The Guard Report And the CMC Get Detention
A royal guard officer sits down across from a pony with red fur blue and green mane and blue and green tinted shades and opens up a folder and reads though it.
so let's get this clear one hour ago you was aressted for destroying a bar in a fight against a group of ponies attacking for a unknown reason during wich you put ones head into a wall and as far as we know he is still stuck froze the heads of two in the bar sinks put ones head though a jukebox which the bar owner a miss berry punch is suing you for and a fifth is stuck in the celing what excatly do you have to say for yourself
the pony looks at the guard and speaks with a smirking voice
self defence officer they attacked me and my drinking buddy first i admit i could have been a bit gentler with the bar and the jukebox but aside from the damages why am i here
the guard sighs.
your here becuase after the fight you procedded to keep knocking ponies out threw a unlcuky drake though a wall 2 carts and into a passing ambulance and for some reason still unknown you left a note with a picture of yourself in the crystal empire after a cherrybomb went off underneath shining armour at the excat time off the barfight
ohhhh that was just timing i set up 10 traps like that in the crystal castle he lost the bet and owes me bits and i said i would get him for them i even have his signiture on the agreement as to knocking ponies out what else was I supposed to do in the middle of a barfight
Red leans back in his chair a cocky grin on his face as he pulls out the agreement with Shining armour's signature on it and a stipulation clause for being randomly cherry bombed until he pays the 20bits.
If that is all then I will be going oh and tell miss punch I will forward her the bits for the jukebox and for the wall and ceiling repairs and for the 3 very expensive absinthe bottle's I drank and broke over a few heads and the chairs and mine and Walters bail what's the bail by the way?
The guard chuckles before replying.
The bails ten thousand bits each and the cost for the repair is around twenty thousand bits and it's fifteen hundred bits for the bottles of absinthe and I doubt you have that kind of money laying about.
Red laugh's as he reaches into his cloak and pulls out three bags of bits of varus size's.
This ones for the bail" he says pointing at the larger bag " these two are for the bar and drinks respectively now can I go? also wheres my swords? " Red asks pointing at the other 2 bag's.
Three doors down on the left in the evidence room
Suddenly a black pegases with white hooves black mane and metallic wings leans in though the wall and says.
Hey wanna see a dead body kids?
Again Walter i just killed a guy 3 weeks ago
the guard raises a eyebrow just as Red and Walter facepalm right before Red grabs walter and shouts out.
YEET NOT IT
He throws Walter into the guard knocking them both out the window as he then runs out the room to the evidence locker for his swords kicking the door down and grabbing them he jumps out the window.
OH YOU ARE SO IN FOR IT YOU MOTHERBUCKER WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU IM GONNA MAKE THOESE DEMONS OF YOURS WINCE IN PAIN
Walter shouts this as he then starts to giggle and laugh at the guard as he gently flys them down to the ground.
Hehehe I forgot i had wings on me again though i am sure you want to aresst us for the muder commet but as you can see were both a little insane and i can do magic i think wait are your walls magic walk though walls?
The Guard shakes his head and slowly starts to back away saying.
NOPE NOPE NOPE IM NOT PAID ENOUGH FOR THIS HORSEAPPLES
HEY WATCH YOUR BEEPING LANGUAGE THERES FOALS ABOUT NOW GO APOLOGIZE TO THEM BEFORE I GET REALLY MAD!
The guard looks around confused and replies.
But there are no...CELESTIA DAMNIT GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW AND UNCUFF ME YOU INSANE BIRD SO I CAN ARESSET YOU!
HOW RUDE CHILDREN COME ALONG NOW AND COVER YOUR EARS SO YOU DON'T HEAR ANY MORE OF THIS GUARDS FOUL LANGUAGE
Says Miss Cheerilie as she is leading the ponyville school children on a outing.
Miss Cheerilie what the fuck did he mean by Celestia damnit?
Wat ah Wanna know is why he said horseapples!
Really Scootaloo Applebloom your asking that when we just heard a insane pony shout out MOTHERBUCKER!
GIRLS YOU ALL HAVE DETENTION FOR USING THOESE WORDS WHERE EVER DID YOU HEAR THEM
Ah Heard Applejack say it to Big Mac durning a argument once.
I heard rarity shout it at Pinkie Pie one time after she ate all of her emergency icecream in order to win a bet with Rainbow Dash
Wait why the fuck are getting detention for repeating what they said?
Really girls you just swore to have a badflank reason to be in detention and here i was thinking you would get it after finally knocking out miss stick up her plot and her silver marefriend for one blankflank joke to far
Says Red landing next to the CMC somehow wearing badass shades and his wings expanded.
Now where did Walter go i need to find him before he trys blowing up the town or opening a hellportal for a laugh?
if your looking for the batshit crazy pegasus he flew off in the direction of the schoolhouse which is currently on fire with a bunch of monsters running amock. cursing was the safest way to keep cheerile shocked and the class from wandering off also Rainbow said if i saw you to shout HEY RED WHEN ARE YOU GONNA STOP AVOIDING YOUR LIL SIS right before she said to kick you in the nuts
says Scootaloo with a stright face and a smirk right before she swings her foot inbetween Redsopines legs and walks off with his badass shades and looks at the stunned faces around her.
What he's my kinda uncle and this is normal for him
As scootaloo walked away the other fillies could here mad laughter from the school house. "I AM BLOGNOTH DESTROYER OF WORLDS, BOW TO ME PAINIS CUPCAKE AND PREPARE YOUR ANUS FOR THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL!"
SEE I TOLD YOU THIS IS NORMAL FOR HIM AND WE HAD TO STAY AWAY FROM THE SCHOOOOOOOOOOL
shouts scootaloo as she is sent flying into Rainbows cloud house with a loud THWMP noise as Red dusts off a giant nurf hammer and puts it back into a poket dimension.