> The Pony That Wanted To Be A Hero > by DanishDash > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Regret > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- So, I had made it.. Finally I had achieved my biggest dream! I managed to become a hero, I have saved Equestria and my fellow ponies. Better yet, I have saved my friends. I actually managed to save them, me, the most common of common ponies.. The nopony from a small town nopony had ever heard about. The bumbling happy go lucky colt who somehow always managed to screw up. I was never made for greatness, never meant to be a hero.  And yet, I have saved Equestria.. Which would be much better if I was actually there to appreciate it! But no, I'm here, wherever here is. Floating in the great dark void, listening to my own sobs as I try to come to terms with the fact I will never see my friends or family again. Never ever will I feel the green grass beneath my hooves. Never again will I enjoy the summer breeze through my mane or the sweet taste of an apple or hear the laughter of my friends. I've given up everything to save them, and now I will float here alone for centuries to come, alone and forgotten. I wish I could say I was feeling noble, that I could simply vanish with dignity and be a great example for the generations to come, but I'm afraid, I'm scared and I feel miserable. The void is neither hot or cold, but I can feel the warm tears that are streaming down my cheeks. I don't regret what I did, someone had to do it, and since I caused the problem to begin with, it only seemed fair. Even though I know what I did was the right thing, I am forced to realize that I will never see my family again. My mother, father, brother, anypony. Just imagining them getting the news that their son is trapped in a world where there is nothing. I could just imagine my mom's cries, just thinking about it made my heart hurt, like a knife had been plunged into it. Only thing that was missing was the twist and the salt being poured into that emotional wound. "Bravo, bravo indeed.." And there it was.. "I must say I'm impressed. Didn't think you would have the courage to throw yourself into the void just to keep little old me sealed away for good.." The voice was deep, mixed in with almost animalistic growls. It wasn't a stern voice, it was almost playful, the tone itself beaming with intelligence. It was the creature, the demon, or monster if you will. It was the only thing in here with me, but it served me right. After releasing this monster in some stupid attempt to become a hero it only seemed fair I, and I alone ended up here. "What's the matter? Are you realizing how stupid that idea was? Do you realize you have doomed us both to a life of nothing? That we shall never be free? Forever float in the void, live forever and know we both are forever hated?" I didn't reply, I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. I didn't care what had happened to us, I cared about my friends. They were all safe, including the kingdom, that was all that mattered.  "Thinking about those pesky ponies? You do know they were never your friends, right? If they ever were your friends they are certainly not any longer. You heard what Rainbow Dash said, you're the villain. You even got locked up." I didn't want to listen, but what could I do? He was speaking in the void and in my mind. We were now part of this black world of darkness and nothing. I have nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. His words stung, like a blade that was plunged into me when he reminded me of my failures.  "I didn't mean for any of this to happen.." I said defeated, feeling disgust over my own self pity. I didn't deserve it, not after what I had done. "It's my fault.. But at least I know they are out there, and you're in here, locked away.." "You think trapping me here makes up for everything you've done? You may have saved them from the final outcome, but you put them there in the beginning. You did this, all for your own selfish ambitions of becoming a hero, all for glory.." "That's not true!" My voice cracked, and I could feel the tears in my eyes. "I wanted to help, I wanted to be useful.. I... I.." "You wanted ponies to look at you like they looked at the elements of harmony. That sounds like you wanted glory to me. Face it, you're a greedy little imposter who was willing to let me out in exchange for powers. You're worse than nothing, and you deserve every century in this miserable place." I couldn't help it, I wanted to tell him he was wrong, to stand up to him, but I couldn't. I started to cry again, knowing he was right in everything he had said. I was nothing more than a worthless worm who wanted to become something I was not. I had endangered all of Equestria for my own personal gain and now I was paying for it. Every bit of pain that came with that was my fault as well. My family would not be distraught and sad if I had just stayed home. I wasn't even sure what anypony would tell them, would they just get a letter from the princess, or would somepony show up? What would they tell them? 'Hey your son almost doomed the kingdom, you must be great parents! But don't worry, he jumped through a portal while trapping an ancient evil within his own body to clean up his own mess. Kay thanks, bye!' I could only hope my family would not be blamed for my idiotic choices. Best thing they could do was to disown me, make sure the whole kingdom knew that I was no longer considered their son. I was just a failure, a greedy, stupid, undeserving failure.  The voices of my heroes haunted me, their faces when they found out I was responsible was burned into my mind. I closed my eyes tighter, as if doing so would make me stop seeing them "How could you do this!? Do you realize what you have done?!" "I'm sorry.." "Ya lied to us! We trusted you!" "I'm sorry.." "I thought you were our friend...." "I'm sorry.." "Why..? I don't understand.. I thought you were a good pony.." "I'm sorry.." "Don't talk to me! Don't even dare look at me you foolish pony!" "I'm sorry.." "You! You have been nothing but trouble! You're just out for yourself! You're not our friend! You're never going to be a hero! You are just as bad as every villain we have ever faced! You are the villain!!" "I'M SORRY!!!" > Blame > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- It was over.. The battle was finally over.. The ruins of the old castle almost ripped apart, leaving the roof open and the walls crumpled, letting in the rain. There was silence, only the rain and the distant thunder broke that silence. The rain, and the sobs.. The whole thing had just taken a few minutes, they were beaten, laying on the stone floor waiting to be banished into the void by that monster. Then he came, Pax. He who had unleashed this beast for his own gain, however noble they might have been, he who had lied to them, betrayed them, he came to save them. None of them had the strength to stop or save him, he was not strong enough to even be a match for this creature. He knew that, because he didn't even attempt to fight it. He rammed into the creature, using the deal they had made to seal him away within his own body. It was not a permanent solution, he would be forever affected, slowly dying off as the creature would take over his body. He knew that too.. They had all stared at him in disbelief, watching him as he started to explain how he wanted to be like them. How he wanted to save Equestria, be a hero ponies could look up to, just, like, them. His steps had been full of determination as he walked towards the portal and it was then they all realized what he was going to do. They had called to him, yelling at him to stop and not to do anything foolish. His steps never slowed or hesitated. Only when he was right at the border of it did he stop and looked back at them. His eyes were full of tears, but he had a gentle and warm smile on his face as he told them how sorry he was. Then with a simple step back he fell into the void, closing the portal and sealing himself away. None of them could do anything, they could only stare at the spot where he had stood and apologized to them. Tears running down their cheeks, but Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were the only ones crying out loud.  Twilight forced herself up, her legs shaking beneath her. Her body felt like it was weighed a ton, like every step required an insane amount of willpower. With each of those steps it was like she could hear Pax, like an echo from a not so distant past. She was reminded of hid eyes, those eyes that looked upon her and her friends with such awe and respect. Step. "It's so nice to meet you! I'm Pax!" Step. "I mean, you guys are heroes right? So that's what I wanna be, a hero." Step. "A hero never backs down! Never surrender! When down, they always stand back up." Step. "You guys, you make me want to be better.. I can't give up on my dreams, because you guys wouldn't." Step. "Please! Let me help fix this! I didn't know, I swear, I just wanted to help!" Finally she could take no more, Twilight collapsed, looking right at the spot where Pax had been standing. A burn mark in the floor, the only  trace left of Pax and the portal. He had saved them, saved Equestria, he had made his dream come true, but paid the ultimate price for it. Twilight felt guilt rushing through her, while Pax had done something foolish, his intentions were good, but horribly misguided. He looked up to her, to her friends, and the look on his face when they yelled at him, it was full of pain and regret. Despite him causing all of this, were she and her friends completely guilt free? Had they not encouraged him when he approached them? Yes they had, but they had not only encouraged him, they had given him the tools for it. Rainbow showed him how to become faster, Applejack how to become stronger. Fluttershy had shown him how to read animals, Rarity had made him an adventure outfit. Twilight had even gone so far as to let him read all sorts of topics in her library, showing him about dark magic, ancient traps and so on. Pinkie had even made him a hero themed party before he left. Pax was to blame, but they had given him the push that sent him on that path. They shared responsibility, and for Twilight, she felt like she had failed Pax the most. She should have seen what he truly needed, she should have figured out something, or not letting him study such books in her library!  It wasn't fair, Pax had paid such a high price for his mistake, and yet they were out here, free. She could still see his smile when he told her he had found what he was looking for, he was so proud, so happy and excited to show what he could do and get a chance to be like them. It was a warm, caring, and kind smile. Pax wasn't a villain, and instead of pushing him away she should have let him help them, maybe then things could be different, maybe he would still be with them. Tears ran down her cheeks, and Twilight finally allowed herself to cry. "I'm so sorry, Pax..." > The Void > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- How much time had passed? It was impossible to tell when there was nothing around you. I didn't sit on anything, there was nothing physical beneath me, it was like I was just floating in the air, weightless and with no direction. I didn't feel hunger, but I could at least sleep. I knew that because I had actually managed to cry myself to sleep, just like a real hero.. Now I was just floating around, looking at the great nothing, trying to reflect over my choices. I had no more tears to give, though I still felt great sadness, I was simply dried up, tired and exhausted. I tried to think about what Twilight would have done if she was in my position. Probably something smarter than what I did, but, maybe it was time to think outside the box. "Uhm, you're still there..?" "I don't really have a choice, do I? And before you try out this plan of yours I can tell you it won't work." "How do you know what I wanted to try?" "Idiot, I'm trapped inside you, I can pretty much tell what you're thinking." "Oh, yeah.." It seemed trying to befriend the creature was out of the question. Then again, my heart was not in it. I didn't want to be friends with him, but who else was I going to talk to? There was nothing here other than us, were we just going to spent it in silence? With nothing else to do, I started to walk, though with nothing under me it was hard to tell if I was actually moving. "What are you doing?" "Trying to explore this place, see if there is something here." "There isn't. That's why it's a void, there's nothing but emptiness." "Well at least it's something to do! I don't want to just float around doing nothing." "Your determination is foolish, and it was exactly what landed you into trouble the first time." "True... But this time there is nopony around to get hurt, even if I screwed up again." "Well I'm here!" "Yeah, but we're not friends. Consider this your punishment!" "Errrggghhhhh!!!" As much as I hated to admit it, it felt nice talking to someone, even if it was an argument. This creature had almost killed my friends, killed me, and overtaken the kingdom. But he was my only companion in this place and it kept me from going insane. I kept walking, never knowing if I was actually moving or not. I had no idea where I was going, if there was really any point to it. But like Applejack told me, 'Just one hoof at a time.' "You make me sick.." "What now?" "Friendship is magic Pax, one hoof at a time, friendship friendship. Bhah, I could throw up. The magic of friendship didn't really work out for you, did it Pax?" "Why don't you just shut up? Of course the magic of friendship didn't help me, I have no friends and I betrayed those I had!" "Pffft, right. You're actually so pathetic even the magic of friendship couldn't even help you. Congratulations." I didn't reply, I was already feeling bad, not sure this guy could make it worse or not, but I wasn't really in the mood to find out. Before I could think about replying or not doing so, I suddenly saw a strange white mist, or fog.  "Hm, well this is interesting.." "What is it?" Before I got an answer the mist seemed to move, not randomly but like if it was alive. It started to take shape, moving and stretching until finally it had a shape of a pony. But not just one, several, and all of them looked like- "Well well well, looks like the elements of harmony is here." "B-but how?" They weren't really there, the shape of them were unmistakable, but the fine features were lacking. They had no real expression, and they were not really physical, they were like mist creatures, ghost-like. "Your subconscious must have created them." "Your fault.." The mist creature looking like Rainbow said. "W-what?" "Oh-o." "Your fault.." Fluttershy joined in, and soon enough they all moved in, repeating the same phrase over and over again. "Your fault.." "Your fault.." "Your fault.." "Your fault.." They kept repeating this, over and over again. Their voices sounded dead and lifeless, like if I was being hunted by their restless spirits. I had no more tears to give, no more pleads, what would it help? I decided to run, but just as I tried to do so I felt something around my hooves. I looked down, and to my horror I found the mist had wrapped itself around my hooves, forming chains like if I was a prisoner.   "Wha?! What is going on!!"  I screamed, trying to move and get away while the mist creatures seemed to grow more aggravated by my attempts. "This is really interesting." "What do you mean!?" "It seems your subconscious has created this little scene, maybe born of your emotional state and your guilt. Doesn't look fun at all." The bastard actually sounded amused! "But how can this be?! There is nothing here!" "We're here, idiot. All of this came from you. You are doing this. I would help you, but I'm afraid since I'm not in the driver's seat I'm powerless to stop this." The mist chains moved around me like snakes, restraining me. The other ends of the chains moved to the elements of harmony, connecting themselves to them, as if they were the ones chaining me. I was scared, I wanted to fight, but what was the use? I had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide, and this was probably what I could expect if I was still in Equestria, so why fight whatever fate awaited me.. "I'm sorry.."  The six figures didn't reply, they just looked at me with those dead and expressionless eyes. They turned, and then started to drag me along. I had no idea where to, but I was scared. > Hope > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Twilight?" A voice called to her, bringing Twilight out of her slumber. "Mmm?" "Twilight!" Her eyes opened, finding her friends all looking worried at her. When they saw her open her eyes they all looked relieved. Then Applejack frowned at Rainbow, scolding her for yelling at Twilight. It gave Twilight time to look around the room as she sat up. They were in a hospital room, their bodies patched up and bandaged.  She looked out the window, the rain had stopped and the sun was going down. "How long was I out..?" Twilight finally managed to ask, her voice dry. "You passed out at the castle, you've been unconscious for 26 hours.." Fluttershy replied. "You worried us.." "How did we get here?" "The princess arrived shortly after you collapsed," Rarity joined in. "She rushed us to the hospital while the royal guard and her sister examined the  ruins. I should warn you darling, she is quite upset by this whole affair.." Twilight could understand that. Everything about this was something that should, and could have been avoided. She looked at her friends, seeing them all hurt, but at least she did cheer her up a bit. "Does she know?" She didn't need to clarify, they all knew what she meant. "We had to tell her Twi," answered Applejack. "We told her everything, including how Pax.. How he.." She trailed off, looking away as if the talking about it and looking at her friends brought her pain. "How he saved us.." They all went silent, despite it having been several hours and their cries had stopped, the pain had never faded. They all felt guilty. While Pax was at fault, they could have handled it better. Pinkie Pie hadn't even spoken a word, she out of all of them looked the most depressed. Her mane was no longer puffy, her eyes no longer sparkled with joy. She was just a shell of her former self. Rainbow was the one to break the silence. "So, what do we do now?"  No one answered, because no one knew what to do. Twilight searched her mind, trying to come up with a solution, but everything still hurt, and she had no idea where to begin. She didn't even know how to get into that dimension in the first place. "I don't know," she finally admitted. "I really don't know.." "But we will try and save him, right?"  This time it was Pinkie who spoke, she looked pleadingly at Twilight, as if begging for her to reassure her. Twilight looked back at her friend, not sure what to answer, not sure what she could promise. "Pinkie, I.." "No!" Pinkie cut in. "Tell me we're going to try! Tell me we're not going to forget about him and just leave him to suffer in a dimension filled with darkness!" Tears started to move down her cheeks, her lips quivered and finally she let herself lay down and started to sob, moving the blanket over her to hide her tears from them. They all looked at her, but nopony did anything. Pinkie needed to be alone with her thoughts for a moment before they could try and comfort her. Nopony spoke again, only the soft sobs of Pinkie broke that silence. It was Fluttershy who ventured to her bed and laid next to her friend, putting her hooves around Pinkie, letting her cry into her chest as Pinkie embraced her in return. Rainbow looked away in shame. The things she said to Pax, they were horrible, cruel even. Did she mean them? No, after all, she had trained him to help him become a hero. Pax was strange, almost insanely optimistic as he kept practicing and training, even to the point where he would throw up in a bush.  A smile graced her lips, and soon enough she started to chuckle. They all looked at Rainbow with puzzled and slightly worried expressions. Rainbow waved them off with a hoof, still snickering. "Sorry, it's just.. I remember one time, I was trying to help Pax work on his reflexes while he was running. So while he ran I would fire lightning bolts close by, safely of course," she quickly assured them as Rainbow could see their worried expressions. "The stallion did pretty good, but he was so focused on dodging whatever I sent at him that he didn't see the fence coming up." She started to laugh. "He ran straight through it, rolled down the hill and landed in the river!" Rainbow laughed. "And when he came up again he asked if he had passed, the idiot was not even aware he had run through a fence!" They all started to chuckle as that sounded just like Pax. His optimism often kept him from realizing when he had crashed into something the first few seconds. Applejack narrowed her eyes at Rainbow. "Wait a minute, that was you guys!?"   Rarity giggled. "One time he came in and asked for that outfit I made for him. He was like a little colt wanting a toy. I told him I didn't have time because I had this large order I had to finish, and I had to get some gems. Of course the silly stallion offered to help me, I tried to tell him it would not be necessary, but as you all know he's quite stubborn. He ran of like he was a knight on a great quest." "Did you get the gems?" Applejack asked with a small smirk. Rarity nodded. "Oh yes, but he looked like he had been through quite an ordeal, but still he acquired them. I lend him my bath and he collapsed on my couch." Twilight smiled. "He was really helpful.. I would let him study in my library, but he always had time to help me or Spike with some of the tasks.. Spike really appreciated it." Applejack smiled proudly. "He was very helpful on the farm too. Never once did that stallion complain! Not once!"   "He was also very kind to the animals.." Fluttershy joined in. "Even when some of them scared him, he always listened to what I had to say and he trusted me.." Pinkie had come out of the covers, wiping her eyes. "He helped me bake.. A lot.. And he told me.." She trailed off. The others  looked intently at her, eagerly awaiting her to continue. "He told me he thought I was maybe the most important hero of all to him. He said no matter what, I would always smile and keep going.. That gave him the will to keep going too.." She had a hard time expressing it better, or making it as clear as the others did, but they understood, and it explained a lot. No matter how many times he failed, no matter how many times he would fall down or get hurt, Pax would always stand up, laugh it off and continue on. In that sense, it made perfect sense Pinkie was his hero. Twilight looked to her friend. "Pinkie, I promise I will do everything I can to bring him home.." Pinkie looked at her. "Pinkie promise?" Twilight nodded. "Cross My Heart, Hope to Fly, Stick a Cupcake in my Eye! "We promise to, don't we?" Fluttershy asked. "Yeah, of course we do!" Rainbow said. "Someone has to save that moron!" "And we owe him for saving our hides.." Applejack nodded. "I'm still disappointed in Pax, but he doesn't deserve to be trapped like this." Rarity declared.  All of them agreed to try and save Pax. None of them knew how yet, but they all knew they would try. None of them would want to leave their friend behind, none of them wanted this to be the end. Somehow, someday, they would get their friend back... To be continued....?