> The Time We Lost > by GunfStep > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > And The Time We Still Have > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A soft humming emanates from the garden. Rarity rests along the side of a fountain, water rising towards the two tiered top, before gently falling along the edges into the basin below. The quiet serenity of the place is comforting, and feelings of nostalgia fill the air as she continues her whispered song. A blue string floats casually in front of her, wrapped in a glow, as it slowly begins to swivel and bend, its shape dancing in the air, folding and shifting before finally forming into a small bow. It lowers down and rests atop the head of a tiny bird who chirps appreciatively. “There, you look simply adorable dear. I daresay you’ll be catching the eye of every young man you come across.” A chirp in the distance as a second bird descends from the roof to land next to the other, and the two begin excitedly chirping to each other. Soon, the new arrival brushes it’s head against the other, the first relaxing into the embrace. “Ah… or maybe, just the one then, yes?” Rarity chuckles as the two birds turn to her, the first giving a final small peep, before taking to the sky and flying off. She sighs. Her ears twitch slightly.  Lifting her head slowly, she turns to look behind her, her smile unrestrained. “Of all the ponies I expected to see today, you are certainly the most unexpected.” She giggles softly. “Though I suppose, you’re not quite a pony now, are you darling?” Taking several steps forward, you come around from the side of the fountain. Rarity beams as you come fully into view, and you find it hard to stop your own smile from traveling to your ears. The two of you take a moment to look the other over. Rarity is as elegant as you remember her, perhaps even more so. Her mane is still impeccably kept, her curls bounce casually alongside her neck. There’s a streak of grey in it, a new line that runs down to the tips. As she raises a hoof to brush a small strand of hair back into place, You can tell it’s been styled that way with purpose.  She’s wearing a coat fashioned more like a cape, showcasing her preferred colors. A lilac collar fits around her neck, before giving way to darker patterns, draping across her body in shades of violet and lavender.   She moves, rising from her laid down position. You can see her fur shimmer in the sun as her hoof pulls at her coat, shifting it slightly to keep it from catching in the fountain basin. She looks up at you. Her gentle eyes taking you in fully. They’re more tired than you remember, soft lines tracing the corners; but you can still see the glint of life in them, the beautiful determination that refuses to fade. It’s one of many reasons you’ve braved the journey back to Ponyville. “It’s certainly been quite a long time Rarity. Er, sorry for interrupting.” You motion in the direction the birds had flown off in. She waves a hoof dismissively, “Think nothing of it. I was just helping the little dear impress her beau. I’m sure the two of them didn’t plan on keeping an old lady like myself company all day. Although… Perhaps I could ask you? After all, I believe we have quite a bit of catching up to do!” She looks at you, smiling coyly. You feel your heart skip a beat, and you smile, giving a nod.  “I believe I may be able to accommodate that request, let me... just…” You turn, looking around for a chair and spot several benches off in other corners, but none that could be easily carried back. A small cough behind you, and you turn to see Rarity gently patting at the spot beside her. You blush and make your way next to her, lowering yourself to sit along the lip of the fountain next to her. As you settle in, the two of you turn to look on into the garden. Taking a moment to admire it. The rock trail that encircles the fountain branches off in several directions. Each path leading towards a beautifully manicured field of leaves and flowers. The emerald green of the foliage springing upwards. Creeping flowers climb along the sides of pillars, their buds blossom and bloom, weaving in and out as if they were built alongside their supports, giving way to a visual cacophony of colors. Vibrant splashes of the rainbow play along the air, as the flowers surrounding you and Rarity sway gently in the summer wind.  “It’s beautiful isn’t it?” “It’s stunning.” You take a moment to drink it all in, before you realize. “I don’t remember ever coming here.” “You wouldn’t, unfortunately. It was built only a few years ago. Fluttershy insisted upon it. I’m not sure how long you’ve been back darling, but there’s been a number of new additions to Ponyville.” She shifts slightly, her hoof tracing slow circles along the fountain. “Some smaller businesses and renovations have been built up around the area to keep up with the growing community. Ponyville being ‘the home of Princess Twilight Sparkle, and the first ever all creature Friendship School.’ has seen us grow to become less ‘Ponyville’ lately and more ‘Ponycity’ in some regards.” She sighs wistfully, and you turn to see her face fallen slightly. A sad smile on her face. “Fluttershy wanted to keep parts of Ponyville more nature oriented, for the animals that make their home here. There’s a number of sanctuaries and gardens that have sprung up to match the more industrious areas being built.” You nod appreciatively.  “That's good of her. How is she doing these days?” “Oh, she’s doing fine. She’s been working hard at her animal sanctuary. We haven’t had time to chat much but she did mention she has plans to expand outwards.” “Out of Ponyville you mean?” “I imagine so darling. She and Discord have been traveling around Equestria, and she believes she can do a lot of good for some of the more frontier areas of Ponyville.” “Ah, that makes sense. The Everfree isn’t the only place with some of nature's more… vicious critters.” “Quite so darling.” You look at her. “And Discord?” Rarity giggles, turning to face you. “Surprised? The two of them have been like peas in a pod these last few years. I’ve asked her if there’s something more going on but she just blushes and squeaks quietly.”  The two of you share a laugh. It certainly sounds like Fluttershy and Discord are happy together. “Still, if she wants to go on keeping it quiet, I will not press her. It would be rude to do otherwise. So try and keep that bit of information to yourself if you bump into her, hmm?” You bring a finger to your lip and wink conspiratorially at her. She sighs, playfully batting at you with a hoof. It's good to see her spirits lifting. That sad look you saw on her was something you wanted to avoid. “What about the rest of the girls?” You ask, it’s been ages since you’ve seen them last. You hope they’re doing well. “They’re doing just as good as Fluttershy I daresay. Pinkie Pie has co-ownership of Sugarcube Corner now. The Cakes have moved out into a home of their own and let Pinkie run the place. Which is just as well, as she’s with Cheese Sandwich now, the two of them have a little filly together.” “Oh wow. That… I mean, I kind of expected the shop, but Cheese and a kid? That’s incredible!” “It is, isn’t it? It’s wonderful seeing her so happy. But, if you think that’s incredible.” Rarity motions you forward and leans into you, you follow along and chuckle as she looks around, going through the motions of two people partaking in the juiciest of gossip. Confident the two of you are alone, she looks at you, smiling. “Applejack and Rainbow.” She pulls away, staring at you expectantly with a giddy grin. “Applejack and Rainbow?” You frown. “What about them? I kinda feel like you’re not telling me eve- NO!” Rarity grins wider, putting her hoof to her lips to try and quiet you, before falling into a round of giggles. “No! Really?” She nods. “I… AJ, and Dash? Really?” Another nod. “Huh…” And suddenly you find yourself smiling. “I always kinda figured y’know? Those two were always together.” Rarity snickers into her hoof. Waving you on. “We called it darling, remember all those years ago, when we shared that bottle of wine at The Grand Gourmand?”  A hazy memory floats into your mind as you recall a dim lit restaurant, you and Rarity celebrating one of her stores opening. One to many glasses of wine had you two giggling like children and wondering where you and all your friends would be years down the road. “I do… wow. That feels like forever ago…” Rarity looks at you, a thin smile on her face. “Almost ten years now…” You falter. “That long…” The two of you stare out into the garden again. A tension in the air. You’re not sure what to say, but Rarity speaks for you. “What about you Darling? What have you been doing all this time?” She turns her head to look at you, and you frown, looking towards the ground. “Traveling. A Lot of it.” You pause, but she doesn’t speak, you both know there’s more to it than that. You’re just not sure how to tell her. If you even can. “I spent a lot of time trying to find myself. And I’m just now realizing I’m not sure I ever needed to.” You stay quiet for a time after that. Unsure how to proceed. “I enjoyed getting your letters…” Her voice is soft, and You look up, Rarity gazes out into the garden, a serene smile on her face. “You did? I mean, you got them okay?” “Of course darling.”  She looks up into the sky, watching the clouds lazily float on by. “I have all of them tucked away in a drawer at home. I revisit them from time to time. I'm amazed at some of the places you traveled too. But I always wondered when you would stop. It seemed every few months you were in a new location. I always wanted to write back, but there was never a return address.” You feel a pang of guilt wash over you. And you stare off into the garden. You had always wanted to hear back from her. But the prospect of staying in one place that long never sat well with you. You weren’t even sure if you could have.   A moment passes, the two of you staring off into the distance, before you finally speak. “What about you Rarity? What have you been doing all this time?” She giggles softly, but the joy has seeped out of it. As she turns towards you, you notice the look on her face, it's one you’ve become familiar with yourself over the years. Carefully crafted to appear happy. To steer away the worry and hide the misery. But anyone who’s felt the emotion before, can see right through it. “I have been here darling. The pillar of Ponyville. With the way things have been moving along here, Twilight asked me to oversee some of the projects being built, and offer opinions on them when I could. It’s nice to see everything moving along, but we want Ponyville to still retain some of what makes it… well. Ponyville.” She looks out at some of the buildings, a pleased expression growing on her face. Your eye's follow hers, and you're suddenly aware of the sounds of ponyville. In the peace of the garden, you can make out the faint sounds of construction going on beyond it. Hear ponies laughing and chatting as they pass by. A bell chimes in the distance. While you traveled, time marched on, and Ponyville fell in line with it. “I still run the boutique; Yona, the lovely girl,  has been helping me with some of the day to day chores, which allows me to help more with the construction around Ponyville. And of course, Coco Pommel and Sassy Saddles still help with running the other locations.” She pauses, and you look toward her. Her face shimmers softly under the rays of the sun, and she sighs before continuing. “I occasionally visit Canterlot. There are fashion shows that go on, and it's always lovely to visit and do some promoting when I can. I send dresses to Sassy for most of the shows, but for one’s I feel especially proud of, I go myself... I’ve always enjoyed seeing the reactions ponies have to them.” She finishes, her eyes follow the sway of the flowers, but her focus is elsewhere. “So, as you can see. I’m committed to my work.” Quieter. “And not much else these days.” You linger on her face for a moment. And you can see the age in it. A tired beauty that refuses to fade. Slowly, mechanically, You bring your hands together and rub at the skin, feel the cracks and creases you've earned throughout the years. You can feel the time you’ve both lost. You wish terribly for the opportunity to go back and stop yourself from ever leaving. But that moment has been lost, like so many others.  You don’t want to lose anymore. “Darling, I’d very much like for you to visit the boutique before you leave again.” You shake yourself out of your thoughts, and are brought back to see Rarity’s smiling face. “Pardon?” “Yes dear, I think a visit is in order. It’s been far too long since I had the chance to design something for you.”  Her horn begins to glow, and you can feel the magic tingle through your arm as she lifts it. You can see her face scrunch up, and feel her weighing your measurements in her head. You laugh, letting her magic move you this way and that.  “I think I can find the time for that. I’d love to have a Rarity original in my wardrobe again.” She giggles, softly, refined. It sends a shiver down your spine. You’ve missed this.  A few more moments pass as she finishes playing with your arms before setting them down. You make to turn towards her, but find yourself stopped by her magic, unable to see her face. “Rarity?” “I’ve missed you. All these years… When the girls were off doing their own thing, it was nice to know you were around. Someone I could confide in when the others were away. I may say I’m the pillar of Ponyville, but for a time… you were mine.” The magic surrounding you fades and you turn to look at her, but she's turned away, her face staring off into the garden. You’re not sure if it’s the light, but you can see a faint blush across her cheeks. Hear a quiet sniffle. You move to speak but she coughs and waves a hoof. “But enough about all that. You’re here now yes? I will most certainly be designing a new suit for you, but! I will not let you have it until you’ve given me an address I can write back to you at. I refuse to let another ten years go by before I get the chance to speak with you again.” Now it's your turn to look away, an attempt to hide the embarrassment that’s surely crept onto your face. You knew you weren’t going to be able to avoid this. “I uh… I don’t really have one. A home, that is.” A silence fills the air, and you give a nervous glance towards Rarity. Expecting to see her look appalled, you find instead her face is full of worry. “Darling, you’re not serious are you? Surely you don’t mean to tell me you have nowhere to sleep.” “No, no. I do, of course. When I was traveling I would rent out rooms in hotels, or borrow a spare bedroom from ponies who I had gotten to know or was working with. I just uh… well. Don’t have a place to call my own.” Rarity shakes her head in disbelief. Looking at you more sternly, almost angry. “But why dear? I… I understand wanting to travel, but to do it for so long? With nowhere to come back to at the end of it? What reason could you possibly have had for doing such a thing?” This is it. “I was scared.” Rarity’s face softens, turning quizzical as she analyzes you slowly, but before she can ask a question, you answer it for her. “I... fell in love with a mare, here in Ponyville... I desperately wanted to be with her. But... the more I saw her with her friends, succeeding and surpassing anything I could ever give her? I grew cold feet.” You chuckle mirthlessly.  “How could I ever think I might be worth her time?” Your voice wavers slightly, You wipe at your eyes, but you press on. “So I left. I figured… maybe I could find something out there.” You gesture broadly, “Something that would make me more worthwhile, or give me a purpose, y’know. Find a way to be someone who would be good enough for her... And I’ve spent all this time looking for something… anything. Traveling from city to city, taking odd jobs and risky work, anything to show my worth. Something to go back home with... But I couldn’t find it.” You pause for a moment. Catching your breath. A hoof finds its way into your hand, and you turn to see Rarity, a wan look on her face, concern in her eyes. Your breath halts as you’re struck by how worried she is for you, and as you calm yourself, you smile back at her. You sigh deeply before continuing. Placing your other hand on her hoof.  “I met with one of her friends recently… a trip into Canterlot. We sat down to catch up, and I confessed all of this to her. When I finished, she told me something that made me realize how foolish I had been, how I had never needed to leave in the first place. She told me that... the mare I had left was feeling lonely, and that she worried that she might never escape that feeling. She told me how the mare missed someone who had left her life quite suddenly, and while she wasn’t sure of the real reason why, she wanted very much to meet him again, if only so she could scold him for ‘leaving a lady such as her all alone.’” You stop to collect your thoughts. Rarity has stayed silent next to you, but you can’t look up. Not yet. There’s one last thing to say. “I told her before I left Canterlot that I would go back home. And the first thing I would do is meet with the mare I left alone, so I could tell her the reason I left, and try and attempt to make things right…” You look up and see Rarity staring at you. Her face now suddenly very red. Matching several of the flowers around you. She turns to look towards the garden. Her mouth dancing a thin line between a smile and a frown, and as you watch her stare out into the garden you take a moment to admire her, and realize how desperately you had missed her. “W-Well.” Rarity stammers out after a moment. “It certainly sounds like her friend is quite knowledgeable.” You nod in agreement. “I would hope so. She is a princess after all.” Rarity stumbles slightly, her legs quivering, and you catch her as she nearly falls backwards into the fountain. “Thank you darling.” She mutters. Still staring off into the garden. You nod, and turn to look out with her. Once again admiring the flowers sway. A few moments pass, and you feel her lean against you. The tension that had been building inside you melts away, and you relax, letting the feeling of her warmth comfort you. “I had no idea you felt that way.” You sigh. “I did a good job of keeping it in. Although I suppose there wasn’t much good about it. Looking back on it.” She bats your shoulder playfully with a hoof. You look down at her, and notice her smiling up at you, her face flush with lingering embarrassment. “None of that now. We may have lost some time together. But we still have much more left. I intend to see to that. Let’s call it a new beginning.” She wraps a foreleg around your arm, pulling you close. You lean into her. Each of you enjoying the others embrace. “You know…” She looks up, her eyes meeting yours. “If we’re going for new beginnings, maybe we should…” Rarity pushes off you, a small grin on her face. “Darling, are you implying what I think you are?” “Actually,” you reach into your pocket and pull out a handful of cue-cards. “Twilight helped me with a bunch of prepared speeches to read out to you, I wasn’t sure which one to go with so I’ve got a couple here.” You begin to flip through them, looking them over. She looks from you to the cue-cards in disbelief. “Did she actually- Of course she did. It's Twilight.” You smirk at her as you put the cue-cards back into your pocket. “Sorry, guess I’ll wing it then?”  Rarity nods in agreement, and you cough, clearing your throat. “My dearest Rarity, long have I wanted to say these words to-” You don’t get far in before a smile forms on her face, and she chuckles quietly before a snort escapes unintended. Surprised, she covers her mouth and looks up at you, but your wide grin breaks down her embarrassment and the smile returns, before breaking down into a fit of lovely laughter. You can’t help but join in, and you’re soon clutching at your sides as the two of you attempt to calm yourselves from the sudden bout of laughter. She composes herself, sitting straighter, and turns to face you, her look is serious, but you can see the smile still lingering. “Darling, if you’re going to attempt to court me, I want to hear it sincerely. Not with whatever scripted nonsense you think would have been appropriate.”  Saying this, she pokes the pocket with your cue-cards for emphasis. You scratch the back of your head nervously. “Ah, heh. Figured that out pretty quick then eh?” You look at her again, and her face softens. “Of course I did darling, you may have left for awhile… a long while. But you are still the same charmingly awkward man I remember you to be. Now. Ask again. Please?” The last word is a question and a request both. You look into her eyes, and find yourself relaxing. The regret and lost moments fading away, replaced instead with hopeful dreams, and a fierce desire to be with the one who means so much to you. You calm yourself and take a deep breath. “Rarity… for the last ten years I’ve spent every night wondering if I made the right choice. And it’s taken me until just now to realize that it wasn’t. The number of things I regret in my life make up a list longer than I care to admit. But the one I will never forgive myself for, is leaving you.” Rarity looks at you lovingly, her eyes begin to glisten in the warmth of the garden, and you struggle to fight back your own forming tears. “I can’t get back the time we’ve lost. But I can promise that I will try everyday to make up for it all. If you’d let me. My body may have traveled off, and left you alone. But I promise you my heart was always here, with you…” Rarity’s smile is infectious, and despite the tears flowing freely between you, the happiness you both have in this moment is the most wonderful feeling you’ve ever experienced. “Rarity… would you like to spend the time we still have, together?” Leaning forward, placing a hoof on your chest, she leans into you and whispers. “Darling, I’d like that very much.” Closing the distance between you, she presses her lips to yours, into the most loving, warm kiss you both can manage. In this moment, and many more sure to come, time slows to a crawl, and you can feel the age flee away from you both.  And for the first time in Ten years. You realize. You're home.