It was a disillusion. You were a daydream, a fantasy. I projected the pony I wanted you to be onto whom you were, but you were not that stallion, even though you wanted to be him. You hurt me - constantly - even when you believed you were not. I was in-love with a broken image, a false hope. Thankfully, I have been able to recognize that and now emotionally, I am letting you go. Bye Coast… I loved you with all my heart, but unfortunately, no amount of love alone will fix you.
You never genuinely loved me because you have not experienced love. You were infatuated in me, in what I had to give you. To some extent, you could say the same thing about me, but I never gave up on you or us, until I realized there was no saving to be had. You are too far gone to save. You have to be able to save yourself, otherwise you will be messed up for the rest of your life. Unfortunately, due to your past environment and circumstances, you are too far gone to be able to save yourself, so it seems you are doomed to a life of suffering... it makes sense why you were so suicidal now...
It did not matter how many times I repeated myself about something that was bothering me because yes, "you did listen", but you never internalized what I was telling you (and you most likely never will because you are simply unable to), and that is why I kept repeating myself. No matter how many times I told you, you never applied it. So I kept trying to tell you, holding onto any hope that you would legitimately listen, but no, it never worked and it never will work.
I have been told it is in my own best interest to no longer be in-contact with you... because of everything that has happened, and I have gotten across why I no longer wanted to be in-contact with you already. I do not want to say goodbye nor block you out of my life, but it seems to be the best thing to do right now.. if in the future, given time, you work through your past and your not-so-great behaviors, we can look into possibilities then. Otherwise, I will talk to you in the future. I wish the best of luck to you and I hope you make progress (also, please do not jump into another relationship. If you seek to solve your inner conflicts by having your own needs met through other people, you will never improve (and under that logic, we will never be able to get back together again).).
Right now, it's best to just let him go. He could change in the future, but it's safer to assume he won't because I won't be hanging onto false hope. The last thing I want is to not give him the opportunity to be in-contact me, but if nothing changes, I shouldn't let him hang around like trash needing to be thrown out. Hopefully eventually he changes, but until he does though, I should not allow him to hang around because it is going to hold me back, preventing me from healing properly and fully.
He gave me a false sense of security, so that he could keep me all to himself to meet all his needs for him, causing me to put his needs above mine; my needs were never the priority, although he likes to paint the picture that they always were the priority (probably because his needs were never getting enough attention (HPD), but in his current state, they never will).
I do not deserve to be treated the way he treated me. I deserve to be loved by someone that I do not need to meet their needs in-order to be loved back.
That motherfucker is broken and he tried to break me in-order to fix himself.
He didn’t think about how he reacted to things would affect me, he was too focused on himself to fully realize how bad he hurt me. He wasn't concerned about how he affected me.
No about of love will ever be enough to satiate you or make you feel full. You will constantly need more. You are only able to give when you are able to.
The sound of thunder was booming through the homes of Ponyville. Rain was pouring down heavily with regular crackles from the storm. Everypony was indoors to avoid the mess outside. Ponyville had not seen this sort of weather for weeks and almost everypony wished it would go away. But the cheeky farm-pony, Cherry Blossom, was ecstatic! Her crops were finally going to receive the water they desperately needed; it was about time those pesky pegasi scheduled a shower-storm!
She was enjoying a cup of hot tea inside the comfort of her lovely abode in the outskirts of Ponyville, looking out at the fountain her plants were being soaked under. It was very difficult to see far, due to the intense downpour blocking much of the view, but regardless, Blossom loved it! She had been busting her flank this season tending to her crops and finally they were being hydrated well!
As she was relaxing in the prospect of her harvest in a few weeks, Cherry saw what looked like a pony out towards the edge of the forest. Why would somepony be out there in this weather?! Without a moment's hesitation, she opened the side door and began galloping towards the figure.
Rain was soaking her pastel yellow coat and dampening her ruby-red mane and tail on her way to the forest clearing. There was a pony out there!
"Hey! Hey! Are you okay?!" Cherry shouted across the field.
As she approached the forest border, the pony, appearing to be a royal blue stallion, was laying on the ground, eyes closed, seemingly struggling to breathe.
Cherry grabbed him by his shoulders, shook him repeatedly, and exclaimed words of panic. It did not seem to be doing anything. Eventually, she placed the stallion onto her back, and uncertain of where to take him, Blossom headed back towards her home in the pouring rain. It was not too difficult for her, considering she was a farmer and Earth pony, causing her to have major back strength.
Once Cherry arrived home, she dried him off, wrapped him up in a few warm blankets, and laid him down in her bed. He seemed to be breathing more deeply, versus the short, quick breathes from outside. His body seemed to be calming down, adjusting to the temperature. The storm outside was beginning to lighten up, rain falling much more delicately, but the sky was still quite gray. After about thirty minutes, his eyes slowly woke up. Once his fire orange eyes were open, he focused on the mare sitting on the floor. Her mane was damp, her coat frizzled, and her fog-colored eyes beaming with relief, coupled with an excited expression.
"You woke up! You were caught outside in the storm, I saw you, I went to go see if you were okay, you seemed to be struggling, and I figured the best thing to do was to bring you inside." Cherry choked out.
"Th.. thank you." The stallion said calmly with a smile, moving himself into a sitting position, with his back against the bed frame.
"What's your name?" Cherry asked.
"Coastal Swirl," the stallion responded. "And yours, madame?"
Cherry was a bit pleasantly surprised to hear that and blushed. "Cherry Blossom."
"Thank you for saving me - I wouldn't have made it without you."
Cherry blushed again, "It was nothing." She waved it off.
"No, that took a lot of courage. Thank you."
"N-no problem! It's all in a day's work, heh." Cherry replied.
Swirl smiled and said "your eyes are so pretty. They look like the color of clouds, protecting against the beaming sun."
"Well th-thank you," she stuttered. "Your eyes look like a burning flame."
"Heh, thank you, I am a very passionate pony."
“So how did you end up out there? I have never seen you around town,” Cherry questioned.
“Oh, I was kind of just getting away from everything… my life at home has been overwhelming, and I needed to escape it… I am very thankful you found me though.”
“Oh, heh, I am very sorry to hear that. And no prob-lem!” Cherry emitted.
“So this is your place? It’s nice.”
“Yeah heh, thank you.”
“Who do you live with?” Coast wondered.
“Oh, I live alone.”
“You seem to be quite young of a pony to live by yourself.” Cherry blushed. “Are you doing alright on your own?”
“Yes, I can handle things pretty well on my own. Although it would be nice to share it with somepony…” Cherry admitted.
“I would not mind that one bit myself, heh.” Coast responded.
“Are you sure your family would be okay with it..?”
“Oh, yeah, they don’t care about me. I will be much better off here with you.” Coast smiled and Cherry reddened, appropriately to her name.
“Are you feeling better?” Cherry asked.
“Oh, yes, much better, thank you so much!” Coast exclaimed.
“Of course.” Cherry smiled.
“So if I am going to be staying here, where would you like me to sleep?” Coast questioned.
“Oh! You can sleep in my bed. I can sleep on the couch.” Cherry responded.
“No, no,” Coast protested. “A mare like you should not have to give up her own bed for a stallion.” Coast insisted.
“Oh, heh, well, if you insist.” Cherry emanated.
“So what do you do with your time?” Coast asked.
“I’m a farmer! I farm cherries mainly, but also blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, and strawberries too. What about you, Coast?”
“That’s quite interesting! I bet your berries are incredibly sweet and savory. I am a sociologist, inspecting and learning about ponies and their cultures, that sort of thing.”
“Oh, that’s pretty cool! Where have you traveled to?” Cherry wondered.
“Oh, um, Canterlot, Ponyville, the Crystal Empire, Manehatten, and a few other places.”
“Wow, I bet it is really exciting to go everywhere and study all these different places!” Cherry exclaimed.
“Yeah! But it is also a bit nice to settle down every once and a while and just enjoy the scenario there, heh.”
“Oh, yeah, that is true too, heh.” Cherry agreed.
“How long have you lived here?” Coast questioned.
“I have lived in this house for almost two years, but I have lived in Manehatten most of my life.”
“Why did you move here?”
“To farm, of course! My parents are more urban-folk and I never really felt the same way. Once I discovered my love for farming, I did everything I could to get out here to pursue my dream.” Cherry shared.
“I am glad you were able to do that and made it here!” Coast smiled.
“Yeah! I love it here.”
“And I think I will too.” Coast spoke in agreement, Cherry smiled.
