Cliché 1

Waking Up In Equestria As A Quadruped

I woke with a groan as I felt cool blades of grass move with me.

Wait...

I cracked an eye open to see if that was right but winced and closed it as the sun stabbed like a spear. "Owww." I wined petulantly.

Once again, wait... That wasn't my voice, was it?

Turning my head so the sun wouldn't dagger my eye's again I looked around myself as best I could. I was outside in what was at least waist high grass, so probably a field somewhere in the nearby country side. 'But how did I get here? I don't do drugs and I didn't go drinking last night, so how?'

I pushed myself up to a, surprisingly uncomfortable, standing position. I looked down at my legs and just froze as I took in the why of my uncomfortable standing. The calf area between my knees and ankles had shortened while my feet themselves had lengthened to seemingly compensate for the change. Not to mention that instead of having ten toes I had two large toes, more precisely known as hooves. And fur, there is fur as well. Light violet-pink white-ish fur and white-blue hooves at that.

"Alright then..." I said in once again not my voice. I raised what I knew to be my arms and hands to see if they where different as well and, surprise surprise, they were also covered in fur and caped with hooves of the same color. I didn't get long to look at them however as a curtain of brown fell in front of my face. "Well, my hair is the same color at least."

Now wide awake and doing my best to force myself not to panic, do to the fact that I don't know how safe this field is, I looked around myself but saw nothing as the grass was actually taller than I am. "Okay, slightly closer to panic now." The young voice I spoke with not helping things at all.

'Alright, step one; find a safe place. Step two; panic. Step three; survive and try to understand what the fuck. Step four; profi-NOT now brain.'

Choosing a random direction I started walking, then had to adjust from walking like a plantigrade biped to a ungulate quadruped. It was easier than I thought it would be, I guess that is some form of consolation.

"I can't see anything with this grass damiiiiiii-oof!"

...

"Ow, ah thin' I bith mah thougn. Oooh, tain tacks. Cithilithathion!" I shouted in excitement as I stood up. I can follow the vibrating train tracks to a town. 'Wait vibrating?' I looked behind myself and felt my eyes shrink to pinpricks as I saw a train barreling up the tracks towards me.

'Move, move, move, MOVE, MOVE BRAIN, FUCKING MOVE!!' At what was probably the last second of safety my body finally moved and I leapt to the side of the tracks that I came from. I tumbled for a good few feet before I stopped and turned to dazedly watch the speeding train. And a terrible idea struck me.

'If I can get on the train then I don't have to walk to a town.' Unlike when I was in danger my body responded immediately to chase the train before it fully passed me by and I started trying to time a jump to land on the platform that would be on the back of the train. 'I hope that platform is actually there and it's not just a popular media thing.'

And I jumped before I even noticed it was time to and latched on to the rail of the thankfully real back platform. 'Now how am I going to get in the train? 'Cause I'm pretty sure that hooves where not made to climb a railing and that trains lock there doors while in motion.'

Maudileena Daisy Pie, or Maud Pie, was on her way back to her seat on the train when she saw a foal running along side the train. She shrugged it off as the foal most likely lived in some extremely rural town near the tracks here. Or at least she did until she saw the foal hanging off the back of the train as she neared her seat. 'I should get the Conductor to handle this.' Maud began to turn till she saw the foal almost slip and fall and she was out to help the child before anyone was capable of seeing where she went.

"What are you doing?!" She asked, worry just barely noticeable through her omnipresent monotone.

The foal jumped and nearly lost its hold on the train at the sound of her voice. Maud didn't wait for a response as she grabbed the filly before she could fall and pulled her over the railing. "That was stupid. You could have gotten hurt!"

The foal just trembled at her hooves not saying anything. *Sigh* "Come on, let's go find the Conductor. Can you tell me your name?"

'Still no response. *Sigh*'

I was running different ideas of how I could climb the railing through my head when I was startled by a voice. "Was machst du gerade?!"

I almost lost my grip but managed to save myself from a fall and looked to where the voice came from. I opened my mouth to ask what the... horse, I guess, said but didn't get the chance as I was pulled over the banister. That is the right word, right? I looked up to thank the wo-mare(?) but stopped as I saw the apathetic and possibly angry look on her face. "Das war dumm. Du hättest verletzt werden können!"

'Yep, she's angry.' I thought to myself as I cowered at her hooves.

She sighed before saying more in a blank voice and motioning for me to follow her. "Komm schon, lass uns den Dirigenten finden. Kannst du mir deinen Namen sagen?"

As I silently followed along I had to wonder just what shit I got myself into. And why was I so small?

Cliché 2

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Arrival At Pony-er Rockville

My vision faded in and out. Dark fog blurred shapes and sounds. Bright lights and slurring colors.

"Uhhhg... whath hathend...?" *Beep* "Wah-" *Beep* "Hospital, got i-" *Beep*

My vision began to clear. *Beep* 'Alright that's starting to get annoying' *Beep* 'Well this is definitely a hospital room. Smell of sterile cleaner, blank white walls, and annoyingly bright as fuck lights.' *Beep*

'... Ignore it. Alright, memories what have thee.'

Fear, adrenaline, speed. 'A train.'

Gray, female voice, German language. 'Angry or something horse woman.'

Grey, male voice, conductor outfit. 'Train conductor, probably. There should be more than tha-'

Pink, female, surprised, unsure, scared. 'Ok, something pink surprised me... And now I'm in a hospital... There has to be more to it than that.'

Maud let Pinkie know what she was doing and said pink pony decided to go with her to see if she could get the filly to talk to her. The filly however seemed to be distracted as she wasn't reacting to Pinkie unless she shoved her face in to the filly's.

It was not long before they came up on the conductor, but when Maud began to explain what happened the filly collapsed. "Conductor, is there a Doctor on the train." Maud asked.

"Yes, I'll be right back with the trains physician." The conductor said before he took off further up the train.

Maud and Pinkie made sure that the filly had room around her and not long later the conductor was back with the physician. "What happened?" The unicorn questioned as she approached the downed filly.

"Idon'tknowshewasuponemomentbeingallgloomyan-" Pinkie continued on with Maud's hoof in her mouth.

"She ran alongside the train and jumped on. We were bringing her to the conductor to explain and she collapsed not long after we got up here." Maud said in a calm and clear tone.

The physician began to scan the filly with diagnostic spells to try and find out what was wrong. After her spells finished she lifted the foal in her magic brought her to an empty booth. "She is malnourished, severely malnourished. The fact that she was standing at all is a miracle in of itself. We need to get her to a proper hospital as fast as we can. How long before the next stop Stop Watch?"

"Uh, two and a half hours. But I can go and talk to the boys in the engine room and bring it closer to an hour." The conductor Stop Watch said.

"Then do it fast. You, bring me a water bottle." She said while pointing at one of the crew members.

"Pinkie, when we get to the station go and tell the rest of the family what's going on. I'm going to take the filly to the hospital. Got it?" Pinkie saluted at Maud's words as she pulled her hoof out of her mouth.

Maud sat in the hospital waiting room talking to one of the local guards to file a report on what had happened while she waited to get word back from the Doctor's. "Thank you Ma'ma. We will look into this as soon as we can." The Solar Guard said as he went to meet his Lunar Guard Partner at the door.

Pinkie's timing was perfect as ever as she burst in to the room right as the guards had turned to leave, smashing the double doors into their faces and knocking them to either side of the entrance, and rushed up to her sister.

The sisters family was not far behind her and, surprisingly, so were Pinkie's Ponyville friends. But just before any of them could start talking a Doctor came out to speak to her. "You would think someone was righting a story with how convenient that was." Monotone Maud said.

"I know, right?" Pinkie rhetorically asked as she popped in beside her sister and they both looked off to the side as if looking at an audience. That is until Pinkie let out a shout.

"LINE BREAK!"

I need to use the bathroom. I looked to side and saw two doors. One most likely led out into a hall way while the other was probably a bathroom... I hope.

Turning over I let myself fall out of bed and on to my hooves. Of course during my fall I felt several things pull on me and fell on my side instead of my hooves with a splash, and I do have to say-"FUCKIN' OWHAHOW!!" I looked back up to the bed to see was just yanked out of me, emphasis on the out of part.

Hanging off the edge of the bed I saw some kind of bracelet thing that, paired with the flat line, was probably the heart monitor. Then there was a IV that had been yanked out with a small amount of blood and... is that... That is a Jimmy fucking catheter. Well... considering I don't still have to pee I at least know what that splash was. I need at least three showers now. I thought with a shudder.