Apple Bloom shouldn’t be feeling the way she does, but she does, and she doesn’t know how her family or friends will take it
Apple Bloom realizes she’s a fillyfooler, but now the pressure is on to keep it a secret. Her family has always been conservative, and Equestria only recently learned to accept ponies like her. Can she handle it? Will the truth come out? Will she?
Dear Diary, Do you ever feel like you don’t belong, almost like you’re completely different from what everyone else tells you you are? Well that’s how I feel all the time. I wish I had a different name. I wish I had a different body. I wish I had a different life. I feel like nopony really understands me, even my closest friends who understand me. There are times when I think that Celestia has abandoned me. I really don’t know what to do with myself anymore, but all I know is that if anyone found out the reason, it would be all over for me. Nopony would love me anymore. I just try to ignore it, but it’s not easy when the person who’s causing the most problems sits next to you in class, and talks to you every day after school. I just try to keep my head low and move one day at a time, and I feel like I can’t tell anyone my feelings out loud. So that’s why I got this diary, to say the things I can’t say out loud. -AB.
It was 1:00 am at Sweet Apple Acres, and Apple Bloom was under her covers with a pencil and a flashlight, writing in a little yellow book. She knew she should probably have been asleep hours ago, and she would probably be really tired come morning, but she had found herself tossing and turning ever since turning in.
She put down her pencil and looked at the work she had done, admiring how much her mouthwriting had improved in the last year. It was a rare thing for her to admire something about herself nowadays, but she had to keep pushing forward.
She stared at the writing, repeating certain phrases in her head. She was proud of what she had written, and it felt good to get this off her chest and to put that frustration she was feeling inside herself somewhere. Anywhere.
Finally feeling tired enough, she took the diary and put it underneath her bed with some of her other belongings, making sure to put her old bed sheet above it so that nopony could see it. Next she turned off her flashlight, quietly put it in her side table drawer next to her handy dandy notebook, rolled over, and shut her eyes. She slowly drifted off into a deep sleep.
Apple Bloom opened her eyes and saw that she was in a field full of flowers surrounded by bushes. There were sunflowers, roses, tulips, poppies, and many more. She took in the sheer beauty of the sights around her, all of the colors, the smell of the amazing aroma, it was the most beautiful place she had ever seen.
Suddenly she heard a rustling coming from one of the bushes behind her, and she quickly turned around to look at the source. After about a minute she saw what had been making the noise. A white filly about her height and age, with a beautiful light purple mane with grey stripes. Apple Bloom recognized the filly as Sweetie Belle, one of her best friends along with Scootaloo, and her tormentor for the past few weeks.
As soon as they made eye contact Sweetie Belle stopped for a second, giving Apple Bloom a look at her seemingly perfect green eyes, gleaming from the sunlight being produced in her dream. After a few seconds Sweetie Belle started to walk forward towards Apple Bloom, and it seemed to be going on slow motion for the yellow filly. She could see a small hint of red on Sweetie Belle’s face, as she felt her own face start to heat up. Although she knew what was about to happen, she didn’t try to stop it, because it felt so right.
Sweetie Belle then stepped up to Apple Bloom, their noses inches apart, and on the inside she was begging for her friend to close the distance. “Yes! Yes! Please do it,” she thought as she stared into Sweetie Belle’s shining eyes that were locked in on her own. Then Apple Bloom’s prayers were answered, as Sweetie Belle closed her eyes, and leaned closer, her lips puckered. Apple Bloom followed suit, shutting her eyes and leaning in for a kiss. “This is so romantic. Ah can’t believe this is happening! Ah…”
Her thoughts were stopped as she suddenly heard disturbances coming from the bushes, and when she opened her eyes, she saw something frightening. She saw many different ponies she knew. Her family, her classmates, some ponies she knew from around Ponyville, but they didn’t look like themselves. They all had big scowls on their faces, and their eyes were a very scary shade of red. Then she turned to Sweetie Belle, whose expression had turned from a love struck one to the scowl that the others around her possessed. “I knew it,” Sweetie Belle exclaimed, speaking for the first time, “I knew she was a fillyfooler!”
Apple Bloom’s eyes shot open after hearing the words come from the unicorn’s mouth. “Wait, it’s not what y’all think!”
“She tried to kiss me!” As soon as she said it, she was bombarded by insults, but there were a few clear ones that stood out to her.
“Ewwww! I can’t believe I used to hang out with something like you! You’re not even a pony!”
Scootaloo
“Disgraceful! Ah can’t believe that my own sister is one of them gays!”
Applejack
“Nopony’s ever going to hang out with you again! Not even your lame blank flank friends!”
Diamond Tiara
She couldn’t take it anymore, seeing her friends, family, and everypony she knew yelling and insulting her like that. She started to sob and curl up into a small yellow ball, still able to hear the words that were being thrown at her at full force. She knew she was being stupid. She knew they were right. “Nopony ever would hang out with me again. Ah am one of them gays.”
“Maybe I’m not even a pony at all.”
Suddenly there was silence, and for a moment she continued to lie there, crying into her yellow coat. Then she looked up, and saw that the forest atmosphere was still no longer there. It was replaced by a calm grassland, with no trees for miles, and a quiet starry sky above. The taunting ponies were no longer there, but she soon discovered that she was not completely alone. Standing in front of her was a tall dark blue pony, an alicorn, with a long wavy blue mane, and cyan eyes that were staring down at Apple Bloom with great concern.
“P-Princess Luna?” Apple Bloom’s shaky question was little more than a whisper, but the Princess of the Night still heard her.
Princess Luna asked, “What is the matter?”
Apple Bloom instead looked down and curled back up into her self made ball, hoping to somehow disappear from the Princess’ presence. Instead Luna laid down next to her and asked, “Are you afraid of something in your dreams? I came when I saw you were distressed, so I brought you to this quieter dream.” She looked to Apple Bloom. “Please tell me what’s wrong. Maybe I can help.”
Apple Bloom instead got up slowly, not daring to look into Luna’s eyes, turned around, and ran as fast as she could away, tears still streaming down her face. She could hear Luna yelling after her, but she didn’t care. She just kept running through the grass fields, not caring where she was going, and not being able to see because her eyes were covered by tears. Before she knew it she tripped on a rock and was flying through the air, her forehoof giving a jolt of pain as she prepared for the impact of the ground…
That’s when she opened her eyes with a jolt, waking up from what was one of the worst dreams she had ever had in her whole life. Looking at her clock she saw it was 7:30, and it was time for her to get up and get ready for school, although she really didn’t want to go. As she got out of bed she quickly realized she had been crying, and she dashed out of her door and into the bathroom to try to clean herself as much as possible.
As she began to scrub her face with a rag and water, she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, and she recoiled in disgust. She saw a broken filly, a mistake, that no one would ever love if they ever found out what she was, and she had only one question for herself.
Applejack shouted up the stairs before turning around and starting to eat her own breakfast. Pancakes with butter tons and tons of syrup and an apple on the side. Across from her sat her brother Big Macintosh with the same breakfast, only with more pancakes. He had gotten up a few hours earlier to go and take care of some jobs on the farm, so he looked wide awake.
“Ah told you that you should stop working so hard, big brother,” Applejack said. But all Big Mac did was smirk and roll his eyes before continuing to eat.
Applejack shook her head before turning around at the sound of hoof steps creaking down the stairs. A few seconds later her younger sister appeared in the doorway, and she walked over to the table and started eating. “Morning Apple Bloom,” Applejack said happily, “Ready for school today?”
“Yep,” Apple Bloom said, trying to avoid eye contact with her older siblings. She was still thinking about the dream she had last night. All the voices. All the insults. All the-
“Well that’s great!” Applejack’s voice interrupted her thoughts. “Why Ah remember when I used to go to that there school. It was fun, but Ah always hated to get outta bed after the long weekend as a filly. Why Ah remember one Monday in particular when Granny Smith had to…”
Apple Bloom lost her concentration, as the lack of sleep seemed to set in as she slipped back into her thoughts again, thinking about her dream more. She knew that it was technically alright for a mare to like another mare, but that didn’t stop ponies from hating the ponies that did. The Apples were a caring family, but they were also very strict and very conservative, and Apple Bloom wasn’t sure what they would think about her not liking colts. On the one hand they had accepted something like Big Mac’s thing for carrying Smarty Pants doll around. On the other hand they were kind of that family that would have to get any fillyfriend or coltfriend approved by the entire family before they would date them.
Then there were her classmates. She always heard a lot of them joking about fillyfoolers and coltcuddlers, but they all assumed everypony there was straight, and as far as she knew, she was the only one. Like her family, she wasn’t sure how her friends would react, because at best they would accept her and she would have a chance with her crush. At worst, well, she saw it last night, until…
She froze in her seat and almost dropped her fork, but Applejack barely seemed to notice, as she was still droning on chuckling a few times. She had just had a really bad thought. “What if Princess Luna saw?”
She knew it was almost impossible for the Princess to hate her for it, seeing as how she supported all kinds of relationships, even more than her sister perhaps, but she didn’t want anyone to know. Not her family, not her friends, and not Princess Luna. Apple Bloom didn’t know if she had seen her dream, and when she started running from her she might have put two and two together and realized that she was a fillyfooler.
Apple Bloom tried to shake of the thought and looked back to Applejack, who at this point had tears welling up in her eyes, and pretended to be listening to her story more intently. She even nodded to show her fake encouragement and amusement at her story a few times. However, her concentration was broken by a pair of big green eyes staring at her from the other side of the table.
She looked and made eye contact with her big brother, who seemed to be observing her suspiciously. Apple Bloom turned her head away a little too fast as Big Mac’s gaze continued to be on her for the few minutes that remained of breakfast. “What if he saw my eyes,” she wondered, “they were still a little red when I was in the bathroom. For a pony who never shows any, he sure knows how to read emotions.”
“...and that’s why Granny will never make me oatmeal again.”
Applejack’s story finally concluded and she had one last before she looked up at the clock. “Well Apple Bloom, time for you to go to school!”
Apple Bloom quickly got up ignoring the stare Big Mac was giving her, grabbed her book bag off the floor, and ran out the door. Applejack then stepped into the door frame, shouting behind her sister, “Have a good day, little sis!” She laughed while going inside, only to stop when she noticed Big Mac staring out the window after their sister. “Hey Big Mac? You okay?”
“Eeyup.” He said, although his expression hadn’t changed and his eyes never left the window.
Apple Bloom rushed up to school and into the classroom, where she was greeted by her teacher, Miss Cheerilee.
“Hello, Apple Bloom! Are you ready to learn about the Horse Wars today?”
Apple Bloom was thrown off by the positivity in her voice. “Seems like that’s been happening a lot recently, though,” she thought before responding, “Yeah!”
She tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible, but it seemed like Cheerilee had bought it, because she nodded and turned around to do whatever it is teachers do at desks.
“Hey Apple Bloom! Over here!”
She froze. She knew that squeaky voice from anywhere. It was the same voice that belonged to the filly she had nearly kissed last night. She turned towards the voice and saw her two best friends in the world, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, pointing to the desk in between them. Her eyes, instead, focused on Sweetie Belle, the pony of her dreams. “That’s all it will ever be,” the voice in the back of her head thought, “a dream.”
“Uh, Equestria to Apple Bloom!”
She shook her head and noticed the orange hoof that had been waving in front of her eyes for a few seconds. Scootaloo looked at her with confusion. “What gives Apple Bloom? You were frozen for a few seconds.”
Apple Bloom felt her face heat up as she looked to Sweetie Belle, who was still sitting at her desk but had a look of concern on her face.
“I was just...uh...remembering the story my sister Applejack told me this morning…” It was a pretty lame excuse, but at the moment it was the only thing she could think of.
Scootaloo then raised an eyebrow, seeming unconvinced before shrugging and going back to her desk. Apple Bloom thanked Celestia on the inside that Scootaloo hadn’t pressed further, and followed her and took her seat, just as the bell rang.
“Okay class,” Cheerilee called, “please find your seats and we’ll start today’s history lesson.”
Apple Bloom got out her textbook and turned to page 394 where they left off. The rest of the class was kind of a blur to her. Diamond Tiara was late as usual. Miss Cheerilee was giving her fun little lecture as usual. She stood her book up on her desk and pretended like she was buried in reading about the Siege of Manehatten.
She stared at the white unicorn sitting to the left of her, and she felt like she was being hypnotized by her beauty. To Apple Bloom she was like the Mona Lisa at the Louvre. She could be surrounded by so many other paintings, and yet her beauty would stand out from all the rest. Apple Bloom loved her beautiful lilac mane, her sparkly eyes, and pure white coat.
Apple Bloom felt like she could stare at her for hours, and she felt her face continue to heat up the more she thought about how great it would be if Sweetie Belle liked her back. They could go on picnic dates, kiss, cuddle-”
“Apple Bloom?”
Apple Bloom suddenly looked up past the book that was covering her face and saw the entire class and Miss Cheerilee staring at her. It made her really uncomfortable being stared at in general, but after her daydreams it made it even worse. She knew that it was impossible for any of them to know what she was thinking about, but the looking eyes still felt like they cut through her soul and could read what she was feeling almost.
She finally acknowledged the call for her attention from a few seconds later, and turned to Miss Cheerilee, who was looking at her with an expecting expression with a touch of worry. She waited for about ten seconds before asking, “Do you know what year the Siege of Manehatten ended?”
The tone in her voice made Apple Bloom realize that she had already asked her the question and made her embarrassed once again, if that was even possible. She lowered her head so that her muzzle would be covered by the book and that only her eyes would be showing. Fortunately her book just so happened to be opened to the exact topic they were discussing, so it only took her a small glance to the page to answer the question.
“Uh,” she stammered, “t-the Siege ended in 1546 when the c-captain of the Wonderbolts surrendered the c-city to save his people.”
“Well done, Apple Bloom!” Cheerilee smiled and as she started turned back to the board to continue the lesson, Apple Bloom nearly passed out.
Her eyes had turned blood red, just like in the dream. She shivered for a second before turning back and hiding her face back in the book. The thoughts came back, and it made her even more worried. The logical part of her mind knew that what she saw wasn’t real, and that there was no way that her teacher would ever be that cruel.
But the other part of her mind was telling her that it was real.
“Apple Bloom? You okay?” She turned to the right and realized that it was Scootaloo that had asked her the question. She looked at Apple Bloom with a rare worried expression and awaiting a response. Apple Bloom looked at her and said, “Ah’m fine. Just a bit tired, you know.” She mustered up a big smile to hopefully trick the pegasus twice.
Unfortunately for her Scootaloo didn’t look convinced. “Are you sure you’re feeling alright. You look a little sick.”
“I sure feel sick,” Apple Bloom thought. “Nope, Ah’m good!”
“Well, if you're sure…”
Scootaloo finally turned back with one last unconvinced look when…
It happened again. Her eyes turned red just before she turned back to the front of the room.
Apple Bloom rubbed her eyes and shook her head lightly. “It’s not real! It’s not real! It’s not real!”
“...but it could be.”
After that last thought Apple Bloom couldn’t stand to look at anypony anymore out of shame. She didn’t want anypony to see her broken down, and she had to try her best to hide her feelings if she had any hope of keeping her secret.
The rest of the class Apple Bloom spent in her thoughts, only snapping out slid it a few times when Scootaloo or Sweetie Belle gave her a sideways glance. When that happened she would pretend to be checking something from her book and look up at Cheerilee again to make sure that they wouldn’t worry.
Eventually the bell rang, signaling for a lunch break. “Alright class,” Miss Cheerilee announced, “time for lunch. See everypony again in a half an hour.” Apple Bloom grabbed her lunch as quickly as possible and almost bolted for the door, but before she could break free of her imaginary chains and be free, a voice pulled her back and she froze.
“Apple Bloom? Could I please see you for a minute?”
Apple Bloom froze when Miss Cheerilee asked her the question. She didn’t sound all that stern, so maybe it wasn’t anything that she did, but it still could be something bad that she did.
The rest of the students had all filed through the doorway and out of the classroom, with Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle shooting a look at her as they walked out last. Cheerilee waited until Apple Bloom’s two favorite friends had walked through the door before turning to the little earth pony.
“There’s nothing to be afraid of, Apple Bloom, I just wanted to ask you a question.”
Apple Bloom inwardly felt relieved. She had been on edge all day, thinking about the nightmare she had had the night before, but she still felt curious as to what her teacher could possibly ask her about.
“Is this about that stupid drawing Scootaloo made again?” A few weeks back her pegasus friend had decided it would be a good idea to draw a picture of her idol, Rainbow Dash, on Apple Bloom’s desk. The next day she came to school and was pulled aside to receive a lecture from Cheerilee about respecting property and the consequences of doing the opposite. Not even having seen the drawing, Apple Bloom was naturally very confused, and tried telling Cheerilee that she had nothing to do with it. It wasn’t until the next day that Scootaloo came forward, with pressure from Apple Bloom, and accepted her punishment. Ever since then she had been wiping down the desks every day after school, and Cheerilee had been apologizing to Apple Bloom for her false accusation.
“It’s just that I had noticed that you haven’t picked a deadline for the big essay that’s due in a month,” her teacher continued, “and I just wanted to touch base to see if you had any ideas.”
“Of course!” Apple Bloom remembered, “the project!” She had had so much on her mind recently that she had completely forgotten about it. The students could pick and research a topic of their choice, and would write a six page essay about it using at least three resources. Added on to that, they would have to present it to the class. Altogether it was worth forty percent of their grades.
“Well, Ah haven’t really thought of anything yet,” Apple Bloom said shyly, with a hoof digging at the wooden floor, “Ah have a couple of ideas, but Ah haven’t narrowed it down.”
“Well, try to come up with a good topic by the end of the week. If you can do that, you’ll be in really good shape.”
Apple Bloom gave her teacher a small smile. “Ah will, thanks Miss Cheerilee!”
“No problem! Have a good lunch!”
Cheerilee then started to write something down at her desk as Apple Bloom left the room, carrying her bag lunch. When she got outside she saw her fellow Crusader friends sitting on the bench right next to the playground. When they saw her they waved her over and scooted over on the bench to make room for her. Apple Bloom saw them and sat down next to them, and the three of them started talking about ways to get their cutie marks.
It wasn’t long until Apple Bloom found that she had started to be distracted by something. Or somepony. Apple Bloom cursed her wandering eyes, but she couldn’t help it. Sweetie Belle was such an amazing filly, and Apple Bloom loved everything about her. Looks, personality, all of it!
“Too bad she’d never feel the same way back.”
Apple Bloom knew that the white unicorn filly wasn’t interested in other fillies. Rumor had it that she was interested in Spike, Twilight’s purple dragon assistant. Although she denied it, most ponies thought it was true, including Apple Bloom.
“It’s perfectly ok for a pony to date a dragon, another species, but not for a pony to date a pony of the same gender!”
“What do you think, Apple Bloom?”
Apple Bloom was once again dragged out of her thoughts by an outside voice, this one belonging to the orange pegasus sitting next to her. Scootaloo sat expectantly, waiting for an answer, while Sweetie Belle had a similar expression of anticipation and excitement. “Gosh dang it, why do you have to be so cute?”
“Uh, sorry, what were we talking about now?”
Scootaloo turned to exchange a confused glance with Sweetie Belle before turning back to face the youngest Apple. “Uh, what do you think about our plan to get our cutie marks in tennis?”
“Oh, uh, well Ah think it’s a good idea!”
Apple Bloom smiled wide at the end, hoping that her friends would once again move on from the subject, and not question her not paying attention to the conversation.
This time, however, she wasn’t so lucky.
“Are you ok, Apple Bloom,” Sweetie Belle said, “you sure seem to be a lot quieter than usual today, and you keep zoning out.”
“No, Ah’m alright Sweetie Belle,” she answered quickly, continuing to give her the sorriest excuse for a smile anypony will ever see, except for the ones Applejack gave Pinkie Pie at that surprise party.
Obviously Sweetie Belle has noticed the fast response and the nervous smiling, because she soon got up and walked over to Apple Bloom.
Apple Bloom cringed as she soon saw her crush just inches away from her face, looking very concerned, before she lifted her forehoof and moved it onto her forehead.
Everything was in slow motion. She could feel her face heating up, breathing accelerate, and sweat starting to come from her face. “She’s touching me! She’s touching me!”
“Maybe you should go home, Apple Bloom, I think you might be sick.”
“I sure feel like Ah’m sick. Is this what being lovesick feels like?”
“Yeah,” Scootaloo agreed, “you’re all red and quiet, and you haven’t touched your lunch.”
Apple Bloom looked down and took notice of the brown bag that contained her lunch. She didn’t even know what she had in there, let alone had she opened it up and ate it. She looked back at her two friends before attempting to stand up off the bench.
A sudden flash of dizziness set in as she stood up, and she found herself staring at the ground in an attempt to stop herself from seeing the spinning world around her.
“Woah, Apple Bloom.”
She suddenly felt two steadying hooves on her as she was slowly guided back to the bench. Her vision had turned foggy, and the world was still spinning.
“Scootaloo, go get Miss Cheerilee. Hurry! Don’t worry, Apple Bloom, you’ll be okay.”
The rest of it was a bit of a blur. Scootaloo had come back a moment later with Cheerilee, who took one look at her and decided that she should go home. Big Mac had shown up and she was put on his back, about to be carried back to the farm.
“Ah don’t even know if Ah’m normal sick or love sick.”
Back at Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack was enjoying some lunch while talking to Granny Smith.
“Ah told you once already, Granny, we can’t harvest the west field until tomorrow. There just won’t be any time.”
“Fiddlesticks! You just need to move your caboose and finish the south field in an hour!”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “But we won’t be able to finish it in an hour! Big Macintosh and Ah are plum tuckered out as it is. We won’t be able to get to the west field.”
Applejack then looked at the plate that had been set out in front of the seat next to her, then scanned the surroundings. “Hey, where is that brother of mine? He ran off about ten minutes ago and hasn’t come back yet.”
“Ah’m sure he’ll be along, young’in” Granny Smith said, “now, about the south field…”
Before the elderly mare could continue, the sound of the front door of the farmhouse opening could be heard. Applejack then started to walk toward the sound. “There you are, big brother, where’d you run off to in such a…”
Before she could finish, she caught sight of her younger sister, looking absolutely miserable hunched over on Big Mac’s back.
“What in tarnation happened to mah little sister?”
Apple Bloom winced from the back of her big brother at the loud voice coming from her big sister. She still felt dizzy and wasn’t feeling well at all. She wondered if she was actually sick now, because she sure felt like throwing up now.
“What’s all the yelling about in there?” The craggy old voice came from the dining room.
“Miss Cheerilee came by and asked me to follow her to the school,” Big Macintosh explained, “and when Ah got there Apple Bloom was sitting on a bench looking dizzy as a loon.”
Applejack stepped closer to examine her sister. “What do you mean by that? Is she sick or something?”
“Eeyup.”
“Here let me take a look at her,” Granny Smith said, walking into the room and going over to stand next to the big red stallion. She then put a green hoof onto her youngest grandchild’s forehead, and about a second later, she exclaimed with a smile, “fine as a fiddle!”
“Uh, beg your pardon, Granny,” Applejack said with disbelief in her voice, “but you said that when Ah had the pony pox, and when Big Mac had coronavirus.”
“Eeyup,” Big Mac said, shivering as he remembered how awful that year was, and how bad the tests on him were.
“Ah thought Ah told you not to question your elder ponies, Applejack.”
“Just look at her! She looks sicker than a dog.”
“Ah told you, Applejack, Ah know when a filly is sick, and she seems perfectly fine to me. Now if you’ll excuse me, Ah have to go take mah afternoon nap.”
She slowly made her way to the chair in the living room, sat on it, and fell asleep almost immediately.
Applejack rolled her eyes before turning back to Big Mac. “You’d better carry her on upstairs to her bed.”
“Eeyup,” Big Mac responded, carefully walking towards and then ascending the stairs that led to everypony’s bedrooms. He tried to be as delicate and calm as possible with the exhausted filly on her back, but it wasn’t that easy for a stallion his size and might.
When he saw Apple Bloom’s room he gently nudged the door open with his nose, gingerly tiptoed into the room, and slowly lowered the yellow filly onto her bed. He used his teeth to wrap her in her blanket like she used to as a filly, and turned away to trot towards the door, letting Apple Bloom have some peace and quiet to rest.
——————————————————
Apple Bloom regained complete consciousness about an hour later, and was surprised to find herself surrounded by pure comfort.
When she started to stare around the space she realized that she was in her comfy bed in her room. Looking around her eyes fell on her window, and looking out she figured that it was the afternoon, so she couldn’t have been out for very long. Her brain was feeling a little fuzzy and she felt very confused, and it wasn’t until she attempted to sit up that everything came flowing back to her.
“Uh oh.”
The events of everything that happened earlier that day made Apple Bloom want to curl up into a ball and disappear forever. It was bad enough that she had made a fool of herself and nearly passed out in front of her family and teacher, But Sweetie Belle? And right after she touched her hoof to Apple Bloom’s forehead?
Apple Bloom groaned as she pulled her covers over her head, trying to hide from the light of the sun through the window and everypony outside of it. She wanted to stay there forever, or as long as she could. There was something about the warm embrace of a blanket that made it seem like all of her problems could melt away in a heartbeat, that it seemed like there were no problems, that it seemed like there never will be any problems ever.
She almost forgot about the day she had, about the embarrassment, about the touch, even about the dream.
And she probably would have if she didn’t hear her overprotective sister coming up the stairs a few minutes later.
She jumped at the sound of her door opening, still under the comfy blanket, and sat as still as possible to give the impression that she was asleep. She listened very carefully, hoping that Applejack would just leave her be.
Just like a lot of prayers she had that day, though, it went unanswered.
“You doing alright, Apple Bloom?”
“Figures,” she thought as she peaked over her covers to see Applejack with a calm smile on her face watching her through the doorway of her room. She waited a few seconds before trotting over to the side of her bed and sitting down next to her. “How you feeling, sugarcube?”
“Fine,” Apple Bloom said with a soft voice, trying to avoid direct eye contact. In truth she still felt a little lightheaded and tired, but at the moment she felt like she really didn’t want to talk to her big sister. She wanted to be alone to think, sleep, or just to appreciate any given silence.
In a house with Applejack and Granny Smith, there are often long, winding discussions about something random. Even Apple Bloom was guilty of this sometimes. So when silence came to her, she made the most of it. “Maybe that’s why Big Mac stays so quiet.”
“Ah heard you didn’t do so well at school today,” Applejack said, interrupting the silence, “Big Mac came to get you but didn’t really get any answers.”
“Oh.” That was really all she could say at the moment, wanting to see where the conversation was going without giving away too much.
“Well?”
Apple Bloom turned her whole body so that she was completely faced away from Applejack. “Ah just started feeling really crummy.” She didn’t like to lie, so she told as little as possible to avoid doing so. She may not have been as bad as her sister, but she wasn’t the best liar in the world either.
Applejack nodded her head. “Ah’d say so! When Ah felt your forehead you were hotter than Granny’s tomato soup.” She chuckled, trying to brighten the mood a little bit.
Apple Bloom didn’t react or say anything, causing her sister’s smile to fade away into a sigh. “Apple Bloom, are you sure you’re alright?”
“I’m fine,” she said, still turned away from her sister.
“It’s just that, well, lately you seemed to be a little down, not just today. You’ve been more and more quiet, and Ah...Ah just want to make sure that you’re holding up.”
Apple Bloom wanted to tell her sister so much at this point. About her feelings, about her crush, about her sadness, about everything.
“Ah can’t,” she thought, “Ah just can’t. Ah’m sorry Applejack.”
“Ah’m fine, big sis,” she said, turning over in her covers to flash a smile, “Ah just feel a little tired right now.”
She tried to sound as convincing as possible, trying to stop her sister from asking any more questions. Luckily, Applejack smiled, got off the bed, and said in a soft voice, “Alright, sugarcube, you’d better get some rest then. Ah’ll check in on you in a little bit.”
She began to walk slowly toward the door and walk through it, closing it very slowly.
As soon as she heard her sister’s hooves descending the stairs again, she scooted over to her bed, and reached into the side table drawer, taking out her black pen, and her green journal. Inside of it contained her thoughts from the previous night, and now she would begin to write her thoughts from today. She loved the feeling of writing in it, because it felt like she was taking her problems and putting them somewhere else.
Apple Bloom sighed as she opened up the cover, took the pen in her mouth, and started to jot down whatever came to mind.
——————————————————
Back at the schoolhouse, all of the little fillies and colts had started to walk out the door. It was the end of the day, and the afternoon bell was ringing, signaling to parents throughout Ponyville the end of the school day, and the return of their children. Miss Cheerilee was standing at her desk, reminding everypony about the homework that would need to be completed later that day.
Sweetie Belle was packing up her things alongside Scootaloo, putting everything she would need to complete the assignment in her ivory saddlebag. She carefully organized all of the books and writing utensils she had in it so that nothing would be lost, and made towards the door.
“Sweetie Belle?” Cheerilee asked, getting the unicorn’s attention. The teacher picked up a yellow folder with a pink post-it note on the front and held it out in front of her. “Could you please do me a favor and bring this folder to Apple Bloom? It’s got the homework for tonight and instructions.”
“Sure thing, Miss Cheerilee,” Sweetie Belle smiled, using her horn to move the folder from the desk to her bag carefully. She was still new to controlling her magic, but she was getting better. She turned around and walked to the exit, where she saw Scootaloo waiting outside to walk with her.
“Tell her to get well soon,” Cheerilee shouted from behind with a smile.
“I will!”
And with that, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo started to walk to Sweet Apple Acres to see their sick fellow crusader.
I have never been more confused, embarrassed, or creeped out as I am right now. I could barely pay attention in class because I was thinking about the dream I had last night. On top of that, now Scootaloo thinks that something’s the matter with me. Actually I think everypony thinks something’s the matter with me. Cheerilee, Big Mac, Applejack, and worst of all Sweetie Belle. I got distracted so much and it made my two friends think I was sick. I definitely didn’t feel sick until her hoof touched my forehead, and then I don’t know what happened. Everything got real fuzzy. I know that it doesn’t make much sense. All I know is that if one little touch like that makes me react like that, I don’t know what’s going on with me. Do I like her that much? Is it the knowledge that what I’m doing is wrong? I don’t know. I really don’t know about a lot of stuff right now, and it’s not getting any easier. It’s only a matter of time before everypony finds the truth, and I think now only time will tell what happens next.
Apple Bloom sighed as she put down the pen on her bed next to her. “Why can’t Ah ever end one of these entries on a positive note?” she asked herself quietly. She turned to the window to see that the sun was still shining bright as ever outside, with the golden hue of its light radiating off of the apple trees outside of the farmhouse. She sat up in her bed and took in the view, It was a beautiful sight indeed, one that she had cherished throughout her life on the farm.
It almost made her want to get a cutie mark in painting just so she could put the glorious sight on a canvas. Or maybe a photography one, where she could go all over Equestria, taking in the most breathtaking views imaginable, none of which could beat that one in her eyes, of course.
She fell back on her bed and let out a sigh, a sudden calm rushing over her, as the view seemed to take all of her troubles away for just that short amount of time. It was like the blanket, a simple pleasure that could erase any insecurity that a pony might have. It was just using a different sense, sight instead of touch, but it was as powerful enough to captivate the rest of her senses. Beyond that it was hard to explain why she found these different things so enduring, but philosophy wasn’t a cutie mark she was aiming for.
All of that thinking had made the filly really tired, and she began to drift back to sleep until the sound of hoofsteps coming up the wooden stairs. She sat up straight and eyed the open yellow book still lying next to her opened. She quickly hid it under her pillow along with the pencil, laid down under her blanket, and turned away from the door, listening to the approaching hooves.
As she listened closer, however, she realized that it wasn’t just one set of them, and it seemed like there was a size difference between all of them.
She then heard the door open and saw the light beam of the side of her wall from the hallway. Then she heard a whispering voice speak up.
“Apple Bloom? You awake, sugarcube?”
It was Applejack again. She probably should’ve known because Granny Smith barely comes upstairs anymore and Big Mac was still working for a little longer.
She turned toward her sister only to freeze when she saw the two fillies standing next to her.
“Hey Apple Bloom! Are you feeling better?” Scootaloo asked. Sweetie Belle was at the pegasus’ side with a sympathetic look on her face. One that mirrored the one Applejack had on.
“Ah hope you don’t mind me bringing your little Crusader friends up to your room unannounced like this,” Applejack started,”but they were so excited that Ah thought they might bowl me over if they tried!”
“It’s true!”
Everypony shared a laugh at Scootaloo's comment, and Sweetie Belle held up a yellow folder with her magic. “Miss Cheerilee asked me to give you your homework,” Sweetie Belle said, “it’s supposed to be really easy, so you don’t have to worry about missing the second half of the day!”
Apple Bloom smiled as she took the folder in her hooves and placed it on top of her side table. “Thanks Sweetie Belle! I’ll work on it later.”
“Well, Ah’ll leave you girls be,” Applejack said, “don’t stay too long girls.”
“We won’t, Applejack,” Scootaloo said as Applejack turned around and went out into the hallway, shutting the door behind her. Now that they were alone, the two crusaders jumped on the bed next to Apple Bloom, still under her covers.
“Alright, Crusaders,” Scootaloo said determined, “so since we can’t really do anything today, I was thinking that tomorrow we could-”
“Scootaloo!” Sweetie Belle interrupted with a disapproving scowl, “How can you possibly be thinking about that when Apple Bloom is sick!”
Scootaloo turned to the filly that was still wrapped up in covers before sheepishly giggling. “Oh, right. Sorry Apple Bloom.”
“It’s alright, Scootaloo,” Apple Bloom exclaimed, “Ah don’t mind, really. Ah want to find out what we’re doing tomorrow.”
Scootaloo nodded and then turned so that she would be facing the other two crusaders. “Alright, so I thought we could try to knock the baseball cutie mark out of the park. The Fillies are playing tomorrow and we could definitely try to watch them and play the way they do.”
Sweetie Belle put a hoof to her chin in thought. “Well, I’m not really a big fan, but I always thought I’d look good in red!”
“You’d look good in any color,” Apple Bloom thought and listened in to the conversation. Every once and awhile she would throw out a “Yeah,” or a “Good idea,” but she left the ideas and debates to Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, who were mostly going back and forth about the baseball idea, but would occasionally chime in with something else. Toward the end it was just throwing out ideas, as they figured out that none of them had gloves and only Apple Bloom had a bat.
“We could always try to be lawyers,” Scootaloo said.
“But I’m not good at arguing,” Sweetie Belle replied, “How about sculpture?”
“Are you kidding? I don’t know how to do art.”
“Well there’s no time like the present to learn. What do you girls think?”
“Ah think that’s a great idea,” Apple Bloom chimed in, “we could always ask Twilight to help us find a good book on it.”
“I’m still not sure. I’m not even sure Rarity would want me doing something so barbaric,” Sweetie Belle said, mimicking her older sister.
“Just remind your sister how good it would look at the end,” Scootaloo said.
Apple Bloom imagined her statue as ending up being very beautiful, something like what would be in the art museums one day, and that made her very excited.
“Ah say we do it!”
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle jumped at the sudden energy and enthusiasm being displayed by their sick friend. Apple Bloom looked back at them with an embarrassed smile. “What? Ah think it’s a darn good idea!”
“Come on, Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo pleaded, pointing a hoof at Apple Bloom, “You don’t want to disappoint this poor filly, now do you?”
Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes at Scootaloo’s smirk and sighed. “Fine.”
Scootaloo smiled and jumped off the bed. “Alright, then it’s settled. We’ll meet after school and get started at our clubhouse.”
“Are you leaving already?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Yeah, I should probably get going. See you gals tomorrow! Feel better soon Apple Bloom.”
And with that Scootaloo ran out the bedroom door and descended the stairs, leaving Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle in the bedroom alone. Apple Bloom blushed at the thought, and looked to her crush who appeared to be eying something behind her.
“What’s wrong?” Apple Bloom asked.
“What’s that?” Sweetie Belle replied, pointing a hoof behind the earth pony. Apple Bloom turned and looked to see a yellow corner of her diary peaking its way outside of the pillow.
Apple Bloom quickly slid it back under her pillow and turned back to Sweetie Belle, trying not to seem too suspicious. “Nothing.”
Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow and tried to peer past the edge of the pillow. Then she looked up at her friend again with questioning eyes. “Is it something important?” Before Apple Bloom could respond, Sweetie Belle gasped and she could see the unicorn’s face lighting up and her hooves go to her cheeks in excitement. If Apple Bloom’s face hadn’t already turned red at the extremely cute sight, then the next comment her friend made certainly did.
“Is that your diary! Oh my gosh, my sister has one of those!”
“What? No! Ah don’t have a diary, Sweetie Belle. That’s just, uh, a book Ah’m reading! Yeah…”
Sweetie Belle’s look of excitement was replaced by a look of disbelief. “Really? Then let’s see it.”
Apple Bloom, meanwhile, was hearing alarm bells going off inside her head, trying to think of a decent response, but all she could muster up was, “No.”
Sweetie Belle’s expression switched back and she squealed, “It is a diary! What do you write about in there?”
Deciding that she was defeated, Apple Bloom decided to go along with it and hope that she wouldn’t ask too much about it.
“Nothing much.”
Sweetie Belle started giggling and throwing out guesses.
“Do you write about your hopes? Your deepest, darkest fears? Is it about your family, or friends? Do you secretly watch Family Guy, because that sure seems embarrassing. Does it have anything to do with not getting your cutie mark? Do you like somepony?”
Sweetie Belle fell over in a fit of giggles as she tried to think of what could be in the diary. When she got up and wiped a tear out of her eyes she turned to Apple Bloom and noticed the stunned expression.on her face. It was almost as if she was looking off into space.
After waving her hoof in front of the frozen filly in front of her and getting no reaction, she realized that she had hit the bullseye. she jumped up and down on the bed, saying, “You like somepony! You really really like somepony! Who is it? Do I know him? Is he one of our classmates? Does Scootaloo know? Does anypony know? Do…” Sweetie Belle stopped as she finally noticed her friend, who had buried herself into her covers and was visibly shaking. “Apple Bloom?”
All she got in response was a few sniffs and a whimpering noise which threw Sweetie Belle off. Although Scootaloo disputes the fact, Apple Bloom has always been the bravest pony in the group. She was the one who was willing to stand up to Diamond Tiara, take on whatever challenge she wanted to get her cutie mark, and even helped everypony to get over their fear of Zecora. Seeing her hiding under her covers like this was very strange for Apple Bloom.
Sweetie Belle moved slowly over so that she was right next to the shivering little ball on the bed and gave her a comforting nudge with her hoof. Apple Bloom seemed to calm down a little bit, enough to peak through them and look at Sweetie Belle for a second before darting her eyes down to look at the white mattress cover below her.
“Apple Bloom,” Sweetie Belle whispered, “If this is about your crush, you don’t have to be afraid. Lots of fillies have them, and I bet the colt you like is-”
She was interrupted by a mumble from her friend. “What?” she asked, fully ready to listen to what the scared filly was trying to say.
Apple Bloom was close to tears at this point, and it looked like she was trying to shrink further and further away. “Apple Bloom,” Sweetie Belle said with a reassuring smile, “you can tell me anything.” Then the pony next to her whispered in the softest voice imaginable.
“You wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore if Ah told you.”
Sweetie Belle’s eyes widened at what her friend had just said. Why would she say that? What could she possibly say that would make her not want to be friends with Apple Bloom anymore? Sweetie Belle put a hoof under the teary-eyed yellow earth pony’s chin and carefully moved her head up so that they were staring into each other’s eyes.
“Apple Bloom,” Sweetie Belle in a calm and serious voice, “whatever you have to say won’t change our friendship in the slightest. You're a strong pony who can get through anything, just like your brother and sister. You’ll always be my best friend with Scootaloo, and we most certainly won’t desert you. Ever! So, please, just tell me. I promise you I won’t hate you for whatever it is.”
Apple Bloom stared at the shining eyes, staring at her and begging her for a chance to show her that it wasn’t so bad. She felt that if she simply said the three words, it wouldn’t be so bad. Like ripping off a band-aid almost, but a lot harder. Could she actually tell Sweetie Belle the truth? Could she form the words in her mouth? Could she really-
“Ah’m a fillyfooler.”
As soon as the words came out, Apple Bloom regretted it. Although she had wanted to say something more, now there was no way she could reveal any more of her true feelings. She cursed herself inside for not telling Sweetie Belle she liked her, because that would have said both things plain and easy. But instead she got cold hooves and stopped halfway.
Sweetie Belle looked at Apple Bloom in confusion, her mouth in a small frown and head turned slightly. “A fillyfooler?”
Apple Bloom nodded, still trembling with the reveal and fighting back any stray tears. “Ah hope you still want to be friends with me.”
Sweetie Belle just smiled and hugged her earth pony friend, happy to give her friend any kind of comfort she could offer. “Well, just because you’re...that, doesn’t mean I don’t want to be friends anymore. I mean, it’s not the end of the world, right?”
Apple Bloom looked up to Sweetie Belle and took notice of her facial expression. The unicorn had a smile on her face, and it looked like she had genuinely meant what she had said, but it didn’t make Apple Bloom feel any better.
“Why didn’t I just tell her! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!”
“Yeah,” Apple Bloom mumbled, “Ah guess.”
Sweetie Belle saw that Apple Bloom didn’t look convinced, so she gave her another hug before jumping off the bed. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Apple Bloom. Remember, nothing could stop us from being friends.” She smiled again which was returned from the smallest of smiles from the pony on the bed, and turned to the door before exiting.
As she started walking down the stairs she stopped and realized something.
“What is a fillyfooler?” her mind asked itself. “Maybe Rarity will know.”
And with that she quickly ran down the rest of the stairs, exited the house, and trotted home.
——————————————————
About five minutes went by before Sweetie Belle reached her destination, the Carousel Boutique, home to the bestest and latest fashion in Equestria, and to Sweetie Belle and her sister, Rarity, of course. As soon as she opened the door, the bell rang alerting Rarity, who came out looking ready to present herself to a customer. As soon as she saw her little sister, however, she dropped it, although her smile remained.
“Hello, Sweetie Belle! You’re home later than usual.”
Sweetie Belle smiled at her big sister. “Yeah, sorry about that. Apple Bloom got sick during school so Scootaloo and I went to visit her and give her our homework assignment.”
“Oh that poor darling,” Rarity said, her expression turning worried, “I bet Applejack was absolutely panicked!”
“Well she did seem a little on edge when we were there but that’s about it.”
Both sisters shared a laugh at the image of the overprotective Apple. Then Rarity cleared her throat and began to speak again.
“So other than that how was your day at school?”
“Pretty boring honestly. We learned about some pony war from a long time ago.”
“Well I hope you're hungry,” she exclaimed before trotting into the kitchen, “because I made your favorite, noodle soup!”
“Yeah, thanks Rarity,” Sweetie Belle exclaimed before remembering that she had something to ask her older sister. “Can I ask a quick question?”
“Of course, Sweetie, anything!”
“What’s a fillyfooler?”
A sudden crash radiated throughout the kitchen. Sweetie Belle looked over and quickly saw that her sister had dropped a plate onto the ground as soon as the question had finished leaving her mouth.
As she went over to help clean up, she realized that Rarity had not made a move to clean it up herself yet. Instead the fashionista stood frozen in her place, looking at her with a wide eyed expression. Silence lingered between the two of them for about thirty seconds, but it felt like a few centuries.
Sweetie Belle just stood there, very confused at her sister’s reaction, and waited for her sister to respond, move, or anything. “Was it that weird of a question? The last time something like this happened was when I asked where foals came from. All she said was-”
“Sweetie Belle, I do believe that is a question to answer when you are older.”
“-that.”
“What do you mean, Rarity?” she asked in an innocent voice. “I just want to know what it means.”
“Darling,” Rarity started, and Sweetie Belle knew the tone. It was her way of making it seem like an issue was of little importance when in reality she just didn’t want to talk about it. “I do love you, and want to protect you, and I feel that explaining this to you would be too much for you right now, and a little uneasy for me, if I’m being perfectly honest.”
“What do you mean? What’s so bad about it?”
Rarity’s eyes darted around the room looking for a distraction or a way out of it somehow. After finding none she sighed and went back into the front room, and sat on her fainting couch. Sweetie Belle took the hint and followed her sister, sitting next to her on the comfy sofa, and tried to look into her eyes, although Rarity was avoiding her gaze.
“Is it that bad? I hope it’s not anything bad that’s happening to Apple Bloom,” Sweetie Belle thought, concerned about her friend. “If it is bad, then I guess it would explain her fear.”
Her thoughts were interrupted when the bigger unicorn took a deep breath in, and turned to her.
“Sweetie Belle,” Rarity started, “this is a difficult topic for anypony to discuss, and I am no different. I may say things that will surprise, or even shock you, so if you have any questions, I’ll try my very best to answer them darling.”
“Do you know how mares are usually attracted to stallions and vice versa?” Sweetie Belle nodded. “Well there are some in Equestria who feel that they’re attracted to the same gender as themselves, for instance a stallion liking another stallion.”
Sweetie Belle felt her jaw drop open. “That can happen?” she more exclaimed than asked.
“Yes, darling, and until very recently, those types of relationships were outlawed, even punishable a long time ago, but recently Celestia overturned the law, allowing these ponies to love who they like. However, there are still certain individuals in Equestria that don’t agree with their attractions, and think that it’s unnatural. They call these ponies certain names, some of which I won’t get into, but fillyfooler is one of those terms. It is used to describe a filly who is attracted to other fillies, but it is rather...derogatory. It is not a name that one should call anyone under any circumstances.”
Rarity took this time to observe her little sister’s reaction to the news. Sweetie Belle was staring at her in disbelief almost.
Sweetie Belle was in disbelief. “Ponies can love ponies of the same gender? There are ponies out there who are in relationships like that? APPLE BLOOM LOVES FILLIES?!”
This was a lot to take in for the filly, being the first time she had ever even heard of it being a possibility, let alone for a pony that was so close to her. She needed to talk to Apple Bloom, and fast.
“May I ask you a question, though?”
Rarity’s question snapped Sweetie Belle out of her confused status, who looked to her sister and nodded.
Sweetie Belle was frozen on the couch next to Rarity, trying to think of an answer to her question. She couldn’t reveal the real origin of the word in her mind, especially now that she knew what it meant. Apple Bloom would be mortified, embarrassed, and she would lose all trust and faith in her if she was to tell anypony about this.
She was essentially stuck between a rock and a hard place, and she was just searching for a way around it when an idea popped into her head. A diabolical one that Apple Bloom, and most certainly the earth pony’s older sister would absolutely abhor. Lie.
“A kid in my class called me it today,” Sweetie Belle explained, trying to sound as confident as possible, “I didn’t know what it meant so I asked you.”
Rarity gasped and put her hooves to her chin in horror. It wasn’t like when she passed out from pure shock, instead it was more of worry for her little sister. After a few seconds her expression changed to one of anger. “Who?”
Sweetie Belle flinched at the question, which sounded like a villain from a movie when her big sister asked it. She quickly ran through a list of fillies and colts into her class until she landed on one that seemed plausible. “It was Diamond Tiara.”
“Again?!” Rarity shrieked in disbelief, “This is at least the fourth time this year that filly has done something like this.” She sadly looked to her little sister and hugged her, tears almost welling up in her eyes as she did so, “Sweetie Belle, I’m so sorry she has done something like this to you! She had no right to call you such an offensive name, and I will see to it that this behavior of hers stops immediately!”
She then got off the couch and trotted over to her desk, activating her horn to levitate a piece of paper and a quill toward her. Sweetie Belle got up from the couch and followed her, and tried to get a glimpse of the note. Rarity noticed this and gave her a comforting smile.
“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about that mean old bully, darling. Rarity’s going to make sure something like this never happens to you again.”
“Oh, alright,” Sweetie Belle said softly. She wasn’t sure if it was out of fear or out of protection for her friend, but she didn’t reveal the truth.
Eventually Rarity finished her letter and began to walk outside, presumably to put the letter in the mailbox. Afterwards she came back inside and went into the kitchen.
“Now that that’s taken care of, would you please be a dear and help me set the table while I clean up this mess?” She pointed toward the green plate she dropped and went into a closet to get a broom and dustpan.
—————————————————-
Apple Bloom was once again in the dream realm, waiting for something to happen. After her friends had come and gone Applejack had come upstairs a few more times to check on her, and once to bring her dinner, before Apple Bloom turned in early for the night. She still felt drained and mentally exhausted from her day, and even from the night before.
Although the memory of the dream had subsided in her mind slightly, it was still playing in the back of her head, with the flowery scenery and the loving kiss being turned into a fiery scenery and scorn from her friends and loved ones.
There was also the Princess and the overarching concern that she had heard and seen everything. It was possible that she thought nothing about it, but it seemed like she could’ve put two and two together. After all, if anypony could find insecurity in somepony else, especially in the dream, it was the Princess of the Night.
All of these fears were balanced out with the utter exhaustion she felt from the events leading up to her now sitting in bed, presumably ill, and she had no problem falling asleep.
This time, however, there was nothing in her dream. No environment, nopony else, not even light. Nothing.
Not that Apple Bloom really minded. After the demonic dream from the night before, she couldn’t really complain, either, because that had been terrifying. This just felt like one of those dreams that you forget right when you wake up in the morning. She almost felt a certain calm, not really having anything to do, she just decided to sit down and enjoy the silence of the dream, breathing in and out.
It almost reminded her of the time Sweetie Belle had convinced the rest of the crusaders to try to get their cutie marks in meditation, which went about as good as you might expect. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom didn’t have the patience to sit around and do nothing, and Sweetie Belle barely did, so their attempts ended about five minutes in and they went on to try for the more exciting taekwondo cutie mark.
“Maybe this is what Ah had been missing this whole time. This headspace is a great way to clear mah thoughts and worries. Who knew all Ah needed was a nice, plan, quiet dream?”
“I did.”
Apple Bloom jumped at the sound of the voice and turned around to see where it had come from. She could’ve probably guessed without looking, so she wasn’t as surprised to see the same alicorn princess from a night ago as she was that she had somehow been able to read her thoughts.
“P-princess Luna,” Apple Bloom stuttered, “what are you doing back here?”
“I came to check on you again, young filly. It is uncommon for me to visit the same pony’s dreams two nights in a row, however it’s not unheard of,” Luna explained, walking closer to the filly.
“So why have you then?” Apple Bloom said as she started to shy away from the princess as she got closer, avoiding all eye contact.
Luna kept trotting forward until she closed the distance between the two before laying down next to the small filly, bringing herself to the other pony’s height to make her seem less scary. She had learned it as a technique when she was still learning the proper etiquette of being a modern princess.
“When I went into your dream last night, I saw how much it scared you, even after I took it away.”
Apple Bloom shifted nervously where she stood. “Y-you saw it?”
Luna nodded, but because Apple Bloom couldn’t see her, she received no response. “I feared that you may have the same nightmare twice in a row, as it happens with our fears sometimes, so I made your dream calm and tranquil for you.”
She looked down at the scared earth pony who was shivering in fear, still refusing to give any indication of understanding, so Luna continued.
“When you ran away from me, I feared that there was a fear connected to the dream, that it was paralleled with something that you must be having to face.”
Apple Bloom looked up at Luna for the first time since the alicorn had come into her dream. She finally spoke again, her voice in a squeaky whisper, “You know?”
“I suspected, Apple Bloom,” Luna explained, “and I can see that the secret is tearing you up inside.”
“It’s not fair, Princess Luna! Ah don’t want to feel this way!” Apple Bloom cried as her eyes started to fill with tears.
“It’s not a choice, it’s just how you were born-”
“But why did Ah have to be born like this?”
Luna’s eyes widened in surprise at the interruption from the filly, but before she could say anything, Apple Bloom continued speaking, tears stinging her eyes and now threatening to spill out, “Ah want to be normal like my friends and family! Ah want to like colts like mah sister Applejack, not fillies! Ah’ve known for a little while now and the feeling doesn’t get any better!”
Luna looked at the crumbling pony before her, pity painted across her face for Apple Bloom. The tears in the earth pony’s face had started to pour over, and her anxiety-filled rant was still going.
“What if mah family doesn’t like it, or mah friends! Ah already told Sweetie Belle, and Ah can tell she thinks it’s weird by the way she reacted! Mah own crush! She’ll never be able to look at me the same way again!”
Luna stood up and put a hoof on one of Apple Bloom’s shoulders. “Apple Bloom, not everypony is straight! There are other ponies out there who are attracted to the same gender like you, and-”
“Like me?” Apple Bloom said, feeling more angry than sad now, “Like me! If being a fillyfooler...a freak...is what being me is, then AH DON’T WANT TO BE ME ANYMORE!”
Apple Bloom finally just broke down. Right there in front of the Princess having finished her rant. She had meant what she said, or at least she thought she had, but in that moment she just needed to let it all out.
Princess Luna knew this, too, and she waited a few moments for Apple Bloom to compose herself. When the crying had finally stopped, Luna leaned in to give her a hug, although it was slightly awkward due to the size difference.
“You don’t mean that,” Luna reassured, “once you learn to accept the part of yourself that likes fillies, you’ll see that it’s not so bad.”
“B-but sometimes Ah...Ah do wish that Ah w-was somepony else,” Apple Bloom said between sobs and sniffles, “Ah really wish Ah could be like everypony else.”
“That’s where you're wrong, Apple Bloom!”
The yellow filly raised her gaze to see Luna stand up and turn away from her. “This may be difficult for you to understand now,” she started, “but as you start to accept this, your fears will subside. If you already told one friend, that’s a step in the right direction, and you’ll become more comfortable with it the more you tell other ponies and talk to them about it. Your friend may be shocked to hear this from you, but if she is a true friend she will eventually accept it, like you should. You are not the only filly in Equestria that likes other fillies either, and you’re not alone. You’re never alone.”
Apple Bloom sighed and looked at the ground, considering what the princess had said. On the one hoof it was true that she had never really considered there would be any other ponies that liked the same gender, but on the other hoof-
“She probably doesn’t feel the same way about me.”
“And she might not,” Luna agreed, “but you never know until you’ve tried.” It was then that Luna started to fly up toward the empty sky in Apple Bloom’s dream. All Apple Bloom could do was stare up at her as her wings spread to their fullest extent and she shrunk and shrunk into the moon. “Remember, Apple Bloom, you are never truly alone!”
As the little dot that was the Princess finally faded into the moon, Apple Bloom heard a distant voice calling for her.
“Wakey wakey, little sis!”
Apple Bloom woke up under her covers to find Applejack hovering over her with a big smile on her face. She turned toward the window to look outside and she saw that it was still early in the morning, which meant that-
“It’s time to go to school, sugarcube! How are you feeling today?”
“Better,” Apple Bloom said, which was the truth. It wasn’t hard to beat, but she felt thousands of times better than yesterday.
“Great! You look better, too. Your eyes are a little puffy, though. Did you sleep okay?”
Apple Bloom hid her fear that she had been crying in her sleep behind a shy smile and a head nod.
“Good,” Applejack said, turning towards the door. “We’ll get yourself washed up and ready to go, then. Big Mac’s making breakfast this morning, and Ah bet him three bits he couldn’t flip four pancakes at the same time, so you better go fast!”
She laughed and rounded the corner, leaving the door open on the way out. “Geez, for the Element of Honesty she sure isn’t very good at detecting lies,” she said with a head shake, although she couldn’t really complain. She had been lying a lot lately it seemed and her big sister had picked up on very few.
Apple Bloom got out of bed and went down the hallway to the bathroom, straightening her bow in the mirror. As she looked at herself she began considering what the Princess had said to her.
Scootaloo is walking with her friends Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle to school like they usually do, with the exception of yesterday because Apple Bloom was late getting to their meetup point. The only major difference today was that Scootaloo was the only pony doing the talking, while Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were walking as far away from each other as possible and trying to avoid each other’s looks.
“Nothing,” they said at the same time, causing them to blush in embarrassment.
A small moment of silence followed this awkward interaction before Scootaloo froze and sat down on the dirt road and crossed her arms and gave the two a stern look.
“You two have been radio silent since we met up, and I want to know why!”
“Nothing’s wrong!” Sweetie Belle said quickly, “Everything Is absolutely fine! Right, Apple Bloom?”
“Right,” the earth pony replied, still avoiding her gaze.
“Yeah right,” Scootaloo said, not believing her friends, “it’s obvious you two are hiding something, so tell me!”
It was clear that Scootaloo was not going to let them off the hook, and that meant that one of the two ponies were going to have to think of something fast.
“We had a little disagreement about what we should do today as Crusaders,” Sweetie Belle lied.
Scootaloo raised an eyebrow, encouraging the two fillies to keep going with their explanation.
“Ah didn’t want to do sculpture after all,” Apple Bloom chimed in. Sweetie Belle turned to her in surprise, as the unicorn filly had been doing most of the talking out of the two of them so far in their awkward attempts to both fool Scootaloo and be as far away from each other as possible.
Sweetie Belle picked up the hint and thought of a response. “I told her that I wanted to do it and we had a big fight, but we’re okay now.” Apple Bloom nodded in agreement.
The two looked to their suspicious friend, whose expression seemed to go away just like the hollow feeling in Sweetie Belle’s stomach.
“I mean we don’t have to do it if you don’t want to,” Scootaloo assured Apple Bloom, “and we don’t have to think of anything for this afternoon yet. We can just roll with the punches and come up with something.”
Sweetie Belle looked over to Apple Bloom and winked at her, who jolted for a second before nodding in agreement. “Okay,” she said nervously.
“Cool!” Scootaloo exclaimed, completely forgetting about what had happened before, “So for the homework last night, did you gals get the answer for number three?”
The three fillies launched into a conversation about the homework, which went on for the duration of their walk to school. ——————————————————
After some time of walking they reached the brick building in time for school. Unlike last time, however, Apple Bloom was there with plenty of time to spare and she came with her two best friends by her side.
She hoped that today would be far better than yesterday, which was almost guaranteed. “Ah almost passed out and had to go home sick,” she thought supposedly, “Ah don’t think it could get much worse.”
When they walked in the classroom she saw that about half of her classmates had already arrived, including Pip, Featherweight, and Twist. The clock said that there were about ten minutes to go before class started, and Miss Cheerilee didn’t mind how early you got to her school until the bell rang, but if you trotted in after that she would give you the evil eye, one that Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and even Scootaloo has seen many times before.
Apple Bloom looked over to the desk to say hello to their teacher when she noticed her doing something unusual about her. Most times when Apple Bloom would walk in the room she would see her purple and pink teacher sitting at her desk and preparing for her lesson or a test for today. Instead, however, she seemed to be silently watching three ponies enter, thoughtfully studying them.
At first she thought that Scootaloo had done something bad again. “The last time she had looked at us like this, Scootaloo had written her name on the inside of her desk.” It seemed like it was going to be some kind of trouble for Scootaloo until…
“Sweetie Belle? Could I please talk to you for a moment?”
Both fillies turned to look at their unicorn friend, who looked like she had as much idea of what their teacher wanted as they did. She gave her friends a confused glance before she followed Miss Cheerilee out of the school.
“What was that all about?” Scootaloo asked Apple Bloom.
“Ah don’t rightly know,” Apple Bloom responded. “Maybe Miss Cheerilee is talking to her about our big project like she did for me yesterday.”
“She hasn’t talked to me yet, and I still don’t have a plan.”
“She’s probably used to it by now, Scootaloo. You always pull something off at the last second.”
Both of them giggled before finding their seats in the classroom and waiting for their friend to get back.
——————————————————
Sweetie Belle really didn’t know what to think of this scenario.
Of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, she was the one that Miss Cheerilee had to pull aside and talk to the least. She was a goody four shoes, and she always did her homework neat and on time, qualities that she often shared with her older sister.
She also was the most well behaved out of the three. Apple Bloom was good except for the fights she got into every once and awhile, and Scootaloo was just a troublemaker, always finding a way to provoke a talk. She, on the other hoof, never got into fights and was always nice to all of her classmates, even the bullies, so the fact that she was being called outside now was really scary to her.
She followed her teacher as they rounded the corner of the little school and stopped when the teacher turned around to face her, but the expression surprised her.
Instead of the one she used when Scootaloo was talking in class too much, or when Diamond Tiara was caught bullying, or even an angry or mad one at all. It was more sympathetic, worried, and even a little sad.
“Sweetie Belle, are you alright?” she asked looking down at the white filly.
“I think so,” Sweetie Belle responded, confused, “why do you ask?”
“Your sister told me about how Diamond Tiara was making fun of you by calling you certain names, and I just wanted to…”
Cheerilee’s voice faded out as the hollow feeling Sweetie Belle had in her belly when she lied to Scootaloo cane back. “How could I forget? Of course Rarity was going to tell the teacher! How am I supposed to get out of this now?”
While she had thought of a good way to get out of telling Rarity why she wanted to know what a fillyfooler is, she hadn’t even remembered the excuse, let alone prepared for it. Miss Cheerilee is going to find out that Diamond Tiara never called me that, and everypony will know I lied, and will want to know the real place I heard it.”
“...so if something like this ever happens to you again, Sweetie Belle, please let me know as soon as possible.”
Sweetie Belle was able to get out of her thoughts to hear the last part of her teacher’s long speech. Although she only heard the beginning and the end, she nodded like she understood and said, “Yeah, thanks Miss Cheerilee!”
Cheerilee smiled and gave Sweetie Belle a hug of encouragement. “No matter what other kids may call you or how you might react, you will always be who you think you are, so don’t listen to the negativity, but focus on the positivity.” She let go and smiled, “Now let’s get to class. It starts in a few minutes.”
Sweetie Belle felt her fear go away and relief come to her. After the surprise conversation she hoped that everything would clear up, and it would be the end of it, never to be mentioned again.
Unfortunately she had missed quite a few important details that Miss Cheerilee had said while talking to her.
“Big Mac! Big Macintosh! Could you be a dear and help me with this here pot of water?”
Granny Smith was busy trying to haul a big pot of water that she had just filled to start making the family lunch. She filled it all the way up with warm water, but underestimated the weight and failed to lift it out of the tub. The red stallion she had called for was taking a small break and was about to go back out into the fields, but was more than happy to help his elderly grandmother with the pot.
He walked over and helped lift the silver container up and over the sink, then they moved it to the counter, placing it on the stove next to the sink.
“Whew, thanks sonny,” Granny Smith responded, “I’m not as strong of a mare as I used to be.”
Big Mac nodded and started to walk the wooden floor to the living room with the screen door when he was called back by the elderly pony.
“Oh and Big Mac. Could you do me a favor and get Apple Bloom’s and your sheets for me? Applejack already gave them to me earlier, and Ah want to get them done before small fry gets back here.”
“Eeyup,” he replied, turning around and going up the stairs that creaked under his weight slightly. The family had always had plans to renovate the inside of their barn, but they had never gotten around to it because of recent events attributing mostly to Applejack leaving Ponyville to go on adventures with her friends more often. The stairs had been creeking for as long as he could remember, even when he was just a little colt, but in recent memory they seemed to be louder and more annoying, but that was because of the size he had grown over the years.
He got to the top of the “musical stairs” and decided to go to his room and get his sheets first. He walked into his room and went over to his bed, stripping it off its comforter, sheets, and blankets to wash, throwing them onto the barren floor of his room. Although there was nothing particularly special about his room, if a pony were to walk into it for the first time, they would be amazed to see how little of everything there was in his room. He had a simple bed in the corner, a dresser with a few scarves and even some hats in it, and a window that gave him a nice view of the west field.
Big Mac never really bothered to decorate his room, since he spent so little time there except to sleep, preferring to be working or wandering on long silent walks.
The only thing in his room that stood out was a little picture frame on the top of his dresser, which had a picture of him as a colt standing next to two older ponies, a filly and a mare, the filly holding foal Applejack and the mare with a slightly protruding belly. It was this object in his room that made him stop to gaze for a second. Out of all the Apple siblings he had been the closest to his parents, mostly because he had spent the most time with them, and when they left the world forever it took a while to put the family on track.
For Big Mac, it just gave him an empty void feeling that left him irritable and even more quiet than usual, while Granny Smith often cried herself to sleep and Applejack and Apple Bloom were both still too young to understand. It took him a while, nut the numbness he felt almost completely faded away and he was able to look back on his memories with his parents without breaking down in sadness, and he quickly grew into the role as stallion of the farm, doing all the heavy lifting while Applejack went to school and Granny Smith cared for Apple Bloom.
Big Mac sighed after staring at the picture for a few moments before remembering the reason he was upstairs instead of out in the field in the first place. “Applejack’s gonna have mah hide if she thinks Ah’ve been doing something other than chores,” he thought as he quickly picked up all of the things from his bed and carried them downstairs to be washed.
“Just put them on the clothesline for now,” Granny Smith called out, “Ah’ll fetch them to be washed after lunch.”
Big Mac nodded and did as the mare said before going back up the stairs again, this time going into Apple Bloom’s room for the same reason as his.
Opening the door, he saw how vastly different it was from his. Her bed had a canopy over, and was decorated with pictures of apples, just like the tops of her walls. In the corner there was a chest of her old toys, most of which she never played with anymore, but was too stubborn to give away, although Big Mac heard something about Applejack giving them to the Cake Twins.
He ran over to the aforementioned bed and started stripping the mattress clean of everything on it. Comforter, sheets, blanket. “What?”
Big Mac heard something thump on the wooden second story floor as he got everything off. He turned to look for the source, his green eyes falling on a little yellow book that had opened to a page. As he looked closer he saw that it was in his sister’s mouth writing. He had to admit it had gotten better since the last time he had to check her homework. Granny was asleep and Applejack was out with Rainbow Dash.
He was about to lean down to pick it up and put it back on the bed when he noticed something littering the white pages. Splotch marks. Lots of splotch marks blurring the words and smearing the ink.
Big Mac’s eyes widened as he realized what that meant, and his inner big brother sense started to tingle. His sister had been crying while writing in this book.
He realized that the only way he could know why without asking her directly was by reading the contents. He normally wouldn’t try to snoop around into other ponies’ businesses, that was more of Applejack’s thing, and he respected that Apple Bloom had her own secrets she didn’t want anypony to know, but his brotherly instincts took over this time as he read what was written on the page.
Dear Diary,
I know I just got done writing about my day, but something really big happened to me. My friends came to visit, and when Sweetie Belle stayed behind she seemed really concerned. I really hate seeing her sad, and so we talked a little longer before she noticed this diary sticking out of the back of my pillow! Obviously I tried to take it away from her, but she kept asking me silly questions about what could be in it and laughing. Normally I love it when she laughs because her face brightens up in the cutest way that makes me warm all over, but I was terrified, so I had to hide under my covers. She started pestering me about what was wrong, and I really felt like just melting through my bed and never coming out, but eventually I had to tell her the honest truth, or at least part of it. I told her I was a fillyfooler, but I didn’t tell her that I loved her. She seemed scared of me after that, nervously smiling and making her way out of my room as fast as she could, so now she thinks I’m weird and will never talk to me again! I don’t want her to tell Scootaloo! I don’t want her to tell anypony! I just want to like colts, not fillies! Celestia please take this horrible curse off of me! I’m doomed! Lock me in a dungeon until I get over this phase! Anything!
——————————————————
“Oh, Big Mac your back,” Granny Smith called from the kitchen as hooves noisily and hastily pounded down. “Listen, Ah need you to take that hay on the side of the barn and-” she was cut off by the sound of the front screen door slamming. “Where’s he off to in such a hurry?”
——————————————————
“Where is that brother o’ mine?”
Applejack has been working in the field alone for roughly a half an hour now, asking herself the same question on and off again. He said something about needing to take a break, but his definition of a break is usually five minutes, ten if it’s really hard work or raining, but thirty?
Applejack has to admit, though, her brother was not at all liberal with his breaks, and wouldn’t take any at all if his grandmother hadn’t insisted on it, so she didn’t mind this prolonged break too much. It still annoyed her, though, that he had failed to mention the length of time he would be out for.
She stretched out her back legs and struck the tree that she was standing next to, which yielded all of its fruit to the orange mare. She went over to grab them before he saw a small glint of red in the corner of her eye, and looking closer she saw that it was moving, too.
“Big Mac! Hey, Big Mac!” she shouted running over to her big brother as fast as she could, and therefore reaching him in only fifteen seconds. “What in tarnation took y’all so long?” she asked in a voice that wasn’t scolding so much as it was annoyed at his antics. “You barely take so much as a break and here you are going off for so long to do Celestia knows what, and another thing-”
She paused when she observed her brother for the first time, taken aback by what she saw. He was staring at the ground and trotting slowly, seeming deep in thought. His eyes were far off and his mouth was a frown of actual sadness instead of a neatest frown or a soft smile.
Normally Applejack knew her brother to be somewhat stoic, never showing too much emotion or enthusiasm over anything, so to see him looking this beat down alarmed her.
“What’s wrong with you? Did Granny Smith hurt herself?! Ah have to go check on her!” Before she ran off Big Mac shook his head. “No, well then why do you look like Twilight when she finishes a book on a cliffhanger?”
Big Mac simply looked up and gazed off into the distance toward the center of Ponyville.
“Come along, Macintosh! We don’t have all day.”
A young red colt with a yoke around his neck looked up at his yellow coated father who was walking down the central path of Ponyville. They had gone out to get some sweets from Sugarcube Corner that they had ordered earlier. Macintosh’s younger sister had been waiting for it all day, and she was guaranteed to meet them before they even walked through the door to get her hooves on some.
As they walked, Big Mac glanced around at the other ponies situated around the town. Some were walking past them, others lounging on benches, and some still going into stores, restaurants, and whatever else Ponyville had to offer.
Finally, their destination was in sight before them, a towering sweets shop owned by family friends Mr. and Mrs. Cake. It wasn’t towering in general, but for Ponyville it was one of the tallest, and it caught a lot of attention from out of town ponies looking for something delicious.
As they neared their location, Macintosh noticed something on a bench nearby. There were two teenage colts sitting there, both earth ponies, one light green and the other a lighter red. This wouldn’t have been too out of the ordinary, but they were doing something the colt had only seen his parents doing. They were rubbing noses against one another and holding hooves.
And Macintosh certainly wasn’t the only one to notice.
“Macintosh,” his dad whispered to him, “follow me! We’ll go around the back way!”
The colt looked at his father with surprise but nodded and did as he was told, both keeping a rather brisk pace. As he turned around to eye the two colts again he saw that not only had they not noticed the Apples trying to sneak away, but they had switched to kissing instead.
Before Macintosh could ask anymore questions, they hid behind a nearby building and stayed there for a minute, his dad mumbling something about daring to be in public.
“Pa,” Macintosh interrupted his mumble rant, “what were those two colts there doing?”
His father just stared at him for a minute, the silence suffocating as he appeared to be trying to find the right words, before sighing and appearing to give up.
“Son,” he started, which Macintosh knew was usually not a good sign, as his father only referred to him as son when he was about to launch into a lecture, “do y’all remember when you asked me about how a mare and a stallion fall in love with each other?” He waited for his son to respond with a nod, “Well, that’s the right way to do it. Fillies are supposed to like colts, and colts are supposed to like fillies. There are some,” he jabbed a hoof in the direction where they had come from, “that believe otherwise. They go through phases where they claim to be in love with a pony of their own gender, the way Ah love your ma, but it’s a load of barnacles!”
“But pa, what makes them do things like that?”
“Ah don’t rightly know,” his father shook his head, “but Ah do know this, it’s a crime against nature, so just know that nothing like that will ever be tolerated under mah roof. Understand, Big Macintosh?”
Wait, Big Macintosh?
His father had never called him that ever.
“Big Macintosh?”
What was going on-”
“BIG MAC!”
The red stallion was brought back to reality by his orange sister, who had resorted to tapping him on the head to make sure he was fine.
“Ah lost you there for a second,” Applejack said worriedly, “now, what in tarnation is going on with you?”
Big Mac looked back at the barn, remembering his dad’s words.
“Nothing like that will ever be tolerated under mah roof.”
His far off look turned into one of a scowl, which had not gone unnoticed by Applejack, who looked at him with a slight fear in her eyes.
The three crusaders had been sitting in class all day waiting for the bell to ring and let them out. Today had been very boring for the colts and fillies because Cheerilee’s lesson was on how quilts were made. At first Sweetie Belle seemed a little excited but it soon died down after she realized they wouldn’t be making any, but instead listening to a boring lecture about it, with her bringing in the Quills and Sofas pony for a presentation.
The bell finally rang, signalling the end of the day, and the three fillies ran as fast as possible, but their advance was halted by their teacher.
“Sweetie Belle, could I have one more word with you before I let you go?”
Sweetie Belle turned to her head and nodded, indicating that she was fine with her friends going ahead of her, so Apple Bloom and Scootaloo turned around and trotted next to each other out of the school and decided to wait outside under a nearby tree.
“Why does Miss Cheerilee wanna keep talking to Sweetie Belle?” Apple Bloom asked once they got in the shade.
“Beats me,” Scootaloo said, “she probably was staring off into space all class.”
“That’s what you would do, Scoots,” Apple Bloom pointed out, “Sweetie Belle is the most well behaved filly in our whole class, and Ah think it’s weird that she’s been pulled aside more than once on the same day!”
“It’s probably nothing. Maybe Cheerilee wants a dress from Rarity or something stupid like that.”
“How come you always think stuff like that is stupid?”
“Because it is!”
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes and looked back to see her friend walking out the door, looking relieved. Apple Bloom couldn’t help but stare into the soft blue eyes that were softened even more by the cute calmed expression.
“Dang it Apple Bloom!” her thoughts yelled to her, “stop thinking about this stuff!”
“Well, that was…interesting,” Sweetie Belle’s adorable high pitched voice broke said.
“You’re doing it again!” she thought.
Scootaloo smirked and asked, “Are you in trouble or something?”
“Well, not really, you see...uh…I really don’t know. It’s just a big confusing mess.”
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom exchanged a look which showed the other how confused they were.
“Is she mad at you?” Scootaloo asked.
“No, or at least, I don’t think so.”
Apple Bloom scanned Sweetie Belle for any signs lying, a talent she shared with her sister, although it was not as good. Applejack could sniff a lie from a mile away from almost anypony. but Apple Bloom had learned how to get under her radar.
When she didn’t find any signals she just shrugged and faced Scootaloo. “Can we get to the clubhouse? Ah think Applejack mentioned she was gonna start dinner early today.”
“But how are we supposed to make up for all the crusading we missed yesterday?” Scootaloo asked.
“We’ll be able to do it tomorrow. Ah don’t have any plans then.”
“Great!” Sweetie Belle cheered. “Now let’s go while we still have time, crusaders!”
The other two smiled and nodded, following the unicorn filly up the path that led up to Sweet Apple Acres
“Alright, so we’ve ruled out skateboarding cutie marks now, agreed?”
Sweetie Belle was sitting on a chair in the corner of the clubhouse with a pencil in mouth, about to cross off a picture of a skateboard that was on a list of a few other pictures. Right next to them, Apple Bloom was busy putting gauze and bandages on Scootaloo, who had scratches and bruises all over her body.
“Yeah,” Scootaloo said flatly, “who knew that it would be so much different than scootering?”
“Ah told you ya shouldn’t have tried to do tricks on your first try, but y’all wouldn’t listen,” Apple Bloom pointed out, tightening the bandaid on her pegasus friend’s forearm, making her wince slightly. “So what do we do now?”
“Well, we could always try doing this,” Sweetie Belle held up the page and pointed the pencil tip at a drawing of a headband.
“What’s that?” Scootaloo asked.
“It’s for sprinting. It might be fun to just run around all day.”
“Don’t we just go and do that everytime we go crusading?”
“Well yeah,” Sweetie Belle replied, “but now we’ll actually have a good reason to do it, so why not?”
“I’m okay with doing that,” Scootaloo said before raising one of her scrapped forehooves and pointing the other at it, “but can it wait until tomorrow? I think this is going to need a little time to heal.”
“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea,” Sweetie Belle responded, turning to Apple Bloom. “Is that alright with you, AB?”
Apple Bloom shook her head a little. She had no idea that she had stopped listening and was only looking at Sweetie Belle. “You're doing it again!” In order to not raise any suspicions, Apple Bloom pretended like she simply wanted a final runthrough of their plan.
“Uh, yeah girls, sounds fine to me! So what’re we planning on doing?”
Scootaloo raised an eyebrow a smidge while Sweetie Belle smiled and repeated the plan. “Tomorrow we’ll meet outside of school and run around Ponyville for an hour or so. Hopefully we’ll be so good that we’ll just end up getting our cutie marks by the time we’re done!”
“But how can y’all be so sure that we’ll get them?”
“When have we never?” Scootaloo pointed out. “Besides, remember that time we stayed at Fluttershy’s cottage? She couldn’t keep up with us the whole time.”
“Good point,” Apple Bloom admitted, “but if all our special talents are running, how come we haven’t gotten them yet since we do that all the time together?”
Sweetie Belle turned her head slightly in confusion while Scootaloo slapped a hoof to her forehead.
“Geez, Apple Bloom, have you been listening to us at all?” she asked with a joking smile.
“Oh, did we already go through all this?” Apple Bloom sighed. “Ah think Ah’m just really hungry, thinking about dinner and all.”
“That’s fine,” Sweetie Belle said, “I think it’s time that I get back to the Boutique anyway. Rarity said to come back home as soon as we finished.”
Scootaloo nodded. “Alright, so we have a game plan?” She received an answer from both fillies in the form of a nod. “Alright, meeting adjourned.”
Apple Bloom ran out first, not only in hopes of getting home early to eat, but so that she could have some time alone to get her thoughts straight.
“Hey, Apple Bloom!”
Or not.
She turned around to see the small white unicorn filly that had been on her mind throughout the meeting running up to catch up with her. She caught a glimpse of Scootaloo putting on her helmet and preparing to scooter off the other way, so it seemed like there was no escape from this confrontation.
She thought she’d try anyway.
“Sweetie Belle, Ah’m kinda in a hurry to get home.” She tried to say it as politely as possible.
“Oh sorry, I was just wondering if we could talk for a second.”
Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow and shrugged, thinking the conversation couldn’t possibly take too long. “Can we walk and talk?”
Sweetie Belle smiled and nodded, before starting to walk right next to her best friend.
“So I just really wanted to talk a little bit more about, uh, you know…”
Apple Bloom turned to look at Sweetie Belle when she hesitated, but her friend couldn’t look her back in the eye.
“Talk more about what?”
“You know...yesterday.”
Suddenly everything froze for the yellow pony. Her thoughts froze, her walking froze, and even time froze. She couldn’t think, move, or feel time passing for a few seconds.
It seemed to melt away when she saw Sweetie Belle’s heat ray, or just her look of concern. Her ears folded against the side of her head and she looked to the dirt path.
“Oh.”
That’s all that she could say. She tried to look her friend in the eyes but she winced and looked away as their eyes locked momentarily.
Silence over took them for a second, both hoping that one of them would give in and break it. Apple Bloom won.
“Can I ask you a question?” Sweetie Belle asked. Apple Bloom only nodded. “What’s the big deal about it?”
Apple Bloom thought her head might fall of based on how hard she felt it jerked up. She looked at Sweetie Belle like she was crazy.
“W-what do you m-mean?” she stammered out the question.
“Well, I don’t see any problems with liking ponies of the same gender.”
If Apple Bloom’s eyes could’ve widened any farther they certainly would have after Sweetie Belle said so. It wasn’t even as if she was saying it just to comfort her. Her tone held no awkwardness in it, and she was looking to her friend with the most sincere face anypony could muster. “She really meant it,” Apple Bloom thought, “she’s not joking!”
“I’m guessing there are some ponies out there who don’t agree with it,” Sweetie Belle continued, “but there are so many ponies in Equestria, and not everypony will agree on anything. I know for a fact that there are plenty of ponies here in Ponyville that would not judge you or how you feel toward fillies.”
She began to take several steps toward Apple Bloom, who shied away slightly, but it didn’t stop Sweetie Belle from coming inches away from her before stopping.
“Everypony is different, and we learn to accept those differences over time. You should be free to live your life however you feel is right, and if anypony tries to tell you different, they clearly don’t have your best interests in mind, because every single pony should be free to Perdue their own happiness. I guess what I’m trying to say,” she paused and wrapped her friend in a hug, “is that I like you just the way you are!”
Apple Bloom felt frozen again, as she felt unable to leave the embrace. For what felt like the thousandth time, she felt her face heat up and her heartbeat intensify, especially now that she was hugging her crush. “This feels really nice. This feels right. Maybe Ah really can be with fillies! Maybe Ah can be with Sweetie Belle! Maybe…”
“NO!”
Her frozen status was broken and she pushed Sweetie Belle. Both were shocked by the action, but Sweetie Belle seemed more shocked.
“No!” Apple Bloom yelled. “No! No! NO! Ah can’t take it! Ah don’t want to be like this! Ah want it to be like mah sister always tells me! To fall in love with a colt and marry him someday, and to start a family with him! But Ah know that I will never be happy because CELESTIA DECIDED TO PUT THIS CURSE ON ME!”
Sweetie Belle stared in shock as Apple Bloom finally stopped to take a breath, unable to take this news.
“Apple Bloom-”
“Ah really do try to like colts and to push mah feelings down, but there’s only so far down you can push them before they boil over! Ah can’t take it anymore! Ah don’t even feel like a pony! Ah’m just a freak! A stupid, terrible fillyfooling freak!”
Sweetie Belle felt her eyes well up with tears after hearing the last part. She couldn’t believe the hate and cursing that her friend was giving herself.
“Apple Bloom, I-”
“If mah family ever found out Ah was like this, they’d throw me out! Ah’ve heard that that’s what families do to freaks like me! They send them to the streets and force them to survive as long as they possibly can! If mah sister, mah brother, or even mah Granny Smith found out, they wouldn’t love me any more! No pony would love me!”
“That’s not true-”
“It is true! Ah’m sick of this! Ah’m sick of lying all the time to hide my feelings! Ah’m sick of knowing that one slip up and all of Equestria will know about them! Ah’m sick of these feelings, Ah’m sick of being the way that Ah am, and Ah can’t help but hate myself!”
Apple Bloom finally stopped her hate-filled rant, taking several loins hulking breaths. She hadn’t realized a few tears had gone past her eyes and were slowly making their way down her cheeks. She sniffed and wiped a hoof across her face to clear any tears or snot. That’s when she saw Sweetie Belle.
She was in shocked, to say the least, but more than that, she was sad. She was sad that her friend not only thought that nopony would love her, but that she didn’t even love herself. Her eyes glimmered from the sunlight hitting them while filled with tears. She looked like she was trying to think of what to say next but couldn’t through her processing of Apple Bloom’s words.
Apple Bloom wanted to make her feel better somehow, but she was so emotional it made her feel sick.
Literally.
She quickly looked around before running toward the direction of the farmhouse, not sparing a glance at the filly behind her as she desperately tried to make it before she threw up on the path back.
Sweetie Belle just stared off in the direction her saddened friend ran, still mortified by everything that had just happened, before painfully muttering out her name softly.
The sun was getting lower on the horizon, the trees to the west were starting to illuminate at the edges by the sunlight. To most ponies, it was a beautiful sight, the light being the sun’s reminder to them that tomorrow would be a new day, and to put whatever darkness might have befell them the day before and leave it all behind.
It was a beautiful reminder, that is, if a pony were looking at it.
Instead of doing that, Apple Bloom was walking up the path white her head hung low, watching all of the dirt and pebbles go underhoof. Occasionally a tear would pass by her muzzle and fall on the same path, but not nearly as much compared to what she had let loose earlier.
After the disaster that was her conversation with Sweetie Belle, she once again doubted her ability to go back again. Back to school. Back to reality. Back to Sweetie Belle.
When she ran away from the white unicorn in a nauseous frenzy, she had tried to simultaneously find a good place to throw up while also being a good hiding place in case she tried to follow her. Luckily, she found just that.
At the last second she darted behind a green bush off the path by a couple of yards and emptied the contents of her stomach there. When she had finished she took a peek out in the direction from where she came from to see if her friend had decided to follow her. When she couldn’t see Anypony approaching, she sighed in relief, but the sigh was replaced by sobs a second later.
“Why?” Why was Ah born this way? Why can’t Ah just run away and live out in the Everfree Forest? Ah want to stay up in mah room and never come out! Ah want to make sure that Ah don’t see anypony ever again! Ah...Ah…”
She sighed and looked down at the dirt that had turned to mud from the tears that she had shed.
“Ah want Sweetie Belle, but no matter how hard Ah try, she won’t love me. No mare ever will. So Ah might as well just give up. But,” she sniffled, “but Ah really don’t want to.”
She wiped away the last few tears and tried to think of something positive, which is what Applejack had always told her to do when life got her down, and it always worked before.
She thought of a nice rainbow over the Apple Orchard, the colors interlocking together in harmony, shining down on all of Equestria. But then she thought of the rainbow flag that she saw being burned in Canterlot when the Apple family went on vacation in an anti-gay protest.
She shook her head and thought of school, and her teacher, and her friends who loved her so well. “Sweetie Belle is one of them!” And her thoughts then turned to her squealing on her, the news circulating, hate notes on her desk, scoffing and head shakes of disapproval from her Cheerilee, and the isolation it would cause.
This was the first time nothing she thought about seemed to help brighten her mood, as each thought seemed to push her further and further down a bottomless pit.
“What’s wrong with me?” she asked aloud to nopony in particular, a few stray tears running down her cheeks. She was about to wonder more when she looked up and saw the sun setting.
Suddenly, she was snapped out of her grief and only thought one thing now. “Run!”
She started to book it home, knowing that her sister would probably be mad at her for being so late, but at this point not caring. All she cared about was not coming home after dark at this point.
——-
“Dinner’s ready, y’all,” Applejack called out as she brought out a bowl of mashed potatoes and put it on the dining room table. Aside from that they also had some pasta with an Alfredo sauce and, of course, apple pie for dessert.
The reason for such a big meal was to celebrate another successful harvest, even though it wasn’t complete yet, but it would be in a few days. Everytime they got close, the Apples always had a big dinner to celebrate coming into the homestretch.
“Look delicious, Applejack,” Granny exclaimed looking at the meal, “Ah remember when Ah taught you how to make this and you nearly burned down the whole farmhouse!”
Applejack rolled her eyes as her elderly grandmare chuckled. She went to the staircase to call her brother down when the door opened behind her.
“Oh, Apple Bloom, good timing! Dinner’s ready, so why don’t you go upstairs and get Big Mac down here so we can eat together?”
Applejack trotted back to the dining room and kitchen with the same relaxed smile on her face that her younger sister had seen many times. Had Applejack looked closer, she would have seen the tired, red, and puffy eyes Apple Bloom was sporting, but she seemed relieved that she didn’t have to yell at the big brother of the family to get downstairs anymore.
Apple Bloom looked up the stairs for a few seconds before ascending them, hearing the soft creak each time her hoof took a step, and got to the top and went to the bathroom. When she got there, she looked in the mirror and saw pretty much what she expected.
A sad, disheveled filly who had looked like she had a rough time, and she did, but it seemed as though she couldn’t remain eye locked with the reflection for very long before she turned away in disgust, hating the pony staring back at her.
She turned on the sink and splashed some cool water in her face, hoping that it might make her appearance less tired and teary. She looked back and, although her dislike for the pony in the mirror didn’t fade, she did look somewhat cleaner, and that’s all she cared about.
“There, that oughta do it,” she chuckled dryly. She felt so emotionless after having bawled them all out in the last hour that, despite her eyes avoiding her bathroom mirror, she felt super distant and unable to feel any sort of feeling for anything now.
She waited a minute before going to complete the task that was given by her elder sister. She walked out the bathroom door and down the hallway, taking note of how Big Mac’s bedroom door was closed, which struck Apple Bloom as odd. It seemed like the big red stallion always had his door open, whether he was in there or not.
Apple Bloom shrugged and knocked lightly on the ajar door.
“Big Mac! Hey Big Mac! Dinner’s ready!” She waited for a few seconds for a response or even a sound of indication that her brother was inside, but her ear couldn’t pick up one.
“Big Mac? Y’all alright in there?” she asked while sticking her head through the door. There, sitting in the middle of his bedroom, was the large figure of her older brother, staring out his window with something clutched in his hooves. He didn’t acknowledge the pony who had walked in the room.
“Are you okay?” she said trotting close to him, and only stopping when she was right behind her brother. She looked at him slightly worried as he still refused to give any sort of answer, so she reached up and placed one small hoof on the stallion’s back.
Suddenly it was like Big Mac was hit with a lightning bolt, or a blast of adrenaline, as he jumped up and turned around fast, looking around frantically before his eyes fell down on his younger sister. Apple Bloom assumed that once he saw that it was just her he would calm down, but instead he remained startled, as if he wanted to back away with all of his might, but he was too afraid to do so. His scared look was only wiped away when it was replaced with a scowl, eyebrows furrowing and his frown deepening.
For a few seconds he just simply stared at his sister before turning around, trotting to his dresser, and putting the object he was holding into the top drawer. He then let out a breath and walked out of his room, failing to make eye contact with his sister.
Apple Bloom scratched her head with her hoof, trying to think of an explanation, but upon finding none, she simply shrugged and went after her brother and shut the door behind.
“Ah wonder if he didn’t reach his apple bucking goal,” Apple Bloom thought as she descended the stairs. “He usually reaches them, and he gets all mad when he can’t do it.”
-----
It was Applejack and Granny Smith talking at dinner time, while the two other ponies had a lot on their minds clearly.
Apple Bloom at least was able to say a few words of response or something along those lines every time the conversation drifted her way, while Big Mac stayed radio silent. It wasn’t unusual to find the stallion silent, as he was a pony who only liked to give simple answers and only when the time needed it, but now he couldn’t utter even a single word. He just sat at the table and poked at his food, only putting a few stray pieces of pasta in his mouth every now and then.
Apple Bloom was still caught up in her own world, recovering from the effects of her mental breakdown in front of Sweetie Belle. The nausea and tears may have subsided, but she still felt the dull gnawing feeling it left behind. Unlike her brother, though, she was able to come out of the feeling and make a comment in Applejack and Granny’s conversation, which at the moment was about some blight that Applejack has found on a branch that day.
“And then Ah took the branch and put it in the pile like you said, but Ah decided not to burn it on account of it being too dry lately.”
Granny took a sip from the glass beside her before nodding. “Better safe than sorry. Mah cousin came over here to visit one dry summer and almost burned down the whole orchard. Said it was fine and nothing would catch.”
Applejack shook her head lightly before turning to her sister. “So Apple Bloom, how was your day at school.”
“It was fine, a little boring though,” she responded, giving her usual answer.
“Cheerilee still droning on and on about the pegasus uprisings?” Applejack chuckled after asking the question. “Ah remember Ah fell asleep in her class that day and we had a pop quiz the next day. Needless to say I failed.”
She giggled a little longer before turning to Big Mac with a smile. When she saw no reaction her frown went away. “C’mon big brother! That was hilarious when Ah came home with a giant zero on my paper! Granny had mah flank and you were rolling on the floor laughing like mad.”
“Eeyup,” Big Mac responded flatly, his first word delivered since the family sat down, and Applejack took notice.
“What’s got you so quiet Bi-” she stopped and thought before correcting herself, “MORE quiet than usual Mac?”
He froze and looked up, and Apple Bloom thought she saw his eyes dart her way and then back just as quickly, before he mumbled something about being tired and focusing on his plate again.
Applejack raised an eyebrow before shaking her head. “You should get more sleep. Ah told you waking up an hour earlier now was a bad idea.”
What seemed to throw Applejack off even more was her brother simply nodded in agreement. He had fought with both his sister and granny to allow him to wake up earlier, as the two mares were concerned about him not getting enough sleep. Eventually they relented, and the stallion never had any problems with waking up that early.
That is, until, right now.
“Wow, big brother, you seriously should go hit the hay early tonight,” Applejack commented, before smiling and turning to her little sister, a hoof directed at their brother. “You see, Apple Bloom? This is what happens when you work yourself too hard. You become as dry and emotionless as your brother here.”
Apple Bloom fake smiled at the joke, thinking of how ironic it was that she had just poured out her emotions earlier, and didn’t have any left to share.
The rest of dinner went off without a hitch, and Applejack and Apple Bloom had gone to the sink to wash and dry the dishes respectfully, while Granny went to her rocking chair in the living room and Big Mac went up stairs, supposedly to go to bed like Applejack said.
The two sisters were about half way done when a knock was heard from the front door. Applejack washes the suds from her hooves and trotted into the other room to see who it was. While Apple Bloom continued to dry dishes, she heard the door open and Applejack’s voice.
“Oh, hey Twi! What brings you and Sweetie Belle here so late?”
Sadness, pity, and tears filling up her eyes. This was all Sweetie Belle felt as she saw one of her two best friends in the entire world, Apple Bloom, running away from her at full speed to get away from her. She wanted to follow her and to try to reassure her that everything was alright, and even though she was feeling sad that day, tomorrow was a new day full of endless possibilities for happiness.
But she had already tried that, not once, but now twice, ending in Apple Bloom’s painful revelation and her hasty departure.
Sweetie Belle wiped the tears away from her eyes and pondered what she should do next. What could she do? She was only just a filly, barely comprehending what Apple Bloom was going through herself. She thought about going against her gut feeling and galloping after Apple Bloom because at the very least she wouldn’t have to be alone then, and she’d have somepony’s shoulder to cry on if she needed it. Sweetie Belle shook the thought away knowing that it would do little, especially since she was still just a filly herself, and if Apple Bloom didn’t want to listen to her, then maybe she would listen to an adult instead. But it would have to be somepony outside of the Apple family since she wasn’t sure if they would be accepting knowing their rather conservative beliefs.
She turned around and started to walk away for the first time since she had tried to comfort her friend, and was thinking of who she should ask when she got back to Ponyville. Rarity was the first pony that came to mind, but she felt that she had already told Rarity too much, and also she would probably figure out that Diamond Tiara never said any of those things to her, which would get the unicorn filly into trouble.
Next was Cheerilee, their faithful teacher, who would probably be kind and supportive to the filly, and that wasn’t what worried Sweetie Belle. What did was if Apple Bloom reacted badly as she had just done, it would become very awkward in the classroom for both ponies, which Sweetie Belle didn’t want to be the cause of.
Then there was Fluttershy, a mare synonymous with kindness and understanding, more than any other pony Sweetie Belle knew. No matter how Apple Bloom felt, or anypony for that matter, Fluttershy would be there to listen, and ever since they had slept over at her cottage the three had felt a special connection to her, so she would be perfect to talk to.
That is, she would be perfect if she wasn’t out of town right now to visit Tree Hugger.
Sweetie Belle could feel all of her options slipping away as she thought of one final pony, one who was both mature enough and understanding enough and would know what to do in this situation. She wasn’t as close to the three fillies as Cheerilee, Fluttershy, or even Pinkie Pie to an extent, but they had definitely learned a thing or two from her over the years.
Without another thought, Sweetie Belle quickened her pace and galloped in the direction of a certain castle just on the edge of Ponyville.
She got to the shiny crystal castle in a few minutes, and she knocked on the door eagerly and waited for a response. After a minute or so the doors opened, revealing a small purple whose face brightened when he saw that it was Sweetie Belle.
“Oh, hi Sweetie Belle! What brings you to the castle?”
“Hey Spike,” Sweetie Belle greeted back, a smile gracing her face, “I need to talk to Twilight about something. Is she busy right now?”
“Well, I’m pretty sure she’s studying right now, but she didn’t tell me to leave her alone for the afternoon so I think she’ll be alright to see you.”
“Thanks, Spike. Do you know where she would be?”
“She’s in the library,” Spike said absentmindedly. He turned to start to walk back from where he came for a few seconds before he realized something. “You don’t know how to get to the library here, do you?”
The only response that he received was a sheepish smile, so he motioned for her to follow him as he led the way through the hallways of the giant castle.
After a wave of silence struck them, Spike broke it by asking, “So why did you want to talk to Twilight? If you don’t mind me asking that is.”
Sweetie Belle thought for a moment before responding. “It’s kind of private, but not anything bad to worry about.” That was a lie. It was pretty bad, but Sweetie Belle didn’t want Spike worrying or asking anymore questions, so she told a teeny lie. At least it wasn’t a complete lie, it was a private matter.
“Alright then, we’re here,” Spike pointed a claw toward a big red door that was currently slightly ajar. “If you’ll please excuse me, I have a very important issue of Power Ponies to get back to. Have a good night.”
Both dragon and pony waved at each other before Spike walked down a hallway and out of sight, becoming engulfed in the castle, while Sweetie Belle went to the door he had pointed out and lightly knocked her small hoof on it. She heard a little bit of rustling from the inside and then hoofsteps hitting the floor and growing louder and louder, stopping as the door swung open. The open door revealed a slightly tired looking Twilight Sparkle, clearly the result of one of her intense study sessions. She looked down at the filly and her face immediately brightened.
“Sweetie Belle! This is a pleasant surprise!”
Sweetie Belle nervously smiled up at her magic mentor, trying to think of what to say for a return response. “Hello, Twilight. I was wondering if I could talk to you about something important for a second.”
“No problem, Sweetie. Come on in!” She stepped aside to let the crusader in. Sweetie Belle was trying to puzzle out how she would open up the conversation, and how she could ask Twilight for her help when it wasn’t really for her. She had no doubts in her mind that the princess would want to help, but she still wasn’t sure how Twilight would respond.
“Should I just ask her to come and talk to Apple Bloom? No, she wouldn’t think it’s important. Should I tell her that I think she might be depressed? Maybe, but that would probably be a given. Should I tell her that...that she likes other fillies? I mean, I promised not to tell anypony, but it might be necessary to do it if-”
“Are you okay, Sweetie Belle?”
The question snapped the filly out of her thoughts, and she realized from her surroundings that she had sat down on a velvet red couch and that Twilight had done the same across from her, a coffee table in the middle. She looked up at the mare and saw a slight look of concern on her features.
Sweetie Belle took a deep breath and decided to just roll with the punches. “I am, but the reason why I wanted to talk with you today is that I think somepony else needs your help.”
There was a little bit of silence between them before Twilight nodded her head to encourage Sweetie Belle to continue.
“Well, I’m just really worried about Apple Bloom is all. She’s been down lately and it seems like it’s only getting worse as we go on. At first, it was just small, like zoning out here and there or not being as active in our meetings, but then it got more and more noticeable. Tonight, she...well, uh, said some things to me that made me realize that she wasn’t okay.”
She could see Twilight’s face grow even more worried, but she just sat and thought for a minute.
“Do you know why she’s so sad?” Twilight asked.
Sweetie Belle panicked on the inside. This was the question she had dreaded, and she hadn’t come up with an answer to it, so all she was able to do was put her head down and lightly nod.
Twilight saw the sad filly get even sadder when she did that. “Did you promise her that you wouldn’t tell anypony?” She nodded again. “Alright, well then why did you decide to come to me?”
For once, Sweetie had the answer to the question prepared, having just thought about it only minutes earlier. “I thought since you know so much maybe you’d be the best pony for her to talk to.”
The alicorn nodded in understanding, stood up, and smiled sweetly. “I think we should definitely go see her if you’re that worried about her.”
She barely finished her sentence before Sweetie Belle ran up and jumped at her to hug her, almost like a white bowling ball trying to knock down a purple pin.
“Thank you so much, Twilight! I knew you’d be able to help!”
“What are friends for?” Twilight asked, hugging her back. When they released the hug together, they trotted out of the library together.
“Spike! I’m going to Sweet Apple Acres for a little bit!” Twilight announced. “You’ll be fine right?”
Spike uttered some sort of response that couldn’t be heard behind his closed bedroom door, but Twilight just continued to lead Sweetie Belle through the hallway and out the door, beginning the trek to the farm.
The filly and the mare were getting closer to the farm now, and right about on time too, because the sun was beginning its descent, making the sky turn yellow and orange. They hadn’t said much to each other since leaving, both consumed in their thoughts. Twilight was still trying to process the information she was given, and although it wasn’t too much, it was still difficult why a cheerful filly like Apple Bloom could get as sad as Sweetie Belle said she was.
Meanwhile, Sweetie Belle was imagining her friend’s reaction to when she showed up less than an hour after they had seen each other last with Twilight, and a thought came to her head that hadn’t before.
“What if her family sees her and gets suspicious? She mentioned that she thought she would get thrown out on the street if they found out, but they would never do that! I know the Apples, and I know that they place the importance of family above all else, and they would never just abandon one of their own, right?”
“You seem worried.”
Sweetie Belle looked over at Twilight and just stared blankly at her for a second before lowering her head and nodding. “I am. I really am.”
“I see,” Twilight said, her voice soft and calming. “I think that you are such a good friend to try to help her as much as you possibly can, even if that requires getting somepony else, and I admire that.”
Sweetie Belle’s face morphed into a small smile of gratitude for a second before changing back to being thoughtful and slightly saddened. “Twilight, do you ever feel like you don’t have all the answers?”
Twilight turned to the filly and responded, “Yes, I suppose I do feel that way a lot of the time. I think that’s why I spend so much of my time studying.”
“Well, even though I know the reason why she’s so sad, I don’t understand why. To me, it’s not that big of a deal, which makes me wonder why it’s such a big deal to her. I may not understand it exactly, but I do know that she is suffering from a lot of stress and depression right now, and that’s why I figured I needed somepony who was able to understand what she’s going through more.” Sweetie Belle paused for a second before continuing. “And I don’t mean that you have the same problem as her, I was just thinking that maybe you’d be able to help her through the problem better than any other pony that’s available.”
“And that confirms that you’re definitely a good friend to her,” Twilight beamed brighter than the sun behind her. “I want you to know you’re doing the right thing, and whatever it is, I know that I will try my hardest to help her. For her, you, and- wait, does Scootaloo know about any of this?”
Sweetie Belle shook her head. “As far as I can tell I’m the only pony she’s told, although I think Scootaloo has at least noticed a little bit.”
“Would you say she would be reluctant to open up to me?”
“I hate to say it, but you may have a little bit of work to do, I’m sorry.”
Twilight shook off the apology with a hoof wave. “It’s nothing to be sorry about. Fillies and colts, and even mares and stallions sometimes, often have a hard time coming out of their shells when they need to share their feelings. Trust me, everypony will do it at one point or another.”
“Okay,” Sweetie Belle nodded, but then a thought came to her. “Uh, Twilight? Does my sister ever try hiding her feelings like that?”
Twilight giggled a little bit before answering, “Not really. She’s more of an open book if you know what I mean.”
“Indeed I do darling,” Sweetie Belle said with an almost perfect imitation of her sister. The two laughed together as they got closer to the barn which was now in sight.
The joke had lightened the mood a lot, but now it tensed up again when they walked along the dirt road, mere hoofsteps away from the porch. Sweetie Belle and Twilight Sparkle both took a small breath in and then out before Twilight turned to her small friend.
“Ready Sweetie Belle?”
“Ready for anything,” Sweetie Belle declared, but on the inside, she wasn’t sure if that was one hundred percent true.
Twilight shot her friend one last smile before taking the lead up to the front door and knocking on it.
“I hope you know you’re doing the right thing,” Twilight reassured the filly one last time, taking some of the anxiety Sweetie felt and replacing it with an air of confidence, before the door swung open, revealing Applejack in her typical jovial mood, enhanced when she saw her friends.
“Oh, hey Twi! What brings you and Sweetie Belle here so late?”
