Self-Indulgence
Twilight cursed her apparent inability to correctly remember her mailing address, especially on such an important order. Rather than having the discreet but large box delivered to her doorstep, it instead ended up stuck in the Ponyville Post Office - and while Ditzy Doo was a very lovely pony, her customer service needed as much work as Twilight’s own ability to label, apparently. Were it anything else - a new book, magical relic, a poster for the Stable Girl’s newest album - she would have happily taken the opportunity to trot into town. Today, however, it felt like she was carrying a bomb, and her deepest secrets only needed the slightest bump to explode out of the plain cardboard package tucked under her wing. She kept her head down and her hooves hurried. One could never know what antics would erupt in Ponyville, and the last thing she needed right now was antics.
When she saw the Cutie Mark Crusaders barreling down the street with Big Mac chasing after, she took a turn down an alley. When she saw Rarity dragging a flailing AJ into the Ponyville Spa with a dastardly grin, she made sure not to interfere. When she saw Pinkie Pie proudly pronouncing Pie Parties, with a demonstration cart of baked treats so cartoonishly large it would make a clown swoon, she did a full 180 and took a different route home - the reconstructed Tree Library. After living in a palace, she got homesick for the quaint wood walls and had it remade. Home, within sight! She picked up her pace, her nervousness drifting into antsy excitement, one wing squeezing the thick package carefully tucked under. Not long now before she could take it in, lock the doors, and tear off the packaging like a hungry wildabea---
“O-Oh, Hi, Twilight! Got some mail?”
“Eeeek!” Twilight jumped out of her daydream and nearly out of her fur, which in turn made the soft butter-colored mare squeak in return.
“O-Oh, gosh, I didn’t mean to scare you!” Fluttershy sputtered, ears splayed flat against her head apologetically. “W-was I too loud?”
“No, you just, caught me off guard, is all,” Twilight mumbled. “It’s my fault, I was kinda daydreaming.”
“About what?”
Twilight felt a rush of pink to her cheek, and she let out a short laugh. “A-about what? Well, uh… books. You know. And… magic. Magic books. Eh heh. You know me! Bookmare!”
Fluttershy tilted her head. “Twilight, do you have a fever? You seem a bit pink.”
“Pffffttt, what, meeee?” Twilight let out another short laugh that sorta sounded like a cough. “Nope, I’ve just been out in the sun! You know. Doing… sports.”
“Oh! Is Dash helping you get out more? I always thought she’d be good at getting you outside more, now that you’re together.” Fluttershy smiled - though it faltered when Twilight’s wings ruffled and fluffed out.
“S-She’s not my marefriend! I mean, we just went out--”
“--- I never said she was ---”
“--- a few times! Just, casual, friends, hanging out, and going to dinner, alone, and snuggling, and --”
The rambling dork felt a firm soft hoof press against her muzzle. Fluttershy spoke firmly. “Twilight, take a deep breath.”
…
Huuuuuff, hoooo.
“Good,” Fluttershy cooed, “sorry for making you panic, and sorry for assuming anything.” She gave her friend a supportive nuzzle. “It’s okay for friends to hang out alone together - … b-but, you know, you two are cute together, and if you wanted to date, we would all support you, okay?”
Twilight, flustered, and wiggling in place, just gave a short curt nod. “Y-Yeah! But, uh, really, I should get back to the library - I left the… science… on…” She pushed past Fluttershy. “It was nice bumping into you though!” She called after herself, in a perhaps shallow attempt to make her abrupt departure less rude.
“Uh, Twilight?”
“Reallythere’snotime to talk!” She scurried to her door.
“Twilight.”
“Igottaagoo---”
“Twilight.” The firm tone rooted her in place. Those assertiveness lessons had really been paying off for Fluttershy.
“Yes?”
“You dropped your package.”
Twilight spun on a diamond with a squeaky panicked gasp. Oh sweet Celestia she did! What if someone had picked it up, and looked inside, and saw her name on the label and --- she scrambled to scoop it back and dove into Treehouse before Fluttershy even had the chance to squeak out a “bye?”.
Twilight slammed the door, yanked the deadbolt, twisted the lock, armed the enchanted barrier, and put up a chair against the door. Safe. Home base. She cradled the big cardboard box in her wings like she was some divine stain-glass portrait of Celestia holding the sun. She had been waiting on this day for years. Two years ago, Pinkie Pie shared with her a prank-focused magazine, when she was having trouble deciding what to counter-prank Dash with. Dash had Pinkie-Pie’d her right in the face with a triple-whipped coconut cream pie. Pinkie had eaten it off her face, but still, payback was needed, surely! She had wanted a second opinion - and gave Twilight the magazine to look through for ideas. That’s when she had seen the two-page article on FluffyFoal™’s new line called Prank Playtime - and stretched out across the two pages was a hot-red blushing mare, in big silly paw-shaped mittens helplessly batting at an immense white cloud spreading her legs, a cartoonish lock symbol painted right on the crotch. FluffyFoals Deluxe Prankster Poofs for Playful Ponies.
The image of that blushing mare, helplessly stuck in diapers despite being clearly an adult, flustered, embarrassed, hot in the cheeks, stuck in Twilight’s head the whole day after. And the day after. It’s why she ripped those pages out of the magazine, and stuck them deep in her nightstand, long before she understood the feelings and tingles that rocked her every time she took an indulgent guilty peek at the article. It’s why, after seven months of secret, night time obsessing over it, she did what any librarian would - research. That’s how she learned of FluffyFoals Inc., the largest supplier of Adult Foal gear in Equestria, and what an Adult Foal was, and plenty of extra reading-material to add to her stash, and how it was a fetish, and then she found a fanfiction forum, all about padded ponies, and --- well, it snowballed.
All of that, plus another four months to build up her courage to actually order it, all culminated with the plain packaged brown box that she currently hugged to her chest. She felt like Pandora. Her precious box, hers - and that opening it might unleash a great evil upon Equestria - okay, maybe she was being a bit melodramatic, but, gosh this was wrong and diapers were weird and she was weird for liking them and and she was a dorky loser and why did she think diapers were hot and aaaaaa---....
She took a deep breath. No. It was okay. It was just some diapers. Plenty of ponies wore them for medical reasons. There was nothing wrong about… experimenting. Surely. Eheh. But if she was going to do this, she would need to get in the mindset - if she was going to work up the courage to actually open the box, and follow-through. Twilight tucked the light bulky package under her wing with newfound resolve and marched up the stairs to her bedroom like a guard-pony on patrol.
She placed the box at the edge of her bed and turned to her closet - though she kept stealing glances back at the package like it might disappear if she looked away too long. Hidden deep in the back-right crevice was a plain grey plastic container with a few books on top of it - thick technical science jargon - to really make sure that nobody, not even Spike during his visits, would somehow get curious enough to look inside. Removing it from the closet, unstacking the books, carefully undoing the subtle magic seal - it was a ritual she had done hundreds of times. It added to the excitement through anticipation, in a weird way. She cracked open the lid, and her wings fluttered and shifted.
Her hooves pulled out the first two items. A thick, adult-sized pacifier with a baby blue guard, and a plastic baby bottle, courtesy of unused supplies from the Cake Twins and an enlargement spell. They were the first things to end up in her collection. With a bit of a shudder, she slipped the pacifier into her maw, excitement followed by a calming relaxation with each gentle suckle.
Next, was a bottle of baby powder. As her fantasies grew, the heavy scent of talc, foalish and unmistakable, ended up a weird cornerstone to them. Twi had rubbed it into her fur on her on occasion, just to fantasize about the scent clinging to her, and the increasingly real fantasy of eventually being able to use it. Next out came a few foal books, both genuine and from FluffyFoals™ , that had “gotten lost” in the interlibrary loan process. She felt a bit guilty for spirting them away, but… she had read them enough times to figure the books wouldn’t mind.
Finally, her piece-de-la-resistance; up until tonight, anyway. Nightmare Night, a year ago - asking Rarity for something similar to Fluttershy’s bunny costume, from the year before, but with the addition of it being a cold year, maybe a bit thicker fabric, and not scary so she could give candy to trick or treaters, and --- well, basically, she got the pajamas of her dreams, a thick, fluffy kitten-onesie complete with big boofy paws, a fake tail cover, incredibly soft fleece fabric, and the workmanship of Rarity. Well, mostly - Twilight’s clumsy signature was obvious in her one modification, adding a butt-flap to it. It was silly, adorable, snuggly, and was foalish enough to satisfy her for months… until now, anyway. With her things assembled, and her pacifier bobbing in her maw, she turned back to the plain cardboard box.
Magic carefully sliced open the tape and cut through the shipping label. Twilight wiggled with anticipation. The box was bigger than she imagined. She flipped the cardboard flaps open - and an indulgent, giddy smile washed over her muzzle, as a bright cartoon skunk with a cartoonishly large diaper smiled back at her, next to the foalish bright bubble print proudly proclaiming: FluffyFoal’s Deluxe Pillowy Poofers for Silly Fillies. It had taken ages for Twilight to choose the diaper she wanted - something colorful? Enchanted? Themed? Cursed, even? - but had eventually decided on these. Their prints were pretty plain - just various girly designs on the tapes, otherwise pure white poof - but their immense size and noisy crinkling set them apart from any medical diaper. She carefully flipped the box upside down to let the package slide out with a satisfying fwump onto her bedsheets. She flung the box aside. Her tail was wagging. She had gone from feeling like Pandora to a filly opening presents on Hearth’s Warming!
The same magic blade from before carefully sliced the noisy plastic packaging, ever-so-careful not to harm the goods inside. Another shiver went down her spine. The anticipation was killing her in the best possible way; the temptation to tear the diaper out like a wild animal was certainly there, but taking it slow and steady was pushing dozens of buttons. Finally, she carefully slid her first from the package, fluffy white padding practically shining in the sunlight from her skylight. Her magic trembled, and unable to help herself, she promptly buried her nose deep into the fluffy white cloud. It was so much softer than she expected - FluffyFoals used real clouds in their production, apparently, and it showed. But it also crinkled on impact, a soft personal orchestra just for Twilight. It smelled not like baby powder, but sorta like the smell of fresh laundry - clean, soft, cozy. All hers. Her first diaper since she was a foal!
Twilight felt a pang of momentary regret for not ordering a changing mat (or, oh gosh, a changing table) to go with it, but that could come with time. For now, nothing stood between her and her diaper! A shiver went down her spine. Her diaper! The mere thought made her giggle giddily to herself. This was so silly, so indulgent, and she loved every second, and she hadn’t even put it on, yet! Determined to change that, Twilight unfolded the diaper on her bed, and gently wiggled up onto it. A dozen or so childcare books had prepared her for this moment, though she hadn’t anticipated her magical focus to be quivering as much as it was. Twilight began with a thick, blizzard-like puff of powder to her crotch, and her rump, and a few extra shakes for good measure, to really make her reek of the stuff. Then, finally, she pulled up the pillowy diaper between her legs. She gasped. It spread her legs with the sheer bulk - she couldn’t touch her back hooves together, it was so thick! No doubt it would cause a waddle… she would be forced to waddle like a naughty little filly! The tapes are the trickiest thing for a newcomer like her to figure out, but with a smidge of fiddling, the diaper is finally fully secure. She sits up, and can’t help another giddy giggle, feeling the sheer pillowy poof raising her from the surface of the bed, another round of crinkles tickling her ears, so soft, so cozy, eee~!
Her wings flapped excitedly, nearly enough to lift her right off the bed. It fit perfectly! Snug and cozy and warm and soft, pillowy and puffy and poofy and perfect! She jumped to her hooves and wiggled her tushie indulgently - watching in the mirror at her fluffy rump. It looked so silly, foalish, and adorable! She caught her reflection’s gaze in the mirror, blushing hot pink but giddy and grinning. Why in the world had she waited this long?
She was so entranced by her wiggling rump and the crinkling cuteness that she nearly forgot the rest of her outfit, reminded only when she nearly slipped on during her diaper dance. “Oh, duh, right! Kitten time!” She chirps, magic scooping up the silly sleeper and taking its paws, doing the waltz with it around her bedroom. Silly? Yes, well, that was kinda the point! The last thing she wanted to listen to at the moment was the voice in the back of her head telling her to “act adult”, so she locked up that voice as deep as she could. “I can’t wait to be the cutest kitten there is!” she giggled, swishing her tail. Unzipping the fleece pajamas and wiggling inside only took a few moments, but it felt more amazing than it ever had. It was just slightly tight around her rump, hugging her puffy white diaper - the bulk was so thick it caused the butt-flap snaps to pop open, exposing her puffy padded posterior. Not that she minded, of course... now she could see her adorable outfit and her diaper at the same time! When she wiggled her rear, the open flap waved like a flag, flaunting her rear.
She nursed her pacifier and summoned the final cherry on top with a flash from her horn; Smarty Pants! She snuggled the childhood plush to her chest. The last piece of the snuggly puzzle. Fully foaled up - or, was she? She could do her hair into pigtails… though that might not work with the kitty-hood of her pajamas, so maybe --- she mentally chided herself. No, Twilight. Don’t overthink this! Don’t think, just enjoy~! She let out a giddy laugh, as she let her focus wander and drift. She wiggled up onto bed, grinning and nursing her pacifier and snuggling her plushie and wiggling in her ever so soft fleece sleeper; a silly kitty padded pony filly foal. She drifted one of the foalish Learn-To-Read books onto her bed, and buried her muzzle in it, reading along with the adventures of Miss Hopps the Frog and her journey to Cuddle Mountain.
At the end of the third book was when she felt the slight twinge on her bladder. For a second, her eyes drifted to her bathroom; even though she was wearing a diaper, surely she drew the line at wetting them? Surely.
She bit her bottom lip but didn’t move an inch to the bathroom. She wiggled her hips, sensing the fullness of her bladder and the increasing urge to find the potty. She had read that some ponies had trouble going in their diapers, for the first time - that potty training was pretty engrained to the point it was hard to let go, even consciously, in anything but the potty.
A tiny grin tickled her muzzle. “W-well, I should really conduct an experiment to see for myself,” she muttered under her breath. “Research Question: is it hard to give up your potty training, and puddle your diapers?” Her cheeks tinted pink, and she wiggled onto all fours on her bed, Smarty-Pants propped up on her pillow and softly smiling back. “Current Data: an increasing urge to let go of my bladder, a soft diaper swaddling my hips, and a fully-trained mare.” She swishes her hips softly side to side. “Hypothesis: Of course it will be easy! I just relax.”
Her wings fluff and ruffle. Was she really about to do this?
“Initiating experiment…” She whispered, under her breath, and relaxed.
….
Not a drop came out. She pouted a little and shifted her hips. While the rest of her body relaxed, she still felt tense around her hips. “Hrrmmff. Hypothesis disproved… it seems the subconscious potty training is more apparent than I thought.” She taps her chin. “But if it’s the subconscious, then visualization is likely the solution.” She bit her lip. This was silly. Experimenting with her potty training? It was absurd. Maybe that’s why it felt so fun, so indulgent! “Proceeding to visualize myself as a silly, naughty foal, who can’t help but go into their pampers.”
She closes her eyes. Creativity wasn’t exactly her strong suit, but this wasn’t far from the times Fluttershy invited them to learn meditation, was it? First, clear the mind, of all worries, and thoughts. A blank slate. Calm, gentle, relaxed, no worries, no problems, no responsibility. Then...visualize.
Magic Kindergarten. Perhaps it was no surprise her mind drifted back to then… a silly, dorky filly, sitting in the front of the class, shy, shrinking in her seat. She knew the answer but was too shy to raise her hoof when the teacher asked the class. But the teacher’s eyes saw her hesitation and called her up to the board. Twilight nervously wiggled out of her seat and shuffled up to the blackboard. It was an easy question, one she knew like the back of her hoof - she couldn’t remember exactly what it was, only that she knew the answer. She took the chalk, and stretched up to write the answer… and froze in place.
“Miss! Misss! Twilight’s going potty!”
Twilight gasped and bit her lip. A hot warmth blossomed from between her legs and trickled down her thighs. Her cheeks ignited red, as the class erupted into laughter behind her - her answer devolving into a chalky scribble as she lost her magic focus and flooded her pants.
“I...I-I’mm a naughty filly!” She stammered out, wiggling in place. “I’m a naughty filly who can’t make it to the potty, and needs her - di...di...diapers!” She gasped and opened her eyes. She could feel the hot wet swelling in her diaper - making the puffy cloud a soggy raincloud as she absolutely flooded it. She shifted her hips back and forth, side to side, feeling the greedy padding absorbing every last drop of her embarrassing ‘accident’. The heat of her cheeks matched the damp warmth of her soggy padding. She bit at her pillow a bit, wings puffed and fluffing and flapping - this was so, so humiliating, and, and sweet Celestia, it was everything she ever fantasized about! “I’m goiiiingg pooootty!” She whinnied in delight, wings shuddering.
Her accident slowly trickled down, soggy wet padding drooping through the open flap of her pajamas. She huffed softly. Twilight was in bliss, the urgency of her bladder replaced with blissful glee and relaxation. She giggled softly to herself and nuzzled gently against her plushie.
It was everything she ever dreamed. Soft, fluffy, soggy, warmth swaddling her hips, marking her as not a brilliant prodigy princess but a daycare dropout, a cute, helpless little foal unable to do the most basic task: making it to the bathroom in time. She shifted her hips, gasping softly as the wet padding shifted around her. A hoof gently reached back to indulgently rub at the back of her diaper, the mostly dry seat, above the soaked crotch. Perhaps the next experiment would be seeing how much she could wet it before it leaked? Or… perhaps, she should -- no, that felt a little extreme for her first time… for now, she was happy to just rock her hips, wiggle in her diapers, and cuddle her plushies. She rubbed her rump gently, and let out a happy, giddy whinny. Bliss. Her fantasy, fulfilled!
“...Twilight?” A hesitant voice croaked.
All the color drained from Twilight’s face at once. She whirled in place - and froze in abject horror. Rainbow Dash stood in the door to her bedroom balcony, a board game tucked under her wing, and an unreadable expression plastered on her face. The boardgame slowly slipped from her wing and clattered to the floor, as Dash stood and gawked.
“...I c-can explain?” Twilight whimpered, snug in her soaked diaper and silly kitty pajamas.
Oh dear.