The Equestrian Bureau of Anomalous Investigation

by TerribleSpeller

First published

When Twilight’s fallen to forces unknown, maybe you should pick up the phone

A pony hired by the Royals runs through the rooms of the Equestrian Bureau of Anomalous Investigation, collecting as much data as he could to help them piece together what caused radio silence from the Bureau.

No Such Thing As Control

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Twilight's eyes were locked in a glare towards whatever she saw in front of her. Her office was furnished per her needs. Her desk had papers strewn about, a cup of coffee long gone cold. Everything in an organized harmony.

If one was to pay attention to files and papers strewn about on her desk, one would notice the word Mist mentioned many times in the texts. Many sentences were highlighted using a bright yellow highlighter and there were also circles drawn around several diagrams, pictures, designs, blueprints. What it all meant to the common pony was nothing, but to those who understood what each highlighted sentence meant, what each frantic scribble of hornwriting meant, it was the greatest scientific breakthrough in history! And it was also the worst possible thing to ever be discovered by Equinekind.

A gun slowly pressed against her face, Enigmatic Vendetta's grip on the pistol shook as Twilight sat silently and her face showed no evidence of emotion. Continuing to glare at whatever's in front of her. There was no movement. Not even a single twitch. It was terrifying to the yellow coated earth pony with a black mane. He had never seen such confidence in the face of death in all his service to his nation.

Enigmatic took a deep breath... and pulled the trigger.

As Twilight's body fell to the floor, shrieks filled the building. Enigmatic also fell to the floor as his ears were filled with millions of voices, his pistol fell and slid away from him. The lights flickered, objects began to float, the walls shook. He writhed on the floor as the voices attempted to get into him.

l̴̼͖̈́͆͌̈́ę̵̔͝ṭ̶͖͖͗̈́͛͘ ̷̼̫̇̃ṳ̴̢̪̉͛̅̕ș̷̜̤͖̔̑ ̵̧̩͈̻͊i̷̤̟͙̟̓͗̉n̵̟͈̘̣͒ ̸͓͇̼̋l̶̛̯̀͛é̵̛̝̙͎̋̒t̸̠̬̠̻̽͌ ̴͎̙̄͐ǘ̶̢͌ș̷̣̺̹̔͆̒ ̸̬̠̩̊͐̈̿i̴̭̙̤̓͝n̶̙̽̇̆ ̷͉̇̈́̂̾l̵̗̰̪͑̆̚ê̴̻͕͐̏t̵͚̀ ̶̗̖̖̑͗̐̿ủ̴̡̞́̏s̶͈̈ͅ ̵̺̥̇͗̾̆i̸̛̭̖͌̿ň̶̡̼̻ ̵̝̈́̔͒̀t̵̜̻͗͂̾͝h̸̗̙͚̆r̴̻͙̉̕͝ȫ̶̩͚u̵̪͆̏g̷̙̲̙͆h̶̹̫̉̊ ̸̯̩̤̊t̵̡̲̑̔͘ḣ̷̰̖͓́͝ȩ̷̩̼̥́͆ ̸̧͕̊ş̴̫̞̞̓u̴̧͓̔͋͑ṟ̴͂̌͐̆f̵͚̹̰̮̒̕ą̸̖͓̖̂̆c̵̗̊́́e̶̩͝ ̸͇̪͔̇̊͝ļ̸̛͚͖̪͆̉̚i̴̤̾k̵̫̯͇̉̀͑̚e̵̹̔̌̑ ̶͍̞͒͊ͅa̷̲͖͔͖͊ ̷̧̡̟͎̕ě̸͚̉͘a̶͍̳̱̮̿r̴͙̲̐w̶̡̞̤̦̓ơ̴͚͉̥̬̆̕͝r̷̡̖̹̞̾̋̽m̴͇̹̏͋́̐ ̶̛͕̺̣͉̽ḷ̸̃͗̀̌e̶̫̞̿t̴͔͈̯̽͑̽̑ ̷̞̗̄͆̅ȕ̷̫͛̚͜s̸̯͒̂̔́ ̵̡͕̈́̌̕͠ĭ̸̡̥͖̦̾̊n̴̛̖̦̩̥̉̑͒ ̶͔̦͉̀l̸͈̄͛̿e̴̗̘͖͉͘ṭ̵̋ ̵̮̀u̵͙͌̿̿s̶̡̠̜̊͌̋͝ ̸̢̎ï̷͓͋̒n̵͚̮̐̂

Enigmatic continued to huddle on the floor, hooves covering his ears as the voices harassed him for what felt like forever. And suddenly, they stopped.

Slowly getting back on to his four hooves, Enigmatic looked around the room in fear, the lights had stopped flickering but objects were still floating, the windows behind where Twilight had sat had blurred... somehow.

"Faust help me," he said, before grabbing his pistol, shoving as many files as he could into his saddlebags, before rushing for the room's exit.


The Equestrian Bureau of Anomalous Investigation's headquarters had brutalist architecture, blocky structures that stood out of place in Canterlot's smooth designs. The building stood out like a sore thumb to the populace, many of the nobility's disapproved of its very existence. Often the not they would sneer at it when passing the headquarters.

But today, many stood around in confusion as barricades surrounded the entrance of the building. Royal guard ponies vainly tried to direct the onlookers away, but the weird sounds emanating from inside the building kept them there, intrigued on what could occur in the headquarters that could warrant such an action by the Royal Guard.

Captain Tale Teller rubbed his muzzle in frustration as the noble he conversed with threw another accusation about the situation. He had been dealing with this one damn noble for the last half hour or so, and he still hasn't relented on inquiring what was going on in the building.

"Sir, for the last damn time, what's going in the building is classified,"

"Do you not know who I am? I demand you to tell me what's going in there! We nobles in Canterlot very much opposed the construction of this building in the first place, and only with great reluctance, we allowed it to be built! We would very much like to be able to know what's going on in there!" Whined the noble, a bunch of nobles also onlooking the situation nodded in agreement.

"Sir, for the la-"

Captain Tale's rebuttal to the noble was cut off as a loud shriek emanated from within the Bureau's Headquarters. Several of the Royal Guards near the entrance fell on to the floor writhing and screaming as many of them covered their ears.

Tale - disregarding the noblestallion and his posse - rushed over along with other royal guards who weren't affected by the shriek to help those who were affected. Reaching one of them, Tale Teller grabbed the pony by the head and looked at his face.

"Look at me Soldier! Look at me!" The guard stallion known as Note's eyes were glazed over, looking around in fear, lip quivering in fear. After a moment, he finally focused on the captain.

"T-tale?" His voice was scared, shaky. "Th-they tried to g-get in,"

"What is it Soldier? Tell me!" Tale held his comrade by the shoulders, shaking him in hopes to keep him aware.

"S-so many voices, so many, they don't make sense, egg cracks and the truth will emerge..."

The guard's eyes glazed over, and his body gave one last twitch before falling stiff. Tale looked at the body of his comrade for a few more moments before letting go. But instead of falling to the floor as it should have, the body stayed in its place in the air. Frozen.

"By Faust..." Tale looked at the other affected royal guards, they all were in the same state.

He turned to one of the Royal Guards, a cyan pegasus mare.

"Call the Princesses, this is something way above our pay grade,"


Enigmatic held his pistol tightly as he rounded the corner, occasionally checking his saddlebags. More workers were frozen in place, some were floating in the air. Walking in fear in between them, Enigmatic did not attempt to free the bureaucrats from their predicament, he already tried it earlier and none of his attempts succeeded. He could only look in vain at the ponies' glazed over eyes.

Trotting through the once busy hallways of the Headquarters, he kept an eye out just in case he ran into one more of them. The first time he ran into them, he was lucky to survive. Their faces were pure nightmare fuel, they haunted the halls of the inner headquarters. And they had a weird obsession with paper.

Enigmatic soon came upon a door, with the words proudly proclaiming 'Committee on Paranatural Magical Anomalies'. Pushing upon the door open, Enigmatic observed the room's content. An oak table in the centre, several chairs and papers were strewn about, and a projector left on. There were no signs of anypony being in the room recently.

Closing the door behind him, he carefully walked over to the projector. Noticing that whatever presentation was going here was still being projected. He certainly didn't know what a 'Kant Counter' is, nor what a 'Twilight-Starlight Effect Radiological Anomaly' is. But it certainly sounded bad as the chart on the slide projected onto the wall showed it going past 2000...Humes?

Moving over to move the Projector, he carefully pressed 'next'. It was another chart, this time labelled 'Recorded Appearances of the Starswirl Compromise Void', from what he could gather, they started gathering data since Princess Luna's banishment. And he certainly did not like the upwards graph he was seeing.

The next slide was some scientific mumbo jumbo he didn't understand, he skipped to another slide, it was a picture of a place. It was a clean white lab, and in the middle... was what he could only best describe as a rip in reality, there were so many colours...

A sound shook Enigmatic out of his stupor. Turning around, the door was open. Checking his gun was loaded, Enigmatic cautiously got closer to the entrance of the room. As he reached the edge of the table near the door, he was almost prepared for an attack by one of them. But to his relief, there was nothing there.

Releasing his breath, Enigmatic began gathering all the papers on the table and placed them in his saddlebags, he was hired after all to recover as much information as possible.

After several minutes of paper gathering, Enigmatic exited the room with a tinge of worry. Looking back into the meeting room for anything missed, he couldn't help but feel like he something was watching him. He quickly stepped out of the room and closed the door behind him.


The centre of the Bureau's Headquarters was specifically designed so one could look from the ground level all the way up to the glass ceiling at the top. Often the not, Pegasi would take advantage of such am open environment to fly up to the floors they needed to go to.

Looking up from the position he had on one of the balconies halfway up, he could count roughly twenty different pegasi bureaucrats frozen and floating in the air. Continuing his journey up to the extraction point at the top. Central Command had given him orders to travel from the bottom and to the top of the building. Doing so will make it that they would need fewer journeys to fully grasp the situation in the building.

So far he had travelled seventeen floors and there were still another five to go.

As he rounded a corner heading to the eighteenth floor, Enigmatic stopped in his track as he spotted a new creature.

An almost monstrous growth of fungus was growing on the wall, a bit of it touching the ceiling. He could see some of it growing onto a frozen bureaucrat.

And there was also a blue mist circling the poor pony.

Making sure he kept the fungi at least six steps away from him and keeping an eye on it, Engimatic slowly continued his journey.

At least that was what would have happened if the frozen bureaucrat hadn’t suddenly come to life and lunged at him.

The bureaucrat jumped from it’s prior posistion and attempted to grab by Engimatic’s neck. Dodging the forelegs of the bureaucrat, Enigmatic pulled out his pistol from it’s holster on his saddlebag and took aim at the Bureaucrat. The Bureaucrat landed on it’s four hooves and turned to face Engimatic.

He hesitated when he made eye contact with the Bureaucrat. It’s eyes were blank, there was no evidence of there ever being a consciousness behind those eyes.

Taking advantage of the Enigmatic’s hesistation, the Bureaucrat lunged once more at him, forelegs open wide to grab at him.

A loud sound filled the building as the Bureaucrat’s body fell to the ground. Enigmatic took a step back as he dropped his pistol onto the ground. Pure, unbridled, primal fear filled him after what he had witnessed.

“I’ve got to get out of here,”


Crashing through the door at the end of the staircase, Enigmatic quickly turned around to close the door. Mutiple wounds were visible along his body.

Looking around, he could clearly see he was finally at the top of the building. Clouds and the sun watched him from above, as if they were watching for a climatic end of a story

He should have been more careful back there, what was he thinking checking a body with strange green mist floating around it! Only by Faust’s grace whas he able to get out of that pickle.

Enigmatic looked over the edge of the building, streets below were full of ponies, surronding the buildings. The glint of gold color told him that the Royal Guards were still standing guard as they were at the start of his journey.

The sound of a metal door opening grabbed Enigmatic’s attention and he turned to the door he only just walked through a few moments earlier.

Another body of an unlucky bureaucrat shambled through the door. The eyes glowed an unnatural red as it focused it's gaze upon him.

"e̴͔̹͊̚g̶̗̓̿̏g̸͎̬̐̆͆ ̵̩̥͌e̸̙̘̟̎g̸͚͈̰͊g̴̮̀,̵̜̮͓̿ ̷̙̮͙͚̒͗͂̚s̴̙͖̄̐h̷̩͉̲̠͑̂̏ǎ̶̜̟l̴͕̱̋̎̒͐l̸͎̥̪͚̏̿̚ö̶̩́͑w̶͉̬͌͆͌͘ ̴̥͕̙͋y̴̨̫͔̥̍͛̏o̴͍̖͑̔͜ǘ̸̪r̵͓̄͑̀ͅ ̶̣͒ȩ̶̄x̸̠̿̈̈i̶̙͈͐͠ͅs̷̠͆t̸̢̳͘ȁ̶̡̺̚ñ̸̢͇͓̦̀ċ̷̦͈̉͛̀ẹ̸͈̒̈́ͅ ̸͇̽̋l̷͚̳̹̟͒͌i̶̱̳̻̿́̕k̷̪͔̻͗͋̈́̓ẽ̵̢̹ ̸͓͓͂͆̕ȃ̵̠ ̷̥͙͆͑w̸̜͔͐͊ŏ̵̥͎͖̕͝r̴̘̒̀͂m̸̡͔̅̎̊ ̵͉͕̫̳̽̀̽͘i̶̱̿̃ǹ̶̛̬̤̱͌͒ ̶̬͈̱̇̎͋à̵̧ ̸̢̣̯̰̈́̈͝ẅ̴̗͇́̋̀͘ó̷̢̈́͊͌r̴̞̪̹̓̓̈́m̵̡̮̗̩͝ ̴̰͔̊̔̃̕i̸̳͉͎̔̄͝n̴̛̦̜͚̖̊̚ ̴̡̗͇͑̅̐̂ą̸̨̬̥́͒͋̓ ̷̨̔͑̀͐w̷̗̭͍̯͛o̵̻̿͝ŕ̶̎͑̈́͜m̶̙͙̭̘͆̓ ̸̺̤͂ͅͅi̸̩͑̃ń̴̫̉͝ ̷̈́͜a̶͎͌̄ ̷̝̿̌͝ẇ̷͓̮̹o̷͚̘͗̏̉ṟ̴̡̭̖̔m̴̼͖̗̀͆̚ ̴̥̳̙͊̋͠͠í̵̧̯̻̉n̴̜̓̂͌̚ ̸̲̈́̍̐a̸̺̺̾̂̏͝ ̶̯̩̯̠͗͂͆ẅ̶̡̛̜̪̈o̵̟̩̹̥̍r̷̛̳̼̭̬̆m̷̢̝͖͋͛͝"

Aiming his pistol at him, Enigmatic shouted, "Stand back! I'm armed!"

The bureaucrat lunged at him, and a bullet penetrated through him. The bureaucrat fell to the floor, and Enigmatic took a step back.

To his utmost fear, the pony slowly stood back up, no wound visible on the Bureaucrat's face. Before he could react again the Bureaucrat jumped once more at him, grabbing him and pushing him to the railing. Enigmatic's pistol flew off the ceiling and down along the building.

"s̴͍͚̿t̸̩̮̉o̷͍̞͎͌͜p̵̢̣͎͊ ̸̹͊s̷̨͙̬͓̎̈́̇̓t̶͍͙̖͒o̴̩͐͒͑̊p̵̨̨̪̙̿̅p̴͖̯̐̈́ỳ̶̗̜͘ ̶̛͕̜̱̼͌͝i̶̭̾n̶͕̽͌ ̵͚̆̑l̸̙̮̿̿͝á̶̟̜̹̈n̸̡̤͈͇̍͆̓d̸͉̄̅̑͂ş̴̟̾͜ ̶̜̜͒͛͐͠ȍ̵̰͖̈́̉͜f̵̰̺̹͕̓ ̶̢̠̹͠s̷̪͚̰͑̐͒̀͜a̵̯͕̾̓͜ñ̸̻͙͎̄̐͘ͅd̸̼̤̓͑,̵̙͋̀ ̴͙̦͔̌l̶̯͈̩͙͊e̸̟͎̾m̷̢̛̘͜ṁ̸̘͍͆̉́ě̷̥͙̹̂ ̸͈̫͖̤̅̂͂́í̶̜̭̙̱͝n̶̥̦̯̱͌̈́͛ ̸̮̦̊̈̐l̸̮̊̂ë̶̻̋m̶̙̺͚̺͊̾͑m̷̹̪̟͑e̸̛͎͈̗͎͌̏ ̷̧͌̕į̴̹̿n̶̟̔͋̾ ̵̭̆l̴̝̩̬͐ė̴̹̣̺̹̒m̵̭͂͐ͅm̴̻̰̍̉͐͠e̵͍̐ ̴̪̣͂͠ì̸̹̋͐ṇ̷̨͉̱̾̀ ̷̰͔̣͎̋̂l̵͈͇̩͒e̸̼̝̞̳͑̓̓m̴͍͊͌̌͝m̷͙̀͜ē̸̼̜̻̤̈́̀ ̵̱͈͗̉i̴̟̼̙͋̎͜n̷̡̺͊͊ ̷̪̪͎͙̅̃l̸̢̮̰̒̊e̷̳̭̼̬̋͌̒m̸͕͙̗̓͐m̶̺̫̘̞̏̈́e̷̋͜ ̷̩̖̼̽͛̀į̸̤̻́͑n̶͉̖̔̀̾!̵̞͎̾͘̚͜"

Enigmatic struggled to push back against the possessed bureaucrat, his forelegs pinned to the side. Looking to the right, Enigmatic could see the very bottom of the building.

"Screw you!"

Using his rearlegs, he pushed against the bureaucrat, effectivetly pushing it away, and at the same time pushing Enigmatic off the railing and on a round way trip to the floor twenty stories down.

As he fell, Enigmatic hoped at least something could be recovered from his corpse.

He hit the floor.