Chapter One: The Beginning Of It All
“Move that stack of books over there please Spike, there’s a good dragon. We don’t want to mislay any essential volumes before our big move to Canterlot Castle, do we?”
“You, Twi… not ‘we’. I’m quite happy leaving behind every one of these dusty old things, as long as I can take all my comics books with me. Are you sure you don’t want to leave at least some behind? There must be thousands of them here…”
“121019 to be exact, Spike! Pretty much everything ever published! How did I even find the space? Every book: a new world to explore, every chapter an adventure, every paragraph a pause to reflect what’ll happen next! It’s sad I’m nearly halfway through them all, but all good things must come to an end I guess. Not that I don’t love my job, but if I didn’t have so many Princessly duties to perform, I could be almost done reading them all by now…”
“W-Wait a second, Twilight. You mean to tell me… you’ve read near sixty-thousand books?! T-That’s incredible… and I suspect not very healthy… aargh!”
“Oh Spike, do watch where you’re treading! Didn’t you see the ‘Wet Floor’ sign at the entrance? It is my solemn duty to make the Castle Of Friendship is spick and span for it’s next occupant, remember? Now I’m going to have to pick all these up again.”
“Sorry, Twilight. But anyway… sixty-thousand books?! When did you find the time to read those? How are you even still alive?”
“It’s really not as impressive as it sounds, Spike. Many were foal books that I skimmed through during my many hours alone as a filly. A lot of them didn’t even have any words, just pictures! I’ve moved onto more complicated stuff as an adult, of course. Now hold out your claws again please, and I’ll levitate the books back to you.”
“When you said you were gonna pick them up, I assumed you were going to help me carry them, Twilight… sigh, never mind. At least with all this heavy lifting, nocreature can say I don’t work out enough. If Garble ever tries it on with me again…”
“Garble? I thought you said he was good now. That’s what you get, when you try reforming somecreature without my help(!)”
“Ha ha, very funny. I just meant, if he ever gets bored of being a beatnik and starts becoming a bully again, you better believe I’ll be ready for him with these muscles… hello? What’s this?”
As Twilight began encasing part of her precious collection in lavender light to deposit them safely back into the drake’s waiting arms, he happened to spot a dog-eared piece of parchment flitter down from inside one of the dropped books. Instinctively picking it up, he was immediately baffled by the strange writing.
“Um Twilight… what’s this? Some sort of weird bookmark?”
“Huh?” Caught between her twin duties of filing everything and putting them in alphabetical order (very important) Twilight glanced up at her bemused assistant and the aged manuscript he now held aloft. “Wait… no, it couldn’t be. It’s practically impossible: but, I better have a look anyway to be sure. May I?”
Unable to make head, tail or scale of the contents of the ancient script he’d found, Spike was more than happy to pass it onto a visibly excited Twilight… and after a few brief seconds of examination, that excitement quickly turned to all-out delirium.
“It is! I can’t believe it! I’m so happy… oh, I have to go and tell her right away!! This is a magical day in Equestrian history… to think it was hidden away in my library all this time, and I never even knew!”
“Wait. Can we just rewind the conversation back to, I dunno, what exactly ‘it’ is?” Spike was understandably confused, at both Twilight’s ecstatic reaction to a mouldy old piece of paper and her sudden urge to dance the cha-cha with him.
“Why, it’s the Marea Colta of course: the original document Celestia and Luna signed after defeating Discord to rule the world together. I’ve only ever seen images of what it might look like, but never the original itself! I must find something secure to store it in… mind if I borrow one of your plastic comic sleeves that you reserve for your rare first editions?”
“Fine, but you still haven’t explained to me what’s so special about this, uh… ‘thing’.” Spike scratched his head at the energetic enthusiasm emitting from the alicorn. “ I mean, I get that it’s valuable… but I don’t think you were even this happy when your brother got married!”
“If you remember correctly Spike, I was more relieved than anything else on account of everything that happened with Chrysalis… but that doesn’t matter! The Marea Colta is the most important charter ever written! It tells you the rights and responsibilities of all equine citizens: from pegasi, unicorn to earth ponies. Without it, we wouldn’t even know how to live! Uproar would sweep the land! Discord may as well not be turned to stone! Celestia and Luna were true visionaries, to compose such a comprehensive chronicle!”
“Easy, Twi. I’m very happy for you… but to be honest, you’re starting to scare me a little.” Spike backed away a couple of steps, fully expecting the ranting alicorn to foam at the mouth any second. “Try to relax a little, ‘kay? Now, who are you going to show that ‘Marea Colta’ to? And is the need so pressing, it means you have to leave this second just when we’re in the middle of packing?”
“Celestia, naturally! She’s the only one who can translate the Olde Pony language… besides Luna that is.” Twilight attempted to cool her jets for Spike’s sake, but she could do nothing about the ginormous grin that decorated her entire facial region. “Don’t worry. When we’re studying it together, I’ll give you full credit for the recovery and discovery. Well, must dash! Who knows what hitherto lost knowledge I’ll learn from the distant past: don’t worry, I promised to share everything with you later!”
“W-Wait just a second! What about…” Spike tried to interrupt the galloping alicorn as she departed, but it was already too late.
As soon as the door was slammed,every single book toppled down on the ground again, meaning that Spike would have to ignore his aching back to pick them all up.
“ ‘Credit for discovering it’? ‘Discovering the mysteries of history’? Pfffft! I’d trade it all in for a full day at the spa in an instant.” Spike moaned to himself, realising he was left holding down the fort alone once more.
If he wasn’t such a loyal and dutiful dragon, he’d have followed Twilight outside in a heartbeat to play hooky for the day while she was off gallivanting on yet another frivolous pursuit.
Oh, the curse of being so darn trustworthy!
………………………
“Princess Celestia!” Twilight Sparkle yelled as she barged without warning into the throne room at Canterlot Castle, beads of sweat dripping down her drenched forehead. “Sorry to burst in when you’re getting ready to leave, but I’m afraid this couldn’t wait a second longer!”
“Huh? Oh, Twilight! It’s you!” Celestia was languishing on her chair, hastily brushing carrot cake crumbs off her face before her future successor’s unexpected arrival. “It’s okay, I’ve already finished putting together my luggage for Silver Shoals. Can’t say the same for my slow sister, but seeing as she’s usually on the ‘night shift’ I suppose it’s understandable. What brings you here today? If you’d arrived by train, you’d think I’d be notified in advance.”
“I flew straight down, of course! Why do you think I feel like I’m about to collapse from exhaustion?” Twilight staggered inside, literally flopping herself on the floor a few feet away from her fellow alicorn. “I couldn’t hang on for the train. This is a matter of the utmost urgency! For I have found…”
“Wait. If it’s that much of an emergency, maybe we should be alone. Guards…” Thinking perhaps a national crisis was on the cards before a big occasion (again), Celestia put on her most commanding voice. “Please leave us alone for just a few minutes. Also, one of you: take this dish back to the kitchen and make sure it’s washed up, if it’s not too much trouble?”
“Th-That’s really not necessary. I’m not here to report a threat! I…” Twilight attempted in vain to protest, but it was already too late. The soldiers were trained to obey without question, so it was mere seconds before the pair of alicorns were left by themselves, without a military pony in sight…
Or any cake plates, for that matter.
“Now then. You have my undivided attention. Hopefully we can get this unfortunate situation cleared up soon enough, and then I can go back to planning how to spend my retirement. Start a nice garden maybe, write my autobiography... or learn that new sport everypony is talking about. What’s it called: ‘spelunking’, or something?” Luna pondered her future goals, whilst Twilight grew more and more impatient.
“No, no, no! It’s not any kind of problem, it’s actually something really rather wonderful! A historical find for the ages. Spike discovered it, but I understood the significance of it right away! You see, we were just rummaging around some old books, when…”
“I don’t believe it! Is that the Marea Colta you’re holding aloft?! I thought it to be gone forever!” Celestia unintentionally stole Twilight’s thunder, and used her magic to snatch it away from her former student’s outstretched hoof. “It is! How the hay did it end up amongst your… you know what, it doesn’t matter! What a fantastic present that you found this relic, on the eve of my departure as co-ruler! Future generations can now view it as part of my and Luna’s legacy, and we have you to thank for it, Twilight Sparkle! However can I repay you for locating this priceless treasure?”
“Don’t forget it was Spike who spotted it first, but your gratitude humbles me as always Celestia.” Ever one to give credit where it was due, a blushing Twilight then told her mentor what she’d request in return. “You know, I would love to know exactly what it says on there, but sadly the language is so old it’s beyond my meagre skills to translate it. Could you… would you… do me the honour?”
“Say no more, Twilight. Soon all ponies shall discover for themselves the words we should all live by at the National Museum where this will be proudly displayed, but allow me to let you be the first one to hear them for more than a thousand years.” Celestia accepted her fellow alicorn’s petition without hesitation, before delving into the unfamiliar text on the paper. “It’s been so long I can barely remember what we wrote down ourselves! Now, let’s see…”
EVERYPONY IS EQUAL IN THEIR OWN SPECIAL WAY
FRIENDSHIP IS MORE POWERFUL THAN ANY MAGIC
NOPONY SHOULD GO WITHOUT ADEQUATE FOOD AND WATER
WAR IS GOOD FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
THOU SHALT NOT SELFISHLY REQUEST GOOD DREAMS EVERY SINGLE NIGHT
(“Luna made me put that one in.” Celestia informed a sniggering Twilight.)
CALLING CELESTIA ‘CELLY’ OR ‘TIA’ IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN
(“What? It was totally getting out of hoof at the time.” A shrugging Celestia told Twilight.)
And so it went on, until nearly all one-hundred rules had been reeled off to a rapt solo audience. “Wow, it’s so right what you wrote about ‘never radically abusing your power’, and how we should always ‘treat other non-aggressive species with dignity and respect’!” Twilight remarked with awe. “It's like you looked into the future, and saw how we now live in harmony with the entire world… even the Changelings!”
“I’m glad you approve, Twilight. Me and my sister did our best to produce a fair system of governance that everypony could live by and aspire to, even after we’d gone! Needless to say, we hope our ideals persevere long into the future whatever happens next.” Celestia smiled gratefully at her gushing former student, and returned to perusing the document. “Ah, look. There’s just a single rule to go until the end. It must be quite an important one, for us to save it until last. Now, let’s see… oh, no. This is terrible! Awful! Unspeakable! How could I have been so stupid?!”
“Huh?” Twilight wondered what the fuss could be all of a sudden. “Surely it can’t be that bad.”
“It’s even worse than that! It’s wrecked everything! Now I’ll have to call off the coronation ceremony, cancel my retirement, put all my possessions back where they were… and what will Luna say? She was so looking forward to having some time off… I just hope she’s got all traces of Nightmare Moon out of her when she hears the dreadful news.”
“W-Wait just a second. D-Don’t you think you’re being a tad… dramatic?” Twilight had no idea what was happening, only that Celestia was spontaneously freaking out and the room was beginning to spin for some reason.
“ I-I obviously didn’t think this rule through at all when I wrote it down. I just added it for stability, to put a check on any potential monarch who might abuse their position if left alone without a guiding hoof…” Celestia continued to whittle on, quite unaware of Twilight’s growing exasperation.
“Celestia!!” This was probably the first time Twilight had dared raise her voice to her former mentor, but under the tense circumstances she thought there was little option. “Could you just… calm down a little, and tell me exactly what has gone so terribly wrong that you’re not going to abdicate any more, after so much preparation to the contrary? Isn’t it anything we could, I don’t know, talk about to resolve?”
“If only it were that easy, Twilight.” Celestia finally returned to her senses a bit, but she still refused to look her former student in the eye. “Way back then, we added a provision so that nopony could rule by themselves: that there would always be always be another presence to make sure that absolute power didn’t corrupt either ruler without the other able to put a quick stop to it. That failsafe was to be somepony trusted and known intimately to the other individual, either a close family member or…”
“A... what?” Twilight gulped, feeling she might know the answer already.
“A husband, or wife. And not just any pony. They have to be of royal blood, so they know the ins and outs of governing without the need for previous training. They have to step into the role immediately, and engage with all kinds of protocol that would stupify your average pony on the street. Plus there’s that whole ‘must come from a good stock’ thing the nobles love…”
“B-But surely that parchment is from a completely different era! Can’t we just ignore it, and continue on as things are?” Twilight pleaded with Celestia, desperate for a way out which would make both of them happy. Somehow, the Marea Colta didn’t seem so special anymore. “You said it yourself… you and Luna didn’t know what would happen in the future when it was written. You know I can do a good job reigning on my own: going power mad and betraying my role would be the last thing I was capable of.”
“Be that as it may, me and my sister undertook a solemn vow when this document was forged that each one of its rules would be followed to the letter by us and future leaders. Forever.” Celestia finally stared down at Twilight for the first time since discovering the horrible truth, and her gaze was an unyielding one. “It was a deal sealed with our most powerful magic too, so who knows what would’ve happened to us and the world if we’d left Canterlot for good without remembering its existence? Thank the stars you found it when you did, Twilight. But also… my most heartfelt apologies for the awkward position my disorganisation and forgetfulness has put you in.”
“W-What am I supposed to do then? I can’t ask Shining Armour for help, he already rules the Crystal Empire with Cadence! My parents are out of the question, of course… and I have no other family. As for marrying somepony, I’ve never even been romantically involved with anycreature, let alone dwell on that stage of my life. I-I guess, all things considered, I’ll have to give up on ruling Equestria for now, and return to Ponyville…”
“There is another solution, but I hesitate to even mention it. It’s certainly not something I’d recommend, and doubtful you’d hate the idea as well.” Celestia commented cryptically, staring down at the ground like she felt guilty just bringing it up.
“R-Really? What is it, then?” Twilight was all ears, even though Celestia’s tone suggested it was a proposal she wasn’t going to like.
“Well, there’s this nephew of mine… a real clod. I believe he had a run-in with your friend Rarity at the first Galloping Gala you attended, and regretfully he hasn’t improved much since. Who knows: maybe if you got to know him properly with all the redemptive powers you possess, you might just be able to do something which has eluded the rest of us for years: make him bearable. His name is…”