Heart Attack... Again.
Cadance stretched her slender build with the softest of yawns, crawling out of bed with a frazzled mane that begged to be brushed. Cantering out of her elegant oversized bedroom the alicorn made her way towards the hallway of the palace, the beautifully decorated lavender-colored area overflowing with the scent of fresh flowers.
A single guardian unicorn leaned up against the wall dead center of the long stretch, loud snoring could be heard echoing into the distance. Cadance quick to trot over, gently nudging the poor guard on her side with concern.
"Shouldn't you be alert?" Cadance quizzically asked with an arched brow.
"Hmmm, no I'm just resting my eyes!?" The guard quickly snapped awake as she lifted up to her hooves in a proud courageous stance.
"As you were." Cadance giggled heading off towards the kitchen casually.
"Nopony gets past me!" The mare yawned before plopping onto her flank with a snort, nodding off seconds later into a loud snore.
Cadance poked her head playfully into the Royal Kitchen, it was more of a personal bakery in both size and delectable options to enjoy. But Cadance loved that this room could bring her family together, Shining Armor using warm glowing magic to pour himself a fresh mug of coffee.
"Shouldn't Flurry be awake begging for a donut breakfast?" Cadance pranced to her hubby, placing a loving kiss upon his cheek.
"I think she's still outside playing with her new toy." Shining proudly smirked as the mug floated at his side, the stallion walking to a nearby counter plucking a chocolate donut from a beige box.
"Aww, she loves that changeling doll I bought?" Cadance used her own magic to pour coffee into a heart-shaped mug, which she floated down from on top of a shelf.
"Nope, she's playing with Daddy's toy today!" The stallion chuckled with a dorky grin of superiority.
"A Power Pony figure?" Cadance lifted her mug to take a dainty little sip.
"Those are mint!~ I bought her a bow and arrows, she's outside pretending to be a Cupid Pony just like Mommy." Shining smiled warmly, just as a spew of scalding hot coffee sprayed into his face.
"You did what!?" Cadance screamed in absolute terror, her husband collapsing to the floor groaning in pain.
"Why would you spit in my face!?" His cries echoed into the distance, Cadance rushing towards the garden outside at full speed.
The Royal Garden was in absolute chaos. Once vibrant flowers were trampled and strewn about the grounds haphazardly, a few fiery red rose bushes now set aflame as maid ponies were frantically trying to put them out.
A Pegasus Guard flying over to the princess from a perch hidden high in the nearby oak tree, her face full of determination to halt the sudden madness that had begun to claim the castle.
"Ma'am! "Click, click." The castle is under attack! "Click, click." Your daughter has enchanted arrows to become horrible love granting weapons of destruction!!" The guard saluted Cadance, explaining the situation as an odd clicking continued to fill the air.
"I know, we must stop her before this gets out of hoof! "Click, click." Can you hear that?" Cadance narrowed her eyes to the guard in utter confusion.
"That would be me, ma'am!" The guard unclipped her front armor, a large heart-shaped pulse bouncing painfully under her skin as if trying to explode out of her chest cavity.
"Oh, dear Luna!? ~ Are you ok!?" Cadance jumped back a few feet in shock and disgust.
"Other than really wanting to cuddle with a stallion, yes ma'am!!" The guard replied professionally before galloping over to the maids to offer help.
They would only scream, rushing off in horror.
"Princess, your daughter is in the Visitors Hall!" A stallion guard rushed out from the castle in a breathless manner.
"Excellent, we can corner her inside! ~ Assemble your best stallions and meet me there!!" Cadance let a large sigh of relief escape her muzzle.
"Actually ma'am, I think I need medical attention. ~ My heart is about to burst with affection and tolerance!" The guard lifted his hoof up to show a single arrow sticking out of it.
"You're barely hurt, assemble the guards!!" Cadance huffed in anger, darting off inside with thoughts that she needed far tougher stallions, running through her mind.
"Yes ma'am…" The guard sighed as he spun around, several dozen arrows plunged deeply into his backside pulsed in pain.
Cadance galloped at her top speed towards the Visitors Hall, her long frazzled multicolored mane billowing behind her as she took a sharp right down the hallway. Coming directly in contact with an annoyed Maid Pony, one who was pinned to the brick wall by no less than thirteen arrows.
"Please, kill me." The maid sighed in a cute prench accent, her hooves dangled underneath her never touching the floor.
"What happened!?" Cadance tried to pluck a few arrows free in worry, yet just managed to push them in deeper.
"Your daughter shot me with arrows, lots of arrows…" The maid swatted the princess away in annoyance.
"But they should be Love Arrows! ~ Not fatal at all!!" Cadance tilted her head to the side confused.
"Oui, they were but I used my ballet training to dodge them all mademoiselle…" The poor maid coughed up a stream of crimson.
"Then came the real arrows, in hindsight I should've just taken the non-fatal ones… and know the warm caress of...love." The maid whimpered in utmost pain at her current predicament.
"Don't worry, I'll avenge you!" Cadance wiped tears from her eyes, touched by this pony's sacrifice.
"But I'm not dead…" She quickly quipped.
"I must stop my daughter before she hurts anypony else!!" Cadance knew what she had to do, galloping off towards the distant sounds of familiar screaming.
"You're just going to leave me hanging!?" The maid blew a loud raspberry, this job totally not paying enough.
"Now kiss!" Flurry Heart giggled with a bow in the hoof, she had enchanted more arrows after finding her aunt Twilight, right where she wanted her.
Flash Sentry currently collapsed on the icy marble floor, his body shivering in fear as Twilight held him close for comfort. "All I see is pink, am I alright Twilight?" Flash weakly squeezed her lavender hoof, his irises had swollen and grew into two bright pink hearts.
"You have heart eyes, but yes…" Twilight held back tears, knowing he'd never be able to see again.
"It's not too noticeable right?" Flash swallowed a large lump in his throat, those horrific eyes at least triple their normal size.
"Shhh, rest." Twilight pressed her hoof to his lips, not wanting to answer that particular question.
"I said kiss!" Flurry drew the bow back in growing annoyance.
Twilight winced and leaned inward, planting a tiny peck on the cheek of the stallion.
"Did a duck just peck me?" He asked confused and lost.
"No, I want a proper snog! ~ Kisses, belly rubs, the whole darn thing!!" The four-year-old shot an arrow directly past her aunt's ear in anger.
"But I don't love him!" Twilight narrowed her eyes, snapping back sternly.
"Great, I took an arrow for nothing!" Flash snorted.
"Oh, but you will… heeheehee!" Flurry drew back another Love Arrow, aiming it directly for her aunt's big butt.
"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" Cadance screamed with passion, engulfing Twilight in a bubble of reflective magic.
The bow ricocheted directly into Flash's chest like a bullet. "Please, stop shooting me!" He groaned in very much constant agony.
"Mommy!?" Flurry spun around in shock, seeing her mother brandishing a sleek pink Love Shotgun in her hooves.
"Put down the arrows and bow!" Cadance narrowed her eyes nervously.
"Really Boomer?" Flurry giggled at such an obsolete choice of weaponry, totally a mom choice.
"I said drop it!" Cadance lifted the gun into her hooves.
"You can't hurt me, mommy, if it loves… I can kill it!" Flurry lifted her tiny bow up in a defensive stance.
"You only have one shot, but ask yourself this… did I load my shotty with just a single bullet or six?" Cadance could feel her heart thud, time itself slowing down to a crawl.
"Do you feel lucky? ~ Do ya punk!?" Cadance spoke these fateful words, pressing down on the trigger of her weapon.
Flurry releasing her arrow with a precision headshot, the castle filled with the melodramatic sound of love-shed.
"Then we both die!" Cadance finished her story breathless, once neat coat now fluffed out beyond repair.
"..." Shining Armor raised a brow to his wife in concern, curled up atop their impressive pink colored bed.
"That's why I believe she's not ready for toys that simulate weaponry." The alicorn gently began to catch her breath, sliding into bed with her husband on this quiet chilly night.
She was absolutely certain she had gotten her point across.
Besides young fillies needed dolls and dresses, not weapons of war.
"Honey, I love you and you're the light of my life!" Shining Armor used his magic to hover a tiny object out from under the bed.
"..." Cadance squealed sheepishly.
"It's just a water gun." He held a petite pink toy in front of his wife, who blushed a dark red.
At least he knew where his daughter's overactive imagination came from.