> Ceteris Paribus
>  by FanOfMostEverything
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> The Best Gifts are Unexpected
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Over the last few moons, Starlight Glimmer had found that most friendship lessons were just recognizing her past mistakes for what they were. She knew Princess Twilight wasn’t showing her her own errors and flaws out of spite. Really, the only things that seemed capable of angering the princess were inadvisably applied magic, threatening her friends, and Trixie. But Starlight still winced at her own past foolishness when she registered it, whether that foolishness was years or minutes old.

Tonight, it was the latter. The Hearth’s Warming party really was lovely once she'd let herself enjoy it rather than looking down her muzzle at a frivolous excuse for presents and candy. Yes, plenty of both abounded, but they were part of the celebration, not the purpose in and of themselves. It was all part of how ponies were, well, people. Not things for Starlight to optimize according to her own criteria.

Which was kind of the problem.

Starlight hadn’t meant to gravitate to the edges of the castle’s entry hall. It just gradually happened after the reprise of "Hearth's Warming Eve is Here Once Again." Several minutes after the last echoes of the carol faded, she found herself with her tail to a wall, an awkward smile straining her cheeks as she ponywatched.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming, Starlight.”

“Gah!” She leapt at the sudden sound, but mentally patted herself on the back for not atomizing the source once she recognized it. “Fluttershy!” Starlight took a moment to get her breathing under control. “Sorry, I didn’t notice you.”

“It’s fine. I wasn’t trying to be noticed. Here.” Fluttershy held out a wing, a mug of warm cider in her pinions. “It helps if you look like you’re too busy with your drink to talk to anypony.”

“Um, thanks?” Starlight took the mug in her magic and took a longer drink than she meant to. She figured she’d get used to the local produce in time, but for now, it was still astonishingly good. Though going by how Fluttershy downed hers, maybe the bloom would never fall off that particular rose. “Not sure if you should be teaching the royal friendship student how to avoid social interaction.”

Fluttershy shrugged her wings. “Everypony moves at their own pace. I’ve been in your horseshoes more than a few times, and that was just with smaller Pinkie parties. I thought you’d appreciate a familiar face to talk to.”

“Thanks." Starlight looked back at the crowd. It was so much easier to think of them as variables to solve in some grand social equation. As people... "I know I should get out more, but all those ponies…”

“Unfamiliar, risky, possibly judging you,” Fluttershy said with a familiar weariness.

“Exactly. I know most of them don’t know what I did, and the ones who do have forgiven me, but…” Starlight sighed, her head dipping down. “It’s my own guilt more than anything.”

Fluttershy nodded. “It’s good that you recognize that. It took me a terribly long time to realize it was my own anxiety and nothing they really thought." After a moment, her ears folded back and she took a more nervous look at the crowd. "Usually. I hope.”

Starlight felt the knot in her chest loosen a bit. At least it wasn't just her. She held up her mug for a toast. “Baby steps?”

“Baby steps.” It was more of a clunk than a clink, but it left both mares smiling. “So, what convinced you to come down in the first place?" Fluttershy's eyes widened for a moment. "Not that we’re not happy to have you, of course.”

“I know. Twilight read me this story that…" Starlight trailed off into a thoughtful frown. "You know, in hindsight, it’s almost suspiciously appropriate for my circumstances, given the powerful unicorn who wants to rewrite history and alter equine society to fit her misguided view of the world.”

“'A Hearth’s Warming Tale'?”

Starlight quietly balled up all of her suspicions and set them on fire. Mentally, not literally. Not after last time. “Yes. That." After a moment, her curiosity prodded her with a few issues that had escaped the purge. "Are there really characters with names like ‘Snowdash’ and ‘Flutterholly’ in it? Those seemed a bit on-the-muzzle too.”

Fluttershy nodded. “Oh yes. My great-aunt Flutterholly was named after the character." She gave a slight frown. "You’ve really never heard the story before?”

“My dad was kind of a history nut," said Starlight. "Anything written in the last century or two wasn’t worth his time. And by the time I was old enough to pick out my own reading material, well, Sunburst had left. I wasn’t exactly in the mood for feel-good seasonal fables or warnings about hubris.” An epiphany struck her, making her snort before she could stop herself. "Haven’t thought about Dad in quite some time. I’m almost glad I’m celebrating Hearth’s Warming far from home.”

The words played back in Starlight's mind just after they escaped from her lips. She reminded herself that time travel didn't solve anything, no matter how much she might want it to. "I, I mean—"

Yet Fluttershy just smiled. “I completely understand.”

“You? Seriously?" Starlight winced. "I mean, no offense, but—”

Fluttershy spread a wing, putting a pinion against Starlight's lips. "It's Hearth's Warming. Problems with family are almost as traditional as mulled cider."

"Really? Even for you?"

That got Fluttershy to look back out at the celebrating crowd. Her gaze lingered on the rest of Twilight's friends, scattered about the hall. "Between the seven of us, either we can't be with our families tonight, or we don't want to be."

"Well..." Moons of Twilight's lessons made Starlight pounce on the friendship word problem. "I guess Twilight would want to be there for Flurry Heart's first Hearth's Warming. And even I know Applejack has as much of her family with her as she can. But Rarity's parents are right there."

Fluttershy nodded, smiling as Rarity locked eyes with her, nodded at her father's sweater, and gagged. "For the first Hearth's Warming in three years. She only just forgave them for missing Sweetie Belle's cuteceañera."

Starlight felt her jaw drop. The only sound she could make as Fluttershy looked back at her was a faint croak in the back of her throat.

"You don't spend as many spa sessions with her as I do without picking up some gossip. And I think it'd help you to see how we have our flaws as well.” Fluttershy pointed towards a stallion with an obvious family resemblance to Rainbow Dash knocking back cider with her. “That’s not even Rainbow’s dad. It’s her uncle.”

That shock got Starlight's mind back in order. “Wait, really? What’s the story there?”

Fluttershy glanced away. “That’s... a bit more personal."

Starlight considered what the difference might be between that and Rarity's drama. "Nopony shouted the details in the street?"

"In so many words."

"I see." So, running down the mental checklist... "Well, what about you?"

"In my case…" Fluttershy sighed. "Well, let’s just say it’s my brother. We have an understanding, you see. I send cards up to Cloudsdale, and he knows that I have a bear hibernating on my couch until spring.”

Starlight blinked. “That’s, uh... that's quite the understanding.”

“Zephyr’s quite the pony." For a moment, Fluttershy bore a look of half-lidded exasperation that Starlight had never seen on her before. It vanished after a deep breath, not so much replaced by a more typical mild grin as buried under it. "But let’s talk about something happier.” Fluttershy pulled a thin, wrapped rectangle out from under the wing facing away from Starlight. “Happy Hearth’s Warming.”

“Oh!" Shame welled up as Starlight took the present in her magic. "I, I’m sorry. I never thought to get you anything. Twilight’s been keeping me on my hooftips, and—”

Fluttershy shook her head. “Don't worry about it. None of us are expecting anything back from you. We know you’re still collecting yourself.”

Starlight looked back at the party. “The others have gifts planned too?”

That prompted a soft giggle. “You didn’t hear it from me, but Pinkie may have slipped more party mines into your bedroom.”

“Yikes. Consider me warned. But as for this…” A few rearranged force vectors took care of the wrapping paper, but they couldn't decipher what lay beneath. “A… piece of cardboard?”

“That’s just the backing. Turn it around.”

Starlight did so, revealing a mouth-written coupon. “‘Good for one hour of judgement-free discussion of… Equalism.’ Oh." The earlier knot in her chest came back, bringing a weighty friend for her stomach. "And look, you even drew little equals signs along the border with the butterflies and starbursts.”

Fluttershy frowned, eyes glistening. "Do you not like it?"

"I..." Starlight bit her lip, gut twisting as she forced herself to put aside pretty lies. "Fluttershy, if I got this from anypony else, I'd think it was a sick joke."

There wasn't any screaming or tears or shock. Just a confused tilt of the head and a "What do you mean?"

Starlight gave Fluttershy an equally confused look, then tried to ignore the irony. "The whole point of Twilight's friendship lessons is to get me away from the mindset that led to Equalism. I don't think she'll appreciate an invitation to defend my earlier position."

"Oh." Fluttershy gave what she probably thought was a sly smile. It was like looking at a four-year-old "sneaking" her way to the cookie jar. "Well, you have to remember, Starlight. I'm not Twilight."

"Well, yeah. You certainly aren't if you think this is a good idea." Starlight jabbed a hoof at the floating coupon to better emphasize its overall this-ness.

"I have a bit more experience in reforming creatures who haven't exactly been nice in the past." Somehow that smile looked a lot more cunning when backed with evidence.

"Oh." Starlight coughed into a fetlock. "Right."

"My talks with Discord have helped both of us understand the reasons why he wreaked havoc on Equestria, and healthy ways he can fulfill those same needs."

"You know, I keep forgetting you have the physical incarnation of madness and anarchy over for tea on Tuesdays." Starlight's already shaky smile slipped further when a thought struck her. "Are we, uh, expecting him?"

Fluttershy shook her head. "Oh no. Seasonal allergies. Carols give him hives, and the honey would get everywhere."

Starlight blinked midway through her sigh of relief. "I'm really not sure how to process that, so I'm just going to move on."

Somehow, that got Fluttershy to give a wide smile. "See? You're already sounding like my other friends."

Starlight felt an eyelid start twitching at that. "Except that I'm trying to internalize that your incredible diversity is a good thing, despite it flying in the face of everything I believed! Because I was, and I cannot emphasize this enough, wrong about everything."

"I'm not sure I believe that," Fluttershy said with that impossibly understanding look of hers. "I'm not sure you do either."

"Oh, I do. I absolutely do."

Fluttershy just looked into her mug, still smiling. "I don't think pure wrong, pure evil, really exists."

Starlight needed a moment to process that before she could respond. "Seriously? Twilight's taught me about some of your adventures. What about Chrysalis? What about Tirek?"

"Chrysalis was trying to feed her people; she just didn't see any better way than taking what she needed by force. Tirek... Well, Discord says he was there when it all started. In the end, Tirek was just trying to get his father to respect him. Every creature has a reason for why they do what they do. Luna was lonely. Sunset Shimmer felt betrayed. Discord told himself nothing mattered." Fluttershy looked back up at Starlight. "If you reach out to others, you can try to understand the pain they carry, and try to help heal it. That's practically my job."

"So I'm just another bird with a broken wing." Starlight said it flatly, but at least she could pin some kind of understandable motive on the gift beyond delusional self-destruction.

Or she thought she could. Fluttershy shaking her head challenged that. "No. You're a mare with a broken heart. That's a lot trickier."

Starlight found herself grateful that she'd emptied her mug earlier. "I think you may be reading too much into Sunburst and me."

Fluttershy tilted her head. "I didn't say anything about Sunburst," she said with genuine-sounding confusion.

"W-well..." Starlight sputtered her way through several sounds that were almost words before facehoofing. "Ugh, I can't tell if that innocent look's an act or not."

A giggle answered her. "The point is that you're still healing, still trying to make sense of the world after what you thought was true got torn down. I've been there myself."

"You? Really?"

Fluttershy nodded. "Getting my cutie mark made me reevaluate everything. I'd never even considered living on the surface before then. And when you're rebuilding your sense of who you are, you need more than one pony to help you. Twilight's a great friend, but sometimes she thinks a little too much about the process and not quite enough about the pony."

"Well, I can't deny that." Starlight looked back at the coupon. She'd all but forgotten she'd still been holding it. "But do we have to talk about my dumb, back-flankwards philosophy?"

"You mean the one that brought together a bunch of ponies who felt lost and alone and gave them a home and friends?"

"Sure, and a cheerful overlord to dictate their every thought." Starlight sighed. "You're not the only one who's tried to understand the pain others carry, Fluttershy. But I was never very interested in healing it."

Fluttershy spread a wing over her withers. "They still came to you. They still stayed."

"They didn't have much of a choice."

"But you still tried to help them in the way you felt was best, just like Twilight helped you tonight." 

Starlight grimaced. "You're being really generous about my motives there."

Those big, green eyes stared straight into her soul. "Am I wrong?"

"Well..." Another knee-jerk objection came to mind, but this time, Starlight actually let herself think about it. Maybe it was the contact; nopony had ever felt that comfortable with her in Ourtown. Maybe it was just the seasonal spirit of camaraderie. Whatever the case, she found her lips making an uneasy smile. "I have to admit, I did want to at least keep everypony pacified enough not to think about leaving. I guess that counts?"

Fluttershy squeezed her with her wing. "It's a good start. And together, we can grow from there."

"I'm still not sure about that, but I guess it can't hurt to get out of the castle." And yet something yet nagged at Starlight. "Still, what do you get out of this?"

"Me?" Fluttershy blinked with what Starlight suspected was less than authentic innocence.

"Come on, Fluttershy. You wouldn't be this insistent without a reason. And not just 'To help a friend.'"

The pegasus drew back her wing, shifting her mane to hide behind it. "I like helping my friends."

Starlight raised an eyebrow. "And?"

"Well..." Fluttershy gave a sheepish grin from under her mane. "I also don't have much to do with so many of my friends hibernating for the winter."

"There it is. And I understand. Not like this is good kite-flying weather either." Starlight put on a bashful look of her own. "And after the last time I tried to fix that..."

"We had some... issues last Fall Finale," said Fluttershy. "The weather teams wanted to make sure this one went off without a hitch."

"Anyway, I'll be happy to come visit, weather and Twilight's lessons permitting." Starlight held up a forehoof. "But. I'm not making any promises about Equalism."

"I suppose I can't ask for more than that."

Shouts drew both mares' attention to the heart of the party. Somehow, the entire Hearth's Warming tree was teetering back and forth like a metronome. If Starlight had to guess, it was probably related to Rainbow Dash, Twilight, and Ditzy Doo singing rather raucous carols and conducting with three sloshing mugs of cider, more or less in time with the tree.

"Actually," she said, unable to tear her eyes away, "how about I take you up on that offer right now?"

Fluttershy nodded in her peripheral vision. "I think that sounds like a very good idea."