Rarity's Colt: A New Life

by Mocha Star

First published 28th of February, 2020

After so much has happened, can a normal life finally be in the cards for Snickers?

Snickers is in the best place he's ever been: He has friends, unrequited love, and an undefined future; he may even finally have a good chance to live a new life in a new place, as long as he can keep himself out of trouble long enough to earn his mark and balance his old life as a human with his new life as a pony.

---

Things will happen that will earn the Random tag.

Swearing and sexual situations and topics are gonna happen throughout. This is basically young teens learning their place in life.

Special thanks to Ninjadeadbeard for editing, starting at chapter 17, Cover me Timbers.

A Close Friendship

Without any preamble, Diamond Tiara opened the door to Snickers’ room and walked in. “Okay, boys; there’s a bunch of…” she trailed off seeing two colts with erections looking at her blushing lightly. Diamond Tiara grinned as wide as Pinkie and hopped into a gallop behind Snickers and leapt on his back, hugging him as he fell forward from the sudden extra weight on his forelegs with a shout that became muffled and died off within a second.

“I have a gay friend! A gay colt friend that isn’t a coltfriend and won't bother me to become one! I can’t believe how great this is!”

Kiwe, the other colt in the room, lit his horn and pushed Diamond Tiara off Snickers, who quickly stood up; gagging and coughing. “Di-” he retched and covered his mouth before shoving past her and running from the room with his lips tightly closed.

Diamond giggled and looked back to Kiwe who was wide eyed and staring at her, almost through her. Diamond’s eyes looked at the new shine on the unicorn zony’s penis and gasped, covered her mouth, and whispered, “Oh, I’m so sorry for interrupting. I’ll give you a minute and get Snickers back in here to finish.”

“W-wait!” Kiwe shouted and stood while using his magic to grab a random book to hold between his forelegs while facing the pink filly. “Miss Tiara, I’m not… we’re not together, or a couple. Honest, what was happening was--”

Diamond gently placed a forehoof on Kiwe’s cheek and spoke caringly. “Hush, it’s okay. I’m the same, I like fillies and mares; it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You two take your time and when you’re done just meet me downstairs, I’ll cover for you both. I’m good at keeping ponies distracted when the time calls for it.”

Kiwe leaned slightly into her touch and watched as she pranced away and out of the room with a blank mind. Then a single word escaped his lips. “Horseapples.”

…

Snickers laid facing the toilet and breathing the eternally awkwardly relaxing scent of a clean toilet, the sensation of being shoved forward at the most inopportune moment and feeling an unwelcome passenger enter his mouth and slide down his throat until his lips touched soft warm sheath sent an unwanted sensation through him.

Unable to vomit, Snickers spat into the basin. “So gross, salty, warm, soft…” he shook his head and let certain sensations stay in his mind for a moment. “I’m not gay,” he whispered to himself and swallowed loudly as the saltiness and musk flooded his senses, “but I might be bi. Shit,” he groaned and rested his snout on the floor.

His tongue moved in his mouth and the saltiness gave him an urge to drink some water. "Ponies and salt with wine, I might need to get fucking shitfaced at dinner tonight."

A hoof knocked on the bathroom door. “Snickers, it’s Diamond, are you okay?”

With a dark scowl, Snickers sneered at the door. “Fuck off!”

“Wow, sorry! I’m gonna be downstairs, but I can only keep the crowd distracted for a few minutes, so hurry with your,” she stopped to giggle, “‘close friend’ and clean up before Rarity comes to get you.”

“I said fuck off, you dime store whore!”

Diamond tittered. “Okay, you do what colts do in bathrooms alone, I’m here for you both, you can guarantee it. See you later, and I’d love to have tea with you both soon; we can talk about gay stuff together.”

Snickers sat up and grinded his teeth. He stomped to the door and bit the handle with fury, pulling it open to face the filly and shout her into a puddle of tears. Instead, the hall was empty save for a brown unicorn with dark grey stripes looking at him from his own room’s doorway with worried golden eyes. “Snickers, we must talk with Diamond about what happened.”

Snickers rushed from the bathroom and into his own room, closing the door, but not all the way behind him. “I’m so sorry, I can’t believe I just deepthroated you. I’m not gay, honest!”

Kiwe shook his head sending his black and white striped mane swishing. “I am not concerned with sexual preferences. I prefer mares, however my closest friend admitted his love to me and shared my first kiss with him. That is something he cherishes and I applaud him for it, what happened between us was chance.”

“Horrible, horrible chance! If she didn’t jump and hug me like she did…” Snicker felt himself choking a little.

Kiwe moved closed and rested a forehoof on Snickers’s chest. “Your heart does not beat for me, does it?” Snickers shook his head vehemently. “Then that is what is important. Be true to yourself, regardless of who you love or wish to be with, however, I do not believe I shall be one of your conquests.”

Snickers slapped Kiwe’s foreleg away. “Fuck conquests! I don’t want a wall of trophies for the mares I bang, I wanna be with a special mare, maybe for the rest of my life. I’ll be damned if I’m gonna have a dozen foals running around like back home, alright?”

Kiwe raised an eyebrow at the same time a filly sighed breathily from outside the room. Both colts looked at the door and Silver Spoon opened the door to step in. “Snickers, I so can’t wait to be your alpha mare. I’ll, like, let you be my first and carry your foals next season if you’ll let me be that mare.”

Snickers facehoofed and Kiwe sighed with a shake of his head. “This is a day of confusion, accidents, and surprises to be sure. We must speak with Diamond Tiara about what happened and correct her misunderstandings about us, Snickers.”

Silver Spoon giggled. “Oh, yeah. She told me to come up here and see what you two were doing. I didn’t think it would be so romantic; talking about being with a mare forever is so sweet,” Silver said and practically swooned.

“Silver,” Snickers started, “I’m not going to make any promises about anything or anypony yet. I’m too young and you shouldn’t be thinking of that kinda stuff either, seriously.”

Silver Spoon sniffed and lifted her chin, turning slightly. “You see this?” She pointed to her mark, “I’m legally a mare, next spring is my first real estrus. If you keep playing your cards right, you’ll be the one to share that special moment with me and we’ll be a couple and then we can choose who to let into our herd. So you have until then to think it all over,” she turned around and flagged her tail, “you stud, you.”

With a final swish of her tail, Silver Spoon left Snickers and Kiwe alone in the room. Snickers looked aside to Kiwe noticing the expression on the colt’s face. A spark of frustration blossomed in Snickers’s chest and he gave Kiwe a firm nudge. “Hey, stop staring at my… friend. Let’s go downstairs and get this whatever cleared up and then fix this gay rumor stuff before it gets out of hand.”

Kiwe raised his eyebrows. “You mean out of hoof, yes?”

“Whatever! Follow me and for the sake of everything, don’t do anything that would lead anypony else to think about what happened a couple minutes ago.” Snickers ordered. “<Can’t believe this fucking shit. When shit goes wrong, it fucking fucks me in the fucking ass, or this time down my fucking throat.

“<I swear it’s because I’m a pony that the saltiness is so… god, I’m not gay, but I liked it. Fucking pony biology and whatever the fuck else is fucking going on with my fucking body and child brain. Can’t just be an adult, can’t be a kid. Gotta be a grown up in a kid’s body and learn to be something I never thought I could be, and after everything goes fucking wrong; I get jumped on and swallow my new friend’s cock. Why do I keep fucking my friends?!>”

Snickers, grumbling in his old language, shouted the last few words and silenced the several mares that had arrived, leaving a very surprised and shocked Lyra Heartstrings with her mouth open as she stared at the colts at the base of the stairs. Her eyes moved between the two and she shook her head slowly.

“<Snickers, y-you don’t speak >Ponish< as your first language?>” Lyra asked to everypony’s surprise.

Kiwe stepped aside and left the two to look at one another in the silence of the room. “Um, am I the only one who is concerned about their speaking?” Kiwe asked.

Rarity shook her head. “Oh, no worries at all. Snickers speaks a second language and Lyra, thanks to a magical mishap she often regales to us, speaks almost all languages.”

Lyra moved to Snickers and motioned him to step into the kitchen.

“Hey, wait! Snickers is supposed to help tell us about the machines,” Scootaloo shouted to the departing pair.

“Keep them busy, I’ll be only a minute, Scoots,” Snickers shouted back. “Okay, what’s the deal?”

Lyra shushed him and glanced at the other room. “<In your language. What do you mean when you said you had sex with your friend? Which one? Was it Scootaloo? She’s had enough troubles in her life, the poor dear.>”

“<No, it wasn’t her. In fact, I helped her overcome that crap and now she’s a normal filly, for all we can all see.>”

Lyra exhaled a sigh of relief. “<Thank >Celestia< for that. Are you gay? Because it’s fine if you are, I am too. I won’t judge you or think any less of you because you’re a stallion that prefers other stallions.>”

Snickers facehoofed. “I’m not gay, Lyra. I wanna be with a mare for the rest of my life… why am I telling you this? I don’t have to tell you anything. I’m going back to my herd… of friends.”

Lyra raised a forehoof to halt him, but let him go nodding in approval. “As long as you’re honest with yourself and true to your heart, you’ll do fine.”

Snickers rolled his eyes. “<Yeah, emo bullshit,>” he said under his breath. “Okay, so I guess the deal is with my almost dying over the town? Thanks, by the way, to the pegasi of Ponyville for rushing to save a screaming colt from falling with style to his untimely death,” Snickers said sarcastically.

Author's Notes:

And we're off. No, sex won't be the main go-to in this story, it just happens to have happened that way and it'll come up a few more times through the rest of the afternoon.

I'll only mention this once every several chapters, but comments are appreciated greatly. It helps me be a better and more timely writer and helps me understand what you, my readers, might want.

Introducing Kiwe

Pony Launcher

Only one mare was a pegasus and she looked at the nearest window to distract herself while Rarity spoke up, “Well, be that as it is, my little prince, I have to wonder whether you made the right choice in your cutie mark attempt earlier. I believe these kind mares are worried about your death defying act and would like to know how to prevent such an event from occuring again, if I’m correct in presuming.”

Lyra reentered the room. “Nope, we’re wondering how to do it again! That looked fun and with Summer starting in two weeks and the temperature already rising, it would make for a fun toy to have at the lake or during winter for snowball wars.”

Rarity balked. “Y-you wish to encourage their dangerous endeavours?”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle laughed. “No, sis. We already tried this one, we’re not gonna try it again. And since the catapult still works, I don’t see why we can’t just give it to the ponies and let them have fun with it.”

Rarity’s jaw went slack. “B-but, the danger and…”

“Yeah, mom, I don’t see a problem with it, so I think we should go for it! Who can help us move it by the lake? I mean, it weighs about a thousand pounds, so take that into consideration.”

Rarity composed herself by standing tall, flipping her mane, and looking as regal as she could. “Yes, well, far be it from me to stop the enjoyment of others. As a Lady, I must encourage my foal to enjoy life and he shall do just that. However, I will be coming along to supervise this endeavor.” The crowd nodded and quickly the young ran from the boutique. “Snickers! Put on your shoes, young stallion!”

Snickers slowed from a gallop to a trot and turned back past the mares and a stallion that was waiting outside the door that nopony noticed to Rarity and stood still as she set the shoes on the ground one at a time and helped him slip them on with a click. “That’s so cool because how simple it is,” Snickers said after his second horseshoe was on. “Can I go now?”

“Yes, but walk with me to show me the way, I shan’t gallop around town like a ruffian; as a Lady, I must show class and dignity when in public situations.”

Snickers nickered. “Sure, whatever. Let’s hurry, I wanna show them how to launch stuff.”

Rarity left the boutique and stopped. “W-wait, what of our new guest?” She asked regretfully, thinking of how foolish it was of her to forget he wasn’t coming along because he had to stay hidden. “Idea~!” She ran back in and Snickers saw Kiwe watching Rarity as she did something, then he was wrapped in a blue aura and pulled from view.

Several seconds passed and Snickers began to walk to the doorway, stopping when Kiwe appeared at the door smiling. “You mother gave me a cloak of white that is nearly skin tight.”

Rarity stopped beside Kiwe and beamed a smile proudly. “Now he looks like my sister and I, and thanks to a little applique of coverup, his muzzle is white too. Now he can come with us and as long as he doesn’t show his legs or tail, he’ll look like any other pony from a distance. And you can see,” Rarity said tapping Kiwe’s rump, “that I’ve used a wig to simulate his mane and tail.

“Now, as long as he’s dressed up, he can go out as he wishes. My only advice is that you, Kiwe, don’t work yourself too hard until I can make you something more breathable; you risk overheating if you’re reckless in your play.” Rarity closed the door behind her and locked it. “Now, lead the way, my little prince, and we’ll see what the hubbub is about.”

“Miss Rarity, I must ask; are you truly a Lady? And if so, why do you live so simply?”

Rarity giggled and Snickers rolled his eyes. “Oh, it’s quite the tale, to be honest. You see, I bear the element of Generosity out of the Elements of Harmony. After my friends and I defeated Nightmare Moon, more or less, we were all made guardian knights in Princess Celestia’s court.

“Now, technically, Applejack and her family are Lords and Ladies after having settled the very city we walk in. Twilight Sparkle belongs to a noble family and carried a lesser noble title of Esquire. Now, however, all six of us hold the title of Knights, which makes us all nobility. And as such, I can call myself a Lady.” Rarity noticed she’d begun to prance and slowed to a casual trot to keep up with the quick pace of Snickers and to not leave Kiwe behind.

Snickers slowed and the others passed him, coming to a stop after he did. “Snickers,” Kiwe asked, “what’s wrong? You look upset, it seems.”

Snickers stared at Rarity and slowly a smile formed on his face. “So… I’m technically a Lord under you?”

Rarity hemmed and hawed it over for a few seconds. “Well, if you wish to look at it in a very loose way, then yes; but--”

Snickers whooped and hopped into the air and landed shuffling his hooves and bobbing his head to a beat only he could hear. “Aw yeah, oh yeah, yup, that’s right.”

Rarity snickered. “Are you… dancing?” She asked and raised a foreleg to cover her growing, wavering, smile.

Snickers laughed and trotted around Rarity and Kiwe. “Who cares? I’m even more awesome now than ever before. This is gonna open so many more doors and options for me to get my mark, do the girls know about this? How couldn’t you tell me sooner?! I’ve been living with you for almost a month and now I find out?” He asked, stopping in front of Rarity.

“Well, for one it doesn’t come up very often. Second, you didn’t do much listening to me for the first two weeks. Third, you didn’t believe me when I did talk to you about my adventures.”

Snickers raised his snout and walked ahead, taking the lead again. “Regardless, dearest mother, you should have told me sooner. A colt of my refinement should carry himself with higher standards. After all, I was just groomed and shouldn’t have my coat mussed or sullied. And my mane, dearest mother, what shall I do with it now that I have such standards to uphold?”

Rarity whimpered and rushed to side with him. “Now, my little prince, you do know you needn’t change overnight to fit a role that you may not actually have. Why don’t you worry about galloping ahead to show Kiwe and I the way, it would be much nicer for you, I’m sure.”

“Nay, mother. The dust will surely sully my fur and thusly my name, no longer shall I play like some uncouth ruffian peasant.”

Rarity quietly gasped. “No, you can’t be like him. I won’t allow it! Snickers, you act like yourself this instant,” she said stomping her hooves as she walked beside him.

Snickers looked aside at her and then broke into laughter. “Fooled you! Ha, I was listening when you told me the story of that Prince Blueballs from the party, or whatever.”

Rarity looked around quickly. “You should not have heard me call him that, I only meant for Fluttershy to hear me call him that. His name is Blueblood, Prince Blueblood, understand?”

Snickers nodded. “Yeah, but I reserve the right to call him Blueballs when in private. Besides, what’re the odds you’ll ever meet him again?”

Rarity sighed. “That was not a very funny prank, young stallion… and the odds are sadly too good in his favor. I do attend certain events that higher nobles attend as well, and it’s only a matter of time before I’ll be networking at a party and cross paths with him. My only problem will be maintaining decorum in his presence.”

“Don’t worry, ma, you’ll handle it like a boss. Own the scene and you’ll win every time, the old saying goes.”

Rarity looked at Snickers again. “And who says that, I wonder?”

Snickers looked around. “Well, somepony does, I’m sure. We’re almost there, let’s just focus on that right now.”

“My friend Snickers, what is it we’re going to be looking at, exactly?” Kiwe asked.

“Well…” Snickers looked up and pointed. “That!”

The others looked up and so did several nearby ponies they were passing. An earth pony was flying in the air and kicking her legs in a mild panic, then was grabbed by two pegasi and brought back down, out of sight because of the houses in town.

“What in Celestia’s name was that?” A yellow mare asked loudly and set her watering can down so she could canter towards the scene. Others followed and before long nearly the whole town was gathered around the catapult.

Snickers pushed his way to the other fillies in his group and climbed onto the catapult. “This, friends, is the Pony Launcher! Donations by the bit are welcome, once you climb on you can feel what it’s like to fly for several seconds with no worries because this beauty is going by the lake. It’ll be fun for all ages and the games you create will be exhilarating!

“All I need are some volunteers to help move it to the lake and you, too, can have a pegasi experience thanks to the Cutiemark Crusaders,” Snickers shouted to a cheering crowd. He hopped down and checked his flank. “Aww, I thought that would work,” he said glumly.

“It’s cool,” Scootaloo said giving him a hug, “at least you tried. Anyway, it looks like ponies are really lining up to help move it,” she said pointing out a group of earth ponies and unicorn talking about how to add wheels to it while pegasi talked about how much rope it would take.

“Okay, ponies, let’s just pick it up from the bottom and move it,” somepony shouted.

A half dozen unicorns strained to lift the catapult and a dozen mares and two stallion earth ponies moved under it to carry the weight. Pegasi grabbed parts that were sturdy to lessen the weight between the other two tribes and as a group they all moved the once siege weapon a mile to the lake’s edge before carefully lowering it, partly into the sand and the rest on firm soil.

There was cheering and stomping at their victory, then nearly every pony ran into the lake to cool their aching muscles and their bodies after the strain they were under. Snickers checked the mechanisms over while the adults cooled off and deemed it ready for use on hot summer days, at the least.

Once two ponies left the lake the rest followed, which Snickers noted as a herd mentality thing. “Okay, first I need mechanics, repair ponies, and anypony that can build to talk with me while my Silver Spoon, here, talks about safety,” Snickers announced and turned to smile at the grey filly and noticed her blushing with a wide grin. “Uh, you’re okay to talk about no climbing on or jumping off and taking turns, right?”

Silver Spoon giggled and walked to Snickers, placed a forehoof on both of his cheeks, then brought her lips to his. Her tongue tickled his closed lips and there were catcalls and a positive reception to Snickers’s public kiss. Silver Spoon leaned back breathing heavily and then set all her hooves on the ground. “You are so going to be my alpha stallion with the way you talk about me.”

She walked past him and flicked her tail across his muzzle getting a loud cheer from the crowd when he stumbled to the side. Scootaloo rushed to Snickers. “Dude, you’re losing it over Silver Spoon, I thought you said you weren’t ready for a herd.”

Snickers shook his head. “I… I’m not, I used the wrong words, I think, maybe. Her scent is still in my nose,” he said shaking his head.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “I know the feeling,” she said, moving to his side to support him. “Remember that night we almost had sex?”

“How could I forget?” Snickers answered.

“Well, there was something that came out of your penis and was on my foreleg… it’s embarrassing to admit it to you, but I rubbed my nose on it and smelled you for the next two days. There’s no getting some smells away, is what I’m saying, Snickers. All you can do is do your best to ignore it and try not to get a hard on in public because you’re really sensitive about that.”

Snickers gave Scootaloo a little kiss on her cheek. “You’re so awesome, Scootaloo. I’m so lucky to know you, and to have you teach me things like this. You’re just, so cool.”

Scootaloo giggled and stepped away. “Uh, thanks, I guess. Where’d that come from just now?”

Snickers snickered and shrugged. “I’unno. I just really think you’re a great mare to know, is all.”

Scootaloo turned away and walked to Sweetie Belle, leaving Snickers standing alone for a minute. “Hey, kid; ya called us fer what?” A gruff stallion’s voice asked.

“Oh, uh… yeah! That’s right, sorry about that. The Pony Launcher’s mechanics have to be checked every morning before it’s used. I’ll show you the key points and how the machine operates, then we can send ponies flying. I’d do it, but I have school most days.”

“I can do that, it’s my job ta fix stuff, right? Name’s Welder.”

“Hey, I’m Snickers and the designer of the Pony Launcher. Let’s get to work.” Snickers led the group through the operation and what to check as well as offering them a copy of the blueprints, as long as he maintained ownership rights.

Rainbow Dash landed right beside Snickers, startling him to fall against a repair mare named Power Line. “Damnit, Rainbow, why’d you do that?”

Rainbow hovered and looked at Snickers. “Hey, I saw a huge crowd and wondered what was up. So, here I am… any why’s this thing here now?” Rainbow flew around the Pony Launcher. “Are you gonna send ponies flying into the lake with this thing? Can I go first?!” Rainbow asked eagerly and tried to push the launching arm down.

“No, Rainbow Dash,” Snickers shouted, “you have to go through the line, and you’re at the end. Sorry, no favoritism.”

Rainbow grunted as she shoved the arm again. “Fine, but if this is like cider season, I’m not gonna be held accountable for my actions.”

“Uh, yes, you will be, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight’s voice called out from the line.

“Twilight? You’re here, too? And ahead of me?” Rainbow asked flying to the unicorn.

“Okay,” Sweetie Belle announced, “let’s wind this baby up and send our first pony flying!”

The Pony Launcher was prepped, a stallion named Cable Ties dropped a bit into a bucket that was found before he climbed up and was shown how to sit and where to hold. “Launching in three, two, one!” The release lever was pulled and with a series of clunks the Pony Launcher did its task perfectly.

The stallion screamed at the uncertain events happening to him, then landed in the water with a mighty splash that sent water high into the air. Four pegasi broke from the waiting line to check on him and when he broke the surface he could be heard laughing. The conversations broke out and bets began to make their way around the groups of friends nearby one another.

Rainbow Dash elected to stay over the water first in a cycle of pegasi that would watch for anypony that may be hurt and the next pony was launched. The mare, a unicorn, leveled and aimed herself with the arc and serenely splashed into the water in a dive that got cheering and hollering praise.

She surfaced and swam to the side so the next pony could go. “Miss Cheerilee? I didn’t think you had fun,” Scootaloo asked for the group of classmates around her.

“Oh, don’t worry children, because of your fine work here I’m sure I’ll have an ess-aaayyee!”

Diamond Tiara gasped in faux shock. “Oh, no. I accidentally leaned on the release lever while she was talking… my bad.”

Best Laid Plans

“Wow, she’s spinning like a pinwheel,” Kiwe noted. “I hope she still feels well after this. Is she somepony of importance, locally?”

Snickers stood beside Kiwe as both colts watched ponies off all ages lined up and going for a fly. “She’s actually the school teacher. She’s pretty good, for the locals anyway. I’ve only been in her class for a couple weeks and I spend more time focusing on pony history and society than basic maths and physics.”

Diamond Tiara tapped Kiwe on the rump and dodged his view to do the same to Snickers. “Ha, I bet you didn’t know it was me. So,” she said walking between the colts, “I know we’re great friends now and all, but I’d like to apologize again for interrupting earlier. It was an accident and Celestia know’s I’ve almost been caught a few times, so I know what it feels like. At least I won’t judge you.

“Oh, yeah! Us, you two and me, tea at my house tomorrow after school? What do you say?” Diamond grinned between both colts and waited for an answer.

Snickers looked at Kiwe who stared back, waiting for the colt that knew Diamond to take a stance or the lead.

“Uhh, Diamond… me and Kiwe,” Snickers said and saw the sparkle of hope and happiness he’d never seen in Diamond’s eyes before shine, “would like to have tea with you and talk about stuff, okay?”

“Great!” Diamond hopped into the air and wrapped her forelegs over each colt’s withers. “I can’t believe how awesome this day’s going! Ach,” she squealed, “I have to tell Silver about this!”

“No!” Snickers said before Diamond could let him go. “She’s in love with me, didn’t you see the kiss she gave me?”

“No, I was getting a donation bucket from the bushes over there. It’s old, but it should work fine. Oh, you poor colt; you don’t have the heart to break it to her, do you? I can, if you want.”

Snickers shook his head. “No, that’s not it. I have to handle my own relationship problems, and right now, in front of everyone, isn’t the place. We’ll talk about it tomorrow at your tea party, okay?”

Diamond nodded. “Got it. If you don’t mind, I’m gonna pull rank and take a turn on the Pony Launcher, hold my tiara.”

Snickers caught the tiara on his head as Diamond ran to the launcher. He looked at Kiwe and noticed the unhappy look he was getting. “Hey, I’m not breaking her heart in front of the whole town, okay?”

Kiwe snorted. “Fine, but you are not to lie to her about us. She is happy, but a lie is a lie and you cannot build a friendship on lies. You have started my relationship with Diamond with a lie that I will see mended, even if she does not care for my attention or presence again in the future.”

“That’s fair and I totally agree, I’m sorry for doing that and everything else that led up to this, I seriously haven’t ever seen another pony’s cock before and it was just so different that what I’m used to seeing, even if it’s my own, seeing another was just different. Then Diamond jumped on my and…” he blushed brightly and looked away.

“No harm was done, no pain was felt; I thank you for understand and your offered help.”

“I liked it, though, kinda,” Snickers said softly, his words covered by the scream of a launched pony and the cheering of the crowd.

Kiwe’s ears turned to focus on Snickers. “I apologize, what did you say?”

Snickers turned to face Kiwe. “I said, I kind of liked it. I mean… <shit, just say it. Say what?>” Snickers said to himself. “<Tell him you’ve thought of it since it happened and it’s less bad every time you think about it.>” Snickers looked at Kiwe and swallowed loudly, thinking aloud to himself. “<Just tell him you still taste him. The saltiness, musk, and texture.

“<But, Silver Spoon’s scent is so fucking fine. She wants me in ways I’ve only wanted Scootaloo, and she’s so damn cute. And Scootaloo’s got flanks for days, I can watch her do nothing and everything for hours.> Damn it,” Snickers said quietly and then looked back at a concerned by patient colt waiting opposite him.

“Kiwe, I appreciate your friendship and what happened earlier… I didn’t really dislike,” Snickers admitted and rubbed his foreleg with the other while looking at Kiwe’s forehooves. “If I had to, I might do it again, even. But,” he said looking up to meet Kiwe’s golden eyes, “I really wanna be with a mare more than anything, so… I don’t know.”

Kiwe inhaled deeply, held it, and exhaled slowly. “I understand; you are not craving colts for carnal pleasures. You have not seen an erect penis besides your own. You are surrounded by fillies and mares. You are certainly not truly gay, and that’s fine; what you are--”

"I'm bisexual, right? I thought so, but I was kinda hoping I wasn’t because there’s this filly with flanks I can watch for hours and--”

Kiwe held his hoof against Snickers’s lips. “You need a friend that is a colt, a colt to bond with as a friend. I will be that friend for you, and it helps that we look to be nearly cousins.”

Snickers looked at his forelegs and then remembered the color of Kiwe’s coat with a smile. “Kiwe, can you be my brother?” Snickers asked. When Kiwe nodded, he was knocked over by the tackle hug he got. “Yes, this is gonna be so much more fun than hanging out with fillies all the time.”

Kiwe nudged Snickers a couple times to have him step off his body. Snickers got up and backed away. “Sorry about that! Just, got excited.”

Kiwe got up and looked himself over, his muzzle was, in spots, it’s original color and he noticed Diamond Tiara grinning happily at them, but he ignored it for the moment. “Yes, I understand and am not upset. What happened happened, what will happen is what matters… and I’m very pleased you didn’t bite down when you fell on me, that would have been most unpleasant.”

Kiwe chuckled and Snickers blushed again.

“Woo-hoo, go get ‘em, tiger!” Diamond shouted as she climbed onto the launcher. The launcher sent Diamond flying as soon as she said her piece.

“Darn it, I’m not gay! Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I’m not!” Snickers groaned to the sky and walked away from the scene into the thicket. “What the buck’s wrong with me? Why can’t I just be normal?”

“Can you define normal?” Sweetie Belle, from a prone position, asked and Snickers yelped in surprise. “Seriously, you keep worrying about fitting in, why don’t you just not worry about it and be yourself? Uh, the good you that doesn’t swear or be mean; that you.”

Snickers leaned against a sapling. “Because, I don’t know what I’m supposed to even do here. I mean, so much as happened and I can’t even wrap my head around a lot of it. How can I be me, when I don’t even know who I am? Wait, why’re you hiding in the bushes?” He asked looking at Sweetie Belle and then following her line of sight. “Sweetie, seriously?”

Sweetie crawled back and hid her face in the leaves. “I can’t help it, he has a nice… everything and gives me butterflies in my tummy. You know what it’s like, we’ve seen how you talk to Silver Spoon. It’s like that, only this is mine.”

Snickers groaned quietly. “I am not into stallions, I’m not into her. Silver Spoon’s slim, she has a great body and coat, her mane is cute and her glasses, I’ll admit, kinda make her kinda sexy. If we were adults I’d take her and make her pass out from what I’d do to her… but I’m not and she’s not and those aren’t the…”

Snickers looked at Sweetie and noticed her hushing him. He turned around and saw, to his chagrin, Silver Spoon behind him. “Oh, my prince… I was worried you were sick, or whatever, but you actually had to come practice your confession in privacy, and I, like, totally messed it up.”

Snickers opened his mouth to speak, stopped by a well polished hoof with a barely noticeable shoe on it pressed to his lips. “Don’t worry, my knight, I’ll save you from whatever troubles you. It may be until next spring, but by then I’ll properly propose and we can share my first time; just the way you said you would.”

Silver leaned in and licked his cheek, then brought her muzzle to his and exhaled heavily through her nose, followed by him instinctually inhaling deeply and repeating the action. Silver Spoon backed up and giggled. “I have to go somewhere private and take care of something, and it looks like you might have the same problem,” she teased and turned away with a sway of her tail that showed him everything.

He settled down onto his belly and covered his head with his forelegs. “Why can’t I have a single day without everything going weird or wrong?”

Sweetie Belle poked his hind leg. “Do you want me to go so you can take care of your... issue?”

“No, I’m not going to do that here. I can wait until I get back home… and Silver’s thingie did the same thing yours did, what’s up with that?”

Sweetie squeaked quietly. “It’s… um, something very personal for a filly and colts shouldn’t know about it.”

Snickers turned around and looked at the bush Sweetie was in. “Come out here and tell me, dammit. I saw you masturbating and I’ll never get that image out of my head, you can tell my about a filly’s… whatever you wanna call it.”

Sweetie scooted forward and showed her pink hued face and ears. “You really can’t stop thinking about me doing that?”

Snickers scooped some dead leaves and tossed them at his face as a distraction. “Please, just tell me,” he pleaded.

“W-well, when a mare likes a stallion a lot… or is really in the mood and receptive, she’ll, well…”

“Sweetie Belle…” Snickers whined.

“It’s called ‘winking’ and it’s super embarrassing, okay?” Sweetie whispered harshly.

“So, when I was drying you and you--”

“You rubbed one of my spots, okay? It wasn’t your fault because you weren’t trying to, but it happened.”

Snickers pondered the meaning of what he’d just seen and learned. “So, Silver is gonna masturbate because of me?” Sweetie nodded. “And this ‘winking’ thing is private because, why?”

“Well, you know…”

“No, Sweetie Belle, I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking,” Snickers replied exasperatedly.

Sweetie glanced past Snickers at the colt she had eyes for, watching as he watched ponies fly away. “Okay, you know how stallions have their sheaths that keeps their privates away? Well, mares have this thing call a cl… clip, uh, clipinis! And even though we don’t wear anything, it’s always inside, so showing it is really personal, okay?”

Snickers resolved to ask Rarity about it later, instead accepting Sweetie’s poor answer. “Okay, now that I know, and I’m not showing anymore, I’m gonna go back out there and drown myself in the lake.”

“No! Snickers, don’t do it!” Sweetie hugged his foreleg. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the clipinis before, don’t hurt yourself because of me.”

Snickers leaned down and gave Sweetie a hug. “I won’t, I was just talkin’ sh- smack. I need to cool off and splash in the lake for a minute, I’ll see you later and I really don’t want to have to explain sticky hooves to Rarity later, so don’t do what you can do in here, okay?”

Sweetie let his legs go and held her hooves up to him. “I promise I won’t touch myself until I get home, okay?”

Snickers nodded and left the greenery. “<Honestly, what the fuck is going on today? It was supposed to be a cutiemark attempt, now I’m talking with my aunt, who is slightly younger than me, about masturbation in the bushes after being told I was another fillies fantasy in a few minutes.>”

Just Stuff Happening

Snickers sighed contentedly and wiggled a little deeper into the sand under his belly. A thunk sound twitched his ears, but he didn’t move to look away from the ponies playing in the lake. He hummed a quiet song to himself as time passed and the sun warmed his body and the moment warmed his soul.

“Hey,” Diamond Tiara said settling next to him, disrupting his moment, “I was thinking about stuff, and, well,” she caught his eye and he looked at her reluctantly. Snickers felt his smile falter. “I think I got too excited and… you’re not gay, are you?”

Snickers felt himself grow confused about how to feel and respond. “Well, no… but I was gonna tell you tomorrow, honest.”

Diamond exhaled quietly with a nod. “I thought it was too good to be true. Is Kiwe gay?” Snickers shook his head. “Oh… I guess I’ll just go away then.”

Snickers moved and put a hoof on her foreleg. “Don’t go, please.”

Diamond Tiara pulled her foreleg away from his touch. “Why? You’re no good to me anymore,” she stated factually and lifted her snout.

Snickers was not buying it. “I wanna be a good friend, and I won’t do anything sexual with you that you’re not comfortable with, and I promise I’ll never try to coerce you into having sex with me. We can hang out, talk about cute fillies and colts, we can braid each other’s manes and tails and take baths together and play and talk about whatever bothered us that day.

“I don’t want to lose you as a friend just when you finally opened up to me and let me into your heart and life. You need me, too; I can tell from how you acted when you walked in on me and Kiwe… before you jumped on my back and made me swallow his cock,” he smirked at her blush.

“I didn’t notice, honest. I thought you two were about to have your fun and I was interrupting and you were so embarrassed you ran away.”

“Ha, no… but,” he looked around and leaned closer to Diamond to speak softly, “can I tell you a secret?”

“Um… okay? Sure, why not.”

Snickers twitched his right ear. “I liked it, feeling his hard cock in my mouth.” Diamond inhaled and smiled widely. “The saltiness, the softness covering the hardness, the way it twitched in my throat… sweet Celestia, I’d do it again if he didn’t tell me not to.”

Diamond looked around and giggled. “Really? So, you’re not gay, you say?” She asked with a sly knowing smirk.

“No, but I might be bisexual. At the least, maybe I’ll just like giving stallions blowjobs when I’m an adult for a few extra bits,” he snickered.

Diamond Tiara rested her forehoof on his foreleg. “Okay, maybe we can be friends; as long as you don’t turn into a horny colt or stallion and try to get under my tail, that is.”

Snickers crossed his heart. “I won’t, I promise. So, what about your sexualness?”

Diamond shook her head. “Not yet, tell me more about a stallion’s penis and what it’s like.”

“Why do you wanna know? It’s not like you’re gonna touch one, right?”

“Well, I can still be curious, cock for brains.”

Snickers’s ears perked and turned towards Diamond. “Oh, really? Me and Rainbow play that game, are you sure you wanna take a try against me?”

“What game? Oh, you mean the one where mares are best and all stallions are colts that can’t handle a couple bad words?”

“Challenge accepted,” Snickers said scooting to face her completely. “So, how many ponies have to lick you like a lollipop before you’ve had enough and give one your creamy center?”

“Enough to make a stallion die trying, like you when you try to find a mare to mount.”

“Glad it won’t be you; you’re gonna be a dry hump for mares twice your age without lube.”

Diamond snickered shortly. “Oh, you’re gonna need lube for when some stallion shoves his foreleg into your ass until you cum a couple drops from your tiny little balls.”

Snickers bit his lip to hold back a laugh and furrowed his brows. “Really? I bet if I stuck a broom handle up your ass I could give you to Barnyard Bargains and have you sold as a discount hoe that nopony would want.”

Diamond lasted two seconds before she fell to her side laughing and Snickers was right after. They rolled side to side in the sand bonding as close friends in a way more than they both knew they needed until that moment.

“So,” Snickers said once they’d calmed down. He reached up and nudged Diamond’s tiara slightly into its proper place. “Are we friends now?”

Diamond tapped her chin. “Hmm, let’s see. Funny, check. Good listener, check. Does whatever I tell him, no check; which is good. Last, gay… well, Silver Spoon’s gay-ish and we were super close, so I guess you’re friend material,” she said waving a forehoof at him. “No, go get me some lemonade.”

Snickers blinked at her. “Wait, are those seriously your rules for being a friend?”

Diamond giggled. “No, and I’m glad you didn’t believe me or do what I just said. The last thing I need is a servant or a yes-mare, even Silver Spoon stood up to me and showed me she was beta mare material.”

“Why not alpha mare?”

Diamond laughed loudly. “Yeah, nopony’s gonna be alpha mare in my herd but me,” she said puffing herself up a little before deflating; she began digging a small hole in the sand between them. “I’m sorry I’m so difficult to be around, Snickers.”

Snickers replied kindly. “Hey, it’s fine. You’re true to yourself and that’s what matters. <God, I sound like that group.>”

“Hey, that’s that weird language you speak! How do you say my name, I bet it’s totally amazing,” Diamond asked excitedly. Her ears were focused on him as well as her eyes meeting his.

“Um, okay… you name is <Diamond Tiara>.”

Diamond scrunched her muzzle in a cute way that got Snickers to giggle quietly. “That just sounds weird. <‘Clarou Flablablabla’>... how can you say that so easily?”

Snickers rolled his eyes. “Uh, that was awful and you didn’t even try. “<Diamond Tiara>, you have use your tongue more at the center to make the <’mond’> sound and the back of your throat to make the <’ia’> sound. Try it now.”

Diamond thought it over and after asking him to repeat her name three more times, she was ready. “<Dialmond Tialma.> How was that? Perfect, right?”

Snickers grinned. “That was amazingly close, actually! Pony’s aren’t really designed to speak that language, so it takes a little extra effort to think about making the sounds, especially since the sounds are made to be used by a member of the great ape family, not evolved equines.”

“Yeah, yeah, how close was I that time?”

“Well, I’d say about ninety percent.”

“Cool! What about… water? How can I say that?”

Snickers looked at the lake and smiled. “<Water.> Easy and important.”

“Hmm. <Waah-terrr. Wah-ter.> Did I say it right?”

Snickers snapped his attention to Diamond when she said it correctly with wide eyes. “You said it greatly, actually. I thought I heard someone actually saying it, it was so close to perfect,” he said, heaping praise on the already proud filly.

“Yes, yes, I know I’m great, thank you, thank you,” she mock bowed to an imaginary crowd. “So, I can say <Wah-ter,> what else can you teach me? How about that electric wiring stuff, it sounds pretty easy.”

Snickers laughed this time. “Girl, you aren’t ready for the challenge of electrical engineering at my level.”

“Why the hay not? Mares can do anything, that’s why we have to teach colts like you how to do them; because we’re better,” she said snidely. “Plus, I really wanna know, now,” she said crawling closer and starting the pleading puppy eyes.

“Stop with the drama, let me tell you something. When I was a kid I was hooked up to a machine and over a month I had twenty years of schooling pumped into my head, then I was given a teacher to help me use my skill in the real world. Most of that schooling went away, because brains aren’t made to hold that much information being pumped into it.

“What didn’t go away is crammed into the long term area of my brain and is more muscle memory than actual thought, like catching a ball or jumping over a puddle; you don’t think about doing it, you just know you want it done and your body does the rest. I can understand things, and I know things, that you won’t ever be able to understand, Diamond Tiara, and it really sucks.

“I feel alone, so alone sometimes. I know I’m not, because everypony’s here, but what I know and have done and gone through to be the pony I am… I don’t know if I can ever feel complete with having to be with a pony that loves me and wants to be around me, that can understand me, too.”

Diamond sniffled. “That was so way off from what I was thinking you were gonna say… but can I be your friend, the friend that you need? Because I understand and I get you better than I thought I did.” She wiped her eye with her leg.

Snickers nodded. “Sure, let’s be mostly gay friends.” Snickers raised a forehoof and Diamond looked at it, then at the lake of ponies playing and flying around. The Launcher sent a pony flying and Diamond sighed at the tranquility of the moment.

Diamond got up and walked around to Snickers’s side and lay beside him, but not touching. “I think this is what friends like us need, more than a hoofbump and less than that kiss I gave you that one day… and today.”

Snickers cocked his head slightly and his right ear twitched. “You didn’t kiss me today.”

Diamond leaned close and kissed him under his left eye. “There, don’t expect that too often, if ever again. And yeah, it’s because you’re a walking semen stick and I won’t let you get any funny ideas,” she said finally grinning with him.

“Funny coming from a walking ice cream cone, because everypony wants a lick.”

Diamond accidentally tossed sand into her face when she tried to cover her muzzle to hide her laugh. Instead she listened as Snickers laughed at her flub and a new nickname with an inside joke she convinced him to not tell anypony about; ‘Sandy Cheeks’.

…

Nighttime eventually arrived and supper was served, Kiwe watched from the table as Rarity cooked the meal with the insistence that he be allowed to cook breakfast to begin showing his thankfulness.

“Miss Rarity, this is a very nicely cooked fish; is it locally caught or store bought?”

Rarity tittered. “Oh, you’re so sweet. Was that rhyme intentional?”

Kiwe shrugged. “They happen when they do, answer my question, will you?”

The four at the table giggled. “Very well. Yes, they are local and I bought them at the market this afternoon before the whole catapult adventure began. Snickers, it was very smart of you to ask for donations; you have twenty seven bits now. Don’t start losing them in your traditional way, or in any other way, for that matter. I know how you enjoy a challenge, much like our Rainbow Dash.”

Snickers rolled his eyes while chewing. Sweetie spoke up in his stead, “Well, he’s gotten a lot better over the last couple weeks. I think Apple Bloom had a good part to play in his swearing cutting back, to be honest.”

“Oh? And what has she been doing, I wonder?” Rarity hummed inquisitively while bringing a glass of wine to her lips with a little extra added salts.

“She’s been slapping his nose,” Sweetie said bringing some potatoes to her lips to test their temperature.

Rarity coughed into her glass and lamented the action as soon as she felt wine pepper her face. She quickly grabbed the napkin from her thigh and began dabbing herself. “Is she telling the truth, Snickers?” Rarity asked.

“Yeah, and I only got a little bloody nose once,” he replied with a touch of pride.

Rarity smacked the table with a hoof and everything on the table jumped, Sweetie too. “That is unacceptable! Why didn’t you tell me this sooner, you two? Harming each other is not permitted under general principal, striking one another on the snout is abuse! How can you be so blase about this?”

Snickers leaned away from Rarity without noticing. His ears drooped and he dropped his fork, his eyes watered slightly giving them a reflective shine. “I… I didn’t know, mom. Honest, I didn’t or I would have told you.”

“He’s telling the truth, sis! Don’t be mad at him, be mad at me and the girls, we should have done something else to stop his swearing.”

“Don’t make excuses for Apple Bloom. Tomorrow afternoon I’m going to speak with her sister at the market to resolve this issue once and for all. Kiwe, I apologize for my outburst,” Rarity said still upset, “but you understand the importance of proper discipline, right?”

Kiwe nodded, holding an empty fork in his magic. “It is fine, I am not bothered or upset; you’re a fine mother. As for hitting one another,” he looked at the colt to his left and filly to his right, “it is not acceptable and should stop right now, the damage done could be severe both physically and mentally.

“While on my travels, I came across a mare in a herd. She was kind, sweet, and full of care. When a friend of mine that I traveled with said something most unkind, the mare cowered and we didn’t know why. It was shortly afterwards that we met her herd sister and the mare cowered again, fearful she would be blamed and hurt because of the words of my friend.

“The lesson here is easy to see, pain breeds fear and should not be.”

Sweetie sighed sweetly and rested her chin in her hooves while looking at Kiwe. “Say something else,” she said quietly.

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Great, another Spike,” Rarity said under her breath. “Kiwe has a great point, you two. Sweetie, pay attention,” Rarity said poking her sister gently with a spoon to get her attention. “Hurting one another to teach a lesson, any lesson, hurts deeply and can cause serious trauma to a pony.

“It’s part of our very nature to adapt to our environments, and if we learn that pain comes from an action, then the pain can become part of the environment. Almost always it can be become a fear, in some cases a pleasure. I design many outfits for the latter, and while it’s good for business, I have to worry about what the buyer may be doing while wearing my designs.

“I often have the concern that,” she paused to drink some more wine, the saltiness and sweet brought a mental smile, “some poor mare will be brought to a clinic wearing my designs and it would come back to negatively affect my business.”

“I get it,” Snickers said, picking up his fork, “and I don’t like it because it hurts and I get scared around Apple Bloom sometimes, but she’s my sister in crusading a part of my herd. Former herd, I mean.”

Rarity stared at Snickers as he began to eat again, then turned to Sweetie Belle. “Sweetie, are you still in a herd?” Sweetie shook her head. “Do you do anything to imply you are in a more physical way?”

“No, sis. We broke the herd up so Snickers wouldn’t be alpha anymore, honest.”

“That word seems to be used often, as of late,” Rarity commented, “‘honest’, that is. Snickers, have you been doing anything physical with the former fillies of your herd?”

Snickers sipped water mixed with a small bit of wine. “Not that I can think of besides a hug or nuzzle, except Silver’s into me and gave me a kiss and wink today.”

Rarity was glad she wasn’t drinking. “When you say ‘wink’, you mean with her eye, right?”

Snickers shook his head. “No, Sweetie told me about the clitoris and what a wink is today in the bushes,” he smirked at Sweetie as she blushed and shook her head slightly, begging him to stop, “while she took care of some business.”

Rarity’s attention snapped to her sister. “Rarity,” Sweetie said quickly, “it’s not what you think and I only told him what I could! It’s not easy talking about… that stuff with a colt,” Sweetie tapped her hooves together nervously.

“Very well. Snickers, after supper I’ll explain the more intricate details of female anatomy that you may not know about.”

Kiwe raised his fork. “Actually, I may be able to do so, if you would not mind. He may be more understanding to hear it from another colt than his mother, as you may know.”

Rarity thought it over for a second. “Yes, I do. You may talk with him, but I will be there to add any information you may not have as a wallflower.”

Snickers snorted and looked at Rarity. “Mom, don’t bring Applejack into my nose thing, please. I know it’s a big deal, but with how everything seems to go wrong around me, I have a bad feeling that if you tell Applejack, it’ll just end with arguing and shouting, and almost definely-maybe me saying more dumb shit that’ll make it all worse.”

“That’s another bit in the jar, Rarity!” Sweetie shouted and pointed her fork at Snickers.

“Yes, Sweetie Belle, I know and I’ll take care of it,” Rarity used her magic to force Sweetie’s fork prongs back to the food on her plate, “now eat and let’s get on to more fun topics; all this talk of sex and pain is too much like a bad novel I can’t wait to read but lament to experience. I’ll start, today I learned my little prince really doesn’t like to fly on his own,” Rarity said, starting a more controlled and fun round of jokes and anecdotes about the day’s events.

Author's Notes:

Close friends, close family, good jokes, and nice wine. What else does a person need after a day like Snickers and Kiwe have had?

Sleeptime

“So, what’s the sleeping situation?” Snickers asked Rarity once they were nearly done eating.

“Well, since he’s a colt, I was thinking you two could share your bed while Sweetie sleeps with me, or by herself; her choice.”

“No way!” Snickers shouted louder than he’d expected. “I mean, I’m not sleeping alone with Kiwe. No offense, but what happened was an accident, dude, not an invitation.”

Rarity sipped some wine. “And what, pray tell, was this accident that preventing you from sleeping together tonight?”

Snickers pursed his lips and looked at Kiwe, then Sweetie and shook his head.

Kiwe blushed. “It is not my place to say, but it was an accident; all the way.”

Sweetie held her water between her hooves and took steady swallows to make herself seem too busy. “Children,” Rarity tutted them, “you know I’ll find out eventually, so why don’t we just have out with it? Nothing can surprise me, so tell me before I have to use my more devious method to convince you.”

Snickers sighed and grabbed the napkin from beside his plate, opened it, and draped it over his head. It was quickly lifted and Snickers looked into the pleading eyes of Rarity. “Mom… it’s no big deal, okay? Just, don’t freak out when I tell you and it wasn’t Kiwe’s fault at all, okay? Because, I wanna be okay with everypony here and everypony to be okay and… okay?”

Rarity tittered behind a hoof. “Indeed, everything will be okay.”

Snickers took a moment to grab his glass of water with a little wine in it to build his tolerance, then took a gulp and sighed while setting the glass beside his plate. “Mom…” Snickers said, then he started arranging his fork and knife in line with the plate.

“Out with it, my little prince, before I open a second bottle of house wine and add some more to your water.”

Snickers looked at Rarity. “I sucked Kiwe’s dick.” Rarity, once again, was drinking and did a classic spit take that rounded the inside of her glass and sprayed her face as well as getting some wine across the table and onto Kiwe’s plate. “Well, deepthroated, more like,” Snickers said a bit glumly.

Rarity coughed and Sweetie rushed to pat her sister’s back while she grinned at Snickers in a taunting manner. “Snickers,” Rarity said in a hoarse voice, “what the fuck? Oh,” she covered her mouth and dabbed her face with her napkin, “I’m so sorry, I rarely use such language, but,” Rarity took a drink from Snickers’s watered wine, “this is very sudden. You can stop patting my back, darling, I think,” Rarity cleared her throat, “that I’ll be waiting until bedtime before opening the second bottle, and maybe third.”

Kiwe spoke up, “It was not as it seems. It was a simple mistake--”

“But not a bad one,” Snickers added to complete the rhyme before snapping his mouth closed and covering it with his hooves. His dilated eyes looked intently from Kiwe to Rarity and back before he shook his head.

Sweetie was looking at Kiwe again. “Oh, you’re so sensitive and strong, Kiwe. Would you like to go crusading with me? I know a great spot where we can try to have a picnic, maybe dancing at the Clubhouse after?”

Rarity grumbled. “Sweetie Belle, isn’t it bath night? You should clean up so you can take a bath and get ready for bed.” Sweetie grinned suddenly and pushed herself from the table and used the momentum to gallop from the room. “Sweetie Belle? Clean up your mess!”

Sweetie didn’t answer Rarity, so Rarity cleaned her sister's plate while sitting and not looking away from the two colts. “Okay, you two, especially you, Snickers. What led you to believe having oral sex the same day you both meet was a good idea?”

Sweetie ran back into the room and returned to her seat, looking intently and slightly disdainful at Snickers. Rarity waited before Snickers uncovered his mouth. “Mom, are you mad at me?”

Rarity scoffed. “Perish the thought and burn it at sea; I don’t care who you love. I do, however, care about what happened between you two.”

Kiwe was about to say something, but was stopped by a raised hoof and an expression from Snickers. “Okay, mom, here’s what happened…”

Rarity poured more wine into her glass and swirled it. “I see, so Diamond pushed you down at the most inopportune time, you say?” Snickers and Kiwe nodded in agreement. “Well, I can see that happening, but that begs a couple questions. Have you, or do you plan to tell Diamond Tiara the truth about you both?”

“Already done, mom. Diamond’s a lot smarter than I give her credit for and figured it out herself. We’re closer friends now, and I guess it worked out.”

Rarity nodded. “Good, the last thing I want is for you to have a long drawn out story from this, more than it needs to be, anyway. Anyway… the second question is something every mare asks on this occasion,” she blushed and drank more wine. “How big was he and how was it?” Rarity giggled when Snickers stuttered and stammered for a few seconds.

“Well, what do you want me to say?” Snickers asked, to which Rarity replied with a stony expression. “Fine, as long as nopony else minds me talking about it.”

Sweetie shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind knowing, no reason.” She glanced aside to Kiwe.

Kiwe shrugged. “I am curious myself.”

Snickers whimpered under the attention. Normally he’d bask in it, after having caused some cultural faux pas, this was one of the rare times he was under the proverbial spotlight. “It was shocking at first… I had my mouth open because I was about to shout at Diamond Tiara, then she lept onto my back and I fell.

“It went in my mouth and I felt it sliding past my lips, my tongue, and then into my throat until it was in my stomach, I think. I watched it disappear and felt that bump in the middle, thing--”

“Medial ring, darling. Continue,” Rarity said and waved him on.

Snickers swallowed loudly and seemed to gaze into the distance as he recalled the event. “Yeah, that. It felt weird, like… softer than I thought it would, since I can’t actually feel mine because of my hooves and fur. I still remember the taste of warm saltiness as it went in and before a second had passed, my lips were kissing his… sheath.

“I swallowed, or tried to in that instant when I realized what happened and tried to get up, but fell back down and then I started to panic because I couldn’t breathe in or out. Then Diamond got off me and I got him out of my body and was about to yell at Diamond but, well,” Snickers shrugged, “I guess thinking about it scared me and thinking of my past and what had happened, I thought I had to vomit his cum out of me.

“I know he didn’t get that far,” Snickers blinked and looked at the ponies around the table, then blushed, “but I didn’t hate it once I thought about it. I don’t plan to do it again, ever, by the way. But, it wasn’t a horrible experience and I learned that ponies don’t have a gag reflex; so that’s a bonus for whoever my mare is gonna be.”

Rarity and Kiwe laughed quietly while Sweetie Belle was blushing brightly and looking intently at the fork on her plate. “Well,” Kiwe said, pushing his plate back, “you are a vivid story teller, and thank you for the compliments. However, I do not see colts as potential sexual partners, as flattering as you are,” he said with a wink that Sweetie didn’t see. “I wouldn’t mind sleeping with--”

“They can sleep with me!” Sweetie shouted suddenly.

Rarity was about to interject and disapprove, but she remembered Snickers sleeping with the fillies, and that Kiwe seemed to have a good head on his shoulders. She looked to Snickers. “I won’t object, as long as you approve. She is family and a former member of your herd, afterall.”

Snickers shook his head. “I don’t care, I just don’t wanna think about sex again tonight. Can I go play?”

Rarity nodded. “Yes, once you clean up your mess.”

Snickers got up and once his hooves were on the floor he bit the rim of his plate and walked it to the sink and placed it in as carefully as he could. “Okay, thanks! Wanna play too, Sweetie Belle?”

“Sure,” Sweetie replied and quickly followed.

“Kiwe, may I have a word with you, before you go play as well?”

“Yes, Miss Rarity. How can I assist you?”

Rarity moved to the sink and started the water and added a little soap. Kiwe moved beside her and prepared to help her wash up. “Oh, I don’t need your help with this. I was actually going to do the atypical sisterly warning,” she said and pulled a very sharp knife from the knife block.

Kiwe took a step back. “I see you have a very nice, and sharp, chef’s knife from Germaney. Good choice,” he gulped.

“Yes, isn’t it. When I have to prepare fish it’s like moving my hoof through water, a connoisseur such as yourself understands that quite well, yes?” Rarity said while looking down the exposed tang to the tip, aimed just below Kiwe’s barrel and to his hind hooves. “It’s well balanced and quite multipurpose, but prone to slipping if one isn’t careful with it. Isn’t that right,” she smiled darkly at him, “sweetie.”

Kiwe took a step towards the doorway. “Ah, yes. Quite the useful item, a must have for every chef… I should really go play with Snickers.”

Rarity turned the knife around. “Oh? I was hoping you would test it’s quality for me, since you’re going to be using it to cook breakfast for us after a restful night at the far side of my little prince, right?”

Kiwe chuckled nervously and leaned back from the offered handle.. “I will take your word that the knife is quite… well to use; and your message is greatly understood. I would like to inform you that I have no interest in anypony locally… should you choose to set me up with anyone, I am not looking for a mate, is what I mean to say.”

Rarity swung the knife around herself and back into the knife block without looking and with expert precision. “Great! I’ll keep that in mind and shan’t look into your personal love life, but as you saw tonight; I do like to keep informed of my very honest and blunt housemates. Now, go play and I’ll draw you all a bath, then I have an hour of family time scheduled for us to all bond. It’s Snickers’s turn to choose the game, just so you know. Ta-ta.”

Rarity hummed a tune and began washing dishes with her hooves and magic, so Kiwe quickly left the room and leaned against the wall, sweat beading onto his forehead. “I don’t understand mares,” he lifted his foreleg and noticed it shaking. “One minute it’s ‘impregnate me or my daughter with your foals’, the next it’s ‘touch her and be gelded’.

“At least it’s not from the same mare, but such extremes could be easily asked instead.”

Snickers came around the bend and waved to Kiwe. “C’mon, bro, we’re gonna play in Sweetie’s room; she has some great board games and playing cards.”

Kiwe quickly trotted to Snickers. “Lead the way.”

***

Snickers climbed into Sweetie’s bed followed by Sweetie and Kiwe. Sweetie pulled the blankets back and ducked in, a mountain the size of a filly moved around until Sweetie’s head poked from the opening and collapsed onto one of the three pillows. “My bed’s usually used by me and the other crusaders… er, the other girls, that is. Until Snickers came along, I mean,” she giggled nervously.

“Anyway, Snickers can sleep on this side and Kiwe can sleep on this side,” she patted to her right and looked into the zony’s eyes.

Kiwe moved to the side Snickers was offered. “I would feel more comfortable sleeping with my new brother between us.”

Sweetie sat up. “Wait, brother? When did you accept Kiwe as a brother?!”

Snickers moved beside Kiwe and then started using his forehoof to turn down the covers. “It was when we were setting up the Pony Launcher. I don’t know why, but something just made me wanna have him close to me, as a friend, not in a gay way.”

Sweetie huffed. “You don’t have to make being gay sound so bad, you know. Plenty of ponies are and it’s okay, okay?”

Kiwe’s horn lit and the covered pulled down so Snickers could climb in before himself. “Sweetie Belle is right, Snickers. You seem to have preconceived notions about homosexuality that do not sound very nice.”

Settling in, Snickers lay on his back. “Well, where I’m from it wasn’t really an okay thing. I mean, there were,” he looked side to side, “<about one hundred billion>” of us all over the place, but the gender ratio was still pretty equal between male and female. There were a few others that were different, alien if you will, but we couldn’t mate with them, not in the same way we’re used to.

“Mostly, anyway. Anyway, I keep getting distracted from the main point… for many years the debates have still gone on between different factions, religions, cultures, and societies about sexuality across the vast voids between where we called home. I grew up where survival was more important to my family, and I was okay with homosexuality…

“But being raped a few times by other males kinda messes that balance up, ya know.”

Sweetie hugged Snickers. “I keep forgetting about that; I’m so sorry you had to go through something so horrible once, not even the other times after.”

Kiwe was aghast. “What… how… where in the world are you from that such acts occur and are not swiftly dealt with? Show me on a map and I’ll make a point to cleanse such filth before I draw my last breath.”

Sweetie and Snickers looked at Kiwe as he seethed in a quiet rage. “Kiwe,” Sweetie said quietly, “he’s not from our world. But, it’s a secret, okay?”

Kiwe, still sneering, shook his head. “No place is an excuse for such abhorrent actions and deeds, I’d be willing to cross and geld the fiends.”

“No, Kiwe,” Snickers stated. “I was a different creature and person. The pony I am now is so much more because of who I am and who I was, all thanks to the ponies around me. I don’t want you to become mean and angry because of my past in another life, just be the brother that…” Snickers stared into space for a second. “Damn Harmony probably made me want you as a brother.

“But I don’t care, I like you and you’re neat, so far. You’re a good colt and different, like me. I’d hate to change our brotherly status, but let’s make being brothers a trial for the time being? That way we can learn if it’s meant to be, or Harmony. Great, now I’m rhyming,” they quietly laughed. “Sweetie, just because I rhyme doesn’t mean you can fall in love with me too.”

Sweetie gasped and slapped Snickers on his chest while pulling back and hiding her head under the covers. “I don’t love you like that Snickers, and Kiwe’s just really…” she went silent for a few seconds. “He’s just somepony I’d like to get to know more, is all.”

The door to Sweetie’s room opened and Rarity walked in. “Well, it seems you’re all in your proper places. Do you need anything before I turn out the lights and leave with the door slightly open to listen for anything you may have to call for?” She asked, looking at the bump of filly shaped blankets.

Snickers answered. “Nope, I think we’re good. Have a great night, mom.”

“Night, Rarity,” the covers mumbled.

“Goodnight, Miss Rarity.”

Rarity smirked. “Yes, good night to you all. Sleep well, and keep an eye on them, Snickers.”

Snickers gave a small salute. “Yes, ma’am.”

Rarity turned the light off and left the room. “So,” Snickers asked as two ponies settled to his sides, “when do you think Sweetie’s gonna confess her love?”

Kiwe snickered and Sweetie pulled herself tighter into the covers with a squeak. Several seconds passed before Sweetie pulled the blankets back with a sly smirk. “When are you gonna foal with Silver Spoon, Snickers?”

Snickers coughed and turned to his side to clear his throat. “Sweetie, I was swallowing when you said that,” he said once he could.

Rarity, outside the door, covered her mouth from making a sound. ‘So, he swallows, does he?’ she thought before mentally smacking herself for such an inappropriate thought.

Snickers rolled back to his back. “And no, I’m not doing that with anypony until I’m much older. I’m 5, not 7. I’m not ready to be a dad.”

“Sure sounds like you know what to say just when she’s near to get her flagged and ready,” Sweetie teased.

“Ugh, shut up, Sweetie, or I’ll tell Kiwe about what I heard you telling the other fillies at the lake.” Sweetie’s eyes widened and she lifted her head to look at the new colt and his smile that tingled her tail when she saw it.

“Fine, I’ll be quiet about that… for now. When’s Kiwe starting school?”

“Actually, I don’t need to attend. I have traveled the world enough to learn what school has to teach, there is little outside my reach. Once I get my mark, I will know my place and where to start.”

Snickers gave Sweetie a little shove when she exhaled quietly in the telltale way that showed her attraction. “Stop winking at Kiwe, Sweetie.”

She blinked. “I didn’t wink, I was blinking norma-ly… you stinky colt!” Sweetie gave him a shove and a playful hit. “I didn’t even… not once since we got in bed have I--”

“Oh, so you did earlier, then?” Snickers ribbed the filly.

Sweetie growled behind her teeth loudly. “You colts are awful!”

“I’d like to say that I’m not in this game you play.”

“You are too,” Sweetie said crossing her forelegs over her barrel. “You aren’t defending me at all. What kind of stallion doesn’t defend his mare from other stallions?”

Kiwe lifted his head to look at the petulant filly, then laid back down. “Well, we’re not stallions. He’s not after, or attacking, you physically, and you’re neither my mare or my filly. You’re a friend I have yet to spend time speaking with, so I barely know you well enough to consider a true friend, much less a mate.”

Sweetie harumphed. “Whatever, maybe you’re not everything I thought you were, then.”

“Probably not. Only time will tell,” he yawned. “As it is, I have not slept in a bed for a couple moons, so I’d like to do so now. Fare thee well until next we meet in the land of the waking,” Kiwe said snuggling into the pillow.

“Fine, goodnight, Kiwe. Have the sweetest of dreams.”

Snickers chuckled. “Smooth, Sweetie. Real smooth.”

Author's Notes:

Kinda rushed this one, but I think I got the feel of it right. For a while going forward, the story will try to focus on cutie mark attempts and Snickers trying to stay out of others' feelings and personal lives while everything happens around him on a daily basis and Kiwe learning to live a settled life from what may have been a very nomadic one.

Romantic interests at the moment:
Apple Bloom isn't interested in anypony particular, but...
Sweetie Belle wants Kiwe.
Kiwe is attracted to Diamond Tiara.
Diamond Tiara might want Silver Spoon or Kiwe to 'play' with; still undefined.
Silver Spoon wants Snickers.
Snickers wants Scootaloo.
Scootaloo just wants to be like Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash wants Applejack, who wants her back; both are too stubborn to admit and act on it.

Crap, what have I started? No, I don't know how this will resolve itself yet.

Rarity is only playing the part of a defensive sister and won't actually hurt Kiwe, she made that clear; but that's not to say she wouldn't be mad at him if he did anything to Sweetie, which the zony has no plans or intentions of doing. So, please, don't think this is gonna turn into something so drole; I'm better than that and you're worth more than that.

Mares, Sex, Zonys, and Zebras

Snickers sat in class taking notes with a pencil in his lips and he was writing poorly, but still writing. He took pride in his advancements, no matter how small they seemed to be. The end of class bell rang and Snickers left the schoolhouse with his group of fillies following him with Silver Spoon close to his side, but not touching.

They all talked in their own conversations, laughed at one another’s jokes when they heard something they recognized, and enjoyed each other’s company all the way to Rarity’s boutique. They entered through the back door and quickly ascended the stairs as quietly as they could so they wouldn’t interrupt Rarity while she worked with a client.

Sweetie closed her room door once everypony was in and pranced to Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara to join their conversation. Snicker sat with Silver Spoon and Apple Bloom, lying on their bellies with their forehooves almost touching. Silver Spoon and Apple Bloom noticed and were waiting with bated breath for Snickers to reach the last inch to touch Silver Spoon and let her know she could start to court him.

“...and then I saw Twist drop her tomato in the grass and she had to eat the grass to get her tomato,” Snickers laughed with Silver Spoon while Apple Bloom chuckled.

“That’s a good one. And it happened just today? Where was I?”

“You were on the swings with Sweetie pushing you and Scootaloo.”

Silver Spoon hummed happily. “Yeah, and I was with Snickers and I saw it happen.”

Snickers nodded. “Yeah, she’s my witness to the tomato incident,” he pointed at Silver Spoon and set his hoof down. He felt his hoof contact something and noticed he bumped Silver’s. “Sorry about that, I wasn’t paying attention. I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Snickers looked up from her hoof to see Silver blushing and smiling. “No, my sweet stallion. I trust you won’t ever hurt me.”

Snickers shook his head in resignation. “Not again… Silver, I’ve told you a hundred times that I’m not looking to start a relationship right now and that I’m not a stallion yet. You gotta stop thinking about sex so much and more about what games to play to have fun as a filly.”

Snickers reached up and booped Silver’s nose, smirking when the grey filly scrunched her face and wiggled her muzzle to the best of her ability. “Don’t boop me unless you want me to show you how I’m going to boop you, once you take me as your alpha mare.”

Snickers’s tail swayed side to side on the floor and his posture told of his annoyance with the filly and her comment. “Okay, if you’re not gonna go easy with the sex talk, I’m gonna have to spend some time away from you to help you cool off.”

“You’re the only reason I’m so hot,” Silver said under her breath, just barely audible. Snickers heard her and stood up, before he could walk past her, Silver Spoon leaned forward and wrapped her forelegs around the closest of his. “No, I didn’t mean it. Well, I did,” she admitted,” but it’s just… like, fillies; am I right?” Silver giggled cutely and Snickers had to admit it was a bit endearing.

He relaxed and she let his leg go, looking up at him from a more submissive posture. “Silver,” Snickers said and rested his forehoof on a spot between his eyes, “what are we gonna do if you keep hounding me about this and I actually stop liking you as a close friend and move to a casual friend, or less?”

Silver’s right ear drooped as thoughts crossed her mind, then the other joined it and her proud posture slumped away. The others in the room stopped talking and Snickers closed his eyes to control the glare he’d have given the fillies in the room for making him the center of drama once again.

Silver looked up and met his eyes with worry. “Snickers, I didn’t think you’d be so different the first time I saw you. After you hurt me and did that stuff, I wasn’t sure about you at all. Then I saw the toughest colt ever, like in the Ant Crawler series, right in front of me. But, I can’t tame you being the alpha mare, can I?”

Snickers cocked his head slightly, quickly decided to talk to Rarity about what he wasn’t understanding, and chose what he thought was the best option. “Silver Spoon, I don’t know what I want yet. I’m not even a stallion; I haven’t started… you know,” he glanced to the fillies that were paying close attention to him.

Diamond giggled when she noticed his awkward look. “He means ejaculation, girls! It’s the white stuff that makes babies when his special somepony lets him mount her,” she teased with a wink.

“Ew! Gross, I’m not letting that stuff get near me!”

“Me, too. Mah sis already wants me ta start poppin’ foals out like Ah was a bitch in heat.”

“He-he, don’t look at me, I’m not gonna have one of those in me without good reason.”

“She has a good point!”

“Who? Diamond, or Scootaloo?” “Yes!” “What about in the other holes?” “Like my nose? Grosser!” “How about mouth?” “Butt?” “Butt and mouth?”

“Butt breath!”

The fillies all started laughing, leaving Snickers and Silver to themselves for a moment. Snickers shook his head. “Look, I like you. Don’t think I don’t, I’m just not ready to grow up yet. Being grown up sucks, and life in Equestria is way awesome. I don’t want to rush it, because you only get to be a kid once, right?”

“But, I can marry you and you can move in with me. I have a really good house and family, you should see it before you make a real choice.”

Snickers shook his head. “No, I’ll come over to play, but that’s it. You need to stop pushing me so much for that stuff, or I might not want it when we’re both ready. Haven’t you ever had a pony pushing you to do something you didn’t want to do until you couldn’t stand to be with them?”

Silver Spoon’s eyes glazed over and a frown formed on her face; her sightline went to Diamond Tiara. “Yes, she wanted me to play dress up and play ‘taste the jewels’, but the jewels weren’t what I thought she was talking about. She took her turn first and that’s how I learned I wasn’t into fillies the same as she was, but she kept trying to play dress up and I stopped all together at her house.”

Silver looked up to Snickers again and sighed as her gaze dropped to her hooves as she spoke quietly. “Okay, I’m being a total Diamond about this, I guess. But, like, you’re just so… mare-like. You’re strong and confident like my mother, you have such good graces like my auntie, and you always smell like flowers and stallion… and it’s…” Silver inhaled deeply over five seconds and shivered visibly.

Snickers turned his ear to listen to the other fillies and cringed, focusing back on his conversation with Silver Spoon as being the lesser of two evils.

“...about drinking it with supper?” “No, cereal!” “Oatmeal?” “What about if it comes out his color?” “Chocolate flavor but white color?” “No, the other way.” “What about when it comes out?” “What’s it taste like, Scootaloo?” “Salty.” “Snickers’s is?” “What about the color of his penis?” “Yeah, will that change anything about the emasculampation?” “Ejaculation.” “Don’t be a dictionary!” “You’re a dictionary!”

Diamond’s voice cut above the gallery. “Snickers, they’re talking about your dictionary over here!”

“Quiet!” “Hush.” “He can’t hear us because his ears are the wrong way.” “So?” “So?” “So, he can still hear; he ain’t deaf.” “Penis, penis, penis.”

There were giggles around the room and Snickers heard Silver restraining her own. “Silver, go be with the girls, I’m gonna go see mom about Kiwe. He should be in the kitchen starting supper, so I won’t be but a moment, darling.” Sweetie Belle gasped loudly and waved the other fillies into a big huddle.

Snickers felt embarrassment after speaking like Rarity, but it was made all the worse when, as he left the room, he was bid farewell with a teasing chorus of, “See you soon, darling,” from a gaggle of giggling girls.

Snickers shut the door urgently and made his way downstairs as quickly as he could, pleased the stairs were oddly long to accommodate the equine body and biology. “Mom?” He called when he entered the quiet showroom. He went to the kitchen, her sewing area, and finally peeked into the changing rooms.

“Her room was closed, but she hasn’t been taking care of herself hardly at all since the day I lost my voice and Harmony can go fuck itself… she’s not down here, the basement has, <dear God>, dirt, so she won’t be there. She must have gone out, but why? And without a note? Ugh, what I wouldn’t give for a little GPS or subdermal tracking implant to find who I’m looking for.”

Snickers went to the front door and noticed the sign was turned to ‘closed’. He rushed to his bit bag and took two out, slipped them into the top of his mane where a small cloth kerchief had been placed for ‘politeness emergencies’, as Rarity called them, and went out to the market with the hope of finding a tasty treat to snack on.

The crowd was a bit more subdued when he reached the market and went to a sandwich stand to buy a simple vegetable sandwich to snack on. He went three stalls over to buy a large juice; and with his snack he sat at a picnic table to eat without females endlessly talking about sex and the like.

“So, I’m lying on my back, like some Camel Sutra pose, with Dark on top when he moves his hind leg--”

Snickers turned his head. “...to wash my tail twice, and I still smelled like her. What if he finds out I was with her? What am I gonna do?”

Snickers sipped his drink and looked at the table and his food, his ears turned to another catchy voice. “...can’t put her off ferever, she’s the finest zap apple in the whole orchard. Ah just can’t see her settlin’ down with a mare like me until she--”

Snickers flattened his ears to his head and, in the muffled silence, sate his hunger and thirst quickly before getting up and returning the plate and cup to the nearest wash basin to clean them before returning them to the stands he got them from.

“Can’t he th’top walking like that?”

“Hush, Twist, he might hear you.”

“If I can thee hith thiney thmile, he can hear me forever.”

“Ugh, you got it bad. Go talk to him, he looks nice.”

“No, he’th the one that beat up Thilver Thpoon and Diamond Thiara. Thilver claimed him, tho I have to wait to athk Thilver.”

Snickers washed quicker as the nearby fillies talked just below conversation level.

“Silver’s his mare already? Dang, colt moves fast,” the voice giggled with Twist’s.

“Jutht wait, he thways hith tail and you can thee hith hangerth. Tho full he’th gotta be ready thoon.”

“Twist!” The other filly said with a happy gasp. “You’re just awful.”

Snickers picked the plate up in his teeth and balanced the cup on it, rushed to return them, and then noticed that there were only mares around the market. From end to end, mares; talking about what seemed to be the only topic they cared about. A topic he wanted less to do with at that moment than anything he could think of.

“Where’s Kiwe? I need a male in my presence before I turn into a cowering mess.”

Wind rushed around him and kicked dust into the air, covering him before he could get out of the way. “Oh, hey sport! How’s it hanging? Get it, cuz you’re a colt?” Rainbow laughed and flew around Snickers. “Dusty, Rarity’s gonna freak when she comes back with her guest and sees you dirty like that.”

Snickers looked around and took note of the mares in the area. “Nothing compared to how dirty you are every morning you leave your house.”

Rainbow snickered and landed to lean close to him. “At least I wash after I’m done, you probably strut like you have a herd every day of the week.”

“At least I’d get real action, not in a solid form for eighteen bits in some Manehattan back alley.”

Rainbow puffed her wing feathers. “It was was more than…” she blushed once she realized she slipped and Snickers laughed loudly at her.

“Wow, what creature? Perhaps a gryphon?” Snickers suggested with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Rainbow hopped into a hover and looked across the street. “Uh, you win this round, spunky. I’ll see you in a few, I’ve gotta go check something at home quick.”

“Yeah, price tag or size?” Snickers shouted when Rainbow took off leaving her rainbow contrail behind her. “<God, I love that mare’s ease to tease.>” Snickers felt his cheeks tingle and he shook his head at what he’d said. “Not saying that again, nope, nope.”

“Oh, and why not, lady killer?”

Snickers halted his first step and grimaced. He looked to his side at the grinning green mare. “Uh, h-hi, Lyra. I didn’t see you there.”

“I know, I was lying down in the shade reading these music sheets; clearly I was totally hiding behind that one small tree,” she pointed behind herself and Snickers saw several pages lying in an uneven stack, the tree was barely the width of her head and he wondered how he didn’t notice her.

“Uh, sorry you had to hear that. I know it’s <fucked up> for a colt like me to talk to a mare like that, and I’ll apologize <when it rains monkeys>.”

Lyra laughed loudly. “Snickers, you remember I can understand every language, right? From the single night you came to my meeting, when I admitted it to you and the group.” Snickers’s eyes widened in recollection. “Don’t worry, I like a little mare talk now and then, and you look like you walked right into the middle of the market before two in the afternoon.” Lyra snickered. “I remember you saying you don’t know a lot about pony culture, so come lay down with me under the tree and I’ll fill you in on what you walked in to.

“Stallions and colts don’t go to the market unless only they can work the stalls between noon and two because that’s lunch time. Since Ponyville is almost entirely female, that means it’s the best time for us to gather and talk about our personal lives with one another and, well, gossip; because we all have our own lives and can’t see one another as often as we like.

“Small town or not, everypony can’t see their friends every day; so, we meet at lunch in the market. Now, silly colt,” Lyra tapped his nose, “don’t go there unless you’re looking for a reason to listen to stories that will certainly make you uncomfortable or have other effects on your body you might not understand until you’re older.”

Snickers laid his head on his forelegs and huffed. “Why do I learn stuff after I make a mistake? So much trouble can be fix or passed by if Equestria came with some kind of survival guide to pony culture or something.”

Lyra giggled sweetly and Snickers saw the cutest smile on her lips. “Maybe that’s what you’re meant to do with your life. Learn what’s okay and then write it down so other creatures don’t make the same mistakes.”

“Or maybe I’m meant to skip stones down a river while wearing a clown hat,” Snickers snarked back. “Cutie marks don’t make any sense, sometimes. And I’m not even old enough to vote, why would anypony take anything I write serious?”

Lyra put a forehoof on his foreleg in a platonic manner. “You have to give yourself more credit, as long as you’re honest with yourself and true to what you do, then you can do anything you want. I believe in you; you have to believe in you, too.”

“That’s more of your group <bull shit> that I don’t wanna hear! Why can’t I just get a single answer from anypony before I fuck up? I shouldn’t have to help anyone do anything to not do what I did because the should know that doing the thing they did was my fault because I made the mistake and I feel like such a fuck up and I just can’t do anything right and… and,” Snickers sniffled and was pulled into a hug by Lyra. “Lyra, why can’t I understand ponies?

“I try so much, but every filly wants me to be theirs next season, there are almost no colts to hang out with and I’ve only met three in a month I’ve been here outside school. I came looking for the one and… all I found was mares talking about sex. I just want a day without that coming up, is that too much to ask for?”

Lyra rubbed the back of Snickers’s neck and her hoof went through his mane, messing up the styling he’d worked on that morning for almost half an hour; but he didn’t care right then. “Snickers, I’m so sorry. I thought you knew about that, and about how to avoid it… there’s a way, but it can make you uncomfortable at first.”

Snickers shook his head against Lyra’s neck. “I don’t care. I need a break from so much sex everywhere I go. I want fillies to stop checking under me, or flashing me and giggling when I see under their tails, and talking about me being their first, and mares and their sexploits.”

Lyra hummed a laugh. “Sexploits? I have to remember that one. Okay, I have to talk with Rarity, then. I can’t help you the way you need, but she can with a lot more ease.” Snickers scooted back and looked at Lyra awkwardly. “Ugh, no, it’s not anything sexual. I just have to ask her about casting the spell or finding the right enchantment.

“I’ve heard about it, but it’s a mother’s duty to talk to their foal about it. And, I seriously thought you knew; it’s one of those things you don’t know because you just don’t, Snickers. Don’t feel bad. So, should I come with you?”

Snickers smirked. “Well, I don’t think I’m old enough, or your type.”

Lyra stuck her tongue out at him. “That’s why fillies are so enamoured by you, if you talk like that you’ll have ponies begging to be in a herd with you just to be near them for the chance to talk naughty with a stallion.”

Snickers groaned. “I’m not a stallion!”

Lyra got up and took her musical notes in her magic, rolled them, and slipped them into a bag she had set behind the tree. “C’mon, I think I saw Rarity about ten minutes ago with Zecora heading out of town with,” she looked side to side and made a full turn around to check for any large horses before leaning closer to whisper, “Kiwi.”

Snickers furrowed his brow. “His name’s Kiwe, ‘key-whey’, got it? Don’t let me hear you mess up his name again, or else.”

Lyra leaned back from his expression, adult or filly, there was a respect held for colts and stallions she couldn’t deny overtook her. She nodded twice and turned away, forcing herself to break away from the heated look he was giving her. Snickers noticed her tail lower than it usually seemed to be and her head was dipped a bit, her ears were certainly a bit turned back, too.

He was learning a lot about pony emotions through their body actions, and she was acting like a scolded filly. “Lyra?”

“Yes, Snickers?” She answered with one ear turning back to him.

“I’m sorry I was mean a few seconds ago, I wanna be your friend and didn’t mean to be that way. You’re a really nice mare and I’d like to go to your group again, if you’d let me.”

Lyra’s posture lifted and she looked back at him. “Really? You’ll come back? Because I would like to see better attendance and less creatures hiding in cloaks. Anyway, I appreciate it, either way and I’ll take you to where I saw them last, but if they went into the forest, I’m not going after them and neither are you, got it, Crusader?”

“Yeah, I get it. Show me the way, oh mighty way shower,” he dipped his head curtly and they both shared a sarcastic laugh.

Lyra quickly led him around town and to the area the catapult had been before it was moved to the lake area when they saw Rarity walking back by herself. Lyra hopped up and reared so she could wave to Rarity and together, Lyra and Snickers galloped to the posh mare.

“Darlings, whatever are you doing out here? Oh, my; is everything well at home, Snickers?”

“No, mom, honest! Everything’s fine, nothing’s out of the ordinary and nothing’s bothering me, because I’d tell you if it was.”

Rarity looked deadpan at Snickers, then kindly at Lyra. “Would you be a dear and tell me what’s really happening?”

“Sure,” Lyra looked at Snickers for a split second. “He was feeling lonely for a colt to hang out with so he just got away from the market; it’s one o’clock, by the way,” Rarity gasped behind her hoof and looked apologetically at Snickers. “And then he let me know about how the fillies and mares make him… I guess uncomfortable is the right word, so I told him about the want not-see not spell.”

Rarity nodded in understanding. “I know of it, but I wonder if it’s what Snickers really needs. He’s not at the age where he’s affected the same as a stallion or mare would be, and he gets along so well with the fillies in his herd that it’s bound to come to light regardless.”

“I’m not in a herd, mom! I told you I broke it up after Harmony jacked off in my dreams and tried to change my brain.”

“Well, that’s certainly a… unique way to phrase what happened. And, my little prince, could you not bring up our little shared vision? It was quite upsetting. Lyra, are you okay?”

Snickers looked aside to see Lyra looking down at him with sparkling eyes and biting her bottom lip. Lyra looked at Rarity and snerked. “That is so adorable! You call him your ‘little prince’? I love him even more now,” she said wrapping him in yellow magic and pulling him into a tight hug. “Aww, who’s a great little prince from another world? You are… yes you are.”

Rarity forced Lyra’s magic from Snickers and pulled him towards herself with a disappointed look. “Lyra, I’d thank you to not talk to my son as though he were some common house pet, and to use decorum when using your magic on a foal with his past and present issues with the world at large.”

Lyra was a bit crestfallen and hurt, but accepted the accusations. “I’m sorry, Rarity. I just heard that little name and he’s so cute that it just overwhelmed me. I won’t lose control like that again, honest. Filly Scout’s honor.”

“You were in the Filly Scouts?” Rarity asked.

“Oh, hey, it’s time for me to meet Bonbon at the shake shack. Catch you two later,” Lyra turned on a hoof and galloped back to town.

“Mom, why are so many ponies just so weird?”

“I truly don’t know, Snickers. But, they’re not as awkward in larger cities as they are in small towns.”

Snickers nodded. “Yeah, different strokes for different folks.” Rarity released her magic holding him and he fell onto his rump with a groan.

“That’s for using uncouth speech again. And, what is on your shirt? I helped you dress this morning while Kiwe cooked breakfast, and you come home with grass stains and mud around your cuffs,” she walked around him giving him a complete once over naming everything off about his already limited outfit.

“Mom,” Snickers moaned for several seconds until Rarity stopped. “Where’s Kiwe? I wanna have boy time, I can’t be around girls right now. Fillies are just as bad as mares, sometimes. I said the most normal thing and Silver went into her eternal love for me, then Diamond made a joke, and then all of them were talking… just…” he fell to his side and dug his forehoof into the soil. “I need a boy to play with.”

Rarity bit back a scolding at his further messing of his custom shirt, a joke at how she could use a boy toy herself, and the desire to drag Snickers to the spa and give him the deluxe works again, but this time she’d make sure he got the adult treatment including imported mud mask facials, having his ears deep cleaned, and making sure he got a full body massage without any frisky business… at least not while he was in the room.

“Ugh, Snickers… there’s a reason I go to the spa, and seeing you being so messy is one of them. Come along, darling. I’ve sent Kiwe with Zecora to catch up at her hut; why, when Zecora found out I had come across Kiwe she was quite thrilled and it turns out that they are related by blood. Can you believe it?”

Snickers got up and moved into place by Rarity’s side and slightly back, listening to her talk more attently now. “It seems as though zebra’s are quite nomadic, like the ponies of olde, but they are quite intent on keeping family logs with one of their two cities across the Zebracan continent.

“Zecora has a third cousin from a tribe that crosses with her former tribe that knows Kiwe’s mother and her family. From what little I was able to glean from Zecora’s rhyme speech, Kiwe went to find his father and destiny just over a year ago and had been thought lost to the world in some adventure; which is a clever way to say they hoped he wasn’t in the Great Meadows.

“Hm, I wonder if Zebra believe in the Great Meadows, which are also called the Pastures Beyond, as a place for an afterlife. Minotaurs, so I’ve heard, speak of joining the Mighty Minos, Unas of Lazo, Lord of the labyrinth,” she said in a quiet bellow and chuckle. “They are quite big on titles and pomp.

“Now, the gryohons believe in… what was it? It’s only referenced in a couple of books I’ve read, none of the romantic ones, either. Well, the history is a bit lost on me, but I do know they believe that their duty is to live honorably and when they pass on, they go to a quite confusing world of their own that hosts any ecosystem they want and they hunt and start a new family with the lost souls of other creatures worthy of them… and so on, and so on.

“It’s quite a romanticized view of what we believe, but they are predators to our prey; so many things won’t exactly cross over as easily understood. Have I told you I actually met a gryphon here in Ponyville? She was far from my first gryphon, but at the top of the rude list of all time. Why, she even made Fluttershy cry for simply walking some ducks through town. The nerve of some hens,” Rarity snorted.

“Wow, that bird sounds like a real… wet blanket. Did you sew her into a dress lined with chain metal so she couldn’t get out of it and had to run away like a wild grafnal?”

“What in Equestria is a ‘grafnal’?”

“Oh,” Snickers thought of the mental image of the creature he thought of. “Well, imagine a rat the size of a filly without a tail, omnivorous, six legs, four eyes, and loves to cuddle the creature it bonds itself to. Uh, kinda like a weird spider dog that’s scared of everything until it’s domesticated.”

Snickers heard Rarity retch and cover her mouth with a hoof. “Ugh, that sounds like an absolutely horrid monstrosity. I hope you never had one going after you, did you?”

“Going after… mom, it was my favorite animal,” he said flatly. “My last one’s name was Gallagher, after some ancient jester that played to the crowds.”

Rarity swallowed exaggeratedly. “Well, I hope this comedian was better than the creature you had.”

Snickers shrugged, smiling internally. “I chose the name because when I got Gallagher, he jumped onto this mouse that scared my mom and the mouse popped like a paint filled balloon across the dinner table when the Grand Taxier was collecting his dues. It was all over him and the heart was still beating on his fat nose. I almost peed laughing, especially when my mom offered to cook the little rat for a tax break that year.”

Snickers stopped and looked up to find out why Rarity had stopped. He wasn’t expecting her to actually change color as she became more and more ill. She turned to her right and ducked her head into the nearest bush to vacate her stomach.

Snickers watched and his good mood fell quickly. “Mom, are you okay? Did I say something, again? Mom, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sick; I was just trying to be funny and this wasn’t supposed to happen.” Snickers rested his forehoof on her back and moved in small circles to comfort her as best he could.

Rarity spit and coughed shortly after she started, then backed out of the bush and cast a spell encasing the greens in a blue field of energy. “Snickers, come along. I am in more need of the spa than I thought I was.”

Trying to save the moment, he tried another joke. “So, do you think you’re pregnant from that vision we had?”

Rarity snorted with a short nicker. “I’d hope not, lest I find a way to have a piece of my mind with them and demand restitutions.”

“Uhm… good plan?” Snickers said, not sure of how to respond.

“Yes, I believe it is, too. Now, I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t speak of gore and vicera in such detail; it clearly makes me ill to think of the innards of the food I am required to eat. Thankfully in small portions and without knowing what actually happened to the meats before they reach my sight.”

Snickers shook his head and stayed quiet until he got to the showers in the spa. “Mom, are Zebra’s bad?”

Rarity looked back at Snickers and stopped washing her mane. “Why would you think that?”

“Well,” he said waiting for his tail to be cleaned from a second shower head in the stall, “I haven’t seen or heard of them besides Zecora, and now Kiwe. And what I heard was they’re evil enchanters that dance around their cauldrons to put ponies into trances before they… sacrifice them to their dark gods.”

Rarity snickered, then giggled, then laughed loudly enough it echoed in the small room. “Oh, darling, that’s priceless. It seems Pinkie’s little song still floats around out there… she didn’t tell you that about Zebra’s, did she?” Snickers shook his head. “Well, they’re little different than any pony; much in the same way you are from ponies.

“There are cultural differences, to be certain, but they’re certainly not sacrificing entranced creatures to various gods for nefarious purposes. Once you meet Zecora, you’re sure to like her as much as we did when we first actually met her and spent some time over tea having a nice talk between the lot of us.”

“Oh… um, okay then. I guess it was just a rumor then, and that’s good.”

“Indeed it is, now was your coat at least once. You needn’t do more than rub down with water since the girls at the spa will take care of all your other needs.” Rarity noticed him smirk just a little. “None of that until you’re older, young stallion; so put it out of your mind.”

Snickers coughed and sputtered water he’d inhaled. “Wh-what? They actually do… that stuff? Sex at the spa?”

Rarity was under the water and letting it tickle inside her ears. “Of course, it’s not a brothel by any means, but for a dozen bits a pony can have a little extra stress relief.” Rarity sighed quietly. “However for a stallion it’s practically free compared to a girl’s needs. Anyway, don’t worry about that until you’re a several months into being an adult producing seed for a lucky mare’s needs.”

Rarity giggled and blushed slightly. “Why, you may even have other patrons offering to help; I remember when I was younger and I talked Big Mac into coming to the spa. I had to help three other mares…” she opened her eyes and through the water cascading through the mane across her face, she saw the slack jawed water logged expression Snickers was giving her. “Ahem, I apologize for that.

“I tend to spend more time with other mares and I let slip some inappropriate talk that you shouldn’t have heard.”

Snickers blew air from his nose sending water misting away. “No, tell me about how you and three other mares got another stallion off in one of the rooms I’m going to be in. It’s a total normal thing to put into a kid’s mind that he might be lying on the same chair or table another stallion came all over.”

“Snickers, I apologized and I hope you understand that I mean it. Just, put it out of your mind and we’ll go on as though I said nothing.”

Snickers grumbled and ducked back under the water to further muffle his unhappy words until Rarity turned the water off. She helped him dry off until he was damp, then don his robe and they went to the hot tub first. Snickers took the time to swim from one end to the other with growing skill while Rarity let the hot water do its job and soothe her body.

Together, the two went through massages that focused on Snickers’s back and sides; Rarity made sure to take a moment to speak with her masseuse in whispers before Snickers was taken to the grooming room and left to have his coat brushed and hooves buffed. When his hooves were done but his left forehoof Rarity arrived and flopped onto the chair next to him.

“Well,” she said breathily, “how goes your grooming, my little prince?”

“Did you just… you know, in there?” he motioned with his head back the way she’d come from.

Rarity rolled her eyes and let the mare that had followed her start brushing her coat. “Everypony does it, I just had a little help this time. Oh, don’t give me that look. I had to tell you to wash your forelegs when you were done the first time, just wait until it gets messy.”

“Don’t make me think of that, it’s gonna be terrible, I can already tell.”

Rarity tittered. “Whyever would you think that?”

Snickers narrowed his eyes at her. “Three fillies want my foal already, mares are gonna be begging me to do stuff with them, I don’t know how long I’ll last either, so that’s a big problem. From what I hear, it’s not very impressive for the mares so that’s why stallions have to do so much more work… I mean, less than a minute? Really?!”

Rarity hushed him and noticed he was the center of attention. “Well, since you wish to bring it up; maybe I’m wrong, but isn’t the point of sex to reproduce? Fun is for mares to have, stallions just can’t keep up and that’s a sad truth.”

There were several quiet agreements from around the room.

“Bah, <bull shit>, I used to go for half an hour at the worst of times!” All the mares and the single stallion employee’s mouths dropped open, but Snickers didn’t notice. “I can’t believe everything’s so screwed up here,” he snapped and dropped his head to the pillow with his eyes closed.

A din of whispers turned to conversations about how long stallions tended to last with a minute and a half being the winner and belonging to a pregnant mare having her horn filed. “...but even then I had to be on top in that weird way that’s like sitting, and I had to stop every few seconds to keep him from finishing. But, I have our foal and we’re both happy.”

“Well, I’d love for a stallion to last long enough to let me do the things they write about in those romance books. Instead I have to use toys to get that release and, dammit, it’s never the same as the feeling of a stallion’s cock hitting my womb!”

“Madam, please watch your language. There’s a foal in the room, a colt at that.”

“I don’t care, he started it and clearly knows about sex from some books or something. I want to talk like a mare right now and I want to talk about feeling an orgasm with a real stallion in me, not some magical dildo or enchanted construct. The only time I’ve ever orgasmed with a real stallion was when I was eight and in my spring season.

“I was on my herbs and potions and had to take care of myself before I let the stallion mount me and give his three thrusts to finish us both off. It’s a travesty, is what it is.”

Rarity scoffed loudly enough to be heard. “Well, we can’t blame our ancestors, now can we? Being hunted like mice by hawks they only had a few seconds to do the deed, lest they be attacked by a lion or something.”

“That’s no excuse for now! Why don’t they make a potion so stallions can last longer?”

“Yeah, I agree.” “Me, too.” “I wanna cum with a stallion, not before or after.”

Snickers pressed his ears to his head and tried to shut the conversation out. Finally he whinnied and got the attention of the room. “Ladies, look… being a guy isn’t easy in the first place. For some reason, I’m treated like the last glass of water for a hundred leagues in a desert and I don’t get it.

“I’m actually tired of it, okay? I don’t want to take sides, but seriously,” he said loudly and his voice cracked, “I kinda get why guy wanna be done quick; with every mare hounding them for sex all the time it’s enough to make me wanna run to away and find some secret town without any girls at all.”

He flopped back down and pressed his ears to his head, ready for the arguing about sex to begin again. To his curiosity the sound of sniffling and crying reached him instead. He sat up and looked around the room, seven mares looked at him with tears running down their cheeks. Even the employees were looking at him sadly.

Once one started crying the rest began and only Rarity barely held back the sobs that racked her body like she was being jumped on from behind. The only other stallion in the room sulked out quickly and added to the wonder of what he had said to cause all this. Snickers opened his mouth but couldn’t think of anything to say, so he closed it.

Rarity got up and took the file from the floor the mare caring for him had dropped and set it on the chair. “Let’s go, I think you need to know a story and Cheerilee can tell it best of any of us.”

Snickers got up and walked out the short way to the lobby leaving the sad scene behind him, his own body showing the signs of sadness by the time they reentered the warm summer air. “Mom, what happened in there? Is it because I yelled, because I’m sorry if it was my fault. I’ll go back and say I’m sorry so you don’t get banned.”

Rarity hugged him with a foreleg. “Hush, my little prince, hush. Nothing is your fault… you just said something that reminded us all of a dark moment in our history and you clearly don’t know about it. What’s worse, is it seems it may be happening again,” she said dourly. “Come along, I believe she’s in the market and will be more than willing to help you learn a bit about pony history.”

***

Snickers sat in his room looking at the ceiling from his position leaning against his bed. Quick hoofsteps pattered down the hall closing in on his room and a striped maned colt entered his room. “Snickers, it is great to see you after such a long day; do you have anything you wish to play?”

Kiwe practically pranced past the glum colt and carefully slid his saddlebags off his body and turned to them. “My cousin it turns out live in the Everfree, it was she who gave these to me. I have a pestle and mortar, a book as well. I had a great day, it was truly swell. Had you been there you would have seen that my cousin, regardless of how distant, is quite keen.”

“Yeah, good for you,” Snickers said, looking back up to the ceiling.

Kiwe stopped unpacking and looked at Snickers. “Oh… are you okay? Please, tell me what is wrong and I will do what I can to make it better.”

Snickers clicked his tongue. “Do you know about the day of a thousand sorrows?”

“Yes, why do you ask? Ah, you have only just learned of it, haven’t you?”

Snickers nodded. “Yeah. I’m doing a shit job being a good pony to you on your second day here, aren’t I? I should be running around,” he gestured with a foreleg, “playing stuff and teaching you which filly smells the best, or whatever the shit.”

Kiwe’s voice was kind, but firm, “What you learned should not affect your attitude in such a way, if you do not wish to do so, then we do not have to play.”

“That’s not it, Kiwe,” Snickers practically snapped. “I fucked up again. Every damn week I can’t not fuck something up. I made a dozen mares cry because I said something that was a horrible even in pony history without knowing it. Now they all think I said it to hurt them and I bet they hate me and are telling everypony in town to stay away from me.”

“Must I slap you to bring you to your senses? What you are saying is foolish, Snickers, and you must stop.”

Snickers looked up and felt the crown of his head bump the bed. “Just punch me in the throat and save the world the trouble.”

Kiwe gasped and stepped back, looking at the exposed colt across the room from him. “I will never do such a thing without cause, and your feelings at the moment do not count. Shall I get your mother, because you speak of concerning things.”

“Why bother? She was there and took me to the teacher so she could tell me, now she knows I didn’t know and is probably telling everypony about me being ignorant of that too.”

Kiwe growled. “Stop this at once, my friend. I will not see you at your end, you will get on the bed and talk to me, or by Celestia I will kick your inner tree.”

Snickers slowly lowered his head to look at Kiwe. “My what?” Snickers looked at Kiwe and followed his line of sight down his underbelly. “Oh… fine.” Snickers lethargically turned around and climbed up the side of the mattress with ease, ever since Apple Bloom had shown him where to plant his hooves it wasn’t a problem. “Showoff.”

Kiwe hopped up without any trouble and landed on the bed with all four hooves by the time Snickers had gotten his last leg up. “You can do the same, I can teach you if you wish.”

Snickers raised an eyebrow ever so slightly and the corner of his mouth twitched into a fraction of a smile that Kiwe noticed. “Whatever.”

“Tell me, my brother, what bothers you so much you would ask for death over a comforting hug?"

Snickers lay his chin on his forelegs. “I used to be a lot older and experienced, but I always made little mistakes and got yelled at a lot. I would be punished in a lot of different ways, some worse than others, but in the end I was always told what I did wrong and how to fix it from happening again.

“Now that I’m here, I don’t know anything about anything that everyone else does. I keep making huge fuck ups and being told what I did wrong, but not how to fix them from happening again. Then I do something like it again and again, and I have to learn what I’m doing wrong by being the most messed up kid in the country.

“Before my birthday next spring, I think I’ll be banished from the whole planet and have to live on another planet at this rate.”

Kiwe couldn’t help but laugh. “That is a very good imagination you have, but here is what I feel will happen. You will get lots of hugs, candy, treats, and affection for what you’re feeling at this moment. You give not only yourself, but ponykind too little credit. I don’t say this to placate you, but as the truth.

“Every creature is more kind than you seem to believe, and even you are kinder than you feel you are. You helped me come into your home and accepted me right away, as though we were longtime friends or penpals. You introduced me to the fillies in your life that you care about most and I see your willingness to protect them to almost any extreme.

“You’re a good colt, you just have to believe you are and know that learning is part of growing up.”

Snickers sat up and blinked several times quickly. “Wow, you just overloaded my brain, I think. Are you sure you’re not an adult, that was really smart and stuff.”

Kiwe chuckled. “Nay, brother. Come, let us go and I shall introduce you to my distant cousin, Zecora. She will like to meet the colt that helped to save my future from one with such a shady past.”

“Woah, she’s here? Like, downstairs; right now?” Snickers asked, becoming apprehensive.

“Well, it would be most rude to have her wait outside to meet you.”

Kiwe hopped to the floor and was followed distantly by Snickers. “Are you sure she’s gonna be cool with meeting me?”

Kiwe looked back and his horn lit, grabbed Snickers by his collar, and pulled him to his side. “Walk with me and know no fear, for you are a friend I hold very dear.”

Snickers bristled at the feeling of his coat being rubbed by Kiwe’s, then it quickly turned to a relaxing sensation; just like when he was with his girls he was comforted in a way.

Snickers and Kiwe walked in step down the stairs and into the kitchen to meet Zecora.

“Ah, and who is this? You are Snickers, if I didn’t know any better. It is going to be cold soon, but don’t you like this weather?”

Snickers looked Zecora over and smirked. “You rhyme better than Kiwe,” he said, giving his friend a playful elbow to his ribs.

“As though you are one to talk, if you cannot do, then take a walk,” Kiwe stuck out his tongue to punctuate his comment.

“Hear me now, cousin of mine. There is more to life than speaking in rhyme. Climb the mightiest hill you will ever see, and find yourself alone because of what you said when you were as tall as my knee. There is a lesson to be had in everything you do, lest you lose a friend when you need one, or maybe two.”

Kiwe lowered his head in respect. “Yes, Zecora. I apologize for my offense, Snickers. I hope you forgive me.”

Snickers looked between the adult zebra and colt beside him, then to Rarity as she sipped some tea with a content smile. “Okay, sure. I forgive you for what you said… uh, let’s be friends and... break some bread.”

There were polite chuckles around him, but Snickers was proud he managed a rhyme, regardless. Zecora waved Snickers closer to herself and he waited. “Why do you hesitate friendly colt, is there something I said that makes me seem like a dolt?”

Zecora’s smile brought a smile to Snickers’s face. “Uh, no, it’s nothing like that. Um, Miss Zecora,” Snickers rubbed his right foreleg with his left and his ears lowered, “I’m sorry because I said something mean about you because I thought it was what I should have said, but it was really bad for me to have said it and… I understand if you find out and are upset, but I really am sorry.”

Zecora hummed a quiet laugh. “Do you mean when you spoke ill of me and my kind to the green mare with a lyre on her behind?” Snickers felt shocked, but nodded weakly. “She and I are friends for nearly a year, after I was accepted into town and given a pear,” she shrugged and looked at Rarity.

“Yes,” Rarity interjected, “it was quite odd, but Mayor Mare presented Zecora with a pear at the festivities. It turns out that Ivory Scroll, that’s the mayor’s name, if you were wondering, was put on the spot and grabbed the first thing she could when she was pulled from her office.”

Zecora laughed. “Yes, I recall that moment quite well. ‘And to welcome our new friend, a fruit that we do not sell.’”

Rarity joined in the laughter with Zecora. “Y-you see, ponies in Ponyville don’t sell pears on principal because of the Apple family and some falling out they had with pear farmers a generation back. Ivory has a taste for them and offered it as a gift because, ahem, ‘Like our new friend, we will not sell her short any more than we will sell pears in this town.’”

Snickers and Kiwe shared an unimpressed look while the mares enjoyed the laugh they had. “Oh, how good it is to laugh and be merry in such a way, I wish I could stay for the rest of the day. But, as it just happens to be there is a lot of work back at my home for me. Cousin Kiwe, before I go; is there anything else you would like to know?”

Kiwe tapped his chin. “I do not believe so, but I wish you could stay. Family is hard to come by with mine being so far away.”

Snickers moved aside when Zecora stood up and he had to crane his neck to see her since she was a few inches taller than Rarity. “I would like to stay and will come back as I must, but in Rarity’s hooves do you I entrust.”

Kiwe reared and stood on his hind legs to hug Zecora. “I will miss you with each rising sun and setting moon, may your spirit be pleasant and as calm as floating bamboo.”

“And may your travels be smooth and your belly full,” Zecora playfully swatted Kiwe’s rump, “and do not hesitate to find a nice girl.”

“C-cousin?!” Kiwe stumbled back and fell onto his flank. “I am not seeking a girl to love, I have more travels to make and must be free as a dove.”

“And even the most free bird must roost some day--”

“For me that time is far away,” Kiwe interrupted.

Zecora let out a loud belly laugh and moved swiftly to pick him up into a hug. “I will return in two days to check on you, stay safe, stay healthy, and stay true.”

Kiwe let out a choking sound and inhaled when Zecora relaxed her grip on him. “I shall, cousin. I will miss you, but it will not be very long with friends like Snickers by my side.”

Zecora smiled at the colts. “I must take my leave. Rarity, would you walk with me?”

“Certainly, darling. You two wait here for a moment, I need a mare’s minute with Zecora.”

Kiwe went to the fridge while Snickers sat where Zecora was sitting. He noticed it was warm still and smelled spicy and aromatic like tea he’d never sampled. Snickers blushed when he realized what he was smelling and debated running from the room or accepting the fact he really liked how Zecora smelled. It reminded him of his mother’s cooking in a comforting way.

Pans and pots clattered bringing Snickers back to reality in time to watch Kiwe hold two small pans in his foreleg while a pot rested on the frog of the hoof on the same foreleg. Kiwe moved without trouble and slid each onto its own burner and with a spark of magic the fires were lit. A knife began chopping vegetables, some oil dribbled from an oil flask into a pan, and water collected into a sphere that was carefully lowered into the pot.

“<Holy shit, he’s a fucking magic god of food,>” Snickers said watching the dance occuring around Snickers as it happeend.

“What was that, Snickers?” Rarity chided.

“Ah! Oh, nothing! I was just complimenting Kiwe under my breath, honest.”

Rarity hummed. “Yes, well… I heard that word again ‘<fuck>’, and that’s a bit in the jar.”

“Wha- but, mom! I didn’t say a single bad word just now!”

Rarity shook her head. “I know the game you’re playing because I did the same when I was learning basic Prench. You didn’t say a bad word because I didn’t understand it, or because it wasn’t in Ponish. But, you still said it and you were caught. So, please go put a bit in the jar.”

Snickers puffed his cheeks in frustration, then hopped to the floor and stomped to his saddlebags in the next room. The sound of a coin being added to an already stable pile grated on his nerves, so he added several more and felt better with each bit he added to the jar.

“Snickers, I said only one bit. There’s no paying for what you might say, young stallion.”

“I’m not, mom,” Snickers said after he dropped another bit into the jar and his mouth was free, “that’s for what bad words I’ve said over the past couple days. So now I’m even and you can buy me an ice cream when you break this open to repaint the boutique in a couple weeks.”

Rarity smirked. “A bit ambitious, aren’t we?”

“Nope, just expecting something to happen that’ll cost me all the donated bits I’ve earned from the Pony Launcher and I’ll swear so much that a mare might get pregnant from what I’ll end up saying.”

Rarity tugged his ear with her magic. “That’s not the way a stallion should talk about mares.”

Snickers wished he had active magic manipulation to do the same to her right then. “But mares talk about it, so that’s okay?”

Kiwe opened an eye to peek at the family’s bickering and smiled until his concentration waned and he lost some onion slices before they could make it into the sautee pan.

Author's Notes:

Okay, this got way outta control and it’s dialogue heavy. I didn’t realize it was past 9k words until just before I posted it, because I wanted to keep writing the events and I felt they were flowing nicely from the start to where I ended it.

Hope you enjoyed and comments = kindness.

Hiding little bits in plain sight

Kiwe and Snickers sat in Snickers’s room with Rarity standing in front of them. Rarity smiled weakly and cleared her throat. “Okay, my little prince, what I’m going to do is cast a spell on you. The spell is generally known as the want not-see not and is usually used on ponies when they reach their age of fertility. Now, it was suggested I cast it early and, while I’ve lamented doing just that, the reasoning is sound.”

“What’s it do?” Snickers asked.

“Well, because a pony can be easily aroused, the spell takes care of that. It basically affects your vision and senses to the opposite gender by dulling them so they’re not so… intense to your young minds.”

Snickers looked to Kiwe at his right and Sweetie sitting in the doorway, watching to see what happened for when she got the spell. “So, you’re just gonna magic my senses away? What if you do it wrong and I can’t taste anything until it wears off.”

Rarity laughed loudly and then covered her mouth with a forehoof and shook her head. “No, my darling little princie-wincey.”

Snickers glowered at Rarity. “Don’t call me that, mom.”

Rarity giggled at his comment, but moved on anyway. “Well, as I was saying; the spell only dulls the effects others have on you, not your actual senses. This spell includes three fail-safes and a cancel that even you can cast with the right words and focus of energy. Why, I think every adult in Ponyville has one, and several foals will be getting theirs next spring as well.

“Ah, yes; also, if you are uncomfortable with the spell, I have a dozen enchanted gems that I share with you. Each one lasts a constant month and has full effects of the other passive charms, so if you don’t use it while sleeping then you’ll have that many more hours to use a single gem. Isn’t that a fantastic spell? If only I’d thought of it sooner, I could sell them as well as my garments.”

Snickers raised his foreleg. “Mom? What’s this other effect you were talking about?”

Rarity’s cheeks tinged with a slight pinkish hue. “Well, it covers everypony’s reproductive orifices,” she said and then shot a glare at Snickers, “the mouth is not one of the classified places.”

Snickers snickered. “Darn, so close.”

“Hm, yes; let’s not even try to approach the topic you’re so fond for, lest you’ll be going to bed early. Okay, are you ready for the spell, or do you have any questions?”

Snickers looked to Kiwe and felt reassured from the nod his friend gave, then nodded to Rarity. Rarity waited a few seconds, just in case Snickers changed his mind, then she stood straight and inhaled deeply while complex thaumatic calculations ran through her head; ones she used every week since she was a new mare and had learned it from the school nurse, who was a close friend of the family’s.

‘One of the thing about small town life is everypony knows everypony somehow,’ Rarity mused in thought as the spell completed.

Snickers felt his knees shaking and moving under his own control was really difficult for him as he tried to back away from the glow sufficing his vision and filling his most popular five senses with an overwhelming sensation of kinesthesia. The light dimmed from Snickers’s eyes and he looked at Rarity.

“Well, darling? How do you feel, how does everything smell now?”

Snickers raised an eyebrow. “That’s the weirdest thing you-” he sniffed, then inhaled deeply with widening eyes. “Holy shit!” Snickers trotted around his room and sniffed like a dog at various places, huffing and snorting as he went and came across scents he didn’t notice until his snout was almost over them. “I can fucking smell like normal!

“Fuckin’ hot shit, this is amazing! Thanks, mom!” Snickers ran and leaped at Rarity, bumping her hard enough to stumble a step to the side as he tightly held her foreleg. He sniffed the air and his nose brought his muzzle to her coat, then he slowly inhaled and held his breath. “Mommy, you smell like happiness,” he said with the same breath, and them smiled.

Rarity’s heart melted and she stepped back so she could hug him with her other foreleg and pry him off her for a full hug that he deserved. “Oh, you’re so sweet and… just this once, I won’t have you put bits in the jar for swearing.”

Snickers hugged her back and basked in her warmth. “Yeah, I overpaid. I didn’t think this would be why I used some of it, though.”

Kiwe cleared his throat. “Perhaps we should see how he reacts to me, and if it goes quite well, then to your sister we should tell.”

Rarity kissed Snickers behind the ear and patted his withers to indicate an end to their affection. “Ah, yes, that does sound like a good idea. You do understand what may happen, right?” Kiwe nodded to Rarity’s question. “Very well… Snickers, would you mind smelling Kiwe?”

“Mom?! Okay, that’s the weirdest thing you’ve said all week.”

“Just smell him!” Sweetie shouted from just out of view, followed by an inaudible self deprecation. Sweetie walked into the room with her head low. “Sorry, everypony. I was spying ‘cause I was curious about why I had to wait and you all came in here together. I was worried somepony was in trouble.”

Rarity kindly tutted her sister and gave her a gentle hug. “You shouldn’t spy, but the door was wide open and the invitation didn’t exclude you; however, I should have given you the option to join us to learn about this. You saw what happened when he smelled me, right?”

“Well, I heard him say something and you were really sweet to him,” Sweetie admitted.

“Oh, well… Kiwe, should Snickers sample Sweetie Belle or you to experience his new senses?”

“Certainly me, I am more ready for the reaction it may have. Sweetie may yet be too attractive to his sense of smell and that is not something we can just see to tell.”

Rarity moved to stand a little more defensively between her sister and adopted son. “Very well; the point of smelling other ponies when the spell is first cast, Snickers, is to help train your brain to recognize those closest to you. When you are around the other fillies in your h… close group of friends, you should have these two with you.

“They can help control you when you get their scent and to prevent the other fillies or colts you meet and choose to make closer friendships with from coercing you into something you’re unwanting. Such as buying food from a market stand for a certain price, or sireing their foals.”

“Wow, mom! That’s a huge range of difference there!”

“Yes, and if you make friends with a stallion, he may use his close friendship with you to buy more food than you need. If you accept a mare as a friend and she doesn’t have a strong support system, she may leave her scent around you and where you enjoy one another’s company so you associate her with feeling safe or comfortable.

“It’s easier to be with a stallion that’s willing than it is to try to bribe him or just play to his baser instincts, after all.”

Snickers looked at Rarity, then Sweetie Belle, and the image of Scootaloo lying on her back where Kiwe was standing flashed in his mind. His body felt familiar feelings in certain places, so Snickers turned quickly to Kiwe and practically bounded to the colt. Snickers sniffed the air around Kiwe and leaned closer.

Kiwe leaned back a little from the encroaching colt. “Snickers, how do you feel?”

Snickers’s eye met Kiwe’s and the unicorn colt barely blocked the rising front kick Snickers had brought up. “Scootaloo’s mine, got it?”

Kiwe’s ear flicked and Snickers growled menacingly. Taking a step back, Snickers reared and balanced on his hind legs, moving his forelegs to his sides to maintain balance. Kiwe took a step back. “Brother, I have no wish to fight with you. If she’s willing, then she is yours and I hold no contest to your feelings to her.”

Snickers nickered and returned his four hooves to the carpeted floor. With a nicker, Snickers nodded and then stepped back gathering his senses again. “Wow… what the hell was that?” He asked, touching the side of his head.

“Common reaction among males, darling. Something about claiming mates and fighting for alpha rights; it’s actually something of a compliment you chose to confront and threaten to fight Kiwe over this filly you hold so dearly to your heart,” Rarity said wistfully.

Sweetie harumphed with a squeak. “It’s just Scootaloo, sis.”

Rarity’s expression fell. “Well, the future is still bright and your futures are still growing ahead of you. Snickers, would you mind doing this so I can get back to work and you three can play?”

Snickers rolled his eyes. “Sheesh, you’re more pushy than a filly with a bowling ball goin’ for the strike.” Snickers shook his head a little. “Too much time with Apple Bloom. Wait,” he stopped when Rarity moved to let him pass to smell her sister, “you owe me an apology, mom.”

“What? Why in the wide realm of Equestria should I apologize to you without good cause?”

“Because, the girls teased me and it’s your fault,” Snickers replied.

Sweetie whimpered and when Rarity looked back she knelt down to share the even with Rarity, both females glancing at Snickers every so often in the half minute it took for them to whisper.

Rarity stood up and flipped her mane. “Well, Sweetie Belle, I shan’t accuse him for having such marvelous taste in diction, however, I do believe he is owed one apology. So, to that, Snickers, I apologize for imprinting my vocabulary onto yours, darling.”

“Humph, fine, that’ll do for now, I suppose… see! I did it again,” Snickers pouted and stomped a forehoof on the floor cutely.

“Awe, you’re acting just like your mommy, aren’t you?” Rarity used her magic to pinch Snickers’s cheek and quickly released her spell when Snickers swatted at her magic, as though it would affect the spell.

“Quit it! I’m almost grown up, I’m not cute anymore. I’m rough and tough, okay?”

“Oh, look at you, affirming your dominance like a stallion already… hurry and finish so you can go play with your not-herd and friends.”

Snickers grumbled and passed Rarity and without waiting pressed his nose to Sweetie and inhaled deeply. Sweetie giggled and stepped back as Snickers pursued her. “Hey, quit it, Snickers! Your breath is hot.”

Snickers sat down and snorted. “There, now I got everypony and… woah… Sweetie smells really sweet and like,” Snickers hopped up and moved to Sweetie’s side and touched his to hers and nuzzled her. “Like I can be safe with her.”

Rarity touched her hooves to her chest. “Aww, that’s the sweetest reaction I could have hoped for. Now, for the final test…” Rarity had Snickers stay in place and had her sister stand beside her. Rarity whispered to Sweetie Belle and assured Sweetie of the safety of the last test. “Snickers, watch closely and no matter what, don’t look away until it’s over. Do you understand?”

“Kiwe,” Snickers asked, “is this gonna be okay?”

Kiwe nodded. “All will be fine as long as the spell worked as it should have, brother of mine.”

Snickers smiled at the colt and nodded. “Okay, I’m ready for whatever you’ve got for me. Hit me with your worst.” The girls turned around and at Rarity’s nod they flipped their tails aside. “Gah, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to see anything, I… wait,” he had averted his eyes and blocked the view with his forehoof, then dropped his hoof and looked again.

“Y-your lady bits… they’re gone?! What happened to them?” Snickers moved to Rarity in shock and without thinking reached to touch the blank white area her vulva was and, before she could stop him, his hoof passed through a veil and Rarity screamed, bucking back in reaction. Both hooves missed Snickers by a couple hairs.

She hopped forward and Kiwe fell over laughing at the scene. Rarity was blushing brighter by the split second with her eyes wide in embarrassment, surprise, fear, and shock. Snickers inhaled a breath he didn’t know he’d lost as he realized how close to returning to the hospital he just was.

Snickers looked at his hoof and noticed the shine it had gotten and realized where it had gone. “Ew! Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew! Gross, sick, I didn’t want anything to do with that place! Gross, mom! Why’d you let me do that?” He whined while crouching and doing his best to wipe his hoof off on the carpet.

Sweetie watched Snickers with her mouth agape. “Did you just poke my sister in her cat eye?”

“Sweetie Belle?!”

“What? That’s what it’s called!”

Kiwe guffawed and rolled over as the scene went on, a tear leaking from his eye.

Snickers whimpered at his hoof and then sniffed it. “Awe, that smell’s gonna be there for hours.”

“Snickers! How… how dare you put your hoof in my personal place without permission? No! Not without permission, ever! You shouldn’t have done… I should have…” Rarity lowered her tail and ears. “Oh, my. This is simply morifying, the worst possible moment of my life thus far. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that happening, I’ve never heard of such a horrid experience and now…”

“What was the point of that, mom?” Snickers said dejectedly.

Rarity looked at Snickers and took a deep breath. “Well, as you can see and notice, the spell covers the private areas of every pony and other creature that exposes themselves unwillingly. You should now know that it’s only an illusion to cover, not a removal, so please do not do that to anypony else.”

Rarity trotted to the door. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to wash some things out and return to work to destress as well as create a new dress. I’ll listen for your call if any of you need me, and please gather some water for Kiwe, if he is ever done laughing, that is.”

“Yes, mom.” “Yes, Rarity.”

Sweetie laid down when Rarity left and watched Kiwe as his laughter died down. Snickers rested a forehoof on Sweet’s back and leaned down. “Why do you call it the cat’s eye?”

Sweetie looked askance at Snickers. “Because it looks like one, duh.” She shook her head. “Colts.”

Snickers ignored that comment and followed Sweetie’s gaze with a sigh. “You should probably talk with him instead of hinting what you hope will happen.”

Sweetie’s ear flicked. “But, what if he tells me to go away and never bother him again?”

Snickers shrugged. “Then you do what he asks until he’s ready, isn’t that the right thing to do?”

“But,” Sweetie said as Kiwe rolled to his belly and wiped his eyes, “he’s everything I could ever want in a stallion, I don’t think I could handle rejection from him.”

“You’ll do fine as you’ve got the rest of us, right?”

Sweetie sighed in resignation. “Fine, you do got a point. And, you got the colt view on that stuff…”

“‘Have’ a point,” Snickers corrected, grinning at the filly.

“Ugh! Does Everypony have to be a dang dictionary?!” Sweetie Belle got up, shoved past Snickers, and stomped from the room. “Dumb boys and smarty pants friends and the cutest colt in the world just has to fall into my life and…” Sweetie trailed off as she went down the hall, grumbling to herself.

Kiwe bumped Snickers’ shoulder. “What is happening with Sweetie Belle, she seems somewhat unwell.”

Snickers chuckled. “Nice to see you back from <LoL> land. Have a nice trip?”

“What is this land you speak of, Snickers?”

Snickers mentally groaned, but smiled externally. “Something from where I’m from, not a big deal. Just means a place where you... laugh a lot, I guess would be the translation. <Shit, I’ve really gotta write this down in a…>” Snickers chuckled to himself while Kiwe listened attentively, “<dictionary. But for language.> Hey, Kiwe? What’s a dictionary for language called?”

“You mean a translation book? Do you need one to help with your other language to Ponish, or perhaps you wish to create one for your family and friends to understand your words?”

“Yeah, that one,” Snickers said, turning to the doorway and leading Kiwe downstairs. “So, it’s not late and we’ve got a couple hours until you have to cook. Do you have anything you wanna do?”

“I have no plans on what to do, perhaps there is something with Diamond Tiara; with a heart so true.”

Snickers smirked and then looked aside to meet Kiwe’s eyes. “You know she’s totally into mares, right? You have as much chance of getting her to love you as you do training a fly to pull a wagon.” Kiwe blushed and Snickers grinned. “I don’t think I’ve seen you blush before! You do like her, don’t you?”

Kiwe brushed Snickers’s pointing hoof away from his direction with a little magic. “Bah, I may not have a chance, but there does not need to be any romance. To see her in evening shade and smell her mane by the local glade, her eyes sparkle in my mind at night. If only I could tell her, I feel all would be alright.”

Snickers moved quickly to cover Kiwe’s mouth and looked around the showroom, listening intently for several seconds before Kiwe moved to push Snickers a step back. “Okay, I don’t think any filly heard that. Kiwe, do you realize how much trouble I’ve made for myself by just mumbling that kinda sappy crap?

“Be careful of stating your feelings, fillies have a sense of when it’s gonna happen and then walk in at the worst time to hear what you say, just when it can apply to them and their feelings. I swear, if my mane wasn’t silver then it’d be grey from all the sexual stress and tension I’ve been under, mostly because of misunderstandings.”

Kiwe thought it over and nodded as his mind unwrapped the knowledge he’d been given and laid it out. “Huh, you may be right. Rather than to start a fight, I should think before I speak and make sure what I say is right.”

“Exactly. So, what can ya tell me about Zecora? She’s a potion maker in the Everfree and she used to be vilified, but there’s gotta be more to her than that, right?”

Kiwe nodded and led Snickers to a cozy reading nook of Rarity’s. With some magic, Kiwe moved the recent romance novels aside while glancing at a couple and sharing the titles with Snickers. They snickered and sat side by side, then Kiwe began to tell what little he did know about Zecora.

“She was a mystic in Zebrabwe, a nomadic tribe was her home. She had visions of dire times to come, eventually she was shun. Having to leave her family and life behind, she traveled the nations with a blight on her mind. She eventually reached the Everfree and made her home out of a tree.

“There she plans and awaits for a creature to arrive that can change many of fates. This creature she told to me stands on two legs and as is a tall as a tree. His skin bares no fur and his mind in ever in a whir, his mind is torn between paths of three and the one it’s gifted is the most vexing to be.

“Torn between two lives or more, he will win many personal battles and finally within a war. No pony, zebra, donkey, or dragon knows of this beast; but when it sets its mind to something, it will succeed at the least. It has no home to return to and no home to call its own, the only thing Zecora has seen is that it seeks to atone.”

Snickers swallowed loudly. “Um, atone for what?”

Kiwe shrugged. “She did not say, only that it wishes to atone for a mistake that it made one day.”

Snickers rested his chin on his steepled forehooves. “Well, that doesn’t tell me anything about anything.”

Kiwe chuckled and bumped his friend’s shoulder with his own. “Such is the way of the nomadic zebra mystic, brother. They don’t have many answers, only riddles within their rhymes. My mother was the daughter of a mystic and betrothed to a warrior’s son. It helped her to learn to fight and defend herself from everyone. When she met my father in passing their hearts became one, and my mother left her home and family to begin a new one. She is a zebra, my father a pony; as a result I am a zony. I can fight, but I choose to defend. For fighting for its own sake is a fast way to meet one’s end.”

Snickers sat up and leaned against Kiwe. “It seems I can fight now, too. I have a little help when I need it, and it tends to teach me what I need to know when I need it. Like, I didn’t know how to swim until I almost drowned, then there I am, treading water in the hottub.”

Kiwe looked at Snickers flatly. “You nearly drown in a hottub?”

“Well, it felt like I was gonna,” Snickers answered with a weak grin. “Sure, mom was there and we were in the spa, and the water was only deep enough so my hind hooves could touch the floor with my snout out of the water, but it was scary at first.”

“...”

“Hey, I could’a drowned if nopony was around and I didn’t think about getting to the side.”

“And the odds of that happening?” Kiwe pressed with a growing smile.

“Anyway,” Snickers deflected, “do you know anything else about this vision, or whatever, Zecora had? Maybe a name or where they’re from?”

“I already said all I can, the only way you can get more information is to ask the mare herself. She said she’d return in a couple days, you should write a list.”

Snickers sighed. “Oh, yeah. I have to meet Twilight tomorrow. She’s the town know it all and magical prodidgery.”

“‘Prodigy’, you mean?”

“Yeah, that. Hmm… maybe I should think of what to ask Zecora,” Snickers said quietly to himself.

Author's Notes:

Eek, what will happen next?
Perhaps the Corona virus will appear and only Zebra limes can cure it?

Let me know how I'm doing with the whole rhyming schtick, I'm making it up as I go and even though it works in my head, doesn't mean it translates well to my readers.

Just Wanna Ask Zecora a Question

“Why am I doing this? This is dumb, stupid, what the fuck is wrong with you, Snicker? Go back, just… turn around and go back. Find the path and gallop the way you came from, nopony will know if you hurry and just say you went to the Clubhouse for a crayon.”

Snickers stumbled over a large exposed tree root, lost in the shadows and heavy detritus under the dense canopy of the Everfree. Having lost the past several minutes past, he continued in the direction he’d been pointed hours earlier by Kiwe and Rarity towards Zecora’s home. Glowing eyes tracked his movements and to his pony mind, everything was a predator hunting him.

His muscles trembled and his guts felt like they were vibrating as fear coursed through his veins with each heartbeat and step he took deeper into the haunted woods. “This is stupid, you’re a bably pony in a giant wolf’s den… you’re not a human or an apex anything, you don’t even have a knife, Snickers.

“Just go back, there’s no cutie mark going forward or answers that can’t wait two days,” he whimpered when a tree branch brushed his back, but he went on without heeding his own words. Having lost track of the path, time, and where he was; Snickers eventually stopped and looked around himself for the eighth time and chattered his teeth.

“Stupid colt, stupid,” he stomped his hoof into the ground with a soft crunch, “shouldn’t have, but you did. Why? Because of a dumb rhyme that might have had an answer about why I’m here beyond a second chance to do better. I can’t be lost, I just have to go back the way I came. Hoof prints, an obvious track, maybe I can smell my way back,” he postulated and started back the way he came.

Several minutes passed before he gave up. “This isn’t like in the holovids or books,” he lamented, “it’s too dark, I don’t have any tech, my prints aren’t deep enough to follow two paces in these soft leaves, and all I can smell is forest crap.” He kicked some leaves exposing dark rich soil.

“Fuck this place, I’m so fucked,” he flopped to his belly and whimpered. “No, can’t give up. There’s gonna be a bunch of ponies looking for me in no time, Mom’s gonna panic and send the whole town into the forest and I’ll be found in a couple hours. I didn’t go that far in, I’ve got little legs and can’t go as far.

“How long’s it been? An hour, maybe two of walking? At my size and,” he took several paces from a marked line in two counted seconds, “that distance, at the pace I kept through the brush puts me…” he scratched imaginary numbers into the ground to keep his place as he ran the math, “fuck… almost fortyseven-point-one square miles from home in a planar grid.

“They have no idea where I went because I acted on impulse; the only hint is the talk I had with Kiwe, and there’s little chance they’ll even listen to him at first, setting them all back hours by the time they direct the search to the forest. They won’t brave the forest at night because, unlike me, they’re not idiots that take crazy chances. That leaves my hope in the other Crusaders to find me, which is still a million in one chance because they have to get away from everypony, sneak into the forest, choose a path at random, travel for hours, and eventually run across me by pure luck.

“Heh, thus adding one pony in trouble to three making this even more dangerous for survival,” he resolved and moved to the nearest tree to gently slam his head against it. “What have I done?”

Snickers stood up and rubbed his mane clear, adjusted his shirt and sleeves, and picked a direction to begin walking. “It’s gotta be this way, I can feel it in my b-b-bones.”

He walked in his random path and prayed that he’d come out of the forest or find a path, a sentient creature, or some kind of salvation. Hours passed before he found a large tree with a hollow large enough for him to crawl into and scooted in backwards to hide from what may hunt after the sun had set.

His stomach ached and he cursed at himself for not snacking before he left or taking anything with him. Having to resort to baser needs, he bit some bark from the tree he was in and crunched it quietly behind closed lips into a pulp before swallowing. It tasted awful, bland, he could feel it roughly travelling down his throat, and it left a fetid taste in his mouth.

Bugs crawled across his back and under his shirt, but it was a small price to pay to stay hidden from one of the many beasts he’d heard of that made the Everfree home. Eventually he fell into a fitful rest with little actual sleep until he felt his internal clock tell him it was time to wake up. He looked outside the hollow and listened intently before he crawled out and shook himself twice.

He snapped his tail and roughed his mane to get as many crawlies from himself as he could. “Mom’s gonna be so mad when she sees how I look.” Snickers said and shook one last time for good measure before standing still and listening with swiveling ears for anything he could use to help himself.

He began walking again, unsure of where he was going and snacking on bland leaves as he passed them, enjoying the rare ones that actually tasted flavorful and picking some to savor later on his trek. He made his way over logs, around trees large enough to make into a home, and a pond full of stagnant water that housed several creatures below the surface he didn’t care enough to see.

Finally his ears twitched and his head lifted from being low in growing despair. “Water?” He asked himself and turned to the noise, stopping when he came across a babbling brook holding the greatest gift he could imagine. He fell to the bank and dipped his muzzle in the water, slurping and gulping his fill.

“Wow, I was thirstier than I knew,” he said mirthfully, lying on his side with a distended belly. “Now to get enough food that’s not gross or blah, and I’ll be fine until I’m rescued. They should find me in…” his eyes closed slowly. “Fuck me… stay in place, that was what I forgot. I added fuck knows how many miles to the search now.”

He groaned and burped. “And now I’m super lost, I’m getting an upset tummy, and…” his thoughts traveled to various fillies he accepted into his life as family and, dare he say, a herd. He sniffled. “I miss my herd and family, I want my mommy,” he sniffled loudly and sobbed quietly in the forest without any creature to hear him or care for him for miles in any direction.

…

Eventually Snickers recovered himself and chose to set up a small camp in place. He marked several trees with scratches from his once pristine hooves to mark a boundary and outside the boundary he selected a bunch of scraggly bushes as a latrine he promptly used. He undressed and stuffed his shirt into a hole in a dead tree and then went outside his perimeter to gather broken branches, twigs, and rocks to make a firepit.

“Okay, just like Rainbow showed me that time. That one time before she went camping to show off how awesome she was at starting a fire. It can’t be that hard, just roll a stick into another stick until it smokes and then blow on it to start a fire; easy.”

He set a circle of rocks and dug out more soil to make the pit, then cleared as much of the area as he could before he spent an hour building a tent of sticks in the firepit like Rainbow had done, practically effortlessly. He finally gave up and piled them in the center of the pit after they collapsed for the hundredth time and set his fire starter in place.

“Okay, last night was a bit chilly, tonight is gonna be as warm as snuggling with my girls on a cool night.”

He set to rolling the main stick he’d nibbled at until it was similar to the one Rainbow had used between his forehooves before realizing it wasn’t making enough distance. He switched to using his forelegs and after several minutes he dropped his starter with trembling legs. “C’mon! How can this be so hard? That’s what she said, but this isn’t the time for that,” he stated with a stomp, “there’s always time for that. No there isn’t.

“Yes, there is. C’mon, I’ve gotta get this fire going or I’ll be cold again. My shirt doesn’t do anything to keep most of my body warm, even with my resistance to cold. Ugh, fine, just act like you’re rubbing one off, that works like a charm.”

Snickers frowned at the stick, grabbed it between his hooves, and then began rolling it again without any luck. “Fuck this! How the hell does anypony start a fire with sticks? Give me a damn lighter or match, how about a fucking pulse rifle and some titanium alloy? That shit gives off heat for hours. Yeah, but how would you fire it? Tongue it. That’s how she likes it. Are you really gonna keep goin’ like that? Sure, I’m all you have again. Just like when you got here, you’re all alone, except for me.

“And who are you?”

Yourself. Herd creatures don’t do well alone, so I’m here to keep you company.

“Well, start this fire for me or fuck off and get some real ponies or anything to keep me company.”

Oh, you don’t want just anything to keep you company. Most things will do you no good in this forest. And as long as you’re here, so am I. I’m merely a figment of your imagination trying to stave off insanity, after all.

“Then come back when I’m going insane, I’ve gotta make some weapons and some place to sleep because I can’t just be lazy over a warm cozy fire when I don’t have one.”

Ask, and your wish is my command. Well, as long as it’s absolutely necassary, that is.

Snickers looked around the area and moved to gather leaves and sticks, branches and a convenient vine. He took them all back to the side of his fire pit and started to tear the vine into strings, then he made quick work to lash the strings and twigs to make a dense weave that he supported between two trees close enough together to not waste any space and keep the mesh several inches from the ground.

He repeated the process on a larger scale and found footholds to climb the same trees to tie the mesh above the first by a foot and a half. He stood back and smiled. “Well, that was pretty cool.”

Congrats, you made the base of a tree loft. I hope you understand that you’re still going to need to make your own defenses and find your own food.

Snickers waved a foreleg. “Whatever, I knew I could do this the whole time, I was just messing around and seeing what you knew about what I knew. As far as defenses, that’s easy. Sticks with pointy ends and I can break some rocks to make a knife, I can dig some traps with spikes in them and as far as food, I’m an herbivorous vegetarian, I can eat trees and shit.”

I’d recommend expanding your dietary options; you’re sapient and need more energy than leaves can provide now.

“And you’re not real, I can do fine with whatever I get until I get found and taken to an all I can eat hayburger buffet, sponsored by Mac ‘n Mares.”

Snickers gathered more leaves as shadows covered his temporary home, indicating the time of day being around noon, and started to cover the base of the first hammock he’d made as bedding before he laid on it and sighed happily. “Yeah, this’ll be over in a couple days and I’ll have learned an important lesson about a bunch of stuff.”

Snickers chuckled to himself and swayed a hind leg to start rocking slightly as he fell into a comfortable sleep after six hours of work he barely noticed himself doing. Snickers snorted awake and stretched his legs along the ground, then realized he wasn’t in his hammock. He looked above himself and groaned. “Must’a fallen. Great, gotta learn to hammock,” he said getting up and brushing his side and belly.

“Well,” he yawned loudly and stretched his hind legs one at a time with a shiver once done, “wow, that felt good. “Okay, so… huh,” he looked around his site and noticed how gloomy it was. “Great, must be close to sunset. A totally wasted fucking day and no fire yet. At least I have yummy, yummy… leaves.”

Snickers snacked on some of the leaves he’d gathered and then poked around the perimeter of his area finding large branches to kick over so he could snack on some bugs and more nutrient rich vegetation. “This is worse than interstellar rations,” he griped as he spit dirt from his lips. “At least the dirt in those was part of the meal bars, this crap is still raw.

“Fuck me, I’m bitching about quality of dirt,” he said dragging his hooves to the hammock and resting his head on it. “Day two, I’ll be fine. Just gotta stay put this time and everything’ll be fine. Fine, fine, fine.”

Yeah, fine and dandy like cotton candy.

“Why don’t you do something useful like point me in the direction home? Or bring me a pegasus to fly me to safety?”

You are safe… enough. And I can point you in any direction, are you sure you can walk in a straight line all the way there?

“Yes! I know how to walk straight, asshole.”

The voice chuckled. Well, do you recall dancing after a butterfly earlier? Because you lost the path doing that, and now here you are.

Snickers was silent, ruminating on the truth he was given. “It’s not my fault I’m a colt and I like to have fun and play.”

No, but it is your fault you chose to talk to a zebra without telling anypony where you were going and going to a place you only heard mentioned three times indirectly.

Snickers kicked detritus behind him and turned around. “You wanna make me feel like an idiot, you’re doing fine! I acted impulsively and got lost in the Ever-fucking-free forest trying to find answers why I’m here.

“You aren’t even real, why am I talking to you?” Snickers turned back to his hammock and climbed onto it.

Because if you don’t have me, you’ll go insane by day five. The voice laughed loudly in Snickers’s mind. And that’s not something you can easily recover from, even in this world. Embrace me, or choose not to. Either way, it’s your choice on what you do.

“Thanks a lot, I needed that like a need to bite my lip while eating supper.”

Silence reigned and Snickers sighed, basking in it for a few seconds until his ears shot up and he lay completely still. Yes, just noticed it, didn’t you? It’s quiet in the forest, and quiet isn’t a good thing. Something prowls nearby, perhaps something that would like to use your canon bones to pick it’s teeth once it’s consumed your mealy flesh.

“Shut up,” Snickers whispered under his breath. “Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!”

Just imagine a three headed monster with snakes for tails and electricity dancing between its teeth. A bite to paralyze, then each head grabs a different limb and pulls you apart, eating you alive. You head saved for last so you can hear your bones crunching in its maws and feel as they bite off your remaining legs and drool your own blood across your body.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.”

Then it’ll eviscerate you and slurp your innards like spaghetti until--

“Shut up! Shut the fuck up!” Snickers screamed and covered his ears with his forelegs. “Shut up you bastard! Shut up, shut up, shut up!”

“Excuse me!” A male voice shouted from behind Snickers and startled the colt from his hammock onto the ground with a thud. “You are yelling at yourself.”

Snickers scrambled to his hooves and cowered back from the shadow. “Wh-who are you? A-are you here to s-save me and t-take me home?”

A golden glow shone from the tip of a horn and the fire Snickers couldn’t start sparked to life, bathing the area in a warm orange glow. Snickers smiled at the stallion until he came into the light, and then Snickers’s smile fell. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Harmony stepped into the light and smiled at Snickers. “Is that any way to speak to the avatar of your being?”

“Fuck that, and you,” Snickers pointed at the stallion. “What you did last time was the best you’ve fucked with me, and now you’re just fucking with me again, aren’t you? This is some lame ass dream, isn’t it?”

“No, you are my representative; the same as Discorance and Order have theirs, I now have my own. I have chosen those you call kin to be mine, and I would appreciate it if you would take this seriously because I offer you a gift to aid you in your future plights.”

Snickers moved by the fire and sat down. “Yeah, whatever you’re offering; I don’t want it. Just send me home and let me live this life in peace and… I was gonna say ‘harmony’, but you can go fuck yourself and your brothers in some three-way gang bang for all I care.”

Harmony sighed and sat opposite Snickers at the fire. “Do you know why you are even here?”

“Because I wandered off into nowhere to find a zebra that might have answers for me.”

Harmony smirked and shook his head. “No, why you are on this planet. Why you live again in this magical world?”

“Because you wanted to mind fuck a new kind of pony?”

Harmony’s smile wavered. “You are more difficult than the others by leaps and bounds.”

Yes, he is not worth your time. Just send him on his way and wait for salvation.

Harmony’s eyes flashed yellow and from nowhere his brothers fell to the earth in a heap. “You have no place instigating my representative to act beyond his nature.”

Discorance and Order got to their hooves and stuck their tongues out at Harmony. “You interfere with our representatives, often.”

“You have six representatives, and now you seek more?”

“You are imbalance at its peak of hypocrisy.”

Harmony raised his forehooves to the fire. “Brothers, my six representatives now serve Order, as she believes to be serving me the best she can. The representatives share my name only, and Discorance has his avatar that we all know too well.”

“You turned him to stone with your power and focusi!” Discordance shouted.

“You used my representatives to use your focus to defeat him,” Order whinnied in fury.

“You brought our avatars to blows and watched as the land was set asunder,” Discorance and Order said together.

Snickers kicked dirt at Discorance and Order. “Fuck you both in your hemmorhoid loving assholes for all I care about the shit you’re talking about! You both spent the day fucking with me again?! I swear to god that if I get the chance, I’m gonna shove your heads up each other’s asses and make you cast fireball spells for an hour once I get stronger and older.”

Harmony laughed happily. “That is why I chose his kin,” he pointed at Snickers, “none of your choices have spirit like they do.” Harmony stood beside Discordance. “You and your ever so creative Discord, making mayhem and sewing panic.” He stood opposite Order and tutted. “You and your Sisters of the Sky, ever diligent and keeping things the same for years, decades, centuries without any change.

“And now, here comes something new,” he stood over Snickers and didn’t react when Snickers yelped and hopped from under the tall stallion that could move through space at will, “something to create true change to your Order and bring structure to your Discordance. No focuses, no sneakiness, no hiding,” Harmony gestured to Snickers. “Just potential.”

Snickers scratched his forehead as a burning, itching pain blossomed. “Fuck,” Snickers grunted as he felt a horn growing from his head until it was complete, “what...”

Harmony chuckled and turned his gaze from Snickers to his brothers. “You see, nothing will be out of reach for--”

“Get this off me or I’ll cut it off and shove it in your cock sheath!”

Harmony’s eyes widened and he looked back to the colt with a trickle of blood running from the base of his newly grown horn. “What?”

Snickers growled and walked towards Harmony. “I said got this off me and out of me, or I’ll duck under you and shove it in your tiny little cock sheath and use your blood as a lubricant to snap this off after I shove it in your ass!” He pointed in the area his horn now resided.

Harmony stepped back and looked at the rage in his chosen’s eyes. “What you have been given--”

“Is a fucking cop-out! I’m not going to have everything handed to me on a neutronium platter, and I’m not going back home explaining that some local versions of ‘God’ not only raped my brain with brain washing to make me ‘one of them’, but made me into some demi-god, just to shove magic light up bad guy asses in the name of ‘just because fuck reason and logic’,” he said in a mocking voice with air quotes and included body motions.

Harmony snorted and stood as tall as he could. “Listen to what you are saying, what you are--”

“That’s it, I warned you!” Snickers shouted and ran with his head lowered toward Harmony.

Harmony shrieked and backpedaled away from Snickers to his brother's delight. “Now you will know what it is like to be gelded, brother!”

“Or skinned from ring to sheath.” They shared loud laughter as Harmony ran away from a determined colt.

“Brothers, assist me!” Harmony called out as Snickers chased him around the campsite, truly intent on using his horn for its original natural purpose. “Fine, fine!” Harmony shouted and looked back to Snickers. He turned and reached out with a foreleg and slipped the horn off Snickers’s head with a squelch.

Snickers stumbled and caught himself before he fell, pressed his forehoof to the side of his head, and hissed. “Ou~ch.” He felt the greatest migraine of his existence beginning and through squinted eyes, he looked at Harmony holding his former horn. His eyes trailed down a long series of nervous nodes and clusters, some that glowed with a dimming golden light from the base of the horn into the forest floor.

“There, you ungrateful whelp,” Harmony stated and threw the horn to the ground before stomping on it, casting it into bright light before it was gone, “my gift to you is no more. Never again shall I offer it freely.”

Snickers felt his stomach twisting as he felt near vomiting. “Good, don’t want your cheat st-stick anyw-,” he bent his head down and vomited the meager snack he’d eaten earlier as three beings watched. “Ugh, still worth it,” Snickers said once he was done. He leaned against the tree; shivering and trembling while he slid to his haunches. “Won’t be your toy… not a plaything.”

Discorance and Order hummed and backed away into the shadow of a tree, vanishing from the plane of reality as Equus knew it. Harmony looked down at Snickers and snorted. “I hope I have not made a mistake choosing you.”

Snickers chuckled and retched. “Fuck you... if you did,”

Harmony sighed and conjured an orb of water from the stream. “Drink. I acted hastily and removed your focal point without preamble; your body is low on aetherial energy and the connections in your brain were already set. Had any lesser creature performed the action, you would be unable to use aetherial power and would lose most of your higher brain functions for the remainder of your life.”

Snickers sipped the water held beside him. “So, what? My little kid ass sh-should thank you for not killing me?”

“It is not that simple. Across all of time and space, none have ever turned a gift offered by one of us three away. It’s unprecedented and… I am unsure of what to do.”

Snickers coughed and whined at the pain rolling through his head and neck. “Do… do what feels right, you won’t be wrong as long as… as someone is made better by what you do.”

Harmony’s left ear flicked. “That is a wise statement.”

“Heh, my real... my real mom said it to me,” Snickers said weakly as his eyes drifted closed. “She was really smart, for a mom.” He chuckled quietly and then slumped against the tree, asleep and warm.

Harmony walked to Snickers and dispelled the water. “What am I to do with you? On your own you already have almost all you need to do your tasks and duties to their fullest. Perhaps,” he said, taking a step back and looking to the side at a creature hiding farther in the shadows, easily seen by Harmony’s eyes. “Perhaps there is something I can offer you that you will not so easily refuse.” He smirked and vanished in a spectral flash of light, leaving a large bowl of fruit and vegetables behind.

Bark is Gross

Snickers held the now empty bowl in his hooves, looking at the water he’d filled it with. His reflection rippled when he looked at it and then smirked. “Hey, how’ve you been? Lookin’ good,” he brought the bowl to his lips and sipped some water. “Well, that’s not bad; but I think you can kiss better than that.”

He giggled to himself and stepped away from the water source several paces, then he dumped the water over his head with a blubbering grumble. He rubbed his hooves through the mane on his head and around his ears. “Who needs a bath when I have an empty fruit bowl that I got after threatening the guy who apparently sent me here. At least it was yummy and healthy.

“I guess that means I’ll be rescued soon, since I only have a little food and need so much more than a bowl of fruit. And company, before I have real conversation with my reflection; not sure I won’t make out with myself though,” he laughed as he filled the bowl again and returned to the spot and washed his head while making sure to wet his neck for a cleaning.

He finished after four more bowlfull’s and several minutes later before he returned to the hammock and rested. “Best thing about this crap is every day is a lazy day…” Snickers grimaced as a small cramp lightly pinched his insides. “Ugh, except for the fact I need to survive by eating,” he rolled his eyes sardonically.

“Damned, stupid... DNA and carbon based life forms,” he grumbled getting up and dragging his hooves, “gotta consume energy to keep producing viable cells. Could’a gone RNA and silicone based, but no, the multiverse had to make DNA it’s prime example for life,” he smirked. “I miss that lunk head,” he said, picking up his hooves and trotting into the forested area past his little clearing and perceived safe haven.

He spent two hours going from his camp, out for a minute to scrounge for supplies, then back in every direction on a navigational mandala he’d trained with as a human youth until he was finally done. “That’s it, no more walking around. If anypony’s gonna find me, they’re gonna have to be smarter than my six year old butt.

“God, I hope to see seven,” he looked at the bowl he’d been gifted and sighed, “about two pounds of berries that didn’t make my lips tingle, some edible sticks and branches that I came across, and one rabbit I stomped on when it came to steal my berries. I guess starting with meat would be wisest.

“I have no idea what to do with it, though. Hey, ghost fucks?” Snickers shouted to the canopy, “Beam some of that ‘how to cook food’ shit into my brain like you did how to swim and build a little shelter.”

He looked at the rabbit and was somewhat pleased he stomped it’s head and not the center or had simply crippled it. He had a chance for a meal on the fire he’d barely kept alive, using wet sticks and old leaves made a lot of smoke, he quickly learned. It had raised his hopes for a moment until the forest created a breeze that scattered the smoke among the treetops, preventing him from creating a smoke signal for help.

He nudged the rabbit and looked at the canopy. “Well?” He asked again, softer. “Well, screw you too, then!”

He leaned down and bit the rabbit’s leg while placing a forehoof on it’s side before pulling and twisting, jerking his head every so often as the sound and feel of bones breaking and skin tearing rattled his senses. He fell back and gagged, spitting the brown fur from his mouth while rushing to the brook to slurp some water.

He swished his mouth backtracking to his wash area and spat it out with a final spit. “Fuck! Fucking… fuck! I can’t do anything out here,” he kicked some muddy earth against a tree and growled at it, fuming for a moment before he charged the marked tree and reared up, scratching at the bark and shouting incoherently.

“Gah! Fuck,” he shouted when pain sparked in his hoof. He landed with a yelp and felt his eyes watering, glared at the tree that seemed to mock him, then turned and gave the best buck three and a half hooves could afford him, regretting it when he couldn’t hold his weight as well as he thought and, while loosening several leaves, sent himself forward a body length and chin first into the dead leaves and against an exposed root he had been trying to avoid.

Sniffling, Snickers stood up and tried to put weight on his injured left forehoof. “Fu… damn it,” he whimpered and hobbled slowly back to the side of his fire and sat down. He looked against the tree he’d fallen asleep against the previous night and finally noticed a sharpened rock he’d intended to use as a knife.

Snickering at himself, he scooted close to it and picked it up with his lips. Carefully, he cleaned his hoof off from the muck and gunk of two days in the forest had gifted him with, then pouted. “I wanna my mom, Rarity. She’d know how to fix this,” he said looking at the crack in his hoof wall with a splinter sticking in his frog.

He leaned his foreleg against his hind leg for balance and bit the splinter to give it a tug and wash out the dirt when sharp pain shot through his hoof to his elbow. He yelped and snapped back, looking at the wood in his hoof before tears started to fall again. He lay on his side and cried, holding his injured hoof to his chest and whispering prayers for salvation in pony form.

The rest of the day, and the next, were spent scrounging for survival near his area that he was clearing just by being there. Three legs wasn’t the best for him and most of his energy was spent trying to pull things he could have simply bit and walked with. The dark dankness of the forest floor wasn’t helping his mood or mentality at all, either.

Add to that the scent of blood from the rabbit he’d butchered and no small critter would near him, because all critters could speak the same language if they ate nuts or seeds, not one would listen to him when he asked for help. They didn’t send word to a pony named Fluttershy, they didn’t bring him food or company, and by the fourth day, Snickers had begun to lose his pony mind to loneliness.

…

Standing in a new area designated as his latrine four steps to the left of the previous one he’d filled, Snickers groaned and pushed something more fibrous than anything he’d every excreted out of his body, thanks to the supplemental diet he’d been eating over the past days. Each day dragged into the next, each day brought the same primal terrors every few hours of the day and all night every night; as though something would creep around his area.

Sometimes he’d smell something that would put him on edge and send him leaping for the fire and throwing on more and more burnable things, even in the middle of the night. No time was safe as was the nature of true untamed nature. And he resisted the desire to pick a new direction and walk until he was found, he was smarter than that now.

Somepony would find him, any hour would be the hour of his salvation. None was looked to pass faster than the one he was currently ending, though.

“Grrrrk, c’mon, ah, ow, ow, ow… fuck, if this is what giving birth is like; then I’m -ow, ow, ow- gonna give flowers, prayers, and good wishes to every mare giving birth in Ponyville, then,” he felt his knees tremble as the end neared, “I’m gonna donate ten percent of my allowance to maternaty wards for the whole next… y-ear,” he nickered loudly and it turned into a whiney that echoed, and then sighed when he heard a wet thunk by his rear hooves and felt better than he had since his bowl of fruit wake up.

He reluctantly turned to look at his accomplishment with worry at any damage it might have done to his anus, and a sense of pride at a story he’d tell for the rest of his life… in the right conditions.

“Holy shit,” he said with wide eyes looking at what lay in the ground, “that’s gotta be as long as my elbow to hoof and weigh six pounds…” he estimated on the spot with a mix of emotions. He lifted his injured hoof, lashed heavily with string from vines to keep the crack sealed from getting any worse than he’d made it trying to ‘tough it out’, when the still warm log moved.

Snickers froze in place, staring at it and wondering if he was imagining it again. “No, not the first time I’ve had hallucinations here, won’t be the last; especially if I’m not res-” he stepped back when it moved again and expanded. “What… the…” he whispered and moved back on three legs another set of paces.

Snickers stared for a few more seconds before looking away. “Nope, just losing your fucking mind, Snickers. Don’t look at it, it’s just in your head and it was a big one so there’s no reason to,” he looked at it again and his stomach clenched and he retched into his mouth. He made eye contact with a newborn timber wolf and his anus clenched, the stinging didn’t rate on his what-the-fuck meter as the pup blinked it green eyes at him.

Snickers stumbled to the side and blinked hard to make sure he was seeing what his brain told him it was seeing, and when it was confirmed, Snickers felt his body starting the process of vomiting. “No,” he told himself, “gotta keep it together. This is a nightmare and maybe I’m getting fucked by a bear and this is my dream telling me that I’m full of shit for being so unbearable,” he chuckled and shook his head.

“No, fuck… just,” he noticed the pup crawling away and hesitated before choosing whether to follow it, or return to his camp and write it off as a huge dump combined with isolation making him delarious. He chose to follow the pup and sneered at what he saw. “Gross,” he said, watching the pup chewing some of his old, much more normally sized, horse apples.

The pup sniffed the air and looked back, the green in its eyes changing slightly to have a yellowish color tinted around the edges. It smiled as a canine made of wood could and yapped twice at Snickers before turning back to it’s endless buffet of offerings. Snickers moved to a tree and leaned against it, watching with awe at the life he’d created. “Damn, I’m gonna be so broke next year.”

…

Hours later, and after a poor excuse for a bath for Pup, Snickers sat by a tree at the edge of the fire’s light, unable to pull his timber wolf closer to the fire without it whining and beginning to fall apart. Snickers, never having seen or heard of the regenerative properties of the creatures, was terrified he was killing his pup and only source of companionship, so there they sat, cool in the cold forest in the protective light given off by one of the most wonderful and horrible things in existence; depending on who you ask, of course.

Holding the wolf between his forelegs, leaning over it like a careful parent, Snickers watched the fire dance and glanced down to see it sleeping with little twigs it had for ears twitching every so often.

“Okay Pup, how the hell did you come out of me? What am I gonna do with you? How can I explain you to anypony? What about a name? How long will you live? Are you gonna eat me? Is this how your kind reproduce, and once you’re out of me your pack shows up to reclaim you and feasts on me?” Snickers began to tremble as the fear of a new night began eating away at his senses.

“Do you just plop out of growed up ponies and they don’t talk about it because it’s embarrassing, or maybe they don’t know. Maybe I’m the first to stay around long enough because nopony else would check their shit for bragging rights… yeah, no. Last week, Diamond Tiara said she dropped a huge one after a wedding last year.

“She ate for almost the whole day because it was so good and she wanted to talk to this one filly but was too nervous, so she nervous ate. The fillies started talking about their biggest poops after that and I was glad they were in Sweetie’s room and I was in mine so I could shut the door and bury my head under my pillow until they came to ask me if I wanted to join in talking about personal stuff.”

Snickers looked down and met eyes with the pup. “You like that story?” He asked, getting no response besides a twiggy ear twitch. “Well, you’re a good listener and you’re gonna help time go by so much faster now for me. And I don’t need a latrine as badly with your… dietary needs, do I now?”

The pup lay back down and licked a green vine of a tongue against Snickers’ hind leg. “Hey, that tickles, don’t do that.” Snickers giggled and the wooden pup looked up curiously at him, as though to ask ‘what is that noise and what are you doing’? “Oh, don’t look at me like that; you’re good, just don’t lick me anymore.”

The pup cocked its head, it’s eyes blinking out and back on in a split second, then he barked and started panting. “Ugh,” Snickers gagged and turned his face, “that’s the most rotten stench I’ve ever smelled. What did you… oh, yeah,” he chuckled when he remembered the pups gorging on his droppings.

“Well, I’m gonna have to find a way to work with you to smell less horrible, darling. It’s simply atrocious; how you smell can dry wet paint, only for it to crack into dust.”

Snickers pet the pup and yelped with his mouth closed, getting its attention. It looked at the injured hoof curiously, as seemed to be its only consistent act at the moment. “Don’t worry, just a little ‘plinter, I’ll be fine when I’m rescued.” It looked at the hoof and sniffed at it, even thought Snickers kept it out of reach. “What, you wanna smell it? Check me over?”

Snickers lowered his foreleg and turned his hoof frog up so it could be sniffed to the pups content. Its vine tongue licked out quickly and passed over the splinter, like it was being tasted. “Ouchie, no! Bad, don’t bite the hoof that feeds you!”

Pup swallowed and let its tongue loll from its mouth as it began panting again; not a care in the world. “Why did I show a mutant turd dog my owie? What if I get some kinda poop-itis-otis...ondria that’s highly infectious, what would I do until I get rescued, or would I have to cut off my own foreleg to stop the infection?”

He whimpered and looked at his hoof, staring at where the splinter had been. Instead, now there was a divot an inch deep and tender to the open air. “Well, shit. That looks horrible,” he frowned and pointed his hoof at Pup. “Look what you did?! You might have cost me my--”

Pup leapt and bit Snickers’ hoof and held on while Snickers screamed and fell back, the sense of impending doom scrambled his senses and he leaned over to bite Pup on the back of his wooden leg. Pup yelped and whimpered, releasing his grip from Snickers and getting a firm kick off the colt into the tree they were leaning against, shattering into its component pieces.

Snickers crawled away towards the fire and curled beside it shivering. He leaned down to munch on dead leaves and spit them out. “Ugh, tastes like horse-shit… duh. Fuck! Wh-wh-what the f-f-fuck?” he asked himself and looked at his hoof, expecting blood and bitemarks. Still trembling from the adrenaline, Snickers stared at the thick amber sap unevenly spread across the underside of his hoof. It had packed his open wound and soaked the string holding his hoof crack together.

His eyes went to the area he’d shattered Pup and then back to his hoof. “Oh, no.” He got up and stepped closer to the remains on three legs, keeping the curious one off the ground. “Pup,” his heart ached as he looked at what could have been the animal, then his eyes darted around as he tried to identify anything that would, possibly, help him reconstruct his creation.

He felt his mouth go dry as he realized he may have to eat the detritus in the area and his bottom lip quivered. “Oh, Pup… I’m so sorry. I can’t eat you and go through that again, it just hurt too much to push you out,” he rubbed his fetlock under his eye to wipe a phantom tear, “I sound like some awful parent, but I just can’t go through it again with you, or ever.”

Snickers lowered his head and tears finally fell from his eyes. He rested his head against the trunk of the tree and wept quietly, quietly enough that he heard rustling under himself. He opened his eyes, fearful of a snake, or some other deadly creature that haunted his every night; instead, Snickers watched as Pup reformed before his eyes.

“Pup? Pup! You’re alive, and you don’t stink,” he hugged the timber wolf with his good foreleg and laughed loudly, somewhat deliriously, at the last minute in comparison with his overall time lost in the forest. “With luck like mine, I’m expecting a meteor to fall in the fire and set us both on fire. Fire, Pup; and we’ll burn the forest to the ground, then we’ll be found and get back to life like it was, only I’ll have you by my side.

“And I’ll teach you to eat not shit, and keep crazy scientists from taking you apart in some secret lab, and how to roll over! Oh,” he retook his place by the tree from before with a happy Pup lying beside him, “I’ve always wanted a quadrupedal pet. I heard of cats being pets back home, home, but most creatures don’t do too well off their home planet.

“What I got was a creature like you, only more meat and less twig,” Snickers chuckled shortly, “not that I’m saying your twig is anything to laugh at, bud. Shit, are you a girl or boy? Do you even have a gender, or will you get pregnant at all? How the fuck did you even get in me in the first place?

“Wait, I had a six legged pet! That’s what I was gonna say, yeah. It crapped every eight hours and six minutes as long as it ate something solid, and it ate leftovers that we didn’t want. It sucked, because when it was five I was nine Sol rev’s old, and we had to kill him to pay our rent and buy a month’s rations.

“They don’t have that here, Pup, but if I find out they do, then I’ll come back here and hide with you, as long as you’re with me, I’ll never be alone, right? I mean, you’re made of sticks, and other shit. You grow big enough and you can hunt for me, or maybe learn to smell leaves I can turn into a great salad.

“Mmm, salad with nuts, fish, an egg, red wine vinaigrette, Mom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom,” he licked his lips and leaned against the tree, “all of us eating and talking, with Silver Spoon eating like little miss perfect and Diamond Tiara eating like a little lady because Rarity’s with us. But, as soon as mom got up to check something, Diamond would throw a nut at one of the other fillies and start a small food fight.

“Heh, we’d all play dumb, but I know mom always knew. She’d ask one of us to clean up with her, that’s how I know. When it’s just the three of us, Mom’s name is Rarity, Sweetie is my aunt, even though she’s a bit older we’re not really family. You see, I’m adopted… kinda. It’s complicated, but that’s my family.

“Mom, Sweetie, and me. But, Sweetie’s actually just staying with us until next week, then she’s gonna spend some time with her real mom and dad. Oh! I just got a brother from another mother… wow, that’s fucking brilliant! I’ve gotta tell that to Kiwe, he’ll love it! Ha, I’m a genius, seriously, I am. No, seriously.”

Snickers lay at the edge of the fire light for another ten minutes rambling about his life to Pup, who seemed to care as much as any lesser intelligence creature would, before Snickers finally quieted and let the sounds of nature take over his baser instincts again. “Damn this place, I can feel the wrong here. But, it’s right, too. I want to be here, because it feels normal. I want to be out of this place because it feels normal out there,” he said to the sleeping timber wolf beside him.

He got up and picked up Pup in his injured foreleg, then slowly moved to the fireside and lay down with his back to the fire and his body shielding Pup from the flames.

“This… this is better,” Snickers quietly yawned and lay his head on his propped foreleg, “you’ll see, Pup. Once I get seriously injured, I’ll be saved. Fucking bad luck knows my username and vid number from a bathroom wall in ‘screw that guy’ land. Two days, tops, and I’ll be eating dinner through a straw in the swankiest hospital in Equestria.”

The fire danced besides Snickers while he thought of what was to come, then he picked up Pup and moved to the hammock, lay Pup under it and climbed up to sleep and recover from his day. “God, Celestia, Luna? Whoever’s up there, send me some help and something to stop my ass from itching, my baby gave me splinters,” he snickered and started laughing, startling the timber wolf awake and quieting some of the meeker denizens of the night.

…

Together, Snickers and Pup walked in as straight a line as they could from the campsite, keeping mind of where he was and making marks on trees as he passed with his short spear; made more efficient and deadly once he realized he could wrap the rock knife he’d made to the end.

Nearly half an hour passed, then Snickers looked around and shouted wordlessly for five seconds, Pup joining in with a high pitch howl to help. They turned back to the camp and when they had arrived, Snickers smiled at the two dead squirrels and single rabbit slowly roasting by the fire’s edge.

The smell was more than he could tolerate at once, and twice he nearly vomited from the strength of it, but it was protein and energy he wasn’t getting enough of eating bark, leaves, and whatever he could find under the layer of detritus for extra nourishment. The day he got Pup, he realized he could see his ribs in an unhealthy way, and that was what motivated him to start hunting.

Outside the campsite, it didn’t seem to be an issue with wildlife to cross his path as being seen as non-hostile and earlier that morning he’d taken advantage of it. Pup was an amazing hunter, in the way that it seemed to sense what Snickers was doing and hunkered down, watching from several pony body lengths away as Snickers prepared and struck the small morsels.

Even though Pup offered in his own way, Snickers carried the carcasses on his back as he walked happily, with a slight limp, back to camp to prepare.

Now, midday into his venture, Snickers sat with Pup lying at his side resting in the warm sunlight that radiated poorly through the canopy to them. Snickers poked the skin of the rabbit and what he could save from one of the squirrels as they lay draped over a low branch just long enough to hold them.

“Maybe I can make a hat and scarf, mom would be grossed out, though,” he looked himself over, “not that I’m any better,” he chuckled, “two days of scrubbing might make me presentable again, but my darling Pup, however will I manage you?”

Snickers pet the timber wolf. “You’re a pile of sticks, there’s not much for me to work with here. Why, when mother sees you she’ll have a heart attack,” he said with a flick of his forehoof through his rough mane, “I mean no offense, but the best thing about you is your eyes, lovely shades of yellow and green; I wonder what benefit they give you.”

Snickers looked back to the meat and sniffed again, taking in the powerful scent and letting his mind reflect to his life before, quickly banishing the images and focusing on his life as a pony. The fun, the fillies, the mares, his herd, the way they smelled and how they felt against his side when walking with him.

The feel of them holding him while they slept, Scootaloo’s affection for him and what she’d done with him that one night. The dream he’d had two nights prior where he and all the fillies of his herd lay by the lakeside alone and watched the moon reflect on its surface while sharing each other’s warmth.

The nuzzles, the kisses, the fact he’d woken up to the sound of Pup snoring; which didn’t make any more sense than a tree spirit literally falling out of his ass.

He felt cold air against his penis and sighed, bringing his forelegs to it. He began his slow ministrations while his pup slept beside him and meat cooked nearby.

Time passed as thoughts of what he’d do to Scootaloo, then he added Silver Spoon, then Diamond Tiara to take care of certain filly parts he couldn’t reach; he was nearing climax when his ear twitched slightly at something, a bird chirping too loudly.

Snickers sped up as it neared and he noticed Pup had woken up and was watching curiously. “Back up, I need this,” he said as he neared his peak and heard Pup whimper and scurry somewhere. He quietly nickered and his ears perked, turning back when he heard steps pounding the ground.

“Fuck, if I die, I’m going out… better! Grk,” he said as his body crossed its limit and sent a bolt of pleasure from the tip of his member to its base and then scattered throughout his body, all made mightier by the terror of being pounced upon and tackled by what felt like a log.

Pup stood on Snickers’s side and licked his face from jaw to muzzle with several laps and happy pants. “Damn… fucking… thing. Ruined a perfect… orgasm,” Snickers said breathing heavily after his workout.

“No! Get off him, you monster!” A mare Snickers knew too well shouted.

Reunion

“Rarity, do you smell that?” Lyra said while standing and looking in the direction she sniffed.

“Darling, all I smell is muck, grime, and the waste of a year’s worth of spa visits; can we dispense with the hyperbole, please?”

“Rarity, it’s meat,” Lyra said with a tail flick.

“Ugh, fantastic. Now a fire breathing monstrosity may be hunting some poor prey like us,” she sniffled, “and what of my darling little prince?”

“No, Rarity,” Lyra looked slightly behind her, “it’s cooking, like over a fire. It’s being cooked.”

Rarity’s eyes widened slowly. “So…”

“Let’s not get our hopes up, but it’s a chance for some good news, finally. C’mon and stay alert… you may be right about a monster, too.”

The mares quietly trekked toward the smell of meat while watching their steps and keeping their ears on a swivel for any noises beyond the creepy ones that always seemed to exist in the forest naturally.

They broke through a small bunch of bushes after a while and stopped. Lyra gasped and blushed, looking away quickly while Rarity watched in shock at so many things, mostly that Snickers was alive and a mere stones throw from her by a warm fire… pleasuring himself with his forelegs in a way she didn’t think was possible, for what little she knew about stallions in reality, anyway.

The colt mumbled something and Rarity realized she was invading a personal moment, but before she could admonish herself she saw fast movement from the shadow of a tree and it took the form of a small timberwolf. Snickers clearly peaked and made a coltish squeak just before he was tackled by the wolf and started talking to it in that strange language the colt spoke.

“No! Get off him, you monster!” Lyra screamed and blasted a golden beam of light from her horn into the spirit given form, shattering it in a long spray of wood and freeing him. Rarity wasted no time and lunged from the bushes and to Snickers, wrapping him in a hug. “Hurry, Rarity, there might be more.”

Rarity hugged Snickers to her chest and didn’t say anything to the poke in the belly she got from his receding excitement. “Oh… my little prince, my darling boy. I can’t believe I’ve found you at long last,” she broke a wall she’d set up days before that masked her worries and fear behind determination and strength of will; she cried like she’d never cried before and when Snickers hugged her back she lost herself to maternal instincts she didn’t know she had.

She nuzzled him and got up, sniffing him in several places along his mane, neck, and back before snorting hot air across his face and standing over him. “Stay with mommy, darling; we shan’t let any harm come to you again.”

Snickers stepped from under her and stayed touching her. “Mommy? Are you really here? Y-you’re real, right? If this is some kind of di… hila… hume…”

“Darling, I am many things, but a hallucination is not one of them,” she giggled and sniffled.

Snickers’s eyes were running already, but hearing her brought several more drops to the mix and he hugged her again. “Mommy… I wanna go home with you.”

Rarity hugged him tighter. “We will, my little prince. And we’ve got a lot to go over when we get back, but we can cover that later; right now, I have to ask how you survived so long with timber wolves stalking you and other beasts certainly trying to hunt you.”

“And how great it is you made such a nice camp,” Lyra added to keep the mood somewhat positive. She shared a pointed look with Rarity while Snickers was still blinded by white chest fluff.

Snickers inhaled sharply and backed up. “Mom, Pup! You broke her,” he said, blinking his eyes clear. Lyra’s horn stopped glowing and her attention was on the colt. “He… it’s my timber wolf, he would never hurt me because we love each other and you just blasted her, and that was cool as hell with a pew and boom... he’ll be back in a little bit with new parts; you gotta see him run, he doesn’t get tired from what I see, but I learned my lesson and I stayed put, after the first time I didn’t.

“But, I remembered and then stayed here and I got a horn from Harmony and then he took it away because I told him to, and then I got this cool bowl,” Snickers turned and ran back into the camp area and brought the bowl from its perch on a small swing. “See, it got bugs in it one night, so I made it its own little bed and it likes it when I swing it like this,” he put the bowl up and gave it a gentle push, “and this is my bed.

“This is the water I drank from, this is my latrine, but it doesn’t get much use since Pup came into my life, and this is my spear I made myself,” he beamed with pride, “and over there is where I hurt my hoof, but look!”

Rarity watched, holding back more sobs as she watched Snickers run around his camp and tell about his experiences and what had happened to him over the past several days. It was deeply comforting that Lyra was with her as Rarity couldn’t have searched for another day before she collapsed from exhaustion. Rarity looked at his healed hoof and still managed a weak smile when she learned this wolf he now cared for had sealed his wound with compacted tree sap.

Snickers turned to both mares and smiled thankfully. “Thanks, thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you for everything. Thank you for finding me, I can’t wait to get home and hug my fillies and be back with my herd.”

“Oh, so now they’re your herd again?” Rarity teased and exhaled when he ran and hugged her again.

He nodded fervently against her chest, noting the smell of her and several other things he didn’t want to identify at the moment, but some reminded him of home. “I love them, I need them to take care of me, I can’t do this again and shouldn’t have left like I did, but if I had one of my fillies with me, it wouldn’t have been this bad.

“Where am I? Where’s help? Mom?! You’re not lost here with me now, are you? I have a little food I can share, but you gotta help me get more to do your share. Pup can’t, but it’s only a baby; a couple days old, so that’s okay. He eats poop, as I stated, and if it were up to me, he wouldn’t have to do such a nasty thing.

“Perhaps we can find compost, I was thinking, that would make a much better substitute. Fertilizer will most likely make him grow, however how much and how fast is beyond me; perhaps Applejack… knows, what? Why are you looking at me like that, mommy?”

Snickers noticed Rarity staring at him with a growing smile. “Oh, my little princey-wincey is speaking like his mommy-wommy does, isn’t that just precious? When we return to Ponyville we must visit the spa straight away and I’ll pay for the premium package and for Aloe and Lotus to stay late, if I must, to clean every nook and cranny of both our bodies.

“Oh, listen to me, prattling on when you have so much left to tell me about your experience!”

Snickers nuzzled Rarity and hugged her again. “Later, you feel too good to let go. Just wanna be with you until we get outta this forest.”

“Ah, that does bring up one question that needs clarifying. Why, praytell, did you choose to spirit off into this horrid forest after sunset without aid, friends, or any supplies? It wasn’t because I had done something, was it?”

“No! I… was being stupid and wanted to ask Zeborma a question about… something,” he fell silent during which time Rarity corrected him on the actual name. “Yeah, I forgot what I was gonna ask her because I’m a dumbass,” he snerked and pulled her tighter to himself. “Heh, you’re lucky you didn’t show up fifteen seconds earlier,” she said.

“Oh, I actually had and was waiting for an opportune moment to announce myself; you seemed like you needed it and I didn’t watch, but I couldn’t not listen and… well, you’re quite good at that and you’ll certainly make two of your fillies quite happy next spring, should you choose to help them. With some supervision, of course.”

Snickers was slack jawed. “Y-you watched? M-mom!” She leaned back to look down at his blushing face. “I’m simply mortified right now, mother.”

Rarity tutted him and patted his back. “It was only the end and I wasn’t going to watch you finish, but then I saw your wolf-pet-thing attack you and I reacted as a responsible adult should. And, how have you come to possess a timber wolf as a pet, darling?”

Snickers stiffened and shook his head. “Later, I don’t feel like sharing the story right now. Do you have any food?”

“Oh, darling… I’ve been grazing the past day and if it wasn’t for you cooking we would surely have had to return home and fought to search again tomorrow. Most of the town is up in arms looking for you across the area; some have even written letters to their families and friends outside the area asking to keep an eye out for you.

“Darling Fluttershy said she heard from a few animals that a colt had gone into the woods and rumors were flitting about them about a dangerous pony somewhere in the forest,” she chuckled, “and I knew it was you. I never lost hope I’d find you alive and well enough,” he let her forehoof trail to his side and felt the fat he’d lost.

She inhaled deeply and hugged him tighter. "Mom, too tight."

"Oh, sorry darling. You've lost weight and I'm concerned about that, too. Oh, my little prince…"

Lyra glanced up at the canopy and lit her horn, sending a pulse of golden magic into the sky that exploded with a loud bang and shower of light; the area fell silent for several seconds before birds started chirping again and life sounds returned. “They’ll be here shortly, stay near me; I have some combat experience.”

Snickers moved from under Rarity again and was held back by her magic. “Mom, Pup, she’s my friend and I have to be here when she comes back. She’s a good puppy and won’t hurt you, I promise.”

The mares looked at one another curiously. “Huh, Rarity, I think he may be stir crazy.”

“I’m not crazy!” Snickers shouted. “I pooped a timberwolf and he’s been eating my poop and keeping me company since my third day out here… okay, that sounds kinda crazy,” he admitted, “but it’s true and he’s my best friend since I was alone, and I can’t leave him here because he’d be all alone without me.”

Rarity squatted and used her forelegs to pull him to her so his back was against her chest. “Look at this place, Snickers, there’s nothing friendly in here. Whatever you may think has happened, I’m sure was a trick of some sort to keep you here or to prepare you for the rest of it’s pack.

“Timberwolves are not known for their kindness or loving nature, so it would be best if we left this one to its others and didn’t look back.”

Snickers glared up at Rarity’s parental smile that said ‘I know more than you, so drop it’. “No, when he comes back I’m taking him with me or… or I’ll just come back here and find him again, even if I get more lost.”

Lyra stomped her hoof in frustration. “Colts, seriously, can they ever just be sensible like a mare, just once?”

“Hey, cram it in your cunt with a candy cane,” Snickers snapped, “it’s my puppy and I’m taking it home and we’re gonna be best friends with everypony! Even if it is scary to them, it’s everything to me.”

Rarity growled quietly. “Fine, however, if you wish to have that… thing, then know that the first time it makes a single step out of line I’ll be the first to take a match to it and say good riddance!”

Snickers glowered at Rarity. “Do that and I’ll put his ashes in your tea when you’re not expecting it, or maybe in your shampoo.”

“You…” Rarity closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Snickers, come and give me a hug, I think we’re just emotional and acting rashly based on that, not what really is at hoof.”

Snickers sighed and moved to Rarity, hugging her again and sighing as stress melted from his entire being. He inhaled her scent and relaxed into her embrace, feeling comfort for the first time in days; safe and secure as well.

“Awe, that’s more like it,” Lyra said walking to the stirring sticks that rolled together into the timberwolf. “Are you sure you don’t want me to blast it again?”

“No!” Snickers turned his head and pouted at Lyra, striking her in her maternal heart and wrecking her defenses with a single shimmer in his eyes.

Lyra’s heart felt like it melted and the colt could ask for anything in the world and she’d do whatever it took to give it to him in that moment of weakness. She averted her gaze, but the damage was done and she let the wolf reform into its shape, then watched as it yelped and ran to Snickers, hiding under his silver tail.

“Well, I was not expecting that,” Lyra said. Rarity nodded in agreement. “Well, maybe there’s more to this than we thought.”

“Hm, quite. However, my statement stands and I won’t risk my little prince, family, or any pony in town for this creature.”

“Mom, Pup eats poop, I don’t think ponies are on the menu,” he giggled and let her go to pick up Pup. “Mom, this is Pup. Its name is just for now, but I think my girls can think of something more fitting once we get together.”

Rarity grimaced when the puppy looked at her with green eyes. “Hm, it has lovely eyes… but does it really eat,” she thought of a tactful word, “excrement?”

“Yeah, cleaned up the whole area and grew a little, too. Only problem is she smells like fertilizer most of the time. Maybe when she gets bigger she can eat something else, I mean she’s a plant so she has to have more than poop and water, right?”

Lyra nodded. “Sunlight, good music, nutrients, water. That’s what a typical plant eats, so maybe that’s all it needs and all this time we were wrong about the species,” she tapped her hoof on the ground. “I think Twilight is going to have a lot of questions for you and have some tests to run,” she smirked.

Snickers held the wary puppy to his chest. “No, I won’t let her take him apart for science or anything.”

“Sport!” Rainbow Dash’s voice called from above and landed with a thump beside him. “It’s so great to see you! You’ve gotta tell me all about- holy shit; that’s a timberwolf!”

“Rainbow Dash! You should know better than to encourage his crass language, especially now… by the way, young stallion,” Rarity took a stern parental tone, “you owe Lyra an apology for what you said to her a moment ago.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Whatever, the cart’s on its way so you wait here while I guide them down.”

Snickers sighed. “Miss Lyra, I’m sorry I said that mean stuff to you; I was upset and didn’t mean it, even though I said it.”

Lyra nodded. “I accept your apology and would like you to know that my girlfriend might be interested in the idea, so thanks.”

Snickers grimaced, Lyra winked her eye, and Rarity looked at the mare with a flat expression. “Really, Lyra? I expected more from you.”

“Hey, the kid talks like a mare, he’s gonna get treated like one.”

“Hey, who’s a good boy?” Snickers said rubbing the small reformed wolf on its back. “Yes, you are. Pup, this is my mom. Her name is Rarity, just like I told you; do you remember that?”

Pup looked at Snickers and then at Rarity, who was standing tall and strong with a spell ready to cast, even if it was only a small push like before or to grab the creature and throw it away in the hopes they could run to safety before it called for help. Pup’s twig ears moved up and it’s green vine tongue lolled from its mouth.

Pup wasn’t very old, but it knew that its name was Pup. Alpha’s name was Snickers, and Alpha liked to talk a lot about things that Pup couldn’t understand yet. Rarity was certainly Alpha’s soft parent, and was clearly Alpha’s Alpha and that Pup should do everything to keep Alpha’s Alpha, Rarity, pleased.

It didn’t hurt too much to be broken, but it was tiring; part of Pup knew that being broken too much would make it too tired to make a new body for a long time and Alpha Snickers might leave Pup alone in the woods without an Alpha; the only Alpha it had ever known, the Alpha that helped it arrive in physical form from the forest.

Pup yipped and hopped towards Rarity, fell to its side and rolled over, then whimpered in complete submission. Rarity blinked and relaxed somewhat. “Well, that was quite unexpected.”

Snickers nodded. “Yes, mother; it seems manners to a true Lady are universal.”

Rarity smiled and stepped towards Snickers, then was reminded of Pup. “Oh, up, you mongrel! Snickers, you have a lot of explaining to do about… this,” she waved at Pup as it ran to Snickers and hid behind him again. “Oh, he has your eye color, it seems,” Rarity commented.

“Yeah, he’s got a lot of me in him,” Snickers chuckled and it turned into another somewhat manic laugh as he pulled Pup to his underbelly, “I pooped him out, I still can’t believe it. It hurt like I was shoving a pinecone in there; but, I don’t care, because I have Pup and I won’t let Harmony or his freaky brothers bother me again,” Snickers said smiling awkwardly at Rarity.

“Mom, I got a horn! Can you believe it? Right on my head, like yours and it was really neat to feel magic in me like that,” Snickers said with another laugh, more ruefully though. Rarity looked at his head and then met his eyes.

“Snickers… how long were you truly alone out here? Without Pup or the Spirits?” Rarity asked.

“Doesn’t matter, I have everypony back now. I’ll be home soon and me and Pup can have a real bath and I can scrub my whole body, and hug my fillies, and… Kiwe! I forgot about him, I was so alone and forgot about him. He’s not mad at me for leaving, is he?”

“What, certainly not. Now, come here, my little prince, and bring your… euck, pet. I’m sure the chariot will arrive soon and shortly after we return to the boutique someponies have some things to talk to you about.”

Snickers slouched. “Oh, the people that gave me to you, right?” Rarity nodded. “I’m not gonna be sent away, am I?”

Rarity sniffled and whined quietly. “I hope not, but I do not see why they would; you’re doing so much better now than you were and you have built a growing life for yourself here. No matter, come along and sit by me while we wait… and keep Pup far from me, he may represent many things against pony nature, but he also reeks of his meals you’ve been giving him.”

Snickers laughed warmly and moved to sit beside Rarity, resting his head on her leg and keeping Pup to his other side. “Mom, I’m sorry I wandered off alone and I’ll never do it again. I promise to Pinkie, Celestia, Luna… hell, even this tree right here,” he pointed at the tree he’d spent so much time leaning against during the day and shared the edge of the firelight with Pup with the night before.

A shadow passed over the canopy and Rainbow descended. “Okay, they can’t and won’t land, so I’ll have to carry you all up one at a time. Snickers, you’re up first,” she hovered near him and frowned. “That thing isn’t gonna bite me, is it?”

Snickers nuzzled Pup. “Nope, as long as you don’t hurt Pup, Pup won’t hurt you, and if he does I’ll break his ear off as punishment.”

“Wow, you’d do that? Won’t it hurt him?” Lyra asked.

“Nah, he comes back from anything… as long as I hang onto the twigs, that is.” Pup turned his wooden head and his green vine tongue struck out to lick across Snickers’ face leaving a line of watery sap in its wake. “Ha, don’t, Pup. We’ll be home in no time and you can get my herd all sappy, Scootaloo loves sap,” he snickered and Rarity’s eyes widened.

“Ohh, my little princy-wincy is still in a herd and in love,” she brought a hoof to her chest and whimpered when the rough hoof she’d worn down brushed her coat. “Oh, my poor everything. Once everything is said and done, we’re going straight to the spa, young stallion, and you’re going to shine like the alpha stallion you are.”

Snickers rolled his eyes. “Rainbow, can you just take me away from this place?”

Rainbow flew behind him and carefully picked him up, avoiding the wolf to the best of her ability as she brought them to the medical carriage with a red cross waiting for him. A nurse was waiting in an open door; when Rainbow deposited him, the nurse screamed in fright at the extra passenger.

***

Snickers frowned again, the sixth time in half as many minutes as another nurse entered the room to scan him, check him, ask him a question, or condescend to him. “Mom, when I can go home? I hate being in the hospital.”

A green nurse snorted. “Then stop doing dumb things to wind up here and you won’t have to see us but once a year.”

Snickers grumbled profanities under his breath while the same nurse lowered the blanket and rolled him to the side. “Awe, again? Do you really think my temp has changed in the last five minutes?”

“Not really,” the nurse replied as she inserted the thermometer into his rectum, “but the Everfree is known for dangerous parasites, so until the lab work comes back; we have to check everything.”

“Mom,” Snickers whined, “where’d they take Pup?”

“I already told you,” Rarity said, sitting by the window and watching the staff work, “I haven’t a clue. I assure you he is in good hooves, Twilight is currently caring for it and won’t let any harm befall Pup. I made sure to tell Rainbow to convey exactly that.”

Snickers sighed and let his mind wander over the previous week and how dangerous, boring, and relaxing it had been. Most of all, he realized, was that he was so lonely he was glad he went through what he did to have Pup enter his life before he went past the point where he’d have abandoned his camp and wandered away, most likely deeper into the forest and to his very death by any means, none pleasant.

Minutes passed and the nurses came fewer and fewer until only one stallion, a nurse’s aid, remained to watch over him while he ate the provided small portion of food he was given. “I’m still hungry,” he complained when he’d finished his jelly of dubious flavor, “can I have seconds, or thirds if this is the portion size?”

Rarity looked to the aid to answer. The stallion shook his head, “No, I’m sorry to say. You have to eat small and be worked back up to larger portions or you could have tummy aches.”

Snickers looked at his belly under the rolling dining table and then back to the food. He licked the last vegetables up and took the juice box in his hooves before he leaned back and sipped. “This is good stuff, compared to the crap I had to eat and graze on out there,” he gestured to the where the forest was since his window overlooked the town of Ponyville.

“Yes, well there won’t be any grazing ever again, if I have anything to say about it. My little prince is better than such an uncouth act and I’ll personally make sure he’s always fed and cared for for as long as I live.” Rarity claimed and was sitting tall and proud by the end of her speech.

“Yeah?” Snickers snarked. “Then won’t I be super fat because I won’t ever have a chance to have an empty stomach and I’ll end up dying from some food related disease in ten years and--”

Rarity covered her ears. “No, please don’t start.” She replaced her hooves on the floor. “You know full well what I meant, as well as how you should understand that joking of your own demise at a time such as this is… just tasteless and hurtful.”

Snickers pouted despite himself; the thought of hurting anypony wasn’t what he wanted, but he stayed quiet and finished his juice quickly. “I’m done,” he said softly and scooted down to rest in his bed properly.

Rarity stayed silent and finally pulled a magazine she’d grabbed when they had entered the hospital to start reading. “Oh, I don’t know if you know this yet, but I signed you up for a subscription to FoalFun and it should begin arriving next Monday, as a treat for you.”

Snickers sat up and grinned. “Really? Awesome! Thanks, mom! I’d hug you, but I can’t get out of bed for a while and with all these needles in me,” he lifted his injured and de-sapped foreleg.

“Not a problem, I’ll go to you,” Rarity offered and gave him a nice hug. “There we are, now we just have to wait for the doctor to let you out so we can go home and you can see your,” she giggled into her hoof, “herd again.”

“Mo~m,” he replied, blushing slightly.

Welcome Home, and is that a.. eek!

“Humph,” Snickers grunted as he walked past the nurse waving him past her out of the door of the hospital and into the world, a world full of nature, life, and a party cannon inches from his muzzle.

He had his nose up and eyes closed walking past the nurse, then bumped into something that opened his eyes. He blinked and pleaded for what he was looking at to be an illusion or dream. A grinning pink mare looked down at him and held a rope that was lost to the barrel of the cannon. “Surprise!”

Pinkie yanked the rope and, point blank, a shower of confetti and stream of streamers blasted past Snickers and coated his mane, shirt, and most of his body with mess. His ears rang from the boom so he didn’t hear Rarity scream and start shouting at Pinkie for messing up his style that she’d spent an hour preparing him to show off at the party, which was supposed to be a surprise party back at the boutique.

“Snickers,” Rarity waved her hoof in front of him to get his attention, “are you okay, darling?”

“Huh? Sure, I’d like some hay.” Snickers shouted his response in an effort to be heard by himself over the deafness he was experiencing.

Rarity stepped back and tapped her ear with her hoof. “Ah, you needn’t shout, Snickers. Now about that hay,” she looked around and noticed nopony else was around. “Pinkie, where is everypony else; surely you moved the party here?”

Snickers sneered. “Hey, I don’t want you to find me an easy lay! If I want one, I can find one myself! Rude!”

Rarity blushed and shook her head at Snickers, then focused on Pinkie. “Pinkie? What have you done to him with your party cannon?”

Pinkie snorted and giggled. “Oh, happens all the time. Here,” she said, clapping her forehooves together and pulled a green balloon from between her hooves. She inhaled and blew into it while Snickers watched with rapt attention and interest. Pinkie’s forelegs began moving faster than either pony could see and when they stopped, Pinkie was holding a balloon in the shape of a giraffe.

She brought it to Snickers’ ear and it popped with a pin, most of the air blew across his face. “Ew! Pinkie, that’s like… breathing on my face with your mouth breath! But, hmm… did you eat jalapeno red velvet cupcakes with lemon icing?”

Pinkie giggled and nodded, then gasped. “Oh, yeah! Hey, can you hear me? Hello?” Pinkie shouted and waved her forelegs over her head.

“Yeah, I could hear you before that thing boomed my… oh, my clothes and mane,” he pouted looking himself over, “I look simply dreadful and sparkly.”

Pinkie wrapped her foreleg over him. “Yeah! I added some glitter to help brighten your day and the confetti’s scented like cinnamon because you’re kinda cinnamon colored,” she beamed and turned him to face the town. “So, let’s get to town and have the party. But, act surprised because you’re not supposed to know about it.” Pinkie pointedly looked at Rarity, as though accusing her of telling the secret.

Rarity shook her head defensively outside of the colt’s view. “Yes, let’s hurry before anypony is any the wiser.”

“Oh, before I forget,” Pinkie said raising a small kennel into Snickers’s view, “here’s your pet timberwolf, she’s nicer than I, and a few other ponies, expected her to be.”

“Her?” Snickers asked as he sat and took the kennel into his hooves and set it on the ground while fiddling with the latch to open it. “Why do you think it’s a her?”

Pinkie pat Snickers on his neck mane. “Because, the eyes aren’t the same. Only male wolves go hunting on Equus while females stay to watch the pups and tend their dens; they have yellow eyes.”

“So, Pup has green and yellow eyes,” Snickers stated and opened the kennel door so Pup could hop out and then nuzzle into her Alpha.

“Well, there’s a way to check that you wouldn’t have seen since you were still under the privacy spell,” Rarity added in. Snickers looked at her and then to Pinkie. “Yes, now you understand. While we are quite different; everything has to dispel waste in a common matter.”

…

“Surprise!” Voices surrounded Snickers and his group once the doorway to the boutique was closed. Lights turned on, ponies hopped out of hiding, including Pinkie who was behind them for the split second between the door closing and the lights turning on. Pinkie was wearing a new party hat and hopping over a table to reach them.

“So, who’s ready to part-ie’ee?!” Pinkie shouted, then bit her lip to muffle a scream. She looked back to see Pup climbing onto her back using his claws for grip. Not enough to break the skin, but it sure felt close to the pink mare. She looked back and saw the green eyes of the timberwolf and forced a smirk through trembling lips. “Hey, Pup,” she said weakly, “how’s about loosening that grip, huh?”

A stallion screamed, breaking the silence that had taken over the shop and Rarity looked intensely at Twilight who was in the middle center of the beginning stampede. A flash of purple and everypony froze in place, many landing on the floor in uncomfortable positions as Twilight puffed her cheeks and bowed her head from the strain on her horn.

“Everypony,” Rarity shouted, “thank you, Twilight,” she interjected upon herself, “I demand you remain calm and refrain from panicking! This creature here is, indeed, a timberwolf puppy. He is tame, he is little, and he isn’t dangerous.” She nodded to Twilight to release her spell, which she did with a loud exhale. Rarity swallowed loudly and looked at Snickers as he had just removed Pup from Pinkie’s back.

“In fact,” Rarity continued, “this little timberwolf saved my son’s life; and she’s a part of my family a much as my son’s herd is.”

Snickers hiccupped as the crowd looked at him, then everypony’s expressions softened as they looked at the foul mouthed colt with his odd pet, and the fillies that were pushing their way to stand beside him in support. Silver Spoon made a point to shove to his right and rested her side against his; and while none of the others made a point to make contact with him, a zony colt did.

Snickers looked to his left and grinned at Kiwe, then to his right and looked into Silver Spoon’s eyes. “You’re not wearing your glasses,” he said softly as the partygoers started to collect themselves.

Silver blushed as she stared into his eyes and saw her reflection. “I’m… like, wearing contacts. Because,” she swallowed and leaned closer to him, “like, just… y’know.”

Snickers leaned closer and couldn’t stop looking at her lips, inching closer to him. His heart rate increased and he had let Pup go sometime in the passing few seconds.

Kiwe smirked at the sight and bumped against Snickers, moving the colt the last short distance so that Snicker and Silver’s lips met in their first real kiss. Both their eyes were open and they exhaled in surprise, then inhaled one another’s scent and their eyes closed as their heads tilted to their right.

The room was filled with cute noises affirming the couple’s kiss while all Snickers could hear was a contented hum from Silver Spoon. He pulled back first and felt his lips tingling, like he’d licked a battery for too long while Silver Spoon’s entire body was sending her signals she didn’t understand completely. Part of her wanted to give herself to him right then, even though she didn’t truly know how, while another told her to play it safe and not be hurt, while a larger and shared part they both held closest told them to just be close to one another.

They nuzzled and retook their places with Silver to his right and now Pup to his left as they got their bearings on where they were and what was happening. “Oh, right,” Silver giggled awkwardly, “party. Uh, so… want me to get you some punch?”

Snickers nodded and Silver stepped away from him, looked back at him for a couple paces, then ran into the crowd to find punch. “Speaking of punch,” Diamond Tiara said giving Snickers a friendly punch that would probably leave a small bruise, “not only has my best <gal fremd> come back from the dead with a bucking timberwolf as a pet,” she leaned closer to him, “but you finally get the girl.”

Diamond shoved Snickers playfully. “Colt, if you were a mare; I’d make you my beta and- mgphlph!”

Pinkie looked over Diamond and grinned at Snickers. “Enough of that talk, we’re here to have fun, not talk about that ickiness; so let’s cut a rug!”

Snickers laughed at Diamond as she fumed at being interrupted. “Hey, <Sandy Cheeks>, at least you know you can count on me to save your tail, as long as there isn’t a handle involved.”

Pinkie’s smile fell a little. “Aww, inside jokes that don’t involve me make me sad… and the only cure is dancing!” Pinkie dropped Diamond Tiara and hopped back twice into the crowd as music started to play from around the room. The lights dimmed while staying just as bright in the center of the showroom where Pinkie started to dance with two other ponies.

Snickers moved beside Diamond and had to speak louder to be heard over the music. “Hey, I know I’m a walking cock that’s waiting to plow into some unlucky filly,” he said and smirked as Diamond laughed into her hoof, “but I think after a week in the woods alone, except for Pup, here, I need a minute in my room to take care of myself. Can you run distraction?”

Diamond stood tall and saluted. “Go do yourself, since nopony in their right mind would go anywhere near that thing.” She grinned and walked beside him. “I’m really glad you’re okay, though. Seriously, I was scared for you and we’re all really happy you’re back.” Snickers moved in to hug her and was stopped when her hoof pressed into his chest. “And here I thought you were a gentlecolt,” she teased.

“I was gonna hug you, not hump you. Gah, thinking of how dry that thing is makes me imagine sandpaper rubbing along my rod. It’d be the worst experience ever, no wonder you need a licking to get yourself ticking; all that chafing must suck.”

They laughed and then hugged for a short moment before they stepped apart and slyly went around the guests to the stairs. Diamond walked up halfway with him and Pup, then stopped and returned downstairs, leaving him to his own devices while she kept an eye on the stairway and made plans to stop anypony from bothering him.

Diamond laughed to herself, unheard over the music and din of the room, about how funny it would be if she walked in on him to surprise him and maybe watch him finish. She felt her cheeks warming and shook her head and began mumbling to herself. “No, bad girl. He’s a friend, just because he acts like a perfect mare doesn’t mean he is one.

“Mares only, nothing’s getting under my tail if it has to climb on my back to do it… but, who says it has to be on my back? No! Stop, just get some punch and think about Berry Pinch, that always works.”

Meanwhile, Silver Spoon climbed the stairs quickly with a cup of punch in her mouth for the colt she was ready to give herself to as soon as spring came.

…

Snickers lay on his bed and looked at the ceiling with Pup on the floor sniffing around. He held a pillow to his chest and rolled to his side, smiling at being back home in his room without any interruptions for a few minutes; just time to absorb the smells and sights he’d missed so much. “Pup, I can’t believe I’m back. You don’t know anything about this, I know, but this is my room and I guess I’ll have to make you a bed of leaves or something, right?

“Whatever,” he said with a smile and sigh, “home sweet home.”

The party sounds were muffled and with the press of a gem, Snickers could silence the world outside of his room, if he wanted. But he didn’t want that; he wanted to bask in the ambiance of life and civilization. “If I never go back to the woods alone, it’ll be too soon, Pup.”

The door to his room opened slowly and Pup gave all her attention to the filly entering. Snickers held his pillow still, but watched as Silver Spoon walked in and set the cup on the floor. “Here you are, I saw you leaving the party and was worried you were overwhelmed, so I brought you your punch and I’m here if my alpha stallion needs anything. I’m a great listener. Like, one of the best, I’ve been told.”

Snickers held the pillow a little tighter, then let it go and shoved it off the bed, onto Pup’s back. With a disgruntled noise, the wolf bit the pillow and dragged it under the bed and out of sight. Silver swallowed loudly. “Uhm, like, is that thing safe? I don’t wanna, like, be food for some monster, you know, right?”

“Pup’s fine. She doesn’t even eat meat; turns out they live on poop and water.”

“Ew! That’s totally gross,” Silver said sneering at the shadows under the bed, “and he’s not going anywhere near my rear end, unless he wants a good buck to the face by an earth pony.”

Snickers, still lying on his side, waved her over. “Come here, Silver. I wanna hold you… if that’s okay.”

Silver’s ears perked and before he was done talking she was at the edge of his bed and climbing up. She rolled to her side and scooted back until her back was snugly against his belly and when he wrapped his foreleg over her barrel while the other went under her neck, Silver felt completely safe and protected.

She touched the foreleg under under her neck with her hoof and sighed, relaxing in his embrace. “This is better than I thought it would be.”

Snickers hummed. “Yeah, it’s really cozy and you’re so warm and… real. It’s nice to be home and with a real pony in my forelegs, touching my body… smelling real and,” he snuffled into her mane, making her giggle, “you smell real nice,” he said.

Silver felt something press against her cutiemark and her smile faded. She bit her lip and waited, unsure of what to do or if it was really what she thought it was. How far she should go and if this would be the moment he claimed her as his mare. She flagged her tail slightly and felt a chill as her body prepared itself for her first time, earlier than planned but not wholly unwelcome.

“Hey, are you okay? You’re tense,” Snickers said softly.

Silver nodded. “Y-yeah, I… I’m ready when you are.”

“Wait, ready for what?” Snickers asked.

Silver rolled her eyes. “Well, duh... for--” she went silent when she felt something move from her flank to her tail and then under it in a way a stallion’s parts shouldn’t be able to move. When the odd sensation touched her vulva she sat up and looked behind her, expecting to see Snickers trying to find her entrance, instead she saw a wooden wolf behind her. She felt it exhale a cool breath against her heated and moist fillyhood and she reacted appropriately.

She screamed and kicked behind her blindly as she scrambled from Snickers’s hold and onto the floor. She turned to face Pup and growled. “You dumb… thing! You ruined a magical moment between my stallion and I, I’ll get you back for this,” she said and ran to the door and opened it, spilling the punch as she left.

Snickers looked down his body to Pup and then looked at the open door that Silver had just left through. “Wow, females never make sense, do they?”

---

Pup cocked her head to the side and licked her snout. The scent of pheromones were strong from the female her alpha was going to mate with, but for some reason the female ran away before Alpha could meld their bodies into one and exchange pollens and seeds, and the female was upset with her for trying to help; which confused Pup even more.

With the melding ruined, Pup was just going to have to stay by Alpha’s side and perhaps help him find another female… she’d just have to play it by sense and do as Alpha commanded of her. He did have a habit of asking a lot of questions she didn’t understand and couldn’t answer, regardless, though. Pup wondered why he wasn’t telling her what to do like an Alpha should… he was her father and Alpha, but he was so different than what she had expected when bound to the earth.

When binding to the earth from being a spirit of the forest, the process would happen and then, from what she’d heard, larger creatures would show up to tell her what to do. Instead, she was fed very well, comforted during her initial sapling growth, and talked to for hours by the one that helped her arrive into the physical plane.

Nothing was happening like she had heard, but this was so much better, too. She didn’t have to start defending the forest right away, she didn’t have to soak in the decaying matter of physical lifeforms, she wasn’t being told what to do and where to go by some physical planer without knowing anything about anything.

Pup had a name, an Alpha that took care of her, several new words she could understand, and the bond between herself and Alpha was growing stronger every few hours. Pup could feel something happening, something special between them, but she didn’t know what; only that it was a nice feeling.

---

Snickers rolled from his bed and onto the floor with a sigh. “Well, time to go back downstairs and tell Diamond I rubbed it like a boss. You won’t tell her the truth will you? That I just came up here to have a moment?” Pup whined curiously. “Good girl, let’s go get some punch for real and try some dancing. I haven’t danced in a while and four legs is gonna be different compared to two.”

Through the afternoon, Snickers and Pup went around the party introducing themselves to ponies as they passed, mostly with Snickers showing Pup to a pony and coaxing the pony to hold their foreleg out so Pup could sniff and then give a sappy lick. Snickers danced with Pup, which started as Pup just happily running around the colt as he moved in awkward motions, but evolved into them chasing one another around ponies on the dance floor while the fillies of his herd watched from the side.

When opportunites presented themselves, one by one, foals took over the dance floor with dancing that turned into games of tag, followed by leapfrog, more dancing, and even individual tail chasing that Pup seemed to love doing beside a foal in some sort of race.

The adults watched when they could and they cheered when Pup would manage to grab her leafy twig tail and tug it free from her rump before running to Snickers so he could reattach it and the cycles would continue.

Starting at eleven in the morning and going until three in the afternoon, the party wound down when foals started falling in place, spent and out of energy after playing for two straight hours and succumbing to nap times. The music petered out and foals were carried out of the boutique with small gift bags and well wishes.

Each adult made sure to welcome Snickers back and welcome Pup to the town before they left and by four o’clock the boutique was quiet, cleaned thanks to Pinkie, and a welcome home for a colt that survived being lost for a week in the Everfree Forest.

“Wow,” Rarity said, looking around her shop, “to think this was the center of a Pinkie Party no more than an hour ago. And my little prince,” she said prancing to him and nuzzling him, “you’re home; how does it feel?”

Snickers thought for a couple of seconds. “Surreal. Um, have you seen the girls?”

Rarity smirked. “Oh, can’t wait to get your hugs from your herdmates?” She grinned when he frowned at her. “Don’t give me that, your little kiss will be on the lips of every mare for the next two days, you suave stallion you.” Rarity winked her eye at him and then turned to stand beside him. “They’re upstairs, they made a point to tell me they were taking their leave when the party started to end; something about filly talk in Sweetie’s room. I think it would be best to let them have their privacy.”

Snickers blushed a little. “Yeah, when I get involved in filly time it usually ends up being awkward and weird for me. Where’s Kiwe?”

“Oh, the darling went with Mrs. Cake to compare carrot muffin recipes, of all things. They should be done shortly, though. How difficult can baking truly be?” She asked rhetorically, knowing the answer full well: awfully difficult.

Snickers looked at Pup. “Okay, so then it’s me and Pup for a while. I guess, if it’s okay with you, mother,” Rarity sighed and rested a forehoof on her chest, “may I change my outfit? As much as I like parties, I’m still somewhat decorated as one,” he said and shook his foreleg and some glitter shimmered in the light as it fell to the floor.

“Not on my carpet, darling! Oh, those are just awful to get out,” Rarity huffed. “Go change and take a well deserved shower, and do the same with your wolf,” she shivered at the word, “because she smells a bit… unique still.”

Snickers walked to the stairs. “Yeah, she’s a poop eater, it’s gonna happen,” he said with a laugh and ran up the stairs with Pup behind him. They went straight to the bathroom and Snickers stripped his shirt off and realized he was very shiny and reflective in the light of day that came into the room from the window.

“Okay, Pup; this is gonna be your first shower, so if you have any problems just let me know and I’ll help you the best I can. Don’t eat the soap.”

Pup’s ear twigs went up and the image of a soap bar flashed into her mind along with the word ‘don’t’. She nodded once and Snickers stared at her, slowly turning away as he passed the event off as a happening of chance, nothing more. He started the water and tested it, then checked again to make sure it was water, since he seemed to have bad experiences with water at times.

Once sure, he climbed in and helped Pup after, and they both stood under the water. Pup let small roots extend from several parts of her body and she drank water in to fill herself while Snickers watched. “Hey, we gotta get you cleaner; mom’s getting upset because you smell like shit. Damn, I mean crap. Ugh, I can’t win with this, can I?

“Look, is there a way you can smell better? Because I don’t feel okay soaping you up since you’re a plant, and all.”

Pup started absorbing more water at his direction and watched as Snickers grimaced and covered his nose. She absorbed more and more water, until she had begun expunging the excess waste in her body in a dark brown slurry that made Snickers nearly retch. He quickly grabbed a bottle of random shampoo and poured too much on himself, then started rubbing it into his fur; the heady floral scent filled his nostrils and the rest of the bathroom, covering the rank stench Pup was making.

Another minute passed, then it was done and only water flowed from Pup, only now she was almost five times her normal weight and looked like a grotesque watermelon as opposed to a timberwolf puppy. Snickers had been rinsing himself of the shampoo and was finally done with his head and neck when he noticed Pup and snorted into laughter at the creature.

Pup’s vision was waving from all the water in her body, yet she felt sluggish and very tired suddenly. She retracted her roots and lifted her tail, then began letting the excess water leave her body.

Snickers watched with awe as Pup essentially peed herself thin and held back several jokes about weight loss and mares that would certainly come back to bite him in the future. “Wow, good girl, Pup! That was great and you smell a lot better, too. I’m just still rinsing my body from the shampoo I used, so don’t mind me while I try to stop being so bubbly.”

Pup looked at her Alpha and her vision dimmed. She was hungry, having gotten rid of nearly all the solid nutrients in her body at once.

Snickers stopped rubbing the shampoo from his coat and looked at Pup. “Are you okay? You look, feel... hungry? Hungry,” he said and thought about it for a moment before realizing Pup was hungry after what had happened. “Oh, crap… can you wait a few minutes? I’ve gotta finish… wait,” he inhaled and peeked from the shower curtain, “mom!”

Four seconds passed before two bodies ran into the door, then the handle turned and he saw four fillies fall into the bathroom while Silver Spoon leapt over them and slipped on the damp floor and skidded into the room, stopping by Snickers with a worried look on her face.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong?! How can I help? Was it that thing?” Silver pointed at the puppy and then wilted when she saw how Pup was sagging in spots and didn’t seem any more dangerous than a real puppy at the moment. “Oh… um.”

Rarity reached the bathroom and looked at Snickers. “My little prince, are you alright? Mommy’s here, how can I make it better?”

Snickers leaned down and picked Pup up. “Get him outside into the dirt, he’s clean and all that, but she doesn’t have hardly anything left in her body after cleaning herself out! Please, hurry,” he said holding Pup towards Rarity.

Rarity looked at the creature and felt honestly sorry for it, for how it looked. She’d seen dying plants many times in her life, and this creature seemed to be starting the process. “Yes, I’ll get right on it. Just, don’t expect Pup to come back in this house without a good washing after it gets all dirty.”

Rarity galloped away with Pup in tow while Snickers sighed and sat down with a squishing sound. He rested his chin on the tub rim. “Okay, it’s okay… right, Silver?”

Silver Spoon nodded. “Oh, totally. We’ve got you covered and your… timberwolf, too.”

“You really don’t like her , do you?” Snickers asked.

Silver opened her mouth, but Scootaloo answered. “It’s not that we don’t like her, we just don’t know if she’s safe. We trust you, but timberwolves eat ponies; it’s a fact. We’re prey, they’re predators, it’s just how it is… and I don’t wanna be eaten.”

The others in the room nodded. “Well,” Snickers said, “how many timberwolves have you ever actually heard of eating ponies?”

“Tons!” Apple Bloom shouted. “They always come after ponies that get near the forest.”

Diamond cleared her throat. “That’s not an answer to his question. Have any of us ever actually heard a real story of a pony being eaten by a timberwolf?”

Scootaloo raised her forehoof hesitantly, then lowered it while the fillies looked between one another. “Huh,” Sweetie Belle said, “they have to have… I mean, they’re predators and it’s what they do.”

Snickers shook his head. “I don’t think so. They’re like forest guard dogs, I think. Just, they keep the forest safe from outside threats. I mean, it’s called the Everfree Forest, it wouldn’t be very free if ponies took it over and pushed every creature to new places or captured them, right?”

The fillies looked between one another and shrugged. “Maybe, but I think we should ask Twilight Sparkle about it, she knows everything about that stuff,” Sweetie added.

“You mean that librarian that dresses inappropriately, trying to get a stallion every week?” Diamond Tiara said snidely. “What a weirdo loser, I wouldn’t go there even if a princess moved in to that hovel.”

Silver Spoon agreed. “Yeah, tre gauche and I heard she sleeps with a new stallion and mare every week, she’s the easiest pony to have sex with and you don’t even have to get her drunk.”

Snickers sat up and clacked his hoof on the tub floor. “Shut up! That’s an awful rumor and if you want to be with me then you won’t spread that shit, got it?”

The fillies stepped away and cowered down. “Y-yes, sir,” Diamond Tiara said, despite herself.

The others nodded and Snickers looked up with a groan. “Great, now I’m acting like a jerk. Look, girls; I know Twilight’s weird, but she’s really nice and is actually really strict on her sexual activities. She has a book with her sex logs in it in a drawer for anypony to find and read; she mostly has sex during her estrus, that’s it since the past four years, actually.

“She’s dressing, or was before mom got on her case, that way to find a stallion to court and date, not for sex, okay?”

He was met with dubious expressions. “Are ya sure ya ain’t just sweet on her?” Apple Bloom asked. Silver Spoon shot the bow wearing filly a glare that could instill fear in a bear.

Suddenly, Snickers inhaled deeply and groaned loud and long as he sank into the tub. The fillies crowded around the tub and watched as Snickers rested on his belly with a goofy smile on his face. “Yummy food, good food.”

“Okay,” Scootaloo said with a giggle, she moved her forehoof in a ‘crazy’ motion, “he’s busy so I’m gonna get back to our talk. Silver, you were talking about being on your side, right?”

Diamond rushed to the doorway. “No, belly first, then back, then side!”

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Who cares how ya get yerself groomed?! It’s all the same in the end.”

“Psh, shows how much you know, with your mane all frizzy and your fur all sticky.”

“Excuse me, but Ah happen ta have trouble gettin’ tree sap off mah body when the new pet drools the stuff on me, and mah mane’s just fine for me.”

“Girls, let’s talk about manes later; right now we have to figure out the best way for Silver to groom for her spring estrus when she and- oh yeah, let’s talk about this in private.”

“Y’all go ahead, Ah’m gonna check on Snickers and make sure he’s okay.” Silver was about to protest and take Apple Bloom’s place, but she was pushed and pulled by her friends from the room. “Hey, ya doin’ okay down there?”

Snickers sat up and nodded. “Yeah, remember tasting something really good and it overwhelmed me, is all. Uh, must’ve been the suds, right?”

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Yeah, Sweetie told us ya like nibblin’ on them. If Ah leave ya, ya aren’t gonna drink a bottle of shampoo, are ya?”

“Ew, no way. Conditioner only; shampoo makes me farty.”

Apple Bloom snerked. “Okay, smart-flank, if ya need anythin’ just holler and we’ll come a runnin’.”

Snickers saluted her and with a salute in reply, Apple Bloom left Snickers to finish washing. Snickers, meanwhile, started to ponder the nature of his relationship with Pup and what was happening between them.

Bonding

Rarity ran outside her home and business, quickly moving out of public sight, and placed Pup on the ground. “There you are… should I say ‘do your business’ in this instance?” She asked Pup, then her eyes widened as the wolf lay down and sank into the dirt partially. Tendrils of vines snaked from her wooden body and bore into the dirt with ease, melting into the rich soil below.

Pup seemed to fall asleep for a few seconds, then opened her eyes and panted, her twiggy tail moving side to side slowly. She barked and then sniffed the manicured grass before burying her muzzle halfway into the soil.

Rarity watched with fascination and took mental notes at the event, hoping this was a future substitute for eating bodily waste. “Hmm, that’s a bit odd,” Rarity said and moved closer to Pup and raised her foreleg. Using it as a nonstandard measuring tool, her eyebrows rose. “Oh, my! You have grown since I met you, a good three inches in a day.

“Why, at this rate, if it’s constant, you’ll be a full sized timberwolf by springtime. And, if I must say, having a fully grown timberwolf protecting our town will certainly be a boon,” she hummed and tapped her chin, “and great for the town as well, in the manner of tourism! Oh, I simply have to use you for design inspiration!”

Rarity’s horn lit, then the light faded as she realized she was about to rip a plant from the ground while it was feeding itself; a certain way to kill a normal plant, surely. “On second thought, I believe I can wait for a few minutes and let you finish your meal. Um, you aren’t going to root yourself there and grow into a timberwolf tree, are you?”

---

Snickers finished washing his coat and mane, his tail was knotted, but easy enough to wash once he used conditioner, and he left the shower after shaking some water off his body. Snickers grabbed a towel and tossed it over his back and tried to dry himself, then sighed. “Sweetie Belle, can you come help me?” He shouted from the doorway.

Her room door opened and she pranced down the hall once she saw his wet mane and head. “Sure thing, we’ll have you dry in no time.”

Snickers looked back and counted his fillies following Sweetie toward him. He started to blush when he thought of the girls as ‘his’ and Sweetie noticed. “Don’t worry, we’re just gonna help our herd stallion get ready for the rest of his day with us.”

Snickers backed into the room and shuffled his hooves on the floor. Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara went to his sides and started rubbing the towel against his fur while Scootaloo and Apple Bloom tossed a towel over his head and started drying him as well. “Ah want ya ta know that Ah’m only kinda in this here herd.

“Ah have a bit of a thing fer Kiwe, ta be honest, and me and Sweetie are thinkin’ of bein’ with him, so don’t be hurt none that we’re just here as friends. Snickers, ya should see Sweetie whenever Kiwe talks, and when she hears him do them zebra rhymes she melts like oil on a skillet.”

“And don’t even think I’m in a herd at all,” Scootaloo stated. “I’ve got my sister, Rainbow Dash, to teach me how to be cool and awesome like she is, so I can’t have some colt or herd holding me back from my future.”

“And do I even have to say anything,” Diamond Tiara added for her part. The fillies giggled and Snickers flicked his tail at her. “Hey, keep your parts away from me; I’m not that kinda mare. I like my mares just fine, thank you.”

“Like you’d even be able to handle him,” Silver Spoon stuck her tongue out. “He’s such a stallion that I might not even last ten seconds our first time,” she tittered. “Just thinking of him nibbling on my ear with his weight on my back and his forelegs holding me still so I won’t fall over. Him being inside me and making me into a mare, his mare.”

The fillies giggled again, almost forgetting Snickers was there, what with him being covered with towels. “I imagine Kiwe doing that to me,” Sweetie said with a sigh from beside the sink, “only he’ll start with a rhyme about how pretty I am and then we’ll share a really nice kiss and he’ll tell me how special I am to him.”

“Oh, I totally think Snickers would do something like that, only it’ll be more forceful and commanding. He’ll tell me what he’s gonna do to after he says some sweet crap to me, ya know, like to get me ready. Then he’ll kiss me so much I won’t be able to say no to let him do anything he wants to me, not like I would say no anyway,” she exhaled with a wistful sigh and leaned against Snickers, forgetting he was there while in her fantasy. “It would be like lightning across my body with each touch he’ll make.

“Then he’d bite my neck under my chin and,” she shivered. Sweetie looked at others that had stopped drying Snickers with their attention focused solely on Silver Spoon with their tails swishing and a couple fully flagged, exposing themselves to anypony that would walk by with a subconscious clitoral wink here and there, and then Sweetie laughed.

“Girls, you know he’s right there, right?” She stated and the fantasy stopped. Apple Bloom snerked and held back her giggles as she took the towel off his head and lost control when she saw the wide eyed colt, red as a beet from his withers to his ears and down to his forehooves, and rigid as a statue.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Great, now you’re giving him ideas, I bet. Why don’t you just check, Silver Spoon, we all know you wanna.”

Silver Spoon grinned and pushed the towel up over his back and towards Diamond, then stepped back, squealing happily while blinking her eyes several times to moisten her contacts so she could see one of her goals clearly and be able to commit it to her memory. “See! There it is, I told you he’s big; he’s, like, as big as in my dreams, maybe bigger and he’s not even a stallion yet,” she pranced in a circle while Snickers stood in embarassed shock. “Next spring can’t come soon enough! I’m gonna be a dam, I can feel it already,” she giggled wildly and patted her belly.

“Grow up,” Diamond said as she tossed the towel back over Snickers and hid his visible reaction to the fillies’ conversation from view, “you act like a cock is all that matters when only a mare knows what a mare wants and needs. Just because you think he’s ‘so big’ doesn’t mean he’ll be able to please you like a real mare can.”

While the fillies around her began a short set of hushed whispers, Diamond Tiara did manage to take a step back and lift the towel to see what the big deal was, and for the first time since seeing it weeks before, she appreciated what she saw.

Regardless of her sexual preference, Diamond Tiara could appreciate a well endowed stallion, and this colt was well endowed, compared to the other colts she’d seen, even if this colt was the one she didn’t find gross or want to hurt for sullying her vision with his various parts that certainly weren’t the better looking of them all.

Diamond dropped the towel so it covered him again and stood back up, rubbing his side as a blush came into view on her cheeks and familiar sensations worked through her body, similar to, but not as powerful as, when she thought of a filly or mare she fancied before she went to sleep at night or had her sexual urges at the oddest times of the day.

Diamond only hoped that Snickers’s penis wouldn’t make a debut in her fantasies that, or any future, night; or she’d have to look through her father’s magazines and read her mother’s romance novels. The ones being female romance centric, not the stallion-stallion ones that were all the rage; she didn’t need more penisus in her mind.

“O-okay, I th-think I’m dry enough now,” Snickers said quietly. “Can you keep me covered back there for another minute or so?”

Scootaloo leaned close to his ear to whisper, “You won’t be dry if you keep being such a stud, if you know what I mean.” Snickers took in a halted breath and exhaled it slowly through his lips, he could feel heat leaving his mouth from how hot and bothered he was.

“I swear I’m not hanging out with fillies if this is gonna keep happening,” he whispered to himself.

Apple Bloom heard him and shook her head. “It’s gonna be fine; ya see, it’s comin’ up on fall estrus and even if we ain’t in heat, our bodies still act like it in some ways. Ah remember mah sis tellin’ me that if Ah ever get talkin’ like Silver over yonder, then Ah’d better talk with her about how ta scratch them itches ‘fore Ah’m a mare and go too far.

“Ah think it’s another sex talk, because Aj’s really tight lipped-”

“I’d love to loosen those lips,“ Diamond mumbled loud enough to be heard by Apple Bloom and got a scathing glare that Diamond smirked at. “Well, if Rainbow Dash doesn’t deliver, maybe some diamonds will help her see with more clarity.”

“Wait, what’s that about Rainbow Dash? What’s she delivering, does she need help?”

“Sorry, but stay outta this, Scootaloo; Ah’ve gotta have words with Diamond Tiara about stayin’ away from mah sister!”

Sweetie set a brown basket with well organized brushes by Snickers’s right foreleg. “Okay, enough of that! Let’s groom him and show him off to Rarity; operation show-the-colt is a go!”

Scootaloo tossed the towel off Snickers’s head and whooped. “Yeah, a cutiemark for helping a pony clean up would be nice! What would it look like? Maybe a brush over a tail.”

Apple Bloom stopped scowling at Diamond Tiara. “Maybe a bunch of hair curlers in a mane.”

“Let’s find out together,” Sweetie Belle said as she picked a brush up in her mouth and moved to Snickers’s foreleg.

Each filly took a brush and started brushing him, two on his mane, two on his tail, two on his coat; he relaxed deeply and could have fallen asleep standing at the comforting feeling he was having. It was one of the best experiences of his life as a pony, as far as he could recall in his hazy mind, anyway.

“Oh, his tail is so soft it’s like what I think a cloud is like.”

“You think that’s nice, his mane is already so long and shiny without any product in it yet. And the fur on his face doesn’t even look like he needs attention.”

“Hmph, I guess if we’re complimenting him, then his body’s pretty nice… for a colt, except for how skinny he is,” Diamond pointed out by rubbing a hoof on one of his barely visible ribs. Their attention was directed to his sides and Snickers woke up suddenly when he was hugged practically everywhere.

Silver Spoon whimpered and faked a sniffle. “Oh, my darling stallion; you’re so skinny from your time out in the woods. I’ll totally have my butler have you fed like the prince you are once you come over to my house for supper, and when you wake up for breakfast.”

Apple Bloom hummed a wolf whistle that frustrated Snickers. Snickers tapped his hoof on the floor with the loudest noise in the room garnering all attention on him. “Um, I don’t remember saying I’d do that.”

“No? Well, I’m sure you’d love to, right? I mean, it’s going to be practically gourmet. I’ve already had the meal set up in honor of you finally meeting my parents so you can ask for their permission to be sire with me, we can snuggle and maybe practice a little, too.”

Snickers, for some reason, forgot what ‘sire’ meant, but he was sure he’d prefer to not meet Silver Spoon’s parents and sleep alone with the filly, rather than having a meal with Rarity and Sweetie Belle, cooked by his new brother, Kiwe. “Yeah, I’m not gonna do that tonight. I’m having dinner here, but you can stay if you’d like.”

Silver Spoon stepped back and looked Snickers over from tail to withers and then looked into his eyes and felt her elbows go weak. “Are you s-sure you don’t want to come to my house? It’s practically a mansion.”

Snickers growled. “I’m staying here, got it?!” The others in the room stopped in place and flinched, lowering their heads slightly in submission at Snickers’ demanding shout.

Silver Spoon stepped back quickly and lowered her head into a gentile bow. “Y-yes, sir. I’ve totally got it and would totally like to have dinner here, with you... if you’ll allow it.”

Snickers stared at Silver Spoon and wondered what had just happened to her, and the others. The moment was broken when Scootaloo scoffed. “You’re such an omega.”

“I’ll whip you down to an omega,” Silver Spoon stood tall and retorted with a frown at the aloof orange filly. “And I don’t wanna hear your snarky comment, Diamond Tiara,” she snapped at the smirking pink filly. “I’m going and I’ll see you later,” she said, stomping out of the bathroom.

Diamond Tiara hummed a chuckle. “She’s going to rub one out in the bathroom downstairs, I bet.”

Snickers blushed slightly and covered his eyes with his foreleg while the girls giggled. “Ah hope she washes her hooves, that’s mighty embarrassin’, smellin’ like that around town.”

“Yeah, she won’t because she wants to let her stallion here know how she feels about him. I bet she rubs her hoof on his muzzle so he can’t get her out of his mind.”

“Gross, you’re just all so gross. I can’t believe Silver’s gonna mark him with her most personal scent, she never did that for me no matter how many times I told her to.”

“That’s because she doesn’t think of you the same way she thinks of her future sire.”

Scootaloo broke the teasing rounds and tapped Snickers on the top of his head. “Snickers, you know she loves being bossed around, right?”

“I kinda figured that out, Scootaloo. Thanks for the tip, though.”

…

Pup, under the wary and watchful eye of Rarity, began to rise from the earth and shook loose soil from her tiny body once she was above ground completely. The creature seemed to be as healthy as a normal canine would be -save for the differences- and even, to Rarity, smelled fresh and look good enough to eat.

She felt her heart pound in her chest at the horrid thought of eating not only a still living creature, but the pet of her son. “Well, it seems you are in good shape now and have, indeed, grown from your recent meal,” she looked Pup over, “so Snickers will have some news to take and give on this matter.

“Regardless, a quick rinse with the garden hose should clean you up nicely enough to remain in the house for the remainder of the evening and after this long, I hope Snickers is clean and refreshed for the night to come.

“I don’t know if you can eat pony food, but a young stallion staying with us is quite the chef and I‘m sure he can make you something, if you require anything. Look at me, talking to a timberwolf like a normal pony; you can’t even understand what I’m saying, can you?”

Pup nodded her head once and Rarity fell silent for the next few minutes, unsure of what to say about what had happened, or if she would even be believed.

Pup, on the other paw, was feeling better than she ever had before. The soil was richer and cleaner than those of the forest and she didn’t feel at all unwell now like when she had sampled the soil when it was just Alpha and her; everything felt fine and in some areas of her body; she felt better than fine.

The veins in her branches were swollen with nutrient rich water that would keep her fed for maybe two weeks in the current environment. No stories on the wind or through the leaves of the trees had ever compared to the wonders of the soil outside her new den; what other wonders would she come across over the next few days?

She didn’t know, but Pup was excited to find out for herself.

While she was being washed a sudden sensation flooded her body and if she were able, Pup would have certainly felt her body temperature rise in time with Snickers having to listen to a very clear conversation; instead her vision swam slightly and she stumbled slightly, unnoticed by Rarity as being explained by the water pushing at the quickly growing puppy.

Ease Back, Filly

Snickers reached the main floor and was beset upon by a beast that would have struck fear in the hearts of those around him a day before, instead there were happy giggles and jovial laughter from around him as Pup and Snickers playfully wrestled and rolled for dominance in a mock fight that the colt won. There was cheering and stomping of hooves at his victory and in a surprise move, Pup’s eyes dimmed to black and she fell limp with her tongue hanging out of her mouth.

Snickers tapped Pup’s nose with his hoof. “<Hey, get up; no kid of mine is gonna be taken down so easy like.>”

Pup’s eyes brightened and she barked at him once, then licked across Snickers’s face and a more expected event happened; Rarity stood on her hind legs and dramatically fell back onto a fainting couch that was just pulled into place by her own magic. Diamond Tiara laughed at the colt’s expression and the sight of steaks of sap matting the fur where the tongue touched.

“Pup! Ya stop that right now or Ah’ll give ya a reason ta whimper later on,” Apple Bloom shouted and shoved Snickers off Pup. “And as fer you,” she pointed at a streak of sap on the colt’s face, “we all just spent fifteen minutes gettin’ ya all spiffed up, and the first thing ya do is get inta a fight that ends with yer mane all messy, ya got a knot in yer tail, and ya made yer mama straight up an’ faint.”

Rarity peeked her eye open to watch the events and a small smile pulled at her lips when she saw Pup push her small body between the ponies and bark at them both. It was a heartwarming sight to see such a typically vicious predator acting as a mediator, of sorts, to two foals bickering.

Silver Spoon ran into the room sweating lightly across her head and breathing heavily. “Snickers?! I heard that thing and came running, you’re not hurt, are you?” She said with wild eyes that darted between the ponies in the room and landed on Rarity. “Oh, no! It attacked Rarity and we’re next? Help me, my stallion, keep me safe,” she exclaimed dramatically and feigned fainting to her side.

Snickers looked at Apple Bloom and shook his head. “Pup,” he looked down and winked, “go check if she’s okay.”

They shared a moment and then Pup ran to the filly lying down and snuffled at her; the others watched as Silver Spoon stiffened and her ears moved to follow the wolf’s location around her body. Pup opened her mouth and a set of thorns in place of canines flicked into place like a snakes and with playful care, Pup nibbled on Silver’s foreleg.

“Eek! It’s gonna eat me for real,” Silver shrieked and galloped to Snickers, hiding behind him. “Please, I’m too young and pretty to die.”

“Oh, get over it,” Snickers said to the grey filly and tapped the floor beside himself. “<Pup, c’mere girl.>”

Pup’s ears twitched and she returned to Snickers’s side. A feeling of contentment tingled in Snickers’s chest and he smiled at his pet. “Do you have to speak in <Trade 2>, Snickers?” Diamond Tiara asked.

“<I kinda like it, Sandy Cheeks,>” he replied to Diamond Tiara.

“Woah, did you just talk in that weird language, Diamond?” Scootaloo asked.

“Yeah, he’s been teaching me for a couple days now. It’s really easy, if you’re even a little smart, that is.”

“Hey, you might be my <gay friend>, but you aren’t allowed to talk like that to Scootaloo, got it?”

“Whatever,” Diamond said with a smirk at their multilingual banter, “she’s not even my kind of mare, so whatever. And don’t tell me what to do, <chicken pencil>, you’re not even mare enough to handle me.”

Snickers snickered. “Okay, what you just said was ‘chicken pencil’, but you mean ‘<cock sucker>’, I think. Second, I get that you’re into mares, but you’ve said that word, like, fifty times today. Are you sure you only like mares? Because it sounds like you’re kinda insecure about it; we’re not gonna think any less of you for being bisexual. Right, everypony?”

Rarity rolled to her hooves. “Indeed, as we all know; as long as you’re happy, your lover doesn’t matter. Why, take Isabelle and Grint Westwood. A cow and a gryphon couple that are as adorable as any two ponies, if I have anything to say about it.”

“Hey! He asked me a question, and I’m totally into mares and I totally don’t think he’s cute or kinda sexy at all, so don’t even think I’d be willing to do anything to try something with him to see what it’s like, okay?!”

The room was deathly silent and only Pup’s panting was audible. Scootaloo slapped her forehoof to her head. “Why is it always Snickers?! Seriously, dude,” she looked incredulously at the brown colt, “is it your mane? Your eyes? The fact you can be a total jerk but make friends with everypony you meet?”

Silver Spoon pulled his face to meet hers. “That last one, my prince,” she said and kissed him.

Snickers pulled back and noticed Silver made a point to drag her forehoof across his muzzle and swiped at his nose, just missing as he leaned back. “Hey, I’m not a total jerk anymore, right?” He sniffed the aroma on his muzzle and his eyes unfocused for a second. “Darn it,” he grumbled and bent down to Pup. Pup sniffed at Snickers, then his cheek, then barked happily, seeing this as an invitation by the other female to help grow the pack. An impression struck her and she was compelled to lick the spot that Silver had marked Snickers with her scent.

“Hey, dumb wolf! That’s my gift to him, not yours,” Silver shouted and tried to run around Snickers to strike at Pup, but was held in the air by Rarity’s magic.

“Now, now. None of that in my shop and home, young mare. I’d like it if you could go to Sugarcube Corner and gather Kiwe, it’s approaching supper time and he’s been quite insistent on feeding our family a decent meal; especially since our little survivor here is home. I would dearly appreciate it, Silver Spoon, if you’d try a bit less with attempting to woo my little prince and actually attempted to earn his affection, as well.”

Silver Spoon slumped in the magical aura and sighed. “But, what if he chooses somepony else? What if he gets over me?”

“I was never that into you,” Snickers mumbled.

“Yeah, but she wants you to be,” Scootaloo and Diamond said in unison, then shared a hoof bump. “Nice.”

Silver Spoon pouted at Snickers. “You don’t want me, or even kinda find me attractive?”

Snickers rocked his head from side to side in obvious thought. “Do I have to be honest?”

“...Yes!”

“Can we talk about this in private?” Snickers asked.

“Oh, no way I’m gonna miss this,” Diamond Tiara stated. “She’ll tell us anyway, or maybe even you will; so spill the feels, sappy stuff is hilarious.”

“Cram it in your foal hole, you walking douche advertisement!”

“Snickers?!” Rarity condemned his entire statement with a single look that deflated the colt.

“Sorry, mom! I didn’t mean it, it just slipped out.”

“That’s not all that’s gonna slip out.”

Rarity turned her hostile attention to Diamond Tiara. “Diamond Tiara, one more comment from you of any sexual nature, and I’ll have you banned from my boutique and home for the next two days. Am, I, understood?”

Diamond snerked, but nodded. “Sure thing, won’t hear another joke slip from my mouth. Ugh, excuse me while I wet my lips; they get dry sometimes and a little lick--”

Rarity pointed to the door. “Out! I will have none of your sass, young lady, and it’s not conducive to the resolution of this conversation.”

“Wait, mom! Can’t you just, like… I dunno, sew her lips shut?” Snickers offered. “All of them would be welcome.”

“And as for you, young stallion; no more encouraging this,” she gestured to the fillies around the room, “nonsense! Feelings are going to be hurt and friendships will become frayed, if not broken altogether, if you keep being so contrary and blase about all this. Diamond Tiara, you can wait until we’ve finished this moment, then I kindly ask that you leave without any fuss until at least sunset tomorrow.”

Diamond shrugged, finally taking a more serious demeanor while staying silent.

“Now, Snickers, would you kindly answer Silver Spoon’s question?”

Sweetie stood beside Snickers and Apple Bloom stood by his other side for support. “Fine, there are some things I like about you. I like how honest you are and how you smell when you get close. I like your voice and when you’re just being normal around me and playing and having fun.

“I don’t like when you’re all sexual at me and rubbing your pussy juice on my face,” Rarity frowned at his choice of words, but he ignored it, “I don’t like you talking about my future sexual performance with you. I really don’t like how you keep trying to get me to love you by being bossy and telling me, and everypony, what I’m going to do to you our first time, like it’s going to happen for sure.

“I don’t like when you tell me and everypony when it’s going to happen and then act like I’m going to get you pregnant and we’ll never be apart again, with you as the alpha mare in a herd you’re gonna choose who’s in. Can you please try to remember that I’m an adult of a different race, stuck in the body of a creature I’ve only barely heard a story or two about.

“Not only that, but I’m a child on top of it all here, so all this pushy sex stuff is really…” he looked at the interested looks he was getting, “uncomfortable. I mean, I like it; to a point. But, when it’s all that I get from some ponies, it’s just too much sometimes and I just wanna run away and hide from it all.”

Snickers sat down and crossed his forelegs over his chest. “I mean, I can’t go a single day without some filly talking about me like I’m the last fry in the basket or the last pancake at breakfast. Every part of me is on display and every filly comments on my body, but none of them want to know anything about me, the pony. I’m surrounded by everything I want and ever needed.

“I’m home after a long time lost and thinking I was gonna die a hundred different ways, but I feel so alone right now. Am I really just a body to you, Silver Spoon? Some thing to give you what you want... like your own personal Mr. Ed? Is that all I am in pony society?”

Rarity’s eyes welled with tears and she watched as everypony surrounded Snickers in a hug. “Oh, my word,” she said watching the sullen colt, “is that truly how society has come to see males? Have we gone full circle and are back to those horrific days of our past mistakes?”

Hoofsteps entered the room and Rarity looked back to see her five friends, and Spike riding on Twilight’s back. “Ah rightly don’t know, Rarity, but if we are, then we’re headin’ fer a bad wake up.”

“No, we can still change things,” Twilight said looking at Rarity with compassion, “there has to be a way to find out if other stallions feel the same way.”

Fluttershy stepped forward and ruffled her wings before pulling them tight to her sides before speaking softly. “I… might know a few stallions that can answer, but knowing what may be happening… I really don’t feel I should see them at the moment, given the topic and subject matter.”

Rainbow Dash took wing and hovered in the air. “Okay, so we take a census or have a blind Q and A session where colts and stallions are asked their feelings but they aren’t logged or even seen, like through a curtain or something, and we get honest answers that way. We can also try to use the Marecomtic method to determine the nationwide answers by asking seven percent of random colts and stallions in each city with over four thousand residents.

“The stallions have to be asked the same questions, less than seven questions, and once we have the results from the nation we apply that to the overall stallion population worldwide and then, boom, we have the resulting numbers in percentages with a four percent margin of error… but that was based on a margin from seventy years ago and based on…”

Rainbow blinked and noticed she was tapping her hoof on her chin and standing between the groups with all attention on her. “Uh, I mean…” she looked side to side and felt herself growing anxious. The desire to hide atop a cloud and pretend to nap was increasing with each second that passed.

Twilight stepped forward. “Well, thank you for remembering the lesson on statistics I gave, I thought you weren’t paying any attention, but it seems like you weren’t just doodling in your binder, were you?”

Rainbow stared at Twilight and caught the slightest nudge of her friend’s head. “O-oh, yeah! The lecture you were practicing with me… about that math stuff and all that! I was listening, like a good friend should… because that’s what I am, a good friend that listens to her friend when she lectures about boring egghead stuff.” Rainbow flapped her wings and lazily flew around her group of friends.

“Yeah, there’s no way I’d know that boring stuff otherwise. I’ll probably forget it by tomorrow, now that I got it all out of my brains and stuff. So, we can use that whatever stuff Twilight told me about to get the numbers, then we’ll be made in the shade. Oh yeah, Silver Spoon… stop trying to fuck my little spunk machine or I’ll have to shut you down.”

Applejack bit Rainbow’s tail and yanked, hard. With a loud thud, Rainbow landed on the floor and the reverberations were felt by them all, as well as a quiet rattling sound from the wall shelving. “Rainbow Dash, what did Ah tell ya about cussin’ around them foals?”

“Ow,” Rainbow groaned from the floor as she forced herself up. “AJ, why’re you so rough? You nearly dislocated my shoulder that time?”

Applejack’s expression softened and she stopped herself from taking a step closer. “Ah’m sorry, but Ah asked you a question.”

“...That if I kept doing it you’d give me the silent treatment for a whole day,” Rainbow said, rubbing her left foreleg.

Applejack stepped in and looked at Rainbow’s foreleg, taking it in her own and lifting it. “How’s that, Sugarcube? Ah didn’t hurt ya too bad, did I?”

They shared a look and were close enough to feel their breath against one another’s muzzles. “Nah, it’ll take more than that to keep me down. Why, I’m as tough as an apple tree… I reckon.”

“Gross!” Apple Bloom shouted. “Don’t get like that in front ‘a me, Ah don’t wanna see my sis kissin’ nopony.”

The mares leaned back and every other mare’s hopes were deflated like a balloon letting its air out. “Aww,” was the consensus from them all.

“Shoot, so close,” Pinkie said.

“Well,” Fluttershy said quietly, “I thought it was a nice moment.”

“Excuse me,” Silver Spoon spoke up, “can we focus on Snickers, the real problem here? Oh, I’m so sorry; I didn’t mean problem-problem, I mean that--”

Snickers touched his hoof to lips, his lime green eyes meeting hers for a brief instant before they blinked. “That’s the young mare I like,” he said and glanced at Scootaloo, knowing she’d be the one that got away for a while, but if he waited he might just have a chance in the future.

Silver Spoon leaned back from his hoof so she could speak and placed a forehoof on his chest. “Snickers, if you want me to love you for you, then I’ll do that. And, like, I’ll stop trying to get you to be my first so much… but, it’s gonna be hard not to try.”

“I understand, but we’re all here together, and we can help each other however we need it, right?”

Everypony nodded.

Pinkie hopped in place to get the attention. “Oh, Snickers and his herd! There’s a reason we weren’t here a little bit ago, and Rarity doesn’t know either. There’s a special guest that wants to meet you and is super excited to see you.”

The door opened again and the first thing Snickers felt was an intangible power press all over his body, as though he were near a fusion reactor during start-up. A horn came into view and it didn’t seem to stop in length until the pony it was attached to entered the room. Princess Celestia moved to stand beside Twilight and, the whole while, didn’t stop staring at Snickers, her mouth slightly agape.

“Princess, this young colt is Snickers. He’s the one I’ve been telling you about and he was the one in the pictures I sent you last night.”

Snickers stared back at the being radiating loving warmth that permeated his entire body, and he smiled slowly at the alicorn. “Your mouth’s open, trying to catch a fly?”

All the ponies gasped and Celestia’s mouth closed with a clack of her teeth. Rarity inhaled, ready to scold him again, but a white blur shot past her and Snickers glowed, surrounded by a golden aura that picked him up. Terror clutched everypony’s hearts as they thought, for a split second, that Celestia was about to punish the colt.

Instead, Celestia wrapped him in a hug with forelegs and wings, her eyes began to release warm tears, and she spoke in a shaking voice as she collapsed to her knees and pressed her nose into his mane and inhaled deeply. “Aequalis, it is you! Oh, Sweet Mother on High, it really is.”

Reasoning with a Goddess

“Aequalis, how… how can this be?” Celestia said carefully pulling Snickers tighter to her body, as though he were a porcelain doll and was ready to break.

Snickers looked between the white feathers on the wings that nearly covered him and met Apple Bloom’s eyes where he had a short conversation through a single look that spurred the filly into motion. She ran to Twilight and gently shoved her for the mare’s attention. “Miss Twilight, why’s Princess Celestia actin’ that way ta Snickers?”

Twilight looked quickly from Apple Bloom to her mentor and a dozen thoughts ran through her mind before she donned a stern expression and stood up tall and cleared her throat loudly. “Excuse me, Princess Celestia, but can you explain why you’re hugging Rarity’s adopted foal?”

Celestia kept the motions of rubbing her neck against his and with a slight tightening of her wings around them both, she spoke, “Twilight, friends, and family, how can this be?” Celestia asked and looked back over her shoulder at part of the group. “There must be more that you haven’t told me, some way… a wa-” Celestia choked on a sob and returned her attention to giving her affection to the colt she held.

“Mom?” Snickers nervously asked.

“Yes?” Rarity and Celestia spoke in unison.

The room was quiet, but now even the panting of Pup was hushed and the timberwolf scurried from the room with haste as the temperature rose slightly. Celestia looked back over her shoulder and her eyes met Rarity’s with a power that struck the mares in the room to their very core; an innate desire from ages long past shouted at them to run, escape, flee the danger and trample anypony that got in their way.

In the few seconds that sensation fought to take over the mares, Celestia noticed the fillies walking between herself and the mares she considered honored knights in her service, breaking the spell Celestia was casting over the six adults. Fluttershy rushed to hide behind Rarity and started to cry openly with Rainbow Dash consoling her, even though the brash pegasus was close to doing the same.

Twilight started breathing again and noticed Applejack and Pinkie rush from the room, probably for the same reason she really wanted to do the same; to use the bathroom from such a fright. Her knees and elbows trembled, but she stood her ground under the now kind gaze of Celestia. “Twilight, I apologize for what I just did.

“It was uncalled for and a violation of the trust you put in me, all of you. If you have a question, I will answer to the best of my ability.”

“Yes, p-princess,” Rarity stammered and then cleared her head with a single breath, “why, pray tell, do you see my little pr-” she hesitated and then powered on, “prince as your son, your majesty?” She asked and watched carefully for Celestia’s next action.

Celestia circled around to face the crowd and returned her wings to her sides and let Snickers down onto the floor. He bowed his head to Celstia and then rushed to Rarity, where he was embraced into a warm hug before he gave his attention back to the alicorn. “Mom, is Miss Princess Celestia always like this?”

Rarity shook her head and patted his. “No, darling. At least, not to my knowledge,” she said and looked at Twilight, who shook her head in confirmation. “Why don’t we just see what she has to say.”

Pinkie pronked down the stairs and landed her last pronk with a hop that turned into a skip, one she used to join the others on the floor. “So, what’s the play gonna be about?”

“Pinkie, is that all you can think of at a time like this? Playing after what just happened, what we all felt?” Rainbow said while hugging Fluttershy and helping to quickly quiet the mare and calm both their trembling.

“R-rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy said softly, then whispered into her friend’s ear.

“Yeah, gotcha. We’ll be right back,” Rainbow finally said as she got up and moved with Fluttershy to the stairway for the bathroom upstairs with a hurry to their step; Fluttershy’s wings were clearly tight to her body, so much so they were at the point she would be feeling a cramp soon, if she didn’t relax them.

Snickers looked up the alicorn’s body and when he met her warm, caring, loving eyes he frowned. “Why’re you acting like such a bitch to everypony?” Rarity wrapped him in her forelegs and pulled him close, but he raised a foreleg to stop her from covering his mouth. “Seriously, do you get off on a power trip, making everypony scared of you and being a big bully?!”

Rainbow zoomed in and held her hoof over his mouth. “We’re so sorry, Princess! He talks before he thinks and has a lot of bad words, he doesn’t mean anything by it.” She looked at her friends and then landed. “It’s my fault, I taught him a bunch of bad words that colts and stallions shouldn’t use; punish me, Princess.”

Just as the mares started defending one another, Princess Celestia’s horn began to glow and everypony in the room went quiet, preparing for whatever the spell may be. “My little ponies, please calm yourselves. I have no intention of punishing anypony,” her regal stature returned and her wings crept open while she avoided looking at Snickers.

“As far as Aequalis is concer-,” Celestia’s voice hitched, “concerned, I would appreciate knowing, in full, what he is doing here, and why he is under the care of Lady Rarity.”

“Excuse me, Princess,” Twilight spoke up and moved to the forefront of her friends and the fillies while Rarity held Snickers close to her and kept him quiet with a magic silencing spell, “I believe I explained that in my fourth letter to you.”

Celesita’s eyes blinked and shimmered with wetness when she met Snickers’s eyes again. “But, he’s here. He’s well, and healthy, and doesn’t even bear the mark where…” Celestia flinched and looked aside with her head lowered.

Snickers flicked his forehoof up and struck Rarity’s horn. With a surprised, and slightly pained, yelp, Snickers was freed from his bubble of silence. “Who are you to me?” He asked. “I’ve been through a lot, but if you give me some crap story about me being a long lost alicorn, I’m gonna freak out. And Rainbow didn’t have anything to do with my language, I talk how the fuck I feel like,” he glanced at Rarity and then swallowed loudly. “But, I’m getting better,” he finished in a calm and quieter voice.

Sweetie stepped beside him. “Yeah, and we have enough bits in his jar to take a train to Vanhoover for their Season Change Festival!”

“No, you do not,” Rarity stated and the gathering of fillies groaned and whined their disappointment. “I’m sorry, but I’m not supervising nearly ten foals on a trip to a major metropolis; not to mention the bits would only cover the train, not food or lodging. Not to mention anything else that may come up.”

Celestia’s gaze stayed on Snickers and she trembled as she held back roiling emotions she hadn’t felt for years; centuries at this level of turmoil. “Aequalis, surely you remember me, you must!” Celestia pleaded and lowered to her belly and ducked her head to look at him at eye level. Her muzzle was as large as his body and it hurt her even more to make the split second comparison.

Snickers narrowed his eyes and spoke scornfully. “My name’s Snickers, not Aequalis. Get it right, lady.”

Celestia’s head dropped to the floor and she exhaled another shaky breath as tears left her eyes in slow but steady rivulets. “Oh, my son; what has happened to you over the centuries we’ve been apart?”

“Son?!” The room chorused in near harmony.

“Wait, wait! So, you’re saying that I’m in love with a real prince of Equestria?!” Silver Spoon grinned and stumbled to Scootaloo, who rolled her eyes and held the dazed filly.

“Awesome! My <sorta gay> friend is a prince. Hey, Princie, can you take me to a party so I can meet some hot mares?”

Other comments and questions flooded the colt’s ears and head until he covered his ears with his forehooves after ducking under Rarity. Rarity, for her part, blushed lightly at the thought of being the parent to a real member of the royal family and what it could mean for her fashion lines in the future.

Twilight’s voice cut through the chatter like a knife through a rock, so she turned to Pinkie Pie for help in gathering the ponies in the room’s attention. Pinkie nodded and flipped over herself, landing with cymbals on her forehooves. She spread her forelegs apart as far as she could, then brought them together with a resounding tone that cut into each pony’s ears like a screaming tornado.

“Hey everypony, Twilight wants to say something!” Pinkie shouted to the quiet room. “Got ‘em warmed up for you, Twi.”

“Uh, thanks, Pinkie. Okay, everypony… I think some explanation is due as to why Snickers is also called Aequalis, and what that means to Princess Celestia.”

Princess Celestia’s posture, wings, and expression changed making her look like she aged ten years in a few seconds. Celestia sighed and sat up slowly, glanced at Snickers, then sniffled. “He is my son. Two hundred years ago he lived to four years old, then… he died,” she covered her face with her foreleg and the mares fell into the story Celestia was telling with all their emotions on display.

“Medical science had not advanced over a thousand years and when he fell ill, my darling Aequalis was treated by the best medical help in the land. He died beside me two weeks after falling ill and the reason wasn’t discovered until the following day; it was discovered he had a small hole in his heart, a murmur, they now call it.”

All eyes and attention snapped to Snickers, who sat and crossed his forelegs while Celestia went on. “They tried leeching, blood letting, potions, and prayer; all useless and, in the end, it was something a spell nearly everypony now knows that could have healed him and given us a true prince in line for the throne of Equestria.

I funneled tens of thousands of bits into medical science so that no pony or creature would have to suffer from the pain I had felt… but now, Aequalis, you’re back and I can be the mother I--”

Snickers scoffed. “I’m not Aqua-whatever, I chose the name Snickers because that’s who I am here. If it’s been hundreds of years, then I probably just look like this colt of yours.”

Celestia shook her head. “No; the scent, the voice, your appearance is the same, and that’s not chance; that is fate. You have been returned to me and I shall make up for lost time, Aequalis.”

“Stop calling me that!” Snickers shouted and stomped the floor.

His fillies moved to surround him. “He’s our herd stallion, you can’t take him from us, Princess,” Scootaloo stated factually.

“Yeah, we need him,” Apple Bloom added.

“He’s everything to me, don’t take him away before I can show him my true love,” Silver Spoon pleaded and fell to her chest in a sloppy bow.

Celestia looked at the fillies, then to the mares. “I understand your hesitation, but this is how it must be. I’ve been without my son for too long and there is a lot to make up for.”

Applejack moved to stand beside Twilight. “Princess, there’s a lot ya don’t know yet about this here colt. Ah really think ya should listen ta us all before ya up and snatch him from the life he’s gotten ta havin’. Ya only gave a little piece of yer side, and there’s a whole heap a hay missin’ ta this whole story.”

Snickers nodded. “Yeah, I mean, I don’t even know you yet, but you’re not making a good impression by showing up and then telling us you’re gonna kidnap me and not let me see anypony I know, just because I look like your kid.”

Celestia’s wings rose again and she retook her regal stance. “Very well, I will listen to your telling of recent events. Should they prove your case, then I will withdraw my claim to Aequalis until a time of his choosing to return to my side.”

Diamond Tiara raised a foreleg. “Um, what’s Aequalis mean? It sounds like water, maybe?”

Celestia smiled a small smile. “You think like a future scholar, but you are incorrect. His full name is Aequalis Solis Lunaeque, which means The Sun is Equal to the Moon in old Ponish.”

Most of the females in the room aww’ed at the name while Snickers looked up and thought it over. “Yeah, I can see that making sense. But, that’s still not my name and not me. I’m not a time traveler,” he said looking into Celestia’s eyes, “the Harmony trio pulled me here and made me a pony.”

Celestia’s eyes widened and her ears directed themselves at the colt. “What did you say?”

“Oh, you know those fuckers?” Snickers said, then was reminded of a unique pain as his ear was pulled by Rarity’s magic.

“What have I told you of such language? And in front of the Princess?!” Rarity scolded.

Snickers moved and tried to lessen the sharp stinging pain Rarity was giving him. “Ow, mom, ow, ow, stop, I’m sorry!”

The room was heated by a wave of energy that expanded across every pony in the room. The fillies screamed and the mares covered their faces. “Release my son or I shall add your ashes to the gates of Tartarus!” Celestia’s Royal Canterlot Voice boomed and shattered a window as well as one of Fluttershy’s eardrums. Fluttershy cried out while everypony covered their ears and cowered down to the floor in supplicant fear of the ruling goddess’s threat.

Celestia looked at the ponies and her heart ached seeing them all afraid, if not terrified, of her. She lit her horn and the window repaired itself, as well as Fluttershy’s damaged ear, even though only Fluttershy knew it had been ruptured. “My little ponies, I apologize for what just happened and there’s no excuse for it.

“I have healed all of you of any injuries you may have received from my rash action and will refrain from using offensive magic for the remainder of this conversation.”

The had fillies gathered around Snickers and helped him up to stand while shooting Celestia displeased looks, bringing a sense of shame to the immortal mare. In the meantime, it took several seconds before Twilight was able to rise from the floor and answer, “P-princess Celestia, Harmony seems to have taken a liking to Snickers and have tested him several times over the past month he’s been under Rarity’s care.”

“Rarity has been a fantastic mother and has made great strides to care for Snickers as a parent would their child, and less like an obligation demanded by the State to do a job,” Fluttershy added.

“Yeah, this kid’s got more radical in his left hoof than some adults I know have in their hind legs,” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, then looked quickly to Applejack, “not you! Your legs are fine. I mean they look great, er… I’m gonna shut up now.”

Celestia giggled quietly to herself. “Very well, tell me of the Trials the mares have sent you through?”

“Princess Celestia,” Sweetie raised a foreleg like in class, “actually they’re stallions. I saw them and they weren’t mares.”

Scootaloo frowned. “Yeah, awful stallions. I’m glad I gelded one and skinned the other’s penis like peeling a carrot.”

Snickers nodded firmly while everypony else grimaced at the thought. “Yeah, that was awesome; you saved us from a horrible rape.”

Celestia’s mane began to shift to orange the more the foals talked until the attention was on her again. “Harmony were stallions for you, Aequalis? And they attempted to force themselves on you; like monsters that grace the deepest pits of my dungeons?”

Snickers nodded. “Yeah, but we got away and they were too busy crying to do anything but suffer,” he smirked.
Scootaloo hugged Snickers. “And Snickers taught me to love and accept myself for me, and not for my past. This colt is the best thing to happen to a lot of us and you can’t just take him away,” she said and as if on cue, every foal gave Celestia their best puppy expression.

Celestia’s gaze shifted between the ponies and finally stopped on Snickers, then she nodded. “You all make fair points so far, however what am I to take from this letter sent to the EFS from Fluttershy?” Celestia magicked a letter from the aether beside her head, facing the ponies. “In it, she states that Rarity is not mature or caring enough, at the time of the letter, to raise a foal, much less her sister in her parent’s absence?”

Attention turned to Fluttershy, who whimpered and curled onto herself on the floor while sitting and looking away. “I’m sorry, I was so upset and--”

“And this letter from an anonymous mare that states Snickers has the most foul mouth of any pony she’s ever come across, especially in public. Or this one that states he was in a fight with a filly named Diamond Tiara and broke her muzzle, the filly needed to be casted and now resides in the hospital under constant care.

“Swearing at an infant, urinating and defecating in public, proudly exposing him penis to ponies as he walks through town while flirting with mares and fillies and asks for sexual favors in exchange for hayburgers, swearing in school, threatening, instigating, dishonesty, deception, theft, destruction of public property!”

The papers filed together as magic flashed more and more letters into their group until they finally stopped and Celestia held them sideways and looked at the mares. “One hundred and seventy six letters about Aequ-... Snickers’s attitude and manner over the past month while under the care of an Element of Harmony.

“I ask you all, is this what Aequalis needs to be taught while under Rarity’s care?”

“Hey,” Silver Spoon started, then every other filly joined in shouting their disagreements to defend his honor.

“I’m not hurt too bad, see?” “He never dedicated whatever, I was with him, I can vouch for him.” “He hardly cusses anymore, honest.” “He’s never said bad words to a baby, he’d have told me because he tells me everything.”

“He’s gay! Honest; he’s the best colt and he’d never hurt a filly.”

The crowd fell quiet and all eyes turned to Diamond Tiara, then they looked at Snickers, who had his forehoof to his head and was shaking it.

Attention returned to the princess when she began to speak with finality. “With all the evidence I have against you as a parent, what reason have you to offer in your defense?” Celestia challenged.

Rarity’s eyes were brimming as she looked between her friends, desperate for help that she couldn’t provide on her own. Each of her friends looked between one another, then they moved to stand beside Rarity. Rainbow stepped forward a step and spoke up. “We have been with Rarity since Snickers came into her life, we’ve helped her as friends from the start and we’ve watched her grow as a mare, mother, and pony.”

Twilight stepped forward beside Rainbow Dash. “All the while, she’s helped this little colt change from a crass, rude, mean spirited stranger into a mostly normal colt that I’m proud to have in my library as a research assistant into new avenues that I never imagined.”

Fluttershy was next to act. “He was the most hurt and sad pony I’d ever seen, and when we first met he thought I was an angel sent to save and guide him. But, we’ve helped him to understand Rarity is the guide he needs in his life and he’s taken to her like a bird to the currents. He’s a part of a family now, your highness.”

Pinkie hopped up next and landed between Rainbow and Rarity, draping a foreleg over the white mare. “This mare has mommy written all over her, it’s just under her fur where you can’t see it. Want me to show you?” Pinkie said brandishing and turning on an electric shaver.

“No!” Was the consensus.

Pinkie turned it off with a clack from the device and tossed it behind her where it turned back on the sound of hair being sheared off prickled each equine’s nerves. Rarity quickly looked behind herself and exhaled in relief when she noticed it was just a little bit of Pinkie’s tail that had been cut. “Really, Pinkie Pie, must you be so…” she quietly grumbled at the word that wouldn’t come to her.

Pinkie giggled and shrugged. “Meh, it’ll grow back. What’s really important is that this mare is mommy material and this little colt; we can call him Rarity’s Colt, for reasons,” Pinkie winked to the side, “is just what this mama bear needs. Why, she nearly threw Twilight through a wall when Twilight accidentally took away his ability to talk.”

Celestia’s eyes narrowed at Twilight and she spoke with a firm voice, like a parent scolding their child for doing something knowingly naughty. “You did what to Aequalis, Twilight Sparkle?”

Snickers hopped from sitting and landed in a short gallop to stand between Celestia and Twilight and Rarity, who were standing side by side. “Hold up! It’s fine, I’m fine. <And I can talk in my old language, too, now.> It’s not a problem at all.”

Celestia whinnied in surprise and stepped back. “What language is that, Aequalis? What has happened to you in your absence?”

“Nothing, Princess! I’m not Aequalis, I’m just me; and I’m not gonna go away with you without you having to take me and make me stay with you. And I’ll show you that I’m not okay with being taken from my family.” Snickers said without breaking eye contact with Celestia. He waved his herd over and the fillies surrounded him and stood between Celestia and the mares with pride.

“We’re staying by Snickers’s side and if you take him, you’re gonna have to take all of us.”

Applejack ruffled Apple Bloom’s mane. “Now, that’s what an Apple is all about. Ya heard us, Princess. We’re all standin’ by one another and we’d like ya ta rethink takin’ Snickers here from the family he has and continues ta grow with. Ah’d bet every acre of land in my family’s name that he’d be better off becomin’ a better pony here with us and Rarity then in the wilds he was found in or with any other pony.”

Celestia looked at the gathering and her heart sank. “Very well, you leave me no choice… Aequalis, you will be allowed to stay here as Rarity’s colt, however, if you step out of line and I receive more reports such as these,” she lifted the stack of papers and fanned them for the ponies to see, “then I shall have no choice but to take him from your care.”

Celestia looked intently at the ponies in the showroom. “If you believe in him, and yourselves, then it should show by the Hearths Warming Eve pageant we’ll all be attending in Canterlot in three months time.”

The whole gathering nodded and bowed. “Yes, your highness,” they almost all said.

Snickers stood and turned to hug Rarity, who was quickly at the center of a giant hug that Celestia averted her gaze from. “Twilight Sparkle, a moment please?” She asked and walked further into the shop without waiting.

Snickers sighed and inhaled Rarity’s scent, exhaling some stress from the recent event. “Mom, I think I’ll start wearing pants now,” he said and he was surrounded by giggles.

Puppy Power

Snickers pet Pup while he watched Twilight and Celestia talk inside a purple shield sparkling with a golden haze that shrouded both mares in shadow and nullified all sound they made and probably heard. The wolf wasn’t calm, Snickers could feel it as a sensation in his mind that he couldn’t explain to himself or completely understand.

Psionics were something of a specialty in his experience, and it wasn’t one of his. At best he could feel deja vu once in a while, but that amounted to little more than a feeling. His mother was more adept, being able to sense an event a few seconds or less before it happened while some people were trained from a young age and could see across space to events happening behind the most sealed rooms and doors.

Snickers equated his current sensations with Pup being nothing like anything he’d heard of or experienced beyond a close bond between friends or lovers that could sense how the other felt, but even those were supposed to be fleeting and fickle; he could feel the nervousness Pup felt as the wolf stared at the dome with unerring attention.

Snickers gave Pup a push. “Hey, c’mon, girl. Let’s let them have their thing. I have to introduce you to Kiwe,” Snickers said and smiled softly as Pup relaxed visibly and emotionally at his command. “Good girl,” he said and stood up again. “Hey, girls? I’m gonna go get Kiwe, if that’s okay with you all, darlings.”

Snickers squeezed his eyes closed as the words left his mouth and the mares kept their conversations going while their attention slightly focused on the colt; the fillies giggled en mass. “Oh, don’t worry about a thing, dah-ling,” Scootaloo teased, “I wouldn’t dream of stopping you, dah-ling.”

“No, no, it’s more like this,” Diamond Tiara butted in, “oh, woe is me, dah-links, for never shall I find the mare of my dreams,” she swooned and fell into Scootaloo’s forelegs.

Rainbow laughed and pointed at Rarity. “That is so you! They must practice to get it so good,” she laughed and the others giggled, even Fluttershy, though behind a forehoof to be polite.

“Well,” Rarity huffed, “I must say that mockery is a sincere form of flattery, so I thank you for showing me some of the respect I deserve. Now, if you wouldn’t mind; could you stop teasing Snickers for the way he speaks, even though it is with more eloquence than most of you may ever have,” she lifted her chin and turned back to Fluttershy. “As I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted…”

Snickers sighed. “Well, let’s face it; I’m talking like mom now,” he shrugged. “But, I should go get Kiwe and let him meet Pup and maybe Celestia, too. Hey, where’s Sweetie Belle?”

Scootaloo helped Diamond stand again. “She ran out as soon as you said his name, she’s really into him,” Scootaloo smirked and shared a wink with Diamond.

Silver Spoon walked around the two and stood beside Snickers. “So, no joke about you know what?”

Snickers shook his head. “No, I have to stop being so crass, lest the scales tip against my favor. Dang,” he said quietly, “I’m really talking like her, aren’t I?”

Silver Spoon gave Snickers a side hug. “It’s okay, I’ll be here with you through it all.”

Diamond Tiara and Scootaloo nodded. “Us, too,” they said in unison and shared a big smile. “Jinx! Jinx again! Jinx, jinx, jinx, jinx!”

Pinkie landed beside the fillies and quickly moved her hooves between them and hopped back when she was done. “There! Now you’re both jinxed!”

Snickers and Silver Spoon snerked and then laughed, leaning on one another when they saw the two loosely leashed to one another.

“Hey, this isn’t funny! Get this bridle off me,” Diamond Tiara demanded and pulled, only to find that it was just tight enough to not get over her head.

Pinkie shook her head. “Nope, you have to work together to get it off. That way you can be friends and the soda's on me back at Sugarcube Corner.”

Celestia walked up with Twilight beside her, the unicorn looking somewhat sullen like a scolded puppy that didn’t understand why, but knew it was in some trouble, tangentially from what the other ponies in the room didn’t know.

“My little ponies, my dear student, Twilight, has helped me understand that I am out of sorts at the moment and should take time to gather my thoughts and Self before I interact with Aequalis again. As far as my time here,” she looked at Snickers with sad eyes, “I must take my leave. I have a lot of work to do back in Canterlot and being here, around… all of you is an unnecessary distraction.

“Girls, fillies, and…” Celestia winced a little, “I wish you all well and the best of days ahead. If you need anything from me,” she looked at Snickers while she spoke, “you need only ask and it shall be done as fast as I can have it done. Young Spike, if Snickers ever comes with a letter for me, you will send it without asking or waiting, yes?”

Celestia, without waiting for Spike to answer from his spot out of the way and against the wall, cantered from the group of ponies and she left the room in silence.

“Well, being a prince is gonna be interesting,” Snickers said into the silence, “but can we keep it between us? We don’t need the attention, do we?”

The mares and Spike shook their heads. “No thank ya, kindly. Ah had a mess’a attention when Nightmare Moon was dealt with and Ah ain’t one fer the limelight.”

Rainbow puffed her chest a bit. “I could use a little more attention from the press. The Wonderbolts read the papers, afterall. I can use the clips and photos in my applications when I send them on the 17th of the month.”

Fluttershy eeped and hid behind her mane, whimpering quiet words none of them could hear. Twilight spoke next and last. “Then it’s settled, we won’t bring up Prince Snickers Aequalis Solis Lunaeque, of House Belle again,” Twilight tittered and let it grow into a giggle when she saw the various looks she was getting from everypony in the room.

When Twilight saw Pup’s expression nearly matching Snickers’s, she broke into laughter and had to rest a forehoof against Rarity to keep standing while Snickers and many others rolled their eyes.

Rarity looked at the foals and then glanced at the cat clock set on the wall. “Well, it’s nearly five in the evening, so if you have any plans before nightfall, I suggest you do them before it becomes too late. Supper is at 6:30 and Kiwe will be here to begin cooking another wonderful meal, especially since Snickers is back.”

Snickers hugged Rarity and then galloped from the room and out the door after Celestia, who was standing over a balking brown zony with a kind smile. “...and you say you’re a chef, at your age?”

Kiwe nodded. “Yes, your highness. I am seven years of age and have traveled across the land and across the seas to try the cuisines the world has to offer.”

Celestia nodded. “I understand, and I wish you the best of luck. If you receive a mark, perhaps you can apply to work at our castle. I apologize, and it was nice to meet you, but I must go. Farewell, Azikiwe.”

Celestia walked past him and onto the chariot. She was whisked into the air promptly and was a shrinking sight in the sky, flanked by armed pegasi.

“Kiwe! I’m glad you got to meet Princess Celestia,” Diamond Tiara said, “I know you had a thing for meeting her,” she grinned, “I can’t believe I met the princess! This is going right into my diary as soon as I get into bed tonight...” she smirked devilishly, “and I’ll need a hot bath to clean up before I go to sleep.”

Kiwe’s eyes widened and he blushed. Sweetie Belle pushed Rarity aside to keep him in her view; with a sigh, Sweetie let her mind wander about snuggling with him and maybe sharing a picnic under a tree by a burbling creek on top of a hill, alone without anypony around for fifteen minutes trot in any direction.

She even thought about him nuzzling her under her chin and the mental image made her giggle and blush while hugging herself.

Silver Spoon stopped beside Diamond and looked at the princess being ferried away. “I can’t believe I know a prince,” she said quietly so she wouldn’t be heard by ponies that were standing around and watching the princess leave and beginning to resume their day.

“I can’t believe it’s not butter,” Pinkie said, biting into a warm slice of bread. “Anyway, this has been one loco day and I think I’d better go meet a friend before he thinks I forgot I said I’d see him before sunset. You think he’d know I keep my word, even after he told me to leave him alone and to stop inviting him to my parties,” she snortled and hopped away.

“Whatever she’s on, she can keep it to herself,” Snickers said, “and I’m getting her an energy drink for her birthday.”

Scootaloo laughed. “You’d better be out of town when she drinks it; she had one once and it took two days to clean the town up from the party she threw.”

Sweetie Belle nodded. “Yeah, but she made the houses taste like… what’d she call the flavor, Apple Bloom?”

“Snozberries,” the filly answered, “whatever those are, Ah’d hate ta have ta clean them up, they turned mah family barn yellow and pink polkadots fer days.”

“But they sure tasted good,” Rainbow said hovering over Snickers, “I licked that wall like…” she clearly stopped herself and crossed all her legs, “nothing. Like nothing at all, right, Aj?”

“Exactly what Ah wanted ta hear from ya, Rainbow. Ah don’t wanna hear another thing about ya teachin’ these foals mare’s talk; let’m be their age.”

Rainbow nodded. “Yeah, I know. Hey, I’m sorry, Spunky, I got out of line and I won’t treat you like an adult anymore, er, like a mare, anyway. You can be treated like an adult, just not,” she groaned, “you know what I mean.”

Snickers nodded. “Yeah, so, I’ve got an hour and some to try for a cutie mark, so I’ve gotta go.”

The CmC gasped and screamed happily, running to Snickers and hugging him.

Applejack and Rarity smiled and watched the four run into town, then looked at Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara. “Ah’m hopin’ y’all’re gonna keep an eye on them and stop them from doin’ any damage.”

Diamond and Silver shared a look and shrug. “I can keep an eye on Snickers and you can watch Scootaloo,” Diamond offered. Silver was prepared to protest, then nodded. “Sounds good, let’s go keep them from making another catapult, or something.”

“Ugh, like, why do they have to be so crazy about their marks, anyway?” Silver Spoon started talking as she and her friend quickly followed the CmC’s trail of dust and a random mare’s scream of surprise.

***

Pup trotted beside Snickers on his way to school, panting regularly yet still scaring the adults into creating a straight path as the colt walked. Scootaloo and Silver Spoon were walking ahead of him with Sweetie and Diamond Tiara taking the rear of their formation. Snickers noticed, even though it didn’t seem any of the others had.

The fillies had created a safety box around him, from every angle of danger he was able to be protected by a filly or timberwolf puppy. Scootaloo would glance at the sky every so often while Silver Spoon would use flipping her mane, adjusting her glasses, or rolling her eyes to look at different ponies.

Snickers had glanced back and noticed the same from Diamond Tiara and Sweetie Belle, they had everything covered and if a pegasi were to fall, the ones behind him could push him out of the way, the ones ahead could turn back and use their bodies as shields and were perfect for bucking anypony that got too close. Scootaloo had the advantage of flight, or she would if she actually could have flown, as well.

The fillies in the back would be able to use magic and buck, all while watching one another’s backs for any other attackers.

Or, maybe they’re just where they are because they’re there and I’m over thinking this, Snickers smirked to himself. A sense of curiosity tingled inside Snickers and he looked aside and down at Pup. “Oh, just thinking about stuff. So, ready for your first day of school?”

Pup barked. She didn’t know where she was being taken, but she was with her pack and Alpha was happy, so she was happy. Her spirit was bound to his now, she could feel what he felt as long as he wanted her to, and she’d always share her feelings. They could even share brief images of thought, something she didn’t know creatures of the land could do.

At times Pup wondered what her abilities as a bound spirit were and what limits she’d have, then there were times like this; where nothing bothered the pack and the others stayed away like the omega’s they were. ‘Stay back from Alpha, he’s on a hunt’, Pup barked happily. Her nose made a whistling sound as she sniffed the air and an image of Apple Bloom’s bow flashed into Snickers’s mind.

“<What was that, Pup>?”

“Howdy, sorry Ah’m late, there was a bushel of apples that broke and Ah had ta get a new one and pack’m up. So, goin’ ta school again, huh? Ya know, you’ve missed half the days ya’ve been goin’, right?”

Snickers pointed to himself. “What, me? Nah, I’m just too cool for school. I can get a cutie mark shoveling manure if I just skip the rest of the year.”

The CmC gasped and stopped the precession, each of the three fillies looking to their flanks in abject horror, then relief akin to peeing in the morning after drinking too much water before bed. “Thank Celestia,” Sweetie muttered.

“Yeah, reckon there’s only one thing related ta that bein’ anywhere near there if Ah have a say on it.”

Scootaloo reached Sweetie and Apple Bloom. “Yeah, and it’s not something I want to think about, so let’s get to school. AB, you take center with Snickers and Pup.”

…

“No! Your… pet cannot stay in class, Snickers. Leash… er, muzzle… just…” Cheerilee growled and dragged her hooves down her face in frustration. No matter what she did, she was in a losing position. Keep the carnivorous plant beast in the room and risk it attacking a foal, or send it out without it’s owner and let it rampage around Ponyville.

And sending Snickers out of school wasn’t on the table, not after all the schooling he’d already missed. She sat on the floor and took what should have been a calming breath. “Snickers, can you please have your… wolf--”

“Pup! Her name’s Pup, until I change it later. I know she’s not gonna be a pup forever, right, Miss Cheerilee?” Snickers said, still petting Pup on her uneven wooden back.

“Yes, can you have Pup sit against the wall by the open window, please? Then take your seat, we have a lot to cover and you have a lot of learning to do to catch up, young stallion.”

Snickers smiled widely as he took his seat. “Alright! Are we gonna start with math, science, or writing skills?”

Miss Cheerilee shook her head. “No, we’re going to begin today by discussing how pegasi make it rain. Ready your notebooks, children, there may be a test on this later.”

Snickers noticed Sweetie Belle trying to cast a spell to pick up her pencil so he raised his foreleg. “Miss Cheerilee?”

“Yes, Snickers?”

“When is there unicorn or pegasus magic training? I haven’t heard anything about that and I know unicorns have the power but just lack the focus, so... yeah, that’s my question.”

Cheerilee stood still and her ears flicked while she seemed to think hard on the question. “Huh, you know, I don’t know the answer to that, but I’ll make a note and ask about it after school. Maybe we can have a guest speaker come in and spend some of her time showing us how to cast spells or meditate.”

Cheerilee made a note and nodded appreciatively at Snickers before returning to the blackboard. “Now, class… this is the base coloration of a rainbow…”

Snickers sat tall in his seat, pride practically glowing from himself as he looked side to side and saw approving looks from the other children in class, the fillies returned their attention to the front but a rough shod hoof poked Snickers’s neck. “Hey,” the voice of an awkward teenage boy struck him. “Hey,” Snails dragged the whisper out longer.

Snickers turned his ear back to show he was giving at least some attention. “That was really cool how you got the teacher to give us another few seconds, can you do it again?”

“Yeah,” Snips added in with his nasally voice, “do it enough and we’ll practically get a whole day off at the end of the year.”

Snickers leaned forward and rested his chin on his hooves. “Hey, Snips, do you think he heard us?”

“I don’t know, Snails. He might have heard something about my part, but what about yours? Should we ask him again?”

“I don’t know, why’re you asking me?”

“I don’t know?!”

“Boys,” Miss Cheerilee said sternly and loudly over the volume the colts were reaching, “whatever you’re talking about, is it important enough to hold school up for?”

“Gyeah.” “No.” The colts looked at one another and changed their answers.

“Boys, that’s enough. If you won’t be quiet for the sake of your classmates, then I’ll separate you for the remainder of class.” Snips and Snails sat ramrod straight. “That’s more like it. You may relax, but don’t let me catch you talking between one another again. And no notes, either,” she finalized her statement with a stomp and both colts’ hooves returned to the surface of their desk, a single sheet of blank paper drifting to the floor between them.

Pup’s attention was on the falling paper and she ran to it, catching it in her mouth happily. She didn’t understand why the small creatures were making loud noises, but it wasn’t disagreeable; it reminded her of the way trees would talk to the sky for water. Only a bit more painful on her ears.

Snickers and Cheerilee stood side by side and held Pup between them as the class tried to stampede through the closed door. The class made a nice pile of foals trying to push a pull door in their panic. “Oi, cram it!” Pipsqueak shouted in a voice the belied his size. “The wooden doggies just got a hankerin’ for some paper, I’d wager bits ta buttons. Lookit,” he said pointing a spotted foreleg at the wolf chewing the paper into a pulp.

The room calmed and now Cheerilee knew she’d lost the day, but for a much better reason. “Well, I don’t know why I didn’t think of this earlier. Snickers, would you like to show and tell us about… uh, what’s it’s name again?”

“Her name, Miss Cheerilee, is Pup, but I’m gonna change it soon. She won’t be a pup forever and she’s already a few inches bigger than when I got back to town a couple days ago. Twilight says Pup’s growing at an exponential rate and if she doesn’t stop, she’ll be as large as an ursa minor by winter fall.”

The class gasped and their expressions turned to grins. “Cool.” They all said, various images of a giant wooden dog hopping over houses, chasing away a monster, or barking at an unworthy mare trying to join as a herd mother, among others, filled their minds. They all started talking at once, asking, advising, and offering things to Snickers and Pup at first, then it spread to who was known as being in her herd, even if they adamantly weren’t.

“Stop it, get back,” Diamond glowered and waved her forelegs as foals got too close to her tiara, offering to polish it in exchange for something lost in the crowd. Silver Spoon moved beside Diamond, Scootaloo moved beside Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom moved beside Snickers, who noticed that the fillies had formed a wall protecting him.

Pup stood proud beside him and, sensing no ill will, happily wagged her tail and shuffled back with her pack from the joyful others. Alpha, can I play, too? Pup thought and barked. Picking up on the growing excitement in Pup, Snickers looked aside and shook his head. Pup’s twiggy ears drooped and her glowing green eyes widened.

Pup’s attempt was a moot point because Snickers could feel the hope covering the deception coming from her and he didn’t waver, ignoring her look that would have worked on any other creature. Opting to try her paw at pouting, she increased the size of the wood on her lower jaw, creating a small rounded lip that protruded from her maw and whimpered.

The room was filled with a collective ‘aww’ when everypony saw Pup and Zipporwhill even wiped a tear that had suddenly formed in her eye. “Zat is so adorable! He will liek my poppy to play with.”

“No, mine!” “I have a cat he’d like.” “My bird.” “My pet snail.” “Ew, my pet.” “No, mine!”

Snickers gave his attention to Pup with a spark of anger that burnt into Pup’s spirit and hurt her metaphysically. <Stop doing that, you’re just making them like you more. We need them to respect you, not love you>.” He hissed quietly.

Pup’s eyes returned to normal and then the light dimmed, narrowing. She growled quietly, but it was enough to quiet the room. Unsure ponies looked from the wolf to Snickers. “Don’t worry, just give her space. You know what they say about a cornered animal, right?” He waited and looked at the unknowing expressions. “They’ll attack if cornered, so back up and don’t get pushy again, she’s protective like a good dog.”

The words were taken to heart as the class now saw an uncertain tamed predator in their midst, one with the reputation of being vicious pony eating monsters that showed no mercy.

“On that note, class, let’s get back to the lesson. Everypony, please take your seats. Snickers, can you keep Pup under control until we take recess?”

Snickers pat Pup on her head. “Yes, Miss Cheerilee,” he said in a droning tone that the mare understood as reluctant acceptance of her authority; regardless of rumors of his origins, she was still the adult and he was certainly a colt under her guardianship for the next few hours. She returned to the board and sighed while picking up the chalk. Two o’clock can’t come soon enough.

…

Snickers sat in the shade of the trees as he liked to do, only with Pup playfully chasing a pair of happily screaming fillies. If he weren’t made from wood, he’d be just a normal dog chasing girls for fun. Snickers’s ear drooped and he smirked. Naughty Pup, chasing filly tail.

Pup sped up and started trying to bite the fillies’ tails and Snickers clenched his teeth. No, I didn’t mean that! I was being… inappropriate.

Pup resumed her play chase and took a corner better than the fillies, shouldering one into the other, toppling over and with them. Snickers felt Diamond against his side and leaned into her. “<What’s up>?”

Diamond was quiet for a moment. “<Nuts singing>.”

“<Nothing>, you meant to say. You said, uh, walnuts singing, I think.”

“Hey, it’s your dumb language, why don’t you speak both better and think less?”

“Why don’t you stink less?” Snickers replied.

“Stink? Is that what you think, that I stink? Because, let me tell you--”

“Rit-dit-dit-dit-dit-doo,” Snickers interrupted getting a swat from Diamond’s tail on his backside.

“Jerk.”

“You rhymed, it’s a rule I had to stop you before you broke into song.”

“That doesn’t just happen, there has to be a reason,” Diamond said, her eyes moving to find Pup and darting around until she saw a small cluster of foals. “Rhyming isn’t a reason.”

“No, but it’s a start.”

Sweetie Belle walked into view from behind Snickers with Scootaloo and Apple Bloom following. “What’ve you got against heart songs?”

Snickers looked at the trio. “Did you wash your hooves?”

They each lifted a forehoof and looked at it, then one another. “Yes,” they chorused.

“Really?” Snickers said looking back at Silver Spoon as she approached. “Where did you wash in the woods, exactly? No, don’t start. I don’t want any of you touching me with unclean hooves, and I’d prefer if you’d wash regardless, especially after relieving yourselves in the woods, of all places.”

Scootaloo nickered and stepped closer to him. “You know, you’re more of a jerk since you started acting like Rarity.”

Snickers let his emotions show and stood up, his shirt trailing fresh grass. “Excuse me, but you wanted me to be less like the bad mouthed ass I was, so I start behaving a little better and now I’m my mother?” he said with restrained frustration.

Scootaloo reached foreward and wiped the tip of her forehoof on his shirt, maring the white with a small line of mud. “You aren’t her, but you’re not you.”

Snickers looked at his shirt and then to Sweetie Belle, feeling his growing fury stop and dampen. Silver Spoon nuzzled him from the side and he smelled her on the air. “Snickers, sit back down, you’re gonna say or do something you might not like.”

He nodded and backed up a step and sat down, pouting at the line in his shirt. “But, Scootaloo ruined my shirt,” he pointed to himself and the mark she’d left.

Silver Spoon looked at the mark and then back at Scootaloo with curiosity. “Did you, like, have to do that?”

Scootaloo looked sheepish. “No, not really, but I just got mad at him,” she declared, “he’s not the same colt I fell in love with, or you either, for that fact.”

“I know, and that’s what makes him even better; he can change.”

“Ugh, gag me,” Diamond said from Snickers’s other side. “He’s who he needs to be, okay? Don’t go making him a… well, I was gonna say prince when he’s a peasant, but that doesn’t work anymore, does it?”

They all shared a laugh, then the fillies started screaming again, ruining the moment. Snickers looked up and watched five fillies running from Pup in a scattering game of chase. Pup picked Berry Pinch and caught up to her, shouldering her, then barking at her while choosing a new filly.

Berry was clearly having fun, like the rest were. Berry even got back into the game and Pup stumbled when she saw the filly back in the game, not understanding the rules. Pup was under the impression she was to chase the others and bump them into his pack, easing the hunt for the endgame of victory and necessary biological nutrients for them all to share equally.

Instead of the hunt, she was confused. Pup stopped slowly, then looked at the foals watching and at the fillies on guard and ready to bolt away, their tails raised and twitching with each motion they perceived from the predator hunting them. A flash of an image came to Snickers’s mind.

A short wooden pony doll with rounded features at the joints and glowing eyes. Snickers liked the image and at the speed of thought, he said so much into the mind of Pup. The wolf had roots grow from her body in hundreds of places, it seemed, until her legs resembled stumps. The bark around her body grew to encompass her and in thirty seconds she was a small tree.

Snickers was staring with wide eyes and finally got to his hooves before the outer bark sealed Pup in. “<No! What the fuck are you doing>?!”

He reached the tree and his heart thudded in his chest suddenly, as though he was going to feel it was going to stop at the same time Pup’s spirit left its form. But it didn’t happen, Snickers waited for what was going to happen and finally felt himself warm in a comfortable way, like he could feel the warmth of sunlight inside his body, safely warming him and bringing goose bumps to his skin.

The seconds passed and the class noticed Cheerilee among them. “Is she gonna be okay?” Dinky said quietly.

“I’m not sure, but how about we… go,” she trailed off as the top of the tree grew a dark brown flower that opened to the sun. The grass around Pup’s tree began to wither and shrink, but not die. The class backed away, staying away from the fast spreading circle of potential death. Snickers stood his ground and didn’t move as the grass wilted under and around him, leaving him unharmed.

Snickers’s herd sisters were there as well, waiting at different spots to see the event unfold, and unfold it did. The tree wilted and crumbled, exposing Pup, only now she was a Dinky sized wooden pony with rounded joints and a flowing mane of long grass and flower petals that waved in the breeze like a kaleidoscope of snacks. Pup’s head turned to look at Snickers when he thought of sampling her mane and Snickers smiled.

Gotcha, he thought. Only he noticed Pup’s eyes weren’t glowing yet, but he saw small flames dancing in the void of her eye sockets as they were covered with a thin membrane of cellulose creating the eyes everypony knew.

She was clearly held together with vines and glowing magic that Snickers hadn’t noticed before. It was like a series of green lines running the course of her body, at least he thought it was until the lines vanished from his vision into the wooden pony’s body.

She stepped from the roots that had crumbled and she looked at her forelegs legs and turned to look at her very timberwolf style body. Silver Spoon giggle snorted. “She was a timberwolf, but now she’s a timber-pony.”

Snickers took a step towards Pup. “Pup, are you okay?”

“Apa,” she said and met him three quarters of the way, being faster than any of them had expected. She nuzzled under his chin and her mouth moved, but the sound was very high pitched and very off from the motion. “Apa, Pap.”

It was a tone akin to something like someone taking a squeaky toy and tying to make it say something by squeezing it quickly. Ears flattened and Pup spoke again in a more femanine voice better for one her age. “Pap,” she said.

Snickers stepped back and looked her over. “Wow. Um, I guess you need a new name since you’re not a pup anymore, are you?”

Pup sank her forelegs into the ground and looked up, her mane fanning out to create a small flower like pattern woven through her vine mane. She shrunk slightly and elongated, her features becoming rough again and in the several seconds the class watched, she was Pup again.

Everypony stomped their hooves in applause, startling Pup into running to hide behind Snickers before she stopped and turned back to see the crowd encircling her.

“Wow, that was amazing.” “I want a changing pony-wolf for my birthday.” “I want to get lost in the forest and have a cool tree thing, too.”

“I can’t believe it’s not butter!” Pinkie shouted from the crowd, hopping to a stop and giggling. “Oops, I already did that one. Can I get a do-over? No? Well, I had a feeling there was gonna be a new pony in town, and I saw her, then she was gone! Where’d she go, she was kinda like Pup, only bigger and more rounder and less terrifying to the ponies of Ponyville.”

“<Huh, what’d’ya know, you have even more abilities than I thought, don’t you girl>?”

Mark Attempts

“Okay, I’m back from town hall with the jobs,” Snickers announced from the doorway into the Clubhouse. Five fillies looked up from their drawings at him. “And no, Bloom, I didn’t swear even once.”

“Well, good on ya. See, Silver,” Apple Bloom said giving a firm earth pony punch to the silver filly’s foreleg that scooted Silver a couple inches away, “he’s gettin’ nicer ta the townsponies from bein’ around us.”

Silver rubbed the soon to be bruise that would have seriously hurt a non-earth pony. “Well, I’m sure we’re all doing our fair share with him.”

“Well, we’re not getting our cutie marks in waiting or coloring,” Scootaloo griped and stood, stretching like a cat. “So, what jobs did you get us to try?”

“I still don’t see why you need to try to get jobs to get your cutie marks,” Diamond said around the crayon in her mouth, “just do what you like. Apple Bloom can dig holes for trees, Scootaloo can be a nice ceiling fan, Sweetie Belle can be a marshmallow mascot, and Snickers can live in the forest and make puppies for the lost little foals to take home.”

She looked up and her smirk widened at the distasteful looks she was getting. “What, too close to home?”

“Apple Bloom, can I swear at her?” Snickers asked. Apple Bloom covered her ears with her forehooves, squeezed her eyes tightly, then began to hum.

She felt small thuds as hooves stomped the floor and after some time passed and she had fallen into the songs flowing through her mind, she was nudged twice.

“Huh, is it over?” Apple Bloom asked and looked at Diamond Tiara’s back as she was being hugged by Scootaloo.

“You didn’t have to say that to her, you know,” Sweetie Belle said from beside Apple Bloom.

Silver was holding Snickers, who was trembling and looking out the window, a sniffle was his reply. “What’d Ah miss?”

Sweetie pat Apple Bloom on the back. “You’re lucky you didn’t have to hear any of that,” she said and clicked her tongue, “I might need soap just from hearing them go at it.”

Apple Bloom looked at the sad filly, then to the upset colt, then to Scootaloo, back towards Silver, who looked back at Apple Bloom and motioned with her head slightly towards Sweetie Belle.

“Okay, what in tarnation is goin’ on in here?” Applejack shouted from outside. “Ah could hear ya screamin’ like banshees on the wind from an acre away. And Ah know Ah heard some bad words in there,” she finished, walking into the room and stopping at the sight.

Applejack scratched her head just under the rim of her hat. “Well, wasn’t expectin’ this. What’s goin’ on here between y’all?”

Sweetie stood up and motioned for Apple Bloom to join her by her side. “Well, Diamond Tiara said some mean things and then Snickers was gonna say some bad words, so Apple Bloom covered her ears so she wouldn’t hear them.

“Then Snickers said something mean to Diamond about her attitude, and she said he was a jerk, and he said she jerked her dad, and she said he ate raw fishy pink tacos, and he said she was one, and I was really confused because tacos are good, and so are fish--”

Applejack moved and waved a forehoof quickly. “Now, don’t ya worry none about that talk. Ah can see a little spat went ‘n turned into a right fracas. Well, what’d’ya think we can do ta fix this, girls? A herd’s supposed ta work together, not split down the middle.”

“I.. I-I’m not in h-his h-h-erd,” Diamond stammered. “He’s just a big jerk and I don’t know how anypony could like him.”

“She’s a complete and total cu-” Snickers started but Silver’s foreleg wrapped around his head and her hoof muffled his mouth.

“He’s still upset, Miss Applejack. I know how to calm him down though,” Silver stated and turned him to face her. She puckered her lips and then blew a raspberry in his face. Snickers winced and felt droplets of moisture striking his face. When she stopped he opened his eyes and then snorted into a laugh.

“Ew, you got your germs all over me!”

“I’ll give you more if you don’t go apologize to Diamond Tiara, right now,” Silver said with a small smile. She held her forehoof to his cheek and turned his head to see Diamond. “You did go too far.”

Snickers got up and trod across the room to Diamond and Scootaloo. “Diamond, what I said about your mom and you wasn’t cool and I take it back. I know it was just kinda messin’ around at first, but I went too far and I hope you can forgive me.”

Snickers stood tall and waited as Diamond looked back to see him with Scootaloo moving aside. “That… really hurt my feelings,” Diamond said quietly, “but I forgive you. We’re friends, gay or not, and I guess I know you didn’t mean it. I’m sorry for what I said about you taking two stallions for six bits, I kinda set you off with that one.”

Snickers snickered. “You think? Just thinking of that vision with Scootaloo going all the way,” his tail lowered and his teeth clenched as the mental image entered his mind.

“Anyway,” Silver Spoon announced, “we have these job requests, right?”

All the attention was on the papers in Silver Spoon’s forehooves and Applejack was forgotten, watching for a few seconds as the herd regrouped after their adorable alpha stood like a stallion in front of one of his mares and accepted his mare’s advice, then resolved a very tense moment with words of kindness.

Ah declare, we’re gonna have one’a his foals workin’ on the farm, even if Ah have ta wait four years and slip a bad batch of herbs inta my sis’ estrus tea. Applejack felt angry at herself for such a thought. She turned to leave the foals to their jobs earning bits for candy and extra meals while she went to work a bit faster and harder as punishment for her bad thoughts.

“Okay girls, first up is,” Snickers said shuffling the notecards he’d made, “babysitting.”

…

“Get her, before she leaves the room!” Sweetie Belle shouted to Snickers, startling the week old baby she was holding on her lap that wasn’t taking the bottle she was trying to force upon it. It started crying, loudly.

“I’m on it,” Snickers replied and used his foreleg to scoop an infant filly from the floor too tightly; as he turned to look at the filly in his grip, she spit up on his face and neck. Snickers had never been so glad his mouth was closed, but he dropped the infant and wiped his face, smearing still fresh from the teat pony milk and mucous all over his face and muzzle. The filly started to cry loudly at the blinded colt.

Sweetie grimaced and looked over to Apple Bloom, who was changing a tiny colt’s diaper. “Apple Bloom, you got this. Nothing can go wrong with a diaper.”

Apple Bloom easily took off the old diaper and tossed it into the trash bin, then leaned over the colt to get some powder when she felt something warm on her neck. “What the-” she asked and looked to the right with her mouth open as the colt’s pee kept flowing.

Wildberry and Juniper hurriedly walked back into the house from the backyard, having nearly finished hanging the laundry when they heard a shriek, to the shock of seeing everything that had just occurred. “What the- I was outside for two minutes!”

Snickers was wiping his face on the underside of a silky slipcover protecting the couch, Apple Bloom was spitting and raspberrying at the floor making a wet spot, the colt was finished peeing and was patting the soggy fur on his chest.

It all came to a head when Scootaloo ran into the room with a pitcher of milk and three glasses. “I got it, hot milk! Just like it comes out of the teat. I only had to heat it for a minute until it was practically steaming.”

The mares took the infants back under their care and pointed to the front door. “I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to leave without pay for this mess.”

“Are you serious, Wildberry?! They should pay us, we have to clean this place up! Zip Line is covered with pee, the carpet! My lovely new carpet,” Juniper wailed and sat down, crying with the infants.

Wildberry glared at the CmC. “Please leave.”

Once outside the CmC looked at their flanks. “Hmph, didn’t want a babysitting cutie mark anyway. Babies are too much trouble, I don’t want one anymore if that’s what they’re like.”

“Scootaloo’s right. Diamond and Silver said they’d meet us at Silver’s house for the next job.”

“And what d’ya pick as the next job, Snickers?” Snickers held up the card to show Sweetie Belle. “Arrow collectors?” Sweetie Belle asked flatly.

“Yeah,” Snickers replied. “Silver’s parents shoot the arrows at the targets and when they’re done, we go get them and bring them back. Their butler’s too old to manage anymore, and he said something about his knee. How hard can it be?”

...

A bow let out another thwack and shortly after the arrow thudded into the target. “Ah, right good shot,” a unicorn Snickers didn’t care to remember the name of said. Snickers was paying more attention to the white earth pony with a silvery mane, just like his in color.

Silver Spoon stood off to his side and stomped her hooves on the ground. “Fabulous shot, father. A credit to the family name, two points to the Silvers. Score, eight to seven.”

The CmC were laying on the grass, waiting for the chance to collect arrows, but over the past forty minutes only Scootaloo had the chance to make the run.

“Thank you, Silver Spoon. You keep score as well as ever, would you care for a shot?”

“Father, may I?” Silver asked with surprise. The ponies sat up and watched as Silver was shown how to nock an arrow while her father held the bow. She loosed it and watched as it sailed over the target, landing in the soft grass and soil. “Oh, drat and tarnish,” she cursed and covered her mouth. “Father, I apologize for my language. I’ll go get the soap post haste,” she turned and was halted.

“Wait, Silver Spoon. You needn’t do that over something so inane. It’s perfectly understandable to be frustrated at missing your first target. Say, Blanket, what say a small wager to encourage my daughter’s aim? Say, ten bits she hits the target?”

“Father, you shouldn’t put such faith in me after I missed so.”

Snickers raised an eyebrow and looked back at the other fillies, then to Diamond Tiara and saw her lying on the ground as though she were asleep or resting with her forehooves covering her muzzle.

It’s a hustle. Clever girl.

Snickers watched Silver Spoon miss the target and stomp her hooves in frustration. “See, father. I’ve cost you money now, I’ll pay your debt from my own savings.”

Blanket chuckled and patted her head. “Don’t worry, my dear. I’ve come from Manehattan for the day to do business with your father. So, Golden Ladle, what do you say to a rematch? Best two of three?”

“How about two percent of the agreement? She hits the target and you’ll pay two percent for the next year, she misses and I will?”

“Well, certainly confidant in your daughter, aren’t you? Sure, I can use a little more savings for another rainy day.”

Golden Ladle set the bow while Silver clumsily nocked the arrow and took aim. Snickers was ready to see her hit the target dead center and was surprised when she barely skimmed the edge and got it to stick, dangling by a few strands of hay that reminded him that he was a bit hungry.

“Ha! Father, look! I did it! I really did it, I hit the target,” she giggled and pranced in a circle while the stallions chuckled.

“I say,” Blanket started, “a jolly good show from such a talented filly. You wouldn’t be trying to trick me out of some money, are you young filly?”

Silver didn’t hear him, grinning at the target with pride as she made her way to her friends. “Did you see that, Snickers? I totally got it, I made it onto the target! It was my first time using a real bow and arrow, aren’t you impressed?”

Snickers nodded. “Yeah, that was a really good shot. I’d never be able to hit that thing.”

“Oh-ho,” Golden shouted, “a colt with a little self doubt? Come, no money on the line; let’s see how you do.”

Snickers was about to protest when he thought of the odds he’d get another chance in the utopia of Equestria to use any weapon. He got up and hurried over. “Yeah, I’ll nail this thing like a hammer and nail. That sounded better in my head,” he said and the stallions laughed.

“Indeed, young stallion. Now, hold the arrow as such and pull back, aim with your eye down the arrow to the target and let it go. Simple as that.”

Snickers took aim and recalled training with a plasma cutter for scrap mining, once upon a time. A smile crossed his lips. “I can do this,” he said to himself. He did as instructed and let the arrow fly, Snickers moved to the side and watched the arrow strike the second ring, to his surprise. He whooped and hopped into the air, landing and running to the fillies.

“Did you see that?! My first shot ever with an arrow and it got on the target, can you believe it?”

Snickers was praised and hugged, a boof bump from Diamond was the last thing he got before he looked back at the proud stallions looking at him, filling him with a sense he couldn’t recall ever having; the pride of a male looking at him. At that moment he felt like he could hit the red bullseye like a master archer.

Golden nodded respectfully to Snickers and then set his bow down and waved to the targets. Sweetie Belle rushed to gather the arrows and returned them to the quivers equally before she went back to her spot to wait.

“Well, as much as I enjoy a good bit of sport, perhaps it’s time for us to talk business, Golden.”

Golden nodded in reply and took his coin purse from a bench and gave four bits to each of the CmC. “There you are, for a fine job showing patience and here’s an extra two bits for you, young sir. Take your future alpha mare out for a treat on me,” he winked and Snickers blushed while the fillies giggled and whispered to each other.

“Y-yes, Mister Spoon. Thank you, I’ll do that.”

“Good boy, now off with you,” Golden said.

…

“Well, we’re up to twenty four bits. Diamond didn’t do anything and Silver was family, not to mention the zero from babysitting,” Sweetie Belle tallied on a notepad. “So, what’s next since we didn’t get our marks in arrow collecting or shooting the bow and arrow for Snickers?”

Snickers looked at his cards and smiled. “Boxing packages at the post office.”

“Ha, that’s easy,” Scootaloo proudly said and ran to her scooter with her three club mates hopping on the wagon and donning their helmets. “Silver and Diamond, you can catch up, right?”

“Whatever, I’ll probably meet you at Sugarcube Corner for that treat you owe me,” Silver giggled, “and, I’m sorry about my father; I haven’t told him that I want to earn your love and not force you to be my stallion, because you’re not property.”

Snickers nodded to Silver and was pulled away by Scootaloo buzzing her wings to pull them to their next cutie mark attempt.

---

“Hi everypony. My name is Derpy and I’ll be teaching you how to put mail in boxes. First you stand here, then you put the stuff in a box, then you write who the box is for and where it’s going. Then you close the box and it seals itself. If you have any questions I’ll be on break at the Hayburger, see you in an hour.”

Derpy flew from the mailroom and left the four foals alone with flat boxes and two ponies at the counter. The CmC looked between one another and then everypony looked at Sweetie.

“What?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“You’re the best with money, so you should run the cash register," Snickers suggested. "Scootaloo can take the packages back here to me and Apple Bloom, and we’ll box them up. Okay?”

They took their places and Snickers looked at the flattened cardboard with Apple Bloom.
“Any idea how to make them into boxes?”

“Nope, but it can’t be too hard. They’re just cubes and probably fold easy into shape.”

“Okay, let’s try it.”

Together, they started with one box as a team and crushed it, literally. The next box they tore and set it aside; the following several boxes were equally unusable. “Well, if this ain’t the hardest part of the job Ah dunno what is. How in the hay are we supposed ta do this?”

“Hm, maybe there’s something we’re missing. Let’s try it on our own instead of as a team, maybe?” Snickers suggested. Separate they were able to turn a flat box into a rectangle, but they didn’t know how to close an end at first, finally managing and setting it on the table, ready for the items.

“Well, now we just wait fer the stuff, how long do ya think it’ll be?”

--

Scootaloo had a nice stack of items ready to ship behind the counter and Sweetie Belle was taking bits into the till at a steady pace with a professionalism that fit her very well. Soon the queue was empty from the afternoon rush and they both looked at the pile of stuff to be shipped.

“Great work, Sweetie. I’m sure you’ll get your cutie mark in sales at this rate.”

“Not unless you get your mark in package accepting. Now, let’s get these to the back for boxing and shipping out.”

The two started piling the items onto a cart and wheeled it back. “Here’s the first load,” Scootaloo stated and turned to leave with Sweetie pulling another cart, loaded full like the first.

Snickers smiled and took one of the items and looked at it. “A book about recipes for single mares? Okay, where’s it going?”

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle stopped and looked at one another. “Uh-oh.”

Snickers slapped his forehoof to his head. “You didn’t ask where it’s going? Well, who dropped it off, so we can ask them?” Another beat of silence. “Okay, let’s just pack it and then we can worry about it later. We’ll just write what’s in the box and Derpy can help us figure it out.”

He placed the book in the box and put a lid on it, took a piece of paper, then wrote on it: Recipe Book.

“There, done. Next item?” He pointed to Apple Bloom while he looked at the pile for another easy item. He picked up the box to move it and the bottom gave way, dropping the book onto the floor. “Ugh, why won’t it stay closed? Do we have to glue it, or something?”

“I have some glue, it’s on the cart,” Scootaloo said and dug through the stuff producing the glue with a grin. “It’s supposed to be sent out, but we can replace it with some tape I found on the counter earlier. I’ll go get it and nopony will know the difference.”

He glued the bottom of the box close after setting the book back inside and let the box dry against the wall as he grabbed the next item. “One teddy bear with a birthday card. Okay, bottom of box glued, check. Bear inside? Check. Note: Teddy Bear. Check. Next.”

Together the four of them finished packaging the shippable boxes with notes for what was in them and then waited for Derpy to return, one hour turned into two and they finally decided to go try for their marks on the next task, sure that their notes would be understood by the professional mailmare.

Over the next week, across Equestria, ponies with names on the mail opened their packages to find, mostly to their delight, stuff that matched their names while others either never knew their packages existed, or waited for stuff that didn’t arrive until they were sent again weeks later.

…

Four foals sat in the Clubhouse sporting small bruises and hurt egos.

“Ah don’t know why tryin’ martial arts was a good idea? Only Snickers knows any real stuff, so why didn’t he teach us before we went at it?”

“And when we all went at it, like in the movies, it wasn’t as cool. It hurts a lot more than I thought it would.” Scootaloo said, holding her foreleg to look at it. “Who bit me?”

“It wasn’t me,” Sweetie Belle said holding an icepack to her chest, “but I was bucked pretty good.”

Snickers pouted. “I’m sorry, I thought that was gonna be an easy way to get our marks. I didn’t think we’d just fight like that. At least I didn’t use any good attacks,” he winced, “I’m sorry I hit you, Sweetie.”

Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara set first aid boxes on the floor. “I think you’re all idiots for trying to fight like that.”

“I can’t believe you all went so crazy as soon as you started, what was going through your heads? Like, do you guys even think before you act?” Silver stated, opening her box.

“Whatever,” Scootaloo said, “just give me some medicine before I get home. My aunts are gonna be upset that I was fighting in the first place.”

“Well, the next idea’s safe enough,” Apple Bloom said, “painting.”

Scootaloo groaned. “I hate painting. Can we try that one later?”

“You don’t hate painting, you paint all the time,” Sweetie Belle stated, pointing to a sloppy art project against the wall.

“Well, we didn’t get our marks when we tried it then, why try it now?”

“Because, now we got Snickers and tryin’ some stuff over might work fer ‘im.”

“I think I’m done trying for today, girls. I just need to get Pup from the farmhouse and go home before I get any more hurt. And to think of a name for Pup that isn’t Pup, because she’s not gonna be a Pup if she can change into a pony.”

“Timber-pony, ya mean.”

“Yeah,” Snickers said smiling, “that. So, what traits does Pup have that we can name her with?”

Silver snerked. “She snores when she sleeps… if you can call it sleep.”

“Well, her eyes go dim and she falls apart into a pile of sticks, except her head; so it’s pretty much sleep. But, how does she snore without lungs to breathe?”

“I dunno, Silver. How does anything about her work, and don’t say ‘magic’,” Snickers chuckled.

Diamond’s ears twitched. “How about Stick Pile?”

“How about not. I think Wolf Howl sounds cool,” Scootaloo suggested, “because timberwolves howl a lot.”

“Have you ever heard Pup howl?”

“Well, not really, but she could. Well, Apple Bloom, what do you think?”

“Ah dunno, whenever she’s at the farm she’s kinda like a relaxed Winona; she doesn’t do anything crazy like chase critters or bark at ponies comin’ up the walk. How about Relaxed Wood?”

Snickers snorted into laughter. “Seriously, no. That sounds like a limp dick,” he said and the fillies giggled while Apple Bloom blushed brightly.

“I didn’t mean that, and y’all know it, what about you, Sweetie Belle?”

Sweetie shrugged. “I dunno, she’s a nice puppy and doesn’t make any problems for me or the town, at least not yet. What about Good Nature?”

They thought of it for a moment. “Okay, that’s in the very maybe column. Silver Spoon, what’s your thought?”

“Ugh, I don’t like or trust her. She’s still dangerous and scares me; I think she’s kinda nice, though. And, when she snores it’s kinda cute, and when she’s panting it’s a nice relaxing sound… Snore Lax? Because her snoring is relaxing and it’s kinda her best feature… I think, anyway.”

They all looked at one another with growing smiles. “I like it, and it sounds like a name that can grow with her, but how about Snorelax, one word. The Lax sounds like laxative.”

Scootaloo sighed. “Yeah, I like it. The only thing I don’t like about Pup, er, Snorelax, is when she sleeps guarding the door. She’s like a wall of sticks that I can’t get around with waking her in the middle of the night. It almost scares the pee outta me when her eyes turn on and look at me.”

Sweetie giggled. “Then stop drinking so much water before you go to bed.”

“Rainbow Dash says I have to stay hydrated, and I’m not gonna wake up thirsty! Or else I won’t be hydrated and I’ll be all tired all day.”

“Oh no, she’s talking about Rainbow Dash again,” Snickers teased, “her real one true love.”

“She is not,” Scootaloo pouted and crossed her forelegs while everypony laughed.

Cover Me Timbers

“Wait, everypony,” Silver Spoon said from outside the barn where Big Mac was moving bushels of apples into the hidden door of the apple cellar, “I wanna get Snorelax, I think I owe it to her to tell her her new name, and after everything I’ve said to her and about her,” Silver poked the ground shyly.

“Silver, if you’re gonna be mean to Pup, er, Snorelax,” a frustrated Sweetie Belle stammered, “then we’re gonna be mad at you.”

“No, wait,” Snickers held a hoof aside to halt Sweetie Belle, “let’s give her a chance. She’s like me and trying to be somepony better and new.”

“Aww,” Scootaloo let slip, then looked away with a tough expression. “I, uh, saw a cool cloud. It’s gone now, though.”

“Uh, huh,” Apple Bloom said, “Ah believe that like a mouse playin’ lion.”

Sweetie gasped. “Oh, no. My sister was gonna introduce me to her mouse friend that Fluttershy gave her.”

Diamond waved her hoof for attention. “Hold up, are you saying your sister has a pet mouse in the same house as a pet cat? How’s that work?”

“Easy,” Snickers said, “magic.”

He snickered as the fillies rolled their eyes. “Mister ‘don’t say magic as an answer’ over here,” Scootaloo scoffed in good humor. “Hurry up, Silver, before Snickers gets his mark in being bored, or something else lame like that.”

Silver giggled and trotted into the barn with a flip of her mane. “Hello, Mister Macintosh, I’m here to get Pup and give her her new mane, er, name. You have a nice mane, Mister Macintosh,” Silver said with a wavering smile.

Big Mac seemed to ignore her and motioned with his head to the back of the barn, then went back to work. Silver averted her eyes as she passed the large stallion, her eyes looking up to see nothing but smooth flesh, like a doll. Having the want not-see not spell cast on her and her friends the previous day was a bane and boon for her.

It was a choice she made for Snickers; to show him she cared about more than just his body, and to do that, she gave up what she was told was her right as a young mare; a right she had been doubting over the past few days, even before he went missing.

Raising her hoof to the side of her head, blocking what she imagined to be there, she moved through the barn to the back where Winona was lying on the floor besides the timberwolf that was watching over her. “Awe, that’s so cute. Hey, Pup, c’mere, girl.”

Winona sniffed at Silver Spoon and laid her head back down as she was left alone. “Okay, so… I know we got off to a bad start, and I’ve only known you for a week, and I’m kind of a pain in your twigs, and I hit you, and tried eat your ear once… ugh,” Silver groaned quietly while the timberwolf stood and seemed to blink at her. “Look, I… was a real bad filly, but I’m trying to get better.

“I’m sorry, is what I’m trying to say. I’m also here to give you a new name,” Silver said to the wooden pup, “we talked it over and your name is Snorelax, okay?”

Snorelax blinked and her ear sprouted a leaf suddenly. Snorelax barked and started panting, her tail grew a thin layer of moss and, as Silver Spoon watched, the timberwolf appeared to round out her body into a more natural shape. “Wow,” Silver said, adjusting her glasses, “you must really like your name, huh?”

Shortly after, Silver and Snorelax left the barn to meet five surprised foals. “Snorelax, what happened to you?” Snickers asked, rushing to meet Silver half way. Big Mac looked at the gathering from the barn and smiled before returning to finish his daily tasks.

“I dunno,” Silver Spoon said, “She was just, like, standing there and then, like, I dunno; she just started getting all… normal-like.”

Snickers looked Snorelax over and let the puppy move closer so his muzzle could brush against the moss covering her body. “Wow, it’s like she’s got fur now. Sweetie Belle, come feel her coat!”

“I wanna feel it first,” Scootaloo said and pressed firmly to Snorelax’s side, peeling the moss off to her horror. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! I’ve got it, I’ll fix it, please don’t be too hurt!”

“Scootaloo,” Snickers said hugging the filly from the side, “look at her, she’s fine.”

Scootaloo looked at the puppy, who’s expression didn’t convey any disturbance. Scootaloo let the moss go and new moss took its place while the other moss was reabsorbed. “Wow, I’m gonna make a list of all her freaky powers,” Scootaloo gasped happily, “maybe I’ll get my mark in list making this time!”

“Alright, now,” Applejack’s voice cut in, “ya go’n try all that tomorrow, ya hear? Apple Bloom, ya come home with [grand-mama]. No but’s, ya can’t snuggle yer stallion every night ’a the week. Now, say g’night ta yer herd and head on in ta help get supper started fer when yer [uncle] and me come in.”

Snickers’s ears flopped as he tried to understand the words being said, not what he was hearing, catching Applejack’s attention. “Ya doin’ okay there, stud?”

“Hey,” Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara said in unison. Diamond motioned for Silver to continue. “He’s not a bowl of salad, to be passed around the dinner table. He’s a colt, a person, a pony, and isn’t a stud in his prime,” Silver said standing in front of Snickers, “he’s my herd stallion, and my friend.”

The other fillies followed Silver’s statement until they were all standing as a wall between the colt and mare. Applejack, unsure of what to say, looked at her brother. Big Mac, standing at the threshold of the barn, moved to stand by the fillies. He looked down at them, and at Snickers, nodded, and gave a proud, “Eeyup,” in favor of the girls.

“Now, Ah didn’t mean anythin’ by what Ah said. Ah guess it’s just a turn of phrase, ya know? Ah already said that mares might have it wrong, as of late, on how we treat stallions. Twilight’s got the Princess’s ear, so Ah’d wager that the gears are startin’ ta move. Yup, should see some changes comin’ along any day now.”

Snickers snickered. “Yeah, right. First, my ears were doing that because I had trouble understanding you for a second. Second, the slowest thing in the living world is government; that mare that claimed to be my mother might be at the top, but unless this is a dictatorship, it’s gonna take years to get those gears you’re talking about to move an inch.”

Big Mac raised an eyebrow at Applejack, who waved him off. “Well, Ah have faith in the princesses ta get the right thing done as quick as a whip’s crack. Yup, why, by t’morrow there’ll be an article in the paper about the change of equality comin’ ta ponykind fer stallions. Just ya wait.”

“And on that word, I’m leaving,” Snickers said, “it was nice to see you, Applejack, <you sexist, biased fucking cow>, and I hope you have a good night.”

Applejack waved at Snickers kindly. “Thanks, the same ta you.”

Snickers smiled. “<Rainbow Dash is too good for you>,” he replied and said a kind goodbye to Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo, Silver Spoon, Diamond, Sweetie Belle, and Snorelax followed Snickers and once Applejack turned away, Diamond gave Snickers’s rump a slap. He yelped and bucked behind him. “What the hay was that for?” He snapped and his wooden friend barked loudly, showing her many sharp wooden teeth.

Diamond was shaken, but not enough to run away anymore. “You said something really mean to Applejack, didn’t you?”

Snickers started walking again. “What about it?”

Diamond raised her forehoof to slap him again, but a glare at her from the colt held her hoof. “Is this ‘cause you like that mare?” Diamond blushed and nodded.

Snickers turned his attention to the road ahead. “Well, the fuck’s that gotta do with me? If I wanna call her a sexist cow that’s not good enough for Rainbow Dash, it’s got nothing to do with you.”

“Hey!” Rainbow’s voice called out just as a cloud of dust washed over the group. “Say what you want about a lot of ponies, squirt,” she said, standing over Snickers and looking down at him, “but don’t trash talk my mare, got it.”

Snickers stepped around her. “I know, I just don’t like her yet.”

Rainbow flew around him and kept pace in the air. “How can you not like her? She’s… Aj!”

“That’s why!” Snickers shouted and stopped to look into Rainbow’s eyes. “Ever since I met her, all she’s wanted from me is my fucking cum in her sister.” Rainbow grimaced. “Yeah, that’s right. She just wants me to impregnate her sister like a good colt should do to a fine mare. Go ask her, right now, what the color of my eyes are.

“Tell me if she knows anything about me besides my coat color and gender. She just wants free farm labor, and if she wants anything else from me, then I’ll eat her damned hat with mustard. Now, excuse me; I have to go home and take a bath because mother won’t have me or my friends sleep together while so dirty.”

Rainbow looked at the fillies and they all nodded, each agreeing in various ways. “Okay, look, Snickers. I know Aj can be a bit linear in how she thinks and gets stuck on what she believes, but she’s a good mare and--”

“And what?” Snickers stopped to look at Rainbow again. “Change the way she thinks? You and everypony else knows she’s stubborn, what would she get out of looking at me like a pony and not part of a foal factory? How do I know that there’s not a secret mine out there where stallions are slaves and have to hump mares all the time like in that story?

“There’s gotta be a reason the pony population goes up so much with only maybe one baby born to a herd every year, right?”

Rainbow bit her bottom lip and looked at the barn, then to the mountains in the distance before she landed. “Look, I know there isn’t some underground foal factory. The population numbers add up if you just run them with the census and common herd dynamics; one foal to each three members of a herd.

“That means it’s roughly 1.3 foals to 2 adult ponies. The population should reach fifty million by the end of the decade, if you can believe such a huge number in our country,” she giggled and ruffled his mane, getting her foreleg swatted away in reply.

“My mane isn’t something for you to mess up at a whim, use Scootaloo for that, if you don’t mind,” Snickers said, “and I don’t care about your paltry pony population. This is about equality of genders. Just because I’m a minority, why should I be treated like I’m only good for one thing, when there are hundreds of possibilities out there for me?”

“Woah, cool it before you get a mark in declarative speaking,” Rainbow said, looking to his flank with the others. “I’ll look into the nature of our society with Twilight, and see about Aj’s views on colts and their uses beyond work and making foals,” she winked at Snickers. “But you need to let it go and just be a kid, okay?

“Go get dirty and play, have your fun while it lasts, because you’re gonna be grown up before you know it and you’re gonna miss the days when you just had energy to spare. Not that I have that problem, but some ponies can’t go an hour at my pace.”

“Don’t you, like, nap half of every day?” Silver Spoon asked.

“Well, just because I’m on a cloud, it doesn’t mean I’m napping.”

“Exactly,” Snickers interjected, “there’s times a mare needs to keep a lookout for kids like us doing dangerous things or saying mean stuff. So, let’s get back to my house after getting Scootaloo back to hers, okay? Okay, bye, Rainbow. Thanks for your advice.”

Rainbow waved the foals off, smiling respectfully to Snickers before turning toward the barn and flying down the path, nearly colliding with a somber looking Applejack. “Rainbow, Ah heard everything… am Ah really that bad ta males?”

…

Arriving back home, Snickers slipped his shoes off by the door and went ahead of the others to the kitchen to get a drink of seltzer, seeing Kiwe at the table, reading a book held in his magic. “Hey, buddy. How’s your day been?”

Kiwe lowered the book. “It has been unproductive as of late, to be honest. Why have you not taken me with you to find my mark, am I not close enough yet?”

Snickers had opened the fridge, but stopped and looked back. “Wait, you wanna look for your mark with us?” He let the door close itself and walked to the unicorn, “I thought you were gonna wait for it to happen, or whatever.”

Snickers took a seat across from Kiwe and noticed the book as it was lowered to the table as one of the alchemy books he was gifted. “While that is a good idea, it gets boring waiting… and with being gone a week, I had time to spend with Diamond Tiara and her friends,” Kiwe smiled slightly, not unnoticed by Snickers, “and I feel spending time with all of you will be beneficial for us all.

“I can, perhaps, work with Apple Bloom on her potions or Scootaloo with her...” he paused and rolled his hoof as he thought, “... adventurous spirit. Silver Spoon offers wise advice and pines for your wellbeing, I imagine it will only be stronger now that you have expressed your desire to be treated as a pony, and not as a snack,” he giggled at the statement.

“Yeah, that’d all be nice for them… what about Sweetie Belle,” Snickers asked, glancing at the doorway to see a totem of fillies listening to the boys talk, “I’m sure you’ve got a lot of ideas of stuff you can do to, er, with her, right?”

Kiwe looked at Snickers flatly, biding time as he chose his words carefully. “I thank you for your time, but I have to complete this recipe before I go to bed tonight. Would you like to help me mix the ingredients? My mortar and pestle are in the basement, as it is my workspace.”

Snickers’s ears perked. “Wait, what about the stuff down there? Is it all okay? You didn’t throw out any chests, did you?!”

Kiwe shook his head. “No, your mother, Miss Rarity, arranged the area and had wooden flooring put in place. It is much nicer than when I first went down… I was not aware a mare could make such a noise over messy hooves, but my lesson was learned and I was taken care of at the local spa.

“They mentioned you there,” Kiwe said, “in reference to changing something about how ponies are treated and how to have more male customers.”

Snickers nodded while focusing on the basement door and the thought of his little doll being lost pressed on his mind. “I’m sorry, I’ve gotta check something… uh, the basement floor’s not dirt anymore, huh? Why not show me your set up? I bet it’s simply marvelous to look at.”

Snickers grimaced a little at the way he spoke, not wanting to sound so posh. The fillies walked into the room giggling, their hooves making too much noise on the linoleum for the silence Kiwe was reading in. He sighed and slid a bookmark into his book, letting his eyes cross the fillies and linger on Diamond Tiara.

Sweetie Belle stepped into his line of sight while Diamond was looking at the sink without reason. Silver Spoon rolled her eyes.

“Yes, I will show you my workspace as it is now. Come, brother, perhaps you may take interest and earn your mark.”

Snickers’s attention was halted on the words Kiwe spoke. Hopping to the floor, Snickers moved to Sweetie Belle “Potion making cutie marks? Wanna try?”

Sweetie hesitated. “What about the others, we should try to get them together, right?”

Silver giggled. “Oh, c’mon. If you get yours while taking a walk downstairs are they gonna stop being your friends?”

Sweetie shook her head. “I guess not. Okay, lead the way… Kiwe.”

Kiwe did his best to ignore the sugary tone Sweetie used every time she spoke to him and led the others down to the basement.

“Ew, there aren’t any spiders down here, are there? If I get any webs in my braids, I’m gonna freak out.” Silver whined.

Diamond snerked. “Better in your mane than on your face, right, Silver Spoon?”

“Uck, gross! Like, nothing’s getting on my face if I have anything to say about it.”

Diamond grinned and inhaled to make a joke, but Snickers put a forehoof in her mouth. She leaned back and almost slipped down a step, but his hoof helped steady her. She shoved his hoof from her mouth and rolled her tongue around before rushing down the last steps and spitting under the stairs.

“Hey Kiwe, Diamond spits,” Silver Spoon announced. Diamond’s head impacted the stairs and Kiwe’s forehooves crossed, sending him crashing onto his chest and chin. Snickers barked a laugh while Sweetie inhaled sharply and rushed to her fallen crush.

Diamond moved from under the stairs and glared at the laughing filly while holding a hoof to her head. “<Fuck you>,” Diamond said. “You know I’m not… I mean, that won’t… just… ugh,” she stomped her rear hoof and moved away from the group, deeper into the well lit basement. Hooves clacked on wood and Snickers smiled, thinking of how his pony-pedi would be preserved when he next went to the spa.

He quietly sighed and looked at Sweetie Belle, motioning her close so he could ask her a personal question. “Sweetie, am I different then when we met?”

Sweetie nodded fervently and responded quietly. “Yeah, thank Celestia. If you kept being a jerk like you were, I don’t think you’d still be here. Anything I can help with?”

Snickers looked for the trunk he had found Aries in, finding the wall area clear. Unable to find the chest, he sullenly turned to Sweetie, who had waited patiently. “No, I’ll be fine. I just wanna talk to Kiwe about his potion stuff, I guess.”

Silver was standing by Kiwe, looking over his shoulder as the colt ground some herbs and the shell of a walnut together. The nut itself lay on the floor with several others. “Silver, as you can see, I can grind into a mix all three. The powder, when mixed in this brew, makes a nice elixir that helps bugs stay off of you.”

“Well, now. That certainly is something I can’t wait to have for the next time I go walking into the forest,” Snickers mused; his ears lowered at the expressions he received, none of which were amused.

“If you go into that forest alone ever again, I’ll nail your hooves to Rarity’s floor,” Diamond Tiara said from a far wall, looking through boxes. “I’m not joking, Snickers. I’d spend a week grounded without any food and a glass of sparkling water before bed before I let you get lost again, so stop making it into a joke, you jerk!”

Diamond finalized her statement with a stomp of her hoof on the floor so hard, the wood cracked noticeably in the comfortable light.

“While I agree with the words Diamond has said, I would not do something to cause such dread. I may, however, mix up a brew that will create a fear of the dark for you.”

“Hey! Like, don’t even talk about poisoning the love of my life,” Silver said, shoving Kiwe and spilling the powder he’d made as the mortar moved with his motion.

“Keep your polished hooves of my stallion,” Sweetie shouted and pushed past Snickers.

The three started arguing and Diamond gave Snickers a shove. “Don’t think I hate you, <friend>, but if you almost get yourself killed again…” she looked away, getting Snickers’s full attention.

“You’ll what?”

She clenched her jaw several times and looked at the arguing trio, then motioned to the boxes she was at. Once there, she faced him, but looked at the boxes. “I don’t have many real friends, I never have. I haven’t known you that long, and don’t think I want to know what it would be like to be one of your mares, because I don’t,” she said, looking at him with narrowed eyes, “but, I like you.

“I want to be your friend more than I’ve ever wanted to be friends with anypony else, and we still have to have our tea party with Kiwe, and I haven’t really slept over yet. At least,” she said quickly and blushed just a little, “not beside you. Not that I want to, or anything, hmph,” she lifted her snout as though looking down on the idea.

“Okay, so you like me, but you don’t like me, like me. That’s fine by me, I’ve already had too much affection from the fillies in this town. I like you, too, so don’t worry. I meant what I said about not pushing you for anything or taking advantage of you. I wanna be a better pony, and so do you… so let’s be better together, okay?”

Diamond looked at the hoof he’d offered and her blush grew to dominate her cheeks and her tail swayed. She licked her lips and then raised her eyes, not making it to his before she stepped back and laughed awkwardly, rubbing her mane with her left forehoof. “Ha, you’re such a dork, Snickers. We don’t have to bump on it, you’re totally fine. It’s... it’s totally fine, what you said… about us.”

Snickers smirked at the filly, then noticed the other three moving for a group hug. “They’re over their argument, should we go back?”

Diamond nodded and turned to her left, losing balance because she hadn’t put her hoof on the floor from a few seconds earlier. She was caught from falling onto her chest by Snickers’s body moving under her at the last moment . She got her hooves under herself and cleared her throat.

“Thank you for catching me.”

“I did what, now?”

Diamond waved him ahead. “Just go, I’ll be right behind you.”

Snickers took the lead and Diamond’s eyes watched his tail sway, catching a glance of what hung out of view for the briefest of moments. Her blush returned to encompass her cheeks again and her eyes darted side to side, trying to find something to look at that wasn’t a reminder of the spell she’d said she’d taken.

I am not into stallions, or colts for that matter. I’m just curious, is all. That’s right, just like the books said; I can wonder what it’s like to be with a male, and it’s my choice to act on that, and I’m not gonna do that… even if he does give me those tingles sometimes.

Silver Spoon looked at Diamond and her glasses slipped down her muzzle slightly as she saw the conflicted expression the pink filly had, one she remembered from the previous year’s spring estrus. She stepped from the hug and embraced Snickers in one as soon as he was close enough, giving a little kiss on his cheek while meeting Diamond’s eyes, watching for a reaction.

Diamond rolled her eyes, sending Silver’s suspicions away. I guess I was just seeing things where there wasn’t anything to worry about.

Another Mark Attempt

Silver ran through the streets of Ponyville panting, her breath hot from exertion after running from Sweet Apple Acres with the Golden Oaks Library as her goal. Ponies screamed and made a path when she shouted for them to move out of her way, yelping again when a mossy timberwolf passed in Silver’s wake.

“Almost… there. Just another turn and two blocks,” Silver said to herself without looking back. She grit her teeth and clenched her jaw, her breathing organized chaos as she panted out, gasped in, and ignored the burning in her lungs. Her legs were miserable, and she’d forgotten about them through the aching pain of her joints.

“Ha, eat tail hair,” Diamond Tiara announced herself from a turn just ahead of Silver Spoon. Silver growled and her head started to bob in time with her pace as she made the race personal. Silver could practically taste the cherry and raspberry shampoo Diamond used on her tail, she was so close.

Silver spoke between gasps of air, “Shut… up. I’ll, like… bite your… tail off.”

Diamond tittered from the lead. “Ooo, kinky filly. I’ll tell Snickers you’re off the menu and he can go straight to dessert.” Diamond swayed her tail like she was trying to catch the attention of a colt on the playground getting a growl from Silver Spoon.

Snorelax barked from behind Silver Spoon and rushed to match her speed, siding with the grey filly and looking over with green irises. Lime green, the same as Snickers’s eyes. Silver Spoon thought.

Finding a fourth wind, Silver could now read the words on the library’s signage and put on a final burst of speed, matching Diamond Tiara. Diamond looked to her side and winked her eye, then arced left. Silver Spoon didn’t realize until one second after it became too late to change her direction that she was going to impact the library at full speed.

She was shoved from the left at the last instant and sent galloping to a canter, able to slow to a stop at the cost of Snorelaxe's body being shattered against the library. Silver trotted back to the site the pup had struck and collapsed, inhaling dust and dry air from the well-packed road that still lingered in her wake.

She whined and reached a foreleg to the reforming sticks. “Laxie, get help. I think I’m dying,” she coughed weakly and let her head fall into the grass.

“What a drama queen,” Diamond said, Spike beside her with a cup of water in his hand. “Give her some water and help me drag her into the library, she has something to tell Twilight because I can’t be trusted with such important information.”

“Not… gonna make… it. Tell Snickers, I love him. He can have my Lunar Moon doll… to remember me by.”

Spike giggled. “Yeah, Twilight gets the same way when she has to run anywhere. That mare really needs to get out more,” Spike said to himself. He carefully lifted Silver’s head and helped her drink some water, most of which ran down her cheek and into the grass. “And what’s with Pup’s, er, Snorelax’s name? I thought it was final yesterday.”

“Well, Snorelax is a bit of a mouthful, so we all decided that for short we’d call her Laxie. It doesn’t sound like laxative and it sounds smoother in both our language and Snickers’. It’s cute, too,” Diamond finished patting the nearly reformed wolf on the head. “Who’s a good girl? Saving Silver’s life like that? Who’s a good girl? Who’s a good puppy? You are, that’s who!”

Laxie’s tail cracked the air like a whip as it swung side to side and Laxie rolled to her back and gladly accepted the belly rubs against her still bare-wood underbelly.

“Alright, I think she can stand now,” Spike said, moving to Silver’s side. Silver rocked and pushed herself to standing, showing Spike and Diamond her rough exterior. “Oh, she’s got a lather going… I’ll get some soup I have for just this happening. Hurry up and come inside, Silver, before you get leg cramps.”

Silver nodded her head, weakly moving with Diamond as a crutch. Silver’s head, while spinning and dizzy from a poor diet, lack of exercise, and overconfidence; still managed to wonder how Diamond was in such better shape, when they both did almost everything together, which included their exercise, or lack thereof.

Several minutes later, Silver Spoon lay on a cushion in the loft; an empty bowl of soup by her head as she dozed quietly. Diamond was reluctantly massaging Silver’s hind legs and Twilight was using her magic to massage the filly’s forelegs. “So,” Twilight started, “why was it so important you get here that Silver would risk her health?”

Diamond Tiara rolled her hooves, taking a short rest from massaging before starting again. “Well, Snickers said there was a breakthrough idea he had about the toy idea you both had.” Silver moaned weakly and her tail moved slightly. “I’m sorry, Silver Spoon, but you’re out of it and I’m just gonna get this message to her.

“I’ll owe you one later, okay?” The two waited for a response, but Silver had returned to a state of exhaustion, and was actually enjoying being pampered a bit by the two as well.

Twilight’s ears moved at the sound of claws walking up the stairs. “So, Snickers has an idea about the toy line? What has he told you about our ideas, so far?”

Diamond snortled. “I just found out about it, but it sounds like something mares everywhere will pay top bits for.”

Twilight cocked her head, then blushed brightly. “No, it’s n-nothing like that. There’s already a huge industry related to that, and I don’t really want to get in on that line of work. No, the toys we’re planning are enchanted to work with electricity charged batteries that power magical enchantments.

“The first model is going to be of a pony about the size of two hooves and with the help of three other ponies, we’re going to make a living clockwork toy! Oh, it’ll be so exciting to see something from his universe in ours, and the possibilities are endless once the toy becomes popular.

“I can use the money to create new jobs, new uses for alternating current energy; cross thaumatic-electric power sources will be the future and maybe everypony, someday, can have such power sources in their own homes, carts, wagons, and inside themselves. Think of a… Diamond Tiara, are you sleeping?”

Diamond sat up straight. “No, Miss Cheerilee, I wasn’t.”

Twilight humphed. “Well, Spike cares about the future of power and technology, don’t you, Spike?” Twilight looked to the stairs in time to see the end of Spike’s tail slipping out of sight. A second later, Spike impacted the main room’s floor.

“I’m okay,” he said weakly.

“Spike, what have I told you about running from my lectures?” Twilight asked loudly, then looked at Diamond Tiara. “Baby dragons can be so difficult sometimes,” she said with a smile.

Diamond scoffed. “Well, maybe if I had one, I’d understand. I’ll ask daddy to get me one for the Running of the Leaves, it’s my least favorite holiday. Daddy says it’s a pointless holiday with ponies just running around to waste time that could be used being productive. Instead, he gives me presents for how good I’ve been,” she said and flounced her mane.

“So, how much unrefined coal do you get then?” Twilight snarked back.

Silver Spoon giggled and lifted her head. “Good one, Miss Twilight.”

Diamond stuck her tongue out at Twilight and crossed her forelegs over her chest with a dismissive sniff and looked away.

Twilight smirked. “Thank you. How do you feel?”

“Like I’m not gonna lose my legs from cramps. Thank you for helping rub them, I’ve never run so much or so far in my life.”

“Over a colt, of all reasons,” Diamond Tiara said scornfully to Silver Spoon. “If you had a good reason, you wouldn’t have run all the way here in the first place.”

Silver narrowed her eyes. “And, as I recall, you were just as excited to get here to tell Miss Twilight, so you challenged me to a race.”

Diamond looked away from her friend again. “I wasn’t really excited, I was just teasing you and wanted to show you how silly you were being. It had nothing to do with who or what the message was.”

“Ugh, whatever. You’re just jealous he likes me more than you,” Silver teased with a little sing-song to her voice.

“He does not! Uh, matter to me like that,” Diamond tried to cover her slip, “because I don’t like colts that way.”

Silver giggled. “I knew it! You like Snickers. You like Snickers! Snickers and Diamond sitting with me in a tree...”

“I do not,” Diamond defended herself while standing up, “stop singing that dumb song.”

“...k-i-s-s-i-n-g.”

Both were surrounded by Twilight’s magic and silenced. “Girls, I’m sorry to interrupt, but I don’t have time for silly filly games. Is there anything else you need from me?” Both fillies shook their heads. “Okay then, you may see yourselves out.” Both fillies felt a spell wash over them, unknowing of what it was, before they were released.

They left the library side by side, refreshed and in good spirits as they made their way back to the farm to meet the CmC and help plan another cutie mark attempt.

---

Scootaloo adjusted the helmet she wore and reared onto her hind legs with the help of a special brace that attached to her thighs with bungee cords to offset the balance difference. She clapped her padded hooves together and grinned confidently. “Ready to go down on me?”

Several adults snickered and Snickers facehoofed. Diamond snerked. “Are you sure that’s what you meant?”

Scootaloo grinned at Diamond. “Yeah, she’s gonna go down because I’m gonna knock her down; so she’s going down on me.”

“Scootaloo, stop talking,” Silver Spoon snapped from across the boxing ring, “and get ready to go down on me.”

Ponies were laughing now, Snickers was blushing at the filly he liked talking to the filly that liked him, talking about going down on one another without knowing what they were implying through double entendre.

“Don’t listen ta them, Scootaloo, kick her flank!” Apple Bloom cheered.

“Yeah,” Sweetie Belle cheered, “it’s okay if you tie, because you can go down on each other then.”

Diamond Tiara, along with most of the other members of the gym, lost it and gave in to the humor while Silver Spoon and Scootaloo squared off. They took hesitant two legged steps closer and closer, then Silver threw the first punch and spun on a hoof, landing flat on the floor with Scootaloo following, landing on top of her.

Snickers rushed into the ring and pulled a short quick-release rope on Scootaloo’s standing device and helped her to her hooves before doing the same to Silver Spoon.

“Let’s just go,” he said, leaving the ring without listening to the fillies, not that he could hear over the laughter in the gym, which he’d avoid for a while after the failed mark attempt.

…

“Hey, I thought boxing was a good idea,” Scootaloo said, rearing and shadow boxing.

“Yeah, until you started talking about going down on each other,” Diamond snickered and didn’t hide it.

Scootaloo didn’t find it funny. “Well, if Snickers, or you, Diamond Tiara, told us what it meant, maybe I could have gotten my mark in boxing, but you just let those adult ponies laugh at us until we left.”

“The fact they were laughing didn’t matter. You just weren’t gonna do it, and we’ll have to go back to try again later.”

“Or,” Scootaloo said, leaning against Snickers, “we can make our own ring and try to get boxing marks.”

Snickers leaned into Scootaloo. “I dunno, we don’t have gloves, or floor padding, or an adult to watch us, or--”

“Whatever, when has any of that stopped us before, right girls?” Scootaloo said proudly.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle tried to make their smiles seem genuine. “Well, ya see, Scootaloo… Ah dunno about boxin’ in the first place. Ah mean, Ah’m an earth pony and might hurt ya more than Silver Spoon would, on account ‘a that Ah work on the farm doing chores.”

Silver nodded. “Yeah, she might send you to the hospital. You don’t want that, do you?”

“They have good points.” Sweetie Belle added. “Maybe you shouldn’t have the next turn, since boxing was your idea this time. It’s Apple Bloom’s turn, anyway.”

Apple Bloom smirked. “Oh yeah, well… Ah guess we haven’t tried hopscotch.”

“Can it be extreme hopscotch?” Scootaloo asked.

“How in tarnation can ya make hopscotch extreme?”

“Simple,” Scootaloo hopped into the air a few inches and floated down, “flaming rings, a square full of nails, itching powder on the odd numbers and burning powder every other even, and the other evens, we can have a choice of lava or fire! Extreme hopscotch,” Scootaloo finished with pronking in a line, pretending to step on something and shaking her forehoof.

The others looked at Scootaloo like the crazy filly she was being.

“Anyway, where can we even draw it?” Diamond Tiara asked. “You do know every street is dirt, and the ones that aren’t dirt are grassy or gravel.”

Apple Bloom rocked her head in thought, then said, “We can draw it inside.”

“Where, in the Clubhouse?” Diamond scoffed. “You can’t get more than six squared in there, bumpkin.”

Snickers moved between the fillies before the arguing could start and looked at Diamond Tiara, who was the same height as he was. “Apologize, now.”

Diamond harrumphed, and looked away again. “I don’t have to listen to you. You’re just a dumb colt that thinks he’s a stallion. You can’t make me do anything,” she said indignantly.

“Really?” Snickers asked sardonically. “C’mon, girls; let’s get some fruit at the market, I’m buying. Diamond, you can go home since you’re gonna be a bitch about stuff.”

Diamond raised a forehoof, ready to slap Snickers, then held herself and lowered her foreleg. “Fine… I’m sorry I called you a mean word, Apple Bloom.” Diamond didn’t show any remorse and said the words flatly.

Apple Bloom nodded. “Ah’m fine with it, we all know ya have yer moments. Doesn’t mean we ain’t friendly still.”

“Alright, enough of the mushy stuff. Let’s go make an extreme hopscotch ring and box while hopping between squares.”

“No, Scootaloo,” Silver Spoon said. “We’re going to try something less crazy this time. I let you talk me into boxing because I wanted to give it a shot. Instead I had to stand on my hind legs like a weirdo and fell onto my side hard enough to knock the breath out of me, and that was before you landed on me.”

“Well, hopscotch is a dumb cutie mark. What would we do with it, hop around like bunnies?” Scootaloo said, waving her forelegs for emphasis. “At least making it exciting would give us something we can live with for the rest of our lives. Something like lion tamers that teach the lions how to hop, or something. And there’d be flaming rings, and nails, and it’d be awesome.”

Snickers and Diamond Tiara groaned. “This is about Rainbow Dash again, isn’t it?” Snickers asked.

“Yeah, she’s my big sister and if I can be as awesome as her, then she’ll help teach me how to fly better.”

“That’s not how it works,” Sweetie Belle said.

Apple Bloom ignored the others. “Well, not that this isn’t as good as a bowl of applesauce, but Ah’m stickin’ ta my idea.”

…

Applejack sighed and looked at the colt and three fillies sitting in a wash tub outside her farmhouse, scrubbing one another with firm bristle brushes and lots of soap. “Girls, Snickers, can ya explain ta me how ya got tree sap all over ya?”

Sweetie Belle spoke up, “We were playing hopscotch and went under a tree that was collecting sap in a bucket. Scootaloo,” the others looked at the most covered filly, “wanted to make it an extreme jump over the branch in our way and knocked the bucket over onto herself.”

Apple Bloom picked up the story. “Then, her eyes bein’ covered with her mane and all slippery and sticky, walked into another bucket that fell on her head, but right side up.”

“She was off balance and stumbled back toward us, then tripped and the bucket spilled on us,” Snickers finished.

“It wasn’t as cool as I thought it’d be, but I think we almost got our marks in sap collecting,” Scootaloo said, hopefully.

“Ah don’t think a bucket ‘a sap is what I want on my flank, Scoots,” Apple Bloom stated, then pressed harder from her frustration between Scootaloo’s wings, getting a pained nicker from her.

Scootaloo looked back at Apple Bloom. “Not so rough, Apple Bloom, my fur’s supposed to stay on, not come off.”

“Oh, quit yer bellyachin’; Ah’m not takin’ any fur off… the sap is.” Apple Bloom replied.

Scootaloo turned to look at her back and noticed her coat a bit thinner as the sap was brushed away. “Great, I bet two bits that Diamond Tiara teases me for being bald back there. At least it isn’t for my flanks anymore.”

Snickers nodded. “Yeah, I’d hate to kick her ass again.”

Applejack snorted. “Ah don’t like foals cussin’, colts especially. Look here so Ah can give yer muzzle a little lesson in what not ta say.”

“No! Ya can’t,” Apple Bloom turned around to glare at her sister. “He’s precious and shouldn’t be hurt like that. Ah gave him a bloody nose doin’ that, and Ah felt bad fer doin’ it.”

Snickers stopped scrubbing Sweetie Belle and covered his muzzle. “Please don’t…”

Applejack huffed. “Fine, Ah guess Ah should treat ya with more respect. Just do everypony the same, and don’t let me hear ya cussin’ again.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Snickers said with a salute. His eyes widened and he looked at the others in the tub. “Language! I can speak another one, so if I teach you some, then maybe we can get our marks in language speaking.”

The others shared a nod, a grin, then turned to face one another and brought their hooves together in a high-hoof. “cutie mark Crusaders, language experts, yeah!”

Language and Anatomy

“<This is the color red>, repeat and translate,” Snickers said tapping a chalkboard in the village schoolroom.

The response varied from words he didn’t understand, to a near perfect repetition from a few of the seventeen ponies present. He did his best to choose his assistants in the most worrisome, too them, way he could, after learning contractions did not translate.

“<The pnarlick is a sentient vegetable mouse that eats moldy food.>”
“<Miss me once, shame on you. Miss me twice, you are goo.>”
“<Stop. Pop. Lock it. Drop it like it is hot. Now bring it around town.>”
“<Why wait to mate, when any day can be too late?>”

“Twilight Sparkle, Diamond Tiara, Pipsqueak, Dinky… please come to the front of the class, right now!” He demanded as soon as Dinky had finished her repetition, startling the class and adding to the moment by punctuating his statement with a stomp of his rear hoof on the floor and a stern look. The rest of his class oohed at the selected few.

Twilight gulped loudly and pointed to herself while the others got up and marched in line towards Snickers. Twilight looked to Rarity, Cheerilee, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack, to be sure she was singled out. “Twilight Sparkle, is there a reason we’re waiting on you?”

Twilight jumped to her hooves and trotted to the front, lining beside the foals and standing eye level with Snickers, as he was standing on Cheerilee’s desk. Snickers tapped his hoof and looked between the four and moved to stand over Dinky. “<I am a cat, I say ‘meow’.>”

Dinky blinked and then spoke, “<I am a cat, I apekin ‘meow’.>” She smiled.

Snickers moved to Pipsqueak and looked down his snout at the very small colt. “This is a serious class I’ll be teaching, do you think you have what it takes?”

Pipsqueak nodded. “Yessir, boss, sir. You’ll see that I’ll be tops.”

Snickers sniffed and looked pointedly at Twilight. “<One of the only constants in the universe, that follows travelers between stars, are rats.>”

Twilight stiffened and whimpered quietly. “<One of the only hoping the universe remote follows travelers between rats, are stars.>”

Snickers looked down again at Pipsqueak, allowing Twilight to exhale a quiet breath. “<Orange is a color to be wary of.>”

Pipsqueak puffed his chest. “<Orange is a color to be wary of.> How was that?!”

Snickers let a smile pull at his lips and he moved to stand over Diamond Tiara. She was resolute and had a fierce determination in her eyes; one he didn’t recall ever seeing, outside of her trying to fight him. “<If I marry the girl of my dreams, I’ll be happy forever.> Repeat.”

Diamond blinked and her ear twitched. “<If I marry the girl of my dreams, I’ll be happy forever.>”

Snickers stepped back and nodded. “You four are my senior assistants. You will practice with me; an hour a day, every day, until you’re conversational. The phrases I gave you were complicated and pushed to, and past, the constraints of your linguistic abilities, or so I thought,” he smirked, “and save for Twilight interposing two words and replacing another, and Dinky making a new word, you’ve all done terrific.”

The four grinned and looked to one another, then turned around to the applause of the rest of the assembled foals and supporting adults. Twilight beamed with pride to her friends while the foals pulled their same aged assistants with them as they ran to the door and talked among each other about learning a new language and how Snickers could know it.

Snickers hopped to a stool and then the floor, ducked under a happy Twilight that was being swarmed by her friends, and to the other Crusaders. “So, how do you think it went?” Snickers asked.

Scootaloo punched his foreleg just behind his knee, making him stumble. “It was fine, for a weirdo talking class. I’m surprised so many ponies showed up for this thing.”

Silver Spoon stepped beside Sweetie Belle. “Well, I, for one, liked hearing a new language. It’s not a refined as Prench, or as rigid as Germane, but it has a unique flow to it… kind of like southern Neighponese.”

Sweetie just nodded, staying quiet, with a smile.

Diamond Tiara draped a foreleg over Snickers’s back. “Wow, getting away from those foals was like pushing through mud with a pig on my back, but I made it. What, why’re you looking at me like that?” She asked the others.

Apple Bloom’s sly smile spoke volumes. “Well, Ah dunno about y’all, but it sounds like Diamond’s talkin’ a bit friendly, right?”

Snickers nodded to the filly beside him and straightened up, speaking with some refinement in his voice. “Why, darling, I can’t imagine whatever you’re talking about. Why, miss Tiara, here, is speaking simply divine. I’d be surprised to hear anypony say otherwise.”

They all giggled while Diamond was still unsure of what they were talking about. “What are you saying? Am I talking as weird as a chicken on the roof, or something?” Diamond’s ears folded back at their laughter, relaxing when Snickers gave her a hug.

“It’s cool, we’re just having fun,” Snickers said quietly.

Diamond hugged him back, relaxing into his embrace and letting her eyes close as she inhaled deeply and took him in. She let the moment linger, until it ended and he stepped back, turning to the others again.

Stupid filly! Stop it. He isn’t worth it, just tell him off and go back to the way you used to be. Just, make fun of his blank flank… his well toned and well groomed flanks. Smooth flanks that aren’t spoiled with a mark he doesn’t understand.

“Uh, Diamond?” Sweetie’s voice brought Diamond back to the moment. “You were looking at Snickers’s flank for a bit long, is everything okay?”

Diamond noticed Sweetie had stepped between herself and Snickers, letting the others talk while Sweetie, caringly, asked her question.

Diamond resisted the urge to do anything with her lips, from biting to licking them, and then she looked around the room. “Can we talk alone, outside?” Sweetie’s ears rose and she nodded. Following Diamond Tiara from the schoolhouse and around back to the swingset, Sweetie stopped when Diamond turned to face Sweetie Belle and pawed the ground.

“Is everything okay, Diamond Tiara?” Sweetie asked.

Diamond looked at Sweetie, then rocked her head side to side. “Look, I’ll just say it; I’m gay, okay?”

“Yeah, I know that,” Sweetie said, “and that’s totally fine with me and the others, if you’re worried about that being a problem.”

“No… I’m… I think,” Diamond hesitated and looked around again, “I like Snickers,” she said quickly.

Sweetie giggled. “Yeah, he’s really something. I thought he was a real jerk, but he’s way cooler now than he was when he first got here.”

Diamond shook her head. “No, I mean,” she looked around again and her ears drooped, along with her posture and head, “I like-like him.” Sweetie’s eyes widened slightly as she understood the meaning. “I don’t even know why; he’s a colt! A smelly, weird, gross, dirt loving, no washing, dangling dick, colt!”

Sweetie looked around this time and shushed Diamond. “I don’t think you want anypony to hear you, do you?”

Diamond stood up and pointed to the schoolhouse. “I should hate him, like I do every other colt. Why can’t I stop thinking about him? Why is he the one I want to give myself to? What’s…” she sat on her haunches and sighed shakily, “...wrong with me?”

Sweetie gasped and moved to hug Diamond. “There’s nothing wrong with you,” she said, sitting next to Diamond after the hug, “you just have hormones.”

Diamond looked at Sweetie flatly.

Sweetie Belle shook her head and held a forehoof up. “No, seriously. Rarity told me they--”

“I know what they are,” Diamond snapped, “but that’s not what’s happening here! I’m six, almost seven; I’ve always wanted fillies filly my age, or mares a lot older, to show me a good time. When I look at him, all I want to do is hug him and sleep next to him, holding him to me, to my barrel so I can feel his breath on me.

“I want to… have him hold me so I can hear his heartbeat. I…” Diamond blushed and held her breath for a couple seconds, preparing herself to get the next words out. “I thought about him a couple nights ago, at my home, during my private time in the bath.”

Sweetie smirked.

Diamond rolled her eyes. “Oh, don’t look at me like that, you’ve done it to Kiwe a dozen times, I bet.”

Sweetie grinned. “Not just in the bathroom.”

“Ugh, sick,” Diamond grimaced, then giggled, being a filly she couldn’t help it. She became concerned again. “But, I don’t wanna like colts, or stallions. They’re gross and that… thing is just so big and… kinda scary. I don’t want it in me.”

Sweetie scooted closer and touched her side to Diamond’s, then wrapped a foreleg around the pink filly. “Why, did something bad happen to you when you were younger?” Diamond shook her head. “Are you worried a stallion will… rape you?”

Diamond shook her head fervently. “No. Sweet Celestia, no. What if it hurts? What if it breaks something inside me and I have to go to the hospital? What if I can’t pee and my bladder explodes because his semen closes it when he’s done?”

Sweetie restrained a snort as best she could.

“Hey, I heard how sticky that stuff can be, so what if he sticks me closed back there? What if it gets all over and I can’t even poop! What if I get pregnant, and get hungry, and fat; then he leaves me all alone to be with Silver Spoon and Scootaloo? What if--”

Sweetie placed a hoof to Diamond’s mouth. “You have a lot of questions, so why don’t you ask a more experienced mare for answers? I don’t know a lot about this stuff, but it sounds like you’re scared of stuff that you just don’t need to be scared about. But, I do know that semen doesn’t close anything up, even if it is really sticky. And, you won’t get hurt; as long as the stallion is gentle with you, and you close your eyes before any gets in them.”

Diamond leaned away from Sweetie Belle with a disgusted look. “How would it go from back there,” she pointed to her tail, “to my eyes?”

Sweetie shrugged. “That’s what Rarity said she heard. But, can I tell you a secret?”

Diamond nodded and leaned closer so Sweetie could whisper. “Rarity’s a virgin.” Diamond snorted and looked at Sweetie, incredulously. “Serious! She’s never been with a stallion, only her toys. She hasn’t even been with another mare, either.”

“Why not?” Diamond asked, baffled at the revelation.

“She said she was waiting for the right stallion. A ‘take charge’ stallion, not a wimpy submissive, or a veggie beggar. I don’t know what vegetables had to do with it, but she was really drunk, so maybe she meant veggie bringer.”

Diamond shrugged. “Vegetables are good, and I guess having energy is good, too. I don’t really see anything wrong with a stallion bringing vegetables.”

“Well, either way, we should get back before they wonder where we are and start asking questions about what we’ve been doing.”

“Just tell them we were making out under the slide,” Diamond giggled when Sweetie gave her a playful shove. “Sounds better than being all sappy by the swings.”

---

Snickers stood besides his fillies and smiled, looking at the ones he’d chosen to teach more language to. “That is a great sight, the future between two realities starts with a single word.”

Silver huffed. “Whatever that word was, I bet it was something rude and gross, coming from you,” she giggled, “and I had to miss it.”

Scootaloo gave Silver Spoon a smile from over Snickers’s back. “Yeah, I think you were crying on the ground after he bucked you in the gut, if I remember right.”

Silver grimaced.

Snickers shook his head and looked up in thought. “Hm, no, I think I was in the hospital, after Twilight scrambled my brains, and said something about being hungry… maybe.”

Silver Spoon whinnied shortly. “I bet it was something mean about Rarity, why didn’t you like her?”

Apple Bloom, standing at the outside of the line, bumped her hip into Silver Spoon. The action had a domino effect and made all the others stumble and look at her curiously. “Ah don’t wanna hear about that, this’s a good moment. Don’t go spoilin’ it with rememberin’ drama and bad words.”

Snickers nodded. “Yeah, makes sense to me. Thanks, A.B., or, should I say, <Apple Bloom>?”

Apple Bloom stuck out her tongue. “Ah don’t know, that just sounds so weird ta me. Like, how’m Ah supposed ta make that rollin’ ‘owl’ sound, when mah tongue won’t even do that?”

Snickers smirked and Apple Bloom shot him a dirty look. “I didn’t say anything,” Snickers defended.

Apple Bloom nickered. “No, but Ah know when yer gettin’ a dirty thought in yer male brain, and Ah don’t appreciate it, bein’ looked at like that.”

Scootaloo stepped between their line of sight. “Hey, where’s Sweetie Belle and Diamond Tiara?”

Snickers looked past Scootaloo to Apple Bloom. “Learning to make that rolling ‘owl’ sound, I bet.”

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes and looked at her sister, noticing Applejack looking back at their group. “Hey, Snickers? Ah think mah sis is lookin’ at ya.”

“Great,” Snickers quietly groaned, “what’d I do now? Not kiss you in front of her enough?”

“Ya haven’t kissed me fer nearly two weeks, and Ah’m fine with that. Kiwe’s got mah eye, and Ah’m not gonna rush with him like Ah did you.”

Snickers looked pained and touched a hoof to his chest. “Darling, you wound me so. Whyever must you be so harsh to my heartfelt feelings?”

Silver Spoon gave Snickers a playful shove. “You’re such a dork.”

Snickers turned to her and kissed her on the lips, so suddenly Silver Spoon wasn’t expecting it at all. The filly locked up and she blushed, just before falling away from him to her side with a goofy grin on her face. Snickers giggled. “Is that what dorks do to cute fillies? I’ll have to try that on another filly to see if I really am a dork.”

Silver giggle-snorted and her tail made a thump against the floor when it swayed.

“Uh-oh, Snickers broke Silver Spoon again,” Scootaloo sighed dramatically. “I’ll watch over her so no timberwolves get here while she’s down.”

Snickers closed his eyes and let his mind reach out, easily seeing through Laxxie’s eyes as the timberwolf leapt after a small brown rabbit; chasing it for the hunt, more than the meal. A feeling of exhilaration came through the connection and Snickers knew his pup was having a good time just outside the schoolhouse, in the forested area nearby.

Ending the connection, Snickers noticed Applejack arriving to stand over him. He looked up her powerfully built forelegs, her defined and well toned barrel muscles, and along her smooth neck before meeting her unsure eyes; the only part of her that wasn’t as hard as, proverbial, rock.

Applejack blinked and swallowed, “Hey, uh, Snickers? Ah’m mighty proud’a you; takin’ on teachin’ us all some ’a yer language. Ah sure hope that, over the next while, Ah can learn a lot from ya, and… uh, maybe learn a bit about ya, too.”

Snickers blinked and then lowered his head in thought, looking through her legs and to her tail, noticing a rough diagram of a filly against the wall, by the door. “Hm, maybe I can include that, too.”

Applejack stepped back and looked behind her, then down at Snickers, who looked up with a smile. “Thanks, Aj, that’s a great idea.”

Applejack blinked at the colt below her. “What’s that, now? Ah think Ah missed somethin’.”

“Just something about anatomy that I should bring up,” he said looking at the wall again.

Applejack snorted with a nicker, getting Snickers’s attention. “And here Ah thought that talkin’ to ya would be a might neighborly thing ta do, and all ya talk about are my personal bits. Ah should ‘a known this wasn’t worth an apple in a twister,” she turned to walk away, but was stopped by Apple Bloom.

“Hold up, sis. Ah think there’s been a miscomm… a misunderstandin’. Why don’t ya ask him, rather than jump ta another answer that just makes things worse.”

Applejack looked back at Snickers and turned to face him, lowering herself, for once, to be at his level. “Look, Ah know we never seem ta see eye ta eye, and Ah think Ah’ve made a right mess ‘a things in that way. But, Ah’d like ta know what ya mean by what ya said, because Ah don’t wanna stay on bad terms with ya.

“Ah just think that it’d be mighty nice ta see ya and share some kind words, instead ‘a all this trouble we seem ta have.”

Snickers blinked and cocked his head. “Well, that’s fine, I guess. Does this mean you’re gonna stop thinking of me and your sister like foal factories for farm labor?”

Applejack noticeably flinched and closed her eyes. “Ah’m a real donkey fer sayin’ that, and if’n ya’d fergive me, Ah’d like ta start over with ya.”

She opened her eyes and looked into Snickers’s. He smiled and nodded. “Well, there’s a picture on the wall I saw, and I thought I’d talk about my old people’s anatomy a bit. It’s a bit different, based on where you go, but overall; all humans are the same.”

“Well,” Applejack said, “Ah think that’d be neat ta learn about.”

Snickers nodded. “Yeah, and it’s not like I can see anything else under you, I’m under that spell.”

Applejack looked at Apple Bloom and then the other fillies, who each nodded. “Oh, heh, right. Ah don’t have that one on me, but Ah know all about it. Ah just don’t have eyes fer anypony but one, and it ain’t the time. Gotta get the farmin’ and chores done fer the year before anythin’ like that happens.”

Apple Bloom nudged her sister with her head. “But, then there’s all the winter chores ya do. Ya never make time fer anythin’ like that.”

Snickers tapped his hoof on the floor to get the attention of Applejack and the fillies. “Applejack, if you keep saying ‘I’ll get around to it tomorrow’, you’ll find that tomorrow will have been too late. You’ll wake up tomorrow and realize it’s been nine years, you’ve been doing the same thing, and everything has moved on, but you.”

He finished his philosophical moment by tapping Applejack on her nose. A moment passed, in which the foals began to feel awkward, when Applejack moved. The mare’s eye widened and she stood up, turned around, marched through the crowd to stand just beside Rainbow Dash, and tugged the blue mare to the ground with a tug on her tail.

“Hey! What’s the big ide--”

Foals made various gross sounds, Scootaloo pretended to gag, Apple Bloom covered her eyes with her hooves, while still peeking, and Snickers looked away. The adults in the room gave loud and wild cheers as Applejack kissed Rainbow Dash for the first time, Rainbow gladly returning the action after a few shocked seconds that turned into something that Twilight and Cheerilee had to end by pulling them apart.

The doors to the schoolhouse opened and the foals rushed out; fillies galloping into groups to talk about what had just happened, while the colts walked quickly and awkwardly after being exposed to certain scents in the room by the kissing mares.

Snickers walked out of the schoolhouse holding his breath and exhaled just in time to have magic wash over him. He looked back to see Rarity following his herd. “Darling, whyever are you leaving? Aren’t you happy for our friends? Why, Pinkie Pie is already planning the party and, of course, you’re invited.”

Snickers smiled and shook his head. “Nah, they’re your friends more than mine, and Rainbow’s a counselor to me, it should just be y’all, er, you all.”

Rarity grinned. “Adapting quite well, aren’t we, my little prince?”

Snickers blushed and looked away, Silver Spoon giggling and nuzzling him didn’t help. “I dunno, mom. I’ve got stuff to do, so I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

“Fine by me, my little prince. If you see Kiwe on your way home, let him know I’ll be out tonight celebrating, so he should adjust the meal appropriately. Also, I’d like it if you would go into my sewing room and stack the red fabric and blue fabric into their color coordinated boxes. I noticed you and your herd sisters tried a little crusading earlier and didn’t bother to clean up, again.”

Snickers felt his ears fall back. “Yes, mother. I’m sorry, and we’ll clean up.”

Rarity nodded and walked to Snickers. “Thank you. Have a good evening, and I’m so proud of you for what you’re doing. You may not realize this, but it means a lot to a lot of ponies that you’re willing to teach us something about you, after all this time.”

Snickers hugged Rarity back, somewhat surprised at the revelation. He turned and followed the fillies along the path for a while, then noticed Sweetie and Diamond had rejoined their group and were making gross faces while being told of the mares kissing.

“Sweetie, how much do you know about me?” Snickers asked suddenly.

Sweetie shrugged. “I guess that you say you’re an alien, and you’re really smart, but you don’t show it, and… well, that’s most of it.”

The others nodded. “Well,” Scootaloo added, “you’re also being followed by a bunch of spirits, for some reason. Oh! And you have a timberwolf puppy, she’s really fun now, but she was really scary at first. Not that I was scared of her.”

Laxxie barked and ran around the corner, slightly ahead of them as they entered town. Scootaloo screamed and hopped several feet into the air, grabbing a tree branch and dangling upside down, shivering. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon tittered snidely. “Look who’s too tough, now?” Diamond mocked.

“Like a chicken pretending to be a cat, right Snickers? Uh-oh,” Silver tapped Diamond and quickly backed away from the group.

Snickers was scowling at the two, Laxxie had just started growling; the vines on her back rising like spines, and the other CmC glared. “So, is that how it is? Are you two just pretending to be nice, so I don’t hurt you again?”

Silver Spoon fell to her belly and clapped her forehooves together. “No, please, believe me! It was just a little teasing, like we’ve been doing for weeks. It wasn’t supposed to be that way.”

Diamond stood her ground, though her shaking knees gave away her anxiety. “It happened, and I’m not gonna run away from you.” Diamond’s instincts told her to prostrate herself like Silver had done, beg for forgiveness, and do something to appease the alpha male in front of her. “I’m not scared of you, you won’t bully me.”

Snickers moved to stand inches from her, muzzle to muzzle. “Like you used to bully my fillies? Silver’s sorry, what about you? Or, are you the one just pretending to be nice? Are you gonna buck me when I’m not looking?”

Diamond’s ears twitched and she lost her defiant look. She averted her eyes and leaned back. “N-no, I’m not mean anymore. I’m nice now, I know who I want to be… thanks to you.” Diamond looked into Snickers’s eyes, growing defiant. “And, I won’t let you take that away from me.”

Snickers smiled and exhaled, Laxxie relaxed, and Scootaloo crashed to the ground with an ‘oof’. He stepped forward and hugged Diamond, taking her by surprise. “I’m so glad to hear that, Diamond. If I lost you as a friend… I don’t know how long it would take me to get over it.”

Diamond whimpered and hugged him back, tightly. “I don’t want to lose you, Snickers. <You jerk>.”

They shared a short laugh and pulled apart.

“Silver Spoon, get up,” Snickers said, holding a forehoof out to help her stand. He pulled her into a hug as well.

“Eep! Oh, this is nice. Hmm, you give the best hugs, honey. Er, Snickers.” Silver Spoon hugged him, too shortly for her.

Scootaloo wasn’t having any of the sappiness. “Euck, if I knew getting scared would make you all sappy, I’d never have pretended to be scared in the first place. You know, Rainbow Dash wouldn’t have been scared, either.”

The others all groaned and started walking further into town. A mental image was shared between Laxxie and Snickers, being approved quickly by the colt. With the quiet sound of wood creaking and splintering, Laxxie reformed into her timberpony form to help prevent the ponies in town from panicking, again.

“I don’t get it,” Sweetie Belle said, giving Laxxie a glance, “why does the timberpony get treated better than the timberwolf? They’re the same creature, right?”

Snickers didn’t hesitate to answer. “Because, ponies are xenophobic creatures of prey that have managed to take control of nearly the whole planet through means unobtainable by all other races.”

All the fillies stopped to look at him. “So, what’s that mean?” Apple Bloom asked.

Snickers rolled his eyes. “<You are too damned innocent, even with your perversions>. Look, it means that ponies are scared really easily by anything different.”

“Oh, except what you said at first, that makes sense. It’s hard being at the bottom of the food chain and being at the top of it, too.”

“Yeah,” Snickers said, dismissively, and started walking again, “that’s exactly what I was talking about.”

---

“Twilight, are you ready?” Snickers asked the mare as she eagerly pranced between her hooves in place. The sound of metal meeting wood pounded into Snickers’s head and he stared at her, while Spike sorted books into their shelves. Diamond Tiara, Pipsqueak, and Dinky sat in their assigned desks, not seemingly bothered by Twilight’s noisy shoes.

Spike cleared his throat. “Twilight, this is the library, shouldn’t you be quieter?” Twilight’s horn flashed and her hooves stopped making noise while they still moved. Spike and Snickers groaned. “I guess that’s one way to beat the system.”

Snickers tapped his hoof on the floor. “Please, sit down and pay attention, Twilight.”

Twilight conjured a desk for herself and sat in the seat, already formed to her posture, as scrolls and quills appeared around her, floating in her magic. Snickers raised an eyebrow and Twilight energetically giggled.

“I have one scroll for what you’re going to teach, one for notes about what you’re writing, one for speaking, one for phonetic patterns, one for my classmates performance, one for--”

Snickers stepped loudly onto the floor, silencing Twilight. “You’re allowed two notepads, no scrolls or parchment. Also, only pencils will be accepted by me as writing implements, unless I choose otherwise.”

Twilight gasped as though she were punched in the diaphragm. “B-but, pencils… paper… I-I can’t be expected to conduct formal research--”

“Silence in the classroom, as class has begun,” Snickers announced in the same manner Cheerilee tended to do. Twilight cut herself off mid sentence and sucked in her bottom lip, clearly biting it with her teeth as she dispelled all her writing implements and looked down at Pipsqueak, sitting beside her.

She poked him with a hoof and he looked at her from the corner of his eye, then smiled and gave her his notebook and pencil before taking another from his saddlebag. Twilight relaxed when she read the first lines on the first page:

Had a thought you’d need this, so I brought an extra one, I did. Keep it. Mum’s got me plenty with the learning we’re about to do. -Pip

Twilight lifted the pencil in her magic and looked at the tip, noting it wasn’t at a perfect point. She began looking for a pencil sharpener, when one was added to her desk by Pipsqueak, who sat down and gave her a knowing wink.

Meanwhile, Snickers was on the other side of the provided blackboard, finishing a drawing, before he turned the entire board around to show his assistants. The group blinked at the lettering provided, then the image of a very tall biped along the length of the right edge of the blackboard. Snickers shook his head and patted his muzzle.

“Wow,” he coughed quietly, “that’s really dusty. I’d better hurry with integrated circuitry, or I’ll have chalk sticks growing in my lungs.”

Twilight’s foreleg shot up and she waved her forehoof eagerly. Snickers shook his head. “No, Twilight, I wasn’t serious. I know full well chalk doesn’t grow. I will also, someday, -not today- explain what integrated circuitry is. So, first off, I’ll cover this handsome guy to the right,” Snickers said with a smile. “This, my classmates, is the type of human I was.”

Spike landed on the floor and pattered across the room, to Twilight’s side, in a few seconds to see. “Hey, that’s not like in the books at all,” Spike commented.

Snickers hummed. “Really? So, you know about the changes several thousand years across the vastness of the eternal void of space? The effects it has on different creatures, the changes those creatures undergo, and how they all adapt to new environments?”

Spike nodded and Twilight tapped him on the head. “No you don’t, Spike… do you?”

“Well, how would he have known, if you didn’t bring it up?” Spike asked Twilight.

“Well, I happen to have a pretty good idea, having been one of the variants of humans,” Snickers interrupted Spike and Twilight before they could start arguing. “As you can see, I… oh, wait a second...” Snickers picked up some chalk and scratched, clacked, and tapped another drawing that his head blocked, until he was done.

“There we go, as you can see, I was a bit taller than a pony,” he chuckled when he saw their reactions.

“But, the books make it sound like a pony would stand at the middle of your body, not barely at your knees,” Dinky said. “You’re not fibbin’, are you?”

Snickers shook his head. “No, certainly not. My lineage had been traveling the stars for a while. By the time I was born, we had adapted to the low gravity environment of spaceships. The planets we’d been on were of low gravity, compared to Earth Prime, and each planet had to have a certain limit, or our bodies wouldn’t be able to support ourselves.

“As you can see, my variant was nearly six ponies tall while being about a pony length wide. We were usually very thin, as fat wasn’t something we really needed in our artificial environments, but when we did gain weight, it tended to fill out across our torso’s evenly. There were few of our kind that were overweight, but they were referred to as ‘tipsy barrels’.”

While her pencil wrote, Twilight crossed her forelegs over her chest. “I don’t think that’s a very nice term. It sounds insulting, if you ask me.”

“That it was, Twilight, very good,” Snickers said and tapped the tall human’s leg. “A top heavy ‘tall boy’, as we were known, easily lost balance when carrying anything too heavy over our center of gravity, so an overweight tall boy would either have to carry less, or risk falling over. Conversely, there was the option of doing nothing, which would have led to a trip to the camps,” Snickers shook his head.

Twilight slowly rose her foreleg, she didn’t smile when she was called upon. “Were they… torture camps?”

The room fell silent as Snickers stared at her. “Why the fuck would they torture fat people?” He blurted and covered his mouth with his hooves. Dinky gasped, Pipsqueak snorted, and Twilight frowned. Diamond Tiara smiled and nodded appreciatively. “Sorry about that, but… wow, Twilight.

“No, they were just workout camps where every fat guy would go. They’d be on diets and routines to help them get thinner, then back to their lives. Can’t make <credits> if you don’t work, after all.”

“What’re <credits>?” Diamond asked.

Snickers tapped his chin and noticed he had chalk on his muzzle again. “Oh, they’re bits; only imaginary. It’s part of a very complicated system I’ll share with you in the future.”

Twilight’s foreleg rose again, along with a repeated whinney. Snickers sighed and nodded. “But, how can we understand what we’re learning about if we don’t know the whole story behind the term? I think we should start with the invention of these, imaginary bits, <credits>, and work from there.”

Snickers frowned and walked to Twilight and looked around, hearing a telltale scritching sound that stopped when he stopped moving. He took a step to the left and heard the sound again. Narrowing his eyes at Twilight, Snickers held her gaze.

Twilight started to tremble, a bead of sweat formed and trailed down her head, and finally she gave in. “I’m sorry, but I have to do research, and I can’t do it like this,” she said, moving two scrolls into view and holding them beside her head.

Snickers reared up and rested his forehoof on her desk to maintain balance while holding his other forehoof out to her. She gave him her scrolls and he slipped them into his mouth, moved to the far side of the room, and spat them on the floor. He moved back to the board and looked at Twilight.

“Miss Twilight Sparkle, you are not allowed to use your magic during these lessons without permission, or in dire circumstances that require it. And to clarify, dire means danger to the life, limb, or physical wellbeing of another living creature; not helping your classmates with simple tasks.”

Diamond shivered and resisted the urge to curl her tail over her lap. Why does he have to be so assertive now of all times? Why is it getting to me so much? Stop it, stupid body, don’t give in to him. Think about Twilight, she’s cute and submissive. In tight socks and a frilly skirt that shows off her...

No! Snickers shouldn’t wear that, she should!

“Diamond Tiara, are you feeling okay?” Snickers asked, startling the filly. “You’re sweating and are rocking a lot, do you need a break?”

All eyes on her, Diamond shook her head. “No! I don’t need anything of yours, er, your… g-generosity! Thank you, but no,” she took in a deep breath, then exhaled, “I’ll be okay. Just, I was just distracted. I’ll focus again, Mast… Mister Snickers.”

Snickers chuckled and leaned close to her. “I’m not your master, or alpha, <best gay friend>, so stop teasing me,” he said, then backed up. “Okay, but if you need anything, let me know.”

For the first time, Diamond Tiara felt her heart ache at being called a friend by somepony she didn’t think she cared about. As Snickers returned to the board, Diamond got up and ran from the area and out the library door. Snickers watched her go in confusion, then watched as Twilight vanished in a purple sphere and flash of magic.

Snickers nickered and resigned himself to the struggle of teaching. “Um… recess was called, I guess. We’ll start letters when we all get back. Fifteen minutes, with or without them.”

Clarity, Happy Nights, and Rough Mornings

Diamond ran from the library to the nearest alley and stood just inside the shadow cast by the house she leaned against. Glad it was clean, Diamond sat and buried her face in her forelegs and trembled, letting quiet cries escape that she couldn’t keep in.

“Diamond Tiara?” Twilight asked from the street, just outside the shadow. Diamond sniffled, but didn’t answer. “Is there anything I can do to help you? You left suddenly, and I think I know why.”

Twilight walked into the alley and sat beside Diamond, willing to take rejection from the filly, if only to know Diamond was okay enough to be left alone. A short exhale escaped Twilight when Diamond wrapped her forelegs around her body and squeezed. Twilight quickly cast a silencing charm on the walls by them to the end of the alley ahead and just behind them.

Just in time, as Twilight had figured, because Diamond began crying openly into her coat.

“Why? Why, Miss Twilight?” Diamond asked as she forced her sobs down.

“Why what, Diamond?” Twilight asked.

“Why does it hurt?”

Twilight’s mind raced through answers to the question. “Can you explain what you mean? I need to have more to go on.” Twilight maintained a clinical voice, but still hugged Diamond Tiara lightly.

“He… Snickers… he… said… I’m a friend! Why does it hurt so much, Miss Twilight?” Diamond wailed and buried her muzzle into Twilight’s chest with her eyes shut.

Twilight realized, at that moment, that she didn’t need knowledge from books; she needed experience. Twilight sighed quietly and patted Diamond’s back, pet her gently through her mane, and waited, much like her own mother had done, for the filly to calm down a little.

“Diamond, do you have feelings for Snickers?” Diamond weakly shook her head, still pressing to Twilight’s chest. “Do you like him?” Twilight asked.

Diamond sniffled, then nodded.

“Well, do you think he likes you the same way?” Twilight furthered her question.

Diamond shrugged, then shook her head and started trembling again. Twilight felt a chill along her underbelly and knew it was going to be a mess when Diamond was done crying onto her.

“Diamond, you know he likes you as a friend, right?” Diamond nodded, still crying. “And you’ve only known him for a little while?”

Diamond leaned back and a trail of snot connected them, only seen by Twilight as Diamond’s watery eyes were looking up. “What’s it matter? I hate him, he’s just a big, dumb… <fuck>! I don’t ever wanna see him again, and if he tries to talk to me… I’ll…” Diamond whimpered and broke into tears again. “I wanna hug him, Miss Twilight. I don’t wanna lose him, but I don’t want him near me!”

Twilight understood how her mother felt at that moment, so many years ago, and just hugged Diamond to her again to let the filly cry. Another minute passed before Twilight spoke, “Do you still hate him?”

Diamond shook her head.

“Can I see you for a moment?” Twilight asked.

“No. I’m ugly, and I’m crying, and I’m all sad looking,” Diamond reasoned.

Twilight’s horn glowed and Diamond’s head moved from Twilight’s body; the filly was, indeed, as she claimed. Twilight wouldn’t ever say as much though.

Twilight smiled kindly. “Diamond, all I see is a strong, beautiful, passionate young mare that has a long life of love and hurt in her future.”

Diamond snuffled and wiped her muzzle across her foreleg, not caring about the mess she’d made. “Why am I going to be hurt in my future, Miss Twilight?”

Twilight sighed and used her forelegs to move Diamond to a sitting position between her forelegs, so Twilight could hold Diamond and look into her eyes while she spoke. “You’re going to have a lot of love, and a lot of lovers. You’re going to lose a lot of them, too. Some will leave you, some you’ll leave.

“There will be some that want you that you don’t want, and others you’ll want that don’t want you. Everypony goes through it, from the Princesses at the top,” Twilight pointed toward where Canterlot lay outside their sight, “to the cutest little filly, crying in an alley,” Twilight tapped Diamond on her snout.

Twilight caressed Diamond’s cheek with a hoof. “You’re still young, and no matter how you feel now; it will get better. If you care for that colt, then you be yourself and let him see you for who you are. If he sees the mare in you that he wants to be with, great! If he doesn’t, it’s still great. Do you wanna know why?” Twilight asked and rested her forehoof on Diamond’s hind leg.

Diamond nodded, her crying had stopped and she was listening intently. “Why?” Diamond whispered.

“Because it means there’s an even better pony out there for you, that deserves you when he said ‘no’.”

Twilight ticked Diamond’s belly and got her to laugh. Diamond sniffled and wiped her eyes. “But, what if… he likes me, but I don’t know what to do? I mean,” Diamond continued before Twilight could answer, “he’s the first colt I’ve ever liked, at all. I don’t know what to do with colts, I don’t like anything about them.

“They’re just… not fillies, or mares. Why is he the first?” Diamond asked with more vulnerability than she’d ever shown.

Twilight sighed. “Well, sometimes a pony just has to do what our bodies tell us, and we have to ignore our brains. Our hearts want what they want, and that’s something I know, because I’m sisters-in-law with Princess Cadence.” Twilight smiled down at Diamond and ran a hoof through the filly’s forelocks and adjusted her tiara to just right.

Diamond whined. “But, I don’t wanna follow my heart when it leads me to boys! They’re gross, right?”

Twilight repressed a snerk at how familiar the scene playing out was. “Yes, they are. They’re gross, and smelly, and have weird manes,” Diamond nodded in agreement, “and they have gross parts that just hang and dangle around,“ Diamond gasped as though she’d never though an adult had the same thoughts, “and they just look so cute, even when they’re mad.”

Diamond frowned, but nodded.

Twilight nodded firmly. “And no matter what they do, and how many times we wanna hit them, they always get away at the last second, right?”

“Yeah! I was gonna shove Snickers the first time we met, but he hit me and Silver Spoon! Can you believe it?!” Diamond blurted. “I never got hit by a colt before, and I was so mad that I messed up my room and yelled at my daddy.

"I didn’t eat supper because of Snickers, and I was so mad that I was gonna beat him up again,” Diamond stood and wiped her nose, stomping her hooves on the ground.

Diamond fumed for a moment. “I was gonna sneak attack him, but he ducked and I hurt my muzzle, and got grounded again. Then, my best friend ditched me to hang out with him. With him, can you believe it, Miss Twilight?!

“I was so mad, I planned to play nice and beat him up when he wasn't looking, but then… he was really cool, and we hanged out a lot, and I didn’t have to be mean to anypony for him to laugh with me.

"And he was fun to play with, and I learned he was special; the most special pony ever, I think. And then he disappeared, Miss Twilight,” Diamond said, standing at the edge of the sunlight and shadow that hid her. “I was… so scared for him, and all my new friends that he helped me make were scared, too. I stayed up late with a light in my window, in case he’d see it and find his way back to us.

“I prayed to Celestia, and I never did that before,” Diamond looked back at Twilight, somberly. “I cried every night, even though I did everything I could in the days to help look for him. I even got my daddy to hire hot air balloons and pegasi to look over the countryside… then, just like that, he was back,” Diamond stepped into the light and felt the warmth of the sun though her coat, against her skin.

“I cried when I found out, Miss Twilight, and I was happy. I’d never been happier in my whole life to know he was alive after being lost in the Everfree Forest. I waited outside the hospital, but I couldn’t go in,” Diamond stepped back into the shadows to look at Twilight with her posture slumped.

“I just… couldn’t see him, because I was scared.”

“Why did you feel scared?” Twilight asked.

“Because, what if he was mad that I didn’t find him, or that I didn’t look hard enough. Maybe the light in my window wasn’t bright enough, or maybe he was hurt really bad.

"What if he’d lost something, like his legs to a timberwolf, or what if he just forgot about me and how I’d changed; how he’d changed me to be the pony I didn't know I wanted to be.”

Twilight nodded. “That’s a lot of what-if’s, but what happened when he did see you?”

Diamond sobbed with a smile. “He looked at me… and said he missed me. Me, the filly that was so mean to him when we met, and I lied to him; to try to hurt him, and then… he missed me.

"After everything I’d been told, after my mom helped me plan revenge for getting hurt, after losing so much of myself to try to be better than him…”

Diamond let tears fall from her face as she looked at Twilight, and the mare smiled with a nod.

Diamond took a shaky breath in and turned to the street. “I love him, Miss Twilight. I don’t want to, and I don’t know what to do, but he means so much to me now, that I can’t think of who I’d be without him.”

Twilight stepped beside Diamond and, together, they walked into the light. Twilight cast a spell, refreshing Diamond Tiara and restoring her to a clean and groomed filly, before doing the same to herself. Diamond looked up at Twilight, her eyes still brimming with tears.

“Diamond, I think you know what you have to do. But, just let it happen and don’t rush it. If it’s meant to happen; it will, okay?”

Diamond nodded and wiped her eyes on her clean foreleg. She took in a deep calming breath, and exhaled. “Thanks, Miss Twilight. I didn’t know you knew so much,” Diamond said quietly.

Twilight smiled widely. “It’s just something my mother told me when I went through something similar. If you have any other questions, you can come to me anytime, okay?”

Diamond hummed in thought. “What about… you know, sex? Between mares and stallions, because I think there’s a lot I don’t know, if you know anything about that stuff?” Diamond asked, scuffing the ground.

Twilight laughed and grinned. “Filly, if there’s anypony to ask about that, it’s me,” Twilight said proudly.

Diamond sighed. “Sure, where’s the sex-ed section in the library?”

Twilight snorted. “Psh, those books don’t offer anything real experience can give. When the time comes, I’ll show you my special room. Not even Rainbow Dash could believe it when she saw it the first time, and we were in there for an hour,” Twilight looked into the distance with a sigh, “what an hour. Anyway, let’s get back before we miss something, okay?”

Diamond nodded with a smirk and followed Twilight back to the library feeling like a weight she didn’t know she’d been carrying had been taken from her withers.

---

The day was nearing its end. Snickers and Laxxie were sitting in his room with Diamond Tiara, Sweetie Belle, and Kiwe. Laxxie was standing in her timberpony form, staring at Snickers. “C’mon, say ‘hello’.”

“Apa. Ampa.”

Diamond snorted. “She’s not gonna talk, all she can say is ‘Apa’. What’s that even mean? Is she asking for salad, a nap, maybe?”

Snickers tried to connect with Laxxie, but only feelings of endearment were returned. “Ugh, let’s look at this from her perspective. What would she want to say to me?”

Kiwe hummed. “It seems, my friends, that you are the means to her end. She only says the word to you, so maybe that, in itself, is the clue.”

Sweetie nodded and clapped her forehooves. “Yeah, do what Kiwe said! It’s gotta work, just find the clue. Hmm, apa. Appa. Apa. Ah-pa. Ap-pah… wait,” Sweetie said suddenly and looked at Laxxie. “Alpha? Is that what you’re saying?”

Laxxie hopped and seemed to smile. “Apa, apa!” She moved to nuzzle Snickers with her mossy fur and Snickers laughed.

“Okay, I’m the alpha! I get it,” he hugged Laxxie and grinned at Sweetie Belle. “Nice work, auntie.”

Sweetie blushed and glanced at Kiwe. “I’m not like an older auntie.”

Diamond tapped Laxxie’s hindquarters. “Hey, can you say anything else? How about Diamond Tiara?”

“That’s way too hard for her to say,” Snickers said.

“Apa,” Laxxie looked into Diamond’s eyes and cocked her head, “I’mod.”

The room fell silent as they all stared at Diamond Tiara, who stared at Laxxie. “<Holy shit>,” Diamond said breathily. Her wide eyes stayed locked to Laxxie’s, then Laxxie turned to look at Kiwe.

“Kee-eh. Eek-ee. Apa,” Laxxie said, looking at each in turn before she started shaking her head and quickly reverted to her timberwolf form. Her tail smacked Diamond Tiara as it wagged, not breaking the stunned foals from the timber-creature in their midst.

Snickers was tackled by Laxxie and laughed as he got sappy kisses from her, before he realized he’d have to take another bath if she didn’t stop. A mental thought was sent and Laxxie stepped back with a whimper and dropped ears. She waited until Snickers was on his hooves again, then she nuzzled his muzzle and stepped back.

“Wow, I didn’t know she could suck up sap,” Sweetie exclaimed. “Why didn’t we have her with us yesterday, when we got sap in our manes?”

“Hey, I didn't even know she could do that,” Snickers attested. “Hey, I’ve had to take a bunch of extra baths because of you,” Snickers pushed Laxxie back a step and gave her a frown. “Why didn’t you un-sap me then?”

Snickers sighed when an image of Laxxie, as Pup, played in the water with Snickers, along with feelings of joy, happiness, and love.

“Fine, but from now on, keep us sap free, okay?” Snickers said, pulling Laxxie into a one legged hug while she pushed her muzzle away in a little play fight.

“What’d she show you, Snickers?” Sweetie asked.

Snickers answered while struggling with Laxxie for dominance of their position. “Oh, just that she likes playing in the bath with me. She’s, like, two weeks old, so it makes sense.”

“Yes, it is well known that young like to play with those they love. Whether in the bath, or while sharing a shove,” Kiwe chuckled.

Diamond moved to Snickers’s bed and leaned against it, looking at her polished hoof. “Whatever, as long as Laxxie isn’t scaring the flower sisters, I don’t really care.”

“The horror, the horror,” Sweetie shouted, then fell to her side and twitched her legs, getting a round of laughs that she stood and bowed at. “Thank you, thank you. I also do a great imitation of my sister, Rarity.”

Rarity stepped into the room at that moment. “Let’s not hear that one, I hear it’s quite the showstopper. It’s nearly time to tuck in, what do you plan for sleeping arrangements?” Rarity asked, a determined and knowing glint in her eye.

Kiwe moved besides Snickers while Diamond, reluctantly, moved beside Sweetie Belle. “I guess we can sleep like this,” Diamond said flatly. “Not like anything’s gonna happen, there’s no matching couples between us, and I’m not into any of these colts, or Sweetie. Sorry, you’re not my type,” Diamond said, honestly and bashfully.

Rarity thought it over and then rolled her eyes. “I know of your herd dynamics, and that Kiwe doesn’t seem to want to be with any of you. I’ll allow you to sleep together, on the condition that the door remains open, Snickers sleeps between Kiwe and Sweetie Belle, and that Diamond is in charge of making sure nothing untoward happens.”

The foals nodded and Diamond, glad of her coloring, felt herself blush ever so slightly.

They got into bed, with Laxxie moving by the door and curling up before crumbling into a pile of sticks. Rarity tucked them in, turned off the light, and half closed the door before wishing them sweet dreams and leaving.

After a long day of adventure, fun, and learning; they were all pretty tired. Kiwe was the first to fall asleep and turned his back to Diamond, who bristled at the sensation, but dealt with it. She managed to lay beside Snickers for the first time, her nerves making her tremble, even though his back was to her.

Diamond wanted to wrap her legs around him, holding him close to her, but it didn’t feel right. Eventually, she lost track of time and sleep claimed her, the last thing she saw was the moonlight shining off his silvery mane.

…

Diamond was warm, warmer than she wanted to be. There was a pressure on her that kept her cozy, though. Nuzzling into whatever was around her, her ear pressed against something firm, yet soft. She cooed quietly and relaxed to a steady rhythmic sound that lulled her back to sleep.

Her eyes opened and her heart raced in her chest as she realized what she was hearing. She took stock of her position and who was holding her, and she repressed a squee.

She realized she had tensed nearly every muscle in her body, then took several calming breaths to relax and melt back into Snickers’s warm hug.

Her ear rested against his chest again and she listened to his heartbeat for several minutes. When he twitched, it would speed up, when he was calm, it was steady.

She mewled quietly and moved a little closer to him, savoring every second she could get, not that she’d admit it. Eventually, the silence of the night and his breathing, combined with the steady thumping inside his chest, pulled her back to sleep with the biggest smile she’d ever dozed with.

…

Diamond held Snickers’s foreleg to her, not wanting to let him go as she was moved slightly. She didn’t want the night to end, and somepony was trying to make her let him go by moving her forelegs. She held tighter and shoved whoever it was back. She heard an ‘eep’, hoping whoever it was would leave her to her blissful night.

Finally, Snickers’s leg was pulled from her and she reached for anything else of him, but only managed to feel the warm, empty, spot where he was just lying. She sat up and blearily looked around the dark room. Kiwe to one side, nearly off the bed. Sweetie opposite where Snickers was. Where’d he go? Diamond thought, then fell back and moved her tail so she wasn’t lying on it.

Diamond heard the toilet flush and smirked. Boys gotta pee, too, she mused as she fell back asleep.

Diamond felt the bed rock and bounce as Snickers came back, then all was still and quiet again.

…

Diamond snorted awake when she felt somepony touch her teats. Still mostly asleep, she looked side to side, then down, and smiled, lay her head back, and started to doze again. Her hind legs went rigid and she looked down with unfocused eyes.

He was there, lying on her. Her foreleg was across his neck; she was holding him to her. He was lying on her, she could feel his breath against her coat, each breath tickling the hairs on her chest. She kicked her hind legs a little and squeed, grinning to the ceiling while she punched a forehoof to the ceiling in victory. She calmed down and looked at the sleeping colt, brushed his silvery mane from his face, and saw him drooling on her.

She grit her teeth and glared at him; then he smiled and smacked his lips, moving his muzzle against her, eliminating any harsh feelings she’d had as she watched him smile and twitch his foreleg against her belly. A bit lower than she’d have admitted she wanted, but it wasn’t bad, by any means.

Diamond felt like she was being watched and glanced to the door, seeing Rarity with a blush and proud grin, looking at Diamond with a wink before the mare backed from the doorway and closed it almost all the way.

What the Tartarus was she doing? Why’d she close the door? What does she think is gonna happen? Perverted mares.

Diamond let her mind wander for a moment and a hot blush flushed her cheeks, but she knew nothing like that would happen.

She held Snickers close to her and turned to her side a little, letting him scoot closer and hug her like she felt she deserved to be. I wonder if this is what it’s like to have a foal. Is this why mares say all stallions are just big babies? I should ask somepony that knows that kinda stuff, Diamond yawned and relaxed, but that’s for later.

Right now, I’m going to enjoy my alpha stallion, in secret.

---

Snickers gave Diamond a nudge, watching as she snorted and smacked her lips. He shoved her gently again, watching her ear twitch.

“Oh my Celestia, this is taking too long,” Silver Spoon complained and crawled onto the bed. Silver slipped her forehooves under Diamond and, without anything else, lifted. Diamond Tiara woke up on her second rotation in the air with a screech, then landed on somepony on the floor.

“Ouch! Silver Spoon, you bucking, uncaring, rude, four eyed…” Diamond looked at Kiwe, under her. “Oh, what’re you doing down there?”

Kiwe moaned and let his head fall to the floor. “You seem to have fallen on my back, and it made a very loud crack.”

Diamond glared at Silver Spoon. “Are you happy, now? You almost made me kill Kiwe,” she pointed at the colt, then to Snickers. “How could you let this happen? I thought,” Diamond fell silent as memories of the previous night flooded her mind. Her cheeks tinted pinker, so she turned to the side table to get her tiara. “I’m going to pee and get ready, if you wish to join me, Silver Spoon, you may.”

Diamond walked from the room with her head held high, her tiara in her mouth, and a pointed interest in the window and wall as she passed them, since they weren’t Snickers.

“Diamond Tiara,” Rarity said, tapping her hoof on the carpet while blocking the bathroom door, “I need a moment of your time, if you wouldn’t mind,” she looked at Silver Spoon, “just a moment alone, darling. Won’t be but a minute, then you’ll be back onto your own schedules as though I was never here.”

Diamond looked back, pleadingly, at Silver Spoon for help, but the grey filly didn’t have anything in her repertoire at the moment. Crying wouldn’t make sense, lying wasn’t going to happen, being a distraction had no set up; Silver apologized with a look, then nodded to Rarity. “I’ll wait here, Miss Rarity.”

Rarity stepped aside and let Diamond into the bathroom, closing the door after herself. “Diamond Tiara,” Rarity said softly, “Twilight Sparkle had a talk with me yesterday, can you imagine what it was about?”

Diamond, standing by the sink, set her tiara on a short table. Without looking back, she nodded. “Yes, I believe so. Now what? Are you gonna tell me to keep away from him? I can’t come here anymore? I’m not allowed to be around him?” Diamond said, her voice trailing off and her head lowering.

“Oh, Diamond… I wouldn’t be so rash in making that kind of decision. I was merely wondering--”

Diamond turned around and fell to her belly, clacking her forehooves together. “Please, I don’t know why, I don’t know what… I don’t know anything about this, but please, don’t make me go away. Please, Miss Rarity,” Diamond’s eyes watered and she shut them, “I can’t be alone again. I can’t be who I was again.

“Without my friends, without Snickers, I’ll be a bully again. I feel it, Miss Rarity,” Diamond said, opening her eyes and making out a white blob through her tears. “The mean is right there, waiting to make my mother happy by being just like her. I can’t pretend anymore, I can’t be mean for mother; it’ll shatter me like glass.”

Rarity lifted Diamond with her magic, just enough to slide her close and into a hug. “Oh, sweet child. What a horrid home life it sounds as though you have. I’ll let you know, right now, that I have no intention of taking you from your friends, or my little prince. I was merely curious as to your intentions; and now I see what they are. You aren’t after anything, are you?” Rarity asked.

Diamond shook her head and hugged Rarity tighter, continuing. “I thought not. I understand your feelings. I won’t get in the way of your friendship, but I’ll have you know,” Rarity said, pulling Diamond from her barrel, “that if you have any intentions beyond, yet another filly enchanted by my little prince, I certainly hope you inform both Snickers and myself.

“I don’t know if I can take any more fillies falling in love with him, at this rate.”

Diamond snortled and covered her mouth. “I’m sorry, that was rude of me. Uhm… Miss Rarity?” Diamond asked.

“Yes, Diamond Tiara?”

Diamond’s hind legs crossed and she whimpered. “I really gotta pee, can you let me down before--”

“Oh, my! Certainly, how thoughtless of me,” Rarity moved Diamond to the toilet and let the filly do her business. “Well, on that note, I’ll let your friend join you.“ Rarity opened the door and Silver Spoon sat with wide eyes, staring at Rarity’s legs. The only sound was the quiet hiss from Diamond as she relieved herself. “Silver Spoon, are you alright?”

Silver Spoon blinked slowly and looked up to Rarity’s muzzle. She stepped back and looked at Diamond Tiara; their eyes met, then Silver Spoon’s expression soured. Silver Spoon turned and went to Sweetie Belle’s room, slamming the door behind her.

Rarity sighed, looking up. “What now?”

The sounds of Silver Spoon shouting got her attention and after a few seconds, the room was quiet. Rarity moved to the door and listened, a small smile touched her lips when she heard Sweetie Belle talking calmly. Silver replied, heatedly. After listening for several seconds, Rarity stepped away from the door, shaking her head.

“I’m too young, and too old, to be dealing with this,” Rarity said to herself.

…

SIlver Spoon bucked the door closed, scaring Sweetie into bumping her head on the shelf above her, nearly knocking a book to the floor. “That bitch! The horrid, lying, tramp of a friend was only hanging around because she’s trying to mess with my stallion!” Silver roared as loud as her voice and lungs would let her.

“Ow, uh, what’re you talking about, Silver Spoon?” Sweetie said, rubbing her head at the base of her horn.

“Diamond Tiara! I heard her, she’s pretending to be nice and begged Rarity to not tell that she was really mean, still! I heard everything through the door. That awful, lying, two faced, needle teat, mare loving… I’m gonna buck her! That’s what I’m gonna do; right in her lying, bully mouth,” Silver fumed and turned to the door.

Sweetie Belle ran to stop Silver Spoon. “W-wait, that doesn’t sound right at all. How can she have pretended to be nice for the last couple weeks? It doesn’t make sense, does it?” Sweetie asked, hoping to bring some sense to Silver Spoon.

Silver Spoon fixed her glasses and looked at Sweetie Belle. “Move out of the way, or I’ll trample you to get to her.”

Sweetie thought for a second and shook her head. Answering calmly, she spoke, “No, I don’t believe it. Diamond’s not the same filly she was before. You can’t make me believe anything else,” she said, standing sideways to block Silver’s path.

“You don’t know her, Sweetie Belle,” Silver said, breaking and starting to whine. “This is how she is; she’ll play the long game. She’ll make friends, play nice, then laugh at you when you’re at your weakest. I was there when she did it, a lot of the time; I know what I’m talking about. I heard her confess to Rarity a minute ago, what else do you need to know?”

Sweetie moved to sit by the door. “I don’t believe that she’s mean anymore. I can’t believe it, because if she’s pretending, then that means you are too.”

Silver stepped back in shock from what she’d just been told. “No, I’m not like that anymore.”

Sweetie motioned to the bathroom, through her door. “And you think she is? Because you heard her confess to my sister? Now, you’re ready to fight her?”

Silver nodded. “I’ll do what I have to.”

“And what example is that setting for Snickers and Kiwe? That it’s okay to fight about our problems like animals? Do you want them fighting over us? What do you think would happen when Kiwe uses magic on Snickers? What will happen when Snickers bucks Kiwe? When will it end between them, because you showed them that fighting is how we solve problems, instead of talking the problem through?”

Silver’s eyes darted side to side as she thought, hurriedly. “There’s something I’ve gotta do, right? How can I keep her from hurting Snickers if she’s just pretending? I can’t prove what she admitted, not with Rarity telling, too. I know she won’t, because adults just let us do what we want, mostly.

“Well, what do you think I should do, then?” Silver asked with a huff.

Sweetie opened her mouth to answer, when there was a knock on the door. Silver’s eyes narrowed and Sweetie trembled. “Silver Spoon, Sweetie Belle, can I come in?” Diamond asked through the door.

Silver Spoon shadow punched the air and held a hoof to her eye, then pointed to the door. Sweetie shook her head and stage whispered, “No.”

“No, I can’t come in?” Diamond asked.

Silver stood up and rocked her head, side to side. Sweetie shook her head and reached for the latch with her forehoof and opened the door. “You can come in, but Silver’s not very happy at the moment.”

“I know, I saw and… kind of heard,” Diamond said and stepped in, completely naked with her hair still messy from sleeping. “Did you hear what I said?”

Silver nickered. “Yeah, and I’m ready to beat some sense into you, you faker.”

Diamond winced. “It’s not like that, Silver Spoon. I don’t… I didn’t think this would happen.”

“What, you thought I’d, we’d, never find out the truth?” Silver spat the words harshly.

Diamond stepped all the way into the room and closed the door, sliding down it to lay on the floor. “I don’t know how to tell you, I just realized it yesterday, myself.”

Silver opened her mouth to shout, but Sweetie Belle moved quickly and held up a hoof with a sharp look that stopped her. Sweetie tapped her ear and pointed to the dejected filly. “What did you realize, Diamond Tiara?” Sweetie asked.

Diamond shrugged and traced a circle in the carpet. “I dunno, just about how much better my life is, since I made you all as my friends. How Snickers beating me up was the best thing that ever happened to me. That if I had to leave you all, I’d turn back into the bully I was. I’d be worse, though, because I wouldn’t have any friends to stop me from going too far.

“I’m scared of the pony I’d be without you all, and, Silver Spoon,” Diamond looked up to see her friend’s confused look, “when I told Rarity all that, I just didn’t want you to find out yet. I know how much Snickers means to you, and he’s the first colt I’ve ever like-liked, but I don’t want him like that…

“I want to be near him, because I’m better with him than I ever was before. He’s strong, and tough, and rough, and a real alpha mare. Er, stallion, colt, whatever.”

Silver Spoon began to play with her braid. “So, you aren’t pretending to be nice to get back at him for beating you up?”

Diamond laughed. “What, that? Puh-lease, him ending my pageant tour this year was great for me. I got to stay in town, make new friends, and finally be happy.”

Silver Spoon giggled and rocked side to side. “So, you didn’t confess that you were pretending to be nice for revenge, to Rarity a couple minutes ago?”

Diamond’s expression fell and she looked at Silver Spoon flatly. “Do you really think I said anything like that?”

Silver Spoon looked away. “Well, it was through the door, you know. I guess, some of the mumbling I heard could have been misunderstood, right?”

Diamond stood up and walked two steps toward Silver Spoon, then slapped her across her muzzle. “You’re lucky I’m not wearing my shoes! How dare you listen to a private conversation? How dare you tell somepony what I talked about. And how dare you think that I’d pretend to be nice to such a great group of friends, just to get back at Snickers!”

Silver Spoon held a hoof to her face and sniffled. She looked at her hoof to make sure she wasn’t bleeding, but there was going to be swelling, for sure. Silver Spoon looked away from Diamond as the pink filly shouted at her. “I’m sorry, Diamond Tiara. Are you going to tell Snickers and Kiwe, and the others what I said?”

Diamond snorted and turned tail to Silver Spoon, giving her attention to Sweetie Belle. “I hope this can stay between us?” she asked.

Sweetie nodded. “Yeah, I won’t even tell my friends about all this. But, you both have to stop this, right now, before it gets any worse. You can’t fight like this; I just finished talking to Silver Spoon about it, so I’m gonna go to the bathroom and I want you two to act like young mares and talk this out. No, more, hitting,” Sweetie glared between the two, “or I’m telling Rarity, and she can talk to you about setting the right example for colts and stallions.”

Diamond rolled her eyes, then nodded. “Sure, I’ll talk with Silver Spoon, and all that. Go get prettier,” she waved Sweetie towards the door, “I’ve gotta act my age, and whatever.”

…

Snickers lay beside Kiwe, looking at the latest issue of FoalFun, sharing a giggle. “What do you think the girls are doing?” Snickers asked, trying to find Wall Flower amidst the funny characters on the page.

“Probably talking about us, or planning the next adventure for our marks.” Kiwe said.

“Wanna come along for the next few?” Snickers asked, looking at the unicorn beside him.

“Sure, I think that would be fun. A new experience, to say the least.”

Snickers’s ear twitched at a sound from outside his room. “I kinda wanna peek on them, to see what girls do when we’re not around.”

Kiwe placed a forehoof on Snickers’s foreleg and looked at him with a smirk. “Don’t; I’m sure it’s very… girly. Nothing that involves us.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Snickers agreed, then snickered. “Look at that mare, she’s got forelegs as big as her barrel, but her hindquarters are super skinny.”

Author's Notes:

So, I have to give props to sonicrainbowtion for making a comment last chapter that inspired me to write something about Diamond Tiara's confused feelings.

I only planned for her to run out of the door and Twilight to have a short chat with her, then it'd blow over and it'd be business as usual. Then this happened.

I had an idea, a general goal; that was shattered at the second paragraph. One comment may have changed an aspect of the whole story, for the better, mind you. There are no bad changes that can't be undone, by talented authors, but remember, all; comments on stories do matter.

Thanks, sonicrainbowtion; even if this doesn't go anywhere, you made a chapter happen that, seriously, got me emotional while writing it, and pre-reading it.

Truths

“Guys, ya won’t believe this!” Apple Bloom cried as she ran into the Clubhouse and skidded to a stop in the center of the room.

Snickers peeked down from the small upstairs access, Sweetie Belle looked up from several cutie mark attempt idea’s she’d been coloring in, and Scootaloo hopped awake from the corner, where she had been taking a nap.

“I’m awake! Let’s go, Rainbow Dash!”

The others ignored Scootaloo. “What’s up, <Apple Bloom>? Find a new way to earn our cutie marks?” Snickers asked, “Cuz, I’ve gotta get Kiwe, if we are.”

“No, nothin’ like that. Ah just found out about, and helped mah family start settin’ up fer, the Apple family reunion!”

“Wow, that’s great, Apple Bloom!” Scootaloo cheered and joined Sweetie in hugging her. Snickers set his hind hooves on the main room’s floor, then joined the celebratory hug.

“Yeah, so… what’s a family reunion?” Snickers asked, once the hug ended.

“What?! How can ya not know what a--” Apple Bloom noticed Scootaloo making a motion to stop talking, that Snickers noticed.

“Well, anyway, Ah’d be mighty proud ta have ya help me out; bein’ my herd sisters and alpha, and all,” Apple Bloom said as she scratched the floor lightly.

The others looked between one another, then each spoke up.

“I’m sorry, Apple Bloom, but my parents are coming back and I’m gonna introduce Snickers to them, finally,” said Sweetie Belle.

Snickers shook his head and stood beside his aunt. “I’m sorry, darling, I have to meet my grandparents. It’s been over a month and I have yet to see more of them than a photo. It seems as though Mom has sent them some letters and photos, letting them know of our situation. I can’t miss a moment with them, or Mom will look foolish.”

Snickers blushed when he finished speaking, and Sweetie Belle giggled, “My nephew’s been talking a little more like Rarity over the past few days.”

Scootaloo moved to Snickers’s other side and teasingly nuzzled him, giggling when he blushed brighter. “Ever since he had the sleepover where Diamond fell onto Kiwe, they’ve all been acting weird. But, I can’t help you out, either. I’m sorry, <Apple Card>, I’ve gotta go out of town with my aunts.

“We’re going to some kind of expo; something about quilting… Aunt Holiday’s going because Aunt Lofty’s going, so I’m going because they want me to come along. I asked to stay with Sweetie, but she’s not staying with Rarity, and I guess now I know what’s going on with you, so you won’t be able to watch over me,” Scootaloo shook her head. “Not that that’s a problem,” she insisted, “I was actually thinking hanging out with them would be a good thing, not that I don’t love you girls, and guy.”

Scootaloo laughed nervously when she looked between her friends.

Apple Bloom waved her friend’s concerns away. “Don’t worry, y’all. Ah know what it means ta be busy. Ah know I’ll be fine handlin’ this with mah sister, so y’all go have a good time. As fer now, though; what’re we doin’ ta get our marks today?”

Snickers reared and clapped his forehooves together. “It’s my turn, so I choose…”

…

Scootaloo groaned and fell onto her back, groaning louder in boredom. “Why did we agree to do this?” she whined.

Sweetie Belle, standing outside the small drawn circle, hushed her, “It’s my turn, don’t break my concentration.”

Sweetie lined up her shot with the marble in the frog of her left hoof to aim, and with a flick of her right hoof, the marble soared through the air and into several other marbles, sending four of them from the ring.

“Yes!” Apple Bloom shouted with Sweetie Belle as Snickers looked at the marbles that had been knocked out.

Snickers hopped in place. “That was great, Sweetie Belle! Kiwe, wasn’t that a great smash?”

Kiwe nodded and took the large marble into his right forehoof, lined up a shot, and flicked it. Striking with expert precision, the rest of the marbles rolled from the circle; like a pool player sinking every ball in a single move. “Ah, I seem to have had a lucky strike. Best five out of seven?”

“Even being smug, he’s humble,” Sweetie huffed and looked away from him. “Whatever, did it work?” She asked, looking at her flank

She joined the others with a groan, “No, another bust.”

Snickers collected the marbles. Kiwe piled them into a sun-yellow bag with a drawstring, then Apple Bloom took it and slid it into her saddlebags. “Alright, y’all… what now?”

Riding her scooter, Scootaloo, circled her friends, intentionally kicking up dust in her wake. Her friends, who were coughing and waving forehooves in front of their muzzles tried to talk, but Snickers was the first to speak. “Stop it… Scootaloo!” Snickers shouted between coughs.

Scootaloo skidded to a stop, grinning. “Let’s have a race! First one to Sugarcube Corner gets to pick what the last pony gets!”

“No,” they all said in unison.

Scootaloo crossed her forelegs with a pout. “Aww, you never do what I wanna do. How about swimming?! We haven’t used the Pony Launcher in a while.”

Kiwe spoke up, “It is under repair. It seems something is wrong with it, something to do with the air. A pony has a need to breathe, and they can not while on that thing.”

Sweetie’s tail visibly swayed far more than it should have and Kiwe averted his eyes. Being close to Sweetie Belle, the brown colt began to blush and he inhaled deeply.

Sweetie Belle, wearing a sly look, stared at Kiwe. “You know, Kiwe; I’m almost seven. That means,” she moved closer to the colt, walking around him and letting him smell her tail.

Nickering, Kiwe followed Sweetie Belle with his head as she walked around him once. “Yes, Miss Belle, so I have heard you tell, again and again; without a seeming end.”

Sweetie giggled, sweetly. “You know what? My birthday is a couple weeks after Spring’s mare season. Maybe you could find some time to come back into town and have a long, deep, fulfilling talk with me about… oh, whatever comes up?”

Kiwe inhaled deeply and then exhaled, loudly. “No, Sweetie Belle, my heart beats for another. You are sweet and kind, but you must unwind. You want me far too much, and my brother, Snickers, has helped with his expert touch.”

The attention was on Snickers, who shook his head and stepped back. “Woah, I’m not gay! Well, I’m bisexual, but I wouldn’t--”

Kiwe held a hoof up, silencing Snickers. “What I meant to say, is that while you want me to have have sex, I would rather you be happy with a stallion that loves you as much as you love him.”

Sweetie Belle’s eyes watered and she ran from them. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo gave Kiwe a scowl, then chased after their friend. Kiwe looked at Snickers. “Have I made a mistake?”

Snickers shook his head while staying silent. He watched the fillies running and quietly spoke, “Fuck.”

…

Rarity walked up to Snickers, who was reading in the boutique’s lounge, as they didn’t have a living room or den. “Snickers, I have to wash Laxxie, she’s beginning to reek of nature in ways that aren’t conducive to a successful business.”

“Yeah, okay. This’s a good book.” Snickers answered, dismissively.

Rarity whistled a short note. Laxxie hopped to her wooden paws and followed Rarity from the room. Snickers turned a page, then reached to his side to pet Laxxie. He sat up quickly and looked around the room in a panic. “No… no, no, no!”

Snickers ran to a window, looking out to see life in the town like normal. Ponies talking, shopping, working; the sight didn’t calm him down.

Snickers ran across the room, tripping over the tea table, spilling the cups and shattering the tea pot as he leapt onto the couch, knocking it over. The cushions landed on him, casting darkness around him, and he screamed. Panicked, fearful, desperate screams that broke through his rational mind and nearly pushed him to instincts he didn’t know he had.

Rarity’s magic enveloped the couch and threw it off Snickers, out of the front window and into her yard. “Snickers?!”

Rarity was bowled over when Snickers outright tackled her, making her fall over and choke with a gagging noise. Quickly, Rarity used her magic to force Snickers’s forelegs from her neck so she could breathe. “Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy…” Snickers repeated and went from shouts to whispers of the same word.

Rarity held him as she got to a seated position and looked at the room, resisting the urge and desire to freak out on her own at what she’d done to her window and couch. Laxxie, wet and slightly swollen with stored water, leapt in through the broken window and slipped to a stop past Snickers, jumping back and siding with her alpha.

Laxxie nuzzled Snickers and whimpered sadly, looking to Rarity for any help.

“My little prince, what happened? Why are you so terrified?” Rarity asked softly and kindly.

“...mommy, mommy. I was alone,” he whispered. “Not again, the monsters will get me if I’m alone. I can’t let the monsters get me, mommy. I need a fire, and a spear, and a knife to be safe; it’s the only way to be safe.”

Rarity shook her head, imagining for a second as Snickers walked down the stairs sporting a spear across his back, a knife hidden under his foreleg sleeves, and a flint and steel necklace. She thought of a color change to his outfit, then pushed the thought aside and hugged Snickers tighter.

Alpha, what is wrong? Laxxie asked through their link. She waited several seconds before she got a short answer from Snickers.

I was alone, where the monsters will get me.

Laxxie’s branching ears fell back and her head lowered at the knowledge that she left her alpha alone and he was scared, in mortal danger, and unable to defend himself. She was swelling with water while he was alone, and she felt terrible for allowing her charge, her pack leader, to become so scared.

Laxxie’s fangs snapped into position and she growled at herself, her failure, and mostly at the monsters that had scared Snickers.

Rarity watched with growing fear as Laxxie growled and looked around the room, sniffing the area for some reason. After several seconds, Laxxie returned to Snickers’s side. Alpha, the area is safe. The den is without dangers, and I will stay vigilant.

That was when Rainbow Dash flew into the room. “What the hay happened in here?! Snickers, are you alright? Woah,” Rainbow Dash shouted as she flew higher to stay away from the growling wolf in their midst.

“It’s alright, Rainbow Dash. Laxxie, Rainbow’s a friend; stop it,” Rarity said sternly. Laxxie relaxed and returned to Snickers’s side, watching Rainbow warily.

“Look, there’s a couch halfway out of your shop with broken glass everywhere. I could hear Snickers screaming from my cloud and came as fast as I could. Now, can anypony tell me what happened?”

Rarity nodded. “He was left alone and was scared of being attacked. I think he still feels terrified of that wretched forest, and how he had to survive the nights must have been simply ghastly for him. Four nights in that place, three of them alone without anypony, or wolf. Why, I’ve heard of ponies going somewhat crazed after a day alone… my poor little prince. I had no idea.”

Snickers squeezed Rarity, then let her go and moved to stand under her. “Mommy, I didn’t know I was scared of bein’ alone, too. It just... happened. I’m sorry I was such a bother to you, and made you break your home. I’ll go to my room until you’re ready to punish me.”

Rarity closed her forelegs around his head and looked down at him sternly. “You are not in trouble for this, young stallion. You are not at fault for the window, that was entirely me. As for the mess in here; let’s chalk it up to redecorating. I’ve been meaning to change the colors to match the season, after all. You were just unintentionally helping me.”

Snickers pulled his head free and stepped from under Rarity. “No, Mom. I went too far and made a huge mess of things.”

Rainbow hovered over Snickers. “Hey, listen here, dude. You have no reason to feel bad about any of this. Autophobia is a serious mental disorder that can affect you for the rest of your life, Snickers.” Rainbow relaxed and landed, moving to stand over him in support. Snickers accepted the position and stood under Rainbow, for the feeling of safety. “Now that we know, we can help you become better. I’ll tell you what, Rarity can take you to Sugarcube Corner to get you some chocolate. Meanwhile, I’ll get some ponies to help fix this up.

“Hey, who can help me get this place fixed up?” Rainbow called out of the window to the various ponies that were looking in to see what had happened.

Several forelegs rose, so Rainbow moved to Rarity’s side and let Snickers move from under her to his mother. Rainbow felt her heart warm when Snickers nuzzled the back of Rarity’s leg.

“Thank you so much for this, Rainbow Dash. I’ll be sure to repay, somehow,” said Rarity.

Rainbow shook her head. “Nah, I don’t want, or need, any of your frou-frou stuff.”

Rarity bit back a response, the reminder of the colt under her and the quiet whispering he was making was enough to stay her tongue. “Very well, Rainbow Dash, but we’ll have a talk about that ‘frou-frou stuff’, as you call it, when I get the chance. Come along, Snickers,” Rarity said, using her magic to pick him up and move him so he was sitting on her back.

The move startled Snickers into looking around the room with a rational mind. “Oh, no. I did that much? I’m so sorry, mommy.”

Snickers started sniffling, but was kindly hushed by his mother. “Hush, my little prince, let’s go and let these nice ponies help clean up this mess while we relax and take your mind off this matter. Would you like that?”

Snickers nodded. “C-can Laxxie come with us?”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, darling,” Rarity said cheerfully, turning to leave with the timberwolf eagerly following; her glowing eyes looking for any creatures that could bring harm to her alpha was her only concern.

…

Pinkie set two milkshakes on the table, one in front of Rarity, the other in front of Laxxie. A fruit smoothie was set in front of Snickers, and nudged several times by Pinkie until Snickers looked at it and pulled it to him with his forehooves.

Laxxie took a bite of her ‘shake’, which was nutrient rich soil held together with ice and hope. She chomped it down into her body and took a second bite, then stopped and whimpered. She fell to her side and broke into sticks, scaring most of the adults in the room while the foals just watched.

“Laxxie?!” Pinkie cried. “Oh, no… not again,” she said desperately as she started to try to fix the sticks into Laxxie’s form. “No, please, no,” Pinkie started crying and scooped the sticks to her body as the ponies in the room watched, unsure of what was happening.

“Um, Pinkie?” Rarity said softly. “You do know she does that every time she has ice cream, right? It’s how she handles ice cream mouth, since she doesn’t make any body heat of her own.”

Pinkie sniffled and looked at Rarity with eyes that struck the mare to her core. “H-he’s not dead?”

Snickers shook his head. “No way, she’s like me; a fighter. Give her a few more seconds, and her legs back, and you’ll see.”

Pinkie let the parts she held go and watched as they rolled back to the timberwolf. She reformed and shook her body back into place.

“There, see? No need to worry, Pinkie Pie,” Rarity said.

Snickers blinked and sat taller to reach the straw in his smoothie. “Pinkie, that went dark really fast. Is there anything you’d like to talk about?”

Pinkie hopped up and giggled as though nothing had happened. “I was just having a moment. They happen; right, everypony?” She asked the room, to which many heads hesitantly nodded. “Okay; I’m off to do some more baking, see you laters, gators. Gummy, how’d you get on my mane?” Pinkie turned and, where he wasn’t five seconds before, Gummy was indeed biting on Pinkie’s mane as she pronked away.

Snickers and Rarity shared an ‘it’s Pinkie’ look, then went back to their drinks.

“Snickers, would you like to talk about what happened earlier?”

Snickers shook his head. “No, Mom. It was just a freak out. I guess I haven’t been alone for a couple weeks, so this is how I had to find out I’m… what did Rainbow call it? Auto-alone-liness?”

Rarity tittered at his trying to say the word. “I haven’t a clue. Psychology isn’t my forte. As t’were, had I a choice in the matter, I’d put off all my work and tasks to devote my entire being upon you and helping you through this bump in your life. I will, however,” she stopped to eat a spoonful of her shake, “do all I can to make certain you know that our home is a safe place, and to let you know that you’re never alone.”

Laxxie barked in agreement. Even though she didn’t understand everything said, she could feel the resolve in Snickers growing into confidence. Alpha’s mother is a very good alpha, she must have a large pack somewhere that can take care of themselves. I wonder if I’ll ever meet them. I’ll ask Alpha Snickers, maybe Beta Sweet Bell can come, too. She’s fun, for a pony.”

Snickers was talking about what he’d remembered during his panic when Laxxie’s message crossed his mind. Rarity noticed Snickers’ attention going to his pet. “Snickers, is everything alright? Do you feel your connection with Laxxie again?”

Snickers looked at Rarity. “When are we meeting my grandparents? Laxxie just reminded me.”

Rarity looked out of the shop’s window and hummed. “I was going to take you this afternoon, but with the damage to my shop and my concerns about your wellbeing--”

Snickers interjected himself. “No, mommy, I wanna go. I simply dread not meeting them at this rate. Sweetie Belle has spoken of them so little, Mother, that part of me is more curious to meet them than an apple to learn what cider is.”

Rarity smiled and flicked her ear. “Very well. Finish your smoothie, darling, so we can go to the toy store.”

Snickers smirked. “What, Mister Ed isn’t enough?” His smirk turned to a grin when she started to blush.

“I’ll have you know, young stallion, that, thanks to my friends, I haven’t spent time with my friend for two days. In fact, since last month’s intervention, my time with him has decreased dramatically. Only when I’m truly stressed or in the mood, and thanks to having foals under my hooves at all hours, those urges are thankfully-- what am I doing, talking to you about this?

“Perhaps you’d like a doll, or maybe some… comic books?” Rarity cringed, trying to keep the topic clean. Snickers looked away from Rarity, slurping his smoothie. “Is there something else you’d like?”

Snickers’s ears twitched before he looked at Rarity, coconut banana smoothie on his lips. “Mom, can I get,” he looked around quickly, “a doll? Not, like, a girl doll,” he said in a hushed whisper to keep it between them, “but… well, in the basement there was this dollie I found…”

Rarity gasped and covered her mouth. “You mean Aeries? My doll from when I was a filly?”

Snickers’s mouth fell open and he stared at Rarity, unblinking.

“Snickers, are you feeling well?” Rarity asked.

“W-wait, you named your doll, what?” Snickers asked, sliding his smoothie aside to look at her with wonder in his eyes.

“Um, Aeries? Is that a problem?” Rarity asked while scratching her mane, carefully.

Snickers slowly smiled. “That’s what I called her, mom. When I was in the basement and found her, I had a feeling that I’d like to call her that; but it’s the same name you gave her. Isn’t that crazy?”

Rarity and Snickers shared a smile, then Rarity spoke quietly, “I was going to give her to you as a gift, once I’d cleaned her up. I guess I now know why she had muck and dirt across her body,” she gave Snickers a pointed look, “but she’ll be cleaned up soon enough. Unless you really want a new doll now, I can take you to get one.”

Snickers shook his head. “No, no. That’s okay, I can wait for a doll, for Aeries,” he giggled, “what are the odds?”

Rarity ate from her smoothie again. “Very slim, if I had to wager a guess. Mmm, nom, this is heavenly. I must find out what kind this is for my stockpile. Pinkie, darling?”

Knowing Rarity was about to start talking, and it didn’t involve him, he tipped his drink up and gulped it all down with a cold exhale of air afterwards. He hopped to the floor and, with Laxxie beside him, left the bakery to do something. His mind raced. The idea of helping Twilight with something electronic made him excited.

Sure, he’d had to start at the lowest, most basic, and annoyingly over simplistic skills and techniques he could think of, so as to not overwhelm her pony mind with the technology he knew of. But, they had made some advancements, and his ‘teach by thinking’ method worked wonders with Twilight.

All he had to do was propose an idea, how it could be effective, and prove it through math; then she’d take it from there.

With a bit of prancing to his gait, he made his way to the library.

…

The door was locked, the sign was turned to announce that the library was closed, but the windows were open. Snickers could hear voices inside and, feeling a little naughty, he moved to a low window by a bush, crouched down to be hidden, and listened to the apparent mares inside talking.

“...ing. You agree with me, right, Fluttershy?”

“Um, yes. Or, no… do I have to be a part of this?” Fluttershy’s timid voice spoke.

“Hey, what about us? We’re trying to help, but it’s not getting easier like you said it would, Rainbow Dash.”

Snickers was lying down, but he sat up at the sound of Scootaloo’s voice.

“He’s supposed to be a normal colt by now, you said. He’s not normal at all, is he?” Scootaloo said, sternly.

“Woah, sport. I think you’re getting ahead of yourself. All I said is that Snickers is special and he needs friends to help him fit in. You’ve been treating him like a normal colt, right?” Rainbow’s voice said.

“Yeah, and I think he’s doing really good. At least, until Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon came in and messed it all up.” Scootlaoo stated with disdain.

“What do you mean? Aren’t they friends, now?” Twilight asked.

Sweetie spoke up next, surprising Snickers and leading him to believe the others were there, too. All my friends could be plotting against me. Snickers thought.

“It’s not that bad, Scootaloo. They stopped being bullies and are nice now, and they’re really doing what they can to be better themselves.”

“Well, Ah still think we should tell ‘em,” Apple Bloom said, “they outta know about Snickers and his past. His real past.”

Snickers felt his heart land in his stomach hearing that. What does she mean? Snickers asked himself, the feeling of sadness was weighing heavily on him.

“Ah dunno about that, sugarcube. If they’re doin’ fine on their own, Ah say let them be. Ah haven’t seen anythin’ goin’ wrong with them around. Not since ya told me about Diamond makin’ nice with ya, anyway.”

Applejack, too? Snickers wondered who wasn’t in on this conversation with them.

“Well, darlings, I feel as though he’s made quite the improvement. Why, as we speak, our friend is distracting him with sweets so we can talk, even a planned outing to the toy store after that whole event at the boutique. Why, if I hadn’t been able to swap out, I’d be there and unable to defend my little prince.”

The last two words echoed in Snickers’s mind, a sense of vertigo struck him with tinnitus for a fun little add on to his confusion and torment. Snickers leaned against the tree and listened; that was all he could do as the world blurred and fell apart around him.

Rarity spoke confidently. “I do not agree with this any more now than I did when Fluttershy offered it as a form of therapy. We cannot play this anymore, and I choose not to lie to my son any further. He is who he says he is, and this is not some abused child creating a fantasy to hide from the troubled life he’s had.”

“Rarity, um, if you don’t mind?” Fluttershy asked quietly, barely audible through the distance. She continued after a second. “I know how you feel, I often feel the same when interacting with my animals. But, there’s a time for denial and this is not one of them.” Fluttershy’s voice began to sound more firm and confident.

“That is a poor, sad, broken colt that you have living with you. And now, on top of the sad life he’s trying to hide from, and start over with us, we find out that he looks and smells exactly like Princess Celestia’s child? Do you have any idea what that must be doing to him right now, in ways that even he doesn’t know?

“We’re not dealing with a normal foster, Rarity. This is a broken colt that’s been brutalized to extremes that break my heart. Just thinking about the medical reports he must have… I’m glad we don’t have access to them, because I don’t feel we could handle them, to be honest. Girls,” there was a second of silence, “I know it’s been hard, but we’re doing a very good job with Snickers.

“He’s been acting like a normal pony for the last couple weeks. He’s made friends with a timberwolf--”

“Which is mega-awesome,” Rainbow and Scootaloo said together. Snickers could hear the sound of them sharing a hoof bump.

“Anyway, I’m just saying that there’s a chance he can still be coaxed to reveal his past and accept it, instead of running away from it. You have something to add, Twilight?”

“Yes.” Seconds passed after Twilight spoke that single word, and Snickers began to wonder if they’d left or had been put under a silence spell. “Okay, I have my evidence here. As you can see, it’s a toy pony, or is it?”

“Oh, can I play with it?!”

“No, Scootaloo. This is a demonstration model that Snickers and I have been working on. Watch this, and no magic will be used.”

Snickers smiled sadly, imagining seeing the toy they’d been designing for weeks, finally in motion.

“Pompom, are you happy? Where is my mouth? How many ponies are in this room? That is Sweetie Belle, that is Applejack; point to Applejack. Wave to Sweetie Belle. Sit down and rest for a moment. Can you please clap for me? No! I said clap!” There was laughter from Rainbow, but the room was silent otherwise, save for Twilight dismissing the pony toy by tossing it from the window, onto Snickers’s flank before it bounced to the ground.

He picked it up with a forehoof and looked at the toy, sized to be held in a foal's mouth, or by an adult, it looked at him with a blank expressionless face. Snickers quietly cried when it held its forelegs open for a hug, which he gave and took. Just large enough to reach across his barrel, Snickers held the toy while listening still.

“-rry about that. The spells aren’t filtered for language yet, but that’s what he and I came up with. Do you think a troubled foal would create that?” Twilight said, in his defence.

There was more silence. “Um, excuse me, Twilight?” Applejack said, “but ya didn’t prove yer case. Ya… kinda made it worse. What with that toy gettin’ frisky like that, and you havin’ ta do almost all the work… well…”

“Well what, Applejack?” Twilight somberly asked.

Rainbow answered, “Are ya sure he didn’t just give you ideas that you made into this toy, so he could act out his past with them? Setting up toys to clop isn’t what a normal foal would do.”

“No, Rainbow Dash; I won’t believe it. I stand with Rarity and say that Snickers isn’t a colt. He may not be a human, like he says, but he’s not a colt. Maybe he’s an adult that found a fountain of youth? Maybe--”

“We don’t fix maybe’s, Twilight,” Rainbow shouted, “we fix problems.”

The words cut through Snickers like a knife, right through his very being as he cried onto the toy. It’s silicone exterior was hydrophobic, by his suggestion; another thing they would use against him, he believed. Regardless, he was thankful Twilight had taken his advice, and that he now knew the truth of what those he was closest to thought of him.

A hand wrapped around Snickers’s muzzle while another pulled him down to the ground in a single move, keeping him stunned and silent. Looking up, Snickers saw a short brown dragon looking down at him, holding a claw to his lips and whispering ‘shh’.

Laxxie stood behind the dragon drooling sap with her hackles up and a fury in her expression. Snickers quickly quieted her, just before she bit the dragon in its neck with intent to kill.

With a beckoning motion, Snickers followed the dragon across the street and down the next block. Plenty of ponies noticed the new dragon, but weren’t worried because it was just like Spike, only colored differently. Laxxie stayed close to Snickers, watching the dragon closely and warily watching the area around, as well.

The dragon walked up the steps to a vacant house and went in, leaving Snickers just outside. Unsure if he should enter, the dragon moved back to the doorway and waved him to follow.

“C’mon, you’re safe with me.”

Snickers, having nothing tying him to his life at the moment, walked in, having put the toy on his back. It held his mane with its forehooves, another feature he’d come up with. “Okay, I’m here. You gonna eat me, or foalnap me? Either way, the world’s better off without me.”

The dragon sighed after leading them to the main room. Snickers sat in a spot the dragon had gestured to. “Are you thirsty? Perhaps a little snack? No, didn’t think so. Look, I know everything seems like it’s pretty rough right now, but if you just--”

“Just what?! I just found out everypony in my life has been lying to me! I’m alone in this world, just like I was when I got here. I shouldn’t have come here in the first place, I should have just died like the rest.” Snickers fell to his side on the wooden floor.

“Well, when the world gets too tough, the weak should leave. Where can you go to get away from all this? It doesn’t sound like you have any family nearby; maybe your mom or dad can pick you up?”

Snickers shook his head and slacked into his spot, then he lifted his head. “Wait, I think I do have a mom that can come help me out. But… I don’t want to make her life any harder than it already is.”

The dragon shrugged. “How hard can it be? I mean, whoever she is, she can sure do better than what you’ve been getting here, right?”

Snickers sat up, the toy holding his mane still. “Yeah, all I have to do is send her a letter and no… one can stop me. She said so! Thanks, I gotta get packed,” Snickers hopped to his hooves and galloped to the door and back into the village. As the dragon watched him go, a green flame danced up his body and a pony stood where the dragon was a second before.

“I hope you find your way, I’ve done all I can for now to help you.”

Planning to Leave

Snickers ran through town with Laxxie following right behind, unsure as to why he was running so fast back to the den, but aware that he wasn’t being hunted by another predator. She was confused, but trusted her alpha with her life, since he gave her life to begin with.

They entered the boutique and Snickers ran to his room, closed the door after Laxxie had entered, and then got some paper and a pen to write a letter. After several minutes, he was done and looked it over with a variety of emotions. “There, a letter fit for a princess.” Snickers chuckled at his joke and rolled the letter before slipping it under his pillow.

Laying on his bed with Laxxie climbing and lying next to him, Snickers sighed; thinking of what the future held for him. The sound of the front door closing,, made him think of Rarity standing beside Twilight in the library, the others by the door, he imagined, proclaiming his craziness.

“Fix me, because I’m a mistake?” Snickers puffed some air from his muzzle. “Her life’s a mistake, maybe I should make her a necklace from back home. One I was gonna make my first couple days here, with her name on it, so she’ll put it on for sure. Then, well,” he frowned and looked at Laxxie, “no, I won’t have a slave, or a pet. Maybe I can leash her and have her be led around by Applejack? Wearing a bomb collar, and only she’ll know what it is.”

Snickers snickered at the thought, then giggled until he laughed as the mental image grew to Rainbow Dash wearing full tack, saddle, and was being laughed at by the whole town while she was led down main street.

There were two soft knocks on his door and his laugh quieted, but he couldn’t stop. “Who is it?”

“It’s… your mother, Rarity. May I come in, there’s something I must tell you, and talk about.”

“And me, Twilight Sparkle, too. If it’s okay, can I come in, too?”

Snickers stopped laughing and rolled to his belly, staying silent for several seconds. “Come in.”

The handle glowed blue and opened slowly, then Rarity walked in, followed by Twilight; neither rushed, neither smiled, and they both had trouble meeting his eyes when they looked at him. Standing side by side, Twilight took a half pace back to let Rarity start.

Rarity looked back at Twilight and frowned while Twilight smiled sheepishly. “Snickers, darling, I must be honest with you. I’ve been a part of something I’ve found dishonest, distasteful, and disrespectful to you; and I’m here to come clean, as they say.”

Rarity nervously flicked her mane and looked askance back to Twilight. Twilight cleared her throat and stepped beside Rarity. “Yeah, me, too.”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “We’ve been lying to you, in a way. You see, my little prince, we were informed by Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy that… well, you see… I, we…”

“Snickers,” Twilight spoke up, “we were told to play into your fantasy of being something else, and it was wrong of us to do it and we believe you are who you say you are; and we hope that you’ll find it in your heart to forgive us some day.”

Rarity glared at Twilight. “Quite blunt, are you, my dear? Snickers, I am so sorry for what I’ve done. The whole time, I’ve felt so terrible, until finally I stopped pretending and started listening to you.”

“Secrets and lies, how can I believe anything you say to me?” Snickers looked at Rarity, then Twilight. “How can I believe anything anypony has said to me since I got here has been true? I’ll be honest, to show you what it’s like; I heard everything you talked about. I was outside the library, and that’s how I got Pom Pom.” Snickers pointed to a spot behind the mares.

Twilight gasped and grabbed the toy in her magic, scanning it and looking it over. “Oh, thank Celestia this is alright. If this had broken… oh, wait,” Twilight said. With a flash of magic, the toy was gone from the room. “So, you knew why we were here, then?”

Snickers nodded. “Yeah, and I’m glad I heard it all. You got a little respect from me for standing up for me. But, you still lied to me. You don’t believe me at all, do you?! You just want some mindless drone in your pony collective? Maybe you’re only interested in fucking me, to help grow your population! Whatever the reason, I know the truth, and I hate you for everything you’ve done to me!”

“My little pri--”

“Shut up.” Snickers cried out. Both mares flinched. “I don’t care what you have to say, just leave me alone.” Snickers looked away from them and out the window. He noticed pegasi flying and pushing clouds, more to distract himself from the mares than anything else.

Rarity moved toward him, stopping when Snickers turned to look at her with watery eyes and a sneer that wasn’t common on a pony. “No, Rarity. Leave me alone.”

Rarity gasped, placing a forehoof to her chest over her aching heart. She whimpered and started crying as she ran from the room. Twilight lowered her head and left the room, closing the door behind her. Snickers lay his head between his forelegs and started to cry. Laxxie nuzzled Snickers and lay beside him, providing comfort as best she could.

Laxxie spoke between their link, once Snickers had stopped crying. Alpha, I feel your pain, but the pack must stay as one. If one leaves, we are all saddened for it, I do not like to feel you sad, Alpha. Please, do not let your mother leave the pack. Please, S-snick-ers, do not leave the pack.

Snickers opened his eyes and looked at Laxxie, then moved his head forward to touch his forehead to hers. “I will see what I can do, but I promise nothing; because I don’t know if they’re worth it.”

Alpha, the pack is always worth everything. A hundred prey can offer themselves to us, but to save the life of your mother, I would starve until I were nothing but twigs.

Snickers giggled and lay his head down, Laxxie lying with her head besides his. “You’re making a great argument, and you’re not even really trying, are you? Do you even understand what’s happening?”

Yes, my life before you birthed me, I was a spirit of the forest. We had strife, not unlike you prey do. Our bond, yours and mine, is nearly complete, Alpha. I would like the pack to be present when it happens.

“What? You mean this is gonna get more crazy? How? Am I gonna turn into a wolf, too? A timber-pony?” Laxxie sent a feeling of unhappiness to Snickers. “Okay, sorry for teasing. What’s gonna happen?”

I do not know, but I feel it will be important.

---

Kiwe looked into Snickers’s room with a kind smile. “Hello, brother. You seem better since this morning; or should I leave with a warning?”

Snickers snorted hot air from his nostrils. “Damn, colt; you just don’t know what you’ve missed today.”

Kiwe entered the room and climbed on the bed, sitting and looking at Snickers. “Would you like to talk about it?”

Snickers shrugged and tapped a rhythm on his bed. He felt a welling of magic in himself and shook it off with a shudder. “No! No singing, no songs,” he shouted. “Oh, not you, Kiwe. I felt that music magic starting, so I stopped it. Well, I guess I’ll fill you in on the details…”

Snickers spent several minutes explaining his day before Kiwe had heard it all; now the unicorn zony had a frown on his face and was looking at the bed, deep in thought. “It seems, your options are limited in their scope; either you stay and deal, or say ‘nope’.”

Snickers snerked. “Yeah, that’s why I wrote this,” Snickers lifted his pillow and showed the scroll to Kiwe, dropping the pillow before the scroll could be moved. “That’s a letter to Princess Celestia, asking her to look over me for a while until I figure out who I can trust and where I should go.”

Kiwe nodded. “I shall go pack and ready myself for when you leave. I know you may be conflicted, but I am your brother in heart, and while you’ve been through much; I won’t let you go through this alone. My potions, skills, or abilities may be of help, too.”

Snickers nodded. “Yeah, I’m cool if you come. Er, come along… <shit, even after> all this time, I <still remember> your cock in my mouth, and I miss it.”

Kiwe’s eyes widened and Snickers cocked his head to the side, then his eyes widened and he covered his mouth. “<Oh, fuck me>… I said that in Ponish, didn’t I?”

Kiwe blushed. Snickers blushed. Kiwe nodded in the affirmative, then galloped from the room. Snickers buried his head under the pillow, ignoring the paper pressing against his snout and reminding him, inappropriately, of Kiwe, again.

…

Snickers heard fillies giggling and laughing; he wasn’t in the mood. With a shared moment through thought, Laxxie hopped to the floor and took her most aggressive posture and appearance. Once the door handle turned and opened, the three fillies he’d felt closest to shrieked at seeing the timberwolf.

Laxxie’s eyes were bright yellow with none of Snickers’s green in them. Her vines moved on their own like barbed tentacles, her body was without its mossy covering, and her body was blocky wood, as though Laxxie had just crawled from the forest, feral and hungry. The thing that set the fillies running in terror was the stench on Laxxie’s breath when she barked, viciously, at them.

Snickers listened as Scootaloo shouted as she ran down the stairs. “Rainbow Dash, help! Wild timberwolf, it’s gonna eat us, don’t let it get you, Silver Spoon!”

“Diamond Tiara, it’s real, run for your lives!” Sweetie Belle screamed.

Snickers chuckled and Laxxie relaxed, reverting to her normal appearance in a few seconds. Diamond Tiara peeked into Snickers’s room carefully. “<Hey, friend gay>, um… look, I gotta ask, is Laxxie going feral?”

Snickers shook his head. “No, I just had him scare those…” he grit his teeth, trying to find a word fitting them, “...<lying fucking pigs>!”

Diamond leaned back and shared a short whisper with Silver Spoon, then they both stepped into the room. “So, what’s that word mean?” Diamond asked. “I might wanna know it.”
Diamond’s ears flicked and she grinned. “Is it a new way to say…” Diamond moved closer and glanced at the door, which Silver Spoon moved to guard, “...fuck?

“Maybe a reference to vaginas, or your gross, floppy boy parts? Is it human parts? What do those look like?” Diamond rambled her questions off while Snickers tried to parse them.

Desperate for a change in topic, Snickers asked, “Did you hear what’s been going on today?”

Diamond nodded and Silver Spoon ran to Snickers’s bed, looking up at him with worry. “You’re, like, not hurt from that glass, are you? I totally freaked out when I heard that Rarity threw a chair at you, and it missed, and it landed in the yard, and it almost killed Opal, and, like, I ran here as fast as I could, but you weren’t here!”

Snickers shook his head and looked at Diamond, who nodded and asked, “Did Rarity really try to throw a chair at you? Because when I came by, the ponies said it was a couch.”

“So, that’s all you know about today?” Snickers asked again. Both fillies nodded. “Great, I’ll tell you about it then; it’s a doozy of a day already. Listen close, because I don’t wanna tell this story again for a while.”

---

“So, what do you have to say?” Snickers asked the two fillies sitting slouched in front of him. Diamond and Silver’s ears directed themselves to him, but other than that unconscious action, neither said anything. Diamond looked at Silver, who raised her head to look at Diamond.

Both fillies looked to Snickers, then started sobbing.

“Don’t leave us,” Diamond said.

“I don’t know what’ll happen to you if you leave, but I wanna be there,” Silver said. Both fillies fell onto the bed hard enough to make Laxxie and Snickers bounce to standing.

“Please, take us with you,” both fillies chorused in unison.

Snickers smirked. “Perfect harmony… I know a spirit that would be pleased.”

“What?” Diamond asked as she crawled to his right foreleg, the same as Silver was reaching his left. “Don’t leave us, you’re the best thing to happen to us. This is because of those bitches and plotting against you, isn’t it? I’ll have Daddy make them pay double at Barnyard Bargins, I’ll have them pay triple property taxes, if it’ll help?!”

Silver stammered for a moment, then spoke, haltingly, “Like, I can’t even… it’s just, like… ya know?!”

Snickers stepped back from the fillies as they started to pull on his forelegs. “No, Silver; I don’t. And, I’m sorry, but I can’t take you with me. I already have Kiwe added to the letter, and you both have lives to live here, in Ponyville. I’m just moving to Canterlot for a little while, you can visit, I promise.

“I just need time to think about all this… all these lies and who I can trust...”

“You can trust me. I’ve been the most honest out of all of the ponies you’ve known.” Silver stated, snuffling and looking up, piteously, to Snickers. “Like, I’ll have Mommy and Daddy raise the price on the gems Rarity buys, and lower them to rock bottom when she has to sell them. That’ll be more than anything Diamond Tiara can offer, because she’s fibbing!”

Diamond Tiara gasped, hurt at Silver’s accusation. “No! I haven’t lied to you, or even kept a secret from you since I met you. You’re like me; totally honest,” Diamond Tiara justified her words with one final statement. “You’re the first boy I’ve ever like-liked. See, now there’s nothing I’ve kept from you.”

Snickers groaned. “Not you, too. Seriously, what is it about me that makes you all crazy over me?”

“I like how honest you are,” Diamond stated. “And, you have great flanks, even if they are blank.

Silver smiled. “I like how you’re a naughty colt, and I wanna try to make you only naughty for me.”

“Psh, you still only want him for his body. I want him because he’s true to himself; he doesn’t conform to what everypony wants him to be. He’s a mare of his own. Er, colt… but you get what I mean! He can’t be controlled, he can’t be held back; he’s a mustang; wild and free!”

“Girls!” Snickers shouted over the growing heat between the fillies. “Before you start fighting over me, remember that I’m barely six. I have a year before I’m ready to produce sperm for your basic needs, okay? Plus, I’m not in a rush to find the right girl for me. If it happens, great. If not, I’ll wait until it does.

“Just, cool your clits and shove a cold ice cube in your holes to keep yourselves from getting the wrong thoughts about me.” Snickers waved a forehoof at their rears and looked away in faux disgust.

Silver stuck out her tongue. “Ugh, you’re so, like, nasty. I wouldn’t ever shove ice back there.”

Diamond winked at Snickers. “I’ll do it, then eat it while you watch.”

Snickers fake gagged. “That is gross, Diamond Tiara.” And, something I might wanna see, someday. Woah, down, boy. Stay inside, where you belong.

“A-ha,” Diamond pointed at Snickers, “I see it, he’s blushing! He wants to watch me slurp the ice after it's been inside me. You’re gross, and I’d never do it… maybe, but you’d like to be… wait, no; this isn’t the time!” She internally cursed herself at that moment. “I have to let you know, Snickers, that no matter where you go, I’ll be with you, right here,” she said, touching his chest.

Diamond climbed off the bed and walked slowly to the doorway, and left without another word.

Silver Spoon looked at Snickers, then the doorway. “I… I’m sorry, but I have to check on her. She might do something stupid.”

Snickers nodded. “Yeah, I’m gonna get ready to send this letter. If I don’t see you again for a while, remember that I’ll miss you, and you mean a lot to me. Both you and Diamond Tiara.”

Silver sniffled and followed her friend. “I… I will, Snickers. And, I’m sorry for not showing you the love and respect you deserve. I’ll learn to be the perfect mare for when you come back.”

---

Rarity ran into her room, leaving the door open for Twilight to follow. Twilight closed the door and activated the silencing enchantments around the room. “Rarity, I understand what Snickers said was short, but why are you crying?” Twilight asked with real curiosity as to why Rarity had left.

Rarity called a box of tissues to her side and took several to wipe the mascara she knew was running and blow her nose. “Twilight… I,” Rarity paused and squeezed her eyes shut. “I fucked up! He called me Rarity! Did you hear him? He hates me, I’m as bad as I ever was at being a parent… a mother.”

Rarity bawled while Twilight blinked, still confused. “So, you think you’re a bad mother for lying to him? Well, if that’s the case,” Twilight said, climbing onto the bed beside Rarity, “we’re all bad at parenting.”

Twilight leaned to nuzzle Rarity while the mare sobbed. “Twilight, you don’t understand. This morning, for the first time ever, he called me ‘mommy’, I felt like he was my foal. I felt like my little prince was truly in trouble, and even though I didn’t know what to do, I would have fought a bear to keep him safe.

“Now, I’m Rarity, again. The terrible mare that he clearly didn’t want around him. I heard him curse my name - figuratively, darling - and I know <fuck> means fuck,” she said in a hushed whisper, as though somepony could hear her.

“Rarity, you don’t need to whisper; I turned on the silencing enchantments.”

Rarity said up and sniffled. “Oh, did you now?”

Twilight nodded, looking up at Rarity. “Yes, covers the whole room.”

Rarity looked down at Twilight and smiled thankfully. Rarity took in a deep breath, held it, then screamed at the top of her lungs, “FU~...”

…

Several minutes later, Twilight lay on Rarity’s bed laughing harder than she had in weeks. Her legs kicked, her eyes were running tears freely, and her voice was hitching; becoming hoarse from its exertion.

Rarity, having finished her tirade, and having returned herself to her prim, proper, and refined look; flipped her mane and harrumphed. “Seriously, Twilight, it wasn’t that funny.”

Twilight sat up, looked at Rarity, then fell to her side again; kicking and rolling to her back. “Ra-rar-rarity, that… how many… shove what up Luna’s butt?!”

Rarity sniffed and lifted her snout. “Well, I had to vent my frustrations. I’m glad you enjoyed them so much.”

Twilight chortled, then started snorting. Rarity couldn’t help but smile at Twilight’s mood, even if it was at the sake of her own dignity. A giggle escaped her and she was glad Twilight didn’t notice.

Twilight sang a quiet sigh. Rolling to her belly and looking at Rarity, Twilight chuckled a final time; the feeling of endorphins tingled her skin and filled her with a jovial high. “Wow, Rarity. I’ve never even heard of such a long list of swear words in a row. Seventy two, if you’re wondering. I have to ask, where’d you come up with the more creative ones? ‘Fuck me with Luna’s horn. Celestia’s flaming teats’?

“I really liked ‘Celestia and Luna spitroast me over the sun itself’ and ‘clop me with silk made by the hooves of a thousand weavers. Just… what?!” Twilight giggled and chortled again, this time into her hoof, but it ended much sooner since she was coming down from her laughter fit.

Rarity shrugged. “Books, mostly. Some I’ve heard along the way. Others, I’ve come up with to deal with customers I find difficult. The same applies to friends,” she gave Twilight a meaningful look. Twilight rolled her eyes, still smiling.

“Well, all that aside, what will you do to make this right? Can you, do you think?”

Rarity tapped her hoof on the floor in thought. “Well, with enough chocolate, music, and begging, I may be able to have him not spit at my hooves when I walk by. It should only take until The All Mother returns from her journey.”

Twilight shook her head. “That’s silly, Rarity. For one, that All Mother stuff is just nonsense. Second, you’re going to do just fine. He may be upset for a while, but it’ll be okay. Trust me, I have a good feeling about this.”

Rarity moved to the door and disengaged the enchantment. “Yes, well, I hope he knows how much I love him, I think of him as my own son, and I’ll wait as long as it takes to show him how sorry I am for all this.”

Twilight nodded. “Me, too, Rarity. Me, too.”

Rarity opened the door and was startled to see a silver maned brown earth pony colt looking up at her with green eyes, shimmering in the light of her horn. Snickers looked at Rarity and spoke softly, “I’m mad at you, because you hurt my feelings. You lied to me, betrayed my trust, and planned behind my back,” Snickers said with a shaky breath.

Once he composed himself, he continued, “But, after everything we’ve been through. All the times I’ve been scared, hurt, and mean; you’ve always been there… mom.” Snickers stated, practically emotionlessly. Rarity sobbed quietly and leaned down to pick him up, but was stopped when a small hoof struck her chest with enough force to rattle her. “No, you don’t get to hug me yet.

“You’ve earned my respect, you have my love, but you don’t have my trust. Not yet,” Snickers stated, then looked in to see Twilight. “Fuck you; for being a lying, backstabbing, two faced--”

Snickers looked at his muzzle, then to Twilight’s glowing horn. He didn’t glare, he just listened.

Twilight nodded slightly. “Snickers, I know I messed up; but I believe you’re not a pony. You can hate me all you want, you can poop in a book and hide it on a shelf, but please don’t. What I do know, is that your math is beyond what a mare four times your age, with a mark in math, can do.

“Your ideas are already changing Equestria. You talk with me about science like it’s old news, because it is to you. I mean, you told me about resistor technology, and it’s barely out of development! I don’t care if you hate me, but please, don’t deny us your science.”

Twilight released Snickers’s muzzle. Snickers glared at her, but Twilight could swear she saw a small quirk of his lips, then he left them without another word. “I’ll see you tomorrow after school, for our language lessons!” Twilight shouted after the colt, imaging him smiling at her.

Rarity, holding a hoof to her chest, stepped back a half pace and closed the door. “Twilight, darling, dearest?”

Twilight cocked her head to the side. “Yes, Rarity?” She answered, curious as to Rarity’s tone.

“I do believe I may have a cracked rib, might you,” Rarity grimaced, “escort me to the hospital? Discreetly, please?”

Twilight sat up and her horn lit, a light scanned Rarity and Twilight exhaled a sigh of relief. “Nothing’s that damaged, Rarity. He just hit a nerve cluster, what are the odds? And, how are you still standing after that?”

Rarity trembled. “I… have years of training in dec-decorum and posture, darling. However, moving at all is quite difficult. Might you be a dear and lay me on the bed, at the very least?”

Twilight jerked in surprise, not having done that sooner. A careful few seconds later, Rarity was on her bed and, again, sobbing. This time, though, it was from the growing bruise that blemished her pristine, nearly white, coat. “Rarity, would you like a healing spell? I know a short cantrip that does wonders on Spike. I also know of a sigil that can cure nearly any blemish, and a ritual that will prevent a pony from being thrown through walls, as well as prevent damage from slips, trips, or falls.”

“Ugh, none of those, darling. I heard your jab at my one time overreaction. Just, heal the spot, please. This hurts too much to leave as a reminder of my actions; the pain in my heart is more than enough.” Rarity complained through pained tears and a groan, not noticing Twilight stick her tongue out at her.

"You have to appreciate earth pony strength, especially after this, right?" Twilight quipped.

Rarity opened her eyes to look at Twilight. "Are you truly musing over my injury?"

Twilight began healing Rarity. "I'm just stating a fact."

"Yes, well; you can keep those to yourself at the moment. This is far too… oh, that's so much better."

Twilight smiled as the bruise shrank, to a point. “There, that’s all I can do. You’re going to have to finish it tomorrow morning.”

Rarity looked down at her chest and then nodded. “Yes, can’t heal with what I don’t have. A nice meal, or two, and I’ll have recovered enough to finish healing myself. Now, as for Snickers, what should we do? I can’t just let him stew and dwell on all this, but I’m truly at fault for everything happening to him.”

“No, we’re all at fault in this, Rarity. We have to sit down and think about how to make it up to him, to earn his trust back.”

“Oh, darling,” Rarity shook her head, “I’m not sure we even can. What was I thinking, listening to Rainbow Dash of all ponies? Fluttershy, maybe; but even she followed Rainbow Dash’s advice with this foolhardy plan. Now, I’ve lost the respect of my… my son, Twilight.”

Twilight teleported beside Rarity, startling the fashionista briefly. “Let’s make a list, that always helps me.”

Rarity sighed. “Oh, very well. I certainly hope this ends well, and not with more hurt and pain than need be.”

It was then that the clear voice of Rainbow Dash reached their ears, from outside the boutique, in a steady tone that sounded like the midpoint of a song.

Rainbow's Moment

The toilet flushed a few seconds before Snickers left the bathroom with a little more pep in his step. Laxxie was right behind him, pleased to be guarding her Alpha. Feeling him in a better mood was nice, too.

Snickers went down the stairs and looked around the main showroom. “They cleaned up quick, huh, Laxxie?”

Laxxie let loose a ‘burf’ noise in reply.

Snickers decided he was going to find his fellow Crusaders and explain to them what he was planning, and to tell them his personal feelings about their behavior. He opened the door and cringed when the bell dinged, looking back to see if Rarity or Twilight had heard. He quickly stepped out and closed the door once Laxxie was beside him.

“Don’t leave my side, Laxxie. I can’t have two freak outs in the same day, okay, girl?”

Laxxie whined in agreement, and they both turned to see Rainbow Dash talking to Scootaloo, who was pointing at the boutique. “Hey!” Snickers shouted and galloped to the two, ignoring the ponies he startled or bothered to reach them. “You’re a fucking bitch, Rainbow!”

Rainbow landed and loomed over Snickers. “What’d you say to me, chump?”

Snickers looked up at her, ignoring the scene they were making. “You heard me, you flying abortion advertisement. How did you think that lying to me was a good thing? That it’d fix me, because I was a ‘mistake’ for you to work on?”

Rainbow grit her teeth. “I didn’t say mistake, I said ‘problem’!” Rainbow snapped, then regretted it as soon as she noticed the crowd around them; staring, and growing upset at them both. “Look, can we talk about this in private?”

Snickers spat on Rainbow’s forehoof. “Fuck yourself in private, I don’t want to deal with you ever again!” Snickers turned away and started toward a wall of ponies that were watching.

Rainbow flew around to Snickers’s front. “Hey, we’re not done here. Either you walk with me, or I’ll carry you.”

“Pick me up, touch me at all, and I’ll tell these ponies what you told me not to tell anypony. Our ‘little secret’ from that night a few weeks ago…” Snickers let the statement hang in the air. He watched as Rainbow looked at him shocked at what he was saying, then when her shock turned to horror, the crowd started whispering between one another.

“Snickers, you said you’d never bring that up, it’s private.” Rainbow said, practically pleading for Snickers to stay quiet on the topic of her emotional insecurities. She prayed that he’d respect the rules of the group she’d admitted everything to, and wished so badly she had had everypony use a Pinkie Promise, too.

“What? Are you asking me for something, now?” Snickers gestured to the growing crowd. “Why couldn’t you ask me before you got fillies and your friends to lie to me and make me think I was actually fitting in?!” Snickers’ voice rose to a shout as he spoke, ending with him growling quietly. “No, you planned to trick me into being a ‘normal pony’, didn’t you?”

The whispers grew more numerous and Rainbow heard her name several times. “Look, kid, there’s been a lot of miscommunication today. I don’t know where you’re getting this crazy idea that--”

“I’m not crazy! I’m not a mistake, and I’m not a problem that you can fix by lying to me! I trusted you, Rainbow Dash. I believed you when you said you cared about me,” Snickers admitted, facing her and holding back tears. “It was all a lie, though. I only have a couple friends, and they’re not the ones you got in on your plan.”

Rainbow’s feathers started moving as her anxiety started to bother her. “Snickers, you’re not crazy, or a bad kid, or anything, okay?”

Snickers, and several members of the crowd gasped. “I-I’m nothing? Is that how you see me, after all this time?”

“N-no! Snickers, look, this is all just a huge misunderstanding, if we can just sit down and talk it over, we’ll get this all straightened out. You like straight things, right,” Rainbow said suggestively. Her smirk fell when she saw Snickers’s mouth slacken open. “Oh, buck me.”

“You seriously think that making a joke about my penis is okay right now? Or is it about my sexuality; because I’m pretty sure I’m bisexual. I love the …” Snickers paused as he tried to say ‘women’, but couldn’t because the word didn’t exist in Ponish, so he went with the local vernacular, “...mares I’ve had sex with.

“I must have been with a dozen, that I can remember. Loved each one’s warm, wet, sweet smelling pussy as I pounded into it,” he said with a hint of pride. The crowd looked sadly at the colt as he spoke. “But, thanks to one of my real friends, I accidentally got a cock in my mouth and down my throat, like I was a filly in heat at a carrot party.

“And I liked it. And I wanna do it again, too! So, what do you have to say to that, you… awful mare!” The only sound was wind rustling leaves in the trees, and ponies farther away that weren’t privy to the conversation. “Oh, yeah,” Snickers faked a laugh and playfully tapped his temple, “I heard you an hour ago, talking with your friends and my pretend friends at the library.

“At least Twilight and Mommy had the ovaries to mare up and talk to me about it, and how it made them feel. I can look at you right now, Rainbow Dash, and know that you weren’t gonna tell me a thing about it, were you?”

Rainbow moved her jaw, stuck at learning about his homosexual experience still, so Scootaloo spoke in place, “Snickers, we’re sorry! We were doing good, though. You’re so much better now than you were when you first got here, right?”

Snickers whinnied and reared up, landing with a stomp. “I loved you, Scootaloo. I thought you were really my friend, and I was being me, not what you were trying to make me through your lies. I don’t want to see you ever again, or the others. I’m out of your stupid little club. I’ll piss on your cape and set it on fire before I give it back, don’t worry about it.”

Scootaloo sniffled and looked away in shame. “S-snickers, I thought we were friends for real. I wasn’t lying to you, I only didn’t tell you about Rainbow, because it made sense.”

Snickers laughed sarcastically and looked at the ponies around them. It seemed nearly half the town was there now. “What do you think? Is Rainbow Dash right for lying to me, and getting her friends, and these foals to lie with her?” There were several ponies that loudly shouted against Rainbow’s actions, and most of the others agreed with Snickers.

Snickers looked at Rainbow. “Yeah, even the ponies in town agree with you being wrong. What do you have to say now?”

Rainbow gave Snickers a stern look. “Young stallion, you will sit down and listen to me when I talk to you, do you understand me?”

Snickers felt his hind legs buckle; the weight of an adult ordering him was almost enough to make him comply, but he didn’t sit. “Why do you keep belittling me?” Snickers asked. “Why can’t you treat me like an adult?!”

“Because you’re not! You’re a foal, a little pony. Pony. Not some thing in a story that can’t exist, okay? You’re not an adult! You just need to be reminded how good it is to be a foal, then you’ll be able to start sharing your past and getting better.”

Snickers frowned and sneered at Rainbow after her outburst. Rainbow was hovering now, looking at him like an authoritative parent. “I’m not an adult? You believe that? Well, I know a lot about your society, Rainbow; and one thing I learned is that when a pony has a baby, they can be considered an adult.

“The term ‘baby’ is used clearly. Am I right?” Snickers asked with growing confidence.

Rainbow looked around the crowd, knowing the answer but pretending to take the advice of random ponies. “Yeah, somewhere in the back, I bet,” Rainbow stated blandly while waving a forehoof.

Snickers smirked. “Then, because I have one daughter here in Equestria, I claim to be an adult.”

The whole crowd gasped in shock, many with looks of empathic horror while others stomped angrily and voiced their disdain for the parents that would allow a colt so young to father a foal.

“Magic, it has to be.” “Who cares? It’s rape of a minor, is what it is.”
“If they were conscenting foals, they are within their--”
“Shut up!” Several ponies shouted at the lawyer.
“The poor colt, he must be so messed up after all that.” “Put him in the asylum, it’s the best place for him.”
“--said cornmeal? Not without baking powder!”

“Oh, Sweet Celestia; won’t somepony think of the children?!”

Snickers met Rainbow’s eyes as the mare landed, her wings sagged to the ground as her mouth hung open. Her eyes were as wide as they could be, and Snickers watched as tears began to build in Rainbow’s eyes.

“Snickers,” Rainbow whispered. “I had no idea… I’m, I’m so sorry. Everything I’ve done is wrong.”

Snickers sighed. “Finally, the last car on the train reaches the station.”

“I was wrong,” Rainbow went on, “because you didn’t deserve to be lied to, I should have made sure to hug you with every other pony until you came to terms with your sucky parents and first years.”

Snickers groaned in frustration.

Rainbow spoke with a slight shake to her voice, “Who… do you know who the mother is? Do you know if your foal knows about you?”

Snickers snickered, then really laughed for several seconds. Laxxie moved to his side and let him lean against her. “You’re the dumbest mare in Equestria; comes from being so fast, I bet. Did you ever wonder how I got Laxxie, here?”

Rainbow looked between the timberwolf and Snickers, shaking her head. “No, I just figured--”

“She’s my daughter, you dumb shit! I shit her out after eating some magic berries, or something. Yeah,” Snickers looked around the crowd, “I gave birth to a four pound log that’s standing beside me right now.” Snickers patted Laxxie’s soft back and nuzzled her. The crowd went silent again.

“Hey, you call me a liar, then you go and say something cr-- weird as that? Hippogryph.”

SNickers laughed. “Being dumb is just in your ‘dinnuh’, isn’t it? The word is hypocrite, you…” Snickers growled and turned away. “I’m done talking with you about this. It’s a nice day, so I’m going for the walk I wanted to take.”

Rainbow moved to block Snickers, which he didn’t appreciate. “This isn’t a joke, we’re talking about this, now.”

“Rainbow,” Snickers asked with a forced smile and gritted teeth, “do you wanna hear a joke?”

Rainbow hesitated, then nodded.

“Snickers.” Snickers said, getting a quiet giggle from a mare in the crowd.

“Uhm… I don’t get it,” Rainbow said, looking aside in the direction of the mare that laughed.

Snickers flipped back in a smooth motion with ease, such like he was hopping over a small rock. The largest difference was that the apex of his flip brought both of his polished hind hooves up, between Rainbow Dash’s rear legs; where they both struck his target.

Snickers, having lost his momentum, fell to his side and rolled just in time to not have Rainbow Dash crash land on him, and she landed; hard. The whole crowd groaned in sympathy for Rainbow’s pain.

Rainbow, for her part, gasped and clapped her forehooves between her hind legs and her tail wrapped under her body; her wings were rigid and when she fell to the ground, she bit her tongue almost enough to draw blood; instead it started to swell. Snickers got to his hooves and looked at Rainbow, curled onto herself and restraining tears. Pain radiated from her groin throughout her body in pulsing waves that were the literal opposite of what she preferred to feel.

Snickers scoffed. “That’s just it, Rainbow; Snickers isn’t a joke.”

Scootaloo ran to Rainbow’s side and gave the mare a light shake. “Rainbow Dash, are you alright? That looked like it hurt, should I get help?”

Scootaloo moved Rainbow’s tail, causing Rainbow to let out her physical pain in a steady scream that startled everypony nearby.

Around the block, windows opened and heads peeked out to see the cause of the noise, many had hopes of a Heart Song, others were less hopeful for a song, but still excited for something to be happening in the hamlet.

Snickers and Laxxie were turning the corner without anypony having noticed them leaving when Twilight and Rarity left the boutique to check on their friend.

Planning to Leave, part 2

Several moments later, Snickers turned and saw Sugarcube Corner. He smiled. He was pleased to believe that Pinkie Pie, at least, had no part in the deception. With Laxxie behind him, watching for threats, Snickers walked into the bakery and was nearly muzzle to muzzle with Pinkie. Pinkie, standing at the doorway, grinned at him in the way he hated.

Snickers screamed and staggered back, bumping into Laxxie who fell with a yelp under him. “Damn it, Pinkie! What did I tell you about doing that?! You fucking fucked my heart with that one, again… and those fucking eyes,” Snickers grumbled after shouting. Foals cried farther into the bakery, but Pinkie’s open mouthed stare matched the rest of the patrons.

“Well?” Snickers asked. “Is anyone gonna shove a teat in that foal’s muzzle? I wanna get something sweet, can’t do that with you staring at me.” Snickers got up and walked past Pinkie while Laxxie walked around her, knowing the mare to be safe; if not confounding to the spirit’s understanding of realities.

Pinkie stepped aside and let Snickers in, then cringed at the preschool aged foals having a birthday party. There were three adult mares and a stallion glaring daggers at Snickers as he looked at them then became relaxed and shrugged. “My bad, won’t happen again. Nice herd you have, sir. Hey, I like your mane, miss. Wow! Those are some huge teats; guess who’s coming to dinner, huh?”

The last mare gasped and turned to face Snickers, blushing with her scowl as Snickers passed her. “You’re as awful as ever, you little punk.”

“And you look fat for a mare that isn’t pregnant; we all have something, don’t we?” Snickers snarked back.

The music started playing again, louder than the gramophone should have been able to go. It happened just in time to cover the most recent mother’s swear at Snickers. “--back where you came from!”

When she was done, Snickers stepped back from the mare as she broke into sobs and turned to be held by the mare beside her. Snickers stayed quiet and hurried to the counter, where Pinkie was standing. A fake smile was across her lips as she looked quickly around the room, noting the sad adult, the furious other three, and nine foals looking confusedly around the room.

Snickers cleared his throat, “Sorry about that, Pinkie. I’m gonna take a banana-carrot-cranberry muffin to go. Put it on mom’s tab, ‘kay?”

“Your mom, or mine?” Pinkie joked and genuinely laughed. She pushed the muffin he requested across the counter, after pulling it from behind her back. “Here you go, Snicky-wickey. Enjoy.”

Snickers frowned slightly. “Call me that again, and I’ll shove that dildo you keep in your tail so far in your body, it’ll disappear to a place not even you can pull it out of, without medical help.” Snickers messily gobbled the muffin on the counter and, with his last bite, faked a sneeze and peppered the pink mare with partially chewed muffin.

As Snickers was leaving, he looked back and waved. “Thanks, this has been a great experience. Three hooves rating. I’ll see you around, Pinks.”

“Uh… thanks?” Pinkie replied nervously. When Snickers left and the door closed behind Laxxie, Pinkie said, “Hey, sorry everypony; he’s going through some stuff again, I guess.”

“Thank you, Pinkie,” the stallion said coldly, “now I’d like to talk about a refu--”

He was cut off when a loud bang came from the front window. Pinkie had her face half an inch from the glass to see what was happening, then saw Snickers preparing another buck to the wall. She let her face fall into her forehoof. “Oh, three hooves. Now I get it.”

Snickers turned around to see his shoe prints in a rough line under the window, then left with a prance. “Yup, three hooves.” He stopped to wipe his mouth on his foreleg and moved on for a block, when a loud shout of his name stopped him short.

“Snickers?!” Applejack called to him.

Snickers stopped and looked at the mare galloping to him, then realized he’d made a huge mistake by striking Rainbow Dash.

The large, muscled, fast mare barreled at him, stopping with a cloud of dust that blew over him, blinding him shortly. “Snickers, Ah’m so sorry. Ah’ve been keepin’ a lie goin’, and it ain’t right a’tall. Twilight and Rarity might’ve told ya, but they ain’t me; so… I’ve been pretendin’ ta not like ya fer the sake of givin’ ya somepony to dislike.

“Now, Ah know what yer gonna say; and Ah know it’s gonna be hard fer ya ta fergive me; but Ah truly thought Ah was strong enough ta take all the guff and huffs ya had. Ah like ya, Snickers. Ah’d be honored ta be a friend of yours, if yer not too upset with me… and, Ah’m sorry fer tryin’ ta push ya with mah sis. Ah just want her ta be happy, and since Ah won’t be havin’ any foals, I was livin’ vicariously through her.

“Uh, that means--”

“I know what it means,” Snickers said, finally opening his eyes to see the world again. Applejack was lying on her belly with her forelegs out, her forehooves presented to him in what he’d learned was one of the most defined ways of pleading a pony had, second being unicorns bowing to expose their horns to the one they were apologizing to.

Snickers swallowed loudly and felt his bottom lip quiver. “S-so, you were only pretending to not like me? The whole time, you really did? Th-that was your lie to me?” Snickers asked and waited. When Applejack nodded, Snickers started to sob quietly. “What the fuck’s wrong with me?”

Applejack sat up and pulled Snickers into a hug that he returned. “Now, Sugarcube. There’s nothin’ wrong with ya. Ah was the dishonest one here, there’s more wrong with me than there ever has been with you. Lyin’ to a foal… that’s wrong in every way. Ah dunno what Ah was thinkin’ listenin’ ta Fluttershy like that, but she… well, that ain’t important, now is it?”

“Wh-why didn’t you get mad at me for using such crass language, Miss Applejack?” Snickers asked, a weakness to his voice, showing his age.

“Well, ponies cuss, it ain’t gonna be stopped with a smack or shout. All Ah can hope ta do is ta teach y’all when ta use them words. As fer the smacks on yer muzzle, Ah had a talk with Apple Bloom about that, and she understands that it’s a last resort, not first. Oh, Ah’m so sorry fer all Ah put ya through.”

Snickers shook his head and snorted in, to clear his nose. He backed from Applejack and looked slightly up at her. “I’m gonna go, so I’ll see you later, Miss Applejack.”

Applejack gave a weary smile. “Ah understand. Ah hope ta see ya sooner, though. Apple family reunion’s in a couple days; be honored if ya’d make it.”

Snickers wondered if she knew he was planning to leave, then turned to resume his trek around Ponyville to say his goodbyes, in whatever form they seemed to take.

Nearly an hour had passed since he’d left Applejack in the street.

Now he approached Fluttershy’s cottage near the border of the forest he dreaded with his entire being. Laxxie didn’t care, either way. She conveyed that through their link, even offering to play hide and seek with him in the low brush.

Snickers sent her a physical scowl that shut her down, even without being connected to him. Laxxie took a completely submissive, apologetic look and whimpered for Snickers. He patted her head and gave her a nuzzle, noting she was as tall as himself, now. He wondered, absently, if Laxxie was going to reach the full size of the mythical creatures he’d heard of sooner than they had thought.

The animals around Fluttershy’s home became loud and noisy when he crossed the stream that bordered her home for Ponyville. Quickly, the front door opened and Fluttershy stepped out with Angel Bunny on her head.

“Oh, Snickers? What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”

Snickers looked at her and saw the worry in her eyes. The same worry he’d seen the first time he saw her, and every time since. Was it all a lie? He wanted to ask. He wanted to ask a lot of things. “I…” his voice cracked and his eyes watered, thinking of the mare he’d seen as an angel; fallen before his very eyes, to being a pony like the rest.

“...I heard you in the library today.”

Fluttershy sat and covered her mouth with her forehooves. “Wh--”

“I heard everything! Lies! Everything was a lie… and you hurt me most of all, because I trusted you with all my thoughts, feelings, fears, and hopes.” Snickers voice then fell flat, “I can’t ever trust you again, and that’s because you’re not Kindness, you’re just cruel.”

Snickers turned and walked away, leaving a shocked mare behind him. Snickers’s ears turned back and pressed back to quiet the sound as Fluttershy started bawling.

…

Goodbye; Ponyville

Returning home, Snickers was met by Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom. He walked past them with a casual gait, and ignored them as they tried to talk. He went to his room and had Laxxie guard the door in her vicious form, scaring the fillies down stairs as he and Kiwe prepared their luggage.

Kiwe held three of Snickers’s outfits in his magic, andSnickers packed them in a large trunk Rarity had given him weeks before. “Snickers, brother and friend, are you sure this is where you want this journey to end?”

“Yeah, and no. I won’t be gone forever, and I won’t be doing anything crazy while we’re in Canterlot; but, I need time away from this place. Mom and Twilight… Applejack isn’t too bad, I guess. I found out she was pretending to be a cunt, which only makes her a snatch, if my cunt-to-bitch scale is right.”

Kiwe’s magic faltered. “Must you use such vile speak? It only serves to make you seem weak.”

“Whatever… damn, I didn’t realize mom made me so many outfits over the past couple months. Wow, I’ve only been in this world for a couple months. Funny...” Snickers chuckled breathily, “...but I didn’t think being a colorful pony would make me so happy. I thought it was a joke at first; rose colored glasses or something.

“But, until a few hours ago, I’d never been happier to be a pony. More than my old life, too. Won’t you be a dear and give me the blue one? Toss the red one, it clashed with my colors then, and it will again now, darling.”

Kiwe smirked at Snickers.

“What?” Snickers asked.

“Only that you will bring more of Ponyville with you than you think.” Kiwe responded.

“Oh, why, certainly,” Snickers waved a forehoof at Kiwe, “I have this whole trunk to fill. Not to mention the photos, and you.”

Kiwe smiled and bowed his head. “Thank you, but I meant more in the manner of who you are now; your family and friends have influenced you, more than you know. Also, before I forget; I have asked Zecora to come to wish us well on our journey.”

Snickers banged his elbow on the trunk and yelped. “What the… why’s she coming around now?! What about the last couple weeks? What about finding me in the forest?!” Snickers screamed.

Kiwe backed away, dropping the clothes and preparing a stunning flash of light, if Snickers acted on the emotions he displayed. “She will explain when she arrives at the library to you and me. So, let us hurry and get to the tree.”

Snickers grumbled and slammed the trunk closed. He bit the handle and dragged it to the door, then left it behind them leave as they left, but not before grabbing the scroll and slipping it into the saddlebags he’d been gifted.

Laxxie turned and startled Snickers with her feral look, but the green returned to Laxxie’s eyes and she gave Snickers a sappy lick, that she nuzzled clean right after. Alpha, are we to travel in the winds as I once did?

Energetically, Snickers spoke to Laxxie, “Yeah, Laxxie, we’re going on a trip. Are you ready to see a new city? The capital city of this land?” Snickers asked, roughly rubbing Laxxie’s head.

I am unsure what you speak of, however, I will follow you, guard you, and stay with you through it all.

“Aww, yeah, you’re ready, aren’t you? Let’s get ready to go and take a break from this place! C’mon, let’s go!” Snickers cheered and walked briskly beside his timberwolf down the stairs.

The CmC were blocking the door outside, so, rather than start a confrontation, Snickers lifted his snout and turned around the stairs with Kiwe and Laxxie, then went out the back door. “Stop him, he’s gettin’ away!” Apple Bloom shouted.

Laxxie stayed back, just inside, and barked at the fillies when they got near her. Snickers smirked at the sound of fillies screaming. The timberwolf was beside Snickers again in a few seconds. They are playing prey very well, Alpha. I pretend to chase them, and they run to hide. He-he, Sweet even began to cry like prey last time. It’s as though they don’t know how to play at all.

Snickers bumped her side with his. “Yup, another great scare, Laxxie. Well done.”

As they walked through town, Snickers ignored the spiteful looks, angry glares, and thankless expressions he got as they walked through town, most mares guarding their foals and covering their ears as Snickers passed by. Kiwe was unnerved by it all, while Laxxie was on guard, watching for anypony to take an action against Snickers.

Before too long, they reached the Golden Oaks Library and went in, startling Spike, who was on a ladder putting books away. Spike hopped to the floor and twiddled his thumbs. “Oh, hey, Snickers. Twilight told me about your talk, and I’m sorry about all that… I didn’t play their game, and I treated you like I would any other colt.”

Snickers shrugged. “Not upset or mad at you, Spike; you’re <a slave>, and they treat you like one.”

“Uh, what’s that word mean?” Spike asked.

Snickers waved a forehoof, dismissing the question. “More importantly, my draconic friend, I have a missive that must be sent to Princess Celestia, at once. I trust you recall her direct orders, yes?”

Spike watched as Snickers dug into his saddlebag and pulled out a poorly rolled scroll. After Snickers passed it to him, Spike rolled it tighter and inhaled. The scroll was pulled from his grasp just as the green fire left his maw. “Hey?! Twilight? What gives?”

“Spike, what are you doing sending letters without telling me first? This could be treasonous or… oh,” Twilight halted herself when she saw Snickers, “I heard voices, but didn’t see you because of the angle we were at. Oh! I guess this is yours?” Twilight said nervously with a chuckle. She passed the scroll back to Snickers, who pointed at Spike.

“Give it to him, he’s sending it for me, per Princess Celestia’s order.”

Twilight’s eyes widened and she looked up the stairs. “Um… Rarity, can I see you down stairs for a moment?”

“Whatever for, darling? You know healing Rainbow Dash’s injury is delicate work, afterall. One little mistake and she may not orgasm properly for days.”

Twilight grimaced. “It’s Snickers, he’s here and has a letter to send to Princess Celestia.”

Rainbow shrieked, a few seconds later Rarity’s horn and mane shown at the top of the stairs just before she descended past Twilight and hopped the last few stairs, nearly slipping into a small flower growing on the window sill. “Snickers, darling, my sweet little prince,” Rarity said urgently, wrapping Snickers in her magic and pulling him to her.

Rarity smooshed his cheeks and kissed the top of his muzzle, earning her a brief fight from him. “Mom, gross! Don’t kiss me with your lips!”

“Oh?” Rarity smirked. “What else shall I kiss you with, my dear? Perhaps my horn, or my tail?” She mused at the colt in her grip.

“Lemme down, this doesn’t make me like you any more than I did an hour ago.” Snickers kept a strong look, but still a slight smirk broke through.

“Oh? And what if I were to do something like… this!” Rarity used her hooves and magic to tickle Snickers on his belly and sides. Snickers giggled, laughed, and begged for her to stop as she hit all his best tickle spots. Finally, she stopped and released him from her magic with a sigh. “Truly, I shall miss times such as these.”

Snickers looked at Rarity; as his humor faded, he noticed her melancholic look. “Y-you knew I was leaving?”

Rarity nodded twice. “Yes, everything seemed to be falling into that line of chance. I only hoped we would be wrong, but Twilight is quite astute at noticing things. Rainbow was the one who actually realized you’d be sending the letter today. That mare gives herself far too little credit at times.

“Oh, here I am, prattling on when I should be sharing your last moments with us as a family. Wherever is Sweetie Belle? I was sure she’d have gathered you by now.”

Snickers smiled. “I got Laxxie to scare her off. Oh, shit, that’s right. Laxxie, you should look like a pony for a while; I don’t want anypo-- anyone to freak out, seeing a timberwolf as big as me walking around the capital of the realm.”

Laxxie’s body creaked and groaned as the wood reformed, and several seconds later the timberpony stood beside Snickers. “Apa!”

Snickers motioned his head to Laxxie. “She’s quite the talker.”

Laxxie looked at Rarity, then Twilight, finally Spike. “Ma-am, Ti-li, Pike!”

Rarity and Snickers stared at Laxxie, then looked to one another and felt the sadness surrounding them. It might be the last time they saw one another for a while, and they weren’t sure how to end the moment, so they hugged one another and shared in the warmth of their embrace.

The moment ended for them when Spike’s fire breath scorched the letter to ash. “Huh? Oh, sorry. I figured I’d send the letter while you two were having a moment; I didn’t mean to ruin it.”

Both ponies shrugged and noticed Kiwe standing with Twilight by the stairs. Twilight’s horn was glowing and a camera was lowering behind her, but was still totally visible since Twilight was standing. “I just wanted a picture to remember this moment; it was so sweet.”

“Sweet?!” Rainbow shouted from the top of the stairs. “What you did to me… was anything but… cool,” Rainbow spoke haltingly as she started to descend the stairs with stiff hind legs.

“Rainbow, you shouldn’t be out of bed until we’re done! Go, back to bed with you,” Rarity chirped, trying to urge Twilight to help Rainbow away from confronting Snickers.

Twilight used her magic to lift Rainbow and hold her by her side, but Rainbow wasn’t having it. “Twilight, let me down… I need to repay him for, ah-ah-ah, ow… what he did to me.”

Snickers taunted Rainbow, “Ha, you wish you could try. I’d get another good kick in, just to prove I could.”

“Y-you little… ouch! Twilight, watch the tail!” Rainbow whined. An ice pack fell from behind Rainbow, small specks of red were on the cloth covering the ice. Rainbow gasped and reached her forelegs down to grab it. “Put it back, put it back! Ah, it’s swelling again.” Rainbow hissed and groaned in pain, even after Rarity rushed behind Rainbow to pick up and replace the ice pack.

Rarity tutted. “You see, Rainbow Dash? You had your moment of anger, now go back to--”

“No,” Rainbow shook her head. “Can’t let it end like this. I was mean to you, and did the wrong thing. You don’t have to forgive me, or anything like that; just… don’t hate Aj; she was against it from the start.”

Snickers wanted to spit on Rainbow, again. “So, you tricked the mare you love into doing something she didn’t want to do, just to make yourself feel like you were doing the right thing?”

The room was quiet for a moment, then Rainbow spoke weakly. “Well, when you put it like that…”

Snickers scoffed and looked away from Rainbow. “Go shove all the ice in that bag in there, it’s the only wetness you’ll be getting, if the world is fair.”

“Well, with AJ, I’ll be getting wet without even trying!” Rainbow snapped back.

Twilight shook her head. “Okay, you’re going back upstairs now, and if you leave the bed again, I’m going to numb more than your labia, got it?”

Rainbow sagged in the purple aura. “Yeah, whatever. Just, get me away from him…”

Twilight’s horn brightened and both she and Rainbow Dash vanished in a teleport.

Rarity sighed and placed a forehoof on her head, massaging her temple gently. “About five minutes ago, Rainbow Dash was wondering how to earn your trust back. Now, though, she’s ready to geld you. What is wrong with that mare?”

Snickers sniffled. “Well, she’s actually super smart; smarter than Twilight, maybe. Also, she’s got social anxiety bad, but she refuses to take medication for it. Which is weird, because almost all the meds here are either magical, holistic, or a combination of the two; it shouldn’t mess with her at all.”

Kiwe cleared his throat, “Actually, if I may; there is something I would like to say. There are some herbs that can affect the magic flow in a pony in the smallest of ways; it could be she worries her speed will be affected in this way.”

Rarity and Snickers nodded to themselves at the idea. “I think that may be the best answer, thank you for that, Kiwe.” Rarity said. “Now, let’s wait for Twilight to return and perhaps we can plan a schedule to write between one another, if that’s okay with you.”

Snickers nodded. “Yeah, I’m okay with that… I mean, I’m not a liar, or a trickster, or whatever,” Snickers said, trying to impart the dislike he had for what Rarity had done. However, even though he wasn’t ready to trust her, she had cared for him like a mother should to a child, even if it did start roughly.

They had both learned, together, how to be a family; and that was something they both couldn’t fake or deny.

Twilight descended the stairs with a frustrated sigh. “Rainbow’s asleep; I had to stun her twice, and finally I just cast a sleep spell on her. She’ll have a nice rest and while she’s out, we can talk about--”

There was a knock at the door, firm and steady. The five in the room looked between one another. “Huh,” Spike said, “it’s open, so why’s a pony knocking?”

“Just get the door,” Twilight said, excitedly having an idea as to who was knocking.

Opening the door, the feeling of power and serenity filled the room and Snickers saw Celestia herself walk in, a smile on her muzzle. “Aquelis, er, Snickers, it is good to see you again. I received your letter and am ready to take you to Canterlot as my guest. Have you said your goodbye’s?”

Snickers nodded. “Yeah. Goodbye,” he said to Rarity and Twilight. He held a hoof up to Spike and got a bump. “See ya around, Spike.”

Spike smiled “See ya, don’t forget to write.”

Celestia’s horn glowed and a book sharing Snickers’s coat color with writing on the cover colored as his mane was passed to Rarity. “While I am taking him, I am not heartless. This is an enchanted book; anything you write in it will be transcribed to an exact copy, both ways. You can converse, share ideas, and communicate as though you were writing from across the room to one another.”

Rarity took the offered book with reverence and read the cover. “‘Snickers’. I presume his shares my name?”

Celestia nodded once. “Yes, it awaits him in his room at the castle. Shall we depart with your friend, Kiwi?”

Kiwe grumbled. “My name is Azikiwe, not Kiwi.”

Celestia frowned slightly. “I am very sorry, it was my mistake. I won’t make that mistake again, nor shall any of my staff. Do you have any luggage, Snickers?”

“Yeah, back at Carousel Boutique, two trunks; one for each of us by the front door. Kiwe’s and mine.”

Celestia turned her head back. “Guards, please gather their luggage and bring it to their suite at the castle. I will be taking them home by myself. Come closer and we shall depart at once.”

Snickers and Kiwe moved to Celestia and as soon as the alicorn’s horn began to glow with a golden aura, both colts and the mare vanished in a smooth transition of golden light.

…

The colts didn’t have time to blink and their eyes only needed to adjust to the brighter light reflecting off of a polished, white marble statue as the first thing they saw.

Their mouths dropped open at once and Celestia chuckled quietly to herself as she watched them step past her and look at the apartment they were given. Four maids, two butlers, and a chef stood to the side, but went practically unnoticed by the foals as Snickers and Kiwe looked up to see a ceiling as tall as the showroom in the boutique they, until recently, called home.

Walking from the foyer into the main ensuite, Snickers and Kiwe looked at each other and grinned.

They reared and kicked their forelegs, then landed in a gallop going separate ways, giggling and laughing as they began to explore the room. A table was set with fruit and vegetables, a small tray of fish jerky sat to the side and Kiwe grabbed one to chew on. Snickers found a wall taller than Celestia, including her horn.

A rolling ladder stood against the center and with a nudge it moved along the wall, earning a grin from Snickers. He turned and ran towards a doorway and stopped, gasping. “Kiwe?! There’s another room in here, and stairs!”

Snickers waited, prancing in place, for Kiwe, and once they were side by side, they ran into the gathering room and up the dual flight of stairs to explore their new home.

Author's Notes:

Thanks for reading; on to the next book... soon!