> Luna's Invitation
>  by CloudMagnet
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> A Royal Tease (Prologue)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pulling the drapes against the golden light of an obnoxiously cheerful dawn, Luna threw herself at her giant princess-sized bed with an indignant snort.  She treasured the few private hours she spent with her sister each day and knew that Celestia put special effort into making certain that business of state did not interfere with their dawn and dusk meals.  

Today had been especially nice, an ad-hoc tea in the royal gardens on the cusp of dawn with some lovely lyre music. It was so like Celestia to take the time to find a pony skilled in an instrument popular before Luna's banishment, just to make her feel at home in the new palace.

So then why did she have to ruin it all?  Usually Luna could handle Celestia’s incessant teasing. In some strange way it made her feel at ease.  If Celestia felt safe enough to tease Luna about her abacus or the rather provocative armor of her Royal Night Guard, then that was a demonstration of her trust in Luna’s reformation.  

‘Celly would never tease me like that if she thought that I could become Nightmare Moon again.’

But today had been something else entirely. It had all started out with familiar territory, Twilight Sparkle’s rather obvious interest in the Night Princess.

Celestia had begun delicately needling her as they nibbled their regal way through a desert of traditional rosewater and lime lokum, a sweet very much in vogue when Luna last sat upon the throne of Equestria. Taken from a pleasant reverie of simpler times and simpler pleasures, Luna had immediately allowed herself to become cross, much to Celestia's evident delight.

“Sister, I hardly think this is the appropriate place to discuss these sorts of matters. The servants...”

“Are just as concerned for your welfare and happiness as I am Luna, why I’m surprised one of them has not smuggled little Twilight into your chambers as a surprise.”

“Celly! This is an inappropriate matter for discussion over dinner.”

Luna was certain her cheeks were glowing brighter than the red gingham table cloth their snacks were laid out on. 

"It's breakfast for me dear sister." Celestia’s smile had been so .. well, it had been hidden behind her teacup but Luna knew every infuriating inch of Celly’s little smirk from thousands of years of experience. She had been just as infuriating during the whole Starswirl debacle.

“I'm afraid you are going to have to face the facts Luna, you and Twilight would be just perfect for each other. You have such similar interests. I hear that she's even learned how to use an abacus now. The little dear is just so.."

"Intelligent? Focused?" Luna ventured.

Celestia lifted an eybrow "I was thinking more along the lines of 'Versatile' or perhaps even " The lifted eyebrow took on the aspect of a comical leer "Adaptable."

"Look, sister, Twilight's sudden interest in the history and customs of my era is flattering but it does not imply any reciprocal interest on my part, so please drop this whole matter."

"Oh Luna, Don’t think for a second that the way you pore over her friendship reports has escaped my notice." Luna cast her gaze towards the heavens in exasperation. 

Celestia took a measured sip of her tea. "Or that I am unaware that some of them are missing from my collection.”

Luna froze, knowing that guilt was written across her face like a placard. She wondered if her lunar powers could include sinking into the earth in shame.  ‘Oh no..  This could not look any worse.’

“Celly..”

“But not just any friendship reports. Just the ones that happen to mention our beautiful Princess of the Night, and in such glowing phrases too. Twilight was rather excited about finally meeting you again on Nightmare night wasn't she?”

“...”  Luna found the tablecloth to suddenly be the most fascinating thing in Equestria.

“For two months she has asked after you in every report.  She even found a way through her own research to send a letter to you with Spikes flame as a surprise. Am I correct sister?"

“Well yes, but...”

Celestia’s perfect brow lowered and her gaze hardened just a little as she took a regal sip from her tea. 

‘I guess I was wrong, it can get a LOT worse.’ Luna steeled herself for what was coming next.

“You never saw fit to grace her effort and inventiveness with a reply.”

“That’s NOT true!” Luna thumped the table for emphasis, sending a tinkling shockwave through the precious china settings.

“Oh, yes, forgive me. You responded once. You complemented her on her discovery and wished her well for her studies.  On official letterhead.  In Old Equestrian.  She sent me your reply, along with a letter begging me to tell her what she had done to offend you.

Luna, that response would have been considered unduly cold even in the era before your .. disappearance."

The urgent need to sink into the earth intensified .. ‘No, the earth's mere shell isn’t enough. Maybe the mantle. Down amongst all that molten lava.’

Celestia cooly sipped her tea. “I had to visit her in Ponyville to calm her down. She cried. A pony writing a thesis on freindship who couldn't keep a friend.”

Luna could just picture those huge lavender eyes tearing up. The same way that they had on Nightmare Night from pure sympathy as Twilight empathised with Luna’s rejection and loneliness. ‘... sinking down to the core with all that crushing weight and intolerable pressure.’

“Luna, I thought you liked Twilight ... at least as a potential friend.”

Luna snapped out of her descent into self recrimination.

“Celly, it’s been so long. After all those years of my banishment I just don’t know how to talk to ponies any more.” Her voice dropped “Not outside of our official royal roles.” Her voice fell to a whisper “And especially not Twilight. I did not mean to hurt her.”

An awkward silence fell over the table.  Celestia dabbed her mouth with a napkin and rose from her cushion.  Her voice softened.

“From reading Twilight's friendship reports, and what you told me yourself sister, I had thought that both of you made a real connection that night, I was looking forward to seeing you as friends."

Luna looked up from the table, meeting her sister's eyes. "I'm sorry Celly, I'll try to.."

"And naming your foals of course.”

With a gleeful giggle, Celestia easily ducked the telekinetically flung teapot.

“Please, Luna.  Just write her a letter or maybe drop into Ponyville for a surprise visit.  It would mean the world to her.”

“Well ...” ‘That sounds remarkably reasonable and straightforward... could I really do that? As a princess? Just drop in unannounced to visit a subject in their own home? What strange times these have become.’

“I’d recommend an hour after midnight - Twilight never locks her bedroom window.”

“GET THEE HENCE FROM MY SIGHT!” 
> Head in the Clouds
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Luna awoke at the traditional time, the sunlight through her windows showing the colours of dusk. Learning from her attendant that Celestia was still engaged with the griffon's ambassadorial party and would not be present for their evening meal, Luna decided to skip breakfast and flew to the top of her tower for some privacy.

Standing nonchalantly on the edge of the thick crenellated wall she looked down to the valley beneath Canterlot where Ponyville’s lights were beginning to show against the darkening fields. Dust in the air made shafts of gold from the broken sunlight around the mountain's peak. Luna stood and watched. The sunset was muted but colourful, tending towards a rosy pink. 'If this sunset is any indication of Celly's mood, the negotiations must be at least proceeding amicably.'

Feeling that it was time, Luna kicked off into the air. With her dark wings spread she levitated, wrapped in the silver dew raining from her horn as the moon lifted over the horizon. ‘Few ponies will be watching, and none will care, but that is no reason for not doing one's best. Royal duties should be performed properly and with fitting ceremony.’ So what if Celly could raise the sun drunk or whilst performing ablutions. That was no reason to DO so, no matter how slovenly or casual this era had become.

Settling into a particularly comfortable looking cumulus to rest, Luna rolled onto her back and examined her current situation critically. 

‘I really did want to respond in kind to Twilight’s missive, and to all of her thoughtful enquiries in her reports, but any time I tried to put qill to parchment I simply was not able to proceed. Every single time I imagined her reading my letter and becoming horribly disillusioned.'

'I can’t compete with whatever mythical Night Princess Twilight holds fast to in her imagination. Celestia never seems to understand. We are gods to these ponies, we cannot let them see us as flawed, uncertain or afraid if we are to rule them as such. My reputation has already suffered greatly from the return of Nightmare Moon. And of course my last trip to Ponyville.' Luna sighed. Twilight had been instrumental in saving her on both occasions, giving the young mare a front row view of the Night Princess' fears and weaknesses.

'Attempting to take part in the Nightmare Night festival in Ponyville was a terrible mistake.  I should have stayed in the castle where nopony could see me.’

‘But then, If I had not had the opportunity to talk so candidly with Twilight, I would not be feeling the way I do now.  I guess it is nice after so long alone to finally feel this kind of longing again.  Just rather inconvenient.  Despite all of Celly’s teasing there is no evidence to suggest that Twilight Sparkle is interested in our royal person in a .. physical manner .. or even that she is interested in mares in general.’

Luna knit her brow in concentration.  Here was the real heart of the issue.

‘I cannot afford a to make a mistake in this matter. Twilight Sparkle is Celestia’s personal student, the Element of Magic and a multiple-time saviour of all of ponydom. She is destined to become perhaps the most important mortal pony in Equestria. With so much power at her command she could be groomed to become a great boon to this land or she could grow into a grave problem, perhaps even a threat to the throne. If we are to keep Twilight Sparkle contained I must retain her loyalty and respect as her Princess.’

‘I need to know whether Twilight Sparkle harbours feelings towards my person similar to those I feel for her - and I need to do so in a way that is perfectly safe.  No way in Equestria am I ‘dropping-in’ to her bedroom .. although that is a nice thought. Hmmm’

Luna reluctantly dragged herself out of a pleasant lavender daydream to paint the stars. She suddenly felt like making tonight a little special. ‘Not that anypony will notice, of course.’


--c--


The night had been both spectacular and lovely. The stars were pinprick windows onto a celestial splendour forever hidden from mundane eyes. Luna and her sister alone could dwell within that pure whiteness, tempering it for mortal vision lest it blow away their little pony minds with glory. Celestia chose to dim the immortal light to a safe brilliance, staining it gold but bringing it forth in vast quantity to heat Equestria and to unleash a riot of friendly colour on the mortal world.

Luna had thought more of mortal kind's capacity for wonder than her sister. Her lights were wrought of untainted liquid silver, unadulterated by any need to play mother to her subjects or hide from them the consequences of their own actions. By gazing long into her stars you could see the fabric of which the celestial dome itself was made. You could lose yourself in splendour or, if you were weak of heart or purpose, you could lose your mind. Born of her love for newly made ponies in the beginning of the world, It was her greatest gift to mortal kind and her life's work.

And nopony had cared. So she had given them the consequences they deserved.

After dusting the moon and checking on the quicksilver lakes around the lonely but rather lovely obsidian castle where she had spent the years of her exile, Luna had begun to feel bitter again. What point was there to her seat upon the dual throne of Equestria? It seemingly made no difference to her subjects whether she was a living, present goddess or just a myth in children's fairy stories. Her sister's rule alone was seemingly enough to satisfy ponies. A shining perpetual mother figure for a world of stifled foals afraid of the dark. 

The Royal Academy were the only ponies who cared about her nights now and they mapped her stars the way one would plot a series of boring mountain ranges on a map in order to lay a road. Dispassionate numbers imprisoned in columns on a page. They wrote letters of complaint every time a star moved or changed index.  The stars may have remained unaltered for a thousand years under her sister's disinterested care but that was no reason to kick up a fuss now. Who owned this sky anyway?

Dawn was a few hours away. It was time to make her way back to the castle. Perhaps a quick check on the Everfree Forest was in order. That ancient place was at least amusing. She might find a dragon to chat with who would remember Luna's era as if it were yesterday.

Luna was lost in thought as she flew across the dense forest's treetops towards Canterlot. 'Numbers don't have to be as dry as dead leaves, pressed onto a page. Numbers have a passion all of their own. The thrill of unexpected connectedness, chasing suspected collusions between apparently unconnected sets of data, the thrill of chasing an elusive theorem. Why does nopony understand, why can't I ..' 

There was a light on in Ponyville.

Almost invisible against the night sky from which she took her mane the goddess stopped, hovering, mouth open in astonishment. Twilight Sparkle was busy on the library's deck with her telescope. Spike had fallen asleep at her feet on a large pile of written notes.

'It must be four in the morning!'

Luna felt a wave of warmth. It had been unkind of her to assume nopony understood and nopony cared for her work. 

Falling apart into a bloom of blue smoke, Luna drifted around the base of the library and up to the deck, behind the oblivious Twilight.

Passing over the sleeping Spike, tendrils of the smoke probed the stack of paper. Several sheets vanished with a tiny 'pop'. Seemingly satisfied, the tendrils rapidly disappeared, curling through the open door into the library itself.

Twilight turned at the sound. "Oh, Spike, you're awake. Could you take down this declination please? Spike?"

The blue smoke wafted through the internal rooms of the library with an air of definite purpose. It paused in Twilight's study, became an interesting shade of russet in Twilight's unruly bedroom and finally exited through a downstairs window.

Perched on a wispy but delightfully smooth alto-cirrus Luna perused her purloined papers. Luna knew Spike's spidery handwriting from the many friendship reports she had read over Celestia's shoulder. Tonight she had selected parchments that showed a very different kind of writing.

No dry columns of dead figures for Twilight. Her hornwriting was rapid and impassioned, tasked with the impossible job of keeping up with Twilight's lightning mind. Huddles of related figures and densely packed notes were spread in groups across the page. Underscored formulae were linked with bold arrows to encircled diagrams captioned with staccato bursts of angular acronyms. 

Luna squinted a little at the parchment.  What in Equestria had Twilight been writing? 

Following the apparent order in which items had been penned, Luna felt a stirring of excitement. Twilight had been performing calculations, trying to determine Equestria's total mass by assigning a estimated mass to periodic comets listed in almanacs and noting their period and deflection. All from the point of view of an observer on the surface of a rotating sphere.

Curious, Luna reached into her magic and played back the creation of the document.

Twilight's hornwriting had started out uncertain, hesitant, there were stops and spots of ink where she had paused to consider what she would write next, almost reluctant to mark the virginal parchment. Then with a quickening rhythm and a growing certainty Twilight had abandoned her reticence, pressing harder and harder with the quill. Leaping from notation to calculation, her lengthening strokes coming faster and faster.

Sensing that she was coming near to a conclusion Twilight had become bold, writing so fast now that globules of ink had flown from the strokes, staining the paper above and below the long, hard descenders of her consonants and the lithe, supple curves of her vowels. Approaching the climax of her argument, she had pressed the quill too hard against the yielding surface, splaying apart the legs of the nib in a most cruel manner before slowing, recovering her composure and finishing with a graceful Q.E.D.

'It is certainly growing very warm in this cloud.' Luna mused. 'Dawn must be approaching.'

Although she felt strangely breathless, Luna was pleased with her discovery.

Twilight understood. Of course Twilight understood. 

'Even if there is only one pony who can comprehend the depths of the royal passion, If that pony is Twilight Sparkle, I can keep going.'

Luna took to the air, reluctant to squander such a rich resource of insight, she chose to keep the remainder of Twilight's notes for bedtime reading. For some reason she could not place a hoof on, it felt more appropriate to read them alone, in private and behind a firmly closed door.

Luna's mind was made up. 'I must have her! The very throne of Equestria demands it!'

'In the previous era I would simply have had her bound and delivered to the castle in a pretty bow. I do not think Celestia nor the ponies of this strange new age would look kindly upon such an expression of royal favour.'

As she took wing for Canterlot Luna's face set in a mask of determination. She would need a plan. And possibly a checklist.

A lovely, long checklist.
> The Night Court
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Luna awoke groggy and irritable, she had not slept through the daylight hours well. As the princess of dreams, prophecies and The Night her arcane powers often led her down dark paths not entirely of her own volition. Flying back to Canterlot from her usual nightly post, surreptitiously observing Twilight’s Library, she had plowed unheedingly into a thick knot of twisted dreams floating in the air above the city’s financial sector. 

She had still been trying to get the foul taste out of her mouth at the morning meal, which had at least begun in a pleasant manner.

She had been admonishing Celestia: “That will have to be dealt with, Celly. If those dreams are allowed to gather and fester for much longer they could become manifest as a being of evil intent and present a threat to the city.” Luna punctuated her point with airy waves of her gilded fork in between bites.

Celestia had not been convinced. “What will it do sister? Stalk from dwelling to dwelling forcibly refinancing ponies mortgages? And that is NOT the right way to eat a doughnut. Just pick it up, nopony is watching.”

Luna was finding it difficult to maintain a professional demeanour. These nuts of dough were delicious. Did they grow from a dough tree or were they some kind of ground nut? There was so much to learn in this new Equestria. “With my return and the strengthening of my domain, ponies dreams have taken on more power. Moreso than in the old era as there are so many more ponies now, all living on top of one another. The guard should be armed and trained against the possibility at least.”

“Very well, Luna. You may be right,” Celestia conceded. ”I’ll leave the matter in your hooves. Don’t stay up too long working on the details; you need to be fresh for night court tomorrow evening.”

Luna’s fork shot upwards at a velocity sufficient to pierce the beautiful domed ceiling of the breakfast gazebo, leave the atmosphere and begin a long career as Equestria’s newest and most confusing periodic comet. “TOMORROW NIGHT?”

“Yes, sister. Had you forgotten? You promised me that you would give it another go. Ponies need to see you on the throne if they are to come to accept you again as Equestria’s co-ruler.” 

“After what happened last time? It’s only been six months, could we not wait a little longer?” Luna’s appetite had quite vanished, replaced with an urge to flee. "A generation or two should suffice."

Celestia’s tone had been firm. “Ponies memories are short, at least when they are compared to ours. It will get better. Please Luna, give it another try.”

“Celly, the repairs to the doors and the outer wall of the throne room took nearly three months to complete, must you insist on placing them at risk again?”

“Oh Luna, cheer up, nopony blames you for what happened and there will be no need for you to hurl anypony forcibly through any part of the castle this time. I promise.”  

Celestia leaned forward conspiratorially, “I have appointed a wonderful new herald for your night court.  She is a very bright mare, recently awarded a doctorate for historical studies of your era. I’m sure she will be able to discreetly assist you in matters of modern etiquette if you find yourself at a loss. Guards will also be stationed behind the curtains inside the throne room this time so you won’t have to take matters into your own hooves.”

Luna’s mood lifted a little. “Well...”

“And the guards have standing orders to arrest Prince Blueblood if he dares to show his face in your court again.”

“I’ll do it.”

-- c --

Luna moved through her chambers to her private reading room, a lit candleabra drifted absently behind, floating in a blue haze of magic. Shelves were packed tightly with bound books of all sizes, distressed tomes of ancient lineage, penned by hoof, sat side by side with books freshly minted from fancy new mechanical presses. The work benches and antique tables were stacked high with scrollcases and neat piles of parchments tied with ribbons.

On a lectern placed prominently next to her writing desk was her single most important document. The rock with which she anchored her mind against these strange chaotic days and the even stranger ponies who lived within them. 

The master checklist.  A checklist comprised of a list of all of her other checklists, recompiled no more than once per day and no less than once per week, unless Equestria found itself embroiled in a war or a comprehensive national disaster that demanded all of the princess’ attention. A ‘check’ showed that the points contained within the subordinate checklist had been addressed to her satisfaction. Of course, the subordinate checklists often gave rise to checklists of their own and so on. All were accounted for and filed, along with lists of appropriate reference materials available from the castle’s main library.

Luna leant forward to smell the parchment. The smell was calming, like a pot of camel-mile tea. The texture of the scrolls expertly prepared surface on her sensitive nose put her in mind of the finest cotton sheets. Truly, reading and writing could be a delight to every sense, an addictive panacea in which she could lose herself for hours at a time.

In the early days of the two sister’s rule the master checklist could be contained by the flat top of the lectern itself, but those days were long in the past, even before her banishment. With a flick of her telekinesis Luna unrolled the intimidating document along the walls of the library room in a great circle. The ends nearly touched.

With a contented sigh, Luna primly balanced her reading glasses on her muzzle and set to work. Leaving the checklist floating in a great loop about her desk she levitated several fresh parchments and quills from her desk.

Luna added a new item to the end of the master checklist, then set to work on creating a points list for the training of the Guard. With the banishment of it’s major focus and source of power, dream magic had practically vanished from Equestria. With nopony skilled in it’s use it would fall to Luna to perform the training herself.

Those dreams had been vile, selfish and small, but massed together they possessed great power. They had tasted of the petty arrogance and jealous possessiveness of Nightmare Moon. ‘This modern age is exhausting, everything changes so fast and the greed of ponies for novelty and wealth is all encompassing. They want and want, even when they have all they need.’ 

Through her window Luna could distantly hear the sounds of Canterlot city. The thick sounds of jingling tack, iron shod hooves and cartwheels on the old flagstone streets hung in the air about the castle as hundreds of ponies prepared for another normal day of business. 

Canterlot was itself a source of confusion for Luna. ‘From the moon it looked so cheerful and inviting with its hundreds of coloured lights, The cities were expressions of ponies will writ large upon Equestria itself. A feat only capable when thousands of ponies work together.’ 

So she had thought, giddy with the joy of discovery and freedom in the first weeks of her return. Now she thought of Canterlot, Hoofington and the other major population centres as more reminiscent of finding an impressive mound of colourful mould in your pantry. Those cities were the work of generations of ponies at each others throats. Trampling on each other to make a bit and then displaying that wealth through their possessions, each little light a ponies claim to property and status. The brightest lights of all were the gaily lit private gardens of the villas and minor palaces of the nobility.

And she was expected to play host to these parasitic insipid nobles in her night court tomorrow. Without beheading a single one.

Books flew from the orderly shelves, gliding neatly to their appointed places, reading stands for the major works, small stacks to the side for reference materials. Recent equestrian history, a list of the noble families and their holdings, modern financial theory and the latest royal budget. 

No matter what she thought of these ‘nobles’ elevated by wealth to a station made worthless by their very presence, they would not find fault with Luna or her court.

She would be ready for them.

-- c --

Nopony came.

Her appointed herald had rather cheekily attired herself in the fashion of Luna’s old night court before her banishment. Obviously uncertain about her choice of attire, the mare had started the evening jittery and as Luna’s mood had soured, had progressed to terrified. The poor thing was shaking, barely able to hold onto her staff.

Luna could not find fault with her for that. As the hours progressed in silence the displeasure radiating from the stiffly poised alicorn on the throne was so palpable it could have been quartered and sold by the pound.

Luna felt like she was back on the moon. The silence, the darkness filling the tall windows of the throne room, even the silent herald standing to attention next to her. Silent and proper like the moon-ponies she had crafted from the lunar dust for her amusement during her exile. Nightmare Moon had needed subjects to rule over in her black castle.

Luna found herself lost in a daydream.

She sat upon her raised obsidian throne, her black armour spotless, her cat’s eyes quick, watching the crowds of courtiers as they played their little power games, positioning themselves to gain her favour, distancing themselves behind their ‘friends’ to avoid her displeasure. They were all constructs of her own mind of course, built of moon stuff and magic, but they were alive, after a fashion, and she could pretend. It was largely like every night on the moon during the period of her banishment.

But tonight there was a splash of unexpected colour. Next to her throne, at the top of her stairs was a brilliant purple silk cushion, edged with a tasselled golden rope. Reclining upon it in a most sultry manner was Twilight Sparkle, Queen’s Consort and Arch Mage of the Moon.

Her hooves were shod in gold filigree, her eyelids darkened with kohl. A single thread of beaten and drawn gold wound up the ridge of her horn to end in a tiny playful bell. Feeling the Queen’s gaze upon her Twilight looked up from her book. “My beloved Queen? May I assist thee?”

Nightmare Moon felt .. Luna felt a genuine smile on her face for the first time that evening. How could she have thought herself alone with Twilight at her side? “What readest thou, Arch Mage?”

Twilight inclined the book so that the Queen of her heart could see the colourful pages. “The Illustrated Camel-Sutra, extended edition for magic users.”  She rolled onto her back on the broad cushion. As the gauzy strips of her rather minimal consorts costume fell open across the soft fur of her stomach, she stretched lazily and languidly. “Is court yet finished my Queen? I have learnt much, but the true application of science lies not in reading the results of other’s work but in prediction and personal experimentation.”

Twilight rose to a sitting position and pointed her muzzle at the night queen’s own. “I predict that tonight will be memorable, the first of many memorable nights.” She closed the distance, lowering the lids of her eyes and inclining her head. “And I am eager to begin the experimentation.” Twilight parted her lips...

Luna snapped back into the present, horrified. 

The fountain flowing under Celestia’s throne had stopped dead, frozen into a solid column of ice. 

‘That was not a daydream. I feel that I have been made .. an offer.’ Luna cleared her throat.

The herald ‘Eeep’ed, but admirably retained hold of her staff of office. 

“This court is now ended, call it Herald.”

Luna sighed as she released her muscles from her rigidly held ‘regal’ posture, alternately stretching her cramped wings as she waited for her herald to deliver the set speech to declare the deserted night court closed. “Thank you Lily Gild, we are most appreciative of your forbearance with this tiresome duty and for your comely costume. It is quite correct in its particulars. I personally like the bells, most accurate.”

“Why thank you your highness!” it was hard to tell whether Lily knelt or simply collapsed in gratitude.

“My sister is adamant that we attempt this debacle at least once a week henceforth.” Experimentally, Luna offered Lily her most cheerful and supportive of smiles and was rewarded with only a slight blanching of abject fear. ‘The chambermaid I last tried that smile on fainted. I must be getting better at dealing with the servants.’ 

“Next time Lily, bring a chessboard.” Luna paused on the threshold of the throneroom, struck by a thought. “And doughnuts. With sprinkles.”

Her duties to Equestria completed, Luna could return to her most pressing task, the current resplendent crown of her tasklist, starred and underlined for emphasis. What was she going to do about Twilight?


-- c --


Above Ponyville a dark blue shape snuggled into a cloud leaving just a pair of eye holes visible from the outside.  This cloud was perfect.  Just a little innocuous puff floating above the town square.  Small enough to go unnoticed by anypony out this late at night and commanding a fine view of the Ponyville Public library.

Drifting about as a blue smoke was more secure against discovery but that magic was more suited to Nightmare Moon’s magical makeup than her own. Luna found that the transformation left her itchy all over in a most unpleasant manner.

Luna was once again watching Twilight’s library looking for inspiration.

Twilight was asleep, her innocent pony dreams drifting around her bed. Luna loved the form of Twilight’s dreams. They were rooted in simplicity, like those of any mortal pony but Twilight’s unique powers of self scrutiny and perfectionism combined with her prodigious intelligence caused her dreams to explode into stunning complexity. They were like beautiful wild vines growing out of control around her bed, choices and consequences chasing themselves down ever decreasing paths. Sometimes those paths ended with lovely flowers born of realisation or pleasant memories, often they vanished into nothing at all.

Luna longed to plunge into those unruly tendrils. Twilight need never suffer such tumultuous rides through her subconscious again with the Princess of Dreams by her side. Every path travelled could end in a beautiful flower if Luna could be permitted to just reach out and touch... there and there.

The temptation to meddle was strong, Luna could resolve her uncertainty right now with a simple application of magic. ‘It would be such a simple matter to enter Twilight's dreams and shape them into a scenario such as the one I experienced earlier tonight. Safe in the knowledge that she was only dreaming, she could give herself up to me or turn me down.’  

Luna grimaced. A thousand years ago being touched upon by the Princess of the Night and taken into her domain was an honour, and usually indicative of the beginning of an entertaining and probably rather saucy evening. Luna had thusly acted as the muse for many of the most important artists of the pre-classical era.

She could, if she wished, touch hundreds of dreams in a night, as delicate as a moonshower, gently soothing the nights of whole villages in turn, flying on her rounds over a darkened Equestria. Celly warmed the surface of Equestria with her loving sun, but Luna had given warmth to her ponies and showed her love through tending the wild garden of their dreams, weeding and sowing where she willed. 

But in this new world even that joy had been taken from her.

After Luna had caused some ‘incidents’ and a minor panic amongst the castle staff Celly had informed her that in these enlightened times entering a pony’s dreams without permission was considered the height of privacy invasion and was very, very rude. 

Luna was sorely tempted to send such manners of mere courtesy to the moon and try it anyway, but Twilight was a very powerful and talented young unicorn. ‘She may be able to detect my presence in her mind, then I would lose any chance of truly befriending her.  She would be furious.  I guess a pony’s dreams are now merely their own to treasure and protect, but it does make me sad, there is so much unnecessary pain.’ 

Luna gasped as the realisation hit her: ‘It would be inexcusable for me to invade Twilight’s dreams without invitation, but it is entirely permissible for me to invite her to enter mine.’

She knew immediately what she had to do.

If Rainbow Dash had been awake she would have seen a delicate white Moonboom spread across Ponyville's night sky as Luna broke the speed of magic streaking across the firmament to the old ruined castle in the Everfree Forest.

It was time to fire up her old laboratory.
> The Castle in the Everfree
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Luna flew across the verdant expanse of the Everfree Forest she found herself thinking of Equestria’s first aeons, the unreckoned expanse of time that passed before she and her sister had brought forth the ponies to tame the land and make of it what they would. At that time a single vast and virginal forest had spanned the breadth of Equestria, it’s mighty trees unchallenged in their majesty by any work of hooves or claws.

A wild thing, it had lived through consuming itself. Trees fought glacially slow battles for sunlight and water. Animals ripped at the plants for food, and when the plants did not suffice for their hunger the animals had ripped each other to bloody pieces.

It had been exuberant, passionate and complex; a living, growing clockwork built of thousands of tiny lives. 

It had been beautiful. 

Then, as now, Luna had felt the simple animal dreams of the forest dwellers, tiny crystalline beads of wanting, hot burning jewels of hunger, mating and defence. Through Luna’s magical sight the forest was spattered with pinpricks of emotive light in the same way that her night sky carried the stars.

For thousands of years she and her sister had watched it grow, change and evolve, endlessly fascinating in the variety of ways that living creatures could learn, compete and kill. But then Luna and her sister had been struck down by the terrible curse of empathy.

Their favourite toy, the fascinating machine of life that they had constructed as a game, drew them into itself. They could no longer dispassionately watch it’s workings whilst they vicariously felt the fear of the hunted and the hurt of the victim.

Their old game had been stripped of it’s fun, revealing a nightmare skeleton of cruelty and pain beneath the fascination.  Celestia had applied her grand intelligence to the invention of new rules for their creation. She decreed that they would bring forth creatures of emotion and intelligence to tame the land and husband it in such a way that all of it’s creatures might live together in an orderly fashion.

And Luna had built them, the ponies. Crafted them with passion to be beautiful and strong and independent of their creators will. 

After the first few centuries of watching with delight as the ponies built their dwellings and devised their own crude sciences and arts, she discovered that she had wrought too well. What had started as a game had become a trap. Luna and her sister were now bound to Equestria by their love for their surrogate children. 

‘Millennia we have given to this land, and the ponies grow and prosper, but whilst they live on Equestria’s earth we must remain physically manifest. It may come to pass that we will never leave this place and swim amongst the stars again.'

Seeing her destination, Luna banked, dropping through the spots of low cloud that always seemed to hang over the castle, filtering the moonlight into a gentle wash of silver on the slick stones of the worn walls.

‘So many times have I wished that I could simply leave the ponies to their own ends, their love is for Celestia, not for me. But she could never leave them, and I would never leave without her.’

Luna alighted on the ruined wall of the Everfree Castle and turned towards Ponyville, invisible through the dense canopy of the forest. Like feeling the heat from a distant fire, even at this distance she could pick the exotic shapes of Twilights dreams from the dull backdrop of the sleeping township’s minds.

Somehow, amongst the thousands of ponies living across the surface of the land, it seemed that nature itself had conspired against Luna. Her little ponies evolved and mixed their strange traits from generation to generation in a genetic engine of complexity fit to boggle the mind of a goddess. 

Somehow, this random process had given rise to Twilight Sparkle.

‘And now, for me, the trap has been made complete. I no longer want to leave’


-- c --


Luna paced around the main hall of the derelict castle, examining the husks the of the windows and kicking at clumps of wreckage to examine the remains of the mosaic floor beneath.  The relatively recent wreckage of Nightmare Moon’s battle with the Elements of Harmony overlay the thousand year old wreckage of Nightmare Moon’s ugly brawl with the triumphant Princess Celestia. That vicious fight had destroyed nearly half of the castle and nopony had wanted to repair a place of such evil import.

‘I recall almost nothing of those final years, the Nightmare’s dominance over me was so complete. The brightest of my memories of this place are the happy ones, from the long years Celestia and I governed the kingdom from this very room. There were two thrones on that dais, gold and silver, and the walls of the Greeting Hall were always covered in bright blooms brought to us as gifts by our supplicants. Celly would always joke that she was jealous of my mane as it was always full of flowers.’

Whatever strange material comprised Celestia’s imposing mane, flowers just would not stick to it.

After she had been driven by force from the castle that they had shared for so long, Celestia had fled to the easily defensible mountainside village of Canterlot and transferred what remained of Equestria’s government to a fortified facility there. That fort grew into the very same Canterlot Castle that Luna slept in every night since her return, trying not to feel like a captive held in a high tower.

‘After Celly left, Nightmare turned this castle into a fortress of war. The halls were filled with soldiers, smithies operated day and night and the castle’s rooms were given over to stockpiles of blades and cannon balls. When Celly left, the flowers stopped coming, but I doubt that Nightmare even noticed that.’

Luna lit her horn and descended the spiral staircase behind the thrones. By far the largest of the changes Nightmare had made to the castle, after having all references to her sister scoured from the castle’s beautiful mosaics and torn from the leaded windows, lay underneath the ground levels where caverns had been excavated and protected with powerful charms. 

Luna passed through emergency quarters and briefing rooms, reagent stockpiles and soldier's mess-halls. This had been the heart of Nightmare’s war machine, all of it now spoiled and destroyed. She reached the end of a map room where a rotten board still bore push-pins, buried deeply in the remains of a map that had lost it’s legibility in another age. She paused before an unremarkable stretch of wall.

Luna knew that Celestia regarded the old castle as a melancholy place and had refused to go there since the night that she had rent the sky, banishing Luna to the moon from the parapet of its high tower. The cleansing of the castle and the destruction of the not-inconsiderable number of monsters Nightmare had stockpiled beneath had been left to the military.

‘I do not doubt that Celly was deeply upset and too troubled to continue fighting, but she should not have so shirked her duty to safeguard her ponies; soldiers are blunt tools without the sophistication to detect something like...’

Luna’s horn shone with the gentle light of a full moon over a still lake.

‘Like THIS!’ 

Nothing happened.

‘But.. My memory might be hazy, but I know this place in my heart. On the other side of this wall is the only place where Nightmare Moon felt any pleasure that was not directly the result of hurting ponies or seeking power. The only place where, in those latter days, I could ever feel any peace or hope for a better future after the Nightmare took me. In this laboratory we sought to winkle out the secrets of science together and I could feel that Nightmare was not wholly evil .. I know that it is here!’

Luna set her legs into a braced stance, lidded her bright teal eyes and lit her horn again. A hard silver light like the gleam from the edge of a honed blade filled the chamber.  Dust and small stones began to spin in place and shoot from wall to wall as a stifling electrical pressure built inside the room.

With every hair standing on edge and a white light leaking from beneath her tightly closed eyes, Luna shouted:

‘You are commanded to OPEN!’

Nothing happened.

Frustrated, Luna began to pace. ‘There is but one hour until false dawn. I must work quickly if I am to achieve anything tonight whilst my sister is yet sleeping. If Celly were to discover what I am attempting she would be unduly distressed. She would not want me to be anywhere near such a place of Nightmare Moon’s former power.’ 

‘She means well, but this soon after Nightmare’s defeat, she has no good reason to be concerned.  I don’t want to touch that dark magic again, but I shall need some of her power. It seems that Nightmare’s portal will only open for Nightmare alone. That is, after all, how that deluded and paranoid mare would have wanted it.’

Luna glared at the unremarkable expanse of wall. Just a touch of dark power was needed, the merest breath. 

This should be easy.

She took a deep breath and gathered her thoughts.

It was too easy. Far, far too easy to draw upon Nightmare’s power. The envy was still there. Celestia, the bright shining icon of warmth and motherly affection, beaming down onto their little ponies like a rain of sickeningly sweet honey. 

Luna’s ponies.

‘I made them. They were mine. You stole them from me Celestia, you stole their love. Well, If they have no love for me then I will take obedience in its stead.’

Luna gasped as her most recent memories connected with the ancient hate. The deserted night court, Prince Blueblood and his petty tirade, his private guards trying to restrain her, her for the good of Equestria, lest she wrest control from her sister again.

‘Hah! He thought he could lay a hoof on his Queen? I threw that foal right through the doors. I should have used a wall or two and ended his whining for good.’

The ghosted outline of a door was appearing on the bare wall, dangerous runes flickered around the edges, promising harm to any who would dare to open such a portal by brute force. Luna’s coat darkened, her mane becoming translucent with stars. 

In all of those years, nothing had changed. Now, as then, all of the ponies ignored her perfect night. The stars and the moon shone only for the beasts of the forest.

‘And their savagery and the precision of their cruelty shalt be the template for my perfect army. Perfect in it’s savagery, unmatched in it’s cruelty and it’s dominance of all ponykind.’

The portal recognised it’s creator and mistress. The runes fled back into the mass of stone and the thick slab of wall neatly pivoted back into the darkness.

Oh, there was so much more. Celestia’s petty parasitic nobles kissing her flank all day.

‘OK, the task is done. Bring it down now, don’t let it get out of control.’

The horrible crowded cities and their filthy streets. That despicable fetish of a candy palace clinging like a leach to the mountainside and the two faced tyrant smug on her throne with Luna out of the way. Their humble Princess, pretending to avoid the title of Queen through prim modesty despite her millennia of single-hoofed rule.

‘No, no, no. Nightmare should be nowhere near this strong! She was only just defeated. Stop, please stop. This was not what I wanted. I can control it! I know I can. What can I do... What can I... I need something positive, something must have changed, something that makes being Luna better than being Nightmare Moon.’

Ghostly greaves were forming around Luna’s feet. A helm depressed her wild star-filled mane.

‘Wait...’ Twilight. On her balcony with her telescope. Taking notes on everything happening in Luna’s perfect night, Luna’s soul spread like a map across the heavens. A new meteor? A star changes index? Twilight was always the first to report it to the almanac. Right now she would be curled up in her bed, probably under a pile of hoofwritten notes and diagrams of the constellations.

‘We can TAKE her you foal, right now, like any shiny toy that catches our eye. Just like the dream, she will turn to you and...’

Everything seemed to stop as Luna found her attention trapped once again inside the dream. Twilight, on her silk cushion beside the obsidian throne, beribboned and shod in gold like a courtesan. Twilight would look into her eyes and say... What would she say?

“Princess, what in Equestria do you think you are doing? Are you insane? Am I some kind of pet to you?”

Luna's distress gave way to a grim smile, Nightmare had misplayed her hoof. ‘We could possess her body, but as Nightmare Moon, Twilight would hate us. Twilight is the one thing that I could have as Luna that Nightmare could not take by force.’

With a whinny of frustrated rage a white ball of light exploded outwards from Luna’s body, prone before the door. Slowly, she dragged herself to her hooves and inspected herself as best she could. Luckily, she was physically unharmed by the magical blast. The greaves and helm were nowhere to be seen and her mane had returned to normal.

‘That was .. nearly very foalish .. but the portal is open. I just hope that Celly did not feel that back in Canterlot. Nightmare should still be just a mean shadow lurking on the edge of my mind. How in Equestria did she gain so much power so quickly? This will need to be looked into, the last two times this happened Nightmare was dormant for many centuries.’

Luna had recently been introduced to a miraculous device known as a radio that pulled music out of thin air. After her first three enthusiastic days with her new toy Celly had told her, rather gravely, that radios were not designed to be operated at full volume for the total span of every day and night. 

‘If I am to spend my time here working, I’ll need a radio to cheer this gloomy place up, but until then...’

Luna sang a cheerful ditty that she had learned from the miraculous device as she trotted through the portal to her personal nightmare’s old domain.

“When I was a little filly and the sun was going down...”


--c--


This was most unsatisfactory.

Dust and moisture had contrived over the years to form an unpleasant crust over most of the work spaces and floors, sometimes inches thick. Her glassware was mostly intact but was far too dirty for the subtle kind of work Luna needed to perform. Her stock of chemicals would need to be carefully inspected and tested for purity and effectiveness before she risked combining any of it with powerful magic.

‘It would take a month or two to prepare this laboratory for potion work again. Replacing some of the rarer ingredients from the less accessible parts of Equestria could take a year or more.’ 

Luna huffed, she would not, in any case, have even considered using something as blunt and banal as a potion on her Twilight. She needed something more ..romantic.

The storerooms were something of a disappointment also. Most of her powerful test equipment had been sent to be repurposed as weaponry as Nightmare's armies had faltered in the final weeks of the war. Room after room showed nothing but ancient depressions in the pitted floor where engines of great subtlety and cunning had once stood.

At the extreme end of the room stood a most promising round vault door bearing a huge locking wheel and combination dials. Luna suddenly felt very alone and reluctant to approach that door, her sudden apprehension did not lessen when she saw that the door was slightly ajar. There was enough room for a pony to fit through that opening.

Not wishing to take another step forward without seeing the contents of that room, Luna pulled mightily on the door with her magic, but the iron was slick with layers of warding and the hinges were frozen with a millennium's slow corrosion. The door did not so much as squeak.

Something terrible had happened here, something that she could not recall.

'Very well. If magic will not suffice, I shall have to do this the hard way with my own four hooves. What manner of beast remains in Equestria that could threaten a princess?' Squeezing her way around the heavy vault door, Luna lit her horn with a searing light and gasped in happy astonishment as she was met by a million scintillating beams and cheerful sparkles. ‘My jewels!’

Once, they had been known as the Everfree Castle’s collection and displayed for everypony to admire. Gemstones of unusual purity, properties or simply enormous mass brought from every corner of the land as gifts for the admiration of the princesses. The practice had started out innocently enough with jewels given as genuine gifts from ambassadors, a practice emulated by some principalities on special occasions.  Soon, ugly rumours were spreading that special considerations were given to those that could produce the finest gifts.

The Castle had subsequently been inundated with priceless junk. Faceted and mounted in beautiful filigree, uncut and delivered by the cartload in sacks and every variation between arrived by the cartload as ponies bankrupted their kingdoms vying for royal favour. Luna’s magic had always lent itself particularly well to gemstones; having an interest in the material, she took upon herself the task of curating the collection and tried to keep the whole mess catalogued and identified.

The largest and most ostentatious ‘gift’ that they had ever received had been accompanied by an offer of marriage directed at Celestia herself. A caravan of handsome dromedaries had spent an hour unloading wicker panniers of flawless diamonds onto the court's red carpets. By the time the servants had respectfully withdrawn, the Greeting Hall had the appearance of having suffered from an icy snowstorm. The noblepony responsible had picked his way elegantly through the mass, dropped to one knee and delivered a tightly rehearsed proposal speech that had run on for at least ten minutes and had included a potted history of his families bloodline and a statement of his net worth, underwritten by no less than three respected banks.

Celestia had informed her hopeful suitor that any self-respecting stallion seeking the attention of a mare would have brought her flowers. Not rocks.

The entire incident would have been hilarious if not for the intolerably arrogant attitude of the noblepony involved. Finding himself most put out by Celestia’s rather blunt and unexpected refusal in the face of his seemingly overwhelming wealth, he had switched his crass attentions immediately to Luna at that evening's banquet.  He had seemed honestly surprised when the night Princess had not leapt at the chance to be his consolation prize.

On that very night, at the closing of the festivities, and in tipsy unison, the sisters had ruled that, henceforth, they would accept for the castle no gifts more valuable or less transient than a flower.

And nopony’s hoof in marriage either.

Luna discovered that she was crying. 'Sister...'

The floor of the vault was strewn with drifts of fine moon-dust, a common physical ingredient for Nightmare's magic and for her own. Hoof prints covered the floor, too large for those of a normal pony or even a draft-pony. 

Luna remembered. This is where Nightmare had run to when her armies had collapsed and Celestia's forces overran the castle's walls, the site of her last frantic attempt to craft some kind of insane super-weapon from raw gemstones and the sheer crushing power of her unbalanced will.

It had not gone well. The moon-dust was all that remained of her assistants. Scorch marks were visible across the ceiling. Desperation and hate were powerful agents, but power without control always spelt disaster. The weapon had exploded, taking much of Nightmare Moon's magic with it. 

The weakened Nightmare had fled back into Luna's mind, leaving the princess suddenly alone and grievously hurt. Still wrapped in the greaves and flowing mane of Nightmare's raiment, Luna slipped through the castle, easily avoiding the soldiers, and had found Celestia waiting for her on top of the observation tower. 

Nightmare's presence was gone, but Luna had her own pride. This was her castle, her home, her queendom. Those ponies who had died in Nightmare's army fighting Celestia were her ponies.

Gathering what remained of Nightmare's power, she had attacked without a word.

The Elements of Harmony should probably have simply turned her to stone, in a similar fashion to Discord, sentenced to sleep off his madness in Canterlot's genteel gardens. In her weakened state they had been more than enough to destroy her entirely.

'Celestia thought that she was fighting Nightmare Moon. What would she say, I wonder, if she knew that her little sister had tried to kill her.'




> Twilight (Interlude)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twilight awoke to the rapid patter of Spikes knocking. “Mmph. Not now Spike, it’s Sunday. The library doesn’t open until midday.”

“Twilight, you have to get up, it’s way past midday already and the royal guard are at the door.”

Twilight’s bedclothes shot toward the ceiling in a haze of lilac magic as she sat bolt upright. “WHAT? Why would they be here? I haven’t done anything bad. Have I?”

Devoid of coffee, Twilight’s mental gears ground furiously as they sought a grip on her current situation. “Spike? Did you remember to send back those scrolls on loan from the Canterlot archives? They were priceless! Do they think I stole them? I don’t want to be arrested! Spike!?”

Twilight could hear the sound of a tiny dragon facehooving, audible right through the wood of the door. “Twilight, they aren’t here to arrest you, they say they have a message for you.”

Twilight paused whilst using her magic to lift warm clothes and wet weather gear from her closet and into her panniers. “That’s what they always say Spike, now you keep them occupied while I teleport behind the building and run for the forest. I’ll send word from a safe-house in Hoofington, use the Blue code book to reply.”

“Twilight, it’s a message from the princess.”

There were several muffled thumps as Twilight’s panniers, a hooded travelling cloak and a well hooved copy of ‘On the Lam for Eggheads’ hit the floor.

“Oh, well, that’s different then.”

The door to Twilights bedroom swung open with alacrity, “The princess must be in town on official business. Strange, she usually sends word at least three days in advance so I have time to re-shelve the library, polish the floors and clean all of the windows.”

“You know, Twilight, I think the princess doesn’t really need you to do all that every time she visits. I’ve never seen her checking the books. Or the floor either.”

Twilight quickly ran a brush through her wild mane, conscious of the guards waiting outside the library’s door. “This library belongs to Ponyville, Spike, and therefore it is the property of the princess herself. I think she notices a lot more than she lets on, and I want her to feel that the library is in the best possible hooves.”

Spike shrugged as he made his way into the kitchen. Knowing Twilight’s morning routine by heart he could anticipate what was coming next.

“Better put on two pots of coffee today spike, last night was a late one.”

“Already on it. Does this mean I get to have one too?”

Twilight chuckled. “No, Spike, it’s not good for young dragons, and I’m not sure it would even work on you. Besides, it tastes bitter and it’s slightly toxic even for ponies, you wouldn’t like it at all.”

“Yeah, yeah. If it’s so bad, then why do you drink five pots of the stuff every day?”

Twilight paused as she reached the door. “That’s the other reason I don’t want you to drink coffee, Spike. You can’t stop. Ever.”

Twilight looked back into the kitchen where Spike was holding the coffee jar at arms length, regarding it with concerned disgust, as if it held an assortment of live spiders. “I’m just joking Spike. Well... mostly joking. Don’t worry about it.”

“But Twilight, shouldn’t you see Zecora or something? She’s good with dangerous herbs. Don’t you want to stop?”

“No, no spike. I overheard Rarity and Applejack talking about me a little during that last slumber party, the one we held to wind down after that silly Smarty-Pants incident. You know what Applejack said? ‘Twilight’s guzzlin a barrel of coffee each day is what makes her the way she is.’ How could I just quit after such a strong recommendation? It must be having lots of beneficial effects for Applejack to notice like that.” 

Spike scratched his head as he dubiously regarded the jar in his hand. “I dunno, I’m not sure that was meant as a positive thing.”

But Twilight was no longer listening, sporting her most persuasive, confident and natural smile, the one she had practiced in the mirror, she threw open the door. “Sorry to keep you waiting good Sirs. How can I help you?”

The closer of the two unicorn guards visibly flinched at the wide display of teeth set before him. “Er, Miss Twilight, we have been sent by Her Royal Majesty Princess Celestia to assure your safety and inform you of her intention to visit this afternoon at her convenience.”

Even without her coffee, Twilight could pick the danger signals in the guards greeting. “Assure my safety?” She stepped forward, locking the guards gaze with her own. “What happened? Is the princess involved? Is the town safe? I need information!”

“Please, Miss Sparkle, the situation is in hoof. Our presence here is a precautionary measure only.”

The guards yielded as Twilight pushed past them to better take in the spectacle of Ponyville’s town square. Ponies stood around in loose groups chatting in hushed tones as they watched the sky with concerned faces.

Well, mostly concerned. Rainbow Dash was visible on the other side of the square standing between two of Celestia’s pegasus guards, one of whom had a hoof placed nonchalantly on her shoulder. Neither the guards, nor Rainbow, looked very happy with the arrangement.

Twilight could hear Rainbow’s argument from right across the square. “Look, I’m just sayin’ that I can do twice the area you guys can do and do it in half the time. This is my home-town, my turf, and I’m waaay faster in the air. If you guys are looking for something, why won’t you let me help?”

Twilight turned to regard her own escort. “She’s right you know.”

“Yes, Miss Sparkle, we’ve heard of Rainbow Dash in Canterlot, though many within the Pegasus guard are skeptical about the whole ‘rainboom’ thing, nopony doubts that she is very fast. But, we have our orders. All of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony are to be kept safe.”

Twilight followed the gazes of the milling ponies in the square. Far above Ponyville the sunlight reflected from the pristine white of Celestia’s wings and glinted from her golden shoes as she conferred in midair with a flight of pegasus guards. Powerful flashes could be seen in air as ponies were teleported in, gave their reports and were teleported away again.

Something was not right. This was not how Princess Celestia handled crises. Even Discord’s return had seen the solar princess composed and collected as she sent Twilight and her friends away to save the world. The figure above them now was imposing and powerful but there was something rushed and panicky in the princesses movements.

“Safe? With only two of you for each one of us?” Twilight frowned in concentration. “You aren’t here to keep us safe, you are here to keep tabs on us so that we can be assembled quickly. Something big is going on, something big enough to need the Elements of Harmony.”

Twilight regarded the now sweating guard from under lowered brows, her teeth set together like a vice behind the wreckage of her polite smile. Small sparks began to gather around her horn. “Equestria is in danger, my friends are in danger and you will now tell me everything you know. Everything.” 

There was a bright flash, a wave of concussion slapped Twilight across the face, then everything went white.

Soft and white.

Celestia’s voice was close to Twilight’s ear. “I must apologise Twilight, I rarely teleport my own self and I had forgotten just how much air I displace at close quarters.”

Twilight realised, with a tingling shock that spread from her hooves all the way to the tip of her horn, that she was being held under Celestia’s folded wing, her face pressed into the soft downy fur near the wing’s root. Her head was filled with the scent of Celestia’s fur, sandalwood soap and suddenly very little else.

“mmph gm fmmm.”

Celestia lifted the front of her wing, just a little, to give her pupil room to breathe. “I am so glad to see you safe Twilight, I was just on my way to talk to with you.” 

Twilight was suddenly very conscious of the tense undercurrent in her mentor’s voice and the tremor in the wing that still clamped her tightly to Celestia’s side. 

-- c --

Celestia’s guards stood stiffly outside the library door as Twilight and Celestia sat down to tea, as they had done many times since Twilight’s move from Canterlot. 

Twilight felt uncomfortable. Making a date to take tea with her mentor was usually the highlight of each month, a date circled on the calendar, rigorously prepared for and recorded word for word in Twilight’s secret journal, safe in it’s box under her bed. 

She felt like a precious ritual was being violated. So many little details were missing. There was no pot of special tea, selected by the princess as a thoughtful gift. Twilight’s best china had been set out quickly by Spike, but Twilight’s cup was filled with pungent fresh coffee. Rather than sit across the table from Twilight in her usual position, ready for the tea to give way to several rounds of playful chess and conversation, Celestia was at her side, just a few hoofs away. Occasionally, as if subconsciously, Celestia’s wingtip would brush Twilight, as it to reassure the princess that Twilight was still there. 

Celestia’s nose wrinkled at the smell of coffee, but she accepted the cup from Spike and drank quickly. “Early this morning, before sunrise, I was awoken by a large release of dark energy, located somewhere in the Everfree Forest. It felt like Nightmare Moon’s magic or something of her ilk. Perhaps one of her powerful pets is still alive and just woke up, some of them have been know to hibernate like dragons.”

Twilight was nonplussed. “We’ve dealt with monsters here before. Even an ursa minor. I’ve never seen you so worried Princess, surely Ponyville can deal with something like...”

“Luna is missing. She didn’t come back to the castle last night. I set the Moon myself.”

“Oh.” Twilight didn’t know what to say. The connections were obvious. Luna had once been Nightmare Moon and Celestia was afraid for her sister.  And perhaps afraid of her sister as well, if she had taken steps to place all of the Elements of Harmony within hoof’s reach. “You don’t think that Luna...”

Celestia paused to allow Spike to refill her cup. “There was no resistance to my setting of the Moon, I cannot be certain that Nightmare has returned, but I cannot be certain of anything until I have Luna safe at home. Not once since her return from banishment has she failed to set or raise the moon, a duty she takes very seriously.”

“We can help Princess! Please, Ponyville is our home and I can guarantee that the girls and I are up to any challenge, we even chased away a dragon once!”

Celestia’s wing rested on Twilights back, “No, Twilight. A long time ago I made some very bad decisions that cost me Luna’s company for a thousand years. For a time, I was certain that I had killed her when I wielded the Elements against Nightmare.”

Celestia gathered Twilight to her, wrapping both of her wings around the startled unicorn. “I was lucky, in a way. Luna cannot die while the Moon remains above Equestria, she is simply incorporeal for a time. You, however, are mortal.”

Twilight was dumbstruck, but returned her mentor’s embrace.

“Twilight, I missed Luna so much while she was gone. Now that she has returned, I will not set the two mares who mean the most to me against each other. I will not willingly take the chance that I could lose you both.”

Celestia stood, she hardened her gaze and composed herself with a ruffle of her wings. “Not until there is no other choice.”
> Intermission
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

This was already posted in the comments section, but I thought that it should be a little more visible, functioning as a kind of intermission for the main feature. I enjoyed writing it so much, I've written a second one for use much later, set aboard a WW2 submarine.

--

Twilight Sparkle squinted into the brass eyepiece of her favourite microscope. On her right, a quill rapidly scratched across the surface of a levitated parchment. Scrolls, bound volumes and loose sheathes of notes littered the normally pristine surface of her laboratory workbench.

Without lifting her eye from her instrument, Twilight reached for the bumper pack of Pony Joe's finest Canterlot Doughnuts. As a long time fan of all of Joe's confectionery creations, Twilight did not need to interrupt her important research in order to make a visual selection from her doughnut stash. A true connoisseur, she could identify each and every one of his 213 distinct varieties and sub-varieties by feel alone.

But none of them had ever been warm and squishy before.

'Hey, Twilight! Watcha doin?' Pinkies voice was abrasively nasal, her nose clamped tight in Twilight's hoof.

Twilight snatched her hoof back in surprise. 'Pinkie! Where are my doughnuts?'

Pinkie considered for a moment, her hoof on her chin. "Well, after what happened last time with the leopard seal, the washing machine and your underwear drawer you said I shouldn't interrupt you when you were working, so I was being all quiet and everything and just singing a little song to myself but in my head so you couldn't hear it but it was such a good song and it was so funny and I wanted to tell you all about it but you were still working and then I was getting bored and I get hungry when I'm bored and..'

'Pinkie! Breathe!' Twilight interjected.

'Oops! Sorry. So, watcha doin?' Pinkie's eyes shone with happiness, rainbows and a complete lack of the heartfelt contrition that Twilight felt was suitable for a sneaky doughnut thief.

Twilight stretched away the cramps from a afternoon spent crouched over her equipment and stood proudly beside a large hemispherical device covered in brazen lights. 'I'm studying metal fragments from that strange saucer shaped flying machine that crashed in the Everfree forest. I've even pieced together what I think is a complete machine of some kind from the large pieces Applejack and Big Macintosh brought in this morning.'

'Ooooh, shiny. So many lights! What does it do Twilight? Is it a time machine? Is this the "on" button? It looks like a big gumdrop!' A pink hoof reached out for the tempting, shiny disc.

'STOP! Pinkie, don't touch that! We don't even know what it does yet. It could be dangerous.' Twilight placed herself squarely between Pinkies inquisitive hooves and the flickering lights of the enticing machine, her forelegs crossed over her chest in a no-nonsense stance. 'And what about my doughnuts? I have to get those sent specially from Canterlot.'

Pinkie's eyes were bright blue beacons of innocence and pure fun. Much to Twilight's annoyance they were still without a trace of guile or shame. 'Silly Twilight! I ate them all, but it's OK because I brought you an extra special cake that's even better than cranky old Joenuts! It's really exciting 'cause it's a whole new design and you'll be the first pony to see it, I mean, apart from me but I don't count because I already know. It's specially designed to cheer up grumpy Twilight Sparkles and to be cannon launched!'

From absolutely nowhere, Pinkie whipped out the largest candy coloured rococo nonsense of a cannon Twilight had ever seen. It looked, to Twilight's incredulous eyes, like the cannon you would invite to a cannon kiddies party to play the part of a cannon pirate clown and make cannon balloon animals. From cannons.

'What? Pinkie don't set that off in here!' Twilight dove heroically towards the cannon, but it was too late.

"Geronimo!" Pinkie squealed with glee as the cannon roared, sending a stream of confetti, party favours, Gummy and half a metric tonne of cream cake flying though the air towards Twilight's work bench.

Unfortunately, this trajectory intersected perfectly with Twilight Sparkles dive, throwing her bodily into the strange machine in the centre of the room.

For a few seconds, there was complete silence in the laboratory. From the rippling surface of a small sea of frosting two humps arose, one with bright blue eyes and one with a horn and two slits of burning purple fury. Visible steam was rising from the second hump.

'Beep.'

'Twilight, did you say beep?' Pinkies tongue looped around her head, cleaning the frosting away in one smooth motion.

'Beep.'

'Pinkie...' Twilight's voice was a guttural growl.

'Beep.'

'Oh, Twilight, you're covered in frosting! You look like a ghost! Do want me to clean you up?' Pinkie's tongue seemed to take on a life of it's own as it snaked towards Twilight.

'Beep.'

'Don't you dare touch me with that tongue!' With a flash of fuchsia a very, very irritated Twilight Sparkle sat perfectly clean inside a little circle of bare floor, a raging sea of sponge and cream whirling about her.

'Beep.'

'Spoilsport. You never let me do it the FUN way anymore.' Pinkie pouted.

'Beep.'

'Oh stop it Pinkie, it was just that one time when we were drunk. You should just let it go. And stop making that beep noise, its really irritating.'

'Beep.'

'YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!' Pinkie wailed, tears welling up in her huge blue eyes. 'And I'm not making any beep noises. Meanie.'

'Beep.'

'I meant that in a platonic way! And if you aren't making that noise..' Twilight's eyes turned in horror to the alien artifact in the centre of the room.

'Beep.'

'Well if you won't love me then Dashie wi... er Twilight? Twi? Hello?' Pinkie tapped Twilight's shoulder with her hoof. 'Twilight? What's wrong?'

'Beep.'

Above the pulsing dome a message was spelled out in glowing ethereal neon. Beside the message ghostly numbers writhed, counting down rapidly.

'Sweet mother of Celestia. Pinkie... what have you done?' Twilight breathed.

The message read:
Fic update imminent in: 141:08:32
> One From the Vault
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Your Majesty?”

Luna could feel moon dust in her mouth. Her eyes were gritty and sore. From somewhere far away she imagined that a friendly voice was calling for her, but the words were indistinct, coming to her slowly through a nebulous grey fog.

Coming gradually back to consciousness, Luna ran her tongue across her dry lips and did not enjoy what she discovered. ‘What is that foul taste in my mouth? It is reminiscent of a wet diamond dog and discarded socks in equal measure.’

“Your Majesty?”

The voice was feminine, insistent and somehow familiar. 

“Your Majesty? Please awaken, we are fearful. Some great calamity has befallen this place and we require instruction. Are we under attack?”

With exaggerated caution, Luna lifted her gaze from the stone floor, disturbing several gently fuming bottles scattered about her head. Her eyes gradually came to focus on... a face. A very familiar face, round and grey with pretty ice blue eyes, tufted ears and a flowing silver mane. 

Luna was suddenly unsure what millennia she was living in. “Alembic?”

The unicorn curtseyed. “Yes, your Majesty. Retort is here also, he is standing guard by the door in case there are further attempts to intrude upon this place.”

Luna looked groggily towards the entry portal where a stocky gray unicorn was busy inspecting the door wards, his horn flickering with indigo sparks. 

“What? How?” Luna took a deep breath and made a valiant attempt to marshal her thoughts. Her mind felt like it had the consistency of a calving glacier. ‘Prioritise. There are a million things I need to know right now. What is most important?’

“Alembic, why am I laying on a filthy floor covered in moon dust? Who has attempted to intrude and how are you and your brother even HERE?”

Alembic blushed with shame and hung her head. “Please your Majesty, we have ourselves only just awoken and have not had time to attend to matters of cleanliness. Our first thought was to ensure the safety of your royal person from intruders. We will set to work restoring your laboratory immediately. Please don’t punish us.”

“Punish you? What kind of pony would..” Luna looked down at her feet. She was shod with thick iron, her 
legs were wrapped in greaves laquered a hard deep blue and detailed in silver. Now that she was fully awake she could feel the weight of a heavy peytral around her neck and her old favourite spiked champron was buckled over her head. 

She had been that kind of pony, after becoming Nightmare Moon. The kind who would have a servant flogged for not anticipating her wishes. Alembic and Retort were really just toys, moon-pony automatons that had served her as Luna and later as Nightmare Moon.  They had served as chambermaids, lab assistants and finally as willing test subjects for Nightmare Moon’s increasingly bizarre experiments. 

If any ponies had the earned right to fear her moods, it was these two.

Looking into Alembic’s cowering eyes made it feel so familiar and comfortable, as if not a day had passed since..

It was Luna’s turn to feel ashamed. ‘Since the day I blew both of them to pieces in the vault, trying in vain to build a weapon that could protect me from my own sister.’

Retort had noticed Luna’s attention to her wardrobe. “We found some sets of your armour in storage, Your Majesty and prepared you as best we could. I have sealed the portal and adjusted the cloaking spells. Many seemed to be in bad repair. Celestia’s forces have been searching the upper rooms of the castle, but we believe that they do not have the power to pass through this portal, or even to be aware of it’s existence. The white tyrant herself is another matter however. I detected her presence above us in the courtyard earlier but she did not venture below. Her current whereabouts are unknown.”

Luna was developing a headache and simply could not think straight. ‘White tyrant? Who in Equestria does he mean by that? The windigos were white but they never ventured so far south as to trouble us. When they could no longer profit from our misfortune and discord they were happy to be left to their own affairs.’ 

Luna felt the armour shift as she laboriously stood. It was a little too large for her current form and felt like it was made from lead. ‘Nightmare could carry this armour as effortlessly as a ball gown, and a lot more besides. Well, upon reflection, I think I can guess who the white tyrant is and why Alembic is so scared of me.’

Luna gathered herself into a rough approximation of her normally regal posture. The room was swaying slightly but she felt that she needed to be convincing without recourse to the Royal Canterlot Voice. 

“Both of you, come here.” Luna regarded the two ponies as they fidgeted nervously under her gaze. “Listen carefully. We are NOT at war with Celestia’s forces, Celestia is most certainly NOT a tyrant and I am NOT Nightmare Moon. Nightmare is gone. Forever.”

There was silence as the two moon ponies threw dubious glances to each other.

Luna softened her tone and tried again. “Look at this place. A thousand years have passed since you were last awake. I was exiled, I returned and Nightmare Moon was stripped from me by the Elements of Harmony. I am just Luna now, as I was before.”

Alembic was the first to crack, putting her hooves to her face in wonderment. “Is it true? Is it really true? No more war?”

Luna shucked her armour into an untidy pile and regarded it with distaste. Her headache was worsening and she felt ready to fall asleep on her hooves. “I shall be returning to Canterlot Castle shortly to take breakfast with my sister and there will be no issue more acrimonious between us than who shall eat the last doughnut. The war is not only over, it has been forgotten by most of ponykind. It’s just a legend to them now.”

Both Alembic and Retort were beaming. “It’s true, the princess is back! No more weapons or nasty death rays!”

Luna suddenly found herself at the bottom of an impromptu ponypile. “Princess! We missed you!”

Luna allowed the familiarity. They were not real ponies of course, just moondust and Luna’s magic, but they had served her for hundreds of years and she felt comfortable with them in a way that she could not be amongst flesh and blood ponies. After all, although they were independent, they were technically a part of her own mind, incapable of judging her or turning against her.

‘But I still feel that I have missed something important.’  With a growing sense of unease Luna checked the inside of the vault. The piles of lunar dust were greatly diminished. ‘I must have passed out after rebuilding these two. But such a task is trivial, even in my youth I could assemble moon-ponies by the hoof-full, yet now I am totally exhausted.’

Luna critically regarded her creations, who were conversing animatedly between themselves. ‘That is most curious. Being fragments of my own mind, they rarely needed to talk to each other in the past.’

“Alembic, come here a moment please.”

“Yes my princess.”

Designed when Luna was just an adolescent, Alembic was simply stunning; she was a testament to Luna’s magical ability, artistic eye and what had, at the time, been a rather pressing need to have examples of her historically significant collection of saucy maid outfits on more or less permanent display. Her footfalls were filled with the confident strength of perfect legs,  softened by a coquettish sway to her haunches and the playful dance of her tail.

Just watching her breathe was poetry.

‘Wait... Breathe? These ponies are creatures of magic. They only need to breathe when they talk.’

Luna suddenly felt a queasiness in her stomach that had nothing to do with the fuming beverage eating its way through the stone floor behind her. “Oh no. Celestia is going to kill me.” 

Alembic was understandably alarmed. “Princess? Do you mean the war isn’t over after all?”

Luna now understood why she was exhausted. “You are alive. Really alive. Both of you. I am going to have to explain to my dear sister casually over breakfast how I just decided on a drunken whim to introduce a new intelligent species to Equestria.” 

‘But that isn’t the big problem. There is something else I’m missing. What was Retort saying earlier about Celestia’s soldiers being here? My head feels like it is full of pink fluffy felt.'

Retort chose that moment to speak, an abacus and sextant dancing beside him in an deep blue aura as he made calculations. “You will be a little late for breakfast princess. We may be underground and warded, but the pull of the moon is still strong beneath us. Judging by the declination of the mystic body I would reckon it to be about four in the afternoon.”

With a sigh, Luna closed her tired eyes and reached out for her Moon, feeling it gliding through the aether beneath Equestria like a content whale. The feel of Celestia’s magical signature was all over it.

Luna held the moon in her mind’s grasp, gently nudging it into a closer approximation of a perfect transit. Celestia never could get moonset quite right, but this particular time it felt like she had dunked the moon below the horizon like a basketball player shooting a hoop. 

Judging by the position of the moon it was exactly 4.15pm and judging by the mood of Celestia’s magical residue on the celestial object, she had most certainly not been enjoying a relaxing morning when she had caused it to set.

“Oh, buck me. Celly really is going to kill me.”

-- c --

The sunlight was fading, throwing long shadows through the elaborate topiary of the castle gardens as a freshly bathed Luna collapsed onto her lavish bed, exhausted but largely content. A tightly bound scroll bearing Celestia's cutie mark floated by her side, flanked by an elegant cut crystal flask and glass. 

Certainly, the day had been a shambles, but upon reflection she felt that there was much to celebrate. After all, her plans were underway. Before leaving, she had given Alembic and Retort their very own prioritised task lists, what little advice she could muster regarding modern Equestria and some bits with which to begin the rebuilding of her laboratory. 

Luna could not help rubbing her hooves together with glee. If the procurement of raw materials went smoothly, it could be ready for preliminary work within a day. She would only have an hour or two to sleep, but in the heady days of the second renaissance she had been known for going days without sleep when conducting her magical experiments. 

Luna ignored the glass and took a thoughtful swig of amber fluid from the bottle. Things had been a little rough with Celly this afternoon, but it could have been much, much worse.

Announcing her return to Canterlot by simply teleporting right into the anteroom of the day court had seemed like such a wonderful idea at the time. The anteroom was private enough for her to get her mane in order and she could see Celly right away, to set her sister's mind at ease without wasting time in flight or dealing with the guard. Trot right up to the throne wearing Equestria’s best poker face. "Hi sis, sorry I’m a little late. Caught up in things."

All that Luna had succeeded in doing was scaring the life out of a family of petitioning carrot farmers from Ponyville and nearly ensuring the total destruction of the throne room at the hooves of an overexcited contingent of Celestia’s royal guard. 

She had been so tired and her headache had been so distracting, under the circumstances Luna felt that it was quite forgivable that she had misjudged her teleport, landing just inside the main doors of the throne room. It was also perfectly understandable given her state of mind that she had also forgotten to remove the incredibly menacing spiked champron. 

And how could she possibly have known beforehand that Celly, having called a state of emergency, had stationed twenty of her best and most trusted unicorn guards at the base of her dias, all of them quaking in their armour since attending the secret briefing that had told them Nightmare Moon might be returning to take their beloved Celestia away from them again. Or at the very least, to expect an attack from one of her nasty pets.

The shocked tableau of her arrival had held for almost a full minute. In retrospect, Luna had to chuckle, she could easily picture how it must have looked from her sister’s or the petitioner’s points of view. She poured herself a respectful glass of brandy and settled into the covers as she imagined the events gaudily spread across the front pages of tomorrow’s ‘Equestria Daily’. It would, without doubt, centre on the breathless testimony of the terrified carrot farmers who had been unfortunate enough to have been standing before the throne.

She could just imagine how the interview must have progressed.

The reporter:
“Please, tell me in your own words, what in Equestria happened in there?”

Carrot farmer #1:
"We came here by hoof, all the way to Canterlot, to petition the kind Princess for tax relief, just like we do every year. The Harvest family works hard, but carrot's just don't sell like they used to. I blame all that junk food they force onto the foals these days. Not a-one of them knows what real food tastes like anymore! There ought to be a law. When I was a foal they.."

Carrot farmer #2:
"Dad! That's not what they want to hear. It started with a high pitched whining noise, getting louder and louder. A swirling blue cloud appeared at the end of the room. Then..." 

Reporter:
"Yes?"

Carrot farmer #2:
"Bang!"

"Carrot farmer #1:
"Aaagh!" (Checks pacemaker)

"Carrot farmer #2:
"We were bowled over by a huge magical blast. When we came to our senses, we were merciless at the brute’s feet. It was terrible, the beast; a dusty grey-blue atrocity with hock length spikes coming right out of its head. It smelt like nothing blessed by nature and it was glowering at us with horrible bloodshot eyes from inside a choking cloud of nasty grey dust.”

Carrot farmer #1:
“Princess Celestia’s horn was a-glowing like the end of the world, a huge ball of lightning was getting bigger and bigger at the tip. Some of the guards were building up spells of their own, some where making shields. Some of them just fainted! Not at all like the guards in my day. Why, my own brother was a royal guard and he told me..”

Carrot farmer #2:
“Dad!" 
"We thought we were done for. The horrible beast lifted it gaze from us to our glorious Princess...”

Reporter:
“And?"

Carrot farmer #2:
“Umm... Then it fell over. They made us all leave after that.”

Things could have become quite nasty, but as luck would have it, Luna had immediately passed out, landing squarely on her face in front of an appalled Celestia.

And that had saved her. An assault from the royal guard was not really that serious a matter, the magical champron itself probably would have been enough protection against ordinary soldiers. More importantly, her undignified collapse had saved Luna from having to deal with an angry and upset Celestia.

She had awoken in the castle infirmary. The doctors told her that Celestia had waited by her bedside for as long as she could spare but had to leave to deal with military matters. Apparently there was some kind of exercise going on. 

Celestia had left a scroll on her bedside table, sealed with her sigil, for Luna's eyes only. 

My Dear Sister,

I don’t know exactly what you were trying to achieve with your drunken prank earlier today, or where you found that hideous contrivance you were wearing, but I can at least take some comfort in the fact that you are feeling happy enough to want to play tricks on the castle guests, like you did in times past. 

I would caution you, however, that these times in which we now live are far removed from those turbulent days you knew before the advent of Nightmare Moon. Dragons have become a rarity, minotaurs and griffins are largely assimilated into society and the gates of Tartarus stay firmly shut. Most of the time. The citizens of Equestria no longer need to deal regularly with conflict or disaster and have become a little soft and effete. Such is the cost of stability. I do think that this current state of affairs is preferable, even if it is a little dull in comparison to the life we have known in more ‘interesting’ times.

I have made a statement to the press, I would expect that you will issue one of your own and follow it up with an apology to the petitioners, and possibly a moderate gratuity at your own discretion.

Most importantly, where in wide green Equestria did you find a bottle of distilled moonbeam? You smelt so strongly of spirit I advised the doctors to keep you away from naked flames. The next time you dig up some of that foul brew you have to share, I have not tasted your speciality for hundreds of years. Please do keep it away from the mortals though. You do remember what happened last time, don't you? I recall it took you a nearly a week to clean off the near surface of the moon.

I have decided to take your warning from yesterday more seriously as I too have felt the signature of Nightmare Moon, from the direction of the Everfree Forest. I don’t want to sound like Mother, but when you did not come home I became worried and launched a search mission. I have told the royal guard that it was an exercise and so have earned myself the tedious task of evaluating their performances this evening and writing reports.

Take the night off and sleep in a little, I’ll raise the moon this time. We can talk over breakfast.

I remember what moonbeam hangovers feel like.

Celly.



‘An exercise? Oh, Clever. Celly was always good at turning the unexpected to her advantage, even the most egregious mistakes. I guess that I can follow her example and do the same. I can allow her to think that I was simply pulling a drunken prank.’ 

Everything had turned out for the best. Celly had calmed down, Luna’s plans were under way. Even her headache had ceased, once that damnable champron had been removed. Some wag had hung it on the wall at the foot of her bed in place of the ancient portrait of Starswirl that usually occupied that position. None of the servants were so bold, it must have been one of her Night Guard.

‘I do feel bad for the trouble that I caused for Celly. I think I should make it up to her with a gift. Something that shows that, while we may fight and have little misunderstandings, we still love each other.’

Watching through her window as the shadows lengthened in the royal gardens, Luna hummed a lay of lost and redeemed love that had been ancient even at the time of her banishment. She had no trouble at all picturing Lady Twilight Sparkle as the protagonist, in a beautiful brocade and velvet gown as she swooned dramatically into Sir Luna’s armoured embrace, a knight of Equestria doomed by her sworn and deadly quest to rid the east of troublesome dragons.

It suddenly struck Luna as desperately unfair the she should be experiencing the heady joys of a new-found love when her dutiful sister was stuck with administrative duties and boring reports.

‘How long has it been since Celly has had any.. well, action.. at all?’ Luna mused. There had been no mention in historical texts of Celestia having had any consorts at all over the last millennia, official or even just rumoured. There was not even a hint of gossip. It was as if the population were afraid of the idea that their Perfect Celestia may be an ordinary pony with needs of her own.

‘Celly is smart enough to know that too. As the sole ruler of Equestria for a millenia she has taken on all of the responsibility meant to be shared between the both of us. If she believes that the people need to see her as a perfect being devoid of the emotional frailties of mortals, just to have confidence in her rule, then that is the image that she will portray. No matter what it may cost her.’

Luna sipped her brandy and felt a pang of loneliness on behalf of her long-suffering sister. Surely, there must be some way in which she could help break this solitary deadlock. Who in Equestria knew Celly and what Celly really needed better than her loving sister?

Luna’s eyes grew wide as the pieces of a plan fell into place.

‘Oh, I have the perfect idea!’

> In Ponyville. Part 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Luna sat at the cold stone bench, her head buried in her hooves. The night had started so well. She had awoken in the deliciously cool dark of evening, filled with a sense of purpose and without a trace of the blinding headache she had endured the previous afternoon. Her mouth may have tasted of socks and felt like dry moondust but that was only to be expected and was not a cause for any concern or a dampening of enthusiasm.

She had cheekily lit the fringes of the night’s dome with a spray of aurora as she flew to the Everfree Castle, her bubbling exuberance too great to contain. It helped to know that on a little balcony in an otherwise insignificant farming hamlet a certain mauve unicorn’s mouth would be hanging open in shock as she furiously sketched the rare phenomena into one of her bulging notebooks.

Her ebullient mood had not survived the first sight of her laboratory.

Nothing had changed.

Perhaps that was unfair. The floors and benches had been cleaned, what little glassware and other equipment that had survived since Nightmare’s rule was sorted and stacked neatly in the storage cupboards, but the cleaning was substandard and none of the raw materials or equipment she had specifically requested in her beautifully prepared and penned lists were present.

Though she had to admit, the cheerful little vase of red roses was a nice touch.

Alembic was curled into a tight ball in the far corner of the main room, her wings covered her eyes but Luna knew that she was close to tears. Retort stood directly in front of her, the effect of his protective display ruined by the visible tremor in his front legs.

Luna sighed. Biological beings were so .. difficult. One little frustrated slip-up with using the Royal Canterlot Voice in an enclosed space meant that she had to lose at least an hour of valuable lab time calming them down.

“Please, both of you, I’m not angry,” Luna ventured. “Just tell me what happened.”

With a backward glance at an unresponsive Alembic, Retort began to tell the story.

--

Dusk was the perfect time of the day to be a newly minted moon-pony on a mission, even if you were reduced to hiding in a bush on the outskirts of a small town. 

The painful direct light of the sun was muted enough to be tolerable, but strong enough to show all the bright colours of the cheerful buildings and shops of Ponyville, their gay and fanciful placards advertising all sorts of business to the wildly colourful inhabitants in their strange clothing. 

Some of it was comfortingly familiar to the siblings, quills and sofas having changed little over the last thousand years. Some of it was almost beyond belief. Alembic’s eyes widened in wonder as a flying machine seemingly comprised of candy canes rose laboriously from the vicinity of a building that looked like a gigantic confection, a single pink puff of a pony working furiously at the controls.

Alembic fussed with the hood of her formal cloak. Princess Luna had insisted that they keep their tufted ears covered and Alembic’s webbed wings securely hidden. That was of no consequence to Retort, who kept his mane cropped close to his head but Alembics fine spray of silver would be a mass of static-charged frizz within the hour. There were drawbacks to being a moon pony.

Retort counted the contents of Luna’s coin purse and checked the list for the items marked as being of the highest importance. Equestria’s golden bits had not changed very much in the last millenium, but an alarming number would be needed to purchase their supplies. Without the Princess’ explanatory notes, Retort was fairly certain he would have assumed that he could have restored the entire Castle with the bag of bits Luna had casually tossed to him as she left the laboratory.

With a nod to each other for reassurance, the moon ponies set off towards the town.

--

Alembic stamped the dust in frustration.

The market was empty. Signs swung slowly in the evening breeze above the firmly bolted doors of the towns businesses. Fruit carts and produce stalls still lined the main street, though one or two had been upended in the panicked rush to clear the market square. 

The resident’s pastel manes and wide eyes were comically visible. From within the darkened buildings, from behind the square’s merry fountain and even from under several of the upended carts, several score of obviously terrified ponies watched their every move, ducking back into cover if one of the moon ponies was too obviously looking in their direction.

“What do you suppose happened here?” ventured Alembic. “There are no signs of any kind of recent disaster or violence. Why do they hide from us? The princess said the wars were long finished with and thoroughly forgotten.”

Retort consulted the checklist. “Perhaps they will warm to us when they see the colour of our gold. The Princess wants good quality roses for love magic, preferably red. Try knocking on that florist’s door.”

Alembic gingerly approached the shuttered building. Upended buckets of blooms and a floral watering can flanked the firmly closed front door.

“Hello? Is anyone there?”

There was a thin squeak from within, as if somepony were stifling a squeal with their hooves. Pressing her ear to the door Alembic could hear a pony’s voice moaning lowly: “The horror! The horror!”

Alembic turned sadly away from the door. “These ponies are terrified. Did the brief return of the Nightmare affect them so much? What cowards. I wonder, brother, what kind of ponies they would be had our Princess’ vision of a new Equestria prevailed.”

Retort turned away from poking through the mass of spilled flowers and lifted a skeptical eyebrow. “Alembic, she was completely barking mad. I am not sure that ..”

“SHE WAS NOT MAD.” 

Unable to endure Retorts incredulous expression, Alembic studied her hooves. “She was getting better. I’m sure she was. They didn’t have to leave her all alone for a thousand years.”

Retort gave his sister a quick nuzzle as he dropped a bouquet of roses into her saddle bag. “Well, at the very least I agree with your assessment of the local ponies. They may as well be made of marshmallow.” 

They both spun around at the sound of a disapproving snort from behind them.

"Words so harsh are ill to hear,
In Ponyville there’s much to fear,
Monsters from Tartarus, villains of renown,
It seems every week they must rebuild this town.”

A zebra was picking her way through the debris, stopping every so often to regard one of the hidden locals with a quizzically lifted brow.

“Parasprites, wizards, magical tests,
Celestia’s student can make a huge mess.
In Ponyville’s heroes we can have some pride,
But most everyday ponies should just run and hide."

“But.. but we are not evil. We’re not even dangerous,” interjected Alembic.

The zebra sadly shook her head and lifted a hoof to point at them.

“Your portentous capes, whilst practical attire,
Speak to these folk of a threat most dire.
You will see no business form these ponies tonight,
But I may be of some assistance, what is your plight?”

“Well, we..”

“Hold on Alembic, I’ve got this one.” 

Retort ostentatiously cleared his throat and spoke:

“A checklist we bear,
One thousand lines of fine print,
No shop is open.”

Retort felt pinpricks of sweat form on his brow as several tumbleweeds rolled past, accompanied by the sound of crickets. The zebra looked like she had tasted something unpleasant and was undecided about where to spit.

'I think I’ll need to try a different tack,' he mused.

“Of small compense, these ragged roses red,
Bequethed, humble upon her returning hour,
shall liven the grey mood of our princess dour.
Freshly risen, the golden sun put abed
She of the night, cold, with visage dread
Our empty bags shall regard with brutal disdain
Her golden bits unspent. Her checklist in vai..”

“STOP THAT.”

Retort suddenly found that he was a scant inch from the muzzle of an annoyed zebra.

“If herbs you need, or a potion brewed,
the wisdom of my people, or simply some food,
come with me back to my forest home.
But don’t ever again try to speak with a poem.”

The zebra spun about and stalked away from the town centre, seemingly not concerned about whether her offer was accepted or not.

“I didn’t think it was that bad,” ventured Retort.

Alembic placed a comforting hoof on his shoulder. “It wasn’t good. Now make sure you slide some bits under the door to pay for those flowers. We’re not thieves.”

“But I didn’t get to the sestet.”

“We can both thank Luna for small mercies. If you had, that zebra might have hit you. I might have too. Let’s follow her.”

--

“A zebra!” Luna interjected, as she accepted a cup of herbal tea from a greatly restored Alembic.

She paused to delicately sniff the cup. “And with a great aptitude for preparing herbal infusions, if this tea is indeed her own work. You must have run into Zecora of the Everfree.”

"Yes Princess, it was a gift. She was most accommodating, even after Retort made a foal of himself by trying to answer her in sonnets."

"Oh no! Retort, did you not know that iambic pentameter is a subtle insult to a Zebra? I only hope that you did not try a limerick. You may have had a fight on your hooves."

Retort looked very sheepish as he stared into his own steaming teacup. "Haiku wasn't working, it was the only thing I could think of..."

Luna openly giggled and felt the last of the bad atmosphere seemingly evaporate through the thick stones of the old laboratory.

’This lack of provisions is not such a disaster. I may have been saved from making a bad decision. What was I thinking of, brewing up potions for my Twilight? How gauche. This demands a far more elegant approach.

Besides, potions are so difficult to administer, if one wishes to remain discreet.’

--

After some hours at her workbench, Luna reached out to the moon in a distracted lazy way, just to feel it's comforting presence. 

’Hmm, It's nearly 4am. I should finish within the hour if I want to be in Canterlot by dawn.’

In front of her gemstones were arranged by colour and grade across the surface of the bench. Several large faceted sapphires spun slowly in the air around her head.

She regarded them with a suspicious eye. They had to be perfect. Gemstone magic was an ancient art that had largely fallen from favour due both to its innate complexity and the difficulty of finding the right materials. Powerful pieces like the infamous Elements of Harmony were rare for good reason.

’Perhaps if I use three at once? They could be combined into a nice necklace...’

There was a resounding crack as all three gemstones fractured into powder before her eyes.

"This is useless. If these stones are to contain my power it seems that I shall have to facet them myself from the raw stock. Alembic, take a note..."

Receiving no response, Luna sought out the moon ponies, finding them curled together in a corner, huddled under their cloaks.

’Sleeping? They never had to do that when they were creatures of dust and magic. Oh dear.. They don’t even have a bed. Or blankets. This is precisely why I do not keep pets.’

Luna regarded the sleeping ponies whilst she thought. Alembic had found an easy way to compensate for the lack of a soft object to sleep on by simply sprawling herself over the top of Retort. 

’I imagine that Retort will have much to say on that matter when they awaken, that cannot be comfortable. I shall have to find a solution for this, and quickly.’

’But for now, my work here is done. It is time to stretch my wings, and enjoy what little remains of my night.’
> In Ponyville. Part 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Idly humming a nocturne that was ancient before ponies had settled the gentle grasslands south of Canterlot, Luna glided low across Ponyville.

As Luna passed over the town square she noted that her favourite unicorn was abed. Intricate technical dreams wound about the living library tree in delicate lilac threads. Twilight’s brilliant mind wrought forks and whorls of inquisition and speculation into her dreams that would terrify one of merely mortal intellect. 

Despite her decidedly non-mortal intellect, Luna herself felt a little uneasy. Looking too long at the structure of Twilight’s filigree dreams gave a pony a feeling similar to staring at a clever optical illusion.

Intrigued, Luna slowed, sloping into a lazy loop around the Golden Oaks Library.

I have an hour in hoof before my sisters dawn strips the secrets from the sky. Why not unwind with some harmless fun? If I watch from a careful distance Twilight will never know I am here.

I don’t need to interfere with her dream. Or even touch it. I’ll be Just like.. like a radio, tuning in to her beautiful imagination..

With a nicker that would not have been out of place coming from a naughty foal planning a raid on a cookie jar, Luna snugged herself down into a handy cumulus, puffing up a nice pillow of puffy vapour.

Using the very tips of her great dark wings, she rowed the cloud like a tiny boat down towards Twilight’s bedroom window.

Luna studied the soft tendrils of Twilight’s dream. When viewed from up close, it is much akin to an elegant flowering vine. Here is an inviting flower, just reach out and...

A brash voice cut across Luna’s concentration. “Hey, princess. Watcha doin’?” 

“Gaah..” Luna’s wings whipped out in shock, neatly demolishing the top half of the cloud. “Element of Loyalty, what are you doing out so early?”

“Just Rainbow Dash will do, Princess. Nothing much, I was just flying back from a Wonderbolts show in Baltimare, it took a little longer than I thought.”

Luna was genuinely impressed. “You flew all the way from Baltimare in one flight? I am surprised Rainbow Dash, I had thought my sister and I the only ponies capable of that sort of journey, though dragons will do such on a whim.”

Not waiting for an invitation, Rainbow Dash settled onto Luna’s cloud and stretched her wings, inspecting the primaries carefully. 

“Well, you princesses might have the huge wings, but it’s not all about size you know. There are wicked updraughts all the way through the Foal Mountains. Catch those up to where the air gets thin and you have the height to glide for miles. Just watch out for ice on your wings.”

“Most impressive Rainbow Dash, but please take care, riding those mountainous ridge lifts can be very dangerous. I understand that you mortal ponies have an affinity for breathing air. You would be in great peril if you blacked out.”

“Yeah, yeah.”, Rainbow Dash waved a dismissive hoof. “That’s only happened to me twice. And I only hit the ground the first time. You’ve got to push the boundaries to be the best you know.”

Luna was entirely uncertain how she should respond to that. “Well, I guess..”

Evidently satisfied with her inspection, Rainbow Dash furled her wings and leaned in, conspiratorially, “Sooo, Princess, why you are staring at Twi’s library?”

“Wha.. I’m just ..um.. napping Rainbow Dash, this cloud seemed somewhat convenient.”

“Yeaahhh, right. I’m a weather pony, Princess. I know clouds and I see your hoofprints all over this one. It’s also totally at the wrong altitude. You moved it here and shaped it. What are you up to? Has Twi done something wrong? Is she in trouble?” 

Rainbow Dash crossed her hooves over her chest and lowered her brow, “Are you a spy?”

“A spy? I’m not spying on anypony...” Luna felt her face glowing red.

Rainbow Dash facehoofed. “Ooooh. I get it now. Flutters used to do the same thing to me before we became friends at flight school.”

Shimmying over to Luna’s side, Rainbow Dash put a hoof around Luna’s neck, bringing their faces close together. “So, you got a thing for our Twilight Sparkle, Princess?”

“No! no.” Luna recoiled. “We are just concerned for the welfare of one of our loyal subjects. Twilight has the special attention of Celestia after all, we like to make sure that she is safe.”

Obviously enjoying her game, Rainbow pushed up a cushion of vapour and lazily stretched. “Yeah, not buying it. Look, Luna, it’s like this...”

The eyebrow Luna raised in response to that uninvited familiarity would have sent most courtiers scrambling for the nearest exit, be it door or window.

This Rainbow Dash is either made or sterner stuff than the courtiers, or she is totally oblivious. I honestly cannot tell which may be the case. Why, it’s rather refreshing. Luna mused.

The genuinely oblivious Rainbow Dash continued: “All of us girls look out for the others, OK? We’re a little worried about Twilight ourselves. It looks like she hasn’t found anypony special and we think she might be lonely, but she’s too much of a nerd to do anything about it.”

“You seem to be saying that the other elements have all found partners?”

“Well, yeah. I guess. I’ve got someone I look out for. As for the other girls, Pinkie is only one I know of who isn’t hooked up, and who knows what she’s really thinking.”

Rainbow stopped to think, carefully choosing her next words.

“What I’m saying Luna, is that we have your back, OK? We want to see Twi happy and I guess it was obvious that it was going to have to be a Princess.”

Despite having serious misgivings with the direction of the conversation, Luna was intrigued. “Really? Why?”

“Well, raised by Celestia, brother in the royal guard and all that. Twi and I were hanging out a lot after she got me into reading. I thought she was cute, especially when she gets worked up about something, but she never saw me as anything but a friend, like the possibility of something more didn’t even exist.

I got friendzoned Luna. Me.” 

Rainbow Dash thumped her chest with a hoof for emphasis. 

“Me. The Dash. Most awesome pony in Equestria. I bet if I had a horn to go with these wings things would have been different.”

Luna was uncertain whether to be offended in Twilight’s defense. “It’s like you are saying that she is shallow.”

“Not shallow, Luna. It’s more like...” 

Rainbow idly scratched her head as she thought. “Twi needs something special. She reads so many things in those books of hers. Books from all over Equestria and all through time, for as long as ponies have been writing stuff down.

It’s like nothing in the real world, right here in Ponyville, is enough to grab her. She needs something totally new, unknown to just any pony with a book in her library.”

Rainbow Dash spread her wings, poised for flight. 

“I guess that means you. Goodnight Luna. Don’t leave Twi waiting too long OK?”

--

Luna glided towards Canterlot, with just the occasional beat of her dark wings to keep above the tops of the neat ranks of apple trees covering the twilit hills beneath her. Discomfited the ease with which Rainbow Dash had seen through her misdirection, she had opted to leave Twilight’s dreams be and fly straight home.

A hair’s breadth of sunlight crested the low hills, bringing warm colours to the cheerful red silos and farmhouses of Sweet Apple Acres. Before the doors of a large red barn a figure could be seen moving.

Luna stopped dead in the air and simply stared, mouth agape.

“As Rainbow Dash said, size isn’t everything. But for some fillies, there’s just no substitute. He’s perfect.”

--

Celestia grimly speared another breakfast cake with her elegant silver fork. The utensil visibly beginning to bend from the wild strength with which it was gripped.

“Sister, dear.” Luna ventured. “You are going to break another one. Calm yourself please.”

The teleknesis field vanished as the frustrated Celestia gave up and simply ate the cake directly from her plate, in the manner of an earth pony.

Luna sipped from a delightful contrivance she had recently discovered .. a ‘box’ of juice, and tried without success to prevent her own admittedly infuriating grin from widening any further. 

Celestia could stand it no longer. “Luna, I know that smile all too well and it always portends disaster. Will you not tell me what you are planning? The court will not stand for another prank.”

Luna adopted an air of wrongful hurt, her hoof dramatically held over her heart. “Sister, all I have planned for today is the delivery of my sincere apology for the recent troubles I have caused you. Is it wrong that fulfilling my duties as a princess and honouring my beloved sister makes me happy?”

Celestia’s eye twitched. Luna’s huge smile seemed to contain more teeth than was anatomically possible for a pony. “Have you given any more thought to writing to Twilight Sparkle?”

Luna seemed lost in thought. “Who came up with the idea of putting juice into a box? Of all things, a box? What an astonishing feat of lateral thinking. That pony should be commended, perhaps a national holiday would be appropriate.”

Celestia let out a huge sigh and rose from her cushions. “Have it your way, then. I must now prepare for court. Pleasant dreams, sister.”

Luna’s grin returned in force. “Oh no sister, no bed for me. There are errands I must perform ere my apology is presented, for I shall do so personally.”

“That will not be necessary sister, a missive would suffice.” 

Luna drew the last of the juice through the straw with a protracted slurp before setting her grin to radient.

“I really must insist.”

--

Applejack furrowed her brow. “Okay, so Ah understand that you had a right royal row with your sister and you want to give her a present to make up for it. That part at least is kinda normal.

What Ah don’t understand is why that present has to be my brother. And what’s up with this here bow?”

Big Mac looked dolefully over his shoulder at the huge pink bow adorning his back. Applebloom and Scootaloo were deftly wrapping his body artfully in wide swathes of matching ribbon while Sweetie Belle directed.

“In my time, Miss Applejack, to be so chosen was regarded as an honour, and the bow is strictly ceremonial.” Luna was absently wiggling a quill with her levitation, trying to get just the right wording on the apology card. Satisfied, she pinned the card to the ribbon crossing Macintosh’s huge chest.

“But Princess, a pony belongs to themselves, an all of that serfdom and servitude stuff was done away with hundreds of years ago, it just don’t seem right. Meanin' no disrespect, he’s needed here on the farm.”

“Oh, Applejack”, Luna was laughing now, “There seems to have been a misunderstanding. Master Macintosh will only be needed for one night.”

Comprehension dawned in Applejack’s eyes and she began to smirk. “Well, Mac did say he was saving himself for some special mare.”

Luna adopted a wry expression. “I assure you Miss Applejack, they don’t come any more special than my sister.”

Applejack leaned in and her tone turned conspiratorial. “But he’s come straight from the plowin' the north field, shouldn’t we at least give him a brush and a bath?”

“Oh, no Applejack. I have known my sister many lifetimes of mortal ponies and I know exactly where her - ahem - preferences lay. Just as he is will be more than fine.”

“Well, shouldn’t we at least take off the plowing collar?” Applejack whispered.

“No, no, no.” Luna sidled up to Big Mac, giving him a playful brush with her tail, “The plowing collar stays right where it is. Unless of course...” Luna looked playfully up at Big Mac from under her lashes, “my sister wants to try it on.”

Big Mac’s eyes dilated as his imagination caught up to the conversation, he sat down heavily, much to the annoyance of the Cutie Mark Crusaders straightening the ribbons, a goofy grin growing on his broad face.

Applejack looked up into her big brothers wool-gathering face, feeling a little out of place. It's like I never woke up this morning and I'm still stuck in one of those strange dreams, like the ones where you go to school and find out you've got pants on. I guess it's always a bit like that when the Princesses are around.

“Well, what do ya say Big Mac, are you sure you’re okay with being a .. present for her majesty Princess Celestia?”

As if from a long way away Big Macs gaze shifted down to his sister. “Eeyup.”

“But," Applejack fretted, "Princess, what do we tell ponies. The whole dang town could see you coming here in that.. er.. whatever you call that thing.”

Luna paused as she led a beaming Big Mac onto her gothic monstrousity of a chariot. “Such is not my concern Miss Applejack and my sisters propriety is not mine to keep. I do not feel that I adequately understand these times well enough to offer you counsel. In my day a family so honoured would hold a rather wild and saucy celebration and involve the whole town.”

“Ya mean Ah should hold a ‘My brothers gettin’ laid by Princess Celestia' party?”

Luna settled into her opulent seat, as her coachmare stepped down to close the door. “In this matter I trust your judgement, element of honesty, to do such as you feel fit.”

Applejack doffed her hat, holding it to her chest. “Ah’d better give Pinkie a call I think.”

---

Luna drew the curtains against the late afternoon sun and fell happily into bed, still giggling. She had presented her special gift to Celestia at the closing of the day court. Courtiers had frozen in place with their mouths open as the huge hunky workhorse had paced evenly down the red carpet sporting a wide, confident grin, the giant pink bow flapping against his sides as his muscles visibly rippled beneath.

Aghast, Celestia had watched Big Mac approach. She had levitated the card from his chest, read it with a stoic expression, then facehoofed.

Luna snuggled down into the comforter, satisfied with the days outcomes. Celestia had closed the court immediately and given her sister a look that could frighten a basilisk, but she had not sent the huge workhorse away.

Perhaps some of the old ways could still be salvaged.