> The Small of Life
>  by Jack Lindqvist
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Pinkie's Beautiful Day
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm awake. The bell beside me rang. I grabbed it. I pounded it. I pulled out a hammer and smashed it. Stupid clock. Now, I'd have to get a new clock. Clocks are funny though. I like clocks. I ran out of bed and into the bathroom. I didn't remember what ponies do in the bathroom, so I had to stop and think about it. That's right! I pulled out a tube of something.

"Whaaat's this?" I said, staring at the tube. "What could it be?" I licked it. "Maybe I shouldn't brush my teeth now, and maybe I shouldn't talk to the toothpaste. Meh." I shrugged, shoving the tube in my mouth, eating a mouthful. "Good," I said, and put it back. I ran down the stairs of the Sugar Cube Corner, and yelled, "Hellooo. Hellooo. Hellooo." Eyes turned toward me. I saw smiles. Those ponies are too easy, I thought, but I still like it. I ran out the door.

"Wait," Mrs. Cake said. "Aren't you working today?" 

"Work," I said. "That's a good idea. Why not?"

"I think you were supposed to work."

I ran back into the shop and over the counter, picking up baking supplies. "We need the works done."

"Yes," she said. "There's a lot to do."

"Oh, I saw it. I saw it. Don't worry, Ms. Cake. I have the situation under full and total control."

"Mrs.," she said. I saluted.

"I know," I said. "I know." I picked up some flour off the floor. "I put it where I could remember it. On the floor."

"On the floor?"

"Yes," I said, reaching out my hoof over the counter, extending it, and patting Mrs. Cake on the shoulder. "Yes, sir."

"Okay," she said. "I'll go to the market and buy some supplies."

"Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know. You have a lot of questions today, Pinkie."

"I guess it's just one of those days," I said, smiling. "Have fun and good times at the market." I waved as she was leaving. She was gone. "Wow, I really hope she has it good on the market." I stood there for a second, and then looked down on the flour. Some of it had spilled down on the floor. "I'm so clumsy," I said, and picked it up. "Okay, then we just have to do this."

I grabbed a bowl from somewhere and emptied the bag in the bowl. "Too much flour." I carefully poured flour back into the sack. The bowl got empty. "Too little flour." I poured it over into the bowl. "Yeah, that's about right." Now, I thought, I need egg. Somewhere there has to be egg. Egg is what I need. I need many egg, for many pie, that I make. I opened a door. "No egg?" 

It was the storage room. I saw zero egg in there. "Hm. There has to be somewhere around here. I need egg. Egg is good." I searched for egg, but no egg was found. I thought that I would never find an egg, one or several, or many. Egg eluded my grasp, evaded it, and ran away from it at full speed. Egg was out of the question. The eludening continued, and I walked out of the storage room.

"Egg," I said, straight into the restaurant.

Twilight came walking in. "Hello, Pinkie." She waved to me, but I was too concerned about egg. "How you doing?" she said, looking a little confused, but I didn't bother saying hello. I didn't want to forget about the egg-problem, egg-ellusion, eludingment. The eluding of the eggs from my grasp. I reached out and grabbed Twilight's face. "Okay," she said, smiling at me.

"Egg!" I ran out the store. 

Somewhere, somehow, I had to find it. I ran down to market. "Hello!" I said, looking for Mrs. Cake. "Where are the one that takes care of Sugar Cube Corner, where I work? Mrs. Cake. Ms. Cake. Where are you? I need to talk to you about ingredients." I didn't know where she was. I had no idea. I was looking, and I kept looking around the many stands, and many other things. Carriages and things were around the market. I looked around them, searchingly. 

"Okay," I said. "If you won't help me find egg, then surely, I can do it myself." I turned to a pony that was close to me. "You there."

"Meee?" the pony said, looking around. It was a child. She was female. I was looking for egg.

"Hello, my good friend. I want an egg. No, sorry. I want several eggs. Where are they?" The little filly shrugged at me. "Are you sure don't know where to find any egg, I mean eggs?" I said, leaning forward. 

"I don't know," she said. "Hey, Pinkie. Have you seen what happened this morning when the guy came and asked for you to sign that book?"

"Who's a guy?" I said.

"I don't know!" the filly yelled. "He was like old and stuff, and he had a little scraggly-looking beard of a thing on his face."

"Whaaat?" I yelled back. I just wanted eggs. 

The filly pointed to a stand that was close to us, all brown and robust, and full of color and life, since ponies walked around it, buying things, and that was nice, and it looked nice, and I was happy for the owner of the stand, but it made me want to buy something too. "Yeah," the filly said. "I don't know about nothing like that. I don't know why a stranger would come looking for you."

I held my breath, trying to calm myself down. I had gotten all worked up over eggs. Now, I wondered what this little feller-thing was talking about, this little cute child. I wanted to know. "I think I..." I collapsed on the ground from having held my stupid breath for too long. I stood up. "I think I want to know what you're talking about. Why would- like, he had the friendship book, and he wanted to, I don't know," I said.

"Yeah," the filly said. "He was like causing a ruckus going around town, with that beard, and all, and he looked weird, you know."

"Well, I don't know about you," I said, shaking my head, wobbling it back and forth, trying to make sense of the situation. "But I'll make sense of this little situation, but first, I need an egg."

"A single egg?" the child said, smiling at me.

"No, I need many egg," I said, staring around the place. The kid laughed. "Yeah," I said. "I still need eggs though."

The filly walked away.

"Okay." I searched around the whole place, spying with my eye where the egg could be. "I see now." I walked to a stand. "Hello," I said. 

"Hello there, Pinkie," a kindly old stallion said, picking his hat off and making a bow. "What can we do you for today, milady?"

"I see that you have eggs," I said. "I want to exchange my bits for the eggs that you have there? Will that be something you're willing to accept? I want to get back to work. I'm not sure I'm even allowed to be out here." I looked around. "I don't know where Mrs. Cake is, but I hope to find her soon. I want to talk to her so I can be sure, but now, I want to buy an egg."

"Egg?" he said, raising an eyebrow. "We have just want you need." He picked up a single egg and wrapped it up. I paid him. I turned around to walk away. I grasped my forehead.

"No, wait. That's not right. I- what? Oh my gosh." I turned around. "No, I want more than one egg." I felt fuzzy-headed. Maybe I was more fuzzy-headed than normal, but I thought, no, this is probably normal. I just need to focus, and take the egg-situation a little bit more seriously. After all, I needed eggs for my baking. It was an essential ingredient, and without eggs, I was unsure what to do. There is no easy replacing of an egg. The only thing to replace one kind of egg with is another kind of egg. Okay, so if I couldn't get the eggs from hens, I would need to get it from lizards, or bigger birds, but that whole idea made me uncomfortable. I wasn't sure I wanted egg, or eggs, if I had to get it from something that wasn't a pony. An ostrich? How many ostrich eggs does it take to make a pie? Like a half? I wasn't sure.

"Eggs!" he said, grinning. "Not egg, then, but eggs is what you wanted." He wrapped up some more eggs.

"Yes, sir," I said, saluting. "I need many eggs. You know how it is."

"I sure do," he said, wrapping them up. "Have a good day, missy!"

"You too," I said, as I was running away. "You too, my good sir. I hope you have a wonderful day." I ran away. 

Something hit me, or I hit it? I wasn't sure, but in the next moment, I was lying on the ground. "I have to make sure my eggs are safe!" I said, I think, somewhat too loudly. "My egg," I said, picking the last surviving egg off the ground. "No." I hugged it. "I'm not feeling very good," I said, standing up. "I think I need a break from work." 

"Your eggs?" Rainbow Dash said, shaking her head at me. "You have eggs?"

"I'm sorry," I said, standing up. "I didn't know it was you."

Rainbow Dash laughed. "Maybe you do need a break. Ponies don't lay eggs, Pinkie." Rainbow then spoke through her teeth. "As far as I know."

"No!" I said. "No more egg troubles. I just wanted to buy some eggs. That's all."

Rainbow laughed again. "Oh, I get it. I just thought, I don't know. That was funny. But I'll walk you back and buy some eggs for you."

"This chaotic egg-life is getting on my nerves," I said.

Rainbow grabbed me by the shoulder. "Are you feeling well, Pinkie?"

I shook my head. "No, I'm too stressed. I don't feel well at all, sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Let's buy eggs." She walked past me. "Now, where are the eggs?"

I turned around so that we both faced the same direction. "I don't know." I looked around and about. "Over there," I said, pointing.

Someone came running. "Huff. Huff!" he said.

"Okay," I said. "If you don't have eggs, then I hope we can talk later." 

He held up a book. "Ah!" I said. "You're the book-guy. Follow me to the egg-stand, and then we can swat two flies in one, um, swat. Is that the right expression, Rainbow?"

"Seriously," Rainbow said. "You need to relax. We'll get you some eggs." The guy held up the book. I looked at him.

"Yeah," I said. "I like expressions anyway. Expressions! Express! Do you want to be my friend?" I reached out my hoof to the stranger. He put a pen on it. It fell off. "Oh, how clumsy," I said. 

Rainbow Dash pushed me forward. "Oh, eggs," I said.

"Something's bothering you," Rainbow said. "No, something's bothering you. I know that look on your face."

I turned around to face her. "I'm sorry. I think looking for eggs somehow just really messed me up. I don't know. I don't know."

"No," Rainbow said. "No, it's something else. Call it my Rainbow-sense, but it's definitely something else." I wobbled my head around, turning it, and spinning it, a whole lap around. I spun it so that it turned all the way around.

"I don't know. I want an egg, I think."

Rainbow reached for my mane. "Let me check your hair, buddy." I didn't resist. "Oh my gosh," Rainbow said, drawing back. "You have spiders in your hair."

"No, I don't," I said, laughing at this strange accusation of Rainbow's. I didn't have any spiders. I would've seen it in the mirror when I, OOOH. I had spiders in my hair, didn't I? I put a hoof into my own mane and drew it out. The hoof was covered in very tiny spiders. "Oh, spiders," I said. 

"Yeah, I think you need a break from work," Rainbow said. "I think you have a pretty good explanation if you ask me. You literally have spiders in your hair. How does that even happen?"

"I was trying to ignore it," I said, licking my arm, some spiders getting on my tongue. I spit out. "This is extremely, extremely, extremely disturbing," I said, calmly.

"They're just spiders," Rainbow said. "You will need to get some help. But jeez, that is pretty crazy. Like, really crazy, but they're just spiders. I mean, stuff happens. You know, I once had a million tiny bugs crawling on my head when I woke up after a long Wonderbolts-exercise. Life is strange."  

"It sure is, and also, life is scary." I shook my hoof so that the spiders would fall off. "Spiders? Really?" I watched them crawl across the ground in different directions. "Maybe they're lice."

Rainbow nodded. "Okay, but those are some pretty spidery-looking lice. I wouldn't blame a single person for thinking those were spiders."

"So what do I do now?" I said, waving my arms around. "I don't know what to do. I need to solve the spider-problem. It's really making me feel a lot weird."

"I know," Rainbow said. "You and me both. Maybe Zecora? Or maybe, the spa? I don't know. The hair-salon? Maybe there's some ointment you can buy. Maybe cut the hair."

"Cut it?" I said. "Never." 

"Really? But there's spiders in it. I can see them crawling right now. That's pretty unusual, to see spiders in somepony's hair."

I grabbed my mane, squeezing it. "Okay, but I'm not cutting it."

"This day is shaping up to be pretty interesting," Rainbow said. The guy came walking.

The guy with the book smiled. He had crooked teeth. "Autograph maybe please?" he said.

"While we're at it," Rainbow said, "let's have a discussion about proper dental hygiene." 

I put my hoof across Rainbow's back. "Silly!" I wiggled my hoof at her. A pony walked by and bumped into us. "Watch yourself." The pony just kept walking. "I still love you though," I said, waving at the pony, who wasn't paying attention.

"What's silly?" Rainbow said.

"I totally forgot," I said, laughing. "I have spiders in my hair." I ran away as fast as I could, toward the forest, to deal with this issue. Having spiders in your hair, I realized, was not a joke. What if it came from some disease? Or what if it was from a health problem? I couldn't take the risk. I needed this problem dealt with faster than faster, and maybe even faster than that. I reached Zecora's cottage. It only took me a minute, on account of my super-speed, and fast reflexes. I knocked on the door.

"I will give you bits if you fix my spider problem," I said. "But you can do it for free if you want to, but don't feel any pressure. I spent a lot of money on eggs before. I broke the eggs. I shouldn't have done that." The door opened.

"Come in. I will see what's the thing that I can do for you," Zecora said. "It's win, or lose. The thing we have to think about is do, or don't, Pinkie." 

"Do or don't?"

"Find you a help for you troubles, or not find a help, and your troubles double."

I nudged her nose with my hoof. "Nice rhymes, Zecora. As you can see, I'm in quite a dump. If you don't help me, the dump will become even worse, and that's- and that's because I have spiders in my hair. Why? How does that even happen? I mean, come on, you know." I nudged her some more.

"Come in. Come in. Don't think about anything I can win, money, I don't need." I see. You don't need the money, eh? That's something interesting, I thought. Then, maybe I won't have to worry about the money lost on those stupid eggs as much, but I don't know. Maybe I will, and then again, maybe I won't. Only time will tell. I liked time. I thought that time could fix almost any issue, save the day. Time is wonderful. That's something to remember. It's important to face your fears, face time, face your troubles as time makes them change, and smile, I thought. Time is a great thing, because time makes things easier to solve. The more time goes, the more you learn, and the more you can do to fix things!

I smiled at Zecora. "You know, Zecora. I think you deserve a big hug." I tried hugging her.

"Not now, pink pony," she said. Here's the rhyme I thought. Here it comes. "We need no hugs." 

"C'mon," I said.

"What?"

"C'mon, rhyme." I stared at her with anticipation.

"I won't be phony."

"Ha!" I pointed. "Ha-haaa!" 

"Stupid pony," she said, putting me in my place.

"I'm a pony, sadly, with a big problem. I'm a little pony with a big problem." I bent my head down to show her. My head was filled with spiders, not lice, but spiders.

Zecora looked at it. "Hm. This is very strange. We'll see what we can do about this change."

"It's the worst change." I leaned in toward her ear. "I don't know if I ever told anyone about this, but I haaate spiders."

"You?" She laughed. "But you take everything with a smile, don't you?"

"Does it count as a rhyme if it's the same word twice?" I said.

She nodded. "Yes, why do you question my rhyming skills. I think we have to–"

"Cut off my frills? Please don't do that."

"Give you some pills," Zecora said.

I turned my head askance. "Against spiders? What for?"

"No, you are correct. The first thing was direct, not the second, which I said to misdirect."

"Whatever. Why are your rhymes getting so over-complicated? Help my hair." I reached my hair over to her. She shook her head.

"I don't know what to do. I will turn the question to you. What do you think you should do?"

I jittered and shook, and then I ran around the room, shaking spiders off in all directions. "I don't know. What is this even? Spiders." I laughed. "Spiders, really?" I ran out the door.

"Wait," Zecora said.

I ran back in the little house, filled with weird masks and tubes and stuff. "I don't know." I jumped up and down. "I'm really bothered by all this, you know. I'm sorry if I was being rude."

Zecora nodded. "And I'm sorry for trying to confuse you."

"Whyyy?" I said, bouncing around the room, still being careful to avoid her stuff, so I don't crush it.

"To see why you were acting so strange, and get a reaction that is true."

I collapsed to my back. "My reactions are still not getting better. I don't know what I'm saying. I want it to stop." I rolled around the floor. Spiders spread out on the floor.

"Don't do that," Zecora said.

I stood up. "Don't do that whooo?"

"You," she said, sighing. "Now, we need to help this mane of yours, or cut it off, which might be a better way, since I have never seen anything like this in my day."

"Why?" I said. "Why do ponies keep insisting on attacking my poor defenseless mane? Oh sure. It has done some bad things, but haven't we all, Zecora? Haven't we all?"

"Hm." Zecora went and grabbed something. "You're acting weird, and that's not something I would usually say about you, dear, dear, since you're always acting weird." 

"Oh," I said. I sank down on the ground. "Oh. I'm not working."

"Still, we need to find what's going on with this mane. We need to make the spiders, all of them, wane."

I wanted to hug her for helping me, but I could also understand that I was not working today. My ability to connect with other ponies and make them smile was turned off, and that had to do with this stupid spider-problem. It had to be, or was I just stupider now than yesterday? I felt very myself, but I tried ignoring the spiders, and every time I did, it just felt worse. I didn't even know what to think, or do, or anything. These spiders were all getting on my nerves, very much.

"These spiders are too much to handle. I want them gone," I said. "I'm sorry. I don't like spiders."

"Yes," she said. "I can tell. It's all not well, if you can't act swell like you do around other ponies."

"Is it really that baaad?" I said, flying up in the air. "No, I can act swell. Look at me, swelling." I plugged my nose and blew myself up into a giant balloon. "Look how swell I am." I exploded. "Oh." Spiders flew everywhere. "I should've known that would happen. I don't know." I started shaking a little bit, and getting nauseous, seeing all those spiders. It was getting into my head, my ability to think, and concentrate. That was not good. I knew that I wasn't stupid, at least not this stupid. I had to show Zecora that I could change, and be a better person right now, and if I couldn't, then what to do? I was a disappointment, and now, I was even skipping work. Everything felt, deflated, like an empty balloon.  

My hair fell down, and got straight, losing its curls. "Oh, I don't like this feeling," I said. "I'm bothered by the bad things around me in this particular thing-situation." 

Zecora gave something to me. "I don't know if this will work, but try and see what it does to your problem, as it were." 

"I will, Zecora, my good friend," I said, saluting, and then feeling stupid at once. "I don't know." I returned to the floor. "I like your floor."

"I don't like spiders on it, so don't stay too long to sit."

I walked out the door. "Oh, what is this?" I looked at it. It was a bottle of some kind. "She didn't say what to do with it, but I don't want to talk to her anymore. I don't want her to think I'm being stupid and mean to her." I tried to put it in my mane, but the bottle just fell out. "Oh, that's too bad." I picked it up in my mouth and carried it that way. 





I rubbed, scrubbing, and rubbing some more, trying to get all the spiders away, with the little bottle in hoof. This, I couldn't really believe. This, I think, was one of the strangest things that had ever happened to me. Spiders in your hair? Really? How straaange. How weeeird, and how bonker-y. 

"This is not supposed to happen." Someone knocked at my door. "Not now," I said. "Sorry, I'm busy. I don't want to talk. I can't be around other ponies right now."

The door went up. "Ah, I'm naked!" I yelled, crossing my legs. "Oh, no. Yes, right. I'm always naked." I jumped out of the tub. "You know, I'm feeling kind of stressed right now."

"I can see it on your hair." I recognized the voice. "Dear." Dear? Who would call me dear? I jumped out the window and down the street, running away. "Stupid spiders. There has to be a way to make them go away." I looked at my mane. There wasn't as many as before. Well, I guess it wasn't like they were stuck on my mane forever. They could let go. They're just spiders, after all. For sure, that's all that it is. They're tiny normal creatures that live in the forest. I ran to Fluttershy's cottage and knocked. There were plenty of birdhouses and stuff outside, and I looked around. This place would always calm me down, but for some reason, now it's giving me a headache. How come, I thought. How come this be, in all the world, and with all the things that are happening. 

I knocked carefully. The door went up. "Hello," Fluttershy said.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to do. I need help. There are spiders in my hair." Fluttershy looked at me. Then she glared at me.

"Okay? So? I could help you." She stuck her nose into my hair. "Come out, little spider." A bunch of spiders came out and walked into her house. "There. Now, Pinkie. We need to be nice to those spiders. They need a home–"

"Pinkie- I mean Fluttershy," I said, putting an arm around her neck. "I have a secret. Or I don't know. I think I didn't even know this myself, but I really don't like spiders. Whatever, I mean, c'mon, they're just spiders, right? I mean, I don't know. Sorry for acting weird. I will go now." I turned to run away.

"Wait," Fluttershy said. "Your hair."

"What's with my hair?" I laughed. "Yeah, so? Sometimes, I like having straight hair. You know, sometimes I straighten it because I want it to be straight. I could change any time I want to."

"Just, just come inside," Fluttershy said, holding open the door. "Like, you're being a little crazy, Pinkie. I think you need to talk to a friend, and I'm here for you, so please come inside." I ran in through the door. "Careful," she said. She closed it.

"Okay, you want tea?" I said, not Fluttershy.

Fluttershy smiled a little. "Please. Pinkie. We're not being calm here. I don't want tea. I want to talk."

"I talk can," I said, sitting down. The floor was covered with spiders. "Those are some cute spiders," I said.

"You know," she said. "You can just be honest about your emotions. It's not good if you keep everything bottled in."

"Gotta go now," I said, running toward the door.

"No," Fluttershy said. "Please stay."

"Okay, I stay." I sat down on her green couch. "I like where I'm sitting right now."

Fluttershy laughed. I picked up a tiny pump. "Look," I said. I pumped a few times, air into my hair. Then my hair deflated. "That is too bad," I said, laying the pump down. 

"Yeah," she said. "But if you really are scared of spiders, then I can of course understand not wanting them in your hair."

"Who wants spiders in her hair?" I yelled.

Fluttershy nodded. "Okay."

"Yes." I just sat there. "I don't know. I think I need a psychologist."

"Maybe not," Fluttershy said. "We can talk."

"I don't know," I said. I saw a spider on the floor and then crawled back higher up on the couch. "I've never had this much trouble with spiders before, I don't think. No, I don't think so. Have I?"

"I think you've been around spiders before," Flutters said. "And it hasn't been an issue, but maybe you got traumatized, specifically because they were in your hair."

"Right!" I said. "I don't know. Like, this is really bothering me for some reason. I don't even know."

Fluttershy sat down beside me and patted me on the back. "That's okay. We can talk about it, because that's what friends are for."

The air returned to my hair. "I feel better now," I said. "You know, this whole spider-thing has gotten way out of hoof. I mean, I know it's not normal to have spiders in your hair, but I really don't like how it made me act around my friends."

"I see," Flutters said. "So what to do about that?"

"I don't know," I said. "Maybe I should ask Twilight. I mean, she's smart and stuff, right? She should know what I should do, I think. Shouldn't she?"

Fluttershy nodded. "You could always ask Twilight."

"I don't know though," I said, grasping my face with my hooves. "This whole thing is way confusing. Like, okay, sure, spiders in your hair is crazy, but I feel like I really lost myself there."

"Your hair got deflated," Flutters said. "That only tends to happen when you're depressed."

"But I wasn't even depressed," I said. "I just felt, weird. I don't know. Maybe I'm thinking about it too much. Like, having spiders in your hair, I mean, is pretty freaky. It is. But I don't like hurting people. Zecora thought I did. Or did she? I don't know. I'm not really sure. I don't know what's going on." I started breathing a little heavy. "I feel like I woke up wrong today. Maybe I shouldn't have eaten all that toothpaste."  

Fluttershy shook her head. "It's probably not the toothpaste."

"Well, I don't know," I said. "Having spiders in your hair is pretty bonkers."

"I wonder how it happened," Flutters said. "But you're in here right now, with the spiders, so at least you're facing your fears."

"No," I said, climbing further up on the couch. "I had just totally forgotten they were there." I looked down. I saw the spiders. They looked evil. The more I looked at them, the more I felt evil. "I don't want to be evil," I said.

"Having spiders in your hair, if it happens out of nowhere, and is not of your own free will seems pretty weird, and crazy, yeah," Flutters said. "I don't really know what to say about that. I mean, I think you should just take a break from work."

"But I love work!"

"Okay, then don't."

I sank down on the couch. "Maybe I should though. Oh, I don't know. I don't know what I should do."

"Yes," she said. "I think I understand that. So you need to focus a little bit and maybe talk to Twilight. She could help you, maybe."

"Hm," I said. "Maybe." I walked to Flutters' door. "Thank you for talking me out of my weird mood. I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I need to go," I said, walking out the door.





I knocked on Twilight's door. "Hello Twilight, my old friend." I sang. "I came to meet you again." I knocked once. "Because I'm scared that I'm losing my mind, because of spideeers. Yeah-yeah. Because of spideeers!" I knocked in rhythm to the singing. "Hello Twilight. I love you. You are one of my bestest friends, so I hope you won't be angry. No. No-no-no. I hope you won't be angryyy. I hope, when I spill spiders on your carpet, and in your cauldron, and on your masks." The door opened up.

"Pinkie, what the heck are you doing?" Twilight said, looking angry.

I hung my head. "I'm sorry. I don't feel too good."

"Come inside." She let me in.

"Yeah," I said. "Have you ever had spiders in your hair?"

Twilight lifted one of my curls with her magic. "I don't see any spiders."

"There was many spiders. But Fluttershy helped me."

"Okay." Twilight walked further inside. "What's the problem? I'm a little busy."

I turned around. "I should just leave."

"No, you stay," Twilight said, grabbing me around my back. "Let's talk."

"I just close my eyes," I said. "And every time I do, I see a spider. Am I going crazy?" I gasped. "Maybe I am. Maybe there aren't even any spiders. Maybe it's just my imagination."

"Settle," Twilight said. "I'll find you a place to sit." We turned into a room with two chairs, and a table. Twilight sat down. "Now, please, tell me everything that happened," she said, looking at me with concern on her little face. Oh, Twilight. I don't deserve a friend like you, I thought.

I planted myself on the comfy little chair. "This is comfy."

"Okay. But now, tell me everything." And I did.

I told her about the eggs, spiders, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Zecora's comment, and everything. 

Twilight nodded. "Is that everything?"

"Sure is."

Twilight shook her head. "I'm pretty sure you're not imagining things, unless everyone has been lying to you, and that seems unlikely."

"Unlikely?" I was unsure. "I don't know about that. What's unlikely?"

"Okay," she said. "So maybe Zecora's not used to being around you, but this isn't the first time you've gone crazy. I remembered when Fluttershy did acapella."

"Oh, yeah. I did go pretty crazy there, didn't I?" I said, remembering the memories. "But still, there must be something we can do about the situation."

"Is there a situation?" Twilight said. "You seem fine now, but you need to face your fears. I think that's the gist of it. It's pretty obvious to me at least. Sometimes, you just have to look at what you're afraid of and face it."

"I like you, Twilight, and I think that's good advice." I put a hoof in my mouth, slurping on it. "I think I'm thirsty."

"There's water somewhere," Twilight said. Someone knocked on the door. "Okay, I think it's back to work for me."

"Where are you?" someone shouted from the other side.

Twilight looked at me. "I'm sorry, Pinkie." She ran out the door.

"Boy, I sure am happy I'm not a princess," I said. I sat there in quietude. "Hm." I looked around. "This sure is a nice room." I remembered the spiders. A shudder came over my body. "That's not good." I stood up. "What am I going to do now?" I walked out the room. Twilight was with someone. I didn't even know who it was. 

I ran through the corridor and out the door to the castle. "What a good day," I said. Then, a spider came up in my imagination. "Oh," I said, and I whimpered, but not on purpose. I walked down the road of our little town. Zecora came walking. I turned away and walked the other direction.

"Wait," Zecora said.

"Okay." I turned around. "I don't know what's happening. But I know one thing for sure, and that's that I don't like hurting my friends." I was determined on that point. I really didn't like doing it, really not. That was a fact, for sure. I didn't want to hurt anyone. I wanted everyone to be happy. I'm almost always happy, I thought. Other ponies deserve the same, for sure. 

Zecora came up to me. "How is it going? I hope I'm not too late."

"What's wrong with me?" I said.

"I wanted to apologize," she said. "I had something happen when you were away."

"What?" I said. "Something fishy?"

Zecora held up a wet lump, that was a package. "I thought I didn't know what to do, and when I met you, everything got screwed."

"You know, I feel pretty screwed myself. I just want to face my fears now, no matter what happens. And I will." 

"Still," Zecora said. "You spread spiders everywhere. I don't know. I look. I don't know where. Spiders are all over. I can't go near."

"Fluttershy," I said, a little drowsy. "Fluttershy can help you. They're only spiders. I mean, come on." A spider flashed before my face, in my memory. "Ah!" I jumped up in the air. "I don't know what's wrong with me, but I do know this, Zecora. I'm going to find out." I walked away from the conversation.

"Don't you want to talk some more?" Zecora said. "We haven't settled the score."

"There is no score. It's okay. It was never about you," I yelled, turning my head around as I was running. "You didn't do it. It was all me. It was my fear of spiders that made my mane sink down, and lose its plushy. And I will fix it." I kept running forward. "I will fix it. I know I will." I closed my eyes for a second, and then, remembering what had happened with Rainbow Dash, opened them again. I crashed into another person. Bad luck!

I sighed and gasped for air. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not really myself today, sir." The guy I had crashed into, get this, was the same guy that I had met before, with the book. I recognized him. "Hey, you're the guy with teeth- um, I mean, the big beautiful smile, in which there are teeth, that are also pretty, and- and–"

"Will you just sign my book?" he said.

"Yeah, but I don't know why my signature is worth so much, and I'm not even sure. I mean, I haven't signated, signed? Sorry, signed many things, and I'm not sure if I even really have a signature, so you know."

"That's okay," he said, smiling. Applejack came running.

I got really happy, seeing her. "I haven't seen you today. You're one of the best friends a pony can have, and today, I've learned that being honest with yourself is one of the most important things you can do." Applejack lassoed the pony in question, that had wanted my autograph.

"Pinkie, I love you, and you're cute and stuff, but I'm really busy," Applejack said. "Let's come along now. Don't be getting all pushy, mister." She pulled the guy closer. "I know who you are now, m'friend." 

"Great," he said. Applejack pulled and he followed with her.

Okay, now, this was interesting. I followed with them. "What's happening, Applejack? What's the deal with lassoing this guy? Like, is he an evil villain? Are we on an adventure together?"

Applejack turned to me. "This is between us two. You don't need to get involved, Pinkie, in all this. My business." She pulled at the rope, as if she was pulling on an animal.

"I see you're busy," I said.

"I don't know what to do," she said. "Every time I try to concentrate, like, I think I need to go get Twilight, and she can help me handling this business." Applejack groaned. "This whole thing has been a big waste o' my time." 

"I see, but Twilight is busy. She was talking to someone. I couldn't tell." Applejack just ran past me and let go of the guy that she had lassoed. I tried waving to her but she wasn't looking. I turned to see what the guy was up to, but the moment I did, he was gone. "Strange. Usually, I feel like these things end with an explanation," I said. "But that's for later. I go now." I walked away. "I need to get to- I don't even remember. Do I still work at the Sugar Cube Corner? Yes, I didn't get fired, I hope."

I walked down the road to my destination, which was now the Sugar Cube Corner. Weird things happen, I thought. That's part of life. It has to be, and otherwise, I wasn't even sure what to make of it all. "Hey," I said. A pony bumped into me. I turned around. "Hey, I want you to be careful please, because being bumped into can be uncomfortable and stuff, and sometimes, it kind of hurts, but just a little, and have a lovely day."

The pony turned around. Its eyes flashed green. It scurried off in the other direction from where I was. "Okay, do I?" I looked around. "I'm losing my job for sure. Why is this day so weird? All I wanted to do was buy some eggs." I ran after the pony. "Changeling," I said, pointing, but there was no one else around. "I'm sure of it. Come here you," I said. The pony turned around, staying her ground. I turned around and ran the other direction. "Never mind. I'm sorry." I stopped.  

"Hey, you," the pony said, the mare.

"Okay," I said. I slowly spun back toward this strange strangeling changeling pony. "What do you want?" I struck me that the pony maybe could be a nice changeling. One of Thorax's, maybe? But Applejack had caught a pony, and, I, um, maybe I was putting things together in my head to quickly. But this pony had been rude, because she didn't even stay to listen when I tried to tell her that I thought she was being rude, twice. 

The mare spoke. She was violet. "I want justice. I want everyone to know the truth." She ran away toward Twilight's castle. I followed her on instinct, mostly wanting to know what was going on, but also, if this pony was dangerous, then I had to help Applejack and Twilight. It was the right thing to do. 

The strange mare ran into the castle and I followed. "Hey!" I said. I came inside. I was met with three Applejacks and one Twilight. "Whaaat?" I said. Twilight shot a beam on one of them, and it turned into a green changeling, like those of Thorax. "Hello," I said, waving.

"I'm sorry," he said, with his male voice. "I didn't think this would happen."

I laughed. "Wow. You and me both." All eyes turned toward me. "Hello," I said, again.

"Okay, so this is mighty weird," one of the Applejacks said.

"Not for long," Twilight said. She fired the beam at another Applejack, but she remained as apple-y as she had ever been, meaning, I thought, that she was the real Applejack. 

Twilight then shot the beam at me. I closed my eyes. Nothing happened. "You think I was a changeling?" I said, shaking my head. "Really?"

"No, this is a really crazy changeling," the real Applejack said.

Twilight pointed at the other Applejack. "Then, by process of elimination, it must be you." The other Applejack crossed her legs in a playful maneuver.

"Wow," I said.

"I guess it must be me. Then again." The other Applejack pointed to the real Applejack. "She's getting away."

Twilight turned to her. "Yeah, but it still has to be you." She shot her beam, but nothing happened. "What the heck?" Twilight said. "What's going on here?" The other Applejack, who was also real, because the beam didn't turn her into a changeling, ran out the door, after the first Applejack. I walked closer to them. The green guy-changeling was still standing around there in the room next to Twilight.

"Twilight," I said. "Can you explain what's going on in a way that I can understand, buddy?" I hugged her. She hugged back. 

"I don't know. She came in, and she said she wanted help with a changeling, but the thing is, that spell always works, so I don't know what kind of switch-up happened there, but it has to be something that went wrong." Twilight turned to the green changeling standing next to us. "And who are you?" He grinned and scratched the back of his head.

"It's sort of hard to explain."

Twilight glared at him. "I'm all ears."

"Okay," he said. A dart hit his neck. He fell down on the floor.

"Okay," I said.

"Okay?" Twilight shook her head at me and bent down toward him. "Yeah, he's still alive. But this is getting really serious now. Pinkie, I need your help."

"Anytime," I said. "Anytime anywhere, Twilight."  

"Okay, well, obviously, we need to figure out what's going on." I nodded, agreeing with her. When ponies are hit with unconscious-darts, you know it has gone too far, way too far. 

"Maybe we could look on Applejack's farm," I said. "I'm sure there might be some good old clues. We could be detectives again."

Twilight smiled faintly. "This is more serious than that. We need to be serious."

"Okay." I understood what she was saying. "What are we going to do?"

"I mean, I think I agree with your idea," Twilight said. "Let's look at the farm. C'mon." She nudged me with her hoof to make me move, and I did, and we ran, and we were gone.





"We have arrived the farm!"

Twilight glared. "What a strange thing to say, Pinkie. Now, come on." Twilight got lost somewhere. She ran away from me, and I didn't know where she went, because I wasn't really paying attention.

"Where are you, Twilight?" I looked around. I hadn't really been paying attention, again. I didn't know what to do, but my spider anxiety seemed to have faded a little bit. It was still there though. The more I thought about it, the weirder it made me feel in my tummy. Spiders, I thought. Those are some scary crawlies, but I know they don't mean it. They're just living their lives. I wonder what they were doing in my hair.

"Pinkie," Twilight said. It came from inside the barn. So there was where she disappeared to, huh? I walked inside. All I saw was Applejack in there.

"Okay, so I'm confused." I looked around. I looked behind me. I looked back. She was gone. "Twilight!" I said, running in. "Twilight, where are you?" The place was empty. "Okay, first the spiders and now this?" I turned around. Twilight was standing there.

"Where did you go, Pinkie? You can't just disappear like that."

I pointed to behind me. "Bu- but I, and the, um, what?"

"I looked inside the house," Twilight said. "No Applejack. This is really starting to worry me."

"Okay. Calm down." I put my hoof into her mouth. "I saw you inside the barn. For sure. It was either real you, and you are fake Twilight, or you are real Twilight, and that was a fake." Twilight walked past me.

"Let me see," she said. I faced the same direction, into the barn, as she was walking inside. 

Twilight scanned the place with her eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Way sure." I was unsure what to believe. Was this really Twilight? Was it fake Twilight? Had it always been fake Twilight, since the castle? Who was this? What was she doing? I was so confused that I didn't know what to do.

Twilight looked at me. "Pinkie." She shot another beam at me.

"Darn it, Twilight. I'm still me. Seriously? Ugh, let's just go." I went out the barn.

She followed me out. "Sorry. I'm just being a little paranoid, I guess."

"Twilight, you know me. Look into my eyes." I stared at her, making eye-contact.

"Yeah, I know," she said. "But this changeling has tricked me before. I have no idea what's going on."

"Who is it?"

Twilight groaned. "It's a long story. I don't even- I don't even know. But it's not a nice person. He tricked Applejack into signing some kind of contract."

I nudged Twilight. "Never sign any contract from a stranger. That's what my granny always said. Granny Pie."

"Was that really what you called her?"

"Oh, sure. Why not?"

"Like, whatever. Doesn't she have a real name?" Twilight shook her head. "Sorry, I don't mean to be rude."

"No, that's okay," I said, bouncing. "I don't know her name. I always only knew granny Pie. I'm sure she had a name. It's just easier to remember when you have a big family, I think." We reached Applejack's house.

"Let's search it more thoroughly," Twilight said. "I'll take downstairs, maybe, and you take upstairs."

"Yes, sir Twilight," I said, and hurried toward the stairs. "This is important," I said to myself. I reached upstairs. The familiar green walls gave me comfort. "Good house." I drew my hoof against the wall. "I like this house." I felt a little uncomfy. "Something is off." I walked into Applejack's room. I knew where it was, since I think I had a good memory, maybe, I think. I was sure it was Applejack's room, but then I was unsure. "No." I walked out the door. "No." I walked back in. I looked at the bed. Apple Bloom was sleeping it, in the middle of the day? I sneaked, going backward, walking out the room.  

Then I closed the door. "Hm." I walked back inside. The bed was empty. "Okay. Someone or something is going on here." I closed the door again, and then I reopened it. The bed was still empty. I gasped, and then I ran all the way down the stairs. "Twilight, I saw it. I saw him, her, it? I saw it!" 

"Where?"

"In Apple Bloom's bed, but it's gone now."

"Who?"

"The changeling. That's kind of who."

"Kind of?" 

"Just come on." I pulled her with me and ran up the stairs. We reached the door. Twilight pulled it open and went in there.

Twilight searched the place. "Are you sure, Pinkie?"

"If you shoot me with the beam again, then that will be really annoying, buddy?" I crossed my arms. "No, I'm Pinkie. Whatever. You don't believe me?"

"No, okay," Twilight said. "I just think this whole thing is, weird. Weird? Yes, I think it's very weird."

"Me too," I said. Twilight shot the beam at me. "Whatever." I jumped out the window and then into the barn.

"Applejack," I said, pointing. I ran at her and grabbed her. "You are Applejack. Admit it."

"Guilty as charged," she said, pushing me off. "What's gotten into you, Pinkie?"

"Well, you do have the authentically authentic southern accent," I said, squeezing her face. "Are you really Applejack?"

"How many times do I have to go through this with ponies? Yes." She pushed me away. "I'm looking for the changeling." 

"Sure you are," I said. Twilight came running.

I looked to her. "Twilight. Don't shoot me. I'm the real Pinkie. Shoot her." Applejack removed her hat and put it over her face.

"Oh, whatevs." I grabbed the hat from her. Twilight shot the beam, but the pony in question remained Applejack. 

Twilight walked up to us. "Okay, this is honestly really starting to weird me out. What's going on here? Did you run away from the castle, or was it the other one?"

"We both ran away," Applejack said, angrily. "You don't understand."

"I sure don't," Twilight said. "Please, explain, because I'm going crazy here."

Applejack sat down on the ground. "Okay, listen. This changeling has been chasing me all the way over from Apple-land." 

"Isn't that your yard?" I said.

"His name is–" Applejack collapsed on the floor. A dart was in her neck.

We turned around. Twilight was standing in the opening of the barn. "Sorry," she said, "but I had to do it." I ran up to her and grabbed her.

"Stupid changeling." Twilight wrestled me.

"No, let go." 

"Never," I said.

Twilight pushed me away. "No, Pinkie. I'm the real Twilight."

"The real Twilight would never shoot darts on Applejack."

Twilight sighed. "Oh, no!" I turned around to look where she was looking. The other Twilight, the one that had been talking to the passed-out Applejack, was gone.

"Not good," I said.

Twilight shot a beam of light at me. I flew up in the air and yelled, "Stop doing that."

"I only did it the one time," Twilight said.

"How do I know you're the real Twilight? What if the other one's the real Twilight?"

Twilight grabbed me. "Pinkie. We've known each other for years. Look into my eyes. I'm real. I'm the real Twilight."

A fuse went off in my head. "Whaaat?" I flew up in the air and ran out the door as fast as I could. "No, you're not." I got into the apple-part of the apple farm, with all the trees. I gasped for air. "Who? Where?" I jumped back and forth from place to place. I heard something, someone, but from where?

"I know you're there," I said. "But wheeere?" I didn't know. I couldn't know. I had no idea where to look, where it was. I didn't know.

A tree rustled. I went up and kicked the tree. Some apples fell down. A pony fell down. It was Apple Bloom. She screamed and ran away from me. "Wait," I said, and she did. "Where have you been? I saw you. Did you run away?"

"I've been hiding," she said. I thought that most assuredly, this couldn't be another changeling. That would be too weird, and yet, somehow, I thought that it could be. "Where were you, say, five to ten minutes ago?" I said.

Apple Bloom got wide-eyed. "Not you too."

"Okay, calm down. Everything's going to be all right." She ran and I took chase. "Please, Apple Bloom. I need to know what's going on. Everything is crazy right now. This is making spiders seem like a simple stupid thing that you don't have to worry about." Apple Bloom screeched to a halt and stopped.

"Like, everyone been asking me, are you the real Apple Bloom? Are you not? I am Apple Bloom. You know me. I'm Apple Bloom." She jumped up and down in her anger.

"Okay, but someone here isn't who they really are, and I'm going to find out."

Apple Bloom said, "Don't go back there. You don't know what I've seen."

"Then tell me, what you have seen, please, Apple Bloom." I hugged her. "I need to know. Why, I'm probably more confused than you are, if- if that's even possible."

"Really?" she said.

"Most definitely really."

"Okay, but you can't tell anyone."

I shook my head. "I can't do that if I don't even know what you will say, but I guess I must. I have to, for you, Apple Bloom."

She took a deep breath. "You were there and you told me to go to the barn, and then Applejack was there, but when I tried talking to her she jumped out the window and I don't know what to do. And then I went back into the house, but I didn't go back to bed."

"Okay, okay," I said, gesturing for her to stop talking, so I could talk. "Look, Apple Bloom. I don't know what's going on. I'm really sorry. This is crazy, but I don't know what happened, and I saw you in bed, but then you were gone."

"When did you see me in bed?" she said.

"Just a short while, just a- a ten minutes ago? I think so."

She squinted in confusion. "Was I in bed ten minutes ago?"

"You weren't? Was that the changeling?"

"No, I was in bed like recently, but not ten minutes ago, or was I?" She looked to be thinking. "I don't know about any of this."

"Still," I said. I looked around. It was still daylight of course, and the trees were red and beautiful with apples, and I wondered in what other trees someone could be hiding, and maybe I should keep looking. "I don't know if the guy's still hiding around here. Gal? Applejack said it was a guy, but was that the real Applejack even?" I turned to Apple Bloom. She shrugged. 

"Did you see him?" I said.

"No, I only saw different ponies running around and coming and going and disappearing, but why would they do that? Are all them changelings, or is there something I'm missing?" Apple Bloom walked past me toward the barn, that was not too far away.

She looked at me, like she was scared. "Maybe we could go together," she said. "I don't want to go back there alone."

"Yeah," I said. We ran down the farm and back to the barn. I sneaked up to the door. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Shh," I said to her. "There are poison darts flying around. We'd better be super careful."

I plugged open the door with my hooves, very slowly, but then it was empty. Even the unconscious Applejack was completely gone. "Huungh," I said.

"What the tarnation is- what?" Apple Bloom said. "Now, someone was here?"

"They hit Applejack with a dart." She looked angry. I then said, "I don't know. Someone was here." She looked more angry. "I'm going in, and maybe, okay, you come with me." We both sneaked inside. "No one?"

Apple Bloom kicked some hay around. "No one. Okay, but then we're safe, I guess."

"You know what, Apple Bloom? I certainly hope so. I certainly hope so." I leaned out the barn, searching around, making my memory of the place more clear, so I could remember how it looked later. I had my head outside, and my body was inside the barn. "Maybe." A spider came crawling on the floor. Without thinking even, I ran the other direction and jumped out the window. Then I jumped back in.

"Sorry, Apple Bloom."

"Okaaay," Apple Bloom said, backing out of the barn, and then scurrying off. 

I sighed and collapsed on the floor again. "She thinks I'm a changeling, and she's right to think it. I'm acting stupid. What's wrong with me?" The spider crawled into the barn and closer to me. "Ah, get away."

"I'm sssorry," the spider said.

"What? You can talk? Spiders can't talk. Go away." I was about to jump out the window again. "Wait a minute. You're a changeling."

"Nnno," the spider wheezed.

"Sure you are. You're just trying to scare me. Well, I'm not scared. I'm facing my fears. You don't scare me, changeling."

"Sss," the spider said. It crawled closer to me. 

I jumped up on a big bundle of hay. "Don't touch me though."

"Sssorry," the spider said.

"You want me to just believe that a talking spider comes out of nowhere, just as we have a changeling running around. I'm not that stupid, you stupid spider." I scrunched together on the hay, trying not to look at it.

"The captain is expecting you."

"What captain? No, I know what this is. You're just trying to distract me."

"Sssorry," the spider said.

"Sorry for what?"

"Ssscaring you."

I laughed. "You're not scary. You're just a spider."

"Thossse spiders were Captain Spider's children. He wantsss them back," the spider said, quietly. "He is expecting you. If not, Captain Spider will commme to Ponyville, little pony."

"Like, seriously? There's a captain-spider?"

"Lllike ssseriously."

I laughed, a little louder. "That's stupid. You're stupid. A spider can't be a captain." The spider crawled closer. I jumped off the hay. "What do you want?"

The spider reached behind its back and picked out an over-sized map. "Heeere." It reached the map to me. I grabbed it, without looking at the spider.

"It's a treasure map."

"Fear Captain Spider." The spider crawled away toward the door. I ran after it.

"How can a captain be a spider? I mean, I mean, how can a spider be a captain?"

"Sss." The spider crawled down a hole in the ground and disappeared.

"I'm used to this kind of stuff," I told myself. "I think. Am I?"

Magic appeared around the doors of the barn, and Twilight walked in with Applejack by her side.

I hurried up to them. "Friends," I said. I stopped. "Friends? Friends!" I glared at them. Applejack sat down in front of me.

"It's over," Twilight said.

"How do I know one of you isn't just a changeling, or both? I think both." I pointed at them, accusingly. "I don't know about any of this stuff. Who are you guys? Are you my friends? I don't even know."

"We're your friends," Applejack said. "For hay's sake."

I nodded. "That does sound like something Applejack would say, but then again, I'm not so sure." I grabbed her face and tried to rip it. Applejack punched me. I embraced her.

"Only the real Applejack would react like that."

"Okay," Applejack said. "How do we know you're not a changeling?"

"I love you," I said.

Applejack nodded. "Okay then."

"But seriously, where have you been?" I looked back and forth between them, expecting answers, or some kind of explanation at least. Something!

Twilight sighed. "I don't know, really. We were at the house, and then, we were suddenly at the barn. We were hit by these stupid darts." She levitated some darts in front of me. 

"That's the one you hit Applejack with," I said

Twilight dropped them. "You think I would ever do that?"

"I don't really think," I said. "I'm just happy to see you. You're beautiful, both of you."

Twilight smiled. "Okay, but you saw someone else get hit by a dart? That for sure wasn't me who did it."

I hugged her. "I know." Twilight hugged back.

Applejack said, "Well, at least we got rid of that phony-baloney contract. No Apple-land anymore. No, siree." 

"What's an Apple-land?" I let go of Twilight. "And where have you been anyway?"

"Cross my heart, it's the dumbest thing that has ever happened to me," Applejack said. "I don't even want to talk about it."

"Okay." I shrugged, almost forgetting about it in the next moment, but the memory still lingered around. Apple-land. Apple-land. What's an Apple-land? Oh, whatever.

"I'm just happy this day is over and done," Applejack said.

"Not for me," I said. "It's just beginning." I ran out the door, remembering work, and that I hadn't done work for the last five to six hours, and now, I was either getting fired, or forgiven, and I didn't know which, and I wanted an explanation, and fast, and I wanted it, really, really much, and I would get it. I entered the Sugar Cube Corner.

"Okay," I said. "There's seriously a good explanation. I promise you. There's seriously a good explanation. I pinkie-promise." I held up a hoof. The place was empty. "Note to self. Pay attention, and then do your speech." I nodded. "Okay, Pinkie." I shook my own hoof. "Good Pinkie. Now, where to find- find eggs?" Seriously? This had not been a normal day, I was pretty sure. Either that, or something was wrong with me. Anyway, whatever, I thought. Eggs then, or egg? No, eggs. No more egg for me. I have bad memories around egg, so it's eggs, not egg. I walked up behind the desk of the cafeteria. 

"Or, maybe I could just stand here, rather than running out and being stupid." I went to the storage room. "New eggs? Did she buy it?" There were no eggs, or egg, or anything like that. "Okay." I walked back to the front of the store. "I'm bored."

What I didn't realize then was that the day had just begun, and I'm not talking about work. I'm talking about spiders and eggs, and pirates, but that's another story, I guess. I'm sorry if I take too long to get to the point, but the point is that the day would get even crazier, but I guess that's obvious. Now, I think it's Rainbow's turn to write in this book. 





Pinkie stood aside from the book, and Rainbow flew past her, laughing. "Okay, that was weird."

"Don't laugh at her," Rarity said. "Why, she can't help it if there's spiders in her hair."

"I've had spiders, no, bugs in my hair many times," Rainbow said, shuffling around in the air. They were in Twilight's castle, in the map room. Twilight stood lodged in the middle, with the other characters spread out far and wide across the room. "I'm just saying. Sorry, Pinkie. I mean, but even when you're trying to be serious, you make me laugh."

"Okay," Pinkie said. "I think you're funny too."

"I'm not getting all of this," Spike said, furiously writing.

Twilight pushed her hoof in front of his face. "No, don't write down all of it." She grabbed the book with her magic. "Only the important parts. It's what happened during the day that's important."

"Why?" he said.

She lifted the book to eye-level and gave it back to him. "I'm a little stressed out." She sat down on the floor. "Can everyone listen for a moment? Sorry, but I need your attention." All faces turned to her. 

She rolled her eyes. "This wouldn't have happened if- oh, never mind." She stood up. "Esceforn," she said.

Applejack nodded. "Yup."

Fluttershy fluttered across the map table and over to Twilight. "Where could he be?"

"In this room," Twilight said.

"But why?"

Twilight looked at Fluttershy and sighed a deep morose sigh, of grief and despair. "I don't really know," she said. "But we have gone through the situation. There are holes in our stories. Something about it doesn't seem right, and we have to figure out what it is."

"Then it's my turn?" Rainbow Dash said, landing beside Twilight. "My turn to tell my epic story, about what happened when the evil Spitfire tried to sue the only other gym in town." Rainbow flapped her arms around.  

Pinkie laughed. "I want to hear that story." 

"Okay," Twilight said, sitting down on the floor again. "It's innocent until proven guilty."

"So follow along on the epic tale," Rainbow said, swerving her arms around, making epic gestures.

The small of life is the small of times in the small of ways in the small of days. This is the small of life, and the smallest of them. This is the right life. It's the time for Rainbow to shine, now. Have you heard her story? You will like it.
> At the Gym
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

My awesome day began with an awesome visit to the gym.





Spike said, "Shouldn't you start right when you wake up?"

"That is when I wake."





That's when I always wake up. I love the gym. I was sleeping on the stairs to the gym, waiting for it to open.





Pinkie came up from behind Rainbow Dash and lay a hoof on her. "Haha. That's funny. You're a funny, guy, Rainbow Dash. But that's not what happened. What really happened?"

"Why do I feel like you're always making a reference?" Rainbow said.

"I don't know. You're crazy."

"But that really is what happened." Rainbow bent down out of her reach and walked in front of everybody, taking the center stage to tell her story. "True enough, not all my days start with me sleeping outside the gym, but this day, I did. This day. What a strange day it was," she said. "Strange, strange, and stranger than strange." 

Pinkie grimaced a little, moving her mouth back and forth, left to right, and back again. "All days are strange maybe, if you really think about it. I think we just haven't been paying attention so much."

"Okay, do you want me to tell my story, or just be confused?" Rainbow said, rolling her head and her eyes at Pinkie. 

"Sorry," she said, sitting down on the floor. "You tell your story."

"You don't have to write all this down," Twilight said to Spike. "Just the story."

"Got it," he said.





I was outside the gym. I had fallen asleep there, but it wasn't on purpose. I was going to go home, and I trained too hard. I fall asleep really easily, you know. Anyway, I went inside. I thought that it was a great day to train, and I could eat later. I wouldn't have to eat for hours, I was pretty sure. And there she was, clear as day, Spitfire. I smiled at her and walked past her. She was looking sour, and glum, but that's Spitfire. Whatever. I walked inside. I was going to have the best workout ever. I was sure of it. There were wing-stretchers, leg-pullers, and all kinds of good workout equipment in there. There always was. I thought that I would begin by stretching my wings.

Spitfire walked past me as I was stretching. "And my lawyer will pulverize you, and that's just the truth of it." She was, how to say, matter-of-fact, kind of, but very angry at the same time. "I don't know who you think you are. Tell her. She will listen. Don't do anything stupid."

I wanted to laugh, but I didn't, because then, Spitfire would punish me for sure, and that wasn't good, so I just kept on stretching. Then I walked to the next machine. Life is soaring, is and was, for me, because of how awesome I am, as everyone knows. And then Soarin walked in, out of the blue. Can you believe it?

"You're working out at six in the morning?" I said, from the machine where I was stretching.

"You're working out at six in the morning?" he said, returning the question to me.

"Okay, I don't care." I kept stretching my wing out, pulling the little lever on the machine. I loved working out for sure. It's one of my favorite things to do. He walked past me into another machine. It was the leg-puller. I thought that he was crazy, being here so early. I mean, I was, but I was sleeping outside, so at least I had an explanation. He just waltzed right in and started training, just like that. I thought that he maybe shouldn't begin with the leg-workout without some kind of warmup, but whatever. Each one to his own, and stuff.

I was done. I saw that he was still working his legs, so I walked to the next machine. I thought that I wanted to use it too, but it is what it is, and whenever he's done, it will be my turn, so I worked my arms a little. You need strong powerful legs, as a flyer. Then I gazed. He was still using the leg-puller. I thought that was strange. No, he wasn't even using it. He was just sitting there, but if he wanted to do that, then I guessed he could. So I started working my wings. I strapped myself down into a machine that spun around when you flap your wings, and then, I flapped as hard as I could. I didn't get tired. I never get tired. I just kept on going for like six to seven minutes, tops. Then I jumped out.

"Good," I said, more to myself than anyone. I saw Soarin. Oh, really? I looked at him, and pointed, but no one else was there. "Still working, or hardly working?" I said, making sure that he heard the word hardly extra loud, because I was a little angry. "You're hardly working at all. You're just sitting there, Soarin buddy." I tskd. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. You're using the leg-machine as a resting chair? Call your granny, buddy." 

He got a little prickly. "I'm using it. I'm doing intervals. Leave me alone."

"You can't do intervals," I said, calmly. "If you're not using it!" I yelled.

"Yeah, but I'm resting between each interval, stupid." 

"You wanna fight, bro?" I said. "Just step out of the machine."

"No, I don't wanna fight, and I'm not your bro, and no, I won't step out of the machine. I'm not done using it, stupid."

I just walked away. "Stupid Soarin and his stupid-stupid, whatever. I don't even care." I turned around. "You can use that machine as a bed too while you're at it."

"Thanks, I will," he said, sarcastically. That only made me even more angry, but I thought that either I walked away now, or I pushed, and then I was gonna have to fight him, and then Spitfire would get mad at me, and you know the rest.

I had decided that I would take this up with her later, but now, it was time to do something else. I picked out a workout ball and rolled around on it, stretching. I thought that it would feel much better doing this if I had done my leg-workout before, but beggars can't be choosers. "Jerk," I said, and then I walked out the room. I guess we had always worked out at different times before this happened, and that's why it never came up. I was going to find Spitfire right now and tell her about it, lay out some ground rules. This was not okay. I was sure of it. It was seriously not okay. It was never okay. It was way un-okay. Un-awesome, if that's a word. I looked for her office. I knocked.

I knocked harder.

I kicked the door in. No one was there. "Okay," I said. "Now, I will have to call the janitor." I walked through the grey corridor a few doors down, and knocked. 

"Come in," a voice said. There was Spitfire with the janitor, whiskered guy. "Okay, so I wanted to tell you that Soarin is using the leg-machine, the big one, as a resting chair. How about that, huh? Isn't that crazy? Tell him he's wrong."

"Can't you just wait until he's done?" Spitfire said.

"Also, I accidentally destroyed your door. I kicked it off its hinges. Sorry," I said, still feeling angry.

Spitfire spoke to the janitor. "You deal with this." She was also angry. She had an angry personality.

I walked inside. "I just think it's ridiculous. I mean, maybe he can sit in it and rest a little bit, but there has to be a limit. What else am I going to do if I have nothing else to do, and I have a deadline to meet? I have to be somewhere else, and then, he goes and takes up the machine all to himself. It's unfair, and it's wrong." I put my hoof down, signaling my disapproval of the situation. I didn't like it, not at all, and I wasn't going to stand for it. 

"Rainbow." She smiled at me and embraced me. "I'm sure that whatever problems you have with Soarin, you can deal with it. Now, of all the days you could've made a big fuss about nothing, you chose a really bad one. Have at it, hoss. If you want to fight him, then be my guest. Just don't hurt each other. We have a show in two days. Please." She marched out the door and into the corridor.

I stretched a little. "Okay, if I have to throw down, then I guess I have no choice. Soarin doesn't get it." I walked in the same direction as Spitfire, toward the gym. "What were happening there? Who were you talking to?"

"Just some moron," she said. "Life's full of them."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." I shook my head with a grimace. "I sure do know what you mean."

"Don't do anything stupid," she said. She walked in through another door, disappearing, and I was left alone.

I yelled after her. "I wasn't planning to."

No response then came. The door had already shut behind her. "Okay," I said to myself. I barged, flying into the gym, I did, but when I did, where was Soarin? Gone.

"Oh, he did a half-hour workout. One of those!" I clapped, applauding him. He came up from behind me. 

"I was just going to the bathroom. Why do you have to be so mean?" he said, looking tired.

I walked to the leg-machine, doing my pushes, not saying anything. He wasn't using it anymore now, I thought, so what's the point? He didn't say anything. He just walked to the wing-resistor, the machine I had used before, and started flying in it. I didn't really care. I thought he had been acting stupid. Suits him well if he should feel a little bad about what's happening, even if he blames me for it. He can blame me for anything he wants. I don't even care.

I finished my pushes and jumped out the machine. Somehow, what had taken him twenty minutes or whatever had only taken me two. He was out of shape, clearly. Stupid, I thought. I walked to another machine and kept going. Spitfire rushed through the gym and out the door of the building. There were several doors, but one of them was through the gym, if you want to get out of the Wonderbolts Training Facility.  

I followed her with my eyes. "What is she doing?" I said. Soarin didn't respond. "Oh, right. You're still pissed at me. Sorry." I kept working in the machine, and then I jumped out, running through the door. "Spitfire, I want to know what's going in."

"We're suing the other gym."

"Okay." I looked at her, and she looked angry. "Why?"

"It serves them right," she said. "They stole our concept."

"Hm, if they did steal our concept," I said, "then I guess I can understand it."

"You don't," she said, walking away. I went back in the gym. Soarin was still in the wing-resistor. I kept doing what I was doing. After an hour or so of going through different machines and doing my normal routine, the normal stuff, I thought that I should go for a fly. For sure, that was a good idea to do, just to feel if I had burned my body enough, or if I still needed to work out some part, so that I was tired in my whole body when the day was done. It's what us pro-athletes do.

I flew up in the air and did a few circles. I wasn't really punch-drunk tired, or whatever, but it was close enough, I think. Now, since Spitfire was busy, and she sure wouldn't be yelling any orders at me about whatever until she came back, I figured that I should go to the market and buy some eggs. It turns out that Pinkie was there too. Just as I landed on the ground, she crashed into me. 

"I have to make sure my eggs are safe!" Pinkie said. I thought this was the strangest thing in the world, but with Pinkie, you have to expect anything. Expect the unexpected. "My egg." She hugged a single egg. "No." She looked like she was about to cry. I saw something in her mane. She said, "I'm not feeling very good. I think I need a break from work." 





"Wow," Spike said. "You remember exactly what she said."

"Well, she did just tell her part of the story," Rainbow said. "And I will never forget this moment because it was so, well, weird."

"The search for eggs goes on," Pinkie said, from the crowd, as she was sitting a bit away from Rainbow, as she was telling the story.

"Are you all following this?" Rainbow said. "My day continues."





"Your eggs?" I said, just confused. "You have eggs?"

Pinkie wobbled a little, I think, and then she stood up. Seriously, she looked like she had been hit by a truck, of some kind. She was out of it. "I'm sorry. I didn't know it was you." That's what she said.

I seriously tried not laughing, but then I couldn't hold it anymore. "Maybe you do need a break. Ponies don't lay eggs, Pinkie." And then, as she said, "As far as I know," I said out of the corner of my mouth, because you can never be sure, you know. Pinkie remembered every word. I thought that, hey, maybe there's a pony out there that does lay eggs.

She, Pinkie, said, "No. No more egg troubles. I just wanted to buy some eggs. That's all."

I laughed, Pinkie.





"Maybe you should stick to the story," Twilight said.

This is happening in the map-room now.

"I am." Pinkie giggled. "Pinkie."

Twilight reached out a hoof in protest. "You're playing to the crowd."

"Eggs!" Pinkie said, laughing.

"C'mon, Twi. Don't be a buzzkill," Rainbow said, shaking her head. "My story deserves some laughs." 

"Maybe we should focus." Twilight leaned behind Spike to look what he had written.

Rainbow broke out a gigantic grin. "You sure you're the real Twilight? The real Twilight would laugh at my jokes." 

"Okay, you tell your story however you want." Twilight leaned back against the map table and sat down on it.





"Oh, I get it. I just thought, I don't know. That was funny. But I'll walk you back and buy some eggs for you."

Pinkie was being crazy. She said, "This chaotic egg-life is getting on my nervous." You know how she is when she thinks about something too much. Crazy. 

"Are you feeling well?" I said to her.

She said that she was stressed and that she doesn't feel well at all, which I can understand. I felt something against my hoof, a vibration, or was it, a crawling? 

I was going to buy eggs anyway, so I offered to come with her and buy eggs for her too. She was probably going to use it for some pie. I just wanted to mix them and eat them. It's good nutrition, it goes fast, and it doesn't take too long, so you can get back to training. That's for sure. And then, we ran into some other guy.

He looked like he hadn't taken a bath in some time. He smelled funny, and that's coming from me, but this guy, he had flies flying around him. I saw at least one, and when you smell so bad that there are flies around you, that's no good. For sure, it's not. Anyway, I told him to go away. 

The guy wouldn't leave, and then I dragged Pinkie away, because she was stuck in egg-land. She was mumbling about eggs. I knew at this moment that something was wrong with her, but what? I couldn't put my hoof on it, and then, I saw it.

"Call it my Rainbow-sense," I said, "but I know for sure that something's bothering you."

Pinkie said something about eggs, and then, I grabbed her mane, and I saw that she had bugs crawling in it. It wasn't obvious to the naked eye, but when you walked closer, you could see it. Those were definitely too big to be lice. They were spiders, of Captain Spider's crew. 





"We'll get to that later," Twilight said.

Rainbow Dash flew up in the air. "You know what, Twilight? I think you just need a warm bath, to cool off all that sass you got."

Twilight turned away, and looked down to Spike's book. She was taking the situation a bit more seriously than Rainbow Dash, by all accounts.

Rainbow continued with her epic story of awesomeness.





The story of Captain Spider is like the most epic adventure ever, but we'll get to that later, I, Rainbow Dash, say. Now, back to the story.  

"You have spiders in your hair," I said to her, as we were talking.

She was like, whaaat? And I was like, whaaat? And then, she just ran away. And the poor guy didn't get his autograph. Anyway, I'm sure he's not important. I wanted to buy some eggs, with or without Pinkie. I hoped that now, instead of being crazy, she was focusing on her spider problem like a grown-up pony. I saw the egg-stand at a distance and went to buy some eggs.

"Hello, egg-guy," I said. I had caught Pinkie-itis, a very infectious disease where, if you're around Pinkie long enough, you start talking like her. But the guy was nice.

"How many?" he said.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, I don't know. Twenty."

"That's a lot of eggs."

"I'm willing to pay for it," I said, jostling for some bits. "Here you go." I put them on the stand. "I think that's enough, isn't it? Let me just count."

"No, it's enough," he said.

"It's not too many?"

"No, twenty bits is enough."

I cocked my head a little bit, you know, back and forth. "Did eggs- were they always this expensive?" 

"It's supply and demand, my friend," he said, smiling.

"Okay, then I will pay up or shut up," I said, a little frustrated, I guess, but I wanted those eggs, and it's not a big deal. I'm rich, after all. I'm a Wonderbolt.

I got the eggs and then I flew off. I flew home to eat them. I didn't even want to look at Soarin anymore. I was a little angry at him still. I put the eggs in my blender and drank them. "Mmm." Then I swallowed some egg-shells. "Good eggs. Good eggs. Now, I need to- I don't even know what I need to do." I mumbled a little to myself. "Maybe I find Pinkie, and see what's up with her. Um, no, I think I'll just work out some more. Working out is awesome, and I'm awesome, so they go together."   

Out the window I flew, in search of adventure. I saw Fleetfoot outside the Wonderbolts Training Academy, which is far from where I live, but I flew there fast. "Hello," I said. "How are things holding up?"

She looked at me and then looked down. "I don't know what's gotten into Spitfire," she said. "She's going crazy."

"Good old Spitfire," I said, landing. "Always going crazy." Someone tapped on my shoulder. "You know," I said to Fleetfoot. "You really should warn me about these things." I turned around, and Spitfire was there. "Rainbow Crash, reporting for duty," I said, holding up my hoof. She grabbed it and lowered it, just looking at me. "Can I- can I go now?" I said, backing up the stairs, and into the gym, really just wanting to get away from her.

"Noo!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. I ran back down.

"Okay, what can I do for you, mam?"

She put her hoof under my chin, getting very physical with me, but there was no way in Tartarus that I was going to push back. She's the scariest person I know, even scarier than some of the villains we have met. 

She said, "You can start by helping me to get this lawsuit through."

I smiled. "What do you need?"

"I need your help," she said, "with an important thing. I'll show you. Follow me inside." She walked into the building, and I of course followed her. She's my coach, so I will always do just as she says. You'll only understand if you're also pro-flyer. 

I followed her through the gym and into the corridor, and into her office. She sat down in her chair, pushing her hooves together. I sat down in the chair opposite her, feeling a little uneasy, a little nervous. Everything wasn't going well for me today, but I guess it's just one of those days. I was more frustrated than normal, and everything seemed to be going slow, everything, and I had been having less fun than normal, but again, that happens. I'm not complaining or anything, but you wanted me to tell my story, so there you go.

"Rainbow," she said, biting her lip. "Do you know what's happened? Do you know what's going on?"

I laughed. "Explain. Don't hide the lead, coach."

"Yes," she said. She picked up a paper. "Look." I looked at it. I saw it. "Do you know what this is?"

"It looks like a bill."

"It is not a bill," she said, furious. "It is the one and only other thing that is anything like what I'm doing. This is a pamphlet for the Stellar Build, um, placcce," she said, drawing out her c-sounds. She sounded almost like a snake, and she felt like a snake, but that's Spitfire to you.

"That doesn't look like a pamphlet at all," I said.

"It's new," she said. "And now, they have the gall to call themselves an elite flyer's training facility. What?"

"I heard an expression once," I said, preparing for her wrath. "It's called, one rising tide raises all boats. It's something like that. I think I believe in that."

"Still," she said, "it's not true. They're not. They're just calling themselves that to steal off our name value."

"Ah, you're thinking of the Wonderbolts-brand. What a businessman you are, businessmare maybe?"

"I want them gone," she said. "Finished. Kaput. You will make that happen."

"Why me?"

"Why not?" she said. "You have to convince them that it's a bad idea to open their stupid gym that will ruin the Wonderbolt's brand for generations, generations to come!" She nodded. "Generations, Rainbow. Generations."

"I'm not sure what it is that concerns you exactly," I said, thinking that maybe she was drunk. Most of all, I felt like I didn't want to be there, but I was. "What do you want me to do?"

"Go to their gym," she said. "Convince them to close it down, or tell them that I will sue them. You do know that I have the power."

"I guess, because you said you have the rights to the name, right?"

"That's right. Now go." I went.





This was ridiculous. This was silly. It was hilarious. I found it funny. Well, I did, anyway. I walked down the cloudy path of Cloudsdale that is some ways away from the Wonderbolts academy, and yet, I assume, that it still counted as being in the same town, since it wasn't that far away. I flew up in the air, and come to think of it, Spitfire hadn't actually told me how to find the gym.

Still, I would find it. I landed on the ground. "Do you know there's a new gym in town?" I said. The guy shrugged and kept walking. "I like it better in Ponyville," I said, loudly, so that he would hear it. He just kept walking. Okay, he wasn't helpful, but I was still going to find it. I walked into a shop, with tiny trinkets. It's a tourist shop, and I just wanted a map. That's all I wanted. 

"Hello," I said, smiling.

He put a paper in front of me, looking like he wasn't really concentrating. "Can you sign here?" he said.

"Whatever. I just want a map."

"Okay." He put a map in front of me. I paid him, and then I walked out. I looked at the map, and you won't believe this. The map, which was colorful, and you could see the weather factory and all important places on it, it pointed right back to where I had been. I ran back inside, confused. "This is the new gym?" I said.

"Sure," he said. "Do you want to be a member?" I laughed.

"I'm a Wonderbolt," I said. 

He leaned down in the other direction, picking something up. "So?"

I laughed even louder. "You're funny, guy, but actually, I was sent here to, um." I remembered, then, Spitfire's strange request, and I didn't actually know how to say this. I thought that she had probably sent me off because she was angry at me, because of my comment, and her door, and that I was kind of maybe going to pick a fight with Soarin, but maybe not.

"Okay." I took a deep breath, readying myself for how he was going to react, and say. "This is going to sound, kind of, crazy?"

"Oh. Oh," the guy said, pointing at me, looking the other direction, and then, he pointed at me again. "I know. You were sent by that other gym. Yeah, that must be annoying for you. Is the place as good as I heard?" 

"It's better!" I said. "And I've come to tell you that, um, you will get, sued? Yes, you will get sued if you don't- I'm sorry. I can't do this. This is ridiculous, even for me." 

"No, I get it," he said. "I'm sorry. I guess stuff like this happens sometimes."

"Yeah," I said. "But now that you mention it, this place doesn't look so bad." I saw what happened in the background. A few ponies were there, but not many. Many ponies, some fat, and some thin, were training. Not all were hyper-athletes like I was used to seeing. I liked the energy of the room, and then I saw, get this, a leg-bender like the one in my own gym, except, there were many of them, like five. This was great. I was never again going to have to argue with Soarin about this stuff. Then again, maybe I could talk it out with him. We could sort it out. I don't want to be a drama queen, but I thought that this place looked good, and then, and then, I remembered why I had been sent there, and my mojo completely disappeared.

"Spitfire is probably not going to let me be a Wonderbolt any more if I work out at this place. This stinks." I kicked the counter.

"I get it," he said. "She wanted you to do this, and you can't betray her. She's your boss, right?"

"Yup," I said. "But how are we going to do this then? We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Either you shut this place down, or, um, I tell Spitfire, I guess."

"Yes," he said. "I understand that, but what am I going to do? Building this place, and getting all this equipment here took a lot of time and a lot of hard work. We can't just abandon it, just like that. There's got to be another way. Can you tell her that?"

"I'm not sure she would listen. She's being crazy today, for some reason, but I will go talk to her."

"Okay, thank you," he said. I went out the front-door and flew off.





"Okaaay," I said to Spitfire. "I'm sorry. I really don't want to bother you. I don't know what to say really. How did you think he was going to react?"

"Okay," she said, picking up a paper. "I'm going to sue them." She wrote something on the paper. "You bring it to the gym, and also, don't be late back. I want something else from you." I was her errand-mare, but that's all right. I could deal with it. I've always been able to deal with it, and I really like and respect her, even though everything I have said. I mean, it's all just playful. They call me Rainbow Crash, so don't get the wrong idea. Most of the things I would say to her face that I've said about her to you.

I flew back to the other gym.





"I don't want to weird you out," I said. "But here you go." I gave the paper to the guy. He swiftly grabbed it.

"Oh, I see," he said. "That's too bad. You think we can win the lawsuit?"

I thought the whole situation was so ridiculous that I just laughed out loud. "I don't know. What are you asking me for? I don't know anything. I'm just running errands. I think this whole thing is pretty weird, if you ask me."

"I've also had a weird day," he said. "Something is off about today, but I'm not sure what it is." He shook his head, and sighed. "Oh, anyway, thank you. I know it's not your fault, and I also know that you have to stand up for your gym." He reached over the desk and patted me.

"Yeah, okay," I said.

I flew back to Spitfire.





"A job well-done deserves a reward maybe?" I said, hoping to get one. "This is crazy," I said, smiling at her. "Why are you even doing this? The more I think about it, the more something seems off."

"I ordered another leg-machine," she said. "Now, go away please. I'm busy." I just walked out of the office. I couldn't believe what was happening, but whatever. That's Spitfire for you, I guess. I think it was just one of those days.





Twilight interrupted the story, and closed her eyes. "Maybe it's not a coincidence," she said. "The spiders, and now this?"

"Coincidence?" Rainbow had been flying around, gesticulating, as she was telling the story, and now, she landed on the ground. "Explain, Twi. You're making zero sense, and I want to know what the heck you're thinking."

Twilight groaned. "Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I." She paused for a moment. "Do you think it can be possible that Spitfire was a changeling?"

"Is everyone a changeling now?" Rainbow said.

"Think about it. She was acting strange all day, and another thing I noticed was interesting."

Rainbow dismissed Twilight, turning her nose away. "Puh-lease. Just let me tell my story. We can get to that later."

"But I'm afraid that later might be too late."

"What could happen?" Rainbow said. "You're just being crazy."

"Yeah, okay." Twilight turned her head away. The story continued, as it had been, growing more and more awesome by the moment, at least if Rainbow Dash is to be believed.





"Wait. She said, but she probably meant the machine, then, when she said that she has something else for me. That's nice of her." After I said that, I walked on through the corridor, whistling.  





Twilight stopped Rainbow's storytelling again, much to her chagrin. "Wait. Wait. Let me get this straight. You don't think there's anything suspicious about this, like at all?"

"No," Rainbow said.





As I was walking through the hallway, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. It was Soarin, and he was working his legs. I was about to go in, but then I hesitated. I thought, nah. He just looked at me, like he was a little sad. Now, I felt bad all a sudden. Maybe I should apologize to him, I thought. Maybe I should, or no, screw him. He had been acting stupid. I figured maybe walking out of the gym. I wasn't even sure what I wanted to do.





"Still," Twilight said.

"Will you just let me finish my story? You- you hag!" Rainbow Dash screamed as loud as her lungs could muster. 

Twilight drew her hoof across her mouth, to show that she was closing a zipper, and shut up. 

"Okay," Rainbow said.





I decided I didn't want to be in the gym, or the club-building anymore, so I walked out. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I thought for sure that there was something to pass the time out in Ponyville. When I got there, who should I meet but Rarity, who is the fairest of them all and way nicer than, you, Twilight!  





Fluttershy flew up to Rainbow. "I think we can make this work, Rainbow," she said. "You can tell your story, and if we just wait until you're done, then we won't have any more problems." She was hesitant.

"Twilight is a sassy hag," Rainbow said. "I can't do my epic storytelling in this kind of environment."

"She's a hag? You don't mean that, do you?"

"Oh, sure she is," Rainbow said, flying to the side so Twilight got in view of her. "And you know what else? Twilight is probably the changeling. He's probably hiding in here, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce. Yeah, who knows? Maybe she is."

Applejack piped up. "Okay, calm your apples. This isn't what we were s'posed to do, anyway."

"Then what were we supposed to do, Applejack, please. Tell me. Illuminate my mind with your illuminate-y thoughts. You rat."

"Jeez," Applejack said. "What's gotten into you?"

"I'm just angry. I think you could all be changelings."

"Maybe you're the changeling," Applejack said, "the way you're acting."

"Please," Twilight said. "This is going too far. I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash, for interrupting your story. This thing can go to your head. I know. I understand that, because it has gone to my head! I have thoughts like this all the time, but we need to understand that, well, first of all, there's only one changeling that's the real problem. The other one was only a decoy. And secondly, we don't know who is the changeling. Okay, you're with me? That also means, I think, that we can't know who isn't either, so we don't know anything, and we need to think and not panic!" Twilight had smoke coming out of her ears, and her face got red like the reddest apple. This couldn't be good, any of the others thought, and so, they sat down, and got quiet.

"I'm sorry," Twilight said. "You all probably think that I'm the changeling."

"Twilight," Applejack said. "How 'bout this? What if none of us is the changeling? What do we know? Isn't that possible?"

"It is," Twilight said. "This guy, he's gotten inside my head. I can't believe I'm questioning my own friends."

"Sometimes you must," Applejack said. "Now, I think it's fair to say that we have squashed this. Can you please return to your story, Rainbow Dash?"

"Yes," she said.





I think everyone will understand when I say that this had been a weird day. This is the word of the evening, my friends. Weeeird. I kind of wanted to go back to bed, but I was also curious what else could happen. And I thought, hey, why not go to Ponyville and see what everyone else is doing, but then I remembered the thing with the gym and the machines, and also, I wanted to know what would happen with the place, so even though I wasn't really being my own awesome self, I decided to take some, I guess, what is it they say? Responsibility. That's right. I was going to take responsibility, and the first thing, I thought, was to see why Spitfire had been acting so strangely. I had to talk to her again, so I could understand what in the world, oh my gosh, and what the heck, and you know, was, was, going on. It was crazy. I went back to the facility, and then, I walked to her office. I knocked. I got no response. The janitor had been really quick to fix the door. 

"It's good that we have a janitor," I said to myself. I sometimes talk to myself. Pinkie do too, from her story. I tried opening the door. It was unlocked, and there was no one in there. I thought that she should for sure be in her own office, either that or working out like the rest of us, but I didn't see the trace of her. So I walked out and I went back out into the little corridor. Where can she be, I thought. I really had no idea. Then, I was met with Thunderlane.

"Hello there," I said, just walking past him.

"Hey, can I have a second?"

"You can have more than one second," I said, turning around. "What do you want, m'dude?"

"Soarin has been acting really weird. I think he's upset with you."

"Ouh," I said. "Um, ugh, okay. Do you want me to tell you? Well, I guess I can. It won't hurt you. He was jogging the leg-exercise machine, the big one, and then I guess, I don't know, I might've sort of threatened to beat him up if he kept using it without, you know, actually using it. He was just sitting there, and I got a little annoyed." 

Thunderlane looked thunder-struck. "You were gonna beat him up, inside the gym?" He frowned. "That's crazy-talk."

"Oh, but nothing came of it," I said, "so I don't know what he's crying over."

"I know it isn't really my place."

I knew where he was headed with this. "You think I should apologize?" I could do that. Then again, nah. It's not really my fault if Soarin is making a big deal out of nothing. This kind of thing has happened many times at our gym, for many reasons, and it always got resolved. No one had to die, but you need to defend your principles, and not be weak, especially in front of Soarin, stupid Soarin. I didn't care. I don't care. I didn't care. I was walking out the gym, but then I saw him. He was looking, sad. Oh my gosh, I thought. What's gotten into me? I've turned into a vampire.





Back in the map room, Rainbow Dash was looking at Twilight, intently. 

Twilight just said, "Pfft."

"Anyway."





I thought, well, okay. Soarin is pretty cool I guess. I guess I have to say I'm sorry, so I walked in the room.

"Ugh!"

He looked at me.

"Sorry for saying that I wanted to fight you, but I'm not sorry for the other part, or, okay. Maybe some of the jokes were a little too far, but still, I stand by what I said about, um." This was turning into a terrible apology. I started over. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. I'm really, really, extremely sorry because I don't want you to feel sad, and I care about you." I reached out my hoof to shake his. "Bro," I said. "Just kidding."

He shook it. "Oh my gosh. Maybe I'm just not feeling good," I said, turning around. "Maybe I need some more eggs, but then I will have to find them somewhere. I need some food. I feel- I don't know. Whatever. I'm sorry," I said, turning around again. "This has been stupid. I'm sorry."

"Thank you," he said, smiling at me. 

I hugged him, and kissed him on the forehead, and then, I flew out the door. Okay, then it was time to get out somewhere, maybe into town. I wasn't staying here. That's for sure. I couldn't find Spitfire, and all the problems had been dealt with, I think, at least in theory.

I flew out, and then, I got it into my mind that I should visit the other gym again to see how that guy was doing, so I did.





"Hello there," I said. "How it be? How are we, doin', my friend? My dude?" I was trying to act cool, just being chill.

He said, "It's not going great. I'm not sure what to do now. I feel like I could lose everything, at any moment. That's a bad feeling. I'm desperate. I'm sad."

"Wow, that's heavy, but I hope you'll be fine at least. To be honest with you, I can't really believe any of this. It feels like there's something I don't understand."

"Okay," he said.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I said, it isn't good. I'm unsure what to do. I don't know what I can do, really. Seriously, do you know?"

Then I got upset. "You know what? You're right. This whole thing is ridiculous, and you know what else? I'll become a member of your gym, just to show solidarity. How about that?"

He just brought up a paper. "I don't think it'll make any difference," he said. "But thank you for the kind words, anyway. Maybe I'll be fine."

"No," I said. "Spitfire is acting crazy. I'm not with her, at least not in this. No, if she will make me not a Wonderbolt because of this, then it's her problem, not mine. I'm standing by you, guy."

"Thank you," he said.

"This pen isn't working," I said.

"That's too bad." He bent down beneath his desk. "You know, to be honest, I don't really know where the pens are, but that's okay. I'll make you an honorary member, if that's okay with you."

"Sure," I said, smiling.

"Good luck, and have a great day," he said, turning away, walking into the back, behind the counter, where I couldn't really see where he was going, or what he was doing, really. 

I flew out.





Now, above all else, I felt like I wanted to talk to Spitfire and settle this thing once and for all, because it was really, truly ridiculous. I couldn't believe it. I really couldn't believe it. Why do this? This guy was just an innocent gym owner. I assumed he was. Who had he hurt? What had he done? An elite flyer's training facility? As if that's a name we're only allowed to use. I barged into the academy, but then, she was gone, and I couldn't find her.

I stuck my head into the gym. "Hey, Fleetfoot. Do you have any idea, like any idea, where Spitfire could be?"

"No."

"Okay, buddy."

I thought this was all really silly, and then, something else happened. I met Twilight, in Cloudsdale of all places. I was flying down there, looking for Spitfire, and then I saw her. This was a surprise, and I came down to talk to her.

"Hello."

"Have you seen anything suspicious?" she said. I thought that I had seen many suspicious things during the day, and I wasn't sure what exactly she meant even, but I asked her.

"Can you be more direct in your question? Like, specific how?"

Twilight brought out a picture. "I don't suppose you've seen this person."

Really, it was a wanted-poster, like the kind you see in the old west. The old west of Equestria! It was of a changeling, but it was not something you would expect seeing. It was a black changeling. "But I thought that since Thorax, all the changelings." I stopped, not knowing what to say.

"There is one," Twilight said. "His name is–" Twilight stumbled. I noticed her horn had been glowing, to keep herself on the clouds, and then, she simply fell through.

"Nooo," I said, flying after her. I caught her in the last moment before she hit the ground, and died. 





"Okay," Twilight said.

Rainbow was bewildered. "Okay, but it was- it was close." She shook her head, flying around. "C'mon, Twilight. Let me tell the story. C'mon. It's great. We're having a great time."

"We might miss something if you don't tell it like it happened."

"Okay, okay, sourpuss. I caught you when you were like halfway down. And then."

"Let's not bury the lead," Twilight said.

"Okay, right. No, it was Esceforn," Rainbow said. "I feel sorry for him, having that name" 

"It's changeling naming customs." Twilight leaned forward, off the map-table. "It's normal."

"Yeah, but Esceforn just sounds like a made-up word."

"All words are made-up."

"Don't be a smart aleck, Twi."

"I'm not."

"I will finish the story, or I will die trying."





I landed on the ground. "Twi. Nooo." I saw that a small arrow of some kind was stuck in her head.





"It was a dart."

"Do you want an arrow instead? Shut up."





I saw that a big arrow, like the size of my arm, was stuck in her head. I tried talking to her, but she wouldn't respond. I tried to breathe into her mouth and push her chest down, because that's what they had taught me at the academy if something like this happened, but it didn't work. Nothing worked. Then, I heard her breathing. 

"Twi," I said, hugging her. "You are the best friend in the world, and you certainly wouldn't interrupt me or not laugh at my jokes when I tell this story later." 

"Oh, Rainbow. You are the fastest pony ever. I think you're strong, and you're way smarter than me. I'm stupid."

That's what she said, and then, she was out of it. I couldn't talk to her. I couldn't contact her. Nothing. I picked her up, lifting her, and flew her to Ponyville, which isn't far from Cloudsdale, thinking that I wanted to get her help of some kind.

"Hello, Rainbow Dash," Pinkie said. Now, this is the part that Pinkie didn't include, but I think she remembers that it happened. Maybe it, no, it couldn't have happened after she went back to work, because at that point, Twilight had already woken up, but whatever. Nothing happened. I just said hello to her and kept flying. It was right at the edge of Ponyville, on the other side of Sweet Apple Acres, so if you go out of the farm, and cross straight through Ponyville, that's where I met her. I don't know how else to explain it, but there she was. 

"Wait, is that Twilight?" she said.

"Yes," I yelled, getting angry at her. "Of course it it. I need to help her." I kept flying, and then, I reached the hospital, but she woke up.

"Unngh," she said.

"Twilight, are you all right?"

"What happened?" she said, looking tired, and out of it.

"I don't know. You got hit by a tiny arrow."

"The darts," she said, sitting up. "I need to help Applejack."

"Then what were you doing in Cloudsdale?"

"There's no time to explain. You need to help me, Rainbow." I followed with her, and she flew to the farm.

When we were there, I was attacked. I guess that's what you can call it. I was trapped inside some kind of net. Okay, I'm telling this the wrong way. I flew past a tree, and then, a net came out of nowhere and caught me, and then, I was just hanging from the tree.

"Rainbow Dash!" Twilight said. Another arrow hit her, and she got knocked out.

"Twilight."

This day had gone from normal, to kind of what, to being crazy all of a sudden. That went fast. I tried to get out of the net, but I couldn't. I didn't know what to do. I must've been in that net for like thirty minutes. I felt helpless, and like someone was taking advantage of me, on a psychological level. Then, the net came down, and I was free. It was Rarity.

"What are you doing?" she said.

"Thank you for saving me. You could've come sooner, darling," I said, nicking her chest. 

She gasped. "I'd never."

"Whatever. C'mon," I said. "We need to help Twilight."

"Why? The last time I met her, she was fine."

"Be that as it may, dear, we still have to help her." I looked around on the ground. "Where is she exactly?"

"I'm sorry," Rarity said, with all the sass in the world. "Did you hit your head?"

I laughed. "No, my head is fine. But Twilight got hit by an arrow, and now I don't know where she is."

"She's with Applejack, inside the barn," Rarity said. "She's safe."

"Yeah, but she was with me when I- why would she just run away from me, without trying to help me, when I was stuck in this net?"

"I'm sure there's a good explanation for everything," she said.

"Nah," I said. "Not for that one. I need to find her and sort this out with her, and quick. She showed me a picture of a changeling. That means maybe the one you met could've been fooling you. You never know."

"Oh, well, I seriously doubt that," she said.

"Why?"

"Because I know Twilight," Rarity said. "Don't you? You would know if it wasn't the real Twilight?"

I stuck out my tongue at her. "Maybe I wasn't paying full attention, you sog." 

"What's a sog?"

"You're a soggy pony. Now get out of my way." I pushed her. I wasn't really paying attention to my own words. I just wanted to stop talking to her. It was only a gentle push, to make her move out of the way, so don't get any ideas, but she got offended anyway. I wasn't even really paying attention.

"Why, you!" she said. Her horn lit up.

"Oh, no. Calm down, Rarity. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." She hit me with a beam, but nothing happened. "Did you just try to kill me?" I said, sweating and looking around, searching for help.

"No, it's the spell Twilight taught me. It's to see if you're a changeling. If you are, then you will turn into a changeling, and show your true form."

"I'm not a changeling, you stupid mare." I flew off, tired of all that, and toward the barn, wanting an explanation from Twilight, or maybe, if that didn't work out, to catch a changeling, just if, and only if, that changeling was pretending to be Twilight, but then, where was the real Twilight? And all of this was really worrying me.

But when I reached the barn, it was empty. Then I searched Applejack's farm. It was empty. Then I returned the the apple field. It was empty. I sat down against a tree, feeling bitter and angry because of what had happened. This never happens, I thought. Why is everything so stupid? Something fell down and landed on me. It was Apple Bloom.

"Put me back," she said. "Put me back. I wanna go back up, please."

"What for?" I said. "Why?"

"I'm hiding," she said, "from everyone. Everyone has been acting weird around me all day long."

"No, they have? I've felt the same way," I said. "Maybe there's something going on. Something bad is happening in this place."

"Something bad?"

"Hidden away. Maybe. I don't know. We need to fix this though, and you can't keep hiding up there."

"No. I mean, yes I can. Sure I can. You gonna stop me?"

"Yes," I said. "Let's go back to your home. There's no one there. It's safe. This day has been, I dunno how to describe it." We went back and into Applejack's house. 

"I'll just go to bed," she said. "I feel better there."

"Okay, suit yourself, but don't do anything stupid. I'll stay around and keep- keep guard? No, I'll show you that it's safe by just staying here, and I'll be around, so don't worry." I walked down the stairs. The next thing I remember is waking up, and Twilight was there, and others.

I stood up, wiping myself off. This arrow didn't hurt me at all. I felt fine, but Twilight won't when I'm done with her. I asked her then what I will ask her now. And that is, why? Why did you do it? 





"Can I defend myself?" Twilight said. "Do you want to continue with your story?"

Rainbow Dash landed on the map table. "No, please. Explain, now. I'm all ears."

"I didn't leave you. I was never even with you."

"How is that even possible?" Rainbow said, sitting down next to Twilight. "Explain. You hit yourself with the arrow?"

"Dart."

"And then, you fell to your death, expecting me to save you, just so you could trick me that you were Twilight, when you were in fact just a changeling? That is kind of, I don't know, impossible to believe."

"I don't know what happened," Twilight said. "I just know it wasn't me."

"That is impossible to believe. I saw you."

"Please believe me," Twilight said.

"No, there's something fishy going on here, and I'm going to figure out what it is sooner, not later."

Twilight looked at Rainbow. "I was- I don't know." They both realized the same thing in that moment. Rainbow Dash continued telling her story.





Anyway, I was asking Twilight why she just left me there, and she gave the same explanation that you just heard. Okay, I thought. That's stupid.

"I want you to take some responsibility," I said.

"But I'm telling you. It really wasn't me."

"I'm just happy you're safe," Rarity said, smiling down at me, really, down, from up there. Where was she? She was standing on top of the barn? I was outside? What? I had no idea what had happened, but anyway. They found me there, and that's the end of that story.





"I want to know what happened at the gym," Spike said.

"That comes later," Rainbow said. "I've told half of what happened that day, all the way up to the poison-dart, I mean arrow. Now, it's someone else's turn because honestly, Twilight, I don't feel so good. I don't think I want to continue this thing any more."

"Would it help you if I said I'm sorry?" Twilight said.

Rainbow Dash shook her head. "No, not really. I want you to admit what you did, or at least give an explanation."

"Maybe there wasn't poison in the dart, and the falling down was all a trick just to make you believe that I was unconscious," Twilight said.

"Okay, there's that. And you stood on the cloud with your horn glowing," Rainbow said. "But you still, or whoever did it, still put his or her life in danger by doing that. That deserves some kind of explanation. Who would be willing to do such a thing?"

"You didn't hear what happened?" Rainbow looked at Twilight. It wasn't she who said it. 

Applejack stood in the corner of the room, spinning her hat around on her hoof. "Now, I will tell you the story of the craziest person you have ever met, and that will explain what Twilight can't explain." 

"I've heard the story," Rainbow said, landing with a thud in front of Applejack.

"No," she said. "You haven't heard all of it."

"Before we continue," Twilight said, "can we go get the mail? I'm expecting something."

Twilight left the room, not really listening to any responses. "Well, okay. What do we do now?" Rainbow said.

"We calm our apples."

"Okay," Rainbow said, chuckling a little at that. "Apples."

"Yeah, apples."

Twilight came back. "Guess who I found?" The pony known as Derpy flew in the room alongside Twilight. She crashed into a wall. "Who else?"

"Whoops," she said.

Twilight said, "Okay, can I check for sure that you're not a changeling using a spell I know?" 

"What's a changeling?" Derpy said. Twilight hit her with the beam, but nothing happened. "That tickles," she said, giving a little smile. "What are you guys doing?"

"We're telling stories," Twilight said. "Perhaps you would like to join us."

"Oh, sure. But I have a lot of packages to deliver, and you know, that's work, and all." She scratched the back of her head, looking a little nervous in front of everyone. "But I can come back later." 

"That's great," Twilight said. "You're our favorite mail-mare."

She blushed and flew out the door of the big room. Rainbow closed the door behind her. "Make sure to use the spell again when she comes back. You never know."

"But come on," Twilight said. "That's Derpy. She wouldn't harm a fly."

"You're missing the point."

"No, but to say that, I mean, why would anyone want to impersonate her?"

"Can I tell my story now?" Applejack said.

Derpy came back in the room. "Hello," she said.

Twilight looked at Rainbow Dash, and then back at Derpy, or Ditzy, as she's sometimes called. "Hello. Do you want to join us?"

"I think I could take one short break," she said.

"Shoot the beam at her again."

"Shut up," Rainbow Dash, Twilight said through her teeth.

"No, you shut up. You have what Spitfire would call an attitude problem."

"Wait," Derpy said. "Why are you all getting so angry? Can't we all just get along?"

"Shoot the beam at her."

"I refuse to."

"I order you to shoot the beam at her."

Twilight did but nothing happened. "Happy now? Jerk."

"How else were we supposed to know? How am I the jerk? You know from the story, one moment, a person can be your friend, and the next, it can be your enemy. How else are we going to solve this problem, Slowlight?" 

"Did you just call me Slowlight?"

"Stop it," Derpy said. "Won't you all just stop, please?" She looked mightily distressed. "Come on, you guys. You love each other. Why are you being so mean to each other? I know you guys. You would never do this."

Twilight looked at Rainbow Dash. She got tears in her eyes, a flicker of tears. "I'm so sorry," she said. "I'm so, so sorry."

"I'm sorry too," Rainbow said. "Truth is that I'm really afraid of everything right now. I feel like I can't think straight. I feel like anyone could be a changeling, even you. But I shouldn't. Even if you are, I shouldn't, because loyalty is the most important thing of all, Twilight, and I learned some of that from you. I'm so sorry." They hugged each other, for a long time, without letting go.

The other ponies in the group watched on, smiling. "Wow," Derpy said. "I'm so proud of you guys."

"Okay," Applejack said. "I'm really proud too. I'm really happy that all you settled this."

"Do you want to go next?" Twilight said. "It makes sense. Maybe, we should've even started with you." 

"I don't know," Applejack said. "Honestly, this is all real hard for me to handle. It's too much to even think about at the moment, y'all." 

"We can take a break," Twilight said. "Anyone want cupcakes?"

"Hey, that's my line," Pinkie said. They all laughed.

"I want a cupcake," Derpy said. They all left the room, determined to put the misgivings behind them, and start anew, like a family would, and these ponies really were a family. They loved each other, and that's something you should never forget to do, no, never. Being together, and being a family, is something that made them happy.





"Peh. Bleh," he spit out a green splotch of brew out his mouth. "You call this a stew, Zecora? Your brew is abhorrent, abhoradora." He tipped the cauldron so that it fell over. Zecora was tied to the wall inside her cottage. "Aren't you cute?" he said, walking up to her. He tickled her neck.  

"The ponies will find me hear. They'll know when you draw near."

He laughed, cackling. "Hahahaha. Shut your chute."

"This is getting, becoming too much," he said, his head twitching. He walked up to a white-board that was on the wall. It was full of arrows that went back and forth, and pictures of ponies, the six, the elements of harmony. "We need to simplify, as such." He looked to Zecora.

"Yes," he said. "Unless, I can't. Hm, and-t-t-t-t-t." He groaned. He turned into Zecora. Then, he turned into Twilight. "I need to transform, just so I can stop this incessant rhyming," she said. "Do you know of a cure? You wouldn't. You have the disease too."

"It's a gift," Zecora said.

He turned back. "Suit yourself, but I never wanted this, um, myself." He picked a pen off the floor and drew a few circles around Rainbow Dash. "She will be useful to me. She, if I can't get the three." He drew a few circles around Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Twilight. "Others," he said. "Brothers? No, sisters. Blisters." He laughed. "Oh, what a world. It's a turd." He picked up a small bamboo stick. "Nighty-night. Don't let the bed bugs, um, bite. Heheh. That one was obvious." He shot a dart at Zecora, and she lost consciousness. Her head fell down, and hung from her position, where she was stretched out against the wall of the little house. "I think I like you, a little bit. But I blew this pipe, and now, your lights aren't lit, are they? Hey!" He jumped. Someone was knocking at the door. It was Derpy Hooves. 

Zecora leaned out the door. "Hello dear, my little friend. I mean, there. Hello there, are you lost at the end? You want me to lead you back, and help you with your." She looked at what Derpy was holding. "Sack." She wiped her face. If Derpy had been observant, she could've almost seen the beads of sweat running down Zecora's face, but she wasn't, and so, the story goes on.

"I just wanted to give you your package," she said. She handed a wet lump to Zecora. Zecora frowned. 

"What's this? There's something amiss."

"With the package you mean? Yeah, I'll repay you." Derpy scrambled in her bag for some bits. "Here you go. I'm really sorry, but I hope it will still be in good condition."

"Okaaay," Zecora said. "That's greeea." She coughed a little. "Oh, right. I'm still Zecora. Silly me. I like flora."

"I also like flora," Derpy said. Zecora smiled.

"Can I take your picture?" she said, holding up a camera. 

"Oh, sure," Derpy said, brushing her mane up a little bit for the picture.

Zecora took the picture. "Nice, um, picture."

"Thank you. I hope you have a great day," Derpy said, flying away.

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that," Zecora shouted after her. She closed the door. "Stupid twat." She turned back into the changeling. Zecora was waking back up. He, the changeling, shot another arrow at her.

"Noo. Don't," Zecora said, losing consciousness again.

"This is perfect." He put the picture up in the middle of the other pictures, on the white-board. "With a pony like her around, it's easy to inspect, and impersonate, and perfect, my defect." He turned into her, mimicking her voice. "Oh, I scho schorry. What am I to doewgh-bleh. Disgusting. I hate asymmetry. I hate stupidity. I just want it all to end." He turned back into himself again. "But not until I have her then." He blew his dart-pipe at the board, and hit Applejack with a dart. "Sorry, Apple-freak. Didn't mean to be in your way, you cheek. I mean, you have cheek, not that you are a cheek. Oh, I feel bleak." He sank down on the floor. "I need. Oh, beak?" He turned into a griffin. Zecora was waking up again.  

"Say, my little friend? What happened when Pinkie came visiting here at the end?" 

"I won't say a word to you, you evil creature you. You do what you will do. Get out, or shoot." 

"Those aren't even all rhymes," the griffin said, turning back into a changeling. "I fear we're losing our limes here, which is to say our sanity, our calamity." He started breathing heavily. "Bananas? Who am I exactly? I can't even remember. All I can see in front of me is, bandanas." He stared around the inside of Zecora's house, seeing pieces of fabric hanging across the walls. "These new? Are these- ugh." He turned into Pinkie. "Hello, Zecora. Do you want to be my friend?"

"They were supposed to be a gift for her," she said. "It's sad to me to see you as her, you jerk."

"Oh, I'm a jerk, am I?" Pinkie said. "Don't you want to be my friend? Oh my gosh." Pinkie backed away, seeing a spider on the floor. "Aaaugh!" she ran around the cottage. "No. No," she said. She turned back into the changeling. "No. Oh. Oh. No. No? What am I doing?" He looked at his hooves, breathing shakily. "I get too far inside a pony's head, and then, I might as well be dead. It's like I don't exist. I'm stuck between my own identity and theirs." He looked at Zecora. "Betwixt."  

She turned her head away. "Still, I will see what I can do, because Apple-land will be mine." And he looked her in the eye, but she didn't look back. "And you." He laughed. "Oh, I can do anything I want. You don't think I can? I shan't."

"You are what gives me my powers. I need to see you, and then I can build towers. I can do anything, and I mean anything, is the thing." 

"What are you going to do?" she said.

He hummed. "Um, lock you away somewhere, far away, where no eyes can reach you. You're boring. I'm tired of you. I think I've extracted enough of your personality that I can do what you do, you deploring, deplorable, ugh, unrestorable, stupid, putrid." He turned into Zecora. "Thinggg."   

"This kind of evil, will only be rewarded in kind, by your imprisonment in Tartarus, by ponies that mind."

"I've heard that one before, ever since I escaped from the hive. No one takes me seriously, but they will." He nodded, now looking like Zecora. "I feel live, like a high, towering, ugh." He turned back into Pinkie. "Listen here. If you are found in this forest, it will be, well, not you exactly. It will be you, except." Pinkie laughed. "Dead. How does that sound?"

Zecora said nothing.

Esceforn turned to the white-board. "Then let the games begin." He, in his Pinkie-form, picked up a bamboo-pipe and shot an arrow, straight at the picture of Rainbow Dash. A piece of the picture detached and fell to the floor. "It's my time to win," Pinkie said. "For once."
> Apple-land
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, so get ready for something absolutely crazy. It will be more crazy than your craziest dreams, and maybe, more crazy than that. I’ll tell you what. You haven’t seen crazy until you heard what happened. I started my day doing the normal things that I normally do, and it was all normal. Don’t ever question that. I was handling the pigs, and doing all sorts of things. Do you want me to go through that too? It’s not important. Yes, I was feeding them, and I did my normal routines, and it was all what it is. It’s like, whatever, you know, like, it’s all a normal day, but then, this happened.

Are you ready? This happened. I got a letter, and yes, it wasn’t just like any old letter. It was an invitation that someone had sent for the opening of a wild new ride, on an amusement park called Apple-land. Okay, so first of all, what? Apple-land? That’s one of the dumbest things I ever done heard in my whole life. Apple-land? What’s an Apple-land? What’s that supposed to mean, exactly? Well, my friends, it is the dumbest thing that has ever happened to me in the history of my- of my career as a pony, all my cotton-picking life. All it that ever happened, and, I’m just so upset, but anyway, suffice to say, I mean, first of all, this all happened right when I woke up, so I’m not holding anything from you. 

Yes, I did my normal chores. You know about them, Twilight. It’s the apple-bucking and the feeding of the animals. I think I had to fix some things too. The hinges on a door were broken, totally off, but that only took a few moments. You have to be practical about these things. And I hope I was. I hope that’s what happened at least, but then, it all just got worse, and crazier. Even more crazy! Okay, so strap up, my friends.

“I need to go,” I said to Apple Bloom.

Apple Bloom was acting, well, Apple Bloom, but I felt I had to stand my ground, just this once. For sure, I had to. This was serious. “I need to figure out what in the world happened, and I need to do it myself, on my own. It’s important.”

“No you don’t,” she said. “I could come with you.”

“Yes, I do, and no, you can’t. No, this is for me to do, please. You have to understand this. I need to do this on my own. This isn’t no pleasure-ride.”

“Judging,” Apple Bloom said, “from this thing.” She held up the letter. “I wouldn’t be all so sure about that.”

“What do you know?” I said. I meant well, but I felt I had to be putting my hoof down. This wasn’t no game no more, no, siree. No. I had to be serious, and take things seriously now, because nothing like this, I mean, I have it hard even talking about it because it makes me so angry. But I’ll try. I will.





“What,” Rainbow Dash said, “is it that makes you so upset?”





Okay, get this. I wanted to know why this would even happen, how and why. There’s nothing weird about that. Tell me that there’s something weird about that. There isn’t. There ain’t. But then, okay, I said. I’ll go and see what’s going on, so what I did was, I took the train. I stood at the train station and waited for my train.

“Hello there, a’miss,” a guy came up to me and said.

I said, “Well, hello there, mister. How’s things going for you?”

“Oh, nothing much is happening for me,” he said. “I’m just doing my job.” This guy seemed like a nice guy, at the time. I stayed and talked to him.

“I’m just trying live my life. I got a weird letter.” I looked around to where the letter was, you know, not even thinking. Well, this guy, and I think we can all guess who it was, bumped into me, just a little bit. He looked like a train conductor by the way. Fat chance. He walked away from me, and when I checked my bag, I saw that the letter, the one I got, was gone, without no trace. It was off and gone and forever too, and I couldn’t find. No, you’d better believe that I couldn’t find it, ladies, and, um, ladies. You guys, this is ridiculous. I couldn’t believe my eyes, and right then and there, my suspicion was arisen, and I started to question everything. Who was this conductor? I decided that I would go and find him on the train.

We took off, but as we did, there was a different conductor on the train, or was it? I ask you this. Or was it? Was it? Was it? I don’t know. This whole thing is driving me crazy. I tried speaking to him. He was a calm guy, seemed kind of like he didn’t have a lot of energy. He didn’t look at me. Well, that didn’t stop me from looking at him. I noticed nothing suspicious in the least, except, I know what it was. It was that the guy was wearing the exact same clothes, but they looked all too loose on him. Well, isn’t that suspicious? Anyhow, I knew like right then and there that this guy was a changeling, and I was going to have a good old chat with him, let him explain himself. There’s nothing to say about that. It is what it is, and so, I had the conversation with him. 

“Okay,” I said. “Pay up or shut up. Where’s the letter? I know it’s you. Not as if I don’t recognize you, a’sir.” 

“Okay,” he said. Green fire burned around him, and he turned back into a changeling. He was still wearing the clothes, but they looked even looser on him, because he was so tiny. “Here you go,” he said, tossing the letter to me. “Why do you have to be so low?” 

“Oh, we got ourselves a rhymer too,” I said, grabbing the letter. “Just stay out of my way, whoever you are.”

“Ugh,” he said. “Can’t nothing- I mean, anything, ever go my way? I hate today.” He sat down on the ground.

“Where’s the actual conductor?” I said.

“You’ll figure that out,” he said, “if you can listen to this. He’s gone away from the train, amiss. I think he’s, how they say, out the window, and, because I threw him out with the with the tow, I think he’s dead, and, um, shred?” 

“What?” I said. “You can’t be serious.”

“I threw your baggage out too, a’miss,” he said, winking at me. "I did it when you were on your way to the cart, this.” He pointed at the wall beside him.

“Okay,” I said. “So this is a lasso.” I pointed at my lasso. I swung it, catching him. “And this is you in the lasso, buddy. You’re going to jail, at least. Maybe worse.”

“We’ll see about that, you stupid little fat, bat!” he said, stumbling over his words, turning into a tiny filly, slipping out of my lasso, and then opening the door of the train. “You’ll see. I will have you, at that. Heheheeeh!” He turned into a pegasus and flew out the door of the cabin. 

I didn’t even know how to react because I thought it was so stupid. “What the- in the, and the, huh?” I looked out the train. 

“You’re just a flea,” he said, flying outside it. Now, this is when I realized that this guy wasn’t just a villain. He actually has some sort of mental problem, but he’s the one that’s responsible for Apple-land. I don’t have to tell you. You can see for yourself. Later, I’ll show you. But this had all gone way out of hoof already. It was too much. Too much. Too much. I didn’t know how to handle it. And so, I got upset. I was angry, way too angry for my own good. I wanted to shout at someone, or even something. Something is probably better, I think. It’s something that you have to do sometimes when you get angry. At least I do. I felt I had a conniption. I wanted to scream. I really did.

I looked out the train again. The lunatic was still there. “Hello,” he said. “How you doing, Apple-freak? You stupid little thang you, you pathetic little squeak.” He took a deep breath. “Of a person. You're worse than, rotten apple stew. You."

"This is not good," I said. "Just get over here. We can talk about this. There's no reason to get all crazy on me."

"That's where you're wrong," he said. "You won't last long." He flew out of view and disappeared. I didn't know who he was. I didn't understand yet. If I had, then getting off the train and following after him, somehow, even if it meant stopping the train, would be priority number one, for me.

We'll get to all that later though.





The train stopped, as trains are tending to do, as trains, ugh. Just, I'm too frustrated to talk. I walked outside, and saw the strangest vision. Listen. I don't even know what to say to this, but I will try to describe it as best I can. Okay, so it was a giant open area, and it was filled with wooden wagons, such things. Are you following this? This is really one of the worst things that has happened to me in my life. I walked through the area. It's hard to describe, you know. It was all over. The place was covered with these wagons, and they were spread out all over. I think the ground was made of some kind of hard stony surface. I couldn't make out what it was. I'm not used to seeing these things, y'hear? I don't know. But I walked through the stupid place.   

Then I saw it. It was a big shining sign, with my name on it, and it said Applejack's Apple-land, and there was I, all smiley and gooey, my face. No, serious, it was my face. Can you- are you listening to this?





Rainbow Dash jabbed her hoof into her own nose. "I'm multitasking."

"Okay," Applejack said.





I walked into Apple-land, and it was a carnival. There were rows of boxes with games, cotton candy, and the whole carnival thing going on. I thought it was pretty weird, and I had a hard time accepting any of it. I didn't even- I couldn't. Ugh. 





Rarity said, "I hope telling this story with be therapeutic for you, honey."

"Yeah, I hope so too," Rainbow Dash said. "Ow." Blood ran out of her nose. "Can you pause for a moment? I need paper."

"Okay," Applejack said.

"I think it's important to note," Twilight said, "that mental illness is no joke, and if this guy really does have mental problems, whatever. He's a bad guy, but he still needs help."

"I agree with you," Applejack said. "I agree. But still, there's no excuse for anything that happened.

"It's not as if you were about to form a friendship with him anyway," Twilight said. "He's a crazy changeling. He has a few screws loose. There's something wrong with the fellow."

Rainbow Dash came flying back with paper pushed against her nose. "Continue, my fairest apple," Rainbow said, making a bow. 

"Stop messing," Applejack said. "No, this is serious business."

"You can go on," Rainbow said.





I walked around, looking at the sights. Then, all eyes turned toward me. Ponies came up to me. 

"Applejack," a child said, pointing at me. The place was swarming. I didn't know what to do, run or hide? 

"Yes," I said, reaching out my hoof to shake the child's hoof. We did shake hooves. "Nice to meet you, little- um, little guy." I couldn't even, fathom. That's the word. Fathom. I couldn't. This is not something that normally happens. No, this is- I don't know. Maybe I'm being overly dramatical with all this. Still though, I think it was a crazy day. Not normal. Weird, and strange, it was, to be sure. I didn't even, and then, and with the, and, I'm just so upset still.

Anyway, the parent of the child came up to me. "Can I take a picture?" she said, holding a camera. 

"M'kay," I said, almost not wanting to say the words, but whatever, you know. She could take the picture. She did.





"She took a picture of you?" Twilight said.

"Celestia knows this will be a long afternoon if you keep interrupting."





I took the picture with her, I did, and I walked to buy some cotton candy too while I was at it. I needed energy for what I was about to do. I heard woos in the background of it all, and I saw there was a rollercoaster. Applejack's rolly-coaster, the sign said. I was having a conniption.   

"Hello," I said to the cotton candy-guy. "Do you know where the, um, management of this place is?"

"You of all ponies should know," he said.

"Yeaaah," I said, not really knowing how to explain this. "Anyhow, I just want to go, um, talk to someone?" I tried looking for words.

"That's okay," he said. "I think it's that big building over there." He pointed. There sure was a big building, not a far way aways from where I was. 





I ran there, stuffing my face with the cotton candy. "I need to talk to someone," I yelled to no one in particular. I just wanted everyone's attention. I wanted this whole shebang to stop, and fast, because I was tired of it already. "Why- what is this place? And why does it exist?"

I got some curious looks. I ignored it all. I just kept on running forward, doing my own business. They could mind theirs, if that so pleased them, but I was busy, and I needed to talk to someone, before going crazy. 

I knocked on the door of that building, that there big one in the middle of the place, and it opened. I was invited inside, by a big round pony. Now, remember this, because this is very important. This guy was some sort of business-guy-fella, and he was dressed in over-dramatic clothings. He had a robe, and a hat. I didn't even want to look at it though. Most of all, I think I felt that I needed an explanation. I'm sorry, but I felt really bad and nauseous in that moment, and so, I had to do something. I grabbed the guy.   

"What is this place, you jokester?" 

He shoved me off. "Come in and we can talk." 

"No," I said. "You come out and we can talk." I turned around toward some other ponies. "Hey! You know that I didn't even know this place existed? Someone been creating it without even asking for my permission? What's up with that, y'all?" 

Some ponies stopped. The guy with the hat laughed, a sheepish laugh. I could tell that I had him in that moment. He was gonna have to explain this thing in front of all the ponies in the crowd. I had him for sure. 

"Okaaay," I said, looking at him and then to the ponies. "Listen up, ya'll." I looked in his direction. 

He picked off his hat. "I don't really know how this could've happened. Can't you come inside, and we can talk about it?" He looked around, all nervous-like.

"Nnno," I said, pushing my nose against his. "No!" I turned toward the crowd again. "This ends now. I want an explanation. What is Apple-land?"

"'Kay," he said. "I'll explain, but please come inside."

"Charlatan," I said, pointing at him. Then, well, y'know what happens next. 





They were all standing in the middle of the map-room, now! Surrounding Applejack, all did, as she told her little story.





I walked along, thinking that nothing was wrong, talking to the crowd, when another Applejack came up to me.

"Don't be listening to her," she said. "I'm the real Applejack, I am." 

"I don't even talk like that," I said. 





"Okay, so this is the point where thing start getting nutty, not earlier, but now," Applejack said, glaring straight through the room, straight through the heads of all ponies involved in the storytelling procedure. "Follow along now, because you're in a for a crazy ride."





No," I said. "I can prove that I'm the real Applejack." I reached for the letter, but when I looked, it was gone, without any trace, like someone had stolen it, almost like someone had stolen it. Someone had stolen it. "You stole it." I pointed at the other Applejack, who stood in the crowd.

"Me? I ain't no thief," she said.

"That's not even a real southern accent." I stomped my hoof down.

"Why, in all tarnation," the other said.

"Quiet, you." I jumped the other Applejack. She slipped off in another direction.

I looked around. I couldn't see her anymore, but I could see another pony, now a green stallion, with spots, who said, "Applejack would never attack someone. She's the impostor."

"I'm not an impostor," I said, against this silly accusation that he tried to make against me. "She was the impostor. Why did she just try to run off? And where did you come off, if I can ask you, sir?"

"Where did I come from?" he said, pointing at himself. "Whatever do you mean?" The crowd looked at him. More ponies were gathering.

The guy with the big hat still stood there behind me. He said, "Maybe we should go inside. This is drawing a lot of eyes." 

"Do you think I'm an impostor?" I said to him, asking point-blank. He was either gonna answer it or not. That's for sure. I was keeping him on a leash, to make sure he behaved the right way, the way I wanted him to around the crowd, and if he was gonna accuse me, well then, I was gonna accuse him back. And that's what I was going to do. That's how I felt about the whole situation. "Do, you, think, I'm an impostor?" I said again, louder. "No, you come with me." I grabbed him and dragged him into the crowd. He was offering resistance, but I just pushed. I wouldn't stop pushing. I had no plans of doing so. I would keep on going, and continue. This guy, and everything. Why had everyone been so rude and mean around me these last few hours, I thought. Why can't it just- argh. 

I stopped him in the crowd, and I said to him, "Now, you explain yourself to me right now, because I don't know what to do. I had nothing to do with this place, and if I had nothing to do with it, then I can only guess who was behind it. You ever seen a changeling?"

"A change-a-ling?"

"Don't play dumb with me now, mister. No, you know what a changeling is. Either that, or you pulling my leg. Don't be acting stupid now, in front of everyone, and if you lie, I will make you pay for every second of time that you wasted, and that I never get back." 

"O- okay," he said. "Honestly." He turned to the crowd. "I have no idea what's going on. Either this is the real Applejack, or that other one is. I have no idea what's going on. I'm just trying to run a business. Now, I don't know where you grew up," he said, turning to me. "But you don't ever reveal the business, so can we please go inside and talk about this there instead?" 

"Reveal the business?" I said. "Ruh-veal, the, bussinessss." I was about to get really angry, but then I calmed down. "Okay, we walk inside." And we did. 





"Okay, lemme get this straight," I said. He just sat there in front of me, at his typical, corporate-type desk, doing his corporate type-stuff, just sitting there, being a corporation-guy.

"It's business," he said.

"Okay," I said. "So you met this business person mare, person, person, um, person." I honestly was so upset, I had a hard time getting the words out. I have a hard time getting my words out right at this moment. "That was me?" 

"I swear on on my children," he said, hoof to chest. "I have no idea how anything like this could've happened. Like I said, I'm just trying to run my business. Is that so strange? I don't think so. Would you like a cup of coffee?"

"No," I said. "You aren't understanding me. I never signed any stinking, stupid contract."

"Never?"

"Never in all my days have I heard such poppycock."

"Never?"

"Never ever, and for that matter, never. I want you to explain yourself to me right now, or I don't know what I will do." I think I was stressing myself up too much, but you can't blame me. This whole thing is not something that happens normally every day to a pony. To have an amusement park called Apple-land built in your name is something strange, and all of this was running like syrup. No one was responding to me. No one was helping me. Everyone was being unhelpful, if anything, so what do you do in a situation like that? I don't know. I'm just asking. But I was upset with this guy. Make no ifs or buts about that, girls. 

He wasn't upset with me. He was acting all cool and calm, thinking, maybe, that he had the situation under control. If that's what he had been thinking, then he hadn't met the real me. "Also, I demand- I don't even know what I demand. Maybe money for building a darn amusement park in my name? How's that?"

"But we're already sending money to you."

That does it, I thought. "You know, I've been having this conversation with you, trying to make sense of the situation. You been sending money to me? I run an apple farm, with my family. I'm not an amusement park business person. You need to watch your mouth when you're saying these things, and also, I never wanted this. I never wanted this, any of it, to happen. Apple-land? Really? You been sending money to the wrong Applejack? I'm having this place closed down for sure. Just you wait. I'll get in contact with someone, anyone. I won't allow this to continue, and you can kiss your dirty apple money goodbye, forever." I walked, nay, stormed out the guy's office, furious, and fuming with the intention to do something about all this nonsense. Not now, not ever, would I accept it, especially with how degrading and stupid this guy been acting toward me. I would get to the bottom of this, or die trying. That's really how I felt, my lips to your ears. 

I got out of the building. First, I walked toward the exit, but then, I saw the rollercoaster. What in the world, I thought. I walked to the place, the building where the rollercoaster was, and thought that I maybe should be going back, and out the exit, but I wasn't sure. Maybe I should try it out and see what happens, I thought, and I did, and I paid the guy at the entrance, and stood in some line, drawing eyes, and then, a bunch of wild paparazzies, or tourists, same difference, took a bunch of photos of me. I thought about leaving, but I had already paid. Someone came up to me.   

"Hello, Applejack," she said. "I'm your biggest fan."

"What're you a fan of exactly?" I said.

"Just, you're a hero, you saved Equestria several times."

I frowned, couldn't help it. "You not gonna give my friends any credit?"

"Oh, yes, of course. Them too. Can I take your photo?"

"Well, you don't see anyone else asking for permission," I said, not wanting to answer her question, and also, not really caring. I began to realize that standing in this line had been a mistake. I figured leaving, but then, I would've paid those bits for nothing. Oh, what the heck, I thought. I'll endure this, whatever it is. It isn't that bad, I guess. A bunch of ponies, out of nowhere, really out of nowhere, started shouting my name. I still didn't believe it, couldn't believe it was happening.





"Similar to me," Rainbow said. "I couldn't believe it either. That was a pretty nuts day."

"Nuts," Applejack said. "Nutty."

"Crazy," Pinkie said.

"My day was pretty normal." Everyone looked to Fluttershy. She just stood there, being quiet. "Never mind," she said.

"Well, good for you," Rainbow said, mock-clapping. "I'm jealous. Super-jealous."

"Hard days build character," Applejack said, crossing one leg in front of the other.

"Hard days also build wounds, terrible wounds," Rainbow said. "What a bunch of posh." 

"Well, whatever," Applejack said.

"Full of poppycock," Rainbow said.

"Can I just tell my story?" Applejack said.

"Yes, I never stopped you."

Applejack nodded. "Then hear this."





I kept going about my day, waiting in this crazy line that seemed to go on forever. Timewise, I was stuck here, stuck in the mud. Not able to move! I think I waited for a good thirty minutes before I reached the end of that line. Now, I was forced to talk to all these strangers, and it isn't that I don't like talking, so don't you be thinking that I'm complaining or nothing, but these ponies weren't really acting like your normal conversation partner. They were really on me, and I felt like I couldn't get away, because what? Was I gonna walk out the line? Yeah, right. I paid money, and I believe that when you've started something, you should see it through. It's a policy o' mine, y'hear?

Yes, so then, I walked in the rollercoaster, and there wasn't much drama or bling. Off we went, into the skies. We just kept going and going and going. I felt nauseous, but I also learned an important lesson that day. I don't think I like rollercoasters very much, and I don't see what them have to do with apples. But then, I also learned another important lesson, and that's that you should always watch your back. From behind me, and I didn't even know where it was coming from, but something came flying. What was it? Was it a pie? No, I'll tell you what it was. You might find this thing interesting, maybe not, and that's that I was being put out of awareness by a dart that came flying out of nowhere, hit me in the head, of all places.  

Now, where have we heard of that before? Whoever would ever do such a thing? Well, I'll tell you who. I won't bury the lead, the way Rainbow did. It was a person by the name of Esceforn. How do I know his name? Well, this happened. You following this? This is one of the dumbest things that ever done happened. I woke up in a tiny room with a lamp.

"Boy, that was a close one," I said, or at least my voice did. I wasn't the one who said it. Who did? I looked around, searching for the source of the voice, not knowing where it come from, and then it struck me. I looked at my hooves. They were black. 

"What?" I said.

Applejack, well me, walked out of the shadows. She looked at me. "Well, well, well, what have we here?" she said. "Look what the cat dragged in. If it isn't a changeling, by the name of." She paused, pressing her hoof into her cheek, thinking. "What be your name, my little friend?" It wasn't my accent anymore, not even close now. It sounded like a mix of accents.

"I'm Applejack," I said. "Let me go."

"You can't be you anymore. Look at your body."

My hoof didn't have holes in it, like those of a real changeling, and now, when I was really paying attention, I saw that the black on my hooves smudged on ropes that I was tied in, and then I realized, right then and there, I was tied in ropes. "When I get out of here," I said, "why, I don't even know what I will do." 

"When," the other Applejack said, "is a darn tootin' word. What a good fun word." She swung her hoof, and nodded. "What's-a you doin', Applefreak? Trying to ruin my plans. Now, that's not very nice, is it? T-t-t-t," she said, smacking her lips. "What to do with you? Do we dare just letting you run out there?" She pointed to the wall. "And let you keep on drawing everyone's cotton-picking attention to you? Nah, I don't think so." 

"What are you going to do?" I said.

The Applejack-copy of me that stood in front of me turned back into a changeling. He had a curious scar over his right eye. I wonder if he had been abused. "My name's Esceforn," he said, reaching out his hoof to me. I realized that this changeling was the only one I know of, except for Thorax's brother, that is still black, not green, like the rest of them. 

He laughed. "Oh, right." I wiggled in my ropes, trying to get loose. "Well, that's too forlorn. Too oooh," he said, holding his head. "Oh, I need to get out of here. I don't feel to good when you're there, and I'm here, near, fear? Yes, I fear, who? You, you I fear, and why? Ay, I guess I will tell ya, and that's your stupid, no good policy of honesty, you hear me? I can't event think straight." He sank down on the floor.

"You aren't just normal-crazy," I said. "You're on another level of crazy. Something's happened to you. Untie these here ropes. Let me help you."

"I think," he said, standing up, "that we could maybe help each other. Ugh! I- nnnother," he said, groaning. "Can't think of a rhyme. Time? No! I don't feel very nice, right now. How? I- I can't think."

"Seriously, this is not good," I said. "Just untie me and we can talk about this."

"No, you're lying," he said. "Or wait, no. You're not-t-t-t-t, lying? Flying? Sorry. Sorry. I can't stop rhyming."

"You acting like you're manic," I said. "I seen this before. Lemme help ya."

"Business," he said, "is running smoothly. And business, running smoothly, soothly, softly soothing, brooding?"

"Why can't you stop rhyming?"

"I don't know," he said. "I really don't know nothing about no-how, to show. That was a better one though, no? I did it again. I feel like I'm, ten? No, I feel good. Really good, I feel like, would, I be, if you." He grabbed his own head and walked to the wall. "Stupid." He leaned against the wall, and sank down. "I'm so stupid, stuped-id, being stuped, stupe, ugh! I should've just told you the truth to begin with- with- with." He turned back into Applejack.

"Why can I never just be myself?"

"Oooh, I see. When you've turned into other ponies, you don't have to rhyme."

"Yes."

I nodded at that. "So you have to live your life as other ponies. I can see why that can be a hassle. Can you untie me now?"

"Everything was going so well," she, the now Applejack, said. "Can't you just join me? We could build Apple-land together. It can be a huge thing. Huge. Huge." She drew her hoof across the air, to show the hugeness of what she was talking 'bout. "Huge."

"Join you? Please, my friend. You need mental help, and this place needs a good shutting down before it hurts anyone."

"But it's so safe. It's extremely safe." She poked her own chest. "It's part of my apple-bucking policy."

"Okay, we don't use that in that, um, context, y'hear? Just untie me now."

He untied me. "I be sorry for all this, Applefreak. I just want to talk. That be all."

"Who you calling a freak? I'm no freak. I just wanted to know what was going on." I saw I had been tied to a chair, so I stepped off, and now I was free. "I don't know anything about anything about this place. I wanted answers, real answers."

"I'm the answer," Esceforn said, still looking like me. "Ta-daa." She turned into the keeper of the carnival, the custodian, the guy I had talked to before.

"That was you?"

"Who?" he said, now looking a little nervous. He stared around, like we were surrounded by ponies. "I'm just trying to run my business."

He turned back into a changeling. "I can proudly say that I'm about forty ponies, but truth is, get this, they're all phonies. They're all just me, to a T, every last one, is one, and that's me. Haha!" He laughed. He breathed heavily. "Stop rhyming. Liming. Rhyming. Whybgrngtrnging-ing-ing-ing, unngh, no. Oh."  

"Why do you want to stop rhyming?" I said.

"Ever since I was small," he said. "Oh, as if you would recall, and understand, it all."

"You know," I said. "You're actually pretty good when you're not trying not to rhyme." I was trying to keep it cool. Who knows? Maybe I could help this person, maybe, I thought. This was just a sad story, all-around.

He shook his head. "Everyone just looks at me as the person that rhymes. I can do other things than these mimes. I don't have to repeat all the times, for ponies to get what I'm, s-s-stop meee!" He plugged his hoof into his mouth. "This is not good. I don't want this, and I don't think you would."

"I met a person that could rhyme. Her name was Zecora. She was really nice," I said. "I distrusted her at first, but then I became friends with her."

"I will find her," he said, running out the door. "Thank you, um, sir?" I skirted after him, but he was already far away. 

"Don't do this." I tried to yell at him. "Just talk to me. Gosh darn it!" I kicked the door that I had just run out of, and I kicked off the hinges.





Rainbow grinned from one ear to the other. "It's that patented athlete-strength."

"I'm not an athlete," Applejack said.

"Honorary athlete," Rainbow said, winking.

"Anyway, again, I will continue."





I got out in the amusement park, but I saw no trace of the person. Instead, the guy with the big top-hat came up to me. "Hello," he said, smiling. "How are we doing today? I'm sorry about earlier. I get a little crazy when I'm not in character."

"Crazy?" I said. "In character?" I shook my head. "No, the crazy thing is that you're in character to begin with, and where did you get that stupid hat from? Take it off." I grabbed the hat.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "I thought I could just manipulate you, but I think that manipulating ponies isn't as easy maybe, when they're being honest. You're a good old hardworking pony," he said. "I want to get to Ponyville to meet Zecora, this person that you mentioned before." He motioned his hoof to the side, all nonchalant. "But first, I want to reward you. How about this? I give you ten-thousand bits, a month, and we never mention this again. Deal?" He reached out his hoof for me to shake it.

"You said that you were forty old ponies?"

"Not so loud," he whispered into my ear. "This is a show, all of it. Look around." I did. Around me were what's at any old carnival, including candy apples, which I guess is kind of funny, when you think about it. There were joy-rides, silly games, and cotton candy, the whole rundown. Anyway, then he said, "I only want to amuse ponies. I want to entertain them. It's always just been a show."   

"That's why you could never be yourself?" I said. 

He just stared at me. "I need to go," he said, running off. I thought I saw a tear in his eye.

"You come back here," I said. He ran toward the train station. "Wait. Don't do anything crazy now. Let's just talk, please."

"They all laughed at me," he said, sniveling. "Well, they won't laugh when I'm done."

How much I had learned about this person in just the short while since I had met him! He didn't have anyone to talk to. He was alone, with no friends to speak of. It's really a tragic story when you think about it. It isn't fun, and it isn't good, not at all. And I still don't know what happened to him, but I decided that now, following with him on the train was priority number one.  





"C'mon," I said. "Everything will be fine." Esceforn, the real Esceforn, was sitting in front of me, crying.

"I just don't know who I am," he said. "I've been everything, but- but." He wheezed. "A lamb. I'm just silly. I'm just the silly guy who rhymes, goes off all willy-nilly, and, and." He sniveled. In front of him were a hundred pieces of paper towel, just scattered around the little seat of the train. "Oh, I don't know. I can't do, um, have nothing to show. I'm a no, of a boy! A bowww." Now, this is important, you guys, and it will explain a lot of what's been going on with him. This guy was obviously trying not to rhyme, and he was finding it hard, just stumbling over his words. He said a sentence, and another one, and he would just keep his mouth shut, and then a rhyme would just come out. This is really a sad story, you guys, but still, that just means he needs some help, and he wasn't even willing to talk to me. He was just whining. We were getting to Ponyville. What was he gonna do there? That just doesn't seem good at all. I figured that with the way he had been acting, tying me down, he could be dangerous. He could be a health-hazard for everyone around him, you know.   

And it's not as if it was that a big a problem. He was just ashamed of his own rhyming. That can happen. He had been around ponies, or changelings rather, I guess, that didn't treat him so good, and you all know that when the hive began, I mean, before Thorax and everything, it was about strength, and toughness, which are good things, sure, but it wasn't about love, and this guy, I think, needed some love, but I wasn't the one to give it to him. He had already bothered me enough, and he had put me unconscious in the middle of a rollercoaster, which does sound, I think, to me at least, a tad dangerous, just a tad, and he tied me to this chair, and then he let me go, but make no mistake. This guy was ashamed of something. I can't even tell really what it is, but we've helped reform ponies before, helped them find friendship. This is how I look at it, if you ask me. We could help him. I just hope there's enough time.





"There's always time," Twilight said, "to change."

"I sure do hope so," Applejack said, from the middle of the map room, where she was standing, looking out at the rest, including Derpy, who had now joined them. "I sure hope so."

Derpy had a thinking expression on her face. "Hm," she said.

Really, in that moment, all eyes turned to her. "What is it?" Twilight said. 

"Oh, nothing." Derpy just looked at Applejack, prodding her to continue. Applejack did, but what Derpy had on her mind, unbeknownst to her, was something that would actually be really helpful for Applejack to hear, and what had happened in the last day, when she met with Zecora, and Zecora had trouble rhyming, that was still on her memory. Applejack went on, but now, it seemed, that the friends were close to solving this mystery, without even really being aware of it themselves.  





I followed the guy off the train. He ran off into Ponyville. I ran after him. Then I lost him. Then I saw Pinkie Pie. I knew that this guy was crazy, but I also wanted to confirm whether the person in front of me was Pinkie Pie, or rather, I had to. What else was I going to do, with all the things that had been going on?

"Pinkie," I said. "Tell me something only you would know."

"You're funny," she said. "Lemme think about it. I think, um, you lived in Manehattan as a child, am I right?"  

"Meh, good enough," I said, and then I kept running. Pinkie ran after me. 

"You barn gets destroyed every year and then you have to rebuild it. No. No. Everyone knows that." She looked away into the distance, concentrating. "You know, Applejack, maybe you're right. Maybe we should meet sometime and get to know each other better." 





"Thaaat wasn't me," Pinkie said.

"Meh," Applejack said. "Seemed you enough."

Rainbow landed beside Pinkie, inside the map room. "Was that not you either when I flew to the hospital with Twilight?"

"No, that was me for sure, that time," she said.

"You said that was you." Rainbow nodded.

"Yes," Pinkie said.

"Didn't you also say it was you the time you met Applejack," Rainbow said.

"No," Pinkie said. "That was another time."

Rainbow sighed audibly. "This is getting confusing."

"Not even getting started yet," Applejack said.





"I need to get to Zecora," I said to Pinkie.

"Why?" she said.

"There's this changeling. I need to help him for sure. He's acting crazy."

"Okay," she said, running beside me. "You want me to follow you?"

"Maybe." I shook my head, just feeling unsure. "I think I could use some help."

"Okay," she said. We kept running. We didn't stop. This had been a crazy day, and it would get crazier yet. I keep using that word, 'cause that's what I feel. I was like feeling crazy now. I ran toward the forest. I thought that the forest is safer nowadays, and I need really no one else to help but Pinkie, and we reached Zecora's, but when we got there, Derpy was there too. She was delivering something. I didn't even see what it was. It was some kind of package or another.    





"Wait," Derpy said. "This is all wrong," now inside the map room, not the forest, she said this. "I don't think that's the way it happened at all."

"Well, you were there," Applejack said. "You have anything to add that I didn't mention? Or maybe I could've said it better. Is that it?"

"No, you don't understand," she said. "I didn't meet you there." 

"What the heck," Applejack said. "Holy heck."

Pinkie raised a single eyebrow, looking at Derpy. "But we couldn't both have been changelings."

"Isn't this easily explainable?" Twilight said. "We know that there were two changelings, in total, not one."

"But the other one was duped by Esceforn," Applejack said. "And wasn't he with you the whole time, Twilight?" 

"No," she said. "Or yes? No. He was with me- when, um- he, when did this all happen, Applejack?"

"I don't know," she said. "It's not as if I have a clock with me all the time."

"This is getting way too complicated," Rainbow said. "This is getting out of hoof."

Rarity stepped into the conversation. She had been more on the outskirts. "I don't really know what to say to all this. I have no idea what's going on, myself."

"Yeeeah," Applejack said, slowly. "No idea. Derpy." Derpy flinched, hearing her own name. "Were you ever in the swamp that day?"

"Sure I was. I was delivering a package for Zecora. But, um, okay, I know how that sounds."

"Can you do the spell again?" Rainbow said to Twilight. Twilight did, but on Rainbow rather, not Derpy. "Okay, I deserved that maybe," Rainbow said, now humbled. 

"I don't know what's going on," Derpy said. "I was trying to have a good day, and then all this. I heard about all this, and I don't know what to say, about- about anything."

"You and me both," Rarity said. She had a trouble finding the words, indubitably. Without a doubt, the whole situation confused her a great deal, a lot, and that's the truth of it. "I don't even know," she said. "Escoforn? Never in my days have I been through such a strange situation."   

"Yes," Pinkie said. "What is this? What even is this?"

"Life is strange," Applejack said. "Life is strange." 





Just to clarify what happened, so there's no confusion. Yes, I met Derpy there, and I said hello to her, and there was nothing else that happened, really, and Zecora was okay. I even talked to her. I can't even remember what she said, some rhymes about how she was okay. Was she okay? I don't even know, but at least, I got the chance to talk to her. Now, both Pinkie, Derpy, and her couldn't have been changelings. That's too far, you guys.

I stayed with Zecora a little bit. I felt the urge to even just go back to my farm and forget about this whole thing. This whole thing had been a step too far. I didn't really even feel like I could deal with it, to be honest with you. I felt famished too. What had I eaten? Sugar candy? That's not, I mean, barely even real food, to tell you the truth. It's not something you can live on. No offense, Pinkie. 





Pinkie laughed. "Don't knock it."

"No. Something is seriously wrong here," Derpy said. "I just know it, and I met Zecora the other day, and she had trouble rhyming. Zecora would never have trouble rhyming."

"When and where?" Rainbow said.

"She was inside her house, and it was late in the day, almost sundown."

"Okay, so that's kind of really horrible to hear," Rainbow said. "Someone needs to go there right now and see that she's okay. Stat." 

Everyone agreed with Rainbow Dash, and so it was, and so, three of the seven friends were off to explore, while Applejack stayed where she had been to tell the story. Guess which three were off to Everfree.





"This is so not awesome."

"I think this is fun."

"Stop acting uncouth, both of you."

The three friends sneaked around the corner of a tree, trying to maintain the element of surprise as they crept forward through the forest-floor, not wanting to attract too much attention. They remained calm, within themselves, serene, but also, very, very cautious, careful, and keeping on creeping onward through the forest-floor, remaining on the ground, remaining creeping forward, careful, and serene, and then a net fell over them.

"Oh no," Rarity said.

"Well, well, well," a voice said from a bush. "Why, I could hear you coming from hell, because you're so loud, head in a cloud. Heheheh." The voice snickered. "Hehehe." 

"Gee," Rainbow said. "I wonder who that could be."

"I could be anyone," Esceforn said, standing up from the tiny bush that he had been hiding in. "Even you, my hun."

"I'm not your hun, you creep," Rainbow said, trying to get loose. "What's the matter with you? We haven't done anything to you."

"What the matter with me? I'm the one that evil be. Is that right? You don't want to fight. No, not with me, you don't, and better yet, my little rainbow-y friend, you won't." The net then ascended upward into a tree to which it was attached. "Haha!" he said. "I'm a genius. Catching you in this net has benefit, yus, for as long as you lay there, you can never harm me, or anyone else, down here." 

"I think you're the one that's harming ponies," Pinkie said, of all ponies. "Don't do this."

"What do you know?" he said. He turned toward the house. Zecora was standing in the door-opening. "Didn't I tie you... oh." Zecora kicked him in the face. "I see stars," he said. "Is that jars?" He stumbled around and fell on the ground. "Granny, I'm home. Don't leave the cookies hanging, on the- on the, comb."   

"I'll help," Zecora said. "Don't whelp."

"I wasn't planning to," Rainbow said.

Rarity burst out, "Just get us out of here."

Zecora went and grabbed the rope of the net, fidgeting with it, and the net fell down. 

"In all my days," Rarity said. 

"Oh, come on. You've been through worse things than this." Rainbow brushed against Rarity and walked up to Zecora. 

"You've been tied down? I'm so sorry. This whole thing has been dumb. I hope we can at least put it past us now."

"Me too," Zecora said. "You know what he'd do? He said he would kill me. He's a danger to everyone, including you three." 

Pinkie glared and turned her head away, looking mighty skeptical. "You said he said that? Why? We never have any villains that say things like that." 

"Darling," Rarity said to Pinkie.

"Darling? I'm listening," Pinkie said.

"We have met many villains that yes, didn't say that, but did they try to kill us? Sure."

Pinkie pushed ponderingly ahead through her thoughts. "I know that, but no, something's fishy about this whole here situation. I don't know what, but I can feel it. It's my Pinkie-sense." Pinkie pointed at her head. "You always trust my Pinkie-sense, don't you? I don't know if I don't feel it first, and I feel that something's seriously wrong, in the situation." 

"In the situation," Rarity said, somewhat dismissively. 

"Yes, the situation. You have to listen. I think–"

The sound of horn came through the woods. "Okay," Rainbow said. "Does that have anything to do with it?"

A swarm of spiders came out of the bushes. "Run," Rainbow said.

"Mwahahaha," a voice said. The bushes and trees in all the area around Zecora's house rustled, and then, a giant spider, twice the size of any of the ponies came out. The spider had a single wooden legs, seven normal spider-legs, and a hat with a skull on it. 

"I'm running," Pinkie said. The spiders pulled her in. The more she moved her feet, the more she was sucked in. Then, ropes surrounded the ponies, and Zecora, and bound them.

"I told you I would find you, didn't I?" Captain Spider said. "You've been a fool to try to escape my spidery clutches." A jelly fish that also only had one wooden leg, and the rest jelly-legs, came crawling across the wooden floor.

"I'm reporting for duty, Captain," the jelly-fish said.

"Oh-ho!" Captain Spider said. "Matey Jelly. What a pleasure to see you here. Hohoho."

"Okay, whatever," Rainbow said, slowly being sucked down. "Didn't we defeat you and stuff?" 

"But now," Captain Spider said. "You will need to defeat me again. Where are my children?"

"You're still harping on that?" Rainbow snarled at him. "Just go away. Stop being stupid."

"I'm sure," Rarity said, "that Fluttershy could help find them for you."

"She'd better," he said. "She'd better. Matey Jelly here didn't cut off her jelly-leg for nothing."

"She cut off her leg so she could be a pirate," Rarity said. "That has nothing to do with it."

"Yes," Captain Spider said, "but you're making her fail at her work with you misdirections. Never has piracy been so hard. You're hurting her feelings." The jelly-fish crawled up. 

"Thanks for the emotional support, Captain Spider." She sniffed. "I don't know. I just thought I could be a good pirate." She sniveled. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"There, there, Jelly. There, there," Captain Spider said. "Now." He turned to Rainbow Dash. "I hope you all have a good explanation for all of this."

"Shut up," Rainbow said.

"Now, wait just a minute," Rarity said, putting Rainbow in her place. "Can't you see that poor jelly-fish over there is upset?"

"Stop being stupid, Rarity."

Pinkie smiled, and the smile went over to a grin. "I know. If we go to Twilight and the others, maybe they could help you find your pals, and maybe you could even steal a few things from us." She winked. Rainbow Dash groaned. Rarity laughed.

Captain Spider drew out a sword. "What a swell idea. Let's go plundering. We'll have you all walk the plank, and then you can tell us where to find the booty, in that order."

"Whatever," Rainbow said. She wiggled in her ropes, but to no avail. This time, she wasn't fast enough. "We defeated one villain, and then the next one comes and takes his place, immediately."

Esceforn stood up shakily. He had been unconscious a while, but now he woke up. "What a- what is going on here? Do I see a spider there?" He squinted, not really able to see well. The ropes went around him too, spiders crawling and tying him up, swarming all over the place. "Okay, so this is annoying. My escape plan, I'm deploying." He turned into a tiny filly, but the ropes just followed the contours of his body, and squeezed him further. 

"My escape plan!" the little filly said, with a squeaky voice.  

Captain Spider swung his sword around. "We'll have you all walk the plank."

Pinkie stifled a laugh. "You're silly."

"Why do you have to be so mean?" Captain Spider said. "What have I ever done to you? I'll show you." Captain Spider put two of his long spindly arms to his mouth and whistled. A bunch of characters came out the woods, including a tiny hare, with an eyepatch, and a fox, looking glum. There was also a manatee, awkwardly crawling and rolling across the ground. "Take them to the ship. We'll teach them a lesson in pirate 101, one that they will never forget, and when they tell their friends, their friends will wheeze, and they will remember the name, Captain Spider!"    

"That's not even a real name," Rainbow said, pointing at him angrily.

Captain Spider waved his arm. "Take them away."





"Applejack, reporting for duty," Applejack said.

Twilight nodded, gravely, frowning, staring, harshly, cold. "Then let's go see if our friends are okay. Okay, everybody?"

"I'm coming too," Derpy said.

Applejack nodded at that. "If you must."





As alluded, the four friends that are left in the map room go out, seeking to help their friends, but they discover something very strange, very peculiar, and that's something that frightened them. They didn't know what to do. Their friends were trapped, but where? 

"I can't find them anywhere," Derpy said, searching around the little cottage of Zecora. "Where in the world could they be?"

"I sure don't know," Twilight said, looking at the spilled-out cauldron, the contents lying all over the floor. "But we'll find out where. Maybe this Esceforn is more dangerous than I gave him credit for."

"Pish-posh," Applejack said, flinging her hoof dismissively. "Dangerous? My granny is more dangerous, for true." 

"He had the darts," Fluttershy said. "That seems pretty dangerous to me."

"Meh." Applejack shrugged. "I have my lasso." She picked out her lasso, only Celestia knowing where she could've hidden it. "When I find him, I'll show him what's what."

"We have no idea where they are," Twilight said. "This is a serious problem."





Back in the harbor, a ship was attached and bound to shore. It was a giant pirate ship made of hard chip wood. It really was a sight to behold, for sure. For true, as Applejack said, their friends were here, Esceforn incapacitated, really, being less dangerous than the threat at hand, the threat of swashbucklery.  

"Har-har-har," Captain Spider said, dancing around the ship. Matey Jelly was playing the accordion. "Ho-ho, such jolly good tunes." Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie, and Esceforn were tied to the mast of the ship, with a rope going around it, fastening them to their sedentary, harshly lonely position, lonely save for the evil pirates. 

The manatee wiggled back and forth, also sedentary, not really moving much. The little hare jumped up and down. "Captain. Captain," he said. "Let's play cards. Let's walk the plank. And then, they can walk the plank."

"Let's all walk the plank," Captain Spider said. "Untie them first. Then they can walk the plank."

"We could just swim ashore," Pinkie said.

"Shut up, you pink pudding-head," Rainbow said, aghast at Pinkie's outwardness. 

Captain Spider drew out his sword. "Then we'll capture them, and force them to walk the plank again, and they will get really wet, and it will be really, really annoying for them. Mwahahaha!"

"Okay, okay," Escoforn said, still turned into a little filly, looking ridiculously small compared to the rest of them. "I'll make you a deal. I am the richest changeling in all the land, buddy. Old matey. Heheh." Captain Spider pointed his sword at Esceforn.  

"Who you calling matey, matey?" Esceforn got all quiet. "I'll show you what for," Captain Spider said. "I will make you pay for your disrespect. Make him walk the plank!"

"Okay," Esceforn said. "It's not as if I had anything better to do anyway. What a day. You know, the last day was one of the worst days of my life." Esceforn, more and more, took on the guise of a filly, his speech patterns changing, which disturbed the other ponies a little bit.

"Esceforn," Rarity said. "Whatever you've been through, just know that you're around ponies that care and want to help you. We want to make everything better."

"Bwa-haa," Captain Spider said. "Look how sweet."

Matey Jelly stopped playing her accordion and just burst out laughing, and then, the place got quiet. 

"Say," Captain Spider said, "maybe we could have some use for you landlubbers after all. You said you had a crazy day, little crabby."

"You talkin' to me?" Esceforn said.

"Tell us about how your day was. We might even give you a treat."

Esceforn nodded. "I'd like a treat." He opened his mouth, looking excited.

"Like, what is wrong with that guy?" Rainbow said.

"Oh-hooo?" Captain Spider said. "It looks like we got company." Twilight and the gang came running, and Twilight shot a beam of magic. "Not this time," Captain Spider said. "Not this time." He held up his sword. The magic got absorbed into the sword, flying into it, and disappearing. "Now, arrest them too." He pointed the sword at the other ponies. Spiders began crawling out of holes and crevices in the ground around the ship, at shore.

"Oh, poo," Applejack said.

Twilight and Fluttershy flew up in the air, but the spiders swarmed around them, piling on top of each other, drawing them down. "Noo!" Twilight said. "Not again."

Twilight, Fluttershy, and Applejack were pulled onto the ship, and tied around the mast, but then, Captain Spider said, "I want the purple one. She knows the way to the trident." Twilight was untied and engulfed by spiders, that held her up in front of Captain Spider at eye-level. "I told you we weren't done yet, purple pony."

"You have no idea what you're messing with," Twilight said. "The sea-ponies need the trident to survive."

"Blurgh-hur-hur," Captain Spider laughed. "Enough of your lies."

"Hey, guys," Applejack said, tied to the mast along with the rest of them, in a circle around it, one next to the other. 

Twilight's horn lit up, but its light faded, flying into Captain Spider's sword. "A powerful artifact to be sure," he said. "I'll make sure not to lose this sword. It holds the key to my weakness."

"That's good to know," Twilight said, staring at the sword.

"Har-har-har. You can never defeat me," Captain Spider said.

Twilight's mouth was agape. "We just did before."

"Yes," he said. "But that's old hat. Old history. Now, nothing can stop me." He held up the sword in the air. Twilight aimed her horn at it and fired. Magic pinged off it, and it fell out of his hand. "My sword," he yelled, running for it. As he did, Twilight grabbed the swarm of spiders around her and made it disperse, hovering them off in different directions. Captain Spider picked up the sword, but just as he did, Twilight shot magic at him, and a bubble formed around them. "What is this witchcraft?" he said.

"I don't know," Twilight said, looking just as confused as he was. "We're being, pulled?" The sword pointed upward. Captain Spider held on to it, and flew up into the air. Twilight followed. She was stuck in the bottom of the bubble. It was like a giant cocoon, and looked like a soap bubble. Twilight's horn lit up, but nothing happened. "We're stuck," she said.  

"The sword," Captain Spider said. "It knows the way to the trident. This is the sword I was looking for all along. How could I not see it?"

"I will never let you get ahold of it!" Twilight yelled, furious.

"We'll see about that," he said.

The bubble lifted, shaking up and down, and then, the bubble dived down into the sea and disappeared. "You don't know–" Captain Spider said, and then, the sound got quiet. The other pirates ran to the edge of the ship, looking as the bubble sank down into the deep blue sea.

"They're gone," Matey Jelly said. Then, she turned toward the other ponies that were tied to the mast. "Now, who wants to walk the plank?"

"I know," Pinkie said.

Rainbow writhed in her ropes. "Shut up!" she said to Pinkie.

"Rainbow," Applejack said. "I don't know who taught you your manners."

"Oh, whatever." Rainbow pouted.

"You shouldn't be like that, most of all to Pinkie. She's Pinkie, for apple's sake."

"I thought," Pinkie said. "That instead of throwing us overboard, we could finish our stories. It's what Captain Spider would've liked."

"It's better than killing us," Applejack said.

Rainbow Dash groaned, and sighed. "They weren't even gonna kill us. They're stupid. They're not even real pirates."

"Heeey," Matey Jelly said. "I think that pink pony has a point."

"But if we don't like the story, you walk the plank," the little hare said, jumping up to them.

"Whatever," Rainbow said. "And why does Twilight get to go on the epic adventure while we're stuck here? I feel like this always happens."

"It doesn't always happen," Applejack said.

"Shut up," Rainbow said.

"No, you shut up," Applejack said.

"Who wants to start?" Matey Jelly yelled, grinning, crawling back and forth between the ponies. 

"You do the honor," Rainbow said.

Derpy whimpered. "Why do you all have to fight?"

"Okay, now you upset Derpy," Rainbow said, trying to get a better look at Applejack, so she could give her the evil eye.

"I upset her? No, you're the one that started all this." 

"Okay, okay." Matey Jelly moved her jelly-arms up and down. "You calm down. We can resolve this like adults."

"This is stupid," Rainbow Dash said.

Applejack spoke louder. "It doesn't matter if it's stupid. We just all have to accept this. What choice do any of us have, anyway?"

Matey Jelly crawled off to the edge of the ship. "Why do you have to be so loud? You're all just being mean to each other for no reason." 

The hare jumped to her. "C'mon, Jelly," he said. "Simmer up." He faced the ponies. "If I didn't know any better, I would say you're the villains here."

Rainbow just stared. "What? No, we're totally the heroes. Oh, no. Are you for real?" Rainbow was upset that she had upset Matey Jelly, and now, she was having regrets. "No. No. I'll tell my story. Just listen."

"But you already did it," Applejack said.

"Okay, you do it. I don't even care," Rainbow said, trying to remain calm.





I got off the train. I got to meet Pinkie. We went to Zecora. We met Derpy, but we didn't, but I don't know what happened. And then, we got separated in different directions, just going off all over, and I don't even know. I went back to Ponyville, and then, I met Rainbow Dash.





"Did you though?" Rainbow said. "Did you really meet me?"

"That's exactly why we were telling these stories in the first place," Applejack said. "Inconsistencies all over."

"Hey!" Esceforn said, still a filly. She was little, with cyan mane, and magenta fur. "Maybe I could be of some help." 

"Yeah, wait a minute," Rainbow said. "We could just ask Esceforn what happened."

"I hope so," Esceforn said. "I'm not sure what is all you're talking about. It's true that I was pretending to be Zecora, and Applejack, and a circus custodian person thing."

"You don't have to talk like a child," Rainbow said. "We know it's you."

"Can I offer a suggestion?" Rarity said, from the other end of the mast.

"If you must." Rainbow shook her head, and relaxed down into her ropes a little, accepting her position now.

"Maybe we could all take turns, trying to make sense of what happened."

"It won't make no difference," Applejack said, looking at Esceforn, "if he keeps lying about what happened."

"It's a she," Esceforn said.

"No, I'm pretty sure it's he," Applejack croaked. "Just stop with your funny business already."

"Okay," Esceforn said, "but I'm afraid that if I turn back to my true form, the ropes will all sort of explode, and then, I don't even know what I will do."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Applejack said.

"But what if I get exploded too?"

"Okay, point taken I guess." Applejack reached to scratch her head, or maybe grab her hat for a second, but she remembered that she was being tied down. "This is too bad." She relaxed down into the ropes too, as Rainbow had.

"Esceforn," Applejack said. "Either you're lying, or, hm, but even if you're lying, that still doesn't explain how there could've been a fake Derpy, Pinkie, and maybe Spike at Twilight's castle." 

Rainbow looked at Applejack. "This is where things start getting confusing again."

"Really," Applejack said. "If both Pinkie and Derpy were changelings, and Zecora wasn't, but later, she was, and then, Pinkie wasn't, who would even do such a thing? Just to confuse us to pieces?"

"I don't know," Pinkie said. "But it's no good."

"Maybe I can help," Esceforn said. 

Applejack didn't know what to think, but she was open to all possibilities. "Why do you want to help anyway? You're the one that wanted to open an amusement park in my name and have my signature on it and all that nonsense. What kind of help is that? And shooting darts at ponies isn't very nice." 

"I haven't been around ponies all that much," he said.

"Don't be smart with me."

"No, I'm serious. I used to play games with these darts back at the hive." He giggled. "It was fun. I'll tell you that." His voice had now entirely transformed to the cadence and articulation of a small child. 

"Ugh," Applejack said, shuddering. "I'll just continue with my story."





I was just going through my day, like normal. Everything was normal. Everything was what it was. It is what it is. That's what it be, and everything that it will be, and so, and then, and everything got crazy.

I got back to Ponyville, meeting Rarity. She said she was looking for Pinkie, because Rainbow Dash had told her that Pinkie had spiders in her hair, and Rarity, understanding that Pinkie was scared wanted to help, of course.

That wasn't Rarity. It was an imposter, who somehow pretended to be a pony I've known for years, without me noticing.  

I met Fluttershy, and that's what it is. Fluttershy is Fluttershy. Was she an imposter? We don't think so, but who knows?

Then, there was the whole thing with Twilight and the thing. I saw me, myself, talking to Pinkie, and then I ran after her, and through Twilight's door, but when I got there, there were two of me, and this whole thing had gotten way out of hand.

Still, I had to keep calm and steady. I tried to talk it out with them, and make it clear what was going on, but one thing happened after the next, and then, one of the Applejacks escaped. I ran after her. Who is a changeling? No one, apparently, because Twilight's spell worked on no one. 





"Whoa, slow down," Pinkie said. "Calm your chickens."

"I am calm," Applejack said from her seated position inside the ropes of the pirate ship of Captain Spider, where all the ponies were as yet currently located. "You be calm. Let us get through this already."

"But you're skipping over all the details."

"I am?"

"Yes," Pinkie squeaked. "And I don't remember you running past me, or any- wait a second. No, you ran past me, and then, but that doesn't make any sense!"

"Sorry, Pinkie, but I wanna get through this like Rainbow Dash said."





One thing came, and then another, and I don't even know what I think about all this. The other Applejack was running to my farm, our farm, my family's farm, and I had to get worried now that she was going to put my family in danger. What's the deal with that?  

But I got after her and I swung my lasso, and I caught her in it, and that wasn't a big deal, but then, something else happened. Another Applejack came, like a second one, a third one, I guess? She was all gung-ho. I just wanted to talk. This whole thing had gotten twenty miles out of hoof, at least! I just wanted to talk, and then, and then, what? I don't even know. I woke up like an hour later.    





Rainbow laughed. "This is like one of those crazy math problems that you get in school, and the more you think about it, the more impossible it gets to solve. I mean, sure, really, Twilight can do the spell on all of us, and then she can have a second pony, Starlight, do the spell on her to make sure that she's not a changeling, and then, another pony can do it on Starlight, but none of this solves anything. Like, it shouldn't be that hard to remember and keep track of where six ponies have been, especially when those ponies know each other and are close friends." 

"Seven," Derpy said.

"Yes, you too, Derpy." Rainbow smiled at Derpy, and then, she shook her head, and then she just stared, wide-eyed, empty-eyed, into nothingness. "I don't know. Maybe there's a second changeling, someone other than Esceforn, that's been pulling the wool over our eyes." 

"I don't know about you," Esceforn chirped, "but I'm right darn sure that there hasn't been a second changeling around."

"Sure there has been," Rainbow said. "Don't you remember that guy you used to trick Twilight when she was in her castle?"

"Who?" Esceforn said, mumbling something. "Um, urgh, um, what? No way."

"He's just trying to trick ya. He's lying," Applejack said. "He's a terrible liar. C'mon, now, Rainbow Dash. Get a grip."

Rainbow turned to her. "Continue with your story, oh, apple of my eye." 

"I shall."





One thing led to the other, and then of course, I was poison-darted, again, for the second time, by none other than the guy that's sitting here beside us.

I woke up inside my own barn. Pinkie came, and Twilight came along with her. Now, I was really confused, and doubting everything. Were all of these changelings? I can't even say the first thing about any of- I don't even know, you guys, but that's what happened.

Pinkie said, "You are Applejack." I thought that if this wasn't Pinkie, then either this here changeling was the best actor in the world, or I don't even know my own friend. Of course, it was Pinkie, because this had been part of her story as well.

I said, "Sure," or something like that. Pinkie ran up to me and hugged me. I was confused, but kind of happy to see a familiar face, but then, I was put unconscious, this time by Twilight, who was a changeling, and rather than catching her, she ran away, but all credit to Pinkie. She was really confused, and really didn't know what to believe, obviously. 

Anyway, I woke up, and one thing led to the next, and then, all of it was past, and all my friends came into the room. Okay, look, nothing that I really can remember happened before any of them came into the room. 

Then, we all talked, and Rainbow Dash was being carried inside the barn. She was really upset at Twilight for some reason, and that's where the first part, where we all met, ends, and what a happy ending it was. 





"There are a bunch of things that we need to make clearer, so please listen," Pinkie said, shrieking and sounding frustrated. "I'm sorry." She closed her eyes. "I just can't get those spiders out of my mind." Pinkie, and all the others were still in the ropes. Where and how to escape, for any of them?

"Still harping on those spiders?" Applejack said. 

Rainbow Dash nodded, agreeing with her. "C'mon, Pinkie. They're like, tiny animals. Nature's full of them. You need to get yourself together and face your fear, like Twilight said."  

"I don't want to lose the thing we were talking about," Pinkie said. "So please listen, okay? I was in the barn, but there was a second Twilight, and that's the one that made Applejack unconscious, but then the one that didn't ran away? Why?"

Applejack smacked her lips. "I don't even know."

"But is that what happened?" Pinkie said.

"I think so," Applejack said. "But it's complicated."

"What's complicated? You don't remember?"

"I don't remember seeing two Twilights." 

"But that's impossible," Rainbow said. "It's totally impossible. Now, I may not be an egghead, but listen. I'm not stupid, and neither is Pinkie, you know. Two Twilights were there, but you only saw one? But this is the real Pinkie? And one of them was fake, obviously, but you don't even remember seeing the second one? And then, what, Pinkie remembers this, but not you, and the one Twilight ran away, but there isn't a trace of her."  

"Maybe I just wasn't looking," Applejack yelled. "Will you stop over-analyzing?"

"I don't know if that's what I'm doing."

"I'm not a changeling, damn you."

"Guys," Derpy said.

"I'm not calling you a changeling."

"Guys."

"Well, you sure do have a funny way of not calling me a changeling in that case."

"Guys."

"Whatever!"

Derpy said, "I don't even want to be here. You're not acting like friends at all."

"Sometimes friends fight," Rainbow said. "You ever had a friend, Derpy?"

"Rainbow!" Applejack said.

Rainbow paused. "Oh, I immediately regret saying that."

"No, that's okay," Derpy said. "I don't have all that many friends."

"You took it too far," Applejack said, sneering at Rainbow Dash. "You apologize right now or I won't be your friend anymore, either."

"I'm sorry," Rainbow said.

"Honestly," Derpy said, sounding cautious. "Your story doesn't really explain anything. What happened with the changeling? He's here on the boat with us, isn't he? Why don't we ask him?"  

"Because he's crazy!" Applejack said, at the utmost top of her lungs.

"C'mon," Derpy said.

"No," Rainbow said. "She's right. We should hear him out."

"Fine," Applejack said. "So what happened in the day of Esceforn?"

Esceforn was quiet. 

"C'mon," Applejack said. "Spit it out, or forever remain silent."

Esceforn said, "I honestly have no idea what any of you are talking about. It's true that I was plotting against you, but now, we're all stuck here. Why the heck would I need to pretend to be all of you? I just wanted to make money on Apple-land, and Applejack already gave me her signature. She did it when we were at the amusement park."  

"Is that true?" Rainbow said. 

"I don't remember signing anything," Applejack said. "He's surely lying."

"Am not."

"Am too," Applejack said, glaring at him, squinting with rage. "I can't even believe this. We're all seated here, having this discussion. We already caught the villain. What's all the fuss about?"

"Because we're all caught," Rainbow Dash said, "and unless we tell our stories, we have to walk the plank."

"Which will give an escape opportunity for sure," Applejack said.

Pinkies eyes darted all-around. "Oh, I don't know. I wouldn't trust these here pirates, you guys."

"You're slipping into my accent," Applejack said.

"And still," Pinkie said. "What if all these here pirates are tricking us, or what if they get the idea to throw us down with the ropes on? Then we'll drown."

"What a splendid idea," Jelly said. "Thank you for that. That seems like a really pirate-y thing to do. Oh! Oh. And, and I never would've come up with it without your help."

"Hey," Rainbow said. "Before you do, can you put some sort of gag on Pinkie Pie? Who here's for gagging Pinkie? You with me?" Rainbow reached a hoof into the air. "Come on. Operation gag Pinkie?" 

"Um," Pinkie said.

"No! Please don't say anything," Rainbow said.

"But–"

"Nooo! Pleeease." 

"You–"

"Oh, what's the use?" Rainbow said, crossing her arms.

"You're out of the ropes," Pinkie whispered.

"Whoa," Rainbow said, standing up. "For real? How did that happen?"

Esceforn said, "Hello, it was me. Hello, do you see?" Esceforn was normal Esceforn, and then he shrank down into a filly, and the ropes got loose for a second. Pinkie jumped out of them now, and then, only the others were trapped.

"Now to kick some pirate butt?" Pinkie said. 

Rainbow nodded. "Yes." Matey Jelly came crawling toward her. "I don't want to hurt her though. She's like really nice, and sensitive."

"When she's not threatening your life," Pinkie said, shaking her head.

"Yes, no. I guess? Point taken." Rainbow turned to Jelly. "Hey, um, your father was, um, never there for you?" Matey Jelly stopped and began crying.

"How did you know?" she said, snorting loudly. "Oh no. My memories. My childhood."

"Jeez, I'm so sorry," Rainbow said.

Pinkie grabbed her. "Let's just escape." Rainbow grinned at Jelly and then ran off with Pinkie, off the boat. The other pirates jumped and followed, and the two ponies, Rainbow and Pinkie, had to dodge and weave, and then, they were off the boat.

When the hare came jumping, Rainbow kicked him in the face. Then he fell down in the water. "Oh, no." Rainbow jumped after him and picked him up. "I'm so sorry. This isn't like I thought would happen." She put a hoof on him, and water flew out of his mouth.

Matey Jelly came crawling down the platform that led off the ship. "You're not heroes. You're downright evil. We're the good guys."

"Oh my gosh," Rainbow said. "No, you got it all wrong."

"You almost killed him!"

"But then I saved him," Rainbow said, trying to defend herself. "Please, I am a good guy. You're the villains, I- I think. I mean, you're the ones that kidnapped us."

"We didn't know what to do." Matey Jelly crawled down to Rainbow. "Do you have any idea how worried Captain Spider has been? We've been looking for his children for a full moon, and we're really worried that something terrible has happened to them. Have you ever lost your child before? Do you know how stressful that is?"

"Oh, no. No way," Rainbow said.

"Rainbow!" Pinkie down-right shrieked, grabbing Rainbow Dash. "We can talk about this later. Now, let's scram."

"But this is really starting to get to me," Rainbow said, whispering it into Pinkie's ear. "Maybe she's right. Maybe we really are the bad guys."

"Stuff happens," Pinkie said. "Now, let's go."

"I don't know." Rainbow looked at Matey Jelly, who was hugging the little hare, still coughing for air. "I did do that of my own free will. It wasn't, you know, it wasn't as if somepony made me do it. I feel like a total moron."

"We can't stay here," Pinkie said. She turned around and ran off the dock, and then, she turned back and ran back to Rainbow. "Come on. You have to come too."

"But all our friends are still there," Rainbow said.

Pinkie stared into Rainbow, and right through her, wide-eyed and deadpan. "We'll get help. We'll get Starlight. Discord could help us. It's better than waiting until the spiders come back. Do you want to fight a bunch of spiders?"

"It's that what all this is about?"

Pinkie bit her lip a tiny bit, and looked around back and forth. "It's not not what this is about."

"Come on, please." Rainbow looked at the hare. "We have to help them any way we can."

The little hare was coughing, water in lungs, struggling, the little thing. "Oh, no," Pinkie said. "You're totally right. We have to help them."

"Told you," Rainbow said. "We really do have to help them."

"So what do we do now?" Pinkie shrugged, and jumped to the hare. "Please don't die. There's so much to live for. There's ice cream, and there's animals." She leaned to Rainbow. "Except for spiders." She kept talking. "And there's- I don't know. Oh, no. It would be really terrible if something bad happened now."

The little hare coughed, and then, with a wheeze, he woke up, and hugged Jelly.

"Yes," Pinkie said, bouncing with happiness, and joy. "Do you see that Rainbow? It's a miracle."

Rainbow Dash smiled. "Yes."

"Okay," Pinkie said. "So do we call for help? Now, what do we do?"

"Really?" Jelly said. "You're just going to run away? Just like that? I can't believe you two."

Rainbow sputtered. "Buh- uh, um, oh, what?" She just stood there, and then, she faced Pinkie. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Come on." Rainbow walked back up to the ship.

"Are y–"

"Just come on," Rainbow yelled, tired and annoyed. Pinkie followed her up to the ship. Rainbow took some of the loose rope and tied herself to the mast, along with Pinkie. "Ugh."

"Okaaay," Pinkie said.

Applejack's mouth dropped to the floor. "What happened? You got caught? Is that it?"

"Nur-hur," Rainbow said, grumbling.

"It's best if we just don't talk about it," Pinkie whispered loudly. 

"But you managed to escape. What?" Applejack said. "You escaped."

"Nope," Pinkie said. "No, we di-in't." 

"Okaaay," Applejack said. "So what now exactly? We just sit here, like a bunch of buffoons?"

"We'll wait 'til Twilight gets back," Rainbow said, leaning over. "She'll solve the adventure or whatever."

"But you had the chance to escape. What the heck happened? I'm serious."

"You know what, Applejack?" Rainbow Dash said. "Calm your stinking apples." 

"Okaaay," Applejack said, again. "Okay. Okay then. Okay, I guess."

Pinkie shrugged. "You do what you can do."

The bubble rearose out of the water, with Twilight and Captain Spider in it. It popped and the two landed on the floor of the ship. 

Captain Spider wiggled around, like a wet dog, splashing water all over. "How could I have been so blind?" he said.

"It's okay," Twilight said.

"No," he said. "I didn't realize the truth. The most important thing of all is friendship. I understand that now." 

"Look," Rainbow said, pointing. "She even reformed him. All's well that ends well."

"It still don't understand why you didn't just escape," Applejack then said, turning her head away. "But ah well." 

Captain Spider walked up to the others. "It's time to mend our ways. It's time to become good old honest explorers, treasure hunters, rather than pirates."

"Yay," Pinkie said. "Go friendship."

Applejack smiled. "I have no idea what's going on, but I'm happy that everything turned out okay."

"Now," Captain Spider said. "Let me just untie your ropes." He did, and then, they were all free.

Esceforn immediately ran off, but then, Applejack caught him in her lasso. "Not so far, mister. We've got unfinished business, sir, though that's hardly a title that's befitting of someone like you."

"Okay," he said. "O vey." 

"Yeah," Applejack said. "And that's all there is to it."

"Hey," Pinkie said. "You wouldn't have room for a pony on this ship?"

"Come on, Pinkie," Applejack said. "There's no room for two adventures at once. Let's first solve this thing with Esceforn."

"Still," Rainbow said. "He could come with us. There would be no escape opportunities aboard the ship of Captain Spider."

"There's one more thing," Fluttershy said, who had been one of the more quiet ones on this pirate's journey. "I was going to say it, but I was too nervous. You could've just asked."

"My spiders," Captain Spider said.





"There you go," Fluttershy said, leading the spiders out the house. "Oh, they sure have been missing you."

"Thank you," Captain Spider said. "Thank you." All the other ponies hooted and hollered.

"Boy," Rainbow said. "I'm sure glad everything has turned out okay."

"Still," Rarity said. "There's one thing I don't understand."

Applejack blinked a few times, confused. "There's many things I still don't understand, but you don't see me complaining. At least we caught the villain, made amends with Captain Spider, and everything's all right."

"What about Esceforn?" Rarity said.

"Oh, he's being dealt with."





Back at the ship, Esceforn was sitting alone, tied to the mast. "Hello? Anyone? Where did you go? I'm lonely. I'm just here, me only. Alone and confused!"

The ropes loosened, and then, fell to tiny pieces, and pulverized. Esceforn looked around, looking confused, being confused. "What now?" He stared from left to right. 

A shadow walked up the ramp to the boat, and another something followed, its owner. The owner of the shadow reached the ship. "Wh- wh- what d- d- did you tell them? E- e- emmm." The voice groaned, and then, it spit something out on the floor. "Wh- wh- where? H- here?"  

"I didn't tell them nothing," Esceforn said. "Just let me go now. They've been roughing!"  

"Hrrm," the owner of the shadow, which walked around, said. "This is- s- s- so, annoying. To see you here, just t- t–"

"Talking?"

"We need to make sure they d- don't discover my true identity. I'm supposed to be a nonexistent, e- entity."

Esceforn laughed. "You're crazy. You know that? Crazy and lazy. Why don't you do it yourself?"

"I- I could hurt you. Hewww," the person said, stroking Esceforn's neck.

"Please." Esceforn transformed and turned into a green changeling, like those of Thorax. "Don't. Say anything? I sure won't."

"G- g- g- good. Good. I thought you would." The person walked into view. Lights were coming out of his eyes, and he had a pink leg, purple mane, the face of an adult and a child at the same time, and many other things. He had a blue leg, and then a yellow one, and a grey one too, and a single pegasus wing on one side and a horn. "We m- mustn't b- be–"

"Discovered? Yes, I've been covered. Please, don't say anything more. You're such a bore." Esceforn turned around, honestly frightened of the strange changeling.

"We could win this yet," the rainbow-changeling said. "If you don't f- f." He just burst out coughing. "Fret? Wet? Yet? Oh!" He spit again on the ground. "Bother. Bother. Rather, bother. Father. Bother. Bother." He coughed. "No."   

"Dude, maybe we should just forget about all this and–"

"No, you abandon me now and I swear I will kill you." His eyes shone like spotlights, and his voice were like seven different voices at once. "Don't leave me here, y- neugh." Tears were coming out of his eyes. "Pleeease, doeeeun't." 

"Okay, I won't leave you. But what to do now? What to say to them? How? Our plan will be ruined if they find out, that, that I escaped without, I, I shouldn't have been able to do it, so I- I sit, and I." He was looking for words. Esceforn was really nervous now.  

"Patience," the other one said. Its features changed around. One leg grew longer while another got shorter, but he just stumbled around and grabbed Esceforn. "All good things come to those that are willing to wait, and we're willing to wait, you and I, aren't we?"

"Um." 

"A- a- aitachoo." He rubbed his nose. "Must've sneezed or something. Heheh. Wh- wheeze- z- d." 

"Yeah, okay."

"It's settled then. Whennn." The ropes flew around Esceforn, the other pony grabbing it. He made no effort to resist, and they flew around, attaching around him, and tying him back to the mast. "Good. I feel like a person that, um, uh, damn i- could."

"Please," Esceforn said. "There's got to be a better way. Don't go away."

The other changeling divided into a mass of colors, looking like liquid rainbow, fluids of color, that ran into the floor. "Don't be discovered. You coward." Then, he disappeared without a trace.

"I'm not a coward, you blowhard," Esceforn said, but the other was gone. "He should really watch himself. He has no idea who he's messing with, itself. The six? Nix. The seven, plus the other one, make seven. Oh, heavens. Ugh." He shook his head, jittering. "There's only one way. I have to tell him it's okay. I have tell them that I'm not in his way. I'm his friend, and hey, maybe they could help. They may, or not. I was telling the truth, and that Applejack didn't even believe it, forsooth!"  

"Ugh, still. I have to find a way. It cannot end like this, amiss. It's really terrible, and sad. Really, it's extremely bad, and yes, sad. Bad. Sad. Bad. Sad." He kept on repeating the rhymes, to calm himself a bit. "He really isn't all that mean. He's my brother, and his origins are clean. They're good, like my own, and–"

"You always say everything you think out loud?" It was the voice of Derpy. She was in the crow's nest. "That's really a bad habit, you know, if you don't want anyone to know what you're thinking."

Esceforn started jumping up and down in his ropes. "You have to go. He could be here any time, so. So! Go. No. Please." Derpy walked up to him.

"I think I won't go. I think I want to talk."

"He's not safe to be around," Esceforn said. "He's a danger to himself and others, abound." 

"I'm not scared of any dangers," Derpy said. "I just want to talk."

"Okay, then talk."





Ten minutes later or so, the other six arrived at the ship. 

"Boy, do I have a story for you," Derpy said. Esceforn was sitting, tied to the mast, looking all forlorn, and crestfallen, and sad, and a little broken. Now, Esceforn was green, not black. "It will explain a lot of things, and I think you're going to like it."

A short bit off was a bat in a tree with a pair of binoculars. It blinked a few times and flew off, landing on the ground. It turned into Fluttershy. "Oh, no," Fluttershy said. "He's going to tell them everything." Fluttershy froze up, and just stood there. "I have to- have to, what can I even do? I don't know." She looked out from between the trees down at the harbor. "I will confuse them, I suppose. What else can I do? But I'm not sure." She turned into Rainbow Dash. "Still, I must do something. It is my duty, as a pro-flyer." Rainbow Dash turned into Pinkie. "Still," she said. "I'd better watch out for those spiders. You never know what can happen." Pinkie turned into a bat and flew away. "Maybe I should've chosen something better than a bat. Bat's can't see. What am I saying? I'm a bat." The bat dove down and grabbed a bug off the ground. "Bat. Bat." It ate the bug. "Mm." The bat kept flying. It turned into Twilight. "Time t- to get smart. Heheh." Twilight smiled, and then looked off in the other direction. "I'm the smartest pony in the world. They'll see. Heheh."

Nary did the ponies realize, at this point, that their troubles had just begun. They had just made a new friend, but in so doing, made a powerful enemy, but that's a story for another day. All's well that ends well, and this changeling, strange as it may seem, thought that he meant well, but we'll see who means well, and what really happens, when all is said and done.
> Fluttershy's Not Crazy Day
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The birds chirped, and the squirrels squirreled around my room. I yawned. "Oh, what a beautiful day," I said. "It's a beautiful day to be alive." I stood up from bed.

"Okay, so what do we do today?" I wanted to do a lot of things, and I wasn't sure where to begin. I was surrounded by animals, beautiful critters, of all colors, and shapes too. It made me happy. Everything made me happy. I was just happy. I wanted to sing, but I didn't. I stood up, and put on my robe. 

"It's time to take a bath, angel bunny," I said to angel bunny. "How nice." He cuddled me. That's what I said was nice. I thought it would be a great day.  





"That's great," Rarity said, putting down a card on the table. They were on Captain Spider's ship, off on adventure, but this time, as guests, rather than intruders, or prisoners for that matter. "It's wonderful to hear that, my dear."

"Oh, yes," Fluttershy said, remembering back. "It sure was a good, really good day."

"That makes me really happy to hear," Rarity said, smiling at her. "Ace of hearts. I win."  

"Oh, you sure do," Fluttershy said, reaching over and hugging Rarity. "Good job."

"So what happened next?" Spike said, with the notebook in his hand.

"Oh, you can put that down," Rarity said, admonishing him. "We solved the mystery. There's nothing else to say or do."

"I'm just." Spike quieted down. "Twilight wanted me to do it."

"Well, go right ahead, Fluttershy," Rarity said, "and tell your story."

"Oh, boy." Fluttershy looked around. "To be on a real pirate ship." Pinkie was standing not too far away, talking to Captain Spider. All over were pictures of spiders in different sizes and shapes. The décor represented Captain Spider's family.   

Pinkie's voice got a little loud. "And I said, no way! There's spiders in my hair. Can you believe it? What a crazy day that was. It was like, oh my! And, oh! What? Spiders in your hair? Can you believe that?"

"It does sound like you had a rough day," Captain Spider said, nodding.

"Hey!" Rarity said. "Could you lower your volume just a decibel? We're trying to relax here. Thank you."

"Sorry. My bad, Rares," Pinkie said, looking sheepish. "And then..."

"So what was it that happened?" Rarity said.

"Oh, nothing in particular. It's not really that interesting."

"Let's talk about it anyway," Rarity said. "I want to know it, and Twilight is being paranoid, so it might ease her nerves to know that you had a totally normal day."

"A not crazy day," Fluttershy said. "Okay then. Just listen. It was a good day. I was having visitors in the sanctuary."





I was in the water outside my house, scrubbing my body with a brush. "Oh, what a beautiful mooorning," I sang, because I was so happy. The sun shone high in the sky, and made the water look like something out of a fairytale, and a beautiful almost rainbow of colors gathered around me, making the place too pretty for life.

I was about to stop scrubbing, but then I felt like I wasn't quite clean yet, so I continued, and I scrubbed, and I scrubbed, and scrubbed. Then, I was totally done scrubbing. I was all clean, and happy. I stepped out of the water. Angel bunny came running.

"I haven't given you any food, have I?" I said to him. He shook his head. "Poor fella." 

Angel bunny brushed up against me, even better than the brush did. "Oh, how cute." Let's go in and get you some food. I went in and gave him food. He ate the food. That was good. I was relieved that he wasn't skipping his meal. Then I went out. I walked out into nature, beautiful nature, undisputed.  

"Come on, angel. Let's go to the animal sanctuary and see to it that everything is all right."





"Oh, gosh, Rarity," I said, putting my cards down. "Why, it looks like you won again. Good game. You are one of the best players I know."

"Oh," Rarity said, blushing. "So what happened then, when you got to the sanctuary?"

"Some really sweet and special things."





I got there, and everything just felt, for lack of a better word, beautiful. I loved looking at all of it, and it made me happy, happy in my tummy. I don't even know how to explain it. You have to feel it to know, but I think it was just happiness. I had woken up on the right side of bed today. I didn't meet any of you, off on your crazy adventures. I was all alone, with the animals. 

It's probably for the best too, for, had I been there with you, I would probably have been in your way, and one never knows what will happen when changelings are around. Gosh, I'm just so glad that everything turned out okay.





Rarity smiled, having a good time. "Me too," she said. "Me too."

"Oh, isn't it wonderful to be alive?"

"You're in a good mood today, as well," Rarity said, remarking on Fluttershy's euphoric behavior, and outlook. 

"Oh, yes," Fluttershy said, putting down a clover with an eight on it. "Oh, I might win this time, but maybe not, but that's okay. I'm just glad to be here."  

Pinkie Pie hugged her from behind. "Me too."

"That's great," Fluttershy said.

"It feels so great to be here. Doesn't it, Rarity?" Pinkie said, grinning. "I'm having a great time with Captain Spider. I might even come over my fear of spiders soon."

"I should think so," Rarity said. "You dare talk to the biggest baddest spider around. That has to say something."

"Hey!" Pinkie said, walking up beside Rarity. 

"Yes?"

"Am I allowed to hug you?"

"Yes, you don't even have to ask." Pinkie hugged Rarity and walked away. "Pinkie is also happy, but she's more gentle than normal, I should say."

"Well, she was afraid that she had hurt us before," Fluttershy said. "And you know how she gets. But I'm happy everything is fine now."

"Me too," Rarity said. "I feel really happy."

"So, I was..."





... Walking along, feeling great, and I felt like nothing could go wrong, and then I met a bear. And the bear was nice. I talked to the bear. We had a nice conversation. Bear-stuff. It's a thing you will most likely only understand if you're a bear, and that felt great, and then, we just went to the sanctuary together, and I gave him food.





"Gosh, it feels great to be alive," Fluttershy said. "What could go wrong?" What indeed.

Something, happened, and something more, happen, happened? He jumped off the wall. He had thoughts. He was alive. 

He turned from a bug into a bigger bug, with a scar across his face. He is the noticer of things, and he is the one that has been observing these ponies as they tell their stories, and he is here. He is real. He is actual. He exists. He comes, and he sits down beside them.  

"Mind if a l- lonely, poor old chap, like myself, join you on your mishap, s- s- s- sss."

"Okay," Rarity said, clearly shocked at what was going on. "What's happening now?"

"I d- didn't mean to disturb you," the changeling said. "My name is unknown to the two, of you. Two? Yes, two. I said two? I suppose I did."

"Um, Twilight?" Rarity said.

"It's good that you call her," he said. "I should like a chat with her too, if only a tiny one."

"Um," Rarity said. Fluttershy left the table and ran away. "Okay."

"I would prefer," he said, looking at her. "I would prefer, I think, a tiny chat about the things that I have done. It might make all of us, you and me, f- f- feel better to talk about this among ourselves, 'cause- s- s- s- s, I- ehum." He took a deep breath. "Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse my hurry." He stood up. Twilight came running down the stairs.

"What in the world?" she said. "Who are you?"

"I suppose that the guy who is currently tied to the mast above has spilled the beans already, and since I cannot resist you, don't have the means, I surrender, and admit defeat, my friend there."  

"Tell me first how you got on this ship," she said, very worried about what was going on, and why.

"I take on the guise of anything. I took on something with wings. I flew t- t- t- excuse my ex- x- x- xisting. I didn't mean to do it, but I'm here, so what to about that bit?"

"Who, aaare, you?" Twilight said, stopping at each word.

"I'm Esceforn's brother."

"You are?"

"I'm none other."

"Meaning?"

"I'm not his mother."

"You're the one he referred to as Anteforn."

Anteforn nodded, gaping. "Ah, so he did reveal my name. That's a big, big shame."

"Oh," Twilight said. "Oh, this is not good."

"What?" Anteforn said. "What's not good? Not? How are things not as they should?" 

"You're here, and if the things he said are to be believed," Twilight said, backing away.

"What did he tell you exactly?"

Twilight backed out the room, and ran up the stairs to the deck of the ship. 

"The situation is going intactly, intactly? Oh, really, me?" He said, running after Twilight. She reached the top of the stairs. He did too. "Brother, I see," Anteforn said, coming up. He saw Esceforn tied against the mask. He, in his own mind, was only an actor, among actors, observing himself and others. He liked doing so, and what you're currently reading are his thoughts.  

"Oh, no. This is not so," he said.

"How so?" Anteforn said. "How no?"

Twilight looked at Anteforn, up and down, carefully. Anteforn was calm now.

Twilight said, "You threatened my friend."

"I'm giving myself over to you. I'm surrendering, that too, and what are you accusing me of? I don't even know. Wow. Threatening someone? I've threatened others than Zecora, if you're talking about that a one."  

"What is the secret of your power?" Twilight said. Anteforn just walked up to Esceforn and sat down beside him.

Twilight glared, and blared, "Hello?"

"All's well that ends well," Anteforn said, smiling at Esceforn. The ship moved and everything moved back in time, just a few fractions, of actions, moving back, aback, through history. Now, Anteforn was standing at the dock, walking up to the ship.  

Esceforn was sitting there, unbound. He heard a sound. Where did it come from, around what bound? 

"Must've sneezed or something. Heheh. Wh- wheeze- z- d."

"Yeah, okay."

Twilight stood beside him. "Time travel, I see."

Anteforn looked at her. "Well, he was going to be a threat, so I might as well these ropes back get." The dust on the ground, from which ropes had been made a moment ago, rematerialized, and turned into new ropes. "You'll help me tie him, I bet."  

Twilight grabbed him and pushed him against a wall. "I don't know what you're getting at, or what you think you're doing, but you should understand that time travel is very dangerous."

"Living," he said, "is giving, and taking, is faking, and being good, is as it should, and I am bad, because I was born mad."

"No, you're just confused. I'm sure the ones at your home could help you."

"Help? You think I want to do what they want, and- and, become a whelp? A weakling? No, I don't think so- sssking." He gritted his teeth, and grinded them against each other. His body melted and turned into a mass of colors, and his facial features changed. 

Now, he had the leg of Derpy, another leg, that of Rainbow Dash, and the leg of Fluttershy, and one more leg, that belonging to Twilight. He had Rarity's facial features, and Pinkie Pie's body, and his eyes were those of Applejack. 

"He told me this could happen to a changeling," Twilight said. Anteforn kept melting, and melted into the floor of the ship, disappearing. Twilight teleported to the inside of the ship. The liquid kept running down there, too. Twilight shot a beam at it, and it reshaped into a changeling. 

"Please," Twilight said. "You're not acting like yourself. I know you aren't because Esceforn told me."

"All's well that ends well," he said, and disappeared into a cloud of smoke. 

"So anyway," Twilight said.





I was surrounded by animals and everything was lovely. I wanted to go do something with them. We went into the forest. There, who should we meet but the mighty Derpy Hooves, who's one of the greatest ponies I know, and a dear friend. 





"I envy you," Rainbow Dash said, dryly. "Don't you at least have any interesting details that make this particular day different from other days, Flutters?"

"Well, I don't know," Fluttershy said.

Twilight went around, spraying gushes of purple magic over the walls, like a fuzz of purple in different nuances. Something came off the wall. It was Anteforn.

"Okay, can we talk now?" Twilight said.

"Oh, jeez," Fluttershy said.

"All's well that ends well," he said. He disappeared.





Twilight hit another wall with magic, and now, it was outside, where Esceforn was bound. Anteforn fell off the wall and turned into his true form, which is the changeling with the scar.

"Don't be stupid."

"All's well that ends well." Twilight sighed.





"Okay," Twilight said, looking at Anteforn, who had been sitting on the side of the ship, now holding on for dear life. "This has to stop."

"Never, ever. Never. Never. Ever. Ever. Never. Ever."

"Just come up and we can talk. This is a charade."

"All's well th–"

Twilight grabbed him with her magic and pulled him up. He fell on the floor like a wet fish, bouncing up and down.

"All's well that e–"

Twilight pushed his mouth together with her magic. "We're going to have to call Thorax. Until them, let's keep an eye on him."

He was bound around the mast, along with Esceforn, and a tiny gag was put on his mouth, to prevent him from saying the magic words. He liked magic words. He liked thinking. These were his thoughts. This is also one of his thoughts. He didn't know what was going on. What does it mean to say that something is going on? Na-na-na-na. 

Twilight looked at him. "Okay then, so he obviously wanted to be caught, either that, or just acting crazy, but why?"

"Look under his hoof," Esceforn said, "for proof."

Twilight did, and there was a tiny book. Twilight read from it out loud, onto the ship.

"Pinkie stood aside from the book, and Rainbow flew past her, laughing. Okay, that was weird. Don't laugh at her, Rarity said. Why, she can't help it if there's spiders in her hair." Twilight had to pick up her jaw back off the floor, after reading that. 

"What the #&/"#"!" She looked at the book. "*************," she said.   

"Oh, my gosh." Rainbow came flying. "Twilight. I've never heard you say such words."

Twilight showed Rainbow Dash the book. 

Rainbow said, "What in the %&%& and the %&% on a hot summer's day." 

"Oh, no." Rarity came running. "That is the worst thing someone could say. What in the world would possess you to say such a thing? That is obscene, even by your standards. I don't know if I can even have you around civilized company if you say a word like the word you just said."   

"Look," Rainbow said, handing the book to Rarity.

"Wow," Rarity said. "Well, that is quite shocking, but that still doesn't explain the crazy, and frankly, offensive language you're using." Rarity shook her head, looking concerned. "Really? That's a horrible word to say. It's even worse than some of the worst things I have ever heard."

Rainbow crossed her arms, hovering above Rarity. "You'll get over it."

"Come here," Rarity said, and Rainbow did, flying down to the book. "What we're doing and saying is being written down right now. I don't even know if we can be in the same place as that guy, given what he's trying to do right now. He's listening to us, and everything is being passed over to this book." And indeed, the book was writing itself, as Rarity was reading it, right in this second. 

She put the book down. "Will you stop that?"

"I'll do a sleeping spell on him," Twilight said. And she did.





I thought that it would be great if we could pick that bird down off the tree. Are you getting this, Spike? Anyway, and then, he didn't want to come, but he was clearly hurt. Oh, how did I know that it was a he? I just knew. 

I took it back to my house and gave it a nice little massage, and I wanted its wing to heal up before it got out again, and since I didn't have anything better to do, I thought I would stay and watch this bird, and everything would turn out well in the end for the little critter. I was sure of it. I could feel sure about that, and I knew it. I just knew it. It felt great. Everything felt great.

Of course, Derpy joined me, and we had a nice little conversation, where we talked about our lives, so she told me that she got the nickname of Derpy when she was little and it was affectionate. It was something positive to her, but it has been used in many different contexts and situations, sometimes dismissively, which is terrible, and sometimes, to show that there is a close friendship between her and that other pony. 

"Do you want to go inside?" she said, looking at me.

I was glad that she was here, and I looked back at her, smiling. "I think so, but first, we have to go fix a bird's nest." And we did, and then we went inside. 

"Wow," she said. "This sure is a nice-looking place you got."

"You've seen it before," I said.

"Yes, but not in a long time."

I agreed with her. I liked how my home looked, and of course, there were many small things going on all over, and I was happy to see that all the animals were getting along well. If anything, this was one of the most perfect, hitch-free days ever. 

"We sit down?" Derpy said, smiling, and I smiled back.

"Yes, I suppose we do." We did sit down. Someone or something knocked at the door, and who was it but our dear friend Discord?

"Hello," he said. "Hello. Hello there. Hello, everybody." His head detached from his body and flew into the house, landing in the chair beside Derpy. "Hello."

"What are you?" Derpy said.

"You don't know about me?" he said, turning his head away, or rather, his head turned away from her.

I walked away from the door. His body was just left standing there. I didn't know what was going on, but it's Discord, so you never know what he will do next.

"I'm sure she knows who you are," I said. "Everybody knows who you are."

"Well, they'd better. I was the king of Equestria, once, in my heyday." 

"Was that before or after the sisters banished you and turned you into stone?"

A crown came out of nowhere and landed on his head. "I'm still the king of Equestria, as a matter of fact. If you didn't know, now you know."

"I see." I smiled.

"I know who you are," Derpy said. "I just don't know what you're doing."

"Nobody ever does," I said. "Just go with it. We can have fun, and not understand anything that's going on at the same time."

Discord pouted. "Do you really understand nothing?"

I shrugged a little. "I understand the words you're saying right now, if that's any comfort, Discord-pumpkin."

"Maybe a little bit, but you'll still have to explain yourself to him." Discord's head looked at his body, which walked in the room. It sat down beside them. "He's beyond reprieve, Fluttershy. Totally beyond reprieve." 

The body bent down and sobbed.

"Don't be sad. Do you want some tea?" Fluttershy said to his body.

Derpy just looked out into nowhere. She had accepted the situation, as had I.

I like being around my friends a lot. I like to see them smile. Pinkie said that. I agree. I felt great, but I don't feel so great now. Why? I'm not really sure.

You don't always know why you feel the way you feel and that's okay.

I've enjoyed being around my friends today.

What's going on now?

It's great to be alive.





Fluttershy looked at me. "Are you finished?"

"Yes." I finished writing the last details down.

"That's great, Spike," she said. I was happy that she had been happy, but now, I was just confused about everything. Really, these changelings had gone too far, and why? What were they doing, and why? Especially that Anteforn fellow was a strange creature, and I didn't even know what they were trying to accomplish.

I said to Fluttershy, "Hey, do you think this is still about Apple-land?"

"Oh, we have them trapped anyway, so does it really matter?" she said.

"Hm," I said. "I just feel... I don't know."

Now, I began wondering if this was the real Fluttershy. I was questioning everything, but why? This was my friend. You can't do that. I couldn't do that. Now, Rainbow Dash was right. You have to be loyal.

Still, is that something Fluttershy would say?

Oh, stop it. I'm just being stupid.

She could've added a few more details into her story.

What am I even saying?

I don't know what's going on, or what to make of any of it?

Wait, but that can't be a changeling, because they're both up there.

"Hey, Fluttershy," I said.

"What is it?"

"Oh, nothing."

Twilight came walking down the stairs, and she had another Fluttershy in tow, walking with her.

"I want an explanation, now," she said.

Okay then. This was getting weeeird.
> Rarity's Dead-end
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"And an explanation maybe?" Twilight said.

One of the Fluttershys looked the other way, and the other looked at Twilight. That one, Twilight shot her magic beam at, and the Fluttershy turned back into a changeling. It was the Fluttershy that had come in the room, and so, Spike was relieved that he didn't have to scratch any of what he wrote in the book, even though there was a remarkable poverty of detail anyway, in Fluttershy's story, but she hadn't been through much, and yet, was the key to solving the mystery in her story? Anteforn worried now. He–





He's unconscious. It's time then. It's time for action. It's time for all these tiny stories to end, and be joined into mine, I think. I hope at least. Hello, I'm sorry. I didn't want it to be this way. I'm Anteforn. I was really not planning on any of this. Hello. I'm me. I was born not too long ago, in a land far, far away.

I walked on the street, and a nice changeling said hello to me. "Hello."

"Hello," I said. I tried to remain quiet, but of course I did. What else would you expect? Then I said, "I'll go." I walked the other direction.

"Wait," he said, laughing.

"What?" I said, turning around.

"Oh." He got quiet. "Nothing."

I was cross, very cross with this individual. I couldn't stop rhyming. Everyone was making fun of me for it, but of course they were. I was ridiculous, was and am. That's why I made a plan. 





"Do you want to hear my plan?" Anteforn said, smiling. 

"Yes, I suppose," Twilight said, unsure of how to react, and what to think. "I think I might want to hear it, maybe."

"Sensational," he said. "Then hear this, all!" 

The only ones in the room were Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, and this guy.

"Okay," he said. "I was going from the hive of changelings, all the way. I found myself in this town. Um, yay? I don't know. I just was here. I had no tow. I had no fear, running away, from everything that once was dear. Okay? You following this now? I wanted to become the richest changeling alive, how? I stole Applejack's identity. Impressive, huh? Wow. That's cool, or at least I think it's pretty cool, but I made a mistake. I took her, and all of you, for a fool. Um, fools? Oh, heheh."

"You're crazy," Twilight said. "And you're just trying to confuse us. What you're saying is what we already know."

"It's a show," he said. "That's what all this is about. It's big big grand show, for my foe, and that's you Twi, and all your little ilk. Why? Because I want you to feel bad, and this situation, I'm gonna milk." 

"Why do you want me to feel bad?"

"Because," he said, growling. "You stole Apple-land from us, me and my brother. We built it, one and the other."

"Apple-land is a sham, and there's really nothing more to say about that," Twilight said. "I think we're reaching the end of this mystery. I've already contacted Thorax, and you will be handled. He said that things like this have happened before, and that there are ways to handle changelings like you already in place, so that's good."

"What?" he said

Twilight smiled and bent toward him. "Niceness lessons."

"Never, not," he said. "I will never become nice. I'd rather get lice."

"No, you wouldn't," Twilight said. "Being nice is way better than having lice."

Anteforn tried opening a window, but noticed that he couldn't.

"Until then," Twilight said. "I might have to do the sleep spell on you again."

He closed his eyes, and then, he fell asleep, again. Ah, well.





The first thing I do every morning is coif my mane.

What?

It is.

Pinkie talked about eating toothpaste. Then I can talk about my mane.

Oh, well, but then, I went down the stairs, and I looked out the window. I thought that today was going to offer some challenges, since I had to get a shipment of clothes over to the city across the railroad tracks, Manehattan. I thought that I needed to hurry. I sat down, and I ate something simple, a salad, nothing more and nothing less for me, thank you very much, and I went out the door, feeling rather spry for a day like this, when there was so much to do, and I ran out, not even thinking, not even wanting to talk to someone, thinking about how much there was to do, just running, and then walking, walking down the road. I felt like things were going okay, but I had a stomach-ache, and I thought there must've been something in that salad. I would have to consult whoever made it and make sure that it was proper. I think I got the salad at the nature store. No, not the cafeteria. The other store that's in town. Oh, you know which one I'm talking about. 

I thought about what I would do. I would make something pretty today, something beautiful. I always loved pretty and beautiful things, and I wanted to exact the right design on something that I had been working on for a long time, really, because I was in the mood for it, and I felt that my love for a good piece of clothing, that was fashionable, and practical, had never been stronger, and the practicality of it is important too, of course, my dears. It's really important. My house is really somewhat on the outskirts of town, not really in the middle of it, so the walk took a few moments, and did I meet anyone? No, but I might've seen a pony or two walking by, or flying by, in the case of Derpy. Is that important in any way to all this that we've been talking about? I haven't the faintest clue, but I would just keep going about my day.

Then, I saw something. What did I see? I'm not even sure myself, but I saw something, and that something could've been important. I'm not even sure. Oh, I know that I shouldn't skip over any details, but this one specific thing bears mentioning, at least before we get to anything else. Oh, yes, I know. Okay then. Yes.

I think it was a note on the ground, either that or something that comes similar to that. It was a thing, a something, not really sure how to describe it, but I think it could've been important. It might've been. I'm not sure if it was the contract, or if there even is a contract. We'll go over that later, maybe, I hope. It's a complicated story. 





Hmph. Oh yes, I see. I see it now. That is indeed an issue. No. No, come to think of it. It might not be. It could be fine. We shall see how all this plays out.





"Hello there, brother." Anteforn was tied along with Esceforn on the deck of the ship. 

"Yes, I am."

"Yes, you are my brother, none other than my brother. Other. Brother."

"Okay then."

"You think they will figure it out. It's really funny."

Esceforn looked at Anteforn, not saying anything at all.

"It's funny to you, but I don't think so, sonny."

"That's what this is all about. Doing this for the money."

Esceforn shook his head. "I'm sure they already know."

Anteforn laughed.





"Okay," Twilight said. "So what now?"

Rarity shrugged. "I should continue, no?"

"We're not getting anywhere. You and Fluttershy will have to start again later. I don't think this is working." 

"Oh, I'm sorry," Rarity said. "I guess we're not the storytellers that Pinkie and Rainbow Dash are."

Spike looked at Pinkie. "By the way, when do we get to the other part, with the, you know?"

"Oh," she said. "We're getting there, and then, we have to figure out, because, um, Twilight can explain it."

"I hope I can," Twilight said. "It's complicated. I hope I can."

"I think you can." Another Twilight stood in the opening of the door. Twilight hit that other Twilight with her beam, turning her back into a black changeling. To the left of Twilight was already another Anteforn tied to the inside of the ship. 

Twilight looked to the side, and then back to the one in front of her. "I don't really know how to handle this."

Pinkie looked between them. "It's because the more you time-travel, the more you loop, and there becomes more of you."

"I think this is seriously dangerous," Twilight said. "There can't be three of him at the same time and in the same location. It's really disturbing."

"Oh," Pinkie said. "I think it's funny."

Twilight looked at her for a moment, and then back to them.

"What?" Pinkie said. "Oh, forget it." She sat down on one of the two chairs on which Fluttershy and Rarity had been playing cards before. "What do we do?"

"Rarity," Twilight said. "What happened next?"





Well, I...





Another Rarity appeared out of nowhere next to the real Rarity. Twilight turned that Rarity back into a changeling.

"I think all of this is strange," Rarity said.

"Yes." Twilight nodded. "It sure is strange, if that's even the right word."

"We'll see what happens," Rarity said.

"I agree," Twilight said.





What's happening on the ship?





"Hey," Twilight said. "More things are being added to this book. What's happening on the ship?"

Rarity shook her head and turned. "I haven't the faintest clue on what's going on."

"It's not that I expect you to," Twilight said. "I don't know how we're going to resolve this, and the reason."

"Things are getting more complicated," one of the Anteforns said. "And what are you g- going to do? You're mated."

"You view this as a game," Twilight said. "I'm going to figure out how you do time-travel first of all, and Thorax is just arriving, so he'll help us, and then, this whole thing will be over in a jiffy."





Think. Oh, I think maybe the solution to the mystery is in Rarity's or Fluttershy's story, but too bad that they won't even tell it as it happened.





"Radically strange."





Pinkie looked at Twilight. They were standing on the deck of the ship now.

"You know, I'm getting sea-sick, but it's not even the sea that's doing it. It's everything but the sea. Everything that happens around us is making me dizzy."

Twilight looked at Pinkie. "I know."

The ship was heading into shore, and all's well that ends well, because the ponies would finally figure out what's going on once and for all, and get back to telling their stupid stories.

All of the changelings on the ship were getting shipped off, and then, they met a familiar face.

"I don't even really know what to say," he said, that person being Thorax. 

Now, the dizziness would begin, and not stop, and all the ponies would–

"He's been all of us at different times. He was Pinkie when she met Applejack. That was before Pinkie had woken up. He was me in Cloudsdale, obviously. He was me in Sweet Apple Acres, before I arrived there from my castle. He was Derpy in Everfree Forest, just having travelled back in time, so there could be fake Pinkie and fake Derpy there at the same time, and then of course, he was the Rainbow Dash I met before I got to Cloudsdale, and he was Rarity as she visited Pinkie, because she didn't go close to Pinkie in the entire day, even though she was looking for her at a certain point. He pretended to be Fluttershy at various times on this ship and before we got here."  

"What?" one Anteforn said.

"No way," another said.

"Dizziness not?"

"Oh." One Anteforn walked down to Thorax and looked like he was about to hug him, but Thorax stood back. "Okay," he then said.

"I'm actually glad you told me about this, Twilight," he said. "Believe it or not, but we've actually had far worse cases before."

"Your brother?"

Thorax laughed. "Um, no."

All the Anteforns got together and whispered. A bunch of green changelings then surrounded them and put foot-shackles on them. 

"Oh," one of them said. "No."

"Please," Thorax said. "I can help you."

"No, you can't," another Anteforn, of the many scattered ones, of which there were three, said.

"Yes."

"Oh."

Thorax frowned. "Oh?"

"No!"

He shook his head. "Oh."

Then, all of them were slowly taken away, and after that, there was quiet.

"You know," Pinkie said. "Something worries me, a little."

"What?" Twilight said.

"Wasn't this whole thing a bit too easy?"

"To be continued," Twilight said.





I finished writing the last things Rarity had said.

"Thanks, Spike."

"Yes," I said.

"Are we really that bad at telling stories?" Rarity said to Fluttershy.

"I don't know," she said. "I'm just glad to be here."

"Yes, but maybe we're allowing them to get us down. Maybe it's like the thing with Pinkie and the thing, you remember?"

"The flugelhorn?"

"No, the saxophone."

Rarity shook her head. "Oh, I don't know. She was playing into our ears all the time." 

"Okay," Fluttershy said.

"I don't know where this conversation is going," Rarity said.

"Me neither," Fluttershy said.

"So what to do now?" Rarity said.

"Oh," Fluttershy said. She turned into a black changeling with a scar on his face. "Sorry." 

Rarity stood up and left the room.

"Hey," I said, walking up to him. "What's going on exactly?"

"It's a show," he then said. "It's the biggest, most stupendous of them. Wooow."

"This needs an explanation," Spike said. "What is wrong with today?"

"The wrongness won't stop," he said. He flew up in the air, being grabbed by Twilight's magic. "I was wondering when you would pop, um, u- p- p- p."

"No," Twilight just said. "Nope."

"What will happen?" he said.

Twilight shot something at him. "There. Now, you won't be able to lie."

He nodded.

"What are you doing?"

"I like manipulating ponies. I like phonies, and hiding my real identity behind them. I don't want others to see who I really am."

"Am?"

"I'm just afraid, so I have turned my whole life into a game. I continually other changelings and ponies evade, because I think other individuals are lame."

Twilight just stared at him. "This is a strange thing."

"Hey, Twilight," Pinkie said. "I'm the only one that has no idea what's going on?"

"Spike," Twilight said. "Grab a quill."

I did.

"We won't be confused in a few moments."
> Twilight's Solution
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It falls down. Everything falls down, on the page. Every little detail must be right, on the page. I feel that I should concentrate, only on the page, and nothing else, none else. No. Nothing else. What should we find on the page but all the details, when everything is done? I don't want to think about this anymore, when everything is done, everything is over. I'm already done.

11-12. Pinkie wakes up. She meets with Rainbow Dash, Zecora, Fluttershy, Applejack, I, and Apple Bloom, in that order. 

Applejack always wakes when the sun comes up. That's five to six hours earlier.

Then, of course, there's the issue with the many changelings, who all turned out to be one changeling. What to do with that?

Many details must be remembered, and also, we must take this thing seriously. We must focus.

Finally, we need to revisit Fluttershy's and Rarity's stories and do them justice, but not now. Later.

The most important thing of all is to focus. 





Another thing. Let's get something straight. I did not know that this changeling would turn out to be such a strange character, and that he would do all these things, unbeknownst to me, and all the others around me, and I just want to say that I'm sorry for the hassle, any and all this might've caused, but we move on then, I guess. There's still much to say, and I don't know where to begin.

Here's for one thing. One changeling has pretended to be the other, but I think this thing might be more complicated, or strange, than we first thought. The one changeling might only have been pretending to be the other one, Anteforn pretending to be Esceforn, or better yet, maybe Anteforn is pretending to be Esceforn right now. Okay, okay. I know. Yes, this is becoming too much. I know. I know. Okay then, but I have a few more thoughts.

Maybe the time-travelling is something only one of them can do, and in which case, that's the one that must be causing most of the trouble, and, hm. The more I think about it, the more something just doesn't make sense.





At around ten, I woke up. I know because my sleeping patterns are adjusted to that time, so that's when I will wake up. So much is clear to me. Then, of course, I went to talk to Spike, and I was off to friendship school, but this has been a strange day. I remember that I was supposed to meet Rarity there, but clearly, as I got there, she hadn't arrived yet. This is before anything strange began happening.

Then, I met Applejack. I don't want to rush past any details now. I was sure that the person I met was Applejack, and I had several conversations with her about everything that had happened. She told me all about Apple-land, and then, the second Applejack, which I assume is the real one, arrived. I thought about what to do and what to say. Pinkie knocked on my door. She was worried about spiders. I was about to tell her that this really wasn't the best time, but then I saw the look in her eye. She was afraid, so I let her come in, and we talked for a bit, just about our emotions, and what it means, really means, to be afraid of something.

Then we parted ways. Oh, yes. Pinkie went over all this rather well, and of course, she really does have a good memory, an impeccable one. We parted ways, and another Applejack came running in the door. This might not be as confusing or strange as we first thought.





"No, shoot her. I'm the real Applejack." One Applejack pointed to the other. We were in the corridor of my castle, near the front entrance of the building. "She's a stinking imposter."

"I'm not really shooting you. It's just a spell."

"I still think you should shoot that other one." She pointed to the Applejack next to her.

"Don't say shooting. I'm not shooting anyone," I said, rather surprised.

"Why?"

"Because." I sighed, frowning at her, and I got a little angry. "Because it's ridiculous." I then fired my beam at her, shooting yes, nothing but magic, not a bullet and not a death laser.  

It wasn't surprising that I then saw a changeling in front of me, and I knew that not all of them could be the real Applejack. I tried the next one, but nothing happened. "Strange."

I went over to the third and final one, and nothing happened either. "Okay, something might be wrong with my magic."

The second one ran out the door. Pinkie was standing there now. She had come back. Hooray for that, but now, I didn't really know what to make of any of it, and it was all getting really strange and confusing in a way it hadn't been before. I figured whether I should run after, or sort things out with the Applejack that was left. 

Really though, what happened here is rather obvious, in hindsight. To begin with, nothing was wrong with my magic, so let's just put that out of the question immediately. The way in which this screwup happened is that the Applejacks switched places when I wasn't looking. When wasn't I looking? I wasn't looking when Pinkie came in the door. When I talked to the third Applejack, it was really the second, and real Applejack.  

In evidence is the fact that, if you remember Pinkie's story, the location of the Applejacks wasn't really consistent, and at one point, the second Applejack, the middle one, became the third one, and when I shot my beam at her, she really was the second one. Let me take you back a bit.





"I guess it must be me. Then again." The other Applejack pointed to the real Applejack. "She's getting away."

Twilight turned to her. "Yeah, but it still has to be you." She shot her beam, but nothing happened. "What the heck?" Twilight said. "What's going on here?" The other Applejack, who was also real, because the beam didn't turn her into a changeling, ran out the door, after the first Applejack. I walked closer to them. The green guy-changeling was still standing around there in the room next to Twilight.





Upon closer thought, it's kind of obvious. To Pinkie, the real Applejack was the third one, not the second, and I thought the real one was the second. The second is the one I hit with my beam, and the second one became the third one, because the third one switched places with the second one, right as I hit Applejack with my beam, and I know this because Pinkie almost noticed it. She pointed it out when this happened.





"Not for long," Twilight said. She fired the beam at another Applejack, but she remained as apple-y as she had ever been, meaning, I thought, that she was the real Applejack.





The room went quiet.

"I don't get it," Pinkie said.

"Maybe," Rainbow said.

"I haven't gotten the chance to talk about what happened yet," Rarity said. "I should get the chance."

I nodded. "I'm not saying you shouldn't, but this whole thing is really getting on my case."

Spike jotted some things down. "This whole thing is getting side-tracked."

"We'll get the tracks back," I said, nodding, and agreeing with him. "It's not over yet, not by a long shot."

"Okay," Pinkie said. "Can I see the book?" Pinkie grabbed the book out of Spike's hand, and he willingly relinquished it. Then, she laughed. "No, that isn't right," she said.

I nodded. "Can I guess?"

"Yes," Pinkie said.

"You meant an other Applejack, not another Applejack."

Rainbow gasped. "Oooh, okay." Then she shook her head. "That's stupid."

"Okay," I said. "It's still what happened."

"Yes," Pinkie said. "I really didn't mean it like that at all."

"Then?" Rainbow said. "What does that mean?"

"It means," Pinkie said. "That the other Applejack and the real Applejack are two different Applejacks, and the other Applejack, not being the real one, is the one that was hit with the beam, not the real one, who I thought was the fake one."

"Not only," Rainbow said, "does that make no sense, like at all. It also flies in the face of what happened. The point is that the one that got hit with the beam escaped."

"Yes," I said.

"Am I missing something?" Rainbow said.

"No," I said.

"Then what the heck is going on?"

I looked at Pinkie.

"I get it," Pinkie said. "That's actually clever."

Rainbow looked between us. "What the heck is going on?" 





Pinkie stood in front of us, looking at me. I turned Esceforn, who is apparently Anteforn's brother. Don't ask me what's going on or why we are even still on this. I turned Esceforn into a normal changeling. Then, Pinkie looked the other direction. Why? Because someone was running out the room. Then, I did it again, and nothing happened. That had to have been the real Applejack. At least, we can say it was, to preserve our sanity.





"Who ran out the door?" Rainbow said.

"Applejack," I said.

"Explain."





It's that simple. One of the Applejack's, the one I didn't turn into a changeling, because it was the real Applejack, ran out the door. Sadly, I thought the changeling was still in the room, but he left, and then, the third and final Applejack, the one I didn't shoot with the beam, took his place, turning into Esceforn. 





Rainbow stared at me. "What?"

"It's that simple," I said, excited that I had solved it, maybe. Had I?

"Oh," Pinkie said. "It's all because I looked the other way. I didn't see that the changeling left the room." 

"No," Rainbow said. "Applejack left the room."

"This whole thing," I said, "has been a colossal waste of time."

Pinkie got up in the face of Rainbow Dash. "Don't you get it? We've been duped. Boondoggled. Swindled, Rainbow Dash. Swindled."

"We've been swindled?"

"Yes," Pinkie said. "Swindled out of our boots."

"We, um, have boots?" she said.

"Yes, out of our boots."

I took a deep breath, steadying myself. "This is just a theory, but really, we don't have a lot to go on."

"No," Rainbow said. "This is stupid and confusing. Stop trying to answer questions that you don't have any answers for. It's a waste of time, and effort. It doesn't lead anywhere."

"Maybe," Twilight said, holding up Anteforn's book. "We could use this to help us."

"How?"





Twilight stood next to the three Applejacks, and Pinkie was across from her, in the other side of the room. Then, Pinkie turned around. She must've heard something. Actually, not knowing it, the thing she heard was the changeling leaving the room. So imagine this for a moment. Pinkie saw Twilight. Then, Twilight turned the one Applejack into a changeling. Then, that changeling ran out the door, and Twilight shot her beam at him. The changeling turned into Pinkie Pie, and then, ran out the door. Twilight hit Pinkie with the beam, rather than the changeling.  



 

"So my stupid-meter is going off," Rainbow said. "That doesn't even make sense with what happened."

"How so?" Twilight said.

"Pinkie ran away? You never said anything about that, and if she ran away, and there were one Applejack and one changeling left, then that doesn't explain anything, and how did said changeling get back into the room?"

"Because," I said, "he was there when we left? Yes, you're right. It's not as if I have all the answers, exactly, but instead of being negative, maybe you could, I don't know, help? Be of help? I'd like that."

"Whatever," Rainbow said. "What else does it say in that book?"

"Nope," I said. "That's it."

"That's stupid."

"Whatever. Maybe it is."

"It's extremely stupid."

I looked at Rainbow, and then to Pinkie, and then to the rest. "We're stuck in some kind of weird web of confusion that's been created between us."

"Yes," Pinkie said. "And it's getting worse. This guy is trying to confuse us."

I nodded, again. "That's what he said."

"We still haven't solved anything," Rainbow said.

"Hm," I said. "Hm."





"What happened then?" 

"Then," I told Pinkie, "you came running in the door."

We were now walking to Sweet Apple Acres, and before anything else happened, I was trying to get my story straight with Pinkie, and see if she agreed with me that all this indeed is what happened, and that I'm not wrong about any of it.

"I only did it," Pinkie said, "because someone else came running in the door. It was a mare. I didn't even know her. I don't think she even lives in Ponyville."

"Of course," I said, "we've already come to the conclusion that there's more than one changeling, so there's nothing surprising about that."

"But when I got inside, there was only you and three Applejacks."

"Wait a minute," I said. "That doesn't make any sense."





I looked at Rainbow Dash, waiting for Spike to write the last part down. "The more I think about it." I paused. "No, that can't be right."

"What can't be right?" Rainbow said, crossing her arms, and flying way up in the air, looking down on me. Of course, she wanted to look down on me, so she could take the social high-ground, in the conversation. "What can't be right?" 

"The third Applejack entered the room when there were already three Applejacks in there?"

"You have to be honest," Rainbow said. "You're clinging to details. Another and an other? A third Applejack? A fourth one? A second Pinkie?" 

"I admit. It's a stretch, but it's all we have to go on, so far."

"It's nothing to go on," Rainbow said.

"Now, now." Rarity entered into the conversation. "Let's not let that changeling get in-between us again."

"I just think we're talking about a whole bunch of nothing," Rainbow said. "Living in Ponyville and being around you guys has never been this confusing."

Rarity just got quiet.

Rainbow looked away from her, and stared blankly. "I just shoved my own foot in my mouth, didn't I?"

"No," Twilight said. "You're right. There's something off. It's like a curse."

"A curse?" Rainbow said. "Yes, a curse."

"We'll figure it out though," I said. "I know we will.





Spike was writing down the last of the conversation that Twilight had with the others. 

"Still," she said. "Maybe I don't need to reverse-engineer everything that happened before. I mean, he got arrested, didn't he?"

"Yes," Spike said. "Several times. What if another one is out there somewhere?"

"One can only wonder," Twilight said. "One can only wonder."

"By the second, this whole thing is confusing me more and more," Spike said. "What if there's another one out there?"

"Yes," she said. "Yes."

"I don't know what to do about any of this," he said. "Should we just continue on like this? Should we keep making a big deal of this whole thing?"

"Something is not right," Twilight said. "I can feel it. I can just feel it."

"What do you mean?"

"One changeling couldn't have exited the room with three Applejacks, because then, there wouldn't have been one changeling left."

"Honestly," Spike said. "None of that made any sense. You just went in a giant circle."

"I know," Twilight said. "I know."

"I think you're right though," he said. "There's one more thing that we need to solve, and I can't put my claw on it."

"Maybe," she said, "he didn't leave at all. Maybe he was still there in the room, as the other changeling, the fourth Applejack entered."

"There never was a fourth Applejack," he said.

"No," she said. "No, there sure never was a fourth one, but there's something more. There's something I'm missing here, and I think I'm starting to figure it out, maybe, just maybe."

"What?" he said.

"I got it," Twilight said. "I think I got it, but if, and, all of that. It's still crazy, if it's true, but I can test my hypothesis."





"Ahoy," Twilight said, walking aboard Captain Spider's ship once more. "I want an audience."

"With whom would you like an audience?" Captain Spider said, greeting Twilight. 

All the others were there too. Matey Jelly came up and hugged Twilight.

"With our prisoner?"

"Yes," Captain Spider said. "I figured you would say that."

"I didn't know what to do with you," Twilight said. "You're not crazy like the other guy. You were just confused, or were you?"

"Whatever do you mean?" Esceforn said, still tied around the mast. "This whole thing is not what I wanted to be seen. Everything that happened has been really, you know, mean." 

"I thought about what happened in my castle."

"Oh, did you?" he then said.

Twilight just looked at him. Then she continued. "How could there be two real Applejacks?"

"Maybe you're just confused," he said.

Twilight noticed that he had stopped rhyming. "And then, I realized something."

"What?"

Twilight stared at him, waiting for him to say something. "I think it's rather obvious, don't you?"

"What's obvious?"

Twilight looked at him, shaking her head. "Really, it would be much better for you, and for me, if you just fessed up."

Esceforn shook his head at that. "Fess up? Why would I need to fess up? Why? Why?"

"There were two real Applejacks in there, and there were two changelings in there."

Esceforn shook his head. "No."

"Yes, and the proof is of course that the both of them were fakes. Didn't you paint the real Applejack black? When in her story did she clean off?"

"You're right," he said. "I made it too obvious."

Twilight then shot her beam at him, and he turned into the black changeling with the scar. "Whoops. Ho-ho-ho-hoops!"  

"Yes," she said. "As I thought."

"Tch, you ruined the fun," he said. "This could've been a lot more fun if you hadn't taken the whole thing so seriously, h- h- hun."

"The show ends," Twilight said.

"Okay," he said. "So what? Hey! I'm the real guy, caught! What's the big fuss? Don't be such a, um, wuss?"

"I'm beginning to suspect something much worse," she said. "I think you're all the real guy, and I don't know how many more there are of you out there."

"I see," he said. "How me?"

"Because we never actually got any real confirmation that was your brother, and that person, in all actuality, was you, so you see? Where is your brother, if you really have one? And who are you exactly? Enough with the games."

"You don't even know," he said. "I'm just here because I'm in love with the show."

"What's the show?"

"Oh, I love messing with ponies, like you." 

Twilight was beyond herself. "Messing with ponies?"

"I love messing with ponies, like you, and I happen to be powerful enough to do it- ooonies," he said, shrieking the last word out. "You know why, my little firefly?"

"Why?"

"Because all's well that–"

Twilight grabbed his mouth in a hue of magic and pushed it together. "You've ruined our day. You're ruined the perfect structure of our lives."

"Whatever do you mean?" he said.

Twilight was aghast. "None of this was supposed to happen the way it happened. Everything is chaos now. I remember what Pinkie, Rainbow, and Applejack said. Their days had been the weirdest ever, and it's because none of this was supposed to happen. It's all been a sham, and a lie."

"Can you prove it, my butterbean?"

"Stop making such comments," she said. "It's absolutely pointless, and absurd, and stupid."

He was just quiet, quietly looking at her.

"Also, there's something else," she said. "What is your real name?"

He shook his head. "Maybe I just don't have a name, b- because I think names are lame, and stupid. Putrid."

"Is your real name Esceforn?"

He was only quiet, not even looking at her now.

"What is the road out of all this?" Twilight said. "What is the solution?"





Twilight's Solution

I'm writing this letter to you, Thorax, because I'm in a bit of a tussle, and I don't know what to do. I seek your guidance and help. For one thing, there's something seriously strange with this changeling, and I still can't figure out what it is. You may know by now what it is I'm talking about. He can travel in time, and he has strange ways, and somehow, he has taken over our lives in a way that makes it impossible for us to focus, and live in peace. We constantly have arguments, really, about nothing -- who did what and why. Who is a changeling? Who isn't one? Is no one a changeling? Is everyone a changeling? I've come to realize that there is no fast and easy solution to this problem, but as I've thought more and more about it, I've realized some things, some important things.

First of all, you never came here, did you? I figured that out, since you said things that I would never hear you say. You said things like, "Believe it or not, we've had worse cases than this before," which I'm sure is not true, based on our history together, and everything that has happened, and there are many details that seem off. You barely said a word to us. I might be wrong about this. It's possible that I'm just being paranoid, but I don't think so, and just to be safe, I'm sending this letter in a way that can't be intercepted, using Spike. I hope you will come here soon, if you haven't already. 

Another interesting tidbit is that this changeling has multiplied in the last few days, and there has become more and more of him. Of course, I've made sure to check that it isn't one of my friends, which has actually happened, once or twice, which is disturbing, and slightly worrying, but also, I know that I can do something about it, so that's good too, and I'm happy. I think there's a way to solve this, but it won't be easy. Imagine this for a moment. Each time he goes back in time, he has to go forward in time again, so he can travel back and forth, and not get stuck there. If he was only acting at a single point in time, then that wouldn't be a problem. The issue is that it's all spread out, and that's what makes the whole problem so, well, problematic.

It's important to note that there actually aren't several of him, there is just one, but he's travelled back in time several times and so, it seems like there are several of him. There aren't. There's only one, and that one has to be located somewhere, in the present, or in the future. If someone travels back in time for five minutes, then he can't be in the present for five minutes. For every second of time you steal, you have to give it back, but then, that also means that the present has to come somewhere. Somewhere is the one that has travelled back in time, being in the present, and continuing to do so, and then, travelling forward in time again, so he can get back, and do it again. Does that make sense? I hope it is. I'm still not completely sure of it myself.

As always, take care. I'll hear from you later. 

Signed, Twilight Sparkle.





"Hey, Spike. Send the letter." He did. Then everything seemed fine. Nothing new had happened after the last day, so the dust may have settled a bit.

A single book in Twilight's bookshelf moved and out from behind it came a bug. It grew into a full-grown changeling.

"Yes, I'm still here."  

Twilight looked at him. "Why though? This thing has gone from ridiculous to absurdly strange. Why even? What do you want? Apple-land?"

"Dear," he said. "I just want anything that is a show, Apple-land included, because I love pretending, but I'm not deluded. I know you guys don't like me. Big deal. In the end you will all see. Then, your fate is sealed, already."

"What?" Twilight said.

"I'll keep this going forever, and I'll have your names on a sheet. I am clever. I want you all to sign my paper, and greet me at the door, when I leave, and soon, Rainbow-topia will be a thing too, because it's true. I'm cleverer than you."

"What?" Twilight said again.

He whispered something. Twilight looked at him. Then he disappeared.





I looked at Applejack's house.





"I know you did," Spike said.

"I think it's also important to note," Twilight said, that travelling back and forth in time like that can be extremely dangerous.





"Hey!" I looked at the book. "Hey, you guys." The book was getting filled up with new stuff.

"What is it, Spike?"

"Hey, look at the book," he said. "It's changing."

"How is it changing?"

"It's- it's saying what's happening right now."

"Oh," Twilight said. "It's incredibly annoying, obnoxious, and creepy too, but it's good that you mentioned it anyway. It can be useful to know when it happens, and in what context."

Spike looked at Twilight. "Doesn't that mean he's right here in the room with us?"

"Maybe," she said. "Where could it be then?" She did the spell, shooting a waterfall of magic across a wall that floated down. "I don't see anything over here." She tried all four walls of the room. "No, nothing." Then she sat down. "I don't know, Spike. I really don't know, but if there's a solution to this thing, it's certainly passed right under my nose."

"Something seems impossible about all this," Spike said. "Like a trick is being played. Pure chaos. Everything has gotten more and more chaotic."

"Yeah," she said. Then, she blinked. "Yes, wait." She stood up. "I got it."

"Got what?"

"Let's go see the spirit of chaos."

"Oh," Spike said. "Yes, let's."





Discord laughed. He cackled. "I don't see what the problem is. Do you, Spike?" Spike didn't say anything. "It's hilarious."

"Okay," Twilight said. "Can you fix it?"

That just made Discord laugh even louder. "What do you want me to do?" He flicked a tear out of his eye that fell down, grew, and landed on Twilight, soaking her.

"It says here in the book. Ehum. He is the noticer of things, and he is the one that has been observing these ponies as they tell their stories, and he is here. He is real. He is actual. He exists."

"So what?" Discord said, smiling.

"Also," Twilight said. "He, in his own mind, was only an actor, among actors, observing himself and others. He liked doing so, and what you're currently reading are his thoughts."

Discord grinned, and coughed. "Okay, okay. Give me a second." He grabbed a brown paper bag out of nowhere and laughed into it. It grew larger than Twilight, and then, it exploded, its pieces slapping against Twilight's face, as they bounced off in all directions. "Okay, I'm good," he said. 

"Yes," Twilight said. "So something is going on. This person is clearly spying on us."

"Oh, what do you know?" Discord said.

"He isn't?"

Discord landed in front of Twilight. "I didn't say he wasn't." He flew up, and landed behind her. "What do you think, Spike my friend?" 

"You don't anything seriously," Spike said.

"What do you expect?" Discord said, extending his arms, and shrugging. "This whole thing is ridiculous. You could defeat me, but you can't defeat a person who's not even trying to harm you?"

"In the one case, we knew what you were doing, but we don't even know what motivates this person," Twilight said. "Where is he? He could be anywhere, and if we knew what he wanted, then we could locate him, the same way we have with other villains."

"Have you considered this, Twilight?" Discord said.

"What? Have I considered what?"

Discord laughed. "Maybe that's exactly what he wants."

"What?"

"Exactly."

"What?"

Discord pinched Twilight's cheek. "Oh, you look so cute when you're confused."

"Okay," Twilight said, cheek pinched. "I still don't get it." Discord let go.

"Listen," he said. "Back when I was, um, evil? Is that the word? Back before I met Fluttershy, I think is more accurate. I used to do this kind of thing all the time. I tried to make ponies think I was everywhere at once, to confuse them. Why?"

"Why?" Twilight said.

"I don't know," Discord said, shrugging. "I thought it was fun. Dare I say it? It was like a show."

"Have you read the book?" Twilight said, looking suspicious.

"Look inside the book," Discord said, rolling his eyes.

Twilight scrolled through the pages, and in there was an eye. The page was covered in slime. The eye fell out.  

"But you already have two eyes," Twilight said, looking up at his face. 

"Oh, posh," Discord said, peeling off an eye-shaped sticker that was in place of where an eye would be. "Come here, you," he said. His eye slowly bounced toward him.

"Discord!" Twilight said.

The eye rolled off. "No," Discord said, chasing after it. "You scared it."

"Discord," Twilight said, more quietly. "Please, my friend."

Discord turned around, only one eye in his face. Then he walked up to Twilight. His other eye rematerialized into the socket, out of nowhere. 

"What is it?" he said. "What do you want?"

"Can you bring them all here?"

"No," Discord said.

Twilight cocked her head, slightly. "Is it that you can't, or that you don't want?"

Discord shrugged. "I just can't. I don't know."

"What do you mean?" Twilight said, now calm, and much more serene than before.

"There are several possibilities," Discord said. "It's possible that there aren't several of them, and that he's just been playing some kind of trick on you."

"I know that can't be true," Twilight said.

"Or," Discord said. "He has some type of way of blocking my magic. Look." He snapped his fingers, and a single changeling with a scar appeared out of thin air, suspended, and landed on the ground. "There's only one," Discord said, lifting him up. "What do we do?" he said, pretending to faint, falling apart on the ground.

"Discord," Twilight said, touching his body. "I know you're still awake." He didn't move. "Discord, please. Discord. Discord." Twilight sighed.

"You need some help?" the changeling with the scar said.

"I don't know what's going on," Twilight said. "There can't only be one of you."

"You need some–" Discord rose up and picked him up, making him pipe down.

"Now," Discord said. "What are you exactly?" He held up the changeling in one hand.

"Yelp," the changeling said, not really saying anything after that, and then, his body started melting, turning into a mass of colors. The thick gunky fluid melted out of Discord's hand.

"Hm," Discord said, and snapped his fingers, but the changeling just melted into the ground, until there was nothing but a puddle. Discord snapped his fingers again. "Curious."

"What's curious?" Twilight said.

"Oh," Discord said. "I don't know."

"What's curious?" Twilight said, again.

Discord pointed at the puddle. "He seems to have melted. Is that your judgement too, or do you have a different opinion, Twi?" He leaned toward Twilight, staring earnestly into her eyes, and indeed, locking eyes with her.

"You don't know what it is?" she said.

"No," he said.

Spike walked up and touched the puddle. Some of it got on his hand, and then, it ran up his body, and jumped off, running back toward the place where it originated. 

Spike touched his head. "I'm not even wet."

"Go figure," Discord said, as if it was obvious. "He's not really a liquid. He's a person."

"Okay," Twilight said. "So what have we figured out here exactly?"

"Nothing," Discord said, smiling, grinning. "But it was still fun. Thank you for that, Twilight."

"Okay," she said, feeling dizzy. "You're welcome."

"You can call me, or whatever, when something new happens," Discord said. "Now I," he said, chortling. "I- I..." He burst out laughing. "Need to go. Hahaha. Ridiculous. Stupi–" he said, and he was gone.

"Okay," Twilight said, again. "Okay then."





"Hey, Spike," Twilight said. "You are Spike, aren't you?"

Spike frowned. "Twilight, I've been with you the whole time."

"Right," she said. "Right. I just feel paranoid. Can I just?" And then, she shot the beam at Spike, not even really finishing her question. Nothing happened.

"Twilight," he said, angrily. "Cut it out."

"Right," she said. "Right. I'm sorry."

"Twilight, you know me," he said.

"Yes," she said. "I do." 





"What to make of it? What to make of it?" Twilight said. "I will solve this mystery, but I can't do it alone."

Rainbow glared a bit, looking unsure. "Aren't you just being kind of obsessive, Twi? I mean, it's over now, right?"

Twilight, rather than saying anything, handed the book to Rainbow.

"But why?" Rainbow said. "Why would a person even do this?"

"We don't know," Twilight said. "We truly don't know."





I was in the farm, and I met with a bunch of ponies, including you, Rainbow Dash, though I venture to guess that wasn't really you. Making sense of all this has become difficult, but at least, I think we're making progress. I was talking to Pinkie, but we got separated, and then, I found her at the barn, and Applejack was there too. Why? How? I don't know, but I want to find out. I spoke to Pinkie, and she said that she was happy to see me, and then, something happened. Something weird happened. I got hit with one of those arrows. Um, no, darts.  





"Wait a minute," Rainbow said. "What did you just call it? Why, I'd never." She laughed.

"Yes," Twilight said.

Rainbow laughed. "You sure you're the real Twilight?"

Applejack bit Rainbow's tail and pulled her closer. "Rainbow," she said.

"I'm just joking, Applejack," Rainbow said. "Hey, Twilight. Those are some funny memories, aren't they?"

"Okay," Twilight said, trying to focus. "Okay then."

Rainbow Dash glanced toward Applejack. "I hope she really is Twilight."

Applejack just groaned, and drew her hat down so it covered her face. She said nothing, just groaning.

"Okay then," Rainbow said. "Continue please, will you?"

"Yes," Twilight said.





This has all been a strange affair, a complicated one, but we'll make sense of it, eventually. I was in the barn, and then, another Twilight came running, and she hit me with the dart, and when I woke up, the barn was empty. Figure that, you guys. 





"No," Pinkie said. "That's not what happened. It's Applejack that got hit with the dart."

Twilight shrugged. "I'm just telling the story as I remember it."

"No, you're not," Pinkie said.

"I'm not?"

"No."

"Are you sure?" Twilight said, carefully.

"Yes," Pinkie said. Pinkie then called out into the corridor, outside the map-room, that they were currently in, "Starlight."

Twilight just stood there, not saying anything. Then Starlight Glimmer came running.

"It's Twilight," Pinkie said. Starlight did the anti-changeling spell on Twilight, and her appearance reversed into that of a changeling.

"I made it a bit too obvious there," he said. "Didn't I?"

"Where's Twilight?" Starlight said, more confused than angry, and not threatened by this stranger in the slightest.

Twilight came walking in the door. "Oh my gosh," she said. 

Starlight did the spell on her but nothing happened. 

"Thank you," Twilight said.

"I don't want you to leer," he said. "I don't want you to sigh. I want you all to be happy, happy as pie."

Pinkie instinctively looked toward him. "What are you even doing?"

"I don't know," he said, "but I do know one thing."

"What?" Pinkie said. "What is it?"

"No," Twilight said, plugging his mouth. He slurred through the hue of magic that was plugged into his mouth. "No, he will disappear again."

"Not that it matters," Starlight said. "Even if you keep him here, you can't keep him here. He'll show up someplace else anyway."

"How did you do it?" Twilight said, letting go of his mouth.

"I can't say, oh no," he said. "You have to figure it out for your of sake, th- thing, ding. Bing. K–"

"No," Twilight said, plugging his mouth again. "Please, tell us."

"Twi," Pinkie said. "He can't very well talk with his mouth plugged up, can he?"

Twilight let go of him. "Rainbow Dash is right. This thing is stupid."

Rainbow frowned. "She just said I was right. Do the beam again."

"I already did," Starlight said, shaking her head.

"No," Rainbow said, decisively. "Do it again."

She did. Twilight turned into a changeling.

"What the heck?" Rainbow said. "Is the spell deficient?" Rainbow looked to where the other changeling had been, but he appeared to be gone.

He laughed. "It's still funny to me that you haven't figured it out yet. It's not even that hard, I'll bet." 

"What?" Rainbow said. "What?"

"Hm," Pinkie said, putting on her detective hat. "Hm." 

"What?" Rainbow said, again.

Twilight came walking down the corridor, and into the room, the same way she had last time.

"Now, this presents a problem," Starlight said, looking to the opening from the corridor, and back at her friends, and the chortling changeling. "How do we know you're the real Twilight?"

"Just do the spell on me," she said.

Pinkie started laughing. 

"Really," Twilight said. "Not now, Pinkie."

"All's well that ends well," Pinkie said.

The changeling walked up to Pinkie. He had thus far stood behind her, and now, he locked eyes with her, blocking off her view of Twilight.

"Really?" he said. "You're the one to figure it out. Seriously- ly? Serious? S- seri- oh forget it," he said, sitting down on the ground, and pouting. 

"I can't tell if you're just acting silly," Pinkie said. "Where did you learn how to do that?"

"But you're stupid," he said. "You can't be the one to figure it out, Pinkie the- Pinkie the ID." 

"No, I'm not," Pinkie said.

"Yes, you are."

"No."

"So far," he said, standing up.

"Hey, Starlight," Pinkie said. "Can't you do a spell on him that stops him from doing magic?"

"O- okay," Starlight said. She did.

"Now, let's talk," Pinkie said, smiling.

He smiled back. "All's well th–"

"Twilight," Pinkie said. "Let him do it." 

Twilight just let go, without saying anything.

"All's well that ends well," he said. Nothing happened. "All's well- hell," he said, taking a breath. "All's well that ends well." Nothing happened, again.

"Well, I did do that spell on him," Starlight said.

"Exactly," Pinkie said. "Now, do it so that he can do magic, again." Starlight did. Pinkie smiled at him. The room was quiet.  

He didn't say anything. 

"All's well that ends well," Pinkie said. 

He just jumped up into the air, looking around.

"All's well that ends well," she said, again.

He sighed. "All's well that ends well," he said. Nothing happened. "Pray tell," he said. "Could you tell me the way out of the castle?"  

Starlight just stared. "Something stupid is going on," she said.

"He could never travel in time," Pinkie said. "Isn't that kind of obvious by now?"

Twilight walked in the room. "It's simple, really," she said. "To be in several places at once, oh, I don't want to ruin it for Pinkie."

Starlight shot her magic beam at Twilight, but nothing happened, and then, Twilight rubbed her hoof against her own fur. It left a mark, though it was faint. Twilight took a few deep breaths. Then, she grabbed her own hair in a green hue and pulled it off, putting it on the floor. Twilight took a few more deep breaths, and her skin seemed to loosen a bit. She stretched out her legs, and then, she walked out of the skin, leaving it on the floor. 

"Really," the now black creature said, transforming back into Twilight, through a green fire that surrounded him. "There are more ways of disguising yourself than one."

"What?" Starlight said. She looked to where the changeling had been a second ago, as there should now be two in the room, but the other was gone. "Huh?"

"There was only ever one of me," the fake-Twilight then said. "Gosh, you're all so boring. Can't you just let loose for a minute and look at how fun this all is?"

"But the other guy," Starlight said.

"Yeah." Rainbow landed beside her. "What about the other guy?"

He laughed, that being the fake-Twilight, not the real one. Then, Twilight came walking down the corridor.

Pinkie stood back. She looked at the changeling, and then at Twilight, who was in the other end of the room. Then, she took another step back, and another one. The changeling disappeared, and then, there was only Twilight, standing in the corridor. Pinkie took a step closer, and he reappeared, and Twilight disappeared, and then, Pinkie touched him. 

"All's well that ends well," the one that Pinkie was next to said. "Right, Twilight?" It was empty at the door now, but everyone was still confused, except for Pinkie.

"Silly," Pinkie said. Pinkie ran to the shelf, picked out a small book, and threw it toward the door of the room, and the corridor outside shattered, and fell to pieces. "This is too easy," Pinkie then said, bringing a pipe out her pocket, and blowing bubbles out of it. 

"But how could you be everywhere at once?" Rainbow said. 

The fake-Twilight laughed. "All I had to do was plant a seed of doubt. Nothing more. You did the rest on your own. I wasn't everywhere at all."

"Where were you then?" Rainbow said.

"Okay," Twilight said. "I'll tell the story. It's funny, really funny."





Applejack arrived at the train station very early in the morning. I knew she would, since I sent her the invitation myself. Heheheh! And then, of course, I pretended to receive her baggage, which was prime-time to steal her invitation, just to mess with her, and then, as I entered the train, I brought her baggage into the front-car on the train, you know. I brought it into the place where you hew coal and stuff. I threw the baggage into the coal-fire-pit-thingy, and then, and then, when the driver came in the door, I pretended to be him, and scared him away. It was easy-peasy. When Applejack arrived, all I had to do was act a little crazy, and none of that was a hassle. It was simple, and fun. I messed with her a little bit, and then, I had to leave the train, to make sure I got to Apple-land before she did. I made sure to empty out the oven that has coal in it, just a little bit, so I could be faster than the train, and get there in time.   

This is funny. I pretended to be the manager of Apple-land, when in all actuality, it has its own manager. Applejack met with him. Of course, in my brilliance, I tried making her out to be the bad guy, using cues in the crowd, but Applejack is smart, and she outsmarted me in all that, and then, I hit her with my dart and brought her to a room, and I made her look like a changeling, just to give you guys a clue. She ran out, after I released her, and next is the part where I pretended to be the manager, and then, I followed Applejack to Ponyville, saying that I wanted to meet with Zecora. I did, but first, I had to lose Applejack, so I ran around the train a few laps, until she had left, and she of course must've thought everyone was a changeling. Pinkie thought that Applejack wasn't Applejack probably, and rather, that she was just a black pony, when they met up before going to Zecora.





Pinkie nodded. "That's when you asked me to tell you something only I would know," she said to Applejack. 

Applejack looked like she had been hit with a truck, or something. She just stood there in the map-room, gaping.





Anyway, I tied up Zecora, and tried scaring her a little bit. Then, I got out into town to have some fun. I made Pinkie think I was Zecora, and then, one thing led to the next. I had to be a bit resourceful to trick Twilight, but I finally got the idea to dress up as Applejack, and make sure to walk in the room right before she got there. Then, there would be three Applejacks. Why? Oh, no reason. Can you guess?  





"Was it a mirror?" Starlight said.

"No," he said. "That wouldn't have worked." He was still pretending to be Twilight. "Think again."

"Where is Twilight by the way?"

"Oh," he said. "I led her off on a wild goose chase."

"Where?"

The fake-Twilight shook her head. "She's with Spike, parading around Ponyville, trying to look for clues still. Silly Twilight."





You almost had it before, but of course, walking around the other Applejacks could've just led to me getting caught, and switching the order wouldn't have worked, because the room was full of eyes, and ponies looking, so I had another idea. I came in the room. Twilight said hello to me, and then, I left. Then, I came into the room again, dressed up as Applejack, and then, I left. Now, I bet Twilight was getting confused. Then, I dressed myself up as Applejack, and I used the element of surprise. When Twilight wasn't looking, I teleported out of my suit, and left it standing there.  





"A suit?" Pinkie said. She grabbed the creepy Halloween Twilight skin and held it up. It sank down into the ground. "It doesn't stand on its own. Your story doesn't fit."

"Give me your pipe," Twilight said in response, grabbing it and pulling it out of Pinkie's grip, but she didn't see any magic.

"How?" Pinkie said.

Fake Twilight handed it back. Pinkie looked inside it. The magic field was shining, but it was inside the pipe.

"Oh, really?" Pinkie said.





It was perfect. Then, I just had to make the real Applejack come there, and come to think of it, make her body-paint go away. I located her outside Zecora's house not all that long before I got to Ponyville, and I thought that when Applejack came into the castle, or close to it, I would pounce, but she didn't, so I shot some random pony with a dart and dressed her up as Applejack. It was simple, really, and then, when Twilight tried to be all clever and do her spell on me, all I had to do was act cool, and make it seem as if the spell made my suit come off, and then, I turned into a green changeling, and it's all really simple when you think about it. It all goes back to this trick, and this assumption, that you all had about changelings and how they always must be using magic to turn into other ponies. 

For the rest of the day, I mostly just lured in the bushes and shot ponies with darts. I made a trap, no, two traps, one in Sweet Apple Acres, and one at Zecora's house, and then, the traps were sprung. That was funny. I turned into a bug, and a snake, and all sorts of things, and watched it from a distance, like Discord would, before he became lame. 





"How did you get around?" Pinkie said. "I demand an explanation." 

She shot a bubble that exploded in Twilight's face.

"Changelings have magic too," Twilight said, teleporting to the door, and then back. "So you see how I'm the smartest guy in the universe, right?" she said, smiling. "Wasn't that fun? You want to do it again?"

"Somehow," Pinkie said, "I feel like you hijacked something else that was going on. Is that just me, you guys?"

Rainbow nodded. "Yeah, we were having fun. You just want to make everything about you." She pointed at Twilight. "That's lame. That's the real lame thing here."

"All's well that ends well," she said, teleporting back to the door. "Good luck catching me." 

Then, she was hovered up, and the glass on the floor was moved to the sides, and Twilight and Spike walked in. 

"Hey, guys. I solved it. It turns out he was dressing out in a suit, and getting around the effects of the counter-spell that way. I'll tell you all about it right now, but first, let's trap this guy so he doesn't escape, and don't worry. There's only one of him. It was all a trick all along. I realized that because–"

"We know," everyone said in unison.

"But don't you want to hear my explan–"

"No!"

"Okay," Twilight said, quieting down. "What happened when I was gone?"

"It's all documented in my book," fake-Twilight said. "For posterity."

"Okay," Twilight said.

"By the way," fake-Twilight said. "I was already trapped. They were about to catch me, Twilight. You did nothing to help them. If anything, you were just in their way."

"Wow," Twilight said, looking to the others. "Can you believe this guy?" 

He teleported out of Twilight's grip and into another room. Twilight teleported and was gone for a few seconds. Then, she came back, with her arm around him.

"I think this will be useful," she said, putting a small ring around his horn. 

"Yes, anti-magic artifacts. Yay. I haven't seen that one before," he said, still looking like Twilight. Then, he turned back into a changeling.

"Tomorrow, Thorax will arrive here," Twilight said.

"Whatever," he said. "You think you're so clever. I'll make it harder next time. I'll make the challenge impossible to climb."

"There won't be a next time," Twilight said.

"Oh, well see about that. Big cat."

Pinkie stepped to Twilight, smiling at her, still wearing the hat, and holding the pipe. "How did you figure it out?"

Another pony came walking in the room, holding something. It was a suit, that looked like the skin and fur of Applejack. The pony in question was none other than Lyra Heartstrings. 

"Hello there," he said to her, smiling. She just walked up to him and kicked him in the face. He collapsed on the ground. "Oh, dear." Then, he was unconscious. 





"There are more things to do," I said, writing down my own thoughts into the little diary we had created, Twilight and the others.

"What?" Twilight said.

"Let's finish what we started. It was fun, wasn't it? Before the whole thing with the thing happened, that is. Wasn't it?"

"You know what, Spike?" Pinkie said, hugging me. "I think that's a splendid idea."

"Then," Spike said, "who wants to tell the story of Captain Spider?" 

Rainbow said, "I vote for Pinkie, honestly. I think she was best narrator, a dark-horse talent."

"Okay," Pinkie said.

"Yeah," Applejack said, and the others quietly agreed, and so it was.

I still had a weird feeling that this whole thing wasn't over yet, and what in the world was this changeling's problem? There were still many unanswered questions, but that's for another time, I think. Now, it's time for fun, and who doesn't like that?
> Interlude: The Best Adventure Ever
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"One, two, three, four. I declare a burp war." Then I burped.

Rainbow Dash burped too. She burped louder. She had an impressive burp, if I do say so.

No one else burped. How boring.

"You win," I said.

Rainbow pumped her hoof in the air.

Okay, yeah, so we were going on the sea, in a boat that we had borrowed, basically looking for trouble. We were following the map that the little spider had given us. You remember the little spider? Of course you do. It gave me a map, and then, we followed it, out on adventure. Yes, yes, I know. This was after everything that happened with the changeling. Do we really even have to get into that, Twilight?

Nothing mattered to us, as we braved the seas. I was up on deck, doing my normal boating games, and now, there was plenty of space to do them in, so that felt great. It really did. I love doing that, and I especially love being around my friends. I love a lot of things that I got to do that day, and it was a beautiful day. I'm just happy. Thank Celestia we got to do all this. This is the story of the best adventure ever. 





I looked through my spyglass. I thought I saw another ship out there, but on second thought, maybe it was nothing, so I kept on hula-hopping through the ship. 

"Hey," Rainbow said. "Watch it, pal."

"I'm sorry," I said. Then I stopped. "I want to go baking now." So I did. I baked. I walked inside the ship and baked. "How does baking inside ships work?" I said. "Maybe not any different than normal baking." I picked up a carton of eggs. Then I dropped it, eggs going all across the floor. "Stupid eggs. I can't even look at them." 

"Hey," Rainbow said.

I tried picking up the egg-mess off the floor, swiping at it with my hoof. "Not now, Rainbow. I'm doing eggs."

"Pinkie, it's time to get serious." I looked at the mess, and then, I walked out into the outside of the ship, to see what the fuss was about.

A giant spider was standing there, with his pirate-skull hat. It was Captain Spider. "Har-har-har."

"You want any eggs?" I said. "Do spiders eat eggs?"

"Now, you will tremble under the wrath of my spindly claws." Captain Spider laughed. All the other ponies, I mean my friends, were just standing there, confused. "Har."

"Um," I said. "But there's only one of you, and many of us."

Then, a bunch of guys climbed into the ship. It was Matey Jelly, Hairy the hare, the manic manatee, and of course, the great Trot-fox. How do I even remember their names? I never would've remembered it if it wasn't for what happened next, not that these guys weren't memorable. 





Matey Jelly was playing the accordion. Captain Spider danced around.

"Nobody's smart but me," Captain Spider said, dancing.

Rainbow looked at me. "Where in the world could Twilight be? Just when you need her."

"She was going exploring," I said, smiling at Rainbow.

"Now," Captain Spider said, "where's the booty?"

I looked at Captain Spider, and then I turned to Rainbow. "Is he referring to our butts?"

Rainbow Dash looked away. Then she looked back at me, blushing. "Whatever, Pinkie. Just whatever, you know."

"What?"

Captain Spider walked up to us, while dancing. "Hello there, my scurvy little ponies."

Rainbow Dash looked to me. "Should we be fighting them? I mean, they haven't even tied us or anything?"

I shrugged. 

"Now," Captain Spider said, laughing. "Let me introduce you to my crew."

"Pass," Rainbow said, trying to kick Captain Spider in the wooden leg he has, but to no avail. The leg never even budged. Do you believe it? 

Captain Spider laughed, and then, he laughed louder and louder. "Ahaha. What jolly good fun."

"Could you stop laughing?" Rainbow said. She turned around to the others. "What are you just standing there for?"

"Well," Applejack said. "They haven't attacked us or nothing, um, yet."

"Yet is right," Rainbow said. "We need to get the upper hand."

Then, Matey Jelly's accordion-playing changed, and she got into a little rhythm, with a beat, and Captain Spider said, "Now, listen up my little ponies, and please do not be glum. This is not a place for ponies, a pirate's life's no fun! Unless you know the way around, and come to think, I do. So listen up, and let me tell you all about my crew."

"Um," Rainbow said. She whispered into my ear, "This is crazy."

"Okay," I said. "At least they're not hurting us or anything. They're just talking and walking around."

"Now, this is Matey Jelly," Captain Spider sang. "She's the first I knew." He hugged her. "We came up with this idea of pirating for two. She helped build my crew, and then, I sang wahoo. Knowing that she has been there makes me happy too."  

The entire crew broke out. "You ponies too. You're gonna join the crew. Or else you walk the plank, and we will leave you in the blue."  

"Oh, no," I said.

"Ho-ho," Captain Spider said.

I looked around. "No, I don't want it."

Captain Spider laughed. Matey Jelly broke out a solo on her accordion. Then, he kept singing. "Now, here's a little hare, whose name is Hairy, the hare. He came to where, to be and share, alike with me and you. He, and me, and everybody, together are we free, sharing the fruit of our honest labooor."

"Labor?"

"Labooor," Captain Spider sang. "And that is very true."

"It is?"

"Yes," Captain Spider said. "And you will get a part of it too, once you join us."

I shook my head. "I didn't sign up for this."

"Now, over here," Captain Spider said, "we have the manatee. He is kind of crazy, and manic as can be, but he is a manatee, and that is very sweet. We like him, even though we cannot also to him speak."

"Huhuh," the manatee said.

Then, all broke out. "Yo-hoho! We want you to us join. And then you will get all you need, inside our little boat."  

"Hm," I said. "Is this a song?"

"Yes," Rainbow said. No. Yelled.

"Yes, I- never mind."

Captain Spider walked up to the fox. "Here we have a member of our crew of which I'm proud. Not that I'm not the others, but this is allowed. I'm really proud, especially, of this little guy. I like him and I'm proud of him."

"I'm the Trot-fox," he said. "You can't find a word that rhymes with fox?"

"Fox, fox, fox," Captain Spider broke out, and others, except for the fox, sang with him. "Fox-ely, fox-ely, fox! Fox-e fox-e, fox-fox-fox. We like having a fox!"

"Box?" the fox said. "Rocks? Docks? There are loads of words."

"We found him on the rocks," Captain Spider said.

The Trot-fox just said, "Okay."

"Then," Captain Spider said. "Let me tell you my backstory."

"How long is this freaking song?" Rainbow yelled, over the accordion. "Are you kidding me?"

Captain Spider ignored her. "Once, I was a little spider, without any dreams. But then I saw a lot of hope, if just only gleams. I saw a way to make my way, away across the world, and the one that inspired me, is Matey Jelly, yay." 

"Yay," she said.

"Now, listen up, and hear my song, and don't be looking glum," he said. "Matey Jelly here, inspired, helped me to drink rum. She taught me everything there is, about pirating. And then she did more things, and you will hear her sing." 

"Yay," she said. "I'm just a jellyfish, trying to survive, on the wild, wild, wild seaaas. Yay. I'm Matey Jelly."

Rainbow Dash sat down beside me. I was into it. Rainbow Dash looked, not angry, just confused. Well, who could blame her? I mean, right?

"And," Captain Spider said. "Cut off her jelly-leg." He pointed at her wooden leg. "Just so she could be, a pirate, which she is, so listen to my creed. She's a pirate now, and she became one, and that's neat." 

"Running out of rhymes?" Rainbow said. "Peh."

Captain Spider sang, "She cut off her jelly-leg, just so she could be, a pirate, which she is, so listen as I sing." 

"You sing?" I said.

"Listen up," Captain Spider said. "Who wants to walk the plank?" Everyone shouted.

"Crazy," Rainbow said.

Then, all sang, and even the manic manatee slurred along, making manatee sounds. "It's time for fate, a pirate and a day. To make you one of us and say, hey-hey-hey-hey." Everyone got quiet. "Heeey." 

Captain Spider leaned against the side of the ship, catching his breath. "Ho-boy. I'm not as young as I used to be, back when I was a wee little spider."

"Okay," Rainbow said.

"I feel," I said, "that we've learned a lot about these guys in a short little while, so at least that's good."

"Okay, yeah. I guess," Rainbow said.

I looked at her, grimacing. "Now what?"

"Now," Captain Spider said. "Now, it's time to choose."





"I'm not sure I want to choose." I was hanging in a rope upside down. "Maybe I could choose to be friends. What do you think about that, you guys?"

"No," Captain Spider said. "There is no such choice. Either you choose to come with us, or you walk the plank."

Rainbow was hanging beside me, hanging down from the mast. "I don't know what you're babbling about, Pinkie. Of course we don't want to be part of their crew. That's crazy-talk."

"I know," I said, "but what can you do? Of course, I also want to escape, so if you have a way of doing that that doesn't have to do with negotiating with them, then tell me, Rainbow."

"Forget it," Rainbow said. "This whole situation is lame, way lame."

"Yes," I said. "It is pretty lame, isn't it?"

I saw that the others were talking, but I wasn't really paying attention, and no one really knew where Twilight had disappeared to, and that wasn't very nice, knowing that she was just gone like that.

I turned to Applejack, who was hanging on my other side. "Hello there, Apples."

"That's Applejack to you, Pinkie Pants." Applejack dangled around, moving her body to look at me, and maybe, trying to escape.

I laughed. "Let's give each other nicknames."

"But I like Applejack," she said.

Rainbow jumped in. "At least it's not Applefreak, Applejack."

"Yeah, at least it's not that," she said, pouting. "At least it's not that."

"Hey," I said. "I have an idea. What if I pretend to want to join them, and then they free me, and then, I can free you later, when I get the opportunity."

"You know," Rainbow said. "It's better than walking the plank."

"Okay," I said, feeling happy.

Applejack reached up and tried biting her rope, bending her body, since the rope was above her head, and tied to her body. 

"Hey," Jelly said, from down there. "Do you have any idea how hard it was to make this rope? Think of all the hours I spent making those tiny knots, and now, you're going to destroy them. Shame on you." 

"Are you scherious?" Applejack said, rope in mouth. She tried biting it, but nothing happened. Then she let go, and fell back down. "Okay, we go with your plan, Pinkie? What do you other girls say?" 

Applejack turned to Fluttershy and Rarity.

"I'm sorry, what?" Rarity said. "I was talking to Fluttershy. What do you want?"

Applejack said, "Pinkie is going to pretend to join the pirates and then later help us escape, hopefully."

"Um, I understand," Rarity said. "Fluttershy, what do you think?"

Fluttershy just hung there, not saying anything, really.

"Sure," Rarity said.

"Okay," Applejack said. "Then let's do it, I guess?"

I wasted no time. "Hey!"

"Yes," Jelly said.

"I want to join you guys and became a pirate and stuff."

"Okay," Jelly said. "Then you can do it."

"Okay," I said. I turned to Rainbow, smiling. I couldn't even help it. "This is gonna go great."

I fell down, hitting my head on the deck of the ship. Someone must've loosened my ropes. "Ouch."

"Okay," Jelly said. "Now, we were going to play cards, so if you want to be a pirate, you can be one later."

"Does that mean that the outside of the ship, that is, the part that isn't the inside of the ship, is going to be empty?" I said.

"Yes."

I smiled. "Can I join you?"

"Playing cards?"

"Yes," I screamed, feeling excited about getting to play cards with some real pirates.

"Hey," Rainbow said. "Traitor."

I looked at her. "No, I'm not a- oooh, right, yeah. I sure am a traitor."

Matey Jelly said, "Yes, okay."

"No," Rainbow said. "You're going to play cards with them rather than staying out here and saving us? You really are a traitor."

"I know," I said, winking at her.

"Pinkie!" Rainbow said. "Pinkiiie!" 

"Rainbow," I said, waving back at her.

"No," she said.

"Yes," I said. I opened the door of our ship, which was now taken over by pirates. "I'll see you guys later."

Rainbow looked like she wanted to kill me, and at the time, I really didn't understand why she was so upset, but after thinking about it, I get it, and I'm sorry, and I really am, but I was too lost in the moment. I was problems concentrating sometimes. I followed Jelly into the ship, and inside was Hairy the hare, and the manic manatee, and Captain Spider himself, playing cards.  

"Okay," I said. I sat down. They were right on the inside of the ship, where there are also a few kitchen appliances and stuff, and a few windows. There were candles there for setting the mood. The curtains were closed. It was really nice, and for a little while, I forgot that my friends were all kidnapped. Yes, I know. That sounds pretty terrible when you say it like that, but it's true. That's what happened. I picked up a card. Jelly slid by and put it back on the table.

"You're in on the next game," she said.

"What are we playing?" I said.

"Anything," she said. She sat down in a chair beside me, and I didn't really get what she was saying, but I understood I would soon.

After like a minute, it was my time to play. I was given a few cards. I looked at them. I didn't get what I was doing, but that was okay by me.

"I like playing cards a lot," I said. Captain Spider began by laying a card on the table. Then the Hairy hare did, and then, it was my turn. "Um." I picked up a card out the the pile that Captain Spider and Hairy had made. "Go fish." I smiled at them.  

Captain Spider leaned toward Hairy the hare. "Wow," he said. "She's really good."

I laughed. I was winning. Success, I thought. Then, I remembered my friends. I stood up.

"Um," I said.

Captain Spider grabbed his sword and pointed it at me. "You're going to go out there and save your friends, you charlatan!"

I sat back down. "No, I'm not. I was just stretching."

He drew back his sword. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't jump to conclusions so much. Please, oh my. No, please forgive me. This is really awkward." 

Matey Jelly looked at him. "You should be ashamed of yourself." 

"I'm so sorry," he said.

I giggled. I felt a bead of sweat running down my forehead. I giggled some more. "Heheh. Heh," I said, giggling. "That's- um, that's okay."

"You know," Captain Spider said. "I should really learn to be more trusting."

"Okay." I nodded. "Maybe you should."

"What do you mean?" Captain Spider said, pulling out his sword. "Are you hiding something?"

"Gosh golly willikers," I said, jumping out of my seat. "Please don't stab me." 

"What?" Captain Spider said. "Are you crazy? Why would I do that? Unless, you're hiding something!" He pointed the sword at me.

"Mercy," I said, curling down on the floor. "Mercy."

"Captain Spider," Jelly said. "You put that sword down right now." She reached over and grabbed it out of his hand.

"Sorry," he said. "Maybe I have anger issues."

"There's no excuse," Jelly said, "for this sort of shameful behavior, Captain Spider."

"I'm so sorry," he said, standing up and walking away from the table. "You keep playing without me, all of you. I'll just see myself into bed."

Jelly crawled after him. "Don't try to guilt-trip me. I know you're just trying to make me feel guilty."

"I'm sorry," Captain Spider said.

"Say it like you really mean it," Jelly said.

"I'm really sorry," Captain Spider said.

"Okay," she said. "Then you come back to the table, and you'd better behave." And he did.

"Okie-dokie-lokie," I said, trying to keep my best poker-face. Now, I was getting more and more scared of getting discovered, and for everything that happened, every little thing, it felt like it was getting more likely. "Um," I said. "I think it's Jelly's turn, you guys." 

Jelly sat down. "Straight flush," she said, putting down her cards.

"Wow," I said. "Isn't that kind of unlikely?"

Jelly reached over and took my cards. "I win."

"You do?" I said. "Well-played."

Captain Spider and Hairy the hare applauded, and I joined in. Then, I remembered my friends again. I had forgotten about them, for another moment, but now, I remembered.

"What now?" I said.

"We go again," Captain Spider said.

"I'm happy," I said.

"That's good," Captain Spider said.

"I don't want to be a hassle," I said, actually feeling like I needed to pee, so I really had an excuse this time.

"Why? How so?" Captain Spider said.

"Can I go to the bathroom?" I said.

Captain Spider looked at Jelly. "This ship has a bathroom? Why doesn't our ship have that? They get a bathroom?"

"I don't know," she said. "I really don't know."

"Okay," I said. "I'm just going to the bathroom. There's nothing suspicious about that."

"I agree," Captain Spider said.

I walked past Captain Spider, and down to the lower deck.

He reached out his sword toward me. "Here, take my sword!" 

I looked at the sword, and then at him. Then, I fainted.





I woke up. "Boy, that sure was a scary sword. Why am I hanging upside down?"

"You were going to betray us," Captain Spider said. "That's why you fainted."

I looked and saw Rainbow Dash beside me. "No, I wasn't. I was scared of the sword."

"You weren't?" Rainbow screamed into my face. "Traitor."

"No, wait," I said. "Yes, I was. I mean–"

"Explain it to the sharks," Captain Spider said.

I saluted at him from up the mast. "Yes, sir."

"No, Pinkie," Rainbow said. "You're not actually part of his crew."

"I'm not?" I said.

"You can't fool me," Captain Spider said. "Begone with you."

"Okay," I said. "Well, I tried. I was caught but it was for the wrong reason."

"Whatever," Rainbow said, glaring at me. "Whatever, Pinkie. Whatever."

"You want to sing a song about the sea?" I said. "You want to sing a shanty?"

"No," she said.

"Okay," I said. "I wonder when Twilight is coming back."

Then, I saw Twilight come flying, and she landed on the ship, and she lasered the ropes and hovered us down. Can you believe it? Twilight was coming to save us. Where had she been? She had been out exploring on the sea? I didn't even know.

"How are you, girls?" she said.

"I'm fine," I said, dusting myself off. "Now, let's kick some pirate booty."

Rainbow groaned, and then, she ran off toward Captain Spider and jumped him. "No," he said. Rainbow wrestled him, and then, she pulled off his wooden leg. He fell together on the floor. "You pulled off my leg."

Rainbow jumped on top of him. "Well, you make it sound so horrible when you put it like that, but you were going to feed us to the sharks, remember?"

"It's just an expression," he said. "I wasn't really going to do it."

Rainbow tossed around on top of him. "Well, what am I supposed to believe?"

Twilight, landing, just gathered all the pirates with her magical aura and tied them with their own ropes.

"There," Twilight said.

"Wow," I said. "That's great. Thank you for saving us, Twi."

"Yes," Twilight said. "Now, what's going on here? Who are these guys?"

"I don't know," I honestly said, because I honestly didn't. Who were these guys? I didn't even know. "Who?" I said, looking toward them.

"I'm Captain Spider," Captain Spider said, being tied inside a bundle with the rest of the pirates, in a big chunk, just like that. "Don't you remember my song? I had a huge intro." 

"Yeah," I said. "But like, what do you want?"

"What do I want?" Captain Spider said. "You stole my children."

A big swarm of spiders flashed in front of my eyes. "No way," I said. "I stole them? That's not really true."

"Yes, it is," Captain Spider said, "and I was going to have you lead me back to them. Now, I'll never get them back."

"They invaded my hair," I said, pointing at my scalp. "You can't be serious, Captain Spider."

"Where are they?" he said. 

"If anyone should be able to answer that, it's Fluttershy." I turned around, got behind Fluttershy, and pushed her to the front of us, so she was in front of everybody. 

"Um," Flutters said.

"C'mon," I said. "Spill the beans."

"I think they're back at my house still," she said. "I could take you there. It's no problem, if that's all you want. But they're safe. I'm not keeping them trapped there or anything like that."

"You see?" I said. "This has all just been a big misunderstanding. Don't you hate those?"

"Traitor," Jelly said, from inside her bonds.

"I'm a traitor, both to you, and to Rainbow Dash? Makes no sense," I said, laughing. 

"No," she said. "You were supposed to be a pirate, Pinkie the pirate."

"I can still be a pirate, but I don't want you to trap my friends, if that's okay, Matey Jelly."

Matey Jelly stared and frowned. "But how are we going to find his children otherwise?"

"You could just talk to us," I said, very extremely confused by it all, the whole situation from A to Z, to other letters that don't even exist, like Ø and Ö. "What's even going on here?"

"No," she said. "We can't talk. We're pirates. If we tried to talk to you, you would just get scared and run away." She sobbed. "You don't even listen."

"Jeez, I'm sorry," I said. "Tell you what? I will try to listen more."

"Tell you what?" Rainbow said. "Don't be silly, Pinkie."

"What else am I supposed to do," I said, "when everything and everyone seem so silly."

"Whatever," Rainbow said. "Listen. Everyone, listen. I have an idea."

"Okay," I said. "I'm curious about what this idea is going to be. What is your idea, Rainbow Dash?"

She just looked at me.

"I really want to know your idea."

"Shut up," she said.

"Okay."

"Listen," she said.

"I'm listening."

"You're doing that on purpose," she said, pointing at me. "Can everyone hear that?"

Applejack sighed. "Not that it matters. Just get to the point already, Rainbow."

"You know what?" Rainbow said, crossing her arms, and sitting down. "I don't even want to do it anymore."

"Don't be childish," Applejack said.

Rainbow shot back. "I'm not being childish. Pinkie is being a tease."

"Whatever," Applejack said.

"I'm sorry," I said. I tried, at least.

"I don't even care," Rainbow said. "Ugh, okay. Fine. Listen, you all, ponies, out there, and spiders, spider, or whatever, and whatever. I don't even know what I'm saying. I forgot what I was going to say."

"Don't you hate it when that happens?" I said to Applejack.

Applejack stared angrily at me. "Yes, Pinkie. I do."

I smiled and laughed. "I'm just trying to lighten the mood. Heheh."

"Yeah," Applejack said. "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"Anyway," I said.

"Can I jump into the conversation?" Twilight said, from the corner of my eyes.

I bit my lip. "Yes." I didn't say anything else. I didn't want anyone to get mad at me no more.

Twilight said, "I just want to say this. I know that this whole thing has been stressful, what with the changeling and all."

"Yes," I said. Rainbow looked at me. I got quiet.

"And," Twilight said, nodding her head toward Rainbow. "The gym situation."

"That was just confusing," Rainbow said.

"I've discovered something," Twilight then said, "and I think you would be interested to know, all of you."

I sharpened my ears for what she was about to say next, and everyone surrounded Twilight. Really, no one was ready for this.

"I think these pirates are hiding something, something important. I've been in their ship, exploring. I found it in the middle of the sea, drifting, but I never thought that they were on our ship, of all places, you know, so I'm sorry for that, and I shouldn't have abandoned you guys."

"Can't stay mad at you," I said.

"But," Rainbow said. "Are these pirates really just after the tiny spiders, or are they hiding something? Really, are they looking for some big treasure? Something seems fishy about this whole situation, Twi. What is it you were thinking about? What did you find?"

"I'm getting to it." Twilight took a few deep breaths, just sort of getting ready for what was to come next, I think, and so it was, I think. I think, anyway. She did. "I'm going to," Twilight said. "Okay, this is the deal," she then said. "I found something, something aboard the ship, the other ship. It was a map, and that map leads to something that I think is dangerous. It's a magical artifact, a trident. It can be used to gain power over the land and the seas, both. It's almost like they were looking for it strangely, but what do I know?" Twilight said, shrugging, sort of, I think. She was. She was, looking like, kind of, like she was unsure. "What do you think, Captain Spider?" she said, holding up something.  

"I'm a pirate," he said. "What do you expect? Of course, I want to steal things, and the more valuable the booty, the better."

"I know of some valuable booties," I said, nudging Rainbow.

"Stop it," Rainbow said, looking serious. "Please, stop it, Pinkie."

I grinned at her, thinking about if I was going to keep pushing, but then, I decided against it. 

"Really?" Captain Spider said. "Where is the booty?"

I burst out laughing. "No, stop it," I said. "No-hohoho."

"I don't get it," Captain Spider said.

"Just ignore her," Twilight said, shaking her head.

"Hey, Rainbow," I said. "You have the most valuable booty around. Your booty is–"

"Like, you're going way too far with this, Pinkie," Rainbow said. "This isn't even funny."

"Oh," I said. "So you're the decider of funny now. Hey, everyone. If Rainbow doesn't think it's funny, then that makes it not funny, you guys." I pointed at her, and that's kind of because I felt kind of hurt.

"Oh, shut up, Pinkie," Rainbow said. "Just shut up. Why do you have to be so obnoxious all the time? You're poorly behaved. You're like a kid. Whatever. Like, booties? Come on now. I'm Pinkie. I like booty. Hur-di-dur." Rainbow stuck out her tongue at me, and I didn't really know how to respond, and I thought a second later that maybe I deserved it.

"But I do- I don't know," I said, half-whispering, half-speaking. "I'm sorry."

"You're not even sorry," Rainbow said. "You're not serious. You're not serious enough to be sorry. Be sorry for real, for once."

"I have been sorry for real before," I said.

"Ah," Rainbow said, flicking her hoof in the air at me. "So you're admitting that you aren't being serious now?"

"I don't know," I said. "Maybe I am. I just want to stop arguing because it's making me feel bad."

"No," Rainbow said. "No, we need to sort this out, like now."

Twilight looked at us. I looked at her. "Hm," she said. "No, I really don't know." She turned to Captain Spider. "You do realize that the trident is the means by which the sea-ponies survive underwater." 

"Isn't that the pearl of watchamago?" I said. 

"No," Twilight said. "It's the pearl, gets its power from the trident, gets its power from the sea."

"Boy, I'm losing track of my magical doohickeys." I looked at Rainbow. She was still mad. "Okay," I said. "Maybe I could make it up to you."

"Are you going to say another joke now?" Rainbow said.

"No," I said. "No, not at all. No jokes."

Rainbow stared me right in the eye, and she looked very serious. "Then what did you have in mind, Pinkie Pie?" I don't think I've ever seen her so serious before. I must've really made her angry with my booty jokes.

"I'll show you."





"Step, one, you need an egg. Ready the eggs."

"Shouldn't you be the one baking, since you're supposed to make it up to me?"

I cracked an egg down into a little bowl, seeing the egg jump around in there. "No, no. I'm not sure. I think you will have more fun if you help me." Rainbow was about to leave. "No, wait. I'll do it. I'll bake everything. I can do it. Ha! I was only joking, you know. Aren't I silly? Hi!"

"Pinkie!" Rainbow said. "Just apologize."

"I'm sorry," I said, mixing the egg down, without putting anything else into the bowl. "I'll still bake for you though."

"Just chill," Rainbow said.

"I'm a chilling. I'm just chilling on a boat," I said, relaxing my body. The bowl flew up into my face. I must've touched it wrong, because I got egg in my hair. "Don't worry. We've got loads of eggs," I said, winking at Rainbow, and smiling. I just felt smiley. "This is going to be a great day."

Little did I know that weird things were going on, and those things wouldn't stop. Would they? I think they would, if they could, but they don't, and they won't. Captain Spider was making plans. He was going to steal the trident. Oh, no!

I poured some flour, in the now mostly empty bowl, not thinking about such things though, back then. "Nanana. Making please-forgive-me-cake for Rainbow Dash. Nanana!" I had a little tune going on. "Nana. Baking is great. It's better than late, evening's with cake, 'cause baking is great." I looked to see if Rainbow was still there, but no, she was gone. "Ah, well. Baking is still great. It's better than hate. I don't want to be late, baking this cake. Wo-hoo." No one was listening, but I wasn't exactly singing for the crowd. I was singing for myself, so I didn't bother. I didn't care. I did what I was going to do, and that was fine by me. That was all I cared about at the time, just baking, just relaxing, and just being myself. 

Forsooth. That wasn't what was going to happen though, because other things were brewing, and it wasn't a cake. I'll tell you that much.





In a strange, twisty turn of events, I ended up here, on this boat, with these ponies, of all ponies. My friends. I'm happy to be with them. I care about them a lot, but of course I do. Don't you? Don't who? Everyone does, because these are some of the best ponies around, especially Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash deserves cake, and that's what I was making for her. I was making all sorts of cake, up and down, and that felt good. It felt right. It simply felt like what I wanted to do, and that's what makes the world go 'round.   

"Oh, anyway, Rainbow. I want to make a cake for you. I wanted to. I wanted to, but what has happened now? I don't know. I'm just unsure." I looked around the place, inside the ship, chaotic and messy, tiny little room with baking supplies and appliances, looking for ingredients, searching with my eyes, and that's what happened, in a nutshell, which I was in, feeling like bursting, on that ship, in that day, and under those weird circumstances, of my day, you know, with everything that happened, and all.

"What a good day it is though," I said, feeling still like the day was good, and I was there with my friends, which I was really grateful for, and liked, a lot. A lot of things felt great, and that's exactly what I wanted. It's exactly what I needed. I needed a lot of things in that day. I needed to think. I needed a lot of things. I needed focus. Did I have it? Um, not very much. No, sorry. No, siree, but that's what happened at least, and I still feel happy. No, felt. I felt happy, and then what happened?

"Pinkie!" someone called from out the ship.

I ran out the door. "Eggs!"

"Pinkie," Twilight said. 

A giant jelly-fish, the size of a house, climbed on the ship.

"That's no good." I shook my head. Then, I went back inside the ship, because I didn't want to deal with that. I kept baking.

"Pinkie!" Twilight said.

I ran out the ship, and I had the cake with me. "Here," I said. The giant jelly-fish looked at me. Then, it bent down and ate the cake.

"Rawrgh," it said.

"You're welcome." I put the plate down on the ground, feeling a little woozy and all, you know, because this was unexpected. Then, the thing returned to its depths that it came from, and was gone. "Wow," I said. "Did you see that, Rainbow?"

"You know I don't like pies?" she said.

"But it was a cake," I said, protesting against her. "It was a cake."

"Yeah," Rainbow said.

"But don't worry." I booped her nose. "I'll make a new one."

"Don't you do that again," Rainbow said, clenching her hoof and waving it back and forth.  

I was like, "Okay. Please don't punch me." Then, I ran back in the ship, and that was the end of that story.





Basically, I was trying to make Rainbow Dash forgive me. That's how I was going to spend the rest of the day.

"Hey, Rainbow," I said. It wasn't really Rainbow Dash. It was just dough shaped in the shape of Rainbow Dash with rainbow frosting on it. "What say you we go out in the sea and explore?"

"No, Pinkie," the dough said. "I don't want to do that. I will punch you now."

"Oh, please don't punch me, Rainbow," I said to the dough. "I'll act nicer than nice, and I'll do a lot of good things for you." The dough fell apart. "Nooo, I'm so sorry." I tried putting it together. "Nooo!" 

"What's going on?"

"I killed Rainbow Dash."

Rainbow looked at me through a crack in the door. "Okay. Good luck with that."

She left. "Nooo."

She stuck her head back in. "Just come out. You're not good when you're alone, Pinkie."

"Nooo," I said, trying to put the dough back together. "She's dead."

Rainbow came in and pulled me away from the dough. "No, no. C'mon, Pinkie. Calm down."

"Rainbow," she said. "I'm sorry."

"Okay," she said. "Just come out. Don't be such a drama queen."

"Do you forgive me?" I said.

"No," she said. "I want you to stop being such a drama queen."

"Please forgive me."

"No, Pinkie," Rainbow said. "I might forgive you later. C'mon. I won't do it just because you told me to."

"But I'm sooo sad."

"Deal with it," she said. She pulled me out of the room, and out to the outside of the ship. "Here she is. She was making a sculpture of me using dough and talking to herself. Classic Pinkie."

"Okay," Twilight said. "We need to talk about something that's a little more important right now, forgive the interruption. Pinkie, we can deal with the thing with Rainbow Dash later."

"There's nothing to deal with," Rainbow said. "I got angry. That's all. It's not a switch. I can't just turn it on and off whenever I want to, Twilight."

"That's fine," Twilight said. "But we need to focus now. Important things are happening. Really important things are happening."

"I understand," I said. "So what's going on now, you guys?" 

Twilight nodded. "This is the deal. I discovered, as you well know by now, a treasure map on the other ship. The pirates are leaving now. I tried taking the map. I thought I did, but I think it was a fake. We need to follow them and see where they're going, for if they get ahold of the object that the map supposedly leads to, then that could be real trouble, and bad trouble at that."

"Then show us the way, Twi," I said.

"We need to follow that cliff over there," she said, pointing into a cliff that was not far off in the distance. "And we need to take a left around it. It's the only way."

"Okay," I said. I jumped up to the steering-wheel of the ship.

"Yeah," Rainbow said. "If we want to crash the ship, then giving it to Pinkie would be a good idea, girls."

"Rainbow!" Applejack said. "You're still that upset over the booty-joke. Just calm down already. You calling her a drama queen?"

"Well," Rainbow said. "Well, well. Whoop-de-freaking-dooo."

"That's fine," Applejack said, "but to be honest, none of us really has the skill necessary to do this. That's why we need to cooperate as a team, not turn against one another, and be all crazy, and stuff."

"Whoop-de-wooping-tooting-doo," Rainbow said. "Whatever. I don't even care." She walked in the door of the ship, and she disappeared, without as much as a trace.

"I'm going left," I said, steering left, seeing the world around me change, and shift. Everything turned, but really, it was the boat turned, but it felt like everything around the boat turned, and we went forward, slowly, but not all that slowly, and the seagulls squawked, and I thought to myself, what a wonderful day, despite everything, and I had almost forgotten about Rainbow Dash at that point. I kept steering the boat, onward, and onward toward adventure, just keeping it up toward the winds, against the sea's mighty current, and I could go on.

"Good," Applejack said. "Really good."

We passed the cliff by, going around, and I wondered where to go next, and what a great weather-day for that day, of all the days that we could've gone out on a cruise. We chose a good one, I think.

"Now," Twilight said. "Keep going forward. Something should happen now, soon enough."

"What?"

Magic!





The ship went through a portal. That's at least what it looked like. I don't know if it was a portal, but I think so, and we just went on, and on, and on. It was a good journey, to be sure. It was a really good journey, and I liked it a lot, and then what happened? 

I'm not even sure, but I think we got separated, and it is what it is, you know. It's like, just is that, and that's what it is. It's not something else. I just thought about Rainbow Dash, and how much I like her. Then, I walked around. I didn't even know where I was. When we got to the other side of the portal, something had thrown us off the ship. Don't you hate it when that happens?

"Dash!" I said, calling out for my friend. "Where are you, Dashie?" 

She was gone. Everyone was gone. It was purple, and black. Those were the only colors I saw. I didn't even know where to look, or what to think, but I wanted things to work out good. I really did. I just went out and looked for Rainbow Dash. I love Rainbow Dash. I want everything to turn out well in the end, and I wanted it then too. I always want everything to turn out well in the end, because all's well that ends well, and that's fine by me. That's what I care about. That's great for me, and that's what I like, and what I want, and I want life to be good, for everyone.

Anyway, to the story. I was looking for Rainbow Dash, and then, I ran into a guy, who looked like he only had one eye. He was a pirate. Was he one of the ones from before? No, I didn't recognize him at all.

"Hello," I said, happy to see a face, any face, in this dark, purple place, that was really like another dimension, or something. "Who are you?"

"I'm Raviolius, the ravioli-pone," he said, like he was bored, and he just said it like that, you know, like in that sort of weird, I-don't-really-care, sort of way.

I laughed. "I forgot what ravioli even is."

He said, "If you don't know what it is, then you don't get to know what it is."

"That's crazy," I said. "Hey, why do you only have one eye? You need an eyepatch, buddy."

"I only need ravioli," he said.

"I'm looking for my friends. Do you know where they could be? Somewhere around here, I think." 

The pony. His name was Raviolius, by the way. He was brown, and he had a bleak way about his character. He was sort of off, and sad-looking.

"Perhaps I have seen your friends," he said, doing a funny grimace.

I grimaced back at him. He pouted, and then, he looked at me, and he was looking sad. 

"Perhaps I have not seen your friends. It depends on if you have any ravioli," he said.

"I don't," I said. "I'm sorry. I could make some for you, if I only had the ingredients, and the means to do so, but I don't. I'm sorry. You're asking too much there, buddy. I'm just looking for my friends."

"Perhaps we can help each other," he said, sort of sounding sort of raspy, and husky. "Perhaps you could make some for me, if I found the ingredients."

"But I don't know what it is," I said.

"No ravioli means no passage," he said, and his body was fading. He looked like he was turning into smog.

"No, wait!" I said. "I can do it. I can do it. Wait. Let me. I promise you that I can."

"Then do it," he said.

In the middle of this weird, purple, and black dimension of weird colors, a table appeared, and an oven, and ingredients.

He closed his eyes, and did a grimace. He almost looked like he was hurting or something. "Do it now. I give you ten minutes."

"Okay," I said, walking to the ingredients. I had to put two and two together now, if I wanted to see my friends again. "Okay, so what's this?" I picked a thing up. I put it into a bowl. "Am I doing it right?" I said.

"You will make ravioli, or you won't," the guy said. That wasn't very helpful, but what can you do? 

I started making, and I hoped for the best. After ten minutes had passed, or maybe it was five minutes. It felt really much shorter than ten minutes, but whatever. It was what it was. He tasted it.

"This isn't ravioli," he said.

"No!" I said. "It totally is. Just look at it. All ravioli-like. It's the most ravioli ravioli I have ever seen in my ravioli days."

"No ravioli," he said. "No passage. I need ravioli."

"Why ravioli?" I said. "Why not something else? Have you tried anything other than ravioli?"

"No," he said. "I've only ever eaten ravioli."

"Well then," I said. "There's the problem. You need something other than ravioli."

"No," he said. "I need ravioli." He looked really, really sad now. "Never again in all my days will I see ravioli."

"What?" I said.

He was crying now, almost, like a little, it looked like, but I didn't know how to make ravioli, so what was I supposed to do? It was ridiculous. I had to find a way to solve this, somehow, and fast, and quick, really quick. Posthaaaste. Then, I got an idea. Maybe I could make something else, if the ingredients didn't disappear, and make it so good that he would have to like it, and forget about the ravioli, but what was I going to make? I didn't even know. I had to think about it for a second. Then, I got a shining, brilliant idea. I ran to the ingredients, fast, and put stuff together. Then, I gave something to him. 

"Try it."

"No," he said, turning his face away, and closing his eyes, like a child, that doesn't want to eat its spinach, but I was really going to push on him. 

I said, "C'mooon, why not?"

"No, I have waited a hundred years to eat my ravioli, and that's what's going to happen, so no, I want nothing else but ravioli."

I said to him, "If you haven't eaten in a hundred years, you must be really hungry, and how do you even know if ravioli is something for you anymore? Maybe you have changed so much that you don't like ravioli anymore. You never know. It's a hundred years we're talking about here."

"Okay," he said. He tasted it. "That's really good," he said. "What's this?" He grabbed his empty eye, and then, he pulled something out. It was a trident. "Thank you. I was so dead set on eating ravioli that I couldn't see the truth. I was blinded by my own will to do something, rather than just doing it because I knew that I wanted to do it, out of knowledge about the thing itself, but now, I understand that it wasn't a love for ravioli that made me want to eat it so much. It was stubbornness. Thank you, Pinkie." 

"Hey, I never told you my name." He disappeared, and I was left confused, and I picked up the trident. "Hm, what do you do with a trident?" I said. "I see. You catch fish. Now, I remember. That's great. I will catch loads of fish, using this great and beautiful trident. But first, I have to find my friends? Where could they be?"





"Pinkiiie. Pinkiiie."

I spit water out my mouth.

"Pinkie!"

"Rainbow Dash," I said, seeing a rainbow above me. "Am I forgiven now?"

"Pinkie," she said. "Yes, I forgive you. Holy jiminy crickets. You could've drowned. What were you doing?"

"I got the trident."

"She's speaking gibberish," Rainbow said to someone else. I was down, looking up, so I couldn't see who she was talking to.

"No," I said. I stuffed my hoof into my hair, and slowly, I got out the trident. "Look. Look." I spit some more water out my mouth, and then, I got a coughing fit. "Cough, cough," I said, all coughing, and feeling weird, and with water all over me.

"Pinkie," Rainbow said. "How is that even possible?"

"Raviolius gave it to me."

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "Did he really?"

"Yes."

"What do we do now?" Rainbow said.

"I don't know." I tried standing up, but I fell back down.

"You need to rest," Rainbow said. "Like, seriously."

"What happened?"

"You just jumped right into the water. What were you thinking?" Rainbow hugged me. "I kind of blame myself for it, to be completely honest with you, Pinkie."

"I understand," I said. "I understand. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," Rainbow said.

I looked at her, smiling. "So what do we do now?"





"It's just one of those days, isn't it?" I said. I said it 'cause it's true. "Isn't it?" I said, and that's what I said. "Isn't it?" I said.

"Isn't it?" Rainbow Dash responded. "Isn't it? I think it is."

"Yes," I said. I was happy to see her again.





To have a good day is great, and to have a day that's better than good is better, but what's better than good? What about finding the magical trident, that we had been looking for? By chance? By luck? We found it, anyhow, and that is what matters. That's all.

"Now, what do we do?" I said. "Is the adventure over?"

"No way," Rainbow said. "It's time to explore."

"Okay."





We were going out to explore, and why not? Exploring is great, and it's so worth it to explore. We were going to find loads of great things on our exploration.

"How do we get that island fruit down?" Rainbow said. "It's one of the ancient questions."

"You fly up," I said, wondering what she was going to say next.

"Yes," Rainbow said. "But then again, maybe it isn't so simple."

"Please explain," I said.

"After all, the fruit is all the way up there, and we're down here, aren't we?"

"What?" I said.

"Pinkie," she said. "You get the fruit."

"But why me?"

She smiled at me, the way only she can. "To show that you're really sorry." She tried to hold back a laugh. I got it.

I ran up the tree, and then, I got the fruit, running back down. "There you go."

"How do you do that?" Rainbow said. "You have magical powers."

"No," I said. "I just like fruit, is all."

"Would any other earth pony be able to run up a tree that is at a ninety degree angle?"

"I don't know," I said. "Maybe not. That makes me unique then."

"I guess so," Rainbow said. "I guess so."





"Whatever the case may be, I still care. I know I do, in fact."

I realized a bunch of things that day?

"Yes!"

No, wait. I didn't say that out loud.

Yes, no, that's fine. I know. I'm getting side-tracked, but still, it was the greatest adventure ever.

I'm really not going to tell you why. I don't remember most of it. I wasn't there. I was unconscious.

Yeah, so, it's still true, but so be it, then. I was unconscious for hours. And that's when a bunch of exciting things happened for my friends. I love my friends. Who doesn't live their friends though? Everyone does, so there's nothing special about me. I'm not saying that at all. 





Having friends is great. I like friends a lot, like a lot.

I also like pies, but Rainbow doesn't, and that's fine. Not everyone does. Pie wars are some of the best wars around. Butterflies are pretty, and butterflies, are very usually, I think at least, smaller than pies.

Are butterflies always smaller than pies? Is that true?





"I love boating, and I like boats. What?"





Bzz. Bzz. Bzz. Ho-hoho. Bzz. "I'm a bee."

"Who's a bee?"

"Everyone's a bee."

I buzzed, feeling happy, and then, I woke up.





Rainbow said, "Pinkie, you fell down a tree."

"No, I di-in't." 

"I'm so sorry for making you go up that tree."

"Okay," I said, standing up. "So did the thing with the trident really happen, or what? What happened and what didn't happen?"

"What trident?"

"Oh, no," I said. "That part was also a dream."

"Kidding," Rainbow said. "The trident is on the ship. I still don't know how you did that."

"Phew," I said.





"Rounding up seashells is what I do, when I'm bored, and tired. Yeah-yeah." I sang, picking up a seashell.

"Hey," Rainbow said. "What do you remember right now?"

"I remember something about a tree, with papayas in it, or was it another tropical fruit?"

"Pinkie," Rainbow said. "You do know you've had holes in your memory ever since the thing happened, when I told you to go up the tree?"

"At least, I'm still happy. The memory things hasn't affected that, so it's all good."

"I just want you to be all right," Rainbow said. "Please."

"Okay," I said, smiling at her. "Okay then."





And so it was, and when my memory had come back, we were going home. "Wow," I said. "This sure was a good day."

"Day?"

"Week? Month?"

"Pinkie," Twilight said. "How much do you remember?"

"Like, a day," I said.

"We've been on the sea for three weeks," Twilight said. "We've honestly had a lot of fun with you, even though you don't remember any of it."

"It was the best adventure ever," Rainbow said. "And I've really gotten closer to you, Pinkie, since you got that brain damage."

"Rainbooow," Applejack said, sinking her face into the ground out of passive shame, coming off Rainbow.

"Whopa-doopa-doo," Rainbow said, shrugging.

"You're never going to pull off that catchphrase," Applejack said. "You just won't. The desert monkeys were wrong about you."

"The desert monkeys understand me," Rainbow said.

"What's the dessert monkey?" I said, feeling happy to be around my friends.

"It's a long story," Rainbow said. "I'll tell it to you one day, Pinkie. One day."





Stay tuned for the sequel to the best adventure ever, the best adventure ever – part 2, which will come out after the end of the main story. The pointillistic story of The Small of Life was given to you by Ponyville Friendship Publications, copyrighted by Twilight, and the evil changeling, who will get a share of the profits. No jellyfishes were harmed in the writing of this story, except for one, but she has forgiven the ones that did it, so it's all good.     

By the way, yesterday, I ate a great sandwich. It was the best sandwich. I love sandwiches. 

I also love cupcakes, and tricks. 





The book, whose publishing, publishment, who was published I mean, one year ago now, has undergone the following changes. It has had this part added to it. It also has a better cover, with prettier pictures. Yes, you heard me. Prettier pictures. You just have to find them, because they were all scattered on its way to the book store.





"Hey," Rainbow said. "What are you doing, Pinkie?"

"I'm simply telling my story, the way it really happened. What's the problem?"

"What the heck? This is totally backward. That's not how you write that?"

"Write what?"





I'm simply retelling the story the way it happened. That's all I'm doing.

"But you're doing it wrong. Give me the book. In this book, it says that Twilight spoke to you. She didn't."

"Twilight," I said, "said what?"

Rainbow Dash looked around. "Who are you talking to?"





She said, "I don't know what do about this, since you don't even remember much of what happened. You were unconscious, so maybe, Rainbow Dash should continue telling the story." And this happened in the map-room of Twilight's castle, as you were telling the story, Pinkie. You were telling the story, back then.





"Now, I'm talking to you," I said.

"Yes, that is true," Rainbow said. "It is true that you are talking to me right now, and that the last part was in the past."

"Yes," I said.

"What does that have to do with anything?"





"What will happen next?" Twilight said. "Whose turn is it?"





"That never happened," Rainbow said, now in the future. 





I laughed. "You're funny."

"No, that seriously never happened."





Twilight said, "You don't remember much of what happened."





"No, she didn't!" Rainbow said.

Okay, so the explanation, Twilight's solution, and my solution, Pinkie's solution, that is, don't explain a lot of what happened like why everyone has different memories, and that's actually confusing.

"Also," Rainbow said. "Ponyville Friendship Publications is not a real publishing company, Pinkie!"

"Whoops," I said, shrugging.

"Whatever, Pinkie."

"Whoops."

"There are no prettier pictures. There was only ever the picture of the rainbow."

"Whoops."

"Why are we publishing this book with what happened the last time, when we published the friendship book."

"I don't know," I said. "I'm Pinkie. I don't know."

"Shut up, Pinkie," Rainbow said, though somewhat playfully.

"The book," I said.

"What about it?"

"What happened next?"





Pinkie and Twilight and others were in Twilight's castle's map room, again! They were there again, and Pinkie was telling the story. This is what it says in the book, just to be clear, what I'm writing right now.

Pinkie said, "I will keep telling the story right now." And she did.





She stood there beside Twilight, telling the story, and she was really going at it, telling this story.





"Did you just switch to the third person?" Twilight said.

"Yes," I said.





Back in the future. "I swear that never happened, Pinkie."

"Yeah," I said, "but I need to make it clear to the reader what's going on. Who knows what will happen if I don't? You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't, Rainbow Dash, dashing." 

"Yeah, but that's stupid," Rainbow said. "You don't have to change what happened."

"Then what really happened?" I said, ready to write more.

"Well, this is what happened," Rainbow said, about to tell me what happened.





We were going about our business inside that room, and nothing was going like you said it. I was just trying to listen, and Twilight was off who knows where, just maybe interrogating the changeling guy or whatever, but look, if you want to tell the story, that's fine. Just don't change anything, Pinkie, when you're writing it down.





"I'm sorry," I said.

"That's okay," Rainbow said.

Where is the rest of the story then?





Spike burped. 

"No," I said. "It got on the page. No. That's bad. That's really bad." 

A letter came out his mouth, and the page burned up, so ruining the last of the story that we had written down, and making it so that I had to rewrite it.





"Hey," Rainbow said. "Have you been writing down the entire conversation we've been having about your writing, Pinkie?" This is the future, just to be super, ultra clear.

"Yes," I said.





This is the past. "Spike. We will have to rewrite it."

Spike said, "Uh-oh."





This is even farther into the past. 

I lay on the ship, just being lazy, and we were going home. We had learned a bunch of great stuff. I had learned that I have my limits, and that I shouldn't insult Rainbow Dash, or whatever I did to her. I couldn't even remember myself, but I had been knocked out flush, so can you blame me? 

What a frantic life, and the life is great, even though it is that.





Still, I didn't want to forget anything. I wanted it all to be good. I did. I did want it to be good. I did too. Twilight said that I had gotten memory loss, from hitting my head, but stuff happens. 

Yeah, I really did feel fine. There's no second part where I feel bad about what happened. I know how to deal with this stuff.





"Twi, that's a pretty name. Twi, that's a pretty name, the prettiest name," I said, complimenting Twilight.

"Thank you," Twilight said. "Not that I was the one who chose it, but thank you."

"Happy. You're welcome. Charmed." I bowed down to her.

"Yes," she said. "Now, let's go home."

"Before that," I said. "Let's play a game."





If it comes as a surprise that I like games, then I don't know what you're surprised about. We had spent weeks out at sea, and yeah, seriously, I couldn't remember most of it, but it was all good, anyway. It felt great. It felt good, and gooder, and great, and better than great. It felt the greatest. Now, we were going to play one good game for the ages.

"On this ship," I said, speaking in front of everyone. "On this here ship, I have built an obstacle course, and it's the best obstacle course. The best."

Rainbow leaned into Twilight. "You sure she's recovered?"

"Knock it off," she said. "She's just being Pinkie."

"I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Jeez," Rainbow said. "Get a grip. Relax, guys."

"I'm doing this course in honor of the great, beautiful Rainbow Dash," I said. "Beautiful!"

"Yeah, thanks," Rainbow said, blushing.

"And," I said. "It's time. The first part is the part with the hula-hoops. You have to brave the hula-hoops, and defeat them, and jump inside them, not outside, and if you land outside, those are minus points. The second part is the part with the rope-swing jumps. You have to swing in the rope, up on the mast, and land on the other side. The crow's nest has all the ropes, you guys. No flying, because that's minus points. The third part is the part with the flesh-eating sharks. You have to walk the plank, and then, do a really good trick jump thing into the water, and the one with the best jump of all the jumps win. Begin." I shot my party cannon.  

"What was that last part?" Rainbow said. Applejack took off. "Oh, forget it."





Essentially, adventure-time is a time when adventure happens, and if that's how you define these words, then an adventure definitely was a-brewing. Rainbow Dash ran across the hoops, swung the ropes, and dived into the water. I couldn't figure out who won the competition. It's not as if I was keeping tabs, but I think that since Rainbow Dash and Applejack were the only ones that made it to the end of the course, Twilight not participating, Rarity giving up after the hoops, Fluttershy being too Fluttershy to climb up into the crow's nest, and me being the judge, they were equally winners. Rainbow Dash didn't like that very much though, and neither did Applejack, bless their hearts.    

"We can't both be winners, darn you," Applejack said, swinging her hoof up and down.

"Aren't you happy just that we're together?" I said, making a little plea.

Rainbow Dash and Applejack looked at each other. "No!"

"Okay, then let's try again. I wasn't keeping tabs that first time. I wasn't making- looking sure that the time was right." I smiled against my own will, but those two certainly weren't amused.

"Let's go it again," Applejack said. "One more time. And this time, you're keeping tabs, Pinkie."

"Fine," I said.





I picked up a microphone I had found. "Get readyyy. Three, two." Rainbow took off. "One. Go!"

"Frick," Applejack said, and ran after. 

Rainbow danced across the hoops, one by one, going past them. She was like a swan, but even more beautiful than that. Rainbow jumped, and danced. Applejack was more angry-looking. She sprinted across them. Well, she got bonus points for trying at least. Applejack reached the ladder to the crow's nest. Rainbow Dash was already halfway up. She began climbing, and caught up to Rainbow. Rainbow kicked at her, and Applejack grabbed her tail, pulling her down. Rainbow fell and then, caught flight. 

"Hey!" Applejack said. "That's against the rules."

"Do you want me to die?" Rainbow said. Then Rainbow flew up, and flew past her.

"No, I don't. At least I don't think. Get over here." Applejack jumped up to the rope. Just as Rainbow was about to swing down from the crow's nest, Applejack caught the rope in her mouth, trying to yank at it, but she was pulled down along with Rainbow Dash. They both soared through the air.

"Aaah," they screamed, and then Rainbow landed, and Applejack landed on her back, standing on her hindlegs.

"Don't steal my thunder," Rainbow said, kicking her off, and running toward the plank.

Applejack looked around, and she saw a, well, a saw, and she grabbed it, and just as Rainbow was walking out, preparing to jump, she sawed the plank, and it fell right off, Rainbow along with it, into the water, splash! Applejack just jumped off the edge of the ship. I threw down a rope-ladder to both of them, that I had found on the floor before the competition. Applejack climbed up, but Rainbow flew past her, and kicked the rope-ladder, making it fall down into the water. 

"Nooo," Applejack yelled, as she fell down into the water.

Rainbow pumped her hoof. "I won, again. Easy!"

"Wow," I said. "You come first, but you also flew, so that's one minus point."

"One minus point?" Rainbow said, with horror in her face.

"Yes, that makes you, um, even, I think," I said, quickly trying to work it out in my head.

"How does that make us even? I totally beat her. She sawed off the plank. She kicked me."

"I think it should clearly be at least one minus point for sawing off the plank," I said, "but kicking wasn't against the rules."

"What? That's dumb. That's dumb-dumb," Rainbow said, frowning and looking around angrily. "Whaaat?"

"Hey." I looked past her. "Where's Applejack by the way?"

"She's probably getting eaten by sharks. Serves her right," Rainbow said. A rope flew around Rainbow's body. She sighed. She flew off in the other direction, and into the water. 

"This got dirty quiiick," I said, feeling surprised. "I guess the one that got the least amount of minus points is the winner. Though I should start Rainbow off with one plus point, since she finished first, I think at least."

"O-hoy," Twilight said, coming out the ship. "What's going on out here?"

"Rainbow Dash, and Applejack, are, how should we say, fighting to the death in the water," I said, pointing toward the water. Twilight walked over there.

"And you–"

"But I didn't–"

"And–"

They argued in the water, pulling each other's hair. Twilight picked them up. "I wish I could say I was surprised, but as a matter of fact, I'm not," Twilight said, looking uncomfortable.

"She cheated," they both said.

"Did they?" Twilight said, looking at me.

"No," I said. "No, I mean yes. They both cheated like a dozen times each. I will need a math genius to figure out how many minus points."

"Okay," Twilight said.





"What's going on?" Twilight said. "What's happening out on the seas? The wild wild seas?"

"Nothing much," I said. "Do you have the math done yet?"

"One minus for kicking Applejack. One minus for flying. One minus for pulling Applejack's tail. One minus for pulling Rainbow's tail. That's for Applejack. One minus for yanking the rope in stage two of the competition. Also Applejack. Applejack gets a minus point for sawing the board in stage three. Rainbow gets a minus point for flying again, and kicking the rope-ladder down. Applejack gets one extra minus point for pulling Rainbow back into the water. That's four each. Also, Rainbow Dash, flew twice, in two stages of the competition. Do we want to give her an extra minus point for that? It depends on how you count it?"  

"Thank you, Twi," I said. "Your services are no longer needed."

"You said they both yanked the other's tail one time each?" Twilight said, while being pushed away back into the ship by me.

"I believe so. It all sort of blends together. Your services are no longer needed." Twilight disappeared into the ship, and I pushed out Applejack and Rainbow, one by one. 

"Who won? Who won?" Rainbow said.

"It's true that I cheated," Applejack said, "but in my defense, she started it." She pointed at Rainbow Dash. "Didn't you, jerk?" 

"Well, I'd never," Rainbow said, grinning.

"I didn't exactly know what to make of it," I said, "but now, Twilight said that it's minus four each, so I guess I have to believe her."

"That makes me the winner," Rainbow said. "Since you said I would get one plus point."

"No, wait," I said. "You started before I had said, go. I totally forgot. That makes you even."

"You can't be serious?" Applejack said. "You can't seriously mean that, can you?"

"I dunno," I said, shrugging.

"We have to do it again," Applejack said.





Applejack, who was bandaged, stood beside Rainbow Dash, who was in a wheelchair.

"Who won?" Rainbow said.

"I don't know," I said. "What? You think I care about who wins? I want us all to make up and be friends."

"Huh? What's that?" Applejack said, trying to hear through the bandage that was wrapped around her head.

"I swear," Rainbow said, "I will take this wheelchair and turn it around, and go up crow's nest, if it kills me, until I know who won this stupid game we're playing."

"Okay," I said. "That's fine by me."

Rainbow rolled over the hula-hoops, and then over to the crow's nest, where she nudged and budged against the ladder, trying to pull herself up, along with the wheelchair.

"I'm just happy," I said.

Applejack looked at her, Rainbow Dash. She stumbled over to the ladder, and tried to push Rainbow to the side.

Twilight stood beside me. "You know this is never going to end until you declare a winner, right?"

"I don't know," I said.

"I'll be the judge this time," Twilight said. "Are you okay with that?" 

"Yes," I said, patting Twilight on the nose. "I love your nose, by the way."





Since Rainbow was unable to finish the game, since she was in a wheelchair, Applejack won, which I was okay with, but Rainbow wasn't okay with it. She thought it was unfair, since Applejack didn't have to use a wheelchair. I thought that it wasn't over yet, and those two would settle the score later, but not now. Now, it was time to go home, and for them both to heal.

Twilight said that they had been on an adventure on an island, but I was unconscious for much of it, not that it had anything to do with the rest with what happened to the changeling, and everything. It didn't matter much who told the story, but we also all decided that we would write down what happened in the part of the adventure where I was unconscious later.

Rainbow Dash forgave me, at least I think so. Rarity and Fluttershy was doing something else on the journey. We'll get to them later, give them some love! Applejack was being Applejack, always talking about responsibility and stuff. Twilight was still confused about what had happened with the changeling-thing, and we were all just hanging out and having a great day.

It was good to be alive. But we didn't realize what would happen next. No one did, and the adventure still isn't over, or what to call it. It's a little bit of everything. It's what I enjoy most about life, just a little bit unpredictable.

Interlude over!





"Okay," Twilight said, as Spike got done writing. "Interlude over, indeed, Pinkie. Wow."

"It'll be my turn next to explain what happened at the island," Rainbow said.

"Yes," Twilight said. "You all feeling good right now?"

"Yes," I said.

"I think so," Fluttershy said, "but why- I mean, what did we write it down for? It doesn't seem to have anything to do with the other things that happened."

"You can never be sure," Twilight said. "You can never be sure."

"And that's the end of that story!" I said.

Rainbow laughed. "Like, you say things that sound as if they mean something, Pinkie, but probably don't."

"Yeah," I said. "It's a beautiful day. Does anyone feel like going out and continuing the events of this story someplace else?"

"What the heck!" Rainbow said. "That's exactly what I mean. Does anyone else hear it? Like, it's driving me nuts."

All's well that ends well.