> How to be Happy
>  by Leafdoggy
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> Prologue
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The sun beat down into a bed of fog and cast the little village of Trotsylvania in an otherworldly glow. It was the kind of day where you could hear further than you could see, and even in the tiny town with only two streets, it would be easy to get lost if you didn’t know where you were going.

The town was busy, full of creatures eager to take advantage of the fair weather, and bolstered even further by the light but constant breeze that more than made the heat bearable. The town square was absolutely packed, filled to the brim with creatures listening to the town’s crier relay the news of the day. He spoke loudly, having to speak over the creatures using the space to socialize, and that, in turn, made those creatures raise their volume as well. The result was a clamor that could be heard all throughout town, but really, most days were like that. It was just something the townsfolk had gotten used to.

Fluttershy, however, had not even begun to get used to it.

The quiet was one of many things from Ponyville that she hadn’t properly appreciated before. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Trotsylvania, it was a lovely place and she knew that in time she would come to see it as home, but she’d spent only a few months in her new house, and that just couldn’t compare to the years of life spent in Ponyville. She was too used to how she’d lived before. Trotsylvania was just… Different.

Still, as Fluttershy pushed her way through the rear of the crowds with her bags full of groceries, she found a smile on her face. She hated the noise, the crowds, the heat, but the community was different. It was something special, and she got to be a part of it. She wasn’t hidden away in the outskirts shielding herself from society. That part of her life was behind her now, and she’d never look back.

She still gave a sigh of relief when she broke from the crowds and slipped into the castle grounds, though.

From inside the town, Trotsyvania was, for as much as it mattered, a long, thin rectangle of a village. It was surrounded on all sides by high defensive walls, and between those walls was a clutter of homes so dense and jumbled that they made a labyrinth with their alleyways, and that labyrinth held the majority of the town’s citizens. The long, organized strip of buildings that made the street in the middle was occupied mostly by the affluent, be they frequently visited businesses or just creatures in high standing.

The town did have a second street, though, that ran straight across the other. The intersection made the busy town square, but the street itself connected the town’s two large, well-guarded gates.

One gate led outside, into the treacherous bog beyond the wall. Mostly it sat unused, but in recent months it had begun to see traffic again.

The other gate led to what truly made the majority of Trotsylvania.

While the township was, seemingly, just a thin strip of homes, the outer wall stretched into a shape much closer to a square. The vast space left by the discrepancy made up the castle grounds, which utterly dwarfed the town.

As one might expect, the castle grounds held a castle.

At least, “castle” was the closest word to what it was. It had clearly once been a castle, but it had never stopped growing. New wings were added on haphazardly, turrets jutted out in ways that seemed impossible, and entire buildings were connected only by thin strips of hallways. It was a patchwork formed over millennia, and it looked the part.

Fluttershy lived on these grounds, but not in the castle. She had a humble little home just inside the gates that she shared with Pinkie Pie, the love of her life.

It was an awkward little hut, still partially under renovation, but by this point, they’d nearly finished their work. The fresh, clean wood slats had half a coat of tan paint that matched the soft green of the door nicely. The roof had been completely remade, the windows were perfect, and hundreds of flowers bloomed around the house. It was, by all accounts, a perfect little home.

It wasn’t quite right, though.

Closer examination started to reveal oddities throughout the design. Most prominent were the windows, which weren’t windows at all, but rather elaborate picture frames. The paintings held in them were so realistic as to be almost indistinguishable from life, but the panes all had little differences that gave them away, different furniture or off-color walls.

Past that, the strangeness got harder to pin down. The dimensions of the house just felt wrong to look at, they left the observer feeling off-kilter. There was the cellar door, with its old rusted metal bar that held it firmly shut, that sat in stark contrast to the renovations done to the main house. The rafters and bushes seemed far too filled with cobwebs, and even the shadows felt like they fell the wrong way. Nothing about the building looked right.

The strangeness was all built into the house by its original occupant, only ever known as The Artist. She designed it thousands of years ago, and it sat untouched since her death until Fluttershy decided to move in. They could have removed the quirks in the renovations, of course, but Fluttershy decided against it. She wanted to respect The Artist’s vision, even if much of it was lost to time.

Once she was free from the crowds, Fluttershy lightened up considerably. Her shoulders untensed, and she stood up from a hunch she hadn’t realized she’d adopted. If not for how long she’d already been out, she would have considered staying outside and resting in the nice weather, but she was desperate to get off her hooves.

She did make a mental note that they should hang up a hammock, though.

She opened the door quietly and made her way inside, not wanting to disturb Pinkie if she was asleep, and started for the kitchen to unpack the groceries.

Their home was interesting, to say the least. It was the first place Fluttershy and Pinkie had decorated together, and the result was… Bold. The majority of it was pink, of course, but instead of being accented with the blues and yellows Pinkie would normally go for, it was mostly set against dark black, the result of Fluttershy still trying to pin down an aesthetic she enjoyed. The result was a look that they both agreed they would change one day, but neither of them had made any move to actually do that.

The house was a lot bigger on the inside than it looked on the outside. It was two stories, plus the basement that the door outside led to, although there was no access to that from inside the house. The ground floor was divided into only three rooms, one of which was a humble little bathroom, and another which was a humble little kitchen with a table just big enough for the two of them to eat at. The rest of the floor was the living room, and even with all of Fluttershy’s knick-knacks and the vast volume of party supplies Pinkie insisted on stringing up, it was still too big for them to fill. The floor space was almost entirely free, as they only had a small couch and a single comfy chair, and Fluttershy had left most of her animal supplies behind for the creatures of Ponyville to make use of. There was a heavily used, deeply smoke-stained fireplace, and near that was a bed and play area for Angel, but that did nothing to fill the huge sea of space that was their living room.

The second floor was a very different story. The entirety of it was devoted to the master bedroom, but even with all that room, they’d managed to make it crowded. The huge bed that sat in the center didn’t help, with its frilly pink canopy that hung over dark gray and black quilting. The rest of the room was stuffed with, well, everything. They’d both had very full bedrooms back home, with shelves and wardrobes and vanities all packed with a lifetime of things, and neither of them wanted to leave any of it behind, so all of it was brought along. They’d mixed the things about to stop the room from feeling divided, but the pink of Pinkie’s furniture didn’t match at all with the subdued wood that made up Fluttershy’s. That was yet another thing they both agreed they should change, although this time they were both actually trying to think of a solution.

The cellar was, as far as they knew, empty. They’d lived there for months, but neither of them had worked up the courage to go into it.

Once everything was put away, Fluttershy set down her bags and gently floated up the stairs to check on Pinkie.

The canopy over the bed was shut, so she could only see shadows through it, but she did see Pinkie there, breathing softly. Fluttershy smiled softly and approached the bed.

When she opened the curtains and looked in, though, her face sank.

Pinkie was there, but she wasn’t asleep, and she didn’t look good. She was lying face down under the covers, and her mane had lost its volume and covered her face. Her ears drooped sadly, and her pillow was stained with tears.

Fluttershy reached out a hoof and gently touched her shoulder. “Pinkie?”

Pinkie jumped with a start and looked up. “F-Fluttershy?” She quickly wiped her eyes and tried to force a smile. “H-Hi! Um, what’s up?”

Fluttershy frowned and settled down next to Pinkie. “That’s what I should be asking,” she said. “What’s the matter?”

Pinkie looked away from her. “I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“I’m here for you to talk to,” Fluttershy said.

There was a long pause before Pinkie spoke again.

“Are you?”

Fluttershy was shocked. “Of course! I love you, Pinkie, I’ll always be willing to listen to you.”

“I know that,” Pinkie said, looking back at her, “but you’re… You’re not…”

She sniffed hard, and Fluttershy frowned. She knew exactly what Pinkie was talking about. She was reminded of it every time she glanced in a mirror, and it was the whole reason they’d moved to Trotsylvania in the first place.

A few months ago, something happened that changed her. It had drained the color from the bottom half of her mane, and it filled her eyes with crackling shadows. She had no pupils or irises, not anymore, just pits of darkness that were surrounded by channels of pulsating black. One glance at her, and it was impossible not to notice that something about her was different.

What happened had made her stronger, but it came with costs. One of those costs was Fluttershy herself, and she’d paid it in full. None of them really knew what that meant, but all her friends knew she’d paid that cost.

Clearly, Pinkie knew it all too well.

“Pinkie,” Fluttershy said, slowly and calmly, “I’m alright. You can see me, you can feel me. I’m here.”

“But for how long?” Pinkie sniffed hard. “What if I wake up one day and you’re just gone?”

“I won’t let that happen,” Fluttershy told her. “I promise.”

“You can’t promise that, though! You don’t know, you’re just… Just lying to make me feel better.”

“You’re right, I can’t know,” Fluttershy said, “but it’s what I believe. You know how hard I’d fight to come back to you.”

“Yeah, but…” Pinkie sighed and laid her head on her hooves. “Only if you can.”

Fluttershy frowned and squeezed Pinkie tight. “I’m sorry you’re scared,” she whispered, “but I’m here now, right? You know that as long as I’m here, you’ll always have me. You just have to try to believe that I won’t go away.”

Pinkie leaned against Fluttershy weakly and nodded. “Mm-hm.”

“Is there anything you can think of that would help?”

“I… I wanna go to my thinking spot,” Pinkie said. “Just… Be alone with myself for a bit.”

“Of course.” Fluttershy nodded. “Why don’t we go spend a few days in Ponyville? We can see our friends, you can go think, and if we have time I could even try to find somepony to look after the animals.”

“Yeah, okay,” Pinkie mumbled. “That sounds nice.”









Pinkie didn’t go to Ponyville from the train station. She let Fluttershy go ahead, but she wanted to get to her thinking spot as soon as possible, so she turned and walked straight into the Everfree Forest.

Luckily, it didn’t take her too long to find. Before long she was walking down into a huge, glowing cave.

She knew the cave well. She’d known it for a long time, and while it caused her trouble in the past, it was also a great place for her to unravel her thoughts. The perfect reflection of herself she saw in the mirror pool was like a window into her very self, and given the right tools, nopony was better at picking apart why she felt bad than she was.

Loud crunches echoed through the cave as she crushed loose gravel under her hooves. The surface of the water shimmered with light, and tiny ripples flowed through it as drops of water fell from stalactites high above.

There was a specific rock Pinkie usually sat on when she came here. It was huge, it jutted out over the water like a diving board, and its smooth surface made it just comfortable enough to sit on for long hours at a time. It was like it was made for her.

So, she dusted off her rock and made herself comfortable, then looked down over the edge at her reflection.

A bubbly pink pony stared back, a wide grin on her face and her mane in tangles.

Pinkie sighed as she watched the reflection warp under the tiny waves. “I don’t even know why I came here.”

“For me, silly.”

It was easy to imagine her reflection talking back to her, and the reflection was right. That was the only reason she ever went to her thinking spot. Usually her thoughts were too jumbled to sort out, but she could get them out in a conversation. She had Fluttershy, of course, but sometimes that wasn’t enough. Sometimes she needed to be both sides of the conversation, and at times like that she came here, to the mirror pool.

“What are you even going to do for me, though?”

The reflection shrugged. “I’unno.”

Pinkie huffed. “What a waste. You can’t prove she’s not gonna disappear.”

“Well, I can’t prove anypony will do anything,” the reflection replied. “That doesn’t mean Rarity’s gonna go live on the moon tomorrow.”

“But there’s no reason to believe that would happen!”

“Okay, well, Twilight could’ve gone to live in Canterlot for, like, years. You weren’t constantly afraid of that.”

“Yes I was!” Pinkie frowned. “I’m always afraid of that stuff.”

“Okay, well, what do you do to stay happy despite all that stuff?”

“I don’t know,” Pinkie grumbled. “I mean, maybe I didn’t. Maybe I’ve never been happy and it’s all just been an act.”

“Oh, that’s just silly.”

“Is it?” Pinkie stood up and messed her mane up until it was big and fluffy again. “See? I can just fake it.”

The reflection stifled a giggle. “C’mon, you know that’s not convincing at all.”

Pinkie’s mane fell back down around her shoulders. “Oh, what do you know?”

“Uh, everything you do? Duh.”

Pinkie scowled at her reflection. “Don’t make fun of me!”

“I wasn’t! I was making fun of m—Oh.” The reflection laughed. “Oopsie.”

Pinkie huffed and stomped her hoof. “Come on, that’s not—”

When she slammed her hoof down on the smooth, slippery stone, it slid straight off and sent Pinkie toppling over. She let out a yelp and scrambled to catch herself as she fell, but all she managed to do in her panic was push herself forwards just enough that, instead of falling onto the rock, she tipped straight over the edge and plummeted towards the water.

She made a huge splash that echoed through the cave for almost a minute as the water settled.

Then a pink hoof shot out and grabbed the shore, followed by another, and then a pink head and mane. As Pinkie pulled herself up out of the water, she shook her head vigorously, and once the water was out her mane poofed out into its normal, pillowy shape.

“Huh,” she said. “Guess I just needed a dip.”

With that, she hopped away and up the long ramp that led back to Everfree Forest.

She didn’t even notice when, back in the cave, another hoof came out of the pond and dragged its own pink pony from the depths. This Pinkie stood still, dripping water from her long, straight mane with a bleak frown etched so deeply into her face it seemed like it might never leave.
> Chapter 1: Meet and Greet
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Fluttershy whistled as she flitted around her old cottage with a duster. A gentle breeze flowed in through the window, birds sat on the windowsill, and mice squeaked in the rafters. She’d already swept the floors and cleaned out the various animal homes strewn about, and she still had a full day ahead of cleaning and tidying, but that didn’t bother her. She knew how to make the most of her time alone.

That time alone was short-lived, though, because hardly any time had passed when the door popped open and Pinkie hopped in with a bright grin.

“I’m back!”

Fluttershy’s eyes went wide. “A-Already?” She flew down and quickly wrapped Pinkie in a hug. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m great!” Pinkie giggled. “I haven’t felt this good since, like… When was your birthday? Since then!”

Fluttershy smiled and nuzzled Pinkie. “Oh, I’m so glad. Seeing you sad makes me feel so… So…”

“Sad?”

Fluttershy was quiet for a moment, then chuckled. “Yeah, that’s it.”

“So, whatcha up to?” Pinkie tilted her head curiously. “Anything I can help with?”

Fluttershy kissed Pinkie’s nose, then finally let go of her and stepped back. “Oh, I was just doing some cleaning. Don’t worry about it.”

“You sure? You don’t have to pretend you don’t want help just ‘cuz I was sad.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “No, no, that’s not it. It’s just not very important, is all. Just something to keep me occupied while I waited.”

Pinkie shrugged. “If you say so. What now, then?” A thought struck her, and she pouted. “We don’t have to go back home, do we? I mean, we just got here!”

Fluttershy laughed under her breath. “No, we’re still staying, don’t worry. Actually, we have plans for lunch!”

“We do?” Pinkie looked around, as though she’d find something to explain things to her. “Did I forget about that?”

“No, silly, it’s a surprise.” Fluttershy flew over to the door, where she’d already left herself a nice scarf and a floppy hat, and started to get ready. “Trust me, you’ll be happy to see who we’re meeting.”

Pinkie grinned and hopped up beside Fluttershy. “Who is it? Is it Rarity, is that why you’re dressing up?”

Fluttershy shook her head and opened the door. “No, not Rarity.”

“Uhh, Spike?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Ooh, I bet it’s Braeburn!”

“Why would I dress up to meet Braeburn?”

Pinkie kept guessing as they walked, shoulder to shoulder, towards Ponyville.

A few minutes later, there was a rustling in the trees near Fluttershy’s cottage. Birds scattered as another Pinkie emerged from the woods, sad and damp with a mane full of twigs and leaves, and slowly dragged herself up to the house.

She knocked on the door before pushing it slowly open. “Fluttershy?” Her voice was meek and quiet, almost like she was afraid to talk at all. “Are you home?”

When no answer came, she pushed the door open far enough to see inside, but she didn’t go in.

“Fluttershy?” She called out louder this time. “I could really use some… Somepony to, um…” She trailed off indecisively.

Something squeaked down by her hooves and caught her attention. A little white bunny, looking up at her with a pitiful frown.

“Oh, hi Angel,” Pinkie whispered. “Is Fluttershy here?”

Angel shook his head. Pinkie whimpered softly.

“Well, alright… Do you know where she went?”

Angel nodded and responded in a series of vague points and squeaks.

Pinkie tilted her head. “I… I’m sorry, Angel, I don’t know what you’re saying.”

Angel glared at her and squeaked some more.

“What do you mean, ‘yes I do?’ Only Fluttershy can understand you.”

Angel rolled his eyes and decided to just hop up onto Pinkie’s back and point her in the right direction.

“Ponyville?”

Angel nodded.

“Do you know where?”

Angel hopped back inside and pointed at his food bowl.

“She went to get you more food?” Pinkie looked confused. “But you have plenty.”

Angel slapped his forehead and shook his head, then pointed again at the food.

“She… Went out to eat?”

Angel nodded furiously.

“Without…” Pinkie whined and looked down at the floor. “Well, um, thank you, Angel. I’ll pick up a treat for you, okay?”

Before she left, Angel skipped back over to Pinkie and hugged her leg, which brought a tiny smile out of her.

It faded quickly once she was on the path into Ponyville, though.

“Why…” She mumbled under her breath as she walked without looking at the road ahead. “Why would she go out without me?”

This thought persisted as she made her way into town, and it kept her from seeing the world around her. She didn’t feel the pleasantly warm sun, nor did she hear the quiet din of happy ponies going about their days. She didn’t feel the wind in her mane or the soft gravel under her hooves, and she definitely didn’t notice the strange looks she was getting from some of the ponies that passed her by.

“Was I supposed to meet her somewhere? I guess I could’ve forgotten,” she was thinking aloud. “I mean, I forget everything else… Where would it be, though? I like everything, and she never picks her own favorites. Maybe…”

“Yo, Pinks!” A brash voice from above cut her off mid-thought and brought her attention skyward.

Up above her, wearing a familiar, naturally-smug grin was Spitfire, captain of the Wonderbolts and, in recent months, her sister’s girlfriend.

She landed heavily in front of Pinkie, and Pinkie was able to get a good look at her. Her mane was slicked back carefully, and she had on a snug vest that, while not showy itself, did a fantastic job of accentuating how fit she was. Even her sunglasses were more formal than her normal pair, although not by much, and mostly by virtue of just being smaller.

She tilted her head down and looked over her glasses at Pinkie. “Wow, you look… Bad.”

“Sorry…” Pinkie frowned and looked away from her.

“Nah, it’s fine, it’s just… Well, I guess I didn’t really believe you’d be all that different.”

“I’ll be better soon,” Pinkie said. “Don’t worry about me.”

Spitfire pursed her lips and tried, unsuccessfully, to pick some of the debris from Pinkie’s mane. “Look, let’s just go to lunch, yeah? Get your mind off things.”

“Actually, I’m kind of looking for Fluttershy,” Pinkie said. “Sorry.”

Spitfire raised an eyebrow. “She get lost or something? Even I can find a burger joint in this place.”

“I don’t know,” Pinkie said. “She just wasn’t there when I got back to the house.”

“She…” Spitfire put a hoof to her forehead in exasperation. “Did she not even tell you that you two were meeting us for lunch?”

“Huh?”

Spitfire shook her head. “I swear, you two need a planner or something. Just… Come on, I know where we’re going.”

“I… Alright.”

It was a short but awkward walk to Ponyville’s hayburger diner. Spitfire tried to keep the mood light, talking up a storm and cracking jokes, but Pinkie was, for the most part, unresponsive. She just stared at the ground as they walked along, and every so often Spitfire had to grab her and put her back on the right course.

It was only a few minutes of walking, though, and then they were at their destination.

“So anyway,” Spitfire was saying as a bell chimed above the door to the diner and she walked inside, “I told her, ‘listen, I don’t care what Maud says, I ain’t using granite! It’ll fall right through the clouds!’” Spitfire laughed at her own story. “Then Marble gets real mad, starts to tell me—”

Spitfire stopped talking when, beside her, Pinkie visibly flinched back. She followed her gaze, and it was easy to see why.

The restaurant was nearly empty. A single pony sat at the bar, and a couple of booths were in use, but only one had any significant noise coming from it. 

Marble had her back to the door and was listening intently to the other Pinkie ramble on about something insignificant, but Fluttershy wasn’t paying attention anymore. She’d looked up when she heard Spitfire come in, and now her eyes were locked onto the sad, lonely eyes of the Pinkie Pie that just walked in.

Spitfire furrowed her brow. “Now what in the sam hill is—”

She was cut off by the sound of Pinkie, beside her, choking out a pained, terrified cough. “I…” Her voice was far off and terribly cracked. “I-I… I can’t—”

Then she turned and ran out the door.

Fluttershy was out of her seat in an instant. “No, wait!” She shouted futilely for Pinkie to stop and chased her into the street.

At Fluttershy’s outburst, Marble and the other Pinkie stopped their conversation and looked at her in shock, but by that point the action had already happened. All they saw was a very bewildered Spitfire holding open a door.

Outside, Fluttershy flew in front of Pinkie and grabbed her in a tight hug to make her stop running. “Please,” she whispered, “what’s going on?”

Pinkie pushed away from her and wiped tears from her eyes. “Forget it,” she said. “Forget you saw me.”

“I can’t do that, Pinkie.”

“I’m not…” She mumbled something indistinct under her breath.

“What?” Fluttershy tried to step closer, but she stepped away. “I don’t understand.”

“I said I’m not Pinkie!” She spoke louder than she meant to, and a few ponies on the street looked their way curiously before quickly shuffling on. “I just saw Pinkie, she’s in there!” She pointed wildly back at the building.

“But what about you?” Fluttershy frowned and let out a quiet, worried whine. “What happened? Where did you—or, her, or… What happened?”

“How should I know? I just got back from my thinking spot and you were gone, and then I came here and found… Me.”

“Did something happen at the mirror pool?”

“I mean, I—” She pursed her lips. “Oh. Yeah. I fell in.”

Fluttershy inhaled through her teeth. “That pool is full of strange magic, Pinkie. That’s probably—” 

“Not Pinkie.”

“Come on, of course you are. Who else would you be?”

She shrugged. “Iunno, but that’s Pinkie, and I’m not her. I mean, if she was just a copy like before you would’ve noticed!”

“Well…” Fluttershy sighed and nodded. “Yeah, I would have. But that works for you, too! I know you well enough to know that neither of you are just copies.”

“It doesn’t matter if I’m a copy. I’m not her. I mean, look at me!” She gestured broadly to her flat mane. “This isn’t Pinkie!”

“I’m always here for you when you feel bad,” Fluttershy told her. “It doesn’t make you any less—”

“Why?” She took another step away from Fluttershy. “You always stuck around to get her back. Well, now she’s there! You don’t need me.”

“I stuck around because I love you.”

“You love her.” She sniffed hard, and tears started to flow. “What if I’m stuck like this? If she came out happy and I came out sad, that’s gotta mean something. What if I just am the sad part?”

“I would still love you,” Fluttershy said. “I never stopped loving you when you felt bad.”

“You loved me because she was still in me. I made you miserable!”

“I love every part of Pinkie,” Fluttershy told her.

“Don’t lie to me! We both know you’d be happier if she never got like this.”

Fluttershy frowned. “I don’t… I don’t know what to say, but I can’t just let you disappear. I mean, maybe we could undo this, or—”

“But what if I’m really not in her anymore? We can’t undo that, we can’t make her sad again.”

“I…” Fluttershy looked down and bit her lip. “We can at least figure out what’s going on and go from there. I can’t just let you leave, though. I won’t just abandon you, Pinkie.”

“I’m not Pinkie!” She stomped her hoof angrily. “Pinkie is happy, and bouncy, and fluffy, and everything else she always stopped being when she got sad. I’m just that miserable little pony who hated rocks that she left behind when she came here.”

“Well, I have to call you something,” Fluttershy said, “because I’m not letting you leave.”

She huffed. “Fine, just… Call me Pinkamena, I guess. She hated the name just as much as the rocks, so I might as well take it.”

“Okay… Pinkamena.” Fluttershy took another tentative step forward, and this time Pinkamena didn’t step back. “I’m not going to leave you, okay? I promise. I know you think I only liked the other parts of Pinkie, but I feel the same thing looking at you that I feel when I look at her.”

“But I can’t.” Pinkamena sobbed suddenly. “Fluttershy, I love you. If I’m gonna be like this forever, how can I put you through that? It’s not fair! Everything about me hurts you. I just can’t do that to you!”

Fluttershy reached out and touched Pinkamena’s cheek. Pinkamena flinched at first, but then let the gesture happen. “The only reason I ever got hurt was because I wanted to see you happy,” Fluttershy said, “and I still want that. Even if you won’t be happy in the same way as her, I want to help you be happy.”

“We don’t even know if I can be happy, though.”

“But we can try,” Fluttershy told her, “and we can hope. I don’t believe anypony can be incapable of being happy.”

“Do you really think that? Do you actually believe I can be happy even if I’m… That part of her?”

“Absolutely.”

Fluttershy held out her leg to offer Pinkamena a hug, and she fell into it with a broken sob.

“I love you, Fluttershy,” Pinkamena said.

“I love you, too, Pinkamena,” Fluttershy replied.
> Chapter 2: Dinner and a Show
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Nah, hold up, you lost me.”

Pinkie, Marble and Spitfire were still in their booth, having decided to trust the situation to Fluttershy. Marble was leaning forward with her head propped up on her hooves as she listened intently to the other two talk. Spitfire was pressed up against her, a wing outstretched to wrap around her loved one’s shoulders. Pinkie was lounging against the wall with her hooves propped up on the bench.

They couldn’t see Fluttershy or Pinkamena from their booth, and had decided that moving to see what was happening was a step too far, so instead, Pinkie was telling them stories of their recent trials.

“I don’t see how any of that made her eyes look like that,” Spitfire continued.

Pinkie shrugged. “It just kinda happened.”

Spitfire groaned. “Fine, well, why’s she just walking around like that? She looks ridiculous!”

Marble nudged Spitfire’s side and pouted at her. “Be nice.”

“This is nice,” Spitfire argued. “Somepony’s gotta tell her.”

“She knows it looks weird,” Pinkie said. “Fluttershy just doesn’t like to hide stuff like that. She says it feels like a step back.”

“Well, maybe a step back doesn’t always hurt, especially when not taking it makes everypony look at you like—”

The bell above the diner’s door chimed, and Spitfire stopped short. All three of them turned to see Fluttershy walk in with Pinkamena held snugly under a wing.

She walked right up beside the table and smiled at the group. Pinkamena had her eyes glued to the floor. 

“Hey, everypony,” Fluttershy said quietly. “Um, so, I’m not really sure what happened, but… Well, this is Pinkamena.” She gave Pinkamena a squeeze that she hoped would be reassuring, but Pinkamena just recoiled in on herself further.

They all reacted with some shock, but Marble was clearly the most surprised. “But you hate that name,” she said.

“Pinkie hates that name,” Pinkamena mumbled.

Marble looked confused. “But aren’t you—”

“I’m not Pinkie.”

“Why not?” Pinkie asked.

Pinkamena shied away from the sound of her voice. “I’m just not.”

Pinkie frowned. “You can be Pinkie if you want. I could come up with another name.”

“See?” Pinkamena shook her head. “That’s why you’re Pinkie.”

“Alright, let’s not just stand here,” Fluttershy said. “We can figure everything out once we’re sitting down. Where do you want to sit?”

“Um…” Pinkamena looked around the table briefly. “I, uh… I kinda wanna sit next to Marble, I think…”

Marble looked at Spitfire. “Is it alright if—”

“Yeah, it’s cool,” Spitfire said. She kissed Marble’s forehead, then got up to make room. As the others sat down, she went and grabbed a chair from one of the diner’s tables and set it up at the end of the table for herself.

When Pinkamena took her seat, Marble grabbed her hoof lovingly and gave her a kind smile, and Pinkamena did her best to smile back.

Pinkie was the first one to talk again. “So where’d you come from?” Fluttershy frowned at her for her brashness, but Pinkie just shrugged.

“I think we got split up at the mirror pool,” Pinkamena said.

Marble gasped and huffed. “You know you’re not supposed to play there! It’s dangerous!”

“I wasn’t playing,” Pinkamena said, “I was just… I go there when I’m sad.”

“What the heck’s a mirror pool?” Spitfire asked.

“It’s a magic pond in a cave that makes clones,” Pinkie told her.

Spitfire looked over her glasses at Pinkie. “And you’re shocked that it made a clone of you?”

“It’s supposed to need magic words!” Pinkie pouted. “It’s not my fault the legends didn’t say anything about just falling in.”

“I don’t understand, though,” Marble said. “Last time, your clones were… Well, they weren’t like either of you.”

Fluttershy nodded. “That’s the troubling part. As far as I can tell, neither of them are clones.”

“So there’s just two Pinkies now?” Marble asked.

“Not Pinkie,” Pinkamena muttered.

“But what about when you feel better?” Marble asked her.

Pinkamena frowned. “I’m not gonna feel better. I can’t. My ‘better’ is sitting over there,” she said, and pointed hard at Pinkie.

“It’s only been a couple of hours,” Marble told her, “you can’t know that.”

“I’m not gonna lie to myself and pretend it’ll all be okay.”

“I hate to say it,” Spitfire spoke up, “but I kinda agree. I mean, what’s more likely, that the pool made two Pinkies and one just happened to be sad, or that the pool took that part of Pinkie and used it to make another pony?”

“That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t hope for the best, though,” Marble argued.

“I bet she agrees with me,” Pinkamena said with a gesture towards Pinkie.

Pinkie frowned, and her ears drooped. “I… I don’t wanna…” Her voice trailed off.

“But you do,” Pinkamena said.

Pinkie whined softly and turned her head away.

“See? I bet she’s known the whole time that something was different.”

“Come on,” Fluttershy said, “that isn’t fair.”

“So?” Pinkamena pointed at Pinkie. “Can you tell? Can you feel that I’m not there?”

Pinkie lowered her head and made an indiscernible noise.

“Pinkamena, please,” Fluttershy said.

“No! I wanna hear her say it,” Pinkamena said. “I wanna hear her tell all of you that she knows I’m gone and she’s glad.”

The bell above the door chimed as the only other customers quietly slid out of the building.

“Tell them,” Pinkamena demanded. “You owe me that! At least don’t lie to me!”

“Of course I’m happy!” Pinkie turned back with tears in her eyes. “How could I not be? All my life I felt something inside me that never stopped hurting, and then today it was just gone. I didn’t know it was hurting you instead! I just knew I felt better!”

“You know about me now, though,” Pinkamena said, “but you’re still happy! You’re glad it’s me and not you.”

“I’d take it back if I could!” Pinkie was full-on crying now, and it cracked her voice badly.

“That’s easy to say when you can’t,” Pinkamena replied. “You get to hide behind that, telling yourself you would if you could, so it’s okay if you’re happy! It’s okay that you secretly hope we never find a way to make it possible for you to take it back!”

“That’s not fair!” Pinkie sniffed and wiped her eyes. “I can’t just not be glad that I feel better. That doesn’t mean I don’t want you to feel better, too.”

“But if you really had to choose one of us to hurt, you’d choose me.” Pinkamena turned her head away to hide the tears that were welling up. “I knew this was a bad idea,” she mumbled as she climbed out of the booth. “Don’t follow me.”

Before the others could respond or try to stop her, Pinkamena stormed off and left the diner.

Pinkie burst into sobs and dropped her head to the table. “I wouldn’t,” she mumbled between choked breaths. “I wouldn’t pick her. I know I wouldn’t.” Fluttershy rubbed her back softly, unsure of what to say.

“I’m gonna go after her,” Marble said.

“You sure that’s a good idea?” Spitfire asked.

“No.” Marble stood up and made for the door.

“You want my help?” Spitfire called out.

“No, thank you,” Marble called back.

After the door clicked shut, Spitfire eyed Pinkie and Fluttershy before awkwardly sidling out of her chair and heading to the bar to get some food.

Pinkie coughed, and Fluttershy patted her back. “She didn’t mean it, Pinkie.”

“Yes she did,” Pinkie said. “I’d know if she just wanted to hurt me. She really thinks I’d do that to her.”

“You know you didn’t always see things right when you were upset.”

“But…” Pinkie buried her head in her hooves. “But what if she was right? She knows me, Fluttershy. She knows how I think. I could always make up any ridiculous reasoning to justify thinking everypony else would do bad things, but she can’t do that for me. She knows all the bad thoughts I have.”

“Pinkie, slow down.” Fluttershy squeezed Pinkie’s shoulders tight. “You’re letting your thoughts run away from you.”

“But she knows, Fluttershy. I didn’t think straight when I was like her, sure, but that doesn’t mean I never thought bad things the rest of the time. I’m not a good pony, Fluttershy! I pretend I am, but she knows better, and you saw how much she hated me!”

“She didn’t hate you, Pinkie, she was just hurting.”

Pinkie shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. She was right. I would pick her.”

“No, you wouldn’t. You’re a good pony, Pinkie.”

“Am I? I know what the mirror pool does, I knew it was weird that I felt better after I fell in. If we never ran into her, I would’ve just lived the rest of my life being happy because she was out there somewhere hurting.”

“I know you, Pinkie. If you knew she was there, you would have done everything in your power to help her.”

“Like she said, that’s easy to say. We don’t know that. We don’t know I’m not a bad pony, we don’t know that—”

She was cut off by the sound of a plate clattering onto the table in front of her. She looked up to see Spitfire, having just dropped a piece of pie in front of her.

“Knock it off,” Spitfire told her.

“H-Huh?” Pinkie wiped her tears away with a confused look.

Spitfire pushed the pie towards her. “Quit talking. Quit thinking, even. Just eat the pie.”

“But—”

Spitfire lowered her glasses and glared. “No buts. I know a spiral when I see one. No use trying to course-correct, you just gotta drop it all and start from the top.”

Pinkie looked blankly at her for a moment, then nodded and laughed through the tears. “Thanks, Spitfire. I needed that.”









Marble stepped out into a light drizzle that had moved in while they were talking. It wasn’t much, not even enough to really muddy the ground, but it made the world feel cold and dark. The splash of a puddle caught her attention, and she turned to see Pinkamena walking away from the center of town.

She ran to catch up and started walking beside Pinkamena without a word.

“I said not to follow me.”

“Well, I followed anyway.”

Pinkamena sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“I understand.”

“I shouldn’t have let Fluttershy pull me in there.” Pinkamena kicked a pebble, and it splashed quietly into a nearby puddle. “I shouldn’t have let Pinkie find out about me. She could’ve just been happy.”

“Mm.”

“I just…” Pinkamena shook her head. “I didn’t wanna disappoint Fluttershy.”

Marble didn’t say anything.

“Why are you here?” Pinkamena looked at her. “I made Pinkie cry. You should hate me.”

“We’ve all made Pinkie cry. I don’t hate Limestone.”

“That’s different, though. She’s… She’s family.”

“You’re family.”

“I’m not Pinkie.”

“Aren’t I lucky, then. I’ve got the best four big sisters in the world.”

Pinkamena sighed and gave Marble a small smile. “Thanks.”

Marble smiled back. “Mm-hm.”
> Chapter 3: Thunder and Lightning
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So, now what?”

Since they began their walk, the rain had only picked up, and so Marble and Pinkamena had ducked under the awning in front of Ponyville’s general store to escape it. Heavy drops pounded the fabric overhead, and every so often a gust of wind would pick up and blow a spray of water into them.

“What do you mean?” Pinkamena asked.

“Are you gonna go back to Trotsylvania with Pinkie and Fluttershy?”

“I…” Pinkamena frowned. “Right. That’s Pinkie’s home, not mine. I just… I didn’t even think about it.”

“It’s just as much yours as it is Pinkie’s,” Marble told her. “I was just wondering what you actually want.”

“I wanna be Pinkie again.”

Pinkamena hadn’t thought about what she was saying, and as soon as it was out in the air she regretted it. She couldn’t help but look away from Marble in shame as the truth of it washed over her.

Marble frowned and leaned against her big sister. “Your trip is still a few more days, you have time to think. You’re always welcome back at the farm, too.”

She winced. “No, I… I can’t go back to that.”

“I get it.”

They fell silent for a moment and listened to the sound of the rain. The rhythmic beat above slowly picked up its tempo, and as they listened a crash of thunder broke through the noise.

A surge of wind blew through, and Marble squealed as it kicked up some mud and sprayed her with it. Wordlessly, Pinkamena moved to that side to shield her little sister.

“You should stay with them tonight, at least,” Marble said after a while.

“I don’t know… I mean, I have the Sugarcube Corner to go back to.”

“You can’t figure things out without talking with them.”

“I guess, but I—”

There was a loud splash as a set of hooves landed in a puddle nearby. “There you are,” Spitfire said as she trotted over to them. “I was getting worried!”

“Because of rain?” Marble raised an eyebrow at her. “In Ponyville?”

“I—” Spitfire pursed her lips. “C’mon, there’s lightning.”

Marble rolled her eyes.

Spitfire huffed. “Whatever, just… If I’m gonna fly you back to the farm, we gotta go before the storm gets any worse.”

“Alright,” Marble said. She turned to Pinkamena and smiled softly. “I’m glad we got to talk. Come visit soon, okay?”

“I, uh… Maybe,” Pinkamena said noncommittally.

“And go back to Fluttershy’s!” Marble’s look got stern for just a second.

“I don’t know…”

“For me?” Marble asked.

“That’s not fair.” Pinkamena pouted. “You know I can’t say no to you.”

“Too bad.” Marble stuck out her tongue playfully, then trotted over to Spitfire, who shielded her from the rain with an outstretched wing. “Love you, Pinkamena. See you soon.”

“Love you, too,” Pinkamena replied quietly.

“Oh, yeah,” Spitfire added, “they said to tell you they were going back to the cottage. They didn’t wanna get stuck out in the rain.”

With that, Spitfire hopped into the air and grabbed Marble before speeding off into the clouds.

Once they were out of sight, Pinkamena sighed and looked down at the muddy ground. “The cottage…” She shook her head and stepped out into the rain. “Fine.”

Pinkamena trudged slowly through the empty streets of Ponyville. She ignored the rain, didn’t bother to avoid puddles, and let the world pelt her with whatever it pleased. Mud sprayed at her legs, leaves flew into her mane, and more than once she absentmindedly scratched at an itchy spot on a leg or her face and covered herself with streaks of grime.

As she walked, she dwelled on Marble’s words. On what she wants. On what she meant when she said she wanted to be Pinkie again.

She shook her head. “Stupid,” she grumbled under her breath.

Soon enough the uniformly packed homes of Ponyville started to drop off, and Pinkamena found herself at the edge of town. The roads were a lot worse out there, far less traveled and thus much looser, and the lack of buildings meant there was nothing blocking the dirt from the onslaught of rain. It took only a few steps for the ground to change under her, to stop being solid. Her hooves sank several inches into the mud with every step, and they made wet pops as she pulled them free of the grip of earth.

Luckily, it wasn’t a terribly long walk through this part of town. Fluttershy’s old cottage was outside Ponyville, yes, but it wasn’t that far out. A few minutes’ walk from the outskirts on a nice day, and no more than ten in even the worst weather.

With nothing to occupy her thoughts, it still felt like an eternity of travel, but soon enough Pinkamena turned onto the long, winding slope that led up to the cottage. She could see the hoofprints from the other two pressed cleanly into the deep mud, and couldn’t help but notice how close the sets of hooves were.

She pushed the thought from her mind as she pushed her hooves up the slope. It wasn’t steep by any means, but the slippery ground made it a struggle nonetheless. Just the few feet up to the front door felt like a mountain, and all she could do was watch the door slowly come closer to her as she walked.

She was almost at the top when she made a misstep. Her hoof came down on an edge of the path that was raised up off the ground around it, and the unexpected lack of ground made her ankle twist awkwardly underneath her. Her leg buckled, and in her efforts to keep from hurting herself, she wound up slipping and tumbling down the hillside.

It wound up as less of a tumble and more of a skid as she landed on her side and dug into the soft dirt. A wide, shallow groove marked her path as she fell down the slope and came to rest on another piece of the path, where it wound back on itself.

When she came to a rest, Pinkamena didn’t move. She wasn’t hurt, and she hadn’t fallen far, but she still felt tears threatening to well up.

“Stupid Pinkamena,” she mumbled to herself. She tried to wipe an eye with the back of one of her legs, but flinched when it stung badly thanks to the mud. “Can’t even walk up a hill right.”

After a moment she finally gathered up the strength to move, and she pushed herself back to her hooves. Her entire side was dark and slick with wet earth, but she ignored it and pushed herself up the hill once again.

She couldn’t be sure thanks to the rain, but she thought she felt tears fall down her cheek as she finally walked up to the door. She almost walked right in, but as she reached out her hoof she changed her mind and knocked quietly.

Wind and rain assaulted her from behind as she stood in silence and waited.

After a minute, Fluttershy opened the door. “Hel—” She gasped when she saw the state Pinkamena was in, and immediately stretched a wing around her and pulled her inside. “Oh, no, what happened?”

Pinkamena sniffed and shrugged. She didn’t walk in any further than she was pushed.

Fluttershy clicked the door shut and hurried over to a closet to grab a stack of towels. She dropped all but one on the floor in front of Pinkamena, then started using the one she kept to wipe the grime from her face.

“Why didn’t you just come inside?” Fluttershy frowned deeply. “You don’t need to knock.”

Pinkamena dodged the question. “Where’s Pinkie?”

“She’s taking a nap,” Fluttershy said. “Today was hard on all of us.”

Pinkamena whined. “I… I hurt her, didn’t I?”

“I…” Fluttershy sighed. “Yes, Pinkamena, you did. Neither of us are upset with you, we know you didn’t mean to, but she was hit hard by the things you said.”

“I’m…”

“You can apologize when she wakes up,” Fluttershy said. “For now, you should really go get cleaned up.”

Pinkamena nodded and picked up one of the towels, then made her way to the bathroom without saying anything else.

After the door was shut, Fluttershy let out a long sigh and walked into the kitchen. She rinsed herself off quickly, then busied herself with making tea.

As she waited for the water to boil, she looked absentmindedly out the window. Somewhere in the distance, a lightning strike lit up the sky. The kettle started to whistle before she could hear the thunder.

She poured the tea into mugs for herself and Pinkamena, then poured just the right amount of sugar into her own. She hesitated before Pinkamena’s, though, and ultimately decided to let her decide for herself how much she wanted.

Then she sat at the little kitchen table that sat against the window and waited.

A very damp Pinkamena emerged from the bathroom around the same time that the tea was getting cool enough to drink comfortably. Fluttershy caught her eye and waved for her to come and sit at the table, so Pinkamena did.

“I wasn’t sure how much sugar you’d want.” Fluttershy gestured at the cup of tea as Pinkamena got comfortable.

Pinkamena took a small sip to test it, then shrugged. “This is fine, I guess.”

Fluttershy nodded. “Did the bath help?”

“Not really.”

“Mm…” Fluttershy reached out and rubbed Pinkamena’s leg tenderly. “What’s on your mind?”

“I don’t think I should say.”

Fluttershy tilted her head. “Why not?”

“You’d hate me.”

“I’d never hate you,” Fluttershy told her. “You’re not capable of doing anything that would make me hate you.”

Pinkamena tapped her hoof on the table, then shook her head. “I shouldn’t have even brought it up.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you really don’t want to.”

Pinkamena looked at the floor and stopped tapping. “...Fine.”

“Fine?”

“Mm.” Pinkamena kept her gaze firmly away from Fluttershy. “Just forget about it.”

“Pinkamena, something’s clearly bothering you,” Fluttershy said. “I promise, it’s okay to tell me. I’m—”

“Do you still love me?”

Fluttershy blinked. “O-Of course I do, Pinkamena, you’re—”

“Like, really love me,” Pinkamena said. “I mean, obviously you still care about me, but I’m not Pinkie. Do you love me? Or do you just want me to be ‘happy?’”

“I—” Fluttershy gulped anxiously. “I do love you. Really.”

Pinkamena made a frustrated noise and clutched her head. “Please don’t lie to me, Fluttershy. Please. I need to be able to trust you, at least. My brain isn’t letting me trust anypony else.”

“I’m not lying, Pinkamena, I promise.”

“Then why’d you look so scared? Why does it feel like you don’t actually wanna say you love me?”

“Because…” Fluttershy clutched her legs to her chest and looked blankly out the window. “Because Pinkie’s still here. It feels like I’m betraying her.”

“Pinkie would be fine with you having feelings for another pony.”

“But that’s different,” Fluttershy said. “That would happen over time, and we’d talk about it. This just… It just happened. Pinkie never said it was okay.” Fluttershy put her hooves to her chest and took a deep, raspy breath. “I… We just need to talk about it when she’s awake. All of us.”

Pinkamena nodded. “I’m… Sorry, for making things so hard for you.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “It’s not your fault.”

“Mm…”

“Pinkamena?” Fluttershy reached out and lightly touched Pinkamena’s hoof, which made her jump.

“Huh?”

“Is that what was on your mind? What you thought I’d hate you for?”

“Oh. I…” Pinkamena pulled her hoof away from Fluttershy’s. “No, it wasn’t.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“I…” She trailed off without saying anything.

“You can tell me. I promise I won’t be upset.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“I can,” Fluttershy said, “because I know I won’t.”

Pinkamena took a deep breath. “You, um… You said that you weren’t upset that I hurt Pinkie.”

Fluttershy nodded quietly.

“Because I didn’t… Mean to…”

Fluttershy nodded again, more slowly this time.

“But I think… I might have wanted to.” Pinkamena shrank in on herself as she spoke. “I think I wanted to know if she could still hurt without me.”

They were both silent for a long moment. Fluttershy looked almost emotionless as she studied Pinkamena, taking in what she had said.

Finally, Fluttershy broke the pause and reached out. “Pinkamena—”

Before she could say anything, they both heard the front door open and then quickly slam shut. By the time either of them looked over, the living room was empty.

Fluttershy shot out of her seat. “P-Pinkie?” She threw the door open just in time to see a pink shape in the distance run onto a side path and disappear. “Pinkie!” She yelled out into the storm, but she quickly realized how pointless that was and flew off into the rain.

Pinkamena was left sitting at the table and staring at the open front door. “She…”

Pinkamena sniffed and wiped an eye as she started to tear up.

“She didn’t even care.”
> Chapter 4: Silence and Uproar
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Pinkie, wait!”

Fluttershy swooped down in front of Pinkie and skidded to a stop in the middle of the street. Pinkie nearly slammed right into her, but managed to stop herself just in time.

“Why’d you follow me?” Pinkie couldn’t bring herself to look at Fluttershy, and instead looked down at their hooves.

“Pinkie, you can’t just run off like that! What’s going on?” Fluttershy stepped forward, wiped the mud covering her hoof onto her other leg, and then reached up to pull Pinkie’s gaze to her.

“What do you mean, what’s going on? You heard her!” Pinkie tensed up more and more as she spoke. “She wanted to hurt me!”

“She’s…” Fluttershy shook her head. “I’m not saying that’s okay, but you know how you could get when it got really bad.”

“I—” Pinkie looked away and got much quieter. “I was getting better, though.”

“You were,” Fluttershy agreed, “but she’s… It’s bad, Pinkie.”

Lightning flashed in the sky overhead.

“I never thought I actually hated myself.”

“I don’t think she hates you.”

“She does! She thinks she’s gonna feel that way forever, and it’s my fault!”

“It’s not your fault, Pinkie.”

“It is, though.” Pinkie sniffed and scratched anxiously at one of her legs. “She’ll never be happy again cuz I stole all the happy away from her.”

“Happiness doesn’t work like that,” Fluttershy told her. “We don’t know that—”

Pinkie interrupted her. “Come on, Fluttershy, don’t be stupid.”

Thunder boomed from somewhere far away.

As soon as the word left her mouth, Pinkie gasped and covered it with a hoof. Her ears drooped as she watched Fluttershy flinch away from the harshness in her voice.

“I-I didn’t mean it,” Pinkie whimpered through her hoof. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s okay, Pinkie,” Fluttershy said. She was staying calm, but she was noticeably quieter than before. “We’re all stressed. Please, just come back to the house so we can all sleep and cool down without worrying about each other. This will all be easier in the morning.”

“I…” Pinkie looked down at the ground and shrank away from Fluttershy. “Mm-hm.”

Neither of them talked as they walked back to the cottage. They moved slowly, not because they wanted to stay out but because neither of them could bring themselves to break pace and speed up. Every so often Fluttershy tried to move closer to Pinkie, to cover her with a wing or make some other kind gesture, but every time Pinkie shied away.

They walked into the house soaked and muddy, and Fluttershy was suddenly very thankful that she’d forgotten to put the towels away. They dried themselves off in silence as the storm raged outside.

Pinkamena had fallen asleep on the sofa. Every few minutes she’d shiver or let out a little cry, so Fluttershy dug out a spare blanket and laid it gingerly over her. Then Pinkie and Fluttershy got ready for bed themselves.

As they stood in Fluttershy’s bedroom a few minutes later, Pinkie hesitated.

“Um…” She whispered as quietly as she could.

Fluttershy looked over at her with a worried expression. “Hm?”

“I think… I think I’m gonna go sleep in the chair out in the living room.”

Fluttershy let out a sad hum. “You don’t have to do that, Pinkie.”

“I know,” Pinkie replied, “I just… I wanna be alone for a bit.”

“You sure?”

Pinkie nodded.

“Alright,” Fluttershy said. She leaned forward and kissed Pinkie on the cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too…” Pinkie couldn’t bring herself to look at Fluttershy, and so instead turned towards the door. “Goodnight, Fluttershy.”

“Mm-hm,” Fluttershy replied. “Sleep well.”

Pinkie stepped out into the dark living room and shut the door quietly behind her. At this point, the only light was from outside, and with the weather as it was, that was very little. She made her way by touch over to a closet where they kept spare blankets, occasionally aided on her path by a bolt of lightning that lit the room, and then crawled into the big, deep armchair and curled up. She pulled the blanket over her head and, before long, drifted off into a fitful slumber.

Her dreams brought her someplace bleak but familiar. The hard-packed earth under her hooves was gray, which was matched by the gray rocks that towered around her, and the gray wood of the walls that made up her childhood home. Even the sky was mostly without color, marked only by a far-off gash of desaturated pink that tore into it like a fresh wound.

As she walked towards her home, it seemed to grow wildly in front of her, and before long it was just as big as she remembered it being when she was a filly.

The door opened as she walked up to it. Behind it stood her big sister, now a full-grown adult.

“Limestone?” Pinkie asked. Her voice came out tiny and shrill.

“What are you doing here?” Limestone gave her a disgusted look. “You hate us, remember?”

“W-What? I don’t hate you!” Pinkie whined pitifully. “Why would you think that?”

“Our real sister told us the truth.” Limestone moved to the side, and past her Pinkie could see Pinkamena at the kitchen table, just as young as she was, sitting with her head in her hooves.

“No…” Pinkie started to tear up. “That’s not true! I don’t hate you, why would she say that?” She tried to run inside, but Limestone stopped her with an outstretched leg, so she just called out. “Why, Pinkamena?”

Inside, Pinkamena jumped at hearing her name and looked towards the door. When she saw Pinkie, her eyes went wide and she scrambled out of her chair. “Pinkie! Pinkie, please, I—”

Before she could say anything more, Limestone slammed the door in Pinkie’s face.

“Wait, no!” Pinkie pounded on the door desperately. “Please, I don’t hate you!”

She heard no reply, though, and was left crying at the doorstep.

On the other side of the door, things were different. The house was dark, lit only by the light that came in through the windows, but it was also full of noise. Maud could be heard writing furiously into her diary, Marble’s soft cries echoed out of her room and through the home, and the thin walls did nothing to stop the arguments of Ma and Pa as they fought over which daughter to keep.

Pinkamena heard all of this, and now she could hear Pinkie, too, pounding on the door and begging to be let inside.

“Pinkie, please, it’s not true!” Pinkamena tried yelling and pounding back, but Pinkie couldn’t seem to hear her. “I would never say that!” She tried to jump up and open the door, but the handle was just out of her reach.

“Just leave her there,” Limestone said coldly. “Let her cry, it’ll never be as bad as what she did to our family.”

“How can you say that?” Pinkamena tried to shove Limestone, but the much bigger pony didn’t move. “She’s your sister!”

“You’re my sister. We don’t need her anymore.”

“Can’t you love us both?”

“I can hardly stand one of you.”

Pinkamena gasped and bit into her leg to stifle a cry.

Once her lip stopped quivering, she ran into the kitchen and around one of the light wooden chairs. Its size made it awkward, but she started to push it towards the front door.

“Quit making a mess,” Limestone told her. Pinkamena ignored the command.

Once it was close enough, she climbed up onto the chair and stood on her hind legs. Just barely, she was able to grab onto the handle, and without waiting she pulled the door open.

Except, it didn’t move.

Pinkamena looked around, trying to figure out what was happening, and saw Limestone standing beside her with a hoof holding the door shut.

“I said to leave her outside,” Limestone said.

“She’s our sister!”

Limestone laughed. “Please, you hate her more than any of us.”

“That’s not true!”

“No?” Suddenly, Limestone kicked the chair out from under Pinkamena and left her dangling from the handle. “Well, if you don’t hate her, why don’t we let you decide what happens to her?”

“W-What?” Pinkamena kicked her hind legs, trying to find some purchase, but she only managed to make herself start to slip.

“Just hold on,” Limestone told her. “Don’t let go, and she can come in.”

Pinkamena could already feel her legs burning as she struggled to hold herself up. “F-For how long?”

Outside, Pinkie was still banging on the door and yelling up a storm. Every pound shook the door, and every little shake made Pinkamena’s grip worse.

“Well, once nightfall hits I’ll have to go make sure the rest of the doors and windows are shut so the timberwolves don’t get in. I’ll definitely let go then.” Limestone shrugged. “Don’t think I’m gonna let you climb up there again if you fall, though.”

Pinkamena struggled to readjust her grip on the handle. “T-Timberwolves?”

“Well, yeah,” Limestone said, “can’t just let them come inside. I’d hate to be stuck out there when they show up.”

Pinkamena swallowed hard. “You can’t! You have to let her in!”

“After what she did to us? To you?” Limestone scoffed. “She deserves it.”

“No!” Pinkamena clenched her eyes shut and flailed around. “You’re wrong!”

Limestone rolled her eyes, then knocked on the door. “Hey, Pinkie?” She called out, and Pinkie stopped her pounding. “We’ll let you in if Pinkamena gives us the okay, but uh, good luck convincing her.”

Outside, Pinkie’s begging picked back up with double the fervor. “Please, Pinkamena,” she cried, “I didn’t want this! Let me take it back! Hate me, hurt me, whatever you want, just don’t leave me alone!”

Pinkie slammed into the door desperately, and one of Pinkamena’s hooves slipped off the handle. “No!” Pinkamena struggled to reach back up, but she couldn’t get her hoof high enough. “Please, Limestone!”

“I’m giving her more than she deserves already.”

Pinkamena made another failed grab with her free hoof, then let out a sob. “Marble! Maud!” Pinkamena cried out with everything she had. “Please, help me! Anypony!”

“They won’t come,” Limestone said. “They don’t want Pinkie here, either. She ruined your life, Pinkamena! Just forget about her!”

Suddenly the noise around the house quieted, and the stairs creaked as somepony started to descend them.

“Well,” the pony said, “I find that one’s life is rarely as ruined as they believe.”

“Huh?” Pinkamena struggled to look back, but couldn’t manage to do so.

“You can let go,” the pony told her. “It’s only a dream.”

“I can’t let go! Pinkie will—” Pinkamena processed what she’d heard. “A dream?”

The friendly, smiling face of Princess Luna came up beside Pinkamena. “A nightmare, to be more exact.”

“But what about—” Pinkamena started, but when she turned to her other side, Limestone was nowhere to be seen. “I-I still don’t want to let go,” Pinkamena said. “I mean, what if you’re wrong?”

Luna chuckled. “If it were not a dream, I could not do this.” With a flick of her hoof, the world around them sucked itself away into nothingness, and they were left in a dark, endless void. Everything was gone, the gray ground, the gray sky, the gray house, everything but Luna, Pinkamena, and Pinkie, who were both adults once more.

Pinkie stopped yelling out as Pinkamena dropped out of the air in front of her. They caught each others’ eyes, then both looked away.

Luna blinked. “I—” She looked back and forth between them several times. “Two?”

Pinkamena pursed her lips and looked up at Luna. “Oh, um… We kind of had an accident.”

“An accident.” Luna looked at them skeptically.

Pinkie nodded slowly and wiped tears from her eyes. “We’re not really sure what happened, but I’m Pinkie, and… She’s Pinkamena.”

“And you were sharing a nightmare?”

They both shrugged.

Luna scratched the back of her neck. “I must admit, this is new for me.”

“Well, um, thank you for stopping it,” Pinkamena said.

“Yes…” Luna looked around indistinctly. “I’m supposed to help you more, though, but I’m not entirely sure how to pick apart a single nightmare for two different ponies.” She thought for a moment, then waved a hoof and brought them someplace familiar, around a table at Sugarcube Corner. “Well, what do you think the nightmare was about?”

“Um…” Pinkamena hummed.

“I have no idea,” Pinkie said. “It just sucked.”

Pinkamena nodded. They both seemed a lot more at ease after the change in venue.

Luna looked between them. “Well… What’s on your mind?”

“A lot,” Pinkamena said, and Pinkie nodded in agreement.

Luna sighed. “Okay, uh… Start from the top.” She pulled a notepad out of the air and started to write on it. “Tell me everything that’s happened since this ‘accident’ you had.”

“Everything?” Pinkie asked.

“We have all night,” Luna told her. “More nights, if we need them. I have a feeling this is going to take a while to unpack.”
> Chapter 5: Bed and Breakfast
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So one day I was just sitting at home, yeah? And Princess Celestia shows up and is like, ‘Pinkie! I have this student who has no friends, can you—’”

“Pinkie.” Luna put a hoof out to stop her. “Please. Start at the point that you two go separated.”

“Oh.” Pinkie laughed. “Oops, yeah, that makes sense.”

Luna’s calming presence and wise choice of venue was doing wonders for Pinkie, who was already perking up and getting her laugh back. The same couldn’t be said about Pinkamena, though, who was sitting quietly and looking down at her hooves, and every time Pinkie caught sight of Pinkamena her smile would fade and she’d quickly look away.

“So, um,” Pinkie continued, “I—we?—we were sad and went to our thinking spot to think, and then we fell in and, well, you know.” Pinkie threw her hooves up dramatically. “Kaboom!”

Luna looked at her blankly, then turned to Pinkamena. “Can you explain this in a way that actually makes sense?”

“Huh?” Pinkamena looked up at her in shock, then hid behind her mane. “Oh, um, okay… Well, like she said, we fell into the mirror pool and then we weren’t together anymore.”

“The mirror pool.” Luna sighed and shook her head. “Maybe Celestia was right. She always told me to destroy it, but… Well, it’s just so good for thinking.”

“Right?” Pinkie nodded excitedly. “So, yeah, that’s what happened.”

Luna wrote down some notes. “So, then what?”

“Well, we had lunch,” Pinkie told her. “This whole big thing with my sister and our girlfriends, and then—”

“I ruined it,” Pinkamena cut in.

Pinkie frowned at her. “I wasn’t gonna say that!”

“Yeah, so I said it for you.”

“It didn’t need to be said at all!”

“We were both thinking it. I don’t see why—”

“Girls.” Luna spoke sternly, and they both looked at her. “Please, let’s try to stay calm.”

Pinkamena huffed and crossed her legs in front of her chest, but she didn’t say any more.

“You were saying, Pinkie?” Luna asked.

“Um…” Pinkie looked at Pinkamena for a moment, then turned back to Luna. “Well, we found out about each other and had a fight.”

“What about?”

“Neither of us thinks I’ll ever be happy,” Pinkamena grumbled. “I wanted her to admit it.”

Pinkie pouted. “That’s not true! You said it yourself, you just wanted to hurt me!”

“No!” Pinkamena fell forward onto the table in a pleading gesture. Her voice cracked as she cried out. “I just… I was mad, cuz I thought the pool might’ve made it so you couldn’t be hurt at all, and that didn’t seem fair! None of this is fair! Why do you get to be the happy one?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Pinkie told her. Tears were welling up in her eyes again. “I already feel awful. I already blame it all on myself. Do you want me to hate myself? Because I do! I really, really do, cuz I’m happy and you’re not and it’s my fault.”

“No, I—” Something caught in Pinkamena’s throat, and she fell back. When she spoke again, it was hardly a whisper. “I don’t want you to hate yourself…”

Neither of them spoke for a long while. They receded back into their seats and broke eye contact, Pinkie staring at the floor and Pinkamena covering her eyes pitifully. The only noise was the occasional sigh as one of them pushed down a sob.

Finally, Luna broke the silence. “Well,” she said quietly, “that was… Intense. Did you both say everything you wanted to?”

Pinkie looked up at her. “H-Huh?”

“It just seems like a good time to get things off your chest, is all.”

“Oh.” Pinkie looked briefly at Pinkamena, then looked away and hummed in thought.

Pinkamena spoke up first, though. “I…” She swallowed hard. “I’m sorry, Pinkie.”

“What?” Pinkie stared at her.

“I’m sorry,” Pinkamena repeated, “for everything I did to you.”

“But…” Pinkie shook her head. “But you’re the sad one! I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

 “Pinkie, you—”

“I mean, if I hadn’t shown up, you could be happy! You could feel better!”

“Pinkie—”

“I ruined your life! I-I stole your smile! I’m supposed to give smiles, not take them away, what’s even the point of me if—”

“Pinkie!” Pinkamena jumped out of her seat and stuck her hoof against Pinkie’s snout to get her to stop talking. When she was sure she had Pinkie’s attention, she went on. “You don’t need to be sorry just for existing. You didn’t ruin my life. If anything… Well, if anypony can make me happy again, it’s probably you.”

Pinkie sniffed quietly and tears started slowly falling down her cheeks. Without warning, she grabbed Pinkamena and pulled her into a tight hug. “I’m sorry, Pinkamena,” she said quietly. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

Pinkamena was shocked at first, but she quickly fell into the hug. She pressed her face up against Pinkie and clung to her, letting the hug last as long as Pinkie wanted it to.

Given that freedom, it was a very long hug, but eventually Pinkie did let go. As she pulled away, Pinkie rustled Pinkamena’s mane like she often did Marble’s and gave her a warm smile, which Pinkamena, to the surprise of them both, returned for just a moment.

As Pinkamena got back in her seat, Luna put away her notes and leaned forward on the table. “Well, you two seem better.”

Pinkie nodded, then they both looked at Pinkamena. At first, she hesitated, but after a moment she nodded, too.

Luna smiled. “I’m glad to see it. I’m always happy to help.”

“Yeah, thanks Luna!” Pinkie said.

Pinkamena nodded. “Thank you. Even if you didn’t really, um, do anyth—”

“It seems my work here is done,” Luna interrupted. She got up from the table, turned to the side, and took a few steps as she quickly dissolved away into the aether.

Pinkie caught Pinkamena’s eye and giggled, and Pinkamena couldn’t help but let out a little laugh.

By the time morning came, the storms had passed and the skies were clear. Birds tweeted sweetly outside the big window next to Fluttershy’s bed, and with them wafted the soothing scent of wildflowers.

A tiny sliver of light had snuck in between the heavy curtains that covered the window, and as the sun shifted it moved right over Fluttershy. It almost seemed to shine straight through her when it hit the uncovered parts of her fur, and when it reached her eyes she flinched and pulled her blanket up over her head.

“Mmn… Not yet,” Fluttershy mumbled sleepily. She flipped over onto her other side and reached out to pull Pinkie closer to her, but her hoof found only sheets. She grabbed again, and again got nothing, which was enough to stir her into opening her eyes and remembering that Pinkie wasn’t there.

“Pink…” She yawned and, reluctantly, pushed off the covers that kept her so snug. She rolled and tumbled out of bed. She shook her head to try and shake away some of the sleepiness, then she stumbled over to the window and slid the curtains open.

The sunlight streamed in and washed over Fluttershy, so bright and intense that she almost looked like a mirage as she shot a leg up to protect her eyes.

With squinted eyelids, she took in the outside world. Bees and butterflies floated around the flowers that speckled the little hill behind her old home, and birds sat happily in the homes that hung from the trees. Fish swam up near the surface of the quiet brook that ran through the yard, and in one particularly shallow part, she even spied a duo of foxes splashing and playing together. It all came together into a beautiful landscape, and seeing it again made her heart ache with nostalgia.

Once she felt awake, she meandered over to her bathroom and got ready for the day. Brushed mane, brushed tail, brushed teeth, everything found its place. She looked carefully at her fangs in the mirror, tested them with her tongue, and decided against sharpening them, as it was a long and tedious process that she hated doing. She peeled her eyes open and looked hard into the pits that centered them, but as always she saw nothing. It was a pointless part of her routine, but she worried enough about her eyes changing without her noticing that she kept doing it anyway.

Once she was done with all that, she stretched, yawned again, and stepped out into the living room to start the day.

Then she yelped as a blindfold was thrust onto her. “W-Who’s there?”

“Shh,” Pinkie replied, “it’s just me. I’ve got a surprise for you!”

Fluttershy sighed in relief. “Oh, thank goodness. You scared me!”

Pinkie giggled. “Sorry, but I had to!”

“You realize I could just see through this, right?”

“Well, don’t.” Pinkie started pushing Fluttershy gently towards the kitchen. “You gotta play along, it’s the rules.”

“What rules?” Fluttershy asked as she walked where she was led.

“The rules!” Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Geez, everypony knows about the rules.”

Fluttershy huffed as she was directed into a seat at her tiny little table. “Pinkie, is this really appropriate? I mean, Pinkamena was very upset last time we spoke to her, and—”

Suddenly, Pinkie tore the blindfold off and gestured at the table. There in front of her sat a huge stack of pancakes, made in the shape of hearts, with a little flag stuck in the top on a toothpick that had the words “We’re Sorry” written out crudely.

Past the breakfast, sitting quietly across the table, sat Pinkamena, wearing a small but genuine smile.

“Wh—” Fluttershy looked between Pinkie, the pancakes and Pinkamena. “I don’t understand.”

“It’s breakfast, silly!” Pinkie grinned wide.

Pinkamena nodded. “We felt really bad about everything we put you through yesterday, so we wanted to make it up to you.”

Fluttershy looked back down at the plate, and a wide smile grew on her face. “Aww,” she said, “that’s so sweet. You didn’t need to do this! Neither of you did anything wrong.”

“That’s super not true,” Pinkie told her. “We were both kinda awful.”

“But we’re sorry!” Pinkamena added. “And we wanna… Start over?”

Fluttershy laughed softly. “You’re both being silly. If you’re feeling better, that’s all I need.”

“Just take the sorry!” Pinkie pretended to pout. “If you don’t eat those soon, I’m gonna eat them, and then you gotta find something to be sorry for! It’s the rules.”

Pinkamena nodded. “It is the rules.”

Fluttershy sighed and shook her head, unable to avoid the thought that one Pinkie had been more than enough.
> Chapter 6: Out and About
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound of running water filled the air as Fluttershy cleaned off her plate. Pinkamena was still in her seat, half-pouting with her head on the table, and Pinkie was stretched out on the sofa in the living room. The atmosphere was quiet and peaceful, entirely the opposite of the night before, and they were all glad for it.

“So, uh…” Pinkamena talked without sitting up. “Now what?”

“Well,” Fluttershy replied, “what do you want to do?”

“Oh, I don’t wanna make you guys do whatever I want,” Pinkamena said. “I’m fine with whatever.”

Fluttershy quietly stopped the water, put away the plate and dried her hooves. Then she trotted back to the table with a gentle smile on her face and sat across from Pinkamena. “Sweetie, you’re allowed to want things,” she said finally.

Pinkamena winced at the pet name, but for the moment chose not to press it. “I know, it’s just… It’s your vacation.”

“It’s all of ours,” Fluttershy told her, “and I want you to feel better. Surely there must be something you’d like to do?”

“Mm…” Pinkamena looked down at the table, away from Fluttershy. “I don’t know, I can’t think of anything.”

“Well, if you think of something later, tell us, alright?”

“Yeah, okay.”

Fluttershy reached out and stroked Pinkamena’s cheek. “How are you feeling?”

Pinkamena shrugged.

“I don’t know what that means, dear.”

Pinkamena shifted and looked up into Fluttershy’s eyes. “Are you still scared of me?”

“Scared?” Fluttershy wrinkled her brow in confusion. “Why would I be scared of you?”

“Because I…” Pinkamena let out a tiny whine. “Because you’re not supposed to love me.”

Fluttershy tilted her head. “I… Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were still thinking about that.” She turned towards the living room and raised her voice. “Pinkie? Could you come here?”

A moment later, Pinkie hopped into the room. “What’s up?”

“We need to, um…” Fluttershy paused awkwardly and pursed her lips. “We need to figure out our… Situation.”

“We have a situation?”

“Our…” Fluttershy sighed. “Pinkie, I don’t know what you’re supposed to do when your girlfriend turns into two ponies.”

“Ohh.” Pinkie nodded. “I get it. I don’t care if you date other ponies, Fluttershy. Just, you know, run them by me first. It’s gotta be somepony I can at least be besties with.”

Fluttershy nodded. “I thought you’d say that, but… Well, isn’t this more complicated? I mean, I wouldn’t date Marble, that would be weird!”

Pinkie made a grossed-out face. “Yeah, that’d be super weird. Don’t do that. I mean, I know Marble’s great, but…” She shivered and shook her head. “Bleaugh.”

“Yeah,” Fluttershy said, “so… Well, what about Pinkamena?”

Pinkie looked at Pinkamena, then back at Fluttershy and shrugged. “She’s not my sister.”

Fluttershy tilted her head and looked at Pinkamena. “Do you not see Pinkie as your sister, either?”

Pinkamena shook her head. “Nope. I mean, I’m not my own sister.”

“Yeah, exactly,” Pinkie agreed. “She’s just a different me. Marble’s not me, cuz she’s my sister, and Pinkamena’s not my sister cuz she’s me.”

“I… Sure,” Fluttershy said. “I guess. So, you’re okay with it?”

“Yup!” Pinkie wrapped a leg around Pinkamena’s shoulders and squeezed her. “I mean, really, how can I say no to you wanting more me?”

Fluttershy laughed softly. “So you’re both okay with it?”

“Yup!” Pinkie said, and Pinkamena nodded.

“Great.” Fluttershy leaned over the table and gave them each a quick kiss on the nose. “I’m glad that’s sorted out.”

Pinkie giggled and bounced back out of the room, while Pinkamena blushed and turned her head away bashfully.

“I… Thank you,” Pinkamena said quietly.

“Of course,” Fluttershy said. “After all, I do love you.”

Pinkamena smiled. “I… I love you too.”

“You have a cute smile,” Fluttershy told her. “It’s nice to see.”

Pinkamena quickly folded her legs in front of her on the table and hid her mouth behind them. “I-I…” She stuttered, but couldn’t find any words.

Fluttershy frowned. “I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?”

Pinkamena shook her head. “No, I just… I don’t wanna make you think I’m not sad anymore and end up disappointing you.”

“I wouldn’t be disappointed,” Fluttershy said. “I understand, though. You don’t have to hide your smiles from me, but I’m not upset with you if you feel like you need to.”

“Sorry…”

Fluttershy stroked Pinkamena’s leg quietly for a moment before moving on. “We should get some fresh air. Are you sure there’s nowhere in particular you’d like to go?”

“I can’t think of anything.”

“Well,” Fluttershy said, “I still need to find somepony to take over for me here. You could join me on that.”

Pinkamena thought for a moment, then nodded. “Sure.”

Fluttershy grinned and got up from the table, and Pinkamena joined her as she went into the living room. They found Pinkie there, lying on her back on the floor with her eyes shut.

“Pinkie?” Fluttershy asked.

“Mm?” Pinkie pried one eye open sleepily.

“We’re going out, would you like to come along?”

“Mm… Where to?”

“I thought we’d start at the farm,” Fluttershy said, “and after that maybe check the market.”

Pinkie hummed in thought for a moment, then shook her head. “Nah. I kinda just wanna hang out here.”

“Alright, well, you can always come to find us later. Love you.”

“Love you,” Pinkie mumbled back.

With nothing more holding them back, Fluttershy and Pinkamena stepped out into the world.

The sunlight seared down on them, and Fluttershy had to take a moment to compose herself beneath it, but she had a smile again soon enough and they set off. The couple walked shoulder to shoulder down the narrow dirt path towards Ponyville. Every so often a breeze would pass them and blow their manes together into a tangled mess, but neither of them seemed to mind.

They kept to the outskirts of town, only using it as a go-between from the cottage to Sweet Apple Acres. The less-traveled streets still had puddles scattered about that they needed to dodge, along with a few branches and other debris that had been blown there by the winds. With their condition and lack of ponies, the streets looked almost abandoned as they walked through them.

Fluttershy knew these streets well. Ponies only lived so far out by choice, and so there were almost no houses, and even fewer ponies to be seen. Rarely did she pass by another pony as she walked, and that gave her plenty of time alone whenever she wanted it.

She did break the silence at one point, though. “You don’t have to stay quiet just because I am, you know.”

Pinkamena looked at her strangely. “Sorry, I… Did you want me to talk?”

“Well, you don’t have to,” Fluttershy said. “It’s just, Pinkie usually never stops talking on walks like this.”

“Well, I’m not Pinkie.”

“Yeah…” Fluttershy bumped into Pinkamena playfully. “Sorry. I keep expecting you to act just like her.”

“It’s okay. I mean, there’s not really anything else to expect.”

“Sure, but I don’t expect every new pony I ever meet to be like Pinkie.”

Pinkamena just hummed in response, and as the conversation lulled the sign for Sweet Apple Acres came into view.

“So, who are we looking for?” Pinkamena asked.

“I’m not sure,” Fluttershy said. “Anypony who’s good with animals. Ideally, it’d be somepony like me, who’s quiet and kind and—”

“Get back here!”

Suddenly the bushes at the side of the road started to rustle, and they both flinched back as something leaped out at them. 

The fuzzy brown mass flew through the air and skidded to a stop in front of them.

“Winona?” Fluttershy asked.

The little dog wagged her tail and looked up at Fluttershy excitedly. She would have barked, but her jaw was firmly clamped around some pointy silver object.

“What are you holding?” Fluttershy asked. She reached out a hoof to try and take it, but as she did the bushes rustled again and Winona took off sprinting towards the farmhouse.

This time what emerged from the brush was a little pink pony, covered in twigs and leaves and fuming mad. “Winona!” She yelled futilely at the dog as it ran off. “Drop it now!”

Fluttershy looked sideways at the pony, only getting more confused. “Diamond Tiara?”

Diamond Tiara turned sharply towards them, then gasped and smiled when she saw who it was. “Fluttershy! You can help!”

“I can?”

“Yes!” She pointed down the path. “The dog stole my tiara! You can make her give it back, right?”

Fluttershy smiled softly down at the little filly. Beside her, Pinkamena stifled a giggle.

“It’s not funny!” Diamond Tiara pouted. “I need it! How can I be Diamond Tiara without a tiara? Now I’m just… Just Diamond. Who cares about just diamonds?”

“Aww,” Fluttershy cooed. “Well, I suppose I have time to help you out.”

“Why can’t you get it back yourself, though?” Pinkamena asked.

Diamond Tiara huffed. “Don’t you think I’ve been trying? She won’t listen, no matter how loud I yell!”

Fluttershy put a hoof to her mouth to hide a chuckle. “Well, of course not. She thinks you’re playing with her.”

“Well, I’m not!”

“Sure, we know that,” Fluttershy said, “but to her, you’re just getting louder and rowdier. She sees the excitement and thinks you’re just playing along.”

“Okay, well, tell her she’s wrong!”

“Well, I bet you could do it if you know what you’re doing,” Fluttershy said. “Just walk up to her slowly and calmly, and she’ll see that the game is over.”

“There’s no way that’ll work,” Diamond Tiara said.

Fluttershy grinned. “Well, why don’t we find out?”

Together, they walked up to the farmhouse and looked around, although it wasn’t hard to find Winona. She was sitting patiently to the side of the house, waiting with a wagging tail for Diamond Tiara to show back up.

“There!” Diamond Tiara almost ran at her, but Fluttershy stretched out a wing and caught her.

“Slowly,” Fluttershy reminded her.

“Ugh, fine.” She started to walk, very deliberately and as slowly as possible, towards Winona. She tried very hard not to make any noise, and as she approached Winona just watched her happily. 

As she got closer, Diamond Tiara realized that it was working, and her breathing sped up as she got more excited. She started walking faster and was just about to start running again when Winona stood up and she stopped in her tracks.

As she froze, so did Winona.

Diamond Tiara took several deep breaths to slow her breathing, then picked up her achingly slow pace towards the dog.

A few steps later, she was there, and she gingerly reached out and plucked the tiara from Winona’s mouth. Just like that, she’d done it.

A smile grew on her face, and she raised the tiara high into the air. “Fluttershy look!” She shouted back and jumped excitedly. “I did it! I actually did it, I got it back from—”

Behind her, Winona saw her cheering and got worked up as well, and as she was yelling out to Fluttershy Winona jumped up and snatched the tiara back out of her grasp. Then, as soon as her paws hit the ground, she twisted around and sprinted away.

“Wh—” Diamond Tiara took a second to process what happened, then frowned deeply. “Hey! That’s not fair!”

Fluttershy and Pinkamena both laughed quietly as Diamond Tiara sped off, once again giving chase. 

“Well,” Fluttershy said, “she almost got it.”
> Chapter 7: Sweet and Kind
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fluttershy poked her head into a barn and looked around. 

“Hello? Is anypony here?”

When there was no response, she looked at Pinkamena and shrugged. There’d been no answer at the house, and this was the last barn they had to check. It was starting to look like the farm was completely empty.

“Maybe they’re out to lunch?” Pinkamena asked.

“Maybe…” Fluttershy hummed in thought. “Why was Diamond Tiara here, though?”

“Maybe she wasn’t hungry.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “I don’t know… Let’s go check the treehouse.”

With Pinkamena in tow, Fluttershy walked off into the vast sea of apple trees that made up the orchard. It was a huge place, big enough that the entire Apple household took over a week to harvest it all, but Fluttershy had been there enough to know her way around. Between visiting the animals unique to the orchard and just being friends with Applejack, she’d spent more than her fair share of time beneath those trees.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders’ clubhouse wasn’t actually in the orchard, but it wasn’t very far away. After all, beyond the orchard was the Everfree, and even the bravest fillies wouldn’t put their meeting space too deep into those woods. The only reason they ventured out that far at all was that Applejack didn’t want them in one of her apple trees.

As the trees around them started to change, they began to hear the sounds of other ponies.

“No, no, not like that,” one was saying. “You’re gonna get hurt. Here, let me show you.”

A sharp thwack suddenly echoed out through the woods. Fluttershy and Pinkamena exchanged glances.

“It’s too hard,” another pony said. “It moves around too much!”

As they walked closer, the voices got clearer, and soon enough they could pick out who was talking.

“It’s a log,” Applebloom said, “it don’t move.”

“Not the log,” Diamond Tiara replied. “This thing. It’s too heavy!”

“That’s why you gotta use two hooves,” Applebloom told her. “Just don’t think about falling and you won’t fall!”

“If this kills me, you’re not getting my stuff.”

“It ain’t gonna kill you, just—”

Applebloom and Diamond Tiara both froze as Fluttershy and Pinkamena walked into the clearing. Diamond Tiara was up on her hind legs with an axe, poised to strike at a log sitting nearby, and Applebloom was on the other side of the log coaching her. They locked eyes with the older ponies awkwardly and completely stopped what they were doing.

Pinkamena tilted her head at them, while Fluttershy just looked at them blankly.

“Girls.” Fluttershy’s voice was cold and emotionless.

“We can explain,” Applebloom said.

Diamond Tiara let go of the axe, which fell to the ground with a heavy thump, and dropped back down to her hooves. “Yeah, definitely.”

Fluttershy raised an eyebrow without saying anything.

“We were just, uh…” Applebloom searched for an excuse, but nothing came to her.

“A-Applejack told us to do it,” Diamond Tiara said.

“Well don’t lie,” Applebloom hissed. “That’ll just make things worse!”

“Well, what then?” Diamond Tiara whispered back.

“I was tryin to think of a real excuse,” Applebloom told her.

“There isn’t a real excuse, we just—”

“Girls.” Fluttershy cut off their bickering.

Diamond Tiara winced, and Applebloom looked away nervously.

“Okay, fine, we can’t explain,” Diamond Tiara admitted.

“I just wanted to show Diamond Tiara more farm stuff,” Applebloom said, “but she’s not strong enough to buck trees.”

“So your next thought was an axe?” Pinkamena asked.

Fluttershy sighed and shook her head. “Just… Don’t do things like this without an adult, okay?”

Applebloom pouted. “But Fluttershy, we—”

“Okay?” Fluttershy asked more sternly.

Applebloom gulped. “Y-Yeah, of course. We’re sorry.”

Diamond Tiara nodded rapidly. “Sorry.”

“Good.” Just like that Fluttershy turned off her lecture face and smiled sweetly again. “So, where is everypony?”

“I think Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo went to a skate park or something,” Applebloom said.

“Why didn’t you go?” Fluttershy asked.

“Ponyville has a skate park?” Pinkamena whispered under her breath. Diamond Tiara gave her a quizzical look.

“Cuz it’s Saturday,” Applebloom said.

“And Saturdays are when she’s mine,” Diamond Tiara added. She trotted over to Applebloom and put a leg around her shoulders possessively, which made Applebloom blush deeply.

“So this is a date?” Fluttershy asked.

“An axe date,” Pinkamena muttered.

The fillies both nodded.

“I gotta watch the farm today,” Applebloom explained, “so we’re stuck here.”

“You’re not doing a very good job,” Pinkamena said a bit louder than she meant to. Diamond Tiara narrowed her eyes.

“I mean, it’s not like anypony’s gonna show up,” Applebloom said.

“We showed up,” Fluttershy argued.

“You don’t count,” Applebloom said. “You don’t need my help if you need something at the farm.”

“You could’ve at least left a note,” Pinkamena said.

“I—” Applebloom pursed her lips. “Oh. Yeah, that’s a good idea.”

“Hey,” Diamond Tiara said, “I have a question.”

“Yes?” Fluttershy looked at her patiently.

“What’s with Pinkie?” Diamond Tiara tilted her head. “Is she broken or something?”

Applebloom jabbed her in the side. “Be nice! She gets like this on bad days.”

“I’m just wondering.”

“No, it’s okay,” Pinkamena said. “I’m actually, um… Not Pinkie.”

The fillies gave her very confused looks.

“You sure look like Pinkie,” Applebloom said.

Pinkamena sighed and turned to Fluttershy. “Am I gonna have to explain this to everypony?”

Fluttershy frowned sympathetically. “Probably.” Then she turned to the others. “Pinkie got split into two different ponies. This one is Pinkamena.”

“What?” Applebloom tilted her head.

“Yeah, that makes no sense,” Diamond Tiara added.

“There’s just two of me now,” Pinkamena said. “Only one of us has a straight mane, so just call that one Pinkamena.”

“Uhh… Sure,” Applebloom said. Diamond Tiara gave her a look, and Applebloom shrugged back.

“You’ll get used to it,” Fluttershy said.

None of them had anything to say to that, and the conversation had an awkward pause. They all just looked at each other in silence for a moment, waiting for the others to say something.

Applebloom broke the silence. “So, uh, what’s up? Why’d you come find us?”

“Oh!” Fluttershy gasped and put a hoof to her mouth. “I completely forgot. I’m looking for a replacement.”

“Replacement for what?” Diamond Tiara asked.

“For me,” Fluttershy told her. “Since I’ve moved away, somepony needs to take care of the animals in Ponyville and the Everfree Forest.”

“Geez, good luck with—”

“Ooh!” Applebloom interrupted Diamond Tiara. “I have an idea!”

Fluttershy grinned. “I’d love to hear it.”

“Well, Diamond Tiara is great with animals!” Applebloom grinned and squeezed the other filly. “I mean, look, she got her tiara back from Winona all on her own!”

Diamond Tiara winced. “Actually, um, Fluttershy kind of… Told me how to do that.”

“Well, you still did it,” Applebloom said. She turned back to Fluttershy. “That means she learns fast, right? You can teach her!”

Fluttershy pursed her lips. “I don’t know…”

Diamond Tiara frowned at the rejection. “What? I could do it! You know, if I wanted to.”

“Animal care like I did needs a very gentle touch,” Fluttershy said. “You need to—”

“I can be gentle!” Diamond Tiara pouted. “Right, Applebloom? I can be gentle, can’t I?”

“Yeah, of course you can,” Applebloom told her. “I mean, probably. If you wanted to be.”

Diamond Tiara huffed. “You’re supposed to say I already am gentle!”

“Well, I ain’t gonna lie.”

Diamond Tiara gave Applebloom a tiny shove and stomped a few paces away from her. “Clearly, Applebloom does not know what gentle means. I assure you, Fluttershy, I am the gentlest of ponies.”

Pinkamena lifted a leg to hide a snicker.

“I’m not saying you’re not gentle,” Fluttershy said, “it’s just… It needs a very specific kind of pony.”

“You don’t know that! I could be the best animal caretaker in Equestria and you’d never know because you won’t even let me try.”

Fluttershy sighed. “Do you even want to try?”

“I…” Diamond Tiara huffed. “Yes. I’ve decided I do want to try.”

“It’s very messy,” Fluttershy told her, “and animals can be much rowdier than Winona was.”

Diamond Tiara wavered for a moment, then stomped a hoof. “You can’t scare me off! I’m not some weak little pony. I said I want to do it, that that means I’m going to do it!”

Fluttershy looked at Pinkamena. “What do you think?”

Pinkamena laughed and shrugged. “Sure, why not?”

“Hmm…” Fluttershy nodded and looked back at Diamond Tiara. “Okay, if you’re sure, I’ll give you a chance. Are you ready to start now?”

“N-Now?” Diamond Tiara winced. “But I, uh… We have to stay on the farm!”

“Well,” Fluttershy said, “we’ll just have to hope we can find some animals on a farm.” With a kind but ever-so-slightly mischievous smile, Fluttershy motioned for the group to follow her and walked back into the trees.
> Chapter 8: Pigs and Pinkies
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Oh, come on. I can’t go in there, I don’t even have my boots!”

Diamond Tiara had a disgusted cringe stuck to her face as she looked into the muddy pen in front of her. The muck had soaked up the rain from the night before and refused to let go, and the slick surface now shimmered in the sunlight.

Fluttershy was standing beside her, holding the gate open with a kind smile. “Taking care of animals is messy. If a little mud is enough to keep you from it, you’re probably not the right pony for the job.”

“I—” Diamond Tiara huffed. “Fine. Just tell me what to do.”

Fluttershy looked over at Applebloom, who had climbed up onto the fence to watch. “Do you keep their supplies in the shelter?”

“Some,” Applebloom said. “What are you plannin? She’s not strong enough to pick ‘em up.”

“Nothing that severe,” Fluttershy said. “Diamond Tiara, do you see that small one in the shade with the light fur?”

Fluttershy pointed into the pen. Off in the corner, resting under the shade of a nearby tree, was a tiny, frail-looking pig, clearly the runt of its litter. It had mottled fur, but the dark patches were all on the sides or bottom of the pig, leaving its neck and back light.

“Yeah.”

“That’s Bella,” Fluttershy said. “She’s kind of moody and doesn’t always take care of herself, so Applejack puts sunscreen on her on hot days.”

“It ain’t all that bad out today,” Applebloom butted in. “Bella’s fine.”

“I know,” Fluttershy said, “but sunscreen won’t hurt, and it’s a good first step. Pigs are easy, and I wanted to see if the mud would scare her off.”

“Oh, come on!” Diamond Tiara pouted. “Well, it didn’t, so can we please do something cleaner?”

Pinkamena, who was leaning on the fence a few paces away, chuckled quietly to herself.

“Nice try,” Fluttershy said, “but no. I’ll even grab the sunscreen for you, just go say hello to her, alright?”

“Ugh. Fine.”

Diamond Tiara stepped up to the edge of the mud and tentatively stuck out a hoof. She held it over the ground for a moment, trying to will herself forward.

Then she pulled it back and looked at Fluttershy. “Do I—”

Fluttershy raised an eyebrow, and Diamond Tiara cut herself off with a sigh.

“Okay, okay.” She turned back to the mud and stared out at it again. She was making a face like she was afraid it might jump out at her.

As she hesitated, Applebloom quietly hopped off the fence and came up behind her. 

Then, after she continued to do nothing, Applebloom reached out and pushed Diamond Tiara into the pen.

Diamond Tiara let out a shrill yelp as she stumbled forward. Her hooves slid on the slick mud, and she just about toppled over.

She managed to find her balance again, though, and turned back furiously. “Applebloom! What the—” She glanced at Fluttershy briefly. “What the hay? Look at me, I’m filthy now!” To emphasize her point, she held up a leg and flicked a glob of mud towards Applebloom, although it landed nowhere near her.

Applebloom stuck a hoof over her mouth and barely held back laughter. “Well, somepony had to do it, and it wasn’t gonna be Fluttershy.”

Diamond Tiara growled and puffed her cheeks out. “I’ll get you back for this.” Applebloom stuck her tongue out and hopped back up onto her perch to watch the show.

“Okay, Diamond Tiara,” Fluttershy said calmly, “I’ll meet you over there.” She let go of the gate and gingerly took off towards the pigs’ shelter, and the gate shut Diamond Tiara in with a climactic click.

Diamond Tiara mumbled indecipherably under her breath and turned towards her target. Bella was still in the shade, resting peacefully on one of the few completely dry patches of ground, and gave no indication she’d noticed the commotion at all.

Diamond Tiara took a step forward. Then another, and another. With every move, she felt her hooves squelch into the mud again, and the thought of irrevocably stained fur came to mind. She grimaced.

The daydream distracted her enough that she stepped on an uneven bit of ground. In a split second her hoof slid out from under her and sent her plummeting.

Just barely, she managed to land on her knees and steady herself before she fell all the way in. Still, she let out a loud snarl as she pushed herself back up.

“This is ridiculous,” she said. She made sure to be loud enough for everyone to hear. “If I had to do this for real, I would have boots!”

Pinkamena giggled, but for the most part stayed silent.

“It’s just mud,” Applebloom said. “I get muddy all the time, and I’m still cute.”

“I am not cute,” Diamond Tiara said, “I am pretty, and pretty and muddy don’t mix!”

“Well, then finish the job and get outta there,” Applebloom replied.

“I am!” With a huff, Diamond Tiara turned and started stomping towards Bella again, this time making extra sure to look where she was stepping.

She crossed the rest of the pen without incident and let out an audible sigh when her hooves once again touched dry ground. She stood there for a moment, just taking it in, before she took the final few steps over to Bella.

“Hey, uh… Pig,” she said as she walked up.

Bella finally looked over to her and regarded her curiously.

“Um…” Diamond Tiara pursed her lips. “Well, I’m Diamond Tiara.”

Bella snorted.

“Uh-huh. Well, I’m gonna put some sunscreen on you in a minute, okay?”

After considering her for a moment, Bella got up and walked towards Diamond Tiara. She flinched back as Bella walked up close and started to sniff her curiously.

“Hey, haven’t you heard of personal space?” When Bella kept sniffing her, Diamond Tiara tried to push the pig away. “Come on, stop it!”

Bella snorted again, this time right up against Diamond Tiara, and refused to give in to the shove.

“F-Fluttershy!” Diamond Tiara took a step back. “Are you almost done in there?”

“Almost!” Fluttershy called out.

Bella took another step forward, and Diamond Tiara took another step back. “Hey, stay where you are, pig. I’m in charge here, you have to do what I say!”

Bella took another step.

Diamond Tiara took several steps away. “Fluttershy! The pig is trying to eat me!”

Neither Pinkamena nor Applebloom could hold back a laugh at this point.

Fluttershy stuck her head out around the corner of the shelter. “Huh?” She took in the scene curiously. “Just tell her to lie down!” Then she disappeared back inside.

Diamond Tiara made a frustrated noise. “O-Okay, piggy, lie down.”

Bella ignored her.

“Come on, you’re supposed to lie down when I say lie down!”

Bella continued to ignore her.

Diamond Tiara growled. “Stop!” She glared angrily. “Bella, I said lie down, so you need to lie down!”

Bella looked at her curiously for a moment, then plopped down into the dirt.

“I…” Diamond Tiara blinked. “Um, good girl. Thank you very much.”

Fluttershy came out a moment later with a bottle of sunscreen. “Geez,” she muttered, “that place is not well organized.” She flew over and gave the bottle to Diamond Tiara. “Okay, now just tell her to sit still while you put some on her ears and neck.”

Diamond Tiara took the bottle and looked up at Fluttershy. “I, uh…”

Fluttershy smiled at her. “You can do it. Just believe in yourself.”

Diamond Tiara gulped and nodded. “O-Okay, Bella…” She shook her head and took as confident a step forward as she could. “Bella, sit still while I put sunscreen on you.”

The pig made no move to get up as Diamond Tiara slowly crept over to her. Bella even tilted her head to make it easier for the little pony to reach both ears as she carefully rubbed the lotion on.

When she was done, Diamond Tiara gave Bella an affirmative little tap and stepped back. “Um… Good girl?”

“Great job,” Fluttershy said. “We’ll need to work on teaching you to be nice without letting them walk all over you, but this was a good first step! If you apply yourself, I think you really could take over for me.”

Diamond Tiara looked at her wide-eyed. “Wait, really? That was good?”

“For a beginner,” Fluttershy said. She laughed. “You should have seen me when I was your age. I would’ve just run away from Bella.”

“Oh.” Diamond Tiara took a moment to process that, then beamed with pride. “Oh! Wow, okay! Yeah, maybe I can do this!”

Fluttershy grinned. “That’s the spirit. Okay, let’s get out of here.” She moved to take to the air, then stopped herself. “Oh! First, Bella, say thank you to Diamond Tiara.”

Bella stood up and started trudging towards Diamond Tiara again.

“W-Wait, hang on!” 

Diamond Tiara scrambled away from the pig’s steady approach, and soon enough found herself back in the mud. She was far less prepared this time, though, and her hooves fell out from under her almost immediately. She toppled straight over onto her side and splashed loudly into the wet muck.

Fluttershy frowned, and Applebloom inhaled sharply through her teeth.

Pinkamena, though, snorted as she tried to hold back a laugh. The attempt failed miserably, and the snort turned into a full-on chortle before long.

Diamond Tiara fumed and launched a glob of mud in her direction. “Oh, shut up, Pinkie! It’s not funny!”

As soon as she heard the name, any mirth and laughter drained out of Pinkamena. She winced and folded in on herself as her voice fell to a tiny squeak. “I-I’m not…”

“Wh—” Diamond Tiara groaned. “Pinkamena, whatever! What difference does it make?”

“It’s…” Pinkamena tried to think of a way to respond, but nothing came to her, so instead she just pushed off the fence, hung her head and started to walk away.

“Pinkamena, wait!” Worry crept quickly into Fluttershy’s voice. She took to the air, scooped up Diamond Tiara, and carried her out of the pen, placing her gently next to Applebloom. “I’m sorry, girls,” she said, “but… I should really go after her.”

“Oh, come on,” Diamond Tiara said, “what’s the big deal? She’s the same pony!”

“She doesn’t feel that way,” Fluttershy said, “and it’s important to respect other ponies’ feelings when it comes to who they are.”

“But—” Diamond Tiara couldn’t think of an argument, so she just huffed. “Whatever.”

Applebloom hopped down beside her and jabbed her in the side. “Come on, just apologize. You’re only making it worse.”

“But I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“You hurt her feelings.”

“On accident!”

“You still hurt ‘em.” Applebloom shrugged. “You’d apologize if you accidentally dropped something heavy on somepony, right?”

“But that’s—” Diamond Tiara groaned. “Fine. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you,” Fluttershy said. “Diamond Tiara, think about what you’re getting into if I start teaching you. If you really want to try, we’ll do it.” She nodded to them both, then hopped into the sky. “Alright, I need to go after Pinkamena. See you two later.” Then she flew off.

Once she was out of sight, Diamond Tiara huffed. “She still just seems like Pinkie to me.”
> Chapter 9: Old Ideas and New Decisions
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Pinkamena!”

The pink pony had just walked past the sign marking the entrance to Sweet Apple Acres when Fluttershy landed next to her with a heavy thud. She flinched at the sudden intrusion, and her eyes stayed glued to the ground.

“Are you alright?” Fluttershy wrapped a wing around Pinkamena and held her close. “I’m sorry it took me so long to catch up.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Pinkamena mumbled. She started walking again, and Fluttershy matched her pace.

“Are you okay?” Fluttershy repeated herself patiently.

“I guess.”

“It’s alright if you’re not.”

“I know.” A tinge of annoyance sat at the edge of Pinkamena’s voice.

“So?”

“I’m fine.”

Fluttershy frowned. “She didn’t mean anything by it,” she said. “It was just a mistake.”

“I know that.”

“I’m sure if she knew you better, she—”

“Stop it!” Pinkamena shrugged out from under Fluttershy’s wing and put some distance between them. “Can’t I just feel bad without everypony trying to fix me?”

“That’s not…”

“It is!” Pinkamena stopped walking and faced Fluttershy pointedly. “You still look at me like I’m just Pinkie having a breakdown. I’m not a real pony, I’m just a problem to solve.”

“That’s not fair,” Fluttershy replied. She spoke slowly, hesitantly. “I just want to see you happy.”

“Do you want me to be happy, or do you want me to be Pinkie?” She paused just long enough for Fluttershy to start responding before going on. “Or are they the same thing to you? When you imagine me happy in your head, is it just Pinkie?”

“I…” Fluttershy looked away a bit.

“Exactly,” Pinkamena said. “Well, I don’t wanna be Pinkie! There’s already a Pinkie, and I don’t wanna just be the second choice whenever the real Pinkie is busy or sad.”

“I’m sorry,” Fluttershy said. “I’m not trying to just turn you into Pinkie, I promise. I just… I don’t really know what else to imagine.”

Pinkamena frowned. She hesitated a moment, then turned and started walking again. “I know that,” she mumbled. “I mean, how could you know me? I don’t even know me.”

Fluttershy moved up beside Pinkamena again and walked with her, although this time without putting a wing around her. “You’ll figure it out.”

“Is there even anything to figure out? I mean, maybe I am just Pinkie.”

“If you say you’re not Pinkie, then you’re not Pinkie.”

“You know what I mean.” Pinkamena sighed. “What if there’s not anything different about us, except that I’m sad, and one day I’ll just poof right back into being Pinkie?”

“I…” Fluttershy let out a breath. “I don’t know. I can’t tell you that that won’t happen.”

As the duo turned a corner, Ponyville came into view down the road. It was a beautiful day, sunny but cool from the previous night’s rain, and ponies were taking full advantage of it. Even this far out there wasn’t a single street without at least one pony going about their day, running errands or even just taking a walk.

“What do I do?” Pinkamena’s voice was sad, and had a hint of worry in it. “Should I just hide and wait to turn back into Pinkie?”

“Not if you don’t want to.”

“But what, then?”

“Well, if you don’t want to be Pinkie, then just… Don’t be.” Fluttershy shrugged. “You’ve always thought differently when you got like this, but you never let any of it stick before. You can use this chance to take a different path.”

“How, though? I mean, I can’t just pick and choose what parts of me I like.”

“Just do things differently,” Fluttershy told her. “What’s something you’ve always wanted to do when you got like this, but never did because of the Pinkie part of yourself?”

“Umm…” Pinkamena thought for a long moment. “I don’t know, I mean, I always get weird impulses.”

“Are there any you would get over and over?”

“I… Oh!” Pinkamena’s face lit up with realization. “Yeah, there is something!”

Fluttershy grinned. “Well, let’s go do it, then.”

“Actually, um…” Pinkamena looked to the side bashfully. “I think if you’re there I might chicken out.”

“Oh. You wanna go alone?”

Pinkamena nodded.

Fluttershy leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek, which shocked her enough to make her blush. “Of course you can. Just tell me about it later, okay?”

Pinkamena smiled and nodded. “Yeah, definitely.”

They walked the rest of the way to Ponyville in silence, although Pinkamena did lean up against Fluttershy, and Fluttershy put her wing back around Pinkamena. When they hit the intersection that marked the start of town, Fluttershy kissed Pinkamena goodbye, and they went their separate ways.

As soon as she was alone, Pinkamena found herself far more nervous about being out and about. Thoughts ran through her head that she had no answers to. How would she explain her appearance to ponies? Should she be open about what happened? Would they even believe her? She had no idea.

Rather than face these questions, she elected to do her best to avoid them. She stuck to the back roads as she traveled, and when that wasn’t enough, when a street was still too crowded to avoid contact, she ducked into alleyways and hopped over fences. She knew the town well enough that there was always another route she could take, and so she made it to the Carousel Boutique without talking to a single other pony along the way.

Rarity lived on a busy street, so Pinkamena had to hide in the shadows across from her destination and wait for an opening to cross. It was bad enough that ponies kept going into the building, but she figured she’d at least have Rarity to help deal with them. Running into somepony outside was an entirely separate beast, and one she wanted desperately to—

“Sup?”

Pinkamena yelped and whirled around to meet the sound behind her. She spun so fast and so hard that her hooves slid out from under her, though, and she fell awkwardly onto her back.

Above her loomed Rainbow Dash, who was clearly suppressing a laugh. “You good?”

“Oh… Uh, hi, Dashie,” Pinkamena said quietly. She didn’t make any move to get up from where she had fallen.

“Yeah, hey. What’s up? You aren’t lookin too hot.”

“Oh, it’s fine,” Pinkamena said. “The fall didn’t really hurt.”

“No, I mean…” Rainbow Dash gestured vaguely towards Pinkamena’s mane.

“Oh, yeah. It’s, uh, kinda complicated.”

“I’ve got time.”

“I was actually just about to go talk to Rarity,” Pinkamena said.

“You mean you’re not just hanging out in this alley for fun?” Rainbow Dash snorted. “Yeah, alright, let’s go in. I was gonna make Rarity take a break anyway.”

Rainbow Dash helped Pinkamena up, and they crossed the street to the boutique. Pinkamena kept her head down, trying not to notice all the ponies giving her strange looks, but her face was still beet red by the time they walked through the door.

Rarity noticed Rainbow Dash first and beamed. “Rainbow!” She started to trot over towards them cheerily. “How lovely to see you, what can—” She cut herself off with a gasp when she saw Pinkamena. “Oh, Pinkie, dear, what’s the matter?”

Pinkamena winced. “Um, actually…” She glanced around at the few customers milling around and pursed her lips. “Can we go somewhere private?”

“Of course,” Rarity said. “Everypony,” she announced to the store, “I’m going on break, so I’m afraid if you need help you’ll need to have a little patience. Feel free to mill around, though, and I’ll try not to take too long.”

With that taken care of, Rarity led Pinkamena and Rainbow Dash into a back room that she used as an office to talk to clients in. It was warm and cozy, with just enough room to hold Rarity’s desk and a few comfortable chairs without feeling crowded.

Rarity took up her natural place behind her desk, and Pinkamena pulled a chair up opposite her. Rainbow Dash then decided to forego chairs, and instead leaned against the side of the desk in between the two.

“So,” Rarity said once she felt they were all settled, “what’s the matter, darling?”

“Um… Nothing?” Pinkamena looked at her awkwardly.

Rarity gave her a puzzled look. “But, then, why…”

“Yeah…” Pinkamena traced her hoof along the desk as she thought through her words. “So, I’m… Not Pinkie.” That just made the others even more confused, so she went on. “We had an accident at the mirror pool and kinda got split up.”

Rainbow Dash groaned. “More copies? You know how that went last time!”

“This is different!” Pinkamena put her hooves up defensively. “I’m not like they were, I’m not even Pinkie! It didn’t copy Pinkie, it sorta… Cut her in half.”

“I think I understand,” Rarity said, “but how can I help? You should go to Twilight if you want to find a way to get put back together.”

“No!” Pinkamena blurted the response out, then blushed and turned her head away. “No, I… I don’t wanna go away.”

“I mean, I guess we can probably handle two Pinkies,” Rainbow Dash said. “Just don’t make any more!”

“I’m not Pinkie! I’m Pinkamena!”

Rainbow Dash gave her a strange look. “You do realize Pinkie is short for Pinkamena, right?”

“It’s… It’s still a different name, okay?” Pinkamena huffed. “I mean, she never lets anypony call her Pinkamena. So don’t call me Pinkie.”

“Of course, dearest,” Rarity told her. “Rainbow is just being difficult. If you want to be called Pinkamena, nopony will object.”

“No, I get it,” Pinkamena said. “I’m not mad. I mean, at least she’s honest.”

“No, I’m loyal,” Rainbow Dash said.

Pinkamena snorted out a short laugh. “Yeah, okay.”

“So, what can I do for you?” Rarity asked.

“Oh, yeah.” Pinkamena crossed her hooves nervously. “Well, um, I’m not really… I don’t know.” She shook her head and looked down. “I don’t know who I am, or what I want. All I know is I don’t wanna be Pinkie.”

“So…” Rarity replied coaxingly.

“So I wanna do something big. Something Pinkie would never do.”

“Yeah, that can’t possibly go wrong,” Rainbow Dash said dryly.

Rarity shot Rainbow Dash a look, then turned her attention back to Pinkamena. “Darling, are you sure? You’re still a very similar pony, so jumping right into something Pinkie wouldn’t like, well… You could just wind up hurting yourself.”

Pinkamena shook her head. “I’m sure. I’m super sure. I’ve been thinking about this for years, I just never did it cuz it would mess with how other ponies saw Pinkie.”

“Well, if you’re positive,” Rarity said, “then I’m here to help. So, what did you have in mind? A new wardrobe? Perhaps even a new mane style? You could do a lot with it if it isn’t going to puff back up again.”

Pinkamena shook her head. “No, none of that stuff is big enough. I want something I can’t go back from.”

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “So, a piercing…?”

She shook her head again. “I wanna dye my fur.”
> Chapter 10: Denial and Bargaining
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What, like, all of it?” Rainbow Dash furrowed her brow in a confused expression. “You wanna be blue or something?”

“Rainbow Dash, don’t be ridiculous,” Rarity said. “Obviously she does not want all of her fur dyed.”

“Yeah, I mean, even if I’m not Pinkie, I’m still pink,” Pinkamena said. “I just want a cool design.”

“You can do that?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I’m surprised you haven’t heard of it,” Rarity said, “what with the circles you spend time in. It’s been getting popular in underground scenes lately.”

“Well… Clearly not the cool ones.” Rainbow Dash huffed. “How do I not know about it if she does?”

“Maud tried it when she was younger,” Pinkamena said. “She used to be a real party animal.”

“Well, do you know what you’re actually asking for, here?” Rarity leaned forward on the desk and looked hard at Pinkamena. “It doesn’t just go away on its own. It’s permanent.”

“Yeah, that’s the point! It’s gotta be something I can’t go back from, and that Pinkie would hate.”

“I’m just worried about you hating it,” Rarity told her. “I don’t think you should do something just because Pinkie wouldn’t.”

“Well, I gotta do something,” Pinkamena said. “I don’t want ponies to look at me and just see Sad Pinkie, I want them to see me, a real, actual pony who’s not Pinkie.”

“It’s just such a big decision,” Rarity replied, “and I’m not sure you’re in the right state of mind to make such a decision.”

“Well, what is the right state of mind? When I’m happy? When it’s too late and I’m just Pinkie again?” Pinkamena leaned forward and put her legs out in a pleading gesture. “I can’t wait that long! C’mon, Rarity, I can’t just be the worse Pinkie.”

Rarity frowned. She reached out and put a hoof gently over the top of one of Pinkamena’s. “I’m not saying no. I just need you to be absolutely positive. I couldn’t forgive myself if I let you go through with this and you wound up getting hurt because of it.”

Pinkamena grabbed Rarity’s hoof with both of hers. “Please. I need to do something. Plus, like I said, I’ve thought about this before.”

Rarity sighed and thought for a moment. She looked down at the table, at Pinkamena’s hooves on hers, and then slowly nodded. “Okay, Pinkamena, I’ll—”

“Thank you!” Pinkamena shot out of her chair and across the desk. She grabbed Rarity in midair with a tight, squeezing hug, and the force of her leap sent them both toppling out of the chair and onto the ground.

“Oof…” Rarity winced and weakly hugged back. “O-Of course, dear, but I do need to be conscious for the procedure.”

Pinkamena laughed and let go of Rarity, and after catching her breath Rarity led the group out of the office they were in.

“So,” she said as they walked through the hallway, “I’m afraid we’ll have to go to the basement for this.”

Rainbow Dash blinked. “We have a basement?”

Rarity rolled her eyes hard enough that Rainbow Dash could practically hear it. “Really, Rainbow, you’re lucky you’re cute.” She opened up an unassuming door and revealed a set of dark wooden stairs leading down into darkness. “You’ve really never seen this?”

“I thought it was a bathroom.” Rainbow Dash shrugged. “I never bothered to check.”

With a sigh, Rarity flicked on the lights and led them downstairs.

What they walked into felt less like a basement and more like a cabin. It was a wide, uncluttered room with carpeted floors and wood-paneled walls that had been roughly sectioned out into a multipurpose space. On the far wall, shelves lined with drinks sat behind an empty bar. There were comfy chairs and sofas scattered about that half of the room. The closer side was more for utility, with some more specialized furniture filling the space. The walls were lined with sketches of designs and photos Rarity had taken that she especially liked, along with a couple of framed magazine covers featuring her smiling face.

The space right under the stairs held a small workbench, which Rarity went to right away. Pinkamena followed her, while Rainbow Dash drifted with wide eyes towards the back of the room.

“Okay, dear,” Rarity started, “we’ll need to figure out a design.” She pulled out a large scrapbook filled with rough sketches and reference photos. “If you’ve no ideas, I have some suggestions. I, um…” She blushed in embarrassment. “I actually have designs made up for everypony in our little group. It’s… A hobby of mine.”

“I dunno,” Pinkamena said, “I mean, those would be for Pinkie, not me. I do have an idea, though!”

“Oh?” Rarity shut the book and looked at her excitedly. “Do tell.”

“So,” Pinkamena propped her legs up on the workbench to explain, “I was thinking, like, you know candy canes? How they’re all stripey? I want my legs to look like that.”

“The whole leg?” Rarity asked in shock. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather start smaller, just to make sure you like it?”

Pinkamena shook her head. “Nope, all the way.”

“All four legs?”

“Uhh… Nah, just the front ones,” Pinkamena decided. “And make ‘em swirl in different directions.”

Rarity found a notepad and started taking notes. “Alright. Color? Personally, I think the normal red of candy canes would fit perfectly, but there’s always—”

“Black!” Pinkamena tapped her hooves on the workbench as the reality of what she was doing set in and she started to get excited.

Rarity looked at her blank-faced for a second. “Black?”

“Yup!” Pinkamena nodded fervently. “I mean, Pinkie would never ever choose black.”

“True,” Rarity admitted, “and black does make a rather striking pair with pink, but are you sure you would like it? It’s okay for you to dislike some of the same things as Pinkie, and black is… Well, it’ll certainly have an effect on your image.”

 “That’s what I want!”

“Yes, but…” Rarity thought for a moment, then dug around for some colored pencils and started sketching. A moment later, she raised up a tentative design for Pinkamena. “How do you feel about these colors? There’s plenty more that Pinkie wouldn’t choose, and I want it to be something you like.”

Pinkamena barely heard her. Her eyes lit up as soon as she saw the sketch. “It’s perfect!” She grinned and hopped in place a bit. “I knew you were the right pony to come to. You always make my silly ideas look good.”

“Aw, well, thank you very much,” Rarity said. “I’m happy to help.”

Pinkamena nodded, then turned away. “Hey, Dashie! Come check it out!”

“Hm?” Rainbow Dash pushed herself out of the deep chair she’d settled in and meandered over to them, a half-full drink clutched in her wing. Her eyes widened when she saw the sketch. “Woah, that’s… Wild. You’re actually going through with this?”

Pinkamena nodded. “I mean, Rarity had me a little worried before, but now that I see the sketch I gotta do it.”

Rainbow Dash let out a short laugh. “Yeah, okay, you’re definitely not Pinkie. Doesn’t matter how sad she was, she’d never be into that. It looks good, though! I think so, at least.”

Rarity had been giving Rainbow Dash a dirty look up until that point, and finally decided to snatch the drink away from her. “Okay, yes, thank you for the input. Now shoo, we have work to do.”

“Hey!” Rainbow Dash pouted. “What’s the big deal?”

“The ‘big deal’ is that you didn’t even ask,” Rarity told her, “and we have company.”

“You would’ve said yes! What’s the point in asking?”

“It’s a matter of your manners,” Rarity said. 

“Well, you could’ve just said something,” Rainbow Dash said. “You don’t gotta make a whole deal out of it, that’s just… It sucks.”

Rarity regarded her for a moment, then looked away coldly. “Hmph.” She shoved the drink roughly back into Rainbow Dash’s grip. “Not while we have company.”

Rainbow Dash groaned and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, whatever. See ya, Mena.” Without waiting for a reply, she turned and trotted heavily up the stairs and out of the basement.

Pinkamena had watched the exchange in sullen silence, and she looked at Rarity with a severely deepened frown. “Um… Are you two alright?”

“Hm?” Rarity looked at her, then sighed and nodded. “I’m sorry about that. We’re still… Getting used to things.”

“I’m sorry if I made things worse,” Pinkamena said.

“No, dear, you’re perfectly alright,” Rarity told her. “Once we’re cooled down, we’ll both apologize and work everything out. Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay…”

Rarity frowned and watched Pinkamena for a moment. Then she nodded and tapped the sketch affirmingly. “So! You’re happy with this design?”

“Huh?” Pinkamena took a moment to remember what they had been doing. “Oh, yeah. Yeah, I like it.”

“No changes to make? Bigger or smaller stripes? A flourish at the ends?”

Pinkamena thought for a moment, then shook her head. “Nope, I like this.”

“Alright, well, hop onto the table then.” Rarity gestured to a strange, segmented table sitting nearby, then started gathering up her tools.

Pinkamena looked the seat over as she walked up to it. It was clear it could be shifted and tilted into all sorts of positions, but as it was it reminded her mostly of a massage table. 

“Uhh, face up?” She asked awkwardly.

“However you prefer, darling,” Rarity told her without looking back.

Pinkamena nodded and hopped up. It was a tall table, wide enough for her to lay comfortably, but it also blocked her view of the ground below. She tried lying face up, but it made her feel strangely vulnerable, like she was stranded on a raft out at sea, so she flipped over. The new position still wasn’t perfect, as it made the table’s height feel far more significant, but it was better than the alternative.

A few minutes later, Rarity wheeled a tray full of supplies over and stood beside Pinkamena. The tray had all sorts of things, but the most notable was the strange pen-like object that was hooked up to a large base.

“What’s that thing?” Pinkamena asked.

Rarity wheeled a stool over for herself and sat down where Pinkamena could see her easily. “Well, as you may know, manes and fur are very difficult to safely use magic on. Things backfire easily, and the more significant the change, the greater the risk.”

“Uh-huh.”

“That’s where this helps.” She used her magic to grab the pen and flick it on. It whirred to life, buzzing mechanically as it shaped Rarity’s magic to a razor tip. “It gives me much finer control, although as a downside it is extremely specialized. It’s only really good for this one thing.”

Pinkamena winced at the loud, harsh noise of the machine. “I-Is it safe?”

Rarity flicked it back off and set the pen down. “Oh, completely. The finished model came out, oh, a year or so ago, and it’s basically impossible to make a dire mistake. If I were to mess up with my magic, which I won’t, it would just be shot out the sides before it could reach the tip.”

“Only a year?”

“Yes, well, there were prototypes before that. Honestly, I was shocked to hear that Maud had work done. The tools back then… Well, I could show you mine later if you’d like, but it’s not something I would actually use on a pony.”

Pinkamena swallowed hard. “But this one is fine, right? It won’t hurt me?”

Rarity inhaled sharply through her teeth. “Well, I didn’t say that. It’s not a pleasant experience.”

“I-It’ll hurt?”

“I’m afraid so,” Rarity said. “If you’d like, I could do a quick test without any dye to see if it’s too much for you.”

“Um…” Pinkamena nodded. “Yeah, okay.”

Rarity picked the pen back up and flicked on the machine. “Okay,” she said, her voice quickly becoming garbled in the whir of the machine, “hold your leg out for me.”

Pinkamena did as she was told, and Rarity leaned forward and held a hoof gently on Pinkamena’s. Then she pulled the pen up and looked into Pinkamena’s eyes.

“Ready?”

Pinkamena nodded.

Rarity tapped the pen to Pinkamena for just a second before pulling back, but her leg was gone almost before the pen was. Pinkamena yelped loudly as she pulled her leg into herself and rubbed the point where she’d been jabbed.

Rarity frowned and turned the machine off. “I’m sorry, darling. Ponies all have different resistances to magic, so there’s no real way to know how much it’ll hurt without trying. I didn’t think it would be that bad for you.”

Slowly, Rarity put the pen back in its holster and started to wheel the tray away.

As Pinkamena watched the tool roll out of her life, she felt a deep, anxious feeling creep up at the back of her neck. “W-Wait!” She held out a hoof to stop Rarity. “I…”

Rarity looked back at her. “What’s that?”

Pinkamena bit her lip, trying to will the words out of herself, and eventually managed to blurt them out all at once. “I still wanna do it!”

Rarity looked at her with a confused stare. “But… Pinkamena, that pain wouldn’t stop. It would be there for all of both legs.”

“I can handle it,” Pinkamena said, although she completely failed to sound like she believed it.

“Darling, I’m sorry, but you saw how quickly you pulled your leg away. I can’t do the work at all if you can’t sit still.”

“But…” Pinkamena looked around as if she’d find an answer, then turned back to Rarity and clasped her hooves together and begged. “Please, Rarity, I need this. I can’t just be a backup Pinkie! Pinkie’s already enough for everypony, I’ll just get abandoned and forgotten!” She could feel herself tearing up, and struggled to stop them. “Nopony wants two Pinkies. It’s too much! And Pinkie is already friends with everypony. I don’t wanna be alone, Rarity!”

“Pinkamena, dear.” Rarity frowned and walked up to her, then ran a hoof through Pinkamena’s mane, which calmed her down a bit. “I’m so sorry you feel like we’d abandon you. I can swear up and down that I never would, but…” She sighed. “I don’t know what else I can do. You’re asking me to hurt one of my friends for… For hours. I just can’t do it.”

“But what other option do I have?” Pinkamena looked up into Rarity’s eyes pitifully. “I’ll do anything. I can get used to it, I just… I need time to. Do it without dye some more, just for a couple minutes, to see if I can get used to it. Please. Please Rarity, I need this, I—”

Rarity put her hoof over Pinkamena’s lips to shush her. “Darling. This way you’re thinking, feeling like you need this, it’s not healthy, and I want to talk about it later. But… I do understand the value in taking one’s life into their own hooves and making changes like this, so I will try. You have to promise me, though, that if I decide you won’t be able to get used to it, you will find something else. Okay?”

Pinkamena sniffed and nodded. “Mm-hm. I promise.” She reached out and pulled Rarity into an awkward hug. “Thank you so much.”

Rarity took a deep breath and hugged back. “Of course.” When Pinkamena finally let go, she turned and made for the stairs. “I suppose I’ll just… Go find some straps, then.”
> Chapter 11: Recovery and Renewal
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Just a few more steps, darling.” Rarity spoke softly as she half-carried Pinkamena up the steps that led out of the basement, one of Pinkamena’s legs slung awkwardly over Rarity’s shoulder. It wasn’t a strictly necessary process, but neither of them entirely trusted Pinkamena’s sore, wobbly legs to hold her weight, and a staircase was far from the ideal place to test that.

Once they crossed the threshold into the main floor, Pinkamena unhooked herself from Rarity, tilted for a moment, and finally managed to find steady ground. “Thank you, Rarity,” she said weakly. “For… For everything.”

Pinkamena was in rough shape. Her eyes were damp, and her cheeks were stained with tears. She still had a tremble in her lip when she talked, and every step brought another wince. Despite it all, though, she was smiling. It was a weak smile, but it still felt like the most genuine smile that had ever graced her lips.

Rarity ran a hoof through Pinkamena’s mane. “I’m happy to help, even if it pains me terribly to hurt you like that.”

“I’m really sorry to make you do that…” Pinkamena frowned guiltily.

“You didn’t make me,” Rarity said, “I just weighed the options and chose to hope that the good would long outlive the bad.”

Pinkamena looked down at her legs, at the crisp black swirls that now ran from her hooves to her shoulders, and grinned. “I think they will. I mean, nopony will think I’m Pinkie now.”

“At the very least, they’ll question things,” Rarity agreed. “Come, let’s find you someplace comfortable to lie down.”

Pinkamena didn’t respond right away. She was still looking at her legs, shifting her weight around and testing them as though she’d never walked on four legs before. When she finally did reply, it was absent-minded, distracted. “Yeah, ‘kay.”

Rarity led her into the storefront, which she had closed for the day before starting work on Pinkamena’s legs, and helped her to get comfortable on one of the chaise lounges she kept there. Then she walked off, saying something about tea, as Pinkamena stuck her legs into the air and waved them around slowly.

The designs mesmerized her. Her legs looked so foreign to her, so strange, so not Pinkie’s. Her mind started to race as she watched the patterns flow through the air. Thoughts came and went faster than she could even register their existence, and even if she could, she was too focused on the swirls to pay them much attention. It was the back of her mind that ran through thoughts, that played out possibilities and realized new horizons, while her attention was focused on the spirals digging into her psyche. She imagined them, followed their path from her hooves up to her shoulders, where the lines tapered off. She saw images of them not actually ending, but becoming a part of her, receding from the surface and into her being. She could see herself, floating in the void of existence, as tendrils of black swirled around her, shaped her into something new, and she wondered what that new thing could be. There were so many options, so many new choices to make, she could—

“Woah.” She was snapped out of her thoughts by the sound of Rainbow Dash’s voice. “That looks awesome.”

Pinkamena turned her head to watch as Rainbow Dash floated across the room and settled down next to her. With a grin, Pinkamena kicked her legs back and forth to show them off. “Right?”

Rainbow Dash reached out to touch the newly dyed fur, and Pinkamena put a lot of effort into hiding the pain that it brought. Rainbow Dash ran her hoof curiously along the edge, amazed by how natural it seemed. “How does that even work?”

“Beats me,” Pinkamena said. “Rarity just kinda drew it on.”

“And it’s permanent?” Rainbow Dash kept prodding at her leg. “How does it not—”

“Quit touching it,” Rarity’s voice came from behind Rainbow Dash. “Her legs are very sore right now.”

“Oop!” Rainbow Dash let go and backed away quickly. “Sorry, I didn’t know.”

Rarity walked past her with a tray holding several cups and a pot of tea. She pulled a stool over and set the tray right beside Pinkamena’s head, then passed her a cup of tea with a long straw in it. “There you go,” she said, “so you don’t have to hold it.”

Pinkamena smiled at her for a moment, then finally dropped her legs and turned onto her side so she could reach the tea. “You’re so nice.”

“I do my best,” Rarity said as she poured herself a cup and got comfortable on the floor. She passed Rainbow Dash the only mug on the tray, since she didn’t like using teacups. “Here you go, dear. Come join us, won’t you?”

Rainbow Dash grabbed the mug and settled down between the other two. “Thanks, babe.”

“So,” Rarity said, “what do you plan to do next?”

“Well, I was gonna go take a nap,” Rainbow Dash replied.

“Not you,” Rarity said with a groan, and Rainbow Dash snickered.

Pinkamena took a gulp of her tea. “I dunno. I haven’t had any ideas yet.”

“Well, that’s understandable,” Rarity told her. “Anyhow, I wanted to continue that… Talk from earlier.”

“Talk” Rainbow Dash asked.

Pinkamena blushed. “Oh, yeah…”

Rarity looked deep into Pinkamena’s eyes. “Darling, I don’t like hearing you say you need something that hurts you. It’s… Well, it’s worrying, to say the least.”

Pinkamena frowned and let out a tiny whine. “I’m sorry. I know it was bad, I just got scared.”

“Have you thought about what it means that you’re not Pinkie anymore?”

Pinkamena gave her an odd look. “What do you mean?”

“You don’t… How do I put this…” Rarity thought for a moment. “You’ve lost your safety net, in a way. I know you’ve always worked hard to fight your unhealthy thoughts, but before, at the end of the day, you always had Pinkie there. You knew that eventually, the thoughts would go away on their own.”

“I… Right.” Pinkamena looked down mournfully. “No, I know. I’m stuck like this. I know I’ll never really be happy.”

“That’s not at all what I’m saying,” Rarity told her. “Pinkie or not, you did fight those thoughts before, and you still can. I just want to make sure you know where you stand.”

Pinkamena nodded, an odd gesture since she was laying on her side, and kept her eyes turned away. “I know. I’m sorry.”

Rarity reached over and pulled Pinkamena’s gaze back to her. “Don’t be sorry, dear. Just do your best, and don’t forget that we’re all here for you. We love you, Pinkie or Pinkamena.”

Pinkamena smiled just a little. “Thank you, Rarity. I, um, I love you, too.”

“Yeah, uh… Me too, I guess,” Rainbow Dash added awkwardly. “What she said.”

Pinkamena giggled. “I love you, too, Dashie.”

Rarity took a deep breath and nodded decisively. “Alright, I think that’s just about enough seriousness for today. Would you like to rest here some more, Pinkamena, or should Rainbow help you home?”

“Uhh… Let’s see.” Pinkamena shifted heavily and pushed herself off the sofa. She landed with a thud on the ground, lilted and stumbled a few steps to the side, then caught herself and settled into a wide stance. She shifted her weight around a bit as a test, then took a few cautious steps.

“I think I should be alright to get back on my own,” Pinkamena said. “Thank you for everything.”

Rarity got up and gave Pinkamena a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I’m going to send Rainbow with you anyway, just to be sure, alright?”

Pinkamena pursed her lips. “I really don’t need—”

“No arguments,” Rarity said, “you’ll not change my mind. I need to know you’re alright.”

Pinkamena sighed. “Alright. Come on, Dashie.”

Rainbow Dash got up and trotted up beside her. “Let’s hurry it up, this is cutting into my ‘me’ time.”

“Isn’t it always your ‘me’ time?” Pinkamena asked as they started towards the door.

“Nah, I give Rarity an hour or two every day,” Rainbow Dash replied. “I’m a good girlfriend like that.”

Pinkamena laughed and pushed the door open. “Yeah, okay.”

The dyeing hadn’t been a quick process, and they walked out just as dusk was falling over Ponyville. Crickets chirped, owls hooted as they woke up, and the signs of a bitterly cold night nipped at their heels. Up above, dark clouds almost entirely obscured the moon.

Only a few ponies still roamed the streets, all bundled up in preparation for the chill to come as they enjoyed what little night-life Ponyville had. Fewer still walked alone, as just about everypony who stayed out so late did so with friends or lovers, and those who were without company were almost certainly on their way to meet company. So, despite the rather barren nature of the streets, Ponyville was filled with the sounds of distant conversation and laughter, and on busier streets there were just enough ponies to give the impression that the town was still populated.

Pinkamena turned and walked off into this bustling night, and at first Rainbow Dash didn’t follow. When she did, it was with a confused look.

“Uh, dude?” Rainbow Dash trotted right up beside Pinkamena. “Your place is the other way.”

“I know,” Pinkamena said without stopping.

“So… Turn around?”

“Nah.”

Rainbow Dash groaned. “Why not?”

Pinkamena shrugged. “I just don’t wanna go home tonight.”
> Chapter 12: Known and Discovered
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“What do you mean you don’t wanna go home?” Rainbow Dash moved in front of Pinkamena and looked into her eyes. “Where else are you gonna go?”

Pinkamena sidestepped and kept walking past Rainbow Dash. “I’m sure somepony’s got something going on.”

“What about Fluttershy?” Rainbow Dash watched as Pinkamena walked past her. “Won’t she be worried?”

“Iunno. I hope not.”

“You hope not? She’s Fluttershy. You can’t just leave her in the dark like that!”

“She’s not a weak little pony anymore, Dashie. I’m sure she’ll piece together that I decided to stay out.”

Rainbow Dash moved and put her hooves on Pinkamena’s shoulders to stop her. “Dude, what’s going on? This isn’t like you.”

Pinkamena gave her an annoyed look. “You don’t know what’s like me,” she grumbled.

“Come on, we’ve been friends for years. You might’ve gotten split up from Pinkie or whatever, but I still know you.”

“You know Pinkie. That’s all anypony knows, that’s all I know. I never would’ve done this,” she said, gesturing at her legs, “if I just kept being the same pony, and this is the first thing that’s actually made me happy since I crawled out of the mirror pool.”

“I mean, I’m glad it worked out an all, but that doesn’t explain this.” Rainbow Dash stepped back and lowered her voice sympathetically. “Pinkamena, what are you doing?”

“I don’t know. Anything. Everything. Whatever pops into my head that Pinkie wouldn’t do, I’m gonna do it.”

“That sounds like an awful idea,” Rainbow Dash said. “I mean, what would Fluttershy say?”

“I don’t know! Why don’t you go find out?” With a glare, Pinkamena stepped forward again and shoved past Rainbow Dash.”

“Wh—” Rainbow Dash was stunned. “Wait, are you mad?” She started following Pinkamena again, but this time stayed behind her. “I’m sorry, Pinkamena, I just—”

“You want me to be Pinkie.”

Rainbow Dash blinked. “What?”

“You just want me to be exactly like Pinkie!” She huffed without looking back. “It’s all any of you want.”

“Okay, woah.” Rainbow Dash hopped into the air and hovered in front of Pinkamena. “You need to chill. I’m not trying to turn you into anything, you can’t just go around slinging accusations at your friends like that.”

“Are we even friends?”

“Of course we’re friends!”

“Who are you friends with, then? Huh? Describe me. We can’t be friends if you don’t know anything about me.”

“I know everything about you. Your birthday, your favorite foods, what songs you hate, all of it!”

Pinkamena rolled her eyes. “That’s stuff about Pinkie. Tell me about me. What’s my favorite food?”

“Isn’t it just the same as Pinkie’s?”

“No!” Pinkamena growled and kicked dust into the air towards Rainbow Dash. “I’m not Pinkie! I don’t have a favorite food, or song, or anything! We’re not friends cuz there’s not a pony in me for you to be friends with.”

Rainbow Dash frowned and landed right in front of Pinkamena. Her voice dropped to almost a whisper. “Pinkamena. Please go talk to Fluttershy. I can’t make you feel better, but she might be able to, and I think you’re doing really bad right now. I don’t know why, after you were so happy with the dye, but—”

“Get out of my way.”

Rainbow Dash pouted. “Pinkamena, please.”

Pinkamena stared straight through her. “I’m sick of talking.”

Rainbow Dash scratched the back of her neck. “Come on, Pinkamena, I—”

“Go away!” Pinkamena reached up and shoved Rainbow Dash aside so she could keep moving.

For a moment, Rainbow Dash did nothing. She just stared at Pinkamena, astonished. Steadily, her expression grew hard and sad, and after a few moments, she took to the air.

“I’m gonna go talk to Fluttershy,” she said quietly. She waited for a response but got none, so she sped off into the night in silence.

Once Rainbow Dash was out of sight, Pinkamena grumbled and kicked a rock as hard as she could. She felt more frustrated than she could remember ever feeling before, and it was made all the worse by the fact that she didn’t even know why.

Rainbow Dash was right. She had been happy. She’d been thrilled, even. She said herself that it was the first time she’d felt happy since she became Pinkamena, and she had meant it. Even now, past the frustration, thinking about the new designs on her legs, about the sudden change she’d made to her life, lit an ember of excitement within her. 

She just didn’t understand why feeling good felt so bad.

She tried to think back on her conversation with Rainbow Dash, to see if anything she had said still rang true, but just as she started her thoughts were interrupted. Her legs stopped moving, and that made her realize they’d been moving in the first place. She found herself staring at a tiny, run-down house near the center of Ponyville. It was dark inside, but the faint sound of music could be heard thumping within.

“Yeah, okay,” she said to herself as she walked inside. She didn’t bother to knock, as she knew nopony would be able to hear her to answer. She’d been to enough of these to know she was welcome, anyway.

It took her a moment to remember which door opened to the cheap wooden steps leading down into the unfinished basement, but once she opened it, the wall of noise that greeted her made it clear she’d found the right one. She winced at the sheer volume of it, marveled at the impeccable soundproofing that must have gone into making this place, and shut the door behind herself as she made her way down the stairs.

Contrary to what one might believe, Vinyl Scratch’s nightly house parties were rather humble affairs, at least by her standards. She kept her house open late into the night every day, but only her closest friends were actually told about it. It was rare for more than three or four ponies to show up a night, and most nights she only got one or two.

The scene Pinkamena walked into was one she knew well. The room was largely just a spacious concrete basement, with a booth at the far end for Vinyl’s equipment and various instruments and other memorabilia lining the walls. In the center of the room, though, the floor dipped down into a circular divot lined with cushions, like a single round bed inlaid into the room. There was also a small stage in one corner that was used for performances, but it saw little use most nights.

The only ponies there when Pinkamena joined the party were Vinyl Scratch, who was lounging on the circular sofa, and Octavia, who was stretched out beside her. They didn’t look to be doing much of anything besides enjoying the music and each others’ company.

When Vinyl Scratch saw Pinkamena, she nudged for Octavia to move and got up. The music slowly lowered in volume as she walked over, until it was just low enough to speak over.

“Yo, Pinks!” Vinyl Scratch hugged Pinkamena and patted her back. “It’s been ages. What’s with the new look?”

“It’s a long story,” Pinkamena said, “but the short version is that I’m not Pinkie.”

“Oh?” Vinyl Scratch lifted her tinted glasses and looked hard at her. “If you’re Chrysalis, you know you’re not allowed in here anymore.”

Pinkamena laughed and pulled out of Vinyl’s grasp. Then she jumped onto the sofa and landed with a relieved sigh on her back in the center. “Nah, I’m Pinkamena. Pinkie’s back home.”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll pretend I understood that.” Vinyl Scratch hopped back down into the circle and rejoined Octavia.

“It’s a pleasure to, um, meet you?” Octavia said.

Pinkamena giggled and rolled over to look at them. “Yup! Just act like I’m a new pony.”

“Well, if you’re new, you’re technically intruding on a private party,” Vinyl Scratch said, laughing at her own joke. “I’ll let it slide for now, though. You just better be cool.”

“That’s what I’m here to find out!”

“Pardon?” Octavia asked.

“Well, I’m new to me, too,” Pinkamena said. “I gotta figure out if I’m cool.”

“I mean, Pinkie’s cool,” Vinyl Scratch said. “If you’re anything like her, then—”

“No!” Pinkamena yelled out a bit louder than she wanted and then blushed in embarrassment. “No, I’m new! I’m not like Pinkie! I wanna do stuff she wouldn’t.”

“Oh, alright,” Vinyl Scratch said, “so you didn’t come to party, you came to party. I get it.”

“Ooh, sounds fun,” Octavia cooed as a wicked grin grew on her face.

“I guess?” Pinkamena tilted her head. “I don’t think I get it. What’s a… ‘Party?’”

“Oh, you’ll find out,” Vinyl Scratch said. She crawled over until she was nose to nose with Pinkie. “You sure you’re up to this? There’s a reason we never invite Pinkie out on these things. She’d freak.”

Pinkamena gulped. “Wait, why would she freak?”

Vinyl Scratch grinned and prodded her nose. “You’re gonna have to join us to find out. The leg work’s a good start, but are you sure you wanna do this ‘not Pinkie’ thing?”

Pinkamena bit her lip, thought for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah. Let’s do it.”

“Oh, how exciting!” Octavia clapped and hopped up out of the circle. “I’ll go get ready to head out!”

“Wait, we’re leaving?” Pinkamena asked.

“Well, we can’t party here,” Vinyl Scratch said. “Well, okay, we could, but that’s no fun. Nah, we’re gonna take you to Ponyville’s real underground scene.”
> Chapter 13: Friends and Enemies
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

After parting ways with Pinkamena, Fluttershy had decided to take her time in returning to the cottage. It really was a beautiful day, after all, and despite all the drama and high emotions she found herself feeling optimistic. Pinkamena was a strong pony, Fluttershy was sure of that. Whatever she was planning to do, Fluttershy was sure Pinkamena would come back feeling much better about herself.

And so Fluttershy found herself meandering around Ponyville and enjoying the sunshine. She wandered the back roads, smiling at the few ponies she passed by, and then she wandered the more populated roads, filled with houses and far more ponies. On these streets she had to actively move aside so as to not block the path of the other ponies enjoying their days, but she didn’t mind. Mostly, she was just thankful that none of them stopped her to try and talk.

Finally, as she followed her hooves wherever they carried her, she turned off of one of these streets and found herself in Ponyville’s marketplace. It was a wide plaza, lined on the outside with specialty shops, but the inside of the space was far from open. It was filled with rows upon rows of booths and stalls providing anything and everything an inquiring pony may want.

The afternoon was just turning to evening as she walked into the market, which was perfect for her. The market was always busiest right when it opened, when ponies would show up hoping to get the first shot at the day’s goods, but Fluttershy had no interest in being part of that bustle. She’d much rather show up at the end of the day, when the rows were clear and salesponies were just beginning to pack up.

Fluttershy walked into the lines of tables with a smile on her face. Ponies who recognized her waved and said hello, and she did so back. She glanced over the wares still on display as she trotted along, but she didn’t linger at any one stall. If nothing caught her eye by the time she was past it, she just took that to mean that she didn’t need anything there.

What finally got her to stop wasn’t any stall or store, but actually a pony. As she turned a corner, she glanced towards the edge of the plaza and saw a familiar face sitting on one of the benches, talking excitedly to somepony she didn’t recognize.

The unknown pony, a unicorn with light green fur and a blazing orange mane, gave her pause, but it had been so long since Fluttershy had last spoken to Twilight that she decided to go over and say hello anyway.

Twilight didn’t even notice Fluttershy walk up, enraptured as she was in her conversation. Fluttershy stood beside her for a moment, giving her a chance to notice, but was eventually forced to clear her throat to get Twilight’s attention.

“Um, Twilight?”

Twilight and the other pony looked up at her, and a massive smile grew on Twilight’s face. The other pony smiled, too, although much more subtly.

“Fluttershy!” Twilight hopped up and pulled her friend into a tight hug. “It’s been so long! I didn’t know you were back in town.”

Fluttershy nodded. “Mhm. Sorry I didn’t come see you sooner, things have just been kind of hectic.”

“Hectic?” The unknown pony raised an eyebrow curiously.

“Um…” Fluttershy pursed her lips, unsure at first about talking in front of this stranger, but didn’t want to miss the chance to catch up with her friend. “Yes, well, something kind of… Strange happened to Pinkie Pie.”

“Oh no, is she okay?” Twilight asked anxiously.

“She’s alright,” Fluttershy said, “just stressed, and um… Well, it’s complicated.”

Twilight sat back on the bench, pressed up far closer to the other pony than Fluttershy would have been comfortable with doing herself, and patted the seat for Fluttershy to join her. “Well, come on, tell us about it.”

“Um…” Fluttershy looked back and forth between Twilight and the other pony a few times. “Not to be rude, Twilight, but… I don’t really think I should talk about Pinkie’s personal life in front of somepony we don’t know.”

“What?” Twilight wrinkled her brow in confusion, then followed Fluttershy’s gaze and slapped her own forehead. “Oh. Duh. Fluttershy, this is just Chrysalis.”

“Oh!” Fluttershy blushed deeply. “I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you like that.”

Chrysalis laughed. “I was wondering how long it’d take Twilight to realize that.”

Twilight huffed. “That’s mean.”

Chrysalis grinned, showing a mouth full of sharp, pointed teeth, and bopped Twilight on the nose. “If you don’t want me to be mean, you should stop being so fun to be mean to.”

Twilight groaned and rolled her eyes. “Anyway.” She patted the seat again. “C’mon, join us.”

Fluttershy smiled and nodded, then got comfortable beside her friend. “It’s really nice to see you two. Why is Chrysalis disguised, though?”

Twilight shrugged. “She just said she wanted to be a pony today.”

“I just figured,” Chrysalis added in a haughty voice, “that there should be two good-looking ponies in Ponyville today. Call it a public service.”

Fluttershy chuckled softly. “Fair enough.”

“I do love the new look, by the way,” Chrysalis told her. “You look less like a pony every time I see you.”

“Um… Thank you?” Fluttershy replied hesitantly. “I guess that’s a good thing coming from you, at least.”

“So, what’s all this about Pinkie?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, right. Well, she fell in the mirror pool—”

Twilight groaned.

“—and it sort of took the bits of her that come out when she’s upset and made a second pony out of them.”

“Like a half-Pinkie?” Chrysalis asked.

“Sort of?” Fluttershy shrugged. “Neither of them seems to be entirely ‘Pinkie,’ at least how she was before. The, um… ‘New’ one is going by Pinkamena.”

“Does she need to be zapped?” Twilight asked.

Fluttershy shook her head fervently. “No, she’s… They’re both real ponies. We can’t do that, it would be like we killed her!”

“Okay, okay, we won’t zap her,” Twilight said. “What’s the plan, then?”

“I don’t think there is one,” Fluttershy replied. “We’re just trying to figure things out.”

“Well, let us know if there’s anything we can do to help,” Twilight said. “Either of us.”

Chrysalis sighed. “Yeah, sure, whatever.”

“Actually, Chrysalis might not be a bad idea,” Fluttershy said. “If anyone was going to know about becoming someone new, it would be you.”

“That’s a great idea,” Twilight said. “Bring her by the castle tomorrow, alright?”

“Late tomorrow,” Chrysalis added. “We’re going to be up late tonight.”

“Oh? What are you two up to?”

“We’re going to a party,” Twilight said.

“Oh! Do you think maybe Pinkie and Pinkamena would—”

“No!” Twilight blurted out. “Er, um… No, don’t bring them. It’s not really a Pinkie party.”

Fluttershy tilted her head. “Should I be worried?”

“Probab—” Chrysalis started, but Twilight jabbed her in the side.

“Not at all,” Twilight said. “I know what I’m doing.”

“Okay…” Fluttershy hummed hesitantly. “Well, just stay safe.”

“Of course,” Twilight said. She hopped up from the bench, and Chrysalis followed suit. “Well, we should go get ready. See you tomorrow?”

Fluttershy nodded. “Mm-hm. See you then.”

Twilight smiled and waved, and then the two of them vanished in a bright flash of magic.

Fluttershy was alone again, left to ponder things. She got up from the bench slowly and started walking absentmindedly towards her cottage as thoughts ran through her mind.

“Not a Pinkie party…” She mumbled under her breath as she walked.

She thought about what that could mean, but came up with nothing. Pinkie was up for just about everything she could think of, and anything else that came to mind was dangerous or otherwise taboo enough that she couldn’t possibly imagine Twilight there. Of course, she could be wrong, it could be that being with Chrysalis had emboldened Twilight more than she thought, but that much? Fluttershy found it hard to believe.

The thoughts stuck in her head, though, until she found herself taking the final few steps up to her cabin. By this point the sun was starting to set, and Fluttershy suddenly realized how late she’d stayed out on her own. She couldn’t help but imagine Pinkamena, having gotten home before her, crushed by disappointment and worry so badly that it outweighed whatever she had gone to do.

When she opened the door, though, there was no sign of Pinkamena. The lights were all off, the house was quiet, and the only sign of life was Pinkie Pie, who was curled up and asleep in an armchair.

Fluttershy let out a breath of relief. She turned the lights on and walked quietly over to Pinkie to shake her gently awake.

“Hmm?” Pinkie yawned and pried her eyes open. “Oh, Fluttershy!” Her voice was excited but quiet, making her sound exhausted. She held out her legs to offer a hug. “Welcome home!”

Fluttershy smiled and pulled Pinkie up into her lap as she joined her on the chair. “Thank you, sweetie. I’m sorry I was out all day.”


Pinkie nuzzled into Fluttershy’s chest. “It’s okay. You don’t have to take care of me all the time, I’m a grown-up.”

Fluttershy wrapped her legs around Pinkie and held her close. “I know that, but I still worry about you. Did you at least have a good day?”

“I’unno. I guess.”

Fluttershy tilted her head. “Well, what did you do?”

“Uh… Napped.”

“Anything else?”

“I ate some snacks.”

Fluttershy pursed her lips. “Pinkie, did you sleep all day?”

“I guess,” Pinkie said. “I just didn’t feel like getting up.”

Fluttershy frowned and kissed Pinkie’s forehead. “Are you feeling alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I mean…” Pinkie thought for a moment. “I don’t feel like I’m getting sad or anything. I’m fine.”

“You don’t sound fine.”

“I am, though!” Pinkie pouted. “If anything, I’m just bored.”

“Well, that’s probably because you slept all day,” Fluttershy told her.

“I guess, but… I just couldn’t think of anything I felt like doing.” Pinkie rested her chin on Fluttershy’s chest pitifully. “Everything just seemed… Boring.”

“Hmm… Well, we should do something,” Fluttershy decided. “Does anything interesting happen in Ponyville after dark that we could go do after Pinkamena gets back?”

“Not really.”

“Well, I know there’s at least one party happening,” Fluttershy said. “Twilight and Chrysalis are going, but they said it’s ‘not a Pinkie party,’ whatever that means.”

Pinkie looked confused. “I’m the party pony, though. Everything’s a Pinkie party.”

“That’s what I thought,” Fluttershy said, “but they seemed to think taking you would be a bad idea.”

“That’s just silly.” Pinkie pouted. “Now I really wanna go.”

“Well, they didn’t actually say where it was,” Fluttershy said, “so I don’t think we can anyway.”

“Nah, I can just ask Vinyl. She’ll know for sure.” Pinkie nuzzled Fluttershy again, then hopped up out of the chair. “C’mon, let’s get ready.”

Fluttershy grinned. “So now you feel like going out?”

“Yeah, there’s a party that I don’t know about. I can’t sleep though—”

There was a knock at the door.

They both turned to look at it, and Fluttershy pushed herself out of the chair. “I told Pinkamena she didn’t have to knock,” she said as she walked over, “why won’t she just—”

When she opened the door, she stopped talking. It wasn’t Pinkamena standing there, but rather a very flustered-looking Rainbow Dash, who stepped in past Fluttershy as soon as the door was open.

“Woah,” she said when she saw Pinkie, “so there really are two of you now. Wild.”

“Pinkamena was with you?” Fluttershy asked. “Where is she now?”

“Uhh, that’s kinda why I’m here,” Rainbow Dash said. “I think you might need to go find her.”
> Chapter 14: Risk and Reward
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“This is it?”

Pinkamena was staring up at a nice, if slightly run-down, home near the center of Ponyville. The white paint that covered the walls had chipped away in places, the railing around the porch was missing a few balusters, but it looked like a perfectly fine place to live. There was even a garden gnome sitting in the shaggy grass.

That said, though, Pinkamena couldn’t recall anypony ever actually living in the house. She was confident she knew everypony in Ponyville and nearly as confident she could chart out where they all lived, and as far as she knew this house was empty. It had never even crossed her mind that it might not be; Ponyville had plenty of empty homes, just waiting for somepony new to move into town.

“It’s more than it appears,” Octavia replied mysteriously as she hopped up onto the porch. She was wearing a tight blue dress that clung to her just the right amount, and she’d tied her mane up in a bun. Vinyl Scratch followed close behind, sporting a showy white jacket.

Pinkamena, despite having no wardrobe, had politely declined the others’ offers to loan her clothes, and so all that she had to stand out was her newly dyed fur.

Octavia led the group inside of what, still, seemed to be a normal house. It had a normal layout, normal furniture, and a perfectly normal amount of dust for a house that had been empty for years.

“Are you sure this is the right place?” Pinkamena asked.

Vinyl Scratch laughed sharply. “C’mon, P, have some faith.”

“I do,” Pinkamena replied, “I just don’t get it. This is just a—”

She cut off mid-sentence. Octavia had led them into the kitchen and opened what should have been a pantry, but behind the door wasn’t at all a place to keep food.

The door opened to a cramped, all-metal elevator lined with bright fluorescent lights.

Octavia stood aside to let the others in. Vinyl went in right away, but Pinkamena faltered. The elevator looked old, really old, and there was hardly room for two ponies, let alone all three of them.

“Is this thing safe?” She asked cautiously.

“Oh, almost certainly not,” Octavia replied, “but the odds of us being the ones who it breaks on are pretty low. I’ve piled some heavy stuff in here before.”

Pinkamena still hesitated, but soon enough she forced her hooves forward and onto the cold, thin metal floor of the elevator. She took up a spot next to Vinyl, having to stand practically shoulder to shoulder with her, and Octavia followed her in and shut the door behind herself.

The elevator didn’t actually have buttons. Instead, there was just a lever stuck to one wall, and once they were all situated Octavia reached up and pulled it down.

There was a deep groan as the elevator shuddered to life. Ancient, probably rusty machinery ground together above them and filled the air with the awful screech of metal scraping metal. The box they were huddled in shook and rumbled for a moment then jolted down an inch before beginning its slow descent into the unknown. The wall past Octavia started sliding upwards, pulling the door to the surface away from them and replacing it with bland, uncaring concrete.

“So,” Vinyl spoke loudly to be heard over the machinery, “you never actually told us about your legs. Pinkie never seemed like the kinda pony who’d get that sort of work done.”

“That’s—” Pinkamena started, then realized she was being too quiet and spoke up. “That’s the point. Sometimes when I got sad before I’d wanna do it, but I never did cuz I knew I’d hate it once I felt better. Now that I’m not Pinkie, though, I can do whatever I want.”

“That’s quite the leap,” Octavia said.

“I wanted something big,” Pinkamena replied. “Like, really big.”

“Well, did it work?” Vinyl asked.

“Yeah!” Pinkamena held up one of her legs proudly. “I love ‘em! It was super worth all the pain.”

Before either of them could respond, the concrete wall behind Octavia started to slide away, revealing an empty expanse beyond. Suddenly, they were in midair, being slowly lowered through a massive cavern.

Pinkamena’s eyes went wide as she looked out. The space was huge, easily as big as Ponyville itself, and filled with buildings carved out of the stone. Unlike Ponyville, though, very few of these buildings were houses. Most were massive structures, stadiums and amphitheaters and big, boxy buildings housing who-knows-what. 

It was made all the more astonishing by the lighting. Neon was everywhere, adorning signs, lining the roads, marking the edges of buildings. It gave definition to stone that should have been too far to see, marked out a sprawling city that otherwise would have remained hidden to her eyes.

Then there were the ponies. The space was bursting with them, just as full as Ponyville in midday. They were roaming the streets, running and playing and chatting just as ponies did in Ponyville before the sun went down. Pinkamena recognized a few faces—Lyra, Maud, Cheerilee—but the vast majority of them were strangers to her.

“Woooaaaahhhh.” Pinkamena was absolutely stunned. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. “How did I not know about this?”

“It’s just not really a Pinkie kinda place,” Vinyl told her. “I mean, the ponies are nice, and it always felt like we should introduce you—er, her?—to them, but the attractions are a bit too, uh… Seedy.”

“You know I live next door to Dracula, right?”

Vinyl Scratch stared at her. “I did not know that.”

“I can’t imagine Dracula invites you to many underground fighting rings, though,” Octavia said.

“Nah, we don’t have one of those. Fluttershy’s been looking into ways to do it safely, cuz some of the vampires grew up fighting and still wanna do it, but—” She cut herself off and blinked. “Oh. That’s the kinda thing that’s down here?”

“Yeah, fights are in, uh… That building,” Vinyl said, pointing out into the city. “We’re not gonna start there, but hey, who knows what the night may bring.”

As they spoke, the ground slowly came nearer and nearer, and before they knew it their conversation was interrupted by a sudden jolt as the elevator hit the bottom of its track. The three of them hopped out, and as soon as it was empty the carriage reversed its direction and started to return to the surface.

“Wait,” Pinkamena said, “how do we leave when we’re done?”

Her question went either unheard or just unanswered. “C’mon, this way,” Vinyl said as the took the lead down the busy main street.

As they walked, Pinkamena glanced at the places they were passing. Bars, clubs, a few unlabelled businesses with bouncers standing outside their doors. All of it carved from stone. All of it lined in brilliant neon.

They passed by a hotel, one of the taller buildings in town, and Pinkamena suddenly realized that she hadn’t seen any houses. She’d hardly even seen any shops, and those she had seen were all specialized places. There was no living space in sight, no general stores for ponies to get groceries from, no quiet places to take an afternoon stroll. The entirety of the space seemed devoted to entertainment.

“What’s this place called?” Pinkamena asked.

“Oh, we’re still in Ponyville,” Octavia said. “Just, well, under it.”

“So there’s just a whole secret second half to Ponyville?”

“Well, I wouldn’t call it a secret,” Octavia answered. “It’s just a bit taboo to talk about these types of places in polite company.”

“I’d imagine most of the ponies up top at least know about this place,” Vinyl added, “and it’s not like we had a big town meeting and agreed to keep you in the dark. Just… Nopony told you.”

Pinkamena hummed sadly to herself. “I can handle this stuff. I’m a grown pony.”

“Well, wait til after we actually show you around to say that,” Vinyl told her. “We’re about at the first stop.”

Vinyl Scratch turned and started making a beeline for the entrance to a moderately-sized stadium. The lights that circled the walls of the building swirled around, changing colors rapidly and making the building feel like it was constantly changing before their eyes. There were no signs indicating what the building was actually used for, but banners with logos and pictures of athletes were strung about.

“Ooh, excellent choice,” Octavia said.

As they walked closer, Pinkamena started to make out sounds from inside. Mostly cheering crowds and an indecipherable announcer, but behind it was what sounded like a cluster of things rolling around and crashing together.

“What is it?”

“Oh, you’ll see,” Vinyl Scratch teased.

When they finally reached the wide double doors and pushed one open, they were greeted with a rolling wave of sound. Screaming, excited ponies just about drowned out everything else, but the rest was clearer now. It had definitely been rolling she heard before, and now that she could tell that it was the rolling of wheels, she was starting to get a hunch at what she was being brought into.

Vinyl didn’t take them in straight in. Instead, she turned down a hallway and went deeper inside. “You picked good ponies to come with,” she told Pinkamena. “Between me and Octavia, we oughta have an in just about everywhere.”

They came up to a row of doors all labeled as ‘reserved,’ which had a single pony standing watch to make sure nopony went in who wasn’t meant to be there. He was tall and stoic, but much too thin to actually be intimidating, so he wasn’t really a bouncer. He was more of just a monitor.

He nodded politely as the group approached. “Hey, DJ, it’s been a while. You booked tonight?”

“Nah, just showing a friend around,” Vinyl told him. “Any empty rooms?”

“Just about all of ‘em,” he told her. “Slow day. No big players here today.”

Vinyl laughed. “Socialites,” she said disdainfully. “The newbies are the best part.”

They walked into one of the rooms, a private booth with a few comfortable chairs, and Pinkamena had her suspicions confirmed. A smattering of ponies were whizzing around the court on skates, blocking and slamming into each other as they cleared a path or tried to stop the other team. It was a bit of a violent sport, but it certainly wasn’t something Pinkie was opposed to.

As the other two got comfortable, Pinkamena raised an eyebrow at them. “I’ve played on a roller derby team before. I thought you were bringing me someplace, like… Bad, or something.”

Vinyl snorted out a laugh. “Yeah, you played in a regulation game, maybe. Just watch.”

Pinkamena shrugged and took a seat for herself. As much as she wanted to try new things, it had been a while since she’d seen a match. It was easy enough to settle into watching them, picking out the ponies with stars on their helmets to keep her eye on, and before long she started to feel the old excitement build up inside again.

“Who are the teams?” She asked without taking her eyes off the action.

“The pink team is Ponyville,” Octavia said. “The team’s called Black Hole. The ones in green are from the caves up in the Crystal Kingdom, I think their team is called Frostbite or something along those lines.”

“Caves?”

“Look at their wings, P,” Vinyl told her.

Pinkamena looked closely, and understood right away. Instead of the light, fluffy wings most pegasi sported, the members of the opposing team all had sharp, leathery bat wings.

“Vampires?”

“No, they’re just bat ponies,” Octavia said. “Their home is a lovely place.”

“You’ve been there?”

“Oh, being a performer takes you all sorts of places,” Octavia told her. “It’s a wonderful life.”

“That sounds awesome,” Pinkamena said. “Maybe I should do that…” With that thought on her mind, she turned back and started watching the match more intently.

They’d come in right near the end of a tight game. Frostbite was in the lead, but if Ponyville got momentum they could easily turn it around before the end, and they knew that. Their blockers were putting their all into it, and the other team’s tired players just couldn’t keep up. 

Ponyville scored a point, and the crowds erupted. Most cheered, but there was a surprisingly large section that was rooting for the other team and spat vitriol at the turn. Spurred on by both the support and the opposition, Ponyville scored another point, and then another. 

It was right down to the end, and if Frostbite didn’t do something they were sure to be overtaken. As could be expected, they subbed out a player, but Pinkamena furrowed her brow at the sight of the new mare. She was a tiny, scrawny little thing who looked like she’d be thrown out of the stadium with a single blow, but she was being put on the track with incredible confidence.

When the action started back up, it became very clear where that confidence came from. The little bat zipped onto the field, too quick and small for any of Ponyville’s blockers to do anything about her, and rocketed towards the pony with the star on her helmet.

Pinkamena was sure the pony would just bat her away and keep going, but then something unexpected happened.

Once she was close, the bat pony spread out her wings and flapped them once, launching herself into the air and pushing herself even faster. She looked like she was going to collide head-on, but at the last moment she twisted around in the air, opened her mouth, and sank her fangs into Ponyville’s player. With the shock of the bite and the force from how fast she’d been moving, it was then no problem for her to flip the bigger pony over and onto the floor, where she landed with a hard crack.

Pinkamena gasped. Beside her, Octavia inhaled sharply through her teeth, and Vinyl Scratch barked out a laugh.

“Th-They can’t do that!” Pinkamena was in shock. “They definitely can’t do that!”

Despite her protests, though, the referees called the game. Ponyville’s player had twisted something in the fall, and there was no way she’d be scoring any more points. The victory was given to Frostbite.

“B-B-But she bit her!” Pinkamena looked over at her companions with wide eyes. “Why weren’t they disqualified? Or at least penalized or… Or something!”

“P, it ain’t like the stuff you’re used to down here,” Vinyl Scratch said. She leaned to her side and lifted her glasses to look Pinkamena in the eyes. “That’s the whole reason these ponies are here. I mean, look!”

Vinyl pointed out to the track, and Pinkamena followed her gaze to see both the tiny bat and the pony she’d bitten, talking to each other and laughing about it like nothing strange had happened at all. Even though the bigger pony couldn’t keep one hoof on the ground, even though the bat pony had a stain on her leg from where she wiped her mouth clean, they were acting like friends.

“I don’t get it,” Pinkamena mumbled.

“They had fun,” Octavia said. “Some ponies just like things a little less… Sheltered.”

“It’s fun?” Pinkamena looked back at her. “Getting hurt like that? That can be fun?”

Octavia shrugged. “Sure, if you’ve the right mindset for it. Knowing you can push your body to the limit without too much risk, or even with fairly severe risk in some cases, can be exhilarating for some.”

“Can…” Pinkamena looked out at the track and watched the players talk and laugh and celebrate each other on a game well played. She watched them rub sore spots, and even show off fresh scrapes and bruises to the other team, with smiles on their faces. Then she turned back to the other two.

“Can I try?”
> Chapter 15: Day and Night
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pinkamena crouched down, balancing on her blades in a wide stance. She knew the rules, she’d done this before. She was more than confident. The only difference here was that the rules were more lax; how much harder could that possibly make things?

Neither team had been up to another match, but they agreed to play a bit longer so that she could try it out. It was apparently not uncommon for ponies to want to take a shot at the sport, and there was time before the next match started when the track would be empty. They’d even agreed to let Pinkamena be the jammer, the player who scored the points, since that was what she had experience with.

She looked to her side, at the other team’s jammer, and grinned. The long, lean bat nodded back to her in a friendly way. She was a rookie, too, despite looking built for the sport, so she’d jumped at the opportunity to practice.

The whistle blew.

Pinkamena kicked off hard and sped forward. Her experience paid off, let her fall more easily into the rhythm of the game, and she burst ahead of the other jammer.

Her lead was short-lived, though, because as she was distracted looking back at the other pony, a massive blocker slammed into her and sent her flying out of bounds. She landed hard on her side, bounced, and then slid several feet before eventually coming to a stop.

Her head was still spinning when the other jammer rolled up to her and offered a hoof to help her up, which Pinkamena took gladly. It took her a moment to find her balance again.

“You good?” The other pony asked.

Pinkamena shook off the daze and nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Can we go again?”

The bat pony laughed. “I’m game if you are.”

Pinkamena was more careful the second time, and it paid off. She sped past the other jammer again and managed to dodge the first three blockers who came after her. The fourth, though, stuck out a wing just as Pinkamena thought she was clear and clotheslined her, flipping her effortlessly onto her back.

The third round ended similarly, as did the fourth. She just couldn’t break past the pack. 

The fifth round was the worst of all. Right when the whistle was blown, the other jammer swung her wing under Pinkamena’s legs and pulled them out from under her. It was over before it even began.

Pinkamena huffed as she pushed back to her hooves. “Well, that’s hardly fair!”

The other pony stuck her tongue out. “Push back if you don’t wanna get pushed around!”

“But I like scoring the points cuz I don’t have to hurt anypony! Not how I’ve played, anyway.”

“Well, clearly that ain’t good enough,” the bat pony said. “So either push back or quit whining when you lose!” She shot Pinkamena a prideful smirk.

“I’m not whining, I’m—”

Pinkamena was cut off by the sound of the whistle, and the other jammer sped away from her. It took her a moment to register what had happened before she zipped down the track as well.

With the pony’s words echoing in her head, Pinkamena pushed her way into the pack. She dodged the first blocker, and the second. Her team kept the third well away. Only one was left, the one she had yet to pass.

The bat pony stretched her wings out wide, making no attempt to hide her play. Pinkamena grimaced at the arrogance.

Push back, she told herself.

Just when she was about to get knocked down, Pinkamena kicked to the side and rammed her shoulder into the other pony’s. The bat’s cockiness had gotten the better of her, let her think she didn’t need to ground herself, and thanks to that Pinkamena blew right through her and sent her spinning.

Pinkamena winced as pain shot through her shoulder, but it was followed closely by a rush of adrenaline. She’d done it, she made it through the pack, and now she was coming up on the other jammer fast.

Pinkamena wanted to pass her without incident, but when the other pony looked back, the look on her face made it clear that that wasn’t going to happen.

Pinkamena braced herself as she rode up alongside the other jammer.

The bat pony smirked and, in a show of bravado, tried to repeat her move from before and swipe her wing under Pinkamena.

The adrenaline coursing through her let Pinkamena see the strike coming, though, and she bounced into the air, straight over the wing and out of danger.

Then her body moved on its own, and before she landed Pinkamena delivered a sharp kick to the bat pony’s side. It knocked her severely off balance, and as Pinkamena landed roughly on her wheels she saw the other pony topple over in the corner of her vision.

Pinkamena skidded to a stop and spun around to look at the bat pony sprawled out beside her. A mix of emotions flooded into her, sadness, guilt, worry, but more than any of it she felt an incredible, undeniable rush.

“Woo!” Pinkamena sprung into the air and flailed her hooves in a cheer. “I did it! I did it I did it I—”

As Pinkamena landed from one bounce, the bat pony on the floor spun around and took her hooves out from under her. The world became a blur, and the next thing she knew, Pinkamena was flat on her back with the bat standing over her, holding her down with a knee to the chest.

The fangs that showed when the bat pony grinned gave the expression a hint of something sinister, a hint that she played up by running her tongue over her fangs like she was staring down at a piece of captured prey.

Then she laughed. “Didn’t think you had it in you.”

Pinkamena chuckled nervously. “Yeah, uh, me neither.”

The bat pony stepped off of her and held out her hoof. “What’s your name?”

“Pinkamena.” She took the help standing back up.

“Cute. I’m Midnight Mist.” She grinned again, flashed her fangs, and wiped some sweat from her forehead.

Pinkamena blushed. That wasn’t a response she’d ever expected to her name, especially not from a pony like this.

Pinkamena found herself looking over Midnight Mist more closely. Up close, she could make out the slight green tinge to her dark, desaturated fur, which nicely matched the aquamarine ponytail that fell down around one shoulder. Strands of hair that had come loose during the game fell limp around her face. She was incredibly fit, so much so that she looked like she would have a serious chance in a race against Rainbow Dash, and it was only made more apparent by her height. If she’d been any thinner Pinkamena would have thought of her as lanky, but as it was she just looked lithe.

Pinkamena jumped when Midnight Mist started talking again and interrupted her thoughts. “You know, Pinkamena, this is my first time in Ponyville. I’d love a guide to show me around.”

“I-I, um—” Pinkamena stammered awkwardly. “I could try?”

Another pointed grin. A wing around her shoulders. A blur of things happened, and then Pinkamena was standing just outside the building with Midnight Mist, blushing deeply.

Pinkamena swallowed anxiously. “I’m, um, not sure how good I’ll be as a guide, Midnight Mist.”

“Geez, you’re nervous.” She gave Pinkamena a light, friendly shove. “Try to chill. And just call me Midnight.”

“Okay… Midnight.” Pinkamena smiled up at her. “Well, to tell you the truth, this is actually my first time down here, too. I don’t actually know my way around.”

“Hah! No worries. What’s the fun in knowing where you’re going, anyway?”

Behind them, the doors opened up and Vinyl Scratch and Octavia walked out. “Tryin to ditch us, P?” Vinyl asked, wrapping a leg around Pinkamena’s shoulders.

“No!” Pinkamena gasped. “No, I was just—”

“I’m joking.” Vinyl laughed. “I ain’t your babysitter. We’ll be at the card tables if you need us. If you don’t, well… See ya.”

“It was wonderful spending time with you, Pinkamena,” Octavia added as the couple walked away.

“Well,” Midnight mused, “you know what this means?”

“Huh?” Pinkamena gave her a confused look.

Midnight grinned and put a hoof to Pinkamena’s nose. “It means you’re mine for the rest of the night, and we’re gonna have some fun.”
> Chapter 16: Food and Famine
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Midnight ran her tongue across her fangs to clean them as she pushed away an empty plate. She leaned forward on the table and looked hard into Pinkamena’s eyes. “So, you’ve never been to Ponyville before?”

The restaurant they’d found themselves in, The Knife’s Edge, seemed on the surface to be an entirely ordinary, if somewhat high-class, place to eat. It was dark inside, sure, but every table had candles lit, and there was at least enough light for the servers to maneuver. The menu, too, looked completely normal, leaving Pinkamena to wonder what a place like this was doing underground. 

They’d stepped in for a quick dessert and decided to split a fruitcake. Midnight had devoured hers, cleaning her plate before Pinkamena had taken hardly a bite. This left Pinkamena blushing as she tried to eat with Midnight’s full attention bearing down on her.

“Actually, I lived in Ponyville most of my life,” Pinkamena told her, “I just didn’t know about this part of it.”

“Sounds like you were pretty sheltered. Do I need to take things easy on you?”

Pinkamena huffed quietly and turned her eyes away. “No. I can handle anything.”

“I thought so.” Midnight reached across the table and ran a hoof along one of the dark stripes adorning Pinkamena’s legs. “You don’t seem like that kind of pony.”

Pinkamena’s blush worsened. “U-Um, Midnight, there’s… There’s something I should clear up.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Hm?”

“I kind of, um, have a girlfriend,” Pinkamena said, her voice getting weaker with every word. A frown crossed Midnight’s face for just long enough for her to notice it before it was hidden away again. Pinkamena hated herself for not speaking up sooner. “I-I think it’s an open relationship!” She stuttered, trying to salvage the situation. “I mean, I know it definitely is for her, she just hasn’t actually said that I could…” She trailed off into meaningless mumbles.

“Doesn’t sound very fair if it’s only open for one of you.” There was a clear layer of unspoken judgment in Midnight’s voice, though not directed at Pinkamena.

“I mean, I wouldn’t expect her to say no,” Pinkamena told her. “I just… I need to hear her say yes, you know?”

She smirked. “Yeah, I get you. Just ask her before I leave town, yeah? I’m not gonna wait around for you.”

Pinkamena nodded. “Yeah, of course.” She smiled slightly at Midnight, then on a whim pushed the rest of her cake over. “Do you want the rest?”

Her eyes shot down to the cake. “You sure?” She was holding back, but it was clear the offer had piqued her interest.

Pinkamena giggled. “Mm-hm. I eat plenty of sweets already.” As Midnight grabbed the dessert with a wing and took a bite from it, Pinkamena reached up to her head, then frowned when she felt her flat mane. “Uh-oh.”

Midnight raised an eyebrow, not speaking since her mouth was full.

“I forgot my money.” Pinkamena started looking worried. “I used to keep it in my mane, but now it’s all flat and I forgot to get a bag so I—”

Midnight stood up, still holding the cake, and tilted her head. “C’mon.”

Pinkamena looked at her blankly. “What?”

Midnight pulled her up out of her seat and started to corral her towards the exit. “Just c’mon.”

“But what about—”

She hushed Pinkamena with a wingtip. Once they were safely outside, she pulled her wing back and laughed. “You worry too much.”

“But…” Pinkamena glanced back inside, then looked back at midnight. “We didn’t pay.”

“Correct.” She took another bite.

“If we don’t pay, then—” Pinkamena’s heart started to race as it finally started to settle in. She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Midnight, are we—”

“Mm-hm.” Calmly, Midnight wrapped a wing around Pinkamena’s back and started to lead her down the street. “I figured a sheltered pony like you wouldn’t have done that before.”

“I’m not sheltered!”

“Uh-huh.” She chuckled. “How’d it feel, though?”

“Huh?”

“Are you excited?”

“I—” Pinkamena again noticed her thumping heart, the pounding in her ears, the dizzying rush of adrenaline. “I don’t know,” she said. “I guess?”

Midnight rolled her eyes. “Alright, well, next time don’t get so in your head. Try to, you know, have fun.”

“Next time?”









“Look, just don’t let it slip that I’m the one who showed you guys down here, alright?” Rainbow Dash looked unusually serious as she rode the rickety elevator with Fluttershy and Pinkie. “Everypony already thinks I’m too reckless, if they start thinking I brought you two down here for a party or something I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“I really don’t understand the secrecy,” Fluttershy said. Beside them, the wall opened up and the town came into view. “I mean, we live next to Dracula.”

“Yeah, and I bet Dracula doesn’t invite you to super-dangerous magic duels.”

“Nah, Fluttershy put those on hold,” Pinkie told her. “She wants Starlight to write up some safety regulations, so until she gets back they’re—Oh.” Pinkie chuckled. “Yeah, okay, I get your point.”

“I’m not the weak little pony I used to be,” Fluttershy said. “Even if I wouldn’t ever come down here, I’m more than capable of handling being told that it exists.”

“I get that,” Rainbow Dash told her, “and yeah, we probably should have told you sooner. It’s just hard, cuz like… Not everypony knows you like we do! None of us wanted to look like we were putting you in danger.”

Fluttershy sighed. “I understand the sentiment, but please, don’t hide things like this from us. It’s…” Fluttershy shook her head. “Please, just don’t, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Rainbow Dash said. “I’m sorry.”

There was a beat of silence. Pinkie and Fluttershy took the chance to look out over the town, to take it all in and realize the magnitude of what they were stepping into.

“How are we supposed to find her?” Pinkie asked.

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Uhh, who would you go to if you wanted somepony to take you to a secret dangerous party town?”

“Vinyl Scratch.”

“The casino, then,” Rainbow Dash said. She pointed out at a ridiculously shaped building that was covered in flashing lights. It was like a huge, triangular wedge, each subsequent floor getting smaller and smaller, with a roof made entirely of glass. “She’s big into blackjack.”

“Ooh, I love blackjack!” Pinkie grinned and dug around in her mane for a sack of bits. She leaned over towards the others conspiratorially and whispered, “nopony thinks I’m smart enough to count cards.”

“Pinkie!” Fluttershy frowned disapprovingly. “That’s cheating.”

“That’s why I don’t play anymore,” Pinkie said as she hid the money away again. “I started to feel bad.’

Rainbow Dash cleared her throat. “Look, if you two don’t need anything else, I kinda wanna bail before we hit the ground. Like I said, my image and all.”

“Go ahead, Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy said. “Thank you for coming to me with this.”

“Bye, Dashie!” Pinkie added cheerily.

“No problem,” Rainbow Dash said. Then she stepped out into the abyss and spread out her wings to glide away.

The elevator hit the ground with a hollow clunk. It shook, nearly threw its passengers out onto the cold rocks. Fluttershy hopped out first and held out a wing to help Pinkie out, although the gesture was entirely unnecessary as the drop could hardly even be called a step. Still, Pinkie took it.

Cranks and gears ground together and started to drag the metal box away from them. They looked away from it, down the busy, unfamiliar street. Watched all the ponies stumbling through the shadows, intoxicated, bruised, suspicious. This was nothing like the Ponyville they knew. This was nothing like their new hometown. This was a place entirely its own.

“So…” Fluttershy broke the silence uneasily. “The casino, then?”

“I guess.”

They were watched as they walked. New faces examined new faces, wondering who these ponies unknown to the depths were. The ponies the couple did know regarded them with shocked, unbelieving gazes. The feeling of being watched was constant, and oppressive.

They didn’t dare talk, lest they draw more attention their way. They huddled together, hid away at the edge of the street as they made their way straight to the glass wedge. It was a short walk, but it was far too long.

The noise that welcomed them as they walked in through the cloudy glass doors was a relief more than anything. Ponies talking, machines chiming, any number of distractions existed here to keep eyes off of them. Ponies outside had nothing better to look at; in here, you had a reason for sitting wherever you sat.

The inside of the building was incredibly posh. None of the stone that made up the bulk of the building was visible, covered neatly by slats of boards that made the spacious building feel almost cozy. Even just the front room they stood in, which existed purely to have a reception desk and give ponies a comfortable place to sit for a few minutes, was decked out enough to give Rarity a run for her money. Velvet lounges lined the walls, a fire crackled in the clean brick fireplace that took up a large amount of one wall. The walls were lined with artworks, either commissioned or purchased, which were all paired with little plaques denoting the artists’ names. Even the baseboards had designs painstakingly carved into them.

They walked up to the desk, and the statuesque pony behind it. The stallion was tall, noble, and entirely professional. He smiled warmly as they approached.

“Welcome,” he said, “to The Fold.” He dragged his words out just long enough to make it seem intentional. “How may I assist you?”

Fluttershy smiled politely. “We were looking for the blackjack tables. Where would we find them?”

He looked the pair over slowly, as if assessing their worth, before nodding and pointing to an elevator. “Tables are on floor three. I wish you both luck.”

Pinkie giggled. “Thanks!” She skipped her way over to the elevator, and Fluttershy trotted along at her own pace.

The hotel’s elevator was far more comfortable than the one they rode down earlier. The floor was carpeted, the walls were thick and protective, and a mirror on the back wall made it look far more spacious than it was. The ride was a welcome moment of respite, and they wound up staying silent for the entire trip.

There was a ding, and the elevator doors slid open. The third floor was small, only able to hold a dozen or so tables hosting various games, and not a single table was empty. They stepped cautiously into this new world and ventured into the fray.

It wasn’t hard to find the telltale blue mane and white fur they were looking for. She was grumpier, and louder, than anypony else in the room. They walked up just as she threw some bits down onto the table.

“Dear,” they heard Octavia saying, “perhaps you should take a break? You’re on quite the losing streak.”

“I can afford it,” Vinyl Scratch replied, “and I ain’t gonna—” She stopped short and took her glasses off in shock. “What in Equestria…”

“Hi, Vinyl!” Pinkie greeted her like any other day. “Hey, Octavia!”

“Hello, Pinkie,” Octavia replied, “and you too, Fluttershy.” Fluttershy nodded politely and smiled.

“Yeah…” Vinyl Scratch shook her head and put her glasses back in their rightful place. “Who the heck brought you down here?”

“D—” Pinkie started, then cut herself off. “Uhhh, we… Found it. On our own.”

Fluttershy sighed. “Vinyl Scratch, I hate to be impatient, but… Well, I’m worried about Pinkamena. I don’t suppose you’ve seen her?”

“Yeah, she tagged along with us. Ain’t here, though.”

“She made a friend,” Octavia explained, “and they went off to see the sights together.”

“And you just let her?” Fluttershy asked.

“I ain’t her mom.”

“But… But she’s vulnerable,” Fluttershy said. “What if she gets hurt? What if this other pony hurts her?”

Vinyl Scratch looked sideways at Fluttershy. “What should I have done? Lectured her about talking to strangers? She’s an adult, Shy.”

“This place is dangerous, though,” Fluttershy protested. “If you brought her down here, you should have taken care of her, should have—”

She was interrupted by a tap on the shoulder and turned to see Pinkie, ears drooping and mouth etched into a frown.

“Fluttershy, don’t you trust us?”

“What?” Fluttershy sank, her momentum lost. “Of course I trust you, Pinkie. Why would you think otherwise?”

“She’s a grown-up. You can’t…” Pinkie sighed and shook her head. “Vinyl, was she okay? Did she seem happy?”

“Sure looked happy to me,” Vinyl Scratch told her. “A bit out of her depth, maybe, but she was havin fun with it.”

Pinkie looked back to Fluttershy. “Isn’t that enough?”

“I just don’t want her to get hurt,” Fluttershy said.

“Nopony wants anypony to get hurt,” Pinkie said. “I’m not gonna treat her like a little kid cuz of it.”

“That’s not fair,” Fluttershy said. “You know you got self-destructive when you were upset.”

“I know I was getting better. I know I haven’t done something to seriously hurt myself in years.”

“Come on, Pinkie, you must—”

Pinkie didn’t listen, and instead started walking towards the elevator. “I’m going home.”

“But Pinkie—”

“I’ll get Dashie to walk me home,” Pinkie said without looking back, “so you don’t have to worry.”
> Chapter 17: Smiles and Crowns
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Pinkie, wait!” Fluttershy trotted quickly up alongside Pinkie Pie at the edge of the dark street. Pinkie had been walking back towards the elevator with her head hung low, dragging her hooves with every step, and took a step away when Fluttershy came close to her. “Pinkie,” Fluttershy said quietly, “please don’t just leave like that.”

“I wanna go home.” They’d stopped walking, and Pinkie was staring hard at a wall.

“And you can,” Fluttershy told her, “I just don’t like leaving things unsaid.”

“What more is there to say?” Pinkie still wouldn’t look at Fluttershy. “You think me and Pinkamena are too broken to take care of ourselves.”

“I don’t!” Fluttershy made a distraught noise. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I’ll try to trust you more in the future.”

“Mm.”

“I’m really sorry.”

“I know.” Pinkie started walking again.

Fluttershy walked too but didn’t try to close the distance between them. “I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

Pinkie huffed. “You’re still going after her?”

Fluttershy sighed. “It’s not because of her, Pinkie, it’s just this place. It makes me uneasy. I won’t force her to come home or anything, I just want to see that she’s okay. Just to put my mind at ease.”

“Mm.”

“I… I love you, Pinkie.”

“I love you too, Fluttershy.” Pinkie didn’t look back.

Fluttershy stopped walking and watched as Pinkie made her slow, deliberate trek back to the elevator.

Then she sighed and turned around to face the city. “Okay, Pinkamena, where could you be?”









Midnight gave Pinkamena a light shove towards the heavy glass doors leading into a fancy store. “C’mon, it’s easy. Just act like you’re supposed to be doing what you’re doing and nopony will question it.”

“I don’t know…” Pinkamena scratched one leg with her other hoof. “It-It’s not right! I’m a good pony!”

Midnight rolled her eyes. “Come on, a little fun isn’t gonna turn you into Grogar or whatever. Anyway, look at this place! You don’t set up a shop like that in a place like this unless you’re expecting this kinda thing. I bet they’re down here just so kids will swipe from them instead of somepony who actually needs the cash.”

“I don’t know, that’s a real stretch…”

“Look, you told me at dinner you wanna try new things. This is a new thing! Just do it once, at a place where it won’t hurt the owner, and if you don’t like it you never have to do it again. You can even go back in and just pretend you forgot you had it on you.”

Pinkamena bit her lip and glanced in the window, looking over the wide array of jewelry and accessories set out for display. “I don’t even know what I would want. It’s not like I have any piercings.”

“I dunno, a bracelet?” Midnight thought for a moment as she looked over Pinkamena. “You’d look cute in a scarf I bet.”

“How am I supposed to hide a scarf?”

“I never said hide it. Just wear it out.”

Pinkamena danced anxiously on the spot. “I really don’t know.”

Midnight feigned a pout. “Aw, but now that I imagined it I really wanna see you in a scarf.” She leaned in close, ran a hoof along Pinkamena’s chin. Pinkamena could feel her breath hot on her ear. “Do it for me?”

Pinkamena blushed hard and gulped. “I-I-I—” She took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

Midnight chuckled breathily, still inches from Pinkamena. “Good luck, cutie. I’ll be waiting.”

Pinkamena took a step forward on unsteady legs. She stopped herself, focused and forced her legs to stop shaking, then kept moving. She felt her heart starting to pump faster.

The glass door was heavier than she expected. When she let go of it after walking in, it slammed shut on its own and let the whole store know she’d come in. She jumped and yelped, then shoved a hoof in her mouth to stifle herself.

She looked around. The store was empty. She let out her breath and moved deeper in.

The layout of the store was strange and hard to navigate. There were no clear aisles, and nothing seemed to be grouped together. Next to a low table filled with brooches would be a rack of ties, even though there had been plenty of ties right at the entrance. It didn’t help that half of the spaces that could have been aisles were blocked by full-length mirrors set up to let customers look at themselves. It was a mess.

She wandered aimlessly for a bit, trying to either find the scarves or divine the layout of the store, and eventually came across the latter. It struck her while she was glancing over a table of necklaces and noticed they were all turquoise. She hadn’t noticed it before because of the garish patterns half of the items had and the owner’s bizarre prioritization, but now that she saw it, it couldn’t be more clear. 

She glanced quickly around and easily located the section of the store filled with black clothing and jewelry. It wasn’t near the check-out counter, which was lucky since the cashier had returned some time ago, but it also wasn’t anywhere near the exit, and that made her hooves feel like lead.

Still, she pushed her way towards it.

It wasn’t a very big section, since black gemstones were uncommon and black accessories had a tendency to be fairly uniform, and it was simple to find the small supply of scarves. There were maybe two dozen to choose from, all hanging in a line from a single rack that Pinkamena reached out for and started to rifle through. There wasn’t much to see; Black, black, and more black, none of which jumped out at her as particularly noteworthy.

One towards the end caught her eye, though. The bulk of it was entirely black, but a sizable portion at each end had been portioned out into chunks of gray that got lighter as they neared the ends. The colors reminded her of her sisters. She pulled it down and wrapped it around her neck, then wandered over to the nearest mirror and looked herself over.

It was an incredible sight. She hadn’t actually looked at herself in some time, and she hardly recognized the pony she was looking at. The swirling patterns on her legs almost seemed to melt into the scarf, which puffed out around her neck and gave her a sense of volume that offset the flatness of her mane. It offset it enough, in fact, that she thought her mane almost looked… Nice.

Almost.

An idea struck her, and she spun around to look around her. It was easy to find the table with what she wanted, a smattering of onyx and obsidian jewelry of all sorts, and she dug through them for what she wanted.

She found one that was perfect, a simple dark gray band studded with black diamonds, went back to the mirror and affixed the hair clip to her mane. She pulled the flat, smooth strands of hair behind her ear and fixed any glaring imperfections, then looked herself over again.

Her heart raced. She looked perfect. She looked like a real pony, with her own thoughts and her own mind. She looked like Pinkamena.

And the ensemble was made all the better by the wide smile that stretched across her face.

With a skip in her step and a twinkle in her eye, she made her way to the door. She barely even remembered the fear of being caught or the terror of becoming a bad pony. She could think only of—

“Ma’am?”

Pinkamena froze. Her heart started to beat out of control. Blood rushed to her ears and she started to feel light-headed. She could hardly move her body, and only just managed to turn and face the voice.

The cashier was looking straight at her. This was it.

“Could you come here for a moment?” She asked. The pony behind the counter was impeccably dressed. She had the kind of style that made it clear she wanted to look fabulously wealthy, and she had a confidence that said that she didn’t care if you knew that she wanted that.

Pinkamena pulled on her legs like a puppeteer pulling on strings, and like a puppet, her body took slow, deliberate steps over to the counter.

“Y-Yes?” Pinkamena croaked out.

The mare smiled warmly. “Yes, I was just wondering where you had your work done. It’s so clean, I’m just stunned!”

“M-My work?”

“Your legs, dear.” She pointed down over the counter. “The dye?”

“O-Oh.” Pinkamena took a moment to process the question. “Oh!” A feeling of utter relief washed over her. “Um, my friend Rarity did it for me.”

The mare gasped. “The Rarity? You’re her friend? Well, of course you are, look at you!” She chuckled to herself. “What’s your name, dearie?”

“Um… Pinkamena.”

“Pinkamena…” She put a hoof to her chin in a show of thought. “Oh! Are you that ‘Pinkie Pie’ she speaks so fondly of?”

“Um…” Pinkamena pursed her lips. She hadn’t considered how to answer this question to strangers. “No, she’s… She’s my sister.”

“Oh, how cute! Pinkie and Pinkamena, are you twins?”

Pinkamena thought for a moment, then smiled. “Yeah… Yeah, we are.”

“Well, be sure to tell Rarity that her skill with dye is impeccable.”

Pinkamena nodded. “I will. Thank you, ma’am.” Then she turned and, as slowly as she could manage with her racing heart, walked out of the store.

Midnight greeted her on the street with a grin. “Well, look at you! I knew you’d be cute in a scarf.”

Pinkamena smiled behind red cheeks. “Thank you. I… I really like it.”

“Good!” Midnight turned, wrapped her wing around Pinkamena, pulled her close and started them off down the street. “So? How’d it feel?”

Pinkamena gave her a confused glance. “How’d what feel?”

Midnight scoffed. “Stealing, silly. Was it fun?”

“I…” Pinkamena looked down and searched her feelings. 

Had it been fun? She was thrilled with how she looked, and she’d even grabbed a second thing, but did that mean she had fun? Was Pinkamena a pony that liked to steal things?

It was too hard to say. In the end, she just shrugged. “I don’t really know. I can’t tell.”

Midnight squeezed her. “Well, you didn’t not have fun, and you gave it a shot. That’s what matters.”

Pinkamena nodded. “Yeah.” Without thinking, she leaned her head on Midnight’s shoulder. “So, what’s next?”

“You aren’t tired? Aren’t you surface ponies supposed to sleep at night?”

Pinkamena giggled. “I could stay up all night if I’m having fun.”

“Well, there’s plenty of options. Magic duels, gambling.” Midnight looked down at Pinkamena and, impulsively, ran a hoof through her mane. “Do you wanna go bigger or smaller than swiping a scarf?”

“There’s bigger stuff than stealing?”

Midnight laughed. “Oh, yeah. I mean, we’re not gonna go break the law more, but… Well, you’ll see.” She grinned at Pinkamena, and Pinkamena grinned back.
> Chapter 18: The Beginning and The End
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

There’s no way, Fluttershy thought to herself as she delved into the dark, musty depths of the nondescript building she’d been pointed towards. That pony had been so confident that Pinkamena was in here, but…

There was just no way.

At first, it had just looked like a warehouse. Lines of tall shelves stacked with boxes and palettes, waiting to be needed. The noise from a backroom betrayed that there was more, though, and as Fluttershy walked through the dim aisles it became more and more clear what the noises were.

Mostly it was yelling. Excited cheers, angry boos, that sort of thing. There wasn’t so much that it sounded like a stadium, but there were probably fifteen or twenty ponies there, all highly invested in what they were watching.

Behind that, though, was something more telling. Dull thuds, followed by grunts. Tired, panting ponies. The occasional series of thumps as somepony was knocked off their hooves and bounced across the ring. It was obvious what she was walking into, as much as she didn’t want to believe it.

Stepping through the heavy metal door that led into the loading bay showed her to be right, though. A smattering of ponies were circled around a makeshift ring of thin mats, all excited for different reasons. She couldn’t see the action past the crowd, but the sound of blows was clear as day.

She’d walked into a fight.

She couldn’t see Pinkamena anywhere. That was a bit of a relief, as it let her believe for a moment longer that Pinkamena wasn’t actually in a place this brutal, but she had to be sure. The crowd shifted back as she stepped forward, one of the fighters apparently having been knocked in their direction. She could hear their body slide across the—

“That’s a knockout!” A referee? An official, at the very least, announced the end to the fight. The crowd erupted, bits were exchanged. “A shocking win for The Pink Puffball! Are you all really going to let this newcomer show you up?”

The words barely registered in Fluttershy’s ears. The crowd had parted enough for her to see the ring, and she was frozen in place with her mouth hanging open.

One pony was on the ground, and standing over them… Was Pinkamena. Swirls of darkness on her legs, blood on her chin, and a smile on her face.

“Woo!” Pinkamena jumped and cheered. “I’m the best!” Once she’d had her fill of celebration, she walked over to the side of the ring, was handed a scarf by a strange bat pony that she flipped around her neck, and then started to make her way over to check on the other pony.

Halfway there, their eyes met.

Everything froze. Fluttershy, horror-stricken. Pinkamena, still in the tail end of an adrenaline rush. An eternity passed in that moment, an infinity of instants stretched out before either of them could so much as move.

Fluttershy didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. She didn’t want to believe it. To see truth in the scene before her would change her view of the world forever.

She sat down, eyes wide and mouth agape.

Once the stillness was broken, Pinkamena rushed over to her. “F-Fluttershy, what are you doing here? You can’t be here!”

“I was worried about you,” Fluttershy breathed out in hardly a whisper.

“I’m fine!” Pinkamena wiped her chin clean on the back of her leg. “I’m great, even. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Great?” Fluttershy’s mind was starting to catch up with her. “How?”

“What do you mean, ‘how?’ Look at me!” Pinkamena showed off her legs, her scarf. “I look great, I’m trying new things, I—”

“You hurt that pony.”

Pinkamena blinked. She looked back at the other fighter, who at this point was sitting on a stool and chugging water, then back to Fluttershy. “That’s the point of the game, though.”

“Hurting other ponies isn’t a game, Pinkamena. It’s serious!”

“Why?” Pinkamena tilted her head. “It’s not like I hurt her feelings.”

“Wh—” Fluttershy was aghast. “I don’t understand, Pinkamena. You never would’ve hurt anypony else like this before.”

“Before when? I’ve only existed for a day.”

“But before that, you—”

“I’m not Pinkie.”

“I’m not saying that.”

“Then why don’t you want me to try new things?” Pinkamena frowned deeply and absentmindedly played with the scarf. “Why can’t I do stuff Pinkie wouldn’t?”

“You can, Pinkamena. I’m not upset because you’re not Pinkie, I’m upset because you hurt somepony.”

“That was the point,” Pinkamena repeated. “She hurt me too! So what? I’m not upset about it, she’s not upset about it, and I didn’t even really like it, so I’m probably not gonna do it again. Why can’t I just try it once?”

Before Fluttershy could respond, the bat pony from earlier walked up beside Pinkamena. “Hey, Pink Girl, good stuff out there. Who’s this?”

Pinkamena looked at her in shock, then gulped. “U-Um… This is Fluttershy, my… Girlfriend. Fluttershy, this is—”

“Midnight.” She stared pointedly at Fluttershy. “I’m the pony trying to steal this cutie away from you.”

“Wh—” Fluttershy looked between the two, speechless.

“That’s not true,” Pinkamena said. She looked into Fluttershy’s eyes. “That’s not true. This isn’t a date. I wouldn’t do that without asking you first.”

“Eh.” Midnight shrugged. “I don’t care what it’s called. I guess she’s right, though. I haven’t gotten a kiss. Yet.” 

Pinkamena frowned. “This isn’t a date! I’m not gonna kiss you!”

“You weren’t gonna hurt anypony, either,” Midnight said. “Or swipe that scarf. Or get rough in practice. You’re glad you tried all that stuff.”

Fluttershy’s eyes went wide. “Wait, wh—”

Pinkamena took a step away from both of them. “So? That doesn’t mean I’m gonna cheat. Why would you try to make me do that?”

“Dude, chill,” Midnight said, “I wasn’t being serious. I just wanted to get a rise out of your girlie.”

Pinkamena bit her lip and stared hard at Midnight. “I… I want you to leave.”

“Seriously?” Midnight raised an eyebrow. “Over a joke? You just knocked a pony out cold and you can’t take a joke?”

“Please.”

Midnight scoffed. “Whatever. Enjoy your boring life with your boring girlfriend.” Then she turned and, with a flick of her tail, walked towards a back exit.

Fluttershy and Pinkamena caught eyes again. Fluttershy, bleary-eyed, was still sitting in the same spot, rooted in place. “Pinkamena, I—”

Pinkamena didn’t listen. She walked straight past Fluttershy, headed towards the door she had come in through. As she passed, she grumbled “Thanks” under her breath.

“Pinkamena, wait!” Fluttershy scrambled to her hooves and chased Pinkamena out through the door, into the massive warehouse. “Pinkamena, please, talk to me.” Her voice echoed in the new room.

Pinkamena spun around. “What is there to talk about? You don’t know me! I thought that she might actually be able to get to know the real me, but clearly, I was wrong!”

“Pinkamena, I’m sorry,” Fluttershy said quietly. “I want to know the real you, I really do, and I’m sorry I keep treating you like Pinkie.”

“That’s just the thing, Fluttershy. I don’t think you can know the real me. At least, not until I figure out what the real me is.”

“And… And she was helping you do that? This helped you do that?”

“Yes!” Pinkamena wiped tears from her eyes. “How am I supposed to figure out who I am if I don’t do anything?”

“But why did it have to be so extreme?”

“This is just where I wound up.”

Fluttershy thought that over for a moment, then took a deep breath. “I’m sorry that I… Got in the way.”

Pinkamena frowned. “You didn’t—” She cut herself off, shook her head, sat on the ground and inhaled sharply. “I’m sorry I got upset. I know you just want me to be safe.”

Fluttershy walked over and sat next to Pinkamena. “We should talk about this more once we’re both home and cooled down.”

“I know.”

They sat in silence for a moment, feeling the warmth radiating from the other’s body. Fluttershy’s eyes wandered away from Pinkamena’s bruises and up to the hairpin, so carefully attached, then down to the scarf, which already seemed to be dear to her, and finally down to her legs, and the spirals that enwrapped them.

Fluttershy ran a hoof lightly across one of the stripes. “Are these…”

“There’s permanent.”

“Did it hurt?”

“...Yeah,” Pinkamena told her. “A lot.”

Fluttershy made a sad noise. “And… Was it worth it?”

“Yeah. Definitely.”









“You good to go from here, Pinks?” Vinyl Scratch gave Pinkamena a light, caring shove.

They were standing at the end of the path that led up to Fluttershy’s house, right where it turned and revealed the cottage. Pinkamena had her scarf bundled tight to ward off the morning chill. Octavia had already gone home to sleep, wanting to get some rest before the sunrise that now peeked over the horizon.

“Mm-hm,” Pinkamena said, somewhat muffled by the scarf. She gave Vinyl Scratch a tight hug. “Thanks for everything. Tonight was great.”

“Glad to hear it. Try and get some shut-eye before having that talk, yeah?”

“If they’re asleep, I will,” Pinkamena said. She gave one last squeeze, then started to make her way up the dusty path.

She paused at the door and adjusted herself. Fixed her scarf, tidied her mane, made sure she didn’t look disheveled. She didn’t want to look like the night had left her worse for wear. Then she raised her hoof, thought for a moment, and pushed the door open.

It creaked loudly. Pinkamena tried to step inside as quietly as possible, but it was a pointless maneuver. The kitchen light was on, and Fluttershy was already at the table with a cup of tea.

Fluttershy gave her a warm smile. “Welcome back, Pinkamena.”

All the nerves that were filling her just moments ago washed away as she looked at Fluttershy, so calm and inviting. Of course, she wasn’t angry. Of course, she gave no sign of it if she was still upset. It was Fluttershy. Fluttershy didn’t hold a grudge.

Neither did Pinkamena, she decided. She smiled back as kindly as she could.

Then the weight of the conversation to come crashed back down on her, and a pit grew in her stomach.

She cleared her throat. “Um, is Pinkie awake?”

Fluttershy shook her head. “She was asleep when I got home. She’s been sleeping a lot lately.”

“Mm.” Without saying any more, Pinkamena walked into the bedroom and over to the mass of blanket on the bed.

She poked it. “Pinkie. Wake up.”

“Mm?” The pile mumbled.

Pinkamena poked again, harder this time. “Get up. We gotta talk.”

Pinkie groaned. “Can’t it wait for morning?”

“It is morning. Get up.”

“Do you really need me?”

Pinkamena huffed and yanked the blankets away from Pinkie. “Up.”

Pinkie grumbled and started to stir. “Fine, fine.”

A few minutes later, when a finally-awake Pinkie walked out into the kitchen, the others were already ready for her. They’d pulled up a stool, which she took, and had even made her a cup of hot cocoa, which she sipped gratefully.

Pinkie looked hard at Pinkamena. “Did you do something with your mane?”

Pinkamena chuckled. “”Mm-hm. Do you like it?”

“It’s cute,” Pinkie said. “Would look awful on me, though.”

They shared a grin.

Fluttershy cleared her throat. “So… We have a lot to talk about, I think.”

“Is something up?” Pinkie asked.

“Mm. Pinkamena, where’d you get the scarf?”

Pinkamena frowned. “We can’t start easy?” Fluttershy gave her a stern look, and Pinkamena sighed. “I… Stole it.”

Pinkie’s gaze snapped towards Pinkamena. “Huh? Why’d you do that?”

“I wanted to know what it felt like,” Pinkamena said. “If I would like it.”

“Pinkamena, you can’t go around doing bad things just to try them out,” Fluttershy said. “I understand that you feel lost, but I know you know right from wrong.”

“I…” Pinkamena looked down at the table. “No, you’re right. I shouldn’t have stolen it. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you,” Fluttershy said. “Did you do anything else down there?”

“I played Roller Derby,” Pinkamena said, “and… Got in a fight.”

“It happens,” Pinkie told her. “Those matches get heated.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “No, I mean, like… An organized fight.”

“Woah.” Pinkie’s eyes got wide. “Did you win?”

Pinkamena laughed under her breath. “Yeah, I won.”

“Well, good! That means, if you never do it again, you’re undefeated!”

Pinkamena smiled. “Good point.”

“Pinkamena…” Fluttershy tapped a hoof on the table thoughtfully. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad for having fun last night. I just want to make sure you’re taking it seriously.”

“I am.” Pinkamena leaned forward onto the table. “Fluttershy, I’m trying to figure out who I am! I’m not gonna mess around with that!”

“Did it work?” Pinkie interjected.

Pinkamena glanced at her. “Did what work?”

“Did you figure anything out?”

“I…” Pinkamena thought for a moment. Looked back over the night, at all the things she had done and how they made her feel. Looked over the things that made her happy. Her eyes drifted down to her scarf and her legs, and the image of herself in the mirror came back. Not a sad Pinkie Pie, not some stranger. Her.

She smiled. “Yeah. I think I did.”

“Well, good!” Pinkie reached over and rustled Pinkamena’s mane. “As far as I’m concerned, it sounds like it was a good night.”

Fluttershy thought for a moment, then nodded. “Alright. Pinkamena, I’m sorry for doubting you. I’m glad the night helped.”

Pinkie drained the last of her drink and started to get up. “Well, I’m gonna—”

“Wait!” Pinkamena held a hoof out to stop her. Her heart started to race. “I-I have something else I wanted to talk about.”

Pinkie sat back down.

Fluttershy gave her a curious look. “Oh?”

Pinkamena looked down at the table and bit her lip. “Well, um… With that girl last night, even though it didn’t work out, I… It felt…” Pinkamena shook her head. “Ugh, I don’t know how to say this.”

Fluttershy reached out and put a hoof on Pinkamena’s. “It’s alright. Just say what you need to.”

“I…” Pinkamena swallowed hard, shut her eyes tight. Then it all spilled out at once.

“I think we should break up.”

Pinkie gasped. Fluttershy almost recoiled in shock, but kept her hoof where it was for Pinkamena’s sake.

Before they could ask why, Pinkamena went on. “Fluttershy, you don’t know me. And that’s okay, nopony really knows me, but with you it’s different. With you it feels like you’re supposed to know me, and you just… Don’t. And I don’t even think you can, not how I am now. You can’t figure it out with me cuz you’ll always just see Pinkie. Only ponies who don’t know Pinkie can do that. New ponies. New… Friends.” Pinkamena shuddered. “I’m sorry. I’ll always love you, and I’ll come back and we’ll be best friends once I figure things out, but—”

Fluttershy pulled her hoof away, and Pinkamena froze. Fluttershy got up, slowly walked around the table, and then wrapped Pinkamena in a tight, loving hug. Pinkamena fell into the hug, sank into Fluttershy’s grasp and felt herself start to cry.

“I understand,” Fluttershy whispered, “and I’m proud of you.” She gently kissed Pinkamena’s forehead. “I’ll always love you, too.”

They stayed like that a long time, not talking, just appreciating each others’ presence. Eventually Fluttershy got tired of standing, and they made their way into the living room and sat close together in a big, comfy armchair. Tears came and went from both of them, and from Pinkie on the couch as well, until finally the long, grueling day caught up to them and they fell asleep.

It was the last night they ever spent curled together as lovers, but years later, when they looked back on the moment, they would both agree that it had been one of the best. It wasn’t the end of a relationship; It was the start of a friendship, and it was a confused pony’s first step into her very own joy-filled life.
> Epilogue: Pinkie and Pinkamena
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pinkamena was sitting at the table in Fluttershy’s kitchen. Her hoof was tapping the table. Another hoof tapping the floor. An empty plate sat in front of her, cleaned of her breakfast, and across from her Pinkie Pie was still poking at her food. Pinkamena looked down at her legs and traced the pattern on one with a hoof, a habit she’d picked up during the last few days that she turned to whenever she was getting restless.

Pinkie took a small-ish bite out of a waffle and let the rest fall back onto her plate.

Pinkamena sighed. She slapped a hoof down on the table just hard enough to make the plates clink.

“Pinkie, knock it off.”

“Huh?” Pinkie jumped in her seat and looked up. “What?”

“Quit it!”

“Quit what?”

“Moping!” Pinkamena let out an exaggerated groan and leaned on the table seriously. “You’ve looked all sad for days now and I’m sick of it.”

Pinkie gave her a blank stare. “Do I look sad?”

“Ugh, yeah! You didn’t even go outside yesterday.”

“I had nowhere to go.”

“You’re Pinkie Pie, since when do you need a reason to do things? What are you even moping about, anyway?”

“I dunno,” Pinkie said. “I didn’t realize I was moping.”

Pinkamena rolled her eyes. “C’mon. Tell me.”

“I…” Pinkie frowned pitifully. “I’m gonna miss you. We only just met and now you’re going away.”

“I’m not dying. You’ll still see me.”

“Yeah, but…” Pinkie crossed her legs in front of her chest. “I don’t know. It just feels weird. I feel like I’m being a bad big sister.”

“We’re the same age.” Pinkamena shook her head. “Whatever. Look, Pinkie, you’re fine. You might not know me as well as you want, but you gotta know I love you, right?”

“Yeah, but I should know you better! I get that it’s hard for everypony else, but I should know you, right?”

Pinkamena thought for a moment. She pursed her lips and furrowed her brow. Then she stood up. “C’mon.”

Pinkie blinked. “Huh?”

“I said c’mon! We’re going out.”

Pinkie got up slowly. “Okay… Where are we—”

“Out! I don’t know.” Pinkamena walked towards the front door, grabbed her scarf from a hat rack and wrapped it around her neck. “Somewhere that isn’t you being cooped up inside all day.”

Pinkie plodded after her uneasily. “But why? What are we doing?”

“We’re having fun,” Pinkamena said. “Look, we haven’t scheduled a day for our sisters thing, right? Let’s do it today.”

“But I don’t have any plans,” Pinkie protested. “I haven’t thought up any traditions or games or—”

Pinkamena opened the door and shoved Pinkie outside. She shut the door heavily after herself. “Let’s figure it out.”

The morning air was crisp and cool. Dewdrops sprinkled the grass that led down the hill in front of Fluttershy’s house. When the door shut, a flock of birds took off from somewhere nearby and briefly blotted out the sun above them. It was cool enough outside to make Pinkamena glad for the scarf, but not so chilly that Pinkie was uncomfortable. The air was just cold enough to be a jolt to the system, and it woke them both up completely.

Unable to protest any further, Pinkie followed Pinkamena into town. They had no destination, and they were in no hurry, so they wound up just wandering the streets. Some ponies who passed them by gave them strange, confused glances, and some even stopped to ask why there were two Pinkies, but by this point, much of the town had been informed of the new addition to the Pie family. Pinkamena greeted all these friendly faces with a smile, a genuine one, and basked in the smiles she got back. Smiles that, finally, felt like they were meant for her, and not Pinkie.

“I wish you didn’t have to go tomorrow,” Pinkie said at one point.

“I know,” Pinkamena replied. “I need this, though. It’ll be good for me.”

“But the Crystal Empire is so far away!”

“That’s the whole point! Not a lot of ponies there know you super well.”

Pinkie frowned. “Are you gonna be okay all on your own?”

“We were fine moving out as a filly,” Pinkamena told her. “Quit worrying.”

“I know, I just—”

Pinkamena drifted to the side and bumped into Pinkie. “Quit it!”

“Okay, okay. Just… Promise you’ll come to me if you need anything, okay?”

“Of course,” Pinkamena said. “Pinkie promise.”

“Pinkamena promise?”

“That too.”