A Very Minty Christmas Party
Despite the mountains of snow beside the roads and driveways, it was beautiful day. It was partly cloudy, with temperatures hovering just under 50 degrees Fahrenheit.
I pulled into Minty’s driveway, alongside Razzaroo’s ancient Mustang. Razz’s choice of transportation was a white early ‘80s Mustang, with a red vinyl roof and matching interior. It was a car only a little pony could love. She’d decorated it with a sticker of her cutie mark, directly adjacent to the car’s license plate.
The snow around the car indicated it had been parked here during the storm a few days ago. It had been scraped off enough to recognize the vehicle though, and considering we’d had thirty inches of snow dumped on us in the past week, it was safe to say the poor car had probably been completely buried at one point.
Speaking of things that had been buried, the lights on Minty's roof weren’t going to be blinking any time soon, and unless she’d thought to bring them inside before snow started falling, her inflatable yard decorations had also been buried under two and a half feet of snow. Her neighbors are probably very happy about that.
The fact that I was able to pull into the driveway at all was a good sign – unlike when she’d surprised me with a party on my birthday, I was one of the first guests to show up. I didn’t know where people were going to park this time around – there was no grass visible. I guess they’d have to park at the mall and walk half a mile.
I rang the doorbell and Minty opened the door. I’d barely taken a step inside when she reared up and kissed me. I blinked and she giggled and pointed above my head. Mistletoe. It was directly above the doorway. “There’s no way to avoid it.”
“That’s the idea!”
“There’s one way to avoid it.” Razzaroo waved from the couch. “Be here when she’s putting it up.”
“Let me guess, your car wouldn’t start after my birthday party?”
She stuck her tongue out at me. “I live three counties away. Rather than drive back and forth twice in one week, I just decided to take a vacation for a week. That way I could help Mints with the decorations and the baking.”
I breathed a sigh of relief at that. Minty’s cooking was slightly better than mine, but that wasn’t saying much. Razzaroo, on the other hand, was a party planner by trade. She was adept at making most treats, and she knew exactly who to call for the ones she didn’t.
Minty nuzzled me. “I don’t suppose I could ask you to help hang up some decorations for me? You’re taller than us, and neither of us has wings or magic. I was gonna ask you to stay and help after your birthday party, but it was a work night so I didn’t think you’d want to stick around.”
“I wouldn’t have minded.” I grabbed the decorations and put them on the windows where she directed me to.
I’d barely started hanging them up in the picture window when I saw Surprise land in the driveway. Smart! She flew over, so she won’t have to worry about finding a place to park. I watched her enter and sure enough, Minty kissed the snow white pegasus the second she trotted inside.
“Ooooh, that’s sneaky, surprising me like that! I like your style!” Surprise nuzzled the host.
The oven timer dinged and Razzaroo pulled a sheet of Christmas cookies out. I couldn’t see them from where I was hanging up decorations, but I could smell them just fine. The sooner I finish, the sooner I can eat one. Any task can be done quickly with the right motivation.
More pegasi landed in the driveway and I recognized two of them immediately from the car wash: Flitter and Bifröst. The third was a mystery to me – she was a slightly different shade of lavender than Flitter, with frosty white and blue hair and a shooting star cutie mark.
Minty greeted them each with a kiss, and was excited to see the third member of their party. “Cloudchaser! You made it!”
I straightened up and immediately clunked my head on the ceiling. I rubbed my head and climbed down the ladder. I can finally meet Flitter’s twin sister! My curiosity had already been sated – I’d seen her when she landed, and they weren’t identical twins. So the question as to whether pony twins could have the same cutie mark remained unanswered.
A loud popping sound drew our attention to the living room, and Kimono stood there with Petunia Paleo, Coconut Cream, and the latter’s parents, Whipped Cream and Butter Cream. The unicorn looked to the front door and shook her head.
“Teleporting is cheating, Kimono, and you know it!” Minty rushed up to her friends and nuzzled them.
“You’ve been pulling that stunt for as long as I can remember.”
The fillies, meanwhile, galloped straight for me and leapt toward my legs. I closed my eyes and time seemed to slow down as I braced for impact. They might only be fillies, but they were earth pony fillies and were built solidly. It was going to hurt when they connected. Eventually, I opened my eyes to find them pouncing on me in slow motion. A magical glow surrounded the pair, and a quick look at Kimono confirmed she was slowing them down.
“Thanks!”
“They’re as predictable as Minty. No matter how many times we tell them not to jump on people, they never listen.”
I nodded at the wise unicorn’s words and pulled one of Minty’s kitchen chairs into the living room. I positioned it in front of the two leaping fillies and took a seat. Kimono levitated them onto my lap and I avoided broken legs and/or ribs. Balancing one filly on each of my legs, I patted their heads.
Minty trotted over and put a Santa hat on my head and hoofed me a fake beard. “If they’re gonna sit on your lap, they may as well tell you everything they want for Christmas.”
I put the beard on and did my best Santa Claus impression. “Ho ho ho, little fillies. What can Santa bring you for Christmas this year?”
“I want all the Jurassic Park toys and movies, and all the Definitely Dinosaurs!”
“I want an Easy-Bake Oven! And maybe an ear scratch?”
I couldn’t help the fillies out with their toy requests, but I could reach down and scritch their ears. Cee-Cee thumped her left rear leg in appreciation.
Toola Roola tugged at my pant leg, but I had no room for her to jump up and join her friends. I hadn’t even seen her arrive, but I looked around and sure enough, her parents were talking with the Creams. Petunia stood up and then climbed up my stomach and chest, eventually draping her forelegs across my shoulder, her hind legs still firmly planted on my leg. That made enough room for Toola to hop up with a thump and I winced from the impact.
I started scratching Toola behind the ears, and Petunia started nuzzling me and trying to rub me behind the ears. It was adorable, though completely ineffective since human ears were radically different than equine ears.
“Wrapped around their hooves.”
I looked at Whipped Cream and smiled. “You’re just jealous my hands are occupied.”
“Come on, girls, let’s mingle.”
“But I didn’t even get to tell Santa what I want for Christmas!”
“A new easel, brushes, paint, some chalk, a little charcoal, and a few dozen canvases.”
Toola gasped. “How did you know?”
“Magic. Comes with the beard.” I motioned to the fake white hair I was wearing.
“Oh! An enchantment!” Toola hopped off my lap and I didn’t bother correcting her. Nopony wants to be told they’re predictable, after all.
I massaged my legs to get the blood circulating again, and eventually stood up once my legs were no longer asleep. The downside to having ponies sit in your lap. It’s all fun and games until you realize you can’t feel your legs anymore. I was no longer the only human at the party, and I made my way over to introduce myself to an older couple. It turned out they were Minty’s neighbors and confirmed that the mare’s yard decorations had indeed been an eyesore. No one had wanted to complain though, because no one had wanted to be accused of being Scrooge. They were a little overwhelmed by all the ponies, so they didn’t stick around long.
Soon it was time for dinner, and Minty and Razzaroo had prepared a traditional Equestrian Hearth’s Warming feast. There were only a few things I could eat, mostly fruits and vegetables. Hay, flowers, and assorted grasses, however, I left for the ponies, who were more than happy to gobble it up. That just means more room for dessert.
Some of Minty’s other neighbors stopped by throughout the evening, including a couple with two young girls who thoroughly enjoyed playing with the fillies. I was thankful for that, as it wore them all out. An hour later there was a pile of foals and children napping on the couch.
They woke up when it was time for games, and I watched them play ‘pin the tail on the princess’ while I waited for a turn to play Uno. I was up against Minty, Razz, Surprise, and the Creams. Minty, amazingly, dominated the game. Best poker face ever. Just a blank ‘deer in the headlights’ look that worked perfectly every single time.
When she was finished wiping the floor with us at cards, Minty brought out the desserts, and there was a little bit of everything. From traditional Equestrian desserts, to Earth’s finest treats, I piled a plate with cheesecake, cookies, and even grabbed a bowl of ice cream: mint chocolate chip, of course. I wouldn’t expect the host to have it any other way.
The crowd thinned a bit after dessert, as those with kids decided it was time to get them home for the evening. Toola, Cee-Cee, and Petunia all hugged me on their way out the door, and Kimono teleported the Creams and Petunia back to wherever they were staying.
I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to be kissed by Surprise, her breath heavy with eggnog. I blinked. “What was that for?”
She pointed, and I followed her gaze to mistletoe that had been taped to the ceiling above me. She flew up and plucked it off the ceiling, then proceeded to tape it up over another unsuspecting victim and the scene repeated itself.
Razzaroo was looking out the window and I sat down next to her. “Whatcha up to?”
“Just keeping an eye out for the cops. Sometimes Minty’s Hearth’s Warming parties get a little out of hoof, and there’s a precedent of them being broken up by the Royal Guards.”
I looked around, and with the exception of Surprise, couldn’t see anypony acting even remotely rambunctious. “This is considered a wild party in Equestria? The music’s a little loud, I suppose.” It was Christmas music, so I’d tuned it out and it had faded to background noise until I focused on it, but even at the volume it was being played at I didn’t think it would be enough to warrant a visit from the police.
Razz giggled. “Wysteria couldn’t make it due to the weather, so I guess we don’t have to worry about Heathspike setting anything on fire this year.”
“Heathspike?”
“He’s a dragon. And he’s not allowed to have eggnog anymore. Ever.”
I nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.” A teetotaler, I avoided the eggnog regardless, and helped myself to a can of soda instead. Minty had stocked the party with my favorite, RC, and I couldn’t help but think I was rubbing off on her and some of the other ponies I knew well. They valued my input more than advertisers’, and I hadn’t heard a single complaint all night about the lack of Coke or Pepsi being available.
All good things must come to an end, however, and I let Minty know it was time I headed home. She walked me to the door, puckered her lips, and looked up. Her eyes opened wide in shock when she realized what wasn’t hanging over the doorway any longer.
“Surprise has it.”
“Hey! Give me that!” I chuckled as I watched Minty chase Surprise around the living room. Surprise stayed out of reach, zipping ahead of the ground-bound mare and flitting through the house as carefree as she always was.
I let myself out and got into my car. Best Hearth’s Warming party I’ve ever been to, that’s for sure.