on Anon's body. If Anon is honest, this is the best shower he's taken since arriving in Equestria. He faces the showerhead and leans against the wall to reduce the pressure on his injured foot. Then, Anon begins to contemplate the events of that day. Anon closes his eyes, and scenes of that day flash in front of him. The part that stands out the most was that afternoon. Not the picnic with Celestia, but rescuing Sweetie Belle from the rapids. Anon remembers the rescue's fear, adrenaline, and sounds. He's never saved anyone before, but it felt pretty damn awesome to do something good for once in his life.

When the water begins to cool, Anon breaks out of his trance. He finishes showering and dries himself off. Finally, Anon puts on his dry clothes. He picks up his dirty clothes, leaves the bathroom, and puts the dirty clothes in a laundry basket. The basket is almost complete, which causes Anon to groan.

"Fuck. I have to do laundry tomorrow," he grumbles as he limps to his drink cabinet. "Hey, Tia. Would you like something to drink?"

Sitting on the couch facing the window, Celestia turns to look at Anon. "It depends on what you have."

"Mostly alcohol. I've got something smooth, soft, hard, and non-alcoholic. Take your pick."

"After today's events, I'll have a drink from the 'Something Smooth' category."

"Good choice."

Anon picks up an expensive bottle of bourbon and two small glasses. He limps to the couches and sets the glasses on the coffee table. Anon pours Princess Celestia a drink, then one for himself. Then, Anon sits across from Celestia. They toast to good health and take a sip. The alcohol doesn't faze Anon, but Celestia begins to cough.

"Are you okay?" Anon chuckles as he takes another sip."

"I'm fine. It's been a while since I've had a bourbon," Celestia replies.

Anon finishes his glass and refills it.

"So, you said that we'd talk about confronting that entitled asswipe of a pony that practically tried to kill three of her classmates," Anon says. "Let's talk about it."

Celestia takes another sip of her drink. "I have no problem with having you confront Diamond Tiara, but you tend to act rashly when you are angry. I would feel better if either Filthy Rich or I was present. She might not have known the rapids were dangerous, so going slightly easy on her is our best bet during your confrontation."

"Whatever. The point is that a filly almost fucking died today, and I had to risk my neck to save her. She has to be punished."

Princess Celestia finishes her drink. She winces as she speaks again. "You seem to be taking this personally. Why is that?"

For the next two and a half hours, Anon tells Celestia about Henry Richards and all Henry did to entertain himself and his "minions." Some kids had severe injuries due to his dares, or "challenges," as Henry called them. Anon does this without calling Henry by name. He refers to him as "that asshole." As Anon goes on his tirade, he continues to drink. And drink. And drink. When Anon is close to finishing his rant, he is more than drunk. Anon is fucking hammered. Princess Celestia curses herself for letting Anon get this drunk.

"Anyhoo, that asshole tried to...tried to get the kid to suck his own-"

"Umm, Anon, maybe it's time to retire for the night. It's getting late," Celestia interrupts.

"No can do, Sunbutt. I'm not done...what's the word...ranting. Yeah, that's it."

"I would appreciate it if you wouldn't call me 'Sunbutt' Anon. Here. Let me help you get to bed."

"But I don't wanna." Anon is whining like a defiant foal.

Celestia rolls her eyes. She wraps her magic around Anon and carries him to his bedroom.

"Not fucking fair, Sunbutt," Anon grumbles.

Princess Celestia pulls back Anon's covers and sets him in the middle. Then, Anon begins to grope around in the dark. He pats the floor until he picks up a stuffed pony. Anon told her a few weeks ago that he owned a stuffed pony similar to the one in Equestria. However, he didn't confirm or deny that he had brought it.

"Hey, Thunder Clap, ol' buddy. It's good to see you," Anon says, ignoring that Celestia is still standing there.

Celestia pulls the covers over Anon. She turns to leave the house so she can return to Canterlot, but she hears Anon call out to her.

"Tia."

"Yes, Anon?"

"Can you stay with me until I go to sleep?"

Celestia stops and ponders Anon's drunken request. Finally, she agrees to stay with him. Anon pulls down the covers, rolls over on his side, and pats next to him. Celestia uses magic to remove her royal regalia and set it on a nearby desk. Then, she crawls into bed with Anon. He pulls the covers over them.

They lay in silence until Anon asks another question. "Tia, can you sing me a lullaby? Mom never sang me those."

"Sure, Anon."

For a moment, Celestia is silent as she thinks of a decent lullaby to sing. She settles on one her mother sang when she was a foal. It was her favorite song.

About halfway through the song, Princess Celestia hears Anon's shallow breathing. He is asleep, but she continues singing.

When she finishes, Celestia moves to leave Anon's bed. However, something is keeping her next to Anon. Anon's vulnerability when he is asleep is pressing her to stay. She decides to stay with Anon for the rest of the night. Tomorrow is Sunday, so there is no court day. Luna won't freak out because she knows where Celestia is.

Princess Celestia kisses the side of Anon's head. Then she wraps her forehooves around his torso. Once she is situated, Celestia nuzzles the nape of Anon's neck.

"Good night, my little human," she whispers.

It isn't long until Celestia falls asleep beside the one she loves.

Crime and Punishment

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Chapter 4

Anon's eyes flutter as the sun rises on another beautiful day in Equestria. The sun's rays shone on his face as they did every morning, except the rays were painfully bright today. Thunder Clap is still in Anon's arms, although Anon can't remember how he got there. A headache begins pounding in the front of Anon's head. Anon groans as he realizes that he has a hangover. Not the worst hangover he's had, but it's still pretty bad. Anon tries to roll over, but something is holding him in place. He assumes it's the alcohol that is still affecting his motor skills. Anon tries rolling over again. This time something groans next to him. It's a feminine groan, more than likely belonging to a mare. Anon looks under the covers and sees two white legs wrapped around his torso. Anon jerks around to see which mare is in bed with him. He comes face-to-face with Princess Celestia. Shock fills Anon's body.

"HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!" Anon screams.

He dives out of bed and scoots backward until his back is against the wall. Thunder Clap falls on the floor. Princess Celestia sits up when Anon screams. Her horn is lit up. She whips her head back and forth, searching for the danger.

"What is it, Anon? What's going on?" Celestia asks.

"What the hell are you doing in my bed?!" Anon shouts.

Celestia's yellow aura disappears around her horn.

"You asked me if I'd stay with you until you fell asleep. I decided it couldn't hurt to stay the night with you. Do you remember last night?"

"No. My headache and sensitivity to light tell me I was drunk off my ass."

"You were."

"That explains why I can't remember jack shit about last night. The last thing I remember is sitting on the couch talking to you. Everything after that is vague and blurry." Anon stands up and rubs his head. "You want some breakfast? I've got some leftover fruit salad, and I think I have some coffee grounds left."

"I've already taken care of that for you. I sent a message to Twilight early this morning saying that you and I will come to breakfast."

Anon furrows his eyebrows. "And she's okay with this, especially with a last-minute notice?"

"I'm sure she is."

"Knowing Twilight, she's probably in panicky, OCD mode right now."

"That's Twilight."

"Umm...could you step out so I can change for breakfast?"

Princess Celestia uses her magic to wear her royal regalia and leaves the bedroom. She closes the door behind her. Anon groans as he rubs his head. He slowly removes his sleeping clothes and puts on his work clothes, even though he isn't going to work. As usual, Anon straps on his KA-BAR knife. Then, he makes his bed and lays Thunder Clap on his pillow. Anon walks into the living room. Celestia is standing there patiently.

"Are you ready to go?" Anon asks Celestia. The alicorn princess nods her head. Anon grabs some money from his jar and pockets it.

The two friends leave Anon's house and walk toward Ponyville. As they walk into town, some ponies stare as their goddess of a princess walks by with Anon. Others bow before the Princess. Celestia nods politely every once in a while to acknowledge their offering of reverence. The constant looks that the two are bothering Anon. The reason is that he feels like some of those looks are negative ones. Does he blame them for that? Nope. They consider that Anon mistreated many of them in the first few months. Although, he's tried reestablishing his social stance. Most of the ponies accepted it, while others didn't. To keep his mind off of the looks of the town's ponies, Anon makes small talk with Princess Celestia.

"So...umm...did I make any other requests in my drunken stupor?" Anon asks nervously. "Just mention the ones that are appropriate to say in public."

"You didn't ask me to do anything like that. The only request you made was for me to sing you a lullaby," Celestia replies.

"Could you say, not sing, the lyrics? Just the first verse."

As Princess Celestia says the lyrics, Anon thinks back to last night. The song is familiar, but not because he remembers Celestia singing it. The lyrics remind him of a song from back home. A Christmas carol, to be exact. The way Celestia says the verse flicks on a proverbial lightbulb in Anon's head.

"That song reminds me of a song we sang at Christmas. The holiday is similar to Hearth's Warming," Anon says when Celestia finishes.

"I remember."

"The carol is called Silent Night. It was one of my friend's favorite Christmas carols."

"Could you sing it to me?" Celestia asks.

"You don't want to hear me sing. Combine an out-of-tune saxophone with a little filly screaming. You'll get what I sound like," Anon states.

"Please, Anon," pleads Celestia. She sounds like a foal begging for candy. Some of the ponies look in their direction, which causes Anon to blush.

"Tia, no," Anon says sternly.

"Please."

Anon finds this very uncharacteristic of Celestia. She typically doesn't beg. If anything, she never does. Hell, she's a fucking princess. Of course, she doesn't need to pray. One wave of her hoof and a servant or guard performing the requested task.

"Please, Anon. Do it for me."

"Fuck me," he grumbles. "Fine, but don't make a huge deal about it."

Princess Celestia nods her head.

Anon takes a deep breath. It's been years since he has sung. He knows he's no Michael Jackson or Rick Astley, but he tries his best.

"Silent night, holy night. All is calm, and all is bright. Round yon virgin, mother and child. Holy infant, so tender and mild. Sleep in heavenly peace, ooh. Sleep, sleep in heaven, heavenly peace."

Celestia is speechless. The song did seem like a Hearth's Warming carol. A smile creeps up her face.

"That was..." Celestia can't find a word to describe the song to Anon.

"Shit?"

"No. It was beautiful."

"The song or me singing?"

"The song. It was soothing and had a lullaby feel to it."

"I guess it did."

The pair reach Twilight's castle. Anon opens the large doors and lets Princess Celestia walk in first. They walk through the crystalline halls until they get to the dining hall. Starlight Glimmer and Spike are setting up the table while Twilight ensures everything is perfect. They don't even notice that Anon and Celestia have arrived. It's only when Anon loudly clears his throat that Twilight sees them.

"Oh...Princess Celestia. I didn't see you there," she says nervously as she approaches.

"It's okay, Twilight. Do what you need to do to finish," Celestia reassures.

"Please, have a seat anywhere you'd like. We are about done."

Celestia walks over to a chair already pulled out and sits down.

"What the hell, Twilight? You act like if you make one little mistake, Princess Celestia will send you to the boiler room of Tartarus. We make mistakes, damn it. It's not like we're perfect."

"Easy for you to say," Twilight says as he trots off.

Anon walks after her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"When a civilian of Equestria, such as yourself, makes a mistake, no one bats an eye. When I make a mistake, it's on the front page of the darn newspaper."

"Big deal, Twilight. I'm pretty sure Princess Celestia has made more mistakes than you have. Times a billion. Plus, this is a private meeting, not a fucking gala or social convention with the purple collar shitholes in Canterlot."

"I'm sure she has made her mistakes, but making sure every detail is perfect, is just who I am. You can be sweet, loving, and caring or a self-reliant jerk."

Anon laughs as he sits down in a chair next to Princess Celestia.

"I'll take that as a compliment. Thanks."

"It's an observation, Anon, but you do you."

When Twilight is just out of earshot, Anon scoots closer to Celestia.

"Does she ever lighten up?" he asks.

"Just let her do her thing, Anon. Striving for perfection is one of her better qualities."

"It just makes her OCD as hell. Besides, I don't strive for perfection and am doing okay."

"Says the one who complains when the wrong amount of coffee is put into a bourbon to make that drink you have every so often."

Anon raises his index finger and opens his mouth to say something witty, but he can only agree with her. Too much coffee overpowers the taste of whiskey.

"Touche."

Then, Starlight uses magic to teleport five plates, with two large pancakes, in front of each pony—person, in Anon's case. Anon's stomach grumbles as the scent of the pancakes fills his nostrils. He grabs the tub of butter and uses the butter knife to spread it on both pancakes. After he butters his pancakes, he hands the butter to Princess Celestia. Anon pours warm syrup over the pancakes until a thick layer is on the plate. Celestia uses magic to set a glass of orange juice next to Anon. He smiles to thank her. Soon Spike, Twilight, and Starlight are seated and begin fixing their breakfast.

Everyone eats in silence until Twilight decides to make conversation.

"So, Anon, tell us about your big rescue yesterday. From your point of view, of course," Twilight says excitedly.

Anon looks up from his meal and gives Twilight a confused look.

"Who told you about that?" he asks with his mouthful.

"Rarity told me about it. Sweetie Belle told her when she got home."

"I'm sure Rarity gave you the unexaggerated details ."

"What do you mean by 'unexaggerated'?" Starlight asks.

"Children tend to exaggerate rather exciting stories."

"He's not wrong," Spike adds.

"It's about someone around here agreeing with me," Anon grumbles. "I wouldn't have to risk my neck in the first place if those fillies weren't dared to try to cross those rapids."

"Rarity mentioned that somepony dared them to do that but not who," Twilight says.

"Diamond Tiara dared them."

Twilight's eyes widened. "She dared them?"

"Yep. I was going to have a little talk with her sometime today," Anon says.

"I meant to continue our conversation from last night about your confrontation. Since you don't remember much, I'll give you a refresher on my opinion," Celestia announces. "It would be wise to have Filthy Rich, or I accompany you, perhaps even Twilight. It's not that I don't trust that you can confront her alone, but it would be best if we were there."

"Meaning you don't want me to lose my temper on the filly and lose my somewhat renewed credibility?" Anon asks as he picks up his glass of juice.

"Well... for lack of better-"

Anon raises his hand to interrupt Celestia. "Don't beat around the bush, Celestia. I'm straightforward with you; you can be straightforward with me."

Celestia sighs. "I'm afraid you'll do something that you'll regret. I'm not saying you would, but I don't want to risk it."

"That seems fair enough. Regarding approaching her, I'd like to discuss a plan with her father. Whether or not he agrees to the plan is up in the air."

"Filthy Rich may be rich, but he's pretty reasonable. He's one of the nicer stallions," Starlight Glimmer adds.

"That makes things easier," Anon says as he puts a piece of pancake in his mouth.

As they continue eating breakfast, the group plans to confront Diamond Tiara about her dare. Much to everyone's surprise, Anon takes charge of the planning. He even requests a pen and paper. He writes down everyone's roles, the plan phases, and the questions that Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, and Anon will ask Diamond Tiara. Celestia notices that Anon has a look on his face that is familiar to her. It's calm and calculated. It's not a look that Anon has used, but one used by her officers in the Solar and Royal Guard. His tone is neutral, like her officers, and he doesn't raise his voice. Celestia admits that she enjoys seeing this side of Anon.

Eventually, the group irons out the wrinkles in the plan. Anon goes over the plan several times until everyone is familiar with it. Once they finish that, everyone does their part to help clean up. Anon is wiping the table when he hears a pony trot up behind him. He's surprised to see Twilight standing beside him. She doesn't say anything until Anon finishes his job.

"That was some pretty impressive planning back there," she says.

"It was nothing," Anon replies as he leans against the table and crosses his arms.

"Where did you learn to plan like that? You looked like one of Princess Celestia's generals, or so she tells me."

"Back home, some of my friends and I used to play a game called airsoft," Anon explains. "Airsoft is a competitive team game that involves shooting other teams with spherical plastic pellets via airsoft guns."

"What's an airsoft gun?"

"It's a weapon, not a real weapon, that fires those plastic pellets using either compressed carbon dioxide or a spring. Some guns can fire several hundred rounds a minute, while others fire one pellet at a time. Some teams will buy military-grade equipment as attachments for their weapons, such as clothing or electronic sights for the guns. Anyway, my team took this game seriously. We had a professional player train us for the big events. He let us use his equipment until we could purchase our own. He'd teach us drills, maneuvers, and hand signals that we use in 'battle.' The team and I won a few tournaments. One of the things he taught us was to create a battle plan. We'd look at the playing field and the opposing team or teams. During the actual fight, we would adjust the plan. What interested me was that many things he taught us could apply to real life. Battle planning is a good example, not hand signals or maneuvers. I learned how to formulate a plan in almost every aspect of my life. As you can more than likely tell, I still need work. When I started working as a landscaper, I would draw up how my coworkers would start, who had which jobs, and how fast we should go."

"I would've never guessed that about you."

"The airsoft training was essential for my best friend and me. We have wanted to join the Army ever since we were boys. We went as far as taking martial arts at a young age. When we played airsoft, it was like actual combat," Anon continues.

"You wanted to join the military?"

Anon nods his head. "My knife is a military knife. I bought it when I was a teenager. It's 11 and seven-eighths inches long and made of stainless steel. It was designed and used about...eighty years ago in a world war. My obsession with the military went to where I'd buy military weapons."

Anon pulled his knife from its sheath and flipped it into a reverse grip. Anon had flipped over the knife so quickly that Twilight only saw a black blur. He holds it out, hilt first. Twilight uses her magic to look at the knife closely. After closely examining it, Twilight gives it back to Anon. He slides his knife back into the sheath.

"It's a beautiful knife," Twilight compliments.

"Courtesy of the United States Marine Corps," Anon responds.

"What is a marine corps."

"It is one of our military branches. It is the smallest but toughest."

"That branch sounds like the Royal Guard. They only have 30,000 stallions and mares. The number is so small because the training is so difficult."

"Holy shit, that's small. The Marine Corps has over 180,000 members. That is only active members. How many troops are in the Equestria Armed Forces?"

Twilight rubs her chin. She thinks back to one of Princess Celestia's reports that she read in Canterlot a few months ago. It had a yearly budget and things like that. However, included in the report was the number of troops in the Solar, Lunar, and Royal Guards.

"The Solar Guard has over 1 million troops. The Lunar Guard has over 800,000. The reserves have 2 million troops that rotate every three to four months, which come out to 4.1 million troops in the EAF," Twilight recalls. "Princess Celestia probably could give you a more current and accurate amount.

"You have a lot of troops in your military. More than the country I lived in back home."

"Have you considered joining the guard? To...you know...fulfill your dream?

"Nope."

"Why?" Anon's face shifts from interest to his infamous blank stare.

"None of your business."

Anon waves his hand dismissively. He walks over to the door that leads to the hallway. Twilight shakes her head in disappointment. She thought she was finally getting Anon to open up to her. She concludes she unintentionally opened an old wound of his—one of many that remain behind his large wall of stubbornness and pain. Twilight sighs as she turns to walk into the kitchen.

Poor Anon, Twilight thinks to herself, No pony should have to go through that much pain.

Anon walks down the street in silence. Anger courses through his body like poison. He's not mad at Twilight for asking a seemingly intrusive question. The question just opened an old wound that never really healed.

Joining the Army was Anon's dream since childhood with his best friend, Brandon Caldwell. They had talked about it for years on end. Anon's parents didn't want him to join because they thought it was a job for talentless bums only who use the military as a last resort. Anon never joined because his parents convinced the enlistment officer that he had lied about his age on the form. When Anon tried to prove he was of age, his driver's license went missing. Anon knew his parents had something to do with his lost license; He didn't have proof.

He walks until he reaches Hard Cider's Watering Hole. The tavern was open during the day but saw most of its customers at night, especially on the weekends. Anon pushes the doors open and walks in. Only four ponies are inside. None of them sit at the bar, leaving Hard Cider by himself. He sits on a stool with a copy of the Ponyville Express in front of him. A caramel-colored aura surrounds the paper. Hard Cider notices Anon sitting down not too far from him. He sets down the newspaper and walks over to the seemingly depressed human.

"Hey, there, Anon. It's a surprise to see you here," Hard Cider greets. The middle-aged bartender reminds Anon of an Old West saloon bartender.

"I just need a drink," Anon says.

"Okay, then. I assume you want your usual."

"Nah. I'll take something different."

"Okay," Hard Cider chuckles. "What will it be?"

"Scotch and coffee, please. Half and half."

"Gentlecolt's Whiskey, coming right up."

Hard Cider prepares the drinks as Anon waits patiently. He takes a bottle of scotch and pours it into a metal cup. Then, he pours freshly brewed coffee into the cup with the scotch. Hard Cider uses his magic to shake the two liquids together. Once the drink is appropriately mixed, Hard Cider pours it into a medium-sized glass. He uses magic to set three ice cubes into the glass as a final touch.

"Enjoy," Hard Cider says.

Anon picks up the glass and takes a sip. He lets the caffeinated alcohol sit in his mouth to take in the combination of flavors. Eventually, he swallows the whiskey. He takes a few more sips in silence. Hard Cider notices Anon is staring blankly at the rows of whiskey, wine, and whatnot. When Anon does this at the bar, it typically means he is deep in thought. So, Hard Cider pours a small glass of scotch and sits just to the right of Anon.

"A bit for your thoughts, my friend?" Hard Cider asks kindly.

Anon swallows another sip of his drink before he speaks. "Did your parents ever go to extreme lengths to prevent you from doing something you wanted? Like preventing you from doing your dream job or something like that."

Hard Cider took a sip of his scotch. "If I'm being honest, yeah. I'll tell you about it if you got time."

"Got plenty of time," Anon says as he sips his drink.

"I grew up in Appleoosa, you see. As you can probably guess, I was around saloons quite a bit. My grandpa owned one north of where I lived. He ran it with his brother. My uncles, each owned a saloon in the surrounding towns. My older cousin even owns a brewery. Long story short, I came from a family of barkeepers. When Pa married Ma and had me, they wanted me to be a respectable, responsible, and upstanding citizen. As you can tell, Pa never stepped hoof in a bar. They flipped out when I expressed my interest in joining the family business. They thought they hadn't taught me well enough, so my parents forced me to enlist in the Solar Guard. I had never been away from Appleoosa, so imagine I was afraid when I arrived in Canterlot to train."

"I never knew you were a soldier."

"Not many folks do. Most are too drunk to notice or care. After my two-year contract, I eventually re-enlisted to be in the Royal Guard after being a Solar Guardspony."

Hard Cider used his magic to levitate a picture frame on the back counter over to Anon. Anon takes the picture and sees Hard Cider, dressed in the Royal Guard armor, with his leg around another stallion. Both of them are laughing at something. In the background stood what looked like an officer. Anon could tell it was an officer because the blue plume was longer in the back, much like Spartan officers.

"Who was this guy?" Anon asks as he points at the stallion next to Hard Cider.

"That was Sergeant Greaves. Bronze Greaves was his real name. He was my best friend since basic training," Hard Cider responds.

"And who is this?" Anon points to the officer.

"Ah, that's Captain Spear Shaft. He was my commanding officer. Cap is now General of the Equestria Armed Forces."

"So, how did you end up doing your dream job?"

Hard Cider refills his glass. "One day, thirty years ago, there was an attack at the castle. Queen Chrysalis of the Changelings sent ten drones to kill Princess Celestia. My squad was dispatched to defend the throne room where Princess Celestia was barricaded. Those insect bastards came at us with their swords drawn. They killed three of my squadmates almost right off the bat. We managed to kill eight of them. I thought we had them. Then, one rushed forwards when I wasn't paying attention. Bronze Greaves jumped in front of the sword and got stabbed in the chest. The other changeling slashed my front right leg and damaged it pretty damn badly. My squadmates managed to kill those bastards before they could finish me off. Because of my injury, I was honorably and medically discharged and started my business not long afterward."

"What happened to Sergeant Greaves?" Anon asks, already knowing the answer.

"He died in my hooves. I still see his lifeless eyes and his blood in my dreams. Before he died, he said one word that has stuck with me ever since. Bronze Greaves said, 'Axios.' It means-"

"I am worthy."

Hard Cider cracks a smile. "How did you know that?"

"It was used as a battle cry in a movie I watched as a teenager."

"Is that a fact? It's the Equestria Armed Forces battle cry."

"What are the chances?"

Anon finishes his drink. The two sit in silence until Anon stands up. He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a few bits.

"Thanks for the drink. How much will it be?"

"It's on the house, Anon."

"You don't have to do that, man."

"I want to. You are a good friend, and friends do this thing together."

"I guess they do."

Anon waves, leave the tavern, and walks out into the sunshine. He looks up at the sun. By the sun's position, Anon knows it is around ten o'clock. Anon decided to start Phase 1 of the plan a little early. So, he begins walking toward the Rich Family Mansion. The mansion is on the other side of Ponyville. It's not too far from the tavern. Plus, it sticks out among the wooden houses that make up most of Ponyville, making it easy to spot. It's not long before Anon reaches the mansion.

He knocks on the large oak door. A few moments later, the door opens. At the door is Diamond Tiara herself. Next to her is her equally spoiled friend, Silver Spoon. Anon does not show his disgust for Diamond Tiara, so he puts on a fake smile.

"Can we help you?" Diamond Tiara asks, sounding like Anon's arrival was inconveniencing her.

"I need to speak with your father. Is he around?" Anon explains.

"Sure." Diamond Tiara turns her head. "DAD!! THE TALL GREEN MONKEY WANTS TO TALK TO YOU!!"

"I have a name, you know," Anon says as he rubs his ear.

"It's Annie, right?"

"My name is Anonymous. Some ponies call me Anon." Anon grumbles.

"That's it. I was close, though."

Then, Filthy Rich walks up behind his daughter. He gives a professional smile when he sees Anon.

"Anonymous. It's good to see you."

"You, too, Mr. Filthy."

"Please call me Mr. Rich. Come on in."

Diamond Tiara opens the door so that Anon can walk through the doorway.

"Mocosa estropeada," (Spoiled brat) Anon grumbles as he walks through the door.

Filthy Rich leads Anon through the grand halls of the mansion. Every once in and while, there is a painting or a bust of a patriarch of the Rich family. A staircase leading to the second floor is at the end of the hallway. Filthy Rich and Anon walk up the stairs and onto the second floor. They eventually arrive at Filthy Rich's office, which was the first door they came to.

The office is smaller than Anon expected it to be. It looks like an everyday office. A desk, a filing cabinet, a large window with a decent view, and a family photo. Anon sits in one of the chairs before Filthy Rich's desk.

Filthy Rich opens a drawer and pulls out a large bottle of scotch and two glasses. He pours some into each glass. They toast to good health and take a sip.

"Wow. This is good scotch," Anon says. "What's the brand?"

"Canterlot Regal Caramel Scotch. These go for at least 100 bits a bottle," Filthy Rich answers.

"What the hell? That's expensive. A cheap bottle goes for at least 50."

"I guess that's why they call scotch Rich Pony's Whiskey."

"I usually drink scotch with coffee, so I don't bankrupt myself."

"That's a good drink right there. Gentlecolt's whiskey is favorite, alongside bourbon, wine, and champagne."

They knock back a few more sips of their drinks until Filthy Rich breaks the silence.

"So what do I owe the pleasure, Anonymous?" Filthy Rich asks.

Anon sighs. "I came here in regards to Diamond Tiara."

"What about her?"

Anon tells Filthy Rich about the dare. Filthy Rich's face goes from entertained to concerned. He can't believe this story. He won't believe it. There is no way in Tartarus that his daughter would dare three other fillies to cross rapids. Indeed, not the rapids that he's thinking of.

"And which rapids are you referring to?"

"The rapids one-hundred yards from my house."

"Oh, Gates of Tartarus. Those rapids are called Timberwolf Rapids because not even a timberwolf will cross those."

"If you don't believe me, ask Princess Celestia; she'll tell you."

"P...Pr...Princess Celestia?" Fear spreads across his face.

"Yep. I dislocated my fucking foot trying to get back to shore after saving Sweetie Belle, and Princess Celestia was the one who put my foot back in place."

"Oh, Keepers of Equestria. Have mercy on me," Filthy Rich whispers.

Anon explains the plan he came up with to Filthy Rich. When Anon asks if the plan is a good idea, Filthy Rich agrees. Without hesitation, as well. He even asked to be involved. A sadistic grin creeps across Anon's face as he finally sips his scotch.

"When there's a crime, there's punishment," Anon whispers.

At about three o'clock in the afternoon, Diamond Tiara walks into the schoolhouse. She had received a note that told her to go to the schoolhouse. It is entirely dark except for the low sunlight coming through the windows. She sees Anon sitting at Ms. Cheerilee's desk, with his feet propped up on it, and reading a book. There is a lamp on the desk, as well. In front of the desk is one of the student desks. Anon lowers the book as soon as Diamond Tiara approaches.

"Diamond Tiara, I've been expecting you," Anon says coldly.

"You wrote that note telling me to come here?" she asks.

"Guilty as charged. Have a seat." Anon motions a the desk in front of him.

Diamond Tiara sits at the student desk.

"I don't like beating around the bush, so I'll get straight to the point," Anon announces. "I know about the dare, Diamond Tiara."

"Dare? I don't know about any dare," Diamond Tiara says innocently.

"Don't give me that crap."

"I assure you I don't know anything about a dare."

"Sweetie Belle told me everything yesterday. She told me that you dared her and her friends to cross some rapids."

"Sweetie Belle only told you that because she and her friends have it out for me. Even if I dared them to cross Timberwolf Rapids, I would've gone to see them cross."

Anon takes his feet off the desk and leans forward. A blank stare is on his face. The lamplight makes the look all the more threatening.

"If you didn't know about the dare, how did you know they went specifically to Timberwolf Rapids rather than the other three rapids in the area?" Anon sneers.

Diamond Tiara recognizes that she slipped up. She tries to justify it. However, nothing intelligible comes out. The only thing Diamond Tiara does is stutter. Anon notices tiny droplets of sweat forming on Diamond Tiara's forehead. This is too amusing for Anon.

"Heard enough?" Anon asks, louder than usual.

Much to Diamond Tiara's surprise, Princess Celestia, Princess Twilight Sparkle, and her dad appear out of nowhere. Thanks to a powerful invisibility spell, they went unnoticed during the conversation.

"Quite," Princess Celestia responds sternly. She doesn't have her motherly grin on her face. You get a look when you are about to get yelled at.

"Diamond, how could you ?" Filthy Rich asks.

"I...I...I." she stutters.

"Diamond Tiara, what in Equestria were you thinking? Those rapids are hazardous. Not even timberwolves will cross it. There is a reason why they're called that," Twilight says.

"I didn't think they'd do it."

"How about this? Don't think. You aren't good at it," Anon retorts.

"Anonymous, please be quiet," Celestia orders. "Diamond Tiara, you directly jeopardized the lives of the Cutie Mark Crusaders because of a dare. You also indirectly endangered the life of Anonymous as he risked his life to save Sweetie Belle. This is a crime that can't go unpunished.

There is a moment of silence. Then, Diamond Tiara jumps from the chair and clasps her hooves together as if praying. She begins to cry, much to Anon's amusement.

"Please don't send me to Tartarus! Please! I'll scrub your floors! I'll wash your windows! I'll do anything!" she wails.

"Anything?" Anon asks, raising one eyebrow.

"Yes, anything!"

Anon rubs his beard in thought. "How about this? You'll clean my house every weekend for six months. I'm not talking about smearing dust everywhere and calling it clean. I'm talking about deep spring cleaning. Or Tirek could use a cellmate in Tartarus."

"I'll clean. I'll clean. You can have the Royal Guard or Princess Luna watch me," Diamond Tiara says quickly.

"Seems fair to me. It's a deal."

Anon stands up. Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara leave the schoolhouse.

"I say that went better than I expected," Anon states.

"I would say so, too," Twilight agrees.

"Anon, I thought we agreed on the punishment that she would attend friendship lessons with Twilight," Celestia says. "Why the change in punishment."

"She would fake it 'till she makes it and will do something worse than a dare. Remembering aching muscles tend to prevent further transgressions."

"Why does that sound like you are speaking from experience?" Twilight asks.

Anon furrows his eyebrows as another bad memory resurfaces. "Because it is." He curses his parents silently.

He walks out of the schoolhouse; Princess Celestia and Twilight follow him. Anon begins walking towards his house.

"Where are you going?" Celestia asks.

"I'm going to read for a couple of hours; then I'm going to the bar."

"Didn't you already go Friday night?" Twilight asks.

Anon's hardened expression lightened up a bit as he cracked a half-smile. "I'm going to have celebratory drinks with a friend."

It is eight-thirty at night. Anon sits at the bar with Hard Cider, sharing a bottle of scotch. They have shared stories from their childhood and teenage years for the past two hours. At some points, they laugh themselves to tears. Hard Cider now shares a story from his days as a Royal Guardspony.

"Bronze Greaves and I slipped into formation just as Princess Celestia walked through the columns of guards. Captain Spear Shaft is behind her. She stops in front of our squad and looks down at us. As she does this, she says, 'It just keeps getting bigger and bigger.' She was referring to the Royal Guard, you understand. Then, of all the times he has to say this, Bronze Greaves says, 'That's what she said.' Out loud, in front of the Princess."

Anon laughs his heart out. He loves a classic "That's what she said." joke.

"I don't know how, but everyone stifled a laugh. One of the lieutenants in my regiment turned deep red, trying to hold it in. I was having the same problem. Cap turns deep red for another reason. What made it even better was Princess Celestia chuckled to herself. Honest to Tartarus, I didn't expect that."

"What happened to Greaves after that incident?"

"Cap ripped him a new one after the inspection. I've never heard him yell that loud before. The only reason Bronze Greaves didn't get demoted was that Princess Celestia had chuckled at the joke, which the Princess later confirmed."

"What was your rank before you were discharged?" Anon asks.

"Sergeant First Class."

"That's a pretty high rank for a non-com."

"Kiss the right ass. You'll get promoted."

Anon furrows his eyebrows in confusion. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Since Equestria hadn't been in a war in 1,000 years, getting promoted became difficult. So we had to do some extra favors to get promoted."

"Like what? Sucking off your commanding officers?"

Hard Cider almost chokes on his drink. "Hell no. More like extra guard duty, shining the CO's armor or sharpening their sword. That sort of thing."

"Oh, that sort of favor. Who became Captain after Spear Shaft?"

"A mare named Sword Hilt. An old friend, who stayed in for decades after I left, told me she was worse than Spear Shaft and several others who came after. The only bearable captain that came through was Shining Armor."

"I've heard of him."

"This old buddy of mine said that Shining Armor took his job seriously, but not too seriously. Pretty strange considering that he came out of the top of his class in the Royal Academy and Royal Guard training. I heard that he'd crack a few jokes here and there. He'd down a few beers with the boys, too. However, the drinking died when Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, or Cadence, became his marefriend.

"Women do have that effect on us. Well, mares in your case."

"You're not wrong. I used to get hammered with Bronze Greaves almost every weekend. After he began seeing that thestral and I started dating a noble pony's daughter, we hardly touched alcohol."

"I didn't know you were a lady's stallion."

"Mares love a stallion in uniform."

"Who was the lucky mare?" Anon smiles jokingly as Hard Cider tops off Anon's drink.

"Twilight Velvet."

"Who's that?"

"Princess Twilight's mother," Hard Cider grumbles.

Anon laughs. "You dated Twilight's mother?! How did you break up?"

"The classic 'It's not you, it's me' routine. That was her way of saying she was making eyes at another stallion, her current husband."

"Sorry to hear that. Hope it got better."

"It did. When I was discharged from the Royal Guard, I moved to Manehattan. I met a young mare, had two foals, and opened a bar downtown. After my wife passed away, my kids and I split. I drifted all over Equestria until I laid eyes on this building. As the saying goes, the rest is history."

"Good history, in my opinion."

Anon finishes his drink in one swig. He can feel his senses getting slightly duller but doesn't care. It's the end of the weekend, for crying out loud. Hard Cider fills up Anon's glass with the last of the scotch. In doing so, Hard Cider changes to a new topic.

"How are you and the Princess?" Hard Cider asks.

"How did you know about that?" Anon replies.

"I can see her when she flies down here. She never goes to Twilight's castle, so I assume she goes to your place. So, are you two seeing each other?"

"Sorry for the disappointment, but no. We're just friends."

"That's what I'd say, too."

"C'mon, man. The species barrier is kind of...frightening to me."

"Frightening? I thought the great Anonymous wasn't afraid of anything." Hard Cider laughs.

"Anything relating to women is scary. You wonder why I'm single."

"You wouldn't be if you'd look around and climb that barrier. I know a few mares that would love to be your special somepony."

"Like who?" Anon is skeptical

Hard Cider rubs his chin with his hoof. "Rarity is one."

"She always gawks at every other stallion that walks her way," Anon grumbles.

"Ms. Cheerilee is another. From what I hear."

"Not my type."

"Okay, now you're being difficult on purpose, Anon. Give a mare a chance."

"Women aren't my area of expertise, so excuse me for being unprepared to branch out into a different species."

Deep down, Anon knows that Hard Cider is suitable. Anon had noticed a few mares giving him second glances over the past few months. Some more than others. Has he had the thought of dating a mare crossed his mind? Sure, but his past experiences with women lingered. However, there are a few mares that are head-turners. Surprisingly, Rarity was one of them.

Rarity is exceptionally generous. When Anon tore a hole into his pants, Rarity offered to sew up the hole. When Anon needed sleeping wear, Rarity made silky shorts for Anon. Eventually, Anon found himself spending time with Rarity and putting up with her consistently submitting "marefriend" applications. All in all, Rarity is a very kind and sweet pony. However, Anon prefers a girl who doesn't spend forever in front of a mirror, checking their completion, as he mentioned to Spike several weeks ago.

Cheerilee, on the other hand, is a mare that Anon found bearable. She is attentive when Anon talks about the human race at school. She laughs at the funny stories that Anon tells about his childhood. Cheerilee reminds Anon of a teacher he had in middle and high school. But, there is one thing that concerns him. Anon had set an age limit that he was comfortable with. Fifteen years of age difference isn't within those limits.

"Hey, Anon. I didn't mean to get on you about finding a marefriend. I don't want you to miss opportunities that are right in front of you. I've done that too often, and I don't want you to make the same mistake," Hard Cider says.

"You were trying to help a friend out. I don't blame you for that," Anon replies. He takes a long swig of his scotch.

When he sets his glass down, he hears the sound of horse hooves clopping up behind home. Anon turns his head to see who it is. It's Fluttershy. She sits on the stool next to Anon. She has a somber look and is almost sad—hard Cider steps over a bit to help Fluttershy.

"Hello, Fluttershy. Is there something I can get you?" he asks.

"Uh...a glass of Manehattan Wine would be fine," Fluttershy replies softly.

She leaves the bar and sits at a table about fifteen feet away. Hard Cider uses magic to pull a glass from the counter and a bottle of wine. He pours the wine until the glass is three-quarters full. Hard Cider takes the glass over to Fluttershy. Anon watches her for a moment before returning to his drink. He has a concerned look on his face.

"Does she comes in here often?" Anon asks, pointing his thumb at Fluttershy as Hard Cider walks back behind the bar.

"Only when she's depressed," Hard Cider replies as a matter of factly. "Last time she came in was the day before you arrived."

"I didn't know she even drank."

"Neither did I until Fluttershy first came in here."

"When was that?" Anon asks as he sips his drink.

"It was right after the Grand Galloping Gala a few years ago. She came in here looking like somepony had killed her demon of a rabbit. Said something about not being able to make more animal friends."

"That sounds like something she would be depressed about."

Then, the bar doors slam open. It startles Anon; he whips around and reaches for his knife. Four griffins stroll in, laugh at something, and sit at a table. A female griffin raises her index talon to get Hard Cider's attention. Hard Cider grumbles something under his breath.

"Hey, barkeep! A round of the strongest vodka you've got, and bring the bottle too!" she shouts in a raspy voice. "The first bottle is on me, boys!"

"That's what I'm fucking talking about, Gail!" one of the other griffins shouts.

Hard Cider uses his magic to levitate a bottle of vodka from the top shelf. Then, he levitates four shot glasses off of the counter. After he fills the glasses, he takes them and the bottle to the awaiting griffins. They rudely thank Hard Cider and begin knocking back shots of vodka. Hard Cider walks back to the counter with an agitated glare.

"If there are one species I dislike more than changelings, it's griffins," Hard Cider states angrily.

"Besides being loud and obnoxious, what's so bad about them?"

"They think they are the dominant species on the planet. Griffins are known to push ponies around to prove it. If anything, minotaurs are more dominant than both of us. Even though they are brutes."

Hard Cider and Anon try their best to ignore the griffins. Other ponies try to get the griffins to be quieter but to no avail. As the night drags on, Anon becomes more and more tempted to drag the catbirds out of the tavern. However, he doesn't want to cause trouble or start an all-out bar fight. Those usually end with someone spending a few days in the hospital.

Eventually, the griffins begin harassing the ponies. The ponies tell them to "fuck off" or "buzz off." The only pony not to stick up for itself is Fluttershy. The griffins say things to her that not even Anon would say. Soon, Fluttershy begins to cry as the insults keep on flowing. Fluttershy's cries make the griffins mock and tease her even more. This pisses Anon off. Anger courses through his veins, and his body burns with rage. Anon may not like Fluttershy that much, but kicking her while she is down is crossing the line. Hard Cider sees the fury in Anon's eyes. He knows what Anon is about to do.

"Whatever you do, don't kill anypony in the bar. Blood isn't exactly easy to clean up," Hard Cider pleads.

Anon takes one last swig of his scotch. "I'll try."

He walks up to the griffins as they continue insulting Fluttershy. They don't notice even when Anon stands there for a moment. When Anon loudly clears his throat, the griffins stop insulting Fluttershy and turn around.

"Can we help you?" Gail asks, slightly annoyed.

"Lay off the mare. She's having a bad day," Anon replies oddly.

"What are you, the bouncer?" one of the other griffins asks.

"Maybe. Now, leave the mare alone. She hasn't done shit to either of you, so you have no reason to treat her like a pile of dogshit."

Gail stands up on her hind legs. She uses her tail to support herself. She crosses her arms and tries to make herself look bigger than she is. She even puffs out her chest. The only problem is that she is seven inches shorter and not as well-built as Anon is. Now, the bar is silent. It's so quiet that you can hear a quill drop.

"Oh, yeah. Who's going to make me?" she asks.

"I fucking guarantee you don't want to go down that route," Anon snarls.

"I just might, monkey boy."

Gail pushes Anon. He stumbles back a bit. Anon clenches his fists, but he doesn't raise them. Instead, Anon roundhouse kicks Gail in the head. She flies onto a table and breaks it into several pieces.

One of the other griffins stands on his hind legs and joins the fight. He swings at Anon's head, but Anon blocks it with his left arm. Anon punches the griffin in the throat with his other fist, then uppercuts him in the nose using his left hand. The griffin falls to the floor unconscious—one more griffin down.

The other griffin lunges forward and tackles Anon to the floor. The griffin begins punching Anon, but Anon uses his forearms to block the punches. When there is an opening, Anon headbutts the griffin and punches the griffin as hard as he can in the face. Anon uses his legs to launch the griffin into a nearby table, which causes it to break in two. The griffin lies unconscious. Two down, two more to go. Anon stands back up, despite the pain in his lower back.

Gail rejoins the fight with the last remaining griffin, and they advance toward Anon. Anon gets into a fighting stance, ready for the next attack. Gail takes the first swing. Anon promptly ducks and swings back. This time, he punches her beak. Pain shoots through his hand. Gail punches Anon in the stomach. When he doubles over, Gail pushes Anon's face down while she brings up her knee. Blood spurts from his nose as Gail's knee makes contact. Anon tries to get back up, but Gail kicks Anon in the ribs. Anon can barely breathe.

He sees Fluttershy running out of the bar. The other ponies in the bar are cheering. Then, another kick drives into Anon's ribs. He cries out in pain.

"Stay down, motherfucker!" Gail snarls.

"Go to Hell," Anon growls as he tries to get up again.

Hard Cider jumps over the bar with his horn glowing. Surrounded in his caramel-colored aura is his xiphos from his days as a Royal Guardspony. Anon is surprised at this. Hard Cider rears back on his haunches, pointing his sword at Gail.

"Get the hell out of my bar," Hard Cider demands.

"Or what?" Gails says. She backhands Hard Cider across the face. He slams into the bar, and his sword clatters to the ground.

In a burst of rage, Anon stands back up and charges at Gail. She spreads her wings and flies forward. Gail picks up Anon and passes through the bar doors, which broke into several pieces and drives Anon into the street. Gail skids to a halt as Anon tumbles across the ground. He finally stops rolling. Anon stands up and gets into a common karate stance. Blood is dripping from his nose, and some gashes on his body.

"Time to finish this," Gail sneers as she stands up on her hind legs. She pulls out a dagger.

Anon moves his hand down to his knife. He uses this thumb to undo the fastener on his sheath. Then, he pulls out his KA-BAR and gets into a knife-fighting stance used by the Marines. Gail charges forward. She thrusts her dagger at Anon, but he dodges it. As he avoids the blade, he slashes Gail's wing. She groans in pain as she stumbles forward. Anon attacks again and slashes at Gail's chest. He misses, and Gail slices Anon's left arm. Blood begins to seep out of his wound. Anon drops his knife and instinctively uses his right hand to cover his injury. He steps back a little to slowly recover. He waits for Gail to make the next move.

After a few seconds, Gail charges again, but this time she is overconfident in her ability to beat Anon. When she slices at Anon's throat, he skillfully moves out of the way and grabs Gail's wrist. He breaks her wrist, which causes her to drop her dagger, pushing her back. As Gail tries to recover, Anon uppercuts where he believes her diaphragm is. Gail gasps for air. To finish her off, Anon roundhouse kicks Gail in the head. This time, Gail falls to the ground unconscious.

Anon releases a sigh of relief. He turns around to retrieve his knife. As he walks, he hears the pounding of feet behind him. Before he can turn around, the last griffin jumps on Anon's back. Anon tries to get the griffin off his back, so he reaches to grab it—a bad mistake. Anon sees a flash of silver in the moonlight. Then, he feels white-hot pain in his chest. Anon screams as he feels the dagger being pulled from his chest.

The griffin tries to stab Anon again, but Anon grabs the griffin's arm with both hands. He slams the griffin onto the ground. However, the griffin turns over quickly and tackles Anon. The griffin straddles Anon and uses his talons to strangle Anon. A sadistic grin spreads across the griffin's beak.

Anon sees his KA-BAR lying in his peripheral vision, just arm's length away. He sacrifices valuable time that he could spend trying to get the griffin off of him to reach for his knife. Just as the griffin realizes what Anon is doing, it's too late. Anon stabs the griffin through his neck. Blood splatters on Anon's face as the griffin coughs up blood. Anon feels the pressure weaken on his neck, so he pulls out the knife, which causes blood to spray from the griffin's neck, and pushes the lifeless griffin off of him. The griffin falls to the ground, void of all life. Blood is pouring out of his neck.

Anon stands up and places his hand over his stab wound. He pulls it away. His green skin is covered in his blood.

"Well, shit," Anon groans.

Then Anon sees the Mane 6 running down the street towards him. Twilight's horn is glowing, and so is Rarity's horn. When they get closer, Anon can see the looks on their faces. They look concerned, especially when they see Anon covered in blood. Rarity almost throws up at seeing a dead griffin lying on the ground. Anon flashes a weak smile and waves at the Mane 6 before collapsing. Twilight runs over to Anon, and the stab wound almost immediately. She's no doctor, but she can tell it's bad. Twilight cradles Anon as he weakly groans.

"Anon, can you hear me?" Twilight asks. "Please, tell me if you can hear me."

"Get...Hard...Cider. Help him," Anon gasps in reply.

Twilight looks at Applejack. "AJ, go help Hard Cider. He may be hurt."

"Alrighty, Twilight," Applejack replied. She runs into the bar to check on Hard Cider.

Twilight looks back down at Anon. Rainbow Dash, get Nurse Red Heart. Tell her we have a stab victim."

"On my way," Rainbow Dash flies off toward the hospital.

"Rarity and Pinkie Pie, check on the still-alive griffins. They might need help," Twilight orders. The two mares nod their heads and walk over to the unconscious Gail.

Twilight returns her attention to Anon. His eyes are closed. Twilight begins to panic. She tries to wake Anon by shaking him. Anon's eyes open, and he looks at Twilight with a pained look.

"Never thought...I'd go this way," Anon whispers.

"Don't talk like that, Anon. Just keep your eyes open. When we get you to the hospital, the doctors will make you good as new," Twilight reassures. "You'll be back to fixing up Ponyville and making it the most beautiful town in Equestria."

"If that...makes...you feel better."

Anon's eyes shut again. This time Twilight goes into full panic mode. Tears stream down her face as she tries to wake Anon up. This time, his eyes don't open back up.

"Don't die on me, Anon. Please, don't die. Don't die on me, damn it," Twilight cries. "For the love of Princess Celestia, don't die. Please."

Anon opens his eyes, but it's a struggle. He can feel the end getting closer. Anon reaches up and touches Twilight's face. He uses his thumb to wipe away a tear from Twilight's face. He leaves a red streak of blood just below the base of her eye. Anon tries smiling again, but it hurts tremendously.
Twilight notices Anon is trying to say something, so she leans down to hear what Anon is saying. "Death isn't...an...end where...I'm from. It's a...new...beginning," Anon whispers. "Thank you...for being nice...to me...even...when I was...an asshole. It...was actually...something...I enjoyed."

"The pleasure was all mine, Anonymous," Twilight says with a sad smile.

Anon can feel his last moments running out. So with all the strength he has left, he forces out one final word.

"Axios," Anon says as his eyes close.

Then, his hand falls from Twilight's face and lands on the ground.

Author's Notes:

Hey, everyone. Thanks for reading chapter 4 of I Am Anonymous. It was my longest chapter ever written.
Please excuse any blandness in the bar fight because I'm not an expert on martial arts or fighting. So if you see anything that is overly descriptive and can be simplified by a simple term, let me know via PM or comment. As usual, if you have any questions, free to PM me, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
(12/25/21 I decided to make the Royal Guards like a separate branch of the EAF, rather than a seemingly special forces branch. So, the Royal Guard is like the US Marines or the Royal Marines of the UK.)
Now, the next chapter title spoiler alert.
Chapter 5: Heroes Aren't Born, They're Made
Slight edits were made on 05/25/21 and major edits were made on 12/25/21

Heroes Aren't Born, They're Made

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Chapter 5

Anon sits in a lawn chair in his front yard underneath the giant oak tree. He is only wearing a pair of shorts and a pair of sunglasses. The warm, late morning sun warms his body. Anon picks up a small glass of bourbon next to his chair and sips the chilled whiskey. The burning sensation tingles Anon's mouth as he lets the bourbon sit in his mouth. Eventually, he swallows the whiskey. Anon sets the glass back on the ground.

It's been three weeks since the bar fight. Anon had been in a coma since that night until about a week ago. He doesn't remember much, but flashes of the battle occasionally run through his mind.

For the most part, Anon is physically okay. The cuts and the stab wound are fine, minus the visible scars they left behind and the scars from the surgery. The doctors tried to use a spell to remove the scars, but Anon told them he wanted to remember how he got the spots. As expected, the doctors were confused. However, they passed it off as a human characteristic and left the scars behind. The only thing that hurts is Anon's lower back from getting slammed on the ground several times by the griffins.

When Anon asked how soon he could return to work, the doctors told him to rest for at least a week or longer and build his strength. So, Anon took advantage of the short "vacation" he was allowed. What he is doing right now is one of the things he did while he recovered, besides walking around Ponyville and visiting other ponies.

Anon closes his eyes and attempts to fall asleep. It doesn't take long for Anon to drift off. Well, almost. A soft but recognizable voice says his name.

"Umm...Anon?" It's Twilight's voice.

"Oh, hey. Twilight," Anon yawns as he opens his eyes.

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?"

"I was about to fall asleep, but it's fine."

"Are you sure? I can come back later."

"Nope, it's okay. So what brings you by?"

"I just wanted to check on you."

"Aside from my lower back still killing me, I'm taking it easy. Yesterday, I went to Fluttershy's cottage for some tea."

"You drink things other than alcohol?" Twilight's voice sounds like she is mocking Anon.

"I drink things other than alcohol. I like hot chocolate, fruit juices, and sodas."

"You should drink those more often. Alcohol makes you cranky."

"I guess you could say that," Anon laughs. "But in all seriousness, I appreciate you coming to check on me."

"The pleasure is all mine."

The air is filled with pregnant silence. Anon picks up his glass and takes another sip of his drink. As he sets his glass down, he notices a peculiar look on Twilight's face. She is staring off into space like Anon does when he thinks.

"Is everything okay, Twilight? You seem distracted," Anon says.

"Yeah. Whenever I'm around you, I remember what happened three weeks ago. Seeing you on the brink of death...well...had an on impression me," Twilight responds.

"What did happen after I lost consciousness?"

Twilight sighs.

"I tried waking you up, but you wouldn't wake up. Thankfully, the medical emergency team arrived a few moments later. They took you into the operating room while the girls, Spike, and I waited in the lobby. The doctors spent several hours working on you, mainly because there was so much internal damage. They said you were lucky the dagger missed your lung by one centimeter.

"How did they even know how to operate on me?"

"They used a book that had...monkey biology that Fluttershy had. The doctors finally finished the surgery around 7:30 the next morning. By then, half of Ponyville had heard about the fight and were waiting for news outside the hospital. When I announced the successful surgery, they cheered. But the cheering died when I told them you were in a coma."

"Not much I could do there," Anon says. "When did Ti-I mean-Princess Celestia find out I got stabbed?"

"I sent her a message as soon as it crossed my mind. What was so strange was that she visited you every day when you lay in ICU."

Anon raises an eyebrow in curiosity. "Every day?"

"That's what Nurse Redheart told me. Princess Celestia came at the same time every day and stayed the same amount of time for as long as you were in a coma."

"The reason I ask was that when I first woke up from my coma, Princess Celestia's head was in my lap, and she-" Anon pauses as the memory comes to him "-was crying. Tia was crying. I've never seen her cry. I started petting her mane because it was the only thing I could do."

Twilight cocks her head in interest, mainly because Anon had called Princess Celestia by her nickname. Twilight had heard Princess Luna call Celestia that a few times. Twilight knew it was a name that only ponies close to her get to call Celestia by that name. The fact that Princess Celestia lets Anon all her "Tia" shows that he has a special place in her heart. Very few ponies have that privilege—very few.

"Since when did you two become so close?" Twilight asks.

"Not the words I'd use. I'd use the words 'close friends,'" Anon says.

Anon sighs deeply and flexes his fingers. Twilight can tell he is hiding something. He flexes his fingers when he is hiding something. The first time Anon does that is when Twilight asks why Anon's parents named him "Anonymous.". Anon said he didn't want to discuss it; he began staring into space and flexing his fingers.

"I just found it odd for Tia's head to be in my lap," Anon adds.

Twilight sits down next to Anon. "Ponies who are friends or in a relationship show affection by touch. It can be a hoof around somepony's body, a simple hug, or cuddling in bed."

"Wait a second. Ponies cuddle as friends?"

"Sure."

Anon recalls a few weeks ago when he woke up with Princess Celestia. Showing affection by touch would explain a few things. The cuddling, her head lying in his lap, and her wrapping her wing around him at the picnic. However, those touches felt different, like something more was going on. Anon pushes that thought out of his mind. He doesn't want to think about it. It's too much to think about.

"Ponies are weird," Anon deadpans.

"We're not weird. It's just who we are. I could say the same thing about you humans."

"We are weird. Some think being economically equal is good and free enterprise is bad."

"That economic system doesn't sound like it would last long."

"It doesn't." Anon snorts as he remembers his debate with a socialist as a teenager. "Never thought I'd be discussing economics with a pony."

Anon leans back in his chair and stretches. Twilight pokes at the ground with her hoof, and she stands up.

"Hey, listen. I have to get going. There are some...princess duties I have to attend to," Twilight informs.

"Okay. Have fun with that," Anon says.

"By the way, Pinkie Pie asked me to tell you she wants you to swing by Sugar Cube Corner after closing so she can give you something."

Anon's curiosity is peaked. "Why couldn't she give it to me this afternoon?"

"Today is hectic. Weekends are usually like that."

"True." Twilight and Anon wave goodbye as Twilight turns to leave.

Anon sinks back into his chair and closes his eyes. He wonders what Pinkie wants to give him, knowing that a hyperactive mare could be anything. Under normal circumstances, Anon would take "could be anything" with a grain of salt, but since arriving in Equestria and meeting Pinkie, that phrase has become literal. For all he knew, Pinkie could've planned a Lucha libre match where Anon had to wrestle a manticore. Well, that's a little exaggerated, but Anon has learned to expect the unexpected is a good thing to live by in the equine-filled world.

Anon almost falls back asleep when he hears a gentle, feminine whisper.

"So, you have been becoming close with my sister. I would like you to elaborate on that subject," the voice says.

Anon jumps and whips his body around. Behind him is the Princess of the Moon herself, Princess Luna.

"Seriously, what's up with you ponies finding a way to scare the shit out of me," Anon grumbles.

"Seeing you jump like that is amusing," Luna chuckles. "So, do you mind elaborating on how you and my sister are so close?"

"As I mentioned to Twilight, we are good friends."

"Mm-hmm. Do good friends usually spend time alone with each other for hours on end? Plus, sharing each other's deepest, darkest secrets?" Luna says mockingly.

"I thought it was just a pony thing." Anon shrugs innocently as he sips his drink.

"Sure, friend Anonymous. I believe that you and my sister are courting each other."

Anon spits out his drink. He has a shocked expression on his face. Luna chuckles as she sees Anon's words.

"Ah, the great Anonymous has nothing to say in return. I can only assume that my beliefs are true."

"No, we're not dating. Tia and I are just friends. Nothing more," Anon snaps. "¿Qué diablos? ¿Qué pasa con estos ponis pensando que estoy enamorado de la Princesa Celestia." (What the hell? What is up with these ponies thinking I'm in love with Princess Celestia)

Princess Luna's eyes narrow and lock with Anon's eyes. The look on her face makes Anon sweat. He never thought that someone much smaller than him would intimidate him, much less a pony princess who raises and lowers the moon and monitors ponies' dreams. Those duties alone slightly make Anon nervous, but the look is in Luna's eyes. It's the look of a warrior. The look is as cold as Anon's stare.

"How dare you, friend zone, my sister," Luna says aggressively.

"The actual fuck, Luna? Tia hasn't confessed any feelings to me. Therefore, I'm not exactly friend-zoning her. Even if she did confess feelings for me, I'd think about it for a long time. Dating isn't exactly something I like doing or am good at."

That grabs Luna's attention. "You dislike courting?"

"When you've been hurt by girls who think you're a joke, it ruins it."

"My apologies, Anonymous. I did not intend to open an old wound."

"It's okay, Luna. You didn't know. Besides, it was when I was in high school."

"Do you wish to talk about it? It is beneficial to talk about one's pain."

Anon shakes his head. "No thanks. It would be best if you weren't my therapist. Alcohol already has that job."

"Alcohol does not help anything, Anonymous."

"I'm aware, but I do appreciate the offer."

"In all seriousness, dear Anonymous, you mean a lot to Tia. You treat her as if she were a normal citizen pony, not as a sun goddess. My sister was devastated when you were injured during the altercation at the bar."

"I would feel the same way if she got hurt," Anon picks up his glass and sips. "So, how is Diamond Tiara's cleaning."

"From my observations, her skills are much more improved than when she started. I believe my motivations had something to do with it."

"I wouldn't doubt it. You have creative methods of torture."

"Cleaning a house is hardly torture, friend Anonymous."

"It is for rich people." Anon sips his drink.

"I take it that you don't like rich ponies."

Anon sighs deeply. "No, I do like them. Money or wealth makes no difference to me. I respect rich people who gained their wealth. One man became rich by selling houses, and a woman became rich by selling books. It's how some act because of their wealth. Some act as if they are entitled to certain things, like receiving service at a restaurant when they operate on a first-come, first-serve basis. What Diamond Tiara did is another thing entitled rich people to do: pushing other people around and making people do things. I have fallen victim to that. One boy, in particular, did the same thing that Diamond Tiara did. You can ask Tia about that."

Luna has a concerned look on her face. This is the first time Anon has opened up to her about his intentionally concealed past. Aside from knowing about Anon wanting to join the Army, Luna doesn't know anything about Anon's past. Anon's revelation about his past experiences with the entitled wealthy crowd also reveals another aspect of his character. Anon doesn't look on the outside but at the character of those around him. Luna finds this an admirable trait that most ponies don't have.

"What do you think of my sister and me?" Luna asks curiously.

Anon takes one final sip of his bourbon as he considers Luna's question. He sets down his glass next to him and faces Luna again.

"Do you want me to give you an honest answer or the answer you want?" Anon asks.

"The honest answer would be preferable."

"Okay. I think that you and Tia are frequently misunderstood."

This isn't the answer Luna is expecting. She sits down in front of Anon. Her posture looks as if she's a student in class, listening intently to the teacher's instructions.

"I am assuming you want an explanation," Anon says. Luna nods. "The reasoning for my answer is because of your royal positions. In your sister's case, the ponies of Equestria treat every word coming out of her mouth as if they are the words of a goddess. The words you say are treated like a judge condemning ponies to death. You two are trying to have a normal conversation with your subjects. If one of you cracks a joke, your subjects treat it as if you were being serious. You and Tia want to be treated like normal ponies. Now, all of what I just said is just an inference. Whether it is true or not is up to you."

"I am quite impressed, Anonymous. What you said is very profound and accurate. How did you make those inferences?"

"I based it off of what your sister told me and observations. I don't speak for you, of course. Tia told me that most ponies fear you rather than respect you."

"That is likely due to Nightmare Moon and what she did."

"I wouldn't doubt it. No offense."

"I took no offense, Anonymous." Luna stands up and looks at Anon's house. "As much as I'd like to continue this conversation. I must resume my watch over Diamond Tiara and her work."

"Make sure she doesn't touch my notebook. I don't want her anywhere near it."

"What is special about this notebook of yours?"

Anon flashes a cocky smile. "Secrets that are only known to me. Not even Tia knows what's in it."

"I will assume I cannot read it, too."

"Correct." Anon pulls down his sunglasses a bit and gives Luna a wink.

Luna walks the short distance to Anon's house. As for Anon, he leans back in the lawn chair, hoping that no other ponies will interrupt his attempts to take a much-needed nap. Fortunately, his hopes come true. Anon lets sleep overtake him. At first, he has small micro naps; then, rest occurs. It seems like he only napped for a few moments. Anon wakes up and looks up at the sky to determine the time. It is close to two o'clock. Anon gets up, stretches, and goes to his house.

By this time, Luna and Diamond Tiara have already left. Anon closes his eyes and smells the air within the house. The air smells like lemon and a hint of lavender. Anon knows that Luna had something to do with the lavender smell. Then, Anon gives the house an inspection. As Anon predicted, the house's cleanliness met his standards. If he is being honest, the house's cleanliness exceeded said standards.

Anon walks into his bedroom and puts on a T-shirt. Then, he sits at his desk, where his notebook is lying. He opens it up to a random journal entry. Anon begins to read the entry.

Here's what it says:

Day 113 in Equestria

Tia is coming by today. I bought her favorite cake from Sugar Cube Corner. Pinkie has caught on to why I keep buying that specific cake. I made Pinke "pinkie" promise (strange, huh?) that she won't tell anyone. Ironically, she doesn't blab secrets like I expected her to. I have the cake on the counter, close to the money jar. I might have stuck my finger in the frosting and licked it off. I can't help that the chocolate frosting tastes so good. Speaking of Tia, I've noticed something about her that I find very interesting. Every time I see her with the ponies around here, she acts differently around them than she does around me. It's like Tia has this "mask" that she wears. She acts as the formal Princess that everybody expects her to be. Tia takes that mask off when she's around me and acts like the other ponies who talk to me. Well, not exactly. She acts like the friends that I do have. I like to be alone with her because she puts on that stupid mask when other ponies come around. I wouldn't say I like it when she does that. I never thought I'd be friends with a pony princess in a million years. She treats me like Brandon Caldwell, Ally Brown, and Silas Ray. I was someone; it felt like someone cared about me like Mom and Dad never did. I guess they filled in that hole in my heart. When my friends and I went our separate ways after high school, that hole opened up again. Now that Tia is in my life, that hole is gone. I miss my friends on Earth so much. Brandon and his brotherly love towards me, Ally and her daughter, Silas, and his Irish accent. Those guys were my family. Oh crap...Tia just arrived. I will write more later.

A tear falls onto the page. It's Anon's tear. Anon quickly rubs his eyes and closes his notebook. The memories of his friends flood Anon's mind.

One memory that surfaces is the day Ally gave birth to her daughter. Ally had gotten pregnant at 17 by a classmate who didn't care for Ally or the child. He was only in the relationship for the sex. When the guy showed up in the Labor and Delivery Wing, Jacob, Brandon, and Silas jumped him and beat the shit out of the guy. Ally's father approved of the beating. Lucky for the baby daddy, the ER was two floors down.

Anon shakes his head and stands. He enters the living room and picks up a Daring Do book on the coffee table. Daring Do and the Search for the Sphinx's Temple. Surprisingly enough, it was Rainbow Dash who recommended the book series. What truly surprised Anon is that Rainbow Dash read books.

He picks up where he left off and sits on one of the couches. Daring Do is sneaking through what seems like a modern-day Egyptian bizarre. The titular hero sneaks through a bizarre because she spots Dr. Cabelleron and his goons.

Dr. Cabelleron is the typical greedy treasure hunter, looking for priceless artifacts to sell to the highest bidder. At the same time, Daring Do seeks long-lost treasures to put them into a public museum. In many ways, Daring Do reminded Anon of Indiana Jones. Except for the fact one wears a pith helmet, and the other wears a fedora.

The way the scene is written makes it seem like this happened. The entire series is that way. Anon makes a mental note to conduct some research.

Anon reads the book until 5:45 in the evening. Since it is almost closing time at Sugar Cube Corner, Anon decides to go ahead and make his way to the bakery. He puts on his shoes and puts on his knife.

When Anon walks into Ponyville, the usual ponies go home or head to the bar. However, when Anon passes the bar, Hard Cider's Watering Hole has a closed sign on the front. This puts Anon on edge. The bar is never closed.

Eventually, Anon reaches Sugar Cube Corner. The shop is already dark and appears to be closed. Either way, Anon turns the doorknob. He is surprised to find the door unlocked. Fearing something may be wrong, Anon pulls out his KA-BAR knife. He hears the familiar tingling of unicorn magic, so he gets into a fighting stance. Then, the light flicks on. Anon sees a multitude of ponies.

"SURPRISE!!!!" they shout. Confetti is thrown into the air, and party horns are blown.

Anon stumbles back a bit in shock. He sees the Main 6, Hard Cider, Filthy Rich, Spike, Granny Smith, Big Mac, Starlight Glimmer, the Cakes, Princess Luna, and Princess Celestia. The princesses are wearing party regalia instead of royal regalia. There is a green banner hanging up above the counter. In black, bold letters are the words, "YOU ARE OUR HERO!!! ". There are sweets and finger foods on the tables, along with drinks.

"What the hell is this?" Anon asks as he sheaths his drawn knife.

"It's a party for you, silly!" Pinkie Pie says in her cheery voice. "This is what I wanted to give you! A party!"

"What did I do to deserve a party?"

"You stood up for Fluttershy when she couldn't defend herself. When confronted with a weapon, you didn't back down and continued to fight," Starlight replies.

"I started the fight that got Hard Cider hurt, killed a griffin, and got the rest of the group deported back to the Griffin Empire. I don't think that makes me a hero."

"You are a hero in our eyes, Anon. That's what matters," Twilight says.

Anon pauses for a moment as he looks over at the drinks. He spots a small, clear plastic cup that has a familiar-looking liquid. Anon walks over to the glasses. He picks up a cup and smells the liquid. The drink is a soda. It is root beer. Only one pony knows that root beer is his favorite drink. Anon looks at Rarity and gives her a half-smile. Rarity gives Anon a wink.

"Even though I don't deserve any of this-" Anon says. He takes a sip of his root beer. "-let's get this party started." The ponies cheer. Anon raises his glass and gives a slight nod to Pinkie.

Ponies begin getting food and conversing with one another. Anon starts talking to the Apples. Eventually, Anon ends up challenging Big Mac to a cupcake-eating contest. Unexpectedly, Anon loses the competition by two cupcakes. Anon accepts the defeat and shakes hooves with Big Mac.

Then, Anon hangs out with the Mane 6 and Hard Cider. Anon is listening to an adventure the Mane 6 had in the Crystal Empire that Rainbow Dash tells. It's about a "Crystalling" of Twilight's niece, Flurry Heart. Most of the time, Rainbow Dash talks about her experiences and, as usual, talks about how this part would be 20% cooler if this happened. Anon thinks that Rainbow Dash has a fetish for the number 20. Anon's eyes have wandered over to Celestia. What is attractive to Anon is Celestia's behavior. She doesn't have her "mask" on. She is conversing with the Cakes as if she were an average pony. Anon smiles.

Then, a cyan hoof waves in front of Anon.

"Equestria to Anon," Rainbow Dash says.

"Oh...sorry. I zoned out there for a second," Anon apologizes.

"Were you even listening?" Rainbow Dash sounds insulted.

"Yes, I was. You and your friends were in the Crystal Empire for Twilight's niece's Crystalling."

Rarity had noticed that Anon wasn't making eye contact with Rainbow Dash as he had ten minutes ago. She turned to see who Anon was looking at.

"Anon, darling, who were you looking at?" she asks.

Anon flexes his fingers. "No one."

He stands up, but pain rushes to his side. He winces, holds his side, and doubles over. It almost feels like getting stabbed all over again.

"Are you okay, Anon?" Applejack asks as she places a hoof on Anon's hand.

"I'll live," Anon replies. "I'm going to get some air." Anon walks over to the door and steps outside. A gentle, cool breeze blows as Anon sits against the wall, out of view of the partying ponies.

Anon can tell that fall is coming soon. Some of the leaves have already changed into their fall colors. The month is November, so the leaf color change and the Running of the Leaves are expected. Not only that, it is the 10th. Anon had figured out the date by glancing at the calendar in Sugar Cube Corner. It was the first time he bothered to look at a calendar since arriving in Equestria. Pinkie doesn't even know that she threw a party for Anon on his birthday. Jacob Kyle Irving is now 22 years old.

Anon begins to contemplate the past 22 years of his life. Instead of mentally bitching about his life, Anon thinks about the good parts of his life. His best friends on Earth, their adventures, and the friends he's made in Equestria.

Then, Anon hears the door of the bakery open. Out of the corner of Anon's eye, he sees Princess Celestia. She walks over to Anon and sits on the ground next to him.

"What are you doing out here?" Celestia asks.

"Getting some air," Anon replies.

"Is the party too much for you?" Celestia teases.

"Hardy har har. I've been to wilder parties than this."

"So I've been told."

The two friends sit silently momentarily, gazing up at the stars. Anon silently names the constellations he can spot.

"My sister has done an excellent job with the view tonight.

"Yeah. I haven't been able to see the sky because of the cloud cover, but tonight takes the cake."

"Speaking of jobs, I've seen many of your projects around Ponyville. I'm quite impressed. You've worked hard to make Ponyville a hidden gem."

"Thank you. I try to give my customers their money's worth."

Celestia sighs. There is a question that she has wanted to ask Anon for a while now. However, she doesn't know how to ask it. Asking Anon the wrong way might sway his decision.

Anon can tell there is something wrong with Princess Celestia because she is strangely quiet, and it's not because she wants there to be silence. Anon places a hand on Celestia's shoulder.

"Is everything okay?" Anon asks.

"Yes. I have a question to ask you, but I don't know how to ask it," she replies.

"Ask, Tia. You don't have to be all fancy." Anon tries to sound reassuring.

Princess Celestia looks at Anon. "How would you like to work at the Canterlot Castle as a royal...handyman?"

That catches Anon off guard. "A job? At Canterlot Castle?"

"You've done a fine job doing odd jobs around Ponyville. The castle staff could use your many talents. You will have a free room; since we are friends, you can eat in the Royal Dining Hall. I'll even pay you."

"For the sake of conversation, how much will you pay me?"

"Ten bits an hour."

"You don't have to pay me that much. Shit, I'll work for free because a free room and meals are payment enough."

"So, you're accepting the job?"

"I don't know. This is sudden, and I would like time to consider it. I'll let you know when I have an answer."

"That's all I ask."

It's about two o'clock in the morning. Luna, the Mane 6, Celestia, Anon, and Spike are cleaning up the bakery. The Cakes have already gone to bed. Anon works alone as he considers Princess Celestia's job offer—a royal handyman. The job sounds like something Anon could get behind. Also, the benefits he'd receive if he took the job are phenomenal. Anon continues weighing the decision as he takes the garbage to the dumpster. Anon notices Rarity has followed him out the back door—typical Rarity.

"Can I help you with something," Anon asks as he throws the large bag into the dumpster. He tries not to sound irritated.

"You have been distracted since you stepped outside to get some air. I just wanted to make sure everything was alright, darling."

"Everything is fine. Princess Celestia offered me a job as a handyman at Canterlot Castle. If I accept, I'll get a free room and eat in the Royal Dining Hall. I don't know whether I should take the job or leave it.

"A job at the royal palace?! If I were you, I would have taken the job immediately!"

"It's not that easy, Rarity. I want to be sure it's the right choice. I've lived in Ponyville for months and put my blood, sweat, and tears into this town. Besides, I've heard the nobles, such as myself, aren't too accepting of low lives.

"The fact that Princess Celestia personally offered you a job is something that most ponies dream of. It's not everypony gets a job at the Castle. Only the best ponies work there. Besides, who cares what the noble ponies think? They don't know who you are."

"So you think I should take the job?"

"Of course, darling. I think you would do an excellent job as a handyman. Your work here shows it, too." Rarity turns around. "I'll leave you to your thinking."

Rarity trots back into Sugar Cube Corner while Anon stands outside. If Anon is being honest, Rarity made some valid points.

"Royal handyman, huh?" Anon says aloud. He turns and looks up at the distant city of Canterlot. "Well, Canterlot, here I come."

Anon in Canterlot Part 1

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Chapter 6

A calm autumn breeze blows as Anon takes a deep breath. A few leaves fall from the almost bare trees on Anon's property. Anon tightens his grip on his KA-BAR knife as he gets into a kali fighting stance. His eyes are closed, but he quickly opens them. Suddenly, Anon sidekicks the air. He follows up with many slashes, stabs, and strikes that follow the techniques of Brazilian jiu-jitsu and other martial arts modified for knife fighting. After about two or three minutes, Anon finishes throwing his knife at a tree trunk. Disappointingly, the knife bounces off and lands nearby. Anon grunts in frustration. He controls his breathing as he walks over to his knife. Anon picks it up and goes into his house. For the past week, Anon has been going outside and doing this for a half-hour. He thought it would be good practice since he almost died defending Fluttershy and Hard Cider. Anon knew he needed to get better at defending himself.

It's been a week since Anon's decision to move to Canterlot. Today is the day he makes his move. Anon is mostly packed, aside from his bedding and his journal. Anon puts on his shirt and slides his knife back into its sheath. He puts his journal in his already stuffed backpack. He rolls up the blanket Rarity gave him as you would a sleeping bag. Anon ties the blanket to the top of his pack via some rope he bought yesterday.

Then, Anon hears a knock on the front door. He remembers that Princess Celestia had told him she would send one of the Royal Guards to escort him to Canterlot via a train. Anon doesn't understand why he needs an armed escort. It's not like one of the nobles would attack him. Was the guard's presence needed to prevent Anon from attacking a noble? Fair enough, considering Anon's less-than-favorable opinion of them.

Anon opens the door and looks down. He sees a dark purple unicorn mare dressed in Royal Guard armor. The armor has light purple markings, signifying that she is a commissioned officer, and the blue plume is longer in the back of her helmet. What stands out the most is the mare's horn, which protrudes from a hole in the helmet, is broken, and a noticeable scar vertically runs down her right eye.

"Good morning," Anon greets. "Are you the guard that Princess Celestia sent?"

"Yes, I am," the guard replies. Her voice is calm, but it carries a significant amount of authority. "You must be Anonymous."

"Guilty as charged, but most ponies call me Anon. What's your name?"

"I am Captain Tempest Shadow of the Royal Guard."

Anon raises an eyebrow. "Captain? How many captains are in the Royal Guard?"

"Fifteen."

"There's quite a few of you. How come I've only heard about two or three?"

"The few you hear about are usually the top of their class in everything, and their parents are high on the nobility totem pole."

"That would explain why I've never heard of you. No offense, Captain."

"No offense taken. It's just the way things are."

"Why don't you come in and take a seat, Captain? It's chilly outside."

Anon steps out of the way as Tempest walks through the doorway. She sits on the couch facing the window as Anon walks into the bare kitchen. He reaches into a cabinet and pulls out a bottle of craft beer. He uses his multitool bottle cap opener and opens the bottle. Anon walks over and sits across from Tempest. He takes a sip of his beer.

"So, Captain Tempest, what does it take to be a Royal Guard?" Anon asks.

"As you may have heard or read, the Royal Guard is an elite branch of soldiers in the Equestrian Armed Forces. All you have to do is enlist, but the training is difficult. Most recruiters insist on joining the Solar Guard before enlisting in the Royal Guard."

"The Lunar Guard can't apply?"

"No. It's due to the thestrals that make up 60% of the Lunar Guard. Most of the noble ponies consider them to be demons, which thestrals are anyway. The nobles think that thestrals infect the minds of the 'regular ponies,' making them 'unfit to be Royal Guardsponies.' The advisers at the time and King Cosmos and Queen Galaxia decided that only the Solar Guards could apply."

"That doesn't make any fucking sense."

"You're telling me. Once you've entered the Royal Guard training and passed the tests, you can wear the blue plumes instead of the white ones. Ponies in the Royal Academy can go directly into training after graduating since they spent years training, studying, and thousands of bits for tuition to be Royal Guards. If they do pass, they become commissioned officers."

"Interesting." Anon takes a sip of his beer. "Hey, do you mind if I go someplace before we leave? I need to say 'goodbye' to an old friend."

"Sure, if we leave in a few minutes."

"Let me see if I have anything else I need to pack. Then we'll leave."

Anon finishes his beer, puts the bottle in a nearby trashcan, and enters his bedroom. He looks under his bed, in the drawers of his desk, and in his chest of drawers. Once he looks through all of the places he might have left something, he puts on his camouflage cap.

He walks back into the living room. Tempest is waiting by the door, so Anon puts on his backpack and leaves the house. He waits for Tempest to step out of the house before closing the door and locking it. Anon walks about fifty feet before taking one last look at his home. He stands there for a few moments and sighs deeply.

"Having second thoughts?" Tempest asks.

"Nah. I've put my blood and sweat into that house. Hard to leave it behind," Anon replies.

"Can't say I understand."

Anon looks at the house until he turns around and leads Tempest into Ponyville. The townsponies wave at Anon. He waves back.

Tempest finds it strange that the ponies of Ponyville have trusted this bipedal creature. Something about Anon makes Tempest nervous, and it's rare for something to make Tempest nervous. Perhaps it's his size. No, it can't be. The Storm Guards she commanded when she served the Storm King were much larger than Anon. However, Anon's size and muscular build do seem threatening. Tempest had heard about Anon's fight with the griffins. It is impressive that he incapacitated three of them with his bare hands and killed one with a knife. Although, she did hear about Anon getting stabbed and almost dying. Perhaps it was the blind rage described in a report given to Princess Celestia.

Eventually, the two teach Hard Cider's Watering Hole. Tempest furrows her eyebrows as Anon opens the door.

"What are you doing here?"

"Getting a drink and saying goodbye to someone."

"You just had a drink."

"What can I say? I love alcohol. Are you coming in or what?"

"Since I'm your escort, I have no choice."

Anon walks through the entrance and up to the bar where Hard Cider is sitting at his usual spot, reading the Ponyville Express. Hard Cider sets down his paper and grins as Anon and Tempest approach. He turns around and uses his magic to get two glasses and a bottle of bourbon. Then, he puts three ice cubes using his magic and pours the whiskey into the glasses. Anon picks up the glass.

"You know me too well, Hard Cider," Anon says, smiling as he takes a sip.

"As a bartender, I must know everyponys' usual drink."

Hard Cider begins to sip his drink, but he looks at Tempest, standing a few feet behind Anon.

"I'm assuming you are on duty, Captain," Hard Cider tells Tempest.

"Yes, sir. Although, I would like to have a glass of water."

Hard Cider turns around and fills a glass with water. Anon, however, is confused.

"How did you know she was a captain?" Anon asks.

"Look at her shoulder plates. Do you see two silver bars that are connected?"

Anon looks over at Tempest's shoulder plates as she sits down. "I do. How did you see that from ten feet away? The Captain's bars aren't exactly easy to see."

"You learn real quick to notice a CO's rank insignia. A friend of mine, Private Blacksmith, got chewed the hell out for not saluting a sergeant. He didn't even see the stripes on the armor," Hard Cider explains.

Tempest uses her magic to pick up her glass. Anon notices the aura of her magic appears ragged and unstable, much like Kylo Ren's lightsaber. The magic's aura is light blue. Tempest drinks the water and sets the glass down.

"You were a guardspony?" Tempest asks Hard Cider.

"Yes. I was a Solar Guard for one year and a Royal Guard for three years."

"That would explain your knowledge of the Guard manual."

"I remember a few parts. It's been a while since I've looked at it."

Hard Cider and Anon simultaneously drink the rest of their drinks. Anon pushes his glass aside as he stands up.

"It's been good knowing you, Hard Cider. You've been a great friend to me. I don't say that to a lot of people."

"You've been a great friend, as well. I typically don't make friends with my patrons, but you are an exception. I'll miss having you swinging by for a drink and a chat."

"Me, too, buddy." Anon sticks out his hand. Hard Cider sets his hoof in Anon's hand, and Anon shakes it.

"Take care of yourself, Anon."

"You, too."

Anon releases Hard Cider's hoof and turns to walk out of the bar. Tempest is close behind. Then, Anon hears Hard Cider call out to him.

"Hey, Anon. If you're looking for a place to drink, go to Flasks and Mugs. It's a bar close to the castle, and it's owned by my cousin Smooth Bourbon and his wife, Sweet Mimosa. I sent a letter telling them to watch for you."

"I'll take a look at it. See you."

"See you, too."

Anon and Tempest leave the bar, leaving Hard Cider with his newspaper. Hard Cider uses his magic to pick it up. He tries to read an article about pony settlers in the Griffin Empire being persecuted by the local griffins. The king of the empire, King Grover the Second, is trying to end the persecution by opening trade and diplomatic negotiations with Equestria. However, Hard Cider isn't able to focus. His mind begins to wander. He turns to the photo of him and Bronze Greaves with Captain Spear Shaft unintentionally photobombing in the background. Hard Cider notices that Anon and Bronze Greaves are very much alike. Young, restless, a fighter, and a good taste in alcohol. It makes Hard Cider sad to see Anon leave. Hard Cider doesn't have many friends as a bartender. Anon is one of those few who sees Hard Cider as more than a local bartender. Most of the time, ponies see him as such, not as a stallion you drink and talk your troubles away with. A single tear falls as Hard Cider sets down his paper. He uses his hoof to wipe it out.

Then, he spots a stallion with a blue coat, white mane, and tail sitting at the bar. The stallion looks depressed.

"What can I get you, sir?" Hard Cider asks.

"The strongest thing you've got to drink," the stallion responds.

"Rough morning, huh?"

"A shitty life is more like it."

"Care to share?"

"If you've got time."

Hard Cider smiles. "I've got plenty."

Waiting at the train station, Anon and Captain Tempest sit on a bench near the ticket booth. Tempest is making slight adjustments to her armor via her magic. Anon slumps on the bench, trying to take a quick nap, with his cap pulled down; however, sleep evades him. He had been trying to nap for half an hour. Eventually, Anon sighs and gives up. He sits up and raises his cap.

"Seriously, why couldn't Princess Celestia pick me in the Royal Chariot?" Anon asks. "It would have been much quicker than waiting and riding a train for three fucking hours."

"I guess the nobles would get suspicious if they saw you are riding with the Princess," Tempest replies.

Anon chuckles. "I supposed so."

Then, they hear the faint whistle of a train whistle—Anon spots puffs of steam. Anon stands up and puts on his backpack. Tempest stands up, as well. The train slowly pulls into the station, and the car doors open. A few ponies exit the passenger car doors.

Anon and Tempest are about to board when Anon hears a familiar bookmark Princess's voice call out to him. He turns around and sees the Mane 6 and Spike walking to the train station. Twilight is wearing the saddlebag she usually carries.

"Girls, what are you doing here?" Anon asks.

"We came to see you off, silly," Pinkie Pie laughs. Anon hears a groan from Tempest. "Fizzlepop Berrytwist? You're the guard that Princess Celestia sent."

"Yes, I am," Tempest replies coldly. "And it's Captain Tempest Shadow, now."

Anon looks down at Tempest in confusion. "Wait. Tempest Shadow isn't your real name?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Entiendo más de lo que piensa, Capitán." (I understand more than you think, Captain.)

Tempest raises an eyebrow. "What did you say?"

"Nothing. Anyway, I appreciate you girls coming to say 'goodbye.'"

"We wouldn't miss it for the world, darling," Rarity says.

"This is a big step you are taking," Fluttershy says

"C'mon, everyone. It's no big deal," Anon replies

"NO BIG DEAL!!!" Pinkie shrieks. Everyone winces as Pinkie's shrill shout almost shatters their eardrums. "You're moving to Canterlot Castle! Of course, it's a big deal! It's a huge deal!"

"If I need to spend a weekend down here, I'll get on the earliest train to Ponyville."

"You promise?" Applejack asks.

Anon gives an Eagle Scout salute. "Scout's honor."

"We also wanted to give you something before you leave for Canterlot," Twilight announces as her horn lights up. She pulls a picture frame from her saddlebag and puts it in Anon's hands.

In the frame is a picture taken on the night of Anon's hero's party. The image is of everyone that was there. Anon doesn't understand why, but a tear falls from his eye. The Mane 6 is in shock. The man who hides his emotions blankly is shedding a tear. Anon wipes away the tear and smiles.

"What do you think of the picture, Anon?" Twilight asks.

"It's perfect. You know, I didn't have many friends growing up. I only had three friends who I considered family. One of them had a kid at a young age, and it was a part of that family just as much as everyone else. After we went our separate ways when we graduated high school, I thought I would never have that kind of family again. I thought I had been most inconvenienced when I got dropped here, but then I realized I have friends I can call family. Thank you for this photo. It just shows how good my life here really is."

"Your welcome, Anon. Just so you know, if you need anything, let us know. We've got your back," Rainbow Dash replies.

"I will."

Anon is silent until he squats down in front of Spike. He removes his hat and sets it backward on Spike's head.

"Hold on to that until I come back, will you," Anon says as he stands up.

"Gotcha," Spike replies. Anon and Spike give each other a knuckle bump.

"All aboard!" the conductor yells.

"Well, that's our cue. See you guys later," Anon announces.

"Goodbye, Anon!" the Mane 6 shouted.

Anon and Tempest turn towards the train and walk into the passenger car.

The car is spacious, and very few ponies are on the train. Only three ponies are in the car. One passenger is asleep, another reads a book, and the last is knitting. Anon and Tempest sit off to themselves in the middle of the car. Anon removes his backpack while Tempest removes her helmet and her sword belt. She sets them neatly next to her. Anon and Tempest sit in seats facing each other. Anon notices that Tempest's mane isn't as long as other mare's. It's cut short, but it makes her look like a soldier.

"Hey, Captain, mind if I ask you a question?" Anon asks as the train begins to move forward.

"Sure," Tempest replies flatly.

"What happened to your horn?"

"An Ursa Minor knocked it off."

"A constellation knocked off your horn?"

"No. Ursa Minor is a bear. It lives in a cave outside Ponyville with its mother, Ursa Major."

"I assume that's where you got your scar, too."

"You would be assuming correctly."

"Were you outcasted because of your horn? From what I've seen, ponies are almost exactly like humans. You were outcasted if you were different in what they don't like."

Tempest narrows her eyes. A familiar coldness fills them. "That's none of your damn business, so I'd prefer you keep your nose out of it."

Well played, Tia, well played, Anon thinks. A pony version of me, hmm? This should be an adventure.

"Let me guess. I didn't want you to tell me about your past because it left wounds that won't heal and scars that won't go away. Therefore, when ponies ask about said past, you clam up, insult them, and tell them it's none of their business. Those more persistent about discovering your painful past, you tend to treat them like a pile of shit to push them away. Creating an emotional barrier, cutting you off from the rest of the ponies around you. Am I right?"

Tempest's facial expression is now one of surprise. "Did you...know that?"

"We are the same, Captain. What I described to you is what I used to do when I first arrived in Equestria."

"Impressive, Anon."

"Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to take a nap," Anon puts his legs on the seat across from him and slips down in his chair.

"Go ahead. I'll wake you when we arrive, if not sooner."

"Sounds good to me," Anon yawns in Canterlot.

Anon closes his eyes. Within a few minutes, he falls asleep.

Anon wakes up to Tempest shaking his leg. Anon's eyes open as Tempest continues shaking his leg.

"Hey, wake up. We're here," Tempest announces.

"Stop shaking my leg, damn it. I'm awake," Anon growls.

Tempest retracts her leg.

Anon stretches and yawns. He can see the train station as the train begins to slow down. Anon is amazed at the grandeur of the station. Its architecture is much more beautiful compared to the one in Ponyville. Then, the conductor walks into the passenger car.

"Pulling into Canterlot Royal Train Station. Prepare to depart," he calls out. The train finally comes to a stop.

Tempest puts on her helmet and sword belt as Anon puts on his backpack. Along with the three other passengers, two walk onto the platform. Tempest leads Anon through the crowded train station and onto the street. Then, they begin walking toward the castle. While Tempest is more focused on getting to the castle, Anon is more interested in the beauty of Canterlot. Even the smallest of shops are beautiful.

"Woah, this place looks amazing. It looks way better in person," Anon says.

"Once you live here long enough, you get used to it, but you do have a point," Tempest replies.

They continue walking through Canterlot as the street becomes more crowded. Anon notices that the ponies aren't dressed as he expected. Most of them look the same as the ones in Ponyville. Very few look like what Anon would call "wealthy."

As for the ponies themselves, they look at Anon with confusion, primarily because they haven't seen his species before. Anon notices this but gives them the benefit of the doubt. Others whisper about Captain Tempest. Many remember the day she arrived in Canterlot as Commander Tempest, the right-hoof mare of the dreaded Storm King. Tempest hears these whispers. She ignores them, but it isn't straightforward. All she wants to do is forget about her past, but the ponies won't let her live it down.

"I must say, the ponies here are different than I expected," Anon announces as the two begin crossing a large bridge with a river running underneath it.

"How so?" Tempest asks.

"I expected most of the ponies in Canterlot to be rich assholes."

"Canterlot is arranged differently. The closer you get to the castle, the higher the cost of living. The noble ponies set it up that way. An underhoofed way of getting closer to the princesses as if they were a goddess."

"Let me guess: once we cross the bridge, we'll be in rich pony territory."

"Yes, so keep your insults to yourself. Some of them influence the government."

"I'll try."

Anon and Tempest continue walking. Now Anon sees what Tempest is talking about. Ponies on this side of the bridge are wealthy. Stallions are wearing expensive suits. Some of the stallions wear a monocle or a top hat. Mares wear dresses as Princess Celestia would wear at a gala. Anon sees a couple of mares wearing sashes and or satin hats. Then, Anon hears crueler whispers than he expected, but they aren't even aimed at him. They're aimed at Tempest. Words like "traitorous whore" or "traitor" are thrown around. This somewhat concerns Anon.

"Uh...Captian. Why are they calling you a traitor?" Anon asks.

"I don't want to talk about it," Tempest snaps.

"Fair enough, but shouldn't you be slightly concerned that they're treating you with blatant disrespect."

"No, I'm not. Neither should you."

Fuck, was I like this? How did Twilight put up with my shit? Anon thinks to himself.

Finally, Tempest and Anon arrive at the front gates of the castle grounds. A large wall surrounds the grounds. Two Royal Guards, an earth pony, and a unicorn stand at attention in front of the gate. Each one clutches a spear in their left hoof and has a sword belt strapped to their left side. Their gold-colored armor sparkles in the sunlight. They stare straight ahead even as Tempest approaches them.

"Captain," the guards say as they salute.

Tempest salutes back. "Gentleponies, open the gates. I must report to Princess Celestia immediately."

"And what of this...thing?" The unicorn guard asks. He leans his spear forward, motioning towards Anon.

"This is Anonymous. He is an honored guest of the Princesses and an employee of the Canterlot Castle staff. He can come and go as he pleases. This comes from the Princesses themselves."

"Yes, ma'am," the guards say.

The unicorn Royal Guard's horn lights up and opens the gates. Tempest and Anon walk through the entrance of the castle grounds and into a courtyard. Various flowers, bushes, and trees grow in the courtyard. White-plumed Solar Guards stand at attention at specific points around the courtyard. Tempest and Anon walk down a cobblestone path to the castle's entrance. Two Solar Guards stand at the door. Like the Royal Guards, they salute as Tempest and Anon approach them. The guards give Anon strange looks but relax when Tempest gives them an assuring nod. One of the guards, a jet-black unicorn, uses her magic to open the large doors.

Anon is shocked at the grandeur of the main foyer of Canterlot Castle. He stands in the doorway for a moment to take in its beauty. Tempest has to tap Anon a few times to get him to move again. They walk up some stairs and begin walking down a highly long hallway. Every few feet stands an armored and fully-armed Solar Guard. Each one salutes as Tempest walks by. However, the lack of Royal Guards confuses Anon.

"Hey, where are the Royal Guards?" he asks.

"They guard the more important places in the castle. Places like the throne room, the princesses' chambers, etc."

"Anything related to the princesses."

"Usually, they guard our embassies in other countries or important government buildings in Canterlot. They also patrol the city and its surrounding areas."

"It makes sense to have Royal Guards posted at those places. I'm surprised that I haven't seen any Lunar Guards."

"Considering that they are the night guard, they are probably asleep. You might see a few Lunar Guard officers here and there."

Tempest and Anon spend the next fifteen minutes walking through the endless hallways and climbing stairs. Every once in a while, Anon will stop and look at something that interests him.

Finally, they reach Anon's new bedroom. Tempest gives Anon his room key and then walks inside.

The room is large. There is a window about the size of a door, and a large desk sits underneath the window. There is also a king-size bed with the most excellent sheets and blanket Anon has ever seen. A nightstand with a lamp sits next to the bed. There is also a chest of drawers near the door. Anon sets his backpack next to the door and walks to the window. The view is fantastic. Anon can even see Ponyville.

Then, Anon walks into the bathroom. The bathroom has a white marble floor and a marble sink. The shower is large enough for two full-sized alicorns to stand inside. A shower mat with Princess Celestia's cutie mark lays in front of the shower. The bathroom has the basic toiletries that Anon needs. Anon walks out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom.

"I'll let you get settled. I must inform Princess Celestia of your safe arrival," Tempest announced. "A Royal Guard will escort you to the Royal Dining Hall around five o'clock."

"I need an escort for that?" Anon asks.

"Princess Celestia thought it would be wise."

"Of course," Anon grumbled. "Well, see you later, Captain."

"Goodbye, Anonymous."

Tempest turns and uses her magic to close the door. Anon walks over to his bed, puts Rarity's blanket on top, and lays on the bed. The bed is fluffy, as well as the pillow. He lays on the bed for a few minutes until he unpacks. Anon removes his clothes from his backpack and puts them into the chest of drawers. He finishes unpacking in ten minutes. Then, Anon pulls out a book from his bag that Twilight lets him have. For the next few hours, Anon reads his book.

At five o'clock sharp, Anon hears a knock on the door. He gets up off his bed and opens the door. An orange pegasus Royal Guard stands at the door. The guard looks much younger than the other guards Anon has seen. Anon can see two stripes on the shoulder plates, signifying the guard's rank as a corporal.

"I'm assuming you are my escort?" Anon asks.

"Yes, I am," the guard responds.

"What's your name?"

"I am Corporal Flash Sentry of the Royal Guard."

"A pleasure. I am Anonymous, but you can call me Anon."

Anon squats down and shakes Flash's hoof.

"It's very nice to meet you, Anon. Now that pleasantries are out of the way, follow me to the Royal Dining Hall."

Anon locks up his room and follows Flash down the hallway.

"You know, Corporal, you don't have to be too professional with me. Unless Princess Celestia has told you differently."

"She hasn't. Princess Celestia told me you might ask if I could be less professional with you," Flash replies.

"Of course she did," Anon mutters. However, a smile creeps up on Anon's face.

Flash leads Anon down the hallway. Every once in a while, they would cross paths with an officer. Flash would snap to attention and salute the officer. The officer would give Flash a salute back and keep walking, and Anon and Flash would continue down the hallway.

Within ten minutes, the two arrived at the Royal Dining Hall. The doors are much like the doors at the castle entrance.

Two Royal Guards stand at the large door. Anon doesn't see any rank insignia on their shoulder plates, so he assumes the guards are privates.

"Privates Bush and Petal, open the doors," Flash ordered.

"Oh, come on, Flash. You get promoted to Corporal and think you are a General of the EAF," Private Thorn Bush says.

"Yeah, she's right," Private Rose Petal adds.

"Just open the door," Flash groans.

"Don't get your mane in a twist," Thorn said. She nods at Rose, and they open the doors. Flash and Anon enter the dining hall.

The Royal Dining Hall isn't what Anon expected. A long granite table is in the middle of the room. Five wooden chairs with eloquently designed cushions are set evenly around the table. Six large stained glass windows are on each side of the room. On the table are expensive plates and silverware. What surprised Anon is instead of seeing two alicorns, he saw three. The third alicorn is pink, almost taller than Luna but skinny. It is Princess Cadence.

The princesses look towards Anon and Flash Sentry as the doors close. Flash promptly bows as Anon stands there.

"Anon, now," Flash ordered quietly.

"It's okay, Flash. We know each other," Anon replies. "Well, except for the other one."

"Treating the princesses with respect is still a good idea."

"I'm only treating them the way I want to be treated." Flash shakes his head and remains bowed.

Princess Celestia walks over to Flash Sentry and Anon. Anon gives a small wave.

"Your Highness, I apologize for Mr. Anonymous's lack of respect. I'm not sure if he is-"

"It's quite alright, Corporal Sentry. Anonymous and I are good friends," Celestia interrupts. She motions for Flash to stand up, and he follows suit. "Welcome to Canterlot, Anon. I hope your train ride was wonderful."

"Eh...it was okay, I guess. I was asleep the entire time," Anon answers.

"It's a shame you didn't see the view."

"I saw the view from my bedroom, which was amazing."

Anon leans to his right to the side and looks at Princess Cadence, who is poking awkwardly at the floor.

"And who is that exactly?" Anon asks.

"Oh, my. Where are my manners? Anon, this is my royal niece, Princess Cadence of the Crystal Empire," Princess Celestia says. Cadence approaches Anon as Celestia introduces her.

Anon extends his hand. "A pleasure to meet you."

Cadence sets her hoof in Anon's hand. "Likewise."

Anon shakes her hoof and releases it. Then, he turns his attention to Luna, who is standing nearby. "Luna. How's my favorite moon goddess?"

"Quite well, friend Anonymous."

"Now that introductions are out of the way let's sit down for dinner. I'm sure you are hungry, Anon," Celestia announces.

"Oh, hell yeah. I forgot to buy snacks before I left, so hungry is an understatement."

"Corporal Sentry, you are welcome to eat with us if you'd like. I've already spoken with Lieutenant Blade. He was fine with it."

"I would like that. Thank you, Princess."

All five sit in the chairs surrounding the table. Princess Celestia sits at the head. Luna and Cadence sit on Celestia's left, while Flash and Anon sit on her right. Princess Celestia ignites her horn and sends a summoning spell. Within moments, a sharply dressed stallion walks into the dining hall through a door that leads to the kitchen. The stallion walks over to the group. He carries a clipboard on his hoof. When he reaches the table, the stallion gives a slight bow.

"Good evening, Princesses, Guard, and..." The waiter trails off as he looks at Anon. Anon can hear the solid English accent in the server's voice. "Uh...green ape...thing."

Anon pinches the bridge of his nose. "Jesus, it's Ponyville all over again."

"Sorry, Mr. Chef. I forgot to mention that we would have a guest of another species," Princess Celestia apologizes.

"Think nothing of it, Your Highness," the waiter replies. "Now, tonight's appetizer will be a garden salad or a bowl of soup and a drink."

"That's an appetizer?" Anon asks quietly as he leans over to Flash.

"I guess. Soup is usually a meal for us guard ponies. Aside from breakfast, of course," Flash answers as the waiter takes Princess Celestia's order.

When the waiter gets to Anon, Anon orders broccoli and cheddar soup, and bourbon. Flash orders a salad with ranch dressing and water to drink. When the waiter finishes taking orders, he returns to the kitchen. Anon and Celestia begin to catch up while Cadence watches Anon.

To Cadence, Anon seems like a well-mannered and polite creature, aside from frequently using swear words. What catches her attention is that he speaks to Luna and Celestia as if they're average citizens, not semi-immortal goddesses. He even cracks a joke about Luna, which gets a chuckle out of her. Nopony would dare do that to Luna for fear of being sent to the dungeons or worse.

After the waiter brings out the appetizers, the dining hall is quiet as everyone begins to eat. However, Cadence uses this opportunity to speak to Anon.

"So, Anon. How do you like it here in Equestria?" Cadence asks.

Dang it. Why in Equestria did I ask such a crappy question? Cadence thinks to herself.

Anon takes a drink of his bourbon. "It's been...interesting."

"Interesting in the sense of...?"

"In the sense of a learning experience. For starters, finding out that this world is full of talking, pastel-colored ponies, and other creatures associated with myths from my world. The minotaurs, for example."

"That's fair. I'm sure Twilight enjoyed learning from you."

"You have no idea."

"Was it hard to transition from your world to this one?"

Anon sighs. "Yes and no. When I first got here, I had to start from Square One. Shit, for a while, I lived at a makeshift campsite that I built from scratch. Eventually, I could buy a rundown house on the edge of Ponyville that I repaired. Getting a job wasn't hard since almost everyone in Ponyville needed something fixed or shored up. Strangely enough, all of that was the easy part. Creating friendships wasn't exactly my niche. Most of the time, I was in self-imposed isolation. Twilight tried 'helping' me with my 'friendship problem' by shoving ponies down my fucking throat. However, she learned I could make friends independently, and she was hindering me by forcing ponies down my throat to be my friend. In the long run, I made friends that will last a while."

Cadence asks one final question that throws Anon completely off-guard. "Do you have a marefriend yet?"

Anon was taking a sip of bourbon when Cadence asked him that question. He almost chokes on the whiskey. Princess Celestia leans her head in as if interested in Anon's response.

"No," Anon answers flatly. "Why?"

"Just curious."

"If you're submitting an application, I'm sorry, but I'm not exactly into interspecies relationships."

Flash begins to laugh extremely hard along with Princess Luna. Princess Cadence blushes a deep shade of red. As for Princess Celestia, she facehoofs and shakes her head. Anon is confused by the commotion.

"What the fuck is so funny?" he asks.

"You do...realize that Cadence...has a husband, correct?" Princess Luna says in between laughs.

Anon opens his mouth to say something, but he stops himself. He thinks back to his conversation with Hard Cider the night of the bar fight. The part of the conversation where Hard Cider mentioned Shining Armor's relationship with Princess Cadence doesn't come as quickly as Anon would've hoped.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot about that," Anon says innocently.

"How could you forget the Princess of the Crystal Empire was married?" Flash asks, still recovering from laughing.

"I was in a coma for three weeks. I should be allowed some understanding here."

Cadence raises both of her eyebrows in surprise. "How did you end in a coma?"

Anon pulls up the right side of his shirt to reveal the scar. The memories of that fateful night flood into Anon's mind. The many punches he took and gave, Gail backhanding Hard Cider, and the white-hot pain of getting stabbed. Then, Anon provides a short synopsis of what happened that night—Cadence twinges when Anon describes the gruesome death of the griffon he killed. Anon lets down his shirt when he finishes his story and takes a big swig of his bourbon.

Just as the tension in the room begins to thicken, the waiter walks back into the dining hall to take orders for the main course. As usual, the waiter starts with Princess Celestia. The waiter nods as he finishes writing down Princess Celestia's order. Soon, everyone's order has been taken, and the waiter returns to the kitchen. Then, he returns with another bottle of bourbon that Anon had requested.

The rest of the meal played out without any more emotional episodes. The princesses primarily talk about things going on in their lives and whatnot. Anon either listens to the princesses or Flash talks. In fact, for the rest of the meal, Anon doesn't say much.

Eventually, the meal ends with dessert, an angel food cake with strawberry frosting. The princesses talk some more until Luna decides to start her nightly duties. Anon takes this opportunity to leave as well. He bids everyone good night and leaves the dining hall with Flash Sentry in tow.

"Hey, Flash. I memorized the way back to my room, so you can go ahead and hit the sack if you want since it's almost nine," Anon says.

"Are you sure? I don't want you to get lost," Flash responds.

"I'm good."

Flash Sentry trots down the hallway as Anon slowly returns to his room.

Anon notices the Solar Guards have been replaced by their nightly counterparts. The Lunar Guard looks similar to the Solar Guard armor, minus the plumes being a completely different shape and the armor being dark blue. The only thing the same as the Solar Guards is their weapons.

Soon Anon comes across the hallway that leads to his room. There are no guards, which leaves Anon alone. Well, not entirely. As he walks down the hallway, the eerie feeling of being watched comes across him. The surface begins to creep Anon out. The empty hallway and the moon casting shadows don't make Anon feel any better. He even hears the fluttering of wings and a few whispers. Finally, he turns around and looks at the darkness behind him.

"I know you are following me!" he shouts.

"Damn it. I told you he'd hear you flying," A raspy female voice says.

"Oh, piss off. Like you could have been any quieter," a male voice responds.

"Both of you, shut up. The jig is up," another female voice says.

Out of the shadows, three thestrals walk towards Anon. At first, the only thing that Anon could see were glowing, yellow eyes with slit-like pupils. The armor of the thestral significantly differs from the rest of the Lunar Guard. It looks sleeker and more aerodynamic. Instead of a plume, there is a verticle crest that looks like the dorsal fin of a fish. They carry swords like the other guards but with a different hilt. All three thestrals have furry, pointed ears, much like a bat's. Their tails look rigid compared to other ponies. The thestrals have fleshy wings rather than feathers—the thestral looks like an officer because her helmet crest is pale blue rather than purple.

"You want to explain why you were following me?" Anon asks as he looks down at the approaching thestrals.

"Princess Luna assigned us to watch over you during the night," one of the pegasus thestrals announces.

"Uh-huh," Anon says. "And who are you exactly?"

One thestral steps forward. "I'm Captain Midnight Blossom of the Lunar Guard."

One of the thestrals, the mare with a raspy voice, steps to stand beside Blossom. "I am Sergeant Major Lavender Petal."

Lastly, the male thestrals stand on the other side of Blossom. "I am Sergeant Moon Shadow."

"Why did you need to be sneaky about watching over me?"

"We were loosely following you," Lavender replies.

"Seriously?"

The thestrals nod their heads.

"You do realize that following me like that is a bit strange? You could have told me you were assigned to be my night guards," Anon days.

"If that is something you prefer, Mr. Anonymous, then we will comply," Blossom replies.

"You don't have to do that bowing down shit. I'm no king, much less an officer. I'm just the new handyman."

"So we can forget being stealthy?" Moon Shadow asks.

Blossom nods her head. The thestrals sigh a sigh of relief.

"One more thing, don't call me Mr. Anonymous. Anonymous or Anon will do fine," Anon announces.

"Will do, Anon," Blossom says.

The thestrals follow Anon back to his room in silence. They only spoke when Lavender Petal noticed Anon's KA-BAR knife. Anon removes it from its leather sheath and shows the knife to them. They are interested in the knife. Moon Shadow practically drools all over the knife. Once they arrive at Anon's room, the thestrals stand at his door as he enters the room.

Anon closes his door and turns on the light. He gathers his sleeping shorts and underwear; then walks into the bathroom.

Anon takes a shower while contemplating today's events as he usually does. He reflects the most on his time with Captain Tempest Shadow. Anon can tell that Tempest's past trauma turned her into the bitter soldier she is today. If Anon is honest with himself, he doesn't blame Tempest for being hostile when he asks her about her past. After some self-evaluation, he concludes that painful memories surface and cause people to lash out to force the memories back into the deepest parts of their minds.

Soon, Anon ends his contemplation and turns off the hot water. He dries off his body and puts on the sleeping shorts. Anon turned off the overhead and wrote in his journal with only the lamplight to light up the journal. Anon writes until his eyelids grow heavy. He lays his journal and pencil on his nightstand. Within a few minutes, he falls asleep.

Author's Notes:

Hey, everyone. Sorry for the late release. I've been pretty busy this summer, but I managed to finish my first two-parter. In this chapter, Sarcastic Brony's OC Captain Midnight Blossom makes an appearance. FYI, I asked him if I could use her in my story, and he permitted me. And another FYI, I decided on a rank structure in the Equestrian Armed Forces. For future reference, it goes something like this. And they apply to the Solar, Lunar, and Royal Guards.
(12/25/21 Much like a couple of chapters ago, I changed the Royal Guard into a separate branch instead of a particular forces-like branch. I thought it would be better for the future of the story.)

(Enlisted Ranks)
Private
Corporal
Sergeant
Sergeant Major
(2/15/22, I removed the Staff Sergeant not overly to complicate ranking systems)

(Officers)
Second Lieutenant
First Lieutenant
Captain
Commander
Colonel
General
General of the Equestrian Armed Forces (has operational command over all three branches)

Anon in Canterlot Part 2

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Chapter 7

When Anon lived in Ponyville, he was usually awoken by the sunlight on his face. Today is different. Anon's eyes open as someone pounds on his door. He quickly sits up and jerks his head towards the door. Anon sits there for a moment before eventually getting up. He walks over to the door and opens it. Standing there is none other Corporal Flash Sentry.

"Why in the wide blue fuck are you pounding on my door this early morning?" Anon asks.

"Early in the morning? Anon, it's 10 am."

"10 am?! Oh, shit! What time was breakfast?!"

"The princesses typically eat around 8 am."

"Damn it. I've grown accustomed to waking up at six o'clock. It must have been my bed."

Flash shrugs.

"Let me get dressed, and I'll scrounge around for food in the kitchen," Anon announces.

"Scrounge? You can get room service," Flash replies.

"Why would I inconvenience people because of my lazy ass?"

Flash shrugs again.

"Wait here," Anon says.

Anon closed his door so that he could get dressed. Flash awkwardly stood outside Anon's room. Some off-duty Lunar Guards give Flash strange looks. He weakly smiles in return. About two minutes later, Anon opens the door dressed in his usual attire.

"Follow me," Anon says.

The two acquaintances make their way toward the dining hall. They walk in silence, but the silence is broken by Anon occasionally by Anon's yawning and mumbling curses about being tired. Eventually, they arrive at the Royal Dining Hall. Anon and Flash go through the doors that lead into the kitchen. Few cooks in the kitchen don't even notice the Royal Guard and his human companion. It is only when Anon loudly clears his throat to get the attention of the cooks that they catch him standing there. They stand there in shock because they've never seen a human before.

"Can...we help you?" one of the cooks asks.

"Do you have any breakfast leftover from this morning," Anon responds.

"N-no. The princesses typically make their breakfast."

"Well, shit. Is there any fruit around?"

One of the cooks, a green mare, pointed her hoof at a bowl sitting on a counter nearby. The contents of the bowl are an assortment of fruits. Anon takes a large green apple. Flash and Anon leave the kitchen, but as they go. Anon raises his apple to thank the cooks. They nervously nod in return.

"Breakfast of champions, wouldn't you say, Flashy-boy?" Anon chuckles as he takes a bite.

Flash looks up at Anon. "Flashy-boy?"

"Just a nickname."

"Okay, the apple by itself is not a champion's breakfast. A true champion would have a well-balanced breakfast. A single apple is more of a mid-morning snack."

"Something tells me you are a health nut."

Anon pushes open the dining hall doors and lets Flash walk through first. "I'm not a health nut. Just something we do as Royal Guards."

"Ese no es la impresión queue tengo." (That's not the impression I got.)

"What did you say?"

"Nothing. And by the way, the 'breakfast of champions' bit was sarcasm."

"Good to know. So that you know, Princess Celestia wants to meet with you in her study at 1:00 pm. You have some time to yourself."

"To myself? I find that statement hard to believe, considering I haven't been truly alone since I arrived in Canterlot, besides the time Captain Tempest left me in my room to when you escorted me to the dining hall."

"I didn't peg you to be such a loner."

"Not many people do."

Silence falls as they walk down the hall. Eventually, Flash decides to take Anon to the barracks. After walking down a series of stairs and endless hallways, they arrive at the castle's West Side.

Outside are several large, rectangular buildings, and a vast courtyard surrounds the barracks. Around the courtyard are ponies dressed in metal training gear and other groups in full Solar Guard battle armor swinging their swords in synchronized unison. One group is thrusting and swinging spears in the same manner. What catches Anon's attention is that the pegasi and earth ponies have their swords in their mouths. He stops and watches them for a moment. It didn't appear awkward or uncomfortable, either.

"How the hell do you fight with a sword in your mouth?" Anon asks.

"It just comes naturally to us. Most of our daily tasks require pegasi and earth ponies to use our mouths," Flash responds.

"Interesting. What about marching and fighting with a spear?"

"That was the difficult part. We have to march like we are walking with a cane. We put it underneath our wing when we pegasi fight with a spear. Earth ponies stand on their hind legs."

"Because of their magic being channeled into their strength in their legs."

"Right. For a non-pony, you seem to know a lot about ponies."

"I read a lot in my spare time."

"You remind me of Princess Twilight."

Anon is taken back. "In what way?"

"You read a lot. Honest. Uh-"

"Hate to tell you this, dude, but we have nothing in common."

They are silent until Anon turns around to walk back toward the castle. Flash doesn't notice Anon's departure until he spots him walking into the castle. Flash takes flight and flies toward the castle. He manages to get to the door before it closes. He catches up with Anon. Anon asks Flash if he knows where the library is located. Flash replies with a nod. Within a few minutes, they arrive at the castle's main library.

The library looks like a standard library. Rows upon rows of tall bookshelves line the room. Off the side of the entrance is a small rectangular desk with a small lamp. Behind the desk is an elderly unicorn mare. She is wearing glasses that a grandmother would wear. Close to the entrance are circular tables with several chairs around them. A large chandelier hangs from the ceiling. Large windows that face the east are in the very back. Anon notices that a few bookshelves don't have books but rather large scrolls stacked in a pyramid. All the scrolls look like they haven't been used in a few hundred years.

Anon walks over to the librarian, who reads a book enveloped in a grey aura. She looks up and smiles.

"Can I help you?" she asks sweetly. Her voice is very warm and welcoming.

"Yes. Do you have any books on the Equestrian Armed Forces?" Anon asks.

The librarian pauses to think. "I believe I do. Follow me."

Anon motions for Flash Sentry to wait; he follows the librarian a short distance to one of the bookshelves. She scans the titles of the books before using her magic to remove a book and hands it to Anon. He opens the book and flips through the pages.

"Is the book to your liking?" the librarian asks.

"It is Mrs..." Anon trails off, realizing he didn't know the librarian's name.

"Ms. Bookend."

"Okay, thank you, Ms. Bookend. This book is what I was looking for. I'm Anonymous, by the way."

"A pleasure."

Anon nods and walks over to a table where Flash is sitting. Anon sits next to Flash, opens the book, and starts reading. Occasionally, Anon will make a noise to show interest or grunt. Flash sits in silence as Anon reads. Very quickly, Flash becomes bored. He pulls his sword and lays it on the table, even though it is against EAF regulations to draw one's sword in a public place without a viable threat. The sword makes a clanging sound as it makes contact with the table. Flash begins to inspect it for any wear and tear. He picks up his sword to put it back in its sheath when nothing is found.

"May I see your sword?" Anon asks suddenly.

Flash looks at Anon. He nods and sets his sword back on the table. Anon picks up the sword and begins examining the sword. To Flash, it seems small in the human's hands.

"How long is this thing?" Anon asks.

"About 16 inches," Flash replies.

"This sword looks like a sword from my world. This one is smaller, though."

"How big is your world's version of the sword?"

"The xiphos, including the hilt, was 18 to 30 inches long." Anon hands the sword back to Flash. "However, our militaries don't use swords anymore. Nowadays, they are for show or ceremonies."

"What do you fight with?".

"We fight with guns. A gun is a weapon that has a metal tube from which tiny projectiles called bullets are fired. They make a loud, cracking sound when fired."

"It sounds complicated."

"To ponies, I guess it would."

Anon continues reading his book. Flash eventually gets bored and goes to the librarian to get a book. The two read for a while until the clock shows 12:30 pm. Anon checks out the book and follows Flash Sentry out of the library.

Flash leads Anon to the West Wing of the Canterlot Castle. When they approach the door to Princess Celestia's Royal Study, Anon notices two Royal Guards standing on either side of the door. They narrow their eyes as they look at Anon but relax when they see Flash.

"Corporal Sentry, what is that thing," one of the guards asks, pointing his spear at Anon.

"This is Anonymous, Sergeant. He has a meeting with Princess Celestia at one o'clock," Flash replies.

"Okay, I'll let the princess know," the other guard says.

The guard opens the door with his mouth and pokes his head into the study. He says that Flash and a "tall, green monkey" a there to see her. After a few seconds, the guard beckons Anon and Flash to enter the study.

Princess Celestia's office looks much like a small library. Bookshelves line the walls. A large window is next to her desk, and a fireplace is in the corner. A large armchair sits in front of Celestia's desk. The princess is sitting behind her desk, her horn glowing with its majestic yellow aura. She looks up and smiles as Anon and Flash Sentry enter the study. Flash snaps to attention and salutes her.

"I brought Anonymous as requested," Flash says.

"I appreciate it, Corporal Sentry; thank you. You may leave us. I need to speak to Anonymous privately."

Flash Sentry pauses. Why on earth would Princess Celestia need to speak to Anon alone? Is there something going on that he didn't know about? Flash pushes those thoughts out of his head. He wasn't trained to question orders; he was trained to follow them. He salutes and leaves the study while closing the door behind them.

"Well, Anon. Did you sleep well last night?" Celestia asks.

"A little too well." Anon rubs the back of his neck.

"I can tell," Celestia chuckles and smiles teasingly.

"Let me guess how you knew. I didn't show up to breakfast at eight."

"Perhaps." Princess Celestia still has her teasing smile on her face. "Okay, enough with the teasing. I wanted you to come here to give you a gift."

Anon is intrigued.

Princess Celestia uses magic to pick up a black leather tool belt and hands it to Anon. The belt has all the tools he'd need for his handyman job—a hammer, nails, screwdrivers, pliers, etc. Anon smiles and puts it around his waist. The belt fits him perfectly.

"How'd you know my waist...? Wait a second. You asked Rarity, didn't you?"

"Yes, I did. I gave it to a leatherworker here in Canterlot so he could custom fit it for you."

"Thanks, Tia. It's perfect."

"You're welcome. In regards to your job, your first project will be tomorrow at Fancy Pants' house and-"

"Hold up. You said I'd be working AT the castle, not anywhere else."

"I know, but the letter I sent mentions the change."

"I never got a letter. I bet that cross-eyed, wackjob of a mail pony forgot where the fuck I lived."

"There's not a problem with the change, is there?"

"Not at all; I wish I had known about it sooner."

"As do I. Anyway, you will have an armed escort tomorrow. Captain Tempest will be your escort."

"There's a problem with that. Isn't escort duty a little below her pay grade? I can understand the first time you sent her to escort me. This time around, escort duty is more of Flash's area. And look, I know you are pairing her up with me because she acts like I did when I first arrived in Equestria. You want her to learn how I went from a self-isolated asshole to everyone's favorite human."

Princess Celestia is astonished. "How did you know that?"

"I'm not stupid, Tia. It was pretty fucking easy to figure out after observing Tempest a bit."

"Well, I'm still assigning Captain Tempest to be your escort. She and Corporal Sentry will alternate every two days."

"Fair enough. So, what time do I need to be at this Fancy Pants' house?"

"10 o'clock. You'll have plenty of time to eat breakfast and go to his house."

"Sounds good. Thanks again for the belt."

"Your welcome, Anon. I'll see you at supper."

The following day, Anon wakes up to the sound of his new alarm ringing, which rattles when it goes off. Anon sits up quickly and throws the clock against the wall. The watch breaks apart into several pieces.

"Shit. That was a waste of 15 bits," Anon grumbles.

Anon throws off his sheets and slowly gets out of bed. He groggily gets dressed. He stops every once in a while to yawn or rub his eyes. Soon, Anon is dressed and makes his way toward the Royal Dining Hall.

He waves at passing off-duty Lunar Guards; some are too tired to notice him. Captain Blossom briefly passes by and chats with Anon before returning to her room.

Eventually, Anon arrives at the dining hall. He eats with the princesses, including Cadence. When Anon finishes eating, he talks with the princesses while waiting for Captain Tempest to arrive. Finally, Tempest arrives at the dining hall. Anon can see that she isn't happy. It probably has something to do with her being put on guard duty. Tempest salutes the princesses and motions for Anon to follow her.

"Are you okay?" Anon asks they leave the castle.

"No, I'm not," she responds gruffly. "I am a Captain in the Royal Guard, for Tartarus's sake, and I get stuck with escort duty. I've got more important things to do than this."

"If it's any consolation, I tried to talk Princess Celestia into putting Flash Sentry in your place, but she wouldn't budge."

"Not in the slightest."

"Trying to help you out, Captain."

"Help by shutting up and making this day as painless as possible."

Anon remains quiet for the remainder of the trip to Fancy Pants' house. When they arrive at his house, both Anon and Tempest aren't surprised at the size of the white marble, castle-like mansion due to knowing about Fancy Pants' profession as an investor. A sprawling lawn and hedges surround the house. A large black metal fence borders the yard.

They walk over to a gate, where a servant lets them through after Tempest states their business. Anon knocks on the house door, and Tempest waits a few moments. A unicorn stallion opens the door with his magic.

The stallion's body is caramel-colored, while his mane and tail are dark brown. The stallion is wearing a suit and a blue bow tie.

"Good day, sir and madame. How may I help you?" the stallion asks.

"Good morning. I am Anonymous, and this is Captain Tempest Shadow of the Royal Guard. Fancy Pants hired me via Princess Celestia for a job. Captain Tempest is my escort."

"Oh, yes. Follow me. Master Pants is out in the gardens. I'm Butter Scotch, Master Pants' butler."

"A pleasure."

Anon and Tempest follow Butter Scotch through the mansion. The villa's interior reminds Anon of Filthy Rich's estate back in Ponyville, except most of the stuff inside this mansion looks more expensive. The amount of servants around also proves that point, as well. Last Anon checked, Filthy Rich only had one butler. Tempest, however, is not impressed at all. She has lived at the Canterlot Castle for over a year, which outshined this mansion.

Eventually, the trio arrives at the gardens at the back of the mansion. It looks like the front yard, except for a large fountain at the center and a giant white marble horse statue at the back. A large pool sits on one end of the garden, and a croquet course on the other. Around the park are groves of oak trees, shrubbery, and other flora. Then, a well-dressed unicorn stallion wearing a monocle approaches them.

"You must be Anonymous," the stallion says.

"That's me. And you're Fancy Pants?" Anon responds.

"In the flesh. And who is this?" Fancy Pants gestures toward Tempest.

"This is Captain Tempest Shadow of the Royal Guard. She's assigned to be my escort."

"It's an honor, Captain." Fancy Pants gives a slight bow towards Tempest. Tempest is surprised, but she doesn't show it.

"What job do you need me to do?" Anon asks.

"Oh, yes. My wife's flower boxes need mending. They are old and are lacking paint."

"Okay. Can you show me where the boxes are?"

"Sure."

Fancy Pants dismisses his butler and leads Anon and Tempest to one of the groves of oak trees. Underneath them are five dilapidated boxes. As Fancy Pants had mentioned, they didn't have paint on them. The wood itself looked molded and rotten.

"To be honest with you, Mr. Fancy Pants. These boxes are too old and rotten to be repaired. I will have to build you some new ones," Anon announces.

"I was afraid you'd say that. Just in case, I bought supplies so you can build some new ones. I had measured the old planks and had the new ones cut to save you the trouble."

Anon is surprised. "Thanks. You just cut the time it would have taken to build the boxes in half or even more."

"No problem, Mr. Anonymous. Besides, I don't mind getting my hooves dirty every time. The materials are in the shed over there."

Fancy Pants points to a small shed that sits about 500 feet away in the very back corner, out of the way and out of sight.

"Thank you. I appreciate it," Anon, thanks.

"The pleasure is all mine. Can I get you any drinks?" Fancy Pants says.

"Do you have any bourbon?"

"Of course."

"I'll take that. What about you, Captain?"

"Water will do fine," Tempest says flatly.

"Okay. I'll be back with those drinks."

As Fancy Pants walks away, Anon and Tempest walk to the shed. Anon carries as many wood planks as possible in his arms while Tempest uses her magic to bring the rest of the supplies. By the time they return to the grove of trees, Fancy Pants is back with the drinks. Anon takes a couple of sips before beginning his work.

Within two hours, he finishes building all of the flower boxes. He decides to take an extended break before painting the boxes. He pours another glass of bourbon and walks around the garden. Tempest begrudgingly follows him. After looking at the flora in the garden, Anon decides to let Fancy Pants know of the progress that has been made. He hears voices coming from the croquet course. As Anon and Tempest get closer, they notice that well-dressed unicorns, Fancy Pants, and a younger unicorn mare occupy the course. They are playing croquet but stop playing when Anon approaches.

"Fancy Pants? What is that thing?" one of the stallions gasps.

"This is Anonymous. He is a handy pony I hired to build Fleur-de-lis some new flower boxes," he responds. "Did you need something, Anonymous?"

"I finished building the flower boxes, and I need to ask your wife how she wants them painted."

"Fantastic." Fancy Pants turns to the younger mare. "Do you mind going with him? I'll come with you if you want me to."

"I don't mind going alone. He seems harmless," she responds.

Anon's eyes widen. "She's your wife? I thought she was your daughter."

"Of course, she is his wife, you ignorant dolt," one of the mares snaps.

"Don't be condescending, Swan Song. He just met us today. Besides, I'd show him some respect. He is a friend of the princesses," Fancy Pants says.

"How did the princesses befriend such an ugly beast?" one of the other stallions asks.

"He's not a beast or an 'ignorant dolt,' you dickheads," Tempest snarls. "Anonymous is very kind and intelligent. The fact that the princesses befriended him shows he is friendly and trustworthy. The princesses are only nice to you assholes because they have a moral obligation. Talk down to Anon again, and I will not hesitate to put your asses in the dirt. If you will excuse us, I will escort Anonymous and Fleur-de-lis to the new flower boxes so she can properly assess the paint job."

Tempest turns around and begins walking toward the grove of trees. Anon and Fluer follow her, but Anon hesitates due to shock and slight confusion. Two hours ago, Tempest acted like she didn't want to be associated with him. Now, she stuck up for him. The high-class ponies, excluding Fancy Pants, are angry that a former traitor turned Captain had talked to them like that. Calling them lewd nicknames only adds fuel to their proverbial flame. Fancy Pants wasn't surprised at all. It wasn't the first time he'd seen or heard of soldiers of the EAF set the members of Canterlot's elite in their place. 99.99% of the time, they deserved to be taken down a notch.

For the rest of the job, Tempest remained quiet while Anon worked. He, too, remains calm, aside from talking to Fleur initially. Apart from that, Anon didn't say a word.

At around three in the afternoon, Anon finishes painting the flower boxes. He and Tempest carry them to where Fleur wants them. Fancy Pants pays Anon sixty bits for his work. Fancy Pants thanks his new friend for his work. Then, Tempest and Anon begin their way back to the castle.

For the most part, they walk in silence. When they near the castle grounds, Anon speaks up.

"Hey, thanks for sticking up for me back there," he says.

"Don't mention it," Tempest replies flatly.

"Did you mean those things you said, or were you talking out of your ass?"

"Some parts I meant."

"Either way, allow me to buy a drink after you get off duty."

"For what?"

"As an expression of my gratitude. We could go to a place called Flasks and Mugs, owned by a cousin of a friend of mine."

"Oh, I've been there a couple of times. I'm not much of a pony person, but I'll humor you for the sake of a drink. After today, I could use one."

"Amen to that. What time do you want to meet at the bar?"

"Solar and Lunar Guard transitions are at six, so I'll meet you at 6:15."

"Sounds like a plan."

It's 6:20 at night, and Anon is running late. He had taken a nap, and thanks to not having a clock, he had woken up late. He asked for directions to the bar from a passing off-duty Solar Guard. Now, Anon is sprinting down the street towards Flasks and Mugs. Eventually, he arrives at the bar.

The bar looks very similar to Hard Cider's Watering Hole, minus the multitude of windows and the noise. Anon pushes open the doors and gets an exciting sight. The bar is full of off-duty soldiers. Anon stands there for a minute to see if he can find where Tempest is sitting. After a couple of seconds, he spots her sitting at the bar. He walks to the bar and sits on a bar stool next to her.

"You're late, Anon," Tempest says bluntly.

"Glad you noticed, Captain Obvious," Anon replies.

Anon waves his hand to get the bartender's attention. The bartender, a brown pegasus that looked to be in his thirties, sees the green-skinned human and walks over to him.

"What can I get you?" he asks. The bartender has a smooth, Boston-like accent.

"Bourbon on the rocks for me, and I'll let my friend here tell you what she wants, and I'll pay for it. Open me up a tab while you're at it."

The bartender nods to acknowledge Anon's request and then looks at Tempest.

"I'll take a mug of light beer," Tempest announces.

"One bourbon on the rocks and one light beer coming up," the bartender says.

The bartender turns around to fix the drinks. Anon is impressed by how the bartender can fix the drinks with his mouth. Of course, the bartender avoids putting his mouth where Anon and Tempest would put their lips. He puts the glasses on a tray and carries the tray to his awaiting patrons. Anon and Tempest take their drinks and thank the bartender.

"You must be Anonymous," the bartender says nonchalantly.

"That's me, but most ponies call me Anon. And you are?"

"Smooth Bourbon. I'm Hard Cider's cousin."

"Oh, yeah. Hard Cider told me about you and your bar. How'd you know who I was?"

"Hard Cider sent me a letter telling me you would stop by, and he described you well."

"That a fact? I must say, you are doing pretty good for yourself." Anon motions at the bar.

"You could say that. You open a bar close to the castle and announce an EAF discount; alcohol-craving troops will come running. I make at most 5,000 bits a week."

"Holy shit, man."

"For five months in a row, Flasks and Mugs were voted the #1 bar in Canterlot by its patrons," Tempest adds.

"Not bad for an Appleoosa-born colt," Smooth Bourbon says, running his hoof through this slicked-back mane.

"Don't you run this place with your wife?" Anon asks after finishing his glass of bourbon.

"Yes, I do. Sweet Mimosa is in Baltimare visiting her sister, but you'll see her here next week." Smooth Bourbon pours Anon another glass of his drink.

Then, a Solar Guard sits down next to Anon. He uses his hooves to remove his white-crested helmet and sets it on the seat next to him. The stallion has a highly curly, orange-red mane, tail, and green body. When he grins, Anon sees a golden tooth.

"Ay there, Bourbon. A mug of lager for me," the stallion says in a strong Irish accent.

"Sure, thing," Smooth Bourbon turns around to grab a large wooden mug. "Oh, Anon. This is Sergeant Major Lucky Charms of the Solar Guard. Sergeant Charms, this is Anonymous."

Anon sticks out his hand and shakes Lucky Charm's hoof. "It's nice to meet you."

"Charmed." the Irish stallion replies. "If you don't mind me askin', what in fuck are you. You're too hairless and green to be a monkey."

"I'm what you call a human. We come from a different dimension," Anon explains.

"Interestin'." Lucky Charms picks up his mug and takes a long drink.

"Where are you from?" Anon asks.

"I'm from a city up north called Hooflin. Me family has lived there for generations. 'Bout you?"

"I'm from a city named Longview. When I arrived here in Equestria, I lived in Ponyville for a few months."

"That town in the fuckin' sticks?"

"Watch it, Sergeant Major. That's my hometown," Tempest says.

"My point still stands, Captain." Lucky Charms takes another swig. "So, what brings you to Canterlot, Anonymous?"

"Princess Celestia hired me to work as a handyman at the castle, but I hire out for other people in Canterlot," Anon replies.

"Hired by the princess, eh? I'm surprised you were able to pull that off. No offense, mate."

"None taken. Princess Celestia is a friend and saw my handiwork in Ponyville, so things fell into place. She lets me stay at the castle, too."

"Lucky bastard. The guard barracks aren't exactly the nicest places to sleep in Canterlot. Some of those fuckers don't know how to sleep."

"Sounds like a fucking summer camp to me."

"Exactly." Lucky Charms takes another long drink of his beer. "We need a drinkin' song goin'."

Smooth Bourbon looks over at the green stallion. "On a Tuesday night? Isn't that like a Friday night thing?"

"Who fucking cares. I'm in the mood. Not THAT mood, though. Bring me a mare I can bed, and we'll talk. Now, what to sing?"

Lucky Charms sets his head in his hooves and begins to think. He goes through the songs that he learned over the years. Some were too slow, and some ponies didn't know the words. Finally, he finds one that almost everyone in the bar knows. His father taught him one on their first night drinking at a Hooflin pub. He picks up his mug, chugs the remaining liquid, and slams the mug down on the bar.

He takes a deep breath and begins to sing.

"In the merry month of June from me home, I started. Left the girls at home nearly broken-hearted. Saluted Father dear, kissed me, darling mother. Drank a pint of beer, me grief and tears to smothering. Then, off to reap the corn, leave where I was born. Cut a stout blackthorn to banish ghosts and griffins. A brand new pair of pants, rattlin' o'er the bogs. Frightenin' all the dogs on the rocky road to Hooflin. 1,2,3,4,5."

(Link to lyrics. The High Kings – Rocky Road To Dublin Lyrics | Genius Lyrics)

By this time, almost everypony in the bar had begun to sing along. Even Smooth Bourbon is singing along. Anon feels compelled to sing along. Back home, his friend Silas Ray is Irish, and he taught him that song. Anon has a "fuck it" moment and sings with every pony else. Tempest remains quiet and drinks her beer silently, but she listens to the soldiers, and Anon sing.

Eventually, the song ended with a roar of laughter.

Lucky Charms raises his refilled mug and yells, "Cheers, ya fuckers!!"

"Right back at you!" a Royal Guard stallion shouts from behind.

"We love you, Sergeant Charms!" a Solar Guard mare calls out from a table nearby.

"Haha. I love these drunken bastards," Lucky Charms chuckles.

"We know you do," Smooth Bourbon says.

Flasks and Mugs are filled with drinking and singing for three hours. Of course, Lucky Charms leads the half-drunken and drunken soldiers in the singing. He even stands up at the bar a couple of times. Along with that, the alcohol keeps on flowing. Even Tempest, who isn't a heavy drinker, drinks more than she intended. It turns out that Anon is more coherent than everypony else. Eventually, Anon closes his tab and pays it. Tempest stumbles after Anon and out of the bar. When they arrive at the castle, they part ways for the night.

Anon walks back to his bedroom. The Lunar Guards stood guarding Anon's first night in Canterlot beside his door. They open his doors and let him into his room. The dark, empty room envelopes Anon as he closes the door. However, Anon walks into something. He backs up and tries to look at what he walked into. The figure spreads its enormous wings, and its eyes glow in the dark. However, Anon already knows who it is.

"Luna, what in holy hell are you doing?" Anon asks, unamused.

The lunar princess uses her magic to turn on the lights. "I'm surprised that you weren't startled."

"Don't be obvious when you are trying to scare me. It usually works when you do it discreetly."

Luna pauses for a moment. "Huh. Thank you for useful advice, friend Anonymous."

"Holy shit. I've just created a monster. Why can't I keep my mouth shut?" Anon mumbles.

"See you in the morning, Anonymous," Luna says. In a light blue flash, the moon demigoddess disappears.

Anon shakes his head and goes to take a shower. As usual, Anon soaks in hot water and thinks about his day. What he thinks about the most is Tempest sticking up for him. Since arriving in Equestria, no one, not even Tia, has stuck him like that. His being an asshole at the beginning of his stay had something to do with it, though. Tempest seems like a cool mare. Maybe Tia had the right idea to put her as his bodyguard. Perhaps he made a new friend. Shit, he made a few new friends: Fancy Pants, Smooth Bourbon, and Lucky Charms. The grumpy asshole that landed in Sweet Apple Acres all those months ago had no one. No friends and no home. The only thing he had was his clothes on his back, his backpack, and his wits. Today, he had many friends and lives in a capital city castle. Never in a million years would Anon have imagined that he would be in this situation.

Anon stops contemplating and cleans himself up. He finishes his shower and pulls back the curtain. Then, he gets an unpleasant surprise.

"Hello, friend Anonymous," Luna says slyly.

Anon freezes in shock as he locks eyes with her. For some reason, Luna's gaze goes to Anon's member. It isn't as big as she imagined, but applying pony anatomy to humans isn't a good idea. Luna didn't know why she looked down at his crotch. Perhaps it was her curiosity to see human anatomy, but that wasn't the point of her standing in the bathroom. She is there to startle Anon. Just as quickly as she looks down, Luna looks up and locks eyes with Anon again. Her dark blue cheeks blush with embarrassment. Anon glares at Luna.

"What. The. Fuck. What are you doing in here?" Anon growls as he grabs a towel to cover himself.

"I...took your advice?"

"Obviously. How'd you get in here?"

"I teleported back into your room, and you left the bathroom door open. It was pretty easy."

"You can't walk in here while I'm fucking naked. It's called privacy, Luna. And gazing at my dick is not something you do."

"I apologize, friend Anonymous. I must've forgotten your species' customs."

Anon relaxes his gaze. "It's okay, but when you're are doing your startling prank, which is fine by me, don't invade my privacy, especially when I'm naked. Now, if we were done messing around, if you catch my drift, it wouldn't be a problem if you saw me naked or took a gander at my dick."

"I see. I promise I will no longer invade your privacy, and your...appendage will not be stared at."

"I hope so."

Luna teleports in a flash of blue light. Anon rolls his eyes and puts on his underwear and shorts. He writes in his journal about his day at his desk. The entry is longer than usual, but it helps Anon grow tired. His eyelids grow heavy, and his ability to spell even simple words begins to fail. Once he is finished with his journal entry, Anon goes to bed. Within a few minutes, Anon falls asleep.

Anon and the Holidays

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Chapter 8

Snow gently falls over the mountainside city of Canterlot. The ponies go from shop to shop buying Hearth's Warming gifts. Carolers sing on what seems like every block in Canterlot. Some ponies attach the finishing touches to their holiday decorations on their houses, shops, and whatnot. With Hearth's Warming only a week away, the cheer that the holiday brings every year is at its peak. Everypony is feeling the effects. Everypony except Anon. If he hadn't had the holiday ruined for him as a child by his parent's favoritism, he would have had the same excitement. His parents bought his little brother some of the most expensive gifts. Most of them were over fifty dollars. As for Anon, he would get a little less than thirty dollars worth of stocking stuffers. His parents even prevented him from celebrating with his friends.

Today, Anon is tasked with supervising the setting up of the Canterlot Castle Hearth's Warming Tree. The cold weather and the overly cheery ponies don't make his job any easier.

The tree is a sixty-foot fur tree with the usual ornaments and lights. It's set up in front of the gates of the castle. Every year, a week before Hearth's Warming, there is a festival of the tree's lighting. Princess Celestia has the honor of giving a short speech and lighting the tree every year. She gives the speech on top of a small platform, which Anon and the ponies had put together the day before. Up to and after the lighting of the tree, there are games, cookies, hot cocoa, caroling, etc. The Canterlot elite, aside from Fancy Pants and a few others, seldom go to the event because they don't like being around the low- and middle-class ponies.

Seven workers, including Anon, toil around the tree, putting on ornaments. Two pegasi and two unicorns use their abilities to put decorations in hard-to-reach places. Two earth ponies put on ornaments within their reach. Like he had been tasked, Anon supervises the project.

Anon, for the most part, remains warm. Princesses Celestia and Luna had some winter clothes custom-made for him. The only thing that remains cold is his face, feet, and hands. What surprises him is Flash Sentry isn't even wearing a lot of winter gear underneath his armor. He is only wearing a blue and gold scarf. Flash stands there as if it were summertime.

"Flash, it amazes me that you can stand in this weather and not freeze your ass off," Anon says flatly.

"I have a fur coat, dude; you don't," Flash replies.

"But still. It's twenty-something degrees out here. I'm only warm because I wear three or four layers of clothes."

"I don't know what to tell you."

Anon grunts as he continues to monitor the ponies setting up the tree. Putting on the ornaments goes off without a hitch. The lights do not. The lights had to be wrapped around the tree a certain way. Anon tries showing them how to do it, but Anon finds the task more difficult than he thought. Eventually, with the help of Flash Sentry, the ponies get the first set of lights up. The second set of lights didn't take as long to set up and with less difficulty. With the tree finally set up. Anon dismisses the six ponies; he looks at his clipboard for his next assignment.

"Son of a bitch," Anon grumbles.

Flash looks up at Anon. "What's wrong?"

"We've got to go to the train station to pick up a package."

"Why would there be a package there?"

"No fucking clue, but since I'm on the clock, I'm not going to bitch about it."

Anon and Flash trudge their way through the snow toward the train station. The sidewalks and streets are primarily snow-covered, so they don't tire themselves completely. Although Anon's socks were wet from the deep snow, he walked in.

Soon, the pair arrive at the train station. When they get there, the platform is empty. Flash becomes suspicious and walks away to look around. Anon rechecks his clipboard to ensure he didn't misread his instructions. This time, he notices the word "package" is surrounded by quotation marks. Anon guesses that he isn't looking for a literal package. The only thing now is to assume what the "package" is. Considering Princess Celestia's vast wealth and power, it could be anything. Anything could be as random as the things that Pinkie Pie pulls out of her mane.

Just as Anon thinks of the hyperactive mare, a high-pitched squeal pierces the air. Anon barely has enough time to process what is happening before being tackled to the ground. The force knocks the wind out of Anon. He lands on his back and in the snow. He can only see a pink blob kissing every inch of his face. Anon's vision refocuses, seeing Pinkie kissing his face and awkwardly straddling him.

"Anon, Anon, Anon, Anon! It's good to see you!" Pinkie Pie says quickly.

"Pinkie, get off of me," Anon grunts.

"Okay!" Pinkie replied cheerfully.

She gets off of Anon before giving him one last kiss on the lips. Anon's temper flares like a raging fire. He stands up, knocks off the snow on his clothes, and scowls at Pinkie.

"What the fucking hell is wrong with you?! You don't just kiss people on the lips without asking first! That goes for tackling me, as well! Where I come from, that can be considered assault!" Anon shouts. "Holy fuck! I took you to be smarter than that!"

Pinkie's enormous smile collapses into a frown. Anon immediately knows he's screwed up. Chewing out Twilight for being nosy is one thing, but chewing out Pinkie Pie is a different ballgame. There was only one other time he yelled at Pinkie. It was when she threw him a "Welcome to Ponyville" party two days after he arrived at Twilight Sparkle's castle. Pinkie accidentally shot Anon with the party cannon, believing it was on purpose. He berated Pinkie for shooting him with confetti. A few insults were hurled that didn't need to be said. This resulted in Pinkie weeping and flooding the spot where she sat. Anon felt terrible, but it didn't help when everypony glared at him with death in their eyes. Twilight used magic to drag Anon outside her castle and chew him out. Both parties hurled insults at each other, and one returned to his makeshift campsite.

Anon shakes his head in embarrassment. His embarrassment grows even more when an invisibility spell disappears, revealing the rest of the Mane 6, Spike, and Starlight.

"Pinkie. I'm sorry I yelled at you, but my point still stands. I wouldn't have minded a hug, but tackling me and kissing me on the lips out of the blue is not appreciated. A peck on the cheek or the forehead is something I wouldn't mind, but on the lips is out of bounds," Anon says. "But I am happy to see you."

"You mean it?" Pinkie asks as she wipes her eyes.

Anon nods.

"I'm sorry for tackling and kissing you on the lips. Forgive me?"

"Yes, Pinkie."

Pinkie's wide grin reappears, and she wraps Anon in a warm hug. Although uncomfortable and denied a full breath, Anon lets Pinkie hug him. Eventually, she released Anon. He tried smiling, but it came off as a nervous grimace. The rest of the group isn't amused.

"So...hi, I guess," Anon says nervously.

"You're pathetic, Anon," Twilight states. "Yelling at Pinkie like that and acting as if nothing happened."

"Hey, at least I apologized to her, unlike last time," Anon says, raising his hands defensively.

"Fair point, but that doesn't change the fact that you were rude."

Anon snorts. Then, he hears the rapid clipping of hooves from behind him. He turns around and sees Flash Sentry running towards him.

"Anon! What's going on?" he shouts.

"What are you talking about?"

"I was looking around for suspicious activity when I heard yelling."

"Well, there's no trouble here, but A+ for effort."

Flash Sentry rolls his eyes, but he freezes as he notices Twilight. He snaps to attention and salutes her. Twilight blushes in a way that catches Anon's attention. The blush is a girlish one. One that he's seen in many teenage girls. Anon shakes his head.

"Hold on a second. Flash, are you with her? Like WITH HER with her?" Anon asks, almost sounding disappointed. Twilight blushes even harder.

Flash sets down his hoof. "No, we are not."

Anon notices Twilight's girlish blush has disappeared, and her face droops slightly. It's the look of disappointment. Being the person he is, Anon decides to have a little fun with this.

"Well, that's a good thing. You can do much better than a princess who is the ruler of a state between two people. The green-maned mare in your regiment is a good pick."

Starlight and Spike stifle a laugh while Rainbow Dash loses it. She rolls on the ground, cackling like a witch. Twilight narrows her eyes at Anon, but he doesn't feel threatened. A cocky grin appears on his face.

"C'mon, Twilight. I'm yanking your chain. Lighten up, will you?" Anon says.

"It wasn't funny, Anon," Twilight grumbles.

"Your compatriots did. The only reason why you got pissed is that you know I'm right."

Twilight rolls her eyes. "Nice to know you haven't changed."

Anon doesn't respond. He looks down at his clipboard and glances at the next set of instructions. In parentheses, underneath the location of the "package" is the education to bring said package to the throne room. Anon informs the group that they need to report to the throne room and motions for them to follow him. The group makes their way through the streets of Canterlot, but Anon doesn't speak. His mind is on the rest of the jobs on his list. After taking the Mane 6, Starlight, and Spike to the throne room, he has to help the owner of a candy shop string up lights around her business, shovel three different sidewalks, and do some other jobs around the castle. It is already one o'clock in the afternoon, and Anon doesn't work past five o'clock in the evening. Anon knows that he won't finish his list before then. When he doesn't spend a job, it rolls over to the next day's list of jobs.

Anon curses under his breath in Spanish. He tells the small group of ponies to walk faster because of his extensive list. For the most part, the ponies in tow understand his predicament. Rarity, on the other hand, is not. She complains that sweating makes her coat and hat "smelly and icky." Anon replies that there wouldn't be a problem if she weren't dressed like a Russian millionaire on a ski vacation in the Swiss Alps. Of course, nopony understood the insult, but it amused Anon because he thought it was somewhat clever.

Eventually, the small group reaches the castle grounds. They enter the castle after passing through bag checks and a new security measure. Many of the guards greet Anon in some form or fashion. It was primarily verbal greetings or a simple head nod. Anon returns the acknowledgment. Twilight isn't surprised that Anon has built a relationship with the guards, considering his former dream to be a soldier. She also takes into consideration his deep respect for them. Twilight remembers that Anon had told her that just joining was a sacrifice and death was the ultimate sacrifice.

Finally, the small group arrives at the throne room's front doors. The two Royal Guards at the door salute Twilight and open the doors. Princesses Celestia and Luna stand up from their thrones as the group approaches. The four Royal Guards stand at the platform's base, where the princesses' thrones sit, saluting Twilight: the Mane 6, Starlight, and Spike bow before the celestial demi goddesses. Flash merely stands at attention and salutes—Princess Celestia motions for her guards to remain at ease and for the small group to stand up. Celestia smiles at Anon.

"I see you found the package," Celestia says.

"You could've been more specific because I was about to spend valuable time looking for a box," Anon replies.

"I'll remember that in the future. It is a little gift from Luna and me. They'll be staying through Hearth's Warming."

"Really? That's great. Now, excuse me; I need to return to work."

Anon does a sloppy about-face.

"I might have fabricated the remaining jobs on your list. You have the rest of the day off until after Hearth's Warming. Just a little reward for your hard work around Canterlot and the castle."

"Oh fuck, yes. Thanks, Ti- I mean...Celestia," Anon says. "Well, I'm going to my room until six, then I'll go out drinking. I might come back drunk. I don't fucking know. Spike, please stop by my room before I leave if you'd like. Peace out!"

Anon turns around and throws up the peace sign. Then, Princess Celestia calls out his name again. He turns around again but with an annoyed expression on his face.

"I would appreciate it if you join us for dinner and the tree lighting this evening," Celestia announces.

"Seriously? I want some time to do something I'd like to do for once. Besides, I haven't had a decent drink in days," Anon complains.

Celestia's voice changes from friendly to formal. "Anonymous, that wasn't a request."

Anon shakes his head in disgust. He announces that he'll be in his room and return for dinner. He leaves the room, cursing under his breath.

"I thought he was becoming more social. When has he been relapsing?" Twilight says.

"I don't think he's relapsing; something is bothering him. From my observations, he goes off to be alone when something troubles him," Princess Luna announces.

"Do you know what's bothering him?" Spike asks.

"I don't. Do you, Sister?"

"Unfortunately not. Despite being more open than he was when he first arrived. Anon won't tell me about all his problems. He claims that some problems are his to bear and not anypony else's burden. That said, I believe that what is bothering Anon is related to Hearth's Warming."

"What about Hearth's Warmin' that is so bad that it bothers him?" Applejack asks.

"Maybe we can ask him to see what's going on. It could be something we could help him with," Fluttershy suggests.

"I agree that it's our responsibility as friends to help Anon; however, if he refuses to talk about what's going on with him, we shouldn't push the issue. As you may remember, the more he was denied personal space, the more hostile he became," Princess Celestia announces.

"Yep, I sure do," Twilight mumbles.

Anon's eyes flutter open as his new alarm starts to beep. He sits up and looks at the time. It's 5:15, forty-five minutes before dinner. Anon had decided to nap before dinner because he was tired from work. He believed it was a well-earned and deserved nap.

He stands up and stretches. Anon decides to take a quick shower before dinner. He was "voluntold" to attend. He doesn't contemplate his day since he doesn't have much time. After his shower, Anon puts on a clean set of clothes and walks toward the Royal Dining Hall.

The halls are dark and quiet. The ambient light from the moon and candles cast faint shadows on the walls. Anon notices that the Solar Guards are no longer on duty. Lunar Guards stand at their posts.

While Anon was in Canterlot, the princesses and the Generals of the Equestrian Armed Forces made many changes to the Equestrian Armed Forces. The guards change shifts before sundown instead of at sunset at 5:30 in the evening.

Anon barely knows any Lunar Guards because they are asleep during the day. However, he knew a decent amount of the officers. He met one of the generals when rebuilding some armor racks in the armory. General Evening Star is a thestral who is the number one general in the Lunar Guard. He was often referred to as Luna's Right Hoof.

Anon arrives at the Royal Dining Hall. The two Lunar Guards that are standing at the doors open them. Anon gives the guards a respectful nod before entering the room. As he enters, he notices that every pony surrounding the table is one of his friends. Well, most of them. Anon doesn't consider some of the Mane 6 as friends; they are relatively nothing more than acquaintances or even employers. Corporal Flash Sentry, Captain Midnight Blossom, and Captain Tempest Shadow were seated at the table. Anon's suspicions are raised. Why are the ponies that he has the most contact with here? He shrugs and takes the only available seat between Flash and Tempest. When Anon sits down, he gives Flash a hoof/knuckle bump—the ponies around the table talk amongst themselves. A few minutes later, three servers come from the kitchen. One of them announced what was on the menu. The server told a separate menu for the carnivores. Blossom orders medium-rare hydra steak. Anon orders tomato soup, a medium-well steak, and bourbon. After the servers took the orders, the conversations resumed.

"So, Tia, what's with the extra company? Not that I'm complaining, but out of curiosity," Anon asks.

"I figured you'd like to eat with all of your friends tonight," Princess Celestia responds.

"That's fine."

Everyone continues eating. Twilight takes notes on Anon while she eats. Everypony he talks to them. She makes a little note. From her information, she concluded that Anon has not improved since he left Ponyville. Since moving to Canterlot, Twilight figures that Anon should've made more than three friends. Was he resisting making new friends or working so much that he didn't have time for friends? She needed to find out.

"Hey, Anon," Twilight calls out.

"What's up," Anon replies.

"I was wondering why you haven't made very many friends."

Anon takes a bite of his steak. "Was there an unknown quota I had to meet?"

"No. I was curious because I expected you to have more than three."

"I have more friends than this. Most of which are out drinking right now."

"Oh. Why didn't you invite them?"

"They want some time to cut loose, which happens to be in a bar."

Anon takes a sip of his drink. He notices that Twilight is looking at the floor beside her chair. Her lips move as if she were praying silently. Twilight does this when she's writing something.

"Twilight, what are you doing?" Anon asks.

Twilight looks up with a shocked expression on her face. She gives Anon an uneasy grin.

"Uh...nothing?" she replies nervously.

"You know that's bullshit. You were writing something, weren't you?"

Twilight is silent. Princess Celestia is stunned at Anon's observation skills. She didn't even notice that her former student had been writing.

"Look, if you are going to take notes on my behavior, do it when it's not obvious."

"Woah. How in tarnation did you know what she was writin' about?" Applejack asks.

"I've got eyes and ears everywhere, AJ," Anon replies.

He gives Flash a hoof/knuckle bump. That goes unnoticed by almost everypony but Tempest. Being a highly-trained soldier, even the smallest detail doesn't go unnoticed. However, she finds intriguing that Flash has told Anon about it. Flash seems more loyal to his human friend than the Princess of Friendship. How he found out was pretty clever, too.

Anon had noticed Twilight was writing something earlier. He asked Flash to tell Twilight he wanted to share some hot cocoa with her so he could look at what she was writing. While Twilight blushed like an anime girl talking to her senpai, Flash got a look at the notes. When Flash returned, he reported to Anon.

It was a simple flank reconnaissance maneuver with a twist. The EAF uses a move since they receive some training in espionage and recon. Tempest assumes that Anon has been reading about the EAF in the many books about them.

Twilight didn't pick up her quill for the rest of the meal. She realized that she was being rude by taking notes during dinner. What surprised her was that Anon didn't even lose his temper for doing things behind his back. Twilight guesses he has mastered self-control. However, there was one thing that needed to be addressed. Twilight gives Rarity a slight nod.

"Anon, darling," Rarity says.

"I swear if this is one of your marefriend applications, I'm still uninterested," Anon replies. He gives Spike a wink.

"I'm not, dear. I noticed you were...acting strangely earlier today. You were opting to drink alone rather than be with your friends. Is everything okay?"

"Yep. Everything's good."

"That's not true. You become a meany or want to be lonely when you are upset. We're your friends. You can tell us anything. We can turn your frowny upside downy," Pinkie pipes up.

"Look, I'm an ambivert. Somedays, I want to be with people; I don't. It's just who I am," Anon replies.

Anon's statement is true, but it is a smokescreen to attract their attention to his personality traits rather than what was troubling him. He feels like burdening his friends with his problems isn't fair. They already have enough to deal with, so adding to their worries wouldn't be considerate. Anon might be an asshole, but he is smart enough to know it's wrong.

Soon, dessert is brought out—a marble cake with cream cheese frosting. Once dessert is over, everyone leaves to attend the tree-lighting festival. Anon tries to leave his room, but Celestia and Luna must use their magic to force him outside. "Mandatory fun" is what they call it. They forbid him from returning to the castle until the festival ends. When Anon complains about his lack of winter clothes, Celestia doesn't hesitate to teleport his three jackets to him. Both Flash and Tempest are assigned to be Anon's escorts. The two Royal Guards don't have a say in the matter, but Anon protests. He says they need the evening off and that a pair of Lunar Guards could be his escorts. Princess Celestia wouldn't budge. Anon saw no point in starting an argument; he walked into the crowd of ponies with his entourage.

The trio walks a small distance before Anon gets a hankering for some hot cocoa. He soon finds a stand that is giving out hot cocoa. The line isn't too long, so Anon gets in line.

"You guys want any?" Anon asks.

"I'll get something for the heck of it," Flash replies.

"I'm good," Tempest grumbles.

"C'mon, Tempest. At least try to make the best out of a shitty situation," Anon says. "You don't have to be happy and prance everywhere."

"Whatever. I prefer to be inside with a book or something."

"You read?" Flash asks.

"Watch it, Corporal. We are still technically on duty, and yes, I do read."

"Sorry, Captain. I didn't peg you as the reading type."

"You didn't peg Commander Shine as the 'closet pervert' type?"

Anon looks at Tempest. "What the fuck?"

"Yeah. Corporal Sentry caught Commander Shoe Shine, stroking it to a Playstallion magazine full of scantily dressed mares."

"That's hilarious," Anon laughs.

"Was not," Flash mumbles.

"Nothing like catching a CO pleasuring himself," Tempest chuckles.

"I'd fucking kill myself if I were caught. Not literally, of course, but-"

"We get your point," Tempest interrupts.

The trio makes it to the front of the line. Anon and Flash get their drinks. Then, the trio ends up looking at some of the other booths. Anon grabs some cookies, although he is still full from dinner. It isn't long before Anon and his armed companions are bored. They stand by themselves, watching the other ponies amuse themselves. Anon is tempted to ditch his escorts, using a bathroom break as an excuse, and sneak back to the castle. However, eluding two highly-trained Royal Guards would not be an easy task. Not to mention, deceiving the princesses would likely result in getting publicly scolded. I thought leaving to get a drink at Flasks and Mugs wasn't something Princesses said he couldn't do.

"Hey, you guys wanna get something to drink?" Anon asks.

"You just had hot cocoa," Flash says.

"I mean alcohol at Flasks and Mugs."

"I'm down," Tempest announces.

"Are you sure? If Princess Celestia and Princess Luna find out we left, it could be bad news for all of us," Flash asks.

"Yes, I am sure. The princesses said I couldn't leave back to the castle, not to get a drink. We should be fine if we return before the tree's lighting."

"If we get in trouble, I'll pin it on your butt," Flash says.

"Fair enough."

The trio makes their way toward Flasks and Mugs unnoticed. As Anon had guessed on the way, the bar is packed with off-duty Solar and Royal Guards. Every single table is occupied. Very few non-guards are in the bar. Anon stands there momentarily to see if there are any available seats. He sees four empty stools at the bar. Anon, Flash, and Tempest sit and wait for somepony to get them a drink. They wait for five minutes before Sweet Mimosa walks over to them.

"Hello, there. What can I get you?" she asks.

"Bourbon, for me. The whole bottle, please," Anon replies.

"I'll take a craft beer. Two bottles," Flash answers.

"Light beer," Tempest says.

"Okay. Coming right up."

Sweet Mimosa walks away to grab the drinks. Anon turns to ask Flash something that's been on his mind for a decent part of the day.

"Hey, Flash. What's this thing between you and Twilight?" he asks.

"It's a long story," Flash answers. He takes a swig of his beer.

"I've got time. What about you, Tempest?"

Tempest nods her head.

"Twilight and her friends went to a royal summit in the Crystal Empire two years ago. My squad and I were assigned to be Twilight's escort. A former student of Princess Celestia's managed to steal her crown, which had the Element of Magic, and took it to another dimension. The dimension she visited was similar to this one, except it had your species. I guess there was another version of me in that dimension because she showed signs of having a crush on me after she returned. There wasn't any connection beforehand other than me not paying attention and running into her."

"And you don't feel the same way?"

"Exactly."

"Have you told her that?"

"No, I haven't. Don't get me wrong, Anon. She's a lovely pony and admittedly attractive. She didn't fall in love with me; she fell in love with that other Flash. We might be the same pony...er...person, but simultaneously, we're different. Get what I'm saying, Anon?"

"I get it. What you need to do, Flash, is let her know you don't feel the same way," Anon says.

"He's right. Letting her believe something exists that doesn't is doing more harm than good. It will hurt like a bitch when you tell her, but you gotta rip off the band-aid," Tempest adds.

"I know. I'll tell her when I get some hot chocolate later."

Flash drinks the rest of his beer before excusing himself to use the bathroom. Anon pours the last bourbon into his glass and finishes it with one quick gulp. When Sweet Mimosa offers him another battle, Anon refuses. He needs to be somewhat coherent for the rest of the night, not for his own sake but for Flash's sake.

The lighting of the tree is about five minutes away. Anon stands on the small platform with Princess Celestia and Luna. Six Royal and Lunar Guards stand at the base of the platform. Anon had planned on standing nearby when Flash talked to Twilight. It's his way of being there for him. However, the princesses wanted Anon on the platform when the tree was lit. Anon attempted to protest, but he was immediately shut down.

Ponies begin to approach the platform with a cheerful glow in their eyes. Anon can see the excited expressions quickly appear on their faces. That doesn't matter to him since he wants to help Flash. Flash stands off behind the growing crowd with a nervous and frightened look. Anon can almost feel his nervousness.

A few minutes go by. Princess Celestia clears her throat before starting to speak in her Canterlot voice.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlecolts. Thank you for coming out tonight and attending the Light of the Canterlot Castle Tree Festival. Every year, I have-"

Anon stops paying attention. It isn't hard to do despite the fact Princess Celestia is using her ground-shaking Canterlot voice. He spots Twilight walking up to Flash Sentry. Flash looks over at Anon. Anon gives Flash a nod for the go-ahead.

"Déjala caer fácil, mi amigo," (Let her down easy, my friend) Anon whispers.

He sees Flash Sentry remove his helmet and begin to speak. Anon can't hear a thing he is saying, but body language is everything. Flash Sentry is stiff and rigid. However, as he continues to speak, his body relaxes a little. He isn't acting like a soldier but rather a regular pony. Twilight, on the other hoof, the body becomes slacker and slacker from sadness and disappointment. She uses her foot to wipe her eyes. It isn't long before she breaks down into tears and runs away. Anon shakes his head. He knew this would happen. Flash stomps his hoof in frustration, puts on his helmet, and walks away. Then, Anon decides to tune back into Princess Celestia's speech.

"Perhaps the most exciting event to occur this year was the arrival of a new creature in Equestria this past June. You may have seen him around Canterlot helping ponies with jobs around their homes and businesses. Perhaps you hired him for a job. For those who don't know him, I'm proud to introduce my friend, Anonymous," Princess Celestia announces.

The ponies clop their hooves politely. Anon gives a gentle wave to the crowd.

"Anonymous and several other ponies helped set up the tree this afternoon, braving the cold and wind. They put all of their efforts into it. Every one of them should have our respect and appreciation. And now, the moment you all have been waiting for."

Princess Celestia uses her magic to levitate two cords. She stops for a moment; then, she looks over at Anon. For over 1,000 years, Princess Celestia has lit the tree. Quite frankly, this "honor" has become monotonous. Maybe it is time for the honor to go somepony else. Instead, someone else.

She uses her magic to hand the two cords to Anon. Some whispers seep out of the crowd.

"What are you doing?" Anon asks.

"I want you to light the tree. You earned it," she replies.

He takes hold of the cords and connects them. The tree's lights light up in all of their glory. Cheers, the clopping of hooves, oohs, and ahhs fill the air. The foals in the crowd look up at the tree with a cheerful glow. Anon looks at the tree to admire his and the ponies' work they had put in. Now that the tree is lit and the ponies happy, he sets down the cords, walks over to some stairs, and off the platform. Both Flash and Tempest are standing at the base. Anon notices that Flash looks depressed. His ears are limp, and he hangs his head. Anon sighs.

"It had to be done, Flash," Anon says nonchalantly.

"I know, but I regret saying anything," he replies.

"What exactly did you tell her?

"I told her I knew she liked me, but I didn't feel the same way. I told her that she was a nice pony but not the one for me. I didn't finish my talking points before she started crying."

"I figured she at least would've tried to hold it in long enough to hear you out," Tempest says.

"Well, it's over now. Nothing we can do now," Anon adds.

"Yeah. Great," Flash sighs.

"Hey, amigo. You did the right thing. You let her down easy, and that's that. You gotta move on now."

Flash nods his head in agreement. Anon pats him on the helmet to give him some reassurance.

Anon, Tempest, and Flash hang around for about thirty minutes before Anon decides to leave. Princess Celestia lets them go. The two guards go to the barracks while Anon returns to his room.

Princess Celestia shakes her head in disappointment. Not that she's disappointed in Anon, but in herself. Since Anon had been isolating himself for the past few days, she thought being around his friends would cheer him up. However, Anon clams up, as usual, and says he's okay. She understands if he doesn't talk to Twilight, Flash, or any of his friends, but he never said anything to her about what had been bothering him. Anon had admitted a few weeks back that she was his most trusted friend. Now, she realizes the mistake she made. Celestia needed to be there for him. Anon didn't need to fill his time with activities or many people. He needs her. When Anon was with Celestia, Anon was more open than a book. Celestia curses herself for not seeing this before. However, this wasn't the time to dwell on it. Princess Celestia sighs and goes to be with her subjects.

Anon's walk back to his room is quiet. Lunar Guards stand at attention at their posts. As usual, Anon gave respectful nods to the guards and, with the gesture, returned to him. The same two Lunar Guards guard his room at night, Sergeant Lavender Petal and Moon Shadow, stand at his door. They give him a playful salute. Anon gives them the bird.

Lavender, Moon, and Anon had gotten close over the past few weeks. On nights when Anon couldn't sleep, he would invite them into his room to play cards, talk, and whatnot. Tonight, however, Anon is tired. He changes into a t-shirt and shorts and slips into bed.

He lies there for an hour. It ticks him off that just an hour before, he was yawning, and his eyelids were heavy. For some reason, he's wide awake. He tosses and turns for another hour. Still, sleep seems to elude him. Out of frustration, Anon gets up and walks toward the library. Since reading puts him to sleep quickly, it is his best option to fall asleep. Little does he realize that this decision will be a costly one.

Due to the Lunar Guard being EAF's 2nd most minor branch, not every bit of the castle is guarded. Only 40% of it is protected at night. The hallway Anon is walking down is a part of the other unguarded 60%. Only the moon's light fills it.

When Anon gets halfway down, he hears someone call out to him.

"ANON!! YOU'VE GOT SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!!" the voice yells.

The voice is raspy and sounds angry. Anon knows precisely who it is. He turns around, and, as he guessed, a mad Rainbow Dash is standing about twenty feet away.

"What are you talking about?"

"We found Twilight crying her eyes out, saying that Flash had told her he wasn't 'interested' in her. Then, we found out the YOU had a hoof in it!"

"Hold on a damn minute. Yes, I did have a hand in it, but-"

"There! You admit it. You are going to pay for hurting Twilight."

"It wasn't like that at all."

"Liar! I know you don't like Twilight, so you planned that to hurt her."

"Listen, dumbass. That's not what-"

Anon is cut off when Rainbow Dash tackles him. She moved so fast that Anon didn't even see her progress. Rainbow Dash begins to swing wildly at Anon's face. Anon uses his forearms to block each punch. He finds an opening and swings his fist at her muzzle. As Anon's fist strikes Rainbow Dash's muzzle, she yelps and falls back. Anon gets up and puts some distance between himself and Rainbow.

"Is that all you got?" Anon sneers.

Rainbow Dash wipes her nose with her hoof. It is dripping with blood.

"I'm just getting started," she snaps.

Anon slides his left foot back and pulls his fists into a fighting stance. He needs to be ready. Rainbow Dash is swift, so being prepared is a necessity. When she charges again, using her wings to propel herself, Anon dodges the attack. She tries this attack four times; Anon avoids the move each time.

This time, Rainbow Dash uses her wings to elevate herself. Her only option was to beat Anon hoof-to-hoof. She swings at Anon, but he either blocks or dodges them completely. Then, Anon sees another opening. He uppercuts Rainbow Dash in the stomach, swings his left fist for a left hook, and sidekicks her in the chest. The force sends Rainbow Dash flying to the ground.

"Seriously, if you're going to kick my ass, actually try to," Anon says.

Rainbow Dash spits up some blood. "As I said, I'm just getting started."

"Bring you A game, puta."

Rainbow Dash stands up. Her adrenaline is pumping through her veins like poison. She grits her teeth, screams, and takes flight. Rainbow flies circles around Anon. The only thing that he can see is a rainbow-colored blur. Then, a hoof strikes Anon across the face. A second later, another blow hits Anon in the diaphragm. All of the air leaves Anon's lungs. Then, Anon is knocked back with an uppercut. He is thrown a short distance before he falls on his back. Anon lands on his back, still gasping for air. Finally, he catches his breath and props himself up on one knee. He smells the scent of iron. He touches his nose with his index finger. Blood covers his finger. Anon stands up, albeit very slowly, because his chest still hurts.

Both Rainbow Dash and Anon breathe heavily. Rainbow Dash rears back on her haunches with her wings spread. Anon sinks his hips into a fighting stance. Then, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie, and Rarity run upon the pair. They are shocked to see both Anon and Rainbow bloodied and beaten.

"What in tarnation are y'all doin'?" Applejack asks.

"I'm teaching Anon a lesson!" Rainbow Dash snaps.

"I didn't even finish explaining myself before this psychopath attacked me!" Anon shouts.

"Dashy. You needed to let him finish. There might have been a good reason for what he did," Pinkie pleads.

"I heard enough, Pinkie," she growls.

Rainbow Dash flies toward Anon. He swings his right fist as hard as possible for a roundhouse punch. The punch hits her in the muzzle, and Rainbow is knocked off course. She manages to land on her feet. She shakes her head and then retakes flight. Anon jumps for a flying horse kick. The kick sends Rainbow Dash off course again, and she hits the ground with a thump. She groans as she struggles to get up.

"Are you done yet?" Anon asks.

"Nope. Just getting-" Rainbow Dash stands up, then flies at full speed. "-WARMED UP!!!"

Anon has no time to react. Rainbow Dash punches Anon in the chest as hard as her beaten body can allow her. Several of his ribs break. The punch is so powerful that Anon is knocked off his feet and back. However, he is hit farther than intended.

Anon's back breaks the window and falls through. Anon feels as if he is falling in slow motion. Fear and shock fill Anon's body as he uselessly grabs at the air. He can hear the screams of the mares inside the castle. He begins to scream but is cut short when something catches him. Lavender Petal and Moon Shadow have a hold of Anon's arms. Anon looks frantically between the two.

"You good, Anon?" Moon asks. His eyes are full of concern.

"Yeah," Anon replies. The shock of almost dying resonates in his voice.

"Let's get him inside," Lavender says. The two thestrals fly Anon through the broken window.

Anon first sees an entire squad of Lunar Guards surrounding Rainbow Dash. She looks more bruised and bloodied than before he fell out the window. Then, Captain Midnight Blossom appears from the darkness with two more Lunar Guards, both earth ponies.

"Corporal Cinder and Private Cinnamon, take the prisoner to Infirmary Room D. Keep her under armed guard until the princesses arrive," she orders.

"Yes, ma'am," the guards that are flanking her respond.

They lower their spears and herd Rainbow Dash away. Her friends follow them. Blossom and the rest of the guards walk over to Anon. She can see that Anon is still in a state of shock. His green skin is pale, and he has a blank stare. Blood is steadily pouring from his nose. Anon holds his chest as if trying to put pressure on a stab wound.

"Anonymous, are you okay?" Blossom asks.

There is no response.

"Anonymous!!" she shouts.

Anon jerks and blinks a little, like he was broken out of a trance.

"Are you okay?" Blossom asks.

"Not," Anon replied.

"I meant up here, numbnuts." Blossom taps her helmet with her hoof.

"Yeah, all good."

Blossom narrows her eyes. The Lunar Guard captain isn't buying it.

"You aren't an excellent liar, Anonymous," she deadpans. Then, she turns to the guards around her. "Everypony, make sure that Anonymous gets to Infirmary Room A. An entire squad is to stand guard outside the room. I'm more concerned about his safety than Rainbow Dash's. Sergeant Major Petal and Sergeant Shadow find Doc's Blood Pressure and get her here. Have her tend to Anon's wounds, perform a cranial nerve exam, and a psychology test. I'll fetch the princesses. They'll want to hear about this."

"Seriously, Blossom. I don't need a psychological test. I'm fine," Anon objects.

"That's bullshit, and you know it. You are in a state of shock. It's pretty obvious," Blossom snaps.

Blossom motions for the group of guards around her and Anon to get moving. She begins her trek toward the princesses' rooms as they walk away. She knows how much Anon means to the princesses, especially to Celestia. So, how they will react to hearing Anon being attacked by a pony, Rainbow Dash, no less, is unknown. That makes her nervous, and that is saying something. She has seen dozens of battlefields and killed hundreds of creatures in cold blood, but the untold anger of not one but two princesses rattles her. She prays to whatever god or gods are watching over her that this entire debacle will end quickly.

Anon sits quietly on the examination table. Dr. Blood Pressure, a maroon-maned and white-bodied unicorn, uses her magic to shine a penlight in Anon's face. A nurse sits close by with a clipboard in her lap. A pen sticks out of her mouth as she writes down everything Dr. Pressure says about Anon.

"Okay, Anonymous. If you can follow the light with your eyes for me, that'd be perfect," she says.

Her voice is tender and soft. It even relaxes Anon's nerves. His once-tense muscles had settled, and his breathing had become less complicated.

Dr. Pressure uses her magic to move the penlight to her left. Anon's eyes shift to her left. After testing Anon's ocular reflexes, she tests the nerves in Anon's face. Then, his sense of smell and touch. Once the cranial nerve exam is completed, Dr. Pressure reviews her notes. She worries that she might have missed something. She has performed exams on ponies, griffins, and even a minotaur, but never on a creature like this. To get an idea of conducting a cranial nerve exam on Anon, she took a 20-minute crash course on monkey biology and anatomy.

Then, she moves on to a psychological exam. Anon begrudgingly answers the questions. He decides to humor the doctor and answer honestly. Dr. Pressure writes down some notes while Anon speaks. The exam is finished after about 15 minutes of endless questions, sarcastic remarks, and brutally honest answers. As usual, Dr. Pressure reviews her notes.

"Well, from what I can tell, you will probably need counseling after your near-death experience," she says.

"I'm telling you, doc. I'm fine. Save therapy for people who need it," Anon scoffs.

"You need it, Anonymous. Do I have to remind you that Rainbow Dash almost killed you an hour ago?"

"No, you don't need to remind me. Granted, I was in a state of shock, but that nerve exam thing relaxed me. So, no therapy needed."

Dr. Pressure grunts in frustration. Why this creature was refusing mental help is beyond her. Never in her 12 years as a doctor has she seen that happen. Even her nurse gives a bewildered look. Both are at a loss for words.

Eyes are windows to the soul in Equestria, so Dr. Pressure looks into Anon's eyes to see if she can get an answer. She considers him a strong-willed, courageous, but damaged man. His eyes show defiance, like the eyes of a soldier. Based on his physique, she would've guessed he was a soldier before coming to Equestria.

"Fine, I won't force you to go to counseling, but I highly recom-"

Before she can finish her sentence, a bright yellow flash surrounds the room. Standing in the center are the princesses and a Lunar Guard captain. The princesses begin asking questions to see if Anon is alright. He brushes the questions off as if they annoy him to death. Both princesses wrap him in a big hug. However, Anon pushes them away. They look at him with concerned looks on their faces. Dr. Pressure decides to speak up.

"I would advise against hugging Anon for the time being," she says.

"Why not?" Princess Celestia asks.

"He's got four cracked ribs. A few of them are bruised. Aside from some cuts on his back and being punched out a window, he's fine. After his psychological exam, I suggested he go to counseling to deal with some of the shocks of nearly dying. Even though at my persistence, Anonymous has turned it down."

Both princesses look at Anon with concerned expressions. Blossom facehoofs and calls Anon an idiot under her breath. Anon shrugs his shoulders innocently. What surprises him is that the princesses don't try to convince him to go to therapy or force him. They sigh, are disappointed, and move on to a different topic.

"Anon, explain to me why Rainbow Dash attacked you. She wouldn't attack somepony unless she had a good reason to," Princess Luna asked.

"Well, think again. What happened was that Flash Sentry told Tempest and me that Twilight had a crush on him. He didn't feel the same way, but Flash didn't know how to tell Twilight. So Tempest and I helped him out. I was walking to the library when Rainbow Dash stopped me, accusing me of purposefully talking Flash into letting down Twilight to spite her. I'm an asshole sometimes, but I wouldn't stoop down to that level. I assume Blossom told you the rest," Anon explains.

Celestia sighs and shakes her head. "This is ridiculous. I'm just glad you're okay. You have almost died twice within three months."

"Don't worry, Celestia. I'm okay. Suppose it wasn't for Lavender Petal and Moon Shadow. I'd be...well, dead."

"Rainbow Dash mustn't go unpunished. Attempted murder is not acceptable," Luna snaps.

"Hold on a sec. Rainbow Dash may be a hothead, but I don't think she'd try to kill me. She probably didn't know her strength. My friend back home didn't realize how strong he was. He almost broke my arm after he punched me. Playfully, of course," Anon says.

"You had friends?" Blossom asks sarcastically. She has an enormous shit-eating grin growing on her face.

Anon raises his middle finger, "Go fuck yourself."

"Don't threaten me with a good time."

Anon's eyes raise, and he sputters out a laugh. Pain shoots through his rib cage. He grabbed his ribs and winced. Celestia moves closer to hold him close, but she stops herself. It's a pony's nature to have another creature close when they are emotionally or physically hurt. However, public displays of affection make Anon uncomfortable. Mainly because he doesn't want other ponies to get the wrong idea. So, Celestia takes a step back as Anon sits back up.

"About that punishing whole Rainbow Dash thing, I don't think you should. Considering it was merely an accident. Besides, I'm sure the Lunar Guards around gave her a good thrashing. I'd say that's punishment enough," Anon announces.

"Fair enough. And which of my guards saved you?" Luna asks.

"Sergeant Major Lavender Petal and Sergeant Moon Shadow."

"Interesting. I see some promotions coming their way or even a medal."

"Sounds great. I think they'd appreciate that. Now, can someone help me back to my bedroom? I don't think I will make it far before collapsing."

Celestia smiles and offers her help. Anon hobbles over to the princess. He puts an arm across her back. In a bright yellow flash, Anon and Princess Celestia disappear.

It's Hearth's Warming Day. The snow gently falls on Canterlot. The sun has already set, and Luna's night has spread across the sky. Anon lays on his bed, reading Daring Do and the Armies of the Quartz Skeletons. Most of his friends are in the throne room at a Hearth's Warming party. A party that everponies' favorite party pony threw. Due to Anon disliking the holiday, he opted to stay in his room the entire day.

He mainly spent his day reading. The entire day, nopony bothered him. Not even the princesses came by to check on him. Primarily because he requested to be left alone. Princess Celestia didn't plead for Anon to partake in any day's activities; she just left him alone.

Anon enjoys the peace he has. He can do what he wants without having Tempest, Flash, or the princesses watching over him. However, as the hours drag on and the day gets darker, Anon's reading patterns change. Instead of reading the page from top to bottom and retaining the information, Anon scans the page. He gets the gist of the page and moves on to the next one. It took a while before Anon noticed this pattern. Soon, he gets out of bed and walks around to get the blood in his legs going. Eventually, his mind wanders. A lot of things come to his mind. Work, money, and books are among those things. The thought of his friends crossed his mind, as well. He wonders about their well-being and what they are doing right now. Eventually, Anon decides to use the bathroom before going back to reading.

He uses the bathroom and then walks back into the bedroom. As he picks up his book, he hears voices outside his door. It's Princess Celestia, Lavender Petal, and Moon Shadow. Anon opens his door. All three ponies look at Anon with surprise.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Anon asks.

"I came to see how you were doing," Princess Celestia replies.

"Oh. It's kinda lonely, to be completely honest."

Celestia frowns a bit. "Would you like some company? For a little bit, at least."

Anon rubs his now fully-grown beard. He considered Celestia's offer for a moment. Then, he nods his head.

"Sure. Why not. Moon Shadow and Lavender Petal take a two-hour break. The princess and I will need some privacy," Anon says.

The two guards squint at Anon suspiciously. He knows exactly what they're thinking. He rolls his eyes and tells them it wasn't a "Hearth's Warming romantic rendezvous." He knew that Celestia just wanted to talk. Lavender and Moon shrug and walk away. However, Lavender turns around and tells Anon no "rough stuff and to use protection." Anon slams his door shut.

"Bastardos cachondos," (Horny bastards) Anon grumbles.

Princess Celestia is sitting at the edge of Anon's bed, facing the window. He sits down next to her. They sit silent and watch the stars twinkle—a shooting star darts across the sky. Anon is tempted to make a wish, like he did when he was a kid, for old times' sake. He decides against it. He thinks he is beyond childish activities such as wising on a comet passing by the Earth.

"Did you know that stars in my dimension don't twinkle?" Anon asks.

"I did not," Celestia replies.

"An electromagnetic field protects the planet. It's like a giant energy field. The field bends the light given off by the stars, giving the impression that they twinkle. It's just an optical illusion, like a mirage in a desert," Anon explains.

"Doesn't that take away the magic and fun out of the night sky?"

Anon shrugs. "What you call magic, we call science."

Once again, they sit in silence. However, sitting in silence in the dark, looking at the night sky, isn't what Celestia came here for.

"Anon, what's going on with you?" she asks as she looks at Anon.

"What do you mean?"

"You've been pushing everypony away, aside from your guards, since Hearth's Warming season started. When we ask you what's wrong, you blow us off. You say you're fine and that there isn't anything wrong. Even a Royal Guard cadet can tell that's not true. What's wrong with you, Anon?"

Anon looks at Celestia. Her eyes are full of concern and worry. He feels a twinge of pain in his heart, and his stomach feels like it's been twisted into a tight knot. He wants to tell Celestia everything but doesn't want to burden her with his problems. The problems are his to bear and his alone. However, Anon decides it is best to tell her."

"What's wrong with me is that I hate Christman, Hearth's Warming. My parents spoiled my little brother with expensive gifts while I was given bullshit stocking stuffers. Not only that, I was forced to clean up after opening the gifts and the meals. I wasn't even allowed to celebrate with my friends. After years of that senseless bullshit, I have hated the holiday. I tried everything in my power to avoid it."

"And why didn't you tell anypony how you felt?"

Anon hangs his head.

"Because my problems aren't yours to bear. They are mine and mine alone. You have to worry about running a fucking kingdom. I didn't want my mental health to add to your worries. It's not fair to me to do that to you. Besides, you had Hearth's Warming festivities to plan for."

"Anon, look at me."

Anon returns his gaze to Celestia.

"First off, I already worry about you. I've worried about you since you risked your life for Sweetie Belle and got stabbed by that griffin. You are my friend, Anonymous. I believe I'm allowed to care about your mental health and well-being. Seeing you shut yourself off from everypony concerned me. Lastly, Anon, it is fair for you to share your burdens with me because I asked you to. You don't need to be so stubborn. It's not healthy to conceal your pain at all. Take Luna, for example. She concealed her pain for so long that she turned into Nightmare Moon. I'm not saying that will happen to you, but the concept is the same."

"You're right, Tia. I've hidden my pain and emotions for so long that it has become a habit. I practically have to force myself to talk. It may be easy for most ponies to talk about their feelings, but for men back home, it's not. People expect men to be protectors, strong, and brave. We get ridiculed and told to man up to admit our weaknesses. Shit, that was my life every day."

"That's so wrong."

"It is. My world is so fucked up. Misogynists treat women like shit. The good guys get passed over for pieces of shit in relationships. Some women treat men like replaceable objects, and people hate others because of their ethnic backgrounds."

"Your world is awful."

"Equestria is no different. The Canterlot elite treats others as second-class citizens, especially the thestrals. They treat non-ponies with disrespect and are cruel to them."

Celestia is silent. She hates to admit it, but Anon is right. She likes to think the best of her ponies but sees what he is talking about. Most of the elite don't even recognize her sister as a legitimate ruler of Equestria.

"I guess both worlds aren't perfect," Princess Celestia says.

"We can either sit around and act like nothing's happening, or you can do something about it. That's just a part of life," Anon adds. "Tia, thank you for coming and talking to me. It was nice to get that get off my chest."

"You're welcome, Anon. I'm glad you told me."

"I turned down therapy because I wanted my friends to help me, not some mare or stallion I don't trust or to be forced into meaningless activities. I'm wired that way. Why? I couldn't tell you."

"All of us are different, so it doesn't bother me."

Anon stands up and stretches his arms and legs. He grabs his knife, straps it to his belt, and puts on his jacket. Princess Celestia stands up with a confused look on her face.

He turns around with a raised eyebrow. "You coming?"

"Where?"

"To the party. Where else? Besides, Flasks and Mugs are closed for Hearth's Warming."

Princess Celestia stands up with a smile on her face. Anon opens the door and lets Celestia through first. She stops and gently kisses Anon's forehead. He freezes and puts his hand on his head.

"Please, don't do that again," Anon says flatly.

"Okay, fair enough," she replies, still smiling.

Anon closes the door behind him and walks down the hall with Princess Celestia. They walk in silence for a while before Anon decides to speak again.

"I swear to everything good and holy, if mistletoe hangs above the throne room door, I'm walking my green ass back to my room."

Princess Celestia laughs. "I'm sure you will, Anonymous. I'm sure you will."

A Call to Something More

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Chapter 9

It has been six months since Hearth's Warming and a little over a year since Anonymous arrived in Equestria. The snow has completely melted, and the mild summer heat beats down on Canterlot. However, this doesn't bother Anon. Working many hours in the summer heat back home and in Ponyville helped with that. Besides, the weather in Canterlot is much better than in most areas. Anon read a few months back that the construction workers built the city at an altitude where the weather wasn't too hot or cold. Every day during the summertime, the average temperature was between 72 and 85 degrees Fahrenheit (22.2 to 29.4 degrees Celsius). Today was no different.

Anon is walking back to the castle. He is whistling an upbeat tune and a little skip in his step. If he is honest, Anon doesn't know what's got him in a good mood. Maybe it's the air or the recent semi-decent respect he's been getting. Well, from the lower- and middle-class ponies in Canterlot.

For the past two hours, Anon had been at Flasks and Mugs. The building needed a new paint job, so Smooth Bourbon and Sweet Mimosa requested Anon to paint it. The colors are white, blue, and purple. The colors represented the colors of the plumes of the EAF. Now, Anon is on his way to meet with a Royal Guard named Sergeant Major Eagle Eyes. Anon must walk to the castle training grounds since Eagle Eyes is a drill sergeant.

When Anon arrives, he sees 100 ponies on a company front. Standing in front of them is a fully armored Royal Guard. Two other officers stand next to him. The guard is screaming at the top of his lungs. Anon can hear every single word from 200 meters away. The guard is in the middle of one of those rants when you're called every slur in the book.

The rant goes something like this:

"I put in a special order for pillage-hungry, griffin-slaying badasses, but all I got were fruitcake, pussy-hoofers, and a side order of fucknuggets. I can tell 50% of you are cocksuckers, and the other 50% are cocksuckers that never got their cutie marks. I'll shove my hoof so far and fast up your assholes that it will crack Canterlot Mountain in two. All of you reek of alcohol abuse and prostitution. Every breath you fuckshits take is a great endorsement of using birth control. All of you make taking a massive shit in front of the princesses a more pleasant experience than training all of you. You signed up to pussy-pound Princess Celestia, but all of you cried like sissies when you realized you couldn't rail the princess. Your virgin pussies probably cried so much that you could flood the valley below us. You glitter-hoofed, dick-sucking, fagmuffin fuckstains will have your anal cavities stretched so far apart that you'll think you are being double-hoofed by King Drengr of the Minotaurs himself. I will reorganize the shitpile that is your pathetic existence. I will fuckstart your life. I'll make you twinkle-hoof, ass-eating, circle-jerking, fuckshits scream louder than your mother when she got ass-fucked in a nightclub orgy. I'll cut off your shriveled balls, put them where your brains should be, put a sombrero on your head, and beat you like a piñata. I'll make you shit so much that you'll increase the sewer business by 300%. But don't worry; I'll turn you shit-for-brains cockgoblins into death masters of international proportions in three long months. Now, everypony, drop and give me 50."

Anon stands behind the guard quietly. Never in his life had he heard a drill sergeant rant like that. He manages to stifle a laugh throughout the rant. Eventually, Anon clears his throat to get the guard's attention. He turns around with a killer glare in his eyes. Anon begins to sweat.

"What in the fuckin' shitstorm do you want?" he snaps.

"Are...are...are you Sergeant Major Eagle Eyes?" Anon asks.

The guard's gaze relaxes.

"Yes, I am. You must be that Anonymous fellow I asked about."

"Yep. You said you needed something repaired?"

"Yeah. Some of the doors on the barracks are falling off the hinges. I figured you'd be the guy to do it."

"That's true. You can point me in the right direction since you have cadets to make suffer."

"Damn straight."

Eagle Eyes point in the direction of one of the barracks. Anon thanks him and walks over to the barracks. When Anon opens the door, it almost falls off. He growls in frustration.

You would think the military budget would include repairs for its buildings, Anon thinks.

Anon sets his tool bag down and picks up some screws and a screwdriver. He begins to remove the screws. A majority of the screws aren't too difficult to remove. Some of them are stripped, which requires Anon to use a unique tool that helps remove them. When Anon gets to the last screw, he notices it's rusted to the hinge. He gets an idea from the Mexicans he used to work with.

He takes a propane blowtorch from his tool bag and holds the flame close to the screw. After a minute or two, Anon pours water on the screw to cool it off. Then, Anon removes the screw easily. Anon takes the door and lies next to him. He disposes of the old hinges and screws and attaches the new ones. It isn't long before Anon has the door back up.

Several doors in the barracks had hinges and screws that needed replacing. So, Anon spends most of the day finishing up with the doors. He's on the penultimate door when Sergeant Major Eagle Eyes walks up behind Anon.

"How's it coming along, Anonymous?" the guard asks.

"After this door, I will be on my last one," Anon responds

"Got another question for you. Did you ever serve?"

"I wanted to, but I denied the opportunity."

"Shit, that sucks. The reason I ask is that you have the build of a soldier. Not only that, you carry yourself and are disciplined like one."

"I practiced for years before I was of age."

"Could've fooled me. Did you ever consider joining the guard?"

"Didn't think I could join."

"There isn't a set-in-stone rule that non-ponies can't join. Most of those fucktard nobleponies think that the rule is implied."

"Interesting. Can I buy you a beer after the guard change to discuss it later? I want to finish this up."

"Sure. Meet me at Flasks and Mugs at, say...1815 hours."

"Sounds perfect."

Eagle Eyes turns around and walks out of the barracks.

Anon finishes with the doors. He pulls out his clipboard and takes a look at the list. The doors were the last job he had for the day. He had to tell Princess Celestia he wouldn't be at dinner that night.

He starts the long walk to Princess Celestia's private study. He stops by his room to drop off his tool bag, tool belt, and clipboard. After that, he stops by the library to return a book. Eventually, Anon arrives at Celestia's private study. The Royal Guards give Anon an approving nod. One of them opens the door and lets him through. When Anon walks inside, he sees Princess Celestia slumped over her desk. Her eyes are closed, and a little drool is dripping from the corner of her mouth. He walks over to her and taps her on the head. However, she doesn't wake up.

"Tia, wake up," Anon whispers.

Princess Celestia moans but doesn't wake up. So, Anon leans down and speaks a little louder in her ear.

"Wake up."

The alicorn princess shoots straight up, eyes wide open.

"I don't have feelings for Anonymous! I swear!" she shouts.

Anon backs up with a confused expression on his face. Celestia looks at Anon with shock on her face. She realizes what she said in front of the person she was talking about. A light blush appears on her cheeks.

"Is everything okay?" Anon asks.

"Yes, everything is fine. I'm just tired. I didn't get much sleep last night," Princess Celestia replies.

"I felt that."

"Is there something you need?"

"I was going to tell you I won't be at dinner tonight."

"Oh, why not?

"I'm going to Flasks and Mugs with Sergeant Major Eagle Eyes. I offered to buy him a beer."

"Okay. I'll let the chef know."

Princess Celestia had never met Sergeant Major Eagle Eyes before but had heard about him. She knew he had a reputation for verbally abusing the cadets he trains. That usually involves insulting the cadets' mothers, rutting their mothers, or blatantly calling the cadets obscene names. Celestia heard that he even brought her and her sister into his insults. He was not insulting her, of course. No guard in their correct and conscious mind would even think to do that.

"Why are you meeting with him?" she asks curiously.

"We ran into each other earlier today and got to talking. I offered him a beer, and he agreed to it. Since Flasks and Mugs serve meals now, I decided to make a meal from the meeting," Anon replies.

"Okay. Well, we'll miss you tonight."

"Aww. I'm touched."

Celestia can hear Anon's playful tone. However, she isn't sure if he means his comment. As he leaves, he gives a gentle wave. Then, he closes the door.

The sun princess sighs and returns to her work. The letter on her desk remains unfinished. It's to her niece, Cadence, but she doesn't know what to write. It's about a topic she isn't too familiar with but rather a topic her niece specializes in. Celestia stares at the last sentence she had written before dozing off two hours earlier.

This is what it reads:

"I believe I have fallen in love with Anonymous and don't know what to do."

Anon and Eagle Eyes arrive at Flasks and Mugs. There is an available booth on the right side of the room. The two sit down, and Smooth Bourbon comes over and asks what the pair wants. Anon orders a steak with a Caesar salad and a loaded baked potato. Then, he orders a large bottle of bourbon for both of them. Eagle Eyes order a daffodil sandwich and a fruit salad.

"I'm no recruiter, Anonymous, but I'll try my best to answer any questions you have," the sergeant major says as he sips his drink.

"My first question is, how long is the Royal Guard boot camp?" Anon asks.

"It's 13 weeks long. The first six weeks are your regular physical training, and the last seven are combat drills. Those are more physically draining than the PT."

"The length of time of the boot camp is the same as a branch of the military back home."

"If they are like the Royal Guard, they are probably the most elite branch."

"Honestly, it depends on the job. The Marine Corps is good at fucking shit up. They are the first ones in and the last ones out."

"Damn straight."

Sweet Mimosa brings out the food that the two had ordered. She smiles sweetly at Anon and Eagle Eyes as they dig into their food. The steak is cooked to perfection. For a bunch of vegetarians, the ponies cook meat very well. Anon assumes it's due to the predatory minority living in the country and the thestrals.

"How intense is the combat training?" Anon asks.

"It kinda depends on your definition of 'intense.' They'll teach you spear and sword fighting techniques. Each pony species gets taught separately for obvious reasons. Since I am a pegasus, I get trained to fight with a sword in my mouth, a spear under my wing, and fighting while flying. You, on the other hoof, I don't know how they'd train you," Eagle Eyes replies.

"The big question is if I can join the Royal Guard despite being a non-pony."

"As I said before, there isn't a rule about it. The nobleponies think there is, but I know the requirements, like the back of my hoof. The recruiting office is near the bank on Aura Street if you'd like to talk to them more. That's more of their area."

Anon nods his head as he takes another bite of his steak. The pair talk for two hours, making small talk. When Anon is asked about the Rainbow Dash incident, he explains the event in great detail. Eagle Eyes is surprised that Anon fought one of the fastest pegasi in Equestria and almost won. He is also surprised that Rainbow Dash got off easy. A year's worth of anger management and counseling wasn't something he would've chosen as punishment. A five-year jail sentence would have sufficed.

Eventually, the pair decide it's getting late. Anon pays for their meals, which cost more than expected, and the two go their separate ways. Eagle Eyes trots off to the officer's barracks while Anon slowly walks to the castle.

He ponders the conversation with Eagle Eyes about the Royal Guard. The opportunities that come with enlisting are fantastic. Free health and dental care, significantly higher pay than he is earning as a handyman, a decent pension, and the ability to be deployed anywhere in Equestria. What was quite convincing to Anon was the six-thousand-bit-a-month base pay. However, something is causing Anon to hesitate to make a final decision. Rather somepony. That somepony is Princess Celestia.

Joining the Royal Guard would drastically change their relationship. She could not be his friend anymore. She'd his commander-in-chief. If he received a decent promotion or pay raise, ponies might think Princess Celestia was giving him special favors. If they meet privately to chat, the ponies will get suspicious. Not that they already did, to begin with. Anon becoming a Royal Guard would damage a relationship that Anon valued more than anything. He doesn't know what to do. So, he decided to go to an unlikely source for help. That source is Princess Twilight Sparkle.

The next day, Anon tells Princess Celestia he's taking the next two days off. He buys a train ticket to Ponyville. Thankfully, a train to the small town is leaving at 10 a.m. Anon has an hour to kill, so he goes to Doughnut Joe's to get some doughnut holes. Then, he goes to Flasks and Mugs to get a bottle of bourbon on the three-hour train ride. When 10 o'clock arrives, Anon gets on the train and sits to himself. He eats his doughnut holes and drinks his alcohol. He finishes his breakfast and a quarter of the bottle. Anon puts the drink in his backpack. He puts his feet up and takes a nap.

What seems like ten seconds later, the train arrives at Ponyville Station. The conductor has to wake Anon up from his slumber. With a groan and a muttered swear, Anon puts on his backpack and disembarks.

As Anon steps onto the platform, he takes a deep breath. The smell of the countryside fills his nostrils. This is a smell that Anon misses. He adjusts the straps of his backpack, rolls his shoulders, and steps off into the sunlight. Anon doesn't walk one hundred yards before sweat drips his forehead.

Damn this summer heat, Anon thinks to himself.

The ponies of Ponyville don't notice Anon walking down the streets at first. They notice the tall, green human only when they do a double-take. Most wave and greet him with happy expressions. Anon finds it considerate that they make their greetings short. His quickened pace and focused look probably had something to do with it.

Eventually, Anon arrives at Twilight's Castle. Its crystalline walls glisten in the sun. They almost blind Anon. He reminds himself of the first time he saw it and his comment to Twilight. He opens the door and takes a step inside. Anon's footsteps echo as he walks toward the library. Anon is willing to bet that is where Twilight is. Just as he predicted, the Princess of Friendship sits on a bean bag in the library. A large book, wrapped in a magenta aura, is floating in front of her. She doesn't notice Anon walk up behind her. He leans down and takes a look at what she's reading. Twilight is reading a romance novel. It's something that he didn't expect her to read. The page she reads has an intimate scene where the stallion and mare are having sex. A shit-eating grin creeps across Anon's face.

He leans closer to Twilight and whispers in her ear, "Whatcha reading, Sparkle-butt?"

Twilight yelps and tosses the book across the room. She looks at Anon with embarrassment. A blush appears on her cheeks. The shit-eating grin is still on his face.

"Seriously, Twilight, reading a book of that genre is very unbecoming of a princess," Anon says mockingly.

"Sneaking up behind ponies and scaring them is also unbecoming!" Twilight retorts.

"Cool your jets, Twilight. That book is not something to be too ashamed of. I watched my fair share of porn when I was a teenager. A bit too much, I might add."

Twilight raises an eyebrow. "Porn?"

"You know, pornography."

Twilight shakes her head to show that the word is still unfamiliar. Now, it's Anon's turn to blush. He rubs the back of his neck nervously.

"Porn is a film that presents sexually explicit subject matters to arouse and satisfy the viewer. They usually include stimulating material such as nudity and sexual intercourse," Anon explains.

A mocking grin creeps across Twilight's face. Anon knows he's walked into a carefully laid trap.

"Anon, I know what pornography is. I just wanted to get you back for sneaking up on me," Twilight says.

"Well played, Sparkle."

Twilight laughs as she uses her magic to pick up the book and put it in a box with a lock. She turns around and offers Anon a seat on a beanbag.

"What brings you back to Ponyville?" Twilight asks as they sit down.

"Uh...I came back to ask for some help. Specifically, your help."

"Oh?"

"It involves a friend of mine."

Twilight's eyes grow large, and an excited smile explodes. Anon has a friendship problem. This concerns Anon, considering how Twilight got when a friendship problem arose. Her horn glows momentarily, and a clipboard and a pencil appear. She begins to write on a piece of paper. When she finishes, Twilight looks up with an expectant expression. Anon furrows his eyebrows.

"What are you doing?" Anon asks.

"Waiting for you to start," Twilight replies excitedly.

Anon shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

"Is everything okay, Anon?" Twilight asks.

"Yeah. Could we go to a more comfortable setting?"

"Sure. Where would you like to go?"

Anon motions for Twilight to follow him. She follows him out of the castle, onto the street, and to Hard Cider's Watering Hole. Twilight isn't surprised that Anon wants to go to a bar to talk. She believes it's his form of therapy.

They walk into the empty bar. Hard Cider has his back turned to them so he doesn't see Twilight and Anon walk in. He's cleaning some glasses with some distilled water. Then, he uses magic to set the drinks on a white towel. Twilight and Anon sit at the bar. Hard Cider still hasn't noticed them.

Anon decides to speak up. "Hey, barkeep. Bourbon for me. The entire fucking bottle, if you don't mind. I need something strong."

Hard Cider freezes for a moment. He turns around and sees Anon. He smiles, reaches the bar, and pulls his human friend into a big hug. Anon doesn't resist the hug and wraps his arms around his friend.

"Well, howdy, Anon!" Hard Cider greets.

"Hey there, Hard Cider."

"What are you doing here?"

"I came back to Ponyville to ask Twilight for some help."

Anon gestures toward Twilight. Hard Cider's cheeks redden with embarrassment. He gives a bow before apologizing for not acknowledging her. Twilight politely waves off the apology and says it's okay.

Then, Hard Cider offers the two of them a drink. Anon pulls out his bourbon from his backpack. Twilight orders water. The bartender uses his magic to pick up three glasses. He fills them with a couple of ice cubes. Then, he pours the bourbon into two of the three glasses. He fills the other glass with water. Once the drinks are passed out, Twilight pulls up her clipboard and pencil. Hard Cider tries to leave to give Anon and Twilight some privacy, but Anon motions for him to stay. Hard Cider sits on his bar stool.

Twilight asks Anon what's going on. He tells Twilight and Hard Cider his dilemma about joining the Royal Guard and how it might affect his friendship with Princess Celestia. He eventually admits that he doesn't know what to do. While Anon is talking, Twilight is taking notes. Hard Cider just listened to his friend talk.

When Anon finished, Twilight remained silent, thinking about what Anon had said. Eventually, she decides what to say. She takes a sip of water before speaking.

"Anon, you need to do what makes you happy," she says.

"What?" Anon questions.

"You need to do what makes you happy. I may be the Princess of Friendship, but I won't abstain from saying that friendships can hold you back from pursuing your dreams. No friendship or even a romantic relationship is worth throwing away your dreams. It's a tough decision to make. I know you prioritize others before yourself, and that's good, but you have to make decisions that benefit you."

Anon nods his head. Then, he turns his head to look at Hard Cider. He looks at Anon with surprise.

"Oh, you want my opinion?" Hard Cider asks.

"Yeah. It's one of the reasons I came here," Anon says.

"Well, I have to say I agree with Princess Twilight on this."

Anon rubs his beard, considering Twilight's advice. He sighs deeply. Nervousness begins to cause his stomach to ache and his hand to tremble. To counteract this, Anon fills his glass with bourbon and knocks it back. Three more times, Anon does this. Then, he grabs the whole bottle. Much to Twilight's surprise, he gulps down every drop. His head hangs as he slams the bottle down.

"Anon, is everything alright?" Hard Cider asks.

"No," he responds, rather gruffly, "Another."

Hard Cider hesitates but takes a bottle of his strongest bourbon off the counter behind him. He replaces Anon's glass with another one. After placing a few ice cubes in the mirror, he fills it up. Hard Cider pushes the drink over to Anon.

"Here, brother. This one is on the house," Hard Cider says softly.

"Thanks."

Twilight tries to stop Anon from drinking another, but Hard Cider raises a hoof. He shakes his head. Twilight backs off. Anon finishes the drink and sets the glass down.

"Thank you," Anon says.

"No problem," Hard Cider replies.

Anon stands up and puts ten bits on the counter. He says it's for Hard Cider's troubles. Hard Cider knows better than to argue with patrons who give him money. The two friends shake hands and hooves before they part ways. Anon puts on his backpack and leaves the bar. Twilight provides the bartender with a gentle wave. She catches up with Anon. He is walking in the direction of his old house. His head is hanging low, and his hands are in his pockets. Anon and Twilight walk in silence for a while before Anon sighs deeply. He raises his head to look at the sky.

"Thank you, Twilight, for the advice," Anon says.

"You're welcome," Twilight responds.

"I was afraid to acknowledge but needed to hear anyway."

"It wasn't easy advice to give."

"Honestly, I'd rather take the advice I need to hear rather than some advice I want to hear."

"Advice you want to hear does more harm than good."

"Yeah. Now, I have to make a decision. A tough one."

"There is no easy way around it. I wish I could help you there, but you must do that alone."

"It's the thought that counts, Twilight."

Anon stops in his tracks. He squats down to Twilight's level and looks deep into her eyes. Then, Anon pats her on the head. Twilight is frozen with confusion. She stands there until Anon waves at her while he walks away.

"You're a good pony, Twilight. Don't let assholes like me convince you otherwise," he says.

"Thank you, I guess," Twilight replies, albeit confused.

"Dinner at your place tonight, yeah?"

"Uh...sure. 7 o'clock sharp at the castle."

Anon gives Twilight a thumbs-up as he walks away. He sticks his hands in his pocket and thoughts of his decision to make fill his mind. Anon tries to push the thoughts out of his head, but nothing works. Perhaps a nap until dinner would help. So, he picks up the pace. Eventually, he makes it to his house. Anon pulls his keys out of his pocket and unlocks the door. The wooden door creaks as it opens. He walks into his old bedroom and sets his backpack down. He lays down on his bed and attempts to sleep for two hours. Frustratingly, sleep doesn't come. Anon stands up and walks into his living room. He paces back and forth, thinking about whatever comes to him. Eventually, Anon gives up and walks outside. To kill time, Anon visits some Mane 6 while in Ponyville.

The first pony Anon goes to see is Fluttershy. Though he isn't the best of friends with the quiet pegasus, he still knows her well enough that he should visit her. The animals accept Anon's arrival well, except Angel Bunny. Never in his life would Anon think that he'd have hatred toward a rabbit. When Anon is allowed into the cottage, Angel starts squeaking at Fluttershy. Anon doesn't understand what the rabbit is saying, but he can take a good guess. Fluttershy, on the other hoof, does understand. Her eyes widen as the rabbit squeaks.

"Angel Bunny. That is rude to say to Anonymous," Fluttershy snaps.

The rabbit squeaks again, crosses its arms, and sticks its tongue out at Anon. Fluttershy condemns Angel for his comment.

"Fuck you, too, asshole," Anon says.

Fluttershy looks at Anon with surprise.

"How'd you know what he said."

"I assumed it would be something he'd say."

For forty-five minutes, Anon and Fluttershy drink tea and chat. Before Anon leaves, he gives the demon rabbit the finger after saying goodbye to Fluttershy. Anon begins to walk in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres.

Anon goes into a slight jog to cover more ground. Within five minutes, he arrives on the farm. The Apple family's dog, Winona, smells Anon before she sees him. When the Anon comes into view, the border collie begins barking happily and leaping up and down. As Anon jogs on the property, Winona almost knocks him down. Granny Smith greets Anon at the door of the house. The rest of Apple is in the dining room, eating apple pie. They are happy to see Anon and offer him a slice. Anon happily obliges and takes the piece of the pie. He chats with them for an hour. He eventually leaves Sweet Apple Acres to see Pinkie Pie and Rarity.

Pinkie almost knocks Anon down when he walks into Sugar Cube Corner. Rarity, on the other hoof, is more elegant than that. What surprises Anon is that Rarity doesn't submit any marefriend applications. Sweetie Belle tries to tease Rarity about Anon being there, but her old sister ignores her. She remains polite and reserved. When Anon leaves the Carousel Boutique, it's close to 7 o'clock. He makes his way to the Friendship Castle.

Much to his surprise, he arrives on time. Spike, Starlight Glimmer, and Twilight are seated around the table. Dinner is chunky potato soup. There is cheese, sour cream, and chives on the table. Anon is somewhat disappointed that Twilight didn't serve any alcohol, but he hasn't complained since she made the meal.

At around nine-thirty, Anon decides to go home and get some rest. He says goodbye to Twilight and her companions. Then, he hasn't thought about the decision he has to make for hours. However, he realizes there is no avoiding it now. So, he puts his mind to it.

Being a soldier is all Anon has wanted to be since he was a kid. It was his parents who ruined his chances. Now, he has the opportunity since his parents aren't around. Joining the Royal Guard would fulfill this lifelong dream. Losing Princess Celestia as his best friend makes him sick to his stomach. Twilight's advice also comes to mind. As much as he hates to admit it, he knows she's right. He needs to do what will make him happy. That being said, neither choice ends with Anon being entirely happy. Anon snorts in frustration. He is still no closer to deciding than he was yesterday. Anon sighs as he watches the ponies walk home from closing their shops, going to restaurants, or going to the bar. The evening is so...peaceful. The stars twinkle in the cloudless night, and the moon illuminates the dimly lit streets. These are the kinds of nights that Anon likes.

In one of the nearby houses, Anon sees a stallion tucking their two toddlers into their beds. The father, a green-bodied unicorn, opens a book and begins to read to his kids. This is what Anon strives to protect. Millions of families across Equestria like this one can sleep soundly at night because of stallions and mares who give their lives to protect them. It is their duty and calling. Then, at this moment, Anon knows precisely what he will do. He takes a look up at the Equestrian capital city.

"Now, step two," Anon sighs.

The next day, Anon arrives once again in Canterlot. He makes his way to the castle and his bedroom. After removing his dirty clothes and toiletries from his pack, he puts his backpack by his bed. Anon decides to nap before talking to Princess Celestia about his decision. Surprisingly, Anon sleeps for a couple of hours.

When Anon wakes up, he mentally prepares himself for what he's about to do. He takes a deep breath to calm his nerves and rolls his shoulders. Soon, he leaves his room to go to Princess Celestia's private study.

As usual, two Royal Guards stand at attention next to the door. However, the two guards aren't the usual ones. When Anon approaches, the guards cross their spears before the door. Their faces remain firm and strict.

"'Sup, fellas. I need to see Princess Celestia," Anon says.

"Do you have an appointment?" the guard on the right asks.

"Nope. I didn't think I needed one."

"Then, you can't see the princess," the guard on the left says.

"Would it make a difference if I said this is an emergency?"

The guard shakes his head—Anon grunts in annoyance.

"Hey, Princess Celestia! Tell your guards to let me in! I need to talk to you!" Anon shouts.

Both of the guards instantly point their spears at Anon. He backs up with his hands raised in the air. The guards have angry scowls on their faces. They begin threatening Anon until the door opens. Princess Celestia has a shocked expression on her face. When she makes eye contact with Anon, she realizes what is happening.

"Guards! What is the meaning of this?" she asks loudly.

"Your Highness, this creature doesn't seem to know what 'no appointment, no meeting' means," one of the guards replies.

Celestia sighs. "Guards, Anonymous is one of my close friends. If he wants, he can see me without an appointment."

"With all due respect, ma'am, but since when did you start giving out special favors."

"When I started letting my closest friends visit centuries ago, Private Stone Cutter. Now, both of you stand down. For the record, Anonymous only comes to see me when he has something urgent. Please, Anonymous, come in."

The guards return to standing attention as Anon walks inside the study. He closes the door behind him as Princess Celestia sits back in her chair.

"Anon, please accept my sincere apologies. As you can tell, these two guards are fresh to this job," Princess Celestia apologizes.

"It's fine, Tia. They were doing their job," Anon replies.

Celestia offers Anon a seat across from her. He takes a seat. Princess Celestia uses her magic to serve Anon and herself some herbal tea. Anon raises an eyebrow as he sniffs the tea. He has never drunk a tea of this kind before, even though he has lived in Equestria for over a year. He takes a sip of the hot tea and enjoys it a little.

"How was your visit to Ponyville?" Princess Celestia asks.

"It was good to be back. It was nice to see everyone," Anon replies.

"I'm glad that you enjoyed yourself. You needed a break from your job."

"Yeah."

Anon's index finger rapidly taps the side of the cup. His right leg shakes, and a few droplets of sweat form on Anon's forehead. Celestia notices this. Something makes Anon nervous, which rarely happens, and he wants to say something. Princess Celestia sets her cup down and looks at Anon with concern.

"Is everything okay, Anon?" she asks.

"Yeah. It's just...I have something to tell you. It's important," Anon forces out. His voice is shaky with nervousness.

"What is it?"

Anon stands up and begins to pace back and forth. After a few minutes, he takes a deep breath and turns toward Celestia.

"I need to resign as a handyman," Anon announces.

"A resignation? Wha...what for?"

"The reason I went to Ponyville was to do some soul searching. I had needed to decide whether to...enlist in the Royal Guard or not."

Princess Celestia is in shock. Her eyes widen with surprise.

"Is there a problem?" Anon asks.

The thought of Anon becoming a soldier scares Celestia. Not because of her feelings toward him but because of what could happen to him. 800 Lunar, 1400 Solar, and 300 Royal Guards were killed when Queen Chrysalis and the changelings invaded Canterlot. In total, 2500 died that day. Thousands more died during the war with King Sombra a thousand years ago. The thought of Anon being laid to rest, alongside the countless stallions and mares who gave their lives for Equestria, makes Celestia sick to her stomach. She can't bear the thought of going to Anon's funeral.

"I can't let you enlist, Anon," Princess Celesta says.

Anon furrows his eyebrows and crosses his arms.

"Why not?" Anon asks.

"You just can't."

"Give me a better excuse than that, Tia."

"I can't let you enlist. I can't bear the thought of losing you in a battle."

"Really? What's your excuse? I believe it's my right to enlist if I want to."

"True, yet you live comfortably as a handyman. You have complete freedom in terms of taking jobs and holidays. After joining the Royal Guard, you won't be able to do so. Please, Anonymous, reconsider your decision."

"Tia, it's not going to happen. I've made up my mind already. I've always wanted to be a soldier since I was a child. Also, why am I the only one you're trying to keep from joining the army? I don't see you blocking ponies from enlisting in front of the recruiting office, and I know you care about your people just as much as you care about me."

"There's more to it than that, Anon."

"Somehow, I don't believe that. I know you are concerned, but it's what I want to do."

"Why? You never brought up enlisting into the Royal Guard until now."

"Because it's my duty."

"No, it's not."

Anon angrily slams his first down on the table. The tea set shakes. Princess Celestia backs up with fright in her eyes. She has never seen Anon this angry.

"YES, IT IS! EVERYONE HAS TO DEFEND THEIR COUNTRY! IT'S THEIR DUTY! EVEN THOUGH EQUESTRIA ISN'T MY HOME COUNTRY, IT'S STILL MY HOME! WHERE I COME FROM, IT'S AN HONOR TO SERVE YOUR COUNTRY, AND IT'S AN HONOR TO DIE FOR IT! THERE ARE LIVELIHOODS AND FAMILIES IN EQUESTRIA I VOWED AND WANT TO PROTECT! IF THAT'S NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON FOR YOU, YOU NEED TO GET OVER IT!" Anon screamed.

Celestia has no response. The only thing she can do is sit there, slack-jawed. Anon, however, backs up and reaches into his backpack. He slides a handwritten letter onto Princess Celestia's desk. It is the letter of resignation. At the very bottom was Anon's signature.

When Princess Celestia looked up, Anon was standing at the door. He stands there momentarily before turning his head around one last time.

"I'll...see you around, Princess Celestia," he says.

Anon opens the door and closes it behind him. He doesn't even look at the guards who shoot him dirty looks for screaming at Princess Celestia. He walks a short distance before he stops in his tracks. He turns his head a little and growls, not at Celestia but at himself. What went down in her office wasn't how Anon intended it to be.

"Way to fucking go, Anonymous. Way to fucking go," Anon growls to himself.

That evening, Anon doesn't go to dinner with the princess. He goes Flasks and Mugs, eats a meal, and drinks a ton of bourbon. He chats with the off-duty guards to take his mind off what happened earlier. When he mentions joining the Royal Guard, they go berserk with excitement. Most of them offered to pay for Anon's meal and drink tab. Lucky Charms manages to get about half the bar to accompany Anon to the recruiting office. About twenty guards lead Anon down the street.

In one of the many terraces on Canterlot Castle, Princess Celestia watches the small group through a telescope. Anon is easy to spot out of a group of off-duty guards. She steps away from the telescope and sits on her bed. She levitates Anon's resignation. Tears begin to fall from her face as she rereads it. She begins to cry. Princess Celestia doesn't pretty-cry. She sobs loudly. Celestia blames herself for letting her emotions get in the way of her friendship with Anon and possibly something more than a friendship. A good friend would have supported his decision to serve in the Royal Guard.

It isn't long before Princess Luna and a squad of Lunar Guards arrive at Princess Celestia's chambers. The squad of Lunar Guards is ordered to stand outside to ensure they aren't disturbed. Luna spends the next three hours consoling her sister.

At the recruiting office, Anon is awaiting his aptitude test results. Anon had passed the physical fitness test. The recruiter even stays behind to let Anon take a two-hour extended aptitude test called the Equestrian Armed Forces Vocational Aptitude Test. The difficulty comes back with a 64 aptitude score. The test's passing aptitude score is 30, so Anon passed with flying colors. The score qualified Anon for Officers' Candidate School, which he planned on taking after basic training. Anon is given a four-year contract and signs his name at the bottom of the page. The office erupts into cheers. However, Anon has his mind on other things. His mind is on Princess Celestia and how he treated her. Sadness fills him, but there's no going back now. He cracks a fake smile and cheers anyway.

Anon receives his boot camp date and a list of what he needs to bring to boot camp. The small group returns to the bar, and Lucky Charms offers to buy everyone's drink—the first round. For the next few hours, they drink a lot of alcohol and enjoy themselves, but Anon mourns the loss of his friendship with Princess Celestia.

The Struggle is Real

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Chapter 10

Royal Guard Cadet Anonymous stands at attention in the front row of a company front. His body is rigid. He stares straight ahead. The mare next to him reaches to scratch her nose. Anon grunts to get the mare's attention.

"Don't you dare fucking move a muscle. I'm not running extra laps because of you," Anon orders through gritted teeth.

"Sorry, Anon," the mare named Silver Lining apologizes as she puts her hoof down.

"Don't let it happen again."

The drill sergeant, Sergeant Daisy Petal, and two other officers walk onto the training grounds within a few moments. Sergeant Daisy Petal is a female unicorn whose deep, gruff voice makes Anon shutter. When the sergeant approached, Anon straightened up a little more. Anon is nervous when the drill sergeant stands directly in front of him.

Ever since Day One of boot camp, Anon had stood out. First, he didn't receive the same equipment as the other ponies. He wore a dark-brown tunic that had been tailored to his body size. Anon knew that Princess Celestia probably had to do something with it. His physical appearance didn't help, either. Being over two feet taller than most of the other cadets made him stick out like a sore thumb. The real problem was his physical abilities. Anon can outrun and outlift all of the cadets in physical fitness. Surprisingly, this didn't make him many enemies. Most ponies respected him, and so did the officers. When ponies would struggle, Anon would go out of his way to help them, even if it was simple physical fitness.

"Good morning, cadets!" Sergeant Daisy Petal shouts.

"Good morning, Sergeant!" the cadets respond.

"Congratulations, cadets! You've made it past the first six weeks of basic training! Now, you have seven more weeks of combat training! Today, you will be receiving your practice armor and your weapons! This equipment is yours for the rest of your training! Take care of it! Now, each of you will line up by your corresponding pony species! MOVE IT!!"

Anon remained at attention as the others moved into three separate blocks. Two unicorn Royal Guards carried six large boxes in their magic. They set their two boxes in front of each group except for Anon. The guards begin handing out spears and swords. One of the guards gave Anon a set of weapons. However, they were the standard pony-size weapons. The spear is five feet long, and the sword is 16 inches long. Anon frowned at the equipment. Sergeant Daisy Petal notices this and walks over to him.

"Something wrong with your equipment, Cadet Anonymous?" Daisy Petal asks.

"Yes, Sergeant. These weapons are...too small for me," Anon replies.

Daisy Petal looks at Anon's weapons. He is right. They are too small. She curses herself for not realizing this sooner. Also, Anon didn't even have any custom armor for him. She snorts in frustration. Daisy Petal isn't usually the one to forget stuff. She takes the weapons from Anon and returns them to one of her subordinates.

"Follow me, Cadet Anonymous," Daisy Petal orders.

Anon follows Daisy Petal, and she leads him into the castle.

"Where are we going, Sergeant," Anon asks.

"We will see Magnus, the EAF's head armorer."

"I've never heard of him."

"That doesn't surprise me. He's one of those unsung hero types. He works behind the scenes and doesn't like a ton of recognition. You are one of the few who get to meet him."

They walk to the lower levels of the castle. The halls aren't lit by natural sunlight but with oil lamps and torches. These halls remind Anon of the hallways of a castle in The Hobbit. As they walk farther down the hall, the sound of clanging metal echoing through the walls gets louder. The temperature begins to rise, as well. Eventually, Anon and Daisy Petal arrive in a large room.

The room glows a bright orange-red from the fires and molten metal. Several anvils lay about, along with racks of Royal, Solar, and Lunar guard armor, weapons, and tools. What surprises Anon is that the armorers are not ponies but giant minotaurs. Each of the minotaurs is over six and a half feet. Some bang away at weapons and armor. Some pour molten metal into the molds. They wear leather aprons and armored shoulder pauldron. Anon is astonished at the sheer size of the bipedal cows.

"Which one is this Magnus guy," Anon asks.

Daisy Petal points her hoof at the bull, hammering away at a sword. This minotaur is taller than the rest. Magnus is seven feet tall and far more muscular than the rest. His biceps make Anon's biceps look like twigs. His entire body makes Anon look like a small child compared to a small child.

"Magnus Björnsson!" Daisy Petal shouts.

The minotaur turns around and looks down at the two.

"Oh, Sergeant. Thought I recognized your voice," Magnus says.

To Anon, the minotaur sounds like a Viking's voice. Gruff has a heavy accent.

"I need to talk to you," she announces.

"Okay, let's go to my office to talk."

Magnus sets down his massive hammer and leather apron on an anvil. He points at a door at the back of the room as Anon and Daisy Petal walk to the office. Magnus then shouts an order at the other minotaurs.

"Fortsett å jobbe, svette. Jeg kommer straks tilbake!" (Keep working, you sweaty bastards. I will be right back!) he yells.

Anon recognizes the language and looks down at Daisy Petal.

"I didn't know that minotaurs were Vikings," Anon says.

"It's a commonly known fact, Cadet Anonymous."

"I'm still studying all I can about Equestria, Sergeant. I haven't even begun studying the other countries."

"Not my problem."

The pair walk into the dimly lit office. Magnus walks in behind them. He sits behind the desk and crosses his massive arms.

"So, what can I do for you?" Magnus asks.

"Anonymous, here, is a Royal Guard cadet but has no armor. Not only that, the weapons are way too small for him. He needs gear fashioned specifically for him."

Magnus looks at Anon curiously. He rubs his chin and thinks for a few moments.

"I can create some armor and weapons for him. It will take me a few days. Five days at most. I'll need to measure him, though."

"By all means, go ahead."

Magnus continues rubbing his chin.

"I'm willing to bet you can't train him either."

Anon goes still when he hears Magnus's statement. He looks at Daisy Petal with a raised eyebrow.

"You'd be right. Commander Iron Head talked to me about it and decided that you should instruct him. You are the only bipedal on staff that has combat training and experience.

"I'll train him for a pay raise and more workers to work under me."

Daisy Petal snorts.

"I'll see what I can do."

"Perfect."

Daisy Petal stands up and looks at Anon. "Be back in time for dinner at the mess hall, or you'll run laps until I get tired of it."

"Yes, ma'am," Anon says.

Daisy Petal leaves Anon with the towering minotaur. Magnus stands up and grabs a tape measure from the table behind him. He motions for Anon to stand up. Once he is on his feet, Magnus begins measuring Anon's chest.

"So, Cadet Anonymous, what exactly are you? I've never seen your species before," he asks as he measures the length of Anon's chest.

"A human, sir. My species is from a different dimension," Anon responds.

"Figures. It seems like the ponies are always dealing with a dimension problem."

Magnus continues measuring Anon. As he estimates, he writes them down on a notepad. Then, he begins to draw the armor. Anon sits back down in the chair. He twiddles his thumbs silently.

"May I make a suggestion?" Anon asks, eventually.

Magnus sits up. "Sure."

"Wouldn't it be a good idea for me to have a shield or something like that," Anon explains.

"Yes, it would. Ponies are smaller, making them harder to hit with an arrow, a throwing knife, or strike with a sword. Unicorns can cast a shield spell and protect several divisions, protecting you in the process. Individually, it would require a unicorn at your side at all times. You will notice that the bipedal creatures will carry a shield. Besides, it isn't convenient for ponies to carry them. Since we are bigger creatures, we need shield protection."

"That makes sense."

"I'll make some wrist guards and shin guards for extra protection. Other than that, the armor will be similar to that of the Royal Guards. To become a commissioned officer, you must get a purple marking on your armor and a different plume. That's a big if. Officers Candidate School is only offered to the top three of each class. Graduating is difficult, too. Twelve weeks of classwork."

"I'm up for the challenge. Both training under you in combat and OCS."

Magnus snorts. "You say that now."

Anon swallows hard out of nervousness.

Later that night, Anon sits in the mess hall with a few friends. Tonight, roast beef, salad, and water is his meal. Everyone else has a variant of a salad. For example, one of his friends, Glass Pane, has a rose petal salad. The smell of meat bothers Anon's equine friends, primarily because they are herbivores.

"How can you eat another living creature?" Lumber Stacks asks.

"I've explained it before. A balanced diet and all."

"I know. It's just...strange."

Anon shrugs his shoulders and puts some roast beef in his mouth. A few moments later, a pegasus mare named Starry Evening sits beside Anon. She eats a little of her salad. Then, she taps him on the shoulder.

"Hey, Anon. Where did you go with Sarge this afternoon?"

"I've been wondering about wondering about that," another stallion at the table says.

Anon feels 12 big eyes bear down on him. He jabs his fork into his salad and puts the left mixture in his mouth. He drinks some water before he speaks.

"Sergeant Daisy Petal didn't have any armor or weapons for me. We went to the armorer to get me measured. I'm to be trained separately from everyone else. I don't think training a bipedal with some quadrupeds makes sense."

"So, we won't see you again?" an earth pony stallion named Coal Miner asked.

"Aside from meals, I don't know. I wouldn't worry about it, though."

"I hope so because you owe me a fucking beer," Lumber Stack says.

"Do not. The bet wasn't a real bet. You purposefully altered that outcome."

"Of what?"

Lumber Stack grins playfully.

"Does intentionally keeping Blue Sky up all night so that he'd fall asleep during marching fundamentals count as altering an outcome."

Anon and the group laugh. Lumber Stack rolls his eyes. They sit around for the next hour. By that time, it is forty-five minutes until the lights are out. The drill sergeants were very strict about lights out. Anon grabs his soap, rag, towel, and nightly clothes and goes to the shower.

He showers in a stall that is too small for him. Anon's head almost hits the showerhead, and his body, from the shoulders up, could be seen above the shower curtain. Once he finishes his shower, Anon walks to his bunk. Since Anon is three times the size of the average pony, the bunk isn't very big. To fit, Anon had to either curl up in a fetal position or bring his knees to his chest. Most mornings, Anon has an aching back.

Eventually, all of the cadets were in their bunks. The mares slept on the second floor, while the stallions slept on the first. However, that didn't stop some cadets from using the showers as rutting stalls. The drill sergeants never found out about it, but it bothered Anon. It was mainly because thirty minutes of sleep was gone, but tonight, it is silent, save for some snores. It isn't long before Anon drifts off to sleep.

The following day, the walk-up call comes. However, Anon's eternal alarm clock woke him up ten minutes earlier. When the call came, Anon was fully awake. He quickly removes his sleeping clothes and puts on his tunic. He slips on his sandals and runs outside. Anon is the first in information. Within two minutes, 300 cadets are in formation. Well, 300 of the 550 that started six weeks ago.

As usual, Sergeant Daisy Petal and the other two sergeants walk up a few moments later. What surprises Anon is that Magnus is walking behind them. The air gets tense when the other cadets notice him. Despite the arrival of the minotaur, none of the cadets dare say a word, much less whisper to the pony next to them.

"Good morning, cadets!" Sergeant Daisy Petal shouts.

"Good morning, Sergeant," the cadets answer.

"All of you worthless fuckshits, separate into your species. Cadet Anonymous, you will go with Magnus Björnsson. But first, drop and give me fifty. MOVE IT, YOU CUM GUZZLING, BACK ALLEY WHORES!!"

Simultaneously, every cadet gets into the push-up position. In under a minute, all fifty push-ups are knocked out. Some ponies pant heavily, but the rest were barely sweating. Then, the cadets are ordered to run two miles. As usual, Anon is in front of the thundering herd of Royal Guard cadets. Once the run is finished, more than half are bending over and breathing heavily. Anon, however, puts his arms over his head and controls his breathing. Then, he turns around and begins checking on the cadets.

"Natural leader type, huh?" Magnus asks.

"Yeah. From my understanding, everypony respects him," Daisy Petal replies.

"OCS might be a good option for him. It seems being an officer is in his nature."

"I've already recommended him. Colonel Iron Shaft has been keeping a close eye on him."

Daisy Petal points to a balcony about three above them. An armored earth pony stallion is looking down at the cadets. Next to him is Princess Celestia. They speak to each other as they watch the cadets form into separate species. Anon stands at attention by himself. Once all of the cadets are in formation. The sergeants, including Daisy Petal, walk over to each group. Anon follows Magnus from the training grounds.

Magnus leads Anon to the Lunar Guard's training ground. The Lunar Guards train in the evening and at night, so their training grounds are empty. Magnus leads Anon to a leather pad that is lying on the ground. A spear, sheath, baldric, and large, circular shield are on the pad.

"The shield is made of Equestrian steel. It's so strong that arrows bounce off of it. It weighs about 18 pounds. I figured that was a good weight for you. The blade and spearhead are made of the same metal. With your training, you might not have armor yet, but it won't hurt to get started," Magnus explains.

Anon picks up the shield. It has a giant sun covering 2/3 of it. It is the Celestial seal. He slides it on his arm, and, as expected, the shield weighs his arm down. Anon rolls his shoulder to get used to its weight. Then, he removes the shield and picks up the spear.

The spear is about seven feet tall. The shaft is made of wood. At the top is a leaf-shaped spearhead. There is a butt-spike at the bottom. The shaft is smoothed down and sturdy. Anon sets the spear down and picks up the sword and sheath.

The sword is almost a replica of the Greek xiphos. The blade is 24 inches long, and the hilt is five inches long. The handle was made of a golden-colored metal. A blue-colored leather grip is wrapped around the hilt. The silver-like blade glistens in the sun. Anon gives the sword a few good swings before he examines the sheath. It's made of blue leather and wood. A baldric is attached to it, as well. It, too, is made of leather. Anon slides the sword into the sheath and lays it back on the pad.

"Thank you, Magnus. These are very nice," Anon said. Thanks.

"You're welcome. The baldric strap is an old minotaur style. However, our swords are carried on our backs. Yours needs to be on your hip. Now, put on your gear," Magnus replies.

Anon clumsily puts on the baldric strap. Then, he puts on his shield. Magnus teaches Anon how to stand in a combat stance and how to hold his spear. Then, Anon is told to thrust his spear forward. Anon follows the order. Magnus frowns at his protogé.

"Keep your arm still. It's shaking," Magnus snaps. "Thrust again."

Anon follows suit and tries again. Still, his arm shakes. For the next thirty minutes, Anon perfects his thrusting technique. Eventually, he's about to thrust his spear quickly without shaking his arm.

Next, Magnus begins teaching Anon combat moves using the spear and shield. Surprisingly, Anon learns the moves quickly. Albeit, the movements are sloppy and slow. Progress is all Magnus cares about at this point. What impressed Magnus was Anon's determination to become a Royal Guard and his strength.

After lunch, Anon is taught combat with a sword. This type of combat Anon excels at. The slashes, thrusts, and strikes are done to near perfection. However, they are more or less knife-based. Magnus finds out that Anon has learned some knife-fighting techniques. Though unconventional and a setback, Magnus and Anon create a new technique by combining both styles, they knew over the next few days.

Five days later, Anon receives his first set of armor. The armor is only made to be used temporarily. However, it loosely resembled Spartan. The helmet even looks like the Spartan helmet. However, the helmet obscures Anon's vision. It doesn't allow him to use his peripheral vision. His vision is restricted to what's in front of him. However, Anon knew that most Greek helmets hindered any use of peripheral vision. The real challenge begins when Anon wears his armor during combat training.

The armor reduces his maneuverability. The movements that he could do before don't come as quickly. This frustrates him. Every day, Anon thinks he's falling behind. After training each day, Anon trains more to get used to his armor and regain his maneuverability. There were some nights when he missed dinner. Slowly but surely, Anon regains the skill he once had. The armor becomes lighter, and his weapons become more lightweight, too. Once that happens, Magnus begins teaching Anon to use his shield as a blunt-force weapon.

By Week 6 of combat training, Anon surpasses Magnus's expectations. He can fight hand-to-hand with a sword, spear, and shield and block arrows with his shield. Word of his accomplishments eventually reached the commanding officers of the Royal Guards.

A Royal Guard general named General Battle Cry becomes very interested in Anon's training. One day, he decides to meet Anon in person. He goes to the Lunar Guards' training grounds with two colonels and another general. As he expected, the human trains Anon's movements to be fluid and quick. What interests Battle Cry is that the human keeps up with a minotaur. Then, Anon spins around and hurls a spear at a straw dummy of a griffin. The spear hits the dummy directly in its chest. As quickly as Anon had thrown his spear, he drew his sword. What piques the general's interest is that the minotaur draws his sword, and the two advance toward each other. General Battle Cry calls out to the two. They stop to turn to face the general. Anon realizes who it is and snaps to attention. He throws up his arm to salute Battle Cry.

"At ease, cadet," he orders.

Anon drops his arm and relaxes his body.

"Good afternoon, General," Anon says.

Battle Cry waves his hoof dismissively. "You can dispense with the professionalism, Anonymous. I want to speak to you, stallion to stallion."

"Stallion to man, sir."

"Oh, forgive me. I'm not familiar with your species."

"That's fair. What can I help you with, General?"

"Ever since you began your training, some of the other generals took an interest in your training. Mainly because it's the second time a non-pony has joined the Equestrian Armed Forces."

"When was the first time?"

"It was during the reign of King Cosmos and Queen Galaxia. A hippogriff named Apollo from the Hippogriff Kingdom immigrated to Cloudsdale. Much like you, he had a sense of duty. He had to defend a nation that wasn't even his own. He was allowed to serve in the Lunar Guard. During the Equestrian-Minotauran War, he was promoted to 2nd Lieutenant. He had gained the favor and admiration of every general in the EAF and King Cosmos. Some say that Queen Galaxia had eyes for him, but that was only a rumor. However, in the last battle against the minotaurs, 2nd Lieutenant Apollo was killed, saving King Cosmos's life."

"Wow. That's a tragic story."

"Yeah. Unfortunately, grief consumed King Cosmos, and he even attempted suicide. Queen Galaxia spent the next century consoling her husband."

"How'd you know about this story, sir."

"It was a story passed on by the officers of the time. Queen Galaxia tried to apply 2nd Lieutenant Apollo for the Medal of Valor, but those self-indulgent we call nobles prohibited it. They didn't like the idea of a non-pony receiving the Medal of Valor. So, 2nd Lieutenant Apollo's story is passed down by word of mouth. Anyway, you have the support of many of the commissioned officers and a few of the Generals of the EAF. Seeing you train fires us up."

"I appreciate that, sir. It means a lot to have people supporting me. Especially the generals."

"No problem, Anonymous. I've heard you have a good heart and are a respectable stall...human. You've even earned the respect and support of all four princesses."

"Really? All four?"

"As far as I heard. As much as I'd like to talk to you more, I must return to my duties."

"Thank you for stopping by, General."

"Pleasure's all mine, Anonymous. See you at graduation on Saturday."

General Battle Cry turns around and walks away. Anon is surprised that Battle Cry believes that Anon will pass his final tests. His newfound confidence made his worries about the upcoming final tests obsolete. He trains late into the night the Magnus. When Anon arrives at the barracks, his fellow cadets are already asleep. Anon quietly takes a shower before slipping into his bed. Due to his tired state, he falls asleep.

Two days later, the day of the final tests arrived. Like the first six weeks, he lined up in formation with his fellow cadets. Anon notices that some of the cadets are showing signs of nervousness. It didn't help that several commissioned officers walked up—all generals or colonels. Magnus Björnsson leans against the wall. He gives Anon a slight wave. In return, Anon does nothing. The slightest movement will get points taken from his final score.

Each cadet has to score at least 70 points to pass. The most a person can achieve is a perfect score of 100 points. The push-up test is worth 20 points. The sit-up test is worth 15 points. The two-mile run test is worth 25 points. The combat obstacle course is worth 40 points. The cadets must complete the task within the time limit to receive all the points. Cadets will lose points, like moving at attention, if they make errors. The tests are to be completed in full armor, as well.

When the first test was announced, Anon could hear a few cadets quietly exhale in frustration. No one, including Anon, likes the running portion. When Anon runs, his stab aches. This would cause him to slow down.

All of the cadets walked over to the starting line to warm up. Nervousness creeps through the mass of cadets. How they performed on these exams determined the course of their future. Some cadets are so nervous that they want to quit for fear of failure. Anon tries to console them before Sergeant Daisy Petal orders them to line up. It is easier said than done. As usual, Anon lines up at the front of the group. He gets into a running stance and focuses on the running path.

"Alright, cadets! On your marks! Get set! GO!!!" Daisy Petal orders.

The cadets charge forward, with Anon leading the pack. That surprises some of the officers and Magnus. The minotaur walks up behind Sergeant Daisy Petal to stand next to her.

"Hey, Sarge. Anon is leading the pack, which is unusual."

"I noticed that. He usually paces himself and remains in the upper quarter of the group. By the last half-mile, he is either between fifth and first place. Toward the end, he finishes first. Now, he seems to be pushing himself rather than pacing himself."

"He's a tough bastard, that's for sure. He reminds me a lot of my brother, Fenrir. He did whatever the hell it took to win Father's favor. It took him a while, but he succeeded. I wonder how he's doing."

"Did you ever consider writing him a letter?"

"Yeah, right, Sarge. My father would only tear up the letter, burn it, and take a piss."

"What did you do to piss off your dad so bad?"

"It's a long story."

"Give me the text version, then, Magnus."

"I wouldn't marry a cow from a different clan. It was an arranged marriage so my clan could maintain peace with hers. However, she was a bitch to my brother and mother behind my father's back. When I refused to marry her, it nearly caused a war between our clans. As punishment, Father banished me from the clan."

"Assholes."

"Yeah."

Anon is the first to cross the finish line a few minutes later. Daisy Petal looks at her stopwatch. He finishes in 10 minutes and 17 seconds. She calls out Anon's name and time to her fellow sergeants. She does this for every cadet until the 12-minute-30-second mark. Daisy Petal writes down the cadets who failed the test but not their times. Fifty-five cadets didn't pass the 2-mile run. Ninety-five cadets had passed.

Once the names are recorded, the cadets are ordered to reassemble in company front formation. What makes it worse is that they are called to stand at attention. Every cadet tries to remain still. Most shake with exhaustion and nervousness. Even Anon has some trouble standing at attention. He cursed Sergeant Daisy Petal when she didn't allow them to rest long enough. Three minutes wasn't long enough to rest.

Then, the cadets are ordered to get into a push-up position. They hold the position until Royal Guards, most of whom are privates, stand before every cadet. The guards are to count how many the cadets do in one minute. The minimum amount is 40 push-ups. Daisy Petal orders the cadets to get into the push-up position. Once all the cadets are ready, she barks the order to start.

Anon begins to pump his body up and down. He hears the guard counting under her breath. Then, a sharp pain shoots through his lower chest. Anon winces in pain and pauses for a moment after resting. He pushes through the pain and keeps doing push-ups. After what seems like an eternity, Daisy Petal calls time. Anon lets his arms give way. He lands face down on the grass and continues to breathe heavily. Anon lies there as he listens for the guard to call out how many push-ups he has done. He had lost count after twenty-something.

"Corporal Prickly Thistle! Name of your cadet and the total number of push-ups he completed!" Sergeant Daisy Petal shouts.

"Cadet Anonymous. His total was 62."

Anon hears whispers among the cadets. He doesn't understand why until he closely observes the other's scores. He hears numbers like 39, 42, 46, and 51. His scores are so high because of his strength and speed advantages over the ponies. Anon feels as if the test may appear easy for him to his superiors. That doesn't matter now. Anon had already shown extreme promise and potential throughout his training, so he had no choice but to meet the unspoken expectations.

Then, Sergeant Daisy Petal orders the cadets to lie on their backs. Each cadet must do at least 50 sit-ups in under a minute to pass the sit-up exam. Anon lays on his back and places his hands behind his head. Moments later, Daisy Petal barks the order to start. Anon begins lifting his torso off the ground and to his knees. Like before, his stab begins shooting, searing pain through his chest. When he stops to rest, his rest is longer due to the pain. Eventually, the end of the test is called. The guard looks at Anon with a concerned look. She attempts to get Sergeant Daisy Petal's attention, but Anonymous stops her.

"Please, don't say anything. A Royal Guard mustn't show weakness."

"Yeah, that's in battle, dumbass. You're injured."

"It was a stab wound from a while back. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, damn it."

The guard shakes her head in irritation. When it's the guard's turn to call out the number of his sit-ups, she pauses for a moment and then tells. Anon's sit-up total. Albeit a little hesitantly.

This time, Daisy Petal allowed the cadets seven minutes of rest time. However, they must use that time to retrieve their combat gear for the combat obstacle course. Anon and some cadet take their time while others take off running. He grabs his combat gear and returns to the training grounds.

When the seven minutes are up, the cadets are led to a large arena below the training grounds. Rows and rows of bleachers are set up around the oval-shaped arena. A large pressbox is situated at the top of the stands. The stadium is enormous. According to the sergeant, the stadium is 1.5 kilometers long and 1.5 kilometers wide. The closest to the press box is the obstacle course. The obstacle has two rows so that two cadets can go at once. Some of the cadets gulp out of nervousness. Anon smirks in interest. It makes sense to test their endurance further in some combat scenarios.

Daisy Petal orders the cadets to divide evenly into two lines. Once the order is completed, she stands in front of the cadets.

"Alright, you miserable fucks. This is your final test. This test is by far the most challenging and exciting. This, you societal rejects, is the combat obstacle course exam. To pass this exam, you must reach the end in four minutes. Two cadets will go at the same time. However, you are not racing against each other. In reality, you are racing against time itself. That said, if you think racing will make you run faster, that's fine. You will be graded if you finish before the time limit and how you perform during the exam. Now, the first two victims, step forward."

For a moment, no one steps forward. Daisy Petal is about to "voluntell" two cadets when Anon and a cadet named Paper Maché step forward. She finds the cadets to be opposites of each other. Anon is one of the best cadets the Royal Guard has ever seen. If he were a pony, he'd be considered the perfect soldier. Paper Maché is not the best by any means. Though, he isn't the worst cadet. By Daisy Petal's standards, Paper Maché is mediocre compared to the rest of the group.

Anon walks up to the starting line. He can feel his arms begin to get heavy with nervousness. He takes deep breaths to calm himself. However, something catches his eye. It is something white and significant. Anon turns his head to see what it is. His breath is nearly taken away. It is Princess Celestia. There is only one reason why she'd be at the arena. It is to watch Anon's last test. She lands near the press box and sits down.

"Okay, you two! Are you ready?!" Daisy Petal asks.

Paper Maché and Anon nod their heads.

"On your marks! Get set! GO!!!"

Both cadets rush forward. The first obstacle is jumping over six four-foot low walls. Both cadets found this obstacle difficult. Anon has to vault over the walls. The next is a series of staggered stepping blocks that are two feet tall. Anon doesn't have much trouble with this obstacle. Being a bipedal create, hopping on twelve tilted blocks makes it easy. After another twenty-yard sprint, Anon has to crossover an 8-foot apex ladder. Once again, carrying a spear made climbing difficult. Instead of climbing down the other side, Anon leaps to the ground and performs a forward barrel roll. Then, the next obstacle is a six-foot-tall balancing bridge. The bridge has forty-foot wooden beams connected that are three inches wide. This obstacle, however, has eight pegasi Royal Guards flying overhead. When Anon runs up the shaft, they begin throwing large rocks at Anon as hard as possible. He immediately raises his shield to protect himself but stops as the stones pelt his shield and body. Knowing just standing there means cowering behind a shield and not advancing. He charges forward while barely maintaining his balance. He eventually finishes the obstacle. Standing at the end is a Royal Guard. From the officers' insignia, purple markings, and more extended plume, Anon knew this guard was a lieutenant.

"Cadet Anonymous, charge forward and strike down the dummies with your spear! FORWARD!" the Lieutenant shouts.

Anon charges forward at the first dummy, a fully armored minotaur. When Anon approaches the dummy, he swings his shield like a melee weapon to strike the dummy in the face. He finishes the attack by thrusting his spear into the dummy's armored chest.

The next target is a flying griffin dummy. This dummy is fully armored as well. Anon swings his shield when the griffin is in range and bats it away. He spins, swings his shield when the griffin is in range, and bats it away. He turns around and thrusts his spear through the opening beneath its helmet. The next target is a manticore that is 50 feet away. Anon plants his feet out. Anon plants his feet, rears his arm back, and throws the spear with all his strength. He watches the spear penetrate through the dummy's head.

"Now, draw your sword and continue the fight!" the Lieutenant shouts.

Anon follows the order and charges forward. His next targets are a trio of armored changelings. The first changeling, Anon, thrusts his sword through the chest. The next target, Anon, slices the head off. The final changeling is finished when Anon uses the same method on the griffin but with a twist. Anon swings his sword downward. The dummy is sliced in half. The final part of the test is a 100-yard sprint. Three Royal Guards yell at Anon to charge forward to finish. His side sends shockwaves of pain through his body, and his lungs burn like fire. He barely has the strength to continue. Then, he looks over and looks at the press box. Princess Celestia is still sitting there, watching Anon. He remembers the pain of losing his friendship with Celestia. Just seeing her again brings back the memories of their time together and the sorrow of losing her as a friend. He had suppressed those feelings for weeks, but they all came rushing forward. Anon turns to the finish line and charges. Anon lets out an earth-rumbling battle cry. This battle cry sends shivers down everypony's spine.

Anon crosses the finish line about 11 seconds later and collapses to his knees. A Royal Guard rushes to Anon with some water. She hands the water bottle to him, and he chugs it in under six seconds.

"Your battle cry at the end was a little over-dramatic, wasn't it," she asks.

"No, ma'am. I need a little boost to finish," Anon moans.

"If you say so."

The guard handed Anon another water bottle, which he drank slowly. He sits down, removes his helmet, and attempts to control his breathing. A few seconds later, Paper Maché crosses the finish line. The officer, a sergeant major who records the times, walks over to Paper Maché—the two talk for a while. Then, the sergeant major walks over to Anon.

"Well, Cadet Anonymous. I'm impressed. You did very well for a guy carrying a shield and spear," the officer says.

"Thank you."

"Your time was three minutes-and-twenty-one seconds. Most ponies finish with ten seconds left or even five seconds left."

"Good to know, I guess."

"Alright, you can head back to the barracks after you grab your spear. You can stay behind and watch the rest of the cadets go if you'd like. Daisy Petal will post the results tomorrow morning outside the barracks."

Anon picks up his helmet, grabs his spear, and returns to the barracks. Once he arrives, he takes a shower and cleans up his gear with a washrag. More and more cadets arrive back at the barracks as time passes by. When all of the remaining cadets return, it is time for dinner. Anon had spent that time sleeping the pain in his ribs away. One of his friends he made, named Pizza Crust, had to wake him up in time to go to dinner.

As congratulations on completing the final exams, the chefs made Alfredo pasta. Most of the cadets eat and chat amongst themselves. Anon, however, sits off to himself and eats silently. This confuses a lot of his fellow cadets. Typically, Anon would eat with the others. A few of the cadets silently agree to sit with Anon.

"How's it going, Anon?" Glass Pane asks.

"Okay, I guess. Tired, mostly."

"Tired? Didn't you take a six-hour nap today?" Stone Cutter asks.

"Yeah. I'm not physically tired. Just mentally."

"Not gonna lie, I'm kinda nervous about the scores tomorrow," Pizza Crust says.

"Oh, yeah. I'm nervous, too. I only did 38 push-ups today. The fucking armor and heat didn't help shit," a unicorn named Salty Ramen says. "What about you, Anon?"

"I think I did okay," Anon says nonchalantly.

"Okay?! OKAY?! Dude, you were the best at literally everything! You are the first in our class for sure!" Stone Cutter shouts.

"What the fuck, Stone? Keep your damn voice down," Anon shushes.

The mare turns around and sees that everypony, including some off-duty Solar and Royal Guards, is looking at her directional. She blushes and turns around while trying to make herself smaller. Anon rolls his eyes and continues eating his pasta.

The chefs bring out chocolate cakes with fudge frosting when dessert is served. They make enough so everypony can have seconds, or at most thirds. All of the cadets were in good spirits. The excellent food and good company take the nervousness off of the cadets. Soon, all cadets return to the barracks to get their well-earned sleep. Anon stays up a little longer than he usually does, thinking about his training. He hopes that everything he has learned will be enough to pass. He admits his fighting and overreliance on his shield could improve for stun melee attacks. Eventually, he falls asleep.

Anon wakes up the next day at the same time as usual. When he opens his eyes, he notices that everypony is gone. Anon rolls out of bed and puts on his sandals and training tunic. He walks outside and sees a large group of ponies standing next to the door.

On the wall is a large piece of paper with a long list of names. Some ponies talk excitedly amongst each other. Others, who look angry or disappointed, sit off to themselves. Anon can understand why.

He walks over to the piece of paper and takes a look. There is a red line that crosses the bottom portion of the paper. Every name underneath the red line is a pony that failed the exams. From the looks of it, only 75 cadets passed. Anon scans the list of his name. His name wasn't among those who failed, so he concludes that he passed. Anon starts at the bottom and works his way up. He sees Pizza Crust, Glass Pane, and Stone Cutter, who had become his best friends and had passed. Then, he sees his name at the very top of the list. Anon is at the top of the class. Honestly, he isn't surprised. He sighs and walks to the mess hall to eat breakfast. His friends see him walking away. They run after him.

"Hey, Anon! Wait up!" Stone Cutter shouts.

"Oh, what's up?" Anon replies.

"Congrats, Mr. Top-of-the-Class."

"Thanks, I guess."

"Anon, why aren't you ecstatic?" Pizza Crust asks.

"Because I knew it would happen," he responds.

The group of ponies is confused.

"What do you mean?" Glass Pane asks.

"Everything I've done during the final exam outperformed everyone. I'm stronger and faster than most ponies. I don't care about being the best, but the high brass kinda expects that of me so that I couldn't let them down."

"Well, it's not like you can help it. As you said, you are stronger and faster than most of us ponies," Stone Cutter says.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with being the best," Glass Pane adds.

"It felt too easy. The only thing I struggled with was the obstacle course," Anon says.

"You're preaching to the crowd, Anon. Everypony struggled with that. The pegasi weren't allowed to fly at all," Pizza Crust says, flapping his wings a little.

Anon and the group of ponies eat in silence for a few minutes. Sergeant Daisy Petal stands up at the table near the food line. She calls for the cadets to stand at attention—the shout echoes across the mess hall. Anon jumps up and stands at attention. Like dozens of times, Anon doesn't move a muscle.

"For those who passed the exams, congratulations! For those who failed, better luck next time! Those who failed need all their gear returned to the other sergeants, and you must leave the castle grounds by 10:00 am! The rest of you, at 11:00 am, will be in formation, at attention, at the training ground. You will be measured so the armorers can make custom-fitted armor, sheathes, weapons, and tailors can make ceremonial uniforms. The day after tomorrow is graduation day. You will wear your armor and carry your weapons when issued to you. Graduation is at 9:00 am. The graduates' families have already been notified," Daisy Petal announces, "Understood?"

"Yes, ma'am!" the cadets reply.

"As you were!"

All of the cadets return to eating their breakfast. At 11:00 am, every cadet is in formation. Anon is remeasured due to his more muscular and slimmed-down frame. After that, the cadets are made to turn in their train gear. Anon is allowed to keep his weapons and shield since they are made to suit him.

Then, cadets are allowed to the barracks or hang around the training grounds for the rest of the day.

After lunch, Anon takes a light one-mile jog. After that, he trains with his shield, sword, and spear for about two hours. He takes a nap before going to dinner. As usual, Anon eats with his friends. This time, they stay longer than usual in the mess hall. The cooks are forced to kick the four of them out. The four friends sit under a tree near the barracks up to the barracks and talk. They stay up until well-passed midnight. It's only when a patroling thestral Lunar Guard tells them to get some sleep is when they go to bed.

The following day, the graduating cadets train for the graduation ceremony. Sergeant Daisy Petal is surprised that they only took two times to get it down. It only took two hours. That afternoon, the graduating cadets received their new armor and weapons. The ponies excitedly put on their armor and weapons. Many armorers have since been hired to toil day and night to make 75 custom armored equipment. Anon is given a new sheath, a package, and his new armor. He carries the equipment to his bunk. He pulls back the tape on the box and opens it. The first thing that he sees is a letter written by Twilight Sparkle.

This is what it says:

Can't wait to see you at your graduation. Here's a little gift from Rarity. Don't worry; it's been cleared by your commanding officers for you to wear underneath your armor.

Your friend,

Twilight Sparkle

Anon sets the letter aside and pulls out the gift from the box. It's a blue tunic, one similar to what Anon is wearing. There is gold trimming all over the tunic. If he didn't stand out before, he would then.

He removed his old tunic and put on the new one. It fits perfectly. Then, he puts on his new cuirass. It's different from the old one because it's shinier, has abs and pecs, and has a war skirt. Then, Anon puts on his new bracers and greaves. He puts on his baldric and new sheath. He slides his sword into its new home.

Afterward, Anon picks up his new helmet. The gold-colored helmets shine in the artificial light of the barracks, and the blue plumes stand tall and vibrant. Anon slips on the final piece of his armor. Only when he puts on the helmet does he notice that everypony in the barracks is staring at him.

"What are you guys looking at?" Anon asks.

"Anon, you look fucking amazing," one of the stallions says.

"I guess so. I feel like it."

"We can tell. If we ever face the griffins or changelings, they are fucked when you face them!" a mare adds.

"Hey, Blue Sky, let him get to OCS first," Stone Cutter says.

"Wait a sec. OC-...oh, right. I forgot I was going to apply for that," Anon remembers.

"But first, Anon, let's graduate," Pizza Crust announces.

Anon puts his foot on his bed and draws his sword. He raises it above his head and points toward the ceiling. Others raise spears and swords, as well.

This might be cliché, but I'm going to do it anyway, Anon thinks to himself.

"Tomorrow, we will no longer be lowly cadets! Tomorrow, we will be official Royal Guards!" Anon shouts.

The barracks erupt into cheers.

"Company!! Forward!! March!!" Sergeant Daisy Petal shouts.

The 75 graduates march forward from the Lunar Guard training grounds. As they come into view, the crowd of spectators sitting in bleachers cheers. The cadets march until they are in front of the crowd. Then, they are ordered to face the audience.

As expected, Anon is front and center among the other graduates. Some of the spectators whisper amongst themselves about him. Then, Sergeant Daisy Petal steps up to the podium. She takes a deep breath before speaking to the crowd.

"Good morning, everypony, and welcome to the Royal Guard Training Grounds. For the last three months, I've seen these graduating cadets come from half-witted weaklings to bold, courageous soldiers. I thought a few of these graduates wouldn't make it to graduation. I'm proud to say that I'm glad I was wrong. Ultimately, they proved they were the strongest in body and soul. This group of graduates was a special one for me to train because they are the first non-pony Royal Guard graduates today. The tall green monkey is front and center if you couldn't tell."

That comment gets a laugh from the crowd. Anon rolls his eyes and curses the sergeant silently.

Then, Daisy Petal turns to face the graduates. She stares blankly at them.

"Graduates, are you worthy of defending Equestria with all your strength?!" Sergeant Daisy Petal asks.

"Axios!" the cadets shout in unison.

"Are you worthy of giving your lives for your country and your princesses?!"

"Axios!!"

"Are you worthy of becoming Royal Guards?!"

"AXIOS!!"

"By the power given to me by Princess Celestia, Princess of the Sun and co-ruler of Equestria, I now declare you official Royal Guards of the Equestrian Armed Forces."

The spectators begin to cheer as Daisy Petal salutes the new Royal Guards. As practiced, Anon quickly moves his spear from his right hand to his left. Then, all 75 guards salute back. Daisy Petal orders the guards to be at ease. The audience can leave the stands, and the new guards can meet their families and friends. Anon is about to head back to the barracks when he hears someone call out to him. He turns around and sees Twilight Sparkle and Spike walking up to him. Due to his training, Anon stands at attention and salutes Twilight.

"You don't have to salute me, Anon," Twilight laughs.

"Sorry, Prince-I mean Twilight. A force of habit due to training."

"That's okay."

Anon looks down and sees Spike. He squats down to the dragon's level. The camo baseball hat Anon had given him is on Spike's head, with the bill facing backward.

"Still have that hat, I see," Anon says.

"Heck, yeah. It's my most prized possession."

"I'm honored, Spike. I truly am. I'm also honored that you two came to see me graduate. It means a lot."

"You're welcome, Anon. We couldn't miss you achieving your dream of joining the military," Twilight says. "Besides, it's a big moment in EAF history. You're the first human to be inducted into the Royal Guard."

"Huh. It sounds like you were here for the historical moment rather than me, Twilight," Anon jokes.

"Very funny, Anon," Twilight sighs.

Anon stands up and chuckles to himself at his joke.

Then, a few officers, commanders, colonels, and generals came to congratulate Anon. After speaking to the officers, Anon is approached by a reporter from the Canterlot Times. A reporter asks him a few questions while a photographer takes candid pictures for the article. However, Anon noticed these photos being taken. He asks the photographer to take a picture of him with his friends rather than a candid one for the article. The pony agrees to Anon's request. Anon motions for Twilight and Spike to come over to be in the photo.

Before taking the photo, Anon sees Magnus Björnsson standing behind the bleachers. He gives his former pupil a respectful nod. The minotaur politely declines with a simple headshake when offered to come over for the photo. No pony in Canterlot, especially the nobles, would want a minotaur on the front page picture, considering minotaurs are Equestria's staunch enemies.

Magnus hears the photographer tell the group to smile. A bright flash fills his vision before almost instantly dissipating. Despite his large, muscular frame, Magnus's departure goes largely unnoticed. The only one to notice is Anon. He frowned, but his large smile returned to his face. For the first time in many months, Anon is pleased.

Finally, I'm right where I belong, Anon thinks, Next stop, Officer's Candidate School.

Summer Sun Fun

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Chapter 11

It's been two years since Anonymous joined the Royal Guard and over three years since his arrival in Equestria.

Over the last two years, a lot has happened. Shortly after graduating from boot camp, he joined Officer's Candidate School. At first, most of the other students didn't think much of him. Three weeks into the extensive training, the other candidates began to respect him. His quick learning skills, ability to retain information, and intelligence made him immensely popular with others. Eventually, Anon graduates second in the class. The pony who graduated first was a mare that Anon had never heard of. She was in the class before him but had to postpone her classes because she had to care for a sick relative.

When Anon graduates, he is instantly promoted to 2nd Lieutenant. He added a single purple bar on his shoulder plates, and portions of his armor were painted purple. His plume was made longer in the back to where the tip touched the collar of his tunic. Parts of his plume were removed and replaced with light blue portions. After his armor alterations, Anon's commanding officers gave him command of the 10th Aurora Company. Anon leads this unit for six months until his promotion to 1st Lieutenant. A yellow Celestial Seal is placed in his rank insignia to signify his new rank, and Anon is given command over the 25th Aurora Battalion and his own office.

At first, the guards of the 25th were skeptical of Anon's leadership, except for Sergeant Flash Sentry, Corporal Glass Pane, and Private Pizza Crust. However, Anon quickly wins their respect.

He's not like other 1st Lieutenants, who are overly strict and do everything by the book a little too much. Anon is very laid back, but he gets the job done. Within a year, he became one of the most highly rated and commendable 1st lieutenants in the Royal Guard. His rising success makes him some enemies among the other lieutenants. Most of them are children of high-ranking nobles.

Usually, Anon goes through the routine that he's had for the past two years. At 6:00 am, he wakes up. He puts on his armor and sword (because of his officer's status, he's not required to carry a spear and shield). Anon jogs the perimeter of the EAF training grounds for exercise. At 6:45 am, Anon eats at the commissioned officers' mess hall. It's not much different from the enlisted mess hall, except the food is better. At 7:30 am, Anon retrieves the day's assignment and meets with the members of the 25th Aurora Battalion to inform them of their duties. Today, however, has something different in store for the human Lieutenant.

While Anon is eating breakfast, a Royal Guard private approaches him. She salutes him. Anon salutes her back.

"1st Lieutenant Anonymous, Captain Tempest Shadow needs to see you in her office immediately," the guard says.

Anon snorts. "Seriously?"

The guard nods once.

"Son of a bitch. Alright, I will be there momentarily."

The guard walks away. Anon tosses the rest of his food and puts his dishes in the dirty dishes collection pile. He makes his way to Tempest's office. At this point, Tempest is Anon's commanding officer. She commands the 7th Aurora Regiment.

Five minutes later, Anon arrives at Tempest's office. He knocks on the door. The captain calls out for him to come in. Anon opens the door, snaps to attention, and salutes. Anon closes the door, sits down, and removes his helmet.

"So, Captain Tempest, what have you summoned me for?" Anon asks.

"The 25th was reassigned for the next two days, excluding today," she responds.

"We have?"

"You and the 25th Aurora Battalion have been assigned to be the bodyguards for Princess Celestia at the Summer Sun Festival."

Anon is surprised at the announcement.

"Say what now?" he asks.

"You heard me, Lieutenant," Tempest says

"Who's idea was this exactly?"

"It was Princess Luna's idea. She sent a letter to me this morning requesting the 25th."

"With all due respect, Captain, this is a horrible idea."

"How's that?"

"No disrespect towards my troops, but we aren't the most qualified battalion in the Royal Guard. Shouldn't Golden Javelin be in charge of this?"

Captain Tempest laughs at the question. Anon isn't amused. The last thing he wants is to escort Princess Celestia all day. Ever since Anon became a commissioned officer, he pulled every logical excuse out of his hat to get out of being in the vicinity of Celestia. However, Tempest isn't the one to cave on to something this big.

"You think Golden Javelin is a better fit for this job?" Tempest asks, still laughing.

Anon remains silent.

Anon sighs.

Tempest uses her magic to hand Anon his assignment. With reluctance, he takes the paper. After putting on his helmet, Anon gets up to leave. He stops when he opens the door.

"You know, Princess Luna, I can easily see through an invisibility spell," he states bluntly.

Princess Luna dissipates her spell and steps forward. She isn't shocked that Anon has seen through it. Everypony knows that every spell has a weakness. An invisibility spell is no exception. The disadvantage of the spell is that light refraction becomes evident if one looks hard enough. Only the best EAF troops can spot that weakness.

Then, Anon closed the door and left.

"Are you sure this plan will work, Princess Luna?" Tempest asks.

"Yes, I'm sure. It is my plan, after all. My sister will thank me later for this," Luna replies.

"With all due respect, Your Majesty, I think going behind Anon's back and forcing him to be with Princess Celestia so they can make amends is a bad idea. You can't force things like that. 1st Lieutenant Anonymous needs more time before he can face your sister."

"Captain Tempest, my sister has mourned and grieved for two years over her broken friendship with Anonymous. Enough time has passed."

"If you say so, Your Majesty. Though I do have a bad feeling about this."

Anon walks out to the designated meeting place of the 25th Aurora Battalion. All twenty sergeants, ten sergeant majors, and five 2nd Lieutenants stand in front of the five companies, which are at attention and fully armed. The troops salute as Anon approaches. He calls them at ease.

"Good morning, everyone," Anon says.

"Good morning, 1st Lieutenant Anonymous," they reply.

"As of this morning, we have been temporarily reassigned from Sectors 3 and 4 to a different location."

"Temporarily, sir?" 2nd Lieutenant Red Sun, a unicorn with a fiery red mane and a light-red body, asks. (she's Anon's second-in-command).

"Princess Luna has assigned us to be Princess Celestia's escorts at the Summer Sun Festival on Monday."

The troops talk excitedly amongst each other. The sergeants and the lieutenants don't share their subordinates' enthusiasm. They look at Anon with confusion and shock. He shakes his head and quiets the troops down.

"Now, according to my orders here. General Spear Shaft has been ordered to help coordinate us, so I must look somewhat like a professional lieutenant if I seem tougher today. As excited as you may be, we must take this seriously. And if we fuck something up, it's my head on the chopping block."

"We're fucked beyond belief," Red Sun groans as she facehoofs, "With all due respect towards Princess Luna, what makes her think we are qualified for this job? We aren't as experienced as other battalions."

"I pray to whatever god exists that we don't lose our jobs," Sergeant Green Frisbee groans.

"That's not the worst that can happen. This isn't some asshole noble we are guarding; it's FUCKING Princess Celestia. If we fuck up, she'll banish us to Tartarus knows where," a corporal announces.

"What the fucking hell, guys? Now, you are blowing this out of proportion. Princess Celestia won't do anything like that. I want to avoid hearing Captain Tempest and other high-brasses screaming at me for two hours. As long as we do our jobs, we'll be fine. After all, I have the toughest job: standing by her side all day," Anon announces. He winces at the thought of his job.

After talking to his troops briefly, Anon sees General Spear Shaft walk onto the training grounds in his peripheral vision. Anon orders his troops to pay attention and to perform a right face. He salutes, and everyone else follows suit.

"Good morning, General Spear Shaft," Anon says.

"Good morning, 1st Lieutenant Anonymous. It's an honor to work with you," General Spear Shaft replies.

"It's an honor to work with a General of the Equestrian Armed Forces, sir."

"Let's look at the troops I'll work with for the next few days."

Anon follows Spear Shaft as he walks in front of the troops. Every once in a while, Spear Shaft stops and looks at some front and center troops. Once he finishes that, he looks at the row of sergeants and lieutenants. Anon could tell that the officers looked more nervous than their subordinates. He softly chuckles.

"1st Lieutenant, you have a good-looking group of troops here," Spear Shaft announces.

"Thank you, sir."

"Alright. There are only so many daylight hours, so let's get to it."

General Spear Shaft goes over the festival procedures for the next few hours. He assigns certain spearteams to specific positions. Anon carries a clipboard, taking notes on the procedures and squad locations. Then, Spear Shaft assigned the guards to stand at the platform during the raising of the sun ceremony, practicing walking up to the platform, maintaining vigilance, and walking off the platform. To some guards, practicing this over and over again seems ridiculous. However, Anon and others realize its importance. If the Royal Guards mess up something this important in front of hundreds of ponies, it negatively impacts the branch as a whole. It takes two hours for these guards not to make any mistakes. It's only then that the guards break for lunch.

General Spear Shaft takes Anon out of a fancy restaurant in the wealthy part of Canterlot. It is the only place, besides the bars, that will serve carnivores. Because a decent portion of the staff is griffins, Spear Shaft decides to make conversation after they order their food.

"The 25th learned faster than I anticipated, Lieutenant," he says.

"Honestly, I thought we'd have to be out there longer than we were."

"We still have one more day of work to do, including the rest of today, but I don't think that's asking too much."

"That's true, sir."

They sit in silence for a moment until curiosity takes over Anon.

"General Spear Shaft, do you remember Sergeant Major Hard Cider?"

"Yes, I do. It's been a few years since I've seen him. I commanded the 3rd Corona Regiment as a captain at his discharge. How do you know him?"

"He's a bartender at a bar in Ponyville. I frequented his bar when I lived there."

"Oh, okay. He finally got to open that bar he always wanted."

"Yeah. It's pretty popular around the area. It's crowded most nights, especially on the weekends."

"I'm not surprised, to be honest. Now, I have a question for you."

Anon drinks a little of his water. "Okay, shoot."

"I heard you were adamant about your battalion not guarding Princess Celestia. Does that have something to do with the falling out you had with her a while back?"

Anon stops mid-chew as he locks eyes with Spear Shaft. A thousand thoughts fill Anon's head.

"Uh...how do you know about that?"

"Everpony in the EAF knows."

"Hijo de perra," (Son of a bitch) Anon grumbles, "To answer your question, yes, it has to do with that."

"Have you considered it might be time for you both to get things out in the open? Let unsaid things be said?"

"It has crossed my mind, but it's not as easy as it sounds. I don't want to open old wounds more than I have to. If you don't already know, I fucked up badly that day."

"Despite how badly you fucked up, Anonymous, I don't think Princess Celestia will oppose talking to you. I'm sure you know that she's very forgiving."

"Yes, sir. I know."

"If you think what happened between you and Princess Celestia will hinder you from performing your duties, I'll temporarily assign another 1st Lieutenant to your position."

"That won't be necessary, General. You're right. It's time I start warming up to her again and cleaning up my mess."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, sir."

Then, Spear Shaft notices that Anon has scrunched up his eyebrows, and he's frowning. His facial expression had been like this for a while. Spear Shaft is about to ask what's wrong until he hears what got Anon on edge. They both turn their heads and see a booth that has three griffins sitting at it. They are sitting two seats back, but what they say doesn't go unheard by the Royal Guards. These three aren't tourists; they are spies. It's been several years since guards had caught spies in Canterlot. The last time was during the wedding of Princess Cadence and then Captain Shining Armor. Every guard in the EAF is trained to multitask, which includes listening to two conversations at once. Very few of them can perfect that talent. What the griffins are talking about might fall deaf on unwary ears, but to well-trained guards, it's as loud as a fog horn.

"General Spear Shaft, permission to have the 25th on Code Gray and tomorrow show them what I have in mind to catch those bastards?" Anon asks.

"Permission granted, 1st Lieutenant Anonymous. To hell with what I had planned. With a Code Gray in place, that takes precedence."

Anon nods his head once as he takes a bite of his steak.

"SPIES!!??" Red Sun shouts.

Anon winces a little as the shout pierces through the air.

After General Spear Shaft finished the 25th's Summer Sun Festival training, Anon called a meeting about the Code Gray with all his sergeants and lieutenants. As one could tell, none of them were too excited.

"Yes, Red Sun. A trio of griffins was talking about a mission that involves watching the guard movements and, among other things," Anon responds.

"Why didn't you arrest them?" Sergeant Coffee Cup asks.

Anon rubs the bridge of his nose out of annoyance.

"Did you guys even read the procedures of Code Gray?"

There's only silence. Somepony coughs in the back.

I fucking swear to everything on Earth if I hear a cricket unironically start chirping, I will lose my shit, Anon thinks to himself.

"Just as I thought. We have to conduct an investigation and catch them in the act. Just talking about spying isn't enough to have them arrested. When we arrest them and put them on trial for espionage, they get legal representation from their home country. Hearsay would be the first thing they'd call out if I had arrested them earlier today. Nine times out of 10, they'd get off scot-free and a free trip home. With that being said, I've got a plan on how to catch them," Anon announces.

"Who's watching those assholes now?" Sergeant Major Blue Flame asks.

"I have three of the best Lunar Guards to offer to watch them. The griffins are staying at some hotel in Sector 2," Anon replies.

"You'd think those spies would stay in the scuzzy part of Canterlot, not in the wealthy part," Sergeant Flash Sentry says.

"Either way, we've got a bad situation, but we must act like nothing is happening. The public and spies will get suspicious. Normally, I'd request two more battalions for help. In this case, only the 25th will be at the fairgrounds. Well, half," Anon explains.

The officers give each other puzzled looks.

"One-half will be at their usual posts. The other half will be in buildings overlooking the fairgrounds. I've already listed who will be in the buildings and who will remain on the ground. I've enlisted the help of twenty pegasi from the 9th Sunspot Battalion. The pegasi will provide close air support. I've also made a list of the pegasi who will work with us," Anon explains.

"You thought of everything, didn't you?" 2nd Lieutenant Wooden Frame asks.

After answering a few more questions, Anon concludes his meeting. Then, he takes his plans for the Summer Sun Festival to Captain Tempest and General Spear Shaft. Anon thinks his day is over until Spear Shaft orders him to inform both princesses of the Code Gray procedures that are to take place. Informing Princess Luna about his plan goes swimmingly. Informing Princess Celestia is awkward. Anon tries to remain as professional as possible when he speaks. It's the first time they've spoken in two years, yet very little was said between them.

When Anon leaves Celestia's private study, he feels a knot in his stomach. His chest and his breathing become heavy. Anon's legs become heavy as well. Finally, a single tear falls from his eye. Once again, all of his pain, anger, and self-hatred return. Anon feels like screaming his throat out and punching a wall. His training to remain emotionless doesn't kick in at all. Soon, a steady stream of tears falls from his eyes. He grits his teeth in anger.

"Anon, you are such a fucking dumbass," Anon growls as he removes his helmet to wipe his eyes.

The following day, Anon informs the rest of the 25th of his plan for the festival. However, he makes it appear that everything is completely normal, just in case the griffins are spying on them. Spear Shaft even shows up to give the false appearance of normalcy. Captain Tempest coordinates the guards that are to be stationed in the buildings. Spear Shaft and Anon coordinate the ground positions. By lunch, the guards had learned what to do. After lunch, Anon orders his troops to polish and shine their armor. He even orders them to sharpen their weapons as well. Anon wants them to be prepared for anything, even fighting griffin spies.

Finally, the day of the Summer Sun Festival arrives. At 6:00 am, the 25th Aurora Battalion stands at attention in formation. The officers stand at their usual sports. Anon walks in front of them with his hands clasped behind his back. General Spear Shaft stands not too far away.

"Alright, troops! This is it! Our duty today is to defend Princess Celestia and our citizens from any threat, even if it costs us our very lives! Are you worthy of such a duty?!" Anon shouts.

"AXIOS!!!" the guards shout back.

"Alright! Battalion, move out!!"

In perfect unison, all 500 troops perform a right face and march forward. Anon follows alongside them. He sees the twenty pegasi fly above them to their posts. When the battalion reaches the platform, twelve Royal Guards break off from the formation, and six are posted on each side of the eloquently decorated platform. Anon stands off to the side, waiting for Princess Celestia. The rest of the battalion went to their posts at the fairgrounds. Over the next hour, dozens upon dozens of ponies arrive. They patiently wait for their Princess to arrive behind a large banner.

At 6:55 am, Anon sees Princess Celestia. She stops and looks at Anon. He snaps to attention and salutes her. She gives him a respectful nod. She walks up onto the platform and faces the crowd. Anon watches the windows, rooftops, and crowds. He keeps his hand on the hilt of his xiphos as Princess Celestia starts her speech. Then, one of the Royal Guard pegasi from the 9th lands next to Anon.

"How's it looking, Sergeant Major Tight Rope," Anon asks.

"It's all clear for now, sir. Two of my guards spotted some griffins in the crowd, but they didn't match the description of the spies," Tight Rope responds.

"Good, but make sure your troops stay frosty. Those cat-birds can be anywhere."

Tight Rope flies off as Princess Celestia finishes up her speech.

Anon returns his gaze as Celestia flies into the air. Her wings make slow and elegant flaps as Princess Celestia ascends upward. She stretches up to the sky. Her horn glows as the sun rises to its correct position. The crowd cheers as Celestia descends onto the platform. Anon looks confused at what just happened.

That was...anticlamatic he thinks to himself.

Princess Celestia walks down the steps and up to Anon. He swallows hard.

"This way, Your Highness," Anon says, albeit shakily.

Celestia walks beside Anon as he walks toward the fairgrounds. The evergrowing crowd of ponies follows close behind. This makes Anon extremely uncomfortable. Not only does he have to watch for potential threats, but he also has to keep the crowd off Princess Celestia. Anon has his back facing the Princess, trying to keep the crowds back. Just as the crowd gets to be too much for him, a squad of Royal Guards appears in a flash of magic. The guards are led by 2nd Lieutenant Red Sun.

"You look like you need some help," she says, slightly grinning.

"Thanks, Red Sun. Make sure the crowd stats a decent distance back. They make me nervous and make my job ten times more difficult."

"Yes, sir."

Anon picks up his pace to keep up with Princess Celestia—the two walk silently to the fairgrounds. Celestia stands still as the ponies go around them to get to the many carnival stands and rides. The Princess smiles as she watches her subjects begin their day of fun. Then, she looks at her 1st Lieutenant. Being around Anon for the first time in two years makes her shaky. His face was as blank as the first day she had met him in Ponyville. She sighs disappointedly.

"Shall we go, 1st Lieutenant?" Princess Celestia asks.

"After you, Your Highness," Anon replies.

The two walk down the road toward a stand that sells cakes. It makes sense to Anon that Princess Celestia takes the free samples. Anon is offered a piece, but he turns it down. They walk around for two hours until Anon is stopped by Run Sun again. He steps aside for a moment to talk to her.

"Status report, sir," she announces.

"Okay, shoot."

"One of the guards in the hotel spotted one of the griffin spies snooping around the rides. Corporal Soft Taco of the 9th saw another about 200 yards from us. The other is on top of a building at 10 o'clock. We've got plenty of evidence on those bastards now."

"Let them snoop for a little longer, 2nd Lieutenant, and give them a false sense of security. If they are worth their salt, they'll be here awhile. Give it about another hour before we make our move."

"Roger that."

In a flash of red magic, Red Sun disappears. Anon returns to his post beside Princess Celestia. He informs her of the current situation with the spies. She gives a slight nod.

The pair hit up a few more stands of carnival foods and games. Most ponies allow Princess Celestia to win the games or let her cut in front of them. Anon knows that she hates this, but obliging doesn't hurt.

After about 30 minutes of walking around, Anon's stomach is churning. His arms and legs feel like jelly. He wants to talk to Celestia about what happened two years ago, but nervousness and second thoughts keep him from saying anything. The longer he waits, the worse the feeling gets. Celestia looks over at Anon and can see the sweat dripping from Anon's arms and face. It's not even that hot in Canterlot, and Anon hadn't been doing anything physically demanding. From the weather reports she received that morning, the temperature was only supposed to be a high of 72 degrees Fahrenheit (22.22 degrees Celsius). Not only that, Anon seemed to be wobbly as he walked. Celestia knows something is wrong with him.

"1st Lieutenant Anonymous, be honest with me. Is everything alright?" Princess Celestia asks.

Anon shakily inhales. He turns and faces Celestia. At first, he looks at the ground and then at her eyes.

"No, Your Highness, I'm not."

"Would you like to talk about it somewhere privately?"

"Yeah, but I need to -"

A bright yellow flash suddenly fills Anon's vision. He sees that he's now standing in a room inside the castle. Specifically, it is Princess Celestia's room. Anon doesn't bother voicing his opinion about being teleported unannounced. He walks over to Princess Celestia, who is sitting on her bed. She pats the bed next to her. Anon hesitantly removes his helmet. He sets it on the ground and sits next to Celestia. For a moment, the two sit in silence.

"Your Highness, I don't know where to start, so I'll get to the point. I've wanted to talk about what went down in your private study two years ago for a long time," Anon says.

"I've wanted to talk to you about that, as well," Celestia replies.

"I'll let you go because you know...mare's first."

Princess Celestia smiles and chuckles slightly. As she predicted, Anon's chivalry is still intact.

"Anon, I owe you an enormous apology. I'm sorry for not supporting your decision to enlist in the Royal Guard. When you told me you would enlist, I remembered losing beloved friends in battle and seeing my little ponies throw themselves before a sword or spear for me. The thought of you doing that for me scared me, and it still does. I didn't want to lose my best friend, who truly understood my sister and me, to the battlefield. I should've been more supportive and understanding of your decision. I was a horrible friend to you. Can you ever find it in your heart to...forgive me?"

Anon nods his head. He leans forward and hangs his head. Tears fall from his eyes. Soon, Anon begins to breathe heavily.

"Anon, are you -"

Celestia is interrupted by Anon wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight. Anon weeps bitterly. Tears dampen Celestia's fur as Anon sobs into her chest. All of Anon's pain and true feelings that he forced down for years finally boiled over. Princess Celestia doesn't know what to do, but she wraps a wing and her front legs around Anon.

"I'm sorry, Tia!" Anon sobs loudly.

"For what?" Celestia asks in a soothing tone.

"For yelling at you! I was so angry at you! I'm sorry! Please forgive me! Forgive me!"

Anon continues to sob loudly into Princess Celestia's chest. She covers the weeping human with her other wing and leans her head against his shaved head. Anon soon begins to quiet down as Celestia starts singing a lullaby to calm him. Anon's breathing slows as he loosens his grip on the Princess. Soon, he releases Celestia and folds his hands on his lap. They sit in silence for a while until Anon picks up his helmet. Then, Anon stands up and puts on his helmet. He uses his index finger to rub his eyes.

"Should we head back, Tia? Red Sun was supposed to meet with me twenty minutes ago," Anon asks.

"Don't worry. While you were crying, I sent a message telling 2nd Lieutenant Red Sun where we were."

"You didn't tell her I was sobbing like a baby, did you?"

"Of course not, Anon. I told her I requested a meeting with you."

"Thanks, Tia. I appreciate it."

Princess Celestia smiles as she stands up. The two friends embrace in a hug.

"Friends?" Anon asks as he releases her.

"Best friends," Princess Celestia replies.

Celestia teleports them back to the fairgrounds. As Anon had predicted, many Royal Guards were not privy to the reason for Anon and Princess Celestia's disappearance. He isn't surprised when he sees several guards running around, looking panicked. To help Anon out, Princess Celestia sends a message to every unicorn on the 25th, notifying them of her and Anon's return and telling everyone else. Soon, Sergeant Flash Sentry and four other guards find them. Flash sighs a sigh of relief and sheaths his sword. Anon apologizes for the inconvenience and continues his job of escorting Princess Celestia.

For the next thirty minutes, Anon is in a better mood than he was at the beginning of the day. He takes a few free samples of the carnival food and even participates in the carnival games. However, it isn't long before his fun comes to an abrupt end.

One of the Royal Guards didn't know that Anon was supposed to green-light the arrests of the griffin spies. So, when he finds the spies meeting up, he confronts them. The spies rush the guard. One of the spies pushes the guard out of the way, but the guard manages to hurl his spear at one. The spear injures one of the griffin's wings, rendering her flightless. The guard raises the alarm as he retrieves his spear and gives chase. It isn't long before the griffins start plotting a distraction so they can escape. Said distraction is causing panic and assassinating Princess Celestia.

At first, Anon is oblivious to the commotion the griffins are causing. He is playfully arguing with Princess about the best flavor of the cake. Then, Anon hears ponies yelling and Red Sun calling out to him. He turns to find a griffin jumping at Princess Celestia with a dagger in his talons. Anon steps before Celestia in a split second and draws his sword. He swings it at the griffin's neck—the blade slices through its intended target. The headless corpse, the head, and the knife hit the ground. A large pool of blood is beginning to form.

"Are you okay, Your Highness?" Anon asks.

"Yes, 1st Lieutenant. Are you?" Celestia replies.

"Just fine. Thank you."

Then, Red Sun and a few Royal Guards run up to Anon. Before Red Sun can say anything, Anon begins barking orders.

"2nd Lieutenant Red Sun, find the members of the 9th Sunspot Battalion and get them to clean up this body and take it to the morgue! The rest of you, get every guard on duty to look for those feathered bastards! UNDERSTOOD?!"

"Yes, sir," the guards shout as they salute.

The guards scatter, but Red Sun stays behind.

"1st Lieutenant, you'll need this if you are going to help us out," Red Sun announces.

She ignites her horn, and Anon's shield appears bright red. Anon takes the shield and slides it onto his left arm. He gives his thanks to Red Sun with a simple nod. As soon as Anon turns to begin his search for the griffin spies, he spots one of them trying to blend in with the fleeing crowds.

"You! Griffin! Freeze!" Anon shouts.

The griffin looks at Anon and runs away. Anon pursues the spy. As Anon runs off, Princess Celestia tries to calm herself.

Please be careful, Anon, Celestia thinks to herself.

The griffin spy runs as fast as she can. She can't fly because the damned Royal Guard injured her wing. Facing off against the human guard who decapitated her brother is not an option. The only thing she has is a small dagger. The spy tries everything she can do to slow the human down. She tries knocking over tables and pushing ponies into his path. Nothing seems to work. She decides to try to lose the human guard by hiding in an alleyway. At first, the spy thinks she has illuded the human, but she spots a small trail of blood leading directly to her. The human walks down the alley, presumably following the blood trail.

"I know you are down here, you shitwipe," Anon snarls.

The spy has no choice but to reveal herself. She steps out from behind the crate she was hiding behind. She draws her dagger, stands on her hind legs, and gets into a fighting stance.

"Do yourself a favor and surrender, griffin. You've got nowhere to run," Anon growls.

"After what you did to my brother, not a fucking chance in Hell, asswipe," the spy says as she twirls her knife into a reverse grip.

Anon bends his knees. He raises his shield into a defensive position and points his sword at the spy. He narrows his eyes.

"I'm going to make you my bitch, monkey boy," the griffin sneers.

"Funny. I told your mom something similar last night," Anon retorts, grinning like an idiot at his comeback.

The two charge at each other with their weapons ready. The griffin jumps to tackle Anon but steps to the side. He swings his shield, and it hits the griffin in the side. Specifically, the griffin's injured wing. He tries to stab the griffin, but she rolls out of the way. The spy gets up and swings her knife at Anon's throat. Anon leans forward and lets the knife slam into his helmet. As he leans forward, Anon thrusts his sword forward. It pierces the griffin's chest right through her heart. The griffin coughs up blood as her knees give way. Anon pulls out his sword and sheaths it. The spy slumps over dead.

Then, Princess Celestia and several Royal Guards arrive down the alley. At first, Anon is confused about how they found him, but he concludes that they followed the same blood trail he did.

Some guards grab the spy's body and prepare it for transportation to the morgue. The rest begin cleaning up the blood. Celestia starts checking on Anon. She inspects every portion of his body besides the parts underneath his armor and tunic.

"Are you okay, Anon? Please tell me you're okay," she asks.

"I'm okay, Tia," Anon responds quietly.

Then, Celestia wraps her front legs around Anon in a tight hug. Anon is shocked by this surprise hug, especially in front of his troops.

"Oh, 1st Lieutenant Anonymous. Thank you so much for saving from the griffin. You're my hero, Anonymous," Celestia teases as she squeezes tighter.

Anon turns all shades of red out of embarrassment. The guards look at him and quietly chuckle amongst themselves. Before Celestia can embarrass him further, Anon gently peels the Princess off him and readjusts his armor. Then, he looks at his troops—a stern look creeps across his face.

"ATTENTION!!!" Anon yells.

The guards stopped what they were doing and stood at attention.

"If I hear you bastards telling anyone about Princess Celestia jumping all over me like that, I'll make you run until you vomit. Do I make myself clear?" Anon says.

"Yes, sir," the guards reply.

"Carry on."

The guards clean up the mess as Anon escorts Princess Celestia back to the castle.

Anon returns to his office to fill out paperwork about the deaths of the griffins. According to EAF protocol, if a guard kills someone in public that isn't in a combat situation, the guard has to fill out a death report recounting his version of the events. The commanding officer has to review the statements, decide whether the guard needs to be brought up on charges, and send it to the next officer up the chain of command for a final verdict. Nine times out of ten, the commanding officers will side with the guard. Since Anon killed two griffins, he has to fill out two reports. He feels terrible for Captain Tempest for having to write two reports corroborating Anon's recollection of the events and saying his actions are justified. At first, he only fills out his set of reports, but he has to write another report when he receives a report Glass Pane killed the last griffin. Thankfully, Princess Celestia kept Anon company as he wrote his reports. When Anon finishes his reports, he sends them to Captain Tempest.

Princess Celestia invites Anon to eat in the Royal Dining Hall for dinner. Anon accepts her offer. Princess Luna isn't surprised to see the two together again that night. She knew her plan would work regardless of any mitigating circumstances that day. The three friends eat merrily and celebrate the joyous reunion of Anon and Princess Celestia's friendship. After dinner, they all hang out in Celestia's private study. They mainly listen to Anon talk about the last two years of being a Royal Guard.

When Anon takes a shower that night, he contemplates how bizarre his day is. That morning, Anon was too nervous even to look Princess Celestia in the eye. Just being around her made him sick to his stomach. Also, it made his heart ache, and he hated himself for his actions two years ago. Thankfully, that is now all in the past. What makes things better is that Princess Celestia forgives him for his actions. The unexpectedly attacking griffins made his first Summer Sun Festival more interesting. However, he did precisely what Princess Celestia feared he'd do. Anon jumped in front of a would-be assassin's blade. Despite all that, he only cares about his rekindled friendship with Celestia. Two years of regret and self-hatred are over. He feels as if a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders, and the pain in his chest has been relieved. Before Anon goes to bed, he writes in his journal, commemorating the day's events. After which, he slips into his bed. Anon goes to bed smiling for the first time in two years.

Author's Notes:

I am so glad to have 1st Lieutenant Anonymous and Princess Celestia as friends again. I hadn't realized until I started writing this chapter how long the two had been apart. Before I wrote this, I decided to have military unit sizes in the Royal Guard so you can get an accurate idea of how large the units are. If they are inaccurate to actual dimensions, take it as I took some liberties with it.

Spear team (Equestria version of a fire team)= 5 troops (led by a corporal)
Squad= 25 troops (led by a sergeant)
Platoon= 50 troops (led by a sergeant major)
Company= 100 troops (led by a 2nd Lieutenant)
Battalion= 500 troops (led by a 1st Lieutenant)
Regiment= 1000 troops (led by a captain)
Brigade= 3000 troops (led by a commander)
Division= 6600 troops (led by a colonel)
Corps= 11000 troops (led by two generals)
For clarification, The Royal Guard is divided into three corps, the Aurora, Corona, and Sunspot Corps.
The Royal Guard is composed of 6600 squads,1320 platoons, 330 companies, 66 battalions, 33 regiments, 5 divisions, and 3 corps.
And now, the Chapter 12 name spoiler
Chapter 12: Deployment: Crystal Empire
Edit (9/6/2002) I changed the battalion troop size to 500 troops.

Deployment: Crystal Empire PART 1

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Chapter 12

It's been eight months since the events of the Summer Sun Festival. Surprisingly for 1st Lieutenant Anonymous, the excitement didn't end with the festival. As a reward for Anon's actions and selfless defense of Princess Celestia, Anon received the Distinguished Celestial Sun Medal. Anon didn't want the 25th Aurora Battalion to go without recognition for their actions. Princess Celestia gave them pay raises and ten days of leave to reward them. Corporal Glass Pane was awarded the Distinguished Royal Guardspony Medal, a silver medal of two blue and gold xiphoses crossing, for pursuing and killing the other.

After the spy incident, the 25th had a news article written about them in the Canterlot Times. It detailed their actions at the Summer Sun Festival. Despite the medals, pay raises, and news articles, there is one thing that Anon enjoyed the most. That was his restored friendship with Princess Celestia. Since that day, Anon has stopped eating dinner at the officer's mess hall and started eating with the princesses. He even started using his time off with Princess Celestia, trying to spend as much time with her as possible. Not long before the notorious tabloid companies noticed that Princess Celestia's newest companion was the Royal Guard, who saved her life—rumors of a romantic relationship budding soon spread throughout Canterlot. When Celestia discovered the tabloid's stories, she shut them down for spreading false information.

Today, Anon is eating breakfast in the officer's mess hall. He reads over an arrest report by the newly promoted Corporal Lumber Stack. He had arrested a noblepony couple for extortion and tax fraud. It was an excellent and clean arrest. The arrest was better because all the evidence was in the house. Since the couple was nobleponies, Princess Celestia oversaw the arrest. Anon guesses that Celestia's presence also contributed to the smoothness of the arrest.

As Anon finishes his coffee, a Royal Guard private walks over. The guard Anon a letter with his name written on it. When the guard walks away, Anon opens the letter. He automatically knows what it is. It is a letter from a secret admirer. For eight months, Anon has received letters from this secret admirer. The first one detailed why this pony admired him so much. His honorability, selflessness, and courage were some of the things that were mentioned in the first letter. As time went on, the letters became more intimate. The secret admirer said they liked how he looked in his armor and his "toned physique." They also mentioned they like Anon's personality and boldness. Soon after, the admirer sent a letter saying they had feelings for Anon. That made him uneasy because he was less willing to date anyone outside his species. This letter, however, is different. The admirer says they want to meet Anon and reveal themselves to him. Anon swallows hard. He becomes nervous. Yet, he is also intrigued by this request. Anon can't deny that he's been curious about who his mystery mare is. He tried having the handwriting analyzed, but no one could identify it. So, Anon accepted the mare's anonymity. Anon sees the date, the location, and the time the mare wants to meet him. The meeting is two weeks away at the train station at 11:00 am. As Anon usually did with these letters, he folds the notes into a small rectangle and tucks it into the clasp of his clipboard.

When lunchtime comes around, Anon eats his lunch in his office. He reads patrol reports as he munches on a ham sandwich. He enjoys the peace until someone knocks on his door. The door opens, and it's Anon's desk sergeant, Sergeant Major Silk Web. She is a mare in her 30s and was wounded in the changeling invasion of Canterlot, so she was taken off of active duty and placed on desk duty.

"Sorry to disturb you, 1st Lieutenant Anonymous, but Princess Celestia is here to see you," she says.

"Oh, send her in," Anon replies as he swallows his sandwich.

"Yes, sir."

The door closes for a moment until Princess Celestia reopens it. Anon and Celestia greet each other with a hug before they sit.

"So, how's your day going?" Celestia asks.

"Not too bad, to be honest. Sectors 1 and 2 have been quiet all morning. I sent 5th and 6th Aurora Companies on patrol in the upper mountainside region as a part of the new security protocols. That's also quiet. I ordered the 10th and 12th Aurora Companies to stay behind, and for the 9th company, I had to patrol the lower mountainside region. They'll alternate patrol routes in twenty minutes or so. I'll look over their reports when they finish."

"Sounds like a busy day."

"Not entirely. Most reports from Sectors 1 and 2 are just misdemeanor crimes. Everywhere else is nothing to speak about. A few teenagers were caught 'exploring' the lower regions a few times."

"What was their reason for being in a restricted area?"

"They didn't know the EAF restricted the region. Regarding excuses, it's pretty shitty, considering we have posted signs everywhere."

"You punished them, I presume?"

"Not severely. I figured being confronted by fully-armed Royal Guards and being arrested was punishment enough."

"I think the punishment wasn't too harsh considering the one you gave Diamond Tiara a while back."

Anon laughs. He remembers the horror on Diamond Tiara's face as she scrubbed Anon's floors in his home in Ponyville. Anon had intentionally let his house get filthy. Mainly, it was for his amusement.

For the next two hours, Princess Celestia and Anon reminisce over the past four years since Anon arrived in Equestria while he files patrol reports. Once he finishes this round of reports, Celestia invites Anon to take a walk around Canterlot with her for a breath of fresh air. Anon obliges Celestia's request and drops everything he does to join her.

They roam around the wealthy part of Canterlot (also known as Sectors 1 and 2) for a while. Eventually, they wander into a bookstore. Celestia browses the books about Equestria's history while Anon looks for Daring Do books. He had been reading the series on and off due to his duties in the Royal Guard. Anon finds the book he's looking for, Daring Do and the Search for Mjolnir. He pays for the book and waits for Princess Celestia to finish her book search at a coffee shop across the street. Eventually, Celestia walks out with the very first Daring Do book and joins Anon.

"I didn't think you were into Daring Do," Anon says.

"Just wanted to see what the fuss is about," she replies.

Anon chuckles, "A little late to the party, don't you think?"

"Well...I never got around to it, and one could say the same thing about you."

"Fair, but one might say that you've been around for centuries and had the time to read the books."

"I'd say that's a fair argument. Well played, Anon."

After reading over coffee, Anon and Princess Celestia return to Anon's office. He finishes up his report filing while Celestia reads some more. Anon finishes right around the time for the guard change. When Anon and Princess Celestia reach the Royal Guard Training Grounds, the 25th Aurora Battalion and the other Royal Guard battalions stationed in Canterlot are in formation, at attention, and facing a flagpole. A gentle breeze blows the Royal Guard Flag. Captain Tempest, two sergeants, and a corporal bugler stand at the base of the pole. Anon stands at attention in front of the 25th and faces the flag. Princess Celestia stands with Captain Tempest.

"DETAIL!!! ATTENTION!!!" Captain Tempest shouts.

Every soldier snaps to attention. Each stands looking at the flag; their eyes are filled with pride. The guards salute as the bugler plays the bugle call to end the day. The two sergeants lower the Royal Gaurd flag and replace it with the Lunar Guard flag. Once the flag is lowered and the bugler completes his call, the guards are dismissed to the mess hall, their barracks, or Flasks and Mugs. Anon and Celestia dine together in the Royal Dining Hall with Princess Luna. Anon thinks this is the end of the day and its spontaneity. Soon, he will be wrong.

Anon arrives back at the officer's barracks at around 8 am. He walks up the stairs to the second floor. The officer's barracks is a four-story building. The first floor houses the 2nd Lieutenants, the second-floor houses the 1st Lieutenant, the third has the captains, and the last has the commanders. Each floor has a large living area with several recliners, couches, and a kitchen. A separate but identical officer's barracks for the mares sit next to the stallion's officer's barracks... When Anon arrives in the living room, a few 1st Lieutenants are seated around a table, playing poker. They don't notice Anon walk in, and some captains go to his room.

The room Anon sleeps in isn't like the room he stayed in the castle while he was a handyman. It's much smaller and doesn't have all the expensive furnishing. His shield and spear are propped up nicely in the corner beside his desk. Anon removes his armor and places it on his armor stand near his bed. Lastly, he lays his sword belt next to his spear. Anon grabs his Daring Do book and lies on the couch in the living area.

"Hey, Anon," 1st Lieutenant Comet Flash says as he looks up from his cards.

"What's up, Comet," Anon replies, "How's the game going?"

"Fucking shitty."

"Why's that?"

"This son of a bitch likes to go all in, not even call, when he has the shittiest fucking hand," 1st Lieutenant Astral Storm laughs.

"Damn it, Comet. Keep blowing your money like that, and you will be single. Again," Anon says.

The table of officers erupts into laughter. Even Anon cracks up laughing at his joke. Since OCS, Comet Flash has had over seven marefriends. Now, he was on his eighth. All his ex-marefriends broke up with him due to his less-than-admirable gambling habits. He always ended up broke and losing marefriends. Most were decent mares from Sectors 3 and 4 (the middle-class sectors). The marefriend Comet has now is a noblepony's daughter. She is very good to him, and her family has become fond of him, too. Anypony, who knew Comet Flash, joked about his gambling habits, but deep down, they knew it was a bad problem.

"Hey, Anon, did you get a letter from HQ that looks like this?" 1st Lieutenant Thunder Hooves says as he holds up a yellow paper.

"I don't think so. Where was yours placed?" Anon replies.

"Mine was on my desk."

"Let me go look."

Anon returns to his room and finds an envelope on his desk. He opens it and finds a yellow piece of paper. At the very top, in big crimson letters, is written DEPLOYMENT NOTICE. Anon raises an eyebrow in interest. Below is a brief note. This is what it says:

Dear 1st Lieutenant Anonymous,

You have been selected for a six-month deployment to Royal Guard Base Gemstone in the Crystal Empire. The ship date for your deployment is on June 16 at 1100 hours. In the envelope is your ticket to your deployment location. Please do not lose it, or you will purchase a new one.

Yours truly,

Captain Tempest Shadow

Anon looks in the envelope and finds the train ticket. He places it in his desk drawer for safekeeping. Then, he returns to the living area.

"So, did you get one?" Thunder Hooves asks.

"Yeah, I did," he replies, "Who else go one?"

Two other 1st Lieutenants raised their hooves.

"I got deployed to RGB Sphinx in Somnambula," Lighting Strikes says.

"I'm going to RGB Apache," Star Buster announces.

"Where the fuck is that?" Anon asks.

"It's 10 kilometers south of Appleoosa."

"And I got deployed to RGB Woodlands near Vanhoover," Thunder Hooves says, "So, where are you going to, Anon?"

"I'm going to RGB Gemstone in the Crystal Empire."

The officers around the table are shocked. Anon notices this and is confused.

"What's the fucking matter with you guys?" Anon asks.

"Dude. RGB Gemstone is the best place to get deployed. Cozy rooms, an expensive mess hall, and a kickass training ground. Better yet, the Crystal Empire mares are fucking amazing. Maybe you'll get some tail, Anon," says a captain named Crimson Spear.

"Likely not, Crimson, but on the other hand, it looks like me and the 25th have something to look forward to."

"Hate to tell you this, Anon, but your battalion won't go with you," Lightning Strikes says.

The announcement takes Anon aback. He looks at his fellow 1st Lieutenants with a shock on his face. Nowhere in OCS was there any motion of deployments.

"Hold on a second. What are you talking about?" Anon asks.

"As you know, after you complete OCS, you receive your permanent station. Some officers are stationed in other countries. When they go on leave, an officer of the same rank will replace them for the extent of leave. Whoever is the 1st Lieutenant is at RGB Gemstone; you got selected to replace them for the time being," Comet explains.

"That makes sense. Regardless, I must let the 25th know I'll be leaving. What concerns me is who will replace me while I'm gone."

"You'll probably get a notice in your office tomorrow morning," Thunder Hooves says.

"Okay. Thanks for the information."

Anon lays back down on the couch and continues to read. He gets to the fifth chapter before he decides to go to bed. Anon takes a shower and writes in his journal before going to bed. It takes a while for Anon to fall asleep due to his racing mind about his upcoming deployment. He is leaving his troops behind makes him nervous, and it makes him very sad because they are like the enormous dysfunctional family that Anon never had.

The following day, Anon wakes up and goes through his morning routine. He swings by his office to see if the notice of who his replacement is there. An envelope is on his desk. Anon picks up his clipboard with the 25th's assignments and the envelope and heads to the training grounds. As usual, all 500 Royal Guards are standing at attention, waiting for their orders. Anon stands before his troops as he opens the envelope. Once the notice is out, he looks up at his troops.

"Good morning, everyone. Before I get to our assignments, I have an announcement. Yesterday, I received a notice of a six-month deployment. I will leave for Royal Guard Base Gemstone in the Crystal Empire on the 16th. While I'm away, another 1st Lieutenant will temporarily take my place. My replacement is the 1st Lieutenant Ice Cube. I expect everyone to show her the same respect you give me. Is everyone clear on that?" Anon announces.

"YES, SIR!!!" the guards reply.

"Good. Today's assignment is the same as yesterday's, except the 82nd Aurora Squad will escort General Thunder Bird's daughter around Canterlot. You will meet her at the train station at 0800 hours. Sergeant Long Bow, I'll give you a map of the route you are supposed to take. Do not deviate from it unless necessary. Other than that, dismissed."

The 25th break up into their squads while Anon gives Sergeant Long Bow the map. Then, he walks back to his office. When he arrives, Sergeant Major Silk Web salutes him. He salutes back as he walks into his office. Once he gets situated, Anon begins writing a letter to Ice Cube dealing with the duties of the 25th Aurora Battalion. Since the 25th patrols the wealthy sectors and restricted zones below Canterlot, the duties are more strenuous than most other battalions.

As Anon writes, his eyes glance at the secret admirer letter he received the day before. He stops writing and looks at it. Specifically, the date of the meeting. Anon realizes that the date is the same as his deployment date. In a panic, Anon takes another sheet of paper and writes his letter in a few minutes. Anon then finishes the letter to Ice Cube. Once he finishes writing, he puts the letters in separate envelopes.

"Hey, Sergeant Major Web, I will deliver some letters. I'll be back later. Have the patrol reports put on my desk," Anon says as he leaves his office.

"Of course, sir. What do I tell Princess Celestia when she comes to see you?" Sergeant Major Web replies as she smiles slyly.

Anon pauses as he slips on his helmet.

"Tell Princess Celestia she can wait in my office until I return."

"You know, sir, it's impolite to keep a mare waiting like that."

Anon pauses again and shakes his head.

"Just tell her she can wait in my office, Sergeant Major," Anon groans.

"Yes, sir."

Anon delivers the letter to 1st Lieutenant Ice Cube's desk sergeant. Then, he finds the Royal Guard, who gave him the secret admirer letter from the mystery mare. The guard had been delivering the letters to Anon for months. However, asking the said guard to deliver a letter to the secret admirer is awkward. The guard giving a sly grin didn't make things any easier, either. Then, Anon walks back to his office. When he arrives, Sergeant Major Silk Web has a smug grin, and she chuckles as Anon approaches.

"Something funny, Sergeant Major?" Anon asks flatly.

"Just your inexperience with mares, sir," she replies.

"Do me a favor and keep your amusement at my inexperience to yourself."

"No promises, sir, but I'll try."

Anon rolls his eyes as he opens the door. Princess Celestia is sitting in one of the chairs in front of his desk. She is reading the Daring Do book that she bought yesterday. Anon closes the door behind him and takes off his helmet.

"Morning, Tia," Anon greets.

"Good morning, Anon," Celestia says as she stands up.

She hugs Anon tightly, and then she nuzzles him. This makes his heart race. Anon is used to Celestia's tight hugs but being nuzzled is still a new concept. He knows that nuzzling is a big part of pony culture, but he still rarely experiences it. Celestia notices Anon's increased heart rate and releases him. She has a concerned look on her face.

"Is everything okay, Anon?" she asks.

"Yeah, I'm still not used to the nuzzling thing yet. I know and get that I should be used to it by now, but it is still something that I'm not sure I'm comfortable with."

"It's okay that you're still not sure. Take all the time you need, Anon."

"Thanks, Tia. So, what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

"I wanted to come to see you and see if you wanted to escort me around the 5th and 6th Sectors. It has been over there."

"First off, Tia. I have some patrol reports to look over and file. Secondly, those sectors are high-crime areas. For your safety, I would need to pull one of my squads to come with us so we don't get jumped by some street gang."

"Must I remind you that I'm one of Equestria's most powerful magic users, and you are one of the Royal Guards' most skilled soldiers? I think we'll be fine. Besides, I looked through your reports and filed them for you."

"Thanks for filing reports, but that being said, I want to avoid a fight as much as possible."

"Okay, then, as your princess and commander-in-chief, I command you to escort me through Sectors 5 and 6."

"Since that is a director order, I can't refuse. Let me put on my helmet. And Luna, please stop eavesdropping!"

There's a moment of silence before Princess Luna opens the door. An unamused look is on her face.

"How did you know I was standing outside the door," she asks.

"I saw you tailing me earlier. Honestly, you are getting rusty trying to sneak up on me."

"Perhaps I wasn't trying hard enough on purpose. I'll have you know that I've snuck on twenty minotaurs and killed them all during the Equestrian-Minotaur War."

"I've heard that story before because you've told me that one hundred times."

"Well, my mistake. On another note, I wish to accompany you and my sister to the 5th and 6th Sectors. The more, the merrier."

Anon looks to Princess Celestia to see if she wants her sister to accompany them. Celestia smiles and nods her head. So, the princesses and Anon leave his office and walk to the street of Canterlot.

A small part of Anon wants to be alone with Princess Celestia. He wants to have a one-on-one conversation about his upcoming deployment. However, he understands that the two sisters are close, so it's no surprise that Celestia wants her sister to tag along.

The three friends walk down the main road that runs through the center of Canterlot. When they arrive in Sector 5, Anon's hand drifts towards the hilt of his xiphos. When Anon was a 2nd Lieutenant, he guarded these sectors and led the 10th Aurora Company. The number of arrests that he and the 10th made was astronomical. Eventually, two other battalions were placed there to reduce the crime rate. The fallacy is that most ponies believe that Canterlot is perfect inside and out is laughable to those in poorer sectors. Most Lunar, Solar, and Royal Guards will tell the general public that isn't true.

When ponies approach the princesses, Anon stands between them and sticks his hand out.

"Hey, that's far enough!" Anon announces.

"It's okay, 1st Lieutenant. They aren't causing any harm," Princess Celestia says.

"Sorry, Your Highness. I'm just worried about your safety."

Anon backs off, but his hand is still on his hilt.

Dozens of ponies come out of their homes, alleys, and stores to come to meet the princesses. All of the ponies make Anon very nervous. One of the ponies could be a changeling sleeper assassin waiting months to kill one or both princesses. He tries to have the growing crowd stand a reasonable distance from the princesses, but it isn't any use. There is a point when a mare shoves Anon. Anon has half a mind to arrest her for assaulting a Royal Guard, but he changes his mind. He prays to the Virgin Mary that he receives backup soon because over three dozen ponies are too much for one Royal Guard to handle and keep an eye on. Then, 2nd Lieutenant Red Sun and six Royal Guards appear in a bright red flash. They form a semi-circle around the princesses and Anon, with their spears in the ready position. They begin shouting orders to back up. The ponies comply with the orders.

"You could have told me about escorting the princesses to this sector, sir," Red Sun snaps as she shoots an annoyed glare at Anon.

"I was ordered not to bring any additional guards," Anon responds defensively.

"By who?"

Anon points his thumb at the princesses in response. Red Sun's gaze relaxes.

"That makes sense. Now, your orders, sir?" Red Sun asks.

"I think you are asking the wrong pony, 2nd Lieutenant," Anon replies. "Your orders, Your Highness?"

"Three-by-two column formation. Formal escort to the westernmost side of Sector 6. My sister and I to see my subjects," Princess Celestia says.

"Roger that, Your Highness. Alright, guards, you heard her! Three-by-two-column formation! Move it!" Anon orders.

"Yes, sir!" the guards replied in unison.

The guards move into formation while Anon and Red Sun stand at the Princess's side.

Red Sun's horn glows when the small group moves forward, and Anon's shield and spear appear in a red flash. Anon slides the shield on his left arm. He lets the weight bring his arm down. Then, he grabs his spear.

"You should start carrying these around when you go out, sir," Red Sun says.

"I'll start doing that when you start carrying your spear. I'm sure that shaft grows fungus since it never leaves your quarters."

In a red flash, Red Sun's spear appears. She mouths "fuck you" and sticks out her tongue. Anon smirks as he marches forward.

"That's what I thought, 2nd Lieutenant," Anon says.

Anon sips his bourbon and tells the princesses a story about his life on Earth. They decided to go to a nice Italian-style restaurant in Sector 1 of Canterlot for dinner. It's been a while since he's told anyone about his life back home. The last time he talked about his family was before he joined the Royal Guard.

"Brandon and I got tired of those popular assholes treating Silas like garbage. Moving from Ireland wasn't easy, to begin with, so being picked on for being Irish made things worse for him. So, Brandon checked around and began talking to some connections of his. He tried to find anything we could use to get some dirt on these kids. He found out that the varsity cheer captain, Brittany, was having a party at her house while her parents were on vacation. I think it was their anniversary. Silas and I went to the party and waited about 400 feet from the house in a grove of trees. The party was an absolute rager. Booze, loud music, food, and PLENTY of people were there. To amuse ourselves, we counted the number of people in the house. Over 60 people were at the party. I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, called the sheriff's office, and filed a noise complaint. Say the words teenagers are partying, underage drinking, and loud music to a sheriff's deputy in a noise complaint; they will get bent out of shape. Within ten minutes, six police officers show up. Several kids were arrested. It turns out that Brittny's older brother, Max, was there. He was the supplier of the booze. As you would think, he was arrested for serving alcohol to minors. It was the revenge plot of the century, and I enjoyed it."

"I must admit, I didn't take you as a petty person, friend Anonymous," Luna admits.

"We have a saying back home: If you fuck with one of us, you fuck with all of us," Anon responds.

"It seems like you had some comradery with your friends," Celestia says.

"Yeah. You become a family when you grow up together and do everything together. A dysfunctional family, one at best, but it's still a family. If you watch any branch of EAF, hell, even the Wondercolts, they act like a family. I heard a quote in a war movie once. The soldier said, 'We are family, Caleb, like it or not. We may not have the same mother, but we damn sure have the same fucking uncle."

Celestia looks at Anon with a confused expression, "Same uncle? I'm afraid I don't understand."

Anon explains the history of Uncle Sam. He also explains how he was used in patriotic and enlistment posters. Ano tries to draw what Uncle Sam looks like, but his drawing skills aren't exactly like Leonardo de Vinci's. The princesses are amazed at how a singular, fictional character can motivate thousands of people to join the military.

"So, any big plan for the next few weeks," Luna asks, trying to converse.

"I'm being deployed to the Crystal Empire in a couple of weeks," Anon responds.

Both of the princesses don't seem shocked at Anon's announcement. They knew of Anon's deployment but not how Anon had expected them to. Little did he know Princess Celestia had lied to him.

When Anon asked them about their lack of surprise, Princess Celestia said Captain Tempest had told them about it. Anon didn't think twice about it. He talks about the other deployment locations of the other 1st Lieutenants that he was friends with.

On the surface, Princess Celestia acts excited about Anon's first deployment as a Royal Guard. Deep down, she's disappointed. A few months, she got Anon back as a best friend. Now, he's leaving for a six-month-long deployment. Being around Anon gives Princess Celestia a sense of happiness that she's never had before. That feeling makes her heart race and makes her feel flustered. When Anon compliments her on something, Celestia blushes at his words. Despite all this, she must be strong and support Anon as he's deployed. She knows it won't be easy not seeing him every evening or having his constant companionship. Anon gives her something that nopony can give, not even her sister. That feeling is being in love.

The past two weeks have flown by for Anon. His upcoming deployment made everything he did everything he did, and the days seemed to go faster. Finally, the day has arrived. Anon goes through his morning routine as he usually does every morning. The last normal thing he did was address the 25th Aurora Battalion. He stands in front of all 500 of his troops and gives them an impassioned speech, telling them that he's enjoyed commanding them for almost two years and what an adventure it has been for him. Then, he introduces 1st Lieutenant Ice Cube, the 1st Lieutenant who will replace him. He squats down and shakes Ice Cube's hoof to signify respect and a symbolic power transfer. Then, Anon gives Ice Cube his clipboard so he can give that day's assignment. Once Ice Cube finishes, he dismisses the battalion. The Royal Guards of the 25th don't leave for their assignments immediately. They stay behind to bid Anon farewell and wish him luck on deployment. A few tears are shed, which makes Anon confused and slightly uncomfortable, but he allows it. He understands that ponies are emotionally attached to the people around them. So, he lets them say their goodbyes in their way.

Once all goodbyes were said, Anon returned to his room to gather the rest of the possessions he was taking with him to the Crystal Empire. He stuffs what he can into his backpack and ties his shield to it using some twine he bought. After that, Anon checks his desk for any more items he might need. He finds the secret admirer note that details the mares want to reveal herself to Anon. Anon had forgotten about the meeting. He shrugs his shoulders and puts the note in his backpack.

Anon lays on his bed and takes a short nap. He wakes up about an hour later and gathers his gear. Anon then bids farewell to the room that was his home since his promotion to 1st Lieutenant.

On his way to the station, Anon swings by Flasks and Mugs to say goodbye to Smooth Bourbon and Sweet Mimosa. They wish him good luck on his deployment. The two give Anon a big brown sack. It's a care package. In the sack are a few of Anon's favorite snacks and two bottles of his favorite bourbon. He thanks them for the gift and leaves the bar.

As Anon gets closer to the train station, he becomes more and more nervous. His hands are clammy, and sweaty is beginning to bead on his forehead. His stomach is also feeling queasy. Anon felt this nervous when it came to meeting someone new, especially had never someone of the gender. He removes his helmet to wipe off the sweat on his forehead. Then, he adjusts the sword on his belt to wear it hangs parallel to his leg. He does this only when he meets the princesses or one of his commanding officers, not a random citizen.

What the fuck is wrong with me? You are just meeting some random mare that has a crush on you. It's not like you are meeting one of the Generals of the EAF. Get yourself together, man.

When Anon arrives at the train station, he sees that the station is packed with ponies—more than usual. Anon partially has to push past ponies to get to the train. He stands next to one of the pillars close to the train. Then, he waits for the secret admirer. He checks the time on the clock that's above the ticket booth. It's 10:50 am, and the mare is nowhere to be found. Anon pulls out the letter and rereads it. He's at the correct spot, although he is a little early.

Anon waits for ten minutes before putting on his backpack. The conductor blows the whistle and announces a final boarding call. Anon knows he can't wait for long for the secret admirer. He waits for thirty seconds more before he steps towards the train. He assumes that the mare got cold hooves. Anon understands if that is the case and walks onto the train.

"ANONYMOUS!!" someone shouts.

Anon recognizes the voice. It's Princess Celestia.

He turns around. Princess Celestia is standing in the same spot the mare said she would be. The time on the clock is 11:00 am. Anon is stunned. His hand slowly drifts to his mouth to cover it. He can't believe it. He doesn't want to believe it. Princess Celestia is his secret admirer.

It all makes sense now. It explains why Princess Celestia always wants to spend time with him. It makes sense why she blushes every time Anon compliments her. It also explains why Princess Celestia wasn't surprised to hear about Anon's deployment. Captain Tempest didn't even tell her about it. The letter that Anon wrote to the secret admirer was given to Celestia.

Anon is so filled with shock that he can't move. He can see a look of concern on Celestia's face. His heart rate increases as he continues to maintain contact with eye contact with Princess Celestia. His queasy stomach is not doing him any favors. A flurry of thoughts and questions about his best friend having feelings for him is going through his mind. Anon's hand falls from his face. He walks to his assigned seat as the train begins to move. He sits down and looks out the window. Princess Celestia is still standing by the pillar that concerned look. Anon adverts her gaze and looks at his sandals.

Awkward. That's what he feels. Pure and untainted awkwardness. This feeling from Hell makes Anon wants to vomit. He hates this feeling with every ounce of his body. Anon knows what just happened, and the awkwardness will strain his relationship with Princess Celestia. All of this is making Anon confused and frustrated. He picks up one of his bourbon bottles and opens it. He takes a giant swig of his whiskey. Anon wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. Then, he leans back in his seat. He begins to ponder Celestia's feelings for him now since he has some alcohol in him.

How long has Tia liked me? Was it when I saved her life at the Summer Sun Festival? It makes sense, but come to think of it, the signs of her liking were around long before that. It sure as Hell explains why she was adamant about me not joining the Royal Guard. Hold on. There was that time she was spooning me when I was drunk. Holy shit! That was around three years ago. Has she liked me for that long? How have I not noticed the signs? Am I that oblivious, or did I notice the signs and just repressed them? Maybe that's it. Fucking, damn it! I thought I had grown out of it, Anon thinks.

Anon takes another big sip of his bourbon. As he is last in thought, he doesn't hear the conductor asking for his ticket. It takes the pegasus stallion three more tries before he gets Anon's attention. He taps on the shoulder, which brings Anon back to the real world.

"Oh, sorry, sir. Do you need something?" Anon says.

"Your ticket, sir," the stallion replies flatly.

"Sorry about that. I was lost in thought."

Anon reaches into his backpack and pulls out his ticket. The conductor puts the ticket in his mouth and into a ticket holder. Then, he leans back in his seat.

His mind is still in a state of turmoil about the whole situation. He starts thinking about his feelings about all of this.

On the one hand, he's honestly very flattered and honored that the Princess of the Sun has feelings for him. He couldn't help but feel a sense of pride and accomplishment at the thought of catching the attention of someone so highly esteemed in Equestria. He couldn't even pull the "unattractive" girls back home. Not even the nerdy, secretly freaky girls went after him.

On the other hand, he feels overwhelmed and uncertain about how to handle the situation. He cares about Celestia very much. She had a special place in his heart because she was the first pony to give a shit about him. Anon didn't want to do anything to compromise her position and reputation as a princess and him as a 1st Lieutenant. He also worries about his feelings for Celestia. Anon still doesn't know about dating outside his species. That mental block he put up in his mind three years ago still keeps him from even dating a pony. However, Celestia could be the exception. The level of love and kindness that she showed towards him is something she didn't show anyone else, not even her sister. They understood each other unlike anypony else, and their relationship wouldn't be much different if they dated. Despite all of that, she's still a pony.

Anon struggles to understand his emotions. he doesn't know how to him and isn't sure how to proceed. He realizes he must speak to a certain princess about all of this. Conveniently, he's going to the city-state of which that pony rules. So, Anon takes off his helmet. Then, he takes a nap to sleep off his nervousness and uncertainty.

A few hours later, Anon is awakened by the conductor. He snorts as the conductor shakes Anon awake.

"Excuse me, 1st Lieutenant. We will arrive in the Crystal Empire in five minutes."

"Thank you, sir," Anon says as he stretches. "How'd you know I'm a 1st Lieutenant."

"I was a Lunar Guard back in the day, so I recognized your rank insignia. I was a sergeant when I retired," the middle-aged conductor says.

"Thank you for your service, sir," Anon thanks as he puts on his helmet.

"You're welcome, and thank you for choosing to serve. I heard of a non-pony Royal Guard, but I never thought I'd have the opportunity to meet you."

"You're not the first pony to say that to me."

"I'd imagine so, 1st Lieutenant. I'd also imagine that some of those stuffy nobles in Canterlot weren't too happy about you becoming a commissioned officer."

"They weren't, but that was the entertaining part."

"Was it hard dealing with the discrimination from the Canterlot elite because you aren't a pony."

Anon understands where the conductor is coming from. Every day since the founding of the Lunar Guard, they faced heavy discrimination. Since the nobles believed the thestrals were nothing more than dirt, anypony who joined the Lunar Guard received the same amount of hate and persecution. What amazes Anon is that ponies who currently serve or have served in the Lunar Guard are not ashamed of their service. To them, it's a badge of honor and courage.

"Not really. It was more annoying than anything else. I think the Canterlot elite was to bully me out of the Royal Guard, but I stuck to my sword and marched forward with pride."

"Hell, yeah, brother."

Soon, the train pulls into the station. Anon gathers his things and prepares to disembark. He makes sure all of his gear is secured. Then, he looks down at the conductor.

"I guess this is where I get off. It was nice meeting you," Anon says.

"You, too."

"By the way, what's your name, Sergeant?"

"I'm Rolling Hills. Yours?"

"I am 1st Lieutenant Anonymous of the Royal Guard."

Anon stands up, snaps to attention, and salutes Rolling Hills. This surprises the conductor. A shocked expression is on his face. Then, Rolling Hills stands at attention and salutes back. Everypony else on the train car is confused at the spectacle but entertained at seeing an older soldier and a younger soldier show each other respect with a traditional military salute.

"Sergeant Rolling Hills of the Lunar Guard, dismissed," Anon says.

"Thank you, 1st Lieutenant Anonymous," he responds.

The doors to the train car open, and Anon turns around. He leaves the train car.

Anon is amazed at the station's beauty when he steps onto the train platform. It is wholly made of different crystals. It shimmers as the sun's rays shine down on it. Anon keeps walking, staring at the beauty of it all until he sees eight Crystal Imperial Guards standing at attention at the base of the platforms.

The first six guards have armor shaped similarly to the Solar and Royal Guards' armor, except the color scheme is different. The helmets and body armor are blue-grey. Their crests are cyan. The officer, a captain, has a bright pink crest. Each pony appears to be crystalline, except for the last one. The final guard is much different than the rest. He wears the same armor as a commissioned officer in the Royal Guard. The guard has a white body and blue hair. When Anon looks for rank insignia, there isn't one. This confuses Anon.

"You must be 1st Lieutenant Anonymous," the Royal Guard says.

"Yes, sir, that's me. With all due respect, who are you exactly?" Anon asks.

"Oh, where are my manners? I'm Princes Shining Armor of the Crystal Empire."

Anon's eyes widen. His face turns red from embarrassment. He snaps to attention and salutes Shining Armor.

"I'm so sorry, Your Majesty, I didn't recognize you," Anon apologizes.

Shining Armor waves his hoof dismissively. Anon can see that he has a smile on his face.

"At ease, Anonymous. It's okay. Since we've never met, you can get a pass for that."

Anon relaxes. "Thank you, sir."

"Since you are a friend of Princess Celestia's, I decided to welcome you personally to the Crystal Empire. Along with my bodyguard, of course. Let me show you to your room and then show you around. Captain, three-by-tow column."

"As you wish, Your Highness. Gentlemen, you heard him! Move it!"

The small group walks forward as Shining Armor leads them down the street.

Shining Armor rattles off facts about the Crystal Empire while Anon gazes at the crystalline buildings and ponies. The various colors of crystals are satisfying to Anon rather than overwhelming. He doesn't admit this out loud, but the Crystal Empire's multitude of colors is far better than Canterlot's standard white, gold, and purple colors. That's one of the most significant differences between this city-state and Canterlot.

Another big difference is the way the crystal ponies treat Anon. They don't look at him disgustingly and comment rudely about his appearance. The words "green monkey" or "ape creature" are not ever uttered. The ponies who walk past Anon welcome him to the Crystal Empire. Many even ask him his name. Of course, this is after they bow to Shining Armor.

Eventually, the small group arrives at the base of the enormous Crystal Castle. This confuses Anon because he doesn't see the Royal Guard barracks or the Equestrian Royal Embassy anywhere. He hasn't seen any of the Royal Guards stationed here.

"Your Highness, where are the barracks for the Royal Guard?" Anon asks.

"The barracks are about five blocks that way," Shining Armor points out.

"How come we aren't at the barracks?"

"My wife decided to have you sleep in the castle rather than the barracks."

"With all due respect towards your wife and you, sir, but I think it would be more appropriate for me to stay with the troops."

"It would, and I agree with you, but my wife insisted that you stay in the castle. I decided not to argue with her."

"Oh, okay. I guess I'm staying in the castle because I'm friends with Princess Celestia?"

"Yep. You are right."

"Por supuesto." (Of course) Anon mutters.

Shining Armor looks up at Anon.

"What did you say?" he asks.

"Nothing important, sir."

Shining Armor shrugs his shoulders and dismisses his bodyguard and the captain. They march away as Anon is shown to his room.

The inside of the castle is somewhat similar to the Canterlot Castle. There are relics, paintings, and artifacts in almost every hallway. Very few of them are made of crystal. Also, there are Imperial Guards at almost every entrance. These guards have a pale-purple crest instead of a cyan one. Their armor is the same as the bodyguards. Every guard salutes Shining Armor as he walks by. Some guards give Anon a strange look but quickly shrug it off. When they pass some maids, the mares give Shining Armor a deep bow. Then, they greet Anon and introduce themselves.

The maids at Canterlot Castle don't even acknowledge me when I'm around, Anon thinks.

Eventually, they arrive at the room where Anon will stay for six months. Anon opens the door and is amazed. The room looks almost exactly like the room Anon stayed in as a handyman. The only difference is the crystalline features of the room and its size, which the room is smaller.

The bed sheets are a deep blue, and the bed frame is made of pyrite. Anon chuckles at the attempt to make his bed with the colors of the Royal Guards. Anon walks into the bathroom. The bathroom is a lot larger than Anon is used to. It is fully stocked with the toiletries he will need for the rest of his deployment. Everything is made of crystal, like everything else in the castle and the empire.

Anon leaves the bathroom and checks out the rest of the room. A large tanzanite desk with a kerosene lamp faces a large window overlooking the city. Next to the door, there is a large dresser made of green quartz. Anon isn't sure he even needs it, considering he only has armor, spare tunics, and underwear. Next to the dresser is a large wooden armor stand for Anon's armor type.

"What do you think?" Shining Armor asks.

"To be honest with you, Your Highness, it's more than I deserve," Anon responds.

"I'm glad you like it. I'll leave you to finish unpacking your room. The liaison you'll work with during your deployment will come by your room around 6 pm to get you for a party my wife is throwing in your honor."

"A party? Why do I need a party?"

"I couldn't tell you, 1st Lieutenant. Either way, I look forward to seeing you at the party."

"Do I need to wear anything specific?"

"Your armor will be fine. There will be some high-ranking officers from our military there, so I'd shine up that armor and wear a clean tunic if I were you."

"Roger, that."

Shining Armor walks out of the bedroom and closes the door behind him.

Anon removes his helmet, chest plate, shin guards, and gauntlets and puts them on the armor stand. Then, he takes off his sword belt and baldric strap. Anon hangs it on the stand. He sighs as he enjoys the lack of weight on his body that he feels every night.

Anon begins unpacking his gear and organizing his room. He designates two of the eight drawers for his underwear and his tunics. His notebook and his writing utensils go to the desk. He puts his Smooth Bourbon and Sweet Mimosa care package on top of the dresser for safekeeping. Finally, Anon pulls out his oldest companion from his backpack. He looks down at Thunderclap with a content look. The last time Anon removed Thunderclap from his backpack was the day before Anon went to BootCamp. Anon puts his favorite stuffed animal underneath the bedsheets to hide his sentimental toy from his childhood.

Once everything is organized and squared away, Anon pulls a rag and a can of Equestrian steel polish from another compartment in his backpack. He sits on the floor as he polishes each of the golden and purple armor plates until each one shines like the crystals surrounding him. Then, he polishes his sword. After each piece is polished, Anon looks at the sun to see the time since there is no clock in his room. It's close to five o'clock in the evening. He goes to the bathroom to take a nice, long shower.

Anon steps into the shower and lets out a sigh of relief at the hot water. As he soaks, Anon can't help but contemplate his day.

The train ride had been long and bumpy, but the view of the oversized city-state was worth it. The sparkling buildings of the Crystal Empire are a sight to behold. Anon also thinks he had been given a private room in the Crystal Castle instead of the standard 12-foot-by-8-foot bedroom, with a twin-sized bed and small desk. He knows he doesn't deserve such luxurious accommodations but is nonetheless grateful for the treatment. However, the most significant thing on Anon's mind is the revelation that Princess Celestia has feelings for him, and he can't shake that thought from his mind. He can't believe that his best friend, the ruler of Equestria, would have feelings for a low-ranking commissioned officer like him. Anon still doesn't know what to do with this information, and it makes him feel both flattered and unsure.

Anon cleans himself and rinses the soap off. Then, he dries himself and puts on clean underwear and a tunic. He hangs up his towel and takes clean pair of underwear and a clean tunic. He hangs up his towel and takes his dirty clothes into his bedroom. Then, Anon puts on each piece of his gear, save for his helmet. He sits on the bed, waiting for the liaison to take him to the party. It isn't long before Anon hears a knock on his door. He walks over to the door and opens it. An earth pony Imperial Guard that wears cyan-crested armor stands in the doorway.

The guard is a pale yellow-bodied and silver-maned pegasus mare. On her shoulders are the 1st Lieutenant bars, reminiscent of the 1st Lieutenant bars of the US Army. She carries the same sword on her hip that the EAF carries, but it looks made of crystal-steel material.

"I assume you are the liaison?" Anon asks.

"Yes, sir," the mare says. "I'm 1st Lieutenant Silver Quartz."

"I am 1st Lieutenant Anonymous. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Same here, sir. Let me show you to the ballroom. The guests are waiting."

"Alright, 1st Lieutenant Quartz. Lead the way."

Deployment: Crystal Empire PART 2

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Chapter 13

1st Lieutenants Anonymous and Silver Quartz walk down the crystalline hallways to the bathroom. Silver Quartz asks Anon a barrage of questions as they walk about himself and his job as a Royal Guard. Anon can't say he isn't annoyed by the questions. However, he answers the questions honestly.

One thing he notices about Silver Quartz is how young she is. Anon is a few months shy of being 26. Silver Quartz, on the other hoof, is only 20 years old. According to her, she joined when she was 19. Also, Silver Quartz is a bubbly, strange mare. This is very uncharacteristic of a commissioned officer. Then again, she is younger than most officers Anon had met in his three years in the Royal Guard.

"So...do you have a marefriend?" Silver Quartz asks.

"No," Anon responds flatly.

"Why not?"

"I don't date ponies."

"Don't you think that's a little racist?"

"That's not what I meant. Where I am from, ponies don't talk and aren't as colorful and aware as they are here. Back home, they are used as tools, pets, or a mode of transportation. Soldiers used to ride them into battle. Farmers used them for agricultural purposes."

"Oh. Why?"

"I don't know. Probably for the same reason, everyone else has used horses for the past few millenniums."

"Why don't your ponies talk?"

Now, Anon is getting annoyed with Silver Quartz. The endless amount of questions is beginning to make Anon's head hurt. He does not need a headache before a party is thrown in his honor with a few high-ranking officers in the Crystal Imperial Guard. So, to quell the hail of endless questions, Anon stops, squats down, and gives Silver Quartz his all too infamous black stare. He looks the crystal pony square in the eyes and speaks in a low voice.

"Silver Quartz, please, shut up. You're giving me a fucking headache," he says.

The way the request is asked sends shivers down Silver Quartz's spine. The hardened glare from the towering 1st Lieutenant makes her legs shake. Anon notices this and relaxes his gaze. He stands back up.

"Look, Silver, I don't mind answering your question, but I will lose my patience when they are non-stop and headache-inducing. Please don't take this the wrong way, but you are getting on my nerves. Tone it down with questions; I think the next six months will go smoothly. Am I clear?" Anon says.

Silver Quartz nodded her head.

"Glad we are on the same page."

The two 1st Lieutenants walk down the hallway towards the ballroom. When they approach the doors, a lot of noise comes from behind them. There is a high-pitched, shrill voice that Anon recognizes almost instantly. It's not a voice that one can easily forget. It's Pinkie Pie's voice. It doesn't surprise Anon that Princess Cadance invited Pinkie to throw the party for him.

Pinkie's shrill voice catches Silver Quart's attention. Her face contorted to a look of confusion appear on her face. She looks up at Anon.

"Who the heck is that?" Silver asks.

"Ponyville's Number One Part Planner: Pinkamina Diane Pie," Anon sighs in response.

"Isn't she one of the Elements of Harmony?"

"Yep. For some reason, she has a habit of showing up when you least anticipate it. Her hyperactivity and ability to eat pounds of sugar are something to look out for. It's a part of her schtick."

"I'm not that annoying, am I?"

"From what I've seen, not entirely. Sure, the overabundance of questions is getting on all of the seven trillion nerves in my body. Pinkie isn't annoyed at first. Her personality is...an acquired taste. Like mine, for example."

Anon opens the doors to the ballroom, and they walk in. Anon is instantly mesmerized by the beauty of the ballroom. The walls shine and twinkle as the light from a giant chandelier hits them. If he's being honest, Anon thinks that the ballroom has the one in Canterlot Castle beat by a mile. The ballroom has white, blue, pink, and purple walls and windows. Anon guesses the colors represent the colors of Prince Shining Armor and Princess Cadance.

Then, a shrill scream breaks Anon out of his trance. It's Pinkie's voice.

"ANON!!!" she screams.

The entire room goes dead silent. Over a dozen ponies look at Pinkie and then look directly at Anon. Anon and Shining Armor turn red and their bodies heat up from embarrassment. Pinkie sprints towards Anon at speeds that only a cheetah can run. The only thing that Anon can see is a pink blur. He has no time to react before Pinkie is mere inches from his face. However, a magenta aura surrounds her at the last second, stopping the imminent head-on collision. Anon leans to the side and sees Shining Armor, wearing his ceremonial uniform, walking towards him. Anon and Silver Quartz snap to attention and salute.

"1st Lieutenant's Anonymous and Silver Quartz, at ease," Shining Armor orders.

Anon and Silver Quarz relax.

"1st Lieutenant Anonymous, I apologize for the Element of Laughter's behavior. I told her to CONTAIN her excitement to prevent making a scene, but it seems I've overestimated her ability to do so," Shining Armor says.

"I accept your apology, Your Highness. No harm done," Anon replies.

"Ooo, it's cool to see Anon and Shiny be all soldiery and serious," Pinkie squeals.

"Not helping," Anon and Shining Armor say through gritted teeth.

"Now, you are all super duper serious."

Anon gives Pinkie a glare that sends shivers down her spine. This new glare of Anon is one that he has developed during the past three years. He uses it during arrests, interrogations, and sparing. It is more intimidating than his blank stare. When Anon's helmet is on, the glare becomes ten times worse.

Pinkie automatically clams up as Anon continues to glare at her.

"Now, promise me that you'll contain your excitement for the rest of the evening, or we'll contain it my way," Shining Armor orders.

"I promise. Cross my heart, hope to fly, and stick a cupcake in my eye," Pinkie says.

Shining Armor releases Pinkie, and she drops to the floor.

Anon squats down to get eye level with Pinkie. The glare on his face is gone and replaced with a warm smile. Anon removed his helmet. He sits next to him and reaches out to Pinkie with open arms. A big smile returns as she wraps her favorite human in a big hug.

"This is a big event for Prince Shining Armor, Princess Cadance, and me. I get that you are excited to see me after three years. Now's not the time to embarrass us. I have to be all serious because of all the CIDF officers here. I'm willing to bet they have high expectations for me. I have to keep up appearances for now. If you can contain yourself, I promise I'll hang out with you later. Okay?" Anon explains as he releases Pinkie.

"Okie, dokie, artichoke," Pinkie replies quietly.

Anon pats Pinkie on the head as he stands up. He slides on his helmet and adjusts his cuirass. Everypony is still staring at him as if he were pecker-swinging.

Shining Armor is still red in the face from embarrassment. When Anon and Silver Quartz stand beside Shining Armor, he clears his throat to speak to the awaiting audience.

"Mares and gentlecolts, it is an honor and my pleasure to introduce the Equestrian Armed Force's first human Royal Guard, 1st Lieutenant Anonymous. He is the temporary commanding officer of the Royal Guard garrison based here," Shining Armor announces as he gestures toward Anon.

There is light applause as Anon nods toward the crowd of crystal ponies. Flashes of cameras fill his vision as newspaper reporters take pictures of Anon. Princess Cadance stands behind the crowd, a head taller than most of her subjects. Anon expects to see a smile on her face, but there is none. Instead, there is a look of concern. Anon decides to talk to her later. For now, he has other ponies to speak to.

Shining Armor introduces Anon to the Crystal Imperial Defense Forces' commanding general, High General Diamond Spear. He is a soft-spoken but strong-willed stallion. His dark and light shades of grey match the purple and gold uniform he is wearing. What surprises Anon is that the general treats him like an equal rather than a subordinate. General Diamond Spear reminds Anon of the Generals of the EAF. The average general in the EAF isn't as kind regarding lower-ranking officers.

Then, Anon is introduced to a few more generals, some colonels, and field marshals (the CIDF equivalent of a commander). Most of them are more interested in the fact they are talking to a human rather than his capabilities as a Royal Guard. However, Anon understands this since, as far as anyone knows, he is the only human that has been to Equestria.

After a while of social interaction, he excuses himself to get food. However, Anon takes his plate and glass to the balcony that faces West. He leans against the railing as he munches on some olives. In between bites, he sips on some water.

Anon looks up at the moon and basks in the night that Luna has created. Sometimes, Luna will design the night sky to reflect how she's feeling or what kind of mood she's in. Over the past few years, Anon has discovered what night is which. Tonight is a happy night. The moon is full and bright. The light makes Anon's gold-colored armor shine. Thousands of stars twinkle across the dark sky. A gentle, cool breeze blows. Anon closes his eyes and smiles. It's nights like these that Anon loves most, especially when he needs some peace. He needed it because his biggest life revelation hit him in the face earlier that day. Anon wanted some alone time to think about it.

"Auntie Luna did an amazing job tonight, didn't she?" a familiar voice says.

Anon turns around and stands at attention. He salutes Cadence, as he does with every royal.

"At ease, Anon. For future reference, when we are in private, you can drop the whole military act," Cadence says.

"Noted. To respond to your question, yes, she did," Anon responds.

"Are you okay? You didn't hang around for long, and considering this a party thrown for you, it's a little odd."

"I just needed some air. Meeting stuffy nobles and high brass for an extended period warrants a break."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"I'm starting to think you are lying, Anon."

Anon furrows his eyebrows. Cadence's persistence in his well-being is very odd. It's especially odd, considering that Anon hasn't shown any distress since he arrived in the Crystal Empire. Something is off, but Anon can't put a finger on it. Then, he considers Cadence's official royal title: Mi Amora Cadenza, The Princess of Love. Anon has a hunch about why Cadence is asking about his well-being. It doesn't surprise him at all.

"Cadence, you're asking me about Princess Celestia's confession, right?" Anon asks with a raised eyebrow.

Cadence calmly nodded her to confirm Anon's suspicions.

"I take it the months upon month's worth of secret admirer notes were also your idea," Anon says.

"They were. Did they work, though?"

"If you are talking about them concealing Celestia's identity for several months, they did. It took a last-minute realization and playing a proverbial jigsaw puzzle to figure it out. Unfortunately, it isn't going in my favor."

"What do you mean by 'not playing in my favor'?"

"Processing the information of the Princess of the fucking Sun is in love with me. Can you fucking believe it?"

Anon laughs as he tosses a few pieces of cubbed cheddar cheese in his mouth. He washes it down with the rest of the water. He sets the glass down next to his plate and then stares at the houses below.

"If your question wasn't rhetorical, then yes, I could believe my aunt is in love with you. From what Auntie Celestia and Twilight wrote, you are an honorable, strong-willed, and courageous soldier. You saved my aunt's life from a would-be assassin at the Summer Sun Festival. They also said you were caring and sweet. Those are the ideal qualities that mares will look for in a stallion. It so happens that Auntie Celestia has seen those qualities in you. Of course, she finds you attractive," Princess Cadence explains.

"As good as those qualities are, is she willing to accept my bad qualities? I drink a lot, get drunk when I can, and swear too much that I'd make a sailor blush with shame. You see, Cadence, I'm no better than the common soldier," Anon says.

"If I were a betting mare, those 'negative' qualities are how to mentality block yourself from loving somepony."

Cadence tilts her head to the side. She squints at Anon as if she is studying him. This makes him extremely uncomfortable and slightly nervous.

"Or...to keep yourself from loving somepony again," Cadence continues.

Anon's stomach drops. He stumbles back a bit as he breathes heavily. The Princess of Love read him like a book out of the four princesses. Not even the wise Princess Celestia could do that. All of the childhood memories that Anon had suppressed over the years come flooding back. Then, a specific emotion that he had learned to control boils over. In a fit of rage, Anon grabs his water glass. He looks down at it and grits his teeth. He clutches the glass as hard as he can. Cadence backs up as she sees the enraged look on Anon's face. She had only seen this look from a soldier preparing for a charge.

"CHLOE, YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!" Anon screams as he throws the glass over the ledge.

Anon watches the glass soar and smash onto the pavement below. His rage quickly subsides as he turns and sees Cadence's frightened face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lose my temper like that. Just a bad memory that confirms your thesis," Anon apologizes.

"It's okay, Anon. If you don't mind my asking, what happened with this Chloe person you are talking about?" Cadence asks as she carefully approaches Anon.

Anon removes his helmet and sits on the railing of the balcony. He takes a deep breath and runs his hand through the helmet's crest.

"Chloe Barns was a girl I had a crush on in high school. She...was perfect to the 16-year-old me. She and I were in the same grade. Chloe was an all-district, all-region, all-state varsity volleyball player. She had a killer serve and a kickass spike that made her borderline famous in the county. At the time, I was just the typical nobody. Though, I had three friends that I hung around. We watched a volleyball game in a big tournament our high school hosted. I believe it was the championship game. I remember her long, beautiful blonde hair waving majestically as she played. If I get into the spicy stuff, she had the perfect body, too. Her spring and summer break bikini photos were the fucking shit. Chloe was also lovely and friendly. That's unheard of for a popular girl. During that championship game, she got my attention. It didn't help that she gave me a little wave after the team won the tournament. The next day, I worked up the courage to talk to her. I complimented her on the game and the typical bullshit you tell a girl. We had a decent conversation about sports since I played football and baseball then. We started hanging out more often until she asked me if she wanted to start talking."

Cadence raises her eyebrow in confusion.

"I thought you were already talking to each other. From the moment you said something to her, you were talking," she says.

"Oh, I see where you are confused. Talking is a stage of a relationship where two people 'talk' about dating. You could call it 'pre-dating' or 'casual dating,'" Anon responds.

"That makes dating way too complicated and pretty much useless."

"I'll take your word for it because far be it from me to tell the Princess of Love how dating should work."

Cadence chuckles a little.

"Anyway, Chloe and I started talking. She took the lead since I had no idea what the fuck I was doing or how to 'talk.' We go on a few coffee hangouts and shopping expeditions—her idea, not mine. After about a month, we started doing a few intimate things. Mainly, she showed me where and how girls liked to be touched and how most guys liked to be touched. Not only that, I told her all of my darkest secrets and my inner demons. Of course, she shared some of hers. I believed we could start dating since we were doing all of that. Shit, I thought pretty soon I could score if you catch my drift. Did I get to score? In my fucking dreams, I did. My first time with the most popular girl on campus, which was every guy's wet dream, and it went down the fucking drain."

"What happened?" Cadence asked.

"When I asked her out, the fucking bitch told me she wasn't ready for a relationship. It also turns out that she was 'talking' to frat shit stain from her brother's college. She even got mad at me for being a little jealous. Last I checked when you talk to someone romantically, that relationship is supposed to be exclusive to that one person. I let her do things to me that I should've never let her do, to begin with, and after I trusted her with my deepest, darkest secrets. She betrayed me and my trust after I gave her my heart, only for her to kick the chickenshit out of it and throw it back at me. The thought of everyone knowing what went on scared me. It hung over me like a cloud. I tried forcing all the hurt, anger, and fear as far down as possible. I promised myself never to trust a girl with my heart again. I've got something to remind me of that every day until I start pushing daisies."

Anon removes his left gauntlet to reveal a three-inch scar horizontally going across his forearm. Cadence is horrified at the apparent self-inflicted scare. It looks fresh, too.

"Every year on the day, which marks eight years ago last Monday, when I was stabbed in the back, I cut along the scar of the first cut. I use the pain and the scar to remind myself never to trust a girl with my heart again."

"I'm so sorry that happened to you," Cadence says in a soothing voice.

"Save your goddamn apologies, Cadence," Anon snarls

Immediately, Anon feels regretful for using the Lord's name in vain. Of course, he has used almost every curse word in the book. However, he always attempted not to use that specific one. Every once in a while, he'll slip up and use it when he's angry.

"Pardon my language, Your Highness," Anon mutters.

Anon does the Sign of the Cross and looks towards the heavens in reverence.

"Dios te salve, Maria. Llena eres de gracia, el Señor es contigo. Bendita tú eres entre todas las mujeres y bendito es el fruto de tu vientre, Jesús. Santa María, Madre de Dios, ruega por nosotros pecadores, ahora y en la hora de nuestra muerte.
Perdóname por usar el nombre de nuestro Padre en vano. Amén." (Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed are thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Forgive me for using our Father's name in vain. Amen.)

Cadence is confused about why Anon crosses his heart and says this prayer six more times. She didn't consider Anon to be a religious man, but who is she to judge? She waits patiently for Anon to finish his prayers. Once he finishes, Anon slips his gauntlet back on. Then, he puts on his helmet. He runs his hand through the helmet's crest and picks up his plate.

"I'm going back to the party," Anon says gruffly.

"Okay," Cadence replies softly.

When Anon walks past Cadence, he stops but keeps facing forward. He clenches the hilt of his sword and sighs heavily.

"Your Highness, not a word to anyone about what we discussed, please. Not even Princess Celestia," Anon asks.

"I won't tell a soul, 1st Lieutenant."

"Thank you, Princess."

Anon steps forward militarily and opens the door to the ballroom. He swallows hard before stepping in.

I will need a good drink after night, Anon thinks to himself.

The morning comes late for Anon. He had stayed up late thinking about his conversation with Princess Cadence and how to deal with his feelings. Anon wants to stay behind and sleep in. Even calling in sick and taking the day off sounds like a good idea. He isn't in the mood to be around soldiers all day. Regardless of that, he has a job to do. Anon mutters a curse as he climbs out of bed. He puts on a clean tunic and his equipment. Then, he eats some breakfast snacks since he has woken up late. Anon grabs his shield and spear since he doesn't know what to expect today and opens the door to his bedroom.

Before he steps out, he sees Silver Quartz standing there with a cheerful grin on her face. Anon sighs heavily as he rubs his eyes.

"Good morning, my fellow 1st Lieutenant. Are you ready for your first day?" she asks.

"Fuck no," Anon grumbles.

"C'mon, Anonymous, it's going to be great."

"Sure, it is."

Anon locks his room and follows Silver Quartz to the CIDF training grounds.

As they walk, Anon notices that Silver Quartz is wearing a leather pouch around her torso. This confuses him.

"Hey, what's up with the satchel?" Anon asks.

"Oh, this? This carries all of the stuff that I need. That includes inkwells, a quill, paper, and my clipboard. I also have the assignment sheet."

"Maldito Inferno. Ella es la versión soldado de Twilight," (Fucking hell. She's the soldier version of Twilight) Anon mutters under his breath. "So, what battalion is stationed here?"

"No one told you?"

"Nope. Sometimes, my COs like to 'keep me on my toes,' if you catch my drift."

"Oh. Well, the Royal Guard battalion that is stationed here is the 35th Corona Battalion. Prince Shining Armor himself handpicked these guys."

"This ought to be fun."

"Also, my battalion, the 3rd Graphite Battalion, will be there with the 35th Corona. Since we'll be working together a lot, I thought it'd be a good idea for you to meet my battalion."

"Okay. I have no issues with that."

Eventually, Anon and Silver Quarts arrive at the CIDF training grounds. Unlike the grounds in Canterlot, these training grounds are not near the castle. They are outside the city and are much larger than the ones in Canterlot. That said, the EAF training grounds across the country since the country is about the size of the People's Republic of China, and the Crystal Empire is a city-state.

All four training grounds are designed to look like crystalline versions of the Olympic arenas. Anon and Silver Quartz go to Arena 3. In the center are 500 Royal Guards and 300 Imperial guards standing beside each other with their respective units. Silver and Anon walk until they stand in front of all 800 troops. Then, he drops his shield and spear on the ground.

First, Anon inspects the ranks of his troops. Each soldier looks well-groomed, and their equipment seems well-maintained. What catches Anon's attention is how shiny the armor is. If Anon didn't know any better, the armor would be polished consistently. To him, this group is a well-disciplined group of Royal Guards he can work with. Then, he looks over the Imperial Guards.

From what Anon has researched before coming to the Crystal Empire, these specific guards are called Crystal Imperial Defense Forces Marines, or just Imperial Marines. They operate like the EAF Royal Guards, except for a few differences. One difference is they don't guard the castle at all. The Army has that honor. The other difference is that the Marines patrol the borders of the country. At first, Anon thought that meant the magical border that protects the city from the weather of the Winter North. He was surprised when he learned that meant a physical border, which meant they'd have to brave changelings and the cold weather. The last difference is that there is a specialized unit of Imperial Marines. Their sole purpose is to accompany the Imperial Family everywhere they go. In combat situations, they fight side-by-side with Shining Armor, according to the information Anon had found. There are exactly 300 of these elite soldiers.

Once Anon finishes his inspection, he asks Silver for the assignment sheet. She uses her mouth to pull the clipboard from the pouch and hands it to Anon. He looks at the sheet to see if there are any outstanding assignments. There is none to be about.

"Good morning, everyone!" Anon shouts.

"Good morning, sir!" everyone else responds.

"If you don't know who I am, my name is 1st Lieutenant Anonymous of the Royal Guard. I'm going to be the replacement commanding officer. I'm looking forward to working with you. I don't know how 1st Lieutenant Sugar Cane ran things, but I'll lead this battalion the best I can. I have no expectations for this battalion because every unit is different except for one. That expectation is that I expect to get the same amount of respect that you gave 1st Lieutenant Sugar Cane. If you can do that along with doing your jobs, I think we'll get along just fine. I'm a pretty laid-back guy, but I like getting the job done so we can look good for the high brass at the end of the day and get a few celebratory drinks afterward. Do I make myself clear?"

"Sir, yes, sir," the Royal Guard replied.

"Good! Now, let's get down to our assignments. 65th, 52nd, 33rd, 82nd, and 88th Squads: you are on border patrol. 22nd, 28th, 30th, 41st, and 92nd Squads: you are on embassy duty until 1200 hours, then you will switch with the squads on border patrol until the end of the day. 38th, you are with me until the end of the day. The rest of you are on...interior patrol? What the fuck is that?"

One of the officers raises her hoof.

"Sir, interior patrol is where the squads will patrol everywhere within the magical. This job is shared with the other CIDF squads."

"Oh, okay. Thank you, uh...2nd Lieutenant Olive Branch. Alright, that's all for now! Dismissed!" Anon says.

The 35th Corona Battalion split into separate squads while the 38th Corona Squad remained at attention. Anon finds this squad attractive because the guards are much younger than the others. Anon thinks that the Imperial Marine Captain who oversees the Royal Guards figured that'd be a good idea, considering Anon is close in age with them. There is a 2nd Lieutenant, Coal Cart, that didn't look a day over 21.

As Anon waits for Silver Quartz to finish telling her battalion their assignments, Anon scans last to see his assignments. There is a lot to do: embassy tour, city tour, castle tour, border patrol, and combat prowess drill. He notices that Silver and a squad, the 4th Graphite Squad, will join him and his squad. Anon shrugs his shoulders and walks over to Silver as she finishes.

"Hey, Silver," Anon says.

"What's up?" Silver asks cheerfully.

"I was thinking that we go ahead and knock out the combat prowess drill while we are here, and the troops are ready to go."

"Sure. We can do that. Okay, everypony, form up in a 1-by-10 company front."

Anon rolls his eyes out of annoyance as the Marines move into position.

"We seriously have to get you to use a more authoritative voice," Anon grumbles.

"What do you mean by that?" Silver asks, sounding puzzled.

"Watch and learn, kid."

Anon turns his head towards his squad.

"Squad, ten of you pick an opponent and stand before them! Move!" Anon shouts. "See? Like that."

"You sounded angry at them."

"I wasn't angry at them. I was asserting my authority and standing fifty feet away, so there's that."

Now, each Imperial Marine had a Royal Guard partner. The rest of the 38th stand off to the side. The ones participating in the drill look at Anon with expectant looks.

"Alright, listen up! Today, we are starting with a combat prowess drill! Royal Guards, how well you fight today will show me if your time here has made you lazy! Prince Shining Armor might have chosen you before you came here because you were the best, but that doesn't mean you haven't gotten lazy since then. Understand?!"

"SIR, YES, SIR!!!" the Royal Guards reply.

"Perfect! We are going by dueling rules! Three hits, you are done! Be aggressive and take down your opponent without killing or maiming them! First, you'll start with spears! Next round, you'll switch to your swords! All of you will start on my mark! Make ready!"

Everyone gets into a combat stance, their spears facing their opponents. The two pegasi in the Royal Guard had their wings flared up. That was perfect for intimidation. Anon waits a few moments to see how they will do under pressure and anticipation. The Marines and Royal Guards don't move an inch. Then, Anon commences the fight.

"START!!!"

The troops rush at each other at full speed. For almost three minutes, they fight. Anon is impressed with the Imperial Marines since they held their own against the Royal Guards. In the end, the Royal Guards were the last ones standing. However, they were given a run for their money. Anon called the end of the match and gave the victory to the Royal Guards.

"I must say, 1st Lieutenant Quartz, I didn't think it would take this long for my troops to beat yours!" Anon yells.

"They did their best," Silver Quartz responds.

Anon taps Silver's leg with his foot. She looks up at him with a confused look. He mouths, "Speak up."

"My troops did their best!" she repeats a little louder.

"Now, everyone, set your spears aside and draw your swords. The next round will begin in thirty seconds!"

The troops toss their spears behind them and draw their swords. Anon orders them to get ready. Then, he starts the match again a few seconds later. This time, the Marines are showing the Royal Guards up. Anon isn't happy with what he sees. He crosses his arms as ten guards are "cut down." He sharply exhales through his nose as the last Royal Guards is struck a third time. Silver looks up at Anon with a smile on her face. He sighs out of frustration.

"This match goes the Imperial Marines! Congratulations, you managed to be the Equestria Armed Forces' great weapon! Perhaps the weapon needs to sharpen its sword! However, it looks as if we have a tie! 1st Lieutenant Quartz, any ideas on a tiebreaker!" Anon shouts.

"Uh...I don't know," Silver stutters.

One of the Marines raises his hoof.

"What's your name, Marine?" Anon asks.

"Corporal Diamond Edge, sir," he replies.

"What is your idea?"

"Why don't you and 1st Lieutenant Quartz have a duel?"

Anon hesitates. It's not because he fears fighting Silver, but out of surprise. He figures that a duel between the best of the two units would have been a better idea. It doesn't help that Silver's squad is advocating for the duel. Anon looks toward his troops to see what they think. They are silent because of embarrassing themselves to a rather famous 1st Lieutenant. Then, Anon looks down at Silver, who, in turn, looks up at him.

"What do you think?" Silver asks.

"I'd only duel you if you want to," Anon replies sheepishly.

Silver Quartz sighs. There is no way she could take on Anon. She had heard from her uncle, an Imperial dignitary in Canterlot, about Anon and how well-trained and brilliant he was. She was even Canterlot during the Summer Sun Festival eight months ago during a well-deserved furlough. Silver saw the griffin try to kill Princess Celestia and how fast Anon moved when he fought him. Silver was surprised at how fast he moved as he sprinted away, even carrying a large shield. Despite that, she thinks it could be a good experience fighting another species than ponies. So, Silver probably makes the worst decision she could make.

"Let's do it," Silver says.

Her troops cheer. Anon finds the cheering a little concerning, considering they had to know that Silver had little chance of winning. He shakes his head out of disappointment as he walks over to get his shield. Anon decides to take it easy on Silver until he sees what she's made of; then, he'll adjust how he fights.

Silver and Anon agree to use swords instead of spears. Silver holds her sword with the blade facing upward in the standard-ready stance. Anon squats down a little and holds a shield facing Silver. He raises his sword, pointing it at Silver. He stares her down, trying to see if she'll back down out of intimidation. She doesn't. Anon flexes his fingers around his sword. Then, 2nd Lieutenant Coal Cart starts the fight.

Silver is the first to strike. She rushes forward and thrusts her sword at Anon's stomach. Anon uses his shield to block the jab and swings his sword down. She jumps back to avoid being hit. Anon's blade narrowly misses her, but he uses the edge of his shield to swing down at Silver. He doesn't swing too hard because one hit could break her muzzle or dent her helmet. The shield makes contact with Silver's helmet. She is knocked back, stunned, and has no time to block Anon's sword with her own or use her magic. There is a plink as the tip of his blade taps her chest plate. Anon back up and returns to the ready position. He lets Silver recover so she can get back into the fight. He worries that he hit her too hard.

"Are you good?" Anon asks.

"I'll live," Silver responds, readying her sword again.

Anon notices something about Silver. She's not as fast, and her reflexes aren't that great. Her entire fighting ability is mediocre at best. How she even passed boot camp is beyond. Unfortunately, he is going to embarrass Silver badly. So, Anon decides to end the fight as soon as possible. He rushes forward at full speed. This catches Silver by surprise. She shoots a weak blast of her magic at him, but Anon's shield blocks it. He sidesteps around her and swings at the side of her chest plate. Anon's blade hits home with a clang. Then, he kicks her in the side. She goes rolling across the ground along with her sword. She has no time to reach for her sword before Anon stands over her. He flips his sword into a reverse grip and jabs Silver in the side of her helmet that protects her neck.

"1st Lieutenant Anonymous is the winner! The Royal Guards are the champions!" Coal Cart announces.

Anon sheathes his sword and walks back to his squad.

"The only reason we were able to win the drill is because I won against a soldier less skilled than me," Anon shouts. "So, it doesn't excuse that your sword-fighting skills are incredibly lacking."

Anon turns and looks back at Silver. He watches as she struggles to get up. Anon is afraid that he has hurt Silver badly. She strolls over to his squad. A defeated look is plastered on her face. Anon's concern levels go up.

"One of you Marines, fetch a medic and get 1st Lieutenant Quartz checked out," Anon orders.

"No need, 1st Lieutenant Anonymous. I'm an Imperial Marine. I can take a hit."

"Suit yourself. Now that the combat prowess drill is over, we can move on to the city tour! Squad, get into a 5-by-5 column formation."

The squad immediately gets into formation. They stand at attention and silently. Silver and her squad do the same thing. Anon watches his unit for a moment. He raises an eyebrow and chuckles a little.

"This is an informal tour, so there's no need to march at full attention! Still, look professional to the public! March in step, spears are to be perfectly vertical, and freeze halts are to look snappy! Other than that, let's move!" Anon shouts.

Silver and her squad march next to Anon and the 38th Corona Squad as they leave the arenas and return to the city. There, Silver shows Anon the main attractions of the Crystal Empire: the best restaurants, the CIDF barracks, the CIDF High Command Headquarters, the Crystal Imperial Magical Academy, and the CIDF Academy. The last thing that Anon is shown is the Crystal Heart. This attraction is located underneath the castle. Anon is interested in how the Crystal Heart is important to these ponies.

According to Silver, the reason why the Crystal Empire exists is because of the Crystal Heart. After some miners found it, when mining the Crystalline Mountains, Amore projected her love into the Crystal Heart, which magnified it, and sent over what would be the Crystal Empire. Essentially, it gives the city and its citizens life and the love they share. Anon finds the history exciting but then asks where the best bar is in town. Silver is highly shocked that he passed off the lifeline of the empire she so proudly serves for the location of a decent bar. She looks back at her troops to see if they are shocked, too. Their faces look like they didn't even hear Anon's question. Silver is assuming they didn't until Sergeant Emerald Marble raises her hoof. Anon notices her and narrows his as if he heard a private the stupidest thing in the world.

"Yes, uh...Sergeant?" Anon says as he looks at her rank insignia.

"Permission to speak, sir?" Sergeant Marble requests.

"Sure. What's up?"

"There's this kick-ass bar near High Command called the Velvet Crystal Dinner Bar. A lot of the Marines and the Royal Guards go there after duty. You should join us tonight, sir."

"I might just take you up on that, Sergeant."

"Hell, yeah. That sounds fucking awesome."

A few of the Marines hoof-bump each other. Silver shakes her head in disappointment at her troops. They should be horrified at Anon's blatant disregard for the Crystal Heart. This boggles her mind, and she doesn't know what to do. For now, all she can do is move on to the tour at the embassy.

When they arrive at the embassy, only Silver and Anon go inside. The rest of the troops are allowed to sit and rest outside the gates.

The embassy looks different from every other building in the city. It looks like a building straight out of Canterlot. The Equestrian flag flies high and billows in the wind. The three-story building has high walls protecting it. The Royal Guards that were assigned there walk on top of the walls.

The two walk the halls so he can get familiar with them. The office that Anon is given is on the top floor. A large window overlooks a large courtyard with a lovely fountain. The office itself is much smaller than the one in Canterlot. However, it has the homey, cozy feeling that Anon enjoys. After that, the two 1st Lieutenants meet the Equestrian ambassador, Ivory Spark, in his office.

As Anon had predicted, the ambassador doesn't take kindly to the idea that a non-pony Royal Guard is assigned to him and the 35th Corona Battalion. He tries subtly insulting Anon, but that doesn't have the desired effect, considering Anon is used to being insulted by nobles due to his species.

Once the meeting is over, Silver and Anon return to their troops. From there, the small band returns to the castle so Anon can get a proper tour of it. Prince Shining Armor himself leads this tour. He allows Silver, her squad, and the 38th to get a meal at the mess hall. The tour lasts about an hour and thirty minutes.

After the tour, Anon is taken to one of the high-end restaurants near the CIDF Academy. Griffins run the restaurant, and it's the only one in the city that serves meat. Over their meal, Anon and Shining Armor share stories about their service in the Royal Guard. The story that interests Anon the most is Shining Armor's wedding. It's not the intro that's interesting, nor the battle in the streets. It is the aftermath.

The aftermath was a nightmare—10,000 Solar, Lunar, and Royal Guard casualties in the first six hours. There were over 50,000 changeling casualties. The number that was the most concerning was civilian casualties. Queen Chrysalis had ordered her troops to kill any they fed on for love. There were over 200,000 civilian casualties. The Invasion of Canterlot was a massive embarrassment to the EAF. The noble called for the resignation of several commissioned officers, including Shining Armor's, and for dissolving the Lunar Guard due to little involvement in repelling the changeling forces. Of course, Princess Celestia didn't have anyone fired, nor did Princess Luna dissolve the Lunar Guard. Nonetheless, it took over two years for Canterlot to fully recover. It didn't help that the city was invaded again by the Storm King and Commander Tempest Shadow.

After Shining Armor tells the story of his wedding, he gives Anon some advice about being an officer and how he ran things. The advice-giving is easy, considering Anon has been a 1st Lieutenant for over two-and-a-half years and is willing to take constructive criticism of his leadership. However, there is one thing that Shining Armor is curious about how good of a fighter Anon is. He has heard stories down the grapevine about how Anon took on two griffin would-be assassins. Shining Armor also heard that Anon was trained by the head minotaur armorer, Magnus Björnsson, instead of a pony. That tells him that Anon is a formidable fighter, considering the minotaurs know how to fight and kill about anything that breathes and walks.

"So, Anon, do you mind if I join you on patrol this afternoon?" Shining Armor asks.

Anon spits out his drink. A look of surprise is on his face. This is something he didn't think he'd ever hear.

"Sure, if you want to, sir," Anon replies, dumbfounded.

"Why not? I haven't been on patrol since my officer days. Besides, it gets me out of that damned office of mine for a while."

"I hear you on that, sir. I'll be rotting with the 75th Corona Spear Team during patrol."

"Okay. That's a good spear team. I look forward to patrolling with them."

"Also, I have a question for you. Will I begin something, or will I need to buy something?"

"Cadance had some winter gear tailored for you by the best tailor in the Crystal Empire. He even does our clothes. It should be delivered today."

"Oh, okay."

"Don't worry about the gear not being within Royal Guard regulations. I made sure that it is."

"Thank you, sir. I appreciate it."

"No problem."

Anon, Shining Armor, and five other Royal Guards trudge through the snow. The wind sends bits of snow and ice to hit their armor like shrapnel. The ponies only have blue scarves around their necks. Anon is wholly bundled up. Instead of his thin battle tunic, he wears blue sweatpants. Over his torso, he wears a thick blue sweatshirt. The sweatpants and sweatshirt had the same markings as his tunic. His feet are protected by close-toed sandals and blue wool socks that are enchanted to keep his body heat in. He was also given a scarf to cover the lower half of his face. Of course, Anon was given a pair of enchanted gloves.

As seven soldiers patrol the southern border, they talk amongst themselves as they scan the icy horizon. Anon and Shining Armor walk in front. For the most part, the two are silent. Then, Anon gets curious about something.

"Your Highness, tell me about 1st Lieutenant Silver Quartz," Anon requests.

"She's the daughter of Platinum and Golden Quartz. Platinum is one of our dignitaries in Canterlot. Golden is Cadance's secretary. Her younger brother was a sergeant in the Army. 1st Lieutenant Quartz went to the CIDF Academy when Bronze was conscripted in the Army. They didn't get along very well, according to their parents. Even after she graduated and could pull rank and age on her younger brother, Bronze and his friends are still very cruel to her. Even still, she keeps her head up and tries to be nice to everypony she meets. I only met 1st Lieutenant Quartz once before the party last night. She's alright except for the fact she's a little..."

Shining Armor trails off momentarily, searching for the right word that isn't insulting. However, a Royal Guard corporal speaks what's on everyone's mind.

"She's completely annoying," Corporal Bronze Medal announces.

Anon and Shining Armor give him dirty looks for talking about an officer like that. Deep down, they knew he was right to a certain extent.

"What? We are all thinking the same thing, sir. This morning, I could tell you were getting annoyed with her. Plus, I heard from one of the maids that I'm fuu-I mean...seeing overheard you talking last night," Corporal Medal says.

"Malditas sirvientas," (Fucking maids) Anon grumbles. "That still doesn't give you the right to disrespect a commissioned officer, Corporal. I suggest you shut it or keep your criticisms respectful."

"Sir, yes, sir."

"Well, the words I was looking for is 'out there,' but I guess that works, too."

"Prince Shining Armor, you should've seen 1st Lieutenant Anonymous and 1st Lieutenant Quartz duel. He kicked her ass so damn fast," Private Drive-In says.

Shining Armor looks at Anon with an "Oh, really" look. In return, Anon smiles sheepishly.

"I was during combat prowess drill, sir," he says nervously.

"I see," Shining Armor mutters.

Anon shrugs as they trudge further. He continues to scan the snowy horizon as his troops talk amongst each other quietly. It is always to him that Royal Guards could yap their heads off and still do their jobs properly. Anon remains silent as he tunes out his troops so that he can do his job right. As one of the privates talks about making ice creme out of snow, Anon notices something moving toward them in the distance. Just as he notices it, everyone else does. The entire spearteam goes silent. Anon raises his spear to halt the unit.

"Is that a hostile?" Anon asks as he squints.

"Its armor is too shiny to be hostile. It's one of ours, probably. That begs another question: what is a CIDF soldier doing here at this hour? We are the first unit to patrol this sector unless I have my days messed up," Shining Armor muses.

As the figure gets closer, they can tell it is an Imperial Army soldier. She is limping, and there's blood on her armor. This concerns everyone.

"Thank Celestia for that...you found me," the soldier gasps.

"What's your name, rank, and battalion, soldier?" Shining Armor asks.

"Emerald Petals, Sergeant Major, 38th Diamond Battalion, Imperial Army," the soldier replies.

"What the fuck are you doing out here, Sergeant Major?" Anon asks.

"My spearteam and I were on patrol when changelings ambushed us. I'm the only survivor."

"When?" Corporal Bronze Medal asks.

"Okay. Come on."

Emerald Petals stands up and begins leading the rest of the unit to the spot of the ambush. However, there is something that isn't sitting right with Anon. First, the soldier seems a little eager to show the unit, which happens to have a member of the Imperial Family with them, to the slaughtered unit. Second, there is blood on her armor but none on herself. Plus, there are no combat wounds, as well. Third, there is the thing that Shining Armor said. There hadn't been any patrol in the sector. Nothing is adding up. Everyone else seems to notice, too. Anon grips his spear tighter as he prepares to kill the soldier. In one move, he thrusts the spear through the base of her helmet. There is a spurt of green blood and a green flash. The changeling changes back to her original form. She gurgles as Anon pulls out his spear, and the soldier slumps over and dies.

"I knew there was something off. Sergeant Major Petals was declared KIA during a skirmish around three months ago. This changeling must have been the one to kill her and loot her equipment. It makes me wonder how many other of my troops have fallen victim to this trap," Shining Armor announces.

"What are your orders, sir?" Anon asks.

"Private Silver Arrow, send a magic message to the 10th Corona Spearteam and request backup at our location. Be sure to get a healer over here. We will need it. Everypony else, get ready for an attack. Likely, those shapeshifting bastards are already watching us."

"Sir, yes, sir," the troops reply.

Private Arrow's horn has a grey aura surrounding it as everyone else prepares for battle by forming a circle so they'd have each other's back and have 360-degree vision. Anon holds his shield in the ready position as he scans the horizon. It isn't long before Anon notices a green flash out of the corner of his eye. He turns forward and sees five heavily armed changelings walking towards them, stopping about twenty yards away.

"Five hostiles! Noon!" Anon shouts

"Five more hostiles! Our three o'clock!" Private Leather Satchel, who is facing directly to the right, shouts.

"Five more changelings at our six!" Private Steel Pipe yells.

"I've got five more hostiles at our nine o'clock!" Corporal Bronze Medal announces.

"Surrounded on your first day here. This is quite the experience for you, huh, Anon?" Shining Armor chuckles.

"I guess so. I've been looking forward to fighting one of these things, so there's that, sir," Anon responds.

Anon narrows his eyes at a changeling he chooses to fight first. He grits his teeth as he psyches himself for battle. He also recalls his training on how to fight changelings.

Since changelings are essentially winged unicorns, since they can use magic and fly, they are tricky to fight. Also, they can spit a green mucus-like substance to ensnare their enemies, and it is challenging to break out of. However, changelings are weaker and not as fast as ponies, but they make up for those weaknesses in numbers. Since their bodies are covered in holes, making them frailer than ponies, brute force is Anon's chosen fighting method. They wear indigo-colored armor that is similar to the CIDF and the EAF. Their helmets have extended cheek guards to protect their fangs from attacks from the side. Their spears and swords look Roman-style but have holes in them, much like their bodies. However, it doesn't diminish the durability due to the material it's made from. It is rumored to be more robust Equestrian steel and absorb magic. Their four-inch long fangs are weapons because they can suck the love out of ponies and inject a deadly neurotoxin that can kill a pony in seconds.

"Prince Shining Armor, surrender your forces and yourself, and perhaps the Queen Mother will spare your lives!" the changeling officer shouts.

"Not a chance. I'd rather die than give my troops over to that bug-faced queen of yours!" Shining Armor shouts back.

"Suit yourself, Your Majesty. Brothers and sisters, ki-"

The changeling officer is cut off as a large spear hits him square in the chest. He is pinned to the ground with a shocked expression permanently etched. The spear belongs to Anon.

"Enough talking! Let's kill these fuckers!" Anon shouts as he draws his sword.

The remaining twenty-four changeling charges. The Royal Guard and Shining Armor rush forward to meet their enemies. They are outnumbered over 3-to-1, but that doesn't matter to them. Royal Guards are trained to fight against greater odds. Besides, they only need to survive until the reinforcements arrive. More than that, they have more heart and passion than their enemies.

Anon slams into the first changeling in his path using his shield. The changeling goes flying into the snow. Before the changeling can stand back up, he is killed when Anon cuts off his head at the neck. Anon uses his shield and the rim as a bludgeoning weapon to stun or kill the changelings by exploiting their frail bodies, then uses his sword to ensure they are dead. However, he isn't as fast as he usually as he is because of his winter gear. This results in him getting slashed in the thigh. The pain only slows him even more.

All but six changelings are dead when the 10th Corona Fireteam arrives. Three more of the enemy are killed by the reinforcements. The rest of the changelings retreat over the border and towards the barren wastelands where the hive is located. When the enemy is long gone, the reinforcements check on their exhausted comrades, give them water, and tend to their wounds.

Of course, Shining Armor is attended to first since he is royalty. He's fine except for a few scratches, bruises, and cuts. The other guards have similar wounds. Anon's leg wound is patched up, and he's given a painkiller to make the trek back to the city, where he can get proper treatment. However, Private Key Set has some significant wounds. He has a deep cut on his left leg down to the bone. An artery has been cut, and he's losing blood fast—his constant pained screaming echoes across the snow drift. The medic gets to work to stop the bleeding. After packing the wound, putting a disinfectant on the wound, and applying enchanted gauze, the healer jabs a syrette full of morphine into Private Set's shoulder. The screaming and moaning die down in moments. Then, the healer uses her magic to summon a stretcher and a wool blanket. Corporal Medal and Private Satchel carry Private Set to the stretcher. He moans weakly as they set him down. Then, they cover him with a blanket.

"We need to get Private Set and 1st Lieutenant Anon to the RGB Gemstone medbay immediately. I'll use the rest of my magic to transport the both of them back," the healer says.

"Go ahead. The rest of us are good enough to walk back. Don't tire yourself out, Sergeant Breeze," Shining Armor advises.

"No promises, Your Grace."

Anon limps over the healer as Privates Satchel and Drive-In carry their comrade on his stretcher. Her horn glows as she charges up her magic. Then, a flash of purple fills everyone's vision. Within seconds, the four Royal Guards disappear.

Later that night, 1st Lieutenant Silver Quartz walks through the palace gardens as she waits for Princess Cadance. She had heard about Anon's battle with the changelings and the injuries he and Private Key sustained. When she got the news, she rushed to RGB Gemstone. Private Set had been sudated and is recovering. However, his days on active duty are over due to his wounds. He'll likely be given a non-combat role or a medical discharge. Anon, on the other hand, is faring much better. His wounds are almost entirely healed since they aren't too bad. When Silver requested to see him, Anon turned her away. However, they weren't turned away when Princess Cadance and Prince Shining Armor came to see him. This doesn't come as a surprise since turning away royalty could result in a messy court martial. She walks over to a terrace on the gardens' northside. She puts her hooves on the railing. Silver looks down on the city. The lights create a nice ambient glow. The full moon also adds to the ambiance.

"A beautiful night, isn't it?" Princess Cadance asks as she approaches the terrace.

"It is Your Majesty," Silver replies as she salutes.

"You can dispense with the military formalities since we are alone."

"Yes, ma'am. Thank you."

"Now, what's going on?"

Silver hesitates. She doesn't know how to word what she wants to say. According to her parents, the best option is complete but polite honesty. Silver tells Cadance about what happened at the Crystal Heart and her concerns about Anon's cold personality. When she finishes, Cadance thinks about what Silver has said. She will admit that what Silver talked about doesn't surprise her. She expected this conversation with someone to come sooner or later.

"Anon...is different from everypony else, as if it wasn't already obvious. Not just species-wise but in attitudes and feelings. Unlike ponies, Anon is emotionally detached, which explains why he dislikes expressing his feelings to almost everypony. This comes from a lot of trust issues. Anon is also a logical and analytical thinker, prioritizing rational and realistic thinking over emotional thinking is something he does. We ponies use our hearts and listen to them. Anon won't do that. As you may have noticed, Anon is very blunt and will not sugarcoat anything. I've seen that he doesn't like to beat around the bush. This might seem harsh to us, but that's Anon's character. That's just the way his. There's nothing we can do to change it. Besides, he's like that with everypony he meets at first, so don't take it too personally."

"And his disregard for our lifeline for alcohol?"

"Love isn't a topic that Anon likes discussing because he's had some personal issues with it. He likely doesn't want to talk about it to specific people. According to my sister-in-law, Anon loves history, so I don't believe Anon is uninterested in the Crystal Heart. Besides, he's quite the drinker, so there's that."

"I don't understand why he always seems annoyed with me. When I saw him at the medbay, he turned me away."

"Silver, your personality is an outgoing one. There's nothing wrong with it at all. It's just your energy can be emotionally and mentally draining to Anon. It can be overwhelming to him, too. From what Princess Celestia has told me, he prefers to be alone, hence why he likes the confines of an office. That doesn't mean he doesn't like friendships or intimate relationships. Your personality clashes with his. Just give him a little time. Eventually, he'll grow on you, and you'll grow on him."

"I guess that makes sense. Thank you, Princess Cadance."

"You're welcome, Silver. Have a good night."

Silver and Cadance go their separate ways. Silver walks down the hallways to exit the palace. She contemplates what the Princess has told her. However, her strain of thought is interrupted when she runs into her brother and three of his friends. She gulps as the familiar smug grin creeps across his face.

"Uh...hi, Bronze," Silver says quietly.

"Well, well, well. Look who it is," Bronze sneers.

"How...was your day?"

"It was okay. It'll be better when I get some alcohol in me."

"You really shouldn't drink. It's not good for you, especially since you are a soldier."

"I need some booze since I have to put up with you, Mom, and Dad crawling up my ass every fucking day."

"Hey, aren't you working with that human Royal Guard?" one of Bronze's friends asks.

Silver nods slowly.

"How does a lousy officer like you get paired up with a kickass Royal Guard," Bronze laughs.

"Dude, I heard she got her ass kicked by 1st Lieutenant Anonymous in a combat prowess drill," the other friend says.

The group laughs as Silver's head and ears droop. A tear falls, but Bronze and his friends don't notice. The laughing suddenly stops when someone clears their throat from behind Silver. She turns and sees Anon standing behind her. He's wearing his blue tunic, a fresh pair of sandals, and his sword belt. Anon's hand is on the hilt. A blank state on his face sends shivers down everyone's spine.

"Is there a problem?" Anon asks.

"No, sir," Bronze replies nervously.

"There's no problem here, 1st Lieutenant," one of the other friends says.

"That's a load of bullshit. I heard everything about how you treat your sister from YOUR commander-in-chief—the last minute I observed confirmed his story. Let me give you some advice, you piece of worthless shit. Silver is not only your commanding officer; she's your fucking sister. Your flesh and blood. When your parents are gone, she'll be all you have left. Familial solitude isn't a good experience. It would be best to treat Silver respectfully, not as an officer, but as your sibling. If I hear as much a fucking peep about you treating her like shit, I'll make sure your life is a living hell. I have royal connections with Crystal AND Equestrian royals, so it'll be easy to accomplish such a feat. Do I make myself fucking clear?"

They nod their head quickly. Fear is plastered on their faces.

"SAY IT OUT LOUD, FUCKING DAMN IT!!!" Anon screams.

"Sir, yes, sir!!!" they shout.

"Now, fuck off!"

Bronze and his friends run as fast as they can. Anon sighs as he walks away. He mutters a few curses in Spanish as he goes down the hall to continue his journey to the bar. Then, he stops and turns around when Silver calls out to him.

"What's up, Silver?" Anon asks flatly.

"Thank you for sticking up for me, Anon. No one has ever done that for me."

"Don't mention it. Just let me know if that shitstain brother of yours does anything else to you."

"Okay, I will."

"See you tomorrow, then."

"You, too."

Anon turns back around and continues his trek to the bar.

Author's Notes:

This was an exciting chapter because many things Anon experienced relationship-wise had happened to friends and me. I figured it would help explain why he was so adamant about not dating Celestia or anyone else, for that matter. This was good because I got to write and expand on the Crystal Imperial Defense Forces. I will model them after the Athenian hoplites (not canon, probably, but whatever). I also wanted to expand more on the Crystal Empire. When I watched the show, it looked like a different country, so I modeled it after a Greek city-state. City-state is a sovereign state that consists of a city and its surrounding territory for those who don't know.

Anyway, thanks for being patient with me. I got burnt out on writing I Am Anonymous (I hate to admit it), so I took a break and started working on an old fanfic of mine so I'd start to miss writing I Am Anonymous. I know it's on Wattpad, it's cliché to write there, but it's the only place where they are loose with their writing rules. Here's the link if you want to read the other fanfiction I have been working on:
Big Hero 6: The Rise of the Marksman - Matthew Wilson - Wattpad

Now, without further ado, here is the next chapter title spoiler!!
Chapter 13: The Return Home

The Return Home

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Chapter 14

It's been eight months into Anon's deployment to the Crystal Empire. The deployment was supposed to last six months, but there was an issue. While on vacation to Saddle Arabia, 1st Lieutenant Sugar Cane's family, including her, got a case of the camel flu (Middle Eastern Respiratory Syndrome-related coronavirus). Sugar Cane didn't get a severe case, but her grandparents did. This resulted in their untimely deaths overseas. The rest of the family was sick for weeks. The vacation occurred toward the end of her time off. Due to the responsibility of caring for sick family members, arranging two funerals, and allowing time for recovery, two months had passed by the time it was over.

Anon didn't mind the extended stay. It allowed him to think about the future of his relationship with Princess Celestia more rather than pushing it to the back of his mind. However, even in the days leading up to his return to Canterlot, Anon barely thought about it. So, he sent a letter to Captain Tempest Shadow requesting two days off before returning to his post. What surprised him was that Captain Shadow approved the request. Anon decided to spend his two days off in Ponyville. He thought spending a few days in the peaceful town to see old friends he hadn't seen in over three years would be good. Also, he can think about how to move forward with Celestia. He knows sooner than later, he'll have to confront these feelings. He didn't let anyone know of his return.

Today, Anon prepares to leave the Crystal Empire. He quietly packs up all of his gear. It's not long before he's packed and ready to go. The last thing he does is strap his shield to his backpack. Then, he is ready to go and makes his way to Arena 3.

As he walks through the castle halls and the streets, the ponies greet him with warm faces. Anon has become a popular fixture in the Crystal Empire for eight months, not because of his species or personal relationship with the Imperial Family, but because of his relationship with citizens. He attended Velvet Crystal Dinner Bar almost every day. They found it entertaining to give Anon crystal-based alcohol, which is much stronger than plant-based alcohol.

Eventually, he arrives at the arena. As he approaches the 35th Corona Battalion, 2nd Lieutenant Thunder Storm calls his fellow troops to attention. There is a sound of 500 soldiers snapping to attention. They salute Anon, who salutes back. After a brief moment, he calls them to stand "at ease."

"Good morning, everyone!" Anon shouts.

"Good morning, sir!" the soldiers replied.

"Today is the day I return to Canterlot, the crown jewel of Equestria, the nation we love and proudly serve! Serving alongside some of the Royal Guard's best soldiers has been an honor! For that, I commend every single one of you! I'll ensure that Princess Celestia knows how excellent the 35th Corona Battalion performs! We've trained, bled, and fought together! I'll ensure that the little thing we practiced over the past few months is passed on to Princess Celestia to see what she thinks! Thank you for letting me serve alongside you!"

Anon snaps to attention and salutes the 35th. They return to attention and salute him back. Right about then, Anon hears hoofsteps behind him. He turns and sees 1st Lieutenant Sugar Cane. Her light-green tail switches as Anon looks down at her.

"I didn't expect to see you today," Anon says.

"I decided to come by a few hours early," she replies.

"Couldn't wait to get back to it, could you?"

"You could say that, Anon. How were the troops?"

"Solid group. It's a little rowdy around crystal alcohol, but I completely understand. It's good shit."

"Oh, yeah. It's the best around. Send me a letter if you want some. I can put in a good word at one of the bars to get you some."

"Thanks, Sugar Cane. If you don't mind, I'll say goodbye to the troops and head to the station."

"Sure, go on ahead."

Sugar Cane orders her troops to break the formation. They give Anon hugs, wish him luck back home, and wish him safe travels. Some of the mares burst into tears. Anon rolls his eyes but remembers that ponies are more emotional than humans are. This goes on for about twenty minutes before Anon leaves for the station. He puts on his backpack and makes his way to the train station.

When Anon arrives at the station, Shining Armor, Cadance, and 1st Lieutenant Silver Quartz await him. The conductor helps other passengers with loading their luggage. Anon looks at the large clock that hangs above the platform. It's 8:25 a.m. There are five minutes before the train leaves.

"I was beginning to think you weren't going to come," Shining Armor teases.

"I needed to say goodbye to the 35th Corona Battalion before I left. Besides, I'm sure you'd make sure the train didn't leave before I arrived," Anon answers.

"That's a fair assessment. Do you have everything?" Cadance asks jokingly.

"What are you, my mom? Yes, I do!" Anon laughs.

"She's making sure you don't leave anything behind," Silver Quartz says, sounding almost serious.

"Don't worry about me. I have all the essentials. Everything else, I can buy again in Canterlot if I forget something."

"Before you go, we have a little gift for you," Cadance announces.

She uses her magic to give Anon the small gift bag. Anon opened it and pulled out a large bottle of Tripache Emerald Bourbon. This is the strongest and most expensive bourbon in the Crystal Empire. The high price is due to how rare the tripache emerald is. Anon gawks at the dark green liquid.

"No fucking way," Anon gasps.

"We thought you'd like that. The castle storeroom has quite a few bottles that Shining Armor has bought over the years," Cadance explains.

"A bottle of this goes for 2,500 bits! Thank you so much!"

"Our pleasure, Anon."

There is a moment of silence between the small group until the conductor's booming voice pierces the noisy atmosphere platform.

"All aboard!" he shouts.

"Well, I better get going. Thank you for everything," Anon announces.

"You're welcome. Have a safe trip," Cadance says.

Anon squats down and shakes Shining Armor's hoof. Then, he gives a small hug to Cadance. Lastly, he turns to Silver. Anon reaches out and pats her on the helmet. Besides tough love, Silver is confused because he has never shown her affection in the past eight months.

"You are a good kid, Silver. Keep your head high, and keep moving forward. Make sure that brother yours stays in line while you are at it."

"I will, Anon."

Anon stands up and gets on the train. Then, he goes to find a seat. He takes a window seat and sets his backpack next to him. The train's whistle blows twice. Within moments, the train begins to move. Anon waves one last time at the three ponies as the station slowly moves past him.

Captain Tempest Shadow is in her office, reading the latest news reports worldwide. She does this when she has nothing to do except sit or avoid an administrative task.

In the Middle Eastern nation of Saddle Arabia, King Muhammad al-Alamein and Queen Hanin announced their second pregnancy. Of course, the nation rejoices at the announcement of the Arabian Royal Family adding another member. This is coming on the heels of the 1,200-year anniversary of the country's founding.

In Mínótária, the kingdom of the minotaurs, two major clans cease fighting after King Drengr acts as an arbiter to settle the bloody dispute. The Wæmunding and Völsung clans were fighting because a surveyor, who was paid off by the Völsung chieftain, Sigfus Illugisson, to adjust the land border between the two clans by almost two hundred acres. Ultimately, when the surveyor would turn in the new map, King Drengr would sign off on the borders, as is his job. When the Wæmunding chieftain, Ærnmund Eilifsson, found out about this betrayal, they started the bloody clan war, which Mínótária is no stranger to. The solution? Cheiftan Sigfus has to surrender his position to his 17-year-old son, Åsumnd Sigfusson, and give the land back to the Wæmunding Clan and then some. Tempest rolls her eyes at the news because she dislikes minotauran politics and their ferocious nature.

In the underwater/surface nation of Hipogryfy, Queen Novo announces that her daughter, Princess Skystar, has graduated from the Hipogryfian Royal Defense Forces Academy. There is a picture of the young hippogriff princess in a ceremonial military uniform. Tempest is confused at this because Skystar is a prominent peace advocate. She called for reducing the HRDF's size to relieve tensions with the Dragon Kingdom and their leader, Lady Ember. Her pleas fell on deaf ears, and her mother installed conscription for both male and female hippogriffs in the Hipogryfian Ground Self-Defense Forces (HGSDF). Tempest assumes that Skystar "joining" the Academy in the first place was by force as punishment for speaking out against her mother.

The news that concerned Tempest is from the Griffin Empire. The grand vizier, Gilga, appointed former Griffin Imperial Army Commander Granger to the throne. Six months earlier, the official report said King Grover the Second had died due to unknown causes. Commander Granger, Grand Vizier Gilga, and their small band of followers had been long-time opponents of Grover the Second due to his positive sentiments towards the pony immigrants and advocating an official alliance with Equestria after centuries of distrust and violence. When news of King Grover II's passing reached Equestria, most Equestrian officials theorized that Gilga, Granger, and their followers had assassinated the late King so that an anti-pony king could seize power. However, that theory was never proven to be fact. Tempest didn't expect Granger to take power. It would've made sense for the grand vizier, the second-most powerful griffin in the Empire, to become King and have Granger become the commanding officer over the Imperial Griffin Army.

As Tempest is lost in thought, someone knocks on the door. She puts down her newspaper on her desk.

"Come in!" Tempest orders.

The door opens, and Tempest's desk sergeant, Sergeant Major Brick Wall, pokes his head in.

"Excuse me, Captain. Princess Celestia is here to see you," he says.

"Thank you, Sergeant Major. Send her in," Tempest orders.

Princess Celestia enters and closes the door behind her a few moments later. Tempest stands up and salutes her.

"As you were, Captain," Celestia orders.

"What can I do for you, Your Highness?" Tempest asks as she sits back down.

Princess Celestia doesn't answer at first. She merely looks down and uses her hoof to poke at the floor. Tempest flattens her gaze out of annoyance. Just because her commander-in-chief could send her to the sun or moon doesn't mean she couldn't get on Tempest's nerves.

"Do you know when 1st Lieutenant Anonymous is supposed to arrive?" Princess Celestia finally asks.

"No, Your Highness, I don't. 1st Lieutenant requested the next two days off for 'rest and recuperate' from his two-month overstay in the Crystal Empire. I gave it to him because he's probably using the two days off to finish his deployment report," Tempest explains.

"Okay. Thank you for letting me know. I want to make sure he's safe."

"With all due respect, I don't think Anon's safety should be at the top of your priorities."

Princess Celestia's concerned look dissipates, and a look of confusion replaces it.

"What are you talking about?" she asks.

Tempest turns the newspaper she is reading around and points to the article that details Granger being appointed the King of the Griffin Empire. Princess Celestia quickly reads the article. She automatically becomes worried.

"This doesn't make sense. Why would Grand Vizier Gilga appoint Commander Granger to be King? I thought he was Gilga's subordinate," Princess Celestia says.

"He wants Granger to be a puppet king, maybe," Tempest suggests.

"Perhaps. Maybe it's because Grand Vizier Gilga and Commander Granger's late father, General Gilbert, were close, and he wanted to honor him by placing his son in power."

"What does your informant say?"

"My informant doesn't know much about the Anti-Groverites. They aren't exactly keen on revealing their innermost secrets to random griffins. All the informant could tell me was her contact in the Anti-Groverites said they were plotting something to claim power over the Griffin Empire."

"We should activate some of the Royal Guard Reserve Corps, just in case. Knowing Granger, he will try to start a war with us or our allies."

"That might not be a good idea. If information about us activating even just a division of the reserves reaches the Griffin Empire just because we think they'll start a war, it might break down the little diplomacy we have with them. The nobles will also have a fit if we do something like that based on a hunch."

"Fair enough, but I couldn't give a damn what those nobles think. They are over-pompous cowards with silver spoons firmly shoved up their asses who think the EAF is theirs to command."

"Captain. Watch what you say about the nobles."

"Seriously, Your Highness? Anonymous, a low-ranking commissioned officer, can get away with the same opinion about those same nobles, but I get reprimanded. Some might say you let your relationship with Anon get in the way of discipline."

"Excellent point. Perhaps I have been a little too lenient with Anon."

"Mm-hmm. Is there something else on your mind, or is that all? You've got that look again."

This look that Tempest is referencing is one that Celestia has when she's deep in thought. When she does this, she stares deeply into someone's eyes. Not in a loving, motherly way but a creepy, concerning way.

"There's nothing else, Captain," Celestia lies.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, Your Highness. I need to file some reports," Tempest says.

"I'll let you get to it. Let me know if you hear anything about Anon."

"I will."

Princess Celestia turns around and leaves Tempest's office. Tempest uses magic to open a drawer and pulls out a manilla folder with "To Be Filed" written on it. Tempest mutters a curse as she begins to read the first report.

Anon is starting to wonder if his luck with time has gone bad. He left the Crystal Empire Train Station before 0830 hours (8:30 a.m.). The train ride to Ponyville typically takes about six hours. However, this isn't the case this time. The bridge going over Galloping Gorge had collapsed due to some bad weather. So, the train had to take an old track around the gorge. This added over five hours to the trip. Instead of arriving in Ponyville at 1430 hours (2:30 p.m.), the train pulls into the station at 1945 hours (7:45 p.m.). Anon is the only passenger to get off. He steps out onto the platform with his belongings. Barely anyone is out and about. A couple of ponies are walking home, but that's about it. Then, Anon walks to his old house in silence.

Ponyville hasn't changed much in the three-and-half years. The town's peacefulness and cozy atmosphere seem to have remained the same. A gentle breeze blows as the stars begin to twinkle. Eventually, Anon arrives at his old house. The house looks slightly different because no one has lived there for three years. Anon unlocks the door and walks in. At first, he expects the house to smell musty, but it smells clean. The scent of lemon and lavender fills the air. He walks into the bedroom and sets his backpack down on the floor next to his bed. Anon gets some matches he left behind inside his nightstand. He lights two of the six around the house. Then, he makes his bed the way he likes it. Once everything is set up, Anon sits down on the couch. He takes off his helmet and sets it next to him.

It's hard for Anon to believe that it has been over five years since he arrived in Equestria. Back then, he was just a handyman, and life was simple. There was just him, his job, and his home. As a CO in the Royal Guard, there is more to his life, which makes it complicated. Also, there is more chance of being killed in action than five years ago. Despite the simplicity of his life when he lived in Ponyville, Anon is living the life he never could back on Earth. Also, he commands more troops than he could have dreamed of. That's another perk of being an officer. The threat of being killed in action is worth every moment. Besides, he's getting to serve the country he's come to know and love. Anon visits one of his oldest friends for old-time sake. After putting on his helmet and grabbing his gift, he leaves his house, bourbon bottle in hand, and makes his way to Hard Cider's Watering Hole.

When Anon arrives at the tavern, no one notices his arrival at first due to the noise. Then, some of the townsponies notice him standing at the door. All the patrons recognize him but are surprised to see him not only after three years but in Royal Guard armor. The only ponies who haven't noticed him are the ponies at the bar and Hard Cider, who are distracted by the overabundance of customers. Anon spots an open stool just a few seats down from Hard Cider.

As Anon makes his way to said stool, he notices a few changes to the bar. One, there is a small stage in the back right corner. There is a five-member band playing smooth jazz. One of the band members is the local cellist, Octavia. The other significant change is a few employees are milling around. One of them is Carrot Cake. Anon doesn't question it and sits down at the bar.

Anon remembers that Hard Cider absolutely HATES being rushed when he's busy serving customers or being a "therapist." So, he decides to exploit this jokingly. To conceal his arrival, Anon deepens his voice.

"Hey, barkeep! What's a stallion gotta do to get a drink around here?!" Anon shouts.

"In a minute. I'm busy!" Hard Cider yells in Anon's direction.

Anon patiently waits for a few minutes before yelling out again.

"Holy shit! You could die of thirst around here!"

"I said give me a fu-"

Hard Cider looks in Anon's direction, expecting to see some random stallion, not his old friend. He drops his glass and rushes over to Anon.

"ANON!!!" he shouts happily.

Hard Cider runs over to Anon and hugs him. Anon hugs him back.

"Look at you—a 1st Lieutenant. How'd you get that rank as an enlisted...man?"

"I got into OCS. It helps to be at the top of the class."

"This calls for a celebration! Drinks are on me tonight!"

"Actually, I brought a drink we can try."

Anon puts the emerald bourbon on top of the bar. Hard Cider's eyes grow big as his mouth drops. Everyone else at the bar reacts similarly as they recognize the expensive drink.

"Where in Celestia's name did you get that?" Hard Cider asks as he takes the bottle in his magic.

"Courtesy of Prince Shining Armor and Princess Cadance," Anon replies.

"Damn. This brand is rare, even for the Crystal Empire."

"I have a connection at RGB Gemstone who can get me more if I run out."

"Let me get a couple of glasses."

Hard Cider uses magic to pick up two bourbon glasses while Anon opens the bottle. He pours an equal amount into each glass. They toast to good health and knock back the drink. Hard Cider winces and groans a little as he swallows. Anon barely blinks. Then, Anon refills the glasses, so they take another drink. Sitting next to Anon, an Earth pony stallion with a blue coat, white mane, and tail slides his glasses over.

"Do you mind if I have a sip?" he asks.

"Sure. I don't mind," Anon responds.

Anon pours the stallion a glass of the drink. The stallion knocks back the drink but spits it out.

"Are you sure that's bourbon?" the stallion asks.

"Crystal-based alcohol is about 50% stronger than the regular alcohol, Shadow. Have you never had any of this?" Hard Cider asks.

"Are you kidding me? I can never afford the good stuff. Not with my job."

"What do you do for work?" Anon asks.

"I work in construction—the name's Shadow Storm, by the way. You must be the famous Anonymous I've heard about."

"Guilty as charged. A pleasure to meet you."

Anon extends his hand and shakes Shadow's hoof. Then, he takes another sip of his drink.

"So, what have you been doing the past few years, Anon?" Hard Cider asks.

Anon talks about when he first moved to Canterlot as a handyman. He goes into his enlistment in the Royal Guard and his time with the 25th Aurora Battalion. Since everyone knows about his fight with the griffins at the Summer Sun Festival, he tries to avoid discussing that one. He tells several stories about his deployment in the Crystal Empire. He leaves out his close relationship with the Imperial Family and the Princesses because that would take too much to explain to Shadow. The other thing he leaves out is his falling out with Princess Celestia when he decides to enlist. The last thing he leaves out is Celestia's love confession. If word gets out about that, it's pretty obvious what would happen.

"What brings you back to Ponyville?" Hard Cider asks.

"Due to my overstay in the Crystal Empire, I requested two days off so I could get some rest in a peaceful environment instead of going back to the hustle and bustle of Canterlot," Anon responds.

"I hear that. My dad was from there and wanted to leave after graduating high school. He ended up settling down outside of Las Pegasus," Shadow says.

"Where I'm from, I lived in a town under 22,000 people. It was big but not enough to drive me up the wall," Anon adds.

"Appaloosa has like 400 or 600 ponies in town, but there are many more folks in the surrounding area. I think there's like a fifteen hundred more."

"What is the population of Canterlot? I've tried to access records, but some of those...nobleponies don't like it when a non-pony gets curious about the capital," Anon asks.

"Last I checked, it was between 1.8-2.0 million, but that was several years ago. I read something in the Ponyville Express that the population in Canterlot has been declining. Something like -15% each year since...Twilight moved to Ponyville seven years ago," Shadow adds.

"Any ideas as to why there is a decline?"

"I remember reading that same article, so I contacted a few connections in Canterlot from my Royal Guard days who like to play Fly on the Wall. Word has it is that some landlords, who are being paid off by some nobles, are increasing rent rates in the lower income parts of Canterlot to the point where ponies can't pay rent," Hard Cider says.

"Who are your contacts, Hard Cider? I could run this info by Princess Celestia so that she can end the corruption amongst the nobles," Anon says.

"Don't bother, Anon. It's not like she will do anything," Shadow grumbles.

Anon raises his eyebrow out of curiosity. He pours a little more of the bourbon into Shadow's glass. The stallion thanks Anon and leans his head down to take a sip.

"Elobrate," Anon says.

"With all due respect to Princess Celestia, she is too lenient with the nobles. I get that some of the nobles' families have been in the nobility since King Cosmos and Queen Galaxia were in power, but that doesn't mean she can go easy on them. They have a lot of ways and say in Princess Celestia and Luna's governmental decisions, so they should be kept in check. Cosmos would've had their heads on a fucking chopping block for half the shit the nobles do," Shadow explains.

"I might be in luck since Anon here has a personal relationship with Princess Celestia. If he brings this to her, his concerns carry some weight, and she'll handle it. If not her, Princess Luna will," Hard Cider announces.

Now, it's Shadow's turn to be curious. Anon clears his throat as his eyes face straight ahead.

"How do you know Pr-"

"Long story."

"You should explain."

"I'd rather not. As I said, it's a long story."

"Let me give you the Hoof's Notes version. They are friends because Princess Celestia was the first pony to trust Anon. I didn't even trust him since he always came into the bar in a bad mood and left roaring drunk. Well, most of the time. I guess Princess Celestia managed to find some good in this drunken fool," Hard Cider says.

"Fuck off," Anon chuckles with a smirk.

For the next few hours, the three stallions talk and drink. Shadow leaves about an hour before the last call. He leaves, trying to walk in a straight line. Instead of going through the front door, he walks into a table full of stallions and a wall. Anon, who isn't even remotely drunk, laughs at him.

Anon stays after the tavern closes to help clean up. Once everything is ready to close up, Anon gives the emerald bourbon bottle to Hard Cider to have as a keepsake and bids him farewell. He walks out of the tavern and into the cool evening. A full moon and thousands of stars light up the night sky. Anon makes the quiet trek back to his house. Aside from blowing a gentle breeze, the walk is mostly silent. This time, Anon is entirely alone. It isn't surprising since it's almost 1 a.m.

He arrives at his home a few minutes later. Anon takes off his equipment, armor, and tunic. He takes a shower and then blows out the candles. Then, Anon crawls into bed. It isn't long before he falls asleep.

Anon's eyes flutter open as a ray of sunshine hits his face. He groans as he stretches his arms and legs. After stretching, Anon puts on a clean tunic, armor, and sandals. Then, he does several sets of push-ups and their variants, sit-ups, and squats. After that, Anon puts on his sword belt and picks up his shield and spear. He walks outside to train. He stays behind the house so that no one can see him.

For almost an hour, Anon trains with his weapons. Sweat drips down his face and body as he thrusts his spear, sword, or shield. He also practices hand-to-hand combat. Then, he sets down his shield weapons in his house so he can go on a run.

When Anon lived in Ponyville, he made a jogging trail in the woods. No one knew about it, not even Princess Celestia.

Anon jogs down the trail, his legs scratched by branches and briars. He ignores the vegetation. While he jogs, he thinks about Celestia and how to respond to her love confession. He already knows how he feels about it, but what to do still bothers him. No matter how hard he tries, Anon can't think of a solution to help his predicament. He starts thinking about Celestia. He closes his eyes and imagines her face, flowing mane, and body. Then, he thinks about her voice. It was the only that could calm his troubled soul and mind back in the day. As Anon thinks about these things, his legs pick up speed. Then, he shakes his head violently, trying to get the image of Celestia out of his head. Anon doesn't want to think about her. He admits she's one of the most beautiful things he's ever seen. Deep down in his heart, he knows he loves her. However, he doesn't want to. He can't because of his promise never to trust a girl with his heart.

Then, his thoughts are cut short when Anon hears screaming. He opens his eyes to see what is happening but trips over something. He slams into the ground and tumbles a small distance. Anon groans as hoofsteps get closer to him. Pain shoots through his legs and arms.

"Anon?" a familiar filly's voice asks.

He opens his eyes and sees Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo. They have looks of bewilderment on their faces as they approach Anon.

"If it isn't the Cutie Mark Crusaders," Anon groans as he sits up.

"So, the stories are true! You are a Royal Guard!" Apple Bloom exclaims

"Yes, I am. 1st Lieutenant Anonymous of the Royal Guard, at your service. So, what are you doing here?"

"We were working on a class project," Scootaloo answers.

"We have to find fungi and present the ones we find to the class," Sweetie Belle adds.

Anon rubs his chin. He thinks back to when he had to forge for food when he first came to Ponyville. He motions for the Cutie Mark Crusaders to follow him. They walk a short distance to a marshy area near the river. As Anon remembered, it has plenty of fungi. He watches the fillies as they pick a few fungi. He even points out the toxic and the edible ones. When they finish, Anon escorts them to the trailhead. As they walk, he notices something different about the CMCs. Instead of coming up to his knees, they are mid-thigh. Secondly, he notices they have cutie marks.

"Where are you off to now?" Anon asks.

"We are going to the Carousel Boutique to finish the project," Apple Bloom answers.

Anon gets an idea. Of course, he only resorts to this idea because he's desperate for a solution. Anon grumbles a curse in Spanish as he looks down at the CMCs.

"Would you mind if I escorted you back? I have to talk to Rarity about some new tunics for my uniform," Anon asks.

"I don't see why not," Sweetie Belle replies.

The other two agree with her.

"Alright, then. Let's swing by my place so I can grab something first," Anon says.

"Okay!" the fillies explain.

The small group walks to Anon's house. He has them wait on the front porch while he freshens up. Then, he puts on his sword belt and walks with the fillies into town.

Eventually, the group arrives at the Carousel Boutique. Anon is about to knock on the door, but the CMCs burst through the door. Anon furrows his eyes. This causes Opal, Rarity's cat, to yowl and jump. The hair on her back stands up. She calms down and then prances to her bed.

Anon never liked cats, especially this one, because of how she acted due to being spoiled rotten. When Anon steps through the door, he flips Opal off. In return, she turns her nose up at him.

"Rarity! We're ba-ack!" Sweetie Bellw shouts in a sing-songy voice.

"Sweetie Belle! Not knocking before entering a room is rude and not ladylike, you know," Rarity responds.

I was just about to say that, Anon thinks to himself.

Rarity entered the showroom from her bedroom. Her sewing glasses are still on her face, and sweat is dripping down her forehead. At first, there is a scowl on Rarity's face since she's looking at her sister. Then, a look of surprise appears when Rarity sees Anon standing there. She immediately takes off her glasses and wipes the sweat off her face.

"Anon!?" Rarity shouts.

"What's up," he responds, giving a gentle wave.

The CMCs gallop into an adjacent room so they can finish their project.

"What are you doing here?" Rarity asks.

"I was deployed in the Crystal Empire for eight months, so I took two days off before returning to Canterlot."

"You didn't let anypony know you were coming?"

"I wanted to surprise everyone and to avoid being jumpscared by Pinkie Pie at one of her surprise parties."

"That's understandable. Please. Have a seat while I make us some tea."

Anon sits down in a chair that is off to the side. He removes his helmet and sets it next to him.

Rarity hums a tune as she prepares the kettle on the stove. It's a song that Anon has heard over the years. It's a serenade called The Lonely Dreamer, about a poor, lonely stallion who wishes to be with a wealthy mare who is betrothed to another stallion, but she loves the lonely stallion in return. It's a bittersweet song that ponies have a love-hate relationship with. What made the song much sadder is that it's based on a true story. The even sadder thing is that the penniless stallion killed himself after the wealthy mare was married.

It isn't long before the kettle begins to whistle. Then, there is the gentle clinking of a tea set. A few minutes later, Rarity approaches with the tea kettle, pair of tea cups, and saucers in her magic. She sits on the table between Anon and the chair opposite him after pouring the hot tea into the cups. Rarity picks up her cup and sits down in her chair. Anon takes a sip of the tea. He lets the hot liquid sit in his mouth as he tastes hints of sage and hazel.

"What brings you to my humble abode?" Rarity asks.

"I ran into Sweetie Belle and her friends while they were looking for fungi. Since I was in town and they were heading back to your place, I decided to swing by.," Anon responds.

"That's sweet of you."

"I apologize for not coming back to Ponyville sooner."

"No worries, Anon. I understand that being a Royal Guard has responsibilities that take precedence, especially since you are an officer."

"I just feel bad because I promised to return and didn't make good on it."

"Is fulfilling a promise the only reason you came by, or is there another reason."

Anon runs his hand through his close-cut hair. He sighs as he leans forward. He tries to figure out where to start. Anon knows the CMCs are eavesdropping, so he doesn't want to reveal damning information to a group of fillies. Therefore, Anon goes with a different approach.

From Rarity's perspective, Anon looks stressed. His hunched-over body and sweat beading on his green forehead indicate that. She had never seen Anon like this before. Rarity has always seen him in a calm and collected state. Then, Anon looks up with a blank stare that's all too familiar.

"There's this friend of mine that's having a bit of an issue in the mare department," Anon starts.

As he mentions the "friend," Anon points at himself. Rarity notices the gesture and nods slightly to acknowledge she knows what Anon means.

"What's the issue?" Rarity asks.

"A special mare in his life kinda sorta confessed to him. He's received all kinds of advice from a friend but doesn't know what to do. My friend wants to love her with all his heart but can't let himself. He made a dumb promise not to give his heart to a girl again after a heartbreak many years ago. He wants to run to her and say he wants to be in love with her, but his heart and promise are holding him back. He says it feels like sleep paralysis is holding him back. My friend is trying to scream that he's scared about being in love, but he can't."

"That must be a horrible situation for your friend. Is this mare's feeling reciprocated?"

"That's the thing. My friend doesn't know if that's what he wants. He doesn't care if he gets hurt in the process. He doesn't want to hurt this mare."

"Does your friend plan on talking to this mare about this situation?"

"He does. He prefers sooner rather than later."

"Relay this advice to your friend: Be honest with your feelings. It's far easier than hiding them in your heart and leaving things unsaid."

Anon leans back, sips some of his tea, and sets the cup back down. He sighs and sits in silence for a moment.

"Thanks, Rarity. My friend will appreciate this advice."

"My pleasure, Anon."

Rarity and Anon talk some more for a little over an hour. It's about then when Anon's stomach begins to grumble in hunger. In his excitement and stress, he had forgotten to eat the day's most important meal. He uses this as an excuse to swing by Sugar Cube Corner for a quick meal. After thanking Rarity for the tea and conversation, Anon takes his leave. He says goodbye to the CMCs whom he catches eavesdropping. Then, he leaves Carousel Boutique.

Ponyville's Market Square is full of its usual late-morning hustle and bustle. Ponies purchase their necessities from various stalls. Each one, Anon observes, even though there hasn't been a major incident in Ponyville since he got stabbed. Then again, very little news about the town reaches Canterlot.

There is a stall that catches Anon's eye. This one has a large red apple on the top. At the stand are Granny Smith and Applejack. They are selling an assortment of apple pastries and apples, as usual. Anon wants to say "hi," but the line is exceptionally long, and his stomach is his commanding officer. He decides to say hello after he eats something.

After a few more minutes of walking, Anon arrives at Sugar Cube Corner. He expects to be tackled by a familiar pink pony, but nothing happens when he opens the doors. The only thing that happens is a few ponies turn and look at him. Mrs. Cup Cake looks up from the register with an interested look as Anon approaches the counter.

"Oh, if it isn't Anon. I had heard you were back in town," Mrs. Cake says.

"Yes, I am, but only for a couple of days; then I have to go back to Canterlot," Anon says.

"That's good to hear. What can I do for you?"

"I'm sorry, Anon, but the next batch won't be ready for another six minutes. I hope you don't mind waiting."

"I don't mind. I'll stake a black coffee in the meantime."

"Okay, then. That'll be three and a quarter bits."

Anon opens a little pouch on his sword belt, which holds his bits. He removes four bits from said pouch since he doesn't have a quarter-bit coin and sets it on the counter. Mrs. Cake takes the four gold coins. Then, she takes out a half-bit and a quarter-bit from the register. Anon puts the change in his pouch. He is given an eight-ounce cup of steaming coffee a few seconds later. He sits down at a table off to himself. Then, he removes his helmet and sets it on the table.

For the next few minutes, Anon sips his coffee, lost in thought. He stares at the ponies walking down the street in front of the cafe. He thinks about Rarity's advice along with Princess Cadence's advice. Anon is zoned out that he didn't notice Carrot Cake walk up to him with the blueberry muffin in his hoof. He tries to get Anon's attention by sliding the plate upon which the muffin sits. Then, he waves a hoof in front of the human's face. Anon shakes his head to break his trance.

"Lost in thought?" Carrot Cake asks.

"Yeah," Anon replies.

"Sorry about the wait. Today's busier than usual, so we ran out of muffins. I spent the past three hours making more of pretty much everything we sell here."

Anon picks up the muffin and takes a bite. The warm pastry fills his mouth. He chews slowly as he closes his eyes. Then, he swallows the muffin and drinks his coffee to wash it down.

"Well?" Mr. Cake inquires.

"Best damn muffin I've had in years."

"I'm glad to hear it."

"I noticed you were working at Hard Cider's last night. When did you start working there?"

"Ever since you saved Princess Celestia, news that you were from here and went to that bar a lot spread around. You became a local celebrity even though you weren't here. Hard Cider's Watering Hole became a popular spot for visitors and locals. It got so busy that Hard Cider asked Cloud Slasher and me to help him."

"I'm surprised. That 'local celebrity' shit in Canterlot died once the nobles got tired of me. Not that they already are or anything."

"That isn't a shocker. What is shocking is that you don't have a marefriend yet, at least from what I can tell. I figured you'd have since you've been here for over five years. Saving the princess would've gotten some mare's attention."

Anon snorts. He has gotten tired of ponies bringing that up. Dealing with the whole Celestia didn't do his annoyance any favors. That is already bothering him beyond comprehension. However, he didn't let Carrot Cake know that. Anon leans back in his chair, sighs, and takes another sip of his coffee.

"Being an officer in the Royal Guard carries a lot of responsibilities. I think dating might get in the way," Anon says nonchalantly.

"If you say so," Mr. Cake responds.

"Speaking of a special someone, how did you meet your wife?"

"We met at Vanhoover University. I was a business major while Cup Cake was a confection major."

"Confections is a major?"

"It is—a popular one, at that. Anyway, we were introduced by a mutual friend at his birthday party. My wife and I started hanging out a lot more after that night. However, I started to have a crush on her, but I didn't say anything."

"How come?"

"I was afraid of screwing our friendship up. That thought kept me up at night. Eventually, she confessed to me. I was happy, but I thought she could do better than me. I mean, look at my overbite. I thought it made me hideous."

Anon frowns at the overbite worry but hides it as he eats the last bit of his muffin.

"What did you tell her?" Anon asks.

"I told her I wanted to think about it. After about a day or two, we became a thing."

"The overbite caused you to think about a potential relationship with a mare?"

"No, it wasn't that. It was the fact she was a freshman, and I was a junior when we met. I'd be long gone by the time she graduates. However, we walked about it some more. I agreed to rent an apartment nearby so we could be together. I could work, and she could finish school. Everypony wins."

"I guess that's an area you can compromise."

"Compromising in certain areas of a relationship is a good thing. It shows there's communication, and that's essential in any relationship. Now, compromising in areas such as standards is never a good idea. Now, if the standards are unreal-"

Anon raises his hand and says, "I get the picture, Mr. Cake."

"Oh, there I go, rambling again. My apologies, Anon."

"No harm done. You were giving advice."

"That's good. I was worried I was going to make your ears bleed."

"I don't mind listening and talking while I eat. Good company is always welcome."

"Another piece of advice: avoid the Friendship Castle until, say... sevenish."

"Let me guess. A Pinkie Pie 'Welcome Home' surprise party preparations."

"You got it. I thought you'd want to know to avoid having Pinkie in the 'a mood' from somepony who she's throwing the party seeing her preparations."

"Gotcha. I should have known she'd plan something as soon as she found out I was back. Thank you for the heads-up."

"No problem, Anon. Well, I have to get back to work. It was nice talking to you."

"Likewise."

Anon shakes Carrot Cake's hoof, and then the pony walks away.

Half an hour later, Anon leaves Sugar Cube Corner and begins wandering through Ponyville, trying to find something to do. For the first time since arriving in Equestria, Anon is bored. He always had something to occupy his time. There was his freelance job as a Royal handyman and now a Royal Guard. He is bored. Now, that feeling has crept back into his life. He sighs and decides to visit another pony. That pony is Fluttershy.

Anon doesn't take long to get to Fluttershy's cottage. When he arrives, he doesn't see her at first but hears her singing a little tune. Anon walks around to the side of the cottage. Fluttershy is feeding her birds. They flap their wings happily as their caretaker pours them their seeds. One of the birds is Anon's favorite bird, the mockingbird. Silas, Anon's old friend from Earth, taught him a little trick to do with this type of bird. Anon whistles a tune from a TV show from his childhood. The gray and white bird repeats it. Then, Anon whistles it again but in a deeper pitch. The mockingbird sings a few seconds later. A canary looks over at Anon and chirps at Fluttershy.

"A Royal Guard is here? Where?" Fluttershy asks.

The canary tweets again. Fluttershy turns around and sees Anon standing there.

"Anon? What are you doing here?" she asks with a smile.

"I'm in town on leave, so I decided to swing by and say hi."

"That's sweet of you. Let me finish feeding the birds and Mr. Bear, and then we can go inside for some tea and catch up."

"Sounds good."

Fluttershy shows Anon how to feed the birds she hasn't gotten to yet. The birds are a little nervous about Anon due to only ever seeing him from a distance. Fluttershy calms them down by telling them to trust her. Next, they feed Mr. Bear. Of course, the giant bear isn't nervous about Anon. They give the bear a few salmon fillets before going inside the cottage. As Fluttershy makes the tea, Anon sits down on the couch. He continues to think about the advice he's been given in the past few hours. A few minutes later, Fluttershy arrives with a small tray with a cast-iron kettle and tiny tea cups. She sets them down on the coffee table and pours the tea into the cups.

"I hope you like mint tea. It's all I had. I've been meaning to buy more, but I've been busy," Fluttershy says.

"Mint tea is fine. Thank you," Anon responds.

The two talk for a while, catching up. What surprises Anon the most is that Fluttershy talks the most.

A lot of what she talks about is a new sanctuary for injured animals that she started a couple of years ago. She even gets funding from the mayor to help run it. Some of the Elements and school foals volunteer there. As expected, the sanctuary always accepts donations. Anon makes a mental note to send one when he returns to Canterlot.

Anon talks a little about his Crystal Empire deployment and experiences there. He leaves out any combat talk due to Fluttershy not liking combat.

Then, Fluttershy brings up the Grand Galloping Gala. Anon remembers that the Gala is coming up in a few months. He only went to the Grand Galloping Gala when the 25th Aurora Battalion and the 3rd Eclipse Battalion were assigned guard duty. Anon hated it because of the snobby nobles and entitled rich ponies. They expected the guards to act as their servants rather than follow the princesses' orders. When told this, the elite chews out the guards and gives the "Do you know who I am" speech.

According to Fluttershy, all of the Elements and a plus one will attend this year. She asks Anon if he's going to go. He says if he's assigned guard duty, he will. Then, Fluttershy explains what she meant. When he understands, Anon says he won't attend and doesn't like dances even though he DJ'ed at a few when he was a teenager.

They talk for a few more minutes before Anon politely takes his leave. The two bid each other farewell, though Anon knows they'll see each other at the party in a few hours. He makes the trek back to his house. When he arrives, he decides to nap before the party because he knows he will need some rest if he's going to a Pinkie party. Anon removes his armor and sits on his old desk. Then, he lies down. It isn't long before he drifts off to sleep.

It's the middle of the night. All is calm and quiet. Anon is lying in his bed, sound asleep and snoring away.

The "surprise" party went off without a hitch. Anon ate more than he had since moving to Canterlot. He didn't drink a whole lot of alcohol due to the fact he needed to be somewhat coherent, and Pinkie usually doesn't handle drunken ponies well. No one could say the same for Spike. He drank a bottle of vodka that he thought was a bottle of lime-lemon soda. There wasn't a label on the bottle. When he eventually tossed his cookies outside, his vomit came with a blast of green dragonfire. Things got interesting when Princess Celestia sent a letter to Twilight asking why she sent her a patch of burnt grass and dirt. Anon was rolling on the ground, laughing at the letter.

When Anon got home at 0200 hours (2 a.m.), he quickly showered and went to bed. He is having a good dream about hanging out at a bar with his friends. He is laughing at a joke that Sergeant Major Lucky Charms made. Then, everything suddenly freezes. Suddenly, Anon feels as if he is awakened, but he isn't at the same time. The entire bar disappears and transforms into an outer space landscape. He is floating in midair, as well.

"What the fuck?" Anon asks.

"Do not be alarmed, friend Anonymous," a familiar voice asks.

Anon turns around and sees none other than Princess Luna flying toward him.

"Hold on. What the hell is this?" Anon asks, annoyed.

"I have finally achieved a way to enter your subconscious mind. Since you do not have magic, even innate magic, you cannot access the Dream Realm. This is due to you coming from a world without magic."

"It took you over five years to figure that out?"

"Oh, I knew you did not have magic. Skilled unicorns and alicorns can sense the magic around us and others, even in an ant. Entering your subconscious mind was the hard part. Astral projection is the only attempt that succeeded."

"I thought astral projection is a forbidden spell."

"It is, but only because it is hazardous, even for an alicorn."

"Ah. So, I am lucid dreaming?"

"Something similar."

"Okay, so why are you in my head interrupting my sleep."

"For the record, friend Anonymous, you are still asleep. Secondly, I think you know why I want to talk to you."

Anon is silent. He thinks as to what Luna is talking about, but only for a few moments. He sighs as he relaxes his gaze.

"This is about Tia's feelings about me, isn't it?"

Luna nods her head.

"I'd rather not talk about that right now," Anon announces.

"Why not?" Luna asks.

"Because it's shocking and confusing as fuck."

"Why exactly is it shocking and confusing, as you put it?"

"It's not every day a semi-immortal princess confesses her feelings to you. Not only that, why me, of all people? I'm the opposite of what she should look for in a guy. I'm not exactly the knight in shining armor everyone thinks I am."

"You and I both know that Tia is the type of pony to see the good in others and overlook their seemingly less-than-redeeming qualities."

"I know that, but I'm concerned that if we got together, it would be her undoing."

Luna raises her eyebrow out of confusion. What doesn't make sense to her is how a relationship between her sister and Anon would ruin an over 6,000-year rule.

"I do not understand," Luna confesses.

"Let's say your sister and I started dating. Many ponies would be happy, even celebrate. Hell, Pinkie Pie would throw a party in our honor. However, some ponies won't. The nobles will see every promotion, every medal, or anything I get career-wise as her giving them to me, even if I achieved those awards myself. They are elected officials, so they are the people's voice in the government and, most importantly, have their respect. The nobles can sway the people's opinion of Tia. No one wants to be ruled by someone they don't like. Think it's pretty obvious what would happen next," Anon explains.

"Revolution, then, more than likely, civil war. Those are extreme outcomes, though."

"I'd use the words 'logical extremes.'"

"That is a fair assessment, but still nonetheless extreme."

"Let's not forget that if Tia and I get married and decide to have an heir, it would be impossible since humans and ponies can't procreate."

"That does present a problem."

"Look, it's not like I haven't considered dating your sister. I want to love and cherish her. It's just the cons outweigh the pros."

"You are making too many excuses for Royal Guard, an officer no less. I expected more from you."

"It's because I'm scared, okay? I'm scared of hurting her. I'm a mortal with fifty to seventy good years left in me. She's got thousands of years ahead of her. When I eventually die, my death will hurt her more than any sword, spear, or arrow could. It's not fair to put her through something like that."

"A genuine fear, and one you should bring up to Tia tomorrow or... later today. I'm sure you two will find a solution to make you both happy."

Suddenly, there is a rumbling sound that startles Anon but doesn't phase Luna. He looks around frantically to search for the source of the rumbling. She turns around and ignites her horn.

"What the fuck is going on?" Anon asks.

"You are waking. I must go before that happens. If I'm caught in your mind, theory suggests it would be disastrous."

"I guess I'll see you when I return to Canterlot."

"See you when you arrive."

Luna shoots a beam of blue magic at a random spot in the landscape and cuts through it. A bright light, as bright as the sun itself, shines through. Then, Luna flies into the light. It isn't long before the light overtakes everything. A few seconds later, Anon opens his eyes to a new day.

One thing recently is starting to grind Anon's gears in nervousness. The three-hour train ride from Ponyville to Canterlot doesn't help. His stomach feels like it's in a knot as he anticipates his meeting with Celestia. Anon tries taking a nap, but his nervousness keeps him awake. All of this makes the train ride seem to take longer.

Since waking up, Anon has been deciding what to say to Celestia. Once most of the kings were worked out, Anon bought a ticket for the earliest train to Canterlot, which was at 0900 (9:00 a.m.) hours. Even still, the day seems to drag along.

After about thirty more minutes, the train pulls into the station. Anon is first to stand up and off the train. He then jogs through Sector 3. Most ponies see him running down the street, so they move out of the way. Going through Sectors 1 and 2 is a different story. The Canterlot elite will not move for anyone, even if you are in a hurry. They'll see you as that obstacle. So, Anon stows himself down to a speedwalk.

He finally reaches the castle. Anon stands at the gates momentarily to review what he has to do before seeing Celestia. Then, Anon walks forward with a heavy sigh. At the gate, the Royal Guards, a pair of Corporals, salute him as he approaches. Anon salutes back.

First, he goes to Officer's Barracks to drop off his backpack. He takes both copies of his ADR (After-Deployment Report) and goes to Captain Tempest Shadow's officer. Her desk sergeant isn't at her post, so Anon knocks on the door. There is no answer. He knocks one more time to double-check. No one answers. Anon lays his report on the desk sergeant's chair and goes to the next thing on his to-do list. That is to see Princess Celestia.

As Anon gets closer to Princess Celestia's private study, his stomach churns more and more. The lump in his throat doesn't help him at all. Eventually, he arrives at Celestia's secretary, Raven Inkwell's, desk. She looks up from some papers she is going through.

"Oh, 1st Lieutenant Anonymous. It's good to see you again," Raven says.

"You, too, Ms. Inkwell," Anon responds.

"Is there something I can help you with?"

"I'm supposed to meet with Princess Celestia about my deployment in the Crystal Empire."

"I did see that on her schedule. She even cleared everything on this afternoon's agenda because she didn't know when you'd return."

"I guess I shouldn't keep the princess waiting."

Anon walks forward, trying to control his composure. The two Royal Guards at the door salute as Anon approaches them. He salutes back. The one on the left, a Sergeant Major, opens the door and pokes his head in the door. She lets Princess Celestia know of Anon's arrival. Seconds later, Celestia is standing in the doorway. She makes eye contact with Anon.

"Guards, leave us. I need a little privacy with 1st Lieutenant Anonymous. We have a few important matters to discuss. I'll call for you when we are finished," Celestia orders.

"Yes, Your Majesty," the guards reply.

Anon passes the guards as he enters the private study and closes the door behind him. Celestia sits behind her desk while Anon sits in the chair in front of her.

"It's good to see you again, Anon," Celestia says.

"You, too, Tia," Anon replies.

"I'm assuming you have your ADR."

"Yeah, it's right here."

Anon hands the two-page report to Celestia. Her magic envelopes the report, and she sets it aside. He can tell that she isn't entirely interested in his report. She's incredibly nervous, which is rare. The few times Anon has seen Celestia nervous, he noticed her name billows slower.

"How was the Crystal Empire?" Celestia asks.

"Enlightening, to say the least," Anon responds.

"That's good to he-"

"Tia. Let's cut to the chase. I think it's obvious that both of us aren't here to talk about my deployment. Am I right to assume you want to know how I felt about eight months ago?"

"You'd be correct."

Anon removes his helmet and sets it next to him. He sighs heavily as he gathers his thoughts. Then, he reaches across the desk and grabs Celestia's hoof—her heart rate increases.

"Tia, I... feel a lot of different emotions right now. I'm shocked that a princess is in love with me. I'm confused about why you chose me. I'm scared of what might happen, but I'm genuinely flattered that you want time to be with your special someone. I can't feel just a single emotion, but the one that is the strongest is fear. I'm afraid of hurting you, Tia. For a while, I've considered being in a relationship with you. I want to love you. I want to be with you, but I'm too terrified of hurting you," Anon explains.

"How could you hurt me?" Celestia.

"By dying. I can only live a tiny fraction of what you can live. The death of a significant other is a horrible pain to bear. I don't want to have to put you through that."

"It's already too late, Anon. I already love you with all my heart. I'm fully aware that I will eventuality of you passing away. I'm prepared as much as I can to deal with that pain. Either way, I will cherish the time that we had together. That's how much I love you."

Anon sighs. As usual, Celestia is right.

"I need some time to think about what to do. I want to ensure that whatever I do is the right decision."

"Take all the time you need. Any decision you make, I'll support you."

"That's all I ask for. I appreciate it, Tia."

"Of course."

Anon squeezes Celestia's hoof tightly as he thinks about something to say but settles on a promise he made. He gives Celestia's hoof one final squeeze before letting go. Anon straightens up in his seat.

"Now that's out of the way, and there was something else I wanted to talk to you about," Anon announces.

"Really? And that is?" Celestia asks curiously.

"It's a battle formation that's from my world. I had practiced it with the 35th Corona Battalion. It was a successful attempt, and I believe it can be useful on the battlefield."

"What is this formation called?"

Anon grins widely.

"I'm glad you asked. Let me tell you about the people who made it famous: the Spartans."

Author's Notes:

It's good to have Anon back home with the 25th Aurora Battalion. I also decided to revisit some of our friends in Ponyville, mainly because I missed having Anon and Hard Cider converse.
This chapter was tough to write because I didn't know whether to have Anon reciprocate Princess Celestia's feelings for him or have it cook a little more. I decided on the latter since I have more in mind for the two. I also didn't think the chapter would be this long, but it's best not to set limits on word count when it comes to writing.
One last thing, HOLY CRAP!! After over two and a half years of writing and 5.2k views later, I finally have over 100,000 words. I'm glad to have undertaken this journey as a high-school senior; now, as a college junior, I don't regret a single word written. I don't know if my story has impacted anyone, but I'm happy regardless of whether I have.

Now, on to the following chapter title spoiler:
Chapter 15: The C.O.B.A (Commissioned Officers Battlefield Assessment) Part 1

The COBA (Commissioned Officers' Battlefield Assessment) PART 1

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Chapter 15

The Commissioned Officers Battlefield Assessment is a six-day event that examines the combat prowess and battlefield knowledge of the commissioned officers of all three branches of the Equestrian Armed Forces. Officers from 2nd Lieutenant to Captain will be randomly selected by the Generals of the Equestrian Armed Forces to participate. The COBA is to help commissioned officers receive awards and promotions during extended periods of peace.

COBA is composed of three tests. The first test is Battle Royale, which will test the individual combat skill against other officers of the same rank. The officers will fight until there is only one left standing. A magical barrier will push the officers together so that the match will end faster, and eliminations will be more frequent. The second test is Conquest. The officer and the unit he commands will face another officer of equal rank and their unit in a battlefield scenario where they will capture five different control points. Whoever captures all of the control points will win the match. The third and final test is War Games, where the officer and the unit he commands will face an officer of an equal rank and their unit in a realistic combat scenario. Victory is obtained if the commanding officer is "killed," the entire unit surrenders or the entire unit is "killed."

- The Commissioned Officers Battlefield Assessment definition.

It's been one month since Anon came back from his deployment. He had gone back to his routine, even with Celestia's true feelings for him on his mind. During the past month, he considered how to move forward with Celestia. Sometimes, Anon refused to see her so he could think coherently without any interference. The more and more he thought, the more he began to consider a potential relationship with Celestia. He takes some additional advice from Princess Cadance and continues to spend more time with Celestia. One of the things they do alone is take walks at night on the castle's many walls, bridges, and terraces. Sometimes, they'd stand silently and look at the stars. Each time, Anon would hold Celestia's hoof to reassure her that he still cared about her. During this time, Anon began to accept kisses on the cheek from Celestia.

As time passed, Anon came closer to deciding how to feel about Celestia. However, life had other plans in store. Everything came to a halt when Anon was sitting in his office.

He is reading a report about an arrest that happened two days ago. A noble had been arrested for bribing a landlord to increase his tenants' rates in Sector 6 so they'd be forced to leave Canterlot. Anon signs his name at the bottom to signify that the report is accepted and is being sent up the chain of command. Finally, all his paperwork for the day is done, so Anon leans back in his chair. He picks up Daring Do and the Al-Kaaba Compass and starts reading where he left off. He doesn't get very far when someone knocks on his door. Anon groans as he takes his feet off his desk.

"Come in," Anon groans.

Sergeant Major Silk Web opens the door with an envelope in her mouth. She walks in and sets it on his desk.

"A letter from upstairs," she says.

"From Princess Celestia or Luna?" Anon asks.

"No, sir. It's from General Spear Shaft."

Anon raises an eyebrow out of interest. He opens the envelope and begins reading. Silk Web sees Anon's face become increasingly serious as he reads. Finally, he sets it down and walks over to his small bookshelf. Anon pulls out a large leather book off the middle shelf.

"Well, what did the General have to say?" Silk Web asks.

"I've been selected to participate in the COBA this year," Anon responds flatly.

"Really? That's a big honor."

"Yeah, I guess so."

Anon sits back down, but his face looks concerned as he reads the book. He sighs heavily when he turns to the chapter titled "Formations." He takes notes on a sheet of lined notebook paper.

Sergeant Web can automatically tell something is wrong. To get Anon's attention, she clears her throat.

"Yes?" Anon asks as he looks up with an annoyed expression.

"I'm just concerned, sir. I haven't seen you like this in a long time," Silk Web says.

"I'm nervous about the COBA. I think you know that the nobles use the event to get rid of COs, who aren't their children, to advance the kids' careers. Sure, the Generals of the EAF choose us, but it's only at the recommendation of the nobles."

"Is it right to assume you want to break the status quo, but there are other mitigating issues."

"I've been doing that since I enlisted in the Royal Guard, but the odds are stacked against me this time."

"How long do you have before the opening ceremony?"

"Two-and-half months. I'll have to tell the 25th about this. Not only will I need to prepare, they will, too."

"What will you need me to do during that time?"

"Put any letters sent to me in my office. I'll pick them up after the guard changes. Send anyone to the training grounds if someone comes to see me."

"Yes, sir. Need anything else?"

"Nope. That'll be all, Sergeant Major."

Silk Web leaves Anon's office and closes the door. He sighs heavily as he continues reading. He spends most of the afternoon in his office. He doesn't take any visitors or leave for anything except for changing the guard at the end of the day. Eventually, Princess Celestia has to get him so he can eat.

At first, when she knocks, Anon tells her to leave, not realizing who it is. This time, Celestia opens the door without knocking. Anon sits up with a glare on his face. When he finally sees Celestia, he starts to shout an insult.

"You were saying?" Celestia teases.

"Oh, I... uh... nothing. What are you doing here?" Anon says.

"You've been in your office for hours, and it's almost eight o'clock, and you haven't eaten anything."

"I must've lost track of time."

Anon yawns as he stands up. He puts on his helmet and walks out of his office. He is primarily silent the entire walk to the Royal Dining Hall, with an occasional yawn or growl breaking his silence. When they arrive, Anon stops and looks down at his feet. Celestia looks at him, confused.

"I'm too fucking tired to eat, Tia," he sighs.

"You need to eat something," Celestia pleaded.

"I can barely walk, and not to mention I've been up since 4 a.m. The only thing I need right now is sleep."

Celestia knows better than to try to reason with a tired Anon because he's ten times more stubborn than usual when he's that way. With a shake of her head, Celestia ignites her horn. There is a flash of yellow magic, and the two are instantly gone. They appear in front of the Officer's Barracks in the same manner they left, except that Anon is slightly doubled over and is holding his stomach. Celestia also notices that he looks a little greener than usual.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

"No. Next time... urk... warn me before you teleport me. I get... ugh... sick. Ask Twilight about the first... oh fuck... she teleported me."

"I don't think I want to know about that."

"That's... fucking shit... understandable."

They stand there for a moment in awkward silence. Celestia doesn't want to embarrass Anon before any officers or Lunar Guards are watching, so she refrains from any displays of affection. All she does is wish him a good night and flies away. Anon goes back to his room. Of course, Comet Flash, Astral Storm, and Thunder Hooves are in an intense blackjack game. They aren't gambling with bits but sour cream and onion potato chips this time. They offer to deal Anon into the game, but he turns them down primarily because he's too tired to gamble and outsmart the experienced gamblers.

Anon walks into his room and takes off all of his equipment. Then, he goes to take a shower. As the warm water falls on him, he thinks about the mound of information that he studied earlier that day. Most of the strategies that Anon planned strategy fit well with the 25th. He knows them better than anyone. However, one additional formation wasn't considered or taught on the 25th. That would be the phalanx. The COBA would be the perfect place to show it off. Then again, the battlefield needs to have the perfect conditions. Either way, Anon plans to teach his troops the phalanx formation tomorrow. Whether it will work or not will be determined by his troops.

It's the day before the COBA opening ceremony. Every soldier across the country is excited. The arena where the COBA was previously held was torn down and rebuilt to be much larger and relocated to Canterlot Mountain's base. A much smaller stadium for the ceremony was built, as well. Every officer who was selected is transported to the arena via train. Six 2nd Lieutenants, four 1st Lieutenants, and four Captains are from Canterlot. They weren't required to wear their armor until the opening ceremony. Anon wears a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. His armor, weapons, extra clothes, and sandals are in a duffle bag. His shield is lying on the duffle bag. Some books and writing materials are in his backpack. The train leaves for the arena in an hour. The Solar Guards train would arrive soon after. As usual, the Lunar Guards would leave last. There are three train cars, each with the Royal Guard emblem emblazoned on them. The one for the 2nd Lieutenants is last, the one for the 1st Lieutenants is second, and the car for the Captains is first.

Over the next 45 minutes, the other officers arrive at the train station. Anon sits next to a pillar closest to his assigned train car. He speaks to the other officers as they arrive. It is different to see them without their armor and weapons. However, most of the others haven't seen Anon in human clothes. They even poked and prodded at his tennis shoes since they had never seen shoes like those. However, the good conversations are ruined when 1st Lieutenant Golden Lance arrives. There is a smug grin on his face. Instead of either causal wear, he is wearing a full suit. All of his gear is in a leather suitcase.

"Who invited this fucker?" Velvet Yarn, a female earth pony, asks quietly.

"The COBA hasn't even started, and we are already screwed," Silver Lining, a male pegasus, grumbles.

Anon shakes his head. He knew that a demoralized officer would demoralize his unit. That being said, with Golden Lance, it isn't an easy task. He led the 7th Sunspot Battalion, the best Royal Guard battalion in Canterlot, and the whole branch. He is a skilled fighter and a brilliant tactician. He has beaten every other 1st Lieutenant in single combat or War Games. All of those victories and his nobility status make him extremely unbearable to be around. Anon rarely talked to him because even talking to him can turn into an uphill battle. However, that didn't stop the pompous unicorn from talking down to Anon.

"Well, if it isn't the Ape," Golden Lance sneers.

Anon doesn't say a word and ignores him.

"I've got to say I'm not surprised that your traitor captain isn't here. I am surprised that you are here, Ape."

In everyday situations, Anon would continue to ignore him, but remaining silent is out of the question now that Tempest is involved. Insulting an officer of equal rank is one thing, but insulting a commanding officer, especially one that Anon has become close to, is another. Anon decides to go for the throat.

"I'm surprised you didn't show up with your mommy to kiss you goodbye. Did she finally say you are a big stallion now and can walk to the station yourself?" Anon retorts, "Here's a gold star sticker for a big boy stallion for taking big boy stallion steps."

Anon reaches into his pocket, but instead of pulling out a sticker, he flips off Golden Lance. He mouths "fuck you" to add insult to Golden Lance's injured ego. Golden is now very furious. Most of the time, he never has to engage in a battle of wits with someone. He's about to shout another insult, but Anon beats him to the proverbial punch.

"Oh, don't stomp your little hoofsies, Golden. It's not nice to throw a temper tantrum," Anon says with a devilish grin.

"Mark my words, Ape, by the end of the week, you will regret even coming to Equestria," Golden Lance snarls.

"We'll see," Anon grumbles.

Golden Lance snorts as he turns around and sits on a nearby bench by himself. The other 1st Lieutenants talked for about another ten minutes before the conductor announced to start boarding. Anon grabs his gear and boards the train. He finds a seat at the back of the car. He puts his duffle bag and his shield in the overhead compartment. Anon lays down in the seat, using his backpack as a pillow, and closes his eyes to nap.

When the train starts moving, he falls asleep. However, the nap isn't long. It is interrupted when someone taps Anon on the leg. He opens his eyes slightly and notices a well-dressed male pegasus standing at his feet. It's not the conductor, but someone who worked on the train.

"Can I help you?" Anon asks groggily.

"I wanted to know if you'd like something to drink," the stallion explains.

"What do you have?"

"I have water, an assortment of teas, alcohol, and hot chocolate."

Anon sits up and looks at the car the stallion is pulling behind him. He rubs his chin as he decides on what to drink. Eventually, Anon decides on hot chocolate since he hasn't had any since before his enlistment. The stallion pours the drink into the cup and gives it to Anon. He thanks the stallion with a nod.

As the stallion turns to serve the next pony, Anon sips his drink. Unlike the store-bought powder that ends up tasting watered down, it's creamy and rich with flavor. Anon sighs happily as he leans back into his seat. Instead of falling asleep, he moves to the window to watch the descent down Canterlot Mountain.

After finishing his hot chocolate, Anon reads his tactics and formations books. He takes more notes and makes slight adjustments to his plans. He memorizes a lot of quotes from Art of War by Flash Magnus during the ride.

About halfway into the ride, the same stallion returned with a car with cheese and crackers. Since Anon is an omnivore, some cold cuts are served to him by a griffin. It doesn't surprise any other 1st Lieutenants that Golden Lance begins complaining about the food choices. It takes a well-respected Captain from the front car to shut him up. The Captain reminds us of his rank and place. Golden Lance sinks in his seat, pouting like the spoiled brat he is. For the rest of the trip, Golden Lance doesn't pull any more stunts and remains quiet. The glorious silence continues when the train pulls into the makeshift train station outside the arena. Anon notices the many greenish-gray canvas tents on both sides of the track. The conductor opens the door to the car as everyone stands up to stretch and grab their gear.

"Mares and gentlecolts, please remain until your commanding officer comes on board to give you further instructions," the conductor announces.

Everyone sits back down and waits for the officer to board the train. After a few moments, Anon sees the Captains disembarking and walking to a table on the platform. Then, a large unicorn stallion wearing Royal Guard armor boards the train.

"Alright, everypony, listen up. I'm Commander Iron Grate, the officer in charge of the COBA. I'm going only to say this once, so pay attention. You will disembark with all your gear and walk over to that desk. Sergeant Fanny Pack will give you an itinerary for this week. Then, a private will escort you to the designated tents for you and your battalions. Everypony, got that?"

"Sir, yes, sir!" the guards reply in unison.

"Good! You have one minute to get your gear and get off! Now, move it!"

Everyone grabs their gear, disembarks, and goes to the table. Anon is last in line since he has more stuff and sits in the back. It doesn't take long before it's his turn. He steps forward when Sergeant Fanny Pack, a female unicorn, motions for him to come.

"Please state your name, rank, and unit," she asks flatly.

"Anonymous. 1st Lieutenant. 25th Aurora Battalion," Anon answers.

Fanny Pack uses her magic to pick up her pen. She writes something down before handing Anon a couple of pieces of paper. Then, she waves over an eager-looking royal guard. Fanny Pack points out a location on a map on the table and orders him to take Anon there. The royal guard nods his head and starts walking. Anon begins following him. They walk for a short distance before the guard slows so that he can walk beside Anon.

"I'm Private Arrow Shaft, by the way, sir," Anon's escort introduces.

"I'm 1st Lieutenant Anonymous," Anon answers.

Anon looks down at his escort. Arrow Shaft appears to be no older than 18. His face is covered in freckles, which doesn't help his boyish appearance. What makes him stand out even more are his thick Coke bottle glasses. He looks familiar to someone Anon has met before, and his chiseled chin and pale-blue eyes are a telltale sign.

"Are you related to General Spear Shaft, by any chance?" Anon asks.

"Yes, sir. He's my grandfather," Arrow Shaft replies.

"Keeping military service in the family, I see."

"It's been a huge family tradition for the stallions for seven generations."

"That's impressive."

"Grandpop is the first one in our family to become a commissioned officer. His rank shows how hard he's worked to get where he is."

"I take it your family isn't of noble descent."

"No, sir, we aren't."

"I figured as much."

"Dad and Grandpop are coming to the COBA and rooting for you, sir. We know how it feels to be looked down on by those stuffy nobles."

"I appreciate it."

A few minutes later, Arrow Shaft and Anon arrive at a large group of tents. A wooden sign on the ground has "25th Aurora Battalion" and the Royal Guard emblem beneath it. Anon's tent is front and center. It's the same as the standard five-pony tent, but a single cot and a large table with two candles are inside. On the cot are the standard padding, fitted sheet, and blanket. All of which are blue. Anon sets his duffle bag, shield, and backpack beside the entrance.

"If you look at your itinerary, the orientation meeting is at 1400 hours at the main conference room to the arena, sir," Arrow Shaft says.

"Where's the conference room?"

"Go to the gate to the arena. Once you get in, take a right down the hallway and go six doors down. Then, take a left down another hallway to a staircase. Go to the third floor. The door across from the staircase is the conference room."

"Okay, thank you."

"You're welcome, sir. Anything else?"

"Do you know when the rest of the 25th will get here? I want to talk to them before tomorrow."

"They should all be here by 1600 hours like everypony else participating."

"Gotcha. Thanks for everything. When you see General Spear Shaft, tell him I appreciate his support."

"I'll tell him when I see him, sir."

Arrow Shaft turns around and leaves the tent to return to Sergeant Fanny Pack. Anon sits down at the table to read the itinerary.

At the orientation time slot, there is a little note underneath it. The note says that the dress code is casual. Anon sighs a little because he doesn't have to drag all of his armor out. Next, he looks at what's to come over the next few days.

The Solar Guards will go first at every event. Each event starts at 0900 hours. The Royal Guards go second, but all of their events start at 1300 hours but can start as late as 1500 hours. As expected, the Lunar Guards will go last. The earliest event for them starts at 2000 hours. The latest is at 2200 hours.

It makes sense why the Lunar Guards will go last and at night because evening and night combat is their specialty. However, there is an unspoken reason. No one will want to stay up that late to watch the Lunar Guards, except for the families whose relatives are in the branch. There is a blatant disregard for their service due to the racism towards the thestrals and disrespect towards Princess Luna due to her transformation to Nightmare Moon and rebellion. Anon doesn't understand why Celestia doesn't even try to do anything to change that. Every time he brings it up to her, she changes the subject. Despite all of this, Anon plans to attempt to give the Lunar Guards the respect they deserve.

Anon sits in the conference room with every other officer participating in the COBA. He's reading the Daring Do book he was reading a few days ago. In the part of the book, the titular explorer is speaking to the Equestrian version of the bedouins about the ancient temple where the Al-Kaaba Compass is rumored to be located. The book is getting interesting when the conference room door slams open, and Commander Iron Grate walks in with two Captains behind him. All of the participating officers stood at attention and saluted.

"As you were!" Iron Gate bellows.

Everyone sits down in their seats.

"Welcome everypony to the Orientation Meeting of the Commissioned Officer's Battlefield Assessment. You have been carefully selected to display your and your unit's strengths and capabilities on the battlefield. As you know, I am Commander Iron Grate, and Princess Celestia has selected me to coordinate the COBA this year. To my left is Captain Sunset Thunder, and to my right is Captain Twinkle Majesty. I selected these two to assist me this week."

Iron Grate talks about how the events work. He gives a very simplified explanation of each event. Iron Grate is trying to speed up the orientation. However, the explanations regarding the arena and the magic involved in the COBA are extensive.

After each match, magicians change the terrain to show that the officers and their troops can adapt to different situations and terrains. The arena is around 2 kilometers by 2 kilometers, so doing a terrain change spell for even the most powerful magic users will be difficult. Then, Iron Grate talks about the weapons used during the COBA. Each one is enchanted with an advanced and complicated "smart spell." The newest addition to the COBA is one rest day between event days so that the guards can get the rest they need to perform to the best of their abilities for the next event, and that fire magic is banned.

What the spell does is if a target is hit by the enchanted weapon three times, it teleports the target and everything on them to where a runic device is located. The spell reminds Anon of the Flying Raijin Jutsu from watching a popular anime from his childhood, Naruto: Shippuden, with a few noticeable differences. If the enchanted weapon contacts another weapon with the same enchantment, the spell will cancel out, and the teleporting effect will not work, almost like pushing two positive sides of a magnet together.

Iron Grate continues talking about how injuries obtained during each match will be treated at the end of each match. If you are "killed," you will be sent to the "Elminated" section, where any injuries will be treated. Lastly, he asked his audience if they had any questions. A few officers looked around the room to see if anyone would be annoying enough to ask a question. Even one of the Captains, a unicorn female, used her magic to pick up her pen so she could throw it at anyone who asked a question. Anon didn't blame her. A 1st Lieutenant from Neigh York sitting next to Anon starts to raise his hoof.

"Raise that hoof any higher, and I'll fucking kill you in your sleep," Anon threatens quietly.

The guard lowers his hoof as he gulps.

"No questions? Good. You may head back to your tents. Be at the arena for the opening ceremony rehearsal at 0800 hours," Commander Iron Grate says.

Everyone stands up and makes their way to their tents. When Anon gets to his tent, 2nd Lieutenant Red Sun stands before it. She salutes Anon as he approaches. He salutes her back and motions for her to follow him into the tent. Anon lies on his bed while Red Sun sits on the chair.

"How was the ride down here?" Anon asks.

"It was boring as Hell," she responds.

"Have you tried taking a nap on the train to pass the time?"

"Been there and done that, sir. No dice."

"Okay. How many of the 25th is here?"

"All are present and accounted for, sir."

Anon sits up with a confused expression.

"Everyone?"

"Yes, sir. The last one to arrive got here about ten minutes ago."

"Great. Please message the unicorn 2nd Lieutenants and unicorn NCOs that I want to speak with everyone later tonight. Say around 2000 hours."

"Yes, sir. Anything else?"

"Chow is at 1800 hours. I think they are doing like a buffet line or some shit. It's all Commander Iron Grate's idea."

"Oh, him. I never met him, but Captain Tempest Shadow says he isn't a stickler for procedure."

"I saw that today. He rushed through the events."

"That sounds like him. So, we'll see each other at 2000 hours, sir?

"Yep, I want everyone there."

"Yes, sir."

Red Sun leaves the tent as a red aura surrounds her horn. Then, Anon sits down at his desk. He continues to work on battle plans and reads on tactics. An hour before dinner, Anon calls a meeting with all his second lieutenants and N.C.Os. to discuss the adjustments. The meeting concludes just as some Royal Guard from Commander Iron Grate's brigade, the 9th Sunspot Brigade, sit up a buffet line.

A chef's salad, hay lasagna, and garlic bread are served for the ponies. Anon gets meat-lovers with the salad and bread. A griffin chef delivers it. Anon and the guards he is eating with notice something off with the chef. He seemed nervous and was sweaty. He didn't even speak to Anon. When the chef leaves, Red Sun calls for a medic who knows a spell that can detect chemicals and poisons in pretty much everything.

The medic, Corporal Gauze Bandage, casts a spell on Anon's food and everyone else's food. The tent is silent for a few moments until the medic cocks her eyebrow as she looks at her commander officers.

"Everything but the lasagna on 1st Lieutenant Anonymous's plate is clean," Corporal Bandage announces.

"What's in it?" Anon asks.

"Arsenic."

"That griffin bastard was trying to poison 1st Lieutenant Anonymous!" 2nd Lieutenant Denium Jacket explained.

"I don't think he was trying to. Chef George is one of Princess Celestia's chefs. Those guys are vetted extensively before they are hired. Besides, I know him. He cooks all the meals containing meat for me and the thestrals. I think he had been put up to this," Anon says.

"That makes sense as to why he seemed nervous. A true assassin wouldn't be sweating that much," Denium Jacket replied.

"1st Lieutenant Anonymous, I request permission to question that chef," Red Sun asks.

"Permission denied. You can take Corporal Bandage, Shooting Star, and Wooden Frame to report the poisoned food to Commander Grate. Take the food with you as proof," Anon ordered, "You can finish eating before you go."

"Yes, sir. Anything else?"

"Nope. That's it."

"I just hope we can find the pony who tried to kill you," 2nd Lieutenant Ocean Dawn says."

"With all due respect, ma'am, but you'd be wrong there," Gauze Bandage announces.

"Oh, how?"

"Well, there is arsenic in things we eat, like rice and mushrooms. In small amounts, it can improve our appearance and help cure anemia. For humans, I don't know how it could be used. Basically, in the right amounts, it won't make you sick. However, the amount in 1st Lieutenant Anonymous's lasagna is not enough to kill him, but enough to make him very sick. Taking in his size and weight, he would have had symptoms within an hour. To fully recover, it would take weeks."

"So, whoever tried poisoning him was trying to put him out of commission. Therefore, we would have to forfeit," Red Sun says.

"I will assume that a noblepony or ponies is behind this. Almost two-thirds of the COs here are from nobility," Anon adds.

"You should take this as a compliment, sir," Shooting Star announces.

"Elobrate?" Anon asks.

"This means that somepony believes that we threaten their child's success. We are that good to make a noblepony nervous."

"That may be true, but we can't get cocky. The guys we are going against were recommended and chosen for a good fucking reason."

"Yes, sir."

The officers finish up their meals and then head back to their tents. Shooting Star, Wood Frame, and Gauze Bandage report the poisoned food to Commander Grate.

Anon writes in his journal about the day's events. After that, he prepares his speech for the 25th. Anon spends the next half-hour going over what he wants to say. At first, he goes for a more powerful motivational speech. He changes his mind and decides on an honest, more straightforward approach. The last thing he wants to do is make his troops overconfident. Eventually, he finishes up and goes to where the 25th is waiting. Nearby are a few other officers from other branches and Princess Luna. Red Sun informs him that everyone is there. Anon nods once and sits down on a nearby boulder. He waits for everyone to quiet down before he starts speaking.

"Good evening, everyone. I just wanted to give you a pep talk before the COBA starts. I'm going to be honest with you when I say this. This is probably one of the most extensive tests of our career as Royal Guards. Some may know the nobles recommended us because they wanted us to look bad for being the underdogs. It's a sick way to help their kids advance their military careers. However, we have a good chance of getting some wins here. We've got the skill, heart, and support of other underdogs like ourselves. Many of these noblepony families think we aren't going to put up much of a fight despite our past achievements, but let's make it clear we aren't letting that happen. Let's show them that these next few days won't be a cakewalk. They'll have to take the victory from us if they want it. That goes for us as well. It will be good on good battles. We are going to give it all we got. If we go down, we go down swinging. Let's make a statement that we aren't just some underdogs. We are THE underdogs. Do you understand?"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

"Are you worthy of victory?!"

"Axios!"

"Are you worthy of the name 'underdogs'?!!"

"AXIOS!!"

"Good. Get some rest over the next few days. You will need it. I have faith in everyone here, and whatever the outcome, I'm honored to lead you into battle. You are dismissed."

Everyone stands up and returns to their tents. A lot of them thank Anon for the speech as they walk by. The last pony to approach him is Princess Luna. Instead of her royal regalia, she is wearing her royal armor.

Her armor is far different from the Lunar Guards. The armor is jet black with her cutie mark painted on the front of her breastplate. It isn't as bulky as Lunar Guard armor. Instead, it is sleeker and appears to be more aerodynamic. Her helmet is sleeker, as well. Underneath her is black synthetic leather that links the armor plates together. Luna's sword isn't much different from everyone else's, except the blade is longer, and the guard has pegasus wings.

"That was an excellent speech, friend Anonymous. It was very motivational," Luna says.

"Thank you, I appreciate it. Nice armor, by the way," Anon replies.

"Thank you. Father commissioned it for me when I became his age to take his place on the battlefield."

"I don't think I've seen you wear your armor since I've been here."

"I have not worn it in 1,500 years."

"1,500 years?! How is it not rusted out or at least tarnished?! Hell, the leather hasn't even rotted out!"

"My sister had it maintained during my banishment to the moon. I am very grateful that she cared for my equipment even during the darkest period of my life."

"You are lucky to have a family that loves you that much. Not all of us are that lucky."

"If only some of the population would have the same sentiments. I still fear that Nightmare Moon has caused permanent damage to my reputation."

"I wish I could help, but there's nothing much I can do. The nobles have a lot of influence on the people, and they hate me. Your sister can't tell them to respect you because that's authoritarian. Maybe something will come up that will help your public image and win the people over."

"Perhaps."

"Hey, it's been good seeing you, but I need to sleep. I've got a long day tomorrow."

"Likewise, friend Anonymous. My sister and I look forward to seeing your leadership on the battlefield."

"I'll do my best to give you two a show."

Anon turns around and returns to his tent for a good night's rest.

The opening ceremony of the Commissioned Officer's Battlefield Assessment has finally arrived. The stands are filled with ponies. The cheers remind Anon of a packed football (American football) stadium at the state championships. He and the rest of the Royal, Solar, and Lunar Guards form company fronts in a tunnel underneath the stands.

Commander Iron Grate stands at the front. His three captains line up behind him. The Captain in the center carries the Equestrian flag. Anon is standing in the third row and fourth in line. He isn't given the honor of carrying the Royal Guard flag because he is too tall.

Each guard waits patiently to be called to attention. The cue is the Canterlot Orchestra and Choir playing the song When the Guards Come Marching Home. For now, they talk amongst each other. Anon doesn't say anything. He thinks about the other night when he was nearly poisoned.

Commander Iron Grate had George questioned by some of the officers. It turns out that some of the nobles blackmailed him into putting arsenic in Anon's food to make him sick. Since the attempted poisoning was done undress, George wasn't arrested. After that, Commander Grate took the information to Princess Celestia. She ordered a secret investigation. So far, Anon hasn't heard anything from the investigators or the Princesses. He adjusts his armor slightly as he sees a Royal Guard Corporal waving at Iron Grate from the mouth of the tunnel. The Commander nods his head once and turns around to face everyone.

"Attention!" he bellows.

Everyone snaps to attention. All four flags stand straight up. Anon signs heavily as the order to march forward is given. Then, the multitude of snare drums performing a militaristic drum cadance fills the stadium. The guards march out of the tunnel as the orchestra plays and the choir sings.

As for the song, the lyrics go a little this:

To the tune of When Johnny Comes Marching Home

When the guards come marching home again

Hurrah! Hurrah!

We'll give them a singing welcome, then

Hurrah! Hurrah!

The mares will scream, and the foals will shout

Hurrah! Hurrah!

The old ponies, too, will all turn out

And they'll all be happy

When the guards come marching home

Well, a ball can be had when the guards come marching home.

By this time, the guards had marched almost before all four princesses and Prince Shining Armor. They are sitting in a private room inside the press box on the far right. The appearance of Princess Cadance and Shining Armor was a last-minute surprise. Anon guesses it was for old-time's sake since Shining Armor made a name for himself at the COBA when he was just a mere 2nd Lieutenant. When the guards pass in front of the Royal Family, Commander Grate barks "face right." Each of the guards sharply turns their head to the right. They raise their right hoof, or in Anon's case, arm and salute their leaders. Celestia, Luna, and Shining Armor salute back. The guards march forward behind a small podium close to the stands and at the center of the field. Commander Grate orders the troops to halt and do the right face. When they stop, the song reaches its final verse.

Let all the mares on that day

Hurrah! Hurrah!

Put all their beauties on display.

Hurrah! Hurrah!

And let each one sing a serenade

to relieve the soldier's heart

And they'll rejoice

When the guards come marching home

Well, a ball will be had when the guards come marching home.

The song ends as thunderous applause and cheers fill the arena. Commander Grate walks up to the podium. He waits for the noise to die down before speaking. It takes longer than he wants because he starts and looks up at Princess Celestia because he doesn't know what to do. Finally, he speaks to quiet the crowd.

"Good afternoon, mares and gentlecolts. My name is Commander Iron Grate of the Royal Guard. I am honored and pleased to welcome you to this year's Commissioned Officer's Battlefield Assessment. Behind me are 108 officers who were selected to show you their skills in combat prowess and leadership on the battlefield. Over the past two and half months, they have trained themselves and their troops to compete against one another in a contest of champions. For those who aren't familiar with the COBA..."

Right about then, Anon starts tuning out. He had heard the explanation so often that he could recite the official definition by heart. He starts scanning the crowd to see who is there. Of course, the Royal Family is here. Many nobles, including Fancy Pants and his wife, Fleur de Lis, sit just below the press box. What interests Anon is three of the nobles are talking to each other. They seem shocked about something. They look directly at Anon. He concludes that they know something or had something to do with the attempted poisoning—he memorizes what they look like before moving on. Closer to the first row is all of the Elements.

Applejack is with her entire family. Pinkie is wearing homemade Royal Guard armor made from cardboard, and her face is painted green with a black question mark going down the middle. What surprises him the most is that Rainbow Dash is here. Anon hasn't seen her since she pushed him out a window after the Hearth's Warming Tree Lighting Festival. He had heard that she had become a Wonderbolt. During his deployment, Anon met Captain Spitfire, the commanding officer of the Wonderbolts. She said that Rainbow Dash was very cocky and arrogant at first but started learning to be more humble. Of course, Rarity wears fancy clothing as if she were a noble or every royalty. Spike is sitting next to her, eating a bag of popcorn. Fluttershy is sitting with Starlight Glimmer in the front row. She gently waves at Anon, but he doesn't move at all.

Then, Anon tunes in when Commander Grate says something that Anon wishes he hadn't said.

"Not only is this the 500th COBA, but this is the first one where a non-pony officer was selected to participate! Please give applause to 1st Lieutenant Anonymous of the Royal Guards!"

There is polite applause, but Pinkie takes it a step further.

"LET'S GO, NONIE!!! WHOO-HOO!!!" she screams as she jumps up and down.

Anon groans as he closes his eyes out of embarrassment. Some of the guards chuckle.

"Fucking damn it, Pinkie. Please, fucking stop," Anon whispers.

Pinkie keeps on cheering even after the applause stops. Starlight uses her magic to cast a spell where Pinkie loses her voice temporarily. This gets her to stop and sit back down.

"Uh...thank you. As we close the ceremony, let me ask these brave officers their creed," Commander Grate says.

He turns to the officers. He takes a big breath before speaking.

"What is your creed?!" he bellows.

"In service to Princess Celestia, Princess of the Sun, and Princess Luna, Princess of the Moon, I pledge my heart and hooves to defend our beloved nation! I am a guard in the Equestrian Armed Forces, bound by honor and duty! In the light of Princess Celestia's wisdom and Princess Luna's guidance, I strive to embody the virtues of courage, boldness, and selflessness! My fellow guards and I are in one mind, body, and spirit! We stand ready to give our lives in defense of all of Ponykind! With the might of our courageousness and the resistance of unity, we charge into the fray, prepared to die for our home! In times of peace, we will remain vigilant! In times of war, we charge forth into battle, for Equestria's defense is our mission. This is our creed!" the guards recite in unison.

"Are you worthy of this creed?!!"

"AXIOS!!!"

Commander Grate turns around to face the crowd. Another round of applause and cheers fills the stadium. Again, a lot of it comes from Pinkie. The previous spell had worn off. Starlight uses her magic again, but this time, she surrounds Pinkie in a magical bubble to mute her. Anon sighs a sigh of relief. He can almost hear most guards, and the audience does the same thing.

Then, Commander Grate orders the officers to do a "right face" and march. He follows them in the same fashion. They march until they are back into the tunnel. Commander Grate permitted the officers to break formation, return to their tents, or meet with their parents. Anon returns to his tent to be alone for some quiet.

When he gets back, he takes off his armor and his tunic. He puts them on the armor stand before lying down for a nap. There is a flash of yellow light before he can even get over to his cot.

"It would seem you are trying to avoid me, or am I just imagining things?" a warm, motherly voice asks.

Anon turned around and saw Princess Celestia standing at the entrance to his tent. He lets out a panicked shout as he reaches for his tunic to try and cover himself.

"Fucking hell, Tia! Don't any of you ponies have the slightest concept of privacy?" Anon growls through gritted teeth.

"Why are you in your underwear?" Celestia asks as she attempts to maintain eye contact with Anon.

"I was going to take a nap, but you scared me shitless, so there goes that idea."

He quickly slips on his tunic and sits down at his desk. Celestia closes the tent's entrance flap. She sits on Anon's cot. She then casts a privacy spell around them so no one could disturb them.

"I have some news about the investigation," she says.

"Oh?"

"My and Luna's guards interrogated George and found that five nobles conspired to poison you. Three have children participating in the COBA as 1st Lieutenant Royal Guards. They have narrowed down who they might be, but there isn't a 100% certainty."

"I have some info that might help. Three nobles talked to each other during the ceremony, and they seemed surprised to see me there. One was a black Earth pony, another was a yellow pegasus, and the last was a red pegasus. The yellow one is a male."

There is a look of recognition that passes across Princess Celestia's face. It is quickly replaced with a severe look. Non has only seen this one very few times in the time he's known her. It creeps him out enough to where he avoids her gaze. If looks could kill, that one would send him to the most bottomless pit of hell.

"Are you sure, Anonymous?" Celestia asks.

"Damn sure," he replies.

Anon sits with his guards in the stands of the arena. They watch the Solar Guards Captains fight each other in the battle royale event, along with thousands of other spectators. There are seven left out of the original twelve. This arena's terrain for this match is a jungle that looks to be straight from Vietnam. The Solar Guards 2nd Lieutenants fought in a desert, while the 1st Lieutenants fought in a tundra.

Right now, one of the duels is being broadcast magically onto massive jumbotrons that face the stands. It's a fight between a unicorn and an Earth pony. Cheers fill the stadium as the Earth pony beats back the unicorn by using powerful sword strikes and kicks. The unicorn tries using magic blasts, shields, sword parries, and speed to defend himself, but it is no use. The final blow from his opponent's sword causes him to disappear with a poof of pink smoke. Cheers and laughs erupt as the guard waves his weapon in the air. Anon claps but stops when he hears the familiar plinking of bits behind him. He turns and sees one of his guards handing another a few golden coins.

"Ball! Mug! What the fuck are you doing?" Anon asks.

The two guards look at him with shock on their faces.

"Just doing some betting, sir," Private Ball, a female pegasus, replies.

"You know that gambling of ANY kind is against Royal Guard Code. Don't let me catch you two dumbasses again. Clear?"

"Crystal clear, sir."

That was the fourth time Anon was bothered by someone in this match. Anon turns around to watch as another fight is projected onto the jumbotron. Then, a few minutes later, someone taps him on the shoulder.

"Do you people fucking mind?" he shouts as he turns around.

He comes face-to-face with a Royal Guard Sergeant Major. Anon relaxes his gaze a little.

"1st Lieutenant Anonymous, His Highness, Prince Shining Armor, requests your presence," the guard says.

"Oh, okay. Lead the way, Sergeant Major."

Anon follows the guard to the press box and into the private room, where the Royal Family watches the match. When Anon opens the door, they turn and look at him. Shining Armor smiles the biggest smile when he sees his human friend.

"Anon! What's up, buddy?!" he shouts.

"Good to see you, too," Anon says.

"Here. Have a seat."

The two share a hoofbump. Anon takes off his helmet and sits between Shining Armor and Princess Luna. A butler offers him water to drink, along with some cheese and fruit. Of course, Anon obliges in the refreshments. He sits there in silence as he watches the match continue. The match has reached a point where the guards would rather hide than hunt each other down. That is until the magic barrier pushes them together, and they are forced to fight each other.

"What do you think of these Solar Guards so far," Shining Armor asks Anon.

"It's too early to give any realistic judgment since this is only the battle royale stage. Also, I'd judge them through Royal Guard standards, not by their standards."

"Fair enough. How do you feel about your upcoming match?"

"If I'm being honest, I'm nervous. I've got a lot to prove today, and if I fuck it up here, I fuck up not my reputation but the 25th's, as well."

"Tell me about your unit."

"When I was assigned to them a little over three years ago, they were a bunch of outcasts. None of them are of noble blood or even from wealthy families. They were the bottom of the barrel. No one seemed to give a damn that they were essentially forgotten. I had my work cut out for me, but I, along with 2nd Lieutenant Red Sun and Sergeant Flash Sentry, made them into something. They want the chance to prove that they aren't a bunch of misfit nobodies but a battalion of misfit Royal Guards capable and worthy of fighting by Princess Celestia's side. Today, I must prove that I can lead them into battle."

"I didn't know Sentry was in your unit."

"He's a good soldier. I'm proud to have him in my chain of command. It's damn time that he gets a promotion."

"I'm sure the time will come."

Anon and Shining Armor make small talk until the end of the match. The Earth pony from before won. Anon is happy for the guard since it's usually a unicorn or a pegasus who wins these matches. Then, he stands up and slips on his helmet.

"Where pray tell are you going?" Princess Luna asks.

"I have to be in the waiting room before the match before ours starts," Anon responds.

He leaves the press box. After picking up his spear and shield from Red Sun, his guards wish him luck. They cheer as he leaves, causing other spectators to cheer.

Anon walks to the waiting room where seven others are waiting. Over the next ten minutes, the rest of them arrive. It doesn't surprise anyone that Golden Lance is fashionably late. As he struts in like a peacock searching for a mate, Anon starts mocking him by making chicken noises. Everyone laughs at Golden Lance. When Golden sits down in the back, embarrassed, he points his spear at Anon. Anon ignores the pompous unicorn as he prays the Soldier's Prayer softly. He prays this prayer three more times, hoping his faith will help in battle and ease his nerves. Golden Lance notices this and takes the opportunity to belittle Anon.

"Look, everypony. The green Ape is afraid. He's so afraid that he has to pray to whatever god it believes in," he taunts.

"Shut the fuck up, asshole! Let him pray if he wants!" one of the guards shouts.

"Your faith won't save you, Ape! It's worthless! Just like you and your pathetic little band of rejects who have no place in the -"

His shouting is cut off when Anon turns around. His sword is pointed at the unicorn. A glare that is full of fury. It causes everyone's blood in the room to run cold. They had never seen Anon this angry before. Golden tries to keep a brave face, but it's not used.

"Cállante, tu gilipollas hijo de puta," Anon says. (Shut up, you asshole son of a bitch.)

He sheathes his sword and turns back around.

About an hour later, Iron Grate walks in a wizard named Sunburst, the supposed successor of Star Swirl the Bearded. The two stallions walk to the front of the room. All the guards stand up and salute. This startles the wizard.

"I'm still not used to that, Commander," Sunburst says quietly.

"Get over it, wizard," Iron Grate grumbles, "At ease, ladies! Alright, listen up! This is Sunburst, the Imperial Wizard of the Crystal Empire. He is the chief wizard over all the other wizards and mages that do the magic bullshit during the COBA. Now, before we get started, there are a few extra things I want to go over. Before you enter the port, I will give you an arena map. These are fresh and brand new, so you are welcome. Any questions?"

"Commander, I'm confused. How do you create a map of a place that just has been changed?" one of the officers asked.

"It's sophisticated magic. You cast a spell to scan a certain area, and you can transfer that data to an enchanted piece of paper," Sunburst replies.

"Any more bullshit questions?" Iron Grate asks.

No one says a word.

"Good. Who wants to be teleported first?"

Anon steps forward. On his face is the famous blank stare he was known for. He lets Sunburst enchant his weapons. Then, Anon pulls his KA-BAR knife from a sheath in his shield near his arm straps.

"Hey, enchant this, as well. There's nothing in the rules that says that I can't use a personal weapon during the COBA," Anon says.

Sunburst looks confused and turns his head to Iron Grate. The Commander nods his head, so the wizard enchants the knife. Then, Anon is given a map. He points to the map where he wants to be teleported. Sunburst creates a portal as Anon rolls his shoulders and his neck. Then, he walks through the large portal. Anon finds himself standing on top of a large hill. He chose to be teleported to the top of a hill to get a decent vantage point and study the arena.

At the base of the hill to the north, a river runs down the center and the length of the arena. A forest to the west covers at least a third of the arena—the rest is a chaparral. To Anon, the arena looks a lot like Greece. He chuckles to himself as he realizes this.

Then, fireworks shoot across the sky to start the match. Cheers fill the arena. In five minutes, the magical barrier will close in. Anon jogs down the hill toward the river. Anon plans to make his way toward the center as quickly as possible to ambush anyone doing the same thing along the way, anyone already at the center or just arriving there. He travels along the river because he knows someone will eventually need water to quench his thirst during the match.

At first, there isn't any action to speak of. There are a couple of duels. Most of them are guards going after Golden Lance and getting themselves eliminated. By the first barrier close-in, Golden eliminated three guards alone. Anon is a little annoyed at the lack of action. He had hoped that at least one pony would want to fight. Then, Anon reminds himself that taking on the enemy requires patience and that he's the hunter, not the hunted.

He follows the river, keeping to the bushes and waiting for the right time and opponent. Finally, he gets his moment after the third barrier close-in.

Anon is sitting in a grove of trees when he hears some fighting sounds. He tightens his grip around his spear as he turns around. He spots a pair of guards, a pegasus, and a unicorn fighting about 50 yards away. The temptation to third-party the fight grows, but Anon resists. He decides to keep sneaking up on them and fight the winner. Eventually, the fight finishes with the unicorn winning. He's bloody, bruised, and tired, which gives Anon the advantage. So, he rushes at the guard from his hiding spot. His shield is raised along with his spear.

"Holy shit!" the unicorn screams.

He fires three magic blasts that only glance off Anon's shield. When Anon gets close, he thrusts his spear at this opponent. He misses, and the unicorn uses his magic to pull him forward so he can attack Anon's exposed side. However, Anon swings his shield outward and slams it into the unicorn. The blow sends him flying a few feet. As the unicorn lays on the ground, trying to regain his breath, Anon charges forward. He hits his opponent once in the chest, but when he trusts again, the unicorn turns and bucks as hard as he can. Anon's armor reduces some force but cannot keep him on his feet. He falls to one knew as he tries not to throw up from the blow.

"Ouch," Anon gasps.

"If it helps, dude, I was aiming for your chest," the unicorn groans.

"Not one bit."

Anon and the unicorn face off again. This time, the other guard attacks first. He uses a flurry of magic and sword attacks to catch Anon off guard. It's no use because Anon dodges or blocks each blow. The unicorn's attacks slow as he uses his magic reserves and energy. Anon dodges the next sword swipe and maneuvers himself to the unicorn's exposed side. He thrusts his spear and hits the unicorn in the side. Then, he spartan kicks as hard as he can, causing the unicorn to yelp out of pain and collapse. Then, Anon jabs his opponent one final time. The unicorn disappears. Cheers fill the arena as Anon goes to hide and rest.

After checking for any significant injuries, Anon goes on the move again. His next target is an Earth pony mare. Anon uses his ambush tactic, which works again. At the end of the fight, she tries to retreat, but Anon hurls his spear and eliminates her. More cheers erupt. Only Anon, a guard from Dodge Junction, and Golden Lance are left. The barrier forces the remaining guards outside the town. Golden Lance and the other guard fight while Anon rests behind a house to devise a plan.

Golden Lance is a skilled and intelligent fighter. He knows how to fight and beat almost every creature in Equestria. Not only that, but his magical talent, magic reserves, strength, and speed are extraordinary for a unicorn. Some say his abilities rival Shining Armor's. There isn't any point in ambushing him, so the best option is to face him directly. Anon waits for the spectators' cheers that signal the end of the fight. After a few moments, the anticipated cheers come. Anon stands up and prays one more time.

"Ape, if you are still out there, it's your turn for elimination!" Golden Lance shouts.

Anon knows the bravado is all an act for the crowd. He knows that Golden is terrified. The facade annoys Anon. He walks out from behind the house.

"Hey, you know the saying, 'Ask and you shall receive'?" Anon asks, "Well, here I am."

"It's about time, you cowardly ape!" Golden Lance taunts.

"C'mon, Golden, quit acting so tough. The crowd and the dumbass nobles might buy it, but I don't. I saw the way you trembled like a little filly earlier. Admit it, I intimidate you."

"A-afraid. Ha, you w-wish that were t-true."

"Then, why don't you explain that stutter you got going on there."

"Enough t-talk, A-ape! Let's f-finish this!"

"As you wish, my liege. Let's make this interesting."

Anon tosses his spear aside, much to the surprise of Golden Lance and the spectators, and draws his sword. Golden does the same.

He has heard from some of his guards that Anon is an exceptional sword fighter. He uses a combination of brute strength and speed. Also, his large shield gives him a defensive and offensive advantage. Not to mention that Anon is a brilliant tactician in hoof-to-hoof combat. He is also known to fight dirty rather than fair. He is more than a match for Golden.

The two circle each other, waiting for the other to attack first. They continue this charade until the two rush at each other. They exchange blows- swords clanging and grunting echoes off the buildings' walls. Their fears and nervousness disappear as they focus on their opponent's movements. Anon soon gains the upper hand when he shoulder charges Golden with his shield. The blow stuns Golden, which allows Anon to land a strike. Before Anon can land another strike, Golden uses a shockwave spell to push him back.

Golden changes his strategy because mere swordplay doesn't work against Anon. He decides to incorporate his magic ability since he has some left.

When Anon attacks again, Golden dodges the blow and uses magic to pull Anon off his feet. He lands on his back but rolls out of the way as Golden slams his sword down. Anon thursts his sword at Golden's chestplate as he tries to strike again. Only one more hit before he is eliminated. Golden screams in rage as he uses magic to pick up Anon and slam him on the ground hard. Anon drops his sword in the process. He does this two more times. Then, he pulls Anon towards him. Golden slices Anon across his left thigh. He drops him again, then jabs him through the bicep. Anon is in too much pain to cry out. Golden uses his magic again to throw Anon against a nearby building. Anon tries to get up, but he can't. It takes everything in his power to breathe.

In the private box, Princess Celestia is panicking. Seeing Anon beaten to a bloody pulp is agonizing. She knows that the COBA is brutal, but this was too much to bear. Tears fall down her face as she watches Anon struggle to use his shield to prop himself up.

"Anon, get up! Keep fighting, Anon!" Celestia cries.

"Tia, please, calm yourself," Luna says, trying to comfort her sister.

"Lulu, can't you see the man I love is in pain? I've got to stop this fight."

"Auntie, you know that you can't interfere. You wrote that rule yourself. If Anon is half the stallion you say he is, he won't give up," Cadance adds.

Celestia covered her eyes as Golden Lance approached Anon, his sword ready to strike. Anon painstakingly gets on his hands and knees while gasping in pain. He watches as Golden slinks up to him. A cocky grin is on Golden's face as he nears his all-but-beaten opponent.

"You think you are somepony worth something, but you aren't, you filthy Ape. You are worse than a thestral. It's time you learned your place, which is under my hoof. Any last words before I win?" Golden taunts.

"Go... fuck.... yourself," Anon groans.

He throws a handful of dirt and rocks in Golden's eyes. He cries out in shock. He tries blinking out the dirt, but it's no use as it turns to mud. Anon punches as hard as he can at Golden's nose and breaks it. He stumbles back as blood pours out of his nose. To finish off his opponent, Anon pulls his KA-BAR knife from its sheath in his shield. He jabs Golden in the neckguard, who disappears in a flash. Anon shakily stands up as cheers fill the arena. This time, it's louder than ever. They start chanting his name, as well. He tries holding up his knife above his head, but his ability to stand up straight fails. Due to the blood loss, Anon passes out.

The 25th Aurora Battalion, the Elements of Harmony, and Starlight Glimmer sit outside Anon's tent, awaiting news about his recovery. They haven't been updated in over four hours. The only one who knows anything is Princess Celestia. She is sitting at Anon's bedside. She keeps watch over Anon as a medic checks on him.

"How is he, Sergeant Major?" Celestia asks.

"He's stable, Your Highness. We gave him a healing potion earlier so that his body would heal fully at an increased rate. However, he'll experience some fatigue due to the speed of the healing process," the medic responds.

"Do you know how long it will be before he awakens?"

"To be honest with you, ma'am, I have no idea. We've never tested that potion on a human before. It could be in a few hours or tomorrow afternoon. Not to mention that the injuries he sustained will also affect the healing process."

"Okay. Thank you so much. You're dismissed."

The medic salutes Celestia and leaves the tent to update the ponies outside before attending to the other injured guards.

For the next few hours, Celestia watches over Anon. She reads a Daring Do book as she sits. Some of Anon's officers come to check on him. Most of them are surprised to see Celestia in Anon's tent. They leave almost immediately, which is okay with her because she wants as much alone time as possible with Anon. Eventually, she falls asleep with her head on Anon's lap.

Her current dream is of her and Anon having a picnic on a cloud overlooking Ponyville. For some reason, Anon is wearing a toga, exposing his overly toned chest. They stare deeply into each other's eyes while they feed each other. After they finish eating, Anon strokes Celestia's face as he leans in for a kiss. However, the dream ends when Anon is mere millimeters from her face. Her eyes flutter open. She sees Anon petting her mane as he looks down at her.

"You talk a lot in your sleep," Anon says softly, slightly grinning.

"You're awake. I'm glad," Celestia replies, "What time is it?"

"Uh... it's around 2000 hours. Holy fuck! I'm going to miss the Lunar Guard's battle royale matches!"

Anon tries to get up, but Celestia pushes him back down with her hoof.

"You need to rest, Anon."

"I need to be there, Tia. I told Luna that the 25th and I would be there."

"Don't worry. Red Sun is there with them, and LuLu appreciates their support for the Lunar Guard."

"Okay. I'm just making sure."

Celestia lays her head back down as Anon continues petting her name with his right hand and holds open a book with his left. They stay like this until Anon begins yawning.

"Hey, Tia. I need some shut-eye to prepare for the Conquest event the day after tomorrow," Anon says.

"Alright, then. Do you mind if I spend the night here?" Celestia responds.

"Are you sure about that? I'm not entirely sure that this cot will hold both of us, much less fit both of us."

"It will. It's designed to-- oh, never mind. I'll go sleep in the royal tent."

Celestia stands up to leave. She's a little irritated that Anon worries about the tiny details about a damned cot. However, Anon calls out to her.

"Tia, hold on. I want you to be comfortable," Anon explains.

"To Tartarus with being comfortable, Anon. I want to be with you, regardless of where or how comfortable we are," Celestia says.

Anon scoots as far as he can without falling off, pulls over the covers, and pats the spot next to him. Celestia crawls into the cot. She puts out the lantern with magic as Anon pulls the covers back over them. At first, they lie facing away from each other, not entirely sure of themselves and nervous. Anon decides to make the first move and end the awkwardness by turning over and wrapping his arms around Celestia's body. Both their hearts are racing, and their bodies are tense and rigid. They relax as time goes by. Celestia falls asleep first. Anon stays for a little longer. He nuzzles the nape of her neck and hugs her tighter.

"Good night, Tia. I...I... love you," he whispers.

Author's Notes:

I know, I know. I took forever to write this chapter. I started working full-time as a campus security guard for my university and attending school full-time. I know battle royales aren't the most popular type of combat (Thank you for that, Fortnite and PUBG), but I figured it would be an exciting addition to the COBA.

I've wanted to write Anon and Golden Lance having a duel for a long time, but I didn't have an excellent place to do it. I figured this would be the best option. Although this isn't the last time we'll see Golden Lance during the COBA

Also, here's a list of the 2nd Lieutenants underneath Anon's command.
Denim Jacket (male Earth pony)
Red Sun (female unicorn)
Shooting Star (male pegasus)
Wood Frame (male Earth pony)
Ocean Dawn (female unicorn)

I don't think I need to spoil the next chapter's title, but... I will anyway :)

The COBA (Commissioned Officers Battlefield Assessment) PART 2

ALSO, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

Edits made on 2/17/2024: Edited the descriptions of the conspirators

The COBA (Commissioned Officers' Battlefield Assessment) PART 2

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Chapter 16

It is the day of the Conquest Event. The time is 0800 hours, and Anon is in his tent with his officers. They are standing around drinking coffee and sitting at a foldable table in the middle of the tent. They are waiting for some files from Starlight Glimmer that Anon requested her to copy. The rest of the 25th, including the NCOs (Non-commissioned officers), are at the arena, watching the Solar Guards fight. Anon is sitting at his desk reading his Daring Do book. Every once in a while, he'll sip on his coffee. About fifteen minutes go by, and Starlight still hasn't shown up.

"Where's that student of Princess Twilight, sir?" Shooting Star asks.

"I have no clue. For a student under Twiggles, you would think punctuality would be something that she would like about you," Anon responds.

"Twiggles? That's a new one, sir. I could have sworn you called Princess Twilight 'Sparkle-butt' a few times," Denim Jacket says.

"Yeah, but don't go around a few saying that. I only called her that... affectionately."

"Affectionately, huh? Is there something going on between you and the Princess of Magic?" Wood Frame questions teasingly.

"Oh, hell no! I'd rather take my chances with Princess Luna. At least she's bearable to be around more than five minutes!"

"Sure, LT. Sure."

About five minutes later, there is a flash of cyan-colored magic. Starlight Glimmer is standing at the tent entrance. A manilla folder with some papers in it is enveloped in her magic.

"It's about time, Glimmer," Anon says.

"I'm sorry I'm late. I had an issue with making copies."

"Care to elaborate?" Ocean Dawn asks.

"I'm sure you know duplication spells are illegal despite being easy to learn. The copier broke, used a duplication spell, got busted by Twilight, and got a long lecture about the ethical use of magic. Are you happy?"

"That sounds like Sparkle-butt. Anyway, thanks for the copies," Anon says.

"You're welcome, Anon."

"It will. I owe you one."

"Sounds good. Good luck to everyone today."

"You're welcome, Anon."

"It will. I owe you one."

"Sounds good. Good luck to everyone today."

The officers thank Starlight as she sets the folder on the table and leaves the tent. Anon has Red Sun hand out the sheets of paper to everyone. Once she finishes, Anon stands up.

"To start this meeting, I want to say that a big part of my job is teaching you how to lead. Eventually, one day, you'll be promoted to 1st Lieutenant and lead battalions of your own. Today's lesson is about knowing your enemy. Not just knowing who they are but everything about them. Flash Magnus and a famous man named Sun Tzu, who was a philosopher, strategist, and general from my world, once wrote, 'Know the enemy and know yourself. In a hundred battles, you will never be in peril. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.'. I've already read the file on the guy we are facing today. I know everything about this guy, but I was hoping you could tell me what you find and pitch any ideas you have to win against him. Then, I'll tell you what I think. Don't worry about this being against the rules. I checked with Commander Grate, and he said it's okay. You have thirty minutes. Go."

The 2nd Lieutenants study the files. Anon sits down at his desk and waits. He's entertained by his subordinates' so-deep involvement in this assignment. Anon has never seen them this motivated. He believes their desire to prove themselves to be more than "noponies" drives them. Anon likes to teach and help his troops climb the ranks despite the apparent obstacles that stand in their way.

"So, tell me who we are facing in battle today," Anon says.

"It's 1st Lieutenant Soda Can. He leads the 15th Sunspot Battalion," Red Sun answers.

"It says here that he was about average at the Academy and boot camp. He did nothing really of note. His service record is pretty much blank," Ocean Dawn adds.

"Even his unit is nothing special. Sweet Celestia, I'm surprised these guys are even here. We make sen-- oh, wait. The 15th Sunspot is a throwaway unit," Denim Jacket says.

"Exactly. How do you propose we face Soda Can?" Anon asks.

"Since he and his unit are kind of shitty, I say we take it easy," Wood Frame suggests.

"I disagree, Wood. Just because they aren't that great doesn't mean we should half-ass it. It reflects poorly on us, our troops, and 1st Lieutenant Anonymous. We need to take this match seriously and give it our all. An easy win is still an easy win," Shooting Star replies.

"Red Sun, would you like to add anything?" Anon asks.

"We can't underestimate Soda Can. For all we know, he could be a master tactician but is waiting for the right moment to shine. It's better to overestimate than underestimate him and secure an easy victory," she answers.

"Those are mostly good answers. They mostly coincide with what I have in mind for today's event."

"And that is?" Denim Jacket asks, looking interested.

"Outright annihilation," Anon replies.

All of the 2nd Lieutenants look at each other, confused and concerned. Considering his careful approach to almost everything, they never expected to hear this from him.

"I think I speak for everyone when I say we don't know what you're talking about, sir," Red Sun says.

"We are facing an inferior enemy here. If we give it our all and play it smart, we will annihilate the enemy. Of course, not only with combat skills but with tactics and strategy. There is a reason I drill and train you guys every weekend. That's why I request we do War Games with other battalions every other month. I intend for us to be the best of the best. From the looks of it, Soda Can will likely fight defensively because he's likely heard of our improvements. As Shooting Star and Red Sun mentioned, we need to give this our all, and-"

Anon is interrupted by one of Commander Iron Grate's Sergeants walking into the tent.

"1st Lieutenant Anonymous?" she says.

"Yes?" Anon replies.

"I'm Sergeant Glow Stick. I have a message for you from Commander Grate."

"Okay, let's see it," Anon answers.

She puts the rolled-up scroll in Anon's outstretched hand and leaves the tent. Anon begins to read. His eyebrows narrow as he takes in the letter's contents. Anon sighs heavily as if one of the Princesses summoned him to an inconvenient meeting.

"There's been a change to the event. The amount of hits you can take before elimination is now one, not three," he announces.

"Are you fucking serious?" Wood Frame groans.

"It seems that they are trying to keep us on our hooves by adding last-minute changes," Red Sun says.

"Could be. So, this will change a few things, strategy-wise."

"Do you think Commander Grate was gracious enough to tell the Solar Guards before their matches?" Ocean Dawn asks.

Anon turns to look at the clock on his desk.

"Well, the 2nd Lieutenants just started, so more than likely."

"I can already tell this is going to be a long day," Shooting Star grumbles.

"That doesn't matter. We've got a job to do, and we need to improvise, adapt, and overcome any obstacles we face," Red Sun retorts sternly.

"Excellent point. Now, on to other matters. I'll devise a game plan before the match during that thirty-minute planning period. For now, we'll need to get some rest and prepare ourselves. When the time comes, head to where I gave my speech the other night. There, a magician will open a portal for us to the arena. Got it?" Anon says.

"Yes, sir," the 2nd Lieutenants respond.

"Good. Dismissed."

The 2nd Lieutenants get up and leave Anon's tent. He sits on his bed and looks at Soda Can's file again.

His subordinates didn't pick up on a few necessary things. One thing that they missed is Soda Can's grades on specific subjects in OCS. Strategy, Tactics, and Historical Battles were classes in which he scored highly. Everywhere else, especially in Leadership Skills, the grades were average. This shows that he applied himself in areas that HE thought mattered. This plays out well for Anon. It shows that Soda Can focuses only on the significant details rather than the smaller ones, which makes for a terrible leader. Anon sighs as he continues reading further.

Another thing in the file that the 2nd Lieutenants missed was a report filed by the commanding officer in Las Pegasus, Colonel Long Bow. It says that Soda Can doesn't care about his troops much and stays cooped up in his office all day. The report says that the guards in the 15th say he doesn't even bother getting to know them. Soda Can rarely drills or trains them. He doesn't even bother to inspect his troops during the day. The thing Anon truly has over Soda Can is that his troops trust and respect him.

It ticks Anon off that Soda Can tosses the importance of the trust and trust of his troops aside. Anon spent months earning his troops' trust. It took even longer to gain their respect. He owes Flash Sentry a lot for helping him with that. Soda Can's behavior reminds Anon of the stories of how Twilight used to be, except this one wears armor and carries a sword. The utter disregard for the trust and respect of one's troops is worse than what Golden Lance does because at least he pays attention to detail, and his troops respect him. It's he's a jerk to everyone because he comes from a wealthy family.

Anon sets the file down and walks over to his clock. He sets the files down before adjusting the alarm to two hours and thirty minutes; then, he lays down on his cot. A few minutes later, he falls asleep.

It's 1700 hours (5:00 pm) in the evening. Anon and the 25th Aurora Battalion are in formation, awaiting their turn in the arena. All the guards have shined their armor so it shines like the Sun. Earlier, a magician had enchanted their armor weapons. All of the Solar Guard and Royal Guard 2nd Lieutenants events have concluded. Currently, the third 1st Lieutenant Royal Guard match is finishing up.

Most guards are excited for the shot to prove themselves in battle. The rest, including Ocean Dawn, are nervous. As the most inexperienced officer, both in leadership and combat, in the 25th, the pressure makes her shake in her armor. She had barely graduated from the Royal Guard Academy six months ago when she was assigned to Anon's battalion. Ocean Dawn didn't meet Anon until he returned from his deployment. She's afraid of making a fool of herself in front of her troops, Anon, the Princesses, and her parents.

She refused to go to college and went to the Academy against her parents' will. Her parents have resented her and refused even to acknowledge she's their daughter ever since then. However, they came to watch her fight in the COBA. This makes her afraid.

Anon notices this as he paces in front of his troops. He stops deeply and squats down in front of her.

"Ocean Dawn, is everything okay?" she asks.

"Yes, sir. I'm okay," she replies nervously.

"I think you and I both know that's not true. What's going on?"

Ocean Dawn sighs deeply and then tells Anon about what's been bothering her. He listens intently as she talks. He notices a single tear rolling down her face. She blinks away, but it's useless as a few more fall. Anon puts down his spear, wipes the tears away, and places his hand on her shoulder. Anon offers a gentle smile to comfort Ocean Dawn.

"I know how you feel," he says.

"You do?"

"Unfortunately, yes.

"My parents wanted me to be a doctor. I wanted to join the military and serve my country. They treated me like a servant while they coddled my younger brother when he said he wanted to be a doctor. Granted, it took me a few years, but look where I am now. Don't worry about your parents. You have what it takes to be a good leader,"

"Thank you, sir. I feel better."

"You're welcome."

Anon pats her head before picking up his spear and standing back up. A few minutes later, there is a flash of magenta light. Twilight Sparkle is standing next to Anon. He calls the guards to attention, and they salute the Princess. Twilight smiles weakly. Then, she tells Anon that the arena is ready for him and the 25th. Twilight uses magic to open a large portal as Anon does a right face.

"BATTALION!! FORWARD, MARCH!!"

The 25th Aurora Battalion marches through the portal. Cheers of thousands of ponies fill the arena.

Anon stops the battalion when the last line is through. They are on top of a hill, with an officer's tent in front of them. Next to it are two flags. One is the national flag. The second is the Royal Guard flag, which is white with a Royal Guard helmet on it. Underneath the helmet is 25th A. Bn written in blue.

"All commissioned and non-commissioned officers, come with me! The rest of you remain in formation but at ease!" Anon orders.

Anon and his officers walk inside the tent. Inside, there is a large table with a map of the arena on it. A few candles are set up around it. The Sergeants, Sergeant Majors, and 2nd Lieutenants stand around the table while Anon stands behind it. He lays his spear and shield on the ground next to the table. After that, he looks at the map and spends around five minutes reading it. He looks down and spends around five minutes reading it. Finally, he looks up at his subordinates.

"All right, listen up. There are five control points, A through E. A- and B-points are close to 1st Lieutenant Soda Can and the 15th Sunspot Battalion. D- and E-points are close to us. The C-point is at the center. Shooting Star, you and the 10th Aurora Company will capture E. Wood Frame, you and the 33rd Aurora Company will take D. You and your units need to book it to these control points so you can get set and ready for an attack. Do what you think is necessary to defend the control points. Now, the rest of you will help me assault the A- and B-points. Now, here's the fun part of my plan. C is on top of a hill similar to the one we're on now. We need a small enough force to go unnoticed but big enough to maintain their position. Sergeant Major Potato Chip, you and your platoon will capture the C-point when the D-point has been captured. When you capture the control points, have one of your unicorns shoot a blue magic burst into the air."

"1st Lieutenant Anonymous, are you sure that's a good idea to send just fifty of us to C? I'm sure a platoon can capture the point, but I'm not 100% sure I'll have enough troops to maintain the control point," he protests.

"Okay, that's a fair point. To be safe, I'll send Sergeant Flash Sentry to accompany you. You think you can handle that, Sergeant Sentry?"

"Yes, sir, I can!" he replies.

"Good. If you need to, Sergeant Major Chip, call on more reinforcements from A and B. Ocean Dawn and Red Sun, near where A and B are a grove of trees and shrubs. When right, we'll assault the enemy and capture the control points. Soda Can will likely fight defensively, so he probably won't send many troops to attack our positions. Any troops that try to do so will be overwhelmed with numbers and skill. I'm willing to bet he thinks he can widdle down our forces by going on the defensive, but that's a mistake he'll regret."

"What about a plan of retreat if all else fails?" Sergeant Blue Moon asks.

"We'll regroup at the B-point and holt out there. We have the strength to hold our ground and launch a counterattack."

"Got it."

"Guys, the guards of the 15th don't train or drill often, so they won't be hard to defeat, but that's not an excuse to slack off. If I catch or hear about ANYONE slacking off, I will make the entire battalion run until I get tired of watching you. Any more questions?"

"For the attack on A and B, what formation will we use?" Red Sun asks.

"We'll use the two-layered arrowhead formation. Red Sun and the 29th make up the first layer, and Ocean Dawn and the 54th will make up the second. Denim Jacket, you and the rest of your company will make up the rearguard as a five-row company front. Once we break through the enemy's lines and force a retreat, send a fire team or two to capture the A- and B-points. The rules say we only need one guard, but I want to be safer than sorry. Remember, everything we do today needs to be shock and awe tactics. Watch for enemy scouts as well. We need to be able to catch Soda Can off-guard. Sergeants and Sergeant Majors, I'm sure some of you know about the rule change where to be eliminated; the enemy will only need to hit you once, so watch your comrades' backs. Red Sun, am I forgetting anything?"

"No, sir. Not that I know of," she replies.

"Fantastic. Are there any more questions?"

No one answers

"Good. All right, relay the information to your companies. We have about twenty minutes before the match starts. Dismissed."

Everyone leaves the tent to talk to their troops. Anon walks over to the hill's edge to look upon the battlefield. It has a lot of similarities to the mainland European countryside.

As a teenager, Anon and his class went on a history trip to Europe. Anon closes his eyes as the memories come back to him. They visited Bastogne, Versailles, London, Berlin, and Prague. During the trip, he kept to himself, but he nonetheless enjoyed it. It was the best week of his life, mainly because he managed to escape his miserable home life for a change.

His nostalgic flashback is interrupted when Red Sun taps his leg.

"We brought the battalion up to speed, and we are ready for battle, sir," she informs.

"Thank you. Bring the troops forward, and I want them to line up behind me," Anon orders.

"Yes, sir."

A few minutes later, the entirety of the 25th is standing behind Anon. He drops his spear and shield and removes his helmet, which he puts on the ground. Anon gets down on one knee. After performing the Sign of the Cross, Anon silently prays the Soldier's Prayer. This time, he adds a personal line to the prayer at the end. It's a plea for his troops.

"Santa María, Madre de Dios, pide a tu hijo Jesucristo este favor para mis tropas. Se han enfrentado a constante persecución y calumnias por parte de otros. Permítales tener esta victoria para demostrar a quienes se oponen a ellos que son dignos de su credo y deber. Por favor, María Santa, escucha mis súplicas," Anon prays. (Holy Mary, Mother of God, please ask thy son, Jesus Christ, this favor for my troops. They have dealt with consistent persecution and slander from others. Allow them to have this victory to prove to those who stand against them that they are worthy of their creed and duty. Please, Holy Mary, hear my pleas.)

Anon puts on his helmet and shield and picks up his spear. As he stands and turns around, he sees his troops have their helmets off. Most of them have relaxed looks on their faces.

"Everyone, put on your helmets! Prepare for battle!" Anon shouts.

The guards slip on their helmets and make sure their gear is secure. Anon does the same thing. Once that's finished, he faces the field again. Everyone is silent as they wait for the signal to start the match. Everyone waits in anticipation, but they aren't nervous about it. The fact their commanding officer would pray for them to a god that they didn't know meant a lot to them. A few moments later, a bolt of magic shoots across the sky, and it explodes like a firework. The match has started.

"BATTALION!! MOVE OUT!! DOUBLE TIME!!" Anon bellows.

The 25th Aurora Battalion jogs at moderate speed down the hill toward their assigned control points. After about a minute, a blue burst of magic burst in the sky behind Anon's forces. Two red ones explode in front of them. Then, another blue magic burst explodes to his right.

"Sergeant Major Chip, break off now!" Anon shouts.

The seventy-five guards sprint towards the C-point. Anon watches them as they split off. Compared to a few months ago, their speed and endurance are far better. Anon smiles as he focuses on his mission. Eventually, the remaining 225 make it to the grove of trees and hide. At one point, one of the guards catches what they believe to be a scout and eliminates him. They are close enough to the edge of the treeline to where they can see the enemy but deep enough to where the enemy won't notice them. To keep from revealing their position, Anon orders his troops to remove their helmet so sunlight won't reflect off them.

In the distance, Anon spots the enemy lined up in company fronts. Anon's prediction was correct. Soda Can went on the defensive and allocated most of his forces to defend the A- and B-points. Red Sun received a message via magic from Wooden and Shooting Star. They say they've engaged the enemy but very few guards—only twenty-five per control point. Then, another message comes in from Sergeant Major Potato Chip. She says the same thing. Anon starts sweating as he thinks about whether to continue his current plan or make a new one.

"Sir, what's wrong?" Ocean Dawn asks.

"We are badly outnumbered here. Over there are 425 guards. This will make things interesting," Anon responds.

"Do we need to call on reinforcements?" Red Sun asks.

"No, not while our other forces are engaged in combat. Besides, I believe we got this. Numbers don't mean shit when you have skill. On August 2, 2,244 years ago, General Hannibal of Carthage and his army of 50,000 men faced off against 80,000 Roman soldiers at the Battle of Cannae. They won, only taking 8,000 losses, while the Romans lost around 90% of their forces. Besides, look-"

Anon points behind him. The Sun is shining directly in the enemies' faces, blinding them.

"That's a good advantage," Red Sun says excitedly.

"Exctamamente como la Batalla de San Jacinto," Anon mutters. (Exactly like the Battle of San Jacinto.)

"Sir?"

"Don't worry about it. Tell everyone to get into formation quickly. Then, we'll move out."

"Right away, sir."

Within less than a minute, everyone is in formation. They slip on their helmets but are still crouched down. Anon raises his hand and then motions for them to move forward. They emerge out of the trees like a leopard in the Serengeti grasslands. At first, Soda Can can't see what's going on. Neither can his troops. They hear the sounds of marching, but they don't know where from. The Sun, as Anon had predicted, is blinding him. He can barely see the enemy even when he puts his hoof up to block out the Sun. He can barely make out a small force of the 25th Aurora Battalion marching towards his position. He smirked and ordered his troops forward, confident they could beat this smaller force.

"BATTALION!! TROT!!" Anon orders as he smirks.

They speed up their advance. The distance closes in. Adrenaline rushes through everyone in both units. Anon keeps his troops at a steady and light pace so his troops won't waste their energy in a long-distance charge. He needs them to break through and divide the enemy's line effectively.

Once they are 100 meters from the enemy, Anon gives one more command.

"CHARGE!!" he bellows.

Everyone lets out a blood-curdling battle cry as they rush forward. Soda Can, and his troops can't see a thing, so they stop and try to prepare for impact. However, it's no use. The two units collide, almost the entire front row of Soda Can's force disappears, and the lines behind them begin to split. The arrowhead formation's intended effect works perfectly. Denim Jacket sends his squads where they are needed. However, he is eliminated by a lucky jab from a spear.

The 25th begins pushing the enemy back while taking minimal casualties. Anon directs his troops exceptionally well to the point while in mid-combat. This impresses some commanding officers who are watching the match. What also impresses them is that each of Anon's troops doesn't entirely use the traditional fighting styles they were taught at basic training. Instead, they use their unique styles.

It isn't long before Soda Can orders his troops to fall back to protect the remaining control points. A blue magic burst is sent into the sky to add to the humiliating retreat. Sergeant Major Chip has captured the C-point.

Now, Anon has about 175 troops left, while Soda Can has 225 left. He sends 50 to protect the B-point. So, Anon sends Red Sun and 75 troops to the B-point while he takes the remaining 100 to finish off Soda Can. It isn't long before Red Sun succeeds in her mission, sending a blue magic burst into the sky.

Soda Can puts his remaining forces in a line to defend the remaining control point. Anon decides to call on reinforcements. 50 from D and 50 from E. Now, he outnumbers his enemy, seemingly cowering behind his men. Anon stopped his advance about 50 meters from the enemy to let his men rest, and the reinforcements arrived. He steps forward so he can speak to his opponent.

"Hey, Soda Can! How about you do yourself a favor by stopping being a coward and coming out from behind your men!" Anon shouts.

Soda Can follows the command.

"Happy?!" he shouts back.

"Yes, I am. The way I see it, you have two options. Option One is you and what's left of your battalion; drop your weapons and forfeit the match. Option Two is you can fight to the last guard. I'm fine with either one. I'll give you a one minute to think it over."

He lowers his head as he thinks about his options. When the minute is up, he draws his sword. Anon and his troops prepare for another fight. Then, the reinforcements he had called for arrived. They see their comrades ready for a fight, so with some groans of exhaustion, all of them get ready for another fight. Much to their relief, Soda Can drops his sword on the ground. His troops follow suit.

The audience and the remaining guards of the 25th Aurora Battalion cheer as blue fireworks streak across the sky. The remaining guards make their way back to their respective command tents. When they arrive at the command tent, Anon is given a report by a Royal Guard in Commander Grate's division about how many guards he lost. One hundred ninety-six guards were lost. Anon is impressed by these numbers because he expected to lose at least 50% because of how thinly he spread out his troops. He will admit his plan was risky, but it was effective. Then, a portal opens up, and the remaining guards walk through. The eliminated guards and the Elements of Harmony are on the other side. They cheer on the "surviving" guards as they walk forward. Anon hangs back a little to watch his troops celebrate. He smiles at the sight of his battalion, happy over a victory like this despite it seemingly being easy. This causes something weighing on his mind to start bothering him again. Anon pulls Red Sun aside to tell her he's returning to his tent for some alone time. She understands and nods her head. Then, he slips away unnoticed.

When he arrives, he puts his equipment down at the foot of his cot. Then, he puts his armor on the stand and puts on a clean tunic. Removing the armor after a long day always feels good, especially when physically demanding. Also, his tunic soaks up much of his sweat, sticking to his body like a glove. His underwear didn't do him any favors either.

Anon lays down on his cot and sighs. He's thinking about what's been bothering him over the past two months. He's concerned about a possible promotion. It's not the fact he's worried about getting promoted, but leaving his battalion behind. He's led them for so long that leaving them behind worries him. They are the family that he never had. More than anything, Anon loves them like a family. Then, his thinking is interrupted by someone calling his name. It's Twilight Sparkle. She's standing outside the tent.

"Hey, Anon, are you in there?" she asks.

"Yeah," he responds.

"Are you decent?"

"Yes, why?"

"Making sure. I'm coming in."

"Please, don't."

"As your princess, I'm coming in anyway."

Twilight walks into the tent.

"For a tall guy, you disappear pretty easily," she states.

"I guess."

"How come you aren't celebrating with your battalion? Is there something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I need some alone time. That's all."

"Anon, I've known you long enough to know when something bothers you. You always become antisocial and clam up. What's going on?"

"It's not important."

"That's not true. You can tell me what's going on."

Anon sits up. He has an agitated look on his face.

"Take a fucking hint, Twilight. I want to be alone, so please, let me be alone."

"Nice to know you still haven't changed one bit."

"Old habits die hard. From what I hear, you know that one very well. Now, please, leave me alone."

"Fine."

Twilight walks out of the tent, disgusted. She doesn't know how often she tried helping Anon but failed each time. She wants him to trust her, but the only ponies he seems to trust are his battalion, Celestia, and Luna. She wants to talk to Princess Celestia about how to gain Anon's trust but remembers that she and Luna are having dinner with the nobles in Canterlot that night. The next best pony would be Anon's second-in-command, Red Sun. Twilight flies over the camp, looking for her. It is long before she spots Red Sun walking with other guards on the 25th. She lands in front of them. They snap to attention and salute Twilight, who tells them to be at ease before speaking Red Sun.

"2nd Lieutenant, I need to have a word with you," she says.

"As you wish, Your Majesty," Red Sun responds.

The other guards watch as the two walk off.

"What do you need to talk to me about, Your Highness?"

"It's about Anon."

"What about him?"

"He seemed a little upset earlier and won't tell me anything. I know it's because he doesn't trust me. I want to be somepony he can open up to."

"Ma'ma, may I speak freely?"

"Sure."

Red Sun turns and stops. Her glare at Twilight sends shivers up the Princess's spine.

"Start by not prying into his fucking business."

Twilight looks confused.

"Yeah. Anon and I have talked a lot, and he told me you tend to pry into his business. I think you and I know that's incredibly fucked up. You are supposed to be the friendship expert. Not only that, a Princess of Equestria and Element of Harmony. Do yourself a favor and practice what you preach, Princess, because I don't think ponies will want to know that one of their princesses is a hypocrite."

Red Sun turns and walks away. Despite how rude Red Sun and Anon were, they have a point. Twilight sighs as she takes flight. She flies towards Ponyville so she can think. However, something catches her attention. She sees Princess Luna and 10 Guards standing at one of the Lunar Guard officers' tents. She flies down to get a closer look. When Twilight lands, she notices that the Lunar Guards have a symbol on their shoulder plates. It resembles the Mare on the Moon, which is fitting since Princess Luna was that mare. These particular guards are a part of Luna's personal bodyguard unit. Anywhere she goes, they go. All of which are thestrals. Twilight watches them talk with their Princess briefly before they walk away. What surprises her is that they walk past her like she's invisible. They didn't even salute or even say hello.

"What's going on?" Twilight asks as she approaches Luna.

"Good evening, Twilight. They are off to conduct a..."

Luna pauses momentarily to think of a better description that won't give too much away.

"...special military operation."

"What is it for?"

"I am afraid that I cannot tell you. My sister classified the nature of the operation until further notice. It is nothing against you. Not even Cadance knows about this. So, please not a word to anypony."

"Oh, that makes sense."

"Fear not, Twilight. Tomorrow, I will reveal the operation to the public."

"Should I be concerned?"

A smile creeps across the moon princess's face as she spreads her wings.

"I would not lose sleep over it, dear Twilight. There is nothing to worry about."

Luna takes flight and joins her sister in Canterlot, leaving Twilight behind.

The Royal Dining Room is full of lively music and ponies. This is the second most significant event for the nobles. Of course, the first is the Grand Galloping Gala. This particular event is for the nobles to discuss their actions in their regions or cities over the past year and exchange ideas. Then, Princess Celestia gives Luna advice. Luna doesn't have much advice because the nobles believe her opinions aren't as important as her sister's.

The event has been going on for about two hours. All the nobles are in their groups, talking, drinking champagne or wine, and eating. Some of them are talking with Princess Celestia. Luna, however, stands by herself. She sips a glass of scotch and watches a group of four ponies: two pegasi, one black Earth pony, and a brown unicorn. These nobles are the ones who plotted to poison Anon.

George was the only suspect until he confessed five nobles had blackmailed him. Per the law, he was released from jail because he put the arsenic in Anon's food under duress. Anon suspected the identity of three of the nobles. The fourth, the brown unicorn named Tall Mocha of San Francisco, had a crisis of conscience and confessed to being a conspirator. She identified a fifth noble, Peach Orchard of Baltimare, who wasn't in attendance tonight. In exchange for a lighter sentence, she also told the Princesses of a meeting and its location. They are going to discuss how to get Anon sick again. Luna chose her guards to arrest them during the meeting. She told her guards to make the arrests as quietly as possible to avoid being detected and gather evidence of another attempt.

The conspirators talk for about twenty more minutes until the yellow pegasus, Golden Bit of Las Pegasus, looks down at his watch. Then, he slips out of the dining hall. The red pegasus, Crimson Sky of Cloudsdale, leaves five minutes later. The black Earth pony, Sinister Serov of Stalliongrad, leaves about ten minutes later. Tall Mocha leaves almost immediately. Then, Luna walks over to her sister. She waits for one of the nobles to finish a joke that isn't even funny before speaking to her sister.

"Sister, may I have a word with you?" Luna asks.

"I beg your pardon, Princess Luna. We are conversing with your sister. I'm sure what you need to say can wait," Swan Song says, slightly annoyed.

"It's quite alright. I'm sure it's urgent," Celestia replies, holding up her hoof.

The two sisters walk to the terrace to be out of earshot of the nobles.

"Tia, the conspirators have left for the meeting. I will notify Captain Blossom of their departure," Luna whispers.

"Okay, good. I'm having Raven Inkwell review my public statement for the press tomorrow."

"Sinister Serov likely won't come quietly, so my guards will knock him unconscious. However, I am sure he and the Equestrian Socialist Pony's Party will create an uproar tomorrow."

"We'll deal with that when we get there. For now, we take care of the task at hand."

Luna nods once before Celestia returns to the dining hall. She ignites her horn and sends a message to Captain Blossom.

Two miles away, the ten Lunar Guards are hiding amongst the bookshelves in a bookstore owned by Peach Orchard. It's pitch black, aside from the dim light of the Moon shining in.

Of course, the first noble to arrive is Peach Orchard. He unlocks the door and sits at the tables at the back of the store. About twenty minutes later, another arrives. It's a Golden Bit. The following noble arrives about five minutes later. They sit in silence until the last three to arrive. Captain Blossom notices that Tall Mocha is very nervous. She realizes that the noblepony might unintentionally reveal what is going on. However, if she can keep her cool long enough for the others to reveal more information about the plot, that doesn't matter.

"Alright, everypony is here. Does anypony want to explain why that green ape isn't lying in a hospital bed?" Golden Bit asks.

"It's that blasted griffin. He must not have put the arsenic in or passed a note to that ape letting him know that someone tainted his food," Peach Orchard says.

"I had somepony watch him the whole time put the arsenic. He didn't say anything to him. Perhaps it was Serov who gave the griffin too little."

Sinister Serov slams his hoof on the table and glares at Golden Bit. Fury blazes in his deep blue eyes from behind his long black mane. Everyone knew he had a quick and fiery temper that tended to spiral out of control when provoked.

"How dare you accuse me of that, suka?! Unlike Comrade Altidya, I'm not that careless. I ensured that one of my followers gave the griffin enough to make a minotaur sick!" she yells.

"I also saw that the griffin acted extremely nervous when giving the ape his food. He must've noticed something was wrong."

"So, how d-do we poison him again?" Tall Mocha asks.

Serov sits back down. She pulls out a small glass vial from her thick, black jacket with her mouth. She sets it down on the table and smiles.

"I call it Novichok-1. It's an organophosphate nerve agent. A few of my scientists developed it in my private lab. I believe it's potent enough that only five milligrams can kill a minotaur in minutes," she says.

"Hold on, Sinister. I thought we were trying to make him sick enough to--"

Golden Bit holds up his hoof to interrupt Peach Orchard. There is a look of intrigue on his face. The others are completely in shock. Murdering a Royal Guard isn't what they signed up for.

"Do you have proof of how effective that poison is?" Golden Bit asks.

"Comrade Vasiliy Wheatin would love to tell you if he wasn't resting in that pine box of his," Sinister Serov replies.

"Perfect. You can buy off anypony to slip a milligram or two in a drink or food. Tall Mocha, I'm sure you can handle that."

Tall Mocha sighs deeply. Then, she taps her hoof twice to signal the Lunar Guards to move in. She leans forward as a tear falls from her eyes and onto the table.

"I'm sorry, everypony," she says.

"What are you talking--"

Tall Mocha blows out the candle, cutting off Crimson Sky. She backs away as the others scramble around in confusion. Their confusion is soon replaced with fear when ten sets of yellow, glowing eyes surround them. The dim moonlight casts the thestrals' shadows on the walls.

"What is the meaning of this, Mocha?" Sinister Serov snarls.

"Golden Bit, Crimson Sky, Peach Orchard, Tall Mocha, and Sinister Serov, you are under arrest for conspiracy to murder a Royal Guard, interfering with a royalty-sanctioned event, and possession of biochemical weapons," Midnight Blossom announces.

"Mocha, you sold us out! I'll kill you!"

Serov draws a dagger from his coat and lunges at Tall Mocha. Sergeant Major Lavender Petal jumps in front of the blade and uses his spear to knock the dagger out of his mouth. Then, he spins around, using his hind leg to kick her. Serov's head slams against the wall, and he falls to the ground, unconscious.

"Thank you," Mocha says.

Lavender Petal snorts.

The conspirators are led out of the bookstore at spearpoint while two guards carry Sinister Serov. They walk down the street not to the sector jailhouse but to the castle. Instead of going up the stairs and to the throne room like the nobles anticipate, they descend the staircase to the castle dungeons. The musty and damp smell is putrid to the nobles. Tall Mocha nearly vomits.

Captain Blossom orders the nobles to be split up. The guards give Tall Mocha a cell for her safety while they put others in a cell. Once the conspirators are locked up, two guards are placed at each door, while three more are at the dungeons' entrance.

"You will wait here until dawn. Then, you will have the opportunity to contact your lawyers for interrogation," Captain Blossom announces.

"We better, you filthy demon," Golden Bit snarls as he gets in her face through the door.

Captain Blossom bares her fangs and hisses, which gets the noble to back off out of fear. Then, she turns to leave the dungeons. As she ascends the staircase, a smile spreads across her face.

Oh, how the mighty the fallen, Captain Blossom thinks.

Author's Notes:

Wow. Two events down, one more to go. I've enjoyed writing this three-parter a lot. Of course, I'll probably do some editing that should have been made during the final cut. Also, I'm not a military strategist or tactician, so I apologize if some combat scenarios or actions aren't what we consider smart or actionable. I'm doing my best to be as accurate as possible.

I will put down the companies under the 2nd Lieutenants' command just for kicks and giggles.

10th Aurora Company (Shooting Star)
33rd Aurora Company (Wood Frame)
29th Aurora Company (Red Sun)
54th Aurora Company (Ocean Dawn)
26th Aurora Company (Denim Jacket)

Now, without further ado, the next chapter's title spoiler!
The COBA (Commissioned Officers' Battlefield Assessment) PART 3

Edits made on 4/22/2023 (grammatical and the gender of Sinister Serov. Apparently, in HOI IV [Equestria at War mod], Sinister Serov isn't a mare, but a stallion.])