Legal Troubles

by Blue Aurora

First published

Twilight gets a task from celestia it says to get drunk an have fun twilight is very confused

Twilight gets a task from celestia it says to get drunk an have fun twilight is very confused
Not really profanity but just in case for the future

First Blood

View Online

Twilight groaned in frustration, this simple task given to her by Celestia had taken up most her day. The bright ball of light going down to reveal Lunas beautiful night. The bothersome job given was simple on paper, but not so simple in action, this task you might ask was to get drunk. The mighty sun goddess had tasked twilight with the challenge to assemble her freinds and get drunk. The good mare that was twilight frownd in annoyance. This was going to be tricky.

The sky was shady and dark as twilight informed her freinds of her ludicrous assignment. She started of with pinkie pie, she was the most likely to say yes as her attitude to life was a more live it on the edge.

Twilight softly opened the door to sugar cube corner expecting the room to be empty, but to her surprise there was a rather large ammount of ponys around the counter of the confectionary shop. Twilight walked over to the counter and looked around, the sweetshop was filled to the brim with large stallions and powerful mares a rather unfitting place for the muscle driven ponys they appear to be. Her gaze drifted to the back door, yells and shouts erupted from it and a fluffy pink pony got launched out of the room.

"High twi" zipped pinkie pie as her flailing form hit the purple pony in the face.
Twilight looked extremely confused and asked in a questioning tone " what was that pinkie?"
"What" replied the crazy pink party pony.
"The what where you flew at me in Mach speeds" yelled twilight her shouting not even breaking the top noises in the room.
"Oh that silly why didn't you just say that, I was playing a game called Boxing, Lyra invented it." Practically yelled the mare.
"What is this boxing you say," asked the purple mare.
"Oh so what you do is you drink this, it's called alcohol, it makes you clear minded," beamed the mare.

Twilight came to a realisation, she could fulfil princess Celestias orders and do this new thing that pinkie likes. Twilight slid the bits on the counter and told Berry Punch to hand her her strongest alcohol.
Berry looked at twilight and asked " your knew to this aren't you"
Twilight nodded embarrassed as Mrs punch slid over a bottle labelled STALLIONGRAD vodka and a large glass and she then poured out about an eighth of the glass of the vodka and the rest cola.
She then said " I don't think your ready for a pure shot so here you go," sliding the drink over and the bits back she said "you can keep the bits its on the house"

Twilight drunk the drink its flavour stinging her throat. The taste of vodka blended so well with the cola a mental tear slipped from her eye.

About 30 minutes later twilight had gone through her fifth drink an was practically falling over. Pinkie came back from the back room and asked if twilight was ready to play her response of a sour grunt was all she needed to hear as the drunk pony was pulled into the dark room.
The pink pony said to the purple one, " so what you have to do is if your opponent goes to punch you you duck ok, and after they punch you punch back ok, and finally you pin them to the ground to win ok." Pinkies slurred explanation was understood by the groaning protégée.

Blinding lights filled the room and the previously obscured platform in the middle became more and more inviting. It's elastic railings and moving headlights reminded twilight of the old movie that Lyra showed her called jocky it was about a pony who wanted to do something twilight couldn't remember and he punched ponys to do it. She stepped into the rectangle ready to face her opponent, a mist enveloped the stage and a lone figure could be seen. The figure uttered three words, " it is I"

Trixies coughs could be heard echoing through the room as her own smoke caused her to have to swig what Twilight hoped wasn't liquor trixie then staggered the centre of the stage her front hooves of the ground rearing up as if to throw of bags on her back twilight then realised this is what pinkie meant by punching and ducked out of the way of a speeding hoof. She could hear the noise of the air rushing around the magic mares hooves.

Twilights attention faltered by a small fly buzzing by, a large hit to her muzzle snapped her out of it though. Blood running down twilights muzzle and a crazed look on her face twilight did the only thing she could have possibly done and reeled her hoof back, she flung forward with intention to hit through trixies shoulder the burning anger in her eyes furling the fire that was her fist. Trixies stood still a look of fear on her face , the sheer fear of dying to this punch standing like a deer in headlights.

Twilights legs crossed tripping her over the difficulty of stand on her hind legs showing as she rolled over and started shouting obscenities at anyone who met her eyes. Trixie just looked at twilight with confusion. All of that for nothing and then to have a tantrum right after pitiful if I do say so she thought, trixies smug expression never wavered as she turned around and walked away to the corner and waited for the pony to get up.

She tuned around and was face to face with twilight her bloody nose and bloodshot eyes expressed her crazed demeanour she gazed into her eyes and realised that she had to move. A flurry of punches came trixies way the speed only seen in those japonyse cartoons with pontaro and pegasio and there ghosts Stary Luna and The Celestia. The flurry of punches continued and all trixie could do was dodge and weave her way around the vicious purple blur. Trixie then saw an opening and took it but twilight was too fast and responded with a punch in the temple.

Trixie went limp and cheers erupted from the crowd shouting "twilight twilight twilight" this felt exhilarating she thought and made a mental note to have a try at this again. She walked over to a sad looking pinkie and when twilight got close she said "I had 1 bit that you would loose."
Twilight shot an offended look at pinkie and said "ok your next."
Pinkie looked amused and laughingly said" I was only joking twi I had 10 bits you would win"
"And now I have enough bits to buy alligator food."

A large crash came from the front room. And shouts of get down could be heard. But everyone in the back room were either to drunk or didn't care as the Royal guard stormed sugacube corner.


View Online

The gold plated ponys crashed through the door to the back room. The drunk ponies inside giving them cross eyed stares. The first pony to speak up was pinkie the only slightly sober pony in the room. She said to the crowd around her "scatter," every pony in the room snapped to attention this one word the only thing that could be registered in their hazed brains. Suddenly as if a grenade had been set off in the vicinity of the guards the ponys rushed to the Windows scrambling hastily to escape capture. The guards looked on in awe as about 100 ponys cleared a room in 10 seconds flat , the only equines left were 2 groaning unicorns one was a pastel purple and the other a ocean blue.

The Royal guard captain shouted out commands and the other armour clad ponys picked up the groggy twilight and trixie. Hoof cuffs were placed on the drunk brawlers and surpression rings on their horns, the low hum of the rings sounding like a generator. In any other circumstance twilight would have been elated to see such a magical device but now all her groggy mind could say was "hah I won," but her reality fas far from it as the guardhouse came closer.

The grimy halls were all twilight could see as she woke up, a massive migraine racked her head. To her it felt like a stake was forcing its was through her skull. The purple pony could hear shouts. She acknowledged the magic suppressor on her head because of the constant buzzing it was making creating a mundane tune of buzzbuzz buzzzz on repeat forever. The shouts could be heard more clearer now due to the shouting pony being carted away in a cage. Passing right by her cell twilight recognised the pony occupying it, it was trixie.

The realisation of what happened hit her like a speeding train the fight and the alcohol the arrest. The thought of why the guards has stormed sugar cube corner was confusing as why would a sweet shop/ nightclub be raided by the police. Twilight waited for a few more hours, time slowed by like a slug, it's continuous nothing never stoping until a distraction takes that away.


A deep red Unicorn stallion in gold plate mail walked over to twilight sparkle his pen enveloped in its telekinetic grasp,as well as a pad propped up on a shield wall. This stallions name was Upside and his job was to write happy story's much like his name and cutie mark shows. His cutie mark was a lot like Celestias if you look at them as both show Suns but where the alicorn princesses is regal his has a smiley face on it.

The princess mentioned has a protégée this star child was sitting right before him forearms on the bars staring into nothing. Upside waved his hoof in front of her face and no response. He tapped her still slightly blood crusted nose, no response. In a final last ditch effort he reached out with his magic and gave her a small electric shock. As if he had just jumpstarted a car, twilight began to twitch then move slightly and finally snap out of her blank haze.

Upside put on his most serious voice and asked, " twilight sparkle we have reason to believe you took excess amounts of illegal drugs, instigated a bar fight and took part in an illegal party as of decree 456 that states all party's that include illegal substances or promotes extreme violence." Upsides face tried to remain stoic as he got an answer from the purple peeved off pony. " I didn't do that" she said to the journalist blankly. Upside frowned and snickered a bit. The intellectual scholar has no defence other than I didn't do that.

Twilight gave upside a deadly glare and practically shouted at him" under decree 401 a pony is not held responsible for actions done under influence. Under decree 238 it states that a pony is not held responsible if being tricked to break the law, also under decree 3 it states that the show must always go on and finally under decree 599 it states that if an item is cursed or made different in any way this is now a destructive class object and outside the duritictions of conventional laws if the item is not the reason behind the rule breaking this rule is changed see discord laws number 1273"

Twilights factual rambling was being speedily written down, this story is going to be my career saver upside thought, but his hopes were shattered as a bright ball of light descended from the sky and disappeared into a tall white alicorn. Celestia towered over upside as he looked at the sun goddess in awe. She looked down to Upside and said " leave," in a commanding tone. Upside slinked into the corner out of sight and listened to what celestia had to say to twilight. He thought that If the alicorn caught him he would probably be in great trouble but he wanted to keep his Job though so he stayed silent.

Celestia lowered down to twilights level and whispered," my dear pupil you have exceeded my expectations, at first I expected you to just leave my task or send for a knew one but in the end you plucked up the courage to go out and get drunk, but what you didn't know was I was the one to set this up your downfall was because of me. Over the years I came to realise that you were just too powerful. I glimpsed into the future and saw you wearing my crown the symbol of rulership over equestria. I came to the conclusion, I had to get rid of you to keep my place as the ruler, goodbye twilight." Celestial then raised her voice " guards take her away she deserves no trial, to the depths of the canterlot mines for her and the solitary confinement save no chances for her to escape."

Upside crept away with a look of terror on his face

Tunnels my favourite

View Online

The Mane 6 (accept Twilight) were sitting in sugarcube corner awaiting their orders, the pink maned Mrs cake was manning the counter today and had her hands full. Pinkies expression held a depressed frown her hair straight and sad. Applejack held a newspaper in her mouth and threw it in the table. " I told you to keep her safe when out," growled applejack. " and now she has been arrested, it's all your fault."

Pinkies eyes welled up a lone tear sliding down her eye." I.. I didn't mean to, I didn't know that their was drugs at the party. I didn't know that she was given them. I know I was supposed to watch over her but how was I to know that someone spikes her drink. Raritys eyes made contact with pinkies and pinkie looked at her hopefully but rarity just looked away giving an annoyed huff.

Rainbow dash was awfully quiet during the conversation/plea and the following silence made even worse when fluttershy gave a hurt stare at pinky. The silence was finally broke when Mrs cake came over with the drinks, today everyone got the same a purple smoothie.


Upside was the epitome of happiness, the scoop he got the day before had just blown up. Everyone was talking about it and this definitely helped his persuit of fame and more importantly a promotion. He was no longer Upside the reporter, but now Upside the chief of outer Appaloosa journalism. This was a big step in his lifelong dream of owning a news company.

Upsides happiness radiated off of him like a sun, literally. Upside had a peculiar ability, this being the ability to sense or give of emotions in a way that affects others. When he was little his parents would bring him to places like funerals to lighten the mood. But what he didn't know then was that his ability was being paid for. All of those funerals his family paid for what upside did. The thing is his family didn't need the money. They didn't need it but had it to buy off land and force people to pay them in an endless cycle.

About 1 year later though they were caught in a drug trade and were exposed as addicts, it turns out equestria has a terrible drug problem and that needs to be fixed, so people would expose addicts in hope of dissuading people from doing the messy narcotics, and to get a sweet pay check.


The musky smell of the dark dirty mines of canterlot were an uninviting thing to observe, let alone partake in. Twilight chipped away at the dark blue walls of canterlots lower catacombs every now and then seeing a dusty and grimy pony to hand in the valued crystals she was sent here to mine. Her only form of company was a short stallion ( possibly foals use to small size ) named numit.

She asked about his name and he just replied with, " mistakes were made in the heat of passion," Numit told twilight that his fur used to be black and white spotted but now was just black and his luscious mane was a dull green. The only thing that he "says" remains normal in these icky mines is his eyes. His eyes were a deep green and had white pupils. Despite this he claims to have perfect eyesight and comments on how yellow twilights purple mane looks.

Twilight was mostly alone however as she only has 5 hours of sleep time and wants to use that to the fullest and that she also the only time she has any form of communication. The purple unicorn squealed in glee as she just un earthed a rather shiny gem. If this gem is diamond she could move to a more open location for the time being and relax for a bit whilst the guard takes the rare mineral up to a lab 100 meters up.

There are 10 layers to the underground mining prison.

Layer one - the observation layer.
Inmates here have the most freedom. They have weekly trips to main canterlot and either are nearing the end of their scentence of have climbed the ranks fast.
Layer two - the fight layer.
This layer holds daily contests of magic and Brawn for a chance to move up a spot in the prison board
Layer three - the training layer.
This layer is purely used to train for the second layer and to train hard enough to get up their.
Layer four - the show layer.
This layer has to be picture perfect, this is the floor shown in the ads or the documentaries
Layer 4.5 - the Unknown layer.
Anypony who is to insane but still climbed the ranks gets put here. Ponys who go in ever get out.
Layer five - the farm layer.
This layer is purely for farming and acquiring farm land to farm on to rise to the next level.
Layer six - the magic level.
Ponys here are farmed of their magic essence. They are well fed and taken care of and rise by performing amazing stunts.
Layer seven - the animal level.
Ponys here are to exterminate animals to troublesome for normal ponys. To rise kill all you can.
Layer eight - the test level.
Ponys here are tested on and experimented on usually by dragons breath or poison. To rise you have to make a test work.
Layer nine - the factory level.
Ponys here sort out the gems and other items given to them by the last level. To rise you have to be an exceptional worker.
Layer ten - the mine.
The largest of these layers. You serve your superiors and mine for days on end to work of your scentence. To rise you have to mine rare adamantine ore.

And dear old twilight has to escape this hell hole.

Day in the life of Upside

View Online

Upside whistled happily, the warm air of appleoosa beaming down on his crimson coat. The townsponys looked at him with looks of confusion on their faces each hiding an accent of mirth, this mirth directed to the seeming to be crazy stallion walking down the dusty path whistling out of tune and sounding like a cuckoo on crack. The supposed craziness of the pony added to by its smiley face sun cutiemark making people convinced that this Colt was as mad as a hatter.

The red being of joy stopped next to a decrepit house its walls made of wood falling apart and the crooked sign unreadable, the building had a large stack of papers next to it and a typewriter along with a note. This note read ' Dear Upside, this place you are looking at is your new home as well as your base of operations. I have seen to it that your stuff is already in the house and you have at least the bare minimum of materials to write your work in. Yours truly Cross Doo."

Upside was elated more than he already was, free housing although a tad bit broken, a free work setup and a letter from the chief mailmare Cross Doo. He put a hoof to the door pushing it open, there was no lock he would need to get that replaced, the front room of the house was a mess. Broken pieces of chair were everywhere the papers scattered about and the table oh the table, the table was brand knew its shiny gloss covered exterior and the ornate legs curving around like gusts of wind, he then realised something, this was his table.

Before going upstairs he decided that the best course of action was to clear the house room by room so he did. ( I do not want to write tem paragraphs on cleaning so I'm just going to do one.) The rooms of the houses were tiresome to clean their messiness fluctuating between moderate to dark souls difficulty. The most difficult of all though was the bedroom. The four poster bed of upsides was a mess it being plonked right on top of the crumbling draws upside had to move the bed and then re build the drawers then put it back it was an extremely arduous task. After that upside was exhausted so he made use of his bed and went to sleep.