Happy Birthday

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It was the early hours of the morning when Twilight Sparkle, personal student of the ruler of the nation of Equestria, Princess Celestia, heard a knock on the door of her library. When she answered, she saw Pinkie Pie, a pink furred mare with a curly hot pink mane and tail and bearing a cutie mark of three balloons: two blue and one yellow, wearing a basket filled with envelopes on her head.

“Oh! Hi Pinkie-” was all Twilight could say before she was interrupted by her visitor.

“It’s soon!” Pinkie exclaimed, referring to when Twilight mentioned that she and her friends should get together for another party soon last night.

Twilight was confused about Pinkie’s words until the bouncing pink mare reminded her of what she said last night. She then presented her basket of envelopes to Twilight, who plucked one from the basket with her magic and read it, realizing that it was an invitation to an after-birthday party for Pinkie’s pet alligator Gummy who had turned one year old yesterday.

However, Twilight made an excuse to not attend the party by stacking a pile of books on the floor, saying that she was behind in her studies.

Later, at Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack was carrying several overloaded cartloads of apples into her barn when Pinkie stuck her head out of a nearby hay bale to give the farm mare her invitation to Gummy’s after-birthday party. However, Applejack said that she wouldn’t be able to make it to the party because she had too much work to do. After Pinkie took a moment to stare at Applejack who was straining a smile and beginning to sweat, Pinkie accepted the farm mare’s excuse and went off to invite the rest of her friends. Applejack took a moment to enjoy the relief of being freed from the pink mare’s scrutiny.

Rarity was the same as the other two except in this case, she made an excuse to wash her hair by dipping her head into her trash can that was filled with disgusting garbage and what she suspected was her sister, Sweetie Belle’s, latest attempts at cooking.

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy also had an excuse to not attend the after-birthday party for Pinkie’s pet alligator. They claimed to be cave-sitting for Fluttershy’s bear friend Harry.

Pinkie was disappointed that her friends were all too busy to attend her latest party. She began to suspect that her friends were avoiding her for some reason. When she saw Twilight sneaking into Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie’s suspicions grew. As Pinkie grew suspicious, something inside of the pink mare began to stir; something that would change Pinkie’s life forever.

Pinkie began following her friends around and saw that they were passing around a box to each other. She overheard Fluttershy and Rarity talk about how surprised they were that Pinkie would want to throw a party on this day of all days and that the party they were planning was much better.

Rainbow Dash accidentally crossed paths with Pinkie and fled as fast as she could. The pink party planner pursued the speedy pegasus all over Ponyville to grill her for information, moving at speeds that shouldn’t even be possible for an earth pony.

The ace flyer found refuge inside of Applejack’s barn. Pinkie arrived a moment later only to get waylaid by Applejack who was doing what she could to keep the suspicious mare from coming into the barn too soon.

Since she wasn’t going to be getting into the barn anytime soon, Pinkie decided to get the information she wanted from a different source. While she was interrogating Twilight’s assistant, a purple and green baby dragon named Spike, the increasingly stressed and upset mare asked all the wrong questions and ended up developing a misunderstanding about her friends. Her ears drooped and her mane deflated while her coloring began to dull. That was when the presence within her made herself known.

“Hmph, so much for friendship.”

Pinkie’s ears perked at the sound of the strange voice. She thought for sure that she didn’t think that but probably would have soon anyway. ‘“Huh?” Pinkie questioned as she looked around. “Who said that?” The voice did not respond.

After a few moments, Pinkie dismissed the voice as her imagination acting up and dismissed the baby dragon who was oblivious to the mare’s weird behavior which was more odd than usual.

Some time later, Pinkie decided to throw her after-birthday party for Gummy anyway. However, the guests were composed of inanimate objects such as a pile of rocks, a bucket of turnips, a sack of flour, and a pile of lint. As the increasingly disturbed party pony was interacting with her “guests”, the presence inside of her felt the shackles within her oblivious captor’s mind loosen, giving the presence enough room to free herself from what bindings that harmony magic bound her.

It was at that time that a certain statue in the Canterlot Gardens began to stir. The being within the statue sensed an unwanted form of chaos that could be unleashed before his big debut and it needed to be dealt with before this piece of fanfiction ended up becoming just like another famous grimdark fanfic.

Using whatever power he still had as well as a small plea to Harmony itself, the statue shattered to reveal a creature that was composed of numerous animal parts: deer, pony, lizard, eagle, lion, antelope, bat and dragon were all part of his body’s composition.

Acting quickly, Discord, the spirit of chaos, snapped his paw and teleported to Ponyville.

Pinkie continued to interact with her “guests” while pretending to voice their opinions. Each comment became more harsh. The objects believed her so-called “friends’ were worse than losers and suggested that she never speak to them again. Pinkie agreed. But one comment that came about was unexpected and would have been rejected if Pinkie were in her right mind.

“Your ‘friends’ sound like they don’t deserve your parties. In fact, they don’t deserve to attend parties ever again.”

“Huh?” Pinkie questioned, still believing that her “guests” were talking to her. “What do you mean?”

“Life is a party and they don’t deserve to be a part of it.”

Before Pinkie could think on what the voice said, she saw a flash of light in her room and what she saw the next moment filled her with curiosity. A creature that was made of different animals appeared seated in an extra chair that wasn't there a moment ago. She noticed the creature drinking the punch she reserved for her “guests” and biting into a rock that was part of Rocky the rock pile like it was a piece of bread. He then wiped his mouth with a turnip.

After a moment of shock, Pinkie recovered to shout at the mysterious creature. “Hey! Who are you, what are you and why are you being rude to Gummy’s guests?”

The creature paused his antics for a moment and put his teacup down, or rather the liquid that was being held in the shape it was in while in the cup since he had consumed the cup. “Not even a hello?” the creature asked. “I saw that you were throwing a fancy party and I wasn’t invited so I decided to crash it.” He didn’t bother with the other questions since they weren’t important.

“Oh...I guess that’s okay” Pinkie responded. “At least someone showed up to my party. Not like my no account ‘friends.’”

Discord knew her friends were planning a surprise birthday party for Pinkie, but he also knew that the mare had a dangerous side to her that could spell trouble for Equestria later, and that was a kind of trouble that even he, the spirit of chaos and disharmony, could not condone. He was fine with tormenting others, disrupting the flow of society and making other ponies’ lives miserable. However, the kind of chaos that Pinkie would unleash if not curbed or properly dealt with would be violent, bloody, and lethal; a kind of chaos that even he would never indulge. After all, what would be the fun of playing with dead ponies when they can’t even give him any kind of response for his efforts?

“Your ‘friends’ are actually the reason for my visit today. I can tell that you are walking down a dark path that even I cannot condone. I know that you are beginning to contemplate killing your friends because you feel betrayed by their actions. While I could tell you what they are really planning, that would only seek to delay dealing with your real problems.”

Pinkie raised an eyebrow and tilted her head slightly. “My real problems?” she asked.

Discord snapped his talons and the two were teleported to a more spacious side of the room. Pinkie landed on her back on a sofa and Discord appeared sitting in a chair wearing a tan sweater and a pair of half-moon glasses and holding a notepad and a quill. The notepad had mindless scribbles on it.

“Tell me, what was your foalhood like?”

Pinkie went with the flow of the situation and responded to his questions. “Well, I grew up on a rock farm but for some reason the memories of my life before I saw that rainbow wave in the sky were all a blur.” The party mare tapped her head furiously, trying to jar the memories that eluded her. “Huh? Why can’t I remember my early days at the rock farm?”

“I see…” Discord said while making childish doodles on his notepad. “Perhaps our other guest might shed more light on this.” Discord snapped his talons.

Pinkie was confused for a moment. “What other gueeeeeeessssss…..” was all she managed to say before she suddenly became extremely tired and fell asleep almost immediately.

What happened next would surprise anyone if their name weren’t Discord. The mare woke up to display her blue eyes which were a few shades darker than before. She scanned the room around her and once she was satisfied with her observations, she looked at Discord and regarded him with a bored expression.

“And to whom do I owe the pleasure of speaking to?” Discord asked.

“Pinkamena Diane Pie,” the mare said. She stretched the legs that she hadn’t been in control of for a long time, then placed her forehooves behind her head and crossed her hind legs to make herself more comfortable before continuing.

“So, the first one to actually acknowledge my existence after ten years turns out to be what looks like Frankenstallion’s monster.” Both rolled their eyes as she said that. “But I did hear what you asked earlier. That ponk who stole my body couldn’t remember our foalhood because her memories began when the rainbow light raced through the sky while I was left chained to the back of her mind. Watching her life go by would have been the most boring piece of crap I ever saw if life at the rock farm wasn’t the dullest experience ever.”

Discord mumbled nonsense as he started drawing the Pony Lisa on his notepad. “And you told your other self to kill her friends because…”

“Whatever I can do to liven things up around here. If she isn’t going to find some stallion to fuck her or do something bold like beat some pony up and steal their stuff, the least I can do to make her life more interesting would be to have her kill her friends and let her sort through the drama. Pinkie is soooo boring. Those parties of her’s are hardly what I would consider parties. Where’s the booze? Where’s the debauchery? All of her parties are foal friendly that the adults have forgotten what a real party is.” Pinkamena’s complaints continued for a while.

“So you have nothing against Pinkie’s friends?” Discord asked.

“Personally? No. I’m just bored out of my mind and want something that I consider fun to happen. I had plans to move to Detrot when I was able to move away from my parents. The crime rate there is the highest in all of Equestria and I was gonna have the adventure that I always wanted that my stuck-in-the-old-ways parents denied me. I just wanted my other self to do something hardcore because being made to watch her and her foalish ways is my own living tartarus.”

As much as Discord would not care to admit, he saw a little of himself in the psychotic mare. He shared her boredom of the current system of Equestria. Only the lengths they would go separated himself from his patient.

A dim light bulb appeared over his head. After tapping it a few times the bulb’s light brightened. As it so happened, he knew of a world that would satisfy this mare’s desires and possibly get it all out of her system. This would help him too as this idea would get those pesky Elements of Harmony out of the way when he was supposed to actually debut. When he explained his plan to Pinkamena he was surprised to find that she was on board with the idea.

With that, Discord snapped his talons and the mare’s eyes turned light blue again and her mane returned to its curly state, leaving a confused Pinkie Pie. Before she was able to voice her confusion, he prepared to snap his talon again but not before giving some parting words: “By the way Pinkie, happy birthday.”

*Snap*

With the draconequus’ plan in motion, he returned to his pedestal in Canterlot and froze himself in stone while making sure to place some enchantments on himself to fool the princesses into thinking that their detection spells went haywire instead of believing that the Lord of Chaos escaped confinement briefly.

Rainbow Dash showed up a moment later in Pinkie’s room to lead her to her surprise birthday party only to find the pink party mare wasn’t there. Scratching her head, Rainbow looked elsewhere for the missing pony.

The next moment that Pinkie became aware after the strange creature, whom Pinkie never got his name, snapped his talons, she found herself on the sidewalk of a strange city that reminded her a little of Manehattan. While she never went to the city herself, her pa did show her a picture of it one time.

What was stranger was the fact that there were more weird creatures all around her and they were all hairless, had weird appendages at the ends of their arms, walked on two legs and wore various clothing.

Nobody had noticed Pinkie yet, but she did take notice of someone walking down the sidewalk in her direction. She saw someone trying to peddle what looked like watches to him and another that was shaped differently in form from the previous one but had a voice that told Pinkie that the person was female. The woman appeared to want to show the guy a “good time.” While Pinkie had no idea what she meant, Pinkamena, who was observing through Pinkie, knew what she meant going by the tone and chuckled a little from within her counterpart’s mind.

“Oh, hell no!”

The man, the prostitute and Pinkie looked in the direction of the commotion to find a trio of men all wearing yellow all staring at some graffiti on a wall. The trio were all complaining about something called the Rollerz which appeared to be the word used in the wall painting. After that, they decided to use some spray paint to paint over the art. Pinkie didn’t think that was very nice since someone went through all the trouble to paint that on the wall only for someone to come along to paint all over it.

As the spraying began, another trio of guys walked up to the first group to confront them. The new group were all wearing blue shirts. One of the “yellow shirts” made some smart remark about being civic minded.

Eventually, the “blue shirts” got sick of the smart remarks and the two groups got into a fight using sticks and spray cans. The chaos was intensified when a group of people in red shirts drove by in a red vehicle that neither Pinkie or Pinkamena had seen before in their lives. The occupants of the vehicle then brought out more strange objects that the mentally divided mare had never seen before. What happened next made Pinkamena look on with interest as the objects started firing projectiles at the blue and yellow groups. All but two members of the two groups survived that vicious assault.

The blue survivor brought out another weapon and unleashed it on the red group while screaming “Fuckers!”, killing most of them before the vehicle moved in Pinkie’s and the bystander’s direction. Pinkie Sense firing, the mare and the bystander dove away from the incoming vehicle. Seeing one of the red shirts still alive, the blue shirt shot him to make sure he didn’t walk away alive. The remaining yellow shirt shot the blue shirt in the head.

The yellow shirt saw the bystander and pointed his weapon at him. “Wrong time, wrong place-,” he said before he saw Pinkie. He then turned and pointed his weapon at her. “The fuck are you supposed to be?” was his last sentence before another guy wearing a black shirt with a horizontal purple stripe shot him in the head. Another guy who was wearing a purple shirt and black pants, jacket and hat and wearing gold around his neck helped the bystander up and carried him away from the wreckage, calling him Playa. Pinkie didn’t know if that was his real name or just some generic title the strangers called him. Since the guy didn’t say anything to correct the other two, Pinkie decided that that was his name.

Just then her Pinkie Sense informed her of an imminent explosion. She got back on her hooves and ran as fast as she could away from the wreckage. The burning vehicle exploded seconds later.

With the immediate danger over, Pinkie decided to act like her normal self and introduce herself to the others. When she approached, the others stared at her like they had never seen anything like her. Pinkie broke the silence.

“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie. Do you like parties? I love parties. I’m the best party planner in all of Ponyville and-” The mare’s ranting went on and on.

While the pink mare was ranting about herself, one of the guys in purple spoke to the other. “Hey Julius, please tell me you’re seeing what I’m seeing because if not then I might need some time off to see a doctor.”

“If you’re hallucinating Troy, then I am too,” Julius said. “Hey Playa, you seein’ this?” Playa nodded. “Then either there were some real strong drugs in that car or this pink pony thing is actually real.”

Troy interrupted the moment by demanding that he and Julius get as far away from the area as possible before the cops show up. Julius made an offer to Playa to help be part of the solution to the problem of the rampant gangs in Stillwater before taking off with Troy.

Despite her counterpart’s ranting, Pinkamena picked up on Julius’ offer and was intrigued by it. If what she saw before was any indication of things to come, then this adventure that had been thrust upon her was going to be the most exciting birthday present ever.

The Most Unusual Canonizing

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Pinkie spent several hours wandering and bouncing aimlessly around the city. Pinkamena allowed her counterpart to do so because while there was no guarantee that they would make it home to Equestria, it was still a good idea to scout out the area since there was a good chance she would need the information later. She also caused Pinkie to subconsciously avoid people in red, blue, or yellow shirts as she didn’t want that kind of trouble; at least not yet.

Pinkie was getting a number of stares from the city’s many residents. While Pinkie was oblivious to them, Pinkamena could only chuckle to herself as she saw a variety of reactions from the onlookers. Some had tried to call the police only to hang their phone up and slump over in depression after getting laughed at over the phone. Pinkie wanted to go cheer those people up when she picked up on their sadness, but they ran away screaming while trying to tell themselves that they were still sane. Other reactions included throwing bottles and cans of beer away as if they thought whatever was in the brew was making them hallucinate. Others still called their psychiatrist to schedule an immediate appointment or, in the absence of one, committed themselves to a mental hospital.

As fun as causing others to freak out was, Pinkamena needed to give her oblivious counterpart some guidance. Now was as good of a time as any to convince her other self that she was real.

With a sigh, Pinkamena broke her silence for the first time since arriving in this world.

“Hey. Pinkie.”

Pinkie looked around to find the source of the voice who called to her. “Who said that?” she asked quickly. She narrowed her eyes as she was getting tired of hearing disembodied voices.

“The voice in your head you idiot!”

The party mare giggled. “Silly, I have several voices in my head. There’s one for Rocky. There’s one for Madame le Flour. There’s one for-”

“I’m not some fake voice you made up with your weird imagination! I’m real!”

“Really?” Pinkie asked, narrowing her eyes and playfully lowering her voice. “Prove it.”

Just then a box-shaped vehicle drove up beside the mare. A pair of those strange creatures got out of it while carrying what looked like a plastic loop on a metal stick.

Sensing danger, Pinkie started to run away from her pursuers. Before she got far, Pinkie froze just before she felt her mind was being pulled away from her body. She could still feel her connection to her body but at the same time not fully in control of it. Her body’s mane and tail deflated and became straight, her coat dulled, and her eyes took on a deep blue color.

Pinkie watched out of a window in what looked like a two bedroom apartment with doors that only led to the bedrooms. There was no doorway out of the apartment and she noticed a door that looked chained up as if forbidding her from opening it.

The party pony continued to watch the scene unfold as her body turned around and got up on her hind legs before taking on a fighting pose. When the first catcher attempted to lower his tool around the mare’s neck, her body dodged forward and avoided capture by rolling past his left leg. Her dodge positioned her right behind the first catcher and used the opportunity to kick him in the back of his left knee with a hind leg which knocked him off balance. The impact was enough to cause him to fall backward.

The second catcher tried to take advantage of the fight to catch the mare only for her to place the first catcher in between herself and the second catcher while the first was still falling. The second catcher ended up placing his animal control pole around the neck of his partner. While the duo was busy disentangling themselves, the mare punched the second catcher in the chest with her left fore hoof. The impact combined with her earth pony strength ended up breaking a few of his ribs and cracking others. The man fell unconscious immediately after the force of the impact knocked him into a wall.

Seeing how she went a little overboard with the second catcher and she wasn’t actually trying to kill them, the mare waited for the first catcher to free himself from the control pole before the mare punched him out with a fore hoof to the face with some restraint.

Pinkie watched as her body walked away from the scene of the fight, leaving the people of the city to call the unfortunate city workers an ambulance.

“Why would you do that?!” Pinkie yelled. “Sure they were being mean but you didn’t have to beat them up like you did.”

“I didn’t have to not beat them up either but they decided to get in my way and they suffered the consequences of doing so. I don’t care if they were only doing their job. I am not going to be put in a cage like some animal. Never again!”

Pinkie tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. “Again?”

The mare controlling the body shook her head. “Nevermind that. It’s not important.” She paused for a moment. “Name’s Pinkamena by the way.”

Pinkie became a little more cheerful at learning the other mare’s name, even if she didn’t ask, and was not the least bit curious that Pinkamena’s name was similar to her own. While excited at the prospect of making a new friend, she was still a little disturbed by the argument the other mare used because it sounded mean.

“Where am I?” Pinkie asked.

You’re in our mindscape. It’s where we go when we aren’t controlling this body. We share the body, by the way. We can exert a subtle degree of control over the body from here, but don’t interfere unless necessary. I’ve been using that ability to keep you away from those people in the yellow, blue, and red shirts because they are likely to freak out and try to kill us. While I could probably handle them, I don’t want to gather unwanted attention yet.”

“Oh, well thank you for protecting me,” Pinkie said. Pinkamena rolled her eyes in response.

Pinkamena spent the next hour wandering through the streets. A number of nearby people were terrified because of the mare’s actions against the city catchers which made Pinkie feel sad because she couldn’t cheer them up while not in control of her own body.

“So, where are we going?” Pinkie asked.

“Those guys from last night were inviting that other guy to some place called a church. I wanna go there and see what this whole gang stuff is all about. Since Equestria didn’t have a place like that, I have no idea what a church looks like so we’re gonna have to ask around.”

“Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Can I do it?”

Pinkamena shrugged. “Knock yourself out.” With that, the pony’s exterior changed back to her curly maned, light blue eyed, and bright colored self.

With the party pony back in control again, she looked around and saw some person cowering in an alley. She rushed up to the person and asked where the church was. The person jumped up and ran as fast as he could down the alley and away from the crazy pony. Pinkie wasn’t having that and chased the person before tackling him and pinning him to the ground when she appeared in front of the direction the guy was running. Pinkie asked again where the church was. The victim stammered all the way through his directions but Pinkie understood him well enough and jumped off the person before following his instructions. The comfort of darkness finally claimed the poor man as he passed out in the alley.

Pinkie eventually found the church. The architecture was different from the other buildings in the area. Even from the outside, the building looked run down. There was graffiti all over the building and there were towers around it with pointy tops like the ones at Canterlot Castle, except nowhere near as brightly colored.

A commotion was heard from the side of the building and Pinkie went to investigate. There she saw a large gathering of people wearing purple-themed clothing. Inspecting the crowd, Pinkie eventually saw Playa among them. She also saw Troy and even Julius who was addressing the crowd; talking about locking shit down and something called Rollerz, Carnales and Vice Kings and something about flags. Pinkie didn’t get any of that while Pinkamena could only guess that they were rival gangs or something and that the gang Julius was addressing were about to make their move against the other gangs.

One of the members, who wore a white t-shirt, a purple jacket, a pair of sunglasses, and his hair was black at the roots while white on top, and had a tattoo on the back of his neck, noticed Playa and asked Julius who he was.

“Troy and I found him. I was gonna see if he’d ride with us.”

The white haired guy’s only complaint was that he wasn’t canonized yet. Julius knew that he couldn’t give anyone special treatment so he let the guys around Playa get ready to canonize the new recruit.

“Ooh! Ooh! Can I get canonized too?” Pinkie said while bouncing and making herself known to everyone else. She paused in mid-air as she suddenly thought of something. “Uhh...what’s canonized?”

The entire courtyard was silent long enough for the silence to become awkward. Everyone stared at the pink pony for several minutes not only for being the most unusual thing they had ever seen but also the fact that she was breaking the laws of physics.

The white-haired man recovered first. “What the fuck is that thing?!” he said.

“Uhh...Troy and I also discovered that creature where we found the new guy. I think that’s a she but I’m not sure,” Julius responded.

Pinkie giggled at the comment. “Silly, I’m a pony.”

“Whatever, let the boys deal with it and let's get to this guy’s canonizing,” the white-haired man said.

Pinkie soon found herself surrounded by members of the crowd and they were itching for a brawl. The mare shrinked upon herself as she found herself in a tight situation again. When the fists started flying, Pinkie dodged each one with the help of her Pinkie Sense but dodging was not helping her situation.

Pinkamena had seen enough. “Pinkie, switch with me.”

“What?! No! I don’t wanna hurt them.”

“You can either switch with me or we will eventually wind up bloodied, beaten and broken and left in a dumpster somewhere to die.”

Pinkie couldn’t really see any other options since these guys looked like they were having their own kind of party and she was the pinata. “Just please don’t hurt them too badly.”

“I don’t intend to.”

“Pinkie Promise.”

Pinkamena groaned with an eye roll. “Alright, cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. Now can you let me take over?”

“Okay!” Pinkie said cheerfully.

Once the shift occurred, the one-sided brawl began to shift in Pinkamena’s favor. One fighter overextended his punch and the mare grabbed his arm before throwing him on his back then punching him out. The others paused for a moment and looked at each other before they resumed their assault on the pink mare. One fighter charged at her only for her to duck low and sweep a hind leg under the attacker, causing him to trip and fall flat on his stomach before the mare jumped upward and did an elbow drop on his spine and knocked the wind out of him.

The next attacker also overextended their punch when the mare dodged except this time the mare grabbed his arm and used her earth pony strength to hurl him into a female attacker and a few behind her. It was at this point that the fighters began to believe that she was a pretty decent fighter and to stop underestimating her.

“That’s enough,” Julius called out.

The gang members stopped attacking, or getting their butts handed to them in Pinkamena’s case. Playa didn’t fare too well. Troy helped Playa up, saying that they all went through that. “Blood in, blood out,” the white-haired man said.

Julius turned to Pinkamena. “That’s some impressive shit you just showed us. I don’t care where you learned to fight like that, what matters is that if you want in the Third Street Saints, you’re in, uhh...what did you say your name was?”

“Pinkie or Pinkamena, depending on my mood. Right now, it’s Pinkamena.”

Julius raised an eyebrow, “Okay…? Anyway, welcome aboard, Pinkamena”

“Not to copy Julius, but that really was some impressive shit. The only other Saint who kicked ass like that was Johnny,” said a man with dark skin and wore a grey jacket over a purple shirt and wore a purple headband.

“Shit, took me half the time,” bragged the white-haired guy who Pinkamena guessed was Johnny.

Julius decided it was time to get down to business. “If we’re serious about takin’ back the Row, we gotta let those muthafuckas know what time it is. Now you break it down, and it’s all about respect. Get enough of it, they’re gonna back off, and we’re gonna move right on in. We got some friends in town that could use some help. Give ‘em a hand. ‘Course you can always drop any muthafucka flyin’ the wrong flag. So long as word gets out that the Saints is on the Row, I don’t give a damn how you do it. You feel me?”

Pinkie and Pinkamena were each excited in their own way that they could handle earning respect from the city however they pleased. Pinkie was looking forward to being helpful to the people of the city and Pinkamena could get the excitement she craved and wouldn’t get in trouble with the gang if she got too enthusiastic with her work.

Of all the Saints, Troy was the only one who had a really bad feeling about the days to come.

Author's Notes:

So now our favorite party planning and murdering pony has joined the 3rd Street Saints. Hope you enjoy the touch of pink pony for each of the missions, strongholds and activities. Some will be just silly and some will be bloody. Some still may have a bit of dark comedy to it.

Conversations in italics are mental conversations between Pinkie and Pinkamena.

I had to go over this chapter several times before I was satisfied with it. I even added the concept of the mindscape as a last minute addition to show where the inactive pony is when they aren't controlling their body.

One last thing, I added the Sex and Fetish tags because after thinking about it, this is Saints Row, the whole series is loaded with sexual situations and fetish fuel. Death tag is still up for debate though.

Vices of Stillwater

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After her impromptu canonizing, Pinkamena decided to listen to what her fellow members were saying. Some were amazed with her skills. Some were still weirded out about her. Some complained that they got beat up by a “little girl’s fantasy.” Pinkamena couldn’t help but laugh at that last part, causing some of the members to roll their eyes along with some “Whatevers.”

Now that she and Playa were part of the gang now, Troy rounded them up to let them know that he was going to teach them the basics of gang life. The first thing they did was visit the nearest gun store which was just across the street from the cathedral. Troy gave Playa and Pinkamena a thousand dollars each from the Saints reserve. Pinkamena took the cash with a look of curiosity.

“What’s this?” she asked.

“It’s money. You never seen money before?” Troy snapped.

“Where I come from we don’t use paper money. It’s all coins.”

“Well here we use paper money. Get used to it.” Troy then exhaled some smoke from his cigarette. “Not sure why Julius even bothered to give you that money. You don’t look like you could fire a gun let alone hold it.”

Pinkamena rolled her eyes as she entered the store. The shopkeeper stared at the pink mare entering his store and considered kicking her out because of his ‘no pets’ policy but thought better of it because of the rumor going around about a strange creature that put two animal control employees in the hospital and figured that he was looking at the culprit.

Inside the store, Pinkamena looked at the weapons on display. They looked much like the ones that she saw last night. However, since she didn’t know anything about guns, she had to ask Troy who indulged her request and told her about pistols, submachine guns or SMGs, shotguns, rifles, rocket launchers and explosives to name some of the weapons in Stillwater.

With her funds limited and her choices expensive, Pinkamena bought a NR4 pistol and a T3K Urban SMG. While the shopkeeper had reservations about selling weapons to animals, especially one that didn’t look like she could wield them, he was also not going to turn down a sale because money was money. Pinkamena stored her new toys within her mane which confused everyone around her.

After Playa bought a Vice9 pistol and a T3K Urban, Troy wanted Playa to use that piece he bought and help him clean up the Row of the Vice King presence. Pinkamena wanted to confirm with Troy one last time about something. “So, anything goes when dealing with these guys?”

“Huh? Yeah, why?” Troy asked.

That was all Pinkamena needed to hear as her smile became wide and creepy. Pinkie knew what was coming and she didn’t like it at all but there was little she could do to convince the Vice Kings and Pinkamena to not try to kill each other so she could only look away from the imminent carnage Pinkamena informed her that the room marked for her would let her avoid hearing the gunfire and seeing the carnage. Pinkie made good use of the room.

Pinkamena, Playa and Troy ran to the next block southeast of the store and saw a pair of yellow shirts whom Pinkamena would associate as Vice Kings from now on. The mare ran right up to the Vice King members and put on her most cheerful smile. The Vice Kings had looks of confusion for a moment but that was enough before Pinkamena pulled out her pistol and SMG and shot one in the head with the former and turned the other into swiss cheese with the latter. The duo dropped before they even knew what happened and dropped ammo clips and cash that the violent mare helped herself to.

Troy and Playa had no words to describe the illogical event that just took place in front of them. Troy couldn’t even fathom how it was possible for the mare to fire her guns when logically she shouldn’t have been able to do so because guns were not designed for hooves. He decided to just drop the matter for the sake of his sanity.

The commotion put the rest of the VK in the area on alert while Troy and Playa charged the next pair of VK members with guns blazing. Pinkamena noticed several things from the fight. One was that she saw how Troy and Playa reloaded their guns; useful knowledge. Another was that the VK were poor shots at long range but better at closer range. She would use this to her advantage at some point.

Another pair of VK thugs were just down the sidewalk from the previous pair and started charging their way toward the trio who gunned them down with their pistols. While Pinkamena thought she would need to practice with her aiming, she realized that she was being aided with a targeting reticle in her vision that seemed to appear whenever she pulled out a gun.

Pinkamena was also greeted with a tingling sensation coming from her left rear hoof which she figured was her Pinkie Sense telling her something. The feeling intensified after killing that sixth VK in the area. She wasn’t sure what the feeling meant so she put the thought away for the moment.

“Looks like that got their attention...if it ever gets too hot, go to Forgive and Forget, they’ll cover up everything…,” Troy said.

The trio spotted one of the cars, a Compton, that looked like it was once owned by the VK grunts they just dropped. The group barely managed to squeeze into the two seater car and Playa took the wheel. Whether he didn’t care or was just a naturally bad driver, Playa still drove recklessly to the Forgive and Forget, running over a pedestrian or two.

Their vehicle drove into a building that looked like a short tunnel and Pinkamena’s tingling sensation disappeared when they emerged from the other side. She began to suspect that the sensation had something to do with their current level of notoriety towards a gang. She would need to set them off again to be sure. Pinkamena put the idea on the back burner for the time being until she was ready to confirm her theory.

For now, Pinkamena decided to ask about the notoriety wipe from the Forgive and Forget. “That’s it?” The madmare asked. “All we have to do is go through one of these things and we can get away with murder?” She pointed to the Forgive and Forget.

“Yep, just goes to show how fucked up this city is,” Troy said. He looked at Playa, “Hey man, now that everything’s taken care of can you drop me off at Freckle Bitch’s? I’m jonesin’ for a fun bag.”

The location itself was across the street from the Forgive and Forget so the trip was brief.
Playa drove up to the drive thru. Since Playa insisted on being mute, Troy ordered two fun bags. However, Pinkamena demanded one too. Troy had to question whether it was a good idea to give a hamburger to a horse before the mare told him where to shove his opinions.

Pinkie reeled in disgust when she saw what her counterpart was about to put into her body which caused Pinkamena discomfort. The madmare rolled her eyes and had a mental conversation with her partying partner. “What’s the matter now?”

“You’re about to eat that?! Why?”

“How do you even know that this is bad for you? Did you actually try one yourself? Or was it because someone told you that they were?”

Pinkie thought about what her counterpart said and realized that she had a point. Everypony in Equestria had always said that meat was bad for ponies but never explained why that was. Pinkie also never experienced peer pressure before because her parents home schooled her for the first few years that she remembered, so she was easy to convince to try the hamburger...or at least let Pinkamena try it.

With her appetite regained, Pinkamena took a bite of the cheap hamburger. It was greasy but not bad. The taste was also being shared by Pinkie who found the taste strange since she tended to eat mostly sweets more than the flora that most ponies ate. She eventually came around after a few more bites. The fries were soggy but still edible.

The last stop on the list of errands was a phone store to buy the pony a phone. Pinkamena let Pinkie decide on the phone to buy and as Pinkamena had foreseen, her partner chose a pink colored cell phone.

The group returned to the cathedral and the mare had given her phone number to the gang lieutenants and leader.

Julius praised the newbies for learning the basics so fast and told them that the next step would be to lock their reputation down and that meant going out and helping some sympathizers of the Saints with their problems. One in particular was in the Harrowgate area of the Saint’s Row District. The area was currently under the control of the Rollerz so Playa and Pinkamena had to be careful not to upset the Rollerz too much since they would not get support from the Saints while in the area.

The drive to the location was uneventful if you don’t count the minor property damage Playa caused with his reckless driving.

The ally of the Saints introduced himself as Will who was either not paying attention to the pink pony in front of him or his problems have put his curiosity on a lower priority queue in his mind.

Will wore a dark red shirt underneath a purple jacket and a metal chain around his neck. The duo also noticed his jeweled goblet in his left hand.

Apparently, Will’s business of selling prostitution services hit a snag because he lacked quality hos who were in the service of rival pimps and the one ho he did have was extremely unattractive. For Will’s business to turn a profit he needed Playa and Pinkamena to steal from the other pimps. In exchange, the two would get a cut of the profits and a boost to their gang’s reputation.

Playa had a feeling that they might be transporting more hos than their two seater could carry so he and Pinkamena abandoned their current car once they located a suitable four seater. Once they acquired one the duo located one of the pimps in the area. Playa drove up to him and Pinkamena shot him in the head with her pistol which caused the nearby ho to flee in terror. Playa whistled for the frightened ho to get in his car so he could drive her to Will and make him money.

Playa and Pinkamena repeated the process but they also had to deal with some Rollerz who did not look too happy about them killing pimps and stealing hos. Playa kept driving while Pinkamena shot the pursuing drivers in the head to get them off their backs.

Once the duo had delivered three hos to him, Will was satisfied with the new additions and paid them for their troubles. He also mentioned that they could call on him if they needed his help.

Word quickly got back to Julius about the increase in the Saints reputation in the area and he decided to inform Pinkamena and Playa that the Carnales stronghold in Athos Bay was ripe for the taking.

It was finally time to start pushing back against the rival gangs.

Taking back the Row

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Athos Bay was a small part of the city that bordered Mission Beach where the Saints base of operations was located. While the district itself had little value, it was also where the Carnales would be in the best position to spy on the Saints. Taking control of the small district would give the Saints control of half of the highway to the Carnales-controlled districts.

The center of Carnales operations for Athos Bay was an abandoned storefront that contained a skeleton crew of Carnales members led by a single lieutenant.

Playa and Pinkamena drove casually around the storefront to scope out the defenses and noticed a single red car that one may use to make a getaway if things got too heated.

Since Playa wasn’t going to discuss any plans because he still remained mute for some reason and Pinkie was sure it was because of nerves instead of some medical condition, Pinkamena had Playa charge into the storefront by himself, guns blazing. To make sure nobody tried to make a getaway and turn the assault into an irritating chase, Pinkamena decided to sabotage the La Fuerza parked outside the storefront. She reached into her mane and pulled out one of Pinkie’s timed party bombs that her counterpart used for impromptu parties. With the timer activated, Pinkamena tossed the bomb into the floor of the passenger side of the La Fuerza.

The violent mare ran around the corner just as the lieutenant was starting to make a break for the car. When the Carnales officer entered the vehicle he quickly turned the car on then shifted it into gear before flooring the accelerator pedal. It was when he was racing close to the vehicle’s top speed when the party bomb detonated in a cacophony of loud music and blinding confetti. The device was not designed to go off in small spaces and so the blast blew out all the windows and caused the lieutenant to go into a panic and lose focus of the road. The car veered off into oncoming traffic which ended up smashing into the car hard enough that it was sent flying into the sea.

The lieutenant was unable to gather his wits fast enough before his car was flooded with sea water and the vehicle was sinking fast. The seatbelt was stuck so the lieutenant couldn’t get free of his sinking prison. He would not drown, however, because somehow the car ended up exploding in the water, taking the lieutenant with it.

Word quickly got back to the Saints that the abandoned storefront was now actually abandoned. The gang quickly moved in and drove the remaining Carnales back to their side of the highway. Those who remained were given the choice to change flags or be left for City Sanitation to pick up. The number of people wearing purple shirts in the city had a noticeable increase that day.

Playa didn’t see what exactly happened to the lieutenant but that was fine. He figured that Pinkamena took care of him and left it at that.

His phone rang and he answered to find Julius wanted him and Pinkamena to return to the church and get ready to reclaim the Row. The church was nearby so the trip was short. Playa and Pinkamena, in a four seater, parked outside the courtyard before Pinkamena called Julius and told him they were waiting.

A minute later, Julius and Troy exited the church and entered the vehicle. Troy mentioned that there was a turf war going on at Harrowgate and every gang was participating in it. He had some reservations about letting the newbies participate in the matter instead of bringing Johnny but Julius had faith that the two of them could handle it.

The group arrived in an area that contained a number of warehouses where some of the crates were placed outside the buildings. There were also a number of semi-trailers left in the area.

Once the group got out of the car, the Saints moved in on the gang members that were fighting each other as well as the saints. The chaos going on gave the Saints an edge against the other gangs as they moved as a single group while the others were scattered all over the place.

Pinkie took that moment to pipe up nervously, “Hey, Mena?”

Pinkamena was startled from her killing reverie. “What do you want?”

“I think I have an idea. I still don’t like seeing you going around killing these people no matter how mean they are. But if it really makes you happy, I’ll help you if I can.”

Pinkamena thought for a moment and figured it wouldn’t hurt for her to make herself useful since she was dead weight to her as things currently stood. “So what’s your idea?”

“Switch with me, I think I can help you and the Saints take them all out in one fell swoop.”

Pinkamena sighed, “Fine, just don’t get us killed. If anything, you’re more reckless than Playa’s driving.” Pinkie giggled.

Pinkamena took a deep breath, and after releasing it her features changed to her curly, brighter form. With Pinkie back in control, she put her guns back in her mane before pulling out a megaphone and an air horn. She then rushed up to a nearby crate and opened it to reveal a number of noise-cancelling ear muffs. She placed one over her ears and passed the rest to the Saints who quickly put them on because they had a good idea about what the party mare was about to do.

Mere seconds later, a loud sound blared from the megaphone that was so loud that it could be heard for miles. The nearby gang members stopped fighting as they became disoriented while trying to work through the loud, painful ringing in their ears.

The fighting Rollerz, Carnales and VK were further distracted when they saw a bouncing pink pony pronking through the area holding a sign that said “Party this way.” The confusion turned to curiosity as they were led to an area of the complex that had a number of tables with food on them as well as a stereo that had a cassette tape in it that played only one track. The VK, LC and WR all gathered at the tables in their disoriented state because the loud noise made concentrating a challenge for them.

With all the rival gang members gathered in one place, Pinkie slipped away from the party and rejoined the Saints who were watching the strange event. Pinkamena took over again and presented her guns, letting the Saints know that this was what the mare had planned. The Saints pulled out their pistols and opened fire at the fully exposed gang members. The Saints rivals were mowed down within seconds. Those who were smart enough to flip the tables to create barricades did so too late as their numbers were too few to stop the Saints anymore.

Those who survived long enough surrendered and were given purple shirts to change into later.

Meanwhile the turf war commotion had caused the police to come running. “Can it ever be easy?” Troy asked nobody. Playa, Pinkamena, Julius and Troy got into the nearest four seater which was a car that belonged to the Vice Kings. Before Playa got into the driver seat, Pinkie forcefully took over again and forced Playa into the passenger seat while she took the driver seat. Pushing on the accelerator, Pinkie dashed past the nearby police car. The cops attempted to ram Pinkie’s car and even drive in front of it, but somehow she always managed to turn, swerve, and outright avoid the police’s attempts to stop the fugitive vehicle.

Pinkie soon managed to ditch the cops, forcing them to give up the chase. Troy requested for Pinkie to drop everyone off at the church. “Okie dokie lokie,” she said.

Troy and Pinkamena each had a question for the party pony.

“How did you know that crate had ear muffs?”

“When did you learn how to drive?”

Pinkie giggled, “Silly, I had crates of ear muffs hidden all over the city for crates of ear muffs emergencies.” Troy once again decided to drop the matter and filed any future pony-related madness into a box labeled “Pink Pandora’s Box.”

She then responded to the other question, “It wasn’t too hard, I saw Playa driving and thought he was playing bumper cars instead of actually driving.”

Pinkamena was at a loss for words even as she tried to sound them out, “That doesn’t make any...you know what, that’s fine. I’ll let you handle the driving when necessary. Better than Playa’s driving since he drives like he got his license from a milk carton.”

Troy stared at the pink driver for a few moments before leaning over to Julius. “Hey, is it me or does Pinkamena look cheerful all of a sudden?” He whispered.

Julius placed his fingers on his chin as he thought for a moment. “I think I’m starting to understand something about her. When she introduced herself at the church, she called herself Pinkamena and sometimes Pinkie. I think which one we call her depends on her appearance. Could be that she has two personalities with their own identities but I ain’t no psychiatrist. Whatever the case, we should just address her based on that theory because that’s all we have to go on.”

Troy shrugged, “Whatever you say, she still weirds me out though.”

“You and me both.”

The four of them arrived at the church and Julius announced that he was pleased that the Row belonged to the Saints again. However, the Saints were far from done with their campaign against the rival gangs. He requested for Playa and Pinkie to join a meeting he was going to be setting up soon.

Julius addressed the crowd before him by stating that they may have the Row again, but the other gangs were going to be coming for them now and they would keep coming until all three gangs were disbanded or the Saints were, and the Saints had no intention of losing the war.

Dex, the one with the purple headband, was put in charge of leading the efforts against the Carnales. They were the oldest gang in Stillwater and their connections to a Columbian drug cartel meant that they had the money to keep their operations going for years to come. Since the Saints couldn’t afford to anger the Columbians, Dex would have to play it smart and outwit the Lopez family who lead the Carnales.

Julius wanted Troy to handle the Vice Kings but Troy outright refused to go against Benjamin King, the leader of the VK. Pinkamena suspected there was a story there but let the matter lie for the time being. Johnny volunteered to lead the campaign against King instead, despite Julius’ protests. Julius asked Dex to keep an eye on Johnny to make sure he didn’t do anything rash. For the first time, Pinkamena felt like she had met someone she might eventually come to respect as she heard about Johnny’s simple policy about dealing with King.

Dex asked about who would deal with the Westside Rollerz, the newest gang in town. That was answered by a woman who walked up to Julius. The woman wore a black short top and some tight blue pants. Her hair was done up in a bun. Some idiot even insulted her by calling her a ho which earned him a punch to the face. When she asked if there were anymore comments, Johnny gave some snarky advice on how to throw a punch which earned a snicker from Pinkamena.

Julius had asked the woman, Lin, to gather intel on the gang from the inside since they knew so little about the newcomers.

Once the Saints lieutenants had their roles they began making their preparations. Julius asked Playa and Pinkie to assist the others but also to take care to focus on one gang at a time because angering all three gangs at once was just asking for a war on three fronts and that was something that the Saints couldn’t afford.

With that, the duo were left with an important decision to make. They can go after the Carnales and deal with the ruthless Lopez family and their connections to the drug cartel, they can go after the Vice Kings and dismantle whatever operations that the enigmatic Benjamin King had going, or they can go after the Westside Rollerz to figure out what operations they had going and who was leading them.

Whichever one they chose, the campaigns against them were not going to be easy.

Bavogian Plaza

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Pinkie and Playa thought about which gang they wanted to target first. They could target the airport and industrial sections of Stillwater owned by Los Carnales. They could target Chinatown and the suburban sections owned by the Westside Rollerz. They could also target downtown Stillwater and the commercial districts owned by the Vice Kings.

Before they could make any decisions however, Julius informed the duo that while the reputation they gained was enough to help them reclaim the Row, that was all that that amount of respect would get them. Before any campaigns could be started against the rival gangs, Pinkie and Playa would need to go out and help more of the sympathizers of the Saints. Julius told the two that there were a couple of such associates in Bavogian Plaza which was west of Harrowgate and its neighboring district, Rebadeaux.

Julius gave them a map of Stillwater. The map had markings all over it to show various points of interest. “This map gives you the locations of anything you might need in Stillwater as well as those who might help spread the word about the Saints. Don’t let that fall into the wrong hands.” Pinkie stored the map in her mane before leaving the church.

Before they made the trip to the red light district, however, Playa decided to check out the Saints Row Loft that had been left to them by Julius. The building was small and run-down but it had all the necessities of home, except for food since Playa would likely be buying from some Freckle Bitch’s or wherever else food was served.

“Hey Pinkie, go check out that drawer in the kitchen and put the sharpest knife you can find in your mane,” Pinkamena requested.

“What? Why?” Pinkie responded.

“Because I want it for later and I’m too lazy to switch out just to grab a knife.”

Pinkie pursed her lips for a moment before shrugging, “Okie dokie lokie.” She granted her counterpart her request and stuffed the sharpest kitchen knife she could find, a butcher knife, in her mane.

Once both were done checking out the place, Pinkie and Playa headed back to the car and headed for their destination.

The drive to Bavogian Plaza was uneventful and only a couple of people were maimed by Playa’s horrible driving skills this time. The car was parked in an empty parking lot near the building they were supposed to enter.

When they entered, they noticed someone with a camera was taking photos of one of the workers of what Playa realized was a strip joint called Tee’N’Ay. Neither Pinkie or Pinkamena knew what a strip joint was due to Equestria’s cultural norm of optional clothing which rendered such places moot.

Pinkamena saw a stripper, who was only wearing underwear, pantyhose, high heels and pasties over her tits, try to work her charms on Playa while one of the club bouncers wrestled the camera out of the photographer’s hands. “No fuckin’ cameras!” he shouted at the paparazzi.

The paparazzi was thrown to the floor before the bouncer grabbed him by the shoulder. “Please. I-I-I thought-,” the cameraman simpered.

“You thought you’d come here to get a story, but let me tell you somethin’, that ain’t gonna happen. Now get the hell out.” The paparazzi was thrown towards the entrance.

The paparazzi got angry at the bouncer suddenly and started pointing his finger at him. “You’re gonna wish you never did that, when my lawyers get through-” Playa punched him in the face before Pinkamena quickly took over and bucked him out the door with her rear hooves before he landed on the ground again.

The bouncer, who was wearing black pants, gloves and a hat and wore a grey shirt that said “Security” on it, smirked at the duo. “Nice teamwork. Thanks for saving me the trouble. Name’s Bruno. We could use someone who’s got no love for the press. A bunch of big shots like to rent our girls for private parties…” That got Pinkie’s attention. “...and there’s nothing the media loves more than a sex scandal. If you can make sure our girls can do their job without the press catching on, we’ll pay you some serious cash. We’ll even spread word of the Saints among our customers.”

“Mena, I wanna do this one. Please, please please…,” Pinkie begged.

Of course, Pinkamena was going to let her counterpart handle the task anyway since she drives a lot better than Playa does. After switching again on the way to the car alongside one of the Tee’N’Ay workers, Pinkie gave Playa a look that told him to “get his ass into the passenger seat.” Playa wanted to complain but Pinkie gave him another look that warned him that Pinkamena would get mad if he didn’t listen to her. Playa slumped in defeat and got in the passenger side of the work vehicle. The stripper got in the back seat.

The stripper told Pinkie where she was to meet her client who was nearby so the party mare quickly stopped in the street near the client. The client was confused that there was what looked like a pony driving a car and the stripper affirmed what he saw.

Pinkie noticed a number of vans barreling toward them that had more of those cameras installed on them. “Don’t let them film me!” the client said.

“Okie dokie lokie,” Pinkie said as she pulled out a paintball gun from her mane and gave it to Playa who got the idea about what the mare wanted him to do.

The party mare continued to evade the news vans and Playa blinded a number of them with paintballs which caused some vans to swerve and crash into other cars and news vans or structures. The stripper finished up with her client who asked to be dropped off where he was at so he could find his own way home.

This process repeated itself several more times as more clients were pleasured and dropped off. Pinkie continued evading the news vans, even driving in ways that should have been difficult to pull off if not impossible. Playa continued to cause more accidents with the paintball gun. The party mare easily fulfilled special tasks given to her by the client and places that they wanted to be dropped off briefly were arrived at in impossible times that stunned everyone in the car. The passengers decided not to question it. Pinkie often had to return workers to the Tee’N’Ay and pick up a new one. Pinkamena felt like the workers could stand to have some endurance training if they got tired after two clients.

Once all of the clients were serviced for the day, Samantha, one of the strippers of the Tee’N’Ay, offered her services to the Saints beyond her workplace vocation.

Since the next Saints sympathizer was nearby in the same district Playa and Pinkie figured they might as well help the other person before heading back to the church to figure their next move.

Entering the building that was mentioned in the address, neither Playa or Pinkie were sure what kind of place they had entered. The lobby appeared to be of a theme of red, white and gold with some portraits and landscape paintings hung on the walls.

The duo suddenly heard the voice of an angry woman nearby. “Listen mutha fucka; if you come by here one more time, no, if you look at this fuckin’ building one more time, I will personally feed you all three inches of your cock. Do you hear me? Now get the fuck out!” She then shoved the man she was yelling at to emphasize her point.

She turned her attention to the duo. “Okay, one, this ain’t a petting zoo and this place ain’t the kinda place for that kinda fetish. Two, I don’t know what you want but whatever it is, I ain’t got it.”

“So what kind of place is this?” Pinkie asked.

The woman turned her attention back to mare again as if she just heard the weirdest thing ever. “You can talk?!” She shook her head. “Whatever, this place is a brothel hun. Unfortunately, some fuckin’ pimps from outta town have stolen most of my stable. Think you two can go bring my girls back? I’ll pay you well if you do.”

“This is just like that time with Will and us stealing hos from pimps, Pinkie. I’ll handle this,” Pinkamena said. Pinkie nodded to herself before she became Pinkamena again.

The woman raised her eyebrow at the change, “What happened to you?”

“Nevermind that. We’ll get your girls back and drive the pimps out of town...likely in body bags,” Pinkamena said with a wicked smirk.

The process was much the same as last time: kill pimps and deliver hos to the brothel. The task was only made more difficult not only because some of the pimps tried to drive away in cars, but also because Playa was driving. For the driving pimps, Pinkamena jumped into the pimp’s car and stabbed him in the throat with her kitchen knife. The hos ran screaming in terror before Playa whistled for them to come to him for delivery to the brothel. Another driving pimp was dealt with after Pinkamena stole the first pimp’s car and drove it beside her next victim. She leaped into his car, grabbed him by the head before slicing him in the jugular, which led to the same reaction among the hos.

The Vice Kings were not taking this lying down, however, as they acted to defend the pimps. Unfortunately, that only succeeded in increasing Pinkamena’s body count for the day as she either gunned them down or eviscerated them with her knife.

Once all the pimps were dealt with and the hos returned, the woman, who introduced herself as Vikki, gave them their cash reward and even let Playa have some pimp bling that was left behind in her brothel.

Feeling that the Saints reputation had been built up enough for the time being, the duo returned to the discussion about which gang they would move against first but Pinkamena had decided for them.

“We’re going after the Vice Kings first. We’ve already messed around in their territory quite a bit so we might as well remove them first. Besides, I wanna see if Johnny is as legit as his boasting.”

The two eventually made it back to the church but not without Playa’s driving angering the cops and the Vice Kings. Pinkamena had some travel entertainment because of it. Once they ditched their pursuers, the duo entered the church and into Johnny’s little war room.

“Take a seat,” he said, motioning to the chairs in front of him. Dex was standing next to Johnny who was sitting with his feet on the table before he put them down and got to business. Pinkamena noticed the posters behind Johnny, most featured one person named Aisha. She quickly returned her attention to Johnny who was now looking at her. “I heard what you two did in the red light district...well, mostly about what you did, Pinks. Driving like you did I couldn't even begin to fathom how that’s possible. And what you did to those VK and pimps was like a work of art. If you’re as legit as what I heard, you and me need to go on a killing spree sometime.”

Pinkamena smirked, “I’ll think about it.”

“Anyway, the Vice Kings are named after one guy: Benjamin King. That shit don't happen unless you’re a professional or a bad ass, and in King’s case, he’s both.” Johnny’s phone suddenly rang. “Hold up, I gotta take this.” His attention was focused on his phone call. From what Pinkamena picked up from the call it was someone named Aisha who might be the same one from the posters. Apparently she seemed frazzled given Johnny seemed to be trying to calm her over the phone. He asked where someone was located and that he would handle it.

“What’s up?” Dex asked.

“Some mother fucker’s grabbed Aisha’s sister right off the street,” Johnny responded.

‘“Shit man, that’s the sixth girl this month. We know who’s doing this?”

“Yeah, the Vice Kings.”

“No way man, kidnapping ain’t King’s style.”

“Maybe that slut Tanya is goin’ behind King’s back, don’t know, don’t fuckin’ care. Aisha said they were drivin’ a yellow sedan.” He turned to Playa and Pinkamena. “Tail those bitches back to wherever they go and get those girls back.”

Pinkie took over and made Playa sit in the passenger side of the nearest car they could grab. The mentioned yellow sedan turned down the street ahead of them and Pinkie was careful to avoid getting too close or too far from the sedan. Avoiding traffic also made the tailing go flawlessly.

The car was tailed to an abandoned warehouse in Rebadeaux. Pinkie and Playa saw Aisha’s sister being forced along inside.

Pinkamena took over and she and Playa made short work of the few warehouse defenders and found the missing girls locked in a room in the back. Playa knocked on the door.

“If you're not with them, the guy with the key went to Tee’N’Ay,” a voice inside the room said.

Pinkie had an idea on how to get the girls out without having to go after the pimp with the key so the mare switched minds again and Pinkie reached into her mane and pulled out a cupcake she borrowed from someone named Peter Griffin. Stuffing the pastry into the lock, the mechanism exploded a second later, busting the lock and freeing the girls.

By the time VK reinforcements arrived, Playa, Pinkie, and the missing girls, Aisha’s sister among them, were already too close to the church for them to pursue.

The Vice Kings also ended up giving up Bavogian Plaza to the Saints.

Fun With Car Bombs

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Once the kidnapped girls were secured somewhere in Saints territory, Playa and Pinkie returned to the church to see what else Johnny wanted them to do.

Once they arrived, they saw Johnny talking to a woman who was wearing a purple short top under a short purple jacket, black shorts, a baseball cap turned sideways and she was wearing jewelry on her wrists, neck and large, circular earrings that reminded Pinkie a little of her zebra friend, Zecora. The woman resembled the same person in Johnny’s posters so the mare figured that the woman was Aisha.

Johnny and Aisha were having an argument about something. Pinkie and Pinkamena had a feeling, based on the context, that the two of them had some sort of relationship in the past that was strained when Aisha chose fame over Johnny.

Pinkamena took over because she was getting bored with their spat. “Are you two done with your lover’s quarrel? I’d like to get back to the matter of the Vice Kings.”

Aisha scoffed, “He wishes this was that. He just can’t get over me after all this time.”

“Fuck you!” Johnny growled at Aisha.

Pinkamena slammed her hoof on the table with enough force to leave an imprint but not enough to break it even though she could. “Vice Kings! Now!”

“Alright, alright, sheesh,” Johnny said. “Meet Aisha, Saint’s Row’s claim to fame. And tonight we’re gonna kill her.”

Aisha quickly chimed in, “He’s being melodramatic. See, I’m signed with Kingdom Come Records.”

“And it’s no secret that the label is owned by the Vice Kings,” Johnny finished.

“But the real deal is that once you’re in, you can’t get out. They rip you off left and right, and they extort you to stay signed. Johnny said that you two might be willing to help me.”

“Eesh has a recording session in a few minutes. That’s when we make her disappear and give the Vice Kings a nice ‘fuck you’ while we’re at it. I want you two to take Aisha to her session, but on the way stop at the chop shop to have your ride loaded up with some C4. Park the car at the studio and get the hell outta there.” He turned to Aisha, “Make sure someone sees you before you jump out.

Pinkie was unsure about some of the things they were talking about and asked Pinkamena about what they were talking about. The psychotic mare responded, “Basically, we need to take a car to a place to have it illegally modified into a bomb then drive it and Aisha to her recording studio without blowing ourselves up on the way. The plan is to fake Aisha’s death and blow up one of King’s income sources.”

“What?! But what about the innocent people working at the studio?” Pinkie asked.

“We’re not heroes, Pinkie. In many ways, what we’re doing is no different than what the other gangs do. The Saints’ profits are generated from a fair amount of protection money generated from the citizens living in our territory. I’ve been going around murdering people and the Saints find it acceptable. You’re not without some criminal offenses yourself. You assisted with the murder of those gang members at Harrowgate. You evaded the cops which still counts as resisting arrest. You also aided in private prostitution transactions outside of a legally established sex institution by protecting the stripper and client during the service which I’m pretty sure is illegal. All we really did was choose a side in this gang war.”

Pinkie gasped at the revelation then became depressed. Pinkamena could feel the effects of her counterpart’s deepening sadness. “You mean I’m a...a bad pony?”

Pinkamena needed to say something quick before the choking sadness hinders herself as well. She would have to do something she very rarely does: she would have to show kindness. The psychotic mare took a deep breath and let it out before continuing. “No, Pinkie. You’re not a bad pony. You are doing illegal things for the right reasons. You like helping others and making them happy. That’s your thing: making everyone happy. You even try to make me happy even when I don’t deserve it.

“I’m the bad pony, Pinkie. I kill people who get in my way. I don’t do the whole ‘make friends with your enemies’ thing like you and your friends did with Nightmare Moon. If anything, I relate more to the Saints than I do with my own kind, unlike you. Unfortunately for you, you’re stuck with me.”

Despite the fact that neither personality could be in the mindscape at the same time as the other since someone needed to control the body, Pinkamena could somehow feel a warm hug from her energetic counterpart. She didn’t question it because if there was one thing she knew about Pinkie, she could do anything she set her mind to, even if she had to bend reality to do so.

“You’re not a bad pony either, Mena. You’re always doing bad things to protect me and the other Saints. It’s not Nightmare Moon evil where an eternal night would lead to withering crops and cause countless ponies to starve to death. There was good in her if you saw what happened with the Elements of Harmony and I know there’s good in you too. And that’s why I don’t think you’re a bad pony.” There was only silence as Playa, Aisha and Pinkamena entered Aisha’s car, with Playa driving. Pinkamena wanted to believe her counterpart, but she was still unsure.

Pinkie put on a hopeful smile, “So, are we friends?”

Pinkamena shook her head, “Not yet. I still have some lingering feelings about being imprisoned in our mind for ten years. Just be there for me and I may change my mind soon enough. In the meantime, I don’t mind if you keep calling me Mena.” Thankfully, that was enough of an explanation to satisfy her counterpart for the time being.

A couple of minutes into the drive, Pinkie had a question, “How did you end up imprisoned in my mind for ten years? I didn’t even know you were there,” Pinkie said.

“I’ll tell that story another time, when I’m ready,” Pinkamena responded before focusing their attention to the outside and realized that they were about to drive a car bomb through the city and Playa was at the wheel.

Aisha was asking Playa questions which were responded with silence, much to her growing frustration. She then asked Pinkamena a question, “So, where did you come from?”

“Take a wild guess,” Pinkamena responded.

“What, you about to tell me you come from a land of magical talking ponies or something?”

“Got it in one,” the madmare smirked.

Playa managed to drive the car into the garage of the nearby chop shop without damaging the car. The mechanic worked fast to install the explosives in the car and warned them that the explosives were unstable and they needed to drive carefully.

As they drove out of the garage, Pinkamena’s Pinkie Sense triggered the sensations that told her someone creepy was watching them. The mare looked around the area and noticed a parked vehicle behind them that was occupied by someone who was mumbling. She tapped Aisha on the shoulder and pointed at the car behind them, “Who’s that?”

Aisha and Playa looked in the direction and Aisha groaned, “Ugh, him again? That guy just won’t leave me alone.”

“I know how to ‘convince’ him,” Pinkamena said. Aisha and Playa looked back at the mare only to realize she had disappeared.

The stalker saw the target of his obsession driving out of a garage in front of him. He mumbled about how Aisha never returned his calls and couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t even show interest in him. He soon figured that if he couldn’t have her attention, nobody would. He turned on his car and prepared to ram the car in front of him and try to kill the guy driving his idol around.

That was when he heard a loud thump on his car’s hood. His front vision was briefly blinded by a shadowy figure that fell onto the road. While he would love to chase and smash Aisha’s car, his sense of curiosity overtook his obsession for the moment as he got out of his car and went to investigate.

Lying in the street was what looked like the unconscious form or corpse of some sort of horse-like creature. It was pink with a dark pink mane and tail with three balloons tattooed to her flank.

He hovered over the mare’s body and continued to look on with curiosity. His head was directly over the body as he knelt down to inspect it to find any markings that would indicate what zoo or lab the creature belonged to.

The stalker’s curiosity turned to horror in an instant as the creature yelled “Surprise!” His reaction was far too slow as he quickly discovered a kitchen knife inside of his head from under his chin and into his brain. His eyes bulged in fear and the realization that he was going to die.

Pinkamena yanked the knife from the man’s head and let him bleed out. Her maniacal smile was the last thing he saw before losing consciousness.

The mare giggled to herself before looking at the readers, “And that is Pinkamena Diane Pie’s secret recipe for Creepypasta. I’d like to thank Mister Creep here for volunteering to be the sauce…” She pointed to the stalker who was gurgling with his last breath while he was bleeding out. “...though I didn't have enough time to make the pasta since I’m on the clock. ”

With that brand of dark humor uttered, the psychotic mare walked back to the car bomb.

The rest of the way to Kingdom Come Records was mostly uneventful. One of the routes to downtown Stillwater was blocked by a fuel truck so Playa had to take the route east of the incident to get to where he was going. Thankfully the traffic was light for the current time of day so he managed to get the car to the studio without causing too much damage to the vehicle.

Aisha went inside the building to announce her presence to the staff there. The desk clerk contacted one of the main members of the Vice Kings to let him know that Aisha had arrived.

Aisha quickly ran out the back of the building just in time before a powerful explosion from outside the building caused it to take severe damage and caused fires to erupt from within. The building was left a smoldering ruin, leaving no survivors.

From a safe distance, Pinkamena and Playa observed the damage and admired the explosion it took to level the towering structure. Pinkamena whistled in awe, “I hope we can do more shit like that in the future.”

The duo hijacked the nearest car they could find and returned to the church. Aisha could find her own way back.

With the studio destroyed, the Vice Kings were forced to abandon Union Square to the Saints.

You Gotta Ragdoll

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After the incident that destroyed Kingdom Come Records, Pinkie and Playa took some time to relax at their loft near the church while getting some much needed sleep.

The next morning, Playa and Pinkie returned to the church to see what else they could do against the Vice Kings. Julius informed them that Sunnyvale Gardens, which was west of Bavogian Plaza, was ready to be taken by the Saints. “Some of Warren Williams’ crew are gonna be meeting to discuss getting in on the drug trade. We need to take them out to teach the Vice Kings why they shouldn’t fuck with our business.”

Pinkie wasn’t sure on the context of what he said but it implied that the Saints were already part of the drug trade. However, Pinkie and Pinkamena were curious about something else though. “I heard Benjamin King is the leader of the Vice Kings and I heard about Tanya and now Warren Williams. Who else is leading the Vice Kings?”

“I’ll let Johnny fill you in on that one. He’s the one in charge of the efforts against them after all.” With that, Julius walked away.

Pinkie pouted at Julius’ deflection but got over it quickly before pulling out the map from her mane. She convinced Pinkamena to let her choose the next thing to do and decided to find another Saints sympathizer to help. Choosing one at random, Pinkie’s hoof landed on one that was just east of Union Square in Adept Way in the Downtown District.

Pinkie let Playa have his sorely needed driving practice as they drove to Adept Way. The location on the map led them to an attorney’s office.

The duo entered the office to see the attorney in question. The man was wearing a black and yellow business suit and tie and a pair of glasses. He appeared to be in the middle of a call to a client. “How many times do I have to explain it to you Miss Jackson, do not walk around without wearing your neck brace. If someone catches you it could severely hurt our chances in court. Just remember: the whiplash has caused excruciating, chronic pain. You got that? Good. Have a good night Miss Jackson.” He hung up his phone and addressed his company. “What can i do for you young man? I am Legal Lee.” He shook Playa’s hand. “ Are you looking to put together a case? Before we can file a claim we need to find something wrong with you...you seem like an enterprising guy...I’m sure you can come up with something.” He then looked at Pinkie. “I’m sorry, I’m afraid I don’t do animal clients. The insurance companies give next to nothing for injuries done to non-humans.”

Pinkie snapped at Lee, “Hey! That’s racist!”

Lee raised his hands defensively. “It’s not my fault. It’s just how the legal system works. Even if you are sentient, the courts will use your non-human status against you. But I do know of a way you can help me out. I’ve heard rumors of your violent streak. I have a number of clients who have hefty health insurance policies. It would be fortunate for me if someone were to attack them in broad daylight. Don’t kill them of course since we still need them alive to collect on their insurance. I get my cut in legal fees and you get a cut of those legal fees.” Lee gives Pinkie a number of photos of his clients.

Since Lee’s task was violent, Pinkie let her counterpart handle the task.

Outside the office, Pinkamena and Playa set to their assigned tasks. Pinkamena saw her first victim that she identified from the photos. She ran up to the unfortunate soul from behind and sent him flying forward with an earth pony magic-charged headbutt. The victim hit the ground a few times before sliding across the ground. He managed to get up and showed he was now walking with a limp but that wasn’t enough for a big claim to his insurance company so she ran up beside him and sent him flying again with a buck into the street. He slammed into two cars mid-flight before landing on the sidewalk on the other side of the street sprawled out and looking ready for several months of hospital time.

Pinkamena noticed Playa was having a hard time receiving convincing injuries while he was playing in traffic. Either the cars were stopping before they hit him or he simply got hit while still protecting himself.

Pinkie had something to say so Pinkamena swapped to Pinkie who pulled out her megaphone and yelled, “What are you doing, Playa? You gotta ragdoll! You know, like that guy did.” She pointed to the horribly injured victim. “Just let yourself go limp before they hit you.”

Playa took Pinkie’s advice and attempted to ragdoll several times before he finally figured out how to do it. Pinkie switched back to Pinkamena and left her mute companion to his fun.

Meanwhile, Pinkamena had a list to complete. She found other people from the photos before she moved in to savagely beat them. At one point, she ripped a street sign from its base and beat their face with it until it was unrecognizable.

This went on until Lee was satisfied that Playa had built up a massive insurance claim and Pinkamena finished the list. Lee gave both of them a bulletproof vest to reduce the harm that bullets would do to them. While Pinkamena asked about full body coverage for the effect, Lee stated that only the SWAT teams have full coverage and he didn’t have that kind of equipment.

With the task done, Playa and Pinkamena decided to pay a visit to Sunnyvale gardens to evict some Vice Kings from a loft located there.

Their assault started when Playa and Pinkamena cleared out the yard outside of the loft. Playa dropped some VKs with his SMG while Pinkamena chose the shotgun she acquired somewhere. Once the yard was clear, the duo ran around to the other side of the loft and forced their way in and up a stairwell where they cleared the VK presence on the top floor.

Playa found a McManus sniper rifle on the ground and helped himself to it.

When he looked outside he saw a large number of Vice Kings entering the yard they just cleared out and he noticed that a good number of them had rocket launchers to blow him and his pink partner to kingdom come.

While Playa was busy trying to find an opportunity to snipe the small VK army, Pinkamena decided to turn the assault mission into a stealth mission by sneaking back into the yard. While the Vice Kings’ attention was on Playa, Pinkamena found an old decorated robe with a hood that was in her size as well as a pair of bracers with hidden blades within. She shrugged before putting on the robe and equipping the bracers. The assassin-dressed mare snuck around the yard grabbing goons by the neck and stabbing them in the back with the hidden blades while preventing them from screaming to draw the others’ attention, hiding the bodies afterward. As the sneaky mare’s stealth kills piled up, Playa had more opportunities to snipe more VK. One did notice Pinkamena sneaking around but was quickly silenced with a long range headshot.

The last of the VK leaders in the area were soon wiped out and the Saints laid claim to Sunnyvale Gardens. Pinkamena tossed the robe back into the dumpster because this wasn’t an Assassin’s Creed crossover but she did keep the hidden blades in case she had another fun idea involving them.

Pinkamena’s cell phone rang a minute later. She answered the call which was from Johnny who wanted her and Playa to meet him at the Freckle Bitch’s near the church to discuss their next move against the Vice Kings.

It took a few minutes and a drive through a Forgive and Forget, which Pinkamena was making Playa pay the full price and not splitting the bill, before the duo met with Johnny at the nearby Freckle Bitch’s.

Pinkamena and Playa walked in on Johnny and Aisha having another fight, this time it was about the location he chose for a dinner date. The mare, in the past, had let colts take her on dinner dates every so often though that was more to get a free meal and letting the colt pay before eventually telling him that things weren’t going to work out between them. The ones who got pushy ended up missing a few teeth. Her parents were often upset with her for the next week afterward.

Johnny noticed the two and was grateful for their timing to get him away from having to explain why he doesn’t take Aisha to fancy places to eat. The woman walked away in a huff.

“Whatever, she don’t appreciate fine dining,” Johnny said. “Now I’ve been talkin’ to Eesh’s sister. Turns out Tanya’s been fuckin’ people in every sense of the word. Not only is she blowin’ King’s bodyguard, Big Tony, but she’s fuckin’ Warren Williams, their numbers guy, whenever Tony ain’t lookin’. Between Tony and Warren the only person she isn’t leading around by their cock is King. so I’m thinkin’ we put the hurt on Tanya, we’re fuckin’ up the Vice Kings. She’s got an operation in Prawn Court, that’s where we’ll start. Roll in there and put the murder on anyone you see, customers included. Who wants to die for a blowjob right?”

Pinkamena placed a hoof on her chin, “Sounds to me like Tanya is putting herself in a position to overthrow King. I’m guessing King isn’t so easily manipulated and Tanya knows it so she might be planning to turn the Vice Kings against him the moment an opportunity presents itself. We keep fucking up his business and King will likely wind up dead before we get a shot at him.”

“You got a point there. I’ll bring the matter up with Julius; the two of them have history. In the meantime, you two got a whorehouse to clear out. Take out her hired help on the way.”

Playa ended up driving up to the first patrol and killed the driver with his SMG. Pinkamena decided to steal the now vacant car to go after one of the remaining two patrols while Playa went after the other.

While Pinkamena was not a very good driver, she was assisted by Pinkie subconsciously guiding her driving so they reached the fourth VK patrol without incident. Using the rocket launcher and ammo that was lying around after their trip to Sunnyvale, Pinkamena blew up the patrol car so they could get to the brothel at Prawn Court faster. Prawn Court was located south of Bagovian Plaza and Rebadeaux.

Pinkamena arrived two minutes before Playa did. She took the time to check her ammo and sensed Pinkie retreating to her isolated place in the mindspace to avoid seeing and hearing the coming bloodbath. In some ways she felt bad for her counterpart because they were in a world where murder and crime were commonplace.

Shaking her thoughts away, Pinkamena returned to the task at hand. Playa had just arrived and it was time to bloody the brothel. Playa charged into the alley to reach the back entrance, gunning down any VK with a hailstorm of bullets. Reaching the entrance, Playa kicked the door down and the duo began shooting at anyone wearing yellow. Pinkamena got up close and personal with a shotgun while doing her best to dodge retaliating fire when she could. Each private room opened revealed another Vice King thug having his or her sexual fantasies fulfilled. Some of the sex workers ended up killed in the crossfire which was unfortunate but it would teach the rest not to provide anymore service to the Vice Kings.

Control of Prawn Court changed hands within hours.

If the Saints didn’t have the attention of the Vice Kings before, they would have it now.

Pink Terror

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Pinkamena was actually impressed by how long it took the Vice Kings to react after the Saints had taken over Prawn Court and Tanya Winters’ precious brothel. Shortly after she and Playa left the slightly damaged brothel, Playa received a call from one of the lesser members of the gang to tell them that the Vice Kings were attempting to retake one of the districts that were taken from them.

While Pinkamena was itching to rip apart the Vice Kings who had the nerve to take back what she had taken from them, she had another problem to deal with: one from within.

“Menaaaaaa....I’m bored. Can we go find something else to do besides killing people?”

Pinkamena sighed, while she never liked feeling bored herself, she also wouldn’t let her other self suffer the same feeling. “Alright, one of the Saints’ allies is nearby in Shivington which is west of Prawn Court. We can leave Playa to handle the pushback stuff while we handle whatever this person wants.”

The madmare left Playa behind to find her own car to drive to Shivington. Meanwhile, Pinkamena received another call, which was from Johnny this time, saying that Monroe the Police Chief was putting pressure on the Saints and that she and Playa should lie low for the time being before some new information came up and he told her to head back to Prawn Court because the Vice Kings were trying to take back that place as well. For her counterpart, Pinkamena decided to ignore that order and let Playa handle Vice Kings for the time being. Just in case he didn’t get the last message, she called him to update him on the situation.

The marked location on their map brought them to a small pub on a street corner. Above the door was the name of the pub, “Sea Roses”. Pinkamena went in to meet the Saints’ latest source of reputation and ended up sitting next to a man with an orange leather jacket over a brown button-up and a white t-shirt underneath. He was also wearing a pair of glasses.

The man looked at the mare strangely, as if expecting something different or that he had had enough beer to drink for the rest of the day. After a minute the man finally spoke up, “I was expecting someone who looked...human.”

“We can’t always get what we want,” Pinkamena said. “What do you need?”

“If you’re the kind who can take out a line of witnesses then yeah, you can help me.”

Pinkamena smiled widely enough to be borderline creepy. The man had a feeling that he should take that as a ‘yes’. The man continued, “Name’s Marcel. One of my guys is in trouble and I need you to help. He’s got a big court case comin’ up and the prosecutor has a whole line of witnesses that could put him away...needless to say, that ain’t gonna happen. I got a list of all the witnesses and I’ll pay you for each one you can take out.” He gave Pinkamena eight photos of each of the witnesses as well as a weapon icon paperclipped to each which Pinkamena guessed was the method he wanted her to use to kill them. She was sure she could find a creative way to kill with each weapon anyway.

Pinkie took this time to pipe up, “Mena, this sounds like another ‘you’ activity. Let’s go find another one.”

Pinkamena had a question for Marcel before she left. “How long do I have to clear the list?”

“‘Bout a week or so before his trial so until then.”

With that, Pinkamena left the pub with the photos and drove to find another activity for Pinkie to do. An activity was found on the map to the west of Union Square in Downtown Stillwater called Filmore. This time her journey took her to a side street garage where they saw a man in a black tank top and having long black hair done up in dreadlocks. Pinkie took over before he noticed.

The man finished up the last touches to the car he was working on before addressing the pony, “Uhh...I was expecting some help for a job but can you even drive?”

“Yupperoonie,” Pinkie said enthusiastically and vigorously nodding.

The man somehow had a feeling that he could trust her with the job he had for her. “The name’s Samson and these are for you.” He handed her a number of photos. “Here’s a list of cars I need. Bring them to me and you’ll be makin’ some extra cheddar.”

“He means money,” Pinkamena clarified.

Samson continued, “Not all the ones on the list I can take as is. You’ll have to take the ones you steal to a Rim Jobs to have the necessary parts installed on them. I can’t simply get the parts myself because of my reputation. So what you say?”

“Okie dokie lokie,” Pinkie replied. As she left the garage, her phone rang. She answered it to find Johnny on the other line.

“Troy just got a tip that Tanya’s setting up shop in the old Sunnyvale police station. I talked to Julius, and he gave me the okay to go in with a crew. I’m headin’ back to the church to get strapped. Come over when you’re ready, but don’t wait too long, we got some murderin’ to do.” He hung up without waiting for a response.

Pinkie wasn’t sure whether or not Johnny would be angry about her not helping with Prawn Court but he didn’t seem that way. It was a relief for her in a way.

Despite Johnny’s request for them to not keep him waiting too long, Pinkie wandered around the Downtown area looking for cars on the chop shop list. To her good luck, she came across a Nelson and a Bulldog for her to give to Samson. Pinkamena had to take over to kill the drivers before Pinkie took both of them to a mechanic to get a Street Spoiler installed on the Nelson and for the Bulldog, a Luxury Body Kit and some Stylish Rims as the notes requested. She earned five thousand dollars for her troubles.

Before the pink mare left Downtown though, she spotted a Quota that was wanted by Samson. However, when Pinkamena took over to kill the driver, she went for overkill by blowing up the Quota and the meter maid inside with one of the RPGs she still had from Sunnyvale.

“What did you do that for?” Pinkie demanded.

“I recognized the meter maid in the photos. Said I needed to blow her up with an RPG,” Pinkamena responded.

“Couldn’t you have blown her up after I took the car?”

“That’s boring. The explosion wouldn’t have been as impressive if I did it like that.”

Pinkie pursed her lips but not for long as another meter maid drove another Quota nearby for the party mare to steal. After ejecting the meter maid, Pinkie drove the vehicle back to the chop shop, thankfully not stealing the vehicle while the police were looking. On the way, Pinkamena had Pinkie stick one of her pinata bats out the window over the sidewalk and drive next to the curb for a few seconds. Pinkie obeyed which resulted in a pedestrian getting his skull caved in by a fast moving bat.

“Louise: check, Marty: check,” Pinkamena said with a cackle.

“Hey! You made me kill someone,” Pinkie complained.

“Relax, Pinkie. Nobody in this city is going to go crazy over one random guy getting his brain batted all the way to the suburbs. He was on the list so we will even get paid for killing that guy. Besides, this isn’t Equestria anymore. There are no all powerful princesses ruling over this city; just a do-nothing government and an overworked police department who only go after you if you go on a killing spree or attack them directly.”

“That’s a really dark picture you’re painting, Mena.”

“This is where that creature sent us. Here, we’re either predator or prey and, to reiterate, there are no all powerful princesses to protect us.”

The rest of the trip to the chop shop was spent in silence.

On the way back to the church, Pinkamena had some more fun. Of the people on the hit list, she found Dick, who she did some impromptu surgery upon with her kitchen knife and didn’t bother to close the gaping wound she left. She found Richard, who she dismembered before she shot him in every non-vital area and let him bleed out.

She found Henry, who was riding a limousine. She fired her party cannon at the driver who panicked and crashed the limo into a post. Henry climbed out just to have his face made unrecognizable by a storm of SMG bullets.

When she found Billy Bob, she decided to confront him by wearing a purple bandanna around her neck and a stetson much like the one Applejack wore as well as bearing a wicked smirk. She pointed a 12 Gauge shotgun at the frightened man before speaking, “Well Billy Bob, looks like you done earned yerself a shotgun weddin’. And I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout no woman.” At point blank range, the force from the shotgun sent him flying into the street where some careless driver made sure the job was finished.

The last one Pinkamena found in the Downtown area was Hank who suffered immolation by a flying burning bottle of whiskey hitting his face because he kept his window open in his delivery truck.

Without any more targets for either facet of the pink pony to deal with for the time being, Pinkie returned to the church to prepare for the attack on the abandoned police station in Sunnyvale.

Playa was waiting for the pink pony to arrive before the two of them entered Johnny’s war room. The man in question was deciding on which weapon to bring with him to the raid on the old police station. Once he finally decided on a VICE 9 pistol, a Tombstone shotgun and a switchblade, the three of them made their way to the police station where the crew was poised to take it.

It didn’t take long to clear out the entrance before Playa and Johnny charged in. Before Pinkamena could join them, Pinkie warned her that her Pinkie Sense was sensing a trap and that she should hang back. As much as she would have liked to get in on the action, Pinkamena knew her counterpart was better with Pinkie Sense than her so she listened and followed the trail of corpses to a room with only one door where she saw Playa on the floor and Johnny with his shotgun on the floor and his pistol in Tanya’s hands. There was also a muscular-looking person holding his own shotgun to Johnny’s back. If what the mare heard about the VK leadership was true then the man had to be Big Tony. Pinkamena thought the name appropriate.

“Do yourself a favor, and stay down and shut the fuck up,” Anthony said. “You 3rd Street mothafuckas think you so smart. Well check this out, we ain’t impressed. Hell, the only reason you got as far as you did was ‘cause King let you. We led you right to where we wanted you, and now the police are gonna finish your ass for good, just the way we planned.”

“Well, that explains how your bitch lost Prawn Court,” Johnny snarked.

“Are you gonna let him talk about me like-” Tanya complained. Anthony quickly reassured her that he could handle it.

“Yeah Tanya, shut the fuck up,” Johnny said.

“I thought I told you to be quiet,” Anthony said.

“I got shitty hearing.”

Anthony’s patience with Johnny’s mouth ran out as he shot the snarky Saint in the knee. The pain Johnny felt was intense as he screamed in agony.

“Now you got a shitty leg.”

Johnny replied to Anthony’s attack with a switchblade in the bodyguard’s left foot. “So do you.”

Before Johnny could get up to grapple with Anthony, the bodyguard screamed even louder than when the switchblade stabbed his foot as his right calf was impaled by a kitchen knife that was thrown from outside the room. Tanya pointed her pistol at the entryway expecting something to come through at any moment but no one came. When she looked out the doorway she saw no evidence that anyone was there.

Anthony used the adrenaline rush he gained from the mysterious attack to punch Johnny hard enough to knock him out. Playa got up to attack Anthony but he was thrown out of the room and fell down the stairs. He then pulled the knife out of his leg and threw it toward the doorway.

“Baby, let’s get out of here. Now!” Tanya said, her voice not hiding fear.

“But what about-”

“Something doesn’t feel right. Like if we don’t get out of here now, we ain’t gonna.”

“Fine, just let me-” Anthony attempted to pick up Johnny only to drop him as he experienced pain beyond what any mortal should ever experience as he looked down and saw the same kitchen knife that he had removed from his leg before was now stuck in one of his testacles and nearly slicing his dick in half. Unlike before, this time there was a dull pink hoof holding the knife. Sitting behind the poor man was a dull pink pony with a long dark pink mane and tail and a maniacal grin that would make the Cheshire Cat from the Lewis Carroll story jealous.

While Anthony howled in agony at a soprano’s pitch, the insane pink pony pulled the knife free, leaving the wound to spray blood and Anthony desperately clutching the wound in vain. She shook some of the blood from the knife before speaking, “Guess you won’t be fucking that anymore. Too bad, but I’ve seen bigger.”

It was at that point that Tanya’s panic levels peaked and she jumped out of the nearest window. She landed on a dumpster but was still well enough to sprint back to her car and drive as far as she could from the nightmare that she could never erase from her mind.

With Tanya gone, Pinkamena checked on Johnny and Playa. Thankfully, Johnny was only knocked out and Playa managed to avoid any major injuries from his tumble down the stairs. The psychotic mare dragged Johnny away from the growing pool of blood that Anthony was making from his gushing wound and set him beside Playa at the bottom of the stairs. She then went back to Anthony and picked up one of the shotguns off the floor and blasted Anthony in the head to put him out of his misery. To capture the moment, she pulled out a camera from her mane and took a photo of Anthony’s corpse.

A few minutes later, Johnny woke up groaning, “Ugh...haven’t felt this bad since that one time I went binge drinkin’. Not to mention I thought I heard a tone deaf little girl try singin’ the shittiest opera ever. What happened?”

“Basically, you and Playa got knocked out by Tony and I killed him,” Pinkamena reported. “Oh and Tanya escaped.”

“Well, at least we got one of the bastards. Still, there’s not too many places for Tanya to hide out. She might end up hiding out at Anthony’s condo. Once I get a brace for this shitty leg, I’ll join you in takin’ her out. In the meantime, why don’t you two find a couple of the Vice Kings strongholds and send King a nice ‘fuck you’ for all the trouble his bitch is puttin’ us through.”

Pinkamena couldn’t disagree with that but for the time being, they needed to get off the streets. She woke Playa up and had him help Johnny to his car. Pinkie took over and drove the group back to the church, avoiding the police’s efforts to stop her.

Chasing Tanya

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Nighttime in Stillwater was a perfect time for people who wanted to commit their crimes in anonymity while under the cover of darkness; especially in some alleyway where people would struggle to recognize your face.

One street hustler was going to make one last hustle for the night before turning in. He had to testify against someone in court in a few days and he had heard that all of the other witnesses had been murdered. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know that someone was out there hunting for all of the witnesses and he was likely to be next.

After one last hustle, he was going to go into hiding until the trial when the police could escort him to the courthouse. Once the trial was over, the hunter would have no reason to go after him anymore.

The hustler spotted one of the strangest things he had ever seen in Stillwater: a pink pony and a man who obviously belonged to the Third Street Saints, given his purple clothing. Something exotic like the pony might fetch him a hefty sum from the right buyers.

The hustler approached the two and gave his friendliest greeting, “Hello there, would you be willing to sell me that pony? I’ll give you fifteen hundred for it.”

The man looked at the pony who shook its head for some reason and made a strange motion as if to say the hustler should raise the offer, so he did. “Okay, two thousand.” The pony nodded and the man accepted the money before the hustler nudged the pony into the alley.

The hustler was proud of himself for such a ‘sale’ since he paid for the pony in counterfeit money but he would be long gone before he realized that.

The click of a gun sent alarm bells through his mind as he knew someone was pointing a gun at him. In response, he raised his arms as he waited for his robber’s demands. The voice came as a high-pitched feminine voice, “Well Don, looks like you’re the last one on the list. Any last words?” Despair filled Don as he realized that he was now in the presence of the hunter who killed the other witnesses.

“How did you know it was me?” he asked. “I was so careful.”

“I saw the hitman icon on my minimap.” Before Don could question the logic of his assassin, a loud bang was heard followed by a sharp but very brief pain as death quickly claimed his soul.

Pinkamena blew the smoke from her pistol before putting it back in her mane. With the last of the witnesses dead, it was time to call up Marcel and claim her reward: a shiny Platinum T3K Urban SMG.

Since they had some free time, Pinkamena searched around the city for the vehicles that were wanted by Samson. After hours of searching, Pinkie found three of the vehicles from her list: a Keystone, a Nordberg, and a Mag. They were unattended and Pinkie managed to hotwire them and drove them each to the mechanic before she gave them to Samson.

The Cavallaro that was needed for the list was more difficult to obtain because most of the ones in the city had been bought by Los Carnales. To get one, Pinkamena had to take over and start shooting at Carnales members in the street until someone sent one of the needed cars their way. After a few minutes of murdering people in red shirts, some of whom were civilians who decided to wear red at the time, a Cavallaro came and Pinkamena took the opportunity to shoot the driver before getting in the car and letting Pinkie drive it to Samson, Carnales hot on their trail. By the time Pinkie reached the garage, the gang had given up the chase.

The last car was going to be tricky because the only time the last vehicle ever showed up was when the law enforcement was extremely pissed off. To this end, Pinkie drove downtown before finding a pay phone and placing a false anonymous tip to the FBI about an imminent terrorist attack in Stillwater around her location. It wasn’t long before her area was visited by several FBI vehicles. The agents who drove them left their vehicles to investigate the potential threat. After an hour of fruitless searching, the agents were about to give up and go back home before someone finally discovered one of their vehicles was missing. The agents tried activating the tracker on the missing vehicle only for there to be no signal from the tracker which meant that the vehicle was either in a place that blocked signals or the tracker was destroyed. With no other means to find the missing vehicle, the FBI agents went back home humiliated.

As Pinkie was exiting the garage, her phone rang. She answered it to find that Julius was going to give her next orders. “Pinkie, are you near Filmore?”

“Yuppers!”

“Good. I’m sendin’ Playa your way. A bunch of King’s bookies are meeting at a parking garage to discuss rigging games. I lost a lot of money because of them. Don’t let any of ‘em walk away from the meeting. No one fucks with my hockey game…”

Pinkamena couldn't help but laugh to herself and Pinkie had to agree with the sentiment that this mission seemed a bit personal to Julius who failed to hide how salty he was about losing a bet on a hockey game, even if the game was rigged against him. Still, the mare and the mute had their orders and another piece of the city to take from the Vice Kings.

Once Playa had finally arrived, and left because he pissed off the cops again with his driving, Pinkamena took over and let out a deep sigh before she pulled out a grappling claw and put on a black stealth suit. She hurled the grappling claw at the roof of the parking garage and began climbing as silently as she could. The madmare expected Playa to quickly return and start shooting at the VK in the lower levels of the parking garage and work his way up. Meanwhile Pinkamena had some scouting to do on the top floor.

At the top of the parking garage, Pinkamena saw some Vice King leaders having a discussion near their car. She also noticed a ramp that was placed so whoever drove off the garage could make a quick getaway if their meeting was interrupted.

To make sure that didn’t happen, Pinkamena snuck over to the ramp and pulled out one of Pinkie’s party mines that she installs in ponies’ entryways to give her surprise parties more ‘Surprise!’. She overcharged the mine so it would have an effect on vehicles before she set it in place.

As if on cue, a roar of gunfire could be heard from the lower levels of the parking garage which informed the mare that Playa was attacking the Vice Kings from below. She returned to the grapple and climbed down the rope back to the bottom floor as she let Playa have his fun before she had her’s.

It wasn’t long before Playa made it to the top floor of the parking garage, ready to take down the last of the VK. One quickly got into his car and drove for the ramp in an effort to escape his assailant. Just as the car was climbing the small ramp, an explosion occurred directly below the vehicle as it was launched into the distance and crashed into the Kingdom Come Records reconstruction site.

The building itself was outfitted with a number of explosives that were put there by Pinkamena. The mare pushed the plunger that set off the explosives and caused the entire building to collapse again, burying the last of the game-rigging crew in tons of rubble.

Gaining Filmore put the Saints one step closer to throwing the Vice Kings out of the city.

Julius wanted Pinkamena and Playa to reclaim the old police station in Shivington, the same place where Johnny nearly got caught. Apparently, one of their members was being held captive there and Julius wanted the Saint broken out. Playa was not looking forward to going back there after what happened to him and Johnny. Neither of them knew what went down after Anthony knocked them unconscious and Pinkamena preferred to keep it that way.

When they got inside, both were surprised that there was little resistance. The madmare could sense the fear in the air which told her that Tanya might have spread rumors about a monster in the abandoned police station.

And she was going to take advantage of that.

“Hey Playa, why don’t you go wait at the entrance. I wanna try something that I can only do here,” Pinkamena said. Playa shrugged and obeyed her request since he would prefer being elsewhere at the moment anyway.

With her partner out of the way, Pinkamena began stalking the hallways, looking for Vice Kings to catch alone. Her first victim was busy relieving himself on a wall. With no one else around, the mare snuck up behind the thug and turned his blissful ignorance of his situation to one of horror as his right shoulder was stabbed by a kitchen knife. Before he could move his left hand to the knife, the mare jumped over him and around to slice his torso from right shoulder to left hip, leaving a massive opening in his gut.

The thug let out a loud agonized scream that would soon send more VK running into the room. By the time reinforcements got there, along with the pimp who led them, all they saw was an eviscerated corpse with his dick hanging out.

“What the fuck!?” one of the VK said. “Was the rumor Tanya was spreading around true?”

“You mean the one about this station being haunted by some monstrous creature?” another VK said.

“Nope,” said a voice behind the group. Everyone turned around to see a dark pink pony with two SMGs, one in each forehoof, pointed at them. The VK had next to no time to react as their position was met with a hailstorm of bullets which dropped the group in seconds.

“Rule one of a horror scenario: Don’t leave the group for any reason, even if you have to take a piss,” Pinkamena said to the corpses. “Rule one of combat: Always make sure someone is covering the rear.” The mare shook her head in disappointment and proceeded to the cells downstairs where the Saint was being held.

The two VK who were pummeling on their prisoner paused their interrogation when they heard gunfire coming from upstairs. They pulled out their pistols and left their prisoner on the floor while they investigated.

The creepy sound of a high-pitched giggle rang in their ears as they looked all around the corridor for the source of it, only to find nothing. Turning a corner, the one direction they didn’t look was down or they would have noticed the pink pony with a shotgun pointed at them before they were blown back by a wall of buckshot.

With the VK cleared out, Pinkamena helped the prisoner to his feet and the two of them, along with another prisoner found along the way, left the police station.

Knowledge of the crew being wiped out had only fanned the flames that Tanya’s rumor started and motivated the Vice Kings out of Shivington.

Pinkamena and Playa received a call from Johnny to tell them that he was ready to get back into the fight and that they were to pick him up and take him to Anthony’s condo at Atlantis Avenue which was a small neighborhood along the northern coastline. Their target was Tanya, who had proven elusive for the past few attempts to eliminate her.

Thankfully, Pinkamena knew where Anthony lived because she looted his wallet and found his address: 707 Springfield.

The drive to the condo was uneventful but once they got there, they noticed a number of Vice Kings moving crates out of the condo which indicated that Anthony was keeping something interesting there. Playa, Johnny, and Pinkamena began dropping the VK who were transporting boxes and discovered that Anthony kept a pretty heavy arsenal. This motivated the trio to work harder to secure the condo. The defenders never stood a chance against their firepower.

Unfortunately, Tanya was elsewhere when the attack happened, Johnny figured she was with Warren sucking his cock since Anthony was out of the picture. Out of frustration, Johnny emptied an entire magazine of pistol rounds in the nearest dead VK he saw before throwing his pistol at him. “Much as I wish that were Tanya, I do feel a little better. That bitch won’t be slippin’ away much longer; even if we have to kill King to get to her. Anyway, I’ll have some of our boys roll on over and bring the hardware back to the crib.”

With Anthony’s property seized by the Saints, it was time to take out one of King’s biggest assets: his connections to the police.

Framework

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After the saints claimed Atlantic Avenue and everything that Anthony left behind in this world, Pinkamena decided to take some time away from the violence to watch her counterpart have some fun with cars.

The mare wandered into the suburbs west of Filmore and into Rollerz territory. There she found a man who was complaining that he couldn’t get a job as a truck driver when he was younger because the company wouldn’t hire kids from the ghetto. So he decided that he would start his own business and drive his competitors out of business by hijacking some of their shipments.

For some reason, instead of hijacking shipments, the man, Sam, wanted her to hijack cars. Neither Pinkie or Pinkamena were sure what stealing other people’s cars had to do with stealing from his competitors but as long as they were getting paid, it didn’t really matter.

Pinkie hijacked three of the Vice Kings’ cars by getting one of the Saints to ride along with her as she drove to the specified targets. Once she jumped on their cars, she frightened them into stopping their vehicles and started shooting at her which led to Pinkamena switching in and dropping them with her shiny SMG. Pinkie switched back in to deliver the cars.

The next four were easier to deal with even if they were more distant from Sam’s garage. All she had to do was jump on their cars and spook them out of their cars since an insane pony on the hood of their moving car was terrifying enough. Thankfully, Pinkie was using plungers to keep on the hood when the drivers hit the brakes.

The last vehicle was a little more tricky because like Samson, Sam wanted an FBI vehicle and there was no way the same trick was going to work twice on these federal agents. Instead, once she found her target, Pinkie drove up to the vehicle and splattered a cupcake on their front windshield which ended up with the agents using their windshield wipers and wiper fluid to clear off the mess though it did slow them down somewhat.

Pinkie pursed her lips before coming up with another idea. She had her accompanying crew member take the wheel and had them drive beside the vehicle and close to it. Pinkie knocked on the driver side door which ended up with the driver lowering his window to address the pony.

“Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie,” Pinkie said before holding up one of her party bombs. “And this is a party bomb.” She tossed the bomb into the vehicle which caused the agents to panic and hit the brakes hard before bailing from the vehicle and taking cover.

What the agents didn’t know was that the timer of the bomb wasn’t set and there wasn’t going to be an explosion. By the time they realized that, the vehicle was long gone and the two agents slumped over in defeat. “Two vehicles in one week...we are so fired,” one agent said.

“Maybe we can find some work in Steelport. I heard the Mayor was looking to beef up his police force,” the other agent suggested.

Meanwhile, Pinkie managed to get away with another FBI vehicle and gave it to Sam, completing his list. She was paid in cash and jewelry that neither part of her were interested in but figured Playa might want it since he seemed into it.

Pinkie and Playa were told to meet Johnny and Dex at a thrift store in Harrowgate. Once they got there, the duo noticed Johnny in an argument with Dex about their next plan for the Vice Kings.

“Dex, don’t worry, I have a plan,” Johnny said.

“Johnny, your idea of a plan is taking the biggest hammer you can find and smashing whatever’s in your way.”

“Well that sounds like a plan to me.”

“Yeah, a shitty one, as your whack ass robo-leg clearly proves.” Dex indicated Johnny’s leg brace.

“Oh, fuck you.”

“Next time you try that cowboy shit, you might not walk away at all.”

“No, seriously, fuck you,” Johnny said, unable to hide his irritation with his fellow Saint.

Pinkamena sighed with an eye roll, “Why don’t you both shut the fuck up. Dex, you’re not gonna get through to Johnny by acting like his mommy. Johnny, while Dex has a point, this pointless argument is just going to waste time when we could be spending it planning our next move against the Vice Kings.”

“Fine,” Johnny conceded. “So what’s the plan?”

“Put these on.” Dex tossed Johnny and Playa each a yellow hoodie.

“I’m yellow enough as it is, Dex.”

“Hear me out, alright? King’s obviously got somethin’ goin’ on with the police, I’ll figure that shit out. In the meantime I want you two to go out and cause some havoc. If we can turn the public’s eye to the Kings then the police won’t have a choice but to come down on them. Unfortunately, you can’t join them, Pinkamena. Even if we paint you yellow, word already got out about a pony workin’ with the Saints. If they see you causin’ havoc with ‘em, King can easily explain away our attempts to frame him.”

Pinkamena grumbled because she knew that Dex had a point. She would need to find something else to do in the meantime.

“Actually, Julius did inform me of a matter that you could investigate while we wait for Johnny and Playa to finish having their fun. There’s a grocery store in Huntersfield, just west of Atlantic Avenue, that a lot of VK have been goin’ in and out of. Go check it out and, if you can, clear ‘em out.”

Pinkamena decided to do just that. Unlike the parking garage and the old police station, this mission was fairly straightforward without her needing to do anything extra.

However, Pinkie decided to try her hoof at clearing out the grocery store by throwing a surprise party inside the store. She did so by putting on a yellow ninja suit, which confused the lesser gang members. Since nobody told them anything they assumed she was a new member. Once she was in the store, Pinkie quickly set up decorations and music in the blink of an eye. Once the music started, the entire VK crew entered the store to investigate and found a party being thrown. Pinkie provided everyone with quality beer from the local Brown Baggers that got every defender in the store drunk.

Once the VK were drunk, Pinkie installed purple lights throughout the room and exited the store before turning them on. With their judgements impaired by alcohol, the VK believed that they were under attack by the Saints and started firing on each other. The roar of gunfire went on for a few minutes until the sounds of fighting finally died down. Pinkie carefully entered the store to see if there were any survivors. She took a count before the fighting started and she counted again to make sure the body count matched the previous count. It did.

With the store cleared, Pinkie called Dex to let him know her mission was accomplished. Dex replied that he would send a crew to secure the store and whatever the VK were keeping in there.

“I have to say, Pinkie, that may have been one of the best parties I have ever seen you throw, by my standards,” Pinkamena stated.

Pinkie sensed something in what her counterpart said, “What do you mean by that?”

“Exactly what I mean. In the past, your parties have always been meant for foals. It’s like the adults of Ponyville have forgotten what a real party was. In fact, if you threw more parties like the one you just threw, minus the killing of course, ponies like Berry Punch could make a killing off your parties from the booze sales.”

Pinkie grit her teeth until she finally snapped, “Mena, I throw my parties so I can see the smiles on everypony’s faces, not to provide a means of profit for other ponies. I did what I did back there because those meanies would have tried to kill us. Besides, alcohol only hides the sadness that they feel which makes it harder for me to know what makes them sad. I know you’re sad too. I can tell you hide your sadness behind the violence and murder. Why are you so sad, Mena?”

This time it was Pinkamena’s turn to grit her teeth. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she said using every ounce of willpower to not snap at the emotionally fragile party pony.

“But-” was all Pinkie managed to say before she felt Pinkamena’s ominous aura that expressed a sense of finality to let her know that the conversation was over.

Unfortunately, Pinkie finished the mission too quickly while Playa and Johnny were busy pissing off the police and blaming it all on the Vice Kings. With that in mind, Pinkie had to look around for something else to do.

The nearest contact for the Saints was located in a nightclub at Nob Hill which was in the center of the northern island. The nightclub, $tock$, was run by an elderly woman who introduced herself as Mary.

“I heard about the Saints recruiting a strange creature but are you sure you are capable of fulfilling my request?” Mary asked.

“I think so, what do you need help with?” Pinkie asked with uncertainty in her voice.

Mary hummed, “You don’t sound too sure, but I suppose there’s no harm in telling you. My ex husband didn’t want me to have the club, so naturally I took it. Now that we’re divorced Nathaniel thinks he can run off with my trollop of a sister. Sadly for my ex, that isn’t the case. Nathaniel owes me thousands of dollars in alimony, and I intend to collect. Until he pays me, I want you to go and destroy as many of his holdings as you can...the more you hurt him, the sooner he’ll pay.”

“A destructive rampage? This old lady really speaks to me,” Pinkamena said with a bit of cheer.

Once she left the nightclub, Pinkamena switched in and drove over to the first area where Mary’s ex held property. Once she was in a population-dense area, Pinkamena brought out an RPG Launcher and started firing at anything within her sight. People, cars, fencing, fire hydrants; anything within her sight was blown up by rockets. When she whipped her mane, grenades and molotov cocktails flew outward, creating a storm of fire and explosions around her.

Once she ran out of things to blow up, Pinkamena went to the next area to destroy more property. Each area she visited was greeted with a symphony of fire and explosions as the mare became an avatar of destruction.

At the same time, her actions were also cathartic as she felt her earlier frustrations melt away by the flames she created.

Soon, the police became involved and started arriving on the scene of the chaos. Pinkamena would not allow the cops to interrupt her fun so even they became a part of the madmare’s artwork of flames.

Once she had finally had her fill of destruction, Pinkamena headed back to the nightclub for her reward. On the way there, she decided to have a talk with Pinkie. She at least deserved to know why she was upset.

“Hey, Pinkie?”

“Yes, Mena?”

“I’m willing to tell you why I’m upset, but you’re not gonna like it.”

Pinkie paused for a few moments as she mentally prepared herself because she had a feeling that she knew what made her counterpart upset. “Okay, I’m all ears.”

Pinkamena took a deep breath and let it out before she was fully prepared to say it. “First of all, I am the original owner of this body. I grew up with our parents on the rock farm. I am the one with all of the foalhood memories because I am the one who experienced them.

“You are a creation of harmony magic that came about as a result of the wave of rainbow-colored energy from ten years ago.”

“You mean Dashie’s Sonic Rainboom?” Pinkie asked.

“Yes, now please don’t interrupt. When the event occurred, I ended up chained to the back of my own mind while you were the one who took over my life while I was forced to watch. Heh, guess harmony itself hated my own chaotic nature.”

“So why are you so chaotic?’

Pinkamena shrugged, “Blame my upbringing I guess. Believe it or not Pinkie, Our parents actually spoiled you compared to me. They probably saw you as their chance to make up for the mistakes they made while raising me.

“I’m sure you wanna know how our parents raised me.” Pinkie nodded. “Well, our parents were very strict with me because they intended for me to inherit the rock farm. They were harder on me than my sisters because they needed someone to run the farm when they were gone. They tried with Maud once but she was determined in her scholarly pursuits. She smashed half the house when our parents tried to take her books away.”

Pinkie giggled, “Yeah, Maud told me about that. She would let nothing and nopony get in the way of her studies.”

“Limestone, at one time, had her own hopes and dreams that she wanted to pursue. She wanted to open her own fruit juice business. She probably would have if I had actually chosen to inherit the farm. She still holds a grudge against me because she blames me for her inability to pursue her desires.”

“Finally, Marble was outright rejected because our parents couldn’t get her to stop behaving like that shy friend of yours. She never did tell us how she got like that.

“In my refusal to acquiesce to our parents’ wishes, I began rebelling against them. I was travelling long distances from home to attend nightclubs, drink hard cider while I was underage, or get caught up in the occasional bar fights. I wanted my parents to know that I wasn’t gonna be their good little obedient filly.

“Then one night, I was at another nightclub having cider while bribing the barkeep to look the other way. Some drunken stallion wanted to have his way with me. I refused at first but then he started getting pushy to the point where my frustrations over our parents boiled over and I made a makeshift shiv from a broken bottle. That stallion was the first living thing I murdered. When his buddies were particularly vengeful, they suffered the same fate. After paying for the drink, I left on the first train out of town before I eventually made it back home.

“Then the next day, the Sonic Rainboom occurred and I was imprisoned without any way to contact the world outside my own mind. I was forced to watch ten years go by through your eyes as you got to have the life I always wanted: one free of the expectations of our parents, free to choose your own destiny...a choice I was never given.

“What it all comes down to, Pinkie Pie, is that I envy you. I envy your freedom, I envy that you have friends, I envy that you have an entire town who cares about you. My sisters go out of their way to protect you when they are able. I never even got my cutie mark and you got yours the first few minutes after you were born just by throwing our parents a party.”

“Mena...” Pinkie said, taken aback.

Pinkamena wiped away the tears that were forming and quickly changed the subject, “Enough. We’re here. Let’s collect our reward and get back to Johnny and Dex.”

At the nightclub, Mary had just received her alimony and was pleased. As a reward, Mary provided the Saints with a steady supply of hand grenades.

Pinkamena returned to Harrowgate and was led to the meeting by Playa. Dex unfolded a map of the northern half of Stillwater with a series of yellow circles at several locations.

“Okay, it looks like the cops have been getting in on some of King’s protection rackets, that’s why they’ve been goin’ so easy on the VKs. We gotta go public with this shit.’”

“That won’t do any good, Dex,” Pinkamena pointed out. “Even if we told the public, do you honestly expect them to believe some street gang while the Mayor still trusts King?”

“Okay, so what do you have in mind?” Dex asked.

“How about something subtle,” Johnny said, carrying a military grade crate and dropping it on Dex’s map.

Dex opened the crate to reveal a number of RPG launchers. Dex was taken aback by what Johnny was suggesting. “Johnny, you can’t be serious.”

When Pinkamena saw the weapons, she smiled wider than what should have been natural. “This’ll work. We can head to the places where the VKs and the cops are making their deals and disrupt them in a way that will draw the attention of everyone in the area. When people notice VK and police getting blown up together, people are gonna wonder why they were together in the first place and it’ll force Monroe to crack down on the VK just to save face.”

“Well, that’s one way of getting the word out.” Dex said.

“That’s what I was thinkin’ too, though with fewer words,” Johnny said. “I’ll drive to where the cops are picking up protection money. Playa and Pinks can do what they do best once we’re there.” Johnny got into the driver’s seat of the Cavallaro they were borrowing for the mission. Playa took shotgun while Pinkamena had the entire backseat to herself.

On the way, Johnny decided to have some guy talk with Playa about how Aisha complained that he doesn’t do anything nice for her. As she heard more about the singer, Pinkie got the feeling that Aisha had a few things in common with Rarity, at least in the sense that both love the expensive VIP treatment, especially with how Rarity continued to fawn over Prince Blueblood even though they had never met.

Johnny was quickly driving up to the first meeting and his lack of attention to the brake meant that he was going to charge into the meeting. Acting quickly, Pinkamena fired a rocket into the area, sending VK and cops flying and blowing up the VK car. Once Johnny was in the middle of the area and started driving away, Playa fired a rocket at the police car to eliminate a pursuer.

The next meeting area was at a gas station. When her Pinkie sense warned her of a large explosion, she told Johnny to go around so they wouldn’t get the car fucked up. She started by firing her SMG at one of the gas pumps to cause gasoline to spray from it and Playa followed up with a grenade that exploded in the growing fuel puddle, causing a chain of explosions that obliterated the gas station and everyone there.

The third meeting spot was simply blown up by a synchronized pair of RPGs that took out both cars and everyone nearby.

The last two meeting spots were dealt with in a more interesting manner. As Johnny drove by the areas, the VK and cops each had a cupcake stuffed in their mouths before their heads exploded.

Once the meeting areas were dealt with, Johnny drove a moderate distance to the nearest Forgive and Forget. On the way, Pinkamena pulled out her party cannon and blew up any pursuers. Johnny had no problem getting to the Forgive and Forget.

Once the VK and police left them alone, there was one last thing to do before calling it a day. Johnny drove up to the construction site that was once Kingdom Come Records before a car bomb blew it up and once more by Pinkamena later. Everyone left the car and Johnny opened the trunk to reveal that it was filled with explosives.

Johnny, Playa and Pinkamena walked away from the car before Johnny pushed the button on the detonator which caused a huge explosion that demolished the site...again.

During the commotion, the Saints had gained control of Humbolt Park in the Museum District which was east of Nob Hill. This left the Vice Kings with only four neighborhoods under their control before the gang was wiped out.

However, Pinkie had a strange feeling that the circumstances of their war against the Vice Kings was going to change soon.

Pinkie's Day Off

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The day after Kingdom Come Records got blown up for the third time, Pinkamena and Playa returned to the church to see what Johnny’s next move against the Vice Kings was going to be. Instead they found a note on his desk that mentioned that he was going to spend the rest of the day with Aisha and that they could take a day for themselves to do whatever.

Before any plans could be made, however, Julius busted into the room like he was in a panic about something. When he saw the desk empty and the mute and mare there instead, his expression really did turn to one of panic.

“Where’s Gat?” Julius demanded. Playa showed him the note which only worsened his anxiety. “Fuck! Listen carefully, you two. Benjamin King just called. It seems like one of his boys got a big head and tried to take him out. He’s pinned down in the park in Amberbrook right now and needs some help.”

“Yeah, I figured this would be about the time Warren and Tanya made their move,” Pinkamena said, cutting Julius off. “If he had kept a better eye on his subordinates, he probably could have seen that coming. So are we waiting it out, assisting the coup, or rescuing King?”

Julius took a moment to shake his head to clear his jumbled thoughts. “Save his ass. King and I got history and I ain’t lettin’ him go down like this.”

“Okie dokie. C’mon Playa, looks like our day off starts with a rescue mission.”

The drive to the park in Amberbrook was uneventful but once they arrived, the two of them had to go through a large number of VK thugs to get to King. Pinkamena chucked a number of grenades into the crowds of VK which made them jump away. Playa gunned them down while they were trying to get up from their dive after their efforts to escape an explosion. Meanwhile, Pinkamena turned some VK into medium well pieces of meat with a few molotov cocktails.

Once the way was clear, the duo met Ben atop the bridge in the park. “You the two Julius sent?” he asked.

“That’s us,” Pinkamena replied. “Nice party you have here.”

“Before we get outta here, help me kill Warren.”

“I’m starting to like you already. Make sure you give me plenty of pages in your book.”

“What book?”

Pinkamena ignored him and let Playa take the wheel while she got on the bed of King’s truck and pulled out her party cannon. Every VK car that headed for them was met with an explosion of confetti and explosive frosting.

Soon Warren’s car was in view and Playa gave chase. Warren saw the pink pony on the truck and realized that he was looking at the creature that Tanya was talking about; the one that had been giving her nightmares since she fled the old police station. “You’re the thing that’s got Tanya runnin’ scared?! This is perfect, I get to kill everyone that’s been gettin’ in my way in one fell swoop,” he shouted.

“I’m having so much fun mangling every cock that’s been inside that bitch. Now, it’s your turn,” Pinkamena replied with a twisted smile.

Unfortunately for Warren, he chose to drive a car that wasn’t built to withstand a lot of punishment since his car was up in flames from one hit of Pinkamena’s party cannon.

“So long, Warren. Thanks for the help, you two. Now take me to Julius,” Ben said.

“Playa, you handle the rest. I have a message to give to someone,” Pinkamena said. She jumped off the truck and watched it drive away. Once the truck was gone, she walked up to the blazing car that Warren drove.

A few moments later, the driver’s side door of the car opened and Warren fell out of the car, slightly burnt in appearance. His left leg appeared to be stuck as he struggled to pull it out. A few seconds later, he noticed Pinkamena staring at him. “What? You come to finish the job? Better make your shot count.”

Pinkamena giggled at Warren’s posturing. She slowly advanced on the struggling VK lieutenant. “Oh Warren, acting like a big shot just because you can’t accept your fate that you’re a C-list character at best. Maybe if you had kept your head down and stayed loyal to King you might have ended up with a bigger role, maybe even become a B-list. But now, all you are is part of a message for that ambitious prostitute.” With that, she pulled out her pistol and shot Warren in the head. “Time to get to work.”

Ten minutes later, Tanya arrives at the scene of Warren’s smoldering car. She had intended to make sure Warren was dead so she could seize control of the Vice Kings. What she saw instead was something she wasn’t expecting.

The flames of Warren’s car had been put out but it had also been spray painted pink and had blue and yellow balloons painted all over it. Warren’s body was standing in the street. His suit had been painted pink and his arms were held up by one blue balloon each and his head by a yellow balloon. The balloons were somehow holding up Warren’s entire body to a standing position. His body was standing on a chalk drawing of the same creepy smile from her nightmares. One last detail that Tanya noticed was that Warren was wearing a paper mask that had her own face drawn on it.

Tanya knew that this was a message from that pink monster. While some small part of her was glad to be rid of the last competition to become leader of the VK, most of her was terrified that she was being hunted by a terrifying serial killer.

With the message received, Tanya ran back to her car and retreated to King’s penthouse hoping the gang would protect her.

“Mena, do you have to keep scaring Tanya?” Pinkie asked.

“If I could get away with something like that in Equestria, that would have been something I would have done for Nightmare Night. Besides, she needs to be taken out one way or another if we are to get the Vice Kings out of Stillwater and terrifying her is one way to keep her off her game so she doesn’t plan any effective counter attacks against us,” Pinkamena explained.

“Are you going to be that way with the other gangs?”

“Dunno yet, we’ll see. For now, we have some favors to do nearby.”

“What about our day off?”

“I wanna spend it having fun so we can say it’s a day off from fucking with the Vice Kings.”

“Okie dokie lokie.”

The first location they found was inside a garage filled with drugs. The person they were supposed to meet wore a white tank top, a gold chain around his neck and a backwards baseball cap.

“What? I asked the Saint’s for someone to help me with some deliveries and they sent a pink mule?” the man complained.

That comment did not sit well with Pinkamena but since she needed to help him she decided on a passive aggressive approach. “You want to tell me what you want me to do for your deliveries in a way that doesn’t end up with a lighter among your stash that may result in losing your entire business?”

The man took a moment to think about what was said and chose to try and salvage the situation. ”Let’s start over, I’m Marvin.” He held his hand out.

“Pinkamena.” She reached his hand with her hoof and the two shook.

“Alright, you’re here to help so let’s get down to business. I got the best goddamn product in Stilwater. Now see that’s good, ‘cause my buyers need this shit like porn stars need cock, but stealin’ junkies away from other dealers has a tendency to create bad feelings if ya know what I’m sayin’. You cover my ass when I’m slingin’, and I’ll make sure you see the green.”

“Fine but on one condition: I drive.”

“But you don’t know where my buyers are.”

“Trust me, I’ll know where they are.”

Marvin hesitated for a moment before acquiescing to the pony’s demand. “...Fine. Just lead me to the buyers.”

With that, Pinkamena switched out with Pinkie and got into the driver’s seat of Marvin’s car while he got into the passenger seat. Marvin was surprised by the mare’s sudden change in appearance, “What the fuck happened to you?!”

Pinkie giggled, “This is my driving face.”

Marvin was having second thoughts about being driven around by a pony but suppressed those thoughts once Pinkie drove off. It wasn’t long before the police started getting interested in what was going on. Each time Pinkie made a stop, Pinkamena took over and took out police cars through various means from explosives to pastry based props and sometimes a rubber chicken which confused the police long enough to lose concentration on the road.

The Vice Kings started getting involved in the chase as well. Of course, the only time the VK or the police could actually attack the dealer or the driver was while deals were being made. Once again, Pinkie’s driving skills made her pursuers question their need for a vacation as she drove in impossible ways.

The police, however, were more determined than the VK were as they started blocking the road with SWAT vans and soon police helicopters. FBI vans were deployed during the last rounds of drug deals. By then, the Vice Kings lost interest in the pursuit because they didn’t want the police to notice them, especially now that King no longer had the police chief around his finger.

Despite the very best efforts by the police, however, the drug deals were completed and Marvin had gone into hiding until the heat was off him. Before he hid, he gave Pinkie a symbol that somehow made the Vice Kings a little more forgiving for any actions done against them by her.

With that task complete, Pinkie moved on to the next task which was near Marvin’s garage.

The task given to her this time was a simple street race. The recruiter, a man named Tyell, was in need of one more racer because one of the racers disappeared last week after hitting some kid with his car. He didn’t question Pinkie’s appearance which meant that he was desperate for anyone to take to the race track.

Given Pinkie’s driving skills, she completed each race with ease while the other racers were scratching their heads and heading to the nearest hospital to see if they had a concussion after watching the pink party mare’s ridiculous stunts such as making instant turns without dealing with inertia or driving on walls. She even drove around the corner of a building while on the building. It was as if the mare had never heard of physics or that she came straight out of a 30s cartoon.

Regardless, Pinkie’s prize was a coupon for a ten percent discount on all vehicle customizations at all participating Rim Jobs stores.

The sun was beginning to set and the mare’s day off was coming to an end. Pinkie was tired from all the fun she had today so it was time to head back to the crib near the church and turn in for the night.

Pinkamena had a good feeling that tomorrow would be the last day the Vice Kings would plague Stilwater.

Fall of a Kingdom

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Refreshed after their day off, Pinkie and Playa returned to the church to discuss their final plans against the Vice Kings. Once they made it to Julius’ office, Julius, Ben, Johnny, Playa and Pinkie each found a seat by the long rectangular table and began their meeting.

“Lookin’ good, Ben,” Julius said.

“Been a long time, Jules,” Ben responded.

“Sorry about Anthony.”

“Yeah, only one who saw him get killed was Tanya and she flips her shit whenever I ask her what happened. Keeps muttering something about a pink nightmare.” Ben looks at Pinkie, “I take it you had something to do with that?”

“Well yes and no, Mena is usually the one who handles the gruesome stuff. You don’t even want to know what happened to Warren after you left the scene.”

“Mena?”

Suddenly, Pinkie’s mane delated into it’s straightened version and following the usual minor alterations, the mare’s demeanor changed. “That would be me, and the name’s Pinkamena.”

“Multiple personalities? You sure picked up a strange one, Jules.”

“Believe me, she still weirds me out,” Julius said, earning a giggle from Pinkamena.

“I don’t mind,” Johnny said. “She’s got this whole Jekyll and Hyde thing goin’ on and I think it makes her twice as fun.” He looks at Pinkamena, “You gotta tell me what you did to Anthony and Warren later in private and don’t leave out the gory details.” Pinkamena looked away to hide her blush. Once the matter of Pinkamena was concluded, the meeting continued. “So what’s the plan?”

“We kill Tanya and I get back to business,” Ben said.

Julius quickly shot down that suggestion, “You’re alive, we straight. But the Vice Kings? They’re through.”

“Then kill me, quit wastin’ my god damn time.”

“You got a choice. You can keep your fuckin’ pride and die right now, or you can be a man and walk away.”

Ben was taken aback by Julius’ boldness. “I ain’t walkin’ away until I deal with Tanya.”

“That’s something we can agree on,” Pinkamena said. “I’ve been playing Predator and Prey with her long enough and it's about time I finished our little game.”

Ben chuckled, “You are the scariest person I’ve ever met.”

Everyone agreed to Ben’s terms and began coming up with a plan to put an end to the VK. Ben knew where the largest groups were at and all they had to do was lead them to an ambush point set up by the cops.

With the plan decided, Julius assigned tasks. “Alright Playa, you’re gonna be Mr. King’s wheelman. Pinkamena, I have a different matter that needs your attention. Some of the Vice Kings have been hiding out near the waterfront in Rebadeaux. Go in there and send those mother fuckers a message.”

With that, the meeting was concluded. Playa and King took Playa’s car to the northern island to flush out the VK while Pinkamena hijacked her own ride and drove to Rebadeaux.

Driving around the small neighborhood, Pinkamena found the building that was occupied by a small number of Vice Kings. The majority of which were having a rooftop party that the madmare really wanted to crash.

For the VK inside the building, Pinkamena chose her shotgun to get to the rooftop the fastest while she pulled out her platinum SMG to take out the rooftop party members one by one.

Once the last party guest had been ejected from the party of life, Pinkamena helped herself to the RPGs and sniper rifle.

Once she was finished, she noticed a number of VK cars driving down the street in a patrolling pattern. While she wanted to deal with them, Pinkie volunteered to deal with them instead. Pinkamena shrugged and let her counterpart have her way.

Pinkie brought out her party cannon and made use of typical game mechanics to predict where the patrol cars were going to be and fired at those locations with precise timing. No shot was wasted as each car was hit by the razor sharp confetti and explosive frosting of Pinkie’s party cannon.

Once there were no more targets to blow up, Pinkie called Julius to let him know that she had accomplished her mission.

It wasn’t long until the Saints claimed that last of the VK-owned neighborhoods that were south of the northern island.

Pinkie returned to the church to wait for Playa and Ben.

Playa and Ben returned an hour later from their trip downtown dealing with the VK safehouses. It was another hour before Johnny called Playa and Pinkie in for the next meeting.

“I’ve been chattin’ with King, and it looks like Tanya’s takeover didn’t sit well with everybody. The Vice Kings are fighting amongst themselves; now’s the time to take ‘em out for good. King said he was gonna come along, I hope he hasn’t gone soft.”

Ben walked into the office with a shotgun in his hand. “Don’t you worry ‘bout me, baby-boy, cause I’m gonna handle mine.”

“Doesn’t matter to me, as long as I get to deliver her her last present, I’ll drop whoever gets in my way,” Pinkamena chimed in.

Johnny chuckled, “Hear that King? You better not bitch out or you might end up bein’ another mark on her growing body count.”

“I said I can handle it. Now put your dick away, pick up your gun and try to keep your knee away from the bullets.” Ben said without hiding his irritation.

Johnny picked up his assault rifle, “You heard the cocky sonofabitch, let’s roll.”

On the way to Ben’s truck, Johnny had Pinkamena ride in the bed of the truck because she will have an easier time handling pursuers. Playa, Ben and Johnny rode in the truck.

On the way downtown, Ben mentioned that there was an elevator to his penthouse that had a code which Tanya had likely changed. The only person who might know the code would be her fashion consultant, Stefan.

Pinkie had a thought about Stefan and wondered if the person was anything like Rarity in terms of vanity. She opened the back window to the truck to consult the others, “Hey guys, can I have a crack at the interrogations? I think I know how to get him to talk.”

“Alright then, I was just gonna hang him from the side of the truck until he talked anyway,” Ben said.

It wasn’t long before they arrived at the boutique, “Impressions”. Johnny and Pinkamena walked into the store and saw the man in question standing beside the counter. “Who do you think you are, barging into Stefan’s boutique, go away,” he said in an annoyingly pompous tone.

“You must be Stefan…” Johnny said.

“Are you blind? Of course I am Stefan, now go, and take your filthy animal with you.”

“Oh, I’m hopin’ you won’t come quietly…” Johnny shoved Stefan out of the boutique and into the bed of Ben’s truck. Pinkamena jumped in with him. Johnny got back into the truck and they were off again.

Pinkamena stared at the fashion consultant with a wicked gleam in her eye that displayed a sadistic glee and a promise of untold agony for a prior insult. “You are going to be my ‘special friend’ until I say I’m done with you.”

“W-w-what are you going to do to Stefan you peasant beast?”

“Firstly, I want that elevator code to the penthouse that Tanya Winters now resides in.”

“Tanya tells me nothing, I just love her shoes…”

Pinkamena pulled out two photos and looked at them for a moment. “You know, lately I’ve been getting into artwork. Here are some samples of my work.” She showed the photos of Anthony’s and Warren’s corpses and the grotesque states they were left in. “The first one is called ‘Sex Change’ and the second is called ‘You’re Next’. Maybe you would like to take part in my next art project; I’ll call it ‘Novice Plastic Surgeon’.” She pulls out her kitchen knife that she forgot to wipe the blood off of the other day.

Stefan was no idiot, he knew what the pony was implying and no amount of desecration to his face could justify keeping someone’s secret. “NOOOOOOOOOO! Please do not make Stefan look like a commoner and definitely not with that evil commoner item!”

Pinkamena put a hoof to her chin and thought out loud, “Hmm...maybe I can go with the pirate look. I could glue him into a cheap pirate costume after rolling it around in the mud. For him to rock the eyepatch though, I’ll have to remove one of his eyes. What to do, what to do…”

Stefan shrieked in terror and looked ready to say anything to save his life and his looks. “OKOKOKOK! The code is 3131, please don’t ruin Stefan’s looks!”

Pinkamena continued tapping her chin before looking at Stefan again. “Now I want an apology for that ‘filthy animal’ insult.” She raised her knife over him.

Stefan screamed in the least manly way possible. “IMSORRYIMSORRYIMSORRYPLEASEDONTHURTME!” With that, Stefan curled up into a ball and sobbed until he passed out.

Pinkamena laughed uncontrollably for a whole minute before relaying the code to the others. The rest of the way involved a little RPG meeting with police cars.

“So what’s the plan?” Johnny asked.

“We fight to the elevator.” Ben said.

“Then what?”

“Then we kill Tanya.”

“My kinda plan.”

The lobby was filled with Vice Kings armed to the teeth which made the battle to get to Tanya more interesting. Pinkamena whipped her mane in one direction and launched a number of pinless grenades which caused the VK in the area to duck for cover while Playa, Johnny and Ben took advantage of the confusion. Another part of the lobby was assaulted by a few RPGs which set a few VK on fire.

The upstairs part of the lobby did not fare any better because Pinkamena had a few molotov cocktails ready for them while the others got up close and personal with shotguns.

Once the lobby was cleared, everyone entered the elevator. “Where to?” Johnny asked.

“The penthouse.”

During the boring ride in the elevator, Johnny decided to break the silence, “I’m gonna skull fuck that bitch.”

A few seconds later came the one thing nobody was expecting, “Hope you don’t mind hepatitis,” Playa said. That got a surprised look from Johnny and Pinkamena.

“Ha! So you do have a voice after all,” Pinkamena commented.

Another moment of silence later, Johnny asked a question, “So how did you get Stefan to talk?”

“The guy’s a pussy. All I had to do was threaten to mar his looks and he squealed like the piglet he was.”

The elevator door soon opened and the group engaged the last of Tanya’s defenders who were wearing some armor but it proved useless. Once Pinkamena knew that her goal was so close, she went on a rampage with her knife and started moving at blinding speeds, dismembering VK thugs and laughing maniacally while doing it. Looking at the mare in action made Johnny suddenly feel like his pants were a little tight. Johnny ignored the feeling and followed the pony to Tanya’s office.

Playa, Johnny and Ben caught up with Pinkamena as she bucked the door open. “Oh Tanya…” she said with a creepy singsong voice

The others entered the office to see Tanya pointing an assault rifle at Pinkamena with a look of absolute terror in her face. “Get back! S-s-stay back, you demon!” Tanya cried.

Without waiting for Tanya’s next move, Playa, Ben and Johnny opened fire on the prostitute, a few bullets hitting her while the rest shattered the glass behind her. Tanya desperately grabbed onto the window as she fell. “P-p-please don’t-” she cried.

“Oh, Tanya, do yourself a favor and die with some dignity,” Ben muttered with disappointment.

Before Ben could step on Tanya’s fingers, ensuring her death plunge, Pinkamena stopped him with her hoof, “Wait a minute, before you do that, I have to give her her final gift.” She reached into her mane and pulled out a cupcake that seemed normal but it had the words “Happy Death Day!” on it. She shoved the cupcake into her mouth before motioning for Ben to continue.

Tanya’s fingers lasted mere seconds against Ben’s shoe before she let go and plummeted to her death and landed on Ben’s truck, totaling it.

“That sucks for your car,” Johnny said. “We better get outta here. The cops will be here soon.” Ben followed the group out of the building before Johnny continued, ”Hey, I know what you told Julius an’ all, but why don’t you stick around and roll with us, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind havin’ you around.” Ben declined the offer. Johnny turned to Playa, “You think you can find a way back to the Row on your own? I gotta find Aisha, got a real hard on back there and I need her to take care of it.”

Ben gave Play the keys to the rest of his property in Stilwater as well as any VK cars he bought and the penthouse they just trashed.

With that, the days of the Vice Kings had come to an end. Those who remained dropped their flags or changed them. Whatever the case there were two more gangs to deal with and a lot more blood for the madmare to shed.

First Strike

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Pinkie took a look at the map. Since she and Playa were going to be heading into the industrial sections of Stilwater, she decided that she would check up on some contacts that were there. Now that she was familiar with most of the activity icons on the map, Pinkie decided to head to the places that indicated people who would give them a list of targets to kill and cars to hijack.

Her first stop was a garage in Charlestown where they met the mechanic in charge who was in a wheelchair after being the victim of police brutality. While he would have complained about his lot in life, only for his wife or girlfriend (Pinkie couldn’t say which) to calm him, he lost all train of thought the moment he saw Pinkie before his girl helped him back to his senses. “Right,” he said. “Sorry, I was-”

“You were expecting someone human to help you deliver cars to you for the parts but some models need special customizations that I can only buy at a Rim Jobs before I deliver it because your reputation as a chop shop mechanic has you banned from their stores?”

“Uhh...yeah, how did you know?”

Pinkie giggled. “I’ve heard that before from Samson in Filmore. So where’s the list?”

He shrugged. “It’s tacked up on the wall.” He pointed to the corkboard nearby. Pinkie pronked her way to the board and removed the tacks with her teeth before storing the list in her mane.

“See ya later, Miguel and Jen.” The mare pronked out of the garage.

Miguel’s eyes widened, “How did she-”

“I have this feeling that we shouldn’t question it,” Jen said.

The party mare’s next stop was a hotel near the airport. Pinkamena took over as they walked in. While the staff were less than pleased that a pony casually walked into their hotel, one of the guests there vouched for her being there. She invited the mare to take a seat at the table she occupied.

“I heard about your actions from Marcel.” The woman, Deb, produced a briefcase and placed it on the table. Within was a significant amount of cash. “This...is for you.” She places a number of photos on top of the money. “If...you kill them.” Pinkamena took the photos and left the hotel without a word.

While the Carnales were not particularly upset with them yet, Pinkamena decided to get the matter of the hijackings and assassinations over with.

Pinkamena’s first target, Julia, was seen driving a Reaper, one of Pinkie’s target cars. For this, Pinkamena pulled the old woman out of the car and shot her in the head before stuffing her into a box and putting it in the back of the sedan. Miguel can figure out what to do with the body, she decided.

Thomas was stressing out about his overwhelming workload at the docks that his distressed state became known to his fellow dockworkers. His boss had been piling work on him until he broke and gave him an excuse to fire the dockworker just because he never liked the guy. Thomas suddenly heard the rolling of inline skates on the docks. He turned around and the last thing he ever saw was a pink pony wearing a red baseball cap, and golden inline skates and carrying a bent golden bat.

His head was never found after it had been launched into the sea.

Pinkie found a Destiny, Slingshot, and Bootlegger while she was scouting out the southern parts of Stilwater, two of the cars she had to customize before she gave them to Miguel. Since the mechanic needed a Compton, she grabbed one of the Vice King Comptons that were abandoned after the gang disbanded and gave one to Miguel after customizing it.

Pinkamena made a false emergency claim to the city’s 911 service which was rewarded with an Ambulance within a few minutes. A woman exited the ambulance ready to assist whoever was injured. “911, where’s the injured?” she asked.

The psychotic mare pulls a VICE 9 on her. “Right here.” She shoots the EMT in the head before driving off with the ambulance. She somehow had a feeling that someone was going to pay her for that kill.

Some of the other assassinations were not too spectacular. Gabriel, a utility worker, was blasted in the back by a shotgun and landed on live electrical wiring where someone had “conveniently” left a puddle of water. Chris, a mailman, was simply gunned down while the mare said something about her being paid to “shoot the messenger”. Theresa, an overweight prostitute, was left bleeding out while clutching at her escaping entrails after some crazy pony had sliced her stomach open. Tina spent her last few seconds with a fellow roller skater who happened to be a pony wielding a pistol who shot her in both lungs and once through her throat. She rolled into traffic where a careless driver finished her off. Bill, a construction worker, drove around in a backhoe when he saw a flying bottle of whiskey headed for him. Thankfully his window was closed. Though that didn’t matter as he saw a pink pony with a megaphone sing at a really high pitch through it that shattered the windows of his backhoe and shattered the burning bottle of whiskey, splashing him in alcohol and flames. He tried to jump out to drop and roll but he fell into a “conveniently placed” bonfire where he suffered an agonizing cremation.

The last thing Pinkamena did before returning to the church was call a taxi and throw the driver into traffic before taking the vehicle to a Rim Jobs then to Miguel.

Playa and Dex waited for Pinkamena to show up before beginning the briefing on the Carnales. Once she finally showed up, he began, ”Check this out.” He pointed to the board with photos on it, each one showed Carnales gang members or a leader. “The Carnales were the first organized gang in the city. The way Julius tells it, they owned the whole damn town until Benjamin King stepped up against them. Tell ya what though, I ain’t worried about their history so much as I am the fact that A: the Lopez brothers are crazy muthafuckas, and B: Victor, their enforcer, survived a dozen VK drive-bys.

“Sounds pretty bad right? Now add in that the Carnales are backed by the largest drug cartel in the world, and I think you’ll understand why we’re gonna play this safe instead of pullin’ a Johnny. We cut off their income first, then we go for Hector. Sound good?”

“So basically, we need to turn the Colombians against the Carnales before we can do any real damage to the gang, right?” Pinkamena asked.

“Right, and that starts by destroying their sources of income. The less money coming to the Carnales, the less money the Colombians get and the less profitable their joint venture becomes. There are two drug labs I want you two to blow up: one at The Mills and one at Southern Cross which are separated by Copperton which borders Harrowgate.”

With that, Playa and Pinkamena agreed to each take one lab to get the mission completed quickly and to divert Carnales interest to two areas. Pinkamena took a car to Southern Cross while Playa went to The Mills.

Once Pinkamena got close to her target, the Carnales opened fire on her car. The pink pony jumped out of her car before launching an RPG at her own car which took out several Carnales cars in the process and several thugs as well.

Pinkamena took advantage of the chaos and forced her way into the lab before tossing a grenade at the equipment. She dived into the next room before a huge explosion engulfed the previous room.

Her dive into the next room caused a few grenades to fall out of her mane without their pins before she kicked each one in a different direction, scaring a few Carnales and blowing up others.

With the lab destroyed, the Carnales pulled out of Southern Cross. The Mills were abandoned by the gang shortly after.

Soon, the attention of the Lopez brothers will be focused on the Saints.

Destruction and Drugs

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For Pinkamena, blowing up one drug lab wasn’t much of a mission even if there were two but Playa went after the other.

Since her lust for destruction wasn’t satisfied for the day, Pinkamena decided to have a chat with one of the contacts of the Saints who resided nearby in Southern Cross.

The contact was in a club at one of the back tables. When Pinkamena saw him, he looked like he was in the throes of pleasure for some reason. When he saw Pinkamena, his attention returned to reality. “Get outta here puta,” he said.

Pinkamena tilted her head slightly and narrowed her eyes at him as if holding back a part of her that wanted to make him her next work of murder art. “I hope you aren’t referring to me,” she said warily.

The man held up his hands in defense, “No no no, not you Senorita Poni.” A second later, some woman wearing purple crawled out from under the table which explained to Pinkamena why he acted like he was getting a blowjob, because he was. Her expression softened before he continued, “Sorry ‘bout that, I got a little work for you. I heard about how you helped Mary at $tock$ so you should be able to help me.

“Until I opened this club, I was a nobody. My neighbors, my family...they didn’t give a fuck about me. But as soon as I had money, that all changed. Suddenly everyone’s my friend, and they all need favors. Now, I ain’t got a problem helpin’ people out so long as they understand the consequences.

“If they meet their end of the deal, it’s no problem...but when they don’t...that’s when I need people like you. Go out there and show those pendejos why they can’t fuck with Rico Martinez.”

“So you want me to blow up their shit?” Pinkamena asked.

“Si”

“Alrighty then.” Pinkamena walked out of the club and prepared her weapons for her next rampage.

Once she arrived at the designated location, the madmare started blowing up everything in sight by littering the streets in car parts, the land in debris from destroyed city property, and painted the sidewalks in the blood of pedestrians.

Whenever she was finished razing an area, she would take a few pedestrians and use their blood to paint “Rico Martinez” in the streets where everyone could see it. After all, Rico did want everyone to know what happens when you fuck with him.

While her little act would have a negative impact on Rico’s reputation, she still completed the objective that the club owner had set her to do. Even if he might be upset about the macabre message to his “friends”, Rico would also understand that sometimes there are consequences to hiring Pinkamena Diane Pie to cause havoc.

Despite Rico’s mixed feelings about Pinkamena’s methods, she still upheld her end of the deal and he provided a supply of molotov cocktails as well as her payment.

Her bloodlust satisfied for the time being, Pinkamena returned to the church to discuss the next phase of Dex’s plan. Julius informed her that he, Troy and Playa were waiting for her at Freckle Bitch’s.

A short walk later, Pinkamena arrived to see the three of them looking at a map.

“What if we came from here and here?” Troy asked, pointing at two locations on the map.

“No, they’d just see it coming. Cops try that shit all the time and it never works,” Dex said.

“Shit, you’re right. Well, what should we do then?”

“Well we could-” Dex notices Pinkamena and beckons her over. “Aight, let’s get started.”

“I got a lead on where the Los Carnales cut all their shit.”

“The Carnales,” Dex corrected.

“Wha?” Troy asked confusedly.

“He’s saying that putting ‘the’ and ‘Los’ next to each other in the same sentence is redundant because both words are the same thing. It’s like saying ‘the the Carnales’.” Pinkamena explained.

“Exactly, thank you,” Dex said, grateful that someone understood that basic concept.

“Well excuse me for not paying attention in Spanish class.” Troy rolled his eyes.

“Neither did I and even I knew that much,” Pinkamena countered. Troy grumbled to himself.

As amused as he was to see Troy losing in a battle of wits, he needed to get the conversation back on track. “Like i was sayin’, we’re not gonna raid the factory quite yet.”

“Why not?” Troy inquired.

“Cause I’m not a gun toting psychopath named Johnny Gat.” Pinkamena rolled her eyes at Dex’s comment.

“Fair enough. So what’s the plan?”

“One of my boys called and said they saw a truck with a heavy LC escort leavin’ the factory district. It’s probably loaded with drugs, but that’s just a bonus, our target is the truck itself. I need it brought back to the Row in one piece; it’s no good to us blown to shit.”

“What do you need the truck for?”

“Let’s just get the truck first, then I’ll tell ya the rest of the plan.”

“I’m just sayin’ it’d be nice to know.”

“Shit, Troy, what’s with all the questions?”

“Yeah,” Pinkamena chimed. “What are you, a cop?”

Troy tensed up from the mare’s question. The mare noticed that the man started to sweat a little. This told the mare what she needed to know about him but decided to let it lie for now and if it did come back to bite her in the flank, she’d divide his remains and feed them to the Stillwater Police Department.

Dex broke up the tension by telling the group to focus on getting the truck. He then left to deal with his own business while Playa, Troy and Pinkamena got into one of Playa’s cars and went to fetch the truck in Poseidon Alley docks at the southern end of the city.

On the way, Troy went over his plan of needing protection while he hijacked the truck. Then he complained about Julius’ idea about getting into the drug trade. Next, he stateed his concerns about retaliation from Hector Lopez. Pinkamena rolled her eyes and wondered whether or not to go through with her plans for Troy.

Once they arrived at the truck at the docks, Troy got out of the car and into the truck to hotwire it. While he was doing that, the Carnales were coming in force to the docks to protect their shipment.

While Playa used his conventional weapons to repel the defenders, Pinkamena pulled out a fish from her mane, took a deep breath and held it, then cut the fish open with her knife then quickly threw it into a large group of Carnales that gathered in one place. The fish released some highly intoxicating fumes into the air that quickly rendered the Carnales group into a drug-induced high. Pinkamena released her breath then tossed a molotov cocktail at the inebriated gang members which resulted in the air around them igniting and setting them and their cars ablaze. The following explosion just made the performance even more glorious.

Troy took a moment to stare at what just happened. “How did a fish make them high?” he thought.

Five years later…

One of the Sons of Samedi members walked around the Sunnyvale Gardens Fishing Dock checking on the Loa Dust stashes they had stored in the freezers. To ensure the drugs were in good condition for delivery, the gang had stored the drugs inside the frozen fish until it was ready for shipping.

The green-wearing thug was patrolling past one particular freezer when he noticed there was a strange gap in between two of the drug-filled fish. However, since there was no telling how the fish disappeared and he was the one on duty when it happened, he decided that it would be in his best interest to pretend that there was never a fish there and move on. He let it be someone else’s problem.

Present

Troy finally finished hotwiring the truck and floored the pedal to make a fast break out of the docks, smashing a few Carnales cars and earning himself a few counts of vehicular manslaughter.

Pinkamena fired a grapple gun to the top of the truck before it got too far while Playa went to find his car to pursue. Once atop the truck, Pinkamena attached a party cannon to the truck and set it up like a turret. Once set she opened fire on pursuing Carnales vehicles while Playa acted as escort.

One particular Carnales car caught Pinkamena’s attention but Pinkie stopped her from firing at it. Pinkie quickly took over and abandoned the party turret in favor of leaping from the truck and landing on the Carnales vehicle.

Pinkie quickly jumped on the roof of the car which prompted the driver to move his arm out of the vehicle to take a blind shot at the party pony. Pinkie grabbed the arm and pulled the driver out of the car to toss him into the grass beside the road.

The car began to swerve with no driver but Pinkie quickly jumped into the car and took control of the wheel.

Playa managed to take out the remaining pursuers while Pinkie was doing her insane carjacking stunt. Thanks to the duo, Troy managed to get the truck back to Samson’s garage in the Saint’s Row district.

Meanwhile, Pinkie drove off without anyone giving her leave in order to deliver the La Fuerza she just hijacked to Miguel...after a detour for the customizations.

Stealth Tactics

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Pinkie returned to the church shortly after turning over the La Fuerza she stole to Miguel. For some reason, Julius was waiting outside for her looking impatient from waiting for her. Once he saw her, the two moved to meet in the middle of their paths.

“Sorry to dump this on you when you just got back but there’s a matter that’s come up suddenly and I need your help. The Carnales have started to move to gun running since we hurt their drug ring. They set up a weapons plant in an old steel factory on Fox Drive. Don’t let their business get off the ground.”

“I’ll agree to this if I get to keep whatever they made,” Pinkie said, voicing the demand from Pinkamena. “What about Playa?”

“Playa’s workin’ with Dex to get a crew together for whatever he’s got planned. You use whatever means necessary to wipe out that weapons plant.” Julius gives Pinkie a few bombs. “Use these to blow up anything that looks important.” Pinkie stores the bombs in her mane.

The drive to Fox Drive was uneventful. It was when she saw what she was up against that showed that the plant wouldn’t be taken so easily. Many of the defenders were well equipped and two were carrying McManus sniper rifles.

This mission required stealth so Pinkie decided to wait until the sun had fully set before beginning the mission.

Since she had plenty of time to kill, Pinkie pulled out her map and noticed an icon on the map that indicated someone in need of assistance with some drug deals so she made her way there.

When she got there, Pinkie’s eyes widened and she curled up when she saw the contact in question screaming at some person from the top of his lungs while firing a bullet into his corpse at every punctuation, “YOU THINK YOU CAN STEAL FROM ME?! YOU THINK YOU CAN FUCKING ROB ME?! YOU STUPID. FUCKING. BACKSTABBING. PIECE OF SHIT!”

He turns and notices the terrified pony. “Sorry ‘bout that, Billy here thought it would be a good idea to skim off the top...and, well…” He shot the corpse again. “...let’s just say he was wrong.”
He continued staring at the terrified pony, “Uhh...are you alright?”

It was then that Pinkamena took over both her body and the conversation. She looked at the shirtless man with colorful pants and long brown hair braided in dreadlocks with a wary look. “I am, though you scared the shit out of my other self. Since you can be of help to the Saints, I’ll let it slide. But, if you scare my other self again, Billy won’t be the only one having a ‘retirement party’,” she threatened.

“Fair enough. Name’s Tobias, can you watch my back on deliveries? You make sure my deals go smoothly, I cut you in on the action...whaddya say?”

What surprised Pinkamena was the fact that he didn’t question the whole “other self” thing. She suspected that he might be a little stoned but that didn’t matter. “Alright, my other self will drive you to each buyer; don’t ask questions just go with it. You make the deals and I’ll make sure the Carnales regret trying to fuck with you.”

“Deal.”

With that, Pinkie drove from client to client in Tobias’ van that looked painted with a 70s theme. The resistance with each delivery was surprisingly less compared to when she was helping Marvin peddle his products. Police presence was consistently minimal despite being closer to police headquarters than before. Carnales activity, however, worsened with each delivery. It made sense though since the gang that specializes in drug dealing would want to snuff out competition.

Of course, Pinkie’s driving skills and Pinkamena’s violent tendencies easily kept the red-themed gang from being too bothersome.

Occasionally, one of Tobias’ buyers would try to fuck with him and run away with the drugs and cash but Pinkamena would shoot them in the leg before Tobias caught up and emptied a magazine on him before looting him.

Once the deals were all complete, Tobias rewarded Pinkie with a trinket that made the Carnales back off from her a little faster after angering them.

The sun was nearly fully set and Pinkie bid Tobias goodbye before returning to the Fox Drive weapons plant.

Once there, Pinkamena put on a black stealth suit to blend in with the night and shadows. Since stealth was an easy way to avoid the heavily armed thugs, she decided on silent weaponry. She equipped the hidden blades she kept from Sunnyvale to her forelegs and kept her kitchen knife in her mouth.

Once night had fully enveloped the city, Pinkamena made her move. Once more treating the mission like a stealth game, the sneaky mare went from thug to thug silently killing each one with her knife or her hidden blades. She silently climbed the structure and took out the biggest threats when nobody was looking and made sure not to move too much as the Carnales thugs weren’t so stupid to follow unrealistic stealth mechanics.

Eventually the Carnales got wise to what was going on but this only left them in a panicked state. While they knew there was someone prowling the grounds taking them out, they couldn’t find her.

Unfortunately for Pinkamena, her phone rang at the worst time. She still had a few more to kill and they had just gathered together to cover all angles. Pinkamena let out a sigh, “Figures.”

Knowing that her cover was blown, the ninja mare threw all stealth aside and charged the remaining defenders using a serpentine maneuver. The thugs weren’t trained to handle such a tactic so she easily made it to their location and started dismembering them with her knife to disarm them before leaving large gashes in their flesh until the thugs stopped moving.

Her suit ruined by bloodstains, Pinkamena took it off and wiped her bloodstained face with it before discarding it. Once done, she pulled out her phone to answer, “This better be important.”

“I’ll say it is, the Carnales are attackin’ the Row,” the caller, Dex, said. “You wanna get over here and help us out?” he asked in a rhetorical manner.

“I’m in the middle of something important too. Besides, between you, Troy, Playa, Johnny and Julius, I highly doubt a few Carnales will be much trouble for you guys.” Pinkamena hung up before Dex could respond.

Once the defenders were gone, a door opened into the factory and a few Carnales exited the building to investigate the commotion. Since the new defenders weren’t as well armed as the initial defenders, Pinkamena easily dispatched them as she fought her way into the factory. Since Pinkamena was better at close quarters combat than they were, the inside of the mill quickly turned into a bloodbath.

Once the place was clear, Pinkamena stored whatever weapons and ammunition that was lying around in her mane before planting the bombs Julius gave her. Once she planted the last one at the top of the plant, she pulled out her party cannon and a helmet. She put on the helmet and placed herself inside her cannon. The party tool fired a second later, launching the mare into the distance. The steel plant exploded mere seconds after that.

By some stroke of dumb luck she landed in the back seat of a Carnales-owned Cavallaro. She quickly disposed of the driver and rider with her SMG before letting Pinkie drive the rest of the way back to the Row.

By the time she got back, the Carnales had already retreated and Dex was making final preparations for his plan. She noticed that a crew of Saints were entering the back of the shipping truck that Troy stole earlier.

Troy continued to complain about Dex keeping his plan a secret while Dex was acting like a smart ass to Troy. Dex’s plan involved driving the truck into the main drug production plant of the Carnales and taking out everyone there using a whole crew of Saints. Dex also mentioned that he didn’t want the equipment damaged during the raid.

Before Playa could get into the truck to drive, Pinkie stepped in between Playa and the truck, giving him a look he was all too familiar with and forcing him to join his fellow Saints in the back of the truck.

Thanks to Pinkie’s driving, the drive into the drug factory was smooth. Once the truck came to a complete stop, the Saints jumped out of the truck ready for a fight.

Meanwhile, Pinkamena had other plans. Using a grapple gun, she pulled herself up to the roof of the main factory building. Then she pulled out a McManus sniper rifle and started shooting the barrels that had Carnales near them. She didn’t care about preserving the equipment because while Dex may want to process and sell drugs, the market was not particularly vital to the Saints.

That and she had no respect for him.

Pinkamena sniped the Carnales that weren’t near barrels while focusing on the Carnales on the other end of Playa’s path through the factory. Once the back was cleared, the mostly mute Saint had an easier time clearing the remaining Carnales inside the factory. Pinkamena tossed a grenade at the last defender which blew her up along with some nearby equipment which she destroyed on purpose for the sake of irritating Dex a little.

Claiming Fox Drive and Pilson, which were connected to Athos Bay by the highway, as well as repelling a Carnales attack, marked the end to a productive day against the Lopez brothers.

Death in the Family

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Pinkamena and Playa returned to the loft at the Row to get some sleep after their eventful night taking the main drug factory from the Carnales.

Before they went to bed though, they received a call from Dex that they found a memo that said that Hector Lopez was meeting with the Colombians tomorrow night and that they would be packing some serious firepower. He had a plan to deal with that but it would have to wait until tomorrow evening before they knew.

With that, the duo went to sleep to prepare for their big day tomorrow.

The next day, Playa and Pinkamena realized they had a lot of time to spend before the meeting so Playa decided to spend this time going around the northern island painting over Vice King graffiti and looking for music CDs left on the ground while Pinkamena went into Carnales territory to provide aid to more of the Saints’ contacts.

It was during the drive that Pinkamena received a call from Julius to inform her that the Carnales received another big shipment of drugs at the Stoughton Shipyard which was just south of the Pilsen factory. Instead of stealing more product however, Julius wanted the shipment disposed of.

Once Pinkamena arrived at the shipyards, one of the Saints drove in with a bulldozer that she could use to dispose of the shipments. However, Pinkamena opted not to use the bulldozer in favor of her own strength.

Despite the contempt she still held for her parents, she still learned many of the Pie family secrets to rock farming; among these was the secret to using one’s earth pony magic to actively boost one’s strength beyond the levels that the passive magic gives. Maud had mastered this technique better than her sisters had but Pinkamena was still quite skilled with it, even if she still had to shake off ten years of rust. Thankfully, Pinkie managed to keep her body in a somewhat decent shape from all of her running around for her many parties.

Pinkamena spotted the first shipping container and charged at it before delivering a powerful blow from her right forehoof, sending the container flying into the sea.

“Tch,” Pinkamena swore, “I really have gotten rusty. Before, I could clear at least a mile with a boulder.”

Wasting no more time and with the Carnales after her, Pinkamena went to the next few shipping containers and bucked them into the sea while cutting a swathe through the Carnales defenders by severing limbs with her knife or blowing up cars with her party cannon.

The last container was guarded by a Carnales with an RPG so Pinkamena decided to fight fire with party cannon by blowing up the thug and sending the container into the sea at the same time. The explosion left a red smear on the container and no sign of the body after the blast.

The Carnales retreated from the shipyard and the Saints claimed Stoughton.

“How did you do that Mena?” Pinkie asked. “I thought Applejack was the only pony I knew who was strong enough to move something like that...well, her and Big Mac.”

“Applejack is a strong pony who kept herself strong through years of bucking apple trees. Because of that, she has physical strength from her daily exercise on top of her earth pony magic. However, the Pie family knows a technique that allows us to use more earth pony magic than what we passively use. It was developed for the purpose of rock farming. It’s also how Maud appears so strong despite the many hours she spends studying those rockology textbooks.”

“Ooooooohhhhhhh…” Pinkie realized. “But how come mom and dad never taught the technique to me?”

“Because they knew from the moment you got your cutie mark that rock farming wasn’t going to be in your future.”

“Oh,” Pinkie frowned, then considered something, “Can you teach it to me?”

“No. One: I’m still rusty myself after ten years of solitary confinement. Two: You don’t really need the technique because you don’t need the extra strength for your parties. Three: It’s a secret family technique that would give the Pie family unwanted publicity and having you show it off in the event we get back to Equestria would cause ponies to ask questions that don’t need answering. Plus, your sisters will get mad at you, me included.”

Pinkie pondered on what Pinkamena said and realized she was right about her wanting to show it off if she learned it and decided to drop that matter. However, another part of what she said made her curious, “Wait, are you saying we’re sisters, like real sisters?”

Pinkamena sighed, she knew that she would eventually bring it up. “Yes Pinkie, we are technically sisters. You were born as a Pie and you were raised as a Pie just like myself, Maud, Limestone and Marble so we are sisters. Now can we get back to the matter of our present situation? We’re nearing one of our contacts and it looks like it’s going to be another request to join a series of races so you’re up.”

Pinkie, to Pinkamena’s annoyance, squeed in her head all the way to the contact’s location.

Once they arrived, Pinkamena managed to get her overexcited counterpart to calm herself enough to approach the contact without the excess energy affecting her speech patterns. The contact was staring at a magazine before he hurriedly put it away to address the mare.

“H-hey, what’s up...look you didn’t see any-”

“Don’t care. You’re the guy who can get us in the races so do so and we can avoid talking about your potentially weird habits.”

“Uhh...r-right. I’ll just go and get you signed up.” The man, Lorenzo, ran off as fast as he could.

The races were about the same as the ones from the northern island. Pinkie was once again driving like a wacky cartoon character, leaving the others in the dust. Once again, Pinkie left the racers wanting to get their eyes examined.

With that trivial task complete, Pinkamena noticed the sun was setting and it was almost time for the meeting with the Columbians. Dex called earlier and told her to meet him and Troy at the Friendly Fire at Saint’s Row. She headed straight there.

Inside the store, Pinkamena noticed the shopkeeper doing a presentation of a McManus sniper rifle for Dex, Playa and Troy.

“I’ll take it,” Dex said after the shopkeeper finished her presentation.

“Lovely. Would you like it gift wrapped?” the storekeeper asked.

“No, that’s okay.”

“Great, let me run this.”

Dex turned to Playa, “Tight job on that lab, dawg. Now, Hector Lopez, leader of the Carnales, is meetin’ with the Colombians tonight at the Poseidon Alley docks. With the amount of firepower that’s going to be there, just showing up and rushin’ ‘em would be suicide. Take ‘McManus’ here and find a nice tall building and wait. When Hector makes his move with the Colombians, take your shot.”

“When it all goes down...” Troy added. “...the first place the Carnales is gonna look is right at the Colombians. They’re gonna think they got fucked bad. Aight. You should have no problem sneaking out in the confusion.”

“Just the same, I’d get the fuck out of there. Who knows what could happen.”

Pinkamena noticed a certain tone in his voice that indicated that he left something out. She decided to let the matter lie for the time being and got into one of Playa’s cars as he drove the two of them to Poseidon Alley.

Much to Pinkamena’s aggravation, Playa’s bad driving had cost them precious time; time they could not afford to waste as the meeting would be starting at any minute. Once they arrived, Playa climbed up a warehouse staircase to the rooftop while Pinkie decided to try something devious.

Hector arrived with three cars full of escort detail while the Colombians waited for their guest to arrive. Once the Carnales leader and the Colombian representative met face to face, Pinkie looked around the warehouse rooftop to find the Saint was not in position yet, which was fine because she had her own plan as she snuck into the nearby tanker’s shipwide radio room.

As the two representatives discussed their latest deal, a shipwide broadcast was heard from the nearby ship in Spanish, [“He’s wearing a wire!”]

While the Carnales guards moved to the ship to investigate the broadcast, the Colombian representative was curious about the mysterious message and narrowed his eyes at Hector with suspicion before walking up to him and ripping his shirt open, revealing a police issue recording device taped to his chest.

[“What?!”] Hector exclaimed. [“This was not here before. How the fuck did this thing get on my chest?!”]

At the Stilwater police department, one of the officers who had been tasked with taking inventory of their equipment had noticed one of their recorders had gone missing. This officer didn’t want to be bothered with looking for missing equipment because his shift was nearly over so he just assumed that it had been issued to one of the investigators and they forgot to sign off on taking it. With that, he finished taking inventory while ignoring the gap.

Suddenly, at least a dozen guns were pointed at the Carnales leader. [“So, you planned to betray us after all this time?”] The Colombian representative chucked while shaking his head in disappointment. Before he could decide Hector’s fate, police sirens were heard in the distance and getting closer. [“A pity. You will simply die instead of suffering for this betrayal like the mongrel you are.”] Before Hector could plead his case, the representative shot him in the head before ordering his guards to quickly withdraw. On his way back to his boat, the representative looked back at Hector’s corpse and emptied his magazine into his chest, destroying the recorder.

Meanwhile, Pinkamena decided to handle Hector’s escorts by luring them into one of her predator and prey games by locking them inside the ship and hunting them down one by one.

Once the police arrived, they arrested the remaining Carnales members at the docks while Pinkamena was long gone after acting out her latest horror scenario.

Playa was disappointed that he never got to use his new sniper rifle.

Playa and Pinkamena regrouped and snuck away from the scene and headed back to the Row. On the way, the duo decided to add insult to injury by heading to the Black Bottom Refinery that was near Poseidon Alley and letting Playa paint over all of the Carnales graffiti on the refinery equipment while Pinkamena did what she loved: butcher every Carnales that came by to disrespect Playa’s art.

Courting the Colombians

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After driving the Carnales from the Black Bottom Refinery, Playa and Pinkamena returned to their loft to rest and prepare for the Saints’ next move against the Carnales.

The next day, the duo decided on doing some favors for more of the Saints’ contacts before consulting with Dex about their next move.

Two of their contacts were near one another in Cecil Park which was just west of Black Bottom.

The first contact, Loreana, was another brothel mother who lost her girls to some pimps and they needed to retrieve them. The situation was handled the same way as with Will’s and Vikki’s requests to kill pimps and rescue hos. Pinkamena butchered any pimps and Carnales that tried to get in her way while painting the streets red and Playa rescued the prostitutes; whether from the pimps or Pinkamena’s wrath.

While Pinkamena got nothing for her efforts, much to her frustration, Playa got a full pimp’s ensemble. Pinkamena briefly imagined killing Playa while he was wearing that outfit but discarded the thought as the duo left the brothel.

Near the brothel was a law firm which immediately informed the madmare that they were about to swindle insurance companies again. The contact in the law firm was a lawyer who was dressed as a doctor. The man introduced himself as Doctor Raymond Gonzales before telling them the same scheme they heard from Legal Lee.

Before he could awkwardly state that Pinkamena would be unable to help due to her social status as an animal, she interrupted the doctor, “I’m sure you have some clients who would like their insurance payouts so give me the folder and we can get to work.”

“Oh, oh yes. Here you go.” The doctor hands the mare a folder of his clients with the highest paying insurance policies. With the folder, the duo left the office and got to work; one dealing near crippling injuries and the other getting himself mangled in traffic. At one point, Pinkamena batted Playa into traffic with a stop sign not only to help him but also because she imagined Playa in a pimp suit again.

After racking up a hefty sum for the doctor from insurance claims, the duo was given some strange armor that was supposed to give some protection in the event a car hits them.

With the day in full swing, Playa and Pinkamena returned to the church to talk with Dex about the Carnales.

Playa and Pinkamena found Dex and Troy who were talking about someone being the “mouth piece for the Colombians.” Troy mentioned that the person in question was in town. The duo approached the lieutenants to see if they could get an explanation. On the table was a balding man with black hair and moustache and wearing a hawaiian shirt under a white jacket.

“We’ve taken out one of the Carnales’ legs. We smoke this guy and they’re crippled for good,” Troy suggested.

“Yeah, and so are we,” Dex countered. “We kill Orejuela, and the Colombians’ll be all up our ass. Let’s figure out what his game is first, then we’ll decide what to do. You know where he is?”

“Yeah, well, I’d start with the strip clubs.”

“Cool. Alright man, let’s go buy this drug lord a lap dance.”

Before the meeting ended, Pinkamena chimed in, “If we’re going to be diplomatic about this, then why are we not telling Julius? I’m pretty sure he needs to be informed about this if we’re going to be attempting to get the Colombians on our side.”

Dex glared at the pony, “Julius doesn’t need to know about every little thing. I can handle discussions with Orejuela so keep your mouth shut and we might be able to get the Colombians on our side.”

Some part of the madmare desperately hoped that Dex would turn out to be an enemy one day so she could murder him brutally but put the thought aside as she, Playa and Dex got into one of Playa’s cars and drove to the strip club near the airport.

On the way to the strip club, Dex warned the two of them of the Carnales enforcer, Victor Rodriguez who was known for being a badass who survived a point blank shot to the head one time as well as a number of VK drive-bys. He also warns that they would need some serious back up if they planned to take him on.

Once they arrived at the strip club, the trio waited for people to go in and out of the place hoping to find Orejuela.

Instead of finding the Colombian representative, however, they ended up being ambushed by an enraged Victor who attempted to ram their car with his slightly armored car. Playa drove away from the enforcer as fast as he could while Pinkamena jumped out of the car and watched the car drive away.

Victor decided to go for the easy prey and attempt to run the pink mare over with his vehicle while his companions chased after Playa and Dex.

Pinkamena dodged the first attempt before using her knife to slash one of his tires, causing the vehicle to have some control issues. By the time Victor had turned around to make his second attempt, Pinkamena had a trap ready for him. Once his car landed on the overcharged party mine the madmare had laid out for him, the mine erupted with an upward force that caused his vehicle to flip and land on its top, immobilizing it.

Victor climbed out of his car and looked around for his pink adversary. He looked in all directions and failed to locate her. Victor growled in fury, [“You will pay for setting Hector up like that,”] he roared.

While the furious Victor continued looking around, he was ambushed from behind by Pinkamena who jumped on his shoulders and stuffed a cupcake into his mouth. Victor reacted by throwing the mare over his shoulder to his front. Pinkamena somehow twisted in midair to land on her hooves. She landed on a conveniently placed springboard that sent her back a fair distance.

Victor roared as he charged at the pony only for her to pull out her McManus and load it up with darts filled with heavy doses of tranquilizer. The cupcake she stuffed into Victor’s mouth was laced with elephant tranquilizer so he was already beginning to feel drowsy as he charged. For good measure, Pinkamena fired a dart which struck him in his right leg. With a powerful dose coursing through him, Victor’s charge slowed to a jog, then a walk, then a crawl before he finally collapsed on the pavement.

Pinkamena, who had somehow found a pith hat for her to wear, approached Victor’s unconscious form. She had a wicked smile on her face as she spoke to herself, “Angelo is going to love the gift I’m sending to him.” Finding a wooden crate, Pinkamena placed Victor inside and nailed it shut, drilling a few holes for air. She then wrapped the crate in wrapping paper and tied it up with a ribbon.

Her gift properly wrapped, she hijacked the nearest car that wasn’t destroyed or flipped and drove back to Saint’s Row.

Pinkamena became the center of attention at the church as the members noticed her carrying a gift box that was bigger than her. The box looked big enough to hold a person and some suspected that it might be, given her reputation.

As she walked into the church, Pinkamena overheard Dex getting reprimanded by Julius.

“Julius, I don’t see what the big deal is,” Dex said.

“The deal is that you went to talk to the Colombians without me.”

“We didn’t even get to meet him Jules.”

“And don’t call me Jules, you haven’t earned it.”

“Fine. Julius, you put me in charge of the Los Carnales...shit.” He looked at Troy who was witnessing the chewing out alongside Playa. “Now you got me sayin’ it.”

“Dex, do your job, but don’t think you’re bigger than you are. When it comes to the Colombians, you call me, understand?”

Dex bit back his irritation, “Yeah.”

“Good. Don’t undermine me again or I’ll let Pinkamena handle the Carnales while you answer to her.”

Pinkamena giggled which drew the attention of everyone in the room. Everyone immediately noticed the box that the madmare was carrying. After a minute of staring at the mare who was feigning an innocent look, Troy was the first to address the elephant in the room, “So, what’s in the box?”

Pinkamena giggled deviously, “It’s a gift for Angelo but I have to prepare him first. The presentation is a gift to the Saints before I send him back to Angelo.”

Dex was the first to realize what the mare had done and his eyes bulged at the realization, “No way...how did you-”

“At least something good came from your stupid stunt, Dex.”

“Does someone wanna tell me what’s going on?” Julius inquired.

“Help me find some heavy chains. It’d be problematic if Vicky somehow woke up and broke out.”

Troy and Julius imitated Dex’s reaction when they realized what he figured. “You mean you have Victor Rodriguez in that box?” Julius inquired. Pinkamena nodded.

“The Carnales enforcer?” Troy inquired. Another nod.

“And how are you going to ‘prepare’ him before sending him back to Angelo?” Julius asked.

“That’s a secret. Don’t you have a meeting to arrange with Orejuela?”

Julius decided not to get involved further with the crazy pony and move on to more important matters, “Alright, I’ll set things up with the Colombians. Meanwhile, can I get you and Playa to take care of something? Dex found another Carnales drug lab at the Cecil Park power plant. Take it out.”

“Okie dokie,” Pinkamena affirmed.

“We’ll make sure Victor stays nice and snug while you’re away.”

Destroying the drug lab was a trivial task since the defenders inside the aged building where the equipment was kept were hardly a challenge for Pinkamena’s speed as she cut each down. Playa noticed a number of Carnales gathering on roofs of surrounding buildings. Some of the ambushers were carrying RPGs so he focused on them first while keeping their attention away from Pinkamena as she appeared to be expecting something. It took some time but Playa managed to defeat the rooftop ambushers in time to witness the madmare throwing a molotov cocktail out a window.

“Okay, back to the church, I have a gift to prepare,” she said.

The Carnales lieutenant who arrived at the base of the building Playa and Pinkamena were in had just gotten out of his car before a flaming bottle of whiskey hit him in the head. The remaining reinforcements fled immediately because they believed their lieutenant had spontaneously burst into flames and died and they did not want to share the same fate.

Back at the church, Pinkamena was invited to the meeting between Julius and Orejuela at the request of the Colombian. Apparently, Orejuela was impressed that the mare was able to capture Victor on her own and wanted to meet the one who could defeat such a tough person.

Orejuela was initially surprised to find that Victor was defeated by a pony until Julius had informed him that she was responsible for killing several of the Vice King leaders and terrorizing a third.

With the examination of the pony’s reputation finished, the meeting began while Pinkamena and Dex observed. Orejuela offered to work exclusively with the Saints in exchange for the drugs that were confiscated by the police. Julius agreed to Orejuela’s terms.

Before the meeting concluded, however, Pinkamena asked the Colombian about any interesting Colombian execution methods because she wanted to send Angelo a message with Victor. When he heard that she intended for Angelo to be the recipient, he eagerly told her of one interesting method. His eagerness stemmed from the fact that he didn’t like Angelo’s rash and aggressive behavior and the fact that he treated his own girlfriend Luz like some cheap prostitute. While he had nothing against Victor, Orejuela knew better than to mix personal feelings with professionalism. The enforcer’s fate was decided by the pink pony the moment she captured him.

Once the meeting was concluded, Dex left to look for Troy while Pinkamena went to get her present for Angelo ready.

Victor sat on the stone floor bound in heavy iron chains while waiting for the next Saint to show up. While he wanted to get up and kill some Saints, especially that pony, he was unable to shake the tranquilizers that continued to hinder his performance. Every now and then a Saint would come in to give him another dose of tranquilizer to keep him pacified until the pink pony returned.

He continued attempting to get adrenaline to flow through his body so he could try to break the chains for a few more hours before the door to his cell opened to reveal the one creature he wanted to kill more than any other. Unfortunately, he was without a plan and his executioner drew closer as she slowly walked up to him.

“Victor Rodriguez, enforcer of Los Carnales, I am here to send a message to Angelo Lopez...through you,” Pinkamena said.

[“Pink demon, we both know what you’re here to do. Get on with it.”]

“Say goodnight, Victor.”

[“Burn in he--”] was all he managed to say before Pinkamena sliced his throat with a horizontal slash from her knife. Victor’s blood sprayed from his neck as he quickly lost consciousness for the final time. Pinkamena took this time to reach into his wound and pull out his tongue, leaving the impression of a necktie. Once the spray of blood receded, she wrote something on a piece of paper and attached it to Victor’s body. All she needed to do was to send it. She decided on air mail.

While Angelo was arming himself for his reckless attack against the Saints, Luz begged him not to throw his life away which resulted in her getting slapped. As he was preparing to leave, Angelo noticed someone sitting at one of the tables outside. When he investigated, he discovered that it was Victor sitting there. Initially, he was overjoyed to see his enforcer return but that feeling quickly gave way to a sense of wrongness.

Looking closer, Angelo discovered that Victor was dead while his head and arms had balloons tied to them. Looking further, he noticed that Victor was the victim of a Colombian Necktie. Attached to the enforcer’s corpse was a sign. It read, [“This is my two weeks’ notice”].

The sight of his enforcer’s body compounded with his brother’s death had sent Angelo into a blind rage. Without thinking on the matter further, he got into his car and drove off.

After Pinkamena sent her message, she overheard Dex and Troy discussing how to get the drugs from the police. The plan was to use a car bomb to blow a hole into the evidence locker of the police station in Encanto and use the truck from when the Saints infiltrated the drug factory to transport the drugs back to Saint’s Row.

With the plan made known, Pinkamena joined Playa to get the sacrificial car ready at a nearby garage. It was at this time that Pinkie, who was getting tired of watching her sister do everything, took over and forced Playa into the passenger seat while she drove to the police station. With her skills she made it there with plenty of time to spare as they had time to find cover before the car bomb exploded, blowing a hole in the police station.

The crew assigned to the truck were not far behind as they soon arrived and backed the huge vehicle against the hole while those in the back of the truck jumped out and into the evidence locker room.

While the Saints were gathering the drugs, Playa and Pinkamena had to deal with cops coming to investigate the disturbance. While the madmare wasn’t fond of playing defense, she did enjoy the fact that the cops kept coming to her so she could increase her body count.

A little time passed and the police became more desperate to stop the robbery by deploying SWAT teams and eventually deploying police helicopters. Playa dealt with the hovering vehicles with RPGs while Pinkamena used her party cannon to clear any ground clutter for when they eventually made their escape. One particular SWAT member in a helicopter met his end with Pinkamena’s sniper rifle.

Once the Saints confirmed that they had the drugs on board, the duo quickly got into the truck with Pinkie taking over and driving the truck through the Forgive and Forget in Charlestown, which made the rest of the trip back to the Row a pleasant drive.

After the Colombians took possession of the truck, the Saints and Orejuela met at the local Tee’N’Ay to finalize their agreement.

During the completion of the agreement, Angelo suddenly busted in with an assault rifle and a look that displayed frothing rage.

“Manuel! You’ll die for what you did to my brother and Victor,” Angelo yelled. He then began firing his rifle into the establishment blindly, hoping to kill something. Once Orejuela and the Saints started retaliating, he retreated to his car and drove off.

Playa started to give chase only to be stopped by Orejuela who gave Julius Angelo’s address for his act of good faith. Before he left, the Colombian also requested that they didn’t kill Angelo’s girlfriend.

Knowing where Angelo lived meant that the Saints had everything they needed to bring the story of the long-lived first gang of Stilwater to its close.

Pony in the Engine

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After Angelo’s latest attempt to rid Stilwater of the Colombian representative, Manuel Orejuela, Julius received the address of the Lopez Mansion where Angelo resided. Given that only three neighborhoods remained in Carnales control, even if Angelo escaped a raid on his house, there would only be two places he could hide and one of them provided the best means out of the city.

Since Angelo was as predictable as he was foolish, Pinkamena felt like she had plenty of time to take out the last of the Carnales leadership. For now, she needed to take care of a couple more contacts that resided near the airport. She also needed to tighten the noose a little around the Carnales’ proverbial neck by taking one of their remaining neighborhoods.

Deciding on helping the contacts first, Pinkie drove to the airport to take care of them. On the way, Pinkamena had her counterpart stop at the airport hotel first so she could claim her reward from Deb. A few minutes after entering the hotel lobby, the party mare exited the hotel with a briefcase full of cash and a gold-plated pistol.

Her next stop was the strip club, Turbulence. There she found a guy sitting by himself counting money. He noticed the pony while he was doing so and addressed her, “Hey, aren’t you the one who helped Bruno some time ago?”

“You mean the one who wanted me to drive a few strippers around Stilwater so they could satisfy a bunch of clients with weird fetishes while I spent hours dodging news vans and other things that show up out of thin air but are really just randomly spawned because of game mechanics and are programmed to be reckless drivers?” Pinkie said without a care.

The guy, Jack, decided to ignore the last part for the sake of avoiding an existential crisis. “Uhh...yeah. You wanna do it again?”

Pinkie nodded, “Yuppers.”

“Okay, car’s out back.” Jack pointed to the back of the building.

The task went about the same as last time except it was Pinkie using the paintball gun this time to cause accidents when some news vans were being particularly aggressive. Pinkie was still adverse to killing people so whenever a client requested someone get taken out, Pinkamena had to take over for a moment so her sister wouldn’t have to do it. Apparently, the murder fetish was more common in Stilwater than the madmare thought.

To Pinkamena’s disappointment, while they got the usual payment, they also ended up with clothes to expand Playa’s wardrobe. At that moment, the madmare wondered if she should just let Playa handle the task of driving prostitutes around but thought better since she was taking the cash for herself anyway.

The other activity in the airport neighborhood was in a garage not far from the airport itself. Pinkie met with a man with a deep gravelly voice and wearing a brown overcoat and hat.

The man, Ralph, was a man who was strictly business. “My shipping company is fucked and I need help. I’ve got a list of shipments from our competitors ...you go and rob these mother fuckers blind, ya hear me? You keep whatever money you make, I just want those bastards to be hurtin’. You in?”

Pinkie nodded vigorously and left the garage to fetch Ralph’s cars. While neither mare were still sure what stealing a few cars had to do with stealing shipments, as long as they were getting paid it didn’t matter.

The first half of the requested stolen cars were taken straight from the remnants of the Carnales themselves. While the response from the gang was typical, the gang still tried to pursue the party mare alongside the police who pursued her for their own reasons. Neither group could keep up with Pinkie and quickly gave up after a few minutes of chase. The last four vehicles were not met with Carnales resistance but the police used stronger measures to try and stop the party mare and failed. The biggest embarrassment to the police was when she stole one of their SWAT vehicles and got away with it.

Once again, the mare was rewarded with cash and human clothes. As tempted as Pinkamena was to shoot Ralph in the back for the useless reward, she decided her energy would be better spent taking the last Carnales stronghold.

Pinkamena dialed her phone and invited Playa and Johnny to help her take over Charlestown. Once the three arrived near the Charlestown warehouse, Johnny updated them on the situation.

“Thanks for lettin’ me in on the fun,” Johnny said. “On my way here, Julius told me that Angelo wanted to call in more muscle after what you did to Victor. We’re gonna make sure Angelo doesn’t get his money’s worth.

Taking out the initial defenses in the warehouse was effortless as each took out two of the defenders. All that remained was to wait for the hired help to arrive. To entertain the trio in the meantime, wave after wave of Carnales arrived to secure the warehouse. Ultimately, the entertainment turned into a killing competition between Johnny and Pinkamena while Playa was disqualified for being sorta mute. No sense playing if you aren’t even going to say how many you killed.

Johnny sprayed several waves of Carnales with arcs of bullets from his assault rifle while Pinkamena started throwing molotovs and grenades into those using the dead as human shields against the gunfire. When Pinkamena’s Pinkie Sense went off to warn her of a large number of Carnales coming their way, she threw a number of pipe bombs at the entrance she was expecting them to approach. Once the cars arrived, they were met with a number of explosions that totaled most of the cars and damaged the ones nearby. In the back of the wave were a pair of muscular thugs carrying RPGs. One launched a rocket at Pinkamena only for her to pull out a huge U-bend pipe which the rocket flew into and out in the direction of the one who launched it. The hitman got a facefull of RPG before it blew his face and head into a bloody paste that landed on the wall behind him. The explosion also sent everyone nearby flying while some caught fire.

“Way to aim buddy…” Pinkamena yelled as she tossed the pipe away.

The other hitman decided to take his chances with someone who wasn’t a cartoonishly crazy pony and aimed his RPG at Playa. Of course by then, Playa and Johnny had already gotten too close for him to use his launcher without consequence so he settled for his shotgun but ended up getting peppered by Playa’s shotgun instead while Johnny was assisting with his assault rifle turning the guy into swiss cheese. The hitman was stubborn, however, but as he was about to retaliate while the others were reloading, a knife flew into his left eye to force him to focus on the pain instead of the fight. Another wave of bullets finished him off.

“So who won?” Johnny asked. “I got twenty-eight.”

“That last one was only partial credit since that was a three way assist kill. Thirty-three by the way. I counted the number that got roasted when they drove over those pipe bombs. I counted twenty-six for you and twenty from Playa.”

“What!?” Johnny exclaimed. “That last one was so my kill, even if Playa was helpin’ and you threw a knife in his eye. How did you count all our kills anyway?”

Pinkamena giggled while she pulled her knife out of the hitman’s eye socket, “Never underestimate someone who can keep track of the names of everypony in her hometown. And I know the names of every pony that lives in that town.”

Johnny grunted, “Fine, you win this time but next time’s gonna be different.”

As the trio exited the warehouse, Playa got a call from his phone from Dex. Pinkamena’s sensitive hearing was able to pick up on the call: “Hey man, I checked out that address Manuel gave us. It’s legit. Pick me up at the church; I want to be there when we take that bastard out.”

Johnny, Playa and Pinkamena drove back to the church to pick up Dex. On the way, Johnny and Pinkamena talked about some of the kills they made in the past. Pinkamena mentioned the time she tricked the Colombians into killing Hector Lopez and how she captured Victor Rodriguez and tried out the Colombian execution technique she learned from Orejuela. Johnny discussed a few of the kills he made in the past as well.

The trio arrived at the church just in time as Playa was starting to feel like a third wheel. Dex saw the car pull up and quickly hopped into it. “I know this isn’t my style, but after that shit at the church, I wanna make sure Angelo gets what’s comin’ to him,” he said.

“Finally startin’ to talk sense, Dex,” Johnny said.

On the way to the Lopez mansion, Dex mentioned his distrust for Manuel and how he could sell them out whenever he wanted. Pinkamena countered that she’d sell someone out too if they decided to piss her off. The rest of the trip was spent in silence while Dex thought about what she said.

Once they drove up to the mansion, Dex requested for Playa not to let him get killed.

The four jumped out of their car and started attacking every Carnales at the mansion, and there were a lot of them. However, the defenders, while numerous, were also armed with basic equipment and had little protection from the firepower brought against them. Angelo ran across the terrace of the mansion and took cover in another room in the house. The Saints ran into the mansion and up the stairs, dropping everyone wearing a red shirt.

Soon the group ran across the terrace and found Angelo holed up in the room prepared to shoot anyone that entered. Unfortunately for him his gun jammed and he jumped out the window and down to the ground. Playa shot a few rounds at Angelo as he fled for his garage and wounded him. Playa, Pinkamena and Johnny jumped to the ground level to give chase but Angelo had gotten into his car and drove off. Dex drove up to Playa and demanded he get in so they could chase him.

Unfortunately, Dex in his rush or perhaps on purpose had left Johnny and Pinkamena behind. Sighing their irritation at the Saints lieutenant, the duo decided to clear out the rest of the mansion’s defenders and left the matter of Angelo to Dex and Playa.

The task of removing the Carnales presence in the mansion took about ten minutes since there were few left after the initial rampage. However, Johnny was still a little salty about getting left behind while Dex and Playa went after Angelo.

“Much as I love this kind of cleanup, sucks that we didn’t get a shot at Angelo,” Johnny complained.

“Actually, I doubt Dex and Playa will be able to take out Angelo, not with either of them driving,” Pinkamena said.

“What do ya mean?”

“Angelo is reckless and hotheaded, kinda like you, no offense. He’s probably going to pull some stupid stunt where he will get lucky and pull it off, leaving the two of them in the dust. Dex is too careful with his driving and Playa couldn’t drive his way out of a cereal box.

“I have a good idea where Angelo is going to go and I say we head him off.”

Johnny had a feeling that whatever the mare was cooking up it was going to be amazing, “So what’s the plan?”

As Playa was returning to the church, Dex drove up next to him and demanded that he get into his car immediately and drive them to the airport. With precious seconds to spare, the duo arrived at the airport in time.

Angelo was shouting at his girlfriend, Luz, on the phone who was having trouble deciding what shoes to take with her. Angelo became extremely impatient with her but still gave her a chance to come with him before the plane took off.

Angelo’s plans with Luz were interrupted however when a car started barreling its way into the airport. When Angelo saw the car, he knew he was out of time and decided to board the plane without Luz.

Thankfully for Angelo, the intruders were being kept busy trying to dodge his elite Carnales who actually knew how to aim a rocket launcher so he would have time to escape Stilwater.

Unfortunately for Dex and Playa, they spent too much time dealing with the rocket launchers and the plane ended up taking off.

“Fuck, we were so close,” Dex whined.

Angelo sat back in his private jet and breathed a sigh of relief as he had managed to escape with his life intact. Sure, he had abandoned Luz, but she decided to fall for that Colombian instead of staying faithful to him. He swore to return to Stilwater one day and avenge his brother. He would return with a well trained army that would utterly crush the Saints for thinking they could stand against the oldest and strongest gang in Stilwater.

“I’m gonna go take a shit,” one of Angelo’s bodyguards said before he sat up and headed to the lavatory.

“[Make sure you spray,] the last thing I need is to spend the rest of this flight smelling your shit,” Angelo said.

Angelo heard some soft sounds coming from the lavatory after the bodyguard went inside but didn’t think much of it. The sounds grew louder and what sounded like impacts could be heard.
“[Fuck man,] do you need a laxative or something?”

The sound of flushing could be heard and the lavatory door opened a few seconds later. Angelo did not expect to see a Saint walking out. The Saint had white hair that was black at the roots, wore a pair of sunglasses, a purple jacket and had a look that told him he was looking forward to kicking his ass.

Angelo jumped out of his seat and pulled out his pistol and took aim at the Saint.

Behind Angelo, the door to the cockpit opened and the strangest looking creature emerged. She was a pink-colored equine-like creature with a long dark pink mane and tail and an image of three balloons on her flank. She had a look of sadistic glee on her face.

He was surrounded on both sides and this time Victor was not coming to save him. No one was coming to save him.

Just as he was about to fire a round at Johnny, the Saint grabbed his arm with the gun in hand and twisted it until it fell out of socket, dropping the gun. Angelo leaned back and tried to pull away from Johnny but Pinkamena used the opportunity to turn around and buck him with both rear hooves into his lower spine, severing it. With his legs crippled, Angelo fell to the floor. He tried using his last good arm to reach for his gun but was grabbed by Johnny who pulled that arm out of socket.

Rendered unable to fight, Angelo only had his words left, [“Burn in hell you bastards!”]

Pinkamena decided to clear up any misunderstandings for Angelo, “Before we kill you Angie, I want to let you in on who really killed your brother and enforcer. You see, Angie, I had a police recorder planted on Hector without his knowledge. All I had to do was let the Colombians know that it was there and they made their own assumptions. I personally captured and killed Victor with my own hooves. All Manuel did was tell me of a really interesting Colombian execution method. As for Luz, that was your own petty jealousy that blinded you. But with how you are now, I doubt she would stay with you. Doesn’t matter anyway as it seems as if a bird has clogged the engine which will lead to this plane crash landing into the runway...at least that’s what the media will say. Bye-bye.”

With that, Pinkamena bucked Angelo back into the cockpit that the mare had sabotaged before she exited the cockpit. Johnny and Pinkamena both put on a parachute bag and opened the main door to the plane and jumped out of the plane. The sound of cursing in Spanish could be heard for two seconds before fading in the distance.

Dex and Playa watched as the plane that carried Angelo was coming back and was heading for the runway at a bad angle. As smart as Dex was, he knew where the matter was headed so he drove away from where the plane was likely to crash. After he heard the impact, he looked up again and saw Johnny and Pinkamena coming down from the sky with parachutes. Palm met face, “Fuck, did I really just get outplayed by Johnny and Pinkamena?”

Before he could lament about how two psychoes beat him to the punch with Angelo, a red car drove up next to his car. A woman with a bag exited the vehicle while Playa pointed his pistol at her. “Oh my god!” she exclaimed.

“What are you doing here?”

“I--I--was supposed to leave with Angelo.”

Dex looked at the bag, “So what’s in here? Guns? Money? Some uncut shit? ...Shoes?”

“Actually, they’re this season’s new--”

Playa interjected, “Bullshit, that’s last year’s fall collection.”

“Spoken like a guy who keeps a diverse wardrobe,” Pinkamena said as she and Johnny approached the scene.

“Fuck, whatever, let’s just go you two. I need a drink or three after today,” Dex said.

“That bad of a mood, huh?” Johnny said.

“Fuck you, Johnny.”

“So what am I supposed to do now?” Luz asked.

“I don’t fucking care.”

“I have no place to go!”

“See answer ‘A’.”

“But you can’t just leave me here!”

“How about this, You drive away as fast as you can and I won’t use your internal organs as ingredients for my next batch of cupcakes which I will feed to the Rollerz,” Pinkamena threatened while brandishing her knife.

Luz quickly dove into her car and drove off in a panic, knocking over various objects in her reckless escape.

“That...was dark. But at least you got the message across.” Dex muttered.

Pinkamena and Johnny took Angelo’s car and drove back to the church since Dex’s car was a two seater.

With the leadership dead, the Carnales gang dropped their flags as the news hit them. All assets owned by the Lopez brothers were seized by the Saints.

Two gangs had fallen and one gang was all that stood between the Saints and total control of the city.

The Final Gang

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Pinkamena took a look at the map and was pleased to see that the Saints owned nearly all of the city. Only the seven neighborhoods owned by the Westside Rollerz were all that stood between the Saints and total ownership of the city, in a sense.

Compared to the Vice Kings and Los Carnales, the Westside Rollerz were the newest gang of the three, with the Saints being the actual newest, and had the least number of neighborhoods to start out with, even if you included Harrowgate.

While Pinkamena was examining what little she knew about the remaining gang, Pinkie chimed in with a question she had been ignoring until now: “So Mena, you give any thought on what you’re gonna do after taking over the city?” Pinkamena’s tense reaction to her counterpart’s question told Pinkie that she hadn’t thought about it. “You know we can’t just go around randomly murdering people all the time. I can understand you killing the meanies of the other gangs, the murders because you were helping somepony for the money to a lesser extent, but what are you going to do when there are no more favors to be done and no more gangs to wipe out?”

Pinkamena was silent for a full minute, stunned because she had put no thought to her own future. She had always gone with the flow of her situation and hoped that she would eventually find her purpose. She always knew that she was not destined to take over her family’s rock farm because otherwise she would have gotten her cutie mark in rock farming a long time ago.

For years before her imprisonment, she had a desire to get into fights and engage in the few vices that Equestria had to offer but they were never enough. Killing those stallions for their attempts to rape her had given her a small satisfaction but there was still something missing.

It was after the unnamed creature had sent her to Stilwater that she felt much closer to her destiny than ever. Despite how she felt about Pinkie living her life in a body that was not originally her’s, Pinkamena also felt like she needed to protect her from the horrors of the city which she, herself, had more understanding than her “technically” sister would. Pinkamena could only hope that she could save her sister from being corrupted by the city. No telling what her friends would think if she returned to Equestria a criminally hardened pony.

Still, Pinkamena had a feeling that her place was with the Saints but even then there was still something missing; something important. If she could figure out what it was, she might be able to realize what her role in life is.

“Mena?”

Pinkamena snapped back to reality and shook her head. “Oh, sorry. I don’t really know what I’ll do once the Saints fully own Stilwater. Maybe you can find some honest job in the city somewhere and make a little extra cash. Other times I may be helping the Saints commit crimes like robbing banks or mugging people in the streets. I might even help distribute drugs to the many junkies in this city since we will be working with the Colombian drug cartel. You may not understand, Pinkie, but I’m good at doing illegal things.

“For now, there are ten more contacts on the map and I’d like to pick up the assassination and chop shop lists before we start moving against the Rollerz.”

Thankfully the meeting places for the remaining chop shop and hitman contacts were only a block apart.

Their first stop was a garage in Chinatown, the neighborhood being west of Southern Cross. Inside, Pinkie listened in on a phone conversation the contact was having with someone. The man seemed particularly nervous and possibly borderline desperate as he tried to assure the other person that he will get the order filled on time.

When he hung up, he hung his head in despair, “I am so fucked.” He looked up to see Pinkie at the entrance to the garage, “Or maybe not.” He approached the pony. “I heard about what you did for Samson and Miguel. Think you can help me too? This guy Wong put in a big order and I’m having a shitty time finding the cars he asked for. If I don’t deliver I’m as useful to him as a used condom. What do you think? Wanna help me find a few rides?”

Pinkie nodded, “Mmm-hmm, I was actually going to see Wong about something else but I can tell him that I’ll be helping you get the cars.”

“Thank you, you’re a life saver.” He handed Pinkie a number of photos of different cars and she pronked her way out of the garage to visit her next destination.

Pinkamena’s destination was a nearby teahouse a block away. An employee saw the mare enter and directed her to a table where an elderly man sat. He wore a bowler hat and a black and green shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a motif of a pair of serpent dragons.

The employee acted as a translator as the elderly man introduced himself in Mandarin and invited her to sit in the provided seat which the mare obliged. “It is an honor to meet you; it is rare in this country to find someone with your tenacity.” He placed a series of photos in front of Pinkamena. “Contained inside are the specifics about a group of men who have wronged my family...go speak to them, but they are not to be harmed.”

The translator howled in pain as Wong shot him in the leg with his pistol then placed said pistol on the table as he continued in english, “He heard me wrong. I wish for them all to be dead...do we have a deal?”

Pinkamena put on a cheerful smile, “I like your version better Mr. Wong.” This made the elderly man smile in return. Pinkamena took a moment to examine the photos when she noticed something about one of them. “Hey, I remember her, I shot her in the head when I hijacked an ambulance that one time.”

Wong was surprised by what the madmare said and turned to the translator. The two conversed in Mandarin which turned heated quickly which earned the translator a shot in the other leg. “That was for not telling me sooner.” Wong handed Pinkamena a hundred dollar bill for killing Jackie the EMT.

A sports fan walked into the teahouse a moment later. Pinkamena and Wong both recognized the man but before Wong could point his gun at the man, the sports fan, Alan, keeled over as Wong noticed a bloodstained kitchen knife sticking out between the victim’s eyes. The patrons of the teahouse panicked and fled the building.

Wong turned to Pinkamena, “You work fast,” he said as he handed the mare the bounty for Alan.

Before Pinkamena left to continue her work, she informed Wong that she was also helping Dennis procure the cars that he wanted to which he was glad to see someone reliable helping him out.

Just like the last time from before she engaged the Carnales, Pinkie drove around hunting for the cars that Dennis needed. She found the Peterliner semi cab on the highway where Pinkamena simply killed the driver with her SMG since he was on Wong’s list. While Pinkamena wanted to try something flashy to kill him, Pinkie also needed his semi cab so the madmare ended up compromising.

After a lot of searching, Pinkie found a Nightingale fire engine and an Attrazione parked in the airport district while locating a Halberd, Westbury, Varsity and Raycaster. Each car was given the necessary modifications and handed to Dennis. The Zenith was a bit of a challenge as the model was known to rarely appear in any of four locations and it took a lot of driving to find the last one.

Dennis was very thankful for Pinkie’s help that he not only provided a free car but also a coupon for a year of vehicle repairs at half off. Pinkie thanked the mechanic and left the garage.

Once Pinkie had her fun it was time for Pinkamena to hunt down her prey.

Charles, a rich person, was the madmare’s next victim as she ended up approaching him dressed as a member of Stilwater police. “Someone hasn’t been paying their taxes,” the mare said. “...so it looks like you need to be punished...severely.” Before Charles could run from the fake officer, she pulled out a nightstick and bashed both of his kneecaps. She then proceeded to shatter every bone in his body until he was a mess of organic paste on the ground, dead after the first few minutes.

One particular person witnessed the brutality of the pony’s onslaught while any normal person would scream in terror, this person saw potential. He was the producer of a television station and what he saw was the potential to put on a show that would get his station high ratings but also put down the weirdo population in Stilwater. “A show about psychopaths dressed as cops going around showing everyone the extreme definition of police brutality huh?” He scratched his chin. “The manager needs to hear this idea right away.” He pulled out his cell phone and started making some calls.

Pinkamena walked around town with a bag of weed hanging from her side like a saddlebag. To some it was a stupid idea but to Pinkamena it was a way to bring in the entertainment as she was attacked by police officers and hippies who were too far gone with their weed addictions. She killed anyone who got too close with her pistol until the one she was looking for, Roxanne, showed up to meet her end. Of course, Pinkamena got a bonus as an FBI agent showed up to investigate her deadly fishing scheme. When Pinkamena saw him, she quickly pulled out her assault rifle and filled him full of holes. With that, she crossed Roxanne and Bill off the list.

Juan and Bucky were the last two on her list and Pinkamena couldn’t help but pity them, not because she had to kill them but because she had to kill them. The madmare shot Juan in the face repeatedly until his face was unrecognizable which she saw as a mercy as it was embarrassing enough to be running around in public in nothing but a speedo which left little to the imagination. In Bucky’s case, he was in a hot dog costume. He did not look like he was advertising any food establishment except to tell everyone that he was dressed as food. For his sake, Pinkamena tackled him to the ground, pulled the pin off a grenade and stuffed it in his suit before running away, leaving the mascot to spend his last few moments panicking.

When she returned to Wong, he was pleased to not only get his cars but everyone he wanted dead were now dead. In gratitude, he offered his services to the Saints and provided the mare with a platinum shotgun, a platinum RPG launcher and a coupon for half off all weapons at any Friendly Fire in Stilwater. Pinkamena was overwhelmed with gratitude that she kissed Wong on the cheek before leaving. While this surprised the elderly man, he let the act slide since she did him a huge favor.

With the assassinations and most of the hijackings taken care of, Pinkamena called Playa and Lin to let them know she was ready to get started on dealing with the Rollerz. Playa and Pinkamena arrived at the Ultor Dome and hid themselves until the undercover Saint was alone.

Lin approached her car alongside a couple of Rollerz who were examining her car. Lin was being aloof with the two so she could get rid of them. The two finally got the message and walked off. “Assholes,” she muttered. Playa and Pinkamena emerged from their hiding place and the three approached each other. “I swear to God, we’re not going to be able to kill these bastards fast enough.” She took a deep breath to calm herself before smoking a cigarette. “Aside from macho bullshit, I haven't heard much. The only interesting news I got is that a shipment of high performance cars is coming in today. It’s not much, I know, so we’re gonna make the best of it. Jack the truck carrying the cars before it makes its delivery and take it to Samson. He’ll load up the cars with a few surprises, then finish the delivery. Now get outta here before someone sees us.”

This mission was straightforward. Once Playa found the Peterliner carrying the shipment, he drove alongside the vehicle while Pinkamena jumped onto the truck cab. Playa dealt with the escort while Pinkamena killed the truck driver with a bo-duke-en into the windshield and smashed his ribs with her hooves before tossing his body onto the highway while Pinkie took over and handled driving the truck to Samson’s garage in Saint’s Row. Resistance was minor as the pursuing Rollerz ended up destroying their vehicles by smashing themselves against the trailer.

Once the truck was delivered, Pinkie and Playa could only wait until Samson finished his modifications before their efforts against the Rollerz could continue. Playa spent this time spraying over old Carnales graffiti and collecting CDs on the ground in those areas while Pinkie pulled up her map to see what contacts were left that she could assist.

Deep Undercover

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After Pinkie had delivered a shipment of cars to Samson to have them rigged, Playa and the party pony decided to go their separate ways to do their own things. Playa decided to drive around the former Carnales neighborhoods to find Carnales tags and paint over them.

Pinkie decided to check out the nearest activity which was in Copperton. Once again, Pinkie found herself in another garage and another grease monkey needed assistance. The mechanic was busy working on a car and was listening to music too loud for him to notice her coming in. Upon thinking of a way to prank the guy, Pinkie pulled out the friendly version of her party cannon and fired it. The blast was loud enough to cause the mechanic to jump high enough to bump his head on the hood of the car. “Ow!” he shouted.

Pinkie was on her back laughing uncontrollably while kicking her hooves in the air. If the pony were anyone else, the mechanic would be furious but he knew the pony’s reputation for hijacking cars. Instead of being angry he decided to let it go and laugh with the pony. After all, it was a little funny when he thought about it.

Once the two finished laughing, the mechanic introduced himself as Phil while shaking her hoof with his greasy hand. Pinkie didn’t mind the grease though since she often helped the Cake family in Ponyville clean the equipment in addition to baking.

“Glad you’re not afraid to get a little dirty. I’ve got a list of shipments that need jacking. Do this and I’ll get you your very own Attrazione,” Phil said.

The offer was tempting for Pinkie, the one time she hijacked an Attrazione, she was impressed by how fast it went and was a little sad that she had to have it delivered to a chop shop. Of course, she didn’t need any motivation to hijack cars.

Just like the last few times she hijacked cars, she had to steal models from the gang members, or in this case, the Rollerz. Of the eight vehicles, five of them were Rollerz vehicles and the gang was furious with her when she stole one of their Quasars. While she also stole a taxi and a Thorogood truck, she also had to steal a SWAT van from the police who were furious with the mare as well, especially since she stole two FBI vehicles in the past.

In the end, neither the Rollerz or the police could keep up with the party mare and gave up the chase while Pinkie drove out of the garage with her own Attrazione and was also given the SWAT van she stole as a bonus which she left for Playa to play with if he wanted.

By the time Pinkie was finished stealing cars, Playa found her while she was driving around in her new car. She had time to have it customized and painted pink with her cutie mark over the driver side door while the other side remained blank. The front was shaded a darker pink which faded to a bright pink toward the rear of the vehicle.

Playa jumped into Pinkie’s car and she drove to the southern part of the Chinatown neighborhood to deal with another request from a contact of the Saints. Since Samson needed more time to rig the shipment and deliver it to the Rollerz, Pinkie felt like it wouldn’t hurt to take care of another activity.

When the location turned out to be another law firm, the duo knew what was coming so Pinkamena took over and Playa could only sigh as he knew he was about to feel a lot of pain.

The contact, Seth, showed off his law degree that he spent a mere five months to attain since one normally spends three years in law school to attain a degree.

After introductions, he began advertising his insurance fraud scheme which both have heard before twice so Pinkamena simply opened the lawyer’s filing cabinet and took the file she needed to get her task over with. Neither were interested in Seth’s babbling.

While Playa was getting himself beaten within an inch of his life by cars driven by really bad drivers, Pinkamena made other pedestrians join Playa in the hospital by knocking them into traffic. She also tested people’s car insurance policies by scaring the drivers into swerving into other cars by firing a few rounds of her pistol into their car. This also served to make the drivers collect on health insurance policies since they did not escape their crash unscathed.

Since Playa was too badly beaten up to collect his reward, Pinkamena did it for him. Both received some special reactive armor that absorbed some explosive impacts as well as a device that let them recover faster after being injured.

An hour after defrauding the insurance companies yet again, Pinkamena received a call from Lin who told her and Playa to meet her at the nightclub at the Misty Lane suburbs and that Samson had accomplished his task.

On the way there, Pinkamena realized that she could blow Lin’s cover by just being near her. She was the only pony in town after all. Once they arrived at the club, Pinkamena had Playa head into the club to contact Lin while she let Pinkie take over so she could eavesdrop on the conversation using whatever logic-defying abilities she would use. Once she secured a position in a place people wouldn’t normally look, she used whatever spying equipment she had to listen to Lin’s one-sided conversation.

“Try not to look so conspicuous,” Lin said before mumbling to herself, “At least that pony has sense to not follow him in here.” Once they found a more spacious place on the dance floor, Lin continued, “You two did good, but we’re not done yet. Those cars you two stole have been rigged to blow once the engine reaches a high enough temperature. I’ve heard your pony friend is a decent racer. I need her to make sure those cars get nice and hot. There’s a race going down in Chinatown tonight, and I think she should give them some tough competition. I know these guys. If she’s in the lead for the final stretch, they’re gonna hit the nitrous to blow past her. When they do, boom. As soon as those cars are wrecked, get the hell outta there.” Lin thanked Playa for the dance and walked away, leaving Playa alone so he left the club at the entrance while Pinkie snuck out of the building.

Once outside the nightclub, Pinkie and Playa approached her car to head to Chinatown to participate in the race. Before that happened, however, Troy drove himself between the duo and her car. Given the blue coloring of the vehicle he was driving, Troy looked like he wanted them to participate in the race incognito. Since Playa had a feeling that he was unnecessary for the mission, he went off to do something else while Pinkie took the driver’s seat of Troy’s car and Troy moved to the passenger seat.

“Alright, let’s get to the race…” Troy said, “...look, I don’t care what Lin says, you get me next to those cars and I’ll take care of the Rollerz, to hell with this lap-race bullshit.”

“How are you gonna do that?” Pinkie asked. “We need to get them to activate their nitrous to make them blow themselves up.”

“Don’t worry, all I need to do is wound their pride as racers with a few taunts and they’ll hit the nitrous just to try and show you up.”

“Okie dokie lokie.”

The rest of the trip was spent with Troy voicing his concerns about Lin being undercover for too long might cause her to change her mentality to think more like the ones she was spying on. Pinkamena, who was listening, had a feeling that Troy was speaking from experience.

Despite what Lin said, the race wasn’t happening in Chinatown because the race was starting nearby in the suburbs. While Pinkamena wanted to suspect Lin of lying, Pinkie chalked it down to lazy developers who couldn’t be bothered to correct such an error.

Regardless, the race took place in the suburbs and the race was a checkpoint race despite Troy calling it a lap race which, again, might have been laziness on the developers’ part.

Once the race began, Pinkie easily drove past the racers while calling all of them Sunday drivers as her lead increased with each second. Pinkie’s actions and words, and the fact that they were being shown up by an animal who looked like she had no business being in front of a steering wheel, ended up infuriating the drivers to the point where all three of them activated their nitrous at the same time to catch up with the party mare...which ended up about as well as one would expect when driving cars rigged to blow when someone hit their nitrous.

Troy’s eyes widened as he saw the destruction going on behind him. He could only whistle to express how impressed he was about the mare’s work. “Wow, Lin doesn’t fuck around and neither do you. Now let’s get out of here before more Rollerz show up.” Pinkie drove Troy back to the church.

Despite the fact that the race had nothing to do with Chinatown, the Saints still rolled in and took over the neighborhood.

After Pinkie returned Troy to the church, she received a phone call from Lin. Pinkie answered her phone to see what the undercover Saint wanted.

“I think I got a way to get in deeper with the Rollerz. But first, I need you to head to Pleasant View just west of Shivington. There’s a storage facility there where the Rollerz stash some of their high performance cars. When you finish destroying their cars, meet me at the tea house in Chinatown.” Lin hung up without waiting for a reply.

Clearing out the storage facility was relatively simple for Pinkamena as she cleared out the initial defenders with a few molotov cocktails before planting one of her overcharged party mines at the entrance to the storage facility in case anyone else decided to pay the place a visit. In the meantime, Pinkamena decided to try out her new RPG launcher that she got from Wong and blew up each car she saw.

As she was blowing up cars, two more Rollerz cars drove into the facility but one ended up getting launched upward and landed in some explosive barrels. The impact sparked the fuel in the barrels and caused them to explode, taking the car with it. The other car was taken out by a well timed explosion from one of the madmare’s grenades.

All that was left was the cleanup which was going to be the facility owner’s problem after she blew up the last of the cars.

Playa joined Pinkamena as they entered the teahouse to see what Lin’s next move was going to be.

After blowing off some random person who offered her a light for her cigarette by tossing his lighter across the room, Playa and Pinkamena joined her.

Lin sighed as she began, “Things are moving too slow. We gotta step it up. I hear a guy named Joseph Price calls the shots. I don’t know much about him ‘cept that he’s friends with some mechanic named Donnie. If we get in good with Price’s crew, we’ll always be one step ahead of those fuckers. Here’s the plan. Go and tear up Donnie’s shop. Right when you’re about to finish off Price’s buddy, I’ll rush in and save the day. Make it look good, but don’t you dare mess up my car. If we’re lucky, Donnie will arrange a meet with Price.” She thanked Playa for buying her tea and left the teashop.

Once Playa and Pinkamena arrived, the two charged into Donnie’s shop and started shooting up the place. Pinkamena was cackling like a maniac while she got up close to each of the Rollerz and sliced them into chunks of meat. Playa provided covering fire while the madmare had her fun.

Donnie overheard the commotion but especially the maniacal laughter that came with the sound of slicing and screaming. It was then that Donnie began to think he was living a horror movie, especially as the high pitched voice started calling his name, “Dooooooniiiiiiieeeeee…” Just hearing that voice made Donnie want to scream at the top of his lungs in fear, which he did as he fled out the back of his shop to get away.

He was never so glad to see someone drive up to him and tell him to get inside which he did while sliding over the car’s hood and he quickly got into the car.

“I think you scratched my hood,” the driver said.

“Sorry, but we gotta get outta here! Drive! Drive!”

Playa ran out of the exit Donnie came out and started shooting at the car, leaving a few holes in it.

“Mother fucker…” the driver said as she started shooting at Playa. She then drove away. Playa got into a nearby car and drove after them.

Pinkamena, however, was having too much fun slaughtering the Rollerz that she failed to notice that her partner was gone until it was too late. She shrugged. “Meh. Hopefully he’ll remember the plan and let them get away after a convincing chase.

The sound of a car exploding was heard in the distance.

“Or, he can end up crashing his car while chasing Lin because he drives like Rainbow Dash flies while she’s experimenting with stunts.” She shrugged again. “Oh well, I’m pretty sure I scared Donnie well enough that it wouldn’t matter anyway.”

With that, Pinkamena headed over to Playa in order to know where he was when she called an ambulance to pick him up.

Staying Ahead of the Rollerz

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Once Donnie had been scared away by Pinkamena, the rest of the Rollerz ended up abandoning the Sommerset apartment district to the Saints which meant that the Rollerz only had four neighborhoods left under their control and the Saints were only four neighborhoods away from full control of the city. All the Saints needed to do was claim the last four neighborhoods and deal with Joseph Price and whoever else was helping him lead the Rollerz.

Since Pinkamena had a little free time while Lin helped Donnie recover from his ordeal, it was time to check off another of the six remaining contacts off her list.

The nearest contact to her current location in the apartments district was a little away from Pleasant View. Since the location was marked as another round of pimp killing and ho snatching, she waited a few hours for Playa to get out of the hospital after crashing his car chasing Lin. Pinkamena could only hope he learned from his mistake and actually practice his driving but she wouldn’t hold her breath on that.

Pinkamena contacted Playa a few hours later and it took him another half an hour to get to her location. While she could have handled the activity, Playa was better at rounding up the hos than she was. The pimp outfit he would likely wear for the activity might help as well.

Now that Pinkamena thought about it, the past instances of dealing with these pimps and hos had always ended up with a reward that was suited for Playa and Pinkie had just informed her, after looking at a walkthrough which Pinkamena didn’t question because she was dealing with Pinkie, that the rewards this time would also be for Playa’s benefit. Knowing that, Pinkamena decided to let Playa handle dealing with this contact and move on to the next one.

The next activities were around the Ultor Dome which was a massive stadium. The one activity that the mare hadn’t encountered yet was one of them. When she learned that it was an activity about smashing cars against each other, she decided to pass on that and leave it to Playa once he got around to it. To make sure he did find it though, she called Playa and informed him about the event at the Ultor Dome that he might like to participate in.

The remaining activity in the area was more to Pinkie’s speed as it was another series of races which her sister (Pinkamena decided that she might as well refer to her as that from now on since it was technically true) quickly jumped at the chance to do so.

This contact, Libby, didn’t bother explaining her situation and just let her participate. Pinkie called for a wheel woman to bring her Attrazione so she could race with her favorite car.

The competition was hardly a competition as Pinkie dominated her opponents in a series of five checkpoint races, two lap races and a point to point race. The party pony’s cartoonish maneuvers once again made the other racers get their sanity checked.

After the race, Pinkie received a phone call from Lin. The undercover Saint sounded a little exasperated as she almost yelled over the phone, “Fuck girl, I wanted you to scare Donnie not make him piss himself.” She took a deep breath and let it out. “But after what I heard about what you did to Tanya I shoulda known better. Anyway, I managed to calm Donnie enough that he decided to set up a meeting with the higher-ups of the Rollerz. Stop by and listen to what’s being said. I’ll text you the address.”

The address she received led her to a mansion in the Misty Lane neighborhood at the far northwestern corner of Stilwater. Pinkie had switched out with Pinkamena who secretly arrived at the mansion and snuck around any Rollerz guards in order to find herself the best vantage point to eavesdrop on the imminent meeting.

In the living room she saw a man sitting on a white couch and a middle aged looking man standing in front of a brown chair. The one on the couch was bald and he wore a black muscle shirt, sunglasses, black leather gloves, and black leather pants that were blue at the ends. The other man had black hair that was mostly greyed and he wore a black business suit with a blue and black striped tie.

Pinkamena listened in as the meeting began.

“So he’s okay? That’s great,” The first guy said. “I’m just glad he’s alive even if he’s shaken by the experience.”

“Yes, how could we possibly score dime bags without him?” The other guy’s tone was overflowing with sarcasm.

“Oh come on, Uncle Will, he’s not that--”

“Sup Price?” Donnie said.

The first guy, who Pinkamena could only guess was Joseph Price, the leader of the Rollerz, got off the couch to greet Donnie, “You scared the shit outta me, Donnie.”

“I scared the shit outta me.”

The other man, who Pinkamena caught the name of Will, noticed Lin entering the living room before uttering another sarcastic remark, “Donnie, it’s always a pleasure when you bring strangers into my house.”

“Aw fuck, I forgot, this is--”

Lin introduced herself, interrupting Donnie before he continued, “She totally saved my ass Mr. Sharp, she’s a helluva driver.”

“I’m the best racer that ever came out of Chinatown,” Lin bragged.

“How come I’ve never heard of you?” Price asked.

“Cause I got tits.”

“Is that what you call those?” That comment earned Price a punch to the face. “I suppose I deserved that.”

“Yeah, you did.”

“My nephew has a...unique sense of humor,” Sharp commented.

“That was supposed to be funny?” Lin asked.

“I thought it was, until you hit me in the face.”

“Yeah, then it was hilarious.” That earned Donnie a middle finger from Price.

Sharp interrupted the exchange by changing the focus back to the important business, “Joseph, you better hurry. You don’t want to miss your meeting.”

“Sorry, I gotta take off. Lin, it was nice meeting you. I’ll catch you later Donnie.” Price left the mansion.

“So we’re finally hitting that convoy huh?” Donnie asked. This piqued Pinkamena’s attention.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Donnie,” Sharp said with a tone that revealed the smallest hint of irritation, as if he felt like Donnie was giving away too much.

“Sure you--”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Donnie,” Sharp repeated with a bit more edge in his tone.

Donnie finally got the message and simply assured Lin that Price would be back soon.

“As stimulating as this conversation is, I’m afraid I need to make some calls. If you’d excuse me.” With that, Sharp left the living room to make his calls. As much as Pinkamena wanted to know who Sharp was calling, she needed to move out and keep whatever convoy the Rollerz were after out of their hands.

On her way out, the madmare did make a mental note to keep on her hooves when dealing with Will Sharp. Based on how he talked, his discretion over private matters, and his overall secretive nature told Pinkamena that Sharp might be the real leader of the Rollerz while using Price as the figurehead leader of the gang.

Filing that bit of research away, Pinkamena had some convoy raids to intercept. Thankfully, she knew where each truck was located because Pinkie had put the trucks’ locations into her mental GPS (she wasn’t gonna question how). The first set of convoy raiders were dealt with when Pinkamena drove up beside each Rollerz car and tossed a grenade behind their seats while their attention was divided between the pony and the truck. None of them noticed before the grenades destroyed the vehicles and their passengers.

The second set of Rollerz raiders that attacked the second truck near the Ultor Dome each had their windows down as they needed to do so to shoot at the truck. Pinkamena took advantage of that by setting the insides of their cars aflame with a few well tossed molotovs.

The third delivery truck was stationary while the Rollerz were already there trying to crack it open. Since the matter called for something less flashy, Pinkamena jumped out of her car and engaged the Rollerz crew in melee combat and painted the cars and the truck in blood and viscera.

With the convoy defended, Pinkamena returned to the mansion to observe the reactions of the leadership.

Donnie and Lin were talking about what car designs they hate when Price and Sharp came into the living room with Sharp being surprised that the entire convoy escaped.

“How did this happen?” Sharp asked.

“That pony from Saint’s Row fucked up our boys,” Price said.

“You’re telling me that your associates couldn’t handle one simple farm animal?”

“I don’t think that pony’s as simple as you think. I heard she fucked up the Vice Kings and the Los Carnales real bad. They say she killed some of their leaders in a gruesome way.”

“First of all, remember your Spanish lessons, saying ‘the’ and ‘los’ is redundant. Second, these are just rumors. A horse would not even be able to wield a gun, let alone take on a whole gang. Most likely those slum dwellers from Saint’s Row spread that story just to make the other gangs’ defeat even more embarrassing.”

“I don’t know Mr. Sharp,” Donnie said as he smoked a joint, “...that same pony fucked up my shop alongside this other guy and she was laughing like a deranged psychopath. The screams from my crew and that laugh are gonna give me nightmares for weeks.” He took another puff before Price took the joint.

“Will you stop smoking that shit? I need you to focus,” Price demanded.

“If you need me to focus, I’d pass that shit back.” Donnie coughed up some of the smoke he inhaled.

“Donnie…”

“Alright alright. You got some time before the buyers need those parts right?”

“Buyers?” Lin asked.

“Oh, they’re a bunch of guys overseas that Mr. Sharp kn--” Sharp gave Donnie another reprimand for blabbing confidential information again.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, just think,” Price said.

“Give me some time. I bet Lin and I can whip somethin’ up.”

After that Pinkamena couldn’t get any more useful information but decided to set up a listening device whenever more useful information was going to be uttered in the near future. Pinkamena also decided that Donnie was the type of person not to be entrusted with secrets.

The day after stopping the convoy hijackings, Pinkamena spent some time listening to the goings on at the mansion while in her hiding place in the suburbs. At first she heard Sharp discussing his grievances against Donnie for being incompetant and Price defending his little buddy. She then heard Donnie’s voice as he entered the living room. Donnie was apparently bragging that he had a good plan which involved stealing a few cars to strip them of the parts they needed for Sharp’s mysterious buyers. Price praised Donnie for his idea and left the mansion to get his boys ready to hijack cars. After Price left, Sharp made a sarcastic remark about Donnie’s originality and Lin defended him for some reason, even going as far as threatening him which Pinkamena thought was not a good idea on Lin’s part. Lin walked off with Donnie, likely leaving Sharp by himself.

Right now, it was time for the madmare to inflict some mayhem by dealing with the cars the Rollerz needed. She managed to get to the first car before any Roller hijacker arrived and hijacked the vehicle herself. She drove away with the vehicle while committing vehicular manslaughter upon the hijacker.

The Rollerz began chasing her while she made her way to the second of the list of cars the Rollerz needed. Pinkamena drove by the car and tossed a grenade into the driver’s seat. The hijacker arrived seconds later and opened the door to the car and found the grenade just in time to get a facefull of shrapnel and fire.

On her way to the fourth and final car, she drove by the third and tossed one of her party mines under it so the next hijacker would get to experience the sensation of a flying car for the last few seconds of his life.

The last car was already being hijacked by the Rollerz by the time she got there. Deciding to kill two birds with one stone, she rigged her car with explosives and placed a cinder block on the accelerator while aiming the car on a collision course with the one being driven by the Roller. Once the course was set and the hijacker showed no signs of swerving, she jumped out of the car. The explosion she was hoping for occurred a few seconds later as both cars and the hijacker were up in flames.

Once the list of cars that Lin sent her were checked off, Pinkamena returned to her post to listen in on more conversations with Sharp and Price.

Price was in the middle of a call with Donnie and it sounded like the mechanic was flustered about what happened. The Rollerz leader tried to reassure Donnie that the matter of losing the cars wasn’t his fault before he ended his call and screamed as he threw his phone at the other side of the living room.

“That was productive,” Sharp said with his usual sarcasm.

“That’s the second time that pony fucked us.”

“Three times, if you count the attack on the garage. Quite a coincidence…”

“Whaddya mean?”

“Well, let’s think. The same four people knew about those jobs. If I didn’t sell us out, and you didn’t sell us out, who else is there?”

“Donnie? Donnie may not like it when things get messy, but there’s no way he’d turn on me…”

“Which brings us to…”

“Lin.”

“Bravo.”

“This is gonna be a bitch to explain to Donnie.”

“Luckily, you’re not going to.”

“Whaddya mean?”

“Please, you’re too attached to the boy. I’ll handle this.”

“I don’t give a shit what you do to Lin, but you better not hurt Donnie.”

“Of course, Joseph. I’ll keep that in mind.”

The conversation ended there. There was no doubt that Lin’s cover was blown. If Pinkamena didn’t do something, things were going to get ugly for the undercover Saint. However, in that moment, inspiration struck her as she remembered a certain billboard she passed by a few times.

“I think it’s about time to get to work on my latest work of art,” Pinkamena thought to herself, her trademark evil smile showing.

Flipping the Script

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The situation with Lin’s undercover work had taken a dangerous turn. Of course, Sharp was not as sharp witted as his namesake implied as it only took two counterattacks and an attack on Donnie’s garage for him to suspect Lin as a spy for the Saints.

Pinkamena knew that if the Saints were going to put an end to the Rollerz, Sharp needed to be taken out.

Unfortunately for Pinkamena, her plans would have to be put on hold as she received a phone call from Julius to inform her of some Rollerz activity involving Sharp bribing some corrupt jurors to go easy on some of the Rollerz who were arrested by the police. Julius wanted Pinkamena to raid the apartments in Tidal Spring and take out the jurors.

During her climb up the apartment building, Pinkamena made full use of the HUD in her vision to locate the corrupt jurors while cutting a swathe through the Rollerz resistance protecting the building. Some of the Rollerz were killed when she bucked them off the building. Each housing unit in the building was turned into a horrific murder scene as Rollerz and residents alike were sliced to shreds by Pinkamena’s kitchen knife. Blood and gore sprayed everywhere.

After killing her second juror, she heard the sound of police sirens just outside of the apartment building. Looking over a balcony, Pinkamena noticed police cars and SWAT vehicles surrounding the building while police helicopters hovered over the place.

Pinkamena suspected that this might have been a trap set up by Sharp to get her arrested. Of course, it might have also been possible that the remaining jurors called the police on her. Regardless, she had a job to do and nobody was going to stop her.

After bloodying up the third juror’s house, Pinkamena turned her attention to the other half of the building on the other side of a lane where a few SWAT vans were located. Police resistance was light so she managed to get past them with almost no effort.

For the other half of the building, Pinkamena decided to get some use from her shiny weapons so she pulled out her platinum SMG and her gold pistol and gave each Roller a taste of lead.

The disappointing part of the assault was that the police were next to useless since all they did was sit around. She didn’t have a hostage which should have sent the police swarming at her in waves. But no, all they did was sit around and deny the madmare even a small challenge.

Adding to Pinkamena’s disappointment, once she killed the fifth and final juror, the police backed off and left the apartment with their tails between their legs. “No wonder this city has rampant crime if the police are this useless,” she thought to herself. She honestly couldn’t decide which was more useless, the Stilwater police department or Celestia’s Royal Guard.

First, the Vice Kings had the police going easy on them because they were bribed with a share of the profits from their protection rackets and only when the threat of Monroe’s dirty little secret being exposed was made known did he actually do something useful.

Another incident involving the police was when their headquarters was being attacked and raided for all the stolen drugs. They threw everything they had at the Saints and they still managed to get away. The police should have known where the drugs were headed and yet they gave up when the delivery truck made it to Saint’s Row as if their jurisdiction didn’t reach them.

Regardless of the police’s incompetence, the task was finished, half of the suburbs belonged to the Saints and now it was time to plan her move against Sharp.

As she thought that, her phone rang. As expected, the call came from Lin. Now she had to determine whether or not Sharp had gotten to her yet. Accepting the call, Pinkamena answered, “Yeah?”

“Hey, meet me at the pool hall near the Ultor Dome. The Rollerz are getting into something big.”

“Can you give me any details?”

“No, there are too many around for me to say anything over the phone. Come quickly.” The call ended after that.

“So are we going over there to see what she found out?” Pinkie asked.

“No, I picked up on the desperation in her voice. I should know given how many I’ve tortured so far. Sharp has already made his move and has most likely captured Lin.”

Pinkie gasped. “We have to save her!”

“That would be a bad idea. I can tell Sharp is a clever person. He’s expecting a rescue attempt but that is all part of his trap. He likely intends to get rid of us and Lin at the same time.”

“But we have to do something. We can’t just leave her there.”

“I don’t intend to. What we need is a stick for this mousetrap.”

“Mena, we’re talking about Lin. Why are you suddenly talking about sticks and mice?”

Pinkamena sighed as hoof met face, remembering how much of a ditz her sister can be. “I was being metaphorical. I’m saying we need to use someone to try to rescue Lin in our place and spring the trap. Hopefully Sharp will have a flair for dramatic killings and won't kill them immediately.”

Pinkamena took out her phone and dialed Playa’s number. Once the sound of someone answering their phone reached her ears, she spoke, “Playa, Lin’s been captured at the pool hall at the Ultor Dome neighborhood. Can you go rescue her? I have some business to attend to. Also, keep this call going. I’ll hang up once I don’t need the call going anymore.”

A few minutes later, Pinkamena was observing the pool hall from a rooftop with a pair of binoculars. Playa soon arrived and pulled out his guns and began shooting up the place. As expected, Playa walked into an ambush but the madmare knew the man of few words could handle a few thugs. Once the gunfire died down, Playa’s footsteps could be heard just before a loud, heavy impact could be heard.

“It’s a shame you’re not the pony I’ve heard about. I’ll have to find another way to trap her later,” said the voice of Sharp.

The sound of police sirens could be heard in the distance. “Sounds like the cops are comin’ Mr. Sharp.,” said one of the Rollerz members.

“Let’s take our guests for a ride, shall we?”

Another heavy impact was heard over the phone followed by the sound of bodies being dragged. Pulling out her binoculars, Pinkamena saw the unconscious Playa and Lin being stuffed into the trunk of Lin’s car. As Sharp was driving off in Lin’s car, Pinkamena jumped off the roof and landed in the backseat of someone’s car. Threatening the driver at gunpoint, he fled his car and ran away as fast as he could. Pinkamena got into the driver’s seat and chased after Sharp.

With the majority of Rollerz taken out in the Ultor Dome neighborhood, the Saints moved in and claimed the area.

Pinkamena chased Sharp to the coast where he parked the car near the edge of the water.

“Hey, I think we stopped moving. Are you listening? Are you even alive? Say something!” Lin said before Playa kicked her. “Ow! I’ll take that as a yes. Where the fuck’s my lighter…”

“What are you doing driving Lin’s ride, Mr. Sharp?” Donnie’s voice could be heard outside the trunk.

“I’m glad you could make it, Donnie. There’s something I want you to see,” Sharp said.

“Stay calm, we’re gonna get outta this.” Despite Lin trying to reassure Playa she was clearly concerned that they were going to die.

The trunk opened and Donnie was surprised to find Lin who desperately tried to explain herself to him. Before she could, Sharp shot her and Playa in their chests, each in a lung. “LIN!” Donnie yelled before Sharp shut the trunk.

“Take a deep breath and count to ten, Donnie.”

“Count to ten? You just shot my girl!”

“Yes, it’s tragic,” Sharp said in his usual sarcastic tone. “Could you give me a hand here?” Sharp began pushing the car into the water.

“Why did...why did you…” Donnie said with clear indication of confusion.

“Lin was working with the Saints,” Sharp explained. “Now would you give me a ha-AARRGH!” Sharp fell to his knees. Donnie looked at Sharp to see why he was screaming and discovered a--

“Knife in your back,” came the voice of someone who scared Donnie to no end.

Sharp groaned as he looked behind him to see the pink pony that his nephew and Donnie had been talking about. “You’re the one who has been giving Joseph’s gang such a hard time? Everything about you seems so impossible...your actions, your appearance, even how you managed to throw a knife into my back. How is it that something like you exists?”

“You can think about that while you’re taking their place in that trunk.” Pinkamena then punches Sharp out with a forehoof. She opened the trunk and tossed Playa and Lin out before tossing Sharp inside.

Donnie was shocked about what the mare was about to do. “W-what do you think you’re doing? That’s my best friend’s uncle.”

Pinkamena closed the trunk and pulled out her phone to end her ongoing call with Playa before looking at the mechanic. “And so what? You know the Saints aim to remove the Rollerz from the city and that means Sharp and Price are going down. He tried to kill Lin and Playa and I simply flipped the script on him. Your best friend is next and you’re looking at the pony who played a major role in the downfall of the Carnales and the Vice Kings. Right now, you have three choices: You either drop your flags, change them to purple or you can join your friend’s uncle in the trunk. Choose wisely, Donnie.”

Donnie thought about his choices for about a minute. If he joined the Saints, it would be a huge betrayal to his best friend, one he doubted Price would ever forgive. If he stayed loyal to the Rollerz, he doubted he would see tomorrow if even half of the rumors he heard about the pony were true.

In the end, he only had one choice that wouldn’t be a betrayal to Price but would also let him live. He still cared about Lin so pulled out his phone and dialed 911 to report two injuries at his current location before putting his phone away and driving away in his car, intent on having nothing more to do with the gang war.

Pinkamena couldn’t blame Donnie for the choice he made. Any person in their right mind would have chosen life. She also felt sorry for the mechanic because she was planning to kill his best friend and there was nothing he could do about it without dying in vain.

When Pinkamena thought about it, she probably wouldn’t be able to understand how Donnie felt about losing his friend when she never had friends to begin with. She was pretty much a bitch to the ponies she met in Equestria so she never made any pony friends. Sure, she had the Saints but what was she to them? Julius was pretty much her boss. Troy was an undercover cop who was concealing his true intentions. She didn’t like Dex because he often acted like he was better than everyone else. That mess with trying to meet Manuel Orejuela without consulting Julius was one example. Lin and Playa were associate and partner in crime respectively. She had no idea what she was to Playa since he only spoke once during each gang arc. Johnny might be the closest thing she had to a friend in this world. Pinkie didn’t count of course since they were sisters.

Pinkamena broke from her melancholy and focused on her current task. Summoning her Pie Family technique, she bucked Lin’s car a few hundred feet from the shoreline. “Maybe what I’m about to do next will cheer me up,” she thought.

After the ambulance came and picked up Playa and Lin, Pinkamena pulled out her phone and dialed 555-5966 which was the number for the ‘Eye for an Eye’ voodoo supply business. After explaining her wish to revive someone, the voodoo priest was skeptical about her intentions but decided to do it anyway because apparently the spirits knew what she wanted to do and would grant it anyway because they wanted a good laugh.

Unlocked Homie: Zombie Sharp

Once she dialed the number again, a zombified William Sharp drove up to Pinkamena in a customized Reaper sedan. Once Sharp got out of the car moaning and groaning, the madmare took a photo of the zombie before she addressed him, “Okay Mr. Sharp, welcome to the Saints. Your first lesson is how to defraud insurance companies so go play in traffic.”

The zombie complied with Pinkamena’s request and ran out into the middle of the road just as a number of reckless drivers saw him and freaked out by hitting their accelerators to run him over. They drove away screaming that the zombie apocalypse had begun. Sharp literally fell apart from the impact of the cars as his body parts were scattered all over the road.

Things got worse for Sharp when a number of famous zombie hunters from across the multiverse drove in and got out of their cars, brandishing their favorite weapons before they took aim at the zombie parts and blasted each one until they ran out of ammo and drove back to their respective universes.

Pinkie added to the zombie mutilation by forcing herself back in control of her body and taking out a giant meat tenderizer and screaming, “ZOMBIE! KILL IT! KILL IT!” while repeatedly pounding the remains with her weapon.

Once the zombie was literally paste on the pavement, Pinkamena took over again and took another photo of the remains before she tied both photos to a balloon and sent them toward the Misty Lane suburbs where Price lived.

While Pinkamena felt a little better from overkilling Sharp after her reminiscing, she was not feeling completely better so she decided to distract herself by finding another contact who wanted her to cause havoc.

This contact, Reno, wanted her to distract the cops by destroying stuff while he hid any incriminating evidence against him.

Many places in the city were up in flames by the time the madmare was finished.

The Ultimate Price

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Things were quickly winding down in the war between the Third Street Saints and the Westside Rollerz. Only two neighborhoods stood between the Saints and a complete city takeover. Only Copperton, which stood at around the center of the city, and Misty Lane, where the Rollerz base of operations stood at the far northwest corner of Stilwater, remained.

With William Sharp out of the picture and Donnie no longer associated with the Rollerz, only the brash Joseph Price remained to lead the Rollerz.

Since the gang was practically in its death throes, the time had come to claim the isolated neighborhood in the center of the city.

Before that though, Pinkamena decided to visit Lin and Playa in the hospital. Since Playa was not one for conversation, she decided to see how Lin was doing. She saw the formerly undercover Saint rubbing the place where Sharp shot her. When she saw the pony enter her room she said, “You really saved my ass back there, thank you.”

Pinkamena smiled a little, “Don’t worry about it. Sorry I didn’t warn you sooner, I saw an opportunity to get Sharp out into the open where I could kill him without his guards protecting him. I used Playa to trigger any traps he might have set up for me.”

“How did you know there was a trap?”

“I wasn’t sure, but I was listening to Sharp long enough to give me the impression that he was clever. No doubt he was the brains behind the Rollerz. Taking him out should have been a devastating blow to the gang. No telling how effective Price is going to be leading the gang all by himself though.”

“Yeah, my time with them didn’t leave me any impression that Price was all that bright since he left all the thinking to Donnie and his uncle. Speaking of Donnie, where is he?”

“You saw what happened, I left him with three choices and he chose to drop his flags. Chances are he’s gone into hiding out of shame because he couldn’t choose between you and his best friend.”

“I need to find and talk with him later. For now we need to finish off the Rollerz.”

“One step at a time. The doctors said you and Playa will be discharged tomorrow. We need to take away any refuge from the Rollerz before we assault their headquarters. Tomorrow, I’ll need you and Playa to help take Copperton.”

“I heard something was going on at the receiving station in the truck yard over there. I’ll see you there tomorrow.”

With that Pinkamena left the hospital and decided to spend a night at King’s penthouse because sleeping in a nice bed every now and then can be quite rewarding.

The next day, Pinkamena called up Johnny and had Playa and Lin meet up at the receiving station in Copperton. Johnny thanked her for inviting him to another day of carnage while Playa and Lin checked their ammo to make sure they had enough to defend the receiving station from incoming waves of Rollerz.

“So, has bein’ with the Rollerz taught you how to throw a better punch?” Johnny asked Lin.

“Fuck you, Johnny,” Lin responded.

“Oh? So how much do you put out? Gotta be honest, sex with Eesh ain’t what it used to be, not lately.”

“Would you shut the fuck up about your fucking relationship problems? God!”

It really didn’t matter that the station was a trap set for the Saints because that only meant that Pinkamena and Johnny could have another killing contest. This time, unlike Charlestown, the Rollerz came in from multiple vectors.

Johnny wasn’t playing around this time as he brought some RPGs to obliterate some Rollerz and their cars but mostly to beat Pinkamena’s kill count.

Pinkamena brought out her destructive party cannon to even the playing field since Johnny wasn’t holding back.

Playa and Lin took care of the few who managed to sneak past the two psychopaths.

Once the last of the Rollerz in the area were dead, the four relaxed for a moment until they heard a Peterliner semi cab nearby. Pinkamena used her binoculars to find one more Roller was driving it, likely in an attempt to run everyone over.

The semi barreled through the station, forcing the humans to dive aside to avoid the large vehicle.

What confused the driver was that he was certain there was a pony among the group he was trying to run over but he couldn’t see her anywhere. The click of a pistol was the only sound he needed to hear to know how fucked he was. He slowly turned his head to see the pink pony with a gold pistol pointed at his head. The wicked smile of the pony was present as usual.

“So, wanna play a game of hostage?” she asked.

The driver tried to open his door to escape but he was far too slow as the pony realized what he was attempting and shot him in the head. “Guess not,” she said to no one.

Pinkamena exited the cab and the four saints tallied the kills. Pinkamena and Johnny would have tied this time but the cab driver ended up being the tie breaker, much to Johnny’s frustration.

At the same time of feeling frustrated at losing another killing contest to the mare, Johnny was also curious about her. He had never known anyone who had the same penchant toward slaughter as him. Thinking about it, he considered taking some time to learn more about the pony after the whole gang war business was over.

Once the Saints moved in to claim Copperton, the group went their separate ways for the time being but agreed to regroup once it was time for the final push against the Rollerz.

For the time being, Pinkamena had two more contacts to visit before she completed the list and only one of them required her assistance to a lesser extent so she let Pinkie have some fun while she rested her mind for a little bit.

Pinkie returned to the nightclub where Lin and Playa shared a dance earlier to find the club’s owner. Since Pinkie already knew that the owner wanted her to escort her strippers around town while they satisfy their clients’ fetishes, the owner, Jenna didn’t need to explain much and just pointed her to the car.

The activity went just like the previous two shifts and Pinkie had to wake her sister up a couple of times to kill some target the client really hated. Thankfully she managed to complete another round of escorting before Pinkamena got cranky and killed a client.

Pinkie was not about to tell her sister that all they got for their efforts were a couple more cars for Playa’s growing fleet.

After Pinkie finished her task, her phone rang. The ID showed it was Lin who wanted her to come back to the church to discuss their next move against the Rollerz. Once she got back to the church, she found the Saint sitting near one of the graves in the courtyard. As she approached, Lin noticed her and motioned for her to come closer.

“First of all, thanks again for saving my life. Second, I’m still a little upset that you had to destroy my car to kill Sharp, but I’ll get over it. Third, by now Price should have gotten the message that his uncle is dead. If Donnie hasn’t made contact with him by now, Price is sure to be pissed off which means our only option left is to go to his mansion and take him out before he makes a move.”

“Yeah, well, we might have to rethink that plan,” Troy interrupted.

“What do you mean?”

“Word is, every Roller that Price could find is headed this way.”

“How long do we have?”

“Shit I don’t know. My man says they’re movin’ pretty fast.”

“Damn, we need to take out those Rollerz before they get here. Pinkamena, come with me.” Lin ran for Julius’ car which she asked the man if she could borrow beforehand.

On the way to the rear of the Rollerz convoy Pinkamena made a note to get Playa to part with one of his many cars to give to Lin.

Once on the highway, the convoy came up fast so the madmare prepared her party cannon to start wrecking every blue car on the way. If some innocent bystanders in blue cars were on the highway at the time, that would be their problem.

While the twists, turns, dips and hills of the highway provided some hindrance to Pinkamena’s accuracy, Pinkie assisted with the aiming to make sure each car was wrecked with one shot.

Thanks to the mare’s efficient attack the duo made good time on wiping out the convoy.

The leader of the convoy, Price, was coming up fast but before Pinkamena could aim a shot at his car, Pinkie’s Pinkie Sense went off and she took over forcefully and buckled into her seatbelt just as Price hit his brakes hard and caused Lin’s car to hit Price’s rear bumper. Neither were launched forward, however, as both were wearing their seatbelts. Price took off quickly after the impact. Since he was driving an attrazione, catching up to him would be difficult given the model was one of the fastest in Stilwater.

“Bastard,” Lin cursed and took a deep breath. “Still, after that, I doubt he will pull a stunt like that for a while. What do you say we call Johnny and Playa and raid his house?”

“Soon, I have one last thing I need to do before we finish the Rollerz.”

“Well hurry up with that, no telling when Price will pull that bullshit again.”

Pinkamena and Lin went their separate ways where the madmare went back to the suburbs to visit the last contact for the Saints. This one was in a nice looking home but for whatever reason this contact requested aid with drug deliveries.

As she walked up to the door, it opened and a woman came rushing out as if in a hurry. She didn’t see the pink pony until it was too late and ended up tripping and falling on her.

“Woopsie, sorry I didn’t see you there.” The woman quickly got up from the heap. “I’m in a rush to pick my youngest up from school. Do you have kids...err I mean foals? Who am I kidding you probably have something like five.”

Just from her actions and words, Pinkamena knew that this one was going to be a real piece of work and she wasn’t in the mood for this. “Hey, Pinkie, I’m gonna let her be your problem. Call me when there’s killing to be done.”

“Okie dokie lokie.” The pony shook her head and her mane became poofy in an effort to hide the shift. “Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie. What’s your name?’

“Ah, so polite, I’m Laura. I’m your ordinary everyday housewife, mother and drug dealer. One of my colored friends was talking to me and she was saying that the real money isn’t in piano lessons, it’s in this thing called koma. She set up some deals with my son’s friends but I’m a little nervous about going into the city by myself because, well, I’m not poor. Could you be a dear and help me out?”

Pinkie nodded in affirmation. After Laura picked up her kid from school, she and Pinkie began their run to sell koma to junkies. It took some convincing but Pinkie managed to get the naive woman into the passenger side while the party mare drove.

During the drive, Laura asked about the mark on Pinkie’s flank where the party mare explained about cutie marks and her’s meant that she was an amazing party planner. This got Laura’s attention because she had been looking for someone to plan her young daughter’s birthday party. When Laura asked for some credentials, Pinkie pulled a folder out of her mane that showed the many parties she had planned. The file was massive. Laura only got through a few pages in the file before she was convinced to hire her to plan her daughter’s birthday party next week.

Laura was curious about the pony’s mane changing style whenever she stopped for her to make her deals. Whenever her mane was straight, the pony went about killing Rollerz and cops. While the housewife wished there was another way to deal with their pursuers, she needed the money to put food on the table and her husband was not pulling his weight.

As the deliveries continued, the police’s efforts grew more aggressive as they began sending everything they had to stop the woman from making her deals.

“I sure hope I don’t go to jail for this,” Laura thought.

Once all deals were complete, Pinkie drove Laura home and bid the housewife farewell, but not before receiving two trinkets: one to help calm Rollerz aggression and one to help calm police aggression. Neither were very useful at this point.

With the last of the contacts out of the way, Pinkie called Johnny, Playa and Lin to meet her at Price’s mansion. Once everyone arrived and Pinkamena was in control again, Lin told everyone the plan, “Alright, we’re gonna make sure that prick never tries that stunt on the highway again. We’re gonna raid his mansion and steal his car. Right now, Price is out looking for Donnie but if he does show up, put him down.”

With that, the four stormed the mansion and gunned down or dismembered everyone wearing blue (Thankfully, Lin exchanged her blue pants for purple after her hospital visit). Just like at Donnie’s garage, Pinkamena cackled maniacally as she sliced, diced, shot, burned, and blew up every Roller that was in her path.

Playa was the first to find the keys to Price’s attrazione in the leader’s bedroom. He snagged the keys and ran for the mansion’s garage. Pinkamena had cleared out any Rollerz that were guarding the back of the building while Johnny and Lin were finishing up the rest of the mansion.

Playa found Price’s car and jumped into it. He put the keys in the ignition and turned the car on before driving recklessly down the road for the nearest Forgive and Forget.

With Price’s pride and joy stolen and the mansion secured for the Saints, only a scant few Rollerz were left in Stilwater but Price was still at large.

Regardless, the Saints now had total control of the city. All that was left was to find Price and end him.

The evening of the next day was when Pinkamena received the call that she had been waiting for. Since Price had no safe haven left in Stilwater but proved elusive to the Saints, she had to wait for him to come to her.

She answered the phone to listen to Price’s angry rant. “Meet me at the car dealership at Misty Lane. We’re ending this tonight you freak. You’re gonna pay for what you did to Donnie and my uncle Will.”

“Quit being a bitch about Donnie,” Pinkamena replied. “He’s fine, he just dropped his flags and went into hiding in shame because he couldn’t choose between you and Lin. I have no idea where he is and I don’t care.”

Price was silent for a moment but the madmare knew he was relieved that his little buddy was alright. “Thanks for tellin’ me that, but I’m still gonna murder you for killing my uncle.”

“And thank you for having the balls to face your imminent demise head on.” Pinkamena ended the call and headed for the car dealership alone. She was going to have fun crushing the guy.

Pinkamena arrived at the car dealership as Price wanted. She had a few ideas on what kind of murder project she wanted to make of him but saved those idea for after she had Price in her hooves.

The sound of a large vehicle was heard not far away and got louder. That’s when she saw Price driving toward her in a semi truck. The mare dove out of the way to avoid getting run over while Price drove away.

Pinkamena ground her teeth and was not only angry at Price for trying to run her over but also angry at herself for being so naive for thinking that Price would settle things fairly.

She ran for her customized attrazione and chased after Price’s overgrown truck. It wasn’t long before she caught up to Price.

When he saw her, he began throwing pipe bombs at her to destroy her car. Pinkamena drove to the right side of the cab and used her grapple gun to launch herself up to the top of the trailer where Price couldn’t reach her.

Unfortunately, her car was destroyed by one of Price’s pipe bombs which made the madmare decide on an overkill option for the Rollerz leader.

Pinkamena crawled her way along the trailer and placed herself atop the main cab. She crawled down to the passenger side door of the cab and shattered the window. That got Price’s attention and he fired his SMG out the window that was shattered. Pinkamena waited until he had to reload before she made her move.

As predicted, the hailstorm of bullets ceased long enough for her to swing into the cab and buck Price out of the vehicle with her rear hooves. Price fell off the highway and landed hard on a lower road. Before he could recover, Price heard the sound of his own truck headed right for him. Before he had time to move out of the way, the truck was already upon him as he was slammed hard by the semi. “That was for trying to run me over!” Pinkamena yelled.

By then, Price was unlikely to get up but the madmare was not done with him. She drove past where his body landed and stopped just ahead of him. Pinkamena undid the locking mechanism on the cars that were loaded into the trailer and moved them loose, making sure that each car that fell out of the trailer rolled over Price’s body. “That was for calling me a freak!”

She then drove the trailer and cab over Price’s body which had mutilated it by this point. She stopped when the cab was directly over his body. She got out of the cab and moved a safe distance from the truck before pointing her platinum RPG launcher at it. “And this is for trashing my car!” She fired several RPGs at the cab and blew it up, turning the vehicle and the body under it into a smoldering heap.

Pinkamena took several breaths to calm herself before phone rang. It was Julius. “That was a hell of an explosion. You okay, Pinkamena?

“Yeah, I just showed Price the meaning of road rage.”

“I see. Anyway, we done and fucked the Rollerz hard. They ain’t got nothin’ left. There are a few loose ends, though, like who the fuck those buyers are Sharp was talkin’ about. I got a feelin’ there’s some shit goin’ on we don’t know about. I’ll catch ya later at the church.”

Julius hung up and left the mare wondering about what the Saints were going to do now. The Vice Kings, Carnales and the Rollerz were history so now only one question remained: What now?

Even as she was thinking that, Pinkamena couldn’t shake the feeling that something terrible was about to happen; something that she wouldn’t be able to stop.

Pinkamena couldn’t spend all night thinking about her sense of dread so she hijacked someone’s car and drove back to the loft.

Salting the Earth

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As the Saints gathered together to decide on what they were going to do next, Pinkamena looked out a window in the church. She was not looking for anything in particular but she continued staring into the distance while thinking about where her life will take her now.

While she mentioned the things she would be doing with the Saints to Pinkie, she still noticed that there was still something missing in her life; something related to the Saints.

Playa’s phone rang and he answered it to find Julius on the other line. Pinkamena used her strong hearing to listen to the one-sided conversation.

“We did it, Playa. Third Street owns this town. Now, that’s not to say that shit didn’t cost, and I ain’t talkin’ about what happened to Johnny’s leg. He’s a soldier, he knew the risk. Hell, he gets off on it. But we crushed a lot of families, Playa, and someday they’re gonna holla at us. But believe me when I tell you, we did the right thing. With the Rollerz wiped out, Benjamin gone, and the Colombians in our pocket, there ain’t gonna be a need for a gang war ever again.” Pinkamena scoffed as she knew that those three gangs were not going to be the last of them. She was pretty sure the world was bigger than that. “And in the end, that’s gonna save a lot more lives than we took. So relax, Playa, you and Pinkamena have earned yourselves a break. The two of you’ve impressed the hell out of me. I’ve told the crew you’re gonna be my right hand, don’t think the others are ready to accept someone not of their species leadin’ ‘em...hold up, some berry just turned on his flashers. Yeah, Playa, I think I’m gonna have to call you back. This might take a while.”

The other Saints in the church looked to Playa in respect and looked prepared to follow him wherever he went. Playa cocked his pistol in affirmation of his acceptance of his new position.

Since the gang wars were over, Johnny decided to make his relationship with Aisha official. Finding a bouquet of flowers that he mugged from some random person in the street, he presented them to her to show his willingness to pursue a relationship.

However, some part of him was not fully committed to such a move. While he had wanted to be with the former singer for a long time, there was also a part of him that felt like it was a mistake.

When he tried to think about it, he couldn’t come up with a solid answer. However, when he thought about Pinkamena, his thoughts did linger on the mare for longer than he would have expected but he wasn’t sure why. He thought of the mare as a friend who shared the same interests he did but some part of him wanted to say there was more to it.

In the end, he put those thoughts on the back burner and continued to pursue a relationship with Aisha.

Donnie sat alone in his garage sitting on the hood of Lin’s car. The vehicle was dredged up from the water and restored to its former glory by the mechanic.

He sat on the car sobbing as he lamented over his choice to not help Price in his time of need. At the same time, he couldn’t bring himself to betray his best friend by joining the Saints just because he wanted to be with Lin.

His feelings for her came at the cost of his best friend and that was why he sat on Lin’s car, crying as he looked at a photo of Price which was all he had to remember him.

Donnie didn’t respond as he heard footsteps that announced someone approaching. When the intruder was right next to him, they took a seat next to him.

“Hey, I thought I might find you here,” Lin said. Donnie remained silent. Lin looked at the photo he had been crying over. She considered her next words carefully. “In the time I knew him, he struck me as the caring big brother type. Even when he went to war with us, he was always concerned about you. He was relieved when Pinkamena told him that you were unharmed.”

Donnie finally responded, “I wish this gang war never happened. I wished there was some way for the Saints and Rollerz to come to a mutual understanding; some way for the two gangs to share the city. I know Mr. Sharp would never agree to something like that because they had nothing that would benefit him. Mr. Sharp was even planning to go to war with the Saints before you showed up because he didn’t want any nuisances getting in the way of his business. Since the Vice Kings and the Carnales were taken out, he knew we were next. I’m not sad that Mr. Sharp was killed, but I can only guess how much it tore Price up inside and I guess I only made it worse.”

“Donnie, no one can blame you for your decision. It was a shitty choice you had to make. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you went back to Price, though it would have been surprising if you had chosen to change your flags over me, though I might have lost a little respect for you if you did. I guess some part of me was glad you chose to remain neutral because it would have broken my heart if Pinkamena had to kill you as well.”

Donnie looked at Lin with a slightly surprised expression, “Do you really care about me like that?”

Lin shrugged, “Guess so. Wanna sit here for a while longer while you talk about the good times you had with Price?”

Donnie wiped his tears away and gave Lin a small smile, “I’d like that.”

Troy sat alone in a bar drinking his sorrows away. He knew that his time with the Saints had come to an end. With the other gangs finished, the Saints were the only loose end left. He had made friends with the gang and some part of him really wished they didn’t have to go.

However, orders were orders and he was still a police officer first. He didn’t like what was coming but he had no choice. This was why he was drowning his sorrows in liquor.

Pinkamena still scared him and he often feared that she would come after him one day to make him pay for his betrayal. He wouldn’t blame her. If he had the power, he would at least make sure the city services leave her alone. He owed her that much for not blowing his cover when he figured that she knew his real profession.

Part of him wished something would happen to Monroe. That crooked police chief needed to be removed from his position and Troy didn’t care how. He wouldn’t even mind if Pinkamena turned him into one of her “art projects”, even if that was a terrible thought to think of another.

For now, he would continue to drown his sorrows.

Playa’s phone rang the next day and on the other line was someone he never thought he would be receiving a call from: Police Chief Monroe. The police chief was still upset about what he and Pinkamena did when they broke up the dealings he had with the Vice Kings. However, he was willing to avoid a direct confrontation with the Saints with the full might of the Stilwater police if he hijacked the campaign bus of Mayor Marshall Winslow and parked it on the northbound railroad in Cecil Park. To make sure Playa complied, he mentioned that he was holding Julius hostage.

With no other option, Playa left the church to hijack the mayor’s bus.

Playa returned to the church after bringing about the death of Mayor Winslow. The only person he saw when he entered the building was Dex, however. The guy had difficulty hiding his nervousness as he waited for an update on the status of Julius.

Dex walked up to Playa and asked, “Is Julius with you? Have you heard back from Monroe?”

Playa’s phone rang and as if Dex had spoken of the devil, Monroe was on the other line. “Nice work...but I don’t think I can let Julius go until you do a little more community service...we’ll be in touch.”

Dex paused for a few moments before saying, “Looks like we wait.” Of course, Dex knew that just playing by Monroe’s rules was going to get them nowhere and would only get them fucked in the end. After thinking for a few minutes he finally got an idea. “Wait, I know.” He turned to Playa. “Marshall Winslow was a major public figure, and you can bet your ass that people would ask questions if the chief of police wasn’t at his funeral. I say we hit Monroe during the funeral procession. That should show whoever he’s working with that we’re not fucking around.”

Once they had a plan, Playa and Dex drove to Nob Hill where the funeral procession was going to be and positioned themselves on a balcony overlooking the intersection where the procession was headed. Dex gave Playa a sniper rifle to try and shoot Monroe among the procession. However, the convoy had a number of police cars among them and finding Monroe among them was going to take some guesswork.

Before Playa fired a shot, his phone as well as Dex’s phone gave them a notification. Playa ignored his phone and took aim but Dex looked at his phone. What he saw made his face turn a few shades red out of anger. He threw his phone on the ground, destroying it. “Fuck this! Fuck those two! Fuck my life! Fuck everything! I come up with a really good plan and those two fuck things up for me. I’m out.” Dex walked down the stairs from the balcony raising both middle fingers for everyone to see.

Playa, after hearing Dex’s tirade, put the rifle down and pulled out his phone. Upon seeing the image, Playa gave a wide smirk.

Earlier…

“Hey, thanks for bringing me along for this one. I was hopin’ to see your work at least once.” Johnny said.

Pinkamena chucked, “After that stunt he pulled in trying to blackmail us, I decided that he was going to be my next showpiece. I know this isn’t flashy like you want but my style tends to be dark and gruesome.”

“Ain’t nothin’ wrong with broadening your horizons.”

Pinkamena and Johnny abducted the cop that was supposed to drive Monroe’s car and left him for dead in an alley somewhere. Johnny stripped the officer of his uniform and put it on, leaving his own clothes in Pinkamena’s mane. The mare also put on her police disguise from when she was beating one of Wong’s targets into a pulp with a nightstick. The duo positioned themselves inside Monroe’s car and waited for the corrupt police chief to get inside. After ten minutes of waiting, Monroe finally got into the back of the car. “Let’s get this thing over with,” he said with a bored expression.

The car pulled away from the station and headed toward the funeral procession.

What Monroe didn’t know due to not paying attention to his surroundings and daydreaming about his plans, was that the vehicle made a detour away from the procession and arrived inside an underground garage.

When he finally noticed where he was, alarm bells rang in his head. However, he was too late to do anything about it as the car came to a stop inside the dark garage. “What is the meaning of this?” Monroe demanded.

The two got out of the car and one of them opened the door for him while pointing a gun at him. “How ‘bout you come out of there and see for yourself.”

Monroe complied by raising his arms in the air as he got out of the car. That’s when he realized something, “Wait, you’re one of the Saints. Do you even care what happens to your leader? If anything happens to me then--”

“If anything happens to Julius, you’ll still be dead and so will he. Playa will take over and he won’t be nice like Julius was.”

Johnny checked Monroe’s body from the waist up for weapons while his pony companion checked him from the waist down. Once they were certain that Monroe had all of his weapons confiscated, they gestured for him to sit in a metal chair that had a single light above it. Without any choice in the matter, Monroe was forced to comply. Using the handcuffs they confiscated from the police chief, along with the keys in case he tried anything daring, they tied his hands together behind the chair while using some rope to bind his legs and body to the chair.

“I have a delivery that should be coming here in a few minutes,” the pony said. “In the meantime, let’s entertain ourselves with our volunteer pinata.” The pony pulled out a nightstick while her companion pulled out his.

For the next few minutes, Monroe felt nothing but pain and agony as the two bashed and battered his whole body, causing numerous fractures. Pieces of bone started sticking out from various places in his body and he was certain that one of his testacles was crushed. If he survived this he would be living the rest of his life with dentures.

Relief came when he heard the sound of a doorbell and the two stopped pummeling him. “That must be the delivery guy, be right back,” the pony said.

Not even a minute passed as she returned with five boxes of donuts and placed them on the floor. “Since you’re a greedy police chief, I’m gonna let you have your fill. Just say when…”

Pinkamena began stuffing donut after donut down Monroe’s throat, not even giving him time to chew or swallow. The mare continuously stuffed the pastries into his mouth and not giving him a chance to say when. After the first few, Monroe started choking but the pony continued stuffing donuts into his mouth.

After hearing a few desperate muffled yells, Pinkamena decided to do something else. “What’s that? You need more? You don’t look like you can eat much more so let’s expand your capacity.” Pulling out her kitchen knife, Pinkamena cut into his stomach in a cross pattern but she didn’t see any food in there. “Wow, you must be a bottomless pit if you still aren’t full. Maybe some more donuts will help with that.” The mare continued stuffing more donuts down his throat while some of the pastries ended up going down his trachea and into his lungs.”

Monroe soon passed out from suffocation and the mare knew that fun time was over. “Okay, fun time’s over. Finish him.” Johnny pulled out his pistol and put the police chief out of his misery.

For the final step, Pinkamena pulled out her camera and took a photo of Monroe’s corpse and sent it to Playa and Dex.

“That shit was messed up but satisfying,” Johnny remarked. “Anyway, I’m sure Julius will turn up. In the meantime, wanna stop by Freckle Bitch’s?”

“Sure but you’re buying since I bought the donuts.”

“Deal.”

While the two were enjoying one of Freckle Bitch’s famous Fun Bags, Pinkamena got a call. Johnny excused himself to visit a restroom. The call came from Troy. “Yeah?” she answered.

“Listen closely and don’t panic. I just wanted to say I’m sorry things turned out this way. Richard Hughes, the remaining candidate for mayor of Stilwater, called Playa to his fundraiser on his private yacht. The Alderman intended to kill Playa since he couldn’t be bought or reasoned with. Thanks to the things the Saints did, Hughes intended to level Saint’s Row and with the public and Ultor Corporation backing him, he could legally do so. Of course, he didn’t count on his yacht blowing up and taking him with it.

“Unfortunately, Playa was also caught up in the explosion. The police recovered him and he seems to be alive but he’s in a coma. There’s no telling when he’ll wake up if he does.

“I know you’re not gonna like this but without Julius and Playa leading the Saints, that gang’s gonna disband soon.

“I know you know I’m a cop and when Johnny finds out he’s gonna try to kill me. But I wanna thank you for not blowing my cover. I didn’t see Monroe at the funeral procession for Mayor Winslow when he shoulda been. I can only think that you had something to do with that. If it’s true, I’ll likely be promoted to take his place. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure the city leaves you alone but you and Johnny are gonna have to lay low for a while.

“I’m not like Julius; I know this won’t be the last time gangs rear their ugly heads in Stilwater. There will always be gang wars in this city. I know you could lead the Saints yourself if you wanted but without Playa, any attempt to reform the Saints would be awkward since people ain’t ready to accept some pony as their leader, no matter how badass you are.

“I’ll do everything in my power to make sure Playa wakes up from his coma. I know I betrayed the Saints, they were my friends and I feel terrible for trying to get them to break up. But at the end of the day, I'm a cop first and a friend second. Also, I want it to go on record that the explosion was not my idea but when the time comes, I can help lead you to who did. I'm sure Playa will want to know who tried to blow him up too.

“Chances are by the time he wakes up, then the city will be plagued with gangs again. When he does, I’ll be secretly cheerin’ for you and Playa to revive the Saints and drive out whoever comes to Stilwater.

“For now, please lay low and wait for Playa to wake up. This isn’t an order but for the sake of your future, please listen to me this one time. This’ll be the last time I contact you so I want to say good luck.”

Pinkamena grit her teeth as she heard the news. She swore to find whoever tried to kill Playa and make him suffer dearly for it.

“Mena, we’re gonna listen to Troy,” Pinkie said.

“What? Why?”

“Because, silly, we’re at the end of the Saints Row 1 story. For the sake of continuity, we have to wait until Saints Row 2 starts in five years.”

“Five years?! Fuck that!”

‘“Please, Mena, the author has to write an interlude chapter to set things up for the next installment and messing with the continuity will be a huge headache for the author.”

“And why should I care?”

“Because the author can simply write you off and force me to do terrible things in your place.”

Pinkamena growled before sighing in resignation. “Fine, but this next installment better be worth the wait.”

Johnny finally made it back to the table where Pinkamena sat. “So what was that about?” he asked.

“I think we’re fucked.”

Interlude: Life Without Laughter

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Life in Equestria had been eventful to say the least. Ever since Pinkie Pie never attended her surprise birthday party, Twilight Sparkle and her friends had been searching throughout Ponyville for their missing friend. They asked the Cakes at Sugarcube Corner if they had seen her but they had not seen her lately, not since she went to her room looking distraught. She was nowhere to be found in her bedroom. Fluttershy stumbled upon Pinkie’s secret party cave but it had not shown any signs of recent use.

The mane 5 asked every citizen in Ponyville if they had seen their missing friend but the answer was the same: nopony had seen the pink party mare anywhere.

Twilight wrote a letter to Princess Celestia to inform her that Pinkie had gone missing and was nowhere to be found in Ponyville. Celestia suggested looking for her at her family home on the rock farm and asking her family if they had seen her. Unfortunately, Celestia could not lead a search herself because the Grand Galloping Gala was soon and she couldn’t afford to divert attention from the event without the nobility making a spectacle of themselves over it.

Twilight and her friends traveled to the rock farm where Pinkie grew up. The group got a rocky reception from a cranky Limestone while Marble was a little overwhelmed from the number of visitors.

Twilight informed the two that Pinkie had gone missing and asked if they knew anything about it. This caused the two sisters some concern as they had not seen their sister anywhere.

“I hope she had nothing to do with this,” Limestone mumbled.

“What was that?” Twilight asked.

“Nothing! It’s none of your business,” Limestone snapped quickly.

“Please! Pinkie is our friend. If there is anything you know about her that might lead us to her please tell us.”

Limestone took a deep breath and let it out to calm herself. “I don’t know anything that could help you. Pinkie’s life is centered around us and Ponyville. If she isn’t in either place then I have no idea where she went.

Limestone’s statement had dashed any hope of finding their missing friend for the foreseeable future. Twilight and her friends returned to the train station with sad looks on their faces and waited for the next train to Ponyville.

After the gang left, Marble spoke up, “Why didn’t you tell them about the places she might hang out?”

“Because they don’t need to know about her. I want to think that whatever happened to her ten years ago was permanent but part of me knows better. If she is on the loose again, then wherever she goes things will turn ugly fast.”

“We have to tell Maud about this right away. She’s the only one who can get her to calm down.”

“We don’t know if she’s loose again, but I do agree that we need to tell Maud but also our parents.

Time had passed. The Grand Galloping Gala was far from a happy experience for Twilight and her friends. With concern about their friend at the forefront of their minds. Rarity spent her time moping at a table instead of chasing after Prince Blueblood. Fluttershy sat at the table with Rarity instead of checking out the Canterlot Gardens. Rainbow Dash was too apathetic to concern herself with the Wonderbolts. Applejack still tried to sell her wares during an event where the food was catered but she didn’t care whether she made a sale or not because of her concern for her missing friend distracting her thoughts. Twilight tried to spend time with her teacher who spent nearly the entire evening greeting the nobles so she didn’t get to see any excitement in her evening.

The day after the event concluded, Celestia and Luna conducted a nationwide search for Pinkie Pie, not only because was she one of the Elements of Harmony, but she could feel the seal on Discord’s prison weakening and without the Element of Laughter, Equestria would be in peril.

Unfortunately the search turned up fruitless as each town and city in Equestria was searched and neither hide nor hair was seen of the lost party mare. The only conclusion the search teams could come up with was that Pinkie Pie had disappeared off the face of Equestria.

The worst case scenario had come to pass as Discord, lord of chaos and disharmony, broke free from his stone prison and neither the Princesses nor the Element Bearers were prepared to face him without the Element of Laughter. Discord himself found this to be disappointingly boring.

However, Discord was not one for repeating performances if he could help it and ruling Equestria again was not appealing to him the second time around. Of course, with how disappointing his opposition was, turning Ponyville into the chaos capital of the world didn’t feel like he had earned it. He knew he ruined everything Celestia had planned for him before it was set into motion. Without Pinkie the other five were ordinary ponies facing a god and the conventional magics of the Princesses were easily dealt with.

Of course, Discord was not without mercy. He would have loved to have a challenge but with Pinkamena active again he couldn’t afford to let her run free in Equestria without things getting bloody. He knew he brought this upon himself but he also didn’t want to go empty handed for his efforts so he made a deal with the Element Bearers and the Princesses.

“Let’s make a deal, shall we? To be frank, your effort to oppose me was a poor attempt to entertain me. I am willing to keep the chaos to a minimum, but in exchange, one of you has to move in with me.”

“What?!” the mares exclaimed.

“I’m not looking for anything romantic, mind you, just somepony who can help keep my house nice and messy while I’m out and about. Preferably somepony who doesn’t have royal duties to attend to. I’m not a slave driver.”

The ponies began shouting their discontent toward the agreement but the fact that the draconequus would be going around Equestria unchecked was an equally undesired outcome.

Discord added in the promise to not harm the one who volunteers even though he had no intention of harming any of them in the first place. After all, he was bored, not evil.

Eventually one finally spoke up to volunteer and to everyone’s surprise, it was Fluttershy.

The other mares now voiced their discontent about letting the yellow pegasus go with a creep like Discord but the draconequus had accepted her application and teleported with her to another part of Canterlot. It was there that he named the terms of her servitude.

He had no intention of controlling Fluttershy because he would be acting against the nature of chaos if he did that and none of the ponies were a threat to him anymore without Pinkie, but he also didn’t want the mare to think lightly of his terms.

His first term was that although she was still allowed to leave the chaos dimension where his house was to be with her friends and get groceries and whatever else she did, her home was with him now and she would have to return there to sleep at least.

His second term was so she wouldn’t avoid him all the time. She was to stay at home on Tuesdays in order to spend time with him.

Anything else he would come up with later.

Since Fluttershy was being given so much leeway, she spent a whole ten minutes building up the courage to tell Discord that she needed a place for her animal friends. Being in Discord’s chaos dimension was not going to cut it but she couldn’t go back to the cottage anymore.

While Discord wanted Fluttershy to just set her animals free in the forest, she refused the suggestion and refused to budge on the matter. Discord finally decided to compromise and move her animal habitats into the Everfree Forest where his powers would be at their strongest and placed a protective enchantment on the area to prevent predators from entering it. Fluttershy would be able to visit it anytime through a portal.

Once the two finally agreed on the terms, Fluttershy returned to her cottage to start packing her possessions for her big move.

Five years later

The five years from when Fluttershy moved in with Discord were quite eventful. During a royal wedding between Twilight’s brother, Shining Armor, and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, each of the mane 5 were each given a task while the task that would have been handled by Pinkie was instead handled by a wandering party planning stallion named Cheese Sandwich.

The bride turned out to be an imposter and almost ruined the wedding by invading Canterlot with an army of insect ponies called Changelings. However, the real Cadance was found and worked with Shining Armor to drive them off.

Not long after the wedding, the Crystal Empire returned and Twilight was tasked with saving the empire. The mad king Sombra attacked the city-state but was repelled and destroyed when an artifact called the Crystal Heart was found and returned to its rightful place.

Despite being gone for five years, the mane 5 never lost hope that Pinkie was alive somewhere because her Element still held its luster...but mostly due to the fact that Discord had spilled the beans that he was the reason Pinkie disappeared which earned him a few nights on the couch from Fluttershy.

He also explained that his reason for doing so was for the good of Equestria as he explained about Pinkie’s other personality, Pinkamena, who was a bloodthirsty, vicious psychopath. He also mentioned the night Pinkamena murdered three stallions for trying to rape her which was received by a number of shocked expressions. While Rainbow Dash refused to believe Pinkie was capable of such, Discord quickly corrected her by stating that it’s Pinkamena and not Pinkie who did the killing and that the two were independent personalities living in the same body.

Discord added that he wasn’t about to return Pinkie to Equestria as long as Pinkamena remained an issue.

Despite the draconequus’ warning, however, Twilight continued her search to find a way to bring Pinkie home.

Other than the truth coming out, other events happened such as the Plundervines encroaching on Ponyville. Since Discord owed the mane 5 for what he did to Pinkie, he was made to clean up the mess he caused in the first place.

The centaur, Tirek, ended up sent back to Tartarus by the Princesses before he became too powerful since they had to pick up the slack. Without Pinkie, Celestia’s plan to ascend Twilight to alicorn status was put on hold for the foreseeable future. Until she could find a way to bring back the missing party pony, she and Luna would have to handle the dangerous threats themselves.

Among other events that occurred at the end of the five year span, during the Grand Galloping Gala of that year, was Discord banishing one of Fluttershy’s oldest friends, Treehugger, to another dimension because he was annoyed by her free-spirited nature and how none of his antics got under her skin, an act that earned him another time out by the mare who had become his special somepony during the five years they lived together. Before Discord could retrieve the constantly stoned earth pony, he realized where her destination was and he wasn’t about to risk letting her know there was a way home.

On his way home from a casual flight one day, a rude griffon cut off his path. As she passed in front of him, she told him to watch where he was flying and called him a freak. The griffon ended up flying into a portal to another dimension.

Treehugger landed on her flank in a completely unknown place. As she looked around, she saw how different everything looked compared to what she saw a minute ago...or was it an hour...she wasn’t sure.

“Hey, I’m diggin’ the whole red and green look you got goin’ on,” said a female voice next to the mare. The owner of the voice noticed the tree and heart cutie mark on her flank. “Digging the tattoo too. Who’s your artist?”

Gilda landed on her haunches on something hard. She rubbed her head with one talon and her backside with the other before she opened her eyes. She quickly realized that she was in someplace that looked nothing like Equestria. She spotted a number of strange creatures staring at her and she screeched at them to drive them away. She was curious about where she was but also thought about how she was going to get home from wherever she was. Plus, she wanted to save her energy for whenever she found the freak who sent her to wherever she was and claw his eyes out.

The griffon opened her wings and took flight. Right now she only had one thing on her mind.

...a thought which changed to where she was going to find some food when her stomach started growling.

Resurgence of the Butcher

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Pinkie woke up explosively as she knew that today was the day that important things were going to happen. Her sister, Pinkamena had no idea how the crazy party mare knew when the important event was going to happen but she didn’t care as this meant that she would be able to have fun again.

Five years had its ups and downs. Unfortunately, it was mostly downs. After Playa was put into a coma as a result of the explosion that took the life of Alderman Richard Hughes, Julius Little, leader of the Third Street Saints, had mysteriously disappeared and had not been heard from during those five years. Pinkamena could only conclude that he was either dead or had simply abandoned them.

Pinkamena tried to keep the Saints together as best as she could but the gang members couldn’t get past the whole “being led by an animal” concept and gradually dropped their flags until the gang couldn’t stay together anymore. Dex had disappeared just like Julius did but rumors were heard that he got a job at the Ultor Corporation. Lin dropped her flags and decided to spend more time with Donnie. Pinkamena had no idea where they went afterward. Troy was promoted to chief of police as a result of the death of Monroe. True to his word, he swept her activities as a member of the Saints under the rug so she could live free from persecution from the city.

Johnny Gat let Pinkie move in with him, much to the annoyance of Aisha. It took a lot of convincing from Johnny for Aisha to let the pony move in with them.

With the Saints disbanded, a power vacuum was created in the city. This paved the way for a trio of opportunistic gangs to move in and take over the rackets that the Saints once controlled.

One gang that bore a resemblance to the Neighponese culture that Pinkamena remembered, calling themselves the Ronin, took over the gambling and prostitution rackets.

Another gang composed of people who were big on piercings and tattoos and drove trucks and SUVs primarily, took over the weapons dealing and protection rackets. This group was simply called The Brotherhood.

The third gang was a Haitian drug cartel called the Sons of Samedi who took over the drug trade in Stilwater. Rumors had been said that the cartel sold a highly potent drug that was popular among the youth of Stilwater. The quality of the drug was also said to be stronger than anything the Colombians could come up with so their marketing base had significantly weakened during those five years the Saints had been gone.

As if the three gangs weren’t enough, Ultor Corporation had taken control of the Saint’s Row district. There were also rumors going around that the corporation was also making deals with the other three gangs.

Five years had also caused a significant number of changes to the city itself. The borders of the neighborhoods had been altered while new ones were created while some old ones disappeared. Off the coast of the island city were a pair of tiny islands that Pinkamena had recently discovered. One held a nuclear power plant, a power source that Pinkamena was unfamiliar with given Equestria’s complete reliance on magic for power. Another, much smaller island held Stilwater’s penitentiary facility. Pinkamena heard that Playa was being held there.

With the deaths of Marshall Winslow and Alderman Richard Hughes, there was nobody left to run for mayor of Stilwater. However, one candidate stepped up to take the election. The wife of Richard Hughes, Monica Hughes became the mayor of Stilwater.

Matters of the household were at the forefront of the pony’s concerns, however. Aisha’s tolerance of the pony living in her home had eventually reached its limit and she tried to get Pinkamena to find her own place. Pinkamena countered that the city still views her as an animal and a criminal in the legal sense. Aisha consulted with Legal Lee to see if there were any loopholes that he could exploit to get the mare’s legal status changed but his expertise was in working with humans while talking animals was widely believed to not be real even though the city knew one existed.

Aisha’s greatest problem, however, was that her relationship with Johnny was falling apart. The madman was spending more time with Pinkamena than with her but the most awkward part happened one night when Aisha and Johnny were having sex and Johnny accidentally uttered Pinkamena’s name. It was since then that she knew that he was falling for the pink pony even if he didn’t realize it himself. She wasn’t about to tell him and let him figure it out for himself after that night though.

It was also the reason she decided to break up with Johnny while coming up with some lame excuse about why. Since she was still rich from her time as the Vice Kings’ musical talent, she had plenty of money to buy her own home and still be loaded.

However, one day the household got smaller again when Johnny pulled an idiotic move and tried to kill Troy for betraying the Saints which got him put in prison to await trial for two years and thirty-one days for a sentence that would most definitely be the death penalty. Troy, despite saying he wouldn’t contact the madmare again but did anyway, promised Pinkamena that he would delay the trial for as long as he could while doing everything he could to speed Playa’s recovery. Until then, Pinkamena had her own home to herself.

Over the past five years, Pinkie’s income was through her party planning at the request of Laura who, during the time period, divorced her husband and married Tobias, a fellow drug dealer and a hater of wearing shirts. Pinkie had also aided in Laura’s bake sales and the occasional drug deals. Pinkie had become a good friend of the family during that time.

Of course, that income source was cut off when Laura finally got caught and sent to prison.

Now, though, the long wait was over. If Pinkie’s prediction was right, Playa would be waking up tonight.

Pinkie turned the lights off in the house, walked out the door of her house and locked the door. She got into her Attrazione, which she had Samson repair, and drove to the coastline closest to Stilwater Penitentiary. Upon arrival, she pulled out the scuba gear, that she ‘borrowed’ from someone, from the trunk and put it on. Once she was ready she dove in and swam for the island.

The time was three in the morning by the time Pinkie made it to the prison island. It wasn’t long before the guards took notice of her. Pinkamena took over and decided it was time for her morning exercise.

Pinkamena held her new kitchen knife (the old one got rusted with all the action she put it through five years ago) in her mouth and parried a few pistol shots before she closed the gap and eviscerated the prison guards.

The madmare advanced into the prison, leaving a trail of corpses in her wake. As she entered, the alarms went off. She wasn’t sure if she was the reason or if Playa was making his escape attempt. It didn’t matter since the police were not going to stop them either way.

Pinkamena found who she was looking for once she entered the main doors of the prison. With a cheerful smile, the madmare waved a forehoof at Playa. “Hey, Playa, long time no see.”

“Pinkamena? What are you doing here?” Playa asked.

“Duh, I’m here to pick you up from camp. The councilors have all been very welcoming. They even took the time to try and entertain me.”

A police car drove into the gates and stopped in front of the duo...along with some hispanic prisoner wearing a purple cap.

“Thanks for bringing me my ride. You guys are the best.” Before the guards could exit the car, Pinkamena performed a bo-duke-en upon the driver by sliding across the hood and smashing through the windshield and the driver. She followed up with her knife being plunged into the passenger’s heart. Playa and Pinkamena cleaned up the mess and the three entered the car to drive to the harbor.

“I’ve heard stories about you from my brother,” the mystery guest said. “Are you really the Butcher of Stilwater?”

“I don’t know any brother of yours, colt, but ‘Butcher of Stilwater’ is a new one to me.”

“Surprised you haven’t earned that title sooner with how many bodies you’ve sliced and diced with that knife of yours,” Playa said.

“More surprising is that you said more than one sentence during this mission.”

“You’ll probably hear a lot more from me from now on.”

“Oh goodie, now we can finally do a co-op for real,” Pinkamena said cheerfully. She looked at the mystery guest then back to Playa, “So who’s this guy?”

“I’m Carlos, I came here to break him out of here.”

“No offense, but it looked more like Playa was busting you out.”

The group arrived at the dock where a police boat was tied. They quickly boarded the boat and untied it from the dock before taking off.

While the police pursuit was heavy, none of them even tried firing on the boat. Playa decided to spend his leisure time firing a boat-mounted HMG at the pursuers while Pinkamena used her trusty RPG to shoot down helicopters.

Nearing the main island, Playa and Pinkamena noticed a large building in the distance. Playa recognized the location, “That’s the Row?” he asked.

“It is now…” Carlos responded.

“Jesus, when did this happen?”

Pinkamena answered his questions, “A lot can happen when you’ve been in a coma for five years.”

“The fuck you say?!”

“You heard me, five years without leadership was all it took for the Saints to disband and a trio of new gangs to take over. The Ultor Corporation has legal rights to the Row now and that’s what resulted.” She pointed at the tower.

“Wait, a clothing company did all that?”

“Their influence extends to more than clothes, Playa. I’ve heard their influence extends to real estate and weapons development. I’ve also heard a rumor that they might be secretly influencing the other gangs.”

“So the Saint’s are gone and there are three gangs and a corporation to take down?”

“Eeyup.”

“Well then, let’s get started.”

Eviction Notice

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“So where are Johnny and the others?” Playa asked.

After reaching the mainland of Stilwater, Carlos left Playa and Pinkamena to their own devices to take care of his own business. Since running around in prison clothes was asking for more trouble than either were in the mood for, the duo hijacked someone’s car and headed for the nearest clothing store.

“Johnny got arrested for attacking Troy who was an undercover cop when he rolled with us. Troy took Monroe’s position as police chief and he’s been keeping you from dying while you were playing...what’s the human equivalent...Rip van Winkle. Lin dropped her flags to be with Donnie; no idea where they went. Julius disappeared after the explosion and Dex traded his purple for an Ultor business suit.”

It wasn’t long before the two arrived at the Sloppy Seconds clothing store. They entered the store and Playa began trying on what little the store had to offer while continuing the conversation. “So we need to break Johnny out of jail, but what’s this about other gangs? Whaddya know about them?”

“Johnny’s at the courthouse standing trial today,” Pinkamena corrected. “As for the gangs, there’s an East Asian gang called the Ronin who have taken over Stilwater’s gambling and prostitution rackets. There’s some Haitian drug cartel that took over the drug market who call themselves the Sons of Samedi. And there’s some gang of tattoo lovers who drive nothing but trucks and SUVs and they have control of Stilwater’s weapons dealing and protection rackets. They call themselves The Brotherhood. Their respective colors are yellow, green and red.”

“Yellow and red again? At least the Samedi chose a different color than the last gangs. Anything on their leaders?”

Not much. Of the leaders, Only the Brotherhood Leader, Maero, has been the most active of everyone else. The guy’s tough looking and he’s been tattooed so much he looks like an escaped painting from an art gallery. The Samedi are peddling some new drug that’s more potent than anything the Colombians can compete against. I don’t know who the leaders of the Samedi nor the Ronin are.”

“We’ll deal with them when we get the Saints reformed.” Playa stepped out of the dressing room. “Right now, we have a trial to attend.”

The drive to the courthouse took a couple of minutes despite Playa driving into cars several times. The duo charged into the courthouse without showing their weapons which allowed them to head into the courtroom while only receiving wary glares from the security in the building.

When the entrance to the courtroom came into view, Playa decided to discard his manners and start shooting at the guards staring at them. The commotion caused a bailiff to head to the door the sounds were coming from which resulted in him getting launched to the back wall while a flying door completed the image of a sandwich. Another guard tried to investigate with his gun held over his shoulder. Playa moved into the room and pointed his gun at the guard, commanding him to drop his weapon. The guard did as told which resulted in the dropped weapon discharging and the bullet ricocheting around the room.

“Anyone hit and need a lawyer?” Legal Lee said before ducking back under a table.

“Mena!” Johnny said cheerfully. “Was starting to think you were gonna run late.”

“Would have gotten here sooner if it wasn’t for this lazy ass.” She pointed at Playa.

“You try getting blown up and surviving it,” Playa defended. He collected the keys to Johnny’s handcuffs and tossed them to the guy. “You okay, Johnny?”

“Yeah, aside from almost getting sent to the chair I’m fuckin’ great...hey you look different, you do somethin’ with your hair?”

“I noticed that too but figured Stilwater PD had some plastic surgeons on speed dial,” Pinkamena remarked.

Johnny unlocked his handcuffs and Playa tossed him a pistol he ‘borrowed’ from a bailiff who was still stuck between a wall and a door.

Before they left the building, the trio paid a visit to the judge’s office. The occupant attempted to defend herself with a shotgun but quickly realized her inability to use one when her hands were cut off. The judge looked down to see the infamous pony holding a knife with her blood coating it and her hands lying at her feet.

The judge crumpled to the floor after receiving a hard punch from Johnny. “Why are you even in here? Shouldn’t you be attempting to escape?” the judge asked.

“I just came here to deliver on a promise I made a few minutes ago.” Johnny took the judge’s gavel and shoved it headfirst into her ass then pushed it deeper until the entire gavel was inside her. The judge cried out in agony as Johnny shoved the object as hard as he could. She passed out eventually which was when Johnny pulled out his pistol and shot her in the head.

With that done, the trio painted the courthouse with the blood of the Stilwater Police Department on their way out.

Pinkie took over and took one of the cars parked in front of the courthouse entrance and drove the three of them to the nearest Forgive and Forget. Then on the way to Johnny’s and Pinkie’s house, Johnny mentioned a couple of things that the pony was not aware of. The first being that Benjamin King wrote an autobiography, a book that Pinkamena considered buying at a bookstore sometime. The other was that Troy was doing his own investigation about the boat explosion. Pinkamena figured that Troy already knew who was responsible and left the information for her and Playa to find when they got around to it.

Johnny and Pinkie invited Playa inside and offered him a beer. The two each reclined on a couch and put their feet on the coffee table in front of them. While they took a moment to relax, Pinkie gave both of them a Johnny-avoided-the-death-penalty-and-Playa-woke-from-a-coma cupcake. Somehow she made all of the words fit on a tiny pastry. While Johnny and Playa washed down their cupcakes with beer, Pinkie had a cupcake as well while tapping into her secret stash of hard cider that she had been sneaking out of Applejack’s cider cellar over the years.

“We definitely need to remind motherfuckers who we are,” Playa said.

“So what’s the plan? Johnny asked.

“We get our crew together, once we got that we can work on how we’re takin’ back our city.”

“Sounds good.”

“I think we need to find a better place than this. If we’re gonna be recruiting a lot of people, we need something bigger than one house to hold them all,” Pinkie pointed out.

Johnny and Playa thought it over for a minute before Playa spoke, “She’s got a point. We need someplace big if we’re gonna be recruiting a gang big enough to reclaim our neighborhoods and hold them. What about the church?”

Pinkamena took over Pinkie’s part of the conversation. “The church is too close to Ultor headquarters. We won’t be able to concentrate on the other gangs if we have that corporation and their private army breathing down our necks.”

“Why don’t we deal with Ultor now?” Playa asked.

“I’ve heard rumors that Ultor has been secretly providing aid to the other gangs. I don’t want to risk the others coming to Ultor’s aid if the rumors are true.”

“Okay, any other suggestions?”

Johnny offered a suggestion, “There’s an old mission house in Old Stilwater that’ll be perfect.”

“Religious buildings are kinda been there done that…” Playa countered.

“We’re not staying in the mission. Now check it out. Years ago an earthquake dropped part of the city below sea level, and rather than clearing out the rubble, the city built over it. There’s an abandoned hotel below the mission that’ll work for us.”

“Alright, what’s the catch?”

“We gotta evict the current tenants…”

“Sounds like fun…”

“And we get to do our civic duty of dealing with the homeless problem,” Pinkamena chimed.

With their plan in mind, the trio got into Pinkamena’s car, which was conveniently retrieved from the coast, and drove to the mission in Old Stilwater.

The descent into the lower levels carried a slight risk as the steps were a little rotten. Pinkamena made a mental note to have the steps replaced at some point. It would be embarrassing if any of the future crew got killed because they fell through the stairs.

Once they reached the lower levels, the group encountered resistance in the form of gang members in green shirts, the uniform color of the Sons of Samedi.

The only matter that frustrated Pinkamena was that she couldn’t risk using explosives or fire while in the area without risking burning the underground hotel down. Instead, she put the handle of her knife in her mouth and engaged the Samedi in close quarters combat.

One of the Samedi attempted to throw a molotov at the madmare which was caught in midair and hurled back at the thug who screamed while ablaze and crashed into a shanty, burning it down.

When some Samedi tried using their guns from as far away from the madmare as possible, she pulled out her gold pistol and shot down their ideas in more ways than one.

With the armed Samedi out of the way, Playa and Johnny began murdering the homeless bums squatting on their new property by hurling them into their shanties, burying them in heavy junk.

The homeless that remained got the message and fled the underground hotel as fast as their legs could carry them.

With the homeless gone, the trio checked out their new base of operations. Playa didn’t think much of the place while Johnny saw plenty of potential. Playa was on board after Johnny had mentioned the idea of putting in a stripper pole.

“So...whatcha think, Pinks?” Johnny asked.

Pinkamena shrugged, “Better than being a prisoner in your own head for ten years. Still this place could house a good number of people. Seems a great place to launch our attacks against the other gangs.”

“C’mon, Mena, I never hear you ask for anything materialistic. What do you think this place needs?”

Pinkamena rolled her eyes, “You’re talking to a pony who was raised by a...what’s that Earth term again...oh ya, Amish family.”

“Seriously? No wonder your standards are so low.”

Pinkamena thought about what Johnny said and realized that for all the effort she put into what she did, a little pampering wouldn’t hurt. After a few moments of tapping her chin with her hoof, Pinkamena decided what she wanted.

“I want a mini bar.”

“A good start...”

“And Pinkie wants a room reserved for her personal party planning room.”

“Uhh...okay?”

Pinkamena wrote a list of what she wanted and gave it to Playa who had more of an eye for luxury than she did.

Playa read the list for a few moments before responding, “We’ll see what we can do, but first we need to rake in the cash before we can make improvements.”

With the requests agreed upon, Pinkamena, Playa and Johnny began inspecting their new hideout.

Allies New and Unexpected

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Johnny, Playa and Pinkamena explore their new hideout that had recently been purged of its previous residents. The place was quite run down and a lot of rooms were burnt or rotted from decades of disrepair. Each Saint took claim of their own rooms for themselves as their offices.

Pinkie decorated her room using a special cannonball she invented that turned a room into the exact likeness of her old room back in Equestria. She then proceeded to dig an underground room using her mane like a drill bit and decorated that room to look like her old party planning cave.

Once Pinkie was finished with her decorations, Pinkamena added some of her own. Just like she requested earlier, she placed a mini bar in her room. The cabinet contained a wide variety of liquor, wine, and beer. She also created several compartments in her room that concealed a number of her favorite guns. While her knife was her favorite weapon, she would never part with it. She would concern herself with the other requests later.

After they were finished checking out the place, Johnny, Playa and Pinkamena gathered in the lobby of the hideout again to discuss their next move. The meeting was short as they each decided their tasks. Johnny would start recruiting members for the Saints while Playa would boost his reputation through various actions in town such as painting over the tags of the other gangs and practice doing stunt driving by performing various stunts throughout the city.

Pinkamena had her own task to complete. She knew that a lot of homeless escaped the mission and may try to make a move to take back their old home. Pinkamena pulled out her phone and performed a search for underground places in Stilwater since the homeless would be oppressed by the city if they were above ground. Only three locations were found to match the criteria, four if you counted the mission they cleared out: The Rounds Square Shopping Center, Ultor’s top secret Pyramid facility and the caverns underneath where the new Black Bottom was located.

The shopping center was no place for bums to hang out because it was still a source of commerce for the city. There was no information at all about The Pyramid and Pinkamena doubted that Ultor would let bums roam around their property. This left the caverns as the obvious option.

Each Saint left the mission to do their own task with Pinkamena heading to the caverns underneath Black Bottom to finish what she started.

The entrance to the caverns required her to go through the gift shop that was likely related to the caverns since the place had turned into a tourist trap over the past five years.

When inside the gift shop, those who saw her enter gave a variety of expressions ranging from curiosity, likely tourists who never heard of her, to terror from the actual citizens who were well aware of the rumored Butcher of Stilwater.

On her way into the caverns, she heard some gossip from some of the patrons who weren’t paying attention to what was going on around them. What Pinkamena learned was that there was a strange looking bird that was flying around the city. What was strange was that the bird had four legs and resembled something from myths.

Pinkamena decided to look into it later as she had a job to do. If she didn’t show the homeless who she was, they would be a headache for the Saints to deal with later on.

The mare found the homeless shantytown and the displaced citizens looking to defend it. The defenders were armed with basic pistols while Pinkamena had more options to choose from this time.

The madmare charged up to the defenders and dismembered their limbs from their bodies while using the torsos as living throwing weapons to smash the shanties.

Memories resurfaced in the minds of the homeless as they realized that The Butcher had come for them. Those who valued their lives fled the caverns to find safety.

Pinkamena was disappointed that her prey was frightened so easily this time but she had a job to finish. She pulled out a flamethrower and started setting the shantytown ablaze. Once she had finished that, she pursued the remaining stragglers to make sure that her message stuck with them. She had better things to do than to terrify a bunch of poorly armed bums, after all.

Just to mess with the tourists, Pinkamena returned to the gift shop while covered in the blood of the bums she just slaughtered. As expected, the tourists noticed her blood-stained appearance and fled the gift shop. The madmare couldn’t help but roll on her back and laugh uncontrollably while flailing her legs in the air.

With nothing else to do, Pinkamena returned to the hideout to see how Johnny and Playa had been holding up on their end.

The first thing the mare noticed was that a number of new people were in the lobby getting their faces punched in by Johnny. Pinkamena quickly realized that he was canonizing the new recruits.

“Some traditions never get old,” Pinkamena commented.

Johnny finished punching one of the recruits and addressed the mare, “Always enjoyed giving new blood their canonizing.”

“This is all well and good but what about lieutenants? Might be tough leading this bunch with just you me and Playa.”

“I met some people in jail who might work. I called ‘em earlier and Playa went to go show ‘em he was the real deal...also mentioned some kid named Carlos. He should be comin’ back with ‘em soon.”

Johnny’s canonizing of the recruits continued for a little while longer which was sped up when Pinkamena joined the fray and started beating up some recruits. She held back a lot since she wasn’t trying to kill or severely injure them.

After the canonizing, the recruits were ordered to clean up the place and make it look presentable. Pinkamena threatened a slow and horrible death to those who went into her room without her permission.

Pinkamena’s phone rang to show that Playa was calling her. She answered her phone to see what the new leader of the Saints wanted.

“Yo, Pinkamena, come to Quinbecca in the suburbs. I was going there to recruit one of Johnny’s contacts, Shaundi, when I noticed she had a friend with her that looks like you?”

Pinkamena’s interest was piqued when he mentioned he found someone like her. “Was it another pony,” she thought to herself.

“Maybe it’s Twilight looking for us,” Pinkie offered.

“That would be good for you and bad for me,” Pinkamena responded.

“Why?”

“Because if it is her and she has a way to get us back home then she may also have a way of getting rid of me. If that creature that sent us here blabbed to your friends about me then they might-”

“I won’t let that happen.”

“Pinkie, you know what kind of pony I am by now. I doubt your friends will be as forgiving as you have. Chances are they’ll probably believe that I somehow brainwashed you or something. Ponykind is forgiving for a lot of things, but murderers who take pleasure in their kills would often get banished to Tartarus.”

“No! I- we’ll figure something out!”

“For now, let’s see who this mystery pony is before we decide on what to do next.”

The drive to Quinbecca was spent with Pinkie trying to come up with crazy plans for if her friends reject her sister. While this increasingly annoyed Pinkamena, she managed to suppress her temper for the entire trip.

Pinkamena finally found Playa and the new potential lieutenant, Shaundi, in the neighborhood but who was with them took the mare, both minds of her, by surprise.

“Is that-?” Pinkamena began.

“Treehugger?!” Pinkie finished.

“You mean that Fluttershy’s animal activist friend ended up here? Is that creature throwing ponies at random into this world now?”

“I don’t know, Mena, but we need to help her.”

With the two in agreement, Pinkamena exited her car and walked up to the green pony with the red mane done in dreadlocks. “Treehugger, what are you doing here?”

“Huh?” Treehugger tilted her head. “Do I know you? You look familiar but your aura looks so angry and scary. Your cutie mark reminds me of Fluttershy’s friend, Pinkie.”

Pinkamena facehoofed, “Ugh! Pinkie, you handle this. I’m gonna try not to bash my head into a wall for an hour.”

When Pinkie was back in control, Treehugger recognized her immediately and rushed forward to give her a hug. “I’ve missed you! Everyone in Equestria misses you. When are you coming home?”

Pinkie shrugged, “Dunno, been stuck here for five years.”

Treehugger thought about it for a moment, “I see your point. I don’t know how to get home either. This nice creature has been showing me around and showing me her Zebrican drug collection.”

“I don’t know about any Zebrican shit but you sure can huff the stuff,” Shaundi commented.

“Why don’t you come with us?” Pinkie offered, “Gotta be better than wandering around this terrible city where all the mean people shoot and kill each other.”

Treehugger shook her head, “I dunno, the people all seem nice so far and I got to try some strong weed. I even figured out how to make more of what I smoked.”

“Huh?” Pinkamena asked.

“I thought you knew Treehugger can identify substances she’s inhaled.”

“I don’t remember a lot whenever Treehugger visits Ponyville, she always makes you try her latest concoctions and it makes things hazy for a few hours. Still, we could use that skill. We might be able to weaken the market for the Sons of Samedi if we can get ahold of some of their product and make it ourselves.”

Pinkamena took over again. “Trust me, you would be a lot safer if you hung out with me and the Saints. We could use your help dealing with some bad guys running around the city. Besides, after the reputation I’ve made in this town, the people here aren’t going to want another pony potentially becoming another me.”

“Okay. Pinkie’s the only familiar face I’ve seen in this place so if she’s with you, I’ll go with you. Uhh...what was your name again?”

“Pinkamena.” She rolled her eyes.

With that, Playa escorted Shaundi and Treehugger back to the hideout. Pinkamena told them she would catch up as she decided to stay behind. Playa shrugged and told her to hurry back because he needed her present before he made his big announcement before driving off.

Now alone, Pinkamena took a deep breath to relax. Whoever was spying on her, she could tell they were more curious than predatory so she would give them a chance to explain themselves.

“You can come out now, I know you’re there.”

The figure hesitated for a moment before flying out of their hiding place and landing next to Pinkamena.

While Treehugger’s arrival in this world was a surprise to the madmare, the shock value had dropped for her after the first time. If ponies were being sent to this world by that creature, then, of course, griffons could too.

This particular griffon was all too familiar to Pinkamena. Although she only knew her for one day through Pinkie, there was no mistaking those purple-tipped feathers on her head and the purple around her amber eyes. She was looking at Rainbow Dash’s ex-friend Gilda.

“You’re one of Dash’s friends,” Gilda stated.

“Close but you still have the wrong pink pony.”

“No I don’t, you have that same stupid balloon mark that she has.”

“I only have that mark because Pinkie and I share the same body and I never got my cutie mark,” Pinkamena snapped.

“Yeah, whatever, so what is this place?”

Pinkamena took a moment to calm down before continuing the conversation, “This is a world belonging to some creatures called Humans. This is the city of Stilwater, a place where crime and violence runs rampant.”

“Is that what those weird things that walk around like minotaurs are? And a city that is full of violence? Sounds like Detrot.”

“How did you get here, Gilda?”

“Fluttershy’s special somecreature made some sort of hole that I flew into and I ended up here.”

“Special somecreature? What did he look like?”

“One of his arms looked like one of my talons and the other looked like one of my paws.”

There was only one creature that Pinkamena knew that matched that brief description, “That’s the same one who sent me here, and likely Treehugger as well.”

“Is this Q and A thing over? I got more of the city to explore. See ya, dweeb.”

Before Gilda could open her wings to fly away, Pinkamena grabbed onto one to stop her. “Not so fast, Gilda. You have skills that would be useful to me and the Saints so I’m gonna recruit you.”

“A dweeb like you recruiting me for your little club? Why should I join you?”

“It gives you a chance to act like the predator you are while having allies to have your back. There are three enemy groups that me and the Saints are going to get rid of and I don’t mean the typical Equestrian way.”

“What, you gonna banish them like Celestia’s sister?”

As they were talking, Pinkamena noticed a group of Ronin staring at them. They were starting to draw their katanas. The madmare’s expression turned into her usual sadistic grin. “Nope, like this.”

Pinkamena walked past Gilda who turned around and saw the armed strangers and noticed the mare pulling a bloodstained kitchen knife from her mane. The Ronin held their katanas in a traditional kendo stance with both hands on the hilt and blade held in front of them. However, the Ronin were not used to fighting an opponent half their size nor such an opponent who fought dirty. Pinkamena slid toward one Ronin’s ankles and slashed at his right shin which caused him to kneel to hold his wounded leg. This gave her an opening to move behind him and raise herself on her hind legs to reach the fallen gang member and run her knife through his neck, creating a gushing wound while also severing a few important nerve cords within his spine.

Gilda’s eyes widened at the display that was very clearly not what she would ever expect a pony to do. Not only did the mare in front of her kill the guy, and she knew a wound like that would be fatal, but she also did so without hesitation and smiled as she did it. If this was normal for her, the griffon knew that getting on her bad side would be the last thing she would ever do.

One of the other two Ronin tried to end the madmare with a downward slash but she pulled the knife out with one hoof and parried the strike with the knife. Her other forehoof pulled out her platinum SMG which she used to bombard the Ronin with a storm of bullets.

The last Ronin dropped his sword and ran for his motorcycle to escape but the madmare leaped for the dropped Katana, grabbed it and hurled the blade into the fleeing Ronin’s back, causing him to fall onto the street. To make sure the gang member wasn’t getting up from that, Pinkamena walked up to him and pulled out her gold pistol and shot him in the head.

Pinkamena walked back to Gilda who’s beak was wide open from the display she saw. The madmare giggled as she used a hoof to shut Gilda’s beak. The griffon shook her head before speaking, “And that was normal for you?” She nodded. “Wow, If I knew you were that hardcore, I woulda joined your group in a heartbeat.”

“Good. Because there’s one more condition I want from you before you join.”

“What’s that?”

“I want you to apologize to Pinkie for trying to drive a wedge between her and Rainbow Dash and for being a poor sport at her prank party.”

“What? Okay, fine. I’m sorry-”

“Not to me.” Pinkamena’s mane and colors returned to the curly and bright state to indicate the switch.”

“She means me.”

“Wha?” Gilda stammers for a few seconds.

“Mena and I share this body but it’s easy to tell who’s controlling it. Anyway, Mena’s really pushing for that apology, she seems a bit upset about how you treated me back then. She’s also mentioning serving griffon meat to the Saints if you don’t.”

Gilda gulped. After what she saw, the griffon knew that mare would make good on her threats. She bowed her head to the party pony. “I’m sorry for being such a jerk back then and I’m sorry about spoiling your prank party back then.”

“Apology accepted,” Pinkie said with a wide smile. “Now let’s get to the hideout.” Pinkie jumped into her car and drove to the mission with Gilda flying close behind.

“I don’t like this place,” Gilda complained.

“We’re still working on getting the place in shape.” Pinkamena said.

“Not the mess. That part actually reminds me of home. It’s the whole underground thing that bothers me. It makes me claustrophobic.”

“Fine, we’ll see about getting a hut built on the roof of the building. We could use your eyes to help us get an early warning in case the enemy gangs come knocking. Still, if anything important comes up we will need you down here. That acceptable?”

“Yeah,” Gilda affirmed.

“Good, Playa has a speech to make and people to assign to leading the efforts against the other gangs.”

The gang members in attendance stood at the base of the stairwell while Playa stood on the steps to begin his address.

“Alright, everybody listen up, we got some serious shit to discuss. The Saints used to own Stilwater and it seems like the only muthafuckas that remember that is me, Gat and Pinkamena. I think it’s time we give those other crews a wake up call. Now I ain’t gonna lie, a lotta shit’s changed since I’ve been outta the game, so I’m gonna need some help. Pierce, you’re on the Ronin. I wanna know who’s callin’ the shots and what businesses they’re running.”

“Done,” Pierce affirmed.

“Shaundi, you got the Sons of Samedi.”

“It’s gotta be them?” Shaundi complained.

“Fuck you say?”

“It’s cool...I...I got this,” She affirmed quickly.

Playa nodded. “Carlos…”

“The Brotherhood, I’m on it,” Carlos affirmed.

“Aight. Once we’re done here talk to one of these guys...they’ll have something for you to do. It’s our time now...let’s get this shit started.”

Once the crowd dispersed, Gilda and Treehugger approached Pinkamena to discuss things with her.

“I dunno about this,” Gilda stated. “I don’t know a thing about that guy. I’m not trusting him to lead us.”

“I agree with Gilda, he seems like a leader but his aura is not one I would trust to lead me.”

Pinkamena looked at the pony and griffon for a moment. “So what do you suggest, you want me to lead you?” Both nodded and Pinkamena sighed. “Alright, Treehugger, see what you can do for Shaundi. Since drugs are your field you would be best placed on the Samedi front. Gilda, I have a feeling that Carlos is gonna need all the help he can get against the Brotherhood.”

Treehugger raised a hoof to ask a question, when Pinkamena addressed her, she asked the madmare what she knew about the three gangs. After a brief disclosure of information, the green pony and griffon accepted their roles more eagerly.

“Don’t just focus your time against the gangs. There are people out there who would like favors done for them in exchange for spreading the reputation of the Saints and earn us more of this world’s currency. Some of these things may seem strange but the rewards will still be worth being at the top of this city’s food chain. I’ll send you more information as the campaigns progress.”

After giving Treehugger and Gilda each a cell phone as well as instructing them on their uses, the three of them dispersed to take care of their tasks.

Stealing From the Youth

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With duties assigned to the new lieutenants and her new followers, Pinkamena decided to get an idea about what the new lieutenants were like.

Pierce seemed like the kind of guy who craved power and respect in the gang. He seemed ambitious and possibly possessing a similar personality to Dex. Pinkamena could only wonder if she was going to end up messing with him in the future.

Most likely.

Shaundi, after hearing that she fucked so many guys while either high or drunk and got their contact info in exchange, struck the madmare as an easygoing woman who was somewhat like a prostitute but she had also developed a sort of information network. Pinkamena would see if her network will prove useful. Still, many of those contacts were horrible people which gave the madmare the impression that the stoner had some major psychological problems...like she was one to talk though.

Carlos was an eager kid who wanted to impress the Saints. He had apparently been raised on his brother’s stories about the Saints and seemed eager to be the best lieutenant he could be. Unfortunately, this meant to Pinkamena that he was likely going to do something stupid at some point and get himself killed. Carlos was going to need all the help he could get if he wanted to survive this gang war. Hopefully, Gilda will be able to keep him out of trouble.

Still, with everyone assigned to their tasks, it was time for Pinkamena to decide which gang she wanted to target first.

She could target the Ronin and take control of the gambling and prostitution rackets while dealing with people who were similar to the Japanese Yakuza or the Neighponese equivalent who exist in Equestria.

She could target the Sons of Samedi, a Haitian drug cartel who nearly drove the Colombians out of the market. If the rumors she heard about them were true, they were similar to an infamous Zebrican drug cartel she heard about once.

Or she could target the Brotherhood who seemed like they were compensating for something...possibly something in their downstairs areas. Why else would they brand themselves in ink all over their bodies and drive large trucks?

After thinking about the three gangs for a time, Pinkamena decided on going after the Sons of Samedi first. After all, the Saints had already made a move against them when they dealt with the homeless and Old Stilwater and Stilwater Caverns were owned by the Samedi until the Saints moved in. Pinkamena was also curious to see how Treehugger would contribute to the Saints.

Pinkamena spotted the other pony sitting on the steps in the lobby and Shaundi approaching her, carrying a light bulb.

“Hey, I got you a present…” Shaundi said.

“A light bulb?” Treehugger asked.

“Yep, but depending on how you look at it, it can be a common object you can buy from any hardware store, or…” Shaundi smashed part of the bulb against the stair railing. “...it can be a makeshift pipe.” She placed some powder into the bulb and heated the bulb with her lighter. “Smoke this.”

Treehugger leaned her muzzle over the smoking bulb and inhaled the smoke. After a moment, Treehugger’s eyes went wide as well as her pupils. She said nothing nor moved for a few minutes, during which time Pinkamena decided to ask Shaundi about what she just exposed to the stoner pony.

“What did you give her?”

“It’s the Sons of Samedi’s number one product, Loa Dust.”

“What do you know about it?”

“Not much, they’ve been selling the stuff all over the campus over at Stilwater U. Frats are buyin’ it by the pound. If we can get enough of the stuff we might find out how to make it ourselves.”

“So your plan is to undercut the competition and steal their market?”

“Yup.”

“How much do you need?”

“I dunno, three pounds? Two for science, one for the weekend?”

“It’s a start I guess.”

“Yes my Loa, your wish is my command…” Pinkamena and Shaundi looked at Treehugger who was muttering about something in the familiar monotone that the madmare was used to hearing from one of her sisters.

“Better make it five,” Pinkamena stated, “I have a feeling we’ll need the extra.”

As Pinkamena was heading up the stairs to exit the mission, she noticed Treehugger was following her for some reason. “Why are you following me?”

“You are going after the Sons of Samedi, yes?”

“Yes…?”

“The Loa of Violence commands me to slaughter the followers of the Loa of Death.”

Pinkamena tilted her head in confusion, it was obvious that Treehugger was still high on the Loa Dust since her pupils were still dilated.

The madmare didn’t have time to deal with the drugged pony so she told her to get into her car while she drove them to the college campus.

On the way there, Pinkamena tossed her an SMG and a pistol. She instructed Treehugger on their use on the way and, to Pinkamena’s surprise, she understood the instructions, even demonstrating her newfound knowledge by shooting a Ronin on the sidewalk. While that action got the gang’s attention for a short time, it was merely a small diversion while they made their way onto the campus.

Once they arrived, Pinkamena and Treehugger jumped out of the car and started what would be perceived as a typical campus shooting. The only way Pinkamena would be able to tell a Son of Samedi from a typical student was that the gang wore mostly green clothes. However, this didn’t stop her from shooting or cutting up ordinary students who had the misfortune of wearing green that day.

Treehugger, however, was better able to tell a student from a gang member. Because her mind was addled by Loa Dust, the followers of Samedi emitted an aura that distinguished them from typical students. The drug had also left her uninhibited so she didn’t care that she was taking lives.

A couple of the gang members each dropped a bag of the drug the ponies needed to get for Shaundi but got two extra bags for Treehugger as well. Pinkamena gave Shaundi a call to inform her that she got the drugs she needed for her science project.

“You got great timing, I just got a tip that Mark Gabby is slinging nearby. That guy brings a lot of money for the Samedi...taking him out should hurt them pretty bad.”

Just as the call ended, a green car passed them by and Treehugger immediately knew it was Gabby for some reason. “A follower of the Baron, he must not get away…”

Suddenly, Treehugger reached into Pinkamena’s mane and pulled out the madmare’s platinum RPG launcher, pointed it at Gabby’s car and fired at it, leaving the vehicle and the drug dealer as flaming piles of scrap and flesh respectively.

Pinkamena yanked the launcher from Treehugger’s hooves, “Give me that!” she said angrily. “Don’t touch my stuff without my permission.”

Treehugger ignored Pinkamena’s complaints and stared blankly upwards. “Your will is done this day, my Loa.” Right then, her pupils returned to normal. The stoner pony looked around in confusion. “Where am I? What was I doing?” she said in a carefree manner.

Pinkamena groaned in exasperation, “You just murdered a bunch of Samedi on a school campus then stole my rocket launcher and blew up that guy’s car.” She pointed at the smoldering remains.

“I did? Wow, that must have been some powerful stuff. Usually I don’t get that violent unless I inhale certain Zebrican drugs.”

Pinkamena rolled her eyes and got out of the car in order to retrieve the drug stash that Gabby was carrying which somehow survived the destruction. She then pulled out her phone to inform Shaundi that Gabby was dead. Shaundi told her to bring the dust to her apartment in Sommerset.

Pinkie took over driving to make sure any vengeful Samedi couldn’t keep up.

On the way to the apartments, Pinkie noticed Playa entering the campus stadium for some reason. She also discovered a nearby flyer that mentioned a series of demolition derby competitions going on today. The party mare put two and two together, with Pinkamena’s help, and realized Playa was participating in the competition. Pinkie dropped the matter and drove away to deliver the drugs.

After the massacre and the competition, Playa had some Saints move in and claim Frat Row for the Saints.

Pinkie received a call from Playa to inform her that some nerd needed her driving skills to escort some women while they pleasured their clients.

“Nerd?” Pinkie asked Pinkamena.

“Someone like Twilight except even more awkward to look at,” Pinkamena said.

“Hey! Twilight’s not a nerd. She’s just not very social, and hides in her library a lot, and has a weird dance, and often talks over my head, and has this weird laugh…”

Twilight grumbled as she stomped around her library looking for books on dimensional travel.

“Hey, Twilight, why are you so upset?” Spike asked.

“I don’t know, but for some reason I feel like I should feel insulted about something but I don’t know why,” Twilight said.

“Whatever, she’s your friend, not mine,” Pinkamena said.

Pinkie dropped Treehugger off at the hideout and returned to Frat Row to help the nerdy person, Lindsey, escort his women, that he somehow convinced to work for him, to the clients and evaded the usual media vultures.

Another Jailbreak

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It was not long after Pinkie helped the young “romance manager” with his business that her phone had received a number of texts from different sources. Word had spread fast that the pink pony who helped shady business owners in the past was active again. There were about thirty-one texts requesting assistance with their businesses. Many of them she was familiar with while others were new for her.

Some tasks she would leave to either Gilda or Treehugger, some would give Pinkie something new to do, some made Pinkamena excited and one particular activity type actually made Pinkamena squee in delight.

After reviewing the tasks, Pinkie placed the activity locations on her map app on her phone.

Lindsey rewarded Pinkie with a strange coupon that was said to provide a significant decay rate of Sons of Samedi notoriety.

Pinkie’s phone rang as she stowed the coupon in her mane so she pulled that out. The call was from Shaundi.

“Hey, thanks for getting me the dust. I’ll try to find out what it’s made of. In the meantime, I got some good intel about a drug lab at Elysian Fields in the trailer park district near the suburbs. Apparently, the Sons have been using the trailer park to develop their products for years. If you can find what trailers they’re using for drug labs, you should have no problem making them go ‘boom’.

“Also, when you get done, I wanna start movin’ some product through the north island but the Ronin aren’t makin’ it easy. I don’t mind goin’ in there and making the deals but you gotta give me some heavy support. I got a friend who has an attack chopper on blocks you can borrow, so that should be interesting…”

“Okay, aerial attacks aren’t really my thing,” Pinkamena responded. “If Playa isn’t doing anything, let him handle the chopper. Meanwhile, see about making sure Gilda knows how to use weapons, especially RPG launchers. If she asks, tell her it’s because I said so. Have her provide assistance to Playa. And give her something to put in her ear so she can receive communications.” The call ended there.

When she arrived at the Elysian Fields Trailer Park, she received another phone call. The madmare groaned and rolled her eyes. To her surprise though, it was from a number that didn’t show up on her caller ID. “If this is a telemarketing scam, I’m burning down whatever company is selling me something,” she thought out loud.

She answered the call and listened, “Listen up: I got some people that need to be taken care of...you take ‘em out and there’s somethin’ in it for ya.” The call ended and her phone received an attachment. When she downloaded the attachment, she received a list of six people. There were also conditions that needed to be met before they came out of hiding and what type of weapon they needed to be killed with. She stored her phone in her mane and began the operation of clearing out the trailer park.

From looking around, Pinkamena noticed a significant number of Samedi were holed up inside the nearby laundromat. It might be the best place to start looking for some clue about where the drug labs were.

Part of her thought about blowing up the entire trailer park along with the drug labs instead of searching the laundromat but that would take away the fun of painting the building red.

Pinkamena decided to target the laundromat first. She used her platinum RPG launcher to blow up any cars parked near the building along with any Samedi guards. Those that remained alive outside the building were quickly gunned down by her SMGs.

The madmare switched to close quarters combat with her knife as she cut down the Samedi inside the building. She did everything she could to turn the inside of the building into a horrific crime scene while giggling at the thought of making a few janitors quit their job due to the sheer magnitude of the mess she was making.

During her rampage, Pinkamena noticed a number of explosive devices lying around. The devices appeared like a portion of them had a sticky surface and appeared like they could be detonated remotely since she also found a remote detonator. Knowing about the fun that could be had with such devices, she stuffed each device into her mane.

She came across a map of the trailer park with her targets marked on it with red circles. She ignored the map in favor of causing a lot more damage.

Outside the laundromat, the Sons of Samedi were none too happy to see her as they pointed their pistols and SMGs at the madmare. The group of Samedi tried concentrating their fire on her as a group but she managed to take cover before the shots were fired.

As the group continued their focused attack, they didn’t notice the flying object that landed in the car behind them. They never noticed the object and never knew what hit them after Pinkamena pressed the button on the remote detonator, triggering a huge explosion that blew up the car, the gang members and the trailer behind the car.

Pinkamena rushed forward and literally cut into the surviving gang members with her knife.

The madmare had to work fast because more Samedi would be coming to protect their drug labs. She planted every charge she had on the nearest trailers while bucking cars, civilian and Samedi alike, into the trailers that didn’t have satchel charges planted on them.

Once she was a safe distance away, she hit the button on the remote detonator again and observed the glorious explosions that took place. The blasts would likely be seen for miles.

After the Sons of Samedi abandoned the ruins of the trailer park, Pinkamena checked the ruins to see if she could confirm something. The only thing she saw was a piece of a shirt that said “Security” on it. Thinking that was good enough, she crossed Shannon’s name off her list of targets.

To say that Gilda was nervous about being on the battlefield for the first time would have been an understatement. However, she did everything she could to make sure it didn’t show, her pride wouldn’t allow it.

Her crash course in using weapons had been simple since all she needed to know was which end the bullets or rockets came out and where the trigger was so she could shoot. The only thing she needed to learn in the field was how to aim. She took some time to learn that before she had to take to the field. It didn’t take long for the griffon to get the hang of her new weapons.

She was ready for the field just in time before Playa signaled her to follow him to Elysian Fields. Playa gave Gilda a receiver for her to place in her ear. He then got into a car and drove there while Gilda followed him from the air.

After a few minutes of driving and flying respectively, Playa and Gilda arrived at the attack helicopter that Shaundi borrowed. Playa quickly jumped out of his car and headed directly into the flying vehicle’s cockpit.

Once the vehicle was airborne, Shaundi gave the two instructions through their receivers. Their first objective was a Ronin aircraft that was patrolling the skies above the streets and needed to be shot down first. Gilda aimed her RPG at the aircraft when she spotted it, about a few seconds before Playa did. The griffon was the first to fire at it and she managed to shoot it down.

Shaundi’s next objective for them was to provide aerial assistance to a group of Saints that were pinned down in a gunfight against the Ronin. The duo saw that the Ronin had the high ground against the beleaguered Saints.

Gilda pulled out a pair of SMGs and swooped down on the unsuspecting Ronin, gunning down about ten of them before she pulled back up and out of their range. She then pulled out her RPG launcher and fired at the motorcycles that accompanied the attackers. The resulting explosions also took out most of the Ronin in the area. Playa finished off the rest.

“Wow,” Gilda thought, “I haven’t felt this much of a thrill since...well...now that I think about it, I’ve never had this much thrill back home.”

After the initial assault, Shaundi began driving all over the northern island of Stilwater to sell drugs to her contacts. Gilda and Playa provided an aerial escort for the lieutenant. Playa focused on the Ronin vehicles that pursued Shaundi while Gilda provided anti-air support against the Ronin helicopters. The ground forces sometimes fired rockets at them but Playa was able to easily dodge the predictable rockets and Gilda was more agile in the air than a helicopter as long as she was paying attention.

Once Shaundi’s rounds were complete, Playa returned the attack helicopter and Gilda returned to the hideout.

Shaundi gave Gilda a coupon for a fifteen percent discount on weapons store purchases. The griffon would ask Pinkamena about them later.

While the action in the sky was going on, Pinkamena hunted down her prey.

The madmare used a jet ski to get to the nuclear power plant before she dialed 555-6677 and reported an accident. A man in a hazmat suit arrived and Pinkamena tackled him to a wall before affixing him to said wall with electrodes buried in his wrists and ankles. She then wired the electrodes to a car battery through a switch. Once she turned the device on, she put on a pair of sunglasses and watched the light show as Jim was fried.

Pinkamena looked through some music tracks at the Scratch That store in the suburbs when she noticed her target, Roje, looking through them as well. Without looking at him she pulls her pistol out and shoots him in the head before ringing up her selections. If she ever made it back to Equestria, there was an old acquaintance of hers that might want to listen to them.

For her next target, she decided to brutally injure some random person and call an ambulance for them while following the paramedics to the hospital nearest the Downtown district. Once she got inside, it didn’t take long for her to locate Mike and fill him full of holes.

While Pinkamena was against drinking herself under the table to kill a target, she was not against giving free beer to some random college student and hiding while they waited for Clint to show up. A few people who looked like Clint appeared on her minimap before too long. However, Pinkamena managed to track down the correct target through her Pinkie Sense before jumping into Clint’s car, throwing Clint’s buddy out of the car and onto someone’s grill, and shoving a pinless grenade down her target’s throat before jumping out and awaiting the satisfying explosion.

Since Greg was in the witness protection program, it was likely he would have police near him as protection but Pinkamena wasn’t worried as she ordered one of everything from the Freckle Bitch’s menu. As expected from her client’s intel, Greg showed up to offer franchise opportunities while wearing a lamb mascot outfit. The madmare hurled a molotov at the mascot and his police escort which burned the cops alive while the mascot survived. She then grabbed the mascot, slammed him onto a table, and stabbed him in the chest with her kitchen knife as if she were performing a ritual sacrifice.

Once the targets were all dead, the mysterious caller called again and promised to deliver a supply of grenades for the Saints to use.

Pinkamena’s phone rang, this time it was from Playa.

“Hey, meet me at the overlook in Rebadeaux, Shaundi and Treehugger are getting into an argument about something related to the Loa Dust and I was wondering if you could translate for your friend.”

Pinkamena hit her head against the steering wheel several times, causing her car to honk each time. With a sigh, Pinkamena drove to Rebadeaux to see what the stoner pony had gotten herself into this time.

Shaundi and Treehugger were still fighting by the time Pinkamena got there.

“I keep telling you what it is, you gotta listen more,” Treehugger said.

“And I keep sayin’ I’ve never heard of whatever you call that plant,” Shaundi countered.

“It’s a Zebrican plant that is native to Zebrica but it also grows in Gaiti.”

“I’ve never even heard of those places.”

“You should find them on a map easily.”

“Enough!” Pinkamena shouted. “Treehugger, we’re not on Equus anymore those places wouldn’t exist on the map. However, this world does have parallels to our own.” She looks at Shaundi, “I believe she is referring to a type of marijuana that is native to Africa and Haiti. However, she doesn't know what you call it here.”

“Then I guess we need to call in someone who can tell us,” Shaundi said. “I do know of someone but there’s one problem...she’s in prison.”

Pinkamena thought about it for a moment before she realized who she was talking about, “Wait, you mean Laura?”

“You know her?”

“I went on a number of drug deals with her over the years and set up a number of parties for the school district before she finally got caught by the cops.”

“In that case, it’s time to bust her out. And I know just the thing. Samson, get over here!”

Samson walked clumsily to Shaundi while carrying a box and holding a detonator. Pinkamena’s Pinkie Sense went off and she ran to Samson in time to grab the box and detonator before he tripped and possibly set the bomb to explode too soon.

“Nice catch. Plant that bomb near the old generator underneath the prison and you should be able to sneak in no problem.”

“And how do I get down there?”

“I’m getting to that, relax...just swing around the back of the island and go in through there...it’ll lead you to the generator.”

Pinkamena nodded and stuffed the bomb in her mane before heading to the nearby dock to steal a boat to the island.

The boat ride was uneventful and she docked the boat near what looked like an abandoned mine shaft. The rest of the way to the generator was also uneventful. Once she planted the bomb, she retreated to a safe distance before the explosion.

Moving forward, the prison was in chaos as alarms were blaring but the prison lighting was dark enough for her to sneak past some prison guards...but what would be the fun in that?

The prisoners were rioting and fighting the guards but the prisoners also attacked each other as if it were every person for themselves. Since they adopted that mentality, Pinkamena saw no reason to spare the prisoners. Her infamous psychotic grin decorated her face as she used her knife to indiscriminately slice and dice every guard and prisoner in her way, leaving a trail of gore and scenes akin to blood-filled horror movies behind.

Her actions were cathartic to her because after dealing with the headache known as Treehugger, she needed it.

Eventually, the madmare made it to Laura’s cell. “Pinkamena? Is that you?”

“Hey Laura, let’s get out of here.”

“A jail break? How exciting!”

For Laura’s sake, Pinkamena toned down the gore on her way out of the prison which the housewife slash drug dealer was grateful for.

Their escape involved taking a helicopter which she let Pinkie drive. On the way back to the city, Laura stated her eagerness to see her husband, Tobias, who had been incredibly supportive of her while she was in jail.

Later, when they arrived at Laura’s house, Pinkamena asked if she could work with a friend of hers to help determine what went into the trademark drug of the Sons of Samedi. Laura was confident that she could easily figure it out and Tobias agreed with that as he stood in front of the doorway. The two lovers embraced and Pinkie couldn’t help but smile for the lovely couple.

After the two shared a tender moment, Laura told her pony friend that she would head to the Saints hideout to help identify the drug tomorrow.

With that, the door closed and Pinkamena went back to the hideout.

Meanwhile, while the madmare was breaking Laura out of prison, Playa led a crew of Saints to drive the Samedi out of Pilsen.

Hippies' Worst Nightmare

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Pinkamena had some time to kill while she waited for Laura to finish analyzing the Loa Dust. To help things along, Pinkamena had Treehugger spend the night with Laura and Tobias. She had a feeling that the three of them would get along quite well.

While she waited for the analysis as well as translating the stoner mare’s analysis, Pinkamena decided to pay another visit to the prison island. There were a couple of things that she could do there to pass the time.

The first activity was located at Hangman’s Wharf near the prison. When she arrived at the meeting place, she was contacted by some famous talk show host named Anna who wanted to show her sponsors why cancelling her was a bad idea. Apparently, they thought she was too honest with her talk show.

Once again, Pinkamena received a list of six individuals and what was needed to lure them out of hiding. She put her phone away for the time being and focused on the other activity.

Her second contact was, strangely enough, one of the police officers in charge of the prison. He introduced himself as Officer Taylor. “Welcome to prison…,” he said.

“Hoping I get a long term stay here?” Pinkamena asked with a smirk on her face.

“After what you did last night? Hell no. We’re not even a quarter of the way done cleaning up your last mess. I’m not stupid enough to try to kill you either. I ain’t throwin’ my life away for what is obviously suicide.”

“Smartest cop I’ve met so far.”

“Anyway, we got ourselves a fight club goin’ on among the prisoners and the guards are makin’ bets on the side. If you can go a few rounds in the ring, we can get the most cash from the bets before my coworkers wise up. Whaddya say?

“Sure, I’ve been meaning to get some exercise anyway.”

With that, Pinkamena entered the ring while making sure her weapons were put away. The prisoners, still enraged from the mare’s rampage last night, were emboldened into thinking that they could take her without her knife and her guns.

They were wrong…

One of the prisoners came in swinging their fists but that ended up turning into a game of bloody knuckles as his fist met the hard keratin of her hoof. Pinkamena countered by breaking the prisoner’s leg with a rear hoof. The prisoner was not getting up anytime soon.

More prisoners came into the cage and tried attacking her at once. She dodged strikes when there wasn’t an opportunity to counterattack and broke a few bones whenever she could.

Eventually, the prisoners started using whatever objects were thrown into the cage. Thanks to her earth pony strength, the objects that would have been heavy to the prisoners were light for the madmare. She used cinder blocks to bash faces or knock them back to the edge of the cage.

This continued until the prisoners began to refuse participation in the fight club out of fear of the seemingly untouchable pony. She knew that her time in the cage was over so she simply walked out of the cage and collected her share of the winnings.

Taylor also gave Pinkamena the phone numbers to Legal Lee’s office and Troy’s personal phone as a reward.

Pinkamena left the prison island quickly, much to the guards’ and prisoners’ relief, in order to pursue her latest set of bounties.

Since two of her targets were in the Red Light district, Pinkamena drove to Rebadeaux and ambushed a Ronin on a motorcycle, using a well-timed buck to knock him off his motorcycle and sent him flying into a wall. The Ronin dropped his katana mid flight for the madmare to pick up as well as his motorcycle for her to hijack.

Pinkamena decided to satisfy her urge to kill pimps by racing past them and decapitating them. She didn’t really care about the info as long as Everett showed up. When his marker appeared on her minimap, she raced to her target and sliced him in two from the waist before turning back around and impaling his neck to make sure the job was done.

She spotted Chris on his motorcycle as he spotted her before he started driving away in a panic. The madmare quickly caught up to her next target and before he could pull out his pistol, she stuck the katana into one of his vehicle’s wheels and caused the victim to be catapulted into the street after some messy impacts from crashing into several cars. The final blow came when a pony-driven motorcycle rammed into him, launching him again and ending with a katana cutting his head off.

Pinkamena’s next move was to set someone’s store on fire with a molotov and get someone to call the fire department. A few minutes later, her target, Tim, arrived on the scene. Just as he was about to enter the building to check for survivors, he was engulfed in flames from a nearby pony carrying a flamethrower. While he was flailing about being on fire, the mare bucked him into the burning store and let the fire finish him off.

Since her next target liked to live underneath highways, Pinkamena searched around the various underpasses until she spotted the cardboard box that she was looking for. After hiding her car away, she approached the empty box and saw no one was there. While she waited for her target to arrive, she decided to take a nap inside the box. She laid on her belly and closed her eyes and pretended to fall asleep.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Pinkamena opened her eyes and noticed her target glaring at her. “That’s my box! Get the fuck out!” Mitri yelled. She rose to her hooves and stretched them, she had no idea how long she had been out because pretending to sleep can make one a bit sleepy. She walked out of the box while planting a satchel charge inside. “Take your stupid alarm clock with you.” She ignored him and walked away. Once she was a safe distance away, she hit the detonator and blew up the box and Mitri with it.

For her remaining target whom she could deal with at the time, she called Troy to get him to call in a squad of FBI agents.

“Can I ask why?” Troy asked.

“A certain talk show host wants some agent named Frank eliminated.”

“You’re asking me to throw an FBI agent under the bus because some talk show host who, and I have a good idea who, doesn’t like him?”

“Yep.”

“I can’t do that, I’d lose my badge and everything, then who would cover up your shenanigans?”

“Look, just tell the FBI that I am on a rampage around the city. I’ll even do so to make it convincing.”

“Yeah, that might work. I’ll make the call right away, you hurry and get on that.” The call ended.

The madmare used her arsenal of explosives to cause millions of dollars in property damage. The tour of destruction went from the Copperton truck yard, through the Red Light district and into Downtown Stilwater and ended after she had caused sufficient damage through the Suburbs.

Nothing was spared, every man and woman on the street was fair game as she burned and blew up people and property alike. Stilwater police were the same as everyone else during her performance.

During her dance of destruction, an FBI car driven by a certain agent was utterly annihilated.

Pinkamena’s phone rang at the end of her performance, this one was from another unknown number. She answered it to find out who she was talking to.

“Good evening, this is Jane Valderamma from Channel 6 News, I know we never met, but I wanted to thank you for that impressive display of destruction you caused. When I saw you in Copperton, I had my cameraman film you and your rampage through the city. Thanks to you, I have plenty of footage that will draw the attention away from that nut job lawyer Zach Johnson. In appreciation for what you did for me, I am forwarding a fitting cash reward to your bank account and providing a coupon for fifteen percent off on all furniture purchases.”

“Umm, that’s great and all,” Pinkamena began, “But I suggest forwarding that coupon to the leader of the Saints since he’s the one who cares about the aesthetics of a house. I will take that cash though.”

“Very well, I will make the transfer when I can.” The call ended.

Believing that enough time had passed, Pinkamena returned to the hideout to review the results.

Pinkamena, Playa and Shaundi were lounging in the lobby of the hideout when Laura was heard coming down the stairs brimming with positive energy as usual. “Hello…” she said.

“Glad you could make it,” Playa greeted.

Laura looked around at the drab atmosphere of the hideout and thought about ways the place could be improved, such as robin egg blue wallpaper while Shaundi was considering avocado green. Playa quickly put an end to the discussion on interior design to focus on the main task.

“Right, sorry. I took a look at the stuff you brought me and it seems that the main ingredient really does grow mainly in Africa and Haiti like Treehugger said.”

“Told ya,” the mare quipped.

“But what’s it called?” Shaundi asked.

“I already told you what it’s called several times.”

“You gave me a name that makes no sense. What’s it called here?” Shaundi demanded, unable to hide her frustration.

Before the conversation became a repeat of yesterday, Laura pulled out her phone and showed her the wikipedia page for the plant. “There you go, will that make things easier?”

Shaundi’s surprised expression couldn’t be hidden, “That’s what their main ingredient is?” She looked at Treehugger, “Why didn’t you say so before?”

The mare looked at the wiki page on Laura’s phone. “Huh, so that’s what it’s called here?”

Playa walked in on the conversation. “As long as we can make this shit, it could have embalming fluid in it for all I care…”

Laura looked at Playa, “Making it won’t be a problem, I’ll give the recipe to Shaundi.”

“Now all we gotta do is stop those fuckers from producing any more.”

Shaundi tilted her head downward and placed her hand on her chin in thought. “Well seeing as they’re turning out so much product they’d need a...oh my god I’m an idiot.”

“What’s up?”

“I...in college I dated this guy who would sell for the Sons, and he mentioned that they used to grow all their shit on a farm off campus.”

“And this is coming up for the first time, why?”

“I forgot?”

“You’re right, you are an idiot…”

“Hey!”

Pinkamena finally decided to jump in to the conversation, “Don’t be so hard on her, Playa, after dating and likely fucking every guy on campus, it’s only natural that she forgot important details.”

Shaundi glared at Pinkamena, “Not helping…”

The mare wore a devious smirk on her face, “Who said I was trying to help?” That comment earned her a middle finger.

Playa thanked Laura for her help and left to burn down the pot farm but Shaundi stopped him saying that the place would be very heavily guarded. Laura offered an alternative by taking Tobias’ helicopter to burn down the farm from the air. What surprised Playa and Shaundi was that someone actually gave a pilot license to a drug peddler.

Since she needed more field experience, Pinkamena had Gilda help Playa burn the lab from the air.

While Playa was busy with that, Shaundi let Pinkamena know that she had more information. “There’s also a dust lab on the second floor of a nearby sex shop. The shop is actually in this neighborhood if you believe that. After we took out their street level dealers, the Samedi leader decided to be a little more discreet in how they move their product. Whenever they cook up a new batch they walk on downstairs and sell to the lonely bastards buyin’ dances from coke whores. Take out the clientele then destroy the dust labs...they’ll never see you coming.”

Pinkamena decided to take Treehugger with her since the task seemed simple.

In the end, the task was simple for Pinkamena and while Treehugger’s performance was adequate since she did kill a few of the clients and a few Samedi, it was still not as good as she was when she was high on Loa Dust but that was fine since the animal activist needed to get used to helping with missions without getting high, Pinkamena would have her use some dust whenever the situation called for it. Though she did congratulate Treehugger for shooting down a helicopter that the Samedi used for aerial coverage.

Gilda and Playa returned satisfied with the destruction they caused as the pot farm burned down. The smoke from the burning plants did irritate the griffon’s eyes somewhat but she was still able to assist by blowing up Samedi vehicles firing rockets at her and the helicopter as well as gunning down any thugs on foot.

The remaining Sons of Samedi attempted to flee the farm but the aerial pursuit quickly overtook the gang members while Gilda used her RPGs to blow up fleeing cars.

For their efforts with both operations, the Saints got Tobias’ phone number and took over Pleasant View and the neighborhood where the hideout was located, Bavogian Plaza.

That night, a grave digger was knocked into an empty grave and buried alive. Justin would never know who killed him.

Wrath of Marinette

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After the near simultaneous takeover of Bavogian Plaza and the burning of the Sons of Samedi primary weed farm, Pinkamena decided to take a break in her efforts to take out the gang.

During this time, Pinkamena called Treehugger and Gilda together in order to educate them on the human terminology and parallels to Equestrian terms. This was easier said than done since neither had much of an attention span. With Gilda, Pinkamena knew she would have a hard time since she and Rainbow Dash were equally difficult to educate for similar reasons. Treehugger’s mind often wandered which soon made the madmare realize that teaching her two henchcreatures was a lost cause.

Pinkamena facehoofed in frustration and wondered how she was going to get those two to be useful to her in the future.

While she pondered about the usefulness of her allies, Pinkamena’s phone rang. Legal Lee had a request for her and she was curious about what it was. The last time she saw the lawyer was during Johnny’s trial at the courthouse.

“Hey there Lee, do you need more insurance claims to file?” Pinkamena asked.

Lee chucked at the mare’s guess, “No, nothing of the sort. Too many of my clients contact their insurance companies and the companies might start asking the wrong questions. I got a different request for you; one that would benefit the both of us in a very pleasant way.”

“What do you need?”

“I got a couple of ongoing cases against the Stilwater PD, and I could use a little leverage.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“I’ve heard that you were the inspiration for a certain TV show called Fuzz a few years back. The show has decent ratings but they can’t seem to find the right cop who isn’t squeamish when it comes to getting the show’s ratings to skyrocket. I’ve heard rumor that there is a pink pony in the Stilwater PD who is particularly violent and might be willing to take part in the show, if you get what I mean…”

Pinkamena held a hoof to her chin for a moment and hummed. “So how far can I go with this?”

“The show is rated TV-MA. As long as nothing happens to the ones recording, the limit depends on your imagination. Only thing is that I wouldn’t advise any slow measures, they only have a thirty minute time slot per episode.”

Lee would never notice the massive creepy smile on the madmare’s face. If the show was as brutal as Lee implied, she might have found her favorite show on television. “I’ll do it on one condition: I want a copy of the footage.”

“That can be arranged.”

Later, Pinkamena donned her police uniform and walked into the station that was broadcasting the show, Fuzz. The producers were surprised and excited at the prospect of recording the mare in uniform on a rampage. When she agreed to take part in an episode, the producers got a camera crew together and a police car the studio acquired for the show.

After that it was a matter of listening to the police radio for disturbances in Stilwater. The incidents were minor at first with purse snatchers who the madmare killed by strangling them with the purse they stole, or streakers who she killed by mangling their private areas with enough buckshot to make them unrecognizable.

The criminal activities got worse from there. From bikers who lost a head from having a grenade stuffed in their mouths because they weren’t wearing a helmet, to people trying to imitate her mayhem rampages only for her to stick a satchel charge on them before burning them alive with a flamethrower, bucking them into a gas station pump which ignited the pumps and burning the people further before the satchel charges overheated and detonated.

Larger groups were dealt with by Pinkamena’s knife which dismembered groups of pirates and ninjas and enemy gang members who were at the wrong place at the wrong time.

There was also a group of college psychos sawing people up with chainsaws and the madmare joined in the madness with her own chainsaw by decapitating and dismembering the psychos in a way not unlike a certain zombie hunting cheerleader. While she would have liked to wear the cheerleader outfit to better fit the image, she had a feeling that she might go too far and end up with the station getting sued by Warner Brothers and a few other publishers. She still needed to get paid after all.

Once the camera crew was satisfied with the amount of footage recorded, the crew and Pinkamena returned to the station where she received her pay along with a Kobra pistol and a cheat-code-that-wasn’t-a-cheat-code-because-it-was-still-part-of-the-game in the form of infinite pistol ammo.

With her latest task done, Pinkamena returned to the hideout to plan her next move. Her return trip was interrupted however, when Shaundi called her to inform her that the Sons of Samedi were recruiting college students at the university student union. She had already sent Treehugger ahead to start things off.

Pinkamena knew that the activist needed the combat experience if she was going to survive in Stilwater, but some part of her was not too happy with Shaundi giving orders to her henchpony. It was a petty matter though so she let the matter slide.

By the time Pinkamena reached the student union, the area outside the student union was empty. Stands were either still standing or toppled over and the only sign that there used to be people around were the bodies of Samedi lying about the grounds.

Pinkamena strode through the area for another minute, making sure the gang members were dead, before making her way to the student union building.

Treehugger was spotted just outside the entrance with a pistol in hoof. She was breathing heavily and she appeared to have suffered a few scratches from close calls from bullets. The look in her eyes was of fear, anger and anxiety bordering on panic. She was not in the correct state of mind to handle the Samedi still inside.

Pinkamena’s Pinkie Sense told her of a potential danger so she put her knife handle in her mouth and approached the mare. The clopping of her hooves gave away the madmare’s position to the panicked pony. Acting on adrenaline, Treehugger quickly turned around and fired her pistol without thinking. Pinkamena used her knife to parry the shot before calling to her, “Whoa whoa whoa, calm down Treehugger, it’s me.”

Treehugger released the breath she didn’t realize she was holding. After a few more breaths, she looked at her boss. “Pinkie? What are you doing here?”

“Wrong pink pony, we’ll work on that later. Shaundi told me she sent you here to deal with the Sons of Samedi recruiting around here. I’m here to make sure that job gets done and you don’t get yourself killed.“

Treehugger nodded and looked at the entrance, readying herself to deal with the numerous gang members inside. Pinkamena simply charged inside and quickly killed a few Sons of Samedi with her gold pistol in one forehoof and her new Kobra pistol in the other.

Pinkamena climbed up the stairs to the second floor to deal with the Samedi there while Treehugger was able to eliminate the gang members that the madmare passed.

After the stoner pony cleared the first floor and the mad pony cleared the second floor along with the student council room, their work at the university was finished. Pinkamena gave a word of praise to her henchpony for handling the situation until she got there. Treehugger smiled at her words.

The duo returned to Pinkamena’s car and returned to the hideout.

For some reason, Pinkamena could feel the smile her sister was expressing. After several minutes of feeling that strange sensation, she turned her attention to Pinkie, “What?”

“That’s the first time you ever said something nice to somepony that wasn’t me.”

“So what, she held her own and completed at least half the objective before I got there, and saw it through to the end. She at least deserved some praise for that, considering how ponies are in general. It’s not like I’m gonna start doing that often, so what’s your point?”

Pinkie’s smile lowered slightly. “If you’re as bad of a pony as you say you are then why bother to praise her?’

Pinkamena deepened her frown. “I don’t know,” she snapped. “For some reason, it just sorta felt right to praise my henchpony. Don’t ask me why.”

Any further conversation from that point was ignored by Pinkamena as she parked her car in front of the mission.

Before she got out of the car, Playa ran out of the mission with a furious look on his face. He ran up to her car once he saw them. “Pinkamena,” he said with fury in his voice, “Did you see where Shaundi went? Some bitch from the Sons of Samedi kidnapped her.”

Playa’s phone rang. Even though he never called or received calls from the number, the caller ID registered the name Veteran Child.

“With a name like that, he must be dangerous,” Pinkie commented. “He might be a skilled warrior or maybe he’s someone’s foal who has been in a war or maybe he’s a foal who has been in many wars or maybe…”

“Or maybe he’s just some pathetic bitch working for the Sons of Samedi who uses a pseudonym for his career which he just cut tragically short by pulling this stunt,” Pinkamena finished just to get her sister to shut up.

“That was going to be my one hundred sixty-second guess.”

Pinkamena ignored Pinkie again and listened to the call. “If you wanna see Shaundi again, you better come to ¢ocks,” Veteran Child said before he hung up.

Pierce ran out of the mission to find out what happened. He already knew that Veteran Child had kidnapped Shaundi but that was it.

“Pierce, Veteran Child wants me to meet him at ¢ocks,” Playa said.

“You think it’s a trap?”

“Probably, but fuck it, he can’t take me. Do me a favor though, look into any other places he might have stashed Shaundi. If you find where he might be, send Pinkamena after him.”

“You sure she can take him?” Pierce asked.

“You know who she is, right?”

Pierce took a moment to remember the madmare’s reputation. “Let me rephrase that: You sure Veteran Child deserves to die like that?’ Playa gave Pierce a look that informed him that he just asked a rhetorical question. “Right, stupid question, I’m on it.”

After Playa drove off, it didn’t take long for Pierce to contact someone who knew where the Samedi DJ was and discover that he had a gig going on at the On Track night club in the Barrio district.

Pinkamena took Treehugger and drove to the nightclub to deal with Veteran Child.

The two ponies worked together to clear out the club of Samedi resistance until it was just them and Veteran Child with Shaundi as a hostage.

“Stay back!” Veteran Child yelled. “Come any closer and Shaundi’s going back to you with a bullet in her head.”

Pinkamena was not fond of hostage situations at all, especially when she couldn’t afford to lose the hostage. Thankfully, someone was nice enough to leave a pile of flashbang grenades near her hooves. She picked one up and pulled the pin before tossing it near Veteran Child who exclaimed before the explosion, dazing both him and Shaundi.

Treehugger took this time to save Shaundi by ramming into her and sending her flying toward the edge of the room and out of the DJ’s reach. Before the stoner mare could get away though, Veteran Child placed his arm around her neck and lifted her to where her head and his were at the same height. “You might not be as big as Shaundi but you’ll have to do.” he said.

Pinkamena facehoofed as she noticed that her henchpony just traded Shaundi for herself. Ultimately, the situation did not change.

“Or did it…” Pinkmena thought to herself. When she thought about it, now was as good of a time as any to test out Treehugger’s abilities while under the influence of Loa Dust. She pulled a small plastic bag full of the substance. She tossed it up into the air once before rearing up for a hard toss toward the DJ and his hostage. “Breathe Deep,” she called out before throwing the bag at the DJ’s feet. The bag exploded, releasing a cloud of Loa Dust into the air. Veteran Child reacted by pulling his shirt over his nose and mouth to protect him from the drug cloud.

“Nice try, but you won’t get me that easily.”

Pinkamena’s grin grew wider by the second. “Who said that was for you?”

While her neck was still free enough to breathe, Treehugger inhaled the cloud as Pinkamena ordered. A second later, her pupils dilated as the drug’s effects took over. A moment later, she pulled the DJ’s arm away by using her earth pony strength to overpower him. She landed on her hooves and followed up by turning around and bucking him into a pillar. Veteran Child quickly fell unconscious.

Treehugger slowly approached him as she spoke, “Oh lost child, servant of the Baron, with your sacrifice, her message to him shall be made.” She turned to Pinkamena, “You who honors my Loa through violent actions against his followers, please help me prepare him for his departure.”

Pinkamena wasn’t sure what to make of Treehugger’s personality while intoxicated and didn’t want to bother finding out so she simply pulled a nail gun from her mane and walked up to the unconscious form of Veteran Child. She got on her hind legs and raised his arm upwards along the pillar before nailing his wrist to the pillar.

Veteran Child quickly woke up and started screaming in agony while blood poured from the wound in his wrist and down his arm. Pinkamena forced his other arm to the pillar into the same position as the other and nailed his other wrist to the wall. Veteran Child’s screaming intensified.

Pinkamena walked over to the intoxicated Treehugger to inquire how she wanted her ‘message’ sent. She had to ask loud enough to be heard over the DJ’s screaming.

“The message must be sent in a way that the Baron would know who sent it: with fire. Do you have anything to ignite the sacrifice?” Pinkamena pulled out a flamethrower and tossed it to Treehugger. “This’ll do.”

Treehugger finished the preparations by collecting Veteran Child’s spilling blood and using it to draw a circle around the DJ and decorate it in a way to show that the circle was to be used in some sort of ritual. Pinkamena found a supply of candles in the club’s storage area and brought a few to the green mare who assembled them along the circle and lit them. With the preparations complete, Treehugger aimed the flamethrower at Veteran Child.

In only a moment, Veteran Child was engulfed in flames. The screams continued until his consciousness could no longer be sustained by his immolated body.

A few small fires remained but those could be handled by the owner of the club. The two walked out of the nightclub with Shaundi following them.

Shaundi’s curiosity finally got the better of her after they left the club, “So I gotta ask, what’s with this whole acting like some cultist thing you got going on?”

“I speak for my Loa, Marinette, the Loa of power and violence. The substance you call Loa Dust allows her to connect with me so that I may be the instrument of her vengeance against the treacherous Baron Samedi. His followers murdered mine and so I shall return the favor.”

“Wow, well if you feel like hurting the Sons of Samedi even more, I did get some intel on a few drug labs in Shivington. Burning those down should really put the hurt on them.”

“Yes, we shall burn more of the foolish followers of the Baron and the source of their power. Lead the way.”

The Stilwater Fire Department did not get any sleep that night as Shivington burned.

Air Superiority

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After burning down Shivington to burn a few drug labs, Pinkamena and Treehugger, who had come down from her drug-induced high, returned to the hideout. For her efforts to be useful to her, Pinkamena felt that her henchpony deserved some rest. She placed the hungover mare on her bed in a room she reserved for her. Pinkie took over and provided some water and some medication to help with the hangover symptoms.

After quietly leaving Treehugger’s room and leaving a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the door, Pinkie decided to ask her sister what her next move will be.

“How many more contacts that need assistance are left that are in Sons of Samedi territory?” Pinkamena asked back.

Pinkie checked her phone to check. “Looks like there are two more. The other fight club request at the Ultor Dome and a request to defraud insurance companies at The Mills.

“For the fight club, looks like the coach of one of the contenders for the more official fight club wants someone to take the place of his athlete who has a broken hand and a torn ACL...whatever that is.

“Someone named Doctor Sheldon saw how Playa and you worked together to defraud insurance companies through Doctor Raymond Gonzales’ records. Looks like Ray got caught after what happened and Sheldon wants us to do the same thing for him.”

“Sounds like Sheldon doesn’t have much common sense if he didn’t learn from Raymond’s mistake,” Pinkamena commented.

Pinkie giggled, “Nope, doesn’t look like it.”

“So, you know what’s being offered as a reward?”

Pinkie examined the requests further while rubbing her chin with a hoof, “Looks like the fight club coach is offering stimulants to increase melee strength.”

“Pass on that, but I wouldn’t mind more exercise in bone breaking. I can already buck people into walls so there’s no need to hit harder than that. Playa could probably use it though.”

“Sheldon is offering some magical shoes that make it so you never get tired no matter how much you run.”

Pinkamena snickered, “Bet you wish you had those when you were delivering invitations to Gummy’s birthday party to everypony in Ponyville.”

Pinkie giggled, “With that I could plan even more parties in half the time.”

Pinkamena decided that they would handle Dr. Sheldon’s request later because she was in the mood for a brawl as she headed to the Ultor Dome to participate in the mixed martial arts competition.

Just like what happened in the prison fight club, the madmare sewed terror into the hearts of the fighters as she shattered limbs with her hooves. Her use of blunt objects gave concussions to plenty of fighters and her small size and agility made hitting her a challenge. Her Pinkie Sense made dodging blows effortless that she was practically cheating, not that there were any rules against the use of Pinkie Sense.

Partway through the fights, some officials had the mare tested for performance enhancing drugs but were disappointed to find that she was clean. The officials had no choice but to allow the matches to continue.

After Pinkamena had ended the careers of a number of contenders, the mare was banned from MMA for crippling the fighters. She agreed to the ban on the condition that she get her share of the winnings and her reward. While the officials wanted to deny her reward, she had Legal Lee on speed dial and she could easily open a racial discrimination case against the association if they refused her. Five years was plenty of time for Legal Lee to get talking ponies to be recognized as a sapient race in the city.

With the threat of a court case against them the officials had no choice but to give the madmare her cut of the winnings and the stimulants that she would give to Playa later.

Shaundi called Pinkamena while she was on her way back to the hideout. She informed the mare that she just remembered her first date with Veteran Child involved going to Spackle Fishing Industries in Sunnyvale Gardens and stuffing frozen fish with Loa Dust.

“Are they still doing that?” Pinkamena asked.

“Yep, you can destroy another of their supply lines if you take out the fish in the freezers and blow up the boats they’re using to move the stuff.”

“Sounds like fun, I’ll get right on that.”

Pinkamena proceeded to blow up another Sons of Samedi operation by cutting down more gang members, tossing grenades into the freezers which caused the loa dust inside the fish to ignite, using her party cannon to blow up fishing boats and sinking the larger boat by breaching its hull from underneath with a can opener before piloting the boat to sail away from the docks and into deeper water where it would behave like the submarine that it wasn’t.

Shaundi called Pinkamena again, this time she sounded desperate about something.

“Pinkamena, get to the hideout now! The Sons are attacking and the boss is baked off his ass. We could really use the assistance.”

“Is Gilda helping?”

“Right now, she’s the only reason we’re not swimming in Samedi. I just got word that Pierce is being tailed by every Samedi watching over the Ultor Dome neighborhood. He’ll be here any minute. Hurry!”

The call ended and Pinkamena hurried to her car and drove straight to the hideout.

On the way there, the madmare got another phone call. This time it was from Gilda.

“Hey boss, I was wondering about something.”

“Yeah?”

“Could I take one of these Samedi to my hut? I wanna find out how these humans taste.”

Pinkamena cringed at Gilda’s suggestion. While she was willing to eat meat, she wouldn’t go so far as to eat humans. Of course, Gilda was a griffon so it stood to reason that she might be curious about meat you couldn’t find on Equus.

“As long as they’re of the Sons of Samedi, but only one. I’d rather you not get sick because you gorged on too many if you actually like the taste. Plus, these guys have been smoking the stuff that Treehugger’s been, I don’t want your performance affected if you turn out to be a lightweight if you eat whatever they smoked.”

“Got it, I’ll be careful then.”

Pinkamena ended her call once she spotted Pierce’s vehicle being chased by a number of Samedi cars. Coming upon the tail end of the convoy, she fired round after round from her party cannon, destroying every car that got in her way of getting to Pierce’s vehicle.

Pinkamena and Pierce arrive at the hideout while Playa and Shaundi were under attack by the Samedi. However, the number of attackers dwindled as the enemy gang members were subjected to death from above as a certain griffon bombed them with rockets and bullets.

Pinkamena reached the other Saints to see how they were doing.

Playa took a look at Pinkamena with a goofy grin on his face. “Pinkamena...Pinkie...I never realized it before but you two must really love pink. How-how does your hair get so straight? Is it some kinda hair conditioner?”

Pinkamena glanced at Shaundi who shrugged. She knew the leader was high but she never expected for him to be so wasted. She shook her head. “How’s Treehugger?”

“She’s inside making sure the Sons are all gone,” Shaundi answered.

“Good. Looks like Gilda can handle things from here. Let’s head inside and make sure we’re clear.”

Once the wingless Saints made the descent into the hideout, Playa drunkenly walked over to the couch and tripped over it, falling on his back and limbs splayed on the floor and one foot on the couch. He didn’t bother to get up, finding the hard floor to be comfortable.

Treehugger laughed at the display. “Lightweights are so funny when they’re high.”

Everyone went to their rooms for a few hours to rest while Playa took a nap on the floor.

The Saints claimed the Ultor Dome while Playa was napping.

After Playa recovered from his hilarious little misadventure, Pinkamena walked out of her room to investigate some loud noise. It turned out to be Pierce complaining to Playa that he doesn’t get to do enough. The scene she was watching reminded her of a parent remaining calm while his child threw a tantrum.

While they were arguing, Shaundi walked up to Pinkamena. “While he’s throwing a fit, you think you can get Gilda to shoot down a few Samedi helicopters carrying a shipment of dust? I’d say her head start would be however long I can get these two to stop fighting and focus on the helicopters.”

Pinkamena pulled out her phone to call the griffon and inform her about the helicopters.

“Find out how many of those green helicopters there are flying around and take out half of them.”

“Why only half?” Gilda asked.

“Because it seems like Playa and Pierce need the bonding experience and it irritates me when Pierce goes around whining about having nothing to do.”

Gilda chuckled, “Pierce sounds like a chick.”

Pinkamena chuckled with the griffon, “A really needy chick.”

The two shared a laugh over the phone before the call ended and Gilda took off after the helicopters.

While Playa and Pierce did get to have their bonding experience, they were also curious about the lack of helicopters in the sky. If the Sons of Samedi were trying to ship in plenty of dust, they would likely need at least six but they only encountered three.

Finding no more helicopters in the air, Pierce and Playa returned to the hideout.

With the Samedi temporarily distracted by the loss of the dust shipment and the inevitable weakening of their position in the drug market, the Saints claimed Sunsinger, the former location of Pleasant View.

This left the Sons of Samedi with only three neighborhoods left under their control.

Voodoo Duel

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With the loss of the latest shipment of Loa Dust, the Sons of Samedi were officially crippled in the drug market. With the Saints able to produce the drug themselves and the Samedi presence dwindling in Stilwater, the Haitian drug cartel wasn’t going to last much longer.

Even after recovering from his intoxicated state, Playa was still able to identify the leadership of the Sons of Samedi. The leader called himself The General. Apparently, nobody knew his real name. All Playa really knew was that The General didn’t have a headquarters, choosing to conduct his dealings and observe his gang from a constantly mobile limousine.

Playa also learned about The General’s lieutenant, Mr. Sunshine. Once again, there was no known name for the enforcer of the Samedi. All that was known was that he was the one coordinating the gang’s actions. Losing him, the Sons of Samedi would not be able to remain in Stilwater for much longer.

Before making any further move against The General, Pinkamena decided to convince Playa to come with her to The Mills and assist her with a familiar activity. Playa had a feeling that she was referring to something they sometimes did five years ago and decided to just go along with her request.

At a clinic in The Mills, Playa and Pinkamena met with Dr. Sheldon. “How ya doin’, Doctor Raymond Gonzales says you’re highly recommended,” he said.

“How is the doc?” Playa asked.

“Oh that stunt you pulled with him landed him in jail.”

“Oh...sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, he was a dick. Anyway I was wondering if you could run the same insurance scam with me…”

“I hope you have a plan to avoid Raymond’s fate doc,” Pinkamena remarked.

“You let me worry about that. You two worry about playing in traffic and breaking bones.”

Just like what happened five years ago, the activity was much the same: Pinkamena was finding new and exciting ways to horribly maim a person and Playa was ragdolling his way into a massive insurance claim.

After that day, anti-violence groups had a lot more objects to protest about, especially after Pinkamena’s creative use of a fire hose, a pillow and a rubber chicken.

Thankfully, Playa managed to avoid being hurt too badly to warrant a hospital visit and the two each received a set of magical shoes that allowed them to sprint indefinitely. Sheldon had Pinkamena’s set customized for her hooves.

Pinkamena let Pinkie try out the new shoes for a few hours. During this time, the party mare demonstrated some parkour by jumping between buildings to reach the top of one, landing on people’s heads without her weight crushing them, using people’s heads as stepping stones while pretending the roads and sidewalks were lava, jumping from car to car to cross a street, running along the side of buildings, and many other stunts that ranged from difficult to impossible.

After Pinkie had her fun with the shoes, the mare returned to the hideout to rest before the next operation.

The next day, Playa had Pierce, Shaundi and Pinkamena accompany him to the old drug factory at Black Bottom, formerly Pilsen. The Saints had stored all of the stolen Loa Dust in the abandoned warehouse until they were able to transport it to the hideout.

Pinkamena brought Treehugger along to provide additional assistance to the Saints.

While they were inspecting the crates of drugs and preparing them for transport, Pierce decided to complain again, “I hate this standing around shit, why can’t somethin’ exciting happen?”

“Would you shut up Pierce?” Pinkamena demanded. “Are you trying to invoke Murpo-- Murphy’s Law?”

“Whachu talkin’ ‘bout? That shit don’t happen in real life, only in movies, manga, video games, fanfiction and other shit written by people.”

Just then, a group of drug junkies entered the warehouse, guns blazing.

While Pinkamena and Playa worked to repel the invasion of drug-starved homeless bums, the madmare took the time to comment on Pierce’s comment, “So how does that crow taste, Pierce?”

“I’ll get the truck…” he said with a defeated tone and a sigh.

“If I were to guess, I’d say bitter,” Shaundi commented.

Playa, Pinkamena, Shaundi and Treehugger spent the next few minutes defending the warehouse from waves of desperate junkies. Shaundi was clearly getting impatient waiting for Pierce but Pinkamena couldn’t care less about the wait since she was enjoying herself with the slaughter of the bums.

Eventually, Pierce finally arrived with the delivery truck. Playa ordered Pierce and Shaundi to work together to load the truck while he, Pinkamena and Treehugger covered every entrance to defend the warehouse.

Once the truck was loaded, Playa ordered Pierce and Shaundi to get in the truck while Treehugger was to make sure the cargo didn’t fall out of the truck since they didn’t have time to secure the crates.

Playa and Pinkamena followed the truck in an abandoned car and made sure the junkies didn’t cause too much trouble. Pinkamena increased the protection coverage by jumping into a junkie’s car, shooting the driver, tossing the corpse into another pursuing junkie’s windshield and driving the car alongside the truck.

The group had little trouble getting back to the hideout. Once they arrived, the Saints started unloading the cargo and bringing it to a more secure location in the hideout.

A couple of junkies tried to escape with a couple of crates but one got run over by a car and Playa shot the other in the back. He chased after the junkie hoping to find some information on Mr. Sunshine’s whereabouts.

During the transport, one of the crates was smashed over Treehugger’s head and the stoner mare ended up getting a heavy dose of Loa Dust into her system. When Pinkamena removed the crate, she was very surprised by what she saw. She could only guess that the dust had interacted with her magic somehow as that would be the best explanation by what she was seeing. Treehugger’s coat had turned pitch black while her red and orange mane and tail had turned to a brilliant scarlet, the color of blood. The sclera of her eyes had turned the same color as her mane. The bandanna that she usually wore had fallen off during the transformation. Pinkamena would look for it later.

Treehugger’s next words filled the madmare with anticipation for what was soon to come, “The time has come. The blood debt must be paid. The Priest of the Baron and the Champion of the Baron shall burn this day. So declares Marinette.”

Playa returned a few minutes later with good news, “Well, I found out where Sunshine is hiding out.” His glance turned to Treehugger’s altered form. “What happened to her?”

“I get the feeling that if you don’t take her with you to kill Sunshine, she’ll make you regret it,” Pinkamena stated.

“I’ll take your word for it,” Playa said after a few moments of staring at the Avatar of Marinette. “Alright, you and you in the car with me.” He pointed to Pinkamena and Treehugger.

“I’m coming too.” Shaundi stated.

“No.” Playa denied.

“But-”

“Playa’s right Shaundi,” Pinkamena said. “You have been useful in information gathering with your many contacts but when it comes to a fight you always need someone to come rescue you. Treehugger is usually a very gentle pony and even she can hold her own with or without the dust. Letting yourself get kidnapped by that loser Veteran Child didn’t do you any favors either.”

Shaundi fumed over what the mare said then complained to Playa, “Boss, are you gonna just-”

“She’s right Shaundi, stick to tactics.” Playa ended the conversation and the Saints leader and two mares got into his car and headed for the meat packing plant.

Once they arrived, Playa and Pinkamena slaughtered the defenders outside the building while Treehugger walked inside on her own to clear a path to Sunshine.

From her ebon hoof, manifested a spectral blood red machete. While the Sons of Samedi do not normally believe in ghosts despite how crazy the gang was, they couldn’t deny the evidence heading for them faster than thought possible. By the time they noticed that she was already upon them, they were already dead.

Treehugger used the blood of her victims to paint symbols on herself while using her own magic to fuel the enchants.

Once Playa and Pinkamena caught up, the madmare smiled at Treehugger with pride as she saw the bloody path she walked.

Playa headed into the main production room where Sunshine was sitting in a chair with a number of candles around him and a red circle with a red triangle and red symbols painted on the wall behind him. Sunshine got out of his chair and held a machete in his left hand and a doll in his right.

“Kneel before the Son of Samedi…” Sunshine shouted. With a simple motion of his right arm, Sunshine shifted the doll while Playa mimicked the doll’s movements. He then used Playa to aim his pistol at Treehugger but Pinkamena slammed into him to prevent his weapon from hurting the dark mare.

“Take him out!” Pinkamena shouted to Treehugger while holding Playa back. “And make it brutal.”

Treehugger nodded before jumping on the railing and over to the platform where Sunshine was. The voodoo priest reacted with a downward slash from his machete but Treehugger rolled out of the way. She manifested her spectral machete and evaded another strike from Sunshine while she sliced into his left thigh. She collected the blood that spilled using the spiritual magic granted to her by Marinette.

She traded her spectral machete for a spectral doll and infused Sunshine’s blood into it. In a quick motion, Treehugger slammed the doll into the wall and Sunshine followed. The impact made him drop his doll and his machete. She manifested her machete again and quickly sliced off his remaining ear where one was missing.

Without his ears, the voices of the loa were silent to Sunshine. For the first time in a long time, he felt vulnerable.

In desperation, Sunshine picked up his machete and tried to cut up Treehugger but the mare dodged the first strike and countered by cutting his hand off. Sunshine grasped the stub where his hand was with his other hand but Treehugger cut that hand off too before cutting his feet at the ankles.

With Sunshine's extremities rendered to stubs, Treehugger used Sunshine’s spilled blood to draw a ritual circle around her and placed his candles around it and one in the center where she would make the offering to Marinette. Once the circle was complete, she placed the spectral doll over the flame and watched the doll burst into flames.

At the same time, Sunshine howled in pain as he burst into flames as the wrath of Marinette engulfed him. Deprived of Baron Samedi’s protection, Sunshine felt every ounce of pain that the flames wrought upon him. He instinctively tried to roll to put out the flames but they wouldn’t be snuffed out so easily. He watched in horror as his skin turned black as charcoal and yet the sweet embrace of unconsciousness would not take him, likely a part of the wrathful voodoo spell.

Once his mortal shell could no longer sustain his soul, he was pulled free from the mortal coil only to realize that the pain of the flames would not cease as his soul was claimed by the vengeful Loa of Violence.

Pinkamena looked on at the scene with sadistic glee and couldn’t hide the wicked smile on her face as she watched the magical brutality take place. Sunshine would not find peace in death, only an eternity of flames awaited him.

Once the ritual was finished, Treehugger returned to her companions and out the way she came. “The day is not yet finished, we must find the Champion of the Baron and end him. Only then will my Loa’s vengeance be complete.”

After what she saw, Pinkamena was more than happy to let Treehugger finish off the Sons of Samedi if only to witness the mare’s violent nature one last time before moving on to other, non-drug related gangs.

Blood Debts Paid in Full

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After Playa, Pinkamena, and a dust-influenced Treehugger left the meat packing plant where the voodoo-charged mare cremated Sunshine and cast his soul to the mercy of the Loa, Marinette, Playa called in some Saints to secure The Mills for the gang.

At this point, the only neighborhood under the influence of the Sons of Samedi was Prawn Court. However, taking that place wouldn’t do much good since The General was always mobile in his car and could be anywhere in Stilwater right now. Of course, his elusiveness and his few bodyguards were the only things protecting him from the Saints at this point.

The only problem was finding him.

Pinkamena was growing concerned about Treehugger because there was no telling how long the mare was going to last if her new form was sapping her strength. She seemed quite adamant about wanting to finish the Sons of Samedi today. She was going to need to find The General fast before Treehugger lost too much strength from maintaining that form.

Playa had no idea how he was going to find the Samedi leader in the city since that would be like looking for a needle in a haystack. He decided to call Shaundi to see if she had any ideas. The lieutenant told him to meet her at the gym. After giving the address she hung up.

The drive to the gym lasted a few minutes before the trio entered the gym to talk to Shaundi who was running on a treadmill.

“You three gonna stand there, or you gonna work out?” Shaundi said after the trio was staring at her for ten seconds.

“I get enough cardio running from the cops,” Playa commented.

“Suit yourself.”

“I’m surprised you can run five minutes without coughing up a lung, let alone five miles.”

“I’m full of surprises.”

Pinkamena decided to interrupt the banter to get the group back on topic. “Look, we need to find The General and take him out fast. No telling if Treehugger’s form is hazardous to her health and I’d rather not find out. You know a fast way we can find him?”

“Well, if he’s still riding around in that limo of his, we can tap into the traffic cameras at the police station.”

“Are you sure that’ll work?” Playa asked.

“Probably.”

“Shaundi…”

“You got any better ideas? Besides, we still get to have fun raiding a police station.”

“What do you mean ‘we’?”

“So I take it one of you has some skill in hacking traffic cameras?” Shaundi’s question was answered by a silent admission of her point. “Yeah, that’s what I thought...let’s go.” After walking out of the gym, Shaundi called Pierce to request some electronic equipment to be delivered to the hideout.

On the way to the Saints Row district where the police station was located, Shaundi commented that they would need disguises to infiltrate the police station. Treehugger was dropped off at the hideout on the way to the station since she was not interested in killing police at the moment. Shaundi also commented that Pinkamena would need to find an alternate way into the station since she was suspicious no matter what disguise she wore since she was a pony. Pinkamena conceded that fact and made sure her grappling gun was ready to use.

Shaundi pointed out a commercial van advertising Stilwater Video Repair which they were going to hijack after disposing of the driver.

After the hijacking, Playa and Shaundi each put on a jumpsuit that were conveniently in the van. Shaundi complimented Playa about his appearance while he was embarrassed to be walking around in a jumpsuit.

Once the van was parked outside the police station, Playa and Shaundi walked up to the front door while Pinkamena got out of the vehicle last and rose to the top of the building with her grappling gun.

While the two humans were making their way to the monitoring station, Pinkamena decided to snoop around the building and find her own way to the monitoring station.

While wandering around, Pinkamena came across Troy’s office and decided to see what was inside. She didn’t notice anything noteworthy about the office interior but she did notice something on Troy’s desk.

What she saw were three devices, each one was stick shaped and each one was colored: two blue and one yellow.

“Hey!” Pinkie spoke, “Aren’t these set up kinda like my cutie mark?”

Now that she noticed it, the three devices were set up in a sort of triangle position with the ends pointed at the chair and toward her. The blue ones were closer to her while the yellow one was closer to the chair. One last thing they noticed was a folder that the devices were on.

“Could this be the clue about the boat explosion?” Pinkamena thought.

“Of course, let’s take them with us,” Pinkie said.

Just as she grabbed the devices and the folder and stored them in her mane, the station alarm went off. Pinkamena noticed a number of cops that were on their floor moving downstairs.

“It’s a trap!” Pinkie shouted.

“No, that was most likely Playa and Shaundi making their move to hack into the monitoring station.”

Pinkamena rushed out of the office and cut down every cop that got in her way to get to the other Saints. Once she made it to the fourth floor, she spotted Playa and Shaundi nearby. She then proceeded to guard the stairs while Playa guarded the door outside that led to a helipad.

After several agonizing minutes of minimal resistance, Shaundi was finally finished hacking into the traffic cameras and the three hijacked a chopper to make a quick escape back to the hideout.

Pierce arrived at the hideout shortly after with a truck full of electronic equipment.

Playa walked down the steps into the hideout and addressed the Saints in the lobby, “Alright people, here’s the deal. We got a truck full of electronic shit that I don’t know how to use...I want you guys to help unload the truck and set up shop here. Once we’re up and running I want someone watching these monitors 24-7; the moment someone sees that fucking limo I wanna know about it...let’s get to work.”

The Saints scrambled to get the electronic equipment set up like a security station. Once Shaundi’s laptop was hooked up and the equipment installed, the Saints began vigilantly monitoring the screens for any sign of The General’s Hounfor.

It took a few hours of careful monitoring but the Saint put in charge of the cameras had finally found the limo. After informing Playa of his finding, he alerted Shaundi and Pinkamena who informed Treehugger that The General had been found.

The General was located heading in the general direction of the Rounds Square Shopping Mall so playa ordered a crew of Saints to set up an ambush at the entrance to the mall.

Once Playa, Shaundi and the ponies were gathered, they quickly headed for the ambush location to prepare for the final showdown with the leader of the Sons of Samedi.

The quartet quickly made their way to the location and got into position. Once the limo was spotted, Shaundi radioed the ambushers to get ready.

The next few seconds were deadly silence as the limo got into position. Suddenly, the limo was hit by a large bus driven by a Saint. This impact was the signal to a large battle between the Saints and the Sons of Samedi. Pinkamena moved in and started making a mess of the area by scattering blood and viscera everywhere with her kitchen knife. Treehugger had only one objective as she advanced on the wrecked limousine, cutting down the Samedi thugs in her way with a spectral machete.

Knowing that his guards were losing, The General made a break for the shopping mall and ran inside. Treehugger gave chase while the others were finishing up the bodyguards.

The voodoo-powered mare carved a path through the mall with the bodies of the Samedi that arrived to protect their leader.

By the time Treehugger caught up with The General, he was already in his customized Bulldog vehicle and trying to run her over. Treehugger manifested a pair of spectral talons at her forehooves as she dodged the vehicle and slashed into the hull. The slash left a molten gash on the vehicle as it drove off in an attempt to get away.

Treehugger manifested a pair of spectral wings and flew after The General. The mare managed to dodge the gunfire from the Bulldog while getting close to leave more molten marks on the vehicle. The attacks continued until the vehicle overheated and The General jumped out of the car.

The General got up to face the pony that was giving him such a hard time but her appearance was quite surprising. “Who or what are you?” he asked.

“Greetings, Champion of Baron Samedi, I am the avatar of the Loa that your Baron has wronged. This pony allows me to use her body to exact my vengeance upon the Baron.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You are the one who ordered the slaughter of the followers of Marinette by the order of Baron Samedi. He has invoked a blood debt that shall be repaid this day with your life.”

That was when The General realized that his past had come back to bite him. He knew he had ordered the mass slaughter of those who followed Marinette of the Dry Arms but he never knew that someone would rise to become the avatar of her vengeance. Without the magical support of Mr. Sunshine and no skill of his own in the voodoo arts, he knew that the sins of his past were staring him in the face and he was not walking away without paying with his life.

The pony wasted no more time talking and charged the Samedi leader with blinding speed and began slashing at his flesh, leaving cauterized wounds with each scratch and filling his mind with information of numerous burn marks that were agonizing.

Treehugger’s spectral machete cut a gash into The General’s thigh that did not cauterize. The mare captured the blood and used it to create the voodoo ritual circle she needed to finish him. Her victim collapsed onto one knee and the mare stood in the circle and raised her machete to her own neck. She then proceeded to cut deeply into her own neck but her neck didn’t cut. Instead, a gushing wound appeared on The General’s neck and he gagged and choked as blood poured from his wound.

His death came when Treehugger ignited his blood from the outside in. The burning blood roasted the Samedi leader from the inside out until his soul was freed from his body and into the embrace of the vengeful Loa.

Once the chaos died down, Treehugger took a deep, calming breath and looked upward with a distant look in her eyes as she spoke, “At last, the blood debt has been paid and my followers may now rest in peace. Oh equine child of the earth, if ever mine, or my Zebrican counterpart’s powers are truly needed again, you shall be able to wield our might once more. Until then, rest and gather your strength; for she who shall conquer and rule the darkness of the equine world shall need you to fulfill her destiny.”

With that, the powers that took Treehugger over dissipated. Her coat returned to its lime green color and her crimson mane and tail returned to its red and orange state. Her energy spent, Treehugger’s hold on the conscious world was lost.

The last thing she saw before she blacked out was a pink mare running to her.

For the Watch

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After Treehugger collapsed in the mall after bringing an end to The General and effectively dismantling the Sons of Samedi, Pinkamena ran up to the mare and checked to make sure she was still breathing. To her relief her breathing was steady. She also poked the mare a few times with her hoof and saw her wince each time but didn’t wake up. Pinkamena suspected that the transformation had taken a toll on her body and she would need a lot of rest to recover...at least she hoped.

Playa and Shaundi helped put Treehugger into one of the many Samedi vehicles that littered the mall as a result of the incident. Since the hospital wouldn’t know what to do with a pony and bringing her to a veterinarian would be an indignity to a pony, the unconscious mare was taken to the hideout where they would let her rest.

Since her part of the campaign against the gangs of Stilwater was complete, Shaundi gave her phone number to Playa and Pinkamena so that she could offer her assistance should they need it.

To put the final nail in the coffin with the Sons of Samedi, the Saints moved in and secured Prawn Court, sending a message to the remaining crazy, green shirt-wearing thugs that the gang was finished and their only choice was to either change their flags or drop them.

With the Haitian drug cartel out of Stilwater, the Saints once again had control over the drug market and with the Loa Dust recipe in their possession, they were intent on holding the leading position in that market for a long time.

Before the Saints decided on the next gang to target, Playa decided to let the Saints take a day off to do whatever they wanted.

However, Pinkamena brought news that would ruin their day off but give them something fun to do while they were in between gangs.

Playa was relaxing on the couch in the lobby when Pinkamena approached him. “What’s up?” he asked.

“I wanted to show you a few souvenirs that I got from the police station.” Pinkamena pulled out the three recorders. “I have a feeling these are related to Troy’s investigation of the boat explosion.”

“Really?” Playa quickly repositioned himself into a sitting position on the couch. “Let’s find out what they say.” He pulled one of the blue recorders and after a few moments of figuring out how it worked, he found the ‘play’ button. Once he pushed the button, his ears were greeted with a little static before the recording started.

Troy received a call from Dex, while he was sure the Saints, except for Pinkamena, had not discovered his identity yet, he could only hope this would be a friendly conversation. “What’s up Dex?”

“I know you’re a cop…”

Troy was taken aback by Dex’s accusation but he knew that there was no sense in hiding it anymore anyway. Still, he was curious how he found out. “The fuck are you talking about?”

“Come on, man, who you think you’re talkin’ to? The tactics, the police station thing, your shitty haircut...even that pink bitch had you figured out. You couldn’t have made yourself look any more obvious, even if you walked around with a sign that said ‘I’m a cop.’”

Troy was glad that Dex couldn’t see how embarrassed he was over the phone but he had a feeling that he knew anyway. “So what are you gonna do?”

“Nothin’.”

“What?”

“I’m out Troy. I got offered a job at Ultor, I’m droppin’ my flags and I’m goin’ straight. I just want to make sure we’re not gonna have a problem.”

Dex hung up.

“Guess he never got over the times I showed him up,” Pinkamena commented.

“What do you mean?” Playa asked.

“The fact that he called me a bitch meant that he might bear some negative feelings toward me and the instances with Angelo and Monroe are the reasons why he would think so...that and I suggested that he take the matter of the Colombians with Julius but he snapped at me and did his own thing. Julius even threatened to put me in charge of the Carnales for his stunt.”

“Huh, I guess I can see why Dex would be like that.”

Playa pulled out the second blue recorder and started the playback.

Troy walked up to the prison cell that held the leader of the Saints, Julius Little. The man was sitting in his cell with his head down, thinking.

“How ya doin’ Julius?”

“I was doing better before I got arrested.”

“I wanted to talk to you about that…”

“I bet you do,” Julius snapped.

“Listen Julius, you’ve made some bad choices, but you’re a good man, let me help you.”

Julius turned his head to look at Troy, “What do you want?”

“My higher ups want the Saints to be gone and I can’t overturn that decision. So there’s two ways that can happen.”

“You can arrest all of us,” Julius pointed out as the first option.

“Or you guys can quit while you’re ahead,” Troy concluded. “This is my investigation and I can miss a few collars.’

“What are you saying?”

“Dex is out of the game, and you’re in jail. If you can convince Johnny, Lin and your number two to drop their flags the Saints will fall apart since there’s no way the gang will follow a pony and everyone goes home happy.”

Julius looked at Troy as if he had suddenly developed dementia. “Do you honestly think that’ll work?”

Troy began looking at Julius pleadingly, “You think I like arresting my friends? Convince ‘em to quit and I won’t have to.”

“There’s no way that Playa’s gonna stop. Pinkamena’s a fuckin’ psychopath who would just turn serial killer if the Saints fell apart.”

“Make Playa understand. I’ll see what I can do to curb Pinkamena’s wrath. I might be able to get her to stay calm...at least for a little while.”

“Let’s say I can stop Playa, how do I know I’m goin’ free?”

“I’ve already talked to the Mayor, Hughes is willing to give you guys pardons.”

Julius took a deep breath and let it out. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Did Julius have something to do with the bombing?” Playa asked.

“All this proves was that Troy made a deal with Julius to get the Saints to disband, though for some time I did suspect that he might have, what with disappearing after the bombing.”

“It sounded like he sold us out to save his own skin.”

“I think I already know what this last recording will be about but let’s listen to make sure.”

Pinkamena pressed ‘play’ on the yellow recorder.

Troy just saw the explosion on the news and noticed that it was the mayor’s yacht. The police officer was outraged by the over the top display of convincing Playa to stand down. He picked up his phone to call Julius. When he answered, Troy shouted into the phone, “What the fuck was that?!”

“It was the only way.”

“I said talk, not set off a goddamn bomb!”

“Relax Troy, the Saints are finished...don’t try to find me.” Julius hung up.

“Shit!” Troy said to himself as he prepared to dial Pinkamena’s number. “Thanks to that idiot, now I gotta hurry and do damage control before she finds out and gets pissed.”

“Well, the city’s still standing so whatever Troy said to you must have calmed you down.” Playa’s expression quickly changed from amusement to a deep scowl. “And I learned that Julius is a dead man.”

“I only held myself because Pinkie convinced me to listen to Troy. I might be pissed with Troy’s betrayal, but I’m willing to avoid any confrontation with him as long as he’s still useful to the Saints. As for Julius, he used us like some tools to get rid of rival gangs then discarded us. That might not have been his original plan but that’s how it turned out. Since he was the leader once, I might let him decide how he wants to die.”

“So how do we find him?” Playa asked.

“Dunno, but maybe I know someone who does.” She pulled out the folder from her mane that she got from the police station. Opening it, she saw a few papers on Dex as well as his current phone number. She pulled out her phone and dialed the number. When she heard the line pick up she spoke first, “Hello Dexie.”

“Pinkamena...shoulda figured you’d be the one to find the files in Troy’s office. Since I assume you went through them, then you should know that Julius set you up...meet me at the old church and I’ll tell you where to find Julius.” Dex ended the call without waiting for a response.

Pinkamena clicked her tongue, “Is everyone in this world so rude that they can’t even say a proper goodbye before they hang up? Dex said to meet him at the church but my Pinkie sense is telling me it’s a trap so I’ll hide out near the church and jump in once the trap is sprung.”

“Sounds like a plan. Anyone you wanna bring along?”

“Yeah.” Pinkamena called Gilda to tell her to follow her from a distance. Once the order was given, Pinkamena left the hideout with Playa to meet Dex at the old church.

Once they arrived near the church, Pinkamena hid in the shadows of a nearby building and Gilda perched on its roof. Playa went in alone while Pinkamena pulled out some listening equipment to hear what was going on.

Instead of Dex’s voice, Pinkamena heard Julius’ voice as he was surprised to find Playa in the church instead. After what the madmare said earlier, it didn’t take long to put the facts together, “So, this is the trap Pinkamena was talkin’ about.”

“Trap? Fuck! I shoulda known Dex would set us up,” Julius mused.

The church came under attack mere seconds later as some armored individuals wearing orange suits moved in. Playa managed to repel the initial waves before more showed up. Pinkamena emerged from her hiding spot to slice through the Masako, as Julius called them. The armored vans were torn asunder by Pinkamena’s party cannon. The two humans emerged from the church and ran toward the car beyond the south entrance. She followed them before the car drove off.

“I see you brought her along,” Julius commented and sighed. “At least you don’t have any hard feeling towards me.”

Pinkamena put on a cheerful smile but said nothing.

The Masako chasing the group were drastically reduced in effectiveness thanks to a griffon flying around and shooting down helicopters and blasting vehicles from the air.

The group arrived at an old amphitheater and proceeded to finish off the last of the Masako Dex sent to deal with them.

With that out of the way, it was time to deal with the real matter.

“Just like old times you two…” Julius said.

“Yeah…” Playa replied before pulling a gun on him.

“Wait!” Pinkie took over and knocked his arm aside.

“The fuck are you doing Pinkie?”

Pinkie ignored Playa and looked at Julius, “Why would you betray the Saints like you did? There’s gotta be a good explanation for why you did that. Please tell me there’s a good explanation.”

Julius scowled, “What did the Saints actually accomplish by throwing out a bunch of gangs from Stilwater? Even after all we did, drugs were still being pushed, innocent people were still getting killed, no small contribution from the two of you, all we did was turn into Vice Kings that wore purple.”

“Jesus Christ, you sound like a pussy…” Playa commented.

“I sound like someone who’s not a sociopath…”

“You wanna be the killer with a conscience? Fine...drop your flags and write a book like King, but you never shoulda came after me.”

“You tellin’ me if I woulda asked you to walk away you would have said yes?”

“Fuck no, this is my city.”

Julius looked at Pinkie, “And you, when are you gonna learn to put away that goddamn knife and do something productive for the city? When does the killing end?”

Pinkie looked visibly distressed, like she had been accused of a grievous crime that she didn’t commit. “But it wasn’t me, Mena’s the one who does all the…”

“You don’t think I know a mental case when I see one?” Julius shouted. “I know you and that other personality of yours inhabit the same mind and body. Why don’t you stop blaming others for your crimes and take some goddamn responsibility for your own actions!? At the end of the day, you’re nothing more than a cold-blooded murderer. Why don’t you do the city a favor and check yourself into a mental institution and stay there!”

Pinkie’s eyes filled with tears before a cartoonish amount of liquid poured from her eyes. She bawled for a few seconds before the tears stopped and the two minds swapped again. Pinkamena’s expression was unamused with a hint of a parent who was extremely disappointed in their child.

“I was willing to ask you how you wanted to die out of respect for your past leadership. This was a chance that I never offered to my victims…

“You may not understand this Julius but Pinkie and I are not some fragmented personalities. The two of us are each complete which sets us apart from your typical Dissociative Identity Disorder patients. I do all the killing so that Pinkie never ends up corrupted by this city. She never acted maliciously, Julius.”

“Now that that’s sorted...You made my sister cry, Julius. You tormented her heart with accusations that you should have pointed at me. That load of horseapples you pulled made me rescind the offer, and because you made her cry, you’re going to die in a theatrical fashion.”

Before Julius could reply, a hoof met his face hard and he blacked out.

“So, why are we killing him like this?” Johnny asked. “I’d think a bullet would work better.”

“After what he did, his death is going to be slow and painful...and this is a shout out to a certain fan base,” Pinkamena stated.

“So we’re reenacting a scene from a famous television series to kill this guy? Sure, I got nothing better to do anyway,” Shaundi commented.

“Sounds stupid,” Gilda commented. “But if the boss wants this then I’ll go with it.”

“Why isn’t Treehugger here?” Carlos asked.

“She’s still in bed from her episode,” Playa said.

“I want this to go on record that this is some messed up shit,” Pierce commented.

Julius groaned and opened his eyes slowly. “Wh...what happened?”

“Turn around and look,” Pinkamena said.

Julius did as told and saw a wooden post in the ground with a plank nailed on it perpendicular to the post. The plank said ‘Traitor’. He turned around while asking, “The fuck is th-” Before he could finish that sentence, Pinkamena’s kitchen knife was embedded into his stomach.

“For the Watch,” Pinkamena said before removing her knife and backing away.

The other Saints pulled out kitchen knives and prepared for their turn.

Stab

“For the Watch,” Johnny said.

Stab

“For the Watch,” Shaundi said.

Stab

“For the Watch,” Pierce said.

Stab

“For the Watch,” Carlos said.

Stab

Gilda backed away after her turn.

“C’mon Gilda, you gotta say it too,” Pinkamena said.

“Alright, fine, for the Watch.”

Julius, groaning in agony as he bled out from the multiple stab wounds, looked up at Playa who had a furious look on his face and glared at him for a few seconds. “You owe me Playa, if it weren’t for me you and that monster woulda died on that street corner.”

“If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have been in a goddamn coma,” Playa snapped.

“Then I guess that makes us even.”

“Not really.” Playa plants his knife in Julius’ heart. The man collapsed in agony while the sweet embrace of death was slow to take him. Playa turned away from Julius before turning his head one last time to the dying former Saints leader.

“For the Watch.”

Mena's Seven

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By the time the Saints returned to the hideout, Playa had calmed down somewhat after murdering the former Saint’s leader, Julius Little, after finding out his old boss tried to kill him. Pinkamena was silent and staring blankly in the distance during the trip while in her mind she was doing what she could to calm her sister.

After a little while, Pinkamena focused on reality again. Playa soon noticed and let out a sigh, “How could Julius just create the Saints and then toss us away like he did?”

Pinkamena thought about that for a few moments before coming to her own conclusion. “I think Julius created the Saints out of some delusion that he was creating some heroes of justice thinking that the gangs were the main cause of Stilwater’s problems. However, the problem with his thinking was that the gangs were not the problem.

“In fact, gangs are simply symptoms of the real problem: the city itself. My five years of living in Stilwater have taught me one thing, and that’s that this city is a major hotbed of debauchery and vice.

“Demand for sex, drugs and weapons are high. In fact, many of the stores in this town are named from some form of innuendo for sex. I’m pretty sure the student body of Stilwater University is dependent on getting their fix just to get through the semester. While gang violence in the city might be a problem, they, just like ourselves, are taking advantage of the market to profit.

“Julius failed to understand why the gangs were in Stilwater in the first place and simply created another one in the end. Our gang war is simply to eliminate the competition and monopolize the markets. Even if Stilwater police managed to take down the Saints, more gangs would just move in and they’d be back to square one.

“Ultor likely knows this and are likely trying to work with the other gangs in order to avoid any future trouble from them...before they amass enough military to try and take us.

“Basically, Julius lacked the foresight to see that his plan wouldn’t work in the long term.”

“In other words, he was an idiot,” Playa commented.

“Yup.”

Once the Saints returned to the hideout, they returned to their rooms to rest before the next campaign.

Tomorrow, they would decide whether to target The Brotherhood or the Ronin.

When Pinkamena emerged from her room the next morning, she noticed that Pierce was playing with a replica model of a structure along with some figures that looked like big-headed versions of the Saints while Playa’s piece was a chess pawn.

Playa and Johnny saw what he was playing with and asked why he was playing with a doll house. Pierce explained that his plan of attack against the Ronin was to attack their biggest money maker, Poseidon’s Palace Casino. After that, he explained his plan which was a lot more complicated than it should have been before Pinkamena interrupted.

“Pierce, I’m sure you thought your plan through well enough but one think you should know about the Saints: We don’t do complicated plans. None of us want to be George Clooney. Don’t get me wrong, we’re still gonna rob the Casino, we’re just gonna brute force the place and steal the money.”

“But-” Pierce said before being interrupted by Johnny.

“My kinda plan.”

“But-” Pierce was interrupted by Playa this time.

“Fuck it, let’s go...good call Pinkamena.”

As Playa and Johnny left, Pinkamena saw Pierce looking depressed about having his plans be for nothing. The madmare couldn’t care less about how he felt but wanted to be sure he wasn’t holding out on the info. “Got any other info?” Pinkamena asked.

“Huh? Oh ya, I got a couple other places we can hit.

“One of my girls at Technically Legal in Misty Lane called me up and said that a Ronin bachelor party was getting too touchy feely. The bouncers have all been paid not to do dick, so if anyone is gonna teach those assholes a lesson it’s gonna have to be you or Playa.

“There’s also the Ultor Institute for Science and Innovation in Humbolt Park. There’s more to the place than Jacob’s ladders and irrigation shit though. In the center of it all are a bunch of servers that run the Ronin’s web porn ring. Those assholes are making serious bank off their sites, so if you can take those bad boys out the Ronin are definitely gonna be hurting.”

Pinkamena nodded, “So a bachelor party going too far and a children’s museum housing a bunch of servers dedicated to selling pornography? You humans have so little self control.”

“Hey! We got plenty of self control,” Pierce defended.

Sounds were heard in a nearby room. One of the nameless Saints members was shouting loudly in pleasure and with no voice of the opposite gender accompanying it, one could easily imagine what was going on in that room.

Pierce remained silent while Pinkamena left the hideout while smirking the whole time.

Playa, Johnny and Pinkamena headed to the Poseidon’s Palace Casino at the Stilwater Boardwalk. Playa hit a few Ronin motorcycles by accident and got the party started early. The madmare and psychopath who weren’t driving the car got some entertainment. When the aggression died down, Johnny discussed what he knew about the Ronin.

Apparently the Ronin were led by some kid named Shogo Akuji. From what Johnny said, the kid spent more time swimming in vice than leading the gang. If that were true then it was doubtful that Shogo had the charisma to form the gang himself. If he was just some punk kid who rode around on his bike then the Ronin were going to be less of a challenge than the Sons of Samedi.

Pinkamena wasn’t going to let her guard down though, as this meant that someone else must lead the Ronin while Shogo would be easy prey...too easy.

Before they arrived at the casino, Johnny also mentioned that Pierce would be coming by with a crew, likely to collect the money they were about to steal.

The trio arrived at the casino and started shooting everyone inside while Pinkamena hunted her yellow-wearing prey and systematically slaughtered the samurai sword soldiers with her small steel slicer.

Once the initial defenders were dead, Johnny began planting explosives on the vault that held the casino’s earnings. During this time, Pinkamena turned the front entrance into a proverbial meat grinder by cutting down the Ronin who tried to enter the building. Playa made sure the Ronin who were flooding in from the upper levels met a similar fate to his dual SMGs

It didn’t take long for Johnny to finish wiring the bomb and escaping before the blast. Pierce arrived with a delivery truck and a crew to help move the money aboard in a timely manner. Just like the last time Pinkamena defended a delivery truck, she blasted every police car, who chased them because the casino owners called for them, and Ronin motorcycle with her party cannon before the truck came to a stop at Johnny’s house. She finished off the last of the pursuit before the crew moved the money into the house.

Since Stilwater Boardwalk was still heavily guarded by the Ronin but the reinforcements to defend the casino came from Centennial Beach, Playa called a crew to secure the beach from the Ronin.

Johnny, Playa and Pierce assured Pinkamena that they could handle laundering the money while she handled the other matters that Pierce told her about so she decided to head to the nearby Technically Legal.

After turning the strip club into a horror scene slash home for traumatized strippers, Pinkamena moved to the roof of the building and delivered a series of gift boxes via parachute to the Ronin reinforcements at the entrance of the strip club. The Ronin were confused at first by the gift but a push of a detonator button brought a harsh reminder about what the madmare could do as that single button wiped out the Ronin reinforcements with a series of explosions from the boxes that each concealed a satchel charge.

With Misty Lane cleared out, the Saints had no problem claiming the neighborhood.

Pinkamena’s next target was the science museum. When she got there she was met with some resistance from the Ronin but they were unable to deter her from heading to the server room which was upstairs and across a bridge.

The server room was the most heavily defended location in the building but she had one advantage: she was there to kill and destroy anyone or anything that got in her way while the Ronin had to defend their servers and try to avoid collateral damage. She couldn’t have that so she threw in a series of flashbangs into the room and inflicted a few seconds of blindness to the defenders. A few seconds was all she needed to set up her little joke against the Ronin as once they recovered their vision but not their wits, they saw what looked like the madmare tampering with the servers so they quickly reacted by shooting at who they thought was Pinkamena but in their recklessness shot the servers instead while trying to shoot up a bunch of decoys..

The Ronin knew they would be in serious trouble with their boss if he found out that they destroyed their own servers so they did their best to report that Pinkamena had somehow snuck past them and destroyed the servers. It was a weak excuse but they prayed that Shogo would buy it.

Pinkamena shattered a window along the bridge she crossed before and used her grapple gun to pull herself to a nearby Vulture attack helicopter, forced her way into the cockpit and somehow pushed the ejector seat button that launched the pilot upward and into the helicopter blades which resulted in blood and viscera to rain down upon the ground below.

Pinkamena took control of the helicopter before Pinkie took over and piloted the helicopter back to the hideout.

Nob Hill was taken shortly after Playa, Johnny and Pierce had laundered the money and cut down a number of Ronin along the way while Pinkamena’s rampage in the museum helped the Saints gain control of Humbolt Park.

This marked the fourth neighborhood claimed from the Ronin and an excellent start to the Saints’ campaign against the Asian gang.

Burning Out

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After claiming four of the neighborhoods under the control of the Ronin in rapid succession, Playa felt like the Saints deserved some time to have some fun in the city before the campaign against the gang continued.

While the rest of the gang did other things, such as get high, bust a nut, or watch whatever was on television, Playa and Pinkamena decided to deal with some more contacts in the city.

Pinkie looked at the schedule for the day and smiled wide because she finally got to do something. She informed the madmare that today was a good time to accept the requests from the chop shops at Tidal Spring and Filmore. There was another opportunity to defraud insurance companies in Amberbrook and there was a request in Tidal Spring from some actor’s agent to be a bodyguard for his client.

Dealing with the chop shops was likely to take a while as Pinkie might have a little too much fun driving around and dodging cops and gang members. In this case, Playa would have to handle the insurance fraud cases by himself. Pinkamena was also not the type to protect some actor she had never heard of. But she knew someone who might.

Pinkamena pulled out her phone and dialed Gilda’s number and told her to meet her at the entrance to the hideout.

The two met a few minutes later to discuss Gilda’s next task, “I want you to answer the request from the agent at Tidal Spring. I’ll put the location on your phone’s GPS.” Pinkamena spent a few minutes teaching the griffon how the GPS worked. It took some work but Gilda seemed to get the gist of how the application worked.

However, Gilda had a question, “Why should I protect some random dweeb from a swarm of mega dweebs?”

“Aside from the money and the reward, you get to show the people of Stilwater how intimidating griffons are, and if those crazy fans are brave enough to attack you or the actor, well, you don’t mind if your talons get a little bloodied, do you? You could also just throw them into places where they would get severely injured or mangled beyond recognition. If they bring weapons, show them you’re not fucking around. As long as the actor gets through her or his meeting with the fans with minimal injury, you still get paid.”

“So I can handle the dweebs however I want?”

“Pretty much.”

Gilda shrugged, “Well, if I’m getting paid for it, I might as well.” Despite the nonchalance, Pinkamena could detect the giddiness in her voice.

After bidding farewell to the griffon, Pinkamena convinced Playa to help Doctor Angie Lucas, the contact who requested assistance with her insurance fraud scam, despite how much he was not looking forward to the injuries from playing in traffic.

Since this was Pinkie’s thing, the madmare decided to take the backseat and watch her sister play with cars.

When Pinkie reached the first meeting location in Filmore, she was contacted by someone who Pinkamena thought had moved to Colombia with Manuel Orejuela after her boyfriend was killed in a “tragic” plane crash. Apparently something happened to Luz Avalos that caused the Colombian to dump her since she was talking about getting him his favorite cars in some desperate bid to get him to take her back. Pinkie was saddened by the woman’s desperate need to be in a relationship with someone as it showed that Luz had no sense of self worth. Pinkamena had to assure her sister that Luz’s problems were not their problem even though Pinkie really wanted to make her happy with herself.

After further convincing, Pinkamena managed to get Pinkie to head to Tidal Spring to get the other list.

The next chop shop request was from Shaundi who had a friend who needed a few cars to complete an art project involving cars.

Pinkie spent the next few hours hunting for the cars that were specified on her phone after it had downloaded the information from Luz’s and Shaundi’s phones. Most of them were easy to obtain as they often showed up in specified districts. Pinkamena briefly took over whenever the vehicle had to be hijacked since her sister was too nice to simply toss people out of their cars. Sometimes the hijacking victims got a little aggressive which ended up being a fatal mistake. Neither Luz or Shaundi were picky about which garage the cars ended up as long as they could be collected later.

Pinkie hijacked sixteen cars that day and some of them were city property so Pinkamena had to deal with the police sometimes.

Shaundi called again and informed Pinkie that she had acquired a couple of vehicles for the Saints to use as they wanted. Pinkie was interested in the buggy because she wanted to try some driving stunts at some point while Pinkamena saw a lot of killing potential in the combine.

Pinkie returned to the hideout after turning over the cars to the chop shop garages to find Gilda looking as satisfied as an owl who caught a field mouse. The griffon was covered in blood, likely from the crazed fans. When she saw the pink mare, she quickly flew towards her and stopped right in front of her.

Gilda then began regaling Pinkie with her story about how she protected the actor from crazy fans and while they were intimidated by her presence and screeching at first, they began getting bolder so she started slashing at the fans with her talons and when they brought weapons she brought out hers and started gunning them down. There were also a few particularly crazed fans that she ended up hurling into other fans or into interesting places such as rotating helicopter blades, into the path of a train, or into a group of construction workers who were doing road work and weren’t paying attention to what they were doing.

The griffon was telling her story in a way that was not unlike Pinkie’s rapid storytelling. However, she was a bit disappointed that all she got for her efforts was a fifteen percent discount at all clothing stores especially since none of the equestrians wore clothes normally.

Inside the hideout, Pinkie and Gilda, who was in a good mood so she didn’t mind going into the hideout, found Playa being bandaged up by Shaundi. The pony and griffon overheard a conversation between the two.

“So why did you throw yourself into traffic if you weren’t high or suicidal?” Shaundi asked.

“Because the reward usually makes it worth the pain.”

“So was it this time?”

“Not really, all I got was some means to make myself tougher whenever some asshole runs me over with their car.”

Pinkie walked over to Playa and gave him the clothing store discount coupon. “Maybe this will help you feel better.”

Playa took the coupon and smiled, “Actually, this does make me feel better. Thanks!”

Pinkie’s smile widened, feeling happy that she made someone’s day better.

Pinkie’s phone rang and the ID showed that it was Johnny. Pinkamena took over and answered the call. “Hey,” she answered.

“Hey Mena, I caught one of the Ronin ridin’ around our turf. After some ‘friendly’ conversation, I learned the Oyabun, the leader of the Japanese Yakuza, is headin’ to Stilwater. He didn’t tell me much more afterward but we are gonna need a new table.

“What do you know about him?”

“Kazuo Akuji’s the son of Shogo Akuji, When I was in jail I would listen to some of the Ronin talk about what this guy did in Japan...kinda up there with the stuff you do to your victims.”

“Sounds like someone I wanna meet and see if the rumors are true.”

“Anyway, there’s some more of those fuckers headin’ to the hideout, have fun.”

After the call ended, Pinkamena decided to take her new toy out for a spin. The mayhem on the road in the next few minutes was unspeakable as a combine demolished a number of cars and shredded a good number of pedestrians as the farming vehicle made its way through a group of Ronin bikers.

On a possibly related note, several members of city sanitation demanded triple wages or simply quit.

With the bikers dead, the Saints had no trouble claiming Tidal Spring.

After Pinkamena put away her new toy, Pierce called and informed her that the Ronin had set up shop at the Amberbrook Museum Pier near where she and the Saints killed Julius. Pierce had no idea what they were doing there but there was plenty of security. All this really meant to the madmare though was more slaughter and more blowing stuff up.

Since going through the amphitheater was not entirely necessary to get to the shipment of whatever the Ronin were bringing in, Pinkamena approached the pier from underwater and punched holes in the boats the Ronin were using to move their shipments. None of the Ronin realized that the madmare was around until it was too late.

While the Ronin were staring at the sunken boats wondering what happened, Pinkamena emerged from the water and ambushed a few of them from behind. It wasn’t long before the pier was cleared of Ronin and the madmare headed up the cliff to the amphitheater to deal with the unsuspecting guards who had not realized that they had nothing left to guard.

After Pinkamena finished her business at the amphitheater, she decided to spend some time at her house to relax before deciding her next move against the Ronin.

Johnny arrived at the house at around the same time. As the two were walking up the driveway, Pinkamena felt a sensation through her Pinkie Sense. After taking a moment to analyze the meaning, she turned to Johnny and asked a question, “You don’t mind if I do a little remodeling of our house, do you?”

“Nah I don’t mind, I was gettin’ bored of all the old decor anyway.” he narrowed his eyes toward the house in suspicion before returning his gaze toward the mare, “Why?”

“Call the fire department and get ready to kill a lot of Ronin.”

Johnny nodded and pulled out his phone to call the fire department, once the call was finished, he got his gun ready.

Pinkamena went around to the back of the house and opened the door slightly and rolled a lit molotov cocktail toward the nearest flammable object from the doorway. The flames spread quickly and the houseguests inside began to panic as the flames quickly grew to uncontrollable levels.

The leader of the group ordered his men to flee the house. As they emerged from the doorway, they were shot in the head, one by one. The leader drew his katana and blocked Johnny’s shots as the Ronin enforcer advanced toward him.

His advance was cut short as he caught sight of a katana flying in his direction and was forced to knock the object away. This left him open to a shot in his right arm from Gat that he used to block a shot meant for his head.

Faced with tough odds, Jyunichi considered all possible means of escape. Thankfully for him, reinforcements arrived but with the element of surprise gone, he was forced to retreat while his fellow Ronin held off the deadly duo. Before he left, he yelled something at the mare in Japanese.

“Of course I would burn down my own house to kill you, who do you think I am?” Pinkamena responded.

Jyunichi said nothing else as he got on his motorcycle and got away, leaving the large group of Ronin to deal with the city’s deadliest duo.

They did not last long.

“Nice way to spend the evening,” Johnny commented.

“Yep, now the author has to figure out how ‘Visiting Hours’ is going to go since you didn’t receive that grievous sword wound like you did in the canon.”

“What?” Johnny asked.

“What?” Pinkamena asked.

47 Ronin

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“Did you really have to burn the whole place down?” Johnny asked, “Some of my favorite pieces were in there.”

“I’m sure they’re fine, the fire department got there pretty quickly after we trashed the Ronin,” Pinkamena said. “Besides, we’ve got more important things to do. I already called Playa and he’s getting Pierce to look into when Kazuo Akuji’s flight is supposed to come in.”

“So all we can do now is sit on our asses and wait for Pierce?”

“We can always entertain ourselves in the meantime. I need to see what contacts I need to work on. Why don’t you go fuck up some Ronin in the meantime?”

“Yeah, I might even run into that fucker that tried to attack me in my own home.”

Pinkamena smirked, “First one to find him, wins. Loser buys dinner.”

Johnny scoffed, “No bet, there’s no way you won’t find him first. But do record the execution for me.”

“Sure thing.”

With that, Pinkamena returned to the hideout while Johnny spent the rest of the day hunting Ronin.

At the hideout, Pinkamena quickly noticed Treehugger was up and about and stretching her muscles. The madmare was glad that her henchpony had made a full recovery.

When Treehugger noticed Pinkamena, she trotted over to her with a smile on her face. “So how did I do?” she asked.

Pinkamena took a moment to realize that she was referring to her dealing with the Sons of Samedi. However, she did have one question for the activist pony. “Just how much do you remember?”

Treehugger put a hoof to her chin as she thought about the question before responding, “I remember most of it, except for that part after I saw myself kill The General. Seeing myself perform voodoo magic reminded me of my time traveling around Zebrica. I learned a lot of things from the zebra shamans there and I guess at some point I learned about Zebrican voodoo magic.

“I have no idea who Marinette was though, but she reminded me of another point in my Zebrican studies about a violent spirit who should never be invoked unless in the most dire of circumstances because flames and destruction follow those who invoke Zarinette.

“I’ve heard that zebras who invoke Zarinette have the white on their coats turn red and are quite bloodthirsty, even more so toward those who oppress villages.”

Pinkamena had to stop her story before it got too long by pressing a hoof into her muzzle. “Story time later, are you able to help again?” Treehugger nodded. “Good, head to Rebadeaux, the location can be found on your phone. The mayor wants some help with her revenge against Ultor. It has something to do with defacing property owned by that company. When you’re done there, head to New Hennequet in the suburbs. I wasn’t sure what to make of the client but the request was about the same as the last one. The client said that he knew Stefan and I know I’m considered an enemy among the eurotrash community after what I did to him so that’s all the more reason for you to handle this.”

Treehugger asked a question once Pinkamena removed her hoof. “So what are you going to do?”

“I agreed to take part in another episode of ‘Fuzz’ and I’m due at the studio in an hour. By the way, have Playa drive you to Rebadeaux, he decided that he wanted to take the next shift of driving women around so they can fuck the clients.”

“Are you sure he should be doing that? I’ve heard about his driving skills.”

“The rumors are true, but maybe he will finally realize that he needs to take driving lessons after that. Not holding my breath though.”

Pinkamena left the hideout and headed to the studio.

It wasn’t long before Pinkamena was impersonating an officer of the law again. Among the crimes that she stopped, she eviscerated a child predator and showed the body to the children, traumatizing them. She ran over a jay walker at seventy miles per hour. She threw a drunk driver out of his car and burned him with a molotov cocktail. She killed an assassin by jumping from a rooftop and landing on them, Assassin’s Creed style, while using the hidden blades she hadn’t used in a long time.

She heard about someone defacing property with a septic truck but chose to ignore that and focus on the one who stole an expensive car. While chasing the car, it ended up going past the reported septic truck and into the path of some brown, vile, and foul-smelling muck. Pinkamena caught up to the car and set the vehicle on fire with a molotov, burning the passenger inside.

After the camera crew traveling with her reported that they got enough footage, Pinkamena drove the crew back to the studio.

Shortly after Pinkamena returned to the hideout, Shaundi approached her with a concerned look on her face. “What’s going on?” Pinkamena asked.

“Well, shortly after the boss finished helping some guy escort his prostitutes around, he got caught in an accident and is now in the hospital. He wouldn’t give the details about how it happened but he sounded upset about it.”

“Sounds like he totaled his car in an embarrassing way and didn’t want to talk about it. He can’t drive his way out of a paper bag sometimes.”

“Really? How did he get his license?”

“He didn’t.”

“Explains why he never went to the DMV to get it renewed. Anyway he said you’re in charge till he gets back from the hospital.”

“Alright, so did Pierce find out when Kazuo Akuji’s plane was going to land?”

“Yeah, he’s got the plane manifest now.”

“Take Pierce and a crew and take out any Ronin you find. If you see Akuji, make sure he never leaves the airport.”

“You sound like you’re not coming.”

“I’m gonna take Johnny and close any gaps that might come up. You never know.”

While Pierce and Shaundi were keeping the Ronin busy, Johnny and Pinkamena kept an eye on the roads out of the airport from a tall hill and noticed a car driving away from it. Using the scope from a sniper rifle, Pinkamena saw the car’s passengers. She recognized Jyunichi and an elderly man in the backseat who she figured was Kazuo Akuji.

With her targets located, Pinkamena and Johnny began their chase.

After scolding Shogo Akuji over the phone for nearly allowing his father to be killed by the Saints, Jyunichi hoped to spend the rest of the ride to the Tohoku Towers in silence.

This was not meant to be as he spotted a lone pink pony on the road in the path of the car. The smile on her face was very disturbing.

Jyunichi stopped the car and got out, requesting for Kazuo Akuji to remain in his seat in Japanese. He slowly approached the smiling mare while slowly drawing one of his katanas. He could tell there was a trap in place but he didn’t know what it was or where it was. All he knew was that the pony in front of him had set some sort of trap.

The pony acted by throwing a kitchen knife at Jyunichi which he batted away with his katana. What he wasn’t expecting was a second knife flying at him from behind while using the sound of the first knife to conceal its presence in the wind. The second knife found its target in Jyunichi’s left calf. The Ronin grunted before several more knives flew at him from the front which he managed to block with his katana. He expected another attack from behind but it never came.

Sensing the danger of the situation, Jyunichi yelled back at the car to demand Kazuo flee from the scene. Kazuo did so as he sensed the danger as well and he wasn’t about to die because of his idiot son who he blamed for him being in this situation.

Jyunichi was alone after Kazuo had made his way to the driver’s seat and drove away. The Ronin was in a tough spot. He wasn’t sure about whether he was facing one opponent or more. All he saw was the lone pony in front of him and he couldn’t take the time to remove the knife from his leg as that would leave him open to another attack.

Another barrage of knives came from the pony in front of him and he blocked each attack flawlessly.

Until a metallic cuff clamped around his neck before two of the remaining knives flew through both of his arms, leaving...bullet holes?

With both of his arms wounded, Jyunichi dropped his sword and fell to one knee. He looked ahead in time to see the image fade from a pony to Johnny Gat holding a pistol.

“That was a neat trick Mena, where’d you learn that one?” he asked.

“That one’s for you to figure out but let’s just say that playing ninja was really fun.”

“Ninja?” Jyunichi said before he started shouting at the real pony in Japanese. The chain attached to the collar around his neck yanked him onto his back on the road.

“Do I look like I care about honoring your culture or not? This isn’t Japan and you’re gonna find out how I do things.”

Pinkamena nodded to Johnny before he slammed his pistol hard into Jyunichi’s face, knocking him out. The madmare then called Pierce and had him round up exactly forty-six Ronin. While that might be a difficult task, the Ronin that they were fighting at the airport would be a good start. Pierce informed her that it would take some time to gather enough but he would do so.

After disarming Jyunichi, Johnny called in some Saints to pick him up before he and Pinkamena returned to the hideout and enjoyed some well earned sleep.

Playa was still in the hospital the next day. Pierce was still working on capturing the Ronin Pinkamena needed for her latest project. The mare, meanwhile, was setting up a number of contraptions that she would need for her latest project.

During this time, Pierce informed her about some gambling operations occurring at the Marshall Winslow Rec Center in New Hennequet. She had Treehugger accompany a crew to raid the place and capture as many of the Ronin as they could while also tearing apart the operation by smashing all of the slot machines and stealing or burning as much of the money as they could. Since the casino was hidden unlike Poseidon’s Palace, the money wasn’t traceable.

The number of Ronin guarding the rec center was enough to reach the target number that Pinkamena needed for her latest project.

In a special area prepared by Pinkamena, the captured Ronin, including Jyunichi, were brought there one by one by the Saints and placed into the apparatus as instructed by Pinkamena.

The apparatus was a series of forty-seven devices that the person’s arms were locked into and each device was holding onto a tanto, also known as a Japanese short sword. In this way the device was made to forcefully make the person hold their tanto. At the same time, there were locks placed on the floor where each Ronin would be forced to sit on their knees while the locks held them in place.

Another part of Pinkamena’s project was to have the Saints raid a number of clothing stores for forty-seven sets of white clothes, underwear was optional.

Pinkamena sat at the front of the room wearing gold colored clothes of a shogun while the Saints who assisted her with the task sat in lines to her left and right.

Each Ronin was forcibly changed into the white clothes before being escorted into the room and placed into the apparatus. Jyunichi was last and while he did struggle sometimes, it was in vain. When he saw the apparatus and the white clothes, he knew what was about to happen. He remembered the story and even saw the movie remake of that story. Once again, the Ronin enforcer complained to Pinkamena in Japanese.

“Does it look like I care about desecrating Japanese tradition?” Pinkamena responded. “All I’m doing is reenacting the final scene from that movie. You lot had the gall to call yourselves a bunch of rogue samurai so now you’re going to be reminded about what happened to people like that.”

Pinkamena wasn't planning on reenacting every detail of the scene but she would try to make it close to accurate except in this case, nobody would be spared unlike what happened in the scene.

Once Jyunichi was placed into the apparatus, Pinkamena had the cameras set up so she recorded the event from different angles. Once the cameras began recording, Pinkamena took a moment to look at the Ronin enforcer with that same wicked smile he remembered from before his capture before she pushed the button that activated the apparatus. All at once each device moved and quickly forced each tanto into the guts of each Ronin as they screamed and howled in agony as the devices began moving horizontally to ensure that each Ronin was effectively disemboweling themselves.

After the system had done its work, the mare checked each Ronin to make sure that they were all dead. When she finally reached Jyunichi last, she noticed he was still barely alive but that would fix itself soon.

The Ronin spat one last curse at her before he expired. However, Pinkamena didn’t believe in curses which was at least one thing she had in common with Twilight Sparkle.

With the project complete, she turned off the cameras and left the room to prepare for the next offensive against the Yakuza wannabes. She would edit the footage from the cameras later.

Burying the Son...

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With their gambling operations crippled and their enforcer having ‘committed seppuku’, the Ronin were really hurting. The Akujis were now vulnerable to major attacks by the Saints. The question that remained was where their hideout was.

While Shogo was young, reckless and stupid, chances were that his father, Kazuo, was going to keep him on a short leash. The old man was not the leader of the Yakuza for nothing.

For now, all Pinkamena could do was wait until something came up.

“Maybe we can go rescue some people from those mean guys who wanna abuse their sexual services?” Pinkie offered.

“You mean rescuing hos from some pimps?” Pinkamena tried to correct.

“Yeah, that, there’s someone who needs help like that at Brighton in the Downtown district.”

“Do you know who the contact is?”

“Someone named Helmers.”

Pinkamena frowned deeply, “Fuck that, I’m not helping that guy.”

“Why not?

“I heard about him from Playa, he’s insecure and the reason his hos leave him is because they can’t stand him. Honestly, if I have to see him, I’m not sure I can hold myself back from…” Pinkamena took a moment to choose her words to avoid disturbing her sister. “...from turning him into one of my art projects.”

“So what do we do about him? He still needs help.”

“Let Playa handle it. It’s about time he got his lazy ass out of the hospital anyway.”

“Wanna go visit him?”

“Might as well, I got nothing better to do anyway.”

With that, Pinkamena decided to head to the hospital where Playa was staying. On the way out, Johnny decided to tag along since he was getting bored of simply mopping the streets of Ronin.

The hospital receptionist caught sight of the man and mare entering the building and addressed them as they approached. “Hello, how can I help you?”

“We’re here to see our friend, Playa,” Johnny answered. “The one who was injured in a car accident.”

The receptionist looked through the record and found the person they were referring to. “Ah yes, the guy who doesn’t know the meaning of a red light at an intersection,” she snarked.

“That’s him.”

“He’s on the fourth floor in room four fifty-one.”

“Thanks.”

Johnny and Pinkamena entered a nearby elevator and went up to the fourth floor. Pinkamena could only deal with the annoying elevator music for so long before she pulled out her SMG and blasted the speaker the music was coming from.

“I thought that was nice music.” Pinkie commented.

“You and I have very different tastes.”

When the elevator finally reached the fourth floor, the duo casually walked out and toward the room Playa was staying in.

The sounds in Playa’s room were beeps from the medical equipment and the man’s loud sighs of boredom.

“Either find someone who can make the time to teach you how to drive or hire a driver,” Pinkamena commented. “On second thought, just hire a driver. I don’t want the Saints going bankrupt trying to teach you how to drive.”

Playa raised a middle finger at the pony as his sighs of boredom continued. He started speaking a moment later, “So how are things going with the Ronin?”

“Pretty good, we just took out their enforcer so now we just need to find out where the Akujis are staying so we can drop wherever they’re staying on top of them.”

“So Pierce and Shaundi aren’t much help in that regard?” Pinkamena shook her head in response. Playa thought for a moment. “Well, there’re only five hoods left under Ronin control.”

“They could also be somewhere in our territory so I doubt we can just search their areas and find the Akujis.”

Suddenly all of the lights went off and all of the medical equipment deactivated. The trio looked around in confusion for a moment before realization kicked in. “Time to leave,” Playa said.

Pinkamena drew her knife and made her usual evil smile.”Johnny, make sure Playa gets out of this place in one piece.”

“No fair, leaving me to do all the boring work while you get to have fun,” Johnny complained.

Pinkamena shrugged helplessly, “What can I say? I’m good at playing the antagonist of a horror movie where the protagonists die in the end.”

The Ronin who were still alive in the hospital huddled in a dark room where they hoped they would survive the fiasco they started. They had to wonder where it all went wrong.

While it started like a simple hunt for the Saints leader while he was recovering from some injury, it quickly turned into a nightmare as a pony stalked the Ronin from the darkness of the corridors that they themselves had darkened.

Each scream they heard was a sign that one of their own had disappeared from the group and there was no telling who was next. Creepy giggling could be heard all around them. Between the screams and the giggles, the Ronin were on edge and ready to fire at anything that moved.

The gang members moved as one while keeping an eye out in all directions for the one who had been abducting their comrades.

Despite their caution, some members of the group would slip up sometimes and give the mysterious intruder an opportunity to abduct another of their number.

Any reinforcements that arrived from the elevator only added to the scenery that was slowly turning into a scene of a bloodstained hospital in a horror movie as the bloodied bodies of their comrades were found in different rooms with their blood smeared all over the walls. The reinforcements only arrived as corpses whose blood smeared most of the elevator’s interior.

The stairways were the same as the elevator where the bodies appeared to have taken a tumble down the steps and smeared blood on the steps and railings.

With no reinforcements and their numbers dwindling from the monster with them, the group hid in the nearest room and tried to find hiding spots, hoping that the intruder would leave them alone if the Saints leader got away.

Their hopes were dashed as more screams and giggles were heard more often than before. It wasn’t long before the sounds were silenced and a lone Ronin called out to any of his comrades in a soft whisper. He turned around to call out to any others in a different part of the room before he saw a huge upside down smiling face fill his vision. He was about to scream but that was made impossible when a sharp pain was felt in his larynx. His scream attempt was made into a gagging sound as a sharp object buried itself deeper into his throat. He panicked as his blood rushed from the wound in his throat but any move he made only made her bury the object deeper into his throat.

“Shh, no screaming in the hospital…” the monster whispered.

The Ronin’s eyes rolled to the back of their sockets as the sweet embrace of death finally set him free from the horror before him.

By the time Pinkamena had reunited with Johnny and Playa at the helipad, Johnny had already shot down an attack helicopter with Playa’s RPG. He noticed the mare covered in blood before groaning in disappointment, “At least you got to have the time of your life.” Pinkamena smiled cheerfully at that.

The trio boarded the helicopter and returned safely to the hideout.

The next day Playa was up and about and ready to get something done after spending several days in the hospital after his traffic accident.

When Pinkamena found Playa fully recovered the first thing she did was request for him to help his old acquaintance, Helmers, who was pimping at an intersection in Brighton. Playa was a little surprised to discover the man had stopped conducting his operations from his old trailer but shrugged before asking Pinkamena the reason why she wouldn’t help. After the mare had explained her dislike of the man Playa decided that it would be a good idea if he handled it.

It only took Playa a few hours to finish helping Helmers gather up his prostitutes...again. Playa, Johnny and Pinkamena spent another two hours lounging around the hideout and watching the television before an uninvited guest made his way into the hideout.

“This is a helluva place you got here...I mean, it’s a good thing I had my tetanus shot, but beyond that it’s, uh...cozy,” the intruder said.

The intruder had slicked back blonde hair and wore a dark grey business suit with vertical stripes.

“Do I know you?” Playa asked.

“Name’s Dane Vogel, he works for Ultor,” Johnny answered. “I remember he swung by the church and offered Dex a job a while back.”

“So that’s strike one toward my list of people I wanna kill,” Pinkamena said. “Hiring the guy who laid a trap for me and Playa at the church is not a good way to start in my view.”

Vogel knew about the mare’s reputation. He was a smart man, smart enough to know that aggravating Pinkamena would only end with him as a mutilated corpse in a dumpster somewhere. Defending Dex’s decision would have definitely led to that so he changed the subject to more important matters.

“Who’s Dex?” Pierce asked as he walked in.

“Nevermind that. I have information you need about the Ronin.” Vogel said.

“And how do we know you’re not just yankin’ our chain?” Johnny demanded.

“The Akujis reside at the Tohoku Towers hotel in Filmore. I’ll wait for you here...if you don’t make it back, one of your boys can take me out.”

“Why are you giving us the info so freely?” Pinkamena asked.

“Let’s just say that Ultor and the Ronin have severed ties.”

“Let me guess, daddy didn’t like the deal his son made so he made unreasonable demands to drive you off and now you want revenge for them humiliating you.”

“‘Revenge’ is such a-”

“Shut it. The reason we’re not taking you out now is because I’d rather not have to face your company while The Brotherhood is still an issue. Just know that once they’re gone, you’re next.”

Vogel watched the mare walk up the stairs out of the hideout with Playa and Johnny while Pierce kept an eye on him. He didn’t need that threat to know that the Saints would gun for him eventually, he knew that it was going to happen. He knew the history of the Saints and how that one pony was key to the defeat of three gangs from five years ago, becoming four recently.

He could only hope that he can prepare for what that pink equine had planned for him.

Playa, Johnny and Pinkamena drove to the hotel but met no resistance until after they entered the building. Upon entry the trio started shooting up everyone in their path, Ronin or otherwise.

During their ascent, Playa started planting high explosives while Johnny and Pinkamena guarded him. Playa planted two bombs for each floor they reached.

While the last bomb was being planted, Pinkamena and Johnny headed into the suite where the Akujis resided and murdered every Ronin in there. Unfortunately, their targets were nowhere to be found but there was evidence that the two of them did sleep there.

Playa shouted that the last bomb had been placed and they needed to make a very fast exit out of the building.

“You unlocked the ‘no fall damage’ ability from base jumping, right?” Pinkamena asked.

“What are you talking-” was all Playa managed to say before the mare tackled him off the edge of the floor and both plummeted into the building’s atrium as the explosions began. Pinkamena made sure to use the Saints leader as a cushion as he landed hard on the bottom floor.

“That still hurts like hell ya know,” Playa complained.

“Quit whining, you’re perfectly fine.” She pretended the hoofprints embedded in his back didn’t exist. “I wouldn’t have done that if you didn’t.”

Johnny landed a few moments later as he was the only one who remembered his parachute.

“Let’s get outta here and tell everyone the good news,” Johnny said.

The return trip to the hideout was uneventful. Once they returned, Vogel bid his farewell and left.

As the Saints offensive continued, two more neighborhoods were taken from the Ronin, Union Square and Brighton. This left the Ronin with three places still under their influence.

That soon changed when Shogo led a reckless assault on the Saints hideout. He shouted something from the entrance about the Saints humiliating his family and he was seeking revenge for it.

Needless to say, the attack was ill-fated as a single pink pony slashed through every lieutenant that he brought along with him.

Shogo decided to flee on his bike and try again another time but Pinkamena was not having that. Boarding a motorcycle that one of the dead Ronin Lieutenants let her keep, she chased Shogo around the city, evading cars while one tried to avoid the other but the other would not be shaken off so easily.

The chase ended at the Mourning Woods Cemetery when Pinkamena pulled out her platinum SMG and shot up Shogo’s bike’s front tire and sent him catapulting into a gravestone. The stone shattered on impact and possibly left a few bones cracked in the unfortunate young Ronin.

Shogo groaned as he looked up from the splayed position he was in on the grass. The pony approaching him had a sad smile on her face, he knew a look of pity when he saw one.

“You sad little boy, you have no idea how pitiable you are,” Pinkamena said.

“Shut up! What do you know about me?” Shogo shouted.

Pinkamena shook her head in disappointment. “The fact that you base your life on trying to make your father proud when the truth is that he will never be proud of you. Nothing you will ever do in your life will be good enough. If only you learned that lesson years ago maybe you wouldn’t be in the situation that you’re in now. If only you had simply told your father to go fuck himself and walk out on him then maybe you could have made something of your life.

“But the time for hindsight is over and your choices have led you to a dead end. All you ever did was ride on your father’s coattails, it’s no wonder you’re a disappointment to him. In the end, you’re going to die as a brat who has to rely on daddy to bail you out of your bad situation...but daddy isn’t coming to save you…”

Shogo ground his teeth and got off the ground to charge the mare, sword in his hand and shouting. Pinkamena hit the katana with her knife and sent it flying toward the other side of the cemetery. Shogo pulled out an SMG but Pinkamena countered by headbutting him in the stomach and sent him flying while dropping his SMG.

Shogo landed inside an empty casket and before he could get his bearings, the casket shut, leaving him in the darkness inside his tiny box.

He felt the sensation of falling a short distance before he realized what the mare was about to do. The next sound he heard was what he expected would happen as dirt impacted the casket, showing the mare’s intent on burying him alive. He began shouting nonsense about what she couldn’t do but his cries were ignored as more dirt was piled over the casket.

After a few minutes, the casket was completely buried while Pinkamena patted the dirt. She smiled as she left the cemetery to return to the hideout, knowing that a slow and agonizing death by asphyxiation awaited the young life cut short by his own decisions.

On the off chance that one of the Ronin would come and dig him up, Pinkamena called some Saints over to secure the cemetery just in case.

...And the Father

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Pinkamena returned to the Saints hideout to report the death of Shogo Akuji who was literally six feet under. If he wasn’t dead yet, the lack of air supply would ensure he would be soon.

All that remained of the Ronin leadership was the Oyabun of the Yakuza, Kazuo Akuji.

However, finding him was going to be difficult, like The General. Unfortunately the same trick with hacking into the security cameras was not going to work twice as the police got wise to the Saints after the first time.

All they could do was wait until Akuji made his move.

In the meantime, there were a number of contacts that needed attending to.

Some producer wanted to film someone on an ATV while wearing what they called a “flame suit” in order to set stuff on fire as they drove around. While Pinkie might have been into the driving part, she was squeamish about the “setting people on fire” part. Since Playa was a big fan of the producer, he volunteered for that task. Pinkamena was concerned that she might have to step in to finish the job though given Playa’s driving record.

The remaining tasks were at the Stilwater Boardwalk at the marina. Another bodyguard request was made which Gilda would handle easily. Manuel’s ex had been downgraded to a drug mule and was being made to sell drugs on the street and she needed some protection while she made deals. While Pinkie could easily handle that, Treehugger needed the experience so the stoner mare was assigned that task. Finally, another assassination contract was available. This one was from Legal Lee who wanted some key witnesses to a couple of his court cases eliminated.

Once the tasks were assigned, the group left the hideout to carry out their respective tasks. Once Pinkamena arrived at the agreed meeting place with Legal Lee, he sent her the data on her next assassination targets.

The first of her set of six targets did not go as expected. As Jeremiah, who was a biker, noticed Pinkamena chasing him on a motorcycle with a katana pointed at him like a lance, he tried driving away as fast as he could. The strange part was that when he got to an intersection, a burning man riding an ATV crashed into him and drove away as if nothing happened while Jeremiah burst into flames while his motorcycle exploded.

Pinkamena frowned as she glared at the trail blazer and screamed “Kill thief!” at him.

The mare’s next target was rumored to be gambling at the Poseidon’s Palace. With or without the Ronin presence, the casino was still wary of her entry and fearful that she was going to rob them again. Rather than rob them however, she simply pulled out two SMGs and started shooting up the place and killing everyone that moved until she could confirm her target’s death.

After her initial spree, Pinkamena inspected the bodies to find her target and was able to find Nate on the ground and dead. She checked the man’s name off the list and thanked the survivors for their cooperation in her hunt before leaving the building. The survivors would later check themselves into a mental hospital for trauma therapy.

Since the ambulance driver target was done before, she simply dialed 911 and blew up the ambulance that showed up with her RPG. Thankfully for the local hospitals, she only needed to do that once.

The setup for her next target was a bit complex but when her target frequents a greek themed store, he better be prepared to deal with a movie reference.

Pinkamena approached Chris while wearing replica Spartan armor and holding a Spartan shield while pointing a very real spear at him. The man backed away as the mare continued to close in on him.

“Wh-what the f-fuck do you want with me?” Chris asked.

“Someone I know wants you dead,” she responded.

“W-wait a minute. You don’t have to do this. M-maybe if I skip town...”

“Nope. You’re gonna die here.”

“Now come on, this is madness…”

“Madness?” The mare’s grin turned maniacal as she heard the one word she was waiting to hear from his mouth.

“THIS!” Pinkamena yelled as she charged toward him.

“IS!” She turned around and tensed her hind legs.

“BUY JOVE!” The buck that followed sent Chris flying into a bundle of spears with the pointed ends pointed at him. Chris ended up impaled in multiple places and bled to death in the greek themed store.

It pained Pinkamena to have to spend some of her money on a boat that she had no plans on using in the foreseeable future but it had to be done to lure her next target out.

Just like the description said, Randy showed up to see what Pinkamena bought. An idea formed in the mare’s head about a use she could find for the watercraft. She picked the jet ski out of the water and lifted it with her earth pony strength. This terrified Randy into turning around and running away but it was too late as she hurled the jet ski at him and nailed him in the back, pinning the aquacraft on him. She then proceeded to shoot up the watercraft with her SMGs until it blew up and torched the boat enthusiast with it.

Last on her list was some guy named Nick who was staying at the Heron Hotel at the Boardwalk. It was easy to enter the hotel and keep her knife in her mouth to make the guests give the mare a wide berth as she made her way to the elevator that led to the building’s top floor. After that it was only a matter of slaughtering every guest on the top floor until she found and killed Nick.

When Pinkamena returned to the hideout, Treehugger and Gilda regaled her about their experiences with their assigned activities.

Gilda really took advantage of the scenery where she threw some crazed porn fans into the maw of a fire breathing dragon statue and roasted the guy. She threw others into an active jet engine. Most amusing of them were the crazed fans who got thrown into a group of lumberjacks with chainsaws. That would have been something Pinkamena would have wanted recorded but alas, she would have to settle for the verbal story.

However, the griffon did bring back a can of pepper spray and a chainsaw as souvenirs.

After the first couple of attempts to sell drugs on the street, Treehugger realized that Luz was terrible at selling since they ended up taking the product and running. After two failed attempts. Treehugger offered to sell the drugs instead while Luz simply drove around. The latino woman was fine with this arrangement.

While some junkies did try to take the drugs and run, Treehugger was not going to play nice. Her experiences with the Sons of Samedi had shown her that being nice in the city was going to get her fucked up in the end. With that she shot the junkie in the back before taking back the drugs and all of his money.

This trend continued for a while until Luz ran out of stock. For her efforts, Treehugger was given a coupon that made the Ronin back off from their aggression faster, which wasn’t very useful at this stage in the campaign against the gang since all they needed to do was finish off Kazuo Akuji.

Playa returned with some magical coupon that was supposed to give some protection whenever an explosion went off in his face.

With no other leads on where Kazuo was the Saints decided to mess around in the hideout until something happened.

But something did happen while Playa and Johnny were shooting cans when Pierce joined them and brought Wong and his translator with him. The translator walked around worse than Wong did since he was shot in both legs five years ago.

“Hey Wong,” Pinkamena greeted.

Wong spoke in Mandarin while the translator did his job, “Ah, there’s my favorite assassin. I see that your skills have not dulled when last we met.”

“You gotta love what you do.”

“I came here today to give thanks to the mare who killed Kazuo Akuji’s son.”

“You know Akuji?” Playa asked.

“Akuji and I have a long history. I have also had several unpleasant dealings with his son.”

“What did Shogo do?” Pierce asked.

“When he was younger he killed Mr. Wong’s dog.”

“You’re fuckin’ kiddin’ me,” Johnny commented about the underwhelming story behind Wong’s rivalry with Akuji.

“I do not joke about Sadie,” Wong snapped in English.

Before the conversation continued, the sound of motorcycles could be heard from within the hideout.

Pinkamena gave Pierce a deadpan stare, “Pierce, remind me to give you some lessons on how not to be followed,” she said while putting a lot of emphasis on ‘not’.

While one of the Saints was late to the party and gave some old news, Pinkamena began scouring the hideout for Ronin.

During her hunt, Pinkamena gave Gilda a call to deal with the Ronin from the air outside the hideout and if she found a Ronin in a grey suit, she was to capture him immediately.

The chaos within the hideout was only to conceal the true intent of the Ronin which was to demolish the support pillars holding up the hotel. Once they found out, Playa, Pinkamena, Johnny and Pierce made sure to cover the areas where the pillars were and make sure nobody could attack them.

Once the first two pillars were secured, the four went deeper into the hideout to protect the other four pillars from the vicious assault from the Ronin. While they came in great numbers, that didn’t matter as Pinkamena sliced and diced her way through the rank and file.

It wasn’t long before the numbers thinned out and the Saints could see Kazuo Akuji fighting with pistol and katana but he could see that he was on the losing end of this battle and soon it was just him and the Ronin on a motorcycle next to him against the Saints and their demonic mare who was smiling like a psychopath out of an anime.

Kazuo quickly boarded the motorcycle and the two drove off to escape and fight another day. “All according to plan…” Pinkamena thought as she pulled out her phone.

Kazuo could not be more frustrated if he tried. While the loss of his son was more of a blessing than an inconvenience, the Saints have proven more formidable than anticipated. If he wanted to eliminate the enemy he would need to deal with them while they were divided. Only then could he salvage something from the fiasco his son called a gang.

A few moments after he and his driver had exited the back entrance to the Saints hideout was all it took for his future plans to be laid to ruin as he soon found himself being lifted into the air after being caught off guard and dropping his pistol. He kept hold of his katana though but even if he did resist, the drop would have been fatal.

The creature that grabbed him was nothing like he witnessed before. The front end had white feathers while purple coloring was seen around her eyes and at the tip of her crest. The rear end of the creature resembled a feline with golden fur. His arms were held by the creature’s talons as he was being carried to who knows where.

It was at least ten minutes before the creature lowered her altitude and descended toward the city cemetery. When they arrived the creature dropped him unceremoniously on the ground before it flew back a short distance beside the familiar figures that he had just escaped from.

The evil pony who murdered his son stepped forward with her knife in her hoof. “Hello Kazy, if you don’t recognize this place, this is where the Akuji family was, is, and will be buried.”

Kazuo looked back to see a casket that looked like it had been dug up recently but he didn’t need a closer look to know who was in it. The thought of the shameless Saints showing the face of his dead embarrassment of a son had enraged him to the point where he began attacking the pony with his katana.

He wasn’t counting on the impossible speeds that the mare could move as she giggled while slashing him from all directions, leaving cuts ranging from shallow to deep depending on where he focused his guard. However, the mare kept attacking him from directions he was not prepared to counter while the cuts were starting to bleed out and stain his suit.

With the amount of damage he took in a short time Kazuo’s stance started to falter as his body stung from the cuts all over his body and in a yell of desperation, fury and pain, he began slashing wildly trying to hit the pony.

As Kazuo’s berserk slashing continued, Pinkamena watched with the other Saints and Wong as she laughed at how silly the Oyabun looked while slashing at nothing.

Exhaustion eventually settled in as Kazuo’s fruitless attacks took their toll on him. When he finally stopped, Pinkamena charged forward and slammed him toward and into Shogo’s casket, forcing him to drop his sword.

After Pinkamena shut the casket, she pulled out a molotov cocktail and lit it before announcing her final move against the Yakuza boss, “You lose Kazy, but don’t feel bad. You get to go to Tartarus with your very own night light.”

“You dare bury me with my shame?” Kazuo yelled. “Does your cruelty have no limit?”

“I’ll let you know when I find that out.”

The madmare briefly opened the casket and tossed the molotov inside before she shut it again and made the casket descend into the ground again. The casket rocked as Kazuo tried to escape but Pinkamena was not having that as she grabbed Kazuo’s katana and ran the blade through the casket at a point that caused a high-pitched sound to ring from the box.

As dirt began filling the plot again, the casket burst into flames as the inside of the box was made of flammable materials. Wong looked in the plot with a satisfied look on his face as one of his biggest problems was screaming in agony as Kazuo lay in the casket and slowly dying.

As the last of the dirt topped the plot, Wong looked at Pinkamena with the biggest smile he had made in many years. His translator spoke his Mandarin words, “You have made this old man very happy. If I had an unwed son, I would marry him to you.”

Pinkamena was caught off guard by Wong’s statement but made sure to show respect for the elderly man with a bow.

With that, Wong left with his translator to find other things to do in Stilwater.

With the Ronin finished, The Saints claimed Adept Way and Stilwater Boardwalk as a show that the Ronin were finished in Stilwater.

All that remained between the Saints and Ultor were the overcompensating Brotherhood and their leader, Maero.

A Corporate Diversion

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With the Ronin dismantled and the Japanese Yakuza in need of a new Oyabun, the Saints were now in control of nearly two thirds of the city. Only the areas owned by the Brotherhood or Ultor remained.

The Saints have made great progress in retaking the city that was taken from them because Julius put Playa into a coma.

Since Maero wasn’t making a move yet, Playa decided to let the Saints take the time to relax and prepare for the war against the Brotherhood.

While Pinkamena would be avoiding conflict with the gang for the time being, she wasn’t able to sit still and relax. She was bored and wanted to find something to do.

Looking at her phone, Pinkamena decided to deal with another assassination contract and chose to deal with the one at the Ultor controlled Harrowgate neighborhood in the Saint’s Row district.

Once she arrived at the appointed location, she received a call from an unknown number that stated that he sent the dossiers of some individuals that needed to “disappear.”

Once her phone had downloaded the files of her targets, she immediately facehooved when she saw the descriptions of her targets. Each one was weird in their own way.

Her first target, Apoop, a name that made the mare pity the individual for having parents who would name him that, frequented the nightclub where she and Treehugger ended the life of the DJ Veteran Child. After returning to the club, she took the time to dance to the rhythm of the music. Apoop showed up on the dance floor a few minutes after Pinkamena started getting into the music. Once she noticed her target however, her dancing style changed as she danced while advancing on her target. Once she got close, her dancing took on a more aggressive style as her movements caused her to leave heavy impacts on Apoop’s body to where he got sent flying into a wall before the mare gave chase and, keeping in tune with the music, smashed his face against the wall with her rear hooves and shattered his skull, leaving a huge stain on the wall and yet another corpse for the club to deal with.

Pinkamena was in luck with her second target, Larry, who was Helmers’ brother and was just as trashy as the pimp, was meeting with his brother who was warning him that someone wanted him dead. Larry thanked him for his concern but he wasn’t worried about any assassin. With his message delivered, Helmers walked away from his brother’s trailer while Larry walked inside.

During the brief verbal exchange, a number of Satchel charges were planted on the back of the trailer. A push of a button was all it took to blow up the trailer and Larry with it.

Helmers never figured out who killed his brother.

Her next target, Seabaugh, was an eccentric who liked dressing as a pirate. Since he frequented a pirate ship themed restaurant, she decided to try out the food there. The seafood was decent but the atmosphere left much to be desired.

Seabaugh walked into the restaurant to have his fill of seafood but didn’t expect to see a pony in a pirate outfit and pointing a flintlock pistol at him. He barely got a word out before he was blasted in the face with the authentic pistol and then impaled by an antique cutlass.

Mr. Flegel was a tattoo enthusiast and was currently criticizing a customer at a Rusty’s Needle parlor in Bavogian Plaza for his choice in tattoos. After the customer left, Flegel was alone but had no idea that he actually wasn’t. His mind was thrown into total confusion when he suddenly found himself strapped into the parlor’s chair where the tattoo artist did their work. The last thing the tattoo enthusiast saw before the remainder of his life was of pure agony was a pink pony with a wide evil smile and holding a tattoo pen.

Flegel’s screams were heard several buildings over as he received his last and most painful tattoo job.

He was found dead the next day with his torso cut open and many of his internal organs were tattooed as well as his eyeballs.

Pinkamena paid another visit to the Stilwater Caverns to set up a trap for her next target. When Russell arrived in the caverns, he tripped a switch he knew wasn’t there the day before. Before he knew it he was the victim of the old boulder chase scenario. However, Russell was no Dr. Jones and the boulder moved faster than he did. In the end Russell ended up as a blood stain on the cavern floor.

Pinkamena had no idea how her last target got on the police force given his habits but had to remind herself that the city was fucked up like Troy said five years ago. Instead of causing trouble and inciting police aggression, the madmare called Troy’s number and requested for her target, Lieutenant Freeball, to head to a designated location. Pinkamena was actually surprised that Troy was more than happy to send the exhibitionist to his doom since he was a total embarrassment to the force and was looking for an excuse to get rid of him. However, Troy only agreed to the matter in exchange for her taking out Freeball’s partner, Anoop as well which she was completely fine with.

Lt. Freeball and Anoop arrived at the scene he was supposed to investigate and, as usual, neither were running around with pants or underwear.

After a few minutes of looking around, Freeball headed back to his car before a knife cut into his sack and one swift motion from the knife ended with him castrated. A girl’s scream could be heard for several blocks before it was silenced when the officer was choked from behind by the same pair of pants he refused to wear held by the infamous pink pony.

Anoop saw the mare choking his partner and tried to shoot the mare but only succeeded in killing Freeball as she put his head in the way of the bullet as she ducked below Freeball’s head level to avoid the possibility of the bullet going through his skull.

Pinkamena pulled out her SMG and filled Anoop’s groin with bullets before hurling Freeball’s corpse at Anoop and placing the two in an awkward position on the ground. She finished the job by shooting Anoop in the head with her pistol and left them in a position that appealed to those interested in the niche of macabre yaoi.

Shortly after finishing the last of her latest kill list, Pinkamena received a call from Playa who informed her that he received a call from some woman who wanted to do something about Ultor. The madmare knew that it was too soon to do anything really effective against the corporation, but figured it might be amusing to humor the woman so she returned to the hideout to see what she wanted.

Pinkamena observed the meeting between Playa and their new guest, Tera Patrick. From what she said, it seemed like she intended to bring Ultor’s crimes to light by bringing evidence to the media. However, Pinkamena had a feeling that Tera’s plan wouldn’t work.

“Why not?” Pinkie asked. “All we have to do is dig up the icky bodies…” she shuddered, “...and give them to the news people.”

“Because you are forgetting where we are. In addition to my earlier comments about Stilwater, the city of debauchery and vice, it’s also an extremely corrupt city. If you thought police chief Monroe was the only bad cop on the force, you’re wrong. Troy is corrupt too but we don’t go after him because him being there benefits us.

“In the case of Tera’s bid against Ultor, even if we did give the bodies to the media, what guarantees that the media will even do something with the evidence? Tera’s mistake is that she’s playing by Ultor’s rules. If we want to beat Ultor, we either gain more influence over city politics than them...very unlikely...or we forcibly put more employees that we can work with into positions of power in the corporation by taking out the ones who want to take us out; like what happened with Troy.

“The most likely scenario is that Ultor is going to pay the media off to make sure their dirty secrets don’t get exposed.”

“Shouldn’t we tell Tera this?” Pinkie asked.

“Nah, I still wanna see her try. Besides, we have the rest of the day to do stuff before we go after The Brotherhood and I wanna spend it doing something besides lounging around watching boring crap on TV.”

“It still seems mean to let her do this when we know it’ll be for nothing.”

“I’ll help you distribute baked goods to everyone in the Saint’s.”

“Deal!”

Playa drove to each location designated by Tera. On the way, Tera admitted that she worked for Ultor at their secret Pyramid as a microbiologist.

“A what?” Playa asked, clueless about what a microbiologist was.

“Read a book,” Tera said, unable to hide her exasperation.

Pinkamena giggled and Playa glared at her, “What did she mean by that?”

“She basically told you that you’re really stupid. A microbiologist is a type of scientist that studies living things that are too small to see normally.”

“What? Like germs?”

“Something like that and many other things.”

After the duo slaughtered the group of Masako who were hanging around the first burial site, Playa pulled the truck next to the spot where the bodies were buried. While Pinkie could have dug up the bodies, she was squeamish about touching dead bodies. That was something she let Pinkamena handle. Since Pinkie wouldn’t cooperate, Playa had to grab a shovel and dig up the bodies himself.

What Playa saw of the bodies left him a bit horrified as he saw the mangled state the bodies were in. They looked like something had eaten them up from the inside out and he was sure they weren’t buried there long enough for whatever fed on corpses to have a go at them.

Playa called Tera to demand some answers about what happened to the bodies. Tera admitted that Ultor was experimenting with nanoscopic machines to increase a miner’s lung capacity but devoured the volunteers from the inside out instead.

Playa and Pinkamena dug up more bodies that were in the same state while the Masako sent more troops to guard the bodies. One group tried to escape with one of the bodies in an Armored Personnel Carrier but Pinkamena caused them to crash when she smothered the windows in pastries. The Masako left the vehicle and were quickly dismembered by the madmare before Playa collected the experimental corpse.

After some more resistance from the Masako, the duo found the last body and delivered them to the news station after Pinkie took over and evaded pursuit from the police and Masako.

Tera held onto hope that Jane Valderamma would broadcast the story about the corpses but Pinkamena highly doubted that would happen.

“I told you,” Playa said.

Tera was in disbelief about what happened. The corpses that Playa and Pinkamena dropped at the news station’s doorstep never made the news. “This doesn’t make any sense. You handed them a huge story.”

“Ultor handed them money.”

“Couldn’t you force Valderamma to do something?”

“I’ll see what I can do but we’re gonna need some proof beyond a couple of bodies. You came to me with this whole thing, you got any other ideas?”

“If they want proof, our best bet is to get our hands on the chemicals while Ultor is moving them.”

“Alright, let’s go.”

Pinkamena smiled as she saw that her entertainment for the day continued.

Playa, Pinkamena and Tera found the chemical delivery truck before the mare forced her way into the cab and shot up the driver with her SMG. Once the vehicle came to a halt and the escorts were blown up, Tera took the wheel and drove toward the airport while Playa and Pinkamena defended the rear of the vehicle.

Pinkamena’s party cannon took care of the ground pursuit and Playa used RPGs to shoot down attack helicopters.

As the situation progressed, Ultor started sending what Tera called the Scout Prototype, an ATV that was designed to scout for prime mining locations. Playa felt that a mining vehicle with a turret was overkill while Pinkamena developed a strong desire to hijack one.

Once they were near the airport, Pinkamena used her grappling gun to pull herself to one of the pursuing Scouts and started smashing through the armored glass with her hoof which scared the passengers out of the vehicle.

Shortly after Pinkamena hijacked the prototype, she and Playa drove back to the news station to talk with Valderamma.

The news anchor didn’t care about what proof they had about Ultor’s corruption but demanded an interview with the whistleblower instead.

After Playa left to convince Tera to go along with Valderamma’s demands, Pinkamena stood near the news anchor who was curious about why she was still there.

Pinkamena smirked at the woman, “I know you have no intention of incriminating Ultor. You plan to humiliate her on live TV.”

“If you know that much then why let her go along with this?” Valderamma asked.

“I’m bored and it’s a good way to liven up the day.”

Valderamma chucked, “You are quite the evil pony.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Back at the hideout Playa was relaying the news to Tera about the upcoming interview with Jane Valderamma. Tera was visibly trembling because of her anxiety about being in front of a camera.

Seeing Tera like that and knowing what was coming was making Pinkamena feel sympathy toward the disgruntled ex-Ultor worker. Playa tried offering advice such as imagining people in their underwear but that only made things worse as Tera apparently had an issue with nudity.

Pinkamena did some research on Tera to see what else there was about her and found that was a famous porn star, which would explain her thing with nudity. From what she found, Tera wanted to do more in life than star in pornographic roles and got a degree in microbiology and went to work for Ultor.

After seeing the former porn star in such an anxious state, Pinkamena couldn’t take seeing her like that anymore and gave her own advice to Tera.

“What is it?” Tera asked.

Pinkamena shook her head, “Look, Valderamma intends to make your Ultor issue more about you and ultimately humiliate you on public television.”

“What?! Then…”

“So, listen to my advice and you can at least get through this without getting humiliated. You’re going to put those acting skills you gained from your roles in pornographic movies to good use…”

A hard fought battle against an entire battalion of Masako troops was fought atop Mount Claflin, a battle which cost Ultor millions, possibly billions, with the destruction of countless APCs and attack helicopters. The armored ground vehicles could not withstand the many rockets hurled at them by the Saints nor the incredible firepower of Pinkamena’s party cannon.

The skies were kept clear of Masako attack helicopters thanks to the vigilance and agility of Gilda. Treehugger picked off any troops that left the safety of their APCs.

Despite Valderamma’s lateness to the interview that she demanded, it didn’t cause too much of an inconvenience to Tera or the Saints. Once the Masako were wiped out in the area, the news anchor began her interview. Tera prepared herself and held on to Pinkamena’s advice as Valderamma began and the cameras rolled.

“This is Jane Valderamma, reporting live with Tera: a woman who claims our city is in danger.”

“That’s right, Jane. The Ultor Corporation has been using a secret R&D lab to conduct unethical experiments on the citizens of Stilwater.”

“Those are some strong allegations; I’m assuming you have proof.”

“Oh, absolutely. I mean, I have the bodies of people who were experimented on, as well as some of the chemicals that were used to do it.”

“And why do you think Ultor is responsible?”

“I conducted the experiments myself.”

“So these were the acts of a crazed individual?”

Tera knew what was coming, thanks to Pinkamena. All that remained was to spin it in her favor. “Yes, I am that crazed individual who Ultor hired to conduct these twisted experiments. They hired me knowing full well that I was crazy enough to do them and not care about the ethical ramifications.”

Valderamma was briefly caught off guard by Tera’s bold comment, but she pressed on wondering where she was going to go with this. “That is quite the bold statement to make, Tera. Do you have proof about Ultor’s intentions when they hired you?”

“How could I? The contract was pretty standard since every other scientist under Ultor’s employ had theirs written the same way.”

“I see, so why did you quit your job at Ultor to turn against them?”

“They didn’t pay me enough. If they wanted me to conduct more of my mad science I would have needed a lot more funding, which they refused. So I decided that if they weren’t going to pay me for what I’m worth, I’m going to dedicate my efforts to tear them down. And I intend to do so alongside the Third Street Saints.”

“There you have it, a beautiful yet mad woman, who places significant value in her own depraved research, declares war against a corporation and at the same time declares her allegiance to the infamous Third Street Saints. Who will win in this war for the fate of our fair city? Only time will tell. I’m Jane Valderamma, Channel 6 news.”

Once the cameras switched off, Valderamma maintained her attention on Tera and smiled. “That was some impressive improvisation. The footage will need some editing but I can spin this in a way that, while it won’t incriminate Ultor, will become the Saint’s declaration of war against them. I’ve seen the Saints pull off some impressive feats over the years and if anyone has any chance of defeating Ultor, it’s them.”

Tera released the breath she didn’t know she was holding. She could hardly believe that she made herself out to be the madwoman Valderamma had tried to make her into. However, there was no going back now. She had just openly declared herself as a member of the Saints and that was going to be how the city would see her now. As long as the Saints punished Ultor for their crimes, she was fine with the fate that she thrust upon herself.

Bad First Impression

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After the interview with Jane Valderamma on the subject of exposing the corruption of Ultor Corporation, Tera huddled in a corner at the hideout while she came to terms with the fact that she played the part of a typical mad scientist supervillain on public television and now that’s how the people of Stilwater were going to see her for a long time. However, part of her found that preferable to simply being humiliated on public television since the Stilwater media favored Ultor.

While Tera was having her freak out, Playa decided to spend some time tracking down the tags of the former gangs in the city by painting over them while scavenging the nooks and crannies of the city for music CDs that people carelessly tossed away. He also decided to go into the investing business and buy ownership interest in many small businesses throughout Stilwater. He also bought some new cribs for his Saints to hang out at and pimped out the cribs to maximize their entertainment.

While Playa was pursuing his hobbies, Pinkamena decided to get some more of the requests complete. From her count on her phone’s map, there were only nine more left. Two of three she would do today would be handled by herself and Pinkie while she would have to find someone willing to ride around on a blazing ATV.

“I’ll give it a try,” Treehugger said.

Pinkamena looked at the other pony and raised an eyebrow. “Do you even know how to drive an ATV?”

Treehugger shook her head, “No, but I still wanna try.”

Pinkamena shrugged before she called Shaundi to the lobby. “Think you can find an ATV and teach her how to drive one?”

“You think she can without hands to grip the handle?” Shaundi asked.

“I can drive and a lot better than Playa can, so being capable of handling an ATV shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Well if you say so.”

With that, Shaundi left with Treehugger to find an ATV to teach her how to drive one. Meanwhile, Pinkamena had some lists to download.

Pinkamena couldn’t help but facehoof when the last hit list came from Pierce who made some bets against the university’s chess team and now he owes money to a bunch of people. She was tempted to just clear the list and take over as Pierce’s creditor and for how much she cares about the guy, she just might.

The other list was a request for cars from, strangely enough, a representative of Ultor. Pinkamena knew that the corporation would not act with a common mentality like a gang would and would prioritize the company over any grudges against a street gang. When the time came, the Saints would root out the executives who had a problem with them.

After a brief discussion with her sister, Pinkamena would hunt her targets first but if any of the target vehicles happened to be nearby she would pursue them.

Unfortunately for Pinkamena, some of her targets would require some assistance from Playa as she was not about to drink while conducting her assassinations, nor was she interested in spray painting nor was she interested in having sex with a human. However, she did notice that one of her targets was one she killed before so he was marked off her list.

Thankfully, Playa was nearby painting over another tag and as luck would have it, Brad showed up to admire Playa’s work. Pinkamena took the opportunity to steal one of Brad’s spray paint cans and pulled out a lit molotov. While Brad wasn’t looking, Pinkamena sprayed the paint through the flames and set Brad on fire as the paint burst into flames and hit him.

Playa asked Pinkamena why she torched the guy and the mare explained her latest set of assassination targets and requested his aid for some of them. Playa accepted her request and the two proceeded to the abandoned drive-in in Pleasant View. On the way, Playa bought some beer at Pinkamena’s request.

While Playa was wandering the abandoned drive-in while intoxicated, Alvan appeared and tried to make Playa leave since he was causing a disturbance in his drunken state.

Pinkamena pulled out a golden eyeball and a blank Duel Monsters card. She channeled some of her magic through the eyeball and transferred Alvan’s soul into the card. Afterward, she tore the card to shreds and threw the eyeball in the trash somewhere.

While Playa was still drunk Pinkamena drove him to the Misty Lane Technically Legal and had him get some action with a woman in a private room. James showed up, impatient about getting some action himself. He didn’t notice the party mine until it launched him into the ceiling where a conveniently placed spear was hung. The spear went through James’ head, through his body and out the rear end.

Pinkamena left Playa to finish his session while she pursued her remaining two targets.

She timed her calls to a local Freckle Bitch’s and a local taxi service so that Frank and Scott would arrive at about the same time. When they did she shot both in the head at the same time with a pistol in both forehooves.

With the list cleared, Pinkamena began actively hunting for the cars that Ultor wanted. Even if the corporation was her enemy, money was money.

After a series of events involving some hijacking, Pinkamena accidentally blowing up a couple of target cars, some evasion from the police and, for some reason, a race with Treehugger who was wearing a burning suit and driving an ATV which wrecked another of Pinkie’s target cars, Pinkamena returned to the hideout and prepared for bed but not before Treehugger approached her and told her about her newfound interest in fire.

“If you become an arsonist, I’m not letting you into my room,” Pinkamena said.

“Don’t worry, I’m not that interested in fire, but it is bright and pretty and warm. By the way, that nice guy from the college gave me this coupon and said it would make The Brotherhood back off faster after you upset them.”

Pinkamena took the coupon, congratulated Treehugger for completing the task and went into her room where she would sleep and prepare for her first encounter with The Brotherhood.

Playa approached Pinkamena and informed her of their plans for the day, “I just got a call from Carlos sayin’ that Maero wants to have a sit down with us in Stilwater Caverns.”

“Sounds like a waste of time. If he doesn’t come to us to beg us to spare his gang then all he’s doing is wasting all of our time.”

“We should hear him out at least, though I have a feeling that you’re right.”

Playa and Pinkamena headed for the Stilwater Caverns. Pinkamena ordered Gilda to remain out of sight but maintain an aerial reconnaissance in case something happened.

The duo met up with Carlos at the gift shop before they proceeded into the caves.

About halfway through the caverns, the trio came across the Brotherhood leader resting on a bench. When Playa’s flashlight shined on Maero’s face, he woke up and stared at them.

“You Maero?” Playa asked for confirmation.

“That’s right.”

“Where’s your crew then?”

“I don’t need one.”

Playa pointed his pistol at Maero. “I could kill you right now…”

Maero rose from the bench to intimidate Playa with his imposing stature. “No...you couldn’t.”

Pinkamena rolled her eyes, “I’ve dealt with worse than you. All I’ve seen from you is a bunch of bark but I’m still not seeing the fangs.”

Maero pointed his shotgun at Pinkamena, “You want to keep testing my patience?”

Pinkamena’s communicator buzzed, telling her that she was getting a transmission from Gilda. “Yo boss, you might want to wrap it up. There’s a bunch of cops heading your way.”

Pinkamena acknowledged the griffon before turning her attention back to Maero, “How about you put your prosthetic dick to better use. We got some pigs squealing into the caverns and this butcher needs to get to work.”

Pinkamena charged back toward the gift shop and Playa and Carlos followed. Maero grunted and followed after the Saints.

Pinkamena did what she did best: paint the area around her in blood as she slashed up the cops one by one. One of the cops had to wonder why they even bothered going after the Saints while armed with only pistols since the infamous Butcher of Stilwater always seemed able to dodge bullets. That was his last thought before the madmare got to him and decapitated the poor officer.

Any police officer that managed to avoid Pinkamena’s rampage were soon gunned down by Playa and Carlos as they followed the carnage to the exit.

Once outside, Pinkamena held off the police until Playa, Carlos and Maero stole an empty police car. Once everyone was inside, Pinkie took the wheel and drove the group to the Brotherhood hideout at the Stoughton docks.

Once they arrived, Pinkamena took over again since they were still among enemies. Carlos commented that the Brotherhood around them made him think of a “coked-up sideshow.” Maero seemed very confident in his gang’s ability to intimidate people to avoid them.

Pinkamena saw a familiar face in the crowd of tattoo junkies. Some part of her was surprised that the guy hadn’t skipped town by now since the Rollerz were history. She would have to have a chat with Donnie when the time was more appropriate.

Donnie noticed the mare and quickly looked away, doing his best to avoid looking at her.

Once the group entered the hideout, Maero was greeted by who the Saints could only guess was his girlfriend given that she leapt into his arms. The woman introduced herself to the Saints as Jessica while regarding Carlos as if he were some house cleaner based on his hispanic heritage.

Maero distracted Jessica with some cash while he got into a chair and talked to another person in the room, Matt, who was tattooed like the rest of the gang and sporting a blonde mullet. Some conversation in the room informed the mare that he was not only a tattoo artist but also a lead guitarist to some lousy band called the “Feed Dogs.”

Carlos commented that Maero looked like he had enough tattoos on his body while Maero retorted that he had plenty of canvas left.

“So let’s get down to business,” Maero said. “The Brotherhood is about to come into something big and I think the Saints are gonna want to get in on the ground floor.”

“So what’s the offer?” Playa asked.

“20-80”

“I’m assuming I get the eighty.”

“Yeah, sure you do,” Maero said dripping with sarcasm.

“You really expect me to-”

Pinkamena interrupted Playa, “Here’s our counter offer, 95-5, our way.” She knew there was going to be no agreement so she decided to amuse herself by angering the Brotherhood leader.

Just as she had hoped, she got a rise out of him, “You honestly think you’re in any position to be making that kind of offer to me? Who do you think you are?” Matt managed to calm Maero down before he ended up ruining his newest tattoo.

“Careful Maero, you wouldn’t want to be wearing a long sleeve shirt for the rest of your life for a fit of anger,” Pinkamena taunted.

Maero didn’t take the bait this time and relaxed in the chair. “Your gang is nothing but a bunch of washed up bangers. You have no chance against the Brotherhood.”

“That’s where I beg to differ. Either you’re so arrogant that you don’t give a fuck about what’s been happening throughout Stilwater or you and your gang have stayed out of the loop and failed to realize that the Saints had already taken over nearly two thirds of Stilwater. The Ronin and the Sons of Samedi are history thanks to us. We have taken back the markets that they had taken from us.”

“You think I care about a bunch of crazed drug addicts and a bunch of Yakuza wannabes who are a long way from home?” Maero snapped. “We could have crushed those gangs anytime we wanted. All you did was take care of them for us. Also, what kind of gang leader lets their second run their mouth without their leader’s permission?”

Playa shrugged, “Honestly, I stopped caring after you gave me the 20-80 deal. I just let her handle the retort I woulda given if she weren’t here.”

“So you’re serious about challenging the Brotherhood?”

“Not like you guys are any different than anything we’ve taken so far,” Pinkamena retorted. “All I’ve seen of you guys so far are a bunch of tattoo junkies who yap like dogs and overcompensate for the tiny strings between your legs. So I guess the tattoos are the only reason Jessica still goes out with you.”

Jessica turned around and glared at the madmare while Maero growled, “Get out!”

Playa, Pinkamena and Carlos gladly did so with smirks on their faces.

The trio had satisfied looks on their faces as their diversion had allowed a crew of Saints to take Southern Cross and Cecil Park.

On the way back to the hideout, Shaundi called Playa to inform him that in order to get a complete lock on the markets at the University, he and Pinkamena would need to evict the Brotherhood from the Sommerset Apartments.

The Brotherhood members at the apartments didn’t know what hit them as each of the apartments that were housing a Brotherhood operation were attacked almost simultaneously: one by Playa, one by Pinkamena, and one by Carlos with assistance from Gilda. While this put an end to the prostitution, gambling and drug rings, they didn’t find where they were preparing the drugs.

Gilda spotted a vehicle driving away fast enough to look suspicious and decided to go after it. With the vehicle driving recklessly, Gilda figured it might have to do with the Brotherhood operations in the area so she blew it up with an RPG.

It turned out that her instincts were right as she and Pinkamena inspected the vehicle to find evidence of a mobile drug lab. Pinkamena praised the griffon for her initiative before the Saints returned to the hideout while Playa called in a crew to move in on the apartment district.

Playa and Pinkamena were surprised to find two unexpected guests in the lobby, one who they saw not too long ago and another who they had not seen in five years.

“Sup,” Lin said.

“Lin? Donnie? What are you guys doin’ here?” Playa asked.

“What’s it look like? We're joining your crew.”

Indeed, Lin and Donnie were both wearing purple. Playa was still in disbelief about someone from the old crew returning. “This isn’t some inside job on us like with the Rollerz, right?”

“Nope, to show you we’re being serious, Donnie and I came up with this plan to sabotage some of the Brotherhood cars and rigged them to explode. Since they didn’t suspect an inside job we were able to get away with it while they were left scratching their heads wondering what happened.”

“Pretty sure Maero knows we’re traitors by now though,” Donnie said.

Playa smiled as he approached the mechanic duo and placed each hand on one of their shoulders.

“Welcome to the Saints.”

Trading Blows

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Pinkamena was a little concerned that she had fallen into a routine with regards to the gang wars where she would spend time helping contacts with their various needs then making another push against the target gang. She was thankful that the Brotherhood would be the last gang she would have to deal with given that Ultor wasn’t a gang.

Also, there were only a hoofful of contacts remaining throughout the city. Today she would deal with half of the remainder.

One of the employees at the Stilwater nuclear power plant was in need of someone who could create a very loud distraction for the media to divert attention from the lack of safety protocols at the plant.

“What is nuclear power anyway?” Pinkie asked.

“It’s kinda hard to wrap my head around too since Equestria never utilized that kind of power since nearly everything was fueled by magic. From what I did read on the internet though, it has to do with utilizing steam and some strange metal called uranium through a scientific process that Equestria hasn’t discovered yet.”

“So what makes it so dangerous that the city wants them shut down?”

“Apparently there’s something about the metal that just being around it is hazardous to everyone’s health.”

“Oh...then-”

“Uranium produces a lot of power in small quantities that it was cost effective to use that despite the health risks. Now, no more questions. I’d like to get these activities done before Maero starts his counterattack.”

Continuing from her list of activities to do today, Pinkamena noticed that a massage parlor was in need of workers because some pimps took them all away. After the first few times of killing pimps, Pinkamena lost interest in the matter but figured that Playa would enjoy the task more than she would.

Finally, there was some mother who, based on the task, most likely spoiled their child heavily because her daughter was demanding a bunch of cars for her birthday and the mother came to Pinkamena for help in delivering those cars.

After informing Playa of the task at the massage parlor, he eagerly accepted the task to Pinkamena’s surprise. According to Playa, it was his favorite massage parlor that he had been frequently visiting since middle school and that it was a “Stilwater landmark.”

Pinkamena had no intention of letting anyone else handle the other two tasks as they were ones that only she and Pinkie would and could handle respectively.

Since Pinkamena started her activity first the last time they did them, she let Pinkie handle her task first.

Whoever the girl who wanted the vehicles was, their requests were very strange. While some of them were normal vehicles, the majority of the requests were ones that your average person wouldn’t normally own. Among the requests were a baggage handler that were used to transfer luggage onto a plane, a bulldozer, a backhoe, a delivery truck and a dump truck. However, Pinkie paid no mind to the strangeness of the requests as she focused on the one thing she liked to do: make people happy.

Despite the requests, Pinkamena let the matter go because not only was she getting paid but the matter of the mother and her spoiled daughter was none of her concern. Even Diamond Tiara was not that bad.

After turning in the large vehicles, Pinkamena headed to the power plant with Pinkie flying the helicopter that got them there.

Once she landed, the madmare checked her arsenal and prepared for her next rampage through the city. Starting with the power plant, she started blowing up everything that she hoped wasn’t important as the last thing she wanted to do was cause a reactor to meltdown and get caught up in a massive explosion.

After she had done enough damage to the plant, she returned to the main island and started going on a more chaotic rampage as she blew up everyone and everything in her way as she tore through the Sommerset Apartments and the Barrio District and into the Copperton truck yard.

Once she terrorized the student body of Stilwater University, she tore through the cultural area of Chinatown and finished by causing a huge amount of property damage in the Factories District.

Pinkamena returned to the power plant to inform Homer, the one who put her up to the task, about how much damage she caused, the man in the hazmat suit rewarded her with a couple of items that were on her Hearth’s Warming wish list: a new flamethrower and an RPG launcher that locked onto targets. As a bonus, he also gave the madmare a container of toxic waste as a souvenir. She gave the hazmat person a hug before she left the island and returned to the hideout.

The first thing Pinkamena noticed when she returned was that Playa wasn’t around. She decided to lay on the couch in the lobby until something happened.

Something did happen the moment she got comfortable.

“Fucking…” she nearly yelled as her phone rang. Playa was calling her for something. She grumbled for a moment before answering. “Yeah?”

“Mena, I’m headin’ to the Stilwater Power Plant to pick up some toxic waste and fuck Maero’s canvas up with it. You wanna come with?”

Pinkamena remembered her souvenir but considered making Playa go through the hassle of getting the waste himself but thought better of it. “I already got some toxic waste from the plant. Some employee in a hazmat suit gave it to me as a souvenir.”

“You’re shittin’ me! Meet me at the tattoo parlor in Stoughton where Maero usually goes to get his work done.”

After the call ended, Pinkamena grumbled as she got off the couch, out of the hideout and into her car to drive to the Rusty’s Needle in Stoughton. She hoofed the container of toxic waste to Playa who switched out the inks for the waste. He then hopped into Pinkamena’s car and returned to the hideout, the mare feeling a little too tired to wait for Maero to show up and receive the worst tattoo job of his life. It was nearly six in the morning after all.

Pinkamena emerged from her room after getting enough sleep. The first person she saw was Donnie who looked like he was waiting for her. “Good you’re awake. I wanted to tell you what I learned from Maero.”

“Why didn’t you tell us yesterday?”

“We have plenty of time to prepare for it. Lin and I wanted to get acquainted with the crew.”

“So what do you have?”

“Maero is expecting a big shipment of weapons to come to Stilwater in a few days. He ordered enough of them to take over something. What that was he didn’t say but from how he said it, it seemed like he was going to wipe out the Ronin and the Sons of Samedi with that kinda firepower.”

“Sounds like something that would be better off in our clutches.”

“Since the shipment won’t get here for a few days we can work on dismantling the Brotherhood operations. I heard about some protection rackets going on at Imperial Square. The shopkeepers are paying protection money to the Brotherhood. If we harass the shopkeepers we can make them pay us instead of them.”

“Gilda can handle that. Intimidation is her specialty.”

“One last thing, Maero’s setting up a drug deal at the Poseidon Alley Docks. I don’t know who they’re making a deal with and I’m not sure where the meeting place is at so you’ll have to sneak into one of their convoys and follow them to the meeting spot.”

“Thanks for the info. I’ll handle that one.”

Just before Pinkamena tried to call the griffon to give her new orders, the griffon called her. From her tone, Gilda sounded a bit winded. “Boss...it’s bad...those Brotherhood bastards captured Carlos and dragged him through the street for a good minute before I smashed the truck dragging him. He looks bad but I managed to fly him to a hospital. Playa and I are waiting for word from one of the docs here.”

At that moment a feeling of indignant rage was felt not only by Pinkamena but Pinkie as well.

“Those meanie mean pants Brotherhood! How could they do something so mean to Carlos?”

Gilda continued, “Playa suspects that this was set up by Jessica and he wants the gang looking for her.”

“Understood, in the meantime, I want you to head to Imperial Square and harass the shopkeepers there into paying protection money for the Saints instead of the Brotherhood. Playa can wait for the diagnosis by himself. For now we need to make sure the Brotherhood knows that we’re not taking that shit lying down.”

“Got it boss,” Gilda said with more energy than before.

While Gilda was beating up store owners and tearing apart their security, Pinkamena located a parked Brotherhood Compensator truck. After killing the drivers while they were outside the vehicle taking a smoke break, she boarded the large vehicle and let Pinkie drive once she saw a lone Compensator heading somewhere. Pinkie followed the Brotherhood vehicle to a warehouse at the Poseidon Alley Docks and let Pinkamena take over again to handle the messy details of the mission.

Pinkamena didn’t play around as she gunned down the Brotherhood members outside the warehouse and the bottom floor of the building before she went upstairs and took advantage of the narrow pathways and crates on the second floor by torching it and everyone with a flamethrower. She used the crates as cover then lit them on fire and bucked them into distant Brotherhood.

Pinkamena left the warehouse burning but was still unsatisfied about what happened with Carlos despite the fact that their move had cost them Charlestown.

After Pinkamena called the number to have a wheelman deliver her car, she received a call from Shaundi.

“Hey, I have some news from the boss. First, the doctors say that Carlos will recover but not for several months which means he’s not gonna be of much help to us for a while. Second, I told the boss that Maero’s girlfriend was at the bank in Southern Cross. He wanted me to relay the news to you and said for you to do whatever you want to her but make sure to drive the point home for him about why it was a bad idea to fuck with the Saints...and that he should have offered something better than twenty percent.”

Pinkamena’s trademark evil smile appeared on her face as she soon had an idea about how she was going to deal with the situation.

Once her car arrived, she drove straight to the bank.

Jessica had just finished making the latest deposit into the Brotherhood bank account. She was still feeling proud of herself for teaching the Saints a painful lesson on not messing with the Brotherhood.

Once the transaction was complete she turned around to leave the bank. The moment she turned around, her vision caught sight of the large net flying at her and quickly wrapping her in it. She collapsed on the floor and looked up to catch sight of the pink pony with the look of a true psychopath on her face.

While Jessica was struggling in the net the alarm went off and the bank was sealed. The pink pony pulled out an SMG and murdered every bank guard in the room. She then turned toward the sealed door, took a deep breath and reared back a forehoof before she hit the door hard and sent it flying off its hinges and forward across the parking lot. The impact had also left a larger hole in the doorway.

The madmare dragged the net with Jessica in it to her car. She tossed Jessica into the backseat of the car before she got into the driver’s seat. She turned around and looked at the woman with the same insane look before she slammed a hoof in her face, knocking her out.

Jessica woke up with a headache and groaning from the impact. She moved a hand to her head in reaction...but couldn’t.

She soon realized that her arms and legs were bound to restraints on a wooden table. She struggled to get out of them but they bound her arms and legs tight. She looked around for anything that might be of use to her and as her sight adapted to the dark room she saw what seemed like the makings of a torture chamber. She saw sharp tools and surgical implements on the wall. Another part of the room, strangely enough, had baking equipment including an oven. She had to wonder what the madmare planned to do with her.

“Oh goodie, you’re awake. You’re just in time to help me,” came the voice of her captor.

“Help? Help with what, you psycho?”

Pinkamena moved up to Jessica’s face, her muzzle close to her left ear as she whispered, “You’re gonna help me make a peace offering to Maero.”

Pinkamena got off the table and turned to address the readers. “We all know where this is going so I’m gonna cut away the scene. Those who don’t know and are curious should find the fanfic and read it.”

Pinkamena swiped her hoof.

Maero was growing concerned about where his girlfriend was. His last call with her was just before she entered the bank to make the latest deposit. Matt was doing his best to make the damage he caused by the toxic waste look somewhat presentable.

Maero was about to send some of his people to look for his girlfriend when a knock was heard at the door. One of the members answered the door but found no one there. Instead he found a large tray of cupcakes on the ground and a note attached to it that simply said, “A Peace Offering.” Pinkamena’s smiling face was drawn on it.

Maero wasn’t sure why the Saints were giving cupcakes as a way of making peace with him but thought that after what happened to Carlos they decided to back off. The Brotherhood leader invited a few more of his gang to enjoy the cupcakes with him.

The pastries were delicious and sweet, but for some strange reason there was a sort of meaty aftertaste to them. The gang didn’t mind as they continued devouring pastry after pastry.

Their jovial mood quickly ended when they reached the bottom of the tray and noticed three things on the tray: a picture of Jessica, a familiar necklace that had a ‘J’ on it, and a flash drive.

Maero had a bad feeling about the clues before him and ordered one of his members to put the flash drive into a USB port on a laptop. They soon realized that the flash drive contained a video file and played it.

What they saw horrified everyone in the room and all of them vomited as they saw the footage of the pink pony and the things she did to Jessica. They threw up even more once they discovered the secret ingredient in the cupcakes.

“WHAT KIND OF SICK, TWISTED FUCK IS THIS PONY?!” Maero roared.

One thing was certain, Maero was through playing around with the Saints. He was going to make them pay dearly and send the evil pony to the glue factory where she belonged.

Toxicity

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Pinkamena gave a brief summary of what she did to Jessica while leaving out the involvement of baked goods from her explanation. No need to cause the Saints to look twice at a cupcake. Basically, she told them about how she tortured and killed Jessica and fed her to Maero and whoever was around him before they realized what they were doing. Playa did ask how she pulled that off but she quickly changed the subject, assuring him that he did not need to know.

Playa was satisfied at least that an impactful message was sent to the wolf themed gang.

Pinkamena knew that Maero would come after her now that’s how she wanted him to behave.

For now, the madmare figured that Gilda could use a small upgrade. For that she turned to the services of Tera Patrick. Her research into nanites might be of use in the upcoming finale against the Brotherhood. Tera had an idea on how to make use of the remaining nanites she had but she would need some special fabric and other materials. Tera wrote the list of what she needed and gave it to Playa since he didn’t have anything to do at the time since Pinkamena intended to finish the remaining three activities with Treehugger and Gilda.

Pinkie had one last list of cars to hijack and the one who requested the cars talked about them like they would round out his collection so the requester sounded like a wealthy man.

Tobias’ cousin, Richie, was running the same racket as his cousin and he needed someone to protect him while he made his drug deals. Since Treehugger handled the task with Luz, Pinkamena decided to let the stoner pony handle the task.

The last request came from Pierce. He wanted to move some drugs through the Barrio but he was expecting heavy resistance from the Brotherhood so he needed some aerial escort. Once Playa got back from collecting the materials, Pinkamena would get him to fly with Gilda to keep the skies and ground clear of Brotherhood resistance.

The three activities were completed without much difficulty. Gilda made sure she and Playa had air superiority at all times as she shot down enemy helicopters. Treehugger finished her task and bonded with Richie by smoking a few joints together as well as smoking through their bongs. Pinkie stole a number of expensive cars while Pinkamena aggravated the cops a little to get a S.W.A.T. van to deploy so her sister could deliver that to the chop shop to finish the list.

There were not a lot of useful rewards earned by the three though the bulletproof vests and shotgun were more useful than not. They could live without the mechanic discount though since none of them visited a Rim Jobs very often.

With all of the requests complete Pinkamena could focus her efforts on taking back control of the city for the Saints.

Treehugger sat next to Pinkamena on a couch in the lobby of the hideout and got the madmare’s attention. “I got some information while I was helping Tobias’ cousin at the airport.”

“Yeah?” Pinkamena responded.

“Richie said that he overheard Maero talking with some scary people. I think he called them ‘you-row-trash’...?”

“Eurotrash? Those are people from another land. I have a bit of an unpleasant history with them. Then again, who don’t I have an unpleasant history with at this point? So what did Maero want with them?”

“He didn’t get all the details but Maero made some deal with them for what I can guess is a lot of money. The deal is taking place at one of the hangars at the airport but he never told me which one.”

“Alright, you’re coming with me. First we need to get Shaundi to show you how to transfer money electronically. If this deal is involving a large sum then I doubt either party would be comfortable carrying physical currency around in a briefcase.”

“What are you going to do?”

“What I do best.”

After Treehugger received a crash course from Shaundi in computers and, more specifically, electronic transfer of currency, Pinkamena and Treehugger headed to the airport and looked around until they discovered a hangar with a large number of Brotherhood around it.

Pinkamena slashed her way through the hangar with her knife while Treehugger provided suppressive fire with a pistol to cover the madmare during her rampage.

The duo went upstairs to deal with the Brotherhood on the catwalk before forcing their way into the room above the hangar floor. After clearing out the Brotherhood, Treehugger began using what she learned to transfer the money on the computer to an account owned by the Saints. It took some time to do so since keyboards were not designed for hooves.

Once the transfer began, Pinkamena had Treehugger defend the computer while she tore apart the Brotherhood outside the hangar.

Using her party cannon, she demolished the Brotherhood vehicles and smiled as a number of Brotherhood near the vehicles were caught in the explosions.

Pinkamena noticed a number of airplanes moving to take off which made her suspicious since having Brotherhood around would likely have caused any legitimate planes to stay grounded until the situation was resolved. Still, they were moving targets and whether they were the Eurotrash dealers or a legitimate civilian airplane didn’t matter to her. She turned her party cannon around and made sure the planes stayed grounded.

“Being ugly was going to be the least of their concerns,” Pinkamena thought, thinking back to Stefan.

Treehugger returned to Pinkamena to report what she hoped was the success of the cash transfer. Whether or not the transfer was a success though didn’t matter to Pinkamena as the cash was only a bonus.

With the deal broken up, the Saints were able to gain control of the airport from the Brotherhood.

Playa had not calmed down since Carlos was badly injured by the Brotherhood. He wanted Maero to pay dearly for what Jessica did. What he wanted was to steal the incoming weapons shipment but couldn’t do so yet because the ship would not get to Stilwater for a few more days.

In the meantime he needed to blow some steam and keep the pressure going on the Brotherhood. Pierce tried to suggest going after Maero’s tattoo artist but Shaundi interrupted and stole Pierce’s idea which made the lieutenant stutter in disbelief. Playa went along with it because while he wouldn’t admit it out loud, he had fun messing with Pierce.

Pierce mentioned that Matt stored his truck along with everything he needed for his pyrotechnics displays in a delivery truck that was kept at a warehouse in the truck yard.

Pinkamena came along for the ride as Playa and Pierce drove to the truck yard. After clearing the yard of Brotherhood, the trio searched around and found a delivery truck carrying a large number of fireworks.

Pinkie drove as Pierce directed the party mare to the concert while Playa had his fun in the back tossing crates of explosives at the pursuing Brotherhood trucks.

The sound of bad music assaulted their ears to tell them that they had arrived. Playa and Pinkamena, who took over as Pinkie disembarked from the truck, headed into the concert hall and moved onto the stage.

The fans complained as the concert was disrupted. Playa punched Matt to the floor and Pinkamena slaughtered the other band members, sending the crowd into a panic and fleeing the concert hall.

“W-what do you want from me?” Matt asked.

“I’m bored and still pissed about what your boss did to my lieutenant. So I’ve come to fuck you up,” Playa said.

“W-why would y-you do that? I don’t have anything to do with leading the Brotherhood. I’m just their tattoo artist.”

“Because you’re friends with Maero.” With that, Playa forced Matt’s right hand over one of the pyrotechnics displays and triggered the device’s activation by stepping on the activation pedal. Matt’s fretting hand was incinerated as flames engulfed it. Matt screamed in agony as the flames seared his flesh.

Meanwhile, Pinkamena held his other hand down and pulled out a tattoo pen machine that was loaded with toxic waste instead of ink. The madmare’s novice technique left a number of bad designs on Matt’s left arm and hand. However, her bad designs didn’t matter as the intended effect of the job kicked in. Matt’s screams continued as his arm was eaten away by the corrosive substance.

Playa had enough with torturing Matt and went back to the hideout while Pinkamena began doing some novice tattoo work on Matt’s face. Unlike with what Matt did to Maero, Pinkamena intended on tattooing his whole face while the radioactive waste burned his face off.

After covering Matt’s face with her doodles, she got off the guitarist and watched the toxic ink take effect. The skin on Matt’s face began to sag and fall off in chunks, leaving behind damaged muscle tissue and exposed skull.

Making sure to finish the job, Pinkamena jabbed the ink pen through his left eye socket and into his brain, releasing the remaining contents into the organ.

Pinkamena was curious if the waste in his brain might turn him into a zombie but she didn’t want to take any chances so she pulled out her shotgun and blasted Matt’s head off.

During the process of her torture of the guitarist slash tattoo artist, she took pictures of the progress of her work and sent them to Maero to see how far this latest kill would push the large man.

Pinkamena returned to the hideout and rested while she awaited the results.

The results were seen the next day and were about as expected as Maero had unleashed a number of his lieutenants all over the city to rampage on the Saints’ turf. However, Pinkamena had no interest in defending the neighborhoods as long as Playa was around to defend them. That was part of his job as a leader after all.

The reckless attack also cost the Brotherhood Encanto, leaving the number of neighborhoods remaining under Brotherhood control down to four.

What did catch her interest was a call from Troy. She had to wonder what would make the police chief become so desperate as to call her. She answers her phone, “What do you want, Troy?”

“Have you seen the news? A bunch of lawyers were hired by Ultor to get the Brotherhood members my boys captured back on the streets.”

“Why would Ultor have the Brotherhood publicly released? I doubt that would be good for their public image.”

“I don’t know but Vogel is behind this movement.”

“That’s twice that Vogel’s been a pain in my flank,” Pinkamena thought to herself before responding, “We’ll make sure those prisoners never go free.”

“Much as I wanna see this done legally, I can’t win a battle like that against Ultor so I’ll have to deal with the aftermath.”

The call ended but before the madmare left the hideout, Tera approached her with her latest invention. She was holding a case that contained a pair of gloves that were designed to fit the griffon that she intended them for.

The gloves had an inner layer for protecting her talons from the middle layer which was composed of nanites that were designed to tear through almost anything. Attached to the gloves were a pair of armbands that served as a recharging station for the used nanites and an inhibitor to keep the nanites from spreading beyond the gloves and potentially attacking the wearer’s body. There was an outer coating that acted as a means to keep the nanites from flying off the gloves for some reason and in case the wearer touched the wrong part of the gloves for some reason. The nanites reacted to the wearer’s thoughts, making the ends of the gloves sharper in response to the wearer’s aggression.

Pinkamena discussed her idea for the gloves earlier with Gilda and while the griffon refused at first because she preferred using her natural talons to tear at her prey, Pinkamena also enticed her with the idea of gloves that could tear through metal like it was paper. Gilda didn’t have to use the gloves all the time but when a task called for destroying things and she was out of rockets, they would be useful.

Gilda hesitantly accepted the strange gloves once Pinkamena presented the case to her. “It’s time to field test these things. I need a convoy of prison busses with police cars escorting Brotherhood prisoners taken out. I don’t want a single one of those prisoners walking away from those busses alive.

“Got it, boss.” Gilda put on the gloves and flew away. Thankfully, the outer layer also let her hold her things without causing them to erode. She pulled out her phone and used the data Pinkamena sent her to track the location of the busses.

The griffon was soon hovering over the first bus and using her new gloves, let loose her aggressive tendencies which made the gloves transform into claws that she used to tear the roof off the first bus. The prisoners and driver panicked and tried to swerve before the griffon pulled out an SMG and sprayed the passengers with bullets until none were left alive.

Gilda repeated the process with the second bus but when she reached the third bus she ripped out the engine and with a roar hurled the engine into the bus, killing the driver. The prisoners attempted to flee the bus but were hunted like prey as the griffon mutilated them with her claws.

Gilda had a moment to calm down after killing all the prisoners and the police escorts. After that moment she received a call from Pierce who flinched as the griffon nearly screeched into the phone when she answered. Pierce informed her about a number of Brotherhood prisoners being brought to shore by boat from the prison.

With that, Gilda used those speed flying skills she was proud of to quickly reach the boats and used her claws to cut massive gashes into the hulls to sink the boats.

Some of the prisoners tried to swim to shore but they were also hunted like prey as Gilda bloodied the waters.

Gilda spent a few minutes to calm herself. Once she was calm enough, the gloves returned to their dormant state to show that. She waited a few more minutes hovering above the water in case there was another call.

When no more calls came, Gilda returned to the hideout feeling proud of her latest hunt.

Alpha Wolf vs. Predatory Catbird

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“Talk about ‘When Animals Attack’. Did you see the news?” Troy asked over a private and untraceable phone call to Pinkamena.

“Yeah, that was awesome. My enforcer is coming along nicely.”

“I know that you’re all into blood and gore, but could you at least tone it down when you’re in public? I know this city’s fucked up but I’d like to still have folks who aren’t traumatized or psychotic to come from this city.”

“That all depends on how far our enemies go. If they want to go to extremes then we’ll respond in kind. Chances are that Maero strong armed Vogel into releasing the Brotherhood prisoners since that’s the only reason I can think that he would make you do that.”

“Do you think Maero might make Vogel do more for him?”

“Doubtful, Vogel doesn’t strike me as someone who doesn’t learn from his mistakes. Maero’s most likely on his own now.”

“Well hurry up and finish him. If there’s gotta be a gang in Stilwater, I’d rather it be the one I have friends in.”

“We will, once Maero’s precious weapons shipment comes in.”

“One last thing, one of my sources told me that Ultor procured the shipment as payment for releasing the Brotherhood from prison. Expect some Masako when the ship arrives.”

Pinkamena ended her call. She then thought about the shipment and figured that if Donnie was right about its time of arrival, it was due to arrive tomorrow afternoon. With nothing else to do, the madmare retired to her room to prepare for the ship hijacking.”

Playa and the Equestrians checked their ammunition despite the strange fact that they had unlimited ammunition for nearly all of their weapons.

Treehugger had recently taken to her newfound interest in fire and started favoring a flamethrower as her weapon of choice against the enemies on foot. Pinkamena made a mental note to help her choose something that would destroy vehicles effectively later.

Gilda was slowly starting to like her nanite gloves but was encouraged to stick to her RPG launcher and her SMGs for range since Pinkamena really didn’t know how the griffon was going to be hospitalized if she got severely injured as there was no one in this world’s medical industry who would know how to treat a griffon.

Playa, Pinkamena and Treehugger boarded a helicopter and headed toward where the ship was approaching the city with Gilda not far behind.

Once the helicopter hovered over the ship, Playa, Pinkamena and Treehugger jumped out of the vehicle and engaged the Ultor security detail. Pinkamena went below deck where the cargo was located and slaughtered the Ultor guards guarding the cargo. Treehugger ran around on the main deck setting people on fire while being careful not to have the explosive barrels blow up in her face. Gilda kept the airspace around the ship clear while Playa finished off any stragglers.

While Pinkamena was examining the cargo, Playa called everyone to him to make an announcement. “Shaundi just called, we’re about to be visited by a lot of Brotherhood. You three ready to get the party started?”

“A Mena style boat party?” Pinkie said with excitement. “This looks like a job for my party floaters.”

Pinkamena reached into her mane and pulled out what looked like a soda can with Pinkie’s face on it. “This?” Pinkamena asked.

“Mmm-hmm, They’re like my party mines but for water.”

Pinkamena shrugged before overcharging the can and tossing it in the water near the ship’s starboard boarding stairs. She then turned to Gilda and Treehugger. “Gilda, keep the skies clear. Scrap any helicopters that approach. Treehugger, watch the other steps on the other side of the ship.” She pointed to the portside boarding stairs. “I don’t want any Brotherhood making it to the top of those steps.”

“Got it, boss,” the griffon and green pony said in unison. Treehugger got into position and Gilda took to the air as they prepared for the Brotherhood onslaught.

It wasn’t long before boats, jet skis, and helicopters were heading for them. Playa made sure to be careful where he fired his RPGs at the boats so he wouldn’t have his own rockets blowing up in his face.

The boats and jet skis that approached Pinkamena’s position ended up getting launched into the air and targeted by Playa. Some of the aquacraft ended up slamming into a helicopter that was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Since the helicopters were not attack helicopters, Gilda attacked the vehicles like she was at a shooting gallery. Every now and then one or more would get close and give her reason to rip them apart with her nanite claws.

The Brotherhood had an easier time boarding the ship’s port side but what awaited them was fiery death from Treehugger’s flamethrower. Some Brotherhood tried to jump in the water to put out the flames but behind Treehugger was a conveniently placed and running generator with an extension cord with its wires exposed connecting the generator to a hair dryer immersed in the water. Those who fell in the water for refuge were exposed to the electrical current in the water.

The attacks continued for several waves before the last of the Brotherhood invasion was wiped out.

Seeing nobody else coming, Playa called Shaundi to get a crew to collect the hardware and bring it to the hideout.

Once the crew arrived, the defenders’ task was done and returned to the hideout as the arsenal was gradually transferred there.

Playa learned that the Brotherhood invasion were mainly defenders from Fox Drive which left the neighborhood vulnerable to being taken, leaving the Brotherhood with only two neighborhoods.

The Saints rested well that night knowing that tomorrow would be the final push against the Brotherhood.

A large number of Saints gathered in the lobby of the hideout each taking out a weapon from the many crates in the room with eager looks on their faces as they awaited their leader’s order to begin the assault on the Brotherhood hideout in Stoughton.

It wasn’t long before Playa took his place atop the stairs of the lobby to begin his address.

“I’m glad ya’ll seem to like this new hardware the Brotherhood decided to hook us up with. Ya know, up until this point we’ve been toyin’ with Maero...kill his bitch here, steal his money there...but I’m through playin’. We know where he lives, we have his guns, and I say it’s time we take that motherfucker out, whatchu think?”

Every Saint in the room roared with cheer while waving their new toys in the air.

Playa led the Saints all the way to Stoughton where the two gangs clashed in a bloody display of violence.

Meanwhile, Pinkamena’s plan was in place. All she needed to do was find out where Maero was hiding in the chaos. In the meantime, she and Playa indulged themselves by murdering Maero’s lieutenants.

With the Brotherhood being pushed to the wall, Playa started calling out for Maero to come face him and figured that Maero would be hiding on the roof of all places.

On the way to the roof, Playa and Pinkamena cleared out some Brotherhood who were guarding an indoor pot farm. Neither bothered with the stuff and moved on. Treehugger happened upon the room during her assault and dropped everything as she gathered what she could of the farm so she could start her own in her room. Once she plundered what she could, she burned the rest.

Pinkamena and Playa emerged from the building and onto the rooftop where Maero was waiting with a minigun in his hands. The weapon looked small when in the hands of a large person like Maero.

“So, you finally show yourself to me, you monster,” Maero shouted from the distant roof.

“You enjoy that movie I gave you? I was even nice enough to provide the snacks and even some complementary jewelry to go with it,” Pinkamena quipped.

“I’ll make sure your death is slow and horrifying for what you did; turning my girlfriend into cupcakes and melting my tattoo artist’s face off with toxic waste. I don’t even know what you did to Donnie and Lin.”

“You seriously didn’t find out how you lost some of your trucks shortly after the war started? Lin and Donnie were hiding among you till the Saints returned. They were pretty much spies working with us in a sense. How else did you think those cars got blown up and how else did we find out about the shipment?” Pinkamena could tell that Maero’s eyes were turning red with rage from the news about the betrayal and that was just how she wanted this whole matter to be set up. “Too bad I’m not your opponent.”

Maero was too blinded with rage to notice the griffon diving for him. Once Gilda got in melee range, she used her nanite claws to destroy Maero’s minigun in one slash at the barrel.

Maero staggered backward slightly as the weight of the weapon became lighter. He took a moment to reassess the situation and found the strange creature landing in front of him with a smirk on her face. Maero tossed the minigun aside and charged at the creature intent on throwing all of his strength into a punch to break her face.

Gilda quickly flew upward at the last second while Maero was unable to stop his momentum and fell off the building. He managed to survive the fall by landing on some soft garbage. He was dazed for a moment but regained his wits as he ran for his monster truck to make a getaway.

His plans were dashed as Gilda landed on his truck and ripped the engine out. The griffon glared at Maero before roaring and hurling the engine at the Brotherhood leader. Maero dodged the projectile by diving to the side. Gilda landed near him while giving him time to get up. The large man prepared to fight to the death against the griffon.

Maero charged Gilda again with intent to grab her by the neck. Gilda blocked his attempt by grabbing on to Maero’s hands with her claws. The battle turned into a brief pushing match where they seemed equally matched as neither gave an inch.

The match ended when Maero’s hands started to burn before the skin on his hands began to erode. Maero pulled away from Gilda and screamed in pain as he felt the burning on his skin.

With her prey weakened, it was time for the predator to capitalize on such a display by slashing away at Maero’s flesh. Using her speed, she slashed at every part of Maero’s body, leaving large gashes on his arms, back, chest, legs, abdomen, and face. Another slash tore apart his mullet.

As Gilda ran out of places to slash, chunks of Maero’s flesh were ripped from his body. Each slash brought unbearable levels of pain and agony as he was literally torn apart, piece by piece. Nanite claws cut through Maero’s bones. A few slashes to the front torso caused his entrails to fall out as the raging griffon continued her bestial onslaught.

Gilda eventually stopped her attack after she realized that Maero was never getting up again. She panted hard from the exertion while her feelings of rage were slowly replaced with a sense of satisfaction.

“How do you feel?” Pinkamena asked from behind the griffon.

“I. Feel. Awesome…” she said with each pant. “I felt like I channeled the fury of my ancestors as I ripped him apart.”

Pinkamena looked at the griffon with concern. “You’re not going to behave that way every time I ask you to kill someone or blow something up, right? If you’re going to be my enforcer, I want you to be an enforcer and not a beast.”

Gilda laughed at that statement for a full minute before she calmed herself. “That’s ironic coming from you.”

“I’ll have you know that I go for irony in my kills...most of them anyway. I have style with my methods.”

Gilda chuckled some more as she looked at what she did. One last sigh allowed her to relax enough to return the gloves to normal so she could take them off. “Anyway, after that I feel like I got a lot of my anger out of my system. I don’t even feel mad at Dash for turning against me anymore.”

“You know you brought that on yourself, right? Pride is good to have but too much of it can get you in a lot of trouble. It’s kinda been the downfall of many villains in stories and television series.

“I guess…” Gilda said as she rubbed the back of her head. “So what next? Vogel?”

“Not quite yet. There’s still a special someone I want to deal with before we bring Ultor to its knees.

Gilda tilted her head in confusion, “Who’s that?’

“Someone I plan to kill before a certain sniper assassin gets to him first.”

With Maero dead, the remainder of the Brotherhood neighborhoods fell to the Saints.

Corporate Downsizing

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For the first time in five years, Pinkamena was once more considering what she was going to do once Ultor was no longer a threat to the Saints. From what she had seen of Playa lately, when he wasn’t going around busting heads, he was either painting graffiti or collecting CDs off the ground or playing investor as he bought ownership of many stores in the town.

The fact that one can gain income from buying ownership of small businesses showed one aspect of being a powerful gang leader for Pinkamena. She could also see that painting one’s mark all over the city had advertised the Saints and spread their reputation to everyone who saw it.

What interested Pinkamena about the many rackets that went on in the city was not the rackets themselves but the fact that they were sources of income that a gang needed to run. Playa’s role was to make sure the gang kept running.

Pinkamena wasn’t sure if she was willing to run a gang of her own just yet but that might change in the future if something happened.

For now, the Saints needed to deal with Ultor to ensure that no major force was left in Stilwater who would challenge them.

Pinkamena’s phone rang to show Pierce was calling. “Yeah?” she answered.

“Hey, some Ultor exec came to us for protection. Seems Dex wants him in the grave for some reason. I was wonderin’ if you could get your eagle-lookin’ friend to help.”

“Okay, One, she’s a griffon. Two, her name is Gilda. Three, you really need to learn names or Shaundi’s going to have more ways to show you up.”

“Man, don’t even get me started about Shaundi. Girl’s been takin’ all my hard work and sayin’ it’s her idea.”

“You really shouldn’t be competing with Shaundi, Pierce. I know you’re looking for recognition, but you need to be patient. You’ll find your place in this gang soon enough. Shaundi’s the same in that regard.”

“I guess so. Anyway, could you get Gilda to run aerial escort for our Ultor customer?”

“Sure, she should be there within a few minutes.”

“Thanks.”

Playa defended Eric Gryphon’s limousine from the side of an Oppressor helicopter while Gilda, who had far more freedom of movement than a helicopter, was able to quickly dispatch Ultor vehicles with her RPG. For the vehicles that needed more than one RPG to destroy, like the Bear APCs, she sliced them in two with her nanite claws.

Playa and Gilda tore through several roadblocks along the freeway on the way to the Saints hideout. Playa did have some trouble protecting the limo inside of a tunnel while the supports were getting in the way but Gilda had no problem with that as she flew above the limo and kept the front and rear clear of Masako.

Unfortunately, a Masako sniper got lucky and shot the limo driver and a Masako attack helicopter shot down Playa’s helicopter. Playa bailed out of the vehicle and landed on the freeway.

After Gilda tore apart the Masako vehicles with her claws, Playa found a new Ultor car approaching...which Gilda also tore apart.

“Dammit Gilda, I need one working car so we can get outta here.”

Gilda pointed to the one working Bear APC behind him. Playa looked and facepalmed. Gryphon began to wonder if it was a good idea to entrust his life to the Saints.

Playa and Gryphon boarded the APC and drove the rest of the way to the hideout, after totaling a number of civilian vehicles along the way because Playa didn’t know the meaning of ‘oncoming lane’.

If Gilda weren’t wearing her nanite claws, she would have facetaloned.

Eric Gryphon spent the rest of the weekend under the Saints’ protection. During that time, he told Playa and Pinkamena everything he knew about Dex and possible information that they might be able to use against him.

Once Monday came around, Gryphon returned to the Phillips Building where he was greeted by Dex. After some witty banter which translated to ‘Better luck next time’ from Gryphon and ‘I’ll have you killed yet’ from Dex, Gryphon returned to his duties.

The next evening, Playa was freaking out about what Gryphon was suggesting. The executive was suggesting hijacking a series of trucks carrying toxic waste while facing down an army of Masako who were trying to destroy the evidence. Playa didn’t feel like he could deal with a whole army even if Gryphon was providing support with the people who worked under him. However, he had to admit that there was a certain thrill to ruining Dex while facing an army.

Unfortunately, Pinkamena couldn’t join him for the action, saying that she had something she needed to do while leaving the hideout with Johnny. However, Gilda was available to help Playa in this reckless endeavor.

At the nuclear power plant, Playa drove a large truck designed for carrying toxic waste to one of the pumps to have it filled. While the tank was filling, Masako came in large numbers while Gryphon’s men fought them off.

Gilda performed a series of flybys where she gunned down a number of Masako troops with her SMGs while taking the time to blow up any vehicles that Playa had yet to destroy.

Dex called Playa several times trying to get him to see reason and give up but each of his attempts were responded with quips which caused Dex a lot of frustration.

“How can you stand to be near that inhuman pink beast?” Dex demanded.

“Because she knows how to have fun,” Playa quipped.

“How do you know she isn’t planning to kill you to take the Saints for herself?”

“If I die, the gang’s her problem. Shaundi and Pierce already give me a headache sometimes, she’ll be her headache then.”

Playa finished filling the truck at the second pump before letting one of Gryphon’s men drive it to the dock while Playa defended the trucks from an attack helicopter. Gilda made sure the Masako didn’t get near the waste trucks.

After three waste trucks were delivered, Gryphon thanked Playa and Gilda for the assistance and said that he would present the evidence to his fellow executives to have Dex fired.

“How can you be so calm about this?” Gryphon asked.

“Because everything’s been resolved,” Playa responded.

“You know Dex requested an emergency transfer last night. I would have thought you would be pissed about that.”

“Normally I would, but Pinkamena didn’t take part in that mess last night and around here, that’s a sign of good things.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Hey everyone, we’re back,” said Pinkamena as she and Johnny entered the hideout.

“Hey Mena, Johnny, you two have fun last night?” Playa asked.

Pinkamena nodded. “Yep, we had lots of fun with our newest playmate. Bit of a whiner though.”

Last night...

Dex boarded his plane out of Stilwater. He knew that Playa was after his head and he wouldn’t let him have the chance. He made sure to cover all of his bases. He left no evidence behind that might lead Playa to where he was going. He was determined not to be followed.

The only unknown in his mind and one that would drive him to paranoia due to the fact that one could never be truly prepared for would be Pinkamena. He had no idea how she did it but she seemed like she could beat anyone to her next victim whenever she wanted to kill them. For all he knew, that pony could be on the plane as he thought that.

“You’re a smart guy, Dex,” said a high pitched voice behind him which caused him to tense up and shudder as an icy chill ran up his spine. “Too bad you don’t make smart choices.”

Dex looked behind him and saw Johnny for a split second before a fist slammed into his face, knocking him out.

Dex woke up strapped to a chair in the middle of the aisle. He struggled to break free or rock the chair but found his restraints too tight and the chair bolted to the floor.

“Doesn’t this bring back a familiar memory, Johnny?” asked Pinkamena.

Johnny chuckled, “Yeah, I remember fuckin’ up Angelo on a plane before. The chair thing reminds me of when we fucked up Monroe.”

Dex stopped struggling and glared at his captors. “Johnny and Pinkamena, of course this would happen to me. So whatchu gonna do to me? Break my limbs? Cut me open and choke me to death?”

“Nah, I have a different idea in mind,” Pinkamena said.

Dex’s anger erupted in the form of his words, “Don’t you guys get it? There’s no future in workin’ for a gang. You saw how ineffective the Saints were in keeping the streets free of crime. I made the choice to do something that would bring an end to this gang shit.”

“Yeah, and bring in stronger variations of organized crime. Maybe some Italian mafia would feel tempted to move in. I’m sure the Colombian drug cartels would love moving into Stilwater. I could imagine the Triad would love to move in on the Stilwater market. There is simply too much opportunity in the vice markets to pass on them. Gangs are only taking advantage of the market to make their profits. The markets are something Ultor could never fill because doing so would only lead to bad publicity for the company as a whole.”

“Then the markets are the problem.”

“Maybe. But it’s not something that can be solved by a show of force like your Masako. Ultor isn’t a government. In the end, you’re as shortsighted as Julius.”

“So now you’re gonna kill me like you kill everyone else who gets in your way.”

“Not everyone, just the ones who give me a good reason to kill them; such as you selling out and trying to kill us with your private army. If he weren’t useful, I would have killed Troy a long time ago.”

Pinkamena pulled out a case from a luggage compartment and opened it to reveal parts to a sniper rifle. She stopped responding to Dex’s complaints as she assembled the rifle.

Once the rifle was assembled, Johnny put Dex’s old hat on his head which had a grenade glued to it. The hat was positioned so that the grenade was on his forehead.

“Since you were supposed to be killed by some Ultor assassin named Cypher in the canon, I’m gonna use this sniper rifle in your torture. Remember William Tell? This’ll be the reverse.”

Dex’s confusion turned to pain as Pinkamena fired the first shot and struck his right shoulder. Dex howled in pain as his shoulder bled from the entry and exit wounds.

Pinkamena readied another shot and fired it at Dex’s left upper arm. She chose random targets all over Dex’s body while purposefully avoiding all of the vital organs.

After a few rounds, Johnny asked to fire a few rounds at Dex. Pinkamena gave the rifle to Johnny who pointed the rifle at Dex who was whimpering in pain at that point. Johnny did as Pinkamena did and fired several rounds at Dex’s limbs and a risky shot into Dex’s lower torso. “This is like shootin’ cans at the hideout,” Johnny commented. “Though the assault rifle is more my speed.”

Pinkamena took the next few rounds. One of the shots caused one of Dex’s testacles to rupture.

“Kill me!” Dex screamed. “For the love of God, please stop fuckin’ around and just kill me already!”

Suddenly, an alarm went off in the cockpit. Pinkamena had set the plane to fly in circles around the city and the alarm indicated that they were heading on a collision course with another airplane.

“Johnny, time to go.”

“You remember your parachute this time?”

“Of course, I have to bring one since my landing cushion isn’t here.”

Johnny chuckled, “Just make sure he doesn’t find out you called him that.”

Mere seconds before the two planes collided, Johnny pulled the pin on the grenade on Dex's head before the duo opened the main cabin door and leapt out of the plane. Both deployed their parachutes shortly before they landed in the street.

After removing their parachutes, the two shared a laugh before Johnny spoke, “That was fun. Wanna stop by Freckle Bitch’s before we head back?”

“Sure, I’m buying. I’m feeling a bit generous today after that.”

“In that case, I’m orderin’ the menu, somethin' for the boss, Shaundi and Pierce since they couldn't be here to see that asshole burn.”

Corporate Takeover

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Pinkamena and Johnny decided to enjoy themselves at a nightclub as a treat to themselves after killing Dex. This was likely to be their last chance to relax before the Saints made the final move to bring Ultor to their knees and claim ownership of the remainder of the city through them.

The duo sat at the bar while enjoying the atmosphere of the club. Pinkamena sat in silence while thinking about what the Saints would do once Ultor was no longer a threat. She preferred not to have a repeat of the five year downtime she experienced while waiting for Playa to wake from his coma.

“So Mena,” Johnny started, already a couple of shots in. “I know you’re from a different world an’ all. What’s it like?”

Pinkamena chuckled bitterly. Remembering her old home brought back some unpleasant memories from her foalhood. “I’ll tell you one thing, that world isn’t for the likes of us. It’s too happy and peaceful in general. It might be a good place if you were planning to retire from being a psychopath. The gender power over there is reversed compared to here and the nation that I came from is ruled by Princess Celestia who is extremely powerful. To give you an idea, she controls the movements of the Sun and Moon from the balcony of her castle.”

“Sounds pretty impressive, but I’m sure she takes to bullets about as well as anyone.”

Pinkamena giggled. “It’s a nice thought but a bad idea at the same time. A Pony like that would be able to control the planet’s climate indirectly. Killing her would fuck the whole planet over; especially if you kill her sister, Princess Luna as well.”

“Wow, sounds like she has your world by the balls.”

“No doubt.”

Before Pinkamena could taste her first shot at the bar, her Pinkie Sense went off. A series of twitches informed the madmare that they were about to be attacked.

Pinkamena pretended that nothing was wrong while diving over the counter and tossing many bottles of whiskey at the door while acting like she was searching for the right bottle. The bottles she tossed shattered, leaving puddles of booze around the door and forming a trail to the bar.

“Mena, what’re you doin’?” Johnny asked.

“Playing arsonist. Got a lighter?”

Johnny was confused about the mare’s actions and words but figured there was a reason behind it so he pulled a lighter out of his pocket.

“Light the stuff on the floor in three…”

Johnny produced a flame from his lighter.

“Two…”

He prepared to toss the lighter.

“One…”

Impacts were heard from the club’s main door before a team of Masako broke it open and started moving in.

“Party Time!”

Johnny realized what the mare wanted and tossed the lighter into the booze trail. The alcohol quickly ignited and quickly engulfed the Masako who entered in flames as their suits caught fire.

When the patrons panicked about the Masako and the fire, they fled through the emergency exit to escape the chaos in the club. Johnny and Pinkamena escaped with the crowd.

Once outside, The duo hijacked one of the Ultor cars and drove away. The Masako spotted them and gave chase.

Johnny pulled out his phone and called Playa. “Hey, you got a second?”

“I can’t talk right now Gat, I’m in the middle of killin’ some assholes.”

“Yeah? I got a couple APCs tryin’ to run my ass down. Listen: if they’re comin’ for us you can bet your ass they’re gunnin for Pierce and Shaundi too....you gotta go check on them. Me and Mena will check on Lin and Donnie.”

“Fuck! I’ll make sure Shaundi and Pierce are alright. Meet back at the hideout so we can start figurin’ how we push back.”

Once the call ended, Johnny tracked the GPS signatures on Donnie’s and Lin’s phones. After a short drive that left a trail of Masako bodies and APC parts on the road, Johnny and Pinkamena found the couple defending themselves. Pinkamena blew up the Ultor vehicles with her party cannon while Johnny gunned down the troops on foot with an assault rifle.

Once the couple was out of immediate danger, the four of them got into the Ultor car and drove back to the hideout, Pinkie once again showing her impressive driving skills.

Playa had just finished clearing the hideout of Ultor troops when Johnny, Pinkamena, Lin and Donnie returned. Everyone gathered around one of the dead troops trying to figure what happened.

“I liked Ultor a lot more when they just made clothes…” Shaundi commented.

“Whatchu do to piss these guys off?” Pierce asked.

“Fuck if I know,” Playa responded.

“Yo, I signed on for killin’ gang bangers, not fightin’ some SWAT team from hell…”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it Pierce, we’ll take care of it…”

“The fuck you mean, ‘don’t worry about it’, these guys are packin’ space-age shit…”

“Is he always this much of a bitch?” Lin asked.

Pierce glared at Lin, “The fuck you say?”

“Shut the fuck up, both of you.” Playa commanded. He inspected the body and found a badge on his person. It looked like it belonged to Ultor’s infamous Pyramid. “Hey Tera, your old workplace called, looks like they wanna fuck us up now.”

“Does this mean we can finally go after Ultor?” Tera asked. “If you are, I wanna watch that Pyramid burn.”

“If you can handle yourself in a fight, you can come along.”

Tera pulled a shotgun from one of the weapon crates lying around, loaded it up with buckshot and cocked it. It didn’t prove anything but Playa didn’t care at this point. If the scientist slash porn star wanted to get herself killed, it was her problem.

Johnny started calling his contacts for information on Ultor and found some promising info. He informed the Saints that some Ultor executives were meeting at the Rounds Square Shopping Center with minimal security.

Pinkamena jumped at the opportunity and went to the underground shopping mall with Playa.

While the two scoured the mall for the executives, Pinkamena noticed the still present burn marks from when Treehugger torched The General.

Playa gunned down two of the executives while Pinkamena sliced through two more while leaving her signature gore scene where her victims were.

The duo found out that the remaining executives were in a conference room at the bottom floor of the mall. While Playa was trying to get there with ATVs that he kept crashing, Pinkamena used her more reliable hooves to get to the conference room.

The security in the room was far from enough to slow the madmare as she painted the room red while slaying each executive and security guard in as many different ways that she could think of at the time.

Playa finally made it to the conference room in time for Pinkamena to walk out of it while covered in blood and a satisfied look on her face. “You couldn’t save some for me?” Playa complained.

“Learn to drive better and we wouldn’t be having this problem.”

“It’s on my to do list, I just haven’t gotten around to it.” Pinkamena rolled her eyes at Playa’s excuse.

The duo said nothing else as they slaughtered their way past the Masako and returned to the hideout.

The owner of the mall was sick of the violence that went on in their precious mall and later made an agreement with Playa that the Saints could roam the mall as they pleased as long as they stop bringing their violence to the place. Playa only agreed to the deal in exchange for being allowed to buy ownership of the stores that he liked in the mall. The owner begrudgingly agreed.

Playa called all of his lieutenants together at a Mexican restaurant to hold an emergency meeting to deal with Ultor. The Saints didn’t need to dig for information about the Pyramid’s location since Tera used to work there. All they needed to do was make a plan.

“I want Pierce, Shaundi, Lin and Donnie with me hittin’ the streets and takin’ out as much Ultor property as they can. The distraction will be more convincing if I’m part of the distraction. Johnny and Pinkamena, Take Tera and whoever else you think might help take out the Pyramid.”

“I’ll bring Treehugger,” Pinkamena said. “As long as she doesn’t roast us, she can burn any security who gets in our way. Seared researchers would be a bonus. Gilda can be part of the distraction team.”

With the plan decided, the meeting was adjourned. Playa brought most of his lieutenants, and Gilda, to the Row to cause havoc while Pinkamena, Johnny, Tera and Treehugger used a sewer entrance into the Pyramid as directed by Tera.

Thanks to the distraction and Vogel mobilizing the Masako on the Saints, security in the Pyramid was minimal. The four of them ignored the staff that didn’t attack them but whenever a security guard showed up to defend the facility, there was collateral damage. Staff were often caught in the assault and were either cleaved with the guard or suffered major burns from Treehugger’s flamethrower.

Tera pointed out important pieces of equipment while Johnny set bombs near them. Once the last bomb was planted near the last of the equipment that she remembered in the facility, an alarm went off and the group began searching for an exit from the facility.

Tera directed the group to an exit tunnel that had an APC parked inside. The group boarded the heavy vehicle and Johnny drove it through a set of heavy doors and safely onto the roads in the city.

Tera spent the next couple of minutes making taunts at the facility that she hated with a passion while explosions went off in the facility.

Pinkamena called Playa to tell him that they accomplished the mission and returned to the hideout. Playa headed through the nearest Forgive and Forget before following suit.

With Ultor trying to clean up the physical and media mess left behind with the destruction and exposure of the Pyramid, the corporation was forced to lay off the Saints for a while. After some well earned rest, the Saints were ready to begin their attack on Ultor anew.

While Playa and Pinkamena were discussing their next move, Pierce handed Playa an unaddressed manila envelope that showed an article about an Ultor party on a yacht held by Ultor’s Board of Directors.

“Lookin’ to crash a party?” Pierce asked.

“Thinkin’ about it…” Playa responded. “Whatchu think, Mena?”

Pinkamena put a hoof to her chin, “Sounds like Vogel wants to use you to get rid of the biggest threats to his corporate ascension.”

“You think he’s the one who sent it?”

“Who else knows where the hideout is and would send the article inside office stationery?”

“Gryphon?”

“Good point, let’s call him to make sure.” Pinkamena pulled out her phone and dialed Eric Gryphon’s number. When the executive picked up, Pinkamena asked her question, “Hey Gryphon, did you throw your Board of Directors under the bus by sending us an article of the executive boat party?”

“What are you talking about? I didn’t send any article. Probably Vogel’s doing though; the kid's quite ambitious and would sell anyone out to climb the corporate ladder. Is that all? I have a meeting to attend.” The sound of a flushing toilet could be heard in the background. “One other thing, if Vogel were somehow removed from the company roster, I’d be in a position to make sure the company leaves the Saints alone, if you catch my drift.”

Pinkamena hung up and looked at Playa. “That’s two who believe Vogel sent it.”

“Still, I’m not gonna pass up an opportunity to take out their Board of Directors. I’ll let you handle Vogel.”

Pinkamena left the hideout with Treehugger and Gilda and headed for the Phillips Building while Playa headed for the marina to borrow a boat and crash the Ultor party.

Pinkamena and her lieutenants that she was slowly starting to consider as friends were caught off guard as they arrived at the Phillips Building and noticed the security at the door actually opening the doors to let them in. “What’s going on?” she asked.

“You are Pinkamena the Pink Pony, correct?” one of the guards asked.

“Yeah...?”

“Mr. Gryphon informed us that you would be coming and said he would meet you on the seventieth floor. The elevator behind the clerk’s desk will take you to the fiftieth floor. Another guard will escort you to the elevator that will take you to Mr. Gryphon.”

Pinkamena was skeptical at first but her Pinkie Sense wasn’t sensing any danger so she followed the guard’s directions and entered the elevator.

On the way up, Gilda asked a question, “So if he’s named Gryphon, why isn’t he one?”

Pinkamena gave the griffon a deadpan stare, “You’re asking me strange questions now of all times? Don’t ask me why humans name themselves as they do. They’re weird that way.”

Treehugger said nothing to the other two as she admired the inside of the elevator and the music being played.

The elevator arrived at the fiftieth floor just after Pinkamena shot the speaker the music was coming from. There was only so much elevator music she could take.

A guard asked why she shot the speaker. “Because you have lousy selection in elevator music,” she replied.

The guard shook his head before he directed the trio to the next elevator that took them up twenty more floors.

Gryphon greeted them as they got off the elevator. He remained silent as he accompanied them to another elevator that was bound for the top floor where Vogel was. “What’s your deal?” Pinkamena asked during the elevator ride. “What do you get in all this?”

“Vogel isn’t the only one who likes to climb the corporate ladder. If the Board and Vogel are gone, I get to take over as director of special projects. Difference between Vogel and me, I’m willing to work with the Saints. Better to do so than risk more of our executives taking part in episodes of ‘1000 ways to die’.”

The elevator reached the top floor of the Phillips Building and the first person they saw was Vogel’s secretary, Jaime. “Can I help you, Mr. Gryphon?” she asked.

“I’d like to see Mr. Vogel immediately, I brought him his present from the Secret Santa that was held during the Gala.” Gryphon presented a gift-wrapped box. Gryphon knew that Vogel had contributed to the event but didn’t show to collect his gift so he took advantage of his absence to sneak Pinkamena into Vogel’s office.

“I see, and who are these with you?”

“Some associates whom I am in the middle of negotiations with.”

“Why couldn’t you give your gift to Mr. Vogel after your meeting?”

“Time is money, Jaime. I need to get these tasks done quickly.”

“Very well.” Jaime hit a button to signal Vogel.

“Yes Jaime?”

“Mr. Vogel, Mr. Gryphon and his associates are here to see you regarding a Secret Santa gift he was insistent on giving to you personally.”

“Very well, send him in.”

Gryphon and the Equestrians entered Vogel’s office. The executive was staring at the boat that was under attack by Playa and felt proud of himself about how he manipulated the Saints into doing his dirty work so he could reach the top of the corporate ladder.

Vogel turned around to greet his fellow executive, “Welcome, Mr. Gryphon. How may I--” He froze when he saw Gryphon’s associates. He gulped as he put on his friendliest smile. “Miss Pinkamena, what an absolute pleasure to see you again. Big fan of your work by the way.”

Pinkamena put on a cheery smile that slowly became creepier with each second until her trademark evil smile was on her face. “Hiya Vogey, since you probably have better things to be doing with your day than chatting with little old me, let’s get down to business.” She looked at her griffon friend, “Gilda?”

As if on a trigger, Gilda flew at Vogel, grabbed his arms and flew out one of the many windows in the office.

Pinkamena looked at Treehugger, “Ready?” Treehugger nodded as the two jumped out of the broken window and plummeted many stories toward the ground. At the last minute, Pinkamena deployed her parachute while Treehugger did the same. The two of them landed near a construction site and prepared for the next phase of their operation.

“You don’t have to do this,” Vogel begged. “I understand your frustration towards me but it wasn’t my idea to send the Masako after you and your friends.” Vogel’s begging continued while Gilda kept ignoring his pleas.

Eventually, his aerial tour of the city came to an end when he was placed inside a square-shaped enclosure. Before Vogel got up, a cement mixer backed up to his square prison and started dumping cement on him. Vogel got up in time for the cement to come up to his ankles. When he tried to escape, Gilda lifted her gloved talons to reveal the nanite claws as she presented them threateningly.

The cement had reached his knees and his movements began to slow. While the cement was being dumped on him, the edges of the enclosure were being heated by Treehugger’s flamethrower, rapidly drying the cement and fully trapping Vogel in his stone prison.

The cement rose above his waist, past his torso and finally immersing his head into the construction material. Treehugger finished hardening the cement before Gilda broke the molding and left a hardened cement block.

Pinkamena approached the stone block with a hammer and chisel. With one tap of the hammer on the chisel on the block, Pinkamena had somehow turned the stone block into a statue of Dane Vogel.

The three of them stared at the statue until Gilda asked a question, “So you mentioned there was a phase three, what is it?”

“I figured that we should help him put himself into his work of remodeling Saint’s Row. Fly him to the church and put him inside.”

Gilda did as told and placed Vogel inside the church. Pinkamena snapped a photo of the newest addition to the church. She then planted a number of explosives on the building’s main supports. The trio evacuated the building before Pinkamena triggered the bombs and caused the building to collapse on top of the statue of Vogel, shattering it and the man inside.

While admiring her latest work, Pinkamena’s phone rang. Playa asked if she had killed Vogel yet. “Yuppers, he’s nice and dead now. So now what? Ultor’s gonna be reorganized after what happened so what now?”

Playa chucked, “This is our city now...we do whatever the fuck we wanna do…”

Interlude: Uprising

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The days in Equestria passed like normal. Everypony went on with their lives as usual. However, without Pinkie, parties were not as fun as they could have been. The fillies and colts of Ponyville were never satisfied with their birthday parties or their cuteceaneras. It was always Pinkie who made their parties just how they liked them.

Twilight and her friends spent their free time looking for ways to either bring Pinkie back from the world Discord sent her to or to find a way to go to her. Discord made a Pinkie Promise to keep an eye on their friend and made sure that she didn’t end up in over her head.

Discord had warned the Mane 5 that going to that world would be too dangerous. At this point, Equestrians were infamous among the people there and would be more likely to try and arrest them out of fear that they would turn out to be more murderers like their friend. Gilda and Treehugger only made the situation worse in that regard.

Fluttershy was in disbelief that her old friend would end up being a killer since Treehugger was always a peaceful pony.

Rainbow Dash held onto some bitter feelings about the griffon. She never fully forgave her for trying to drive a wedge between her and her friends.

“The little psychopath is more charismatic than I thought,” Discord muttered.

“What do you mean?” Twilight inquired.

“Pinkamena was able to get Treehugger, a pony who is normally peaceful, and Gilda, who should still have some bitter feelings toward Pinkie from that party, to follow her in her campaign of violence and bloodshed. Though given what I’ve seen of those two, it seems they had some dark secrets of their own.”

“What secrets?”

“Seems Gilda has some anger issues related to Dashie betraying her.”

“What?!” Dash screamed. “She’s the one who acted like a jerk to Pinkie and made a mule of herself at the party...no offense.”

“None taken,” said a passing mule.

“Seems like she’s slowly getting over that betrayal with each person she kills. I’d say she’s been projecting you onto each of her kills.”

Dash’s complexion paled before she gulped.

“As for Fluttershy’s friend, it seems she spent some time in Zebrica and learned some of their dark magic. Invoking that dark magic brought some suppressed feelings to the surface.”

“What kind of suppressed feelings?” Fluttershy asked.

“It seems that she has a suppressed love of burning things.”

An awkward silence passed over the ponies.

“Are you sure Pinkamena isn’t corrupting them somehow?” Twilight asked.

“Those feelings have always been there, Twilight.” Discord answered. “Though it does seem that she has a knack for bringing out one’s inner chaos.”

“Ah gotta address the timberwolf in the room, how’s Pinkie Pie?” Applejack asked.

“The little bundle of cotton candy and energy drinks is fine. For some reason, Pinkamena’s been rather protective of her. She goes out of her way to make sure Pinkie doesn’t witness her depraved actions.”

“So what are they doing now?” Twilight asked.

“Seems Pinkamena and her new friends killed some arrogant businessman and sent him on a one way trip to Tartarus. The Third Street Saints have entered into some sort of promotion deal with the company that businessman worked for.”

“How is it possible for humans to get to Tartarus?”

“Not telling.” Discord literally zipped his lip with a zipper.

Celestia rubbed her temples with her forehooves as she read a disturbing report from Detrot. The situation in that cesspit called a city was continuing to escalate as the police force there were hard pressed to keep the criminal elements contained.

“Sister, thou art in distress. Pray tell what the problem is?” Luna inquired.

Celestia let out a heavy sigh. “Detrot is in a bad way, dear sister. Lawlessness has become rampant and it seems that a group of ponies there have formed some sort of organized crime ring. They’re calling themselves the Detrot Eclipse out of spite toward us for being unable to maintain order there.”

“What would have caused them to go down this lawless path, sister?”

Another sigh from Celestia. “Perhaps it is my fault that matters ended up this way. In my bid to bring peace and harmony to Equestria, I displaced our unruly citizens to one place and funded a police force there with more bits than I would any other. Unfortunately, the disorder in Detrot continued to worsen and now the funding I am giving the police there is not enough. Ponies there have immersed themselves in every vice imaginable. Stallions are openly pleasuring mares in the streets, ponies are throwing their bits away through rigged gambling operations, a Zebrican drug cartel has moved in and started selling their profane substances to my little ponies, and finally, the Eclipse has been stockpiling weapons.”

“Didst thou send the Royal Guard?”

Tears started flowing from Celestia’s eyes. “They were killed, every last one that was sent,” she whispered, barely audible but loud enough for Luna to hear.

“Perhaps we should intervene, dear sister.”

Celestia shook her head, “That would be an acknowledgement of the gang as a major threat to Equestria. Our little ponies will view any threat where we become involved as something that needs to be wiped off the face of Equus. It is tragic for the Changelings, but after the invasion, they would fall under that category. I won’t subject my ponies to such treatment, no matter how misguided they are.”

“Then what shall we do?”

“All we can do is contain them to Detrot and make sure their influence doesn’t spread beyond the city.”

There were some things that Discord never told Twilight and her friends about Pinkamena. At first he sent her to Stilwater to not only remove a violent threat to the ponies around her, especially the Elements of Harmony, but also to remove one of said Elements from play. Forming a relationship with one of them had made him reconsider the latter reason but still felt that Pinkamena was still too dangerous.

In order to help with the former of the two reasons, he sent Treehugger and Gilda to Earth on purpose to help teach Pinkamena the magic of friendship. He chose those two because they had the best chances of adapting to the culture of Stilwater. It worked in its own twisted way.

While Pinkamena taught those two to let loose the suppressed darkness in their hearts in less consequential ways, such as killing enemy gang members and law enforcement that sought to kill them, Gilda and Treehugger had also triggered a change in the psychotic pony. Pinkie helped with that as well. Pinkamena had earned their loyalty by supporting them. Treehugger got a few real laughs out of the madmare whenever she slipped some drugs into Playa’s food and drink. The Saints leader’s antics while high were hilarious to both her and Discord.

While Pinkamena was making progress, Discord decided that a few more ponies might have more of an effect on her. He knew about the backdoor route to Equus and he could only hope that she would realize her destiny before she found it.

In a small house in Canterlot was a library worth of books piled in stacks twice the height of Princess Celestia. Books covered every piece of furniture, including the bed of the mare that owned the house.

Sitting at her desk, the mare studied book after book, filling her mind with knowledge for the sake of learning. It was unproductive, but she preferred that over being outside with everypony else.

The unicorn mare was yellowish gray, a red mane and tail with purple highlights, purple eyes and wore a dark gray sweater and a pair of taped glasses. Her cutie mark was a purple crescent moon with three light purple stars around it.

After a certain mare stood her up on her birthday years ago, the resident had become a shut in and rarely left her house while studying as a means of escaping from reality.

A knock at her door pulled her out of her comfort zone. She grumbled as she walked away from her desk and to the door. She didn’t bother cleaning up her disheveled appearance before she opened the door.

Minuette, Lemon Hearts and Twinkleshine, her old classmates from school, greeted her. “Hey Moondancer, we’re going to this restaurant down the street to get a bite to eat, you wanna come with?”

Moondancer frowned, “Can’t, I’m busy studying.”

“Come on Moondancer, you’re always studying. School is years behind us. Shouldn’t you have chosen a career by now?”

“Like I care,” Moondancer snapped. “I stopped caring about my own future a long time ago. The one pony I really wanted to be friends with and she snubbed me because she felt some prophecy about Nightmare Moon was more important than being my friend.”

“Forget about her, she’s not worth suffering over. You still have us. We are friends, right?”

Moondancer shut the door.

Just as she turned around to return to her desk, another knock came at the door. Moondancer growled and lit her horn to make the door fly open.

“What part of-”

*snap*

The house was filled with the deep, beautiful sound of the cello. The melody was soft and relaxing. Of course, the one playing the music could only hope in vain that it would make her energetic roommate fall asleep so her practice could go uninterrupted.

“Taviiii...I’m bored. Can’t you play something more upbeat?”

It was fun while it lasted.

Octavia Melody, an earth pony mare with a light gray coat and a dark gray mane and tail and purple eyes, wore a white collar and a pink bowtie. Her cutie mark was a pink treble clef.

Octavia sighed, “Vinyl, I told you before, I have a concert next week and I need to practice. Besides, you have a gig in three days at that nightclub in Manehattan. Shouldn’t you be getting ready for that?”

Vinyl Scratch is a white unicorn mare with a mane and tail of two tones of blue. She wore magenta shades over her red eyes and her cutie mark was two eighth notes. She was also a famous DJ.

“Eh, doesn’t take a lot of prepwork to get set up. My skills on the turntable are sharp as ever.”

Octavia rolled her eyes, “Don’t come crying to me if your gig is a bust.”

Vinyl decided to change the subject, “So when are you gonna talk about your mysterious past, Tavi? I’ve been more patient with that than I actually thought myself capable.”

Octavia groaned, “This again? I told you that just because you somehow found out Bon Bon was my colleague from my old line of work doesn’t mean I’m ready to tell you what my old job was.”

Vinyl rolled upside down on the couch. “No fair Tavi, you already know everything there is to know about me. It’s your turn to share.”

“Fine…” Octavia adjusted the pegs on her cello which opened a tiny compartment for her bow to fit into. Once the bow went into the compartment, the cello opened to reveal a briefcase. She removed the briefcase from its musical container before putting it on the floor and unlocked it. Opening the briefcase, Octavia revealed a disassembled sniper rifle.

“Whoa…” Vinyl gasped. “What is that?”

“This is state of the art technology that I promised my supervisors of my old job that I would keep safe from anyone who would think to steal it and use it against Equestria. My vow continues even after my retirement.”

Octavia could sense the deadpan expression through Vinyl’s glasses. “Retirement? Tavi, we’re still relatively young.”

“Okay, fine, early retirement. Some ambitious agent from Detrot got me fired when he gave me bad information to sabotage me. This prototype was my severance package...in a sense.”

“Wow...newfound respect for you. Can you use it?”

Octavia smirked, “Pegasi aren’t the only ones with good eyesight. Sadly, I have no ammunition to show you how it works.”

The sound of a teleport was heard from the living room. The two musical ponies turned to address the draconequus in the room. “I know of a place where you can get plenty of ammunition,” Discord said.

“Hey Discord,” Vinyl greeted. “You comin’ to my gig in Manehattan?”

“As much as I enjoy your raves, I’m afraid your plans are about to be cancelled.”

Vinyl tilted her head, “What do you mean?”

“The two of you are about to take a one way trip somewhere; two way if you can find the way back.”

“Discord,” Octavia began. “I know you’re having fun sending ponies to wherever you took the Element of Laughter, but we simply do not have time for--”

*snap*

Welcome to Steelport

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Time has marched forward for the Saints. With the death of Dane Vogel, Eric Gryphon had become the highest ranking executive of Ultor.

The atmosphere of the gang had made some drastic changes over the years. Gryphon had decided to have Ultor profit off the Saints’ growing popularity in Stilwater. The leadership of the Saints were given a number of promotional deals by marketing their brand in the city and beyond.

Because of the deal, Pierce had become the face of the Saints as he starred in numerous commercials.

Shaundi had become more focused and was forced to clean herself up of her drug addictions because of a dating show that she ended up hosting.

Carlos had recovered from his ordeal with the Brotherhood. However, his near death experience coupled with his low self esteem that he never had the time to improve had left him convinced that the life of a gang member wasn’t for him so he dropped his flags and found himself a nice apartment to live in while he figured out the rest of his life.

Lin and Donnie, despite how helpful they were against the brotherhood, also ended up dropping their flags as a night of intimacy had left Lin pregnant with Donnie’s child and they had to consider the child’s future over their own with the Saints.

Unfortunately, Neither Pinkamena, Treehugger or Gilda were allowed to be part of the marketing because Ultor found out that the rights to their images went to a company named Hasbro. Pinkamena didn’t mind this but at the same time, she called Hasbro and started demanding her royalty checks.

For the Saints, Ultor began selling things like Johnny Gat bobbleheads, clothes with the Saints logo, some weird-tasting energy drink called “Saints Flow” that Pierce promoted, and other products.

“This her?” asked a muscular man with dark skin and wearing a light purple t-shirt with the number six on it, a pair of denim jeans and black shoes. He also had a tattoo of a smiling cat with huge glasses and cartoonishly slit eyes. He was looking at some photos of a certain pink pony.

“Yeah, I’ve been doing some research on her ever since the Saints started becoming famous beyond Stilwater,” said a man who kept his image concealed in a fedora and a trenchcoat. “She’s earned the nickname ‘Butcher of Stilwater’ because of her large kill count. But that’s not all.”

“There’s more?”

“Yeah, it took a lot of research but I found that she and her two friends are not of this world. At first, it was just her. Years ago, she brutally murdered one of the Vice Kings by throwing a knife into his calf, stabbing him in the dick then let him bleed out for a few minutes before she executed him with a shotgun. She gave someone from that Carnales gang a Colombian Necktie, tricked some Colombian drug cartel into killing one of the leaders then engineered a plane crash for the last leader. The list goes on about her brutality.”

“So what’s the worst one she’s done so far?”

“It happened with the Brotherhood not too long ago. I had to get this from their leader’s laptop but I saw the file. She tortured and killed their leader’s girlfriend and baked her remains into a batch of cupcakes which she tricked the leader into eating.”

“Wow, that’s hardcore. She’s perfect. The Professor’s been looking for contestants to pique his interest. Thanks for the info.” He dismissed the concealed man before he pulled out his phone. “Hey, I checked out that lead for a new contestant and this one’s brutal. I think we should invite her to Steelport for a season, see how good she is.”

Pinkamena was bored.

Ever since Ultor started promoting the Saints instead of fighting them, there had been no more legitimate enemies to kill and no reason to destroy things. There was hardly a reason for the Saints to act like a gang anymore since Playa and the human lieutenants became celebrities.

Gilda shared in the boredom while Treehugger spent her time meditating or trying the various ways to get high. Pinkie was able to get more done since the Saints had few enemies left in Stilwater, so Pinkamena didn’t need to go around murdering people. The party mare spent her time assisting Laura with matters of the school district’s PTA by planning parties or providing the baked goods for bake sales.

Pinkamena was pulled from her lethargy when she heard some gunfire going off in the hideout. As quickly as the fighting began, it ended. The madmare felt disappointed for a minute until a strange person walked down the stairs.

The person was in a mascot costume of a smiling pink cat wearing a white button-up shirt with red buttons. He wore green slacks and a lab coat that went down to his hips as well as a blue bow tie. His head was disproportionately large and wore taped glasses that were large, even for his massive head. The glasses enlarged his green eyes with tiny slits.

“So,” Pinkamena began, “before I send you back to where you came from one organ at a time, you wanna tell me what your deal is?”

The mascot casually took a seat and spoke with a squeaky voice, “My name is Professor Genki, and I’m here to invite you to the city of Steelport to take part in a season of Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax.”

Pinkamena tilted her head and raised an eyebrow, “What the Tartarus is that?”

“It’s a super popular game show that pits the contestant against an army of mascots in a course filled with danger. You win if you survive and beat the game.”

“Still not selling me. You’re gonna have to do better than that if you want me to take part in your dumb show.”

“Did I forget to mention that to win you have to score enough points and you get points for each mascot you slay?”

Pinkamena’s ears perked. “You have my attention.”

“It seems my reputation has not reached you yet. I am Professor Genki and my doctorate is in murderology. I specialize in killing people in every way I can think of. My people have been scouting you out ever since the Saints got famous.”

“So let me get this straight, if I take part in your game show, I get to murder your mascots to my heart’s content?”

“Yep, that’s exactly what it means and you’ll be doing it in front of every viewer who watches the show, and I have a lot of viewers.”

Pinkamena placed a hoof on her chin and thought for a moment. “I think I can stick around for a season. Hope you have enough mascots to entertain me.”

“I am sure I can entertain you that long, I have a whole army of mascots to call upon.”

One season later in Steelport…

“I don’t believe what I’m seeing here, Bobby. Is such a thing possible?” said a man in a turquoise suit with the number six on it with a bright green undershirt and blue striped tie.

“If you’re hallucinating Zach, then so am I. In this one season we have seen so much from this mare as well as giving the audience a series of lessons in human anatomy and the body’s limitations in flexibility. I feel like I took a course in college just from watching her.”

“This is a first in Genki history. For the first time ever, a contestant actually slaughtered every mascot we had available for the season. She even killed the Genki Girls and the Hunters.”

“This is a sad day for everyone who watches this show. Without mascots we will have to postpone Genkibowl VII until we can get more mascots. That shouldn’t take too long since mascots are a dime a dozen.”

After their outro, Zach and Bobby made a call to their network. Once they finished, they approached the madmare and handed her her prize money. As Pinkamena started walking out of the building, the announcer duo stopped the mare to make their request. “Your creativity with murder has convinced the network to offer you a contract,” Zach said.

“You do know that Hasbro has rights to my image, right?”

Bobby responded, “We’re not marketing image, that’s Professor Genki’s job. We want to market your murderous tendencies. The people of this city want to see you murdering the Syndicate that runs this city.”

“If I wind up going to war against the Syndicate, I’ll accept the contract.”

“There’s more,” Zach added. “After what you did this season, we would like for you to not participate next season. In exchange, we want you as a guest commentator for next season as well as Genkibowl VII.”

“Why would I do that? Sounds boring.”

“You’re still watching people get slaughtered, you’re just talking about it instead of doing it,” Bobby said.

“Please, Mena. I miss commentating for the Running of the Leaves. It would make me happy to see you commentating,” Pinkie begged.

Pinkamena groaned, “Fine. I have to go back to Stilwater first though, I have to let the Saints know what I’m doing and bring my friends slash henchcreatures.”

“That’s fine, just let us know when you’re back in Steelport.”

Pinkamena bid farewell to Zach and Bobby and left for Stilwater.

Pinkamena returned to the hideout to find Gilda lying lazily on her back on the couch with her beak hanging open. Treehugger was meditating in quiet peace.

“I’m back, where are the others?”

“Dunno where Pierce went,” Gilda said. “Playa, Johnny and Shaundi took some actor dweeb named Josh Birk to the bank to rob it. Me and Tree couldn’t go with them because it had to do with their publicity.”

“Mena, it’s starting!” Pinkie said.

“What’s starting?”

“Saints Row: The Third silly.”

“Oh, right. Shoulda realized that sooner after that whole Steelport business.”

“Pack up your belongings, you two. We’re moving to a new city,” Pinkamena ordered.

“Really?” Gilda questioned. “We’re leaving the Saints behind?”

“No, they’ll be coming with us, they’ll just be taking a different route there. We’ll meet again in Steelport. Gilda, you can provide aerial reconnaissance of the city during the transition.”

“Got it, boss.”

“Treehugger, find Pierce and let him know where we’re going.”

Treehugger silently nodded.

“I have some business to take care of before we set up shop there.”

Johnny was in the middle of a brawl with a number of Morningstar and Phillipe Loren. While outnumbered, Johnny’s fighting skills were still too much for the Morningstar.

“Johnny, we’re about to jump!” Shaundi said over the intercom.

“Right on, I’ll see you in Stilwa-” Johnny was interrupted by a barrage of fire from Loren. Johnny used the body of a Morningstar as a meat shield before tossing the body at Loren. The psychopath proceeded to pound Loren’s face in before a slow clap was heard nearby. He stopped punching to look at the new arrival.

The new arrival was-

“Save the description for Saints Row 4,” Pinkamena said to the author.

“Bravo,” the mysterious figure said. “It would seem your reputation doesn’t do you justice.”

The figure yelped in pain as he found a knife jammed up his posterior. “You…” he growled. “How did you get here?”

“Do you really wanna ask that question?” Pinkamena asked.

“I suppose not, I take it you’re here to stop me from abducting him.”

“Yeah, I wanna let him have some fun in Steelport before we pay you a visit later.”

While irritated that the threat to his invasion would still be a threat, the pony might end his invasion before it began if he wasn’t careful. He would have to make a change in plans. “Very well, I’ll let him stay with you but in exchange, someone or somepony will take his place.”

“That’s fine, we’ll rescue them regardless.”

With that, the figure teleported out of the plane.

Johnny and Pinkamena each grabbed a parachute from a dead Morningstar and ran out the back of the plane, ignoring the fact that Loren was still alive.

The duo landed in the streets of Downtown Steelport.

Once they got their parachutes off, Johnny addressed the mare, “The fuck was that thing? Seemed like he wanted something from me.”

“He’s not someone we need to deal with right now, not yet. Trust me.”

“Fine,” Johnny relented. “So where are we?”

“I think this is Steelport, the Syndicate that Eurotrash runs, operates here.”

“Fuck! I forgot to make sure I finished that guy off.”

“Don’t worry about it, we’ll finish him here in Steelport.”

Johnny’s phone rang. He answered to hear a panicked Shaundi screaming at him about how he scared the shit out of her because she was afraid he was dead.

“Will you calm the fuck down? I’m fine,” Johnny shouted into his phone.

“Where are you?” Shaundi asked.

“Pinkamena called this city Steelport. You here too?”

“I think so, Gilda just found us. She spotted you parachuting nearby so we’ll meet up soon, as soon as I can get the boss to stop punching this ATM.”

“Gotcha, we’ll see you soon then.”

Johnny hung up.

Author's Notes:

Saints Row: The Third has officially begun and Johnny gets to be part of it this time.

Before anyone asks, no Pinkamena did not clear all six of the PGSERC activities before the game started. This was only the previous season as the actual six instances will still take part during the SR3 arc. The reason I did this was because I thought it would be more amusing for Pinkamena to be set up as a commentator and watch Playa get abused by the labyrinth. There's another reason I did this that will be revealed a little later.

As for Lin, Donnie and Carlos, I do apologize to those who hoped to see me do more with them but there's only so much I can do with characters who made so little impact in the canon aside from their deaths. The least I could do was leave them with a happier ending.

Setting Up Shop

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It wasn’t long before the Saints were back together, except Pierce. Shaundi had not yet gotten over her emotional high as a result of her concerns about Johnny’s potential death so she continued yelling at Johnny in his face. Johnny knew she didn’t mean anything bad about it so he let her vent.

Meanwhile, Pinkamena approached Playa and asked why he was in a bad mood.

“Someone hacked into our bank account and stole our money,” Playa growled.

“Looks like we’re starting from scratch then. Fine by me. We can show the Syndicate how we defeated the Samedi, Ronin and Brotherhood this way.”

“Well, if we’re goin’ against the Syndicate, we better make sure we have enough weapons and ammo.” Playa pulled out his phone and used the GPS to locate the nearest Friendly Fire. He then looked down the road that was next to a large number of strip joints to find a lone car near the intersection.

Playa, Pinkamena, Johnny and Shaundi entered the vehicle and Playa drove them to the Friendly Fire.

On the way, Pinkamena pulled out her phone to call Zach and Bobby to let them know they were in Steelport. The announcers let her know that for her participation in the Genki franchise, they were giving her a promotional knife that she could collect from any Friendly Fire in Steelport. Pinkamena’s knife had seen a lot of use over the years and just like her first knife from when she started killing gangs, it was getting rusty.

After a few collisions, the group arrived at the nearest Friendly Fire.

Unlike in Stilwater, the gun shops in Steelport offered weapon upgrades in addition to ammunition. Playa decided to improve his pistol while filling up his ammo reserves which had become finite again at some point.

After the shopkeeper was finished doing business with Playa, he turned his attention to Pinkamena. “You here to buy guns?” he asked.

“I was told you have a promotional item for me.”

“You’re Professor Pinkamena?”

Pinkamena tilted her head in confusion. “Professor? That’s a new one. But my name is Pinkamena.”

“You didn’t know? The producers of the Professor Genki franchise have been publicly promoting you as the Professor’s colleague, Professor Pinkamena. They say someone could build a whole mountain of the corpses you made in Stilwater and Steelport.”

Pinkamena was taken aback and was slow to regain her composure, “Wow, that actually sounds a bit flattering. I don’t know about ‘mountain’ though since I never bothered to count my kills; never saw the point in doing that.” Once her composure was fully regained, she turned the conversation back to the main topic, “So about my promotional item?”

The shopkeeper went into the back of the store and brought back an interesting-looking knife. The blade and handle were intricately designed with what appeared to be vines engraved throughout the weapon.

“Here you are, one accurately crafted Vorpal Blade.”

“Vorpal Blade?” she said as she took the knife. “What is this, ‘American McGee’s Alice’?” She studied the blade further. “Make that ‘Madness Returns’.”

“The Professor said that the knife was made of a material that would never rust. He also said that it would fit your psychotic image.”

Pinkamena rolled her eyes. “Fine, I’ll take it. But if I suddenly start running around in a blue and white dress with symbols on it, don’t come crying to me if Electronic Arts starts throwing a fit over this.”

Pinkamena decided to buy up the available upgrades to her weapons since unlike Playa, Pinkamena kept her personal funds separate from the Saints’ accounts. Her upgrades to her Vorpal Blade had given the blade an ebony color and the handle was scarlet.

Outside the store, Playa was discussing with Shaundi and Johnny about what to do next. “Shaundi, did you get in contact with Pierce?” Playa asked.

“I texted him a few minutes ago, he’s bringing the crew.”

“Looks like we’re gonna need more guns for the crew, any suggestions.”

“Maybe we can raid the guard armory,” Shaundi suggested sarcastically as a joke.

“Good idea.”

“What!?”

“Hey yeah, I like that plan,” Johnny added.

“Are you guys fucking serious?” Shaundi asked.

“Shaundi, you’ve been with us long enough to know that paramilitary organizations don’t scare us. An armory shouldn’t be a problem,” Pinkamena said.

“I could really go for some Dust right now.”

The group immediately ran for cover the moment the vehicle stopped in the military base. Playa was impressed with the improved effectiveness of his pistol while Shaundi focused on staying alive and Johnny worked on his kill count.

A wicked smile formed on Pinkamena’s face as her Vorpal Blade cut cleanly through the soldiers’ armor and the soldier. Gilda, who had been following the Saints from the air, unleashed death from above as her SMGs tore through the dwindling number of soldiers in the base.

Shaundi got impatient with Pierce so she called him to demand where he was at.

Pierce arrived in dramatic fashion with a fleet of helicopters carrying Saints, including Treehugger, who finished off the few remaining soldiers in the base.

Playa spotted a large bomb in the base and decided to take that with them in addition to the weapons that were lying around. As military reinforcements moved in, Playa decided to play around with advanced military hardware called Reaper Drones and unleashed destruction upon the tanks that were moving in.

Once the bomb was loaded up to be airlifted, the Saints boarded a helicopter and flew away from the base with a number of military choppers in pursuit. Gilda tore through the pursuers with rockets or cut their tails off with her nanite claws.

Once the pursuit was eliminated, the Saints set the bomb down on the roof of the apartment building that was occupied by one of Shaundi’s ex-boyfriends.

Now that they had some time to breathe, the Saints gathered together to discuss their next move. Playa believed that the first order of business was to find a place to call a headquarters because the apartment was too small to consider as a base of operations for the long term.

Playa drove around the city with Pierce while Pinkamena filled Treehugger in on the situation. She then took the two to the nearby Friendly Fire and had them pick up some updated and upgraded weapons. Gilda received a new pair of SMGs and a better RPG launcher. Treehugger had her flamethrower improved upon while Pinkamena gave her a grenade launcher so she would be able to deal with enemy vehicles.

As they left the store, the group was ambushed by a group of Syndicate troops who were quickly dispatched by Gilda and Treehugger.

The real opponent was an overgrown hulk of a human who wore clothes that looked like they barely fit him.

The Brute attacked the group using nothing but his brute strength to fight them. All three of them evaded his charge. The Brute turned around and charged at Gilda who was caught off guard by how quickly the Brute reacted.

Before he could reach his target, Pinkamena got between the two before she jumped upward and decapitated the Brute with one slash.from her Vorpal Blade.

Once the headless mountain of flesh collapsed on the street, Gilda breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks for the save.”

“You’re welcome.” Pinkamena began examining the head of the Brute and found something oddly familiar about the person. After a few moments of thought, she realized that he looked just like the Brutes that were sent after her during her time participating in Genki’s game show. If the likeness really was exact, then the Brutes were somehow copies of someone. Either someone knew of a copy spell or she had discovered another aspect of human science.

Pinkamena tossed the Brute’s head away as she heard a vehicle approach and stopped near them. Playa and Pierce saw the trio and had them get in the car. Pinkamena and Treehugger complied while Gilda followed from the air.

“Something to note about Steelport,” Pierce began, “There ain’t no Forgive and Forgets around here, but the Syndicate and police won’t cross us on our own turf. Since that studio apartment is the only turf we have right now, it’s the only way to drop our notoriety.”

Playa drove straight for the crib and the group retreated into the building which made the Morningstar back off for the time being.

Feeling that they have had a productive evening in Steelport, the crew each found a place to get some sleep before they moved against the Syndicate again.

Much of the next day was spent getting the lay of the city. Johnny, Pierce and Shaundi were out collecting useful info about the city or Loren and the Syndicate.

It was evening by the time Playa decided to give Pierce a call to check on him. Pierce informed him about a penthouse owned by the Syndicate and of a party going on there. The lieutenant suggested crashing the party by parachuting onto the penthouse. The other Saints would be waiting for him to unlock the elevator from the bottom floor.

Playa decided to go with the idea and drove to the airport while at the same time questioning why he thought Pierce’s idea was a good one.

A helicopter hovered over the penthouse. Playa and Pinkamena were preparing to jump onto the building when Playa noticed that Pinkamena wasn’t wearing a parachute. “Why aren’t you wearing a parachute?” he asked. “You better not be thinking about using me as a cushion again because I’ve had enough of that.”

The madmare stared at Playa for a moment before looking at the penthouse. “Don’t worry about that, I have my own landing plan. You can go first.”

Playa shrugged and jumped off the helicopter and deployed his parachute but failed to take into account the wind above the penthouse and nearly fell off course to miss the building. After thanking his luck for not failing that base jump, he took off his parachute and headed to the Syndicate lieutenant hanging out by the pool.

Pinkamena overheard the conversation over the radio between Playa and the Morningstar lieutenant and heard that the elevator code was 3131.

“I’m getting a sense of deja vu.” Pinkamena thought.

“Oh, that’s because it was the same code that was used for the penthouse elevator back in Stilwater when the Vice Kings owned that building.” Pinkie commented.

Pinkamena mentally groaned, “Lazy Volition...”

After Playa chucked the lieutenant off the penthouse, Pinkamena jumped from the helicopter and pulled out a hobby horse from her mane. Her aim was right on target as she fell toward the pool. The madmare held the hobby horse above her head and motioned to slam the pool with the child’s toy.

The impact from Pinkamena’s attack created a large shockwave that caused all of the water in the pool to fly outward and splash everyone around the pool, including Playa. Many of the Syndicate were carried away in Pinkamena’s tsunami and off the building.

Playa managed to avoid the wave but couldn’t help but yell at the mare, “Dammit Pinkamena, warn me next time you do that. I almost had to use my spare parachute and wait with the others on the bottom floor.”

“Now what would be the fun in that?” Pinkamena quipped.

Playa’s phone rang. “Boss, the whole building just shook. What the hell happened?” Shaundi asked.

“Don’t worry about it, Pinkamena just got carried away. I’m actually surprised she didn’t smash her way to a lower floor.”

“How did she do that?”

“She’s Pinkamena, don’t question it. I stopped doing that a long time ago.”

Playa hung up and the duo engaged the Syndicate inside the penthouse. The Saints leader urged the madmare to keep the blood to a minimum because they were going to be living in the penthouse and a bloodied penthouse would be a hassle to clean up. Pinkamena complied and restricted herself to simple stabs and her guns that left little blood.

The duo fought to the elevator downstairs and entered the code, allowing the other Saints into the penthouse.

While the Saints were clearing out the place, Shaundi reported that more Morningstar were being dropped off by helicopter. Treehugger rushed to the helipad and hosed the new arrivals in fire.

Shaundi also reported a bomb that was set on a timer and they needed to disarm it fast. Playa noticed that one of the helicopters was fleeing the building, likely carrying the person who knew how to disarm the bomb. Playa also noticed that Pinkamena was missing. At the same time, he noticed that the fleeing helicopter was moving erratically before it started to move normally again. Playa pulled out his binocular and saw the pilot falling from the helicopter to the street below.

Playa’s phone rang again to find that Pinkamena was calling. “Red wire,” she said.

“Red wire, Shaundi,” Playa shouted to the lieutenant.

“Damn, I lost the bet.” Shaundi mumbled as she cut the red wire and disarmed the bomb.

The helicopter returned to the helipad and Pinkamena emerged from the cockpit.

“Alright, let’s get the crew in here and get this place cleaned up,” Playa ordered. “Let me know if we find anything useful in this place that we can use against the Syndicate.”

The rest of the evening was spent cleaning up after the party and checking out what the penthouse had to offer.

Promoting the Saints with Pierce

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Acquiring a penthouse headquarters was certainly a step up from religion-based buildings such as a church or a mission that led into a run down underground hotel.

While everyone was checking out what the Syndicate left behind, Pinkamena decided to place a call to one of the Genki representatives to gather information on the city layout and basic information on the Syndicate. After all, if they wanted her to go around butchering the Syndicate, they should have the information she needed to effectively deal with them.

From what she was told, Steelport was divided into five districts, four of which had actual neighborhoods while the fifth was just a military armory. The other four were named Downtown Steelport, New Colvin, Carver Island and Stanfield. The Syndicate held ownership of those four districts with the organization being composed of three factions.

"Why are three of the districts named after three of the characters from 'The Wire'?" Pinkamena asked.

"Beats me, Mayor Reynolds was the one who renamed them after he took office," the representative responded.

The representative continued her explanation on the Syndicate. Philipe Loren was the leader of the Syndicate while the factions that the organization was composed of were led by three sub leaders.

The Morningstar, the faction that likely incorporated the other two, were a European gang with exquisite tastes. They specialized in arms dealing, human trafficking and prostitution. The sex trade was supervised by Loren’s proteges, Viola and Kiki DeWynter. The faction operated mainly in Downtown Steelport and New Colvin.

The Deckers were a gang of computer geniuses that handled the money laundering for the Syndicate as well as all cybernetic related crimes. The leader of the Deckers was a professional hacker named Matt Miller who was often reclusive and cowardly but was much more confident on the cybernetic battlefield. They were based in Stanfield

The Luchadores were a male only gang who only employed masked wrestlers. They were the muscle of the Syndicate and handled the gambling operations and sold steroids. The leader of the Luchadores was a self-obsessed masked wrestler named Killbane. His real name was Eddie Pryor, a name that Killbane hated with a passion and a note that Pinkamena would leave in the back of her mind for the time being. Killbane was the Syndicate’s attack dog and may have a little too much ambition which would mean that if a power void were to form in the case of Loren’s death, he would be the one to take it. Carver Island was the focus of Luchador activity.

Knowing that these sub leaders existed told Pinkamena that the Syndicate was not going to end with just the death of Loren. The Saints would have to deal with the DeWynter sisters, Miller and Killbane as well.

Pinkamena informed Playa of the new information over the phone while the Saints leader was busy practicing his base jumping off the helicopter pad.

“Yo Mena, check it out,” Pierce said as he walked up to her holding a keyring with a large number of keys on it.

“It’s a bunch of keys. You know what they go to?”

“Yeah, these are safety deposit keys. Of all the shit the Syndicate left behind, these seem the most important, at least I hope so. Only way to find out is to head to the bank and see what they got.”

“Alright, you tell Playa about this and I’ll get Gilda ready to run aerial escort. If those keys are important, the Syndicate will be on you the moment you leave the bank.”

Playa and Pinkamena boarded an Oppressor helicopter and Gilda took to the skies as Pierce entered the bank and began going through the safety deposit boxes. The Saints flew around the bank a few times to take out any Syndicate who were early to the party.

All three Saints were armed with Annihilator RPGs and ready to blow up a lot of Syndicate cars.

Once Pierce finally exited the bank with whatever he found, he entered his car and headed for a place to hide from the Morningstar who were heading straight for him.

Gilda made sure the area ahead of Pierce was clear as she fired rockets at incoming Moringstar cars and blew up blockades with Playa and Pinkamena adding to the firepower.

Pierce made it to the hiding place but needed to deal with his remaining pursuers before he could effectively hide. While Pierce was getting on foot, Playa and Pinkamena landed the helicopter on a nearby rooftop and used the cords attached to the harnesses they were wearing. Hanging over the edge of the roof, the duo pulled out sniper rifles and began shooting at Morningstar either as or before they exited their cars. Gilda blew up the cars as they were getting out.

Once Pierce had effectively hidden himself from the Syndicate, the two retracted the cables and boarded their helicopter to return to the hideout with Gilda close behind.

Once Pierce felt safe that the heat was off of him, he returned to the hideout to look over the documents that he obtained from the safety deposit boxes.

While Pierce was examining the documents, he called the Ultor headquarters and requested a shipment of Saints goods to sell in Steelport. The shipment was later delivered by air to the penthouse.

Pierce asked Pinkamena to drive him around Steelport while he peddled the goods to the citizens since he intended to promote the Saints brand in the city. The madmare agreed to the task since she didn’t have anything to do at the moment.

Once the duo got to Pierce’s car, Pinkie took over and drove Pierce to a couple of locations where he would make his deals. Meanwhile, Morningstar were chasing them throughout the district. Whenever Pinkie had to make a stop, Pinkamena took over and blew up the cars with her party cannon and bloodied her Vorpal Blade by dismembering the, as Rarity would put it, abominations to fashion.

Thankfully, the buyers didn’t give Pierce any trouble and Pinkie was able to get the two of them back to safety at the hideout.

Playa, Pierce and Pinkamena were sitting around in the lobby of the penthouse as Pierce was just finishing up his examination of the documents. As he finished, a wide smirk formed on his face.

“You look like you won the lottery,” Playa commented.

“In a way, we did,” Pierce responded.

“So, what’s so important about these documents?” Pinkamena asked.

“Oh, these are more than just documents, they’re the deeds to every store and property the Syndicate owns in Steelport. We just gotta head to each one and buy ‘em up. Once we do that, we’ll get a nice cash flow going.”

“I’ll let Pinkamena handle it this time,” Playa said. “I’ve had enough fun playing investor in Stilwater.”

“Yeah, ‘cause people will jump at the chance to be bought up by a pony,” Pinkamena said with words dripping in sarcasm.

“Maybe if you were an ordinary pony. I know you’ve been gaining fame lately yourself, Professor Pinkamena.” Pinkamena blushed and looked aside as she was taken aback at the mention of her recently acquired stage name.

Pierce continued, “Playa’s right, word’s spread fast about your fame around the most favorite TV show in Steelport. I even watched a few episodes so see what it was about. Wiping out an entire cast of mascots within the time limit each episode isn’t somethin’ a normal contestant could do. I doubt even Johnny could do it that efficiently.”

“Hey!” Johnny shouted from across the room, “I could do that if I wanted, I just don’t have the time for game shows.”

“My point is that people are as likely to let you buy ‘em up as they would Playa. And since Playa’s leavin’ this to you, it’s your problem now,” Pierce finished.

“Fine, I’ll do it. But what will Playa do? The Syndicate aren’t like the Stilwater gangs so tagging a location isn’t going to be worth anything and I doubt people carelessly leave CDs on the ground like the people of Stilwater does. If he’s not investing, what is he doing?”

“This time I’m gonna be the one who handles the assassination contracts and vehicle requests,” Playa said. “While I’m not needed to make a big decision as a leader, I’ll be handling some of the challenges the other Saints have set up for me.”

“So you plan to fool around and only act like a leader when you need to be,” Pinkamena deadpanned.

“Pretty much. If you’re gonna lead your own gang one day, and I have a feeling you will, you gotta learn how to handle the boring stuff too.”

Pinkamena raised an eyebrow, “What makes you think I will?”

“Just a hunch.”

Pinkamena started her business venture by heading to the Friendly Fire in Loren Square in Downtown Steelport. Pierce tagged along to help show her some of the basics of taking control of the city.

Pinkamena and Pierce went inside the Friendly Fire to negotiate buying up the store in their name. Surprisingly, the storekeeper was quite desperate that a simple hundred dollar investment was enough to claim ownership rights of the store. Since Pinkamena had plenty of cash, the investment was a negligible expense.

The store owner mentioned that because of his refusal to sell to the Syndicate, they tried to bury her business but thanks to the protection of the saints, the store would be back on its feet in no time. She also mentioned that any other store that Pinkamena bought from now on would be a lot more expensive, ranging from five thousand to ten thousand dollars.

Pinkamena thanked the storekeeper for the advice and followed Pierce into an alley where they discovered a box filled with sex dolls.

Pinkamena gave Pierce a deadpan stare while the lieutenant felt the mare’s judging stare.

“It ain’t like that, they’re collectible. You’re supposed to find them all.”

Pinkamena maintained the stare.

“Judge me all you want. I don’t have to justify my hobbies to you.”

“Remember what I said about you humans having a lack of self control? You’re not proving me wrong,” Pinkamena commented.

“Whatever, let’s just head to the apartment building.”

Pinkamena knew plenty of mares used stallion sex dolls back on Equis, but that didn't stop her from teasing Pierce every now and then.

The trip to the apartment building was spent in silence. The landlord seemed just as desperate as the Friendly Fire storekeeper that a hundred was all Pinkamena needed to pay to own the building.

Pinkamena had asked Pierce about how she was supposed to collect periodic income from the businesses to which he showed her the cash transfer application on her phone that took all incoming payments from businesses and set them in a queue to be added to her own bank account.

“Alright, the next thing we gotta do is find where the Morningstar are doin’ their deals and wipe ‘em out. We do that, and the hoods will be much easier to hold.” Pierce pointed to a likely location of a Morningstar deal on her phone’s map. Pinkamena drove to the location and found a large group of Morningstar making deals.

With the group so close, Pinkamena announced herself by firing her Party Cannon at the group, killing a number of them with an explosion. Her Vorpal Blade finished the rest while making the area look like a crime scene of a massacre.

Pierce directed her to another Gang Operation which was dealt with the same way except blowing up a car helped take out nearly all of the Morningstar in the area.

After finishing off the group, Pierce had Pinkamena take them back to Friendly Fire because while they owned the place, the Saints could protect them and the Syndicate would have to back off.

“Sounds like a game of tag where the more places you own, the more bases there are,” Pinkamena commented.

“I guess you could think of it like that.”

Once the aggression from the Morningstar had subsided, the duo returned to the hideout. On the way, Pierce mentioned that in addition to the sex dolls, which Pinkamena withheld her comment, there were a number of other interesting collectibles scattered throughout Steelport that ended up there as a result of what went on during their plane ride a few days ago. Besides the sex dolls, there were also palets of cash and drug packages that were also collectible. Pinkamena once again withheld her comment about the strange collectibles. Pierce also mentioned that she should get some face time with her fans by taking part in some streetside photo ops.

While the activities of Steelport were relatively new to Pinkamena, she had a feeling that she was meant to be doing this sort of thing, minus the weird collectibles of course.

Storming Downtown

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After Pierce had left Pinkamena to her own devices in favor of peddling more Saints wares around Loren Square with Treehugger, Pinkamena decided to take the time to boost her personal income a little more by spending five thousand dollars buying up a few properties in Loren Square and Sunset Park. She bought four properties for that five thousand in the form of the Odyssey Hostel, High Rise Condos, Stikit Inn and the Fill-Her-Up Super Toy Shop. This increased her periodic income by five hundred dollars.

Pinkamena had Gilda keep an eye out for large bundles of drugs and cash as well as crates of sex dolls. Gilda was confused about the last part but after Pinkamena explained Pierce’s guilty pleasure, the griffon laughed uproariously to which the madmare joined in the amusement.

“These humans really do have no self control,” Gilda commented.

“Don’t be so quick to judge these humans so harshly,” Pinkamena admonished. “I’ve seen sex dolls in Equestria too, except ours are mainly stallion variants. They’re mainly for mares who can’t get off on dildos alone.”

“I think I could have gone through the rest of my life without knowing that bit of trivia.”

“Maybe, but knowing it’s a thing would reduce the shock value if or when you find out that truth for yourself.”

Gilda focused her search pattern to Loren Square and Sunset Park. Her search had proven fruitful as she located and marked four drug packages, three money pallets and three crates of sex dolls for the Saints to collect later since she wasn’t about to lug around that kind of cargo.

While she was on her way back to the headquarters after her recent string of investments, Pinkamena received a phone call from Pierce who informed him that part of being a celebrity was to sometimes cater to the fans. He informed her of a few fans in the area who would like to take some photos of her and Playa.

“It’s not like I asked to be a celebrity, Pierce,” Pinkamena said.

“Fame doesn’t last forever. You gotta flaunt it while you still got it,” Pierce countered.

The madmare rolled her eyes and resigned herself to taking part in the impromptu photo ops throughout the city. Pierce directed her to three within Loren Square and Sunset Park. She donned her lab coat and posed for the street photographers while trying not to act on the impulse of taking a before and after photo of them getting maimed by a city sanitation vehicle.

Pinkamena had a feeling that if Pierce weren’t a loyal gang lieutenant, he would have made for a decent talent agent.

Pinkamena had returned to the headquarters shortly before Pierce and Treehugger returned from their latest venture of selling the Saints brand to the people of Steelport.

Pierce was looking at another pile of documents that the Syndicate had kept at the bank when he discovered something important. He found the main route that the Morningstar used to deliver their goods to the people of Steelport.

At first, he considered just letting Pinkamena cause some havoc along the route but decided that the message wouldn’t be as effective with just one mare blowing stuff up around town. After thinking about how the message could be made effective, he decided on something big to deliver the message.

Pierce called Pinkamena to request her assistance once again. “Hey, you feel like blowing shit up?”

“After the day I had, I feel like I wanna blow up the whole city,” Pinkamena responded.

Pierce chuckled, “Well, I don’t have anything that grand in mind, I found the route the Morningstar uses to deliver their goods in the Syndicate files.”

“And you want me to blow them up?”

“In a way, but I want your message to have some real impact. For that, I’m thinkin’ tank.”

“Tank?”

“Yeah, using somethin’ big and imposing would really send a message to the Morningstar that the Saints ain’t fuckin’ around.”

“This looks like a job for my party tank,” Pinkie said.

“I’m not even surprised that you would bring that thing up,” Pinkamena commented.

“Of course, I only use it in the most extremest of extremely extreme party emergencies when I have to cheer up a whole town of depressed ponies with a party. Ponyville was a town of sad sacks before I used my party tank. They had to rebuild the whole town afterward.”

“I saw that, that was probably the most exciting thing you ever did while I was locked away in our head for ten years. Nothing cures depression better than triggering one’s survival instincts. It was hilarious when Celestia actually made a royal decree forbidding you from using that tank again.”

Pinkamena headed to the designated area to begin her assault. Once there, she pulled a box out of her mane with a button on it. She pressed the button and the box unfolded into Pinkie’s party wagon. After inspecting the wagon further, Pinkamena found the button she was looking for; one that was labeled, “DO NOT PUSH, BY ORDER OF PRINCESS CELESTIA.” Since the Princess had no power in Steelport, nothing was going to stop her from pushing the button. Once she did, the wagon unfolded further and reshaped itself into the form of an M1 Abrams battle tank painted pink with Pinkie’s signature blue and yellow balloons.

While the tank was designed to make use of Pinkie’s specialized party shells that blasted an area with confetti and party decorations, Pinkamena added her personal touch to the shells for use in the destruction to come.

Once her tank powered rampage began, Pinkamena drove the tank down the target street and fired at everyone and everything in sight, blasting them with deadly blasts of confetti and party favors. Vehicles that exploded from the shells also sent waves of confetti everywhere.

Pinkamena laughed maniacally at the mayhem she was causing, but all too soon the fun had to end as the street was cleared of Morningstar and she had caused the target amount of costs in damages.

The madmare pouted as she felt that she didn’t have enough fun with the tank while Pinkie assured her that there would be more opportunities for that kind of fun later. Her assurance was enough to mollify the madmare.

However, a call from Pierce had lifted the madmare’s spirits again as he informed her of a couple more locations around Loren Square that needed to be blown up with her tank. The other locations had a lot more to destroy and a lot of angry Morningstar and police wanting to destroy her tank.

By the time Pinkamena was finished tearing through Loren Square, nobody could go anywhere in that neighborhood without seeing vehicle wreckage and bloodstained streets with unrecognizable human remains.

“Feeling better now?” Pinkie asked.

“Much better,” Pinkamena responded, letting out a sigh of contentment.

Feeling satisfied, Pinkamena hit the button that ejected her from the tank and transformed the vehicle into its box state before she put the box back in her mane.

Pinkamena received a call from Pierce. He informed her that Playa and Johnny were going to be co-contestants for a season of Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax. He also informed her that the studio wanted him to tell her that it was time for her to take her spot as guest announcer for the game show. The last thing he mentioned before hanging up was taking Treehugger with him on one last run through downtown to clear out the merchandise inventory.

After what she did in Loren Square, Pinkamena was charged up and ready to watch Playa get abused for her entertainment.

It didn’t take long for Pinkamena to arrive at the site of the first game of the season. She headed up to the commentator booth and saw Zach and Bobby ready to go. She donned her lab coat and took her spot near the other commentators.

“Glad you could make it, Pinkamena,” Zach said.

“You ready to see some action?” Bobby asked.

Pinkamena nodded, “Mmm-hmm, I’m now motivated and ready to go.”

“I would hope so after the mayhem you caused in Loren Square before you got here. Professor Genki was all charged up from what you did,” Zach commented.

One of the camera crews told them that they were about to start rolling. The trio prepared themselves as the cameras began rolling.

Zach began, “Hello Steelport, and welcome to Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax!”

“Time to see how the game is played,” Bobby said.

“Fight your way through Professor Genki’s Super Sparkle Lab for fun AND profit!”

“Now, with every man, woman, and tiger shot, your prize money goes up. But look out! No one likes it when you shoot a panda!”

“UNETHICAL!”

“Once you’ve collected enough money, the door to the Lab opens up, and you’re free to go.”

“But if you think it’s that easy - you’ve never seen Genki before!”

“Oh, and one more thing. On this show, no one gets to take a break. If you want to stay in the fight, be sure to shoot the First Aid target.”

“And now, without further ado, it’s time to introduce our guest commentator for the season.”

“She single handedly - or should I say single hoofedly - wiped out every mascot and hunter we had on call during the season that we had to postpone Genkibowl VII.

“Her creativity in her kills made me feel like I was taking a college course in murderology just by watching her.”

“Now here she is, the infamous Butcher of Stilwater, The Cheshire Pony, and the first and only living creature that Professor Genki himself acknowledges as his colleague in murderology and rival at the same time…”

“PROFESSOR PINKAMENA!” the two said in unison.

The camera turned to Pinkamena. “Glad to be here you two. I’m looking forward to seeing a lot of carnage tonight, and some contestants get abused.”

“I’ve heard that you know our contestants, Pinkamena?” Zach asked.

“Yeah I know them, one is the leader of the Third Street Saints who I work under. The other is one of his lieutenants who has a much higher kill count than his companion.”

“So what are you expecting from these two, Pinkamena?” Bobby asked.

“I have a side bet going on with these two, something to motivate them. Every time one of them shoots a panda, I get to punch them in the balls after the show. These hooves alone can break bones so imagine how that would feel in your nether regions.”

The two instinctively covered their crotches with their hands while making sour faces.

Zach recovered in time to get the show started. “Let’s get the festivities started. Its Murder Time! Fun Time!”

“He said it! He said the thing!” Pinkie yelled.

Playa and Johnny began navigating the labyrinth of mascots, fire and electrical fields. Both of them timed their movements with the lethal obstacles while watching each other’s backs against the mascots.

Every now and then a present would get dropped into the maze which gave Johnny or Playa a new toy to play with.

Playa would sometimes miss his timing and get a little burnt by a flame wall or electrocuted by an electrical field. Because of this, he had to keep an eye out for health targets.

Johnny made sure to keep a calm enough mind to not shoot a panda target because he really did not need the mare’s hooves smashing his junk before he had offspring.

Thankfully, the two managed to avoid hitting panda targets as they cleared the maze.

“Looks like your motivation helped them avoid being trigger happy,” Zach commented.

“The carnage that I’ve seen here is why I love this show,” Bobby said.

“Too bad, kinda wanted to test the durability of a person’s organs. Oh well, there are plenty of Syndicate that I can use as my test subjects.” Pinkamena shrugged.

“A promise of carnage to come if I ever heard one. That’s all the time we have for today. This has been Zach...”

“And Bobby…”

“And Professor Pinkamena…”

“See you next time.”

After Zach’s final line, the camera stopped filming as the show ended.

“Nice work, Pinkamena. Most guest commentators we get are usually camera shy or trip on their words,” Zach said.

“What can I say? I like to show off.”

Pinkamena bid the announcers farewell as she, Johnny and Playa returned to the hideout to rest after the long day they had.

Meanwhile…

A pair of Decker specialists were dashing through the streets at unbelievable speeds while investigating some dimensional anomaly that appeared in their territory and vanished as quickly as it came.

When they arrived at the scene, they didn’t find anything noteworthy but looked around anyway in case whatever turned up from the anomaly walked off somewhere.

The two split up to cover more ground in hopes of finding something to report to Miller.

One of the specialists investigated a nearby building. Her search bore fruit as she discovered a white unicorn mare with a mane and tail of differing shades of blue. She was wearing sunglasses and had a smirk on her face.

The specialist frowned, wondering what was going through the pony’s mind.

That hesitation cost her her life as a bullet flew into and out of her head.

The other specialist heard the faint sound of gunfire and moved quickly to investigate. The last thing she saw was her partner’s shock hammer floating in midair before it slammed hard into her chest and shattered her ribs. The bone fragments pierced her lungs and heart as she slowly died from internal bleeding.

“Finish her,” a grey pony said.

The white unicorn nodded and brought the hammer down on her head and smashed her skull.

“You know, they could have been good guys,” Vinyl commented. “And didn’t you tell me that you had no ammo in that thing?”

“We know nothing of where we are Vinyl, and I was not going to trust some strange people wearing something I’d have expected you to wear.” Octavia then smirked, “Also, I never tell any potential eavesdroppers that I have a round in the chamber.”

“Aww, you do know what fashion I like, Tavi,” Vinyl cooed.

Octavia shook her head. “Regardless, we need to find someone we can trust. I’ve heard that Discord sent some Equestrians to this world a while back. If they are still alive, I can only hope they are in this city somewhere. For now, we need information and a safe haven. Who knows what dangers exist in this world.”

Vinyl didn’t argue and kept the shock hammer for safekeeping.

Moondancer groaned as she woke up. She felt an unpleasant rocking sensation beneath her hooves. It took her a couple of minutes to stand up to check her bearings. Her lifestyle had not been kind to her. She looked around and discovered that she was in a cabin of what reminded her of a boat. She looked out a window and saw buildings that were similar to if not taller than the ones in Manehattan. She was obviously looking at a city.

As much as she wanted to get off the boat though, a city meant other ponies and she was among the least social ponies out there. She really didn’t want to be near other people right now.

However, that hope was dashed as she noticed a strange looking creature who looked like it was tied up. Moondancer didn’t know enough about the creature to tell whether it was male or female. However, the creature didn’t look responsive. She crept slowly up to the creature and gently tapped her with a hoof.

The creature jolted awake which caused Moondancer to yelp and back away.

“Keep it down in there,” someone from outside the door yelled in a Trottingham accent.

Moondancer didn’t want to risk more annoyances so she remained quiet for a few minutes before curiosity overwhelmed her fears and asked the creature, “What are you?”

Strangely enough, the creature showed no surprise to find that Moondancer could talk, instead she gave the strangest explanation, “Human, Homo Sapien, evolved from primates over thousands of years, developed civilization…”

As fascinating as the female-sounding human’s explanation was, Moondancer was disappointed that she didn’t have paper or a writing utensil on her so she could only commit it to memory. The human eventually introduced herself as Kinzie before she started analyzing Moondancer based on what she was looking at. Some of her analysis was guesswork but most of it was correct. “So what’s your name? Based on that mark on your flank, it has something to do with the moon I’m guessing,” Kinzie finished.

Moondancer nodded and introduced herself before asking where she was as she finally decided to untie the human.

“A barge in the middle of Steelport. Currently, I’m being held captive by the Deckers who have the tackiest fashion sense ever.”

The conversation continued between the awkward human and the awkward pony for some time.

Head of the Hydra

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The first thing Pinkamena did when she woke up the next morning was check her phone to see how much return on investment she received from the few businesses she invested in the other day. She was surprised to see that the amount was decent for how many businesses she owned at this point.

She decided that the Saints needed to claim more of the Downtown area and she was going to start by purchasing ownership of more businesses in Loren Square and Sunset Park. She also knew that she needed to send a message to the Syndicate that the Saints planned to drive them out of the Downtown area.

For that message, she assigned Gilda and Treehugger to work together to hunt down and wipe out any remaining Syndicate activity in Loren Square and Sunset Park.

That day, Pinkamena spent all of her income she received that morning and some of her still substantial savings for purchasing the remaining five businesses in Sunset Park and Loren Square as well as the Joe Cola Factory and Rondini’s Boat Dock. It was not an insignificant expense, but she figured that she would make it all back soon enough.

Gilda and Treehugger reported back from their recon and destroy mission and reported that they had sighted three large groupings of Morningstar in the assigned neighborhoods before Gilda blew up most of the groups with some death from above while Treehugger torched the rest.

Pierce called Pinkamena suddenly and asked her to see him at the Broken Shillelagh. He didn’t give any details over the phone except that he mentioned that he saw something weird. Pinkamena figured it might be a delicate matter so she simply ended the call and headed to the Irish pub.

She saw the lieutenant not far from the entrance inside the pub, playing darts. She approached the Saint, “Alright Pierce, what did you want to tell me?”

Pierce motioned for her to keep her voice down before having her sit at a table with her. Once situated, Pierce spoke to her softly, “Is it normal for you ponies to have horns on your foreheads?”

Pinkamena wasn’t sure why Pierce was being discreet, but she decided to humor him. “Only if they’re unicorns, why?”

“Because there’s a pony with a horn on their head at the back of the pub asking strangers for information about the city.”

That got Pinkamena’s full attention. The only other pony she knew in this world was Treehugger and she was an earth pony. “Aside from the horn, what did they look like?”

“Well, the pony’s white with blue hair and they’re wearing sunglasses.”

“I see, I’ll go talk to them. Anything else?”

“Not much. The boss was in here earlier and he wanted to go after Loren. I still think he’s holed up in that big ass skyscraper in Henry Steel Mills but he’s thinkin’ about hittin’ up that designer gun store downtown called Powder. The Morningstar have been talking to the owner so there’s gotta be something there. Still, the boss might think Loren would be too smart to hole up in a cliche but I think he might be overestimating Loren.”

“We’ll check the skyscraper after we clear out Powder. For now, I have a pony to meet.”

Pinkamena left the table and headed deeper into the bar to find the pony that Pierce was talking about. After a few minutes of searching the crowded bar, she found the pony in question.

“Hey, isn’t that…” Pinkie started.

“I can’t help but wonder what goes through that chimaera’s head by sending all these ponies to this world,” Pinkamena mused.

The patron who was sitting with the unicorn left the table quickly when she sat with them. In fact, the patrons had been giving the mare a wide berth. At the same time, the patrons who saw Pinkamena stared at her with mixed expressions ranging from wariness to starstruck.

The madmare made her way through the crowd and sat at the table where the unicorn sat.

Vinyl looked at the mare for a moment and narrowed her eyes, “You look familiar; you look like Pinkie but you remind me of somepony I met a long time ago.”

Pinkamena smirked, “Vinyl Scratch, it’s been a long time. I’d say nearly twenty, taking into account my time here and the time my presence was lost to the Equestrian nightclubs.”

Vinyl’s eyes widened as the memories came flooding back, “No way, you’re my very first fan from when I was just starting out as a DJ. I never did get your name. I just thought you up and disappeared when you stopped coming to my gigs.”

Pinkamena giggled, “You always did have great taste in music. Truth be told, I ended up spending ten years locked up in Pinkie’s head. Name’s Pinkamena by the way.”

“So that was you going around planning parties throughout Ponyville. Hard to recognize you with the curled mane.”

“Well, that kinda was but kinda wasn’t me. So what are you doing in this world?”

“Take a wild guess.”

“I knew, though I can’t help but wonder why.”

“No idea, might have something to do with my ability to adapt to a high tech society and Tavi’s history.”

Pinkamena blinked. “Wait, what? Octavia’s here too?”

“Yeah, she and I got separated while we’ve been looking for info. Since you’re here, I’m hoping I hit the jackpot.”

Pinkamena giggled again before giving her the summary of the situation as well as information about where they were.

“So basically, you’re working with some criminal group called the Saints and you’re working to take down an organized criminal organization that owns this city?” Vinyl asked, trying to sum up what she was told.

“Pretty much, so you know where Octavia is?”

“No clue.”

“I guess she’ll turn up eventually. So what are you gonna do?”

“Guess I’ll help the Saints out. Since they know you, they gotta be pretty cool.”

Pinkamena knew enough about the DJ to know that she often went with the flow in an uncertain situation. Plus, a familiar face probably helped influence her decision.

With the DJ’s decision made, Pinkamena introduced Vinyl to Pierce who took her back to the hideout to get her situated before Playa, Pierce, Shaundi, Johnny, Pinkamena, Treehugger and Gilda headed to Powder to find information on Loren’s whereabouts, even though Pierce and Pinkamena were pretty sure the Syndicate leader was in the tower in Henry Steel Mills.

At the designer gun store, Pierce figured that the front entrance would be a bad idea since a gun store owned by the Morningstar would be loaded with many well armed guards so they decided to head into the back.

While they only saw two guards in the back, Pierce was more concerned with the people inside the back entrance.

Johnny made the decision for the group as he shot the two guards and set the whole place on high alert. “It was gonna happen anyway, so let’s get in there,”

The entire group charged in and started shooting up the place, killing every Morningstar in sight. Treehugger had to stick to her pistol for self defense since there was too much risk of setting the whole place on fire if they weren’t careful. Gilda had to fight in limited space so she mainly used her SMGs and her nanite claws when enemies got close.

Things became slightly troublesome when an armored brute entered the besieged storeroom carrying a large mini-gun. However, before the large enemy could start shooting, a sniper round pierced his skull and sent him collapsing to the floor.

“Nice shot, Pinkamena,” Playa said.

Pinkamena blinked, “That wasn’t me, that came from the upper floor near the manager’s office.”

Pinkamena ran ahead of the group and up the stairs and onto the catwalk while hacking and slashing her way through more Morningstar with her Vorpal Blade. Upon reaching the office, she found herself staring down the barrel of a sniper rifle held by the pony she recognized as Octavia.

“We meet at last, Pinkamena Diane Pie,” Octavia said.

“How do you know about me?” Pinkamena asked.

“The agency I used to work for has files on all ponies, including you.”

Pinkamena raised an eyebrow, “Agency?”

Octavia pulled her rifle away from Pinkamena before turning to the computer on the manager’s desk. “If you don’t plan to kill me then I can explain later. If you’re not with those in the red and black, then can you assist me in this task? I’ve nearly finished downloading the information from this terminal but I’m out of ammunition. If you have some in your mane somewhere, it would be greatly appreciated.”

Pinkamena didn’t have time to chat with Morningstar snipers entering the storage so she reached into her mane and tossed Octavia a few magazines of sniper rifle ammunition. The assassin mare skillfully collected one and slammed it into her rifle and pulled the lever on the rifle. Now fully loaded, Octavia began delivering headshots to the Morningstar snipers in quick succession.

A signal from the terminal informed Octavia that the information was collected. Pinkamena yelled for the other Saints to retreat since they had the information they came for. The Saints returned to the headquarters with Octavia in tow.

“You wanna tell me what you were doing there of all places?” Pinkamena asked the former agent.

“What anypony would do when they are in a new world and lacking information, I simply used my skills to gain information that I could not obtain from the streets,” Octavia said calmly.

“Okay, you have your info now. What’s next for you?”

“Originally, I was going to find someone who might have the best chance of sending me and Vinyl home, though it would appear from the data that the natives of this world have not discovered the concept of dimensional travel. Discord mentioned that there was a way back to Equus without his intervention.”

Pinkamena snorted, “Well, good luck finding the way back then.”

Octavia tilted her head in confusion, “You do not want to go back?”

“Why should I? Nothing but a life imprisonment awaits me there. Celestia would never allow somepony like me to run free. I wish I could send Pinkie back without me, she deserves to be with her friends. Unfortunately, there’s no way to separate our minds from this body.”

“I see. That is truly unfortunate. However, there might be a way to earn favor from Celestia.” Octavia began explaining the growing crisis in Equestria with the threat of a street gang from Detrot sending the city into a state of anarchy. “Perhaps if you were to find some way to bring this gang under control, Princess Celestia would have to grant you a favor for the sake of her public image.”

“It might work, but that’s a concern for the distant future. For now, the Saints have a criminal organization to topple. You’re free to join in. If you want, I can take you to a Friendly Fire store and get you stocked up on weapons and ammo.”

Octavia smiled and nodded, “Thank you for your assistance. Maybe we can pick something up for Vinyl as well, I doubt that the hammer she stole from the...Deckers, you call them...will be enough.”

Pinkamena drove Vinyl and Octavia to the nearest Friendly Fire. The musical duo each purchased a pistol while Octavia purchased an assault rifle as well. Vinyl took a look at the weapons storage at the headquarters and took an interest in the reaper drone controller.

Once the musical duo were properly armed and Pinkamena topped off her ammo, the trio returned to the Saints HQ for the final meeting before pushing against the Syndicate Tower.

The Saints armed themselves with as much as they could carry without encumbering themselves. Once ready, they took two cars to the Syndicate Tower in Henry Steel Mills. One car carried Playa, Pierce, Shaundi and Johnny while the other carried Pinkamena, Treehugger, Vinyl and Octavia.with Gilda flying not far behind.

The Saints entered the tower through a loading dock at the base of the tower. The group was quickly attacked from nearly every side by Morningstar guards. The Saints quickly dispatched the dock guards with Octavia picking off the distant guards.

A brute charged in to attack the Saints and caused the group to change their target. Pinkamena was too busy chopping up the remaining guards so she asked someone to deal with the brute.

“On it,” Vinyl called before she slammed her levitating shock hammer into the brute’s face and sent him flying out of the loading dock. The floating hammer finished the hulking human by splattering his face on the pavement. The hammer returned to Vinyl while bashing an unsuspecting guard on the way.

Vinyl frowned when she noticed the charge on the hammer had run out. She then shrugged and sent it flying at another guard before leaving the weapon to be someone else’s problem.

With the dock cleared, the Saints in charge of delivering the bomb they stole from the military base earlier had arrived. Playa moved to arm the bomb but Octavia moved in his way while holding out a hoof to stop him. “Let us decide the fate of this building after we deal with Loren.”

Playa suddenly realized that he was about to unnecessarily complicate the mission and blushed in embarrassment, “Oh, uh, yeah. Good point.”

Octavia sighed and rolled her eyes before whispering to Pinkamena, “Is he always this reckless?”

“You’d have your answer if you saw him driving down a street filled with traffic. He often draws unnecessary attention with his reckless driving. That should give you an idea about how he is.”

Octavia looked at Playa again and imagined him in such a scenario and cringed.

The elevator ahead of them was too small to fit all of them so Pinkamena had Treehugger and Gilda stay behind to guard the elevator while the rest went to an upper floor of the building.

The elevator ride was cut short as Loren had the elevator stop on a different floor. While killing the Morningstar on that floor, the Saints noticed that the facility was being used to manufacture the brutes they had been seeing. Based on the machinery in the room, the brutes were being bred through cloning which made sense since the brutes looked almost exactly like each other.

Exploring deeper while killing more Morningstar and a brute with a flamethrower whose tanks exploded with a well placed shot by Octavia, they eventually discovered one of the brutes was attached to an odd looking device. The brute was completely naked but Pinkamena and Octavia noticed some actual intelligence in the brute’s eyes unlike the others.

“What the hell is all this?” Playa asked.

“Phillipe likes his thing custom-made--and for his brutes, I am the master pattern, you see,” the brute explained.

“A Stalliongrad accent?” Pinkamena and Octavia thought in unison.

“Why you still strung up if they already cloned your ass?” Pierce asked.

“The copies are flawed. They have my brawn but not my brain. I can help you.”

“The last time a big naked dude said he could help me, it did not end well.”

“How do we know that we can trust you?” Octavia asked.

“You do have a point. I have nothing to prove that I am trustworthy. I do wish to kill Phillipe. I can take you to his office.

“Works for me,” Vinyl said before she started firing her pistol at the equipment. Pinkamena and the other Saints, except Octavia, followed suit.

“Vinyl…” Octavia growled.

“We can argue about it all we want later but we don’t have time for it right now,” Vinyl countered.

When the equipment was destroyed, the brute was released from his bindings, landing with a kneel before he stood upright and walked past the group.

“You want some clothes, man?” Pierce asked.

“No time,” the brute responded. Pierce could only complain about following a big naked man around.

On the way to Loren’s office, the brute finally introduced himself as Oleg Kirrlov. He didn’t elaborate on his career before he was used as cloning material.

The group finally made it to Loren’s office only to find the Syndicate leader fleeing through an elevator that would quickly take him to the ground floor. Playa cursed that he let Loren get away but Pinkamena smirked as she pulled out her phone. “He’s headed your way. Meet me at the appointed location like we planned.”

Pinkamena hung up her phone before moving away from the group and retreating from where the group came from. Octavia, curious about the call, motioned for Vinyl to follow her as they went after Pinkamena.

Pinkamena noticed the two following her before turning her head to look at them. “You two can come watch if you want, but if you do you will see why Discord finds me dangerous.”

Her followers raised an eyebrow at Pinkamena’s cryptic statement. “What do you mean?” Octavia asked.

Pinkamena smirked, “I had Gilda hang back just in case Loren made his escape. She’s good at abducting people who try to be elusive.”

“So this means that she has captured Loren?”

“If everything went according to plan, then yes. If not, she would have either called me by now to tell me she failed or she’d be dead. Guess we’ll find out when we get there.”

Pinkamena, Octavia and Vinyl left Syndicate Tower and drove to a nearby factory. They entered the factory and found who they were hoping to find.

Phillipe Loren was struggling while hung over an industrial sized vat of bubbling chocolate and naked. Treehugger was busy keeping the vat heated while Gilda observed Loren’s struggling from the catwalk. The griffon noticed the trio enter and flew down to greet them.

“Okay, I brought him here like you asked, now what?” Gilda asked.

“Now I deliver my villain gloat before we end him.”

Octavia looked around the area but felt curious about something, “I did not think Steelport had a sweets manufacturing plant.”

“They don’t, I’m just borrowing this vat for my latest project. It took a lot of doing to get all this chocolate made.”

Pinkamena reached the catwalk above the chocolate vat. Loren glared at the madmare before he realized the irony of his fate and gave her a deadpan stare. “Oh I get it, ‘Belgian Chocolate’, very funny.”

“It’s a more delicious way to go than the canon where you become a Belgian Waffle after a hanging fixture drops on you as you exit the elevator.”

“In the end, I still become some Belgian pun.”

“Pretty much.” Pinkamena pulled a lever and lowered Loren into the vat. A few seconds after he began being immersed into the vat was all it took for the molten sweets to reach his skin. Loren screamed in agony as the chocolate seared his flesh. His body continued being lowered into the vat and more of his skin was seared while his screams continued until he was fully immersed into the vat.

Pinkamena waited about ten minutes to make sure the chocolate covered every inch of his body and to be sure Loren drowned in the substance if he didn’t die to the burns. When the ten minutes were up, she raised the winch and adjusted it so that the winch would lower Loren’s chocolate body to the factory floor.

Treehugger hosed Loren down in liquid nitrogen, hardening his body and leaving him ready for the final part of Pinkamena’s execution of Phillipe Loren. She turned to Gilda who was looking at her with curiosity. “Go ahead, try it,” Pinkamena said.

Gilda shrugged before walking over to the frozen hunk of Belgian Chocolate. She started by biting down on the head. One bite from her powerful beak was all it took to shatter Loren’s skull. Gilda’s expression brightened as she began devouring the chocolate person in earnest. “Wow, this chocolate tastes awesome. And the meaty filling is nothing like I’ve tasted before.”

Octavia and Vinyl watched the scene in horror, Vinyl took it better than Octavia did. While Octavia’s face turned green and she looked away with a hoof covering her mouth, Vinyl continued staring. “Whoa, that’s hardcore,” she said.

Gilda couldn’t finish the chocolate statue so she brought it with her back to the hideout where she placed it into a large freezer for later.

At least one pony was going to have nightmares tonight.

Back at the tower, Oleg convinced Playa to save the bomb for another place at another time while the Saints profited from Loren’s assets.

Recruitment Drive

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“I did try to warn you about how dangerous I am,” Pinkamena said while Octavia was mentally calming herself to keep herself from losing her lunch.

The musical assassin spent several minutes regaining her composure while Pinkamena and Vinyl stared at her. The madmare turned to the DJ and raised an eyebrow, “How come you aren’t reacting like her?”

Vinyl looked at Pinkamena for a moment then shrugged.

After a few minutes of restoring her mental fortifications and some breathing exercises, Octavia finally regained her composure. “My apologies, usually I am more desensitized to such acts but I suppose retirement has a way of making one become soft.”

“Huh?” Pinkamena questioned. “I would have thought you would be appalled by what I just did to Loren.”

Octavia merely chuckled softly, “I am not as innocent as you might believe, Pinkamena Diane Pie. I have seen a lot of atrocious things during my career as one of Princess Celestia’s secret agents. You are not as knowledgeable of the world as you think you are. You never even knew that two agents have taken residence in Ponyville...well, one active and one forcibly retired. This is not the first time I have seen somepony killed by chocolate then eaten. One of my assignments was to apprehend a villain calling themselves the Candy Mare who performed a number of candy related slayings. I simply need more time to return to my old mentality.”

Pinkamena narrowed her eyes at the ex agent, “So we’re not gonna have any issues on morality or you questioning how I do things?”

“You have your own style while I have mine. I am no longer an agent so I have no authority to stop you.” Octavia smirked. “Though I might steal your kills on a whim.”

Pinkamena snorted which quickly turned to a burst of laughter before Vinyl and Octavia joined in. Gilda and Treehugger, who had been overhearing the conversation joined in the laughter as well.

Once their fits of laughter ended, the five Equestrians returned to the hideout.

The human Saints were relieved when Oleg finally put some clothes on while the Equestrian Saints couldn’t care less because of their own culture. The large man wore a purple turtleneck with a light purple Saints logo on it, a light gray jacket and light brown pants.

“So what do you think, Oleg? Will the Syndicate still stand now that Loren is dead?” Playa asked.

“Maybe, maybe not. I take it you know about the other leaders of the Syndicate: The DeWynters, Miller and Killbane? They might be able to keep the organization together in Loren’s passing so if we wish to end the Syndicate once and for all, those four need to be dealt with.”

“Any suggestions on where to start?”

“No, but I know of a few who might be able to help; others who hate the Syndicate as much as you do. I will take you to them.”

“I just remembered something!” Pinkie said suddenly before taking over her body, the change briefly confused Oleg before Playa assured him that that was normal for her.

Pinkie pulled out what looked like a sort of detonator from her mane. “Since we’re moving here, I need to get rid of our old room in Stilwater. Can’t have people stealing my secrets.”

“PINKIE! NO!” Pinkamena screamed.

*press*

“You idiot! That bomb was on a faultline!”

“Oh, Woopsie...”

For those times that Pinkie set up her room in new places that were not Sugarcube Corner, she also set up a bomb in her room to be detonated whenever she moved away.

To ensure that prying eyes would not steal her party secrets, she set things up so that every file and all of her decorations would be destroyed as she set herself up in a new home.

The explosion that was triggered from the distant detonator did its work but the shockwave from the blast also triggered a chain reaction against the faultline that was responsible for an earthquake that sank much of Stilwater decades ago.

The shock triggered another powerful earthquake that shook the entire city. The worst part happened when thirty percent of the city broke from the landmass and sank into the sea.

Carlos, Lin and Donnie looked on at the devastation that occurred while also thankful that none of them lived in the sections that sank into the depths.

The same blast also caused a bridge that was dedicated to the late Alderman Richard Hughes to collapse.

Monica Hughes, who rose through the political ranks from Mayor of Stilwater to a United States Senator, called for an investigation into the quake. All the investigators knew was that a bomb was triggered on the faultline. Monica could only guess that the Saints had something to do with the bomb and decided that it was time for an emergency session on Capitol Hill.

“That better not come back to bite us or I will find some way to get our sisters together and give you such an earful,” Pinkamena scolded.

The Saints turned on the news and saw the headline about what just happened in Stilwater. They turned and glared at Pinkie before her ears drooped and she retreated, leaving Pinkamena back in control of the body again.

“What happened?” Playa asked.

“I’ll explain later,” Pinkamena said. “About those people...”

According to Oleg, the first one they should find was an ex FBI agent named Kinzie Kensington. From what he knew, she was being held on a barge by the Deckers.

Playa, Pierce, Shaundi, Johnny and the Equestrians met at a dock near where the barge’s last known location was. The boat was a tight fit for the eight non-winged people but Octavia has worked in worse conditions. During the boat’s short trip to the barge, she sniped several Deckers riding jet skis before shooting those who forgot they could use the shipping containers on the barge as cover.

The moment the boat made contact with the barge was the moment Pinkamena charged in and started painting the barge red in Decker blood with her Vorpal Blade.

“What the hell these guys wearin’?” Pierce asked.

“Neo-cyber punk, these guys are way behind the times,” Playa commented.

“Hey, we never had this trend in Equestria before. These guys look cool so don’t ruin this for me,” Vinyl complained.

“Vinyl, if I catch you wearing that, we are sleeping in separate bedrooms until you get over the fad,” Octavia warned.

Vinyl mock pouted, “You’re just jealous that I could rock the style better than anypony.”

“See what you started, Pierce?” Shaundi complained.

“I didn’t start nothin’.”

“Since when did everyone become so easygoin’?” Johnny wondered.

The Deckers were cleared from the barge within a minute. It didn’t take long to locate Kinzie on the ship’s bridge.

Pinkamena was the first to enter but the moment she did, her Pinkie Sense went off and she quickly reacted by moving her Vorpal Blade in the direction her senses were telling her. Her counterattack stopped the moment she noticed that she was looking at another pony.

This pony was a unicorn with a yellowish gray coat with a red mane and purple stripes tied up and wore a sweater and taped glasses.

Pinkamena noticed that her horn was glowing and a nearby pipe was floating next to her. The mare looked very scared, that the slightest disturbance in the atmosphere would cause her to lash out.

“Hey Mena, did you find Kinz-OOOOOOOOGH...” Playa chose the worst time to barge into the room as the mare in front of Pinkamena yelped and launched her pipe at the doorway…

...and impacted against Playa’s groin.

While Playa collapsed on the floor and curled up for a moment, Pinkamena couldn’t help but laugh helplessly at the situation.

“Hey Mena, you in there?” Johnny called from outside.

“I’m here. Don’t come in here until I’ve defused the situation,” Pinkamena called out.

“What happened to him?” he asked, looking at Playa.

“The reason I need you to wait out there.” Pinkamena then turned her attention to the unicorn. Of all the ponies she met in this world so far, this was one she didn’t recognize which meant that she never visited Ponyville in her life.

Her attention was split between the new pony and the red-haired human with the jacket that said FBI. Pinkamena quickly figured that the other person was Kinzie, given the info.

Kinzie looked impassive: conflicted whether she should be afraid of the pony who looked like a killer, or overjoyed that someone came to rescue her. There was another emotion warring with the other two, one she hid well and one she would never show to another human being and she didn’t want the nearby people to know about it.

Pinkamena finally spoke, addressing Kinzie first, “Okay, I know you’re Kinzie,” she then turned to the other pony, “...but I have no idea who you are.”

The mare frowned deeply, “Tch. Of course she wouldn’t mention her old school friends. You are one of Twilight’s friends, right?” She made the venom in her voice toward one of Pinkie’s friends as obvious as possible. She sighed, trying to calm herself down. “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t be lashing out at ponies who have nothing to do with my problems with her. It’s been years yet the wound still feels fresh in my mind. I’m Moondancer.”

Pinkamena stared at Moondancer for a moment before she spoke, “First, let’s get some facts straight. I’m not Twilight’s friend. You may be referring to Pinkie Pie. She and I share the same body but our minds are still independent of one another. Also, you’re not the only pony with issues. I’ve got issues and so does every Celestia damned pony who ended up in this Celestia forsaken world. I don’t give a damn about your problems with Twilight and I don’t give a damn about what you do after we get Kinzie off this boat. You’re free to come along if you want, but I’m not gonna lie, this city will break you if you aren’t willing to do whatever it takes to survive, even if you have to murder and steal. Whatever you choose to do from now on is all on you.”

Moondancer was taken aback by Pinkamena’s honesty. While her screaming social anxiety and the rumors she heard about her back in Equestria told her to stay far away from her, she was also intrigued with the mare. Unlike her other schoolmates who kept butting into her life and tried to get her to leave her house and forget about Twilight, the mare in front of her didn't display a single ounce of pity and seemed willing to let her choose how she would proceed. Given that her options were to either face the dangers of the city or stay on a boat that likely had no supplies for her to use, there really was only one option.

“I’ll go with you,” Moondancer said with as much certainty as she could muster.

“Are you finished in there? We don’t have all night,” Shaundi called.

“We’re okay now,” Pinkamena responded. She turned to Kinzie again, “We’re looking for two others who might help us with the Syndicate. You know where they are?”

“Well, the DeWynters are keeping Zimos at Safeword.”

“Safeword?”

“It’s a BDSM club that caters to various acts of perversion. The name comes from wh-”

“Thanks for the explanation. Now can you put the location on my GPS so we can get there before sunrise?”

“Mine’s ‘Tea Cup’” Kinzie mumbled as she programmed the coordinates. “The other one will take some time to locate. I’ll call when I have a location.”

“I’ll get these two outta here,” Shaundi said. “Have fun at the gimp show.”

Playa finally managed to get up after his painful experience and the group returned to the speedboat. Shaundi, Kinzie and Moondancer split from the group while the others headed to New Colvin where the BDSM club was located.

After killing the few Morningstar guarding the club and interrogating the masochistic guests, some of which made Pinkamena feel tempted to torture, the Saints located Zimos hitched to a pony cart. With more Morningstar on the way, there was no time to free the pimp dressed like a gimp so Playa and Pierce entered the seat of the pony cart and had Zimos carry them away.

Pinkamena noticed several Morningstar entering other pony carts to start one of the most ridiculous chases she had ever seen. She really did not want to see that so she pulled out her pistol and shot the gimps pulling the carts.

The weirdest thing happened when she shot the gimps, the whole cart exploded. “What the Tartarus am I looking at?” Pinkamena asked Pinkie, grasping for any kind of explanation for the illogical thing that just happened.

“Well duh Mena, they’re vehicles. Vehicles explode when you shoot them up. You’ve done this many times before, remember?”

“So basically, chalk it up to Pinkie logic and just accept that exploding pony carts are a thing.”

“Yupperoonie.”

The rest of the Saints caught up with Playa, Pierce and Zimos, the former two feeling like a thousand showers will never help them feel clean after what they just saw. Zimos took the ball gag out of his mouth as Playa addressed him, “Sorry about making you, ya know...pull us around.”

“This is a rescue, right?” Zimos asked. “This ain’t some elaborate set up for a gang bang?”

“Why you gotta put that image in my head, bro?” Pierce complained.

“Cool, autotune voice. I gotta get me something like that,” Vinyl commented. Octavia rolled her eyes in response.

Zimos continued, “I’ll go with rescue then. I’d shake your hand, but these floors are a little sticky if you know what I’m sayin’.”

“I’m good. Find a moist towelette or somethin’,” Playa responded.

Kinzie called Playa to inform him of the last person to find.

“His name’s Angel De LaMuerte, he was Killbane’s tag team partner until he went crazy.”

“Which one went crazy?”

“I should probably look into that. The point is: Angel hates Killbane more than you do...he should be willing to help.”

“That’s good. Where is he?”

“That’s the tricky part...the Luchadores are attacking him at the gym in Bridgeport on Carver Island, you should probably hurry there before he gets killed.”

“You really need to work on your priorities.”

“It’s on my to do list,” Kinzie countered. “I’d suggest letting Pinkie drive you there so you can arrive in time before Angel gets killed.”

“How do you know about my-”

“Less talking on the phone, more pony who is a far better driver than you driving you there.” Kinzie ended the call, leaving Playa to just accept what she said and let Pinkie drive. However, by the time the call ended, Pinkamena and the other ponies and griffon were long gone.

Playa called Kinzie again to tell her that the ponies left without him.

“Maybe if you hadn’t spent so much time on the phone you would be riding with her,” Kinzie commented.

After a long drive to the other end of Steelport, the Equestrians arrived at the gym to find a large number of Luchadores outside. Wasting no time, the group left the vehicle and entered the fray. Pinkamena used her Vorpal blade to slice up any nearby Luchadores while Octavia delivered headshots to the distant targets. Treehugger set fire to Luchadores who grouped together while Gilda blew up Luchador vehicles with her RPG from above, the explosions decimating the Luchadores near them. Vinyl hid nearby and used a reaper drone to unleash death from above while making sure to avoid hitting her friends.

The brute who accompanied them was quickly decapitated by Pinkamena.

Oleg arrived shortly after the brute’s death. “I’m not too late to the party, am I?” he asked. “Where are the other Saints?”

“They’ll be here eventually. Let’s get inside and meet this Angel De LaMuerte,” Pinkamena said.

The group entered the building and saw Angel practicing his moves on a training dummy. He quickly took notice of the group but focused his gaze on Oleg, “You’re not one of Loren’s brutes.”

“And you are not one of Killbane’s Luchadores…” Oleg countered.

Just as Oleg said that, many Luchadores entered the gym.

While Oleg wanted to deal with the brute among them, Pinkamena had Oleg focus on the others while she dealt with his clone.

Pinkamena charged the brute and slammed her hoof into his groin to stun him before she jumped up and punched him hard in the right kidney, sending him flying into a group of Luchadores. The madmare took advantage of their stunned state to move in and slice them up with her Vorpal Blade.

A brute with a mini-gun was seen above on the second floor but Gilda moved in and cut the weapon in half with her nanite claws then proceeded to dismember the brute.

Brutes with flamethrowers moved in to burn the place down but Treehugger was ready with some grenades that she planted on their tanks. The blasts destroyed the tanks and the brutes with them.

One of the brutes got lucky and managed to hose Treehugger down with flames before his tank exploded. Everyone looked with worry about their friend when to their surprise, they found that she was fine.

For a few moments, the Equestrians noticed red, glowing stripes on the stoner pony. The stripes were in a configuration not unlike that of a zebra. There were also a number of runes glowing on their friend as the area around her was smoldering.

The runes and stripes eventually faded and Treehugger returned to normal.

Once the moment passed, the group finished off the Luchador raiding party. Pinkamena would address the issue with Treehugger later but had her suspicions about how she was like that.

Later, Playa addressed the Saints with his usual speech, that was somewhat ripped from Julius, while introducing the new lieutenants.

Pinkamena noticed Moondancer hanging out in a corner of the room away from everyone. She made a mental note to help the nerdy pony to overcome her anxiety. She knew there was a lot of potential in the mare and she would find a way to bring it out.

For now, she would focus her attention on the Syndicate.

Pimping with Zimos

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While the Saints were busy preparing themselves to face the three factions of the Syndicate, Pinkamena finally took some time to analyze the new faces, human and pony.

Starting with the humans, her thoughts first turned to Zimos. From what she gathered, the dark skinned man with the autotune voice was a major player in Steelport’s prostitution racket. With the DeWynter sisters competing against him, they decided to make an example of him through humiliation by turning him into a gimp horse. Even in Equestrian terms, that was still a fairly accurate representation since she had known ponies to dress like that.

Kinzie, from seeing her at Playa’s speech, was socially awkward. From what information she could gather, the former FBI agent was a genius with computers and was able to track anyone as long as they had a phone. Thankfully, she couldn’t track Pinkamena’s phone as long as it was in her mane or could if she wanted to be tracked. Kinzie had been through a lot with getting fired then captured by the Deckers and held captive on a barge. The madmare didn’t expect to find another pony with her though.

Then there was Angel De LaMuerte, a former masked wrestler who had his mask taken by Killbane and made to live his life in shame. Apparently, masked wrestlers had some sort of code that placed their own mask on a tall pedestal, metaphorically. Killbane likely had Angel’s mask stowed away somewhere and she was likely going to have to help retrieve it at some point.

Oleg had a surprising balance of brawn and brains, a combination one does not find often. Pinkamena managed to pry a little of Oleg’s past from him and discovered that he was a former KGB agent, the agency which was associated with some country called Russia. Given the accent, Pinkamena figured that the Equestrian parallel to Russia was Stalliongrad.

Moving to the ponies, Pinkamena’s thoughts turned to Vinyl Scratch. She and Vinyl had a bit of a history with each other. Back when she started rebelling against her parents, Pinkamena had the pleasure to visit a nightclub and meet a DJ who was just starting out. Pinkamena had the honor of attending Vinyl’s very first performance. Since then, she had become a fan of Vinyl’s music; the DJ’s very first fan.

From what Pinkamena got to know from the DJ, she was very laid back but wasn’t against having some fun, sometimes at the expense of others. She was also good with electronics. She had a knack for gadgets and that was how she had some of the most advanced DJ equipment in Equestria. If given the chance, Vinyl could probably build some interesting cybernetic weapons.

Octavia Melody was, on the surface, a classical musician who favored the cello. Her concerts were favored by the upper class ponies. What the public didn’t know was her other line of work that she got fired from after one of her coworkers sabotaged her career. In addition to being a gifted musician, Octavia was also a skilled markspony. She mentioned that she had some pegasus in her family and she ended up inheriting eyes that were as sharp as a pegasus sharpshooter. This skill allowed her to be very proficient with a sniper rifle. She racked up quite the kill count during her career.

Moondancer, however, was still an enigma to Pinkamena. All she knew about her was that she was socially awkward and had some bitter feelings toward Twilight for blowing her off during the last birthday party she had years ago. Twilight never even took the time to remember and apologize to her. She was also a graduate student from Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns but never chose a career path for herself since she holed herself in her house for years while studying magic without applying it.

Pinkamena was not about to let the nerdy pony do the same thing here as she did back in Equestria. She preferred to have ponies who were useful to her and she would find a use for Moondancer.

She would start by having Moondancer spend some time with Kinzie, maybe teach the studious mare how to work a computer.

Now, it was time to get back to work. Pinkamena wanted to focus on getting more of Downtown Steelport under Saints control.

Pierce asked Pinkamena if he could borrow Gilda for a time since he got a new shipment of Saints merchandise and he wanted an aerial escort this time. The griffon prepared herself for a long haul of deliveries through all three neighborhoods of the district.

Angel intended to toughen up Playa in preparation for the eventual battle with Killbane but needed to have his toughness tested before he could come up with a training regimen for the Saints leader. He managed to convince Playa to play in traffic all over the Downtown district.

Pinkamena decided to boost her periodic income further by buying ownership of the stores in Henry Steel Mills as well as the Henry Steel Wharf and Pickpocket Pawn Shop.

Once Gilda and Playa were finished with their activities, the Saints would have nearly total control of Downtown Steelport, with Sunset Park already under their full control.

It was now time to focus on the other districts. Pinkamena decided to keep the pressure on the Morningstar by targeting New Colvin and decided that assisting the pimp, Zimos, would come first.

Since Playa was still testing the limits of his pain tolerance, she would need to handle Zimos’ requests herself.

What she wasn’t expecting was Vinyl stopping her from leaving the hideout because she wanted to help her with whatever Zimos needed. Pinkamena shrugged and let her come along.

On the way, Pinkamena asked her some questions to make sure the DJ knew what she was getting into. “First of all, do you even know what a pimp is?”

“Sure, I’ve seen mares pimping their stallions for bits.”

“Around here, think reverse gender role.”

“Really? That doesn’t make sense.”

“It is when the gender ratio is more even.”

“Huh. So we’re helping Zimos with his prostitution operations?”

“Yup. Keep in mind that the prostitutes have no self respect and believe that the only way to get by is to sell their bodies for sex.”

“Yeah I get it, stallions except female.”

“As long as you understand what we have to do, you can think what you want.”

Pinkamena and Vinyl arrived at a car wash in Espina in New Colvin where Zimos lived. The two enter the building to find the pimp resting with a bunch of scantily clad women sleeping around him.

“I see what you mean about reverse gender role,” Vinyl commented.

“I have no idea what you’re talkin’ about,” Zimos said. “What brings you two here?”

“We’re hoping you have a plan to deal with the Morningstar,” Pinkamena explained.

“Of course I do. I know every track the Morningstar are working. We can build up our stable and hurt the DeWynter sisters at the same time.” He pointed out the locations on Pinkamena’s GPS. “Now please go. No offense, but lookin’ at you two reminds me of things I wanna forget.”

The two mares turned around and left. On the way out, Pinkamena smirked as she swished her tail around just to mess with Zimos. The brief expression of discomfort gave the madmare a bit of satisfaction.

“So what now?” Vinyl asked as the two left the building.

“Hijack a vehicle, kill Morningstar and steal their prostitutes.”

The two did just that. Vinyl and Pinkamena gunned down the Morningstar with their SMGs, Pinkamena threatened the prostitutes to get into the car and delivered them to Zimos. This continued as they snagged prostitutes in Camano Place and Rosen Oaks as well.

Zimos exited the building as the last group of hos were dropped off. He quickly jumped into the mares’ car.

“Hey baby, maybe you can help me out,” Zimos said.

“Call me ‘baby’ again and you’ll be eating a dildo made from you,” Pinkamena warned.

“Touchy. Someone needs to get laid. Anyway, I need some help gettin’ my trade going, you know? Gettin’ the word out.”

“What are you suggesting?”

“I got a bunch of advertisements that I need to hand to my distributors. I need you to help me get to them.”

While they were driving Zimos around and killing Morningstar who got in the way, Vinyl didn’t look like she was enjoying the activity. “Please tell me this isn’t what you guys normally do. This is so boring.”

“Usually Playa’s the one who delivers prostitutes while I get Treehugger to drive people around. We got stuck with this because Playa was busy playing in traffic.”

“Well, if we’re stuck doing this, I might as well have some fun.” Vinyl pulled out a device before pointing it at one of the pursuing Morningstar cars. With a single motion, she made one of the cars crash into the other and both to crash into a nearby building.

It didn’t take long for Zimos to distribute his flyers to his distributors as a few were around Rosen Oaks while most were around Espina. While the Morningstar resistance was intense, it was nothing the duo couldn’t handle with Vinyl using her RC device to play bumper cars with the Morningstar.

The last thing on Zimos’ list was that he needed a driver so that his prostitutes could make him money. Just like old times, Pinkamena let Pinkie handle the matter, which confused Vinyl for a moment because she wasn’t used to a pony having two personalities, while the DJ kept the media off their tail. Since Pinkie’s driving had not lost its edge, the pursuing vehicles couldn’t keep up with the party pony. Pinkie kept up the pace while she escorted several of Zimos’ entertainers. Whenever a client wanted someone dead, Vinyl helped by controlling a car and running the target over.

Once the entertainers were finished for the day, Zimos called the duo back to his place to see something.

What they saw when they got there hardly impressed either mare as they stared at the piece of modern art while wondering if there was more to it than seeing Zimos' face in nine different color variations.

"Is there something I'm not seeing?" Pinkamena asked.

"It's a DeWynter original. They made it for me back when our relationship was 'live and let live'."

"I guess the Syndicate put an end to that?"

Zimos silently contemplated the past for a moment. "Take some time to relax and celebrate. Now that I'm back in business, the Morningstar will soon be a memory."

"I'd rather not give them the chance to counterattack, but I have no idea what they're planning. For now, all we can do is take over New Colvin and deal with whatever the DeWynters throw at us."

"You're not afraid that the Deckers or Luchadores might move in while we're finishing off the Morningstar?"

"Without Loren, their teamwork will likely be in shambles. If Killbane has taken control of the Syndicate like I think he has, I doubt the others will be as cooperative as he would like."

"Then we had best take out the sisters before they get their shit together."

"Agreed."

On the way out, Vinyl asked Zimos the question that she had really wanted to ask the pimp since they met.

“Can I get one of those autotune microphones?”

Zimos had one of his bitches pick one out from his collection and gave it to Vinyl who took it in her magic. “Knock yourself out,” he said.

“Sweet!”

Pinkamena rolled her eyes as the two mares left the car wash to continue their campaign against the Morningstar.

The XX Factor

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“Oh come on! Just because I blew up part of Stilwater by accident doesn’t mean what’s coming is my fault,” Pinkie complained.

Pinkamena awoke from her slumber the next morning to find her sister ranting about something. She really didn’t want to deal with her first thing in the morning, but Pinkie was not likely going to shut up until her problem was addressed.

“What are you going on about now?” Pinkamena asked blearily.

“My Pinkie Sense is telling me something is coming to Steelport soon and it’s a doozy. A charley horse in all four of my legs tells me that I had something to do with this.”

Pinkamena slowly woke up and thought clearly enough to know why whatever was coming was her sister’s fault. “Sounds like your actions pissed someone off. When I tell you not to detonate a bomb, there’s a good reason for it. Anyway, do you know when we can expect this doozy?”

“No, all I know is that it will be soon, maybe in the next few days.”

“Well, I guess we can finish taking Downtown Steelport today so we can focus on the other three districts. Channel six wants to film two episodes of Genki today.”

With that, Pinkamena began assigning tasks to her friends. Since Gilda could find nearly anything from above, she was tasked with finding any packages of drugs, cash or Pierce’s sex dolls in Henry Steel Mills. Octavia and Treehugger volunteered to scour the neighborhood for any remaining Morningstar activity.

In the meantime, Pinkamena had a show to commentate, starting with the one in Loren Square.

Playa and Johnny had plenty of fun murdering mascots while being careful of where they shoot because neither of them wanted to feel a hoof slam between their legs, Playa especially as he still felt the pain from when Moondancer hit him with a pipe.

Meanwhile, Pinkamena was watching from the commentator’s booth with Zach and Bobby while mentioning how bad his driving was which made the other two imagine the untold destruction he caused because of it.

Once Johnny and Playa made it to the end of the course, the two of them and Pinkamena hurried to the next course that was set up at Henry Steel Mills.

On the way, the three of them participated in two photo ops that the fans almost got themselves run over for.

The second episode of Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax went about the same as the previous episode except that the brutes were especially aggressive this time as they came with mini-guns and flamethrowers. Playa tasted flames a few times while Johnny was smart enough to not get hit by things easily avoided.

The two contestants reached the end with Playa looking ragged. Pinkamena snapped a photo of the ragged Saints leader for the sake of remembering how much he sucked at avoiding things.

Pinkamena, Johnny and Playa returned to the penthouse to recover while Gilda, Treehugger and Octavia returned shortly after to report their findings, Gilda only found a money pallet and a box of sex dolls in Henry Steel Mills while Octavia and Treehugger reported eliminating three gang operations in the same neighborhood.

With that, the Saints had fully wrested Downtown Steelport from the Syndicate. Pierce decided to celebrate the achievement by throwing a party at the crib later. Meanwhile, he decided to take some time to study for some trivia contest at the Broken Shillelagh. The subject was eighties sitcoms.

However, while one district was fully conquered, three more remained. Pinkamena estimated that the Saints had taken about a third of the city at this point in total.

Since there was time before Pierce and Zimos started the party, Pinkamena decided she and her crew would get some progress made on taking New Colvin. While she wanted to get Moondancer into the field at some point, she knew that such a task would not be easy.

She would need to find a way to encourage her to get out of her shell.

For now, Pinkamena had assignments to give. This time the search area was limited to Espina and Rosen Oaks. Gilda was once again given the task to locate more of the Morningstar plane cargo while the others accompanied her to the various stores and properties in the designated area, stopping to eliminate groups of Morningstar as they went.

Espina, being a small neighborhood, was easy to fully take over. While the group took out two groups of Morningstar, Pinkamena bought a tattoo parlor and a service station. Pinkamena was forced to take part in two more photo ops which really tried her patience and Gilda located a drug package in the neighborhood.

Rosen Oaks wasn’t any more exciting than Espina. While she didn’t mind the increase to her cash flow, the act of buying the stores and properties in the larger neighborhood had left her extremely bored and on edge toward the end. Slicing and dicing the four gang operations there did help to relieve the boredom a tiny bit, but she needed something more interesting than the daily grind. The two photo ops only made her boredom worse.

Once Gilda reported marking one drug package, one money pallet, and two boxes of sex dolls, the Equestrians returned to the penthouse.

Pinkamena was bored and whenever she was bored, horror scenarios happened. Such an instance occurred during the party that Pierce and Zimos planned in their crib as they invited a number of prostitutes to make their party fun.

Shaundi had no interest in partying so she just walked off to an area with few people. Pinkamena joined her. The two hardly spoke for a few minutes before Shaundi snapped at the madmare, “What does Johnny even see in you?”

Pinkamena turned her head to the lieutenant and tilted her head. “What are you talking about?”

“You know what I mean. I heard it from Aisha years ago before she left Stilwater. She told me Johnny has feelings for you but neither of you have made a move on each other. Why haven’t either of you tried anything when you two have known each other for years?”

“That’s what you’re upset about? I don’t feel that way about Johnny. It may seem that way but that’s because he has a fetish for murder and my way of slaughtering people simply tickles his fetish. He has told me that he was interested in fucking me, but I have no interest in cross-species sex. I do take blame for Johnny’s and Aisha’s relationship falling apart though. Sex between them got awkward as he imagined me on a killing spree.”

“Huh. So, if someone were…”

“I already know where this is going. I’ve seen it before. You’re interested in him, right?” Shaundi nodded hesitantly. “Johnny seems to have a thing for badasses, so prove to him that you’re a far cry from the helpless stoner who ended up a hostage to some feeble and flammable DJ.”

Shaundi covered her face in embarrassment. “Do you have to bring that up?”

“Yep. Now, if you’ll excuse me, one of two things are going to happen tonight. Either this party goes off without a hitch or the penthouse becomes another of my bloody horror scenes.”

Pinkamena left Shaundi to think while pulling one of the hookers away from the main party to address her.

“Listen, I know what’s about to happen and right now, I’m hoping you try because I’m very bored. But if you decide to call off the attack, I’ll just go on being bored but if you choose to continue, I’ll unleash the knightmare.”

“That’s cute, sweetie,” The hooker said before pulling out an assault rifle. “But we’re here to send a message from the DeWynter sisters.” She attempted to aim her rifle at Pinkamena, only for the mare to disappear. She knew nothing a moment later as her skull and brain splattered against the wall by a hobby horse constructed of bone and the head looked like a unicorn skull with white antlers wielded by a psychotic pink mare with her trademark evil smile.

The other hookers reacted by drawing their own hidden weapons. The Saints noticed this and prepared for battle. “OH SHIT! These hos ain’t hos,” Pierce screamed.

It was then that the lights went out. While the hookers used night vision goggles to see in the dark, it only caused pandemonium to spread among them as a pony moved at blinding speeds, bashing each hooker one by one. Each impact shattered bones and drilled holes in the bodies of the prostitute assassins.

Pinkamena called to her allies, “Octavia, Gilda, make sure we don’t have any unwanted guests outside.” Pinkamena continued her slaughter. The Saints near her became nauseated with each impact as they left a crunching sound or a squelching sound, often both.

Octavia and Gilda worked together to eliminate the snipers on the nearby rooftops before turning their attention to the Morningstar attack helicopters. Octavia shot the pilots while Gilda slashed through the metal of the vehicles.

When the lights came back on in the crib, many of the Saints were horrified when they saw their penthouse painted in blood with bone fragments, and viscera splattered all over the place.”

“Did you have to make such a mess, Mena?” Playa asked.

“Blame Pierce and Zimos for not checking their credentials,” Pinkamena countered.

“Good point. Pierce, Zimos, you two are headed to the store and buying the cleaning supplies.” The two of them groaned. “The rest of us are cleaning this mess up, Pierce and Zimos included when they get back .” The sound of groaning could be heard for several floors beneath the penthouse.

The next day, after a vigorous night of cleaning the scent of death from the penthouse, the Saints took some time to watch the television which was broadcasting some breaking news.

Monica Hughes, former mayor of Stilwater, now a US Senator, made a special announcement about the explosion that sank part of the city and nobody took the credit for it. She announced the STAG Initiative that would take back the streets of America.

“What the hell is the ‘STAG Initiative’?” Playa asked.

“If it’s free porn for everyone - I’m down,” Zimos said.

Pinkamena sighed in disbelief at the ignorance of her leader and his lieutenant. “Think about the context you two. It’s coming from the US Senate, which means that it’s something a bunch of uptight assholes would come up with. No way would that be free porn. If they intend to ‘take back the streets of America’, it’s going to be through a show of military force.”

Playa and Zimos stared blankly at the mare for a few seconds like a deer in headlights. “Meaning?”

Pinkamena facehoofed. “These two cannot be this dense. Sometimes I wonder if I should just take the leadership of the gang for everyone’s sake,” she thought to herself.

“It means that Steelport is about to have some company; the kind that is going to seriously complicate our efforts against the Syndicate. The STAG Initiative is likely a branch of the US military created to deal with gangs like the Saints.”

“Oh…” Playa and Zimos said in unison. Playa continued, “Anyway, we’ll deal with STAG when they come. For now, we need to make the Morningstar pay for the trouble they sent our way.”

“I agree, and I know just the way.” Zimos presented Playa with an invitation to a Morningstar auction at Safeword. “That’s an invitation to kick the Morningstar right in their collective pussy. They’re having an auction tonight. Flash the card, and you’re in.”

“So what, I pretend to be an eccentric millionaire?”

“Kind of. I’m gonna auction you off as a sex slave.”

“Fuck. That.”

“Oh, quit being a bitch and come with me to my van. If you’re feelin’ nervous about this whole thing, Treehugger has just the thing to help take the edge off.”

Playa woke up completely inebriated and naked. He was inside a room in the BDSM club. As he tried to stand up, the room spun around him and he fell to the floor. He tried to get up several times while vomiting twice in the effort.

When he finally managed to stand up. The only door in the room opened to show Zimos and Pinkamena on the other side.

“Oh hey Shaundi, why do you taste like fuzzy?” Playa asked.

Zimos stared at Pinkamena, “Damn girl, how much did your friend give him?”

“Not much, I told you he’s a lightweight.”

“Johnny? Weren’t you supposed to be in candyland licking clothes?” Playa asked.

“Good thing we went with your plan in the end. Rushing in and killing every Morningstar inside was a simple but effective plan. But why did we go through with drugging him in the first place?” Zimos asked.

“Because intoxicated Playa is hilarious.”

Zimos shook his head, “Anyway, now that the place is ours, we should get a crew in to secure it.”

“Pierce, what did I tell you about fucking that zombie…”

Playa passed out again.

While Playa was busy recovering from his intoxication at the penthouse and fully clothed again, Pinkamena considered what their next move against the Morningstar was going to be.

While Zimos had a few ideas on how to do so, a mysterious phone call to Pinkamena caused a change in their plans. “Who is this?”

“Viola DeWynter. If you want to hurt the Morningstar, they have a shipment of girls coming in soon. I’ve sent you the boat information.”

“Wait, Viola? If you’re so desperate as to sabotage your own gang, Killbane must have really pissed you off. Also, why call me instead of Playa?”

“Because you’re the more competent of the two of you. As for why I’m doing this…” There was a long pause. Pinkamena could hear faint sniffles from Viola. If she was crying over the reason there was one very likely reason…

“He killed your sister, didn’t he?”

Viola gasped but said nothing as she ended the call.

Zimos walked over to Pinkamena after the call ended. “Who was that?” he asked.

“Viola just gave away a vital shipment of girls in an act of spite against Killbane who I can only assume killed Kiki. Worst part of this is that Killbane ruined my plans for a project I had in mind when we captured the twins. It was going to be amazing too.”

“Well, at least we can seriously hurt the Morningstar by stealing their bitches.”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s just get this over with.”

Pinkamena, Octavia, Vinyl, Treehugger, Gilda and Zimos travelled to the ship transporting the women who were being held in shipping containers.

The Morningstar didn’t see them coming which gave Pinkamena a chance to take out as many of them as she could with stealth tactics. Once she was finally discovered, heads started exploding when sniper rounds met their skulls.

One of the brutes on board was lifted into the air by magic and spun around while flames roasted him evenly.

The other brute, who carried a mini-gun, had his neck snapped by a pair of talons before the griffon responsible decided to pick up the mini-gun.

Once the boat was cleared, the Equestrians opened the shipping containers to find weapons, girls who were directed to Zimos, and a number of sex gadgets that raised a few eyebrows.

Pierce warned everyone about a number of Morningstar headed their way.

Pinkamena tossed a number of her party charges into the water while Gilda flew ahead to spray the Morningstar in mini-gun fire. Vinyl used the Reaper Drones to assist the griffon in demolishing the water and aircraft. Boats that got too close ended up blown into the air and the passengers ejected. The survivors of the blasts ended up sniped.

Once the incoming defenders of the shipment were routed, Pierce flew in with a cargo helicopter while the girls were herded into one of the shipping containers. Another helicopter showed up to help Zimos and the land-bound Equestrians provide support as Pierce transported the container into the city.

Vinyl used her RC controller to cause pursuing boats to crash into the land while Octavia, Pinkamena and Gilda used rocket launchers or, in Octavia’s case, sniper rifle to deal with Morningstar specialists who landed on the roof of tall buildings.

Pierce eventually landed the transport and the Saints moved the girls into a delivery truck. Zimos took the wheel and drove the girls back to Saints HQ.

Meanwhile at Saints HQ, Playa’s phone rang with a mysterious caller on the other line. The hungover Saints leader groggily picked up the phone to answer. “What do you want?”

“You have something that belongs to me…”

“I have a lot of things, but you being cryptic ain’t narrowing it down.”

“Bring the girls back to the Morningstar and I’ll pay you top dollar a head.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t know about any girls and I have no idea who you are. If you’re trying to sell me something, it ain’t working.”

Playa ended the call and went back to sleep.

Military Occupation

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The televised broadcast said it all: STAG was to be deployed to Steelport. Pinkamena knew that the situation was about to become extremely complicated. The presence of the paramilitary organization was going to put a lot of pressure on the Saints and the Syndicate. Unfortunately, she didn’t know what STAG was capable of and would have to endure their initial assault before she could come up with a plan on how to deal with them.

For now, there was still time to take more of the city from the Syndicate. With STAG coming to Steelport soon, she would have to step up her efforts to take New Colvin from the Syndicate. If Viola DeWynter was planning to defect to the Saints in the near future, then removing the now leaderless Morningstar from Steelport could be seen as a mercy from the madmare.

Gilda was tasked with searching the entire island of New Colvin for collectibles, a task that was boring the griffon as much as the task of buying stores and properties was boring Pinkamena, who was going to be busy doing just that. Octavia and Treehugger were tasked with hunting down the remaining Morningstar operations while Vinyl got to hijack a tank from the city armory and drive it around while nearly razing all of New Colvin in the process, a task that made the madmare envious. At the same time, she smiled, knowing that the DJ was still the same easygoing filly who went with the flow that she remembered from over ten years ago. At least Octavia hadn’t had much influence on her.

While Vinyl raided the armory, Gilda marked a money pallet in the base to be collected later.

It took several hours along with several instances of Octavia yelling at Vinyl for her recklessness with the tank as she or Treehugger nearly got run over or blasted by the tank more than once. After buying every property and store in New Colvin, including the airport which was very expensive, the Saints had taken over New Colvin.

Pinkamena figured that STAG was already in town and setting up. While she had little time left before the paramilitary organization made their move, she decided to head to Kinzie’s place and see how Moondancer was doing. If the Saints were going to deal with the Deckers, Luchadores and STAG, she was going to be sure that every Equestrian was carrying their weight.

When she entered the ex-FBI’s house, she found Kinzie and Moondancer with their own laptops and each doing their own thing. Kinzie was playing video games while Moondancer was looking up general information on the internet.

While Pinkamena was being nice enough to Moondancer to give her time to recover from her ordeal, it was time to put her to work. “Hey Moondancer, it’s time to go.”

“Uh-huh…” she said blankly.

Pinkamena frowned. She walked over to see what had caught the nerdy mare’s interest. Her eyes widened by what she saw. “Is that…?”

Moondancer reacted quickly by closing the laptop. “D-don’t look over other ponies shoulders.”

Pinkamena rolled her eyes, “Whatever, get up, we need to see if you can be useful to me.”

“W-what? Why? Can’t I be useful as a source of information?”

“Kinzie’s got that handled. We don’t need two hackers.”

“Why do you even need my help? Shouldn’t you already have that covered with the others?”

“Because I’m not going to allow you to become dead weight for us. I’ll find a way to make you earn your place on my team even if I have to pull you out of your comfort zone.”

At that moment, Moondancer began to panic. She began hyperventilating while Pinkamena gave her a paper bag to use.

“Kinziiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeee,” Moondancer howled while Pinkamena dragged her by the tail back to her car.

The computer expert really didn’t care about what was going on but still spent the energy to wave at them without looking in their direction. “Have fun you two.”

Most of the ride to the HQ had been spent in awkward silence. Moondancer didn’t bother looking in Pinkamena’s direction. They were a few minutes away from the HQ when the mare finally spoke, “What could you possibly think that I could contribute to your group? Don’t you guys have a unicorn already?”

“Dunno, how you express your own frustration and bitterness is up to you. Treehugger took what she learned in Zebrica and became a bit of a pyromaniac, Gilda will either blow stuff up with an RPG or tear flesh and metal alike with those nanite claws of hers, Vinyl seems to have taken an interest in gadgets and using technology in destructive ways, Octavia is a sniper with amazing eyesight that would make most pegasi jealous, and I will move in to slice and dice with my knife or smash things with my hobby horse or simply shoot them in the head.”

“How does that help me? I’m not a killer.”

“Then you’re prey. If you wanted to live a normal life, this is the worst place for that. If you know the way back to Equus, you should take it. If not, then you’re stuck with me. Every Equestrian who has come into this world has set a bad example with the humans here. They’ll likely see you as another killer even if you aren’t one.”

Their conversation was cut short as a military vehicle drove up to the madmare’s vehicle and started shooting lasers at them.

“What the fuck?!” Pinkamena exclaimed. “Moondancer, get a shield around us while I get us away from these guys.”

Moondancer did as told and made a shield around the car to protect them from the laser fire. Pinkamena switched out for Pinkie who pushed her curly mane forward as if she were tipping a hat and began driving in ways that would seem impossible to pull off which not only shocked their pursuers but Moondancer as well.

The duo soon arrived at Saints HQ. Moondancer ran for the elevator to the penthouse while Pinkamena took over again and demolished her pursuers with her party cannon before following Moondancer.

Pinkamena saw all of her friends in the penthouse. Each one had their own stories about being attacked by the group that the madmare had warned them about.

Pinkamena called Playa to ask about his status. Apparently, he and Oleg went to meet with Viola DeWynter to discuss her wish to defect to the Saints for the sake of revenge for her sister. During that meeting, STAG paid them a visit and they holed up in a nearby Technically Legal until they managed to slip out. Oleg would be getting back on his own while he was on his way back to HQ with Viola.

Once everyone made it back to the hideout safe, the Saints got together for a meeting. “Pinkamena, you said these guys were coming. Can you elaborate on that? Who the fuck are these guys?” Playa asked.

“If you paid attention to the news, you’d know that the US government sent them. Or does Senator Monica Hughes not mean ‘US government’ anymore? We’re obviously dealing with a paramilitary organization.”

“Since when did the military carry space age weapons?”

“Do I look like a fount of knowledge on human history?” Pinkamena shook her head. “Nevermind, the fact is that we have to deal with these guys now in addition to the remaining Syndicate members.” She then mumbles under her breath, “If she was going to be this problematic, I should have killed Hughes when I had the chance.”

“At any rate, this place might be compromised. We need to clear this place out fast. Pierce, Oleg, get the trucks loaded. Johnny will be with me providing a distraction in order to spread STAG’s forces thin. Everyone else will make sure to protect the convoy.”

While the trucks were getting loaded with the necessary equipment, Playa and Johnny infiltrated one of the STAG bases and hijacked a pair of Vertical Take-Off and Landing jets and proceeded to cause havoc at the various STAG bases.

Meanwhile, STAG did attempt to set up roadblocks to prevent the Saints from escaping, but were unable to withstand the firepower of the Equestrians. Gilda used her aerial agility to avoid retaliation while blowing up STAG vehicles. Vinyl tore through enemies from above with the reaper drones. Octavia took Treehugger’s grenade launcher to deal with groups of enemies; if the stoner wasn’t going to use it, she would. All other enemies were dealt with by Pinkamena’s party cannon.

After the convoy had reached safety and Playa and Johnny had shot down a surveillance aircraft, the Saints unloaded their equipment to the new hideout before returning to the penthouse in order to keep STAG from finding out where the real hideout was.

Pinkamena was bored with keeping an eye on the bread and butter of STAG. Josh Birk was as obnoxious as when he first asked the Saints to help him with his role in his vampire franchise.

Earlier, Pierce informed Playa and Viola about Birk being the face of STAG and suggested kidnapping him. Using costumes from the franchise, Playa and Viola were able to get near the kid and kidnap him. While STAG didn’t like that, the two of them managed to force their way past the soldiers and into a car bound for the HQ.

None of the Equestrians could be involved in the kidnapping because they would have been recognized right away no matter what they were disguised as.

Now, the Equestrians were waiting in the old hideout while waiting for the Saints next move.

Birk was upset that Shaundi was interested in Johnny and not him but got over it and decided to try his luck with Viola who punched his face each time he tried his one liners on her. Pinkamena figured it was better for Viola to have his attention and not her since she might not be able to stop herself from slicing his face off.

Pierce had a plan to lure STAG to their old HQ and decimate their numbers enough to reduce the pressure on the Saints enough that they could resume their efforts against the Syndicate.

Pinkamena, Treehugger, Gilda, Vinyl, Octavia and Moondancer were on the observation deck of the building, preparing for STAG’s assault. Oleg and Pierce had set up a number of car bombs along the streets as a trap for the military forces. A decent arsenal was laid out before the group in the form of rocket launchers and sniper rifles. Octavia made sure to carry as much ammo of the latter as she could. Gilda did the same with the former.

Pierce had run off to get a toy that he felt would be useful while Shaundi aided in the preparations. Johnny, Oleg and Viola joined the Equestrians on the observation deck. Playa had left for the STAG PR Center to get the attention of the paramilitary.

It wasn’t long before Playa was driving back to the building with a paramilitary organization on his tail.

All hell broke loose once Playa arrived as STAG and the Saints unleashed their arsenal on one another, STAG suffering the most casualties because of the traps set for them. Octavia quickly disposed of rooftop snipers while Gilda tore apart the tanks that were causing problems in the streets.

Eventually, Pierce arrived with a device that would really decimate STAG. Gilda carried the lieutenant back to the observation deck where he would give the device to Playa…

Except that Vinyl took it instead because she wanted another gadget to play with. Making some modifications, she was able to rapidly deploy air strikes against the STAG forces in the streets.

The wing of VTOLs that flew in were cut apart by Gilda’s claws.

STAG troops started entering the deck in large numbers which prompted Playa to order everyone to the roof.

Everyone had made it to the elevator except for Pinkamena and Moondancer who became cornered by STAG troops. The unicorn was terrified as the troops aimed their weapons at her before making a move to capture her. Pinkamena was about to interfere when something interesting happened.

“GET AWAY!” Moondancer screamed as she blasted one of the STAG soldiers with a shot from her horn. Before the soldiers could comprehend what happened, Moondancer produced a mana blade from her horn and charged past them, using the blade to cut through their torsos, slicing through armor, flesh and bone. She then picked up numerous weapons and fired them simultaneously at every human she could see.

Moondancer was breathing heavily while her horn was glowing intensely. She looked around frantically for anyone else who wanted to come after her before she was able to calm down.

Her ears soon picked up the sound of hooves clopping nearby. She looked in the direction of the sound to see Pinkamena approaching her while up on her rear hooves while performing a slow clop with her forehooves before they returned to the floor. “Congratulations! You just purged.”

“W-what? I did...I just...I…”

“Save the nervous breakdown for later.” She reached into her mane and pulled out two parachutes before putting one on Moondancer and one on herself. “STAG’s about to fire on the building and we need to get out of here fast.”

Pinkamena dragged Moondancer to an open window before jumping out with her. In a panic, Moondancer pulled on whatever she could on her parachute before the cloth deployed and allowed the two to land safely in the now deserted streets.

With any luck, STAG will back off for a while because it was time to take out the Deckers, saving the Luchadores for last because Killbane pissed her off for ruining her plans for killing Viola and Kiki.

One Pony, Two Marks

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While STAG was busy licking their wounds after the ill-fated assault on the old Saints HQ, the Saints successfully snuck away from the military and made it to their new HQ without being tracked.

Once everyone was safe, Pinkamena had to take care of the one hassle that she hoped not to do often: help somepony overcome their trauma associated with their first kill.

Pinkamena saw Moondancer in a corner staring at a wall. When she moved to see the mare’s face, she saw a dead look in her eyes; typical behavior for a pony who had next to no real world experience and just killed someone for the first time.

At first Pinkamena poked Moondancer in the flank and when that didn’t get a response, she put a hoof to her chin and thought for a moment while looking around.

She saw that their new hideout had a liquor cabinet and it was fully stocked. She walked over to the cabinet and opened it to check out what was available. After a couple of minutes of searching, she decided on a bottle of bourbon and removed it from the cabinet. With a mischievous smirk on her face, she returned to Moondancer with the bottle and removed the cork from the bottle with her teeth. After taking a brief sip to reduce the tension she felt from the last battle, she pried Moondancer’s mouth open before pouring some of the alcohol down her throat.

Moondancer quickly sensed something was wrong when she felt a burning sensation flowing down her throat. She quickly regained her wits and started a fit of sputtering and coughing. While she was instinctively swallowing the liquid, some did go down the wrong way.

Once Moondancer was finished coughing and got her breathing under control, despite her lungs burning, she delivered the fiercest glare she could at the madmare. “What the hay is wrong with you?!” she yelled. “Were you trying to drown me with acid?”

Pinkamena maintained her smirk, “Relax, this stuff won’t kill you…as long as you don’t indulge,” she responded, keeping the last part to herself. “More importantly, do I have your attention now?”

“You did that just to get my attention? Could you not think about more pleasant ways of doing that?”

“Not while you were mentally shut down after what happened. You needed something to distract you from thinking about the STAG members you killed. Besides, it was hilarious to watch your reaction to being made to drink bourbon.”

“You are a sick pony,” Moondancer growled.

“Don’t forget twisted...” Pinkamena added with a singsong tone.

“You make it sound like you’re proud of being like that.”

“Because I am, I enjoy torturing and slaughtering everyone who tries to kill me. With the Saints, I can do as I wish and am encouraged by others for just being me.”

“How can you be fine with the taking of another life? Don’t you care about the lives of others?”

“Oh, I care, the problem is that my enemies don’t care about theirs or they would be staying out of my way. Since they don’t, then I don’t have to care about their lives either. Those STAG people would be trying to kill you or capture you for the purpose of being used in some invasive experiments. Either way, your life would be over if you didn’t fight back.”

“Perhaps, but that doesn’t justify me taking their lives.”

“Why not? They don’t care that you never fought against them. They don’t care that you never killed another living being before then. Humans are known to be xenophobic. Ponies have that trait too if you remember the time when the three tribes were separate. In a way, we live as part of a more complicated version of the food chain. In this world, you’re either predator or prey. The difference between here and Equestria is that you get to choose which one you want to be with regard to the humans. Neither STAG or the Syndicate are going to care about your circumstances. Remember Oleg? The Syndicate kept him bound to a machine against his will for years while they stuck him with needles to use his genetic material to make mindless clones of him. You think they wouldn’t do the same to you?”

At that point, Moondancer’s pupils shrank to pin pricks. The way Pinkamena described the humans made them seem like monsters.

A sigh was heard by both mares from behind them as Octavia approached them. “Pinkamena, you do not need to turn every pony that ends up in this world into a killer. We each have our own reasons for fighting and Miss Moondancer does not need to be a part of that.”

“We can’t afford to be foalsitting ponies in this world, Octavia,” Pinkamena countered. “Our enemies will use whatever means necessary to gain the advantage over us. One time, some pathetic DJ from another gang took Shaundi hostage. Because of that, Me and Treehugger were left in a potentially bad situation. If he had a clear head during the incident, there was no telling what could have happened. Treehugger ended up changing places with Shaundi and made the situation worse for me. If it wasn’t for her particular reaction to drugs, things could have been a lot worse.”

“So you feel concern for your fellow ponies. But that does not explain why you wish to push Miss Moondancer to a path of bloodshed.”

“I’m not taking any chances. If she wishes to fight, then that would be ideal for me. If not, then I would prefer to find the most secure bunker we can find and leave her in there until we deal with the Syndicate and STAG. I am not dealing with another potential hostage situation like the one involving Treehugger.”

“Girls?” Moondancer tried to interject.

Octavia ignored Moondancer’s interjection, “You still cannot force another pony to commit acts of murder. I am also against the idea of sealing her away in a bunker. There has to be another way we can protect her without resorting to more bloodshed or the equivalent to throwing her into a dungeon for her own safety.”

“Girls!” Moondancer tried again but was still ignored.

“So what do you propose? Have Gilda act as a bodyguard? Maybe you would prefer to keep watch on her day and night while the rest of us push the Syndicate and STAG out of Steelport?”

It was at this point that Moondancer’s patience had reached its limit and she abandoned any reservations she might have had, “Would you two shut the buck up and let me decide how the buck I want to live my life?”

Pinkamena and Octavia turned to finally acknowledge the nerdy mare. Pinkamena spoke in response, “Alright, so how do you want to go about this?”

Moondancer paused for a moment before taking a deep breath and began. “I’ll admit that I still don’t find the idea of killing to be the appropriate solution for any situation, but if what Pinkamena said about these humans is right then we don’t have much of a choice. I admit that I’ve lived a sheltered life, looking away from the dark reality that lurks beneath Princess Celestia’s utopia. In the short time that I’ve browsed an amazing human invention, the internet as they called it, I’ve learned about some deplorable things that these humans can do and it made me wonder if ponies can do those kinds of things too. If so, then are we any different from the humans? Would pony society be more like human society without Princess Celestia?

“My answer to that came when I looked up some old criminal cases that Kinzie showed me and compared them to the images on the Professor Genki website. The images were of some of Pinkamena’s victims.”

“What?” Pinkamena shouted in surprise. “How did those guys get their hands on the pictures of some of my old projects?”

Moondancer ignored Pinkamena’s outburst, “Pinkamena is right, if we’re going to survive long enough to make it home, we can’t afford to be passive when we’re in the middle of a city filled with humans who want to kill us. But at the same time, while I do appreciate you trying to motivate me to fight for my own survival, I need time to process what I did and find my own purpose if I’m going to be part of this team.”

Octavia looked at Moondancer with concern, “Moondancer, you do not have to be a part of this if you do not want to.”

“But I do want to be a part of the team. Back in Canterlot, I had Minuette, Lemon Hearts and Twinkleshine trying to get me to leave my house to hang out with them. But they never gave me what I needed. Ever since Twilight snubbed me at my own birthday party years ago, I gave up any hope of making a difference in any pony’s life. I tried hard to get Twilight to acknowledge me as her friend but all she cared about were her studies. It hurt worse when she left Canterlot and found some new friends while she forgot about the rest of us. Pinkamena’s failure to recognize me when we met was a confirmation of my fears.

“The reason I want to join your group is not for something like having a chance to kill people without severe consequence, not for the sake of survival, not for the whole predator and prey relationship to the humans or for any lofty reasons. I want to join for my own sake. I want my knowledge and magic to be useful to somepony. I want to regain my self respect; to be more like Pinkamena in that regard. She takes what she is given and makes it into something useful. She does whatever it takes to accomplish her goals and moves forward with her head held high. I actually admire her for that.”

It was at that point that Pinkamena completely hid her face in her mane to hide the blush on her face. She never thought at any point in her life that she would actually be somepony’s role model and it felt embarrassing. Octavia picked up on the madmare’s expression and failed to hide a wolfish grin on her face.

“Aww...Mena’s got a fan,” Pinkie cooed.

“Shut up, Pinkie! Just…” All she could do was groan in embarrassment.

“Yo, what’s up,” called Vinyl as she approached the scenes with Gilda and Treehugger. Octavia filled the others in on the situation. “Whoa! Awesome!”

A large burden had been placed upon Pinkamena. She had earned honest admiration from another pony and it was a feeling that she was not going to shrug off so easily. She would ensure to her first true fan that her faith was not misplaced.

She resolved to return to Equestria one day and become the leader of the nation’s underworld that it desperately needed. She would show everypony that even a psychopath like her has a place in Equestria.

Pinkamena was suddenly engulfed in a bright flash of light that caught the attention of everyone in the room. The flash lasted a few seconds before it faded. The ponies and griffon around her took a few seconds more to regain their vision. When they looked at the madmare again, their eyes widened by the change in her form.

The change reverted when Pinkie forced herself back in control of her body. “What happened? I saw a bright flash and my Pinkie Sense told me that somepony somewhere needed a cutecenera. Who’s the lucky filly?”

The others tilted their heads and raised their eyebrows in confusion. “That is odd…” Octavia commented.

“Maybe it has to do with the two being of separate minds,” Moondancer added. “Pinkie, can you bring Pinkamena out again?”

“Hmm…” Pinkie spent a minute trying to coax her sister back into control before she gave her report. “She’s feeling super embarrassed after Moondancer declared her admiration.”

Octavia let out an overly dramatic sigh, “Pinkamena, you are only embarrassing yourself further by hiding away from your embarrassment. Besides, we are far from finished with the war against the Syndicate and STAG. Let us see what has happened to you so that we may move forward from this and resume our efforts.”

When Pinkamena’s features returned to her body, everyone stared at her flank once more to confirm what they saw. What they saw was no longer the three balloons that adorned the party mare’s flanks before but a single silver colored fleur de lis sitting in a background of liquid purple, given that the edges gave off a liquid appearance. The only other pony they knew who had a cutie mark with a background was Princess Luna. Pinkamena would be the second.

However, before the Equestrians could celebrate Pinkamena’s new cutie mark, Playa came to them and informed them that Kinzie needed some help locating the Deckers. Though as they were leaving, Playa commented on Pinkamena’s new mark, “Nice mark, ‘bout time you got some purple on you.”

The drive to Kinzie’s warehouse gave Pinkamena the time she needed to clear her head of the recent events and focus on the task at hoof.

Pinkamena brought her whole crew with her to make sure they were prepared for every task that Kinzie would throw at them.

Kinzie and Playa had a conversation that made the antisocial behavior of the former FBI agent plainly obvious. She informed the group about the program she wrote that would allow her to pinpoint the Deckers in real life as long as they played the game.

Playa gave the game a try. Unfortunately, his skills with a game controller was rivaled by his driving skills. Kinzie facepalmed at Playa’s poor performance. “Have you ever played a video game before?” she asked.

“I played one where I was killing zombies.”

Kinzie sighed in exasperation, “Great, now I’m gonna have to make a whole new program because you drive like a noob.”

While Kinzie and Playa were having an argument about his skills behind any kind of a controller, Moondancer inspected the game and lifted the controller in her telekinesis. While she had never played video games before either, she had an idea to cheat the system. She put the controller back on the ground before staring at the gaming console. She lit her horn before her eyes dulled. The game then started again.

Pinkamena walked up to the mare and waved a hoof in her face. Seeing the game going made the madmare curious if Moondancer was using some sort of spell on the game but realized that the still glowing horn made it obvious. She decided to get the two humans to stop bickering and have Kinzie get to work.

The odd part was that Moondancer didn’t bother going around the firewalls but instead blasted through them without penalty with her magic while slamming her digital motorcycle into the blocky tanks or blasting them with the cycle’s blaster.

Moondancer continued through Kinzie’s program for all three of the levels she had prepared to breach the Deckers’ security. Kinzie managed to get what she needed and didn’t care that Moondancer practically cheated at the game due to the importance of the data.

Moondancer’s eyes lit up again as her consciousness returned to reality. “Nice work,” Pinkamena complimented. Moondancer smiled at the praise.

The next task Kinzie had for the Saints was to cause a disruption to a company that manufactured fences while she tried to be clear that she wasn’t referring to a buyer of stolen goods.

“What kind of disruption are we talking?” Pinkamena asked.

“The ‘senseless destruction of everything around you’ kind,” Kinzie responded.

With that, Pinkamena left the building at ludicrous speed. Kinzie blinked in disbelief at the impossible display of speed. “Why does she drive a car when she can move that fast?”

Gilda was the one to explain. “You basically just told her to wreak havoc across Steelport. I’ve known her long enough to know that she has gone out to take part in her favorite activity.”

“Three...two...one…” Treehugger counted.

Right on cue, numerous explosions could be heard in the distance.

“She’s gonna be at that for a while,” Gilda continued. “Let’s hope there will be some Stanfield left after all this.”

Kinzie got up and ran out of the warehouse. “She better not mess up my place, some of my equipment is very delicate.”

After running a few feet from her warehouse, Kinzie was spotted by a pair of Deckers. The ex-FBI pulled out her pistol and shot one of the gang members in the head. The other managed to broadcast her location before she was killed as well.

“Shit!” She returned to the warehouse and quickly told the group their next task. “I’ve just been spotted. I need your help to lure the deckers away. There’s a helicopter nearby, use it and keep me covered.”

Playa and Octavia boarded the helicopter with one of the Saints grunts piloting it. Gilda took flight to provide extra protection as Kinzie made a break for her car.

The helicopter landed on a nearby roof and Playa and Octavia hung themselves over the building to provide covering fire with their sniper rifles.

Kinzie had little trouble making it to her car thanks to Octavia’s excellent vision and reflexes while shooting Deckers inside and outside their cars. Gilda assisted by blowing up Decker cars.

Once Kinzie was at the wheel of her car, Playa and Octavia retracted their cables and used rocket launchers to blow up cars that pursued Kinzie. Octavia was not as good with a launcher as she was with a rifle due to not being trained to use one. However, Gilda was good enough with one to make up for the music mare’s lack of skill.

Once she was sure that the heat was off her for the time being, Kinzie decided to go one step further and request additional escort while she hacked into some local establishments and brought more of the Deckers into the open.

The helicopter landed near an attack helicopter that Playa boarded while Gilda continued her aerial protection of the introverted Saint.

While Playa and Gilda were protecting Kinzie, there were a few times where Kinzie risked getting her car totaled by driving into Pinkamena’s rampage area. Seeing the devastation not only made her feel a little scared of the madmare, but also a little guilty that she was the one who unleashed the mare upon the innocents of Steelport.

Thankfully, she managed to avoid coming into contact with Pinkamena as there was no guarantee that the madmare would recognize her while she was having her fun and that would have been fatal for her.

Kinzie managed to hack into every Decker establishment in Stanfield just after Pinkamena was finally sated.

Kinzie decided to return to her warehouse to unwind and disabled all communications to and from her warehouse for a while, but not before delivering one last message to Playa and Pinkamena:

“Throw out your phones.”

Sci-fi Movie

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Since Kinzie was going to hide in her bunker for a while, any significant actions against the Deckers would be put on hold for a while.

Pinkamena decided to take the time to examine her new cutie mark. The mark that she waited over thirty years to obtain was finally revealed on her flank. A silver colored fleur de lis on a liquid purple background was shown for the whole world to see.

At times, Pinkamena had given up hoping for a cutie mark within her lifetime because Harmony itself had given up on her. She feared that she would go her whole life sharing a cutie mark with her sister, a mark that she could not express.

Pinkamena’s destiny was of a criminal mastermind it would seem, and that was one that she was completely fine with.

“Can I say it now?” Pinkie asked.

“Alright, go ahead.”

“WOO-HOO! You did it! Congratulations!” The sound of Pinkie’s harmless party cannon went off in her head which she felt as the start of a headache.

“Okay that’s enough. We still have things to do in this city and I’d rather not get them done with a headache.”

“Okie dokie lokie.”

With the Saints focusing on Stanfield for the time being, and taking advantage of STAG still recovering from their ill-fated assault, it was time to take more of the city from the Syndicate which was now deprived of the Morningstar faction.

Before she began assigning tasks to her friends, Pinkamena received a phone call from Kinzie who gave her one last task before she completely shut herself in. Her informants from all over Stanfield had been compromised and she needed Pinkamena or whoever she assigned to the task to rescue them from the Deckers and drop them off at designated safe houses.

With that information in hoof, Pinkamena began assigning the tasks for the day. Their efforts were mainly focused on Ashwood and Salander. Since Gilda was the best at locating things from the air, she was once again assigned to finding collectibles in the two neighborhoods. Vinyl and Moondancer were assigned to bring the informants to the safe houses. Pinkamena hoped that being around Vinyl might help the uptight unicorn to loosen up. Octavia and Treehugger were assigned to hunt down groups of Deckers conducting deals. This left Pinkamena with the usual task of buying up stores and properties and participating in photo ops.

Vinyl and Moondancer spent their drive to the first known location of Kinzie’s contacts in silence for the most part. Moondancer had a distant look on her face, something that might not be a good idea in their current situation. Vinyl usually wasn’t one to think of others aside from Tavi, but in this situation, it might help to go against her usual behavior.

“Hey Moonie, the stars aren’t supposed to be out for a few more hours and you’re kinda looking in the wrong direction as well.”

Moondancer was broken from her trance and turned her attention to the DJ, “Huh? Oh sorry, I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“It’s nothing.”

Vinyl thought for a moment and figured she could start things off. “Personally, there are plenty of things about this city that I like and dislike. The music here is amazing and has given me ideas for my next gig when we get back home.”

“How do you even know we can go home? What if we’re stuck in this insane world forever?” Moondancer asked while growing increasingly worked up.

“If we were stuck here, then I’d make the most of it. It’s easy for me to have a career as a DJ here. Tavi has options. You’re a smart pony, so I’m sure you could still have a future. If Mena believed we were stuck here, she’d probably go ahead and toss Playa off a skyscraper without a parachute and take over the Saints. If her new cutie mark means that she’s going to lead a criminal organization, she’ll make the Saints even bigger than the Syndicate could ever hope to be.

“Of course, the fact is, we’re not stuck here. Discord was nice enough to tell Tavi and me about the back door to Equestria. We just have to find it.”

Moondancer was silent for a while. After the first few deliveries of contacts, she spoke again, “Are you and the others alright with killing people?”

Vinyl took a moment to consider her next words. She knew this was a serious matter and she needed to think her answer through.

“We all have our reasons to fight. In Pinkamena’s case, she delights in the slaughter. She gets a thrill from watching people suffer. The main reason we don’t reject her is that despite how she is, she knows who her friends are and is willing to let others be her friend. As long as you don’t piss her off like others in her past from what I’ve heard, then you’re fine. Gilda fights because she gets to be the predator that she never got to be back home. Tavi just wants us all to get home alive. My reason and Treehugger’s reason are similar in that we just go along with what’s happening and make sure not to get killed while doing so. If they try to kill us then it’s only fair that we respond in kind.

“Unlike in Equestria where we get attacked by villains with sob stories, people here will try to kill us because they want to either control us, cage us, or experiment on us. We’re pretty much aliens on their homeworld. Our existence and the Saints being unwilling to bow to authority is a disruption to their status quo and that causes groups to rise up to wipe us out. It’s like playing a game of ‘princess of the hill’ except the only way the game ends is if you dominate everyone else or you get killed. And I have no intention of dying.”

“So it’s us against the world,” Moondancer concluded. “How do all of you keep going when faced with such odds?”

“When the risk is high the least you can do is enjoy the ride. If we fail and die, I’ll at least be glad that I had fun the whole time.”

Moondancer realized that Vinyl had a point. The DJ mare was living life to the fullest even when stuck in a kill or be killed situation. Pinkamena was also that way, in her own way. After a few minutes of thinking over Vinyl’s words and some self reflection where she asked herself if she was regretting how her life was being lived. The truth made her realize that she had been wasting her life for too long.

Coming up on the next group of Deckers capturing a group of Kinzie’s contacts, Vinyl was about to use her telekinetically held guns to shoot the Deckers but Moondancer reacted faster as she lit her horn and discharged a lethal bolt of electricity that arced from one Decker to another and electrocuted them, missing the contacts in the process.

“Whoa, how’d you do that and miss the contacts?” Vinyl asked.

“It’s easier when the targets have something in common and their fashion makes it easier to focus on my targets.”

The next group of contacts were being driven away by a limo. Vinyl had Moondancer control the wheel with her magic while the DJ pulled out her vehicle controller and forced the limo to a halt. The drivers and passengers exited the vehicle when it could go no further. The Decker driver was run over and finished off when Moondancer set him on fire with her magic.

The rest of the activity was spent in merriment.

After fully taking over Ashwood and Salander, the Equestrian Saints returned to the new HQ to discuss their next move.

On the way back to the HQ, Pinkamena received a call from Johnny. He informed her that some big shot Hollywood director had requested the two of them to co-star in the upcoming film, “Gangstas in Space.” Pinkamena was hesitant to go along with this since acting a part that someone else assigned her was not her strong suit. But in the end she decided to do it anyway and if the director didn’t like her acting then she could shove one of his cameras down his throat.

In the studio dressing room, Johnny and Pinkamena were going through the script while trying to get their lines down. They were approached by one of the actresses who was already in costume. Her skin was painted purple and her hair a darker purple and tied up in a long tube.

Her costume consisted of a gray choker, gray gloves that go past her elbows, and an outfit that matched the choker and gloves while leaving her cleavage and navel exposed.

The actress introduced herself as Jenny Jaros who played as the alien princess Kwilanna in the movie. She appeared excited to be working alongside the two of them.

It was then that the director of the movie, Andy Zhen barged into the room and scolded Jenny for harassing his prized actors. Pinkamena didn’t think the woman needed to be treated like that by the director but if he continued pushing her, the madmare was eager to see what would happen if Jenny snapped. If that happened, then the whole movie venture would have been worth the time spent.

The scene they were working on was a rescue scene where Johnny, playing as the heroic gangster, and Pinkamena, playing as his psychotic second in command, drove to the military base. “The government won’t escape with the alien. Not if I have anything to say about it,” Johnny quoted from the script.

“I’ll slice them all up if they try,” Pinkamena quoted. Neither were really feeling the script.

The two charged into the base guns blazing. Pinkamena giggled maniacally as she sliced up the guards in the base. If there was anything in the movie that would get her motivated, it would be the kills.

Johnny untied Kwilanna who said her line perfectly but Andy hated that and decided to redo the scene.

This time around there was some base jumping from a helicopter, plenty of explosions, a lot more guards, and some dramatic music for effect. Pinkamena put on her maniacal smile as she slashed through the guards in rapid succession, not even caring that she disemboweled a few cameramen.

Johnny untied Kwilanna again and the three entered the nearby helicopter to escape the base with the actress driving. Kwilanna introduced herself as per the script.

The helicopter suffered major damage and crashed outside the base. Everyone emerged from the wreckage relatively unharmed and the scene ended. Once again, Andy praised Johnny and Pinkamena and continued to insult Jenny.

The next scene involved a chase with Kwilanna driving a military Bulldog vehicle and a lot of attack helicopters and Bulldogs chasing them. When they got to a bridge, there was a military blockade preventing their escape when a pair of alien ships started attacking. The chase resumed except it was the ships pursuing them this time.

“Proof that this is a two bit movie: the director compensates with explosions and over the top action to hide how crappy it is,” Pinkamena quipped.

Andy informed them about the jump scene where they were supposed to drive the vehicle up a ramp and across a wide river. There was no way the vehicle was going to make that jump.

For that, Pinkie took over and forced Kwilanna into the back seat while she pulled off the impossible jump over the river.

“That was amazing! How did you pull that jump off?” Jenny asked.

“She’s Pinkie, it just happens,” Johnny responded. “Seriously though, you gotta stand up for yourself.”

“I’m not sure I can do that, even with how he’s treating me.”

“Andy’s a big meanie mean pants. You don’t need to take his meanness,” Pinkie said.

“If you say so.”

With the jump finished, Andy called the shoot finished for the day.

For the shooting on the next day, Johnny and Pinkamena were made to wear space suits. This time they were filming in the studio instead of on site. Pinkamena looked around at the props in the studio while Johnny had to explain some of the shows that they were used for, at least for the ones he heard about.

“I feel like I've gone beyond the fourth wall just by being in here,” Pinkamena commented.

“I’m pretty sure everyone feels that way in a studio,” Johnny countered.

“So what does the Michael Bay wannabe want with this scene?”

“We need to grab a laser pistol before we head on stage,” Jenny answered. “You need to escort me to some terminals so I can make them self-destruct.”

“I have a better idea.”

Once everyone grabbed a pistol, the trio emerged into the set and the filming began. The group made quick work of the space amazons and made their way to the first terminal.

As Kwilanna moved to tamper with the terminal, she dodged out of the way as a cybernetic-looking hobby horse was about to swing down and smash the terminal. “Jesus!” Kwilanna yelled.

“What are you doing! Do NOT break character Kwilanna! I’m docking your paycheck if you break character again.” Andy called out.

Pinkamena could tell that Jenny was getting frustrated with the director. She had trouble hiding the grin on her face as she imagined that it wouldn’t be too much longer before the actress snapped and lashed out at Andy. The best part was that she hardly had to do anything to get that to happen as the director was digging his own grave with each abusive insult.

For the second terminal, Johnny rigged the terminal to blow this time. It wasn’t as fast as Pinkamena’s method, but she was having fun killing amazons when he reached the terminal first.

Once they left the room, they were back on set and the action take ended. On the way to the next set, Johnny continued to make Jenny feel like she is the victim of Andy's abuse. Pinkamena was enjoying Johnny adding fuel to the flames.

The group each picked up an auto laser and headed into the next set. On cue, the cameras started rolling again.

The group fought their way to the next terminal and Kwilanna began tampering with it. Her rising temper and dwindling patience for Andy made her decide to improvise as she grabbed one of the amazons and hurled her into the terminal, triggering the self-destruct.

“Kwilanna! That was not in the script. Stick to the script,” Andy called out.

“That was awesome, Andy. We’re keepin’ that in.” Johnny said.

“Uh...right. Moving on to the next part.”

The next room involved finding some code to unlock some spaceships. Johnny and Kwilanna searched the terminals and found the code after the third set. Pinkamena butchered amazons while they searched three terminals.

“Typical rule of threes...” Pinkamena commented.

It was then that Andy decided to improvise and trigger a self-destruct for the room while locking the exit. The three rushed to the security room and let Kwilanna tamper with the terminal there.

After shooting up amazons like they were at a shooting gallery, Kwilanna opened the exit and the trio left the room before the blast. The cameras stopped rolling as the trio moved to the next set.

What Jenny saw on the way caused her temper to reach a boiling point as she saw a number of actresses dressed just like her, meaning they were to be her replacements. In her blind fury, Jenny blasted all of the replacements with her auto laser until none of them were moving.

“I’m starting to like this movie,” Pinkamena commented.

The trio went to the next set and picked up a laser cannon. Once the filming started, they realized that they weren’t going to get much use from it as Pinkamena pulled out her Vorpal Blade that, for the sake of the movie, was remade as a laser knife. Pinkamena turned the hangar scene into a bloodbath as she sliced her way through a large number of space amazons as well as what looked like a female brute dressed as a space amazon.

“Now I know what Oleg would look like as a girl,” Pinkamena commented.

“Yeah, coulda gone my whole life without knowin’ that.” Johnny added.

The trio made their way to the hangar’s control center and disabled the force fields around the nearby spaceship before they boarded the ship and lifted off, ending the shooting for the day.

Andy insulted Jenny’s acting one last time before the shooting ended.

The last scene was filmed the next day. This scene involved flying around in the spaceship the trio had taken from the hangar yesterday. The objective was to disable a bunch of force fields and upload a virus that would take out all of the aliens. Johnny and Kwilanna piloted the ship while Pinkamena handled the weapons.

While they were flying to the first location, Jenny vocally wished she were more confident like Johnny was.

“You already have what it takes to stand up to Andy,” Pinkamena responded. “If you can gun down a bunch of replacements in cold blood, you can kill Andy if he pushes you too far.”

“At the rate things are going, I just might,” Jenny growled darkly.

Pinkamena reached into her mane and pressed a button on a device. The sound of popping could be heard.

“What is that?” Johnny asked.

“I’ll tell you soon,” Pinkamena responded.

The trio focused on dodging fire and blowing ships and helicopters from the Steelport military while uploading the virus. While they were doing that, Andy demanded flying stunts such as near misses and barnstorms. All the while, Andy continued insulting Jenny’s acting.

Andy’s madness showed itself when they realized that real people were piloting the vehicles that were being shot down. When the virus uploaded, the ship started malfunctioning and Andy demanded another stunt. Meanwhile there were more pursuers and Andy demanded more drama. Johnny drove the ship out of range of the virus and to safety.

With that, it was time for the ending scene.

“The Earth is safe...for now,” Johnny quoted.

“Stupid motherfucking, stupid ass…” Jenny grumbled.

“Uhm...Kwilanna?”

“WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING UP THERE? JENNY, SAY YOUR GODDAMN LINE!” Andy screamed.

That did it. Jenny was officially seeing red as she declared her intent to kill Andy who only made things worse for himself as he continued criticizing her.

“Here.” Pinkamena handed Johnny a bag of popcorn. “You might wanna buckle up.” Johnny did so as Jenny started flying the ship at top speed toward Andy’s location. The director had no idea what Jenny was planning until it was too late as she crashed the ship into the road and impaled Andy on the nose of the ship, killing him.

Jenny was breathing heavily from her episode. While she calmed down, Pinkamena offered Jenny a bag of popcorn. The actress took the bag and enjoyed every bite. After what she went through, she deserved a reward.

“Guess that’s a wrap,” Johnny quipped.

Cyber Warfare

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With the death of director Andy Zhen, the filming for the movie, “Gangstas in Space”, was postponed, already finished and just needed editing, or the project cancelled. Pinkamena couldn’t care less because the movie would have sucked anyway because the director compensated for how bad the movie was through explosions, over the top action, and improvising unnecessary situations. No amount of editing would have saved that movie from the trash pile.

About the only amusing thing that happened during that diversion was watching the actress, Jenny Jaros, snap and impale the director on the spaceship she was driving. Her killing those extras was fun to watch too.

Since then, Jenny decided to hang out with the Saints for a while, or at least until she was finished unleashing her frustrations on people.

While she had a little fun with that distraction, Pinkamena needed to resume her efforts against the Deckers. There was no telling when STAG was going to make their next move and she wanted the Syndicate to be reduced to only the Luchadores by then.

To that end, she needed to finish the Deckers and take out Matt Miller quickly. That would start with taking over the remainder of Stanfield.

As usual, Pinkamena assigned Gilda to mark the collectibles in Burns Hill and Brickston. From what Gilda mentioned earlier when she scouted the district, those two neighborhoods had some significant gang activity. For this, she had Vinyl work with Octavia and Treehugger in removing the remaining gang operations from Stanfield. Meanwhile, Pinkamena would bring Moondancer along while she bought the remaining stores and properties in Stanfield. She would see if Vinyl managed to bring something out of her that the madmare could work with.

On the way to the first place for purchase, Pinkamena studied her companion’s expression and posture. They appeared to be blank and stiff respectively. She had to wonder if the nerdy pony was still intent on being formal with her or if she was just nervous. There was only one way to find out.

“Hey,” Pinkamena began. Moondancer yelped as she was startled by that one word. She was definitely nervous. “Why don’t we chat? You seem pretty nervous. Is it about me being the leader or about the things I’ve done? I’m not some hardass like that Temple person, you can speak freely.”

“Well…” Moondancer began, “I wanted to ask how you have fun when you’re pretty much against the world. It seems like everyone is out to kill you. How can you enjoy yourself knowing that you practically live with thousands of guns pointed at you?”

“That’s easy, the fact that everyone acknowledges you as a threat is why it’s so fun. They fear me and that makes me powerful in their eyes, that I can end their sad little lives on a whim. If you can find someone to dominate then you can begin to understand how I feel when the world comes after me.”

“Doesn’t it kinda seem like bullying?”

“I wouldn’t get too attached to these humans if I were you. Now that I plan to return to Equus at some point, that will also mean leaving the Saints behind. I’ve already left behind a reputation of infamy for these people to remember me and I don’t plan on reversing that.

“The one thing to remember as a villain is to have fun being the villain. Most villains will either fall, convert to good or in the case of a very rare few, become something that the forces of law cannot live without, else they have to deal with problems that will distract them while other issues slip past their metaphorical gaze, cripple them or outright cause the nation to descend into anarchy.”

“Is that the kind of villain you want to be?”

“If I play my cards right, sure.”

Moondancer couldn’t help but be in awe at Pinkamena’s willingness to put everything on the line for her own ambitions. The madmare could have easily just left her alone to do whatever she felt like doing but instead chose to go out of her way to include her in her activities. The psychopath next to her, as well as Vinyl, gave her the motivation she needed to seek her own desires; something her schoolmates were unable to do. For that, she would follow Pinkamena and see where her ambitions will take her.

“So we’re going around buying these stores and properties because the Syndicate owns them, right?” Moondancer asked.

“That’s one reason, the other is to boost our income. The task is really boring. If it weren’t for the income, I would have just burned down the places to deny the Syndicate their income instead.”

“That’s one way I suppose. Wasteful, but still works.”

After buying up Stanfield and slaughtering a large number of Decker gatherings, the Equestrians gathered at Kinzie’s warehouse. It was time to take effective measures against Matt Miller and the ex FBI was going to help whether she was willing or not.

Pinkamena knocked on the door to the warehouse and waited a minute before Kinzie let her and her group in. “Just so you know, I’m letting you in because I know what you can do to armored doors. I know what you did in the Stilwater bank when you kidnapped Maero’s girlfriend.”

Pinkamena had a feeling there was more to it than that but didn’t really care. She quickly got down to business. “We need to deal with Miller before STAG gets their act together. Know anything that can help?”

“While you were out securing more of the district, Killbane had been slandering the Saints over the airwaves. The boss didn’t want to distract you while you were handing your business so he took Johnny and Shaundi to triangulate Killbane’s position using the broadcast towers throughout the city. Unfortunately, that whiny little bastard Matt interfered by using the Decker Use-Net to hack into the flight computer of their helicopter and fried it with an EMP.”

“So we can’t deal with Eddie until we deal with Matt, huh? Doesn’t change my plans but I guess that’s good to know.”

“Do you have a plan for how we can be rid of him?” Octavia asked.

Kinzie typed on her laptop and brought up a round structure that looked like a series of boxes configured into a ‘C’ formation. “If I could worm my way into their mainframe, I’d do all sorts of naughty things. But to do that, I need this computer. It’s one of the most powerful learning computers in North America...And STAG’s got one.”

A change suddenly occurred on Kinzie’s screen and a face of some young man wearing the cyber-punk look of the Deckers. The on screen identification pinged him as Matt Miller. “Thanks for the tip, Agent Kensington.”

“Damn it!” Kinzie exclaimed.

“Hello Matty,” Pinkamena greeted with her wicked smile. “Glad to see the face of my next victim.”

Seeing the face of the psychotic mare sent chills up Matt’s spine. It was then that he had to question who he feared more, Killbane or the pony on his screen. “Like I’d give you the chance, you have no idea where to find me.”

“You don’t know me very well, do you?”

Matt Miller quickly cut the feed before Kinzie started frantically typing on her laptop trying to locate the learning computer. With little time to spare, Pinkamena and her friends left for the STAG PR Center as that would be a likely place to find the computer.

On the way to the PR Center, Pinkamena received more info from Kinzie. She had contacted Playa and the others and were on their way to the same place. Since the others were headed there too, Pinkamena decided to use Playa’s tendency to draw attention to create a distraction.

Playa, Johnny and Pierce raided the STAG PR Center again. Last time they were there, Playa and Viola snuck in to kidnap Josh Birk while disguised as figures from the actor’s vampire series. Playa never bothered to let STAG have Birk back and let him hang out at the hideout, for however long it will take for Viola’s patience to run out and the actor winds up dead in a ditch somewhere.

The Center was already in chaos as STAG forces engaged the Deckers in combat. Taking advantage of the chaos, the Saints gunned down everyone in the lobby while Matt taunted them through the intercom with Kinzie delivering the comebacks.

However, somehow both Kinzie and Matt had lost track of the computer. Kinzie told Playa to check the garage. All the Saints found was a STAG tank.

“I called in reinforcements to help you guys find the computer,” Kinzie said

“Fuck reinforcements, we got a tank,” Pierce countered.

“Don’t you dare drive that through the city,” Kinzie warned. “I don’t want that thing anywhere near my computer.”

Playa, Pierce and Johnny hijacked the tank.

While the Saints were driving around looking for the computer, Kinzie hacked into the street cameras and found the Saints in the tank. “What the hell are you guys doing?!”

“We’re looking for the computer,” Playa responded, trying to act innocent.

“I said DON’T use the tank!”

“Uhh...Sorry Kinzie, I didn’t hear that last part, going through a tunnel.”

“No you’re not, I can see…” The sound of a truck stopping next to Kinzie was heard over Playa’s phone. “You know what? You can keep the tank. At least ponies can get the job done better than you clowns.”

The Saints stopped the tank in the middle of the road for a few minutes while they slowly realized what happened.

“You don’t think…” Johnny began.

“I’m not, Johnny. I’m not gonna think about it. I’m just gonna head back to the HQ, put this tank in the garage, and forget this ever happened,” Playa said.

Back at Kinzie’s warehouse, the ex FBI was admiring her new supercomputer before a nagging question popped into her head, “How did you girls get this thing here without me or Matt noticing?”

Pinkamena giggled, “It took a bit of teamwork to get it here secretly. Pinkie, the other pony who inhabits this body, drove the truck while Moondancer placed an invisibility spell on the truck. Vinyl found a way to jam any nearby electronics so neither of you could track us in the off chance that the spell wouldn’t work. Gilda provided a second distraction by causing some mayhem from the air to draw the Deckers’ attention. Octavia and Treehugger took out any Deckers who got too close. And all while Playa’s group provided the distraction at the PR Center.”

“This is why I love po--I mean, wow, that’s impressive,” Kinzie hastily said.

Pinkamena raised an eyebrow at Kinzie’s comment but quickly dropped the matter.

Pinkamena spent the next hour watching Kinzie, Oleg, Moondancer and Vinyl set up the computer. Thanks to the DJ’s assistance, they managed to set up the device a lot sooner than expected.

During this time, Kinzie asked how Moondancer managed to transfer her subconscious to her game and if she would be able to maintain that transfer long enough to infiltrate the Decker Use-Net and corrupt the data and shut down their operations. Moondancer reasoned that maintaining the transfer slowly drained her magic. Something of a larger scale might put more of a burden on her.

With the simpler idea thrown out, Kinzie returned to her original plan of stealing the Neurological Electromagnetic Oneiroscope. Oleg mentioned that the KGB originally had one but it was destroyed. Kinzie pointed out that the Deckers had one and concealed it under a nuclear power plant where the emanations of the chair would blend in with the plant’s usual emissions.

With their next objective acquired, the Equestrians left for the power plant. While Kinzie said they would need her to help shut down the external power uplinks, Vinyl gave a wide smirk and assured her that she and Moondancer could handle the computer stuff.

Once the Equestrians reached the plant, Pinkamena, Octavia, Treehugger, Vinyl and Gilda protected Moondancer while she hacked into the uplinks and disabled them. Moondancer had learned enough about computers from Kinzie that she could handle the terminals herself.

While fighting the Deckers, Vinyl had acquired another shock hammer from the Decker specialists. Thinking about how to improve it, she reconfigured the cybernetic hammer’s battery to use mana so she could recharge it whenever she wanted.

Once Moondancer finished with the last terminal, Kinzie called Pinkamena to tell them that they needed to jump into the main cooling tower to reach the chair before the Deckers destroyed it to keep it from them.

Pinkamena had Gilda carry her into the cooling tower so the two of them could reach the chair quickly. Gilda could only carry one pony at a time so she would have to make trips to get every pony into the chair room. Pinkamena only had the griffon go back for Octavia so the three of them could take out all of the Deckers effectively.

With the three of them together after a few minutes, Pinkamena, Gilda and Octavia cleared the place of the Deckers. Octavia predicted the movements of the fast moving Decker specialists and ended them with one shot each.

Kinzie called Pinkamena to inform her that they needed to disable the router connections to cut the chair from their system. The first router was simple to deactivate and Pinkamena showed her comrades how to disable the remaining routers.

Once the chair was severed from the system, Kinzie called Playa to have a crew move into the power plant and move the NEMO chair to her place.

With the power plant taken from the Deckers, the group had no influence left in Steelport outside of cyberspace.

“Are you sure about this?” Pinkamena asked.

Once the NEMO chair was delivered to Kinzie, she, Oleg and Vinyl worked quickly to get the chair hooked up to the supercomputer. Kinzie warned that the one who dove into the Decker Use-Net would be facing an army of Decker avatars and who knew what other obstacles Matt Miller might send their way. Also, there was a chance of death from shock if they weren’t careful.

And for some reason, Moondancer volunteered for the task.

“Yeah, I feel like I need to do this. I don’t understand why myself, just that feeling that it has to be me who does this,” Moondancer replied.

“You do realize that you will be going in all alone and without any of us to support you in any way but morally while you will be up against Miller and an army of Decker avatars in a realm that he has full control of, right?”

“Don’t remind me…”

Since the unicorn seemed determined to take on the task, Pinkamena decided to let Moondancer handle it. Once Moondancer was set up in the chair, Kinzie activated the machine and Moondancer lost consciousness.

Moondancer awoke in a strange place that could not be compared to any of her past experiences. The only thing she knew was that she was in cyberspace and she was now alone with enemies all around her.

Taking a look at herself, she quickly realized that she was a toilet for some reason. Moondancer could still feel her magic but felt like it interacted with her differently in the digital realm. After a small period of experimentation, she found that she could use her magic to manipulate the data around her.

Forcing her will upon her own form, she managed to transform herself into a form that was at least shaped like a unicorn while she had a strange shape floating around her. Focusing her will upon the shape, it discharged a blast that hit a nearby wall.

Deciding to learn as she went, Moondancer moved forward into the cybernetic realm. She quickly came across Decker avatars as they fired their weapons at her. Using her magic, she hurled the first group off the platform and into the digital abyss.

As Moondancer advanced while blasting more Decker avatars, Miller took notice of the unicorn’s presence and started causing the area around her to slow. The unicorn countered this by casting an acceleration spell on herself to counter Miller’s attacks.

Once she made it to the Decker Use-Net’s firewall, she encountered something strange as a black screen with some text appeared in her vision. Unsure what to do with this, she tried to navigate the text adventure and realized it was like one of those ‘choose your own adventure’ stories,

It was what happened at the end that truly enraged Moondancer and made her more determined than ever to crush Matt Miller. In order to finish the adventure, she had to kill a unicorn. To be made to kill one of her own kind who did nothing to her, this made Moondancer furious.

With the firewall deleted, Moondancer was transported to another area and turned back into a toilet.

“I think that’s a more appropriate look for you, little pony,” Miller said mockingly.

Moondancer forced herself back into her unicorn form. If she could stare at Miller right now, she would have incinerated the geek with her stare alone.

The pony avatar reached the anti-virus that was guarded by a few deckers and a couple of specialists. Meanwhile, Miller was bombarding her with data. Lighting her horn, she managed to divert the data bombardment to the Deckers around her, causing them to lag instead and making them easy targets as she blasted them one by one with her magic.

Moondancer was soon placed into another game where she was a tank trying to destroy another tank. She wasn’t one for video games so she used her magic to teleport the enemy tank to a place in the data where it couldn’t exist. This triggered an error and caused the whole game to crash, destroying the anti-virus in the process.

When Moondancer was transported to the next area, Miller turned her avatar into a stallion sex doll. Moondancer once again adjusted her form but had reached the limit of her patience with the hacker. Miller’s attempts to stop or slow the unicorn proved futile as he didn’t have an answer for her magic.

Moondancer found Miller’s avatar in a square-shaped arena. The avatar was shaped like a dragon with armor. Moondancer only glared at the giant imposing form with unbridled fury.

“I am God here, little pony, and you will learn your place,” Miller declared.

While Miller thought that Moondancer would be intimidated by his stature, the unicorn only smirked. “You’re right, I did need to learn my place here. But you have yet to learn yours.”

“What does that mean?”

When Moondancer figured out how to alter herself in the digital realm, she considered the possibilities of what she could do. Using her magic, she drew in a large volume of data around her avatar. What Miller saw next made his eyes widen in horror as the relatively tiny unicorn mare grew to become larger than him. She also adopted a pair of wings for her new form as well as a majestic appearance.

Moondancer glared down at Miller as he took a step back. Miller tried to summon his Deckers to aid him but Moondancer blocked any attempts at teleporting in. The hacker pulled out his sword to slash at the giant winged unicorn only for his blade to be grabbed in Moondancer’s magical field and Miller with it. She wrested the blade from the dragon avatar before she gripped Miller in her magic and started slamming him around the arena. After one last slam onto the floor, she let go of the avatar before raising a massive forehoof and brought it down hard, shattering the avatar’s head.

Matt Miller’s actual form emerged from the avatar. Moondancer knew he was finished so she shrank herself to her original size while retaining the wings. She still had the sword the dragon avatar originally had and aimed the point at Miller.

“Wait! Please, spare me,” Miller begged. “I swear to never mess with the Saints again. I’ll even clear Kensington’s name with the FBI. I’ll even get the Saints discounts on weapon upgrades.”

“What I want is an apology for making me kill a unicorn.”

Miller blinked, “That’s what you’re fixated on? That story? How was I supposed to know that an actual bloody unicorn was going to end up playing that scenario?”

Moondancer raised her sword, prepared to deliver the final blow.

“Alright, I’m sorry for making you kill the bloody unicorn. Now please let me go.”

After Miller upheld his end of the bargain and came through on the weapons discounts, the hacker left the virtual realm before Moondancer returned to the real world.

Pinkamena awaited Moondancer as the unicorn returned to consciousness. “That was amazing!” Pinkamena said. “You had that guy practically wetting himself. I loved how you turned into that giant alicorn and treated him like a ragdoll and we even got something out of it for our troubles. You were so awesome in there.”

Moondancer blushed and turned her head away,.enjoying the praise. “Thanks.”

“Now we can finish off Matt Miller.”

“No we’re not,” Pinkie stated.

“Why not?”

“Because we need Matt for the next arc of this adventure.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Yuppers.“

“First Eddie ruins my kill of the DeWynter sisters and now we have to let Matt Miller get away because he’s needed for a later arc?”

“Mmm-Hmm.”

Pinkamena sighed. “I wanna go back to Stilwater. At least there were plenty of people I could creatively kill there. Here, I only get to kill two at best.”

“At least you get to kill Cyrus Temple later.”

“Yeah, there’s that…”

“And you still get to kill Killbane.”

“I guess I should take what I can get.”

With the Deckers defeated, only the thuggish Luchadores remained a problem for Steelport. STAG would likely make a move soon.

Z Island

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Pinkamena watched everything that transpired while Moondancer’s subconscious was projected into cyberspace from Kinzie’s computer. She was actually impressed with the nerdy mare’s ability to manipulate data to her will. She had to admit that if she went in there, she would have needed all the help she could get from Kinzie if she wanted to defeat Matt Miller. In the end, letting Moondancer handle Matt Miller on his own playing field turned out to be the right decision.

And she got to see an impressive performance from the unicorn.

As Moondancer’s consciousness returned and the NEMO chair deactivated. Pinkamena approached her and waited for her to regain her wits.

After shaking her head a few times and some breathing exercises, Moondancer seemed cognizant of her surroundings again. “So, how do you feel?” Pinkamena asked.

Moondancer took a moment to think up an appropriate response, “I feel like I just came down from this amazing feeling of being so powerful.”

“That was an interesting look you chose for your avatar. Trying to emulate Celestia in stature and beauty?” Pinkamena teased.

Moondancer’s face turned a deep shade of red, her fur doing nothing to hide it. “Thats…”

Pinkamena continued, “Well, your appearance doesn’t matter in the end. I was more impressed with the curb stomping you delivered to Matt Miller. You answered each of his attacks with ease and instilled terror upon him. I couldn’t be more proud.”

Moondancer’s face turned crimson and she could almost swear that she heard whistling coming from her ears as if her head had become a heated tea kettle. “I...thats...but...uh…”

Noticing that the mare had completely lost her composure, Pinkamena clopped her hooves together an inch from Moondancer’s muzzle. The sudden action jolted the unicorn from her scattered thoughts. “Huh? What?”

“Seriously though, how did you manipulate digital information like that?”

Seeing a chance to talk about something she was more comfortable with, Moondancer quickly explained, “Well, Kinzie told me that data in computers was simply bits of information in an electronic form. In my studies, I learned some spells that allowed me to absorb or release information from my mind. I also reworked a memory alteration spell to alter information in my mind. These spells were never tested in the digital universe so I was taking a big risk. As I learned that the spells worked differently in the digital universe, I grew more confident that I could manipulate data at will. The biggest risk I made was when I was facing Matt Miller’s avatar. I had no idea what drawing in so much data would do to me, though I never expected my own avatar to turn into my dream self.”

“You certainly dream big in that case.” Pinkamena’s smirk widened. “Still, given what I saw on that computer Kinzie lent you earlier, I could tell you enjoyed every moment of it.”

“Please don’t tell anyone what you saw…”

“You act like you’re the only closet case in Equestria and this world. But don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.” Pinkamena also performed the Pinkie Promise ritual to seal the deal. Pinkie did the same thing since she also saw Moondancer’s secret. “Maybe after we deal with Killbane and STAG, we can pay a visit to Safeword and help you with your confidence.” Moondancer nodded.

The moment between the two mares ended when Pinkie had a message for her sister, “Hey Mena, my Pinkie Sense is going off and it’s telling me that something weird is going to happen soon and it’s going to take place on Arapice Island.”

“Weird enough that we need to make claiming that neighborhood top priority before it happens?”

“Yuppers.”

Arapice Island was a small neighborhood in Steelport. According to Gilda’s scouting report, the island, while under control of the Luchadores, was not a place the gang of wrestlers would visit often. The island had little to offer but there were a number of destructible targets there that Angel wanted destroyed as part of his plan to weaken the Luchadores hold on Carver Island.

Since she needed to take care of Arapice Island quickly, she had Gilda search the island for any collectibles while having Moondancer act as her proxy to buy the Rim Jobs and Harano’s Hookup House on the island. Pinkamena put the coordinates to the two locations on her phone. Meanwhile, Pinkamena went on one of her rampages throughout Carver Island.

After she finished her rampage, pausing a moment when she had to deal with another fan with a camera, she got back together with her friends, one of whom seemed a little distressed.

“What happened, Treehugger?’ Pinkamena asked.

“One of those people from STAG tried to foalnap me. Thankfully I kept Loa Dust in my mane in case I needed a boost. I headbutted one of them and gave them a faceful of Dust and I escaped.”

“So STAG is making their move, huh?”

Pinkamena’s phone rang before the conversation progressed further. Playa was on the other line. “Mena, STAG just kidnapped Shaundi. Pierce, Viola and I are going to get into their aircraft carrier in disguise. If you want in on the fun, come see me at the Image as Designed in Rosen Oaks and we can tear the ship apart together.”

Pinkamena considered the offer for a moment. It was risky but it also promised to be fun and she could use the chance to terrorize STAG on their own ship. “I’ll be right there.”

Her friend’s were concerned for her safety since she would be on a ship filled with soldiers in high tech armor and carrying high tech arms. The madmare assured them that she had been in this kind of situation before, thinking back to when she terrorized the Carnales on a ship.

Before she went to meet with Playa, Gilda had to report that she only found one money pallet on Arapice Island and expanded her search somewhat and found another crate of Pierce’s sex dolls on a small island that was not marked as part of Luchador territory.

“This is the worst idea you’ve ever had,” Pierce complained.

“We can’t go marching onto STAG’s aircraft carrier,” Viola added.

“Why not? I’ll look just like Cyrus, all I need is a fucked up attitude,” Playa responded.

“Because on top of being the worst driver in the city, you’re also the worst actor. I know this because I had to listen to your shitty acting the whole time we were filming that trainwreck of a movie,” Pinkamena shot.

“Hey! Andy loved my acting.”

“A desperate director who got stuck with filming a tragedy that ended up being his. He had no idea what the meaning of karmic retribution was until it crashed into him and left him as a kabob. That only told me that he was a total idiot so you get no points in your favor there.”

“Whatever, bag on my acting all you want but this plan’s still happening.” Playa walked into the surgery room at the call of the nurse.

Playa emerged later looking just like Cyrus Temple. After a visit to a local cosplay store, he was also wearing Temple’s armor. Using some handcuffs from the store, he placed them on Pierce’s and Viola’s wrists and on Pinkamena’s hooves. The madmare knew she could break them at any time and so did everyone else.

With the look as convincing as possible, Playa took a STAG van and drove to a STAG base and flew a Condor VTOL to the Thermopylae. What really surprised Pinkamena was that despite Playa’s bad acting, the other members of STAG bought the act.

“His acting is worse than Celestia’s and they bought it? Are they really that stupid?!” Pinkamena thought.

While Playa was escorted to the R&D section of the ship, Pierce, Viola and Pinkamena were escorted to the holding cells. While the cell doors holding them looked of strong glass, she figured she could still break them. For now, all she needed to do was wait until Playa blew his cover before the fun began.

It hardly took a few minutes of time in her cell before the alarms went off and Temple’s lieutenant, Kia, announced that “Temple” was a Saint in disguise. Donning her cheshire smile, Pinkamena pulled out her knightmare from her mane and smashed the door, shattering the glass. The guards were alerted to the escape attempt and ran to her cell. The next thing they knew, they were looking at their own lower halves as their upper halves were crawling on the floor with their blood spilling from both halves.

Pinkamena went to the cells that were holding Pierce, Viola and Shaundi and smashed the doors, setting the Saints free and leaving them checking their person for any glass that might have gotten on them.

Pinkamena had the others regroup with Playa while informing Shaundi of his disguise. When asked what she was going to do, they immediately regretted it as they knew what the madmare did when in enemy territory.

The other Saint’s found Playa midway between the cells and the R&D section. While figuring what to do next, the lights went out and the auxiliary lighting activated. The lighting was dim and would set the stage for the psychotic mare’s next rampage.

The Saints noticed the STAG soldiers screaming as they were ambushed and butchered, spilling blood all over the place. Laughter rang throughout the ship.

“I knew she was ruthless when in the mood but even the intel the Syndicate had on her didn’t prepare me for this,” Viola commented.

“Yeah, this is kinda what happened to those hooker assassins you sent at us when we had that party,” Shaundi added.

Viola remained silent as she came to the realization about what she subjected those poor assassins to.

Since they came to rescue Shaundi and send STAG a message, Playa led the Saints to the ship’s reactor control room. The place was already a bloody mess when they got there so all they had to do was shoot up the control console and get to the hangar and hijack a VTOL. While most of them blew up, they managed to find one that didn’t and flew the vehicle off the ship.

Somehow, Pinkamena appeared with them as they escaped the ship with a satisfied look on her face.

Playa landed the VTOL near where the ship was and let the Saints admire their handiwork. “This one’s going in the book.”

“We might’ve overdone it,” Pierce said.

“Now we can focus on Killbane,” Viola added.

“What about STAG?” Shaundi asked.

“We just blew up an aircraft carrier...what else could they throw at us?”

Pinkamena gave Pierce a deadpan stare for what he said.

12 hours later…

Pierce facepalmed and groaned while Pinkamena was lying on her back laughing helplessly while kicking her hooves in the air.

Murphy was just as amused as she was.

As a result of the destruction of the Thermopylae, STAG declared martial law on the city and brought the majority of their forces to occupy the city.

Pierce glowered at the laughing mare, “You make it seem like this is my fault.”

Pinkamena laughed for several minutes before she finally got herself under control. “You’re the one who invoked Murphy’s Law. So if the horseshoe fits, or in your case, shoe...”

“Whatever.” Pierce walked away in a huff before mumbling, “It wasn’t that funny…”

Some time after STAG declared martial law on the city, Kinzie called Playa and Pinkamena about a STAG cargo plane that was delivering weapons and equipment for the army. Playa intended to hijack it but needed a means to fly up to it. Kinzie suggested calling Viola and have her get the Syndicate private jet ready for them to fly up to it.

A short time later, Playa, Pinkamena and Viola were flying above the STAG cargo plane. The cargo door was opened and the Saints leader and pony leader were preparing to make the jump. Knowing that the whole stunt would require a level of stupidity that she was not willing to show, Pinkamena was more than happy to let Pinkie take the lead for this mission.

“There’s probably an easier way to do this!” Viola shouted over the screaming wind blowing into the cargo hold.

“No doubt!” Playa replied.

With that, Playa and Pinkie jumped off the plane. While they were aiming for the cockpit, Playa missed his mark and was forced to grab on to the hatch atop the plane and enter the plane from there. Pinkie figured that she would miss the mark too at the rate she was going so she pulled out her grappling gun and fired it into the cockpit. The shot broke through the glass and grabbed onto something, only for it to pull out one of the pilots, the grapple having impaled his chest.

Pinkie bit her lip in guilt as she knew that she just killed someone, even if it was by accident.

Pinkamena grunted from within Pinkie before she took over again and fired the grapple into the cockpit again. This time she hit something that wasn’t a pilot and was able to pull herself into the plane.

Once inside, the copilot yelped in surprise before Pinkamena pulled out a pistol and shot him in the head. She was not in the mood to be dealing with him.

Switching back to Pinkie, the party mare took control of the plane and started setting it on a course for somewhere the Saints had control.

Her Pinkie Sense went off in a way that told her that she needed to get out of the cockpit immediately and the cabin door wasn’t an option. So with no other options left, Pinkie jumped out of the cockpit window mere moments before the cockpit exploded. Pinkie caught a glimpse of Playa next to the smoldering ruins of the control room of the plane. Pinkamena set a thought aside that she would get Playa back for that.

For now, she had to deal with STAG soldiers falling from the plane with her. Using her grapple gun, she pulled a soldier to her and stole the weapon he was holding while using the soldier as a meat shield. After dealing with the troops, she looked around for something to help with the fall.

Seeing the STAG plane explode made Pinkamena shake her head in disappointment at the Saints leader for botching the whole operation because of his decisions.

The madmare noticed Playa climbing into a tank before looking down to notice that the ground was coming up fast. She grappled onto the tank and climbed in after Playa.

A few minutes passed before the expected impact caused the passengers in the tank to jump up and hit the ceiling of the cramped compartment.

Pinkamena only grunted in disappointment at Playa as she attempted to start the tank. Playa opened the hatch to see what was happening around them and discovered a number of canisters on the ground and STAG bodies raining down in the area. The impact caused by some of the bodies also ruptured the canisters and released an eerie green gas. Another minute of observation revealed that the STAG troops and the civilians of the area were coming back to life and started shambling toward the tank.

“Mena…?” Pinkie asked worriedly.

“Don’t say it. Let’s just get out of here before I consider tossing Playa out of the tank and leaving him to deal with the horseapples he caused.”

Nothing else was said as the tank left the danger zone and back to the hideout.

While Playa didn’t want to say what happened over Arapice Island, Pinkamena was more than happy to tell everyone how Playa blew up the plane, and caused canisters of zombie gas to be unleashed upon the island.

“Zombie gas? Never heard of it.” Oleg said.

“Whatever, it’s STAG’s problem now,” Playa grumbled.

“I thought the whole ‘bring the dead back to life’ only happened in movies,” Shaundi said.

“Maybe if he weren’t so reckless, we wouldn’t have had to test that concept,” Viola snapped.

It was then that Viola received a call from someone. “Yes?...Right...I see...Alright, we’ll be there immediately.” Viola ended her call before addressing the Saints. “The mayor just called, he wants to meet with Playa and Pinkamena right away?”

“What does the mayor want with me?” Playa asked.

“Just come with me to his office, he’ll explain everything when we get there.”

Oleg, Playa and Pinkamena accompanied Viola to the mayor’s office. Once inside the building, Viola stopped everyone from going into the office for a moment.

“What are we waiting for?” Playa asked.

“We’re not walking in there until you promise to play nice. I can trust Pinkamena to behave herself since the mayor’s not hostile toward us.”

“You make it sound like I’m a child who needs to be told by mommy to behave.” Playa received silent judgemental stares from everyone. “Fuck you guys.” Playa opened the doors into the mayor’s office and barged inside. “I don’t need someone holding my hand when I’m dealing with government officials.”

The mayor noticed the commotion and turned around to reveal to everyone an elderly man in a white stetson with a large breasted prostitute in a police costume that barely fit her. “Viola, is this the kid and pony you were talking about?”

Playa was immediately starstruck, he was looking at one of his favorite celebrities. “Burt-fucking-Reynolds?!”

“Who else could keep this town running? Besides, I love my constituents.”

“Sir, I am a huge fan.”

Burt let his pleasure for the day off his lap as he got to business. “Viola says the Saints are the new game in town. If that’s the case, I want in.”

“Uh, yeah, great! What do you need?”

“I got a zombie problem that I want taken care of.”

“I take it STAG is trying to sweep the problem under the rug? Figures since they were the ones who manufactured the gas.” Pinkamena said.

“Since the rising sensation, Professor Pinkamena, is with you, I’m confident the situation will be handled quickly.”

“Any restrictions?”

“Don’t level Arapice, I don’t give a fuck otherwise.”

“I’m liking you already.”

On the way out of the office, Playa practically squealed in excitement over seeing his idol while Viola complained about Playa being such a fanboy.

Pinkamena called her crew to Arapice Island to help deal with the zombies. While Playa and Viola wore masks, Moondancer placed a bubble spell on her friends’ heads that filtered the contaminated air on the island.

“Why don’t you use the spell on us?” Playa asked.

“Because you opted for the masks,” Pinkamena responded.

For the weapons the Equestrians chose for this task, Pinkamena would stick with her knife and explosives. With her speed, the zombies would not be able to keep up. Gilda stuck to her usual weapons since RPGs were effective against crowds. Treehugger made sure she had plenty of fuel to burn. Octavia had to use a grenade launcher and a shotgun because her sniper rifle was too inefficient in this case. Vinyl managed to engineer a copy of the sonic boom gun that Playa stole from the STAG plane and improved upon it to increase its range without reducing effectiveness. She had more ideas for the weapon but didn’t have time to make any more improvements. Finally, Moondancer had plenty of offensive and defensive spells in her arsenal to deal with the dead.

Together, the Equestrians had no problems dealing with the zombies and the canisters that were spreading the plague.

Oleg offered an idea of using zombies as a weapon for the Saints by obtaining a sample of the gas but Pinkamena was against it for the reason that Pinkie was especially uncomfortable around zombies. With the decision made, Playa drove the last of the gas canisters into the water.

Playa informed Burt that the virus was neutralized and while the zombies were still an issue, their numbers would remain finite. Burt thanked them for their work and offered up the services of the city SWAT teams as well as himself for the Saints. Playa eagerly accepted the mayor’s offer.

With STAG humiliated due to the fact that a street gang handled something they couldn’t, the Saints now had more time to finish off Killbane and the Luchadores.

Playa's Hard Day of Training

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With STAG licking their wounds and nursing their pride, the time had come to finish the Syndicate once and for all. Once Carver Island came under Saints control, the Luchadores and the last of the Syndicate would collapse. Pinkamena eagerly awaited the moment where she would personally end Killbane’s life.

Pinkamena’s day began with a phone call from the Genki sponsors of Channel 6. The producers had planned on the date of the upcoming Genkibowl VII and decided to make it happen just before Murderbrawl XXXI. To that end, they also wished to film three more episodes of Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax before the event started. With little time left until Genkibowl VII, the producers had decided to film those three episodes back to back.

Pinkamena had no problems with subjecting Playa to a marathon of episodes but the next call would make her nearly pity the Saints leader. Angel de LaMuerte requested her assistance in regard to Playa’s training regimen in preparation for Murderbrawl XXXI.

The drive to Angel’s gym in Bridgeport was uneventful if one didn’t count avoiding the STAG patrols and the raised bridges.

Angel was once again practicing the fundamentals of his art on a training dummy when Pinkamena arrived. “So, what did you need to see me about?”

After delivering one last piledriver upon the unfortunate dummy, Angel got on his feet to address the pony. “I’ve noticed that your leader favors comfort and avoids pain. I have to ask: do you follow in his decadence?”

“I grew up with an amish family that ran a quarry. Me and my sisters have worked with rocks since we were little fillies. We lived with only the barest of comforts: simple beds and three square meals that were seasoned with rocks. I haven’t forgotten my youth and it’s made my family among the toughest earth ponies around.”

“Heh,” Angel smirked, “You’ll forgive me if I don’t believe you until I see if your actions match your words.” Angel walked outside the gym and Pinkamena followed. The wrestler looked around until he managed to find a decent sized rock that he could barely hold in one hand. He tossed the rock to the madmare. “If you really did eat rocks, then you’ll--”

Pinkamena eagerly devoured the rock. Her earth pony magic made her teeth harder than the rock she devoured. Angel was surprised from the display. Looking around some more, Angel grabbed the heaviest boulder he could find and dared the madmare to endure the boulder or attack it. When he threw the boulder at Pinkamena, she charged at the boulder and smashed it into gravel with her bare hooves.

“Alright, I’m convinced,” Angel said. “Now then, think you can help me toughen your leader up before Murderbrawl?”

“Sure, what do you have in mind?”

Since they were waiting for Playa to arrive, Angel continued his training by punching a sandbag while Pinkamena figured that she might as well get some exercise as well by bucking the trees in the nearby park using her normal strength.

Pinkamena soon spotted one of Playa’s many cars arriving at the gym. She hurried back inside to observe the Saint leader and wrestler converse. Playa ended up leaning against a torso dummy and fell over since the dummy wasn’t bolted to the floor. “Damn, why are you living in this shithole?”

“To remind me of what Killbane took from me. It keeps me focused,” Angel answered.

“Whatever works for you man, I’m just sayin’ I like my place with working heat.”

“So you hate discomfort. That’s the sort of weakness the Luchadores will capitalize on. Unless you harden up, Killbane will crush you. But don’t worry, I’ll chisel you out of diamond.”

“How?”

“By making you experience the worst pain imaginable...now come on, it’s time for you to play in traffic.”

“Again? You gotta be shittin’ me…”

“No matter what happens, you always end up getting run over by cars,” Pinkamena commented.

Playa sighed as he knew that the madmare was right. No matter whether he was in Stilwater, Steelport, or anywhere, as long as there were cars, he was going to end up playing in traffic.

Some days Playa wondered if he was a masochist.

Angel had Playa subject himself to a lot of physical abuse from cars all over Carver Island. By the time Angel felt that the Saints leader had enough, he was battered, bruised, and bleeding externally and internally. Because of that, Playa spent some time in the hospital while Angel planned the next phase of Playa’s training.

After Playa got out of the hospital, Angel was prepared for the next phase. While he was doing that, Pinkamena decided to have her friends assist her with taking over Bridgeport and New Baranec. Her friends were assigned the usual tasks except Moondancer would be assisting Octavia and Treehugger with the gang operations. With her magic, Moondancer would be able to wipe out groups of Luchadores in creative ways. Vinyl wanted to keep making modifications to her sonic boom weapon and promised that when she was finished, it would be awesome.

Meanwhile, Angel was making Playa experience the heat of a fight with Killbane by making him wear a flame suit and ride an ATV around town while destroying things. Playa had forgotten how hot it could get inside a burning flame suit and it wasn’t pleasant back in Stilwater. By the time Angel was satisfied with testing Playa’s heat tolerance, the Saint’s leader was on the verge of heat exhaustion. To help with this, Playa mugged a jogger and stole his water bottle to quench his thirst.

Playa had hoped that the worst was over. After all, after being battered by cars and roasted in a flame suit, there was no way Angel could top that.

Playa could already hear Pinkamena’s laughter ringing in his head. He made the same mistake Pierce made when he thought STAG couldn’t send worse than an aircraft carrier. Even if he thought about it, he had already invoked Murphy’s Law.

As he considered his misfortune today, there was one question that resounded through his mind as he was driving around town with his new companion:

“Where the fuck did Angel get a tiger?!”

Angel’s next task for Playa was to drive around town with an irritable tiger in the backseat of a car that didn’t have a rooftop.

Playa’s poor driving skills had finally come back to bite him as his crashing was angering the tiger and causing the feline to maul him. The Saints leader received a number of scratches and bites from the beast as he did his best to actually drive better. The media only made things worse as the camera flashes were making the tiger angry.

Playa had to drive the tiger all over the district as if she or he was a tourist; an irritable, furious tourist. During this time, Playa’s body had been made as the beast’s scratching post and he had wounds all over his body.

Angel called the activity to an end before Playa ended up in critical condition but he needed to go to the hospital immediately.

Pinkamena watched the Saints leader get carried away in an ambulance before she turned her head toward Angel. “So, do you think he’s ready?”

“He braved the trial of the tiger and while he suffered immense pain, he now knows what he can expect from Killbane. I think he’s ready.”

“Good, but now I need to go be a commentator for a few episodes of Genki and he’s in no condition to compete.”

“You still have Johnny, don’t you?”

“Johnny and Playa entered together but the rules state that in the event that one of the contestants is incapacitated before the show, a proxy must take their place or both contestants are disqualified.”

“What about you?”

“I got banned from competing because I killed too many mascots. None of the others are crazy enough to compete which leaves us with...” Pinkamena left the sentence hanging to give the wrestler the idea about her plan.

Angel quickly picked up on her suggestion. “I am a wrestler, not a murderer.”

“Yeah, I understand,” Pinkamena fake pouted. “If only we knew that your mask was alright, It would be a shame if Treehugger burned a place down and accidentally torched your mask.”

Angel glowered at the pink madmare, “You wouldn’t dare.”

“I’m pretty sure your mask is in that casino at Port Pryor. And yes, I’m quite daring.”

“How dare you threaten a luchador’s mask like that!”

“Look, all you have to do is compete in a few episodes of Genki and I’ll apologize to you and your mask when we get it back, deal?” Pinkamena extended her hoof.

Angel thought about it for a moment before begrudgingly shaking her hoof in agreement.

“Welcome to another exciting episode of Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax,” Zach began.

“This is something you don’t see every day, the Lieutenant of the Saints is here but the leader was replaced by someone else.” Bobby added. “Can you explain this, Professor.”

“I had to get this guy to compete in the Saints leader’s place due to some recent severe injuries that were inflicted upon him as a result of the training he went through that was orchestrated by his replacement.”

“Really? What happened?” Bobby asked.

“Would you believe he got mauled by an Angry Tiger while he was driving around?”

“Angry Tiger the character, or the real thing?”

“If you signed a contract with the tiger then yes.”

The event soon began. Unlike Playa, Angel was more careful about not getting zapped or burned. Johnny was as ruthless as ever. Both Saints murdered a number of mascots as they came and both made it to the end. During episodes where the hunter made an appearance, Angel ended them by using one of his wrestling techniques to twist the brute’s head.

While Pinkamena enjoyed the performance while Playa was around, the two being careful and not getting themselves hurt by the obstacles only made Pinkamena feel bored. She could only hope Genkibowl would lift her spirits better than what happened during the course of the three episodes she had to watch.

A Fanfic in A Fanfic

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After Pinkamena had subjected Angel de LaMuerte to a game show that he was against participating in, Pinkamena apologized to the wrestler for putting him through that and promised to apologize to his mask later. This satisfied the irritated wrestler.

There were still a few days left before Genkibowl and Murderbrawl, too much time in Pinkamena’s opinion. She would need to find some way to spend her time until the events.

After the activities that physically pushed Playa’s pain tolerance to his limit and the back to back game shows, every activity in Steelport had been done, short of what was to come during Genkibowl.

The only thing she could do until the event was to continue pushing against the Luchadores by claiming more of the neighborhoods on Carver Island. The island was the last bastion of Syndicate influence in Steelport.

With Playa still in the hospital after getting mauled by a tiger because his bad driving pissed off the feline, the remaining assassination contracts would have to be handled by someone else in his stead. Octavia volunteered for the contracts until Playa left the hospital. The vehicle theft contracts could wait.

For today, the neighborhoods of Yearwood and The Grove would be the targets for Pinkamena’s crew. Since Port Pryor had little going on except for a couple of gang operations and being where the Luchadores’ base of operations was located, she included that location as well.

As usual, Gilda was left with the collectible search task, one that Pinkamena assured the griffon that was nearly complete as according to what Pinkie told the madmare, there were only seven packages of drugs, cash and sex dolls left in the city.

Moondancer, Treehugger and Vinyl handled hunting down the last of the gang operations in Steelport.

Vinyl decided to show off her latest modifications to the sonic boom. While she had to remove the charge function in favor of increasing the rate of fire of sonic pulses, she also managed to increase the effectiveness of each pulse. She still had a lot of work to do to transform what was once a sonic pulse cannon into what she believed would be the best weapon ever.

As the ponies were hunting the luchador gatherings, Moondancer lifted the gang members into the air while Vinyl tested her weapon on them. The rapid fire burst of sound ended up blowing their minds, literally.

Moondancer was still a little disturbed by the display. “I know we’re supposed to be killing them but couldn’t you make that thing so the deaths are at least a little more pleasant to see?”

“It’s still a work in progress, Moonie,” Vinyl responded. “I just needed to know if the pulses were still effective. Trust me, when I’m finished with this, it’ll be the envy of every DJ on both worlds.”

Meanwhile, with everyone on their task, Pinkamena brought up the last of the deeds that were in the Syndicate lockboxes and bought the last of the Syndicate-owned stores in Steelport while searching for the last of the photographer fans.

Gilda returned later to report that she couldn’t find the last money pallet anywhere on Carver Island. Without any knowledge of where the last of the collectibles was located, Pinkamena bought the Collectible Finder app on her phone. When she brought up the app, she facehoofed as she realized that the last collectible was in the last place they never explored in the city, the star-shaped Magarac Island. Gilda quickly took off and searched every nook and cranny of the tiny island and came across the money pallet in a small passageway.

With these tasks complete, only the 3 Count Casino stood between the Saints and complete city takeover.

The next day progressed slowly for the Saints. Angel was still considering how he was going to get Playa, or better, Pinkamena, into the ring during Murderbrawl as there were a number of wrestlers ahead of them in line waiting for the chance to take Killbane’s title from him.

With nothing left to do in the city, all the Saints could do was wait.

Thankfully, Playa finally returned to the Saints after his stay in the hospital. However, the look in his eyes spoke of rage toward a certain disgraced luchador who made him play in traffic, made him drive around in a flame suit which left him parched as a man in the desert without water, and made him drive around town with an angry tiger sitting right next to him. Overall, he was ready to beat Angel’s face until it was unrecognizable.

Since Angel was still needed for future plans against Killbane, Pinkamena convinced the Saints leader to blow off some steam by finishing the remaining vehicle theft contracts and performing some stunts. Playa decided to listen to the madmare and begrudgingly went out to do as she suggested.

That was before he received a phone call from someone he didn’t know. The caller ID tagged him as Jimmy Torbitson. Playa decided to humor the caller and answered his phone.

“You don’t know me, but I’m your biggest fan! And I...well, I need your help. Do you know Smiling Jack’s Diner? Meet me there and I’ll explain everything. Oh, and bring Johnny Gat, he deserves to know what happened.”

The call ended. Playa stared at the mare who had listened to everything the kid, who sounded like the most awkward person she had ever heard, had said. Pinkamena shrugged, “Guess this is one way to spend the time until Murderbrawl.”

Playa found Johnny and Pinkamena decided to bring Octavia along. It was about time she had a bonding experience with the ex assassin turned musician.

“It was a dark and stormy night…”

“Okay, I know you’re an amateur fanfic writer, but couldn’t you do better than to use the well overused ‘dark and stormy night’ setting?” Pinkamena complained.

“Hey! It’s my story so I decide if I wanna use cliches or not,” Jimmy defended.

“Fine, whatever…”

“Ahem...It was a dark and stormy night… The heavens wept as I defiled mother nature. As I am Johnny’s number one fan...”

“Wait, I thought you said you were my number one fan,” Playa interrupted.

“Can’t I be both of your number one fans?”

“Let him finish, I’d rather not be sittin’ here all night listenin’ to this shit when I could be out murderin’,” Johnny said.

Jimmy continued, “For months I had been collecting shit. His shit.” He pointed at Johnny.

“Creepy…” Johnny commented.

“Discarded sunglasses, old chewed up gum, a greasy comb.” Pinkamena silently contemplated making some of her creepypasta out of the weird kid as he said that. “I thought I had enough things that he touched. I was wrong.” Jimmy then explained the malformed clone that came from his cloning machine.

“Uhh, Pinkamena, do humans normally have these ‘cloning machines’ in their bedrooms?” Octavia asked.

Pinkamena shook her head. “There is no way he should have been able to acquire something like that. That’s something only a federal research facility would have.”

“I got it off of Craigslist,” Jimmy explained. Pinkamena deadpanned at the explanation.

“So where is he?” Playa asked.

“Well, he walked out of a hole in my room and that’s all I know.”

Octavia took a deep breath. “So let me see if this is correct. You, an irresponsible child had somehow acquired a machine that you had no business in having from a source that somehow had said machine for sale, had somehow collected pieces of Mister Gat’s personal belongings. Then you placed them inside of said machine and somehow managed to activate the machine that you had no training in using. This resulted in creating a malformed copy of Mister Gat that you had no control of which brings us to your problem. An awful copy of Mister Gat is now on a rampage throughout the city of Steelport.”

Jimmy rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, that about sums it up.”

Octavia closed her eyes, sighed and rubbed her temples with both forehooves. “Looks like I owe Vinyl twenty bits,” she mumbled. Pinkamena gave a confused look which prompted the cellist to elaborate. “She and I had an argument one time about her irresponsible behavior and I bet that I would never meet an individual that was more irresponsible than her while discounting the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Discord. Vinyl took that bet.”

“Hey! If they didn’t want me to use a cloner they shouldn’t have sold it on Craigslist,” Jimmy defended.

Octavia sighed, “Let us get out of here before I say something that I will regret.” Octavia walked out of the restaurant, Pinkamena and Playa right behind her. Johnny made sure Jimmy didn’t follow them as he left the restaurant with the group.

Outside the restaurant, it had begun to rain. As they got into their car, everyone heard the voice of Jimmy in the air, “And so our adventure begins…”

“Great, now we’re part of this kid’s fanfiction. Pinkie, if he starts to piss me off, hold nothing back.”

“Okie dokie lokie.”

Once everyone was in the car, Playa asked Johnny if he knew where a clone of his would go. Johnny figured he’d go to a Friendly Fire to pick up a gun or something if he wanted to have some fun.

They didn’t find the clone at the nearest gun store so they searched another one.

“Indeed their friend had not been to the purveyor of weapons close by, but perhaps the next merchant would prove more...enlightening,” Jimmy narrated.

The next store was on fire and there were Morningstar around it. They decided to interrogate the Morningstar.

“Seeing our heroes approaching, footsoldiers of the notorious Morningstar gang rained down a hail of bullets. Realizing the presence of these henchmen must hold a clue to the whereabouts of their friend, keeping one alive was their only avenue for answers,” Jimmy’s narration continued.

“Yeah, no, fuck that.” Pinkamena was not going to go along with Jimmy’s narration and just butchered every Morningstar in the area.

“Pinkamena, you were supposed to keep one alive,” Jimmy whined. Pinkamena happily ignored the narrator. “Anyway, the Saints realized they had no idea where to continue the search. But then…”

Jimmy called Playa on his phone to tell him that there was some activity going on at Technically Legal involving a big monster. The Saints headed to the strip club.

“Listening to the sage-like advice of their intelligent friend, they raced over to the local strip joint ready to deal with a full police investigation. But when they arrived…”

The Saints arrived at a decimated strip club and no police were around. Playa interrogated the club owner who complained about the Saints tearing up his club.

“At that moment, little did they know the building was being surrounded…”

“...by mascots celebrating the upcoming Genkibowl competition and wanted to throw Playa and Johnny a party for being participants in the show,” Pinkie added to Jimmy’s narration.

Mascots appeared outside the strip joint in celebration.

“What? How did you do that? Stop doing that, you’re ruining my story…” Jimmy complained.

“Mena said I could be your co-author so here I am.”

Jimmy tried to get the story back on track by narrating himself driving to the strip joint and having the Saints get into the car. With three people and two ponies, the car was cramped.

“You couldn’t have jacked something bigger?” Playa asked.

“This is my mom’s car, I’ll have you know. It’s very reliable.” Jimmy defended.

“Does your mother know that you have taken her car?” Octavia asked.

“It was an emergency, I’m sure she will be glad I borrowed it for a good cause.”

Octavia held her tongue as only unladylike thoughts floated through her mind at the moment.

While Jimmy narrated that the Saints would ask about the tracking device he had for the clone, nobody cared to ask. Thanks to Pinkie writing away the police involvement in the story, the chase went on without incident but the clone still got away.

Jimmy assured everyone that he had another plan to track the clone. His plan involved trying to calm the clone down by having Pierce dress as Aisha and sing her songs. Pinkamena would allow it if only because it would amuse her to watch Pierce humiliate himself in public.

Jimmy provided the strangest gun Pinkamena had ever seen: A gun that shoots bees. The weapon was crafted with a beehive as an ammo clip. Pinkamena was pretty sure that if Fluttershy ever found out the kid had designed the gun, she would have words for Jimmy that would make him run home crying for mommy.

While the group was wearing protective suits while using the weird weapons to drive off fans, Johnny could only think about how weird it felt to be trying to deal with something that was made from him. While he did want to be a father someday, this was not the way he wanted it to happen. Overall this was the weirdest day of his life so far.

While Jimmy wanted to say that the Steelport National Guard got in the way again, Pinkie ended up replacing that scene with an explosion of lights and confetti which scared Johnny Tag, a name that Jimmy decided on, and made him flee.

“Really Jimmy?” Pinkamena deadpanned. “You decided to give him a bizarro world name? Could you not try to be a little more original?”

“Hey! I’ll have you know that Bizarro Superman is awesome. I have every comic featuring him. In issue--”

“Yeah yeah, comics and stuff,” Pinkamena interrupted. “So are we going after him or not.”

The Saints managed to track Tag down and attempted to calm him with the bee guns while Pierce kept singing Aisha songs. This angered Tag further so Jimmy brought in another clone. This was a malformed version of Aisha who managed to calm Tag down.

That didn’t last long as Tag quickly lost interest in the Aisha clone, much to Jimmy’s surprise. Pinkie once again altered the nerd’s fanfic by changing the scenario of the clone getting killed by an SNG attack helicopter to a Professor Genki mascot showing up to deliver a punch to the clone’s gut before running off. He didn’t get very far before Pinkamena decapitated him. The mascot dropped a ton of cash which the madmare helped herself to.

“Thanks for the cash,” Pinkamena said.

“ No problem, BPSWAGB,” Pinkie responded.

“Huh?”

“Big Pie Sister Who’s A Gang Boss.”

“Heh, figures you’d eventually use one of those long acronyms on me.”

Despite the setback, Jimmy had another plan to get Tag to calm down. In the meantime, Pierce was tasked with escorting the brute Aisha clone back to their headquarters.

Pinkamena, Playa, Johnny and Octavia met back at Jimmy’s house. There was only so much patience left that the Saints had with his whole ordeal.

Just as they met with the fanfic writer, Tag showed up and bowled everyone over before taking Johnny and ran off.

While Playa was knocked out, Pinkamena noticed Jimmy exiting his house with a few cans of Saints Flow. He forced one drink down the unconscious Saint’s throat and gave the rest to the other two.

“Here, drink these. They’ll give you superpowers.”

“Can this fanfic get any more nonsensical?” Pinkamena asked.

“Don’t worry Mena, it’s just fanfiction. It can be as canon or non-canon as you want. Besides, I can rewrite his story to help you out if you need it and it’s a good way to introduce you to what’s to come in SR4.”

Pinkamena decided to trust her sister on the matter. Pinkamena and Octavia used their teeth to open the cans and drank the contents. Both felt the boost in speed and strength and ran off in Tag’s direction without saying another word.

Pinkamena decided to forgo the writing out of the Steelport Guard in favor of testing out her new powers. The first group of troops were in a suburban neighborhood and were using some strange sound to lure out Tag.

Pinkamena started her test by lifting a house off its foundation and used it as a massive blunt object to smash soldiers and vehicles alike. Octavia was trying to go along with everything despite how ridiculous the whole scenario appeared. One thing the musical mare was sure about, she would only read stories from accredited authors from now on.

Jimmy directed the duo to a Morningstar ambush at Planet Saints which they decimated when Pinkie wrote in an AT Rifle for Octavia which allowed her to destroy groups of enemies with explosive, armor-penetrating rounds. Pinkamena jumped upward and grabbed a helicopter by the tail and used it as a club.

After the ambush was routed, Johnny called the mares and told him his location so they could share in the carnage to come.

On the way there, the Saints Flow started to wear off and the two were starting to feel a little groggy. Pinkamena pulled out another two cans of irradiated Saints Flow and tossed one to Octavia.

“What? Where did you get those? I only made three,” Narrating Jimmy claimed.

“You do realize that your fanfic has been hijacked, right?” Pinkamena responded.

Recharged, the two mares headed to the besieged bridge where they started tearing through military forces. When enemy helicopters took to the air, Pinkamena reached into her mane and pulled out Rainbow Dash who was completely confused about where she was. Pinkamena ordered her to grab Octavia and take to the skies which didn’t help her confusion. Before Dash took off however, she made the confused mare drink a can of Saints Flow to make sure she could handle the task while Octavia blasted everything from the sky.

Once the military gave up, Rainbow Dash landed and was about to ask for an explanation before Pinkamena grabbed her and stuffed her back into her mane.

Pinkamena ran up the bridge to get to where Johnny and Tag were. By the time she got there, Johnny had already calmed Tag down.

With the clone in a better state of mind, Pinkamena consulted with Pinkie about what would be the takeaway from this little side adventure. Any damage to the city, people and vehicles would have to be considered non-canon as well as the irradiated Saints Flow and the clones since keeping the two of them taken care of would be a big hassle. Pinkie would allow the bee gun to be canon since that would be a funny story to tell Fluttershy one day.

The cloning machine in Jimmy’s room would be removed and tossed into the water after making sure the device was beyond repair. After Pinkamena told Jimmy’s mom about the damage his clones caused as well as the fact that he borrowed her car without her permission, Jimmy was grounded until he finished high school.

With his fanfic ruined, Jimmy shredded it and spent his time grounded writing his next Saints fanfic, vowing to never drag the actual Saints into his stories again.

Rainbow Dash woke up in her bed in her cloud home. After rubbing her eyes with her hooves, she looked at her clock and realized that it was still too early to get up.

After the weird dream she had, she vowed to never drink cider before bed again.

Mayhem and Murder

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A few days later, Pinkamena awoke feeling energetic about the day. Today was the first of two major events that would occur today and tomorrow. Today was the start of Genkibowl VII and Playa and Johnny were ready to face the series of activities that the event offered.

Tomorrow would be Murderbrawl XXXI, an event that Killbane would definitely attend and would be the perfect opportunity and the best stage available for eliminating the last of the Syndicate leadership. With Viola defected and Matt having fled town, only the thuggish Eddie “Killbane” Pryor was left to lead what had been reduced from a criminal organization to a mere street gang.

Before Killbane could be faced in the ring though, preparations had to be made. One of them was the assurance that the Luchador leader would fight Playa and Angel in the ring. The other was to collect Angel’s mask from the bowels of the Luchador stronghold.

Playa decided to hold a meeting at the Broken Shillelagh. With that, Pinkamena gathered up her crew and headed to the pub.

Once everyone was gathered at a couple of tables, Playa began the meeting. Viola, Shaundi, Pierce and Johnny were in attendance along with the Equestrians..

“Alright, I’m gonna keep this simple, I want Killbane.”

“You wanna hurt Killbane, you gotta hurt his reputation,” Viola offered.

“And how do we do that?”

“Take Killbane’s mask and all that’s left is Eddie Pryor. It’s worse than killing him.”

“This is more Angel’s thing.”

“Killbane would never agree to fight Angel.”

“He’s more scared of Angel than me?”

“Pinkamena is far scarier than you. I saw the footage of her work. Compared to that, you’re just ridiculous.” The other Saints voiced their agreement which made Playa roll his eyes.

“So why not just throw Pinkamena into the ring?” Playa offered.

“Channel Six has me doing stuff as per my contract with them. I will be commenting on Genkibowl along with their other event commentator, Tammy Tolliver. So I’m gonna be a little busy,” Pinkamena explained.

“Right, there’s that to deal with too.”

“Relax man, we’ll make it the most memorable carnage ever shown on television,” Johnny said.

“Besides, you gonna look hot in a Speedo,” Pierce added.

Playa steered the conversation back on course. “So how are we gonna get Killbane to fight me?”

“Angel said we gotta take out the competition and make it look like an accident,”

“Why do we need to do that?”

“If people find out we killed a bunch of participants in Murderbrawl, they ain’t gonna let you in on account of you riggin’ the game in your favor. Instead the plan is to take control of their cars and make it look like they got a sudden fit of crazy.”

“And how do we do that?”

“I got the answer to that,” Vinyl said as she pulled out her RC Possessor, the device appearing like it had a few modifications from the normal model. “This has a much longer range than the regular model.”

Pinkamena added, “All the same, we can’t have you involved in the sabotage. We need to make it look like you had nothing to do with those accidents while we make it look like we were testing out a new weapon and those other wrestlers were conveniently there when we were testing the weapon. For that, I want Gilda and Vinyl sabotaging the cars; make them act like a pony on a salt high.” She turned to the two in question. “Angel will update you on the targets. Once the competitors are gone, Playa will issue a challenge for his mask in front of Killbane’s next press conference which should be in an hour so we need to hurry and get it done.

“Everyone else will be on standby as we get ready to raid the 3 Count Casino stronghold of the Luchadores and retake Angel’s mask.” Pinkamena put a hoof to her chin as she attempted to remember anything she missed before it came to her. “There’s a long intermission period in between the first two and last two Genkibowl events. That period is when we will attack the casino so be ready by then.”

With the assignments given, everyone left the pub and set forth to complete their tasks.

As demeaning as it was to the griffon, Gilda allowed Vinyl to ride on her back as she flew to the last known location of the first of the Murderbrawl contenders, Mad Mangler Merle Roberts. Angel gave a detailed description of the wrestler’s car and Gilda was soon able to find it. She had to help Vinyl locate the correct car herself but was able to quickly take control of the car once she knew what her target was. Since she needed the car to drive around like Playa was driving it, she had it moving on sidewalks and crushing pedestrians before she drove it into a fuel truck, destroying everything in a large area.

Angel informed the duo that the next target, Christopher “The Clubber” Johnson, was attending a beach party near Magarac Island. Vinyl took control of one of the speedboats offshore and steered it into the party, killing a lot of party goers and Christopher.

Trashcan Teddy was flying in a helicopter while touring the city. Vinyl had Gilda fly to a STAG base where they conveniently located El Presidente getting into a tank. Vinyl took control of the tank and drove it into the city while tearing up property in order to aggravate the cops. Once the tank had a clear shot of Teddy’s helicopter, it fired its cannon and caused the small flying vehicle to crash into the streets in a smoldering heap.

STAG wasn’t sure who was driving the tank but suspected that a Saint was driving it so the army unleashed a massive barrage upon the armored vehicle and annihilated it, ending El Presidente’s career in a tragic way.

Playa issued his challenge to Killbane shortly after the last of the competition was killed.

Until the actual contest began, Playa had a Genki competition to complete with Johnny.

“Hello sports fans and welcome to the craziest, wildest, bloodiest extravaganza outside of Juarez - Genkibowl VII! I’m Zach, and you all know my tag team partner, Bobby and special guest, Pinkamena! Bobby - previous Genkibowls have had no lack of surprises!”

“Of the nastiest sort, Zach. And this year will be no different. Murder, mayhem, and fun are all just a big part of any Genkibowl. And the genius man-cat has cooked up an exciting list of never before seen events that promise to be even deadlier than anything we’ve ever seen before!”

“Worse than the Grizzly Bear Rodeo from Genkibowl IV?”

“There is absolutely no doubt about it.”

“Wow - I’m actually salivating. Oh my goodness! And as an added bonus, Bobby, we have the leader of the Third Street Saints and fan favorite, Johnny Gat taking part in the festivities. Think they can keep the winning streak going?”

“We’re about to find out. The games are going to begin, so let’s get down there. And when I say down, we mean down - TO THE ACTION!”

“As long as that jungle is stained in blood by the time this is over, then I’ll be satisfied with the carnage,” Pinkamena added.

The first activity, Apocalypse Genki was mostly the same as other instances of Super Ethical Reality climax with the exception of the set being of a jungle scene and the waters had sharks in them. If the Saint’s weren’t careful, they would end up shark food.

It took some time but Playa and Johnny managed to reach the end of the jungle and completed the other instance of the event which was a little harder and subjected Playa to more shocks and burns.

The second activity of Genkibowl featured Playa and Johnny escorting Professor Genki to his adoring fans while blooding up the streets of Steelport. Playa was glad that his poor driving skills were actually a benefit in this case.

With the intermission to show that Genkibowl was halfway over, the Saints got ready for their assault on the Luchador stronghold.

Angel, Playa and Johnny were in attendance for the assault along with the Equestrians.

“You haven’t forgotten your part of the agreement, right?” Angel asked.

Pinkamena rolled her eyes, “Yeah yeah, I’ll uphold my end of the agreement.”

“So where do we start looking for your mask?” Playa asked.

Angel smirked, “We lure out the casino manager by causing havoc.”

Everyone filed in one by one. Once inside, the humans, ponies and griffon started causing a lot of property damage to the casino lobby by smashing many slot machines. Gilda used her nanite claws to tear through the machines while Vinyl used her automatic sonic pulse cannon to cause widespread devastation. Moondancer, who was still reluctant to hurt innocents, grabbed numerous slot machines in her magic and hurled them into other machines while avoiding people.

Eventually, the manager came out and Playa made him tell where Angel’s mask was. The manager directed the Saints to a vault behind the teller cages where a short period of searching revealed a black mask with an elaborate yellow skull face on it. Angel then presented the mask to Pinkamena who, as promised, apologized to it.

Satisfied, Angel put his mask on and then wanted to send a message to Killbane by smashing every statue of him in the casino. This didn’t take long given how fast Gilda and Pinkamena were.

The last thing they needed to do to secure the casino was to secure the casino. While Playa, Johnny and Angel gunned down the regular Luchadors, a number of Oleg clones showed up. Some were unarmed, some had a mini-gun and some carried flamethrowers. Gilda handled the mini-gun brutes while Treehugger, who was immune to fire, handled the brutes with flamethrowers. Gilda’s nanite claws ripped through one mini-gun brute before she grabbed his weapon and started shredding the other Luchadores from the air in the spacious casino. Treehugger handled her brutes by using the thermal grenades provided to her to cause the fuel tanks on their backs to explode. The remaining brutes who were not being attacked by one of her comrades were sniped in the head by Octavia.

Once the Luchadores were cleared out, Playa called in a crew to claim the final stronghold of the Syndicate. At the same time, the Saints had completed their city takeover from the same organization.

With the Luchador stronghold taken, Playa, Johnny and Pinkamena returned to the game show event.

The third event was even more ridiculous than driving around a car designed for murdering people. Many people had to wonder how the studio managed to acquire enough yarn to form two massive balls of yarn for the purpose of crushing vehicles, people, and everything else that didn’t have a solid hold on the ground.

Regardless, the third event was called Sexy Kitten Yarngasm and the purpose of the game was to roll around the city on balls of yarn the size of small buildings and cause enough death and destruction within an allotted amount of time. Pinkamena couldn’t help but feel jealous of the two Saints for being able to smash objects and people in such a fun way.

The fun was amplified when STAG decided to get involved which meant that Playa and Johnny had even more objects and people to crush under tons of wool.

All too soon the event came to an end and the time had come for Genkibowl’s final event. Playa and Johnny were dressed up as Sad Panda mascots. They were brought into the sky by a helicopter and were made to do some skydiving without a parachute. What was surprising was that they were given chainsaws for their venture.

Playa and Johnny had their own skydiving strategies. Johnny would visit the rooftops and use his chainsaw to butcher mascots like they were zombies while Playa, for some reason, chose to attack every Angry Tiger balloon he could find.

“Hey Professor Pinkamena, can you explain the Saints leader’s strategy?” Zach asked.

“If I were to guess, I’d say it has to do with a recent trauma in his life,” Pinkamena answered.

“Care to elaborate?”

“Sure, like I mentioned during a previous episode of Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax, disgraced Luchador, Angel de LaMuerte decided that he would subject him to some very painful training. Part of the regimen included getting run over by a lot of cars, driving around town while baking in a flame suit and the source of his trauma, driving around town with a real irate tiger riding shotgun.”

“An Angry Tiger riding shotgun? Sounds like something from Genkibowl IV. There were a number of animal related events in that one.”

“No no, Zach. You’re referring to Genkibowl V. I remember that event clearly,” Bobby corrected. “Sounds like Angel de LaMuerte is a fan of Genki if he’s using events from previous Genkibowls.”

Whatever their strategy, it worked. Playa’s and Johnny’s combined efforts got them enough points in both rounds of Sad Panda Skydiving before they landed in the location where the closing ceremonies were being held.

Tammy Tolliver interviewed the champions of the annual event and that quickly descended into content not meant for children. Of course, the station would not be held accountable for children who were traumatized or influenced by anything related to the Genki franchise due to their legal protection. During the interview, Pinkamena also mentioned to the viewers to tune in to Murderbrawl as there was going to be an exciting surprise in store.

With Genkibowl VII concluded, the Saints returned to the HQ and rested up for the other competition.

“Tonight’s been a great night and it’s not slowing up, Bobby!”

“An incredible night, Zach, and now it’s time for the main event.”

“I can’t wait! I’m also looking forward to the surprise Professor Pinkamena has in store for us tonight. For now, let’s get started!”

The doors to the arena opened to reveal a certain green-favoring luchador walking proudly toward the single ring in the center. “There he is, Bobby - Eddie ‘Killbane’ Pryor, The Walking Apocalypse himself. You can’t help but wonder how the Stilwater Butcher can compete.”

“Wait a minute, Zach - didn’t Professor Pinkamena own that title?”

“Sure did, she was gracious enough to give the title to the leader of the Third Street Saints like an old hand-me-down rag.”

“I gotta say, Zach - Killbane is a complete whackjob. You know, when this guy came out of the womb he literally choked out the doctor with his own umbilical cord, he’s that fucking sick.”

As Playa walked into the arena, the crowd showed no love for the Saint but that didn’t matter because he was only the support for the real star of the show.

“Well, there it is Bobby - the Saints, receiving no love here…”

“Not at all - it is raining hate down where they are. And of course it is; afterr what their capo did to Stilwater, they’re lucky their fans aren’t knifing them on their way to the ring!”

“Hey Volition, If you’re going to make a decent game then proofread your subtitles!” Pinkie yelled. “You guys misspelled ‘after’ by putting another ‘r’ at the end of the word.”

Bobby continued, “WAIT, OH MY GOD! LOOK AT THAT - IT’S ANGEL DE LAMUERTE!”

While Playa was showing off, Angel ran into the ring to face Killbane. Zach and Bobby gave some details about Angel such as his achievements, how he was called the Herald of the Walking Apocalypse and how he disappeared after his questionable loss to Killbane years ago.

In response to Angel’s appearance, Killbane called in his Luchadores to assist him. Playa held off the army of masked wrestlers while Angel faced his former partner.

Unfortunately, Angel’s efforts didn’t pay off as Killbane threw him out of the ring to get pummeled by his luchadores. An audience member decided that he wanted to see some bloody violence so he threw down a chainsaw for Playa to use. It was a repeat of what Johnny did to mascots on rooftops during Genkibowl as Playa brutally dismembered luchadoes to get them off Angel. The audience was eating up the mayhem as the arena was painted in Luchador blood.

The damage from Killbane and the Luchadores ended up breaking Angel’s leg, but he wasn’t too proud to refuse Playa’s intervention in the ring to finish off Killbane.

The two dueled using their own styles of fighting and Playa proved too elusive for the Luchador leader as he evaded Killbane’s patented “Killswitch” technique which led to a series of reversals that ultimately ended with Killbane too exhausted to break from a headlock that Playa had him in.

Killbane begged to have his mask spared in exchange for the secret to his Apoca-Fist. Playa decided to stick to the plan and spare his mask. Getting a pair of gloves that let him punch hard was icing on the cake for what was to come.

Killbane retreated backstage to scream and rage from his defeat. His fellow Luchadors tried to console him.

Meanwhile, Playa and Angel were celebrating their victory while openly mocking Killbane. hoping he can hear them.

“Guess that ends the festivities for tonight, Bobby,” Zach said.

“Too bad, I was really hoping to see what Professor Pinkamena had in mind.”

Suddenly, the sounds of loud impacts and breaking bones could be heard backstage.

“I think we spoke too soon, Bobby. Something is going on backstage.”

“Could it be…?”

Killbane came flying back into the arena and slammed unceremoniously into the edge of the ring.

“Hello, Eddie,” came a familiar high-pitched voice from where he was thrown from. Pinkamena, wearing her lab coat, entered the arena while walking on her hind legs while brandishing her Knightmare hobby horse. Her wide evil smile was on full display for the viewing public. The audience looked away in fright.

Bobby continued, “It is! Professor Pinkamena has graced this unworthy audience with her glorious presence!”

“I can’t wait to see what brutality she has in store for Killbane, Bobby.”

Killbane groaned as he got up and shouted at the madmare, “I’m gonna make you pay for that! I’m gonna crush every bone in your body and I’m gonna make you beg for mercy before I slowly torture you to death! I’m gonna--”

Before Killbane could finish his trash talk, Pinkamena dashed forward faster than anyone could see and pulled the wrestler’s mask from his head. “You can keep trash talking if you want but I have things to do to you before the day is over. First of all…” Pinkamena held up Killbane’s smelly mask for the audience to see. Many were in awe about what happened. Eddie Pryor was seen as completely bald, an extension to the shame of losing one’s mask in the tradition of lucha libre. The madmare added further insult by tossing the mask in the direction of where Treehugger was waiting to fulfill her part of the plan. The pyromaniac pulled out her flamethrower and set Killbane’s mask on fire. The former symbol of Killbane’s identity as a masked wrestler landed on the floor in a smoldering heap. Eddie could only watch as his most prized possession burned away.

Eddie ran toward Pinkamena with a crazed look in his eyes as he attempted to use his most lethal moves on her. Pinkamena countered by jumping toward him and spinning in mid air while delivering a hard punch to his gut, causing his eyes to bulge and sending the wrestler flying to the other side of the arena.

Eddie held his aching gut before coughing up blood. “How does something so small hit so hard?” Eddie asked.

“Welcome to Murderbrawl, Eddie,” Pinkamena responded. “This is my first publicly televised execution of one of my more memorable victims. That internal injury you just sustained is just the beginning of your torture, Eddie. I’m gonna make you suffer double for stealing my DeWynter sisters kill.”

Eddie called in the remainder of the Luchadors who attended Murderbrawl in a last ditch effort to stop the madmare but each entrance was well guarded. The north was guarded by Treehugger and her flamethrower, the east by Gilda and her nanite claws, the south by Vinyl and her sonic weapon, and the west by Moondancer with her horn crackling with lightning magic.

Eddie made the mistake of bringing only his hands to a fight with Pinkamena. When the fight began, Eddie once again attempted to use his wrestling moves on her only for her to use his momentum against him as she grabbed his left arm and brought it behind him before he lost his footing and fell to the floor. Pinkamena then proceeded to slam a hoof into the humerus bone of that arm, shattering it.

Eddie screamed in agony before the madmare grabbed his right arm and brought it behind him from a bad angle and dislocated it from his shoulder.

While Eddie tried to get up, Pinkamena pulled out her grapple gun and rose to the ceiling of the arena. Tensing her hind legs with the full brunt of her earth pony strength, she kicked from the ceiling and created a hole in the ceiling as she launched herself to the arena floor where Eddie remained. The wrestler was unable to escape in time as the madmare landed hard on his spine with her forehooves, shattering the lower part of it and rendering Eddie a paraplegic. The impact left a large crater in the arena floor

Pinkamena followed up by landing beside Eddie’s left side then turned her rear hooves toward the suffering wrestler and bucking him hard in the ribs, sending him flying into a wall and shattering his ribs. Eddie coughed up a lot of blood as the madmare delivered more damage to his internal organs.

“Pinkamena, I believe that now would be the time to finish him while you still have the favor of the crowd,” Octavia suggested from the audience.

Pinkamena thought about it for a moment before nodding and signalling for another chainsaw. One of the audience members gladly tossed one to her before she gave one last mad smile to the Luchador leader before cutting him down from the middle of his face down to between his legs, trying to make the pieces as symmetrical as she could.

The crowd roared in excitement as the match came to a glorious and bloody conclusion.

“There it is folks, Eddie “Killbane” Pryor, in one night, goes from top of the heap as The Walking Apocalypse to an unmasked, disgraced, shattered and splattered mess on the arena floor. We have come to the end of this year’s Murderbrawl and it may just go down as the bloodiest, messiest, downright brutal Murderbrawl in history,” Zach announced.

“Professor Genki is pleased to have witnessed this bloodshed,” Bobby said as a spotlight moved to shine on a certain pink man-cat who was applauding the performance.

“As we bring an end to this year’s Murderbrawl, we at Channel Six would like to thank our sponsors for helping make this event happen for thirty-one years. This has been Zach.”

“And Bobby.”

“Till next time,” they said in unison.

Paramilitary Terrorism

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The Saints were in eager anticipation for what was to come. With the leaders gone, the lieutenants and remnants of the Syndicate were all that was left. The gang was pretty much finished. Any remaining Morningstar, Deckers or Luchadores would likely scramble for the empty leadership spots and launch one last attack on STAG or the Saints before they went out in a blaze of glory.

The only real threat remaining was STAG. Without the added distraction of the Syndicate, the paramilitary group would be turning their full attention upon the Saints once the Syndicate remnants were taken out.

STAG had their own problems though. The Saints kidnapped Josh Birk, and cleaned up the zombie gas mess that the paramilitary group not only failed to clean up but caused the mess in the first place when they brought those canisters to Steelport, even if Playa was partly responsible too since he blew up the plane carrying the gas. Adding to the destruction of their aircraft carrier, Senator Monica Hughes was likely losing faith in them as well as her patience. If STAG was zealous about dealing with gangs, they would likely end up getting desperate at this point.

After Pinkamena killed Eddie “Killbane” Pryor, Angel de LaMuerte had decided to move on and resume his career as a professional masked wrestler.

Pinkamena was watching the television which was displaying the highlights of yesterday’s Murderbrawl XXXI. Zach and Bobby were delivering the post-commentary of the event. There was less mention of what happened inside the ring than what happened outside of it. The duo was especially excited about what Playa did to a number of Luchadores with a chainsaw before he took Angel’s place in the ring and beat Killbane into submission.

What happened afterward had the two really excited when Pinkamena came in and removed his mask before having it destroyed. The level of excitement from the two only increased as the madmare literally destroyed him from the inside out through internal injuries and broken bones. She broke his spirit before she broke his body. Zach and Bobby were so excited about the finale with the chainsaw finisher that Pinkamena could almost swear that the two had an orgasm on national television.

As Pinkamena turned off the television, she saw Moondancer in a reflection of the device. The unicorn was behaving suspiciously as she looked around with what appeared to be a DVD held in her magic. When she teleported away, Pinkamena decided to check the unicorn’s room. Listening for anything happening on the other side of the door, Pinkamena confirmed that the oddly behaving unicorn was in her room.

Feeling curious, the madmare decided to listen to what was going on. She soon heard what sounded like the events of yesterday’s Muderbrawl. However, the playback stopped for a minute before it resumed at the part where Zach and Bobby were excitedly discussing what happened after Playa spared Killbane’s mask.

However, the interesting part was what else she was hearing while the madmare was hearing the sounds of her torturing of Eddie. She could hear Moondancer moaning and gasping. Pinkamena easily pieced together what was going on in there.

“Is she getting off on me torturing someone?” Pinkamena thought. Now that she thought about it, she did remember seeing the nerdy mare looking up BDSM on the internet. She also realized that she had no idea what prompted her to even look up the Genki website when she mentioned seeing her older projects. She smirked as she thought, “I think it’s time to take Moondancer out of the closet.”

Pinkamena’s knock on the door was received with the expected reaction of a shout of surprise followed by a frantic deactivating of her television. There was also some awkward crashing and banging along with the hum of a unicorn’s magic doing what the madmare believed was an attempted fixing of a mess caused by said crashing and banging. Pinkamena suppressed a giggle as she thought about how cute Moondancer’s reaction was.

Moondancer finally opened her door a couple of minutes later to greet Pinkamena. “Uh, hey. You didn’t...hear anything, did you?”

Pinkamena didn’t try to suppress her giggling this time, ending with a devious smirk. “I think we both know the answer to that.” Moondancer’s face soon matched her mane color.

The unicorn’s expression turned to a scandalized look, “You were eavesdropping, weren’t you?”

“See above.”

Moondancer broke into a fit of incomprehensible stuttering. Pinkamena put a hoof to her mouth before moving to the television to turn it back on to display Pinkamena’s carnage. “Cutting people up with a chainsaw. Last time I had that kind of fun was during an episode of FUZZ. I took part in a few episodes, they let me keep a copy of them. You can borrow those if you want.”

Moondancer smiled. “I...I’d like that.”

“So, how long have you been into this?” Pinkamena asked.

“Umm…”

“Be honest, I’m not gonna judge you. Not like I could anyway, given my sadistic streak.”

Moondancer’s blush deepened. “Since I was in my first year at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.”

“Really? Huh, I guess you hid it pretty well.”

“Not really, I was...interested...when I saw somepony bullying another violently, I guess that was the first time I felt aroused. Though I didn’t realize it at the time because of how young I was. I was like that for the first two years. Sometimes I would trick some pony into beating another just so I could feel that feeling again.

“Eventually, the staff caught on to my antics and threatened to expel me if I didn’t stop inciting violence. Since then I’ve been trying to distract myself with my studies. I met Minuette, Lemon Hearts, Twinkleshine, Lyra and...Twilight. Occasionally, I would fantasize them getting into an argument that would turn violent, not that I could share that information given that I was living in Canterlot.”

Pinkamena snorted amusedly, “Yeah, the capital city of prudes.” The two shared a laugh together.

Moondancer calmed down and continued. “After we graduated school, I couldn’t find a career that interested me. Plus, fighting my baser urges had only made me more irritable to the point that I may have overreacted when Twilight rejected my invitation to that birthday party years ago. It still hurt, but I probably could have taken it better, since the fate of Equestria was at stake at the time.”

“So the fact that you admire my personality and confidence while you clearly have a fetish for murder and torture, and the fact that you clearly skipped the video to the part where I tortured Killbane, I might think you have a crush on me.”

Moondancer’s silence was all the madmare needed to know. Pinkamena arched an eyebrow.

“You have to be pretty fucked up to be into a psychopath like me.” Seeing Moondancer becoming crestfallen, Pinkemena let out a sigh. “But if you’re serious about your feelings toward me, I’m willing to give a relationship a shot.” Moondancer quickly perked up, her heart filled with hope. “Don’t make me regret this, you know how I am.”

Moondancer quickly rushed forward and pulled the madmare into a hug. Pinkamena was surprised at first but soon returned the hug.

Several passionate hours passed in Moondancer’s room.

The two mares emerged from Moondancer’s room a few hours later and returned to the lobby of the penthouse HQ. It didn’t take long for the other Equestrians to find out what transpired based on the scent. Octavia rolled her eyes and silently gave five grand to her victoriously smirking DJ marefriend. Treehugger simply smiled, feeling happy for the new couple. Gilda did feel happy for the two but did her best not to show it; she still had her pride to think of.

Pierce was once again playing chess with Oleg. During the game he called Playa, who had just finished the last of the challenges offered to him, and had him come back to the hideout.

Playa returned to hear what Pierce wanted to tell him, which was that the screening for ‘Gangstas in Space’ was going to continue under a different director. Playa would only agree to it if everyone else was on board though. Pinkamena, however, would not take part in that movie because she was not the type of pony to follow the script of others. Though she did encourage Playa to take part in it if the human Saints agreed to it.

That was when the explosions happened.

A STAG VTOL crashed in the pool of the penthouse and alerted the Saints that the city was in chaos. Kinzie called Playa and Pinkamena to let them know that the last of the Syndicate were fighting STAG all over Steelport.

Everyone was deployed to suppress the widespread chaos. Pinkamena’s group worked together to suppress the areas of heaviest fighting. They split up into groups of two to handle the more chaotic areas.

In one area, Vinyl turned several STAG vehicles against the gangs and STAG with her Possessor, but that wasn’t the most dangerous weapon she had with her.

After buying the best turntable she could find in Steelport, Vinyl Scratch was ready to complete the next step in the development of her sonic based weapon. Combining the technology she found in the turntable and Zimos’ autotune microphone, she created a weapon that unleashed sonic pulses in tune to the rhythm of the tracks that she programmed into the weapon. She felt like she could go further with the weapon but there was nothing else that she could use from Steelport or STAG that could help with that so she would have to be satisfied with her new Dubstep Gun for the time being.

Vinyl unleashed musical mayhem as rhythmic sonic waves were unleashed upon the enemy combatants and tearing flesh from the inside out while the vibrations were too much for the vehicles to endure as they exploded. Octavia sniped enemies that got too close to Vinyl while, after considering what happened while the Saints were experiencing Jimmy’s fanfic, she had decided to invest in an AT Rifle to handle armored vehicles.

In another part of the city, Gilda and Treehugger worked together where the griffon would demolish vehicles from above while the pony would roast the gang members and soldiers alive.

In yet another part of the city, Pinkamena butchered every human in the area while Moondancer stole grenade launchers from Luchador specialists and unleashed enough explosive fury that would make Michael Bay weep with joy.

Once the Equestrians were back together, Pinkamena received a call from Playa. “Mena, STAG’s taken Shaundi, Viola and Mayor Reynolds hostage at the Magarac Statue, meet me there right away.”

“STAG’s walking a fine line between gang suppression and domestic terrorism,” Pinkamena stated. “Can they not see that in their zeal that they are becoming hypocrites? Also, please tell me you recorded your conversation with them.”

“Sure, I record all my conversations in case I forget that I need to help one of my crew. Why?”

“After we save Magarac, let me borrow your phone.”

On the way to the statue, Pinkamena asked Moondancer if she knew any good illusion spells. When the unicorn affirmed that she did, the madmare told her new marefriend her latest plan. This plan got Moondancer feeling excited.

At the Magarac Statue, the Saints killed every STAG troop that got in the way while Gilda grabbed the bombs that would be used to demolish the statue and tossed them far away. Vinyl assisted with short bursts from her Dubstep Gun.

Once the bombs were removed, the Saints neared the top of the scaffolding where Kia was holding Shaundi hostage.

“I’m getting deja vu vibes,” Pinkamena commented before looking at Treehugger. “No repeating what happened with Veteran Child.” Treehugger nodded. “Ready Moondancer?”

“Yeah, you want me to do the full illusion, voice and all?”

“Yeah, I’ll make this quick.”

Moondancer lit her horn and Pinkamena’s appearance changed to that of Cyrus Temple. Pinkamena had everyone stay at the bottom of the ramp while she reached the top alone. Kia quickly took notice of the newest company. “C-Commander, sir! Wait, how do I know you’re not a Saint in disguise.”

“It’s over Kia, stand down. Monica Hughes somehow found out what we were attempting. She’ll be here any minute to declare the disbandment of our organization,” Pinkamena said in Temple’s voice.

“What? No! We can’t just give up, Commander. We’re so close to bringing down the Syndicate and the Saints will fall in line soon.”

“Even if we do finish what we started, the Saints would be set free anyway and we will be charged with treason.”

Kia let Shaundi go and fell to her knees while Shaundi ran down the ramp where her fellow Saints waited for her. Pinkamena approached Kia and knelt down in front of her. The two were silent for a moment before the disguised mare spoke in a reassuring tone.

“There is at least one good thing that will come of this.”

“What’s that, sir?”

That was when Kia felt a sharp pressure in her chest. She looked down to see the infamous Vorpal Blade stuck in her chest. The STAG second in command gasped in shock and horror as she realized that was being stabbed in the heart by the psychotic pink pony while she was wearing the face of the man she trusted dearly.

With one last gasp, Kia collapsed onto the floor, never to get up again.

With the task done, Pinkamena broke the illusion and slaughtered the remaining STAG who were on the same floor with her.

Once the Saints reached the bottom of the statue, they were greeted by the real Cyrus Temple and his troops. Before they could arrest them however, Monica Hughes showed up to declare the Saints heroes as that had become public opinion. Temple was outraged with the turn of events but made one last threat in passing before he attempted to leave.

That was when Pinkamena took out Playa’s phone and played back a recent call. Hughes recognized Kia’s voice and while Temple said that he had no involvement with the matter, Pinkamena had other ideas.

:”I studied your lieutenant’s behavior, Cyrus. She seemed surprised to see you on the statue but not about what she was doing to the statue. Funny, it almost seemed as if she knew that you knew. Even if you didn’t know, why didn’t you just radio her to stand down?”

“I wasn’t the one who planted the bombs or kidnapped those two Saints and the mayor.”

“Funny again, I never mentioned any kidnappings.”

Monica Hughes sighed. Now that the proof had been filmed on live television, there was no going back now. She put on an outraged expression before she prepared to deliver the final blow to STAG. “You and your men attempted domestic terrorism in your zeal to take out the Saints? Is this what Capital Hill squandered billions in the most advanced military equipment for? This has gone too far. I’m calling another emergency session to order the disbandment of STAG. We did not give you that funding so you could terrorize our beloved nation.” Monica Hughes walked away with the media in tow.

Temple growled as he glowered at the Saints with pure hatred in his eyes. “This isn’t over…” He then walked away.

A few days after the incident on Magarac Island, the human Saints had just finished filming the sci-fi movie, “Gangsta’s in Space” where they acted out a poorly scripted movie where Playa ultimately “killed” Killbane, or at least the actor posing as him.

The Saints considered sticking around Steelport and making the most of the action in the city before Playa and Pinkamena received a phone call from Mayor Reynolds. This time he sounded concerned.

“Hey, you remember that Cyrus guy who you humiliated on national television? Well Senator Hughes just called to tell me to be on the lookout for a massive flying fortress. Apparently, Cyrus and his men went rogue and are on their way to Steelport to occupy the city. Think you guys can handle it?”

After Reynolds said that, a huge shadow passed over them. Everyone in the area of the city looked up to find the massive flying fortress of a ship hovering over the city. Shortly after making its presence known, the ship opened fire on the city, indiscriminately destroying everything around it. STAG VTOLs deployed and added to the destruction.

Pinkamena needed to find a way to take out that ship. For now she gave her orders, “Vinyl and Moondancer, work with Kinzie and see if you can take that ship out from the inside. Gilda, Playa will likely be looking for a helicopter to take out some of those cannons. Work with him and see if you two can cause some damage together. Octavia and Treehugger, you’re with me.”

“Pinkie, do you have more of those bombs you used to blow up our old room?”

“Yuppers Mena, I got a bunch of them in case I needed to move often. A nice short guy with a funny moustache and a funny looking arm also gave me a few flamethrower turrets.”

“Okay, later we really need to take inventory of what’s in our mane.”

Pinkamena’s group followed Playa to the HQ helipad which conveniently had two helicopters parked on it. Pinkie took the pilot’s seat of one and flew the group to the deck of the Daedalus while Playa took the other helicopter and flew in the same direction with Gilda flying beside him.

While Playa and Gilda were trashing the cannons, Pinkamena, Treehugger and Octavia fought their way through a number of STAG troops. At each location where STAG stored their heavy munitions, Pinkamena placed one of her bombs. Given the effectiveness of the explosives, she only needed to plant two: one for each side of the ship. To defend the bombs from potential de-fusers, Pinkamena also placed two flame turrets to defend the bombs.

Once the bombs were planted, the ponies boarded a VTOL and escaped. During their escape, the group noticed that the STAG VTOLs were starting to act on their own and opened fire on the Daedalus. They also noticed that the ship was starting to rise higher before an intercom announcement had declared that the ship’s self-destruct feature had been activated.

In only a couple of minutes, Pinkamena’s bombs went off and tore the ship in half and the entire ship exploded a minute after that. Debris rained on the city but thankfully the area had been cleared out so only property damage with a margin for a few civilian casualties was expected.

Before the Saints could celebrate their victory, Pinkamena heard a transmission from her VTOL’s radio from Cyrus Temple.

“You think you’ve beaten me? I may have lost the Daedalus but I’ll find a way to bring you and your street thugs down, even if I have to burn down America to do it. Mark my words.”

The transmission ended and Cyrus Temple fled the city in his personal VTOL.

“Just to be sure, we can still kill him, right?” Pinkamena asked Pinkie.

“Yep, but not yet. We still need him for one last thing before you kill him. It might take a while and we will need help from Britain’s MI6 to find him.”

“As long as we kill him in the end, I can wait a little longer.”

Meanwhile in Equestria…

There was no end to Princess Celestia’s stress. The Royal Guard was having troubles containing the gangs in Detrot and there were reports that some members had somehow snuck into other cities and had started recruiting more into their number. The Guard had been doing their best to contain the gangs but they were now being stretched thin.

Another headache was that while Discord admitted to displacing three more ponies in addition to the griffon and Fluttershy’s old friend, there was a report that three more ponies had gone missing and the draconequus denied any involvement in their disappearance. The only clue to the identities of the abducted was that they were important ponies in Pinkie Pie’s life.

In reaction to the latest disappearances, Discord, aided by Celestia and Luna, used every ounce of magic they could muster to transport the Equus system into a pocket dimension to prevent future abductions.

Worse news was that there had been reports from the Tartarus guardians that Tirek was acting up and had begun plotting his escape from the realm.

There was simply no end in sight for Celestia’s woes.

The Last POTUS

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Ever since STAG had disappeared from public view after their foolhardy attempt at occupying Steelport, time had lost all meaning, literally. Pinkie explained to Pinkamena that the reason for this was because Volition had no idea what they were doing when they designed the timeline for Saints Row Four. What seemed like a few years after the incident may be a few days, weeks, months or years moving forward or backward.

Because of this, Pinkie decided to play with the clock that defined the Saints Row timeline.

A few months after the incident in Steelport, the Saints received word from Mayor Reynolds, who was in contact with the international intelligence agencies, that Cyrus Temple, former leader of STAG and current leader of a terrorist cell, had been located in the Middle East.

During those few months, Pinkamena’s and Moondancer’s relationship deepened. A few trips to Safeword had brought the unicorn’s inner dominatrix to the surface. Inflicting pain on the gimps had become surprisingly therapeutic. The stress she had built up over the years was released gradually for each patron she made scream in blissful agony.

The stress relief she received from the BDSM club combined with the frequent sexual activities she had with Pinkamena had a positive effect on Moondancer’s mental health. Her eyesight improved to the point that her glasses were unnecessary and she decided to let her mane hang down like most ponies. Even if she did look like Twilight Sparkle with a palette swap, she didn’t care anymore.

The Saints agreed to meet up with MI6 agent Asha Odekar in a collaborative operation to assassinate the terrorist leader.

On a pair of helicopters, one carrying the human Saints and the other carrying the Equestrians, the two groups communicated with each other. Pierce suspected a set up but Kinzie assured him that they weren’t walking into a trap. Kinzie stated that she, Oleg and Burt Reynolds had worked with Asha before and was certain that the intel they received was good.

The helicopters were signaled by Asha who intentionally shined a light in the pilot’s direction in a pattern.

Once the helicopters hovered in midair, the Saints evacuated their helicopters. Everyone was dressed in jumpsuits for the operation, including the Equestrians who had to have theirs customized for their quadrapedic forms.

Asha kept the matter professional as she stated that they were three minutes behind schedule and they had a lot of ground to cover.

“You’re a real people person, aren’t you?” Pierce remarked.

“I’m sorry, is this a counter terrorist operation or a Saints Flow shoot?” Asha countered.

Shaundi kept things civil with a simple introduction and a handshake. With that, the mission was back on track.

Looking at the group, Asha had to ask, “Did you have to bring so many?”

“You get used to it when you are around the Saints,” Octavia responded.

Asha spotted the sniper rifle on the musical mare’s back. “Are you sure you can handle that weapon?”

Octavia spotted a lookout tower in the distance. Pulling out her rifle, she took aim and fired a round in the distance, hitting the lookout in the head. “Do you like my answer?”

Asha pulled out her binoculars and looked in the direction that she fired, spotting the dead lookout, the MI6 agent whistled in amazement, especially since the mare didn’t use the scope. “Have you ever considered a career in international espionage?”

Octavia sighed, “I did once, until some upstart sabotaged me and turned my superiors against me.”

“Truly unfortunate. If you ever decide to return to that career path, I can put in a good word for you at MI6.”

“I thank you for the kind offer, if I ever truly give up on finding my way back home, I will consider your offer.”

After traveling a distance, the group arrived at the terrorist underground base, the entrance being a hatch. While Asha wanted stealth, the Saints were not subtle. Playa and Pinkamena moved in. While the Saints leader killed the terrorists in one truck, Pinkamena ended the lives of an incoming group faster than Playa ended his group.

With the surface guards dead, the group entered the hatch and into the base.

Once inside, Asha opened a channel to her handler, “Base, are you there? What are we walking into?

“The intelligence I’m looking at suggests--” came a familiar voice.

Asha stopped her handler and had the group hide as she heard a truck approaching.

“Wait a minute. Your handler is-- was that Matt Miller?” Kinzie asked with surprise in her voice.

“Kinzie, save the rivalry for when we’re not trying to be noticed,” Pinkamena admonished.

Asha had everyone be silent as she heard guards ahead. She and Pinkamena worked together to silently kill a pair of guards. While Asha strangled one from behind, Pinkamena stabbed hers in the back of the neck and out their throat before pulling the knife out then holding his head for a horizontal slice, decapitating him.

Asha prompted for Matt to continue. The former Decker leader stated that the nuke the terrorists had in their possession was stashed deep in the compound and it was primed and ready to go. Kinzie added that Cyrus Temple had lost his mind when he got deported from the United States after he was caught as the mastermind of the Magarac Statue bombing, though she never expected for him to ally with terrorists.

“That’s a hypocrite for you,” Pinkamena quipped.

Asha hacked a terminal and opened a pair of blast doors. Once opened, the Saints openly engaged the terrorists before Temple’s voice was heard from the intercoms. Temple went into a monologue about how the Saints ruined America and that the integrity of the nation was ruined by Saints influence so he wanted to blow up Washington DC and start over.

During the trek to the missile silo, the compound was bombed by allied bombers. One bombing run collapsed part of the tunnel, leaving the group to detour.

They soon reached the silo and spotted Temple on a distant part of the catwalk. Playa jumped over and engaged in combat with the renegade soldier. When Temple stabbed the Saints leader with his combat knife, Playa knocked him away. The two each grabbed a rifle and aimed at each other but Playa was quicker on the trigger and shot Temple in the chest, pushing him off the catwalk and into a vat of deadly chemicals.

Before he shed his mortal coil, Temple triggered the launch of the nuke which prompted Playa to rush to the missile and jump on it in order to disable it from the air.

As everyone said their farewells to the Saints leader, thinking he wasn’t walking away from that alive, Pinkamena started heading to the compound exit. “Well, I’m hungry, who wants to try arabian food?”

“Girl, you even feel a little sad our boss is sacrificing himself?” Pierce asked.

Pinkamena rolled her eyes. “He survived two skydives without a parachute and while enemies were firing their weapons at him. I think you’re forgetting how resourceful he is.”

“Yeah but--”

“So, since we’re in the Middle East, might as well try out the food here.”

“She does have a point,” Asha cut in. “Until we can confirm his status, there’s no reason to worry about it until then.”

With that, everyone left the base and waited for extraction. Pinkamena convinced the pilot to land them in the nearest town with a restaurant where they enjoyed the cuisine before they headed back home.

Life took a strange turn after the Saints thwarted Cyrus Temple. When Playa disabled the nuke aimed for Washington DC, he literally landed in the seat meant for the President of the United States. Nobody knew how it happened because what happened seemed like a blur, but Playa somehow won a political race and somehow ended up elected as the actual President of the United States.

Since then, Playa picked his cabinet based on people he knew. Johnny became the Secretary of Defense, which made the federal staff tremble in fear, Shaundi became the director of the Secret Service, Pierce became the Communications Director, Kinzie became the White House Press Secretary, Oleg became Playa’s personal bodyguard.

When selecting his Chief of Staff, Playa called up Benjamin King, the former leader of the Vice Kings, to step up and take the position. King wanted to be sure Playa didn’t burn the nation to the ground with his ineptitude toward politics.

During the election, Playa ended up selecting a voice actor named Keith David as his running mate. Everyone but Playa seemed to know that Keith was the same guy who voiced the former leader of the Saints, Julius Little.

While Pinkamena and her friends had been offered positions, the Equestrians were legally not allowed to take any political office on account of their undocumented alien status. Instead, they were allowed to live in the White House as long as Playa remained President.

The days after the election dragged on without incident and Pinkamena was really bored. Even with Playa’s unorthodox method of leading a nation and his speeches making him less popular each time. This was why Pinkamena preferred to avoid public politics; it was simply a different world compared to leading a criminal organization.

Even with his friends trying to help him become a better leader, Playa had no idea what he was doing and many of his friends were having similar problems with their own positions. Ben and Pierce tried to convince Playa that there was a problem but the President wouldn’t listen to them, believing everything was fine.

Playa had a press conference to attend. On the way, Keith David gave him a choice of which bill to pass through the legislature: cure cancer or end world hunger. Playa decided on ending world hunger.

A congressman stepped in front of Playa to threaten to use a typical political delay tactic to prevent any of Playa’s policies from getting through Congress. Playa retorted with a punch to his groin and one for his face.

Josh Birk invited Playa to watch some NyteBlayde with him and Oleg. Playa accepted the invitation.

A screaming fan made a mad dash toward the President and was kicked away by Oleg.

While Kinzie was trying to mollify the press with a bored expression on her face, Shaundi let Playa know that Asha and Matt were waiting for him in the Oval Office to warn him that an alien invasion was imminent.

That was when the roof of the building exploded. A group of pale-skinned aliens with stubby spikes for hair and wearing black and red armor floated down to secure the area.

One alien who wore more armor than the others and was almost the size of two adult humans greeted the scared people with a bored expression, “Hello, humans.”

The alien landed on the stage to make an announcement in dramatic fashion, “Ladies and gentlemen this is not a time for fear, but a time for celebration. Today, the best and brightest among you will find salvation within the Zin Empire.”

The alien started by abducting Kinzie. The Secret Service tackled Playa to protect him and prevented him from trying to rescue the press secretary while Shaundi leapt at the alien leader. She was grabbed by the neck by his large hand and held up to his face. “I do love your spirit my dear. I’m Zinyak, pleasure to meet you. Would you like to join me for a ride?” He shook her vertically to make it seem like Shaundi was nodding before she was teleported away along with Zinyak.

Pinkamena and her crew were curious about what was going on. When the attacks started, she and her friends sprang into action to slaughter the alien invaders. While the number of enemies were few, they were not prepared when people were being abducted.

Pinkamena’s friends were pulled into tractor beams one by one, each one with a look of horror on their faces as they disappeared.

Zinyak then teleported in front of Pinkamena when she was alone and quickly grabbed her by the neck before she could react. He held her up to his head before he spoke, “I have not forgotten what you did not too long ago. You may have caught me by surprise back then, but this time you are afforded no such advantage. My forces have taken Mister Gat and with him under control, nothing will stop me from conquering the universe.”

Pinkamena couldn’t reach for the Vorpal Blade in her mane and could only glower at Zinyak.

Zinyak continued, “And with you in my prison, I shall take your world as well.”

A red light filled Pinkamena’s vision before she lost consciousness.

Into the Virtual World

View Online

Pinkamena awoke in a familiar place. Around her was darkness; the same darkness that she witnessed for ten years. She tried moving her limbs and just like she figured, she couldn’t. The same familiar chains bound her to the ten year hell she had endured.

The madmare had called out to Pinkie but she received no response.

The only thing that pierced the darkness was the same view of the world of Equus from her sister’s eyes.

Her mind tried to process what had happened. The last thing she remembered was being grabbed by the alien leader, Zinyak. After some monologuing from him, she saw a red light and the next thing she knew, she was here.

Either Zinyak had somehow found a way to reseal her in Pinkie’s mind, or she was living a continuous nightmare that she may never be able to wake from. Either case was bad news for her as she was forced to watch Pinkie and her friends go on Y rated adventures with Pinkie showing no signs of the stress that weakened her prison before.

For the first time in her life, Pinkamena feared that she would be stuck this way forever.

“Hey Mena!” said Pinkie’s cheerful voice.

At first the madmare thought it came from what she was watching but the voice called out again, this time with a hoof waving in her face, “Yoo-hoo, Mena...Equus to Mena…”

That pulled Pinkamena out of her inner thoughts as her attention was drawn to her sister who was trying to get her attention. “Pinkie? What are you doing here? I thought you were out there.”

Pinkie giggled, “Silly, that’s not me. We’re kinda trapped in a virtual simulation that Zinyak made for us to prey on our worst fears.” She looked through the window for a minute before commenting, “Huh, doesn’t seem too bad. Though given what I know about you, it’s gotta be really boring, huh?”

Pinkamena chucked. “You can say that again. So how come you didn’t end up in a nightmare?”

“Dunno, maybe Zin technology wasn’t designed to deal with a two-minded individual.”

“I guess. So, know how we can get out of this?”

Pinkie’s ears drooped. “No, I tried talking to the simulated Pinkie but she treats it like I’m talking nonsense.”

“Wait, you can talk to the simulation?”

“Yuppers, but I can’t seem to get her to help us.”

Pinkamena now knew what her sister needed to do to free them. The problem was that it went against everything about how she was. Unfortunately, as far as the madmare could tell, their only key to freedom was in Pinkie’s hooves.

With a resigned sigh, Pinkamena told her sister what she needed to do. “Pinkie, if we’re going to get out of here, I need you to be mean. I need you to be brutal to the other Pinkie and do as much damage to her self esteem as you can.”

“What? But Mena…”

“No buts, we can’t stay in this prison forever. Our friends are waiting for us. If we are to be free, you have to go against everything you stand for to free us. I know this is a lot to ask of you, but you’re our only hope of getting us out of this. I’ll tell you things to tell the Pinkie out there to help you out.”

Pinkie was filled with grim determination as she began talking to the virtual Pinkie. Using insults supplied by Pinkamena, Pinkie relayed them to her virtual counterpart. The simulation had no idea why she was thinking such bad thoughts. At first, she shrugged them off but the real Pinkie’s mean words started to wear on her psyche. Pinkie’s virtual friends tried to cheer her up but they couldn’t be there for her every hour as her lonely moments and growing dark thoughts had an effect on her sanity.

As virtual Pinkie started losing her grasp on her sanity, Pinkamena’s prison weakened. As Simulation Pinkie’s mind teetered on the edge of insanity, the madmare broke free and reasserted control of her body.

“Okay, I’m out. Now--”

“And your cooking skills are terrible and your jokes are so lame that ponies only laugh out of sympathy. What made you think leaving the rock farm was a good--”

“PINKIE!”

“Huh?”

“It’s okay, you accomplished your task, now it’s my turn.”

“Oh good, I was starting to worry that the mean things I said were actually true.”

Pinkamena sighed, “No, they’re not true. You are the best joke teller in all of Ponyville and a valuable asset to the morale of the town. Your baking skills could still use some work though.”

“Hey!”

There was a slight pause before the two broke into a short fit of laughter before Pinkamena spoke, “Thanks for breaking us out.”

“No problemo, glad I can help.”

Pinkamena needed to find a way out of the simulation and the only way she could think of would be to cause chaos. If her very brief lessons on computers with Kinzie had taught her anything, too much chaos in a computerized system would make it crash.

And she had just the idea on how to do so.

In the Everfree Forest, Pinkamena headed for her objective.

“Where the brambles were thickest, there you will find
A pond beyond the most twisted of vines.”

Following the story from her Nana, she found the pool she was looking for. She stared at her own reflection.

“And into her own reflection she stared,
Yearning for one whose reflection she shared,
And solemnly sweared not to be scared,
At the prospect of being doubly mared.”

Pinkamena pulled a reflection of herself out of the water. The reflection stared blankly at her. Pinkamena had the reflection help her make more of her and soon had a large number of Pinkamena reflections repeating the same motions.

After the first dozen batches, the next batches after were given a different order, “Time for the reason you were all made. Go out and slaughter every pony who is not Pinkamena Diane Pie!”

The army of Pinkamenas pulled out kitchen knives and exited the cave to turn all of Equestria into a bloodbath all while repeating the word “kill”. Meanwhile, more Pinkamenas were being made and sent out on quests for blood.

Ponyville was first, the citizens were quickly overrun by equicidal pink ponies, including the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. None were spared as virtual Equestria was flooded by an endless tide of pink death.

The endless generation of data caused by the limitless Pinkamenas began to strain the system as the world started to drop in framerate.

The real Pinkamena watched the world slow to a crawl and eventually, her world blacked out.

Pinkamena awoke in a vat of red fluid. She saw Zin trying desperately to fix a problem that had spiraled into the simulated system crashing.

The madmare wasted no time as she pulled her Knightmare out of her mane and smashed the tank open, spilling out her and the red fluid.

Pinkamena noticed the Zin reaching for their weapons, but the madmare was faster as she smashed through the security personnel and turned them into bloody paste.

Once the remainder started firing on her, she put the Knightmare away for her Vorpal Blade. Using her speed and agility, she quickly dismembered the remaining Zin in the room.

A minute after her brief rampage, the tiny communicator, that she and her friends agreed to keep in their ears at all times to keep in contact with Kinzie, activated and was greeted to the familiar mousey voice of the Saints tech specialist.

“Pinkamena come in, do you read me?”

“Yeah, I can hear you.”

“Finally, now listen. All of our friends are trapped in their own simulations in locations all over the Zin mothership. I can’t locate them right now, but with enough time I can. Me, Keith and Johnny were the only ones who escaped capture and managed to hijack one of their ships. I have a lock on your communicator and am coming to get you. I can track your location via the communicator. Follow my directions and meet us at the rendezvous point.”

Pinkamena left the room the Zin were holding her captive and entered a corridor filled with Zin security. Following Kinzie’s instructions, she made turns as instructed while slashing apart every Zin and metallic bipedal machine she came across. Her HUD called the machines Murderbots.

Pinkamena made it to the rendezvous point but Kinzie had not arrived yet. Since she had time to kill, she spent it by butchering every Zin that thought their strength in numbers would help them.

By the time Kinzie’s ship arrived, she had already painted the area in blood. Zin maintenance crews and machines would be looking to get repurposed this day.

With the area cleared for the time being, the ship opened its cargo bay door which was quickly followed by the entry of the pink madmare. With the passenger secured, the ship closed its door and flew off before Zin reinforcements came.

The ship eventually reached safety after fighting off a number of pursuing Zin ships. Once in a relatively safe area, Pinkamena requested an update to their situation.

Johnny began, “Before these alien mothafuckas had the chance to throw me into one of their simulators, I woke up and started crackin’ skulls. Got my hands on a murderbot arm that one was nice enough to let me have.” Johnny brandished a severed murderbot arm. “Found Kinzie bein’ dragged away and rescued her while Keith showed up with this ship. Been lookin’ for a way to rescue the others since.”

Kinzie continued, “We found the boss and you at the same time and after I gave him a little nudge in the right direction, you two started rebelling against your respective simulations simultaneously. Zinyak could only handle one situation at a time and he chose to deal with the President, which is why your escape wasn’t met with interference.”

“So where is he now?” Pinkamena asked.

“After the boss caused his disruption, Zinyak showed up in his simulation and threw him into what he referred to as Simulation 31. It’s a version of Steelport that’s completely under his control.”

“So Playa got thrown into Zinyak’s sandbox?”

“Putting it simply…”

“Do you still have contact with him?”

“I can patch into the simulation and project my voice through the audio system. Right now, I’m helping the boss by making sure he has a fighting chance in the simulation. We can listen to him from here.”

Pinkamena walked up next to Kinzie and watched the screen that showed Playa wearing a sweater vest with a buttoned long sleeve shirt underneath as well as a pair of slacks. Overall, the Saints leader looked like he was dressed for church.

“Kinzie, I hope you have a plan for getting me out of here,” Playa inquired.

“Eventually I will, I’m still trying to figure out the Zin systems. Basic hacks like hooking into the audio system isn’t hard. Trying to disconnect you and find your body, that’s a bit more involved.”

“Couldn’t you at least hack me some better clothes than this?”

“On my list of priorities, that doesn’t even make my top five hundred.”

“I bet you’d say otherwise if you were wearing this.”

“If I was wearing that, I’d be asking you to shoot me in the head.”

Playa spotted a glowing red dome in the distance. Everyone placed the investigation of it on their list of things to do later.

Playa arrived at the designated Friendly Fire in Stanfield which was some distance from the ruins of the old Saints HQ which was where he was at initially. After buying some guns and some gun upgrades with some Cache that Kinzie gave him through her hacking skills, the Zin Police Department showed up to harass the Saints leader. Playa complained that he had Second Amendment rights until Kinzie countered that Zinyak had full control of the simulation and that his rules were the only rules in the simulation.

After Playa had his fun killing simulated cops, Kinzie directed him to a gathering of Zin troops near a strange looking circular device with the same red glow as the rest of the Zin technology. Pinkamena noticed that the gathering appeared similar to the Syndicate gang operations back in the real Steelport and Playa dealt with them just like he would a gang operation.

Once the last Zin near the device was dead, the now unguarded device had changed color from the previous red glow to a blue one. Kinzie noticed the curious look on Pinkamena’s face before she explained, “I wanted to see if I could get into the Zin systems through one of their flashpoint devices. Once the boss took out the security, I was able to hack into it and now I have a little more control of the simulation than before. If we can cause more disruptions in the simulation like this, I can slowly worm my way into their systems.”

“I see, any chance I can help with that?”

“Sure, I can plug you into the simulation with the devices in this room. We only have a few though.”

“Maybe when we rescue Moondancer she might have a way to bring more of us into the simulation.”

“Perhaps, for now we need to find a way to get the boss out of the simulation.”

“Hopefully soon, it doesn't look like he’s going to get any relief from Zin aggression.”

Kinzie’s head snapped back to the screen to find that her “inner sanctum” was merely an ordinary warehouse. She slammed a fist on her knee in frustration. “Dammit! Zinyak removed all signs of the Saints from the Simulation.”

“Here we go again.” Pinkamena rolled her eyes. “Time for another city takeover.”

The End of the World

View Online

“So, when can I get in there?” Pinkamena asked.

“I wouldn’t recommend it. Right now, there’s no way in or out of the simulation short of Zinyak himself letting you in. I’m working on a solution for that right now but I need the boss to disrupt the system enough for me to create a hole in Zinyak’s precious little simulation.” Kinzie explained.

As they spoke, Playa was exploring virtual Steelport. While most of the digital city was the same as the actual one, there were some major differences. For one, most of the old Saints cribs were in a constant state of deconstruction. The Syndicate Tower was replaced with one of Zin construction which was connected to the massive Zin mothership hovering over the city. There were large red domes in six places throughout the city as well as five towers. All Planet Saints stores had been replaced by similar stores called Planet Zin and Image As Designed stores by Imagined as Edges. The Magarac Statue was replaced by a giant Zinyak statue.

Seeing Zinyak’s face all over the simulation only showed Pinkamena how vain the Saints’ newest adversary was.

Since Kinzie wouldn’t do anything about Playa’s appearance that made him look like the host of a certain children’s television series that started up in the 60s, he headed to one of the Planet Zin stores to get some different clothes. Given what he was wearing, he wasn’t too picky. After that, he hijacked a car and customized it at the nearest Rim Jobs because despite being in a virtual reality, he still wanted to drive around in style.

For some reason, or because Kinzie was in the mood for some sick humor, she generated a bat for Playa to use as a melee weapon. The bat was made from a living tentacle.

Once Playa’s vanity had been satisfied for the time being, Kinzie was able to get Playa to focus on his escape from the simulation.

While Playa was exploring the city, Kinzie noticed blue glowing clusters of data all over the city. Given the number of data clusters she saw in one area, she estimated that there may be hundreds of them throughout the city.

“Actually, there are one thousand two hundred and fifty-five data clusters in the simulation.”

“Pinkie said that there are one thousand two hundred and fifty-five data clusters in the simulation,” Pinkamena relayed.

“How does she know that?” Kinzie asked.

“Probably looked at a strategy guide or something.”

“How is that possible?”

“If I were you, I’d ignore the reasoning before you fry your brain trying to make sense of it.”

Kinzie had been with the madmare long enough to know not to use logic with her. At one point during Playa’s presidency, she tried to make sense of the mare which resulted in her going into a logic-induced coma for a few days. Since then, the ex FBI knew better than to try to understand “Pinkie Logic.”

“Anything else she wants to say?”

“Nothing that would spoil upcoming events. I don’t even know what they are.”

“Okay then,” Kinzie said as she turned her attention back to her computer and explained the data clusters to Playa and instructed him to pick them up. She wasn’t sure of their use just yet but figured it wouldn’t hurt her to let him experiment with collecting them. Besides, just seeing them was fuelling her obsessive-compulsive side.

Playa grabbed one of the clusters near Kinzie’s warehouse. When he did, he felt a small surge of power go through him. The feeling quickly subsided before he drove off to the next cluster.

On the way to the next cluster, Playa tried to get Kinzie or Pinkamena to sing along to “Opposites Attract” but was disappointed when both adamantly refused.

When Playa collected the second cluster, Kinzie was able to get a better idea on how the clusters worked when she discovered that the clusters were merging into his avatar’s programming. Kinzie discovered that the clusters could be used to give him abilities or improve upon existing ones.

After three clusters, Playa asked why Zinyak left them lying around while Kinzie explained that the Zin didn’t need them. Playa in his limited understanding was still confused by Kinzie’s explanation until Pinkamena tried her hoof at explaining things.

“Basically, these clusters are coming from Zinyak’s proverbial trash can. Zinyak doesn’t need them because he’s the simulation’s admin. He’s like Matt Miller in the cyberverse: he can just wave a hand and it happens in the simulation. These data clusters are like pieces of trash to Zinyak and no one thinks twice about a piece of trash. This oversight is something we can use to even the playing field against the Zin.”

“Oh, I get it, one’s trash is another’s way to fuck up the other guy,” Playa figured.

Once Playa collected a fourth cluster, Kinzine had him access his HUD and use the clusters to unlock some new abilities. He soon felt the surge of power again and discovered that he could jump much higher and run faster than humanly possible.

To help Playa practice these powers, Kinzie set up a training program. Pinkamena watched him practice and she started developing an understanding about how the powers worked.

Once practice was finished, Kinzie decided to really test his powers by making him race through the district which would cause a disruption in the system.

Just as Kinzie had hoped, Playa’s disruptive behavior had slightly weakened Zinyak’s control over the simulation enough for the hacker to make a little headway into taking control of the reality from the alien overlord.

Now that Playa had some superpowers in the simulation, Kinzie wanted to test them further. The first thing she had the Saints leader do was ascend one of the five towers in the simulation, specifically the one in Ashwood. The trek up the tower took longer than it should have because whether it was driving cars or running and jumping at high speeds, Playa was simply bad at navigating. Pinkamena and Kinzie took turns keeping watch on Playa while the other went to the fridge and enjoyed a nice, cold beverage.

After half an hour of the Saints leader rising and falling to the ground, which led the two to learn that one could not get hurt by falling in the simulation, he finally made it to the top and slammed his fist into the summit which activated the tower.

Pinkamena noticed that Playa had also missed a number of data clusters during his ascent. She would pick them up later when she managed to get in there.

After that, Kinzie wanted to test the lengths that Zinyak would go to make sure the Saints leader stayed alive by using a method that had become a tradition for the Saints: playing in traffic.

The simulation strained itself to make sure Playa stayed alive as he was run over by numerous cars which was what Kinzie was hoping for as she was able to gain a little more control over the simulation.

Another stress test Kinzie had in mind was to find out how much chaos the system could take. The hacker generated a Zin Destructor Tank for Playa to use on a rampage throughout the Bridgeport neighborhood.

The sheer mayhem caused by the tank also placed a strain on the system just like when Playa was taking damage from being hit by cars.

“So, have you come to a conclusion with your tests?” Pinkamena asked.

“I think so, Zinyak built his simulation to be as orderly as it can be. But when chaos is allowed to happen, the simulation is programmed to restore the area to original functionality or reset damaged avatars which takes up processing power. That power is diverted away from its security protocols which gives me a window to take away from the administrator’s influence.”

“I see, and since Zinyak is all about order, he’s unlikely to fix this oversight which means that we can keep causing havoc throughout his precious simulation and there’s little he can do about it except send more of his troops to try to correct the source of chaos.”

Kinzie sighed, “Sometimes I wish you were the boss instead of the simpleton in the simulation.”

“I heard that!” Playa called out.

“Here’s a new toy,” Kinzie said as she generated a semi-auto shotgun for Playa to use. “Have fun.”

“Uhh...thanks?”

While Playa was playing with his new superpowers, Kinzie was hard at work making an exit from the simulation for the Saints leader.

Unfortunately, this left Pinkamena with nothing to do except lounge around and talk to Keith and Johnny for a while. Neither of them had much to say that the madmare had heard before.

Pinkamena was considering pranking the guys before Kinzie made a discovery. The others ran up to the hacker to see what she found.

“These shielded areas are actually large scale versions of the device that the Zin were guarding earlier. The shield probably means that they’re also the more important hardware in the simulation. Each shield generator needs to be shut down before the main hub can be taken out. The generators should be easy to find.”

As Pinkamena watched the screen, Pinkie asked a question. “I don’t get it. How do you find the generators?”

“See those beams heading toward the shield? The beams are redirected through relays. If you trace the beams back, you’ll find the generators.”

Pinkie looked through Pinkamena’s eyes and eventually made the connection, “Ohhhh…I kinda get it.”

“Don’t worry about it. Once we start dealing with hotspots ourselves, I’ll handle things.”

While Playa was alone against a large number of Zin guarding the generators, he was still a decent fighter. After clearing each generator of Zin, he reached his hand into the generator’s control console and started pulling out whatever he could get his hands on.

Once both generators were disabled, Playa leapt off the building he was on and ran toward the central controller of the main hub. The hub had more security than the generators so it took Playa some time to clear out the guards. Once that was done, he started rapidly punching the controller before one last hard punch shut the hotspot down.

However, Playa’s victory was short-lived as the sky turned a deep orange and fire started raining from the sky as a dark-skinned, hulking creature in Zin armor with sharp claws and purple glowing patterns on its skin landed from out of nowhere.

The creature roared in challenge toward Playa. While the Saints leader was eager for another challenge, Kinzie suggested weakening the creature and getting close enough to absorb it. Playa made a sex joke about the creature being inside him in response.

The beast was surprisingly agile for its size which meant that Zinyak had likely given superpowers to it. However, the creature gave Playa plenty of opportunities to use his guns against it and while he used a lot of ammunition, the creature was finally on its knees before the Saints leader literally dove into it and dominated it from the inside.

When the creature was fully dominated, it exploded, leaving an unharmed Playa in its place. The Saints leader received another rush of power for his troubles. “Now that was a rush!” he said.

“Hey it worked,” Kinzie said in surprise.

“Yes, bravo...Perhaps my Wardens underestimated you. I won’t let them make the same mistake twice,” came the voice of Zinyak from nowhere.

The alien overlord was ignored as Playa requested another training simulation so he could test his new power which involved releasing a blast of ice that would freeze people and objects in the blast area, leaving the option to kill someone by shattering them open.

Pinkamena was eager to try the superpowers herself once Kinzie found a way into the simulation. Of course, after what she saw and her experience of being abducted and waking up in a tank, only one sentence could fully describe it.

“Is this entire arc a ripoff from ‘The Matrix’?”

“Now that you mention it, there are a number of similarities to that series based on what we’ve seen so far.” Kinzie noted.

“I hope you aren’t planning on using landline phones to get Playa out of there.”

“No way, if the Zin discovered that method, Zinyak would delete all of the phones from his simulation. Besides, I already have a way to get him out. Thanks to the disruptions in the system, I was able to program a hole into the simulation that can get the boss out and any of us in.

Playa was directed to the gateway in western Stanfield. When he reached a door, he tried opening it to find it locked. When Kinzie told him he was kicking the wrong door, a bright white rectangular object appeared to his right.

“Did you delay the appearance of the gateway on purpose just to mess with him?” Pinkamena asked.

“Maybe…” Kinzie said, trying to look innocent. Pinkamena snickered in response.

Playa was skittish about touching the gateway but Kinzie got impatient and used the gateway to disconnect Playa’s mind from the Zin network.

“That’s done, think your other personality can get us to the boss in time?” Kinzie asked. Pinkamena gave her companion a deadpan stare. “Hey, science still hasn’t proven that two complete minds can co-exist in one body so I want that proven before I accept that.”

Pinkamena rolled her eyes before she allowed Pinkie to take over and take the controls. Kinzie handled navigation while Johnny handled the weapons and Keith monitored the systems.

It took them a few minutes to find the loading dock that Kinzie told Playa to meet them at. The Saints leader was fighting off a large number of Zin before the ship opened fire on the alien horde. The ship turned around and the cargo bay door opened up with Keith ready to grab Playa.

Once aboard, the naked and drenched Saints leader headed to the control room to take control of the ship, only for Kinzie to get in the way.

“Ohh no, you are not going anywhere near the controls as long as Pinkie is here. You march into the bathroom, wash up and put on a jumpsuit.”

While Pinkie was performing evasive maneuvers to escape the Zin ships, Playa was tumbling around the bathroom trying to wash the fluid off. Kinzie cringed as she heard her boss’s shouts of pain. “Probably should have said he should do that after we escape pursuit.”

Despite the tumbling, Playa still managed to get washed and struggled into his jumpsuit.

By the time Playa left the bathroom, the ship had already escaped the Zin mothership. He joined everyone as Keith stated his concerns, “We’re not really leaving the others are we?”

“Hell no,” Playa responded. “But if we’re taking the fight to Zinyak we’ll need all the help we can get. Kinzie, can you get in touch with Oleg?”

“Yeah, we should be in range.”

Inside the Broken Shillelagh, an empty table with a phone on it was ringing with no owner to answer it. A shrouded figure watched the phone with a sad look. He picked up the phone and with a sigh, put it back on the table.

“I wish I could have done better to avert this tragedy. Alas, I can only save a few. It is truly unfortunate that she must share this world’s fate. At least she will be with her sister.”

With sorrowful resignation and a snap, the figure disappeared.

“Voicemail?!” Playa shouted.

“You want me to leave a message?” Kinzie asked.

“Ugh, fin-”

And that was when Earth exploded.

Everyone expressed surprise, including Kinzie who was saddened at the realization that Oleg was dead, before Zinyak sent a transmission to gloat, “Well I’d say this was a productive day.”

“You’re a fucking monster,” Playa growled.

“Oh don’t act surprised. I told you this would happen.”

“You killed seven billion people,” Keith shouted.

“Whoops. Anyway, that takes care of that. When I find Equus again, I shall do the same thing. Of course, for some reason the planet disappeared somehow. No matter, it’s bound to turn up eventually. For now, I will delight in your torment and savor your despair.” The transmission ended.

“Zinyak will be my crowning achievement in the art of murder,” Pinkamena growled. Putting her in that nightmare was one thing, doing the same to her friends only made her want to torture the alien overlord even more. The destruction of Earth and the deaths of several of her human friends made her want to give Zinyak a slow and painful death. Becoming a threat to Equus meant that she would find a way to make Zinyak suffer in the worst way possible.

The Saints returned to the Zin mothership, bent on seeking revenge for Earth. They knew that the key to their revenge and saving the rest of their friends lie within Simulation 31.

Little did Pinkamena know that she would soon be reunited with some important ponies. When she finds out who they are, Zinyak will learn what kind of enemy he made and the Zin empire will tremble.

The Ghost

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Once the Saints ship was parked in a place that was either not being tracked by the Zin or that Zinyak didn’t care about them and was willing to leave them alone for the time being, Kinzie spent a little time mourning Oleg while Johnny, Keith and Playa plotted their revenge against Zinyak for blowing up Earth. Pinkamena was already plotting how she was going to kill the alien overlord.

For now, the Saints had to prioritize their objectives. One was to map out the Zin mothership by disrupting the simulation enough for Kinzie to accomplish the task. Another task was the rescue of their friends who were being held captive in their own nightmare simulations. However, since they had no idea on how to go about the second task yet, the Saints would have to focus on the first objective and hope that something turned up later.

The guys had finished their plans for some immediate objectives. Keith had compiled a list of tasks that he wanted Playa and Pinkamena to complete as the beginning of their resistance against the Zin Empire. Johnny, to his dismay, was unable to go with them because Kinzie was only able to give superpowers to one other due to the limited access she currently had in the simulation.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about those days on the campaign trail. I bet we can use a lot of those techniques against the Zin,” Keith considered.

“Sounds like a strange comparison but okay,” Playa responded.

Pinkamena thought back to Playa’s campaign for presidency. Unlike other politicians, Playa’s methods were unorthodox and often violent. While that might scare some voters, the citizens of the United States were already used to violence, bloodshed and lust and Playa’s display appealed to the majority which helped his campaign. Boise, Idaho was especially chaotic.

With that, the duo rested against a device that was supposed to project their consciousness into the simulation. Pinkamena had to stand on her hind hooves in order to properly enter the machine.

After a few seconds, Pinkamena’s vision was greeted by a trail of red and yellow light before a white flash. Once that faded, the next thing she saw was a Steelport at night.

Unlike earlier, when the night sky was a soothing blue, it had turned orange.

Checking her HUD, Pinkamena realized that the two of them were in Western Stanfield. The first objective that Keith wanted complete was to cause another disruption by racing through the system. The next was to cause some destruction in Loren Square followed by clearing a Zin patrol in Eastern Bridgeport then climbing the tower in The Grove and ending with killing a rogue program.

The two of them divided the first four tasks where Playa would do another race through the system and clear out a Flashpoint while Pinkamena would blow things up in Loren Square and climb the next tower. The two would compete to see who would complete their tasks first and the one who killed the rogue program would win. Pinkamena remembered that she needed to collect the data clusters that Playa missed on the first tower.

While Playa was doing his race, Pinkamena raced to downtown Steelport while trying out her Super Sprint powers. “So this is what it’s like to be a Decker Specialist,” she thought.

When she arrived at the location, Kinzie had given her a black hole gun to use. After one shot, she realized that it wasn’t destructive enough to suit her needs so she pulled out her Knightmare and made use of her new powers to unleash destruction upon Loren Square. Her freeze blast froze pedestrians and cars in place so she could smash them with her hobby horse. While she still used the black hole gun to kill clusters of people, her Knightmare caused more damage overall before she left the area satisfied that she left a major mess for the simulation to clean up.

Pinkamena raced to the tower in The Grove and began her ascent. Using her Pinkie Sense to play hot and cold whenever she was getting close to a cluster, she was able to clean the tower of clusters before she made it to the top and slammed a hoof on the summit, turning the red glow of the structure to blue.

Using her super jump and super sprint powers, Pinkamena was able to make a huge leap from the tower and glide most of the way to New Baranec on Carver Island. Once there, she looked around to see if Playa was around.

What she didn’t expect was to see a younger version of Playa charging at her while firing a heavy SMG at her. The madmare did not take getting shot at very well, even if it was from an ally. Using her super speed and her Vorpal Blade, she quickly cut off Playa’s hand that was holding the SMG. When he tried to punch her, she met his fist with her hoof, causing bits of data to fly from his arm. Punching him in the groin caused him to cough up binary before she proceeded to cut him into tiny chunks of data before the figure completely broke apart into data.

While she was grumbling about what happened, the real Playa showed up and saw the madmare who saw him and held up her knife with a mad look in her eyes.

“Whoa whoa, what are you doing Pinks?” Playa asked.

“Care to explain why you tried to attack me?”

Kinzie intervened before things got out of control, “That wasn’t the real President, Pinkamena. That was a rogue program that was based from a past image of him, likely generated from the memories of one of our missing friends.”

Pinkamena blinked, “Oh,” was all she said at the moment before she found more words. “This whole adventure is going to get really weird, isn’t it?”

“Probably.”

Pinkamena’s attention returned to Playa, “So, have you finished your tasks?”

“Well, I caused enough of a disruption with my racing and I did clear that Zin patrol,”

“You didn’t get the gold rating, did you?” Pinkamena deadpanned.

“You try dodging firewalls at high speed,” Playa defended.

Pinkamena walked away in the direction of Yearwood for a moment before she sprinted away.

“She’s going to shame me again, isn’t she?”

“Yep,” Kinzie responded.

After Pinkamena got the gold medal in the Blazin activity that Playa failed to get and clean up the first tower, the two returned to the ship, the latter with his head hung in shame. After informing the Vice President that the tasks were complete, Keith decided to remember the wild time at Camp David while Kinzie programmed Vinyl’s dubstep gun for the duo to use next time they entered the simulation.

When Pinkamena and Playa saw Kinzie again, they noticed her face was scrunched. “What’s up?” Playa asked.

“As if blowing up Earth wasn’t enough, after your little escape, Zinyak decided to lock down the stores in the simulation. We can’t buy weapons or anything while the stores are locked. Plus, the stores are protected by some hard-to-crack security protocols so the only way to undo the lock on the stores is to manually hack the stores from within the simulation.”

“Anything I need to know on how to do that?” Pinkamena asked. “I know how to use a computer, but hacking seems a little too advanced for me.”

“The hacking program should be simple, I’ve made it into a simple game of Pipe Dream. The game will likely become more difficult with each store we unlock as Zinyak tightens the security protocols around the stores.”

After the explanation, Pinkamena and Playa returned to the simulation. On their way to the Planet Zin in Yearwood, Pinkie started getting her sister’s attention.

“Let me do these Mena. I can handle minigames.”

“Alright, you can handle them, partly because I suspect Playa isn’t very good with puzzles.”

Once they arrived, Pinkamena had Playa watch her back while she let Pinkie take over before she hacked the store. It was a simple four by four puzzle that only needed four vertical lines heading from the left arrow to the right. Pinkie solved it in under five seconds.

Alarms went off in the simulation and the area was quickly swarmed by virtual human police officers. Playa had no problems dealing with the police before the officers turned into Zin soldiers and started firing their laser rifles at them. Pinkamena took over again before she pulled out her Vorpal Blade and littered the area in bits of data from the bodies of the Zin.

While they wanted to escape the area, Kinzie wanted to test the security protocols to make sure that future store hacks were not so hectic. The duo held their ground as the attacks intensified.

Glowing red orbs soon appeared in the air which was followed by a continuous stream of Zin troops emerging from them. Kinzie suggested shooting the portals to shut them down which they did with Playa’s pistol and Pinkamena leaping toward them and smashing them with her Knightmare.

A golden robotic sphere appeared in the area. Kinzie quickly analyzed the orb and made a discovery. “You two, look at that gold floating robot thing. I think it’s controlling the security program here.”

“And?” Playa asked.

“So, if you catch the golden orb and shut it down then the Zin should no longer see you as an immediate threat.”

“Could you have made that sound any less like a Harry Potter reference?” Pinkamena asked.

“Says the mare who has killed plenty of people using movie references,” Kinzie countered.

“Fair.”

The golden C.I.D. stood no chance against Pinkamena’s speed as she quickly caught up to it and smashed it with her Knightmare. Once she did that, the Zin left the simulation to return to their business.

“Really? I smash an orb and the Zin pretend we’re not there anymore?” Pinkamena shook her head.

“I’m still figuring out how the simulation runs myself,” Kinzie said, confused as Pinkamena. “Anyway, I’ve compiled my own list of objectives for you to complete. Come see me on the ship and I’ll explain.”

Pinkamena and Playa were headed back to the access point when a mysterious disembodied voice that didn’t belong to Kinzie or Zinyak spoke to them. “Greetings. If you want to find and rescue your friends, you will meet me at my rift. Goodbye.”

“That didn’t sound suspicious,” Pinkamena said with sarcasm.

“No kidding. Does this guy really think we would just trust some random ghost in the machine?”

“We should check it out anyway. Besides, what’s the wOOOOOGH!” Playa’s sentence was cut off by a punch to the right kidney by Pinkamena. “What the fuck?!”

“I had to stop you from finishing that sentence for obvious reasons.”

“Come on Pinks, that only happens in movies and...I’m sounding like Pierce, aren’t I?”

“Yes you are, now shut up and let’s get to that rift.”

The rift, as they saw when they arrived, looked like a sort of distortion in the fabric of the data used to form the virtual world on the ground.

Neither had any idea what to expect in the rift but the ghost was the first lead they had on rescuing their friends so they threw caution to the wind and dove in.

The duo landed on a metallic platform that hovered in a stationary position over an endless void. Looking around, they noticed a number of similar platforms and each glowed red. There were some platforms with different appearances than others. Given the configuration of the platforms, Pinkamena at least figured that they needed to use the platforms to get somewhere.

The voice spoke again, “You will need to leap from platform to platform. By changing the red platforms to blue, the power connection to this simulation will remain open. The closer you land to the center, the stronger the connection.”

“I see, so we not only have to jump from platform to platform but we also have to be accurate with our jumps.”

“That is correct. Of course, only one of you needs to attempt this course while the other can watch.”

Playa had a feeling that the voice was referring to him.

Pinkamena let Pinkie handle the activity since she was good at doing things that didn’t involve killing.

Playa took the time to get some answers from the ghost. “So tell me how you can help us save our friends.”

“I know how to navigate the Zin systems and travel between them. If you can find the right simulation, I can open a gateway between that one and yours.”

“And what do you get out of it?”

“I have no love for the Zin as I was once their prisoner too. I have been stuck inside the Zin simulators creating rifts which cause chaos for Zinyak, though the Zin inevitably shut them down.”

“And where do we come in?”

“Your help ensures I am able to keep them open permanently. A benefit to us both.”

“So why do you need us? Couldn’t you do it yourself?”

“My body has long since died. I implanted my consciousness into the main simulator computer many years ago.”

“Sounds like a similar situation to what happened to a certain somepony when it was revealed at the end of ‘Fallout: Equestria’,” Pinkie commented while bouncing with accurate jumps to each platform.

“Are you even going to be able to help us?” Playa asked while ignoring Pinkie’s comment.

“I cannot. That is, not unless you find me a physical, mobile form I can download my memory matrix into first,” the voice explained.

“So if I find you a body, you’ll help us?”

“Unlike humans, I keep my word and pay my debts. Besides, you know you need me.”

Pinkie reached the end of the course and earned herself a gold rating. The voice noticed the stabilization of the rift and returned his attention to Playa. “My access code is 1331. Use it when you find me a suitable form.” Pinkie rolled her eyes at the code that was once again a combination of two ones and two threes.

With that, the duo was ejected from the rift. However, they didn’t end up back in Virtual Steelport but one of Kinzie’s training programs.

The voice added, “Before you go hunting for me a new body, I want to pay you both for your aid in keeping my rift open, and to ensure you see that I am willing to help your cause.”

“Paid how?” Playa asked.

“I have found new code which allows you to change the element of one of your powers.”

“So what do you have for us?”

“You can now alter your Blast abilities to release a wave of fire or your previous wave of ice at will.”

Pinkamena took over so she and Playa could test their new fire element to their blast ability, roasting training targets. Once they were satisfied, the voice returned them to Steelport.

With their errand complete and their new task given, Playa and Pinkamena returned to the ship to rest and prepare for their next move against Zinyak.

The C.I.D.

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After a deal was made with the mysterious disembodied voice who wouldn’t bother with giving a name for themselves (There was no way to tell the voice’s gender either since the voice sounded unisex), Playa and Pinkamena returned to the West Stanfield gateway to return to the ship.

Since Kinzie was monitoring everything that happened in the simulation, there was no need to waste time reporting what had transpired so the Saints had a little more time to plan their next moves against Zinyak and his simulation.

Once the duo’s consciousness returned to their real bodies, Playa and Pinkamena inquired with Kinzie about what tasks she needed done. Keith walked in looking exhausted. Before the hacker could get her words in, Keith spoke first. “Johnny’s getting antsy, having nothing to do is making him more irritable.”

“If I can get a stable environment in the simulation to work from, I can find a way to modify the avatars of others within the simulation and give them powers,” Kinzie said. “With Zinyak being more liberal with giving his minions superpowers in the simulation, we can’t have our friends running around without them at this point.”

“So what do you suggest?”

“There’s several things that can be done around Brickston so I can set up that environment. I should have a way to increase the power of the Blast ability as well. I’ll leave the task to Pinkamena since she seems to know her way around hacking a store.”

“What about me?” Playa asked.

“I have my own list of things for you to do, though one of them I’d rather you wait until Pinkamena finishes her list and let her handle that one,” Keith offered.

Playa saw the list and knew which one Keith was talking about. He glowered at everyone around him. “Is everyone going to keep criticizing my driving?”

“As long as you refuse to try avoiding traffic, then yes,” Kinzie remarked.

Playa groaned as he and Pinkamena returned to the simulation. Once back in Virtual Steelport, the two went their separate ways to complete their individual tasks.

The first thing Kinzie wanted Pinkamena to do was guard an area in Brickston while she uploaded a virus into the area to clear out some Zin security programming. The hacker assured the madmare that she didn’t have to protect anything specific, just kill a bunch of Zin troops or whatever might show up and don’t die, while staying in the area.

Since she was about to demolish a lot of Zin, Pinkamena decided to try out Vinyl’s Dubstep Gun and see how much damage it could cause.

Once in the area, the madmare was beset upon by an army of bikers. Something told her that there were a lot stranger things in the simulation that she will find in the near future. She pulled out her Dubstep Gun and started unleashing musical mayhem upon the bikers until the batteries drained after thirty seconds of continuous use, making the madmare grumble about how weak the batteries were.

After she had her fun with the musical weapon, she pulled out her Knightmare and started smashing bikers and their bikes until Kinzie was finished with the virus injection.

The next two tasks were simple store hacks which were no problem for Pinkie as the difficulty was still trivial at this point in the simulation takeover, even if the second one started introducing points on the grid that she couldn’t put circuits on.”

The next task was another rogue program that needed to be deleted. The issue with this one was its appearance. When Kinzie told the madmare what the program’s name was, she felt disappointment in the one who designed the program. Her target was a toilet named Flush Subroutine.

Not wanting the joke to go on, she pulled out her knightmare and repeatedly smashed the toilet into tiny shards of digital porcelain. She and Kinzie agreed to never talk about this matter again.

The next task was all Pinkamena needed to clear her mind of that sad bit of toilet humor from her mind as she went on one of her rampages through Brickston. She had no trouble getting a gold rating from the activity.

Pinkamena neared the end of her list of tasks. The next bullet point was a Zin patrol in Brickston. The group near the Flashpoint device were dismembered within twenty seconds by Pinkamena’s Vorpal Blade.

However, the moment the node was brought under Saints control, the familiar sight of fiery rain greeted her vision and a warning from her Pinkie Sense saved her from her position being slammed as she leaped back in time as a Warden landed where she was a moment before.

Unlike the last Warden that Playa fought, this one had a red glow instead of a purple one. Pinkamena also noticed another difference, the creature’s body was wrapped in a strange light.

Pinkamena tested out her weapons against the creature but they merely bounced off for some reason. However, when she threw a Freeze Blast against it, the strange light faded. The madmare tested a theory she had just thought up by attacking with her weapons again and to her pleasure they were now meeting the creature’s flesh.

The Warden leaped away from Pinkamena to get some distance from her. By the time she caught up, the strange light reappeared around the Warden again. This told Pinkamena everything she needed to know about how to deal with the creature. She figured that superpowered attacks break the shielding around the Warden but the shield renews itself after a short time.

Thanks to her Pinkie Sense, Pinkamena was able to avoid all of the Warden’s attacks until she unleashed an offensive of her own. After disabling the shield with another Freeze Blast, she raced along the large creature’s body while leaving grievous wounds all over its body.

The assault was too much for the Warden to take and it began to falter, allowing the madmare to repeat what Playa did and she dove into its body, Matrix style. The creature’s will stood no chance as Pinkamena tore the beast apart from the inside out before it exploded, leaving a pink pony and a sudden rush of power that let her understand what Playa felt when he was powering up.

Unfortunately, she didn’t get any new powers from her attack. Once the rush faded, she shrugged and moved on to the last objective on her list.

This task was a repeat of the previous virus injection except with Zin this time so the madmare simply tore through more Zin bodies and equipment while Kinzie finished uploading the virus that would complete her takeover of Brickston.

With Kinzie’s list complete, Pinkamena, with Pinkie’s help, cleaned the neighborhood of data clusters that she could collect before she raced to Downtown Steelport to check on Playa. On the way, Kinzie informed her of the tasks he had completed so far. First, he killed the rogue program, Zinsasser, then he cleared a Zin patrol in Henry Steel Mills before he strained the system again by playing in traffic in Rosen Oaks.

Another task on Keith’s list was to shut down one of the two Hotspots in Loren Square. While Playa was bad with puzzles and driving, he made up for that with being able to fight against groups of enemies and overcome the odds against him. In the end, he shut down the Hotspot just like the first one.

The surprising bit of news was that Playa was barely able to tear through Henry Steel Mills with a UFO without getting his vehicle demolished. Even more surprising was that he managed to get a gold rating for it. Pinkamena decided to chalk that up to luck since that was what Playa had going for him.

Pinkamena finished Playa’s list by heading to Sunset Park before tracking the designated vehicle to Loren Square and letting Pinkie fly the Chrome Void ship that was programmed with useful data to the designated location on Magarac Island while avoiding some very angry Zin.

Once that task was complete, Playa and Pinkamena raced back to the gateway which was a long distance from where they were. Pinkamena hoped that Kinzie had some ideas on how to get around Steelport faster.

For their efforts, the two were given modifications to their Blast and Super Sprint abilities.

Once the duo had rested after their latest foray into the simulation, Playa held a meeting to discuss their next plans.

Since they still had no way of rescuing their friends with the mysterious bodiless being still offering the only chance they had at the moment, the Saints knew that it was in a position to demand anything in exchange for its services. None of the Saints liked the position they were in but knew that without any other options, they had no choice but to trust that the being was legitimate.

In resignation, Playa moved onward with the plan that they had no choice but to go with. “So this AI needs a body in order to help us. Got any ideas, Kinzie?”

The hacker considered the information she gathered for a moment before she had an idea. “The Zin have almost everything in the simulation locked tight but there is something we can use. A Control and Interface Device.”

“So where can I get one?’

Kinzie looked into the simulation to locate an appropriate vessel before she discovered what she was looking for. “We’re in luck. The Zin have a bunch in transit right now. The Zin are using C.I.D.s to bring a downed Hotspot back online. Once you have a C.I.D. get it to a safe spot and wipe its old programming so the AI can upload its personality into the new shell.”

“No problem.” With that, Playa and Pinkamena returned to the simulation to locate a C.I.D. Kinzie directed the duo to the first downed hotspot in Stanfield. On the way, Playa suggested that Kinzie locate a suitable shell for the AI on the ship because he doubted that the mysterious being wanted to be stuck in the simulation.

Playa and Pinkamena arrived at the Hotspot and were met with minimal resistance from the Zin. Kinzie directed the duo to a weapons crate. Playa opened the crate. “Yoink,” Pinkamena said as she grabbed the weapon before Playa had a chance to look at it.

Without waiting for Kinzie to explain how the weapon worked, she fired it at the Zin and discovered that the shots, while they did harm the Zin troops and vehicles, bounced off of them and in a different direction.

With the knowledge of how the gun worked, she positioned herself for optimal damage before she fired a round that bounced off many of the Zin before they either succumbed to their wounds or blew up in the case of vehicles. This reminded Pinkamena of an old Atari video game with a touch of pinball.

Taking advantage of the destruction, Playa ran over to where the C.I.D.s were lined up. After he touched two of them which suddenly short circuited, Pinkamena had to say something. “I never pegged you for the inappropriate touching type.”

“It’s not my fault! I just touch them and they do that.”

“And how is this proving me wrong?”

“You wanna try this or do you wanna keep making jokes?”

Pinkamena rolled her eyes before she walked over to a third C.I.D. and tapped it with her hoof. The device sparked for a second before it started following her. “Let’s get out of here and find a place where Kinzie can work on this thing.”

Playa stared at the mare sprinting away with his mouth wide open. He soon closed his mouth and sprinted after her. “Fuck my life.”

Pinkamena brought the device to a rooftop a short distance from the Hotspot and Kinzie began erasing its programming. While this was going on, Zin were flying in on bikes and firing on them. The madmare jumped onto one of the bikes and shoved an exploding cupcake into his mouth before tossing him at another Zin on a bike, blowing up both Zin and the bike in the process.

With her new hoverbike, Pinkamena began firing at the Zin in the area with the bike’s weapon. She also used her Knightmare to knock other Zin off their bikes.

During a brief period in between waves, Pinkamena quickly landed her bike and jumped off to address the weapon on the vehicle. She ripped off the weapon with her hooves before installing her party cannon. The modification was ready just in time for another wave which was met with confetti-based death.

After a few minutes of defending the device, Kinzie was finished wiping its programming as well as the tracking device the Zin were using for it. She then imputed the AI’s code into the device before it began downloading the AI.

“This won’t take long, right?” Playa asked.

“Fifty-five minutes,” Kinzie replied.

“What the fuck? There’s no way I can hold off the Zin for that long.”

“I could,” Pinkamena chimed.

“Okay, those of us who aren’t sugar-fueled ponies with a seemingly insatiable bloodlust can’t hold off the Zin for that long.”

Pinkamena harrumphed as she tossed a cupcake into her mouth, taking care to make sure it wasn’t one of the exploding ones.

“Anyway...The connection in this area is slow,” Kinzie explained. “Get closer to a major connection point like a power plant and this might go faster.”

“And why didn’t we go there first?” Playa asked.

“Because a major connection point for the simulation is going to be heavily guarded.”

“Kinzie, we can handle whatever they throw at us,” Pinkamena stated. “Let’s head to the power plant and clear out the tenants.”

On the way to the plant, Kinzie asked an important question, “So assuming the AI wasn’t lying about helping us, who should we grab first? Pierce? Shaundi?”

“I think we should go for Matt first,” Playa suggested.

“Miller?! Oh my god why?!”

“Aside from the fact that Moondancer pretty much scared him straight, He did help us kill Cyrus Temple and it would be reassuring to have two geniuses at the computer.”

“We can get along just fine with just me,” Kinzie argued.

“As much as I want to see Moondancer again, I think we need to go for Vinyl first,” Pinkamena suggested. “Her engineering skills are what we need right now.”

“Yeah, let’s rescue Vinyl first. We can get Matt later.”

Playa decided to take this time to play the leader card. “This ain’t up for discussion you two. We’re getting Matt first. We can get Vinyl next.”

“Fine…” Pinkamena and Kinzie said in unison with a simultaneous sigh.

Once Playa and Pinkamena, with the C.I.D. in tow, arrived at the power plant, they began clearing out the Zin around a terminal that was controlling the connection in the area. It didn’t take them long to eliminate the group before Playa activated the device to speed up the download.

“How long now?” Playa asked.

The device started repeating “FUK” rapidly.

“That’s...part of the process,” Kinzie quickly explained.

“Awkward…” Pinkamena commented.

“The full download should only take about sixteen minutes,” Kinzie said, trying to get the subject back on topic.

“Find something to make this go faster,” Playa ordered.

“I’ll see what I can find. There might be other access points nearby to increase the bandwidth.”

“At least we can do this without the FCC getting on our asses,” Pinkamena commented.

While Kinzie was looking for more ways to speed up the download, more Zin showed up to get slaughtered by the duo.

“Personality transfer at thirty-one percent,” the device said.

Kinzie located a pair of access points nearby. The duo split up and headed toward one each. After they cleared out the Zin guards, they activated the terminals. This greatly increased the download speed...too fast. The C.I.D.’s systems were not designed to handle a rapid download and had begun to overheat. Kinzie throttled the connection to slow the download speed while Playa and Pinkamena each hit the device with a Freeze Blast to cool it down.

Once that crisis was averted, Kinzie alerted them that the download would only take three minutes which was satisfactory to Playa.

The two of them spent those three minutes having the time of their lives killing Zin with every weapon in their respective arsenals.

“Download complete. Time to kill some aliens,” the device said.

“I’m going to regret giving him a body, aren’t I?” Kinzie asked rhetorically.

“It was this or a murderbot,” Pinkamena replied.

“Good point.”

It was then that the familiar fire rain occurred and a Warden with a green glow landed into the area.

“This one looks like it might have some useful power for you two,” Kinzie said.

The battle against this Warden was short lived. While it demonstrated its ability to levitate objects around, it didn’t help as the duo thrashed the beast before both dove into its digital form and overwhelmed it.

“Kinzie, my head feels like it’s on fire,” Playa whined after his avatar was infused with telekinetic power..

“Ugh, my head feels a little heavy,” Pinkamena groaned.

Playa turned around to look at Pinkamena before his eyes widened. “Uhh, Mena, you got something on your forehead.”

Pinkamena moved a hoof to her forehead only for her to feel a long hard bump protruding from there. Feeling along the bump, she noticed a spiraling indentation along it. Realizing what it was, her eyes shrank to pinpricks.

“What the fuck?!”

Vinyl's Nightmare

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Pinkamena prodded her new appendage on her forehead a few times and each prod only confirmed that it was there and it was real. “What did that Warden do to me?”

“Beats me, All I know is that I can move objects with my mind now,” Playa replied as he telekinetically lifted a Zin vehicle and hurled it down a street.

“Perhaps I can answer that,” came the voice of the C.I.D. that Playa had ‘creatively’ named CID. “You come from the planet Equus, correct?” Pinkamena nodded. “I have looked through the research files that the Zin have recorded on your species. Zinyak has taken an interest in your planet’s unusual energy fields as well as its bizarre orientation with regard to the celestial bodies around it. But I am going off on a tangent. I have noticed that there are those of your species who have such horns on their foreheads. I believe they are called Unicorns.”

“That doesn’t explain why I suddenly went from Earth Pony to Unicorn after messing around in that Warden’s body,” Pinkamena said.

“That has never come up in the Zin’s research as Ponies have never interacted with the digital plane before. Tell me, have there ever been any previous experiences of Ponies in a digital realm before?”

Pinkamena thought for a moment and quickly came up with her answer. “There was this one time when Moondancer entered such a place. She was able to use some sort of knowledge manipulation spell to alter her form.”

“Then perhaps a hypothesis, what if the unusual energy given off by Ponies and possibly all denizens of planet Equus reacts with electronic knowledge in an unprecedented and undocumented way. Perhaps the alteration in your digital avatar is the result of the latest infusion of digital code in order to accommodate the new code.”

Playa stared at the mechanical ball like a deer in headlights.

“She means that I have a horn because I have telekinetic powers like you do,” Pinkamena translated. To demonstrate her new power, she lit her horn which had an indigo color aura and lifted a Zin ship above her head before she launched it into a building. The vehicle exploded and damaged part of the building’s wall. “Good thing this only applies to the simulation. I really don’t want to explain to my sisters how I suddenly grew a horn.” She looked at CID. “By the way, did you have a gender from before you lost your body?”

“It was so long ago that I have difficulty remembering, although I have a vague recollection that I was a female among my species.”

With that bit of knowledge learned, Pinkamena decided to check something. Just to be sure that the new appendage didn’t affect her other abilities, she walked up to another intact wall and slammed a hoof into it. The satisfying creation of a hole was all she needed to know that her Earth Pony strength was still with her.

CID witnessed the feat of strength and while she couldn’t make expressions with her mechanical body, a stunned reaction would be the only normal one to express in this situation. “I shall endeavor to never anger the Equus Pony.”

Kinzie later informed the group that the commotion allowed her time to open a new gateway in the southern part of Downtown Steelport.

“So, can you help us save our friends now?” Playa asked.

“I can, but first you may want to practice your new abilities by taking part in Zinyak’s favorite game show: ‘Professor Genki’s Mind Over Murder’”

“What does Genki have to do with Zinyak?” Pinkamena asked.

“Genki is fascinated by destructive individuals but he never stays attached to them for long. He is known for his short attention span. Zinyak is likely his next target of fascination. He entered into a deal with Zinyak to conduct his next show in the simulation.”

“How do you know so much about Genki?”

“He hosted a show on my world a long time ago. It was a contest to see if you could reach a certain kill quota within a time limit.”

Something told the madmare that there was more to the pink man-cat than meets the eye but that was a mystery for another time.

Arriving at the scene for the latest game show, Pinkamena was surprised to hear Zach’s and Bobby’s voices from nowhere. The two of them went over the rules of the game where she and Playa would have to use their newly acquired Telekinesis abilities to hurl objects through colored rings. Blue rings were for any kind of vehicles, green rings were for people and pink rings were for the glowing heads of Genki characters.

If there was one thing she learned while Pinkie was around Rarity, it was how to control the telekinesis. It was another matter in practice. Pinkamena lit her horn and lifted a mascot and aimed for a green ring. While the activity took some concentration, she managed the action. Playa hurled an ATV through a blue ring. Pinkamena finished the area by hurling a Genki head through the remaining ring.

The two sprinted for the second set of rings. This time Pinkamena managed to grab a person and an ATV in her aura and hurled them into the proper rings. She was quickly getting the hang of her new powers as Playa hurled a Genki head through the remaining ring.

The third and last area was cleared by Pinkamena alone as she grabbed one of each type of object and hurled them into the correct rings, ending the activity.

With nothing left to do, Playa and Pinkamena headed to the nearest gateway while CID transferred her consciousness to the C.I.D. on the ship that Kinzie created a direct link to.

After a period of rest and Pinkamena checking her forehead again to find that her real body didn’t have a horn, the duo was ready to take action again. Pinkamena noticed Johnny getting antsy but there was little that could be done for the time being. Kinzie didn’t have a list of tasks for her or Playa this time because she was focused on locating Matt’s simulation.

In the meantime, Keith had another set of tasks he needed to see done while CID had her own list. Once again, The two leaders chose which list they would work on. Playa chose Keith’s list and Pinkamena chose CID’s list, mainly because she wanted more practice with her digital horn.

Once inside the simulation again, Pinkamena and Playa split up to deal with their own tasks. He was to clear one of the patrols in Burns Hill, guard an area in western Loren Square while Kinzie injected a virus, Steal a Chrome Lockdown vehicle which the others have trusted to let him get it done against their better judgement, and race around Espina. Pinkamena gave Playa the Genki motivation to get a gold rating in the activity or get punched in the groin, a motivator that really works for the Saints leader.

Pinkamena’s first task was to complete another episode of Mind Over Murder which helped the madmare improve her telekinetic abilities by allowing her to lift and throw more objects with better accuracy. Some part of her wished she could use these telekinesis in the real world without growing a horn.

After clearing another episode with a gold rating, Pinkamena raced for Loren Square and prepared to defend it while CID uploaded her virus. Some distant explosions let the madmare know that Playa was nearby. She also caught a glimpse of what looked like a car with its chassis upside down while the wheels were still on the road heading toward Playa’s position. She put that thought out of her head as she focused on defending her own position.

After she smashed her way through the defenders and CID had completed her virus injection, Pinkamena called Playa to ask about what he was fighting.

“You wanna know what I’m fighting? I can’t even find the words to describe the weirdness I’m seeing. All I know is that I need to destroy them all.”

Pinkamena decided to just let the matter go and head for Arapice Island to clear out the Zin patrol on the east coast of the island. With her Vorpal Blade, the matter was completed in five seconds.

The madmare didn’t have to go far to reach the last objective on the list. All she had to do now was race through the area, a task that she let Pinkie handle.

The party pony dodged every obstacle in front of her with ease though she did accidentally run into cars and sent them flying in her rush. While she hoped there was nobody in the cars, Pinkamena reassured her that even if there were people in those cars, the simulation was still a false reality and the people were not real. Nobody was going to get hurt from her reckless actions. This made Pinkie feel better.

Once Pinkie finished the race, Pinkamena took over again and requested a status update from Playa. The Saints leader claimed that he somehow delivered the target vehicle without destroying it and he did his best with his race. Kinzie let Pinkamena know that he barely managed to score gold in his race.

The duo used the gateway in Downtown Steelport to return to the ship. For completing both lists, CID found a way to allow more time for store hacking attempts as well as the ability to steal lifeforce when holding people in a telekinetic grip. One reward was useful to the madmare the other was not, given how Pinkie seemed to breeze through the puzzles so far.

“Aha!”

Kinzie’s cheer of triumph stirred the crew from their restful state as they headed to the control room to investigate. “So what did you find?” Playa asked.

“Thanks to the additional disruptions to the system, I found my way into the Zin security systems. I know which simulations are holding our friends captive.”

“Right, so you have a way for us to get into Matt’s prison?”

“It should be easier to get into everyone’s prison now.”

“If I may make a suggestion,” CID interjected. “Since two of you are now accessing the simulation freely, I can open two gateways for each of you to rescue one of your allies.”

“If you can work with two cyphers then that’s better for everyone. Do you still plan to rescue Vinyl first, Pinkamena?” Kinzie asked.

“Yeah, we could use her skills the most right now.”

“Then I shall meet you both in the simulation once you are ready for your individual rescue attempts,” CID said as she disappeared into the cargo bay below.

Pinkamena and Playa returned to the simulation through the Downtown gateway and headed to where CID designated, which turned out to be The Broken Shillelagh. Kinzie alerted the two of them that she wouldn’t be much help to them while they were outside the Steelport simulation and they would be without their superpowers during the time.

CID opened the first gateway that would lead into Matt Miller’s nightmare. Taking in one last breath, Playa went inside before the cybernetic sphere closed the door and opened a new one that would lead into Vinyl’s nightmare. Pinkamena took one last breath before she walked through the door.

Nighttime had descended upon Canterlot. Ponies were approaching the castle in their finest dresses as they prepared to attend the annual Grand Galloping Gala.

Pinkamena entered the grounds dressed in a decorative dark gray dress with bright purple lining and silver highlights. Her mane was tied up in a bun with an obsidian colored band. She also wore a platinum necklace that displayed the Saints fleur de lis.

The madmare looked around the grounds for Vinyl but she was nowhere in sight.

In the distance, she could hear the voices of Pinkie’s friends singing about their aspirations for the event. The infectious Heartsong would soon come for her. She didn’t care because even if she sang a verse of her own nothing would stop her from saving Vinyl.

Pinkamena soon felt the music flow through her and instead of resisting the inevitable, she simply went with it and sang her verse.

At the Gala,
Gonna save her,
And kill those who get in my way.
I will save Vinyl from this false world,
And tear it to digital shreds.
These fake guards are nothing to me.
This will be the bloodiest night ever!

Thankfully, the ponies were too wrapped up in their own song to notice the meaning behind the madmare’s lyrics.

Pinkamena approached the guard who was taking tickets and pulled her own out of her mane. Thankfully, she never got to make use of her ticket to the Gala before she was sent to Earth. She gave the ticket to the guard and went inside.

The interior of the Gala was everything that she imagined it to be. It was dull and full of uptight ponies who stood around and chatted while dining on the miniature portions that the fancy Canterlot restaurants were famous for and savoring the overpriced wine.

Exploring the party, she saw Pinkie’s friends having the time of their lives. Fluttershy was getting acquainted with the garden animals, Rarity was locking lips with Prince Blueblood, Rainbow Dash was chatting with the Wonderbolts, Applejack’s wares were selling like the next popular trend, and Twilight was having an intellectual conversation with Celestia. However, there was no sign of Pinkie’s simulated form.

Scratch that, Pinkamena just saw the simulated version of Pinkie, or rather a version of herself given the manestyle, going around with a condescending look on her face while addressing the guests.

Pinkamena grabbed the attention of one of the guests to ask her a question. “Hey, who’s that?” She asked, pointing to her doppelganger.

“You haven’t heard? She is the one who organized this year’s Grand Galloping Gala. And I must say, she has done a spectacular job of setting it up with only the finest cuisine that bits can buy. A shame about the music though. One of the musicians is so off key that it is a wonder how she got her cutie mark to look like anything related to music. If you ask me, it is probably a fake and she’s really a blank flank with no future, ho-ho.”

Pinkamena mentally kicked herself for not checking the most obvious place where she might find Vinyl. Sure enough, the DJ was with a group of musicians playing classical music with Vinyl playing the cello poorly. In front of the musician stand was an open space that was occupied by several barrels of tomatoes and eggs. Guards were charging the guests for the food for the purpose of throwing them at Vinyl.

Looking closer, Pinkamena could see the DJ’s coat stained with tomato juice.

“I find that red is a much better color for her than white,” said the most irritating and condescending alien in the universe. “Poor Vinyl is stuck playing her least favorite genre of music to a bunch of ponies who are nothing short of perfectionists getting angry at her for not playing perfect classical music. To her marefriend this would be a dream come true. It’s always so amusing to see opposites being forced to do what they hate.”

“Keep gloating, Zinyak. It only makes your impending punishment much more satisfying,” Pinkamena said.

“I shall enjoy breaking you of that bravado. Right now, I can’t decide which is more entertaining, you figuring out how to get your friend out of this mess or your President trying to navigate a text adventure. Anyway, any disruptive actions you make here will be met with extreme consequences. Have fun.”

Pinkamena tried to approach Vinyl but was met with a barrier that prevented any means of entry. The combined magic of the musicians was maintaining the barrier along with Vinyl who wasn’t paying attention to anything around her..

“Magic has so many uses, don’t you think?” said a voice that was exactly like Pinkamena’s. The real Pinkamena turned to see her doppelganger addressing her. “That barrier is designed so that only sound and food can get in or out of there. That way, the musicians are protected from the angry ponies while the guests are still able to express their discontent to them. It’s a good way for the crown to put more bits in the coffers with the guests paying for every tomato and egg thrown. Vinyl makes for quite the bit maker in this case.”

“So, sound can get past that barrier you say?” Pinkamena asked rhetorically. With that, she knew what to do. She removed the band around her mane and let it fall toward the floor before she reached in and pulled out her Dubstep Gun. The doppelganger’s eyes widened before the weapon was aimed at her and she got blown toward the wall by loud music. Pinkamena then turned the weapon toward the musicians and blew them all to the wall.

While Pinkamena was on a musical rampage, Vinyl listened to the music that she loved so much. The dubstep music filled her with the vigor that she nearly forgot that she had. With the flow of magic interrupted, the barrier went down. She ran over to Pinkamena just in time to see the guests glare at the two with murderous hostility. Celestia and the Element Bearers were ready to spill blood.

“Pinkie, I’m about to do something that you are definitely not going to like so it would be in your best interest to tune out the world around us until I tell you it’s over.”

Pinkie knew what was going to happen and while she didn’t like it at all, she knew that it was the only way they were going to escape the prison. She did as her sister instructed and isolated her senses for a while.

With that detail out of the way, Pinkamena tossed her Dubstep Gun to Vinyl before she pulled out her Bounce Gun. “Murder time,”

Vinyl caught the weapon in her aura then placed her glasses that had been above her horn to be over her eyes. She replaced the track in the Dubstep Gun to one of her favorites. Both mares had wicked smirks on their faces. “Fun time.”

Pinkamena ran around the ballroom firing high speed rounds that bounced painfully off the guests, piercing some of them after a few hits.

Rainbow Dash tackled Pinkamena in midair and raised a hoof to pound the madmare before she pulled a small book from her mane and hit it in the speedster’s face. Rainbow was confused for a moment as she looked at the title that read “Cupcakes.” That moment of hesitation was all Pinkamena needed as she pinned the speedster on her back and pulled out her Vorpal Blade and tore through her torso before she ripped her internal organs out and threw them at other guests, distracting them long enough for the madmare to rush up to Twilight and deliver an uppercut so hard that her head and spine were ripped from her body.

Before Celestia could react to the death of her student, Pinkamena launched herself at the ruler and plunged her knife into her barrel. Using her Knightmare, she smashed it against the solar mare’s horn and broke her horn off. Pinkamena grabbed the horn and hurled it like a spear into Rarity’s mouth and out through her stomach.

Applejack charged toward the madmare with a crazed look in her eyes as she attempted to buck her hard. That buck met with the horn on Pinkamena’s Knightmare and pierced the frog of her hoof before it shattered the bones in her foreleg. While the farmer was reeling from the pain, Pinkamena leaped up and slammed her hobby horse with enough impact to shatter every bone and organ in her body. Only a splattered mess remained after that.

Fluttershy tackled Pinkamena and pinned her to a wall. Before she could follow up, Pinkamena stabbed the animal caretaker through her skull with her Vorpal Blade.

Once Pinkamena was finished with the Element Bearers and Celestia, Vinyl was nearly finished making the heads of the other guests explode with her Dubstep Gun which she kept charged with her magic.

Pinkamena’s doppelganger emerged with a crazed look on her face before the form fell apart and a Warden emerged from the pink copy. The Warden roared in challenge then activated its barrier.

“Pinkamena, are you there? Answer me!” came the voice of Kinzie.

“I hear you, I can’t deal with this Warden with its shield up.”

“Don’t worry, thanks to your rampage, you’ve weakened the simulation so I can return your superpowers.”

“Good, now all that’s left is to tell Vinyl what’s about to happen to her.”

Vinyl tilted her head in confusion. While Pinkamena was dealing with the Warden, she gave the DJ instructions on what was about to happen to her and that she had to fight her way to a specified location. She also let Vinyl know that she would be with her shortly in the real world.

Once the Warden was torn apart from the inside like previous encounters, the simulation crashed. Pinkamena’s consciousness was returned to her real body. The ship hurried to the locations of their respective friends and dropped Playa, who had finally gotten Matt Miller free from his prison, off at his platform and Pinkamena hers. Playa found a Mech Suit to tear apart Zin defenders on his way to Matt while Pinkamena only needed her strength and knife to tear through Zin and Murderbots.

It didn’t take long for the two leaders to find their missing friends and lead them back to the ship.

Now that the Saints knew that the method to saving their friends worked, it was only a matter of time until the others were rescued.

Loyalty: Battle of the DJs

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With Vinyl Scratch and Matt Miller secure in the ship, the Saints had earned themselves a real victory over Zinyak. The technical expertise of the two would come in handy for the battles to come.

Kinzie still held a grudge over Matt for getting her kicked from the FBI and that matter wasn’t going to be resolved anytime soon. Playa managed to convince them to tolerate each other enough to not go at each other’s throats until the Zin were dealt with.

Pinkamena had a talk with Vinyl about what had happened while she was trapped in a simulated Canterlot. The DJ was sad to hear that Earth was blown up by Zinyak, especially since that meant that there were billions of people who would never hear her at the turntable now.

After that talk, Vinyl then had a chat with Matt to learn a few things about him, mainly his love of cyberpunk fashion though. Their conversation also awakened in her a small interest in the Nyte Blayde universe.

“Hey Pinkamena, can I talk to you for a moment?” Kinzie requested.

Pinkamena walked over to Kinzie to see what she wanted.

“I’ve been looking over some simulation data and located what I think is a prison but the configuration is unlike anything I could imagine would torment our friends.”

Pinkamena stared at the moving drawing on the screen. It looked like a large crater with a small house on the lip of it. It looked like a quarry. Pinkamena thought for whom the prison would be for but didn’t believe that a quarry would relate to any of her friends or any of the humans.

The only ones who could relate a quarry to their lives would be herself, Pinkie and…

The thought that appeared in her head was one that she didn’t want to admit was a possibility. However, the more she thought about it, the more the scenario felt likely and the increasing likelihood also elevated Pinkamena’s anger.

“He didn’t…” Pinkamena growled.

Kinzie noticed the madmare’s rising anger and began to feel concerned for her own safety by being near her. “Mena…?”

“He better not have foalnapped my sisters! He’s already in more trouble than any of my previous victims. If he foalnapped Marble, Limestone and Maud, I will make his suffering eternal!”

Kinzie decided to let the madmare fume for a while and head back to the control room to prepare for their next operation.

It was time to get back to work. Kinzie wanted to focus on getting the numerous stores in the simulation under Saints control and she already had her first list of stores for Pinkamena to hack into. She intended to open even more gateways into the simulation to allow more ease of travel over the course of her numerous lists that she had ready.

Keith David and CID each had one last list of tasks that he and she needed completed. It was only three objectives each this time so neither would take long.

With Matt back at the computer, he was ready to get into the action by studying how the simulation functioned.

Since Kinzie’s and Matt’s tasks involved at least one store hack, Pinkamena agreed to take on those tasks while Playa handed Keith’s and CID’s tasks.

Both Playa and Pinkamena knew that they would need more help if their friends were going to keep piling more work on them.

Pinkamena had time to cool off after her latest revelation but there was still a boiling rage that she was keeping in check for the time being. Pinkie was doing her best to keep her sister calm.

As the duo entered the simulation however, Pinkamena’s Pinkie Sense went off with the sensations that told her an ambush was coming. She warned Playa to be on guard for what was coming.

Inside the simulation, the two were almost immediately ambushed by a Warden. The coloring on this beast was orange instead of the red, purple or green that they had encountered before.

To demonstrate its new power, the Warden slammed the ground and upended the land around it. Playa and Pinkamena jumped upward to avoid the shockwave.

With the element of surprise now lost, the Warden stood no chance against the superpowered duo as they used the usual strategy of Playa Freeze Blasting the shield and Pinkamena tearing up its body with her Vorpal Blade. The two entered the Warden’s body and finished it, granting a new power to the two of them.

Pinkamena felt as if her natural Earth Pony strength was amplified. With a devious smirk on her face, she stomped the ground near Playa and put him off balance to where he fell on his butt. The madmare giggled.

“Yeah, very funny Mena, I’ll get you back for that one someday,” Playa responded.

Pinkamena decided to take a look at the sky and noticed another change to the color. It had turned from orange to red.

“Hey Playa, check it out.” She pointed at the sky. “Red like his rage.”

Playa chuckled, “Yep, he must be mad.”

“Before you two get on with the tasks, I think you should get some practice in with your powers. There’s a fight club event going on that involves superpowers. You two should check it out,” Kinzie recommended.

Going by Kinzie’s instructions, Pinkamena headed to the stage where the event was taking place while Playa let her handle the game herself and set off to complete his tasks. The madmare was not surprised to hear Zach’s voice as he hosted Super Power Fight Club.

For the rules, nobody could use weapons and powers were freely used by all contenders.

Once the fight began, the few enemies around jumped around the large arena floor at inhuman speeds. The first wave was composed of people dressed as Vice Kings. The moment one landed in front of the madmare, she grabbed him by the ankles and used him like a club as she jumped toward the other opponents and batted them through the arena wall. Once only her club remained, she slammed him into the floor before she stomped so hard on him that he splattered.

The second wave was a few Morningstar on fire. Combining her Stomp and Freeze Blast, she punched a Morningstar with such force that a wave of frost flew outward from her location and froze the other opponents. Pinkamena stomped hard on the floor and shattered her remaining opponents.

The final wave was Josh Birk in his Nyte Blayde outfit and a couple of other opponents. Once Nyte Blayde appeared in the arena though, he couldn’t react fast enough as a spinning torpedo of pink crashed into him and slammed him into a wall. Before he could recover from the crash he suddenly felt a heavy pressure slam his chest and pierce his armor and flesh. He looked down to see a pink hoof buried in his chest where his heart would be if he were a living being instead of a digital one.

Pinkamena removed her hoof as Zach announced the end of the episode of Super Power Fight Club.

With that done, Pinkie took over and started hacking stores. She hacked a Friendly Fire in Bridgeport, a Rim Jobs on Arapice Island, a Rusty’s Needle and a Let’s Pretend in New Baranec, and a Planet Zin in Salander.

Ending Kinzie’s latest list was another defense of an area while Kinzie uploaded her latest virus.

With that list done, Pinkamena moved on to Matt’s list which was a lot shorter. She dispatched the Zin patrol in Salander by stomping the ground to launch the aliens upward before she finished the helpless troops by launching herself into the air and bounced from Zin to Zin while decapitating each one before they could hit the ground.

The list was completed by Pinkie as she hacked a Friendly Fire in The Grove and hijacked another chrome car and dropped it off at its designated location.

Playa later reported the completion of his tasks in the forms of two Zin patrols, a virus injection, a tower climb where he made sure he was thorough in his cluster collection this time, using his Super Sprint to stabilize a rift, and tearing up Rosen Oaks with his Telekinesis powers.

With the large number of objectives complete, the two returned to the ship.

For their troubles, they were rewarded with a couple of suits, a gateway in Carver Island and a program that would help them locate collectibles.

Johnny Gat was going stir crazy with having nothing to do. The boredom had made him irritable and that irritation would be infectious if he didn’t have an outlet soon.

Playa had an idea on how to do that and asked for Matt’s help to get it done. He and Johnny went into the simulation where Matt loaded up a simulated episode of Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax where the two of them went on a killing spree of shooting up mascots.without Playa using his powers.

The second round of the show was an Apocalypse Genki round in a jungle scene. Playa had Matt return his powers after the former Decker turned him into a toilet as a prank.

The third round was intense with superpowered mascots attacking them so Johnny had Matt load him up with powers too. With both Saints powered up, they crushed the mascots on their way to the final round.

Matt had a surprise in store for Johnny in the form of an unfinished fight that was interrupted by Zinyak before. A simulated and powered Phillipe Loren awaited the duo.

Loren stood no chance in a two on one match on equal footing and the two left the simulation satisfied.

Meanwhile, while Playa and Johnny were having their fun, Pinkamena decided to rescue another Saint from their nightmarish prison. However, while she thought she would be going in alone, Vinyl stood between her and the devices into the simulation.

“Hey Mena, I want to handle Shaundi’s rescue so you can save Treehugger.”

Pinkamena raised an eyebrow, “Why go out of your way to save Shaundi of all people?”

“Well, it’s not actually Shaundi that I’m personally invested in to be honest. I just have this feeling that there’s something in her simulation that’s giving me this competitive itch for some reason. This feeling usually only shows whenever some hotshot DJ shows up that needs to be put in his place.”

Pinkamena thought for a minute about what the relation between Shaundi’s prison and Vinyl’s sudden fit of competitiveness would be. After that minute, she realized that there was one figure from Shaundi’s past who fit the bill and quickly figured what was going to happen. She couldn’t suppress her giggles as she imagined the impending scenario.

“Alright, you can handle Shaundi’s rescue but don’t underestimate the other dangers in there. Shaundi has had some troubles in her past and that guy is just one of them.”

“I won’t let you down, Mena.”

Pinkamena nodded. “Good, now I can focus my efforts on getting our favorite arsonist out of jail.”

Once the two were inside the simulation, they headed to The Broken Shillelagh with CID with the cyphers to Shaundi’s and Treehugger’s prisons. CID opened the gateway into Shaundi’s simulation and Vinyl walked inside.

(A/N: This cameo was made at the request of redsopine. Enjoy!)

As CID was opening the second gateway, Pinkamena eyes locked on to something that she really didn’t expect to see. A red pegasus stallion wearing a brown cloak was walking out of an alley.

The stallion realized that he was being watched and looked in the direction of the one staring at him.

As Pinkamena looked closer at the Stallion, she noticed a few new features. His mane was dark green and blue and there was a scar over his left eye. His right eye quickly drew her attention as she noticed that the sclera was black and the iris was red, blue and green.

Turning her attention away from his features, she noticed that he had a can of beer in his right forehoof.

The two stared silently at each other for a minute before the stallion casually took a sip of his beer before a portal opened beside him and he walked inside before the portal closed.

Pinkamena stared at the now vacant area for another minute before CID floated over to the madmare. “Is something the matter?” She asked.

Pinkamena shook her head. “Huh? Oh, nothing important. Let’s get started.” The madmare walked into the orb’s gateway while putting the memory from a minute ago into the back of her mind.

Vinyl soon found herself at the base of the Magarac Statue. Looking around the base of the structure, she noticed a number of STAG soldiers patrolling the scaffolding. Just like the memory of the incident, Vinyl also noticed bombs put in place that were set to demolish the statue.

If Vinyl’s guess was correct, Shaundi was likely atop the scaffolding being held hostage by the STAG second in command, Kia. Unlike before though, neither Pinkamena or Moondancer were here to save her so she would have to save the Saint herself.

The DJ had an idea to do just that.

Pinkamena found herself at the edge of Ponyville. While everything seemed normal at first glance, there was one big difference.

The whole town was on fire.

Knowing that this was Treehugger’s simulation, the best place to check for her friend’s whereabouts would be Fluttershy’s cottage, given the past the two have had.

Vinyl used her Dubstep Gun to blast STAG troops off the scaffolding as she continued her ascent to the top. She also made sure to steal the high tech rifles from the soldiers for the sake of repurposing them for her plan.

As she went along, she reached each of the bombs on the statue and disarmed them before she reassembled the parts into makeshift speakers and remade the rifles into microphones, setting them up next to each other. She made sure to build one to wirelessly connect to the other speakers.

The DJ worked fast to set up her plan to save Shaundi and was able to alter all of the bombs in time.

She soon made it to the top of the scaffolding and saw a few STAG troops as well as Shaundi and Kia together with the soldier holding the Saint by the neck and pointing her rifle at the ramp to the top. Vinyl had to duck to avoid the shot.

With the situation as it was, it was time to execute her plan. She put on a pair of noise-cancelling earphones and pulled her microphone out, she placed it next to her mouth before she puckered her lips and blew a whistle into the device.

The speakers below picked up on the sound and played the whistling sound. The microphones near the speaker picked up on the sound from the speakers and sent the same signal back to the speakers, creating a feedback loop that caused the statue to shake and everyone without noise cancellers to clutch their ears in pain.

Seizing the opportunity, Vinyl picked up Kia, who let go of Shaundi to clutch her ears, and hurled her over the scaffolding. She repeated the process with the other STAG soldiers as well.

Before Vinyl could get to Shaundi however, a square of white light opened up beneath the Saint and she fell into it.

“Tut, tut, dear Vinyl, you didn’t think I would let her go so easily, did you?” Zinyak asked rhetorically. “We haven’t even gotten to the best part of her torment yet. Though I’d hurry if I were you. Especially since that little stunt of yours may have caused some...structural problems.”

With little time to spare and the scaffolding shaking violently, Vinyl raced down the structure. On the way down, she noticed more white rectangles opening up. She jumped over the openings and continued racing down the tower.

Unfortunately, one of the openings appeared directly below Vinyl and she fell into the white void.

Pinkamena raced through the town while avoiding the frantic townsponies who were either desperately trying to put out the flames or were running around screaming while on fire and setting other ponies on fire in their reckless racing.

Since the ponies were simulations, she had no compunction against killing a bunch of programs with the alien weapons that she picked up while killing Zin.

Pinkamena ignored the plight of the town and focused solely on her trek toward Fluttershy’s cottage. On the way, she encountered charred husks of ponies in the streets. In the distance, the madmare noticed that the entire orchard of Sweet Apple Acres was on fire.

As she neared the cottage, the fires started impeding her progress. Using her Knightmare with her strength, she created shockwaves that blew away the flames.

Pinkamena soon reached the cottage by a stream with a number of panicking animals around it. She casually walked over to the entrance across a small bridge.

Upon opening the door, Pinkamena was greeted by a white light.

When the white light faded, Pinkamena discovered that she was somewhere else. It appeared to be a strange looking grassland that she had never seen before. The grass was of a golden color and there were lone trees scattered throughout the area.

It was nighttime in her current location so it was hard to make out much of her surroundings. What she could see was a small fire in the distance. With nothing else to follow, she headed toward the distant light.

Once she was close enough, she discovered that it was a small village of straw huts in front of her. The village was oriented as a circle of huts with a stone altar in the center. Roaming the village were a number of zebras who were carrying strange materials. As she entered the village, she was met with a number of hostile stares from the zebras. Pinkamena shrugged off the stares and gazed at the altar.

The madmare’s eyes widened by what she saw. A crying Treehugger was in mourning over a couple of charred husks that were burned to the point where they were barely recognizable. Pinkamena looked closer at the bodies and saw traces of pink hair on the both of them.

“Do you see what the failure has done?” said one of the zebricans in an ominous tone. “This pretender sought to learn the ways of Zebrican Voodoo but when she chose her Loa, she was rejected and her friends paid the price for her audacity. The Loa have spoken, Zebrican Voodoo is for Zebras only. Your friend could never become one of us.”

As Pinkamena heard the Zebra’s story, she started to chuckle then giggle which turned to full blown laughter. The Zebra was confused by her display.

Once Pinkamena’s laughter died down, she put on her wicked smile. “So, this is Treehugger’s biggest fear. She is afraid of being rejected by the Loa. Everyone has their insecurities when they are about to take a huge step in their lives. I have no doubt that once Treehugger is ready, her Loa will embrace her and welcome her as her priestess.”

Treehugger heard the words of her leader and while she thought for a long time that she had killed her leader and Fluttershy, as shown by the charred corpses near her, seeing her leader ready to take on a village made her realize that she was being deceived. Upon her realization, the bodies faded away.

The stoner mare was not happy with her treatment. She walked up to Pinkamena with her flamethrower ready to turn the village and its residents to ash.

“You think this affront to our traditions will become a priestess? We will never allow it!” The Zebra turned to his fellow villagers. “Kill them both.”

Pinkamena knew things would turn out this way. With the Zebras ready to attack, the madmare decided to follow her companion’s example and pulled out some molotovs. The Zebras charged at them while some were throwing mixtures of their own. Treehugger unleashed her flames upon the villagers and their houses. Pinkamena splashed fiery liquor on each villager.

In mere minutes, the entire village was on fire. The two mares walked away from the blaze before Pinkamena told Kinzie to pull them out after warning the former prisoner of what was about to happen..

Vinyl landed inside a club of some sort. Kinzie was just as confused as Vinyl was.

While looking around, Vinyl heard a voice from below, “You’re not going anywhere, Shaundi.”

The DJ had a feeling that she needed to find a way downstairs quickly. She spotted an open door that had some stairs leading downward.

Once she reached the next floor down, she saw Shaundi being held hostage by some guy wearing a green shirt, tan baggy pants, flip flops and a wool cap colored red, green and yellow.

“Any idea who that guy is?” Kinzie asked.

“Looks like some guy who needs his flank kicked,” Vinyl responded.

The DJ mare found more stairs that led downward to the dance floor where Shaundi and the stranger were.

While the stranger was holding someone who looked like Shaundi, her appearance was a mystery to Vinyl. While the Shaundi she knew had her hair tied back, this one had her hair hanging in dreadlocks. Her clothes looked looser than Shaundi’s as well.

Given that the simulation had brought the DJ mare to this location, Vinyl still had to figure out how to resolve the matter without Shaundi getting hurt.

“Hey you, weirdo in the green shirt, who are you?”

The agitator became irritated that the mare didn’t know his name. For the sake of his pride, he introduced himself. “I am the triple platinum DJ Veteran Child I’m the best DJ in all of Stilwater. This bitch belongs to me so if you know what’s good for you, you’ll scram.”

“A DJ, huh?” Vinyl thought to herself. She knew what she needed to do now. It had been a while since she had to put a wannabe punk DJ in his place. Vinyl decided that it was time to throw down.

“In that case, why don’t we put our reputations on the line and battle it out like real DJs would, with our turntables.”

“You think I’m gonna accept that? This is just some ploy to get me to let Shaundi go.”

“Sounds to me like they would give a triple platinum title to anyone in this world if they gave it to a no talent hack like you. Where’s your pride as a DJ? Or are you just scared to go against Equestria’s greatest, DJ P0N-3?”

“That’s it! I won’t let some pony who thinks she can scratch mock my triple platinum status.” He let go of Shaundi and a turntable appeared in front of the DJ. He programmed his tracks and got ready to throw down. “Bring it!”

Vinyl smirked as she produced a golden turntable from her mane. Her tracks were already programmed and ready to go.

With that, the battle between the DJs began.

Veteran Child was showing his impressive skills with his scratch techniques and while Vinyl was mildly impressed, she had heard better from past ponies who tried to scratch with her.

Vinyl had decided that Veteran Child had enough fun with his table so now it was her turn. Veteran Child quickly noticed that the DJ mare was laying down some sick beats. He had never encountered a DJ who could scratch like he could.

Then again, he never had much competition outside of Stilwater.

Veteran Child was starting to feel the pressure as the beats that his competition was dishing out was quickly eclipsing his own.

With one burst of the bass, Veteran Child and his turntable was blown back and off the dance floor.

While Vinyl and Shaundi were celebrating the victory, Zinyak decided to interfere. “A most impressive performance. Though I think he deserves a second chance. In fact, I think he deserves a lot of chances.”

That was when a number of Veteran Childs appeared on the dance floor armed with pistols. Vinyl did her best to dodge the shots while Shaundi was firing back with her own pistol but the odds were now against them.

“Looks like you could use a spot of assistance, Vinyl,” said Matt Miller. “I’m not sure how it happened, but it appears that I can connect you to the Steelport simulation and give you some assistance.”

With that, what looked like a bolt of lightning struck Vinyl. Her appearance suddenly changed as she was now wearing a form-fitting bodysuit that covered her body from her neck to above her hooves. She was also wearing a black jacket over the suit with the collar extending past the back of her head with a neon blue glow of her cutie mark on the back. Her glasses were also sharper at the end.

Vinyl smirked as she thought about the pain she was about to deliver. “So, you wanna be a sore loser? Fine by me.”

With access to Super Sprint, Vinyl dashed from Veteran Child to Veteran Child, tagging them with electrically charged hooves and overloading their programs, deleting them. Using her telekinesis, empowered by the digital universe, she pulled the Veteran Childs into once place before she zapped them all with an Electric Blast that deleted them.

With the threat ended, Vinyl turned to Shaundi. “Are you really Shaundi?” she asked.

“Last I checked.”

That was when a hand came out of Shaundi’s chest and another Shaundi, one that Vinyl was more familiar with, struggled her way out of the other Shaundi.

The baggy-looking Shaundi stared at the other Shaundi in wonder. “Whoa, freaky.”

“So this is Zinyak’s idea of a sick joke? To make me see my old coked up self?” the present Shaundi asked.

“Whoa, you need to chill.”

“What I need is to get out of this place and away from you.”

“When did I become no fun?”

“When the Saints started whoring themselves to Ultor and I was forced to stop smoking dust from a broken bulb all day.”

“Is there still a reason why you can’t smoke one now?”

“Yeah, because I’ve been abducted by aliens for God knows how long.”

“Whoa, harsh.”

Present Shaundi had to admit that with or without getting high, she was still getting captured and used as a hostage. Though she decided that she would rather have her focus than be a baked, promiscuous girl like the visage before her.

Kinzie decided to have the conversation end, “As entertaining as this might be, how about I get you out of there. You can settle your differences later.”

With that, Vinyl and Shaundi were pulled out of the simulation.

Back on the ship, the crew was hard at work when Playa yelled from the room where the fridge was. "Which one of you has been raiding the fridge? There was a can of beer in here with my name on it and now it's gone."

Nobody fessed up to the crime and the mystery remained a mystery.

Loyalty: Zarinette's Chosen

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“So, how did you like your new superpowers?” Pinkamena asked.

After Pinkamena and Vinyl had rescued Treehugger and Shaundi respectively, the ship had to move fast once again to rescue the latest pair of captives from the Zin.

Shaundi was found naked and drenched in goo like the rest of the captured victims while mercilessly blasting living and dead Zin and clearly projecting her personal issues upon them.

Treehugger was not a happy pony while sober. Since the Zin destroyed her entire stash of Loa Dust, she had nothing to get high on. Adding the fact that there were lingering feelings about her torments from her prison simulation, she was ready to blast every alien that even looked at her wrong.

Once Pinkamena had found the now sober pony, she offered a packet of Dust from the stash in her mane. However, Treehugger refused the offering because she was going to need it for something important later, something that she had been putting off for years.

Something that she had found the courage to do thanks to the events in the simulation.

After the rescues, Pinkamena wanted to see how her DJ friend felt about her new powers.

“The powers were an awesome bonus, but what I really loved was the cyberpunk outfit that came with it. I am so rubbing the outfit in Tavi’s face when we rescue her.”

Pinkamena shook her head in amusement. “Only you would find the fashion statement cooler than superpowers.”

Vinyl’s grin widened. “I’ve been wanting to try cyberpunk ever since I saw it on those Deckers when I first came to Steelport.”

“It’s a shame you never joined my gang when you arrived,” said Matt. “You would have fit in quite well with us.”

Vinyl shrugged, “Maybe, but I think I made the right choice when I joined the Saints. Us being where we are now only vindicated my choice.”

Matt nodded sagely, “Right, I’d be dead or worse if it weren’t for the Saints.”

“Anyway, mind if I try my hoof at hacking the simulation?”

“Well, I guess that would be alright.”

With that, Vinyl lit her horn and started interacting with the screen that Matt was using. While she returned the Imagined As Edges stores to their original state as Image As Designed stores, she decided to add her own personal touch to the Planet Zin stores that had already been hacked and reconfigured them into clothing stores called “Planet Cyber,” stores that sold cyberpunk clothing.

“You know that not everyone is as interested in the fashion as you are,” Matt commented.

“I know, the stores still sell the same clothing as before. Only difference is that cyberpunk clothes are discounted,” Vinyl said with a cheeky grin.

“And just like that you’re my favorite pony out of you lot.”

During the downtime between tasks, the growing number of Saints on the ship were having their own conversations with each other.

Shaundi was furious that the Earth was destroyed. After she learned that bit of news and the way the Saints were using it to locate Zinyak’s throne room, she started thinking of a way for the Saints to start tearing up the simulation.

At the same time, the alternate version of Shaundi from back in Stilwater had connected with the ship’s computer and had overheard the news. Not wanting to be as useless as her present self believed her to be, she also started making plans to disrupt the simulation.

The strangest thing however, was when Pinkamena discovered a change in Treehugger’s behavior. She was performing meditations and bathing herself with a determined expression on her face. Pinkamena had seen enough movies about that kind of behavior to know that the mare was preparing herself for some sort of ritual. What that ritual was she wasn’t sure.

For now, it was time for some more tasks. Kinzie wanted to open another gateway in Stanfield, CID had one last set of tasks which included stabilizing one of her rifts, Matt wanted more data on how the simulation worked, Shaundi wanted to see some violence in the simulation and the other Shaundi wanted to prove her usefulness with her own set of tasks.

With only a few devices that the Saints could use to enter the simulation, they were limited on how many people could help in the simulation. Playa, Pinkamena and Vinyl would help with the tasks. The last entry device was to be used by Johnny because he was tired of waiting for something to happen so he figured that he would start causing trouble in the simulation now that his avatar was powered up.

Before they entered the simulation though, Pinkamena had a question for Kinzie, “When are we going to free my sisters?”

“Zinyak has a tighter lock on their simulation than any of our friends. There’s an encryption on their simulation that changes too fast for any cypher to be usable for long enough to get in there. I’ve tried to isolate the algorithm behind the shifting code but even that seems to be changing. The only one that I know who could manipulate the security data to the simulation long enough to produce a valid cypher that can get you in there would be…”

“Moondancer…” Pinkamena finished.

“Until then, we have to focus on saving the others first,” Kinzie concluded.

Pinkamena nodded then headed into the simulation.

Once back in Virtual Steelport, the Saints set forth to their individual tasks.

Vinyl handled Kinzie’s latest list of stores to hack. She was tasked with hacking five stores throughout Stanfield. After the first store, an Image as Designed in Burns Hill, the difficulty of the store security systems increased from four by four puzzles to five by five puzzles. However, while the DJ was known to be lazy a lot of the time through the account of Octavia, she was still quite intelligent. The puzzles set before her were hardly a challenge for the DJ.

The last task on Kinzie’s list was another virus upload, in Salander this time.

Vinyl combined the technology of the Bounce Rifle and incorporated it into her Dubstep Gun. Once she was finished, the enemies that showed up were in for a nasty surprise.

When enemies gathered together in large numbers, Vinyl unleashed her modified weapon. The musical waves impacted against the denizens of the system and from them came echoes of the sounds that hit them. Those echoes pulsed from the victims and hit enemies near them which caused them to generate echoes which reverberated, ultimately destroying Vinyl’s enemies.

This continued until the virus upload was complete.

With Kinzie’s list complete, it was time to move on to Past Shaundi’s list.

The first task on Pinkamena’s list was a tricky one. The task involved one of CID’s rifts being stabilized by using her horn to throw logic bombs at targets on firewall towers. CID informed her that the more efficient her performance, the better her score would be.

Once the activity started, she saw three targets ahead of her with lights that were alternating between red and yellow. The towers were also launching bombs at her.

Pinkamena knew that she was in for a challenge.

Using her Telekinesis, Pinkamena was able to grab the bombs and hurl them back at the appropriate targets. Watching Rarity use her magic had given the madmare an understanding of how Unicorn Telekinesis worked and how to grab multiple targets.

With that knowledge, Pinkamena was able to grab multiple bombs at once and hurl them back at their proper targets before the colors shifted.

Once she was done with one set, she moved on to the next which was done the same way, even with the number of targets and bombs increasing.

The last set had a lot of targets and her position was being bombarded by bombs. It took all of Pinkamena’s concentration to avoid having the bombs blow up in her face while matching bombs with targets.

Once the last set was finished, Pinkamena was mentally exhausted. She needed a break before the next activity.

After CID ejected Pinkamena from the rift, the madmare took a few minutes to rest her mind before she was ready to move on to the next activity.

Thankfully, it was another Zin patrol which was in the Port Pryor neighborhood. The Zin only saw a pink blur before they were wiped out.

With that brief moment of fun taken care of, Pinkamena headed for the next mentally taxing activity as she had to take part in another episode of Professor Genki’s Mind Over Murder.

However, compared to the rift, Pinkamena had less trouble with her latest telekinetic activity as she simply threw a bunch of people, vehicles and heads all at once through the proper rings.

While she had to do the same thing in six different areas, there was still the satisfaction of watching unfortunate mascots fly over the horizon.

While she was having her fun, Pinkamena heard some interesting information from Zach and Bobby about a race of warriors from decades ago being led by someone called “The King.” Whoever the figure was had given Zinyak a hard time that the alien overlord severed their consciousness and placed it in a simulation while the body withered and expired. Some part of her thought that the information might be worth knowing for later.

Pinkamena soon finished the episode with time to spare and had also finished the last task on CID’s list.

She had one more list to finish before she was done though.

Vinyl felt quite charged after she had finished Shaundi’s list.

She first tested out her Super Sprint with a simple race through Downtown Steelport. Next, she tested her Dubstep Gun with reverb against a Zin patrol which was followed by a rift stabilizing by racing around and collecting data packets. She treated that activity like a fun little game.

Once she was finished hacking an Image as Designed in Bridgeport, she was finished with the list and headed back to the ship.

Pinkamena had a lot of fun doing Present Shaundi’s list.

She started by heading to the airport in Northeastern Steelport and blew up everything in sight, then she took part in another fight club match. This time she was up against the Ronin enforcer, Jyunichi. The samurai ended up getting stabbed by his own swords after Pinkamena telekinetically ripped them from his hands and followed up by setting him on fire with her Blast.

She went to Sunset Park where she located a rogue program named Zintrojan. The program ended up impaled by spears and swords by a pony wearing ancient Greek armor before it was sliced to pieces by her Vorpal Blade.

After clearing out another Zin patrol in the same area, Pinkamena headed to Salander in Stanfield where she skillfully raced through the area and taxed the system.

With the last list done, Pinkamena returned to the ship.

Once on the ship, everyone reported the completion of their tasks. Playa had stabilized a platforming rift, wiped out a patrol in Yearwood and raced around in New Baranec. Johnny decided to be bold by shutting down a Hotspot in Rosen Oaks before playing King of the Hill in Yearwood while a virus was being uploaded.

In the same area, he also cleared out a Zin patrol and blew stuff up with a tank.

The last thing he did was take out a Zin patrol in Burns Hill where he had the pleasure of murdering a Warden.

Johnny still had more that he wanted to do but was taking a break while he let the others have their fun.

The Saints received a lot of rewards for their efforts in disrupting the simulation. Kinzie opened a second gateway in Stanfield, their Telekinesis powers had an option to make the affected discharge electricity, something that Vinyl would put to good use. Playa got a set of Matt’s old Decker clothes. The simulated murderbots were analyzed enough to reproduce a laser minigun. The Stomp ability was given an option to invert gravity and leave enemies hanging helplessly in midair. Finally, Johnny found a strange alien weapon that could deploy black holes to suck people in, a weapon that Vinyl took for herself for use in modifying her Dubstep Gun.

“Pinkamena? Can I get you and Vinyl to help me with something?” Treehugger asked.

Originally, Pinkamena’s next plan for the simulation was to rescue Pierce and Gilda from their simulations. While there had been considerations to have Pinkamena and Vinyl each rescue one of their friends, CID didn’t have the capacity to handle more than two cyphers at a time. With that in mind, the plan was now to have Playa and Johnny rescue one of their friends while Pinkamena brought one of her’s along to save one of her friends.

The current plan was put on hold as soon as Treehugger made a request.

“What is it?” Pinkamena asked.

“I’d like for Kinzie, Matt and Vinyl to help set up a simulation similar to the one I was imprisoned in. The savannah environment that Zebricans live in is the best place for me to conduct my ritual to become a Voodoo Priestess. I need to commune with the Loa I have chosen and become a vessel for her will and power.

“While I am communing with my Loa, I need you and Vinyl to protect me in case Zinyak tries to disrupt the ritual.”

Pinkamena knew that this was important for the mare given how serious Treehugger looked. However, she had to ask to be sure of her resolve, “Are you sure? You know you don’t have to do this. We could always just give you superpowers in the simulation.”

Treehugger shook her head. “I’m sure, this day has been put off for far too long.”

With that, the three hackers got to work in designing a savannah environment similar to the one in Zebrica. It didn’t take long for the three to finish the design.

Pinkamena, Vinyl and Treehugger stepped onto their respective platforms and entered the simulation. Almost immediately the three of them were pulled into Treehugger’s simulation.

The three ponies looked around the savannah environment. All they could see were tall trees that grew in isolation from other trees, tall golden grass and mountains in the distance.

The only distinct landmark in the area was a stone formation that looked to be an excellent place for an altar.

Pinkamena pulled out the bag of Loa Dust from her mane and gave it to Treehugger. The green mare found a stick nearby and picked it up. Around the altar, she drew a number of symbols that Pinkamena didn’t recognize around the altar. She figured that they were Zebrican in origin.

Once the circle was complete, Treehugger jumped atop the stone altar and sat upon it. She took one last breath to calm herself before she began. She spoke in the Zebrican language that she had been taught during her time in the Zebra country. Her gesture indicated that she was making a plea to the higher powers of the Zebra. After a few minutes, she heard a faint voice. Once she heard that she opened the bag of Dust and poured the contents into an indentation in the rock before she pulled out a match from her mane. She swiped the match against the rock which lit the tiny wooden stick and set the dust on fire.

The fumes from the burning dust rose to Treehugger’s muzzle. She breathed the fumes in deeply before she entered into a trance.

Pinkamena had a feeling that their part of the task was about to begin. Especially when a familiar voice made his presence known.

“My apologies for the tardiness, but I had a small issue come up. I can see that you are attempting something interesting. It would be quite rude to interrupt such an important day for your friend, but I am in a foul mood so forgive me for my rude behavior.”

That was when numerous Zin portals opened up around the area which was followed by a large number of Zin troops dropping from them.

The two mares had maniacal grins on their faces as they engaged the waves of Zin troops.

Vinyl had modified her Dubstep Gun again to have a setting that when a blast hit an enemy, they would collapse into a singularity and draw in more enemies.

Whenever a group of enemies got pulled together, Pinkamena would move in and smash them with her Knightmare. Those who were at the point of impact were splattered around the crater made by the hobby horse while the rest were flung in all directions.

One group that pulled together got a taste of Vinyl’s Electric Telekinesis as the group was horribly electrocuted.

More portals opened around the altar area and the area soon became surrounded by Zin soldiers. This became frustrating to the duo as they struggled to defend Treehugger from the relentless onslaught.

Minutes passed and the two were slowly becoming overwhelmed as they felt like they were dealing with the entire Zin Empire.

Suddenly, the area around them felt as if they had just been hit by waves of heat from the merciless sun. They felt the strongest waves of heat hit their backs. The Zin around the duo looked stunned by what they were seeing. Without taking their eyes off their opponents, the two mares looked behind them so see what the Zin were looking at.

They saw Treehugger, in the form that Pinkamena once saw her as in Stilwater. Her coat was jet black while her mane and tail were crimson. The only difference from her past version however, were the crimson stripes that adorned her body.

The mare held her head up and opened her eyes to show scarlet orbs.

And then she spoke, “My Loa, these are the followers of the world destroyer. The path to vengeance shall begin with them.”

The Zin took a step back but that didn’t help them as Treehugger beckoned her friends inside the ritual circle. Once Pinkamena and Vinyl were inside, Treehugger unleashed a deadly wave of flames that radiated outward from the circle and set the landscape around her on fire while incinerating the Zin and the portals.

Now that they were alone, relatively, Pinkamena asked a question, “So, how did your meeting with Zarinette go?”

Treehugger smiled, “She was quite furious about what Zinyak did to her counterpart’s world and that the destruction of that world came far too prematurely in regard to the plans that were in place by the Creator. The Creator knew about the connection between Zarinette and myself so he tasked her with finding a way to deal with the guy who’s been going around and messing with his plans. This ritual was a long time coming so now Zarinette’s plans can finally be put into motion now that I’ve become her priestess.”

“And what are those plans exactly?” Pinkamena asked with a raised eyebrow.

Treehugger shrugged, “She didn’t say, only that we just need to keep doing what we’ve been doing.”

Pinkamena sighed, “Okay by me, I guess.”

With the matter settled, Pinkamena, Vinyl and Treehugger were pulled out of the simulation.

Since Treehugger needed more time to recover after the ritual, Pinkamena and Vinyl returned to their original plan of heading into Gilda’s simulation and rescuing her while Playa and Johnny rescued Pierce.

Inside the simulation, the four gathered at The Broken Shillelagh with CID. Just like before, she received the cyphers from Kinzie and opened the gateways into the prison simulations. Playa and Johnny entered Pierce’s simulation while Pinkamena and Vinyl entered Gilda’s

The equine duo found themselves high in the mountains which, according to the maps of Equestria, was around where Griffonstone was located. Pinkamena had a feeling that Gilda’s nightmare related to the city.

According to what they learned in Equus History class, Griffonstone and the Griffon towns in the area were in a state of decline since the last of the Griffon monarchy died decades ago and had no heir to take over.

Since then, the nobles had squandered their resources in making their claims to the throne. Unfortunately, too much of those resources had been spent trying to discredit the other Griffon houses that the nobility had put themselves into a state of poverty along with the common folk. The squandered money ended up falling into the hooves of the Equestrians in exchange for their assistance in smearing their rivals. This ultimately put the houses in debt to Equestria.

When the nobles had realized their mistake, it was already too late. With the national economy of Griffonia in shambles, fears rose within the populace that there would come a time when Equestria would move in and annex the nation while the less agreeable Griffons would be enslaved.

The nation might have fallen into that state were it not for Princess Celestia’s benevolence in allowing the Griffons to keep their pride intact and not acting on those fears. However, that benevolence did nothing to dispel the fears of Griffonia because their way of life hinged on the whims of one Alicorn ruler.

If Gilda shared in the fears of her people, Pinkamena had a very good idea of what to expect when she and Vinyl reached Griffonstone.

The madmare looked up to confirm her suspicions and found what she was looking for. A squadron of Pegasi guards were flying in a “V” pattern around the Griffon capitol.

The duo walked up to the entrance and saw that it was guarded by Equestrian guards. The guards noticed the mares, “Halt! This city behind us is part of the newest province of Equestria under the domain of Her Excellency, Duchess Rainbow Dash.

Pinkamena barely resisted the urge to facehoof. “Pinkie, why is it that your friends have to be such pains in the flank?”

“It’s not my fault for trying to be friends with Gilda but she kept turning me down because she wanted to take Dashie away from us.”

“It’s obvious that Gilda has some political insecurities about her country being deeply indebted to Equestria that would lead her to having trust issues with Ponies. Dash probably put a lot of effort into trying to get Gilda to trust her only for all that effort to be wasted because of that prank-themed party.

“This simulation probably has to do with those political insecurities combined with Gilda’s feelings about Dash betraying her.”

“I have a question, Mena. How did you earn Gilda’s trust? If she hates ponies so much then how did you get through to her?”

“Loyalty is earned through actions, though sometimes a little shock and awe is needed to get the ball rolling. I showed that I wasn’t all talk when I butchered those Ronin, but I also showed that I can be a nice mare when I had those gloves made for her. I let her be as she wanted while I set reasonable boundaries. I let her get her anger and frustrations out of her system in a way that benefited the Saints. Her loyalty comes from me letting her be her...within reason.”

“State your business,” one of the guards ordered.

Pinkamena knew that they needed to find Gilda fast before Zinyak decided to act. They needed to find Gilda before the operation became complicated.

The best course of action would be to talk to Rainbow Dash and hope she led them to Gilda.

“We have official business with the Duchess, let us pass,” Pinkamena said with an authoritative tone.

The two guards looked at each other before one of them called a third guard to head to the manor to confirm the madmare’s claims. The guard returned fifteen minutes later to relay the Duchess’ words. The other two guards frowned at the two of them. “The Duchess isn’t seeing anyone today. Turn away or we will arrest you.”

“Time for Plan B then,” Vinyl said as she raised one hoof then stomped, creating a shockwave that sent the guards flying into the air before she grabbed each one in her Telekinesis and hurled them off the mountain.

“Wait, how do you have powers outside of the Steelport simulation?” Pinkamena asked.

“Turned my avatar into an anchor point to link the two simulations. Me being here means you can do the same,” Vinyl explained.

“You really should tell me the important things before we enter simulations. We wouldn’t have had to waste time talking to those losers.”

“I thought you were just practicing your diplomatic skills,” Vinyl quipped.

Pinkamena rolled her eyes as the two walked into Griffonstone. The madmare grumbled as she only just now realized that she still had her horn. She figured that she was getting used to the appendage if she hadn’t noticed the extra weight until now.

The guards noticed the commotion and came rushing toward the entrance. The guards gathered close to each other and that proved to be a big mistake as Pinkamena pulled out her Singularity Gun and pulled the guards into a black hole while Vinyl used the reverb function of her Dubstep Gun to destroy the group in one blast.

Without waiting for another group of guards to show up, Pinkamena and Vinyl raced for the place that had the heaviest protection which turned out to be a manor built from Equestrian architecture.

Having no time to deal with simulated guards, the duo brutally tore through the guards outside the entrance before Pinkamena bashed the door off its hinges with her Knightmare.

After killing more guards while exploring the building, Pinkamena and Vinyl found Gilda. The two suppressed a giggle when they saw that she was wearing a maid uniform. Given Gilda’s pride, they knew that Gilda was likely miserable while being subservient to the Equestrians.

“Hey Gilda, time to get out of here,” Pinkamena called out.

“I can’t leave. The Duchess demands that I clean this place,” Gilda responded in monotone.

“Gilda you don’t have to do that. This is just a simulation, a fake world.”

“Must clean for the Duchess.”

“That’s right, my servant,” came the voice of Rainbow Dash from behind the two mares. The two turned around to find the prismatic-maned pegasus in a fancy dress of teal, white and gold. Her mane was tied in a bun while she had garnet earrings hanging from her ears. “You know what happened last time you tried to defy me.” She frowned as she saw the intruders. “You two shall be charged with treason against the Crown of Equestria for your invasion of my duchy. Guards! Arrest them!”

It was then that a large number of guards entered the foyer with spears.

Seeing the guards gave Pinkamena an idea on how to deal with this mess and snap Gilda out of her trance-like state. The madmare’s smile grew to maniacal levels. “Hey Vinyl, think you can increase the blood effect to maximum?”

Vinyl lit her horn for a moment before the glow disappeared. “Done.”

Pinkamena pulled out her Vorpal Blade and a cleaver that was made from the same material as the Vorpal Blade. It was then that the madmare began to giggle before she charged into the group of guards. The giggling turned to laughter then to maniacal laughter as guard after guard was butchered. The blood sprayed all over the foyer.

Pinkamena ran upstairs and into the different rooms of the house while making sure the guards knew where she was so she could lure them into a trap in order to coat the rooms throughout the mansion in blood.

Gilda took a moment to look at the area around her. The moment she noticed that the house had turned into a bloody scene from a horror movie, frustration set in. That frustration reawakened her spirit and allowed fury to set in.

With a furious roar, she threw down her washrag. “THAT IT! I QUIT!” she screamed.

Gilda suddenly remembered where she was before she turned to face Rainbow Dash with a murderous look in her eyes.

“You think you can take me, G? I’ll make you--”

That was when a book hit her face.

Rainbow removed the book from her face before she looked at the cover. The title read, “Rocket to Insanity.” The Duchess had a confused look on her face.

That moment was all Pinkamena needed before she suddenly appeared in Dash’s face while maintaining her maniacal smile. Dash’s response was too slow as Pinkamena delivered an uppercut to her chin that ripped her head off and sent it flying with her spine through the ceiling and high into the sky.

Gilda’s eyes widened as she saw what happened. “Tell me that I didn’t do anything to piss her off. I’d prefer to keep my head attached,” she inquired to Vinyl.

Satisfied with her work, Pinkamena’s smile was toned down to a friendlier look. “That’s done. So Gilda, you ready to get out of here?”

“Y-yeah, the further away from this place the better.”

“Good, because in a few seconds, you’re about to be fighting a bunch of aliens while we fight our way to you.”

“Wait, what?”

Gilda’s vision blacked out.

Loyalty: The Grimfeather Hunt

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After being rescued by the Saints, Gilda was complaining nonstop about the goop that coated her coat and feathers. Getting around the Zin mothership became a difficult task for the griffon with her feathers drenched in the slime that she was immersed in for who knew how long.

Pierce was also picked up and he complained about being lower on the list of people to be saved than Shaundi. Everyone just let him blow off steam until he tired himself out and moved on like he always did.

Once Pierce finally calmed down, he regaled the Equestrians about the adventure he, Playa and Johnny just had while trying to get him out of the simulation which involved fighting a Kaiju-sized Saints Flow mascot named Paul and how Kinzie evened the odds by having a similar-sized statue of Joe Magarac, a name Playa failed to recognize despite hearing about it plenty of times in the past, fight the aluminum mascot. That fight ended when the statue impaled the mascot on a giant girder.

Gilda wasn’t willing to share her story because her simulation was a huge blow to her pride. The griffon vowed to return the favor at some point. Pinkamena and Vinyl made a Pinkie Promise to never mention what happened in Gilda’s simulation.

After Pinkamena told the griffon that Zinyak blew up the Earth, Gilda was saddened that so many innocent people died to the egomaniacal alien overlord.

Gilda knew that this was going to be their toughest fight yet so in order to be prepared for the final battle, she needed to embrace an old family tradition that was long discarded since the fall of the Griffon Empire.

The Grimfeather Hunt.

During wartime, this tradition was used as a family ritual of empowerment that taught young griffons who came of age who their enemies would be by capturing a representative of the enemy and having the participants hunt down and kill the prey. By completing the rite, the new hunter would be given the hunting secrets of their ancestors.

Outside of wartime, the rite was more barbaric as a hunter who was burdened by emotional turmoil as a result of another living creature would be made to hunt down and kill that creature in order to free themselves of that burden. This often involved ponies that they had befriended.

The tradition ended with the fall of the Empire when the young hunters continued to fail the rite as Equestrian influence took root in their hearts.

Gilda would be invoking that rite. While she wouldn’t be killing the real thing, this was meant to emotionally separate her from her personal issues so that she could focus her entire being on hunting down Zinyak.

With her newfound resolve to take part in the hunt, the griffon approached her friends and told them about her intentions. After she finished her explanation, Vinyl got to work on setting things up for her ritual.

Some time later, the time had come for another set of tasks to be completed in the Saints bid to hijack the simulation from Zinyak.

Kinzie wanted to open another gateway into the central Downtown district.

Matt had one last set of tasks he needed done before he felt fully confident in his ability to manipulate the simulation. He also had a more personal matter he wanted to discuss with Playa.

Present Shaundi and Past Shaundi each had their own additional sets of tasks that needed to be done.

Pierce felt like Playa was stressed out, though with Pinkamena around he could understand why. In order to help the Saints leader, “Doctor” Pierce prescribed him with a list of fun things to do in the simulation.

Vinyl was still working on Gilda’s project but Treehugger was willing to go into the simulation, mainly because she wanted to give her new powers a test run.

Playa, Johnny, Pinkamena and Treehugger each stepped onto one of the platforms around the simulation terminal before their minds were projected into the digital realm once again.

Inside the simulation, Johnny immediately ran off to be a badass again while the five lists were divided between the remaining three. Since Pierce’s tasks were meant for Playa, he was only given Pierce’s list to complete while Pinkamena agreed to handle Kinzie’s list and Matt’s list and Treehugger was given the lists from both Shaundis to complete.

Playa was about to complain again about being given so little to do but the ponies were long gone before he could get a word out. Sighing in defeat, Playa headed off to complete his list.

Kinzie’s list focused on the shops in southern and central Downtown Steelport. In Loren Square, Pinkie hacked a Friendly Fire and an Image As Designed while in Sunset Park, she hacked a Rim Jobs, Rusty’s Needle and a Planet Zin which transformed into a Planet Cyber because Vinyl was a bit obsessed with cyberpunk.

Just like Kinzie’s previous list, the series ended with another virus injection in order to get the next gateway open. Pinkamena didn’t mind killing whatever Zin or wacky programs came after her but Kinzie’s lists were very tedious and repetitive which translated to boring in the madmare’s mind.

In the least, Matt’s list was not boring.

Pinkamena finally had a chance to shut down one of the remaining Hotspots in the simulation, this time in Yearwood. Unlike Playa’s method, Pinkamena’s method had a lot more impact as she went from generator to generator where she stomped and sent the guards floating in the air before she grabbed each of them in her telekinesis and sent them all flying. The generators were smashed into scrap metal by her Knightmare.

At the main controller, Pinkamena ignored the guards as she simply smashed the device. Once the device deactivated, the Zin played it smart and retreated instead of wasting their efforts over a lost objective.

Pinkamena had another area to defend while Matt uploaded a virus before she hacked another Rim Jobs in the same neighborhood and concluded Matt’s list by clearing out another Zin patrol.

Once her tasks were finished, she headed back to the ship while the others finished their tasks.

Present Shaundi wanted to see CID assisted with the stabilization of one of her rifts.

Inside the rift, Treehugger was challenged with an activity similar to the one that taxed Pinkamena’s mind where she had to telekinetically throw bombs at towers and destroy them.

The activity proved a challenge for the voodoo mare as she lacked the level of skill that Pinkamena possessed but the challenge itself was not as difficult as the madmare’s challenge either.

Treehugger still managed to finish the activity with a gold rating though she also hoped to not do something like that again.

At the same time, she felt as though her mind had been enhanced as a result of her success.

The remaining tasks were not a problem for the voodoo pony. She cleared out a Zin patrol in Espina by hurling a large fireball that exploded upon the device the Zin were guarding and the guards caught fire and succumbed to their burns.

Treehugger had an encounter with the weird glitches in the simulation when she was tasked with eliminating a rogue program named Render CPU. The target was literally a giant question mark.

Treehugger stared at the living punctuation for a few moments before it tried attacking her. The voodoo mare shrugged before she conjured a spectral machete and slashed through the program multiple times.

Her last task on the list was to steal a data-infused car. Thankfully, she hadn’t forgotten her driving lessons when she was helping people sell drugs on the streets and managed to drive it to the designated spot while protecting it with fiery enchantments that caused any vehicle that hit it to catch fire and explode or any enemy to catch fire.

Past Shaundi’s list was smaller than Present Shaundi’s. The first task was another Zin patrol to roast in Camano Place followed by another car to steal where she repeated the same strategy as the previous car she stole.

Treehugger needed a little assistance with the last task as she struggled a little with puzzles and Past Shaundi wanted her to hack an Image as Designed in Rosen Oaks. Thankfully, Vinyl was able to guide her through the task and the voodoo mare was able to complete hacking the store with plenty of time to spare.

Treehugger returned to the ship and waited for the others to finish.

Back on the ship, Pinkamena and Treehugger waited a few minutes while Playa and Johnny returned from their latest adventures in cyberspace.

When Playa returned, he was slightly irked that Pierce suggested getting hit by cars was a means of relaxation. While he did take out two Zin patrols, which was fun, getting hit by cars was not.

Johnny soon returned feeling proud of himself as he caused more death and destruction in Zinyak’s simulation. He started out by trashing a neighborhood in a Mech Suit before tearing into another Zin patrol.

While he was also proud of killing a number of programs and glitches while a virus was being uploaded and he got to trash another neighborhood in a Zin ship, his most satisfying moment was when he murdered a rogue program that looked and acted like his old boss, Julius Little. Johnny had some lingering issues with his old boss’s betrayal.

The benefits the Saints gained from this venture was another gateway, an option of the Blast ability that made enemies to glitch out and fight for the Saints, a couple of new vehicles, a set of Past Shaundi’s clothes, a ray gun that comically inflated people’s heads until they exploded, and an upgrade to the Singularity Gun.

Some time later, Pinkamena noticed that Playa was in the simulation with Matt. Seeing Kinzie at the console, she asked, “What are those two doing in the Simulation?”

“Miller wanted to show the boss some dumb little training simulation he made but in reality he just wanted the boss to roleplay with him in his silly little simulated NyteBlayde fanfic.”

“Hopefully it’ll be better than that crackfic me and Octavia had to live through a while back.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Miller is a much better writer than anyone gives him credit. Not Benjamin King good, but good.”

Pinkamena reached into her mane and pulled out a bottle of mouthwash and gave it to Kinzie who eagerly accepted the bottle, opened it and poured some of the contents into her mouth before swirling it in her mouth then spitting it out onto the floor, not caring that she was making a mass. “Thanks,” Kinzie said.

It was then that Gilda entered the room with Vinyl. The griffon with a determined look on her face while the unicorn looked carefree as she took her spot at one of the simulation terminals and began starting up the program she had made for her griffon companion.

In the meantime, Gilda turned to Pinkamena to address her, “Boss, I’d like to ask a personal favor. I want you to be my tracking assistant in my hunt. Tradition dictates that I may request the aid of another griffon to help track my quarry but the trapping and execution of my prey is all on me. Since we don’t have any other griffons, I’d like for you to be my tracker.”

“Why me?”

“Because of all who know the quarry the most, it’s me and your sister, Pinkie.”

“Is she asking us to help her hunt and kill Dashie? I can’t do that,” Pinkie fretted.

“Relax Pinkie, it’s only a simulation. We’re not killing the real Rainbow Dash, just some digital copy of her, Probably that mean Duchess version of her that turned Gilda into…”

“Don’t say it!”

“Why? You already know about the incident.”

“It doesn’t matter, you made a Pinkie Promise to never mention it. Talking to me about it still counts.”

“Fine, but you still understand what I’m talking about. This is Gilda’s chance to vent some lingering personal frustrations from her past without there being any real consequences to the real thing.”

“Well, okay,” Pinkie said hesitantly.

With that, Pinkamena and Gilda entered the simulation to begin their hunt.

Once the duo was back in Virtual Steelport, Gilda turned to Pinkamena. “Alright, I’ll check the skies. If you find any sign of the quarry, let me know.”

Gilda took off into the air while Pinkamena rushed through the city on hoof using her Super Sprint.

“I know she’s a competitive speedster who likes to sleep lazily on the clouds, but where do we begin looking for her since there are no clouds she could reach in the simulation?” Pinkamena asked.

Pinkie hummed. She thought back on Rainbow Dash’s folder that she kept in her party cave back in Ponyville when she suddenly realized something. “Dashie’s birthday is today!” she gasped.

“How do you know that? We have no way of telling time out here.”

“Because you let me play with the Saints Row timeline.”

“Oh right, I did let you do that.”

Using her special sense that Pinkie uses when someone or somepony is in need of a birthday party, she was able to pick up on Rainbow Dash’s location. Her sense picked up the prismatic mare’s location at Port Pryor on Carver Island. Pinkamena immediately relayed the location to Gilda. The griffon flew at full speed toward the location.

Gilda caught sight of the prismatic mare before she was able to leave the search area. Dash’s trajectory was cut off when a hail of bullets entered her path. She quickly halted her flight and looked around for whoever tried to attack her. She didn’t have to look for more than a second to see the griffon pointing her SMGs at her.

“Hey there, Crash,” Gilda mocked.

“Hey there, G. You look weird without the maid outfit.”

“And you look weird wearing froufrou,” Gilda countered.

“Gotta look good when taking over Steelport. My good buddy Z even gave me some awesome powers to kick your flank with.”

“Wait, what?” Gilda squawked in shock.

“Surprise! I hope you enjoy this little reunion with your old friend, Gilda,” said Zinyak from out of nowhere. “I found it to be a little unfair for your little friend to be at such a disadvantage against her hunter that I decided to give her a handicap.

“And now the classic trope of how the hunter becomes the hunted.”

That was when Rainbow Dash sucker punched Gilda in her face and sent her flying into a skyscraper. The blow knocked the wind out of the griffon.

Gilda managed to recover from her attack but was now on the defensive as she was facing an empowered Rainbow Dash who was now stronger and faster than she was. Gilda was barely dodging most of Dash’s attacks because she knew how her former friend fought. The griffon counted herself lucky that Zinyak didn’t improve her thinking.

While Gilda was struggling, Pinkamena noticed what was going on and called Vinyl for assistance. “Vinyl, Gilda’s going up against a powered up Rainbow Dash. Can you even the playing field for her?”

“I’m trying but Zinyak isn’t making this easy.”

Gilda knew she was at a disadvantage against Rainbow, but there was one weakness that she could still exploit: she was predictable.

As Rainbow Dash charged forward to slam both hooves into the griffon, Gilda shifted her position slightly and grabbed her left wing before raking the left side of her face with her free talon. While Dash was still in motion, Gilda used that momentum to yank her wing and rip it off.

Dash crashed into a skyscraper while the area of her missing wing was bleeding.

Gilda took advantage of Dash’s stunned state to slash into the mare’s digital flesh but the pegasus recovered quickly and pulled off the wall in time before Gilda’s attack struck. However, without her other wing, she couldn’t stay in the air. While she couldn’t fly anymore, she could still glide with her powers.

Gilda took advantage of the mare’s gliding by intercepting her and slamming a fist into Dash’s back which sent her plummeting toward the street.

While landing in the street didn’t hurt Dash, Gilda quickly flew into a nosedive and fired her SMGs at her. The hail of bullets mostly missed the prismatic mare, but a few managed to hit her. Wounded, Dash attempted to sprint away. Gilda saw this coming and aimed a rocket ahead of Dash’s path and like the predictable mare she was, Rainbow ran into the impact point.

Now wounded and badly burnt, Rainbow Dash could barely move as Gilda landed next to her. The griffon placed a talon on Dash’s body before she smirked. “I’ll take those,” she said.

That was when Gilda took the powers bestowed upon Rainbow Dash. This transfer also altered Gilda’s appearance as she now wore what she remembered as the ancient armor of her clan. The barding was obsidian colored with an outline matching the purple on Gilda’s crest and around her eyes. Around her face but without covering her eyes was a long purple scarf with Griffish runes sewn into the fabric.

As Rainbow Dash lay dying, she gave one last glare to the empowered griffon. “Zinyak will win...in the end,” she croaked weakly.

Gilda ended things by pointing an SMG at Dash’s face and fired, ending the digital pegasus.

Her hunt concluded and her inner turmoil cleansed, Gilda returned with Pinkamena back to the ship.

Kinzie and Matt worked hard to locate the simulations of their remaining friends. With the Steelport simulation over halfway hacked, finding the other simulations was proving easier.

It wasn’t long until she located two more prisons. One belonged to Benjamin King and the other belonged to Octavia. With no sign of Moondancer yet, Kinzie sighed as she paused her search to focus on rescuing the musical assassin and the President’s Chief of Staff.

With the proper cyphers ready, Playa, Johnny, Pinkamena and Vinyl, who was very insistent on coming along, met at The Broken Shillelagh for the next breakout. CID opened the gateways.

Kinzie mentioned that King’s simulation involved a version of Stilwater from before the Saints while Johnny was eager to go back to his old stomping grounds.

Pinkamena and Vinyl headed into their gateway to save Vinyl’s marefriend.

Pinkamena and Vinyl arrived in Canterlot. While the streets seemed normal as well as everything else, there was one major difference.

There were wanted posters for Octavia all over the place.

Pinkamena tore one poster off to look at it. The crimes listed for their friend listed as treason, theft of government property, resisting arrest, and murder. The surprising thing about the poster though was that the one who wrote it wanted Octavia killed on sight. Normally, Princess Celestia would never allow such a demand but this was still one of Zinyak’s simulations so there was no surprise there.

Vinyl bit her lip in worry as she became increasingly concerned for Octavia.

Two pegasi guards landed near the two mares and demanded to know why they tore down a wanted poster.

Pinkamena put on a cheerful smile as she approached the two guards who became wary of the mare. “Hi, I’m Pinkamena and I’m a serial killer. Time for me to get to work.”

The two guards were thrown for a loop from what the madmare just said but that didn’t stop her from slashing the throats of the two guards. Pinkamena was sprayed with blood before the two guards collapsed.

Vinyl looked at the scene with curiosity. “Huh, I would have thought their enchanted armor would have given them some protection from your attack.”

“Zinyak still has no idea how Equestrian magic works so programming that into his simulations is still not possible at this time.”

“Huh, sucks for him. Anyway, let’s find Tavi.”

Meanwhile…

The Saints were watching Playa’s and Johnny’s and King’s fight in King’s simulation and saw that Anthony was fighting the three of them. That was when Kinzie had a cruel idea.

“I know this is going to seem cruel of me, but I think Anthony deserves an instant replay.”

After a few more minutes of fighting, Anthony stopped and screamed at a high pitch as a knife was embedded into his groin. He keeled over grasping his mutilated genitalia, revealing a pink pony with a wide cheshire smile. The mare immediately disappeared.

“So that’s how it happened,” the three men in the simulation said in unison.

King added, “I could have gone my whole life without knowing how Tony went down. Now that I have, I can’t blame Tanya for being scared of her.”

After half an hour of searching Canterlot for clues on Octavia’s whereabouts, Pinkamena and Vinyl found their lead when a number of guards converged at a location. The two ran toward the commotion.

As they were hoping to find, The two mares spotted Octavia fighting for her life against a number of guards that were trying to kill her.

With no time to spare, Pinkamena pulled out her Singularity Gun and Vinyl her Dubstep Gun.

The guards were pulled into a black hole before a blast of dubstep music shredded them from the inside out.

Octavia looked ragged from her encounter and was breathing heavily. She eyed the duo with wariness and prepared to attack her would be saviors.

Pinkamena noticed this and put away her weapon before waving her hooves disarmingly. “Hang on Tavi, it’s me and Vinyl. You watched me cut Killbane in two with a chainsaw, remember?”

Octavia flinched for a moment as her memories came back to her. “Oh yes, I remember now. My apologies, but I have lost count on how many times I have been killed by guards sent by that treacherous agent, Snake Eye. He sometimes sent copies of both of you against me as well.”

“Well, you have two choices: we get back to the portal and get you out of this nightmare, or we go kill Snake Eye then we get you out of here.”

Octavia chuckled, “I would prefer the second option.”

“Fun way it is. Hey Matt, where’s the pony leading the hunt?”

“You mean the pony whose name sounds like a G.I. Joe character? He appears to be nearby. In fact, he appears to be approaching your position.”

“Perfect, we’ll be out in a few minutes.”

It was then that chuckling of a male voice was heard nearby. “Well well, what do we have…”

The stallion was interrupted when a smiling madmare suddenly appeared in his face which was the last thing he ever saw as a knife slashed through his eyes, permanently blinding him. Before he could appreciate his situation, the knife passed through his neck and was decapitated.

“There, I cut the head off the snake and avoided a boring monologue.”

Pinkamena offered the stallion’s head to Octavia who politely declined. While she would have liked to have ended his life herself, she had better things to do than fret over one treacherous stallion.

Satisfied with the outcome, Octavia left the simulation with Pinkamena and Vinyl.

Loyalty: Dynamic Duet

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With all but one of her friends rescued from Zinyak’s maddening simulations, Pinkamena was glad that the group was nearly back together. Only Moondancer remained in Zinyak’s clutches and the madmare had a feeling that she was going to be difficult to break out. Pinkamena had a feeling that Zinyak knew that Moondancer would be capable of breaking others out of his simulations.

Octavia was saddened by the news that the Earth was gone and was soon ready to get into the fight. A part of her was feeling regretful that she never took up Asha’s offer of joining MI6 if only to relive the days of assassinating targets or bringing dangerous criminals to justice among other duties.

Octavia ended up expressing her sadness through her cello that Pinkamena pulled out of her mane. The more culturally inclined Saints as well as the other Equestrians empathized with the mare while the less cultured people, like Playa called it noise. Though he kept his thoughts to himself as he had a feeling that any complaint from him about the music would not end well for him.

While the music was enthralling, things still needed to be done and Zinyak wasn’t taking a break anytime soon. Kinzie had yet another series of stores to hack. The ex-FBI assured everyone that she only had two lists left. Present Shaundi wanted to go on a date sometime with Johnny but that would have to wait until Zinyak was dead so she had her final list ready instead. Past Shaundi wanted to get something done so she had her final list ready. Pierce had another “therapy session” for Playa set up.

Present Shaundi also wanted to settle things with her other self later. More than a few Saints were curious as to how that would work out.

In the meantime, Kinzie and Matt were working hard at locating the last of their friends. Of course, “friends” might be stretching the truth a little when it came to Asha.

Vinyl agreed to handle Kinzie’s latest list while Pinkamena handled the Shaundis’ lists and Playa would follow Pierce’s advice which involved another list of tasks. Johnny wanted to go on one last rampage before he decided to kick back and relax for a while.

The four entered the simulation and the system disruptions resumed. While in the simulation, they also ended up being attacked periodically by people from the gangs that the Saints once ended.

Vinyl began hacking the stores in the central and northern Downtown district. Upon hacking the first of the stores, Vinyl discovered that the difficulty had been bumped up a little as the five by five grid had turned into a six by six grid. The DJ grinned, eager to take on the new challenge before her.

Vinyl’s puzzle solving skills never failed her as she successfully hacked the five stores on the list. The virus injection was also foal’s play for her. While some part of her wanted to go easy on them, she wasn’t about to give Zinyak a chance against her, not after what he did to her.

Pinkie handled most of Present Shaundi’s list since they mostly involved non-combat related matters. First, she demonstrated her jumping skills once again when she helped stabilize a rift by stepping on platforms. After that, Pinkie discovered how to jump even better and glide so well that she was almost flying.

Next, she hijacked another coded vehicle from the Zin and delivered it for download by Kinzie.

Finally, she climbed the tower in the Rosen Oaks neighborhood, collecting every cluster along the way.

Pinkamena took over and wiped out a Zin patrol in The Grove which earned her the ire of another Warden. With her growing arsenal of powers, the Wardens were becoming less challenging to the madmare.

Pinkie and Pinkamena evenly split Past Shaundi’s list. Pinkie experienced the difficulty of a six by six hacking puzzle and had the opportunity to hijack another car while Pinkamena got into another brawl while a virus was being uploaded and she took out another Zin patrol in Yearwood which angered yet another Warden.

Pinkamena knew that the two Shaundis would think alike but she never expected there to be so many similarities between the two lists.

Regardless, the lists made by the high and not high Shaundis were finally complete. She and Vinyl returned to the ship to wait for Playa and Johnny.

The Ponies and Saints soon returned to the ship while they went over what they did.

Playa had to get some assistance from Johnny to carjack another encoded vehicle. Next, he climbed the last tower in the simulation, making sure to collect all of the data clusters so Pinkamena wouldn’t shame him again. He cleared out a Zin patrol in Burns Hill and he helped defend an area in Sunset Park while another virus was uploaded.

Johnny had some more violent fun while in the simulation. First, he helped with another virus injection, then cleared out more Zin troops in Burns Hill, then tore through Loren Square with a mech suit again, then he had the pleasure of personally ripping the life out of an old enemy of theirs. Maero never stood a chance.

Most of the rewards were okay or useless, except being able to shrink enemies by stomping. Pinkamena was eager to try that ability out.

Several important objectives turned up after the Saints rested. Ben was working on his plan for Zinyak while Kinzie, Matt and Vinyl were working on locating the remaining Saints. Everyone else was on standby until the others were found.

It wasn’t long before the hackers made their announcements that they had found Asha and Moondancer.

The MI6 agent appeared to be trapped in what appeared to be an underground facility while the agent was acting out an imitation of a certain video game series except that the villain always wins.

Moondancer appeared to be in a simulated Canterlot but that appeared to be only a tiny part of the simulation as the bulk of it appeared to be in her house. The only thing the Saints could guess was that Moondancer’s house had been warped somehow.

More bad news was that the simulated Veteran Child had somehow escaped Shaundi’s prison simulation and was now running amok in the Steelport simulation. Shaundi wanted the little stain removed from her life once and for all. Given the experience they had in the past with the DJ, Shaundi requested for Treehugger to help her out.

For the operation for rescuing Asha, before Playa could say anything, Octavia volunteered for the operation. While there were concerns about her going in there without powers, the musical assassin assured them that she would be alright without them. Of course, Vinyl would be ready to back her up just in case.

Pinkamena was going to personally rescue Moondancer. She had a feeling that the operation might be a little challenging for her, but she had everything she needed to mount the rescue.

It took a lot of work to build the cypher for Moondancer’s prison, but the three hackers worked together to get one made.

With the plan made, Pinkamena, Octavia, Treehugger and Shaundi boarded their platforms and entered the simulation where two of them headed for the Broken Shillelagh with CID and the other two began their search for Veteran Child.

Pinkamena and Octavia had their respective cyphers ready before CID sent the two of them into the remaining two prison simulations.

Before the two began their search for Veteran Child, Shaundi briefed Treehugger on the situation. “Veteran Child is getting ready to give a DJ concert in the park. I suspect he’s still nursing his wounded pride after getting curb stomped by Vinyl. The last thing I want is him setting up shop and coming after me again. Which is why...HEY!”

That was when Shaundi’s briefing was taken over by Past Shaundi who had just shown up. “Chill, this’ll just take a sec...Which is why we need to score something to boost us up for killing that douchebag. I know you’re powerful Huggs, but we’re not leaving it all to you. There’s drug deals going down around the city. We crash in, wipe out any resistance, and party with whatever they got. Trust me, this alien shit should give us an edge.”

“Why should we listen to you, you burnout? How are drugs going to give us an edge over Veteran Child?” Present Shaundi argued.

“God you’re uptight, this is an alien-created drug. Supposed to enhance your abilities on top of giving you a really wicked buzz.”

“Right, just like you thought Loa Dust was gonna make you clairvoyant and invincible.”

“It worked for Treehugger.”

“You can’t use her as an example, she’s an alien Pony. For all we know Loa Dust probably affects her differently than us.”

While Treehugger wanted to stop the pointless fighting between the two Shaundis, Zarinette wanted to see the fight continue so she had the voodoo mare watch.

However, time was passing and Veteran Child needed to be dealt with. “Alright you two, we’re getting the drugs first then going after Veteran Child.”

“What?” Present Shaundi protested. “Why do we need…”

Present Shaundi’s sentence never finished as terror filled her being when she saw Treehugger’s blazing eyes.

Nothing more was said before the three headed to the nearest drug dealer.

Octavia entered the bar which still looked like a bar despite being inside Asha’s prison. While exploring, she found a mirror and saw that she was wearing the same outfit that she wore when the Saints assassinated Cyrus Temple.

Octavia’s eyes widened when she saw two ponies locked in a struggle. One was a hunter green Earth Pony mare with her black mane tied back and the other concealed their features in an orange jumpsuit and black gear that said Ultor.

The mare disarmed the other pony and slammed their head on a pool table. “Where is she?” she growled.

“The mistress will skin you alive and take you apart piece by piece, just like always,” the pony responded.

“Wrong answer.” The mare then pulled out her gun and shot him in the head that wasn’t protected by their helmet.

After the scene, Octavia approached the mare, confused by her appearance, but she recognized Asha’s voice. “It has been a long time,” she greeted. “Why are you a pony?”

“To be frank, I’m unable to figure out why either. It may have to do with my targets being ponies.”

Octavia blinked. “My apologies for my lack of information, but why are ponies part of your nightmare scenario?”

Asha sighed, “It’s not ponies that I fear, it’s my fear of failing at my job.”

It didn’t take long for Octavia to put the pieces together with that crucial bit of information. “I see, you are trapped in a scenario where you are doomed to fail until you actually succeed.”

“That about sums it up.”

“Well, since I am here to break you out, perhaps you would like a partner for your next attempt.”

The bartender pulled out a knife and leaped for the two mares before Octavia punched him in the gut, forcing the bartender to drop his knife, then she grabbed him and threw him into the nearby jukebox, smashing it.

A hidden switch was triggered and the pool table moved aside before the floor that was under the table opened up and became a set of stairs leading downward.

“Aces,” Asha commented.

The two mares silently walked down the stairs.

Pinkamena appeared in Canterlot, just like the last time she rescued one of her friends.

Unfortunately, she never learned where Moondancer’s house was.

“Hey Vinyl, do you know where Moondancer’s house is?”

“Maybe, I heard she had three classmates who considered themselves her friends. One’s a light blue unicorn mare with an indigo and light gray mane and tail with an hourglass cutie mark named Minuette. Another is a bright yellow unicorn mare with a curly aqua mane and tail with a cutie mark of three hearts named Lemon Hearts. The third is a white unicorn mare with a curly pink mane and tail with a cutie mark of three stars named Twinkleshine. There was also Lyra but I can’t give you any guarantees that she’s in this simulation.”

“Well, there’s only one way to find out.” Pinkamena filled her lungs with as much air as they could contain before screaming at the top of her lungs, “WHO WANTS TO LEARN ABOUT HUMANS?”

In an instant, Pinkamena heard a teleportation sound behind her. She turned around and saw the familiar aquamarine unicorn mare with aquamarine and light gray mane and tail with a lyre for a cutie mark. The mare had a wide smile on her face that told the madmare that she was very eager to learn about the subject she just screamed about.

“How about a deal, you lead me to Moondancer’s house and I’ll give you my notes on humans.”

Lyra nodded in agreement and raced off toward Moondancer’s house with Pinkamena not far behind.

It wasn’t long before the two were in front of the house. The still smiling Lyra extended a hoof, waiting for her payment. Pinkamena pulled a stack of papers out of her mane that contained her notes on the humans and gave them to the overly excited mare. She squealed as she hugged the stack of papers tightly before she raced off.

After the unicorn finally disappeared, Pinkamena turned to the door to her marefriend’s house. She tried to open it, but the door was locked. She tried knocking on it, but nopony would answer. This left her with the Pie answer to try. She grabbed the knob of the door and ripped the door off its hinges. A wall of white light stood in the place of where the ruined door once was.

Pinkamena looked at the door for a moment and shrugged before walking into the light.

Treehugger and the two Shaundis located one of the drug vendors that took the form of Sons of Samedi dealers and proceeded to shoot or dismember with a spectral machete the vendor and his bodyguards. Treehugger couldn’t burn the group without risking torching the product.

Once the substance was looted, the two Shaundis smoked their share of the substance through a broken light bulb. Treehugger sniffed the substance and found that it lacked the potency that should have been expected.

When neither Shaundi felt anything, Past Shaundi complained, “Dammit, they were selling some cheap knock-off.”

“Or maybe it doesn’t do anything like I said,” Present Shaundi countered.

“Hey, I’m the expert here, remember? Trust me, this wasn’t what we’re after. Besides, my source tells me that the next guy should have the right product.”

“Then why’d we hit that last one at all?”

“What’s wrong with wanting more?”

“I hate myself…”

“To be fair, the last guy wasn’t worth the effort. Killing those guys for what amounted to dust bunnies seemed like a waste of effort,” Treehugger commented.

“Thank you,” Present Shaundi sighed in relief.

The Present Shaundi drove Past Shaundi and Treehugger to the next location. Treehugger took the time to practice her self control over her fire abilities to avoid setting the car on fire.

The next deal was near the digital sea. The dealers started shooting at the trio with alien rifles.

Treehugger smelled the substance on one of them so she spared that person and threw a giant fireball at the rest, turning them to ash. The last guy was eliminated by Present Shaundi.

The three looted the last guy’s body and split the substance between the three of them. They lit the substance and inhaled the fumes deeply. Past Shaundi was surprised that nothing was happening while Present Shaundi was now demanding that they go after Veteran Child.

A moment later, the drugs kicked in. The rush of power the trio felt was amazing. While Treehugger didn’t feel it as well as the other two did because she already had her powers, the Shaundis soon found that they had powers now. However, only Present Shaundi’s appearance changed.

Present Shaundi rode the feeling and complemented Past Shaundi for her good idea while Past Shaundi was glad that her other self had finally mellowed out.

It was then that the two Shaundis started getting competitive with each other and challenged the other to a race through the neighborhood. Treehugger decided to let the two get their rush out of their systems. The voodoo mare followed the two superpowered racers from the air using her spectral wings.

Treehugger suddenly remembered what her friend Fluttershy once said about two of her friends and how competitive they were. The two Shaundis suddenly reminded her of her friend’s descriptions of Rainbow Dash and Applejack, with Past Shaundi as Rainbow and Present Shaundi as Applejack.

The competing duo soon stopped atop a roof and started flinging Blasts at each other only for both to get knocked down by each other.

Treehugger landed between the two and waited for the two of them to start getting up. “Are you two done yet?” she asked.

“Yeah, but that was amazing,” Past Shaundi said.

“For once, I agree with you,” Present Shaundi said.

Thankfully, there was something productive done during their race, because Veteran Child’s concert could be seen below in a nearby parking lot. “We’re here you two, let’s get some closure on your old relationship.”

With that, the trio glided off the building and into the parking lot.

“So our target is a more evil version of my leader?” Octavia asked.

“Yes, despite my best attempts to kill her, she always seems to anticipate my every move,” Asha answered. “She knows that I’ll always try to kill her and I always get caught somehow which ends up with me being tortured to death in many creative ways. If you have any insight on how we can eliminate her, it would be greatly appreciated.”

Octavia nodded, “We are dealing with somepony who defies all logic. We need to treat this scenario as if we are narrating our own story directly to her. This means that we cannot so much as think of our plans for risk of her knowing what it is. To fight on her level, we have to see the world as she does and not let logic define our actions.”

“‘Not let logic define our actions?’ Are you mad?”

“Do you have any better ideas?”

“Well yes, as a matter of fact I--”

“Then forget it, anything you plan is doomed to fail. It is the purpose of this simulation. I need you to trust me absolutely and not question my words or actions if you want to see the real world again. Is that understood?”

“You’re asking for me to blindly put my faith in you?”

“Indeed. It is the only way.”

Asha bit her lip. The musical mare was asking a monumental task of her. She had never trusted anyone to the degree that Octavia was demanding. It was then that she realized that this request would be the hardest thing she had ever done. She scrunched her face as she mentally struggled with her own nature. It took all of her considerable willpower, but she managed to win her mental battle in the end.

“Alright, so what must we do?” Asha asked.

“Simple, we casually trot our way into her lair,” Octavia casually responded.

Asha couldn’t believe what she was suggesting, but she did agree to follow the mare blindly. If they both got killed on the way, she would hold the failure over her partner’s head for a long time.

However, much to her surprise, as she was walking alongside Octavia, the guards didn’t pay attention to them. She couldn’t help but question how this was possible. They didn’t have to use air ducts or shoot out lights or any conventional surprise tactic. Asha did her best to keep her wits about her and not question how Octavia’s plan was working.

When the duo reached a laser grid, Asha looked at her partner to see if she had a plan for getting past the deadly lasers.

Once again to Asha’s surprise, Octavia casually trotted into and through the lasers and emerged on the other side unharmed. The agent followed soon after.

As they neared Evil(er) Pinkamena’s lair, Asha commented, “Be ready, Pinkamena could be hiding anywhere.”

That was when they heard giggling on a large video screen. “Silly Asha, you know that’s not my style.” The camera then shifted to reveal Matt Miller strapped to a table with his torso cut wide open to reveal that his organs had been removed except for his heart.

“Asha…” Matt groaned weakly.

Evil(er) Pinkamena giggled again, “Silly Matt, I always knew you had feelings for Asha, that you wanted to give your heart to her.” She then ripped Matt’s heart from his chest cavity, ending the man’s life. “So come and get it Asha, take the heart that he was so desperate to give you.” The giggling soon turned maniacal before the video ended.

“Just about what I expected,” Octavia commented.

“Come, we’re almost there,” Asha said while doing her best to get the image of Matt out of her mind.

Pinkamena walked into a sweltering desert. The moment she emerged from the doorway, the heat started bearing down on her. She was not built to endure the heat for long so she had to find where Moondancer was quickly.

Looking around, she saw a town surrounded by a pyramid in the distance. The madmare was sure that Moondancer was there somewhere, most likely inside the pyramid.

Pinkamena was not going to travel to the town on hoof if she could help it so she triggered a scene transition where she appeared in the town.

Thankfully, she spotted a pony carrying a water bottle nearby so she ran up to the pony and asked for some water. The pony gave an evil smirk and started opening the bottle and tried to spill it onto the sands.

Pinkamena saw what they were trying and rushed in to stab the pony in the barrel with her Vorpal Blade before she took the bottle. “Look where being mean got you,” she remarked. She then placed the open bottle to her lips and drank the cold contents of the bottle.

Refreshed, Pinkamena climbed the stairs to the pyramid entrance. After forcing the doors open, she walked in and was greeted with a rush of cool air.

Seeing the tomb interior, Pinkamena had a feeling that she was about to be like Daring Do so she put on a pith helmet and a green jacket and began navigating the labyrinth of the pyramid.

Pinkamena and Pinkie worked together to deal with the tomb defenses and the defenders as they solved puzzles, navigated mazes, killed the occasional gimp ponies and dodged the occasional traps as she fought her way to the center of the tomb where Moondancer was located.

For some reason, as she journeyed through the tomb, she had a strange urge to wear some form of costume and a mask, expecting some sort of being from mythology to appear whenever she pulled the hypothetical mask off.

It felt like hours though she couldn’t tell the time in the tomb, but the madmare finally reached the door that led into the heart of the pyramid. Forcing open the door, she walked inside.

Veteran Child immediately took notice of the trio as they landed in the parking lot. With his guests on the scene, it was time to get the party started. “Looks like we have some special guests trying to crash our fun! Wait, I remember you. You’re the pony that burned me alive! Let’s see how you like it!”

With that, the animal mascots attending the party were suddenly equipped with flamethrowers before they closed in on Treehugger and began hosing her down with flames while the Shaundis moved out of the way..

Treehugger deadpanned as she felt nothing from the blazing weapons. Her immunity to fire made the mascots’ attacks futile. “You’d think that you would do your homework on me after what happened. I’m usually a drug-loving burnout and even I feel disappointed in you.”

The two Shaundi’s knew what was coming next so both leapt into the air before the voodoo mare stomped her hoof and unleashed a burning shockwave that immolated all of the mascots.

“There’s still plenty of me to go around!” Veteran Child said as multiple copies of himself appeared.

Treehugger shook her head in disappointment before she used her Super Sprint and her fire magic to run in a circle before a flaming vortex took form.

The vortex pulled in the copies and incinerated them. With each clone roasted, the shield around the DJ weakened.

When the last clone was destroyed, the shield was broken.

Veteran Child created one last clone to make a desperate move. The two Shaundis appeared next to the two DJs as they grabbed the two women to use as hostages. “Who lives and who dies?”

Both Shaundi’s snapped as they both broke free at the same time and pulled out their pistols.

“Fuck,” Past Shaundi began.

“That,” Present Shaundi finished.

Both Shaundis shot each other’s captors.

After that, the two Shaundis were finally getting along.

Treehugger was glad that the ordeal was over because she was not a good foalsitter and that was how she felt when she was helping the two Shaundis with their issues.

“Look who finally joined the party, my favorite playmate and a cellist who thinks she knows how to counter my logic,” greeted Evil(er) Pinkamena. “I guess being around Vinyl helps you see simple solutions to complicated problems.”

“Not really,” Octavia smirked. “It helps more to study potential threats and figure out how to counter them. I have learned that in order to defeat somepony who breaks the fourth wall, one must know about the fourth wall and how to use that to their advantage. Which is why the bullet I fired not long ago is about to hit you.”

“Say what?”

That was when a bullet sailed into the room and hit Pinkamena in the left foreleg. The evil mare grunted as pain surged through her. Evil(er) Pinkamena tightly gripped her bleeding leg before she growled, “How?”

“The key to stopping a fourth wall breaker is to attack in a way that is not known to the readers until the attack is about to hit the breaker. That way they do not have time to react.”

“Heh, well played. No wonder the real me considers you her second in command. Guess I’ll have to use them after all.”

Octavia nodded to Asha before she curled into a ball. The agent bucked the musical mare up onto the upper platform where Pinkamena was.

As the evil mare activated the generators to heal herself, Octavia intercepted the charge. Instead of healing or zapping her however, something else happened.

Power coursed through Octavia’s entire being while Vinyl hacked into the simulation and altered the nature of the generators.

Evil(er) Pinkamena’s eyes widened as the generators exploded. Octavia’s appearance changed as well. She was now wearing a white tuxedo over her barrel. Her light purple bowtie was still part of her ensemble.

Before Evil(er) Pinkamena could recover from her reaction, Octavia hit her with a Blast that didn’t appear to do anything. However, Octavia was now moving at blinding speeds while firing bullets at her from all directions. The bullets themselves were moving faster than they should have been.

Evil(er) Pinkamena didn’t have time to appreciate Octavia’s new power before she succumbed to her wounds and fell off the platform.

Asha watched the entire battle unfold. While Pinkamena thought Octavia was moving really fast, it was actually the other way around. Octavia was moving normally while Pinkamena was slowed.

“How did you do that?” Asha asked.

“Most likely a result of the superpowers that my friends have been receiving recently. At least three or four of the Saints are now utilizing these abilities in the simulation as well. Though they appear to add a unique element to my friends.”

“I see. More importantly, how did you know how to counter Pinkamena?”

“Any good agent knows when to study up on a potential threat, even if that threat may come from one’s friends or allies. Should one of my friends become a threat, I must be prepared to counter them. Though I hope that day will never come.”

“A good philosophy, ‘be prepared to fight the war you hope to never fight’. To some, it seems like paranoia, to others, an insurance policy.”

Octavia smiled, “Thank you.”

“My pleasure, now let’s get out of here.”

“Care for your own contribution?” Octavia gestured to Pinkamena’s corpse.

“Yes, please.” Asha put a bullet into the dead mare’s head.

Pinkamena entered the final chamber and scanned the area for any final obstacles that stood between her and Moondancer.

The mare in question was chained to an altar in the center of the room and unconscious.

The setup screamed trap to the madmare, but whatever else was in the chamber was lurking in the shadows until she sprang the trap.

With no other choice, Pinkamena carefully walked into the chamber while keeping an eye out for traps while Pinkie watched the floor for any suspicious switches.

As she neared the altar, a gust of wind blew and nearly knocked the mare off her hooves. Looking at where the wind came from, Pinkamena quickly backed away as a giant sphinx rushed out of the shadows and landed between Pinkamena and Moondancer.

The madmare was not surprised by the appearance of the sphinx. Her fur was purple and her mane was navy blue with a pink and purple stripe. The style was the same as Twilight’s. Overall, the sphinx looked like a giant Twilight Sparkle with feline features and wings.

“So, is my marefriend free to go or is this the part where I take your wings for a test run?” Pinkamena quipped.

“She is not going anywhere. This tomb was built for her eternal stay in life and in the afterlife. Only eternal solitude awaits her,” the sphinx replied.

“Oh goodie!” Pinkamena clopped her hooves. “I get to kill a sphinx! This’ll be a first for me.”

“You will find that I am not so easy an opponent.” The sphinx spread her wings and flew upwards, smashing through the ceiling of the tomb. The creature roared, unleashing a blast of power that tore the rest of the ceiling apart and left the chamber fully exposed to the sunlight.

“You wanna play boss fight? That’s fine with me,” Pinkamena challenged.

While the sphinx was recovering from her previous attack, Pinkamena raced for the altar and quickly destroyed the chains binding Moondancer.

The effects were immediate as the mare woke from her slumber, “Mmph...mmm...hu...huh?” Moondancer in her groggy state saw a pink blurry image that gradually came into focus. “Pinkamena?”

“Welcome to the waking world...well, sort of. Hurry and wake up and help me ground this Twilight lookalike.”

The beast was ready to attack again. She attacked Pinkamena by swiping a giant paw across the floor. The madmare jumped over the swipe and landed on the paw long enough for her to stab it with her Vorpal Blade.

The sphinx roared in pain but the madmare knew that the attack only amounted to a snake bite at best. Pinkamena’s stamina wasn’t going to last forever and she needed to do some superficial damage to the beast before she got tired.

The Twilight sphinx screeched at Pinkamena and forced the mare to place her hooves on her ears to muffle the sound a little. The sound was still painful.

Moondancer was fully awake now after that attack. Her ears were hurting from the sound. Once she regained her hearing after the ringing ceased, she asked about the situation, “Pinkamena, where are we? How did we get here?”

“We’re in a digital simulation that was designed to keep you imprisoned. This creature appears to be your jailer.”

“Wait, did you say digital?”

“Yes, think you can do something with it?”

“Let me see.” Moondancer lit her horn and the distant sun was eclipsed, engulfing the desert in darkness. The eclipse ended quickly as Moondancer undid her action. “Yeah, I think I can take this thing down.” She then had an idea, “Or maybe…”

Moondancer lit her horn again and Pinkamena grew to equal the sphinx in size. “Thanks Moonie,” Pinkamena said cheerfully.

Pinkamena began fighting the sphinx on equal terms. However, the sphinx’s wings still gave her an edge on Pinkamena. To counter this, Moondancer created a set of ballistae and aimed them at Pinkamena.

As the sphinx attempted a dive attack on the madmare, Pinkamena’s Pinkie Sense went off and she dove aside just in time for the ballistae to fire and hit the sphinx who flew into the attack. The bolts had ropes tied to them so the weapons pinned the beast to the ground. Pinkamena capitalized on that and grabbed the beast’s wings before using her Vorpal Blade to slice them off. The sphinx screeched in pain for a second before the madmare plunged the knife into her neck. “That’s enough screeching for you,” she said.

With the sphinx dead, Pinkamena was returned to normal size. She walked over to Moondancer while holding the beast’s wings to the sides of her barrel. “What do you think? Stylish?”

Moondancer chuckled before she lit her horn and the wings’ colors were changed to match Pinkamena’s coat. “Much better.”

The two shared a laugh. Soon after, Pinkamena gave Moondancer the usual warning about what was about to happen to her and to have her attack spells ready to cause havoc once she really woke up.

Forearmed with the knowledge, Moondancer mentally prepared herself to kill a bunch of Zin before she was truly reunited with her marefriend.

Loyalty: The Digital Princess

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After Moondancer and Asha were released from their prisons, rescuing the agent went about as well as expected while the rescue of the unicorn in the real world ended on an awkward note.

As Pinkamena neared Moondancer’s location, there were a lot of laser weapons firing along with the agonized screams of Zin and what seemed like Zin screaming in panic for some reason.

The door that separated Pinkamena from Moondancer opened suddenly as three Zin started running out of the room in a panic before they were grabbed in Moondancer’s aura. “Where do you three think you’re going?” yelled Moondancer from across the door. “I’m still frustrated and you three have been drafted to be my catharsis!”

The three were pulled back into the room and the door closed. The agonized screams resumed along with the sounds of bones cracking.

Pinkamena decided to wait for a few minutes until Moondancer had calmed down.

Once the screaming stopped, Pinkamena entered the room beyond the door. Moondancer immediately caught sight of the madmare and ran toward her before the two embraced one another and shared a kiss that lasted for at least a minute, tongues dancing with one another.

Once finished, Pinkamena and Moondancer returned to the ship, with Moondancer being briefed on what happened since she had been imprisoned. While the unicorn pouted a little about being the last one to be rescued, Pinkamena defended that her prison was the most guarded between the six of them and that it took the combined efforts of Kinzie, Matt and Vinyl to get into her prison.

“I wonder if Matt’s still scared of me after what happened,” Moondancer mused.

“Dunno, the only thing Playa told me about Matt’s simulation was that it involved a lot of Kinzie typing in commands to see what worked and that the rest involved a text adventure where Matt had to fight Killbane by himself.”

“After I crushed him in cyberspace, he’s still more scared of Killbane than me? I don’t know whether to be glad he’s not scared of me or insulted that Killbane is still scarier than me.”

“Whatever, that’s in the past. For now, I’ll need your help to break into another simulation, one that neither Kinzie, Matt or Vinyl can break into.”

“Really? Who else is left? I know that the other Saints are saved and so are our friends. So who’s left?”

“I suspect that it’s my sisters.”

“Whoa, I knew Zinyak was crazy, but I didn’t think he was suicidal.”

Once back on the ship, Moondancer was greeted by her friends as the ship made another daring escape from the Zin.

With their friends rescued, the Saints focused their full attention in disrupting Zinyak’s simulation. Once Moondancer found a way into the Pie family simulation and the sisters rescued, Pinkamena would begin plotting her revenge against the alien overlord.

For now, it was time for another series of tasks from the Saints. Kinzie swore that she only had one last list of stores to hack while Pierce had one last list of fun activities for Playa. Asha also had some objectives that she wanted completed, but she wanted them to be done by Octavia. While Ben had not made any lists yet, he did mention that he was considering a sequel to his old book, ‘Regicide’.

Vinyl said that she would handle Kinzie’s store hacks so the ones going into the simulation this time would be her, Octavia and Playa. Pinkamena decided to make use of the downtime to have some fun with Moondancer.

Inside the simulation, Vinyl headed to New Colvin to help Kinzie set up her last gateway into the city while Octavia headed to Stanfield and Playa headed Downtown.

Vinyl had no problems hacking five of the remaining six stores in the simulation. She had hacked a Friendly Fire in Camano place as well as a Leather and Lace and one of the Rim Jobs. She hacked a Planet Zin in Rosen Oaks which turned into a Planet Cyber. Finally, she hacked a Rusty’s Needle in Espina.

The last store under Zinyak’s control was a second Rim Jobs in Camano place. Since it was the last store in the simulation to hack, Vinyl debated about whether or not she should hack it despite the fact that one of the other Saints likely had a plan to have it hacked later.

After some consideration and the fact that the place was nearby, Vinyl decided that she might as well go ahead and hack the store. The last puzzle offered the most difficult challenge that Zinyak had to offer but it was still no match for Vinyl’s puzzle-solving skills.

Once she was finished hacking, Vinyl headed to Western Espina and defended the place using her electricity-empowered superpowers and her special Wubstep Gun that had more features than the Dubstep Gun was capable of.

Once the virus was uploaded, Vinyl headed for the nearest gateway.

Octavia had to admit, getting into the field again had done wonders for her physique since she joined the Saints. Being back in shape had made the race that Asha had her do seem like a morning jog.

Her new time distorting powers allowed her to eliminate a Zin patrol in Ashwood trivial and while she was defending an area while Matt uploaded one of his viruses, she was able to use her telekinetic powers like a cannon, though given the speed the objects or enemies were thrown it was more like a railgun.

Her last task for the first of Asha’s set involved shutting down one of the remaining Hotspots. Using her stomp, she slowed the enemies around each generator before she pulled out an assault rifle and shot each alien in the head and used her AT rifle to demolish the shield generator.

Once the generators were destroyed, Octavia pointed her AT rifle at the main controller for the large maintenance device and blew it up from far away, deactivating the device.

With her mission accomplished, Octavia headed back to the ship.

While Playa was getting back from his list of tasks from Pierce, the Saint not looking too happy that he was asked to play in traffic again, Asha gave Octavia a new weapon for her troubles. The agent found it while she was exploring the Zin mothership before the Saints picked her up. The weapon was a handle that projected an energy-based sword. Octavia happily accepted the gift.

Pinkamena noticed that Pierce was looking guilty. When she asked Kinzie, the hacker explained that Pierce was making Playa do his chores under the guise of relaxation therapy. The latest tasks that Pierce was supposed to do involved another Zin patrol, killing a rogue program that looked like a sex doll, playing in traffic and destroying things in Rosen Oaks using orbs held in his telekinesis. Pierce couldn’t do that last part but Kinzie wanted him to try anyway for her amusement.

Playa overheard what was said and when he returned to the ship, he glowered at Pierce, “Pierce...I’m gonna kill you later.” Playa headed to the cargo bay to cool off.

“Hey guys, you might want to see this,” Kinzie said with a hint of nervousness.

The Saints and Ponies within earshot approached the hacker to see what she found. What they saw was met with a mix of surprise and nostalgia as Steelport was being flooded with nine different gangs: Vice Kings, Los Carnales, Westside Rollerz, Ronin, Brotherhood, Sons of Samedi, Morningstar, Deckers, and Luchadores.

Johnny was the first to comment, “Please tell me they’re all pissed and lookin’ for a fight. ‘Cuz it looks like Zinyak delivered my Christmas present early.”

Seeing all the gangs around gave Pierce an idea. “Before we resolve this, there’s something I wanna do with the Boss. I wanna bring Gilda too for this.”

Pinkamena looked at the Saints promotional agent with a bit of suspicion. “Why do you need Gilda?” she asked warily.

“I need her for an idea that involves the Brotherhood. Plus, I get to spend some bro time with the Boss.”

“Fine, go ask her if she wants to come with you. For now, I need to help the others find a way to breach my sisters’ prison.”

“I might have an idea,” Moondancer declared. “I think I can link our consciousness to one of these devices so that we can access the simulation together from one device, leaving the others free to access the simulation from the other devices. Inside the simulation, unlocking the prison isn’t going to be easy. I need memories of the subject or subjects to use as a focus and a massive amount of data to construct a cypher powerful enough to breach the quarry simulation.”

“The memories shouldn’t be a problem since me and Pinkie have plenty of those.” Pinkamena put a hoof to her chin. “If we lured the clones flooding the simulation to you, would that work?”

“That’s going to be dangerous. I won’t be able to defend myself while constructing the cypher. I need you near me the whole time while I do so because of the focus. However, while the large number of clones will help with the main construction, if the source of the clones were to be found and marked, I can directly siphon from the source and not only get the cypher built faster, but I can also cut off the flow of clones into the simulation.”

“Sounds like a plan. Here’s what we’re going to do, Since Pierce seems insistent on his bro time with Playa, those two will be watched by Gilda while they have their fun. Meanwhile, me and Johnny are going to head to The Broken Shillelagh with Moondancer to play King of the Hill with the clone army while Vinyl, Treehugger and Octavia are going to work with CID to locate the source and mark it. Once we have the cypher made, destroy the source.”

“You always know which parts of your plans I like,” Johnny commented.

With their plan made, Moondancer placed herself inside the chair while the other Equestrians gathered around her and made themselves as comfortable as possible. The unicorn lit her horn and linked their subconscious with hers. Playa, Pierce and Johnny took their positions in the other chairs.

Inside the simulation once more, Gilda took to the skies and followed Playa and Pierce to the docks where Pierce wanted to disrupt a Brotherhood operation.

The griffon watched the two drive a car to the docks while she had to listen to the two sing ‘Opposites Attract’ along the way.

At the docks, Playa used his Telekinesis to smash trucks into other trucks or hurl them into the digital sea.

After that, they drove to the nuclear plant which gave Gilda the impression that Pierce wanted to reenact the whole Brotherhood campaign for some reason. While Pierce was being secretive about who they were going against, Gilda was still smart enough to know that Maero was going to be at the end of their little tour.

On the way to the plant, the duo started to sing along to ‘Just a Friend’ until Zinyak started singing to it which led to the duo complaining that Zinyak had ruined Biz Markie for them.

At the plant, after killing some Brotherhood clones, the duo searched the crates and found some toxic waste.

With the waste in hand, Playa and Pierce tailed a Brotherhood vehicle to the airport where Maero was. Gilda had a feeling that Pierce wanted to see a reenactment of the Brotherhood leader’s death as well so she waited for the Saint to spot her prey.

“There he is!” Pierce pointed out. The duo started shooting up Maero’s Atlasbreaker vehicle until it blew up.

Maero emerged from the wreckage ready to crush his enemies. Gilda also noticed that he was shielded and likely had superpowers but they would be no issue for her.

“Hey Maero,” Pierce called out. “Wanna see a replay of how you died?”

“What are you…?” Maero questioned before his eyes widened and he turned his head to look upward to check for any sign of the griffon but saw nothing.

A whisper behind him sent a chill down the Brotherhood leader’s spine, “There’s a reason my clan name is Grimfeather.”

Before Maero could react, a blackened talon broke through Maero’s shield and into his back. Gilda grabbed Maero’s heart and crushed it. Maero collapsed as his body broke up into the data fragments it once was.

After Maero was destroyed, Pierce’s appearance changed to where he wore some sort of Asian fighter outfit.

“Why do you look like Kung Lao from Mortal Kombat?” Playa asked.

“Fuck if I know, but the one difference between him and me, I make it look good.”

Gilda rolled her eyes before she flew away, hoping to get some real action before the mission was over.

Johnny, Pinkamena and Moondancer arrived at the front of The Broken Shillelagh. Moondancer took her position at the front of the bar.

“Make sure to keep them off me while I work,” Moondancer instructed. “And remember, the more you kill, the more progress I make on making this key. Pinkamena, you will have to stay near me so I can access your’s and Pinkie’s memories of your sisters.”

“I take back what I said,” Johnny began. “This ain’t just Christmas, it's all my favorite holidays packed into one big battle royale.”

“I’d hold off on that Christmas part though, we still have the DLC of that to go through.”

Johnny ignored Pinkamena’s foretelling of future events in order to focus on the nine types of gang vehicles headed in their direction. Johnny knew that this day was going to be the best day ever.

CID was late for the operation. Based on what Kinzie said, the robotic orb was negotiating a deal with Kinzie on who she would date in exchange for helping the Saints with their clone problem. Kinzie flat out refused and Asha had her standards. Present Shaundi had her eyes on Johnny. CID had no interest in men but she would never get between active relationships such as Pinkamena and Moondancer or Octavia and Vinyl. CID had a feeling that Gilda would treat her like a yarn ball, so that left Treehugger and Past Shaundi.

After considering the options, CID had decided to go on a date with Past Shaundi despite the warning that the digital Saint was likely very open with sexual partners.

Of course, if CID had the option of a lasting relationship with a living being, she would consider dating Treehugger or Gilda. CID hated how her life had ended up as a metal ball.

CID’s arrival was late enough that Gilda had returned from her mission with Pierce and Playa, who had decided to provide assistance to Moondancer’s group.

Upon CID’s arrival, Octavia gave a sigh of impatience. “Miss CID, in the future, would you kindly refrain from putting your personal matters ahead of the group. Need I remind you that this group is the best chance you have of claiming your revenge on Zinyak?”

“I am aware. However, I am not as close to you or the Saints as you are to each other. Just as you don’t trust me, it is only fair that I extend the same courtesy. If you should fall to Zinyak, then I shall find another who might have better luck. I have all the time in the universe to fulfill my revenge, unlike all of you.”

The Equestrians shook their heads in disappointment and headed off to begin their search. CID picked up on this and asked, “I do not understand this reaction.”

Treehugger stopped and turned to face CID. “It’s not that we don’t trust you, it’s that we want to trust you. The problem is that you don’t trust us and you don’t want to trust us. We are putting our lives on the line to defeat Zinyak. The least you can do is to not belittle the risks we’re taking. You are our friend, and friends don’t condescend to their friends.”

After Treehugger had said her piece, CID hovered in place for a moment. What the voodoo mare said had struck the robotic sphere in a place where she thought no longer existed. She never thought that she would feel guilt again after Zinyak had destroyed her body.

However, there would be time to contemplate how much of her actual emotions still remained within her after she had completed her objective. She followed the Equestrians and began instructing them, “Now that Gilda is here, I need her to carry me up to a high vantage point so that I may scan the area. I cannot maintain a high altitude and scan at the same time because of the limitations of this form.”

Gilda did as told and flew high into the air while CID scanned the area. “Thank you, can you carry me to one more location? I believe that I have located nearly all of the relays interfering with the scans in the area.”

Gilda flew to the next area while Octavia, Vinyl and Treehugger headed to where the first relay was located. Treehugger incinerated the guards in the area while Vinyl overloaded the device with electricity, causing it to explode.

Once the group finished the relay, CID relayed the locations of more relays. The next set of relays were placed on a hovering platform. Using their Super Jump and Glide abilities, the Equestrian group jumped up to the platform. Octavia landed first and stomped, slowing the time of the Zin guards while Vinyl arced electricity between the guards and the relays. Half of the relays were blasted by Octavia’s AT rifle while a few fireballs from Treehugger destroyed the rest.

The next set of relays were protected by a shield generator on another platform. CID requested to be placed where the generator was located so that she could disable it. Meanwhile, the others dispatched the Zin guards.

“Just so you know,” CID began while she was disabling the generator. “I am risking my life as well while within this shell. If I should be destroyed, I risk having the remainder of my being erased. I would like to ask a favor of you girls, if it is not too much to ask.”

“What is it?” Treehugger asked.

“In this form, I am mostly defenseless with the exception of a low level electrical discharge. I would like to request your assistance in procuring a murderbot and deleting its programming so that I may upload myself to it. This way, I can defend myself when this C.I.D.’s functions are no longer necessary.”

“So you are asking us to trust you?” Octavia asked.

“Correct.”

“Very well.”

Kinzie chimed in to complain, “What?! We can’t just give CID a murderbot body! That’d be asking for trouble.”

“We have already decided, Kinzie. Even if you refuse to help us, Vinyl or Moondancer can handle the task as well.”

Kinzie sighed in defeat, “Fine, but I reserve the right to say ‘I told you so’ if this blows up in our faces.”

Octavia giggled, “Noted.”

After the shield generator was disabled and the relays destroyed, the Equestrians repeated the task with the final relay. However, they also encountered a new enemy, a large metallic sphere that opened to reveal a huge attack robot. The Equestrians soon discovered that their attacks weren’t getting through its armor. Once Octavia realized that, she had the others distract the attack robot while she inspected the other parts of it until she discovered a large opening behind the upper body of the machine. Using her AT rifle, Octavia hit the vulnerability and the robot exploded.

Once the last relay was destroyed, Kinzie locked on to the location of the source of the gang clones.

The group headed to the source and discovered a large metallic ring that was generating a Zin portal where the clones were coming from.

“By the way,” Kinzie began. “I’ve isolated the cause of the manifestations of the gangs, they seem to match the mnemonic mapping of the boss.”

“How is that possible?” Octavia asked.

“I’m not sure, I think Zinyak somehow copied the boss’s mnemonic profile before we were able to get him out of the simulation, but that’s merely speculation.”

Since the information was of no use to them, the Equestrians started throwing clones back into the portal while Kinzie relayed the portal’s location to Moondancer.

Johnny and Pinkamena were having the time of their lives.

So far they had killed five hundred clones each and more were coming. The burden of defense was lessened thankfully when Playa and a powered up Pierce showed up to assist in defending the unicorn.

It was only ten minutes after they arrived that Kinzie informed Moondancer of the portal’s location. Focusing on the location, Moondancer found the portal and began tugging at the near limitless energies being produced by the device. Once she had established a link, she began to siphon the portal’s power and used it to finish the key into the Pie Sisters’ prison.

A few more minutes of siphoning was all it took for Moondancer to finish the cypher before she used the remainder of the energies for herself.

The energies altered her form. She grew larger and more majestic before she gained a pair of wings. She soon resembled the alicorn form she took during that time when she defeated Matt Miller in cyberspace.

Once the transformation was complete, she turned to face the remaining clones before she used the excess energies she took from the portal to unleash a powerful stomp that deleted the remaining gang clones throughout the simulation.

Pinkamena turned to see how her marefriend was doing after that. While she seemed alright, the madmare wanted to be sure. “That was amazing! Are you alright?”

“Yeah, though I don’t think I’ll be able to do another stomp of that magnitude. I used the last of the source’s energies to delete the gangs from the simulation so I only have the powers I have gained with this form to use.”

“Still, I can’t wait to see what you can do with your new superpowers.”

“Speaking of superpowers,” Kinzie chimed in. “I’m picking up another Warden nearby and they have a new power you guys might like.”

“I feel like I’m bein’ spoiled today,” Johnny commented.

With that, Johnny, Pinkamena and Playa hunted down and destroyed the Warden to fill their empty power slots with another power. They gained the ability to temporarily place a field around themselves that harmed enemies by being near them and caused their ammunition to become infused with that power. The power was shared with everyone else.

On the way back to the gateway back to the ship, Pinkamena noticed that Pinkie was growing restless. The madmare knew better than to let her sister’s issues fester. “What’s the matter?”

“Well, I know that our friends all have their superpowers because they completed their Loyalty Missions but I think there’s one more for us to do before we see our sisters again.”

Pinkamena had a feeling that she knew what Pinkie was about to say, but she asked anyway. “Who’s Loyalty Mission do we need to do?”

“Ours.”

Loyalty: The Butcher and The Baker

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“What are you talking about, Pinkie?” Pinkamena asked. “We already have superpowers.”

After the Saints sealed off the flood of clones into the simulation as a ploy by Zinyak to stop the Saints from further defiling his once-clean simulation, Moondancer had constructed the necessary cypher needed to infiltrate the prison holding Maud, Limestone and Marble.

It was what was said after that baffled Pinkamena as Pinkie was suggesting that they had a mission that needed to be done that directly involved the two of them.

Pinkie giggled, “No silly, this isn’t about us getting superpowers, it’s about a major event in the story. Plus we get our own power specialization like the others have.”

“Alright, so what do we need to do?”

“We need the help of our friends.”

“Why do we need them?”

“Because friendship is magic.”

Pinkamena realized that she was getting nowhere talking to her sister who she suspected was being cryptic on purpose. She said nothing else as everyone returned to the ship.

There wasn’t much left to be done to the simulation before the Saints fully took control of the virtual city. Among the Saints who had tasks remaining, only Asha and Ben were left. After the incident with the clones, Ben wrote up his lists of tasks to be done that, combined with Asha’s task lists, would complete the virtual city takeover.

Ben needed some legwork done so he would have some material for his sci-fi follow-up to ‘Regicide’. Vinyl had finished one of the objectives earlier so she had to explain in words how it felt to hack a store. The DJ was inept at literature but Ben was able to get the gist of what she was trying to explain.

Asha had requested that Octavia be the one to complete her lists as she wanted to see if the former agent’s training was comparable to the standards of MI6.

Pinkamena decided to handle Ben’s list since the way she does things is seen as the best material for the writer. Ben also asked Pinkamena, or rather Pinkie, how it felt to hack stores. Pinkie stated that the hackings were like a fun little game that she could play while being able to avoid having to kill people.

Pinkamena and Octavia headed into the simulation to handle the next set of tasks that were given to each of them. Pinkamena’s first task was shutting down the final Hotspot in the simulation while Octavia headed to Burns Hill to fight off waves of attackers as another virus was uploaded.

For Octavia, dealing with groups of enemies was something that she was accustomed to during her career as an agent. She was sometimes tasked with guarding VIPs such as Daring Do from a distance. The adventurer never knew that she had a guardian angel those days.

Her next task involved using her horn to demolish a neighborhood. She was still not used to having a horn given that she was an Earth Pony, but the horn came with her powers so she figured that she might as well get some use from it.

Octavia was next tasked with delivering a coded vehicle to a location. She had never driven a car before so this task proved to be a slight challenge to the former agent but she managed to get the hang of the controls quickly and completed the task.

Asha had given Octavia a second viral injection point to protect during this session and the task was about the same as the first.

The last task was another Zin patrol on Arapice Island. Octavia tried out her new Buff ability and used it with her Stomp. The combination slowed the time for other Zin while speeding up her own. The two abilities together made it appear like her enemies were helplessly frozen in time and she would capitalize on that.

With that done, Octavia returned to the ship.

The last Hotspot was heavily defended as it should have been. However, the Zin were still unprepared for a fast-moving psychotic mare wielding a hobby horse that could level structures and send them flying. Many Zin were smashed by the weapon before the madmare shut down the last maintenance device.

Pinkamena’s Vorpal Blade, combined with her Stomp, left an entire Zin patrol in tiny pieces before they hit the ground. The Warden that showed up afterward was merely another victim of the Butcher.

With the last store already hacked, Pinkamena moved on to her final task for the session which was another virus injection. The madmare had to wonder how many viruses in the system would be enough for the Saints hackers.

Knowing that she wouldn’t get the answer by just standing among the remains of her enemies, Pinkamena returned to the ship to claim her reward.

Ben King delivered when he found a variant of the Buff ability that would allow her to freeze nearby enemies.

All of the preparations had been made. The time had come for the Equestrians to rescue the Pie sisters from their torment at the hands of Zinyak. The plan was simple, once inside the simulation, the Saint Six would head for The Broken Shillelagh and Moondancer would use the cypher to open the way into the prison simulation.

The other Saints offered to help with their operation but Pinkamena only accepted Matt’s and Kinzie’s help at the computer with CID helping where she was able since this was a Pie family matter.

The unicorn took her position in the chair while the other Equestrians lied down around her. Moondancer lit her horn and all six of them had their consciousness projected into the simulation.

Once back in Virtual Steelport, the Saint Six headed straight for The Broken Shillelagh.

Coming through on their deal with CID, the robotic orb changed her mind about the date with Past Shaundi in favor of having a murderbot body in the simulation. After they found a murderbot which they lured out by causing mayhem in the simulation, Vinyl disabled it with her electrical powers while Kinzie erased its programming. Once erased, CID transferred her consciousness into the murderbot. To make sure her prior functions were not lost, Vinyl modified the killing machine with the necessary components from the C.I.D.

“After all this, I feel like I could earn that degree in engineering when we get back home to Equus,” Vinyl commented.

“It is about time that you finally decided to do more with your life than lie on the couch and play your gigs,” Octavia quipped.

“I still earn my share of the rent,” Vinyl playfully defended. Octavia smiled and rolled her eyes.

Once everypony and griff were ready, Pinkamena began, “Alright girls, we’re about to break into a prison that Zinyak really doesn’t want us in. Moondancer will explain the situation.”

Moondancer nodded, “Once I start using the cypher to unlock the prison with CID, Zinyak is going to send his army against us to stop us. He may already be sending his troops as we speak.”

“You know me so well, Moondancer,“ Zinyak spoke. “I suppose it’s about time that I crushed your spirits once and for all.”

With that, numerous portals opened up and waves of Zin troops emerged from them.

“Once we start,” Moondancer continued. “Vinyl, Kinize and Matt will need to quickly bypass the additional security into their simulation while the rest of you defend us while we work.”

With the briefing finished, Moondancer and CID began creating the gateway. As expected, the gateway turned red due to the additional security on the simulation they wished to enter. The hackers began putting their skills to full use on the door.

Several minutes passed. While the defenders were holding back the many Zin bearing down on them, there was still no change with the door.

Pinkie began growing frustrated as she saw the door was still not open. “Will they hurry up? The solution is simple, so why haven’t they solved it?”

“I can’t switch over right now, Pinkie. It’s taking all of us to hold them off.”

It only took a few more minutes of fighting before Pinkie’s patience ran out. “I can’t take this anymore!” she yelled.

“What are you planning?” Pinkamena asked.

That was when a light shined from Pinkamena’s barrel. From that light, a pink hoof appeared, one slightly brighter than Pinkamena’s. Another hoof appeared and began pushing against Pinkamena’s body. Pinkie’s head soon appeared as she pushed her way out of Pinkamena’s body. Pinkie soon fell to the floor on her face, now fully separated from Pinkamena.

Everyone spared a moment to glance at what happened. It was then that the same thought was made by everyone who witnessed what happened, “Not gonna ask about that. Not gonna ask about that…”

Aboard the ship, the other Saints were perplexed by what they were seeing among the unconscious ponies. None of them had words to describe what just happened as they witnessed a familiar bright pink pony with a curly hot pink mane and.tail appear next to Pinkamena, unconscious like the rest.

Pierce was the first to say something. “How the hell did she…”

He was interrupted by everyone else in the room saying in unison, “Pierce, if you value your sanity, don’t think about it.”

Pinkie rose to her hooves and headed toward the gateway where she pushed Vinyl aside and solved the encryption on the locked gateway within three seconds. The gateway turned bluish white.

“What? How? That’s impossible! That prison used the best encryption in all of the Zin Empire, so how was it solved in three seconds by a pony of lesser intelligence than her peers? It make’s no sense!” Zinyak ranted.

Nobody was going to tell the alien overlord about Pinkie Logic because it amused them to see Zinyak at a loss about what happened. The Zin forces also stopped attacking while they scratched their heads. The murderbots and C.I.D.s in the area suffered a blue screen error.

The only murderbot that didn’t blue screen was CID who accepted the illogical nature of Pinkie Logic with the other Saints.

Taking advantage of the confusion, Pinkamena ran to the gateway and pulled Pinkie into the door with her.

The inside of the simulation was a slave camp quarry with many guards protecting it.

“So their nightmare is a slave camp?” Pinkie asked.

“Not exactly, but close,” Pinkamena answered. “Our sisters and I hated that our parents were so determined to have at least one of us live out our days at the rock farm to keep the family business going. We each had our own dreams that didn’t involve the farm. Maud was living her’s while Limestone wanted to be a bartender. Marble never really told us her dreams but we’re pretty sure it didn’t involve the rock farm.”

“I know you said none of you wanted to inherit the farm before, but why was it so important to our parents that one of us inherit the rock farm that they risked being hated by their own foals?”

“We asked our parents that question before. Father didn’t know why, he just enjoyed the idea of rock farming so he went with it. Apparently, the reason stemmed from Mother’s side of the family. She didn’t explain it very well, only that it related to one of our ancestors from her side receiving a fortune about one of her descendants born from a rock farm rising to a level of greatness that rivaled the princesses. None of us bought it because they’d have to be an alicorn to be that great. Even then, we’re simple Earth Ponies, anything that grandiose was more likely to happen to a unicorn. Plus that’s a storybook cliche.”

“That doesn’t mean that it won’t happen.”

“So would you throw away your party planning career to run a rock farm?”

Silence was Pinkamena’s response from Pinkie.

“That’s what I thought. Come on, we have to save our sisters.”

As the pink duo was about to head into the quarry, Pinkamena paused as she remembered something.

“I almost forgot, I have to tell you the bad news about us now being separated. I can’t protect you from seeing my violent and gory actions anymore. Even worse is that if you want to survive to see your friends again, I can’t have you being passive. I gave the same speech to Moondancer so I’m sure you already know what I’m telling you.”

Pinkie’s ears drooped as she soon came to the realization that there were consequences to separating from her sister. Her body locked up when she thought about taking the life of another.

Pinkamena noticed the rising panic in her sister but there wasn’t much else she could do for Pinkie now. Unless she had some ability to deal with the Zin without killing them, then the party mare really didn’t have much of a choice.

However, knowing Pinkie, the madmare had a feeling that she might find a way.

“Come on Pinkie, we have to save our sisters.”

Pinkie recovered somewhat and nodded grimly before she followed her sister into danger.

The quarry was at least as bad as Pinkamena expected. Aside from the fact that there were guards all over the area, the guards were also carrying Zin rifles, which was to be expected. The immediate objective that needed to be completed first was to find Maud, Limestone and Marble.

Pinkie managed to mentally bounce back and helped find her sisters. In typical Pinkie fashion, she found them in five seconds. Marble was seen near their parents’ house, Limestone was near the center of the quarry breaking rocks and Maud was seen going into a gem cave.

The situation was delicate, with the trio separated, if the guards discovered intruders, they would shoot the sisters on sight and the pink duo would be back to square one when the simulation reset.

Pinkie and Pinkamena tried the gem cave first since the guards were less likely to notice them.

While there were guards in the cave, Pinkamena quickly slaughtered them before they could raise an alarm. Pinkie moved deeper into the cave to find Maud. Thankfully, there were no more guards deeper in the cave.

Pinkie soon found her sister in the depths of the cave mining gems. In an instant, she was in Maud’s face smiling.

“Hello Pinkie,” Maud said in monotone.

“Hey Maud, we’re here to rescue you and Marble and Limestone.”

“Who else is with you?”

“Just me and Mena, but we’re all we need to save you.”

Pinkie could always tell the subtle changes in Maud’s expression and she could tell that Maud was frowning deeply even if she didn’t show it. “Could you go to sleep for a few minutes? I want to talk to Mena.”

“Anything you want to tell me about you can talk to Pinkie about too. She’s a big filly,” Pinkamena said as she approached.

Maud stared blankly at Pinkamena before she turned to Pinkie again. “You two are separated?”

“Yuppers, it happened less than an hour ago.”

Seeing Pinkie unharmed and still in good spirits was a relief to Maud. The expressionless mare turned her attention to the madmare, “I’m surprised that Pinkie is still happy despite being around you.”

Pinkamena rolled her eyes, “Here we go with the family drama. Just because I’m a rebellious bitch doesn’t mean I don’t love our sister.”

Maud blinked without saying anything for a moment before she spoke again, “That’s surprising, given the fact that you were locked away in Pinkie’s mind for ten years. I would have figured that you hated her for being your oblivious jailer.”

“I’ll admit that I was at first, but the years that I spent with the Saints helped me get over that. I was able to vent my frustrations by taking the lives of some flankhole humans.”

“You’ve been going around killing?”

“Just the ones who have been trying to kill me. Being part of a gang isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.”

“You’ve been exposing Pinkie to violence. Limestone, Marble and I agreed to not expose her to our family’s dark secrets and I would have hoped that you would agree.”

“Would you quit coddling her? She’s an adult like the rest of us. Let her choose her own path.”

“Umm…” Pinkie began but was ignored. However, Pinkie wasn’t going to let that bit play out so she pulled out her party cannon and fired it to get her sisters’ attention. Pinkamena and Maud looked at Pinkie.

“Warden!” Pinkie screamed.

On cue, the hulking form of a Warden entered the chamber. Pinkamena and Maud looked at each other then glowered at the Warden before both mares raced for the beast.

This Warden didn’t have his shields up so it was a simple matter for Maud to run behind the Warden and buck his lower spine with her right forehoof, shattering it. This caused the Warden to fall backward before Pinkamena crushed his face with her Knightmare, shattering the skull and splattering the brain.

With the Warden dealt with, the two older mares looked at each other again. “Save the family drama for later?” Pinkamena asked.

“Agreed. Limestone should be coming in soon, but we will need to move fast to save Marble from our parents once they find out what happened here. Nice cutie mark by the way.”

“I still don’t like how long it took for me to get it.”

Limestone entered the chamber a few minutes later. She was surprised to find Pinkie and Pinkamena in the chamber with Maud. The three discussed the truce with Limestone to make sure she was up to date on the situation.

“So what’s the plan?” Limestone asked.

“The three of you will rescue Marble,” Pinkamena said. “I’m gonna cause mayhem in the quarry as a distraction.”

“Are you nuts? There’s an army of Ponies out there with weird weapons,” Limestone stated.

“Eh. I’ve faced worse,” Pinkamena said nonchalantly.

“It’s true,” Pinkie affirmed. “Mena’s faced down hordes of aliens plenty of times before we found a way to get you three out.”

“Fine, if you plan to go on a killing spree, make sure none of them are left standing,” Limestone said.

Pinkamena smirked, “Just don’t give me a reason to come save your flanks.”

With that, the four Pies ran out of the cave and into the quarry. Pinkamena quickly became the center of attention when she announced her presence by hurling a few grenades around that blew up a few guards. The other guards converged on the madmare who smiled wickedly as she got to work murdering the guards.

Meanwhile, Pinkie, Limestone and Maud snuck to the house to find Marble. Thankfully, Pinkamena’s distraction wasn’t noticed at the house so they had time to save Marble who was just outside the house tending to its appearance. The pony noticed the three nearby and raced toward Pinkie to give her a big hug.

After the sisterly embrace, Limestone spoke up, “Now that we’re together Pinkie, can you tell us what the Tartarus is this place? It obviously isn’t home.”

“Oh, that’s easy, you three are trapped inside a fake reality created by some alien technology belonging to a race of meanie aliens called the Zin who like using these things to psychologically torture their victims with their worst nightmares. Obviously, you, Maud and Marble share the same fear so Zinyak, the leader of the Zin, put you three in the same simulation together. I think Zinyak captured you three because Mena prevented him from capturing his real target, a human named Johnny Gat who is said to be the biggest threat to his empire.”

“Aha! So Pinkamena did have something to do with us being in this situation.”

“She is trying to save us, Limestone,” Maud said.

“Yeah but…” Limestone never finished that sentence as a look from the expressionless pony told her to let the matter go.

“You four are going nowhere,” came a familiar voice from inside the house.

Out of the house came a pair of ponies the Pie sisters knew all too well. Igneous Rock, a dark tan Earth Pony stallion with two tones of gray mane and tail and amber eyes accompanied Cloudy Quartz, a gray Earth Pony mare with grayish green mane and tail and sea green eyes. The two were carrying alien rifles and pointed them at the Pie sisters.

Maud and Limestone stood in front of Pinkie and Marble in an effort to protect them from their parents.

“I kinda wish I had superpowers right now,” Pinkie said.

“Wish granted,” said Vinyl from the simulation’s audio system.

Pinkie suddenly found herself feeling the surge of power that Pinkamena felt before. As was characteristic of ponies who received the superpower package, Pinkie was also equipped with the appendage needed for Telekinesis.

Her appearance also changed as she now wore a yellow undershirt with a blue bowtie under a jacket of light blue that was buttoned up around her barrel. The light blue top hat completed the ensemble that made her look like a circus ringleader.

“What the?! How did you turn into a unicorn, and what’s with the clothes?” Limestone asked.

Pinkie giggled, “It’s part of the simulation superpower package. I’m still an Earth Pony, I just have a horn to use Telekinesis with.”

Hoping not to hurt her parents too badly, she hurled a Blast at them. The effect seemed very odd yet “Pinkie” of her as their parents were turned into chocolate ponies wrapped in foil the same color as the ponies’ color scheme.

“Let’s go find Mena and get out of here,” Pinkie said. The others agreed and ran into the quarry.

The four immediately regretted doing that a little as they spotted a scene of gore as body parts of the guards were scattered all over the area.

Standing in the area was Pinkamena, dressed in a light blue and white dress that was stained in blood and had symbols embroidered into the dress.

“Hmm…” Pinkamena thought to herself out loud. “Not really enjoying the dress, maybe…” With a thought, her dress was altered to look like a dress made of entrails which horrified her sisters before it changed again to take on a crimson version of the previous dress appearance. “Ooh, customizable, I can work with this.”

Pinkamena turned to her sisters who had a mix of expressions that ranged from horrified to angry to...Maud. “Sorry about that last one, I was testing out this new appearance. It’s time we get out of here. Pinkie, care to give them the orientation?”

Pinkie informed Maud, Limestone and Marble about what was about to happen and to be prepared to fight their way to freedom. Pinkamena added that they didn’t need to hold back against the Zin as they were going to be killing aliens anyway.

When Pinkamena told Limestone that she was free to vent her frustrations on the aliens in any way she wanted, the salty mare suddenly became eager to unleash her long pent up rage.

“See you soon,” Pinkamena said as she and Pinkie disappeared which was followed by Maud’s Limestone’s and Marble’s vision going black.

Author's Notes:

Super Pinkie:
Superpower element: Party
Blast: Turns targets in Blast area into candy.
Telekinesis: Encases target in a telekinetic bouncy ball. Damage caused depends on size of target.
Stomp: Turns area into a trampoline.
Buff: Compels nearby enemies to dance.

Super Pinkamena:
Superpower element: Blood
Blast: Primary target explodes in blood and gore. Secondary targets damaged by flying knives.
Telekinesis: Life stealing. Target explodes upon reaching 0 HP.
Stomp: Impales nearby targets with a various assortment of knives erupting from the ground.
Buff: ??? (Results may vary.)

I haven't planned any powers for Maud, Marble or Limestone so don't expect any loyalty mission for them.

I also wanted to put in a joke about a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker with Pinkamena murdering a mime but I felt that would have been too forced and I couldn't think of a way to put that in where it wouldn't be.

The Dominatrix Pentalogy

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Rescuing the Pie sisters from their location on the Zin mothership wasn’t difficult as Zinyak didn’t consider those three much of a threat. However, most of the Zin forces in the sector of the mothership were focused on Pinkamena.

The madmare had a feeling that the alien overlord was starting to reconsider his priority list of threats.

Pinkie remained behind on the Saints ship while her sister and her friends attacked the Zin forces on their way to Maud, Limestone and Marble. Pinkamena smashed her way through some locked doors.

As she got close to her sisters, she heard some heavy impacts on the other side of a door as a door on the far side of the next room she was about to enter was smashed in. This was followed by more lasers firing.

Pinkamena smashed her door before she and her friends joined the fray. The Zin never stood a chance as they were caught in a pincer maneuver between Pinkamena’s group and the Pie sisters.

Once the Zin were dealt with, the two groups met. The first words spoken between them came from Limestone, “Where’s Pinkie?”

“She’s on the ship with the rest of the motley crew. You didn’t honestly think I would bring her with me on this dangerous rescue mission, did you?”

Limestone looked away. Pinkamena rolled her eyes before she continued, “Anyway, let’s get back to the ship. This is hardly the place to discuss family matters.”

The mares nodded in agreement and returned to the ship.

Pinkie, Pinkamena, Maud, Limestone and Marble shut themselves in one room on the ship. The more curious of the Saints stood next to the door to listen in while the other Saints shook their heads in disappointment.

Pinkamena began, “So, are we going to discuss my behavior up until Pinkie was born? My murderous tendencies that I honed while I was with the Saints? My love of torturing flankholes to death?”

The gray Pies looked at each other for a moment. It was Marble who broke the silence, “Umm...could you tell us how you forgave Pinkie for holding you captive in her mind for ten years?”

Pinkamena sighed, “It wasn’t her fault. I admit that I was mad at her at first for that, but the freedom to be myself while I was with the Saints helped me to throw away that silly notion pretty quickly. At first, I envied her for being the pony who got so much love and adoration and a great bunch of friends, but I got over that too as I became friends with Treehugger, Gilda, Octavia, Vinyl and Moondancer. So now, I see her as much as a sister as you three do.”

Pinkie hugged Pinkamena in response. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that, Mena.”

Pinkamena rolled her eyes, “I can only guess.”

Marble smiled at the display.

“So what do we do now?” Maud asked. “We have an alien overlord bearing down on us and no idea how to get home. As for the other stuff, me, Limestone and Marble have accepted that you are you. As long as you care for Pinkie like we do, you could be an escapee from Tartarus for all we care and we’ll still love you.”

“I have an idea,” Pinkie declared. “Let’s have a party to celebrate us saving everyone from those icky nightmare simulations.”

“Party after Zinyak is dead, remember?” Pinkamena reminded her.

“Oh yeah, how about we get everyone together and watch a movie?”

“Any suggestions?”

“How about the last movie that was ever made on Earth?”

“You mean that one the Saints starred in with a title that sounds like a mix between a rip-off of an existing movie with some kink?”

“Yupperoonie!”

Pinkamena thought about it for a moment then shrugged, “Eh, why not. We’re getting close to the end of our war against Zinyak anyway so taking some time off to watch a movie might not hurt.”

After the meeting, the Pie sisters headed out of the room to meet the other Saints.

Limestone stopped Pinkamena from leaving to ask an important question in private, “So what about inheriting the rock farm?”

Pinkamena raised an eyebrow, “Do you seriously believe in that fortune nonsense? Here’s the thing sis, it’s a bunch of malarkey. Maud left home to get her rocktorate because she didn’t believe in that nonsense. I don’t know what Marble plans to do. And when I get back home to Equus, I’m dealing with Celestia’s little detrot gang problem by taking them over and starting my own criminal enterprise. You can inherit the farm if you want, but that’s your choice. But If I were you, I’d forget that fortune nonsense and get my bartending license like I always wanted and open that bar somewhere.”

Limestone no longer barred her sister as the facts slapped her in the face. Her sister made a good point, she didn’t believe in the fortune as much as her sisters did. Limestone couldn’t believe how foolish she was.

The grumpy mare resolved to get that license the moment they return home, if they did.

After the movie announcement was made, Asha and Ben asked Pinkamena and Octavia to help them with their tasks while Asha also had a training scenario prepared for herself and Octavia.

While Kinzie was searching through the Zin archive for the movie, Pinkamena and Octavia entered the simulation to deal with their tasks.

Ben wanted a second act to write about and Pinkamena was tasked with making it exciting. “Hope he doesn’t mind horror with his action,” she thought.

Her first task was another virus injection. Using her Singularity Gun, she gathered her enemies around her before she used her new Blast on them. The blast took the shape of a knife that stabbed one enemy in the chest before he exploded into a wide assortment of knives in all directions that caused each victim to explode into blood and viscera.

She grabbed another enemy in her Telekinesis which drained them of their life force. She held her victim next to another group of attackers who were blown away by the explosion caused when the held victim expired.

Pinkamena was unable to test out the rest of her powers because the virus injection completed too quickly.

She moved on to her next task which was the assassination of another rogue program that went by the name Zinnimda. Once spotted, Pinkamena decided to kill the program in style by jumping as high as she could before diving toward the unsuspecting program. She pulled out her Knightmare and splattered the program over the pavement and created a huge crater in the process.

Pinkamena tested her modified Stomp ability on a Zin patrol in The Grove. The entire patrol was instantly impaled on a variety of knives that rose from the ground.

Another virus injection awaited the madmare. This time she tested her Buff power. Things became horrific for the next few seconds as the area around her turned monochrome, her coat, mane and tail turned various shades of gray, black and white. Her mane danced outward in numerous directions. Her eyes became pitch black, as if one were to look into them and see nothingness. Her teeth were sharpened to points where the tips were soaked in blood.

The enemies that showed up froze in fear while some that were able to move ended up shooting themselves so they wouldn’t have to feel such terror anymore. Those who remained melted into blood and guts.

When the Buff wore off, Kinzie screamed through the audio, “Warn us next time you do that! Matt fainted and some of us nearly had a heart attack, me included!”

“In my defense, I had no idea my Buff ability was going to do that. How did Ben take it?”

“He’s scribbling vigorously about what he saw. I swear, for him to see such horror and write about it, he could give Stephen King a run for his money.”

No more enemies showed up after that scare so the virus injection finished with no problems.

Pinkamena returned to the ship to prepare the popcorn popper.

Octavia had no problem with her tasks.

She started by taking out one of the few remaining Zin patrols remaining in the simulation from a distance with her sniper rifle. She defended another virus injection point by distorting time in her favor. To the naked eye, it would seem like groups of enemies were each shot in the head in an instant.

Octavia’s finesse and speed as well as her temporal abilities made the task of stabilizing CID’s last rift, which was a speed rift, trivial.

The musical mare finished Asha’s list with a light jog through the airport, which translated to a simple race through the system.

Instead of returning to the ship however, Asha directed Octavia to a place on Carver Island near the coast. The musical mare had a feeling that this matter had to do with the scenario that Asha had set up so she headed directly there.

Asha briefed Octavia upon arrival. “Maybe you’re familiar with this type of scenario, A VIP is in town and it’s our responsibility to see she safely arrives at all three spots on her route. Along the way, we will encounter scenarios typical of a VIP escort job.”

“Yes, I am familiar with such tasks. I have been called upon to escort Canterlot nobles through the...less savory...parts of town. Most of the time nothing dangerous happens, but I take care not to let my guard down.”

“Aces! Then let’s see you put those skills to the test. For the duration of the scenario, Matt has disabled your powers.”

“That is acceptable, I must take care not to be spoiled by such gifts.”

Looking at the VIP, Octavia recognized the face of Tammy Tolliver, a host of Genkibowl.

“I’ll drive, be on the lookout for hostiles,” Asha ordered. Octavia nodded.

The drive to the first store was uneventful. Asha drove Octavia and Tammy to a Planet Cyber. The musical mare rolled her eyes at Vinyl’s hoofwork.

Asha pointed at some random tough-looking person and asked her to evaluate him as a threat. Octavia couldn’t sense any hostilities from the person but for some reason Tammy walked up to the guy and beat his face in.

“Well, that happened,” Octavia commented.

“Indeed,” Asha agreed.

On the way to the second store, a Friendly Fire, Asha warned of possible danger at the next stop.

Asha stayed close to the VIP while Octavia found a vantage point on a nearby roof. She stayed vigilant for a few minutes as the VIP made her purchase. Asha asked if the coast was clear. Looking around, Octavia spotted snipers on the roof getting into position.

“We have snipers on the rooftops. Do not leave the store until I say so,” Octavia warned.

The musical mare began shooting the snipers one by one. Her excellent vision made spotting the snipers effortless. Once the snipers were dead, she called Asha and the VIP out of the building while she got off the roof to join the two in the car.

“You have good eyes,” Asha complimented.

Octavia smirked, “How did you think I was able to shoot that lookout way back then?”

The next stop was when things really became intense. An enemy ambush turned into a problem when a large number of enemies attacked. Asha tried to contact Matt to find out why he intensified the resistance but it turned out that Zinyak decided to tamper with the scenario as he bragged about his alterations.

Octavia and Asha dealt with the ambush while the MI6 agent called in a rescue vehicle. It turned out that the rescue vehicle was also hostile so Octavia shot it down with her AT rifle.

The helicopter destroyed the VIP’s car so they took another car to the extraction point.

However, instead of an extraction, they got a large gift box. From the box, emerged Genki. The man-cat pointed a rocket launcher at Tammy’s car and blew it up along with Tammy. Once that was done, Genki started glowing with the usual indicator of having a shield and had an aura of rainbow lights and stars.

Asha cursed as the cat proved invincible.

“In this situation, superpowers are definitely necessary,” Octavia commented.

“Oh, yes. Matt, can you hear me? We need some powers ASAP.”

“Coming right up,” Matt said just before Asha and Octavia were empowered.

Using a Blast, Octavia knocked out Genki’s shield and slowed him while Asha unleashed her arsenal on Genki. Between the two of them, Super Genki was quickly put down.

After congratulating each other for a job well done, the two returned to the ship to get ready for the movie diversion.

Everyone gathered in the cargo bay around a large screen that was built by Vinyl. The Saints gathered every seat they could from all over the ship. Once the cargo bay had been converted to an indoor theater, Playa grabbed the remote and started the movie.

The first thing they saw was a few interviews with actors, including Zinyak.

“Wait, if Zinyak is the enemy, how did he get a part in this?” Limestone asked.

“Because this is what Saints Row 4 might have been if Volition didn’t decide to scrap the project in favor of the scenario we’re in now,” Pinkie answered.

“That doesn’t make any...whatever, what’s this supposed to be about anyway?”

“Trust me Limestone, you do not want to take this movie seriously,” Pinkamena warned. “It’s pretty much incomplete content that displays an alternate scenario where the Zin attack the real Steelport after Playa decided to go after Killbane and left Shaundi to die.”

“Who’s Killbane?”

“No one important.”

The first actual footage was of the Saints fighting off an invasion of Zin in Steelport. Zinyak was demanding the city’s surrender and Josh Birk sacrificed himself to kill some giant one-eyed Zin.

Limestone was still confused by what was going on while Pinkamena tried to assure her that the whole thing was intentionally nonsense. Everyone knew that the movie sucked but the purpose of seeing it was to make fun of how bad it was.

“Did the directors not have time to film the rest of the scene?” Johnny asked.

“You get what you get with a low budget,” Pierce said.

The next scene involved getting to Mayor Pierce Washington’s office while inside a vehicle with a giant head resembling Johnny on it.

“I’d say they got the proportions just right for that vehicle,” Pierce commented.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Johnny asked warily.

Once at the office, Pierce directed Playa to his car which was a tank. Playa went on a rampage in the tank while asking how Pierce found Zinyak. Pierce told him that he hacked the Zin network.

“They really need to get their facts straight,” Kinzie commented.

“So, if you were involved in these events Pinkamena, where were you?” Marble asked.

“I didn’t want to take part in this stupid version so the directors retconned me to where Discord decided that he would take me and my friends home without showing that in any of the content.”

The first part ended when Playa drove the tank to Zinyak’s headquarters and killed the alien overlord using a series of unnecessary button prompts that didn’t make the fight look any better.

“Kinda lame, he didn’t even put up a fight,” Limestone said.

“I know, the least they could have done was jazz up the fight a little,” Gilda added.

The next part involved the Saints being in the simulation somehow. Donnie was also involved and he was playing the role of some kind of guru who taught playa how to use superpowers.

Playa and Donnie tracked down the Dominatrix, an A.I. who took control of the Zin fleet and the simulation, and fought, only for her to disappear and split herself into multiple forms to capture Pierce and Shaundi.

Playa had to fight off the Dominatrix’s forces composed of gimps with dildo bats. He also encountered tanks with dildos on the main barrel and dildo-shaped VTOLs.

Limestone raised an eyebrow about what she was seeing before looking at the Saints, “You humans have no self-control.”

Pinkamena started laughing uproariously when she heard that. Limestone tilted her head in confusion as she saw her sister laughing. Pinkie addressed her sister’s confusion. “It’s funny because she said the same thing a few years ago. Pierce even had a sex doll collection at one time.”

Limestone couldn’t stop herself from laughing when she heard that. Maud cracked a noticeable smile.

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up,” Pierce sighed. “Ponies…”

After Playa saved Shaundi, Pierce and Donnie, who failed miserably at saving Shaundi, Kinzie called Playa to her location where she had a plan to trap the Dominatrix into one body so she couldn’t clone herself anymore.

While Kinzie was making her long-winded explanation of her plan, Pierce fast forwarded the movie to get past the jargon. That earned him a slap in the back of the head by the female hacker.

Once the A.I. was drawn to the location, Playa activated the nodes around him and trapped the Dominatrix into one form.

Kinzie didn’t specify which one.

The Dominatrix disappeared to an unknown part of the simulation, ending part two.

The next part showed the Saints continuing their interview with Jane Valderamma. They discussed the various nebulous tasks needed to find the Dominatrix until finding the A.I. in a sex club and the hoops they had to go through to meet her.

When the scene played, Playa was in BDSM gear carrying a dildo bat. In order to meet the Dominatrix, he had to please her right hand man, Dom Inator the Dom. His first task was to put the subs in furry costumes in their cages.

Next, he wanted Playa to service a client. When he found out it was Zimos, things got really awkward.

Most of the movie’s audience cringed when they saw what might have happened but was thankful that it didn’t happen.

“Ugh, as curious as I am to see two stallions fucking one another, I’d rather not have it involve old stallions,” Gilda commented. “It’s like watching Grandpa Gruff doing it with Gallus...eww.”

“Anyone have some brain bleach?” Limestone asked.

“I’d watch that,” Maud said.

Pinkamena rolled her eyes, “Of course you would…”

Playa was next tasked with taking out the competition for a chariot race. Playa went from room to room bashing subs with his dildo bat. When he went back to Dom, the Dom laughed and gloated that the Saints leader made it easier for him to win the chariot race.

After that, the entire club attacked Playa. He pulled out his guns and started shooting down the army of subs before targeting the Dom and killing him.

Playa still had a chariot race to win so he called Zimos to be his pony for the race.

After a brief period of the movie displaying colored bars, the scene changed to the chariot race with Zimos pulling and Playa shooting the competition. He targeted the pullers and caused chariots to explode. Once the last chariot blew up, Playa won the race by being the only one left.

“Exploding chariots?! That doesn’t make sense!” Limestone shouted.

“Apply the same reasoning here that you would for Pinkie’s antics,” Pinkamena advised.

“I didn’t think there could be anything in this universe that could be as nonsensical as Pinkie.”

Pinkie ate a cupcake as big as her in one gulp without her gut expanding. The Saints paid it no mind.

The next part involved the Dominatrix sending Paul, the titanic soda can, to terrorize the city. The Saints’ plan was to drive a ship inside Paul’s body and destroy his brain with a cargo load of pop rocks.

The scene was a typical body adventure where they blasted cells from Paul’s immune system before they made it into his brain, dumped the cargo where they had to shake the ship to get it out, and desperately escaped to reach Paul’s lid so they could blast it open and escape.

The escape was a no budget rendition of a stage crew member playing with a toy ship and a toy Paul that was pouring purple liquid.

The Equestrians each had an expression on their faces that mimicked Maud’s expression. It was Octavia who spoke first, “Whoever was in charge of managing the budget for this movie was a complete novice at financial management.”

“Or a complete slacker,” Vinyl added.

“There weren’t a lot of applicants willing to be a part of the making of the movie so we were scraping the bottom of the barrel to get the movie made,” Playa said.

“Those toys probably cost about ten percent of their budget at least,” Treehugger commented.

Everyone nodded their heads in agreement.

The fifth and final part of the movie involved one final fight with the Dominatrix and her dildo tanks and VTOLs. While the fight was okay and the Dominatrix was finally defeated, the ending was completely unexpected as they were visited by alien velociraptors who the Saints rode out of the collapsing simulation.

What followed was the Saints being rewarded by the Velociraptor King, Cirano. Pierce got a dinosaur with guns. Donnie got respect. Kinzie got vengeance, for what or against whom was never mentioned. Shaundi married Cirano and Playa just wanted to go bowling with the king.

With that, the movie ended.

“I’m pretty sure whoever wrote that movie was on crack,” Pinkamena commented.

“C’mon, dinosaurs are awesome,” Pierce said.

“What’s a dinosaur?” Treehugger asked.

“You know about dragons?” Playa asked. The Equestrians nodded. “They’re like dragons but they dont breathe fire and most don’t have wings. Those velociraptors are examples of their kind.”

“Sounds made up,” Limestone said.

“Actually, they used to be very real until millions of years ago when an asteroid hit the Earth and altered the climate. The surviving dinosaurs couldn’t adapt to the new climate so they were all wiped out,” Ben explained.

“How awful,” Marble whimpered.

“How do you even know they were even real?” Limestone asked.

“Museums. Lots of them had their skeletons on display,” Kinzie explained.

Nothing else was said. With the movie over, the Saints left the cargo bay to get ready for the next phase in their plan to eliminate Zinyak.

The Kinzie Gambit

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The Saints were now hard at work at preparing for the final confrontation with Zinyak. At this point, Kinzie had pinpointed the location and route to Zinyak’s throne room. However, in order to get past the countless Zin who would stood in their way, they would need to create a major distraction that would cause the Zin to be thrown into a panic. The only distraction that would be big enough to do that would be to crash the entire simulation.

After gathering all of the info he needed, Ben King had a plan to do that.

Playa decided that he would hold a meeting at Kinzie’s warehouse in the simulation later.

Pinkamena spotted Keith David behaving suspiciously. He seemed torn between something but Pinkamena couldn’t say what. The madmare could only hope that the matter wouldn’t come back to bite her in the flank. If it did, the President would be looking for a new Vice President.

There was still time until the meeting and Ben wanted to see the last uncontrolled pockets of the simulation to fall to the Saints before the endgame began. He located the last activities that needed doing and put them all on one last list. He had Pinkamena take care of that while he had Playa assist him with the matter of Tanya escaping the nightmare simulation into the Steelport simulation.

Tanya was using some sort of virus that turned people into her sex workers to run her brothel. Ben wanted to use the opportunity to do what he always wanted to do: put a bullet in Tanya’s head.

Pinkamena, Playa and Ben headed into the simulation to finish the simulation takeover and to nip an annoyance in the bud.

The madmare headed to Sunset Park to defend the last virus injection. Wanting to end the series of injections in style, she warned the hackers about what she was about to do so Kinzie and Matt switched their monitors to observe Playa absorbing some of Tanya’s virus and having his appearance change into something male strippers wore.

Meanwhile, Pinkamena used her Buff power to shift into her insanity form which was followed up by many of the simulation’s denizens getting slaughtered in mere seconds. After the first wave, the enemies stopped coming and the virus was uploaded with no further resistance.

After that, she headed to the final Zin patrol and ended them by stomping and impaling the Zin on an assortment of knives.

Pinkamena finished Sunset Park by going on a rampage through the area. She used her Singularity Gun to pull in a lot of people and objects before she fired a Blast that caused the singularity to rupture and unleashed a wave of blood from the victims upon the nearby area, destroying more property and people.

If ever the expression, “painting the town red” could be used literally at any point, it would be during this particular rampage as blood painted the entire neighborhood.

Once she was finished, Pinkamena headed to the Super Power Fight Club activity in Espina.

The opponent this time was Julius Little which made Pinkamena feel particularly gleeful.

The madmare had no problems getting past the simple programs with powers before she came face to face with Julius. When she activated her Buff power again, Julius was assaulted with a phantom pain in his gut and his heart as he suddenly remembered the final moments of his death when the Saints each stabbed him in the gut with a knife before Playa plunged his knife into his heart.

Julius looked at the horrifying figure before him and knew that he was going to die again. He could at least go out saying something. “I always knew you were a monster. Now you look like you do on the inside.”

“Personally, I find betrayers much uglier on the inside than I could ever hope to be,” Pinkamena retorted. “Keith David couldn’t have picked a worse character to voice.”

“What are you talking about?”

Pinkamena rushed up to Julius which disabled his shield with her presence. When Julius stared into the void that was her eyes, his heart shut down along with the rest of him. Pinkamena decapitated Julius with her Vorpal Blade and displayed it to the audience after her Buff wore off.

Pinkamena could hear crying coming from the audio. It sounded like Matt. “What’s going on?” the madmare asked.

Kinzie answered, “Matt was stuck between watching two traumatizing images: you in your Buff form, or the boss doing a pole dance dressed as a male stripper. He wasn’t mentally prepared for either so now he’s curled up on the floor in the fetal position.”

“Was the dance any good?” Pinkamena asked.

“It was like watching someone having a seizure so no.”

“I heard that!” Playa yelled. “You just don’t recognize talent when you see it.”

“It’s about what I would expect from Twilight if she tried to pole dance...or dance period,” Pinkie commented.

“Philistines…” Playa groaned.

“Twilight, are you angry because you feel like somepony insulted you again?” Spike asked.

“I’m getting to the bottom of this, I don’t know why I’m feeling like this but i need to find out.”

Twilight started pulling out books from the shelves.

“Wonderful, another all-nighter,” Spike moaned.

“So has Ben killed Tanya yet?” Pinkamena asked.

“Yeah, he just shot her in the head a few seconds ago,” Kinzie answered.

“How’s his super form look?”

“He went with the Laurence Fishburne look.”

“How well does he pull that off?”

“Pretty well actually, he’d have made a good double for him if he went into acting. Anyway, the Saints are gathering at my warehouse to discuss King’s plan to defeat Zinyak.”

“Headed there now.”

Pinkamena and Playa arrived at the warehouse within a few minutes. Pinkamena’s crew, along with Johnny, Ben and Kinzie were already there.

“Are we late for the briefing?” Playa asked.

“We haven’t started yet, I’m waiting on Miller,” Ben said.

“We got a problem,” Matt said as he hurried inside with Shaundi and Asha. “The Zin are coming!”

“Here?!” Kinzie shouted in surprise.

“That’s probably why he said it’s a problem,” Shaundi said with sarcasm.

“Alright, let’s take cover, we should be able to ambush them,” Asha suggested.

Shaundi looked at a nearby screen and noticed why that plan was not going to work as the Zin were marching in formation toward the warehouse. “Not so sure about that.”

“Either Zinyak still has some means of spying on us in the simulation or someone ratted us out,” Pinkamena commented.

“We can talk about that later, for now we need to get out of here,” Octavia said.

It was then that the Zin busted inside and threw some special grenades that made everyone feel weak. Vinyl and Moondancer felt like they had suppression rings put on their horns despite the fact that they could still feel their magic.

“I think those grenades are suppressing our superpowers,” Moondancer said. She then threw a few fire and lightning spells at the invading Zin.

“At least they didn’t suppress our magic,” Pinkamena said.

The Zin were coming in huge numbers, they were facing a full battalion and the Saints were in no position to handle those numbers, especially with the grenades suppressing their powers.

“Hey, we gotta go! There’s too many of them,” Pierce shouted.

“There’s a helicopter on a nearby roof! We can use it to get everyone to safety,” Ben offered.

“Matt and I will head out on our own, force the enemy to split their forces. We’ll catch up,” Asha shouted.

“Before all that we need some breathin’ room. Let’s take out those tanks,” Johnny suggested.

Pinkamena and Vinyl pulled out their Singularity Gun and Wubstep Gun respectively and cleared out the entrance with a series of black holes and explosive wubs.

Another wave of Zin was coming and Pierce and Ben stayed behind to hold the Zin off while everyone else headed for the chopper on the roof.

Once inside the chopper, Playa covered Pierce and Ben from above with the guns while Pinkie piloted the chopper and stayed close to the car that Pierce and Ben were using for their escape.

Pinkie and Playa worked together to escort the car to safety while destroying the numerous pursuers and roadblocks in their way.

Suddenly, the helicopter caught fire.

“We’re going down!” Shaundi shouted.

“Pinkie, how did you get shot down?” Pinkamena asked.

“It’s not my fault, this is a scripted event!”

“Brace yourselves!” Playa shouted.

Everyone and everypony jumped out of the helicopter and onto a rooftop before the helicopter crashed.

The crew had some minor scrapes and bruises but no real injuries. They managed to get up and brush themselves off.

“Everyone okay?” Playa asked,

“We walked away right?” Johnny asked rhetorically.

“Oh look, a cat. Is this a pet store?” Past Shaundi asked.

That was no pet store. The face of a massive-headed pink cat with green eyes and wearing glasses said otherwise.

“This is about to get fun,” Pinkamena commented.

“Merry Christmas to me,” Johnny commented.

The crew entered the elevator into the building and exited onto a balcony above a typical showroom floor for one of Professor Genki’s episodes of Super Ethical Reality Climax.

Kinzie was working on hacking another elevator for the group to reach a lower floor but the game activated on its own. Knowing what was about to happen, Playa and Johnny manned a pair of turrets.

Zin troops showed up on the showroom floor for the duo to shoot at while Kinizie was at work hacking the elevator.

Pinkamena assisted by firing black holes at groups of Zin troops to pull them in while Vinyl unleashed musical mayhem.

Genki suddenly showed up to beat up everyone on the showroom floor. For some reason, Playa was really determined to kill the man-cat and unleashed a continuous wave of lasers at Genki.

Once the cat went down, the door to the prize room was opened. Kinzie was uncharacteristically excited about the prizes.

The crew made it outside and found a pair of Genkimobiles waiting for them. Kinzie demanded to be the driver of one while Pinkie drove the other.

Pinkamena used her communicator to talk with Kinzie. “Since we’re in between waves of Zin, you mind filling us in on Ben’s Plan?”

“Ben’s plan was to overload the simulation. We can still do that but not if the Zin know our every move.”

“Do you know how we can prevent that?”

“Yes, but I need to get back to the ship so I can find a way to cut them off. Once that’s done, it’s just a matter of finding the weakest point in the simulation.”

“Alright, let’s find the nearest gateway and get out of here.”

After blasting through a few roadblocks, Ben reported that Pierce and himself were exiting the simulation. The transmission was suspiciously fuzzy.

That was when Zinyak showed up, bringing the car to a halt and grabbed Kinzie before he smashed her head against the car several times before he leapt away with her.

Shaundi then spoke over the simulation audio, “Everyone, you need to get out of the simulation right now!” Everyone was suddenly and forcibly pulled from the simulation.

As everyone was recovering from their forceful ejection from the simulation, Playa recovered first to yell at Shaundi, “What the fuck are you doing, they got Kinzie!”

“Boss, the Zin are here!”

“What?”

“We were set up! I got out of the simulation, Pierce and King were out cold, the proximity alarm is screaming and Asha, Miller and the Vice President are gone.”

“They kidnapped Keith David!?”

“And left us sleeping so we’d get picked up by Zinyak,” Johnny finished as he handed Shaundi a weapon.

Everyone armed themselves and prepared to repel the Zin boarding party.

Once a group of Zin forced the door open, they suddenly found themselves looking at their headless bodies as their final moment was upon them.

Pinkamena went on a rampage throughout the ship and coated the lower decks in Zin blood.

The ship suddenly started shaking so the other Saints went to the bridge to investigate. CID explained that a Zin transport ship was carrying them toward certain doom and that there was a strange heat signature coming from the cargo hold.

“Hey guys, we got bombs,” Pinkamena said through the comms after she slaughtered the Zin in the cargo hold.

“Hey boss, you thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’,” Johnny asked.

Playa and Johnny went to the cargo hold to collect the bombs. “Time for some explosive fun.”

After they collected the bombs, Playa, Pinkamena and Johnny headed out the airlock and through a Zin boarding tunnel to the enemy ship. “Yo, anything you wanna use these on?” Johnny asked once they reached the Zin ship.

“Probably something that looks big, glowy and important,” Pinkamena answered.

“Makes sense.”

While Pinkamena cut a swathe through the Zin on their ship, Playa and Johnny found a pair of murderbot miniguns to spray lasers at any Zin that the madmare might have missed.

“These Zin sure do make a good argument for murdering them,” Johnny commented.

“I hope you have the perfect way to make Zinyak suffer, Pinkamena,” Playa said.

“Oh I do, I discussed it with Moondancer and she’s in the middle of building the program as we speak. The rest will come as a surprise.”

The trio soon found a large, red, and glowing cylinder in a circular room. Pinkamena and Johnny cleared the room while Playa planted a bomb near it. Searching a little more, they found a terminal that looked important so the Saints leader planted the other bomb near that.

What none of them counted on was that the bombs had a shorter detonation time than they thought which began a mad sprint back to their ship before the Zin ship blew up. The run wasn’t far and they made it back with plenty of time to spare, despite Playa having fun with a Zin in the airlock tunnel.

Once everyone was back onboard, the Saints flew the ship back to safety.

Playa expressed his frustration about someone on his crew betraying him. Most of the Saints believed that Asha and Matt betrayed them, but Johnny found proof that they were innocent as he opened a closet door to see the MI6 duo fall to the floor.

It was then that Playa realized that there could only be one person who could have pulled off the feat since Asha and Matt were found unconscious in the closet.

“Keith David is a dead man.”

Kinzie's Wrath

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“We’re not killing Keith David,” Pinkie declared.

“Is this another of those scripted things where we spare him because he’s still useful to us, or because we kill him later?” Pinkamena asked.

“Well, yes and no...Yes that this is a scripted thing where we get vital info on where Kinzie is but he’s not very useful after that but he will return to us in the end.”

“Ugh...I hate plot twists when they require me to do things I don’t like. Can I at least punch him in the balls?”

“Won’t affect the plot so that’s allowed.”

“Alright, so let’s find out why our errant Vice President tried to sell us out to Zinyak.”

In the chair room, the Saints were discussing their next move.

“As much as I’d like to get back at Keith David for betraying us, knocking me out and throwing me into a closet with Asha, well the last part I didn’t mind, we need to focus on finding where Kinzie is in the simulation.” Matt suggested.

Everyone briefly looked at Kinzie’s body which was still in one of the chairs tied to the simulation. With her consciousness locked away in one of Zinyak’s nightmare simulations, the Saints were unable to go through with Ben’s plan. Everyone knew that the hacker needed to be rescued before they could execute Ben’s plan.

“Can’t Moondancer find her or something?” Limestone asked.

“It’s not that easy, there are countless smaller simulations going on simultaneously that locating her’s would require hours or days of searching, time we don’t have if we want to execute the plan before Zinyak catches on,” Moondancer replied. “If we knew her greatest fear that would narrow the search but we don’t even know that.”

“So what do we do? Sit on our asses and wait for something convenient to fall in our laps?” Pierce asked.

A system message suddenly appeared on the terminal. The beeping sound that indicated the message alerted the Saints to it. Matt opened the notification and read it out loud. “You are cordially invited to the swearing in of Super President for Life Keith David today at the Federal Building. Attendance is mandatory. Have a nice day.”

Pinkamena smirked as she saw Pierce’s jaw hanging open. She pushed it shut with a hoof. “Good job Pierce, keep working on those plot invoking skills.”

“That still doesn’t tell us where Kinzie is,” Playa said.

“Maybe, but perhaps Keith might know where she is since he seemed to buddy up with Zinyak pretty fast.”

“We’ll see. Me and Pinkamena will head into the simulation to deal with Keith David. He better have a damn good reason for pulling this bullshit or he’s gonna find out firsthand what happened to Julius.”

With that, Playa and Pinkamena boarded a chair each and closed their eyes as their minds returned to Virtual Steelport.

It didn’t take them long to reach the front of the building where Keith was giving his rally. Keith hadn’t noticed them yet so they decided to listen for a minute before moving in.

The banner above Keith displayed more of Zinyak’s propaganda that demanded total obedience from the populace.

Keith was wearing a dark gray outfit with black gloves and a white turtleneck shirt with a light gray cape that extended up past the back of his neck.

“My fellow Americans. I know first hand what this war with the Zin has cost us. How many more need to die before we realize that the time has come for us to put aside our pride and focus not on division but unity? Does Zinyak have a strong personality? Absolutely, but then again, so did the previous President. And you know what? When I look at the two of them I see more similarities than differences. Both have proven leadership experience. Both maintain their composure in high pressure situations. Both have a love of Jane Austen. But most importantly both of them will not stop until they get what they want. For this war to end, we need to stop rattling sabers and realize that victory doesn’t come from annihilating an enemy, but by making an enemy your friend.” The crowd roared in cheer. “All of us are heroes in our own stories...the time has come for us to grow up and have perspective. Earth will have its salvation, but it will come on the back of humility, not violence.” Another cheer.

Pinkamena and Playa made it to the front of the crowd to confront. Playa was the first to speak, “Cute speech, where’s the part where you talk about selling out humanity?”

“Humanity? Do you mean the nine of us? Earth is gone because you provoked a madman.”

Pinkamena guffawed, “Provoked? Please, Zinyak was probably going to do that anyway. He’s not the type to give mercy at anyone unless he gained something valuable from it. What does he gain by sparing the lives of a race he believes are beneath him? Followers? He has an entire empire at his beck and call. Resources? That can be mined from the dead husk of Earth. Labor? That would require tons of time and resources that would be wasted teaching billions of people how to use Zin technology, knowledge that could potentially be used against Zinyak. In the end, to him, humanity was nothing but a hive of insects that Zinyak decided to burn because he could.”

“You don’t get it. Zinyak said he can restore Earth...all I have to do is kill you two.”

Pinkamena laughed even harder. Keith grew more agitated from the madmare’s mocking laughter. Once she was able to speak again, she explained where he was wrong. “Aww...how cute, the backstabbing Vice President thinks the Zin are magical people. You honestly think one of the most arrogant beings in the universe would consider researching methods to restore planets when there’s nothing to gain from that? I said it before, Zinyak sees humanity as a bunch of insects for him to squish because he can. They offer nothing to him that he doesn’t have already. Even if he did have the technology to restore planets, which I doubt, he wouldn’t waste resources bringing it back. You have no real value to him but as entertainment as you act on what he told you. You’re nothing but a puppet to him, a glorified mouthpiece.”

“Maybe, but if he can do it and he’s willing, then I have to take that one in a billion chance that you’re wrong. Too many lives are at stake for me to afford not to take his offer.” Keith walked back into the building.

The crowd started becoming hostile. Playa ended the crowd using a Freeze Blast and a Stomp combo to shatter them while Pinkamena went inside the building after Keith. She quickly encountered another of those spherical attack robots that she found out were called Marauders. The machine’s rotation speed was outmatched by Pinkamena’s speed as she smashed the back of the Marauder’s head with her Knightmare and destroyed it.

Playa ran to Keith’s office while the madmare was procuring some more red paint for the office in the form of Zin corpses. Once she finished she headed toward the office before she heard the sound of someone getting beat up before Playa pleaded to Keith.

What happened next came as a surprise to the madmare as the sudden turnaround of the Vice President was never considered. Keith took a pistol from one of the Zin and fired on the guards. “I know where they’re keeping Kinzie,” he said.

As Keith helped Playa to his feet, Zinyak appeared standing on a desk. “Tsk, tsk, tsk...Keith. We had a deal, my friend...Now what am I supposed to do with a naughty little boy like you? And you, Pinkamena, didn’t your parents ever teach you that it isn’t nice to eavesdrop on conversations?”

“I’ve always been a rebel, Zinyak. Not even my parents could keep me in line,” Pinkamena retorted as she entered the office.

“Hmph...Well, I will admit that the things you told Keith were quite true, I couldn’t restore the Earth even if I tried. I also see no value in humanity, but you Ponies are another story. I will find out how your magic works. With that, I will build an unstoppable army of magic-infused soldiers who will aid me in conquering the rest of the universe. Perhaps you could tell me and I might be able to use that magic to restore Earth.”

“Are you done with your pointless monologue? I think that’s your most effective weapon against me yet: putting me to sleep with your boring speeches.”

Zinyak frowned before he turned to Keith and pushed a button on his left wristband, “Enjoy your requiem.” Playa, Keith and Pinkamena disappeared in a flash of red light.

Pinkamena and Playa appeared in a run down alley in a run down area of who knew where. The first thing Playa noticed was that they were cut off from communications with those outside the simulation. The only thing the duo could figure from where they were was that they were likely in Keith’s nightmare simulation since it wasn’t either of theirs.

After some exploring, the duo came across Keith being pummeled by a tough looking man with a brown mullet and wearing a white t-shirt that said ‘Hot Rod’ and was wearing what Pinkamena initially thought was a skirt until Playa corrected her by calling it a kilt. The sound of bagpipes playing could be heard in the background.

“You’ve gotta snap out of it! Snap out of it!” the man shouted.

Keith punched him in the face before turning the both of them over with him on top. The fight became a simple struggle. “Look, you crazy mother!” Keith shouted.

Keith appeared to be in a panic while the man was trying to beat some sense into Keith. “I’m telling you, you dumb son of a bitch, I’m trying to save your life!”

Keith broke the struggle and leapt away, showing that he had powers. The man saw the Saint and Pony nearby. He walked up to the duo. “They have him bad! I’m Roddy by the way, Roddy Piper.

Portals suddenly opened up and Zin emerged from them. Pinkamena grabbed one and slammed him into a wall before she broke both legs of another with her hooves and caused him to fall to the ground before she snapped his neck. She jumped over another and grabbed him by the chin before using her rear hooves to buck him in the back and sever his spine.

“Whoa, nice moves. Hate to fight you in the ring,” Roddy complimented.

“What was that about anyway?” Pinkamena asked.

“He’s gone crazy. He thinks we’re all out to kill him.”

“I had considered that, but my sister wanted me to stick to the script. If he knows where Kinzie is, then it’s all the more important to save him.”

As the trio entered the building, Playa asked Roddy where they were. Roddy called the building a broadcast tower and that the satellite dish on top of the building was controlling Keith.

Once they reached the top of the tower, Pinkamena dealt with the Zin guarding the dish while Playa blasted the C.I.D.s projecting a shield around the dish. Once the dish was down, Pinkamena moved in and smashed the dish with her Knightmare.

“Did it work?” Playa asked.

“No. The brainwashing is too ingrained. I’ll have to beat it out of him,” Roddy answered. “If you want to know where your friend is, now’s the time.”

Playa interrogated Keith while Roddy was beating up the Vice President with his series of wrestling moves. Keith was unable to divulge Kinzie’s location before Roddy knocked him out.

Once Keith woke up shortly after, Roddy was already gone. A gateway opened up near them and Moondancer came through it. “You guys alright?” she asked.

“Yeah, let’s get out of here,” Pinkamena answered.

As they exited the gateway and into the main simulation, Playa stated that Keith had some unresolved issues and Keith was fully aware of them.

Keith later explained that Zinyak put him in a simulation that was a reenactment of a movie he starred in with Roddy back in ‘88.

Back in the real world, Keith wasn’t hard to rescue as that simply involved boarding a Zin ship and recovering him.

Once Keith was back with the Saints, and after Pinkamena lightly shoved a hoof into his groin for his stunt which left him hunched over for a few minutes, Keith told Matt about Zinyak telling his subordinates about a series of numbers that were connected to Kinzie’s location.

Pinkamena had an idea. “Playa, since you’re heading into Kinzie’s simulation, take Pinkie with you.”

“What? Why? She’s not a fighter.”

“I have a feeling that you’ll need her. You focus on keeping her protected. I’m serious about that last part though, you’ll share Zinyak’s fate if something happens to her.”

Playa felt a chill run down his spine as she made that threat.

Playa met with CID and Pinkie at the entrance to Kinzie’s warehouse. The party pony was bouncing around in excitement at the thought of being part of a real mission without her sister holding her hoof.

Matt transferred the Data to CID. “Data received,” she said. “Hm. Very interesting. It seems GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

“Ooh, is he singing?” Pinkie asked.

“I DON’T KNOW...I-I-I...OH HERE I GO!”

With that, CID raced off like a Saint with the Super Sprint ability. For a murderbot, CID was moving very fast. Playa and Pinkie were keeping up with the murderbot before she stopped in front of a wall and scanned it, revealing the image of a white rabbit.

“Reminds me of Angel,” Pinkie commented.

“If I had to guess, it looks like this sigil is connected to some sort of secret room,” Matt mused.

Playa and Pinkie touched the icon and a gateway opened up. Inside was an empty void with a platform composed of scattered blue square flooring. In the center was a device. When they approached, the device activated and revealed a holographic network of blue and white lines that looked like a complex web of neurons.

“What the fuck is all this?” Playa asked.

“A map of the simulation,” CID responded.

“So can you find Kinzie?”

“In theory, yes. The time consuming part will be identifying Kinzie’s brainwaves in a sea of other data.”

“Ooh, that one!” Pinkie pointed.

CID scanned where Pinkie was pointing and blinked. “Illogical.”

“Don’t fry a processor trying to figure her out,” Playa warned.

CID let the matter go and opened the way into Kinzie’s simulation.

Playa and Pinkie entered an infuriating reminder of Playa’s nightmare, an orderly rendition of 50s Steelport.

“*bleep* me,” Playa cursed.

“Nice place, hope they throw some good parties around here,” Pinkie said.

The duo quickly found Kinzie but when he told her to get up from tending her flowers, her response was strange, “If you want to speak with my husband, he’ll be home this afternoon.”

Pinkie raised an eyebrow, “Why are you talking like a stay at home stallion?”

“I can assure you that I am not a man but a woman as you can plainly see, nor am I a horse of any kind. Say, I’m afraid I don’t have much of a green thumb. Oh, can you help me get this bulb to sit right?”

Playa stomped on the flowers which made Pinkie cringe a little. “*bleep* the *bleep* flowers and let’s get out of here,” Playa yelled in irritation.

Kinzie started spasming. “What...what...what are you doing?” She suddenly started speaking normally, “Hurry! I’m being held captive by…” Kinzie suddenly disappeared.

Matt suggested that they were talking to a decoy and that there might be more around.

They found another Kinzie clone inside a police car. After Playa forced the car to crash, he punched the cops unconscious.

They saw Kinzie huddled by the curb before the real Kinzie told them to find her at City Hall.

On the way there, Matt gave an update, “Do you remember Cyrus Temple?”

“The meanie who tried to blow up Amareica...Oops, I mean America?” Pinkie asked.

“He’s in charge here.”

“Oh no! We gotta stop him before he tries to blow up the country again!”

“Pinkie, Cyrus is dead and America is already blown up along with the rest of Earth,” Playa stated.

“Not in Kinzie’s mind, he isn’t,” Matt said. “The Earth and America parts though are still very much true.”

The duo arrived at the City Hall where a younger-looking Cyrus was giving an election speech. Playa tried to get on the stage to punch Cyrus in the face only to be teleported into the crowd. After several failed attempts, Playa was open to suggestions. Matt suggested shutting Cyrus up by taking out some speaker boxes all over town.

Pinkie had other ideas.

While Playa was busy rewiring the speakers, Pinkie was decorating the entire park in party favors while getting a stereo ready for the party she was planning.

Playa walked away with a Dubstep Gun, courtesy of Vinyl. While rewiring the speakers, he also blasted some propaganda trucks with his musical weapon.

Once Pinkie started her own music, everyone at the rally started dancing, including Kinzie who danced off the platform.

Cyrus was furious about the music and jumped off the podium as well, pointing a gun at Pinkie. “This ends now you murderous pink psychopath!”

Cyrus was so focused on Pinkie that he failed to notice the Dubstep Gun right next to his head. A blast of music rattled Cyrus until he fell unconscious.

Playa walked up to Kinzie, “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

“Hey! You swore!” Matt noted.

Back in the real world, Kinzie had a furious look in her eyes as she glared at Playa, “You don’t tell anyone what you saw. Do you understand me?”

“Kinzie, it really wasn’t that b…”

“I said ANYONE!”

“Hey, you got it. Just saying, it was a cute poodle skirt…”

That was when Kinzie decked Playa onto the floor before she got on top of him and punched him furiously a few times in the face.

“Hit him again!” Pinkamena shouted.

Kinzie got up before she stomped him in the gut.

“And I thought I was grumpy,” Limestone mumbled.

While the Saints were working on getting Ben’s plan back on track, another incident occurred, one that Kinzie was personally invested in. Cyrus Temple had made his way into the main simulation and had started building an army to take the place over.

Kinzie wanted Temple taken out once and for all so she brought Pinkamena and Moondancer with her to see it done.

In the simulation, Kinzie, Pinkamena and Moondancer travel to the Sierra Point armory to deal with the paramilitary forces there. While Kinzie took a tank to blow things up, the ponies stayed on hoof where Moondancer started deleting the STAG vehicles with her Blast while Pinkamena impaled the simulated troopers with knives of varying sizes.

Moondancer was surrounded by troops at one point before she unleashed her Buff which caused the troops around her to obey her commands. Using the troops to spread her influence, it wasn’t long before she had her own little army.

In the center of the base, Cyrus Temple awaited. Temple used the knowledge of the simulation he gained from Kinzie to avoid being hurt too much by teleporting away and summoning more troops to his beck and call. Moondancer retaliated by stomping near the troops which caused them to glitch out. The glitches served her.

“How disgraceful,” Cyrus grumbled. “It’s embarrassing to see men heeding the call of a woman, let alone a mere animal.”

“It’s called reverse gender role where we come from, Cyrus,” Pinkamena said.

“Such a world should never exist! Talking ponies shouldn’t exist! Females were always born to serve the men of the universe!”

“Shut up you chauvinist!” Kinzie yelled.

“Make me.”

Cyrus summoned an entire squadron to fight the trio. While Moondancer could have easily dealt with the group, Kinzie had other ideas. The mares noticed Kinzie’s rising anger. The madmare‘s Pinkie Sense picked up an imminent large explosion so she ran to Moondancer. “Moonie! Shield! Now!”

Moondancer obeyed without question as she put up her strongest shield moments before Kinzie’s appearance changed into a sleek, form-fitting purple suit with a large hood over her head. A massive explosion followed, killing everyone around her who was not protected by a barrier.

Kinzie saw Cyrus’ body next to her so she jumped on it and started pounding his face repeatedly screaming that she will not be his slave while cursing him for ever existing.

After she had nothing left in her stores of fury, she got off the military leader’s corpse and fell on her back, laughing.

Pinkamena knew the feeling that Kinzie was feeling. She approached the laughing Saint. “Feels good doesn’t it, unleashing all that rage and frustration that you had bottled up over the years?”

Kinzie stopped laughing after a minute before speaking, “I haven’t felt this good in years.”

“Glad to hear it. Hey Matt, record the fight and put it on a storage device. Delete the footage from the main computer.”

“What? Why do you want the footage?” Kinzie asked.

“Something for me and Moondancer to get turned on to.”

“You want footage of me beating the shit out of Temple for your sexual pleasure?”

“Yep.”

“I’ll allow it on one condition, I get to watch the first time you two get intimate over watching it.”

“Deal!”

The Saints Row Hearth's Warming Special

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With Kinzie saved from Zinyak and Keith David now wary of a vengeful Pinkamena punching him in the groin again, Everything was in place to bring an end to the alien menace once and for all. Ben King’s plan to overload the simulation was still on and the madmare was eager to end the alien overlord.

Moondancer had completed the two programs that were made to Pinkamena’s specifications. She had intended to use one to help with Ben’s operation and the other was meant for Zinyak. Moondancer was sworn to secrecy about the programs until it was time to unleash them as she wanted them to be a surprise. The only clue to their purpose were the labels: “S3E3” and “S3E3A”.

The final preparations would be ready soon.

There was just one problem.

Pinkie was decorating the ship in Hearth’s Warming decorations. Tinsel was being hung from the ceiling and the cargo in the cargo hold was shoved aside for a Hearth Warming tree. No one questioned how the party mare had kept so many decorative lights in her mane.

The Saints used the term Christmas since that was the human parallel to the Equestrian holiday. Even if the two holidays were celebrated similarly, they were also fundamentally different.

Shaundi and Pierce were hanging stockings over the image of a fireplace on a monitor. Kinzie was inspecting the tree while Matt was assisting with the decorations.

“Boss, were you planning on helping?” Kinzie asked.

“Nope.”

“Come on, don’t be such a Grinch,” Shaundi said.

“What does that even mean?”

“What sort of childhood did you have?” Pierce asked, disappointed.

“I just think there are more important things to think about than some bullshit holiday.”

“At least try to have some holiday spirit, Playa.” Pinkamena said. “I might be a cruel, violent psychopath, but even I can get into the spirit of the season. At least your traditions were better than the ones my family had.”

“At least they were our’s, Mena,” Limestone growled.

“Right, traditions that involved depressing and foalhood ruining activities where you were lucky to have presents because they were often hidden too well that we never found them or they were simply never there. I do enjoy the rock soup though.”

“Please don’t fight you two,” Marble begged.

Pinkamena and Limestone looked away from each other and walked away.

“Whatever,” Playa grumbled. “At least your pony holiday is more believable than ours.”

“Someone never got on the Nice List,” Matt mumbled.

“There is no Nice List.”

“So Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Yule, Festivus? You don’t care about any of it?” Shaundi asked.

“What about Santa?” Kinzie asked.

“Fuck Santa,” Playa responded.

The ship started shaking and Kinzie was surprised that the proximity alarms didn’t go off.

Suddenly, a purple glowing dome appeared in the room. The light quickly disappeared to reveal another Shaundi. This one had all of her hair on the left side of her head with none on the right side. Her right arm was gone and replaced with a robotic arm. Her left eye was also replaced with cybernetics. She also had a pair of metallic rings on her forehead; one above the center and one above her right eye.

“Shaundi?” Pierce asked cautiously.

“Fuck me,” Shaundi groaned.

“We don’t have a lot of time. Clawz is coming.” The other Shaundi warned.

“What?” Playa asked in disbelief.

“Clawz. A warlord from my time, your future. By the time we learned about him it was too late, he was too powerful. The only chance we had to stop him was to send me back here to warn you.”

“A Shaundi from the future? When this is over, consider doing a rendition of A Christmas Carol with Present and Past Shaundi,” Pinkamena commented.

“I’ll consider it,” Future Shaundi said.

“Why didn’t you just go back further and warn us about Zinyak?” Playa put his hand on her shoulder.

Future Shaundi took his hand and slammed him against a crate. “You don’t get it. This isn’t about Earth. Come midnight, Christmas Day, Santa Clawz is coming to town and unless we stop him, he’s going to put the entire universe on the Naughty List. And trust me. You don’t. Want. To be. On. The Naughty List.”

“Sorry I asked.”

“I think I know who our Scrooge will be...” Pinkamena singsonged.

“So Santa is evil?” Matt asked with a sad tone.

“No, Zinyak’s had Santa trapped for decades, slowly but surely degrading his mind. If we don’t free him soon it’ll be too late, and he’ll never be Jolly Old Saint Nick again,” Future Shaundi warned.

“So we get to be part of a Hearth’s Warming Special?” Pinkie asked with glee. “Yippee!”

“This is so stupid…” Playa complained. That earned him a glare from everyone and everypony. “Alright, alright, we’ll save Santa.” Playa got in the chair.

“Since this is a time of family, I say me and my whole crew comes along to help you save Santa,” Pinkamena said before mumbling, “And help you get into the holiday spirit.”

Moondancer got into the chair and Pinkamena and her friends laid down around her. Pinkamena’s sisters were hesitant at first, but that changed when Pinkamena talked to them, “When I said ‘family’ that means you four too. Get over here.”

With that, Maud, Pinkie, Limestone and Marble gathered around the chair before Moondancer connected her consciousness with theirs. Playa and the Equestrians were directly sent into Santa’s simulation along with Future Shaundi.

The group found themselves in a part of a town that was decorated in Christmas apparel. Another thing that everyone noticed was that everyone but Future Shaundi was wearing a festive sweater. Playa complained about his attire.

“In Santa’s nightmare world, the Holiday Spirit doesn’t exist. So if you want to bring it back, you wear whatever it takes,” Shaundi countered.

Pinkamena checked her mane and found that her Knightmare was a festive hobby reindeer while her Vorpal Blade remained unchanged. It made sense, how else would one cut fruitcake?

Pinkie’s party cannon was also festively decorated. The party mare’s weapons were largely unchanged since they weren’t weapons technically but could be used as such if used improperly.

Octavia lacked her sniper rifle while her AT rifle was a snowball cannon. Vinyl’s Wubstep Gun had a festive track in it. Moondancer’s magic and Treehugger’s magic have remained unchanged. Gilda had no weapons but felt that her talons would work just as well.

Future Shaundi warned that real guns were not allowed in the simulation and that for those unarmed, they would have to find a shop to buy toy weapons to defend themselves. She also warned against the use of profanity.

Once they reached the store, the Equestrians were about to head inside and purchase a few Crimson Cowboy Carbine-action two-hundred shot range model air rifles but Playa had a different idea. He smashed the display window holding the rifles and took the toy weapons before throwing a few to Maud, Limestone, Marble and Pinkie.

“What have you done?!” Shaundi gasped.

“Something ‘naughty’. Not like that changes anything.”

“You have no idea what that causes. Look!” Shaundi pointed into the sky.

The sky suddenly darkened and a snowstorm started blowing through the town.

A malevolent voice was heard from above. A sleigh, powered by rockets, was flying past them. “Those who are naughty look to the sky, and see your doom with the naked eye. You willfully break the world’s laws. Now feel the wrath of the mighty Clawz! Come, try to stop me if you can. You cannot stop my gingerbread men.”

“Is Clawz a Zebra?” Pinkie asked.

The party pony suddenly saw the townspeople turning into hostile gingerbread people. With a gleeful smile and a lick of her drooling lips, she charged forward and started devouring the pastry people. “Tastiest enemies ever!” she yelled.

Playa looked at the party mare with a stunned expression. “Right, you go have your fill of gingerbread. I’m gonna go shoot the cunt.”

“Wait, Clawz is still too strong and you’ll shoot your eye out!” Shaundi warned.

The Equestrians who received rifles decided against using the rifles and opted to break the cookie people with their hooves or talons.

Playa soon saw the sleigh and tried firing at it only for the shots to ricochet and have one hit him in his right eye, “My eye!” he yelled.

“Maybe now you’ll heed Future Shaundi’s warnings?” Pinkamena asked rhetorically.

The group saw the real Santa collapsed nearby so Playa ran to him and helped him stand up as soon as the pain in his eye went away.

“I always warned children about the dangers of such toys,” Santa commented.

“Guess you missed one,” Pinkamena quipped.

Future Shaundi asked Santa why he looked thin instead of his jolly old self. Santa explained that the lack of Holiday Spirit caused by Clawz was the cause of his emaciated state. He suggested ringing the Holiday bells in the town park to bring back a little of the Holiday Spirit.

While Playa was going around ringing the bells and collecting presents that unlocked everyone’s powers, Future Shaundi was explaining to Santa that the war against Clawz made her harden her heart but Santa assured her that she was still the same little girl who loved Christmas on the inside and that she should expect a new hacky sack under her tree.

“And you, Pinkamena Diane Pie,” Santa continued. “I know you have done many naughty things since you came to Earth. But I also see a compassionate soul who will do what it takes to protect your friends and family from danger. I can see it in the way you protect your younger sister. You do not smother her so that you leave her with room to grow as an individual. You are as cruel as you are kind. You are loyal to your friends and treacherous to your enemies. I think I see a pepper grinder minigun in your future.”

Pinkamena was taken aback by Santa’s words. “Wow...Thanks Santa.”

Once the town bells started ringing, Santa mentioned a projector that Clawz hid in a frozen pool that played a Holiday classic movie and that restoring the projector should help bring in more Holiday Spirit.

Clawz sent more gingerbread troops to guard the projector but they were quickly devoured by Pinkie.

“My, she certainly has a healthy appetite,” Santa commented.

“If you ever get too full on cookies and milk, she can eat the rest,” Pinkamena quipped.

“”It’s true,” Pinkie said after swallowing her latest mouthful.

With the guards gone for the time being, Treehugger melted the frozen pool while Moondancer took the submerged projector in her Telekinesis before she glided with the others to the movie theater and placed the projector back in its intended spot. Vinyl turned the projector on which started playing the movie.

“The Holiday Spirit, it stings and burns. But that’s not enough for the tide to turn!” Clawz said as he approached the theater in his sleigh. Vinyl shorted out the vehicle with an Electrical Blast, causing it to crash.

The projector needed more power so CID set up an antenna at the town hall. With a storm brewing, a bolt of lightning would be all that would be needed to power it.

In order to conduct the electricity, CID had Playa put his tongue on the pole. He refused, even after CID dared him and Shaundi threw in a double dog dare. He displayed his middle finger to both of them. CID invoked a triple dog dare and Santa called him out. With the respect of his peers on the line, Playa had no choice but to lick the antenna. He started convulsing as soon as his tongue touched the antenna at the same time that lightning struck it.

The projector was now running at full power but there was something bothering Pinkamena, “You could have powered the projector with your power, why didn’t you?” she asked Vinyl.

“I was about to, but when CID mentioned Playa putting his tongue on an antenna, I decided to let that play out.” Vinyl and Pinkamena burst into laughter.

“Viuh, I hay yuh ho muh rai ow,” Playa said with a numb tongue.

“The Spirit’s alive, but still I live. Come face me now, there’s punishment to give!” Clawz declared.

Playa violently beat on Clawz but the evil Santa clone became empowered by Playa’s actions and used that little boost to escape.

“I had a feeling that wouldn’t work,” Pinkamena commented.

“You cannot defeat Clawz by doing naughty deeds for those are what he thrives on,” Santa said.

“If Clawz is going after the North Pole then we have to stop him,” Shaundi said.

“Indeed you are correct. We cannot leave Mary and the elves to face him alone.”

“I finally get to see it before it’s been destroyed.”

“Ho ho ho ho ho! And perhaps make sure it never is.”

Playa, Shaundi, Santa and the Equestrians soon found themselves in Santa’s Village at the North Pole.

“Reminds me of Ponyville, but more upscale,” Pinkamena commented on the scenery.

Looking around further, they could see that the scene was darker than at first glance. Marble hid behind Maud at the sight of Clawz’s troops roaming around.

“What happened here?” Playa asked.

“Clawz has taken over Santa’s workshop. He plans to deliver bombs and guns to children instead of, you know, dolls and trucks or whatever it is kids from your time like,” Shaundi answered.

“Shaundi, I’m pretty sure you didn’t erase your memories from the past. It shouldn’t be that hard to remember what Christmas was like before Clawz,” Pinkamena said.

“I was baked off my ass from high school until that dating show. Forgive me if there are holes in my memory,” Shaundi defended. “Anyway, the elves have mounted a resistance, but they will fail unless we help them. If Clawz succeeds, the holidays are doomed. We must stop him!”

“How’s Mrs. Claus?” Playa asked.

“I wouldn’t worry about her. If I know my wife, I bet she’s decking the halls as we speak,” Santa assured.

“Somehow, I have a feeling that you mean that in a more impressive way that you’re letting on,” Pinkamena suspected.

The group soon entered the courtyard and found the decorated pine tree lit in green fire while the severed heads of nine reindeer, spines and entrails hanging from their necks, were placed on pikes around the tree.

While Santa lamented the loss of his prized reindeer, Pinkamena had a feeling that if Fluttershy saw this gruesome display, the madmare would see a whole new side to the shy animal caretaker. Since she wasn’t here, Pinkamena could only imagine.

The gingerbread men were once again devoured by Pinkie, the party mare still not showing any signs of being full. Vinyl shorted out any nutcracker troops that were behaving like Zinyak’s murderbots with her electrical powers.

Determined to take back the workshop, Santa took one of Playa’s many weapons and started blasting Clawz’s troops.

An elf came out of hiding and greeted Santa. The elf turned out to be Tinsel, the leader of the resistance and Santa’s most loyal elf. Tinsel reported that Clawz brought Twinkle and the elves from shipping and receiving to his side. He also reported that Twinkle made a herd of mechanical reindeer.

The Saints headed to the front door to the workshop but found that Mary had put the place on lockdown. The door was barred by two thick sticks of candy canes. Playa began licking at the doors and while Pinkie wanted to join in, she was stopped by Pinkamena who shook her head and had her follow the group to the stables, leaving Playa behind to enjoy his treat.

While the Equestrians were at the stables, most of the group used their weapons that they regained after leaving Santa’s nightmare to destroy or devour gingerbread troops and nutcrackers. Pinkamena and Maud focused on destroying the mechanical reindeer by smashing them with Knightmare and bare hooves respectively.

Twinkle and his crew soon showed themselves to engage the group. When asked about the betrayal, the head elf showed his true colors by revealing his greed when he accepted Clawz’s offer. Clawz turned the crew into human-sized elves which only made them bigger targets. It meant nothing when Gilda created a singularity between the elves which sucked the entire crew and Twinkle in before a Blast from Moondancer deleted the entire group.

Inside the shipping and receiving building, the group found a way inside the workshop through a package conveyor belt. With enemies cleared from the building, each pony, griffon or person put an empty box over themselves and entered the conveyor belt.

Santa had Shaundi stay behind in case something happened to him. The futuristic Saint protested at first but soon acquiesced to Santa’s request.

Mary Claus was soon found with the resistance dealing with Clawz’s forces. Santa was glad that she was alive and kicking, literally. She stuck her boot into a gingerbread before she grabbed its head and ripped it off. “Glad to see you made it back honey, and I see you brought the Candidate with you.”

“Candidate?” Pinkamena asked.

“Now now dear, she doesn’t need to know about that yet. With Earth gone, ‘He’ will make his move soon. She can decide when that crisis is averted,” Santa said mysteriously.

“What are you two talking about?”

“You’ll know soon enough dear. For now, you need to focus on Zinyak,” Mary answered. “By the way, would you be a dear and give this place a nice fresh coat of red paint?”

Pinkamena shrugged before she pulled out her Vorpal Blade and dismembered the human-sized elves. Pinkie devoured the cookie men and Vinyl disabled the nutcrackers.

“Is the North Pole safe dear?” Santa asked.

“You know it, hon. But this fight is far from over,” Mary responded. She then unlocked the front door with the workshop secured.

Playa stumbled inside. “I did it! I finally licked through the door!”

Mary blinked and stared at the Saint leader. “Did he just try to lick through two bars of peppermint candy canes that were eight inches in diameter?”

“He certainly is persistent when he wants to be,” Pinkamena said with a raised eyebrow.

“Ho ho ho ho, I believe he should receive his present early for the effort he went through, don’t you think dear?”

Playa was directed to his gift, a Dubstep Gun with a Christmas-themed track in it. Vinyl pulled out a Hearth’s Warming themed track for her Wubstep Gun.

Right as the group loaded their weapons, Clawz showed up with reinforcements. However, he was quickly overwhelmed by the Saints and Equestrians. He quickly retreated to another simulation to recover while the group took Santa’s modified sleigh and went after Clawz.

It took some travel time but the Saints soon arrived back in the main simulation and Clawz had already set up shop in Steelport. He was protected by a shield while gathering what strength he could for one final confrontation.

Future Shaundi wanted Playa to deliver holiday cheer to the people of Steelport by delivering presents to people on the Nice List and punish the naughty with coal.

Playa flew the sleigh to different parts of Steelport delivering presents and coal to the correct houses. Once that was done, Clawz’s shield started to weaken. The evil Santa shot down the sleigh while everyone evacuated the vehicle and landed next to Clawz.

More needed to be done to weaken Clawz. Mary suggested lighting the various symbols of the holidays. Treehugger lit the Kwanzaa Kinara and the Hanukkah Menorah while Playa stomped the ground near a Festivus pole which led to the Saints and Ponies airing out their grievances.

Santa complained about Mary’s “diet” cookies, Kinzie complained about everyone taking her for granted. Playa countered that she was the owner of the spaceship. Pierce actually had nothing to complain about.

“I am sick and tired of Vinyl slacking off when I have to do all of the housework,” Octavia complained.

“That’s fair,” Vinyl said. “I’m actually tired of club goers telling me what tracks to play. I have my own style and I would appreciate it if Ponies would stop telling me what to play.”

“I got nothing,” Treehugger said.

“Well I’d rather my people stop acting like a bunch of stupid dweebs and work on getting our nation out of the pit they dug themselves into,” Gilda complained.

“I know three ponies back in Canterlot who I would appreciate if they stop pitying me and try to get to know me better. I would also like an apology for snubbing me at my birthday party from Twilight if she can find it in herself to get her muzzle out of her book for once in her life,” Moondancer complained.

“I’d like for our parents to stop trying to control me and my sisters by getting one of us to run the rock farm. None of us want to live there anymore,” Limestone complained.

“Umm...It would be nice if other ponies, my parents and sisters included, would take the time to listen to what I have to say.” Marble complained. “While I don’t want to run the rock farm I do want to run a gardening supplies store one day.”

“Wow...I didn’t know you felt that way. I’m sorry we never took the time to ask you for what you wanted,” Limestone apologized. The other Pies followed suit. Marble smiled.

Maud took out a pebble from her pocket. “Everypony thinks I’m weird for thinking of Boulder as a pet. I’d appreciate it if ponies would stop giving me weird looks because of my interest.” She put her pebble back into her pocket.

“I’d like for Twilight to take my Pinkie Sense seriously. Just because she can’t explain it doesn’t mean she can keep doubting it. Science can’t explain everything, Twilight!” Pinkie complained.

Finally, it was Pinkamena’s turn. “I’d like for the Clauses to not be so mysterious about things that might be important in the future.”

Santa tried to explain, “I’m truly sorry Pinkamena, but you have more important things to think about right now than worry about the future. “Let’s just say that in the near future, provided you stop a great evil, you may be given an offer to fill an important role that has remained vacant since the beginning.”

“And that is?”

“Erm...we need to finish delivering the presents before Clawz becomes too powerful.”

Pinkamena deadpanned at the living symbol of Christmas for the obvious dodge but let it lie for now.

Using Telekinesis and Kinzie’s generosity, the Saints delivered presents to the nearby people who were observing the fight against Clawz. The cheerful people were happily celebrating around Clawz who lost his shield and turned the people around him into puddles of blood.

Clawz was still invincible so the Saints had to use another tactic, caring and sharing. The Saints gave something of themselves to Clawz. From Kinzie, a laptop and a bondage harness. From Mary, new bakeware and a flamethrower. From Future Shaundi, a brand new bio-engineered arm.

One more gift was needed to weaken Clawz to be killable. From Pinkamena, an Xbox 360, a copy of “Alice: Madness Returns”, and an engraved knife set.

Once that was delivered, Playa grabbed Clawz, leapt into the air and threw Clawz down onto the star of a large Christmas tree, impaling and killing him.

Once it was over, Santa told Playa that he can’t murder his way onto the Nice List, but there was still time for him to make amends by spending the rest of Christmas Eve embracing the spirit of the holiday.

And so, the Saints and Equestrians spent the evening having fun with snowball fights, caroling, gift giving, and showing everyone and everypony their caring side.

Pinkamena looked at Maud, Marble and Limestone, “See girls, this is what Hearth’s Warming should be like.”

“I agree,” Marble said.

Maud nodded.

“I’ll admit, it’s not bad,” Limestone said reluctantly.

“I know, let’s all get together like this every year as a family,” Pinkie shouted.

“I can do that as long as we can steer clear of family drama,” Pinkamena agreed.

Maud smiled, “We sisters will stand up for each other, right?” The other Pie sisters nodded or spoke in agreement.

“Alright everypony, let’s bring down Zinyak before the end of the year,” Pinkamena declared.

Santa found himself naked and covered in goo. While trying to find out where he was and what was going on, he was greeted by a strange figure.

“Santa! It’s been decades since you were last seen. You missed the last meeting, it was so boring that I had to add a little chaos to it.”

“Discord? What are you doing here? Umm...you wouldn’t happen to have an extra set of clothes, would you?”

Discord snapped his talon and Santa was cleaned up and wearing his suit. “As for why I’m here, I have a proposal for you. Since Earth was destroyed, perhaps you would like to set up shop on another world? Of course your wife and your elves would join you too.”

“That sounds tempting, but what does your world gain from my presence?”

“I get to see the chaos that unfolds when Hearth’s Warming receives some changes. Plus, ol’ Sunbutt needs a figure of wisdom to show her when she’s being self-righteous so she doesn’t do something she will regret later.”

“Ah, Celestia, if only she had talked things out with her sister before things festered like they did. Though you weren’t the nicest deity yourself back then either, though I have noticed that you have gotten better in recent years. Thanks to a certain mare I would think.” Santa winked. Discord frowned and looked away with a blush. “Very well, I accept your proposal.”

His jovial mood ruined by embarrassment, Discord said nothing as he snapped his paw and both disappeared.

Punishment Time!

View Online

At last, the time had come to bring an end to the war against the Zin empire. Pinkie had assured Pinkamena that there would be no more distractions from the finale.

Pinkamena recounted the numerous things that Zinyak had done to deserve the fate that she had in store for him. He invaded countless worlds in his bid for universal conquest. He attacked Earth and the Saints unprovoked which wasn’t anything new with the gang’s history. He blew up Earth because he could. He placed her and her friends in simulations that acted on their worst nightmares. He declared his intent to be a threat to Equus. He had been a thorn in their flanks throughout their whole campaign.

Most unforgivable of all, Zinyak got her family involved. Pinkamena would see to it that Zinyak never found peace.

The time had come to put Benjamin King’s plan into action, and it would all begin with the construction of a key.

Kinzie was very thorough in removing any and all Zin technology that Zinyak could have used to listen in on the Saints so she was reasonably sure that they could conduct their plan in privacy.

“Okay, what’s the plan?” Pinkamena asked Kinzie.

“If I can hack directly into the main system, then I can bring down the walls between simulations and force Zinyak to divert an enormous amount of resources to keep it from crashing all together. He won’t be able to stop it. But for now what I need is parts. For a key.”

“And this key will give you direct access to the entire simulation once used?”

“Yup, once I get the parts and the key made, we can take the fight to Zinyak’s throne room once the simulation crashes. Take Gat and someone from your crew.”

“I’ll take Vinyl, she’ll have the easiest time identifying the parts.”

“Okay, the main parts I’ll need to assemble the key are the central processing unit, memory modules and gravity inhibitors. I’ve located a CPU at the old Steelport Guard Armory. While you get that, I’ll look around for the other stuff.”

Pinkamena, Johnny and Vinyl headed into the simulation before they headed for the armory.

Pinkamena noticed that the moon was no longer in the sky. The sky itself appeared as if dawn was approaching.

At the armory, Kinzie instructed the trio to check the crates for the CPU by using their telekinesis to rip the doors off.

“I thought you knew where it was?” Johnny asked.

“I do. IN ONE OF THE CRATES AROUND THE ARMORY.” Kinzie said with irritation.

“Okay, okay, no need to get touchy.”

While Johnny was fighting off guards, Pinkamena and Vinyl ripped open crates with their Telekinesis. Vinyl eventually found one in one of the crates that she opened. “Found one,” she declared.

Vinyl picked the CPU up off the floor of the crate with her simulation-granted telekinesis and not her personal telekinesis, being careful not to expose the unit to electricity or magic. She gave the unit to Pinkamena who stored it in her mane.

“Good, head to the nearest tower. That’s where the memory modules are,” Kinzie ordered.

Johnny decided to hang back and steal an assault helicopter while the mares raced for the tower.

At the tower, Kinzie directed the mares to the floating platforms around the tower where the Zin set up a number of generators. The hacker wanted the generators broken so they could take the parts. Johnny, of all people, voiced his concern over breaking the generators damaging the modules.

“It’s a simulation!” Kinzie stated as if Johnny was spouting nonsense.

Pinkamena shrugged and started smashing the generators with her Knightmare. Strangely enough, the modules survived the madmare’s vicious assault. Vinyl picked up the modules from the remains of the generators and placed them into Pinkamena’s mane.

“Okay, the gravity inhibitors are at the dock, though it looks like they’re trying to put a force field up around the area. Get moving fast before they block you out.”

The two mares quickly glided to the docks to find the devices that Kinzie was looking for.

They arrived with time to spare so Pinkamena went on a killing spree while Vinyl dealt with the generators at the docks.

The DJ never found gravity inhibitors in the previous generators and figured that they never needed them. Vinyl had to ask, “Why didn’t we come to the docks in the first place? If these generators had memory modules and gravity inhibitors, then why did we bother attacking the tower in the first place?”

“I’ll...get back to you on that one.”

Pinkamena and Vinyl snickered while finishing off the area.

Johnny suddenly reported that his chopper was on fire so he decided to bail out. He glided down near the mares and landed just before the helicopter crashed.

“Any landin’ you walk away from…” Johnny said.

Kinzie got to work on the key once the parts were delivered. “Thanks for the parts, now I need a power source to make it work and we’ll be set for the big operation.”

“What do you have in mind?” Pinkamena asked.

“CID and the boss will assist with this part.”

Johnny and Vinyl shrugged and returned to the ship. CID and Playa showed up shortly after.

CID briefed Playa and Pinkamena, “I have found a compatible power source for the Key; predictably, it is controlled by the Zin. Interference from these cells make it impossible for me to pinpoint the exact locations, but I should be able to determine the general areas of the three we need. I have marked the general location for the first cell.”

The group raced for the area of the first cell. It didn’t take long since the cell was located in one of the few areas left in the city with a red glow.

The guard presence was minor so there was no issue with obtaining the first cell. “Easiest mission ever,” Playa said.

“I’m going to kick your ass later,” Pinkamena declared.

“For what?”

“Invoking Chekhov's Gun,”

“Fuck me…”

The first cell was obtained with no problems. Once the cell was safely in her mane, the trio headed for the second cell which was under the effects of a pair of shield generators.

“You just had to jinx us.,” Pinkamena gloated.

“How is this my fault? They would have set them up regardless,” Playa defended.

“Now we’ll never know because they’re increasing security around the cell.”

As it turned out, only one of the shield generators was active so the task wasn’t much more difficult than the last cell.

The next cell was a bit more complicated as the Zin were ready with active shield generators. While Pinkamena and CID easily dealt with the guards while Playa ripped the wires out of the generators, one of the Zin was smart enough to blow up the cell before he expired.

“Playa, next time you wanna pull a Pierce, don’t,” Pinkamena warned.

“Hey!” Pierce said over the comms.

“There is one more cell not far from here,” CID indicated.

It didn’t take the trio long to reach the last cell.

“The second final power cell is in this area, and I am reading a large amount of energy output around it,” CID informed.

“I’m guessing that’s not good,” Playa figured.

“Given that our current predicament is a result of your big mouth, I would guess you are correct.”

A large number of shield generators were placed around the power cell.

“CID, why is everything a target?” Playa asked.

“Because you are cursed. But seriously, only a couple seem to actually be generating the force field. The rest should be easily destructible decoys.”

“I’m just gonna smash everything,” Pinkamena declared. She pulled out her Knightmare and started smashing while Playa and CID provided backup by bombarding the Zin troops and murderbots with lasers and powers.

Once the shield was down, a tank was revealed.

“Where’s the battery?” Playa asked.

“Integrated into the tank I believe. The properties of the power cell should increase the speed, destruction and durability of the vehicle,” CID informed.

“Nice…”

“However, the increase in power will also overload the tank and cause it to explode in a few minutes. If you get to Kinzie’s warehouse in time, she can set up a field which will stabilize the energy output.”

“Well, at least I get to blow stuff up on the way there.”

“How about a deal, Playa,” Pinkamena offered. “If you let me carry the tank back to the warehouse, I won’t kick your ass for invoking Chekhov’s Gun. If you still want to drive it, you get to have your fun and so do I.”

Playa cringed at the thought of the madmare beating his ass up and down the ship. If there was one opponent he really didn’t want to have to fight it was Pinkamena. He had seen her in action many times over the years and a fight with her was just asking for broken bones.

With a pout, Playa said his farewells to the best tank ever as Pinkamena lifted it and leapt away toward the warehouse.

It was time for the final push.

Kinzie reported that she had just finished with the key and it was now ready for transport.

Before that, Playa had the entire crew gathered for one final speech. Everyone knew that he was going to use the same one he’d always used but let him say it anyway.

“I know you heard this speech a bunch of times…”

“Heard it? Bitch, I wrote it,” Ben added.

“But we need to remember why we do what we do. And today the stakes are even higher. Earth is gone. It’s not coming back and nothing we do today is going to change that. But one thing we can do is get revenge. And you better believe we’re showing this motherfucker humanity isn’t dead because we’re still alive. This isn’t about hope, of faith, or even about winning. Those things died on Earth. This is about will. This is about saying I don’t give a shit how many times you knock me down, if I’m still breathing I’m standing back up, and ya know what? You can hit as hard as you want ‘cause when I hit back I’m gonna lay your ass out, bitch! It’s our time now, let’s get this shit started.”

“About time, Zinyak’s punishment is long overdue,” Pinkamena said.

“Once we begin, it’s all or nothing. We get to Zinyak or we all die,” Kinzie informed. “Three teams of Saints will accompany the boss with at least two Equestrians providing support. The first team will help get the Key into the mainframe. The second will help overload the simulation. The final team will infiltrate the mothership and get to Zinyak. Now pick the teams.”

“Matt and Asha will escort the Key, Pierce and Shaundi will help overload the place and Johnny and Ben will come with me to the mothership,” Playa decided.

“Gilda and Vinyl will help team one. Moondancer and Treehugger will help team two. Octavia will be with me,” Pinkamena decided.

“Are you sure? Kinzie asked.

“Yes, Gilda and Vinyl are good defenders and Vinyl can help move the Key if necessary. I need Moondancer on overload duty to load S3E3 into the simulation. Setting fire to the place should put a lot of strain on the simulation as well. Octavia is a skilled assassin and I trust her abilities.”

Once the teams were picked, Playa, Asha and Matt entered the simulation while Moondancer helped Gilda and Vinyl into the simulation.

Asha began the first briefing, “According to Kinzie’s intel the Key needs to be taken to the old Syndicate Tower. The entrance to the System is in the loading dock. We will be driving the truck while you keep the Zin off us. After entering, CID will be in charge of driving the Key into the main computer hub, which will cause the simulation to begin destabilizing.”

“The Key’s loaded up. Climb on and make sure it doesn’t get destroyed,” Kinzie ordered.

Playa and Vinyl climbed on the bed of the truck while Gilda took to the air. Playa signalled that they were ready to begin and Asha stepped on the accelerator.

While this was happening, hordes of Zin appeared and began firing on the truck. Playa used an alien RPG while Vinyl used her Wubstep Gun to deal with pursuers while Gilda created singularities to crush blockades, taking care not to get the MI6 duo sucked in.

It wasn’t until they passed the second blockade that the mission became a little more complicated.

“Oh, I’m sorry, but this highway wasn’t clear for heavy loads. Ha ha ha ha…” Zinyak said.

With that. The truck was deleted, leaving the Key floating in midair.

“What the hell?!” the Saints shouted.

“What the Tartarus?!” the Equestrians shouted.

Playa grabbed the Key in his telekinesis and raced for Syndicate Tower with Asha, Matt, Gilda and Vinyl close behind.

Once the Key was brought to the entrance, the Saints discovered that the entrance was closed with a shield.

“I believe I can hack through the shield,” CID declared.

“Defensive positions everyone, buy CID enough time,” Playa ordered.

It didn’t take long for CID to disable the shield. Once down, Playa, CID, Vinyl, and Gilda headed into the rift inside the main hub while Matt and Asha guarded the entrance.

Once inside the rift, the Key unfolded into a much larger device. “I will harness the system’s energy to fuel the power cells on the Key,” CID said.

It was quickly discovered that the Key wasn’t moving. When asked, CID suggested that opening nearby breakers would increase the power. Playa, Vinyl and Gilda each went to a Breaker where they stomped to activate them after they found that the breakers were not responding well to simple activation attempts.

Vinyl, Gilda and Playa dealt with each of the Zin’s attempts to stop or slow the Key, even destroying force field generators that Playa questioned why the generators didn’t protect themselves. CID called that crazy talk.

The Key soon reached its destination, a spherical structure with a circular hole in the center and five smaller circles around it with six points each. “I am coming for you, Zinyak. Today your simulations come to an end and only I will remain,” CID declared.

“You’ve been waiting a long time to make that statement, huh?” Vinyl asked.

“Our victory here made saying that worthwhile.”

“How about we focus on getting our flanks outta here before we get stuck in this hole,” Gilda demanded with a tone of urgency.

“That would be a good idea,” CID agreed.

Vinyl and Gilda returned to the ship just as the entire simulation started to glitch out.

“Remember, Steelport’s breaking down inside the simulation right now. I will open portals into Pierce’s and Shaundi’s personal nightmares. But don’t worry, whatever comes though will be on your side,” Kinzie informed.

Treehugger and Moondancer traded places with Vinyl and Gilda while Pierce and Shaundi went into the decaying simulation.

For some reason, the group of five composed of Playa, Pierce, Shaundi, Treehugger and Moondancer were slowly walking down a street as if they were doing a promotion for something.

Once the simulation started for real, Kinzie directed the group to the first portal on a floating platform.

When Pinkamena looked at the simulated sky from Kinzie’s computer, the sky looked like morning had come at last.

On the platform, the group attacked the Zin troops that were trying to prevent Kinzie’s portal from stabilizing. Moondancer deleted the troops on the platform while Treehugger hurled giant fireballs at the ships, clearing the area.

“Got it. You guys should start seeing…” Kinzie said as the first portal opened.

“Saints Flow? Dammit, not again!” Pierce complained. Saints Flow mascots flooded into the simulation from Kinzie’s portal.

“Yeah, but in overcoming the nightmare they’re now on your side,” Kinzie assured.

Pierce stayed behind because the mascots were his problem and someone needed to stay behind to guard the portal.

The rest raced to the second portal’s position. However, Moondancer had additional instructions for her partner in crime.

“Treehugger, while we’re opening these portals, cause as much havoc as possible. Burn this city to the ground if you have to.”

Treehugger nodded before she started setting fire to everything she could see, except her friends.

On the second platform, the process was the same as before. Once the second portal opened, Sons of Samedi emerged from the portal. Shaundi stayed behind while Playa and Moondancer headed to the last portal.

“It’s working! The whole system is working overtime just to keep from falling apart,” Kinzie said happily.

“Kinzie, this better not open a portal to that old timey Steelport,” Playa warned.

“What? Oh god no! You think I’d want to see that place any more than you would?”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t mind remembering that…”

“Finish that last sentence and you’ll be missing a few limbs when you wake up. Besides, Moondancer is opening this one.”

“Do we even know what that program she made is?”

“Nope, but if it puts the final nail to the coffin of this simulation, I don’t care.”

Once at the last portal location, Moondancer went to work on the portal. She opened the portal quickly.

That was when madness itself invaded the simulation. It was a madness that could have been declared a war crime. It was a madness that shouted the same word over and over again…

“FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN! FUN!...”

The simulation was invaded by an endless flow of Pinkie Pies. Playa and Moondancer leapt away as an endless tide of pink party ponies flooded into the simulation. The pink tide started covering every part of the simulation as the ponies spread all over.

“Moondancer! Boss! The simulation is collapsing faster than anticipated! Get out of there now!” Kinzie yelled.

Moondancer quickly disconnected her subconscious from the simulation and returned to the real world, leaving Playa to find a gateway in a panicked rush to not get trapped in the simulation forever.

It took a few tries but Playa barely managed to escape.

Once Playa emerged from his chair, Kinzie steered the ship toward the Zin mothership.

Once she found a safe drop-off point, she let Playa, Johnny, Ben, Octavia and Pinkamena disembark.

“Good luck BPSBFF!” Pinkie shouted.

“What does that mean?” Johnny asked.

“Knowing her, Big Pie Sister Best Friend Forever,” Pinkamena said.

“Right, anyway, let’s kill some aliens.”

“To get to Zinyak’s throne room you’ll need a space suit and some weapons for destroying the ship’s outer defenses. The schematics show an armory not too far in. Head there and see what you can find,” Kinzie instructed.

Pinkamena took the time to get zealous with her killing and went on a rampage, slicing and dicing everything that moved in front of her. Octavia provided support by shooting the heads of everyone that Pinkamena missed.

It wasn’t long before the group reached the armory door. Since Kinzie couldn’t open the door, Johnny took the simple approach and shot the door’s terminal, opening it.

Pinkamena and Playa ran inside to find something like a suit.

What they found was even better.

“This is the best surprise ever…” Playa said in awe. Pinkamena’s psychotic smile was wider than ever.

“It’s a robot, isn’t it…” Kinzie guessed, disappointed.

“We found ourselves some power armor,”

“No. Way.”

“Hmm…” Pinkamena mused, wondering how she was going to get some power armor of her own.

Pinkie tapped Pinkamena’s withers. The madmare looked back at the party mare, not surprised in the least that she was there. Pinkie pointed toward a conveniently placed suit of pony-shaped power armor.

When Pinkamena looked back at Pinkie again, the mare was gone. The madmare shrugged.

Playa put on his armor first, followed by Pinkamena.

Pinkamena’s armor was customized by her. The armor covered her whole body except for her mane and tail. The right side was all white and her mane covered the right side of her face. The left side was all black and the eye on that side looked like a red glowing claw There was also a wide, sinister grin on the black side.

“Interesting look, Mena,” Playa commented.

“This is the face I want to use when I deliver his punishment.”

Playa and Pinkamena dove out the airlock and downward through a long passageway.

The duo dodged a laser defense grid before a pair of blast doors closed on them. Pinkamena was not having that so she invoked the full might of her family’s technique combined with her Stomp ability and the terminal velocity she was moving at and unleashed her full might upon the blast door.

The attack worked and the blast doors were knocked away. Pinkamena held her hoof as the attack didn’t come without recoil.

From then, the dive through the tunnel was met with debris from the ship falling apart. The two angled themselves to fall into the passage to their left in front of them.

“You can come for me, but you don’t stand a chance,” Zinyak taunted.

“I hope you like the punishment that I set up for you, Zinyak. I suggest enjoying your final moments. An eternity of pain and agony awaits you!”

“You make it sound like you’ve already won.”

“If there’s one common theme that leads to the downfall of villains, its hubris. And you have fallen into the same pitfall as them.”

“We shall see.”

Playa and Pinkamena entered the duct that would take them to Zinyak’s throne room.

Playa and Pinkamena landed before Zinyak in dramatic fashion.

Zinyak was enjoying a drink from a goblet when he looked up at the duo. “Quite the entrance.”

“I figured you had a flair for the dramatic,” Playa quipped.

“Oh, you know me so well.”

“I’m really going to miss these bonding experiences. As much as I would love to kill you, and I really want to kill you, I’m afraid that I have to give the honors to our mutual friend, Pinkamena.”

Pinkamena remained still and silent.

“Handing me off to some lowly creature who never learned to walk on two legs or even develop hands? You must be joking.”

“There are fates worse than death, Zinyak. If it had just been Earth and the Saints against you, I would be personally ripping your head off. But you had to provoke my companion.”

“This farce has gone on long enough. Zinjai!”

A Zin wearing a red cape appeared from behind the throne. “Yes, your excellency?”

“Is the empire watching?”

“Of course, your excellency.”

Numerous red screens appeared around Zinyak. Each one displayed Zin who were watching. One screen displayed the crew watching the upcoming battle.

Zinyak got off the throne and glared down at the two with contempt. The throne lowered into the platform. “Humanity is dead, my friend. Ponykind shall meet the same fate. The time has come for the last flicker of resistance to die.”

Playa tackled Zinyak to the floor before he punched him three times. Zinyak grabbed Playa’s fist and threw him aside and tried to slam him with his own but Playa rolled out of the way. Playa followed up with another punch to Zinyak’s head, Playa tried to get on top of the alien overlord again but was kicked away.

Zinyak pressed some buttons on his wristband and teleported away.

Playa looked around then upward as he heard something from above. The ceiling opened up and a giant mechanical construct flew down and landed in the center, knocking Playa back a little. The mechanical suit prepared to attack.

“Well okay then...time to end this,” Playa said.

The mech prepared to stomp Playa and Pinkamena away…

But something went wrong.

The suit paused and started sparking.

“What is going on?” Zinyak asked. He checked his systems and discovered the problem. “What? How? How are the systems on my mech clogged? Does anyone do maintenance anymore?”

Pinkamena giggled. “Looks like someone doesn’t pay attention to your stuff. If they had known, maybe they could have stopped that somepony from filling every tiny orifice of that suit with explosive frosting.”

“But you were there the whole time. How did you have time to do that?”

“Easy.” A certain pink pony dropped down from above and landed next to her power armor. She quickly leapt into her armor.

“I should have known you were suspiciously silent, but how did you have time to get out of the armor and sabotage my mech?”

“That’s a mystery you will never solve. Anyway...three...two...one…”

That was when the mech exploded, ejecting Zinyak and the alien landing at Pinkamena’s hooves.

Pinkamena continued, her red eye glowing brighter, “While I could have at least let you have one big epic final battle, you really pissed me off so I took away your chance to go out in a blaze of glory.”

“The Zin Empire will come down upon you for this travesty. Even if I die, your fates are sealed.”

“Who said anything about killing you? When I said you would suffer for eternity, I meant it.”

“How can you possibly make me suffer for eternity?”

“I think you’re about to find out. IT’S PUNISHMENT TIME!”

Pinkamena and Playa moved out of the way as the door to Zinyak’s throne room opened and a long length of chain with a clamp on the end flew into the room and clamped around Zinyak’s neck. Before the alien overlord could struggle, he was dragged out of the room by the chain. He flew a long distance until his metallic captor pulled him into a room in his mothership.

Zinyak was pulled onto a chair into the simulation that was meant for his size and the device closed around his body. His consciousness was quickly projected into a blank simulation where he would await his fate.

“Moondancer, activate S3E3A,” Pinkamena ordered.

Once the unicorn started up the program, Zinyak’s simulation was no longer blank as he stood under the only beam of light in an ocean of darkness. He suddenly saw a large number of red glowing eyes all around him. One of the figures stepped into the light to reveal Pinkamena. Another Pinkamena appeared behind Zinyak, then another and another.

Each Pinkamena could only utter one word: “Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!”

The light went out and Zinyak was quickly swarmed by countless pink ponies carrying knives. Each pony sliced up his flesh and chopped him to pieces. His internal organs were punctured by countless knives.

Once Zinyak succumbed to his wounds, the whole simulation reset and he was soon swarmed by Pinkamena clones again. This repeated over and over and over.

“Alright Moondancer, put him in his prison,” Pinkamena ordered from outside the simulation.

Zinyak soon found himself in the same quarry he trapped Pinkamena’s sisters in. However his captors were Pinkamena clones and each one was looking for a reason to slice his flesh again.

“What are you waiting for?” One of the clones asked. “You’re supposed to be breaking rocks for all eternity and I don’t see any rock breaking.”

Zinyak tried to crush the head of one of the Pinkamenas only to be quickly swarmed and chopped into pieces before the simulation reset.

“Wanna try that again?”

Zinyak tried to resist a few more times before he finally realized the futility of his resistance. If he tried to speak, he was swarmed. If he tried to think, he was swarmed. If he tried to wipe away sweat, he was swarmed. If he tried to do anything that didn’t relate to breaking rocks, he was swarmed.

Back in the real world, Moondancer placed the simulation onto a tiny storage device that ran on magic. The device would be where Zinyak spent his eternity.

With Zinyak separated from his body, Pinkamena chopped up Zinyak’s corpse into tiny pieces and gave them to every member of the Zin Empire as she could.

Once she was finished with her task, Playa came up to the madmare. “Hey Mena, we just learned that the Zin can time travel. Wanna go fuck around with history with us?”

“Do I?!” She asked rhetorically with eagerness. “I wanna mess with Jack the Ripper.”

Playa chuckled, “Come on, it’s time to celebrate and Pinkie has everything set up. We even invited that Zinjai guy to the party.”

Pinkamena walked out of the room and headed off to do some time travelling shenanigans with the Saints.

Interlude: Gods and Tartarus

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In the throne room of Canterlot stood four unhappy figures. Each of them having their own reasons for being unhappy.

One stood in front of her throne as the ruler of Equestria who had ruled the land for over a thousand years. Princess Celestia was unhappy to see one of the figures before her as his presence always meant trouble. But that wasn’t the main reason for her bad mood. The figure before her, who was normally jovial, was showing an uncharacteristic frown. That usually happened when something somewhere took a serious and unfortunate turn.

The second unhappy figure stood near Celestia. Normally they would appear individually in the throne room for Day and Night Court respectively. Princess Luna would only appear alongside her sister in the throne room whenever a serious situation occurred. Seeing the two figures before her, Luna knew that they were about to receive some bad news.

The third unhappy figure was a frowning Draconequus who had received some terrible news from those he reported to. On a regular day, Discord would be causing little bits of chaos without being too disruptive since he agreed to his friends that he would keep the chaos to a minimum.

Today, however, was not one of those days.

Only Celestia, Luna, and Cadance were allowed to know about Discord’s other duty. A recent event had escalated an ongoing situation that had remained a small problem since the dawn of ponykind.

Standing next to Discord was a reindeer who the princesses had never met before. He had a red coat with a white undercoat. He also had a white beard that was eight inches in length. He also wore a red and white faux fur hat.

Santa was thankful to Discord for sending him, his wife and the workers who remained loyal to him to this world where he could set up shop and spread good cheer to the beings of this world. Him and his wife being transformed into reindeer was a surprise along with being given the ability to fly without wings and the elves being transformed into a larger and tougher variant of breezie.

“What news do you have that is so dire, Discord?” Celestia finally asked.

“Straight to the point, I see. Very well, I have just come back from an emergency meeting between representatives from the other pantheons of the other Tartarus worlds. It seems that recent events have really shaken the leaders of the pantheons.”

“What events are you talking about?”

“Earth was destroyed, prematurely I might add.”

“The same world that you sent Pinkie and those other ponies to?” Luna asked. Discord nodded.

Celestia rubbed a gilded hoof to her temple. “Let me get this straight, the world where you sent Pinkie Pie, Treehugger, Gilda Grimfeather, Octavia Melody, Vinyl Scratch and Moondancer was somehow destroyed? While the very reason you sent Pinkie to that world was because of a deranged madpony in her head that was threatening to get out and murder my precious ponies. Am I right to assume that Pinkie Pie is now dead as an indirect result of your actions?”

“No. Pinkie and her friends were off-world when the planet blew up.”

Celestia breathed a sigh of relief. “In that case, I believe this matter has gone too far. I will have you return Pinkie and the others to Equus immediately. I will find some way to deal with the madmare myself.”

“I’m afraid that I can’t do that, not anymore.”

“Why?” Celestia started grinding her teeth in frustration.

“Because some of the higher ups have taken notice of Pinkamena. And after the destruction of Earth, the pantheons are shaken up. The Heavenly Host is now being overworked to process the billions of newcomers that showed up all at once while Hell is most certain to profit from it. Possibly enough to launch an attack on Heaven in the near future. If Satan succeeds then the pantheons might be targeted at some point as well, including the one of this world.”

“What does Pinkamena have to do with this?”

“She and the Saints are in the best position to stop him. In other matters, with the pantheons shaken up, Zeus, Ra and Odin have unanimously agreed that they need the Tartarus gates fortified. Hades, Osiris and Hel are preparing their defenses in case Satan comes knocking. Any of them can handle The Devil himself, but there’s still one gate that is woefully undefended.”

“Ours,” Celestia finished.

Discord nodded. “With the threat of Hell on the horizon, the pantheon leaders have decided to bring up that old subject.”

“Our gate does not need an Underworld Deity!” Celestia snapped, slamming a hoof into the floor, shattering a tile. “We have gotten along without one since the dawn of ponykind and we don’t need one now.”

Discord sighed, “I’m afraid you’ve been outvoted on the matter. The vote was overwhelming enough that if you refuse to rectify that, they will send armies to occupy Equus to make sure that our gate remains secure. I doubt that one as powerful as you would have a chance against two storm gods and another sun god.”

Celestia ground her teeth again. “Who would they suggest to fill that role? Luna? Cadence? For their sakes, I hope they don’t intend to make me ascend Twilight just to guard that door for eternity.”

“Ho ho ho ho ho. Peace Celestia, there’s no need to raise your dander,” Santa assured “The other gods know that your closest subjects would be unsuited to the task. Your sister was once under consideration but that was withdrawn after she had that awful stuff removed from her by the Elements of Harmony. There is already a candidate under consideration by the other gods and they plan to use this situation as their test for her.”

The alabaster mare’s eyes widened in realization about who the candidate was. “They can’t seriously be considering her. Discord was bad enough, but if someone like her joined, it would disrupt the harmony that I painstakingly sewed into the hearts of my little ponies over centuries. Generations of work undone by the decisions of foreign pantheons across three other worlds.”

Luna pondered the situation while her sister was arguing with Discord and Santa. She knew that there was no point in arguing over a decision that none of the other pantheon leaders were going to back down from. She was uncertain whether or not the candidate would be worthy of the position, but they hardly had a choice in the matter at this point. To that end, there was only one thing she could do.

“I shall go along with their wishes.”

“What?!” Celestia nearly yelled in the Royal Canterlot Voice as she turned to her sister. It took all of her self-control to not reach that level.

“There is no use fighting their decision, sister. If calamity should befall our little ponies as a result, then we must handle the fallout as it comes. Besides, if this does end poorly, you can tell the other leaders that you told them so and rub it in their faces for the next millennium.”

Celestia took a deep calming breath, using the breathing technique that Cadance showed her. “Very well, but I shall keep an eye on her, and I shall be having a discussion about her role in Equestria.”

“Are you sure she is up to the task?” Luna asked. “Satan is an immortal being and cannot be killed by conventional means.”

“We’ll cross that bridge if we come to it, Luna.” Celestia turned back to Discord and Santa. “Is that all you have to report?” The two nodded. “Good, because right now, I need my comfort food.”

“Ho ho ho ho, mind if I join you?” Santa offered. “If I’m going to be staying in this world for a long time I should at least become acquainted with the world leaders. Plus, the missus is considering putting me on that diet of her so-called ‘diet cookies’ again.”

Celestia cringed at the thought of diet pastries before she did her best to crush that thought. She smiled, “You are welcome to join us, Santa Claus.” As the group of three headed toward the dining room, Celestia suddenly turned to Discord. “If you can behave yourself long enough, you are free to join us as well.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I’m gonna have to decline.” He snapped a talon and a hand mirror with the reflective side facing inside the frame appeared in his paw. “The situation needs to be monitored. I’m not the only one watching her progress at this point. Though if the situation does end favorably, we could see your Tirek problem and your gang problem both handled in one fell swoop.”

“I’m not worried about how she will deal with those problems if she does gain such power, but what she does with that power afterward,” Celestia stated.

Celestia, Luna, and Santa proceeded into the dining room, leaving Discord alone in the throne room. He didn’t stay for long as he snapped his paw and disappeared.

Trial by Fire and Brimstone

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One could say a lot about Pinkie Pie. She was odd, even by her family’s standards. She was hyperactive most of the time. She ate several times her own body mass in food and burned off the calories in seconds. She had unexplainable abilities, some of which were inherited by her big sister Pinkamena. She shattered the fourth wall so often that others may question whether or not she had a deep-seated hatred for that particular piece of storytelling. Finally, she didn’t know the meaning of “personal space”.

But if there was one part of her that was loved the most by everyone, she really knew how to throw a good birthday party.

Today was a special day for two of the Saints who shared the same birthday. While the two of them were away on a different part of the ship which served as their new home, the others were getting into position to surprise the two.

Standing behind a large cake that was in the shape of a giant teacup were Shaundi, Pierce, Johnny, Asha, Matt, Playa and his new majordomo, Zinjai. Johnny and Pierce were holding pool cues. Unfortunately, Ben and Keith were unable to attend because someone had to manage the Zin Empire, but they did send their regards.

Standing in front of the cake were Gilda, Treehugger, Octavia, Vinyl, Pinkamena, Maud, Limestone and Marble who was shyly hiding behind Maud.

Kinzie and Moondancer soon entered the rec room and saw the group briefly before they shouted “Surprise!!!” Pinkie appeared out of nowhere, mere inches from the birthday girls as she shouted.

When Moondancer saw the setup, seeing that even Pinkamena was in attendance, she smiled as a single tear rolled down her right eye. They remembered her birthday and the one pony that she cared about most in her life was there with her. This was already shaping up to be the best birthday she ever had.

“What is all this?” Kinzie asked as if she had never seen anything like she was seeing before.

“It’s your birthday, Kinzie...” Johnny answered.

“Yours and Moondancer’s,” Pinkie added.

“Wait,” Moondancer turned to Kinzie, “You have the same birthday as me?”

“So?” Kinzie said, still not getting what the big deal is.

“You’ve never been to a birthday party?” Shaundi asked.

“No.”

“Like, not even growing up?” Playa asked.

“I went to the School of the America’s since kindergarten, we didn’t really do ‘birthday parties’.”

“But you celebrated Christmas?”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” Kinzie snapped. She started to walk away. Pinkie was beginning to feel sad for Kinzie.

Matt stepped in to save the party. “Oh Kinzie, this is going to be so much fun: Pinkie made a cake, Jane Austen is here, we’ll play some games…”

The last part caught Kinzie’s interest. She paused and turned to look at Matt. “What sort of games?”

The festivities were in full swing. Pierce was giving Jane Austen a manicure. Zinjai and Asha were playing Pin the Tail on the Pony with CID who had her sensors disabled.

CID was spun around on her torso so that her upper body was facing a random direction. She was unable to detect the error in her positioning and ended up moving forward before crashing into the board with the picture of a tailless pony. She fell over with the board.

The other human Saints were around a table with a ouija board in the center while the Equestrians were near them. Moondancer was looking at the presents her friends had gotten her. Gilda, with Pinkie’s assistance, made her a batch of her grandmother’s secret recipe biscuits. Thanks to the party mare, they were quite flakey. Treehugger gave Moondancer a bong. While the book-loving unicorn was usually not one for drugs, she had to admit that there were times when she needed to de-stress. Octavia played one of her favorite songs to Moondancer with her cello. Vinyl downloaded a number of songs that were taken from the Zin archive and placed on a miniature storage device. A music player that could use that device was also included in the package. Maud sculpted a small statuette of Moondancer. Limestone, practicing for her bartending license, mixed her first drink. When it was acceptable, she made enough of it to fill a bottle and gave the bottle to Moondancer. Marble gave Moondancer a potted plant that was starting to sprout from the soil. Pinkie, somehow knowing what Moondancer’s favorite foods were, gave her a basket of those foods.

Pinkamena’s gift was an interesting one. The madmare didn’t want Moondancer to reveal to the others what the gift was because it would make the party atmosphere take an awkward turn. Moondancer knew what it was and hugged Pinkamena tightly. The madmare was tough enough to withstand the squeeze and returned the hug.

It was then that Pinkie started shaking violently, her Pinkie Sense was alerting her to a real doozy of an event about to happen. “I wonder what this could be?” Pinkie wondered.

“Seriously?!” Pinkamena shouted. “Earth blew up and you never vibrated like that even once. Only now are you having one of your ‘doozy’ moments?”

“I can’t control how it works, Mena. Whatever it is, it’s big.”

It was then that everyone at the nearby table stood up. The Equestrians looked at the group. “Jezebel? Who the fuck is…” Playa was interrupted when a fiery rift opened behind him and sucked him inside. The ouija board landed on the floor where the Saints leader was.

“Is that not normal?” Kinzie asked.

Johnny grabbed Matt by the collar and demanded to know where the board came from. Matt claimed that it came from Zinyak’s artifact collection. He claimed the board once belonged to someone named Alister Crowley.

Kinzie noticed that the board was laughing at them as the cursor on the board was repeatedly moving between the letters ‘H’ and ‘A’. Johnny didn’t like the board’s sense of humor so he shot the object with his gun. “I think you’re a smart enough piece of wood to see where this is going...you ready to cooperate?” Johnny threatened. The board moved the cursor to ‘Yes’.

While the Saints were ready to mount a rescue of their boss, Johnny would not accept any of their help. Matt tried to protest but withdrew the protest when Johnny put him in charge. He secretly told Shaundi that he wasn’t serious about that.

Kinzie, however, was adamant about going with Johnny. Since he was unable to dissuade her, Johnny gave in to her demands.

“We’re going too,” Pinkamena declared.

“No chance,” Johnny said. “It’s bad enough that she’s coming with me, there’s no need in putting the rest of you in danger.”

The board said otherwise as it moved to the letters, ‘T,H,E,P,O,N,I,E,S,M,U,S,T,C,O,M,E,O,R,N,O,D,E,A,L’

“Since when was the board in a position to make demands?”

“I don’t think we have much choice,” Shaundi said.

“Fine.” Johnny put the cursor back on the board while Johnny, Kinzie, Shaundi and Pinkamena put a hand or hoof on it. “Do you know where my friend is?”

‘H,E,L,L’

It was then that another rift opened and sucked in Johnny, Kinzie and all of the Equestrians into it.

Johnny landed on a slab of rock with a large red star on it. He soon had the wind knocked out of him as he was suddenly piled on by Kinzie and a bunch of ponies. Gilda was able to land nearby thanks to her wings.

Everyone quickly got off of Johnny so they could look around them. There was fire, lava, rock and tall buildings as far as the eye could see.

Octavia spotted a billboard that advertised Ultor with a man’s face on it along with the slogan, ‘A bright future and a better afterlife’. “Gilda, do you remember that person?” She pointed to the billboard.

Gilda looked at the billboard. “Yeah I remember him. He’s the asshole who moved his company into Stilwater to renovate the slums and hired some former Saints who betrayed us. Worse, was that when we eliminated the gangs that took over Stilwater after Playa fell into a coma, he tried to take us out with his private army. Me, Huggs and Mena encased him in cement and buried him in the remains of the church he renovated.”

“So, this is Hell, huh?” Pinkamena mused. “Not a bad place, but too much of one theme. Could use some more variety.”

“We need more information,” Octavia said. “It would be unwise to roam through this realm blindly. Perhaps that man might have information that we might be able to use to locate our missing Saint.”

“Or maybe Dane Vogel’s behind it all,” Johnny offered. “Wouldn’t put it past him to pull this shit.”

“I would think he would have more of a grudge against me than Playa. Wouldn’t make sense to kidnap Playa when I would simply take over the Saints should anything happen to him,” Pinkamena reasoned.

“True. Either way, let’s go pay Dane a visit.”

With a direction to take, Pinkamena focused on the state of the group. Kinzie was looking around in curiosity. Most of her friends and family seemed to be taking the change in atmosphere pretty well except for Marble and Pinkie. It was understandable with Marble but Pinkie was looking very uncomfortable. “What’s the matter, Pinkie?” the madmare asked.

“This place feels like every party foul imaginable is happening at the same time. So much sadness and suffering in the air. It’s like happiness doesn’t exist here.”

“That’s kinda what Hell is,” Johnny explained.

“This place is kinda what I always imagined Tartarus would be like,” Pinkamena mused.

“Hey guys, there’s roads here. Let’s find some cars and go find Vogel,” Kinzie offered.

Gilda flew upward to get a better view of the area. She spotted their destination to the northeast, a large building that said ‘Ultor’ on it. She landed and relayed the information.

The group found a few cars on the road, worn and very beaten up. They looked like they could fully break down at any time. With few options, the group took the cars and headed toward the Ultor building. Kinzie, Johnny and Pinkie were driving the other ponies while Gilda flew close behind them.

On the way, they noticed a number of monster trucks with wheels that were almost as big as Celestia. The red and blue lights atop the vehicles indicated that they were the local law enforcement. Despite making sure to leave them alone, some of the vehicles were tempted to crush them. Octavia noticed their unprovoked attack and destroyed one of the vehicles with her AT rifle while Gilda started blasting some from above with her RPG.

“If they wish to behave this way, then we will need to find an alternate means of travel,” Octavia offered.

“That will be put on our list of priorities,” Pinkamena answered. “For now, let’s find Dane and get some answers.”

After some harassment from the locals, the group arrived at the entrance to the Ultor building. Once inside, Dane was waiting for them in the lobby, leaning against the reception desk. “Welcome to Hell,” he greeted.

Noticing the distinct lack of staff, Kinzie wondered about that but figured that since they were in Hell, Dane likely had to do everything himself.

“Where’s the President?” Johnny demanded.

“Straight to business, I see. I like that. Let’s talk in my office.”

Onice in his office, Dane explained the political climate of Hell and how messing with Satan’s belongings would easily get them land rights in Hell.

“You seem to be skipping some transitions, Vogel,” Pinkamena stated. “Since we seem to be going from Playa’s location to taking Satan’s lands, am I to assume the action relates to rescuing him?”

“Very astute, I’m actually less miffed that you killed me.” Vogel showed a black card with gold inscription. It read,

Dane Vogel,

you are cordially invited

to the black union of

Jezebel

Mephistopheles

the President

of the United States

held in traditional custom

at Great Serpent’s Chapel

The happy couple is

registered at

King Herod’s

“First, can you tell me who Jezebel is?” Pinkamena asked.

“Satan’s daughter. He’s wedding her off and my sources say that she has no choice in the matter.”

“Sounds about right for someone like him. Since we’ve been talking about land rights earlier, what does that have to do with the wedding?”

“I’m glad you asked. These invitations are tied to the soul. You can’t get into Satan’s castle without one. But you can get in if you piss him off enough by destroying his stuff, killing his minions, and disrupting the flow of currency around here. I know of key people in the five districts surrounding Satan’s castle who will be able to help. Two of them you may be familiar with. Other things I can tell you is that Satan leaves the day to day to five Archdukes. You’ll find them at the marshalling grounds at each of the districts.”

“In other words, yet another city takeover…” Pinkamena groaned.

“Actually, there’s more. But this is a matter that concerns you more than anyone else in this room. It has to do with that matter Santa tried to dodge.”

“He never did explain that whole ‘candidate’ thing. He used Zinyak as an excuse to avoid the subject.”

“Well I’m not under any oath of secrecy. So how about a deal, I give away what Santa’s been hiding, and you help me establish Ultor in Equestria.”

“I take it that you know the way back.”

“Of course I do, but it relates to the subject so I’m gonna need an agreement. I can assure you that there’s nothing underhanded about this. I’m a progressive man and I want to expand Ultor into as many markets as I can. I don’t care if I have to become a pony to expand my corporation.”

Pinkamena put a hoof to her chin as she thought about Dane’s offer. There were likely other ways for her to obtain the info so he wasn’t really in a good position. She could beat up Satan for the info. On the other hoof, it might be interesting to see what Ultor could do in Equestria and to see a battle between Dane’s progressive corporate mind versus Celestia’s thousand years of political experience. Even Discord would love to see what became of that. Frankly, she would too.

“I think I know of a place where you can set up. I intend to bring the gangs of Detrot under my control. From there, the criminal underworld. Assist me with the endeavor and you will have your corporate headquarters.” Pinkamena held out a hoof. Dane reached a hand out and shook Pinkamena’s hoof.

“Hey Mena, are you really gonna trust this guy?” Johnny asked.

“Not entirely, I’m not a fool. If he does step out of line, I’ll rip him apart, piece by piece, and make sure he is alive and conscious to feel every moment of pain that comes with it.”

“Noted,” Dane said with a gulp. “Onto my part of the deal, I’m sure you’re aware of the realm called Tartarus, correct?” Pinkamena nodded. “The gate on your world is actually one of four that once existed on Earth. In fact, Hell was actually a byproduct of the creation of Tartarus. The two realms are connected and you can get to Tartarus if one of the three existing Underworld Gods lets you in there.”

“So how did our gate end up in our world?”

“A long, long time ago before humanity’s existence, God created the Earth and mankind in seven days. He left the building blocks of the future but no means to set humanity on its course to today. While Satan bestowed knowledge upon humanity through treachery, what really shaped the world in its early days after God left the material on Earth were the Titans: colossal beings that shaped the land into what Earth was before Zinyak blew it up.

“However, those things decided that they wanted to rule humanity since they felt like they did all the work. God couldn’t have that so he created numerous pantheons of lesser gods to watch over humanity. He created Tartarus and sealed the Titans away. Three of the doors were watched over by pantheons: the Greek, the Egyptian, and the Norse. While there are other pantheons, they are irrelevant in this discussion. The fourth gate was underneath a doomed little island that was later settled by the Greeks. They called it Atlantis.

“Each of the three relevant pantheons had one Underworld God to guard their gate. Hades guards the Greek gate, Osiris guards the Egyptian gate and Hel guards the Norse gate. Atlantis never got an Underworld God and Hades couldn’t guard both gates.

“This all happened during an age that was magically wiped from humanity’s minds, an age where magical creatures roamed the land. The folly of mankind revealed itself when they were tempted by one of the Titans, Kronos, to break open the gates to Tartarus. The good of mankind, backed by the gods, were able to thwart their attempts at the guarded gates. However, they nearly succeeded with the Atlantis gate and so Zeus and Poseidon had to work together to sink the island and drown the bad guys under the waves.

“When God found out what happened, he couldn’t risk a repeat in the future so he stripped the world of its magic and magical creatures and relocated each gate to four different worlds. The pantheons went with them. The irrelevant pantheons, without magic in the world, faded away to nothingness. While memories of the gods remained, the magic associated with them didn’t and they were remembered as mere myths.

“As for the Titans, the spatial disruption that occurred during the transfer tore them apart and they all died. The realm is now a glorified prison for wicked souls nowadays.

“The current problem is that since the Atlanteans were originally Greek by origin and at some point worshipped the Titans like a bunch of idiots, There was no pantheon to guard the Atlantis gate and the world that it got sent to, Equus, had to create its own gods from among the magically uplifted species among that world. The first two are your princesses.

“What about Discord?” Pinkamena asked.

“About that, Discord was originally a creation from the Greek pantheon. Apparently some goddess named Eris created an apple that was made to sow discord among her fellow gods. While the apple was locked away for a time, Zeus decided that he needed a pair of eyes in Equestria to view Celestia’s and Luna’s progress. He took the apple and had it transformed into the draconequus that you know of. Zeus transferred Discord to Celestia’s pantheon but since Celestia’s still a young goddess by god standards, she is known for her young and foolish ideas such as when her sister was throwing a fit about not being loved, she got sealed away in her moon for a thousand years while Discord was young too and his ways got him sealed in stone.

“The fact that no progress had been made for her to grow her pantheon for a thousand years, the leaders of the other pantheons, Zeus, Ra and Odin, were growing impatient with her. What the old fogeys don’t understand is that Celestia doesn’t have the experience that the other gods have while they are expecting her to just know what to do. Celestia wasn’t blessed with knowledge from God unlike the others.

“The situation she’s in now is that the others have lost their patience with her and are now demanding that she appoint an Underworld God or Goddess to guard the Atlantis gate. The other pantheons have agreed to back off and let Celestia handle her own pantheon if she can at least do that. Right now, there is one potential candidate who can fill that role; some pony who can witness the horrors of Tartarus and smile as if she were right at home with it. Somepony like you.”

“Are you serious!?” Pinkamena yelled in anger. “They want somepony like me to become an alicorn just so they have a goddess protecting their precious gate? Why can’t they just create an Underworld God and transfer them to Equus like with Discord?”

“It’s one thing to create a god and put them in charge of a concept, it’s another to create one and put them in charge of a prison that was created by a being higher than them. Among the pantheons, there are three primary gods each while the rest are secondary. The Greek spots are filled by Zeus, Poseidon and Hades. The Egyptian spots are filled by Ra, Isis and Osiris while the Norse ones are held by Odin, Thor and Hel. The Atlantean three are Celestia, Luna while the third is currently vacant. Even the other pantheons are incapable of creating a primary. This is because primaries are, as a rule of thumb, the most powerful members of their pantheon and they can't create anything that equal themselves. In the case of Equestrians, one must ascend to the position.”

“What about that one Celestia appointed recently, Mi Amore Cadenza?” Pinkamena asked.

“Because that isn’t allowed. The third seat must always be filled by an Underworld God or Goddess. Unless Celestia or Luna give up their spots, Cadenza will always be a secondary.”

“So basically, they want a psychopath like me to fill the last primary slot.” Pinkamena sighed. “They're a bunch of idiots. I’ll think about it but there are no guarantees that I will agree to this. If I refuse and the other gods decide to intervene, I’ll just have to tear their armies apart.”

Dane chuckled, “Yeah, good luck with that. For now, you have some associates of mine to save and a city to take over. Shouldn’t take you as long as it would in your previous endeavors since it wouldn’t take much to piss off the big guy.”

With that, the group prepared to leave the Ultor building and raise hell in Hell.

Powers and Friends, New and Old

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Dane Vogel, chief executive of the Ultor branch in Hell, had managed to strike a deal and gained the assistance of Johnny Gat, Kinzie Kensington, and the Equestrians. He had also struck a bargain with somepony who was ambitious enough that she could soon become the biggest name in the Equestrian underworld. It was a risky investment, but the reward would be worth it if he can install an Ultor branch in Equestria and gain access to their markets.

Dane would stop at nothing to gain the fame and glory that he deserved. He would invest his earnings into whatever it took to become the biggest figure in the business world. He never held onto grudges as they were unproductive and detrimental to progress. That was why he would ally with the Saints who killed him in life and cast him into Hell. As long as there was business, he would adapt.

As part of his investment with the Saints, Dane had procured a pair of artifacts.

One of them, Lucifer’s Cracked Halo, was one that he had to spend nearly his entire fortune to acquire from one of his associates. It was a magical artifact that was not at full power but the basic functions still existed. It would allow Johnny and Kinzie to sprout wings and fly through New Hades unimpeded...at least until Satan turned on the aerial defenses.

The other artifact required some adjustments to its spell matrices in order to be useful. It took a lot of secret backroom deals to be made in order to adjust the artifact. He had to remove its addictive properties which ultimately reduced its magical potency while adding in a spell to give the wearer wings as long as it was worn. Another spell was added to allow the wearer to share the effects with others in accordance to the wearer’s will. The lost potency would be made up with the magics of Hell. Dane had to go through a lot of hoops to make sure the Alicorn Amulet was ready for use.

As for how the amulet ended up in Hell, Dane had established some connections with some of the Tartarus guardians in the Atlantean section and the artifact ended up in Tartarus after some Zebra left it in their care.

Johnny gripped the halo with his right hand while Kinzie gripped it with her left. The energies of the halo altered their arms and inscribed a filigree pattern on them.

The Alicorn Amulet was made into a necklace which Pinkamena put around her neck. Once worn, the amulet wrapped its energies around the madmare and created a pair of wings at the sides of her barrel.

Pinkamena inspected her new appendages. While the wings still moved with her will, she could still tell that they were an enchantment.

Channeling her will through the amulet, she also bestowed wings to her friends. Moondancer and Vinyl looked like alicorns. Gilda didn’t receive any physical enhancements but she could feel the magic within her react to the power of the amulet. She didn’t feel any different, but decided to wait and find out if anything changed before judging whether or not whatever happened affected her.

After they were given the power of flight, Johnny and Kinzie were sent to a floating island over the molten sea to learn how to use their wings. Dane personally taught the two how to use them.

Meanwhile, Gilda was playing flight instructor and teaching the others how to use their new appendages. She had to be reminded time and again that her friends were not Rainbow Dash; they didn’t have her aptitude for flying and neither were they pegasi. On several occasions did Gilda have to save a pony from falling into the magma.

It came as no surprise that Treehugger was the first among the ponies to learn how to fly properly because she had worked with wings several times in the past so she was able to fly at a passable level to Gilda’s standards. The others soon got the hang of their newest appendages and tested themselves by flying through spheres that contained souls throughout the area. Each pony who absorbed a soul cluster sent the power gained directly to the Alicorn Amulet.

Once everypony got the hang of flying, Pinkamena made Pinkie stay with Dane and Marble while they went out to begin conquering New Hades. Pinkie protested but Pinkamena countered that Hell was no place for non-violent ponies. “You have friends waiting for you in Equestria Pinkie, what are they going to think when they find out that you had to murder a bunch of demons to get home? Even if they are fine with that, this is a realm full of amoral demons who will stop at nothing to kill us and worse. They will use you as a hostage.”

“But I can’t just sit and cower at this point Mena, not when we’re so close to home.”

“How about a test of your resolve.” Pinkamena pulled a pistol from her mane and tossed it into Pinkie’s hooves. “If you can kill demons without hesitating, then I will let you accompany us. There is no mercy to be given in this realm, not from them and neither must we.”

The sound of gunfire was heard nearby. The two turned their heads to the direction of the shooting and headed that way. In the nearby street, they spotted Marble shooting at demons patrolling the street and getting shot at in retaliation. Marble moved to evade the return fire, getting grazed a few times.

Pinkamena facehoofed at the sight, “Of course, always the quiet ones.” She turned back to Pinkie. “Anyway, you can either come help make sure your sister doesn’t get herself killed or you can head back to Vogel and hide. I’ll respect your choice either way. But if you choose to kill demons with us, you have to follow my orders, got that?”

With that said, Pinkamena headed to the street to support her usually quiet sister and make sure she doesn’t get killed.

Pinkie was left in a difficult position. Here they were in Hell, a realm where only bad people go and now she was left with a difficult decision to make. Seeing her shyest and gentle sister killing demons alongside her big sister made Pinkie wonder why every pony who followed Pinkamena became a killer.

“They understand what they need to do to get the job done,” said Dane who walked up beside the party pony. “You’re probably wondering why ponies, who are normally pacifists, are suddenly turning into violent murderers. It’s not that your sister turns them into killers, it’s that she knows the reality of their situation and she helps them see that reality as well. You’ve known her for years now so you should know it as well. She has protected your innocence all this time because it’s something big sisters do. Don’t you think it’s about time you repay that debt you owe her?”

“Vogel!” Pinkamena yelled from the street. “If you’re putting ideas into her head, you’re taking a fiery bath in the sea.”

“...I’ll leave you to think on that.” Dane briskly walked back to his office afterward while trying hard not to look like he was in a hurry to get away from Pinkamena.

Pinkie knew that Dane had a point, the others were doing what needed to be done to get them home. She knew that she didn’t owe Pinkamena a debt for protecting her because they were sisters who look out for each other. But seeing Marble going around killing demons made her realize that she was the only pony who wasn’t carrying her weight and though Pinkamena would never say it, the party pony knew that the madmare knew that she was being a burden to her.

As much as she hated killing, these demons were the only things keeping her from getting home to her friends and the sooner they took over New Hades, the sooner they could get home.

Pinkie noticed a demon taking aim at Marble while she and Pinkamena were distracted. Acting quickly, Pinkie overcharged one of her party bombs to explode, slathered it in honey and put it in her party cannon before firing it at the demon. The shot impacted the demon in the chest and sent him flying into the alley. The demon tried in vain to get the sticky device off his chest before the bomb went off. The resulting explosion tore at the demon’s flesh and sent parts of him splattering all over the alley.

Pinkamena, Marble and the remaining demons in the area stopped fighting to look at the damage that occurred. Neither sister could believe what they saw as they had just witnessed Pinkie killing someone on purpose.

Pinkamena acted quickly to clean up the area before she grabbed Marble and Pinkie and flew back into the office building.

The madmare stared at the two of them for a few moments before she asked them an important question, “Are you two sure you want to be a part of this? Think hard about your answer because if you agree to work with us in taking over this city, there will be no taking back your decisions.”

Marble was the first to reply, “S-Satan will come after us whether we want to fight or not. I won’t become a burden on you or any of my sisters. I hate fighting, but I understand that we need to if we want to see our home again.”

“And I can’t be the only one not fighting while everyone else is fighting to get home. I know I’m not much of a fighter, but I have to do something if it means us getting home,” Pinkie added.

Pinkamena sighed then gave the two a serious look, “Fine, but I don’t want either of you backing down from all of this. This matter is a commitment and the stakes have never been higher. Our way home is on the line so don’t screw this up.” The other two nodded. “Good, now we wait for the others and Dane can point out targets for us to hit.

Once everyone was back from flight training, Dane began briefing the group on what to do to get Satan angry at them.

“Here’s the deal. If you want some face time with Satan, you need to get his attention. Now Satan hates being challenged so anything you do to undermine his control is good. Fraud, mayhem, shooting demons in the face...anything.

Activities and dealing with targets will earn you land ownership. Activities include the previously mentioned fraud and mayhem along with flying around like you own the place and saving souls.

“My lawyer Legal Lee figured out a way to get some gold level clients a fast track out of Hell. The more abuse you put these guys through, the more years we can shave off. Lee suggested running clients though the designated intersections to boost their punishment. Oh, and dive in front of those vehicles on fire for bonus years. I mean, let’s face it, the more they hurt, the sooner we can get these wretched bastards out of here.

“There are places where Satan is using his magic to send souls skyward and downward. You want to save those souls before they fall to their deaths.

“Next, I’ve marked some targets for you to take out. There are five Marshalling Grounds, one in each district. Satan gathers his armies there and they’re all guarded by each of his Archdukes. There are also facilities that Satan uses to extract the sins from the souls in Hell. Those sins are used as the primary currency around here. We want to shut these places down to deny Satan his cash flow. There are also a few places around where you can challenge Satan’s minions to a little King of the Hill. You survive the challenge, the land is yours. There are also some other targets and challenges that you can take on but I think I’ll leave those to be explained by my associates.

“As you help my associates, they will help you power up your respective artifacts and point you to places where you can enhance those powers even more.

“Keep in mind, it won’t take much for you to get Satan’s attention, but it will still take a lot of doing to make him pissed enough to fight you. The first thing he will do is activate his aerial defenses to deal with you. You can anger him even more if you disable them by ripping out their hearts. Any questions? No? Then get going and make this city yours.” Dane went into his personal office to watch events unfold.

“So what’s the plan, Mena?” Johnny asked.

Pinkamena began assigning the takeover of districts to pairs of ponies or griffon after she examined the map and what each district offered and the associate trying to take control of it. She assigned Octavia and Vinyl to The Den to help the playwright, William Shakespeare. Treehugger and Marble stayed in Forge to help with the district that Dane wanted to control.
Gilda and Limestone ended up with the desolate Barrens where the pirate Blackbeard kept his ship. Moondancer and Maud were assigned to the Downtown district where some old acquaintances were in a security war with Satan’s security firm, Sinterpol. This left Pinkamena and Pinkie with Shantytown where the legendary murderer, Vlad the Impaler, resided.

Johnny and Kinzie were told to stay mobile and assist the others. Kinzie decided to fly around the districts collecting Soul Clusters and tomes because her obsessive-compulsive nature was rearing its metaphorical head. Johnny did what he did best: indiscriminately murder demons.

As the ponies left, Pinkamena saw Marble huddled in a corner, likely because the adrenaline rush just wore off and she was only now feeling the gravity of the situation she had put herself in. Unfortunately, Pinkamena didn’t have time to deal with her sister so she left the task of rousing her to Treehugger.

“Of all the places in this piece of Tartarus, I end up with the middle of nowhere,” Gilda complained as she and Limestone flew back south in the direction they had originally come from when they first arrived in Hell.

“I get that there’s not much here, but for whatever reason this so-called ‘legendary pirate’ chose to claim this piece of nothing,” Limestone added. She briefly glanced at her new appendages. “I just hope we can take this city quick, I really don’t want to learn how to preen these things.”

It didn’t take long for Gilda and Limestone to find the ship that belonged to Blackbeard. The Queen Anne’s Revenge sat atop a series of stone pillars over a fiery pool of magma. The duo landed on the deck. They looked around but saw nobody around. Gilda saw the ship’s steering wheel and began imagining herself sailing on open waters.

Gilda’s daydream was interrupted with the sound of a deep, rough and masculine voice, “Abandon ship! We’ve been boarded!”

Gilda and Limestone looked ahead to find a man with dark skin that had orange glowing lines inscribed into it. He had a fair sized black beard and he was dressed in a black vest, pants and boots and had a black tricorn hat.

The man, who the Equestrians suspected was Blackbeard, kicked away a demon that looked like it would only reach up to Limestone’s muzzle in height. It was red, had glowing red eyes and a glowing red maw with a set of sharp teeth. Its arms and feet ended in claws and it had pointed ears. There were a fair number of them invading the ship and trying to destroy it.

Limestone started crushing the imps with her hooves by jumping on them while Blackbeard directed Gilda to a chest near her. When she opened it, she pulled out a warhammer which had a head that resembled a demon with a flat face and two large horns. Gilda used the hammer to play whack-an-imp with the small army of imps. She created a few dents in the ship but nothing that couldn’t be repaired.

“I summoned these imps to serve as me crew. I forgot what a handful they could be. Once aboard, they wouldn’t listen to their cap’n. They ran amok down in the bowels of the ship,” Blackbeard explained.

“You ever consider showing them an act of dominance?” Gilda offered.

“They’re supposed to listen to what their summoner says. I must have messed up the contract somehow.”

“Or maybe you need to do this.” Gilda grabbed one of the imps and held it up to her face before she unleashed a fierce roar in the demon’s face. The imp cowered before the griffon. The other imps noticed what happened and placed their hands on the ground and bowed before her while begging for her forgiveness. Blackbeard’s jaw dropped when he saw his traitorous crew obeying her.

“Show an act of dominance, you say? I’ve never seen a creature such as ye. What are ye?”

“I’m a griffon,” Gilda answered with a raised eyebrow.

“Impossible, those creatures are but legends from times before me own.”

“Well, you’re looking at one.”

“I see, seein’ as ye handle me crew quite well, I feel the spell would be well kept in your hands, err, talons.” Blackbeard channeled his magic into Gilda which flowed into Limestone and the rest of her friends. Her mind expanded as she suddenly knew the spell to summon imps.

However, when she used the spell, the imps appeared different. Instead of the red color that they just fought, Gilda’s imps were black and radiated shadowy energy. Limestone summoned imps as well but hers looked more like small golems made of rock.

Still, having demons at their beck and call, Gilda and Limestone could get used to that.

Octavia and Vinyl were impressed that there was working electricity in Hell, though they figured that some form of magelights were at work. The entertainment district appeared to be a place where one would satisfy their carnal desires given the number of strip joints in this part of town.

The address given by Dane took them to a neighborhood called Bard’s Bastille. The place of residence was a nightclub in that neighborhood. Vinyl was feeling comfortable being in her element while Octavia was glad that at least one of them was comfortable.

Inside the club, they were quickly noticed by Shakespeare who was overseeing the dance floor from an upper level behind a turntable. Once he spotted the two, he picked up his microphone and announced himself, “Lights up: William Shakespeare - Humanity’s greatest playwright, and Hell’s most diabolical purveyor of entertainment, looks on as a pair of magical creatures, born of a small girl’s fantasy, on an Orphean quest enters. The Bard’s interest is piqued, and he looks to test his visitors’ mettle.” He held out his hand holding his microphone and dropped it on the turntable before he began scratching on the turntable.

“I like this guy, wouldn’t mind scratching with him every now and then,” Vinyl commented.

“Eyes up Vinyl, we have company,” Octavia warned.

Vinyl grinned as she pulled out her Wubstep Gun and started filling the room with her music and blasted the heads of the demons wearing comedy masks around the dance floor. Octavia pulled out her sniper rifle and blew a hole in the head of a sleek red demon carrying a sniper rifle. Another such demon teleported to the rafters and tried to hide his presence in the darkness but Octavia saw him clearly and shot him down.

“Shakespeare is fascinated by the duet on the dance floor. The white horned one fights with the roar of the modern age that drowns out the sounds of this humble Bard’s studio. The other possesses sight beyond the scope of most of humanity. But it is the chemistry of these souls that intrigues this Bard. One whose heart is filled with the sounds of today and lives for today and tomorrow while the other fills Shakespeare’s heart with elation that the sounds of his mortal days had yet to be silenced. Two who appear as opposites and yet incomplete without the other.”

It was then that a robed demon appeared floating above the dance floor surrounded by a red barrier that was surrounded by a number of demonic runes. “This fight is far from over,” the Dark Inciter said. He then summoned more demons wearing comedy masks.

Octavia quickly dispatched the remaining Tragedy and Flying Demons while Vinyl overwhelmed the Dark Inciter’s shield with her Wubstep Gun before the music overpowered and obliterated the demon.

“The conflict resolved, Shakespeare eagerly awaited meeting the duet that dispatched so many of his men. Undoubtedly they were here for The Bard’s aid, and while happy endings were not a thing found in Hell, Shakespeare always had a soft spot for comedies.”

“He certainly seems committed to his narrating,” Octavia commented.

“Kinda reminds me of that one travelling magician who showed up in Ponyville a couple of times and left humiliated both times,” Vinyl thought out loud.

“I was still living in Canterlot back then, were you there?”

“Nah, I just heard the rumors, though now that I think about it, he and that mare might make for an interesting duo.” Vinyl and Octavia shared a giggle.

Shakespeare, a man with no hair atop his head except on the sides with red glowing eyes and was wearing chain mail, walked downstairs to greet the ponies. “While Shakespeare is intrigued by the conversation conducted by the lovely heroines, time makes no exception to stop and the heroines must be prepared for the ultimate confrontation. And so, Shakespeare called forth the Deus Ex Machina to bestow our protagonists with the arcane power of Force Stomp.”

After the surge of power subsided from the musical duo, they realized that the power they now felt was actually familiar, as if it were the same power of Stomp that they had before.

To test out this new ability, they went outside the club and performed a Stomp. Just as they figured, Octavia’s Stomp slowed time around her while Vinyl unleashed a powerful electrical discharge.

Both welcomed back their old friends.

Moondancer and Maud were flying above the congested traffic of the Downtown district. Moondancer could tell that her companion was uncomfortable being so high in the air despite her neutral expression and the fact that she was an earth pony.

Maud had another reason for her discomfort though. She continued looking at Moondancer with curiosity even through her neutral face. Since there was still time, she decided to ask the question that had been bothering her, “What is Pinkamena to you?”

Moondancer was surprised by the sudden question. She looked back at the stone-faced mare before she thought of an appropriate answer. “She is the one who saved me from a life of loneliness that plagued me since I graduated from Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. I felt like my own interests were nothing but trouble before I met her. She helped me embrace the part of myself that I was rejecting because of society’s standards.”

“So you see her as a hero? I can’t imagine that being the only reason you two are in a relationship.”

“Well, it kinda helps that we share similar kinks.” Moondancer blushed while Maud smiled. “I’m not sure what Pinkamena was like before me, Octavia, Vinyl, Gilda and Treehugger met her, but I do hope that we have had a significant impact on her life.”

Maud maintained her smile, “Pinkamena was far from the nicest pony around. I suppose our parents being forceful with her inheriting the family rock farm didn’t help with that. As she entered her teenage years, she was rebellious and snapped at anypony trying to control her life. She felt like the world was against her and it tried to make her into what it wanted, never knowing that the world itself was turning her into a monster. If it wasn’t for sending her away from Equus, I fear she may have become a serial killer.

“You and the others, as well as the Saints, have had a huge impact on her life. I’m glad she has friends like you.”

Moondancer’s blush deepened but she shook it away as they approached the parking lot near the garage where the DeWynter sisters were holed up. Inside the garage, they flew up to the second level where Viola and Kiki DeWynter were discussing their plans.

“We’re standing in a parking garage,” Viola stated.

“I don’t like it either, but Sinterpol isn’t giving us many options,” Kiki responded.

“I can’t believe they tried to force us out.”

“I can’t believe you forgot the mimosas.”

“I think we have bigger problems.”

“I don’t think you realize how much I love mimosas.”

Everyone noticed the demons that infiltrated the parking garage.

Maud slammed a hoof into the chest of one of the group of demons on a walkway approaching the sisters. The demons were sent flying through the wall and out of the garage. Moondancer noticed a group of flying demons firing at the sisters so she lit her horn and held their wings in her magic before she slowly ripped them off, causing the demons to scream in agony before they fell to the bottom floor where she set them on fire. The demons continued to scream until they stopped moving.

“Whew, I really needed that,” Moondancer said before thanking the corpses. Maud raised an eyebrow before shrugging and ran out of the garage to deal with more demons.

Kiki blinked at Moondancer’s display. She asked her sister, “Was she always like that?”

“You’d be amazed by what Pinkamena has done too if you lived long enough to see it,” Viola answered.

“I’ll take your word for it.”

Outside the garage, Moondancer and Maud were using the vehicles in the parking lot to bash and crush demons. The unicorn ripped the wings off more flying demons before Maud crushed them with cars.

While they were busy tearing apart the demonic ambush, a large demon with red spikes coming out of his elbows charged into the parking lot looking to take down the ponies.

His charge didn’t last long once he was noticed. Maud charged into the demon’s groin and bashed it with her hoof which caused him to keel over grabbing his crotch. He felt his head held in a telekinetic grip which forced his head to begin twisting. He resisted at first until Maud jumped on his back and added her own force to the twisting motion which broke his neck. Moondancer then pulled back on the head and ripped it off his shoulders, taking his spine with it. Moondancer sent the head flying away.

Viola and Kiki witnessed the brutality and quickly agreed to never piss off Equestrians.

For their assistance, Maud and Moondancer were rewarded with a Blast power. Both tested their new powers on some nearby demons. Moondancer’s power seared the demons in holy energy until they disintegrated.

Those affected by Maud’s power turned to gemstones which turned into bonus currency when they were shattered. “Huh, I guess these demons are stuck up.”

Neither Pinkie or Pinkamena could figure why there would be a prison in Hell when the realm itself was a prison. According to Dane, his associate in Shantytown, Vlad the Impaler, was being held prisoner in that penitentiary on an island not far from the town.

Pinkie was concerned that the prison was made to hold the meanest, grumpiest, and angriest people in all of Hell and torture them in the worst way imaginable. The party mare figured that the means were so terrifying that she couldn’t begin to imagine what was happening to them.

The guards didn’t seem to mind the new arrivals since they appeared to look away and ignore them. This was fine with Pinkamena as she would prefer to save her energy for when the real fighting started.

The inside of the prison was not what either mare was expecting. In fact, it made Pinkie smile and Pinkamena roll her eyes at how disappointing the atmosphere was. The place looked like a court in a mall while the walls were decorated with positive messages. The floor was a checkerboard of pink and yellow squares. In the center of the room they entered, there was a circle of demons and demons dressed as child-friendly demons as well as tortured souls in prison uniforms. Vlad was spotted among the group. The intercom was playing “Wheels on the Bus”.

Vlad appeared to be in a trance-like state while singing along to the music before he passed out.

“This place seems nice,” Pinkie observed.

“Yeah, if they were you. For psychoes and murderers like me and Vlad over there, it’s like being in one of Zinyak’s simulations. Anyway, head up to the next floor and put a stop to that music before I’m tempted to collapse the prison just to stop it.”

“Okie dokie lokie,” Pinkie saluted before charging up the stairs.

Meanwhile, Pinkamena pulled out her Vorpal Blade and started dismembering demons and causing their blood to spray all over the place. Flying demons appeared to suppress the disturbance but ended up with their wings sliced off when the madmare took to the air. Those who survived ended up with their skulls smashed by Pinkamena’s Knightmare. She had to remain mobile to avoid getting into the line of fire of the Shadow Demons on the second floor.

The familiar and soothing sound and smell of carnage greeted Vlad’s senses which stirred him from his coma. His eyes opened to an interesting sight above him as a pink pony with wings was hovering above him while she had an expression on her face that showed how much she was enjoying butchering the demons in the area. A mare after his own heart.

While Pinkamena was having her fun, Pinkie found the broadcasting room and the demon who wasn’t paying attention to her banging his head as he listened to music on his headphones. Whether it was the music being played or other music meant to tune out the wholesome music the party pony didn’t know. All she knew was that she had to put an end to the music.

With a sigh, Pinkie pulled out an explosive cupcake, jumped toward his head to tackle him and shoved the cupcake into his mouth. The demon panicked for a moment before his head exploded. Pinkie looked away from the blast before turning to the equipment. With no idea on how to operate the device, she pulled out a large hammer from her mane and smashed the equipment until it stopped functioning.

The music outside the room began to distort until the sounds from the speakers were silenced.

Pinkamena, while glad that the music was stopped, was having trouble dealing with the Shadow Demons who repeatedly teleported away to avoid most of her attacks. This was beginning to frustrate the madmare.

“Take this, the Stygian Cold Fire,” Vlad declared as he gave some of his power to Pinkamena. “Use it to end these fools.”

Pinkamena’s grin turned maniacal before she yelled to Pinkie and Vlad, “You two might want to close your eyes, these demons are about to feel real terror.” Pinkie quickly obeyed while Vlad looked on with curiosity. The madmare shrugged before she activated her Aura power and entered her Madness form.

The Shadow Demons were paralyzed in fear as the terrifying equine visage was upon each of them nearly instantaneously before their feelings of terror subsided when their consciousness faded with their lives.

Vlad looked on in terror and awe at the ghostly manifestation of fear before the Aura effect faded and the mare returned to normal. “Truly an impressive sight for one to express the true terror of death. I can only imagine how many lives you have taken with that knife.”

Pinkamena smirked, “Just don’t try coming on to me, I already have a marefriend.”

Vlad nodded, hiding an expression of slight disappointment, “Let us return to my castle where we may discuss our plans in more appropriate surroundings.”

Pinkie returned to the bottom floor to regroup with Pinkamena. She was still humming the wholesome music as she went.

Vlad leaned over to Pinkamena whispering, “Could you get her to not hum or sing that song in my presence? Any reminder of it brings me pain.”

Pinkamena convinced her sister to not hum or sing while around Vlad as the trio headed to Vlad’s castle.

A Pirate's Accord

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Once Dane’s associates were rallied, Johnny, Kinize, the Equestrians and the associates returned to the Ultor building to plan their strategy to take over New Hades and draw Satan out of hiding.

In addition to the targets and activities pointed out by Dane, the other associates pointed out some points of interest as well.

Since Blackbeard was being offered a share of Ultor’s profits, he repaid the favor by pointing out five treasure chests that he hid in New Hades; one in each district. The chests held an impressive fortune in solidified sins, the currency of Hell. The only catch was that Blackbeard magically locked them and the only means to open them were three glyphs for each chest hidden throughout each of the districts. The currency would go a long way to fuelling the war effort.

Vlad was irate when he saw the state of his castle. When he saw it, the place had been invaded by Frat Demons, demons that acted like an out of control college fraternity. Their fraternity was known as Omega Omega Omega. The Omegas trashed Vlad’s castle while he was away in Satan’s penitentiary and he wanted to make the demons pay for it. His idea was to infiltrate the pledge rallys and use their hazing paddles to beat them away to their deaths. The sins they would leave behind would go a long way to repairing the castle.

Shakespeare had mentioned that a particular husk was mysteriously appearing in places throughout the city and he mentioned Johnny many times and how it was a mistake to allow a psychopath like Pinkamena into the Saints. Dane was able to put the facts together and point out that his former Chief of Security, Dex, was roaming Hell. Pinkamena and Johnny were really looking forward to seeing how many times they can kill Dex.

Viola and Kiki had some information too. The found ways to help the winged warriors augment their new powers with some variations. They pointed out the locations of eight altars located throughout the city and they would have to use the corresponding power on the altar to activate it. They then had to feed power to the altars by feeding them demon souls.

“I have some more information as well,” Dane pointed out. “Seeing as there are twelve of you flying around and disrupting his shit, Satan’s decided to activate his aerial defense system sooner than I expected. There are twenty-six spires in all and I suggest you deal with them because ignoring them is just going to make you have a bad day. They look like giant living phalluses that end in claws.”

“How big are they?” Pinkamena asked.

“Big enough that you’d have to be almost as big as Blackbeard’s ship to stick it inside yourself without getting ripped apart in the process,” Dane answered, knowing that the phallus part was what she was going to cling to. “In order to disable the spires, you need to literally reach into it and rip out its heart.”

It was then that Dane remembered one last thing that might help the Equestrians and Saints out. “One last thing, there are some really powerful weapons out there. Thanks to the industrious nature of Hell, seven powerful weapons were made utilizing the Seven Deadly Sins. I can’t tell you too much about them though, you’ll have to find out on your own.

As the Equestrians were leaving, they suddenly picked up on a sensation that they hadn’t felt in years. The last time it was felt was when it spontaneously happened on Equus. Given Pinkamena’s experience with the televised shows on Earth, the music that they felt seemed Disney-esque. She soon realized that Johnny and Kinzie were also infected by the music as they started singing about how pressured they were in rescuing the boss and that the only thing they could do right now was to stay the course.

“Huh, guess Heartsong happens in Hell too,” Pinkamena noted.

“Why don’t we join in?” Pinkie asked.

“Because the writer is lazy and didn’t feel like writing lyrics for us.” Pinkamena sighed and changed the subject, “Let me ask you something, If you were given the opportunity to become a princess, would you take it?”

“Nope.”

“Care to elaborate?”

“Because silly, I don’t want to lead a nation for thousands and thousands and thousands of years. I’m terrible at leading. Besides, I don’t want to outlive my friends in ponyville. Sure, it would be nice to plan parties forever and being friends with the descendants of your friends is nice, but when your old friends are gone, you never see them again...well, unless you somehow end up getting killed but I don’t know if alicorns can die.”

Another sigh, “I already know about the eternal youth of the alicorns and the likelihood of outliving my friends. If I do lead Equestria’s first crime syndicate as an alicorn, I’m gonna have a bucking good reason for doing so. If those other gods are going to ask me to become one, they better make a convincing argument because when you’re killing and torturing for millennia to come and being alone along with it, eternal life is overrated.”

“So what will you do when we get back? I don’t think Princess Celestia will let you run free because no offense, but you’re a danger to ponykind and I’m pretty sure she will try to keep you sealed in Tartarus.”

Pinkamena shrugged, “None taken. I’ll figure something out if I do reject the offer.”

The Equestrians spread their wings and flew off to their assigned districts to provide assistance to Dane and his business partners.

Gilda and Limestone flew back to The Barrens to find out what tasks needed to be done to secure the smallest of the five districts in New Hades. The grumpy duo had to wonder why the place held any importance to the infamous pirate and resolved to ask him that when they returned to his suspended ship.

Along the way, a glowing spear of red light flew toward them. Both mare and hen tried to evade the projectile but the missile continued to chase them. While Gilda was already a skilled flyer who could easily evade the pursuing light, Limestone was still only a novice flyer at best so the missile impacted against her and exploded. Thankfully, the magic of the Alicorn Amulet gave her some protection from the blast so she only fell from the sky and onto the brimstone below without suffering too much damage.

However, whatever launched that projectile at them needed to be taken down or it was going to harass them in the skies again.

Gilda looked around the area and saw the object that Dane mentioned earlier, a large, slimy tentacle that ended in claws that charged a single bolt of red light between them, likely another missile. The body of the tentacle had a yellow sack inside it that the griffon suspected was where the heart of the spire would be. The tentacle was also guarded by several demons.

Limestone soon recovered from her attack and joined Gilda to look at the living structure. “I hope there aren’t too many of these around here, I’m already getting a headache from the first one.”

“There shouldn’t be too many around here given the size of the area,” Gilda figured. “I bet there are only two or three to cover this small hunk of rock.”

Limestone hoped that was the case as she charged forward and hit the ground defenders with a Stone Blast that petrified them before she grabbed one of them and used him as a stone club to smash the other defenders on the ground. Gilda handled the flying defenders by summoning a few shadow imps who landed on the backs of the flying demons and slashed their wings off. When the demons were ground bound, the imps burrowed into the demons’ backs and feasted on their insides. The imps disappeared once they had their fill.

With the defenders gone, Gilda charged her shadow magic into a talon and reached into the spire, feeling around until she could feel a thick lump of flesh before she pulled it out, causing the now dead turret to recede into the ground.

Limestone and Gilda repeated this task two more times as they scoured The Barrens of more of the phallic-looking turrets. It was like Gilda had thought, the district was so small that Satan felt that only three turrets were needed to protect the area from flyers.

With the spires dispatched, Gilda and Limestone headed for Teetering Hope to find the legendary pirate.

Blackbeard greeted the duo as they landed, “Just the two I wanted to see. This place isn’t so big so it shouldn’t take long to take the whole thing.

“Can you explain why this piece of nowhere is so important? What do we gain from this place?” Limestone asked.

“Aye, this place may not seem the best place to be in terms of resources but we don’t need them here, that’s Dane’s problem,” Blackbeard answered. “The Barrens is the perfect staging grounds for all manner of operations against Satan. We just have to secure it.

Limestone and Gilda looked at each other and shrugged since that was likely to be the best answer they were going to get from the pirate.

The first task Blackbeard had for the duo was to locate the glyphs to open the chest on his ship. When asked about the locations of the glyphs, Blackbeard simply claimed that he forgot and that they were on their own in finding them.

Gilda and Limestone quickly found the chest and one of the glyphs next to it. Unsure what to do, Limestone placed a hoof on the glyph and it disappeared. Gilda noticed that the same symbol appeared above the chest three times. She saw one of the symbols above the chest disappear.

Knowing what to do, Gilda looked beyond the ship and saw the same yellow glow nearby. Limestone spread her wings and headed for the light while Gilda did the same except to look around and find the last glyph.

Gilda spotted the last glyph on a small mountain near the second glyph and flew to it. Once she touched it with her talon and Limestone touched the second one, the duo returned to the ship and checked the chest.

They quickly noticed that the last two symbols above the chest disappeared so Limestone attempted to open it. The chest opened to reveal a large cache of Sins. Blackbeard promised to deliver the contents of the chest to Dane for use for the war effort.

Blackbeard directed the duo to the place where they first arrived in Hell, Angel’s End, to defend the area from an onslaught of Satan’s minions. Past experience for the two told them that this would be similar to another virus injection scenario except the objective was more about defending the area until the demons were scared off.

Once they arrived, a large number of Dark Inciters appeared nearby and attacked the two with spells. Gilda used her Aura ability to assume a shadowy form and used her talons to tear through their shields while Limestone perforated the weakened spellcasters with a pair of SMGs. A few flying demons showed up which prompted Limestone to use a Stone Blast to petrify them and send them falling onto the brimstone and shattering them.

When the demons realized they were outmatched by the duo, they soon fled the area and left control of it to their enemies.

After reporting their success, Blackbeard felt that it was time for them to stage an assault on the seat of power of the local Archduke. The pirate pointed them in the direction of a large pit in an area called Forever Sands.

Elaborating on what Dane said earlier about the Marshalling Grounds, in order to conquer the place, they needed to channel their magic into the control stones in the area that looked like pentagons with upside down stars and demonic runes to convert them. Once all of the control stones were converted, they would need to channel their magic into the portal in the center of the pit.

However, converting the stones would force the Archduke out of hiding in order to defend the portal from the intruders. The Archdukes were some of Satan’s strongest demons so taking one down would be a challenge.

Gilda and Limestone checked their ammunition to make sure they were fully armed and ready because they knew they would be in for a tough fight.

Spotting the pit, the duo flew in and started slaughtering demons with their magic and weapons.

Both admitted to themselves that it was strange for two Equestrian races to be using magic that was usually limited to unicorns and alicorns. It was hard to imagine being able to use such powers outside of a virtual simulation.

Gilda and Limestone scouted the pit while knocking flying demons out of the air and looking for the control stones. It didn’t take long to find a pair of red-glowing stones in small caves on opposite sides of the pit. Each took one of the control stones. Gilda sliced through the defenders of her stone with shadowy talons while Limestone petrified her enemies before stomping to shatter them.

With the defenders cleared out for the moment, Gilda and Limestone each placed a talon or hoof on their respective control stones. They could feel a slight tugging of their magics as they channeled into the stones but the feeling only lasted a few seconds before the pentagon images were changed to that of Pinkamena’s cutie mark. Limestone wondered why her sister’s cutie mark was displayed and silently decided to ask her about that later.

A loud crash was heard outside followed by a deep and powerful roar.

Limestone and Gilda looked outside the caves and found a tall, black-armored demon carrying a fiery sword and a buckler made of fire with the reverse star symbol on it and his belt buckle. His horns resembled that of the imps from Blackbeard’s ship.

The duo jumped to the bottom of the pit to confront the Archduke who charged at Gilda with his sword in the air and his shield facing forward. Gilda was able to jump out of the way and fired her SMG at the demon only for the bullets to bounce off him. Limestone hit him with a Stone Blast which petrified him for a second at best.

Gilda attempted to claw at the demon’s flesh with her shadowy claws while the Archduke reacted by bringing his blade down on Gilda. The griffon was able to catch the blade with her shadowy talons before the Archduke kicked her away. Gilda was knocked back several yards because of it.

The Archduke targeted Limestone next and attempted to bring his blade down on her. The mare was able to dodge the strike by rolling to the side and followed up by summoning stone imps which leapt up on the Archduke and started clawing and biting at him. The Archduke unleashed a wave of energy that knocked the imps off him and sent Limestone flying back several feet.

The demon slammed his sword into the ground and unleashed a fiery shockwave at Limestone while she was recovering and sent her upward. The Archduke headed toward her to skewer her on his sword only to be hit from behind by an explosive impact.

The demon turned around and saw Gilda with an RPG. The Archduke reacted by swiping his sword horizontally and kicking up a fiery whirlwind that headed for the Griffon. Gilda had enough time to dive out of the path of the tornado and started shooting at him again. The griffon did notice that the Archduke was getting hurt by the bullets but they were barely doing so at best.

While Gilda continued using clip after clip of SMG ammo, Limestone petrified him with a Stone Blast. While the demon was petrified for that one second, Gilda noticed that the bullets were chipping away at the demon. When he broke free, he showed signs of bleeding from the area where Gilda shot him.

When the demon noticed this, he stomped the ground and sent the duo into the air. Gilda recovered midair but Limestone wasn’t so lucky as she received a blow from the demon’s sword which sent her flying away to the edge of the arena which left a small burn on her right foreleg.

Gilda attempted to get behind the demon and slash him from behind but he blocked it with his buckler.

The battle started turning desperate for the griffon and the pony. Gilda’s attacks were hardly doing much to the Archduke and Limestone was still fighting while the magic of the Alicorn Amulet was working on healing her burn.

The Archduke had finally cornered Gilda and was about to bring his sword down on him when he felt a pair of knives plunge into his back. The blades were quickly pulled out and the culprit pulled away before the Archduke could swing his buckler behind him to hit whoever stabbed him.

Gilda looked around to see Johnny shooting at the tough demon and evading the flaming sword. The Saint yelled at Gilda, “I’ll hold him off. Get back to Dane, he says he has something for you. Whatever it is it better be good enough to take out this sonnova bitch.”

Gilda nodded and spread her wings. She yells at Johnny in reply, “Make sure Limestone doesn’t get killed by this dweeb.” With that, she flew back to the Ultor building.

Gilda arrived at the office building within two minutes and went inside to see what Dane wanted.

“Ah, just the griffon I wanted to see. I spent a fair amount of sins to purchase this weapon from a Sinterpol Armory vending machine. At first, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to buy some protection, but for some reason this SMG’s been whispering your name in my head...literally.” Gilda raised an eyebrow. “Don’t look at me like that. This is Hell, you can purchase just about anything that relates to a vice in the vending machines here. Plus there are no gun control laws down here, obviously.”

Dane pulled out the gaudiest looking weapon Gilda ever saw. The SMG was either made entirely out of gold or it was gold plated. The handle had diamonds in it and there were three coin dispensers on top of it. Next to the coin dispensers was a gold and green sign with diamonds around it that said “CA$H”.

“What is that thing and what does it want with me?” Gilda asked.

“If I were to guess I’d say that’s one of the Seven Deadly Weapons: Diamond Sting, the manifestation of greed. Would have kept it for myself despite its demands but when the thing started heating up and nearly singed my hand, it wasn’t worth keeping. For whatever reason, it wants you to wield it.”

Gilda cautiously walked toward the golden weapon. As she drew closer, she could hear the weapon whisper to her with promises of unimaginable wealth. The griffon shook those thoughts away as she remembered that she needed to get back to Johnny and Limestone to save them from that powerful demon.

As she wrapped her talons around the weapon, something weird happened. The SMG melted in her hands and the gold wrapped itself around both of her talons. The material then shaped itself around her talons and began to harden. After the weapon hardened, each of the new gauntlets that she now wore bore the emblem of her family, the Grimfeathers. The coloring of the emblem changed to that of a black griffon head with a purple background.

Since she was in too much of a hurry to learn about the golden gauntlets she now wore, Gilda ran out of the office and flew back toward the Marshalling Grounds in The Barrens.

Johnny was holding his own against the armored giant, but his attacks were hardly doing much against the demon and he was starting to get worn down from parrying the flaming sword.

The Archduke was about to deliver a heavy strike that Johnny would not be able to block completely before something stopped him from lowering his blade. It was only for a moment before the blade was lowered against Johnny.

Only for the Saint to receive a faceful of currency to the face.

“What the fuck?!” Johnny shouted.

The Archduke was surprised as well as he saw that his sword dissolved into a pool of currency. He felt a slight nudge at his left side from his buckler. He looked to see the griffon from before with a smirk on her face and a golden talon on his shield. The Archduke’s eyes widened when he saw his shield dissolve into currency.

Before the Archduke was able to reproduce his sword and shield, Gilda imbued her shadows into her talons before she slashed wildly at the demon which caused his armor to dissolve which was soon followed by his flesh and soon his very being dissolved into money.

Johnny’s eyes widened at the display. “The hell did you do to him?”

Gilda looked at her new weapons before shrugging. “Dunno, I had no idea these things could do that.”

“Whatever they are, don’t touch me with ‘em. Last thing I wanna know is my personal worth.”

Suddenly, the gauntlets retracted from Gilda’s talons and took the form of a pair of bracelets. “Huh, at least I don’t have to worry about turning everyone to money when I touch them.”

While they were talking, Limestone entered the center of the grounds and channeled her magic into the area. The portal changed from red to blue to complete the conversion of the grounds.

“How you holdin’ up, Limes?” Johnny asked.

“I’m fine, my wounds are healing up and I should be able to finish Blackbeard’s tasks too,” Limestone answered.

“Just don’t push yourself, the last thing I need is your sister turning me into a rug because you got injured,” Gilda said.

Johnny returned to the mindless violence he was committing before At some point, he found and eviscerated Dex during the slaughter.

Back on the ship, Blackbeard informed the duo that Satan was tormenting souls with his magic at Garden of Souls and they needed to save the tormented husks.

The duo quickly flew over and saved numerous husks. Limestone grabbed the ones headed for the ground while Gilda used her shadowy talons to break the shields around the skybound souls and save them. The task was completed in a short time.

Blackbeard thanked the two for their assistance in the task and they were free to help the others. However, there was one last area that was still outside of the rebels’ control.

Gilda and Limestone went to the area known as Feast of Worms to investigate. It was there that they found an altar with the symbol of the Stomp ability on it. Neither were sure on what to do there but Limestone figured that there was no harm in seeing what stomping before the altar would do.

Johnny arrived at that moment to see what they were looking at. He soon got the same idea that the others had and stomped before the altar which caused it to zap him with magic. The Saint started glowing a little with holy light.

The demons soon arrived to investigate the commotion and the situation turned into another Survival scenario where Johnny tested out his new Holy Stomp ability which burned the demons with holy light.

The demons soon fled the area screaming which officially brought the entirety of The Barrens under the Saints’ control.

With their part of the takeover done, Limestone and Gilda returned to Ultor to rest.

A Business Partnership

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Once everyone had flown off to take over the districts of New Hades, Treehugger and Marble stayed behind because Pinkamena wanted them to help Dane secure the Forge District. Treehugger didn’t mind where she was assigned because she had no preference on where she wanted to go..

While Treehugger was considering what to do next, she noticed Marble huddled in a corner looking terrified.

The voodoo pony walked up to the timid pony with a gentle smile on her face. “What’s the matter?” Treehugger asked.

Marble remained unresponsive.

Treehugger hummed. Her assigned partner wasn’t going to be very useful to her if she continued her behavior. She remembered the time when such a thing happened to Moondancer and Pinkamena got her attention by pouring bourbon down her throat. While she didn’t have anything like that on her, she did have something that might be just as effective.

After Zinyak’s defeat, the Saints and Equestrians took advantage of the Empire’s time traveling technology and fooled around in Earth’s past.

Treehugger’s contribution to the time travelling shenanigans was raiding the various pot farms of the world, gathering every strain of cannabis known to man. While she keeps the bulk of her supply in a series of crates in the ship’s cargo hold, she also kept several plastic bags of ground drugs under her bandana on her head.

The voodoo mare pulled out a tiny bowl and placed some of her prepared dust into it. Using a little of her fire magic, she breathed a small flame onto the dust and lit it. She then placed the bowl under Marble’s muzzle and let her inhale the fumes.

“Are you sure that’ll work and not make her too high to help out?” Dane asked.

“I only need her to inhale enough to relax,” Treehugger responded. “Right now, she’s so tense that she won’t respond to anything so I need to loosen her up.” She sighed, “It must be hard being the sibling that nopony listened to, not even her sisters.”

“If she wanted to be heard then maybe she should learn to speak up more.”

Treehugger glared at Dane, “Don’t speak about things you don’t have experience with,” she warned.

The look in Treehugger’s eyes gave the entrepreneur a sobering reminder of his own death and that the mare in front of him was part of that event. He remained silent while the voodoo mare continued holding the burning dust next to Marble.

After a couple of minutes of nothing else, Marble began showing signs of recovering from her catatonic state. It was a couple more before she could find the nerve to speak again. “I...I...I-I-I...W-What did I just do?”

“Huh? You killed a few demons in the street. There’s nothing wrong with that,” Treehugger assured.

“B-But...That’s not me. I’d never be capable of such violence.”

“What was the last thing you remember before you went on a rampage?”

“W-Well, I...I remember Pinkamena t-telling Pinkie to stay in the office building with me since they were going out there to fight all the demons. Pinkamena was one thing but she was experienced with fighting. But when Maud and Limestone got involved, I felt so useless. Even worse was when Pinkie was volunteering to help kill demons. She was so determined to be useful to everypony that when I saw her like that I snapped and started attacking any demon that was nearby. But why would I…?”

Marble soon found herself wrapped by a pair of green hooves as Treehugger did her best to calm her down. “It’s okay, everything will be alright. It will be tough going for a little bit until we can find the way home from here but we are in the home stretch. Once we deal with Satan, we can find the way to Tartarus and get home through there.

“Besides, you’re only trying to help and that’s not a bad thing. If you don’t want to fight then you don’t have to. I think I can handle this district by myself.”

Marble shook her head. “No, I may not like fighting but I can’t hide away and let my sisters handle all of the work. I’m still a Pie and Pies don’t sit back and let others handle all the work.”

“Are you sure?”

Marble nodded, “Though I wouldn’t mind a little more of that stuff to reduce the tension a little.”

Treehugger smiled before she offered the burning dust to Marble again. A few huffs later and she was ready to go. The voodoo mare huffed some as well before they began their tasks.

“Great, just what I’ve always wanted, a pair of burnouts to help me take the place over,” Dane observed, voice dripping with sarcasm. The ponies glowered at the entrepreneur. “Anyway, the first thing I need you two to do is head to Abu Dis and help one of Legal Lee’s clients take some years off his sentence by directing him into traffic. Remember, the more pain he experiences, the easier it’ll be to get him into Heaven.”

As the two were leaving the office building, Marble asked Treehugger a couple of questions, “Are we sure we’re doing the right thing by making someone suffer pain? And who’s Legal Lee?”

“Well, we are helping someone get into heaven so I think we’re doing a kind deed by helping them get there. As for Legal Lee, Pinkamena met him years ago. He was getting rich off of insurance claims by making companies pay lots of money whenever one of their clients got injured. The illegal part of that was that the clients were throwing themselves into cars on purpose. Back then, Playa racked up large insurance claims by throwing himself into traffic while Pinkamena dealt with other clients by running up to them and beating them within an inch of their lives.”

“What?! But that’s so wrong!”

“Yep, but doing these things helped us survive in a world that would have us end up in laboratories being experimented on.”

Marble’s coat became several shades lighter as she paled at the thought of being a test subject. “What a horrible world you and the others were sent to!”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t all bad. Being with the Saints allowed us to get away with a lot of terrible things we had to do to survive and we were able to get a roof over our heads. The food was strange and we ended up eating meat which wasn’t bad.”

Marble nodded blankly, a little stunned at the things her sister and her friends had to do to survive.

The conversation ended when they saw the lawyer nearby holding a strange orb in his hands. He beckoned the duo over to him so he could greet them. “Greetings ladies, allow me to introduce myself, I’m Legal Lee, attorney of Hell. What I hold in my hand is a control orb that is designed to take control of a husk like the ones you see all over the place. This one is attuned to one particular soul. All one of you have to do is hold the orb and use your thoughts to control the client, direct him into traffic and inflict as much pain on them as you can. This client’s wife is in Heaven and he wants to get up there to be with her. He ended up in Hell because he was overzealous with his drug deals and murdered more than a few wheelmen over the years for skimming off the top.”

Marble continued to question whether they were doing the right thing by helping the client but knew that they weren’t going to get far if they kept being nice about taking the place over.

Treehugger took the orb from Legal Lee and took control of the client who turned out to be Tobias. She remembered when he and his wife, Laura, aided the Saints by providing them with a portion of their earnings from their drug deals. Tobias also assisted by being a helicopter pilot while Laura worked with her to identify the main product of the Sons of Samedi. She learned later that the drug had different names on Earth and Equus.

Using the orb, Treehugger subjected the former drug dealer to all sorts of painful injuries by throwing him in front of cars. The task was easy because the drivers were about as bad at driving as Playa was. Tobias was placed in the middle of plenty of crash scenes and had been set on fire many times. The mares could tell that he had broken many bones many times over only for the tormenting magics of Hell to fix them repeatedly.

By the time the orb’s magic ran out, Tobias had been subjected to over a million years of pain. Legal Lee calculated about a million and two hundred thousand years. The lawyer thanked the duo for their time and walked off to work with his next client.

“Are all lawyers this crooked?” Marble asked.

“I think that’s normal for them,” Treehugger responded.

Back at the office, Dane gave them their next task which involved flying around Forge. He directed the duo to a platform hovering over the industrial sector.

However, their plans took a detour when a few red lights rose into the air and headed for them. Marble panicked and swiped her hoof at one of the projectiles which caused a wave of living molten rock to fly at it and wrap around one of the projectiles which caused the missile to explode. Treehugger dealt with the others by throwing fireballs at them which caused them to explode.

“We need to land,” Treehugger ordered. “Whatever is shooting those things is going to keep shooting at us.” Marble nodded and they quickly landed on the ground. With the missiles no longer being fired at them, the duo took a moment to relax. “We need to deal with those things before we handle the rest of Dane’s requests.”

After their short break, Treehugger and Marble raced through the district searching for the turrets that were firing the missiles at them.

The three Spires that Treehugger found ended up with its defenders seared and dismembered by her spectral machete and said weapon slashed through the sacs that contained the hearts of the Spires. Her weapon either impaled the hearts or sliced them in half.

Marble dealt with the remaining two by stomping to cause vines of molten rock to erupt around her and mentally commanding them to crush the demons. She then launched a Molten Blast at the heart sacs of the Spires which burned through the sac and seared the heart within.

With the Spires dealt with, Marble and Treehugger flew up to the platform that Dane had designated. Once they were ready, they took a deep breath to prepare for the flight. Once they flew off the platform, they flew through a substation and a series of pipes and factory smokestacks as well as a concrete tube that was being held by a large crane. They flew through a series of arches and around a number of factory structures before ultimately flying into a cavern where the route ended.

Once the duo returned to the surface and back to Dane, he next wanted them to commit acts of mindless destruction around Forge while avoiding any Ultor property.

Marble obviously didn’t like doing such things but she was determined to not let her reservations stop her from helping.

Treehugger and Marble were given Ultor brand rocket launchers to demolish the district and blast everything and everyone in sight. Treehugger assured her companion that blasting the husks would take years off their sentence of torment and help them get into heaven faster. The duo threw in their fiery and molten powers to add to the devastation they were bringing upon the district.

In the senseless destruction, neither realized that they blew up a certain husk wearing a purple visor.

After a few minutes of mindless violence, the duo soon ran out of ammo and headed back to Dane feeling pretty sure that they had done enough damage.

Some small part of Treehugger took pleasure in the destruction and had to wonder if that was how Pinkamena felt when she was doing such things.

The next task involved saving airborne souls that were being tormented by Satan. Marble saved the ones plummeting toward the ground while Treehugger used her fire magic to break the shields around the skyward souls before saving them.

Once that was done, Dane had one last task he wanted done before he left the two to their own devices to finish the takeover of Forge. While he wanted the local Marshalling Grounds taken care of, Dane felt that the local Extraction facility needed to be captured before then because he wanted that income.

He informed the two about what needed to be done to capture the facility in Black Door. He told them about the three control nodes inside the facility that needed to be taken in order to drive Satan’s minions out.

Once the duo knew what to do, they headed for Black Door and into the facility where they were met with heavy resistance.

In one room, Marble handled the ground forces by unleashing a Stomp that sent a magma wave in all directions before summoning a number of magma tentacles to grip flying enemies and slam them into Dark Inciters, breaking their shields and leaving them vulnerable to the pistol that she was armed with.

With the resistance cleared, Marble stood on the control node long enough for it to change to a blue color to indicate its capture.

In another room, Treehugger had no problems with her demons as she unleashed a swarm of flame imps to harass the ground forces while she used her spectral machete to butcher the flyers, taking the time to use a Flame Blast to shatter the shields on the Dark Inciters in the room. With air superiority, Treehugger roasted the rest of the demons in the room and took the node.

With two nodes under control, Treehugger instructed Marble to claim the last one in the center of the facility while she kept the skies clear and patrolled the rooms to make sure more demons didn’t show up to reclaim the captured nodes.

It didn’t take long for Marble to clear the central room before she stood on the node and waited for the conversion to finish. Thankfully, Treehugger’s defense was enough to keep the reinforcements away from the nodes and the Extraction Facility was successfully captured and ready to be protected by the demons under Dane’s employ.

Once Marble and Treehugger exited the facility, Kinzie landed in front of them. While the duo was surprised to see the normally introverted Saint in front of them, she had to inform them of her progress in the area. “You two, I wanted to let you know that while I was collecting some interesting things in the area, I found the glyphs belonging to one of Blackbeard’s chests in the area. You should check out the chest which should be near the Ultor building somewhere. I’m going to check out the Altars in the area because Johnny said that they give some pretty nice variations to our powers. Okay, bye!”

With that, Kinzie flew off again to continue satiating her obsession with collectibles.

Treehugger and Marble stared at the Saint for a few moments before the voodoo mare snapped out of her trance and nudged Marble to break her trance.

Since she mentioned the chest, the two decided to head back to the Ultor building to find it. It didn’t take them long to find it and open it to reveal that it was full of sin currency. Marble quickly picked up the chest and took it to Dane.

Neither mare was sure what else needed to be taken over in Forge so they asked Dane for advice. Since Kinzie was going to handle the Altars in Burnt Offerings and The Edge, there were only four more areas to take in the district. He pointed out two places that needed to have the demons driven out directly, Avernus and The Runoff, as well as the location of the Marshalling Grounds in Abyssal Gate. He also mentioned a gathering of frat demons throwing a frat party on one of the islands in The Plutonion.

Marble and Treehugger handled the Survival activities first, having no problem driving out the demons. They then headed for the islands to find the frat party and drive out the frat demons.

When they landed in the middle of the party, the demons took notice. “Well look what we have here, a couple of mares that are just in time for the fun to begin,” one said.

“I’ve never fucked a horse before, first time for everything in Hell, am I right?” another said.

Marble froze while Treehugger took to the air above the frat demons. When she noticed that Marble was in danger, she flew back in to save her only for a spiked paddle to slam into her and made her fly over the edge.

As the demons closed in around her while screaming “BROS! BROS! BROS!” Marble’s panic continued to rise until she finally snapped and bucked one of the demons off the edge. The demon dropped a paddle on the ground which the mare, now in a blind rage, picked up and slapped the nearest demon away.

The demons were stunned by the display for a moment before Marble ran to each demon on the island and used the paddle to send them flying for miles. Some of the demons landed near the western edge of the Downtown district while some landed in the Penitentiary in Shantytown.

They were the lucky ones.

The remainder were sent miles away where there was nothing but magma for them to land in.

The last frat demon on the island was not sent flying but Marble hit him so hard that an explosion of blood and viscera was the result.

Treehugger flew back up just in time to watch her companion deal the finishing blow.

With no more targets in sight, Marble started breathing heavily as the rage began to subside. Treehugger waited a few more minutes for her companion to calm down until her sense of reason reasserted itself. When she felt that she might be safe to land, she did so and calmly walked over to Marble and gently put a hoof over her withers.

Marble reacted to this by turning around to face Treehugger and wrapping both forehooves around her, tears in her eyes. The hug was tight, but Treehugger’s body was tough enough to take it. The voodoo mare returned the hug.

During the embrace, Marble and Treehugger heard the sound of clapping nearby. They broke the hug to see who was clapping.

To their surprise, a human-sized, anthropomorphic pink cat with a massive head and green slitted eyes behind a pair of oversized glasses and wearing a white lab coat and green pants was standing nearby clapping his hands in applause. He spoke in a high-pitched, but not as high as Pinkie, voice, “Well done, that was an amazing display of brutality. I would have given you an invitation to my show for that but since Satan is being a total bastard about not letting me have a show down here, I’ll have to settle with giving you this prize instead.” He snapped his fingers and a large chest fell to the ground.

The chest was ornate and made of gold-plated wood. A pair of metal rods went through the four rings around the chest while a pair of cherubim were on top of it while facing each other and the tips of their wings touching each other.

Genki continued, “This is an ancient treasure that the humans of this world have coveted for centuries. I made a deal with The Creator to give the thing to someone who wouldn’t abuse it, but I’m lazy so I decided to give it to whoever impressed me and you, little pony, have definitely made my day with that display. This chest contains an explosive weapon that takes nearby souls and uses them as explosive ammo to blow up your enemies.”

“Oh, um, thank you, but I don’t need this,” Marble politely rejected.

“Eh. Too bad, I’m lazy and I don’t wanna lug this thing around anymore so do whatever with it. By the way, there’s something in the chest for you as well, Treehugger. Since humanity is toast, the Loa of Violence on Earth, Marinette, decided to leave you with her artifact machete. Should be useful down here.” With that, Genki turned around and started walking away.

“Wait!” Treehugger exclaimed. “Where will you go now?”

Genki shrugged, “Now that humanity has run its course, it’s time to scour the universe for the next thing to catch my interest. I will find them then spread my violent teachings, just like always.” Genki quickly faded away as he walked away.

With the man-cat gone, Marble and Treehugger walked over to the chest and removed the lid to reveal what Genki had promised them, a golden grenade launcher with a cherubim on it next to a black machete with a crimson handle. Treehugger picked up the machete and felt a familiar power coursing through her. It was the same as what she felt when she was fighting the Sons of Samedi.

Marble picked up the Ark of the Covenant weapon. To her, the weapon seemed like a fancy gun, but suspected that it was more powerful than she believed.

Treehugger and Marble took flight and headed for the last area of the district left unconquered, Abyssal Gate. Dane had instructed them on the method needed to convert the Marshalling Grounds there to their control.

On the way, Marble flew low and through the streets, allowing her new weapon to consume the souls of husks and demons in order to fuel the power of her Ark. She was warned of the Archdukes who ruled the grounds so she would be sure to put them to use against them.

The duo flew into the pit that housed the Marshalling Grounds and began burning and crushing the defenders wherever they turned up. A few moments of scouting revealed the control stones in the area so each mare headed to one.

The defenders posed no problem for the duo who placed their hooves on their respective control stones. Once the conversion was successful, the Archduke showed up, summoning his flaming sword and his fiery shield.

The Archduke had no idea what he just got himself into before Marble pulled out her Ark and Treehugger pulled out her machete. The demon’s sword clashed with the voodoo pony’s weapon which absorbed the flames of his weapon with each parry. He tried to slam the pony away with his shield which left him open to an attack from behind when an explosive blast struck him in the back. He turned around to face Marble and prepared to attack but that left him open to being stabbed in the back by Treehugger’s machete. The artifact weapon unleashed the fury of the many souls that the Archduke had tortured and slain which tore him up from the inside out.

In mere seconds, the demon banished his sword and shield and collapsed before exploding into a wave of embers.

With the Archduke dead, Treehugger entered the center of the pit and channeled her magic into subverting the Marshalling Grounds to her control.

Treehugger turned to Marble and smiled. “That takes care of this district. I hope the others are handling their districts as well as we did.”

“Yeah,” Marble yawned. “Can we head back to the Ultor building? After all that happened today, I could use some rest.”

Treehugger nodded, “Sure, maybe we can light some dust to help us relax.”

Marble smiled, “I’d like that.”

A Ballad of Sound and Fury

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As the Equestrians exited the Ultor building, Octavia noticed that Marble was huddled in a corner in a catatonic state. However, she had no time to deal with the mare’s hang ups since she had a job to do. She hoped that Treehugger would be able to help her get past her problems.

Vinyl looked concerned for Marble. She knew that taking lives was a serious matter and those who were unprepared to do so but did anyway would be in for a major shock. “Hey Tavi, shouldn’t we try to help her?”

Octavia looked at Vinyl and shook her head, “We do not have time to deal with this I am afraid. We now have Satan’s attention so we must strike at the city in every district simultaneously in order to make sure he spreads his army thin in case he attempts to retaliate.”

“Yeah...I usually leave the strategy to you for a reason. I still feel bad about leaving her like that though.”

“Hopefully Treehugger will be able to help her, likely by introducing her to narcotics. I only hope that Marble does not do anything rash like earlier in the street.”

Using their artifact-granted wings, Octavia and Vinyl took to the air and headed north toward The Den to help Shakespeare take over the district.

On the way to the bard’s nightclub, a missile of red light launched into the air nearby and headed directly toward them.

Acting quickly, Octavia pulled out her sniper rifle and shot the projectile, causing it to explode in midair.

When the offending turret fired another shot which was also countered by the sniper, Octavia activated her Aura to speed up her time before landing hard enough near the turret to activate her Stomp to slow the demons defending it. This left the demons vulnerable to an electrocution by Vinyl.

With the turret defenseless, Octavia performed some precision shooting to shoot the sac and destroy the heart within it. The Spire receded into the ground.

The cellist decided that the remaining Spires in the district needed to be dealt with to make sure their progress was not hindered in the future. To that end, the duo flew all around the district and hunted down their targets. Over the course of their exploration, they found three more Spires which were handled from afar thanks to Octavia shooting the sacs with her sniper rifle.

The demons had no idea what happened when they saw the targets they were supposed to be guarding sink into the ground.

With that nuisance taken care of, Octavia and Vinyl headed for Bard’s Bastille to finally provide assistance to the playwright.

As they landed near the door, the duo saw something that seemed to be in an odd place. A recliner chair with vertical stripes of brown, white and sand colors was placed near the door. Given that it was Hell, they figured that objects mysteriously appearing in strange places was normal for the realm.

Vinyl didn’t mention it but for some reason she had the strange urge to sit on it. She put the thought away for the time being and headed into the club.

The playwright was observing the scene as usual before he spotted the duo and walked over to them before announcing his next task in dramatic fashion, “Lights up, the second act begins. It begins with a destructive storm of chaos in the streets as our music-loving heroines unleash armageddon in the entertainment district using a special weapon that launches explosive frogs.” He gave the duo a pair of frog launchers for their task.

“Uh, what did he want again?” Vinyl asked Octavia in confusion.

“He wants us to cause mayhem in the streets,” Octavia answered with an eye roll.

“Really? Isn’t that more Mena’s thing?”

“We were assigned to take over this district and we shall.”

The duo exited the club and sought out a good place to begin a spree of mindless violence. It wasn’t long before an agent of Sinterpol located them and called in reinforcements. In almost no time, the area was being invaded by monster trucks that were two to three times Celestia’s size. However, they were about as armored as normal cars and they exploded just as easily.

Using the launchers, Vinyl and Octavia blew up a lot of vehicles while causing property damage all over the entertainment district.

For some strange reason, the chair from earlier appeared in the middle of the road behind the duo. Since they were busy with destroying things, Vinyl turned around and tried to blow up the chair...only to find that it disappeared. She shrugged and continued blowing things up.

Vinyl quickly got bored of the frog launcher and pulled out her Wubstep Gun to cause some real damage. That was when the chair appeared again and attacked by lashing out at Vinyl when both mares’ backs were turned and wrapped a length of fabric around her Wubstep Gun and ripped the weapon out of her magic.

Vinyl is surprised by the sudden attack and ground her teeth in anger at the evil piece of furniture. “Hey, give that back! It’s mine!” Vinyl saw her weapon go under the cushion. The DJ leapt at the chair and tried to pry the cushion open only for the fabric tongue of the chair to wrap around her and lift her into the air for a moment before placing her on the cushion.

Confused by the chair’s actions, she looked around to see what it might do next only to find the chair begin to transform. The furniture itself became a cushy black throne decorated with neon lights. The chair then expanded itself in front of her and created a table that developed into one of the most advanced turntables that she had ever seen. The chair developed every piece of equipment that the DJ could ever need or want for her gigs. There was also a place for a snack bar which was empty at the moment which told her that the chair couldn’t produce food and drinks. That wouldn’t be a problem for her in the future anyway if she decided to keep it.

More importantly, she realized that the table could act on her thoughts after she thought about going to help Octavia and it moved toward her marefriend. She put a hoof to her chin as she thought about what the chair could do. With an aggressive thought in her mind, she scratched one of the turntables before her and the device unleashed a powerful sonic blast that sent a monster truck flying far away and into the lava.

With a wicked grin on her face, Vinyl let loose a cacophony of destructive wubs that caused a large number of explosions in a short amount of time.

Octavia noticed her marefriend’s new toy and facehooved. Just when she thought the DJ couldn’t get any lazier, she now had a way to get around while still being lazy. She rolled her eyes as she walked up to Vinyl and groaned. “If that thing comes home with us, you are not riding around that thing while you are indoors, got it?”

“What about the clubs?”

Another eye roll, “Well of course you can ride that thing in a club, but I do not want to hear that you caused injuries with that thing. Am I clear?”

Vinyl nodded, she knew the consequences of pushing Tavi too far and she would rather not end up doing all of the chores for a week if she could help it.

With the area satisfactorily leveled, Vinyl thought about getting out of the chair and it deposited her on the floor before disappearing. She still felt a link between her and the chair so she had a feeling that it would come back if she wanted it to.

The duo returned to Shakespeare who mentioned that the next scene of his second act involved them using their wings to demonstrate their air superiority by flying through a series of narrow spaces.

The task was simple, though Octavia was the one paying more attention when Gilda taught her how to use her wings. Because of this, she had little problems with her flight path while Vinyl ended up crashing into walls and metal beams. Thankfully only one of them needed to have sufficient flying skill to get through the activity.

Shakespeare’s third scene involved fighting off a small army of demons at Satan’s Brilliance in order to claim control over the area. Vinyl’s new Wub Chair was more than enough to make the demons think twice before returning to the area.

The playwright next directed the duo to the district’s Extraction Facility at Seven Gates International. Dane had told them about the facilities that were used to extract the sins from the tormented souls and use those sins to fill Satan’s coffers. To that end, Octavia expected the facility to be heavily guarded.

Once they arrived, Octavia noted the distinct lack of guards at the entrance and had to wonder why Satan would allow anyone to enter the place. Even expecting heavy resistance inside, the assassin would have expected guards at the entrance to warn any guards inside of possible intruders. With his city under attack as it was, Satan was either really overconfident in his guards to keep the important facilities working or he just didn’t care.

Whatever the case, Octavia and Vinyl easily entered the facility and began blasting the defenders who were caught off guard as the assassin expected. Vinyl’s destructive wubs quickly cleared the central room before she entered the west wing and did the same there. Octavia systematically eliminated the demons of the east wing starting with the flyers before moving to the ground forces. Once Dark Inciters entered the facility to quell the disturbance, they were easily overwhelmed by Vinyl’s wubs while Octavia used a temporal blast to destroy their shields before summoning time imps to cling to the Inciters which froze them in time long enough for her to shoot the easy targets in the head.

Taking the nodes in the facility was effortless with the guards cleared out.

Shakespeare wished to see the closing of his second act in the form of the duo heading to Debtor’s Den and saving tormented souls who were being pulled skyward or plummeting to their deaths. Compared to the Extraction Facility, this task was trivial as Vinyl zapped the shielded souls to break the shields and save them while Octavia used her Aura to save the plummeting souls at speeds that would have rivaled Rainbow Dash’s speed.

Back at the club, Shakespeare congratulated the two of them for completing the second act of his live action play about taking over The Den. “As the curtain closes on the second act, so shall the interlude between acts begin. In which the heroic assassin discovers a portal in one of Satan’s Marshalling Grounds. Daring to enter it, she seeks to uncover the secrets of the hidden cavern and emerge from it with the plunder that may help her in the war against Satan.” He then returned to his turntable on the second floor.

Once he was away, Vinyl gave Octavia a confused look, “Why does that guy talk so weird? I got ‘Marshalling Grounds’ but that’s about it.”

Octavia sighed, “Really Vinyl, would it really hurt to learn about theater? He informed us that the portals at the Marshalling Grounds can lead to a hidden cavern and there is something there that might prove useful.”

“Why didn’t he just say that instead of that theater stuff?”

“Same reason that Trixie speaks in the third pony, she just likes doing that.”

Outside of the club, Vinyl and Octavia caught sight of a pair of Tragedy Demons, demons that wore comedy masks, handing a large chest to a pair of flying demons who flew toward Ultor with the chest. The demons saw the pair and gave a casual greeting. Octavia figured that the demons belonged to Shakespeare’s group.

While she was looking up, Octavia spotted Kinzie flying northeast and beyond the coastline. If her knowledge of the map was accurate, there was supposed to be a small island a fair distance away. Whatever was over there, Octavia was certain that an ex-FBI agent like Kinzie could handle it.

Vinyl and Octavia headed for Murmur’s Tomb to assault the Marshalling Grounds there. Once they were overhead, Octavia instructed her partner, “I will head inside and access the portal. I need you to deal with the guards inside and convert the control stones. I hope I will not take long to explore the hidden cavern. I would rather you not take on the Archduke alone if you can help it.”

“Hey, no worries, I can handle myself. These losers don’t stand a chance,” Vinyl said with a cocky smile.

Octavia rolled her eyes, “Fine, but you are going to be in real trouble with me if you find yourself in over your head.

Vinyl and Octavia flew into the pit to face the challenge within. Vinyl engaged the demons stationed in the pit while Octavia figured how the portal worked. Unfortunately, she couldn’t find a way to use the portal without taking control of the place. Since she was unable to access the portal at this point, she assisted Vinyl with taking control of the Marshalling Grounds. The guards didn’t stand a chance between Vinyl’s destructive wubs and Octavia’s precise shooting.

Once the guards were thinned out, The duo proceeded to convert the control stones in the area. The Archduke arrived soon after to try and retake control of the place.

Vinyl knew that her partner would try to convert the Marshalling Grounds to use the portal so she made sure to get the Archduke’s attention by unleashing some painful wubs to distract him and get him to attack her while Octavia made a move on the portal.

Octavia was glad that the tactic worked as she had a feeling that the Archduke was deciding who was the bigger threat; the one who was attempting to take the grounds or the one who was really hurting him. Luck was on her side as he chose to attack Vinyl and retake the grounds later.

Vinyl distracted the Archduke long enough for Octavia to channel her magic into the grounds and claimed them. Once taken, she mentally searched through the active areas that she could teleport to and found that some of the portals were available as well as one other that was near Satan’s castle. Since that portal was the only one not among the other districts, she used the portal to teleport there.

Meanwhile, Vinyl was using all of her effort to dodge the fiery and explosive attacks of the Archduke and his flaming sword. She dodged to the side to avoid a charge which sent him crashing into a wall. He was unaffected because he had his shield in front of him to absorb the impact.

Vinyl dared not bring out her Wub Chair as she was able to move faster without it. She sent Electric Blasts to stun and electrocute him along with her Discharge Stomp and her Electric Aura. She also summoned electric imps to distract the Archduke so she could get some more distance from him.

“Hurry, Tavi…” Vinyl thought.

With her evading his strikes most of the time and her magic proving less effective than she hoped, Vinyl was on the defensive and the Archduke was wearing her down. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could hold out.

Thankfully she didn’t have to wait much longer as the Archduke was preparing another charge. She dodged to the side again and he crashed into the wall again. The last thing he heard was from the pony who disappeared into the portal earlier, “This thing had better be worth it.” That was when he felt a heavy impact. Feeling himself, he discovered a huge hole in his chest. The Archduke collapsed on his knees before he exploded into flames.

The two mares’ eyes widened as they saw a massive crater that formed behind where the Archduke was killed. After Vinyl had mustered the nerve to return her dropped jaw back into place, she shouted at her partner, “Celestia Tavi, what the Tartarus kind of weapon did you get your hooves on!?”

Octavia was at a loss about what just happened. She fumbled with her words to give some kind of explanation, “I...I don’t know, when I entered that cavern, I found a few demons in the area but the thing that stood out was a flaming sword that reminded me of Celestia’s magic. When I got near it, it started moving on its own and floated toward me. I attempted to shoot it out of reflex only for it to melt my sniper rifle and consume the molten material. It did the same to my AT rifle. When I thought it was going to attack, it transformed into this thing instead.”

Octavia was holding a long rifle that appeared to be completely silver colored. The muzzle was emitting a golden flame that showed no sign of going out.

Octavia continued, “When I decided to test this thing out, I had no idea how devastating this thing was. This will take some practice to get used to.”

Vinyl’s cheeky grin returned, “Well, we still have a few more places to visit before we take the place over. Let’s have some fun with our new toys.” Octavia responded to Vinyl’s grin with one of her own.

As the duo left the pit, Vinyl asked Octavia what she would name her new weapon since something like that deserved a name. The assassin settled on Retribution. It was only right since the original form of the weapon was an Archangel’s sword.

Of the three remaining areas left unconquered by the ponies, two of them provided them with the opportunity to practice with their new weapons. Between Vinyl’s widespread destructive wubs and Octavia’s rifle, which she discovered could explosively pierce through numerous enemies in a line before impacting on harder surfaces, the demons easily surrendered the territories to the destructive mares.

During the course of attacking the demons, Octavia also discovered that her rifle could blast through vehicles.

Having the weapons proved to be very beneficial when they attacked a black cathedral on an island east of The Den which was guarded by an Archduke that wasn’t assigned to guard a Marshalling Ground which left Octavia to suspect that there were at least six Archdukes instead of five.

Despite the heavy defense, the Archduke stood no chance against Octavia’s Retribution.

With the more violent aspects of taking the district takeover complete, all that remained was another flight through the district before the takeover of the area was complete.

Shakespeare was pleased with the ending of the third act of the play he was writing about the Saints’ takeover of New Hades and eagerly awaited the beginning of the fourth and final act when the Saints and Equestrians would take the fight to Satan himself and make The Devil pay for banishing him after all that the playwright had done for him as his spymaster.

A Security War

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Pinkamena expressed her concerns over having her marefriend, Moondancer, handle the takeover of the largest district in New Hades. Among all of the districts in the city, she was certain that the Downtown area would take the longest to conquer.

Moondancer only had about a year of experience of urban life to draw upon. She might have lived her life in Canterlot, but spending most of that time going between her house and the library didn’t help much. However, she was determined to help in any way she could.

Plus, she would rather not be the one hanging out with Vlad the Impaler.

Moondancer and Maud watched the others spread their wings and fly off to their respective districts.

Before the unicorn left with Maud, she took one last glance at Marble, who was huddled in a corner unresponsive. Looking at her reminded Moondancer of the way she once behaved after her first kill. She could only trust that she would overcome the ordeal soon. She was paired up with Treehugger so Moondancer had a feeling her friend had something to help the traumatized mare relax.

Moondancer pushed the matter to the back of her mind and flew westward with Maud to meet up with Viola and Kiki.

As they flew into the Downtown district, the pair were assaulted by a pair of glowing red missiles that homed in on them. Moondancer destroyed each shot with a blast of her magic. More shots were fired in their direction which met a similar fate. When a third round was fired at them, the duo had enough of the turrets firing at them and looked around for the Spires that Dane was talking about.

It didn’t take long for them to find the offending spires. Maud unleashed a Blast that turned the defenders into gemstones before she unleashed a stomp that shattered them to pieces. She then stuck a hoof into the vulnerable sac at the base of the spire where she wrapped a hoof around something that felt like an organ and ripped it out. The Spire quickly submerged where it would no longer cause harm.

Moondancer handled the second Spire herself by unleashing a blast of holy magic to burn away the demons before using her telekinesis to feel inside the Spire until she picked up on the heart then ripped it out the soft sac of flesh that housed it.

Ignoring a third Spire that fired at them, the missile being blasted by Moondancer, they reached the parking garage that housed the DeWynter sisters who were hard at work planning their next moves against Satan’s police force, Sinterpol.

The twins noticed the two and Viola groaned, “Pinkamena sent you of all ponies to help us? Does she not understand how important this section of Hell is?”

“I thought you two were supposed to be a pair of business managers, not a pair of bitches,” Moondancer snarked.

“What was that?” Kiki snapped.

“Maybe instead of complaining about the cards you’ve been dealt, you make do with what you get and make the most of it like the strategists you’re supposed to be.”

“Okay then,” Viola took a deep breath. “Let’s find out what we have first, what can you two do?”

Moondancer gave a small smile, glad to be down to business. “Among Pinkamena’s crew, my magic is the most versatile. I know the most spells and some holy magic that can kill demons. In terms of strength, Maud here is as strong as, if not stronger than, Pinkamena. I’m not sure about that right now as their abilities have not been tested against one another recently.”

Viola and Kiki remembered the reports about how Pinkamena broke down an armored door at a bank with her bare hooves and how those same hooves have easily broken bones. If Maud was anything like Pinkamena in that category, they really didn’t want to piss off the expressionless mare.

Kiki had an idea, “How about a test of your destructive abilities first. One of our tanks in Goldenyard…” She pointed to the area on her map. “...is parked there. Make use of it and blow up as much shit as you can. Sinterpol will come running and try to stop you. Destroy as many of their agents and as much of their property as you can.”

Moondancer and Maud found the tank in Goldenyard. It was a large and spikey model as expected of where they were. However, they had a slight problem.

“Do you know how to drive this?” Maud asked.

Moondancer shook her head, “No, I know Pinkie and Vinyl would likely know how to drive one since they have done so before.” she put a hoof to her chin for a moment then shrugged. “Plan B?”

Maud gave a small smile.

Demons ran in terror through the streets as they tried to flee from what should have been impossible to witness in reality.

“That can’t be real!” one demon shouted in disbelief. A pair of Sinterpol trucks sailed over his head.

“It doesn’t matter if it’s real or not, what matters is not being paste on the road. Now run!” another demon shouted.

Moondancer frowned as the demons fled in terror. If they kept running then they wouldn’t be able to cause enough havoc.

The unicorn had an idea. She grabbed one of Satan’s orientation guides that was lying around and cast a “Want it, Need it” spell on it and threw it at a street intersection. She kept a hoof over Maud’s eyes to make sure her partner didn’t become affected.

The spell worked like a charm as demons and husks from all over the area, including a certain husk with a purple visor, were drawn to the tome and began fighting over it like a pack of wild beasts. The demons and husks tore at each other to get their hands on the tome.

It was then that Moondancer removed her hoof from Maud’s eyes. The earth pony looked at her partner who nodded. She then placed both of her forehooves around the barrel of the massive tank that she was holding above herself like an oversized club and slammed it down on the mass in the intersection, splattering the entire area in a wave of blood, including on themselves.

Moondancer was glad that she wasn’t wearing her sweater when they landed in Hell because it would have been completely ruined by now. Maud’s smock however, was not so lucky.

Both ponies did the best they could to wipe the blood off of their faces since they didn’t have any water or rags to do so. Still, Moondancer smirked triumphantly as she thought back to the other mare who cast the “Want it, Need it” spell years ago. “Looks like I found a better use for that spell than you did, Twilight,” she mumbled.

Moondancer removed the enchantment from the book once she rummaged for it through the pile of blood and viscera on the road.

“I think that’s enough of a demonstration,” Moondancer decided. This prompted Maud to throw the tank away and head back to the garage with her partner.

The tank landed on an a certain, unfortunate and purple visor-wearing ghoul who was at the wrong place at the wrong time when he respawned.

Viola and Kiki were stunned when they heard about what happened. They had counted on the likelihood that Moondancer and Maud had no idea how to drive a tank and figured that they would try which would have amused them. They could have also left the tank where it was and blow things up the old fashioned way.

They didn’t count on Maud actually being able to lift the tank and carry it around like a melee weapon.

The twins were warned that the earth pony was strong but the words did not do justice for the pony whose strength would have given the likes of Hercules a run for his money.

Moondancer and Maud helped to reset their dropped jaws which helped them recover from their shocked state.

“I...Wha-...How…?” they said in unison.

Well...sort of recover.

“Don’t lose your heads over this,” Moondancer advised. “Let’s just get to the next part.”

Once the twins regained their composure, they had the two perform an aerial reconnaissance of the north part of the city. While they would have asked them to inspect one of the altars in the district, Johnny inspected it earlier so there was no point in doing that anymore.

“Before we go, could you tell us how you ended up being hunted by Sinterpol?” Moondancer asked.

Kiki started, “After Killbane snapped my neck for defying him after Phillipe was killed, I ended up in Hell. Seeing the state of the place, I decided to open up my own security firm called Cerberus Securities.”

Viola continued, “The firm didn’t really get off the ground until I arrived when the Earth was destroyed. Still not sure how that happened.

“Evil alien overlord with too much time on his hands,” Moondancer interrupted.

Viola rolled her eyes then continued, “With me and Kiki running the market, we topped Sinterpol in no time.”

Kiki continued, “That was until someone at Sinterpol got wise to us and forced us into hiding in this parking garage. We need to find out who sold us out and make them regret fucking with us.”

Moondancer nodded in understanding while Maud continued to watch the conversation unfold. “So you want us to help you uncover the rat or rats who sold you out?”

“That would be a good start, then we can find a way to effectively deal with them,” Viola said.

With their objective clear, Maud and Moondancer flew away from the garage to scout the area while struggling to fly through narrow spaces and climb tall buildings by running up them.

While Gilda gave her friends a crash course in flying, that was all of the experience Moondancer and Maud have gained so flying was a challenge for both of them. They also had to deal with two more Spires that were harassing them as they explored the northern part of Downtown..

However, Maud was able to make out something from her limited vision of the ground. She moved as close as she dared and saw an elderly man in a black suit talking to a few Sinterpol demons in an alley. Upon closer inspection, the man appeared waterlogged despite being in a place where water didn’t exist. Maud stayed hidden while she listened in.

“So explain to me how an entire squadron of demons were unable to capture a pair of women who should not have been able to defend themselves well enough to thwart your efforts,” the man inquired with a calm tone.

“Well, you see, we ran into some trouble from a couple of ponies.”

The waterlogged figure stayed silent for a minute before speaking again, “Are you listening in on some sort of telepathic communication? Because I am still waiting for the reason why you were unable to stop a couple of horses and capture the twins.”

“You don’t understand, one of these ponies fired spells like she was some sort of wizard and the other was much stronger than anything her size should have been capable of.”

“I tire of your incompetence, I expected more from Satan’s elite police force. I am surrounded by idiots, my nephew was just as useless as you. In the least he’s in Heaven so I don’t have to look at him anymore. Get out of my sight.”

Nothing more was said so Maud returned to Moondancer to finish the aerial patrol. She relayed the information to Moondancer. When they returned to the twins, they asked about the waterlogged man in a black suit.

“That sounds like William Sharp. He’s the only man in Hell who always looks like he’s soaked,” Kiki noted.

“Who is that?” Moondancer asked.

Viola answered, “Back when the Saints were formed by Julius Little, three gangs had control over Stilwater: The Vice Kings, Los Carnales and The Westside Rollerz. Sharp used to be the mastermind behind the Rollerz, acting behind his nephew, Joseph Price. When the Saints started moving against the Rollerz, they planted a mole among them which allowed the Saints to sabotage their rackets. When Sharp caught on, he attempted to kill the mole by stuffing her in the trunk of her own car and sink it into the sea.”

Kiki continued, “However, that attempt was thwarted when Pinkamena turned the tables and sent him into the sea instead.”

“She then went for overkill by having him reanimated as a zombie where he was repeatedly subjected to lethal abuse.”

Moondancer failed to hold back a giggle while Maud frowned a little. “My sister is not known for being merciful.”

“Wait, Pinkamena is your sister?!” Viola asked. Maud nodded. “I should have guessed from the freakish strength.”

Maud didn’t mind the ‘freakish’ comment, she had heard it all before and she knew that her family was strange. It didn’t take a genius to know that her difficulty in expressing herself made her difficult to understand and Pinkie’s overly cheerful nature made up for the gloomy atmosphere the rest of the family put out.

Kiki decided to get back to business, “The next thing we need you to do is to clear the demons out of Azazel’s Court. We need to put pressure on Sinterpol and the more areas we take from them, the easier it will be to out our enemies.”

Maud and Moondancer proceeded to Azazel’s Court and drew the attention of the Sinterpol agents to them. Maud grabbed monster trucks and hurled them into other trucks or groups of demons who were trying to eliminate the ponies. Moondancer used holy magic to incinerate the demons while using her telekinesis to use trucks like weapons.

It didn’t take much to force the demons to abandon the area, leaving Cerberus Securities to move in.

The duo returned to the twins to receive their next objective. Viola briefed them, “Taking Downtown from Sinterpol is already a difficult endeavor, we don’t need them receiving assistance from Satan’s forces. We need you to shut down the Marshalling Grounds in The Pride and take out the Archduke controlling the area.”

Kiki continued, “While you were out, Johnny came by and brought us one of Blackbeard’s chests. When we opened it we found something that might be useful to you.”

Kiki pulled out the item from where she stored it. Moondancer was presented with a strange looking shotgun. The stock and fore-end was wrapped up in soft pink padding with fur at the ends while the ammo clip had a crochet lace trim wrapped around it. There was also what appeared to be a potion atop the weapon. A few sniffs told the scholarly mare that it was a powerful love potion.

It was as she was smelling the potion that a pink light enveloped the weapon. Moondancer quickly backed away but it didn’t help as the light shot a beam at her horn which enveloped it in a bright pink aura. Her eyes also glowed the same color and she was left in an unresponsive state for a minute.

Maud poked at Moondancer’s barrel with a hoof. “Hey.” After a few pokes, Moondancer shook her head to break her trance. Maud poked her a few more times to be sure she was aware of her surroundings again which earned her a deadpan stare from the unicorn that said “Really?” Maud smiled a little once she was satisfied.

“Are you alright?” Viola asked.

Moondancer took a deep breath then let it out before responding, “Yeah, I’m alright. What was that?”

“No idea. That’s never happened before.”

As Moondancer thought about what happened, her thoughts were turned to a number of spell matrices that she had never learned before. Many of them seemed like her attack spells but there were added effects to them. She wasn’t sure what the added effects would do so she would have to test them out in battle.

The shotgun suddenly glowed again and transformed itself into a smaller, shapeless form and darted for Moondancer. Before she could react, the mass wrapped itself around her horn and hardened into a pure silver ring with demonic runes etched into it. Moondancer gasped at the sudden attack on her horn. Her surprise turned into confusion as she felt no pain around her horn. On the contrary, she felt as if her magical power had greatly increased.

The ring vanished but the feeling of empowerment was still present. Moondancer couldn’t tell whether the ring was there or not because she didn’t feel a thing on her appendage.

The DeWynter Sisters stared at the ponies as the events transpired before they looked at each other. “We really need to have a talk with Blackbeard about keeping strange items in his chests…” Viola commented.

“Agreed,” Kiki said.

Moondancer and Maud decided to leave the garage before more weird events happened and headed for the pit at The Pride, shooting down any Spire-launched missiles along the way. Moondancer mentally noted to deal with the rest of the Spires in the district after they cleared out the Marshalling Grounds.

Maud used her new gem magic to turn the demons in the pit into gemstones which shattered and turned into currency. The rocktologist sighed in disappointment because while the currency gained from the demons would have funded her studies, she was pretty sure the currency was not convertible to bits.

It was while Moondancer tested her new spells that she saw the effects of the added matrices. The spells that didn’t kill them outright ended up changing the behavior of the demons in an interesting way.

“Please! Burn me again! Let me feel your love!” one demon begged.

“Zap me again! I’ve been a really bad demon! I need to be punished!” Another begged.

Based on the demons begging for pain, Moondancer quickly deduced that the matrices turned those she inflicted pain upon into complete masochists. Either that or they were masochists in the first place.

Once the control stones were converted, the area’s Archduke arrived and was ready for a fight.

What the Archduke wasn’t expecting was facing off against an army of enamored demons who were charmed into doing anything that Moondancer commanded them to. Between the two mares and the growing army of charmed demons as more came in to be affected by Moondancer’s magic, the Archduke soon found himself greatly outnumbered.

While he was able to resist the effects of Moondancer’s lust magic, that didn’t matter as he was getting attacked from every angle by his own former allies. Unable to withstand the demon horde, he collapsed on the ground and exploded into flames.

With the Archduke dead and not wanting to find out how long the charm spell lasted, Moondancer had the demons fight each other to the death while she and Maud finished taking control of the Marshalling Grounds.

One demon remained after the massacre who didn’t last long before he was finished by Maud who shattered his skull between her forehooves.

With the Marshalling Grounds taken, Maud and Moondancer returned to the twins to find out what else they needed to do to take control of Downtown.

Viola and Kiki were mildly surprised that Moondancer learned some lust-based spells, only because it made sense since the weapon that infused itself with her was one of the Seven Deadly Weapons; particularly the Lust weapon, Boom Chicka.

The twins quickly returned to more important matters as they needed the rest of Downtown scouted from the air to locate any other conspirators like Sharp.

Before they proceeded with the investigation, Moondancer and Maud took care to eliminate the last four Spires in the district. Moondancer charmed the guards to perform the task for her.

“You are really getting into that new magic,” Maud commented.

“Yeah, it’s really tempting to use, especially given my proclivity toward BDSM,” Moondancer agreed.

“You aren’t planning on using that magic against your friends at some point, right?”

Moondancer chuckled, “I know that cliche from novels. I know that magic like this is a good way to lose friends if abused and I don’t want to lose my friends. I’ll use thoughts like that to keep me from going too far with it.”

Maud nodded before the two separated to scout the central and southern parts of the Downtown district. While little things of note were seen during their route, each mare did spot an interesting meeting between demons and more souls who were not turned into husks.

Maud spotted what looked like an amalgamation of two people next to a man wearing a yellow and black suit while carrying a pair of katanas. Maud had been to Neighpon before during her travels and she recognized Neighponese craftsponyship.

Maud had no idea how the amalgamation came to be but noted that she would ask Viola and Kiki later.

Moondancer had similar results, spotting a meeting between some demons and a man who she recognized as Killbane. The interesting thing she noticed about him was not the fact that he had his mask on despite it being incinerated by Treehugger, but the fact that he looked like he was stitched together down the middle was more interesting. There was no mistaking it, that stitched wound was where Pinkamena cut him down the middle with a chainsaw.

It made sense to the scholarly unicorn, the souls who have likely conspired against the DeWynter sisters were brought to Hell in a form that was reminiscent of the way they died, or at the least when they died at the hooves of Pinkamena.

Moondancer regrouped with Maud who told her about the meeting she saw. While Moondancer had to wonder how someone could become a fusion of two people when they died, she had a feeling that they now knew who sold the DeWynters out.

The duo returned to the garage to relay the news. The identity of Killbane shocked the pair but quickly regained their composure to explain the other two.

Kiki explained, “The fused person you saw was likely Kazuo and Shogo Akuji. After the Saints fell apart when Playa fell into a coma and the Saints disbanded, three new gangs took over years later. Among them were the Ronin, an offshoot of the Japanese Yakuza that wanted to make a name for themselves in America. The gang was originally led by Shogo but when the Saints were reformed by Playa and Pinkamena, it was when the Saints started moving in on their turf that Shogo’s father, Kazuo, decided to take the reins from his son out of disappointment. Neither expected Pinkamena to be clever enough to outwit them.”

Viola continued, “The other person who was with them was likely their enforcer, Jyunichi. He’s a skilled user of those weapons. Pinkamena captured Jyunichi and killed him in a reenactment of the last scene of a movie that ended with a number of renegade swordsmen committing ritual sacrifice called seppuku. Jyunichi probably has a large wound in his gut where Pinkamena made him commit suicide.”

Kiki continued, “As for the Akujis, Pinkamena buried them alive together. The fact that their bodies were buried in the same casket may have led to their souls fusing together, resulting in what you saw.”

“Killbane?” Maud asked.

Moondancer fielded that question, “Pinkamena and a chainsaw.”

“It would explain why and how Sinterpol got the drop on us,” Viola mused. “Killbane was part of the Syndicate with us, Matt and Phillipe. He would have info on us and could use it against us.”

“He knows how cunning we can be and knows how to counter that,” Kiki continued. “The best plan we can use right now is to simply take the territories through brute force. If we storm the remaining areas then we can force them into the district’s Extraction Facility and finish them there.”

Viola continued, “Our Cerberus agents will make sure the Akujis and Sharp don’t try anything clever to sneak out of our net.”

With a plan in place, Maud and Moondancer began taking the remaining territories in Downtown by forcing the demons out.

Taking Angel’s Tears was a different matter as Legal Lee signaled the mares to him so they could assist him with a client. He explained the purpose of the orb and the necessity to subject them to abuse.

Ever the fan of torturing masochists, Moondancer volunteered for the task.

The client was Luz, Lee explained that she was an unfortunate soul who went from the girlfriend of one of the Carnales leaders to the girlfriend of an older man who represented the Colombian Cartel to being left behind as a Colombian drug mule. She was still paying off an immense debt to the Colombians, most of that payment went to clothes shopping, when the Earth blew up. The woman was nothing but a pitiable parasite who had no idea how the real world worked because she chose to remain ignorant.

Moondancer took control over Luz’s body and subjected her to millennia worth of torment by making her play in traffic and setting her on fire.

Moondancer was disappointed when the orb ran out of power and her fun ended. Still, it was a fun diversion and the destruction still landed the area in their hooves.

In the heart of Downtown, Rebellion Square, the demon fraternity was hosting another pledge run to recruit more frat demons. That meeting turned into a massacre as the demons were assaulted by a mare who used a spiked paddle to send them flying miles away while others were fleeing from what looked like a haunted floating paddle that was swatting more of their number away with similar results. Some of the frat demons were charmed into assisting the mares by batting their own people far away.

Moondancer had Maud close her eyes as she placed a “Want it, Need it” spell on her own paddle which drew the frat demons to it which resulted in more demons hit per swipe. Maud resisted the effects as best as she could so she could bash the last of the frat demons in the area in one strike.

Once the demons were gone, Moondancer removed the enchantment and they moved on to other areas.

Three of the remaining four remaining areas of Downtown were forcefully taken over by the mares as they used their weapons and Lust magic to kill or make demons kill each other.

Once only the Extraction Facility remained, Maud and Moondancer returned to the twins to confirm if their plan worked. Viola and Kiki confirmed that Sharp, Akuji, Jyunichi and Killbane have been forced into the Extraction Facility.

With that part of the plan successful and the enemy cornered, Moondancer used one of the Cerberus computers to create a set of programs which she saved onto a small storage device. Using the info about them from the Cerberus network, she was able to tailor the programs to each of the conspirators. Since it worked for Zinyak, it should work for a few old enemies.

With Cerberus agents surrounding the Extraction Facility, Maud and Moondancer entered the building. The conspirators were spotted in the central chamber, looking at the entrance and ready for their last stand.

Killbane was surprised to see Moondancer of all ponies invading their last bastion. “Wait, isn’t that Pinkamena’s girl?”

“It would be best to capture her then make an example of her to Pinkamena,” Kazuo suggested.

“Why? We should just kill them now so we have less ponies to deal with,” Shogo suggested which was met with a slap from the hand that his father controlled.

Jyunichi drew his katanas and prepared to kill one of the mares. Maud charged forward to engage the enforcer. Maud dodged a vertical slash by rolling to the side. Before Jyunichi could raise that sword again, Maud placed a hoof on it before using her other forehoof to punch the side of the blade, shattering it.

The enforcer was surprised by the mare’s strength, Maud capitalized on the surprise and punched him to the other side of the room where he was planted into the wall. The enforcer quickly fell unconscious.

“That pony’s surprisingly strong,” Killbane noted. “Let’s see how she handles this.” Killbane whistled and a large number of demons entered the room to engage the ponies. The ambush was short-lived as Moondancer zapped the demons with arcing electricity infused with Lust. The Dark Inciters avoided the spell but lost their shields which left them open to a few Lust-infused fireballs. In a short time, the conspirators’ minions turned against them.

The demons were nice enough to take over the facility for the ponies before beating Sharp, Akuji and Killbane until they fell unconscious.

Moondancer then used the storage device to pull the souls of the conspirators into it and into the special nightmare programs made just for them.

William Sharp ended up in a cheap retirement home where he was visited daily by Joseph Price as well as Donnie and Lin, who was married to Donnie in that simulation.

Jyunichi was placed in a simulation where he would endlessly relive his failures before being forced to commit suicide repeatedly before a disappointed Kazuo Akuji.

Kazuo himself was placed in a simulation where he lived with Shogo who was not only dressed in a woman’s kimono, but he was also married to Jyunichi.

Shogo’s simulation was a simple one. His entire simulation was him trapped in a casket buried six feet beneath the surface and he couldn’t even die of asphyxiation.

Killbane’s simulation was one where he would spend his eternity as a pet gimp to Viola and Kiki.

Back in the real world, Viola and Kiki thanked the two mares for their assistance and swore to make Cerberus Securities the policing agency that Hell needed.

Maud and Moondancer headed back to Ultor, their task complete and ready to rest after such an ordeal.

The Butcher, The Baker and The Impaler

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Pinkie and Pinkamena left the Ultor building to head toward Shantytown to assist Vlad the Impaler, the former feeling sad about leaving her sister Marble in the state she was in.

As they started heading off, a couple of Spires fired a pair of missiles at them. Pinkamena quickly pulled out a pistol and shot the missiles into exploding in midair. Since the area was still part of Marble’s and Treehugger’s area, she chose to ignore the turrets.

Before she could think about her traumatized sister further, Pinkie’s stomach growled, reminding her that she hadn’t had anything to eat for a few hours. She had some cake from the party earlier but that had run its course.

Before she reached into her mane for a cupcake to fill her up, her eyes spotted a fast food taco restaurant. After her sister had exposed her body to the taste of fast food meat, she had started taking a liking to it. She had also tried tacos from Stilwater and Steelport and took a liking to that kind of food.

With her decision made, Pinkie asked her sister, “Hey Mena, can we check out that taco restaurant? I haven’t eaten for a few hours.” She pointed at the location.

Pinkamena looked at where her sister was pointing, then looked at her sister with a raised eyebrow. “Seriously? I don’t think you want to be eating food made in Hell. It would probably give you dysentery.”

“We should at least check it out. Maybe the one making them was one of those who made a deal with Satan to make awesome tacos in exchange for his soul.”

Pinkamena rolled her eyes. “Fine, we’ll see if they have anything edible.”

The two pink mares descended to the ground hear the Tacos Malos restaurant and approached what appeared to be a drive through to look at the menu.

A familiar voice came through the intercom installed on the board, “Welcome to Tacos Malos, would you like to try the Malo Special?”

“Dane?” Pinkamena asked.

“Yes, now keep your voice down. You don’t want Satan’s minions to hear us.”

“Suddenly I can imagine that this will be your life whenever you hit rock bottom,” Pinkamena snarked.

“Hardy har har,” Dane replied dryly. “Look, I’ve been using the Tacos Malos in the city as dead drops for supplies in the war against Satan. Each establishment has a piece of a powerful weapon that comes in three pieces. Take the one here and go find the others.”

“Can I get a taco?” Pinkie asked.

“You don’t want the fucking taco…” Dane answered with irritation.

The nearby drive through window opened and a piece of machinery fell out of it. Pinkie shrugged and picked up the object and stored it in her mane.

As they spread their wings and flew away, Pinkie pouted. “What kind of taco store doesn’t sell tacos?” she grumbled.

Pinkamena groaned, “If we try another taco shop, will you shut up about the tacos?”

Pinkie’s smile quickly returned, “Okay!”

Remembering Dane’s map of the city, Pinkamena remembered another Tacos Malos in The Den. Pinkamena was glad that Octavia and Vinyl were already working on disabling the Spires in the area. Because of the efforts of the musical duo, the flight to the second taco store was uneventful.

Approaching the electronic board, Dane’s voice was heard through the intercom once again, “Welcome to Tacos Malos, may I take your order?”

“I want a taco,” Pinkie demanded.

“You don’t want the fucking taco. I told you before,” Dane said with clear frustration in his voice.

“I’m pretty sure I said that I want a taco.”

The sound of something hitting something else repeatedly was heard over the intercom. Pinkamena decided to intervene before the executive did something he might regret. “Look, I’ll talk Pinkie out of the tacos, just give me the weapon part and we’ll see you when we get to the last taco store.”

Dane didn’t reply as the window opened and another mechanical component was tossed out. Pinkamena grabbed the object and stored it in Pinkie’s mane.

“Why don’t these places sell tacos? The service here is terrible,” Pinkie complained.

“Okay, first, welcome to Hell. Of course the service is terrible. It comes with the territory. Second, you really don’t want to eat the tacos here. The place is called ‘Tacos Malos’ which literally translates to ‘Bad Tacos’. Remember the ‘baked bads’ incident? I’m pretty sure the tacos here will leave you bedridden for a while and I’d rather you stay healthy until we get back home at least.”

“Aww…” Pinkie pouted, clearly disappointed.

With the diversion taken care of, the pink duo resumed their flight to the slums of Hell. While the path was clear to Shantytown, Pinkamena had to deal with three Spires once they approached Shantytown’s airspace and on the way to Vlad’s castle. Pinkie distracted the guards by using a Party Blast that compelled the demons guarding the turrets to dance while Pinkamena used her Knightmare to splatter the Spires. The guards were quickly dismembered afterward.

Vlad was spotted atop one of the towers of his castle with his arms crossed, looking down at the slums with a disapproving look in his eyes. The famous murderer noticed the two ponies land behind him and approach.

Without looking back, Vlad spoke without warning, “That fraternity that defiled my castle will pay dearly for their transgressions. Until then, we have a district to conquer. One of Vogel’s associates wishes for your assistance in helping one of his clients pay his debt of torment.” He pointed in the direction of a neighborhood called Goat’s Heart. “While you are out there, it may be in your best interest to eliminate the remaining Spires in the district. If memory serves, six were deployed in this area. I saw you eliminate three of them.”

Pinkamena knew that Vlad had a point, those Spires were a menace. The last thing she needed was to have them catching her off guard and knocking Pinkie out of the sky.

Taking Vlad’s advice, Pinkamena flew around the slums and hunted down the remaining Spires. Once again, Pinkie distracted the guards by forcing them to dance while Pinkamena splattered the turrets. While she wanted to try something different with the last three spires, she knew that her Vorpal Blade was not big enough to cut through the thick fleshy exterior. She quickly got bored of dealing with Spires.

With the skies cleared, Pinkamena and Pinkie headed for Goat’s Heart to talk to Legal Lee.

The lawyer greeted them as they approached, “Hey, there’s my golden ticket to fortune. I’ve been meaning to ask, was that explosion that sank part of Stilwater your doing?”

Pinkamena recalled the incident before shaking her head, “Nah, that happened because Pinkie here planted a bomb too close to a fault line and set it off when she learned that we were moving to Steelport. She wanted to protect the secrets of her party cave but didn’t realize what would happen.”

Pinkie’s ears drooped and her mane sagged a little as she remembered her actions that day.

Lee smiled at the party pony, “Well, I should be thanking you, Miss Pinkie. Thanks to you, I was able to file so many insurance claims that day that I cleaned out every insurance company in Stilwater. I was made a billionaire before Earth was blown up.”

“But what about those people?” Pinkie asked.

“The hospitals that survived the cataclysm treated most of those who survived. They couldn’t save everyone but many still survived.”

“Oh, that’s good...I think.” Pinkie was still sad that her reckless actions ended so many lives that day. There was nothing Pinkamena could do to cheer her sister up this time. She would have to work through her issues.

“Anyway, that was then. Remember the police chief Troy?”

Pinkamena’s attention returned to Lee, “Yeah, I remember him. I decided to spare him since he was useful enough.”

Lee held a glass orb in front of Pinkamena’s face. “Well, I need you to use this orb to take control of him and subject him to some good old insurance fraud.”

Without saying a word, Pinkamena quickly snatched the orb and started playing around with the husk of the police chief and making him get crushed, burned, bashed and occasionally smacked in the head by a passing demon’s weapon when Troy was getting in his personal space.

Soon, the orb’s power ran out and so did Pinkamena’s fun. She handed the orb back to Lee and the two headed back to Vlad’s castle.

Back at the tower, Vlad instructed the ponies to fly around the district and get an understanding of the area and find out anything they could about the frat demons. “I need information on the fraternity that desecrated my castle. I need to find out if there is anything about them I can use to make them suffer for their transgressions.”

While Pinkamena and Pinkie were flying around the slums in search of information, there were few things of note. One of the important things they spotted was a gathering of the frat demons at Glutton’s End which was next to a Tacos Malos, the last unvisited one in the city. They also spotted Johnny and Kinzie in the area scouring the district for tomes and checking out the sights.

Once they had the lay of the land, Pinkie and Pinkamena returned to Vlad who had a treasure chest next to him. The mass murderer made a note to give it to Dane at his earliest convenience.

“While I would like for Satan’s armies to suffer the loss of their Marshalling Grounds, my desire for revenge burns hotter. Those fraternity demons must pay. Fly to their gathering and make them suffer.”

With the order given, the duo headed for Glutton’s End and landed in the middle of the gathering.

“Hey look,” one of the frat demons said, “Some tiny horses have come to join the party. Maybe they’ll give us pony rides.”

Pinkie looked at Pinkamena with concern. “Huh? But I’m not a whorse.”

“Don’t worry about it, Pinkie. Go talk to Dane over at the taco shop. I’ll handle things from here,” Pinkamena assured.

Pinkie nodded and ran to the nearby Tacos Malos while Pinkamena sliced the insulting frat demon in two with her Vorpal Blade then took his paddle and started knocking the demons far away.

Meanwhile, Pinkie approached the electronic menu and waited for Dane to speak, “Welcome to Tacos Malos. We have a special today, half off for a bundle of ten tacos.”

“Why do you keep offering tacos when you wont give any tacos?” Pinkie asked.

“Because it’s a front. Just take the damn weapon and for the love of God, stop asking me for tacos.”

“But I want a taco.”

Dane screamed.

Pinkie giggled, “Just joking.”

The window opened and another weapon component fell out. Pinkie grabbed it and placed it in her mane.

It was then that her mane started acting crazy, as if a cat and a mouse were racing around in there. She reached into her mane and pulled out the offending gray cat and brown mouse before letting them go before the cat chased the mouse down the street.

Pinkie’s mane rumbled again and when she reached inside, she pulled out the weapon components that were trying to fuse themselves with her party cannon. While she tried to pull the parts away from her cannon, it was no use and the cannon transformed into a small whistle that bounced from the ground and into her hooves.

Thankfully, she had spare cannons.

Pinkamena was still bashing frats so Pinkie decided to try out her new whistle to get their attention.

What happened was a lot more terrifying. Upon blowing into the whistle, the area was swarmed by a swarm of ravenous parasprites that started to bite, rip and tear into the clothes and flesh of the frat demons. Pinkamena quickly noticed the swarm and ran to Pinkie, hoping she had an answer since the swarm came when she blew the whistle.

“What the Tartarus just happened, Pinkie? Did you have anything to do with this?”

Pinkie dropped the whistle out of fright and a little guilt but the object formed a string around the mare’s neck and dangled from it. “I...I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

Pinkamena put a hoof over her sister’s withers. “Pinkie, it’s okay. Remember, we’re fighting for our lives to save our friend and find our way home here. We’re fighting an enemy that lacks morals; friendship won’t work here. Besides, I’m pretty sure anything that dies down here just comes back later. I mean, where do you go when you die in an afterlife realm like Hell? We’re dealing with an army that’s already dead. Death itself can’t touch this realm. So, even if you summoned a swarm of ravenous parasprites that feasted on them until bones remained, they’ll just come back later. So in a way, we can kill without consequence.

“Only problem is that we’re still mortal so if we want to go home, we can’t die here or we get bound to this realm, understand?” Pinkie nodded. “Good, now let’s--”

Pinkie’s Pinkie Sense alerted her to an incoming attack aimed at her. She shifted her position slightly but she was still hit by a bullet. The impact threw the party pony into the front wall of the Tacos Malos.

“Pinkie!” Pinkamena yelled. She quickly turned her attention to where the bullet came from and saw a familiar figure emerge from the nearby shadows.

“As if I had enough shit from one pink bitch, now I have two and more of you fucking horses killing me everywhere I go. Well no more. I’m endin’ you right now, Pinkamena.”

Pinkamena glared daggers at Dex who was carrying the weirdest looking pistol she had ever seen. It had two barrels along with a brass and ruby device with a laser targeting system within it. The stock was a segmented metallic tail twisted like a ram’s horn. A jawbone is seen under the barrel.

“I ain’t gonna fall for a cliche like a villain’s monologue so I’m just gonna shoot you now. Goodbye, bitch.” Dex pulled the trigger.

*click*

“Huh?”

*click* *click* *click*

“Why the fuck won’t this thing fire? Is it jammed?”

Maniacal laughter could be heard from the gun.

“What the fuck?!”

“Thanks for playing the role of the delivery boy husk, but you must be more fucked up in the head than I thought if you believed that I would attack my true master,” the gun said.

“What the fuck are you talking about? You’re just a weapon; a tool.”

“And you’re just a husk who had his sins extracted a long time ago along with any power you might have had coming to Hell. Now you’re dried up with a head bigger than your potential.”

Once it said that, the stock moved, assumed a bladed form, and sliced Dex’s hand off. Free from its carrier, the weapon slithered to Pinkamena who was confused as the weapon wrapped itself around her right forehoof.

The weapon briefly analyzed its bearer’s mind and spoke, “Ah yes, a powerful mare destined to do great things. You deserve a weapon that is fit for a queen.” It chuckled. “...of hearts.”

The weapon suddenly glowed and changed its shape. It started by getting longer and narrower. One end took the shape of a fan blade while the other extended from one end and took the shape of a scythe blade. When the glow faded, the scythe edge looked caked in blood, the metal was black as ebony, and the handle had a spiraling pattern of black and red.

While she liked the look of the weapon, she gave it a look of disapproval, “I have a question: if you could control whether you fired or not, why did you shoot my sister?”

The weapon could sense that it tread on thin ice with its new wielder so it chose its words carefully. “I was honestly not aiming for her, I was aiming at Gula, the spirit of Gluttony who resides in the weapon around your sister’s neck.”

Pinkamena’s look did not relent, “Uh huh...if you were aiming at her weapon then why did her Pinkie Sense alert her to shift her position? For your sake, I hope you did hit the weapon because...hold that thought.”

Pinkamena noticed Dex attempting to sneak away. The madmare was already furious with the treacherous ex-Saint and shooting Pinkie had placed him at number two on her list of people who she decided would suffer, directly under Zinyak. She quickly cut off his escape using her speed and lightly bucked him into a wall. She wanted Dex to not be buried in a wall for what she was about to do.

While he fell to his hands and knees, coughing up blood, he felt something heavy fall on his back. He looked behind him to see that Pinkamena was on his back. His eyes traced her forehooves to her new scythe and noticed that the blade was now around his neck.

Dex growled at the madmare, “You can kill me as many times as you want, but we’re in Hell; I'll just keep coming back until I finally find a way to end you.”

The weapon cackled maniacally, “There’s a reason we’re called the Seven Deadly Weapons. We are all cursed weapons and our curse changes with each form we take. In this form, any head I decapitate lives the rest of their existence without a body.

“That sounds fun,” Pinkamena said with her psychotic smile. “Let’s give it a test, shall we?”

“Wa-wait, no, NO!”

Pinkamena ignored his pleas as the scythe sliced cleanly through Dex’s neck. The husk’s body collapsed to the ground while the head rolled a short distance away.

The madmare looked at the head in disdain, “I’ll deal with you soon. Now, where were we…?”

A gulping sound was heard from the weapon before it spoke hastily, “Alright, so I’m a terrible shot in that form. I wasn’t born in an era where guns were rampant like they are today. I aimed at Gula to get back at him for eating the entire buffet table last time the Seven had a reunion two thousand years ago.”

“And yet you chose to endanger…”

“Mena, don’t be mean to him. He didn’t mean to hurt me so go easy on him,” Pinkie demanded.

Seeing Pinkie relatively unharmed was a relief for the madmare. She glared back at the weapon, “You’re lucky my sister’s alright or I would have tested your heat tolerance in the molten sea.” The weapon made another gulping sound. Pinkamena’s gaze softened as she turned to Pinkie, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, my whistle took the shot and I took the impact. It’s no worse than the time I tested the power of my party cannon and didn’t count on a house being in the direction I aimed.”

“Well as long as you’re alright.” She turned her attention to Dex, a sadistic grin on her face, “Now, what to do with you?”

“You think you can do worse to me than make me a decapitated head? There is no way you can do worse to me.”

“Take this you meanie mean pants,” Pinkie shouted before she blew her whistle and a few parasprites descended upon Dex’s head and devoured the flesh. The traitorous Saint screamed in agony as his head was reduced to a skull. Pinkamena picked up the skull and stuffed it in her mane.

“Might make for a movie prop one day. As long as he behaves himself, I’ll let him keep his jaw,” Pinkamena said before the two flew off and returned to Vlad.

The new weapons made taking the rest of Shantytown easy, especially the Marshalling grounds. Once they arrived, Pinkie’s Swarm Caller filled the pit with millions of ravenous parasprites that left the guards either fleeing or reduced to piles of bones. Because of this, converting the control stones was nearly effortless. When the Archduke arrived to defend the area, he didn’t get the chance to summon his flaming sword before he was decapitated by Pinkamena’s Executioner’s Scythe.

The remaining targets were split between the two sisters since either one could handle an area by themselves thanks to their new weapons.

Pinkamena cleared out Impalement Gardens which was one of the main hangouts of the frat demons. What terrified the demons was that the madmare had an answer to each of their tactics. If they were too close to each other, the Executioner’s Scythe would slice them in half in a single sweep. If they spread out, her Vorpal Blade would dismember them almost as fast because of her speed. The vehicles they drove in with were quickly smashed by the madmare’s Knightmare. The frat demons fled quickly because they would prefer not to live their eternities as heads.

Pinkie made quick work of the Extraction Facility. With the swarm of parasprites flooding the room, the guards were unable to stop the party pony from taking the nodes without having their flesh painfully devoured.

After Pinkie and Pinkamena each took one area by forcing the demons out, they took one last flight around the area to make sure there wasn’t a place that was missed. Aside from a number of small floating islands behind the prison that nobody cared about, the district was pretty much taken over.

Back at the Ultor building, everyone had eventually returned to rest after their successful takeover of New Hades and while they were resting, Johnny, Kinzie and the Equestrians had to wonder where Dane was. Everyone searched the building but he was nowhere to be found.

“Hello? Is anyone here?” came a female voice from the lobby. Everyone who heard the voice immediately went to the lobby to investigate.

Their eyes caught sight of a red-haired woman with red skin, a pair of curved horns and a pair of bat wings on her back that seemed too small to lift her. She wore a purple lace dress, a white choker with a ruby pendant, and black high-heeled boots.

The woman looked at the group of ponies, humans and griffon in surprise before she smiled sheepishly. “Uh, hey, can you help me?”

Pinkamena stepped forward from the group and gave the woman a wary look, “Who are you and what do you need help with?”

“Ahem...Well, I-” she began to sing.

“Without singing, this isn’t Disney.”

“Oh, I’m Jezebel and I need your help to stop the wedding my father is forcing me to go through with.”

The Choice

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An emergency meeting of the twelve leaders of the pantheons had been called in response to the destruction of Earth. Some of the lesser gods who attended the meetings wondered why the meeting featured twelve leaders instead of the ten who had been in attendance for the past thousand years. Of course, rumors had surfaced that Luna had returned recently and would be attending this meeting. That only made the number of leaders return to the eleven who attended for the past ten thousand years when the gates were relocated.

Even today, the Greek, Egyptian and Norse pantheons looked down on the Equestrian pantheon for their incompetence. Neither Zeus, Ra or Odin could take Celestia seriously when she still refused to choose an Underworld God when it was one of the most important positions among the pantheons.

Around a circular table with a hole in the center large enough to fit someone to act as a moderator sat the leaders of the pantheons.

The Greek leaders of Planet Olympus, Zeus, Poseidon and Hades, took the form of non-human like or sub-human like forms after the relocation. Zeus and Poseidon were now centaurs with human torsos and white hair and beards with Poseidon’s having a bluish tint. One specialized in storm magic while the other specialized in the magic of the sea. Hades was a red minotaur with smoldering horns and hair made of fire. All three wore togas.

The Egyptian leaders of Planet Nile, Ra, Isis and Osiris, took the form of human-like beings. Ra and Isis had the heads of hawks and a full plumage of feathers under their arms that extended and retracted when needed, especially to avoid the awkwardness of sleeping on them whenever they needed to rest. Osiris took the form of an anubite, a human-like creature with the head of a jackal. Ra wore a golden Egyptian garb with white baggy pants, Isis’ garb matched her feathers with the same pants as Ra while Osiris wore a garb of red, gold and black with the same pants as the others.

Ra’s feathers were golden while Isis had feathers that were a mix of red, blue and gold. Osiris had pale green fur.

The Norse leaders of Planet Njord, Odin, Thor and Hel, were probably the most human looking trio at the table. This was because the subjects of their world were composed of human-like giants who were born into various clans depending on their elemental affinity, often between mountain, fire, ice, or storm.

The three Norse leaders had aspects of the four clans within them but Odin and Thor often exhibited their storm affinities. Hel exhibited mainly her frost affinity. Sitting faithfully next to Hel was her loyal hound, Garmr.

While Njord was dominated by clans of elemental giants, Olympus was dominated by centaurs, minotaurs, and cyclops and Nile by tribes of animal-headed humanoids.

Celestia was still upset with Zeus for leaving Tirek in the Equestrian section of Tartarus just because he couldn’t stand the fact that Tirek was the son of a centaur and a minotaur. This was one time where she wished she had appointed an Underworld God because then she would get to have a say in where the hybrid stayed in Tartarus.

Celestia and Luna sat in their respective seats at the table next to a chair that had never been used since its making.

With everyone in attendance, the meeting began.

“We now come to order,” Zeus stated. “This meeting has been called to address the emergency situation. With the Earth destroyed by the alien overlord Zinyak, there now exists an imbalance in the afterlife realms of Heaven and Hell. The billions of souls whose lives have come to an abrupt end have all been judged and sent to their appropriate places.”

Odin continued, “There lies an issue in processing the souls that enter these realms. Because Hell’s processes are vastly more efficient than Heaven’s, the Heavenly Host is overworked and vulnerable to an attack by Satan’s armies. Without support, Heaven will fall and we will be targeted next. We must send forces to Hell to suppress them before they become a threat.”

Osiris went next, “We may not have to send but a full battalion to suppress them. Word is that a group of mortals, mostly ponies, are causing a lot of damage to Satan’s forces. I have also heard that his war funds have been cut off because the intruders took out his sources of income, the sins of mortals.”

Hades spoke up, “Be that as it may, Satan is determined to capitalize on the chaos of the mass exodus of souls to conquer heaven. He must be sealed away for eternity before the damage becomes irreparable. He has already shown that he wishes to see the balance destroyed based on his actions of preparing his troops for war. He intends to use the last human who ruled one of the most powerful nations of the Earth’s modern era to lead his troops to storm Heaven. Satan and possibly the human must be neutralized.”

Celestia finally spoke up, “And what of the candidate for my pantheon’s missing position? It would appear that Pinkamena seems to be causing quite the disruption to Satan’s plans. Do you not believe that she can defeat him?”

“Listen to your elders and only speak when spoken to, young goddess,” Zeus admonished. “Even if she does face Satan, she would need to ascend to become one of us in order to have enough power to seal him. Otherwise, she would only get worn down despite how skilled she might be in combat. Satan is an immortal and cannot be killed by conventional means.”

“The problem lies with her indecision to go through with the ascension,” Isis explained. “While it is true that immortals can live lonely lives, there are benefits to being an Underworld Ruler that cannot be replicated by the eight of us, excluding Hades, Osiris and Hel. One example is the ability to give a choice to departed souls of whether to move on or to spend their afterlives in service to the Underworld God or Goddess, though the way to the Elysian Fields will forever be closed to them. However, Pinkamena must make this choice without being influenced by the perks.”

“We must send our forces to Hell,” Thor stated decisively. “We cannot know for certain whether she will choose to ascend or not and we must be there in case she ultimately refuses.” The Greek, Egyptian and Norse gods spoke in agreement.

Celestia rolled her eyes as the other gods talked among themselves as if she nor her sister were there. It always irked her how condescending the other gods were and silently wished for something to happen to knock them down a peg.

For the first time, Celestia started to believe that having the psychotic pony ascend might be a good idea if only to see her humble them.

While the meeting was winding down, Celestia and Luna decided to sneak out knowing that the others wouldn’t notice them.

Luna spoke up as they exited the conference room, “Even a thousand years later, they are still more arrogant than the Canterlot nobles.”

Celestia sighed in exasperation, “I know that the premature loss of Earth would be cause for alarm among the realms, but this should be a time where we must band together and weather this tsunami of change. Instead, they act like it’s business as usual and continue to treat us like a pair of foals.”

“That may be true compared to them, but we have our own experiences that they lack. We need to show that we are ready to stand among them as equals. We must plan for the contingencies that occur as a result of Pinkamena’s choice.”

“Yes, sister, we shall.” Celestia paused for a moment. “Though on a personal note, I hope she does accept. It would be fun to watch her rock the boat.”

“But sister,” Luna gasped in mock surprise. “What about your precious harmony that you wanted to protect.”

Celestia giggled, “After my talk with Santa who had the opportunity to judge Pinkamena’s character and remembering my disdain toward the nobles and the other pantheon leaders, I’ve realized that some disruption in harmony is worth watching them squirm.”

“Now that I would pay every bit in my entertainment budget to see.”

“As would I Lulu, as would I.”

“Jezebel? As in Jezebel Mephistopheles, the one who is supposed to be getting married to Playa?” Pinkamena asked.

“Yes to my name and no I don’t want to marry him. My father is making me.”

“Tch, Sounds like my parents when they make that spiel about me inheriting the rock farm. Their insistence on the matter was what drove me to rebel against them in the first place.”

“Believe me, I would love to as well if my father wasn’t the all powerful ruler of Hell who didn’t give two shits about my happiness and sees everyone, including me, as a pawn in his plans to take over the realms. That’s all he ever cares about, his revenge against God and all of his creations.”

“Maybe killing you will put a stop to his plans,” Johnny offered.

“Not likely, I’m just another pawn in his schemes. This whole marriage is only the simplest means of getting what he wants: a general who can lead his troops in an assault on Heaven and Tartarus and the magical worlds, including Equus, to conquer them.”

“So Satan is a threat to Equus?” Pinkamena asked. “All the more reason to stop him. But why should we trust the daughter of Satan?”

“Perhaps some important information will suffice. My father’s minions have captured your allies and are torturing them as we speak.”

“You couldn’t have led with that?” Kinzie asked in exasperation.

“I had to show I’m your ally and to avoid getting shot at before I had a chance to explain. Anyway, go save your friends and I’ll help you sneak into my father’s castle.”

Everyone quickly left the Ultor building while everyone split into their previously assigned groups and flew off to rescue their allies.

It didn’t take long to rescue Dane, Blackbeard, Shakespeare, Vlad, Viola and Kiki since they were out in the open being tortured by small groups of Dark Inciters. Their various magics tore through the shields easily before the demon casters were annihilated.

Everybody rallied at the Ultor building so that they could avoid being caught alone again since Satan was most likely ready to deal with them himself. Dane’s meeting room was just big enough to hold everyone.

Dane began the meeting, “Alright, this is it. If Jezebel can get us into Satan’s castle then it’s only a matter of taking down the castle defenders and the big guy himself. Satan is unlike any foe you all have ever faced. He is an immortal being with a lot of deadly magic so killing him is off the table. The best we can do is to seal him away like Moondancer did to some of Pinkamena’s old foes.”

Pinkamena looked at Moondancer in surprise, “You faced off against some of my old foes? Which ones?”

“Some waterlogged zombie named William Sharp, some Neighponese type person with two katanas named Jyunichi, an amalgamated horror composed of who Viola and Kiki identified as the Akujis, and Killbane who showed the scars from when you chopped him in half.”

“Killbane was likely the one who brought those people together and put us in that tight situation we were in,” Viola explained.

Pinkamena smirked, “Wow, I would have thought they would have tried to go after me when I set hoof in Hell. Maybe they would have later. Would have been fun to kill them all again. So what happened to them?”

“I placed them all in nightmare simulations like with Zinyak,” Moondancer explained. “Sharp is in a cheap nursing home where he is visited by his nephew and friends of his nephew. The younger Akuji is buried six feet under in a coffin and unable to die, The older Akuji is living in a scenario where he lives with his son who is married to Jyunichi, who is constantly reliving his failures to his boss. Killbane is living the gimp life as a pet of Viola and Kiki.”

Pinkamena laughed uncontrollably for two minutes as she imagined those unfortunate souls suffering true hell that Satan wished he could imagine.

Dane soon returned to the main topic, “Anyway, back on topic. Sealing Satan won’t be easy as it would take a lot of magic to seal Satan away unlike with the others; magic that is beyond even Moondancer’s capabilities.”

“So is sealing him an option?” Pinkamena asked.

“Not unless we have some of the most powerful artifacts in Hell: The Seven Deadly Weapons. Each weapon was forged from a powerful spirit that was born from the First Sin. Avaritia, the spirit of Greed,” Gilda looked at her bracelets. “Ira, the spirit of Wrath,” Treehugger looked at her machete. “Inertia, the spirit of Sloth,” Vinyl tilted her head. “Invidia, the spirit of Envy,” Octavia’s thoughts turned to her rifle. “Libido, the spirit of Lust,” Moondancer nodded. “Gula, the spirit of Gluttony,” Pinkie ate a cupcake she had pulled out of her mane. “And Superbia, the spirit of Pride are the spirits who inhabit the seven weapons aaaaaaand you have already collected them all haven’t you?” Each bearer displayed their weapons.

“Looks like we get to celebrate another reunion,” Superbia, Pinkamena’s scythe, said. “Better get to the buffet before Gula gets to it.”

“Would you get over that already?” Gula, Pinkie’s whistle, grumbled. “I said before that if you want to have a reunion then have two tables with one exclusively for me. But did you listen? Nope.”

“Can we get to the topic of dealing with Satan before we go off on another pointless tangent?” Dane demanded.

“Why not? I wanna see where this drama goes,” said Inertia, Vinyl’s chair.

“While I can see that with those weapons you likely dealt with the Archdukes quite handily,” Dane said hastily to avoid another pointless conversation. “I need to point out that the weapons alone will not be enough to defeat Satan. However, Viola and Kiki looked through the archives and came across an ancient spell that is said to empower the Seven Deadly Weapons.”

“I know that spell, it kinda does what you mentioned, but the main purpose behind it is to empower the bearer of Pride,” Superbia explained. “Normally, the spell would simply instill incredible power unto the bearer but it’s different if the bearer is the Chosen One destined to take her place as the fourth Underworld Goddess. I’m sure you don’t need me to explain what that kind of power will do to you, Miss Candidate. If you cast the spell, there will be no going back; no reversing the effects. Choose wisely, Pinkamena Diane Pie.”

As Dane gave her a copy of the spell, Pinkamena knew that the time was upon her to make her choice that would decide her future. The problem was that she was still undecided. Even after weighing the pros and cons, she was still unable to come to a satisfactorily clear decision.

To accept ascension would justify her parents’ actions to get her or one of her sisters to run the rock farm because the fortune their ancestors got would come to pass. However, it would also set the Pie family free from the burden of that fortune, making their parents get off their backs about the rock farm and allowing her sisters the full freedom to pursue their dreams without familial guilt.

Pinkamena would also have to accept what may likely be an indefinite lifespan spent alongside one stuck up princess and another who she had no clear opinion of since her only experience with Luna was her time as Nightmare Moon. She had no idea what she was like without the corruption. In the end, she would have to bond with those two eventually.if she wanted to get her syndicate up and running without too much interference from the Equestrian government.

There was also the part about outliving her friends. Tartarus wasn’t Hell, she couldn’t just see their souls there unless they were among the most dangerous threats to Equestria. Most ponies would be bound for the Elysian Fields when they died. Her friends have done a lot of terrible things for the sake of getting home, but they weren’t bad ponies.

Refusing ascension would only make her parents find ways to get one of her sisters to stay and run the rock farm. If they pushed too hard, they may find themselves dead in their beds one day; an outcome that even a murderer like her would prefer to avoid. She would be able to live out her more precious life with her friends this way though she may have a more difficult bargaining position with Celestia and Luna since they most likely knew about her tendency toward violence but that would also make her life more interesting.

All her life, Pinkamena had been running from her fate being thrust upon her. Her parents didn’t want to let her have a choice in how her future would be. While the divine powers were doing the same thing in a way, the difference between them and her parents was that she was being allowed to choose to pursue this destiny.

In the end, one griffon was what it took to tip the scales and allow her to make her choice.

Johnny, Kinzie, and the Equestrians approached the entrance to Satan’s castle. Tension filled the air as they approached what may be the toughest battle of their lives.

Pinkamena was filled with determination. Her earlier conversation with Gilda had helped her clear the fog of uncertainty from her mind.

As the group approached the entrance, one of the double doors opened to reveal Jezebel who held the door open for everyone to enter.

The first thing they saw upon entry was an entryway with crimson and gold banners with images of serpents on them. There were bright red lines on the floor. The door ahead was black with dark red images of skulls and Satan’s reverse star symbol.

Beyond the doors was the throne room. On the floor was a dark red pentagon with the points of a bright red star at each corner of the shape and a smaller red star in the center of the larger star. The room was adequately lit by a series of braziers around the room along with two waterfalls of magma at either side of the golden throne.

In the center stood a giant crystal that was large enough to house a person. The group was almost certain that Playa was within it.

“Yeah, I’m not falling for that obvious trap,” Pinkamena stated before taking a deep breath for a yell. “SATAN, COME OUT NOW BEFORE WE TEST HOW DURABLE THAT CRYSTAL IS TO OUR FIREPOWER!”

Satan entered the room a few seconds later with a large number of demons at his side. The Devil himself had the trademark red skin along with a pair of leathery wings that were large enough to lift him. The top of his head was composed of four curved black horns that extended back and to the side. He wore only a loincloth with a skull on it.

The Devil looked at the intruders with mild disdain, “I see you have inspired my--”

*Bang*

Satan stumbled backward as a bullet hit him in the head. Johnny held the smoking gun pointed at The Devil. “I said I’d put a bullet in your head during that brief musical and I did.”

Satan countered by teleporting to Johnny and punching him into a wall. “How clever Mister Gat, to attack me during a monologue. You truly are ruthless. Let’s make a deal, you marry my daughter and I let your friends leave Hell with the President of the United States.”

“Yeah, no, fuckin’ you up sounds like a better plan.”

“Disappointing…” Satan’s gaze turns to Pinkamena, “I see the Candidate is with you as well. How about this instead: become my general and lead my armies to conquest against Heaven and all other realms.”

Pinkamena maintained a cheerful smile, “Not to sound like a parrot but, what Johnny said, word for word.”

Satan’s frown deepened, “You think you can waltz into my castle and challenge the--”

*BANG*

A blast from Octavia’s Retribution rifle sent Satan flying into a wall. He quickly recovered and growled at the group before he reigned in his anger and teleported to the crystal, grabbed it and flew to his throne where he set the crystal next to it and sat down in his seat. “So be it, kill them all.” he ordered.

The demon horde only lasted a minute against the twelve combatants, some equipped with weapons that decimated their ranks.

“Useless minions,” Satan growled. “I’ll end you mortals myself!” He grabbed Jezebel in his magic and tossed her into the entryway before he shut the door to the throne room and locked it.

He started by pulling Pinkamena to him with his magic, a big mistake as his shoulder was stabbed by her scythe. Satan yelped in pain as he quickly tossed the madmare away. The scythe returned to her hooves.

Satan opened chaotic rifts in order to make his victims twist and writhe but everyone rolled out of the way and continued shooting at him. Vinyl unleashed waves of concentrated sound waves that pounded his body before he received another heavy hit from Octavia’s rifle.

More demons entered the fray from the small doors around the room but they were quickly cut down as Treehugger flew around the room with her machete ablaze. Any fire magic Satan sent at her was shrugged off as if she hardly felt anything. He made a note to avoid using fire magic against her.

Other demons who entered the room ended up as piles of money after receiving a fatal scratch from Gilda’s gold and shadow clad talons.

All the while, the demons never attempted to retaliate because they were too busy fighting each other after being charmed by Moondancer.

Pinkie stemmed the flow of demons into the room when she blew her whistle and swarms of parasprites entered the small doors. A cacophony of screams was heard seconds later.

None of Satan’s tricks and illusions mattered as the number of combatants were too many to fool all at once for the room’s size.

“You face an immortal, I am invincible!” Satan growled.

True to his word, despite all the firepower brought against him, death would not claim him. However, the humiliation he suffered from the mortals and the fact that his daughter defied her was more than his patience could stand.

If he could not have his general, then he could at least deny the gods their Candidate.

Having enough of the Saints, Satan cast Johnny, Kinzie, Playa and Jezebel out of Hell, leaving only the ponies. He teleported behind Pinkie and grabbed her by her neck before teleporting back to his throne.

“I’ve had enough of your resistance. Drop your weapons or she will fry.”

The situation went as Pinkamena figured it might, her sister was taken hostage and there was little she could do that wouldn’t cost her sister’s life. With reluctance, she ordered her friends to stand down. Everyone dropped their weapons or banished in the case of some.

“Any last words before I end you, Candidate?”

With a sad smile and a sigh of resignation, Pinkamena spoke, “How about a poem?”

Satan was confused for a moment as he had never heard anyone have their last words be a poem. But he thought nothing of it and shrugged. “Sure, why not? Amuse me.”

Pinkamena took a deep breath before she uttered her poem,

“Seven keys of sin shall open the way.”

Something in the back of Satan’s mind stirred, a memory of something he had forgotten.

“Seven lights shall guide the one.”

He was sure there was something familiar about the poem, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

“The lights shall call the one to say,”

Satan’s eyes widened in realization to what the mare was reciting. “NO!” he screamed, but it was too late to get a spell off as the Seven Deadly weapons glowed.

“‘Open the gate, the fun has only begun!’”

Empowered, Gula teleported Pinkie out of Satan’s grip and to the side of her friends. The weapons glowed brighter before they cast a light upon Pinkamena. Everyone was momentarily blinded until the light faded.

Earlier…

“Gilda, what would you do if you were a goddess?” Pinkamena asked.

“Me?” the griffon squawked in surprise before reigning her emotions back in. “W-well if such a thing happened to me, I would use it for the better of the griffon empire. Those stupid, selfish, snobby nobles have driven the empire into the ground. Somegriff needs to step up and bring those squabbling dweebs under control.”

“And that someone would be you?”

“I may not be the best leader to anygriff, but I’d work hard to become the kind of griffon the empire needed. With the way things are going for my people, something needs to be done to bring stability to them and it sure won’t be Celestia since my people are still fearful of their power.”

“So you would use such power to become a queen or empress?”

“Better than letting those nobles have their way with the empire.” Gilda paused for a moment, “But that’s not what’s happening. This is your chance to make great changes to Equus. If a murderous psycho like you is the one chosen to rule Tartarus after thousands of years, then there has to be something about you that has never been seen before. Either that, or you had to become the kind of pony that you are now to be considered the one pony out of millions to be worthy of the position. Who knows, maybe it has happened before but the previous candidates had flat out refused for one reason or another.

“So the question is: are you going to be the first pony to reach this point and say ‘yes’, or are you going to leave the matter to another down the road?”

Pinkamena sat in place where the center of the light was with her eyes closed. Everyone noticed one major difference from how she looked before the flash but Octavia noticed more. Pinkamena’s wings were larger, her mane had a slight curl at the tips and some of it drooped around her new horn and between her eyes.

Satan was caught by surprise by the madmare’s sudden transformation and her spike in power. That was all Pinkamena needed as she put on her psychotic smile and took one of Moondancer’s storage devices in her magic before she teleported to the still surprised Satan. She appeared behind him with her scythe in hoof and quickly decapitated him. While Satan could have undone the curse the scythe put on him, he had other worries as his very being was being drawn into the storage device.

He attempted to break free from Pinkamena’s pull, but he had been greatly weakened in his fight against the Saints and Equestrians, plus being a bodiless head with no choice but to use a lot of magic to attempt to fix himself didn’t help, so he was unable to resist for long before he was pulled into the device.

Inside the device, Satan was in some sort of auditorium. The audience was composed of many small versions of himself. Walking to the center of the stage was a normal-sized version of himself with an innocent smile on his face. Another approached the first with a guitar.

Satan had a bad feeling about what was going to happen. He remembered his torture of Vlad and felt like he would be subjected to similar. He tried to attack the stage only for any damage to be undone in an instant.

The Satan on stage began to speak, “Welcome everyone to the eternal concert where we will sing a song that will never end. It’s called ‘Happy Happy, Joy Joy’.”

The real Satan’s eyes widened in horror. He knew that song and hearing that played for eternity would drive the likes of himself to madness. He desperately tried to attack everything in the room but he ended up wasting his magic as the guitar started playing.

“Happy happy joy joy,
Happy happy joy joy,
Happy happy joy joy,
Happy happy joy joy,
Happy happy joy joy,
Happy happy joy joy,
Happy happy joy joy joy…”

Those two words would traumatize the demon in a way that none would wish on their worst enemies as the song repeated over and over without pause. Everyone in the room joining in the chorus only made the trauma worse.

Occasionally, the song would blare loudly in his ears which would distract him from his own thoughts and make him forget what he was thinking about.

In time, those two words will be the only words in his vocabulary.

Back in the once leaderless section of Tartarus, Tirek was attacking the gate with all of his considerable might trying to break it down. He was very close to freedom and the conquest of Equestria.

Suddenly the entire realm shook and the guardians that Tirek had disabled earlier stirred. Once drained of their magic, the guardians were reinvigorated as the realm empowered them once more.

“A mistress has risen,” one guardian said.

“The realm must be made ready before she comes,” another said.

“Capture the prisoners, this realm must be made ready for her inspection,” yet another said.

As Tirek readied another kick at the door with his hooves, chains manifested around his wrists and hooves and he found himself being dragged away. “What is this? I have never seen the defenses this strong, not since my time among the prisoners of Hades.”

Tirek’s eyes widened in realization. If the defenses have been strengthened, then that could only mean that an Underworld God had risen to claim the realm.”

Tirek struggled with all of his might to break free of the chains but his efforts were for naught as the chains drained him of the magic he had stolen. He grew weaker and his form smaller and increasingly emaciated.

“NOOOOOOOO!” he screamed as the chains yanked him off the ground and pulled him back into his cage.

Tirek watched in awe as the gate’s color turned purple and an adamantine fleur de lis appeared on the door.

Celestia and Luna felt the waves of power hit them like a wave crashing into their faces. They had not felt anything like it since Cadance ascended. The power they felt was much greater than that, rivaling their own.

They knew this meant one thing.

One thought ran through their minds once they figured out what happened.

“Maybe now we can get those blowhards to respect us.”

The Fate of the Saints

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Gilda, Limestone, Treehugger, Marble, Vinyl, Octavia, Moondancer and Maud stared in awe at Pinkamena who had not only ascended to become an alicorn, but also defeated Satan as if he were just another soul who needed to be placed into his own personal hell.

And that would be where The Devil spent his eternity.

While the others were stunned by what they saw, Pinkie quickly ran up to her sister to hold her in a tight hug. “Oh Mena, I’m super duper best-party-ever-type-happy proud of you!”

Seeing the display had pulled the others out of their shock and with various expressions, mostly shrugs, they moved in and pulled the two pink ponies into a huge group hug.

Feeling the love around her reaching uncomfortable levels, Pinkamena shouted, “Alright, alright, break it up. I don’t know if alicorns still need to breathe but I’d rather not test that out.” The others broke away and most burst into giggles. Gilda and Limestone only smirked and Maud gave a small smile.

The doors to the throne room opened and Dane, Blackbeard, Shakespeare, the twins and Vlad rushed inside, out of breath.

“You know, it’s hard to imagine what other trouble would show up after we had just beaten the ruler of this realm,” Pinkamena commented.

Dane regained his breath since he knew how to control his pacing better than the others. “It’s not from Hell that’s the problem. Three of the Tartarus gates appeared and opened around the edges of the city. The whole place is getting flooded by armies of centaurs, anubites and fire giants. Looks like pantheons got impatient.”

Pinkamena rolled her eyes, “Typical, the cavalry arrives after the main action is over. People really need to learn some things from movies. So who’s leading them?”

“Hades is leading the centaurs, the Egyptian three decided to send Set to lead the anubites and Thor is leading the giants. Thor is rushing this way while the rest slowly advance.”

“Overzealous, isn’t he?” Pinkamena shrugged. “Guess we’ll find out how he feels about their new twelfth seat.”

A few minutes passed before the castle entrance slammed open and a few seconds more before the throne room doors followed suit. “WHERE IS SATAN? I WISH TO DELIVER HIS PUNISHMENT!” Thor screamed.

Thor was about three times the size of Johnny and was wearing his viking chainmail and winged helmet. He had his hammer, Mjolnir in hand and ready for battle.

“Way too late to the party, Thor. But since you brought a hammer, maybe you can try out carpentry as you repair the damage me and my friends did to the place,” Pinkamena shouted to the storm giant.

Thor looked around for a moment then looked down to find out who had delivered the insult about his war hammer. Seeing the pink pony casually wave at him, he frowned as he got on one knee to look closer at her and glare, “You date call my hammer a mere carpenter’s tool?”

“What else would you call a hammer? Weren’t they originally made to hammer nails into wood?”

“Insolent pony! This is the legendary hammer Mjolnir. With it, storms are mine to command. Behold!” Thor commanded a powerful bolt of lightning and struck Satan’s throne, obliterating it.

“Great, you broke it. Now that has to be replaced. You wouldn’t know where to find some lumber around here, would you? Of course, you also need some nails if you’re going to get started building a new throne.”

Thor’s patience was pushed past his limits as he lifted his hammer to strike Pinkamena. The other Equestrians scattered before he brought his hammer down on the offending pink pony. The strike was parried by a bone white skeletal hobby horse with a unicorn head. The force from both attacks was sent outward and created a strong blast of wind that pushed back the others in the room by a few inches.

Thor’s eyes widened in surprise when he found his attack had been blocked. “How can something so small be so strong?”

“Because she is the fourth Underworld Goddess,” said a voice behind Thor. The thunder god looked behind him while Pinkamena moved between his legs to find out who spoke.

Pinkamena saw a red burning minotaur who was half Thor’s height enter the castle and approach the two. He entered the throne room and looked around. Seeing the scene before him, he figured that if Satan had not shown up by now, then he was already defeated.

It didn’t take a genius to know who did the deed. Spotting the familiar horn and wings and sensing the level of power that was not unlike their own, he knew who he was looking at.

“So you are the new Underworld Goddess,” Hades said as he looked around the room. He saw the disheveled state of the mortals in the room and after sensing the clash of power, he had an idea about what happened. “Did you really have to provoke him?”

Pinkamena shrugged, “Since Satan went down so easily, I never got a feel for these new powers so I provoked this guy to test out my strength.”

Hades chuckled, “So did you get a good feel for your powers?”

“Not really, I’m not sure if he held back or not, but I feel like I could have hit harder.”

Thor’s mood turned jovial as he laughed heartily. “You remind me of how Celestia and Luna used to be before they put away their weapons to lead their nation. I only wish they had retained some of their old ways as they no longer seem like the warriors they used to be. Their soldiers aren’t even worthy of being called warriors. To be honest, those two have made an interesting utopia yet boring at the same time.”

“Celestia and Luna have their own plans for Equus and you and your father have your own plans for yours,” Hades explained.

“I have my own plans for my world; plans that would make my world more interesting,” Pinkamena declared. “Anyway, so how do we get out of here?”

Hades chuckled, “I look forward to how Equus will be in a few centuries then. Now that you are an Underworld Goddess, your Tartarus gate will now obey your commands and send you anywhere on the mortal plane that you desire, or here or your section of Tartarus. The other sections are not so easily accessed as you need permission from me, Osiris or Hel to enter our respective realms or our worlds. The same now applies in reverse as we now need your permission to enter your section of Tartarus or Equus. Celestia or Luna can fill you in on the rest of the perks and duties that go with the position.”

Pinkamena hummed, placing a hoof on her chin, “Can I take some people from this realm with me? I made a deal with one of them and I need to fulfill my end of the bargain.”

“You can, though they will give up their humanity in the process. Humans are forbidden in the magical realms so they must assume the form of one of the world’s native forms. The effects are permanent.”

Pinkamena looked at the six humans in the room. “So what are your thoughts?”

“We made a deal and I intend to see you honor it,” Dane said. “Though I wouldn’t mind if Kiki came along.” He winked at the woman in question. Pinkamena raised an eyebrow.

Viola answered with an eye roll, “Apparently, before I ended up in Hell, my sister ended up in a tough situation that was likely caused by some of your victims and Dane risked his life to rescue her. Seems they had a secret relationship that stayed secret until now. Sill, I’m going with them because I have ambitions that I won’t see fulfilled here.”

“Equus is no place for the likes of myself. Hell is where I can--” Vlad began before he was interrupted by Pinkamena.

“You can torture souls in my section of Tartarus.”

“Deal!”

“I will stay in Hell, the vast treasures of this realm are mine to plunder now that Satan is no longer a threat,” Blackbeard said.

Before Shakespeare could say anything, Pinkamena made an offer to him, “You can come with me if you want, your skills as a playwright could revolutionize the theater industry.”

“Shakespeare is intrigued by the dark queen’s offer to unleash the considerable power of this humble bard’s words upon the unsuspecting minds of the equine race. He cannot help but wonder if Equestria is prepared for the color that he would bring to bear upon their gray little lives.”

“He means yes,” Octavia translated roughly.

“So we’ve all decided, but first we need to head back to the ship and see who wants to come with us,” Pinkamena stated. She then closed her eyes and searched through her mind until she came across an image that she had never seen before: a door that resembled her cutie mark. She tried to use her will to bring the door to her and successfully made it manifest before her. Thinking about her friends on the ship, the door opened.

Looking inside, she saw the familiar interior of the ship that they spent their time inside. She also noticed that the other Saints and Jezebel were looking at the door with curiosity. Matt tried to put his hand through the door but his hand made contact with something invisible and solid.

Pinkamena cautiously stuck her hoof through the door before bringing her whole body through. The other Equestrians and those who chose to follow passed through the door soon after. The door closed once everyone was through.

“You’re back!” Matt exclaimed. “And I see you brought back...oh...hello Viola and Kiki. Wait, is that William Shakespeare?”

“What’s Dane Vogel doing here?” Shaundi demanded.

“Made a deal with him, he’s coming with me to Equus,” Pinkamena stated.

“Are you crazy? After what he’s--”

“My decision, he’s with me. Besides, if he betrays me, I send him back to Hell in a box the size of a sugar cube after I turn every bone in his body to dust and stick him through a meat grinder,” Pinkamena cheerfully stated.

Dane gulped.

Shaundi shrugged, “Good enough for me.”

“You guys know where Johnny went?” Playa asked.

A rift suddenly opened and Johnny emerged from it.

“Yo, you guys won’t believe this but God told me he plans to recreate the Earth, though it won’t be the same Earth as the one we’re familiar with. He sent me here to get you guys’ decision on what you wanna do now.”

“What do you mean?” Ben asked.

“He said that he wanted us to decide whether you come with me to the new Earth and start over as different people or go to Equus to live as ponies.”

“Wait, is God wanting the Saints to break up?” Playa asked.

“Kinda, but you didn’t expect us to spend the rest of our lives as a gang, did ya? I may love killin’ things and leavin’ a trail of bodies in my wake, but I’d like to take the time to broaden my horizons before I die and take over Hell.”

“Wait, what?” Pierce questioned.

“Yeah, Since Mena’s got the Devil sealed away, Hell’s gonna need a new ruler. God asked me and I accepted on the condition that I live out my mortal life first. He accepted the terms and here I am.”

Playa signed in resignation, “I guess it’s been a good run. So, what’s everyone planning?”

“Equus, been through my chapter of being human, hated it.” Kinzie stated.

“I’m heading back to Earth.” Ben declared. “Maybe now I can get my shot at being the President of the United States.”

“If you’re running for election, then count me in as your running mate,” Keith offered.

“I’ve already become a celebrity on Earth, I wanna see if I can become one on Equus too,” Pierce said.

“I'm heading back to Earth,” Shaundi said. “I’m getting that date with Johnny.”

“Have it your way, hope you’re prepared for how I live,” Johnny warned.

“I’ve lived in shittier conditions. As long as you’re better than Veteran Child, that’s all that matters.”

“Heh, settin’ your standards pretty low.”

“I’m up for life as a pony.” Asha decided. “I’ve already experienced life as one when I was in Zinyak’s simulation and I have to say, it wasn’t bad.”

“Oh, I was hoping you would choose to go to Equus. I’ve always wondered what it’s like to be a pony ever since I discovered Pinkamena and her friends.” Matt squealed.

“I wanna live on Equus. I wanna see that happier life that my father never let me see. I might even find the love I’m looking for there,” Jezebel hoped.

Once everyone had made their decisions, Playa made his, “I’m gonna keep ruling the Zin Empire. Once I’m done with that, I’m gonna join Johnny in hell and spend our afterlives kicking ass.”

Pinkamena sighed, “Well, looks like this is goodbye for now for some of you. For those who turn up in Hell, I’ll see you again.”

Once everyone said their farewells, Pinkamena summoned her gate and opened the way to Tartarus. While she could have opened it directly to Equus, she had one last stop to make before everyone got home.

Once the group passed through the door, it disappeared, leaving everyone in a dark and rocky realm with cages everywhere as well as living stone guardians and a three-headed dog.

Cerberus saw the group and ran up to them, causing tremors as he ran. The dog panted happily as he saw his new master before he licked Pinkamena, covering her in drool. The mare frowned as she looked like a drowned rat after that lick.

“Welcome, mistress,” came a voice from nearby, looking around, they saw a stone creature about the size of an adult human not far ahead. “We have prepared everything for your arrival. All escaped prisoners have been returned to their cells, including this specimen.” The creature pointed at Tirek who was inside a hanging cage.

Pinkamena shook off the drool and flew up to Tirek’s cell to get a good look at him. The hybrid centaur groaned, “So, this is the face of my new jailer; some small, pink alicorn who looks like she wouldn’t stand a chance against me if I had my full power.”

Pinkamena frowned briefly before it turned into a wicked smile. She looked down at the stone creature. “Hey, how much magic can we give this guy? I wanna see if he can back up his words.”

“Are you sure, mistress? There should be enough spare magic to let him reach his full strength but are you sure you can take him?”

“I’m sure.” Once she said that, the stone servant released Tirek from his prison and drew upon the magics of Tartarus and fed it to the centaur. He grew to colossal size while regaining his youthful energy.

After some villainous laughter, Tirek prepared to fight Pinkamena by firing a blast from a sphere of energy between his horns.

As he fired his beam at the ground, he failed to notice that Pinkamena had maneuvered herself beneath the centaur. He only realized where she was when he felt a sharp pain at his barrel and that pain expanded back toward his groin.

Pinkamena used her Vorpal Blade to cut through the centaur’s underbelly which caused him to move erratically to force her to escape but she wasn’t about to be intimidated by his movements as she reached the target of the assault and used her Executioner’s Scythe to cut it off.

Tirek would tell everyone that he did not scream like a little girl.

While the two were fighting, the stone steward kept everyone else protected under a potent magical barrier to avoid any unwanted casualties.

Tirek continued to fight as his entrails spilled out of him. He quickly turned around to face his adversary only for her to teleport to his left horn where she quickly smashed it off with her Knightmare. He reached up to grab Pinkamena only for her to quickly fly over to his other horn and smash that off. The centaur desperately tried to grab the mare with his hands but she continued to evade him. Using her Vorpal Blade, she slashed at Tirek’s wrists above his manacles. Tirek grabbed his wrists in reaction which left him open to Pinkamena placing her Executioner’s Scythe to his neck.

“I’d yield if I were you,” Pinkamena warned. “Unless you wanna be a head in a cage for the rest of your existence. Any head cut by this scythe stays off even if you are undying.”

Tirek was smart enough to know the position he was in at that moment. If he tried anything and knowing how fast she was, he was certainly going to lose everything from the neck down.

Tirek sighed in defeat, “I yield.”

The magics of Tartarus were drained from him immediately and he returned to his emaciated form. As he was returned to his cell, his wounds were healed at Pinkamena’s request.

She wanted Vlad to fully enjoy torturing him.

She introduced the steward to Vlad and informed her servant that he was going to be the guardians’ newest coworker.

“Pardon mistress, but am I correct to assume that these humans will be taking up permanent residence on Equus?” the steward asked.

“Yes.”

“By the customs set by The Creator, they will need to be converted. Are you ready?”

The humans were unsure at first but were warned about giving up their humanity so they nodded.

With that, the humans were converted to ponies. Asha retained her hunter green coat and black mane and tail as an earth pony. Kinzie became a sky blue unicorn with an orange mane and tail. Dane became a gray earth pony with a white mane and tail. Viola and Kiki became maroon pegasi with mainly black manes and tails except Viola had a pink streak in hers while Kiki had a white stripe. Pierce became a purple pegasus with a yellow mane and tail. Matt became an indigo-colored unicorn with a mane and tail of various shades of blue.

Shakespeare and Vlad, who had spent the most time in Hell, went through an odd transformation. Both became obsidian colored ponies while Vlad’s body had a yellow-glowing filigree design all over his body with his mane ablaze of yellow flames. Shakespeare’s body had an orange-glowing filigree but his mane and tail were normal with orange color.

Jezebel became a dark red thestral mare with a mane and tail of red and black. She retained her horns through the transformation.

Each newly transformed human-turned-pony was sporting their own cutie marks that represented the abilities they had on Earth or Hell.

Each of the newly transformed ponies except Asha displayed disorientation related to getting used to their new forms.

The process of learning how to walk as ponies took about an hour. In the meantime, Pinkie pulled out a deck of cards and a box of poker chips from her mane so they could play poker while they waited. Octavia won the most chips by the time the former humans had fully adjusted. Pinkamena wasn’t surprised since she had the best poker face out of everyone.

With the former humans now ready for their new lives, Pinkamena summoned her door that opened to a place the Equestrians had not seen for many years; some less than others. A place that Pinkie had longed to return to so she could deal with the massive workload of parties she had to make up for.

Ponyville.

Friends, Family and Gangs

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The ponies, and griffon, emerged from the adamantine portal into a green field with trees and flowers around them. To the former humans who have lived in congested cities all their lives, the concept of being in a natural landscape seemed almost foreign to them.

Not far from their location was a small town with houses rising up to no higher than two stories, possibly three. Pinkie, who had been away from her home for years, began to well up in tears and a huge smile appeared on her face. She turned to Pinkamena with a hopeful look in her eyes.

Pinkamena gave a small smile back, “Yes Pinkie, we’re home.”

“YIPPEEEEEEE!” Pinkie’s cheer was heard as far as Ponyville.

Pinkie ran ahead at speeds that made some of the group wonder whether she was using the Super Sprint ability or if she was normally that fast. The rest of the group followed after her at a leisurely pace since they were in no rush.

Strangely, they caught up with Pinkie who stood just outside the town. They noticed that she was staring at something. When everyone looked into the town, their eyes widened.

The town was in a panic as everyone was running around screaming while parasprites swarmed around, eating everything edible.

“What happened here?” Pinkamena asked.

“I don’t know,” Pinkie responded. “I was going to head into town to see my friends again and I saw these parasprites flying all over town. We have to stop them. I need to get a bunch of instruments. Does Octavia have a harmonica?”

“Or you can use your whistle to get their attention.”

“Oh yeah!” Pinkie, who just remembered that she had a whistle that controlled parasprites, brought her Swarm Caller to her lips, took a deep breath and blew into it. The loud tweeting sound caught the attention of the entire swarm in the town and flew over to the pink pony. The parasprites moved into a formation of rows as they stood at attention.

“Alright, back in the forest with all of you! You’ve had your fill now get back home and don’t let me see you again unless I blow this whistle,” Pinkie ordered. The insects nodded in compliance and flew into the Everfree Forest where their numbers were controlled by the predators of the forest.

It took a few minutes for the citizens to realize that the swarm was gone. They cautiously stuck their heads out from their homes and looked around. Not seeing a parasprite in their fields of vision, they cautiously walked outside. When nothing happened, their cautious optimism soon turned into celebration as the ponies roared in cheer. The cheering intensified when they spotted Pinkie walking into Ponyville. The citizens called out to each other about Pinkie’s return. The ponies gathered around the pink party mare and threw her into the air in celebration. Pinkie giggled as they did so.

The others looked on as the ponies celebrated Pinkie while ignoring the others. “Why don’t I get that kind of admiration when I walk into a town?” Pierce complained.

“Because you’re Pierce,” Kinzie remarked.

The celebration soon drew the attention of Pinkie’s old friends. When Rarity asked what was going on, the answer drove the mare into a rush to tell the others, in a ‘Rarity’ kind of way which meant a brisk pace while trying to maintain decorum.

Thankfully, Rainbow Dash saw what was happening so she told the others at a faster pace than Rarity would have.

Once they heard the news, Twilight, Applejack and Fluttershy, who was in town getting groceries, dropped what they were doing (Fluttershy carried her groceries with her) and ran toward the commotion. Seeing their friend returned caused their eyes to well up with tears of joy.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash pulled Pinkie out of the group and pulled her into a big group hug.

The other ponies eventually began to notice the other ponies who accompanied Pinkie. While they recognized Vinyl and Octavia, the rest were not recognized. Though some did comment that one of them looked a little like Pinkie. One finally noticed that the pony who looked like Pinkie had a horn and wings.

Twilight soon took notice and told Spike to write a letter to Princess Celestia to inform her about what happened. The other Element Bearers soon saw the group watching everything unfold. Twilight’s eyes widened when she saw Moondancer among them. Rainbow’s eyes narrowed when she saw Gilda who stared back at her.

“What are you doing here?” Rainbow demanded.

Gilda scoffed and rolled her eyes, “Helping your friend get back home, obviously.”

“After how you treated her? You’re lucky I don’t punch your beak into your skull.”

Another scoff, followed by a grin, “Don’t push your luck, after what I went through, I could easily put you in the hospital.”

“You trying to pick a fight?”

“No, you are.”

Rainbow Dash pulled a hoof back and prepared to punch Gilda but her hoof was blocked by a pink hoof. The speedster’s vision was blocked by a pair of light blue eyes giving her a deadpan stare.

“As much as I would love to see things get bloody, this is Pinkie’s happy reunion so I’m restraining myself from getting violent. You should too. You two can settle your differences another time.”

“Who are you?” Rainbow asked.

“The name’s Pinkamena Diane Pie, the mare who’s left a large body count in her wake over the past few years, a few killed in creative ways. I’d suggest not pissing me off if you don’t want to experience a gruesome death.”

Rainbow’s eyes shrank to pinpricks and her coat became a few shades paler. She recognized that name as the one Discord told her about; the bloodthirsty, vicious psychopath. Remembering that, she quickly retreated behind Fluttershy, telling everyone about the pink madmare.

Hearing the news made Twilight yell to her former classmate. “Moondancer, what are you doing here? Don’t you know who that mare is? She’s dangerous!”

Meanwhile, Pinkamena couldn’t help but wonder why those who knew about her didn’t question how she and Pinkie were separated.

Moondancer rolled her eyes, “You think I don’t know that? The thing is, I don’t care. I know how many humans and aliens she’s butchered. I know about the people she set up to be killed theatrically. I sentenced five people recently to experience their worst nightmares for all eternity. I made a lot of demons fight each other to the death using my Lust magic. I even killed a few people on Earth. Do I have my regrets? Sure.” She smirked, “But I don’t care what my marefriend did. She found out my darkest secret and supported me. I supported her despite the fact that she has slaughtered many people. So I have no intention of leaving her side.”

Twilight couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She never considered Moondancer the type to kill someone, let alone subject them to eternal torment. Looking at the others in Pinkamena’s group, she noticed that none of them seemed fazed by what she said. It was as if they had all killed someone at some point during the time they were away. Marble looked away in shame, but Twilight could tell what she had also killed at some point.

She was looking at a band of murderers.

Twilight looked back at Pinkie who smiled sheepishly. That told her that her friend had also killed someone. She began hyperventilating.

“Would you give it a rest, Sparkle-butt?” Pinkamena rolled her eyes. “Yes, me, my friends and my family have all killed someone at some point in our adventures. Don’t think you would do otherwise if you were in our situation. We were in cities where crime and gang violence were rampant and ambitious assholes were running them. Gambling, prostitution, protection, weapons smuggling, drug dealing, defrauding insurance companies, destruction of public property, every crime you can imagine and we have done them for the sake of surviving in a world where we were aliens and if we weren’t careful we would have ended up as lab experiments because over there, ponies were not pastel colored nor did they have cutie marks and neither did they talk. What we did is called survival.”

“B-b-but couldn’t you have tried to make friends with the humans instead?”

“I did, they’re called the Saints. Being friends with them meant going to war against rival gangs. Surviving meant choosing a side and wiping out the competition. Unlike here, we didn’t have the luxury of trying to solve our problems peacefully. You either die or you become a little psychotic by trying to survive.”

It was then that the popping sound of a teleportation spell was heard nearby. Pinkamena turned and saw two frowning alicorns and a frowning draconequus staring at her.

Pinkamena put on a fake, cheerful smile, “Hey there princesses and creature who used Earth as a dumping ground for ponies, what brings you here.

Celestia looked at the madmare’s alicorn form and sighed. “After you have finished bending Detrot to your will, we need to have a talk.”

“Oh goodie, I don’t have to schedule an appointment with you if you’re willing to chat with me.”

Luna’s frown slowly turned upward, “We simply wish to inform you of your new duties as the Alicorn of Tartarus. My sister will wish to discuss the political aspects between our government and your syndicate.”

“So I take it that Discord has been giving you two the play-by-play on what’s happened while I was on Earth?”

“As well as your fight against the Zin Empire and Satan’s forces.”

Pinkamena looked at Discord. “So what has you so upset?”

Discord pouted, “While I truly enjoyed the chaos you unleashed upon those humans, aliens and demons, you have shown me the fun of violent chaos. I still wouldn’t do anything you did because it’s not my style. However, I wouldn’t mind causing some innocent chaos with you now and then. But that’s not why I’m upset.

“I’m upset because you didn’t get me Professor Genki’s autograph. I would try to get it myself if I could but he’s even more elusive than me. He only appears to those he wants to appear to. I am a huge fan of his. The bloodshed, the carnage, the widespread destruction. I may not do the things he does but he is still a fellow purveyor of chaos.”

“Umm...Mister Discord? There is some writing on this weapon,” Marble offered, showing him the Arc of the Covenant weapon. Discord looked at the weapon and smiled broadly as he saw the writing. “You can have it if you want. I won’t need it anymore.”

Discord took the autographed weapon and sent it to his house before he grabbed Marble and hugged her. “Oh thank you so much Marble, you are the second best pony on my list, just under Fluttershy.”

Marble gasped for air as she struggled to say, “You’re...wel...come.”

While Luna was enjoying the scene with Discord, she overheard the strangest-looking pony in Pinkamena’s group rehearsing a scene in Old Ponish. This intrigued her so she moved closer to hear more of his play.

Luna had always been an aficionado in the arts, unlike her sister, so his wordplay had tugged on her heartstrings.

The Princess of the Night asked Pinkamena about the stallion who the madmare introduced as Shakespeare and informed the princess that he was a playwright from nearly five hundred years ago who sold his soul to Hell in exchange for fame.

Luna wanted to learn more about Shakespeare so once he finished his scene, she extended the playwright an invitation to the castle in Canterlot so that she could hear more of his plays and himself. Celestia rolled her eyes at that.

Luna also asked about the red thestral with horns on both sides of her head and Pinkamena introduced her as Jezebel, Satan’s daughter while also mentioning that she has a bit of a fairy tale princess complex. She would have called it a Disney complex but knew that the night princess wouldn’t have gotten the reference.

Now that she was back home, it was time for Pinkamena to deal with some unfinished business. She and her sisters said their goodbyes to Pinkie and agreed to find some time to chat again once she was established in Detrot.

Discord also mentioned that a surprise awaited some of the former humans once they made it to Detrot.

Pinkamena’s next destination was the rock farm in Western Equestria. It was time for a confrontation that was a long time coming.

Since this was a family matter, she had Kinzie, Dane, the twins, Pierce, Asha and Matt head to Detrot ahead of her and she would catch up. Her Equestrian friends stayed with her for support.

Maud, Limestone and Marble stood in front of the door to their house before Limestone knocked.

Cloudy Quartz answered the door fifteen seconds later. When she saw three of her daughters she rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn’t seeing things and smiled when she started to believe that the mares in front of her were real. She wrapped the three in a big hug, tears flowing from her eyes.

“I never thought I would see you again after I heard that you had disappeared,” Cloudy said before calling into the house. “Honey, our daughters have returned.”

Igneous quickly went to the door and smiled. “Limestone! Maudileena! Marble! We’ve missed you so much. Where have you been?”

“Would you believe that we were abducted by aliens?” Maud asked.

“Aliens? From beyond our world?”

Maud nodded.

“How did you get back?”

“We were rescued by our sisters.”

“Pinkie? Is she with you? Wait, sisters? But we never had a fifth foal.”

Limestone rolled her eyes. “C’mon dad, we both know that Pinkie makes five. But she wouldn’t have saved us if it wasn’t for our oldest sister.”

Igneous’ eyes widened at the mention of his firstborn daughter, Pinkamena. He gulped as he thought about the implications. “Does that mean she?”

“Pinkie and Pinkamena separated somehow and are now individual mares,” Maud explained.

“Did she come with you?”

Marble nodded.

Cloudy looked past her daughters and searched for her daughter. “Pinkamena? Are you there sweetie?”

“Right here,” Pinkamena declared as she turned a corner to the front of the house. “I see you two still refuse to make improvements to the place. Maybe add some color to make this place not look like we’re standing in some sort of anti-magic zone.”

What Pinkamena didn’t expect was for both of her parents to rush over to hug her. She was taken aback from the sudden behavior of her parents. Of all the things she had expected from her parents such as a stern lecture, yelling about how worried they were for her, bringing up that annoying topic about inheritance, she never expected a simple, sudden warm hug.

“Oh Mena, you must hate us for all we put you through over some stupid fortune,” Cloudy cried. “We promise to never put anything before the wellbeing of our foals ever again. We hope you can forgive us.”

“She’s right,” Igneous added. “We were stubborn as mules and you wouldn’t have been put into the situation you were in if it weren’t for us.”

Pinkamena couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Her parents apologizing for how they pushed a responsibility that she never wanted on her? She never thought that she would see the day.

For the first time in many years, the dam broke and Pinkamena’s tears flowed. She hugged her parents tightly. She knew that it would be quite some time before she fully forgave them, but an apology was a good first step.

Pinkamena and her parents spent ten minutes in that group hug.

Meanwhile, Treehugger, Gilda, Octavia, Vinyl and Moondancer watched the scene before them. Four of them smiled at the scene while Gilda started thinking about her own parents.

As if waiting for the perfect time, Pinkie appeared just as the hug ended. “This calls for a full Pie Family Reunion with friends party!” Only Pinkamena’s friends were surprised by the party mare’s sudden appearance despite knowing that they left her behind in Ponyville.

The next few hours were spent celebrating everyone’s return.

While the party was going, Igneous and Cloudy asked about Pinkamena’s horn and wings. After she told them what happened, they breathed a sigh of relief, glad that the prophetic fortune had come to pass and that there was no need to bind anypony’s fate to the farm anymore. They didn’t care that her powers were based on Tartarus, they were simply glad that the curse of the fortune was finally over.

Their daughters were now free to pursue their dreams without guilt. Limestone would soon begin studying for her bartending license while Marble had other ideas on where she would like her life to take her. Maud would continue her studies for her rocktorate.

It was after the party that Pinkamena had decided to set her plan into motion. Pinkamena, Moondancer, Vinyl, Octavia, Treehugger and Gilda boarded the next train to Detrot. While they could have used her door, Pinkamena didn’t want to abuse the power in case something happened. It wouldn’t be a good idea to get spoiled by such convenience.

The train ride was uneventful, though a few ponies on the train stared at her wondering if Pinkamena was a princess.

Once the train pulled into the station, the ponies and griffon disembarked to find the former humans in front of the station to greet them. Kinzie seemed particularly cheerful for some reason.

When the ex-FBI agent was approached by Pinkamena, her excitement seemed to intensify. “You guys, you’ll never believe who I found while we were waiting for you.”

“Hey there bitches, long time no see,” said a familiar voice that belonged to someone Pinkamena thought died when the Earth was destroyed. The voice came from an indigo colored pegasus mare with a black mane and tail tipped with purple. Her cutie mark was a spinning wheel.

“That voice...Lin?” Pinkamena asked.

“Glad you remember me, though I don’t remember you having those appendages before.”

“Things happened, long story.”

Pinkamena turned her attention to the other two figures. One was a lanky pegasus stallion with a midnight blue coat and a short mane of white. His cutie mark was two parallel lines on fire. The other was a gray earth pony stallion and he was bulky. His physique resembled Bulk Biceps except his hooves were also large. His mane and tail were purple and his cutie mark resembled a red star with a yellow hammer crossed with a yellow sickle.

If Pinkamena had to guess, the smaller stallion was likely Donnie and the larger one, if her knowledge of Earth history was correct, could be Oleg since he had the build and the mark resembled something she saw when she looked up the former Soviet Union.

If that was Oleg, then Pinkamena could understand Kinzie’s excitement since she had a thing for the ex-KGB agent. She found that out as she looked through the audio files while the Saints were hacking Zinyak’s simulation.

Pinkamena could only guess that Discord had something to do with this.

After an exchange of information about what happened to each other, and some shocked expressions about what happened to Earth and expressions of relief that they had dodged a bullet when it was destroyed, Pinkamena convinced the former Saints to assist her with taking over the dominant gang in the city who called themselves The Eclipse.

The plan was another simple city takeover since the gang ponies were only armed with swords and spears as well as some pilfered armor.

Pinkamena pulled out a small arsenal of pistols and SMGs from her mane and distributed them to the others who needed them.

Now properly armed, it was time to take over the city.

The takeover was easier than taking over Hell. Between having a technological advantage since the ponies had no idea what guns were, lack of guard training, experience with actual gang wars, and some of Pinkamena’s group being ex-agents, Eclipse fell easily. Whoever was in charge didn’t even have much influence over the city’s vice markets.

Because of how easy her opponents were, Pinkamena had an easy time keeping casualties to a minimum. After all, if she was going to take them over she would need as many of them alive as possible.

Whoever was in charge of the gang wasn’t taking their leadership role seriously. It was time to get some answers.

The Saints searched through some of the hangouts that they learned about from interrogating the gang members who were quite loose lipped.

“If Celestia’s guards had trouble with these fools, then the state of the national military is worse than I thought,” Pinkamena thought.

Pinkamena found a gang member who looked important since she was desperately trying to order the lesser members to attack them. They were knocked out because they weren’t worth killing.

Pinkamena grabbed the mare trying to escape when the attack failed. Putting her into a hold that Angel de Lamuerte showed her one time, she began the interrogation. “We can do this the boring way or the fun way. Who is leading you idiots?”

“Argh! Buck it, they don’t pay me enough. I overheard our leader, Hard Road, talk to someone. A name was dropped on accident. I heard Snake Eye. With how Snake Eye was manipulating him, I can’t even tell if we’re a gang or puppets to that government agency.”

Pinkamena pouted, “You’re no fun.”

“Well excuse me for liking my spine intact.”

“Fine, take me to Hard Road. I’m taking over this gang so meeting him will make it official.”

“You aren’t planning to kill him are you?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Because he’s my brother.”

“Well, as long as he doesn’t choose leading the gang over his own life, then I’ll simply leave him as a lieutenant. You think that will be acceptable for him?”

“Probably, especially since Snake Eye doesn’t seem to provide enough resources for us to hold off ponies like you.”

“Trust me, even if he was generous it wouldn’t have been enough to stop me.”

Pinkamena let go of the mare who popped her bones to get rid of any kinks that might have come as a result of the hold she was in.

“By the way, what should I call you?” Pinkamena asked.

“Side Street.”

“Well, Side Street, if you stick with me, you’ll learn what it means to be a good lieutenant.”

“What are you talking about? I will not have anything to do with the guard.”

Pinkamena facehoofs, “I have my work cut out for me it seems.”

On the way to the Eclipse hideout, Pinkamena taught Side Street the basics of gang life based on her experience on Earth. Running the info in her head, Side realized that the madmare was making sense. Taking full control over the vice markets of Detrot by offering them protection in exchange for a fair cut of the profits seemed like something they should have done a long time ago.

Pinkamena took a few pages from Benjamin King on how to run a gang. She had to admit that among all of the gangs that the Saints defeated over the years, King had some of the best ideas. His downfall was allowing a manipulative prostitute to worm her way into King’s inner circle and not doing anything about it.

That was a mistake that Pinkamena will make sure not to make.

Pinkamena’s group was soon led into a run down office building that served as the gang’s headquarters. The gang members who saw them were wary at first but curious when they saw Side Street with them. The gang knew they were staring at the group of ponies who convinced many of their members into siding with them. The rumors stated how dangerous they were as enemies. Some hoped to not be killed by them because they still had families to feed.

Side soon led the group to their leader Hard Road who narrowed his eyes at the group following his sister.

Hard stared for a moment longer before he spoke in outrage, “Who the buck are you and why are you bucking things up for my peeps?”

Pinkamena stepped forward. “Hi there Hard Road. My name is Pinkamena Diane Pie and I’m here to take over your gang.”

Hard stuttered as he heard the audacious words coming from the alicorn in front of him. “What makes you think that I’ll just let you take my gang from me?”

Pinkamena sighed as she was going to have to point out the many problems his gang was having. “I want to make sure everyone in this building is listening when I explain so...if you wouldn’t mind...”

Hard took a moment to understand what the mare was asking of him before he realized what she wanted. He yelled at the top of his lungs for everyone to come to his office. Once everyone was in attendance, he motioned for her to proceed.

Pinkamena cleared her throat, “I’ve been looking at the state of your gang ever since I’ve started taking the city from you. I’ve met a number of individuals who are irritated with you because you are being a nuisance to their businesses. A lot of these businesses could be a source of income for you if you offer them protection from competitors and allow them to conduct their businesses in peace in exchange for a fair cut of their profits. This can be obtained from the many business types throughout the city. Prostitution, drug running, gambling, weapons smuggling, protection, causing a little mayhem here and there whenever one of our clients is being harassed, getting people with huge insurance policies to exploit the companies by getting themselves injured on purpose while the legal firms get paid with us getting our cut. There’s a lot of bits to be made which can improve the quality of life for everyone here, you just have to know how to get your hooves on it without pissing ponies off too much.”

The ponies in attendance murmured to each other as the mare made a good point. Hard Road was also surprised by the mare’s advice. “How do you know all this?”

“I’ve spent years among a street gang and learned how they worked. I watched one gang go from a bunch of thugs trying to protect their little square inch of the city to becoming celebrities when they had the backing of a major corporation. All it took was some connections and the will to reach for what you want without fear.”

More chattering among the gang members. “And you think you have the connections to do that for us?” Hard Road asked.

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m an alicorn. I already have the princesses’ attention. All I need to do is conduct some negotiations and make a few compromises on both sides to ensure the government and this potential organization can both be happy.”

“You’re suggesting that we become Celestia’s bitches?”

“I’m saying that we keep things cordial so we don’t wind up going into a war that would cost both parties too much to make the war worth the effort. I’m sure you have families to feed. We keep our activities to where Celestia doesn’t need to get involved and we profit from the vices of this city. We also make a deal with the police where they get their kickbacks in bits and they only send out enough cops to keep the citizens believing that they are doing their jobs. Some of you will get arrested only for them to let you go later to keep up appearances. If any police pony decides to rock the boat then they might find one of their broom closets with a nice fresh coat of red paint and gruesome decor.” Pinkamena pulled out her Vorpal Blade to show her point before putting it back in her mane.

Hard Road put a hoof to his chin. “And you say you know how to make life better for us?”

“Not sure about luxurious, but definitely better.”

“Alright, we’ll give you a shot. You better not let us down.”

Pinkamena smiled cheerfully, “Oh goodie, now let’s talk about your dealings with Snake Eye. A friend of mine really wants to see him go down.”

Wrap-Up

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Hard Road took Pinkamena to his office where he opened a wall safe and pulled out a key. He then moved his desk that was in the middle of the room aside to reveal a secret trapdoor with a lock on it. He inserted the key into the lock and turned the key to unlock the door and opened it to reveal a number of documents.

The documents detailed his secret meetings with Snake Eye and the dealings that they made. Hard was counting on his sister to secretly document the meetings in case they needed to blackmail the agency leader if he decided to endanger his crew. There were photographs too which told the madmare that Side Street was smart enough to use a camera that didn’t flash or make too much noise.

“So, I guess you intend to blackmail our former benefactor?” Hard Road asked.

Pinkamena smirked, “Nope, a friend of mine wants him taken down after what he did to her.”

“Do what you want then, as long as you can help my crew, then I don’t care what happens to him.”

Snake Eye was bewildered about what happened as it all felt like it went by in a flash. What he did remember was him working at his desk preparing for his next meeting with the leader of the Eclipse and the next was the guards busting into his office to arrest him.

He had no idea that a few ponies and a griffon were bringing the gang that he manipulated for years to their knees since that happened faster than it took for the agents under his command to deliver the report. He did receive the report but he failed to read it. If he had, then he would have tried hastily to get out of the country. He knew about the documents but felt assured that even if they were used against him he would be able to spin the accusations in his favor.

He didn’t count on the Eclipse getting the new alicorn to help them.

As he was being carried away, he saw Octavia and Vinyl wave at him. The former gave a victorious smirk.

His plans for getting rich by exploiting the vice-addicted ponies of Detrot of their bits through the Eclipse had gone up in flames thanks to one meddling alicorn and her gang.

Time passed and Pinkamena’s friends began to move on with their lives. The bonds they shared will live on for years to come.

After the incident with Snake Eye, Octavia was admitted back into the agency with Vinyl as her operator. While off duty, they continued with their concerts and gigs. The bits they received from the intelligence agency came from commissions while their main income still came from their concerts. Vinyl’s Wub Chair made her the envy of every DJ in Equestria.

After being acquitted of any charges brought against her by Snake Eye, who confessed to framing her, Octavia’s reputation was restored. She put in a good word to Celestia and had Kinzie, Oleg, Asha and Matt hired as agents and operators. While their adventures were not as intense as they were back on Earth or among the Zin Empire, they had their fun moments.

Dane scouted around Detrot and decided on a location where he would establish his office. He worked his way into the legal markets one by one and slowly established the Ultor brand throughout Equestria. The Ultor symbol was coincidentally favored by ponykind since it was similar to Celestia’s cutie mark so ponies were convinced that their princess had a hoof in the company’s founding. Pinkamena spread that rumor as a way of messing with Celestia.

Kiki became Dane’s secretary. She didn’t mind the position since the two were quite fond of each other. What sold Kiki on starting a relationship with Dane was that he was surprisingly good at making mimosas.

It would be a few months before they discussed plans for marriage.

Pierce became Ultor’s marketing manager. His ideas did lead to some uncertainty among the ponies but his optimism and the energy he put out helped the ponies warm up to him. Ultor’s customer diversity increased as Pierce’s marketing strategies extended to other races on Equus.

Viola was put in charge of sales and pony resources. She wanted to be sure that the right ponies were put in the correct positions and to see Ultor grow efficiently as a business.

Every now and then, there have been secret meetings between Viola and Pierce but those meetings were never recorded.

Lin and Donnie were happily married and moved to Cloudsdale where they opened their own chariot repair shop.

Shakespeare accepted the invitation to the palace in Canterlot. Since then, Luna has been entertained by the playwright’s passionate acting of his own plays. She soon funded a theater for the playwright with a budget that was personally approved by both royal sisters.

Ponies like Trixie Lulamoon and other ponies who specialized in entertainment volunteered to take part in plays. Trixie knew how to put on a different facade to entertain the crowds and Shakespeare’s guidance helped her to improve her skills at entertainment by convincing her to play parts large and small.

Marble decided to travel the countryside with Treehugger. Together, they managed to grow the cannabis plants and sell the product to ponies in small towns. When the nearest zebra drug cartel caught on to them, they tried to intervene. However, it was painfully learned that Treehugger was the avatar of Zarinette, the one Loa that zebras knew better than to mess with. Added to the fact that she was also a close friend to the Alicorn of Tartarus, the cartel changed tactics and decided to negotiate with Treehugger and Marble. The cartel learned to grow the plants and sell them on their markets while the two received an agreed upon share of the profits.

Limestone earned her certification to become a bartender. She started out her career in Appleloosa, serving cider to thirsty ponies.

Gilda decided to help Pinkamena set up her gang for a while before she would head back to Griffonstone to help where she could. She intended to use the Grimfeather name to compete against the other fallen nobles of Griffonstone. With her powers and the gauntlets, her people would soon acknowledge her as queen.

Moondancer stayed committed to assisting Pinkamena with the gang while the madmare used her alicorn status as a means of getting her marefriend more books to read from the Canterlot library. While she wasn’t helping Pinkamena, Moondancer was either reading books or running a BDSM club in Detrot.

Pinkie had adventures with her old friends again and was able to witness Twilight’s long overdue ascension to become an alicorn after an incident involving her cutie mark getting switched for Applejack’s.

Under Pinkamena’s leadership, the Eclipse was able to make amends with the ponies of Detrot and offered protection services for the less-than-legal businesses in the city in exchange for a fair percentage of what they made. For businesses that were not doing so well, she offered to have the crew advertise for them in order to help them turn a profit.

The Detrot police department agreed to a deal to not persecute the gang members too hard as long as their activities did not get out of hoof. The deal was maintained by payments made under the table since the police department was mostly crooked. None of the smart officers dared to become greedy or foolish because ponies like that would wind up in an alley eviscerated, splattered, or decapitated.

With the crime in Detrot now under Pinkamena’s control, it was time to expand her influence and locate any hidden criminals and bring them into the fold. One among them was based in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere.

When the reports about the town’s odd behavior were read, Pinkamena decided to personally investigate.

As it turned out, the town was run by a powerful unicorn named Starlight Glimmer and she wanted to create a society without cutie marks as her way of promoting friendship.

Once Pinkamena learned about this, she requested info on the mare from the intelligence agency who received permission from Celestia to divulge. The madmare had an idea about what Starlight’s motivations were after she read the report.

She knew how she was going to deal with her.

Pinkamena walked into the tiny town of two rows of buildings. The ponies wandering around had the most strained looking smiles she had ever seen. They weren’t happy smiles nor were they anything like her psychotic smile. The ponies around her were faking their smiles and pretending to be happy while welcoming her. Their flanks were all adorned with equal signs.

Pinkamena decided to return the smiles with one of her own, one that terrified the townsponies and made them flee back into their houses. Satisfied that she now had an open path to her target’s house, she walked to the end of the two rows of housing where a single house stood.

On the way, she requested some cupcakes from a mare named Sugar Belle and took one of the poorly made cloaks from a rack outside.

Starlight’s house was reached a minute later. Pinkamena knocked on the door. The resident answered the door a moment later. “Oh, hello. Welcome to Our Town, a town where true friendship exists. I’m Starlight Glimmer, how may I help you?”

“Yeah, what’s with your townsponies acting like they killed somepony and are trying to hide the body from the authorities?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Everypony here is innocent and are the epitome of friendship.”

Pinkamena deadpanned, “Spare me the salespony spiel. How about you show me where you keep everypony’s cutie marks.”

“You wish to join us? That’s great! Right this way.”

Starlight led Pinkamena to the vault where she kept the cutie marks of everypony in town. The unicorn picked up what looked like a stick that branched at the end.

Pinkamena’s Pinkie Sense went off just as Starlight fired a beam at her. The beam was deflected when the madmare pulled out her Vorpal Blade and used it to deflect the beam back at Starlight.

What happened next was no surprise to the madmare as Starlight’s cutie mark, which looked like the same equal sign like the others, was ripped off in the form of her real mark, an eight-pointed star of purple and white giving off a trail of turquoise vapors.

Pinkamena pulled out a vacuum from her mane and sucked Starlight’s mark into it before the device was stuck back in her mane. Starlight’s flank became a real equal sign as a result.

“Now, are you ready to talk for real?” Pinkamena asked.

Starlight glared at Pinkamena. “What do you want?” she growled.

“I want to tell you that you are handling your real problems the wrong way.”

“What are you talking about?” Starlight asked with a raised brow.

“I know about the issues you are having as a result of your only friend leaving you to attend Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns which happened because of his hovering mother wanting the best for his son without consideration for the friends he made.”

“You know about Sunburst?”

“Yep. Also, him getting his cutie mark and being sent away was likely a convenient excuse for you to not blame the one thing that you should be blaming so you can hold on to hope that you still have a friend. Am I right so far?”

“No, you’re wrong! Cutie marks divide us. They ruin friendships. I--”

“Are tampering with the foundation of Equestria’s civilized society: talent.”

“What? That’s ridiculous!”

“Is it?” She pulled out one of the rock hard cupcakes from her mane. “This cupcake was made by a pony who I suspect was a skilled baker. I mean, you shouldn’t be baking as a career if you don’t have the talent for it because ponies won’t stand for terrible products. I want you to eat this cupcake.”

Starlight winced. She knew that most of the foods that Sugar Belle made were awful. She secretly snuck away to the nearest town at night for her meals. She didn’t want to be seen as a hypocrite but she kept telling herself that it was still for the good of ponykind.

The concrete cupcake drew closer to her and Starlight backed away slowly from it. Pinkamena smirked, “Something you want to admit to yourself? Maybe you would like to wear one of these cloaks?” She pulled out a shabby cloak and walked closer to Starlight.

It was then that Starlight broke, “Alright, alright, so they need their talent to make something good.”

“You see Starlight, civilization is built on talent. You need talent to design a proper house. Without design, the best a pony could build that would be stable would be a mud hut or a shabby house that barely holds up. Either of these can be knocked down by a strong enough wind. Ponies need sturdy homes to keep the predators out. Bakers need talent to make baked goods that act as an alternative to our most primal food, grass.” Starlight winced at the thought of herself grazing.” Farmers need talent to grow crops. Ponies can’t make their food products without a supply from the farmers and bad crops make for poor supply.

“It’s surprising that your town had lasted for as long as it had with the poor quality products it makes.”

Starlight’s glare returned, “So you have my cutie mark, you have me cornered and you have me where you want me. You haven’t told me what you want from me.”

“I want you to join the Eclipse, my gang.”

Starlight’s expression turned to confusion. “You want me to join a street gang?”

“They may be a street gang now, but I have big plans for them. In some ways, you and I are alike. We both have ambitions to create something that will change the face of Equestria. I want you to work with me. You are a clever mare, I bet you have some plan thought up on how to get out of the mess you’re in.”

“What? How did you--?”

“Not only will I show you what a real friend is like, but I’ll even throw in getting you closure with Sunburst.” Seeing Starlight confused again, Pinkamena elaborated. “I know the reason he hasn’t made contact with you. I saw the results of his entrance exam. He barely passed because he got a perfect score on his written exam but the practical results were barely passable. Seems his ability with magic was not up to snuff with the other students and he ultimately ended up flunking out of school because of his subpar ability. His knowledge of magic rivals with some of the best of his peers though.”

“What? Why wouldn’t he tell me what happened?”

“Shame probably. Too ashamed to even write you a simple letter to tell you that he was doing alright, not even to say that he was thinking about you.”

Starlight thought hard about what the pink madmare said before she growled then took a deep breath. “Take me to him,” she said with barely contained fury.

“So you accept?”

Starlight nodded.

“Good, now first things first.”

Once the discussions ended, Starlight called all of the townsponies to the vault where she announced the end of her friendship experiment, declaring it a failure. The ponies were disappointed, but then Starlight turned to Pinkamena and nodded. Pinkamena brought out her Knightmare, the object caused many of the ponies to cringe at the sight of it. She took the hobby horse and smashed the vault, freeing the cutie marks and allowing them to return to their owners. The ponies cheered in celebration.

Starlight soon announced that she was leaving the village. When the town asked why, she said that Princess Pinkamena had offered her a job in Detrot that she planned on accepting. The town was sad to hear that she was going away but understood that they had no right to keep her in their town.

Starlight packed up her things and went with Pinkamena to take the next set of trains to Detrot. During the ride, Pinkamena remembered to return Starlight’s cutie mark.

It was a few days later that Pinkamena brought Starlight to the Crystal Empire where Sunburst’s last known whereabouts were located.

After asking around, Pinkamena and Starlight soon found Sunburst’s house. Pinkamena stood to the side while Starlight walked up to the door and knocked on it.

A disheveled-looking unicorn stallion, with a golden coat with white on his muzzle and hooves along with a mane, tail and beard of varying shades of orange and wearing glasses, answered the door. Sunburst rubbed his eyes with his hooves to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. When he realized that his eyes didn’t deceive him, his jaw opened as his eyes widened. “Starlight? What are you doing here?”

“May I come in? We need to talk.”

“Uh sure, come in.”

Pinkamena stayed outside while Starlight walked in and closed the door. After a few minutes, the sounds of impacts and shouting could be heard. Among the impacts came the sound of a lot of books falling and a stallion howling in pain. The cacophony could be heard for five minutes before the sounds died down.

Starlight emerged from the house with a look of satisfaction on her face. “We worked things out. Sunburst and I are still friends, but I’m gonna be mad at him for a while until he makes it up to me. Let’s get back to Detrot.”

The days passed and the Eclipse soon proved that they could be a gang of good samaritans by doing their part for the community and improve Detrot’s image.

With Starlight leading the gang during Pinkamena’s times of absence, the madmare had time to fulfill her other duties. While she was the leader of a gang that was on its way to becoming a syndicate in the mortal plane, she still had her duties as the Alicorn of Tartarus.

Today was different.

While Pinkamena was giving her orders for the day to her lieutenants, Celestia and Luna appeared before her.

“Pinkamena, the time has come for the summit meeting,” Celestia declared.

Pinkamena rolled her eyes, “Fine, let’s get this over with.”

“I can tell that this will be the best meeting ever!” Luna said cheerfully, failing to hide her excitement.

Pinkamena lit her horn and her door appeared to open the way to the summit. Until now, Celestia and Luna had to use another Underworld God’s door to get to the summit. The sisters were glad to finally have control over their own door.

As they walked through the door, Celestia and Luna felt optimistic that they would finally be respected by the other gods as they fully expected Pinkamena to put her audacity on full display. Some of the gods would respect that while others would be enraged.

Celestia and Luna put on their armors while Pinkamena donned the power armor that she kept as a memento from the Zin Empire. Celestia made sure to have her lance ready while Luna had her broadsword. The sisters watched their fellow goddess sheathe her Vorpal Blade while having her Knightmare and Executioner’s Scythe at the ready.

The three alicorns slowly walked into the conference room to begin the most intense battle of their lives for the respect they deserve.