Ok, time to be serious
"This family. Second from the right. These are the Alkaline Earth Metals. Can you tell me how many valence electrons they have?"
Yona stared at the paper, scrunching her nose cutely and squinting like she was searching her hair for lice, as if any chance of noticing such an infestation (or doubt of it's existence) through her thick hair existed. To her credit, she was clearly trying very hard to answer the question.
"It says it at the top, remember that." Ocellus added, smiling encouragingly.
"12!" Yona's eyes lit up, looking very pleased with herself.
"Close; 2. Look at the last number of the double digits at the top."
The two students sat close to each other, both wrapped in a blanket at a lone table in the library, lit by a single lamp. Pages and pages of notes were strewn out before them, covering every possible subject from Chemistry to History to Advanced Being A Pretty Pony II. Upon remembering the exams the next day, Yona had taken it upon herself to approach Ocellus with the hardest admission of her life - Yak was not the best at everything, perhaps. This claim had been disputed among scientific experts for years, but until then, no evidence had reached serious academic consideration, save one pony who once claimed to see a yak drop a basket they were holding and swear.
And so, bestowed with this secret, Ocellus had made a grave promise; that by the end of the night, she would ensure Yona was prepared for her exams, even if it meant replacing her in her class and performing the tests for her. She wouldn't be happy if it came to that, but a yak promise was a yak promise, and a yak promise always followed a yak secret, meaning if Ocellus wanted to keep her yak friendship, she would do what it took, no matter how yak unhappy it made her.
That was the gist Ocellus got. It was a bit hard to keep up.
"Why do non-metals on this side all have names reflecting first element, while this named Alkaline Earth Metal?" Yona questioned, plopping her wet nose onto the spots she intended to point to, refusing to take her hooves out of the warm blanket.
"Because they're alkaline in water. Why they didn't keep the scheme, I can't say. Ponies just liked it better that way." Ocellus shrugged, sticking a yawn and looking out for the moon. It was completely gone. This would be more concerning if they weren't so high.
Yona still looked unconfident, but elected to move onto a different paper instead.
"Pick algebra question for Yona to answer."
Ocellus closed her eyes, slamming a hoof down onto a random question and pushing it to Yona. As she perused it, Ocellus checked the window again, sighing.
Yona wasn't stupid. She was stubborn and logically minded, but she was not stupid. Once the concept made it through to her, she picked up quick, but.... Ocellus had been working with her all night, and she just had such awful memory, it was near painful. And while Ocellus herself remained one of the smartest students in school, apparently teaching others wasn't her strong suit. This was not a very good combination, as both students could detect from the second the session began... ten hours earlier at 8 PM.
Yona smiled brightly, turning in the completely wrong answer with the confidence of someone who clawed their way out of hell on a golden spider silk to meet Buddha and was not impressed.
"I... Yona, no..." Ocellus mourned softly.
Yona's eyes bulged from a lack of sleep. "I... I counted the points on the graph..."
"Yona... Buddy... The translation is inside the parentheses... That reverses the direction you translate the parabola..."
"...Which means?"
"Which means the minus sign in f(x) = (x - 2) means you shift the parabola two digits to the right."
Yona stomped her hoof onto the table angrily.
"Why?"
"That's just how it is, Yona. You gotta remember to perform the opposite direction when the translation is horizontal."
Yona legitimately looked like she was about to cry. Ocellus couldn't blame her. The entire week had been stressful with notes and homework cutting into more and more of their free time, and she wasn't sure how much longer the yak could last. Losing every hour of sleep tonight certainly wasn't going to help.
"Yona is the stupidest student in school.... She should've stayed in Yakyakistan...."
"No, Yona, it's not your fault. You've been given a lot of work. Even I'm overwhelmed. Tomorrow, after the exams, I'm going to Professor Fluttershy and going to arrange a mental health break for the three of us. A break from everything, okay?"
Yona smiled slightly, resting her chin on the table and drooping her eyelids, but quickly gave out under the immense stress of trying to move her muscles away from gravity.
"After the exams..." She muttered forlornly.
"We'll get through. All we need is a way to get through those exams, and... After that, I can guide you through the rest of the school year... I'd be happy to."
The tip of Yona's mouth once again graced her cheek, but it was clear she was losing more of her strength. They couldn't keep studying. She needed that last hour of sleep.
Ocellus, on the other hand, was far beyond used to late nighters. As her friend quickly slipped into snooze, the changeling stayed up, nuzzled into Yona's fur, under the same blanket, and thought. As much as she hated to do it, she needed to cheat to help her friend. Surely her professors would understand if they found out. So what did she know?
The two had separate exam classes, and separate exam days. If needed, she certainly could take her place... But there were so many mannerisms she could slip up on, and the professors had already become keen at detecting imposters among them. She could turn into something and attempt to feed her answers.... But she couldn't see the paper, or whisper answer, or hear Yona whispering as an inanimate object without growing easily noticable appendages... Not to mention she didn't like turning into inanimate objects. It was always annoying dispersing her brain cells throughout plastic or wood, and existential Ship of Theseus questions always forced their way in the longer she spent in those forms.
So, she'd have to keep a biological form.... Where she could see the paper.... And whisper answers.... And not get caught....
Yona snored loudly next to her. With every Z not typed out, her muzzle creaked open like a trapdoor, expelling some of her trademark dog breath. Ocellus looked up at her, mentally measuring their size difference.
She had an idea.
---*---
The next day, after an awkward show of how bad of an actor Yona was in loudly demanding to go to the bathroom where she would not do anything suspicious worth watching no sir, she hastily departed her testing room, several minutes before the first exam was scheduled to begin.
Awfully maintained bathrooms are a universal constant, and I'm sorry to anyone who previously saw Equestria as a Paradise of holiness, but some constants cannot be quelled by all the magic in the world. If it makes you feel any better, Equestria probably wouldn't have let you in anyway. They don't take kindly to humans.
Graffiti depicting, advertising, and snarking everything from Kilroy, A Good Time, and Smolder Being A Trash Boat littered the walls. One stall had a broken door. One stall was still infested with Aka Manto. One stall didn't exist. It may have looked as if it did, but it didn't. If students were confused, they would ask the Aka Manto. They'd always be polite enough to explain whether it's safe to use it that day or not.
The final bathroom was a handicapped stall, which always made the users feel guilty, but really what were they supposed to do? People were constantly complaining to the school board - I didn't even mention how shitty the soap dispensers are, or how the faucet handles don't even turn all the way, or how often pee is splattered on the edges of the toilet; fucking hell, how hard is it to clean up your own mess, you filthy fucking horse?
Sorry. Got off topic.
Yona approached the final stall, the only one big enough to hold her (she really wasn't sure what she'd do if it broke down), and slunk inside, quickly greeted by Ocellus shifting from her previous form of inspirational graffiti scrawled on the inside of the stall door. She sighed, looking up at Yona firmly.
"I... I'm doing this because I care about you. And because I yak promised you I would help you with this exam. So.... Open wide."
Yona leaned down a bit too happily, opening her jaw as wide as she could. Her large tongue lolled out onto the floor with a splat, which probably was more hygienic than what the bug was about to do.
Ocellus bit her lip, staring down the gently pulsating gullet in front of her, furnished with a squishy pink carpet uncurled over flat teeth the size of her hoof. She hadn't seriously expected to be able to fit inside without shapeshifting, but what was more, she would still have some wiggle room. She was out of excuses to do this.
That morning, after waking up comfortably tucked into bed (That had taken a toll on Ocellus), Yona had been briefed on the plan. Just the other week the yak had swallowed an entire globe whole on a dare, one that had taken the changeling every ounce of will to avoid gagging at. Now she was about to take the place of that globe, and she could already tell the experience was going to be every bit as pleasant as it had looked from the outside.
She took a moment to get used to the yak halitosis first. Once her eyes stopped watering (She hadn't even been aware she had tear glands until now), she took in a breath, and finally pressed her hoof onto Yona's tongue, grimacing at the saliva pooling into the depression she made. She shot a look at its' owner when she attempted to sneakily curl the tip of her tongue up for a better taste.
Ocellus took another step in, and had to hunch down as she pushed past the furry upper lip, horn brushing the ceiling as she did. Finally, forcing herself to take the last step, she pulled her hindlegs in, and Yona immediately shut her trap, sore from holding it open for the nervous bug crawling in.
Ocellus took another swathe of breaths, slowly adjusting her eyes to the humid darkness around her. The entire chamber was shifting, whether from breathing or actual voluntary movements, shaking something wet loose to drape over her nose. She forced herself not to wipe it off, or even stick her tongue out in disgust, reasoning that she would have to endure much more of it in a moment.
"Alright... Don't choke yourself..." Ocellus added, not very worried at all. The ring of flesh in front of her seemed to snap at her hungrily, and she grimaced as the floor she had trusted lurched up, sliding her down the slick and bumpy surface of taste buds coating it.
Muffled squelches sounded around her like an echo chamber as the tunnel rippled and squeezed, growing to fit her through and carry her... Somewhat smoothly down, towards the increasingly loud sound of a heartbeat belonging to the most powerful heart she had ever heard.
Yona strained to push down the parcel in her mouth, happily sneaking in tastes whenever she could. Ocellus only got caught briefly on the trip down, leaving a confused and distraught Yona with a cherry red flap of tail cuticle dangling from her mouth, only to make a few hasty saving gulps that got the changeling moving again.
Ocellus' compound eyes finished adjusting just as she made the final lap, after several minutes of constant massaging over her entire body in a claustrophobic stream of darkness.
To her unfortunate surprise, swallowing globes was apparently not too high of an order for her friend.
Yona's stomach was littered with all manner of books, pens, rocks, student id cards, horseshoes, records, and what Ocellus had a sinking feeling was part of one of her old exoskeletons. The girl's appetite was seriously starting to scare her.
But she couldn't remain squeamish. She was already in the furnace (It certainly felt like it), and she had a serious job to do. Lives hung in the balance.
They didn't. But life is a lot more boring if you don't occasionally pretend something is far more important than it actually is.
"Is Changeling safe in there?" Yona called. Now that the hardest part was done, having her belly filled didn't feel all that bad. She did so love stuffing it on a normal day, and were it not for the stress of the job that required this, she would enjoy batting at and playing with the lump hanging under her a lot more.
"I'm... Fine. Get back to class, quickly."
The sack Ocellus was in shook as Yona hurried out of the stall, toppling piles of trash and other likely inedible objects, and coating her once again in all manners of internal juices. She barely held in her own as weak acids leaked into her mouth, biting and nipping at the inside and forcing her to swallow them down, only serving to carry the burning deeper into herself where it eventually subsided. The acrid, acidic smell completely washed over her as the stomach tossed and turned, splashing an ooze of digested proteins off her chitin. The poor bug was beyond disgusted. She had no idea how some people could like this, let alone read fanfiction of their favorite cartoon characters going through this.
Yona returned to her room happily, radiating odd amounts of confidence after her earlier panic that very morning. A few odd glances were shot towards the furry sag hanging off her, but a mutual agreement was made among classmates to not question it. Whatever it was, they didn't want to know.
After instructions from Professor Rarity that took far too long, repeating such revolutionary and complex concepts as 'Bubble inside the circles', 'Stop at the section marked stop', 'Make sure the answers on your paper match your scantron', and 'The section on the whiteboard that says Minutes Left tells you how many minutes are left', the test began. Yona coolly looked around, making sure no eyes were wandering... And quickly crumpled up the paper, swallowing it whole. She wondered how Ocellus would keep it from getting wet, why she didn't think the teachers would notice she had lost her paper, and why this was the first thought her brain jumped to, but trusted her like a dog trusts its master.
And besides, the paper didn't taste bad either.
Ocellus snatched at the test as soon as it rolled through the tunnel above her, quickly uncrumpling it and darting her eyes over the questions. This was easy for her; she had practiced this a thousand times before.
What wasn't easy for her was writing in a wet, shifting, disgusting, smelly, gurgling gut.
And writing without a pencil.
Ocellus was beginning to realize more and more how horribly thought out this plan was.
Fortunately, she at least had a solution for that last. Grimacing in sympathy for her friend, she picked a small black pen out of a pile beside her, clicking it on and scribbling in the margins to test the ink. Then, at last, after already too long in such an alien environment, she was back in her comfort zone. Plastering a look of determination on, she straightened her drifting elytra, bit her tongue (and quickly retracted it upon catching a string of spittle), and set to work.
Halogens were the second to last family on the far right of the periodic table. Compression or stretching of a line or parabola is signified by a number to the far left of the equation, and whether it was outside or insider parentheses told you if it was a horizontal or vertical change. RAVEN: Remember, Affect = Verb, Effect = Noun. The scrolls found with the first records of the Tempus Objectus details Somnambula's second great feat of heroism as traveling deep into a Snake's belly to save the devoured citizens of nearby towns.
Mood.
---*---
While Ocellus stretched her brain with ease in an oppressive and pressuring environment, Yona performed the equally admirable task of sitting in a chair and pretending to be very interested in a paper on her table that didn't exist. However, even the most masterful of actors (who was currently going insane in a stone bodytight prison) could only do so for so long in public before someone with a working eye noticed and went,
"Yona, darling."
Actually, they probably wouldn't say that. That's more of a Rarity specific thing.
"Where on earth has your paper gone?"
Yona stared dead ahead with the confidence of someone who knows their spray of sweat is invisible under their thick fur.
"Bed. Head! It's in Yona's head. She is thinking carefully."
"But... Where is it?"
"Where... Are you?"
This did not seem to help. She decided to try a different approach, using her massive brain to deduce the best path of dialogue.
"I mean, it's right there."
She picked up her pencil, hovering it a half inch above the table. Confidence was a lot, but it was not, unfortunately, paper. Rarity started to look concerned. Yona's galaxy brain kicked into overdrive again - if she backed up again, she would certainly be considered suspicious. Therefore, the only option was to push forward.
"Gallus sees it, right?"
"Totally. It's right there." Gallus confirmed from the next desk, very interested in where this was going and what he had been signed on for. However, Gallus had the trustworthiness of a one eyed Fae, and everyone knew it.
Narrowing her both eyes, Rarity called in backup from her testing assistant, already beginning to suspect a battle of wits was underway, a challenge in her classroom, that she worked meticulously to maintain order in, right in front of the salad she had brought for her lunch break.
"Pinkie darling, is there paper on Miss Yona's desk?"
Pinkie appeared beside Rarity as if she was always there (and perhaps she was), staring at the empty space intently. So intently, that Yona and Rarity both began to worry she was asleep.
It is still debated by historians what went through her mind that second. Maybe, in some way, she already knew Yona was cheating. Maybe she wanted to stick up for her, someone her childlike mind saw as a friend. Maybe she didn't understand, but felt confident in Yona's ability in whatever she was doing. Or maybe, like Gallus, she simply wanted to see what happened. Whatever it may be, one word graced her lips that second, oiling time's cogs and allowing them to once again run smoothly.
"Yeppers."
Rarity's eyes widened, and she steadied herself on a student's desk, looking frantically at the desk top.
"I... Need a moment."
She quickly fled the room. Pinkie stared at Yona with an unreadable expression, before suddenly disappearing as if she was never there. Perhaps she wasn't.
And the test continued.
Only a few minutes later, Yona suddenly coughed a crumpled up, wet ball of paper onto her table.
---*---
"Is Ocellus okay in there?" Yona whispered to her gut as students begin filing out of the room. Ocellus, who had had a long day in an already confusing student life, simply decided to be honest.
"Yona... It's disgusting in here. You seriously need to stop eating any inanimate object."
"But they look good and they fit in Her throat!" She whined, turning down a hallway away from the cafeteria everyone else was heading towards.
"If that's your criteria for food, I'm telling Silverstream to hide Edith around you."
"Yona would never do that! She would not - Oh, hi Silverstream."
This was the last piece of outside dialogue Ocellus heard before the murky, soupy puddle around her began rising, and an object precariously holding up a pile of binders beside her melted enough to topple the entire tower over her and the pool of acid. By the time she pulled herself out (and placed several under her to keep floating above the corrosive muck), Yona was moving again.
In the complete opposite direction, Yona awkwardly followed her friends.
"That's the problem, really. I don't think ponies can survive under Dunbar's number for more than a year without collapsing into a black hole. That's why they keep befriending entire species." Smolder theorized to Silverstream.
"You okay, Yona? You looked a little sick in class." Gallus asked her, seemingly choosing to leave mystery paper bygones be mystery paper bygones.
"Yak is fine!" She loudly declared.
"Where's Ocellus? She should've caught up with us by now." Sandbar brought up, interrupting Smolder and Silverstream's brainstorming of an advice show for the quantum era called My Black Hole My Black Hole And Me.
"She should be... Huh. Yona, you know anything?" Smolder asked Yona as she entered the cafeteria, scanning tops of heads. Ocellus had a very recognizable top of head. It was often voted the best part of her body by students in those sorts of school polls.
"Yona... Is... Unsure..." Yona feebly responded, very uncomfortable with the swaying of eyes towards her conversation brought. She had just realized what the increased gurgling and pain in her belly meant - A hot, wet, and tired changeling was becoming increasingly agitated, and working harder to break free.
Inside her belly, Ocellus was pushing against her enclosure, spreading her hooves as wide apart as she could. Bubbles fizzed under her painfully, making her frown in anxiety as she tried to stir a tummyache. She really wasn't sure if bubbling was good or bad, not the enclosure suddenly tightening.
"You sure? You look like your stomach isn't agreeing with you." Gallus asked as they took a seat at a table, very familiar with the look after years of butchering stray animals in Griffonstone alleys.
"Yona... Is..."
There was just enough time for a considerate student to tell "Not on the table!" before Yona lost most of her lunch from the past two weeks with a loud and wet belch; a very controversial fashion statement being worn by a small blue changeling who was suddenly looking like they would rather be anywhere other than in the middle of a school cafeteria after being vomited out of a yak.
"How was the test?" She shakily volunteered.