> Another Side of Friendship: Pony Tails
>  by The Great Twixie
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> On the Job
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a new day in Equestria – one where everypony didn’t have to worry about getting third-degree sunburn. And on this beautiful, sunny summer day, Twilight Sparkle was once again…locked away in her room.

In truth, it was less of a room and more of a miniature library. Every inch of the walls was covered by bookshelves, including the window so that the only source of light came from the few stubby candles that lay scattered about. Hundreds of books filled the shelves, all organized by genre, series, alphabet, and number – an impossible task for anyone less neurotic than Twilight Sparkle. And when there was no more space on the walls, the books were stacked in neat piles on the floor until there was only space for Twilight’s bed and Spike’s basket.

Not gonna lie: this mare has a problem.

Spike was just coming back with a bucket of gemstones that he had stashed away somewhere in the house where he found Twilight exactly as he left her. The lavender unicorn was lying on her bed, using her horn as a headlight while she poured over today’s printing of the Canterlot Chronicler.

Twilight let out an excited squeal when she saw the photo of Mane 6 (the collective name she shared with her new best friends: Sunset Shimmer, Starlight Glimmer, Moon Dancer, Trixie, and Tempest Shadow) spread out on the front underneath the bold headline: “In Their Elements: The Story of How Six Brave Mares Saved The Day (And Night.)”

“Oh my Luna, Spike, this is so exciting!” Twilight squealed. “Can you believe it, Spike? My friends and I actually defeated THE Daybreaker! The Mare in the Sun! Can you believe it, Spike?! Can you?!”

“Yeah, I can,” Spike said in a bored tone. “Because it happened yesterday.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Twilight apologized, giggling, as Spike jumped on the bed next to her. “It’s just that so much gas happened in the last twenty-four hours. We - well, technically I - solved the prophecy of Daybreaker's return, then witnessed her return during the Summer Solstice Festival, got knocked off our flanks by a runaway wagon, traveled all across Equestria to find the Elements of Harmony, unlocked the sixth Element, defeated Daybreaker, and restored Princess Celestia to her original self.... It was a pretty weird and terrifying day."

“Good thing our friends were there to help,” said Spike, shoving a clawful of gems in his mouth.

“Friends…,” Twilight murmured softly. “I can’t believe I have friends now…. I never really cared much about having friends before; all I ever needed was my books and my magic. But now I can’t imagine what my life would be like without them in it. Which is very strange since we only just met each other yesterday.”

“That just shows how important they are to you,” Spike remarked kindly.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Twilight chuckled, petting the baby dragon’s head. “Hey, Sunset Shimmer invited everypony to the castle for breakfast. You want to come? Sunset tells me they serve the best sweet apple cinnamon rolls in all of Equestria from apples imported directly from Sweet Apple Acres.”

“Would I?!” said Spike, jumping to his feet in excitement. “What’re we sitting around here for? C’mon, let’s go, let’s go!”

Twilight giggled at his enthusiasm. Just then, a sharp knock came from her bedroom door.

“Come in!” Twilight called. The door opened and Twilight’s parents, Twilight Velvet and Nightlight, entered the room. “Hey, mom. Hey, dad. Can I help you with something? Did dad break the blender again?”

“That happened one time!” Nightlight complained.

“Six,” Twilight Velvet corrected.

“Six times!” said Nightlight.

“And, no, we don’t really need help with anything,” Twilight Velvet shook her head. “We actually wanted to talk to you, Twilight.”

“About what?” Twilight asked curiously.

“First, can we just say that we are so proud of you, Twilight,” said Nightlight, smiling wide with his wife. “We always knew you were special since you were a foal. Hatched a baby dragon on the first try, graduated top of your class at Princess Luna’s School for Gifted Unicorns, and now you’ve saved the world and brought back Princess Celestia from a thousand-year banishment. We couldn’t be any happier.”

“I’m sensing a ‘but’ here,” said Twilight, concerned.

“But…,” Twilight Velvet said hesitantly. “It’s just that…you graduated six months ago and, well, your father and I think it’s time you started focusing on yourself. You know, finding work, getting a place of your own, maybe find a nice stallion to settle down with – “

“Or mare, if that’s your preference,” Nightlight injected.

“Wait, are you kicking me out?!” Twilight yelped, gasping.

“No, no, nothing like that!” Twilight Velvet shook her head. “We love having you around, Twilight, but you’re a grown mare now, and we think you should have some stability in your life. Shining Armor moved out a while ago and now he’s captain of Princess Luna's royal guard. We think it might be time that you do the same.”

“It’s not that we don’t love you, Twilight,” said Nightlight gently. “It’s because we love you that we’re asking you to start thinking about your future. Your mother and I aren’t going to be around forever, you know.”

“Yeah…I guess not…,” Twilight mumbled uncertainly. “But…where do I even start?”

“Why don’t you ask those new friends of yours!” Twilight Velvet suggested optimistically. “They all seem like an interesting assortment of ponies. One of them is even the princess’s student. Maybe they can help you get started.”

“Hmm,” Twilight hummed, tapping her chin thoughtfully. “Yeah…yeah, you’re right! They all have real world experience! If anyone can help me stand on my hooves, it’s them!” Funnily enough, she stood on her hooves at that exact moment. “C’mon, Spike, we’re going to see our friends!”

“Apple cinnamon rolls, here I come!” Spike cheered, pumping his claws in the air.

Twilight rolled her eyes amusingly and levitated the baby dragon on her flank. The lavender mare bounced off the bed and galloped out of the room, shouting good-byes to her parents before she left. Though she was understandably worried about the sudden change in her life, Twilight felt assured that her new friends would help her along the way.





One of the perks of being the heroes that saved Equestria from a painful, fiery doom: free passes into the princess’s castle. The guards didn’t even think twice about letting Twilight and Spike in through the gates, especially because the last time they stopped them, it nearly caused the end of the world.

Twilight was practically buzzing with excitement as she sat at the lengthy dining room table directly on Princess Luna’s left side, opposite of the more composed Sunset Shimmer. She had only met the Princess of Equestria once during the Daybreaker Incident, so having the privilege of sitting next to royalty nearly made her faint. The rest of the Mane 6 (and Spike and Grubber) were more focused on the massive spread laid out before them.

The table was lined with a fancy silk cloth; expensive-looking dishware was set in front of everypony complete with sterling silver utensils and crystal goblet. Everything looked like it came out of a three-hoof restaurant from the promised Sweet Apple cinnamon rolls to a bunch of foods that Twilight couldn’t even pronounce the name of.

In short, the entire table was more expensive than her parent’s house.

“Oh man, this is the best breakfast ever!” Spike said through stuffed cheeks, sending bits of cinnamon rolls flying everywhere. “We should eat here more often!”

“Spike, manners!” Twilight chastised him. “We’re in the company of the princess!”

“It’s quite all right, Twilight Sparkle,” said Luna amusingly, taking a delicate sip of her morning tea. “It’s rare that I have such lively company in the morning. I actually quite enjoy it.”

“Yeah, she enjoys it, so stop being such a tightwad,” said Grubber, who had just swallowed a pancake whole before rolling up another stuffing it in his quills. “I am so saving this for later.”

“Grubber, don’t steal pancakes,” said Tempest, scowling. “Steal the fruit tarts; they’re more expensive.”

“You know you don’t have to steal anything, right?” said Sunset with a quirked brow. “You’re basically eating for free?”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Tempest smirked teasingly.

“You know, I thought Princess Celestia would’ve shown up by now,” Starlight commented curiously as she took a big gulp of her coffee. “Is she not coming?”

“My sister is still very weak from her time as Daybreaker,” Luna answered with a hint of sadness in her voice. “The royal physician said it could be many moons before she is stable, so she is confined to her room for the time being.”

“And just after she got out of her prison in the sun,” said Moon Dancer, shaking her head morosely.

“Well, on to more cheerful topics that don’t involve crippled princesses,” said Sunset aloud. “How’s everypony been doing since yesterday? All of Equestria has been buzzing about how we defeated Daybreaker. The royal guards have actually had to throw a bunch of ponies in jail for trying to sneak into the palace for photos.”

“Trixie has gained quite a following recently,” said Trixie proudly. “Trixie gained the sponsorship of the Wonderbolts for her brilliant performance in the Everfree Forest and has been offered to perform regularly at the Crescent Club.”

“Impressive,” Starlight compliment. “I got offered a tutoring position at the School for Gifted Unicorns. I figured if I’m going to keep looking for Sunburst, there’s no better place to keep an ear out than the school he went to.”

“Nothing’s really changed for me,” said Moon Dancer, shrugging nonchalantly. “I’m still working at the book store, but we’ve been getting a lot more customers lately. Now if only they actually bought something instead of taking selfies…”

“We’ve been up to the usual,” Tempest said, gesturing to herself and Grubber. “Stealing, pickpocketing, though ponies don’t chase us as much anymore…. I surprisingly miss the chasing. It was fun.”

“Speak for yourself,” Grubber grumbled, practically inhaling the basket of muffins.

“I would ask you to stop stealing, but that would be a fruitless endeavor,” Luna sighed in defeat before rounding to Twilight. “And what about you, Twilight Sparkle? Has your life undergone any recent changes?”

“Well…,” Twilight said slowly, tapping her hoof awkwardly on the table. “My mom and dad think it’s time I moved out of the house….”

“Wait a second…,” said Starlight strangely. “You still live with your parents? When I was old enough, I could wait to get out of the house! Of course, that didn’t stop my dad from coming to my apartment every day. Thank Luna I moved here….”

“So your parents are finally kicking you out, huh?” said Trixie with a smug smile.

“They’re not kicking me out!” Twilight retorted. “They think that, now that I’ve graduated from school and, you know, saved the world with you girls, I should start preparing for my future. Get a job, find my own place to live, start a relationship with a nice pony…”

Moon Dancer and Trixie perked up at the last item on Twilight’s checklist. Then they noticed each other and shot challenging glares at one another, sparks metaphorically flying between them. All of this went unnoticed by the object of their affection, but not to everypony else. Sunset rolled her eyes at the pair before addressing Twilight.

“I don’t know how to help you with the job and the relationship problem,” she said, “but you could stay in the castle, if you want. At least until you’re on your hooves. Tempest and Grubber are staying in the room just down the hall from mine.”

“Oh, no, I wouldn’t want to impose on you or the princess!” said Twilight, shaking her head frantically.

“It would be no trouble at all!” said Luna delightfully with a kind smile and her wings aflutter. “It’s the least Equestria can do for its heroes. Besides, I do so enjoy the company. I’m not sure you noticed, but the castle is quite big and it can get very lonely at times.”

“Well…if you don’t mind, I suppose I could take up your offer,” said Twilight.

“ Sweet! We’re moving on up!” Spike cheered, pumping his claws in the air.

“That takes care of the living situation,” said Twilight, humming thoughtfully with a hoof to her chin. “Now I should think about finding a job. But what kind of job should I get?”

“Come work at the bookstore!” Moon Dancer shouted before Trixie had a chance to speak. “We both love books, right? What better place to work than a place surrounded by who you love – I mean, what you love,” she corrected quickly, her cheeks tinged pink.

“Great idea, Moon Dancer!” said Twilight giddily. “A bookstore would be the perfect place for me!”

"Stupid four-eyed mare-stealing nerd,” Trixie grumbled under her breath.

“It sounds like you have your affairs in order,” said Luna, smiling. “Maybe afterwards, we could – “ she was interrupted by a loud knocking at the dining room’s double doors. “Enter!”

A well-groomed Earth pony stallion with a stone-gray coat and a Cutie Mark of a pocket watch entered the room with a clipboard in hoof. The stallion bowed his head in Princess Luna’s direction, then bowed to the Mane 6, readjusted his round glasses and walked around the table next to the moon goddess.

“Good morning, your majesty,” the stallion greet politely.

“Good morning, Timetable,” said Princess Luna. “Care to join us for breakfast?”

“I’m afraid I must decline, your majesty – much too busy; not enough time,” said Timetable swiftly. “I thought you might want to go over the today’s schedule, if you don’t mind?”

“Not at all,” said Luna, using her horn to raise her tea to her lips. “Proceed.”

Timetable coughed importantly in his hoof and started to read off the clipboard in a low, drawling voice:

“From nine A.M. to ten A.M. is the daily meeting with the captain of the guard, then you will be hosting a trade agreement with Saddle Arabia between ten A.M. and twelve-thirty P.M. You will be judging the Royal Rose Contest from Twelve-thirty P.M. to one P.M., mediating a dispute between the mayors of Baltimare and Fillydelphia from one P.M. to two P.M., then give a guest lecture for the Canterlot Historical Society at two-thirty – “

Luna spit her tea out in a most undignified fashion, somehow spraying Grubber from across the table. Spike and the mares laughed at the hedgehog’s misfortune, but Luna stared aghast at her aide.

“You only scheduled an hour with the mayors?!” Luna shrieked. “Those two never agree on anything! Anything involving those two together always takes at least three hours! Please tell me you didn’t finalize the meeting with them!”

“Uh…,” Timetable stammered.

“Timetable!” Luna yelled.

“I’m sorry, your majesty!” Timetable whimpered. “I thought I was being proactive!”

“This isn’t the first time this has happened, Timetable!” Luna snapped. “You know you should always check in with me before finalizing everything! Now how’re we going to sort this mess out – “

“We should probably get out of here,” Sunset muttered behind her hoof to the other mares. “This could go on for a while.”

The Mane 6 quietly slipped out of their chairs while Luna continued to berate Timebtable, silently slipping out the door, but not before Spike ran back to grab another clawful of cinnamon buns.





Novella’s Books wasn’t a particularly popular shop, especially with the Canterlot Carousel on the opposite side of the street, but it drummed up enough business to make a stable income. Just enough to convince the owner, Novella, that it was worth taking on another employee.

The kindly old unicorn had given Twilight an apron with the store’s logo to match the one that Moon Dancer was wearing. The bespectacled mare looked even more excited that Twilight was working there than Twilight herself. Maybe she was just happy to have a friend to work with, Twilight thought obliviously.

“I’m glad to have another pony working with us,” said Novella with a gentle smile. “Usually it’s just Moon Dancer and myself working alone, but the little filly absolutely insisted that I give you the job.” She chuckled as she shot a meaningful look to Moon Dancer. “I wonder why….”

“Uh, n-no real reason,” Moon Dancer stuttered, flushed. “Just – helping a friend out, you know.”

“M-hmm,” Novella hummed amusingly, then faced Twilight. “So, Twilight, Moon Dancer tells me you love books.”

“’Love’ doesn’t even begin to describe it,” said Twilight passionately. “I’ve read every book I could get my hooves on ever since I was a foal. I’ve read all 983,755 books in the Canterlot Library – twice!”

“My, that is impressive,” said Novella delightfully. “I think you’re going to fit right in, Twilight Sparkle.”

“I won’t let you down, ma’am!” Twilight declared with an eager salute.

“Well, aren’t you just a bundle of energy?” Novella chuckled good-naturedly. Her horn lit up with magic and levitated two large boxes and a scroll over the counter in front of Twilight. “We just got a new shipment of books in today. You can get started by stocking these on the shelves and taking down the ones on this list to be put in storage.”

“Right away, ma’am,” Twilight said cheerfully with another salute. She levitated the boxes and scroll with her horn, walking to the left side of the store with a skip in her step.

Novella chuckled at the excited little unicorn and said to Moon Dancer, “I can see why you’re so fond of her.”

Moon Dancer groaned, burying her burning face in her hooves.

Twilight hummed a happy little tune under her breath as she walked around the shelf labeled “Adventure” and unrolled the scroll, looking over the list of names. With her natural gift for multitasking, Twilight used her horn to pull down the discontinued books without looking, crossing each name off the list as she went. She completed her checklist in record time, stacking the books neatly in two piles off to the side. This wasn’t so hard, Twilight thought to herself.

But when she opened the box and picked up the first book, that was when her first test began…

“Ooh, the new Daring-Do novel,” Twilight gasped excitedly. “I’ve been waiting months for this to come out! I have to read it – no, Twilight, don’t,” The lavender mare scolded herself. “You’re on the clock. You can read it after work. Think of it as a reward for a job well done.”

Twilight congratulated herself for resisting the temptation, but just as she was about to shelve the book, she paused, rubbing her muzzle with a thoughtful hum.

“You know…Daring-Do is one of the most popular series,” she said to herself. “I should put it in the front of the row where it’s most visible…but then it would be next to Tides of the Horse Sea, which is more of a nautical adventure instead of jungle-based. I could put it next to Lord of the Horseshoe, but then the fantasy genre would clash with Daring-Do’s exploratory type. Maybe I could put it next to the King of Kaiju series….”

Meanwhile, Moon Dancer was going over the ledger of the weekly profits when Novella poked her head out of the backroom, looking around curiously.

“Moon Dancer, have you seen Twilight Sparkle?” she asked. “I told her to stock those shelves ages ago and she’s not done yet.”

“Huh, that’s weird,” Moon Dancer commented strangely. “She’s usually on top of things like that. I’ll check it out.”

The bespectacled pony walked around the counter and trotted toward the adventure section where she last saw Twilight. But when she came around the bookcase, her jaw dropped in horror. Every shelf in the entire section had been cleared out, all the books in piles (neat, numerical, and alphabetized piles). Twilight was floating several books in the air, glaring at the bookcase in front of her like it had issued a challenge. She put one book on the first shelf, but then removed it and replaced it with a new book, only to replace that one with another book.

It was all too much for Moon Dancer to handle.

“Twilight, what did you do?!” Moon Dancer cried.

“Oh, hey, Moon Dancer,” Twilight greeted cheerfully, not understanding the issue. “I was thinking about reorganizing the whole system. What do you think? Should we go with genre type followed by author name and series order, or background type followed by series name and alphabetical order?”

“Twilight, you need to put those back right now!” Moon hissed urgently, panicking. “If Miss Novella sees this, she’s gonna have a – “

Moon Dancer winced when she heard a sharp gasp from behind her, followed by a dull thud. She and Twilight turned their heads slowly to the end of the row, breathing sharply inward. They found Novella lying on her back, her hooves over her heart, her eyes bulging and her mouth open in a silent scream. Twilight and Moon Dancer cringed, exchanging uncomfortable looks.

“Should we call somepony…?” Twilight asked awkwardly.

“That would probably be a good idea…,” Moon Dancer grimaced.

“SPIKE, TAKE A LETTER!” Twilight shouted to the backroom.





“You almost killed an old mare by giving her a heart attack?” Starlight guffawed loudly. “No wonder they fired you!”

“I didn’t mean to; I was trying to help!” Twilight complained.

Starlight threw back head, her laughter echoing down the hall.

Twilight never thought she would come back to Princess Luna’s School for Gifted Unicorns since she graduated. But after Miss Novella was carted off to the hospital and Twilight’s subsequent firing from the bookstore, she and Spike had run into Starlight on her way to school and was kind enough to invite Twilight to her tutoring job.  After putting in a good word with Professor Inkwell (who Twilight remembers was not particular fond of her or Spike back in school), she accepted.

Twilight felt a wave of nostalgia as they cantered through the halls of Princess Luna’s schools. She had a lot of fond memories here: reading books in class, reading books in the library, reading books during recess, reading books during lunch, reading books during school carnivals….

Twilight hanged her head in shame.

“I’ve lived a sad, pathetic life,” Twilight realized.

“I coulda told you that,” Spike commented.

“Not helping,” Twilight grumbled.

“This job should be a cinch for you,” Starlight told Twilight positively. “At least once a day, some colts or fillies come asking for help practicing their magic or need some guidance on assignments. All we have to do is help them to the best of our abilities. Shouldn’t be a problem for the pony who graduated top of her class, right? Oh, but don’t give them the answer straight out. They need to learn these things for themselves.”

“Okay, sounds easy enough,” said Twilight optimistically.

“Is what Twilight always says before something blows up in her face,” Spike commented.

“Hush, you,” Twilight scolded the baby dragon before turning to Starlight. “So, is there anything I can help with?”

“You’re in luck,” said Starlight cheerfully. “Two colts have signed up for morning tutoring sessions. We can each take one and cut our work time in half.”

“Sounds great!” said Twilight chipperly.

Starlight leads them to room 102 and pushes the door open. Inside, they found two young unicorn colts sitting at separate round tables away from each other with their textbooks opened in front of them. They perked their heads up as the mares and the baby dragon walked in.

“Good Morning, you two,” Starlight greeted cheerfully. “I’m Starlight Glimmer and this is my good friend, Twilight Sparkle. We’ll be your tutors for today.”

“You’re with the Mane 6, aren’t you?” one of the colts gasped excitedly while the other clapped his hooves.

“Heh, yeah, we are,” Starlight chuckled. “Don’t know how that name got out, but moving on. We’ll be helping you with whatever you need. Not to brag or anything, but Twilight and I are pretty good with magic.”

“And I graduated top of my class when I went to school here,” Twilight announced proudly.

“So much for not bragging,” Spike commented.

“We’re going to be working with you individually,” Starlight announced. “I’ll be working with Newton. Twilight, why don’t you see what you can do with Darwin over there?”

She pointed to the unicorn colt at the farthest table, and Twilight silently nodded in agreement. The pair trotted to their separate tables while Spike took a seat next to the door, pulling out a bag of gemstones from who knows where. The baby dragon already knew how this was going to go and was content on watching it all play out.

“Hello, Darwin,” Twilight greeted the colt cheerfully. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, your tutor. Well, you know that already, because Starlight just said so and…. Well, anyway, what can I help you with?”

“I can’t figure out this one spell for transmutation class,” Darwin complained, shoving the book across the table in front of Twilight. “We’re supposed to use magic to change the phases of matter. I can turn a solid into a liquid with no problem, but I can't figure out how to change a liquid to a gas.”

“Ah, I remember this one,” said Twilight reminiscently. “The vaporization spell. Lots of ponies had trouble with this back when I was in school. Of course, I got it on the first try, not that I’m bragging or anything – “

“You totally are!” Spike called across the room.

“Anyway, it’s really quite simple once you understand the theory behind the spell,” Twilight explained, ignoring Spike’s comment as she pointed her hoof at various points of the textbook. “First thing you have to do is calculate the density of – “

The lavender mare went into a long, overcomplicated tangent about the various states of matter, the dozens of magical theories that went behind transmutation magic, and a bunch of complicated equations. It was so long, tedious and boring that even the author couldn’t bring themselves to write it down and skipped over the whole thing for the sake of their sanity. It was even worse for Darwin, who had lost focused three minutes into Twilight’s lecture and was leaning his head on his hoof, staring ahead with a glazed look in his eye, drool dripping down his slackened muzzle.

“ - and that’s the secret to the three phases of matter,” Twilight concluded brightly. “Did you get all that, Darwin?”

The colt just stared dimwittedly. Twilight frowned, pounding her hoof on the table to snap him out of it.

“Huh? Wha? What happened?” Darwin asked disoriented.

“Hmm, it looks like we’re going to have to go over your poor study habits before we get into the real work,” said Twilight, shaking her head disappointedly. “Luckily, I’m willing to take the time to help you reach your full potential.” She then summoned a notebook and started scribbling wildly on the paper. “I think we should schedule regular meetings twice a day, five times a week to get the very best results. How do you feel about meeting during free period and after school?”

Meanwhile, Starlight watched her student with a proud smile as the young colt blasted the apple on the table with magic, causing it to float in the air on its own.

“Good work, Newton,” Starlight praised, patting the colts head. “You picked up that gravity spell in record time.”

“I had a really great tutor,” Newton said cheerfully.

“Don’t be silly, you did it all on your own; I just gave you a nudge in the right direction,” said Starlight, nudging the colt playfully, which earned a happy giggle. She then shouted across the room, “Hey, Twilight, how’s it going over there?”

Starlight blinked, taken aback as Darwin suddenly stood up from his chair, carrying his books across the room, and dumped them into the trash bin next to the door.

“I can’t take any more of this! I’m dropping out of school” Darwin declared furiously. “If anypony needs me, I’ll be bird watching at the Galapegasus Islands!”

And the young colt slammed the door behind him as hard as he could, cracking the window. Starlight and Newton blinked dull-wittedly, then turned their heads slowly to Twilight. The lavender unicorn chuckled sheepishly with a nervous grin.

“Yep, totally called it,” said Spike dryly, chewing another clawful of gems.





Twilight trotted down the streets of upper Canterlot, Spike bouncing on her flank, following a step behind Trixie. After she got chewed out by Professor Inkwell for causing one of her top students to drop out, Twilight had literally been kicked to the curb. That curb just happened to be where Trixie had parked her wagon that day. The showmare had been brewing potions when Twilight slammed into her walls, and Trixie stuck her head out the window in confusion. After she explained the situation, Trixie was more than delighted to help.

“You’re going to love working for the Great and Powerful Trixie,” Trixie proclaimed proudly. “Be warned: The Great and Powerful Trixie can be as tough as she is magically gifted.”

“So not that much,” Spike remarked.

“Spike!” Twilight chastised him, then rounded to the blue mare “Thanks for helping me out, Trixie. After the bookstore and the tutor jobs failed, I was starting to worry I would never find work.”

“It is Trixie’s pleasure,” said Trixie.

“So, what’s the job?” Twilight asked eagerly. “Are you going to make me your Great and Powerful assistant to help you perform on stage? Because I know some neat spells that could really make the show pop.”

“Uh, no,” Trixie said shortly with an unimpressed stare. “Trixie does not share the stage. Ever. Besides, Twilight Sparkle would only distract the audience from performance with her beauty – “

“What?” Twilight asked, blinking.

“Nothing!” Trixie yelped quickly. She coughed in her hoof, and continued, “Trixie has decided that Twilight Sparkle will become Trixie’s manager.”

“Manager?” asked Twilight curiously.

“Yes, Trixie’s manager,” Trixie explained. “Your job is to manage Trixie’s schedule, make sure that Trixie is always available for the best opportunities, and overall think of ways to promote the Great and Powerful Trixie.”

“So…basically I’m the one in charge of your whole career, right?” asked Twilight uncertainly.

“Well, I wouldn’t put it that way,” mumbled Trixie. “Just make good decisions that are best for Trixie. I remember you were always good with schedules and checklists back in school, so this should be easy for you.”

“You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into,” Spike commented.

“Oh, hush, Spike,” said Twilight. “Don’t worry, Trixie, I’ll be the best manager you could ever ask for.”

“That’s what I like to hear, Twilight Sparkle!” said Trixie as they stopped outside Joe’s Donuts. “Now if you’ll excuse Trixie, Trixie will be getting an oat smoothie. We’ll talk more when Trixie comes back.”

While the showmare walked inside Joe’s Donuts, Twilight looked back at Spike and said, “Spike, take a note.”

“Uh, okay,” said Spike uncertainly, but pulled a roll of paper and a quill from somewhere. “What for?”

“Trixie says she wants me to think of ways to promote her, right?” said Twilight with a thoughtful look. “Well, I might have a few ideas….”

A few short minutes later, Trixie walked out of Joe’s Donuts with her smoothie in hoof, slurping her drink with a contented sigh.

“Ah, extra hay, just the way Trixie likes it,” said Trixie.

“Trixie!” Twilight suddenly yelled, thrusting herself into Trixie’s personal space so fast, the showmare jumped and nearly dropped her smoothie. “Good news! I found some work for you!”

“You did?” Trixie asked, surprised.

“I know you wanted me to wait for you,” Twilight explained, “but I wanted to get a head start on being your manager. So I asked around and promoted you like you said. There are a bunch of ponies who are interested in hiring you for several social events, including Fancy Part’s garden party. A lot of ponies are really interested in getting to meet one of the Mane 6 who saved Equestria from Daybreaker.”

“Wait, seriously?” Trixie gasped excitedly. “Twilight, that’s amazing! I need to start thinking about which act to go with. Maybe the Saddle Arabian rope climbing trick or maybe the Vanhoover disappearing box act. When does the party start?"

“In twenty minutes!” Twilight answered happily.

“…huh?” Trixie gaped, dumbfounded.

Twilight nodded her head back at Spike, who rolled his eyes and then unfurled the scroll he was holding. Trixie’s jaw dropped as she watched the scroll slide past her hoofs and continued for ten more hooves. Twilight levitated the start of the list in front of her and said aloud:

“Then you are providing entertainment for Fleur-de-Lis’s tea time social ten minutes after that, followed by Jet Set and Upper Crust’s weekly get-togethers. And I know the Wonderbolts were looking forward to seeing your performance again after what happened in the Everfree Forest, so I set some time directly after Jet Set and Upper Crust’s event. Then you’re scheduled to make a a special guest appearance at the Canterlot historical society, an autograph signing at the House of Enchanted Comics, a photo shoot with Photo Finish at the Canterlot Carousel, and you will be hosting at Golden Gavel’s auction house. I set each event twenty minutes apart so that there’s room for schedule changes. Oh, and don’t worry about lunch and dinner. I’ve scheduled an interview with the Pony Press at Cinnamon Chai’s Tea and Cake Shop and a dinner meeting with Prince Blueblood.”

Trixie stared at Twilight…then down at her oat smoothie…then back at Joe’s Donut’s…then back at Twilight again, all without blinking.

“Trixie was only in there for five minutes…” Trixie said in a soft, mystified voice.

“Yah, I didn’t even get to do half the things I wanted,” said Twilight. “But don’t worry; this is only today’s schedule. Wait until you see what I have planned out for the rest of the week. Tomorrow, you’ll – “

“Twilight, she’s gone,” Spike cut in.

The lavender mare raised her head in time to see the last wisps of Trixie’s patented smoke bomb disappear. She noticed there was something on the ground. It was a folded note with Trixie’s Cutie Mark on it. Spike hopped down from Twilight’s flank, picked it up, and looked inside.

“What’s it say?” Twilight asked.

“You’re fired,” Spike answered plainly.

“Thought that’s what it said,” Twilight said grumpily.





Evenings in the Canterlot Restaurant Row was its busiest time of the day, filled with rich ponies dining at three-hoof establishments even though the food was bland and flavorless. This is where Twilight found herself, leaning her head around the corner of a restaurant called “The Smoked Oat” with Tempest Shadow above her and Grubber below her. All three of them were watching the various rich ponies walking up and down the streets with their noses turned up and harping on about whatever in snooty tones. Were Canterlot ponies always this stuck-up, Twilight wondered.

“I’m surprised you were interested in joining Grubber and I on our regular patrol,” Tempest said to Twilight.

“Well, after I pretty much failed at every other job, you were the last friend I had left,” Twilight admitted dreadfully. “At this point, I’m willing to give anything a try.”

“Trust me, you’re gonna love being a thief,” Grubber assured giddily. “You get to decide your own hours, the wages are pretty good depending on who you fleece, and you get to be your own boss – “

“Shut it, Grubber,” said Tempest.

“Yes, boss!” Grubber saluted.

“Since this is your first time on the job, I’ll give you a few pointers,” said Tempest. “Rule number one on being a successfully thief: know how to pick your targets. Do you know why we’re at Restaurant Row in the evening?”

“…Because you skipped lunch?” Twilight answered cautiously.

“No - well, yes - but no," said Tempest, sahking her head. It's because that’s when it’s filled with rich ponies looking to flaunt their wealth. Out of all the places I’ve been in Equestria, the ponies in Canterlot are the easiest marks I’ve ever seen. They have no sense of awareness. They think that just because they live in the shadow of their princess that it’ll keep them safe, so they completely leave themselves wide open for stealing. I could swipe their purses right in front of them and they wouldn’t even notice.”

“Oh, come on, they can’t be that bad,” Twilight argued.

Tempest scoffed amusingly and gestured a hoof at Grubber. The pudgy hedgehog saluted and waddled across the street.

There was a pack of three mares that were unnecessarily overdressed in stuffy formal gowns and big, feathery hats. Grubber nonchalantly walked up to their table and waved at the mares; they didn’t even bat an eye in his direction, talking animatedly about something. Grubber snorted as he swiped all three of their purses off the table and walked away, but the mares still didn’t notice anything wrong. He waddled back to Twilight and Tempest; the latter giving her partner a high-hoof.

“I stand corrected,” Twilight admitted.

“It’s easy once you get the hang of it,” said Tempest, looking around. “Now, let’s find you a good mark…. Ah, he’ll do.”

She pointed a hoof at a haughty-looking stallion standing in the middle of a pack of other rich ponies, all of whom laughed in a snooty way. He stood out among the other ponies with his expensive sunglasses, his perfectly coiffed mane, and the stuffy collar and cufflinks that adorned his person.

“That’s Hoity Toity!” Twilight gasped. “He’s a major representative in the fashion world!”

“How do you know that?” Tempest asked strangely.

“My mom has a whole stack of magazines about his clothes,” Twilight answered dryly.

“With a name like that, the guy’s just begging to be robbed,” Grubber snickered.

“Okay, you’ve got this, Twilight,” said Tempest, giving her a confident shove forward. “He’s distracted right now, so he won’t see you coming. Just blend in with the crowd and swiping his bits when his head is turned the other way. But don’t go too fast, or he’ll notice something is up. Just try to act like you belong.”

“Should I be taking notes?” Twilight asked apprehensively. “I feel like I should be taking notes.”

“You’ll be fine,” Tempest waved her off. “Now go.”

Twilight certainly didn’t feel fine. But Tempest was going out of her way to help Twilight, so the least she could do was give it her very best. The Lavender unicorn took a deep, calming breath, centered herself, and marched forward with purpose. She approached the crowd and – 





CLANG!

Twilight winced as the cell door slammed in her face, the police pony in charge giving her a dirty look before walking over to his desk. The lavender mare gulped loudly and chanced a peek to her right. Tempest and Grubber were standing stock still, looking forward with blank stares. Twilight rubbed the back of her head, giggling nervously.

“So um…that didn’t go well,” said Twilight apprehensively.

“No, it did not,” said Tempest blandly, turning her head slowly. “Word of advice, Twilight: Next time you try to steal from somepony, don’t tell the pony your stealing from.”

“I’m sorry, I panicked!” Twilight cried. “I’ve never stolen anything before!”

“Well, did you have to tell them where we were hiding, too?” Grubber complained.

“Hey, quiet down over there, I’m trying to work over here!” the police pony shouted. There was a messy pile of folders littered on his desk and it looks like Twilight, Tempest, and Grubber were the latest addition to the heap. “Ugh, it’s gonna take me forever to get all this organized.”

A lightbulb suddenly went off in Twilight’s head. The lavender mare pressed herself against the bars and said to the officer, “Excuse me, sir.”

“Yeah, whaddya want?” The officer grumbled.

“I willing to make a deal with you,” Twilight offered. “I’m pretty good at catalogue and organizing things. If I handle all your paperwork, will you let me and my friends go?"

The police pony looked at Twilight, genuinely considering her offer, as he looked between his ever-growing pile and the lavender mare.

Fast forward twenty minutes and Twilight, Tempest, and Grubber were spotted leaving the police station; Twilight waving back at the delighted cop.

“Thanks for handling all my invoices, Twilight,” the officer said gratefully.

“No problem,” Twilight replied cheerfully. “Just remember the filing system I showed you, and you’ll never have to worry about organizing again.” The police pony tipped his hat and walked back inside. Twilight smiled brightly until she rounded to Tempest and Grubber, both looking very displeased. “….I’m fired, aren’t I?”

“Eeyup,” said Tempest shortly.

Meanwhile, a large red stallion was glaring at Tempest from a distance.





Princess Luna had already raised the moon for the night when Twilight and Spike returned to the castle. The baby dragon was lying flat across Twilight’s back in exhaustion, which was unfair in Twilight’s opinion since she was the one doing all the work. But the lavender unicorn kept her opinion to herself, sighing tiredly as she followed Sunset Shimmer down the hall to the sleeping quarters at a snail’s pace. Dear Luna, her hooves were tired….

Sunset stopped so suddenly Twilight nearly bumped into her flank. They were standing outside a pair of ornate double doors with a piece of paper taped on the front. The paper had Twilight’s Cutie Mark drawn crudely in crayon; Twilight didn’t ask who made the picture, suspicious of who it may be. Sunset used her horn to push the doors open and gestured Twilight inside.

If Twilight weren’t so exhausted, she would’ve been impressed by the sheer size of the chamber; it looked big enough to fit two of Twilight’s old bedrooms back-to-back. The chamber was pretty bare, only having the essentials: a queen size bed, an ornate dresser with a vanity mirror, and a polished mahogany desk tucked away in the corner. They even put in a little basket next to the bed for Spike.

“You can use this room for as long as you like,” said Sunset as they crossed the room. “The royal guard will bringing your stuff over from your house tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Sunset,” said Twilight gratefully. She walked up the bedside basket, levitated Spike off her flank, and tucked the little dragon in. “I promise I’ll pay you and Princess Luna back for this one day.”

“Princess Luna says you’ve already repaid her by bringing back Princess Celestia, so don’t sweat it,” said Sunset, waving a hoof nonchalantly. “By the way, I saw Tempest and Grubber heading to their rooms earlier. Tempest was a little grumpy…er than usual. I take it the thief gig didn’t work out?”

“I got us thrown in jail,” Twilight admitted embarrassingly.

“Oof! She’s gonna be ticked at your for a while,” said Sunset, wincing sympathetically.

“She’s not the only one,” said Twilight, groaning as she climbed into bed. “I gave Moon Dancer’s boss a heart attack, Professor Inkwell is just one step away from banning from Princess Luna’s school, and no one can find Trixie. It’s just been one failure after another.”

“So, what’re you gonna do now?” asked Sunset, concerned. “You’re not going to give up, are you?”

“What? No, of course not,” said Twilight, looking at Sunset like she had just said two plus two equaled fish. “I don’t give up that easily. I’m determined to find a suitable job so that I can support myself like a grown pony should.”

“At least you’ve still got your fighting spirit,” said Sunset, slightly relieved. “So what’re you gonna do tomorrow, Twilight?”

“I’m glad you asked, Sunset,” said Twilight

Twilight’s horn lit up and levitated several sheets of papers from her saddlebag, floating them in the air around Sunset’s head. The sunny mare’s eyes roamed over them curiously. They were all timetables with color-coded markers and tiny notes written in each square. Sunset realized as she examined the rows that just one sheet was a complete schedule of the entire coming week.

“I’ve planned it all out,” Twilight explained proudly. “Tomorrow, I’ll try out for the mail delivery service from 8:00 A.M. until noon, then I’ll try working at Joe’s Donut’s from 1:00 P.M to 5 P.M. From there, I’ll try working as a waitress at DJ Pon-3’s dance club from 6:00 P.M. to 10 P.M. I’ve left a few hours in between jobs to give myself an adjustment period. If none of those jobs work out, I have another three planned for the following day. And if those don't work out, I've made plans to repeat this pattern for the next four weeks until I find something that suits me.”

“Wow, this is incredibly detailed,” said Sunset, thoroughly impressed as she took the schedule with her horn.

“Thanks,” said Twilight, grinning. “If there’s one thing I’m proud of, it’s my organizational skills.”

“Well, I guess I should let you get to sleep; you apparently have a big day tomorrow,” said Sunset. She trotted to the door, paused at the threshold, and looked back at Twilight as she tucked herself in. “Good night, Twilight.”

“Good night, Sunset,” Twilight answered with a wide yawn.

Sunset used her horn to dim the lights and closed the door behind her.

The sunny mare was still looking over Twilight packed schedule, commenting on her impressively organized it was, when Princess Luna appeared around the corner. The moon goddess looked especially haggard this evening; the dark circles were prominent under her eyes and her starry mane somehow appeared duller.

“Good evening, Princess Luna,” Sunset greeted with a polite bow.

“Huh? Oh, good evening, Sunset Shimmer,” said Luna, looking momentarily stupefied before realizing her student was there.

“I take it things didn’t go so well with the mayors?” asked Sunset, looking sympathetically up at her teacher.

“I managed to convince them to put it off for another time,” Luna explained with a tired sigh and a hoof to her head, “But I fear I’m going to have to organize it. I’m not sure I can trust Timetable with something this important again.”

“You would think somepony with a name like Timetable would know how to work a schedule,” Sunset commented teasingly.

“You would think,” Luna grimaced. “But I don’t know what to do. It’s not like there’s anypony else around to replace him.”

Sunset took a momentary pause as something clicked in her brain. She looked down at Twilight’s extremely packed, but well organized plans for the next four weeks and smiled.

“Excuse me, Princess Luna, but if I might make a suggestion….,” said Sunset.





The following morning, Princess Luna stretched her wings with a contented sigh, trotting down the hall leisurely after raising the sun for the day. She was on her way to the dining hall when she spotted Twilight Sparkle standing off to the side of the corridor. The lavender mare was taking a quill to a lengthy piece of scroll with gusto, her tongue sticking out in concentration as she scribbled something down and scratched another off. Twilight’s head perked up when she heard the princess’s hoofsteps and bounced up like the floor had been electrified.

“Good morning, Princess Luna!” Twilight greet enthusiastically, cantering alongside her.

“Good morning, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna returned the greeting kindly. “I see your eager to get started today.”

“You bet I am!” Twilight answered with a giddy smile, levitating the scroll ahead of her. “I was hoping we could go over the schedule for today before finalizing anything.”

“You can tell me on the way to breakfast,” said Princess Luna delightfully. “I hear Chase Palomino is making his famous jelly tarts this morning.”

“Of course, your majesty,” said Twilight with a polite bow. “After breakfast, you’ll be having your daily meeting with Shining Armor from 9 A.M to 10 A.M., followed by – “
> The Ticket Master
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twilight Sparkle trotted down the halls of the royal palace with Sunset Shimmer while Spike was casually sitting in her saddlebag, noisily eating his way through a bag of apples they took from the kitchens and nonchalantly tossing the cores on the floor. Twilight paid the baby dragon no mind as she was focused on the detailed schedule floating in front of her, making a few corrections here and there. It had been several days since she had been hired as Princess Luna’s aide and the lavender mare had been doing quite well for herself (she at least lasted longer than the other jobs.)

“Looks like you’ve been making yourself at home, Twilight,” said Sunset. “Princess Luna was just telling me yesterday that she’s never felt more at ease since you started managing her day-to-day schedule. I think she actually got three hours of sleep last night – a true princess holiday.”

“It’s no problem at all, Sunset Shimmer,” said Twilight, grinning proudly. “I love putting my organizational skills to good use, especially if it helps the princess. And according to her schedule, Princess Luna should be meeting the mayors of Baltimare and Fillyddelphia for the next three hours. Let me tell you, it wasn’t easy getting those two in.”

“Well, I think the princess can handle herself for now,” said Sunset. “It should be about lunchtime. All that hard work is bound to make a pony hungry.”

“I know, right?” said Spike, casually tossing an apple core that bounced off Twilight’s head, earning a sharp glare from the mare.

“Oh, puh-lease, Spike,” said Twilight, rolling her eyes. “You’ve been lounging on my back all morning while I worked.”

“Exactly,” said Spike, nodding. “You were taking so long, I missed snack time.”

And at that same moment, Spike buried his claw into the bag and pulled out a big, shiny red apple that practically sparkled in the sunlight coming through the tall windows. Twilight stomach made a big gurgling noise, to which Sunset Shimmer stared with a raised brow; Twilight chuckled sheepishly. The lavender mare was about to ask politely if he could share one of his apples when the baby dragon ate the whole thing in one bite, spraying Twilight’s mane in juices. And to add insult to injury, Spike casually tossed the apple bag, which was apparently now empty.

“Spike!” Twilight complained.

“What? Did you want one?” Spike asked innocently.

Sunset Shimmer turned her head and hid her laughter behind her hoof; Twilight grumbled.

A moment later, the mares and baby dragon perked their heads when they heard sound of flapping wings getting closer. They looked ahead to see a light-blue Pegasus dressed in regal attire flying toward them and landed. The Pegasus reached into his saddlebag, pulled out a little bugle, and played a little fanfare while Twilight and Sunset exchanged awkward glances. The Pegasus put away the bugle and pulled out a scroll next, clearing his throat before he began reading aloud:

“Hear ye, hear ye. Her Grand Royal Highness, Princess Luna of Equestria, is pleased to announce the Grand Galloping Gala to be held in the magnificent capital city of Canterlot, on the 21st day of – “

“Uh, could you move it along, Fanfare?” Sunset interrupted, grinning sheepishly. “We’re kinda in a hurry to get to lunch.”

Fanfare rolled his eyes, grumbling under his breath, and rushed ahead to the end of the lengthy scroll.

“Yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda,” Fanfare mumbled. “Oh, here we go: Princess Luna cordially extends an invitation to Sunset Shimmer plus one guest.”

“The Grand Galloping Gala!” Twilight gasped delightfully, stretching a smile from ear-to-ear with her hooves to her cheeks. 

“Here’s two tickets,” said Fanfare, handing Sunset two slips of shiny golden paper. “You know, I’ve never been invited to the Grand Galloping Gala before.”

“Huh, too bad,” said Sunset uninterestingly.

Fanfare smiled at Sunset Shimmer, hoping that she would get the hint, but she only returned it was a bored look. Once realizing that he wasn’t going to be invited, Fanfare frowned and flew away dejectedly. 

“Sunset, you’ve been invited to the Grand Galloping Gala!” Twilight breathed cheerfully.

“Yeah, I know,” said Sunset unenthusiastically. “I’ve been going for the past three years. It’s not as great as ponies make it out to be.”

“Not that great?!” Twilight yelped, jumping so fast into Sunset’s personal space, the sunny mare fell onto her back. “Are you kidding me?! The Grand Galloping Gala is only the greatest social event of the year. Not only do the richest and most influential ponies get invited, but it’s also a meeting of the greatest minds in all of Equestria. Including…Rosetta Nebula!”

“Uh…who?”

“Some star scientist that Twilight has a crush on,” explained Spike.

“She’s an astrophysicist!” Twilight snapped, making Spike fall out of her bag with a yelp. “And I don’t have a crush on her. I have a healthy respect for her. Her paper on the wavelengths of astronomical bodies affecting the flow of magic in unicorns changed my life. She is one of the most brilliant ponies in the entire world. If I had a chance to meet her just once, we could talk about all sorts of things from the secrets of the universe to the origins of magic itself. Maybe we could even discuss the Elements of Harmony, like where they came from or who created them. Can you just imagine?”

“I’m imagining it, all right,” said Spike with an exaggerated yawn. “I’m imagining a good long nap.”

“Oh, hush, you,” Twilight bopped him on the head lightly. “I’d give my entire collection of magical grimoires to go to the gala. Even that Necronomicon I found in the bargain bin at the antique shop.”

“Oh, well in that case, would you like to – “ Sunset started.

Without warning, a gray blur flew down the hall and slammed into Twilight, tossing her to the floor in a daze. It took a moment for Sunset to realize that the projectile used to knock out her friend was Grubber. The pudgy hedgehog’s eyes swirled slowly as he muttered, “I’m…o…kay….” That’s when Tempest Shadow casually walked to Sunset, and nudged her in the flank in an out-of-character friendly manner.

“Hey there, Sunset,” Tempest greeted casually. “You wouldn’t happen to be talking about the Grand Galloping Gala, would you?”

“Tempest, what’re you doing here?” asked Sunset curiously. “I thought you and Grubber would be out stealing candy from foals or something.”

“Number one: we may be thieves, but we’re not monsters,” said Tempest, frowning disapprovingly. “And number two: Grubber and I were trying to break into the royal treasury.” She turned sideways, showing off a dozen arrows sticking out of her flank; Sunset did a doubletake. “It did not go well. Anyway, I couldn’t help but overhear that you had an extra ticket for the gala.”

“Yeah,” said Sunset cautiously. “But why would you be interested in the gala? You don’t strike me as the fancy party type.”

“Oh, I don’t want to party,” Tempest chuckled amusingly. “The Princess of Love, Princess Cadence, always gets invited to the Grand Galloping Gala every year. And rumor has it, that it’s the one time of the year where she wears the fabled Ruby Heart – the biggest ruby in all of Equestria. That one jewel is worth billions of bits. And if I got my hooves on it, Grubber and I could buy our own kingdom and retire to a life of luxury.”

“So you want me to invite you to the gala so that you can steal an expensive gemstone from a princess?” said Sunset with an unimpressive look.

“Exactly,” Tempest said proudly, raising a hoof. “Now I’ll just be taking that ticket and – “

Sunset jumped back as Tempest was plowed into the wall after having Grubber thrown into her at full force. The broken-horned mare shook the daze from her eyes and tossed Grubber aside uncaringly as she crossed glares with Twilight Sparkle, her horn flaring up with magic.

“Now hold one gosh darn minute there, Tempest Shadow!” Twilight snapped. “I asked for that ticket first!”

“And your point is?” Tempest challenged.

“That I should get to be the one to go to the Grand Galloping Gala!” said Twilight. “Unlike you, I’m not planning on causing an inter-kingdom incident by fleecing the princess!”

“No, you just want to waste Sunset’s precious time by talking to a stuffy old space nerd all night,” Tempest scoffed.

“She’s an astrophysicist!” Twilight howled.

“Uh, shouldn’t you stop them?” Spike asked Sunset as the mares argued back and forth.

“I kinda wanna see where this goes,” Sunset admitted.

“I’m the one that should be going to the Grand Galloping Gala,” Twilight declared firmly. “Not only did I ask her first, but I’m also Princess Luna’s royal aide and Sunset Shimmer’s first friend. That makes me more qualified to attend the gala than you.”

“You have a fair point,” Tempest admitted nonchalantly, taking Twilight aback. “Allow me to propose a counterargument.”

Tempest tilted her head down, pointing her broken stub of a horn at Twilight’s face, and blasted the lavender mare with a burst of electricity. Twilight was shot across the hall, smacked into the wall, and slid down into a slump, covered from hoof to horn in soot.

Sunset and Spike stared with dropped jaws; they didn’t think it would escalate that quickly.

Twilight wiped her face clean with her hoof and glared across the corridor. Tempest grinned and waved her hoof in a challenging gesture. The lavender mare growled, hopping to her hooves, and blasted an energy beam of violet-colored magic that knocked Tempest off the ground. The broken-horned unicorn was tossed across the floor like a ragdoll, plopping on her belly with her entire body smoking. Tempest grimaced as she raised her head and leered at Twilight, who returned Tempest’s earlier condescending smirk with one of her own.

Tempers (and horns) were flaring. Twilight and Tempest charged their magic, snorting and dragging their hooves across the floor like a pair of angry bulls. They rushed forward with matching battle cries. Sunset and Spike held each other tight as the pair met in the middle – 

BOOM!

Sunset Shimmer and Spike were launched through the tall windows following the magical explosion that erupted in the middle of the hall and plowed into the courtyard below. Luckily, they were able to land in the nice, soft grass. Sunset spat out the few blades that got in her mouth and looked back at the castle. Bursts of magic were exploding everywhere, blasting off entire sections of the palace. A broken piece of wall flew out and crashed into the ground beside Spike; the baby dragon shrieked and clung to Sunset for security.

“…Maybe we should leave them alone for a while,” said Sunset.

“Good idea,” Spike nodded in agreement.

The pair walked away slowly, pretending not to see a section of the roof get blown off.





Sunset strolled through uptown Canterlot at a leisurely pace with Spike riding on her back, despite not giving him permission. Based on the lack of deafening booms coming from the castle, Sunset could assume that Twilight and Tempest have either settled the matter, or Princess Luna settled it for them.

“So, who’re you going to give the ticket to, Sunset?” Spike asked.

“I have no idea, Spike,” said Sunset with an exasperated sigh. “If I had a choice, I’d give them both the tickets. The Grand Galloping Gala isn’t that great. But Princess Luna invited me personally, so I’m expected to show up.”

“Yeah, tough break,” said Spike.

“Hey, Spike, aren’t you going to ask to go to the Grand Galloping Gala?” Sunset asked curiously.

“No way!” said Spike, making a gagging noise. “I don't want any of that girly frilly frou-frou nonsense.”

“Heh, that’s a relief,” Sunset chuckled lightly. “At least there’s one pony I don’t have to worry about tackling me for these dumb tickets – “

The pair had unknowingly been walking past Trixie’s wagon, which had been parked outside the Canterlot library today, when the wagon door blew open and they were blasted by a fizzy geyser. Sunset and Spike were thrown to the ground, dazed and sticky, when they realized something was lying on top on them. Trixie rose to her flank, mumbled incoherently, and shook her head free of the dizziness as she glanced back at her dripping wagon.

“So that’s why Potion Nova always said never to mix mint stones with carbonated beverages,” Trixie said like she had an epiphany. “Lesson learned. Oh, hey, Sunset Shimmer. Hey, Spike.” She added when she noticed the pair below her.

“Hey, Trixie,” Sunset groaned. “Mind getting off of us?”

The blue showmare hopped up and offered a courteous hoof to Sunset Shimmer. Unfortunately, that’s when Sunset’s tickets floated to the ground and Trixie was the first to notice them.

“You dropped something, Sun – “ Trixie breathed a long, overdramatic gasp as she pointed a shaky hoof at the tickets. “Are – are those tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala?”

“Oh no,” Sunset muttered quietly.

“The Grand Galloping Gala is the greatest stage in all of Equestria!” Trixie squealed with glee. “Every magician dreams of performing at the grand Galloping Gala! A place where the kingdom’s elite will be dazzled by Trixie’s spectacular magic routine! The audience will be so impressed by Trixie’s show, ponies from the six corners of the kingdom will flock to Trixie in droves, begging her to perform for them! From Whinnyapolis and San Franciscolt, to Bitsburgh and Horsolulu! Trixie will become the most famous stage magician in all the lands!”

“Uh, Trixie…,” Sunset tried to speak, but Trixie cut her off with a life-threatening hug.

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Sunset Shimmer, for this fabulous gift!” Trixie shouted joyfully. “I know Starlight Glimmer is the Element of Generosity, but it means so much that you would give these to Trixie!”

“Um, actually…,” Sunset stammered awkwardly.

While Sunset was trying to defuse the situation, Spike grabbed the tickets off the ground. Unfortunately, who so happened to be passing by and spy the tickets in Spike’s claws than Starlight Glimmer. The lilac mare gasped, and Spike cringed inwardly for failing to hide them in time.

“Are those what I think they are?” asked Starlight hopefully.

“Uh – “ Sunset.exe has stopped working.

“Yes, yes, yes!” Trixie squealed. “Sunset Shimmer is taking Trixie to the Grand Galloping Gala!”

“The gala?” Starlight gasped. “I’ve heard about the Grand Galloping Gala ever since I was a foal in Sire’s Hollow. Ponies of great respect and renown gathering together for a night of culture and glamour. I’ve always wanted to attend just once. And it could be that’s where I’ll finally see…him.”

“Yes, him!” Trixie cheered…then blinked in confusion. “Who’s him?”

“My foalhood friend, Sunburst,” said Starlight giddily. “As a great mage, he’s bound to have been invited to the Grand Galloping Gala to share his knowledge with his peers. Isn’t that right, Sunset?”

“Well, I never met him personally,” said Sunset, tapping her muzzle thoughtfully. “But if he’s as great as you say he is, then it might be true.”

“It is,” said Starlight with a whimsical smile. “He’s going to be at the gala, where we will finally be reunited. I can just picture it now: I would stroll through the gala, making polite conversation with everypony, when I notice that a large group of ponies are gathered together. I ask myself, “What could they find so fascinating?” And when I go to look, I find that the one holding everypony’s attention is none other than Sunburst. He looks around the crowd, and then – our eyes meet. Recognition follows. He'll wade through the crowd to reach me, and he would take by the hoof and spirit me away. We will spend the night talking, laughing and reminiscing about old times. Then, Sunburst would invite me to stay by his side, and the two of us would spend the rest of our days together….”

“Sounds like the making of a romance novel,” Sunset commented.

“Whaaaat! Nooo,” Starlight scoffed, though her cheeks were tingled pink. “I haven’t seen Sunburst since I was a foal. There’s no – phht – romance or anything.”

“Uh-huh,” Sunset replied in a disbelieving tone.

“Well, it doesn’t matter, because Sunset Shimmer already invited Trixie to the gala,” said Trixie proudly.

“Sunset, please tell me this isn’t true,” said Starlight, getting all up in Sunset’s face. What is it with mares invading her personal space today? “I can’t believe you would invite Trixie to the Grand Galloping Gala so she can – phht – do magic tricks. If anyone deserves to go, it’s me. Isn’t reuniting me with Sunburst a more worthwhile goal?”

“Hey! Do you know how hard Trixie has had to work to perfect her act?!” Trixie snapped, pointing a hoof at Starlight. “Not that I would expect you to know the meaning of hard work.”

“Excuse me?” Starlight gasped.

“It must be sooo nice, Miss Magic Prodigy,” Trixie scoffed, turning away from Starlight with her hooves crossed. “Never actually having to put any effort into doing anything.”

“Hey, I work just as hard as any other pony!” Starlight snapped.

Sunset grimaced as she watched Trixie and Starlight exchange barbs like a dangerous game of tennis. Spike was so enraptured by the scene, he didn’t notice somepony sneaking up on him until they ripped the tickets out of his hands.

“Hey!” Spike yelped.

Moon Dancer levitated the tickets in front of her, readjusting her glasses for a better look. She gasped delightfully and said, “Oh my goodness, I can’t believe it.”

Meanwhile, Sunset had to physically separate Trixie and Starlight before a fight broke out.

“Listen, girls, I haven't decided who to give the extra ticket to,” Sunset explained.

“You haven’t?!” Trixie and Starlight cried; the former in dismay and the latter hopeful.

“A-hem, excuse me, Sunset,” Moon Dancer cleared her throat to get everypony’s attention. “If you haven’t decided who you were going to take to the gala, I was hoping that – “

“You?” Trixie said suspiciously, pressing a hoof into Moon Dancer’s chest. “You want to go to the Grand Galloping Gala? Why?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Moon Dancer replied with a whimsical smile. “I may not care much for fancy parties or the sophisticated atmosphere. But what I do care about is magic. As you ponies already know, I’m one of the rare few ponies with the natural affinity for Moon Magic and I want to learn everything I can about it. And there is one pony who always attends the Grand Galloping Gala that can teach me everything I need to know: Princess Luna. The princess is always so busy with her daily schedule that she never has time to talk to ponies like me. But if I go to the Gala, we could spend all night learning about Moon Magic together. It would be a dream come true.”

“Wow, Moon Dancer, I guess I never gave any thought about you wanting to learn Moon Magic since I’m a Sun Magic user myself.” Said Sunset thoughtfully. “I guess you could – “

“Whoa, whoa, wait just a minute!”

Everypony snapped their heads down the road to see Tempest and Grubber heading their way. Oddly enough, on top of her usual dark cloak, she was also wearing an orange hard hat and a toolbelt strapped around her flank; Grubber was wearing a matching set.

“Tempest?” said Sunset strangely. “What’s with the getup?”

“Princess Luna scolded Twilight and I and made us fix the castle,” Tempest explained shortly, quickly throwing off the hat and belt. “But never mind that. You can’t give any of them the ticket away to just anypony.”

As if on cue, Twilight Sparkle popped up beside Tempest in a flash of purple, also wearing a hard hat and toolbelt. 

“Now wait just a minute!” she shouted, pointing an accusing hoof at Tempest.

“Twilight?!” Sunset gapped. “Have you two been following me this whole time?”

“No – I mean, yes – I mean, maybe,” Twilight sputtered. “It’s whatever. I’m just trying to make sure that Tempest doesn’t try to trick you into giving her my ticket.”

“Your ticket?” said Starlight heatedly.

“Sunset Shimmer is taking Trixie!” Trixie declared loudly.

Sunset could only watch in horror as her friends started closing in from all sides, shouting at the top of their lungs as to why they deserved the ticket more. Spike had been smart enough to back away from the mares and ducked for cover behind a mailbox, but poor Sunset was caught in the middle. The sunny mare lowered herself onto the ground onto her belly, her hooves pressing down on her ears to block out the noise. But she could still hear their shouts rattling around in her brain. Anxiety gave way to irritation; Sunset’s entire form trembling with building frustration until she finally exploded.

“EVERYPONY SHUT UP!!!”

The wielders of the Elements jumped away in a fright, gazing wide-eyed at Sunset as she heaved roughly, her eyes bulging and her mane disheveled.

“Geez, Sunset Shimmer, you don’t have to be so rude,” Trixie commented.

Sunset took a deep breath through her nose, exhaled through her mouth, brushed down her mane, and said, “Listen, girls, there’s no point in arguing over it.”

“But Sunset – “ Starlight started to complain.

“Nyet!” Sunset snapped, flailing a hoof over Starlight’s mouth. “This is my decision, and I'm gonna make it on my own, and I certainly can't think straight with all this noise. So please, do me a favor, and leave me alone!”

The mares were obviously displeased with this decision, but any further arguing would hurt their chance for the ticket. The carriers of the Elements walked away slowly, grumbling under their breaths while shooting stink eyes at their opposition.

Seeing that the situation had defused, Spike walked out from his hiding place and asked Sunset, “So what’re you going to do?”

“I DON’T KNOW!” Sunset cried, flailing to the ground with her hooves over her eyes.





Cinnamon Chai's Tea and Cake Shop was a refuge for Sunset Shimmer during her most stressful days as Princess Luna’s apprentice, and now it had become a safe haven from her friends. She was sitting at her usual reserved table outside across from Spike, who was more absorbed by the menu options rather than the mare slumped over the table.

“Ugh, what am I gonna do, Spike?” Sunset groaned. “I have four ponies who have really good reason for wanting to go to the gala – and Tempest, who's very scary when she’s mad. Do I take Twilight and help her meet her idol? Or let Trixie fulfill dream of performing? Or should I let Starlight reunite with her foalhood friend? But then there’s Moon Dancer, who really wants to learn from Princess Luna…. Oh, who should I go with?”

The shop’s waitstaff walked up to their table and asked politely, “Have you made your decision?”

“I CAN’T DECIDE!” Sunset screamed outrageously, drawing the eye of every pony on the street.

“Uh, Sunset, he just wants to take your order,” Spike said calmly.

“Oh,” said Sunset in realization, smiling sheepishly. “I’ll have the usual black forest cherry set with jasmine.”

“Do you have anything with gems in it?” Spike asked, earning a quirked brow from the waiter. “No? All right, I’ll have the strawberry shortcake with extra strawberries.”

“So what do you think, Spike?” Sunset asked the baby dragon desperately as the waiter cantered back inside.

“I think we oughta try another place,” Spike complained. “I mean, I love cake as much as the next dragon, but would it hurt anypony to offer some gemstones.”

“Not that!” Sunset snapped, slamming her hoofs on the table in emphasis. “I’m talking about the gala and the ticket and who I should go with.”

“Oh, you’re still on about that?” Spike rolled his eyes with a bored hum.

“You know, the more time I spend with you, the less I like you,” said Sunset bluntly.

“That’s fair,” Spike shrugged nonchalantly.

“Can we be serious for a moment?” Sunset groaned. “Just for a minute, please? How am I supposed to choose between my best (and so far only) friends in the whole world? No matter who I choose, the other four are still going to be mad at me. I don’t want to disappoint Twilight, Starlight, or Moon Dancer, and I’m afraid Trixie will try to sneak in anyway, and I’m just plain afraid of Tempest. How do I – “

“Your food, Madame,” said the waiter, who sounded strikingly different than before.

“Oh, thank you so – wait, what?” Sunset blinked. Her usual order of jasmine tea had arrived just fine, but it was surrounded by not only her slice of black forest cherry cake, but also slices of carrot cake, poundcake, vanilla cake, coconut cake, and at least a dozen others. “Er…excuse me, but I didn’t order – Tempest?”

The sunny mare looked up and saw the familiar scar and broken horn of Tempest Shadow, who had slicked back her mane and put on the fancy uniform the waitstaff was wearing. If Sunset wasn’t still reeling from the strangeness of the scene, she would have thought, in her honest opinion, that Tempest looked quite dashing.

“Would the Madame care for anything else?” Tempest asked in a smooth accent that would make anypony swoon.

“Uh, Tempest, what’re you doing?” Sunset asked strangely, fighting back the pleasant shiver that rolled up her spine. Since when was Tempest so suave? “What happened to the other waiter?”

“Oh, he got a little…tied up,” said Tempest. “And I thought it would be wrong for the most beautiful, most elegant, and most generous pony to have to wait for so long to receive her sweets. So I decided to fill in for the moment, and I threw in a little something extra. You know, because I’m nice like that.”

“…the waiter’s tied up in the broom closet, isn’t he?” asked Sunset blandly.

“You can’t prove anything,” Tempest said quickly.

“Tempest,” Sunset spoke in a suspicious tone, “you wouldn’t happen to be acting uncharacteristically nice so you can get your hoof on the extra ticket, would you?”

“Whaaaat?” Tempest said, pretending to be shocked. “No, no, of course not. I’m just being nice is all.”

“Since when are you nice to anypony?” Sunset asked point-blank.

Tempest opened her mouth, paused, then muttered under her breath, “Yeah, okay, you have a point there.”

“I am not going to be bribed into giving you my extra ticket, Tempest,” Sunset declared with her chin held high. “So you can just forget it.”

In retrospect, Sunset wished she would have at least taken a bite of her cake before she said anything. Tempest was not at all pleased with her answer and bucked the table over, splattering the cakes and tea all over the street. Spike let out a disappointed whine while Tempest walked away with a huff, shouting inside the café, “Grubber, we’re leaving!” And the pudgy hedgehog waddled out of the café a moment later, dressed in a chef’s outfit for some reason.

Sunset buried her face in her hooves, groaning. Her private sanctuary – defiled. Her cake and tea – ruined. Her overall day – getting worse by the second. What could possibly make this day worse?

“Oh, Sunset, I didn’t know you would be here!”

Sunset dragged her hooves down her face with a grimace. She craned her head slowly, unsurprised to see Starlight Glimmer standing a few feet away, levitating a bunch of kites beside her.

“What a funny coincidence running into you here,” said Starlight delightfully.

“Yeah, coincidence,” said Sunset with an unimpressed stare.

“I was just about to go fly some kites and I just happen to have some extra,” said Starlight, gesturing at the items. “Would you like to join me?”

“Hmm…,” Sunset hummed, thinking for a moment. “Well…that does actually sound kind of relaxing…. Sure, why not?”

“Great!” Starlight cheered. “I know the perfect spot!”





Sunset had to admit, this wasn’t so bad. Standing in the plains just outside Princess Luna’s palace, watching as their kites gently swayed in the breeze. Sunset had never taken the time to appreciate how calming such a simple hobby could be in between her lessons and the various royal duties she attended to on her mentor’s behalf. She was starting to understand why Starlight was so appreciative (read: obsessed) of the little things.

Sunset hummed a soft little tune under her breath as she gave her sun-themed (gee, what a coincidence, right?) kite a little tug to straighten it out. Starlight stood in place, moving her star-patterned kite around with the slightest touch like a practiced pro, making it dance merrily across the clouds. Spike’s kite, on the other hoof, never left the ground because the baby dragon got bored and decided to take a nap on his back.

“Thanks for inviting me out here, Starlight,” Sunset said gratefully. “I could use a de-stresser after the insane day I’ve been having.”

“Oh no, no need to thank me, Sunset,” said Starlight, flashing a wide (read: disturbing) pearly-white smile. “After all, we are the best of friends, right? I couldn’t think of anyone better to share this moment with, right, bestie?”

“Er, I guess?” Sunset answered uncertainly.

“And you know who else liked to fly kites?” said Starlight. She didn’t give Sunset a chance to respond before she answered, “Sunburst.”

“Is that right…?” Sunset muttered awkwardly.

“Oh, sure, we used to fly kites all the time when we were foals,” said Starlight. “Well, maybe not all the time, but that’s because there was so much we would always do together. Studying magic, playing our favorite board game, sneaking sweets from Mrs. Baker’s store. You know, silly foal things.”

“Uh-huh…”

“Yeah, you know, before Sunburst found his Cutie Mark and was shipped off to Princess Luna’s School for Gifted Unicorns, never to return. I mean, I wasn’t all bad, growing up all alone without my best friend around, becoming bitter and resentful towards Cutie Marks and ponies in general. But I turned out fine in the end – “

“I can see where this is going,” said Sunset, frowning.

“Still, it would be nice to see Sunburst again, at least once,” Starlight continued with a dramatic sigh. “I wonder if I’ll ever find him again. I mean, surely he’ll be at the Grand Galloping Gala, being the amazing mage that he is, but I have no way of attending myself. If only I had a kind, wonderful, generous friend who could help me find a way to reunite with my long lost foalhood friend.”

“Please, for the love of Luna, just stop,” Sunset groaned, rubbing her hoof between her eyes. “Trixie’s the theatrical one – your performance is just too painful to watch.”

“I have no idea what you could possibly mean,” said Starlight, acting dumb.

“Oh please, you’re as transparent as glass,” said Sunset. “You brought me out here so you could tell me stories about you and Sunburst to guilt trip me into giving you the extra ticket. Well, it’s not gonna happen, marefriend. You're going to have to wait for my decision just like everypony else.” She levitated the sleeping Spike onto her back and walked away grumpily. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I just want to get some peace and quiet!”

“Oh my, Sunset, is that you?”

“Oh no, not another one,” Sunset moaned tiredly.

Quick as a whip, Sunset was pulled sharply to the side by the hoof, sending Spike flying off with a surprised yelp. The sunny mare flopped onto the grass when she looked up and saw herself surrounded by what could only be described as the Great Wall of Literature. Books of every size and color cornered her from all sides, though judging by the titles, they all had a common astrology theme. Didn’t take a genius to figure out who made this.

“Sunset Shimmer, I’m so glad you could come,” said Twilight, leaning in close with a wide smile.

“Not like you gave me a choice,” Sunset grumbled.

“Did you know that Rosetta Nebula was the first pony to identify and catalogue all the stars in the night sky?” said Twilight, flipping open a random book.

“Twilight – “

“And that she was personally hoofed-picked to lead the Equestrian Space Program by Princess Luna herself.”

“Twilight – “

“Just think: one day ponies could be soaring off to other planets, discovering new and exotic species like the fabled ‘hoo-mans’ from the distant planet of ‘Ear-arth’. Doesn’t that sound exciting, Sunset?”

“TWILIGHT!” Sunset roared, creating a tremor so powerful it knocked over Twilight’s book wall. The Lavender blinked surprisingly. “I know what you’re trying to do, Twilight, and it isn’t going to work. I don't know who I'm giving the ticket to, and all this pressure isn’t making it any easier to decide. In fact, I'm less even sure now than I was this morning! Ugh!”

Sunset stomped away, seething. Spike looked between the frustrated Sunset and the bewildered Twilight before chasing after the sunny mare.

“So…that’s a maybe?!” Twilight called.





Sunset dragged her hooves exhaustedly through the halls of the royal palace, trudging in the direction of her bedroom. Spike walked alongside her, looking deeply concerned for her well-being.

“Are you gonna be all right?” Spike asked worried.

“I don’t even know at this point,” Sunset bemoaned. “I never had to deal with this kind of pressure before I had friends. I’m starting to think I should’ve just let Daybreaker burn everything. ‘Least then I wouldn’t have to deal with this gala business.”

Sunset’s door was at the end of the long corridor, marked with the shimmering sun like the one on her flank. Much too tired to use her hooves, Sunset grasped the handle with her horn and pushed it open. 

Her living quarters were fairly modest giving her position as Princess Luna’s student. A four-poster bed with orange curtains with her Cutie Mark emblazed on the headboard, a polished writing desk where she kept her personal journal, and an entire wall filled with books on magic for her daily lessons. Though she added a few personal effects with strings of fairy lights hanging across the ceiling, a comfortable set of couches around a slightly chipped coffee table, and her personal favorite: her collection of electric guitars hanging on the wall. Yeah, Sunset was a hardcore rocker pony.

And you know what else was there?

“Moon Dancer?” said Sunset, aghast. “What’re you doing in my room?”

The bespectacled unicorn had been taken a feather duster to Sunset’s electric guitars when the sunny mare called her out. She turned and greeted Sunset with a friendly smile and wave.

“Oh, hello, Sunset,” said Moon Dancer courteously. “Welcome back. I hope you don’t mind, but I was doing a little spring cleaning for you.”

“It’s the middle of summer,” Sunset retorted with a blank stare.

“Oh,” said Moon Dancer, as if just realizing her error. “Er, well, better late than never, I always say.”

“You’re trying to butter me up so you can get the extra ticket, aren’t you?” Sunset asked grumpily.

“Oh no, of course not!” Moon Dancer denied, throwing a friendly hoof over Sunset’s shoulders. “I’m just doing this because you’re my very best friend, who also happens to be the personal student of Princess Luna, the only pony in all of Equestria who knows Moon Magic…. I probably should’ve stopped talking before I said that part, huh?”

“Not like it would’ve helped you,” Sunset admitted. “Well, this was all very nice of you, but doing me special favors isn’t going to convince me to give you the ticket,” she padded over to the door, opening it for Moon Dancer, “so I’m going to have to ask you to leave – “

BOOM!

Sunset jumped over a foot in the air as a loud smoke bomb exploded at the threshold. She fell into Spike’s arms, but the baby dragon could not support her weight and toppled over. Sunset groaned and rubbed her forehead as Trixie appeared through the door with a flourish of her cape.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie has arrived!” Trixie declared in her typical theatrical voice. “And Trixie has a spectacular proposal that you would be foolish to pass up, Sunset Shimmer!” She reached into her cape, pausing for dramatic effect, then whipped out…another cape and hat like hers, only colored red instead of purple. “Behold!”

“Um…what am I beholding?” Sunset asked awkwardly.

“Your matching costume, of course,” Trixie explained gleefully. “For when you perform on stage as Trixie’s Great and Powerful assistant!”

“Assistant?” Sunset parroted, dumbfounded. “Your idea to convince me into giving you the ticket is to make me your assistant?”

“Well, of course, Trixie’s going to be the star,” said Trixie like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “But you should be honored to be sharing the same stage as the Great and Powerful Trixie.”

“Ugh, unbelievable,” Sunset moaned, facehoofing. “At least the other ponies tried to be subtle about the ticket.”

“Trixie doesn’t do anything subtle,” Trixie scoffed.

“Well, neither do I!” Sunset growled. 

Sunset’s horn ignited with magic as she forcefully levitated Trixie and Moon Dancer, unceremoniously tossing them out of her room. The echoing crash of metal told her that they had smashed into one of the suits of armor that decorated the corridors, but Sunset couldn’t bring herself to care. She slammed the door and jumped into her bed, screaming into her pillow while kicking her hooves. She stopped after a few seconds and went prone, but Spike could hear the muffled sound of sobbing.

“Sunset...you okay?” Spike asked, approaching the bed in concern.

“I don’t know what to do, Spike,” Sunset moaned as she flipped over, sniffling and wiping her eyes. “No matter who I choose, somepony is going to be mad at me. My first friends ever and I could end up losing them already.”

“Well, you know what I think?” Spike said with a determined look in his eye. “I think you should just choose – right here, right now. Forget about what they want and think about what you want.”

“But my friends – “

“If they’re really your friends, they’ll understand,” said Spike, seating himself on the edge of the bed. “Somepony’s going to get hurt – there’s no avoiding that. But if you keep putting it off, the only pony getting hurt is you. You need to rip the bandage off, for yourself and your friends.”

Sunset pondered on the baby dragon’s words for a moment, took a deep breath, and nodded to herself.

“You’re right, Spike, I’m done putting this off,” said Sunset, sitting up. She smiled at Spike appreciatively and patted him on the head. “You know, you’re a lot wiser than you let on.”

“I’m not just a pretty face,” said Spike jokingly, making Sunset chuckle.

The sunny mare hopped off her bed and walked to the center of the room. She lit up her horn, visibly straining from the amount of magic she was drawing, but successfully made five flashes of light explode around her. All five of her friends suddenly appeared in the room, visibly confused.

“Well, that was weird,” Tempest commented.

“All right, everypony, listen up!” Sunset shouted firmly. “I know you’ve all been wondering who I’m taking to the Grand Galloping Gala – QUIET!” She snapped when the others started to speak up, silencing them. “I’ve thought long and hard about this and I decided the one I’m taking with me to the gala is…Spike.”

“SPIKE?!” The mares cried in unison.

“Really? Sweet!” Spike cheered, but caught himself and tried to act nonchalant. “I mean, whatever.”

“But Sunset – “

“No! No!” Sunset yelled angrily. “I choose Spike because he’s the only one who hasn’t been pressuring me all day! Do you know how hard this has been for me?! You five are the first friends I’ve ever had, and all I ever wanted to do was make you happy! But you’ve been pushing me over and over about giving you the ticket! I know the gala is important to all of you and I can’t stand to disappoint you, but I can’t keep doing this! I can’t! It’s too hard!”

Sunset sniffled and hiccupped uncontrollably as tears streamed down her face. The other mares looked guilty, as they rightful should.

“Sunset,” Twilight said softly, brushing Sunset's mane tenderly, “I didn’t mean to put so much pressure on you. And if it helps, I think you made the right decision by choosing Spike. He’s the best friend a pony could ask for,” she smiled at the baby dragon, making him blush.

“Me too,” said Moon Dancer, giving Sunset a side hug. “I feel terrible for making you feel like you’re obligated to make us happy. I’ll find another opportunity to talk to Princess Luna, so don’t worry about it.”

“The Regretful and Apologetic Trixie also agrees,” Trixie added. “Trixie will perform at the Grand Galloping Gala one day, but it will be because Trixie earned it.”

“And who knows if Sunburst is even at the gala?” Starlight commented. “It was a long shot anyway. I don’t need to go to. Spike deserves the ticket. He was the only real friend among us.”

“And I don’t need some priceless jewel anyway,” said Tempest, smirking. “Now that I think about it, running my own kingdom sounds like too much work. I think I’ll just stick to being a thief.”

“We all got so excited about going to the gala,” said Twilight repentantly, “that we couldn’t see how miserable we were making you.”

“We’re sorry, Sunset,” the mares apologized together, hanging their heads.

Sunset sniffled, but managed to put on a grateful smile as she wiped away the last tear.

“Thanks, girls,” said Sunset. “I just wish there was some way we could all go to the gala.”

And just like every other conveniently timed event today, a sharp knock came from Sunset’s door. The sunny mare blinked curiously and pulled the handle with her horn. Fanfare staggered into the bedchamber, looking haggard and out of breath that he couldn’t bring himself to play more than three notes on his bugle before giving up. The pegasus grumbled as he pulled out another scroll with his wings and started to read aloud:

“Hear ye, hear ye. Her Grand Royal Highness, Princess Luna of Equestria – blah, blah, blah. Yada, yada, yada – Ugh, look.” He dropped the scroll with a grumpy frown. “I’ve been flying around all day delivering these, so just take them.”

He reached into his saddlebag and uncaringly tossed several slips into the air. Twilight caught them with her magic and brought them down in front of everypony, making them gasp when they saw what they were.

“Tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala!” Moon Dancer cheered. “Now we can all go!”

“That was a conveniently timed plot device,” Trixie commented.

“Wait,” Twilight said strangely, pointing at Fanfare. “If I already had a ticket to the gala, why didn’t you just give it to me when I was with Sunset?”

“Hey, get off my flank already,” Fanfare replied rudely, slamming Sunset’s door behind him.

“Well, bad logic aside,” Sunset smiled. “Looks like we’re all going to the gala together.”

“Yes, indeed!” shouted Trixie theatrically. “And to celebrate-slash-apologize, everypony is invited to Trixie’s wagon for Trixie’s special fizzy fruit potions!”

Everypony cheered and skipped happily out the door, except for Sunset, who lagged behind everypony else to wait for Spike. The baby dragon nudged Sunset’s flank and said, “Looks like everything worked out in the end.”

“Guess so,” said Sunset. “Thanks for giving a push. I really needed it.”

“No problem,” said Spike proudly. “Now come on, before they take all the cherry potions.”

Sunset laughed as she cantered after the excited baby dragon.
> Luna's Day Out
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Princess Luna stood on the balcony of the tallest tower in her castle, humming a little song while her horn’s magic raised the sun for the day. It always put a strain on Luna whenever she had to drag the celestial body over the horizon since it was five times heavier than the moon. She amusingly recalled the early days of her rule where she spent an entire week trying to pull the sun up; history called it “The Longest Night of Equestria.” Thankfully, she had many centuries of practice and could now properly raise it when needed.

“Another successful sunrise,” Luna said proudly to herself.

She walked back inside and paused, gazing sadly at the large, round bed in front of her. Celestia was still lying in a deep, dreamless sleep, breathing softly as she had been for the past week. The royal physicians made certain that she received plenty of nourishment while she slept, so her complexion was healthier than when she had been Daybreaker. Though there were still deep circles under her eyes that were unlikely to ever go away.

Luna steppeded quietly to her bedside and ran a hoof softly through her sister’s ethereal mane.

“Hopefully you’ll be able to raise it yourself soon, sister,” Luna whispered softly.

Luna silently stepped out of the room, closing the door behind her quietly, and made her way down the spiraling staircase. A pair of pegesai guards saluted her when she reached the bottom with the princess reminding them that no one other than herself and authorized ponies are allowed entry. She continued down the corridors where the various servants of the castle bowed and greeted her in a friendly manner. The alicorn princess greeted them in kind, but did not stop to speak; she was a busy princess, after all.

Finally, she reached the pair of double doors emblazoned with her Cutie Mark and threw them open to enter her office space. Just like every morning since she was hired, Twilight was already waiting off to the side of her desk, taking a quill to a roll of parchment like she was engaged in an epic duel. The princess chuckled, which snapped the lavender unicorn of out her personal fantasy.

“Good morning, Princess Luna!” Twilight greeted merrily with a respectful bow.

“Good morning, Twilight Sparkle,” said Luna, taking her seat behind the desk. “So, what’s on the schedule for today.”

“Oh, there’s no schedule,” said Twilight was a proud smile. “Your entire day has been completely cleared."

“What?” Luna jumped up, alarmed. “Is something wrong? Did something happen?”

“No, I –“

“Did something go wrong the ambassador? Is the mayor of Ponyville ill? Are the royal guards rebelling?” Luna questioned erratically. “No, wait, has somepony sent a declaration of war? Is it Saddle Arabia? I knew those ponies couldn’t be trusted! Alert the guard! Sound the war horn! Bring me my sword and armor!”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, Princess Luna!” Twilight yelped, flailing her hooves in a panic. Luna calmed down slightly, though her eyes were still searching suspiciously around the room. “Nopony is declaring war on us. You just have the day off.”

“Day…off?” Luna repeated strangely like she speaking a different language. “Explain, Twilight Sparkle.”

“You’ve been working tirelessly for a thousand years to guide and protect Equestria,” said Twilight, “all without ever taking time just for yourself. So I thought If anypony deserved to have a day to themselves, it’s you. And as your royal scheduler, I worked a bit of my time management magic to make it happen. You’re clear for the entire day.”

“What about the ambassador from Griffinstone?” asked Luna.

“Got arrested for fighting with a rainbow-maned speed junkie in Cloudsdale,” Twilight answered casually.

“The mayor of Ponyville?”

“Agreed to reschedule for tomorrow.”

“The royal guards?”

“Shiny – I mean, Shining Armor has it well in hoof."

“What about my paperwork?”

“Raven Inkwell is taking care of it,” Twilight stated. Luna couldn’t help but feel impressed by Twilight’s preparation skills. Then again, that was the reason she was hired. “Everything has been taken care off. You don’t have to worry. Equestria can handle itself for one day.”

“Oh…well…this is most generous of you, Twilight Sparkle,” said Luna, smiling lightly. “I must admit, it has been quite a while since I had a break from pushing papers. Thank you, and thank the others as well.”

“It’s the least we could do, your majesty,” said Twilight with a bow, then pranced out the door “I’ll just leave you to yourself. Enjoy your day off, Princess Luna!”

“I will, Twilight Sparkle!” Princess Luna called out before Twilight disappeared around the corner. “Well, looks like I have the day all to myself. Free to do whatever I want…all day…for twenty-four hours….”

While the prospect of not having to worry about running the kingdom was very appealing to the princess, it took only three seconds before Luna came to a startling realization: she didn’t know what to do. She had spent the last millennium with a daily schedule that it never occurred to her what would happen if she suddenly had free time.

Luna sat quietly (Read: awkwardly) at her desk, tapping her hooves to some random beat, but then stopped and her office fell into an uncomfortable silence. She instinctively reached a hoof to start her paperwork, only to remember that she didn’t have any. She tapped her hooves again, and stopped. She nudged her feather quill so that it was parallel to her inkwell, then nudged said inkwell at least two inches to the left. She tapped her hooves again, and stopped. Somewhere in the distance, she could hear the ticking of a grandfather clock. She tapped her hooves again –

- and slumped across her desk with a defeated moan.

“I never realized how boring having free time would be,” Luna groaned. “Maybe I could ask Raven to send some documents to my office…. No, no, Luna, don’t.” she told herself, sitting up and shaking her head. “Twilight went through a lot of effort to give you this time off, so the least you can do is make the most of it…. But what am I supposed to do if I’m not running the kingdom…?”

She put her hooves to her skull, as if willing ideas to her brain. Then, she heard somepony humming in the hallway. Twilight had left the doors open, and who just happened to be passing by Luna’s office than her own student. Sunset Shimmer was singing a tune to herself and she leisurely strolled by, levitating a book in front of her. Luna stared at her student until she was out of sight and her humming got further and further away….

The princess blinked…then slowly rose from her desk.





Sunset shuffled between the shelves of the palace library, running a hoof across the bindings as she read the title of each one. She found the book she was looking for and pulled it off the shelf with her horn, satisfied. But when she turned around, Sunset found herself coming face-to-chest with Princess Luna; the midnight alicorn hovering over her student like a silent shadow. 

Sunset predictably jumped with a frightened yelp, tossing her book into the air, only for it to come back down and bop her on the head. Luna seemed unbothered while Sunset tried to regain control of her erratically heartbeat.

“Prin – Princess Luna,” Sunset gasped between breathes. “What – what a surprise. I…wasn’t expecting to see you there. Did you need something?”

“Oh no, nothing at all,” said Luna, smiling brilliantly.

“Oh…,” said Sunset awkwardly. A moment of uncomfortable silence passed. “Well, um, good to see you.”

Luna said nothing in return, just smiling in an admittedly creepy way. Sunset awkwardly stared back, retrieving her dropped book, and walked around the princess hesitantly.

Sunset took a seat at one of the long tables of the library, using her horn to flip the book open. The sunny mare read quietly to herself until she heard the cringe-inducing sound of a chair scrapping against the floor. Sunset turned to her left, somehow unsurprised that Luna was sitting beside her, staring down at Sunset like she was something fascinating. The alicorn didn’t even look ashamed, just politely waving at Sunset. The sunny mare tried to pretend her mentor wasn’t there and went back to reading, but Luna did not seem intent on leaving her be.

“What’re reading?” she asked innocently.

“….’The Art of War by Sunny Sue’” Sunset answered shortly, determined to keep reading.

“Oh,” said Luna simply. “…is it good?”

“…I don’t know; I’m still on the first page,” said Sunset, sounding annoyed.

“I see...,” said Luna. Another awkward pause. “Do you always read this early?”

“Yeah,” Sunset answered, scowling. “You’re the one who taught me to study early, remember?”

“Oh, that’s right, I did do that, didn’t I?” Luna muttered to herself. Another bout of silence. “So…is there anypony you like – “

“OKAY!” Sunset screamed, slamming the book shut and rounding on her mentor. “Not to be rude or anything, your majesty, but is there a reason you’re being unusually annoying this morning? Shouldn’t you be in your office right now, filing paperwork or something?”

“Normally, yes,” answered Luna. “But Twilight Sparkle was kind enough to schedule me a ‘day off’” She made quotation gestures with her hooves. “So I’m completely free for the day.”

“Gee, that was nice of her,” Sunset grumbled. She was going to have some words for Twilight later. “Well, I’m sorry, your majesty. You may have the day off, but I don’t. I have a lot of studying to do on top of magic training and diplomacy lessons with Raven Inkwell.”

“Oh…right…yes, that’s right, I’m the one who made your lesson plan…,” Luna mumbled disappointedly.

Sunset felt a twinge of guilty at Luna’s saddened face and said, “H-Hey, don’t feel bad. If you have the day off, why don’t you go visit your friends?”

“My…friends?” Luna parroted.

“You do have friends, right?” asked Sunset, worried.

“Well, there was a time when I used to friends,” said Luna, looking up at the ceiling in thought.

“What happened?” Sunset questioned curiously.

“They grew old and died a few centuries ago,” Luna said bluntly.

“Okay, I can see where that could be a problem,” said Sunset, tapping her chin. “Well…why don’t you take this opportunity to make some new friends?”

“Make some new friends?” asked Luna like she had never considered such a concept.

“Yeah,” Sunset nodded. “I met Twilight and the others by accident – well, an accident you caused – and now we’re best friends. I bet there are tons of ponies just waiting for you to be their friend. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be pals with the princess of Equestria.”

“That does sound nice,” said Luna, frowning in uncertainty. “But where do I even start?”

“How ‘bout around the castle,” Sunset suggested. “Everypony here already knows you on a professional level. Why not make a personal relationship. And before you even think about it, try asking somepony other than Twilight or Tempest. You should make your own friends.”

“My own friends, huh?” Luna hummed, smiling. “Yes. Yes, I think I will. Thank you for your words of wisdom, Sunset Shimmer.”

“I learned from the best,” said Sunset proudly.

Luna stood up and walked out of the library with her head held high. When she was gone, Sunset’s expression morphed into a scowl as her horn flared up. A moment later, Twilight popped into the room beside the sunny mare, blinking astonishingly, and leaned back when Sunset jabbed a hoof in her chest.

“You and I need to have a little talk…,” Sunset said menacingly.

Twilight made a loud gulping noise.





Luna continued to wander the castle, pondering on her student’s words. She grew tired of the restrictive corridors and decided to take a stroll through the courtyard. She passed the royal garden, waving to the four gardener ponies as they worked. It suddenly occurred to Luna that she had talked to the servants almost daily, but she never stopped to chat, what with her busy schedule always keeping her occupied. Maybe one of them could be her friends….

“Hmm, but how does one go about making friends,” Luna muttered to herself as she entered the sculpture garden, shooting a menacing glare at one statue in particular. “Do I just walk up to them? Should I start a conversation, or wait for them to say something? What if I have nothing to say? Then what should I – “

Before the princess could spiral any deeper, she perked up at the sharp noise of tearing cloth nearby. Something flew over the tall hedges on her left and rolled on the ground at her hooves. She picked the item up curiously. It looked like the clothed head of a training dummy Luna has seen used in training by the royal guards. Why would this – 

The hedges rustled and the princess looked around as somepony emerged through the foliage. A cream-colored mare with a curled mane of cobalt and fushia poked her head through the leaves, looking for something on the ground. When she noticed Luna’s hooves, her eyes wandered up to the royal alicorn and greeted her with a friendly smile.

“Princess Luna,” she said cheerfully, prying herself from the bushes, shaking off the stray leaves. “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Agent Swee – “Luna started, but is taken back by surprise when the mare suddenly slaps her hooves over the princess’s mouth. She cast a conspiratorial glance around the garden, sighing when the coast was clear.

“Princess, you can’t say my codename is public like that,” the mare whispered secretively. “Call me Bon Bon.”

“Right, of course, apologies, Bon Bon,” Luna corrected herself, then offered the dummy head. “I believe this belongs to you.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Bon Bon chuckled sheepishly. “I sometimes get so heated during my work out, I forget to hold back. You wouldn’t believe how many of these I’ve gone through. Shining Armor’s threatening to ban me from the training dummies.”

“What exactly does your ‘work out’ entail?” asked Luna.

“Here, I’ll show you,” Bon Bon offered excitedly.

Bon Bon gestured for the princess to follow and walked back through the bushes. Luna, being blessed with wings, simply flew over and landed on the other side before Bon Bon appeared through the hedge. The midnight alicorn scanned the area, equally shocked and surprised by Bon Bon’s training space.

A row of dummies lined the hedges with one of them missing its head for obvious reasons. To the left of them was three bull’s-eye targets embedded with all sorts of sharp objects from arrows to darts to knives to throwing stars. A well-worn punching bag hanged next to a set of weights that looked like that could snap Luna’s hoof if she tried to lift them. The rest of the space was taken up by an obstacle course that contained, but was not limited to, a barbwire crawl, a rope swing over mud, a wall climb, and the Fiery Flaming Hoops of Death™.

“Wow…,” said Luna in astonishment. “That’s pretty hardcore.”

“Heh, thanks,” Bon Bon giggled, casually tossing the dummy head aside. She walked over to the punching bag, rising to her hind legs, and started beating into the bag. “I always work out first thing in the morning. A member of the princess’s secret service must always be fit and ready for action. And I need to be doubly prepared when I routinely fight my archenemy.”

“I thought you and Dr. Hoofenshmirtz were quite friendly with each other,” Luna commented.

“Well…we are…but we’re still enemies, you know,” said Bon Bon awkwardly. “It’s a complicated relationship.”

“Sounds like it,” Luna chuckled.

“So what’re you doing here, your majesty,” Bon Bon asked, bucking the sandbag and tearing it in half. “Shouldn’t you be in your office slaving away over paperwork.”

“Twilight Sparkle gave me the day off,” answered Luna.

“Nice,” Bon Bon grinned.

“It would be,” said Luna, rubbing her hoof uncertainly. “Except I have no idea what I should do with myself? I’ve been working on a tight schedule well over a thousand years, and this is the first time I’ve had been free for a while. Suffice to say, I’m a little out of my element.”

“Hmm…,” Bon Bon hummed, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. “Well…how ‘bout you join me in a work out?”

“Pardon?” Luna questioned, taken aback by the offer.

“Yeah, you can run the obstacle course with me,” Bon Bon suggested enthusiastically. “I always feel great after a strong work out. Your heart is racing, your blood is pumping, endorphins flaring, the adrenaline rushing through your veins. And when you’re finished, you feel happy and confident with all the stress and anxiety flushing from your body. What better way to start the day, huh?”

“That does sound enticing,” said Luna, feeling a little bit of excitement welling up in her chest. “Where do we start?”

“We take our positions behind the white line,” said Bon Bon, pointing to the chalk marking at the start of the course. Both mares walked over and crouched into a ready position. “This course can be a little brutal for beginners, so take it easy and take your time getting through it.”

“I’ve been in over a hundred battles in the last one thousand years,” Luna proclaimed boldly. “This will be a piece of cake.”

And, as you would expect, Luna immediately came to regret her words.

They started at the barb wire crawl where Bon Bon practically glided through the dirt and mud on her belly like a slippery snake and moved on to the next section. Luna, being twice as tall as the average pony, couldn’t get low enough to safely crawl underneath. When she tried to force her way through, her wings got caught in the wire, prompting a very painful session in getting them loose.

Bon Bon approached the rope swing, leaping to grab the line, swinging safely over to the other side, and pressing on without missing a beat. Luna grounded herself to a stop at the edge of the mud pit, contemplating. With her wings, she could easily glide to the other side, but that wouldn’t be fair to Bon Bon, who didn’t have the advantages of wings or a horn to help. Luna crouched low and jumped high, grabbing the rope with her hooves…. She immediately slipped off and splashed in to the mud pit, covered from hoof to horn.

Next came the wall climb. Bon Bon gripped her hooves in the tiny spaces between the boards and climbed up the wall like a spider monkey, coming out on the other side in less than five seconds. And Luna…actually, she did okay on this one. Her superior height allowed her to climb the whole thing in two hoofsteps. It felt a bit like cheating, but Luna could use a win right now.

And finally, the Fiery Flaming Hoops of Death™ - three rings lined up in a row, coated in fire. Bon Bon sprinted at the hoops and launched herself into the air, flying through them with a graceful spin and landed safely on the other end without touching a single ring. The curly-maned Earth pony looked back just as Luna took her own leap and – 

CRASH!

Bon Bon turned her head away with a wince. After a moment of silence, she looked back slowly and found the princess lying on the ground, the three rings tangled up around her body. They were thankfully extinguished from the crash, but there was a small tuft of fire in her mane that the princess couldn’t bring herself to snuff out.

“Well…feeling the blood pumping yet?” Bon Bon asked, giggling nervously.

“I’m certainly feeling something,” Luna grumbled. She untangled herself with Bon Bon’s help when she felt a sharp pain in her flank. “Gah! I think I just pulled something!”

“Yeah, I did say this was brutal for beginners,” aid Bon Bon sympathetically.

“Well, as…exciting as this was,” said Luna, “I don’t think this is the right exercise for me.” She tried to stretch her wings, groaning and wincing as she held the sore spot on her back. “Oh yeah, I think I definitely threw something out. I don’t suppose realigning spines is included in your impressive repertoire?”

“I’m more of a back breaker than a fixer,” Bon Bon admitted openly. “But do know somepony who could help.”





Roughly twenty minutes later, Bon Bon was leading Princess Luna through Canterlot’s commercial district. The midnight alicorn was concealed by a dusty old cloak that Bon Bon had found lying around the castle. If anypony knew the princess was walking around Canterlot, it would cause a huge fuss that would attract all kinds of unwanted attention, especially from the paparazzi. Though Luna found it concerning that nopony even batted an eye to the towering cloaked figure casually walking down the street. These ponies need to work on their survival instincts, Luna thought.

Bon Bon suddenly stopped in front of a building, making Luna look up. Nestled between a vintage record store and an ice cream parlor was a humble-looking studio with a hoofpainted sign hanging over the door that read “Blossoming Lotus” with a picture of a pony sitting in a meditative pose. Bon Bon opened the door for Luna – a tiny bell jingled overhead – and gestured the princess inside, looking up and down the street once before shutting the door behind her.

The princess nearly slipped on the polished wooden floor, but steadied herself and chanced a look around. The studio was very minimalist by design, possessing very little in terms of furniture other than the desk that made up the reception area.  Beyond that, the entire studio had a number of colorful plants hanging from the ceiling, giving off various soothing fragrances that already made Luna’s body feel more relaxed. One wall was made entirely of mirrors, reflecting the dozens of mats laid out on the floor in neat rows. A bunch of equipment was stacked against the opposite wall such as foam blocks, elastic bands, and giant rubber balls.

Based on her observation, Luna assumed this was a yoga studio.

The studio was occupied by a single pegasus mare with a light-colored coat and a mane streaked with pinks and greens. She was lying on her chest with her eyes closed, her hind legs raised above her head and twisted in a way that should not be anatomically possible. Bon Bon padded across the studio toward the mare and Luna followed. The mare must have heard their hoofsteps, but she spoke to them while keeping her eyes closed:

“The next class isn’t for another hour. Please come back later.

“I’m sure you won’t mind making a special exception for us, Blossomforth,” said Bon Bon casually.

The pony, Blossomforth, opened her eyes and broke out into a huge grin.

“Hey, Bon Bon, haven’t seen you around in a while,” she said cheerfully. “How’ve you been.”

“You know, keeping busy,” said Bon Bon nonchalantly, then pointed at Luna. “Hey, do you think you could give my friend here a private session? She thinks she might have thrown something out of whack earlier.”

“You put her through your insane training course?” Blossomforth asked knowingly.

“She did,” Luna answered bluntly.

“Well, I’m sorry, Bons,” Blossomforth apologized. “We may be friends, but I can’t give out private sessions to just anypony. Otherwise, other ponies will start making private requests, too. And my schedule’s busy enough as it is.”

“Not even for…,” Bon Bon paused for dramatic effect before grabbing Luna’s cloak and whipping it off, “The princess of Equestria?”

Blossomforth gasped like a fish out of water, her eyes practically popping out of her skull. Luna greeted her with an awkward smile and wave when Blossomforth toppled sideways, tangled in her own limbs. The flexible Pegasus unraveled herself, hopping to her hooves, and bending at the knee for a courteous bow.

“Princess Luna!” Blossomforth yipped. “Th – this is unexpected! I’m honored that you would visit my humble studio!”

“There’s no need to bow,” Luna waved her off. “I’m not the princess today. You can just call me Luna.”

“O-okay…Luna,” Blossomforth stammered like she was afraid lightning would suddenly rain down and smite her.

“The princess threw her back out during training like an old lady,” Bon Bon explained teasingly; she could feel Luna’s glare burning in the back of her head. “Think you could do something for her.”

“Hmm…well, there are some techniques that are good for relieving back pain,” Blossomforth hummed. “Grab a mat while I lock things up so that the princess can have some privacy. Can’t be too careful.”

While Blossomforth went about locking the door and closing the curtains, Luna and Bon Bon stepped over to the two mats in front facing the mirrors. Bon Bon was already stretching her hooves out while Luna shuffled awkwardly on the narrow mat, her hooves barely able to find space due to her size.

“You’re free to take another if you’d like Prin – I mean, Luna,” said Blossomforth as she came back. Luna sighed in relief and pushed two mats together to make a wider space. “Now, normally I like to take my classes through a specified routine that covers all bases of the body, but since you’ve come with a specific problem, we can skip ahead to the more immediate poses.

“First position is the cat-pony pose.” Blossomforth got down on her knees and elbows, inhaling as she tilted her head up and dropped her stomach down. She exhaled as she lowered her head and arched her back up. She repeated these motions like a fluid wave. “This position stretches and mobilizes the spine while also stretching your torso, shoulder’s and neck. Make sure to breath accordingly."

Luna and Bon Bon got down on their knees and mimicked the form, breathing in and out with the motions. At first, Luna felt a sharp stab when she arched her back, but when she lowered her body and raised it back up again, the pain felt duller. It became easier than longer she performed the pose….

“Next position is the downward-facing pony,” Blossomforth continued a minute later. She rose to her hooves, raising her tail to the ceiling while lowering her head to the mat, keeping her back straight. “This is a traditional pose that helps relieve back pain and flank muscles. It helps to work out imbalances in the body and improves strength.”

Luna and Bon Bon followed her example. As she lowered herself to the mat, Luna reflexively stretched her wings, which sent a nice shiver up her spine. She was staring to feel a pleasant tingle in her brain….

“Now for the sphinx pose,” Blossomforth continued. She laid her hind legs flat against the back while curving her body backwards, keeping her front hooves on the floor. “This technique strengthens your spine and flank while also stretching your chest, shoulders, and stomach. Be sure to keep your hooves firmly on the mat.”

The princess’s mind started to wander blissfully as she mimicked the pegasi’s form, notably feeling more relaxed than she had ever been in a thousand years. It’s like centuries of stress was being brushed away. Blossomforth moved on to their next form and Luna followed, but to the princess, in her hyper relaxed state, her voice was muffled like she was underwater. Luna let out a content sigh. She never knew such a simple exercise could be so…soothing. She should consider doing this more often….

…ess…pri…ss…ncess…

“PRINCESS!”

“Bwah?” Luna mumbled incoherently, snapping her eyes open.

It took several seconds for her brain to wake up, then found herself staring up at Bon Bon and Blossomforth, who were staring down at her with a mixture of concern and amusement. That’s when Luna realized that she was lying down on her chest with her hind legs stretched towards the ceiling, tangled up around one another while her wings had somehow founded themselves knotted together. When she tried to move her front hooves, she became aware that she was lying on top of both of them and they had gone numb.

“Um…how did I end up like this?” Luna asked curiously.

“We’re not exactly sure ourselves,” Bon Bon admitted.

“Would you mind getting me out?” Luna pleaded.

Blossomforth tapped her chin thoughtfully, looking the princess up and down. She stretched a hoof at Luna’s knotted wings and gave them the tiniest push. All of Luna’s limbs instantly came undone, springing out like a pony-in-a-box. The princess rose to her hooves, her front legs tingling like they were on pins and needles, but ultimate felt like a great weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

“Are you okay, Princ – er, Luna?” Blossomforth asked, concerned.

“Oh, I feel fine,” said Luna happily, stretching out her wings; they felt fresh as a foal’s. “In fact, I haven’t felt this good since I was a filly. Thank you, Blossomforth.”

“It was my pleasure,” Blossomforth smiled proudly with a bow. “I take great pride in my practice.”

“Now that you’re feeling better,” said Bon Bon, nudging the princess playfully. “How ‘bout another run through the obstacle course? I was thinking of adding flying arrows to the routine.”

“I may be immortal, but I don’t have a death wish,” Luna rejected. “I think it would be better if we just spend the rest of the afternoon relaxing, don’t you?”

“Well, if it’s relaxation you want,” Blossomforth interjected, “I always find that calming music soothes the weary soul.”

“Ooh, yes, I do enjoy a nice bit of music,” said Luna, delighted. “I am particularly fond of the classics. Why, I remember attending nearly all of Beethooven’s performances back in the day.”

“Well, you’re in luck,” said Blossomforth cheerfully. “I know just the pony.”





Blossomforth knocked aggressively on the door of a seemingly random house in Canterlot’s middle-class residential district with Bon Bon and Luna (donning her cloak) waited behind her. While many ponies believing that only the rich and elite lived in Canterlot, the truth was that the city still had its own social classes with most ponies of lower status being pushed into the background. Luna has spent several centuries trying to fix this, but even the ruler of Equestria had her limits.

After several seconds of nonstop pounding, the door finally opened and Blossomforth accidentally bopped the nose of the pony on the other side. The gray-coated Earth pony with an even darker gray mane yelped and moaned, tenderly rubbing her poor nose. From the way she dressed in a formal white collar and bowtie to her treble cleft Cutie Mark, Luna made the assumption that this was the classical pony player that Blossomforth was eager to introduce.

Speaking of whom, the dual-toned pegasi chuckled nervously as the gray Earth pony shot her with a sharp glare.

“Uh…oops,” said Blossomforth, shrugging. “Sorry, Octavia.”

“Blossomforth, what are you doing banging at my door this late in the afternoon?” The mare named Octavia grumbled. “If this is about my monthly membership fee, I’ll give it to you when I take your class on Thursday like I always do.”

“Oh no, I’m not here for that – although, I wouldn’t mind getting it in advance,” Blossomforth commented.

“Is it something important?” Octavia questioned. “My wife is going to be home soon, and it’s my turn to cook dinner, so I don’t have time to entertain guests.”

“Oh, I think you’ll want to make time for this guest,” said Blossomforth with a mischievous grin.

She gestured a hoof back to Luna, who took her cue to lift her hood enough to reveal her face to Octavia. The gray mare exhaled a dramatic gasp, her jaw dropped and her eyes bulging, her face frozen in a silent scream. Before she could stop herself, she started screaming, “PRINCESS LU – “ She was quickly cut off by Bon Bon, who suddenly appeared behind the musical mare quick as lighting, one hoof over Octavia’s mouth and the other around her throat. The secret service pony dragged Octavia back inside the house, effectively holding her hostage. Luna and Blossomforth didn’t bat an eye at their antics and followed them inside, kicking the door shut behind them.

The inside of Octavia’s home was something that made Luna do a double take. The house had been split completely down the middle. One side gave the essence of refinement with lacquered wood floors and fancy furniture arranged neatly next to the beautiful grand piano. The other half looked like something out a of music club from its tiled floors, to the amps and stage lights hanging from the ceiling, to the assortment of instruments splayed around a grandiose turntable set. Whoever Octavia’s wife was certainly had contrasting tastes.

Speaking of the mare, Bon Bon released Octavia once the room was secure and the gray mare immediately shouted, “PRINCESS LUNA, IT’S REALLY YOU!”

“Yes, it is me,” said Luna with a hint of amusement.

“Oh my, this is so unexpected!” Octavia cried, flailing her hooves frantically. “What an honor it is to have you in our home! Please, take a seat! Can I get you some tea! Oh, blast! I forgot to tell Vinyl to buy more tea! Um – um – I’ll just pop over to the store for a spell and – “

“Please, please, there is no need,” Luna waved her off. “You don't have to go out of your way for me.”

“But you’re the princess!” Octavia yelped.

“Not today, she isn’t!” Blossomforth announced cheerfully. “She has the day off.”

“I…see…,” said Octavia strangely. “Do princesses take days off?”

“According to my aide, they can,” said Luna jokingly. “Blossomforth tells me you play the cello? Is that true?”

“Well, yes, it is,” Octavia replied with a little blush. “I mean, I am first seat in the Canterlot Philharmonic, but I’m not anything special.”

“You’re terrible at this modesty thing, you know that?” Bon Bon teased.

“If you wouldn’t mind playing, I’d love to hear it,” Luna requested.

“Well…I suppose there’s no harm,” said Octavia, her skittishness swiftly turning to excitement. “Please, take a seat on the couch. Give me a moment to get everything ready.”

Luna walked over and plopped her flank in the middle of Octavia’s sofa while Blossomforth took the cushion on the princess’s right, but Bon Bon hopped up and draped herself casually across the armrest. Octavia rolled out a large case tucked away in the corner of the room, setting it down gently before undoing the locks. The gray mare lifted her instrument out like she was cradling a newborn foal. Luna noticed that the instrument was freshly polished and the stings sparkled like they were brand new. Octavia took great care in her cello.

The musical mare lifted herself onto her hind legs, composing herself proper with bow in hoof.

“For your pleasure, your majesty,” Octavia announced in a formal voice, “I will be performing Buck’s Cello Suite No. 1 in G major.”

Octavia gently glided the bow across the strings and the house soon echoed with the sound of smooth chords. Luna closed her eyes, letting the melody wash over her. Octavia was talented – that much she could say for certain – and she had an eye for reading the audience. This was exactly the type of music that would sooth Luna on her more restless days.

It reminded Luna of her foalhood, when she and Celestia would attend those stuffy formal parties. To keep them from dying of boredom, they would make a contest to see who could prank the most people without getting caught; Celestia would always win with that goody-four-shoes routine of hers. Mother and Star Swirl would always be so furious with them – 

But the calm was shattered by the sound of the front door being kicked open and slammed shut again, drawing everypony’s attention. A white unicorn mare with a spiked mane of striped blues bopped her head to the beat of whatever was playing on her headphones, which Luna could hear herself, though muffled. They assumed she had her eyes closed behind her royal-purple sunglasses because she walked by the couch without even glancing at the princess.

Octavia coughed loudly into her hoof. The unicorn stopped in her tracks, pulling down her headphones with a curious tilt of the head. How she could hear the mare over the ear-thrashing music, Luna couldn’t understand.

“Vinyl, we have guests,” Octavia explained, gesturing to their visitors, who gave a friendly wave. “This is Princess Luna, Blossomforth, and uh…I’m sorry, I never got your name,” she said apologetically to Bon Bon.

“It’s Bon Bon,” she answered.

“Right, Bon Bon,” Octavia nodded, then waved a hoof to the edgy unicorn. “Everypony, this is my wife, Vinyl Scratch. Though you might know her as – “

“DJ Pon-3!” Bon Bon and Blosssomforth exclaimed excitedly, taking Luna by surprise.

“Who?” she asked.

“Only one of the greatest music artists in all of Equestria!” Bon Bon claimed enthusiastically. “She makes a ton of hit singles like ‘License to Wub’ and ‘Keep Calm and Wub On!’”

“And her balled remix – ‘A Heart Full of Wub’ – was sooo romantic,” Blossomforth swooned.

“Vinyl made that one for our anniversary,” Octavia giggled.

“Sounds like you have quite the reputation,” Luna said to Vinyl. The unicorn DJ bowed silently. Not much of a talker, huh? “After hearing such praise, I would be most grateful to hear some of your music, if you don’t mind?”

“Are you sure about that, your majesty,” Octavia asked with a worried tone. Vinyl had already trotted to the other side of the house, disappearing behind the turntables. “Vinyl’s music can be a little…intense for some ponies.”

“I’m the princess of Equestria,” Luna reminded her. “I think I can handle a little music.”

“Oka-a-ay,” said Octavia, shaking her head and – did she just put on earmuffs?

Vinyl rose from behind the turntables, shaking her hooves and cracking her neck, before replacing the headphones over her ears. Luna noticed Bon Bon and Blossomforth leaning forward on either side of her, tapping their hooves together in anticipation. Vinyl flipped one of her records onto the turntable and slipped the needle on top. She stretched her hoof to the first button dramatically slow –


WUUUUUUUUUUB – WUB-WUB – WUB-WUB - WUB-WUB-WUB – WUUUUUUUUUUB


It felt like being slammed repeatedly by a stampede of Windigos! Luna clung to the couch cushions as if they were her last lifeline. Her wings flailed uncontrollably behind with her starry mane, her gums flapping like a dog in the wind, and her eyeballs sinking back into her skull. Blossomforth was completely blown away and slammed flat into the wall, leaving a sizable imprint in the plaster. Bon Bon tried holding on to the armrest, but she lost her grip and was launched through the window with a crash!

And the whole time, Octavia was just sitting nonchalantly, filing her hooves.

The DJ bopped her head to the wubs, unaware that the majority of her audience had been sent flying. Luna was on her way to joining them when the front door slammed open, a blue-and-orange blur zooming across the room. The power to the turntables was suddenly cut off, Luna thanked herself. Vinyl pressed several buttons on her turntables with no luck, then bent down to check the power cord. She followed it to the plug, which was in the hooves of a very annoyed pegasus mare. This pegasus Luna recognized both as the captain of her Wonderbolts team and sister to her student.

“I’ve told you a thousand times!” Spitfire yelled, throwing down the plug aggressively. “Keep – the wubs – down! The soundwaves keep throwing our flight patterns off!”

Vinyl shrugged her shoulder with a small grin and gave a playful salute.

“Thank you, Spitfire,” Luna said gratefully, sighing with relief. “Your timely rescue likely saved me from intensive ear surgery.”

“Whoa, hey, Loony,” Spitefire greeted the midnight alicorn casually, pushing up her goggles. “Didn’t see you there.”

Octavia gasped horrifically, “What is the matter with you?! You can’t call the princess that! She’s the princess!”

“It’s quite all right,” Luna brushed it off. “Her sister is my student. We’ve had many informal encounters in the past.”

“The princess has the day off from princess-ing,” Bon Bon informed as she walked through the front door, picking glass shards out of her mane.

“So we’re showing her how to have fun and relax,” said Blossomforth, ripping herself from the wall.

“And you think that’s fun and relaxing?” Spitfire asked strangely, gesturing to the DJ.

“It got a little out of hand,” said Luna, chuckling sheepishly.

“Well, if you wanna have some real fun,” Spitfire said eagerly, flapping up to Luna and throwing a friendly arm around her neck, “I’ve got the perfect thing for you.”





Being a princess, Luna was accustomed to getting special privileges. So getting the entire Cloud Stadium for themselves was more for her growing group of tagalongs, which now included Octavia and Vinyl. Luna chuckled as she glanced sideways at the little ponies whooping and cheering their little hearts out. She then rolled her eyes skyward to where the real action was taking place.

A team of eight pegasi was flying in a diamond formation, trailing streams of stormy clouds in their wake; Luna had yet to figure out how they did that. Spitfire’s fiery mane could be seen at the front of the pack. When Spitfire curled back and blasted higher into the sky, the rest of the team followed in perfect sync; not a single pony broke rank. As they climbed above the height of the Canterlot Mountain peak, the Wonderbolts split off into two teams of four in opposite directions. They streaked several yards from each other, then did a hairpin turn back. The audience watched anxiously as the Wonderbolts intersected with one another, coming dangerously close to colliding, but thankfully no one had crashed. When they were done, their stormy trails had melded seamlessly together to make a giant flower-shaped cloud.

Bon Bon, Blossomforth, and Octavia cheered while Vinyl gave them a sharp whistle; Luna remained dignified with a polite hoofclap.

Spitfire broke away from the rest of the Wonderbolts while they took a water break and asked, “Well, whaddya think?”

“Impressive as always, Spitfire,” Luna complimented.

“That wasn’t just impressive; it was amazing!” Blossomforth gushed. “I wish I could fly half as good as you ponies do.”

“Kinda makes me wish I had wings,” said Bon Bon. “Can you imagine what a rush that would be? The tension, the danger, the thrill of risking life and limb, knowing one mistake could cost you everything?”

“See! This mare gets it!” Spitfire exclaimed enthusiastically, giving Bon Bon a playful shoulder punch. “There’s nothing better than being able to soar through the air and just feel the wind running through your mane as you fly hundreds of miles per hour.”

“Aren’t you ever scared?” asked Octavia.

“Every time,” Spitfire admitted honestly. “We’re risking our necks to give the best performances we can, and sometimes thinks don’t go the way we like. But that’s why we practice, to reduce the chances of injury. I trust my team to make the right call, and they trust me do the same.

“So how ‘bout it?” Spitfire offered her hoof to Luna. “Wanna give it a try?”

“I don’t think I should,” said Luna uncertainly. “I don’t know any of the routines.”

“You just saw us pull off the Sky Daisy,” said Spitfire, shaking her hoof temptingly. “It’s the easiest maneuver there is. Just follow the lead of the pony in front of you, and everything will work out fine. Plus, everypony is a professional. If things look like they might go sideways, they’ll know when to stop. So, c’mon! You know you wanna!”

Bon Bon and the others yelled words of encouragement until the midnight alicorn rolled her eyes amusing and said, “All right, all right, I’ll try it! Peer pressure wins again.”

The ponies cheered as Luna stretched her wings and glided behind Spitfire. They flew over to join the Wonderbolts, which caused a lot of heads to turn; Soarin unconsciously squeezed his water bottle too hard and sprayed Misty Fly, who didn’t even notice because she was so dumbstruck by the princess. Luna unconsciously rubbed her hoof.

“All right, everypony, listen up!” Spitfire yelled gruffly. “Loony’s gonna be flying with us for the next formation – “ The others started breaking out in excited chatter. “Hey! Hey! HEY! Settle down, or it’s back to reserve status!” That silenced them quickly; Spitfire coughed importantly in her hoof. “Anyway, as I was saying, Loony’s flying with us! We’ll be doing the Sky Daisy maneuver again, but this time, keep in mind that the princess doesn’t have as much experience as us! So be careful when you fly! We only need eight fliers for the formation, so you’re benched, Blaze!”

“Why me?” Blaze complained.

“Because you’re basically a rip-off of me!” Spitfire snapped.

Blaze grumbled under her breath, but decided against talking back to her captain and flapped away to the stands, crossing her hooves in a pout.

“All right, everypony, line up!” Spitfire shouted, clapping her hooves insistently. “Come on, let’s move it, move it, move it!”

The Wonderbolts jolted in every direction while Luna remained floating in place, having no idea where she was supposed to be. In seconds, the Wonderbolts had all taken their places in the diamond formation with Spitfire once again in the lead, leaving only one space open.

“Loony, take the rear!” Spitfire commanded, not at all concerned she was yelling at royalty. Nevertheless, Luna flapped into position at the back of the group. “All right, everypony ready?! On my mark! Three! Two! One! BOLT!”

The Wonderbolt’s took off like rockets, leaving Luna to stumble awkwardly after them. Her larger wingspan allowed her to catch up with them in only a few flaps, returning to her position in the pack. Luna could only imagine how strange it must look from the other’s perspective, watching the princess of Equestria chasing down a flock of little ponies – 

“RISE!” Spitfire shouted.

The captain curved skyward and the Wonderbolt followed. Luna reacted too late and flew farther than intended, flapping her wings to stop herself before chasing after them. She had returned to her position by the time they reached the height of the Canterlot Mountain peak – 

“SEPERATE!”

The Wonderbolts split off into two groups; Spitfire went in one direction while Luna lagged behind Soarin in the other – 

“TURN!”

The Wonderbolts swooped around in a sharp hairpin turn back the way they came. Luna was glad that she had taken Blossomforth’s yoga class before coming here; she had to be very flexible to pull it off.

“CROSS!”

Now had come the part that Luna had been dreading: the intersections. Luna was in the last line of her group, so she would be the last one to make the cross, but that made her more nervous than relieved. She watched Spitfire and Misty Fly pass unharmed; Surprise and Thunderlane made it through safely; Soarin and High Winds succeeded without a hitch.

Now it was just her and Fleetfoot. Luna made a dramatic gulping noise, flapping her wings furiously in an unconscious effort to increase her speed. They were moving in closer…. Thirty hooves…twenty hooves…ten…five…. Luna wanted to close her eyes before the imminent crash, but she forced herself to look ahead. When their paths finally crossed, Fleetfoot skillfully twisted herself into a corkscrew, flying underneath the princess’s larger form and flashing a cocky grin before moving on.

Relief washed over Luna as she let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. She twisted around to inspect the finalized version of their work. They had made a successful Sky Daisy minus one petal due to Luna’s lack of a trail, but the princess didn’t mind this. The important thing was that they pulled off the maneuver and everypony came out of it unharmed.

Luna glided back to the stands where she was welcomed by the enthusiastic cheers of Bon Bon, Blossomforth, Octavia, and the mute head-bopping of Vinyl.

“That was incredible, your majesty!”

“You looked so majestic out there!”

“I never doubted you for…well, maybe one or two seconds.”

“So what’d you think, Loony?” Luna turned her head sideways at Spitfire flapping in the air beside her. “Was that a rush or what?”

“To be perfectly honest,” said Luna thoughtfully, “it was the most terrifying, heart-pounding, and…invigorating thing I’ve ever done!” She shouted with glee. “I haven’t felt this energized in centuries! We simply must do another one! Please! Pretty please!”

“Hah! We’ll make an adrenaline junkie out of you yet!” Spitfire guffawed, then screamed at her team. “All right, you slackers, line up! We’re going again! And yes, Blaze, you can join in, too, so stop sulking!”

Bon Bon and the other mares giggled amusingly as Luna shot after Spitfire, looking like a filly with a new toy.





It was getting close to the evening hours, but the Sun had not started to set because the princess had not returned from her outing. That’s why Twilight was pacing up and down the castle corridors, biting her hoof nervously. Sunset, on the other hoof, was casually leaning against the wall with ‘The Art of War’ across her lap, flipping a page.

“What if she’s been hurt, or fell in a ditch, or got lured away by strange ponies with candy,” Twilight had been going on this tangent for forty minutes now; Sunset had been counting. “Should we call the guards? I think we should call the guards! Order an all-pony bulletin! Interrogate everypony in Equestria if we have to!”

“Thank Luna you don’t have the authority to give those orders,” Sunset remarked. “Twilight, you need to relax. I’m sure she’s fine. Princess Luna is immortal, so it’ll be hard to hurt her. And I don’t see how she could get stuck in a ditch with those wings. And I think she’s smart enough not to follow strange ponies with candy.”

“But Princess Luna has been missing for twelve hours!” Twilight shrieked.

“You gave her the day off, remember?” Sunset pointed out.

“Yeah, but I thought she would be doing something that involved staying in the castle!” said Twilight. “Like reading the encyclopedia! Or organization her office supplies! Or making checklists! Checklists are fun, right?!”

“…We seriously need to get you a better hobby,” said Sunset.

Twilight opened her mouth to retort when she heard something strange coming from down the hall. It sounded like laughter.

Sunset and Twilight craned their heads as Luna came around the corner, letting out a great bellowing laugh. And to the mares’ surprise, she wasn’t alone either. She was accompanied by a strange assortment that consisted of two Earth ponies, two pegesi, and one unicorn – and Sunset’s sister was one of them. They all seemed engrossed in conversation that they didn’t notice Twilight and Sunset ahead.

“And I said ‘oatmeal, are you crazy?’” Blossomforth said amidst a giggling crowd. “And then she said – “

“Princess Luna!” Twilight cried. Luna and the ponies stopped in the middle of the hallway as Twilight and Sunset ran up to them. “Thank goodness you’re all right! I was getting so worried about you!”

“Greetings, Twilight Sparkle,” Luna waved cheerfully. “You would not believe the day I’ve had. First I got crushed underneath an obstacle course, got twisted into a pretzel, had my eardrums were nearly shattered, and came dangerously close to crashing into other ponies at breakneck speeds.”

“Oh…really?” Twilight winced, lowering her head fearfully.

“And it has been…one of the best days I’ve had in centuries!” Luna proclaimed, throwing up a hoof in cheer.

“Really?” Sunset blinked, surprised.

“Twilight Sparkle, thank you for giving me the day off,” Luna told the lavender mare gratefully. “I hope you will schedule some more free time in the future.”

“Oh, um, yeah, sure, I can do that,” said Twilight. It didn’t look like she was getting fired, which was a huge relief. “I’ll get started right away.”

“Thank you,” said Luna before turning to Sunset. “Oh, and Sunset, could you tell the servants to add a few more settings at the dinner table tonight.” She looked around at the mares that gathered around her, smiling happily. “I’m inviting a few…friends.”
> The Great and Powerful
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twilight, Starlight, and Moon Dancer were gathered around the west castle courtyard where Trixie’s star-spangled wagon had been parked for the day. The three mares were staring intently at a fresh patch of recently disturbed dirt while Twilight and Moon Dancer were on standby with shovels. Starlight looked apprehensively at the stopwatch in her hoof, groaning.

“How long has she been down there?” asked Moon Dancer.

“Five minutes,” Starlight answered with noticeable concern.

“Do you think she’s all right?” Twilight questioned, biting her hoof. “Maybe we should bring her back up.”

“She told us not to under any circumstances,” Moon Dancer pointed out.

“But what if she passed out from lack of oxygen?” said Twilight.

“Maybe we should take just a little peek?” Starlight suggested nervously.

While the ponies chattered among themselves, nopony noticed Trixie coming up the courtyard walkway, loudly sipping an oat smoothie (with extra hay, just the way Trixie likes it!) The blue showmare trotted up next to Starlight’s left side, staring at the dirt mound with them, still unseen by her fellow Elements.

“What’re you doing?” she asked out loud.

“Trixie asked us to bury her underground and now we’re waiting for her to come back up,” Starlight explained to Trixie, who was grinning with mirth. It took a few seconds for everypony’s brains to catch up, all three spinning their heads to Trixie with dumfounded gazes. “BWAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

“Trixie?!” Twilight gasped, snapping back at forth between the mare and the dirt mound. “But – you – we – how – when – who – why – where – what?!”

“How did you get out?!” thankfully, Moon Dancer spoke Twilight-ese.

“A magician never reveals her secrets,” Trixie proclaimed, lifting her chin proudly.

“But if you’re here,” Starlight pointed at Trixie, then the dirt mound, “then who’s down there?”

Twilight and Moon Dancer exchanged curious glances, then furiously excavated the dirt pile with their shovels. They burrowed into the ground six feet before one of them hit something solid with a loud thump! The mares tossed the shovels aside and used their horns together to levitate an ornate truck large enough to fit a pony comfortably inside. After setting the trunk on the ground, Twilight undid the latches and threw the lid open. She, Starlight, and Moon Dancer jumped back as Spike popped out, leaning over the side taking large desperate gasps of air.

“Spike?” said Twilight, astonished. “How did you get in there?”

“I – don’t – know!” Spike wheezed.

Trixie threw her head back, laughing, as the poor baby dragon slumped sideways and plopped on the ground.

After a few minutes of cleaning up, everypony moved to Trixie’s wagon. Twilight, Starlight, Moon Dancer and Spike were sitting on stools that Trixie had provided at the wagon’s window, while the showmare worked her magic inside. When Trixie popped her head out, she was levitating a tray with four bottles of fizzy colored liquid – her patented Fizzy Fruit Potions! Twilight, Starlight and Moon Dancer took the potions and sipped them with delighted noises, but Spike refused to take his. He was sulking on his stool with his arms crossed in a huff.

“Aw, come on, it was just a little trick,” said Trixie. “You can’t be mad at Trixie forever.” She hovered the Fizzy Fruit Potion under his nose, tempting him. “It’s cherry – your favorite.”

“…I’m still mad at you,” Spike grumbled, but took the potion nonetheless.

“When I first saw you before the whole Daybreaker thing, I didn’t really think much of you,” Twilight admitted to Trixie. “But now that I’ve seen you’re act, it gets more impressive every time.”

“You have to be the greatest stage magician in all of Equestria,” said Starlight.

“Well, Trixie wouldn’t say the best,” said Trixie, leaning on her window sill. “Great? Yes. Powerful? Obviously. But Trixie’s not the best. As great and powerful as Trixie is, there’s one trick Trixie’s never been able to pull off: The Moonshot Manticore Mouth Dive!”

“The Moonshot Manticore Mouth Dive?” Moon Dancer repeated curiously.

“The most amazing and dangerous trick ever performed in ponykind!” Trixie explained enthusiastically. “Only one magician has ever pulled it off: my hero, the Great Hoofdini! You are supposed to blast yourself into the open mouth of a hungry manticore! After the manticore chews you up and swallows you, you magically step out of a box on the other side of the stage! Completely unharmed!”

“That sounds very…,” Starlight started.

“Dangerous?” Twilight remarked.

“I was gonna say cool,” said Starlight.

“I knew we were best friends for a reason,” Trixie chuckled, ducking inside to concoct more Fizzy Fruit Potions. “I don’t know how Hoofdini pulled it off. Experts have verified multiple times that he didn’t use any magic during his performance. If I tried it, I'd get chewed up and swallowed by that manticore.”

“Well, if anypony can figure it out, it’s you,” Moon Dancer complimented. She took the last sip of her potion and set it on the sill. “Can I get a refill – “

“Gangway! Coming through!”

Spike and Mane mares craned their heads to the left, spotting Twilight and Moon Dancer’s foalhood friends of Minuette, Twinkleshine, and Lemon Hearts stampeding their way. While Twinklexhine and Lemon Hearts had the sense to run around the wagon, Minuette bulldozed her way into the Element wielders. Twilight grabbed Spike and teleported away at the last second with Starlight, but Moon Dancer was less fortunate. The bespectacled mare was lifted off her stool and carried along by Minuette, who was still running uncontrollably.

“Augh! Minuette! What’s the big idea?!” Moon Dancer cried.

The overexcited pony seemed to only just realize that Moon Dancer was clinging to her and grounded her hooves to a stop, sending the bespectacled unicorn flying into the grass. Moon Dancer spat out the clumps of dirt that got in her mouth as Twinkleshine and Lemon Hearts helped her up. Twilight, Spike, and Starlight popped back a moment later; Moon Dancer shot them a nasty glare for ditching her like that.

“What’s going on?” Moon Dancer asked her old friends. “Why’re you in such a rush?”

“You mean you haven’t heard?” Lemon Hearts gasped.

“There’s a new pony in town!” Minuette shouted excitedly.

“A new pony?” Twilight repeated, blinking. “What’s the big deal about that?”

“They say she’s the greatest magician in all of Equestria!” Twinkleshine exclaimed.

“WHAT?!?!?!” Trixie screamed, outraged. She slammed her window shutters so hard, the entire wagon shook. The stagemare stomped outside and up to Twinkleshine, nose-to-nose; the mare leaned back fearfully. “Who dares to steal such a coveted title that rightfully belongs to the Great and Powerful Trixie – and on Trixie’s turf no less!”

Twilight pulled Trixie back with her horn and calmly asked, “Where’s this pony now?”

“She’s at the corner of Trottington St. And Trottington Rd!” said Minuette cheered; Starlight’s eye twitched. “Come on!”

Minuette and her friends galloped their way into town. The wielders of the Elements of Harmony looked at one another curiously before following, Trixie notably dragging her hooves and grumbling under her breath.





When the mares arrived at the corner of Trottington St. And Trottington Rd (Oh, look, there goes Starlight’s eye twitch again) there was already a sizable crowd gathered on the intersection. A great stage had been built on sidewalk, much larger and grandiose than Trixie’s wagon. There were spotlights, smog machines, and even posters hanging on either side. Unfortunately, they couldn’t see who the pony on the posters was because the smog was obscuring the face.

The wielders of the Elements reached the edge of the bustling crowd when showers of colorful fireworks exploded in the sky. The crowd shouted and whistled in excitement; Trixie’s mouth twisted into a deep, disapproving frown.

“Looks like you both have a flare for theatrics,” Moon Dancer commented amusingly.

“Trixie’s fireworks are greater and powerfuller!” Trixie huffed. Twilight so desperately wanted to point out everything wrong in that sentence, but the stagemare had already stomped into the crowd. “Come on! Let’s find out which foolish mare has the audacity to think they are superior to the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

Trixie rudely shoved her way through the sea of ponies, who glared and complained, but the blue mare ignored them. She could hear Twilight and the others calling out to her, but Trixie’s single-minded focus was on the stage ahead. She caught a burst of smoke and several pigeons flew over, causing the crowd to cheer and Trixie to scoff. Pigeons? Seriously? That was amateur hour compared to the Great and Powerful Trixie!

Trixie was almost to the front; she could see the edge of the stage and somepony’s hooves between the gap in the crowd. But then somepony stepped on Trixie’s cape, nearly choking the showmare as it tugged against her neck. Trixie reached over and attempted to pull the fabric free, but whoever was standing on it was very heavyset. After maybe three or four tugs, Trixie managed to herself free, but the jerking motion caused her to fly through the crowd and flop on her stomach at the front.

The crowd went silent, staring at Trixie. The showmare grimaced as she propped herself up to her elbows when a set of hooves stepped in her line of sight. 

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” a haughty voice called out.

Trixie tilted her head back and stared into the face of a gray-coated unicorn mare with a slicked mane and tail, grinning condescendingly down at Trixie. With her sharply-tailored tuxedo and top hat, Trixie could not deny that she fit the profile of a stereotypical stage magician.

But it was her eyes and Cutie Mark that brought a flash of recognition in Trixie’s eyes. The Element of Laughter rose to her hooves, her surprised expression morphing into righteous anger. The gray mare kept smiling with a aura of superiority.



“You…,” Trixie breathed harshly.

“Looks like the rumors were true,” said the gray mare. “You have settled down in Canterlot. It’s been a while, Trixie.”

“Charmy…” Trixie hissed.

Twilight, Moon Dancer, Starlight, and Spike had reached the front of the crowd when they noticed Trixie glaring a hole into Charmy’s face. The gray stagemare, for her part, seemed nonchalant about it.

“Wait, you two know each other?” Starlight asked Trixie curiously.

“Everypony, this is Charmy,” Trixie introduced begrudgingly, gesturing a hoof to the opposition. “This biggest lying, cheating, doesn’t-deserve-to-stand-on-stage pony this side of Salt Lick City.”

“That’s rich coming from a third-rate hack like you!” Charmy sneered, her cool attitude turning nasty quickly. “I have more talent in my back hoof than you have in your whole body.”

“If that’s true, you wouldn’t have needed to cheat, would you?” Trixie smugly.

“I – you – that is – “Charmy sputtered, jolting back like she had been slapped in the face. She snorted angrily and growled, “That was a long time ago! I’m waaay better now than when we were fillies!”

“I’ll believe it when I see it!” Trixie snapped.

“Whoa, whoa, okay, everypony to their corners!” Starlight jumped in between the stagemares and had to physically separate them. When it looked like they weren't going to throttle each other, she asked Trixie, “Could we get a little backstory on this?”

“Yeah, how do you know each other?” Moon Dancer asked.

“And for that matter, why do you hate each other?” said Twilight.

Trixie straightened herself up proper and said in a dignified voice, “Trixie never told you the story of how she came to be called the Great and Powerful, did she?”

“That’s just something you made up yourself, isn’t it?” said Spike.

“No, you philistine!” Trixie huffed. “A magician’s stage name is earned from the mentor they trained under, passing the title down from one generation to the next. And make no mistake: Trixie did earn it. Unlike somepony,” she added, shooting a look at Charmy, who glared in return.

“What does this have to do with you and Charmy?” asked Twilight.

“Trixie is getting to that!” Trixie snapped. “Sheesh, no appreciation for storytelling. Now let’s see…,” She tapped her chin, staring off into space reminiscently. “It all started back when Trixie was just a filly…”





A little filly version of Trixie cantered down the long, winding road through the hillside, her wizard’s hat and cape much too big for a pony of her size, but she wore them with pride. Her wagon back then was little more than a yellow box with a red roof and a hoofpainted hanging sign of her Cutie Mark. The future stagemare climbed to the crest of the biggest hill yet, wiping the sweat from her brow, when she saw her next destination ahead: A bustling little city nestled on the shore of the North Luna Ocean.

“It was just a few short weeks after Trixie was kicked – I mean, left – Princess Luna’s School for Gifted Unicorns,” Trixie narrated. “Trixie was just a young filly back then with nothing but the clothes on Trixie’s back and Trixie’s first wagon that she bought at a yard sale. Trixie had crossed the Unicorn Range and arrived at the first of many stops on Trixie’s journey: Vanhoover.”

Trixie walked down the Vanhoover streets with her head hanging low, skittish of her surroundings. The city was a much bigger place than Canterlot, and nosier. The ponies were so much taller, it felt like they could stomp her under their hooves like a bug. Taxi carriages zoomed past at dangerous speeds, yelling at Trixie and her wagon for getting in the way.

“The big city was scary for a little filly, but Trixie was determined. Trixie had heard rumors that a famous magician performed in Vanhoover and Trixie needed to see him for herself. And thanks to Trixie’s good fortune, Trixie was able to find him on her first day.”

Filly Trixie noticed a crowd gathered around a large stage settled between an insurance company and a dynamite store. Trixie unfastened herself from the wagon and approached the crowd, using her small size to weave through the forest of hooves. When she popped out in the front of the crowd, Trixie tilted her head back at the stage. Her eyes fell on a handsome, mustachioed stallion in a crisp tuxedo and top hat, a great sapphire gemstone pinned to lapel.

He waved his hoof theatrically as colorful fireworks exploded in the sky, flying dangerously close to the dynamite store. 

“The Great and Powerful Presto – one of the best stage stallions of the previous generation and a member of the Starmane Society of Magicians. After watching one performance, Trixie knew that the Great and Powerful Presto must be Trixie’s mentor. Unfortunately, Trixie wasn’t the only one who had the idea.”

After a stunning performance, the crowd started to dissipate, chatting enthusiastically about the show. But Trixie stayed where she was, starry-eyed and smiling from ear-to-ear. Presto took notice of the tiny filly, offering her a kind smile and held out his hoof, inviting her up to the stage. Trixie gasped and reached out…when she was rudely shoved aside and fell to the ground. Gritting her teeth angrily, Trixie spun around to find another filly taking Presto’s hoof and climbing onto the stage, much to the stallion’s bewilderment. The filly looked down at Trixie with a cocky grin.

It was filly Charmy.

“Charmy also wanted to learn from the Great and Powerful Presto. We both had Cutie Marks tied to stage magic, so we both wanted to learn from the best. In his endless generosity, the Great and Powerful Presto took us both in.”

Presto and his apprentices were on stage at the Vanhoover Theater, the prestigious stallion showing them the tricks of the trade. He stared with a single bit, which he held up to show them, and then, with a wave of his hoof, it vanished into thin air. Presto then reached behind Trixie’s ear and pulled out the missing bit. Trixie gasped and clapped her hooves; Charmy rolled her eyes.

The experienced stage stallion gestured for them to give it a try, handing them each a bit. Charmy performed the trick like it was routine, waving her hoof and making the coin disappear, only to make it reappear behind Presto’s ear. But when Trixie made the coin disappear and reached behind Presto’s ear, a small pile of bits cascaded on the stage like a waterfall. Presto was taken aback, doubtlessly impressed, while Charmy’s jaw dropped to the floor.

Flashing forward a bit, Presto waved his magic wand for Trixie and Charmy before making it explode into a colorful bouquet of flowers. Charmy performed similarly and met with the same result, but when Trixie waved her wand, it sprouted a rainbow-flowered wreath with a pair of singing doves.

Flashing forward again, Presto showed the fillies how to pull a rabbit out of his top hat. After her previous failings against Trixie, Charmy decided to take it a step further and pulled out three rabbits at once. Charmy looked quite smug…until Trixie reached into her wizard’s hat and pulled out a very confused yak, who chased Charmy with his bellowing cries.

“Trixie admits that Charmy was good, but Trixie was just a little better. Trixie could tell that Charmy loathed Trixie’s skill, but Trixie didn’t care; she was only looking out for Trixie.

“After eight months of training, it was time for our final test: The Water Escape Trick.”

Presto held a stopwatch as he watched his apprentices flail furiously to escape. Trixie and Charmy were both suspended by their hindlegs with their front hooves pinned to their chests by straightjackets with several chains and padlocks, all while being submerged in a tank of water.

“Whoever succeeded in escaping first earned the privilege of inheriting the Great and Powerful Presto’s Great and Powerful title.”

“And that was you, right?” Twilight cut into the story.

“Actually, no,” Trixie admitted.

The fillies kept thrashing inside the tanks under Presto's critical eye. But after a few minutes, Charmy succeeded in pulling the straightjacket over her head, freeing her front hooves and reaching for the clasps around her hindlegs. Trixie only just got loose of her own straightjacket when Charmy climbed out of the tank and landed safely onto the stage, breathing heavy but overall satisfied. She looked down at Trixie arrogantly as the blue filly flopped on the floor, looking downcast at her failure.

Trixie pulled on her hat and cape dejectedly when Presto approached his students with an unreadable expression they had never seen before. He looked them over for a short moment, then plucked the large gemstone from his lapel, holding it up in reverence.

Charmy puffed out her chest proudly…until Presto pinned it to the clasp of Trixie’s cape. Both fillies were understandably shocked.

Charmy started yelling at Presto, outraged, until the stallion shot her with a disapproving look and pointed to the straightjacket that Trixie escaped. Unlike Charmy’s, the padlocks on Trixie’s straightjacket were still locked. And as Presto levitated one of them, he made an effort to show that they couldn’t be released because they had been glued shut.

“Charmy was the first to escape, but Trixie inherited the Great and Powerful Presto’s title,” Trixie continued. “Charmy had tampered with Trixie’s chains before the trick and cheated to win. The Great and Powerful Presto did not tolerate Charmy’s underhanded ways and promptly expelled her.”

Presto pointed his hoof toward the door, shooting down a dark look at his former apprentice. Charmy gnashed her teeth, shouting vengeance at him and Trixie, before she turned tail and ran. She stopped at the threshold and turned back to Trixie, leering, who returned it in kind, before slamming the door behind her.





“Trixie hasn’t seen Charmy since,” Trixie concluded, exchanging glares with her archrival. “Trixie had hoped the cheating scoundrel had quit the stage. What’s this about you claiming to be the greatest magician in Equestria?” she asked Charmy, pointing an accusing hoof. “False advertisement is a crime, you know?”

“Oh, it’s no lie,” said Charmy haughtily. “After I was wrongfully dismissed – “

“Um, you cheated,” Spike pointed out.

“And during a very dangerous stunt, too,” Twilight added.

“Trixie could’ve died,” Starlight continued.

“ANYWAY!” Charmy howled irritably. She quickly composed herself and said, “After I was…let go…I moved on to greener pastures. I traveled across Equestria, learning from the greatest masters of the mystic arts, astounding great scores of ponies with my perilous feats of prestidigitation – “

“So basically, you’re a rehashed version of Trixie,” Moon Dancer commented.

“WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?!?!?!” Charmy screamed, her mane becoming frayed and her eye twitching uncontrollably. She coughed into her hoof and brushed back her mane. “Anyway, during that strange incident with the sun a few weeks ago, I started hearing rumors about ‘The Great and Powerful Trixie’ being part of this ‘Mane 6’ group and that she had settled down in Canterlot. Naturally, I had to come see it for myself.”

“Well, you’ve seen me,” said Trixie rudely, pointing down the road. “Don’t let the gates hit you on the way out.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Charmy declared with a devilish grin, leaning into Trixie’s personal space. “I don’t know what you did to earn a respectable reputation – “

“Well, first, she helped saved Equestria from burning to death – “ Twilight started until a giant cork magically plugged her mouth.

“But I’ve come to claim what is rightfully mine: the title of Great and Powerful!” Charmy declared dramatically. “And for that, I challenge you, Trixie…to a magician’s duel! The winner will be forever known as the Great and Powerful!”

The audience who had been silently watching the exchange play out let out a synchronized dramatic gasp…even though none of them had any idea what they were talking about.

“What’s a magician’s duel?” Spike asked curiously while trying to pull the cork out of Twilight’s mouth.

“It is a challenge of skill between two stage magicians,” Trixie explained with a theatrical swish of her cape. “A contest where both participants perform one trick each. Whoever pulls off the best trick wins. Not that the Great and Powerful Trixie intends to accept it. Trixie earned stage name fair – and – square.” Trixie poked Charmy’s chest to emphasize each word. “So there is no point is facing a dirty cheater like Charmy.”

“Aw, is widdle Twixie scawed?” Charmy mocked in a babyish voice.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie is above such petty insults,” Trixie turned her flank to Charmy with her chin held high. “Trixie will not be goaded into – “ Charmy made a single clucking noise. Trixie spun around, pointing her hoof angrily, and yelled, “You’re on!”

“Who else saw that coming?” Starlight asked sarcastically, raising her hoof with Twilight, Moon Dancer, and Spike.

Charmy climbed the stairs to the stage with Trixie scowling behind, the ponies of Canterlot muttering excitedly; the wielders of the Elements exchanged worrisome glances. Charmy coughed importantly into her hoof and spoke in a loud, bellowing voice:

“Fillies and gentlecolts! You have been given the good fortune of witnessing a rare spectacle for the ages! A magician’s duel between two talented stagemares, right here in Canterlot!” She paused to let the ponies get in their cheers. She knew how to work a crowd, Trixie begrudgingly admitted. “Today, I, Charmy, prominent practitioner of the prestidigitation, shall face off against Canterlot’s hometown hero, Trixie!”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie!” Trixie shouted.

“The rules are simple,” Charmy explained. “We will each perform one trick, and whoever performs the best shall earn the prestigious reward of being named the Great and Powerful!

“And to make this challenge more interesting!” She added, levitating a pair of metal rings embedded with red gemstones from behind the stage curtains. “We shall be wearing these magic suppressing cuffs! These tools are used by professional police ponies to detain unicorn criminals from using their magic! This will prove undoubtedly that what you are about see is genuine stage magic!” She gave a snide chuckle as she held out one of the rings to Trixie. “That won’t be a problem, will it?”

“Hmph! You can do whatever you like!” Trixie huffed. She took the ring roughly and jammed it on her horn determinedly. She felt uncomfortably lightheaded as her magic was suppressed, but she didn’t let it show. “You will never be able to match the superior ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

“You won’t be saying that much longer…,” Charmy muttered cryptically as she slipped her own ring on. “As the challenger, I have the right to perform first! And for my trick, I’m going to need a volunteer from the audience!” The ponies in the crowd started jumping up with their hooves raised eagerly; Spike was among them until Trixie shot him a nasty look. “You there! Come up, my good stallion!”

A sky-blue-coated stallion with a smokey Cutie Mark approached the stage from the right, amidst the disappointed grumbles of the audience. He smiled sheepishly as he took his place beside Charmy, who waved theatrically at him.

“And what is your name, my fine sir?” she asked.

“Er, Misdirection,” the stallion said.

“Yeah, that’s not suspicious at all?” said Moon Dancer sarcastically.

“Mphm-mphm-mphm” Twilight voiced her muffled opinion, her mouth still corked shut.

“Well, Misdirection, prepare to reach for the sky!” shouted Charmy dramatically. “For I will do the impossible! I shall transform a simple earth pony…into a pegasus!” The crowd broke out in excited chatters as Charmy brought out a large red sheet from behind the curtain and draped it over Misdirection. She made a show of rolling up her tuxedo sleeves. “As you can see, there is nothing up my sleeves. And with just a wave of my hoof…. ALAKAZOOM!”

Charmy waved her hooves in circles, which seemed nonsensical at first, until she ripped away the sheet. The audience gasped, even Twilight and the others. The stallion on stage had seemingly grown wings – actual functioning wings that he stretched reflexively. Misdirection gasped excitedly as he started flapping his new appendages, hovering a few inches off the ground as proof.

“Ta-da!” said Charmy as the audience clapped and whistled with praise. Feeling proud and accomplished, she shot a look at Trixie, who was clapping politely. “What do you think of that, Trixie?”

“That was good, Charmy,” said Trixie, nodded. “Very good. If a little obvious.”

“Excuse me?” said Charmy, brow raised.

“You’re trick – it’s so obvious,” Trixie stated amusingly. “At least to a master magician like Trixie. You planted that stallion in the audience ahead of time, pretending to pick him out of the crowd, while you had a similar-looking stallion waiting backstage.” She pulled back the curtain, revealing the earth pony Misdirection as he was about to take a bite out of a cupcake. The audience gasped again. Trixie swiped her hoof across Misdirection’s flank, smudging his Cutie Mark. “You even painted matching Cutie Marks. Adorable.”

The Audience’s cheer quickly turned sour, muttering their dissatisfaction. Charmy gnashed her teeth furiously, but took a deep breath through her nose and calmed.

“All right, then, how about you show us what you can do?” Charmy challenged.

“With pleasure,” said Trixie confidently and called, “Spike, bring Trixie her flute and wicker basket!”

In two seconds, the reliable dragon had brought the items requested on stage (“Wait, where did I find these?” he asked himself) and shuffled off. Trixie sat cross-hoofed across the basket, setting her hat aside, and brought the flute to her lips.

“And now, for your entertainment: The Saddle Arabian Snake Charmer!” Trixie announced theatrically.

Trixie started playing a catchy oriental tune with the flute, her eyes closed like she was at one with the world. The lid of the wicker basket twitched before it slowly began to rise. Several ponies took a cautious step back, expecting to see live snakes slithering out. Instead, it was only a long string of rope, swaying side-to-side like it was dancing, seemingly of its own volition. The crowd ‘oohed’ and clapped quietly, not wanting to break her concentration. The fact that she was making the rope move with her magic suppressed only made it more impressive.

Trixie changed the tempo and the rope slithered across the air, twisting itself into the outlines of various shapes. First it resembled a dancing pony, then it became a ferocious dragon, then a prancing reindeer, and finished with the unmistakable shape of Canterlot’s princess.

It seemed like Trixie was poised for an easy victory. Her trick was much more elaborate and harder to explain than Charmy’s. But while all eyes were on the blue stagemare, Starlight noticed something that was strangely out of place: Charmy was smiling.

Starlight’s gasped quietly when she saw Charmy’s horn illuminate with a violet aura. But that should be impossible, Starlight thought. The rings should be keeping their magic contained! But when she looked across the stage, that same violet aura had taken over Trixie’s rope. The rope unraveled itself and reared at Trixie like an angry cobra. The Element of Laughter was too caught up in her act that she didn’t notice anything strange until the rope snapped at her flank.

“YEOW!” Trixie yelped, jumping up and rubbing the sore spot. She faced the rope-snake as it swayed threateningly. “Hey, what’s the big idea?!”

The rope lunged at Trixie, trying itself around the mare’s hooves and into a tight knot. Trixie wobbled in place until the rope pulled up, flipping the stagemare and smacking the back of her skull on the stage. The crowd pointed and guffawed at Trixie’s embarrassment; everypony except Trixie’s loyal friends, who looked at one another with suspicious glances.

Trixie gritted her teeth as she struggled to break her bonds to no avail. Then a dark shadow fell over and Trixie had the displeasure of seeing Charmy’s arrogant sneer above.

“Well, that was certainly…interesting,” Charmy said aloud, delighted. “But it looks like you still have a lot to learn about being a Great and Powerful magician.” She reached from the gemstone on Trixie’s clasp. “I’ll just hold on to this for a while – “

“Hold it right there!”

The opposing stagemare was pushed sharply away from Trixie, sliding across the stage with her hoof still outstretched. Starlight jumped onto the stage with her horn glowing and her eyes narrowed dangerously. Moon Dancer, Twilight and Spike joined her shortly. Spike used his claws to cut Trixie free, earning the mare’s gratitude. Starlight pointed her hoof and shouted:

“She cheated! I saw it! She used her magic to sabotage Trixie!”

The crowd gasped. Charmy made a ‘tch’ noise, and said, “No way. No way. That’s totally a lie. I couldn’t have used magic because I have this magic suppression ring on my horn.” She pointed at the ring to emphasize the point.

“I know what I saw!” Starlight snapped. “You used magic to mess Trixie up! The only explanation is that your wearing a fake ring!”

“Oh please, she’s just making up stuff because they’re a bunch of sour losers,” Charmy told the audience, scoffing. “Both rings are 100% authentic. I got them from a friend at the Manehatten police department. Can you prove they’re not real, huh?”

“Mphm-mphm-mphm-mphm!” Twilight garbled something nopony could understand. Moon Dancer finally had the sense to uncork her friend; the lavender mare gasped in relief. “Thank you. As I was saying: my brother, Shining Armor, is captain of Princess Luna’s royal guard. Everypony here knows him, right?” She asked the audience.

The ponies in the crowd mumbled and nodded in agreement. Shining Armor was a respected name in Canterlot and everypony loved him, which meant they also knew about his relation to Twilight. Charmy took a step back, sweating lightly. She certainly wasn’t expecting this bit of information.

“We could have him come down here and verify the rings himself,” Twilight suggested. “That’s not a problem, is it, Charmy?”

Anypony who looked at her could tell it was a problem. The gray stagemare looked back and forth between the Mane 4 and the crowd, which was starting to look mistrustful of Charmy. The stagemare gulped loudly.

“Oh…well…let’s just call this a draw then,” Charmy suggested nervously, shuffling away. “I really must be going. Lot’s to do, ponies to see – you understand, right?”

But Trixie wasn’t going to let her get away that easily. She threw a smoke bomb at her hooves and disappeared, then reappeared in front of Charmy, cutting her off.

“Hold it, you dirty cheater!” Trixie snarled. “We’re not through yet!”

“Oh, come on, Trixie,” said Charmy. “Let’s just call it a draw and – “

“Trixie will not call it a draw! You cheated!” Trixie roared. “We must settle this once and for all, and we’ll settle this on Trixie’s terms! Trixie challenges you to a magician’s duel, Charmy!”

“And why should I even consider accept?” Charmy retorted.

“Because suspicion has been cast upon you, Charmy,” said Trixie. “And here in Canterlot, even the smallest rumors can destroy a pony’s reputation, whether they are true or not. If you run away now, everypony in Equestria will think you’re a lying, cheating snake – which you are. You’ll have a hard time finding work after that.”

Charmy grimaced, turning her gaze from her rival to the ponies in the crowd, all of them looking at Charmy in disapproval.

“Grr…fine,” Charmy agreed begrudgingly. “Name the time and place.”

“West castle courtyard – three hours from now,” said Trixie. “Be there, or be a wheel.”

“The proper phrase is ‘be there, or be square.’” Charmy corrected.

“No, squares are Trixie’s favorite shape,” Trixie announced happily. “But Trixie doesn’t trust wheels.”

“Is anypony gonna point at that her wagon is – GURK!” Starlight choked as Trixie trotted by with a hoof around the lilac mare’s throat.

“Come, Starlight Glimmer, we must prepare!” Trixie announced loudly.

“I can – GURK – walk myself!” Starlight gasped.

Charmy stared at the back of Trixie’s departing form with a prickle of apprehension in her chest. She hadn't expected to get caught in the act when she had pulled it off dozens of times before. Trixie's new friends weren't ordinary unicorns. Deep down, Charmy knew she couldn’t be Trixie in a fair duel, and she can’t sabotage the mare in the open like last time.

So she’ll just sabotage things from behind the scenes, Charmy thought with a wicked chuckle.





“That no-good, dirty, lying, cheating mare,” Trixie grumbled under her breath as she and Starlight approached her wagon. “Humiliating Trixie is such an undignified manner. Well, Trixie will show her! Trixie will win the duel, and she will do it fair and square!”

The blue stagemare walked up to her door when she slid open a secret panel next to the knob, revealing a shiny red button. Trixie pushed the button and stepped back as her wagon performed a complex transformation sequence into a grand stage complete with spotlights, a star-patterned curtain, and a wavy banner that said, “The Great and Powerful Trixie.”

Starlight blinked, and asked, “Are you sure your wagon isn’t a robot in disguise?”

“No time for silly questions!” Trixie yelled, disappearing behind the curtain. After a few seconds of waiting, she came back dragging a trunk across the stage. “We need to set up for the performance with which Trixie will defeat Charmy.”

“And what trick are you going perform?” asked Starlight.

“The same trick that earned Trixie her stage name: the water escape trick,” said Trixie with a proud grin. “Not only will it help Trixie win the duel, but it will also remind Charmy of how she washed out and became a nobody while Trixie went on to greatness!”

“You’re just a little evil, aren’t you?” said Starlight amusingly.

“Just a little,” said Trixie, giggling. “And this time, Charmy won’t be able to cheat. I’ve locked all the equipment I’ll need in this secure trunk.” She patted the trunk, gesturing to the giant padlock on the front. “Now come help Trixie set up the tank. We’ll use the water from Princess Luna’s private pond. I’m sure she won’t mind.”

Trixie and Starlight walked off stage left, leaving the trunk unattended. It was the perfect opportunity for a certain sompeony to strike.

Charmy poked her head out cautiously from her hiding spot behind the stage and scanned the area. Trixie and Starlight were nowhere to be seen. Perfect. The gray stagemare trotted up the stairs and rolled across the stage like she was in an action film. She searched the area again. All clear. She examined the trunk’s padlock, scoffing.

“Did she really think this could keep me out?” said Charmy. “And she called me amateur hour.”

Charmy's horn illuminated with a violet aura, aiming it toward the padlock. The aura enveloped the lock, and after a few seconds, the mechanism released with a soft click. She discarding the lock, undid the latches, and threw the lid wide open.

“Now, let’s see what we – “

But as the cheating showmare leaned over the trunk, her eyebrows flew up to her mane when she saw that the space was nearly empty. All that was inside was a boxing glove pointed up. Charmy scratched her head, very much confused, and leaned in closer for a better look. The next thing she knew, the glove jumped at her and – 

BAM!





“Oooh, my head…” Charmy moaned in a daze. “Wha – what happened…?”

As the daze began to wear off and her vision cleared, Charmy became aware of three things at once. One: She was on a large hill several yards away from Trixie’s stage, which was now crowded with dozens of loud, excitable ponies. Two: she couldn’t move her hooves; somepony had tied her up and stuffed inside a cylinder of sorts. Three: she couldn’t use her magic; something was cutting off the flow of energy to her horn and was making her lightheaded.

“Well, well, look who’s awake.” Charmy gasped and looked around at Starlight’s smug grin. “That’s what you get for trying to cheat.”

“Wha – what is this?!” Charmy screamed. “Let me out of here! I demand – “

“Shh!” Starlight hushed her. “The show’s starting.”

They both looked ahead as the curtains on Trixie’s stage parted with a drumroll and the blue showmare herself stepped out to be greeted with a glorious applause.

“Thank you, thank you, fillies and gentlecolts!” Trixie shouted theatrically, her voice carrying across the hills. “Come one! Come all! Come see the greatest show on Equestia! Now, Trixie know everypony here came to see a duel between two magicians. But after a very brief discussion, there’s been a change in plan. Instead of going against each other, Trixie’s dear, dear friend Charmy has agreed to perform with Trixie instead!”

“What?!” Charmy yelled, going unheard by the cheering crowd. “I never – “

A cork magically appeared in the showmare’s mouth via Starlight Glimmer. A little payback for Twilight.

“Prepare to be amazed as the Great and Powerful Trixie and her dear friend Charmy performs a death-defying feat not seen in many moons!” Trixie continued. “Behold, your fears come true!”

With a gesture of her hooves, the curtains raised behind her. Everypony gasped in terror and jostled back. Upon the stage was a ferocious beast with the body of a lion, the wings and horns of a dragon, and the tail of a scorpion. The beast roared and lunged at Trixie, but its reach came up short due to the chain around its neck. In the front of the audience, Lemon Hearts shivered and coward behind Twinkleshine. Trixie pretended not to notice the monster slashing its claws at her flank.

“That’s right! A pony-eating manticore, straight from the Everfree Forest!” Trixie continued. “For today, we shall be performing a slight alteration to the famous Moonshot Manticore Mouth Dive performed by the Great Hoofdini! Instead of Trixie shooting herself into the Manticore’s mouth, her generous and kind-hearted friend Charmy has agreed to be shot instead!”

Charmy stiffened with fright. She was just now realizing that the cylinder was actually a cannon. The showmare thrashed all around despite the pointlessness of her attempt. Starlight giggled amusingly.

“Trixie’s fellow stagemare has entrusted Trixie to wrest her from the Manticore’s jaws of doom,” Trixie announced, waving a hoof to a box on the opposite side of the stage, “and appear safely in this black box! And we shall both be performing…without magic!” Trixie removed her hat, revealing the metal ring on her horn. “As you can see, we are both wearing authentic magic suppression rings provided by the captain of the royal guard! Thanks, Shining Armor!”

“I’m gonna need those back when you’re done!” Somepony yelled in the back.

That explains why she can’t feel her magic, Charmy thought as she flailed three times harder.

“And now, the time has come!” Trixie announced dramatically, waving a hoof to the hill. “Launch the cannon!”

From her place on the hill, Starlight gave a hearty salute and ignited the cannon’s wick with her horn. With some impressive mouth work, Charmy spat out the cork and breathed erratically.

“Y – You don‘t have to do this!” Charmy pleaded. “I’ll give you anything you want! Money?! My hat?! Is this because I cheated?! I admit it! I cheated! I’ll tell all of Equetria that I’m a dirty cheater! Just get me out of this thing!!!”

“You know what they say, Charmy,” said Starlight, grinning. “The show must go on.”

Charmy opened her mouth, likely to beg more, but whatever she was going to say was lost in her throat as she was launched into the air, her coat smelling like gunpowder. The audience watched in trepidation as the gray showmare soared above their heads, screaming at the top of her lungs. Charmy flew directly into the Manticore’s open mouth, its cheeks stuffed and a genuinely look of surprise in its eyes. Then, the Manticore swallowed Charmy whole, exhaling a loud belch and Charmy’s top hat that landed at Trixie’s hooves.

The crowd gasped horrifically; Lemon Hearts fainted. Trixie picked up the top hat, giving it a once over, then tossed it over her shoulder.

“It appears that my fellow magician has been consumed by the Manticore!” Trixie declared with a dramatic sigh. “Or has she?” She rose on her hindlegs and waved her hooves at the black box. “One…two…TRIXIE!”

A cloud of smoke exploded inside the box, followed by the walls collapsing, revealing a disoriented Charmy. Her mane was a mess, her tuxedo was disheveled, and she could barely stand on her hooves, but she was very much alive.

“Behold, the Peat and Growerful Shoomy…” Charmy mumbled dizzily.

The crowd went silent for a single beat…then exploded into an Equestria-shaking roar of applause. The screams even roused Lemon Hearts from her black out. Trixie grinned victoriously and gave a gracious bow to the crowd. She then faced Charmy, who drunkenily stumbled across the stage and woozily stood up to her rival with an unfocused glare.

“Your…,” Charmy babbled. “You’re desssspicable….”

Charmy’s eyes rolled to the back of her head and she collapsed, unconscious. Trixie shrugged her shoulder’s nonchalantly and continued bowing to the audience.

“Oh man, that was awesome!” Spike cheered from the front row.

“How did she do it?” Twilight wondered. “I authenticated both rings with Shiny. Neither of them should have been able to use magic.”

“Good luck figuring that out,” Moon Dancer commented. “A magician never reveals her secrets.”

As she rose from her bow, Trixie looked up to the hillside at Starlight Glimmer, whose horn was still glowing with magic, completely unnoticed by the crowd. Starlight and Trixie exchanged knowing and amused smiles.

It was good to have Great and Powerful friends.
> I Dream of Moon Dancer
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Moon Dancer laid herself out on a grassy hillside underneath the shade of her favorite tree (the tree where Twilight used to spend hours studying under during their time in school.) A musty and slightly torn tome was open at her hooves, her eyes rolling over the slightly smudged text. The book was one that she had retrieved from the restricted section of the Canterlot Library. Moon Dancer had spent countless hours exploring the underground catacombs when she wasn’t at work. Partly to sate her own curious nature, and partly hoping to spend time with Twilight.

It was during her latest exploration that she came across this gem: “The Dark Side of the Moon by Wanning Gibbous.” It was a detailed journal about the properties of the moon, theories of where it came from and how it was created, the effects it has on Equestria, and even a few tiny articles on Moon Magic.

Moon Dancer had longed to learn Moon Magic ever since she discovered her special connection to the celestial body as a filly when her Cutie Mark appeared. But Moon and Sun Magic were extremely rare – very few are born with the talent, and even fewer actually have the sense to write anything down. Moon Dancer had hoped that she could learn from Princess Luna now that she was a hero of Equestria, but she never had the chance due to Luna’s busy schedule and her own nerves. Hopefully the Grand Galloping Gala will yield some results, but that won’t be for a long while.

Moon Dancer flipped the page with her horn and  read aloud:

“’– theorized that while Sun Magic is intangible by nature, Moon Magic is capable of becoming tangible in the form of dark matter. Based on my own research, Moon Magic can be shaped into solid mass by compressing the negative mana into a single focused point, as opposed to the natural positive mana used by common unicorns.’ Hmm…compressing negative mana. I never would have thought of that. Let’s give it a try.”

The bespectacled pony rose to her hooves, taking another look at the text before making her attempt. Moon Dancer took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and focused all the magic in her horn. Rather than using the normal magic she was accustomed to, Moon Dancer tried inverting the energy, which was a lot more difficult than she realized. If she were to describe it, she would say the magic was “heavy." But all her hard work bore fruit as a black-and-blue blob the size of her hoof started to take shape in the air.

Moon Dancer opened her eyes partially to get a better look at the shape. The dark matter was unstable, but Moon Dancer felt confident that she could make it work. But while she was in the middle of her attempt, the surrounding area suddenly darkened at an alarming rate.

Moon Dancer gasped; her dark matter creation vanished with a quirky pop! As she scanned the area, she realized the sudden darkness had not only fell over the hillside, but stretched all the way to Canterlot and even Princess Luna’s castle. According to Moon Dancer’s watch, it was still one in the afternoon; much too early for Princess Luna to be lowering the sun.

There was only one logical explanation for this:

“Oh no! I broke the sun!” Moon Dancer cried. “I’m gonna get in so much trouble for this!”

…okay, there’s two logical explanations for this.

As Moon Dancer walked out from under the tree, she looked to the sky and realized that the sun wasn’t broken, but was being blotted out by a thick cover of black smoke. The bespectacled unicorn had never seen so much smoke, especially not enough to cover the entire sky. Was there a giant fire somewhere nearby? Had the Smokey Mountains finally erupted? Or was this the work of some kind of…anti-Daybreak?

Moon Dancer could hear the panicked cries of the ponies in town, no doubt coming to the same realization as her.

“This is bad! This is really, really bad!” Moon Dancer panicked. “I need to warn somepony! I need to – “

“Moon Dancer!” The Bespectacled unicorn stopped her fretting and turned as Starlight and Trixie came galloping down the road. “Did you see that huge cloud of smoke?!”

“It's kind of hard not to notice,” Moon Dancer retorted.

“Trixie and Starlight Glimmer were in town,” Trixie explained frantically, “Once again putting that no-good Charmy in her place when – “

“Hey!” And speak of the pony, Charmy galloped up behind the heroes, much to the annoyance of a certain stagemare. She pointed an accusing hoof at Trixie and shouted, “We haven’t finished our duel yet!”

“As much as Trixie would love to pummel you for the fourth day in a row,” Trixie groaned, rolling her eyes, “Trixie has bigger issues to deal with than Charmy.”

“Hah! That means you forfeit!” Charmy shouted victoriously. “Let it be forever known that I, Charmy, prestigious practitioner of prestidigitation, have bested the – “

Starlight and Trixie exchanged blank stares before Starlight's horn glowed. Charmy was ripped off the ground with a surprised yelp, then Trixie dragged her favorite trunk out from who knows where underneath. Starlight tossed the gray stagemare into the trunk and the Trixie locked it with chains before Starlight zapped it away.

“As Trixie was saying – “ Trixie continued, not even addressing the strangeness that just occurred.

But the stagemare was cut off once again when a strange tingling sensation ran up their spines simultaneously.

“Uh-oh, I know that feeling…,” Moon Dancer shivered.

“Here we go again,” Starlight groaned.

And just like that, the three of them disappeared in flashes of orange light –





- and reappeared inside Princess Luna’s throne room seconds later. Starlight wobbled on her hooves, disoriented, while Trixie collapsed on her front. The bespectacled unicorn shook her head free of her own minor dizziness and looked ahead as the magic receded from Sunset Shimmer’s horn.

It was unsurprising to see Sunset standing on the right side of Princess Luna’s throne – the regal alicorn sitting tall and imposing upon it – while Twilight stood on her left looking deeply concerned. Tempest, Spike, and Grubber were at  the base of the throne, apparently waiting for the remaining trio.

“You really need to stop doing that,” Starlight groaned, pointing at Sunset.

“Sorry,” Sunset apologized sheepishly. “Just thought it’d be quicker this way.”

“Regardless of the method, I am glad you are all here,” said Luna; everypony straightened up the moment the words fell from her lips, almost like instinct. “Equestria is facing a terrible crisis.”

“Does it have anything to do with that ominous smoke cloud outside?” asked Tempest, gesturing to the windows.

“I’m afraid it has everything to do with it,” said Luna, frowning. “The black smoke has covered the skies of Canterlot and will soon be spreading across all of Equestria.”

“If the smoke blocks out the sun for too long, it will have negative side effects on Equestria’s ecosystem,” explained Twilight fearfully. “Ponies will no longer be able to grow crops, which will lead to a lot of starving ponies. Not to mention the depleting oxygen levels if all the flowers and trees die. We could be facing an extinction level event.”

“Like the dinosaurs!” Grubber shouted enthusiastically. Tempest smacked him over the head. “Ow!”

“Can’t we just get some pegesi to move the clouds?” Starlight suggested.

“I’m afraid this smoke is not normal by nature,” said Luna. “The cause is neither a fire nor a malfunction at the Cloudsdale factory. I fear that this smoke is caused by…a dragon.”

All eyes instantly turned to Spike.

“Hey, don’t look at me!” said Spike, insulted.

“What in the name of Star Swirl is a full-grown dragon doing in Equestria?” questioned Moon Dancer.

“Sleeping,” Sunset answered simply.

“Huh?/What?/Come again?” the Mane 6 muttered while sharing bewildered looks.

“According to Shining Armor’s scouts, there is a massive dragon sleeping on Mount Everhoof in the Frozen North,” Sunset explained seriously. “His snoring is what’s causing the black smoke.”

“He should really see a doctor about that,” Trixie commented. “That doesn’t sound healthy.”

“Well, at least he’s not snoring fire,” Starlight offered optimistically before addressing Luna. “But what do you want us to do about it? You’re not going to tell us that we have to fight a dragon, are you?”

“I wouldn’t mind giving it a shot,” said Tempest, grinning. “After taking down an ancient sun goddess, a dragon shouldn’t be that difficult.”

“Ooor – we could try a method that doesn’t get us burned alive or eaten,” Twilight chastised Tempest; the scarred mare huffed in annoyance. “I suggest we encourage him to sleep somewhere else. Maybe offer him something as a reward. Dragons like gemstones, right? Maybe we could check the crystal mines – “

“I’m afraid no amount of gemstones will be able to move this dragon,” Luna interjected. “Not if you cannot awaken him from his slumber. That itself is a nearly impossible task.”

“How come?” Moon Dancer asked.

Luna’s horn glowed with magic, opening a shadowy rift in the air in a similar manner to Daybreaker’s viewing portal. The Mane 6 inched closer to the rift. They reeled back in a mixture of shock and awe as they gazed upon not only the biggest dragon they’d ever seen, but the most massive creature period.

When Sunset said the dragon was sleeping on Mount Everhoof, Moon Dancer hadn’t counted on how literal she was. The dragon reclined on the largest mountain in Equestria like it was a mattress, leaning his head on the snowy cap like a pillow. Its claws were easily the size of a small town, folded over his massive round belly, which rose and fell with his snores. His tail was draped over the Yaket Range, swinging dangerously against the peaks. Plumes of black smoke puffed out of his nostrils, lumping together with the dark clouds that slowly spread across the kingdom’s skies.

Trixie’s eyes rolled back and the she promptly fainted. And understandable reaction.

“Wha – what are we looking at?” Sunset stammered, stunned.

“This is Belphegor,” Luna explained severely. “He was once one of the Seven Dragon Lords of the neighboring Dragon Lands until one of their fellow lords betrayed them and established the rule of one Dragon Lord. As you can see, he is quite large.”

“Apple Bloom’s brother is large!” Moon Dancer shrieked. “He’s literally the size of a mountain!”

“Belphegor is large, but he is also quite lazy – so much so that they’ve nicknamed him ‘The Sloth,’” said Luna. “Belphegor only awakens for one week every one thousand years to feed himself, then he goes back to sleep for another millennium.”

“Wow, talk about getting your beauty sleep?” Grubber commented. Tempest whacked him over the head again. “Ow!”

“Belphegor usually burrows deep underground before he slumbers,” Luna continued. “But this time, he has chosen to remain above ground. He must be awakened and convinced to seek an alternative place of sleep, before the entire kingdom chokes on his smoke.”

“But how’re we supposed to wake up something that huge?” questioned Starlight.

“Maybe we could get a pair of giant nose plugs,” Trixie suggested, earned a lot of exasperated stares. “Trixie don’t see anypony else coming up with ideas!”

“Physically waking Belphegor from his sleep is an impossible task,” explained Luna. “But there is another way. If we cannot wake him in the material world, then we shall have to do so in the dream world.”

“The dream world?” Moon Dancer repeated curiously.

“Dreams are the gateways to the mind,” said Luna. “If we can enter Belphegor’s subconscious and plant a subliminal suggestion for him to sleep elsewhere, it should take effect in the real world.”

“That’s perfect!” Sunset cheered. “Princess Luna can go into Belphegor’s dreams and – “

“I’m afraid I cannot,” said Luna seriously.

“WHAT?!” the Mane 6 cried in unison.

“Why not?!” yelled Twilight. She visibly flinched when the princess turned her gaze on the lavender unicorn and giggled nervously while rubbing her hoof. “Er, not that I’m questioning your judgment, your majesty.”

“With the current crisis looming over Equestria,” said Luna, “I must remain in the physical world to provide comfort and guidance to the pony’s in distress. Shining Armor and the royal guards are trying to quell the chaos in Canterlot, but knowing that their princess is with them should ease their concerns. If only a little.”

“Then who’s going to go into Belphegor’s dreams?” asked Moon Dancer.

“Why, you are, Moon Dancer,” Luna stated plaining with a pointed hoof.

“ME?!” Moon Dancer squealed, leaning back with a dumbfounded look.

“Sunset Shimmer told me that you have an affinity for Moon Magic,” Luna explained, gesturing to her student. “I also witnessed you perform the Midnight Shroud in Ponyville during Daybreaker’s attack.”

“Well, I – “

“Oh yeah, that’s right!” Sunset shouted in an “A-ha” moment. “The Dream Walking spell is Moon Magic. Moon Dancer can go into the dream world because she’s a Moon Magic user! It’s literally in her name!”

“But – I’ve never – “

“So while Moon Dancer takes care of that enormous, mountain-sized dragon,” said Tempest coolly, “the rest of us will be on damage control.”

“Can you just – “

“Ponyville is just a little way south of Canterlot,” Starlight pointed out. “It’ll be less than an hour until the smoke reaches them. We should send somepony ahead to warn them what’s coming.”

“Trixie could get there faster in her wagon,” Trixie announced proudly. “Trixie’s figured out how to repeat the same route as our last trip, so it should be much faster – “

“WILL EVERYPONY LISTEN TO ME!” Moon Dancer screamed aggravatedly. The throne room fell into a stunned silence, everypony taken aback by the bespectacled mare’s outburst. After taking a moment to collect herself, Moon Dancer said, “I’m trying to tell you that I’ve never entered the dream world before. I don’t even know if I can.”

“You were able to perform the Midnight Shroud – and without a teacher, I might add,” Luna pointed out. “That is a highly advanced spell. By comparison, the Dream Walking spell is much easier.”

“But I don’t even know how to get into the dream world,” said Moon Dancer uncertainly. “I’ve never came across it in any books. How do I know if – “

Luna silenced the spiraling mare with a raised hoof. The midnight alicorn offered a gentle smile and ran a hoof across Moon Dancer’s mane, which surprisingly made her feel a little better. Maybe she has some kind of princess magic that makes ponies feel calm around her, Moon Dancer thought.

“I understand that you feel troubled, Moon Dancer,” Luna spoke in a soothing voice. “But your friends and I have the utmost faith that you will succeed. I wouldn’t assign you this task if I didn’t think you were up to it. As for the Dream Walking spell, you realize that you are speaking to the princess of dreams, do you not? I shall guide you into the Realm of Sleep.”

“You will?” Moon Dancer gasped excitedly. She couldn’t believe it; a lesson on Moon Magic from the princess! If this were under better circumstances, Moon dancer would be – for lack of a better term – over the moon.

“Easy, my little pony,” Luna chuckled, sitting down on her flank. “I can guide you into the dream world, but you will be on your own from there. As it is the day time, and we are in the middle of a crisis, there will be fewer dreams you may enter, but you will still need to be careful. Now, sit down and close your eyes.”

Moon Dancer nodded excitedly, plopping down on her flank and shutting her eyes tight.

“Listen to the sound of my voice,” Luna spoke in a calm, level tone. “Now – picture the dreamscape in your mind. It can take the form of anything you wish, but for the sake of time, let’s borrow from my vision. Imagine an endless ocean of stars surrounding you. Imagine yourself floating through the galaxy, untethered by the physical plane. Do you have it in your head?”

“I think so…,” said Moon Dancer slowly.

“Good. Now you must envision the gateways to everypony’s dreams. I like to use doors as a visual aid – each one distinctive to the owners of those dreams. For example, Sunset Shimmer is a bright array of sunny color, like oranges and yellows – “

“And Twilight is purple with lots of stars,” said Moon Dancer, smiling.

“Exactly,” Luna nodded. “Once you’ve established your dreamscape, your soul will be able to enter the Realm of Sleep once you fall under a deep state of unconsciousness.”

“How do I do that?” Moon Dancer asked.

“Typically, you just fall asleep,” answered Luna.

“I don’t know how anypony can fall asleep at a time like this,” said Moon Dancer, frowning.

“In time and with practice, you’ll learn to how to fall into a deep slumber on command,” Luna reassured her. “But for the time being, we will have to resort to…alternative measures to push you into the Realm of Sleep.”

Moon Dancer opened her mouth to ask what she meant by “alternative measures,” but Luna was already a step ahead. The midnight alicorn illuminated her horn, materializing a long object in the air before smacking it across the back of Moon Dancer’s skull. The bespectacled unicorn collapsed facedown on the floor, and then started snoring loudly a few seconds later. Luna looked proud of herself as she dismissed the blunt instrument, but everypony else was staring at their ruler with wide eyes and dropped jaws.

“Did you just hit her over the head with a baseball bat!” Sunset screeched, flabbergasted.

“It worked, didn’t it?” said Luna with a shrug.





Moon Dancer’s eyes flew open with a startled gasp.

The first thing she realized was that she couldn’t feel the ground beneath her hooves. She kicked and flailed in a brief moment of panic, but quickly settled down because the second thing she realized was that she was floating. An endless sea of black-and-blues swirled around her, littered with flickering stars and swirling nebulas. It was like the entire universe was laid out before her.

“This must be the Realm of Sleep that Princess Luna was talking about,” Moon Dancer murmured in awe. “But where are the – “

The instant she thought about them, two long rows of doors flew out of the distance and came to a screeching halt on either side. The bespectacled unicorn readjusted her glasses and looked around. Just as the princess had described, each door had its own unique design that made it stand out from the rest. One door was painted to look like the beach, another was covered in springs and rotating gears, and one was just a bowl of oranges. As she stared down the lengthy rows, Moon Dancer suspected there might be a few dozen doors; nothing compared to the thousands that Luna dealt with nightly, but it was still a lot.

"Okay, one of these doors has to belong to Belphegor,” Moon Dancer muttered to herself. “But how’ll I know which one it is. Ugh, I should’ve asked Princess Luna how to find him before I came here…. How did I get here again? Ah, it’s probably nothing important.”

Moon Dancer kicked her hooves like she was wading through a pool, gliding smoothly between the rows. She scrutinized the doors as the floated by. There were a few interesting designs like door made out of cotton candy and confetti and another that seemed liked a self-portrait of a rainbow-maned mare in a Wonderbolt’s uniform, but nothing to indicate which one was Belphegor’s dreams.

“It’ll be nightfall before I figure out which one is his,” Moon Dancer grumbled to herself. “Then I’ll have thousands to go through…. Hmm, maybe I should just start checking doors at random. Couldn’t hurt, right?”

Moon Dancer stopped in front of a plain-looking door with bubbles marking the surface. Not something that suited a titanic dragon, but she had to start somewhere. The bespectacled unicorn turned the knob with her horn and pushed it open. She leaned her head through the frame and –





She was back in Canterlot, but it was nothing like the one she knew in the material world. The whole town was washed is muted colors; the sun was blotted out by dark storm clouds. The ponies hanged their heads as they trudged along the roads, trapped in a silent depression. Even more alarming was the royal guards stationed on the street, standing like imposing statues that made the ponies quiver in fear if they so much as looked their way. Another things Moon Dancer picked up on was that the banners of the royal sisters that usually adorned Canterlot were missing and replaced with a strange flag with bubbles on it.

“Holy Luna,” Moon Dancer muttered quietly. “What kind of dream is this…?”

The sounds of trumpets suddenly filled the air. Everypony jumped and quickly shuffled on either side of the road, forming up in tight lines, all of them trembling in fear. The trumpets were getting louder. Something was coming down the street. Moon Dancer narrowed her eyes in concentration until the object came into view and let out a shocked gasp.

A gigantic cart was being pulled down the street, but it had no wheels, making the march extra difficult for the ones pulling it. And the ones pulling the cart were none of there than then Mane 6 with Princess Luna at the head of the pack. They were all bound by chains on their hooves and magic suppression rings on their horns; Luna’s wings were clamped to her side. Her friends’ dream counterparts looked like they were going to collapse at any moment, but too afraid to stop.

And who was it that everypony feared? Honestly, Moon Dancer had no idea. They were a pegesus and they were cross-eyed with a dopey smile like they had no idea where they were. Who –

“All hail Empress Derpy!” the royal guards shouted with their hooves raised in a salute.

“All hail Empress Derpy!” the crowd repeated fearfully.

Moon Dancer raised a single brow as the pegesus – Derpy – toppled sideways on her cart and stayed there. After a few seconds, she pulled back her head – 





- and slammed the door shut.

“Well, that was weird – and terrifying,” Moon Dancer commented. “It was weirifying…. All right, moving on.”

She floated down the row and stopped at a plain-looking blue door on her left.

“Let’s see if I have any better luck here.”

Moon Dancer opened the door with her horn and leaned her head inside – 





- wincing from the contrasting brightness compared to the last dream. She blinked the daze clear from her vision and scanned the area.

She appeared to be floating over the courtyard of some…grandiose building that reminded Moon Dancer of a castle. There was also a statue of some pony with really long legs; the rear set was bending in the wrong direction. Weird…. A nearby sign said she was in some place called “Canterlot High.” Okay, so she was in Canterlot again, but what did the “High” part mean? It didn’t look like the place was elevated anywhere above ground level.

But the strangest part? All of the tall creatures that were walking around on two legs, their coats oddly…fleshy and unnatural. They garbed themselves in all sorts of colorful and outrageous clothing you wouldn’t normally see in Equestria. And a lot of them were staring into these weird boxes in their hooves like they were being mind controlled or something.

A small group of these two-legged creatures gathered in a group a few feet away from Moon Dancer. For some reason, they seemed very familiar….

“Did anyone do their assignment for Mr. Cranky Doodle’s class?”

“Wait, we had homework?”

“You would know if you actually came to class, Tempest.”

“I don’t blame her. I always black out when he starts talking.”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie…really hopes Starlight Glimmer will let Trixie copy her homework.”

“Um, is anyone going to point out the floating pony head staring at us?”



The bipedal creatures stared at Moon Dancer. Moon Dancer stared back. They kept staring. Moon Dancer slowly pulled her head back – 





- and closed the door quietly.

“Okay, never going through that door again,” Moon Dancer muttered to herself.

The bespectacled unicorn glided further along the rows of doors until she came to a stop at a sapphire-blue door with an hourglass that kept flipped regularly, shifting the sand continuously.

“This one reminds me of Minutte,” said Moon Dancer. “Figures she’d be sleeping while the world is ending. Hmm, though I kinda wonder what she dreams about."

Drawn in by her curiously, Moon Dancer opened the door with her horn and leaned across the threshold – 





- and blinked dimwittedly. Everywhere she looked, there was nothing but empty white space as far as the eye could see. The only thing among this desolate wasteland was Minutte…riding a mechanical pony with a dopey smile…

…that’s it. That’s the whole dream.

“…This is the best you could do?” Moon Dancer asked her friend with an unimpressed stare. “Really?”

“Eeyup,” answered Minuette, unsurprised by Moon Dancer’s odd appearance.

The bespectacled unicorn shook her head and pulled back –





- clicking the door shut behind her before gliding away to the next one.

“That was more disappointing than weird,” Moon Dancer sighed exasperatedly, scanning left and right. “Ugh, why are there so many ponies asleep at a time like this? I’m never going to find the right dream at this rate. I wish there was somepony who could give me directions – “

“Hello? Is somepony out there?”

Moon Dancer tried to dig her hooves to a stop before realizing there was no ground to stand on and ended flipping herself over. She swiftly straightening herself out, following the direction of the voice to a plain-white door with a yellow sun splashed on the face. Moon Dancer looked around anxiously, then approached the door and knocked twice.

“Hello?” Moon Dancer hesitantly.

“Luna, is that you?” the voice called from the other side. “You sound different. Do you have a cold?”

“Um, it’s not Luna,” said Moon Dancer. Why was she talking to a strange voice in the Realm of Sleep? “My name’s Moon Dancer.”

“Somepony else can enter the dreaming world?” the voice sounded surprised. “I hope your not planning to do anything mischievous. The Realm of Sleep is Princess Luna’s domain, and she will not take kindly to intruders.”

“Princess Luna is the one who sent me,” said Moon Dancer defensively.

“Luna sent somepony else into the dream world?” the voice sounded shocked, then turned anxious. “She would never take such a risk unless something grave has occurred. Tell me, Moon Dancer, is she all right?”

“I think so,” Moon Dancer answered uncertainly. “There’s a huge crisis going on in the real world. A giant dragon named Belphegor is sleeping and his snoring is creating a dark cloud that’s covering Equestria. Princess Luna’s is busy try to keep everypony safe, so she sent me in here to wake him up.”

“Belphegor? The Sloth?” said the voice, concerned. “He normally sleeps underground during his thousand-year hibernation.”

“Well, not this time,” said Moon Dancer. "He's sleeping on Mount Everhoof and nopony knows how to move him. Princess Luna thinks that if I can plant some kind of...suggestion in his dream, then he'll leave. But I've never been to the Realm of Sleep before and I have no idea which dream is Belphegor's."

“I see. This is troubling news.” The voice hummed. “All right, I will help you find him.”

“You will?” said Moon Dancer, surprised.

“But I’m going to need you to open this door,” said the voice. “I don’t have the power to wander the Realm of Sleep freely. You will need to open the gateway that will let me cross over.”

Moon Dancer took a moment to think about it, rubbing her chin. It probably wasn’t a good idea to let a stranger out of their dreams, especially when they were conscious of the Realm of Sleep. But on the other hoof, sitting on her flank wasn’t helping anypony, especially when she was on a time limit. After another moment of thinking, Moon Dancer came to a decision. She turned the knob with her horn and pushed the door open.

The bespectacled unicorn raised her hoof to shield her eyes from the glaring light that spilled through the doorway. The brightness faded after a moment and Moon Dancer tried to blink the spots out of her eyes. She looked ahead and found herself staring at someone’s chest. She tilted her head back, letting out a shocked gasp as she stared into the smiling face of – 

“Princess Celestia!” shouted Moon Dancer.

“Oh, I remember you,” said Celestia, pointing at Moon Dancer with interest. “Yes, yes, you were one of the ponies who defeated me with the Elements of Harmony when I was…well….”

“A deranged psychopath bent on burning Equestria to the ground?” Moon Dancer offered.

“I was going to say 'irrational', but yours works, too,” said Celestia. “So you can use Moon Magic like my sister, is that right? I should have suspected as much when you cast the spell over Ponyville. Er…how long has it been since then, if you don’t mind me asking? I know I've been unconscious for quite a while....”

“You’ve been asleep for almost three weeks,” answered Moon Dancer. “Princess Luna’s been visiting you every sunrise and sunset since, waiting for you to wake up.”

“She was always sweet as sugar underneath that gloomy exterior,” Celestia muttered to herself with a soft smile. She then stretched her wings, lowering her head while gesturing Moon Dancer to climb on. “As much as I would love to hear more about my sister, we have a dragon that needs waking. Get on.”

Moon Dancer hesitated. Would she be executed for riding on one of the crowned princesses? Well, this was technically the dream world, so it’s not like anypony would ever find out…. Unless Celestia woke up and told them. Does Moon Magic have a memory erasing spell or – 

“Moon Dancer!” Celestia shouted impatiently.

“Sorry! Sorry!” Moon Dancer apologized.

The smaller unicorn climbed over the princess and seated herself on Celestia’s back. Once Moon Dancer was secure, Celestia galloped forward like she was running across solid ground before lifting her hooves and extending her wings to their full length. They were flying through rows of doors so fast that everything looked like a blur of color. Moon Dancer braced all four hooves against Celestia’s back, terrified that she might fall off. She couldn’t understand how they would be able to find Belphegor’s door when they were flying so fast. Which actually brought up another curious thought….

“How do you know what Belphegor’s dreams look like?” asked Moon Dancer.

“It was over a thousand year ago,” Celestia explained, “back when there were still seven Dragon Lords, and before I had changed into Daybreaker. Ponies and dragons were constantly getting into territorial disputes about who gets what land and what they can do with it. So Luna and I met with the Dragon Lords to finally establish borders between our two lands. Unfortunately, Belphegor was still sleeping when the time came and no creature could rouse him. So Luna and I volunteered to enter his dreams and force him to awaken.”

“Did it work?” asked Moon Dancer.

“Oh, it certainly did,” Celestia giggled. “He put up a fight, but in the Realm of Sleep, Luna can be very frightening when she needs to be. A real Nightmare.”

“Sooo…any advice on how I’m supposed to wake him up?” Moon Dancer asked nervously.

“This is the Realm of Sleep, and you are the dream walker,” said Celestia sagely. “In this world, you are the one who holds all the power. Whatever obstacles may come your way, you need only to trust in your strength.”

“My...strength?” Moon Dancer repeated uncertainly. “But I don’t have any strengths. I mean, Twilight, Starlight, and Sunset have powerful magic. Tempest is the best fighter of, like, all time. Even Trixie has her own talents.”

“And you do as well,” said Celestia with a tone of confidence. “Otherwise, Luna would never have trusted you for this mission.”

“Princess Luna said the same thing…,” Moon Dancer muttered.

“She is very wise,” Celestia smiled. “You’re stronger than you know, Moon Dancer. You just need to reach deep inside yourself…. Ah! Here we are!”

Celestia rested her hooves on the nonexistent ground, folded her wings, and lowered her head for Moon Dancer to get off. They had stopped in front of a dark-brown door with a painting of…a sloth.

“Wow, he takes this sloth thing very literal,” Moon Dancer commented.

“Yes, yes, he does,” Celestia agreed. “You’re on your own from here. Just remember what I said: trust your strength and reach deep inside.”

“Trust my strength, reach deep inside,” Moon Dancer repeated, psyching herself up. “Okay, entering the dream of a terrifying, mountain-sized, teeth-gnashing, sharp-scale having, horn-wearing, smoke-snoring, could-eat-a-pony-in-one-bite, former Dragon Lord and saving Equestria from a thousand years of darkness. No pressure.”

The bespectacled unicorn reached out for the handle with her horn, turning it, and opened the door slowly. She took one more deep cleansing breath, straightening her posture, and marched through the threshold with purpose – 





The sound of the lapping waves echoed her ears; the smell of salt air filled her nostrils. Moon Dancer blinked away the brightness of the sunny skies and came to realize that she was standing on the shores of a beautiful beach. The ocean sparkled underneath the sun like a sapphire, palm trees swaying in the calm breeze. If she had to guess, Moon Dancer would say she was somewhere in the Fillippines.

“Huh, this dream’s a lot nicer than what I was expecting,” Moon Dancer commented. “Now where is that dragon – “

She didn’t have to search far. Just a few short yards away, the dragon Belphegor was gently swaying in a hammock between two palm trees. Thankfully, he was pony-sized instead of his real-world size. Moon Dancer didn’t know if it was because it was what Belphegor wanted, or because of her appearance in his dream. The bespectacled unicorn crossed the shore and walked up cautiously to Belphegor’s side, dumbfounded when she heard his loud snores.

“He sleeps even in his dreams,” muttered Moon Dancer. “Princess Luna was right: he is lazy.”

Well, at least at this size he wasn’t so scary, Moon Dancer thought. She cleared her throat importantly and poked at his pudgy belly, calling his name: “Belphegor? Excuse me, Mr. Belphegor?” At first, the former Dragon Lord ignored her attempts to rouse him, scratching his belly where Moon Dancer poked him like she was an annoying mosquito. Groaning in annoyance, Moon Dancer poked him harder.

“Hey, lazy butt, wake up!” Moon Dancer shouted impatiently. “This is a dream for Luna’s sake! How can you even be sleeping?!” That did it. Belphegor grumbled as his eyes cracked open, practically shooting daggers from her slitted crimson eyes. “Oh, good, you’re awake. My name is Moon Dancer, and I – “

The lazy dragon breathed hard through his nostrils, exhaling a cloud of smoke in Moon Dancer’s face. The dream walking pony went stiff; her glasses were fogged up with soot. Moon Dancer calmly removed them, wiping the soot off her lenses, and put them back on.

“Okay, rude,” said Moon Dancer. “As I was saying, I am here – in your dream, specifically – at the request of Equestria’s ruler, Princess Luna. The princess would like you to wake up and find another spot for your thousand-year hibernation. Preferably underground.” Belphegor rumbled, crossing his arms. “It’s just that you’ve been snoring a lot, and every time you do, you send out a huge cloud of black smoke that blocks out the sun.” Belphegor breathed smoke in Moon Dancer’s face again. She paused to clean her glasses once more. “Look, Equestria can’t survive a thousand years in a dark haze. Ponies will die without sunlight. You understand, right?”

Belphegor gave Moon Dancer an unimpressed stare before turning away on his side. But not before giving the unicorn a flick of his tail, tossing her back into the sand. Moon Dancer sat up, shaking the sand out of her mane, and glared at the dragon’s scaly backside.

“Okay, let’s try that again,” Moon Dancer grumbled. She marched back up to the lazing dragon. “Okay, I think we might’ve gotten off on the wrong hoof…or claw; whatever metaphor you want to use. I just think that you should consider how your actions are affecting others. I mean, you don’t see ponies coming over to the Dragon Lands and….” She put a hoof to her chin, pondering. “Come to think of it, what does the Dragon Lands have? Lava? Rocks? Unlimited parking?”

Belphegor snorted and flicked his tail again, sending Moon Dancer flying into the ocean. The bespectacled unicorn walked back onto the shore moments later with a deep frown and an octopus wrapped around her face. She used her magic to pry the cephalopod from her muzzle, leaving a noticeable spotted pattern on her coat, and threw it over her shoulder.

“All right, no more Miss Nice Pony!” Moon Dancer snapped, stomping back to Belphegor’s side. “Listen here, Belphegor! I am demanding that you get off your scaly rump and get off our mountain this instant! …Please.”

Belphegor flipped around facing Moon Dancer, giving the unicorn a featureless stare, and then, to Moon Dancer’s amazement, sat up in his hammock.

“Oh, thank goodness,” Moon Dancer sighed in relief. “I’m sorry I had to get tough with you there. I just – “

Moon Dancer went cross-eyed as Belphegor suddenly reached out and grabbed her glasses, removing them from her face. In the real world, Moon Dancer’s vision would have blurred so badly that everything would look like a mixed blob of colors. But in the Realm of Sleep, it seemed that Moon Dancer’s eyes were perfect. A convenient side effect, undoubtedly. But that didn’t make it any better when Belphegor snapped Moon Dancer’s glasses in two and dropped them in the sand.

Moon Dancer picked up the pieces of the broken spectacles with trembling hooves. They might not have been real, but the effect certainly felt real enough. Her mind flashed back to her younger days when she first started wearing them. The other colts and fillies who used to pick on her, teased her, and played mean pranks. The times before her friends like Minuette, Twinkleshine, and Lemon Hearts came to her rescue.

Moon Dancer sniffled. Belphegor chuckled nastily and leaned back in his hammock. The unicorn fought back the tears building in her eyes and leered at Belphegor with a stare that could rival Daybreaker’s sun.

“How dare you…,” Moon Dancer breathed, then she screamed. “How dare you?!”

Moon Dancer stomped her hooves and the entire dream world quaked so hard, it made Belphegor flip out of his hammock. The lazy dragon fumbled onto his elbows, tilting his head back with his jaw dropping to the ground.

Moon Dancer wasn’t conscious of what she did, but the once meek unicorn grew to the size of the real-world Belphegor, able to cast a gigantic shadow over the dream world just by standing. Her coat turned as black as shadows, a purple mist drifting down her hooves and gliding across the beach, covering every surface. Her mane morphed into a sea of stars just like Luna’s, but with swirling nebulas and exploding supernovas like she had the entire universe on her head. Her eyes became two glowing white light that stared down at Belphegor like a god gazing upon an insect.

Belphegor whimpered pathetically, covering his head with his arms like it would do anything. The Nightmare Moon Dancer reeled back her head…then let out a bellowing roar equivalent to a hundred dragons. Belphegor’s dream world shattered like glass, leaving the godly pony and dragon in an endless void of darkness.

“Listen here, Belphegor!” Nightmare Moon Dancer howled, her voice reverberating like a thousand voices screaming at once. “I have tried to be patient with you, but my patience has run out! You think that just because your bigger than everypony else that you can just bully them however you want?! Do you?!”

“N – No…” Belphegor let out a tiny squeak.

“No, you don’t!” Nightmare Moon Dancer roared; Belphegor yelped in fear. “You may be a former Dragon Lord, but you do not get to push around anypony while I’m around! So here’s what’s going to happen!”

Belphegor tried to run away as Nightmare Moon Dancer stretched out her hoof, but there was no place he could go that she couldn’t reach. She lifted the whimpering dragon to her eye level, piercing him with her stare.

“You are going to wake up, and you are going to find someplace else to sleep!” said Nightmare Moon Dancer. “Am I clear?!”

“Um…um…”

“AM – I – CLEAR?!”

“Yes, ma’am!” Belphegor cried.

“THEN – WAKE – UP!!!!” Nightmare Moon Dancer screamed with the force of a hurricane.

Belphegor legitimately started crying before he vanished in a puff of smoke – 





Everypony in Canterlot was huddled up in the princess’s courtyard; some yelling frantically, others asking questions, and few crying like it was the end of the world. (Which was not too far off the mark.) The royal guards had done their best to corral the ponies with the help of the Mane 5 and the Wonderbolts, but ponies were starting to grow more restless the longer they went without answers.

After a while, Luna appeared at the tower balcony alongside Sunset Shimmer, calling everyponies attention to herself.

“Ponies of Canterlot, I urge you to remain calm!” Luna yelled. “There is nothing for you to fear!”

“What’s going on, princess?!”

“Are we in danger?!”

“Can I go to the bathroom?!”

“Please, everypony, settle down!” Luna shouted urgently. “I assure you, measures are being taken as we speak! We ask that you remain patient – “

“Look! Up in the sky!” Somepony cried.

All heads tilted to back to the black clouds, which steadily faded away until they could see the sun smiling down on them in the clear blue skies. The once panicking ponies shouted with joy, bouncing and dancing in place. While the ponies celebrated below, Luna turned her head in the direction of Mount Everhoof. Off in the distance, she could see the massive form of Belphegor flying east toward the Dragon Lands in quite a hurry. And unless she was mistaken, she could swear he was crying.

The princess felt somepony nudging her flank and turned to the other side, looking down at Sunset’s smug face.

“You were lying about needing to stay in the real world,” Sunset said like she was stating fact. “You were just testing Moon Dancer, weren’t you?”

“I wanted to see if she had potential,” Luna admitted. “And she exceeded my expectations.”

“Does that mean you’re looking for another student?” asked Sunset interestingly.

“…Possibly,” said Luna with a cryptic smile.





Celestia waited patiently in the nexus between dreams until Belphegor’s dream door eroded away like sand being washed from the shore. Moon Dancer appeared from behind it, back to her natural state and readjusting her fixed glasses. Celestia smiled.

“It looks like you succeeded,” said sunny alicorn. “Well done, Moon Dancer.”

“I just did what you said: reached deep down and found my strength,” said Moon Dancer, grinning proudly. “Thanks for your help, Princess Celestia.”

“Oh, I didn’t do much,” said Celestia modestly. “All I did was point you in the right direction. Everything else you did on your own.”

“Well, I still appreciate it,” said Moon Dancer gratefully. “I hope you wake up soon. Princess Luna misses you.”

“And I miss her as well,” said Celestia, staring off into space nostalgically. “I don’t know when I will awaken, but when I do, I hope I can meet you and the other ponies in the real world.”

“Me, too,” Moon Dancer nodded…then she scratched her head awkwardly. “Er, speaking of the real world…any idea how I get out of here?”

Celestia shrugged her shoulders cluelessly.
> Stormy Relationships
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Canterlot market street was always lively with the bustling crowd of rich ponies looking to spend more money than they needed. Weekends were always the best time for shopping because there was always something new coming in from all over of Equestria. Things like the tangy and unexplainably stinky Bub-Bub Fruits from the Mysterious South, or a cursed totem that is said to make you dance to death, or some less than legal fireworks being sold in a back alley by a mysterious (but oddly familiar) blue pony.  

Hey, nopony said the rich could buy common sense.

The weekend was also the best time to find the perfect mark, thought Tempest with a mischievous smirk.

The broken-horned mare was leaning nonchalantly against the lamp post on the corner of St. Braynard St. and Martin Hoofer Queen Jr. Rd., scoping out the scene for fresh targets. She saw Fancy Pants shopping at the lamp stand with his wife, Fleur de Lis – no, he had Tempest’s face memorized after Twilight confessed her crime and got them thrown in jail. Sassy Saddles from Canterlot Carousel was picking out fabrics – no, she never carried bits; only wrote checks. Jet Set and Upper Crust snobbishly turned their noses up at a nice vendor trying to sell some beautiful jewelry – no, Tempest already robbed them five times this week; it was getting stale.

Ooh, there’s a good one, Tempest thought. A young earth pony stallion was looking over some cheap tribal masks imported from Farasi. He must be new to Canterlot, which also meant he hadn’t heard of Tempest’s reputation. Easy money.

The broken-horned mare glanced over to her partner-in-crime, Grubber, who had been loitering around the fried foods stall. He was munching on something that looked like fried cotton candy when he caught Tempest’s eyes. The taller mare glanced sideways in the direction of the new pony, who had just paid for the mask and started walking their way. Grubber smiled and saluted in confirmation.

The pudgy hedgehog stood on the side of the road, whistling nonchalantly and rocking on the balls of his feet. He waited until their target walked past before sticking his foot out, catching his ankle around the stallion’s back hoof. The stallion fell forward with a surprised yelp, flopping on his stomach. When he raised himself up on his elbow and looked around for the cause, Grubber was back in line for the fried foods stall, pretending not to notice anything. Tempest knew there was a reason she kept him around. Now for part two:

“Oh my goodness, are you all right?” Tempest trotted over and asked in the sweetest voice she could manage, offering her hoof. “Here, let me help you up.”

“Thanks,” said the stallion gratefully, accepting the offer and pulling himself up. “No idea what I could’ve tripped on. Guess I’m just clumsy.”

“You should be more careful,” Tempest warned. “Canterlot is a lot more dangerous than everypony thinks. You never know when somepony might try to deceive you from right under your nose.”

“Oh, you’re overexaggerating,” the stallion waved her off before walking away. “Thanks for the help!”

Tempest smirked mischievously as Grubber joined her moments later. She held up her hoof, presenting a hefty bag of coins that jingled as she shook it.

“There’s no better way to start a day than with a fresh mark,” said Tempest proudly, stuffing the coin purse under her cloak. She turned around…and walked into the disapproving face of Sunset Shimmer. “BWA-HA – oh, it’s you.”

“Seriously?” said Sunset critically. “Don’t you guys have anything better to do that rob innocent ponies?”

“Not until three,” Tempest answered casually.

“That’s when we’re getting massages,” said Grubber excitedly, high-hoofing Tempest.

“Tempest, you can’t keep doing this,” said Sunset, following after the broken-horned mare when she and Grubber walked away.

“Why not? It’s not like these rich snobs are gonna miss a few bits,” said Tempest. She stopped by a pie cart and picked up a slice of apple for herself and cheery for Grubber, thankfully paying for it…with her stolen money. “They probably have so much money, they swim in pools of bits Cheapskate McBuck style.”

“That’s not the point,” said Sunset heatedly. She bounced around to the front, stopping the pair in their tracks. “You may be used to stealing from other ponies, but you’re an Element of Harmony now. The Element of Loyalty. You have a sacred duty to uphold – “

“Whoa, whoa, nopony said anything about duties,” Tempest interrupted. Grubber snorted humorously when she said ‘duties.’ “I helped save Equestria from burning to death. Isn’t that enough?”

“Everypony else has changed for the better ever since the Daybreaker incident,” stated Sunset. “Twilight is making friends, Moon Dancer is more open and kindly, Starlight’s helping colts and fillies at school, Trixie’s bringing joy to ponies with her performances, and I’m learning to be more honest.”

“And your point is?” asked Tempest, raising a brow.

“Doesn’t being the Element of Loyalty mean anything to you?” Sunset questioned.

“Hey, I’m loyal to you guys and the princess,” said Tempest defensively. “What more do you want from me?”

“I just think there’s more to you than just being a thief,” said Sunset earnestly. “You could do something better with your life. Like…like joining the royal guard or – “

Tempest threw back her head, laughing.

“You think I would join the royal guard?!” said Tempest in between guffaws. “Those idiots didn’t lift a hoof when Daybreaker showed up and they’ve been completely useless with everything else since then. All they ever do is stand around like a bunch of morons while we run off to save the day. You know I’ve never seen the captain once since I moved into the palace?”

“Huh, now that I think about it, I haven’t seen Shining Armor either,” Sunset commented, brushing her chin curiously. “But that’s not the point. Tempest, you have a lot to give to Canterlot – to Equestria. I just think you should share those talents for something…productive.”

“Don’t act like you know anything,” Tempest brushed her off rudely. “You don’t know the first thing about me.”

“Because you never share anything,” said Sunset, frustrated.

“Then take the hint,” Tempest chided.

Sunset’s furrowed her brow angrily, a low rumbling reverberating from the back of her throat. She opened her mouth to shout something and a loud boom exploded through the air. Sunset clamped her hooves over her mouth; the two mares and hedgehog stared, bewildered. Sunset removed her hooves and opened her mouth again – another loud boom filled the market – Sunset clamped her muzzle shut again.

“Wow, I never knew ponies could do that,” said Grubber.

“They can’t, said Tempest suspiciously. She searched the market street and then the skies above Canterlot, suddenly pointing a hoof to the mountain. “There!”

An ominous sea of gray clouds was drifting past the peak of Canterlot Mountain, arcs of crackling lightning flying. Rain started to pour down – starting out soft, quickly turning fierce in a matter of seconds – and furious winds were starting to pick up. Everypony on the street screamed and dashed for shelter, many shoppers dropping their purchases and stall owners leaving their wears unattended.

“What’s going on?!” Sunset screamed into the wind, shielding herself with her hoof. “There isn’t a storm scheduled for today!”

“ATTENTION, PONIES OF CANTERLOT!”

“AAAHH! Screaming storm clouds!” Grubber cried.

“No, that’s the princess’s royal voice!” said Sunset. “She only uses it for emergencies!”

“AN UNEXPLAINED SEVERE THUNDERSTORM HAS FALLEN THE TOWN! CANTERLOT IS NOW UNDER LEVEL-3 LOCKDOWN! ALL PONIES ARE ADVISED TO SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY UNTIL THE STORM PASSES!”

“An unexplained storm?!” Sunset repeated. “Shouldn’t the Cloudsdale pegesi be keeping track of these things?!”

“Who care?! We gotta get outta here!” Grubber screamed

The pudgy hedgehog ran around in a full circle – twice – and then took off the down the street. Sunset started after him, but stopped a few paces when she realized somepony wasn’t following and looked back. Tempest was staring into the storm clouds with narrowed eyes, like she was looking for something.

“Tempest! We gotta go!” Sunset screamed.

“Huh? Wha?” Tempest mumbled, snapping out of her stupor and facing Tempest again. “Oh, yeah, right. Let’s move.”

Sunset would’ve commented on Tempest’s strange attitude, but the crackle of lightning drove the thought from her mind. The sunny unicorn didn’t wait for Tempest before running in the same direction as Grubber. Tempest stared at the storm clouds over her shoulder for a few seconds more and pursued the others.

Sunset and Tempest caught up to Grubber in seconds – the pudgy hedgehog was not very fast. Tempest lowered her head and scooped her partner off the ground, rolling him safely onto her back without stopping. The trio galloped out of the town limits and across the fields. The terrain was flooded in high water, goopy mud, and broken branches that slowed them down, but Sunset and Tempest slogged through. They could see the palace gates….

“Sunset! Tempest! Grubber!”

“Twilight?” said Sunset, surprised.

Sure enough, they saw the lavender mare leaning through the gap of the front gates, waving her hoof urgently.

“Get inside, girls, quick!” Twilight shouted.

They didn’t need to be told twice. Sunset, Tempest, and Grubber dived through the gap and the royal guards slammed the gates behind them. Twilight lead them across the courtyard where the water was up to their knees and barreled through the double doors into the foyer. The same royal guards galloped in afterwards and locked the doors behind them while the palace servants appeared, offering fresh towels to the drenched ponies.

“That was insane,” said Sunset, panting hard as she used her horn to wipe herself down. “That storm came completely out of nowhere.”

“I’ll say,” Grubber remarked, wiping down his pits, much to the servant’s disgust. He looked around and asked, “Where’s everyone else?”

“Well, Moon Dancer has her own house in Canterlot,” Twilight answered, “and Starlight has her apartment, so they’re both probably hunkering down at home. Spike went to see Trixie about mass producing her Fizzy Fruit Potions, so he’s probably taking shelter with her in Trixie’s Wagon.”

“Is a mobile wagon really the best place for those two in the middle of a lightning storm?”  asked Tempest.

“Trixie’s wagon has been outfitted with dozens of spells and gadgets for every type of weather phenomenon possible,” Twilight explained. “Anchors to secure the wheels. Magic lightning rod to ground electricity. Elevated platforms to avoid flooding. Reinforced windows and doors. Just what you’d expect from a seasoned traveler.”

“Oh, thank goodness you all are safe.” Princess Luna glided down the grand staircase and landed in front of the Mane 3; the royal guards and servants bowed and backed away out of sight. “I was worried you might have gotten caught up in the storm.”

“Speaking of the storm,” said Sunset, toweling off her mane, “any idea where it came from?”

“No, but I’m about to head to Cloudsdale to find out,” said Luna seriously. “The cloud factory is supposed to notify all ponies when a potentially dangerous storm is scheduled. This kind of oversight could have gotten many ponies hurt, or worse.”

“You sure the Cloudsdale ponies are responsible for this?” asked Tempest,.

“Who else could have manufacture a storm of this size?” said Luna, her brow quirked curiously.

“…Never mind,” Tempest muttered as she turned away, scrubbing her face.

“I will be gone for a few hours,” Luna told Sunset. “None of you are to leave the castle until I return. The servants and royal guards will be storm-proofing everything, so stay out of their way. And if there is an emergency, tell it to Shining Armor…if anypony can find him. Am I clear?”

“Yes, mom,” said Sunset sarcastically with a mock salute.

Luna rolled her eyes good-naturedly, brushing Sunset’s mane playfully before trotting to the entrance. The royal guards grabbed the handles as Luna approached the double doors and pulled them open just enough for the princess to slip through, then slammed them shut again. Sunset, Twilight and Grubber peeked out the tall windows. They spotted Luna flying into the storm, surrounding herself in a starry-blue barrier and fading away into the distance.

“Well, looks like the day’s shot,” Tempest commented, wringing out her towel and throwing it at the servant without looking, unknowingly slapping the wet cloth in their face. “Grubber, remind me to double the quota of suckers tomorrow.”

“Right-o, boss,” Grubber saluted.

“Really? That’s your biggest concern,” said Sunset with a look of disbelief.

“I take pride in my work ethic,” Tempest remarked. Sunset groaned and facehoofed in annoyance.

“Wow, that’s some storm, huh?” said Twilight, trying to steer the conversation in a different direction. “I can’t believe the pegesus ponies made something this huge. They really outdid themselves this time.”

“If it really is the pegeus ponies,” Tempest muttered.

“Do you know something that we don’t?” asked Sunset with an impatient stare.

“Nothing, nothing, just thinking out loud,” Tempest brushed away the question, stretching her limbs exaggeratedly. “Well, if we’re gonna be stuck inside, I’ll be in my room. Come on, Grubber.”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” Sunset agreed. “It’s not like there’s anything better to do – “

“Wait a second, everypony!” Twilight suddenly shouted, stopping Tempest, Sunset, and Grubber in their tracks. “I just had the greatest idea ever! You three should totally sleep over! We’ll have a slumber party!”

“Yay! Slumber party!” Grubber cheered; Tempest smacked him over the head. “Ow! What’d I do!”

“Uh, I hate to burst your bubble, Twilight,” said Sunset awkwardly, “but we already live under the same roof. So it’s technically not sleeping over….”

“That’s why you’re going to come sleep over in my room!” Twilight proclaimed enthusiastically. She was literally bouncing on her hooves, grinning from ear to ear. “I’ve always wanted a slumber party, but I never had any friends – well, that’s kind of my own fault – but I have friends now! I even have this fantastic reference guide!”

Twilight illuminated her horn and levitated a book from who know where, holding it up to Sunset’s face.

“’Slumber 101: All You've Ever Wanted to Know About Slumber Parties but Were Afraid to Ask,’ Sunset read aloud. “…You just happen to be carrying this very specific book with you?”

“It’s my own personal copy!” Twilight squealed. “You should see the table of contents! I've been waiting for a chance to use it, and today is the day! This is gonna be so great!”

“…I’m guessing you haven’t found that new hobby yet,” Sunset remarked.

“Ooh! Ohh! Can I do your mane?!” Grubber asked Twilight eagerly. “I have sooo many ideas!”

“Grubber!” Tempest shouted, smacking the hedgehog over the head again. “We do not ‘do’ pony’s manes!”

“Aww, why not?” Grubber whined.

“We are two tough-as-nails thieves from the grimy streets of Klugetown,” said Tempest, turning her nose up proudly. “A couple of rugged, but good-intentioned, ne’er-do-wells who have climbed though the world with guts and grit. We do not – and I’m talking to myself, aren’t I?”

Much to Tempest’s exasperation, she looked around to discover that she was alone in the foyer. The broken-horned mare lowered her head, huffing irritably, and trudged down the hall, having a good idea of where they went. And lo, as she turned the corner to the sleeping quarters, Tempest could make out the muffled sound of giggling ponies and one hedgehog.

The door to Twilight’s room was already open she approached. Tempest stopped at the threshold, surveying the bedchamber/library. Twilight and Sunset were sitting on their flanks in the middle of the room, surrounded by an abundance of pillows and blankets, and Grubber was – Tempest made a disgusted sound – painting their hooves.

“Oh, Grubber, why…?” Tempest moaned, facehoofing herself.

“Wow, you’re really good at this, Grubber,” Twilight complimented, appraising her freshly painted hooves.

“The joys of opposable thumbs,” said Grubber happily. “And by the way, that moderate violet polish really makes your eyes pop. And Sunset, I was thinking a nice sunny-yellow to match your sunny personality.”

“Grubber, you flatterer,” Sunset giggled.

Tempest gave the group a flat look, silently crossing the room up to her hedgehog sidekick.

“Hey, boss, want me to paint your hooves?” asked Grubber eagerly, holding up one of the bottles of polish. “This moderate rose would go great with your mane.” Annoyed, Tempest slapped the bottle across the room. “Hey, that was a limited edition!”

“Grubber!” Tempest snapped. “What in the name of all that is devious are you doing?!”

“We’re giving each other make overs!” Twilight squeed, clapping her hooves; Tempest gave her a blank stare. Twilight levitated her slumber party book over to the troublesome mare to emphasize the point. “We have to do it. It says so in the book.”

“Uh, yeah, no,” Tempest said shortly, slapping the book away. “We don’t do make overs.” She shot a sideways look at Grubber, who was painting his nails sky-blue. “I don’t do make overs. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for doing absolutely nothing….”

Tempest marched back over to the door, much to Twilight’s disappointment, when Sunset suddenly teleported in the broken-horned mare’s path with a heated glare.

“Look, Ms. ‘I’m-so-cool-and-handsome,’” Sunset started.

“You think I’m handsome?” Tempest asked with a sly grin.

“Not the point!” Sunset shouted insistently, her cheeks burning. “I understand that you don’t like girly things like slumber parties and make overs, and I respect that. But this is Twilight’s first sleep over, so that makes it pretty special. And she wants you to be here.”

“I never asked her to invite me,” said Tempest, annoyed.

“No, but she did anyway because you’re her friend,” said Sunset. “Remember the Daybreaker incident when we all thought you betrayed us? Twilight still believed in you. She trusted you. Because that’s what friends do. Now how about you be a good friend for Twilight? Show some of that Element of Loyalty.”

Tempest frowned. Curse Sunset Shimmer and her guilt tripping. The violet mare looked back at Twilight, who was hanging her head low in a depressed state. Tempest heaved a great sigh and begrudgingly dragged her hooves to the circle of pillows, plopping her flank with a look that said "I would rather be anywhere else but here."

“I suppose I could stay for a little bit…,” Tempest muttered apathetically.

“Hurray slumber party!” Twilight perked up and clapped her hooves. She levitated the slumber party book and searched through the pages. “This is going to be so exciting! We'll do everything by the book, and that will make my slumber party officially fun!”

“Did you hear that, Tempest,” said Sunset, sitting down on the mare’s left side. “You wouldn’t want to do anything that would ruin Twilight's very first slumber party, would you?”

“…Of course not,” Tempest answered bitterly, going unnoticed by the pony in question. “And I assume you wouldn’t do anything either.”

“So we’re in agreement,” said Sunset in a business-like tone. “We’ll be on our best behavior. And by ‘we’, I mean ‘you.’”

“I got the implications,” retorted Tempest. “The only pony you need to worry about is yourself.”

“Well, unlike some ponies, I can get along with anypony,” said Sunset with her chin held high. “No matter how difficult she may be.”

“Yeah, you’re the queen of friendliness,” said Tempest sarcastically. “Remind me again who was the pony that burned innocent Twilight’s notes and let a psychopathic sun goddess get loose?”

“That was one time! Let it go!” Sunset hissed angrily.

Before Tempest could get a word in response, Twilight suddenly popped in between them and pulled the mares (and Grubber) into an excited group hug.

“This is going to be the bestest slumber party ever! Yay!” Twilight cheered.

“Yay!/Yay…,” Grubber exclaimed with glee while Sunset and Tempest parroted halfheartedly, shooting glares under Twilight’s muzzle.





There were many things Tempest regretted in her life. Chasing Glitter Drop’s ball into an Ursa Minor cave; getting run over by Trixie’s wagon; eating that fish taco from a shady back alley vendor. But this sleep over was definitely up there in the top three.

After unwillingly letting Grubber paint her hooves, Twilight moved the party along to mud masks and manes. She could hear Sunset snickering behind her hoof, not that the broken-horned mare could blame her. She could only imagine how the once intimidating mare must have looked with goop on her face and her mane in curlers. Grubber, on the other hoof, looked quite pleased with himself. He had been the one to style everypony all night.

“So,” Sunset spoke, snorting uncontrollably, “how’re you doing over there, Tempest? Feel pretty?”

“I’m going to murder all over you in your sleep,” Tempest declared flatly.

“Oh, tempest, you’re such a jokester,” Twilight giggled.

“I don’t think she’s joking,” said Grubber, noticeably backing away.

“This is so awesome,” said Twilight happily. She levitated her slumber party book and a quill, putting a check mark in the page while magically returning their manes to their natural appearance, essentially wasting the last thirty minutes of their lives. Tempest’s eye twitched dangerously. “Make overs, check. Next is – ooh! It says here we have to tell spooky stories. Who wants to go first?”

“I’ve got one,” Tempest said with an underlying sharpness to her tone. “It’s the story of the mad pony who murdered her friends because they drove her crazy with their stupid party. I bet that sounds familiar to you.”

“Never heard of it,” said Sunset, leering at Tempest. “But I have a better one. It’s about an ungrateful pony who lost all her friends even though they were trying to do something nice.”

“And what’s so scary about that?” said Tempest. “That actually sounds kind of peaceful.”

“Oh, you would think that, wouldn’t you?” Sunset sneered. “Little miss loner…”

“Wait a second…,” Twilight hummed, tapping her chin. “Those don’t sound like real stories.”

“What was your first clue?” said Tempest, giving her a blank stare.

“Ooh! Ooh! I’ve got one! I’ve got one!” Grubber jumped up and down, waving his hands excitedly. “Boss, remember the sand worms of Bone Dry Desert?”

“Oh yeah,” Tempest murmured, a devious grin curling on her lips. “You should totally tell them that one. I bet they’ll love it.”

Sunset cast a suspicious look at Tempest, but Grubber had already cut the lights from the room, casting them into darkness. Everything was pitch-black for many seconds until a little lamp flickered on between them, setting the perfect atmosphere for scary stories.

“What you are about to hear is based on a true story,” Grubber spoke in a spooky voice. “It all started many years ago in a place called Klugetown, a city of dangers south of Equestria. It was a couple weeks after the boss and I first met when she beat me up and stole my cupcake….”

While Grubber distracted them, Tempest took this opportunity to retreat to the window. She sat on the sill, leaning against the wall as she watched the rain patter on the glass. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Twilight and Sunset – Twilight was her first real friend in a long time – but she spent a lot of time building her reputation as the toughest pony in Equestria. It also reminded her of Glitter Drops and Spring Rain….

CRACK!

Tempest jumped at the booming thunder as a sharp bolt of lightning struck the courtyard, leaving a sizeable hole in the ground. Tempest leaned in closer to the window, staring at the fresh crater. She narrowed her eyes in concentration and – there! Something flashed inside the hole! The broken-horned mare gasped silently. Could it be…?”

“ …and though we managed to get back to Klugetown safely,” Tempest heard Grubber reaching the climax of the story, “we never ever dared to return to the Bone Dry Desert. Because out there, under the shifting sands, waiting to drag its next victim into the depths is…THE TERRIFYING SAND WORM!”

A crack lightning flashed conveniently at the same time, briefly distracting everypony long enough to wrap himself in several sheets, creating a tall figure that resembled the sand worm in his story, swaying ominously over Twilight and Sunset. The mares screamed and held each other in terror, which made Tempest fall off the window sill in surprise. The pudgy hedgehog guffawed out loud as he untangled himself from the sheets and flicked the lights back on, pointing a finger at Twilight and Sunset.

“Hah! You should see the looks on your faces!” Grubber slapped his knees and cackled. “Priceless!”

Sunset glared at Grubber as she untangled herself from Twilight, but the lavender mare clapped her hooves gleefully and summoned her slumber party guide, adding another check mark to the list.

“Scary stories, check!” said Twilight. “Now, who wants s’mores!”

“Uh, you mares get started on that,” said Tempest in rushed tone. She cast a worried glance back at the window, then started speed walking to the door. “I uh, need to do something really quick.”

“Tempest…,” Sunset called in a warning tone.

“I’ll be back, I promise,” Tempest assured her as she stepped outside.

Sunset cast a look of suspicion on her, but Tempest had already galloped down the corridor.

Tempest ran through the hallways until she came to a screeching hall at the corner to the foyer, cautiously peeking around. To her relief, the royal guards were not posted at the front doors – most likely weather-proof the rest of the castle. After making sure that no one was watching, Tempest dashed to the double doors, removing the locks and latches, and then slipped outside into the raging storm.

Tempest grimaced as pushed against the fierce winds, shielding her eyes with her hoof, her cloak billowing around her body. The raindrops hit as hard as hailstones against her coat and the mud around her ankles hindered her movements, but Tempest kept moving forward. She briefly tried to remember where the lightning strike occurred before crossing the courtyard. The hole in the ground was already filled to the brim in muddy water, but Tempest could still make out the outline of something underneath. The broken-horned mare pulled up her cloak and reached down inside, sloshing through the grime and twigs until her hoof connected with something solid and pulled it out.

Tempest was holding a silver canister marked with an emblem that looked like –

“What’re you doing out here?”

Tempest swiftly stuffed the canister under her cloak, pausing with apprehension. She turned around slowly. Sunset Shimmer was leering down at Tempest from the top of the front steps, casting a magical barrier to protect herself from the storm. Tempest met the sunny mare’s gaze, unblinking and stone-faced.

“Shouldn’t you be making s’mores with Twilight?” asked Tempest evenly.

“I could say the same for you,” Sunset retorted. “You ran off in a hurry, I was starting to think that you were trying to skip out on her first slumber party.”

“Well, I was just heading back there right now,” said Tempest, marching purposely up the steps. “So let’s back inside – “

Sunset threw out her arm to stop Tempest before she could move any further. The violet mare stopped and turned her head to Sunset with a quirked brow.

“You never did answer my question,” said Sunset. “What were you doing out here?”

“If you must know,” said Tempest, maintaining her level tone. “I thought I dropped something when we were running from the storm. I came out here to see if I could find it.”

“It must’ve been something pretty important to take your chances out here in this weather,” Sunset remarked, gesturing to the roaring winds and the loose debris flying around the sky.

“It was,” said Tempest simply. “Now let’s get out of this rain – “

“What was it?” Sunset asked suddenly.

“Excuse me?” questioned Tempest.

“What was so important that you couldn’t wait after the storm to look for it?” asked Sunset suspiciously.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” said Tempest, furrowing her brow in irritation.

“Come on, you can tell me,” said Sunset in the fakest friendly voice Tempest had ever heard, nudging the violet mare in a would-be playful manner. “We’re friends. And friends can tell each other things.”

“Are we friends?” Tempest retorted, growing more annoyed. “Because you haven’t been acting very friendly all day, between giving me flack about my life choices and guilting me into a slumber party I never wanted to be a part of.”

“Well, I’m sorry I actually care about you!” Sunset snapped heatedly. “I’m sorry I want to see you do something better with your life than just being a common pickpocket! I’m sorry I want you to spend more time with your friends who care so much about you! That’s what friends do, you know? They care about each other.”

“Are you implying that I don’t care about my friends?” Tempest growled.

“You’re always hitting Grubber – “

“He’s a tough hedgehog. He can take it.”

“You don’t want to spend time at Twilight’s slumber party –

“I spend plenty of time with Twilight doing things we both enjoy.”

“And you’re always keeping secrets from everypony!” Sunset yelled angrily. “You know Grubber’s spooky story is the first time I ever heard about where you grew up?! You never tell us anything! You’re always shutting us out! We – I – want to get to know you better, but you never give anypony a chance!”

“Well, excuse me for not growing up in a cushy palace!” Tempest snapped. “Unlike you, I didn’t have a comfortable foalhood! I lost my horn! I lost my dream! I lost more than you could ever possibly imagine! Everything I ever had, I had to fight for with tooth and hoof! You have no idea what it was like for me!”

“And I never will because you never say anything!” Sunset yelled back. “We’re supposed to be friends! Why can’t you trust us?! We just want to help you! I want to help you!”

“I never asked for your help!” said Tempest.

“You shouldn’t have to!” Sunset screamed as the winds raged harder, almost as if sensing the rising tensions. “Friends – they help each other regardless whether or not it’s asked! Because friends are supposed to care about each other! And – and I care about you, Tempest! That’s why I want to do whatever I can to help!”

“Why do you care so much?!” asked Tempest. “Why is it so important that you think I need your help?!”

“Because…,” Sunset took a step back, as if shocked that Tempest would ask such a question. She looked down at her hooves  like she was expecting them to provide some kind of answer. “It’s, well…it’s because I…um, I….”

“Sunset? Tempest?”

The pair spun around to the double doors. Twilight and Grubber were poking their heads out through the gap; the hedgehog was carrying the aforementioned s’mores.

“You two were gone for a really long time,” said Twilight, looking uncomfortably between her friends. “…Is everything okay?”

“…Everything’s fine,” Tempest mumbled.

Without waiting for a response from Sunset, the violet unicorn threw the doors open and trudged through the foyer back down the hall to the sleeping quarters, trekking mud all over the pristine floor. The cleaning ponies were going to be furious.

Sunset dragged her hooves back inside, watching Tempest’s backside disappear around the corner, then hanged her head sadly. Grubber offered her the tray of freshly made s’mores hoping it would perk her up, but Sunset just shook her head morosely and starting slogged down the hallway after Tempest.

Twilight and Grubber exchanged disappointed gazes. What in Equestria happened between those two?





The atmosphere in Twilight’ room was oppressive; the uncomfortable silence was broken only by the claps of thunder and Grubber’s loud chewing. The lavender unicorn grimaced, looked between her two best friends who were sitting on opposite sides of the blanket circle with their backs to each other. Tempest was scowling at the floor, looking frustrated, while Sunset hanged her head somberly.

This was not how Twilight imagined her first slumber party would go. Though in all fairness, she half expected for something to blow up by now, so as far as Twilight was concerned, she was coming out ahead. Still, something needed to be done to save this party – and fast!

“H-Hey, girls, have you tried the s’mores yet? Twilight asked anxiously. “I think they came out pretty – “ But when she went to grab the s’mores she had worked hard to make, the tray was empty and Grubber face was smeared in chocolate and marshmallow. “Grubber!”

“What?! I eat when I’m upset!” cried Grubber.

“You must be upset all the time,” Tempest remarked. Surprisingly, Sunset let out a small chuckle, but quickly stifled it. Well, that was some progress, Twilight thought.

“Okay, so that’s a pass on the s’mores,” said Twilight, levitating her slumber party guide. “The next item of fun we have to do is…Truth or Dare.”

“It may as well just be called ‘dare’ since Tempest doesn’t know how to tell the truth,” Sunset commented snidely. And back to square one, Twilight thought dismally.

“And you’re such an expert on the subject?” Tempest scoffed.

“Element of Honesty,” Sunset replied simply.

“Which you only had for a month,” said Tempest, glaring.

“Which is a month longer than you’ve ever been honest,” Sunset retorted, her tone steadily rising.

“On second thought, why don’t we just skip the Truth or Dare section and move on?” Twilight laughed nervously, marking the book with a big ‘X’. Let's see what our next fun-fun-fun thing is, shall we? Hmm…what does this mean? Pillow fight?”

“Twilight, I know this is your first sleep over,” said Sunset sympathetically, “but I think it’s time we call this a wa – “

The sunny mare was cut off when she was slammed across the face by one of the dozens of pillows littering the floor. Sunset blinked in a stunned daze, spitting out the pillow feathers that had gotten into her mouth. She turned a sharp glare over to Tempest, who was shooting a smug smirk over her shoulder. Sunset gnashed her teeth furiously, growling like a savage beast.

“Mare, you just poked the dragon,” Sunset breathed venomously.

Sunset levitated the pillow and shot it back at Tempest with the force of a cannonball. Tempest had no time to react before she was plowed and sent flying into one of Twilight’s many bookcases; a hardcover novel fell out of its shelf and bopped her on the head. The violet mare rubbed the sore spot, glaring across the room at Sunset’s equally smug grin.

"Oh, it - is - on!" Tempest growled.

With the skill and finesse of a kung fu master, Tempest kicked ten pillows in the air and bucked each of them across the room one after the other. Sunset ducked out of the way of the first pillow, and bounced  away of the second, but the third slammed her in the face and the rest piled on top until she was buried in a mound of fluffiness. Sunset poked her head out from the top of the pile and sneered. She used her horn to levitate the pile and started throwing them back gatling gun style.

Tempest masterfully dodged all of the pillows flying her way with a series of acrobatic flips. When the last three came soaring her way, Tempest stood on her hind legs, snagged them out of the air, and redirected them back toward Sunset. But the sunny unicorn effortlessly caught them with her horn, lining them up in a neat row. She threw them back at Tempest just as the broken-horned mare threw back her own barrage – 

“Ooh, I get it!” said Twilight enthusiastically, seemingly unaware of the danger she was in. “Pillow – fight! Fun!”

“Hit the deck!” Grubber cried, tackling Twilight to the floor just as two pillows collided where she stood. Somehow, the collision made a booming shockwave, which was an amazing feat in itself. “This isn’t a pillow fight – it’s a pillow war! Every hedgehog for himself!” he cried while army crawling under the bed.

“Uh, girls?!” Twilight tried to call her friends. Sunset was levitating in a meditative pose, floating pillows around her in circles, launching them one by one. Tempest had clumped together a huge stack of pillows into one pile and bucked them all at once, shotgun style. “Girls?! Maybe you could take it down a notch?!”

“I will if she will!” Tempest shouted, leaping over another string of pillows.

“She’s the one who started it!” Sunset snapped back, forming a barrier of pillows to protect herself.

“Not like you didn’t deserve it!” Tempest retorted, cartwheeling across the room and rapid-fire shooting pillows off the floor.

“Why?! Because I just wanted you to be open with me for once?!” Sunset howled, sending an aerial bombardment across the bedchamber. “Is that really so bad to have someone care about you?!"

“Yes!” Tempest snapped as she ran up the bookcase and flipped backwards over the pillow barrage. “What I do is none of your business! I shouldn’t need to explain myself to anypony!”

“We’re supposed to be friends!” said Sunset, levitated dozens of pillows over her head into a giant ball. “Friends are supposed to support and trust each other!”

“Then why won’t you support me when I tell you I don’t want to tell you anything?!” Tempest yelled, bracing herself.

“But we’re friends!” Sunset asked, sounding hesitant for a moment. “We are friends…right?”

“Of course we are!” said Tempest, frowning.

“Then why don’t you trust me?” said Sunset.

“I do trust you!” Tempest proclaimed.

“Then why won’t you open up to us?” asked Sunset in a pleading tone.

“Because I’m afraid!” Tempest yelled in the heat of the moment.

The bedchamber instantly fell silent like a switch had been flipped. Sunset and Twilight stared at Tempest with shocked expressions; Grubber cautiously poked his head out from under the bed. Tempest looked away shamefully, rubbing her hoof. Sunset lowered herself back down to the floor, dispersing the giant pillow ball, and waited patiently for when the broken-horned mare was ready to talk. After a moment of unbearable silence, Tempest sighed.

“I’ve had friends that I trusted before and they all let me down,” said Tempest in a hollow voice. “I’ve had my trust broken so many times that it’s…difficult for me to be open with anypony. Eventually, I just learned to close myself off. To never let anypony get too close. That way I’ll never be hurt again.”

“…I’m sorry,” Sunset apologized, hanging her head shamefully. “I didn’t know….”

“I do think of you girls as my friends,” said Tempest earnestly. “And I do trust you both. And Starlight and Moon Dancer.”

“What about Trixie?” asked Twilight curiously.

“Do you really want me to answer that?” Tempest gave her a flat look. She heaved another heavy sigh and said, “You’re the first real friends I’ve had since my horn was broken, but you gotta remember that we only just met a month ago. I’m…I’m not ready to open up to you just yet.”

Everypony fell silent as they tried to digest Tempest’s sudden confession. The violet mare hanged her head, her chest stinging with genuine guilt. Sunset silently crossed the room – Twilight and Grubber observing from the sidelines – until she was standing in front of Tempest. The sunny mare gave her friend a long, hard look before suddenly throwing herself at Tempest and pulling her into a tight hug. Tempest went stiff and wide-eyed; Twilight gasped behind her hooves; Grubber’s jaw dropped dumbfoundedly.

“I’m sorry for pushing you so hard,” Sunset apologized remorsefully. “I wanted you to open up so badly that I didn’t even consider your feelings. Guess I’m not all that different from what I was like before the Daybreaker mess.”

“Well, I haven’t exactly been honest with you about it,” said Tempest, scratching her mane awkwardly.

“Well, if we’re being honest…,” said Sunset, pulling away from the hug. There was a light dusting of pink on her cheeks. “The reason why I was so insistent on you being more open was because…I really like you…a lot…and I was hoping we could be closer.”

“As friends or…?” Tempest left the sentence open-ended, a pleasant warmth suddenly filling her chest. That was new, the violet mare thought.

“Y -Yeah! Of course, as friends! Totally friends!” Sunset sputtered, laughing awkwardly. “I mean, what other reason could there be?! I can’t think of anything! Nope! Just friends!”

“Yeah, thought so…,” said Tempest, smiling softly. Sunset was painfully obvious.

“Look, I’m sorry I was so pushy with you?” Sunset apologized again. “I promise, from now on, I’ll stop trying to force you to share your feelings and give you space you need.”

“And I promise I’ll work harder to be more open with you,” said Tempest, offering her hoof. “Agreed?”

“Agreed,” said Sunset, smiling as they shook hooves.

The two of them ended up holding hooves longer than necessary, which both of them noticed, chuckling awkwardly and quickly letting go, looking away with sheepish smiles…. Buuut, the mood was effectively killed when Twilight suddenly popped in between the two and pulled them into a group hug.

“Oh, this is so great!” Twilight squealed excitedly, making Sunset and Tempest flatten their ears, cringing. “I’m so happy to see you two finally settled your differences!”

“Well, it wasn’t easy,” Tempest admitted with a laugh. “We’re both pretty stubborn.”

“Bullheaded is more like it,” said Sunset, snorting. “We’re sorry for ruining your slumber party, Twilight.”

“Are you kidding? This has been the best slumber party ever!” Twilight cheered. “We did make overs, told scary stories, ate s’mores, and had an amazing pillow fight! But the best part was seeing my best friends finally getting along..” She levitated her slumber party guide and marked it with a giant check over the entire page. “I declare my first slumber party a success!”

Tempest and Sunset high-hoofed and Twilight giggled happily…until Tempest’s stomach made a loud gurgling noise.

“Heh, heh, I never did get to eat those s’mores,” Tempest chuckled sheepishly.

“We can make some more!” Twilight declared enthusiastically as she raced out the door. “I’ll get the chocolate!”

“I’ll get the marshmallows!” Sunset called after Twilight, following at a more leisurely pace.

“And I’ll stay here and do absolutely nothing until you get back,” Tempest declared with a cocky grin.

Sunset rolled her eyes good-naturedly before walking out the room. Tempest waved her off with a kind smile…which quickly morphed into a despondent frown the second she was out of sight. She reached into her cloak as Grubber pulled himself out from under the bed.

“Aw, I’m so happy things work out for ya, boss,” Grubber said brightly until Tempest pulled out the canister she had collected from the courtyard. He let out a startled gasp. “Is that from…him?”

“Unfortunately…,” Tempest answered remorsefully.

The violet mare and hedgehog leaned in close, gazing apprehensively as the mark branded on the canister:





> The Joke's on You
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Mah lil’ pony…,” Apple Bloom sang cheerfully, skipping merrily down the street of Ponyville, carrying a basketful of apples on her back. “Ah used ta wonder what friendship could be…. Mah lil’ pony….”

Why was she in such a good mood today. Because it was the best (and only) Ponyville-centric holiday of the year: The Summer Harvest Festival

Every year, at the halfway point of the summer, everypony would celebrate the town’s farmers and their blessing of another bountiful crop. It was also their biggest money maker as Granny Smith used to tell them, because ponies from Vanhoover to Las Pegasus would come in droves for a taste of Sweet Apple Acres’ delicious apples. And Apple Bloom hoped certain someponies would make it, too.

The littlest apple farmer trotted into the town square, which had seemingly transformed overnight. Colorful banners were pulled up at each corner with lengths of streamers stretching between them. Oversized balloons of fruits and vegetables with strung up to the town hall’s second floor railing, making it look like an inflatable food bowl. Brightly-colored tents and humble wooden stalls formed two circles around the central building, creating a perfect ring pattern. Even the fountain statue had been decorated for the event (which was really just a fruit hat.) And the best part, everypony in Ponyville had come out to celebrate! …well, almost everypony, Apple Bloom thought in a moment of brief sadness.

Apple Bloom weaved her way through the sea of ponies with skill and precision without disturbing the apples on her flank until she arrived at her family’s apple stand. The Sweet Apple Acres stall was the biggest in the entire square because it was the most profitable and essentially the foundation of Ponyville, something Apple Bloom loved to shove in Diamond Tiara’s smug little face.

Her brother, Big Mac, the biggest non-alicorn pony you ever did see, was meticulously arranging the apples in some fashion that only he seemed to understand. Not that Apple Bloom cared so much as she nonchalantly bucked her load of apples with the rest, disrupting Big Mac’s apple harmony, to the older stallion’s displeasure.

“Phew! That’s the last o’ them, Big Mac!” Apple Bloom announced, wiping the pretend sweat from her brow. “We sure harvested a lot this year, huh?”

“Eeyup,” said Big Mac.

“Probably the biggest harvest we’ve had in forever,” stated Apple Bloom.

“Eeyup,” said Big Mac.

“And yer probably gonna need some help, huh?” said Apple Bloom in an innocent tone, fluttering her big orange eyes.

“Eeyup…,” said Big Mac, suspicious.

“So maybe ah could take over the stand for a little while…,” Apple Bloom proposed.

“Nnope,” Big Mac shook his head disapprovingly; Apple Bloom whined in disappointment.

“Hello, apple family!” Ponyville’s officiate, Mayor Mare, cantered up to their stand cheerfully, giving it a look over. “It looks like you have things well in order.”

“Eeyup,” said Big Mac.

“Well, that’s good,” said Mayor Mare, sounding relived. “Sweet Apple Acres is the cornerstone of the Summer Harvest Festival. And, well, this will be your first year without Granny Smith and your sister to help out, is that right?” she added, rubbing the back of her neck uncomfortably.

“Eeyup,” said Big Mac, nodding solemnly.

“It’s such a sad thing,” said Mayor Mare mournfully. “It was only last year that Granny Smith passed on peacefully and your sister moved away from Ponyville a few months after. I must say, it was rather surprising to hear how she just left like that. It seems rather irresponsible for someone like her.”

“She had a very good reason, Miss Mayor,” Apple Bloom interjected brightly. “But you don’t worry. Me and mah big brother can handle everythin’ just fine. Ain’t that right, Big Mac?”

“Eeyup,” said Big Mac proudly.

“And ah invited Moon Dancer and all her friends from Canterlot,” Apple Bloom added with a dazzling smile. “They should be ‘ere any minute.”

“The heroes of Equestria? How wonderful!” said Mayor Mare cheerfully. “Having the Mane 6 in Ponyville is certain to raise everypony’s morale, and will surely draw it a much larger crowd than last year, which will increase the town’s revenue. Good thinking, Apple Bloom,” she added, patting the filly’s head.

“Aw, shucks, ah just wanted ta hang out with mah friends,” said Apple Bloom bashfully. “Moon Dancer promised she’d come visit some time, and it’s been foreveeeeer since ah last saw them. Ah wonder when – wait, do y’all hear that?”

Big Mac and Mayor Mare perked up their ears, curious. Over the excited chatter of the harvest festival crowd, they could faintly hear a distant, single-noted ring. It started off sounding less than a high-pitched whistle, but steadily grew stronger the more time passed until they could make out the noise of six – no, seven – seven panic-stricken screams. Apple Bloom, Big Mac, and Mayor Mare searched around the festival grounds for the source, but couldn’t find anything that would seem likely. Then, based on a wild hunch, Apple Bloom tilted her head back, gapping at a growing outline of…something falling out of the sky.

“Hit the deck!” Apple Bloom yelled, pointing skyward.

Everypony in the area stared at the filly, then followed the direction of her hoof until they saw the flying object as well. The ponies shrieked and stampeded in every direction like frenzied chickens, running away from the impact zone. Big Mac pulled Apple Bloom by her tail and ducked behind the apple stand with Mayor Mare, dropping on their stomachs and throwing their hooves over their heads. They waited until they felt the ground tremble underneath them, making even Big Mac jumped, and the distinct sound of creaking wood. A few moments of silence passed before Apple Bloom and the others lifted their hooves, exchanging curious glances. Finally, Apple Bloom drew up the courage to climb up and peek over the edge of their stall. She exhaled a gleeful gasp when she spotted the familiar star-spangled wagon and a certain blue pony riding on top.

Trixie’s eyes bulged and her jaw dropped in a silent scream, still holding onto the reins for dear life. Slowly, the stagemare pried one of her hooves free and reached inside her cape. She pulled out a cracked pocket watch that was surprisingly still ticking, rolling her eyes to check it.

“Hey, we made good time,” said Trixie chipperly, instantly reverting to her normal mannerism. She hopped off the wagon, walked around to the back, and pounded on the door. “All right, we’re here, everypony out!”

While Trixie cantered around to the front again, the back door flew open and the remainder of the Mane 6 calmly exited the wagon. Their manes were disheveled, Tempest’s cloak was ruffled, and Moon Dancer’s glasses were askew, but they overall acted like nothing was different while calmly carrying Trixie’s supplies. Spike seemed to be the only one affected by the trip. The poor baby dragon laid flat across Twilight’s flank, covering his mouth with his claw to keep himself from vomiting.

“Uggh…why can’t we just take the train like normal ponies?” Spike groaned woozily.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Tempest chuckled, carrying Trixie’s hoofmade sign.

“It does seem a tad unnecessary,” Moon Dancer commented as she lifted crates of potion bottles with Twilight. “But you can’t argue that the trip is five times faster than the train.”

“Yeah, because Trixie somehow managed to repeat the most dangerous shortcut in the history of Equestria,” Twilight remarked.

“Hey, the Great and Powerful Trixie got you here in one piece, didn’t she?” snapped Trixie, annoyed.

“I think I left my stomach in the cave…,” Spike moaned.

“MOON DANCER!” Apple Bloom cried with joy, jumping out of her hiding spot. 

Moon Dancer turned around just in time to catch the excited filly with her horn in midair, giggling when she realized who it was, and pulled her in for a brief hug.

“Ah’m so happy y’all could make it!” said Apple Bloom excitedly.

“Well, you sent us an invitiation,” said Moon Dancer, ruffling the filly's mane playfully. “Sorry it took so long to visit. We’ve been a little…preoccupied.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” Sunset joined in while rolling the cauldron out of the wagon. “Between getting mobbed for gala tickets, the princess going missing on her day off, Trixie’s archenemy moving to Canterlot, the giant dragon snoring all over Equestria, near death by pillow fight, and Twilight screwing up every job possible – “

“Hey!” Twilight shouted indignantly.

“It’s amazing we even have a chance to breath,” Sunset finished.

"Aw, ah'm just happy y'all made it," Apple Bloom smiled.

“As am I,” Mayor Mare jumped in prim and properly, “As mayor of Ponyville, I think I speak for everypony when I say it is our esteemed privilege to welcome you to our humble town.”

“Aw, you don’t need to do anything special,” Starlight waved her hoof as she unloaded the cases of herbs. “We’re just here to enjoy the Summer Harvest Festival same as any other pony.”

“Then…what’s all that?” Apple Bloom asked curiously, pointing at the equipment.

“This…,” said Trixie dramatically, patting the cauldron, “is opportunity knocking.”

“Huh?” Apple Bloom tilted her head, confused.

“Trixie wants to peddle her potions for the festival,” Starlight translated.

“Business has been slow in Canterlot,” Trixie explained. “So Trixie will try her luck in Ponyville.”

"But potions ain't very...harvest-y," said Apple Bloom.

"Nnope," said Big Mac.

"Well, potions are made from plant petals, roots, oils, and - in the the case of Trixie's semi-famous Fizzy Fruit Potions - fruits and vegetables," Trixie proclaimed proudly. "All of which are harvested by...plant...ponies."

"That seems like a stretch," Apple Bloom commented.

"Eeyup," said Big Mac.

“Well, if I knew you were coming,” said Mayr Mare, concerned, “I would’ve pushed some paperwork around to get you a spot in the festival. Hold on, give me a moment to think about this…,” she mumbled to herself, tapping her chin in thought.

“Trixie will just take the spot next to Apple Bloom’s,” said Trixie simply.

The stagemare illuminated her horn, casting her aura on the wagon’s wheels. She telepathically turned the wagon and drove it into the strawberry stand next to the Sweet Apple Arce’s stand, crushing the stall and the pony operating it (“MY WING!” the yellow pegasus cried.)

“Walk it off, Strawberry Sunrise!” Mayor Mare shouted while Trixie finished parking the wagon. “Well…I suppose that’s taken care of. Though I am going to need you to sign some paperwork.”

“Twilight Sparkle can do it for Trixie!” Trixie announced happily.

“What?! Why should I do your work?!” snapped Twilight.

“Because you’re so good at it,” Trixie answered in a flattering tone, nudging up to the lavender mare. “You’re so talented, and brilliant, and beautiful – “ Moon Dancer wished she had something to drink so she could spit it out. “Trixie could try to do all those complicated forms by herself, but Trixie would never be able to do them half as well as Twilight Sparkle could.”

“Oh, I’m not that impressive,” said Twilight bashfully. “But I suppose I could take care of it if you think I can. Lead the way, Mayor Mare.”

Tempest strolled up to Trixie’s side and waited until Twilight and the mayor were out of sight before hoofbumping the stagemare with an impressed, “Nice.”

Sunset finished setting the cauldron into place, then telekinetically created a firepit underneath the pot before igniting the kindling. Starlight and Moon Dancer had set up two tables behind the cauldron, one for empty potion bottles and the other for the ingredients, which were organized by shape and color. Tempest was lying on the top of Trixie’s wagon, moving the hoofpainted sign to Trixie’s whims until it looked just right (and by that, I mean lopsided.) Apple Bloom just stayed back the whole time with a wide smile, content with just watching her heroes work.

“Whelp, that oughta do it, everypony,” said Trixie, clapping her hooves. “You have Trixie’s gratitude – “

“And a share of the profits,” said Tempest.

“…Trixie will consider it,” said Trixie after a brief pause. She illuminated her horn again and telekinetically lifted an ornate blue, star-patterned chest out of the wagon. “Trixie just needs to get out her essential ingredients and – WHAT THE HAY!”

She found the chest empty save for a single sheet of paper at the bottom. Curious, she levitated the paper with her horn, noticing something was scribbled on it, and read aloud:

“'Hah, hah, your products have been pilfered by the powerful and prestigious practitioner of prestidigitation….’” The stagemare crumpled the note, waving a shaking hoof to the air, and screamed, “CHAAAARMYYYYYYY!!!!!”

“We really should’ve seen that coming,” Starlight commented with an unimpressed stare.

“What is Trixie going to do?” said Trixie, pacing back and forth in worry. “Those were Trixie’s most important ingredients; they are the key component in everything that Trixie makes. Without them, Trixie can only make subpar potions. If Trixie sells potions at half potency, everypony will chase Trixie out of town with pitchforks and torches like they did in Foaledo."

"That's a story I definitely have to hear," said Tempest.

“Can’t you just go buy some more?” Sunset suggested.

“They were specially imported from all Equestria.” Said Trixie, pressing her head against the cauldron with a defeated moan. “Including the Sapphire Shade Lilies, which only grow in dark, shadowy forest areas like the ones in Shire Lanka. It’ll take weeks to order a new batch….”

“Or y’all could ask Zecora,” Apple Bloom suggested optimistically.

“Zecora?” Moon Dancer perked up.

“That zebra witch doctor Trixie talked about?” asked Starlight.

“Potion master – not witch doctor!” Trixie exclaimed. “Trixie’s potion teacher, Potion Nova, used to say that Zecora was the only pony – er, zebra – in all of Equestria that could rival her potion crafting skills. And she lives in the Evetrfree Forest, doesn’t she? That’s the perfect environment to grow the herbs and flowers that Trixie needs! Yes, if anypony would have Trixie’s essential potion ingredients, it must be her!”

“Moon Dancer and ah could go ta Zecora’s hut and rustle up them ingredients y’all need,” Apple Bloom offered, flashing a wide smile in Moon Dancer’s direction that betrayed her true motives. “We’ll be back lickety-split.”

Tempest leaned in close to Moon Dancer with an amused smirk and muttered in her ear, “Aw, your biggest fan wants to spend time with you. How adorable.”

“Shut up,” Moon Dancer grumbled embarrassingly, shoving Tempest away, who laughed out loud. “Anyway, I don’t think it’s a good idea to be taking a little filly into someplace dangerous like the Everfree Forest. Remember the last time we were there? We got attacked by Timberwolves.”

“Because Daybreaker sent them to throw us off the path,” Sunset reminded her.

“Aw, there ain’t no need ta fret,” said Apple Bloom, brimming with confidence. “I know the way ta Zecora’s place like the back of my hoof.” She then noticed something on the back of her hoof and said, “Has that always been there?”

“And you’re okay with this?” Moon Dancer asked Big Mac.

“Eeyup,” said Big Mac.

“He’s a real chatterbox, isn’t he?” Starlight whispered sarcastically to Tempest.

“Aw, c’mon, Moon Dancer!” Apple Bloom whined, her lip quivering. “Let meh come with ya. Don’t ya want to hang out with meh.”

“No, of course I do!” Moon Dancer shouted quickly. She wasn’t good with crying foals. “I was just saying that um….”

“Attention, everypony!” Everypony turned as one toward the town hall, where Mayor Mare stood on the top steps. “The Summer Harvest Festival will official begin in one hour! Please, everypony finish setting up your wares before then!”

“BWAH! No time!” screamed Trixie, flailing her hooves hysterically. “I don’t care who goes! Just somepony get Trixie her supplies quickly!” She levitated a quill from her cape, furiously scribbled on the back of Charmy’s note, and slapped the paper in Moon Dancer’s face. “Bring back everything on this list. And make absolutely sure you don’t touch the Sapphire Shade Lilies directly! It’ll contaminate the mixture!”

“All right, sheesh, keep your cape on,” Moon Dancer grimaced as she pried the list from her muzzle. “Well, I guess we don’t have much of a choice. Looks like we’re going zebra hunting, Apple Bloom.”

“Yay!” Apple Bloom cheered, bouncing on her hooves like a jackrabbit.





After her last adventure in the Everfree Forest, Moon Dancer had not been keen on a return trip. But Apple Bloom cantered along the dirt path with a skip in her step and a smile on her lips. She wasn’t at all concerned about the ominous noises or the glowing eyes lurking in the shadows. Apple Bloom was a very brave pony, Moon Dancer thought amusingly.

“Ah’m glad we got ta spend time like this together,” commented Apple Bloom happily, bouncing on her hooves. “You know, I never get a chance ta thank ye.”

“For what?” asked Moon Dancer curiously.

“For savin' mah life.,” answered Apple Bloom. “Miss Mayor told meh what happened after ah passed out. Y’all could’ve just left us and gone after those Elements of Harmony thingies, but you wanted ta stay and save everypony in Ponyville. Yer a hero, Moon Dancer, just like mah sister.”

“Your sister?” Moon Dancer repeated curiously. Apple Bloom slapped a hoof over her mouth like she had said something she shouldn’t have. Curious. “You mentioned having a big sister when we first met, but I only saw your brother at the festival. Why isn’t she helping out?”

“Er, well…,” said Apple Bloom, looking around shiftily. “She’s…not in Ponyville anymore.”

“Why not?” asked Moon Dancer.

“Well, ya see…,” Apple Bloom started, tapping her hooves anxiously. “The thing is…. Oh, look, there’s Zecora’s hut!”

The young filly pointed behind Moon Dancer and found a tranquil-looking home in the woods. It looked like somepony had refurbished a thick oak tree and inserted a door and some windows. There several colorful bottles and bags hanging from the branches and a tribal mask just laying on the roots. No matter what Trixie said, this was definitely the home of a witch doctor, Moon Dancer thought.

Apple Bloom and Moon Dancer approached the door and the bespectacled unicorn was taken aback when her younger companion just walked inside without knocking.

“Zecora! Ye in here?!” Apple Bloom called loudly.

“Apple Bloom, you can’t just barge into somepony’s house!” Moon Dancer chastised her, which seemed hypocritical when she marched into the hut herself. “It’s very rude to – “

“I wondered who had entered my room.” 

Moon Dancer spun around  and was suddenly confronting a large, scary-looking tribal mask. The unicorn jumped in the air like a frightened cat, falling backards. Apple Bloom seemed to take everything in stride. The mask laughed and a hoof appeared around the edges, pulling it aside. From behind the mask appeared a kindly-faced zebra mare with a monochrome mohawk and dozens of golden bangles around her neck and right hoof.

“Now I see it is just young Apple Bloom,” said the zebra, chuckling.

“Hey, Zecora,” Apple Bloom greeted casually, then turned to Moon Dancer. “Moon Dancer, this is mah friend Zecora. Zecora, this is my other friend, Moon Dancer.”

“Uh, nice to meet you,” Moon Dancer said cautiously, rising to her hooves. “Though the mask was a little er...unexpected."

“I did not mean to give you a fright,” said Zecora as she hanged the mask on the wall. “I was just coming back from a long hunting night. But the night is over and my tasks are through. So tell me, what can I do for the two of you.”

“Oh, Luna, she’s a rhymer,” Moon Dancer complained under her breath.

“We need yer help, Zecora,” Apple Bloom explained. “Our friends lost all her potion stuff and she needs more before the Summer Harvest Festival starts in less than a hour.”

“Ah, if it’s potions you need, you’ve come to the right place,” said Zecora eagerly. “Tell me, what is it you need that your friend did misplace?”

“Uh, she gave us a list,” said Moon Dancer, levitating the reused note and passing it off to Zecora. “Got anything on here that we can borrow. I’ve got a few bits to – “

“Any payment is not required,” said Zecora, looking over the list with a small smile. “Your friend’s craft is something to be admired. Black iris, red orchid, and garlic to boot. Her knowledge of potions is very astute. Come, I will show you what you will need if you wish your friend’s business to succeed.”

“Great, more rhyming,” Moon Dancer grumbled, but nonetheless followed the zebra around the hut.

While Moon Dancer and Zecora collected the ingredients from the zebra’s stores, Apple Bloom decided to take a look around the hut. Apple Bloom always loved coming to Zecora’s place because it was always full of fascinating things you wouldn’t see anywhere else. The tribal masks were treasures from her homeland Farasi; supposedly they said "hello" and "welcome." The cauldron that took up the middle of the room was always bubbling with something every time she visited. Apple Bloom peeked over the cauldron brim and saw today’s concoction…. Gravy?

The little apple farmer just shrugged her shoulders and moved on. 

Zecora and Moon Dancer were still collecting items on the opposite side of the hut, so Apple Bloom investigated the zebra’s crafting table. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary: a recently washed pestle and mortar, a hoofful of yellow flowers waiting to be grounded, and the finished product in a bowl next to it like. Apple Bloom absently poked one of the hanging potions bottles in boredom when the rope suddenly snapped. The bottle hit the ground – thankfully not breaking – and rolled under the table.

“Shoot!” Apple Bloom cursed. She looked back at Moon Dancer and Zecora. They haven't noticed anything yet. The little apple farmer quickly crawled underneath the table, muttering, “Please don’t see me, please don’t see me.”

She successfully grabbed the dropped bottle and started to crawl out when something caught her eye in the corner of the space. It was a wicker basket. A very odd place to hide something like this, Apple Bloom thought.

Unable to withhold her curiosity, Apple Bloom pulled the basket closer to herself and quietly opened the lid. It was filled with a strange type of flower with bright-blue petals that gleamed even in the dark underside. They reminded Apple Bloom of the sapphires that Sweetie Bell’s sister used to use in the clothes before she moved away. Apple Bloom extended a hoof to touch them -

“Just a little dash of spice, and I do believe this will suffice.”

Apple Bloom jumped and slammed her head on the table with a loud thump! She quickly climbed out from underneath, unconsciously dragging out the wicker basket with her. It looked like Moon Dancer and Zecora were finishing up. Apple Bloom quickly hid the basket behind her flank, instinctively hiding from potential trouble.

“And add a little bit of fluxweed,” said Zecora, stuffing the bundle of stems into Moon Dancer’s saddlebag, “and that should be all you need.”

“Thanks for the help, Zecora,” said Moon Dancer appreciatively, going over the list one more time. “That should be the last of – no, wait, hold on a second. We skipped one: The Sapphire Shade Lily.”

“Oh dear, how could I have been so silly,” said Zecora, bopping herself playfully. “I nearly forgot the Sapphire Shade Lily. Provide me a moment or two while I get them for you.”

She stepped sideways a couple paces and examined one of the shelves. The zebra witch doctor hummed curiously as she moved around a few bottles with a dissatisfied look. She paused for a moment and looked in Apple Bloom’s direction. The filly stiffened and waved with a nervous smile, hoping she looked innocent. Zecora quirked a brow, but said nothing and went back to the shelf, to Apple Bloom’s relief.

“I cannot find the lily; that is very odd,” Zecora hummed. “Or perhaps it is my memory that is crudely flawed.”

“You can’t find the lily?” asked Moon Dancer. “Are you sure?”

“I’m afraid they are no longer in the place where I search,” said Zecora, frowning. “I’m sorry, it seems I’ve left you in quite a lurch. I hate to think that your time was a waste, all because of something I misplace.”

“Ugh, Trixie’s gonna blow a blood vessel if we come up short,” Moon Dancer groaned. “Maybe we could go gather some more. You know where they grow, right?”

“I do know where we could find your precious blue flower,” said Zecora, “but I am afraid the journey will take more than an hour. Even if we were to sprint and run, I fear the festival would be over and done.”

Moon Dancer hanged her head, groaning in disappointment, but Apple Bloom visibly perked. Did she say ‘blue flower?’ Like the basket full of flowers that she was hiding behind her back? Had she accidentally found them?

“We don’t have time to go on a scavenger hunt,” said Moon Dancer, “so I guess Trixie will have to make do with what we’ve got. Hooves crossed she doesn't bite my head off.”

“Then I guess you will be on your way,” said Zecora, walking over and opening the door for them. “I wish you both a pleasant day.”

Apple Bloom thought she should tell Zecora that she found the missing flowers, to let her know they were taking them. Her sister always said it was important to be honest with ponies about things. But before she had a chance to say anything, Moon Dancer was pushing her urgently out the door, insistent on getting back to Ponyville quickly. And then Apple Bloom thought, Zecora was going to letting them borrow it anyway. She'll just bring back the basket and explain later.

Zecora watched the pair until they were swallowed by the forest. She shut the door quietly, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. She walked over to her crafting table, looking over the supplies. Nothing seemed out of place. She bent down and stuck her head underneath. Her suspicions were confirmed when she saw the corner empty.

“Oh dear,” Zecora muttered, standing up straight. “This will not end well, I fear.”





When Moon Dancer and Apple Bloom returned to Ponyville, the festival was already in full swing. The streets were so packed that Apple Bloom got lost four times in ten minutes, forcing Moon Dancer to carry the filly on her back. They made it back to the Sweet Apple Acres stand, which had a modest number of customers. But when she turned to Trixie’s wagon, her jaw dropped when she saw dozens of ponies lining up.

“What is the name of Luna?!” Moon Dancer shouted in shock.

“Moon Dancer!” The bespectacled unicorn perked up as Twilight shuffled her way through the crowd toward them. For some reason, she was wearing a safety vest and a hard hat with a siren light. “Moon Dancer, thank Luna your back! We need some serious back up!”

“Twilight, what the hay is all this?” asked Moon Dancer, gesturing to the crowd.

“So, you know how we’re pretty famous for defeating Daybreaker?” said Twilight; Moon Dancer nodded. “Well, apparently a lot of ponies want to meet the heroes of Equestria, asking for autographs and photoshoots.”

“Is anyone actually here because of Trixie’s potions?” questioned Moon Dancer.

“She’s giving out free autographs for everypony who makes a purchase,” explained Twilight. “While I don’t approve of the method, it’s a good business strategy.”

“Leave it to Trixie to take advantage of the situation,” Moon Dancer grumbled.

“Twilight, Moon Dancer, we’ve got trouble!” Starlight burst through the crowd, breathing heavy like she had just run a marathon. “Twilight, it’s bad! Real bad!

“Whoa, slow down, Starlight,” Twilight said calmly. “What happened?”

“A bunch of mares started getting cozy with Tempest and now Sunset looks ready to kill them,” gasped Starlight.

“Are you kidding me?!” Twilight groaned, facehoofing herself. “Of all the…. Ugh! Come on, we need to break this up before Sunset does something we’ll all regret. Moon Dancer, we may need your help.”

“One second,” said Moon Dancer. She levitated Apple Bloom off her back with the supplies, and asked her, “Can you get these things to Trixie for me?”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Apple Bloom, saluting.

Moon Dancer nodded in relief before following Twilight and Moon Dancer into the crowd. Apple Bloom, not having the advantages of unicorn magic, had to drag the heavy saddlebags across the ground with her teeth. Several ponies complained as they tripped over her, but Apple Bloom kept moving until she made it to the wagon. Trixie was stirring the bubbling cauldron like a madpony, sweating profusely as she consulted her potion notes.

“Trixie enjoys being popular, but not like this!” Trixie yelped.

“Hey, Trixie, ah – “ Apple Bloom called, but Trixie cut her off.

“Apple Bloom, thank Luna you’re here!” Trixie cried tears of joy. “Did you get what Trixie needed?!”

“Yep, right ‘ere,” said Apple Bloom proudly, nudging the saddlebag. “Ah even found you….” She reached behind her flank and presented the wicker basket she took from Zecora’s. “Ta-da! Your blue flower lily…things!”

“The Sapphire Shade Lilies!” Trixie sighed in relief. She levitated the basket and the saddlebag to herself. “Trixie hopes this will be enough satisfy this ravenous crowd.” She opened up the wicker basket and levitated one of the flowers out, inspecting it with a curious look. “Hmm…this flower looks different than what Trixie normally uses. Are you sure – “

The stagemare was interrupted by a magical explosion somewhere in the crowd. Trixie and Apple Bloom looked over, eyes widening, as Starlight collapsed in front of them, smoke wafting from her flank.

“We’ve lost control of Sunset!” Starlight cried. “You need to get this crowd moving – NOW!”

“Um…,” Trixie looked apprehensive, but reluctantly dumped the entire basket of blue flowers into the mixture and stirred. “Trixie’s sure it’s probably nothing to worry about…. All right, who’s up first?!” The crowd began to wave their hooves and shouted wildly as they moved closer. “Back! Back, you animals!”

“Ah…think ah’ll just get back to mah big brother,” said Apple Bloom, backing away nervously. “You uh…y’all have a nice day now.”

Apple Bloom quickly hightailed it out of there before the crowd swallowed the Mane 6.





“Attention, everypony! The Summer Harvest Festival is over! I repeat – “

Princess Luna had mercifully raised the moon, signaling the end of the day. The town square had been mostly cleared out once the sun had set and the only ponies that stayed behind were the ones to clean up. That included the tired heroes of Equestria.

Apple Bloom couldn’t help giggling at the sight of her heroes sprawled all over the ground in varying forms of exhaustion. From Starlight rocking back and forth in a fetal position, to Sunset lying facedown in the dirt, mumbling incoherently. Trixie groaned as she lifted herself up by her elbows, her hat askew and her cape missing entirely.

“All in favor of never coming back for another event?” she asked, grimacing.

“Aye…,” The mane 6 moaned weakly.

Spike, who was nonchalantly eating an apple on the wagon's windowsill, commented, “Man, talk about lazy. You ponies need to get out more.”

“Shut it, dragon!” Tempest spat. “You didn’t do anything all morning!”

“That’s not true,” said Spike defensively. “I had to wait in this super long line for the bathroom, then I walked around all day carrying all the fruits and veggies that I bought – “

Sunset used her horn to throw an empty potion bottle at Spike’s head, knocking the dragon back inside the wagon with a crash!

“Well…it was a lot of hard work…but it was worth it,” Twilight panted. “Especially since we’re all getting an even share of the profits for all our hard work. Right, Trixie?” she added with a hint of a threat in her tone.

“Ugh…Trixie is too tired to argue,” Trixie groaned. “Yes, yes, you’ll all be getting a cut.” The Mane 6 would’ve cheered if they were so exhausted. “And as a reward for all your hard work, Trixie made a little something for everypony.” There was a visible strain on her expression as she used her horn to levitate a tray hidden behind the cauldron, setting it down on the supply table. The tray carried several bottles of fizzy liquid. “Trixie’s semi-famous Fizzy Fruit Potions. Trixie had just enough ingredients to make one for everypony.”

The Mane 6 weakly levitated the bottles toward themselves, immediately guzzled the potions down, sighing in sweet, fizzy relief. Spike had marched out of the wagon and made a beeline for the tray, only to discover that it was empty.

“Hey, what about me!” Spike complained.

“Fizzy Fruit Potions are for working ponies only,” Trixie hissed. Spike crossed his arms, grumbling under his breath.

“Hey, Apple Bloom, do you want to try some…,” Moon Dancer offered the potion when she noticed Apple Bloom curled on the ground, snoring away contently. She and Big Mac exchanged amused smiles. “The little filly must’ve tired herself out from all the excitement.”

“Eeyup,” said Big Mac.

“You should probably take her home,” Moon Dancer suggested. “Tell her we’ll talk more tomorrow.”

“Eeyup,” said Big Mac, lifting the tiny filly with one hoof and nestling her on his flank.

“Don’t forget to apply the topical ointment before you go to bed,” Trixie reminded him. “It’ll sooth that aching backpain in no time.”

“Eeyup,” said Big Mac, holding up the bottle he purchased from the stagemare.

Moon Dancer watched the apple family leave with a small smile on her face before taking another swig of her potion.





A new day dawned over the Sweet Apple Acres farmstead. Little Apple Bloom lay tucked away in her bed as the sun’s morning light peaked through her window. The filly mumbled as the glare hit her eyes and turned away promptly, seekiing to gain a few more minutes of sleep.

“Mmm…Cutie Mark Crusader witness testifier…,” Apple Bloom mumbled.

But quiet morning was broken by a sudden crash from downstairs, startling Apple Bloom awake, when she heard a frightened wail.

“Big Mac?!” Apple Bloom cried, throwing off the sheets and jumping out of bed. “Hold on, big brother, ah’m a’comin’!”

Apple Bloom dashed out of her room and bounded down the stairs three steps at a time. She grinded to a halt at the bottom and turned the corner into the kitchen where she heard the screaming. Big Mac was standing by the stove with the remnants of pancake batter splattered on the floor with the frying pan. He had his hooves wrapped securely around his muzzle when he turned to Apple Bloom, looking terrified of something.

“What happened?!” yelped Apple Bloom, looking around the kitchen. “Is it a burglar?! A gang of bandits?! Are those cockatrices varmints back again?! Talk ta meh, Big Mac!”

Big Mac looked like he was struggling to keep his mouth closed, but after a few moments of increasingly awkward silence, the large stallion visibly trembled until he could hold back no longer – 

“Oh-sweet-Luna-Apple-Bloom-it’s terrible!” Big Mac said at an alarming speed, taking Apple Bloom aback. “I-woke-up-this-morning-pleasent-as-can-be-and-thought-I-would-make-pancakes-to-thank-you-for-all-your-harder-work! So-I-was-making-pancakes-like-normal-singing-a-little-ditty-when-a-realized-I-couldn’t-stop! My-mouth-just-kept-moving-and-moving-and-moving! I-tried-not-thinking-of-anything-to-say-but-I-just-kept-talking-and-talking-and-talking-and-talk-“ In her panic, Apple Bloom grabbed the closest thing she could find (a pineapple of all things) and plugged it in Big Mac’s mouth. “…Fank gu.”

“What in tarnation happened ta you?” asked Apple Bloom. “Ah haven’t heard you talk that much since…well, ever.” Big Mac said something, but she couldn’t make it out through the pineapple. “Maybe ya caught some kinda nasty bug or somethin’ Or maybe ya’ve been cursed. What’re we gonna do?” Big Mac mumbled something again. “That’s a good idea! Moon Dancer and ‘er friends would know what ta do! I’ll be back later, Big Mac!”

Apple Bloom ran out of the house and headed to town, leaving Big Mac to ponder how he was supposed to get this pineapple out of his mouth.





It suddenly occurred to Apple Bloom when she ran to the unusually empty town square that she had no idea where the Mane 6 were staying during their visit. In retrospect, she probably should’ve asked Moon Dancer when they were going to Zecora’s. Fortunately, she knew were she could find at least one pony.

Trixie’s wagon was still parked on the side of the road, sitting over the crushed debris of Strawberry Sunrise’s stand. Apple Bloom pounded away at the door frantically, shouting for help. She heard a soft creak and some sleepy mumbling before the door opened. Trixie, in her starry nightcap, grumbled as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

“Trixie, it’s an emergency!” Apple Bloom yelped before Trixie had a chance to speak. “Somethin’ wrong with Big Mac! Ah need yer help!”

“Ugh…Apple Bloom, do you know what - [cock-a-doodle-doo!]” Trixie slapped her hooves over her mouth with her eyes bulging. Apple Bloom’s jaw practically hit the ground. Trixie slowly moved her hooves away. “Trixie doesn’t know where that – [Honk!]” She slapped her hooves over her mouth again.

“Are…you okay…?” Apple Bloom asked strangely.

“What is – [beep!] – happening – [tweet, tweet!] – to Trixie – [AWOOGA!]” Trixie screamed.

“Oh no, you caught somethin’, too!” Apple Bloom yelped.

“There has to be – [Clang!] – some sort of – [quack, quack!] – explanation!” Trixie shouted; her words overlapped with multiple sound effects.

“Oh no, not you, too!”

Trixie and Apple Bloom turned as Twilight galloped up to them with Spike riding on her back. Trixie didn’t dare open her mouth to greet her in fear of some weird sound effect coming out. Unfortunately, she and Apple Bloom couldn’t stop themselves from laughing when they saw Twilight, more specifically her horn. It flopped all around like a wet noodle (or something not appropriate for this age rating) covered in blue spots. Twilight caught their stifled laughter and glared.

“Don’t you dare say a word,” she threatened.

“We won’t…we promise…,” Apple Bloom didn’t sound convincing when she was snickering behind her hooves.

“Ugh, how did this even happen?” Twilight moaned. “I woke up this morning with a floppy horn and I don’t know why! I was on my way to the Golden Oaks Library – which sounds very familiar, by the way – when I ran into you ponies.”

“Do ye know what’s happening to everypony?” asked Apple Bloom, worried.

“I have no idea,” Twilight shook her head, her horn flopping every which way. “It could be an illness, or an allergy , or – “

“It could be a curse,” Spike suggested.

“Spike, don’t be ridiculous,” Twilight scoffed. “There’re no such things as curses.”

“Says the magic unicorn,” Spike grumbled.

“There has to be a logical reason why this is happening to us,” said Twilight. “Something real like – “

“A curse!” Moon Dancer cantered up to the group, who all leaped backwards together with surprised yelps. Moon Dancer’s glasses were not in their usual place…because her eyes had been magnified ten times, taking up most of her face. “We’ve been cursed! It must have been Charmy, or some super villain, or that pretzel stand pony that’s always giving me the stink eye!”

“Now, hold on there, Moon Dancer, let’s not jump to conclusions – “ said Twilight calmly.

“Curse or not, I am not okay looking like this,” Starlight Glimmer was next to join the group…only they didn’t know it was her at first. Her body and mane style were the same, but her coat, mane, and even her Cutie Mark had been recolored to look like…Twilight Sparkle. “Why do I get the feeling this is some kind of meta joke?”

“Well, you don’t look that bad?” Twilight giggled sheepishly. Starlight growled dangerously. “Um…maybe we should ask Sunset for help. She’s Princess Luna’s student. Maybe she’s heard about this strange illness.”

“Yeah, about that…” Starlight said slowly, stepping aside.

All jaws hit the ground when they saw Sunset Shimmer…that is to say, a foal that looked like Sunset Shimmer. The princess’s student had been regressed back into a baby, sucking on a pacifier innocently as she rode on the back of a cross-eyed alligator.

“…I know we should be more concerned about Sunset being a foal,” Moon Dancer was the first to break the silence, “but where did the alligator come from?”

“Oh no, this is bad! This is really, really bad!” Twilight screamed.

“Calm down, Twilight,” said Twi – I mean, Starlight soothing. “Take a deep – “

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” Twilight shrieked, making Starlight jump. “We’ve all been infected by some strange illness and – wait, where’s Tempest?” she asked not seeing the brooding mare around.

“Over here…,” a weak, almost pitiable voice came from behind Trixie wagon.

“Tempest, are you all right?” asked Moon Dancer, worried.

“…What do you think?” Tempest mumbled softly.

“Oh no, did you get infected, too?” asked Twil – STARLIGHT, biting her hoof in concern.

“…kinda.”

“Well, what – [Nyaa!] did it do – [Buckawk!] – to you?” asked Trixie.

“…I don’t want to say.”

“Oh, come on, it can’t be any worse than the rest of us,” said Twilight.

Oh, how wrong she was. Because when the brooding mare stepped out from behind the wagon, the ponies were forced to bear witness it the single most horrifying thing in the entire existence of the universe. It was so terrible that Trixie hopped up on her hooves and screamed, though it came out sounding like a cartoon bird - 



"KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Spike screamed.

Tempest (?) moaned, plopping on the ground with her hooves over her eyes, saying, “You might as well. Death would be a mercy compared to living like this.”

“Whoa, whoa, let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” said Twili – STARLIGHT (GAH!). “Let’s just take a moment to figure this out.”

“Okay, okay, think,” Twilight mumbled, tapping her head. “The six of us were infected with some strange disease – “

“And mah big brother,” Apple Bloom added. “He can’t stop talkin’ for some reason.”

“Trixie would – [bark, bark!] – pay money – [BOOM!] – to see that,” Trixie said to Starlight, both of them snickering.

“So that’s seven ponies who’ve been infected overnight,” said Twilight. “What do all of these have in common?”

Everypony sat on their flanks, crossing their hooves with thoughtful hums. After a moment of silence, it was Spike that suddenly spoke up:

“Oh! Trixie’s potions!” he said. “Everypony that got this weird disease had one of Trixie’s potions! You all had her Fizzy Fruit drinks and Apple Bloom’s brother had that ointment.”

“That would explain why neither you nor Apple Bloom got infected,” said Moon Dancer.

“Now hold on a – [*tommy gun noises*] – stinking minute!” shouted Trixie, outraged. “Trixie’s potions – [*klaxon siren*] – have always been – [*nails on a chalkboard*] – top quality! Trixie has never – [*woodpecker noise*] – caused any diseases….that Trixie – [Moooo!] – knows of.”

“Well it’s the only thing that makes sense,” Tempest pointed out.

“Think, Trixie,” Twilight pleaded. “Was there anything different you used when you made those potions.”

“No, Trixie – [Ding!] – used the same ingredients – [*Gong ringing*] – she always has,” said Trixie defensively until she tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Except…”

“Except what?” asked Twi-Star (I give up!) hopefully.

“Those Sapphire – [Achoo!] – Shade Lilies – [*Police siren*] – looked different than what Trixie – [Awoooo!] normally uses.”

“Sapphire Shade Lilies?” Moon Dancer repeated strangely. “Zecora didn’t give us any Sapphire Shade Lilies; she ran out.”

“Where did you get these flowers?” asked Tempest.

“From Apple – [*Wilhelm scream*] – Bloom,” said Trixie.

All eyes immediately fell on the filly, who waved with a nervous smile and giggle.

“Apple Bloom…,” said Moon Dancer slowly. “Where did you get those flowers from?”

“Er…from Zecora’s hut…,” said Apple Bloom.

“And did you ask Zecora what they were before you took them?” asked Twi-Star.

“Well…no…,” Apple Bloom answered.

A synchronized groaned passed through the Mane 6, many of the mares face-hoofing themselves.

“Apple Bloom, you should’ve check to make sure they were safe!” Moon Dancer chastised her. “This could’ve ended up way worse!”

“Ah’m sorry,” Apple Bloom mumbled remorsefully.

“We can punish Apple Bloom later,” said Twilight; Apple groaned disappointedly. “Trixie sold potions to over half of Ponyville yesterday. We’ve got to get to Zecroa’s and find a cure before anypony else realizes we caused this.”

“So it was you ponies after all!”

The Mane 6 and Apple Bloom winced. They slowly turned around to find themselves confronted by a mob of very angry ponies. Like them, they were showing symptoms of random, and honestly silly, diseases: flying backwards, jack-in-the-box necks, foot-long tongues, rainbow-colored coats, and nonstop sweating. Some stallions were wearing dresses…until Twilight realized they were supposed to be mares.

Mayor Mare trotted to the front of the mob, giving the Mane 6 a glare like a grandmother scolding their grandchild.

“What is the meaning of this?” Mayor Mare demanded. “We invite you into our village, allow you to join our festival – without the necessary paperwork – “

“Don’t forget they ran over my wing!” somepony in the back yelled.

“Quiet, Strawberry Sunrise!” Mayor Mare snapped. “Honestly, how could you do such horrible things to us? We thought you were heroes.”

“We didn’t do it on purpose!” Twilight pleaded. “It was an accident – “

“Wait, what’s – [*tuba noise*] – wrong with you?” asked Trixie, noting how normal Mayor Mare looked.

But the wizened pony gave them a blank stare and pulled out an umbrella over her head. The Mane 6 blinked, bewildered, when the mayor started glowing in the shade of the umbrella.

“Well, that’s different,” Moon Dancer commented.

“Miss mayor, we meant no harm for anypony,” said Twilight diplomatically since Sunset wasn’t in any position to negotiate. “This is a simple misunderstanding. Trixie accidentally used the wrong ingredients in her potions and this happened as a result. We had no idea this would happen.”

“Yeah, why would you think we’d do this to ourselves,” Twi-Star added.

The mob ponies murmured and nodded in agreement, conceded that Twi-Star had a point. Mayor Mare sighed in relief, and said, “Oh, thank Luna. I was afraid we might have to get rough with you. So, can you cure us?”

“Uh…,” Twilight mumbled hesitantly. “…we don’t know how…?”

This…was the worst thing anypony could have said. Mob mentality quickly shifted back to anger and everypony suddenly started whipping out torches and pitchforks from who knows where, shouting.

“It’s Shire – [*neighing noise*] – Lanka all over again!” screamed Trixie.

“Quick, into the forest!” Twilight cried.

Spike wrapped his arms around Twilight’s neck, Tempest grabbed Sunset (the foal immediately started crying), and Moon Dancer snatched up Apple Bloom before they took off. They ran in the direction of the Everfree Forest as fast as their hooves could carry them, trying to outrun the angry mob –





In her hut, Zecora stirred the cauldron as she added purple mushrooms to the mixture, making certain it was the right temperature. The concoction bubbled as it turned a shade of murky-brown, then emerald-green, and finally a calming baby-blue. The witch doctor took a tentative sip, sloshing it around in her mouth before spitting it back out.

“Just a sprig of mint to make it sweet, then my brew shall be complete,” said Zecora, adding the final ingredient. “With this mixture I can presume, that this will save ponies from certain doom. And when I am done speaking this rhyme – “ The zebra perked when she heard the door open and slam shut behind her. The Mane 6 plus Spike and Apple Bloom had their backs pressed to the door, breathing heavy and quick. “Ah, there you are, just in time.”

“Zecora!” Apple Bloom shouted urgently, bounding up to her. “It’s awful! Ponies are actin’ all weird! Mah brother can’t stop talkin’, Moon Dancer’s eyes are huge, and – “

Zecora held up her hoof, silencing the filly, and then said, “Before we get into that, we must clear the air. Young Apple Bloom, do you have something you wish to share?”

“Uh….” Apple stammered, rubbing her hoof nervously.

“Last morning, I sent you off well wishing,” said Zecora, “when I noticed a certain something was missing.” Apple Bloom bit her lip anxiously, but Zecora smiled and wrapped a hoof around her. “What you did was not that bad. If you tell me, I promise I won’t be mad.”

“I um…,” said Apple Bloom hesitantly. “Ah kinda-sorta…took the flowers under your desk without permission. I’m really sorry, Zecora. I was gonna tell you, honest, but we were in a hurry, and – “

“Do not worry, it is quite all right,” said Zecora kindly. “I think you’ve learned from your current plight.”

“Speaking of which,” Twi- Star spoke up. “What did Apple Bloom take that caused all this?”

“The answer is simple, you silly pony folk,” said Zecora amusingly. “You’ve all been touched by the poison joke.”

“Oooh, poison – [Riiiiing!] – joke!” Trixie shouted in realization. “That make so – [Ook, ook, eek!] – much sense!”

“Uh, anypony wanna fill me in?” Twilight asked.

“That plant is much like poison oak,” answered Zecora. “But its results are like a joke. It means this plant does not breed wrath. Instead, this plant just wants a laugh.”

“Ugh, enough with the rhyming already,” Moon Dancer groaned.

“I think I know what Zecora is saying,” said Twilight understandingly. “It’s a plant called Poison Joke, which is similar to poison oak in that it spreads on contact. But instead of making ponies itchy, it plays practical jokes on them.”

“You call this practically!” Tempest shouted, gesturing to herself while still holding the crying Sunset. “I’m a freak of nature!”

“You said it, not us,” Twi-Star said under her breath.

“Zecora, please tell me you have a way to fix us,” Twilight pleaded.

“As a matter of fact, I have just the thing,” said Zecora confidently, walking around the cauldron. “When I saw the flowers gone, I got straight to working. With some herbs I collected along the path, I mixed together an herbal bath. All you need do is take a soak, then you’ll be free of the poison joke.”

“Oh, thank Luna,” said Twilight, sighing in relief. “I was afraid we’d have to go on some wacky adventure or something.”

“Is it wrong I think this ending is a little…anticlimactic?” said Spike disappointedly.

“Yes!” The Mane 6 shouted; Trixie’s voice sounding like a party horn.

“Again, ah’m real sorry ah caused y’all so much trouble,” said Apple Bloom apologetically to everypony. “Ah promise I’ll make sure to ask before takin’ something I don’t know about from now on.”

“That should be something you know from the start,” said Moon Dancer. “Aw, I doesn’t matter, I guess. All’s well that ends well, right?”

But this reflective moment was broken when a loud thud came from Zecora’s door, nearly knocking everypony off. They could hear shouting from the other side and the Mane 6 immediately threw their whole weight against the door in a panic. Zecora and Apple Bloom cautiously moved to the window and peeked outside. The joke infected ponies of Ponyville had found their way to Zecora’s hut, shouting for the Mane 6 to come outside while waving their torches.

“…I believe I’ll need to make more bath,” said Zecora, wide-eyed, “before we incur the pony’s wrath.”

“And fast!” Apple Bloom cried.

After a lot of shouting, frantic potion mixing, and one broken door, all the citizens of Ponyville were cured of the poison joke, but the Mane 6 were banned from the Summer Harvest Festival for life.
> Swarm of the Century
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Starlight Glimmer strolled through the royal gardens of Princess Luna’s castle, levitating a basket full of flowers. She tapped her chin as she examined the myriad of colorful plants laid out before her until deciding to pluck a blue one from the garden and add it to her collection.

Now, Starlight wasn’t really one for flower picking – she was more of the type to crush flowers for potion ingredients or colorful dyes – but Twilight had assigned her this job for the upcoming celebration. And what were they celebrating? The return of Equestria’s third princess, Cadence. According to Twilight, Princess Cadence had spent a year abroad building international relationships for the kingdom. Twilight seemed especially eager for Princess Cadence’s return, mentioning something about “sunshine” and “ladybugs.”

Starlight pulled out the list of flowers that Twilight wrote down (in excruciating detail) and checked off the last box.

“Aaaand that’s flower preparations done,” said Starlight, rolling the list up. “Man, Twilight’s even more uptight than usual about this new princess. Guess she’s just really into royalty.” Starlight pulled another checklist and muttered, “Okay, flowers done. Next: ‘examine every single apple shipped in from Sweet Apple Acres for perfect crisp and juiciness….’ Seriously?”

Starlight grimaced as she looked across the garden. There were at least a hundred baskets filled with Sweet Apple Acres apples stacked meticulously into a pyramid. And if there were over fifty apples inside one basket and there was over a hundred basket…that’s not the kind of math Starlight wanted to do.

“Ugh! Why couldn’t they get the guards to do it instead,” Starlight whined. “This is going to take forever!”

Starlight reluctantly trotted over to the apple pyramid and pulled out the first apple for inspection when she heard a sudden trilling noise. The lilac mare paused, glancing sideways. She heard the trilling noise again and turned around. It sounded like it was coming from the rock pond. Starlight leaned in close when she heard the noise a third time and saw movement.

Something crawled over the rock and stared Starlight directly in the eye. It looked like a little blue ball with wide green eyes and pixie wings. The strange creature trilled again in delight, making Starlight lean back in surprise.

“Well, hello, there,” said Starlight curiously. “I’ve never seen anything like you before.” The little ball creature hovered over the apple that Starlight dropped, sniffing it. “Oh, are you hungry. Go ahead, take it. I’m sure Twilight won’t notice one apple missing – “

But the little creature seemed dissatisfied with just one apple and turned its attention to the apple pyramid. The creature licked its lips in delight and dived headlong before Starlight had a chance to stop it. The lilac unicorn’s jaw dropped in disbelief as she watched the little creature zoom around the pyramid faster than The Dash on a sugar high. In only a matter of seconds, all one hundred plus baskets were completely empty and the little creature floated back to Starlight with an unapologetic burp.

“ – but I think she’s going to notice if every apple is gone,” said Starlight dumbfoundedly. The little creature seemingly ignored her plight and nestled itself into Starlight’s mane, flashing it big green eyes. “Aw, you’re lucky your so cute. Better go tell Twilight we need a new shipment of apples…. Cross your hooves she doesn’t get a heart attack.”





Anypony could tell you that Twilight Sparkle was neurotic by nature and had an unrealistic desire for perfection. But with the news of Princess Cadence’s return, that habit seemed to have been taken up to an eleven.

She was running around her bedroom, slapping a feather duster at everything she could reach, which did little more than spread the dust around. Spike begrudgingly had to pick up all the books that had been left scattered all over Twilight’s floor, which was roughly between fifty and sixty. Despite the substantial upgrade from their old home, Twilight still managed to find a way to obtain more books than shelves and left a huge clutter everywhere.

“Oh, hurry up, Spike!” moaned Twilight, who had slapped her bedside lamp on the floor, smashing it. “This place isn't gonna clean itself!”

“It also didn't mess itself up,” grumbled Spike, retrieving a broom and dustpan for the broke lamp.

“Princess Cadence will be here tomorrow!” shouted Twilight as she scampered under her bed, pushing out a huge pile of junk.

“What’s the big deal about another princess?” asked Spike, dumping the lamp shards in the bin. “We already live in a castle with Princess Luna.”

“Cadence isn’t just any old princess, Spike!” said Twilight importantly. “I’ve known Cadence ever since she was my foal-sitter, before she became a princess! She’s practically family! I want to make a good impression with her! That’s why I want this place to be spotless, and you've barely made a dent in the clutter!”

“Well, maybe – “ Spike grunted, picking up six books at once, “you should start – ugh – reading them one at a ti – whoa! Ah!” He yelped as the book stack toppled over on her head, burying him underneath.

“Everything’s got to be perfect,” said Twilight insistently as Spike rose from the pile with an irritated look. “No time for fooling around.”

“You know,” said Spike, crawling free from the pile, “this would be an awful lot easier if there weren't two of us here getting under each other's feet.”

“Great idea, Spike!” said Twilight, shoving the feather duster in Spike’s claw. “You clean, I'll go see how everypony else's preparations are coming.”

“Wait, no, I meant – “

But the lavender mare had already slammed the door shut behind her, leaving the baby dragon dragging a claw down his face with a groan.





Twilight took a stroll down the streets of Canterlot, relived to see that everypony was taking this visit as seriously as she was. Every building had been decorated in ribbons, streamers, and banners of pinks, purples, and yellows – the signature colors of Princess Cadence. Wreaths of rainbow flowers adorned every lamppost and the sound of wind chimes carried through the gentle breeze. And every tree had been perfectly trimmed according to Twilight’s specifications (under the orders of Princess Luna, of course.)

She approached Minuette, Twinkleshine, and Lemon Hearts, who she had left to work on Cadence’s welcome banner. They were propping the sign up as Twilight walked over. It was beautifully written in detailed calligraphy by Twinkleshine and splashed with glitter no doubt contributed by Minuette and – the lavender mare did a double take when she saw the sign read: “Welcome Princess Caden”

“Uh…what happened to the rest of her name?” asked Twilight awkwardly.

“We ran out of space of space because somepony had to be fancy,” Lemon Hearts snapped irritably in Twinkleshine’s direction.

“You can’t restrain my artistic vision!” said Twinkleshine dramatically. “Besides, if it’s anypony’s fault, it’s yours for not getting a bigger banner!”

“My fault?!” said Lemon Hearts aghast.

“I made it sparkly!” Minuette added her two bits.

“I don’t care whose fault it is!” shouted Twilight. “We can’t hang a banner that says, ‘Welcome Princess Caden.’ Take it down and try again.”

With one world-ending crisis averted, Twilight galloped over to Cinnamon Chai's Tea and Cake Shop. It was the best (and as far as Twilight knew, the only) bakery in Canterlot, so it was the obvious choice to prepare the sweets for Princess Cadence’s welcome.

Twilight leisurely walked into the shop and made her way to the backroom without anypony trying the stop her (the perks of being a royal aide.) She leaned through the door and spotted the curly-maned unicorn owner of the establishment hard at work frosting the latest cake that just came out of the over, wiping her brow of sweat that came from so much hard work.

“Hello, Cinnamon Chai,” Twilight greeted as she strolled inside. “How’s the banquet coming?”

“Oh, hello, Twilight,” Cinnamon Chai sighed in exhaustion. “I would be coming along better if….”

The manager trailed off and simply pointed at the table of sweets on her left. Upon closer inspection, Twilight realized that all of the sweets had several bites taken out of them, from the black forest cherry cake to the apple fritters to the lemon meringue pie. Not a single treat was spared from this delicious massacre. And the pony responsible for this atrocity was the blue pony in the starry cape and hat that was casually taking a bite out of the velvet cupcakes in plain view.

“Mmm, exquisite,” said Trixie, throwing the cupcake back on the table. “Trixie approves.”

“Trixie!” screeched Twilight, her jaw dropped in horror. “What are you doing?! Those sweets are supposed to be for Cadence!”

“Trixie knows this,” declared Trixie, not looking remotely guilty for her actions. “That is why Trixie is tasting them. Trixie has taken it upon herself the humble duty of making certain that each delicacy is tasty enough for the royal palate.” She struck a dignified pose with her hoof over her heart. “And I, The Great and Powerful Trixie, declare that these treats are fit for a king, or a queen, or a princess!”

“She’s been doing that all morning,” Cinnamon Chai complained. “I can’t get her to leave.”

“Trixie…,” Twilight growled as the stagemare shamelessly stole a slice of strawberry cheesecake.

But before the lavender mare could dole out punishment, a flash of light exploded between the mares and Starlight Glimmer suddenly popped into existence.

“Twilight, Trixie, you won’t believe what I – “ Starlight started off excited until she recognized the tense atmosphere between them. “Uh, am I interrupting something?”

“Of course not!” Trixie declared happily, stuffing her muzzle in strawberry cheesecake before Twilight could get a word in, to the mare’s irritation. “So what is it, Starlight Glimmer?”

“Well, since Twilight’s here, might as well tell you,” said Starlight. “We’re going to need to replace some of the apples for the welcome party.”

“How many?” asked Twilight, concerned.

“Er…all of them…,” Starlight answered with a sheepish smile.

“ALL OF THEM?!?!?!” Twilight’s screech was so loud, it nearly woke Princess Celestia back at the castle. “What the hay happened?! How could you lose 1,284,095 apples in one hour?!”

“I don’t know what’s scarier,” Starlight commented. “Your anger, or the fact you memorized the total number of apples.”

“STARLIGHT!”

“Hey, hey, it’s not my fault!” Starlight shouted defensively, reaching up in her mare. “All right, come out, little…guys?”

When she shook her mane, the little blue creature floated in the air, but he wasn’t alone. A yellow ball creature and a matching brown one also buzzed around, to the mare’s confusion. Where did they come from, Starlight wondered. She would’ve known if she had been carrying tagalongs, wouldn’t she?

“Starlight, they’re amazing,” Twilight gasped in awe. “What are they?”

“I have no idea,” Starlight admitted, watching the creatures buzz around the kitchen. “I also don’t know where these other two came from.”

“I’ll take one off your hooves,” Twilight giggled, holding out a hoof for the yellow ball to land on. “I’ve never seen anything so…adorable.” She hugged the little creature with glee. “Besides, it'll be nice to have a companion for Spike so he won't bother me so much while I'm studying.”

“Trixie, you want the other one?” asked Starlight.

Trixie, who had been “sampling” the butterscotch cream, turned around curiously. Her eyes locked on the tiny flying creatures and something unbelievable happened: the blue stagemare jumped nearly five feet in the air with a cartoonish scream. Without warning, she started running circles around the kitchen like a trapped rat, kicking the desserts on the ground and sending pots, pans, and utensils flying through the air. Twilight, Starlight, and Cinnamon Chai flattened themselves on the ground to dodge the carnage. The mares were bewildered; they never expected Trixie to react so violently.

“OhmyLunaohmyLunaohmyLuna!” Trixie rambled frantically. “Parasprites! Why did it have to be parasprite?!”

“A para-what?” asked Twilight.

“Trixie, what the hay is going on with – “ Starlight started.

“No time for questions!” Trixie screeched. “Trixie needs stinky cheese!”

“Stinky cheese?” Twilight repeated, confused.

“Yes, stinky cheese, and fast!” Trixie yelled. And in her panic, Trixie ran and smashed through the kitchen wall, leaving a Trixie-shaped hole behind.

“Couldn’t she have jumped through the window instead,” Cinnamon Chai complained. “It’s a lot less expensive.”

“Well, that was weird, even by Trixie standards,” Starlight commented.

“Yeah, wonder what that was all about,” said Twilight, exchanging curious glances with the newly named Parasprite creatures.





Tempest had many regrets about moving to Canterlot: getting run over by wagons, reading books in boring libraries for hours, being forced to go on an adventure to save the world (okay, admittedly, that was cool.) But the biggest regret of her life was letting Sunset convince her to go…ugh, dress shopping.

The sunny mare had dragged Tempest to the Canterlot Carousel, which was proclaimed as the most exclusive fashion establishment in all of Canterlot (not that Tempest cared.) Sunset rolled her eyes as Sassy Saddles, the manager of the boutique, tried to pin down Tempest long enough to get her measurements. But the broken-horned mare wasn’t making it easy. She was acting like a fussy foal, trying to escape the honestly breathtaking dress that Sassy Saddles had thrown on like it was death sentence.

“Tempest, stand still,” said Sunset like a scolding mother. “She needs to do the hemline.”

“Ugh, I can’t!” Tempest whined childishly. “You know I hate dressing up in this froufrou nonsense. Why can’t I just wear my normal clothes?”

“Do you want to look nice for Princess Cadence or not?” said Sunset.

“What I want is to steal that priceless, one-of-a-kind jewel off her,” Tempest said blatantly before realizing that Sassy Saddles was giving her a dumbfounded stare. “Say anything to anypony, and I’ll snap your horn off.”

Sassy Saddles went straight back to work, keeping a tight lip. 

And who just so happens to walk into the boutique than Twilight Sparkle and her infamous checklist. She let out a low whistle as she examined all the dresses that had been lined around the shop. Her eyes soon fell on Tempest and her dress and let out a delighted gasp.

“Tempest, you look beautiful,” Twilight breathed.

“I’m not supposed to be beautiful,” Tempest mumbled embarrassingly. “I’m supposed to be tough and cool….”

“Well, I think you can be both,” said Sunset, smiling. Tempest looked away, muttering under her breath. Suddenly, everypony heard a series of trilling noises and noticed Twilight’s mane twitch. “Uh, what was that?”

“Did your mane just…chirp?” asked Tempest incredulously.

Twilight grinned in a smug fashion as she brushed her mane slightly. The parasprite that had been hiding in her hair trilled and jumped out onto Twilight’s flank…along with a second one…and a third. Twilight did a doubletake. Where the hay did those extras come from?

“Whoa, what are they?” asked Tempest curiously.

“The better question is, where did they come from?” said Twilight strangely. “I only had one a minute ago.”

“Well…if you don’t want them all, I guess I could take one off your hooves,” said Tempest, not-so-subtly swiping one of the parasprite. “Because I’m a good friend like that.”

“Yeah, that’s the reason,” Sunset teased while taking the remaining extra. “Oh my Luna, they’re so cute!”

While half of the Mane 6 were fawning of the parasprites, Trixie trotted into the boutique and approached Sassy Saddles, asking, “Do you have any used gyms socks? The riper, the better.”

“Backroom with the recyclables,” Sassy Saddle answered without batting an eye at the strange question.

“Trixie thanks you,” said Trixie.

The stagemare walked to the backroom and found the bag of gym socks she was looking for – you could literally see the stink lines flowing off it. Trixie covered her muzzle while levitating the bag in front as she walked out. Before leaving the boutique, Trixie cast a final look at her friends, who were still gushing over the parasprites. She shook her head in disappointment and slammed the door behind her.





It was a long and eventful day, but by the time Luna raised the moon, Twilight had completed everything on her checklist. The welcome sign was fixed, the catering was done (Without Trixie’s interference), the dresses were made, and best of all, Twilight’s room was sparkly clean. And by that, I mean it was literally sparkling. She really should ask Spike what kind of cleaner he used sometime.

“The decorations, the banquet, getting Tempest in a dress – check, check, and check,” muttered Twilight. “I really hope everything turns out okay tomorrow.”

Twilight looked over at Spike and her new parasprite pet who were nestled in Spike’s basket. Watching the two snore peacefully was oddly soothing – and contagious. Twilight yawned widely and rubbed her eyes.

“Oh, I’m sure everything will be all right,” said Twilight sleepily as she slid into bed. “What could possibly go wrong…?”

…Why would you say that, Twilight? Why?”





Princess Luna raised the sun to harken the beginning of a new day, as Twilight irritably learned when the suns rays beamed on her through the window. The lavender unicorn turned over in her bed, pressing her pillow over her face to block out the sunlight. She worked too late last night to deal with an early morning. Unfortunately, the pillow could not block out the dozens of snores – 

Wait, dozens?

Twilight threw the pillow off and quickly sat up with bloodshot eyes. Her room echoed with a cacophony of several tiny snores, all coming from the huge mass of Parasprites that now covered her bedroom. They were literally everywhere: her bed, her desk, her bookshelves, her vanity, the chandelier – everywhere! There was a baker’s dozen nesting in Spike’s basket, and even a pair sleeping on his face.

“SPIKE!” Twilight screamed, tumbling gracelessly out of bed. “Spike, wake up! What happened?!”

The baby dragon groaned as he sat up, never happy when Twilight woke him so early in the morning to go over her schedule. He tried opening his eyes when realized there was something clinging to his face. Spike yelped and ripped the Parasprites off, blinking and looking around in bewilderment.

“What the?” he mumbled. “What’s going on?”

The constant shouting woke the rest of the Parasprites and they all started buzzing around the room, barely leaving any room for the pony and dragon to breath.

“Where did they come from?!” shrieked Twilight.

“I don’t know,” said Spike uncertainly. “The little guy got hungry in the night, so I gave him a snack, but... I have no idea where these others came from.” There was a huge crash and the pair looked over to see the Parasprites knock over all of Twilight’s books. “Oh no! They're messing up all my hard work!”

They didn’t stop at the bookshelf either. The Parasprites were buzzing all around the room, grabbing everything they could find and tossing it around into a gigantic mess that put Twilight’s normal messes to shame.

“Cadence will be here in a few hours!” shouted Twilight. Panicking, she picked up the feather duster and started sweeping the pests away from the shelves. “Spike, help me round up these little guys!”

As she said this, the baby dragon had already gathered a huge number of the Parasprites and stuffed them into his basket. He had gathered so many that they formed an unstable tower of pests.

“What does it – ugh – look like I’m doing?!” Spike groaned. But the leaning tower of pests became too unstable to handle and collapsed over Spike, burying him. Twilight brushed him free with her feather duster, giving him a look. “I know, I know, ‘stop fooling around.’”

“Wait a second…,” Twilight suddenly paused, staring off into space. “If all these Patrasprites showed up in our room…then what about the others?”





Tempest snoozed peacefully in her bed while Grubber snored away on the rug (you’d think he'd deserve his own bed at least.) Neither of them were early risers and it’s not like they had real jobs they had to get to, so they could sleep in as long as they wanted.

Tempest turned in her bed when she heard the chirp of her new Parasprite pet. The broken-horned mare cracked her open and smiled softly at the Parasprite leaning over the edge of her bed…and the one on her pillow…and the three sitting on her headboard…and the six sitting on her blanket…and the twenty piling on Grubber.

“What the?” Tempest sputtered, shooting up. “What the hay?”

The Parasprites tried glomming onto her, but Tempest shook them off and tried making a run for the door. Her path was swiftly cut off by a wall of over fifty Parasprites. They piled on Tempest again and the violet unicorn shook them off furiously.

“Hey – what are – get off of me!” she screamed.

But the more she struggled, the more Parasprites joined in the pile up. In a matter of moments, Tempest was drowning in over a hundred Parasprite, her cries for help muffled underneath all the pests. Meanwhile, Grubber continued to snooze even as the Parasprite carried his prone form around the air.





Opposed to Twilight and Tempest, Sunset Shimmer found the creatures quite fascinating. It was certainly a shock to find that her little Parasprite pet had multiplied a hundred times overnight, but she was more curious than afraid. She purposely ignored the rampant destruction of her bedroom as she examined one of the Parasprites under a magnifying glass, telepathically writing down her finding.

“Observation note #17: so far, the genetic make-up of subject ‘Parasprite’ remains unclear,” said Sunset, and her feathered quill wrote it down. “At first glance, it appears insectoid by nature, but the texture of its body implies a botanical origin. I have yet to discern how and why the subject has increased in numbers – “

All of sudden, the Parasprite she was examining began making choking noises.

“Hold on, subject appears to be suffering from a violent reaction,” said Sunset, leaning closer. “Must approach with – “ The sunny mare yelped when the Parasprite vomited in her eye, nearly making Sunset throw up as well. With a groan, she pried the gunk off, which rolled into a ball in her hoof. “Okay, that’s beyond disgusting.”

To Sunset’s amazement and revulsion, the ball of vomit puffed up and transformed into another Parasprite. The sunny mare had to close her mouth with her hoof to stop herself from hurling violently. But she lost the battle when she watched several more Parasprites regurgitate and multiply all over her room, leaving a puddle of sick on the floor.

“Okay…experiment over…,” Sunset wheezed. “These things need to go…now.”

Sunset used all the strength in her horn to pluck the Parasprites out of the air and tossed them into her saddlebags, stuffing them to the breaking point. She levitated the saddlebag in front, keeping a firm distance from the disgusting pests, and telepathically opened her bedroom door.

She had just stepped out into the hallway when Trixie walked down the corridor, carrying a burlap sack over her shoulder. Sunset had to use both hooves to plug her muzzle from the foal stench coming from the bag.

“Look, Sunset Shimmer!” Trixie gestured to the bag excitedly. “The kitchen staff gave Trixie their entire supply of rotten eggs. There’s at least five pounds in here. Can you believe they were just going to throw these away?” She noticed the Parasprites trying to escape Sunset’s bags, which the sunny mare had to push down. “And not a moment too soon.”

“Trixie…I’m a little busy…right now,” Sunset grunted, trying to maintain her magic.

“And Trixie’s not?” said Trixie. “Do you know how many more smelly things Trixie has to find? A lot! That’s how many.” She threw her hoof over Sunset’s shoulder in a conspirator fashion. “Now if we split the list between us, we might just make it in time.”

“Please, Trixie, I don’t have time for some ridiculous scavenger hunt,” Sunset grimaced, pushing the stagemare off. “I’ve got a real problem.”

“You’ve got a real problem, all right!” Trixie shouted, running off with her stinky goods. “And a skunk is the only answer!”

Sunset rolled her eyes exasperatedly and carried the saddlebags full of pest down the hall. She was walking past Twilight’s bedroom when the door swung open and the lavender mare dashed outside, slamming the door behind her. Twilight looked like she had been through a warzone with her disheveled mane and her coat covered in who knows what. Someone was knocking at the door, no doubt Spike begging to be let out, but Twilight kept it firmly shut.

“I see we’re both having the same problem,” Sunset commented.

“That makes three of us,” Tempest approached them with a beard of Parasprite and the vacant stare of someone who lost the will to live.

“Starlight’s the pony that found them,” said Twilight. “Maybe she knows how to stop them from multiply.”

It was at that exactly moment when Starlight Glimmer teleported in the middle of the three looking jittery and bug-eyed like she had been through a hellish nightmare (which wasn’t too far off the mark.)

“I don’t know how to stop them from multiplying!” she screeched.

Tempest took survey of the area and asked, “Were you just waiting for somepony to saying something or…”

“What do you mean you don’t know how to stop them from multiplying!” Twilight cried, grabbing Starlight by the shoulders and shaking her violently.

“I tried everything I could think of!” said Starlight. “I tried burying them, burning them, shredding them, poisoning them, bucking them, electrocuting them, and melting them! I even tried dumping them in the past, but that created a horrible future where fleshy, two-legging creepers watch moving pictures about ponies. So I went back in time to stop myself from going back in time.”

“Why does that sound familiar for some reason?” Sunset wondered.

“Oh no, this is way, way bad,” Twilight moaned, dragging her hooves down her face. “If we can’t get them under control before Cadence arrives, it’ll be a total disaster.”

“What do you think this is now?” Tempest questioned, gesturing to her beard of Parasprites as one of them vomited up another pest. “…That’s going to mentally scar me for life.”

Moon Dancer inexplicitly just happened to be at the castle around that time, appearing around the corner levitating a clipboard as she walked up to the group.

“Hey, Twilight, there’s a bunch of ponies out front with a shipment of apples,” said Moon Dancer. “I know you’re the royal planner and all, but is there a reason you need a specific number of – “ She looked up from the clipboard and paused. She looked between Tempest’s beard of pests, Sunset’s stuffed saddlebags, and Twilight holding her bedroom door closed for dear life. “…Did Trixie do something again?”

“No, this is all Starlight’s fault,” said Sunset bluntly.

“HEY!”

“Moon Dancer, we need help!” Twilight cried, reaching her hooves for the mare to shake her, but Moon Dancer wisely kept her at length with her horn. “These Paraspites are everywhere and we don’t know how to get rid of them! Please, help us!”

“Aren’t you supposed to be the planner?” questioned Moon Dancer with a quirked brow.

“I’m too stressed to plan!” shrieked Twilight, ripping our several strands of her mane.

“Okay, okay, chill out,” said Moon Dancer, taken aback by the severity of Twilight’s stress. “Look, it’s simple. As far as we know, all of those uh…”

“Parasprites,” Sunset offered.

“Thank you,” said Moon Dancer. “Those Parasprites are all in the castle – “

“And the ones that are flooding my apartment,” Starlight added. “My landlord is gonna have a conniption when he sees them.”

“Well, everypony seems to be forgetting that we’re unicorns with magic,” said Moon Dancer, gesturing to her horn. “We’ll just gather all the Parasprites in one place and just teleport them away.”

“…You know, when she says it out loud, it does seem like the obvious solution,” Tempest remarked.

“Starlight, you head back to your apartment, gather up all the Parasprites, and bring them back here,” Moon Dancer instructed. Moon Dancer saluted and teleported away. “Twilight, Sunset, Tempest, open your doors and let those pests out into the hallway. We’ll use our magic to bundle them up and get them out of here. All right, everypony, move, move, move!”

Twilight, Sunset, and Tempest saluted like a well-trained squadron and dashed to their bedroom doors (Moon Dancer telepathically removed Tempest’s beard, which the mare was grateful for.) The trio grabbed the doorknobs and silently counted to three in perfect synch before throwing the doors open.

The Parasprites surged into the corridor like a raging river, their numbers seemingly increased by twenty times while they were planning. Twilight grappled the doorknob to keep herself from being swept away in the flood, gritting her teeth as the Parasprites came down on her with the force of a hurricane. The flood thankfully subsided in a few seconds with every Parasprite out of the rooms and into the hallway. Spike flopped to the ground with relief in Twilight’s bedroom and Grubber was still pleasantly napping in Tempest’s.

The swarm raged down the hall toward Moon Dancer, but the bespectacled unicorn was ready. Her horn lit up with magic as a transparent barrier formed from the floor to the ceiling, effectively cutting the pests off. When they started to head back, Twilight and Sunset erected their own barrier, trapping the Parasprites between them. The three unicorns pushed their barriers closer to each other, curling the transparent walls until they merged and molded into a sphere. The Parasprites buzzed erratically inside their new prison, but Moon Dancer, Twilight, and Sunset did not waver. Tempest smirked cockily and tapped the barrier to annoy them.

“Look at that: the world’s most annoying snow globe,” said Tempest tauntingly.

“Please don’t agitate them,” Sunset pleaded. “Keeping this many pests in one place is difficult as it is.”

“Now we need Starlight’s batch,” said Moon Dancer.

Right as she said that, Starlight teleported into the hallway, levitating her own ball of Parasprites.

“I got ‘em all!” Starlight exclaimed, merging her collection with the rest. “We need to get this done fast. My landlord said some of my neighbors complained about the noise and he’s coming to inspect my apartment.”

“All right, mares, that should be all of them, right?” said Moon Dancer. Tempest did a quick check of the rooms and gave them the all-clear sign. “Let’s get these pesky whatever they are out of here. Teleportation spells on three.” The magical aura around everypony’s horns intensified and pointed at the Parasprite collection. “One…two…”

“Moon Dancer!”

Trixie suddenly popped up next to the bespectacled unicorn, making the mare jump with a frightened shout. With Moon Dancer’s concentration broken, the bubble rippled and nearly broke, but Starlight quickly jumped in to replace Moon Dancer’s missing portion. The bespectacled unicorn wiped the nonexistent sweat from her brow  in relief, then shot a glare at Trixie.

“Trixie, what’re you doing?” Moon Dancer scolded her. “You nearly ruined all our hard work.”

“Moon Dancer, we must act quickly, there’s not much time!” Trixie shouted urgently.

“You’re telling me,” said Twilight, groaning from the intense magic she was forced to hold. “Cadence could arrive at any minute.”

“Exactly,” said Trixie. “That’s why I need you ponies to drop what you’re doing and help Trixie locate some rafflesia.”

“Rafflesia?” asked Tempest. “What in the hay is rafflesia?”

“Only the stinkiest flower in the entire world,” said Trixie like it was obvious. “The smell is so putrid that it can knock a pony flat on their back with one whiff.”

“Are you kidding me?” said Twilight exasperatedly. “Trixie, we’ve got more important things to do than help you look for a smelly flower.”

“You’re right, Twilight Sparkle!” Trixie exclaimed like she just had an epiphany. “Finding durain should be our number one goal. Stinky fruits are much more difficult to find than stinky flowers. Follow Trixie!” The blue stagemare dashed down the hall and around the corner, but nopony pursued her. When she realized she was alone, Trixie walked back giving everypony a flat stare. “Trixie said follow Trixie!”

“Trixie, why are you so clueless?” said Tempest exasperatedly.

“Trixie is not clueless!” Trixie shouted defensively. “You ponies are just too stubborn!”

With that, Trixie turned her nose up, whipped her tail, and walked away.

“Just forget her,” said Moon Dancer, rolling her eyes. “Everypony, teleportation spells on one…two…three!”

Every unicorn (minus Tempest) blasted the Parasprite swarm with their horn, creating an intense spark of mixed energy before the pests vanished in a flash of multicolored light. Twilight and Sunset cheered and high-hoofed each other, Starlight wiped her brow in relief, Moon Dancer grinned proudly at herself, and Tempest let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

“We did it!” praised Twilight. “Nice work, Moon Dancer.”

“All it took was a level head and some unicorn magic,” said Moon Dancer humbly.

“And it was almost ruined thanks to Trixie and her randomness,” said Tempest shortly.

“Yeah, about that,” hummed Starlight. “What do you think’s been going on with her? I know she’s not exactly the smartest pony of the group, but she’s been acting a lot more random than normal ever since those Parasprites showed up.”

“Forget about Trixie,” Twilight brushed her concern off. “Princess Cadence is due to arrive any second. Spike and Grubber’ll clean up our rooms, but we need to be ready to meet Cadence when she gets here. Come on.”

Starlight wasn’t pleased by how casually Twilight blew off Trixie, but Moon Dancer, Tempest, and Sunset were already following the lavender mare without a hint of concern. She looked back at the corner where Trixie had disappeared to uncertainly, then shook her head and chased after the others.





“Okay, everypony knows what to do, right?” Twilight asked the mares as they trotted toward downtown Canterlot. “When Princess Cadence arrives, I want everypony in position. The confetti cannons ponies, the balloonists, the band – everything!”

“Relax, Twilight,” said Sunset, rolling her eyes. “You’ve been grilling everypony for weeks about this. I guarantee you by the time Cadence shows up, everypony will be ready to throw for the biggest welcome party of the century.”

But when they turned the corner down the street toward the town entrance, everypony stopped in their tracks, staring with bulging eyes at the sight that greeted them.

The entire street was pure chaos; dozens of ponies running and scream as they were chased by the swarms of Parasprites. There must have been thousands – tens of thousands. The adorably pesky critters were breaking through windows, tossing everything they could grab on the streets and smashing them on the pavement. Food stalls and café tables were ravished within seconds without leaving a single crumb. The Parasprite were even picking up ponies and hanging them from lampposts with mischievous giggles.

“…But don’t quote me on that,” said Sunset.

“I don’t understand!” said Twilight. “Where did they come from?! I thought we gathered them all up!”

“Ooh,” Starlight winced. Everypony refocused their attention on her; Starlight laughed sheepishly. “Uh, yeah…the thing is…after you left Cinnamon Chai’s shop, I found another Parasprite and she asked if she could keep it.”

“STARLIGHT!” the mares yelled in unison.

“Hey, in my defense, that was before I knew they were menaces!” Starlight snapped.

“We don't have time to keep rounding up these things,” Twilight moaned. “What do we do now?”

“Don’t worry,” said Moon Dancer reassuringly. “I’m sure once Princess Luna notices the chaos, she’ll swoop in to save the day.”





Speaking of whom, the ruler of Equestria was presently walking out onto the balcony of her tower, levitating a fresh brew of morning coffee with a delighted sigh.

“Ahh, nothing like a good up of joe and a view of my peaceful kingdom to start the morning right,” said Luna calmly.

But when she leaned over the railing to gaze down at her kingdom, she saw only total calamity. Ponies running in fear, colorful Parasprites flooding the streets, buildings on fire, houses broken and looted, and unless she was mistaken, she just saw the Canterlot library explode.

“…Nnope,” said Luna tonelessly and walked back inside.





“…or not,” Moon Dancer hanged her head in defeat.

“Okay, Princess Cadence is going to show up any minute now and Princess Luna is no help,” muttered Twilight.

“Come to think of it, has she ever actually done anything?” asked Tempest, earning a heated glare from Sunset. “What? It’s a legitimate question. We’re usually the ones who have to swoop in and save the day.”

“Okay, genius!” Twilight snapped irritably. “Then please explain to the rest of us how we’re suppose to get rid of these…things before Princess Cadence gets here!”

“With fish!” Trixie shouted, suddenly shoving her way in the middle of the group. The others ponies groaned and covered their nostrils when they noticed Trixie carrying a large tuna that smelled like it had been left in the sun for several days. Twilight nearly retched when Trixie took a big whiff of it. “Ah, repugnant.”

“Trixie, what are you doing now?” Twilight growled irritably.

“Trying to find smelly fish that hasn’t been eaten by those Parasprite,” Trixie stated, holding the stinky sea creature to Twilight’s face. “We need to work fast and collect as many – “

“Will you just forget your ridiculous games for one second, Trixie?!” Twilight shouted, slapping the fish to the ground. “We’re trying to save Canterlot from disaster and you’ve just been goofing off all morning!”

“Trixie hasn’t been goofing off!” Trixie retorted angrily. “Unlike somepony who doesn’t listen, Trixie has been hard at work trying to solve this problem!”

“With used gym socks and rotting fish?!” Twiligth yelled.

“Exactly!”

“Ugh, for the love of…. You know what, forget it,” Twilight frowned and shook her head dismissively. “If you’re not going to be useful, then just stay out of our way. Come on, everypony, we have a town to save.”

Twilight, Sunset, Moon Dancer, and Tempest galloped past Trixie, not sparing the stagemare a second glance. Trixie hanged her head, her eyes narrowed in both anger and sadness.

“Trixie is useful…,” Trixie mumbled pitifully. “Trixie wishes somepony would listen to her….”

“I’ll listen.”

Trixie perked up in surprise and turned around. Starlight telepathically picked up the discarded fish and offered it to the blue stagemare with a sincere smile. Trixie gave Starlight a look of gratitude as she reclaimed the fish and stuffed it underneath her cape.

“So, what’s the plan?” asked Starlight.

“That depends,” said Trixie cryptically. “Does Starlight Glimmer know where to find ten pounds of used kitty litter?”





While those two were off doing who knows what, the rest of the Mane 6 split up in an effort to quell as much of the chaos as possible.

Sunset materialized a magical flyswatter and was relentlessly chasing the Parasprites up and down the streets when she heard a loud crash come from the Canterlot Carousel boutique. The sunny mare kicked the door open dramatically (though unnecessarily) and dashed inside. She found the hilarious sight of Sassy Saddles standing on a stool, bouncing on her hooves as the Parasprites swarmed around her like a pack of sharks.

“No, shoo, shoo! Go away!” cried Sassy Saddles. “Get out of here! Naughty! Naughty!”

“Don’t worry, ma’am, I’ll save you!” announced Sunset.

“Who cares about me?!” Sassy Saddles yelled, taking Sunset by surprise. “Save my outfits!”

She pointed to the pony mannequins wearing the wardrobe that Sassy Saddles had made yesterday, including Tempest’s dress. Sunset gasped as the Parasprites ravished the dresses, tearing the fabric with mirth. Sunset couldn’t stand by and let this happen – dress-wearing Tempest was too adorable!

Sunset charged over and swatted the pest once…twice…but when she swung her flyswatter a third time, three Parasprites caught it in their mouths. They turned it back on Sunset and swatted her on the flank. The sunny mare yelped and ran away, but the Parasprites chased her down, ruthlessly spanking her around of the store.

Meanwhile, Tempest was galloping up and down the street, shooting her horn lightning in almost every direction at once. She caught a bundle of pests ravaging her favorite carrot dog stand and jumped through the swarm, causing them to momentarily disperse before shooting lightning at them. Unfortunately, the creatures were so small and nimble that her attacks were only hitting air. The Parasprites slowly closed in on the broken-horned mare like a pack of zombies.

“Back!” Tempest growled, fruitlessly shooting her lightning. “I said, back! Stay away from me, you darn dirty pests!”

But the Parasprite swooped in and nabbed the violet mare, lifting her off the ground with the greatest of ease. They carried Tempest across the street and dropped her head first into a water barrel with hind legs sticking out in a comedic fashion. Unfortunately, Tempest had her horn charged when she fell in and ended up electrocuting herself. The broken-horned mare moaned in both pain and disappointment.

Moon Dancer had created another transparent bubble and was galloping through the streets, trying to scoop as many of the Parasprites as she could. But for every two Parasprites she managed to catch, three more would slip out and start multiplying again. It was like trying to catch smoke with her bare hooves. Moon Dancer wished she could just teleport the Parasprites she already caught and moved on to the next batch, but her magic wasn’t on the same level as Twilight, Sunset, and Starlight.

“Oh, this isn’t working!” Moon Dancer complained as another four pests slipped out of her bubble. “There’s just too many of them. At this rate, we’re going to have to evacuate Canterlot.”

Tempest, who was still wearing the barrel on her head, walked over and said, “You know, I always thought that Canterlot would fall to some evil, storm-based dictator…hypothetically. Never imagined the Equestian capital would be destroyed by bugs.”

Sunset Shimmer flew out of the Canterlot Carousel, nursing her sore flank, and asked, “Hey, has anyone seen Twilight?”

“Oh, hello, Princess Cadence, it’s so great to see you!” The trio turned their attention to Twilight, who was down the road…talking to barrel and a sack of flour with a disturbed look in her eyes. “Did you do something with your mane? It looks fabulous! …Oh, thank you! That’s so kind of you to notice. Everything’s going fine. Perfectly fine!” she ended with an insane laugh.

“Whelp, she’s cracked,” Sunset commented.

“I always knew this would happen,” said Moon Dancer, “I just thought it would be more gradual.”

“Well, I think it’s safe to say that Canterlot is official doomed,” said Tempest. “Unless somepony can whip up a miracle – “

The mare suddenly cut herself off when an incredibly foal odder filled her nostrils, making Tempest’s stomach churn violently. Sunset and Moon Dancer smelled it as well and slapped their hooves over their muzzles to stop themselves from retching. It wasn’t just them; everypony in Canterlot was groaned in disgust and grabbing anything they could find to block out the stench from wrapping rags around their faces to stuffing their heads in boxes. The smell was so horrific that it made Twilight sane again.

“Oh, sweet Luna, that’s foal!” Twilight cried, slapping her muzzle shut. “Where is that terrible smell coming…from?”

In her moment of clarity, Twilight realized that the chaos suddenly…stopped. The Parasprite were just hovering in the air with dreamy looks in their eyes like they were under a trance. One by one, the Parasprites dropped what they were doing and floated in the direction of the putrid stench. The members of the Mane 6 exchanged mystified glances before following, consumed by curiosity.

They chased the Parasprites to the border of Canterlot when they found what had stolen the Parasprite’s attention. Trixie and Starlight were wearing gas masks that made them breathe like an iconic sci-fi villain standing beside what could only be described as a disgusting mass of pure stink. The horrid mound was made up of everything that Trixie had been gathered up: stinky cheese, used gym socks, rotten eggs, decaying fish, smelly fruits and flowers, and the like. The stench it was giving off was so horrendous, it instantly killed all nearby flowers and trees.

The stink mass was on a sled, which was being pulled by six members of the Wonderbolts, including Spitfire, all of whom were wearing gas masks. Starlight was magically fanning the smell into Canterlot, which seemed to attract the Parasprite rather than revolt them. When the swarm had gotten close, Trixie turned to the Wonderbolts and shouted:

“That’s all of them! Move out!”

“Aye, aye!” Spitfire replied with a salute.

The Wonderbolts took off into the air carrying the stink mass behind them. When they saw their precious smelly mound getting away, the Parasprites immediately gave chase. In mere moments, both the smell and the pests disappeared over the Canterlot Mountain. Trixie and Starlight removed their masks with sighs of relief and hoofbumped each other.

“You’re plan worked!” Starlight cheered.

“Was there any doubt?” said Trixie smugly.

The rest of the Mane 6 approached them, dumbfounded, and Twilight asked, “Where are they going?”

“To the Everfree Forest,” answered Starlight. “They won’t be able to harm anypony there.”

“But…how did you do that?” said Moon Dancer. “How did you know how to get rid of them?”

“Parasprites are annoyingly bothersome pests that multiply at an alarming rate,” Trixie explained in a sophisticated manner. “But they are attracted to three things: polka music, strong smells, and Spruce Lee movies. There was a similar infestation when Trixie once interned at a rock farm. One of Trixie’s co-workers showed her how to get rid of them.”

“So you knew what those things were from the beginning?” asked Sunset.

“Of course Trixie knew!” Trixie snapped, leering at the other disapprovingly. “Why do you think Trixie was so frantic to get her hooves on all those smelly things? Trixie tried to tell you.” She threw her hoof over Starlight’s shoulder proudly. “Thank Luna Trixie had one friend that was willing to listen.”

“I just thought you deserved a fair chance,” said Starlight, smiling. “Even if it did sound a little crazy.”

“She’s right,” said Twilight apologetically. “We should’ve listened to you, Trixie. You’re a great friend, even if we don’t always understand you.”

“Especially when we don’t understand you,” said Tempest teasingly. “Still, we’re sorry, Trixie.”

Everypony else apologized as well, making Trixie beam with pride.

“Well, all’s well that ends well, Trixie always says,” said Trixie.

“You’ve never said that,” Starlight pointed out.

“Well, we’re not done yet,” said Twilight, swiftly adopting a serious pose. “Princess Cadence will be arriving soon. If everypony works together, we might be able to make Canterlot presentable by the time she arrives.”

“Oh, right, Trixie almost forgot,” Trixie suddenly perked up. She levitated her hat and pulled out a folded envelope from underneath, passing it to Twilight. “A cross-eyed mail pony gave this to Trixie yesterday by mistake. It’s a letter from Princess Cadence. She says she got called for a diplomatic mission in Trotkyo, so she won’t be back in Equestria for a few more months.” Trixie giggled. “So when you think about it, we did all that work getting ready for nothing. Isn’t that hilarious?!”

If you listen very closely, you can hear that last bits of Twilight’s psyche shatter.





Princess Luna walked into Celestia’s room for her daily visit, carrying a tray with two cups and a pot of piping-hot tea. She knew there was nopony else to share tea with since her sister was fast asleep, but it made her feel better thinking that Celestia might wake up one day and they could enjoy a cup like they did in foalhood.

Luna didn’t check on her sister, resigning to the idea that Celestia would not wake up for a long time, and crossed the room toward the curtained windows. 

“You would not believe what happened today,” Luna said to Celestia amusingly, not expecting a reply. “Canterlot was nearly destroyed by a swarm of tiny pests. Isn’t that funny? This city has endured centuries of war, plague, and famine, but we were nearly driven off by adorable little creatures. Oh, but don’t worry, Sunset Shimmer and her friends took care of the problem.”

She used her horn to pull the curtains open, letting the sunlight into the room. Luna heaved a great sigh.

“You always loved the morning’s first light,” she said somberly. “I wish you would wake up to – “

“Luna…?” a raspy voice called.

The ruler of Equestia gasped and spun around on her hooves, dropping the tea set on the ground with a mighty crash! But Luna didn’t care about the broken tea pot; she was too busy staring at the majestic white alicorn slowly rising from the bed, blinking slowly, and staring blearily back at her midnight counterpart.

Princess Celestia was awake.
> Celestial Return
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the Parasprite invasion yesterday and the subsequent repairs to Canterlot (and Twilight’s mental health), everypony thought there would be no more surprises for a while. But when the Mane 6 returned to Princess Luna’s castle that day and heard a mighty crash coming from the tower, they charged inside to the biggest shock of all:

Princess Celestia had awakened. After two months of seemingly unending sleep, the princess of the sun was back. So when Princess Luna raised the sun the next morning (she promised to let Celestia move it tomorrow), she had invited everypony to breakfast to celebrate.

Princess Celestia, still rubbing the sleep from her eyes, sat on one end of the long, polished table across from her younger sister, who was smiling like a foal on Hearth’s Warming Day. On her left was the Mane 6, a group of ponies she recognized from her time as Daybreaker. And seated on her right was Luna’s personal – and strange - assortment of friends including Bon Bon, Blossomforth, Octavia and Vinyl Scratch, and the ever-rebellious Spitfire, who propped her back hooves on the table regardless of the princess’s protest.

Celestia felt like she had a huge spotlight on her given the way that everypony was staring at her. Some looked fascinated like Twilight and Blossomforth. Some were untrusting like Tempest and Bon Bon. Some sat quietly in prim and proper form like Sunset and Octavia. And some just outright didn’t care what was going on like Trixie and the headphone-wearing Vinyl. Luna certainly a few interesting friends while she was away, Celestia thought wearily.

“Everypony, don’t be rude,” said Luna, seeming to pick up on her sister’s distress. “I invited you all here to celebrate my sister’s awakening, but please don’t openly gawk at her. It’s making her uncomfortable.”

“Oh, sorry, Princess Celestia,” Twilight apologized with the others. “I didn’t realize I was staring.”

“Don’t see how,” Spitfire commented. “You haven’t blinked for almost five minutes.”

“So that’s why my eyes are stinging,” said Twilight in realization.

“You’ll have to excuse us, Princess Celestia,” said Octavia politely while shooting a disapproving grimace at her head bopping wife. “But you have to understand. The last time we saw you was…well….”

“When I went mad with power and tried to burn all of Equestria to the ground?” Celestia offered playfully. The joke seemed to fly over everypony’s head as the room fell into an awkward silence. “Er…what I mean to say is, I wanted to apologize for what I did as Daybreaker. I know I wasn’t in the right state of mind, but that’s no excuse for what I put everypony through. Especially you,” she added to the Mane 6.

“Well, in a way, we kinda owe you one,” Starlight stated brightly. “It’s because of you any of us became friends in the first place.”

“She’s actually right when you think about it,” said Sunset. “If you hadn’t shown up, Princess Luna wouldn’t have knocked me into Trixie, and Trixie would never have lost control of her wagon, and then none of us would’ve ever met.”

“I could’ve done without the wagon part,” Tempest commented.

“And all those trials you put us through helped us find our Elements of Harmony and become closer friends,” Moon Dancer added helpfully.

“And if they had never become friends, I would never have hired Twilight on as my aide,” said Luna, smiling. Twilight seemed almost hurt at the remark, but Luna carried on. “Then Twilight wouldn’t have scheduled my day off and I never would’ve made such good friends,” she added, gesturing to Bon Bon and the others.

“So in hindsight, the only reason we’re all sitting here is because of you, Princess Celestia,” Octavia commented kindly. Vinyl grinned and gave the sunny princess a hoofs-up…or whatever counted for a pony version of a thumbs-up

Celestia smiled softly and said, “It’s nice to know something good came out of my madness.”

“Everypony here has forgiven you for your past misdeeds,” said Luna, looking around the table. All the ponies nodded and waved with friendly gestures, except for Tempest, who had to be nudged into compliance by Sunset. “And we are grateful to have you back, sister.”

“It’s good to be back, sister,” said Celestia gratefully.

The double doors to the kitchens then flew open and an earth pony stallion in a chef’s hat trooped in with a procession of maids and butlers, delivering trays of delicious-looking food on the table. Only Luna, Sunset, and Tempest kept their composure; most of them had never seen so many delicious foods, let alone afford it; Trixie was literally drooling a waterfall.

“Breakfast, she iz served,” said the chef in a thick accent, bowing graciously to Luna.

“Thank you, Chase,” said Luna gratefully as the stallion backed into the kitchens. “Well, shall we partake?”

Everypony else didn’t need to be told twice, practically diving for anything and everything like a pack frenzied shark that caught a scent of blood in the water. But while others used their horns or utensils to grab what they want, Vinyl just grabbed the nearest stack of flapjacks with her hooves, ignoring the copious of amount of butter and syrup. She raised them over her open mouth like she was amount to swallow the stack whole when Octavia slapped her hoof, shaking her head disapprovingly.

“Vinyl, don’t act so uncouth!” Octavia scolded; Vinyl groaned in annoyance. “We are in the presence of royalty. You could stand to show a little decorum – “

Her potentially long-winded rant was cut off by a strange noise; it sounded like a wild animal feeding. Everypony craned their heads to the end of the time to find that the 'wild animal’ was Princess Celestia. The ruler of the sun was eating everything in front of her face first, not even using the horn or the cutlery. There was sense of fascinated wonder shared between the audience as they watch Celestia chew through entire stacks of pancakes in a handful of bites and suck up all the juice like a vacuum. She was halfway through her third stack when Celestia paused, realizing that everypony was staring at her.

The princess of the sun stood up straight, used a napkin to clean herself, and cleared her throat.

“I um…I haven’t eaten solid food in a millennium,” she announced awkwardly.

Vinyl just gave her another hoof’s-up and shoved a mouthful of flapjacks in her face, much to her wife’s dismay.

“Soooo…,” said Luna, trying to redirect the flow of conversation. “Any plans for what you’re going to do now that you’re awake, sister?”

“Well, obviously I plan to return to my obligations of maintaining the sun,” said Celestia, now using her horn to move the cutlery like a proper princess. “Don’t worry, I have no plans about burning Equestria to the ground…again. But before that, I was hoping of…exploring a little bit.”

“Exploring?” Blossomforth repeated curiously.

“Technically, I only visited the castle and the Everfree Forest when I was Daybreaker,” said Celestia. “And I only ever saw Equestria from a distance while I was trapped in the sun. But now that I am free and somewhat healthy, I want to experience these places for myself. See what this world has to offer me.”

“Well, if that’s the case, I know the perfect place you can start,” Sunset offered kindly.





Sunset Shimmer hummed merrily as she and Celestia trotted through downtown Canterlot, making their way to Cinnamon Chai's Tea and Cake Shop, her personal sanctuary. What better way to reintroduce the princess to Equestria than with a sweet tooth?

As the princess’s personal pupil, Sunset was used to being stared at on the street. Sometimes, ponies would even come up to her and ask her what it’s like working with Luna or living in the palace. Those stares would only be doubled with Celestia, an actual alicorn princess, cantering alongside her. She half expected to be mobbed by fawning ponies by now. But everypony seemed to be keeping their distance for some reason. Even ponies on the same road as them quickly shuffled to the opposite side.

That’s weird, Sunset thought. Maybe they were afraid of offending Celestia. Ponies always act strange around royalty.

“You’re gonna love Cinnamon Chai,” said Sunset enthusiastically. “She makes the best cakes in all of Canterlot.”

“Are they anything like those pan-cakes?” Celestia asked hopefully.

“Er, no, not really,” said Sunset, chuckling. “But they’re just as good, maybe even better than pancakes. You’ll have to see for yourself.”

They found Cinnamon Chai’s Tea and Cake Shop at the usual corner, which had had been buzzing with excited, chattering ponies until they walked inside. Sunset blinked surprisingly and looked around. Everypony was staring at them, some frozen in place with cake halfway to their mouth or still pouring tea until it overflowed.

“Is…everypony always like this?” Celestia asked cautiously.

“Mmm, no, not really,” said Sunset awkwardly. “I guess they’re just not used to seeing royalty in public…. Why don’t we go meet Cinnamon Chai in the kitchen? Don’t worry, she and I are tight.”

Celestia looked uncertain, but the kitchen sounded more appealing than having everypony gawking at her.

Sunset and Celestia walked around the counter without any fuss from the register pony; the perks of being the princess’s pupil and a frequent customer. They found Cinnamon Chai on the opposite side of the kitchen with her back to them. The unicorn baker was levitating a piping bag to the top of a six-layer cake, decorating it with delicate frosted flowers.

“Wow, that looks delicious, Cinnamon Chai!” Sunset complimented.

“Oh, Sunset Shimmer, good to have you,” Cinnamon Chai greeted without looking back, focusing on the frosting. “What can I do for my second favorite customer today?”

“I’m still not your first?” asked Sunset disappointedly.

“Maybe if you left as big of a tip as Winkleburg,” said Cinnamon Chai, chuckling.

“Winkleburg…,” Sunset growled with pure loathing in her narrowed eyes. But she quickly shook her mind clear of her most hated nemesis and gestured to Celestia. “Anyway, I wanted to introduce you to somepony special. Cinnamon Chai, this is – “

Cinnamon Chai was curious about who Sunset Shimmer wanted to introduce her to, so she turned around to greet them. But when her eyes locked on to Princess Celestia, the baker suddenly jumped up and screamed with a terrible fright, making Sunset and Celestia leaned back in surprise. Cinnamon Chai stumbled backward, trying to distance herself from the alicorn, when she accidentally knocked over her cake and it fell on top of her. Sunset moved forward to help when Cinnamon Chai burst through the cake, galloped between them, and ran out the door, shouting: 

“IT’S DAYBREAKER! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!”

Sunset and Celestia winced when they heard a stampede of hooves and repeated shattering on the other side of the door mixed with frantic screaming (“EVERYPONY FOR THEMSELVES!” "WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!” “I NEVER GOT MY CUPCAKE!”)

It was several long and uncomfortable moments before the noise died down. Sunset and Celestia cautiously poked their heads out the door, grimacing. Not only was the shop completely deserted, but everything was broken from the tables, to the tea cups, to the windows. Tea and cake were spilled all over the floor from when the ponies dropped them in a hurry and fled for their lives.

“…I’m sure they just really excited the see you,” said Sunset, chuckling nervously.

Celestia hanged her head and sighed.





“I’m so sorry for what happened at Cinnamon Chai’s shop?” Blossomforth apologized to Princess Celestia. “I’m sure they didn’t mean anything terrible behind it. They just need time to get to know you.”

“I understand why they were so afraid,” said Celestia disappointedly. “And the worst part is, I never got to try any cake.”

After the disaster at tea and cake shop, Sunset intercepted Blossomforth heading back to her yoga studio and passed the princess of the sun off to her. Sunset figured with Blossomforth’s calm and “zen-like” personality, she might be able to ease Celestia into Equestrian lifestyle better.

So far, it wasn’t working out in Celestia’s opinion. It was hard for the rainbow-maned alicorn not to notice the ponies scattering like cockroaches the moment they set hoof in the commercial district. Every shop seemed to mysteriously close when they got too close, even though Celestia could clearly see dozens of ponies poking their heads up through the remarkably clear windows. Some ponies went to ridiculous lengths to get away from her including, but not limited to: jumping in a barrel of leeches, climbing up tall trees with their cats, and, worst of all, mime.

Celestia stared down at the ground sadly, wondering if she should just head back to the castle and lock herself in her room forever.

“Oh, don’t worry about them,” said Blossomforth soothingly, noticing her distress. “They’ll come around eventually.”

“What if they don’t?” Celestia questioned. “I did a lot of terrible things as Day – “

“Shush! We don’t talk about that,” said Blossomforth sternly. “Canterlot wasn’t built in a day, you know. You’ll win the ponies over eventually. And you can start here.”

They stopped in front of Blossomforth’s yoga studio, the Blossoming Lotus. Celestia was a bit apprehensive about doing this. From what little she learned from Luna, yoga can be relaxing, but more often than not it leaves alicorns tied up in unexplainable knots.

Blossomforth led them inside – Celestia jumped when the tiny bell jingled overhead. A class was already in progress; at least eight or nine ponies were performing various poses with their eyes closed in concentration so nopony noticed them enter. Blossomforth walked to the front of the class, cleared her throat, and all eyes flew open on her.

“Good day, class,” Blossomforth greeted serenely. “Today, we have a very special guest joining us.”

“Is it Princess Luna?!” A Pegasus mare gasped hopefully while doing a sphinx pose.

“No, but this is just as good,” said Blossomforth positively, gesturing to Princess Celestia. “Everypony, please welcome – “

Celestia knew it was coming; she was expecting it, really. The moment their eyes honed in on the princess of the sun, their first instinct was to scream, “DAYBREAKER!” and their second instant was to run around like headless chickens. Celestia stood motionlessly with a look of exasperation as the ponies crashed into the studio equipment, knocking over the hanging plants from the ceiling, and running headfirst into the wall mirrors, leaving spider webs of cracks on the surface. And the ponies who had their limbs tangled from their yoga session just rolled toward the exit like neon-colored boulders.

It only took a hoofful of seconds before the studio was cleared out completely, looking like a tornado had had come through.

“Er…,” Blossomforth hummed, scratching her mane awkwardly. “Maybe their chakras weren’t aligned properly?”

Celestia covered her eyes with her hoof, groaning.





“Okay, so things did work out with you at the cake shop and yoga,” said Starlight Glimmer, maintaining an aura of confidence. “But this is where it all turns around. One of the things I’ve learned since moving to Canterlot is that first impressions a very important. Everyone remembers you as Daybreaker, but they don’t know you as Princess Celestia…. That beings said, I have no idea who you’re supposed to be right now.”

Starlight looked Celestia up and down with a quirked brow. The rainbow-maned alicorn had completely covered herself up from hoof to horn. A long dirty trench coat covered her flank, her lengthy horn disappeared under a ten-gallon hat, her muzzle was concealed behind a facial mask, and her eyes hidden behind a pair of sunglasses that Starlight was certain belonged to DJ Pon-3.

Celestia obviously thought this would keep ponies from being terrified of her, and it worked to an extent, but now everypony was avoiding her for completely different reasons.

“Is the disguise really necessary?” asked Starlight.

“I’ve caused two stampedes of screaming ponies on less than two hours,” said Celestia, her voice muffled behind the mask. “This is for their safety as much as mine.”

“Okay, so ponies are harshly critical – that’s just the Canterlot lifestyle,” said Starlight, patting Celestia’s hoof. “But we can fix that. Canterlot ponies are superficial and care more about appearances than the ponies themselves – “

“That seems like a cynical view of things,” Celestia remarked.

“Welcome to the real world,” said Starlight. “So all we have to do is make you look super amazing that ponies will be begging for your attention. And the best place to shop for your fabulous new look is here!” she shouted, waving her hooves dramatically to the shop in front of them.

“’The Canterlot Carousel’?” Celestia read out loud, sounding uncertain. “I don’t know about this, Starlight Glimmer.”

“Trust me, this place is the number one dress shop in all of Canterlot,” Starlight reassured her. “Anypony who shops here becomes instantly popular.”

“But what if everypony sees me and starts freaking out again?” Celestia grimaced.

“I reserved the shop for a private fitting ahead of time,” said Starlight, feeling quite proud of herself. “And Sassy Saddles is a professional. She’s not going to ‘freak out.’”

“Okay…,” said Celestia.

Starlight opened the door for Celestia and gestured the princess inside. Celestia was relieved to see that the boutique had indeed been cleared as promised. Sassy Saddles was the only other pony besides them and she was currently arranging pony mannequins with new outfits to put on display. She turned around when Starlight closed the door behind them and positively beamed when her eyes feel on Starlight.

“Starlight Glimmer! So lovely to see you again!” Sassy Saddles greeted them keenly, pretending to kiss Starlight on each check as was her fancy custom. “It’s always a pleasure to have Equestria’s heroes visit the Canterlot Carousel. What can I do you for? Looking for a dress to the Grand Galloping Gala?”

“Some other time,” Starlight waved it off. She gestured to Celestia and said, “My friend here’s having a tough time fitting in around town and she desperately needs a new look that will make her the envy of all.”

“Ooh, I love a good fashion emergency!” Sassy Saddles clapped her hooves excitedly. “Come on, dear, let me see what I have to work with.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Celestia mumbled.

“Now, dear, I can’t help you if I can’t see you,” Sassy Saddles chuckled good-naturedly. “Come on, just a little peek.”

It was with great reluctance that Celestia slowly removed her disguise, starting with her sunglasses, then her hat and mask, and finally discarding the coat. The princess of the sun stood to her full height, stretching her wings briefly before looking down at Sassy Saddles. To her credit, the boutique manager didn’t run or scream; she looked more surprised by the fact that the alicorn was in her shop in the first place.

“…I see,” said Sassy Saddles slowly. “Well, if that’s the case, I know exactly what to do.”

Sassy Saddles trotted slowly to the backroom behind the counter. Starlight turned to Celestia with a smug grin.

“See, I told you she was a professional,” Starlight boasted. “You should have more faith in my judgement, princess. I guarantee you right now Sassy Saddles is back there picking out the most amazing – “

“She’s climbing out the back window, isn’t she?” Celestia asked dryly.

Starlight opened her mouth to retort before the thought crossed her mind and her eyes widened in sudden realization. She looked to the backroom door, then to Celestia, then to the backroom again. Starlight quickly jumped over the counter and tackled her way through the door to catch Sassy Saddles halfway out the window as Celestia predicted. The boutique manager looked like foal caught with her hoof in the cookie jar. Before Starlight had a chance to stop her, Sassy Saddles dived headlong out the window with a resulting crash!

Starlight giggled sheepishly to Celestia, who stared her down with a blank look.




With three strikes against her, Celestia thought it was time to get out and hide in her lonely tower. Unfortunately, Luna’s friend, Spitfire, was just leaving the castle when Celestia flew back. After a brief explanation of her recent failures and Celestia’s plans for the rest of her life, Spitfire took it upon herself to be the princess’s next guide. The fiery Pegasus didn’t even give Celestia a chance to protest before Spitfire grabbed her by the hoof and dragged her all the way to the Wonderbolts Academy on top of Canterlot Mountain.

Celestia stood awkwardly in the locker room while Spitfire changed into her uniform. It was thankfully empty so she didn’t have to deal with any frightened pegasi.

“Not to be mean, but the other ponies were kinda dumb,” said Spitfire jokingly, slamming her locker shut. “Nopony's gonna make friends with you because of your outfit. You wanna make friends, you gotta be cool.”

“What does being cold have to do with anything?” asked Celestia curiously.

“…Wow,” Spitfire muttered disbelievingly. “Okay, never mind that. I’ve got the perfect friends for you: my Wonderbolt pals! They’re super awesome! Loony hangs out with us all the time.”

“Loony?” Celestia repeated thoughtfully. “I’ve got to remember that one. But are you sure they won’t be scared of me?”

“No way!” Spitfire rejected. “The Wonderbolts are the toughest and bravest daredevils in all of Equestria. They’re not a bunch of chickens.”

Despite Spitfire’s confidence, Celestia wasn’t so certain. So far, everypony outside of the castle was terrified of her Daybreaker persona. Not that they didn’t have a good reason to be. She did almost burn the entire country to ash.

Spitfire and Celestia exited the locker room and glided over to the runway where a dozen pegasi in matching uniforms were performing their routine stretches.

“All right, maggots, listen up!” Spitfire shouted as she and Celestia landed, switching to drill Sargant mode. The Wonderbolts instantly lined up with their wings raised in salute. Celestia was impressed by the fiery pegasi’s ability to lead. “We’re going to work hard! We’re going to work fast! And we’re going to give it two hundred percent like every practice! Am I right?!”

“Ma’am, yes, ma’am!” the Wonderbolts shouted in unison.

“I can’t hear you!” Spitfire roared.

“MA’AM, YES, MA’AM!”

“And I expect you all to be on your best behavior today!” yelled Spitfire. “We’re practice with a princess and everypony will be severely punished for tarnishing the Wonderbolts good name!”

The Wonderbolts quickly perked up at the mention of a princess. No doubt they were expecting Luna to be joining them for another training session. But everypony kept staring straight ahead, knowing that Spitfire would reprimand them harshly. Still, Soarin couldn’t hold back his curiosity and peeked around the corner of his eyes. That’s when he locked eyes with Celestia. Aaaand you know what happens next: 

“Holy Luna, it’s Daybreaker!” he screamed, pointing his hoof at Celestia. The Wonderbolts gasped in horror. “She’s come to melt our brains again!”

“Oh, that’s right, I did do that, didn’t I?” Celestia commented.

By that point, the Wonderbolts didn’t care about Spitfire’s punishment. They all took off like rockets into the sky, leaving smoke trails in their wake that somehow melted together into the shape of a giant chicken.

Spitfire facehoofed.





Later, at the Canterlot Library – 

BOOOOM!!!

For some inexplicable reason, the library’s roof exploded and the whole building was set ablaze. Ponies were running out the doors in droves or jumping through windows, unconcerned with the broken glass (Strawberry Sunrise, who was visiting Canterlot that day, cried, “MY WING!”)

Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia walked out of the library wreckage moments later, covered from hoof to horn in soot; the former carried a dumbfounded expression while the later was exasperated.

“…I can’t even begin to explain what just happened,” said Twilight numbly.

“Well, that’s another failure to add to the list,” Celestia sighed, using her wing to brush off the soot. “I’m sorry, Twilight Sparkle, but I think I’m just going to head back to the castle. It’s clear to me now that this was a huge mistake.”

“What? No! You can’t go!” Twilight shouted insistently. “This was just…a freak accident! Yeah, a freak accident! There’s still lots of places we haven’t tried like – “

“I appreciate that you and your friends are going out of your way to help me,” Celestia cut her off tonelessly. “But there’s no point anymore. Nopony wants to be around the cruel and malicious Daybreaker.”

“But you’re not Daybreaker – not anymore,” said Twilight sympathetically. “You deserve a second chance.”

“Not everypony is willing to forgive and forget,” said Celestia somberly.

Before Twilight had the chance to refute her claim, Celestia stretched her wings and took off into the air.

The princess of the sun looked down at Canterlot as she flew over the buildings. She could see ponies pointing up at her and running for shelter like they were afraid she might start pelting them with fireballs (which she has done before, but that was then.) Celestia heaved a heavy sigh and changed course toward her sister’s castle, flying past the city limits and into the fields.

“Maybe I should’ve just stayed in the sun,” Celestia muttered to herself, staring down sadly. “I should’ve known better than to think I could ever fit in Equestria. Perhaps I could ask Luna to – “

“MAYDAY! MAYDAY! INCOMING!”

Celestia perked her head up, startled, before something flew into her and tackled her out of the air. The rainbow-maned alicorn spiraled and hit the ground with a crash! The princess of the sun moaned painfully, having landed in a scorpion position, her wings stretched out and her rainbow tail falling over her face.

“Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse,” groaned Celestia, blowing her tail out of her eyes.

Celestia returned her hooves to the ground, shaking the spots from her vision, and looked around for the cause of the collision. To her left, she spotted the broken remains of what was a cartoonishly large kite. To her right, a blue unicorn mare (who also landed in a scorpion position) with a white stripe in her blue mane and an hourglass cutie Mark. Celestia feared the mare might have gotten hurt (another reason for everypony to hate her), when the unicorn shook her head, blinked owlishly, and perkily jumped to her hooves like nothing happened.

The blue unicorn narrowed her eyes furiously, which made Celestia flinch…until she realized the mare was glaring at the ground for some reason.

“You win this round, gravity,” the mare spoke to the grass like it was her archenemy. “But no matter how many times to try to push me down, I’ll just keep getting back up! I will conquer you!”

“Um…,” Celestia hummed, glancing around awkwardly. “Are…you okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” the blue unicorn answered bouncily while facing her, smiling. “I’ve been in waaaaaay worse crashes than that. That wasn’t even in my top ten.” She held out her hoof, taking Celestia aback. “Sorry ‘bout running into you, by the way. I’m Minuette.”

“Uh, Celestia,” said Celestia awkwardly, hesitantly shaking hooves. She’s surprised this pony hadn’t taken off yet.

“Celestia…,” Minuette hummed, tapping her muzzle thoughtfully. “That sounds familiar – no, wait, don’t tell me!” She raised her hoof when Celestia opened her mouth. “…You work at Pepperoni’s Pizza on Mane St., right?”

“Er, no,” said Celestia, blinking dumbfoundedly. “I’m the princess of the sun.” Minuette tilted her head cluelessly. “Princess Luna’s older sister?” No reaction. “Daybreaker?” Minuette scratched her head. “I tried to burn Equestria in a fiery blaze two months ago?!”

“Hah! I don’t even remember what I had for breakfast this morning!” Minuette laughed good-naturedly.

“That is…a relief and a concern,” said Celestia.

“My friends say I’m special that way,” Minuette giggled; Celestia had a feeling that had a double meaning. Minuette inspected the wreckage of her kite and whined. “Aw man, there’s no way I can fix this. Darn it!”

“If I might ask,” said Celestia, kind of relieved she can speak freely with this pony. “Were you…literally flying that kite.”

“Yep!” Minuette answered proudly. “I was learning how to fly.”

“How to…fly?” Celestia repeated strangely. “But you’re a unicorn. You can’t fly.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, good madam!” Minuette shouted theatrically. “Because I am in the process of developing a method that will let non-pegasi fly wherever and whenever they want! And one day, I will invent a vehicle that will let loads of ponies fly all over the world! I’ll call it…an airplane.”

“That’ll never catch on,” Celestia dismissed.

“Just you wait and see,” Minuette smirked challengingly, then looked back at her ruined kite. “Buuut maybe I should figure out how to do the flying part first. Kite’s are good, but you’ll be in a pinch if you catch a bad wind. If only I knew what was like to fly like a Pegasus. That would help a lot.”

“…Well,” Celestia said slowly. “If you really want to know what it’s like to fly….”





“WOOO-HOOO!” Minuette squealed, flailing her hooves over her head. “I’m princess of Equestria!”

“Hey, don’t fall off, now!” Celestia warned.

Celestia glided across the Canterlot fields fast and freely while ever mindful of the blue mare riding on her back. In ancient times, such an act would be considered scandalous and result in excessive punishment (usually beheading.) But the princess of the sun didn’t mind. Minuette’s cheerful energy was the kind of pick-me-up Celestia needed after a day of constant disappointment. Celestia performed a barrel roll and a loop-the-loop; Minuette laughed excitedly while clinging to her flank.

“This – is – AWESOME!” Minuette cheered. “Thanks for giving me a lift, Tia!”

“Tia?” Celestia repeated, blinking.

“Your name’s too hard to remember,” Minuette explained nonchalantly. “So I’m calling you Tia.”

“Hmm, Tia…I like it,” said Celestia, smiling.

“Whoa…,” Minuette breathed in awe as they glided along the town border. “I can see my house from here! And Lyra’s house! And Twinkleshine’s house! And Mister Ed’s house! And – “

“Yes, you can see a lot of houses from the sky,” Celestia chuckled.

“Hey, look, there’s my friends!” said Minuette, pointing below. From above, Celestia could make out three unicorns in the western gardens. “Ugh! I completely forgot Twinkleshine and Lemon Hearts are having one of their frou-frou tea parties again.”

“You don’t want to go?” asked Celestia curiously.

“I’m more of a party-party pony myself,” Minuette admitted. “But I go anyway because they’re my friends. Hey!” She suddenly perked up. “You should totally come! You look like you’ve been to fancy parties.”

“More than you can imagine,” muttered Celestia.

“Perfect!” Minuette cheered. “You can meet my friends and save me from dying of boredom!”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea….,” said Celestia.

“Aw, but you’ve gotta come!” Minuette pleaded. “Pleeese. Please? Please-please-please-please-please-please-please-please-please-please – “

“All right, I’ll come! Just stop!” Celestia screamed with a twitchy eye.

“YAY!” Minuette cheered again.

“This is not going to end well,” Celestia grumbled before diving.

Meanwhile, Lemon Hearts hummed merrily as she levitated the tea pot, filling Lyra and Twinkleshine’s cups. Like Minuette, they weren’t fond of boring tea parties either. But Lyra was a good friend and promised to attend, and Twinkleshine – well, she lived with Lemon Hearts, so it was unavoidable. Lemon Hearts set the pot on the table before glancing at the empty seat where a certain pony was supposed to be.

“Minuette still isn’t here,” said Lemon Hearts, frowning. “What is taking that mare so long?”

“Maybe she did the smart thing and bailed,” Twinkleshine commented.

“Unlike somepony, Minuette keeps her promises,” said Lemon Hearts, huffing. “By the way, I’m still waiting for this month’s rent.”

“I’ll get it to you when I get it to you,” Twinkleshine grumbled, leaning against her hoof.

“I saw her carrying a giant kite earlier today,” Lyra commented. “She said she was going to fly with it.”

“She’s still trying to make that airplane thing work?” questioned Twinkleshine. “That’s crazy. Everypony knows only pegasi can fly.”

“Whatever she’s doing, I hope she wraps it up before the tea gets cold,” said Lemon Hearts, taking a delicate sip like a posh pony. “Knowing her, I wouldn’t be surprised if she somehow managed to fly here – “

The yellow mare cut herself off when a large shadow glided across the table and over their heads. The unicorn trio looked up curiously, and their jaws dropped in silent gasps when they saw Celestia circling the gardens. The princess of the sun touched down gently on the grass a few feet away. One look at their terrified faces made Celestia instantly regret coming here. Maybe she should – 

“Hey, girls!” Minuette popped out from behind Celestia, greeting them cheerfully. She hopped down off the princess’s back and waved a hoof. “Check it out; I made a new friend! Her name is Tia!”

“That’s…short for Celestia,” said Celestia awkwardly.

“Yeah, whatever,” said Minuette flippantly, then gestured to the unicorn trio. “Tia, these are my bestest friends in the whole wide world. That’s Lyra – she’s a musician. And those are the twins, Lemon Hearts and Twinkleshine.”

“Um…hello,” Celestia waved uncertainly. The unicorns just stared unblinkingly at her. The princess leaned in close to Minuette and asked, “Um…are you sure this is a good idea…?”

“Aw, they probably just ate some of Lemon Hearts Super Sour Lemon Bars,” Minuette waved her concern away. “I remember this one time Lyra dared me to eat a whole plate – “

All of a sudden, Twinkleshine galloped over, grabbed Minuette by the elbow, saying, “Minuette? A word, please?” and dragged her over. Minuette, Lyra, Lemon Hearts, and Twinkleshine huddled their heads together and spoke in low voices, but Celestia’s height and magically enhanced senses made it easy to make out what they were saying.

“Minuette, what did you do?” Lyra hissed.

“Whaddya mean?” Minuette asked cluelessly.

“Don’t you know who that is?” asked Lemon Hearts.

“Duh! She works at Pepperoni’s Pizza on Mane St.,” said Minuette like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Wha – no!” Lemon exclaimed disbelievingly.

“Then why do I want pizza so badly?” said Minuette.

“Because you’re weird!” Lemon Hearts snapped.

“Minuette, that’s Daybreaker,” Twinkleshine explained calmly. “Don’t you remember? We went to the Summer Solstice Festival together and she tried to cook us alive. We would’ve been fried ponies if it wasn’t for Princess Luna and the Mane 6.”

“She’s a seriously bad pony,” said Lyra. “You shouldn’t be hanging out with her.”

“She’s not bad,” Minuette argued, frowning. “She’s really nice. She let me fly with her after my kite broke.”

“She tried to destroy Equestria!” Lemon Hearts retorted. “You can’t trust her!”

“You don’t even know her!” Minuette snapped, pointing an accusing hoof. “Sure, she might’ve done some bad things in the past, but she’s a different pony now. She’s kind, and sweet, and smells like strawberries.”

“I do like strawberries,” said Lyra, nodding.

“Minuette, you can’t be – “

“Excuse me, everypony,” The unicorn quartet spun around as Celestia cautiously approached them, rubbing her hoof anxiously. “If there’s a problem, I can just leave – “

“What? No, you can’t!” Minuette rejected, running over to the princess. “You just got here!”

“It’s okay, I – “

“No, it’s not okay!” Minuette yelled, taking the princess by surprise. She spun around to her friends, staring them down with a harsh look. “Now listen here, everypony! Tia’s a really nice pony, but you aren’t even giving her a chance!”

“But…Dyabreaker…,” Twinkleshine said weakly, but Minuette cuts her off.

“She’s not Daybreaker – she’s Tia! But if you want her to leave…then I’m leaving, too!”

“No, you shouldn’t have to leave because of me,” said Celestia worriedly, shaking her head.

“I want to because we’re friends, Tia,” said Minuette proudly. Celestia was stunned. Friends? Did she just call them friends? “And if you ponies give her even half a chance, I know you could be friends, too.”

Lyra, Lemon Hearts, and Twinkleshine shared a moment of uncomfortable silence, looking between one another in an unspoken conversation. Minuette looked unusually serious; she definitely wasn’t bluffing. But still, the idea of spending time with Daybreaker was not very appealing, especially with the Summer Solstice Festival still fresh in their minds…. But, looking her now, Princess Celestia did seem a little…softer than Daybreaker…. Maybe Minuette had a point….

Lyra bravely stepped forward and walked over to Minuette and Celestia. The princess of the sun kept her eyes locked with Lyra’s as the minty mare came up to her hooves and sat on her flank.

“So…you’re a princess, right?” Lyra asked slowly. “That means you know all the secrets of the universe, right?”

“Well, I don’t know all the secrets,” Celestia admitted. “But I know my fair share.”

“Then can you tell me what you know about…,” Lyra paused briefly, casting conspiratorial glances around. “Hands.”

Minuette, Lemon Hearts, and Twinkleshine threw their heads back with exasperated groans.

“Oh, come on!”

“Are you serious?”

“Stop trying to make hands a real thing, Lyra!”

“They are real, I tell you!” Lyra shouted defensively. “I may not have proof, but I know they’re real!”

“Actually, they are real,” said Celestia. Lyra gasped with overdramatic glee, her toothy smile stretching from ear-to-ear and her eyes twinkling with stars. “Just not in this reality. The truth is, hands are attached to these fleshy two-legged creatures in an alternate dimension where they are tortured daily in a hellish nightmare prison called…high school.”

“…I knew it…” Lyra breathed, awestruck.

Minuette nudged Celestia and the pair giggled together. Suddenly, a loud gurgling sounded across the gardens before Celestia realized it was coming from her stomach. The princess covered her belly, smiling sheepishly as her face reddened with embarrassment. Lemon Hearts and Twinkleshine laughed behind their hooves, visibly relaxing for the first time since they got there.

“Er, sorry about that,” Celestia apologized. “I didn’t get to eat anything at Cinnamon Chai’s shop before it…closed.”

“Well, we can’t leave a princess starving, can we?” said Lemon Hearts. She used her horn to levitate a plate of yellow squares over to Celestia. “Here. Try some of my Super Sour Lemon Bars – trademarked.”

Celestia inspected the yellow treats with a thoughtful hum, then levitated one of the bars to her mouth. When she took a small bite of the corner, the princess immediately seized up, her entire body trembling, and her mouth curled inward. When Lemon Hearts called them “Super Sour”, she wasn’t kidding. Celestia had only taken a nibble and the excessively strong and acidic taste made it feel like her face was being sucked in through her mouth.

“Well, what do you think?” Lemon Hearts asked earnestly.

“It makes my mouth hurt,” Celestia moaned…then swallowed the rest of the lemon bar…then grabbed another…and another. “But I can’t stop eating them for some reason.”

“It’s the good kind of sour,” Lemon Hearts giggled as she watched the princess devour half the plate. “You know how some ponies like spicy foods even though it makes them sweat? That’s the same concept.” She looked to the side, glaring. “But Chase Polamino doesn’t think my lemon bars are ‘good enough for the royal pallet.’ Pompous jerk, just because he went to culinary school…”

“You know Luna’s chef?” asked Celestia curiously.

“I work in the kitchens at the palace,” said Lemon Hearts, kicking thr ground resentfully. “Though Chase Palomino has me washing dishes instead of actually cooking. I'm just as good as him, you know?”

“Well, I hope chef Palomino doesn’t mind me making you the royal baker,” said Celestia, gulping another bar whole.

“You mean it?!” Lemon Hearts gasped hopefully.

“As long as you keep making more of these delicious lemon bars,” said Celestia; Lemon Hearts squealed with glee.

“As long as we’re doing everypony favors…,” said Twinkleshine, sliding up to Celestia smoothly and offering up a small card. “Twinkleshine: Mare of Musical Talent. Nice to meet you. I just so happen to be in between jobs right now – “

“Because you can’t hold one down for more than a week,” said Lemon Hearts disapprovingly.

“And I’m looking into sponsorship for my real talent: singing!” said Twinkleshine, pointedly ignoring her twin. “Let me tell you, I have the voice of an angel. Ask anypony.”

“She’s not lying,” Lyra remarked.

“And with your support – and money – I could be the next Sapphire Shores or Countess Coloratura,” said Twinkleshine with an award-winning smile. “Whaddya say? Feel like investing in the future?”

“Please ignore my annoying filly of a sister,” said Lemon Hearts before Celestia had a chance to respond. “She makes a living mooching off others. She’s been sleeping on my couch for almost a year now.”

“It’s only until my singing career takes off!” Twinkleshine snapped.

“And when will that happen?” said Lemon Hearts, rolling her eyes.

Twinkleshine marched furiously over to her twin and the sisters devolved into a heated shouting match. Lyra took the free opportunity to ask Celestia hundreds of questions about hands (“What’re the purpose of pinkies? And why do you need to stick them out?") And Minuette had somehow found another cartoonishly large kite and jumped off the nearby tower, swooping across the air like a bird until she smacked face first into a tree.

Celestia looked around at the strange group of mares and found herself giggling merrily. She hadn’t expected them to warm up to her so quickly, but she was happy that they had given her the opportunity. She knew that not everypony would forget about her time as Daybreaker, and it would be even longer before they learned to forgive her. But that didn’t bother her as much as it had before. These four eccentric unicorns thought of her as a friend, and that was good enough for now.

Celestia quickly stole the last of the Super Sour Lemon Bars off the plate and watched Minuette stumble dizzily into the table, sending tea flying everywhere. It splashed Twinkleshine and Lemon Hearts, who vocalized their complaints to the blue mare while Minuette giggled goofily. And as she watched the twins chase Minuette furiously, and somehow dragging Lyra into it, Celestia looked her head to the sky, feeling content.





At the same time, Princess Luna sat upon her throne, surrounded by her close friends and the Mane 6. Normally, it would be considered unorthodox and reprehensible for common ponies to be anywhere near the throne, but Luna forgave them for it. They were all looking through a viewing portal that the princess had conjured up, watching Celestia and the chaos that unfolded with her new friends, occasionally laughing.

“Good for you, sister,” Luna murmured, smiling.







> Sisters-at-Hooves
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sunset Shimmer reared up her hind legs and bucked the ball as hard as she could. Spitfire jumped and tried to block, but the ball slipped through the gap between her hooves, landing securely in the net behind her. Sunset let out a loud whoop and did a two-legged dance, chanting, “I’m awesome! I’m awesome! Way better than Spitfire! I’m awesome!”

“Okay, okay, you get that one,” Spitfire chuckled amusingly. “Not bad for a nerd who spends all day with her head in the books. But the score is tied at twelve a-piece. Next goal wins.”

“And that’s going to be me!” Sunset declared determinedly. “I’m finally gonna knock you off your pedestal!”

“Dream on, baby sis,” Spitfire challenged.

It was very rare that the Sunfire Sisters (That's what we're calling them now) got to spend time together between Sunset’s lessons and Spitfire’s Wonderbolt duties. But on the occasion they had the same day off, they liked to spend it at the hoofball field near Canterlot’s middle-class residential district where they grew up. They’ve been playing ever since they were foals and not once has Sunset ever beaten her sister in a game. But that was going to change today.

They lined up on opposite sides of the centerfield line, the ball in Spitfire’s hoof. Sunset crouched low to the ground while her flank was in the air, ready to pounce at any moment. Spitfire snickered.

“There’s still time to back out before you suffer another humiliating defeat,” Spitfire offered taunting.

“You wouldn’t happen to be stalling because you know I’m gonna kick your sorry flank, would you?” Sunset retorted smugly.

“Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn you,” said Spitfire, rolling her eyes.

“Just toss the ball already,” Sunset demanded impatiently.

Spitfire shrugged her shoulders and threw the ball high into the air, then shifted into a crouched position herself. The Sunfire Sisters watched, unblinkingly, as the ball reached its peak, paused, then fell back down. Neither pony made a move until the ball touched the ground. At that instant, both sisters lunged for the ball, but Spitfire’s superior speed got to it first. She expertly dribbled the ball around her sister, leaving Sunset momentarily stupefied before charging the net. Sunset quickly lit her horn and teleported away.

Sunset reappeared in front of the goalpost just as Spitfire was making a break away. The princess’s student lit up her horn and fabricated a transparent orange barrier to block her sister off. Spitfire smirked at the challenge.

The Wonderbolts captain grounded her hooves to stop herself, spun around, and bucked the ball high into the air. Sunset tilted her head back, following the ball, that she didn’t notice Spitfire spreading her wings and shooting into the sky. The older sister reached the ball quick as lightning and bucked it back to the ground like a meteor strike. The ball flew over Sunset’s barrier, bounced off the ground next to the unicorn, and shot into the goal, nearly tearing out the net.

“YA-HOO!” Spitfire cheered, landing on the ground next to her sister and pumping her hoof. “That’s how we do things Wonderbolts style!” She rose up on her hindlegs, mimicking Sunset’s dance. “Uh-huh! I’m awesome! I’m awesome! Always better than Sunset! I’m awesome!”

“Ugh! I lost!” Sunset grunted, kicking the dirt in frustration.

“Aw, don’t feel bad, baby sis,” said Spitfire kindly, pulling into a side embrace. “It’s all in good fun.”

“I’m just sick of losing to you,” Sunset grumbled.

“Well, what do you expect,” said Spitfire, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly. “You’re a nerd and I’m an athlete. I’m always gonna be better than you at the physical stuff. No shame in that.”

“Ugh, you think you’re sooo great, don’t you?” Sunset grimaced, throwing off her sister’s hoof.

“That’s because I am,” said Spitfire smugly.

“All right, let’s prove it,” Sunset challenged.

“Prove what?” asked Spitfire interestingly.

“I challenge you to an Iron Pony competition,” Sunset declared. “A series of athletic contests to decide who's the best, once and for all.”

“A chance to show off and put my baby sis in her place?” Spitfire grinned. She held out her hoof and Sunset reached out with hers, shaking in agreement. “You – are – on!”





The royal palace didn’t officially have a playing field, but when you have a bunch of unicorns that can break the laws of physics on a whim, it’s easy to renovate.

Like the Summer Solstice Festival, the castle courtyard had been completely transformed to accommodate for the Sunfire Sisters’ competition. Everything from an obstacle course, to a sprinting track, to barrel weaving, to…a mud pit (Yeah, I don’t get it either.) Rows of bleachers were erected on the sidelines where the Mane 6, Princess Luna and Celestia, and all of their friends were stomping their hooves and cheering; Minuette was waving a giant flag of herself for some reason.

“Welcome, everypony, to the first annual Iron Pony Competition!” Spike announced from his little commentary table nearby. “I’m Spike – “

“And I’m Grubber!” Grubber announced cheerfully next to him.

“Today is a momentous day in Equestrian history, wouldn’t you agree, Grubber?” asked Spike.

“You betcha, Spike!” said Grubber enthusiastically. “Today, we have a mega competition between two of Canterlot’s brightest stars. On one side is the personal student of Princess Luna, Sunset Shimmer! She’ll be facing off against her big sister and captain of the Wonderbolts, Spitfire!”

“Both ponies will be competing in a series of twenty athletic competitions to see who is the ultimate pony!” said Spike. “I would just like to take a moment to – “

“Get on with it already!” Tempest shouted impatiently.

“Er…let the games begin?” Spike declared nervously, wiping the sweat from his brow as their audience cheered.





“The first competition is barrel weaving!” Spike explained. “Ponies have to weave back and forth through the barrels with the fastest time to win. But if they hit one of the barrels, time will be added to their final score. And it looks like Sunset Shimmer is first on the field.”

Sunset crouched low at the starting line while Spitfire and Grubber hanged off to the side – the latter possessing a clipboard and stopwatch. The sunny mare stared down the stretch of dirt that laid in front of her, noting the colorful barrels that were spread out at minimal distances from each other. It was designed to test a pony’s ability to switch courses on the spot.

Easy enough, Sunset thought. She had lots of practice running with her crazy bunch of friends.

“On your mark…get set…go!” shouted Grubber, starting the timer.

Sunset sprinted out the gate and weaved around the first and second barrels with the greatest of ease. This was a game of precision on top of speed, and Sunset excelled at precision thanks to her countless years of magical training. The sunny mare was halfway through the course, and it looked like she was about to make record time. But in a split second where she needed to blink, Sunset unconsciously bumped her flank into one of the barrels. Sunset cursed under her breath, but pressed on through the rest of the course.

Sunset soon cleared the finish line and Grubber stopped the timer.

“What…what’d I get?” Sunset asked, panting as she trotted over.

“Eighteen seconds,” Grubber answered.

“Hey, not bad, sis,” Spitfire complimented.

“But you got a five second penalty for nudging the barrel,” Grubber continued, jotting down a note on his clipboard. “So that puts Sunset’s final time at twenty-three seconds.”

“Luna dang it!” Sunset growled, kicking the ground.  “I had it!”

“Now, now, baby sis,” Spitfire patted Sunset on the head in what felt like a condescending way. “Remember, it's all in good fun.”

“Just get over there,” Sunset grumbled.

Spitfire nonchalantly paced over to the line, not even settling into a starting position with how confident she was.

“Ready…set…go!” Grubber shouted as he started the time.

Spitfire took off like a bullet, creating a shockwave that knocked Grubber and Sunset off the ground. Nopony even saw Spitfire; they only watched a yellow blur weave through the barrels without touching a single one. Before anypony knew what happened, Spitfire came to a screeching halt at the finish line, flashing a winning smile without looking the least bit winded.

Spitfire pranced over to Sunset and Grubber, playfully pushing up their hanging jaws.

“So, what was my time?” asked Spitfire, smiling confidently.

Grubber looked down at the stopwatch and his eyes nearly popped out of his skull as he shouted, “Fifteen seconds! That’s an Equestrian record!”

“I’m captain of the Wonderbolts,” Spitfire reminded them proudly. “Speed and precision are what I do best.”

“It looks like Spitfire takes the win in the barrel weave!” Spike announced, flipping the scorecard on the table while the ponies cheered from the bleachers.

“You know,” Spitfire said casually, leaning against her sister’s flank. “If you want to drop out now, nopony will think any less of you.”

“Dream on, showboat,” said Sunset, shoving the pegasi off. “So you won the first match. Don’t go getting used to it. I’m still gonna take you down.”





“Next is the bucking contest!” Spike announced as the ponies in the audience cheered, which now included several of the royal guards. “The game is pretty straightforward. Each pony has to kick the lever and ring the bell at the top. First up, Spitfire!”

Spitfire sized the up the high striker, taking in account the distance between the lever and the bell. With a grunt of effort, she bucked the target and was rewarded with a satisfying DING! Spitfire floated in the air, graciously bowing to the audience as they started throwing flowers (and horseshoes.) She flapped over to Sunset, who seemed shockingly poised after watching Spitfire’s run.

“Not bad, not bad at all,” Sunset spoke with air of confidence. “Now let me show you how it’s really done.”

Spitfire snorted as she watched her younger sister trot up to the lever. The sunny mare turned around and, after shooting a smug smirk in Spitfire’s direction, kicked the target. Dozens of jaws hit the ground as not only did Sunset hit the bell, but shattered it off the wooden beam. Everypony watched dumbfounded as the target bell flew over the palace walls and disappeared on the other side (“MY WING!” Somepony screamed from outside.)

Sunset trotted nonchalantly past her sister, who sputtered incoherently.

“Who – what – when – where – why – HOW?!?!?!?!” Spitfire screeched.

“I've been hitting the gym with Tempest lately," Sunset explained, smirking. "She has a surprisingly strict workout routine.

To demonstrate, Tempest placed a lump of coal in her elbow, crushed it, and watched it turn into a glimmering diamond. Spitfire felt the sweat dripping down the side of her head; her sister had a strange type.





The audience had somehow grown in numbers again, now including background characters like Strawberry Sunrise, who was wearing a cast on her wing for some unexplainable reason. Everypony cheered as Sunset Shimmer stepped into the enclosed pen with Spike straddled on her back, wearing a cowpony hat. The baby dragon was sweating and asking himself, “Why me?”

“Ready?” asked Grubber, who was taking Spike’s place at the announcer’s booth. “GO!”

Sunset tossed her flank in the air, nearly throwing the baby dragon off her hindquarters had he not grabbed onto her tail at the last second and pulled himself back. She tried a second time and Spike used the same method to save himself from being thrown off. The third and fourth attempt, Spike just barely managed to stay on Sunset’s flank, but by the fifth buck, Spike was launched over the fence and into the barrels from the first competition.

Grubber, who had been keeping the time, checked the stopwatch and yelled, “Sixteen seconds!”

“Is it over yet?” Spike moaned, leaning over the rim of the barrel.

“Don’t get sick just yet.” Spike yelped as Spitfire magically appeared inside the barrel underneath him, grinning like a madpony. “We’re going for a ride!”

“NO!” Spike cried, but was powerless to stop her.

Spitfire glided back into the pen with Spike, and before the baby dragon could make a run for it, Grubber shouted, “GO!” As opposed to the traditional bucking style of her sister, Spitfire bounced in place, shooting up and down like a jackhammer. In practically no time at all, Spike was slingshot into the air and Grubber stopped the timer.

“Ten seconds!” Grubber announced, flipping the scoreboard under Spitfire’s name as the audience exploded with cheers. “Spitfire wins the bronco buck!”

By some divine fortune, Spike crash landed in the seat next to Grubber, flopping over the table with a dizzy moan.

“And I lose…,” he groaned.





Spike was apathetic by this point. Here he was, forced to stand in pen while Sunset and Spitfire were twirling lassos. The sunny unicorn showed a surprisingly level of skill and dexterity, casually hopping back and forth through the loop, while Spitfire struggled to spin it in a circle.

All Spike could think was, “Who picked these games?”

The baby dragon let out a surprised yelp as Sunset snared him with her lasso, hogtying his claws and feet with the greatest of ease. The sunny mare took a bow as the audience (which had once again doubled) started throwing roses in the pen…. Then she looked over at Spitfire, who managed to wrangle herself in her own rope.

“This has to count for something, right?” Spitfire asked.





For the purposes of saving time (and because the author was really lazy), we’ll fly through the highlights of the competition.

The next competition was the ball bounce where both ponies had to keep their ball in the air as long as possible. Spitfire casually juggled not one, not two, not three or four, but five balls in the air with her head, hooves, and wings. Sunset, on the other hand, only managed a few bounces before she popped the ball with her horn.

Next came the hay bale toss. Spitfire managed a decent throw that landed on the end line. But as expected from somepony that broke the high striker, Sunset not only threw her hay bale past Spitfire’s, but accidentally crushed Princess Celestia in the audience. The contest was on hold for half-an-hour to make sure she wasn’t dead.

The hoof wrestle contest was next. As you can imagine, Sunset absolutely crushed her older sister, slamming her to the ground and nearly snapping her hoof off.

The hoofball kick was determined by who could buck their ball the farthest. And though Sunset’s strength allowed her to reach a huge distance, Spitfire’s used her Pegasus sense of the weather and waited until the wind current picked up before making her kick. The wind carried her ball to the opposite side of the courtyard, twice the distance of Sunset’s.





“We’re at the halfway point of the Iron Pony Competition and the scores are tied and five a-piece!” Spike announced. “Things are really starting to heat up, wouldn’t you say, Grubber?”

“In more ways than one, Spike,” Grubber agreed. “You can see the tempers flaring up in our competitors faces as the games move forward. Frustration is mounting as the sisters find themselves tied over and over again. I don’t think it’ll be long before one of them cracks.”

“You can definitely feel the pressure as they head into the next contest: push-ups!” said Spike. “Both ponies will do as many as they can until they collapse. Who ever does the most by the end wins!”

The Sunfire Sisters sweated profusely, their breaths coming out in hard spurts, their hooves trembling painfully, but they would not concede. The fiery mares glared at ach other as they pushed themselves up and down in a battle of wills. They didn’t know how long they had been going, which was why Lemon Hearts was there to act as an impartial judge.

“Ninety-five…ninety-six…ninety-seven…ninety-eight…ninety-nine…”

But Spitfire had reached her limit, collapsing on the ground with a strangled groan. Sunset could feel hooves starting to give out as well, but at the last second, her horn glowed and she telepathically lifted herself up.

“One hundred! Sunset wins!” Lemon Hearts shouted amidst the wild cheers.

Spitfire, who saw her sisters horn light up, shouted angrily, “You cheated! You used your magic to help!”

“You can’t prove anything,” Sunset said smugly as she walked away with her chin held high.

“So that’s how you wanna play it, huh?” Spitfire growled, her hooves shaking furiously. “Well, two can play that game.”





That incident seemed to open a floodgate of cheating between the sisters, which started off small, but then became more obvious to everypony as the events went on.

During the long jump, Sunset took a great leap and landed a decent twenty yards in the sandpit. But when Spitfire’s turn came around, the pegasus opened her wings at the peak of her jump and glided casually across, beating Sunset’s distance by eight hooves.

The next event was rabbit wrangling. The competition was fairly easy: collect the most rabbits scattered around the courtyard in the allotted time. Under normal circumstances, Spitfire’s hyper speed would have allowed her to catch them before Sunset even made a move. But the sunny unicorn casually levitated all of the rabbits to her without taking a single step.

The Sunfire Sister’s next contest consisted of throwing the most balls in their respective buckets, which were raised ten hooves in the air. Sunset once again collected all the balls with her magic and tossed them toward the bucket one after the other. But Spitfire swooped in their path and kicked all the balls back into her own bucket, earning a landslide victory.





“All right, you two, this is the final event,” said Grubber. He stood halfway between the Sunfire Sisters, both tugging on the end of a length of rope over a mud pit. “The classic tug-o-war. Whoever pulls their opponent into the mud wins.”

“It’s gonna be me,” Sunset declared through the rope.

“Nuh-uh, it’s gonna be me,” Spitfire countered.

“Everypony ready?” said Grubber, raising his hand. He paused for a moment of dramatic tension before swiping it down. “GO!”

Both ponies ground their feet into the dirt and pulled back with all their strength. From the get-go, Sunset had the clear advantage and steadily pulled her sister toward the edge. Spitfire stood on her tip-hooves, a notable panic in her eyes as she inched slowly towards the mud.

“Looks like the unicorn might come out ahead in this one!” Spike announced. “Will the little sister finally overcome the big sister?”

Not if Spitfire had anything to say about it.

Sunset gave a hearty tug that pulled her sister over the edge, but Spitfire did not hit the mud as intended. The Pegasus shamelessly flapped her wings, keeping her aloft, then quickly rose to the air. Sunset was powerless to stop herself from being lifted off the ground and was dangling over the pit.

Spitfire smirked down at her younger sister, confident in her victory. Sunset glared and ignited her horn with magic. A pair of ethereal wings sprouted from her back and Sunset flapped higher until she was at the same level as her sister.

Meanwhile, Twilight turned to Starlight and asked, “Did you know she could do that?”

Starlight shrugged mutely.

The Sunfire Sisters pulled until the teeth started to ache and their muzzles turned sore. It seemed like the competitive sisters would go on forever had it not been for divine intervention (or shoddy rope-making skills) that caused the line to snap in the middle. The sisters were launched on opposite ends of the courtyard; Spitfire landed face first in the long jump sandpit, and Sunset fell headlong into a barrel, tipping it over on its side.

A stunned and confused silence fell over the audience. Grubber was the first to snap out of his stupor and nudged Spike in the side. The baby dragon shook his head and rose from his seat.

“It looks like the final event ended in a draw!” he announced. “That means the winner of the Iron Pony Competition is – “

Before he could get the name out, Sunset and Spitfire pulled themselves up, leering across the courtyard, and galloped at one another with gnashing teeth. For one terrifying moment, everypony thought the sisters were suddenly turning violent. But Sunset and Spitfire stopped short of each other, pointing accusing hooves, and shouted in unison, “You cheated!!”

“You cheated first!” Spitfire snarled. “You used magic to help you with those push-ups!”

“You can’t prove anything!” Sunset snapped. “But everypony saw how you flew on that long jump! You’re the cheater!”

“You dirty little liar!” Spitfire shouted. “What happened to being the Element of Honesty?”

“Oh, don’t give me that cud!” Sunset hissed. “What happened to integrity, O’ great Wonderbolt captain?”

“Can’t we just agree you’re both dirty rotten cheaters?” said Octavia exasperatedly.

“NO!” The Sunfire Sisters snapped in perfect synch.

“All right, we need to settle this once and for all in a fair and equal contest,” said Sunset diplomatically.

“Just what I was thinking,” said Spitfire in a dignified manner. “What do you have in mind?”

“The princesses are heading to Ponyville tomorrow to observe the annual Running of the Leaves,” Sunset explained. “I challenge you to race me in it. First one to cross the finish line wins.”

“Hah! Is that all? This is going to be a breeze,” Spitfire proclaimed assuredly.

“Hold on there!” Sunset shouted, stopping her sister by the tail before she could walk away. “There’s one condition: the point is to run, so no wings allowed.”

“Fine!” Spitfire spat. “But only on the condition that you’re not allowed to use magic.”

“Fine!” shouted Sunset.

“Fine!” Spitfire retorted harshly.

The Sunfire Sister’s butted heads against one another, growling through gritted teeth while trying to push the other back.

“…They’re gonna sabotage each other and both come in last place, aren’t they?” said Moon Dancer, sighing exasperatedly.

“It’s a predictable plot,” Starlight commented nonchalantly.





In one rotation of the princesses lowering and raising the celestial bodies in the sky, the next day had arrived.

Ponyville was as picturesque as it had been when the Mane 6 visited during the Summer Harvest Festival (though there had been a recent addition of ban posters for a certain team of heroes since last time.) The green trees that surrounded the town had turned to colorful shades of reds, yellows, and browns, marking the end of summer and the beginning of fall.

Everypony was there to greet Princess Luna and Princess Celestia when they arrived by flying chariot, accompanied by their personal group of friends. Though there was a noticeable lack of the Mane 6…until the ponies heard a chorus of frightened screams and galloped out of the way when Trixie’s wagon landed in the middle of the square. Strawberry Sunrise pumped her hoof, cheering that the wagon had missed her by mere inches…then the door flew open in her face.

“Why do we keep taking the dangerous mountain path to get here?” Twilight asked as she stepped out the wagon with her friends. “Can’t we take the Friendship Express like normal ponies?”

“Exactly what part of us is normal?” Starlight commented. She was the last to exit the wagon and slammed the door shut behind her, never noticing the yellow Pegasus plastered against the wagon wall.

“Come on, you guys, hurry up!” Spike whinnied childishly, bouncing on Twilight flank. “I don’t want to be late for the race!”

“Why are you so excited about the race?” asked Tempest curiously, reluctantly carrying a motion sick hedgehog on her flank. “It’s only for ponies.”

“Yeah, but I'm hoping I can be the announcer again,” said Spike hopefully. “Just listen” – he snatched up a random stick off the the ground and started speaking into it like a microphone – “Fillies and gentlecolts, welcome to the annual Running of the – “

“Welcome ta the annual Runnin’ of the Leaves!”

Without realizing it, they had arrived at the starting line for the Running of the Leaves on the edge of the Everfree Forest. Floating in a pink hot air balloon above the track was none other than Apple Bloom, the Mane 6’s Ponyville friend. She was shouting into a megaphone that magically amplified her voice. Spike grumbled under his breath, throwing away his microphone-stick; Twilight giggled behind her hoof, but didn’t say anything.

“Ah’m Apple Bloom, your official aye-in-the-sky announcer!” Apple Bloom broadcasted as the balloon carried her over the browning trees. “As everypony knows, the Runnin’ of the Leaves is a very important tradition! Every year, ponies all over Equestria run ta make the autumn leaves fall from the trees, signalin’ the change o’ the season! And this year, Ponyville has an extra special surprise: a contest from two of Canterlot’s greatest! The captain of the Wonderbolts acrobatics team, Spitfire, and her little sister and one of mah personal heroes, Sunset Shimmer!”

The crowds broke out in excited chattered and parted the way to open a path for the Sunfire sisters. The Wonderbolt captain held her chin high with an award-winning smile, prancing like she had already won the contest. Her younger sister followed shortly behind, glaring at Spitfire’s flank.

“A little background for all y’all ponies just tunin’ in,” said Apple Bloom. “Spitfire and Sunset are having a contest to see who is the better athlete. Both o’ them will be racin’ in the Runnin’, but with a few conditions.” As the filly narrated the scene, Vinyl and Blossomforth tied down Spitfire’s wings to her flank with a length of rope. “Spitfire ain’t allowed ta use her wings.” Meanwhile, Twilight personally lodged a familiar metal ring on Sunset’s horn. “And Sunset ain’t allowed ta use any magic. They’ll be competin’ like normal Earth Ponies in a good, and hopefully clean, race!”

“So, baby sis, are you ready to win second place?” Spitfire taunted.

“Try saying that when you’re staring at my flank the whole way,” Sunset retorted.

“What? You trying to make Tempest jealous?” Spitfire snickered. “Unless she has some sister kink, I don’t think it’s gonna work.”

Sunset sputtered incoherently, turning red in the face, and yelped, “Yeah, well, at least Tempest knows I like her! That’s more than can be said about you and Soarin!”

Now it was Spitfire’s turn to sputter like an idiot, her cheeks turning an interesting shade of red.

“Racers! To your positions!” Apple Bloom commanded. As the ponies moved toward the starting line, she pulled out a flash card and read, “This years Runnin’ of the Leaves is sponsored by Hoofensmirtz Villainous Enterprises. Hoofensmirtz – Curse you, Agent Sweetie Drops.” The filly blinked and looked the flashcard over, making sure she read that right. “That’s a weird slogan.”

“Uh, Apple Bloom.”

The filly looked to her right, surprised to see Spike climbing up the side of her basket. How he got there was anypony’s guess.

“Hey, Spike, what’s up?” Apple Bloom greeted, covering the megaphone with her hoof.

“Uh, hey, Apple Bloom, I was just wondering,” Spike spoke hesitantly, which was not something you would recommend while dangling from a considerable height. “I know you're doing the announcing today and stuff and... I'm sure you're gonna do a great job and all, but... I was just wondering...”

“Yeees?” said Apple Bloom encouragingly.

“I was just…,” Spike started, but quickly deflated. “You know what, never mind.”

“Spike…,” Apple Bloom smiled teasingly. “Are ya asking if ya wanna be mah co-reporter?”

“…Maybe,” Spike mumbled reservedly.

“Well, why didn’t ya say so?!” Apple Bloom shouted gleefully. “We could comment on the action together!”

“We could?” Spike asked hopefully.

“Git on in here,” Apple Bloom giggled. She grabbed Spike’s claws and pulled him into the basket, causing him to fall flat on his face. But the baby dragon quickly bounced back. Apple Bloom took her hoof off the megaphones and said, “The Runnin’ is about to begin! Everypony ready!”

“It’s gonna be so fun wiping that grin off your face,” Sunset muttered to her sister, crouching behind the starting line.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be seeing you at the finish line…tomorrow,” Spitfire snorted, taking her position beside Sunset.

“On your marks…” Apple Bloom started.

“Get set…” Spike continued.

They paused for a moment of dramatic suspense, nearly making everypony on the starting line take off early. After two seconds of dead silence, an air horn sounded through the trees and the ponies took off like rockets. Spitfire and Sunset were immediately at the head of the pack, running shoulder-to-shoulder with each other.

“Aaand they’re off!” Apple Bloom announced, the balloon somehow managed to keep pace with the herd of speedy ponies, or more specifically, the Sunfire Sisters. “Right out the gate, Sunset Shimmer and Spitfire are evenly matched runnin’ neck and neck!” The filly narrowed her vision on the sisters as she observed one of them slowly starting to take the front. “But what’s this? Spitfire is makin’ her move, she’s now ahead by a nose!”

Watching her sister gain a small lead, Sunset pushed herself to move her hooves faster, steadily closing the gap between them, much to Spitfire’s irritation. The sunny unicorn stuck her tongue out childishly as she passed before putting in an extra spurt of energy to steadily widen the distance. Spitfire looked stupefied by the sudden change of events. 

“Hold on to your horses, Apple Bloom,” said Spike. “Sunset Shimmer has overtaken frontrunner Spitfire and has now gained a massive lead over her big sister.”

“Ah woulda thought Spitfire was the faster pony,” Apple Bloom commented. “Aren’t the Wonderbolts supposed to be like the fastest ponies in Equestria.”

“Maybe in terms of flying,” Spike elaborated. “But from the looks of it, Spitfire isn’t accustomed to running on the ground for long distances. Sunset, on the other hoof, has experience running from monsters in the Everfree Forest, angry mobs in Ponyville, and the occasional brony. Sunset Shimmer has the physical advantage, but it’s still anypony’s game.”

“Not so easy without wings, is it?” Sunset called back to her sister, taunting.

“Come on, me, show them a little fire,” Spitfire muttered to herself.

Spitfire’s hooves ached in a way she had never known before as she pushed herself harder, but the pain was worth it as she steadily closed the gap. She bumped shoulders with her younger sister, nearly unsteadying her.

“Whoa nelly! Spitfire’s gunnin’ fer Sunset Shimmer and fightin’ fer that lead!” announced Apple Bloom.

“What an upset!” said Spike dramatically. “Never count out the power of determination – or stubbornness.”

“You didn't think I was gonna let you off that easily, did you?” Spitfire said to Sunset through gasping breaths.

“It’s not so impressive when you’re – whoa!” Sunset yelped.

The sunny unicorn face planted hard into the dirt, making her see stars. By the time she regained her senses, the other ponies running behind had stampeded past Sunset, showering her in a layer of fallen leaves. Sunset shot up on her hooves, spitting out the few that got in her mouth.

“I don’t believe it,” she hissed.

“Ah know, it’s pretty ain’t it?” Apple Bloom commented. She and Spike lowered the balloon to speaking range of Sunset; the filly taking in the myriad of autumn leaves on the ground. “A lotta ponies say summer or spring are their favorite seasons, but ah like fall best.”

“I’m not talking about the scenery,” said Sunset, stomping her hoof. “Spitfire just tripped me.”

Spike and Apple Bloom exchanged strange looks, then the dragon said, “Uh, no, she didn’t.”

“She did too!” Sunset snapped.

“Nah, she didn’t,” said Apple Bloom. She leaned over the balloon basket and pointed to an almost unnoticeable rock jutting out of the ground. “Y’all tripped over that there rock. If y’all had slowed down and looked where ya was a-going, ya mighta seen it.”

“What?” Sunset babbled dumbfoundedly, looking at the rock like it was something alien. The mare grimaced and looked ahead down the road, noticing the other runners were getting further away. “Mother of Luna! Now I got a lot of ground to make up to catch Spitfire!”

“Y’all be careful now!” Apple Bloom called, watching Sunset gallop away.





Every fiber of Spitfire’s being was screaming at her to STOP RUNNING!!! She’s a Pegasus for Luna’s sake! She’s not supposed to be on the ground like a normal earth pony! Her chest felt like it was being crushed by a boulder, her lungs like they were being squeezed by a python. Her hooves were staring to blister and her eyes were watering from the excruciating pain. But Spitfire’s pride won over her common sense and she refused to slow down.

The fiery Pegasus was wheezing when she looked around behind her. Somehow, she had run so far ahead that she had left everypony behind. Spitfire’s shoulders sagged in relief as she slowed down to a leisurely gait. Finally, she could take a well-deserved br – 

“See you at the finish line!” Sunset shouted as she zoomed past Spitfire, cackling.

“I don’t believe it!” shouted Spike as he and Apple Bloom soared over the scene. “After a huge setback, Sunset is back at the front of the pack!”

“But Spitfire ain’t takin’ that lyin’ down!” said Apple Bloom while watching the fiery Pegasus break out into a sprint. “She’s exhausted as all heck, but Spitfire’s not givin’ the win ta her lil’ sister! That’s some real grit right there!”

“Not…so…fast…baby sis,” Spitfire huffed in a scratchy voice, her throat unbearably dry from all the running. “This race…isn’t…over….”

“It is for you,” said Sunset smugly.

Watching her younger sister put out an extra burst of speed, Spitfire attempted to follow her example, but ended up falling flat on her face. It was a strange sense of déjà vu for Apple Bloom and Spike as they watched the herd of ponies stampede over Spitfire, covering her in another layer of leaves. the commentators lowered their balloon closer to the ground as Spitfire emerged from the pile, breathing long, gasping wheezes. Sympathetic to her misery, Apple Bloom grabbed a potion bottle in the basket and tossed it to Spitfire.

“Here, drink up,” she offered kindly. Then she spoke quickly into the megaphone, “Fizzy Fruit Potions provided by The Great and Powerful Trixie Incorporated ©.”

Spitfire practically ripped the stopper off with her teeth and chugged the entire thing in a handful of gulps. She exhaled in relief, her exhaustion washing away like sand in the tide.

“Thanks,” Spitfire said gratefully…then she smashed the bottle on the ground. “Can you believe that?! Sunset tripped me!”

“Uh, no, she didn’t,” said Spike, sensing a repeat of events. He pointed a claw to an exposed stump in the path and said, “You tripped over that stump, see?”

“Ya know, it’s one thing ta trip over a rock,” said Apple Bloom with a strange look, “but how’d y’all not see that huge stump in the middle o’ the road?”

“All I saw was a big cheater named Sunset Shimmer,” Spitfire sneered.

“Spitfire, nopony cheated,” said Spike, frowning. “It was just an accident.”

“Sure it was,” Spitfire scoffed. “She cheated at the Iron Pony Competition and now she’s cheating here, too. She just can’t stand the thought that her big sister is better than her. Well, it’s time to even the playing field.”

If Spitfire had a mustache right now, she’d be twirling it. The fiery Pegasus cackled under her breath as she galloped after the other racers.

“…She’s gonna do somethin’ stupid, ain’t she?” said Apple Bloom

“Do you have to ask?” Spike replied in a dry tone.





The Running of the Leaves had proven to be a grueling affair and the contest was only reaching the halfway point. Through sheer willpower, Spitfire managed to gallop her way back to the front of the herd going shoulder-to-shoulder with Sunset. They passed through the field near Sweet Apple Acres and crossed the stream headed back to Ponyville.

“Wow, them ponies are really goin’ at it, ain’t they, Spike?” Apple Bloom commented as their balloon soared to keep up with the Sunfire Sisters.

“You can say that again, Apple Bloom,” said Spike. “Spitfire is doing her best to catch up with Sunset, but Sunset is maintaining a small lead.”

“Ooh, but not for long!” Apple Bloom shouted enthusiastically, pointing her hoof as Spitfire slowly galloped ahead of Sunset. “Looks like Sunset Shimmer is in some deep manure as Spitfire overtakes her!”

“Look, ma, no wing!” Spitfire taunted while casually flipping her tail into Sunset’s snout, doing her best to tick the unicorn off. Sunset would’ve taken a bite out of Spitfire’s tail if the Pegasus hadn’t pulled it back at the last second, startled. Sunset snapped her teeth threateningly and that was Spitfire’s cue to speed up as they entered the next leg of the race.

“As the racers enter Whitetail Wood, Spitfire is back in the lead,” announced Spike.

Spitfire was keeping her tail close to her flank, occasionally looking back Sunset, where she and her snapping teeth were starting to gain ground on the Pegasus. Spitfire looked forward when she caught sight of a low-hanging branch just up ahead. With a devious chuckle, Spitfire quickly grabbed the branch in her teeth as she ran past, bending it backwards, and released. The branch snapped back in Sunset’s face, sending the unicorn rolling across the ground.

Sunset growled like a rabid dog, spitting the leaves from her mouth.

“I know you did that on purpose, Spitfire!” yelled Sunset.

“Can’t prove it!” Spitfire called back, laughing.

Sunset shook her hoof violently, imagining all the things she could do to her sister with it…. But then she got a better idea. A conniving smirk crossed her lips as the unicorn looked around the area and spotted the biggest and most gangly branch she could find.

She grabbed hold of the end of the branch with her teeth and pulled it back, fight against the branch’s resistance to snap back. After about six or seven steps, Sunset had pulled the branch as far as it could go without breaking. Then, with no hesitation, she jumped off the ground and allowed the branch to snap back with her still holding on to it, slingshotting her through the air.

Meanwhile, Spitfire was literally patting herself on the back.

“Hah! Nice one, me,” Spitfire told herself.

“See ya!” Sunset yelped as she literally flew by.

Spitfire gapped, unconsciously tripping over her hooves and faceplanting into the ground. The fiery Pegasus growled, jumping back up and sprinting after her.

Sunset was holding a solid lead, but when she looked back, she could see her sister gaining ground. At this rate, she would catch up to Sunset in no time. She needed a way to throw the pegasus off…and she found it in the form of a beehive hanging from the tree up ahead. Sunset cackled deviously as she leapt at the tree with a flying kick, striking it at the base. The tree shook violently and dislodged the bee’s nest just as Sunset planned. Sunset was long gone by the time the bees hit the ground, leaving Spitfire to take the blame.

The sunny unicorn chuckled when she heard Spitfire’s terrified screams. She imagined the older mare would be running her flank off about now…but she didn’t think Spitfire would keep running the course. Sunset was left bewildered as Spitfire zoomed by like a speeding bullet with a swarm of angry bees on her tail. That backfired quickly, Sunset thought.

Spitfire kept running through the woods until she had the sense to dive into one of the hundreds of bushes literally everywhere. The bees showed little in the ways of intelligence as they somehow lost Spitfire, even though they literally just saw her jump in the shrubbery, and moved on without a clue.

Spitfire emerged from the bush, feeling quite proud of herself, when she noticed the signpost standing next to her. It was in the middle of a fork in the road and the sign pointed right to guide the racers. That gave Spitfire a wicked idea.

In a very cartoonish fashion, Spitfire flipped the arrow around to point in the opposite direction (really, the only pony to blame here is the one that made the shoddy sign.) Spitfire ducked back in the bush as Sunset came around the bend. The sunny unicorn took one look at the sign and took a sharp left up down the rocky, tree-less path without a second thought.

Spitfire emerged from the shrub, laughing her flank off at how easily she duped her sister. She slapped the sign in her laughter without thinking, unwittingly switching the arrow back to the correct path. The Wonderbolt captain was too busy laughing herself in hysterics that she didn’t notice all the other racers stampeding past her. She settled down after a few more minute, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“Oh, that was too good,” said Spitfire, jogging down the path at a carefree pace. “I’ve got this race in the bag.”





Meanwhile, Sunset sprinted farther and farther up the craggy pathway, never noticing the lack of foliage until she hit the peak of a steep cliff. The sunny unicorn panted, looking around wildly. She couldn’t understand it. Why did the path suddenly – 

“Sunset Shimmer?” The mare looked up as Apple Bloom and Spike’s balloon floated down to her level. “What’re y'all doin’ up 'ere.”

“There aren’t even any trees,” Spike remarked, looking at her strangely.

“Er, no, but the sign's pointed this way...,” Sunset paused, realization slowly washing over her. She let out an angry neigh and stomped her hoof. “Spitfire…. You two mind giving me a lift?”





Spitfire was prancing the entire course brimming with confidence of her inevitable victory, never realizing that everypony else had already passed her.

That was until Apple Bloom and Spike’s balloon floated by with Sunset dangling off a rope, taunting her sister with a friendly wave.

“What the hay?!” shouted Spitfire, flabbergasted. “You said no flying!”

“No, I said no wings,” said Sunset smugly. She let go of the rope and galloped her hooves off; Spitfire immediately matched the pace. “Don’t get mad because your dirty trick didn’t work.”

“My dirty trick!” Spitfire snapped. “You’re the one who dropped a bee’s nest at me!”

“Only because you whacked me in the face with a tree branch!” yelled Sunset.

“Only because you tripped me!”

“You tripped me first!”

“Ah must say, Spike, this has ta be the most interesting Runnin’ of the Leave in Equestrian history,” Apple Bloom commented as the Sunfire Sisters made their way through the maple syrup farm.

“I have to agree with you, Apple Bloom,” said Spike, shaking his head as he watched Sunset kicked one of the maple tree buckets, spreading syrup all over the path. “But it isn’t the running that’s been so interesting. It’s the lack of running. You would think they’d be more focused on winning the race than tripping each other up.”

“As a lil’ sister mahself, I know a thing or two about siblin’ rivalries,” Apple Bloom remarked as Spitfire got her hooves caught in the syrup trap, but cleverly used a nearby tree branch to pull herself out and launch her back up to Sunset. “Why, me and mah big sis used ta get into all sorts of fights back on the farm. Who gets the last caramel apple pie slice? Who has ta do what chores? Who has ta massage Granny Smith’s bunions? That sorta stuff.”

“So you’re saying this level of cheating and sabotage is normal for sisters?” Spike asked curiously, watching Spitfire snatch up a hoofful of mud from a passing puddle and threw it in Sunset’s eyes, causing the unicorn to dash off course into a frog pond.

“That’s right,” Apple Bloom nodded, giggling as Sunset emerged from the pond with a lilypad and a toad on her head. The unicorn threw them both back into the pond and charged after Spitfire. “Ah can’t tell ya all the times meh an’ Applejack messed with each other ta win. Like this one time ah locked Applejack in the chicken coop after she replaced mah waterin’ can with fish oil, attractin’ all the local cats.”

“Makes me glad I’m an only dragon…,” Spike muttered.

“Well, that’s fer another time, because we’re headin’ into the home stretch!” shouted Apple Bloom, keeping a close eye on the Sunfire Sisters running alongside each other. “Sunset Shimmer and Spitfire are neck and neck, jockeying fer position. Sunset inches ahead, now it's Spitfire, it's Sunset, it's Spitfire, it's Sunset – Ooh, ah think ah’m getting’ motion sick….”

The Sunfire Sisters saw the finish line just up ahead. The crowd was roaring, horns were blaring, confetti flying everywhere. Suddenly, Spitfire bumped her flank into Sunset.

“Oh no, she di-int!” said Spike.

Sunset glared and bumped back.

“Oh yes, she di-id!” Apple Bloom continued.

“Knock it off!” Sunset snapped as Spitfire bumped back.

“No, you knock it off!” Spitfire sneered as Sunset bumped her again.

“You started it!” shouted Sunset.

“And now I’m gonna finish it!” Spitfire claimed, steadily inching ahead of her sister.

“Not while I’m still standing!” Sunset growled.

Sunset had pulled a lot of dirty, underhanded tricks in this race, but grabbed her sister by the tail and pulling her back was about the lowest she could go. Spitfire certainly thought so. The Wonderbolt captain bit into her rope bindings, releasing her wings, and glided off the ground, shouting, “That's it! All bets are off!”

“I couldn’t agree more!” Sunset yelled. She pried the ring from her horn and used her magic to summon her ethereal wings, flying alongside Spitfire.

Everypony was watching in shock and awe. Undoubtedly, they had never seen such unsportspony-like conduct in the history of the Running of the Leaves. The sisters pushed and shoved against one another in the air, vying for even the smallest lead as they approached the finish line.

“It’s Sunset! It’s Spitfire! It’s Sunset! It’s Spitfire!” Apple Bloom screamed enthusiastically, punching the balloon basket with each declaration.

Finally – thank Luna, finally – the sisters crossed the finish line, but they came in so fast that they couldn’t stop themselves and crashed into the ground, leaving a pair of trenches in the dirt. Spitfire rose from her mound first, aching all over, followed by Sunset. She took a good look at the scenery before realizing that the finish line was behind them.

“I won!” shouted Spitfire jubilantly.

“No, I won!” Sunset snapped.

“I won!” Spitfire countered.

“You tied,” Spike reported from the balloon.

“Tied?!” yelped Spitfire, bewildered.

“For first?” asked Sunset.

“For last.” Sunset and Spitfire turned around looking surprised. Princess Luna approached the feuding sisters with their entourage of friends, the Ponyville ponies bowing respectfully as they walked. “Not that anypony is surprised the way you two were acting.”

“What do you mean?” asked Sunset, frowning.

“You two were so busying tripping each other up, you lost track of the race,” Twilight explained.

“And that let all the other racers pass without either of you realizing it,” Twinkleshine continued.

“Yeeeah, I guess that makes sense,” said Spitfire, scratching her mane uncomfortably. “Our behaviors sucked big time.”

“We weren’t very good sports, were we?” Sunset mumbled shamefully.

“No, you weren’t, but I can understand where you’re coming from,” said Luna, sharing a knowing grin with Celestia. “It’s natural for sisters to feud over the pettiest reasons – “

“Our feud almost destroyed all of Equestria – twice,” Celestia reminded them, giggling.

“The important thing to remember,” Luna continued, “is at the end of the day, you still love each other. And sisters should always be more important than petty arguments.”

“Heh, she’s right,” said Spitfire, smiling softly. “You annoy me as all heck with your know-it-all attitude, but I still love ya, baby sis.”

“And I love you, too,” said Sunset. “Even if you are a pompous, muscle-headed jock.”

“Aw, that does it, come’ere, you!” said Spitfire, playfully pulling her sister into a headlock, which Sunset laughed to.

“I’m pleased to see you worked it out,” said Luna. “Now, unfortunately, because the two of you were busy tricking each other instead of shaking down leaves, many of the lovely trees around Ponyville are still covered.”

“Well, between your student and the captain of the Wonderbolts,” said Sunset, grinning, “I bet we could knock those leaves down in no time. Whaddya say, sis?” she asked Spitfire. “Wanna go for another run?”

“I could stretch my legs a little,” said Spitfire, stretching her hoof in emphasis.

Sunset and Spitfire took off down the track again, this time running side-by-side, laughing all the way as the autumn leaves they shook fell around them.
> The Agent Who Loved Me
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Manehatten – the Big Orange. If you could make it here, you could make it anywhere. (Except New Jockey; nobody liked New Jockey.)

From the towering skyscrapers to the colorful (and rude) ponies on the streets, Manehatten was always a hub of freshness and excitement. You could visit the famous Crystaller Building, or see the sights at the Statue of Neighberty, or catch a show on Bridleway. Or, if you were feeling really adventurous, you could visit the oddly-shaped building of….


🎵Hoofenshmirtz Villainous Enterprises🎵


BOOM!!!

Inside the unnecessarily cluttered and unorganized laboratory at the top of the skyscraper, Bon Bon skillfully backflipped away from the flow of globby green goop that had been aimed at her. Only she wasn’t Bon Bon. For when she donned her fabulous secret agent sunglasses, she was Agent Sweetie Drops, secret protector of Equestria.

She landed securely on her hindlegs, her hoofs ready to unleash their deadly kung-fu skills against her archenemy, Dr. Hoofenshmirtz. The stallion was rather on the scrawny side of things, and he had an abnormally long and pointed snout, and he always wore a pharmacist’s coat for some reason, but he was not to be underestimated! Especially when he was sitting on a giant squirt gun with containers full of globby green goop.

“I have you now, Agent Sweetie Drops!” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz declared dramatically. “Nothing will stop me from using my Goop-erator from taking control of the entire…one city area!”

“You know, it’s always weird how you say it like that,” Bon – I mean, Agent Sweetie Drops commented casually. “I mean, wouldn’t it make more sense just to say, ‘taking control of the entire city!’ or something like that.”

“You know, I never thought about that,” said Dr. Hoofenshmirtz, touching his muzzle curiously. “It’s like there’s some higher force compelling me to act in such an unusual manner. As if we are nothing more than fictitious characters bending to the will of someone else’s control….”

While Hoofenshmirtz was lost in his potential existential crisis, Agent Sweetie Drops took advantage of his distraction.

She noticed a wrench that was just lying on the floor next to her hoof, so she kicked it in the air and bucked it across the room. It flew towards Dr. Hoofenshmirtz’s head; the stallion pharmacist only noticed when he asked Agent Sweetie Drops about the possibility of alternate realities. He quickly ducked his head, narrowly dodging the wrench, then stood back up and pointed his hoof at the agent.

“A-ha! You missed!” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz shouted triumphantly.

What he failed to notice was the wrench flying into one of the machines and slamming a big red button labelled “Do Not Touch.”

“Goop-erator will now self-destruct in ten…nine…eight…,” a digitized voice announced while displaying a countdown on the giant monitor next to the button.

“…Why do I keep installing self-destruct buttons on my erators?” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz asked himself, not even trying to run or stop the countdown. “You’d think I would learn by now.”

Agent Sweetie Drops quickly dashed outside to the tower balcony and stood on the railing overlooking a perilous hundred-foot drop. She reached behind her flank and pulled out a grapnel gun from Luna know where. She fired it to the roof on the opposite built, successfully hooking it, and jumped off. As she swung away in a heroic fashion, she could hear Dr. Hoofenshmirtz screaming her name, “Curse you, Agent Sweetie Drops!” before his building exploded for the hundredth time.





“ – that’s when I grappled across the rooftops, the building exploding behind me like a bad donkey. It was awesome.”

“Yes, yes, that’s nice. Can you grab the hoof sanitizer now?”

It was the next day after Agent Sweetie Drops’ – or as she is now called, Bon Bon – latest epic mission against he forces of evil. (Okay, maybe less “evil” and more “annoying.”) She was regaling her adventure to Octavia as they strolled through the cleaning aisle of the Canterlot supermarket. Blossomforth, Vinyl, and Spitfire were around somewhere, but they lost track of them less than twenty minutes ago. As for why five ponies with differentiating personalities would be shopping at the supermarket together…. Well, your guess is as good as mine.

Bon Bon tossed the hoof sanitizer in the cart, complaining, “C’mon, you’re not even paying attention. This is epic stuff worthy of a cartoon series. You gotta be a little impressed.”

“Aren’t your ‘adventures’ supposed to be top secret?” Octavia retorted, now inspecting her shopping list. “Do you think it’s wise to be saying them out in the open like this?”

“Eh, it’s fine,” said Bon Bon, waving her hoof flippantly. “As long as you don’t tell anypony I’m a secret agent – “

“You’re a secret agent!” Starlight Glimmer gasped shockingly, appeared around the corner levitating a jar of horn polish.

Bon Bon groaned exasperatedly, facehoofing herself. To be perfectly honest, this wasn’t the first time Starlight accidentally found out Bon Bon’s secret. With a well-practiced motion, Bon Bon reached behind her flank and pulled on a pair of sunglasses over her eyes. She then whipped out an ornate silver mirror and held it up to the unicorn’s face. Starlight stared at her reflection dumbfoundedly until it emitted a blinding flash. The Element of Generosity blinked cluelessly, staring off into space like her brain had been shut down; there was a little bit of drool dripping down her open muzzle.

Bon Bon casually put away her items and proceeded down the aisle with Octavia like nothing happened.

“Aren’t you worried you’re going to fry her brain one of these days?” Octavia asked.

“If it hasn’t happened the first two dozen times, it’s not gonna happen now,” said Bon Bon nonchalantly.

“You could avoid brainwiping her altogether if you stopped talking about your…adventures all the time? said Octavia pointedly as they strolled down the confectionary aisle. “Don’t you have other thing you like to talk about?”

“Well, there was this one-time Princess Luna sent me to infiltrate a secret terrorist organization in Shanghay – “

“Other than secret agent stuff!” Octavia hissed urgently, looking around for eavesdroppers.

“What else is there to talk about?” Bon Bon asked hopelessly.

“I don’t know,” said Octavia exasperatedly. “Wh…What about hobbies? You have any hobbies you like to do – that don’t involve secret agent stuff!” She emphasized as Bon Bon opened her mouth, only to shut it again. “Any movies you’ve seen? Any books you read? Ooh, any ponies you’re interested in?”

“Interested in?” Bon Bon repeated with a quirked brow. “You mean, like dating? Not interested in that mushy stuff. Too busy being the most awesome pony in all of Equestria. Wa-a-a-ay better than that speed junky in Cloudsdale.”

“Maybe you just haven’t met the right pony yet,” said Octavia with a knowing smile. “I remember when I first met Vinyl. It was four years ago and I was just fresh out of Manehatten Musical Academy. Of course, back then, it was hard for a celloist to get a job in Manehatten since everypony was more in headbanging and ‘vibing’ whatever that means. One day, someone hired me by accident thinking I was a synth player and ended up on stage with Vinyl, who was just starting out herself. It was looking like a disaster at first, but we somehow managed to combine our differences and create something unique…special for us. And then, well, the rest is history. So you see, Bon Bon, the trick is – hey, where’d you go?” Octavia paused, realizing Bon Bon wasn’t next to her.

“I got bored!” Bon Bon called from down the aisle, searching the shelves. Octavia puffed out her cheeks, pouting. “Its nice that worked out for you, Tavi, but its different for me. I’ve been trained to be an agent for the princess’s special forces since I was a foal. I am one hundred percent focused on my job. That’s not gonna change just because I meet a pretty mare.” Just then, something caught her eye on the top shelf. “Ooh, Coconut Log!”

“Aren’t you allergic to coconuts?” asked Octavia, quirking a brow.

“Yes, but they’re so-o-o-o good,” said Bon Bon, earning a sigh from Octavia. She reached up for her desired (and potentially lethal) snack when somepony else reached for it at the same time. They bumped hooves and quickly pulled back. “Whoops! Sorry, I didn’t see you….”

You know those scenes in cheesy romance movies where the background turns fuzzy pink, saxophone music is playing, and everything moved in slow motion. That’s what it was like when Bon Bon turned around to face that most striking mare she had ever laid eyes on. Her golden-orange eyes meeting Bon Bon’s baby-blues, her lightly colored mane swishing around her mane as she turned her head slowly. Bon Bon suddenly realized that she had stopped breathing for a moment with a feeling like something had been lodged in her throat. What was this sensation, she asked herself? Was this….

“Blossomforth, stop messing with those mood lights!” Octavia’s vocals cut through Bon Bon’s daze like a wagon crash. “Vinyl, stop playing around with that saxophone! And Spitfire, don’t you dare touch that slow motion machine again!”

“Fi-i-i-ine,” a chorus of childish whines responded.

Everything suddenly went back to normal by the time Bon Bon blinked, except for the feeling that her heart was abound to jump out of her chest. That was still going strong as the light-colored unicorn tilted her head with the most adorable smile. If they could weaponize that smile, Bon Bon though, they could defeat all their enemies in a heartbeat.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t see you there,” said the unicorn. Even her voice sounded like a chorus of angels, Bon Bon thought. “You like Coconut Logs, too, huh? I’m allergic to them, but they’re so-o-o-o good. You know what I mean?”

“…You’re pretty,” Bon Bon mumbled dimly. It took a second for her brain to reboot and the candy-coated Earth Pony sharply snapped her hoof to her muzzle, eyes bulging horrifically. “I didn’t just say that out loud, did I?”

“You did,” said the unicorn with a teasing grin. “But for the record, you’re not too bad yourself.” She held out her hoof. “I’m Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings.”

“Age – I mean, Bon Bon,” Bon Bon corrected herself quickly. Why was her brain turning to mush around this mare? “And this is my friend, Octavia. The children in the background are Spitfire, Blossomforth, and DJ Pon-3.”

“HEY!” Spitfire and Blossomforth shouted indignantly. Vinyl shrugged nonchalantly and wandered off somewhere toward the music department.

“A pleasure,” Octavia said politely, shaking hooves with Lyra. “Say, aren’t you one of Princess Celestia’s friends?”

“And you’re Princess Luna’s friends,” Lyra noted. “Small kingdom, huh? I was just shopping for the surprise party we’re throwing for Princess Celestia with my friends…who I have completely lost track of,” she mumbled that last part, looking around uncertainly. “What’re you guys doing?”

“Honestly…I completely forgot,” Octavia admitted. “We just started piling up random things at this point.”

“I know that feeling,” Lyra laughed. Bon Bon was absolutely mesmerized by the unicorn, grinning like a big dope. Something that Octavia was quick to catch up on.

“Say, Lyra, is that party you’re having for Princess Celestia happening today?” asked Octavia, grinning impishly.

“No, it’s next week,” said Lyra. “Lemon Hearts is very meticulous about party planning. She’s almost as neurotic as Twilight. I’m totally free today.”

“Wow, what a coincidence,” said Octavia with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. She bumped Bon Bon’s flank, pushing the mare closer to Lyra. “Because it just so happens that Bon Bon here is totally free today as well.”

“WHAT?!” Bon Bon yelped like a frightened puppy. The Earth Pony broke out in a nervous sweat as Lyra leaned in closer with a playful smile on her lips.

“Is that right?” she said teasingly, giggling at the mare’s obvious panic.

“Buh…,” Bon Bon mumbled dimly.

“Since you’re both not doing anything today,” Octavia immediately jumped in, “maybe you could both do something together. Like, oh, I don’t know…maybe go out for nice lunch.”

“Huh?” Bon Bon stuttered, snapping at the musical mare with bulging eyes.

“And then a casual stroll through the park to get to know each other,” Octavia continued.

“Wha – “

“And no da – I mean, friendly outing would be complete without a little window shopping,” Octavia concluded proudly.

“Now hold on – “

“Ooh, that sounds wonderful!” Lyra exclaimed cheerfully, clapping her hooves. Any retorts died in Bon Bon’s throat as the candy-coated mare smiled serenely. “I know a lot of great shops around Canterlot that you will totally love, Bon Bon. Let’s meet up later at Cinnamon Chai’s Cake and Tea Shop. Say…around noonish?”

“Uh…,”Bon Bon mumbled dimwittedly. Octavia sighed exasperatedly and smacked her over the head. “Yeah! Yeah, okay, noonish! I can totally do noonish!”

“Great, it’s a date!” Lyra said brightly, nearly make Bon Bon’s heart stop. “We should meet up by – “

“There you are!” The mares looked down the aisle as Lemon Hearts came running to beside Lyra. “We need your help. Minuette got her head stuck in the gumball machine.”

“Again?!” Lyra yelped astonishingly.  “That’s the eight time! How does she even fit her head in that tiny slot?!”

“It’s Minuette,” said Lemon Hearts like it explained everything.

“Ugh, all right,” Lyra groaned. She waved back at Bon Bon, smiling. “See you at noonish.”

“Right, noonish,” Bon Bon parroted, her face plastered with that dopey grin. Once Lyra and Lemon Hearts left the aisle, however, she quickly rounded on Octavia and hissed, “What in the name of Luna was that?!”

“That was me being a good wingmare,” said Octavia proudly. “Now you got yourself a date with a pretty pony.”

“I can’t go on a date with her!” Bon Bon cried, running her hooves down her face, stretching it cartoonishly. “I literally just met her five minutes ago!”

“Relax, she’s not expecting some big romantic gesture or something,” said Octavia calmly, clapping her hoof soothingly on Bon Bon’s shoulder. “This outing is just a chance for you two to get to know each other, that’s all. The first time Vinyl invited me out, we just went rolling skating through Canter Park. We were both terrible at it, but we had fun. So there’s no real need to impress her.”

“I guess that’s kind of a relief,” said Bon Bon thoughtfully.

“Trust me, just one piece of advice and you’ll do fine,” said Octavia.

“Be myself?” suggested Bon Bon.

“What? No! That’s terrible advice!” said Octavia, aghast. “I was going to say, whatever you do, don’t bring up any of that secret agent stuff!”

“Please, Tavi, I think I’m a little more careful about keeping my job secret – “ Bon Bon began when she was cut off by an incessant beeping noise.

The candy-coated mare reached behind her and whipped out her mirror, which was flashing words in bright red Letters: SECRET AGENT EMERGENCY! Bon Bon’s entire persona immediately shifted into serious mode as she searched the aisle for watchers before donning her awesome hardcore sunglasses. She reached up to random shelf and pulled a can of candied beets, which was actually a secret lever that revealed a hidden tunnel entrance at Bon Bon and Octavia’s hooves. The secret agent mare performed an unnecessary front flip and dived into the hole, which promptly sealed itself behind her.

“…Realistically, there’s no way that hole would just happen to be there,” Octavia commented.

Bon Bon – or rather, Agent Sweetie Drops – slid through a labyrinth of tubes, loop-de-loops, and a toll booth that only took exact change. She landed safely in a chair behind a control panel with hundreds of colorful, flashing buttons and a large silver mirror hanging on the wall in front of her. And who should appear in the mirror that the Princess of Equestria, Luna.

“Good morning, Agent Sweetie Drops,” Luna greeted with a stern look. “Dr. Hoofenshmirtz is up to his old tricks again. We just received this letter from him detailing when he will unveil his next evil plot.” She held said letter up into view. “Why he would send a letter telling us about his evil plot or how he got this address remains unknown. The point is, he’s up to no good and needs to be stopped.”

You can count on me, princess,” said Agent Sweetie Drops, saluting her. “I have not failed a mission yet.”

“And that’s why I trust you to get this done,” said Luna. “Get to Manehatten and stop Hoofenshmirtz at around noonish.”

“You got – wait, noonish?” Agent Sweetie Drops stammered.

“Yes, that’s what the lets says,” answered Luna, quirking her brow curiously. “He’ll be unveiling his next sinister plot around noonish.”

“Um…is there any way we could move the evil plot reveal to sometime later in the day?” asked Agent Sweetie Drop hopefully.

“Well, that would be incredibly rude,” Luna remarked. “I mean, the stallion went out of his way to send you and invitation. And with the good stationary, too. Why? Did you have something else planned?”

“Well…,” said Agent Sweetie Drops slowly, tapping her hooves.

Just then, they could the delightful tone of Princess Celestia shouting out of view, “Luna! Luna! The most incredible thing just happened!”

“Sister, I’m in the middle of a meeting with Agent Sweetie Drops!” Luna called off to the side. “Carl, you’re supposed to keep ponies out of the secret meeting room!”

“Sorry, ma’am,” a nasally voice apologized.

“You’re talking to Bon Bon?” Princess Celestia slipped into view, nudging her way into Luna’s space, to the midnight mare’s annoyance. “Hey, Bon Bon! I just heard the good news! You and Lyra are going out on a date! You two make such a cute couple.”

“Well, I don’t know about that,” said Agent Sweetie Drops, scratching her cheek sheepishly. “Wait, how did you know that? It literally just happened two minutes ago.”

“Minuette ran all the way to the castle to share the good news the moment she found out,” Celestia answered delightfully. “Though she was with a bouncy pink pony with a poofy mane when she showed up.”

“What’s this about a date?” Luna asked her sister suspiciously. Agent Sweetie Drops made a series of subtly gestures to Princess Celestia to keep the muzzle shut, but they went completely over the sun goddess’s head.

“Bon Bon here just asked my good friend Lyra out on a delightful evening together starting around noonish,” Celestia answered positively. Agent Sweetie Drops smacked her forehead on the desk, regretting coming in to work this morning.

“Noonish, huh?” Luna parroted, narrowing her eyes suspiciously on her operative. “Well, I’m sorry, Agent Sweetie Drops, but I’m afraid you’re going to have to cancel your plans.”

“What?! No?!” Celestia gasped horrifically.

“But your majesty!” Agent Sweetie Drops cried desperately.

“You took an oath to defend Equestria, Agent Sweetie Drops,” Luna reminded the mare sternly. “That means that safety and security of the kingdom ahead of your personal desires.”

“But, Luna, this could be Lyra and Bon Bon’s one chance at true love,” said Celestia mournfully.

“Aren’t you getting a little ahead of yourself?” Luna marked, leaning away from older sister with a strange stare. “It’s only the first date. Just make up some excuse and I’m sure she’ll be fine. I mean, it’s not like Agent Sweetie Drops can go out with Lyra and stop Dr. Hoofenshmirtz’s evil plan at the same time. Right, Agent Sweetie Drops?” But when she looked back at her operative, the candy-coated mare sat unusually still with a thousand-yard stare. “Er…Agent Sweetie Drops.”

Slowly, almost cautiously so, Agent Sweetie Drops, pressed one of the buttons on the control panel. Princesses Luna and Celestia stared bewildered as the curly-maned mare’s chair rose up to the ceiling and disappeared through a secret hatch.

“…This can only end badly,” Luna commented.





To say that Bon Bon was anxious was a severe understatement. Her eyes flew back and forth as she walked down the busy Manehatten sidewalk like she was afraid Princess Luna would suddenly pop out of a dark alley and scold her. But her fears of the princess were nothing compared to apprehension of the pretty mare trotting beside her. Lyra was clueless to the mare’s trepidations, too busy taking it the sights of the gargantuan skyscrapers and colorful electronic signs that were everywhere.

“This – is – awesome!” Lyra squealed in delight. “Already the best first date I’ve ever had!”

“Yeah, Manehattern is pretty nice, though I prefer the quiet of Canterlot,” said Bon Bon, right as two taxi ponies started yelling over a parking spot across the street. “Again, I’m really sorry I had to drag you along, but my…co-worker needed me to help with a…project at the last minute. They asked after we agreed to meet later.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it, I completely understand,” said Lyra empathetically. “My co-workers at the music store are the same way. But, hey, you’re make time for us and I’ve always wanted to visit the big orange. What should we do first?”

“Well, we started this whole thing agreeing to get lunch together,” said Bon Bon, taking Lyra by the hoof. “Tavi and Vinyl recommended this one they used to go to when they lived in the city. This way…”

Lyra giggled at Bon Bon’s enthusiasm and allowed herself to be dragged down the road.

The place that the married musical couple had recommended was a prestigious little open-aired restaurant called the Cantering Cook. Though nothing as fancy as places seen on Canterlot’s Restaurant Row, it seemed to have drummed up enough business that a pony needed to get a reservation weeks in advance. Fortunately, Bon Bon was friends with Vinyl, who used to be a regular at the restaurant with her wife, and was seated right away, much to the annoyance of the ponies who had already been waiting for hours.

They were seated near the back where they had a magnificent view of the Manehatten skyline, which, Bon Bon immediately noticed, included a certain pharmacist’s evil headquarters. Bon Bon was staring at the distant building with suspicion as they were given their menus and Lyra started perusing the many options.

“Hmm, surprisingly casual selection,” Lyra commented. “What’re you gonna have, Bon?” When the mare didn’t respond, she looked over her menu. “…Bon Bon?”

“Huh?” said Bon Bon distractedly, looking back at her partner.

“You okay, Bon?” asked Lyra.

“Oh, yeah, I – I’m fine,” Bon Bon stammered, standing up. “Listen, I gotta check in with my er…co-worker for a bit. But could you order me a BLT and a lemonade while I’m out?”

“One bread, lettuce and tomato sandwich and a lemonade; got it,” Lyra replied with a playful salute.

Thanks, I’ll be back in two shakes of a pony’s tail,” Bon Bon promised.

While Lyra went back to her menu, Bon Bon crossed the restaurant towards the bathrooms. Once she was out of Lyra’s sights, she flattened herself again the wall, spy music suddenly playing over the PA system. Strange choice for a fancy restaurant, Bon Bon thought, but no matter. She whipped out her grapnel gun, shot it at the neighboring rooftop and swing her way across the Manehatten skyline toward – 






🎵Hoofenshmirtz Villainous Enterprises🎵


The evil pharmacist, Dr. Hoofenshmirtz, placed back and forth impatiently through his nefarious lair, constantly looking at the clock on the wall. It was ten after noon.

“Where is that Agent Sweetie Drops?” he asked out loud. “I swear I told her to be here at noonish. Did she not get my letter? That’s the last time I send mail through cross-eyed pegasus ponies eating muffins in a dirty back alley.” Just then, a knock came from the door. “Well, it’s about time.”

The pharmacist stallion trotted over to the front door and pulled it open, revealing Bon Bon standing on the other side.

“Who’re you?” asked Dr. Hoofenshmirtz.

“Hi, I’m going door-to-door selling candy,” Bon Bon said in a bright and cheery tone. “Wanna buy some.”

“No, thanks, I don’t have much of a sweet tooth,” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz rejected.

“I have Coconut Logs,” Bon Bon tempted.

“Ooh, I love Coconut Logs!” said Dr. Hoofenshmirtz, clapping his hooves excitedly. “I’m actually allergic to coconuts, but they’re so-o-o-o good. Wait here; I’ll go get my wallet.”

Dr. Hoofenshmirtz walked away to retrieve his bits, leaving the door open for Bon Bon. The candy-coated mare casually stepped inside before whipping out her nifty sunglasses and kicked the door shut with her back hoof. The loud banging noise caused Dr. Hoofenshmirtz to spin around and gasped when he noticed the secret agent.

“Agent Sweetie Drops!” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz shouted. “How did you get into my lair? And did you see a pony selling candy that looked exactly like you, but without the nifty sunglasses?”

“Sorry, Hoofenshmirtz, the only candy you’ll be getting is sweet justice,” said Agent Sweetie Drops dramatically. “Hey, that’s actually good. I should write that down.”

“Oh, Agent Sweetie Drops, you are so unpredictable,” said Dr. Hoofenshmirtz casually. “And by that, I mean COMPLETELY PREDICTABLE!”

Quick as a flash, Dr. Hoofenshmirtz pulled a random lever, which released a pony-sized cage that slammed down from the ceiling…three hooves to Agent Sweetie Drops’ left. There was a moment of awkward pause; Dr. Hoofenshmirtz tapped his hooves, chuckling nervously.

“Uh, Agent Drops, would you mind if…,” he asked uncertainly.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sure,” said Agent Sweetie Drops.

As casual as can be, Agent Sweetie Drops opened the cage door, walked inside, and closed the door behind her.

“Ah-ha! I’ve got you now, Agent Sweetie Drops!” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz shouted triumphantly. “Now that I have you trapped – after you arrived late; very rude, by the way – I will now reveal my new diabolical plan! Behold!” He pressed a button and the floor opened up to reveal…the same giant squirt gun from yesterday, only filled with what looked like soapy water. “My Suds-erator!”

“…Did break that last time I was here?” asked Agent Sweetie Drops.

“No, you broke the Goop-erator,” said Dr. Hoofenshmirtz. “This is the Suds-erator.”

“But isn’t that the same – “

“It is not the same thing!” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz snapped.

“But it even has the same design,” Agent Sweetie Drops pointed out.

“No, it’s completely different!” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz argued. But after a few seconds of awkward silence, the pharmacist stallion grabbed a yellow paintbrush from somewhere and draw a stripe on the side. “See? This one has a yellow stripe. The Goop-erator didn’t have a yellow stripe.”

“If you say so,” Agent Sweetie Drops, rolling her eyes under her sunglasses.

“I bet you’re wondering what my nefarious plan is,” said Dr. Hoofenshmirtz excitedly. Agent Sweetie Drops groaned as he dragged in the slide projector, already telling her it was going to be a long-winded explanation. “And I will gladly tell you the details in this power point presentation I prepared for the occasion.” He turned on the slide projector “Now, I will turn my flank to you, completely ignorant to everything you are doing, and explain my fiendish plot for the next twenty minutes. The Suds-erator – “

Agent Sweetie Drops stopped paying attention after that. She knew Hoofenshmirtz enough to know that he was too hyper focused on his presentation to notice anything around him. Agent Sweetie Drops nonchalantly steps out of the cage, quietly closing the door behind her, and makes a quick exit out the front door – 





- as Lyra was slurping down the last noodle of her veggie pasta loudly, to the unseen irritation of the pony at the next table over. She looked around the restaurant curiously. Bon Bon had been gone for almost twenty minutes; her BLT and lemonade was untouched. The minty mare understood that Bon Bon was in town on business, but she was hoping she would’ve wrapped it up by now – 

That’s when Lyra heard a suddenly whooshing noise and looked forward. Bon Bon was in her seat again, delicately wiping her muzzle with a napkin; the plate and glass in front of her suddenly empty.

“Mmm, that is some good eats,” said Bon Bon, a little overly theatrical. “I have to remember to thank Tavi for recommending this place.”

“When did you get back?” asked Lyra curiously.

“A little while ago,” said Bon Bon, casually leaning on the table. “You just didn’t see me because you were too busy looking everywhere else.”

“I guess that makes sense,” said Lyra thoughtfully. “So did you finish up your business?”

“For now,” Bon Bon admitted sheepishly, touching her hooves. “Truth is, I’m supposed to be in a meeting right now, but my um…co-worker can be very longwinded. Nopony will notice if I step out for a while.”

“Ooh, a bad mare; I like that,” said Lyra, giggling amusingly. “We had our lunch, so what’s next on the agenda?”

“Tavi not-so-subtly suggested a stroll through the park,” said Bon Bon. “And since we’re in Manehatten, why don’t we take a little walk around Canter Park?”

“Aren’t a smooth little pony?” said Lyra teasingly, rising from her chair. “All right, let’s go.”

They left the restaurant (then galloped back when Bon Bon remembered they forgot to pay the check) and walked six blocks to reach Canter Park.

Canter Park was one of the few things that Manehatten had over Canterlot, Bon Bon will admit. While Canterlot had its fair share of parks, they were hardly used for recreation because the rich ponies always rented them out for their daily tea parties. In Manehatten, mares and stallions of all ages could be see enjoying the beautiful day that Princess Celestia had brought them. Bon Bon watched a father and son fly kites together. A teenage couple were having a romantic swan boat ride. And the local superhero, White Diamond, was locked in an epic battle against her archenemy, Black Obsidian, in the sky above.

Yep, a perfect day for a stroll.

Bon Bon and Lyra walked along the winding sidewalk, taking in the trees with their mixtures of red, orange, and yellowing leaves. Fall was just starting in Manehatten. Soon it would have its own Running of the Leaves like Canterlot did last week and Ponyville the week before that. Bon Bon silently hoped the Sunfire Sisters wouldn’t get involved again. Even after putting their differences aside, they were still ultra-competitive during the run in Canterlot and caused a whole mess of problems.

“This is nice,” said Lyra pleasantly. “It’s times like these that make you realize you need to slow down and enjoy the little things in life. Why rush everything, you know?”

“Uh-huh,” said Bon Bon distractedly, looking at her watch. It had nearly been twenty minutes; Hoofenshmirtz would be finishing his long-winded presentation any second now. She needed to get away for a little while. “…Hey, how about a race?”

“Huh?” said Lyra, bewildered by the sudden suggestion.

“You and me, one lap around the entire park,” said Bon Bon with feign enthusiasm.

“Did you not hear what I just said?” asked Lyra, quirking her brow.

“Don’t tell me you’re sca-a-ard?” Bon Bon taunted.

“…Oh, it is so on,” said Lyra seriously. The minty pony had a competitive streak of her own, but it normally only came out when she was called a chicken or anything similar. She immediately crouched into position and said, “I hope you have room for dessert, because you’re gonna eat my dust!”

“That is so hot…,” Bon Bon muttered to herself. She crouched into position next to Lyra. “We go on three. One…two…three!”

Lyra took off like a pegasus. Bon Bon ran a few paces before intentionally slowing down and stopping once she was out of Lyra’s visual range. She then took shelter underneath the shade of a tree and slipped on her nifty sunglasses. Then, after making sure the coast was clear, launched her grapnel into the air and was zipped away to –






🎵Hoofenshmirtz Villainous Enterprises🎵


Agent Sweetie Drops cautiously poked her head in through the front door. Dr. Hoofenshmirtz was still babbling on about his latest evil invention that he somehow didn’t notice she had been gone during the whole thing. So Agent Sweetie Drops quietly closed the door, tiptoed across the room, and slipped inside the cage without making a sound. The secret agent wiped her brow in relief as the evil pharmacist reached the end of his presentation.

“ – take control of the entire ONE CITY AREA!” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz declared maniacally. He turned off the projector and turned back to Agent Sweetie Drops with a hopeful look. “So, what did you think?”

“Er…it was really good?” said Agent Sweetie Drops hesitantly.

“Are you sure?” asked Dr. Hoofenshmirtz. “I know I say this a lot, but I think this might be my greatest erator so far. Though I’d like to get your opinion on it.”

“It’s fine,” said Agent Sweetie Drops.

“No need to hold back,” said Dr. Hoofenshmirtz. “Constructive criticism is the cornerstone of improvement.”

“I really think you did a good job,” replied Agent Sweetie Drops.

“Aw, thank you!” said Dr. Hoofenshmirtz cheerfully. “Whelp, nothing left to do but begin my diabolical plan.”

The pharmacist stallion started to climb his latest erator, though he misplaced his hoof twice and ended up falling on the ground. He managed to reach the seat by the third try. He started flipping a bunch of switches and levers on his device, turning the -erator on with a loud whirling noise. The giant water gun came to life and turned toward the open window, which Agent Sweetie Drops might have been a faster coming back than taking the elevator.

“Where shall I use my Suds-erator first?” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz asked himself. “How about Canter Park? All those happy, smiling ponies with their playing and frolicking and perfectly manicured hooves. They shall be the first to feel the wrath of my Suds-erator!”

Okay, that’s bad, Agent Sweetie Drops thought. Lyra was in Canter Park, still thinking she was racing Bon Bon. Agent Sweetie Drops could just walk out of the cage and hit the self-destruct button, but she wouldn’t because that would be the smart thing to do. So instead….

“Wait!” Agent Sweetie Drops called out to Dr. Hoofenshmirtz as the Suds-erator began charging. “What about the convoluted backstory? You can’t commit a nefarious plot without a convoluted backstory.”

Dr. Hoofenshmirtz blinked at Agent Sweetie Drops momentarily, then facehoofed himself.

“Dah! I completely forgot the convoluted backstory!” shouted Dr. Hoofenshmirtz, hitting himself repeatedly. He shut down the Suds-erator without a second thought. “That almost turned into a disaster. Thanks for keeping me on my hooves, Agent Sweetie Drops. You are so dependable.”

“I try,” said Agent Sweetie Drops, shrugging nonchalantly.

“Nowi will turn my flank to you,” said Dr. Hoofenshmirtz, doing just that, “completely unaware of what you are doing, as I tell you another tragic tale of my miserable foalhood. It all started when I was a colt – “

That worked out about as well as she expected, Agent Sweetie Drops thought. Once again, the candy-coated mare casually slipped out of her cage. And while the evil pharmacist was lost reminiscing about yet about tragic memory of his terrible foalhood (seriously, some of them are messed up!), Agent Sweetie Drops walked out the front door – 





- wheezing when she arrived at the spot where she left Lyra.

Just her luck that her grapnel gun would jam right outside Hoofenshmirtz’s building. She tried multiple times to hail a taxi pony, but every time they were stolen by a rude Manehatten pony that shoved her to one side. One particularly mean-spirited mare actually kicked her in the shins! Who does that?! She ended up having to run twelve city blocks to get back to Canter Park. At least she was fortunate to arrive back before Lyra finished their impromptu race.

“I sudden…have new appreciation…for Canterlot,” Agent Sweetie Drop groaned, swallowing deeply. “Ugh, I think I just had a baby barf….”

Lyra suddenly appeared on the path behind the candy-coated mare, sweating and panting but looking satisfied with herself.

“Phew, you’re really fast, Bon Bon,” Lyra complimented, wiping heer brow as she approached her date. “I didn’t even see you pass…. Who’re you?” she suddenly asked once standing in front of the mare.

Agent Sweetie drops was confused by the question at first before she realized…she forgot to take off her sunglasses! She was still in her secret agent disguise! The candy-coated mare felt a cold sweat dripping down her neck as Lyra leaned in close with a scrutinizing leer. Agent Sweetie Drops needed to think of something fast before her cover was blown!

“Er…,” Agent Sweetie Drops stammered nervously. Suddenly, she pointed her hoof behind Lyra and practically screamed, “Look! Something very interesting to distract you!”

“Something interesting?! Where?!” Lyra cried happily, spinning around. Agent Sweetie Drops swiftly removed her sunglasses, transforming back into Bon Bon before Lyra turned back around. “Oh, there you are, Bon Bon. Say, did you see a pony that looked exactly like you, but with nifty sunglasses?”

“Can’t…say that I have,” Bon Bon replied, giggling nervously. “Anyway, good race, Lyra.”

“Yeah, but I’ll get you next time,” said Lyra with a cocky grin. “Well, it wasn’t exactly a stroll through the park, but I had a pretty good time. What’ve you got up your hoof next?”

“Er, well,” Bon Bon mumbled, tapping her muzzle thoughtfully. “I think Tavi mentioned something about shopping – “

“Ooh, we should totally hit up Saddle Row!” said Lyra, enthusiastically bouncing on her hooves. “One of my co-workers visited Manehatten and he said Saddle Row is, and I quote, ‘an entire street lined with the most fashionable boutiques in all of Equestria’ or something like that.”

“I never took you for a fashionista,” said Bon Bon curiously.

“I’m not,” Lyra admitted. “I just like being able to try stuff on and not having to pay for them.”

“…dear Luna, I love you,” Bon Bon mumbled unconsciously.

“What was that?” asked Lyra, not hearing what she said.

“NOTHING!” Bon Bon yelped, spinning on her hooves and fast walking away, her face burning-red. “WELL, LET’S GET A MOVE ON! WE’RE BURNING DAYLIGHT!”

Lyra giggled behind her hoof. Bon Bon was so adorable when she was flustered.

To Bon Bon’s relief, Saddle Row was only two blocks away from Canter Park; her hooves were still sore after running from Hoofenshmirtz’s place. True to Lyra’s word, Saddle Row was a ten-block street filled with nothing but boutiques on the latest fashion trends. Bon Bon never saw the appeal in dressing up in frilly gowns or dresses you drag across the ground – most ponies didn’t even wear clothes. But she to admit that shopping with Lyra was kind of…fun.

They went from store to store, finding the most outrageous outfit they could find and daring each other to try it on. When they came out of the dressing room, they would double over in laughter and admit how stupid they looked, ignoring the evil glares from the managers. Then when it came time to leave the store, they would dump the tacky clothes on the counter, tell the clerk they weren’t buying anything, and chortle at their gobsmacked expressions. Then they went to the next shop over to do it all again.

Bon Bon and Lyra were coming out of their fifth boutique – this one specializing in Yakyakistan fashion – when Bon Bon noticed the time on a street clock and a thrill of panic crawled up her spine. It had been almost half an hour since she left Hoofenshmirtz’s place. Even his most long-winded backstory didn’t last this long! He was bound to have noticed she was gone by now!

“Er, Lyra, I need to uh…check in on my co-worker!” Bon Bon sputtered quickly. “You know, to make sure everything’s going all right. I’ll be back in a little while.”

“Are you sure?” asked Lyra hesitantly. “If you’re busy, we could always reschedule – “

“No, no, it’s perfectly fine!” said Bon Bon. “Don’t worry about it! Everything’s fine!”

“Well, if you’re sure,” said Lyra. “I’ll catch up with you later then.”

Bon Bon waited until Lyra disappeared into some shop called Rarity for You before whipping out her sunglasses, transforming into Agent Sweetie Drops. She flagged down a taxi after threating to buck his kneecaps if he even thought about ignoring her. She hopped into the cab and demanded the terrified pony to take her to –






🎵Hoofenshmirtz – 


“WE HEARD IT THE FIRST TIME!” Agent Sweetie Drops snapped at the chorus.

Agent Sweetie Drops tentatively poked her head in through the front door and looked around. Dr. Hoofenshmirtz was nowhere to be seen, the cage used to hold her had been put away, and the Suds-erator was untouched. That was not a good sign. The candy-coated many closed the door behind her and tiptoed into the room – 

“So glad you could join me, Agent Sweetie Drops.” The secret agent let out a startled yelp and jumped. She found Dr. Hoofenshmirtz sitting in a comfortable armchair, frowning with a glass of chocolate milk. Double not good.

“He-e-ey, doc,” said Agent Sweetie Drops, chuckling nervously. “Were you um – were you sitting there long?”

“Where were you?” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz questioned immediately. “I had just finished telling my traumatic backstory and you know what I find when I turn around? NOTHING!”

“Uh, yeah, um, sorry…?” said Agent Sweetie Drops, offering an awkward apologetic smile.

“I can’t believe you just walked out when I was in the middle of telling my convoluted backstory,” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz grumbled, taking a huge gulp of chocolate milk.

“In all fairness, you have a lot tragic backstories,” Agent Sweetie Drops remarked. “I mean, your life is absolutely terrible. Your stories are as depressing as they are comedic.”

“Well, excuse me, for wanting to share something with my most hated enemy,” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz huffed. “I can’t believe you just walked out on my convoluted backstory. That’s just as bad as missing my long-winded presentation.”

“Er…”

“You walked out on my presentation?!” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz yelled. “I worked on that for hours! Why?! Why would you do this, Agent Sweetie Drops?! What could possibly more important that fighting your archenemy?!”

“Well…you see…there’s this mare I’m seeing,” said Agent Sweetie Drops awkwardly. “And I‘ve been kinda hanging out with her today….”

“A mare?” gasped Dr. Hoofenshmirtz. “Agent Sweetie Drops, are you seeing another pony?”

“In all fairness, she did ask me first,” Agent Sweetie Drops said pointedly.

“But what about our thing?” said Dr. Hoofenshmirtz. “I made a diabolical plan in less than a day. I made a powerpoint presentation. I cooked a souffle just for the occasion!” he added as a timer dinged somewhere in the building. “How could you be spending time with some other pony when you’re supposed to battle your archenemy?”

“Come on, Heinrich, it’s not like we’re exclusive,” said Agent Sweetie Drops flippantly.

“You are unbelievable!” yelled Dr. Hoofenshmirtz.

“And by that, you mean completely believable?” Agent Sweetie Drops asked hopefully.

“No, I mean you’re unbelievable!” said Dr. Hoofenshmirtz grumpily, jumping out of his chair. “You know what? Forget it. Diabolical plan is cancelled. If you’re not going to make an effort to be a good archenemy, why should I?”

“Aw, don’t be that way, Heinrich,” said Agent Sweetie Drops.

“I think you should go,” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz huffed.

“But – “

“I said go!” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz snapped, pointing toward the door.

Agent Sweetie Drops opened her mouth, but then closed it when she realized she didn’t know what to say. Gloomily, she did as she was asked and dragged her hooves sadly toward the door. She glanced at her archenemy one last time before walking out – 





- and found herself at the most pretentious boutique on Saddle Row, Rarity for You, ten minutes later. Bon Bon didn’t even acknowledge the white unicorn that greeted her from the counter and dragged herself over to the dressing rooms. She slumped onto one of the benches, staring moodily at the floor, just as the curtains pulled back to her left.

Lyra walked out wearing the most outrageous dress ever seen in ponydom with its ridiculous number of frills, lace, and copious amounts of fabric being dragged on the floor. It even came with a hat that was way too big for anyone smaller than a princess. Any other time, Bon Bon would remark how tacky the whole ensemble was, but she wasn’t in the mood for colorful commentary.

“Hey, Bon Bon, check it out,” Lyra laughed, doing a little spin. “Isn’t this the tackiest thing you’ve ever seen in your life?” One of the employees had to physically restrain the owner before she jumped Lyra. When Bon Bon didn’t comment, Lyra noticed the depressed look on her date’s face. “Hey, are you okay? What happened?”

“My…co-worker found out I was spending time with you instead of helping on our…project,” said Bon Bon miserably.

Lyra suck in a breath through her teeth, wincing sympathetically.

“Oof, that’s rough,” said Lyra. She tried to take a seat on the bench next to Bon Bon, but apparently the designer of the dress didn’t take into account that the wearer might like to sit down at some point. So remained standing and rested a hoof on Bon Bon’s shoulder. “I guess he didn’t take it very well.”

“He said I wasn’t putting in the effort to being a good…co-worker,” Bon Bon mumbled, her expression quickly turning angry. “Which isn’t fair! I’ve been working my butt off for years! Is it so bad that I might wanna spend time with somepony else for a change?!”

“No, there’s nothing wrong with that,” said Lyra compassionately.

“Then what’s his problem!” Bon Bon shouted. “You asked me first! He should understand that! I didn’t have to come all the way to Manehatten to um…help him with the project! I could’ve just stayed in Canterlot if I wanted to! But I did it anyway because we’ve been working together for a long time! He has no right to call me a bad…co-worker!”

“Well…maybe you should tell him that,” Lyra suggested.

“Huh?” muttered Bon Bon.

“Tell him how you feel,” Lyra elaborated. “It’s okay you want to do other things, but I don’t think he knows that, does he? He probably thinks your abandoning him or something. He obviously cares about your friendship or he wouldn’t be reacting this way.”

“Friendship might be a bit of a stretch…,” Bon Bon muttered quietly.

“You should go back and talk to him so you two can sort this out,” said Lyra. “You guys have been friends for years. I’d feel bad if that ended up ruined because of me.”

“But what about our da – I mean, outing?” asked Bon Bon.

“We can go out another time,” Lyra offered with a sweet smile. “Preferably something closer to home. Not that Manehatten isn’t great and all, but coming back here on a regular basis would be a pain in the flank.” She leaned forward and gave Bon Bon a quick peck on the cheek, making the mare turn red. “See you back in Canterlot.”

And with one last flirtatious wink, Lyra walked back into the changing room to get out of the ridiculous ensemble. Bon Bon felt like she was walking on a cloud. Cute, funny, and understanding. That mare was the whole package, she thought.

But she would have to fawn over the unicorn later, Bon Bon told herself. The candy-coated mare swiftly whipped out her sunglasses, switching to her Agent Sweetie Drops persona, and marched out the door back to – 






🎵Hoofenshmirtz Villainous Enterprises🎵


Dr. Hoofenshmirtz sighed depressingly as he looked over his Suds-erator, contemplating whether to break it down into scrap metal. I mean, he could use it to control the entire one city area, but without an archenemy to thwart him, then what was the point?

“Maybe I can sell it to a janitor or something,” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz mumbled to himself. “Got to get my deposit back somehow.” Just then, someone knocked on the front door. “Who is it?! I’m in the middle of deep emotional turmoil!”

The front door opened a crack and Agent Sweetie Drops poked her head inside, smiling sheepishly.

“Hey, Heinrich…,” she said softly.

“Oh, it’s you,” said Dr. Hoofenshmirtz, turning his flank and crossing his hooves in a huff. “Shouldn’t you be spending time with your marefriend right now?”

“We kinda called it off,” Agent Sweetie Drops admitted, walking inside. “She wanted me to come back and make up with you.”

“Oh,” said Dr. Hoofenshmirtz, sounding surprised. “Well…that’s nice of her.”

“Yeah, she is,” said Agent Sweetie Drops, smiling softly. “Look, Heinrich, I didn’t mean to ditch you. Ly – er, this mare asked me before I even knew about your diabolical scheme. I know you were expecting me to thwart your evil plan, but I didn’t want to break it of with this mare. So I kinda…decided to do both.”

“Oh, well, that sounds stressful,” said Dr. Hoofenshmirtz, turning around and rubbing his neck guilty.

“It really was,” said Agent Sweetie Drops. “But I tried to make time for both of you. Because you’re both very important ponies to me. I mean, how many years have we spent trying to outsmart each other?”

“Too many to count,” said Dr. Hoofenshmirtz good-naturedly. “Remember that one time with the Pants-erator – “

“Only for you to realize that ponies don’t wear pants!” said Agent Sweetie Drops. The both of them shared a huge fit of laughter before the mare calmed down. “You see, we’ve been through too much to suddenly throw this dynamic away. I can’t imagine my life without hearing one of your convoluted backstories once a week.”

“I have so many of them, don’t I?” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz guffawed.

“So many!” Agent Sweetie Drops chortled. “But…the thing is, I don’t want this to be the only thing in my life. Before today, I thought I was content with just being a secret agent and fighting you. But after meeting this mare, I realized I want something more than fighting all the time. I want a real relationship, like what you had with your ex-wife.” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz looked away regretfully. “I was…kinda hoping you’d be happy for me.”

“No, no, I am happy for you, really!” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz sputtered, flailing his hooves. “It just…felt like you didn’t care about thwarting my evil schemes anymore.”

“Heinrich,” said Agent Sweetie Drops, touching the pharmacist’s shoulder. “I like this mare – I might even fall in love with her one day – but you will always be my archenemy.” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz smiled slightly at that. “How about this: We schedule our battles from now on. And if something comes up, we tell each other beforehand. Sound good.”

“Hmm…you got yourself a deal, Agent Sweetie Drops,” said Dr. Hoofenshmirtz.

The two of them shook hooves and sealed the deal with a friendly hug.

“Well, now that that’s taken care of,” said Agent Sweetie Drops as they pulled apart. “There’s only one thing left to do.”

She looked down and spotted a wrench lying on the ground in the exact spot it was yesterday. She kicked it in the air and bucked it across the room into a big red button labeled “Do Not Touch.”

“Suds-erator will now self-destruct in ten…nine…eight…,” a digitized voice announced while displaying a countdown on the giant monitor next to the button.

“…Seriously, why do I keep putting self-destruct buttons in all my -erators?” Dr. Hoofenshmirtz asked himself.

Agent Sweetie Drops leaped and rolled to the building balcony where she launched her now-functioning grapnel gun at the building across the street. She swung away in a dramatic fashion as Dr. Hoofenshmirtz cursed her name:

“CURSE YOU, AGENT SWEETIE DROPS!!!”

BOOM!!!
> The Cutie Mark Crusaders
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a quaint little tree house located in a private, secluded part of Ponyville’s famous Sweet Apple Acres. Anyone who lived in Ponyville could tell you it was the clubhouse of the town’s very own Cutie Mark Crusaders, a band of fillies dedicated to the discovery of their Cutie Marks. Though in terms of success…they had none. But that never stopped them from trying! Every day, they tried something different. From tightrope walking, to ice fishing, to bowling, to aiding the villainous Dex Hoofer in his total conquest of Equestria and getting a scolding from the Justice Ponies (though that’s a story for another time.)

It just so happened that the Cutie Mark Crusaders were coming back from their latest Cutie Mark adventure at that time.

A mysterious spacecraft landed in front of the CMC’s clubhouse and opened a ramp at the bas of the tree. Apple Bloom and her best friends, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, walked out of the ship, garbed in slightly scorched battle armor and helmets. When they were on Equestrian soil, the ramp retracted and the spaceship started to take off.

“Thanks fer the ride, Manedo!” Apple Bloom shouted, waving. “Good luck with the foal!”

The spaceship turned around and took off into the sky at supersonic speeds, disappearing with an animated twinkle.

Apple Bloom and the others walked up the stairs to their clubhouse and removed their armor at the door, tossing them with the growing pile of failed Cutie Mark memorabilia in the corner. Whiel Sweetie Belle helped Scootaloo take off her helmet – the Pegasi’s sweat apparently created some kind of suction – the CMC’s leader walked over to a hoofmade chart with various symbols drawn on the paper, most of which was crossed out. She took a red marker in her muzzle and drew a big “X” over a picture of an alien with a blaster.

“Well, guess we can cross intergalactic bounty hunter off ta list,” Apple Bloom hummed.

“I thought it was pretty fun,” said Sweetie Bell, prying the helmet off Scootaloo with a squishy ‘pop.’ “Especially when we all got to fly those neat jetpacks.”

“Fun for you, maybe,” Scootaloo grumbled. “You’re not the one that got gobbled up by a space dragon.”

“Okay, okay, settle down, y’all” said Apple Bloom calmly. “So the space adventure didn’t work out. We can try somethin’ else. Ooh, ah know!” She started bouncing excitedly on her hooves. “Maybe we can get out Cutie Mark fer finding the lost city of Seaquestria! We’ll need some scuba divin’ suits, some air tanks, and an anti-sea monster harpoon.”

“I never thought I’d say this,” Scootaloo spoke up with uncertainty. “But can we try something a little less…extreme for our Cutie Marks?”

“I agree with Scootaloo,” said Sweetie Belle. “My hooves are still sore from that bar fight we had with those ponies with the laser swords.”

“Hmm, yeah, I guess we can take it easy fer now,” said Apple Bloom thoughtfully. “So what kind o’ Cutie Mark y’all think we should try fer next?”

“You know what I think,” Scootaloo chimed in. “If we want to find our Cutie Marks, we should ask ponies who already have theirs. Super awesome ponies with all sorts of talents like – “

“Please don’t say the Justice Ponies,” Sweetie Belle requested exasperatedly to no avail.

“The Justice Ponies!” Scootaloo exclaimed enthusiastically, dashing across the clubhouse and gesturing to a tacked-on poster of six costumed mares. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle gave her a pair of unimpressed looks. “Come on, guys, it would be totally awesome to hang out with a bunch of superheroes. They could teach us all sorts of cool talents. Both of your sisters are in the Justice Ponies, right?”

“Which we told ya in confidence,” said Apple Bloom

“Maybe if we learn how they got their Cutie Marks, we could be superheroes, too!” Scootaloo added overexcitedly.

“You just want to meet The Dash,” Sweetie Belle remarked.

“No…maybe…so what?!” Scootaloo huffed.

“Well, ah think Scootaloo’s got the right idea,” said Apple Bloom, drawing a bewildered look from her unicorn. “Not about the Justice Ponies, but about learnin’ from other ponies ‘bout how they got their Cutie Mark. But instead of superheroes, how ‘bout we try for somethin’ a lil’ more manageable like….” She walked around Scootaloo and gestured to a poster with six mares on it, right next to the Justice Ponies poster. “The Mane 6!”

“That’s a great idea!” Sweetie Belle gasped excitedly. “You’re friends with them, aren’t you?”

“Eeyup,” said Apple Bloom proudly, mimicking her brother.

“Hanging out with the Mane 6?!” Scootaloo yelled, smiling from ear-to-ear. “That’s almost as cool as the Justice Ponies. Almost. The Dash is still, like, twenty percent cooler than them.”

“Iffen ya say so,” said Apple Bloom, rolling her eyes playfully. “But, yeah, Moon Dancer and ‘er friends could show us all kinds o’ talents. Twilight has all that book junk lyin’ ‘round, Trixie could teach us stage magic, and Tempest…. Huh.”

“What? What is it?” asked Sweetie Belle curiously.

“Uh, does anypony know what Tempest’s Cutie Mark looks like?” asked Apple Bloom dumbfoundedly.

“That’s easy,” Scootaloo said confidently. “It’s…. Huh. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her Cutie Mark in any of her photos or action figures.”

“Me neither,” said Sweetie Belle, astonished. “She’s always wearing that cloak. It’s cool and mysterious, but she’s always hiding her flank underneath. Do you think maybe she hides because it’s something embarrassing?”

“What? Tempest? Embarrassing? Impossible!” Scootaloo rejected firmly. “Tempest Shadow is, like, the second most awesome pony in all of Equestria, next to The Dash. Her Cutie Mark is probably so awesome, she has to hide it so other ponies aren’t overwhelmed by her awesomeness.”

“I don’t think that’s a real thing,” Sweetie Belle remarked.

“Well, we ain’t gonna figure nothin’ out by standin’ ‘round and flappin’ our gums!” said Apple Bloom with authority. “We have a pony with an unidentified Cutie Mark! And as the Cutie Mark Crusaders, it is our mission to investigate secret Tempest Shadow’s Cutie Mark!”

“I’m pretty sure it’s not,” Sweetie Belle retorted.

“Where do we even start?” asked Scootaloo. Sweetie Belle facehooed; they weren’t listening to her – again.

“We should ask somepony who knows Tempest,” Apple Bloom suggested, smirking. “And I know just the pony….”





“You want to know what Tempest’s Cutie Mark looks like?” Moon Dancer repeated curiously.

After a three-hour train ride on the Friendship Express (and another hour begging their parents and/or guardians for the bits to pay for tickets), the Cutie Mark Crusaders had made it to Canterlot. Of course, entering the capital city wasn’t easy; most ponies needed passports and other documents to get through the front gates. Luckily, Apple Bloom had thought ahead and sent a letter to Moon Dancer via express mail. So when they arrived at the station, the Element of Kindness was already waiting for them, and being invited by an Element Bearer was apparently good enough for the guards to let them pass.

They were sitting outside Cinnamon Chai’s Cake and Tea Shop where the bespectacled unicorn brought the CMC a slice of cake each. While Scootaloo stuffed her face with sugary goodness, it was Apple Bloom who broached the subject of Tempest’s Cutie Mark while Moon Dancer delicately sipped her tea.

“We was wonderin’ if ya ever seen Tempest’s Cutie Mark,” said Apple Bloom. “She’s always wearing that cool, mysterious cloak all the time, so we ain’t never seen it before.”

“Hmm…now that you mention it, I’ve never seen Tempest’s Cutie Mark either,” Moon Dancer hummed thoughtfully.

“But I thought you guys were best friends,” Sweetie Belle gasped shockingly.

“I wouldn’t exactly call us ‘best friends’ or anything,” said Moon Dancer. “Tempest isn’t…the most open pony. She’s really only close to Twilight and Sunset. But back to the matter at hoof, I’ve never once seen Tempest’s flank when it wasn’t covered by her cloak.”

“There’s gotta be a way to find out!” Scootaloo cried dramatically, her muzzle covered in frosting. “The curiosity is killing me!”

“Are you a cat now?” said Sweetie Belle.

“I guess we could always just ask her,” said Moon Dancer; the Cutie Mark Crusaders perked up like excited puppies. “I’m sure should wouldn’t mind sharing if asked.” She drained the last of her tea, left a generous tip on the table, and hopped down from her seat. “Tempest and Grubber are probably at their favorite corner right now.”

“Tempest has a favorite corner?” asked Apple Bloom curiously.

“You’ll see in a few minutes,” Moon Dancer remarked, turning away with a swish of her tail.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders looked at one another curiously, then hopped their seats and followed the older pony (except Scootaloo, who went back to scarf down Sweetie Belle’s untouched cake before rejoining the others.) The Crusaders stayed close to Moon Dancer’s flank while they took in the sights of Canterlot in awe. The differences between the capital and Ponyville were distinctive from the dozens of fancy shops lined up next to each other to the smartly dressed ponies with strange accents. Canterlot was definitely a different world than back home, Apple Bloom thought.

“There she is,” said Moon Dancer, stopping suddenly and causing the Crusaders to bump into her flank. “Whoa, careful back there.”

“Sorry,” Apple Bloom apologized, rubbing her forehead.

The little filly leaned around her idol and searched across the street, immediately spotting their quarry. 

Tempest stood out from the fancy ponies of Canterlot with her darker color scheme, broken horn, and scarred face. She leaning nonchalantly against the lamp post on the corner of St. Braynard St. and Martin Hoofer Queen Jr. Rd., scoping out the scene. Not too far away, Grubber could be seen standing in line for fried turnips, occasionally looking back at his partner if he was needed.

“Look, there’s Tempest!” said Scootaloo excitedly.

“What’s she doing?” asked Sweetie Belle curiously.

“Most likely waiting for the right mark,” Moon Dancer answered casually.

“What mark?” asked Apple Bloom.

Rather than a verbal response, the bespectacled pony gestured to Tempest, who had pushed herself off the lamppost and was making her move.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders were engrossed by the scene as Tempest subtly gestured her head toward a stallion wearing an eye-gouging yellow three-piece suit and a matching bowler hat. Sweetie Belle fought the urge to retch, imagining how horrified her sister would be if she saw such an atrocity. 

Grubber caught the signal and walked toward the fashion challenged pony. As they passed one another, Grubber stuck out his foot and tripped the stallion’s back hooves. The stallion fell forward with a surprised yelp, flopping on his stomach. When he raised himself up on his elbow and looked around for the cause, Grubber was nowhere to be seen. And here comes Tempest to the rescue. The scarred mare helped the stallion to his hooves, brushed him off, and said a few words before the Stallion walked away, waving gratefully.

“Gee that was nice of Tempest,” said Sweetie Belle, smiling.

“But what’d Grubber have to trip that pony up for?” asked Scootaloo.

“Keep watching,” Moon Dancer instructed. The Cutie Mark Crusaders looked forward as Grubber reappeared beside Tempest; the violet mare now holding a sack of bits with a mischievous grin. “This is Tempest’s favorite corner because it’s the easiest spot for her to snatch pony’s bits without them noticing.”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Scootaloo shouted in disbelief. “Are you saying Tempest Shadow is…a thief?!”

“Always has been,” Moon Dancer answered casually. “She robs at least four ponies a day. Not that it matters, since every pony here is rich as Tartarus.”

“And ponies are okay with it?” asked Apple Bloom, mouth agape. “Ain’t nobody find it strange that an Element o’ Harmony is robbin’ ponies every day?”

“Sure, plenty of ponies have,” said Moon Dancer. “I know Thiro Smash from Starlight’s tutoring sessions mentioned it at least once. But we’ve pretty much have gotten used to it by now.”

“Canterlot really is a whole different world,” Apple Bloom mumble in awe.

“I think she’s done for the day,” said Moon Dancer. “Now would be a good time to ask – “

“Tempest Shadow!”

Across the street, the violet mare rolled in eyes exasperatedly while Grubber made himself scarce, disappearing into the crowd. Tempest offered no resistance as the bag of bits was magically ripped from her hoof and floated over to Sunset Shimmer, who was shooting one of her patented disapproving stares.

“You mind giving that back?” Tempest asked calmly. “I promised Grubber I’d buy him some taffy.”

“How many times do we have to go over this, Tempest,” Sunset groaned, facehoofing herself. “You can’t just keep stealing bits from other ponies. You’re an Element of Harmony now. What you do – “

“Reflects on everyone else, blah, blah, blah,” Tempest taunted. “You need to get some new material.”

“Tempest, I – “ Sunset started, then stopped. She took a deep breath and said, “I know I said I’d be more understanding, but I think you’re worth more than a common pickpocket. If you tried, I’m sure you could achieve just about anything.”

Tempest went silent for a moment, tapping her muzzle, then said, “You know what? You’re right.”

“I am?” said Sunset, taken aback.

“Yes, you’re absolutely right,” said Tempest. “I shouldn’t be wasting my time stealing petty change from strangers. I can do so much better than that.” She clapped Sunset on the back appreciatively. “You have helped me see the error of my ways. Thank you, Sunset Shimmer.”

“Uh, no problem,” said Sunset, blinking bewildered. And with that, Tempest walked away with her head held high, humming a happy tune. “Wow, I can’t believe that actually worked. I think I might’ve finally gotten through – and she took my coin purse, didn’t she?” She felt around her flank, frowning. “Yeah, she did.”

“Howdy, Sunset Shimmer!” Apple Bloom greeted. Moon Dancer and the Crusaders crossed the street to join the swindled mare. “Long time, no see.”

“Hey, Apple Bloom,” Sunset greeted before noticing the other fillies. “And you must be Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. The Cutie Mark Crusaders, right?”

“Hello, Miss Sunset,” said Sweetie Belle politely.

“What’s up,” said Scootaloo casually.

“What brings you three to Canterlot?” asked Sunset.

“We wanna find out what Tempest’s Cute Mark is,” answered Apple Bloom.

“Tempest’s Cutie Mark?” Sunset parroted curiously.

“Do you know it looks like?” asked Scootaloo eagerly.

“I’ve never actually seen it before,” said Sunset, touching her muzzle in a pondering pose. “But now that I realize that, I can’t help feel a little curious myself.”

“Tempest is a real mare of mystery,” Moon Dancer remarked. “The more you try to learn, the more questions you have.”

“Y’all wanna join us in our investigation?” asked Apple Bloom excitedly. “The Cutie Mark Crusaders teamin’ up with the Mane Six to solve the mystery of Tempest’s Cutie Mark.”

“I don’t think it’s that dramatic,” said Sunset, chuckling. “Still, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t interested.”

“Yay! Cutie Mark Crusader team-up!” The CMC cheered, high-hoofing each other. Sunset and Moon Dancer, however, were trying to hide their faces in embarrassment from all the stares they were getting.

“Yes, yes, it’s a team-up, but let’s keep it down, okay?” Moon Dancer said in a hushed voice.

“Uh, guys, not rain on anypony’s parade,” Sweetie Belle spoke up, gesturing to the surrounding crowd. “But we kind of lost our target.”

“Great! Now how’re we supposed to find her!” Scootaloo complained.

“It’s almost noon, so she’s probably heading to the Canterlot Carousel,” said Sunset. “Starlight’s been helping everypony in the Mane Six find the perfect look for the Grand Galloping Gala next month. I was just there yesterday trying every dress in the shop and I still had to order a custom dress from Manehatten.”

“Never took Starlight for a fashionista,” Moon Dancer commented. “Seems so…out of character for her.”

“She just everything to be perfect for when she meets Sunburst at the Gala,” said Sunset, giggling. “It’s actually kinda cute – “

“Well, what the heck ‘re we standin’ ‘round yammering all day?!” Apple Bloom interrupted, quite rudely in Sunset’s opinion. “This is the perfect chance to catch Tempest while she’s a-changin’! Let’s go-o-o-o!”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders ran off down the streets through the legs of the older ponies, not realizing that they were heading in the wrong direction. Sunset and Moon Dancer looked at one another and came to a silent agreement: they are never having foals.





The combined forced of Sunset, Moon Dancer, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders found themselves peeking cautiously through the window of the Canterlot Carousel under the guise of window shopping. Through the ponyquinns and between the racks of dresses, they could the top of Tempest’s mohawk mane. Though Sassy Saddles easily stood out, being just as tall as a princess for whatever reason. The boutique manager’s mouth was moving, but they couldn’t make out what she was saying. The Cute Mark Crusaders shared a look and nodded in agreement; they needed to get closer.

Sunset quietly turned the knob and opened the boutique door, using her horn to stop the bell above from alert Tempest of their presence. Moon Dancer trotted in after her while the Cutie Mark Crusaders army crawled through the threshold. Sunset could have told them it was unnecessary, but once again, she couldn’t risk letting Tempest know they were following her. So she silently closed the door and ducked behind the rack with the others.

The girl poked their heads through the clothes and spotted Tempest Shadow, her flank turned to them, standing next to Starlight Glimmer. Sassy Saddles was levitating a folded cloth of black and gold into Tempest’s hooves; the violet mare looked uncertain.

“Are you sure about this?” She asked questionably.

“Tempest, I have been pouring over designs night and day to find the right design for you,” said Sassy Saddles confidently. “Even had to call Rarity for advice, but I think we found the right look for you. We kept the overall design simply to match your tastes as well as your preference to…darker colors while throwing in a dash of gold accents. And I thought a touch of jewelry would go well to compliment that…unique horn of yours.”

“I doubt anything could compliment this travesty,” said Tempest self-deprecating, touching her broken stub.

“Don’t talk about yourself that way, Tempest,” said Starlight, frowning. “You’re a lovely mare, even with a broken horn and scar. Remember back in Ponyville? All those mares were literally flocking around you.”

“All I remember was Sunset punching a few of their lights out,” Tempest guffawed.

Moon Dancer and the Cutie Mark Crusaders were shooting Sunset smug looks. The sunny mare buried her face in her hooves, groaning at the memory.

“Just try it out,” Starlight requested. “I bet you’ll look so beautiful, it’ll give Sunset a heart attack.”

“Hmm…I haven’t gone to jail for murder yet,” Tempest hummed playfully. “All right, it’s not like I have anything to lose.”

Tempest walked into the changing room with the dress and closed the curtain behind her while Starlight and Sassy Saddles talked quietly among themselves.

“We should take a peek at Tempest while she’s changing,” Scootaloo suggested.

“Isn’t that an invasion of privacy?” said Sweetie Belle, frowning.

“We’re never gonna get a better chance to see Tempest without her cloak on,” said Scootaloo. “Besides, it’s not she’ll have anything we haven’t seen before. Most ponies don’t wear clothes at all.”

“For some reason, I’m suddenly feeling self-conscious,” Moon Dancer muttered.

“Is someone gonna take a peek o’ not?” Apple Bloom asked impatiently.

“All right, all right, I’ll do it,” said Sunset, trying to act like it was a bother.

“Gee, what a surprise,” Moon Dancer said sarcastically with a smug grin.

“Shut up,” Sunset grimaced.

The sunny mare slowly emerged from the clothing rack and tiptoed across the store, stepping lightly around Starlight and Sassy, who were in their own little world. She stopped in front of the dressing room. She could hear rustling on the other side of the curtain. Sunset gulped loudly, suddenly feeling nervous, like she was about to see something forbidden. She raised her hoof –

“Hey, Sunset, I didn’t know you were here,” Starlight called out, making Sunset jump with a surprised yelp. Starlight stared at her strangely for a moment, but brushed it off. “You here about your Gala dress? Sorry, it’s not supposed to be here for a few more days. Sassy says the owner is personally overseeing the design.” She bumped Sunset good-naturedly. “One of the perks of being the princess’s student, am I right?”

“Er, yeah, uh, sure,” said Sunset nervously.

“What’s going on out there?” Tempest asked from inside the changing room before poking her head out. “Oh, hey, Sunset. You figure out about the coin purse.”

“Yes, and I’m very mad about that, by the way,” Sunset huffed.

“Hold your horses, filly,” said Tempest teasingly. “I was just messing with you. I passed your purse off to a guard and told them to take it back to your room. Don’t worry, every bit is there.”

“Oh…well…thank you,” said Sunset, surprised.

“Was that all you needed?” asked Starlight.

Sunset’s only response was a drawn-out “Uuuuhhhh….” She couldn’t say that she was spying on Tempest to look at her Cutie Make, especially when said pony was standing three hooves away. But if she didn’t come up with an excuse, she would either have to leave or risk looking suspicious. Her eyes rolled around the boutique until they landed on Moon Dancer and The Crusaders. A lightbulb went off in her head. Muttering quiet apology, Sunset used her horn to drag Moon Dancer and the Crusaders out into the open and plopped them in front of Starlight.

“Moon Dancer and I are giving Apple Bloom and her friends a tour of Canterlot!” Sunset yelped quickly.

“We are?” asked Moon Dancer. Sunset elbowed her in the side. “Oh, right, we are! Yep! Giving them a tour of Canterlot!”

“We were walking past the boutique when they said they wanted to try out the dresses here?” Sunset continued.

“We did?” asked Scootaloo. Apple Bloom elbowed her this time. “I mean, yeah, we totally said that!”

“Oh, how exciting!” said Sassy Saddles extravagantly, sensing potential customers. “I love seeing the looks on new pony’s faces when they find that perfect outfit. And since you’re friends with Starlight and Sunset, I will make it my personal responsibility to help you find the right look.”

“Y’all don’t really have ta – “ Apple Bloom started, but was cut off by Sassy Saddles.

“Nonsense! I would be delight to assist!” She didn’t give the Crusaders a chance to respond before levitating them across the store. “Come along, children. I think there might be something your size on the second floor.”

Tempest quirked her brow curiously, especially at Sunset and Moon Dancer’s suspiciously wide, nervous smiles. But the violet mare just shrugged and disappeared behind the curtain again. Sunset and Moon Dancer exhaled relieved sighs.

“What was that?” Moon Dancer hissed. “Why’d you drag us into this.”

“Hey, all of this is your fault to begin with!” Sunset snapped. “I had to come up with something! Otherwise, we’d look totally suspicious!”

Why are we whispering?” Starlight asked, suddenly appearing between the two. Sunset and Moon Dancer jumped back with startled yelps; Starlight blinked at the strangely. “Are you two okay? You’re acting weird…. Well, more than usual.”

“Think we should tell her?” asked Moon Dancer.

“She might be able to help,” said Sunset thoughtfully.

“Tell me what exactly?” asked Starlight.

“The truth is…,” Sunset started before remembering that Tempest was just on the other side of the curtain. She moved them a few hooves away and continued. “The truth is, we’re not here about dresses. We wanted to catch a peek at Tempest’s Cutie Mark.”

“Tempest’s Cutie Mark?” Starlight repeated.

“Apple Bloom’s friends brought it up,” Moon Dancer explained. “They were curious about what kind of Cutie Mark Tempest has. And…I admit I was a little curious myself since I’ve never seen her Cutie Mark before.”

“Me neither,” Sunset admitted.

“So you guys snuck in here hoping to catch a peek of Tempest’s Cutie Mark while she was changing,” Starlight summarized. “That’s a serious invasion of privacy and you should be ashamed of yourselves. You’re setting a bad example for those fillies.” Sunset and Moon Dancer hanged their heads shamefully. “On the other hoof…I’m kinda curious myself. You know she’s never taken off that cloak of hers once, not even during Daybreaker’s heatwave?”

“Exactly!” Sunset exclaimed. “That’s weird, right?!”

“So does that mean you’re gonna help us?” asked Moon Dancer.

“…If Tempest gets upset, I’m throwing you under the wagon,” Starlight stated firmly.

“Fair enough,” Sunset agreed.

Sunset, Starlight, and Moon Dancer shook hooves to confirm their secret alliance against Tempest Shadow, who could be heard groaning on the other side of the curtain like she was struggling. Half the members of the Mane Six tiptoed silently over to the dressing room; they heard Tempest hum appreciatively through the drapes. Starlight raised a hoof to her lips, signaling the other two to stay silent, and flared up her horn. The curtain glowed with Starlight’s magic as the lilac mare inched the cloth to the side – 

“Success!” Starlight yelped like a frightened mouse, nearly ripping the curtains off. She, Sunset, and Moon Dancer spun around on their hooves, smiling innocently as Sassy Saddles came back with a satisfied smile on her muzzle. “Oh, Starlight, you have to see this! Your little friends look absolutely precious!”

“Uh, that’s nice, Sassy,” Starlight stammered, glancing sideways at the curtain. “But we’re in the middle of – “

But Sassy’s pushiness wouldn’t give Starlight a chance to finish before the trio of mares were suddenly lifted off the floor and promptly carried to the back of the store. Just as Tempest stepped out of the changing room, sans the cloak, but the clothing racks blocked their view of the scarred unicorn’s flank. Sunset cursed her luck as Sassy Saddles deposited them on the floor in front of the stairs.

“Please sit here for a moment,” Sassy Saddles requested, then called up the stairs. “Oh, girls, come down and show your friends your new looks!”

A few moments, later, the Cutie Mark Crusaders trotted downstairs dressed in a whole new wardrobe. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle looked pleased, but Scootaloo was grumpy as she tugged at her collar.



“I call this ‘The Roaring Centuries’,” said Sassy Saddles, looking pleased with herself. “What do you think.”

“Ah feel like one o’ them dancin’ ponies at an Appleloosa saloon,” said Apple Bloom, giggling and shaking her tail,

“I like the pearls; they make me feel fancy,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Ugh, why is thing so tight around the neck?” Scootaloo grimaced. “Don’t you have anything all little cooler? Something wild and awesome?”

“Wild, huh?” Sassy Saddles hummed thoughtfully. She flared up her horn and started pulling clothes off the rack. “I think I might have something that should do the trick….”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders shrieked as they were assaulted in a whirlwind of clothes. When they emerged, their new attire certainly fit the bill for “wild.”



“Uh…Ah think this might be a bit too wild,” Apple Bloom said hesitantly.

“Ye-e-eah, this is a bit much, even for me,” said Scootaloo.

“I don’t even know what’s happening with my mane right now,” said Sweetie Belle worriedly.

“Hmm, this is a lot harder than I expected,” Sassy Saddles hummed. “Tell, me exactly are you looking for.”

“Ooh, how about something fancy, like what a princess would wear,” said Sweetie Belle excitedly.

“Something cool and awesome like The Dash!” said Scootaloo, enthusiastically.

“Ah’m just okay with somethin’ different,” said Apple Bloom nonchalantly.

“Well, all right then,” said Sassy Saddle, levitating the swarm of clothes again. “How about something like…this!”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders were swallowed into the fashion storm once more and the results were….



“….”

“….”

“….”

“….I think I made a mistake,” Sassy Saddle mumbled.

“Uh, you definitely made a mistake,” Scootaloo remarked.

“It’s like watching a train wreck,” said Sunset, having watched the entire scene play out with Starlight and Moon Dancer. “You can’t look away.”

“Well, we’re going to have to,” said Moon Dancer, looking over her shoulder. “Tempest is gone.”

“What?!” shouted Sunset, spinning around to find that Tempest was no longer in the boutique. She stomped her hoof in frustration. “Oh, that’s just great! Now how’re we gonna find her!”

“She probably going to Clydesdale Rd.,” Starlight answered. “She said she had something important to do there after she was done with her fitting. Something about…doing some renovations.”

“What would she need to renovate on Clydesdale?” Moon Dancer wondered.

“We can find out where we get there,” said Sunset.

While Sassy Saddles busied herself looking through the racks for the CMC’s next outfits, Sunset gestured them to move their flanks. The Crusaders weren’t going to put up any arguments. They immediately ditched their clothes and dashed out of the Canterlot Carousel after the mares of the Mane Six.

“Maybe this one will work better,” Sassy Saddles said to herself, levitating one of the outfits off the rack. “Girls, what do you think about sequins?” Her response came in the form of the front door slamming shut. The tall unicorn looked around, bewildered, and realized that she was alone. “…Well, that’s gratitude for you.”





Clydesdale Rd. wasn’t that far from the boutique – it was twenty minutes if you walked, but ten if you hoofed it. The area was fairly close to the middle-class district of Canterlot, so it wasn’t as frequented as streets closer to the princess’s castle. Though the middle-class had its own thriving community, it had a lot more abandoned and foreclosed buildings due to failing businesses. And Tempest just so happened to be walking into one of these abandoned buildings by the time her stalkers caught up.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders and the Half-Six were watching suspiciously behind a stack of barrels (which earned several strange looks from passing ponies.) They had just spotted the tail end of their target before she slammed the door shut behind her. The building’s faded paint and chipped walls gave it a feeling of total neglect while the broken windows were boarded up halfheartedly with only two planks each, like someone couldn’t put for the effort to do a proper job. It looked like there used to be an electric sign on top, but all that was left was a giant “H” and a tilted “Y.”

“That does not look up to code,” Moon Dancer commented.

“Whatcha think Tempest’s doin’ in there?” asked Apple Bloom curiously.

“Maybe it’s her secret hideout,” Scootaloo suggested. “Or maybe she’s using it for shady business deals. Or maybe she’s using it as a secret sugar cube lab.”

“Your aunts still letting you watch cop dramas?” said Sweetie Belle.

“What? They’re good!” Scootaloo retorted.

“Okay, being a thief is one thing,” Sunset spoke up. “But Tempest wouldn’t be caught up in something illegal sugar cubes. I’m sure there’s a reason able explanation why she’s hiding out in an abandoned building far away where nobody can see what she’s doing.”

“Like?” asked Starlight.

“…Maybe she’s practicing her dancing for the gala?” Sunset suggested sheepishly.

The others remained silent with unconvinced stares.

Their attention was drawn back to the building when a thunderous CRASH rang out from inside. Another crash followed that one, and then the window was smashed open when a table was thrown through the boards and broke into splinters on the street. Through the open window, they caught repeated glimpses of light flashes that could only come from Tempest’s horn discharge. The violet mare herself was yelling as more objects were being tossed outside.

“Tempest is in trouble!” Starlight yelled.

“We’re coming, Tempest!” screamed Sunset.

Sunset, Starlight, and Moon Dancer sprint across the road and barrel through the door (busting it off it hinges in the process.) The Cutie Mark Crusaders were, of course, behind them the whole time. They had arrived just in time to witness Tempest turn a table into a pile of ash with her horn…while Twilight and Trixie evaluated her work.

Team Stalker did a doubletake.

The inside of the building looked just as bad as the outside; rotted wooden floorboards filled with holes, peeling and smudged wallpaper, and dozens of termite-chewed wooden furniture littering the space. But the bar area seemed perfectly intact and ever had a few old bottles still left on the shelves. There was also a stage in the back that had been outfitted with new curtains that matched Trixie’s cape.

Speaking of whom, Twilight, Trixie, and Tempest were all wearing hardhats and safety goggles; Trixie had replaced her signature cape with a star-spangled safety vest. Twilight was holding a clipboard, checking something off the list, and Trixie had been floating another table to Tempest when the mares barged in.

“Hey, Trixie was going to keep that door!” Trixie shouted indignantly. “Now Trixie will have to pay for a new one!”

“Relax, Trixie, you can just use your Savior of Equestria discount at the hardware store,” said Twilight calmly, rolling her eyes at the stagemare’s dramatics.

“It’s still rude!” said Trixie.

“Sunset? Starlight? Moon Dancer? Kids?” Tempest called them out, lifting her safety goggles. “What’re you doing here?”

“We were, uh, just in the neighborhood,” said Apple Bloom lamely.

“In the middle-class district?” said Tempest strangely. “Twenty minutes from the boutique I just saw you at? And you happened to be walking past this particular place?”

“I was, uh, taking them to play hoofball with Spitfire,” Sunset intervened quickly. “Scootaloo is a huge Wonderbolts fan, so I invited everyone to come play a game with us.”

“Really?!” Scootaloo squeed until Apple Bloom elbowed her in the side.

Tempest looked at them suspiciously, tapping her muzzle, then said, “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”

Team Stalker exhaled simultaneous sighs of relief.

“That doesn’t explain why you suddenly came crashing through all of a sudden,” Twilight pointed.

“How would you react if you saw a table being thrown out the window?” Starlight retorted.

“Fair enough,” Twilight conceded.

“What’re you doing in here, anyway?” asked Moon Dancer, stepping further inside the building and looking around. Her hoof nearly went through the rotted floor. “This place is a disaster.”

“Trixie is well aware of these facts, Moon Dancer,” said Trixie. “That is why Trixie has brought in Tempest to help renovate the place while Twilight handles the boring paperwork stuff.”

“It’s not ‘boring paperwork stuff’, Trixie!” Twilight huffed, waving her clipboard. “This is all very important! There are zoning laws and property records. Not to mention the financial estimates for the contractors and long-term supply needs – “

“See, boring paperwork stuff,” said Trixie flippantly; Twilight huffed grumpily.

“Are you building something, Miss Trixie?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Right you are, little unicorn filly that Trixie does not know!” Trixie announced dramatically, swishing a cape that wasn’t there. “Be amazed, as you are standing on the grounds that will soon become the Great and Powerful Trixie’s great and powerful new place of business!”

“What happened to your wagon?” asked Starlight, momentarily worried.

“Oh, Trixie will still use it as a mobile headquarters,” said Trixie nonchalantly, then gestured widely at the building around them. “But this place…. This will be the location for Trixie’s inevitably successful entertainment bar!”

“An entertainment bar?! What’s that?!” Apple Bloom asked; she and the Crusaders were easily influenced by the stagemare’s charisma.

“It’s just like it sounds, little Apple Bloom,” said Trixie, grinning proudly. “It will be a place where Trixie will be able to perform her magic shows on a regular schedule instead of having to waiting for other ponies to hire Trixie. A lesson Trixie learned from her brief stint with Twilight Sparkle as Trixie’s manager.”

“That only lasted ten minutes,” Twilight pointed out.

The stagemare ignored the comment and canter over to the stage, gesturing it dramatically.

“This is where Trixie will be performing all of her Great and Powerful shows!” she announced enthusiastically. “And it won’t just be Trixie, either! Other ponies will be allowed to perform on stage as well! Surprise from the Wonderbolts has already booked a performance for opening night. Turns out, she also joined an acapella quartet.”

Trixie bound over to the bar area, leaping over the holes in the floorboard. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were enthralled by Trixie’s ideas and Starlight giggled behind her hoof, thinking how much Trixie was acting like an overexcited filly herself.

“And this is where Trixie will hold her side business,” Trixie announced, gesturing to the countertop. “Trixie expects to mostly sell Fizzy Fruit Potions, but it can also double as an apothecary. How many bars do you know that sell magical potions that heal most known ailments? None! That’s how many! Trixie will be a pioneer in the industry!”

“That is…a really cool idea, to be honest,” said Sunset, sounding genuinely surprised herself.

“Why’d you suddenly decide to open a bar?” asked Starlight curiously.

“Trixie has traveled all over across Equestria for many years,” said Trixie with a forlorn look. “She has never stayed anywhere longer than a few weeks. Trixie was always moving from one place to the next. Never stopping, never settling. And then Daybreaker came, Trixie made some new friends, and before Trixie realized it, Trixie had been staying in Canterlot for three months. Sure, Trixie still plans on traveling some time, but Trixie decided it was time she finally put down her roots in Canterlot.”

“Hence the bar,” said Moon Dancer.

“That sounds awesome!” said Scootaloo. “I’m totally rooting for you, Trixie!”

“Thank you, pegasus filly with the defective wings,” said Trixie. Moon Dancer scowled and used her horn to rip up a loose plank and smack her over the head with it. “Ow! What did Trixie do?!”

“Instead of envisioning you dream pub,” Tempest’s voice cut like a record scratch, bringing everyone back to the present, “how ‘bout you help make it a reality. I’m not gonna clean up this place by myself, just so you know.”

“Right, sorry, Tempest,” Twilight apologized. She used her horn to pull up a broom and dustpan, sweeping up the ashen remains of the table, and dump it in a large garbage bag that had been off to the side. “Why don’t you take that out back and we’ll get started fixing up this place.”

“Fine by me,” said Tempest, grabbing the bag with her teeth. “Could use a licorice break.”

After Tempest had dragged the bag outside and closed the door behind her, Twilight rounded on Team Stalker, startling them.

“Okay, what’s really going on here?” Twilight asked seriously; Trixie blinked, confused. “Why are Apple Bloom and her friends here? And why are you following Tempest?”

“Wha-a-a-at?” said Sunset exaggeratedly. “We’re not following Tempest. I told you, we were just going to play hoofball with Spitfire – “

“Princess Luna and her friends are all having a spa day,” Twilight cut her off. “I know – I’m the one who schedule it.”

“Drat!” Sunset cursed under her breath. “Why does she have to be so efficient?”

“Trixie is confused,” said Trixie. “Then again, Trixie is confused about most topics that aren’t about Trixie.”

“It’s our fault, Twilight,” Apple Bloom admitting, stepping forward with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. “We was just wonderin’ what Tempest’s Cutie Mark looked like, on account that we’re tryin’ to get our Cutie Marks.”

“But no one’s ever seen Tempest without her cloak,” Scootaloo continued. “So we asked Moon Dancer to get us into Canterlot so we could investigate.”

“Then it kind of snowballed from there,” said Sweetie Belle. “Before we knew it, everybody wanted to find out about Tempest’s Cutie Mark. We went to her favorite stealing corner, the boutique, and now here. It’s been a lo-o-ong day.”

“I see,” Twilight hummed thoughtfully. “Well, I can’t say I approve of your stalking one of our friends…,” The Cutie Mark Crusaders hanged their heads shamefully. “On the other hoof, now I re-e-eally wanna know what Tempest’s Cutie Mark looked like.”

“Right?!” Sunset exclaimed. “I mean, how is it we’ve known her for months and we’ve never seen it before?”

“Isn’t her Cutie Mark just the same shape as her Element Necklace or whatever it’s called?” Trixie suggested.

“We have no way of know that,” said Twilight, running an excited high at the thought of solving a seemingly world-changing mystery. For once, Trixie was the one rolling her eyes at Twilight’s ridiculousness. “We should come up with a plan to find out what she’s hiding underneath her cloak.”

“Why don’t we just ask her?” Trixie suggested.

“Ask who what?”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders and the Mane Five jumped with startled screams at Tempest, who had suddenly popped up behind them, nibbling on a rope of (black, bleck!) licorice.

“Are you guys okay?” asked Tempest, looking at them all strangely. “You’ve been acting weird all day.”

“No, no, we’re all fine – super fine!” said Twilight, her muzzle stretched into an obviously fake smile. “We were just, um, saying how excited we all are about Trixie’s new bar.”

Tempest kept staring at Twilight, who felt a trick of sweat running down the side of her head, then shrugged uncaringly, finished her licorice, and went back to work. Twilight let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. Tempest shattered another rotted chair with her hooves when Twilight noticed a bead of sweat on her brow. A lightbulb went off in the unicorn’s head.

“Gee, you sure look hot, Tempest,” Twilight said exaggeratedly, which cause the others to wince. She was a terrible actress.

“Don’t let Sunset hear you say that,” said Tempest teasingly, smashing another chair.

“You know that’s not what I meant!” Twilight yelped, blushing with embarrassment. She took a deep breath to cool down and continued. “I was saying, it’s really hot inside here. You know, without any working fans or air conditioning. Maybe you should take off your cloak so you don’t overheat.”

“This is nothing compared to what we went through with Daybreaker,” said Tempest proudly, bucking a table against the wall and smashing it to splinters.

“Well, that’s true,” Twilight agreed. “Well…you don’t want your cloak to get dirty, right? Maybe you should – “

“What does your Cutie Mark look like?” Trixie asked impatiently.

Everypony (minus Tempest) exhaled startled gasps, all staring at Trixie with bulging eyes and dropped jaws. Like they couldn’t believe that Trixie could blurt that out so bluntly and without warning. Trixie, on the other hand, felt like she was the only smart pony in the group, which was… a very strange feeling, if she was being perfectly honest.

“My Cutie Mark?” Tempest repeated. She looked at the group and something clicked inside her head. “Wait, is that what this was all about? You just wanted to see my Cutie Mark?”

“Um…yes?” Moon Dancer replied sheepishly.

“We’re sorry, Tempest,” Apple Bloom apologized sincerely. “We just wanted ta know what yer Cutie Mark looked like so bad because, well, because yer our hero.”

“We wanted to learn more about how we could get out own Cutie Marks from you guys,” said Scootaloo, gesturing to the Mane Six. “Then we started talking about how no one’s ever seen Tempest’s Cutie Mark.”

“We kind of became obsessed with find out that we forgot the original purpose of this trip,” Sweetie Belle admitted sheepishly.

“They’re not the only ones,” said Starlight, scratching the back of her head. “It’s just…I don’t know. We’ve known you for months and it find a little strange that you never told us.”

“You could’ve just asked,” said Tempest calmly.

“Trixie told you!” Trixie shouted victory. “Looks likie Trixie is the smart pony now! …Ew, Trixie doesn’t like it. Take it back.”

“We – well, mostly I – was kind of worried how you might react after the whole sleepover thing,” said Sunset. “So we…kinda tried to sneak a peek back at the Canterlot Carousel.”

“And tried to trick you into taking your cloak off,” Twilight added.

“Well, I’m torn between being flattered and disturbed,” said Tempest jokingly, earning herself a few chuckles. “Hey, it’s fine. If you guys wanna see what’s on my flank, all you have to do is say so.”

“Can we see your Cutie Mark?!” The Cutie Mark Crusaders shouted in unison. Tempest laughed out loud.

“All right, all right, hold your horses,” said Tempest amusingly.

The violet mare started by removing her scarf, purposely slow as to entice her audience. And it worked, too, because the Crusaders and the Mane Five were leaning forward in anticipation. Then, the moment they were all waiting for, Tempest removed the clasp on her cloak and let it fall to the floor.

Everypony gasped in shock.

“You’re…a blank flank?” Scootaloo gasped.

“That’s right,” said Tempest, tapping the empty space on her flank where not even the barest hint of a Cutie Mark resided. “I don’t really try to hide it, but…well, Grubber said the cloak looked cool on me and I kinda agree with him. Makes me look cool and mysterious.”

“You never found your Cutie Mark?” asked Twilight dumbfoundedly.

“I tried for a while when I was a filly,” said Tempest, touching her broken horn. “But after certain…events, I pretty much stopped trying.”

“That’s so sad,” said Sweetie Belle remorsefully. “You never found your true purpose.”

“Hey, I don’t need some tattoo on my butt to tell me what my purpose is,” said Tempest, smirking confidently. “I know who I am. I’m Tempest Shadow – thief, friend, savior of the kingdom, and best-looking mare in Equestria.” She winked in Sunset’s direction. The sunny mare looked away, blushing. “Just because I never found my Cutie Mark, doesn’t mean I don’t have value. As long as I have my friends – and pockets to pick – I’ll proudly be a blank flank.”

“…so cool,” Scootaloo murmured in starry-eyed awe.

“Ya know, ah never thought about it like that,” said Apple Bloom, smiling at her friends. “Ah guess there’s nothin’ wrong with being a blank flank, as long as ah have Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo with meh. So if Diamond Tiara starts makin’ fun o’ us again, we’ll just say, ‘We’re blank and we’re proud!’”

“Good for you, Apple Bloom,” said Moon Dancer, ruffling the filly’s mane.

“Still…,” said Apple Bloom, looking sadly up at Tempest. “Ah wish there was some way we could help ya find your Cutie Mark, even if y’all don’t need it.”

“…Maybe we should,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Huh?” Scootaloo quipped strangely.

“Come again?” said Apple Bloom.

“Maybe we’ve been going about this the wrong way,” said Sweetie Belle inspirationally. “Maybe instead of focusing on finding our own Cutie Marks, maybe our purpose in life is to help other ponies finding their Cutie Marks. Help them find their purpose in life.”

“…Well, that’s just plum crazy,” Apple Bloom dismissed.

“Yeah, whoever heard of a Cutie Mark for helping other ponies find their Cutie Marks?” Scootaloo scoffed.

“But – “

“Hey, ah got an idea!” Apple Bloom suddenly chirped. “What ‘bout a Cutie Mark fer bungie jumpin’!”

“Yeah! Let’s jump off the side of the mountain and see if we can get out Cutie Marks!” said Scootaloo excitedly.

“Oh, no! That is definitely not safe!” Moon Dancer screamed, chasing Apple Bloom and Scootaloo out of the building. “You fillies get back here before you hurt yourselves!”

“Why do I even bother?” Sweetie Belle sighed exasperatedly, trudging out the door after them.

The remaining members of the Mane Six shared amused looks and all came to the same idea: They are never having kids.






> Professor Starlight
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Being a tutor at Princess Luna’s School for Gifted Unicorns can be as rewarding as it is frustrating. In the case of her current student, it was no reward and all frustration.

The room that the school had given her as a tutoring space looked like it had been ransacked by a herd of angry buffalo. The tables had been overturned and two of them had been snapped in half. The walls were plastered in an assortment of cupcake batter, confetti strips, glitter, and narwhals. Poor Phyllis the Plant had been turned every color in the rainbow and was now the home for a spider wearing a top hat. And yet, somehow, the only thing in the room that hadn’t been touched was the gigantic bull’s-eye on the opposite wall.

Starlight felt her eyelid twitch furiously. It was taking all her will power not to snap the horn off the excited blonde filly bouncing around next to her.

“Um, maybe we should stop here for today,” Starlight suggested through gritted teeth. “We can pick this up next week if you’d like – “

“No, wait, I can do this!” the filly exclaimed confidently.

“Please, let’s just call it a – “

The filly ignored her tutor and poured all her energy into her next spell, which somehow manifested as a massive glob of murky-red gelatin. The jelly blob flew across the room and was on course with hitting the target…when it suddenly stopped in midair, inches from the bull’s-eye, and catapult backwards from whence it came. Starlight, too exhausted from the day’s events, didn’t even try to dodge and was splattered from hoof-to-horn in jelly.

The exasperated unicorn blinked slowly, licking her lips, and muttered a tired, “Mmm, strawberry.”

A soft knocking alerted them of somepony at the door before they let themselves in. An elderly, withered-looking unicorn mare stepped inside the room, pausing to take a surprised doubletake of the disaster area. Starlight automatically tensed up. It was Professor Inkwell, one of the school’s senior instructors and the highest authority figure next to Princess Luna.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” said Professor Inkwell, carefully stepping over patches of jelly, glitter, and discarded narwhals.

“N-no, no, we were just finishing up!” Starlight stammered. “Isn’t that right, Starco?”

“But I wanted to – “

“Get a head start on your magicology homework?” Starlight interrupted with the biggest fake smile her teeth could stand. She levitated the filly and practically punted her out into the hallway. “Well, I guess you oughta get move on! They call it home-work for a reason!”

“But – “

Starlight slammed the door so hard, the entire wall shuddered and left a few cracks in the plaster. Professor Inkwell was still looking around at the catastrophe the filly had created with a quirked brow. A sweat was starting the break on Starlight’s brow.

“Uh, lemme get that real quick!” she yelped frantically. The lilac mare unleashed a pulse wave of magic from her horn and everything it touched was miraculously returned to its previous state, including Phyllis! “There, that’s better.”

“I see you are making yourself comfortable,” said Professor Inkwell with a humorous undertone. “It’s been a few months since you joined our prestigious school, Miss Glimmer. How have you been? Any problems or concerns?”

“Oh, no, things have been great, Professor Inkwell,” said Starlight optimistically. “Being able to shape the minds of young colts and fillies is a privilege I am grateful for. Which is something I never thought I would say given my whole ‘anti-cutie mark vendetta’ phase.” She tapped her muzzle, humming hesitantly. “Although, some of the students I help tend to be…”

“Little annoying snots?” Professor Inkwell offered.

“I was going to say difficult, but we’ll go with that,” said Starlight, chuckling.

“Believe me, you haven’t seen anything yet,” said Professor Inkwell amusingly. “You should’ve been here when Trixie Lulamoon was a student. She was always causing some kind of commotion with one thing or another. Though that hardly compares to the trouble Twilight Sparkle would always get up to. She was the worst student I ever had.”

“I have so many questions...,” Starlight mumbled out loud.

“Ah, but I didn’t come here to reminisce,” said Professor Inkwell. “I have a favor to ask of you, Miss Glimmer.”

“What sort of favor?” Starlight asked curiously.

“I am attending a teacher’s conference in Fillydelphia for a few days starting tomorrow,” Professor Inkwell informed her. “While I am away, I wish for you to fill in for my Advanced Spellcasting class.”

“You want me to be a teacher?” Starlight gasped.

“It is on a temporary basis,” Professor Inkwell clarified. “I have already planned out the lessons for the days that I am away, so you will be adequately prepared. All you need to do is show up and teach.”

“Wow, my own class,” said Starlight dreamily. “I’ll be like a real teacher. Well, substitute teacher, but it still counts! But are you sure you want me to fill in? Shouldn’t one of the other professors do it? I don’t even have a teaching license.”

“Just between you and me,” Professor Inkwell leaned in, whispering conspiratorially in Starlight’s ear. “More than half the teachers in this school don’t have licenses. And I’m pretty sure most of them aren’t even real teachers.”

“…I grow more concerned for the safety of the kingdom with each passing day,” Starlight commented.

“Regardless, I feel that you are more than qualified to instruct the students while I am away,” said Professor Inkwell. “And if things go well, I may even consider offering a permanent position in our academia.”

“You can count on me, professor!” Starlight chimed with a happy salute. “I promise, I won’t let you down!”





“You got offered a teaching position?” Twilight gasped, clapping her hooves cheerfully. “That’s wonderful, Starlight! I’m so proud of you!”

Starlight had left Princess Luna’s school with a skip in her step, practically buzzing to tell somepony the good news. Luckily, she had found Twilight, Spike, and Moon Dancer sitting outside Cinnamon Chai’s Tea and Cake Shop. No doubt Moon Dancer was taking advantage of Trixie being preoccupied with her future bar to spend some quality time with the oblivious mare. She certainly looked annoyed when Starlight plopped down in the chair between her and Twilight, but annoyance gave way to excitement after Starlight shared the new.

“I’m only substituting for a few days,” Starlight tried to sound humble, but she couldn’t erase the goofy grin on her muzzle. “But if I do a good job, they might consider signing me on full time.”

“You’ve more than earned it,” Moon Dancer complimented. “Some of the students come by the book shop to purchase their reading materials and they all say Starlight Glimmer is the best tutor ever.”

“Well, the only pony they have to compare me to is Twilight,” said Starlight teasingly. “And we all know what a disaster that turned out to be.”

“Hey, that colt went on to discover evolution!” Twilight snapped defensively. “You should be thanking me!”

“So what class are you teaching?” asked Spike.

“Professor Inkwell’s Advanced Spellcasting class,” Starlight answered brightly.

“Ugh, those classes were the worst,” Twilight groaned. “Professor Inkwell always gave me such a hard time, even when I did everything perfectly – which I always do, by the way.”

“It’s amazing your ego could even fit through the door,” said Spike, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, I remember she never liked you back in school,” Moon Dancer commented.

“She always held a grudge against me all because of one incident,” Twilight complained.

“An incident you repeated twenty-seven times,” Spike pointed out.

“Hey, fourteen of those were your fault, if I recall correctly!” Twilight snapped; Spike shrugged his shoulder nonchalantly and went back to his ruby-encrusted cheesecake.

“So many questions…,” Starlight muttered.

“Anyway, I know you’ll do well in class, Starlight,” said Moon Dancer confidently. “You’re a natural teacher. Those colts and fillies will be lucky to have you.”

“You can’t be any worse than Professor Inkwell,” Twilight grumbled.

“But a word of advice,” said Moon Dancer, suddenly serious. “First impressions are everything. What you do will reflect on how they see you as a teacher.”

“Gee, no pressure or anything,” said Starlight sarcastically.

“If you want my advice, try make friends with the students,” Twilight offered. “You know, be open, honest, and comforting. Make them feel like you're somepony they would want to get along with. And always make sure to smile. Research shows that smiling makes ponies feel more at ease. And be sure not to go too hard on them or they might react negatively to the situation."

“Like that colt you made drop out?” asked Spike.

“Discovered – evolution!” Twilight shouted, slamming her hoof on the table, making the plates clatter.

“On an unrelated matter,” Moon Dancer quickly backtracked. “Twilight might have the right idea. Building trust with the students would be a good place to start. From what I remember at school, Professor Inkwell was always strict with everypony and it made her very unpopular with the students. They might respond better to a…softer touch.”

“Yeah…yeah, okay, I can do that,” said Starlight. She felt a twinge of uncertainty in her chest, but taking advice from her friends was better than going in without a battle plan. “Right, make friends with the students, make a good first impression. Should be easy…right?”











Starlight made sure to come to the school an hour early to prepare herself and calm her nerves. The plan backfired because the strenuous period of awkward silence left her alone with her thoughts, which ran through every worst-case scenario possible.

She wanted to make a good first impression with the students, so she went to Sassy Saddles the previous day to pick out a new outfit. The mare had hooked Starlight up with a dark pink power suit that exuded confidence, and (hopefully) hid the fact that she had no idea what she was doing.

After the warning bell had rang, everypony had stampeded to their respective classrooms, leaving the halls thankfully empty so that no one could bother Starlight as she made her way to Professor Inkwell’s classroom. In what seemed like no time at all, the lilac mare found herself standing outside the Advanced Spellcasting, able to hear the student chattering on the other side of the door. Starlight paused and performed a few deep breathing exercises that Twilight had shown her. Surprisingly, she felt a bit more relaxed, but not completely.

“Okay, Starlight, you can do this,” she said to herself. “Be strong, be confident, and be friendly.”

She exhaled one final deep breath and turned the knob with her horn. There was a flurry of motion and a cacophony of scraping seats as the door swung inward. When she stepped inside, all the young colts and fillies were in their seats, sitting up straight and staring ahead resolutely. Professor Inkwell had a commanding presence in the classroom, Starlight realized.

There were a lot of confused faces on the student’s expressions as the lilac mare waltzed in. She set her briefcase on Professor Inkwell’s desk and stood in front of the blackboard, giving the students the biggest encouraging smile she could muster.

“Hello, class,” Starlight greeted sweetly. She levitated a piece of chalk and wrote her name on the board in fancy looped cursive. “My name is Starlight Glimmer. But you can call me Starlight, or Professor Glimmer if that’s what you’re comfortable with. I – “

“Aren’t you the school tutor?” a bright-orange filly near the back interrupted. “Isn’t your office on the other side of the school.”

“I bet she got lost,” a white colt in the second row snickered.

“No, I didn’t get lost, though that would be pretty funny, wouldn’t it?” Starlight chuckled nervously. “But, yeah, no, I’m substituting for Professor Inkwell. Now according to – “

“What happened to Professor Inkwell?” the same orange filly interrupted again.

“It’s very rude to interrupt somepony while they’re talking, Miss…,” Starlight said, her smile twitching uncomfortably.

“Chief Maker,” said the orange filly.

“Well, Miss Chief Maker,” said Starlight. “To answer your question, Professor Inkwell is away at a conference, so I will be handling her classes for the next few days.”

“So old ironflanks is out on vacay, eh?" a lime-green colt said haughtily, kicking his hooves up on the seat in front of him, to the annoyance of the filly sitting there.

“Er, I don’t think Professor Inkwell would like you calling her that,” said Starlight anxiously.

“Excuse me, Professor Glimmer, but I do believe we are getting off track,” a nasally filly with taped glasses interjected. “It has already been six minutes and thirty-six seconds since class has started and I do believe we are – “

“Aw, cram it, nerd!” Chief Maker shouted, tossing a paper ball at the filly’s head.

“No, no, she’s right, we should get started on the lesson,” said Starlight, grateful for the change of subject. “Now, according to the lesson plans that Professor Inkwell left with me, you’re studying transmogrification this week.”

Starlight grabbed the chalk with her horn and started drawing a diagram of the different phases of matter on the board.

“Transmogrification is easy to understand, even if it’s difficult in practice,” Starlight explained, speaking more confidently as she wrote on the board. The actual teaching part was where she shined. “It is the art of altering matter at a subatomic level, or to put it simply, changing an object from one thing or another. Ancient unicorns developed the concept of transmogrification based on the observation of Changelings – “

CRUNCH!

Starlight’s train of through derailed and the chalk scratched across the board, making a loud screeching noise that caused everypony to cover their ears. The lilac mare paused in momentary silence before she heard the loud “crunch!” again. Starlight spun around, bewildered, following the noise halfway up the rows.

The colt who had kicked up their hooves had somehow acquired a bag of potato chips. He chewed on another chip with a distractive “crunch!” and the filly who was sitting in front of him winced, shooting a heated glare over her shoulder. The colt noticed her and Starlight’s stares, but didn’t seem to think much of them as he continued eating unnecessarily loud.

“Um, I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to be eating in class,” said Starlight timidly.

“I’m hungry,” the colt explained though a mouthful of chip, aggravating the filly in front of him with every crunch. “And I didn’t eat breakfast this morning.”

“Well, I don’t think potato chips are a very good substitute for a balanced breakfast,” Starlight commented. “Regardless, I would ask that you please put those away so we can continue the lesson.”

“Ugh, so lame,” the colt rolled his eyes, but complied with her wishes and stuffed the bag of chips somewhere out of sight. The filly in front of him shot him with a condescending smirk.

Starlight sighed with relief. One disaster reverted.

She turned back to the blackboard and continued, “As I was saying, ancient unicorns developed transmogrification based on the Changeling, noting how they could completely alter their physical forms to match their desired shape. No significant progress was made until Star Swirl the Bearded – EEP!”

Starlight nearly jumped out of her suit as a large, wet spit wad slapped the blackboard, smudging her impressive drawing of Star Swirl. The students snickered behind their hooves, immediately looking away and whistling nonchalantly as the substitute rounded on them. Starlight narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but said nothing. She ripped the spit wad off the board with her magic, dumped it in the trash bin, and resumed her lesson.

“…Star Swirl the Bearded journeyed through the Sibearian Tundra and encountered a group of scientists called Anti-Entro –  OH, COME ON!”

Another spit wad – even larger than the first one – had smacked the blackboard and sprayed spittle all over Starlight’s face. The lilac mare gagged while her students laughed themselves silly, some of them banging their hooves. Starlight frowned; her ears folded down sadly. This was not going the way she had hoped.

“Okay, maybe we can skip the background information and go straight to the practical lesson,” said Starlight. That seemed to catch their interest, several of them leaning forward eagerly. Starlight used her horn to unlatch her briefcase. “I thought we could make this lesson a little more fun. And nothing says fun like…CAKE!”

She spun her briefcase around with a flourish, revealing several whole cakes (provided by Cinnamon Chai’s Tea and Cake Shop.) The students cheered and Starlight finally felt like she had done something right. The lilac mare divided the cakes into even slices and distributed them among the students, though some of them were noticeable salivating.

“Now, now, hold your ponies,” said Starlight jokingly. “Don’t eat them just yet. I thought we could start off with something simple for the lesson. I want you all to concentrate on your cakes and think about your favorite flavor. It could be chocolate, or strawberry, or lemon meringue. Then, you are going to use your magic and transmogrify into whatever type of cake you want it to be. I don’t expect most of you to get it right on the first try. That’s why I made sure to bring extra. So don’t be afraid to….”

Starlight stuttered to a stop when her eyes fell on Chief Maker in the back row. She was leaning back in her chair, looking content, with crumbs all over her muzzle and her plate empty.

“Miss Chief Maker, did you eat your cake?” Starlight groaned.

“What?” Chief Maker shrugged. “You can’t put cake in front of me and not expect me to eat it.”

“Well, you’ll be allowed to eat it when the lesson is over,” said Starlight exasperatedly. She levitated a new slice to Chief Maker. Starlight didn’t like the way she was grinning so smugly. “Back to what I was saying, the key to transmogrification is intent. So when you’re channeling your magic, you must be – “

Starlight stammered off track yet again when Chief Maker levitated her new cake slice and threw it at the back of one of the student’s head, earning an angry glare from them.

“Miss Chief Maker!” Starlight shouted. “You’re supposed to be using that for your transmogrifying lesson! Not throwing it at the other students!”

“But I did transmogrify it,” said Chief Maker, snickering. “I turned the cake into mush using his head.” The filly openly cackled until she was served her just desserts to the face. Chief Maker glared dangerously at the colt who was snickering near the front row. “Oh, a wise pony, eh?”

“No, please don’t – “ Starlight started.

But the troublemaking filly ignored the substitute in favor of grabbing her neighbor’s slice and tossed it across the classroom. Her target ducked and ended up splattering the filly sitting behind him. The colt snickered at her misfortune until the filly picked up her own cake and smashed it into his muzzle.

“Please don’t start a – “ Starlight whimpered.

“CAKE FIGHT!!!”

All Tartarus broke loose as colts and fillies bounced between their seats, flinging confectionary across the classroom in a whirlwind of multicolored frosting. It would be twenty minutes before another teacher would come to investigate the commotion and put an end to the impromptu cake war. By the time everypony left the classroom, they were covered from horn-to-hoof in cake batter – except for Starlight, who had been curled up in a fetal position underneath her desk.





When the final bell rang for the end of the school day, Starlight booked it out of that building faster than Sunset on Sweet Apple Cider day. The next thing she knew, Starlight was planted on a stool at Trixie’s wagon, chugging down half a dozen Fizzy Fruit Potions like an obsessive drunk. Tempest and Grubber were in the other seats, sipping their potions much more calmly as Starlight ranted over her terrible experience in the classroom.

Trixie frowned as Starlight chugged another of her product, slammed it on the counter, and demanded, “Give me another.”

“Nuh-uh, Starlight Glimmer has already consumed more than what is recommended,” Trixie denied.

“I’ll say when I’ve had enough!” hissed Starlight, slamming the bottle again. “Now give me another!”

“Sorry, but Trixie is cutting Starlight Glimmer off,” said Trixie firmly. She levitated the collection of bottles off the counter, ignoring Starlight’s pitiful whining. “Trixie is doing this as a friend, Starlight Glimmer.”

“Why does nothing ever work out for me?” Starlight moaned pathetically, slamming her forehead on the counter. Then she looked up at Trixie inquisitively and asked, “And shouldn’t you be working on your new bar right now?”

“The contractors Twilight Sparkle hired want Trixie out while they renovate Trixie’s new establishment,” said Trixie as she started wiping down the bottles. “So Trixie has been wandering around, peddling her wares, while trying to think of a new name for Trixie’s bar. What do you mares think about…Trixie’s Great and Powerful Performance Pub.”

“Eh…,” Starlight said, shaking her hoof uncertainly.

“It’s a bit extra,” Grubber commented awkwardly.

“It’s stupid,” said Tempest bluntly.

“Drat!” Trixie cursed, putting out a list from under her hat and crossing something off.

“Back to Starlight’s issue,” Tempest redirected the conversation back to the lilac mare. “You know what you did wrong, right? You were too soft. You tried being nice and they sniffed out your weakness like sharks to blood. Handing out free cake was just asking for trouble.”

“Twilight said I should try to be friendly,” Starlight mumbled.

“Twilight may be book smart, but she is pony dumb,” Trixie remarked, catching Starlight by surprise. “Starlight Glimmer is their teacher, not their friend. You need to assert your dominance over those little punks.”

“I never thought I’d say this out loud and sober,” said Tempest, “but Trixie’s right. You can’t get friendly with your students or they’ll walk all over you. Which they already did, from the looks of it.” She gestured to the goop of frosting dangling off Starlight’s mane. “Back when I was…uh, in school, my instructor was a real hardflank. I remember this one-time somepony got caught passing a note and they got flogged in front of the whole class."

“Doesn’t that seem a little excessive?” asked Starlight worriedly.

“Yes, but nopony else caused trouble again,” said Tempest with a nonchalant shrug, sipping her Fizzy Fruit Potion.

“I hope what they’re trying to say is,” Grubber chimed with his two bits, “you need to stick up for yourself. If someone starts acting up, you need to set them straight. You’re the teacher. You can’t let them push you around like that. You need to march into that classroom tomorrow and show them that you’re not taking any more of their flak!”

“Whoa, where’s this Grubber been hiding?” said Tempest with an impressed smirk.

“Hmm, yeah, I see your point,” Starlight hummed thoughtfully. “They think just because Professor Inkwell isn’t around that they can do whatever they want? Well, not anymore!” She shouted with conviction, slamming her hoof on the counter. “No more miss nice pony! Trixie! Give me another bottle!”

“Trixie already told Starlight Glimmer she is cut off,” Trixie answered calmly, inspecting the glass she just wiped.

“Well, I’m demanding you give me another bottle! NOW!” Starlight yelled with authority.

Trixie’s response was to pull the stool out from underneath Starlight’s flank, dropping her like bad habit, while still polishing off the potion bottles. Starlight groaned as she rolled on the ground, holding the spot where she bumped her head. Tempest chuckled playfully.

“You want some tips?” she asked with a teasing smile.

“Please and thank you,” Starlight whined.











The next day of school arrived and the warning bell had already gone off. Professor Inkwell’s – of should I say, Starlight’s – students had already filled the class. Unlike the previous day, none of them were in their assigned seats. They were standing around, talking to each other loudly, unafraid of getting caught by the teacher. Chief Maker had her hind hooves kicked up on the chair in front of her, her front hooves folded behind her head in a relaxed pose.

“Think she’s gonna show up today?” one of the troublemaking colts from yesterday asked her.

“After what we did, I’d be surprised if she wasn’t on her way to Yakyakistan,” Chief Maker cackled.

But when the final bell rang, the door flew open so hard, it bounced off the wall and created a spiderweb of cracks. The door had literally been kicked open by an army boot, which was levitating in the air with a familiar turquoise aura. The boot was soon followed by their substitute teacher; Chief Maker gulped loudly when she laid eyes on the sub.

Starlight had done a complete one-eighty from yesterday. Gone was the clean-cut suit and replaced by dark-green military fatigues. Her mane was slicked back with copious amounts of gel underneath a field cap, a pair of aviator glasses, a set of dog tags (that had Spitfire’s name on them) dangling around her neck, and four heavy boots on her hooves (which begged the question why she needed an extra one to kick the door.)

Starlight marched in front of the blackboard and about faced toward the students. She tilted her sunglasses with her horn, shooting a furious glare at the colts and fillies that weren’t in their seats. Needless to say, the students found their way back into their own chairs in record time, all of them sitting up straight. Though immensely satisfied with their reaction, Starlight didn’t let it show; she couldn’t falter now. She removed her sunglasses and stuffed them in her pocket.

“All right, you little dirtbags!” Starlight shouted angrily; the students reeled back, terrified. “I hope you had your fun yesterday, because that ends today! We’re going to learn transmogrification or die trying!”

“Die?!” A filly in the front row squeaked.

“Okay, maybe ‘die’ is a bit exaggerated,” Starlight admitted lightly. “But I’m still gonna work you ponies to the bone! And I don’t want to hear any excuses!” A colt in the front row shakily raised his hoof. “What?!”

“Um, can I go to the bathroom?” the colt asked timidly.

“Oh, you have to use the bathroom, huh?” Starlight started calmly…then rushed forward and slammed her hooves on the desk with a thunderous THUD! “Well, that’s too bad! This is my classroom and you are going to hold it in until I say so! Understood, you little snot?!”

A moment of silence carried across the classroom…one that was quickly punctured by an awkward tinkling noise.

“…On second thought, I don’t have to go anymore,” the colt muttered embarrassingly.

“You disgust me,” said Starlight harshly. The colt’s ears flapped down, whimpering sadly. Starlight walked back to the blackboard and continued shouting, “Listen up, maggots! You are going to keep you mouths shut while I teach you the history of transmogrification! Am I clear?!” A few students mumbled under their breaths. “I said: AM – I – CLEAR?!”

“Ma’am, yes, ma’am!” the students cried fearfully in unison.

“Good!” Starlight huffed. She turned to face the board and started drawing. “Going back to where we left off, Star Swirl the Bearded was inspired by two Sibearian scientists name Frederica Telsa and Lieserl Einstein – “

While the substitute’s flank was turned to them, going over the complicated history of some old wizard, one colt near the back row was slowly reaching for his saddlebag. He quietly pulled out a bag of chips he had snuck into school…until they were ripped from his hooves by a turquoise aura. The colt sat up straight, gulping loudly as Starlight glared at him from the front of the class.

“I think I made this perfectly clear yesterday: NO – SNACKS – IN – CLASS!” Starlight roared furiously.

To emphasize the seriousness of her point, she blasted the bag with her horn, turning it to a pile of soot on the colt’s desk. The colt whimpered and tried to shrink himself out of Starlight’s piercing gaze. The substitute huffed and turned back to the board.

“Dr. Telsa and Dr. Einstein tutored Star Swirl in the science behind the four common phases of matter: solid, liquid, gas, and plasma,” Starlight continued, drawing vague shapes of the phases. “Star Swirl combined this knowledge with earlier research on Changling observations – “

In the middle row, ducking behind his desk, one colt glared daggers at the back of Starlight’s head. If this sub thought she could scare them, she had another thing coming! He had been chewing on a scrap of paper for several minutes, getting it nice and moist for his attack. He brought the straw to his muzzle and spat it out like a bullet.

The colt gleefully watched the spit wad fly across the air towards Starlight’s head…when it suddenly stopped in midair, captured by a familiar aura. Starlight still had her flank turned as she shot the spit wad back from whence it came, launching it into the back of the colt’s throat. The colt coughed and sputtered as he fell backwards over of his chair.

Starlight slammed the chalk down with a clatter, causing the entire class to tense up. Slowly (read: menacingly), she faced her students and gave them the hardest look she could muster.

“Since everypony doesn’t seem interested in the lecture,” Starlight said in a menacingly calm tone, “let’s move on to the practical portion of the lesson.” She opened a draw from Professor Inkwell’s desk and pulled out a lump of coal. “It’s a simple assignment: transmogrify this coal into a diamond. Shouldn’t be too hard for you guys since you obviously know enough that you don’t need to pay attention to the lesson. So, any volunteers?”

None of the students offered. Most of them were looking down at their desks, fiddling with their hooves, or looking anywhere but Starlight.

“What wrong?” said Starlight with a sarcastic tone. “You were all so energetic yesterday. Well, since no one seems to want to volunteer, I guess I’ll haver to pick somepony. How about…Miss Chief Maker?”

“M-me?” Chief Maker sputtered.

“Yes, you,” said Starlight pointedly. “Come to the front of the class and show everypony how it’s done.”

Chief Maker looked like she’d rather run in the opposite direction, maybe even through the wall. The trouble making filly slid out of her seat and walked down the aisle with looming dread. She kept her head bowed in fear as she stood in front of the substitute, who was giving her a cold, piercing stare. Starlight dropped the lump of coal at Chief Maker’s hooves, looking at her expectantly.

“Go ahead, Miss Chief Maker,” said Starlight coolly. “Turn it into a diamond. We’re all waiting.”

Chief Maker let out a small whine and reluctantly flared up her horn. The lump of coal glowed with the same energy and wiggled on the spot, but the aura quickly faded. Nothing had changed.

“I – I can’t do it,” mumbled Chief Maker, rubbing her hoof unconsciously. “I don’t know how.”

“Gee, if only you had been paying attention to the lesson,” said Starlight harshly. “Now, turn that coal into a diamond!”

The filly tried again with the same result, “I can’t!”

“Then maybe you should’ve tried learning instead of causing troubling for everypony!” Starlight snapped. “Now keep trying! We’ll stay here all day if we have to!”

“I…I….”

“What, you got more to say?!” Starlight yelled directly at Chief Maker’s face. “Got something funny?! Huh, do you?!” the filly whimpered like a wounded puppy. “Didn’t think so! Maybe now you’ll think twice before acting like a little brat!”

And then, all Tartarus broke loose once more as Chief Maker broke down in tears. Starlight’s hardened façade immediately crumbled, panic flaring up as the filly cried literal waterfalls.

“No-no-no-no-no! Please don’t cry!” Starlight pleaded. “I – I didn’t mean it! I was just – I mean – um,” She turned to the students. “Can somepony help….”

But one look around the room told her everything she needed to know. The students were edging from her, afraid. No, they were downright terrified. Starlight bit her lip with worry. This whole thing was backfiring on her as bad as yesterday did. And it only got worse when a gangly stallion in a lab coat and glasses came barging into the room.

“What in the name of the periodic table is going on in here?!” he shouted with worry.

“Professor Bill Neigh,” Starlight cringed. “I – I’m sorry. I was just trying to be tough and, well, things got out of hoof.”

“Out of hoof?” Professor Bill Neigh, doing a once over of the classroom. “Starlight, these students look like they’ve been emotionally traumatized.”

“That’s…not completely inaccurate,” Starlight admitted weakly.

“I’m sorry, Starlight, but I think you need to go to the principal's office,” said Professor Bill Neigh, levitating Chief Maker to his shoulder and rubbing a comforting hoof on her back. “I’ll take over for the rest of the period.”

“But – “

“Now, Miss Glimmer,” Professor Bill Neigh said with a tone of finality.

Starlight closed her mouth and hanged her head, trudging out of the room in shame.





And that was how she found herself sitting outside the principal’s office, sighing in dismay. She had ditched the uniform and ruffled her mane back to it natural state, honestly glad to get the goop off her head. But it did very little to relieve her feelings of dread.

“I’ve never been called to the principal’s office before,” Starlight mumbled. “Then again, I was pretty much homeschooled my whole life.”

“Starlight Glimmer, please come in here,” a familiar voice called from inside the office.

Starlight exhaled one more dreadful sigh before inside the principal’s room. But when she opened the door, she stopped at the threshold and did a doubletake when she met eyes with – 

“Princess Luna?” Starlight gasped, genuinely surprised to see the ruler of Equestria sitting behind the principal’s desk. And wearing a blue tie with a crescent moon at that. “You’re the principal?”

“The school is named after me,” Luna stated obviously.

“Fair,” Starlight acknowledged.

“Please close the door and take a seat,” Luna requested with a level tone. Starlight did as she was asked and sat silently on the provided chair. Luna steepled her hooves and locked eyes with the unicorn. “Now, what’s this I’m hearing about you traumatizing students.”

Starlight exhaled thrice and answered in a defeated voice, “I’m a horrible teacher. I have no idea what I’m doing. I should’ve just told Professor Inkwell I wasn’t cut out for the job.”

“Okay, hold on, back up,” said Luna. “Start from the beginning, if you please.”

“Well, Professor Inkwell had to go to a conference in Fillydelphia and she asked me to sub for her class,” Starlight explained. “I was kinda nervous, so I asked Twilight and Moon Dancer if they could give me some tips.”

“You went to Twilight Sparkle for advice?” Luna asked surprisingly. “She was brilliant, but one of the worst students this school ever had. I’ll never forget the Year of the Twenty-Seven Incidents?”

“Will somepony tell me what that means?!” Starlight cried.

“Anyway, you were saying?” said Luna, brushing the subject off casually.

Starlight huffed, but continued, “They said I should act friendly with the students, so I did. I tried being nice when they were acting out and I even tried to make the lessons fun with cake. And – well, I’m sure you heard what happened.”

"I have received a few colorful comments from the janitor concerning the incident," said Luna.

“Right," Starlight mumbled sheepishly. "Well, after that disaster, I went to Trixie and Tempest – “

“First Twilight Sparkle, then Tempest Shadow and Trixie Lulamoon?” said Luna dumbfoundedly. “And you thought that was a good idea?"

“In retrospect, it wasn’t one of my better decisions,” Starlight admitted. “They told me I should be stricter with the students. You know, lay down the law. Tempest gave me some tips on how to be tough. But now I realize that I may have taken the whole drill sergeant thing a little too far.”

“Miss Chief Maker certainly seemed to think so,” said Luna calmly.

“Maybe I should just quit while I’m behind,” Starlight mumbled in defeat. “Professor Inkwell made a mistake. I’m not cut out to be a teacher.”

“Starlight Glimmer…,” Luna spoke in a soft, sympathetic tone. “I’ve known Professor Inkwell since I established this school little over seventy years ago. In fact, she was the first pony I chose to teach here. And over the decades, I’ve learned to trust her judgment. If she thought you were capable of teaching, then I believe her.”

“But I screw up so badly – twice!” Starlight bemoaned. “I tried being nice and they trampled all over me. I tried being strict and I potentially caused a filly to need a lifetime of therapy!”

“You went to two extremes,” said Luna knowledgably. “But instead of trying to choose one or the other, you need to find a balance between them.”

“What do you mean?” asked Starlight curiously.

“A teacher needs to be compassionate and understanding,” said Luna. “We are shaping the lives of the next generation so that they may pass on what they know someday. But a teacher also needs to have a firm hoof." She stomped her hoof to emphasize the point. "There will be troublemakers, certainly, and it is our duty to set them straight so that they may succeed in the real world. I understand that it may be difficult to find the right balance between kind and strict. I’ve had several students for over a thousand years and I’m still messing up. You remember how Sunset was when you first met her?”

“Vaguely,” said Starlight. “I’ve mostly just known her the way she is now.”

“Well, before Daybreaker, she had a terrible habit of lying and quite an ego,” said Luna. “I shudder to think of what she would’ve been like she hadn’t met you girls. What I’m trying to say, Starlight, is that there is no such thing as a perfect teacher. You’re going to make mistakes, there is no doubt. All you can do is try your best and use each new experience to grow into a better version of yourself. The students aren’t the only ponies learning, after all.”

“…You really think I can be a teacher?” Starlight asked meekly.

“I think you have the potential,” said Luna. “Now about your punishment….”













The next day of class arrived with a looming cloud of apprehension and despair. Hushed chatter was passed among the students, most of them wondering if Starlight was still substituting and what she had planned for them. The babbled instantly died when the classroom door opened and Starlight Glimmer stepped inside. She wasn’t wearing a suit or military fatigues; she was just her normal, average self.

The lilac mare walked silently to Professor Inkwell’s desk and paused. She performed a few sets of Twilight’s recommended breathing exercises, which drew a lot of strange stares from her students. When her nerves were calm enough, Starlight turned to address them.

“Hello, everypony,” she said in a calm and earnest voice. “I just wanted to apologize for what happened yesterday. I was completely out of line. I know it’s no excuse, but…it was my first-time teaching in front of a whole class and I was really worried about screwing up. I tried being nice, but you took advantage of me and caused a lot of trouble. Then when I tried acting stricter, I crossed a line I shouldn’t have. And for that, I am deeply, truly sorry.” She ended, bowing her head.

The students exchanged looks, questioning the sincerity of Starlight’s apology. The clatter of a chair moving drew everypony’s attention to the back row where Chief Maker had risen from her seat. She and Starlight locked eyes with one another…then Chief Maker’s gaze fell sideways, scratching the back of her head uncomfortably.

“I guess it was kinda my fault, too,” Chief Maker admitted. “I shouldn’t have been causing trouble just because you’re the sub. I kinda deserved to get yelled at.”

“No, you didn’t,” Starlight shook her head. “As your teacher, I had no right to belittle you like that.”

“Well, what I’m trying to say is…I’m sorry, okay?” Chief Maker ended lamely, plopping back in her chair.

“Thank you for your apology, Miss Chief Maker,” said Starlight, smiling lightly. “Listen, everypony. I want to be your teacher and I will try to be kind and understanding. But you have to understand that if anypony starts misbehaving, I will set you straight. Maybe not as bad as it was yesterday, but I will not allow you to cause trouble for this class. Am I clear?”

“Yes, ma’am,” the students responded in synch.

“That goes double for you, Miss Chief Maker,” said Starlight pointedly.

“Hey, I apologized!” Chief Maker complained.

“Just covering all my bases,” said Starlight teasingly. She picked you the chalk with her horn, turned to the blackboard, and started to scribble notes. “Continuing where we left off yesterday, Star Swirl worked in conjunction with Dr. Einstein and Dr. Telsa from the Anti-Entropy Research Group in Sibearia on what would be the precursor for transmogrification magic – “

While the students diligently took notes of Starlight’s lecture, Princess/Principal Luna watched from the small window in the door, smiling proudly. She was holding up a small mirror in her hoof through which Professor Inkwell’s image reflected off the glass.

“It would seem that Starlight Glimmer has found the right balance that suits her,” said Luna.

“Eh, she’s still a little green,” Professor Inkwell sniffed. “But she’s got spunk. I wouldn’t have asked her to fill in for me if I didn’t think she could handle it. Even if she is friends with Twilight.”

“Maybe she’ll end up replacing you someday, old friend,” Luna commented, smirking.

“That’s the idea,” said Professor Inkwell. “That Starlight girl has the makings of a great educator. One that I would feel safe entrusting the future of your school to…. But don’t think I’m going anywhere any time soon! I plan to outlive all those whippersnappers!”

“If it’s you, I believe it,” Luna chuckled.

Luna took one last look inside the classroom as Starlight started quizzing the students and walked away with a proud smile on her lips.
> A Diamond in the Ruff
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A chilly wind blew across the balcony of the tallest tower of Princess Luna’s castle, though the Mare of the Night hardly felt it due to her natural acclimate to the cold. Fall was soon coming to an end and preparing to make way for the winter season. With her magical Far-sight, she could see the pegasi of Cloudsdale working meticulously on the fabrication of snow clouds. Luna had to admire the  mares and stallions working tirelessly to make each individual flake as unique as the next.

But there would be time to think of the winter season later. Today was an important day, after all.

Princess Luna walked back inside and closed the doors behind her. A small smile crossed her muzzle when she saw her elder sister fussing with her new dress. She remembered how much Celestia loathed fancy parties when they were children and it seemed she hadn’t grown out of it in one thousand years. Fortunately, Luna had the foresight to enlist Celestia’s closest friends to make sure she behaved.

Lemon Hearts was flattening out all the creases in Celestia’s new dress (a very expensive dress made exclusively by the Canterlot Carousel’s mysterious owner.) Twinkleshine was running a brush through Celestia’s wavy rainbow mane, but appeared to be pulling harder than necessary if the alicorn’s constant wincing was anything to go by. Lyra was in charge of Celestia’s makeup, but the minty unicorn was rather indecisive, slathering copious amounts of product on the princess, only to wipe it away and try something else. And Minuette was…tangled up in the curtains for reasons that escaped Luna.

“You are looking quite lovely, sister,” Luna complimented.

“Is all this – gah – really necessary, Luna,” asked Celestia, grimacing when Twinkleshine pulled her mane again.

“Of course it’s necessary, Tia!” said Lemon Hearts firmly. “You have to look your absolute best for your official coronation! Now stop fidgeting – I need to press your lapels.”

“But why do I need a coronation?” Celestia moaned like a whiny child. “I’m already a princess.”

“In name, certainly,” said Luna. “But it has been a thousand years since your imprisonment, before the establishment of Canterlot and the kingdom. Though you are an alicorn, you are not properly recognized as a princess. That is why we are undertaking this coronation for you.”

“But can’t we do that without all the prissy dresses and face paint,” Celestia complained.

“If you fought as hard as you whine, Daybreaker might’ve actually beat the Mane 6,” Lemon Hearts sniffed.

“I thought you were supposed to be my friends,” Celestia pouted.

“And friends tell their friends when they’re being dumb,” Lyra remarked playfully with a final swish of eyeliner. “There, that oughta be good. Then again, I don’t know a lick about makeup. I’m au naturel.”

“Mane’s done,” Twinkleshine announced.

“And your dress is prim and proper,” said Lemon Hearts in a self-satisfied tone.

“Thank you all for aiding my sister in the most important of days,” said Luna, bowing her head gratefully while smacking her sister to stop her from fidgeting. She turned back to Minuette, who now dangling by her hoof from the curtain rope. “And, uh, you too, Minuette. For er…moral support.”

“It was no-o-o-o-o problem,” said Minuette proudly. “Anything to help my best friend, Tia!” She started going red-faced, looking woozy. “Hey…can you guys stop…spinning the room like that.” Celestia magically cut the rope, dropping Minuette on the floor. “Thank you….”

“That’s the dress and makeup done,” Luna muttered, summoning a Twilight ChecklistTM, and checked off a couple of the boxes. “Twilight Sparkle and her friends are organizing the seating in the throne room. I tasked Bon-Bon and the others with the reception: a DJ-PON3 concert with a Wonderbolts show. Shining Armor should be handling security (if I can ever find that stallion.) All that’s left is…your crown!”

“My…crown?” Celestia parroted.

“Yes, your crown,” said Luna proudly. “Every princess needs her own crown. I was thinking about a large gold one to match your stature. I’ve requisitioned the Royal Gem Keeper to obtain the greatest gemstone they can find.”

“You really didn’t have to,” said Celestia embarrassingly.

“Nonsense! Nothing is too good for my sister,” said Luna happily. Just then, somepony knocked on the door. “Oh, speak of the draconequus.” The princess magically opened the door with her horn and Sunset came pacing into the room with a notable urgency. “Sunset Shimmer, we were just talking about – “

“We have a problem, your majesty,” Sunset interrupted hurriedly, startling the princess. “We don’t have the gemstone for Princess Celestia’s crown. I’m afraid something terrible has happened.”

“Sunset Shimmer, I’m sure you’re overreacting – which is what I would expect from Twilight Sparkle,” said Luna nonchalantly. “I’m sure the Royal Gem Keeper is just running late – “

“You placed the order for the gemstone a week ago, remember?” said Sunset matter-of-factly. “You know they’re reputation. They should’ve been able to find something within two days. I started getting worried, so I sent a to them a letter asking what’s taking so long. This was their response.” 

She levitated a tiny flashcard from behind her back and passed it over to Luna. The Night Mare looked it over, but there were only four words written in a scratchy font:


Gems are gone. Sorry.


“What?” said Luna, bewildered. “The gems are gone? What is that supposed to mean?”

“It’s seems rather self-explanatory,” Sunset commented. “Without those gemstones, I’m afraid we won’t be able to complete Princess Celestia’s crown in time for the ceremony.”

“What?! No crown?!” Lemon Hearts screamed, making Luna and Sunset jump. They had forgotten Celestia and her friends were still there. “You can’t have a princess without a crown! That’s like…like…a unicorn without their horn! Or a pegasus without wings.”

“Those are called Earth Ponies, Lemon,” said Lyra.

“I’m afraid we have more pressing concerns than mere jewelry,” said Luna gravely. “If all the gemstones have suddenly gone missing, then Canterlot could be facing a financial crisis.”

“Whaddya mean?” asked Twinkleshine.

“Canterlot was built on top of a large system of underground tunnels called the Crystal Caves,” Luna explained. “Inside those caverns is the largest depository of precious gemstones in Equestria and the source of Canterlot’s vast wealth. But if the caverns have been cleared of gems, Canterlot’s economy could plummet. Everypony in the capital will find themselves homeless and destitute. Most ponies here won’t know how to survive without their money.”

“That’s what you get for coddling them,” Sunset remarked.

“If situation is dire, then we should investigate,” said Celestia resolutely. “I will head down to the caves and – “

“Oh, no you don’t!” Lemon Hearts forcefully, pushing the taller alicorn back. “We literally spent hours making you look all pretty. I am not going to let you ruin all our hard work by running around in a dark and dirty cave.”

“But – “

“If the princess went missing during the ceremony, it would arouse suspicion,” Luna stated factually. “Until we can figure out what is happening in the caverns, we need to go about as if everything is normal. We don’t want to cause a panic.”

“Then who will go down to the caverns?” asked Celestia.

“Ooh, ooh, we can do it!” Minuette suddenly popped in from out of nowhere, pulling Lemon Hearts, Twinkleshine, and Lyra into an abrupt group hug. “We can go down to those cave thingys and find Tia’s sparkly rocks! We’re her best friends after all!”

“Ew, do we have to?” Lemon Hearts grimaced. “They’re so…dank and grimy.”

“Suck it up, you big foal,” Twinkleshine scoffed, rolling her eyes at her twin. “It’s for Tia, so no complaining.”

“I think it could be fun,” said Lyra, clapping her hooves excitedly. “We’ll be going on our own little adventure. Just like the Mane Six.”

“I’ll come along, too,” Sunset offered. “I’ve been down in those caverns a few times myself."

“I think the public will notice if the princess’s student is missing just as well,” Luna shut the idea down, tapping her muzzle thoughtfully. “But I would hate to send my sister's friends down there without providing them with a guide. Somepony who could navigate the caverns. Somepony who has experience working underground for lengthy periods of time. Somepony who knows how work with rocks like…a rock farmer.”

“That is an oddity specific requirement,” said Celestia dryly. “But this is Canterlot. Where are we going to find a rock farmer in Canterlot?”

Just then, the door flew open and Trixie appeared at the threshold, bouncing on her hooves and biting her lip with a sense of urgency as she scanned the room.

“Darn it, this isn’t the bathroom either!” Trixie complained. “Why is this castle so big?!”

“…Don’t you just love unrealistically convenient timing?” said Sunset, smirking playfully.





“Remind Trixie again,” Trixie complained for the hundredth time, “why Trixie is running around in a dark and smelly cave instead of sneaking nibbles in the kitchen when Twilight Sparkle isn’t looking?”

“Stop whining, it’s for the princess,” said Twinkleshine.

Trixie made a big huff, but said nothing else as she led the Celestia Squad by the light of her horn.

With Luna’s assistance (and a quick trip to the nearest bathroom), the team of unicorns discovered the entrance to the Crystal Caves underneath the rug in royal library. A spiraling staircase led them a mile underneath Canterlot, into the heart of the mountain. The brick walls subtly shifted to dull quartz crystal the further they went. What awaited them at the bottom was a long, gloomy tunnel packed with sharp-looking crystals that could poke a pony’s eye out if they weren’t careful.

Lemon Hearts and Lyra lit up their horns to join Trixie’s and flashed them around the cavern. Everywhere they looked, all they could see was quartz crystals, quartz crystals, quartz crystals – oh, wait! Is that – no, it’s just more quartz crystal. Trixie frowned and moved inward with the Celestia Squad right on her flank, swinging her light back and forth. But there was not a single sparkle of a precious gemstone to be found.

“They weren’t kidding,” Twinkleshine commented. “This place has been picked clean.”

“Maybe they finally exhausted their entire supply,” Lyra suggested. “I mean, Canterlot was built over hundreds of years ago. They had to have run out out at some point.”

“Hmm, Trixie doesn’t think so,” Trixie hummed thoughtfully. She flashed her light over an indentation in the crystal, running her hoof of the space and examining it. “Gemstones are like plants. They can grow within a month or two in the right conditions. Feel the dampness in the air and the solidity of the soil. Perfect for gemstone growing. And Princess Luna couldn’t clear out this entire cave system in under a month.”

“How do you know that?” asked Minuette.

“Just a little knowledge Trixie picked up from her days as a rock farmer,” said Trixie proudly.

“And why were you a rock farmer to begin with?” asked Twinkleshine curiously.

“Trixie had to earn her bits somehow until Trixie’s magic career took off,” said Trixie, shrugging nonchalantly. “Trixie learned a few nifty tricks during her time there. Like how to get rid of parasprites and how to identify various types of rocks and gemstones.”

“So if Canterlot hasn’t exhausted its supply of gemstones,” Lyra hummed. “Then the only explanation is – “

“They were stolen.”

The unicorn quintet jumped about a hoof in the air, shrieking, at the new voice that came from behind them. Lemon Hearts flashed her horn light around. A grey Earth Pony with a dead-fish eyes blinked slowly at the party, her purple mane unusually straight and garbed in a plain frock. The Celestia Squad backed up, pondering why an Earth Pony would be lurking in the underground tunnels, but Trixie stepped forward with a flicker of recognition in her eyes.

“Maud?” said Trixie, astonished. “Maud Pie, is that you?”

“Hello, Trixie,” the pony known as Maud Pie greeted tonelessly, her entire demeanor devoid of emotion. “It’s been a while.”

“Too long!” said Trixie brightly. “How’ve you been? Did you get your degree in geology?”

“Graduated valedictorian,” Maud answered monotonously. “I was so happy.”

“Aw, good for you!” said Minuette cheerfully, clapping her hooves.

“Wait, wait, wait, back up for a minute,” Lemon Hearts interjected, shaking her head furiously, then pointed at Trixie. “Who is she and how do you know her?”

“Allow Trixie to introduce a good friend of Trixie’s,” said Trixie with a happy smile, gesturing to the apathetic pony dramatically. “This is Maud Pie. Her family owns the rock farm that Trixie worked at. Maud was Trixie’s rock mentor and one of the nicest ponies Trixie ever had the pleasure of meeting.”

“Please, stop, Trixie, you’re embarrassing me,” said Maud, her expression eternally neutral

“You’re the Royal Gem Keeper?” asked Twinkleshine strangely.

“I guess,” said Maud, shrugging. “I was just searching for a new deposit of corundum minerals consisting of aluminum oxide with trace amounts of iron, titanium, chromium, vanadium, or magnesium. But instead, I found a hidden cache of metastable allotrope carbon. The princess found out and gave me a job working in theses caves.”

“…Uh, translation?” Lyra asked Trixie.

“She was looking for sapphires, but found diamonds instead,” Trixie simplified. The Celestia Squad made a unified ‘Oooh!’ noise. “What kind of backwards world is it where Trixie is the smart one?”

“What kind of dental plan do you get?” Minuette asked randomly.

“Can we get back to the topic at hoof!” Lemon Hearts snapped then turned on Maud. “What did you mean by ‘they were stolen’?”

“The gems were stolen,” Maud answered plainly.

“By who?” asked Lyra.

“Don’t know,” Maud shrugged uncaringly.

“Could you at least explain how it happened,” Twinkleshine requested.

“I guess,” said Maud. “It started about a week ago when Princess Luna sent me a letter asking for a gem for Princess Celestia’s crown. My first thought was a violet variety off silicate mineral quartz – “

“She means an amethyst,” Trixie translated.

“To compliment the gold in the crown,” Maud continued uninterrupted. “But when I went to go grab one from the silicate mineral section, everything was gone. The zirconium silicate, the calcium aluminum iron sorosilicate, the  crystalline boron silicate, and even the iron magnesium manganese alumino-silicate hydroxide.”

“That’s terrible!” Trixie gasped.

“…Did anypony catch a word of that?” Twinkleshine whispered back to the group. Minuette, Lemon Hearts, and Lyra shook their heads dimly.

“And more started disappearing over time,” said Maud. “First it was the beryllium aluminum cyclosilicate, then it was the corundum, then the aluminum fluorine silicate, and the hydrated amorphous silica. Before I knew it, the whole cave had been cleared out.”

“And you never found out who did it?” asked Lemon Hearts.

“Was I supposed to?” asked Maud. Lemon Hearts face-hoofed irritably.

“Okay, we’ve got maybe a half an hour before Tia’s coronation starts,” said Lyra seriously. “They’re not going crown Tia in the beginning, are they?”

“No, according to Twilight Sparkle,” said Trixie, “Princess Luna will be making a speech, followed by several ponies vouching for Princess Celestia’s redemption from the whole Daybreaker incident and her worthiness as royalty. If Twilight Sparkle’s schedule goes smoothing, it should be about forty minutes until the official crowning.”

“Then that gives us over an hour to find the thieves and bring back a gemstone for Tia’s crown,” said Lyra.

“And how’re we gonna catch them?” asked Twinkleshine. “It could take us all day to search the whole mountain.”

“Let’s set a trap!” Minuette offered cheerfully. “We could set some bait and follow the thieves back to their hideout!”

“That’s…actually a pretty good idea,” said Lemon Hearts, sounding impressed.

“But what are we going to use as bait?” asked Trixie. “They’ve already taken all the gemstones in the caves.”

Minuette, Maud, and the others offered no reply, but started pointedly at the stagemare. At first, Trixie thought they were looking somewhere behind her, only to realize there was nothing of interest there. That’s when she realized they were all looking down at her cape. Or more specifically, the big and shiny sapphire pinned on the front….





Princess Luna paced nervously back and forth in the throne room, which was a jarring contrast to her cool and collected sister considering it was her coronation.

Everything had been set up for the main event: two hundred chairs lined up in twenty rows on either side of the red carpet, the stain glass windows polished extra thoroughly, the second throne added beside Luna’s, and the balloons and streams provided by the Cheese-Pie Party Company were all strung up. Princess Celestia’s elegant golden crown was propped on a fluffy cushion…with a gaping hole where the gemstone should be. 

Luna stopped pacing and ran a hoof down her face.

“Something has gone wrong,” said Luna pessimistically. “They should’ve been back by now.”

“Well, the Crystal Caves are huge network of tunnels underneath the mountain,” said Celestia. “I’m sure they just took a wrong turn. Or Minuette got herself stick in a hole in the wall…again.”

“The ceremony will be starting any minute,” said Luna, biting her hoof nervously. “If they don’t get back soon, we’ll have to present you with an incomplete crown. Do you know how embarrassing that will look?”

“I don’t particularly mind,” said Celestia nonchalantly. Luna shot her with an evil look; Celestia raised her hooves in surrender. “Okay, okay, reel in the death glares, your majesty. If it’s really that big of a deal, why don’t we just…postpone it.”

“But hundreds of important ponies from around the kingdom have come to attend, including…Daring Do,” Luna swooned. She noticed her sister’s smug grin and coughed embarrassingly in her hoof. “A-anyway, we can’t call It off this late into the event.”

“I didn’t say call it off,” said Celestia. “I meant…delay it for a while. You know, come up with some excuse to give Minuette and the others some extra time. For example…tell them that the throne room has been infested with jiggly frogs.”

“What in the name of me are jiggly frogs?” asked Luna strangely.

“Whatever you want them to be,” said Celestia.

“That…could actually work,” said Luna, nodding appreciatively. “All right, we’ll try to push the event back as long as we can. Just as long as nopony let everyone into the throne room – “

“Right this way, everypony!” Twilight announced excitedly, throwing the double doors wide open. She led a massive herd of ponies of all types into the throne room. “Please don’t crowd! There’s plenty of seating for everypony! Government officials and dignitaries on the left! Locals and celebrities on the right!”

“Well, so much for that,” Celestia commented dryly.

“Curse you, Twilight Sparkle!” Luna shouted, shaking her hoof.

“What did I do?!” yelped Twilight.





The Great and Powerful Trixie was not a happy pony.

Here she was, hiding around the corner with Maud and The Celestia Squad while her precious and valuable sapphire was sitting on the dirty cave floor like a discard piece of rubbish. They had just left it lying in the middle of the tunnel with a beam of light made by Lyra shining down on it from the ceiling so that it sparkled like a beacon in the night. Even if it was for the sake of catching the thieves, Trixie didn’t like using her gemstone as bait. Not only was in a gift from her mentor, but it really complimented her outfit.

“Is Minuette certain this is going to work?” asked Trixie irritably.

“Yep!” Minuette answered brightly. “I’m about twenty-six percent sure!”

“That’s not high at all!” shouted Trixie.

“Would you keep it down, big-mouth?” said Twinkleshine, slapping a hoof over the stagemare’s muzzle.

“It’s not a guaranteed plan, but it’s the best one we have,” said Lyra. “Whoever’s been taking the gems won’t be able to resist Trixie’s jewelry. Once they snatch it up, we can follow them back to their hideout. And with luck, we’ll find the rest of the missing gemstones as well.”

“How long do you think this is going to take?” asked Trixie. “Because Trixie have a spa treatment with Starlight Glimmer at noon.”

“You booked a spa treatment on the same day as the princess’s coronation?” said Lemon Hearts, brow quirked

“It was the best available time since everypony is gonna be at the ceremony,” said Trixie flippantly.

“That seems kinda rude, don’t you think?” Twinkleshine commented.

“We’ll still be around long enough to see Princess Celestia crowned,” said Trixie. “We’re just leaving right after.”

“Still it’s – “

“Hey you guys,” Maud interrupted, her monotone cutting through the conversation like a wagon crash. “I don’t want to be rude, but somepony’s trying steal Trixie’s corundum minerals consisting of aluminum oxide with trace amounts of iron, titanium, chromium, vanadium, or magnesium.”

“Can you just say ‘sapphire’ like normal pony?” said Twinkleshine irritably.

Everypony else poked their heads around the corner and watched Trixie’s jewel like a hawk. It was faint, but they could see a shadow moving in between the crystals, scuttling loudly and making heaving noises. after much anticipation, the creature stepped into Lyra’s spotlight.

Trixie exhaled a surprised gasp. The thief was a bipedal dog creature wearing diamond-studded collar. The dog creature panted harder with a giddy giggle as he scooped up Trixie’s gemstones.

“Ooh, pretty gem,” the dog creature spoke in a creepy, grumbly voice. “Sparkly gem. Precious gem. Mine now. My precious. Just like other precious.”

“What is that thing?” asked Lemon Heart, feeling more than a little creeped out.

“A Diamond Dog,” hissed Trixie, spitting at the ground like she had a bad taste in her mouth. “A race of deplorable thieves and kidnappers with an obsession for jewelry. Trixie suppose it would make sense that a Diamond Dog would have something to do with the missing gems.”

“You really don’t like Diamond Dogs, do you?” Lyra noted.

“Trixie had an unfortunate encounter with them in Diamondia,” Trixie grumbled.

“Forget about that,” said Twinkleshine. “Here’s the plan: we stick to the shadows, follow the dog back to his stash, kick his butt, then head straight to Tia’s coronation. And then, we all go out for hoofie-pedis. Trixie’s treat.”

“Trixie never agreed to those terms!” Trixie retorted.

“As long as we maintain the element of surprise – “ Lyra started when….

“Hey, Mr. Dog person!” Everypony blinked dumbfoundedly as they witnessed Minuette marching up to the Diamond Dog. Why was nopony watching her, everypony thought. “Don’t you know it’s rude to take things that don’t belong to you?”

“So much for the element of surprise,” Maud remarked tonelessly; everypony else face-hoofed.

“What’s this?!” the Diamond Doh yelped in surprise. “A pony?! In Diamond Do’s cave?!”

“They’re not your cave, they belong to the ponies of Canterlot,” said Minuette, puffing out her chest. “So you better give back all those gems you stole or me and my friends are going to make you sorry.” She then pointed at the hidden group in the background. “See, those are my friends right over there, waiting to jump out and ambush you.”

“Why?” Lemon Hearts groaned. “Just…why?”

“Pony want to steal Diamond Dogs’ gems!” the dog growled, turning away with Trixie’s sapphire close to her chest. “But ponies can’t have Diamond Dogs’ gems! Gems belong to Diamond Dogs! Diamond Dog no let ponies steal Diamond Fogs’ precious gems!”

“Technically, you stole them from us,” Maud pointed out tonelessly.

“Lies!” the Diamond Dog barked. “Ponies no take Diamond Dogs gems! Diamond Dogs take from ponies instead!”

The bipedal canine suddenly snagged Minuette under his arm (“WHEEEE!” the ditzy pony cheered) turned tail, and ran deeper into the tunnels.

“He’s making a break for it!” yelled Lyra.

“Don’t let him get away!” Trixie commanded. “He has Trixie’s gemstone!” Lemon Hearts coughed loudly and shot her a sideways glare. “Oh, and that pony whose name Trixie does not know nor cares about.”

“Seriously?” asked Lemon Hearts blandly.

“Guys, he’s getting away!” Twinkleshine shouted, sprinting ahead of the group.

One advantage ponies had over most bipedal creatures was their four legs allowing them to pick up speed faster, so they were ale to keep a visual on the Diamond Dog despite having a running start. But the jewel-obsessed obsessed mutt knew his way around the caverns better than they did. Even with Minuette weighing him down, he knew all the shortcuts, but allowed him to maintain a firm distance ahead. Once, when the mares turned the corner of a particularly narrow tunnel, they had run into a solid wall of quartz crystal and completely lost sight of him. Luckily, Maud spotted a small gap of to the side and the ponies slipped through just as the Diamond Dogs tossed Minuette into a mine cart.

“Hold it, creep!” Lyra yelled.

“Hand over Trixie’s gemstone!” Trixie demanded. Lemon Hearts coughed loudly again. “And the nameless pony.”

“Ponies no know when to leave Diamond Dog alone,” the mutt growled irritably. “Stop following Diamond Dog, or ponies will be sorry!”

The hound jumped into the cart with Minuette and the cart started moving down a steep slope (“WHEEE!” Minuette cheered again, throwing her hooves up.) Luckily, there was another mine cart that was conveniently behind the first one, so the ponies jumped in together and leaned forward, sliding down the tracks.

The Diamond Dog looked back, and banged his fist on the side of the cart. The ponies were still following him! They were coming up on a fork in the tracks and the Diamond Dog tilted the cart toward the left rails. The ponies threw their collective weight against the side, nearly tipping the whole thing over, but successfully transferred onto the left track. The rails spiraled downward around a large column of quartz crystals six times, making Lemon Hearts dizzy and Twinkleshine puking over the side.

Both carts flew over a small chasm filled with quartz crystal spikes at the bottom before they reached the end of the tracks. The Diamond Dog hit the brakes just before they reached end and jumped out with Minuette and Trixie’s jewel in hand. Unfortunately, the ponies had no idea how to operate the mine cart and ended up crashing into the first one. The mares were launched out of their cart and thrown across the cave, landing in a pile on top of one another with Trixie on the bottom and Maud on top.

“…Why does this only happen to Trixie?” the stagemare groaned.

“There he goes!” Lyra pointed at the Diamond Dig fleeing down the tunnel. “After him!”

The ponies picked themselves up and raced down the narrow passageway. They grounded their hooves once they reached the end, tilting their heads back in awe at what they were seeing: a giant pile of sparkling gemstones piled twenty hooves high; a colorfully chaotic mess of rubies, emeralds, sapphires, diamonds, and everything in between. Lemon Hearts literally drooled at the pile; Twinkleshine rolled her eyes and closed her twin’s mouth.

“Guess we found where they took the gems,” said Maud monotonously.

“Holy Luna, look at this stash,” Lemon Hearts stepped forward in reverence, stretching her hoof. “You think Princess Luna will notice if maybe one or two – “

“Paws off!”

Lemon Hearts jumped back with a frightened yelp. Everypony went took a defensive stance with the exception of Maud, who…blinked lethargically slow. The Diamond Do appeared at the top of the pile, still clutching Trixie’s sapphire in his paw while carrying Minuette under his arm.

“Hey, guys!” Minuette waved cheerfully. “Isn’t this fun?!”

“…She does realize she’s been pony-napped, right?” Trixie whispered to Lyra.

“Honestly, I don’t know what goes through that head of hers,” said Lyra.

“Ponies are persistent,” the Diamond Dog snarled. “But Ponies not smart. Not like Diamond Dog.”

“Yeah, you’re smart, all right,” said Twinkleshine sarcastically. “Trapping yourselves in a room with only one exit surrounded by five” – she glanced sideways at Maud – “four very cheesed off ponies. Real brilliant.”

“He-he, it’s not ponies that have Diamond Dogs surrounded,” the Diamond Dog snickered crazily. “It’s Diamond Dogs who have ponies surrounded.”

The Diamond Dog let out a high-pitched whistled that echoed in the cavern. Moments later, four more Diamond Dogs marched out from behind the gem pile. Unlike the first one, they were big and burly, standing taller than Princess Celestia with arms as thick as tree trunks and wearing armored tunics and spiked metal helmets. The ponies backed away in fear as the Guard Dog towered over them, crossing their bulging arms with soft warning growls. Lemon Heart chuckled nervously and treaded backward slowly toward the tunnel.

“You know, I think I left the oven on at home. So I’ll just be out of your way and – EEP!” She squeaked fretfully when accidentally bumping into the two Guard Dogg that suddenly appeared behind them, blocking off the tunnel.

“Ponies should’ve never tried to take Diamond Dog’s precious gems!” the lead dog cackled victoriously. “No ponies will be trapped here – forever!”

“But forever is such a long time,” Trixie complained. “Trixie has many social obligations she must – “

“Shut up!” the lead dog barked.

“You don’t have to be rude about it,” Trixie huffed.

“Well, I can’t imagine this being any worse,” Twinkleshine remarked.

“I hope things are going better for Tia’s coronation than they are for us,” said Lyra.





“…and like the rising sun, we welcome Princess Celestia to Equestia toward a brighter tomorrow,” Twilight Spark waxed poetically. “Let’s all join in hooves as we celebrate the beginning of a new era off peace and friendship – “

Off to the side, Princess Luna was biting Sunset’s hooves, having gone through her own half-an-hour ago. She had already given her speech, and Twilight was the last of the Mane Six to take the stand. Once she was finished, it would be time for the crowning. And the Celestia Squad still hadn’t returned! The ruler of Equestia kept glancing towards the door every five seconds, expecting them to come burst through any moment.

“Princess Luna, I think you’ve chewed enough,” said Sunset, ripping her hoof away.

“Something has gone wrong,” said Luna anxiously. “The ceremony is almost over and they still haven’t returned with the gem for Celestia’s crown. Once Twilight finished with here speech, we’ll have to proceed with the crowning. Oh, I think I’m going to have an ulcer,” she moaned, holding her stomach.

“Don’t be so overdramatic,” said Sunset, rolling her eyes exaggeratedly. “Celestia’s friends won’t let her down. And despite her many…many…MANY flaws, Trixie is tough and reliable. They’ll be here. We just need to buy them some time.”

“How?” asked Luna.

“We improvise,” said Sunset.

“ – for ponies everywhere,” Twilight concluded, followed by the applause of the audience. “And now it’s time to….”

She paused midsentence as she looked toward Sunset, who was extending her hooves with a pointed look. It took a few seconds to understand the message, but Twilight figured it out: “Stretch it out.” Twilight gulped nervously, glancing sideways at the curious audience that were staring at her expectantly.

“To…tell you all the many qualities that make Princess Celestia a greater ruler!” Twilight announced with a crooked (read: panicked) smile. “She…has really great teeth. Yep, good oral hygiene right there. And um…oh, she always remembers to put the toilet seat down. How considerate is that? Then there’s – “

Rather than feel complimented, Celestia buried her face in her hooves in embarrassment, especially after the toilet seat comment. Even Luna was running a hoof down her face with an overdramatic groan.

“Mother of me, why?” she moaned.

“Well, it can’t get any worse than this,” said Sunset lightly. “I hope Trixie’s group is having a better time than we are.”





The ponies backed up into each other as the hulking Guard Dogs surrounded them from all sides while their smaller leader cackled from atop the gem pile.

“Diamond Dogs have dumb ponies trapped,” said the top dog. “Now Diamond Dogs will force ponies to carry Diamond Dog’s precious gems to Diamond Dog’s home. Then Ponies will – “

“Uh, do you mind?” interrupted Minuette, who was reading the latest issue of One Buck Pony. “It’s getting to the good part.”

“…Where did pony get that?” said the top dog dumbfoundedly.

“Any more bright ideas?” asked Lemon Hearts, bumping into Twinkleshine.

“Sorry, fresh out,” Lyra moaned.

“Trixie, aren’t you supposed to be some great and powerful magician, or something?” said Twinkleshine. “Can’t you just – I don’t know – saw them in half?”

“Normally, Trixie would love the chance to show off her magical prowess,” said Trixie, biting her lip nervously and trying to make herself small under the Guard Dog’s glare. “But Trixie’s too scared to come up with anything.”

One of the Guard Dogs reached out his paw for Trixie, who backed away into Lyra. The paw was suddenly slapped aside, takin the Guard Dog aback in confusion. That’s when Maud stepped in between the mutt and the magician, her expression still neutral despite the situation.

“Don’t touch those ponies or you’ll make me angry,” Maud said monotonously.

“Ooh, you won’t like her when she’s angry,” said Trixie, suddenly brightening up.

The Diamond Dog looked at one another, bewildered…then threw their heads back, laughing out loud.

“Diamond Dogs no scared of wimpy pony!” the Diamond Dog cackled. “Diamond Dogs are – “ He was cut off by a loud slurping sound. He looked down in his arm and Minuette stared back, loudly sucking a blue slushy. “Where is pony getting stuff?!”

One of the Guard Dogs lunged forward and grabbed Lemon Hearts roughly by the mane, causing her to cry out as she was pulled away from the group. The large mutt chuckled in amusement…two seconds before he was hit across the face by what felt light a freight train. The Guard Dog was launched across the room, flying through the gem pile (causing the leader dog and Minuette to fall with startled yelped) and crashed into the back wall with enough force to crack the stone. The Guard Dog fell on his front with a pain moan, then a large rock fell on top of his head to knock him out.

The Celestia Squad and the Guard Dog’s jaws literally dropped to the floor. Maud casually blew off the smoke that wafted from her hoof like punching out a guard twice her size was no big deal.

A moment of awkward pause filled the cavern; the Diamond Dog looked uncertain at one another. The Diamond Dog leader emerged from the gem pile with a frustrated bark (Minuette was sitting at the top looking like a boss) and pointed at Maud, gnashing his teeth.

“Don’t just stand there!” he howled. “Get the pony!”

The Guard Dogs stumbled around, bumping into one another in the confusion, before catching their wits and charging for the ponies.

But without even the slightest hint of emotion, Maud bravely bounded forward and punched one of the Guard’s chest plate, shattering the steel like glass. The Guard Dog squeaked like a frightened mouse before Maud spun around and bucked them into the wall, knocking them out. Another guard swung as spear at her, but Maud deftly caught the shaft with her teeth and crushed it into splints. The Guard stared dumbfounded at his broken weapon before Maud kicked him in the head, shotting his across the cavern but dropping his helmet in place.

But when the gray pony wasn’t looking, two guard Dogs were tiptoeing behind her.

“Maud, look out!” Lyra cried.

Too late. Before the Earth Pony could react, the Guard Dogs piled on top of her, burying Maud underneath their bulking weight. The Guard Dogs cackled victorious and high-fived each other when they suddenly felt a dangerous tremor underneath them. To the astonishment of everypony, the armored mutts were launched into the air, slamming their heads into the ceiling, while Maud emerged unharmed. The Guard Dogs fell down and Maud bucked them both one after the other, throwing them into the wall and piling them on with the other downed dogs.

That just left one Guard Dog left. Maud stared down the hound with her dead fish eyes; the Guard Dog glanced sideways at his spear, then dropped it on the ground along with his helmet and armor.

“Forget this,” the Guard Dog complained, oddly articulate. “I’m going back to law school.”

“Hey, get back here, you coward!” the top dog yelled, shaking his fist at the retreating ex-guard.

“Excuse me,” The leader yelped as Maud tapped his shoulder and spun around, his breathing frantic. “Can you give the gems back now? They don’t belon to you.”

“Grr…fine! Take the gems!” the Diamond Dogg growled, walking away in a huff. “Diamond Dogs don’t want them anymore. Too many annoying ponies.”

Trixie coughed loudly in her hoof, drawing attention to herself, and said, “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“…No-o-o,” said the Diamond Dogg, turning his eyes away guiltily.

Trixie was not impressed with his lie. She used her magic to grab the Diamond Dog by the ankles, flip him upside down in the air, and shake him. Several objects fell out of his pockets including a pony doll, some shovels and pickaxes, a motivational cat poster, the kitchen sink, and finally, Trixie’s sapphire. The stagemare dropped the Diamond Dog, snagged her jewel, and clipped it to her cape again.

“Trixie is, once again, perfect,” said Trixie proudly.

“Dumb ponies! You haven’t seen the last of Diamond Dogs!” the mutt snarled none too convincingly while running away. “Diamond Dogs will be back and then it will be ponies who – “

At that moment, Maud picked a small rock and watched it fly across the tunnel, hitting the Diamond Dog in the back of the head and knocking him out of sight.

“Nice shot,” Trixie complimented.

“Maud, that was amazing!” Lemon Hearts said admirably.

“Did you see the way she moved,” said Twinkleshine excitedly, doing exaggerated kicks and punches. “She was all WHAM and POW and BANG!”

“She was like a superhero!” Minuette squealed.

“How did you do that?” asked Lyra.

“Anypony can do it with a lifetime of rock farming, routine exercise, and a license to kill,” said Maud monotonously.

“What was that last part?” asked Lyra quickly.

“Now, didn’t you ponies come down here for a gemstone?” said Maud, moving over to the gem pile.

“That’s right! Celestia’s coronation!” Lemon Hearts screamed in a panic. “We were so caught up with those Diamond Dogs that we completely forgot about it! Oh, and the coronation will have already started by now. It’ll take forever to find the right gem – “

“Found one,” Maud interrupted, holding out a perfectly smooth amethyst stone the perfect shape for the hole in Celestia’s crown. “This should work, right?”

“Wow, you are good,” Lemon Hearts complimented.

“We found the gem, but how’re we supposed to get back to Princess Celestia in time?” asked Trixie.

“Leave that to me,” said Maud.





“ – you put your left hoof in, you put your lefty hoof out,” Twilight sang loudly.

Luna, Celestia, and Sunset were all burying their faces in their hooves to shield themselves from the embarrassment. After Twilight had finished listing the many reasons while Celestia would be a good ruler, she convinced the audience to change their seats in alphabetical order, much to everypony’s confusion. Then she read them a poem that was over two hundred pages long and put half the audience to sleep. And then…this happened.

“I was so wrong; it can get worse,” Sunset groaned.

“How did this go from a coronation to a kingdom-wide session of the hokey-pokey?” Luna moaned. “Please, for the love of all that is pure in this world, make it stop….”

That’s when the most glorious of miracles occurred: the ground beneath Twilight exploded upwards and the lavender pony was sent flying across the throne room. From the newly created hole in the floor, Trixie, Maud, and the Celestia Squad emerged, posing heroically while the light from the windows just happened to be beaming at them at just the right moment.

“Tia, we’re back!” Minuette waved cheerfully.

“And we brought the gem for the crown,” Lyra announced, holding the gemstone in the air.

“Oh, thank me,” Luna muttered. “Quick, give it here.”

Lyra passed the amethyst over to Luna, who also picked up the incomplete crown with her magic. The midnight mare inserted the gemstones into the indentation of crown, letting out a relieved sigh when it slotted in perfectly. Luna shooed the ponies to their seats in the audience (Lyra pulled up an extra chair for Maud) and stood beside her sister proudly with crown in hoof.

“Citizens of Equestria!” Luna called loudly. “I have ruled this land alone or many years. Though had the assistance of many brave, kind, and noble friend, I had become used to watching them leave while I remained unchanged. It was a lonely existence. But now, like the changing of the seasons, and new, better change has come to our kingdom.

“My sister has returned after many centuries away in isolation. Some ponies still remember her as Daybreaker, and many have shared their concerns with how genuine her change is. But I feel confident if my sister’s genuine desire to help Equestria and, in time, I hope you feel the same way as well.

“And so, without further ado, I give you Equestria’s new co-ruler,” Luna lifted the golden crown and rested it atop her sister’s brow, “Celestia, Princess of the Sun!”

The audience broke out in an applause. Some were only clapping their hooves politely, obviously still weary of Celestia even after all this time. The majority was much more enthusiastic, especially those who lived in Canterlot and interacted with Celestia regularly. But the Mane Six, Luna friends, and the Celestia Squad were the loudest of all; Minuette had pulled a megaphone from out of nowhere and practically destroyed their eardrums.

Twilight eventually joined them, shaking the dizziness of her unexpected flight.

“So what happened down there?” she asked Trixie. “Was there any trouble?”

“Let’s just say it was…ruff,” said Trixie jokingly.

Trixie and the Celestia Squad giggled at their little inside joke, while Twilight was visibly confused.






> I Declare a Snow War
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Princess Luna looked out at her kingdom from the balcony of the tallest tower, closing her eyes as the cool breeze weaved through her mane.

The air had turned to chilling temperatures as white puffy clouds dropped a wave of fresh powder fell over Canterlot. The city’s rooftops were topped with white caps as chimney belched out plumes of smoke from the roaring fires inside like out of a holiday greeting card.. The cobblestone streets vanished under a blanket of heavy snow, windows glazed over with a thin layer of frost, and icicles hanged from the edges of the roofs. It was a day that marked the end of one season, and the beginning of another.

Winter had finally arrived. Luna’s favorite season.

The princess of the moon watched as contently as her subjects, bundled in their winter clothes, milled into the streets, setting out to clean up the overnight snowfall. Custodial unicorns gathered salt and shovels to clear the roads while shop owners cleaned the windows and magical removed the icicles (they could be dangerous!) Before long, Canterlot looked roughly the same as it always did with only the snow-covered roofs to mark the difference.

Luna let out a low chuckle and looked out into the distance towards Ponyville. By comparison to the uptight ponies of Canterlot, the citizens of Ponyville were more lax to the snow. Most of them just dived right in and started making snow alicorns and snow ponies.

Luna was pulled from her whimsical thoughts as the smell of warm chocolate touched her nose.

She gazed to the side to find her sister cantering out onto the balcony, carrying two cups of hot cocoa (a blue and black mug with a cresent moon for Luna, and a pastel colored mug with a sun for herself.) Luna couldn’t resist giggling when she saw her sister bundled up in what seemed like a hundred layers of thick clothing until only her eyes and horn were visible.

“Thank you, sister,” said Luna, levitating the mug to her snout. “You look very…cozy.”

“Laugh it up, little sister,” Celestia grumbled, her voice muffled by the dozens of scarves. “I don’t know how you can stand being in this cold without at least a jacket or earmuffs.”

“I am the princess of the moon,” said Luna, taking a sip of her cocoa. She made a contented humming noise as her chest warmed up. That’s some good cocoa. “The chill in the air is like a cool breeze for me.”

“Lucky for you,” Celestia grumbled, fighting back a shiver. She tried to take a sip of her cocoa, but the scarves blocked her mouth. “Stupid winter clothing…. I’m starting to wish I was back in the sun.”

“Instead of complaining about the cold, maybe we should do something fun to get your mind off the cold,” Luna offered, downing the last of her cocoa. “Now that Equestria has two princesses, we have less work between us, which means we have more free time. Twilight was kind enough to give us the day off together after that disaster of a coronation. We should enjoy the first day of winter together.”

“Thank you for the offer, sister, but I prefer stay where it’s warm,” said Celestia. She finally managed to move the scarves out of the way and took a sip of her hot cocoa with a pleasant hum. “Mmm, delicious.”

“Sure you don’t intend to stay in here all day, sister,” said Luna, shaking her head.

“Well, what would you have me do, Luna?” asked Celestia.

Luna put a hoof to her chin, tapping it thoughtfully. There were a number of things Luna knew she wanted to do. Sledding down a snowy hillside. Go ice skating on the frozen lake. Build a snow hut with their own four hooves. But in each scenario, Luna could only envision the many ways her sister would bury herself in snow or fall through the lake.

She wanted Celestia to enjoy the winter time, and Celestia wanted some way to warm up. Maybe something with vigorous activity involved. Some like….

In the midst of her musing, the sound of laughter reached Luna’s ears. It was coming from below their balcony.

She and Celestia poked their heads over the railing and looked down. The Mane 6 were in the palace courtyard, throwing balls of snow at each other while ducking behind little makeshift walls. Twilight, Trixie, and Starlight were on one side while Sunset, Moon Dancer, and Tempest were on the other.

Sunset used her magic to pick up a large glob of snow before breaking it down and compacting it into a dozen perfect snowballs. She launched them across the courtyard when Trixie poked her head up with a conniving smirk. She removed her hat, reaching inside, and pulled out a flask of red liquid. She gave it a quick shake, ripped the cork off with her teeth, and threw the flask to intercept the snowballs. The potion exploded in a cloud of glittery red smoke, obliterating the snow barrage.

“Give it up, Sparkle!” Sunset shouted enthusiastically. “We’ve got you outmatched!”

“That’s what you think!” Twilight said challengingly. She turned back to Starlight, who had conjured up a magical trebuchet with a snow boulder ready. “Fire in the hole!”

Starlight released the catapult and launched the snow boulder. Moon Dancer squeaked when she saw the boulder fling straight at her and threw her hooves over her head, instinctively conjuring a barrier. Tempest dashed forward, using Moon Dancer’s barrier as a spring board, and jumped into the air. She threw out her hoof and punched the giant snowball into a million pieces, then landed safely on the ground with a flip of her mane.

Sunset sighed dreamily.

“Darn it,” Starlight complained, joining Twilight at the wall. “I knew we should’ve picked the strong pony for our team.”

“You know Sunset and Tempest have a thing for each other,” said Twilight. “I would feel wrong to separate them.” Starlight thought about it, then nodded understandingly. “You sure you don’t want to join, Spike. You could be on my team.”

“And get buried under twenty feet of snow? No, thank you,” Spike rejected vehemently from his seat on the palace steps. He stood up, brushed himself off, and turned towards the door. “I’m gonna make some hot chocolate. Anypony wants some.”

“Ooh, I do!” said Twilight, raising her hoof eagerly.

“Same here!” Sunset joined it.

“I would like some hot chocolate,” Moon Dancer requested.

“The Great and Power Trixie demands cocoa!” Trixie yelled theatrically.

“Thanks, Spike,” said Starlight gratefully.

“Tell Grubber I said ‘hi’,” said Tempest. “And don’t eat all the hot tamales like last time!”

The baby dragon disappeared inside the castle and the snowball fight resumed after Trixie threw a cheap shot at the side of Sunset’s head when she wasn’t looking. The sunny mare retaliated by levitating Trixie, flipping her over, and burying the showmare’s head in the snow.

A metaphorical lightbulb went off in Luna’s head.

“That’s it!” she said brightly. “A snowball fight!”

“Snowball…fight?” Celestia repeated strangely. “What is the meaning of this, sister? Is it not wrong for friends to quarrel?”

“They’re not really fighting, sister; it’s a game,” Luna explained. To demonstrate, she gathered a clump of snow off the balcony railing with her horn and compacted it into a ball. “Ponies gather up the snow, pack it into little balls, and then throw them at each other.” She threw the snowball at Celestia’s cloth-covered flank. “See?”

“Hmm, intriguing,” Celestia hummed. “And how does one win a ‘snowball fight?’”

“There’s not winning or losing – you just have fun,” said Luna, elbowing her sister playfully. “Come on, you know you want to try it.”

“Well…I do enjoy fighting,” said Celestia with a slightly crazed gleam in her eyes. “Especially when I stand over the battered and broken bodies of my enemies.”

“…Are you still seeing your therapist every week?” asked Luna, concerned.

“Yes, but I don’t think it’s working,” said Celestia glibly.

Deciding to put off Celestia’s potentially psychotic tendencies for another day, the two sisters spread their wings and leaped over the balcony. Celestia had more difficulty maneuvering because of the thick layers she covered herself in. the sisters landed in the courtyard between the warring factiosn while they were in the middle of replenishing their ammunition.

“Greetings, my little ponies,” said Luna brightly. “We were – “

“AAH! YETI!” Trixie shrieked, then threw a snowball at Celestia’s face. The princess of the sun shot the showmare a blank stare. “For the last time, Trixie is not interested in your timeshare!”

“It’s me, Trixie,” said Celestia dryly. Realizing that she had just thrown a snowball in the face of a princess, Trixie chuckled nervously and slipped behind the snow barrier until they could only see the top of her hat.

“Did you need something, Princess Luna?” asked Twilight helpfully. “Do you need me to schedule something or arrange a meeting?”

“Nothing like that, Twilight Sparkle,” said Luna, patting the purple mare’s mane reassuringly. “We were hoping you might let us partake in your snowball fight?”

“You wanna snowball fight?” asked Tempest, quirking her brow strangely.

“I want to show my sister the joys of winter,” said Luna, gesturing to the overdressed alicorn. “And I thought a friendly duel in the snow between friends would be just the thing. What do you say.”

“Well…I guess that’s all right,” said Sunset. She looked to her friends and all of them nodded in agreement (except for Trixie, who held up a flag with the word “YES” from behind the snow barrier. “Ok, sure, you guys can join. Just pick a side.”

“Wonderful!” Luna cheered, clapping her hooves. “I shall join my apprentice’s team. Sister, you can join Twilight Sparkle and her friends over there.”

“Okay…,” said Celestia awkwardly.

Celestia and Luna trotted over to their respective sides. The rainbow-maned princess stood behind the snow barrier, which only reached up to her knees, and stood around in uncomfortable silence as Twilight, Trixie, and Starlight used their magic to form neat, triangular piles of snowballs, ready to be thrown at a moment’s notice.

“So…how does one ‘snowball fight?’” asked Celestia.

“It’s easy,” said Starlight encouragingly. “You just make a snowball and throw it at the other team while avoid their snowballs.” At that precise moment, one such snowball smacked Celestia in the side of the head.”…Like that one.”

Celestia shook her head wildly and glared across the courtyard at her younger sister, who was levitating half a dozen snowballs with a smug grin.

“You may want to try ducking behind the barrier,” Twilight suggested, crouching behind the snow wall to demonstrate.

Celestia laid down on her belly behind the snowbank…which still left her head completely exposed and an easy target for Luna to nail her between the eyes.

“Is this fun, sister?” Luna threw her head back with a rancorous guffaw. She didn’t notice her teammates had dived off to the side in a panic until a giant snow boulder plowed into Luna, burying her in the snow with only her legs sticking out. “Ow….”

“You’re right, sister, this is fun,” Celestia cackled.

“Maybe we should build bigger bases for our taller players,” Starlight suggested.

“Agreed,” Celestia and Luna said in unison,; the latter dazed as Tempest pulled her out of the snow.

Both sides swept away their meager snow barriers and began to build bigger, more elaborate walls. Team Celestia compacted the snow together into thick bricks and stacked them into an solid brick wall with parapets. Team Luna’s wall was smooth and flat with a slanted roof topped with decorative serpentine dragons. Both teams were arming themselves with hundreds of snowballs in preparation for the next round when – 

“Hey, y’all, watcha doin’?”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders had inexplicably and casually walked through the palace gates without a single guard to stop them. Luna was going to have a long talk with the guards. Again.

“Trixie and her compatriots are about to annihilate Sunset Shimmer’s team in a winter duel!” Trixie announced with a flourish.

“Not if we destroy you first!” Moon Dance retorted.

“You’re having a snowball fight?” Scootloo gasped excitedly with starry eyes. “Cane we play? Can we? Can we? Can we?”

“Calm yourself, my little pony,” Luna chuckled. “Of course you can join us. In fact, I would be deeply honored if you – “

“Dibs on the fillies!” Celestia shouted with a raised hoof.

“Me darn it, sister!” Luna cursed. “I was about to ask them to join my side!”

“Too late – called dibs,” said Celestia smugly.

“Curse the law of dibs!” shouted Luna, shaking her hoof to the sky.

“Hey, what’s with all the yelling going on over here?”

Spitfire zoomed into the courtyard and floated over the moon princess. The rest of the Luna Crew (Bon Bon, Blossomforth, Octavia, and Vinyl Scratch) entered through the gates at a slower pace, looking between the two teams curiously. Spitfire flapped her wings and flew higher into the air, surveying the scene when a look of understanding crossed her face.

“You guys having a snowball fight?” asked Spitfire, zipping down to Luna’s face, making the midnight alicorn lean back in surprise. “You gotta have me on your team, Loony. Someone’s gotta put my baby sis in her place.” she emphasized the statement by punching her hooves together.

“Your chances of beating my are less than you asking Soarin out!” shouted Sunset cockily.

“Wha – I wasn’t – I don’t – “ sputtered Spitfire, her face red with embarrassment. “Shut up!”

“Can we play, too?” asked Minuette, popping up between Twilight and Starlight.

“BWAH!” Twilight and Starlight jumped away with mutual frightened yelps. The rest of the Celestia Squad (Lemon Hearts, Twinkleshine, and Lyra) popped up a second later. Twilight point at them and yelled, “Where did you come from?”

“We’re…not sure…,” said Lemon Hearts, looking around with uncertainty. “Minuette did this…thing where she grabbed the air and suddenly started peeling it away like a page in a book….”

“Next thing we know, we’re here,” Twinkleshine added, tilting her head.

“Your timing could not be more perfect!” said Celestia, clapping her hooves giddily. ”Join me as I wage snowy war against my sister and her friends!”

“A snowball fight?” Lyra gasped excitedly. “We’re in!”

“Do we have to?” Lemon Hearts groaned. “I just got my mane done the way I like it.”

“It looks the same as it always does,” said Twinkleshine.

“I’ll have you know, I parted my bangs two inches to the left, thank you very much!” Lemon Hearts huffed.

“If we’re having more people join, we’re gonna need bigger defenses,” said Sunset. “Everypony, start building!”

“Do you think this is a good idea?” Starlight asked Twilight as they began compacting more snow bricks. “With so many ponies joining, don’t you think this might get a little…out of hoof?”

“It’s just a snowball fight, Starlight,” Twilight laughed, waving off her concern. “What’s the worse that can happen?”

“Twilight, no - !”













The palace guards looked at one another awkwardly, uncertain of what they were looking at.

What had started off as simple barriers had transformed into full snow fortresses. Team Celestia had constructed an entire castle made of snow bricks reminiscent of Medieval Europonian architecture. Team Luna, on the other hoof, had built a towering five-level pagoda modeled after the ancient Japonians

How a bunch of ponies were able to stand on snow without making it collapse was anyone’s guess.

Princess Luna stood on the highest balcony of her snow tower with Sunset and Moon Dancer by her side, peering through her spyglass made of snow and ice. (Don’t ask me how that works.) She could see her sister standing on the ramparts of her snow castle with Twilight, Starlight, and Trixie. It took a moment for both alicorns to realize they were staring at each other with snow spyglasses and threw them away.

“Something isn’t right,” Luna hummed. “They haven’t made a move in almost twenty minutes.”

“I can’t believe they managed to take out Tempest and Blossomforth,” said Sunset, shaking her hoof in frustration. “I should’ve seen it coming.”

“To be fair, Twinkleshine throwing an impromptu concert in the middle of a battle was unexpected,” said Moon Dancer. “But at least you managed to nail her at the end.”

“Still,” Luna hummed, tapping her muzzle, “I can’t help but feel that my sister is up to something….”

Down below on the ground level, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo cautiously poked their heads around the corner of the pagoda. They spotted Luna’s imposing figure over the snow railing and pulled back. The Cutie Mark Crusaders huddled up with Apple Bloom holding a crumpled piece of paper in her hoof..

“Aw right, listen up, Cutie Mark Crusaders,” Apple Bloom talked in a high whisper. “We need ta get this ‘ere intel back ta Princess Celestia. It’s a list o’ all the weak spots in Princess Luna’s base. We get it back ta the princess and she’ll beat that no-good night mare.”

“But how’re we going to get back?” Sweetie Belle shuddered. “We only snuck over here because Miss Twinkleshine distracted everyone.”

“We’re just gonna have to hoof it,” said Scootaloo determinedly.

“But they’ll see us!” cried Sweetie Belle.

“Scoots is right,” said Apple Bloom seriously. “It’s ta only way. We’re just gonna ‘ave ta run as fast as we can. No matter what ‘appens, our mission is ta get the intel to Princess Celestia! Are ya with me?”

She threw her hoof out in the middle. Scootaloo put hers on top immediately. Sweetie Belle was hesitant at first, but nonetheless put her hoof in as well. The filly trio yelled their group chant (“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!”) and ran out into the open…screaming at the top of their little lungs.

“There they are!” yelled Luna, pointing at the wailing fillies. “Bury them!”

Sunset lit her horn with magic and summoned a Gatling Gun made of snow (again, don’t ask me how it works.) She magically turned the crank and launched a hundred snowballs through the air. The Cutie Mark Crusaders shrieked louder as the snowballs fell all around them like raindrops, only narrowly grazing their flanks and brushing their manes. They only managed to weave through the snowstorm because of their small size. Sunset cursed (“Luna darn it!”) when the Cutie Mark Crusaders made it to the halfway point, which was out of Sunset’s firing range.

“We did it!” Scootaloo cheered when the snowballs stopped falling. “We’re gonna make it! We’re gonna – OOF!”

The little Pegasus suddenly collapsed on the ground, her flank cold. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle stopped skidded to a stop and looked back to see what had become of their friend. Somepony had nailed her hind legs with a snowball.

“Scoot!” cried Apple Bloom, trying to run to her friend, but was held back by Sweetie Belle.

“Go on…without me…,” Scootaloo moaned weakly.

The poor filly was put out of her misery by a snowball to the back of the head. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle followed the direction it came from to the air where Spitfire hovered overhead, her hooves laden with snowballs.

“Sorry, my little ponies,” Spitfire smirked, cocking back another snowball. “But it’s the end of the line for you.”

“We’ve got to go!” Sweetie Belle yelled at Apple Bloom.

“But Scootaloo – “

“There’s nothing we can do for her! We gotta run! Now!”

Though reluctant, Apple Bloom conceded that she was right. She took a last glance at her fallen friend face down in the snow and started to book it back to Celestia’s castle.

But they weren’t going to make it far. Spitfire was the captain of the Wonderbolts and the fastest flier in all of Equestria (now counting a rainbow-maned superhero, obviously.) She decided to hover in place while giving the fillies a ten seconds head start, letting them think they were safe before she wiped them out in one fell swoop. Spitfire liked to play with her prey.

This would turn out to be a fatal mistake as the captain of the Wonderbolts watched the fillies run, not knowing that she wasn’t alone in the skies.

It started out as brief flashes in the corner of her eye that would disappear the moment she looked around. Then came the strange rustling noises that sounded like paper in the wind. The hairs on the back of Spitfire’s neck stood up when she felt like something brushed up behind her, only to find empty space when she turned around. It was afterwards that she noticed a shadow had fallen over her. The fiery Pegasus glanced upwards, blocking the sun within her hoof, and noticed a diamond outline of something hover in the air above her.

“Is that…a kite?” Spitfire muttered to herself.

“Death from above!”

It took a moment for Spitfire’s brain to register that it wasn’t just a kite – it was Minuette riding a kite!

Spitfire had no time to gather her wits before Minuette reeled back the snowball that she had carried with her and threw it at the fiery Pegasus, smacking her in the face. The Wonderbolt captain fell backwards and began to spiral out of control towards the ground. And, oddly enough, one of the guards pulled out a soundboard from who knows where and started playing the sound effect when cartoon planes start falling.

“MAYDAY! MAYDAY! I’M HIT! I’M GOING DO-O-O-O-O-OWN!!!” screamed Spitfire.

Spitfire hit the ground that sent a powdery explosion flying everywhere. When the mist clear, Spitfire was lying face down in an impressively sized snow crater.

“Spitfire, no!” cried Sunset.

“Curse you, sister!” Luna roared, shaking her hoof at the opposing side.

“Well done, Starlight Glimmer!” Celestia complimented the lilac mare, who was magically holding the string that kept Minuette’s kite aloft. “That was an excellent plan to defeat my sister’s aerial forces.”

“It was actually Minuette’s idea,” said Starlight. “I thought it was crazy, flying somepony on a kite. But it actually worked surprisingly well.”

“Wonderful,” said Celestia proudly. “Now get Minuette down so that we can plan out next move.”

“Uh…get her down?” Starlight parroted, sweating slightly. Starlight was passionate about flying kites, but she never learned how to get them down without crashing them into the ground first.

Minuette looked down at Celestia’s castle, wondering why it was taking so long for them to pull her back in. The toothpaste-maned mare heard a sharp click below and realized that she had flown too close to the enemy’s pagoda. Sunset Shimmer turned her snowy Gatling skyward with a furious look in her eyes.

Two seconds later, a second snow crater formed next to Spitfires.

“This is not good!” said Luna worriedly as she the grounds below. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle had made it to Celestia’s snow castle and banged their hooves on the snow gates. A moment later, Lemon Heart opened the doors to let the fillies inside. “They have taken out our aerial advantage and who knows what secrets those fillies could be spilling right now.”

“Not to worry, your highness,” said Moon Dancer, pushing her glasses up with an evil smile. The sunlight flared off her lenses, making her look like a calculating villain. “Everything’s going according to plan.”





Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle panted hoarsely, their hearts beating like drums against their little chests. Lemon Hearts shuffled worried between them, wiping them down with fresh towels.

“Oh dears, you look horrid,” said Lemon Heart, concerned, as she wiping the snow off Sweetie Belle’s cheek. “Are you all right? Did something happen.”

“We got what we needed,” said Sweetie Belle, looking downcast. “But we lost Scootaloo.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” said Lemon Heart sympathetically.

“It won’t be for nothing,” said Sweetie Belle determinedly. “We the info we got, we can strike at Princess Luna’s weak point and get our revenge. Right, Apple Bloom?”

“Yeah…about that….”

Sweetie Belle gasped in horror and Apple Bloom suddenly whipped out a snowball and nailed Lemon Heart’s in the face, making the yellow mare collapse on the floor.

“Apple Bloom, what are you – “

Splat! Apple Bloom took out Sweetie Belle next.

“Sorry, Sweetie Belle,” said Apple Bloom with an evil smile, holding up the crumpled paper in her hoof. “Ain’t nothin’ personal.”

She tossed the paper on the ground, which turned out to be blank, and silently made her way up the snow staircase.

Apple Bloom quietly crept to the castle ramparts, keeping low to the floor. Princess Celestia had her back turned to the filly, along with three of the Mane 6. Apple Bloom didn’t think she had  what it took to take out a princess – she was ginormous – but she could take out the others before they realized anything.

Apple Bloom gathered snow from the floor, compacted it into a ball, and took aim. She would go for Starlight Glimmer first – she was the bigger threat.

“Hmm, they stopped attacking,” Celestia hummed thoughtfully.

“Think they’ve given up?” asked Starlight.

“Doubtful,” said Twilight, tapping her muzzle. “It could be that they’re planning something. She should prepare in case of a frontal assault – “

Trixie, who had no input to the discussion, allowed her eye to wonder when she caught something in her peripheral. She turned her head in time to see Apple Bloom pull with a snowball in her hoof. Trixie’s mind went into overtime as she mentally calculated the trajectory of Apple Bloom’s throw and realized it was aimed at Starlight. Trixie didn’t have time to warn her best friend before the filly tossed the snowy sphere. There was only one option left: Trixie jumped in the path of the snowball.

“Starlight, look out!” screamed Trixie.

Starlight gasped. She barely saw the snowball flying straight towards her until Trixie jumped in front, taking the snowball to the chest and collapsing on the ground.

“TRIXIE!” cried Starlight.

Apple Bloom desperately tried to create another snowball now that she had been exposed, but Twilight’s horn flared with magic and created a dozen snowy spheres before she could even finish one. Apple Bloom was mercilessly pelted from all directions until she was buried in a glob of snow with only her legs sticking out.

“Trixie, stay with me!” Starlight wailed desperately, lifting the stagemare in her hooves.

“S-s-so c-c-cold…,” Trixie shuddered. “S-s-starlight…remember…Trixie…and…pick up…Trixie’s…dry cleaning….”

“Trixie, don’t leave me!” cried Starlight. But the stagemare went (figuratively) cold in her hooves. “NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O!!!”

“They will pay for this cruel treachery!” Celestia swore over Starlight’s tearful wailing. “Twilight Sparkle! Starlight Glimmer! With me!”

Twilight rested a hoof on Starlight’s shoulders, offering her silent sympathies while also shooting her a meaningful look. Starlight sniffled, set Trixie down on the cold snowy floor, and wiped her tears with the back of her hooves. Twilight was right; there would be time to mourn the fallen later.

Twilight and Starlight stood on either side of Celestia. The alicorn ignited the magic in her horn first, then Twilight and Starlight joined her, combining their magics together for their biggest spell yet.





Luna let out a barking laugh while Sunset playfully punched Moon Dancer’s shoulder. The bespectacled unicorn had just finished giving them the details of her secret plot and they couldn’t be prouder!

“Well done, Moon Dancer!” Luna complimented. “Planting a double agent in the midst of my sister’s forces. A sheer stroke of brilliance!”

“Didn’t think you had it in you,” said Sunset, grinning.

“You honor me, princess, but I can’t take all the credit,” said Moon Dancer, readjusting her glasses with a smirk. “When Apple Bloom snuck into our base and sought me out, I wasn’t expecting her to offer to join our side. I couldn’t let the opportunity go to waste, so I gave her a piece of blank paper and told her to tell the other Cutie Mark Crusaders that it was valuable intel. Then when she was inside Celestia’s base, she could take them out from the inside.”

“You could’ve told us your plan beforehoof,” said Sunset. “Spitfire and I almost took out Apple Bloom when they were running.”

“We had to make it convincing,” said Moon Dancer.

“Think she took out the princess?” asked Sunset curiously.

“Unlikely, but she will have taken out a good number of Celestia’s forces before she was caught,” said Luna, rubbing her hooves evilly. “I can’t wait to see the look on my sister’s face when she realizes she’s been duped!”

Luna threw back her head and bellowed another barking laugh. Her laughter was cut short when she noticed their balcony had suddenly gotten darker.

“Hey, what happened?” asked Sunset craning her head backwards. “Did Celestia take down the sun early.”

No, that wasn’t the case, Luna noticed. Despite it being darker, there was still a considerable amount of sunlight in the surrounding areas. The princess of the moon turned her head skyward, shielding her eyes with her hoof, and spotted something big and round blocking the sun. For a moment, she thought it might have been an solar eclipse. But that couldn’t be right. She and Celestia scheduled them to occur every eighteen months and the next one wasn’t supposed to happen until spring.

Luna narrowed her eyes on the strange body that was blotting out the sun, slowly realizing that…it was getting closer. After a few seconds, she finally understood what it was and cried out:

“SNOW METEOR!!”

That’s right – Snow Meteor. The most powerful offensive technique in any snow war; a snowball at least fifty hooves in diameter. Celestia, Twilight, and Starlight had pulled the snow directly from the snow clouds overhead and sent it hurtling towards Luna’s pagoda at terminal velocity, surrounding in scorching flames (yet somehow not melting.) Luna’s team had no chance to escape and wailed like frightened fillies before the meteor impacted the tower, destroying the snow structure in a single blow.

Luna groaned as she stood up, shaking the snow off her coat. She looked around at what remained of her once proud tower – little more than a pile of mush now. Sunset emerged from the snow shortly after, but Moon Dancer remained unmoving, her upper half buried in the snow with her hind legs sticking straight up.

“Is everyone all right?” Luna called to her subjects.

“I’m fine,” Sunset moaned, shaking her head clear of the dizziness.

“All good here,” Bon Bon called out.

Vinyl Scratch also emerged from the mush, relatively unscathed, and gave Luna the equivalent of a thumbs-up (which was odd considering they had no fingers.)  But the pop musical mare looked and quickly realized that her wife had had not turned up yet. After a little bit of searching, she spotted a gray hoof sticking out the snow. Vinyl rushed over and started digging desperately, eventually finding Octavia Melody buried beneath the snow.

Vinyl lifted her wife into her hooves and shook her in pleading silence. The cellist groaned and opened her eyes weakly.

“Vinyl…,” Octiavia breathed. “I’m so sorry, Vinyl. It would seem…that this is…my coda…. Please…live on…for me….”

Vinyl’s muzzle quivered as Octavia went limb in her arms. A moment of tragic sorrow passed over her face, but was quickly replaced by righteous anger.

Vinyl gently set Octavia back on the ground and turned in the direction of Celestia’s castle. She could see the sun princess laughing at the top of the battlements with Twilight and Starlight. Vinyl’s eye narrowed into a heated glare as she pulled out a big red button from behind her back and pressed it. Two giant speaker towered twenty feet high suddenly popped up behind Vinyl while a turntable conveniently appeared in front of her.

Sunset blinked and asked, “When did we install a sound system?”

“It was Vinyl’s idea,” said Luna with a happy little smile.

Vinyl pushed all the faders to their maximum level and put the needle on the spinning record. Her hoof hover over the play button for a moment, shooting one last glare at the opposing forces, then pressed it – 


WUUUUUUUUUUB – WUB-WUB – WUB-WUB - WUB-WUB-WUB – WUUUUUUUUUUB


Everypony covered their ears with their hooves. The base reverberated through the courtyard like a thousand stampeding buffalo. It could be felt all the way in the main city, the vibrations knocking the snow off rooftops and undoing all the work of the poor shoveling unicorns.  It was even worst for Team Celestia, who were in the direct line of fire.

“TOO – MUCH – BASS!” screamed Twilight, stuffing her ears with snow in a poor attempt to block out the noise. “TOO – MUCH – WUB!!!”

Starlight winced as the vibrations of Vinyl’s musical assault pounded against her eardrums when she felt something cold plop on her snout. It was snow. The lilac unicorn craned her head to see where it had come from a realized with a horrified gasp that the entire castle was shaking violently.

“It’s coming down!” cried Starlight, pointing to the ceiling as more snow fell. “EVERYPONY OUT!!”

Celestia stretched her wings and glided to safety. Twilight didn’t hear her warning, so Starlight tackled her friend over the parapet and they fell together into the soft snowbank. They popped their heads out as the castle doors flew open and Lyra Heartstring – who had been strangely absent the whole time – ran like a bat out of Tartarus. They barely made it out in time before the snow fortress collapsed into a pile of mush similar to Luna’s tower.

Luna raised her hoof and Vinyl turned off the sound system. The princess of the moon stepped forward and watched as Celestia landed across the courtyard. The two sisters locked eyes and began a heated staring contest.

“So that’s how you want to play it, little sister?” said Celestia heatedly as Twilight, Starlight, and Lyra joined her side, all glaring at the opposing team.

“That’s how it’s always been, sister!” Luna retorted as she was flanked by Sunset, Bon Bon, and Vinyl, meeting the opposing team’s glares with their own.

“Then you have sealed your fate!” Celestia declared as she ignited her horn with magic and summoned a dozen snowballs around her. “To me, my little ponies! Charge!”

“For Equestria!” Luna screamed, also summoning a dozen snowballs.

Both sides rushed to the center of the courtyard with furious war cries – 





The soundboard guard played a haunting slow song as the world seemed to move in slow motion like the tragic scenes in war movies.

Vinyl was the first to fall. She charged ahead of her comrades, intent on taking revenge for her fallen wife, and threw a snowball at Princess Celestia. The sun alicorn easily moved her head out of the way and pelted the pop star with her entire arsenal. The first one hit her in the side of the head, then the gut, then her hoof, her flank, her chest, and her face again. Vinyl exhales a weak, dying gasp as she fell to her knees, then collapsed face down in the snow.

Twilight put up a valiant battle, creating and tossing snowballs in rapid succession. But she was unfocused on her surroundings and did not see the oncoming snowball until it hit her in the side of the face. Another one nailed her in the flank, and the last hit her in the chest. The purple unicorn fell backwards and went limp.

Starlight used her magic to levitate over the battlefield, raining down death from above. But somepony landed a lucky shot in the back of the floating mare’s head, sending her spiraling to the ground. She crash landed into the snow, cutting a long trench through the powder. Starlight moaned weakly and tried lifting herself up, but a solid blow to the right side of her face felled her for good.

Lyra and Bon Bon were racing across the raging battlefield towards each other, ducking their heads beneath the barrage of flying snowballs. They were nearly together. Lyra reached out her hoof for Bon Bon and Bon Bon did the same for Lyra. But just before they could touch, a snowball plowed into the side of Bon Bon’s head while another nailed Lyra in the side at the same time. The star-crossed mares fell in the snow with their hooves outstretched, just inches from reach each other.

No one knows how long the battle went on as more and more ponies were felled by the horrors of snow war. But before long, the snow finally stopped flying and a deadly pause of silence filled the courtyard.

Princess Luna stumbled through the field, her breathing heavy and shuddering, her body starting to feel the effects of the cold. Someone had god a few shots on Luna. Her flank had been hit four times, her wings smothered in snow, and her left eye hidden underneath a glob of slush. She was very weak, her legs barely holding up her trembling body.

She managed to make it four steps before her legs finally gave and she fell to her knees.

With a bleary gaze, Luna’s eye roamed the snow-covered field. All these ponies – her subjects – that were now lying listlessly on the ground. The horror. The carnage. It brought flashes of memory to the forefront of her mind. During the war against the Crystal Empire. So many ponies – lost. Because she wasn’t strong enough to protect them….

“Prin…cess…Luna….” A weak, trembling moan carried to her ears.

“Sunset Shimmer?” Luna gasped.

Luna brushed the snow off her left eye and searched the courtyard. Sunset shimmer crawled slowly through the snow on her belly to her teacher, dragging her hind legs behind her. Her legs, Luna realized were completely engulfed in snow. No doubt ruthlessly buried by her own sister. Princess Luna gritted her teeth as she forced her legs to move, dragging her closer to Sunset.

“Hold on, Sunset,” Luna panted. “I’m coming….”

“Princess…I…,” Sunset moaned, holding out a shaky hoof – 

SPLAT!

“NO!” cried Luna.

Sunset lay flat on the ground, remnants of a snowball plastered across the back of her head. Luna’s breathing became erratic after seeing her apprentice fall, but they only grew worse as her older sister strolled up to the moon alicorn.

Like her, Celestia’s flank was smother in snow, her wings hanged at her side, dragging them on the ground beside her, and her normally flowing mane hanged limb after being drenched in snowballs. But even so, the Mare of the Sun stood tall over her younger sister. Luna cursed her own name. It had been so long that she had forgotten Celestia was the warrior of the family. Of course she could shrug them all off like they were nothing.

Luna had made a critical error – and so many ponies paid the price.

“And here we are – at the end of the line,” said Celestia, struggling to control her heavy breathing. “It strikes me how similar our positions are to the Summer Solstice Festival. Only this time, there is no saving you.”

“This…this is a mistake…,” said Luna, trembling. “Sister, look around you…look at what we have become….”

“I am what you made me, little sister,” said Celestia. “it was you who dragged me into this war, and now” – Her horn lit up with magic, crafting a single snowball in the air – “I will finish it.”

“Celestia…this is madness!” cried Luna.

“Madness…?” Celestia repeated slowly, then screamed. “THIS – IS – CANTERLOT!”

Celestia threw the snowball between her younger sister’s eyes and watched as the midnight mare collapsed sideways in the snow.

A haunting silence carried through the courtyard, broken only by the whispering breeze.

“I…I did it…,” Celestia laughed, falling on her flank. A mixture of relief and satisfaction welled up in her chest. “I did it! I defeated my sister! This is most spectacular! Minuette, did you see – ?”

Her voice got lost in her throat as she turned around and got a better look at the battlefield. Minuette, her best friend, lying in a crater with the remnants of her kites only feet away from a similarly fallen Spitfire. Twinkleshine was half covered in snow after the brutal assault from Team Luna, lying between Tempest and Blossomforth. Lemon Heart’s hooves were sticking out of the pile of mush that had once been her tower with Celestia never realizing what happened. And everybody else lay scattered across the courtyard in similar positions.

In finally hit Celestia. The princess of the sun held her head in her hooves as the horrible realization washed over her.

“What…what have I done?” Celestia gasped. “All this…this senseless violence. This is all my fault. They all followed me into this senseless war and I did nothing to protect them. Luna…Minutte…Lemon Heart…Twinkleshine…Lyra…Twilight…Starlight…Trixie…those fillies whose names I can’t remember…. This is all my fault. I’m sorry. Please…forgive me….”

But the downcast alicorn was met only with horrible silence….

At least until the palace creaked doors opened. Spike stepped outside drinking from a mug of steaming hot chocolate while carrying a tray of six more mugs.

“I got the hot chocolate!” Spike announced proudly. “Sorry it took so long. I wanted to get the perfect amount of sweetness in….” He trailed off and blinked owlishly. He did a sweep of the courtyard, noting the snowy carnage. “…What the heck happened here?”

“Hot chocolate?” Minuette asked hopefully, jumping to her hooves.

“Did someone say hot chocolate?” said Octavia, sitting up and licking her lips.

“Ah could go for some hot cocoa,” said Apple Bloom, popping her head out of the snow mound.

“Me too!” said Sweetie Belle, popping up next to her.

“Me three!” said Scootaloo, raising her hoof eagerly.

“Hey, you stay away from Trixie’s hot cocoa!” yelled Trixie, bursting out of the mound behind them with a flick of her cape.

“Everypony, chill,” said Spike calmly as more ponies started asking for hot chocolate themselves. “There’s plenty more in the kitchen. Help yourselves.”

Now that was an idea everypony could get behind.

They brushed themselves off and walked inside the castle together, chattering loudly at the highlights of the game and complimenting each other’s unique plays. Luna and Celestia brought up the rear, stopping short at the threshold as everypony else headed towards the kitchen.

“So, what did you think?” Luna asked her sister hopefully.

“I have to admit, that was very fun,” said Celestia, smiling brightly. “I suppose winter isn’t so bad – “

At that precise moment, a clump of snow fell off the roof and plopping on Celestia’s head. Luna guffawed out loud; her sister was less amused.
> Dressed for Success
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a perfectly normal, totally average, unassuming day in the famous orchard of Sweet Apple Acres, home of the (not-so-secret) headquarters of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, where nothing out of the ordinary ever happened….

And if any y’all believed that bunch of hooey, y’all should be ashamed of yourselves.

A magical portal suddenly opened up in front of the Crusader’s treehouse. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootloo trotted out with excited skips in their steps. They were soon followed by a unknown Earth Pony wearing a colorful sailor uniform with a pair of distinctive buns in her blonde mane.





“Phew, ah can’t believe we made it back alive,” said Apple Bloom, wiping the imaginary sweat from her brow.

“That was the most dangerous and epic adventure in the history of adventuring!” shouted Scootloo enthusiastically. “They were like – Boom! – and we were like – Pow – and they were like – AAH – and we were like – ha-hah! – and they were like – “

“We know, Scootaloo,” said Sweetie Belle levitating a fallen apple to plug her friend’s mouth, much to the Pegasus’ annoyance. “We were there, too.”

“I can’t thank you enough for all your help,” the magical pony gratefully. “Thanks to you, we can now begin a new era of peace.”

“Aw shucks, t’was nothin’,” said Apple Bloom bashfully. “We were just happy to help.”

“Good luck ruling the galaxy for a thousand years!” said Sweetie Belle.

The mysterious magical pony waved at the fillies before walking back into the portal, closing it behind her.

“Well, glad that’s over with,” Apple Bloom said to her friends. “Too bad we didn’t get our Cutie Marks for becoming magical girls and saving the galaxy from the personification of an abstract concept of evil.”

“I liked the uniforms, though,” said Sweetie Belle. “I should ask my sister is she can make one.”

“I know it’s a little late to be asking this,” Scootaloo chimed in, “but don’t you think it’s weird how we can just go into outer space and crossover into alternate universes without any real explanation?”

“Eh, ah just learn to go with the flow,” said Apple Bloom, shrugging nonchalantly.

“Yeah, no point in thinking too hard about it,” Sweetie Belle agreed.

“So what Cutie Mark y’all think we should try fer next?” asked Apple Bloom as she walked in the direction of their treehouse. “Ah was thinking we could try one fer giant robots – OUCH!”

Apple Bloom hadn’t looked where she was going and bumped her snout into something solid, knocking the filly on her flank. Sweetie Belle and Scootlaoo quickly rushed to her side. Apple Bloom groaned, rubbing her sore snout, and looked up at a familiar purple wagon with a star-studded motif.

“Hey, who parked this wagon in front of our treehouse?” Apple Bloom complained.

“Hey, isn’t that Trixie’s wagon?” said Scootaloo after noticing the wand Cutie Mark on either side of the window.

“If Trixie’s wagon is here,” said Sweetie Belle as realization washed over her. “Then that means….”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders gasped with excitement. They ran around the wagon and dashed up the ramp, bursting through the treehouse door. Inside they found their favorite heroes (well, second favorite), the Mane Six and Grubber the Hedgehog, sitting in a circle in the middle of the cramped space, apparently in the middle of a heated game of cards.

“Chew on this, suckers!” Trixie shouted triumphantly, throwing down her cards. “Three Lunas! Your pudding rights belong to Trixie!”

“Luna dang it!” yelled Sunset, throwing down her cards in frustration.

“How does she do it!” cried Grubber, tossing his own cards in the air.

“There’s no way that can be correct!” bellowed Twilight, her mane frazzled and her left eye twitching. “I’ve been counting those cards since the beginning! That’s scientifically impossible!”

“Uh, you do know counting cards is illegal, right?” Tempest commented.

“WHO CARES?” Twilight screeched.

“It’s the Mane Six!” Apple Bloom cheered, snapping the heroes out of the game. The young Earth Pony bound forward and threw her hooves around Moon Dancer. “It’s great ta see ya, Moon Dancer! Ah didn’t know y’all we coming.”

“Well, it wasn’t exactly planned,” said Moon Dancer, scratching her head sheepishly.

“What are you doing here?” asked Sweetie Belle curiously.

“Hey, girls,” Twilight greeted, patting down her mane. “Sorry to barge in like this. You’re probably wondering what we’re doing here.”

“…Yeah, that’s why I asked,” said Sweetie Belle strangely.

“Long story short, it’s Grubber’s fault,” said Tempest, shuffling the cards.

“Hey, don’t blame this on me!” Grubber yelled indignantly as Tempest dealt the cards. “I was in the hospital the whole time!”

“If you had kept your mouth shut, we would’ve found a way to defuse the situation,” Starlight stated matter-of-factly, levitating her cards.

“It’s your fault for letting it get that far in the first place!” shouted Grubber, pointing an accusing finger at Starlight.

“Whoa, this sounds bad,” said Scootaloo, taken aback. “What’d you guys do?”

“It was all our faults,” said Sunset emphatically, shooting looks at Starlight, Tempest, and Grubber. “We kinda…mad somepony mad.”

“Who?” asked Apple Bloom curiously.

“Sassy Saddles,” answered Starlight.

“The pony at the Canterlot Carousel?” said Sweetie Belle, surprised. “She’s only of the most mild-mannered ponies I know. What’d you do to set her off?”

“It’s kind of a long story,” said Starlight. “It all started the other day – “





Starlight Glimmer was positively trembling with excitement as she stood in front of the half-circle of mirrors at the Canterlot Carousel – the premiere dress shop in all of Canterlot! She had visited the establishment quite frequently these days after receiving her invitation to the Grand Galloping Gala, often forced to drag one of her other friends along. But today, it was just her.

The cause for her excitement was that Sassy Saddles had summoned her for the final fitting for her formal gown. These were the final measurements before Sassy did the real work towards the final product.

Starlight could just imagine herself at the Grand Galloping Gala, the belle of the ball, catching the eye of every stallion as she walked into the room. One face in particularly kept cropping up, which made her giggle with excitement.

“Whoa, simmer down that, Starlight,” said Sassy Saddles, pulling back the needles. “Keep moving around like that and I’m liable to stab you. And blood would not be a good color for you, dear.”

“Sorry, Sorry,” Starlight apologized. “I’m just so excited to see what it will look like. I can’t wait to show it off at the Grand Galloping Gala.”

“Oh?” Sassy spoke in a teasing tone. “Is there anypony in particular you are hoping to show off for?”

Starlight laughed in the awkward sort of way whenever she was embarrassed and said, “Wha-a-at? No, of course not! I just…really wanna look good for the Gala is all! No other reason whatsoever! No, just that!”

“Of course, dear,” said Sassy Saddles serenely with an amused smirk.

Starlight snapped her muzzle shut, her face flushed with embarrassment while Sassy went back to her needle work.

A moment later, the bell over the front door jingles, causing Starlight and Sassy to look over as Twilight Sparkle and Sunset Shimmer entered the store.

“Hey, Sassy,” Sunset greeted. “And no surprise to see you here, Starlight. Do you live in the store now?”

“If she does, she owes me four months’ worth of rent,” said Sassy Saddles jokingly.

“Oh, ha-ha,” said Starlight with an unamused grimace.

“Is there something I can help you with?” asked Sassy Saddles, carefully working her needle around the curve of Starlight’s side. “Twilight, your final fitting isn’t until tomorrow. Sunset, I already have your measurements from the previous years, so no worries in that regard.”

“Actually, I was hoping you could do me a quick favor,” said Twilight. She reached inside her saddlebag and pulled out a frumpy red dress with one of the buttons noticeably hanging by a literal thread. “Could you please fix a button for me. It’s my dress for the Grand Galloping Gala.”

Sassy Saddle’s jaw fell in horror, dropping her sowing needles on the floor with a clatter.

“I don’t know a lick about fashion,” said Sunset, her face contorted in disgust, “but ew.”

“Sunset, that’s rude!” said Twilight, offended.

“Element of Honesty,” said Sunset nonchalantly.

“Twilight Sparkle, have you lost your mind?” Sassy Saddle gasped.

“And the hits keep coming,” Twilight mumbled.

“I already promised that I would make each of the Mane Six’s dresses,” said Sassy Saddles fretfully. “Is something wrong? Did I do something to upset you? Is there anything I can do to make it right?”

“No, it’s nothing like that, Sassy!” said Twilight, raising her hooves defensively. “It’s just that I thought it would be so much work for one pony to make six new dresses. I figured that if I wore my own dress, it might lighten the load a bit.”

“No, I insist that I make you a new dress,” said Sassy Saddles. “If one of the Mane Six – the heroes of Equestria – were to turn down the offer, it would reflect poorly on the Carousel Boutique. And that would cause Miss Rarity to lose faith after she entrusted me with managing this Canterlot branch.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to get you into trouble,” said Twilight, frowning. “All right, I accept. Thank you for your help, Sassy. Knowing your work, I’m sure it’ll be absolutely beautiful.”

“It’s no trouble at all, dear,” said Sassy proudly.

“Personally, I would be fine with wear last year’s dress,” said Sunset indifferently.

Sassy Saddles gasped dramatically, and said, “You can’t be serious, Sunset! Wearing the same dress twice? No, no, no, absolutely not! Think about what everypony would say!”

“I don’t care,” said Sunset, shrugging.

“Just…let me make you a new dress,” said Sassy Saddle, pinning the sunny mare with a creepy stare as she invaded Sunset’s personal space. “I insist….”

“…Okay…,” Sunset answered in a small voice.

“Wonderful!” Sassy Saddles cheered, turning bright and sunny in an instant.

“LOOK OUT BELOW!”

Twilght, Sunset, Starlight, and Sassy Saddles jumped at the sudden scream, looking around for the source. Sassy let out a frightened yelp as Tempest suddenly crashed through the window, rolling across the shop like a bowling ball, and knocking over a display of mannequins that were oddly lined up like bowling pins. The dark mare scored a perfect strike, causing the mannequins to collapse on her. Everyone waited patiently in awkward silence before Tempest poked her head out, rubbing the sore spot on her temple.

“Ow…,” Tempest groaned. “Sorry ‘bout that. Was not expecting to take up flying lessons today.”

“Tempest, what happened?” gasped Sunset.

“Did you know Princess Luna installed a catapult in the vault security?” said Tempest, climbing out of the mannequin pile. “Because me and Grubber do. Now.”

“Hey, where is Grubber?” asked Starlight, looking around for the hedgehog.

“Huh…,” said Tempest, also looking around. “Guess he must’ve got launched somewhere else…. Oh well, I’m sure he’s fine – “





Strawberry Sunrise was enjoying a nice cup of chamomile tea and a slice of strawberry shortcake on this nice winter day at Cinnamon Chai’s Tea and Cake Shop. It had been a while since she had been admitted to the hospital. She was starting to think that whatever curse must have placed on her had finally lifted and she decided to splurge in celebration.

But just as she was about to take her first bite in her delicious strawberry…a pudgy hedgehog fell from the sky on top of her, smashing through the table.

“MY WING!”





“So what’s happening?” asked Tempest curiously. “Any particular reason why two-thirds of our little friendship circle are here?”

“We were just talking about how Sassy was making dresses for all of us for the Grand Galloping Gala,” Twilight answered.

“Dresses? We’ll still doing that?” Tempest groaned. “Can’t I just wear what I normally do?”

“The rules clearly state that that everypony must wear a gown or a tux,” said Sunset. Tempest opened her mouth. “No, you’re not wearing a tux. No matter how handsome you would look.”

“Oh, you think I’m handsome?” said Tempest smugly.

“Very handsome,” Sunset admitted slyly.

“…Are they going to kiss?” Sassy Saddles whispered to Starlight.

“No, but I wish they would,” said Starlight, rolling her eyes. “This whole slow burn thing is taking forever.”

“So it settled then!” Sassy Saddles brightly, using her horn to collect her fallen needles and summoned several rolls of fabric from the back. “I’ll make a new dress for all of you. And, of course, Trixie and Moon Dancer, too. When I’m finished, you mares will be the talk of the Gala!”

“That sounds wonderful, Sassy,” said Twilight positively. “But are you sure you can handle it?”

“Oh, it’ll be a little work,” said Sassy Saddles, “but making dresses for Equestria’s heroes will an enormous boost to the Carousel’s reputation. And while I’m not on the same level of design as Miss Rarity or her apprentice, Miss Pommel, this is a huge opportunity to test my skill.”

“As long as you’re having fun,” Sunset commented.

“Oh, it will be fun,” said Sassy Saddles giddily. “Especially when we add a quirky musical montage. Cue the music!”

“Oh no, you’re not getting me to – “ Tempest rejected firmly.













“ – e-e-e-e-e-ess!” Sassy Saddles finished her big musical number with a flourish while the Mane Six were scattered around the boutique, striking various poses.

“…I hate everypony,” Tempest, dropping her pose with a furrowed scowl.

“Wait, how did we get here?” asked Moon Dancer, looking round wildly, blinking in confusion. “I was just working my shift at the bookstore a second ago.”

“And Trixie was ordering an oat smoothie when Trixie was mysteriously transported by the power of music,” said Trixie, who looked at her empty hoof. “Hey, where’s Trixie’s smoothie?”

“Girls, I’m so happy you could make it!” said Sassy Saddles cheerfully, unconcerned by the random addition of two extra ponies in her shop.

“Not like we had a choice,” Sunset commented. “Your song made us dance for thirty hours.”

“My hooves are tired,” Starlight groaned.

“Yes, well, they do say that fashion is pain,” said Sassy Saddles, giggling nervously. “But, I think it was well worth it in the end. Behold: your new outfits for the gala!”

The taller mare stepped aside and gestured to six pony mannequins behind her with a wave of her hoof. Sown together onto each mannequin were six unique dresses that will be written in detail, but revealed later down the line because the writer is too lazy.

The Mane Six gasped in unison, though their expressions seemed underwhelming compared to what Sassy was expecting.

“Well, what do you think?” asked Sassy Saddles enthusiastically. “For you, Sunset, I went with a dusky theme to match your name, using a mostly purple style with gradating hues of yellow and orange. And Twilight, I made this dress for you to reflect your personality, mostly centralizing on a starry theme. Oh, Tempest, I know you don’t like bright colors, so I went with something dark that’s equal parts mysterious and alluring. Oh, and you’re going to love your dress, Moon Dancer. It’s absolutely dreamy in a literal sense. Starlight’s dress was a bit harder to nail down, but I think the reflective accents were just the thing. And Trixie, of course I would make yours as flashy as the mare who wears it.

“So, what do you think? Aren’t they all amazing?”

Rather than an applause or gasps of awe, Sassy’s response was…painfully awkward silence. The Mane Six just stared quietly…and stared…and stared…. Sassy’s sales-winning smile was starting to hurt now.

“…Wow…they’re…,” Twilight spoke up awkwardly.

“Yeah, they’re…uh…,” Starlight added unhelpfully.

“They sure are…something…,” Sunset continued with a painfully forced smile.

“Yeah, they’re…something, all right,” said Tempest, who was avoiding eye contact.

“Trixie loves…something,” said Trixie with an anxious giggle. “Something is…Trixie’s favorite.”

“They’re…nice,” said Moon Dancer quietly.

“What’s the matter?” asked Sassy Saddles, dropping her smile. “Don’t you like them?”

“They’re very nice…,” said Twilight anxiously.

“And we’re grateful because you worked so hard on them,” said Sunset, laughing awkwardly.

“Even if your song forced me to cut my shift at the bookstore and make us dance around,” Moon Dancer added with an unamused grimace.

“Mine’s not as impressive as I was imagining,” said Tempest bluntly, earning heated stares from her friends. “What? She asked.”

“I guess what we're all saying is that they're just not what we had in mind,” said Starlight Glimmer. The others vocalized their agreement, some nodding their heads. “I mean, they’re great. Just a little…underwhelming, I suppose the word is.”

“Okay…that’s okay, it’s not a problem,” said Sassy Saddles, letting out a huge dejected sigh. She immediately perked up and her smile returned. “They were only a first pass. You're my friends and I want you to be one hundred and ten percent satisfied. Not to worry, I'll redo them.”

“You don’t have to do that, Sassy,” said Starlight. “They’re fine just the way they are.”

“I want them to be better than just fine,” said Sassy Saddles firmly as she took the finished dresses, folded them up, and stuffed them in the backroom. “I want you to think they're absolutely perfect.”

“Are you sure?” asked Sunset, concerned. “I mean, we wouldn’t want to bother you.”

“Oh, it’s no bother at all,” said Sassy Saddles. “Really, I insist.”

“Well, in that case…,” said Twilight, “thanks again, Sassy.”

“No problem, Twilight!” said Sassy Saddles, waving the Mane Six off as they exited the parlor one by one. “I promise, they’ll be the best dresses you’ve ever seen! I swear it!” She waited until they were gone before letting her smile drop and muttered, “Dear Luna, what have I gotten myself into.”





Sassy had been working frantically for hours, stitching and re-stitching and re-re-stitching – there was a lot of stitching involved. The whole event with the Mane Six left her so on edge that her mane was starting to look frazzled and her normally stylish outfit was showing signs of wear and tear. But she had no time to worry about her appearance when there was so much work to be done!

Suddenly, there was a soft knock on the door and Moon Dancer stuck her head inside the backroom.

“Hello?” Moon Dancer called cautiously. “You wanted to see me, Sassy?”

“Moon Dancer!” Sassy Saddles shouted brightly. “Your new-new gown's ready. I completely revised it and I know you're going to love it.”

She gave Moon Dancer no chance to reply before telepathically picking up the bespectacled and practically throwing her into the changing room. Moon Dancer stuck her head out from behind the curtain to say something, but was cut off when the fashion mare slapped her in the face with her new dress. Moon Dancer sighed and ducked back inside, seeing no choice but to go along with it.

It took a few minutes to figure out where everything went, but Moon Dancer eventually got the dress on and stepped back out. Sassy presented her with a full length mirror, giving Moon Dancer a chance to look at herself.

This new dress was similar to the one Sassy made before, but had tossed out the starry dream theme for an emphasis on a crescent moon pattern with a special attention to the heavy moon pendent strung around her neck.

“Well, what do you think?” asked Sassy Saddles with an excited grin.

“I…like it,” Moon Dancer forced a smile after a moment’s hesitation.

“Oh, you’re just saying that…,” Sassy’s good mood instantly deflated.

“No, no, I do,” Moon Dancer insisted. “It’s…nice.”

“Nice?” Sassy Saddles repeated, staring her down with a cocked brow.

“Nice,” Moon Dancer parroted.

“If you don't like it, you should just tell me,” Sassy Saddles huffed.

“But I do like it,” said Moon Dancer, who at this point was not even convincing herself.

“Like it or love it?” Sassy Saddles questioned.

“Why are you do this?” Moon Dancer groaned. Why did she have to get stuck with the Element of Kindness? “Can’t you just accept the compliment?”

“It’s not a compliment if you’re lying,” said Sassy Saddles heatedly.

“Come on, that’s not fair,” Moon Dancer groaned.

“Then tell me what you really think,” Sassy Saddles demanded.

“Can’t you go bother Sunset?” Moon Dancer whined. “She’s the honest one…most of the time.”

“JUST TELL ME!” Sassy Saddles screamed, which caused the entire building to shudder.

“Okay, okay!” Moon Dancer cried, backing away in fear. “Well…If you really want to know….” She took a deep breath…then went into a long rant. “the armscye's tight, the middy collar doesn't go with the shawl lapel, the hems are clearly machine-stitched, the pleats are uneven, the fabric looks like toile, you used a backstitch here when it clearly called for a topstitch or maybe a traditional blanket stitch, and the overdesign is reminiscent of prêt-à-porter and not true Prance haute couture.”

Sassy’s jaw dropped, her eyes practically bulging out of their sockets. Whether it was because of Moon Dancer’s critique or her odd understanding of fashion design was anypony’s guess.

“…But, uh... you know... um, whatever you want to do is fine,” Moon Dancer backtracked quickly.




Things hardly improved for Sassy from that point. As she called in each of the Mane Six one by one, they all had their own opinions on the designs of their outfits.

Twilight Sparkle.

“Now, the stars on my belt need to be technically accurate. Orion has three stars on his belt, not four.”

Trixie.

“Don’t you think Trixie’s dress would be greater and more powerfuller if it was reminiscent of the great Harry Hoofdini? Ooh, and smoke bomb! Lots and lots of smoke bombs!”

Sunset Shimmer.

“It should have a hardcore rocker vibe. You know, like the Swords n’ Tulips or AB/CD. Oh, maybe I should grab one of my guitars so you can match.

Starlight Glimmer.

“I wanna match with Sunburst to show how compatible we are. Maybe some orange – no, blue – no purple – no, green! You know what, let’s just throw in all the colors to be safe.

Moon Dancer.

“It should be fancy, but not too fancy. Prance haute couture would be fine, if you can manage that, I mean. Please and thank you.”

Tempest Shadow.

“I’m not the dress wearing type, so I don’t care. Just make it dark. And skintight, but make the material breathable. And throw on some flankplates. Fancy parties are prime targets for assassins.”

With every new request and alteration, Sassy could feel a little bit of her sanity be chipped away. Not even a hoof-tapping song about ‘the Art of the Dress’ could fix the damage that had been done. 

Sassy worked herself tirelessly for two days straight with zero sleep, surviving only on coffee dregs, stale crackers she found in her desk, and her own literal sweat and tears. At one point, in the middle of the night, Sassy Saddles came close to having a nervous breakdown spent four hours huddled on the floor in a fetal position, muttering incoherently without blinking.

But on the morning of the third day, she finally – finally – finished!

Sassy collapsed on her front with a tired groan in the middle of the backroom. Her mane was unkempt and filthy with glue, glitter, and bits of confetti and her favorite outfit was reduced to little more than a scrap of cloth. But she could say that she had completed all six dresses as they requested.

And Sassy hated every single one of them.

“Oh my Luna, they’re awful,” Sassy Saddles moaned, covering her eyes with her hooves so she wouldn’t have to look at the abominations she created. “If anypony sees these hideous things, The Carousel franchise will be a laughing stock and then Miss Rarity will fire me….

She took a deep, cleansing breath. After a minute to let herself relax, Sassy stood up.

“But…I made a promise,” said Sassy Saddles. “Even if I hate them, as long as Starlight and the others are happy, then it’s fine. Right?”





Sassy summoned her clients to the boutique a few hours later. The Mane Six lined up with curious interest as the taller mare stood in front of a large curtain in the back of the shop.

“Okay, everypony, I did exactly what each of you asked for, so – why are Tempest and Trixie in prison clothes?” asked Sassy Saddles, just noticing the two ponies in black-and-white striped uniforms.

“We took a short trip to Appleloosa,” Trixie explained, “and then Tempest made us accessories to a train robbery!”

“How was I supposed to know that trunk was filled with gold bars?” Tempest argued.

“Never mind Tempest and Trixie’s wacky adventures,” Starlight waved them off, looking up at Sassy excitedly. “Show us the new dresses you made.”

“Yeah, I can’t wait to see them,” said Moon Dancer eagerly.

“The original dresses were already pretty great,” said Twilight. “And I bet these will turn out even better.”

“They better…,” Sassy muttered to herself. “Okay…here they are. Now don't hold back. Let me know what you really think.”

Everypony leaned forward eagerly as Sassy parted the curtains with her horns…then reeled back with restrained gasps at what they saw.

“So…what do you think?” asked Sassy Saddles nervously.

“What do we think…?” Starlight parroted with an anxious edge in her ton. “I think…you definitely did exactly as we asked for.”

And that was the worst decision they could’ve made, Starlight thought. Sassy had gone above and beyond to incorporate every one of their demands in their individual gowns, only for them to understand that they didn’t know what they were asking.

Twilight’s dress was essentially an ugly shower curtain with a bunch of constellations printed everywhere. Sunset’s looked more like she was part of a grunge band with a mixture of ripped fabrics and punk-styled patterns. Moon Dancer’s dress had somehow gone from dreamy, to moon themed, to an oversized abomination of lace, feathers, and rhinestones. Starlight’s gown looked more like an abstract painting than something to wear, sown with patches of every color under the rainbow. Trixie’s outfit looked an old vaudeville entertainer’s outfit combined with showmare’s sequins and a bunch of little smoke bombs sown into it. And Tempest’s dress wasn’t even a dress – it was a full suit of armor totally not reminiscent to a certain weather-themed supervillain.

The Mane Six were locked in stunned silence. Starlight glanced sideways at Sassy Saddles, who smile was so forced it looked like it hurt. She was so desperate for their approval.

“So, what do you think?” asked Sassy Saddles earnestly.

“…Wow, I am…words escape me,” said Sunset hesitantly.

“Trixie…cannot even begin to describe how…unique these dresses are,” said Trixie with a nervous giggle.

“You definitely…did everything we asked for,” said Twilight, forcing a smile herself.

“So you that means you’re happy with them?” asked Sassy Saddles with a desperate, almost crazed look in her eyes.

“We’re…happy that you did so much for us,” said Starlight, avoiding the taller mare’s eye. “We made a lot of unreasonable demands of you.”

“Oh, it was no trouble at all!” said Sassy Saddles, perking up. “As long as your happy, I’m happy. I know you’ll knock them dead when you walk into the Grand Galloping Gala wearing these gowns.”

“Yeah, ‘cause they’ll gouge their eyes out,” Tempest muttered quietly before Sunset elbowed her in the flank.

“I’m just relieved to finally be done,” said Sassy Saddles, sighing contently. “Now we can put this nightmare behind us – “

Just then, the boutique door was thrown open much harder than necessary, making a loud banging noise. Sassy and the Mane Six looked to the front of the store as Grubber waddled inside, stomping his little feet.

“Hey, everypony, so glad to see you!” Grubber shouted loudly. “How’s everypony doing? Me? Oh, you know, I’ve just been in the hospital for FIVE DAYS! Not that any of you came to visit me!”

“Grubber, not the time,” Tempest hissed through gritted teeth.

“I mean, I get that I’m not a big deal like the rest of you ponies,” said Grubber furiously, marching around the shop. “But the least you could’ve done was acknowledge my existence” – he stopped in front of the awful dresses, staring up at them with bulging eyes – “…Wow, those are the ugliest dresses I’ve ever seen.”

“Grubber!” Sunset snapped, glancing anxiously in Sassy’s direction.

“Oh, come on, you can’t actually think this is good,” Grubber critiqued, waddling between the designs. “I mean, these amateurish designs look like a piled-on mishmash of everything but the kitchen sink! It’s like the designer had no idea what they were doing and just threw a bunch of random stuff together to make the most hideous dressed in ponydom. It's a downright horror show. If you wore these for Nightmare Night, you’d terrify every little foal in the kingdom – “

The pudgy hedgehog was suddenly lifted off the ground by a cyan aura and tossed across the store, landing in a large pile of discarded and scrapped fabric.

“I’m so sorry about that, Sassy,” Starlight apologized to the taller mare, who had gone stock-still during Grubber’s triage. “I’m sure Grubber didn’t mean it – “

“I did mean it!” Grubber yelled from across the store.

“…Starlight…,” Sassy Saddles spoke in a hollow voice.

“Yes…?” Starlight replied nervously.

“Do you actually like the dresses?” Sassy Saddles asked in the same hollow voice.

“Well…we’re very, very grateful for your generosity and the hard work you put into making them,” said Starlight. “But it’s come to our attention that we should not have gotten involved in your work.”

“Yeah, asking us for our opinion was a big mistake,” Trixie commented.

“We don’t know a thing about fashion,” said Moon Dancer.

“And these designs are proof of that,” said Sunset, cringing as she looked at the dresses again.

“We’re sorry for all the trouble we caused, Sassy,” Twilight apologized sincerely. “We should have let you make our outfits without our input. Those first dresses you designed were perfect.”

“But, hey, I think we all learned an important lesson from all this!” said Starlight brightly. “I’m sure we’ll all look back and have a big laugh about it!”

Starlight started laughing, but it was obviously forced. She snapped her head to the other mares and urged them to join in. One by one, everypony joined in, including Grubber, but there was an noticeable sense of apprehension about it. Sassy Saddles remained still as a statue.

“Uh…Sassy?” Twilight called nervously.

The taller mare’s right eye started twitching.

“Are…you okay, Sassy?” asked Sunset anxiously.

Sassy started to shake violently, her face turning red like a volcano about to erupt.

“Should we call an ambulance or…?” Trixie questioned uncertainly.

Steam was literally starting to rise from Sassy’s ears. The Mane Six cautiously back away until the fashionable mare literally exploded! Sassy Saddles screamed furiously and her horn unleashed a pulse wave of magic that pushed everything in the store against the walls, including the Mane Six, so that the entire middle was clear. Sassy then started bouncing in circles, bucking her hind legs at the air like a wild bronco.

“She’s totally lost it!” Trixie screamed, hiding behind Tempest.

“Sassy, calm down!” cried Twilight, terrified. “We said we’re sorry!”

Twilights words went ignored by the enraged mare, who suddenly started braying out of nowhere.

“Oh my Luna, she’s gone donkey!” Moon Dancer shrieked.

“Sassy, if you don’t calm down, I’ll force you to!” yelled Sunset, lighting up her horn.

Sassy lit up her own horn in retaliation. The door to the backroom flew open and a badass gilded battle axe levitated to her side!

“WHERE DID SHE GET THAT!” screamed Tempest.





Celestia gasped hopefully as she poked her head inside the ancient, worn-out treasure chest, only to be disappointed that she didn’t find what she was looking for and shut the lid.

“Luna!” Celestia called out to her sister on the opposite end of the royal treasury. The midnight mare had been admiring a gemstone-covered egg when she heard her sister’s cry. “Have you seen my badass gilded battle axe? You know, the one I used to fight Sombra during the Crystal War?”

“You didn’t leave it lying around again, did you?” Luna asked exasperatedly.

“No!” said Celestia, chortling nervously. “Uh…excuse me for a second.”

And on that note, the princess of the sun teleported herself to who knows where. Luna face-hoofed herself with an exaggerated sigh, then rubbed her muzzle thoughtfully.

“Hmm, now that I think about it,” Luna hummed. “Whatever happened to my badass silver broadsword?”





“Sassy, calm down!” cried Starlight, holding up her hooves. “I know you’re angry – “

Sassy took a swing with the axe. Starlight ducked underneath, but the surprisingly sharp blade sliced three mannequin pony heads off clean.

“Uh…should we run?” Moon Dancer asked Twilight fearfully.

“That would the smart decision, yes,” said Twilight.

The Mane Six and Grubber ran out of the store before Sassy took another swing at their heads. Trixie opened the door to her wagon, which was conveniently parked out in front, and let everypony inside before shutting it behind them. The stagemare then climbed to the front and used her horn magic to move and wheels and took off down the road like a bat out of Tartarus.

Sassy Saddles smashed through her recently repaired window, her nostrils flared and mane wild. Everypony on the street screamed when they saw the swinging battle axe and ducked out of sight. Sassy spied Trixie’s wagon, rearing up on her hind legs with an enraged whinny, and chased them.

Trixie made a beeline for the city gates, scaring the guard ponies who dived out of the way as the wagon barreled through the giant wooden doors. Trixie looked back and yelped when she saw Sassy Saddles keeping pace with her speedy wagon.

“How is she so fast?” the stagemare shrieked.

“Her rage has given her super pony powers!” yelled Tempest, sticking her head out the window.

“Trixie, cliff!” Twilight warned, poking out underneath Tempest and pointed ahead.

Trixie looked forward and realized they were rolling towards the edge of the mountain, but they were moving too fast to stop. Thdey flew off the edge of the cliff and plummeted down the mountainside. And Sassy dived after them with the battle axe between her teeth – 





“And that’s how we ended up here,” Starlight concluded.

“Wait, you fell off a cliff and survived?” Sweetie Belle gasped.

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” said Moon Dancer nonchalantly, throwing away two cards.

“Yeah, we’ve gotten really good at it,” said Sunset, exchanging one card.

“Pardon me fer sayin’,” Apple Bloom spoke up, “but y’all are a bunch o’ jerks.”

“We realized that as we were falling ten thousand hooves to our deaths,” Trixie agreed, exchanging no card.

“We’re going to apologize to Sassy once she’s had a chance to calm down,” Twilight explained, also exchanging no cards. “Until then, would you mind letting us hide here for now.”

“Sure, ah guess that’s okay,” said Apple Bloom.

“Aren’t you guys worried she might hunt you down here?” asked Scootaloo.

“Nah, we lost her when we went through that bat cave,” said Grubber, exchanging three cards. “She’ll never find us here.”

THUNK!

“What was that?” asked Scootloo, looking up as the entire treehouse quivered.

THUNK! THUNK!

“It’s coming from outside,” said Twilight as the shaking became more frequent.

Everypony dropped what they were doing and squeezed themselves through the door. They looked over the railing down to the base of the tree and gasped.

Sassy Saddles had found them and she still looked peeved. She was chopping the tree with the battle axe and was halfway through.

“She found us!” screamed Starlight, panicking.

THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!

CRACK!

“We’re goin’ down!” Apple Bloom as the treehouse tilted sideways – 

CRASH!





Trixie stepped out of her wagon levitating a cup of freshly brew potion. She carried it over to a now coolheaded Sassy Saddles, who was surrounding by a circle of concerned mares and one pudgy hedgehog. The stagemare offered the potion to Sassy.

“Here you go,” said Trixie. “One calming brew – one sip will wash away all their nerves and anxiety.”

“Thank you,” Sassy Saddles said gratefully in a small voice. She took a sip and, just as Trixie said, her entire body felt relax. “Mmm, that’s much better.”

“Are you okay, Sassy?” asked Starlight, patting the taller mare’s back in concern.

“I’ll be fine, Starlight,” Sassy Saddles reassured her. “Sorry I kinda…blew up on you guys.”

“Hey, it’s totally understandable,” said Tempest reasonably.

“We’re the ones who should apologize to you,” said Twilight understandingly “We shouldn’t have been critical on your dresses – “

“Especially when we have no sense of fashion,” Moon Dancer chimed in. “I mean, look at me. I’ve been wearing this ratty sweater for months.”

“The point they’re trying to make is…,” Sunset interjected, “you were generous and patient with us, and we took advantage of that. We’re sorry. Right, girls?”

The other mares nodded and make noises of affirmation.

“Oh, thank you, everypony,” said Sassy, relieved.

“You know, if you still have those dresses,” Starlight piped up, “I’m sure we’d be happy to try them on.”

“Really?” Sassy gasped hopefully. The Mane Six nodded together; Sassy clapped her hooves happily. “Splendid!”

Sassy Saddle’s horn lit up and she magically teleported all six folded dresses that she had left in the backroom of her boutique. She levitated the dresses to their respective owners and trotted over to join Grubber and the Cutie Mark Crusaders as they waited patiently for the mares to change behind the trees. After a few moments, the Mane Six trotted out into the open and posed for their small audience:





“Wow, they’re amazin’!” Apple Bloom complimented.

“That’s totally something Rraity would come up with!” Sweetie Belle praised.

“I like Tempest’s look,” said Scootloo. “It’s both stylish and mysterious!”

“Looking good out there everypony!” Grubber cheered.

“You know, now that we’re actually wearing them,” said Starlight, looking over herself. “These are absolutely perfect. Thank you, Sassy!”

“Oh, really, it was my pleasure,” Sassy Saddles smiled, clapping her hooves together.

“Ah’m so glad y’all had a peaceful resolution,” said Apple Bloom…who then pointed to the giant pile of splintered wood several yards to the right. “Now who’s gonna fix our treehouse?”

You could almost hear the needle scratching on the record as everypony froze in place. The Mane Six exchanged glances, then looked toward Sassy Saddles. The fashionista chuckled sheepishly.





It had taken hours for Sassy to finish fixing the Cutie Mark Crusader’s treehouse. It was only right since she had chopped it down with a badass battle axe Princess Celestia left in her shop for some random reason. She was grateful that the Mane Six offered to help.

By the time they finished and Sassy took the last train on the Friendship Express, it was already night time when she returned to Canterlot. The fashionista would’ve like nothing than to head home after a long day, but there was still the mess she left at the Canterlot Carousel after her…meltdown. That would undoubtedly take the entire night to clean up.

Sassy sighed dejectedly as she approached the boutique doors and pulled out her keys…not even realizing that the window she had broken earlier was mysteriously repaired.

“Well, might as well get this over with,” Sassy Saddles sighed. “This if going to be a long night….”

“But when she unlocked the door and flipped on the lights, she was shocked to discover everything was…normal.

All of the dresses were back on the racks, the mannequins were fixed and back in their proper places, and there wasn’t a single scratch, dent, or even a speck of dust on any surface.

“Wha – I – how did – “ Sassy Sputtered incoherently, walking further into the store.

She reached the back of the boutique where she found her hideous designs still on their mannequins. However, she also noticed a folded piece of paper taped to Starlight’s design. Sassy telepathically picked up the note, unfolded it, and read:

These designs may be ugly, darling, but the love and generosity you put into making them is beautiful. I know I chose the right mare for the job.

Love,

R

Sassy finished the note and smiled to herself…not seeing the streak of white light flying past the boutique window.