Sugar and Spice
The sunset is illuminating the rooftops of Ponyville in a gorgeous orange glow. Every pony, every object, every building seems to shine with the radiant light of Celestia’s setting sun.
It’s pissing you off. It’s getting in your eyes. You don’t have sunglasses.
You keep walking forwards through the marketplace to reach your apartment.
“Hey!” a mare’s voice calls out to you.
You turn to see Bon-Bon and Lyra stood on their doorstep. You walk over to them.
“Hey!” Lyra says again. “We haven’t seen you in a while! Where have you been?”
You met Lyra and Bon-Bon in early high school and have remained good friends with both of them ever since.
“Oh, just doing stuff, I guess,” you say in answer to Lyra’s question.
“Would you like to come in for a while?” Bon-Bon says softly. “It feels like we haven’t talked for ages… it’ll be good to catch up with you.”
You accept the couples’ offer and go into their living room.
“I’ll get us drinks,” Bon-Bon says before walking into the kitchen and leaving you and Lyra in the living room.
“So…” you begin, trying to think of a good conversation starter. “I see you and Bon-Bon are still together.”
“Mhm. I think we will be forever,” Lyra says.
“That’s great,” you reply.
Bon-Bon returns to the room with a tray of drinks.
“Thanks Bon-Bon,” you say.
“Thanks Bonnie,” says Lyra.
Bon-Bon smiles and sits next to you on the sofa.
The three of you spend a couple of hours talking about your lives to each other, recounting things you remembered fondly from school (not that you had much to remember fondly from that period in your life), and the usual things friends who haven’t met up in a while talk about.
“It’s getting late,” you say after the conversation has died down. You were quite enjoying spending time with Lyra and Bon-Bon, but you did need to get home.
“Yes, it is,” says Bon-Bon in her somehow permanently-soft voice. “I suppose you’ll want to be leaving now,” she says, getting up to open the front door for you.
After she leaves the room, you’re about to get up and follow when Lyra grabs your foreleg and sits you back down.
“Hey, listen,” she says.
“Yeah?” you reply.
“I’ve wanted to do this thing for a while, and I was wondering if you’d be up for it…” she says.
“Sure, I guess. Depending on what it is,” you say.
“Well,” Lyra says, “have you ever considered having a threesome?”
“A threesome?!” you reply. “Like, as in… a threesome?!”
Lyra laughs. “Yeah…. It’s just I’ve always wanted to try one… do you think you’d be up for it?”
You don’t even need to consider that offer. A threesome with Lyra and Bon-Bon, the 2 most beautiful mares in Equestria!
“Of course!” you say.
Tonight’s the night!
You’ve showered and prepared yourself for the upcoming lesbian-love-fest. Oh yeah, this was gonna be rad.
You knock on the door. Bon-Bon answers it.
“Oh, hello… you’re here for the, um, threesome, aren’t you…” she says timidly.
“Indeed I am,” you say.
“Well… I’m sure you’ll have lots of fun…” she says, blushing. She doesn’t seem to be comfortable even talking about the whole thing. If she isn’t comfortable TALKING about it, what’s she gonna be like during the actual thing?
“Hey! He’s here!” says Lyra, skipping towards you. “Come on, let’s get started!”
You were so psyched for this. This was gonna rock so much! You giddily wonder who you’ll go for first – Lyra or Bon-Bon?
Bon-Bon coughs. “So, um, I’ll just let myself out here…” she says, opening the front door. “I’ll be back in a few hours… have fun, you two,” she says before closing the door behind her.
“Wait, what? Bon-Bon backed out? So it’s just me and you now?” you ask Lyra.
Lyra laughs. “You thought Bon-Bon was gonna do something like this?! Ha! Of course not! She’s not even comfortable talking about sex!”
“Wait, what?!” you say, confused. “Won’t she mind you having a threesome with me and some stranger?”
“Why would she mind what her best friend gets up to?” Lyra asks.
“Wait… best friend?” you say. “I thought you were lesbians!”
Lyra stares at you for a minute. “Uhh… what gave you that idea?”
“I even asked you last night!” you say. “You said you’d be together forever!”
“Yeah,” Lyra says, “I meant living together. House sharing is fun. And cheaper. Anyway, are we gonna have this threesome? Come on, there’s someone in the bedroom I’d like you to meet!”
Your initial confusion washes away and is replaced by giddiness. Perhaps the new third threesome member would be even more beautiful than Bon-Bon! Perhaps she’d be even more beautiful than Princess Celestia herse-
You open the bedroom door to see a hulking white mass of muscle with red eyes and a dark blonde mane and a ring through it’s nose.
It’s a stallion.
“This is him! This is the guy we’ll be doing it with! He’s called Roid Rage!” Lyra says chirpily. “So, are you two ready?”
“YEAAAAAH!” screams Roid Rage. You can feel the musky scent of mansweat and testosterone pump around the room as he speaks.
You’re gonna be sick. You’re gonna be wildly sick. This is literally the exact opposite of what you had expected and hoped for.
“Listen, Lyra,” you say, “I might need to back out here…”
“What? Why?” Lyra asks.
“Uhh… I’m tired. Too tired for a threesome. Well, goodnight,” you say, turning to leave.
Lyra grabs you and laughs. “Oh, come on. It’s fine to be nervous. But this’ll be fun! People wouldn’t do it so much if it wasn’t fun! Come on, let’s do this!”
You realise this may not be a total disaster! Perhaps Roid Rage can take Lyra from one end while you take her from the other end! It’s still totally 100% hetero!
With renewed enthusiasm, you leap up onto the bed and position yourself behind Lyra. You close your eyes and slide your throbbing, erect penis into her tight asshole. She moans excitedly as you slide into h-
You feel a sharp pain in your own ass. You frantically open your eyes and turn around. You can’t turn around because 2 huge strong stallion arms are holding you in place.
“GET OFF! FUCK OFF! GET THE FUCKING FUCK OFF!” you scream as Roid Rage overpowers you and mounts you from behind.
“OH, GOD! NO! NO!!” you scream, flailing around like a maniac trying to escape.
During your flailing, you accidentally punch Roid Rage in the face about 40 times harder than you intended to. Blood starts leaking from his nostrils.
You hop off the bed and back away from him, ignoring the throbbing pain in your anus from where his mighty cock had pierced you mere moments before.
“Look, dude, I’m sorry, but that was… I didn’t really expect you to-“
Your apology is cut off when Roid Rage lets out a battle cry and charges at you, smashing you clean through Lyra’s bedroom wall.
“Agh! Quit it!” you scream as you fruitlessly unleash a flurry of ineffective punches against Roid Rage.
You scramble to your hooves and manage to narrowly dodge a potentially lethal hoof-smash from Roid Rage. You scream for help as you bolt down the stairs and out the front door. Roid Rage follows closely behind you, smashing the door out of the way.
"EVERYONE! HELP!" you scream. The Ponyvillians in the market place, as well as Bon-Bon who was just leaving, all turn to look at you.
"Guys! Please! Call the police or something! Help me befo-"
You're cut off once again as Roid Rage leaps at you from behind and mounts you once more, in front of everyone in Ponyville. You scream and flail around, but Roid Rage has you firmly pinned down.
Little foals watch on in horror. Mothers shield their foals eyes. Bon-Bon stands motionless, just staring in shock. The Ponyvillians in the market place either flee or stand in gruesome awe of the sight before them. A group of teens record the incident on their camera phone.
"WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING?!" you screech. "HELP! PLEASE! HELP!"
Bon-Bon reaches for her phone and dials the police.
You feel Roid Rage enter you once more.
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!" you scream.
Eventually, Lyra charges out of her house behind you. "Roid Rage! I told you not to treat him so roughly!" she scolds.
"SORRY, LYRA," Roid Rage says. Apparently his normal voice is shouting.
Roid Rage reluctantly steps off you, painfully ripping his dick out of you in the process.
"HEY, WE COOL ABOUT ALL THIS BRO?" he asks you.
"What?!" you say. "NO! We are not 'cool'! You dick!" you snap.
He grunts angrily and storms off, followed by Lyra.
The crowd of onlookers has dispersed. Bon-Bon remains at your side.
"My God, this is so horrible," she says. "I'm so sorry you got raped-"
You interject. "I didn't get raped. At all. Not at all. I didn't get raped."
Bon-Bon stares at you. "But everyone just saw you get ra-"
"I DID NOT GET RAPED. LET'S AGREE ON THAT, BON-BON." you say forcefully.
Bon-Bon speaks up again. "But he put his thingy in your-"
"It wasn't rape!" you snap. "At the VERY WORST, it was minor sexual assault. It was a joke, more than anything. A really funny joke."
"Okay... you're right," she meekly says. "Are you well enough to talk to the police? They'll be here in a minute."
"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks, Bon-Bon," you say.
The police arrive, but they aren't just any police force - this is the royal guard! They've arrived in a royal Canterlot chariot!
"Is this the place we received a call from a few minutes ago?" the gruff royal guard captain asks.
"Yes," says Bon-Bon. "I was the one who called you to report the rape-"
"I DIDN'T GET RAPED," you interject.
"I see," says the royal guard captain. Suddenly he leaps on top of you, pins you to the floor and puts you in hoof-cuffs.
"What's going on?!" asks Bon-Bon.
"This man is under arrest for causing a public disturbance!" says the royal guard captain as he drags you across the rough concrete ground towards the police chariot. "What were you thinking, screaming like that at this time of the night?!" he demands.
In a strange way, you actually feel good right now. At least things can't get any worse. You're fairly sure this is the worst things can possibly get, so it's all uphill from here!
You lean back and sigh.
A bird shits right into your mouth and down your throat in that instant.