Second story, here we go. Decided to make it a prequel of "Luna's crossroad" since I can see it occurring after this story.
As Luna says goodbye to the elements bearers she now has to deal with something that she dreads just as more as the monster that was just defeated.
Celestia.
Well basically this very self explanatory, what happens to Luna after the Tantabus episode? It not only focuses on her but also on Celestia to give sense to what she does on the story and also there is plenty reminiscing to give an idea of how Equestria is in my story and to give an idea of the lives of the sisters. I don't know if there is enough sadness for the tag but I will put it just in case.
It was midnight at Canterlot castle and princess Luna, like last week, had found herself with nothing to do.
"Since my sister forbidden me from doing both my court and dreamwalking duties I don't really have anything to do during my nights," Luna thought as she was walking the castle hallways, "I'll just keep walking around the castle then, there isn't much else to do."
While walking her mind drifted to what happend days earlier that caused Celestia to make such a decision: when the Tantabus tried to escape to the real world.
"That was stupid, I almost doom Equestria again! Just what kind of ruler I'm that keeps putting their subjects at risk?! It seemed so simple at the time, just something to punish myself until I would feel I had atoned from my mistakes," She thought.
While Luna had forgiven herself in the end she still felt some remmaning feelings about it now that time had passed and especially since Celestia's reprimand.
She still remembered when Celestia asked her to meet in private.
A Week ago:
Before going to the dining room on their evening meal, she was still thinking of a way to inform her of what had happened but as she closed the door and looked at Celestia noticing the bags under her eyes indicating she was very tired and stressed (it takes a lot for Celestia to start showing how tired she is) and noticing the spell that stopped sound from leaving the room she was pretty sure that it was too late now.
It was confirmed when Celestia said, "Luna! How could you do that?! I just got a letter from Twilight saying that a monster from the dreamworld that you created to punish yourself almost escaped to the real world!"
Seeing the always composed Celestia losing her cool so suddenly stunned Luna as she stood there shocked.
If there was one thing for Celestia to let her anger loose, it was if her ponies were in mortal danger and she didn't know; couldn't do anything, "Do you don’t know how what you did could have affected our ponies if something went wrong? Why would you feel like doing it in the first place?!”
Luna opened her mouth to speak but Celestia was faster, "Why didn't you say anything to me? I could have helped you! Don't you trust me? Please, sister just why?" Celestia's eyes were wide and her speech frantic.
Being on the end of such a lash out gave Luna the confidence to respond, "Why would I, sister? I know now that I needed to forgive myself but that's not easy! Besides where were you before all this?! I didn't created the Tantabus yesterday! While I didn't want to tell you because you would only try to stop me, you didn't made any effort to approached me! I'm pretty sure I wasn't that sneaky with it!."
"Because I trusted that you were well enough to deal with your problems! I can see now that it was a mistake! I know I'm not the best sister but it still pains me to see you do such things to yourself!" Celestia went from angry to sad by this point. "You said it was too much but I believe 1000 years of banishment is already a hard punishment that was too hard considering our actual fight lasted less than an hour."
The mention of their fight sapped much of Luna's confidence but she still had enough to say, "Look,Sister I'm sorry about this mess but I tried to take over Equestria and I'm sure I wouldn't have been a kind ruler like you, just thinking what could have happened was enough to know that I wasn't punished enough."
Even hearing again Celestia it still surprised that Luna had such thoughts, she had kept an eye on her until nightmare night where she thought that her troubles had subsided enough that Luna could make peace on her own.
Before her banishment Luna was a very confident pony, not willing to let something keep her down for long and always looking for ways to bounce back from her troubles, clearly this wasn't the case.
Thinking back, Celestia realized that Luna's mood was consistently down, excluding an aura of nervousness that didn't seem to go away, even after nightmare night it was there just more subdued. In fact just now was the first time that Luna actually tried to talk back to her with such strength but she could already see how that was disappearing as seconds tick by.
At first she thought that it was because Luna had just experienced the worst moment of her life but at the time she believed that Luna's natural resilience combined with the elements of harmony purging her of the dark magic that created Nightmare Moon along with the feelings that gave strength to it, she would recover with time.
But instead Luna had replaced anger and jealousy with sadness and shyness that showed to Celestia that Luna had changed either temporarily or permanently (that last one sent dread through her spine) and she needed to expect her to act differently than before, at least for now.
"Luna," Celestia said, steeling herself what she had to say, "Considering the possible consequences of what you did and until I'm absolutely sure that you are… in a state of mind that won't hurt our ponies I declared that you are relieved of your duties both here and on the dreamworld."
Luna recoiled in shock as she stared at Celestia with wide eyes and open mouth, unavailable to come with an immediate response.
Celestia looked sad and with drop ears at both her words and the state of Luna, she hated talking to her like that, she had done enough of that before her banishment and look what that ended up causing but right now it was necessary. She needed to be strong, she couldn't afford to doubt herself now, she was doing this for the good of the realm and nothing was more important than that, not even her sister.
She had made that decision 1000 years ago, as much as regretted not finding another way she knew she couldn’t risk the lives of her ponies even when their fight just started. There was no turning back now, she chose her way.
Still, she needed to leave, the wounds of this discussion were deep and she had to sleep and reorganize her thoughts, at this rate either of them would do something stupid soon, so she left her there with a heavy heart as she walked away.
Luna stood there still unable to form a response as Celestia exited the room, had she been paying attention she would have seen a few tears coming out of Celestia’s eyes.
Luna was a mixture of so much indignation, sadness and anger that she just let herself fall to the floor and cry between her hooves, the lone guard that didn't rushed to check what was wrong with Celestia rushed into the room but seeing her on the floor like that just made him stay well away from her in a combination of fear and confusion.
After a while Luna stopped crying and just headed to her room without bothering to clean herself up and as she walked the hallways she eyed the guards that made sure to keep a wide space between her and them.
Looking into their eyes she saw that fear that always seems to linger whenever she’s around, even those she knew were thestrals in the mist had some fear on their look but theirs was more a fear of bothering their ruler than the usual fear of Nightmare Moon.
While closing on her room she thought how the cause changes but her subjects always seem to fear her for one reason or the other, 1000 years ago for most it was because they feared any nocturnal being while the thestrals still had that same fear of bothering her that never went away even after all this time.
Only once every couple generations (something even more) there was a pony that enjoyed her night but even then they had to keep it secret since it would be ostracized by the population that thought that anypony that liked the night was liking the various predators that lurked in it.
Since most ponies are easy prey at night especially during that era when most of the countryside was still home to various predators, attacks were not uncommon outside of the most travelled roads where her guard presence was at its highest.
The lunar guard had always the trouble of low ponypower to supply their forces since basically it consisted of only thestrals with along the rare desperate for a salary to supply themselves or their family.
This was solved after her banishment with the sudden increase in enlistment for the solar guard as ponies were determined to destroy the animals that lurked at night (including the thestrals) to commemorate the victory of the sun against the moon along with the lunar guard dissolvement.
Thestrals were eventually driven into hiding but after some centuries at Celestia’s insistence relationship between them and the rest of ponykind mostly normalized and now they are seen as just another pony if in a lot of places aside from some small towns and groups.
Most of this was told to her by Celestia as ponies still struggle to write much when it comes to history but getting her mind out of dark places as she reached the door to her room she concluded that she needed to stop thinking so much about the past, it will eventually go to feelings of guilt if she doesn't stop it.
She spent the night in her balcony as she tried to come to terms with what had happened.
As Luna finished reminiscing those moments, her mind went to how the rest of that week went.
Celestia had done well to stop Luna from her duties, even ordering the day guard to "protect" her at all times during the night (Celestia gave them a proper bonus pay for that). Knowing that the night guards were more likely to listen to a Luna countermand.
Luna now had to wake earlier to meet with Celestia after she had apologized for lashing out at her along with her basically put her in time out and she had decided to make a place in their schedules to meet and help her get through this.
Luna certainly didn't mind, she had tried the lone route and it ended miserable, it was time to confide in Celestia. She was also understanding of her "vacation" that while disagreeing with it, she knew that she wasn't at her best mentally.
Her thoughts went to how her subjects reacted to her absence or rather the lack of reaction, no one on Canterlot and its surroundings noticed anything wrong with the nation as no pony really gave importance to what happens in the castle at night.
Some therstals had gone to ask Celestia about Luna's absence but she had responded that Luna was just stressed and needed some time off. They didn't fully believed her but still were willing to give the benefit of the doubt to one of their rulers.
Luna then thought about what Celestia said about maybe finding a psychologist for her but both of them knew that would be hard if not impossible due to the small but key differences in the thought process of mortals and immortals, mainly how they cope with with their problems since alicorns had eternity to come to terms with them while the rest had to solve them within the small frame of time of their lives.
A problem that would require medicine for a mortal and with most of them having side-effects later on, an alicorn just required patience and even for a psychologist that would require such an open frame of mind and adaptation that would be rare not to mention they could pass away before the problem is gone.
"Still it may be a good idea to have one check me if only to diagnose me and then me and my sister could see where to go from there," Luna thought. "Then again if somepony were to find out, my position as ruler will take a severe blow and I don't think I can afford to take one a this point when most are still fearing me."
While nightmare night helped give Luna some good standing with her subjects it was mostly focused only on Ponyville and a few individuals with connections to that village, the rest of the country either distrusted the news or needed more to let go of their fear.
Luna knew Celestia had to work hard to keep the Tatanbus incident under wraps, if it became public knowledge it would be the end of not only her short return as a ruler but also probably even of her status as a free pony. Tartarus was something she didn't want to see as a prisoner.
Luna shrouded just thinking about it but focused on other things like what Celestia said about her changes in personality. "Did I really have been acting so unlike before my banishment? Oh how can I doubt that, of course I did" She thought.
She remembered how eager she was to defend Equestria in the past, to show that the nation wasn't one to mess with; how confident she was to tackle her problems with minimal doubts and find ways to make it work; how she didn't feared to voice her opinion if something was against her beliefs, not even when Celestia was the one voicing her displeasure.
"So much confidence that turned into overconfidence when I wasn't able to think of other ways to change my subjects' minds about me aside from a few and the last one lead me to transform into Nightmare Moon."
After her return Luna knew that she just couldn't find anywhere near that level of confidence she had before, not only was she scared of being rejected to her face, just the thought of another banishment made her legs shake. It was an irrational fear, but fears rarely are rational. She first felt some of that old confidence when she went to nightmare night but still, after coming back she realized that it didn't help her much considering it was only one town that accepted her unlike the rest of the nation. It was actually a week ago when she felt confident again if for a little bit when she was under Celestia's lash out, Luna guessed that she really needed to talk more with her.
She also had a fear of contradicting her sister both because she could be punished and because her actions had shown that Celestia didn't needed Luna to be a successful ruler in the span of a millenia.
The punishment part was something she clearly knew that was stupid and yet, she just kept thinking how Celestia chose to banish her after so little time on their fight, she never imagined that she would put their subjects so much above her that she'll go that far so quickly.
Luna felt bitterness for a moment before stopping that feeling. "She did what she had to do as a ruler and yet… would I have done the same if roles were reversed?"
No, she knew that she would have let some of her subjects come to harm if it meant to save Celestia, she didn't know if that made her a bad ruler but there was a point when she had to put her sister, her only family alive and eternal companion, first (not even her bond Cadence and Twilight if she got her wings will compare to the one she had with Celestia).
The part of being successful was truth though, even if Celestia said that they needed to rule together, Celestia had showed that she could do not only just fine on her own, she even thrived without Luna as co-ruler. Celestia tried to downplay it saying that while there was peace, relations with some other countries were strained and other species were usually either feared or outright hated but Luna still couldn't stop feeling like that was something she couldn't help with, Celestia was the element of kindness after all and if she wasn't able to make friends with them it was impossible for Luna to even try.
"Equestria needs one ruler indeed, just not me. No, can't think like that, I'll find something to help this nation aside from my dreamwalking that ponies still are getting used to, I know I can."
Luna tried to muster some confidence but it was hard and decided to take a fly around the castle to clear her thoughts.
"With my sister helping me I'll get through this, I have to," Was her final thought as she took off into the night sky.
Celestia was thinking of how Luna's progress was coming and she could say there has been some progress at the very least.
Celestia kept her ban on Luna's duties for a month when she was sure that Luna's mind wasn't self destructive (she did kept one solar guard to inform her if things looked bad), she was proud and relieved of her for that but knew that this was only the first step in the long road to recovery.
Celestia was still feeling some shame on herself because of her inability to see Luna's suffering again but knew that meant that these "sessions" were also helping her to know how to be a better sister.
Not only they talked about Luna on their reunions but also of Celestia, how was her day, duties, her students, the reign for a millenia. All things that Celestia was never able to talk truly and without having to curb what she had to say if it was somepony else, with Luna she could be 100% truthful and be accepted, it also helped Luna to see that Celestia wasn't as happy as she appeared to be.
Thinking back she still felt some shame for snapping at Luna like that 10 months ago, after 1000 of being in control and ahead of any problems, the fact she would have been sleeping unaware when something like the Tantabus happened was a buck in the jaw. Still was no excuse to lose control like that, even if it was something she subconsciously thought wouldn't happen until her retirement.
Celestia really should have thought of making these reunions before, earlier than Luna's banishment for sure, but she was always so busy than she thought she couldn't take a break if that meant that some ponies wouldn't have the chance to pose their problems to her.
It was only until she started to take personal students that she discovered she could take breaks from duty without ponies in need being ignored, it just took some better time management wiched worked thanks to her assistants.
She knew now that it was stupid to think she needed to listen to as much ponies as possible but at the time considering the world was a more dark place she thought it neccesary. Even so it wasn't that bad, ponies were mostly content aside from attacks at night which were handled by Luna and a lot of requests were for small things.
In the end she was probably too kind, she gave so much to the ponies, even those that didn't need it that she had nothing left to give to Luna and she paid the price. Kindness can give way to naivete, she learned that the hard way.
Celestia really thought that Luna, while not revered as her, was accepted and appreciated thanks to her efforts. She should have seen the truth, they hated her and everything she represented. She deluded herself into thinking that it was always the individuals that had trouble with her that made it to Celestia's court and the majority of the population thought good of Luna.
As she was thinking on pony behaviour during her time as sole ruler she discovered that ponies always seem to want to blame something for their sufferings that's not themselves or their group. First it was race on the era of three tribes, then it was Discord that while justified whet way beyond his reign that her subjects blamed Discord for a lot of things, then they blamed the night and Luna and finally today it was other species that while Celestia made efforts to stop them, it was still predominant in a lot of small settlements.
"Twilight will hopefully take care of that when she ascends, as princess of friendship she will surely stop such thinking from my, no her ponies," Celestia thought.
She was completely surprised when she realized how devoted the ponies were to her and the day, she received petitions to make the days last as long as it possible can or even find ways to make plants be able to last in the sun all the time so they could get rid of the night. All rejected of course but still hurt to see the hate they had for the night.
The celebrations, they were so enthusiastic to celebrate the banishment of Luna that she had to compromised and make nightmare night so the ponies could be happy, she didn't want to antagonize them so she could make reforms easier in the future.
It took a lot time to make the reforms as she had to wait until ponies forgot about Luna (how that hurt Celestia to do but it was neccesary) to make them or they'll think that she was doing similar to Nightmare Moon (nonsense but Celestia knew ponies could be easy to panic).
Changing her focus to the present Celestia went with how Luna was progressing. Aside from some moments she had to hold her crying on her she seemed to start to get some confidence back, particularly in the dreamworld helping foals with their nightmares as she not only stops them but talks with the foals about their problems.
It wasn’t the same in the real world for the moment though as she was still pretty shy when dealing with strangers and preferred to stay well away from most public matters.
Celestia gave the idea to Luna that she could support astronomy in the nation, a young and very small field that certainly could use the found of the crown. Luna until now has supported without going herself to meet them but it was unlikely it will stay that way for long. Luna was giddy to help ponies who studied her night and it will eventually override her fear of rejection.
At least when the sisters were alone Luna was voicing her opinion more even when it was something that contradicted Celestia, it was rare sadly but hopefully it will get better soon.
"As much as I have avoided bad decisions in the past, I wonder if there were better options that Luna could have thought of," Celestia thought.
The idea of a physcologist was in the end scrapped as the risk of somepony finding out was too great.
Celestia decided it was to think of stuff as she went on with her day. It was a long way before Luna resembled the mare she was in the past but Celestia knew it would only be a matter of time for it to happen.
Luna was standing on a balcony looking at her moon as sunrise time approached and she started looking back at how she has progressed during these 4 years since the Tantabus.
It took her a year before she started going herself at the astronomy association and she couldn't have been more happy at how well she was received, the ponies there were very enthusiastic to learn about the night sky from Luna and she was eager to talk about it to them.
The field itself has improved as the help of Luna has given the ponies direction on where to improve and increased the number of ponies, especially the young ones that have found fascination in astronomy.
It still took her another year before she gathered the courage to encourage a field that she wasn't an expert herself, like art where while she's interested in it and she draws for time to time she didn't give it the interest she gave to astronomy. Still she eventually started to donate funding to art schools and eventually when the ponies started to let go of their fear of her, she invited them to the palace to showcase their work.
The fear from the ponies took around 2 years before it started to noticeably disappear as her previous work started to change their fear to wariness that while not ideal at least it gave her the chance to talk without them running away.
It was also around this time that she finally managed to catch up to all changes made since her banishment, now she could focus on where and how to improve the nation, but that is likely to take a long time and even longer for any changes to take effect and as immortal she had all the time in the world to wait for them.
As the 3rd year from the Tantabus came she decided to also show herself in the dreamworld to the older ponies which she didn't do until then because the few time she had tried until then had ended with the ponies either going back to a nightmare at the sight of her or screaming at her to leave their dreams as they thought she was the cause of their nightmares.
That happened sometimes but it was mostly seen as helping considering she only showed herself to the ponies with the worsts nightmares or recurring ones, for Luna normal nightmares the type that happen once occasionally where something that ponies could resolve themselves and her helping with those could cause them to depend too much on her to solve their problems.
Now 4 years later she found herself in a position she only dreamed of before. Most ponies accept her (not loved but, acceptance was something she rarely got even before her banishment so Luna was happy about it), she found some ponies that loved her work, she could her duties without having to fear her subjects running away or demanding to banish her again (this was mostly the nobles but eventually after they realized it couldn't do it, they bredungly accept her). She still had long periods where she was only by herself but it was something she's come to accept as part of being the night princess and as long as she wasn't alone all the time she could deal with it.
As for Luna's relationship with Celestia? It's mostly pretty well, they are mostly like usual siblings again without the worry of Luna reverting back to how she was before the Tantabus incident and the reunions helped resolve almost all of their problems between each other, "almost" considering Luna thought that Celestia still didn't fully realize how exhausting her night duties were now she had some more people in court along with helping more on the dream realm and the occasional visit to the astronomers as Celestia cheerfulness at waking up were too much for Luna to handle and has give way to the occasional spat.
"Luckily our spats on that matter haven't gone too far yet, but I can't stop thinking it will really come to a head soon," Luna thought.
As if summoned Celestia appeared at that moment, stopped at her side and spoke. "Hello sister! How are you? Ready to start the day?"
"Sure, let's get this done," Luna responded.
"She still hasn't said anything about the flowers I put every night, does she really not care about them?" Luna thought.
Changing her focus she concentrated on lowering the moon, sure with her experience she could do without it but if she concentrated she could make it seem more pretty and if combined with the same concentration by Celestia on her sun it gave some espetacular starts to day and night.
As they finished and the sun was at its correct place, Celestia spoke. "It has been a long road, hasn't it?"
"Yes, and where do we go from here?" Luna said.
"Can't say, Luna but I know that the future is bright for us," Celestia smiled.
For Luna the way Celestia accentuated 'know' gave her a clue that she did know something about the future. "What could it be, another prophecy or vision? Wonder why she wouldn't say it to me, still I'll trust her she'll tell me in time, she hasn't been wrong with Twilight yet so I hope she won't be wrong with this."
"I hope you're right, well in either case, at least we'll deal with it together right?" Luna decided to say.
Celestia hugged Luna with her wing and said, "Always sister, always."
Luna nuzzled Celestia and they stayed like that watching from the balcony until they had to leave. As her mind went back to how impossible this was for her before she thought, "Guess that sometimes dreams do become a reality."
