> Miscalculated
>  by The Bricklayer
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Magia
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scootaloo groaned as she fell back onto the grassy knolls beneath her, letting the blades tickle her fur and feathers. Another wasted day, she supposed. Attempting to get more than a few feet off the ground had been a total wash. Clearly, she’d miscalculated -what, she could read!- the sheer power it would take to even get up off the ground, with wings of her size. It had taken a few false starts, but Scootaloo was slowly beginning to resign herself to the fact that she may never actually even get to use her wings in any meaningful fashion.

“Come on Squirt!” Rainbow called out, blowing a whistle as Scootaloo got into a running start, trying desperately to take to the air. But it was all for naught, sadly, the poor little filly crashing into the ground only a few seconds after she’d tried to take flight. 

“...Damn it…” Scootaloo whispered to herself, rubbing her sore flanks having landed in some rather thorny bushes. Rainbow was dabbing away at the wounds with a soft cloth. “Why… why can’t I fly?”

“Oh, don’t sweat it kid,” Rainbow said kindly having seen her little sister’s distress. “You’ll be up there someday, flying with me. It just takes time. You’re probably a late bloomer, that’s all! And hey, you don’t need to fly well. I mean, forgive me for this girl, but Fluttershy? She doesn’t fly well, and she gets along just fine doesn’t she? You just need to fly, that’s all right?”

“Am I? A late bloomer, I mean?” Scootaloo asked, sounding doubtful. After all, she had been trying to achieve flight for several years, and was beginning to have serious doubts. She doubted by this point even someone like her sister would be able to help her. “Let’s get real here, Rainbow. If I haven’t achieved flight by this point, then I’m probably never going to do that. I’m-”

“You’re what?” Rainbow asked. “Whatever you’re about to say about yourself, it’s probably wrong, I just know it. I believe in you, and your abilities squirt.”

“Pah!” Scootaloo snorted. “No amount of believing is going to change my situation, is it?” 

“See, you’re doing it again, squirt!” Rainbow said poking the filly in the chest with a hoof. “You sound like someone who's given up on everything. When you talk, you use empty words. In fact, you're doing it now. You're not fooling anyone. Nuh-uh. I’ve talked to you about this, kid. It’s a problem of mind over matter, if you don’t believe in yourself, well then you’re not going to get anywhere!”

“Says you!” Scootaloo snapped. “You’re big, and you’re successful with tons of friends who you can go to with your problems. Tartarus below,  you don’t have any problems!”

“Scootaloo…” Rainbow whispered sadly. 

In the bushes, a set of emotionless red eyes watched. This was a perfect candidate to bring into the collective. She was desperate, and those were always the best ones to bring to despair. Some may have called it a sadist, but the Collective was anything but. They liked to think of themselves as pragmatic, really. The ones who were always the most desperate to reach out, and take that one final step were always the easiest to gather energy from. All to stave all the oncoming universal entropy of course. 

And this whole world was rife with energy, a new type of energy in fact. It defied all of the laws of science in which the Collective knew, took the laws of thermodynamics and essentially tossed them out the window. Clearly, this world would have to be investigated. They would send only one, of course. It would be their member with the greatest track record. And once he had proven that this would be safe, and ripe for the harvest then they would come in force.

“Just… just shut up, okay!” Scootaloo shouted unaware of that which lurked in the undergrowth. “I can handle things on my own, I can go ahead and fly anytime I wish! You say it’s just a mind over matter type of thing right? Well, I’m going to go ahead and prove I can fly, especially without such a crappy teacher!” 

With that, she stormed off.

Obviously, Scootaloo’s plans hadn’t exactly come to fruition. 

“I wish that…” the filly began to say, looking up at the clear blue skies above her, watching the local weather pegasi sort out the clouds.

“Oh no no, I’d be careful about saying that,” a voice said, and Scootaloo felt the beginnings of a throbbing headache begin to form. That voice always spelled trouble for her. “You need to understand the ramifications of a wish. A single act, it can have far-reaching consequences.”

“...Hello Discord,” Scootaloo groaned out, looking to her left to see a bush with two yellow eyes. “I assume there’s some sort of point to this?”

“Just looking out for one of my three favorite fillies,” Discord said, slithering from the bushes in the form of a snake before resuming his usual chimera style form. “Awwww, is the little chicken having a bad day?”

“Is that meant to be sarcastic, or rhetorical?” Scootaloo asked. “You probably know the answer already, really. And don’t call me a chicken!” she snapped. Discord looked unfazed.

“Oooooh, I’m so intimidated. What is the little filly going to do, spit up on me? He-he! In any case… Sarcasm and rhetoric, I always thought they were pretty much the same thing really,” Discord said stroking his beard in thought. “But that’s beside the point.”

“Then what is the point?” Scootaloo had to ask. “This warning me about wishes thing?”

“Oh yes, quite so!” Discord said. “Making wishes… well, in my experience they usually never turn out exactly the way you want them to, do they? For example, let’s say you wished for cake. Cake’s good, yes? But you’d have to word your wish very carefully, really. You might end with chocolate instead of vanilla. Or someone else might lose their cake even! For all the happiness you wish for someone, someone else gets cursed with equal misery.”

“That’s just not being specific,” Scootaloo said in reply. “Like, I’d think I’d be smarter than that.”

“Okay, bad example! I know, horrendous of me!” Discord admitted, even if he thought Scootaloo was missing the point entirely. Like, the point he was trying to make was flying completely over her head. Oh well then, he decided. If Scootaloo was as stubborn as her older sister in spirit, then he’d have to go right for the jugular for her to get the point. This was going to hurt her more than it hurt him, but there was that old saying about misery building character after all. “Okay, I know this next one will hurt. But say your father got involved in a hypothetical war. You wish for him to come home. And he does come home, but in a coffin.”

“How dare you!?!” Scootaloo snapped at the draconequus. “I love my father, and I’d never wish for that!”

“I know, but do you get where I’m trying to go for?” Discord asked. To him, Scootaloo needed to hear this, like she literally needed to hear this. She was playing a dangerous game, and he knew beings who would very much like to take advantage of her situation. “Wishes are a dangerous thing, really. They have so much magical potential. Why, I heard of someone asking to live forever, and guess what? They did. Except, thing is, they were turned into a scarecrow ... er, scarepony, I suppose really, and made to watch over the farm fields forever.”

“That’s… that’s horrible…” Scootaloo whispered.

“No, it’s a lesson of being careful what you wish for, and reading the fine print,” Discord said sounding as if he’d experienced all of this before -which given his age was highly probable- and moreover had some hand in events like this. Which, given this was Discord was also highly probable. “Look, I’m just trying to look out for you. You may not realize it, but that’s what I’m trying to do. Take all of this as you will. But there are beings out there in the cosmos, in this grand scheme of things who would take advantage of your naivete.”

“Or you’re just trying to screw with me,” Scootaloo said. 

“Or I could possibly be trying to do that,” Discord shrugged. “I’ve lied, yes. Certainly misinterpreted. But I’ve always told the exact truth, in a way. It’s what I do. I’m the Trickster Mentor! I trick, I like to do a bit of backstabbing and quite possibly if I feel up to it, bamboozle you. But it’s all to prepare you, as a species, for harder times. I’m obvious in my ways. Others are not.”

“....Yeah, you’re not so… obvious,” Scootaloo said. “Like you yourself said, you lie and you bamboozle others. You manipulate.”

“Do I?” Discord asked. “I lie only by omission, let others think what they want to think, and let their actions take over, and they do the rest. Simple as that. But we’ve gotten off track. I’m warning you right now, Scootaloo Shutter. Be careful what you wish for, otherwise you just might get it… and more.” he said, giving Scootaloo a concerned longing look.

With that, he snapped his fingers and vanished in a flash of white light. Scootaloo was left to think on his words, and groaned. Sometimes she really hated her life.

“Would you like to make a contract?” a jingly voice asked, and Scootaloo looked to her left to see this white creature, she wasn’t sure what it was -it seemed to be a cross between a cat and a weasel of some sort- staring at her. The thing she took notice of first, well that was the eyes. They were unblinking, eyebrowless. It was kinda creepy, if Scootaloo was being honest with herself. Sweetie Belle or Apple Bloom might have thought it cute, but quite honestly? Scootaloo just got some sort of eerie vibe coming off the little guy.

“Contract?” Scootaloo asked. “...Yeah, look, I’m sorry, but I can’t take you seriously with those eyes. It’s like you don’t even know what a face looks like!”

“Is there something wrong with my face?” the creature asked. “I do not understand. What does my face have to do with anything?”

“It… well, it just looks wrong!” Scootaloo stammered out, taking a few steps back from the creature. It was about the size of a small dog, like around Winona’s size, only with rabbit-like ears that sorta resembled wings. Maybe it was a rabbit, maybe it was some sort of mutated joke that Discord had just up and forgot about. Maybe it was Angel Bunny’s demonic lovechild. Okay, that last one wasn’t probably it. Probably. 

“Perhaps this is more desirable?” the creature asked, still in that soft and melodic tone of voice of his. Well, Scootaloo would assume it to be a him. At any rate, somehow in some strange way it managed to enlarge it’s pupils, achieving a more cute look. It didn’t subtract from the eeriness of the whole scenario, really. In fact, to Scootaloo it only made it worse. This certainly didn’t convince her that this creature was in somehow in some way related to Discord. And now that she thought about it, with his ears looking like wings? Way to rub in, you jackass!

“So, what’s this about a contract?”

“A contract to become a magical girl!” the creature chimed. “Or… well, magical filly in your case I suppose. Trust me, any and all of your problems would be solved!”

“Including my… flightlessness?” Scootaloo asked carefully, no hopefully.

“Even that!” the creature said.

Now ordinarily, Scootaloo would probably have taken the creature up on his deal no questions asked. But fresh off her conversation with Discord? Now, things were another matter entirely.

“Look, I’m not one to just take miracles at face value. Gimme some time to think about it, okay?” Scootaloo requested, and the creature only nodded.

“And I will be waiting. The name’s Kyubey by the way, pleased to meet you Scootaloo!”

“How did it know my name?” Scootaloo asked as she ran off towards the clubhouse to tell her friends. Maybe they had better advice for all of this.

Kyubey meanwhile, if it could have smiled it would have. All was going according to plan.







Tucked away, deep in the apple orchards of the Apple family farms was an old, and rotting clubhouse that had seen many a year. It’d been passed down through the family for a few generations now, and currently was the home of the Cutie Mark Crusaders and their schemes. 

“...and then he just promised me he could make me fly, just like that,” Scootaloo tried to explain. “No questions asked, nothing.”

“Seriously, none?” Apple Bloom asked. “I dunno Scoots, seems awfully fishy to me. I mean, usually, with deals like that, there’s always a catch involved.”

“What do you mean?” Scootaloo asked.

“I mean, doesn’t it seem that little bit just too good to be true?” Sweetie joined in. “Yeah, I’d have to agree with Bloom here. There’s just something he’s not telling you. And what type of name is Kyubey anyways? Seems dumb.”

“Really, that’s your issue here?” Apple Bloom asked. “About his name?”

“It’s an odd name! It’s probably short for something, if you ask me!” Sweetie Belle squeaked. “Seriously Scootaloo, you can’t possibly be thinking of taking this guy up on his offer! I mean, there’s a catch somewhere!”

“You don’t get it!” Scootaloo shouted, holding back a sob. “All my life I’ve wanted to fly, and here it is, being served up to me on a silver platter!”

“I understand,” Sweetie said bringing her friend in for a hug. “But you’ve got to see the writing on the wall, there’s something this Kyubey is not telling you.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Scootaloo shouted, her face stinging with hot tears. “But… but I want to fly, like every other pegasus! And I may never get a chance to do that, not unless I-”

“Make a wish, and not wonder what you get in return to balance it out?” Sweetie asked, before drawing back a hoof and slapping Scootaloo firmly across the face. “Look at yourself, you’re an idiot if you don’t think that you’re being played! For all you know, you could be selling your soul!”

“Well, I have to say,” came Kyubey’s voice and all three members of the Crusaders looked up to see the creature sitting in the windowsill. “You three are a lot more intelligent than most of the Potentials I talk to.”

This was a change in the agenda, to be certain. It hadn’t been anticipated for the three potentials to actually figure out that there was more than was being told to them. It was of no consequence anyhow. They would succumb to their own little desires in the end. Everyone always did. It was the law of cycles after all.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sweetie Belle asked, her horn sparking with light green energy. Kyubey didn’t flinch.

After all, why would it? It had seen far more dangerous things, and in any case even if -and this was a very big if- this little pony managed to kill this current body it could make another. Yes, it sped up the death of the universe, but it would be worth it. After all, it would gather these three, and their magical energy would quite possibly, be what was called a silver lining. 

“Just nobody I have ever talked to in all of my long years of existence has ever asked a few very simple questions,” Kyubey observed. “They just take up my offers, no questions asked and go on about their lives. Oh well, such is the folly of stupidity I suppose.”

Scootaloo’s earlier confusion had been replaced by another emotion. Rage. And all of it was directed towards the being known as Kyubey. “And say we do take up your offer, any one of us? What then? What’s the catch?”

“Oh, no catch,” Kyubey continued. “At least, no significant one. All you would have to do is fight those called Witches, and prevent others from falling into despair. It really is that simple.”

“Well, that actually sounds kinda cool,” Scootaloo said. “We’d be like superheroes!”

“In a sense, yes,” Kyubey said. Again, if it could smile it would have. All it would take was just a few more pushes, and these three would be within the collective’s thrall. “Again, it really is-”

“That simple huh?” Apple Bloom asked. “You make it sound like we’re soldiers of some sort. How do we know you’re not asking us to fight in some war you yourself started?”

Oh, she was clever. Nobody in all of the collective’s lifetime had ever been smart enough to ask that question. 

“I do not understand, there is a problem with this?” Kyubey asked. “I looked up the history of recent years when I arrived in this kingdom. Your Princess, Princess Celestia of Sol, the Solar Invictus made her student fight her own sister with very little information and just expected her to triumph.”

“Because she had faith in Twilight!” Sweetie Belle shouted. “I don’t know about you, but I’m not forming any contracts with you unless I see the fine print. I’ve learned a thing or two from my sister after all. Helps to be a good buisnessmare when you help out at a boutique.”

“Oh, you are stubborn,” Kyubey said. “I like that. It means you never back down from a challenge. That’s a good quality for a magical girl. Plus, if you work at a boutique, your costume must be a simply fabulous one! That’s the part I always look forward to, seeing what designs my girls come up with.”

“And you don’t seem to understand when no means no,” Apple Bloom said, stamping her hoof. “You are not wanted here, Kyubey, and we are not ‘your girls’! Now scat, you hear?”

Oh, Kyubey realized. It seemed to have overstepped itself for the time being. It never understood why exactly the livestock hated to be referred to as belonging to them. Because they did, they just didn’t know it yet. So caught up in its musings, Kyubey was, that it failed to see two powerful hooves heading its direction. 

Kyubey was sent flying out the window, and into the orchard knocked through several trees making them topple like dominos. A new body was quickly forged for itself. Oh well, it mused. They would come around, in time. He had just miscalculated the amount of force required to push them into the collective’s clutches. 

Sweetie Belle was furious, she had stomped her way home. She couldn’t believe the nerve of that little weasel… thing. It spoke so coldly, and so emotionlessly. He spoke of them as his, like he was so sure that they’d fall to his desires in the end. 

So focused on her musings was she, not even hearing the sounds of Scootaloo calling behind her did she notice that as she walked into an alleyway where everything seemed to go crazy. Scootaloo was right behind her, and together they watched as the whole world seemed to warp into something out of Hoofidoor Dali’s worst nightmare. All around them seemed to be a giant bakery, a massive cake in the center.

“...where… where are we?” Sweetie Belle squeaked out as giggles came from all around them. She lifted her hoof up, and tasted what was on it. Was that… vanilla frosting? It was! “Discord, are you responsible for this?”

No answer came. Sweetie Belle took that as yes. “We’ve got to get out of here…” Scootaloo muttered from behind her.

And so they ran, seemingly deeper into this labyrinthian maze of chaos, only for a doll-like creature to come swarming out of the darkness. It looked a bit like Pinkie Pie, which Scootaloo supposed was rather fitting in some regards but it was clearly NOT the partymare. Then she saw a massive chasm in front of her. 

“Grab on!” Scootaloo shouted, Sweetie nervously nodding as she grabbed onto Scootaloo’s leg. 

To her amazement, somehow in some way, Scootaloo managed to jump over the gap and fly, if only for a few short seconds landing face first in frosting. “So now will you take me up on my offer?” Kyubey asked, the creature sitting in front of them waiting for an answer. “It is the only way to escape this Witch.”

“Yeah?” Sweetie Belle asked, looking behind her to see the creature fast approaching. “Well, we’ll see about that!” 

She fired at the witch, a stream of magical energy knocking it into whatever passed for a wall in this place. It didn’t move, and it seemed to be dead. For all of about 30 seconds anyways, until it transformed and in its place was a massive caterpillar-like thing, jaws opened wide ready to swallow Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo whole.

“I told you.” Kyubey sighed. “Oh well, clearly this was a wash anyways.”

Then, something impacted the side of the cake worm, sending it flying into another wall. Apple Bloom, having entered at exactly just the right time. But how could she have found them, in this maze? And so fast, at that.

Kyubey seemed to be wondering that exact same thing. Then, ‘he’ found himself trapped in a bubble of sorts.

“Well, isn’t this a little surprise! Someone causing chaos, and it’s not me nor was I invited to the party!” came a familiar voice, and to the three Crusaders, it seemed to be the most wonderful sound in the world at the moment. A snap of the fingers and the witch was turned into the size of an actual caterpillar and trapped under a glass. There was no mistaking that tone in Discord’s voice, Scootaloo thought with a shudder. Rage.

“And who are you to interfere in this experiment?” Kyubey asked. 

“Uh-oh.” Scootaloo swallowed, knowing two things. One, she had just barely escaped death, and two, this statement followed by this knowledge meant whatever he was, Kyubey was screwed.

“Experiment?” Discord asked. “Is that what you call this… Incubator?”

Kyubey’s eyes almost seemed to widen. “So you know.”

“I suspected, at first,” Discord said. “Apple Bloom came babbling to me about a strange creature talking about magical girls and the like. You just confirmed it for me. Your words were the last piece of the puzzle for me.”

“I-Incubator, what is he…?” Sweetie Belle stammered out.

“They’re nothing, really,” Discord said in this tone, one that one might take when talking about something as small and unimportant as a fly. “They are simply gnats under my shoes. They like to think of themselves as the arbiters of the universe, really. They’re really quite pathetic, actually.”

“Who are you to dismiss us?” Kyubey asked. If Discord didn’t know better, he could have sworn it sounded indignant.

“Who am I?” Discord asked stroking his beard in thought. “Oh, I’m just a nobody, passing through if you will. But now, you see I’ve just had the grandest of ideas. Isn’t this fun, Incubator? You having these girls run about like rats in a maze, as a sort of experiment?”

“Well, if anything would get them to finally become magical girls, then the fear of certain death would-”

“Fear of certain death?” Discord asked. “Oh, that’s just easy, an old tactic!”

“You mean he was going to-” Scootaloo snarled, as Sweetie’s horn sparked from behind her.

“Oh yes, quite. Really rather boring actually,” Discord said still in that dismissive tone. He snapped his fingers again, and the witch’s labyrinth faded away as a liquid to reveal the Whitetail Woods. “But it did give me an idea of my own, really. Because I've decided to conduct an experiment of my own. I want to see how you react to being imprisoned. You of all creatures, a hive mind, should be interesting enough to study. I might just keep you. Sounds fun, no?”

“Who are you?” Kyubey asked.

“Oh, pish-posh! No need to rush!” Discord laughed, and suddenly the CMC could almost pity Kyubey. Because whatever Discord was planning, it could not be good for this… Incubator. “Go on then! Tell them what your real plan was. Oh yes, you wanted them to be magical girls, yes, but did you tell them what form they’d be taking?”

“Does it matter?” Kyubey asked. “Their old bodies would be so inefficient for the task at hand anyways, better to store away their souls where they couldn’t be… damaged.”

Apple Bloom felt like she was going to be sick. 

“You mean you were really going to…” Scootaloo whispered, horrified. 

“Oh yes, quite. All in the name of the greater good, of course, all to stave off the entropy of the universe, really. I suppose I should tell you the full truth. We could make magical girls turn into witches and collect vast amounts of energy all in one go. Your hope and despair are the keys; the phase change between those emotions creates huge amounts of energy, more than we ever imagined. You magical girls are the gateway to limitless possibilities.”

“W-witches?” Sweetie Belle stammered out. “You mean that creature was once…”

“Oh yes, quite!” Kyubey jingled. “On this planet, you call females who have yet to become adults ‘girls’  It makes sense, then, that since you'll eventually become witches, you should be called ‘magical girls’.

“You’re sick!” Scootaloo shouted.

“No, simply trying to save the universe,” Kyubey said. “If we must play the villain as you call it, then so be it.”

“Oh, I think I’ve heard about enough of you…” Discord sighed. “Blah blah, Magical Girl this. Witch that. Now that you have had a taste of captivity, perhaps you will reconsider the morality of inflicting it upon others. ...Then again, you’ve been doing this for years, so probably not. I think a sterner lesson is in order. I think it’s time you know who I am.”

With that, he leaned down and looked Kyubey dead in the eyes.

MasterofChaosFireDeathScreamingElementsofHarmonyDraconequusAbominationtoallthingsOrderlyRUNRUNRUN!

Those were the general thought processes of the Collective as they looked madness dead in the eyes. “Hmm, your race seems to consider emotions a mental disorder…” Discord mused. “I wonder then… how will it fare when faced with ME! Oh well, not my problem anymore. Goodbye.”

SNAP!

“Where… where did you send him?” Sweetie Belle asked, still shuddering. Finally, she ducked her head into a bush, and let her lunch make a return appearance. Eventually, the dry heaves stopped. She had come so close to facing death, or something possibly worse and it was only thanks to Discord of all creatures that they weren’t puppets dancing to Kyubey’s tune.

“Oh, nowhere important. But Kyubey, nor any other members of his race will be bothering this planet ever again. Now run along home girls, your families are waiting for you. You’ve got a hard day of crusading in the morning, don’t you?”

His eyes widened when all three of the Cutie Mark Crusaders ran, and tackled Discord over in a tight hug. “Oh… Okay. Geez! Not even Fluttershy ever hugged me this tight! Okay, yeah, I can feel my air starting to go!”





Later that evening, Scootaloo met up with Rainbow Dash. “I’m… sorry for all the things I said to you,” Scootaloo whispered as the sun slowly fell over Equestria. “I… I didn’t mean any of them, honest!”

“I know you didn’t,” Rainbow laughed as she gave her sister in all but blood a good noogie. “I’ve said some pretty stupid things in my life as well, to be honest. Like, did I ever tell you about the time I yelled at Spitfire?”

“You?” Scootaloo gaped. “You yelled at Spitfire?”

“Yeah,” Rainbow admitted. “It was pretty stupid of me, to be honest. I got put on KP duty for a good solid month. Oh well, live and learn eh?”

Live and learn, Scootaloo mused to herself, Yeah, she could understand that. She’d done just such a thing today, learning about the value of wishes and how she should take such a thing far more seriously. She would never throw out the words “I wish…” again ever so carelessly. Kyubey and Discord had taught her that. 

“Never fret kid,” Rainbow smiled. “We’ll get you up and flying up and about in a jiffy, or my name isn’t Rainbow Danger Dash!”

“...I thought it was Diana?” Scootaloo asked.

“SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” Rainbow shushed her planting a hoof squarely over her mouth. “Do you want everyone to hear?”

Still, Scootaloo had to wonder. Whatever had happened to Kyubey?





Kyubey hurtled through space. Clearly, things had not gone according to the collective’s plan. It was no small matter, it could easily return to that planet when Discord was gone. 

“After all, we just miscalculated, and didn’t take in such an unexpected variable.”

Then it felt a strange sort of… heat. That was odd, it mused to itself. Where could possibly such a heat be coming from… Oh. It realized this far too late, and in a split second was burnt to ashes. It would keep on regenerating this body, time and time again, never allowed to even think for the first few million regenerations. And when it finally was allowed to think for itself again, Kyubey could only feel one emotion it never thought it would ever feel. Rage. And then it felt another emotion, hope. Hope for the final death, whenever it came and whenever this star finally burnt itself out.

But that would not come, not for billions of years yet. In all of its calculations, the Incubators had forgotten about one simple thing about Equestria, and perhaps the universe in general. If you messed with someone another creature cared about, you had to be prepared to deal with the consequences. And that definitely extended to a draconequus.

END