> Professor Charles Hoofington and the Temple of the Moon Queen > by ProfCharles > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Prologue > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Authors note- this is my first fanfiction (heck, my first story) so be nice, please. Prologue It was a dark and windy night in the city of Canterlot, cloaked figures running to and fro through the winding streets, seeking to avoid the oncoming rain. One such figure approached the Moon's Folly inn, a beacon of warmth, companionship and good ale against the freezing night. The cloaked figure opened the door and was met by a burst of laughter coming from the packed common room. The source of the laughter was a rough looking unicorn, with a grey coat and a black mane that had never been combed, a dashing eye patch over one eye. The cloaked figure shook his head and removed his hood. He too was a unicorn, with identical colouration and features to the other unicorn, but where the first was unkempt; this one was impeccable in appearance, freshly groomed, with a monocle where the other had his patch. "Silver!" cried the first unicorn. "I saved a seat for you brother." He waved, indicating to the seat next to him. "Thank you Steel, you’re too kind" replied Silver, sliding next to his twin. The other patrons looked at the brothers in confusion, for the pair were a study in both contrasts and similarities- physically, they were identical to each other, but Steel, or Stanley Steel to use his full name, looked like he had fought his way up from the streets of Manehatten, whilst Sterling Silver looked like he had just finished attending one of Canterlot's nobles. Even their cutie-marks indicated this- Steel was adorned with a switchblade, whilst Sliver bore a crossed knife and fork, the type fancy nobles would use to eat with. Satisfied that his brother was comfortable, Steel turned to the small crowd that had gathered around him. "Now, where was I?" he asked. "You were telling us about your adventures in the jungle of Amaz." called out a young mare with a purple coat and a blue mane with a festival mask for a cutie-mark, using the comment to sidle closer to the brothers. "Ah, I remember that" Everypony turned to Sliver. "Yes, that was the time you got us lost because you brought the wrong map." Steel ducked his head in embarrassment as the group let off a good natured laugh at his expense. "Not much to say about that one really, we got lost; camped in the forest for a week and eventually made it back to the trading post." Silver continued, enjoying his brother’s discomfort. "Well, why don't you tell us the story behind your eye patch?" the purple mare asked of Steel. "Ah, that story is a bit boring. All that happened was one of my masters inventions exploded, and the next thing I know I have two inches of copper clockwork sticking out of my face. Now, the story of how I replaced it is much more interesting." "Wait... Replaced your eye?" Not saying anything, Steel merely grinned and raised his hoof to his face, flipping the eye patch up. There was a collective gasp from the audience and the purple mare shied away, as a clockwork orb with a red light peered out of Steels face. Chuckling to himself, Steel lowered the flap. "Don't worry; most people have that reaction to my clockwork eye." "A clockwork... Eye?" "Yup. It all started on a cold and windy night-" "Actually, it was a warm and sunny morning. It’s a good story, and we don't need any of your ... embellishments, dear brother." "Fine Silver, we'll tell it your way. Anyway, it was a warm and sunny morning right here in Canterlot, when..." > Chapter 1 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 1 "Good morning, Professor!" exclaimed Silver as he burst into a very large, posh and dishevelled bedroom, bearing a silver platter. Rolling one eye at the unused bed, he noticed the occupant of the room, a brown-coated earth pony with a dark brown mane and a scroll bound within a cog for a cutie-mark, instead asleep on the desk, surrounded by various tools. He strode over to the curtains and threw them open, startling the pony that had been asleep on the desk. Silver looked down as the brown pony and sighed. "Master Charles, you must stop staying up all night like this." "Sorry Silver, but I had an awesome idea for how I could make Steel's eye better!" Charles exclaimed, holding up a hoof. At the end of it was a copper orb. Silver could see gears and cogs inside it. Instantly he dived across room behind the bed. "Oh come on Silver, it’s not going to explode. Again." Charles said, a look of exasperation on his face. "I am sorry sir, force of habit" And it was. Professor Charles Hoofington came from a long line of famous inventors, and is everything his parents wanted him to be- smart, quick-witted (if a little scatter-brained) and most importantly, flame retardant. This last aspect is particularly important because the Hoofingtons have been labouring under a bad luck curse for several generations now, which commonly manifests itself by causing the myriad inventions the family creates to blow up, often spectacularly. The Hoofingtons generally take this in their stride, seeing the funny side of the curse, believing that it is merely trying to make them better inventors. Charles is no exception to this, although when a toaster takes out one of your employees eyes it somewhat stops becoming fun and games. "However, sir, I feel that I should warn you that Steel has developed a small amount of distrust for your contraptions since the ... Incident." Silver continued, adjusting his monocle. Charles simply waved a hoof at this and looked expectantly at the platter that Silver had somehow not only held on to be kept upright on his dive across the room. "Ah, yes, breakfast. Today the chef has prepared pancakes, the usual spreads and fillings and a glass of orange juice, made with fresh oranges. Also, the equestrian daily- looks like the papers are having another attack on Princess Luna, the poor dear and a letter for you from the castle." Silver said, laying down the platter on a pony shaped space on the cluttered desk. "A letter? From the castle? For me?" Charles said, between forkfuls of pancake. "What does it say?" Silver picked up a tool of the desk with his horn, a grey glow surrounding the handle, and opened the envelope. "Ahem. Dear Professor Charles Hoofington, It has come to our attention that thou you are not only a mechanical genius, but also an avid explorer, having travelled to many lands. We I feel that such talents will be very useful and as such I ask you to meet me tonight at the palace, after moonrise but before night court begins. Yours expectantly, Princess Luna" The two ponies stared at each other, before attempting to speak at the same time. "Princess Luna..." "Tonight, before night court..." "Wants me?" "Mechanical genius!?" "Oy! This PhD isn't for nothing you know!" --- Later that evening, Charles was pacing up and down in his drawing room, looking increasingly anxious and nervous, whilst Silver lay down in front of the fireplace, a book between his hooves. "Just how can you sit there and be calm like that!" shouted Charles at Silver, breaking the tension of the room. "You would be surprised what they teach you at butler school." Silver replied smoothly. "Maintaining a calm and collected demeanour is all part of our charm, remember. You should stop worrying, everything will be fine. Steel should be back from the hospital soon as well and then we will all go back to the palace together. Now stop pacing, you’re ruffling your waistcoat." The grey unicorn stood up and fixed Charles' waistcoat, before stepping back, satisfied. "Steels coming back! Oh sweet Celestia I had forgotten that! Do you think he'll forgive me?" Charles backed up, eyes wild. "Of course I’ll forgive you, you fool. It was an accident. My own fault for getting too close to one of your idiotic machines anyway." said a new voice. Silver and Charles turned their heads towards the door, where Steel stood, his dashing grin accompanied by a new and rather roguish eye patch. Silver was the first one to speak "Wow brother, you must be fighting the ladies of with that eye patch!" "Tell me about it" Steel replied, rolling his one good eye. "I was approached by three pretty young mares on my way here- and a stallion! Why, when I mentioned that I was an explorer to one of them - one of the mares Silver, you know my barn door doesn't swing that way, anyway she sold me this map at a discount." he proudly brandished a scroll in the air with his horn. "A map? Of what?" asked Charles, his nervousness forgotten in the wake of Steels return. "A map" beamed Steel "leading to the lost emerald necklace of the zebra kings! Missing for a thousand years! And I have a map to its last know location, the Striped Temple!" "The lost emerald necklace of the zebra kings?" asked Charles. Steel nodded eagerly. "the same lost emerald necklace of the zebra kings that was found last year and is currently on display in the Canterlot museum? Hmm?" Steel's expression dropped like a stone. "Found? But I ... She lied to me!" Suddenly, the clock chimed interrupting Steel's tirade and causing Silver to glance at it. "We need to be moving if we want to get to the palace on time." Silver commented, moving out of the room. Charles and Steel followed, the former beginning to panic again, the later confused. "The palace? Why are we going there?" "Princess Luna wishes to meet our master tonight." "About what?" "Were not sure, but it sounds like she has a job for us." "So nothing terrible then?" "Well, she may decide to punish you. That mane is a crime against nature. And that waistcoat- how long have you had it? Maybe you should just wait with the chariot." "Oh hardy-har-ha." --- > Chapter 2 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 2   Princess Luna, goddess of the moon and one of the two rulers of Equestria, paced up and down in her study, agitated by the pile of newspapers on her desk, the topmost reading:    "Luna- fit to lead after 1000 years absence?"   That one was the kindest one she had read.   "I just have to get out of this horrid city." she commented to one of her hoofmaidens, more to vocalise her thoughts than to initiate a conversation. "Celestia may like it here, but she was always the more popular one. Even after Twilight Sparkle's help, I still struggle to fit in here, surrounded by nobles who mutter pleasantries one moment and mocking jokes the next and the media, who only report the worst possible news in order to sell their horrid opinions to the masses! Why, before my banishment, we didn't even have journalists!"   During this tirade she had somehow, without realising, gotten her hooves upon an old abacus and began clicking the beads back and forth. At this behaviour, one of the hoofmaidens, a mare with a white coat and a yellow mane, coughed gently. Luna looked down at the abacus, blushed and sheepishly put it away under the desk.   "Of course that’s what this whole meeting is about, isn't it? To move back to back to my old palace, near my friends in Ponyville." the princess’s monologue continued.  "But where is that damned inventor anyway? This meeting was supposed to start- "she glanced at the clock on the wall "- in five minutes time" she said blushing again.   Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, startling the princess, causing her tiara to fall off. One of the hoofmaidens rushed to pick it up, whilst another saw to the door.   "Um, Professor Charles is here to see you, your highness” the hoofmaiden at the door called out. Luna waved away the mare fussing with her hair before nodding.   "Right send him in" she ordered, putting on an air of respectable royalty. He's early, she thought, interesting. Most of her visitors turned up as late as they could get away with.   The hoofmaiden opened the door wider to admit the brown coated stallion, who bowed deeply before the princess. "Professor Charles Hoofington, at your service, your highness" he spoke, rising out of the bow as the hoofmaidens filed out.   "That is quite an unusual name you have there, professor" remarked the princess. "I remember Charles as being a common name among a long extinct species and isn't Hoofington a town near Manehatten?"   "Ah, yes, I suppose my name is a bit... Peculiar. My mother, an avid archaeologist, chose my first name after finding a stunningly preserved stone tablet from the paleopony period addressed to somepony- or something, the scroll wasn't that clear, by the name of Charles, whilst my last name is in remembrance of my ancestor, silver hooves, who was the first mayor of the town and changed his name to Hoofington as part of an attempt to buy the land the town was on from Princess Celestia. A week after he bought the land the Hoofington silver mines opened."   Charles blushed and lowered his head as he realised he was speaking with pride about a pony that had conned one princess in front of the other. Luna merely raised an eyebrow at the story and decided to mentally file it away for later.   "Enough of that, onto business. I have a very important task for you, professor. Your credentials seem to match up for the task at hand- you are an explorer and inventor by both trade and heritage, you have an acute understanding of architecture, modern and ancient and most importantly, despite being minor nobility, you stay clear of politics and have no clear alliance to any political group."   "Well, I try my best to stay out of politics, your highness; we just don't seem to get on very well. Accidentally setting prince Blueblood on fire didn't help." Charles chucked to himself, before remembering who he was speaking to. "Ah, but what do you need a pony like me for anyway, your highness?"   "I need you to travel to the Everfree forest and the palace of the royal pony sisters to establish whether or not it can be made habitable or not. You may have noticed, but the papers" Luna swung a hoof over to the desk "are less than happy with my presence here and as such, I have decided to move the moon court away from Canterlot."   To his credit, Charles managed to keep his jaw from dropping at this news, but he was still visibly shocked by it. "Move the night court away from Canterlot? But where ... Oh, i see, you want to back to the old castle. And you need somepony who can be discreet and ignored by the press don't you?"   "Simply put, yes. Are you up to the task?"   "You can count on me, your highness. I can leave first thing in the morning if you wish it."   "Excellent. However, before you go to the castle, i need you to meet up with somepony. My sisters prized student, Twilight Sparkle. You may have heard of her."   Charles' eyes boggled. "Twilight Sparkle? The bearer of the element of magic? The most powerful spell caster outside of yourself and your sister? The mare that defeated Discord?"   "So you have heard of her!" Luna laughed. "you can find her at the Library at Ponyville, I’ll send a letter informing her of your arrival. She is quite knowledgeable of both the area and the history of the castle. You may also find her outlook on life useful. I know I did."   Charles just stood there, letting it all sink in. A mission from the princess, an abandoned ruin and the element of magic herself. It sounded like the start of a cheesy adventure novel. All we need now, he thought, is a villain trying to take over the world.   > Chapter 3 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 3 Early next morning, the Cantalot-Ponyville express speed through the equestrian countryside. Inside the train the trio of stallions were sat in a private booth discussing the task set by Princess Luna. "I still dont get why the princess chose us of all ponies to do this" said Steel "Surely she has servants- or even her guards, who can do this themselves." "Ah, but thats the point" replied Sliver "She doesn't want anyone to close to her for this task. She is trying to avoid bad publicity, and if the press got wind of her moving away from Cantalot, why, they would have a field day." "But wouldn't the press have the same reaction when the Princess declares her move. She can't just slip out of the castle on a whim and not be noticed, she's the bloody Princess." Charles rolled his eyes and stared out the window. The twins had been debating this point back and forth ever since he had told them about the job. This particular batch of arguments had been branded about at least 4 times now, or so it felt. He was beginning to suspect the brothers were only arguing for the mere sake of it and it was starting to bore him to tears. "So" began Charles, hoping to change the topic "Have you given the new eye any more thought, Steel?" "Nope" replied Steel, rubbing his eye patch with a hoof "I will never come within hoofs reach of one of your crazy contraptions again, let alone allow you to put one in my head." "But I swear that this can not explode. And it has so many useful features. Here, let me show you" Charles reached into a  pocket on his waistcoat. "You brought it with you!?" exclaimed the brothers simultaneously from their new hiding place in the luggage rack. Charles frowned up at them, but left the device in his pocket. "Say, you did inform the Princess of your family curse, right?" Inquired Silver as the brothers climbed back down. "Curse?" asked Charles innocently. Sliver replied with a deadpan glare. "Yes, curse. As in the one that was placed upon your family by an angry and hoodwinked goddess. The one that causes your inventions to explode, your expeditions become lost and just generally strike you down with bad luck." Charles looked sheepishly away. "It, uh, it didn't, how do i say this, um, it, well-" "Spit it out already!" Snapped Steel "It didn't come up alright! I didn't mention it and She didn't ask about it!" "So she doesn't know that this trip is inherently doomed then? Say, Steel, what do you think the penalty for failing a divinely appointed task is?" "Banishment. To the moon, almost certainly." "Oh come on, thats not going to happen. Anyway, I am fairly sure that the curse wouldn't dare interfere with a task like this." Charles interjected. Steel and Sliver simultaneously facehoofed. "You had to say it..." --- Spike woke to the sounds of crashing and banging downstairs. The diminutive purple baby dragon rubbed his sleepy eyes and staggered down to the main room of the library/tree house-thing he and Twilight lived in. The room looked like a bomb had hit it. Or another of Twilights all night study sessions, there wasn't really much difference between the two. Sometimes even the resulting screams where the same. Spike found the purple unicorn frantically rushing around trying to force a large pile of books back onto the shelves from off the floor, but in her haste kept knocking them off again. Each time this happened her mane became slightly more frazzled than before. "Twilight, what are you doing?" he asked yawning. "I'm trying to tidy this place up, what does it look like I am doing?" she replied breathlessly, not even stoping her frantic work to look at him. "But why?" Spike asked, running over to where an enchanted broom was trying to sweep some books under the carpet. "Derpy dropped of a letter from the princess just now telling me we have guests arriving today!" Twilight passed a scroll over to him with her magic. "The Princess? Why didn't she just send it through me?" "Princess Luna, Spike, not Princess Celestia. Just read it, it explains everything." "Okay. Ahem." Spike gave up on the broom and  began reading. "Dearest Twilight Sparkle, i hope you and your friends are doing well. Life at the castle is still difficult, but things are improving somewhat. I wish to ask a favour of you. I am sending the explorer and inventor Professor Charles Hoofington - huh, never heard of him." "Just get on with it" "Okay okay, keep your mane on. Anyway, blah blah.. Hoofington to investigate the structural stability of the Everfree Forest Ruins, in order to discover whether or not the castle can be made liveable once more. It is my wish that you accompany and assist him and his two servants in this task. They should be arriving tomorrow- uh Twilight-" "Check the date on the letter. Derpy delivered it late. Something about a doctor and time being wrong, whatever that means. Their coming today." "Oh. Uh, arriving tomorrow, which should give you plenty of time to prepare for their arrival. Signed, your loving Princess Luna. Oh thats sweet, she even added a heart. P.S can't wait to have you back in Cantalot, you little minx-" "Okay, no need to finish that off." Twilight said, hastily pulling the letter off Spike with her magic, before neatly folding it and sliding it into her diary. Spike wisely decided to not pursue the matter. "So when are they getting hear then?" A sudden knocking at the door answered Spikes question.  > Chapter 4 > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 4 Knock Knock Knock Twilight and Spike froze, staring at the door as if a terrible monster lay waiting outside. This was terrible timing, thought Spike. The room is a mess, Twilights mane is in disarray and the enchanted broom had began to attack the furniture with a surprising ferocity. Knock Knock BOOM "YOU BLOODY IDIOT!" roared a stallion's voice from the other side of the door. Twilight crept up to the door and tentatively opened it. She gasped as she saw a very stunned brown earth pony whose mane was stuck on end with a face covered in black soot. His rather fine waistcoat had a small flame along the shoulder, but it quickly died out. "Heh, sorry about that. My automatic knocking device still has a few ... Kinks to work out." the stallion said, raising a hoof. Twilight saw that it was holding a mangled mass of bronze metal. The automatic knocking device, she summarised, although she wondered how it ended up like that, yet the pony had barely a scratch on him. "KINKS! YOU CALL THAT A KINK?" came an enraged voice from above, the same voice as before. Looking up twilight was surprised to see a near identical pair of unicorns clinging to a  branch over the door, well out of harms reach. As they climbed down Twilight noted that the only major differences between the two was that one bore a monocle whilst the other sported an eye patch. "Uh, you wouldn't happen to be the professor Princess Luna sent would you?" Twilight asked, almost fearing the answer. "Why yes, I am. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Professor Charles Hoofington, inventor and explorer extraordinaire!" the brown pony said with a flourish. "The only thing extraordinary about you is the fact that you haven't killed yourself yet." said the unicorn with the monocle. "And these two are my stallionservants, Sterling Silver and Stanely Steel." Charles said with a sigh. "Long suffering stallionservants" Steel corrected. Twilights eyes flicked back and forth nervously between the ponies as they engaged in banter. "I'm Twilight Sparkle, nice to meet you" she said, hoping to cut off the worst of the banter before it escalated.  "Would you like to come in?" Twilight mentaly flinched, remembering the mess the library was in. "We would love to, come along chaps, no point standing here like piffy on a rock bun,  as my dear old mum always said." Charles replied, following Twilight into the library. Twilight breathed a sigh of relief as she saw that the library had gained some semblance of order- the books were on the shelves (although out of order), the furiture arranged and the enchanted broom had been chopped into small pieces and put in the log basket. "Spike! Could you put the kettle on? We have -oh" she called put as Spike entered the room with a tray bearing 4 cups of tea. "This is Spike, my number 1 assistant." "Ooh, a baby dragon" said Charles "Hey guys, we should-" "No" "But-" "No" Charles moodily slouched into a chair and picked up his cup. Twilight saw this and decided to lighten the mood with a change in topic. "So your an inventor then? Made anything I would know of?" she asked Charles perked up at this. Inventing was one of his favourite topics. "oh i have invented a whole varity of things. For staters there is the automatic door knocker, but you saw how well that one went. Then theres the clockwork messenger pigeon-" "It got lost and blew up." Steel interjected. Charles ignored this and plowed on. "Then theres the steam powered steam cooker-" "That also blew up." This time Silver interupted. "The wind-up dishwasher-" "Decapicated a statue at a hundred paces, then blew up." "The solar-powered toaster-" "Blew up whilst I was holding it and cost me my eye." Steel said, glaring at an oblivious Charles. Twilight put a hoof over her mouth in surprise at this. "The Hoofington faimly special, the firework display in a box-" "Which, surprisingly, didn't blow up." Charles shot a glare at his stallionservants and they took the hint. Meanwhile, throughout this triade Tiwlight was struggling not to despair. Who was this madpony Luna had set on her? "But my greatest and latest invention, one I feel will change Equestria for ever, is this!" the Professor exclaimed, pulling a bronze orb out of his coat pocket. Twilight leaned forwards. "What is it?" "This is a fully functioning clockwork eye! Anypony who has one installed will be able to see through it as a normal eye. In addition, it comes with night vision-" the orb lit up with a green glow "a torch-" a light shown out into twilights face "a holographic projector-" a semi transparent image of a pony appeared on the table "and a laser!" a red light shot out and set the curtains on fire. Fortunately the twin unicorns were prepared for this and managed to put it out without much difficultly. "Whoops, sorry!"