)To Feel Wanted
Sour Sweet took a big gulp of the warm drink beside her, the coffee was starting to cool, she knew she had to finish it quick before it turned gross. The bitter liquid fueled her body as she picked her stylus back up.
Her room wasn't messy. She kept it tidy and neat. A full sized bed sat in the corner of the room, the sheets made and kept nice, her nightstand had a lamp and two small bottles of medication on it, one turned upside down. A method she'd taken to using to remind her of which she had to take.
She had a bookcase filled with sketchbooks and drawing books, several manga and romance novels. A shelf beside it, on the wall, had a few figurines from anime that she'd really loved. The sliding doors to her closet were kept closed unless she was changing. Her dresser was on the back wall inside it.
Her tv stand and game consoles were against the wall near her door, a headset sat on a hanger on the wall, a cord running to the charger below.
Her computer desk was set up at the foot of her bed, adjacent to her door and on the same wall as her game consoles. It held her flat screen monitor, the tower and her drawing tablet, which she was currently glued to.
Her sketch was starting to take form. She smiled softly, looking over her work. It was rare, but she actually felt proud of her art from time to time. The pose looked dynamic and the clothing just seemed to cooperate.
'Another few hours and I'll be able to send it to the client.' She thought, making sure to save.
A sharp pain shot up her arm and she rubbed her wrist with a sigh, she reached into the drawer of her desk, sliding on a brace to stabilize her hand. 'No, no pain killers today. I should take a break.' She pushed her chair back. 'Fuck, I was doing so well too.'
She took her phone off the charger and read the group chat. Indigo and Lemon were debating the efficacy of choke holds in fights for whatever reason. Sugarcoat even weighed in from time to time.
'What is going on here?' She typed out, her friends greeting her and explaining. A second bubble popped up as her chat with Lemon had a new message.
'How you doin' bae? <3'
Sour blushed lightly, smiling at the words.
'I'm okay, just taking a break from stuff.'
':o what'cha working on?'
'Oh, just work stuff. How was your day?'
'Pretty nice. Indigo and I worked on a video with Sunset! It'll be up next week. >:D'
'That's cool, what was it on?'
'It's a surprise. Can't talk about it. Have you been looking into joining us on stream?'
'I haven't. I'm just gonna stick to the background for now.'
'That's okay, take your time. Wanna do a video call later? I know you need some solo time, but I miss your pretty face~'
'You're such a dork.'
'I know. But I love you~'
Sour's cheeks heated further, but she hit the button for the video chat.
"Heeeeey!" Lemon's voice said from the speaker, her mood was infectious. Sour smiled right away.
"Hey Lemon." She muttered with a small grin.
"You look tired, everything okay?"
"I'm good. Just got up early, running on caffeine."
"Mm. Hey! Do you think you'd be up for me visiting later?"
"I dunno," She hesitated. "I'm kinda still in a funk."
"I understand. Take your time, but I'll be ready to give you a big hug when you're ready for it."
"I wouldn't mind the hug, I just dunno how sociable I can be right now."
"Everybody has those days, it's okay to need time by yourself. Just don't forget that you have people that care about you and wanna make sure you're happy."
"I know, I know." Sour chuckled. "I don't say it often enough, but thank you. You've really helped me a lot."
"No need to thank me! I'm happy to help."
"Maybe you should drop by. I've been having trouble sleeping lately." She admitted, her cheeks redder than ever at the words. Lemon grinned, knowing what her mind was picturing.
"Oh, I'll be by in a few then! Make sure to see if I can stay the night. Love you~"
"I…" She stammered.
"You don't have to. You can say it when you're ready."
"Th-Thanks. See you soon."
"Bye~"
Sour ended the call and dropped her phone. 'I probably smell.' She groaned, rolling off her bed as she tried to remember the last time she showered. The 'funk' as she called it, was going on its third day, so at least that many. She shuddered at how gross she felt suddenly. She gathered some clothes, removing the brace and gently testing the movement in her wrist.
She hopped in a shower and quickly cleaned up. She left her hair down and pulled on her CPA sweatpants and a baggy shirt. She tiredly shuffled back to her computer desk, putting her brace back on, picking up her stylus. 'I'll get some coloring in before she gets here.' She thought.
She stood for a moment to grab her headphones, Lemon's recommendation, of course, and started a playlist, making sure her phone was close by. Lemon usually called before she came in.
She zoomed in on the character's hair, glancing to her reference as she picked out the color and started adding to it. This went on for a few songs before her motivation waned. The product was starting to suffer as well. With another sigh, she saved and opened a new project.
She drew a small caricature of herself. She managed a cute but annoyed expression, her hair in a ponytail and she wore a pink and green letterman jacket, Lemon's custom jacket she liked to wear in Sunset's videos.
As time passed, her chibi self was soon surrounded by her friends, each one had their hairstyle and an accessory to show who it was. Sunny had her phone bracelet thing, Indigo had her goggles, Sugarcoat had her glasses and Lemon had her headphones.
She moved to a clear spot on the scribble sheet, drawing herself again, this time with a smile on her face. She drew another Lemon, a heart above her head.
Her phone buzzed and she grabbed it, heading down stairs to let her girlfriend in.
The drummer had a backwards baseball cap on, her custom green and pink jacket covering a white band t-shirt. She wore some denim shorts and some black skate shoes with pink laces.
"Heya." Lemon smiled brightly, Sour glanced around before stepping closer.
"What's wrong..?" She asked, though she was answered by a tight hug. The shorter girl resting her chin on her shoulder, Lemon quickly returned the rare sign of affection. "Are you doing okay..?" She asked.
"I'm good. C'mon." She stepped back and led her inside. They walked up the stairs and down the hall to Sour's room. Lemon stepped in, looking around.
"You cleaned up."
"I'm just not a slob like you." The shorter girl crossed her arms.
"What happened to your arm?" She pointed to the brace on her wrist.
"Tendinitis." She said simply.
"Oh dang, what caused it? Archery or…" She glanced around the room, spotting Sour's computer. "Is that a tablet? Do you draw??" She asked with a big smile, Sour flinched.
"No! It's uh," She stuttered and stumbled to find an answer.
"You can!" She said. "Show me, show me, show me!"
She sighed. "Lemon, c'mon…"
"Pleeeeeeeeeeeease?" She pleaded, cupping her hands together and gave her best puppy dog eyes. Sour's cheeks heated and her arguments melted right before her eyes.
"Ugh fine." She groaned, turning on her monitor and sitting in her computer chair. She pulled up one of her favorite commissions she'd made, a large and fairly intricate battle axe stuck out of the ground in front of a beautiful young woman in red armor sat on the ground, battle scarred and beaten. A pool of blood was coming from off screen to the right, a blue cape stained red.
"Sour, you did this?" She asked, awestruck. "This is incredible."
"Whatever, it's nothing."
"I RECOGNIZE THIS! It was the winner of that fire emblem fan art contest!"
"I uh, yeah. I got a new tablet from this one." She scratched the back of her neck as she looked down.
"Dude, you're an amazing artist and you never told any of us?! This is awesome!"
"Please, don't tell the others."
"But this is so good! You know everyone will be excited!"
"I don't-!" She took a breath. "I don't want them to know I can do this. I'm fine with how they think now."
"Sour, art is a great way to help vent emotions, what's wrong with them knowing?"
"I don't wanna be the art kid." She huffed.
Lemon sighed, but nodded. "Okay, I won't. I promise." She said. "If that's what you want."
"Thank you."
"But that won't stop me from telling you how amazing you are." She smiled brightly, hugging her from behind.
"Hrm." She grumbled as Lemon rested her cheek on her crown.
"You're a beautiful artist~" She cooed. "And your drawings are pretty good too." She added with a teasing smirk.
"Thanks…" Sour mumbled, blushing furiously at the attention.
"How has your day been?" Lemon asked, letting her go to take a seat on the bed, her legs dangling over the edge.
"Pretty good so far, it got a lot better recently." She said, spinning the chair to face her.
"Around the time I came over?"
Sour shrugged, smiling softly.
"Aww, I'm glad I can help improve your mood."
"You always have." She crossed her arms. "I'm sorry I'm not as affectionate as you are."
"Babe, do you really worry about that?" She asked. "You know I love you for you, right?"
Sour nodded. "And I-" She froze up again, like a deer in headlights but Lemon's understanding smile only helped so much. Her brow knit as she growled, shooting off her chair. "God Dammit! I shouldn't be such a fucking pussy!"
"Sour, i-it's oka-"
"No! It's not fucking okay!" She grabbed her by the collar. "I just want to tell you how much I appreciate your patience and I fucking feel validated because you don't just brush off my anxieties." She shook her gently as she spoke. "How I wake up every day feeling more and more like a human-fucking-being because you're there to keep me from spiraling into that pit again…"
Her voice became less harsh as she ranted, a tear falling down her cheek as she looked down at the seated girl, who waited for her to finish. "How, much I feel wanted." She sniffled. "And," Sour leaned in, pressing their lips together. Lemon's eyes shot wide before she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, finally noticing how she was trembling. They stayed in the kiss for what felt like minutes before Sour pulled away, her pale yellow cheeks now a deep red, she looked down in shame.
"I've wanted to do that for a long time but, I went and messed up our first kiss. I yelled at you, I'm-"
Lemon cupped her chin, bringing her up to face her. "Don't apologize." She said with that infectious smile.
"Lemon?" She asked before the taller pulled her into another kiss, resting her arms on Sour's shoulders as the time passed.
"I'm the luckiest girl in the world."
"You're about to say something corny aren't you?" Sour asked, smiling up at the girl who rested their foreheads against one another.
"Absolutely."
"Let's hear it then."
"I kissed the prettiest girl in the world, twice."
Sour rolled her eyes. "Uh, hey Lemon?"
"What's up?"
"I think...I'm ready for the girls to know."
"Are you sure? You don't have to rush, I don't mind waiting."
"I want them to know." Sour said quietly. "That you're my girlfriend."
Lemon's heart jumped and she smiled brightly. "I love you, babe."
Sour stepped back, and closed the door. Lemon tilted her head before the smaller girl climbed onto the bed and laid down, patting the spot for Lemon to take beside her. The drummer toed off her shoes and quickly crawled up from her spot, laying in front of her girlfriend, Sour snuggling into her chest. Lemon wrapped her arms around her once more, and Sour seemed to relax.
"I love you too."