> 5 Times Sunset Spilled Her Heart Out To Her Journal > by LunaEclipsed15 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Homesick > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sunset was laying on a picnic blanket in the park, staring up at the clouds. It was a bright and sunny day and the clouds were especially fluffy, perfect for cloud watching. Sunset wasn’t alone, however. She was joined by her friends, who were also sprawled out all around her, watching the clouds slowly move by. It was nice, Sunset decided, being surrounded by people that didn’t hate her. Slowly, Sunset rolled over to her backpack and pulled out a thin journal. It was a dark red color with gold bindings. She grabbed the black pen she kept in her backpack as well.  Slowly, Sunset flipped to a page and began to write. October 18th. Surprisingly it isn’t too cold out today, which is unusual for autumn. I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised considering I’m living in a world where everyone walks around on two feet and uses hands instead of magic. Home. I think about it a lot.  Do I miss Equestria? Yeah, 1000%. I miss galloping through the grassy fields of Canterlot and enjoying daisy sandwiches and hay burgers on warm summer afternoons. I miss studying magic, I miss having talent that others could only dream of. I miss being loved. Maybe loved isn’t the right word. Maybe protected is. Beyond the royal guards and the high security that surrounded the Canterlot Castle, I miss having someone to look after me. Really, I guess I just miss Princess Celestia. They say “home is where the heart is” but I don't feel like my heart is anywhere. My heart used to be in magic, in my studies, but I became bitter and gave that up in a minute. Now I don’t know where my heart belongs. Is it with my friends? I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder if they are just using me as a charity project for Princess Twilight. It certainly feels like they are at times. I have no family in this world, and even back home I was never close to my parents or brother. Princess Celestia was all I had, and I let my dreams get the better of me, and now here I am, still sad and alone. They say that I’m not alone, that I have them, but I’m not sure if I can believe it.  I don’t know. I’m still so new to friendship, maybe I just need time to adjust. I’m trying, I really am, but it’s hard. It;s hard to keep going when everyone hates me, it’s hard to keep going when I have no real place to live and struggle to survive pretty much daily, it’s hard to keep going when my friends do something together and don’t invite me. It’s really hard. But I know I can’t go home, no matter how hard it is. I commited treason! I would be put to death for sure. So for now, I just try to stay afloat as best I can, even when everything is too tough and there's nobody to help me. Why would they want to help me anyway? I mean, I tried to kill them, I tore them apart and only caused them grief and pain. If it wasn’t for Princess Twilight, there’s no way they would be sitting here with me now. I don’t want them to worry about me, but I fear that I am just a little too homesick. I miss Equestria and everything about it. Most days it’s hard to find anything good about this world to keep me going. I wish I could talk to them, I wish I could go home, I wish I hadn’t done the things I did. But I learned a long time ago that wishing gets you nowhere in life, so there really is no point anymore. Sunset Shimmer Sunset closed her journal, looking back up to the clouds. The girls were chatting aimlessly about what they look like, Pinkie insisting that everything looked like a dog. Sunset let a small smile fall onto her face. She was happy for them, she really was. She didn’t really remember what her motivation had been for tearing them apart, and she regretted it terribly. But she was happy that they had been able to work things out and make up. They really were good friends. “Hello? Earth to Sunset?” Sunset snapped out of her daze as a blue hand waved in front of her. “Oh yeah? Sorry, just kinda zoned out there.” Sunset shoved the journal and pen back in her backpack, looking up to see all the girls now focused on her. “What’s that?” Fluttershy asked, pointing at where she was zipping up her bag. “Nothing, just a journal.” Sunset shrugged. “Ah didn’t know ya journaled, Sunset.” Applejack said, leaning back on her elbows as she faced Sunset. Sunset shrugged again. “I dunno, I just started recently. Apparently it’s good for mental health, or something like that.” Sunset was mumbling, staring down at the ground. The rest of the girls nodded in agreement. They dropped the topic after that, going back to cloud gazing and talking amongst themselves. Sunset only said anything when she was spoken directly to. Otherwise she kept quiet. Silently, Sunset wished that they had inquired more about her journaling. Maybe they would want to try and help her. Sunset didn’t think she would be very opposed to that.  Alas, Sunset would just have to stick to pouring her feelings out in a shabby old book. She was fine. She didn’t need help. She would be okay, if she just kept smiling. > Regrets > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pinkie’s bedroom was bright and loud, and so insanely Pinkie it was almost physically painful. The girls had insisted on having a sleepover. They said that it was essential in truly experiencing friendship, or something like that. Pinkie was never one to let a party slip through her fingers, and so here Sunset sat, on the floor of Pinkie’s bedroom surrounded by sugary snacks and five girls who she had wronged the most. This whole thing, all of it, the friendship and the sleepover and all of it left a bad taste in Sunset’s mouth. She loved it, she really did. She loved having friends and not feeling so alone all the time, but with these girls, Sunset just felt uneasy.  She had hurt them terribly. They should be mad at her and never want to be friendly to her ever again. But here they were, insisting she come to their sleepover and enjoy herself rather than spend another cold night out in that old abandoned warehouse she called home. Of course, they didn’t know about her living conditions, and Sunset didn’t intend for them to find out, but it was the principle of the thing. Sunset was curled up in the corner by the window, watching everyone else around the room. Fluttershy was watching cat videos with Rarity. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were going head-to-head in a game of Extreme Heist Vehicle and Applejack had gone to pick up the pizza the girls had ordered. Everyone was happy and having a good time. Sunset sighed, reaching for her duffle bag to find her journal. November 1st, Today the girls are throwing a sleepover. Pinkie said I needed to learn what a real party was. I’ve been to parties in Equestria, and they are far from this. Everything was always clean and proper and very fancy, not chaotic and messy like Pinkie Pie’s bedroom floor as we all sit around in our pajamas. I still don’t know how we’re all friends. I hurt them all in countless ways, yet they still all want to be my friend.  I regret it all terribly. The sabotage, the bullying, the turning into a giant she-demon and trying to take over the world. Okay, so maybe one of those is not like the others but that doesn’t matter! I’m still sorry for it all the same! I wish people could see that I’m trying. When I try to help, everyone pushes me away. Sometimes I get lucky and they humor me, let me help them with whatever just to get some free labor. I really don’t mind it. I deserve it. But the girls, they’re always so nice and cheery and always talking about CHS’s latest trend or fail that went viral among the student body. I can never keep up. You know, for the first two weeks after the fall formal, I avoided them at all costs. I did everything I could to stay out of their way. But then what was just tnamecalling and mean remarks floating around the school about me turned into actual physical violence, and I flocked to the girls for safety. Call me a coward, call me weak, but I don’t care. Sure, I deserved it, but there’s only so many excuses I could use at the soup kitchen for why I had a black eye or a busted lip after school everyday. Now everyone has sorta just accepted that I’m not going to shove them into a locker or take their lunch money, but they still don’t like me. I honestly don’t blame them. Being a bully never made me feel good. It just made me feel lonely and sad. I never had anyone to talk to or to cheer me up when I was upset, which was almost always. I always felt disconnected from all the other students, having no group to fit in with and nobody who would even give me a chance. A lot of times, people at school ask me why I did it, why I became mean. I always give the same answer. “I wanted power in another world so I tried to take over this one.” While that’s a big part of it, the real reason is a lot more complex. You see, I wasn't a bully immediately upon coming to the human world. I started off as just a scared and lonely thirteen year old. I had nobody to look after me, nowhere to live and barely survived on the dropped pocket change I found on the sidewalks and the occasional wallet I could pickpocket.  I had to fake a lot of papers to get into CHS. I was able to pull it off though, Principal Celestia never looked at the documents too hard, or maybe she knew what was going on and just felt bad for me. After some negotiating and a heaping handful of well put together lies, I talked her into getting me into the free lunch program. That’s still what I live off to this day. I never really eat more than the salads and fruit I have at school. As a vegetarian, CHS doesn’t have a lot of options. No matter how hungry I am though I am not going to eat an animal that in my world is sentient.  I became a bully because it kept people from finding out too much about me. They only knew all I wanted them to know and that was it. They couldn’t find out about my situation, I would become the laughing stock of the school for sure. It didn’t matter though, I was just here to bide my time until I could go back to Equestria and take over. We all saw how that blew up in my face. I feel so bad for the way I treated everyone, especially Flash. He was just a nice guy who wanted to get to know me better and give me some sort of friend, and all I did was take advantage of and use him. I wish sometimes that i could take it all back, that I could find a way to make up for all I did to him, but I just don’t know how. I just hope that someday everyone I hurt cna forgive me, and that someday soon I can forgive myself. It hurts, to not be able to forgive yourself. To have to keep all the pain of that to yourself hurts even worse. But I shoulder it, because I deserve it, I really really do. No matter how much I try to make up for it, the demon and my actions will always hover over me, I just know it. But I hope it gets better, for everyone’s sake. - Sunset Shimmer Sunset set down her journal and looked up to the clock. She had been writing for almost fifteen minutes, surprisingly. It had only felt like five. She guessed she had just gotten lost in her words. The girls all heard Big Mac’s truck pulling into the Pinkie’s driveway as he returned with Applejack and their pizza. All the girls stopped what they were doing to listen to Applejack bid her brother a goodbye and walk up to the door, listening to the sounds of Big Mac’s truck tires squelching along the wet pavement as he pulled away. Pinkie ran to get the room for her friend, throwing down her controller and racing through the halls to the front door. She then came racing back after a few minutes. “Pizza’s here!” Her high pitched voice rang in Sunset’s ears, her sing-song tone much too loud for Sunset. All the girls set down their stuff and followed Pinkie out to the kitchen besides Sunset. She reached down and picked up her journal again, carefully sliding it back into her bag. Just then Rainbow Dash poked her head in through the open bedroom door. “Yo Sunny, you coming?” she asked. Sunset was almost taken aback by the nickname, but didn’t acknowledge it. She nodded and stood up, following the rainbow-haired girl into the kitchen along with the others. > Scared and Alone > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Normally, Sunset would be thrilled to be hanging out at the beach with all her friends. Sunset loved the beach. The breeze flowing off the water, the sand between her toes, getting to dress like she just stepped out of Bay Watch, Sunset loved it all. It was warm out for November, surprisingly. Like, August warm. But today something else was on her mind. She was lounging on a towel under a beach umbrella watching Rainbow absolutely destroy Pinkie and Fluttershy at volleyball. She was holding a magazine, but she hadn’t even taken a glance at the pages for the past ten minutes. She was staring out at the ocean, lost in thought. Rarity all of a sudden waved a hand in front of her face. Sunset snapped out of her trance. “Are you okay darling, you haven't touched that magazine in ten minutes?” the white skinned girl asked, looking at her friend with eyes filled with concern. Sunset nodded. “Yeah, it’s just kinda boring.” Sunset closed the book, reaching over to toss it back in her bag. As she was setting it down, her hand brushed something rough and leathery. Her journal. Sunset sighed. Journaling always helped her clear her mind, even if her letters weren’t always cohesive. She pulled it out and dug around the bottom of her bag until she retrieved a pen. Sitting with her knees pulled up in front of her, she rested her journal on her thighs and clicked her pen open. She began to write. November 12th I normally love going to the beach, it always reminds me of Equestria, back when I would play with my little brother by the shore just outside our little village. Back before I picked up and moved away to Canterlot only to throw away my dreams when I didn’t get what I wanted fast enough. Wow, I was really just a little brat, huh? I miss our little village. Everypony knew everypony and everything was always so bright and cheerful. I may have lived a modest life, but it was better than my situation now. Being homeless is definitely no fun. The winter here in this world's version of Canterlot is always brutal. We get maybe two or three warm days each fall and even less the closer we get to the holidays. The holidays are another thing I miss about home. I always spent them with my parents and little brother, Sunburst. Even when I was Celestia’s student, she always let them come stay with me in my suite for Hearth’s Warming. But now I’m all alone for the time of year you're supposed to spend with all your friends and family. I already know I’ll spend it trying not to freeze to death and by myself. I’ve been lucky enough to befriend some construction workers, who helped me fix up an old abandoned warehouse so I at least have somewhere to stay and don’t have to sleep on the streets. It’s not much, but it’s all I have, so I have to make it work. The girls absolutely can’t know about me being homeless at any cost. They would make fun of me and probably drop me as a friend. I look forward to their sleepover a lot, because sleepovers mean that I have a guaranteed meal and a warm place to sleep for the night. If they knew that I didn’t really have a place to live, they would for sure never want to still be friends with me. I don’t know what I’m going to do after high school, really. I don’t have the proper paperwork to even be a legal citizen, no less apply to college. I’d like to further my education, but I know that’s not how it’s going to work out. Maybe I’ll end up back in Equestria, I don’t know. I don’t really see another choice. If I’m not going to be locked away from commiting treason the second I step through the portal. Hopefully I can figure it out eventually, but all on my own I don’t know if I can. For now, I just need to push through, no matter how scared or lonely I may get. - Sunset Shimmer Sunset let her pen fall down onto her letter, a small splash of ink hitting the lined paper and staining it black. Sunset set the book and placed it on top of her back. Slowly, she twirled her pen around in her fingers a few times. “Uh Sunset, are you listening to me?” Sunset startled, looking up to find a familiar mop of pink curls in her face. “Oh, um sorry Pinkie, what’s up?” Sunset felt her cheeks heating up in embarrassment. “I asked you if we could have a sleepover at your place,” Pinkie looked a little annoyed as she blew a curl out of her face, leaning back, a decent distance away from Sunset but still definitely within her personal space. Sunset froze. “Um, I don’t think that’s a very good idea, Pinkie.” Pinkie bit at her bottom lip Pinkie couldn’t know. None of them could know. “We’ve never been to your house Sunset! Please…” Pinkie was giving her the puppy dog eyes look, but Sunset wasn’t going to budge. “It’s just, the place is kinda messy right now. Not really in good shape for guests.” Sunset reached down to put her pen in her bag to distract herself from the conversation she had somehow ended up in. “Come on darling, you’ve seen Pinkie’s room and we have sleepovers there all the time. We wouldn’t mind a little mess.” Rarity spoke up from her lounge chair next to Sunset. Sunset wanted to send her a nasty glare, but refrained. “Just- uh- tonight’s not a good night. Maybe in a week or so?” Sunset bit her lip again, hoping the girls would take it. They were now all crowded around her, waiting to hear her response. Rainbow Dash let out a sigh. “If you say so…” she mumbled, bouncing the volleyball on her knee like a soccer ball. The rest of the girls all looked mildly disappointed, but Sunset was grateful for getting another week to come up with a good excuse on why they couldn’t have a sleepover at her place. Everyone went back to what they were doing, bouncing back to their regular selves. All but Sunset, who sat on her chair staring out at the ocean, worried out of her mind without letting any of it slip into her peaceful expression. > Escape > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sunset was sitting in the library at school, her journal sat in front of her. Her friends were all in class so Sunset was by herself. She liked the silence of the library where she could just rearrange all her thoughts and be alone. She was twirling her pen through her fingers, thinking. Ever since her sophomore year of high school, Sunset had cut almost regularly. It was a compulsion, she just couldn’t fight it.  That’s the reason she journaled. To take her mind off the urges to slit at her wrists. She was trying to stop, but it was hard. There was a pocketknife in her backpack and she just wanted to leave the library, go to the bathroom, and draw blood from anywhere on her body there were no scars. Her wrists were covered in scars. There were many mornings she spent slathering foundation all over her wrists until nobody would notice the markings. But she resisted. She opened her journal to the next blank page and started writing. November 15th I still remember the day I got my pocket knife. It was when I first came to this world. I used what little money I had picked up off the street to buy it and a small bag of chips. Originally, it was for protection. Living on the streets, you never knew when somebody would come up behind you and try to hurt you. So a knife was a good idea. One day I felt like ending it all. I really truly wanted to die. I didn’t want to bully anymore. I wanted to just die and leave behind everyone. I was bitter and wanted to die and never see Princess Celestia again. So I started slitting at my wrists. I didn’t cut enough to bleed out and die, but I became hooked. Cutting gave me just the rush I needed to keep going. It was like a drug. It still is. It’s like all the good things about alcohol and weed. You feel on top of the world, but you also get this amazing rush that makes you never want to stop. But it’s immensely painful and it burns and you have to stop sometime. I only make one or two slashes when I cut now. I have to give it time to heal before I can do it again. Cutting is just enough to keep me afloat. To keep me from jumping off a cliff or something. I don’t know why. Maybe I just tell myself that, and my friends are really the reason I stay alive. I’d like to think that they are, but I’m not sure still. I’m really trying to stop. I know it’s harmful and I can’t keep going, but I don’t know how. I’ve thought about talking to the school guidance counselor, but I don’t know if I can trust her. If she found out I was homeless she would get me thrown into foster care. If I told her I cut she would call the police and probably get me out into a mental health hospital or something. I should tell the girls. They could help. But I don’t fully trust them to keep my secrets just yes. There’s so much they don’t know about me, and I’m not sure I want them to know. Not right now. Not yet. For now, it’s an escape. A way to get away from the horrors of life. I just try to keep rolling with the punches of this cruel world. - Sunset Shimmer Sunset closed her journal and sighed. She looked up at the clock. She still had half of her free period to go. She should probably do some homework, but she just didn’t feel like it. She still pulled out her books and put away her journal. She reached into her back pocket, feeling her pocket knife sitting there, waiting. Sunset rested her head in her arms, just wanting the day to be over already. > Bitter Tears > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sunset sat on the bathroom floor, crying with her knees pulled up to her chest. There was blood dripping down her wrists. She sobbed into her hands, trying to drive all the pain away. She had been walking to class when Gilda Griffon and Trixie Lulamoon came up behind her and shoved her to the ground, knocking all her books out of her hands. He had started taunting her. “Nobody wants you here, pony freak!” Trixie yelled. “Awww- little she-demon can’t handle a little rougin up,” Gilda taunted. Sunset had tried to gather her stuff, but kept dropping it as the girl ordered the Diamond Dogs to kick and punch her and keep her down. Eventually, Sunset gave up and ran off, trying to get as far away from them as possible. She had thought of going up to the roof, but decided against it, not knowing if she could trust herself not to jump as everything came crashing down on her. Now she was sitting in the farthest stall on the floor after slashing at her wrists while sobbing.  She knew she should be in class, but really Sunset didn’t care.  She still had her backpack on her, as she had been carrying it to her locker after her art class. She reached toward sit with shaking hands. She wanted to scream, but couldn't, so she had to settle for the next best thing, her journal. November 18th Today was terrible. Between the girls pestering me to hang out at my place and getting attacked by Gilda and her cronies, it was the worst day I've had all week. I think I might be depressed. I feel so empty all the time, and it’s so hard to feel happy most days. I’m just going through the motions now. I want people to not Hate me anymore. I’m trying to change, but nobody will give me a chance. I guess that’s my fault. The warehouse has a new hole in the roof and it’s only getting colder outside, so I guess that’s news. I tried to fix it but only made it worse. I find myself crying so often. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t cry myself to sleep. I think I’m crying just to cry, at this point. Can crying become a routine? I think I’m going to talk to the girls soon. I can’t keep living like this, I want help. I really, really do. Everyone in the hallway saw what Gilda and Trixie did to me. I bet my life savings they don’t get in trouble, or, you know, I would if I have one. Sweet Celestia, I want to go home. I think. Maybe I just want to be loved again. Yeah. That sounds nice.  For now, I guess I’ll just have to push through. I don’t even know when the portal opens again. I stopped counting months ago. I doubt my parents would want to see me again. We didn’t leave off on a very good hoof. I can’t remember the last time I truly felt happy. Maybe it’s me, maybe I’m the problem.  How do you fix someone who’s completely shattered? I wish I knew. -Sunset Shimmer Sunset looked down at the bloody, tear stained pages. Her writing was blurring together as more tears filled her eyes. She tried to wipe away the tears but only smeared blood across her cheeks.  She slammed her journal closed and threw it at the stall wall. She let out a choked sob. She went silent when she heard the bathroom door open. “Sunset? Sugarcube, are ya in here?” Applejack’s voice rang out into the bathroom, echoing off the walls. As shudder racked Sunset's rigid body. “Look!” Rainbow Dash pointed at the floor. Blood was streaked across the floor coming out of the last stall. “Sunset?! Darling! Are you in here?” Rarity knocked on the stall door. “Go away girls!” Sunset yelled, trying to keep the wobble out of her voice. “Please, Sunny! I saw what happened in the hallway!” “We want to help,” Fluttershy spoke up. They heard Sunset sniffle, then stand up. Slowly, the door opened. The five girls crowded around the stall gasped at her blood covered hands and tear stained face. “I’m so, so sorry,” Sunset whispered, looking down at the group. > Spill > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Sunset! What the fuck?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, grabbing Sunset’s arms. She didn’t pull away, but she didn’t look at Rainbow either. “Rainbow Dash! Language!” Rarity scolded. Rainbow ignored her. Rainbow pushed up the sleeves of Sunset’s leather jacket. All along her arms were raw, nasty cuts. Five on her left arm and four on her right were bleeding, and others were clearly fresh, while some were scabbed over and a few were just pale pink scars. Nobody noticed as Fluttershy kneeled down to pick up Sunset’s notebook. “Oh sugarcube, we’re so sorry,” Applejack said, taking off her hat and holding it to her chest. Pinkie’s hair deflated as Rarity reached over to help Rainbow pull Sunset’s jacket off. Rarity reached into her skirt pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. She lifted Sunset’s chin, gently wiping away the tears and some of the blood on her cheek. “Guys,” Fluttershy said quietly, sitting on the floor with Sunset’s journal open. “Why Sunny? Why?” Pinkie asked, taking a step closer to Sunset. “It’s not your fault, guys,” Sunset mumbled. She looked back to the ground. Rarity reached for her backpack, digging through it until she produced a small first-aid kit. “It’s not much, but it’ll get her cleaned up,” Rarity said. Rainbow and Applejack each took Sunset by her shoulders and led her over to the sinks. Sunset leaned up against the wall between two sinks and let Rarity get to work cleaning her arms.  Normally, Rarity avoided blood at all costs, but for Sunset she was willing to dirty her hands. “Guys,” Fluttershy said, a little louder this time. Still nobody paid her any attention. “What’s goin’ on, sugarcube? Why are ya doin’ this to yerself?” Applejack slid into the small space left between Sunset and the sink. Sunset shook her head. “I-I just can’t stop,” she whispered. “Is it us? Oh it must be us…” Pinkie spoke from Rarity’s left. “It-it isn’t y-you.” Sunset said again, voice wobbling. She hissed as Rarity swiped a hydrogen-peroxide pad over her open cuts. “Sorry darling,” Rarity apologized.  “It's okay.” Sunset laid her head back against the wall. Her eyes were glazed over and she looked more tired than any of the girls had ever seen her. Rarity bandaged the open cuts after cleaning them. As soon as she was done, Sunset slid down the wall and slumped to the floor, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs. She buried her face into her knees as she tried to get the burning feeling to ease off her eyes. “Guys,” Fluttershy said again. Pinkie looked at her but didn’t say anything. Applejack kneeled down next to Sunset on the floor. “What can we do for ya, sugarcube? How can we help?” She placed a hand on Sunset’s shoulder. “I-I don’t know.” The tears started gushing down her face again. Applejack leaned forward to hug her.  “Guys!” Fluttershy said, even louder this time. Everyone turned to look at her. “What is it, Fluttershy? Don’t you see that we have a problem here?” Rainbow said, annoyed. She crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow at Fluttershy. “Yes, Rainbow Dash, I do.” Fluttershy was almost angry, glaring at Rainbow. She held up Sunset’s journal. Sunset’s eyes widened. “Now Fluttershy, darling. We don’t need to be going through Sunset’s personal business.” Rarity chimed in, packing away her first aid kit. “Well, I already did.” Fluttershy turned to Sunset. “Sunset, why didn’t you say anything?” Tears sprung up in Fluttershy’s eyes. Sunset covered her face with her hands. “I didn’t want you to worry. I’m- I’m working on getting a place, I promise! It’s just the paperwork and getting an identity in this world together and-” Sunset burst into tears again. “Wait, Sunset? Are you saying that you’re homeless?!” Rainbow was fuming now. Sunset nodded solemnly. “Oh Sunny, why didn’t you tell us?! You could have stayed with any of us!” Pinkie began crying waterfalls.  “That’s not all.” Fluttershy flipped to the second most recent entry. She handed the notebook to Rarity. The purple haired girl began to skim the pages. More tears sprang up in her eyes as she read. Rarity slammed the notebook closed and dropped it into the sink beside her. “That’s it, you’re staying with one of us and we’re getting you help.” Rarity wasn’t asking, she was demanding. The other girls had never heard her like that before. “I-I think I’m depressed,” Sunset whispered, keeping her head down in her hands. “It’s okay Sunset, we’re here for ya. Ah promise.” Applejack wrapped an arm around her waist in an attempt at comforting her. “Should we ditch? Take Sunny back to one of our places?” Pinkie asked, picking up Sunset’s jacket off the floor. The inside of the sleeves were stained with blood and it was still severely beaten up from their fight at the Fall Formal. Fluttershy nodded. “What other choice do we have? She can’t go to class like this.” Fluttershy picked herself up, dusting off her skirt as she did.  “Fluttershy’s right. She needs to get fluids in her system and to get some sleep in a real bed,” Rarity said. Everyone nodded in response. “I don’t want to be a bother.” Sunset lifted her head and laid it back down on Applejack’s shoulder. “Ya need help, sugarcube. Ya aren’t being a bother for needin’ help.” Applejack said. Rainbow nodded. “Yeah! We don’t like seeing you in pain, Sunset.” Rainbow looked at the ground. “Even if seeing you cry at the Fall Formal felt extremely rewarding,” she added, mumbling. “Rainbow Dash! That is such a terrible thing to say!” Rarity slapped Rainbow’s arm. “No, she’s right. I was awful. I deserve all of this.” Sunset brought her hands back up to her face and tried to hide away from the other five girls. “That’s not true, Sunny,” Pinkie said. “Yeah, we all love you.” Fluttershy joined in. “What ya did is in tha past now.” Applejack rubbed a hand up and down Sunset’s arm from where she had her left arm wrapped around the crying girl. “You don’t deserve to be in pain, darling.” Rarity shook her head. Rainbow stayed quiet. All four girls turned to glare at her. She laughed nervously before saying, “We want to help you, you just have to let us in.” She gave Rarity a look that said ‘happy?’. “So, are we ditching?” Fluttershy asked again. “When you put it like that it sounds terrible. We are simply helping a friend. If that includes leaving school then so be it!” Rarity held her head high, despite the situation. “Come on sugarcube.” Applejack slowly helped Sunset get up off the floor.  “Pinkie, give me her jacket.” Rarity reached out for the beaten up leather she was still holding. Pinkie handed it off to her. Rarity held it up, inspecting it. “We’ll take her to my place. My parents are out of town and we have a guest room.” The girls nodded in confirmation. Rarity walked over to where Sunset was now standing.  “Here, darling. Put his back on,” she said, helping Sunset into her jacket. Sunset pulled it tight around her body, holding it in place and hugging herself. She lowered her head and let her red and yellow hair fall around her face, shielding her from the world. The other five all exchanged a worried glance. They had never seen Sunset like this, so broken and vulnerable, not even the night of the Fall Formal. Fluttershy grabbed Sunset’s backpack from the stall she had been sitting in when they found her. Pinkie found the diary in the sink and handed it to the yellow girl, who slipped it into the backpack. She zipped it up and handed it to Rainbow Dash, who slung it over her shoulder accompanying her own. Applejack and Rarity walked on either side of Sunset, Applejack with an arm around her waist and Rarity holding her hand. The other three walking in formation around them, keeping them away from prying eyes that might still be in the hallways. The bell would be ringing for fifth period soon and the girls hurried to get Sunset out of the building. They walked up to Fluttershy’s car. As the oldest of the group, she was the only one with both a drivers license and a car. She pulled her keys from her skirt pocket and made sure everyone was inside safely. Pinkie in the passenger seat, with Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow sitting in the back, Sunset in Applejack’s lap with her head resting on her shoulder. Fluttershy drove them to Rarity’s and Pinkie Pie kept looking back behind her to check on Sunset. Her hair still hadn’t returned to it’s regular poofy form again. She sat in her seat with her arms crossed, a worried look on her face. When they pulled into Rarity’s driveway, Applejack carried Sunset out of the car and inside. Once everyone had entered the house, Rarity led Applejack with Sunset still in her arms upstairs so that the redhead could get some sleep. Rarity opened the guest bedroom door and Applejack carried Sunset over to the bed, laying her down on it. Rainbow Dash walked in behind them and set her backpack at the foot of the bed. “It’s our lucky day, because Sunset keeps all her clothes in her backpack,” Rainbow said, pulling out the only pair of pajamas the homeless girl had. “Nonsense, I’ll get her some of mine. Those look horrid.” Rarity shook her head, taking the clothes from Rainbow and fishing around the backpack for any others, only finding one other set of clothes. Sunset looked like she wanted to object, but kept her mouth shut. She left the room, clothes in hand, presumably to be washed. Applejack and Rainbow sat on the bed around Sunset. “You could have just told us,” Rainbow mumbled, trying to hide the tears in her eyes. “I know.” Sunset’s voice sounded so miserable and tired, the other two silently agreed to let her rest. She had just started to drift off when Rarity returned with an oversized graphic t-shirt and a pair of flannel pajama pants. “Applejack, lift her up and bring her into the bathroom.” Applejack nodded, moving to pick the redhead back up. Rainbow spotted a tape measure in Rarity's other hand and shook her head. Applejack set Sunset down on the bathroom counter in the hall bathroom and left Rarity to help Sunset get changed. When they came out five minutes later, Rarity was shoving her tape measure back into her pocket. Applejack rolled her eyes before helping Sunset back to the bedroom. Rainbow pulled back the covers, letting Sunset crawl under them and get comfortable. “Is there anything else you need, darling?” Rarity asked from the doorway. “You said she needed fluids.” Fluttershy suddenly appeared behind Rarity, holding a pink reusable water bottle. “Ah yes, thank you dear.” Rarity smiled at Fluttershy and took the water bottle from her, bringing it over to Sunset. She opened the top which had a straw and carefully helped her drink some before the girl all together passed out. “That should be okay. Get some rest, Sunset.” Rarity smiled down at Sunset as she closed the water bottle and set it on the side table, brushing a piece of hair out of Sunset’s face just as she drifted off to sleep as last. “We should have someone stay with her at all times. Or like, go in a rotation,” Rainbow said, laying behind Sunset on top of the covers. “Ah reckon you wanna take the first watch?” Applejack said. Rainbow nodded. “Okay darling. We’ll send Pinkie in after an hour.” Rarity and Applejack left the room, cracking the door so they could hear any commotion from downstairs. “Ya took that poor girl's measurements, didn’t ya?”  Applejack asked her as rarity made her way back to her bedroom, presumably to put away her tape measure. Rarity pulled out her phone, flashing her notepad with Sunset’s measurements written on it. “Of course ya did.” Applejack rolled her eyes again as Rarity put away the tape measure. “Go get the girls and bring them up here. I think we need to talk, and I need to get to work on fixing this jacket,” Rarity said, holding up Sunset’s battered leather jacket. Applejack nodded, heading down the stairs and beckoning the other two girls to follow her back up to Rarity’s room.  Once they had all gotten settled in, Rarity began scrolling through the measurements on her phone. “She’s terribly malnourished. I’m only two inches taller than her and her measurements are drastically smaller. It was awful girls, you should have seen her. It was like she was just skin and bones.” Rarity shook her head and put away her phone. “How do we help her?” Fluttershy asked, knees pulled up to her chest. “Her journal said she lived in an abandoned warehouse and struggled to eat everyday, on top of all the stress from school and possibly being depressed, she can’t be okay in any sense of the word.” Rarity pulled Sunset’s leather jacket into her lap to inspect it. “Should we tell an adult? Get Sunny the help she needs?” Pinkie asked, her hair slowly poofing back up. “Who would we tell?” Fluttershy asked. Pinkie’s hair deflated again. “Well, she can stay here for a few more days. My parents won’t be back until next weekend. I’ll make her some next clothes and fix up this jacket,” Rarity said, slipping on her red glasses to inspect it closer. “If she was willin’ to help around the farm, ah’m sure Granny wouldn’t mind her stayin with us. Mah bed has a trundle she can sleep on,” Applejack suggested. “That might work, AJ,” Fluttershy said. “And there’s always room for her at my place if she needs a little more time to recover before she can help out around the farm,” she added. “Yay! We have places for Sunny to go!” Pinkie cheered, her hair bouncing back to its original form. “Pinkie! Quiet! Sunset’s just in the next room over!” Rarity chided. Pinkie sat back down, pulling what appeared to be a chocolate chip cookie out of her hair. Flutterhsy gave her a disgusted look, but didn’t comment. Back in the guest room, rainbow was gently stroking Sunset’s hair as she slept, the girl occasionally jerking to the side or away from her and letting out small whimpers and sobs. Rainbow just tried to keep her from falling off the side of the bed and tried to calm her down, although she didn’t know how well it was working. Sunset suddenly started awake, immediately rolling away and trying to get out of Rainbow’s grasp with mumbles of “no” and “stop”. “Sunset! It’s okay, it’s just me! Rainbow Dash! You’re safe,” she tried to reassure Sunset, pulling her back to be closer to her. Sunset looked up at her with those big teal eyes that just made her want to melt. “You’re safe,” she said again, holding Sunset with one hand and stroking her hair with the other. Sunset leaned forward, falling to rest her forehead on Rainbow’s collarbone. Rainbow accepted this as she tried to coax Sunset back to sleep. It had only been fifteen minutes after all. Soon the other girls barged in, worried. Their eyes fell on Rainbow holding Sunset and playing with her hair and they instantly relaxed. “Uh- I swear it’s not what it looks like! She was just having a nightmare!” Rainbow blushed, trying to defend herself. “It’s fine, Rainbow,” Applejack said, leaning up against the door frame. The other girls crowded into the room, sitting around Sunset and Rainbow on the bed. “I feel safer with you all here,” Sunset mumbled, moving her head slightly to look out at the rest of them. They all smiled. “We’re glad, Sunset,” Fluttershy rested a hand on Sunset’s shoulder and rubbed gently. “You’re not going to have to be alone anymore, we promise!” Pinkie went to hug her, but Fluttershy gently nudged her away, as the area around Sunset was already very crowded. She pouted, but soon went back to smiling “We’ll get you help, it’s going to be just fine, darling.” Rarity smiled at Sunset, brushing a hand through her hair from where she sat next to Rainbow. “We’re proud to call ya our friend, Sunset. Don’tcha ever forget that,” Applejack said, coming into the room and sitting down in the desk chair somebody had pulled up to the bedside. Sunset smiled at all of them. “And I really couldn’t ask for better friends.”