The “Q” Word

by Short-tale

First published

Nurse Redheart is having a slow night in the ER until the new pony says the “Q”. Rookies never learn.

Nurse Redheart just wants to see a nice sunrise after her long overnight. A new member of the staff unknowingly releases the flood gates of medical Tartarus when he mutters the wrong word.

I would like to thank Bean, GayforGadot, Shirlendra, RDT, Techno Blaze, Mykola, Ranoutofideas, Sledge and SmokeyisClassy for proofreading, comments and general awesomeness.

Further thanks to Punished Bean for creating this awesome cover! Thanks buddy.

The “Q” Word

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Nurse Redheart sat at her desk in the middle of the Ponyville Regional Network Hospital. She glanced at the clock. Its propeller hands pleasantly told her it was 5am. She smiled. It had been a long shift and an overnight as well. The bitter taste of her x brand coffee kept her head from slumping forward into her magazine.

It was a slow night in the ER. Not the type of night that was good for nurses but the type that was good for everypony else. She only had one patient. Hiccup Stumbles. He was an older stallion with an insatiable love of cider. The Emergency Wagon brought him
in staggering through the street again. She gave him his normal room in the back and let him sleep it off. She just did a check on him and noticed he was snoring away. She’d checked his vitals and left where he lay.

An hour to go to sunrise. Sunrise signaled the end of her shift. It also promised to be a beautiful morning. Redheart found that mornings after long overnights held the most beautiful sunrises. She wasn’t sure if it was just the anticipation of seeing it or if Celestia secretly checked her roster and gave these gifts on those mornings. She knew the sky was cloudless. The air was crisp and clear. She would be able to see so many colors. She loved sunrises.

A peal of laughter in the back broke her concentration. The other nurses and medics were toiling away the night with cards. She looked longingly at the four of them but she was in charge tonight and somepony had to sit out front.

“A full carriage!” she heard Nurse Ivy Push cry. “How is it that you always get these impossible hoofs at the last minute?! You took four cards!”

“Celestia blessed me with powers beyond your comprehension,” bragged the medic Klinger Gauze. “Lucky for me I am lucky at cards and love.”

“You wish!”

“You will find out one day, Ivy. I know you’re curious about what pegasi are like. It’s only a matter of time.”

This was baseline to Nurse Redheart’s ears. Ivy and Klinger had been dancing around each other for months. She doubted either of them would know what to do with the other if they actually tried to date. Maybe one day they would drop the act and admit their true feelings for each other. And maybe one day she would express her feelings to her special mare she thought sarcastically. She knew she wouldn’t. She didn’t have a special some pony. Work always took so long and left her so drained that the prospect of dating seemed like a foreign concept. Some part of her wanted a pony that knew her job and understood her plight. The other part of her wanted to find a nice mare that had nothing to do with this field allowing her to fully leave the job here as she returned to them.

She was jostled from her thoughts as a tentative hoof tapped her shoulder. Startled, she looked over to find a bright red earth pony stallion behind her.

“Hi,” he said looking down.

It was Ace Bandage. The rookie Emergency Wagon operator. Ace had just started in the field this week and seemed eager and much too young. Still it was nice to have some new blood to revitalize old cynical thoughts. Red Heart glanced sternly over the timid wagon pony’s shoulder. The rest of that room were craning out the door with ears picked. They were at it again.

“So huh, what do you do most nights you aren’t here?” Ace inquired.

“Sleep,” Redheart’s cold answer cut through the air. She hoped that her monotonous response would shut him down. She returned to her magazine. It was too late for these sort of pranks.

“Oh, huh, I meant, for huh fun,” the young stallion looked petrified and completely thrown off his game. He obviously had none.

“I don’t remember what fun is,” Redheart said, admitting more than she cared to with her snark. “I’m here most nights and the nights I’m not I’m too tired to think of anything past a good book or a relaxing cup of tea. Also I’m sorry the others put you up to this but I’m into mares.”

“Wha?” Ace said, suddenly withdrawing as if she burst into flames. His face somehow became a radiant shade of scarlet under that red hair. “But they ...they said.”

He spun on the giggling gawkers. “Just because I’m new and it’s quiet doesn’t mean you can be mean to me!”

“What did you say!?” Nurse Redheart demanded, dropping her magazine. “You can’t say the ‘Q’ word now with an hour to go.”

“The wha?”

“You failed in his training Gauze! The ‘Q’ word is one of the first things you should teach him.”

“He used the ‘Q’ word?!” shouted Klinger. “Oh rookie. We’re screwed now!”

“What is the ‘Q’ word?!” Ace demanded practically stomping his hooves on the floor.

“Quiet,” Redheart explained calmly. It had already been uttered. There was no sense in hiding from it now.

The universe heard and didn’t like such a contemptuous word. The gods of emergency medicine glanced at each other with red glowing eyes of anger. Their voices filled the air sounding like sirens and tones calling all those who were sick or injured to rally to PRN hospital.

The door burst open to the ER and Pinkie Pie came rushing in carrying a semiconscious Berry Punch. The mare had her normal confused look on her face and glazed look in her eye.

“Nurse Redheart!” Pinkie shouted then dropped Berry to wave then picked her up again. “Berry’s not feeling good. She’s really silly and talking all about spaceships and something called Sunkist and Sudafed and...”

“Ok, ok, Pinkie, we’ll take a look,” Redheart assured. She didn’t need a million words at a hundred decibels. “Are you sure she hasn’t been drinking?”

“Not that I saw,” Pinkie excitedly informed. “Ooo ooo she might have because she had to pee an awful lot.”

“How do you..Nevermind I assume you were feeding her cupcakes? Some sort of sugary thing.”

Before Pinkie could answer tones from the radio filled the room. “Ponyville Ambulance and Fire, respond to 7 East Pine street for a mare down. Repeating to Ponyville Ambulance and Fire respond to 7 East Pine street for a mare down, five oh six.”

“Thanks Rookie!” snarked Klinger. “Let’s go Bandage, grab the wagon!”

“S s sorry,” stammered Ace as he and Klinger rushed out to the wagon in front of the building.

Redheart got out their way and she trotted over to assess her patient. Berry looked in her normal state after a night of binge drinking. Her body was slumped and her pupils unfocused. She could smell a strong fruity smell coming from her that anypony could easily mistake for alcohol. Redheart knew better.

“Doctor Horse! We need fluids and insulin started,” she cried, waking the doctor up from his nap. “We have a pony in a hyperglycemic crisis.”

“Wha wha wha,” Doctor Horse muttered as he sat straight up. “What happened?”

“Bandage said the Q word.”

“Hi Doctor Fluffyhead,” Pinkie cried and waved.

“Hi Pinkie. Nurse Redheart, and Push could you get the supplies please. Tech... what’s her name?” The doctor whispered to Redheart before she could gallop to the supply closet.

“Candy Striper.”

“Tech Striper could you grab a bed and wheel it over here please?”

The ER bustled with activity as the medical staff swooped around and gave Berry the insulin and fluids she needed. Pinkie watched in excitement demanding everything be explained to her.

“Pinkie!” Nurse Redheart said forcefully but kindly. “I am glad you're interested in what’s going on with your friend but you’re getting under our hooves. Please go to the waiting room or perhaps call her family.”

Pinkie looked at her and said, “Okie dokie artichokie. I know she’s in good hooves.” Pinkie pronged out of the room and towards the waiting area.

Ivy finished the intravenous and opened up the valve to the bag of saline she hung. Then Redheart began measuring the amount of insulin needed based on her blood sugar and weight.The doctor continued to assess her, telling his results to Scribbles the ER clerk.

Berry was still groggy when the medic wagon brought in Lickity Split with a possible hoof fracture. Doctor Horse and Ivy were able to move the injured mare to another bed. Ace looked a little rattled still. Klinger had on his merciless face. He probably mocked the timid stallion the whole way back. Pegasi can be cheeky that way.

Redheart was about to reassure the rookie when she heard a retching sound behind her. Mr Stumbles. His body must have finally said enough to the alcohol. Red Heart grabbed an emesis collection bag and opened the curtain to his room. The sight that met her eyes caused her to drop the bag. Mr Stumbles was hunched over, sputtering, gagging and choking on copious amounts of blood. The viscous fluid soaked into the bed sheets and Mr Stumbles’ gown. He glanced up at Redheart with fear and pain in his eyes.

“D doctor, we need a crash cart ASAP!”

“What’s the problem, Nurse? I’m assessing a patient,” Doctor Horse grumbled as he lifted Lickity’s swollen leg.

“Mr Stumbles is ... in trouble,” Redheart said selectively using her words. She knew better than to scream across the ER that the patient is a bloody mess. She quickly thought through all the medical procedures she knew and started to clean Stumbles with a pad. She tried to see where exactly he was bleeding from.

“What sort of trouble?” the Doctor said with a sigh as he ambled to the patient’s bed. “Sweet Celestia! What happened?”

“I don’t know Doctor,” Redheart answered, keeping her voice down. “He just started retching and next thing I knew he was bleeding all over the place.”

Fresh blood began to pour from Mr Stumbles mouth soaking the towel Redheart was using to clean him. She could feel the sticky mess saturating her gloved hooves. “What do we do? It’s coming out too fast to stop.”

“Nurse Ivy grab some blood bags,” the Doctor ordered. He tried opening Stumble's mouth to look inside but was nearly coated when more blood gushed out. “Suction Red! I need suction!”

Redheart dropped her towel and found the suction tubing coiled up on the wall. She pressed the switch. The suction unit grumbled to life and she could hear the whistle as air began filing the tube. She inserted the tube into the patient’s mouth drawing out the deep scarlet fluid into the machine’s awaiting canister.

“It’s coming too fast! I need a vasoconstrictor,” the Doctor cried. “It looks like esophageal varices ruptured!”

Redheart continued to suction to help Mr Stumbles breath while Ivy looked for the proper medication. Doctor Horse looked for a tube to help the patient breath through his blood filled throat. Suddenly Redheart noticed Mr Stumbles lurch backward and cough. The small force was all it took and blood cascaded out of his mouth splattering the doctor’s clothes and mane.

“No no no,” Redheart cursed and furiously tried to suction harder. The suction unit groaned with the excess fluid but could not contain the deluge that poured from Mr Stumbles mouth. Mr Stumbles started to slip from consciousness. His coat looked dull and sheen-less. His eyes began to cloud over. The nurse watched uselessly as the life drained from Mr Stumbles and ran into her machine or into the bed. In less than three minutes Mr Stumbles was gone.

Redheart found a sheet and draped it over the body. She glanced at the clock. It read 6:30am. Her shift had ended a half an hour ago. The sun had already risen. She missed it. She looked around and noticed the day shift had arrived. They were tending to Lickity’s hoof and helping Berry as she regained consciousness. She looked at Ivy covered in sweat and blood stains. She looked at Candy who was punching out for the night. Then she looked at the doctor who had solemnly returned to his office to write the death up and call the family. She took a large breath and trotted to her locker room to change her scrubs.

Nurse Redheart trudged towards the glass doors of the ER entrance. She hated losing ponies, especially like that. For a small ER like theirs it didn’t happen that often. She stepped out into the brisk air and felt unnaturally cold. She looked about her, bewildered and noticed it was still dark. It was supposed to be after sunrise yet the sun remained hidden beneath the curve of the horizon.

Had she looked at the time wrong? Was Celestia in trouble? Redheart wondered what could have happened when the sun began its accent. The first beams of it shone over the top of a nearby hill changing the clouds to a brilliant yellow orange. The fluffy golden fleeces in the air were made more brilliant by the deep blue of the sky. She stared in amazement as a gleaming, golden cloud almost took the form of her own cutie mark. Redheart shook her head. Had she imagined it? She looked again but the cloud had dissolved from the quick moving stratospheric winds.
Maybe Celestia did give her these moments she mused. Then nearly giggled at the thought. She walked home letting the bright sun rays evaporate the trauma that she just witnessed. Soon sleep would claim her. Then she would rise and do it all over again. Hopefully tomorrow night won’t be as “quiet.”