> Needing Good Help in the Dark Black Bayou
>  by Jack Lindqvist
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Flash bees!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The swamp made a sound. It bubbled. It blubbered. It was a wheezing sound, almost like the kind you might hear from a teapot, but no, not really. It was more, more! It was an aggressive sound, and Twilight didn't like it, but what happens when you are already anxious, is that the anxiety reaches out into the world and covers it with negativity. That is something Twilight, worried Twilight, at this worried moment, knew. 

Cattail bumbled forward over the rocky, patchy ground. "We have to do this?" he said. 

"I think so," Twilight said, as if it was obvious, but it wasn't obvious to him. He wasn't used to dealing with flash bees. "One might even call it a moral responsibility."

"A r- r- responsibility?" He looked up to the beehive on the top of the tree, or close to the top, anyways. "We could get killed. Still, I think you're right. We don't want someone to get hurt. I think so." 

"No, we indubitably don't," Twilight said, somewhat playfully, but with a hint of worry in her voice. "We don't. We will do this. I believe we can. I trust we can."

"You sure?"

Twilight looked at him, grimacing. "The least we can do, Cattail, is try, and if we try, then we can at least say that we've tried."

"She's an animal expert, your friend?"

Twilight nodded. "That's quite correct."

Fluttershy, poor Fluttershy, had been chased down and stung into submission by these bees, and she passed out, just as much from that as she did from exhaustion, before the events of this story transpired. One might feel sorry for her, pity her, and more than that, but Twilight, even though she loved her friend, had time for none of that now, because it was time, really, for really, really, and in all actuality, really, really, really serious business. Twilight took charge and ran up to the tree, stopping at the trunk.  

"There has to be a way we can do this," she said. "I just know it."

Cattail wobbled up to her, feeling a little unstable, and nauseous. "I don't know," he said. "Maybe we should wait."

"We won't," Twilight said. "What will we tell her when she wakes up? That we did nothing? And what about Zecora?"

Cattail sighed. "What's with me? You're right. In fact, I'm going up there right now." He ran up the tree. Twilight tracked him with her eyes. She could already tell this was going to end really badly, but she thought that, rather than stopping him, she should see what he would do.

"Augh."

He came running back down with a bunch of bees flying after him. 

"Wait," Twilight said, as he ran past her. She grabbed the bees with her magic. But they wiggled back and forth, and got out of her grip. Then, they took chase for Twilight. "Not good." She turned the other direction and ran, running as fast as her tiny purple hooves could carry her. The bees took great chase, but then, they stopped and flew back up into the tree. Twilight kept running, and then, she pulled the brakes, stopping. She turned, though with care, and then, she looked out at the wide open area around the tree. 

"Cattail?"

He was nowhere to be found. Twilight clicked her tongue, and skipped back to the tree. "That guy sure is scared of those bees." She shook her head. "Still, they're just bees. They're not tigers, and they're not monsters, or nothing."

Cattail came running back, gasping. "Are they gone?"

"No," she said. "They just came back." He turned around to run away, but she grabbed him with magic and hovered him in the air. "No, don't run, Cattail," she said, calmly. "No. No," she said, almost mumbling. "No."

"Yes, yes," he said. "We can't stop these bees."

"Stop them? We just have to get that honey." She put him down. 

He was about to run away, but then stopped and turned around. "Bees," he said. "They're not to mess with, bees, you should know. My grandmother was almost killed by bees once." 

Twilight nodded, looking interested. "Fascinating." She looked at the tree, and then back at him. "Will you be of help, or will you be of zero help, Cattail?" 

"Okay, but what can we do?"

"A plan," Twilight said.

"A plan?"

"Never underestimate the power of a good plan."

The tree was big and full of branches that branched off in different squiggles, making patterns that are quite pretty, and also quite imposing to a person that has to climb them. Right next to the trees was a lake, and in front of it, a small open area, like a meadow. This was Twilight's and Cattail's battleground for the foreseeable future. It was them versus the bees. The bees versus them, it was, and would continue to be, until they had solved their bee problem in a way that is more permanent, and that was their plan, and so they would do, off to adventure and all that. Still, this wasn't the kind of adventure any of them preferred, but an adventure it was, and that's what mattered to them, all that mattered to them, and they would embrace this little journey to the end, Twilight because she wanted to help a friend, and Cattail because he wanted to help the friend of a friend, or at least try, but the flash bees were trickier than any of them realized, sadly.  





A plan is something that Twilight liked thinking up, and a plan is what the two needed, or so it at least seemed. Fluttershy had been lost in a slumber because of her incessant attempts at saving her dear friend Zecora, through travelling to the swamp, through arriving there, and trying to get that sweet honey. Zecora had been struck with swamp fever, entirely by accident, when she tried to help Fluttershy get a precious flower, and she, Fluttershy, blamed herself for it, but of course she did. Why wouldn't she? She wanted Zecora to get this plant, which was a moss, or else, she didn't know what she would do, for she needed it, you see, to brew a cauldron full of colorful splash, which she would use to help get the many animals in the sanctuary a snack, a tiny one, maybe, perhaps, or so she thought, but her thoughts vanished and were replaced by horror when she realized that Zecora had been taken with swamp fever, which is apparently a deadly disease, as far as everyone knew, and all that was concerned, and so, Fluttershy headed off and out to find the cure, and it led her here, and one thing leading to the next led to Fluttershy, not sleeping in a day, or more than that, unconscious, and tired, and off her rocker, really, tired out of her mind. Really, Fluttershy was not in shape to do any of this.

Twilight thought that would make for a good lesson when she woke up, but now, there was no time for life lessons, or friendship ones. Life isn't just about theoretics and philosophy. It's about action, and practicality, and Twilight actually cared about those a lot too, in addition to theories of things, and the philosophy behind them. She looked up at the tree that was all branchy and squiggly, big and wide, and she figured that she would need a little bit of everything to solve this problem. Her first idea had been a failure. 





"Hey, Cattail," Twilight said. 

"Yes, Twilight."

"One of us leads the bees away, and the other climbs up to get the honey. How's that sound?"

"Like death," he said, smiling.

"Fantastic," she said. "Let's do it then." Twilight flew up to the bees and poked the hive, and then, she flew away as fast as she could, with bees flying after her. Cattail, in the meantime, watched this happen, and then he climbed up the tree as fast as he could. A single bee came flying out the hive. He reached in his hoof into it. The bee stung him on the nose. He sneezed, and fell down to the ground. The swarm turned around and flew after him instead.

"Please nooo," he screamed, running toward the water. He held his breath and jumped into the water. The bees just waited there. A minute went by. Then he came up. A single bee flew by and stung him on the nose. He grabbed the edge of the lake. Another bee stung him on the nose. He sneezed sinking back down into the lake. Twilight grabbed him and pulled him up.

"Okay, that was a perfect failure," she said. "We'll try something different.





Now, Twilight was looking at the tree, pondering solutions. She was pondering problems, pondering philosophies, and theories, trying to figure out which way, theoretically, was the best way to get this stupid honey, without hurting the bees or their hive of course, because Fluttershy wouldn't like that, and Twilight wasn't much fond of hurting nature herself. Besides, it might also hurt the honey, and then, there would be no cure, and that's no good.

Twilight stared the tree up and down. "Aha," she said. "I have another plan, a better one."

"What?" Cattail said, rubbing his nose.

"Don't be so down," Twilight said. "They can't all be a winner, and your nose will heal up for sure, so don't you worry about that."

"Those bees are bad news. I don't know if we should do this."

"Come on," Twilight said. "Think of Fluttershy. Think of what we're fighting for. We can't just give up."

"Point taken."





Twilight came walking with a hollow tree trunk that she found in the wood. "This is useful." She put it down beside the tree. "We'll use it to lure the bees away, and then trap them, until we can get the honey. The bees fly into it, and then, I cover it with a field of magic, a barrier. The tree will be covered by magic in one end, and I will keep it pushed against the ground, so the bees can't escape the other end. This plan's bound to work. I mean, they're just stupid bees."

Cattail nodded. "So what do I do then?"

"You get the honey," Twilight said, "while I lure the bees away."

"Can't I be the one to lure them away this time?" he said, raising a hoof in protest.

Twilight smiled at him and shook her head. "Not that it matters, but I need to get the chance to do my magic, so that's why I need to be the one to do it."

"How will you get them into the trunk?"

"Haven't thought of that yet, hmm!" Twilight got an idea. "Ah, wait a minute. You can be the one to do it this time."

"It's just because last time, you were the one to do it, but I still got the bees swarming all over me, and they stung me a few times, so that's no good."

"I can imagine it's not," Twilight said. She really wanted to do this, so she could help Fluttershy and Zecora, and she was happy that Cattail was here to help too. "You know, I really appreciate your help, just so you know."

He smiled at her, and they smiled at each other. 





"Okay, you ready?" Twilight said. 

"Yes."

"Then let's do this." Twilight lifted the tree-trunk up to the tree. It was a long cylinder. Cattail was already up there, looking at the bees, but being careful about it. He had already gotten stung a few times, and he had learned that this really hurt, getting stung by bees. It's a terrible business. 

The empty trunk, that was hollow all the way through, got up just beside Cattail and the hive. He dutifully poked the hive and then ran in the trunk. The bees flew after and into the trunk. He got out on the other side. Twilight covered the lid with her magic, and slammed the trunk into the ground, so no bees would be able to escape.

"Success," she said. "Now, to get the honey."

Cattail climbed back up the tree, while Twilight kept track of the bees. She shouted to him, "I told you this would be easy." The buzzing from inside the trunk stopped, and this alerted Twilight, so she lifted it, and beneath the trunk was a hole in the ground. "Bees can do that?" Twilight said. "Then where are they now?"

Bees shot out of the hive and into Cattail's mouth. "Ow, nooo," he said.

"No!" Twilight said. "They got back there all the way? How?"

"Noeugh," he said, mouth full of bees.

"Nooo," Twilight yelled, grabbing him with her magic levitation and pulling him down.

"Aaah!" he yelled, screaming out bees out of his mouth that shot into Twilight's mouth.

Now, they were both on the ground. "Nooo. Pweh, pweh," Twilight said, spitting out bees that flew into his mouth.

"Make it stop." He stared at her with panic in his eyes.

"I don't know how. This is horri- bleh." A bee came out of her mouth, a single bee, and then landed on his nose stinging it, and then, the bees flew back to their hive.

"Okway," Twilight said, tongue all swollen. "This pwan was a wailure." 

"You thwink?"

"Yueah," Twilight said, involuntarily sticking her tongue out. "Stwill. There's gwot to be swomething we can wo."

"Like h-what?" he said, trying to regain his speech.

A lightbulb flashed above Twilight's head, at least inside her thoughts. "I know." 

"This was a bwad idea," he said. "I just knew it."

"Noo," Twilight said, nudging him. "We can do swomething." 

"Wohoo," he said, smiling.

"I knew you had the right plum gumption..." Twilight trailed off and fainted, losing consciousness completely.





"Okay, bees," Cattail said, feeling a little better now. "Now, it's just you and me. Do your worst on me. I can take it."

Nothing happened.

"I will get that honey, for Twilight, and Fluttershy, and Zecora." 

A mild buzz and the rustling off leaves in the distance wheezed through the air.

"Here goes nothing," he said. He was wearing a costume that looked like a giant bee, and that costume, he thought, could fool anyone. This was the best idea yet, and now, he would get the honey for sure. He climbed up the tree. 

"Bzz, bzz," he said. Bzz."

A single bee came out of the hive, and landed on his nose, but rather than stinging him, it just sat there. "Bzz." He reached into the hive. More bees came out and landed on him. Then, the entire swarm came out and sat down on him. "Bz." He got a hoof-ful of honey. He smacked his lips. Then, he remembered that he had thought of no way to retrieve or store it, so he put it back.   

"Silly me," he said. He climbed down. The bees were still all seated on him. Then, one flew under his arm. "That tickles." More bees flew under his arm. He started laughing. Then, they landed on his belly, crawling back and forth, and up and down, over it. "Hahahahaha." He wheezed and laughed, louder and louder, but the bees just kept on going. "No. No," he said. "Stop it, please." The bees swarmed all over his belly, and his armpits, gathering there, making him laugh more and more, as Cattail, it turns out, was extremely ticklish. "Waugh-hahaha." He laughed, but the more he laughed, the less it felt joyful and the more it felt painful. He couldn't move. He laughed so much that his entire body couldn't move, and he just cramped together, wiggling back and forth, laughing. "Noo-hoho." He was having the funniest time of his life. It was torture to him.  

"No." Twilight came running. In the span of a day, she had woken up. "Shoo," Twilight said to the bees, but they just kept tickling him.

"This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me," he said, laughing.

"Is it really the worst thing?" Twilight said.

"Just get them off meee. Please." He jumped and writhed and wiggled, all-around, all over, back and forth. "Whyy? What did I do to deserve thi- hihihiii." 

Twilight dispersed the bees with magic, but this time, they just flew back to the hive. He just lay there, gasping for air, wide-eyed, feeling like death, feeling tortured, and his body was full of anxiety and angst now. 

He started crying a little.

"I will be all right," Twilight said, holding him. "It will all be okay."

"It felt like it went on for hours. It just wouldn't stop."

"It's okay. Please, relax. I'm here now." Twilight understood that she really had no idea what he had gone through, and she accepted that, all the same.

"I have never- I didn't know that a pony could feel like that before I- I- and those bees. What's happened to me?" He bawled.

"Never again," Twilight said. "I will do this on my own now. You just go home and rest. You'll be okay." And he did, slowly walking, feeling fearful of everything around him. "Okay," Twilight said. "Now, it's mono el mono. One last try, for the books."





Twilight flew up far above the tree, way up into the air. "It turns out that I have something you bees don't have." She thought about all the things she had learned in all the years since she had met her friends, all the trials and trepidations behind her, and ahead of her, was a hive full of bees, the strangest and most persistent bees that Twilight had ever had the sad misfortune of meeting. Her magic shot up into the air, dispersing into the clouds. "I have alicorn magic, bees, and boy, I sure do hope Celestia will forgive me for this." The clouds rumbled, and torrents of rain poured down out of them.  

It was a flood. The rain made the lake grow, and it drenched the tree, which had the big hive in it. "Okay." Twilight then pushed all the clouds together, making them gather over that one tree, where all the honey was. "Now, either the bees fly out of the hive, or, well, they have to." 

The bees flew out, as the area surrounding the tree was entirely dry and devoid of rain, as a consequence of Twilight's powerful display of magic. "Good." She flew down toward the hive. Then she reached her hoof in. The hive was somehow, mysteriously, entirely, really entirely empty. "Uh-oh." She looked down toward the bees, and each carried with it an individual honeycomb, flying away from the hive. "What if they take the honey to a place where we can't find it?" She stopped the rain immediately. The bees flew back, but now, Twilight was prepared and put up a magical shield around her body. A hundred bees crashed right into it. 

"Bleh," Twilight said to the bees, sticking out her tongue. She then realized that the shield was big enough to encompass the hive, which was inside the shield, a round globe-shaped apparition that Twilight had created to protect herself against the bees, and out of the hive came a single bee. Rather than stinging her, it landed on her nose, flailed its arms around, buzzing and humming.  

Then, it pointed away from the tree, turned its back to her, and flew back into the hive. "Wow," Twilight said. "Maybe these bees really are smarter than I thought." The bee came out with a drop of honey in its hand and pushed it into Twilight's eye. Then, it flew back to the hive. Twilight removed the shield and landed on the ground. A few bees came after her and stung her, but most of them just flew back into the hive, again.  

"Ow, ow," she said, rubbing her wounds. "I guess doing this wasn't as easy as I first thought. I have been humbled, by, um, by bees." She looked back up at the tree. Everything looked normal now. The tree was a little wet. "M'kay then," Twilight said. "Then, we'll just have to solve this whole thing with Fluttershy, when she wakes up, I guess."





Back inside the house was now Twilight, and Cattail was too, and Fluttershy lay in bed, still knocked out cold.

"You know, Cattail," Twilight said. "I've learned something today."

"What did you learn?"

Twilight thought about how she would phrase this. "I've learned that you should know your boundaries, and not bite off more than you can chew."

"That's a good lesson," he said.

"Also," Twilight said, looking at Fluttershy. "She's the expert here, not me, and I'd do well to remember that." 

He nodded. "She's the animal expert."

Twilight continued. "And most of all."

"Most of all?"

"Don't mess with flash bees." Twilight nodded to herself, and he also nodded, agreeing with her.

"Yep."

Twilight took a deep breath, and then coughed, spitting out a bee. It flew around the house, and then out the window. "Don't ever, ever mess with flash bees." 

Fluttershy was waking up. "Let's not talk about this with Fluttershy. She's been out for days. I don't want to upset her."   

"I agree," he said. 

"What a terrible turn of events."

Fluttershy's eyes opened. Twilight was happy to see that her friend was okay.