Don't Let an A.I. Write Fanfiction.
Soarin trotted with a happy spring in his step as he entered the restaurant. It was a new one in Canterlot, Fleetfoot mentioned it off-hoofedly the other day.
Rainbow Dash made an entrance from fucking chaos as she flew in from a flying saucer.
She was all to eager to explain it to Soarin while it was happening, as she sat across the table from him.
Two of the mane six climbed onto the back of the vehicle. with a hoof the muttonchops were disassembled from the back. The sonic booms sliced through the air as the vehicle began driving. Rizzo’s ecstatic laughter quickly stopped when the vehicle flew through a building and crashed into another one. He cursed and bit his tongue, preparing to deal with Applejack and Scootaloo.
Before they could get their act together, the vehicle exploded again and the half-pound of TNT that was once inside flew straight into the back of a unicorn, narrowly missing Applejack and Scootaloo. It was of course detected and stolen.
Scootaloo was blown clear, but her flying saucer still seemed in danger of plummeting to the surface. Applejack quickly caught her before the effect took hold, and it plummeted to the ground safely. But Applejack could not see what had happened, and so her mind began to play tricks on her. She began panicking.
the saucer exploded at the volume of her stupidity.
Soarin saw all that and thought it was weird. dash however, was mad that her mane actually looked nice after it all. she looked down at the table they were sat, and saw the various appetizers of milk, oranges, and cupcakes. she knew what to do.
She grabbed the supple cupcake on the table and rubbed it in her mane. Soarin observed in horror as she then suddenly held it out in her hoof as to drop it.
Soarin screamed as dash dropped the cupcake one the floor, throwing him into sudden prolonged misery. Spitfire trotted in suddenly, and Scootaloo scratched at her nose as the one time anti-waterbender leapt into the crevice beneath the cat’s nose.
“TARNATION!” Scootaloo sang, “Here I am to help you out of this one!”
Tarnation -the cat- curled up on her sides and mewled again.
“I’m sorry!” Spitfire trilled, hopping off the wall and trotting over to take a look. “It’s just… so cute!”
She reached out to take the cupcake, and Scootaloo backed away from it.
“No” Scootaloo squeaked in pathetic defiance, “that’s mine” she snatched the cupcake and ran back to her former dorm, grinding to a halt by the door.
“Laser Cut Cone Coffee” was written in two thin lines on the cupcake. Scootaloo hadn’t come to eat the coffee; it had been lunch. She didn’t see the funny side when Scootaloo started leaving big enough pieces in her wake that made her legs wobble.
Spitfire had really been talking about the cat when she said it was cute, not the cupcake ruined by Dash, that Soarin was STILL moping about.
If it was the cupcake, though, someone would have spotted the cat. AND
5) The drink cart just crashed. yup.
6) Nopony used the marker that is on board the trams, otherwise the captains wouldn’t be so late for their runs.
7) Did any pony actually think these routes are the ideal ones for important events? Especially for Mares?
8) Please start calling them between 7 and 9 AM on the hour, especially to hear the overhead announcements so the crew can actually RUN on time?
Dash and Soarin looked up from him being sadness to see Spitfire still having a cutegasm about the cat, but Soarin could tell she was ranting about tram schedules in her head. it was in her eyes.
Dash spoke up; “So where’s the ditchee?”
“Suit yourself, Dash.” Spitfire said as she let her cheerful aura fade, and her begrudging tiredness take over. “I’m just here to clean your stupid helmet.”
“So, what’s with all the blushing?” Soarin asked.
the tired captain glared. “I’m sick of YOUR GUYS SHIT” she snapped at him.
Soarin was mad as hell, and reached back for one of the oranges. Rainbow Dash turned on her back so that her head was almost touching Soarin’s leg. He grabbed a hold of the orange and tried to pull her. He wasn’t planning on letting go. Soarin moved his hooves and noticed the orange was no longer in the milk. He twisted his mouth to see if the orange was still in the milk but couldn’t tell. He tried to pull one, but suddenly his frustration boiled over.
“Wha… Wait… NO!” He yelled as Rainbow Dash let go of the orange. it hit the floor with a pitiful PLOP, and his food induced depression returned in full force.
He was so broke now. He turned to Scootaloo, realizing the fact that there was no time to make this meal for himself. “gotta get back to the shop.” As he walked out, both Scootaloo and Pinkie Pie immediately stopped to gawk at him.
“Soarin! W-What the heck are you doing?” Pinkie asked in surprise hiding her eyes behind her horn.
Soarin looked back over his shoulder.
Rainbow dash was about to punch him in the ass. “So do I.” she agreed with nothing.
Soarin was surprised, but grinned like a fool. “It’s not my fault. You’ve flown all around the world. You wouldn’t understand a thing.”
The rainbow maned mare leaned forward and kissed him. He had forgotten what it was like for dash to kiss him.
“I can’t believe that you could be so sweet! Why have you been so… so… frustrated with me?”
Soarin nuzzled his cheek against the knot of hair on the back of her head, “It’s because I have good taste” He smirked.
they flew off.
twenty seconds later, Dash was about to punch Soarin’s ass at TWO HUNDRED KILOMETERS AN HOUR, but he had a burst in, and flew past his opponent to earn a wide release and a ticklish spot on his bottom. “…And now to beat out monokuma”, he smiled.
“no way! YAAASSS”
…they then threw themselves on the ground laughing.