Welcome to P-Oni-Ville

by gundamexia34

First published

2 guys, ready to play a game of DnD, get sent to Equestria, as Oni! How will they change things?

2 guys, ready to play a game of DnD, get sent to Equestria, as Oni! How will they change things?


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In a room with several computers, gaming systems, and other entertainment, there sat 2 men. One was sitting behind a desk, typing away at his keyboard. The other was sitting behind a desk drinking energy drinks waiting to load into the computer.

"Alright, this program should be just about ready! All I need to do is start it up and input the character sheets we made up, then we can start the game!" The one who was typing said with a broad grin as he turned in his chair to look at his friend.

He puts his drink down and loads up the program. “Awesome I got it loaded up, just need to find my character sheet again.” He says, furiously clicking his mouse and typing away at his keyboard.

"Don't worry, you asked me to hold onto it, remember?" The first said with a smirk as he held up 2 sheaves of paper and put them into the scanner next to his monitor. Starting the device, he grinned madly as the papers appeared on his screen, "K bro, you ready to do this?"

He throws him a thumbs up as his sheet shows up. “Yep, I’m good to go, bro. Hey, want me to top off your drink and chip or would you like to try my spicy nachos.” He says grabbing another drink from the mini-fridge under his desk.

"Hell to the no on those spicy chips! And my drink is good since I don't guzzle it like you do." The first teased.

“Ok, the program is loaded and my character sheet is open. You ready to start this Oni campaign?” The other cheered almost falling out of his chair.

"Hell yeah. Rolling the dice now to decide a setting!" With a few simple commands, a list and a 10-sided-dice appeared on the screen. The list seemed to flicker to something else for the briefest of moments, but when he blinked, it was back to normal, "That was weird. Remind me to check for bugs in the system when we're done."

“Gotcha.” The other said leaning forward tapping the screen to see if it happens again.

"Alright, here we go. Rolling the first D10!" So saying, he pressed enter.

Within seconds, the die was spinning wildly before finally coming to a stop on the number one. Before they could consult the list, it flickered and seemed to glitch out before showing new corresponding results.

"What the…" The first leaned in and stared at the result that now showed as where they would go if they got this result, "Equestria? Isn't that the show that you like the fanfics of so much that I never really got into?"

“Ha, you sure you’re not the one secretly reading fanfics about it? That's why you added that right?” The second said looking over his computer screen at his bro with a cheeky grin trying to hold back a laugh.

"Dude...I didn't put that on there." The first said hesitantly, freaking out a bit before his screen glowed blindingly bright and they both blacked out.

When the first guy woke up, he immediately noticed that he was in the middle of a grove of trees.

"What the hell?! Where am I?!" He called, before he noticed an oddity, "What's wrong with my voice!"

He stood up and right away, he saw that his arm wasn't the same as before. Whereas before, he had been scrawny and pale, now he was buff as hell and had stone grey skin.

"What the actual fuck?!"

“Shut the hell up, I only got 20 more seconds before work and I want to get that sleep in.” The second guy said above him.

"Dude, what the hell! Why… Are... You…" the first trailed off, seeing what looked like an Oni in the tree above him, "What the actual flying fuck?!"

The second guy opens his eyes and looks towards the voice and flips it off before pausing. “Who the fuck are you... Why does my voice sound different?!”

"Bro, is that you?! What the hell, how did you become an ONI?!"

“Nah bro, why do you look like an Oni?”

"Say what?! You gotta be shitting me!" As he said that, he noticed a puddle nearby and approached it to look at his reflection, "Holy. Shit. Dude, get your ass down here and look for yourself!"

He grabs a tree limb and swings down next to what he can only assume is his best friend. Looking into the puddle, he sees his Oni mask. “Hot damn, dude I am looking scary, do you think I could pick up chicks with this mask?”

"Psh, hell no! They'd run screamin'!"

“You right.”

"How about you show me what's under it? At least my face will just get a few odd looks."

“Don’t blame me if you turn to stone.” He pulls up the mask and looks at him.

"Dude, we could be twins!"

“We could be brothas!” He says pulling down his mask.

"Alright, so we got that figured out, now what do we do? We can't go back to our old lives looking like this!"

“You wanna live here in the woods, or search around for people?”

"I say we take a look around, but be careful! Who knows what kinda animals live around here?"

“Dude you don’t got to worry, we are Oni, what would want to pick a fight with…"

At that point, a massive roar resounded through the woods as a leonine beast ran into the grove. It had a scorpion's tail and bat wings and immediately tried to sting the larger of the two. In exchange, the Oni reached out with his larger arms and pinned the creature down with one hand before he put his claws on its neck. The beast whimpered as it realized it had encountered a superior predator.

“Holy shit dude, can we cook it?”

The bigger of the two used its other large arm to dope slap the smaller one.

"No. It's scared enough. Plus, I don't want to risk poisons from the tail."

At that moment, there was a frightened squeak behind some bushes.

The smaller one disappeared before yelling out. “Yo I got something.” As he came out of the bushes holding a yellow-skinned, winged woman in a green sweatshirt and jeans with pink hair and terrified light blue eyes in a hostage hold.

"Dude! What the hell, let her go, she's scared out of her wits!" The taller of the two said, giving another dope slap that forced him to release her, "Sorry about him, we're both a little on edge. Are you okay?"

"Um...Y...You aren't going to hurt me?" She stuttered out, hiding behind her hair.

“Shit, that's cute.” The smaller Oni blurts out.

"Eep!" The woman blushed a crimson red as she pulls her head down in an almost turtle-like fashion.

"Dude!" The taller Oni shook his head, "No, we won't hurt you. And I tried to take down the big guy over there…" Here he nodded to the one arm that was still pinning down the lion… scorpion… bat… thing, "...Without hurting him too much, either."

The smaller Oni whispers into the ear of the bigger Oni. “You sure you’re not more of a brony than me?”


“Never mind.” The smaller Oni backs off.

"Anyway, is there a reason you're out here, ma'am? This place seems dangerous."

"Umm...Y...Yes. I'm actually trying to catch my friend over there. He needs to have his leg stitched up, but he ran away before I could."

"Oh? Well in that case…" He turned to the smaller Oni, "I'll lift my big hand, you hold him down for a second until I can get there to help, then we hold him down so Little Ms. Veterinarian here can fix him up, agreed?"

“Gotcha, so where am I holding him down from?”

"You grab one arm and one leg, I'll grab the other ones, and then use my big hand to pin the tail."

“You da boss.” The smaller Oni does as he says.

As the woman took a needle and some thread to the inner thigh, where both Oni could see a rather nasty looking cut, the larger of the two's eyes widened before he smacked himself in the face with his one free hand.

"Gosh, my mother would thunderclap me for having such bad manners! We haven't introduced ourselves!" He exclaimed exasperatedly.

“'Sup, names Jay.” The smaller Oni says with a smile under his mask.

"Call me Alex. We're not from around here, if you couldn't tell." The larger one said with a smirk.

"W...Well, I'm Fluttershy. It's nice to meet you both."

The smaller Oni smirks behind his mask, just now realising what's going on.

Within a few minutes, the wound was shut and bandaged. The beast was freed and then ran off deeper into the woods.

“So what now 'big bro'?” He says with a huge grin on his face under the mask.

"Watch it, pal, I can still kick your ass." He said lightly, before turning to Fluttershy, "I don't suppose I could ask for your help in finding a place to stay?"

"Actually...You could stay at my house. I have more than enough space." Said Fluttershy kindly.

“You do that, I’m getting kind of hungry for meat, and since you won’t let me eat Fluffy over there, I will go see if I could catch some fish or something.”

"Umm...I have some fish at the hut. It's not much, but it should be enough for the night." Fluttershy pointed out.

“Too late already got fishing on my mind.” Jay said before vanishing.

"Eh, he'll be fine. He'll come around when night falls." Alex said calmly when he noticed Fluttershy looking worried.

“I will be back in 3 hours… Make that 6 I found dogs.” Jay’s voice echoed through the woods.

"Dogs?" Alex said semi-eagerly, being a lover of canines, only for several wolves made of wood to come running past in a terrified manner, "Oh. Dogs."

Ch 1

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Alex and Fluttershy made their way out of the woods, the former occasionally trying to start a conversation, only to get a mumbled and shy response. Therefore, the trip was spent mostly in silence until they reached Fluttershy's hut. As soon as they approached, the girl was swarmed with small animals that started to crawl all over her.

"O...Oh my! Hello! I'm okay! I'm sorry, but I had to go and help him!" She said fervently.

Jay walked in on them carrying a gigantic leaf with 4 large fish wrapped in it, “So, what’d I miss?”

"Not much, just her little friends being worried." Alex smiled as he jerked a thumb toward the fuzz pile that used to be Fluttershy before she was knocked over and swarmed.

Moving in closer to Alex’s ear he whispers, “You hungry? Because I just found out we can eat raw fish with no problem.”

"Hmmm, maybe I could put those lessons my uncle gave on grilling to use." Alex muttered, his mouth smoking as he recalled his fire breath. He had long since realized that he was the Oni from his character sheet.

“Dude your mouth is smoking.” Jay points out.

"Fire breath." Alex deadpans, taking a fish and blowing a small, but steady stream of flames to cook it just a little above being raw.

Jay watches before pulling out his sword, stabbing another fish then lighting his hand on fire to make the perfect spit roaster.

As the two ate, Fluttershy noticed but didn't comment. She knew some predatory animals that sometimes came to her when injured, and a few liked their meat cooked for some reason.

Jay looks up from his meal at Fluttershy who seems to be waiting on them to finish, “You want some?” He moves the fish a bit closer to her.

"Oh, no. I can't eat meat. Ponies like me are herbivores." She said quickly.

"Ponies?" Alex asked, a feeling of dread washing over him as he turned to Jay, "Oh God, please for the love of all that is good and holy don't tell me…"

Without skipping a beat Jay breaks out into laughter after he realized where they were, “Yo, I’m dead!”

Alex just facepalmed, "How the hell do we end up in messes like this? It's almost as bad as the time in Louisiana…"

“Hey, we agreed to never speak about that! Ever!”

"Oh, can it, it wasn't that bad. So you forgot to check 'under the hood', so what?"

“Oh, shut it, that was the most traumatizing thing I have never expected.”

"Seriously, at least you weren't the bottom!"

“You right.” He sighed, going back to eating.

All the while, Fluttershy watched with a tilted head and eyes wide with confusion. Alex looked up, and found that this was the last straw.

"Dammit." He sighed before walking over and picking her up in a hug, "YOU ARE TOO CUTE!" He all but squealed.

Jay could only watch with wide eyes behind his mask.

Fluttershy turned red all over as she started stuttering denials. Alex just kept cuddling her for a few moments before it registered that he was doing this and he put her down.

"S...Sorry about that. I couldn't help myself." He said, his cheeks more than a little red.

“Pervert.” Jay said, slowly backing into the woods.

"I am not! Come back here, you little bastard!" Alex yelled at him and charged with a fist raised.

“Ah! Nigga vanish!” He yelled, throwing a smoke bomb at his feet, and disappearing.

Alex slammed a fist into where he used to be, leaving a small crater a little bigger than his hand, "Why you...Get over here and take your beating like a man!"

“Where Oni, dumbass.” He yelled before running away through the treetops.

Alex stood there for a minute with sparks coming from his mouth with every panting breath as he calmed down. He then turned to Fluttershy apologetically.

"Sorry about that. He's like the brother I never had, but it also means we fight like brothers." He explained sheepishly.

“Aww, I didn’t know you cared that much.” Jay said swinging from a tree branch.

Alex scoffed, "Of course I care, dumbass! Why would I save your sorry behind whenever you get into a fight you can't handle otherwise?"

“That was only one time when I got my ass beat. One time!”

"Which one? The time you took on the Greenhorns, the time you fought the Stalkers, the time you…"

“I get it, already, now go back to being a pervert or something.”

Alex growled and shot off a bolt of lightning at his friend. A weak one meant to knock him onto the ground and stun him for a bit.

Jay falls to the ground spazzing like he just got tased.

Alex walks over and slings him onto his shoulder, then turns to Fluttershy as he sees the sun setting.

"He'll be fine, can we stay with you for the night?" He asked hesitantly.

"Of course." She said with an adorable smile.

When Alex woke up, he noticed that Jay was gone from the spot on the floor he set him down at the previous night, and in his place was a note.

Dear Oni brother, I am happy to say that you get to learn about MLP while I get to find more 'dogs' and probably make an army or just a hut. PS, I will be back when episode 1 starts as I want to explore. Signed, Jay.

Alex stared for a moment before he started to quietly swear up a storm to avoid waking Fluttershy and then burned the note to ashes with his fire breath. No need to tell her or any other ponies about the whole 'other dimension where you're a tv show' thing.

"Honestly, that idiot is always talking about the characters. I knew her name sounded relatively familiar!" He muttered, then went into the kitchen to see what he could make.

A paper dove flew through an open window, smacking Alex in the face before unfurling into a letter.

PPS I did magic ninja shit, you should too

Another bird flew through the window landing on the piece of paper and unfolding.

PPPS I mean the magic part, the ninja shit is my thing.

"...You little…" Alex said, a fondly exasperated expression on his face as he torched those notes as well.

At that moment, Fluttershy came down the stairs.

"Oh! Um...Hi." She said timidly, "I...Uh...Noticed your friend is missing, where did he go?"

"He took off into the woods. Knowing him, he plans on just hanging out in there for a bit." Alex said vaguely, then noticed Fluttershy looking a bit down, "It's nothing you did, he probably just wants to adjust for a bit."

"Oh. Alright." She looked out the window for a moment, and her eyes widened. Alex turned, but there was nothing there, "Sorry, I thought I saw a bird out there or something."

"Oh, no problem. So, you got anything to eat for breakfast?"

"Umm, not really." Fluttershy brightened, "But there's a really good bakery in town, we could go there."

"Sounds like a plan." Alex said, smiling.

Soon enough, the duo was standing outside what looked like a giant gingerbread house.

"Umm, are you sure they're open? The lights are off." Alex pointed out, noticing the blackened windows.

"It...It's fine. Come on!" Fluttershy grabbed Alex's hand and dragged him forward, despite him being twice her size.

She opened the door and shoved him inside, then shut it behind her.

There was silence for a moment, and then…

"Surpr-AIEEEEE! MONSTER!" All of the gathered ponies screamed when they saw Alex.

“Hey, that's offensive.” Jay said from the back with his mask on top of his head, eating a slice of cake.

The ponies turned and screamed even louder, panicking and running about chaotically until an airhorn caught everyone's attention.

"Hey! Everyone relax!" A pink pony with slightly darker pink hair and light blue eyes called as she lowered the arm with the airhorn, "These are the guys I wanted to welcome!"

“Ya, and this cake tastes delicious.” Jay said with a mouthful of cake.

"Oh, thank you!" The pink pony said before literally bouncing over to Alex, "I'm Pinkie Pie! The local party pony!"

"Name's Alex, and the glutton back there is Jay." Alex said with a shake of his head and a smile.

"Hey-o!” Jay yelled out.

The other ponies blinked, seemingly trying to process this, before they all exchanged looks and went to calmly participate in the party.

A few weeks later, the two Oni could be seen walking around town. Or rather, Alex could be seen doing so. Jay, as his note said, tended to stay in the woods, save for the occasional stop by Sugar Cube Corner for a treat. Alex had found his calling in helping the Apples collect from their orchard. He traded his labor for the ability to stay in their barn.

That day, Alex was walking about, getting groceries for Granny Smith while the others collected apples. He noticed the royal carriage approaching town, and had to blink and check the date on a nearby newspaper.

"Huh, almost time for the Summer Sun Celebration already?" He muttered, "Either the princess is early, or someone's coming to make sure things are set up."

“Finally episode 1 is starting, I was getting bored making improvements to my hut every few hours.” Jay says sucking on a popsicle while walking next to Alex with his mask on his hip. “You should have been practicing your fast questioning skills.”

"Gah!" Alex yelped, jumping to the left, "How many times do I have to tell you not to do that!? And what do you mean?"

“Oops, I said too much.” Jay laughs keeping pace with Alex.

"Whatever." Alex replied, rolling his eyes, then approaching the now descending carriage.

As soon as the door opened and he saw the pony who exited it, he knew they likely would never get along. The way she held herself was even stiffer than Rarity!

“Shit, I got to bounce, I’m helping Pinky taste test different cakes and stuff, bye!” Jay said walking away normally instead of vanishing.

"Hoo boy. Here we go." Alex said under his breath as he approached the pony, trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.

As soon as he heard her nonstop questions, he scowled and walked away.

"Well, here we go. Finally meeting this Princess Celestia everyone goes on about." Alex muttered, watching the stage along with the rest of the town.

“Yep, definitely going to meet a Princess.” Jay said, trying to hold back his laughter by covering his mouth.

"I hope she's nothing like her student." Alex scowled as he remembered his encounters with Twilight Sparkle.

Jay stifled his laugh as he unclips his mask from his belt and puts it on, pulling his swords from resting behind him to right next to him and tying his sheath and handle together. “I hope she doesn’t attack first before her monologue.”

"Dude, what the hell? She's just here to give a speech there's no…" Alex was cut off by a maniacal cackle.

A dark-colored pony with flowing star-covered hair and light blue slitted eyes appeared. Alex blinked and his brain stalled as he tried to figure out how the hell he missed the presence of a malevolent demon in town, vaguely noticing Jay mockingly repeating everything the mare said.

"...And the night shall last...FOREVER!" She yelled with another cackle as she turned to walk off-stage.

“I’d hit that.” Jay yells over everyone screaming to Alex.

Nightmare Moon stiffened and turned with a glare, only for her eyes to widen at the sight of the Oni.

"Oh, fuck." She said quietly before turning into mist and vanishing.

“Did you see the ass on her?” Jay elbow Alex in the arm winking.

Alex sighed, giving Jay a dope slap.