Beyond the Herd

by Impossible Numbers

First published

Why would an apple fall far from her tree? Just ask the butterfly.

Apple Bloom wants to grow up. She's sure she does. Surrounded by the family that founded a town, shaped it, and made it what it is today, she finds herself all the more invested in becoming a part of this legacy.

Yet as Apple Bloom's interest in the legacy grows, so does her interest in a pony who never had one.

After all, sometimes there's a good reason to step outside. To fly on your own. To look beyond the herd.

The Growing Puppy and the Lone Wolf

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No one had ever taught her this up-front, but Apple Bloom had learned by herself that an Apple pony was the soul of the herd.

It was Granny Smith who, by dint of being the oldest living founder of the town, had become the town itself. Everyone knew Granny Smith. Ponies had been born under her watchful eye, and they in turn had seen how she stomped over the turf, and sowed the air with laughter and tales, and grew ties and allies and friendships and names all across the streets of cottages like avenues between crops. Hardly anything happened in town, they said, that Granny Smith wouldn’t know about.

It was Big Mac who made their presence felt. Although he spoke little and expressed even less, he was seen in town most often. Anyone who needed a roof fixed or a huge package carted around had only to send a runner to the farm, and soon Big Mac’s bulk would come for them, always a reliable machine ready to serve the neighbours. With his strength and industry, the jobs were quickly completed.

And it was Applejack who stood as the Apple among Apples. Granny Smith may have founded the town and Big Mac may be the one who tended it, but it was Applejack who owned it. Her feats of derring-do and above-and-beyond heroism were just the crown: the robes, the chamber, the rest of the castle was made by her control over the flow of crops and food and favours and kicking power and years of sweat-and-soil experience. Not a pony in town didn’t see Applejack’s omnipresent face at some point in their week.

Ponyville knew the Apples. The Apples knew Ponyville.

Somewhere in all that, Apple Bloom went to school and ran around with her friends. But, over time, she found it harder and harder to overlook the Apple in her own name.

Not that she was tied to it. A name was just a name. She could do whatever she wanted. Besides, everyone knew Big Mac and Applejack would take over the farm once Granny could no longer do so. She herself was free.

Still… it didn’t hurt to make sure ponies knew she was around. Follow Granny Smith and maybe pick up a few bits of gossip here and there. Help out, sometimes, even if only by accompanying Big Mac and rummaging through the toolbox when he asked. And when no one was looking, try out her own mini rodeo course to see if she could pull off Applejack’s leaping technique.

That was the Apple way.

Her bones, her heart, her brain, her guts, her very soul were Apple. Became Apple. Listened more to the Apple chorus…


In short, it was nothing like the Fluttershy way.

Oh, Apple Bloom knew everyone else by now, or at least had written down their names somewhere for when she needed them. Ponyville ponies knew each other.

But Fluttershy… She lived just outside of town.

Apple Bloom wondered why. After all, the pegasus had nothing to fear. She was “getting more confident” these days. She could actually talk to ponies without fainting. That had to be a good thing, right?

But Fluttershy… She didn’t do much. She barely showed up in town, and even then, clearly only for the marketplace stalls. Just long enough to buy a few stalks of celery or some such rabbit food and then hurry back out.

Despite the reams of ponies she herself could get to know more easily, Apple Bloom found late-night, ponderous thoughts turning to Fluttershy. How could someone be neighbourly and not neighbourly at the same time?

But Fluttershy… The way Applejack went on about her at some family dinnertimes, the pegasus was no less a presence than the likes of Princess Twilight Sparkle, who had her own castle, and Rarity the unicorn, whose clothing empire conquered cities. Everyone had parties with Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash was a living legend. Add Applejack, and you had the great heroes of Ponyville.

But Fluttershy…?

So Apple Bloom paid her a visit once.

Well, twice, because the first time had been a bit awkward through the tiny gap in the door, and anyway, it had dawned on Apple Bloom that a random visit out of nowhere might bother someone’s schedule. Try again? The next afternoon, maybe?

So, by appointment, she got her audience with Fluttershy.

Not her first, by any means. Fluttershy had occasionally babysat her and her friends whenever, say, Rarity or Applejack were too busy to hold foals on the ends of leashes. Fluttershy rarely got much more exciting than a game of Silence.

Unless it involved monsters. Living right next to the Everfree Forest was not a good idea if monsters tended to be more than a pony could handle, but Fluttershy said she had no problems. Had shown more than once that she had no problems.

Had stared down a cockatrice, a creature with the deadliest stare in existence. Had in fact used the Stare. Such a Stare wholly earned its capital letter: Apple Bloom had never seen a monster so frightened before.

Anyway, that was back then. Back when Apple Bloom had been younger, and – as she now thought it – sillier, less mature, and in completely the wrong mindset.

She wouldn’t ask the obvious. Only dumb fillies spoke that directly and crassly. No, she’d circle round the point a bit. Be tactful.

“Get a lot of visitors?” That was what she asked.

“Oh, lots.” That was the answer. “Harry the Bear and Angel Bunny and –”

“No, no, pony visitors? See other ponies a lot?”

“Well… sometimes, Applejack. And… Pinkie Pie…”

Apple Bloom could see where this was going. “No, no, no! Like old schoolfriends, or family?”

Fluttershy sipped her tea calmly, as if caught out by the question but not wanting to be rude. “Uh… Well, not really.”

“No one?” Apple Bloom barely hid the astonishment in her voice.

But then again, she thought, why not? After all, Fluttershy’s only schoolfriend had been Rainbow Dash – everyone else had either made fun of her or ignored her – and Rainbow herself had been a bit back-and-forth there too. Too many forgotten birthdays, too much interest in racing and shouting trash talk at rivals, not enough focus on the little Fluttershy who, anyway, preferred to hide at the back of the class.

Apple Bloom said nothing. Hiding from others in overwhelming shame and embarrassment and mortifying horror. She’d known what that kind of childhood had been like. Especially with the likes of Diamond Tiara around.

“Family… Well…” Fluttershy admitted, “I did see my parents recently… Was it last month or the month before…?”

Apple Bloom almost choked. “A month? A month?

“Maybe two,” Fluttershy conceded.

“Are they ill?”

“No, of course not.”

“In hospital?”

“Don’t be silly.”

“Don’t you get along with ‘em?”

“We get along wonderfully. They’re always happy to see me, and Rainbow likes to visit too. She likes visiting them more than she likes visiting her own family. Sometimes, I wonder if –”

“But why only once a month?”

“Oh, it’s traditional.”

Apple Bloom tried to wrap her head around this. Cloudsdale, after all, wasn’t that far away, even if the city was made of clouds and tended to drift off on its own. Yet it was never hard to find. A pegasus should find her family there no problem.

She thought: Why wouldn’t someone visit more often if they loved their Mom and Dad? Don’t make sense.

Getting up and saying her goodbyes, she decided: Fluttershy was hiding something. Some pain or argument that she didn’t want to burden Apple Bloom with.

Apple Bloom puffed up her chest at the challenge. Why, she was an Apple pony, wasn’t she? No burden was too big for a true Apple pony to handle.

She thanked Fluttershy for the drink – some fizzy grape juice – and then left in a thoughtful mood.


Unfortunately, the week didn’t go as she’d hoped. Soon, Fluttershy flew clean out of her mind.

Chores.

Chores, chores, chores.

She thought, in secret: Thank you, Applejack, for all the chores…

Tidy this. Put this away. Clean your room for once.

“And what’s up with these old dresses?” Applejack fumed. “Ain’t it about time you threw them out? In fact, you can go through your wardrobe and get rid of anything that’s fallin’ apart. Oh, and after you’ve done that, Granny wants you to go back and fetch a fresh jar of honey. The one she got from Parcel Post had hard bits in it.”

Apple Bloom hesitated.

Then she thought, You’re a growin’ filly now. Start acting like it.

So of course Apple Bloom didn’t complain, because she was an Apple pony. Chores were no stranger to a true Apple.

Then… on her way downstairs…

“Oh, Half-Pint! You gettin’ the honey?” Granny Smith hollering.

“Yes, Granny, gettin’ your honey.”

“While you’re at it, you could get us some other good stuff too, only Ah forgot the first time around.”

“Yes, Granny. What would you like, Granny?”

“Er… let’s see… help me find the list first… Oh, yes! Cinnamon from the spice shop, baking stuffs – flour, wheatgerm, butter, you name it – from Sugar Cube Corner – the Cakes owe me for that pie Ah rustled up last week for Cup Cake’s grandpappy… Where was Ah? Got it! Give Rarity a holler for that scarf she said she was gonna 'spruce up'…”

Apple Bloom sighed.

“…and tell Aloe Ah can’t make it for my perm next week, Strudel’s after my be-hind over some family thingummyjig Ah was s’posed to attend – Post this letter for your cousin Braeburn, take this letter back to the mail office and give that darnswoggled Derpy the what-for, it’s the wrong bloomin’ address again! – Give the Sweet Acorn Orchards their hat delivery – The pearls to Chelsea Porcelain – The rook to Sand Trap, and tell him not to drop chess pieces in my own home every time he visits, the dope…”

Apple Bloom just nodded and went out. She didn’t complain. She was meant to be an Apple pony.

Somewhere in all that, about the streets of Ponyville, tottering under the weight of things she’d suddenly been called on to do – because Big Mac of course was already fixing Cheerilee’s cracked windows on the other side of town, because of course he wasn’t available, and of course Applejack already had to meet up with her hero friends for something she wouldn’t tell her own sister about!

Darn darn darny darn darn – “Oof!”

Apple Bloom bumped into a schoolfriend of her own. Dropped everything. Picked it all up hurriedly. Uttered a hasty: “Sorry! My bad! Sorry, sorry, sorry…”

Looked up. It was Diamond Tiara.

Not as bad a bully as she used to be, to be fair. Not, for instance, making a comment about Apple Bloom’s clumsiness. Or all the things she had to carry. Actually saying “sorry” back, even if only curtly.

But Apple Bloom couldn’t help noticing that Diamond Tiara had tons of things carried for her, by a pair of mansion servants. Whereas Apple Bloom struggled holding everything together herself.

“What are you doing?” Diamond Tiara peered at her suspiciously.

Apple Bloom could barely bring herself to grin. “Nothin’. Just stuff.”

“Well, if you’re not that busy –”

Here, Diamond Tiara did, with her glance at the teetering pile of stuff, what she previously would have managed with a long bullying speech.

“– then how about coming over to my soiree tomorrow evening? I’ve invited all my classmates, and Daddy’s inviting the Mayor of Ponyville and a lot of other Very Important Ponies. Friends can come… if they want, that is. Oh, and if they can make it.”

The tiniest bit of envy struggled in Apple Bloom’s chest. “That’s very generous of you, Diamond Tiara.”

“It is, isn’t it? Well, I’d like it if you came too. I’ve got the works. The works! There’s going to be imported Cherry Jubilee cherry cakes, Daddy’s hired Mulia Mild herself for the main catering, and I’ve hired the Method Mares of Manehattan to put on a private performance, just for the one night. Who knows? Maybe you’ll enjoy it.”

“Thanks,” growled Apple Bloom, “but no thanks! Ah got more important things to do! Some of us have responsibilities.

Diamond Tiara had looked utterly shocked.

And then Apple Bloom hurried off before she said something ruder.

Like she wanted to go to some fancy-schmancy party that she could never afford anyway. Apple ponies didn’t need to spend bits and show off to make a point. Why couldn’t Diamond Tiara just butt out and stop making fun… of… her…?

It was only later on that she realized Diamond Tiara hadn’t actually said anything bad. Just the invite and the hope friends would come. The last few minutes of silent, subtle bullying had been all in Apple Bloom’s head.

By the time she considered going back, Diamond Tiara and her entourage had gone.

And now she had all day in her sea of chores to remember the confusion upsetting Diamond Tiara’s face.

Urgh! Apple Bloom hadn’t thought! She’d just seen Diamond Tiara, and hours plus years of stress had taken over. Gah! Why was this sort of thing so hard to keep straight? Why did all this social stuff get so complicated?

Day ruined.

Apple Bloom was an Apple pony. She didn’t complain.

She really, really wanted to.


It was a few days later when Fluttershy entered her thoughts again. The rest of the time, Apple Bloom hadn’t particularly wanted her as a challenge. Just keeping up with the chores of a “growin’ filly” was challenge enough.

In fact, the challenge today was raking up leaves. Sweet Apple Acres was a big farm. Even with Applejack and Big Mac raking them up as well, it would take days to clear the grass and soil of every last fleck of foliage.

Didn’t help that Winona ran around, stirring them up and smashing into the piles out of sheer doggy excitement.

Yay.

In the end, Applejack had to whistle to get Winona off the fields. She bustled her back to the barn, whistling all the way.

Lucky Winona, jumping around in good fun. Like a puppy. Like a younger filly.

Apple Bloom swept up more leaves. Now to rebuild that pile. Again.

Heard a rustle. Saw leaves fall down. Looked up.

Spotted Fluttershy lurking in the branches.

Normally, Apple Bloom wouldn’t comment. She knew the rules from Applejack. When Fluttershy was chasing down some critter, she could go wherever she liked. Wherever she was needed, Applejack had stressed. Given how unreasonable critters could be, everyone in town gave her this unspoken permit, especially if they tended gardens or had enough trouble holding on to food as it was. The other times they let her were a kind of reward for all her help. And a way to keep the weird pony happy.

Moodily, Apple Bloom watched her. She seemed to be looking for something among the branches.

Some ponies had all the luck.

A mean streak took over. Apple Bloom whistled sharply. Right underneath.

Suddenly, Fluttershy yelped and tumbled out of the branches. Only near the ground did she remember she had wings.

Not quite what Apple Bloom had been expecting.

She hurried forwards, saying “sorry” over and over, embarrassed, ashamed, mortified…

“It’s OK, it’s OK,” Fluttershy was saying as she got up. “If anything, I thought I’d have gotten over being startled by now, but I guess not.”

“Are you all right?”

“Of course. I’ve faced worse than that. Anyway, no one was hurt. It was only an accident.”

Apple Bloom hastily covered her face in case she started blushing.

To her surprise, Fluttershy responded with her own embarrassment and shame and mortification. “Oh, I’m terribly sorry. I wasn’t thinking. Are you all right, Apple Bloom? Anything I can do for you?”

Fluttershy sounded so sincere. Apple Bloom had to turn away and hurry back to her leaves. “No, thanks. Nothin’. Ah’m fine.”

“You’re absolutely sure?”

“Positive!”

Thus, all satisfied smiles, Fluttershy wended her wings back to the branches.

That was Fluttershy all right. Hiding out of the sunshine – Apple Bloom sweated, chafed, and didn’t feel ready to comment about that – and out of sight, if at all possible. Which was odd, because she was sweet enough when she finally came out from under both. If she was a bruised fruit inside, she’d gone to incredible lengths to hide it. You’d almost think she was just another fine apple…

Busy with her rake, Apple Bloom nevertheless sneaked little glimpses up at the treetops. Fluttershy was whistling like a bird.

“Lookin’ for something?” Apple Bloom asked before she could think.

“Looking for someone,” corrected Fluttershy.

“Whistlin’ after birds?”

“Just the one bird. Poor thing’s new here. My friend Robbie the Robin told me about a new mockingbird he heard in the dawn chorus this morning, so I thought I’d come and welcome them to Ponyville properly.”

Thereafter, Apple Bloom let her get on with it.

A new bird. Birds were just songs and blurs in Apple Bloom’s life. And Fluttershy’s response to them was a quieter version of Pinkie’s: seek them out, and make a big welcoming deal out of it. Except in a small way. Because this was Fluttershy here.

Anyone else might stop and gossip about it. Perhaps they had, when Fluttershy was new. Yet over time, whenever Fluttershy did stuff like this, no one batted an eyelid. Fluttershy greeting new birds wasn’t gossip material. It was just Fluttershy being Fluttershy. It’d be like gossiping about the “A” in “Apple”. To think that shy, weird pegasus had even been a popular model once…

Not for long. Apple Bloom hadn’t heard much, though there were probably some magazines somewhere in Ponyville. She’d seen some of the pictures, though. A few colts had brought them into school, and of course the fillies had taken an interest.

That was Fluttershy?

The mare on the page had looked more like Rarity. Carrying all kinds of dresses – saddle gowns, stirrup sashes, baroque barding, the works – and posing…

Well, posing like Fluttershy, to be honest. Half-hidden behind a mane. Crouched. Constantly apologizing in her eyes for taking up the camera’s time.

Anyone like Rarity would have boasted about it nonstop: Hey, remember when I was a model? Bet you thought I’d never be a model. Excuse me, my good mare, but are you aware of a little trifle i.e. my outrageously successful stint at modelhood?

Applejack had brought it up once or twice. Apple Bloom had heard her mention it at the table way back. Yet whenever any filly or mare brought it up in town, if Fluttershy was within earshot, then Fluttershy would firmly clamp her lips and refuse to talk until the subject changed. You could see a lot, when you were a filly no one paid much attention to.

Apple Bloom raked up more leaves. She could’ve been a model. She quite liked wearing dresses – Applejack had wanted her to get rid of so many – and posing didn’t seem that hard. Maybe she could go into it one day, try it out… and…

She slapped her forehead. The dresses! She’d clean forgotten! They were still in a heap at the bottom of her bed!

Oh no, oh no, oh no, Applejack’s gonna skin me alive…

Quickly, she zipped back indoors, grabbed the pile, fell over, grabbed the pile again securely, half-tottered and half-scurried down the stairs, past the laughing Granny Smith at the stove, through the steam, across the grass, hurried out before anyone stopped her to ask why she’d left it so late –

Skidded to a halt.

Had someone just said something?

A whisper.

Fluttershy, overhead.

“Oh my,” came the next whisper. “That’s a lovely bonnet.”

“Bonnet?”

“May I have it?”

Apple Bloom fought her way around the heap. “What, this old thing?”

“Yes, please.”

“But… it’s so…”

“Yes?”

Apple Bloom winced. The thing had been a phase. No one should wear a bonnet with flames embroidered into it, no matter how much Scootaloo insisted. She hadn’t lived down Diamond Tiara’s old giggles for weeks…

On the other hoof, Apple Bloom had to get rid of it. Who cared about the how?

So… “Yeah, sure. Sure.”

Fluttershy put it on almost immediately. “Ooh, like a baby phoenix. Such nice flame patterns…”

Apple Bloom hurried on, partly to get away from bad fashion sense in case it was catching. Well, that went some way to explaining why Fluttershy never stuck with her modelling career. She didn’t care about fashion. She just wore what seemed nice at the time, like a hermit crab-apple looking for a dropped fruit to use as a shell.

Thereafter, Apple Bloom hurried through her leaf-raking too. She didn’t want to be alone for long. Clearly, being alone did things to a mare.


Three days later, the timberwolf attacked.

Apple Bloom had been stuck in town at the time. Chores, chores, chores. Granny’s chores: go see Mr. Waddle and make sure the old fool’s taking his ointment. Big Mac’s chores: drop a batch of apples off at Sugar Cube Corner for Pinkie Pie, seein’ as he’d gone to help Filthy Rich with his guttering problem. Applejack’s chores: if you find a moment, ask Twilight about that anti-parasprite “band of defence” spell – the dratted things might miss Ponyville on their sweep this year, but ever since that first lot tasted apples, she weren’t takin’ no chances…

And so in the middle of juggling the spare ointment jar and mumbling Applejack’s orders while carting a little load of Bramley apples… that was when she heard the screaming.

Ponies stampeded past. Dust stirred up as they passed, leaving Apple Bloom coughing and spluttering. What in the world was goin’ on?

She stopped until the dust cleared.

Which was just as well.

A few feet away, the timberwolf growled at her.

Timberwolf… half wolf, half logs and leaves, all 100% death in a bad mood.

She’d never seen one up close before. The things stayed in the forest. Normally, the worst was during zap apple season, when the zap apple trees began to blossom, and glowing green eyes started showing up beyond the fences. Howls punctured the night. Legs shot through the shadows.

This one hadn’t bothered with tradition.

Its eyes. Apple Bloom wouldn’t forget those eyes if she had a hundred years to get over the nightmares.

Which she hadn’t.

By the time she even thought about struggling out of her own harness, the timberwolf… leaped.

She just had time to crouch and cover her eyes…

Then to notice she wasn’t being eaten alive. Her skin was remarkably un-savaged. Her patting hooves checked she was still in one piece. She looked up.

Crunch! Crash! Smash!

Of its own accord, the timberwolf bit chunks out of the cart. Apples pummelled each other running onto the grass. The hardened oak jaws chewed and cracked until bits of timber tumbled down the hole of its log throat. Curious paws ripped off chippings; a leaf tongue lapped them up like a dog eating sugar.

A howl rent the sky.

Both Apple Bloom and the timberwolf looked up.

Fluttershy, standing nearby.

Growling, the timberwolf rounded on her, paws raised and ready to leap. The growl roughed up its neck. The hatred narrowed in its eyes.

She howled again. Apple Bloom got chills down her neck. What in tarnation was she doin’?

Then, to her surprise, the timberwolf howled back.

Fluttershy pawed the ground. The timberwolf pawed back.

Apple Bloom held her breath. Any second now… there was no doubt… the look on Fluttershy’s face…

The Stare.

Then, even more to Apple Bloom’s surprise, the timberwolf yelped, spun round, and coughed up every chunk of wood in a hideous, hacking pile of tumbling bits.

Only then did it whine at Apple Bloom like a puppy, pass one horrified glance at Fluttershy, and scarper. Apple Bloom heard its pawsteps die away.

The Stare… vanished.

Apple Bloom shivered.

And just like that, Fluttershy came back to her body and the Stare was just a demon exorcised once it was no longer needed. “Apple Bloom! Are you OK? He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

Not daring to upset her, Apple Bloom quickly answered. “Ah’m fine! Ah’m OK! Ah wasn’t hurt! Nothin’ happened!”

She’d been close enough to smell its breath. When it came to timberwolves, that was a part of the experience the nose was unlikely to forget in a hurry. The smell had been the stuff nightmares were made of.

Only then did she notice Fluttershy still wore the fiery bonnet.

That did it. It was hard to be terrified of a mare wearing a baby’s idea of cool flames. Apple Bloom sighed, and relaxed against the restraints of the cart.

Wait. The cart?

“The cart!”

Ruined. Too many chunks lay on the grass.

Something in Apple Bloom… snapped.

No no no!” she wailed. “Nooooo! Applejack is gonna be so mad! Why!? Why didn’t Ah think better? Why didn’t Ah plan for stuff like this?”

Everyone knew monsters sometimes wandered out of the forest and into town. Everyone. But she was an Apple pony. She should have known better. Done better. Handled it better. Been a hero. She knew it! And what had she done? Nothing!

"A real Apple pony woulda planned for that! Applejack always does, right down to the little things! She could handle the three heads of a chimera! All at once!” She rounded on Fluttershy who blinked in surprise. "And Ah bet you could do that easy! Without tryin’! You’re like a walking plan all by yourself! You ain’t even an Apple! Ah am! Me!”

That breath! Those eyes! That look on the timberwolf’s face…

”And now the cart’s a wreck, and Ah dropped the ointment, and… and Ah… and…”

The gentle squeeze around her shoulders, the comforting forelimb cushioning her neck, and the slight soothing hush tickling her ear, all snapped her back to the here and now. She was supposed to be a growing filly. She hastily pushed Fluttershy away. She started hyperventilating.

When Fluttershy came back and patted her gently to stop, she didn’t push her away again.

“Nuts to being a growin’ filly! Nuts to all these chores! Nuts to this stupid cart! And nuts to bein’ an Apple! Ah don’t wanna be an Apple! Ah just wanna be me!

Somehow, despite the timberwolf’s fangs and the Stare, the most terrifying moment was when Fluttershy invited her to tea.

“WHAT!?” yelped Apple Bloom.

“Come on.” Fluttershy’s limb around her shoulders insisted. “Leave the cart for later. It’s not as important as ponies.”

“This is Fluttershy talkin’? Fluttershy? You spend more time with birds than with ponies!

Apple Bloom’s brief panic over the cart gave way. She had nothing. No objections. No cares. No will of her own.

She just said, “OK.”

And that was it. Bewildered, she was led by the hoof gently away from the cart, and out of town, and out of a life that suddenly seemed very, very fake.


Turned out the timberwolf was a lone wolf.

That was as much sense as Apple Bloom caught, amid the lived-in warmth of the cottage and the sofa and the drink and the constant flitting birds of words that flew from Fluttershy’s lips and settled with such trust on Apple Bloom that she didn’t want to disturb them in the slightest.

“I’m so sorry about that,” Fluttershy said once she sat down next to her. At least she had taken off that ugly bonnet now and wore instead a face full of concern. “I should have been paying more attention, but there were so many animal friends asking for so much, I didn’t even notice.”

“Huh?” Apple Bloom woke up briefly.

“Drink up, drink up. You need your strength back.”

“No, Ah don’t. Tough as an earth pony, remember?”

Sidelong, Fluttershy’s look was the most grown-up look Apple Bloom had ever seen on any face, including Granny’s. She did what she was told.

Besides, she liked the grape juice. Berry Punch would’ve pulped the hoof-picked grapes under her own hooves, and Berry Punch could mix and pour for Equestria. Apple Bloom remembered that from Applejack, and from her own brief shots of heaven whenever she crossed paths with the beverage master herself. Some of the nerves settled down. A connection. Something to grasp. Something that made sense.

Fluttershy glumly wiped a few feathers and hairs off the sofa. Then she explained.

As far as Apple Bloom understood it, the timberwolf – Brown Fang – had gotten into a row with his pack. Common enough among timberwolves, apparently: Fluttershy heard the howls from the forest near her home, and her bird friends were as good as a postal service in her animal world, with the added bonus of not wasting any paper when her living memory flew and chirped all over the treetops.

This time, the row had been especially heated. Normally, Timberwolves stayed away from ponies, not out of fear, but because they rarely had anything of interest. Wood? Timberwolves could get that in a forest, duh. Meat? Who cared? It didn’t nourish a timber-wolf. Territory? Ponies stayed away from the forest, so apart from the odd wanderer, there was no point chasing them into theirs. Timberwolves respected territorial boundaries, even the ones made by fleshy herbivores that ate… for weird reasons… eggs and milk and other sickly secretions.

Brown Fang wanted to try something different. He’d eaten bird eggs, once, quite by accident – that was how the sad news befell Fluttershy, comforting a weeping mother blue jay – and had to his own surprise liked the flavour. He’d started eating ones in the forest, then when that inevitably got harder as the birds spread the gossip, he’d turned his attention to Fluttershy’s chicken coop.

That had crossed a line. Timberwolves didn’t fear Fluttershy, either. But word got around in the forest. The yellow pony who could howl with the wolves was a special case. They paid her a limited but certain amount of respect.

Fluttershy had stumbled across him, and to her own shame reacted badly. Had brought out the Stare.

He’d almost smashed himself against tree trunks trying to get away.

The last few days, things had gotten worse. Brown Fang’s pack hadn’t liked his stunt. Ponies might start to wonder if ridding the forest of anything wooden was a good thing. It happened often enough in other places, and packs howled the news across vast acres to warn others not to trifle with torches and trained dogs. Nothing much could kill a timberwolf, but plenty of things could make an unlucky wolf wish it could.

And one thing had led to another, and Brown Fang had gotten angry and fled. Run right into town. Raided Sugar Cube Corner for eggs. Gotten confused. Felt hungry. Seen a cart. Wanted wood. Eggs, it turned out, didn’t stop him feeling hungry. Wood. Wood was the thing…

Apple Bloom listened in silence as Fluttershy whispered the whole story.

It sounded… Well, it sounded like something between families in Ponyville. It was just a family row. Swap out the wolves for ponies and eggs for… toys? Clothes? Fashion style? Money? At the end of the day, just a family row.

Which not too long ago, had been on the other side of a mouthful of fangs. A foul breath… made worse by the smell of eggs, she realized. The ruins of her little cart, and how was she supposed to explain that to Applejack?

Fluttershy brought her back to the present. Straightened her bow – Apple Bloom hadn’t even noticed the thing unravelling. Everything had felt so tight in the terror.

Despite herself, Apple Bloom had to distract herself and just had to ask…

“So… what about Brown Fang?”

“Hm?”

“Where’s he gonna go now?”

“He’s staying away. For now.”

“What, from his family?”

“Yes.”

“What!? Forever?”

“Not forever. Just long enough. I think he needs time to think about things. Some ponies do. Why not lone wolves?”

Time to think about things…

Apple Bloom frowned and swilled her drink. That was like something Applejack had said once, when Diamond Tiara had sworn off her bullying, but when the prissy prima donna hadn’t taken part in class either.

Wincing, Apple Bloom gulped the grape juice. Diamond Tiara: now there was someone she’d been avoiding lately, and avoiding so much that she’d become an obsession.

Maybe Diamond Tiara simply needed time to think about things too? Like Applejack had said once, during that awkward time when Diamond Tiara had not exactly been a bully but not exactly been a friend either. Had spent a lot of time keeping her distance, not playing their games, not speaking out in class, not doing anything to draw attention to herself despite the fact she squirmed and gagged herself and fumed and so clearly wanted to dive in…

Apple Bloom had told Applejack after school, when Diamond Tiara had ignored every request Apple Bloom had made to meet up with friends, you know, with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo and Silver Spoon, in fact Silver Spoon’s really lovin’ it, we’ve done so much together…

And Diamond Tiara had harrumphed and moved off.

Hence the telling.

Just give her time by herself, Applejack had insisted.

But she shouldn’t be by herself! Apple Bloom had cried out. Ah just hoped she’d stop pickin’ on us. Ah didn’t want her to get so lonely.

No, Apple Bloom, you don’t understand. She ain’t bein’ lonely. She’s just… somewhere else, kinda. Like how family are still family even if they’re not under the same roof.

But…

It’s the spirit of the thing, see? Bodies don’t have to be close, so long as the spirit already is.

Apple Bloom thought she’d understood. Had spent the months since then assuming she understood. Now it turned out she’d just swallowed the words like a good little filly, but hadn’t thought about what they’d meant. As soon as Diamond Tiara had started talking to them again, that was that. No mystery to solve. Obviously, it was just a matter of waiting for Diamond to get out of her funk…

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!

Now she watched Fluttershy sip her tea. It was always tea, Apple Bloom noticed. The same old thing over and over.

“Fluttershy?”

“Hm?” Looking up instantly. Alert. Ready. Eager.

Apple Bloom wondered how best to step around the awkwardness as tactfully as possible… then said nuts to it and dove in.

“How come you don’t see the family much?”

“You mean Brown Fang’s family?”

“No, no, your family. Ah just don’t get why you’d stay away from your own Mom and Dad… Ah mean, Ah wouldn’t, if Ah could.”

Fluttershy just sipped her tea for a long time. In the dark of her own mind, Apple Bloom cursed herself. Why did she have to put it that way? Now she knew Fluttershy had been offended. She’d clam up, she’d go all silent, and then Apple Bloom would have to say sorry for what felt like the umpteenth time in her clumsy life –

Fluttershy’s reply, when it came, was unexpected.

“Well, it’s for the same reason. They’re always there, even if they’re not around.”

Apple Bloom instantly opened her mouth to ask which Mom and Dad – Then a flash of wisdom washed over her, and the question vanished.

Another ancient, sidelong look from Fluttershy, but closer to Mother Earth than to anything more cynical. “I know it seems strange to some ponies, but we’re really very happy. They like other ponies, I like animals. They always wanted to raise a family. I just like doing my part for my friends.”

“Uh. Right?”

“But we have things in common too. We like Rainbow Dash coming to visit. We like having a quiet evening to ourselves after a busy day. We like not arguing. When I said I wanted to move to Ponyville, we were all very sad at first, but we talked quietly over tea and worked something out, and it’s worked for us ever since.”

Apple Bloom put down her cup. This wasn’t something she could swallow in one go. “What about… you know, being a Shy?”

“Hm?”

“Sorry, that sounded less dumb in my head… Ah mean, being a Shy? Doin’ stuff your family’s s’posed to do? Community and chores and duties and hero-ing and things like that?”

Fluttershy got up to refill her tea. She brought back some cookies. Apple Bloom didn’t need telling twice; it was as if the crunch of cookies helped churn up her thoughts to better get at the truth.

“Like… working in the Cloudsdale weather factory?”

“Yeah!” Apple Bloom seized on the suggestion with relief.

“Lots of pegasus ponies do that. Someone has to. Otherwise, there’d be no weather for anyone.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know if I have to, though. I never really wanted to. Clouds and rainbows are nice. I’m happy if a pony likes working with them. Goodness knows I want ponies to do what they want.”

“Yeah…”

“But even if their job should be done, a pony should like it too. Liking things is more important. Except when it happens to be a very important job. Then it isn’t.”

Apple Bloom ran out of yeahs.

Opposite her Fluttershy blushed. “Oh my, it’s a tough one, isn’t it?”

With feeling, Apple Bloom responded: “Eeyup.

Fluttershy dipped a cookie in her tea. She seemed to be buying herself more thinking time.

“I don’t know if I’m the best pony to solve that problem,” she said apologetically. “Whenever Equestria needs heroes, I never want to do that. But I have to. Imagine if my friends didn’t do it, either. Imagine if Applejack didn’t.”

“Never gonna happen! Applejack would never say no! Never! Not in a million years!”

Smiling grimly, Fluttershy slid the mushy cookie into her mouth. She never crunched. She just softened things up and helped them go down as easily as possible.

“On the other hoof…” Fluttershy watched the ceiling.

It was like Applejack during a Talk with a capital T. Apple Bloom recognized the signs and waited, however impatiently. She squirmed on her seat.

“On the other hoof… I don’t believe a pony should go out of their way to be miserable either. Maybe you could talk to Applejack? Explain how you’re feeling? I don’t think it’ll solve everything, but it’d be a start. You could talk to each other about what you will and won’t do. Everyone has the right to enjoy a pleasant life.”

“OK…?”

Apple Bloom spent a few uncomfortable seconds wondering how that talk would go. Like she was a total failure. That’s how it would go. The disappointment, the bruised pride, yet another reason why the kid shouldn’t be trusted with serious stuff.

Then Fluttershy smiled. “And you can always come and see me. I’d be happy to give you somewhere peaceful to be yourself.”

“What do you mean to be myself?” In all these months, Apple Bloom hadn’t once considered a space for herself. There were too many other ponies to fill up her life. “You mean to talk? About stuff?”

“If you want to,” said Fluttershy, with not a trace of grit in her silk smooth voice. “I like talking to you. Sometimes, I wish I had your determination when I was a filly. I nearly fainted telling my parents what I really wanted to do with my life, but you just go out and do it and they see your passion. I’m very impressed.”

In all these months, Apple Bloom had never heard any praise either. Yet a few minutes with Fluttershy, and she felt vindicated a thousand times over. Feeling pride over what she’d done, instead of forcing herself not to complain about it.

It was almost like having a Mom. Well, the sweet kind, not the bossy, slightly hassled kind that Applejack could slip into. The kind she missed.

Apple Bloom asked, “Can Ah come over again?”

“Whenever you like. Animals don’t keep schedules, at least not ones fixed on a calendar grid. Tomorrow evening? No, better the evening after, once I’ve done the shopping for Angel Bunny. I could arrange something by then.”

“All right. Deal.”

Long after the warmth and the sweet voice and the peace had melted away, Apple Bloom didn’t even remember the cart or the timberwolf until she was well on her way home. Especially when she got through the front door and was immediately in the middle of a three-way hug.

Applejack. Granny Smith. Big Mac. All three voices swooped down on her at once.

No one even mentioned the cart. Just Apple Bloom, thank goodness Apple Bloom, over and over.


Another day dawned.

Apple Bloom had spent so many months breathing in, holding her breath, that it was a relief to finally breathe out again.

Last night. She had talked. They had talked. It had taken a while.

Of course they didn’t mind! Granny Smith was surprised. What with one thing and another, she hadn’t the foggiest that Apple Bloom was getting more and more chores than usual. She’d take a few back gladly. If anything, Granny needed to get out the house more. She weren’t dead yet!

Big Mac hadn’t said much. He didn’t need to say much. She knew he’d listened and chewed and digested everything and starting tomorrow would keep to a new unspoken agreement. Big Mac didn’t say whether he was proud or ashamed of the workload Apple Bloom had taken on. And he took care of the whole broken cart issue without once complaining about it or excusing it.

Applejack… Applejack was a mite more complicated.

Being honest.

Push come to shove, she had liked seein’ her little Apple Bloom all grown up. Takin’ some of the load. Becomin’ an Apple. Gettin’ to know and owe the community so much. That had made her so proud.

“But Ah wanted you to do it of your own free will. Not feelin’ forced. None of this ‘Apple pony’ nonsense –”

“But you just said –”

“Ah know what Ah said. It slipped out. It’s always slipped out, without thinkin’. Ah can think for once.”

“You’re not mad?”

As soon as Apple Bloom had asked, she’d gotten her answer faster than speech: No. Of course not. Applejack was a lot of other squirming, uncomfortable things, but “mad” was not one of them.

Apple Bloom let her go. She didn’t blame Applejack for struggling to say what she thought. It was what she’d been thinking herself.

Thus the next day started.

Granny Smith went to check on Burnt Oak – she hadn’t heard from the old woodcutter in a dog’s age. Big Mac stayed to fix the leak in the roof. Applejack practised some more for the upcoming rodeo, and Apple Bloom didn’t mind pushing the haybales and erecting the fences for a bit. Watching her sister in peak performance was payment enough.

Eventually, reality rung the school bell. Breakfast was a hurried couple of omelettes Apple Bloom dripped in her hurry to get to Cheerilee’s class on time.

And to crash into someone.

Yet again, the “Sorry! Sorry!” rushed to Apple Bloom’s mouth, and part of her wondered if Fluttershy felt like this every day.

She stopped quickly. The worst had happened: the other pony was Diamond Tiara.

Diamond Tiara fumed.

Fizzed.

Exploded.

There followed a full minute of Apple Bloom getting the snide comments about the dumb hick crashing into things like a big galumphing rodeo clown, didn’t she watch where she was going, as if it wasn’t insulting enough getting the cold shoulder, after all the hard work and money she’d put into that party, not that you care, with your super-special family lording it over everyone, making friends all over the place…

Apple Bloom let her rush it out. It was the first time in weeks she’d seen Diamond Tiara look certain about anything. Weeks to break out of the bully shadow and say what the hay, I’m gonna be rude for once!

Diamond Tiara wasn’t the sort to cry, at least not while others were watching. She was too proud for that. Seemed to Apple Bloom that pride had a lot to answer for lately.

Once Diamond Tiara either finished or paused to rally the next round of rage, Apple Bloom said what needed to be said.

It took a while.

At the finish, Diamond Tiara still looked suspicious.

“All those chores?” she said.

“All them chores. Every last one.”

You?

“Yeah.”

“I thought you had Applejack and the others doing that for you?”

“Ah wanted to do it myself, see?”

“Why?”

Apple Bloom had an answer for that. It just didn’t want to come up on stage and speak. The poor thing had seen who was in the audience.

Diamond Tiara grabbed a step forwards. “So all that makes it OK to insult me, does it?”

Apple Bloom grimaced. She mumbled, “No. It don’t.”

She could see Diamond Tiara’s face struggle to think where to go from there. Her rage was still looking for an excuse. It had been a lot of weeks.

“Ain’t there anything Ah can do to make it up to you?” said Apple Bloom.

Diamond Tiara glared at her, but the fire was running out of fuel. “Well… I guess there’s no need, since it’s not like I ordered you to come or anything. Technically, you didn’t have to come. I guess.”

Rage found new wood to burn.

“But if you ever talk to me like you did again, Daddy will hear about it, got it?”

“Ah get it, Ah get it. Ah shouldn’t have taken it out on you. That weren’t neighbourly of me.”

Diamond Tiara inspected her face to check the jewel wasn’t fake. Then she held out a business hoof.

“Promise you won’t do it again, got it?”

Apple Bloom wondered if Diamond Tiara spent too much time watching her parents. Picking things up. Trying to learn how to be a good Rich pony.

She almost spit on her own hoof, but common sense and a desire not to die told her that would not curry favour with the daughter of a successful business stallion. So she just met dry hoof with dry hoof.

“We’re still friends, right?” Apple Bloom couldn’t help herself. “Ah don’t want you to think Ah don’t want to be your friend or anything. This was all on me. Not you.”

Diamond Tiara failed to stop anything poking out of her face. Instead, she just lit another bit of anger and waved it about distractingly.

“Of course I knew that! Just don’t shout at me again.” Eventually, Diamond Tiara’s act dropped. Pure worry. “That’s how this sort of thing normally goes, right?”

Puzzled, Apple Bloom said, “How what normally goes?”

“You know… making up and forgiving and so on.”

“Uh… of course. Ah’d be a bit less angry about it though. Not that you ain’t got a right to be angry! Course you do! It’s just a little… well, scary.”

“Scary?”

“Only a little scary. Not very scary at all, actually. Ah just happen to be one of those rare ponies who scares easily. Ignore me! Ah don’t count!” Apple Bloom coughed to block more words, and so badly wished her embarrassment, shame, and mortification would just stop already.

Despite her own tangled idiocy, she wondered how many foals Diamond Tiara considered friends. Friendship wasn’t something that came naturally to a rich daughter who’d impressed, intimidated, and insulted her way to the top, only to find it was awfully cold up there. Even her parents didn’t approve of her methods, if only because they were so blatant: she’d grow up to take the business, and so far Barnyard Bargains had managed to hide its less appealing social aspects quite carefully.

Did she have to take the business, though? Didn’t she get a choice?

Maybe if she was showed one?

Apple Bloom decided. “Hey, why don’t you come over and visit me sometime?”

Me? Visit you?

“Ah could invite you over for a party after next weekend? Just a small one. Kind of a family matter – just me and Applejack and Granny Smith and Big Mac – but we could always say yes to one more.”

Apple Bloom had just made it up on the spot. The Apples usually had a night to themselves on the weekend. Still, she was sure she could explain it to them ahead of time. It’d only be the one, and once she explained to them all about Diamond Tiara…

“After you turned me down, you expect me to just –”

“It’s just an offer. Ah won’t hold it against you if you say no. How can Ah? And you can tell us what you want ahead of time so we know what kind of things you like. That’s fair and square, right?”

Diamond Tiara slipped, very expertly, from general haughty anger to a reluctant peevishness. It was good acting.

“The food had better be good,” was all she said.

And going into class, Apple Bloom couldn’t help smiling behind Diamond Tiara’s back. Such obvious acting. Everyone in Ponyville knew the Apples made the best food.


This was another step on the road of Apple Bloom’s life. A sidestep, true. But a step nonetheless.

In mid-air.

On Fluttershy’s back, she held on tight. Then after a while, she realized she didn’t need to. Riding on a pegasus was no stranger to her, but Rainbow Dash tended to dislodge passengers against the wind. Whereas Fluttershy drifted calm as a cloud.

Plenty of time to take in the forest below. Hear the birdsong – a big mass of tweets and twisting whistles. At first. Apple Bloom listened, and could make out a few unique voices. Put characters to them, as if that thrush’s song was Applejack’s, and that bossy bunting’s was Twilight’s, and the refined singalong splutter was Rarity as a nightingale…

Then her ears lost the sounds, and the mass of chorus left her stranded.

“Be patient,” Fluttershy whispered. “It’ll make sense in time. Not everyone can do this.”

“Ah don’t think Ah’ll be takin’ your job any day now, Fluttershy.”

“Heehee! That’s good to know.”

From the forest below, a howl broke out.

Apple Bloom hesitated. It had seemed like a good idea when she’d discussed it over drinks. After all, she vaguely felt she owed it to Fluttershy. Should give back to someone who’d given her so much. Besides, her cutie mark crusading instincts and childlike interest teamed up to make her curious. And Applejack always said it was a good thing to walk a mile in another pony’s horseshoes, even though Apple Bloom was actually flying and by this point was definitely more than a mile from the cottage.

Still, she hesitated. As much as she’d wanted to try this stunt back in Fluttershy’s cottage, out here it seemed reckless. Wild, as the trees and their vines were. Dangerous, as anything lurking below.

To her surprise, it didn’t seem to matter anymore. Fluttershy was here. Fluttershy had been a part of her life for a fair few weeks already, and it was hard to imagine a time when she hadn’t been. Apple Bloom had grown bolder. Had wanted to try anything.

Right now? Anything but this.

Fluttershy flew through the canopy and took her time landing on this stretch of shrivelled ground. Leaf litter stirred under her gentle wings. The forest otherwise barely noticed her. It got on with the murky business of looming in knife shadows and dead green.

Another howl, very far away.

Before Apple Bloom prepared herself, Fluttershy howled back, echoing against the trunks in their grove. Distant howls broke out in reply.

A pair of green eyes peered out of the murk.

Apple Bloom clung tightly, sliding very slowly down Fluttershy’s side. “Is that him? Is that Brown Fang?”

Fluttershy’s ears rose. So did the timberwolf’s.

After a staring contest that left Apple Bloom sliding her hooves onto the dirt, Fluttershy said: “That’s him.”

“Brown Fang?”

“Yes.”

Making Apple Bloom jump, Fluttershy howled, less noisily than before. The timberwolf howled back, somehow weak and modest.

“What did he say? What did he say?”

“Not much. He’s only been allowed back in this patch recently. His family haven’t accepted him back into the den yet.”

“But they will with time? Right?”

“Of course,” said Fluttershy, her cup always full of faith. “Until then, it always helps to hear from a good friend.” She turned to Apple Bloom. “Did you want to try now?”

“You mean before Ah change my mind? Heh.”

“All right. Just remember, I’m right here.”

The timberwolf’s gangrenous glow watched Apple Bloom as she cleared her throat. To make sure, she waved at him. Situation being what it was, she waved nervously, and slowly so as not to startle him.

She tried a howl.

Very self-conscious. Very embarrassed. Very much wondering what the hay Applejack would think if she could see her now. If anyone could see her now. She’d look so darn stupid.

The timberwolf backed off – to her surprise – uncertainly.

She tried again.

After a few more weak attempts, she broke off to catch some air. Fluttershy patted her on the back.

“Very good work, Apple Bloom. That’s an amazing start. I bet you will take over my job before the month is done.”

Sheepishly, Apple Bloom gave her the job back today. The howling conversation went on for about five or six turns. It seemed an awful lot could be said in one go.

Then that seemed to be it. Panting – less like a sanded down wolf and more like a very ugly dog – Brown Fang barked and turned and rushed off, the crashing of leaves vanishing almost instantly.

Apple Bloom tried not to think about what she’d just done too much, but a bit of pride earned its way back in her chest. One step, an odd step, and not much of a step. It was still her own step.

For Apple Bloom had learned over and over that a pony was just a pony. She could only be herself. Be yourself. And so on and so on. A fair few ponies had taught her that one up-front.

That evening, they had a lovely chat over muffins and talked about how Diamond Tiara and the new mockingbird were getting on, just for a change of pace. She stayed a little longer than usual. At the end of the day, it was Fluttershy who had shown her there was more than one way to be herself.